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Wait, We're hosting?

Wow! Clearly the World Cup Committee is very much off its rocker to even consider us the hosts of the World Cup but they have so here we are. Especially now that there is a redraw AND more importantly we trusted Vilita. Man we're idiots.

The redraw was announced December 8, at 9:00 CST in front of 12 people on IRC.
The redraw as follows (for scheduling purposes the draw is not placed in ranking order.)

Group 1:
Tocapa (103)
Cataduanes (36)
Okielahoma (54)
The Islands of Qutar (17)
Anrow (197)
Algal States (141) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=18)
Az-Cz (28) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=24)
Liverpool England (7) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=19)
Sel Appa (81) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=47)

Group 2:
Krytenia (2) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=35)
Commerce Heights (11) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=43)
Bostopia (98) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12043468&postcount=14)
The HURD (192)
Alasdair I Frosticus (70)
Nomadasia (155)
Turori (27)
Ropa-Topia (57) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=40)
Elves Security Forces (45) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12042907&postcount=4)

Group 3:
Alexandrian Ptolemais (UR)
Bushes Been Quaked (95) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=42)
Vilita (33)
Race Track (142)
New Montreal States (6) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=22)
Dance 2 Revolution (44)
Quakmybush (21) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12042907&postcount=3)
Anastasiania (65) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=45)
Kericia (60)

Group 4:
Backwardistan (77)
Salwinia (177)
Oliverry (4) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=29)
Spaam (19)
The Mice of Miceland (58) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=41)
Cafundeu (104) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12043468&postcount=16)
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (35)
The Deathbat Republic (190)
The Lowland Clans (23) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=33)

Group 5:
The Great Monty Python (UR)
Bedistan (3) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=46)
Sativaville (52) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=28)
Bazalonia (18) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=37)
The New Hypocria (143)
Nebuleux (69)
Green Wombat (46) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=21)
Snub Nose 39 (122)
Nedalia (32)

Group 6:
Casari (8) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=25)
Choobie International (129)
New Propaganida (UR) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12043468&postcount=15)
Spindomia (72) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=30)
Fmjphoenix (22)
Noremark (109) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=27)
Marceau State (55) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=26)
Spruitland (20)
Aurendia (38)

Group 7:
Qazox (29) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12043468&postcount=7)
Florida Oranges (UR)
Assegai Developments (102) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12046017&postcount=17)
Schiavonia (14) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=38)
Ariddia (9) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12042907&postcount=5)
Stromboland (176)
Wentland (42) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=39)
Lisburn Mateys (50) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=36)
The Mushroom Kingship (74)

Group 8:
Voskadouria (UR)
Errinundera (31) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=23)
Demot (43) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=20)
Rorysville (51) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12043468&postcount=6)
Commerce Heights JSY (89) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=43)
Paleoslavia (154)
Squornshelous (1)
Rejistania (13) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12042882&postcount=2)
Haraki (61)

Group 9:
Spaamanian Plijous (59)
Schnabo (UR)
Starblaydia (5) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12043468&postcount=8)
Rordia (84)
Raging Penguins (48)
Fort Europe (132) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=32)
Harlesburg (80)
Northern Caesarea (24)
The Archregimancy (16)

Group 10:
Dumania (110) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12043468&postcount=13)
Dorian and Sonya (64)
The Gold TyGrr (178)
Yafor 2 (53) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=34)
Cuation (26) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12043468&postcount=11)
Bettia (15) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=31)
Seckland (UR) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12047877&postcount=44)
Tynelia (37) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12043468&postcount=10)
Jeruselem (10) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12043468&postcount=12)

And new schedule:
MD01: Friendlies
MD02: 1 B, 2 v 9, 3 v 8, 4 v 7, 5 v 6
MD03: 2 B, 1 v 9, 6 v 3, 8 v 4, 7 v 5
MD04: 3 B, 5 v 1, 4 v 2, 6 v 8, 9 v 7
MD05: 4 B, 1 v 8, 2 v 3, 5 v 9, 7 v 6
MD06: 5 B, 1 v 7, 8 v 2, 3 v 9, 4 v 6
MD07: 6 B, 3 v 1, 2 v 7, 8 v 5, 9 v 4
MD08: 7 B, 1 v 4, 6 v 2, 5 v 3, 9 v 8
MD09: 8 B, 2 v 1, 7 v 3, 4 v 5, 6 v 9
MD10: 9 B, 1 v 6, 2 v 5, 3 v 4, 8 v 7
MD11: Friendlies
MD12: 1 B, 9 v 2, 8 v 3, 7 v 4, 6 v 5
MD13: 2 B, 9 v 1, 3 v 6, 4 v 8, 5 v 7
MD14: 3 B, 1 v 5, 2 v 4, 8 v 6, 7 v 9
MD15: 4 B, 8 v 1, 3 v 2, 9 v 5, 6 v 7
MD16: 5 B, 7 v 1, 2 v 8, 9 v 3, 6 v 4
MD17: 6 B, 1 v 3, 7 v 2, 5 v 8, 4 v 9
MD18: 7 B, 4 v 1, 2 v 6, 3 v 5, 8 v 9
MD19: 8 B, 1 v 2, 3 v 7, 5 v 4, 9 v 6
MD20: 9 B, 6 v 1, 5 v 2, 4 v 3, 7 v 8

Good luck to all competitors in World Cup 32, may your qualification be easy and successful. (We all know its not going to happen but its nice to hope right?)

Scores thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=510563)

The original draw is as follows:
Group 1:
The Mushroom Kingship (74)
The HURD (192)
New Montreal States (6)
Snub Nose 39 (122)
Turori (27)
Cataduanes (36)

Group 2:
Bedistan (3)
Nedalia (32)
Sel Appa (81)
Florida Oranges (UR)
Algal States (141)
Demot (43)

Group 3:
Squornshelous (1)
Rordia (84)
Bazalonia (18)
Anrow (197)
Aurendia (38)
Kericia (60)

Group 4:
Okielahoma (54)
Race Track (142)
Northern Caesarea (24)
Nebuleux (69)
Liverpool England (7)
Paleoslavia (154)

Group 5:
Fort Europe (132)
Spaamanian Plijous (59)
Cuation (26)
Salwinia (177)
Lisburn Mateys (50)
Commerce Heights (11)

Group 6:
Choobie International (129)
Raging Penguins (48)
Alexandrian Ptolemais (UR)
Bettia (15)
Quakmybush (21)
Ropa-Topia (57)

Group 7:
Schnabo (UR)
Qazox (29)
Krytenia (2)
The New Hypocria (143)
Rorysville (51)
Haraki (61)

Group 8:
Dorian and Sonya (64)
Ariddia (9)
The Deathbat Republic (190)
Spaam (19)
Assegai Developments (102)
Tynelia (37)

Group 9:
Sativaville (52)
Stromboland (176)
Backwardistan (77)
Noremark (109)
Spruitland (20)
Rejistania (13)

Group 10:
Tocapa (103)
The Lowland Clans (23)
Spindomia (72)
Voskadouria (UR)
Oliverry (4)
Wentland (42)

Group 11:
Casari (8)
The Mice of Miceland (58)
Dance 2 Revolution (44)
Cafundeu (104)
Seckland (UR)
The Islands of Qutar (17)

Group 12:
Anastasiania (65)
Vilita (33)
Jeruselem (10)
Commerce Heights JSY (89)
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (35)
The Great Monty Python (UR)

Group 13:
Elves Security Forces (45)
Harlesburg (80)
New Propaganida (UR)
Bostopia (98)
Fmjphoenix (22)
Schiavonia (14)

Group 14:
Errinundera (31)
The Archregimancy (16)
The Gold TyGrr (178)
Green Wombat (46)
Marceau State (55)
Dumania (110)

Group 15:
Alasdair I Frosticus (70)
Yafor 2 (53)
Starblaydia (5)
Bushes Been Quaked (95)
Az-Cz (28)
Nomadasia (155)

Schedule:
Friendlies
MD1: 6-1, 2-5, 3-4
MD2: 1-3, 4-2, 5-6
MD3: 5-1, 3-2, 6-4
MD4: 1-4, 2-6, 3-5
MD5: 2-1, 4-5, 6-3
Friendlies.

Then reversed for MDs 6-10.

The original draw will not die! Long live Skanderbeg!

Greg Hughes walked out of the teleconfrence room. "Hmmmmm" he thought to himself. He got in his car and drove back to his office. He sat at his desk got out a piece of paper and put the other piece of paper down. He got out a pen and started to scribble stuff down.

(15) Bettia
(21) Quakmybush
(48) Raging Penguins
(57) Ropa-Topia
(129) Choobie International
(UR) Alexandrian Ptolemais

"Bettia, the guys that hate red. Hopefully a draw or maybe a win from these guys. Raging Penguins, wow, these guys again, hopefully two wins, but you never know with these guys. Ropa-Topia, don't no much about these guys, hopefully two wins. Choobie International... yummy cannon fodder, six points. Finally Alexandrian Ptolemais, is that how you say that. I think so, six points." he thought as he wrote it down. After he finished writing it down he went to tell the team.

Group 2:
Bedistan (3)
Nedalia (32)
Sel Appa (81)
Florida Oranges (UR)
Algal States (141)
Demot (43)

Sel Appa faces some interesting teams in this World Cup. The Turtles have faced only Algal States in the previous World Cup 31 qualifiers, winning both matches. Sel Appa is ranked 4th in the group and could in fact qualify. Coach Charles DuPont says he think Sel Appa will do very good this time and that the first two were just introductory and practice. Several players on the team also share this view. This will mark the Turtles' third shot at the World Cup.

Schedule:
(Friendlies?)
MD1-Florida Oranges
MD2-@ Bedistan
MD3-Nedalia
MD4-Algal States
MD5-@ Demot
(Friendlies?)
MD6-@ Florida Oranges
MD7-Bedistan
MD8-@ Nedalia
MD9-@ Algal States
MD10-Demot
(Friendlies?)

THE MONASTIC TIMES

REVOLUTION IN THE MONASTIC FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION
New Chairman Promises "Less Complaining, More Christian Charity"

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

Monastic footballing fans across the Archregimancy were said to be reeling in shock this morning at the news of a revolution in the Monastic Football Association that saw the old leadership deposed and replaced by a new group led by the recently resigned national coach Fr. Polycarp the Venerable.

"For far too long the Monastic Football Association has been a byword for intolerance, damaging the message of love central to the Orthodox life. While wary of the dangers of the sin of false ecumenicism, our new leadership will bring less complaining and more Christian charity to the MFA" said the new chairman.

Sources close to Fr. Polycarp say that the last straw for the venerable former coach and national team captain was the attitude of the MFA to the World Cup finals draw in World Cup 31, which pitted the Archregimancy against top teams Liverpool England and Starblaydia. While the MFA cried 'anti-Orthodox Catholic conspiracy' to all who would listen (and quite a few who wouldn't), a disgusted Fr. Polycarp was said to have wanted to just get on with the job of qualifying for the next round. That the squad managed precisely that - eliminating Liverpool England in the process - is said to have considerably strengthened the venerable hermit's hand in last night's coup.

"Fr. Polycarp wants to see a little less Esphigmenou and a little more St. Seraphim of Sarov" said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity, before noting how close to his heart the new head of the MFA holds St. Seraphim's injunction 'Acquire a peaceful spirit, and around you thousands will be saved'. When told that non-Orthodox would perhaps not understand the references to Esphigmenou and St. Seraphim, the archimandrite merely told those concerned to 'look them up on that secular wiki thingy'.

Perhaps ironically, despite the revolution, Fr. Polycarp is said to be keen on maintaining the anonymous squad policy that served the Archregimancy so well in the last world cup. "They can't scout you if they don't know who you are!" said a source close to the team.

Fr. Polycarp will be replaced as national team coach by Fr. David the Water Drinker, who was also his successor as captain, and who will be the first Western-rite monk to coach the national squad.

THE HOLY EMPIRE HERALD

WORLD CUP QUALIFYING GROUP DRAW ANNOUNCED
Gnomes, Golden Wolves, and Starblaydia Main Obstacles to Comeback

By Anna Comneno

The qualifying draw for World Cup 32 was announced overnight, with the Holy Empire facing an uphill battle to qualify for the finals for the first time since World Cup 4.

Isaac, Prince Imperial, announced that he was confident that the Imperial Squad would qualify over what he termed 'gnomes, wolves, and those johnny-come-lately Starblaydia upstarts', but few people have paid attention to the Prince Imperial's opinions on footballing matters since His Royal Highness qualifying predictions for World Cup 31.

Perhaps more relevant were comments from coach Juan Tzimisces who, while still refusing to talk to the present reporter following the launch of this newspaper's 'Tzimisces must go' campaign in the previous world cup, told a colleague that he would be perfectly pleased if the final qualifying table resembled the group draw table, but that it would be more realistic to expect mid-table obscurity for a still-improving squad.

For the present moment, this reporter is still willing to give the coach another chance, at least until the two inevitable heavy defeats to Starblaydia.

Group 15:
Alasdair I Frosticus (70)
Yafor 2 (53)
Starblaydia (5)
Bushes Been Quaked (95)
Az-Cz (28)
Nomadasia (155)

Group 8:
Dorian and Sonya (64)
Ariddia (9)
The Deathbat Republic (190)
Spaam (19)
Assegai Developments (102)
Tynelia (37)

The Crimson Blade

Tough Draw for Assegai Developments

Despite improvements in team management, performance and results, Assegai Developments was placed in a very tough group for World Cup XXXII.

As a result, the Riskbreakers will have to take on three very tough teams in Ariddia (ranked No. 9), Spaam (No. 19) and Tynelia (No. 37), all of which represent daunting tasks for most national teams. Assegai will also have to deal with Dorian and Sonya (No. 64), which is no slouch either. About the only feasible victory for team captain Ashley Riot and his squad is a match against The Deathbat Republic (No. 190).

Despite the difficult draw and almost certain outcome of an early exit, Riot and his mates seemed mentally prepared to face the ups and downs that come with the World Cup. And, no other team can speak about low moments like Assegai can. Especially after getting completely demolished in three horrible losses in the last World Cup that set and broke records, including a 1-10 drubbing that now stands as the all-time mark.

“That was the worst,” said Riot at a press roundtable earlier in the week. “Everything you have learned... All your accomplishments... All the training and hard work.. After such a complete annihilation, it all means nothing to you. I felt numb. Callo Merlose felt numb. We all felt numb. You can’t exactly go hide somewhere or act like it didn’t happen because it’s everywhere.”

However, Riot added that he was proud of his team’s resiliency despite the nightmare results. This time around, the team is depending on a corps of players who have honed their skills in leagues abroad.

“At the last World Cup, we already had some players overseas at Elves Security Forces, but this time around we have players at E.S.F., Fort Europe and Demot,” said Assegai keeper Callo Merlose smiling. “By expanding our resources we’re becoming a more efficient and tighter squad and we hope that translates into better results on the World Cup stage.”

Still, some members of the team remains feisty.

“I don’t care who we’re facing,” said forward Severus Snape coyly. “We’re not backing down from anyone. If we enter the field with the mentality that we’re going to play not to lose, that will kill us. Every time we hit the field we know we can win.”

Article by Mikaela Eyre, Staff Writer

Welcome all to the MArceau Scehdule and World Cup Prieview Presser
Accueillir tout au MArceau Scehdule et à Prieview de Coupe Du Monde plus qui Appuie

Marceau is happy to be involved in this world cup and as such our Qualifing group is Group 14 along side with in order of Highest Ranked to Lowest-
Marceau est heureux être impliqué dans cette coupe du monde et comme tel notre groupe de Qualifing est le Groupe 14 le long du côté avec dans l'ordre de plus Haut Classé au plus Bas-
The Archregimancy 16th,Errinundera 31rst,Green Wombat 46th,Us,Dumania 110th, and The Gold TyGrr 178th Leaving us with a decent shot at Qualification it definitly won't be an easy road but non the less not a group of deathPartir nous avec un coup décent à la Qualification il ne sera pas définiment une route facile mais non le moins pas un groupe de mort

With all this said let's take a look at our Schedule for Qualification
Avec tout ceci dit jetons un coup d'oeil sur notre Plan pour la Qualification

Marceau State's WC XXXII Schedule:
Colonial Cup-@ #51 Rorysville
MD1: @ #16 The Archregimancy
MD2: v #110 Dumania
MD3: v #31 Errinundera
MD4: @#178 The Gold TyGrr
MD5: @#46 Green Wombat
Colonial Cup-v #51 Rorysville
MD6: v #16 The Archregimancy
MD7: @ #110 Dumania
MD8: @ #31 Errinundera
MD9: v#178 The Gold TyGrr
MD10: v#46 Green Wombat
Colonial Cup- @ #51 Rorysville

All Games will be Broadcasted on Sportsnet Marceau as well as Sportsnational the official all french Sports network of Marceau State
Tous Jeux Seront Diffusés sur Sportsnet Marceau de même que Sportsnational l'officier que tout français Arbore le réseau d'Etat de Marceau

The 3 Colonial Cup Games Between Marceau and Rorysville will be contested over the course of Qualification the Best of three Cup is highly regaurd as the finest international friendly tournament between two nations Rorysville took the last cup hence thier two home games to Marceau's one all those games will be broadcast on MBC and CNM as well as RVAC in Rorysville
Les 3 Jeux Coloniaux de Tasse Entre Marceau et Rorysville seront contestés au cours de la Qualification le Meilleur de trois Tasse est extrêmement regaurd comme le plus beau tournoi amical international entre deux Rorysville de nations a pris la dernière tasse donc thier deux jeux de maison à Marceau un tous ces jeux seront diffusés sur MBC et CNM de même que RVAC dans Rorysville

As for Our Predictions for Group 14
Quant à Nos Prédictions pour le Groupe 14
Rank-Nation(W-D-L-PTS)
1-The Archregimancy(5-0-1-15)
2-Green Wombat(4-1-1-13)
3-Errinundera(3-2-1-11)
4-Marceau State(3-1-2-10)
5-Dumania(2-2-2-8)
6-The Gold TyGrr(0-1-5-1)
Marsille Larouch-I'll say the three Marceau wins will be against Green Wombat,and Gold TyGrr Twice with the draw against Dumania
Marsille Larouch-je dirai que le trois Marceau gagne sera contre le Wombat Vert, et TyGrr en or deux fois avec le dessine contre Dumania
Gilles Guillemet-Fair Enough now I actually think Marceau will win four with wins against Dumania and Gold TyGrr and a pair of draws against Errinundera and Green Wombat
Gilles Guillemet-Foire de branchies Assez maintenant je pense en fait que Marceau gagnera quatre avec gagne contre Dumania et TyGrr en or et une paire de dessine contre Errinundera et le Wombat Vert
Dan Brillson-Well both of you as biased as you are painted a reasonable picture I much like Gilles say four wins with the four comming against Gold TyGrr and Dumania and a upset win against the Archregimancy ad\nd a pair of draws against Dumania and Errinundera
Dan Brillson-Bien vous deux comme a prévenu comme vous êtes peint une image raisonnable je beaucoup de comme les Branchies dit que quatre gagnent avec le quatre comming contre TyGrr et Dumania en or et un vexé gagne contre l'annonce de Archregimancy\nd une paire de dessine contre Dumania et Errinundera

see you at the start of Qualification
vous voir au début de Qualification

QAZOXIAN TIMES

What a difference 4 years makes. Four years ago, Qazox was one of the best team not to qualify for the World Cup, and now, they are among the 30 best teams in the world. 4 years ago, the Black Oxen were 15-1 shots just to qualify, now they are one of the favorites in Group 7.

Here is Qazox' Schedule and our predictions for each game:

MD1: Rorysville
MD2: @ The New Hypocria
MD3: @ Krytenia
MD4: Haraki
MD5: Schnabo
MD6: @ Rorysville
MD7: The New Hypocria
MD8: Krytenia
MD9: @ Haraki
MD10: @ Schnabo

Our Predictions: 2 wins over Schnabo and The New Hypocria, win and a draw agaist Haraki, Win and a loss vs Rorysville and a draw and a loss to Krytenia. Predcited Overall Record: 6-2-2 20pts, 2nd in group.

And Overall in the group:
1- Krytenia
2- QAZOX
3- Rorysville
4- Haraki
5- Schnabo
6- The New Hypocria

Tommorrow we'll preview the other 14 groups and post the results of QSPN.com's polls on World Cup 32.

SATIVAVILLE STONER
You Bring the Noise, We'll Bring the Funk

Sativaville (52)
Stromboland (176)
Backwardistan (77)
Noremark (109)
Spruitland (20)
Rejistania (13)

Tough group with two top notch teams in Rejistania and Spruitland, but the othe 4 teams we should have little trouble with. The team to watch out for is Backwardistan, who do to their unusual style of play could spring an upset or two.

Joe Gurt looked at the fax he had just recieved from a visibly shaken assistant.

GROUP 14:
Errinundera (31)
The Archregimancy (16)
The Gold TyGrr (178)
Green Wombat (46)
Marceau State (55)
Dumania (110)

'Hmm.. only one truly Great team, those %&^%^ Monks. But I think they will be scared of us, hell I hope that we send them all to meet their God. Lets see, Errinundera, a bunch of tree-huggers.. easy pickings. and as for the other 3 teams who the $^%$ is Dumania or the Gold TyGrr? nobodys. Hmmm. Marceau State.. I wonder if mimes can bleed?' Joe muttered to himself as he reed the fax.

Then a bone chilling laugh filled the room as The Jester walked in and promptly took the fax and read it himself.

"So.. Jester what do you think?" Asked Joe Gurt, readying his knife in case he didn't like the answer.

"Looks like I'm going to have lots of fun. Heeeeeee-Hoooo- Heeee- HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa!!!!!" came the reply.

"Not only you.. but for all of us! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" laughed back Joe as they began to prepare for fun.

Cuation seek Friendlies

The World Cup will soon start and Cuation seek two opponents to face off before the qualifiers and half way through, home or away. A tough draw if you’re a top team looking to test yourselves or an underdog that wishes to give your side some experience, any applications welcome.

The draw has been made and the schedule fixed but the press have been kept in the dark by the Cuation FA. Instead we will look at how things have changed since the last qualification campaign with Seletarakeledira Hanselijimijile, or as the fans say SH, was taking charge of his second Cuation world cup campaign.

It did not look like it would be a happy attempt, SH had taken an experienced team to third place in the group but had been thirteen points behind second place. The mainstays of the team retired and Cuation had slid to 48th in the world, a gradual decline that had started under previous manager Jude Takerath's reign.

SH took an inexperienced, at this level, team and decided to form it as his natural defensive urges told him too, a defensive counter attacking game which would rely on the proven skills of the attacking players like Lu Fei, Fallen and Rual while SH concentrated on forming a tight defensive unit.

Drawn in a tough group containing, New Montreal States, Tadjikistan, Becquerelia and Haraki, three qualification spots were open. Outside the islands, Cuation were backed to go through but inside, it was felt that it would be midtable and SH had to be given time.

SH pulled off a master stroke, playing 4-5-1 against big teams and 4-4-2 against the little teams, Cuation lost its inconstancy and its traditional dip in form. Only NMS played near its potential and Cuation pushed them all the way for top spot before finishing second. The backline conceded a mere twelve goals to make them the meanest defence in the world.

Cuation failed to get past the first round despite collecting four points, scoring in only one match and conceding seven with Jude Tanner looking shaky shows that the team has much to learn. Still now there is expectation and delight whenever the team play as reflected in Cuation's place in the world, 26th.

Not all however is going well, Jude Tanner's only recently started to recover his confidence and form after being heavily criticized by the media. His stock was high after qualification but viewed as the star player, he played badly. Did he fail to cope with the pressure or was he just exposed as not world class? It is widely held that only a lack of contenders for number one spot keeps Jude in the side.

Up front, Rual and Keane have fallen out all over the papers. Rual has always had an ego problem but his poor performance in qualification saw him dropped and the formation changed but Keane just can not get a regular run in the side. Keane feels hard done by and let it be well known, Rual unwisely responded and SH now has two unhappy players on his hands.

James Gaines went over to his desk, It was eerily clear, apart from one piece of Paper. Maybe the reason why is that domestic leagues for the year had ended or his ever vigilant secretary had given this document the importance it needed. Either way, the only thing on his desk where the group draws.... James didn't even realised that the group draw had already been done. Though he wasn't there he knew there where some types of shenanigans that went on during it.

Now onto the groups... Group one... no Bazalopes but the New Montreal States ... paladin's ... where taking number 6, Numbers 27 and 36. Turori and Cataduanes. Turori would be their only real contenter against them. A relatively easy group for them.

Group 2...

An easy Win for Bedistan in this group too... I mean closest opposition is Nedalia and Demot, 32 and 43 respectively, Though who is the 2nd team is anyone's guess.

Group 3... Ooo, there's us... What we face the Squornshelous Psychoes?! Heh, If I was a suspicious person I'd go rigged considering number 1 against number 18... though I suppose the top 1st seed against the 2nd 2nd seed is not that much of a rigging, others have much harder matchups then us. I think We can probably sneek a win against the Psychoes, for a Squorn/Baz Qualification, Aurendia might cause some problems but I doubt it I mean... 38 against 18. well okay we are against number 1, but I think we should still be able to handle these guys, everyone else should just be cannon fodder easily dispatched

Group 4, Liverpool England and NC, *should* have an easy time here, though just as with anysport it's how well you play on the day. I wonder exactly how many of my predictions will come true? Race Track? Aren't they some sort of nation that is made up of a race track and an Airport? Where the heck do they practice for soccer, Well, I suppose BazAir might want to talk to them.

Group 5(OOC: Yes, I know this is Group 6), QuakMyBush and Bettia, 21 and 15 respectively that should be an interesting tussle and Raging Penguins, I'm not even sure if they would be able to come to Bazalonia if , but either way as far as I know all their violence etc has been directed internally... I think...

Group 6, huh? I already looked at those, oh wait... I skipped a group,,, QuakmyBush and Bettia are in Group 6 and what's Group Five? Cuation, Commerce Heights, god, Those Slani Capitalists... hehe, Anyway, bad joke aside, UCS's SLani league should, As always, do well. and Cuation, I think there may have been an incident when we didn't know which way was up and can't remember, don't look like they have any real opposition....

Group 7, The Kryties should have it fairly easily, Qazox the ox-worshiping soccer players seem to be out on their own between Krytenia and everyone else below them, unless teams below them pull a few decent upsets Qazox should be able to qualify

Group 8, Rejistania and Spruit... bah done it again.... That's group 9, So, once again Group 8, Arridia and Spaam, ooo Another close 1st and 2nd seed, that should be fun, Though I think Tynelia might just have something to say and knock one of these guys out of Qualification.

Group 9 Spruitland and Rejistania should take the qualification spots fairly easily, as to who is first, That's too close to tell, Saitaville may just be able to help decide though...

Group 10, Oliverry, should be able to make it fairly easily though Lowland Clans should be able to squeeze ahead of Wentland for the 2nd Qualification spot. Stupid Frenchies....

Group 11, hehe, Got those mice, It was odd that they just dissappeared from AO, well actually not that odd, but now they are in Heartland but I have no idea why... anyway back to think about soccer, Casari should make it easily, and D2R probably has a slight chance against The Qutaris and those mice will probably help decide but won't really have a good chance on their own, but I suppose you should look at what happened to Az-Cz... unknowns into the Ro16 last cup.

Group 12, Jerusalem, Vilita and ASMV all have chances to qualify though I suppose I guess I'd go for Jerusalem, simply because they would blow their opposition away and well I think they look cool. And ASMV, well, I suppose about the Carrington thing... I wonder why those insane Rightists blew it up, anyway. Im glad that the team was away and Atheistic Right is no more.

Group 13, Fmjpheonix and Schiavonia... Those damn Schiavones started at the same time as us... Well,I suppose we've caught up with them now, being ranked 18th and all, but still They are the top seed in their group while we are the 2nd seed against a really tough opponent. Well, I suppose ESF might cause a problem bu, to be honest, I really can't see it... FMj and Schia to progress..

Group 14, Argh, I just can't be bothered now... I'll go with The Golden TyGerr and Marceau State simply because I like their names... gah, I'm mentally exhausted...

Group 15, Yeah Az-Cz and Starblaydia... of course, There we go.

James put down the List that he had been pondering not speaking a word "Has Gould printed anything about the draw so far?" he bellowed to his secretaru

"Nope", replied the secretary, OH and this letter from.." said the secretary before she got interupted... "Just tell me what it is about." said James... "A letter wanting a friendly between the Bazalopes...." "Tell them we accept and organise BazAir to get them there."

"Oh, God, I sound like and advertisment for Baz Road & Air.... And I've got that interview on Baz FM too soon. This is going to be one long day."

The National's guide to the qualification for World Cup 32

The Coach: Asaikivelemanakere Ralaseletikivenemaratede has never coached a national team before. He is seleken and insists on using this language to address the press. He is also very takilan and plans to play a 3-4-3 formation. This means we can expect many goals in the matches. We can only hope that most are no conceded but scored goals. Currently, this graphic is floating on the net, it is supposed to show the name of the coach in seleken. http://i86.photobucket.com/albums/k117/SystemKarela/seleken.png

The team: A lot of new players start in this qualification. After the disastrous world cups before, we can only hope that players like Linux Aseru, Vik Milhe~r and Ka~nsu Kansu make the long-awaited difference.

The group: Why add this at all, our readers have no idea about geography -ed. The Orange-Blues are in a group with many unknown teams. Not much is known about the soccer of Noremark, Stromboland or natsidrawkcaB.

Group 9:
Sativaville (52)
Stromboland (176)
Backwardistan (77)
Noremark (109)
Spruitland (20)
Rejistania (13)

The odds:
Rejistanian bokies assume the Orange-Blues qualify. If you bet on a failure, you can earn lots of money: 5jeo for 1ky lil'kansu invested. Currently Spruitland has the highest odds to finish first.

"Group Thirteen. Unlucky... Literally." Said Callum Smithson, eagerly wearing his new national home kit but now deep in thought with a newspaper in his hands.


The head of Michael Hayden, a fellow Defender, peered around to look at the front page. "Hey, what's this about the Governments new cloning policy?"


"Cloning doesn't matter." Said a depressed Brian Hunter "The fact of the matter is that we're pretty boned."


"My people have a saying for times like this. Let me know what it is if you find it out." Said a yawning Antonio Reyes.


"Wool fluff, we've as good-a chance as any." Proclaimed the Captain, Brett Starr. "Eighteen years of football, two proffesionally, have taught me that it's not over untill it's over."


"And something tells me you don't know what's so unlucky about the number thirteen." Said Tony Faddon, still in golfing gear from the game he was playing before he was called up to the meeting.


At that point in time the Manager and Assistant Manager entered the room, Lucius Andrews and Barton Carr.


"Let's examine the facts." Said Lucius Andrews. The room fell silent.


"Elves Security Forces. A far larger nation than ours, we are truely midgets among giants, thrown straight into the deep end. I love it. The ESF's greatest achievements were a second place finish in the Cup of Harmony. back to back Assegai Invitationals and third in the Fort Europe Galaxy Cup. Currently ranked forty-fifth in the major rankings, they are the third most prominent team in our group."


"So... We'll be lucky to pull a draw?" Said Leon Corbet.


"You'll be lucky to be in the team if you keep talking like that, Leon." Said Lucuis sternly. "We'll comment on them when we get to them."


"Meanwhile we don't know much about Harlesburg. Only that they have failed to qualify for the World Cup numerous times and seeing their record, this World Cup may be no different. They're ranked at eighty in the major rankings so despite their record, they still may pose a challenge." said Barton Carr.


"No problem guys. No problem." Said first choice Goalkeeper Anton Liberkine.


Flint Wurst rolled his eyes.


"Also, there's weakest ranked team in our group, Bostopia. If anything we have more of a chance of pulling a win against them than we do elsewhere. I think the most recent World Cup they were in was twenty-nine, so they could be rusty on the international level." Continued Barton Carr.


"But..." Said Ian Nielson knowing what was coming next.


"There are big players in this group. Fmjphoenix is ranked number twenty-two, they failed to qualify for the last World Cup but reached the quarter-finals in the 30th World Cup. They are dangerous and it's going to take all our tactics, finesse and skill to beat them." Said Lucius Andrews.


"This is going to be tense." Said Santo Cainos.


"I agree. I just hope I get to play them." Said Lysander Chesley.


"But that's not the hardest team." Said Callum Smithson looking at the newspaper.


Lucius Andrews gulped.


"No.. The best team in our group is Schiavonia."


There was a mixture of excitement and acknowledgement of the fact they wouldn't likely win.


"Hang on, they didn't get out of the Group stages in the last World Cup." Said the ever positive Brian Lovett.


"Yeah but did you see their points total in the qualifiers?" Brian Hunter began "They scored SIXTY-FOUR goals in just eighteen games, of which they won fifteen."


"And it wasn't as much of a lightweight group like ours." Said Dante Ryane grimly "They had top teams like Az-Cz, Registania and Tynelia."


"Guys. Shut up." Said Al Red "We're playing Schiavonia. We should be happy we're playing a top team, if we played all rubbish ones and by some miracle won the World Cup we wouldn't deserve it then. No, I think... We're going to have fun playing them."


Then an Assistant walked into the room and handed Lucius a fax that just came through. Lucius muttered a "Thank you" to the Assistant and the Assistant left. Lucius Andrews face lit up. Barton Carr peered over his shoulder.


"Team.. We're playing Bostopia first. Let's show 'em what the Holy Empire can do!"


There was a roar of cheering and players high-fived each other.


"Our schedule is as follows..


We have room for a Friendly before the first matchday.

Matchday 1 - Bostopia at Home
Matchday 2 - Elves Security Forces at their end
Matchday 3 - Harlesburg at Home
Matchday 4 - Fmjphoenix at Home
Matchday 5 - Schiavonia Away

Then room for a friendly

Matchday 6 - Bostopia Away
Matchday 7 - Elves Security Forces at Home
Matchday 8 - Harlesburg Away
Matchday 9 - Fmjphoenix Away
Matchday 10 - Schiavonia at Home

Then room for a friendly."


"Oh wow! I mean.. Wow! Bostopia at Home, our best chance and with our nation cheering us on this has to be fate!" Exclaimed Gary Steele with excitement.


"This is brilliant." Said Brett Starr "As soon as I get home I'm gunna start watching matches of Bostopia to prepare myself. Representing my country in the stadium of my own team will be brilliant."


"I'd better watch any footage of them taking penalty's I guess." Said Anton Liberkine.


The only one who didn't seem excited was Husaam Khuzaymah, who was biting his thumbnail. He hadn't showed any emotion the whole time.


"Well, I've got a media cnference shortly." Said Lucius Andrews looking at his watch. "Barton, can you send an open invitation fax to any nations that wish to have a Friendly against us?"


Barton Carr nodded.


Lucius Andrews decided to say one last thing before leaving.


"Well, good luck to all of you. I know we won't let New Propagandia down. Be back here tommorrow to get ready for training. Make me proud, boys!"

John Jerk, the Jeruselem coach knocked on this daughters door. "Oi, it's Dad here Dazza. Open up." he said. A smiling Dazza in towels opened the door "Hey Dad. What's up". She was 26 but still liked calling using Dad instead of John. She had moved out of Debbie's place with Finn into his place as her sister's place was too crowded with the parents and her sister's huge family. She had her own kids and the place had no more room. John's wife Daria was the same age as her and they were like sisters almost as well. Daria liked kids and babysat Dazza's kids when she was away.

Dazza looked the list she was given. "The group draw - interesting Dad. We know almost everyone there.". John nodded and Finn popped in "Group draw? Who?".

Group 12:
Anastasiania (65)
Vilita (33)
Jeruselem (10)
Commerce Heights JSY (89)
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (35)
The Great Monty Python (UR)


Dazza said "Well, we have them cool cats Vilita! 33th seed and our biggest thread. We're ranked 10th. And then Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, them dragons again. Ranked 35th. Oh look Anastasiania from the Women's World cup, ranked 65th and then Commerce Heights JSY, ranked a lowly 89th. 89th, I think it's a puppet of Commerce Heights! Then some team called The Great Monty Python, unranked."

Finn looked "Looks OK to me, I guess we have to watch Vilita and ... err ... the Sea Dragons. I can never say that name. Monty Python, weird."

John said "Well, I've got Nedalia's group too Dazza. You will need to know when you do the FOOTBALL LIFE".

Group 2:
Bedistan (3)
Nedalia (32)
Sel Appa (81)
Florida Oranges (UR)
Algal States (141)
Demot (43)

Dazza burst out laughing "Nedalia paired with Bedistan AGAIN. I can't believe it - it's happened so many times". Finn was puzzled "Again? They must be cursing themselves." John shook his head "Poor Nedalia. At least we avoided that team - you know which one."

Dazza "Hey guys, where's the kids?". Finn said "Watching a movie" and John said "And it's The Lion King ...". Dazza burst out laughing again.

Playing Spaam… again?

The Rouge-et-Noirs are preparing for the new challenge of World Cup 32, still coached by Evgheny Melenciuc, and still captained by Hanifah Kyaw ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Hanifah_Kyaw), now 34 years old. Kyaw has played exactly one hundred international matches so far, and by the end of this Cup will have beaten the standing record of the so-called “new” team, held by the now retired Ta I (107 caps).

There are, as always, new faces, but the starting eleven contains skilled and recognisable players such as Kyaw, Tadjou Senaya ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Tadjou_Sheyi_Senaya) (who lives most of the year with his family in Rejistania), Xavier Xu ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Xavier_Xu) and Ke Sho. The team has also welcomed attacker Najmah Majrashi, who until now had played exclusively for the women’s international squad.

Many still play in Ariddia and lack international club experience, but four of these players (Xavier Xu, John Cohen, Ke Sho and Cassie Lee) have benefited from the ubhashinim scholarship, which has enabled them to receive high quality training in Ellery Camp, Errinundera – an opportunity they have expressed much gratitude for.

Four years ago, the media’s focus had been on Indigenous “wild boy” Ke Sho ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ke_Sho), aged 17 at the time, who had grown up in an isolated Indigenous community, spoke only his native Wymgani, and sometimes appeared in public wearing only traditional patanja-leaf wrappers round his waist and thighs, displaying the body painting on his arms and torso. Sho, now aged 21 and a member of the starting eleven, has not been forgotten by the media, but a new and younger face has grabbed national and international attention: “Princess” Cassie Lee ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Cassie_Lee), also known as “Twinkle”.

Lively and enthusiastic, 19 years of age, “cute as buttons” Lee is the team’s third goalkeeper. But much of the buzz is due to her status as a member of a foreign royal house. Her grandmother is an Uhuh-Ropean baroness, and Cassie herself is (at last available count) 117th in line of succession to the throne of Uhuh-Ropa. Hardly a key member of Uhuh-Ropa’s royal household, but the first time Ariddia has a member of the nobility on its football team nonetheless.

Lee, however, is anything but pretentious, and, as her team mate Eo La puts it, “We all love her to bits”.

Ariddia has been drawn in Group 8 for the qualifying stages, and is the top seed (ranked 9th in the world). Just behind them are opponents they know well: Spaam (19th).

“It’ll be nice to play against Spaam again,” Kyaw said. “Over our past encounters, we’ve scored five goals each against each other, and we’ve won as often as we’ve lost. It’s time to sort out which of us is better!” she added, laughing.

Ariddia has played Dorian & Sonya twice before (1-0-1), and has scored three goals to Dorian and Sonya’s one.

“We’re confident, but we’re not ever going to under-estimate them,” Melenciuc said. “We’re also pleased for the opportunity to travel there.”

The Rouge-et-Noirs will be facing their other three opponents - The Deathbat Republic, Assegai Developments and Tynelia – for the first time.

Fort Boston Castle, Fort Boston, Bostopia

Emperor Boston was sat at his desk reading the back page of the Bostopia Mail, scrutinising the World Cup Qualifications Group draw, specifically Group 13. His Aide, Haelwen, is just walking into the room.

[Boston] This is NOT good.
[Haelwen] Christine's credit card statement, sire?
[Boston] No, that was yesterday, remember, I threw her new hangbag out of the window and it hit that cat.
[Haelwen] Ah yes, you do love the smell of flying leather in the morning.
[Boston] ...quite. Anyway, look, we have two top 25 teams in our group! Schiavonia at 14 and Fmjphoenix at 22! The other teams don't seem too bad though, the closest team to us though is Harlesburg, ranked 80th. And having an un-ranked team in the group, well, that should be 6 points.
[Haelwen] Don't be too hasty though, sire, while we were unranked we still drew 2 - 2 away at Liverpool England in WC29 qualifying, and also beat Qazox.
[Boston] Which points to us having a strong team!
[Haelwen] Which has aged 4 years!
[Boston] Ah, fair point. What're we looking at then, a mid-table performance?
[Haelwen] Possibly, but any team only needs to string a few wins, throw a couple of draws in and a dash of luck for good measure to get through though.
[Boston] Not forgetting the cordial of course.
[Haelwen] Right.
[Boston] Anyway, how's the capital set for the qualifying games?
[Haelwen] The Bostopia Stadium's all suited and booted for the games, sire, and the transport network's pretty good. The underground City Centre ring road works wonders, not to mention the underground tube lines.
[Boston] Wonderful.
[Haelwen] Are we looking at taking any friendlies though sire? The Channel 9's reporting the organisers are looking at friendlies.
[Boston] I'm Emperor, Haelwen, not National Team manager. Don't start giving me ideas above my station...yes ok we'll have friendlies if people want any. Why don't you go prepare a memo and send it to every nation in the World Cup?
[Haelwen] Right away, sire...
[Boston] And send a ham to that cat would you?

Spindomia Telegraph

World Cup Draw Made

WC XXXII Qualifying Group 10
Tocapa (103)
The Lowland Clans (23)
Spindomia (72)
Voskadouria (UR)
Oliverry (4)
Wentland (42)


Last time round Spindomia made huge steps in the right direction, going from a battle to not finish bottom to getting up with the big boys. This time Spindomia have drawn in Group 10. Difficult, but not impossible.

Oliverry and Lowland Clans should go through according to the stats, but football isn't played on paper and the side led by Chez Clarke should be looking to make an upset in one of the 4 games against these teams. If all goes well, then maybe more than one.

Wentland are an interesting prospect. Ranked a whole 30 places above the Reds of Spindomia, they should easily win. Despite this huge rank difference, this must be a team Spindomia will really want to beat. Having beaten the higher ranked likes of Qazox and Quakmybush last time round, Wentland could be the one we go after.

Tocapa and Voskadouria are not to be underestimated. Remember playing Assegai Developments and Esseck last time round? Losses to both of them despite being higher ranked. These could pose a threat, but should be put away.

It should be noted that for the first time in 4 qualification campaigns, Spindomia have not been drawn with former world #1 Starblaydia

Predicted Final Tables
Optimistic - Spindomia play well

Oliverry
Lowland Clans
Spindomia
Wentland
Tocapa
Voskadouria

Spindomia Play OK
Oliverry
Lowland Clans
Wentland
Spindomia
Tocapa
Voskadouria

Spindomia play badly
Oliverry
Lowland Clans
Wentland
Tocapa
Spindomia
Voskadouria

We will have full coverage here at The Telegraph, with match reports, interviews and, for the first time, an online service at SpindomianTelegraph.co.sp.

All games are live on SBC 1 and TVS Sports 2!

“Hello soccer fans. Welcome to Tynelian Soccer Weekly’s World Cup 32 preview as Tynelia makes its sixth try at advancing into the Cup proper for the first time. I’m Mike McPhee along with Dana Lee. While many have turned away from the sport after coming so close only to fall short on the last day the true faithful are still here right Dana?”

“I certainly hope so Mike, according to the latest polls after peaking at 5th a few years back, soccer has now slipped to 26th in the nation behind such sports as badminton, canoeing and Frisbee in the nations’s eyes.”

“Well success should solve all the problems. This Cup is a bit different than most wouldn’t you say Dana? I think this is the smallest ever round of group play since Tynelia has been part of the World Cup.”

“Yes it is by far the smallest, in fact recent Cups of Harmony have had groups nearly this big but this might work in Tynelia’s favor Mike.”

“How do you see that Dana?”

“Well as long time suffering fans know, the team usually takes three or four matchdays off from scoring at the end of the first half of group play after getting everyone’s hopes up. In most Cups this has begun around MD9 or so but by that time the traditional nosedive will only affect the last two matchdays. One of which is against the bottom seed in the group so we might at least get a draw out of that one. On the other hand there’s no room for error as a slow start will doom anyone given very little recovery time.”

“So how does the group look to you then Dana?”

“This reminds me a bit of WC30 where Starblaydia and Bettia had a clear edge over us at the third seed and no team below us that looked to threaten either of the top two. Arridia at number 8 and Spaam at number 19 is nearly as tough as that duo and with only two teams advancing those are the ones we have to worry most about. On the other hand Dorian and Sonya will no doubt be looking to rebound after a poor showing last World Cup so they could very well surprise a few people ahead of them before things are done.”

“What about The Deathbat Republic and Assegai Developments Dana? You don’t think one of these teams will jump up and take the other Tynelian tradition of a sub 100th ranked team that we can’t beat either at home or on the road?”

“I think AD is clearly the choice for that role Mike. D&S is too good to be given that title and AD is right around that rank of team Tynelia runs into trouble against.”

“So I guess what I can gather from all this is that we won’t be making any World Cup reservations this time around either?”

“I’m afraid not, too many bad traditions need to be broken here for Tynelia to move on. I expect us to continue in yet another tradition of finishing pretty much exactly where we get seeded at in the group and barely hold off D&S for third place behind Spaam and Arridia. Who wins the matches between those two will most likely end up with the group win.”
“I think you’re being a bit pessimistic there Dana, after all Spaam did have one of the biggest underwhelming efforts two Cups ago where the finished almost last in their group. Who’s to say it can’t happen again?”

“Yes they did Mike but you’ll noticed they rebounded to make the Cup both times since. It was almost as if that finish served as a wakeup call. No Mike no one is going to fall on their faces this time out, except maybe us.”

“How about some optimism there Dana? We haven’t even started yet.”

“Optimism Mike? Listen, between this studio and my on field reporting I’ve been around for every last one of Tynelia’s World Cup tries and seen the team fall short again and again. I feel bad for Jay Masterson, scored more than anyone else in Tynelia’s Cup history and here he is hanging around when he should have retired years ago just to get one more shot at the Cup itself. The man has to be frustrated by all the failures so far and I feel for the guy. For his sake I hope the team moves on so he doesn’t come crawling back for yet another try at age 46 on bad knees. We’re the only two who know what this is like from day 1 when everyone was optimistic, the game was new and fun. Look at it now. Freaking badminton is ranked ahead of soccer now! People are sick of losing. This is worse than our curling squads failing to get out of group play in the last two Olympics and curling’s our national sport! We’re becoming an international sporting joke here Mike!”

“Easy there Dana I…”

“Don’t you ‘easy Dana’ me! I mean have you looked at the ratings for the league championships? It barely even registered! The stadium wasn’t even full! This is…..”

<screen goes blank, the sound is cut off and a message appears on everyone’s TV screens>

“WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAND BY.”

"Well butter my buns and call me a biscuit!"

It was a strange little outburst, and one that caught the attention of FAB secretary Geraint Fforde, for it came from his normally timid and soft-spoken assistant Charlotte.

"What is it Charly?"

"We've just had the WC32 fixtures faxed through to us from the World Cup Committee."

"Yes. And?"

"We're top seeds in our group!"

"Excellent!" he replied, rubbing his hands in glee. "So this'll be an easy-win group for the Aroras then, right?"

"I wouldn't say that sir. The second seeds are rather interesting."

"Oh yes? And who might they be?"

"Quakmybush!"

"Smack your what?!"

"No you twat - Quakmybush. They're only just behind us in the world rankings. And to make matters worse, we've gotta go there on the last matchday."

"Oh shite... now that could be tricky. Either that or we'll be spurred on by the challenge and put seven past them, just like we did against Vilita!"

"Yes... well, that was four NS-years ago, and I don't see that happening again, do you?"

"No, no..." Geraint said, shaking his head. "Well then, let's see the fixture list."

"Sure thing. I've pencilled in our home venues too. Ain't I clever?"


Fixtures (Home games in CAPITALS)

MD01: Alexandrian Ptolemais
MD02: RAGING PENGUINS (Alice Street, Butetown)
MD03: Ropa-Topia
MD04: Choobie International
MD05: QUAKMYBUSH (Tiddles Park, Gabalfa)
MD06: ALEXANDRIAN PTOLEMAIS (Ravenhill Park, Lorshill)
MD07: Raging Penguins
MD08: ROPA-TOPIA (Heol Angharad, Ceffinton)
MD09: CHOOBIE INTERNATIONAL (Al-Fath Stadium, Sukatra)
MD10: Quakmybush


"Yes, quite."

World Cup 32 - Rordia Update

THE STORY SO FAR
Rordia's first World Cup qualifying campaign was in WC25, when they finished bottom of their group. They came so close to qualifying for WC26, finishing just two points off 2nd place. They also missed out on reaching the finals of WC27.
Their most memorable campaign to date came in World Cup 28. They shocked the then champions Bedistan 1-0, and went on to finish 4th in Group 1. But since then, Rordia have been in serious decline. They came 2nd-bottom of their group in WC29, and 4th in WC30. And in the last World Cup - WC31 - Rordia literally hit rock bottom.
This fall from grace has also had a negative impact on the domestic game. Crowds have dwindled, several clubs have gone bankrupt, and top-class players are hard to come by. The women's game has become more popular, and the Rordettes are hopeless as well!

The man charged with reviving Rordia's fortunes is new boss Alex Cooper. The 47-year-old has led Eisenhower to two consecutive league titles, and before that led three clubs to promotion to the top flight. Cooper knows that he has it all to do if Rordia are to return to their best.
Cooper said: "We've been asleep for a while, and now it's time for us to wake up. Rordia should not be at the bottom of their group. They should be challenging the bigger teams for a qualifying berth. If we can get a string of good results together, then challenging for a finals spot could very well be on the cards.
"We need to perform, not just for our sake, but for the sake of the domestic game. The Rordian game is in a crisis that needs to be sorted out. And if we don't perform, then most of our fans will lose confidence forever, and we'll fall into even further decline."
Cooper will not announce his squad until later on in the week. But he has admitted that most of the players who took part in WC31 will not be picked.

Rordia have been given a tough qualifying group, and they'll have a mountain to climb if they are to make it to Geisenfried and Milchama. They are in Group 3 alongside Bazalonia, Aurendia, Kericia, Anrow, and the reigning champions Squornshelous. On paper, it looks like Rordia will be fighting it out with Anrow for the group's wooden spoon.
The Rordians start off with a home tie against Aurendia before travelling to Anrow and then Bazalonia.

FIXTURES:
MD1 - Aurendia (H)
MD2 - Anrow (A)
MD3 - Bazalonia (A)
MD4 - Kericia (H)
MD5 - Squornshelous (H)
MD6 - Aurendia (A)
MD7 - Anrow (H)
MD8 - Bazalonia (H)
MD9 - Kericia (A)
MD10 - Squornshelous (A)

OUR GROUP:

Group 11:
Casari (8)
The Mice of Miceland (58)
Dance 2 Revolution (44)
Cafundeu (104)
Seckland (UR)
The Islands of Qutar (17)

After the staff saw the group... silence. Some people were crying and others were disappointed. The coach started to talk with the federation's president:

BRADDOCK - Er, are you happy with this?
MAKAS - Look at my face and you'll see if I'm happy.
BRADDOCK - You don't look happy. I know that all the groups of the World Cup are very difficult for a newcomer country, but this in particular seems more difficult than we were expecting.
MAKAS - Of course, you expect only the best things, we need to get prepared for the worse ones.
BRADDOCK - Yes, you're right.
MAKAS - So, prepare your team and make them work hard...

After this short conversation, the CCFM showed the list of Cafundéu's fixtures to the press but didn't want to comment nothing with team, saying that he have no words to talk about that, and that they must wait for the beginning of the competition for some comments.

List of fixtures:

MD1: Dance 2 Revolution - Cafundeu
MD2: Cafundeu - The Mice of Miceland
MD3: The Islands of Qutar - Cafundeu
MD4: Casari - Cafundeu
MD5: Cafundeu - Seckland
MD6: Cafundeu - Dance 2 Revolution
MD7: The Mice of Miceland - Cafundeu
MD8: Cafundeu - The Islands of Qutar
MD9: Cafundeu - Casari
MD10: Seckland - Cafundeu

Also the places of the home games:

MD2: Obelisco Monumental, in Lasft. (cap. 80,000)
MD5: Toca do Tatu, in Central City. (cap. 55,000)
MD6: Presídio, in Carandirú City. (cap. 75,000)
MD8: Maracatu Arena, in Dunboor. (cap. 60,000)
MD9: Praça Maior, in Cafundó do Juta. (cap. 100,000)

Mikaela Eyre wiped a strand of her bright red hair from her face. The green-eyed beauty signaled the cameraman and she waited for her cue to begin...

“Assegai, the best to you and yours wherever you may be. This is Mikaela Eyre reporting live from the National Team’s training facility in the shadow of Cathedral Park at The Great Cathedral of Leá Monde. After a difficult time at the Cup of Harmony, longtime Assegai goalkeeper Callo Merlose was demoted from her starting position and replaced by Assegai Pro-League veteran Edward van de Beauchamp of A.C. Leá Monde.

“Despite the demotion, Merlose has remained positive and has been very supportive of van de Beauchamp, who, after putting together impressive numbers the last two APL seasons, finally attracted the attention of National Team Manager Sir Knight Edgard Zúniga.

“Zúniga’s decision didn’t come without some criticism, however. Many fans and pundits expressed their disappointment that long time National Team backup keeper Akihiko Yoshida, currently playing with Rinaldi Gunners of E.S.F.’s Elven Premier League, didn't get the nod. Yoshida’s current numbers place him second in that league, and many feel he deserved the starting spot after years of serving as Merlose’s crack backup. In fact, van de Beauchamp leapfrogged both Merlose and Yoshida into the starting spot, and since the team only carries two keepers at a time, Yoshida is effectively off the team for NS World Cup XXXII.

“Nonetheless, van de Beauchamp has been sharp in scrimmage games and has kept A.C. Leá Monde in the middle of the table despite crushing losses to stronger opponents.

“Well, without further delay, we have with us here, today, Assegai starting keeper Edward van de Beauchamp,” says Mikaela with a big smile as the tall, gangly fellow steps into view. “Must be nice to hear that after all you years in the APL, eh?”

“Goeiemorgen, Mikaela, and to the rest of Assegai as well,” he says enthusiastically. “To be honest, Mikaela, the title is meaningless if I don’t perform well. Callo is a tremendous keeper and the only reason I’m going to start on the field instead of her is because she had two bad games in the Cup of Harmony. She’s still the standard when it comes to Assegai goalkeeping.”

Mikaela nods. “Well, what about those who feel Yoshida is more deserving of the starting spot?”

Edward takes a deep breath and holds it for a bit pensively. “I have too much respect for Akihiko to comment on that other than he’s just as deserving of representing Assegai as much as Callo or me. Not being on the World Cup squad doesn’t take anything away from his tremendous skill and passion.”

“Remember the horrible results from Assegai’s jaunt to World Cup XXXI?” asks Mikaela. “You do realize that you’re pretty much going to face a firing squad against those higher ranked teams?”

Edward bites his lip and nods. “Yeah...I’m fully aware of that,” he says tightlipped. “I’m looking forward to that as much as a visit to the dentist. However, I know that if go out there with that mentality, it’ll only set us up for failure and that’s not the way I work. I’ll tell you this much, if anyone scores on me...they worked hard to earn that goal. No creampuffs!”

“What advice has Callo given you in preparation for this World Cup?” Mikaela asks.

“Well, she shared her experiences from the last World Cup and told me that you have to quickly grow a thick skin, lest you drown under a sea of goals,” he says. “That, and a few pointers as far as knowing what to look for against these sharp-shooting international strikers.”

“Well, Edward, it’s been a pleasure meeting you,” says Mikaela giving him a pat on the shoulder. “We look forward to seeing you in the World Cup. Good luck!”

Edward nods and gives her a hug before sauntering off.

“Assegai fans, this is Mikaela Eyre signing off. Have a wonderful day!”

The Mushroom Kingship (74)
The HURD (192)
New Montreal States (6)
Snub Nose 39 (122)
Turori (27)
Cataduanes (36)

Attention Cuation and Squornshelous!

Care to pop over to the Dome for a friendly?

Obligatory Group Prediction Article

Matches will be played, and goals scored. Some teams will prevail and earn the dubious distinction of going to *urk* Milchama to play in the finals. Others will not prevail, and we feel badly for them, as they are all good people and deserve better. But such is life.

And what will happen to the Paladins? We predict them to be shot by angry Milchamans upon arrival in that collective of barbarians loosely styled as a "country," followed by an all-out war between the two nations that will escalate into a regional conflict and end with AO a biologically and radioactively active wasteland and TKotM under occupation by forces from same. As always, good goalkeeping will be key.

The fax came through to every nation in the World Cup's football committee, those that didn't have fax machines found a messanger delievered it. When opened or printed the fax read:


"

AN OPEN INVITATION TO TAKE PART IN NEW PROPAGANDIAN HISTORY


The Holy Empire of New Propagandia cordially invites you to take part in history and have the chance to play New Propagandia at home, either in their first ever international match or in the avaliable friendly's during the qualifying season. The game's, should they happen, between your country and mine should be fun and entertaining and if televised will surely get the ratings in. All friendly game's will take place in the Capital city of New El Dorado in the grand 36, 000 seating stadium, the Victor Square. New Propagandia welcomes opposing teams with open arms.


On the subject of the Victor Square, here are a couple of pictures of it.

This is the monument at the entrance, it was built by the Daesans who lived in the land currently owned by New Propagandia long before the New Propagandians did. It was originally built to honour Besora, the Ruler of the Universe and God of Thunder according to Daesan mythology. Now it stands for athletic ability and bravery.

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f236/Medionsaturn/180px-IMG_028.jpg

This is an aerial view of the Victor Square, the premier stadium of New Propagandian football.

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f236/Medionsaturn/st-etienne-stadium.jpg


But should you take advantage of our offer, what's in it for your team you say? Well aside from what was stated above, your team will be treated like royalty, a five-star hotel(the Dorado Star) for accomadation, free meals with as many courses as you like(within reason) and should you wish, a private tour of New El Dorado brought to you by Propaganda Travels. All this, of course will be paid for by the New Propagandian Football Association as a special "Welcome to football" for our proud Nation.


What about your fans who may travel to New El Dorado to watch the game should your team participate? Don't worry, New Propagandia was built on the foundation of freedom, liberty and social equality meaning the unless they bring trouble themselves your citizens will be greeted as respected visitors and will hopefully have a great time.

New Propagandia hopes you will reply back to the fax address unless this has been brought via messangers in which case please send one back with your answer.


Sincerely,


The New Propagandian Football Association"

FORT EUROPE's NSWC XXXII TEAM ANOUNCED

Report by Amy Bystander, Commonwealth News.

As the end of another long year for football draws to a close, the Fort Europe national team are preparing for the Nation States thirty second World Cup. Supporters of all ages have been lineing up since zero two hundred hours this morning to secure their seats for the home matches to be played at The Commonwealth Stadium in Fort Europe's capital city, Stape. The draw for this NSWC leaves Fort Europe with a tough uphill struggle if they are to get anywhere, and have only an outside chance of moving beyond the group stages. The team from the Commonwealth done well in the Baptism of Fire tournement last month, reaching the quater finals only to be beaten by a far stronger side. They will take comfort however in the fact that they conseded few goals and the tournement's top goalscorer was playing on their side. Young Michelle Bishop has made quite a name for herself since the start of the BoF competition and in the build up to the World Cup, lending herself in what little spare time she has to participate in photo shoots for the tournement's major sponsors. A part time model, Michelle was recently voted the sexiest footballer in The YoungWorld, ahead of Assegai Development's own starlet Samantha Neesa, and Elves Security Force's youngster Kyla Night.
Fort Europe will be looking to get a good start here, and force themselves forwards with top quality performances in order to do well, anything less will undoubtedly end in the team's demise in this tournement.

The Daily Quak
World Cup XXXII Preview

The World Cup is upon us again, after Quakmybush near non-qualification, the Sharks are back again. The team hopes to qualify for the World Cup, and maybe advance out of the group stages. But first and foremost, the qualifying group. Quakmybush was placed in Group 6, with Choobie International (129), Raging Penguins (48), Alexandrian Ptolemais (UR), Bettia (15), and Ropa-Topia (57). The Sharks have a large chance for qualification. First a look at all the teams in the group.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Bettia.png The top seed in the group, a very good team. We have faced them before once, in World Cup 30, we drew them 2-2.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Quakmybush.png That's us, 2nd seeded, not bad eh?

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Raging_Penguins.png The penguins, the team that pulled out to let us get in last qualifying. Emotions will be high for this match. We have played them twice, in World Cup 31 qualifying. We lost 1-0, and Drew 1-1.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Ropa-Topia.png These guys have been around for a bit. They arent Az-Cz or Aurendia, but they could still cause a challenge. Never played them before.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Choobie_International.png These guys are fresh out of the Baptism of Fire. Should be near the bottom of the table. Never played them.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Alexandrian_Ptolemais.png The impossible to announce nation of the group, have never played an international game before. Never played them.

Predicting Finishing Order
Bettia
Quakmybush
Ropa-Topia
Raging Penguins
Choobie International
Alexandrian Ptolemais

We believe that Bettia will finished just ahead of the Sharks. With Ropa-Topia and Raging Penguins battling for a distant 3rd. Choobie International and Alexandrian Ptolemais will be at the bottom.

Now, the Sharks schedule.

Friendly 1: Bedistan (Xed City Stadium)
MD 1: @ Raging Penguins
MD 2:Ropa-Topia (Cherrywood Stadium)
MD 3:Choobie International (Ruckus Room)
MD 4: @ Alexandrian Ptolemais
MD 5: @ Bettia
Friendly 2: @ Bedistan
MD 6: Raging Penguins (Fort Erie Stadium)
MD 7: @ Ropa-Topia
MD 8: @ Choobie International
MD 9: Alexandrian Ptolemais (Jinkton City Field)
MD 10: Bettia (Xed City Stadium)

Now for a look at Quakmybush's players. The Starting Eleven will be Gait, Hughes, Valez, Hughes at defence. Fret and Fields at midfield. Martin, Miller, Plett and Sorley at forward. With Carroll in between the pipes. The top 3 goal scorers are Fields with 57 goals, Sorley with 19 goals and Plett with 7 goals. The team has two new additions this year, Cervantes, and Clifford Baker. Both are looking for good qualifying campaigns.

In tomorrow's paper we will preview the rest of the groups.

“Journalism” from the Goongerah (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Goongerah) Green Left Online Edition

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/GreenLeft.gif

SOMEHOW ERRINUNDERA SCORES IN FREEDOM OF THE PRESS

The Ariddian (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ariddia) based Reporters Without Borders has surveyed several countries in the NationStates world and found, so far, that Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera) has the world’s greatest press freedoms (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11854921&postcount=1).

Here at the Green Left Online Edition we beg to differ. Not so long ago our reporters were harassed by officious agents from other nations for prematurely posting a World Cup report. That there was no content in the report is neither here nor there. That our reporter subsequently died of a seizure did not elicit the slightest degree of sympathy from the boneheads.

But things got worse. After the Sacred Tree Registry here in Goongerah (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Goongerah) disallowed Rodger River (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Rodger_River) from naming their new sacred tree (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Sacred_Tree) after the legendary footballer longipesp (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Longipesp) several of our reporters were stalked by enraged Rodgerers. This aggression climaxed in the torching (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Corporate_Torching) of our office.

Anyway, our begrudging congratulations to the thousands of other press organisations in Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera) that have had the good fortune not to be singled out like us.

ERRINUNDERA STANDS APART FROM THE USUAL HELLHOLES

With the announcement of the World Cup 32 qualifying draw the University for the Global Environment here in Goongerah (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Goongerah) has published it’s “Utopia” ratings for the nations in Group 14 which includes Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera). The score is out of 100 and has been expanded from the last cup to include civil freedoms, political freedoms, environmental activism and freedom from economic divisiveness.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Errinundera.png 87
Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera). Left-wing Utopia. What more need be said?

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/The Archregimancy.png 64
The Archregimancy (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/The_Archregimancy). Lost points on lack of civil and political freedoms. Did surprisingly well on environmental activism. Their prescriptions against women are appalling (see story below). We haven’t got a clue what all the religious mumbo-jumbo is about, however.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/The Gold TyGrr.png 54
The Gold TyGrr (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/page=display_nation/nation=The%20Gold%20TyGrr). Weak on the economic front with a UN rating of strong. Also poor politically.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Green Wombat.png 43
Green Wombat (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Green_wombat). Ordinary performances all round.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Marceau State.png 27
Marceau State (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/page=display_nation/nation=Marceau%20State). Typical NationStates hellhole: a barren wasteland fitting for an avaricious prison-state.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Dumania.png 41
Dumania (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/page=display_nation/nation=Dumania): a mental disorder where the sufferer compulsively clearfells native forest. At least they’re not moneyhuggers.

EFA PRESIDENT ATTACKS ARCHREGIMANCY WAR ON WOMEN

Newly elected Errinundera Football Association (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera_Football_Association) President ermainegree has hit out against the anti-women policies of The Archregimancy (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/The_Archregimancy). “They do not allow women in their nation,” she told a packed press conference. “Well, if our female fans can’t make it to our match there then I’m sure that our loyal male fans will stay behind in Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera) also. Just as well the Mancies are compelled to accept our football team regardless of the players’ genders – we only have 4 men in the national squad (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera_National_Football_Squad). I can only guess what they will make of our genderqueer players including the angelic captain rosaniel. Anyway, what we promise is this: if they don’t allow our female fans to attend the match our entire squad will drop their daks and moon the stadium during their pre-game religious service.”

These are fighting words. Whether ermainegree can deliver on her threats is a moot question. Our enquiries suggest the answer is yes and no.

Yes. Our surveys and others around the nation have indicated that the men of Errinundera (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera), although seemingly useless at football, will support their sisters and boycott the match in The Archregimancy (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/The_Archregimancy). What’s more, the Bonang (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Bonang) City Council has declared a citywide nude day for the home game against the monks at the B.C.G. (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#The_B.C.G._.28Bonang_Cricket_Ground.29) This has received tremendous support and it is now fully expected that the entire 20 million population of Bonang (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Bonang), including the 100,000 at the ground, will be in a state of undress on that day.

No. There is a lack of support for the idea of brown-eyeing the opposition in The Archregimancy (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/The_Archregimancy). Most vocal critic of this provocative act is team captain, the angelic genderqueer rosaniel. “Part of my allure for Errinundrians is the mystery of what I have under my shorts. That’s a secret I don’t intend to give away.”

Breaking news: The Genderqueer Liberation Movement has announced that 5,000 genderqueers intend to travel to The Archregimancy (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/The_Archregimancy) to support the potoroos.

Reg Loriyu walked into the offices of the Casaran Soccer Authority, carrying a briefcase and wearing a suit, with a national-color tie, attempting to look professional on his first day on the job.

He walked up to the receptionist. She was wearing the old-school white and blue hooped old school uniform and was idly talking on the phone, Noting the coach standing there, seemingly overdressed, she just nodded and pointed at the right direction and indicating the floor by holding up four fingers.

Reg nodded and raised an eyebrow slightly as he passed. "That's a bit odd." He muttered, getting into an open elevator. Quickly a few more workers ran past, yelling at each other over a few sheets of paper. A few seconds into the ride, they simultaniously glanced behind themselves at the guy in the suit before looking back at each other and resuming their argument, even more vocal than ever.

Reg just shook his head as he pushed past the two when the door opened again, glancing up and down the hallway as a soccer ball caught an odd bounce off a doorframe and hit him in the shin. Inside a room, a cry of "Little help?" drifted out. Shaking his head, he kicked it back in the room as he passed, continuing down the hall and turning a corner.

"Suit!" Someone yelled, as 8 people dived to the side of the hallway to let him pass, all standing between two lines taped on the floor. "Man, I told you we needed a lower traffic hallway to play in." one of the players said, bouncing a ball against the opposite wall.

"Oh please. With no traffic the game's less interesting." another said, stealing the ball and saying "Game on!" as Reg crossed the other goal line and ducked into an office at the end of the hall. An intern in a brutally ugly keeper's shirt sat at a desk, drinking some coffee and intimately interested in a play-by-play coming through the radio.

"Um... this is my office, right?" Reg said, looking at the intern.

Glancing up, his concentration broken, his eyes went wide when he realized who was actually questioning him. "Oh, yes sir. Your office is right through there." He said, pointing, suddenly overwhelmed with a desire to look busy. Walking through the fancy glass double doors into his office, he stopped and looked around. Nice carpet, solid wood desk, lots of windows on both outside walls... it wasn't a shabby place. Gently setting his briefcase on the desk, he took notice of a scratch along the top.

"Sorry about that. We bet Hill that she couldn't jump, slide over the desk, and land in her chair. Did a number on the desk." David Scorlotto said, leaning against the doorframe. Reg turned and shruged.

"Still a pretty swanky office."

"No kidding, mine's like a broom closet." David said as some particularly vulgar swears floated in from the hallway. Glancing back at the intern manning the desk outside, David rolled his eyes slightly and pointed out the door. The intern, looking to please the higher-ups, quickly dove out into the hall and let out a string of more vulgar swears in an effort to get the Hall-soccer players to lay off of it for a bit.

"Seems like a well-run ship around here." Reg said, sitting in the chair behind his desk.

"Would it frighten you if I told you that today was a good day?"

"Just a little."

"It was worse before. We just got the coffee stains out of the carpet in the hallway from the last incident."

Reg glanced up at the ceiling for a moment. "I don't suppose I could just babysit the K-index computer?"

"There's not much to babysit, there's so many bumper stickers on it it's probably immune to all damage."

"Bumper stickers?"

"Oh yeah. Well, we'll get a computer up here for you when someone decides to do their job, but until then, feel free to get the feel of the place. We had planned some team selection meetings by the end of the week, but that goes how it goes, so we're not that worried about it just yet."

"Yeah, sounds good."

"Regret leaving City yet?"

"Maybe just a bit."

"Don't worry. You'll have an episode or something soon enough, and from there it'll all be fine."

Reg watched David walk out of the room and sighed to himself. He had expected something out of the ordinary, but this?

Glancing out the windows, he could see down onto the field and over the stands into the city. Behind him, the sound of shattering glass and obscenities drifted through the doors, followed by footsteps headed the other direction.

"They broke the coffee maker again. We had just fixed that, too." The intern grumbled, putting his feet up on the desk.

Reg shook his head. There were probably worse places to work at.

Maybe.

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
Mateys hit with withdrawls

On the eve of Paul Kirk officillay naming his World cup squad news has reached him of two high profile players who are joining Amusi Akobyi and hanging up their boots.
Marvin Andrews and Dominic Patton are both said to have handed in their letters saying they are no longer available for selection for the national team and feel its time to let the younger guys have a go.

Marvin's news has come as a great surprise ad there is talk of him being the third player to enter the Mateys Hall of Fame, Patton on the other hand has had a terrible season with Dromara and may not have even been selected anyway.

The group draws have been slightly hampered at the minute with rumours of fixing and many other alligations, more news of this when it arrives

Cuation to Open Victor Square


Eight Thousand Cuation fans are expected to travel to New Propaganida as Cuation help inaugurate the national stadium called Victor Square. It should be a grand occasion and hopefully we will see a good game of football between an experienced team and the new comers.

New Propaganida are unranked but they will hope to cause an upset in front of their fans. Cuation's defence must shake off any hangover from their last match, a 4-0 defeat and defend set pieces well. If they can keep the ball from reaching Starr then Cuation can have Lewish and Cole double up on the home side’s weak point, Vesputous.

The Cuation fans will expect a win and so will the FA, a match against a new team without international experience could be ideal to shake off the world cup blues. The question is, will New Propaganida rise to the occasion or will the lack of a Baptism of Fire cost them? Either way, New Propaganida has the facilities to be a great side in the future and Cuation should be delighted to be a chapter in their football history.

Mike Star, Journalist for the Cuation mouse

xxxxxxxxxx

Inside dressing room

Seletarakeledira Hanselijimijile had gathered the players at the training ground, a little annoyed by the FA's blocking the news of the group and at the punch up between Keane and Rual a week ago. The two strikers still had not made up, they had been placed as far as possible in the training facility dressing room.

"Lads, we go to New Propaganida for our friendly, we will be facing that team in their opening game in the stadium. We are guests and will be treated well, this is big day for them so don't be mean, like a child or get in fights!"

After the shocks of hearing their manager speak so well, unaware that Sh had been taking lessons, there were groans.

Our scout’s reports are in so now we discuss tactics yes? They play a 4-4-2 diamond, they will attack us so look to strike on the break. Butcher, Cole, get tight on Ryane and Steele, don't let them get in crosses. Irwin, Cheese, mark Starr and Nielson out of the game, be very careful of Starr, he could win the game for them. James, come forward and act as a holding midfielder to stop Reyes from getting a grip in the game, Downing, drop back to help Butcher when Smithson comes forward. Jude, command your area at set pieces, ignore the critics and be vocal!"

Defence done, SH turned to his game plan for the attack.

"Fallen, you are going to have to work for space if Lovett becomes your man marker, if he doesn't then punish them for it. Lewish use your pace on Vesputous, he is their weak point, and you should get joy out of that clash. Lewish, Downing, Cole and Butcher, if you can't find an option when in a position to cross, just aim a high ball close to Liberkine. Lu Fei, Liberkine is rather small so challenge him for high balls, you should be able to out jump him at least once."

SH dearly hoped the scouts had done their job, the thought of Liberkine in fact being tall was a worrying thought, his players might still follow orders.

"I expect a good display, get those bad feelings out, get fit, I hope to see our old inconsistency banished but I will accept a draw as it is a friendly."

QAZOXIAN TIMES

Here's Our predictions, but they may be made inalid as a lawsuit over the group by result in a re-draw. But for now here's who we see doing what in each group: (teams Predcited to advance are in Red

Group 1:
The Mushroom Kingship (74)
The HURD (192)
New Montreal States (6)
Snub Nose 39 (122)
Turori (27)
Cataduanes (36)

NMS easily wins the group, while Turori and Catduanes battle for 2nd. TMK possible spoilers.

Group 2:
Bedistan (3)
Nedalia (32)
Sel Appa (81)
Florida Oranges (UR)
Algal States (141)
Demot (43)

Bedistan will go undefeated, while Nedalia, Demot and surprising Sel Appa while fight it out for 2nd, the Demot sneaking in.

Group 3:
Squornshelous (1)
Rordia (84)
Bazalonia (18)
Anrow (197)
Aurendia (38)
Kericia (60)

Easy group to predict, The defending champs are a lock, while Bazalonia is the only team that can stay with in striking distance at the top. Aurendia will be third, but if they can upset either of the top 2, they could manage to get in.

Group 4:
Okielahoma (54)
Race Track (142)
Northern Caesarea (24)
Nebuleux (69)
Liverpool England (7)
Paleoslavia (154)

Tough group, besides Liverpool England, 3 of the other 5 teams could get in. But Okielahoma will pass Northern Caesarea and Nebuleux by and take the qualifing spot.

Group 5:
Fort Europe (132)
Spaamanian Plijous (59)
Cuation (26)
Salwinia (177)
Lisburn Mateys (50)
Commerce Heights (11)

Commerce Heights will get in, but the fight for 2nd will be between Spaamanian Plijous, Cuation and Lisburn Mateys. After its all said and done, Cuation will come out of the scrum in 2nd.

Group 6:
Choobie International (129)
Raging Penguins (48)
Alexandrian Ptolemais (UR)
Bettia (15)
Quakmybush (21)
Ropa-Topia (57)

Our GROUP OF DEATH, as 4 teams all have a decent shot at qualifing. Bettia will get in, as they are a notch or two above the rest of the group, but Quakmybush will win the group, while Ropa-Topia and Raging Penguins will make it real close.

Group 8:
Dorian and Sonya (64)
Ariddia (9)
The Deathbat Republic (190)
Spaam (19)
Assegai Developments (102)
Tynelia (37)

Another hotly constested group, as World Cup Founders Ariddia will make it in again, while Tynelia, Spaam and Dorian and Sonya battle for 2nd. In a shocker, Tynelia finally get in by 1 point over Spaam.

Group 9:
Sativaville (52)
Stromboland (176)
Backwardistan (77)
Noremark (109)
Spruitland (20)
Rejistania (13)

The group of contrasts, as fomer powers Rejistania and Spruitland are placed with up and comers Sativaville, Normark and Backwardistan. But the old guard will find a way to get in, with Sativaville falling just short.

Group 10:
Tocapa (103)
The Lowland Clans (23)
Spindomia (72)
Voskadouria (UR)
Oliverry (4)
Wentland (42)

Oliverry is in...and other than that who knows. TLC has been streaky in the past, as has Wentland. Spindomia is not quite there yet and Voskadouria and Tocapa are too inexperienced. TLC gets in, but just barely over Wentland.

Group 11:
Casari (8)
The Mice of Miceland (58)
Dance 2 Revolution (44)
Cafundeu (104)
Seckland (UR)
The Islands of Qutar (17)

Qutar and Casari, both recent co-hosts of the Cup look to be a bit better than D2R, who has taken a freefall down the rankings. The Mice are good, but not good enough in ths group ans Qutar and Casari go on to the Cup.

Group 12:
Anastasiania (65)
Vilita (33)
Jeruselem (10)
Commerce Heights JSY (89)
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (35)
The Great Monty Python (UR)

The 2nd GROUP OF DEATH, Jeruselem will be challenged by Vilita, ASMV and an improving Anastasiania. While The Great Monty Python, promises to use the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch on everybody, after its all over, Jeruselem and ASMV will be going on.

Group 13:
Elves Security Forces (45)
Harlesburg (80)
New Propaganida (UR)
Bostopia (98)
Fmjphoenix (22)
Schiavonia (14)

Fmjpheonix and Schiavonia are slumping a bit as of late, but they are still the class of this group. ESF will challenge, but Harlesburg and Bostopia will keep the Elves from advancing.

Group 14:
Errinundera (31)
The Archregimancy (16)
The Gold TyGrr (178)
Green Wombat (46)
Marceau State (55)
Dumania (110)

The monks will run wild, so to speak, in this group, while Green Wombat, Marceau state and Errinundera will battle it out for 2nd, and Marceau state will eke out enough points to advance.

Group 15:
Alasdair I Frosticus (70)
Yafor 2 (53)
Starblaydia (5)
Bushes Been Quaked (95)
Az-Cz (28)
Nomadasia (155)

Starblaydia is pissed, and this group will have to suffer the concequences. After that, the Gnomes of Az-Cz look to be the best of the rest.

The Propaganda Express - Only 45¬n


Sports Pages:


CUATION IS COMING


Yes, that's right, World ranked 26 nation Cuation are coming in the inaugral international game at the new stadium - Victor Square - which is also finally giving previous Prímó Vero runners-up Dorado City a respectable home. But not only are they coming, they're taking over.


An 8, 000 ticket allocation means that they will be coming in their hordes, especially as Propaganda Travels are now temporarily flying them over at discount prices with holiday deal bundles. Who will be the real winner? New Propagandia? Cuation? The fans? Ha! Of course not, it's the Merchants.


"This really will be great for almost all buinesses. Especially hotels and tour companies." Said Market Analyst Mark Veers "But also inn's, supermarkets and Basket Weaving(being our third largest market empire) should profit very well."


Either way, the Cuation's should certainly liven things up, but hopefully it will be us drunk on the streets celebrating wildly.


Oh yes, the football. We caught up with the team as they left the Football Association building where they were having their meeting, the Manager Lucius Andrews was unavaliable for comment as he had to dash to the press conference which we will cover tommorrow.


"This is brilliant news and will be a good small consolaton for missing out on the Baptism of Fire." Said the Assistant Manager Barton Carr "I personally cannot wait, not only am I involved in my National team but I get to see how the pitch handles before my next season with Dorado City."


"Cuation? It's going to be an honour playing them but I won't be thinking that when I'm stopping shots." Commented the first choice Goalkeeper Anton Liberkine.


"It should be fun, I hope I score New Propagandia's first ever goal as a nation." Said Brett Starr with a smile on his face. "You just keep those legs in tact Dante."


The Propaganda Express wishes the New Propagandian national team good luck in their match, and hopes that you, the Reader, tune in too.


Harold Higgary

THE MONASTIC TIMES

ARCHREGIMANCY TO WELCOME ERRINUNDERA SUPPORTERS
"Lord Moves in Mysterious Ways" Says Official

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe
In a further sign of the political earthquake to have hit the Monastic Football Association in recent days, observers at both home and abroad were stunned by the news that the MFA would welcome genderqueer Errinunderans into the Archregimancy "in a spirit of loving Christian charity".

A senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity, noted that "While female residents are forbidden within the Archregimancy, it has always been the policy of the Archregimancy to welcome female supporters to international football matches provided they remain within the football ground after travelling through the portal to the Dreamed Realm; in some cases travel beyond the ground is possible if permission is applied for beforehand - we only ask that our unique cultural traditions be respected and that female visitors avoid entering monasteries or hermitages. When we co-hosted World Cup 28, many female supporters of participating teams enjoyed our unique hospitality during the tournament."

When quizzed more closely about the Errinunderan genderqueers, the same official clarified that "while the Orthodox Church does not formally approve of sexual unions between persons of the same sex - and has yet to address the challenge of transgendered individuals - we should of course seek to show the utmost pastoral sensitivity and compassion to the Errinunderan genderqueers. I remind you of Abba Bessarion's example - where a brother who had committed a sin was driven out of the church by a priest, Abba Bessarion rose up and went out with him, saying 'I too am a sinner.' So of course the Errinuderan genderqueers will be welcomed to the Archregimancy in a spirit of inclusive Christian tolerance and love. If they wish to protest - non-violently - the Errinuderan FA is free to contact us so that we may set aside an area of the Dreamed Stadium for their protest."

Expecting the traditional MFA denouncing of heretics, schismatics and blasphemers, the assembled press sat in stunned silence at this unexpected development.

"The Lord moves in mysterious ways" added the archimandrite. "Look, I still don't expect the Errinuderans to approve of our monastic nation, but we're not going to bring them any closer to Orthodoxy by pushing them away, are they? They have their traditions, we have ours. If they want us to respect theirs, the least they can do is try and respect ours in turn."

The Schiavone Scribe
Traditional Match in trouble

Harvey Alfredo of the SFF today declared his worry for a traditional date in the Schiavone international football calendar, as the national team's regular pre-qualifying game against The Islands of Qutar looked in jeapordy.

"We play this game before every cup. It's when Qutar say goodbye to their retiring players and we welcome our new guys into the team." Alfredo told waiting journalists.

"The thing is, we've heard nothing from the Qutaris for months. Not even a quick phone call to say that we can come over for a kick around."

"However, we are still going to travel to Qutar. If nobody turns up, then I guess we'll just have to arrange another game while we're in the country and run it ourselves as an unofficial game. However, as far as we are concerned, the game is going ahead."

Meanwhile, team manager Rodney Lowe was questioned about the selection of a nineteen year-old as first choice goalkeeper for the coming campaign.

"Of course it's the correct choice!" Lowe said about his selection of Chris Howard, who currently plays for SchiavFour side Kingsbury Amsham, "He was the main reason why Socialist Romanistan weren't thrashed every game by about 20 goals last cup. And as Socialist Romanistan is a completely made up place, the boy is actually from Amsham, he's actually eligible for us! Plus he's been recommended by Jeruselem's most successful coach ever, Harry Kool. Not a bad recommendation."

Still, it does seem a bit of a jump. We'll have to see how he does in Qutar. Whoever he plays against.

"So, Norman, we can see the group now..."

Tocapa (103)
The Lowland Clans (23)
Spindomia (72)
Voskadouria (UR)
Oliverry (4)
Wentland (42)

"What do you make of that?"

"Brilliant. It's brilliant. We can qualify from that group. We've beaten Oliverry before, the Clans underachieve...so long as we get neutral officials we are surely going to get through. About time. The only way they can stop us is by re-drawing the groups or something. In fact," laughed Norman Hacker, "I can see the organizers doing that just to screw us over."

"Not much chance of that! How about the squad?"

"Being announced shortly, together with the new kit...something a bit special to follow. Something for the workers of Wentland."

Geis-Milch WC32 Headquarters - Konigseifert, Geisenfried

Andreas Beckner, head of the Geisenfried's side of the Geisenfried-Milchama Hosting Organization Committee sat at his desk, nervewracked, mulling over the new information presented to him. A couple other members sat around him, showing similar signs of distress while they figured out what course of action they were planning to take.

"Sheesh. Couldn't we have gotten this information a bit earlier?"

"Unfortunately, no, and wishing we could isn't going to help matters."

"Right. OK then. So from what we have here, the contractors won't be close enough to finishing all the renovations to the various stadiums by the time this all gets done. We have two options. Delay the beginning of qualifiers, which is due very soon, or re-draw to a 10-group set up with 9 each to prolong the qualifiers. Starting qualifiers as usual and delaying the beginning of the World Cup proper has been ruled out. Opinions on which to do?"

"As much as I'd rather do neither, re-draw will be better. We're already running a bit late as it is, and further delay's not going to be appreciated."

"Is a delay really going to be much more frustrating than a re-draw? Having to switch all their schedules and all?"

"Either way, it's going to tick off someone. Can't help that. I have to agree, re-draw's looking much easier."

"Alright, then, the executive decision goes to re-draw. One of you needs to contact Milchama and inform them of the change, and tell them we don't have much else optionwise. Another needs to get the draw done, though we'll skip the usual formalities. Lastly, someone needs to inform all the FAs involved."

The others moved to get working, but one made a comment towards Beckner before leaving.

"Quick question."

"What is it?"

"Can we blame Milchama? They did insist on 15 groups of 6."

Andreas couldn't help but chuckle at the question.

"Don't I wish..."

----------

In light of unexpected difficulties, the decision has come to re-draw the qualifying groups of the World Cup 32. We would like fully apologize for any hassle caused by this decision. Without further adieu, the new groups. Due to the new format, the top three, instead of just the top two, will advance.

Group 1:
Tocapa (103)
Cataduanes (36)
Okielahoma (54)
The Islands of Qutar (17)
Anrow (197)
Algal States (141)
Az-Cz (28)
Liverpool England (7)
Sel Appa (81)

Group 2:
Krytenia (2)
Commerce Heights (11)
Bostopia (98)
The HURD (192)
Alasdair I Frosticus (70)
Nomadasia (155)
Turori (27)
Ropa-Topia (57)
Elves Security Forces (45)

Group 3:
Alexandrian Ptolemais (UR)
Bushes Been Quaked (95)
Vilita (33)
Race Track (142)
New Montreal States (6)
Dance 2 Revolution (44)
Quakmybush (21)
Anastasiania (65)
Kericia (60)

Group 4:
Backwardistan (77)
Salwinia (177)
Oliverry (4)
Spaam (19)
The Mice of Miceland (58)
Cafundeu (104)
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (35)
The Deathbat Republic (190)
The Lowland Clans (23)

Group 5:
The Great Monty Python (UR)
Bedistan (3)
Sativaville (52)
Bazalonia (18)
The New Hypocria (143)
Nebuleux (69)
Green Wombat (46)
Snub Nose 39 (122)
Nedalia (32)

Group 6:
Casari (8)
Choobie International (129)
New Propaganida (UR)
Spindomia (72)
Fmjphoenix (22)
Noremark (109)
Marceau State (55)
Spruitland (20)
Aurendia (38)

Group 7:
Qazox (29)
Florida Oranges (UR)
Assegai Developments (102)
Schiavonia (14)
Ariddia (9)
Stromboland (176)
Wentland (42)
Lisburn Mateys (50)
The Mushroom Kingship (74)

Group 8:
Voskadouria (UR)
Errinundera (31)
Demot (43)
Rorysville (51)
Commerce Heights JSY (89)
Paleoslavia (154)
Squornshelous (1)
Rejistania (13)
Haraki (61)

Group 9:
Spaamanian Plijous (59)
Schnabo (UR)
Starblaydia (5)
Rordia (84)
Raging Penguins (48)
Fort Europe (132)
Harlesburg (80)
Northern Caesarea (24)
The Archregimancy (16)

Group 10:
Dumania (110)
Dorian and Sonya (64)
The Gold TyGrr (178)
Yafor 2 (53)
Cuation (26)
Bettia (15)
Seckland (UR)
Tynelia (37)
Jeruselem (10)

And new schedule:
MD01: Friendlies
MD02: 1 B, 2 v 9, 3 v 8, 4 v 7, 5 v 6
MD03: 2 B, 1 v 9, 6 v 3, 8 v 4, 7 v 5
MD04: 3 B, 5 v 1, 4 v 2, 6 v 8, 9 v 7
MD05: 4 B, 1 v 8, 2 v 3, 5 v 9, 7 v 6
MD06: 5 B, 1 v 7, 8 v 2, 3 v 9, 4 v 6
MD07: 6 B, 3 v 1, 2 v 7, 8 v 5, 9 v 4
MD08: 7 B, 1 v 4, 6 v 2, 5 v 3, 9 v 8
MD09: 8 B, 2 v 1, 7 v 3, 4 v 5, 6 v 9
MD10: 9 B, 1 v 6, 2 v 5, 3 v 4, 8 v 7
MD11: Friendlies
MD12: 1 B, 9 v 2, 8 v 3, 7 v 4, 6 v 5
MD13: 2 B, 9 v 1, 3 v 6, 4 v 8, 5 v 7
MD14: 3 B, 1 v 5, 2 v 4, 8 v 6, 7 v 9
MD15: 4 B, 8 v 1, 3 v 2, 9 v 5, 6 v 7
MD16: 5 B, 7 v 1, 2 v 8, 9 v 3, 6 v 4
MD17: 6 B, 1 v 3, 7 v 2, 5 v 8, 4 v 9
MD18: 7 B, 4 v 1, 2 v 6, 3 v 5, 8 v 9
MD19: 8 B, 1 v 2, 3 v 7, 5 v 4, 9 v 6
MD20: 9 B, 6 v 1, 5 v 2, 4 v 3, 7 v 8

Sel Appa protests the redraw.

"Um, Security...we seem to have a little problem here..."

"WHAT THE F**K DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING???? YOU ARE F**KING WITH MY TEAM YOU B******S!!!!"

The attendant dignitaries were stunned as a shortish ginger-haired crewcutted bespectacled figure in ill-fitting suit strode towards the Conference stage. "WE WERE GOING TO F***ING QUALIFY AND YOU'VE DECIDED TO F**K US!!!!"

All the broadcasters could do was put up a caption.

We apologize for the technical difficulties. Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

Meanwhile the security personnel came on stage to stop the invader. Unfortunately for them the invader had a pass which he brandished at the various hulks, whose collective brain cell was bemused by this development.

"I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU!!! I'M FROM F**KING WENTLAND!!!!"

The gentleman tried to march through and was temporarily stopped by a security guard. Who was promptly felled by an unexpected left hook.

"YOU CAN'T F**KING STOP ME!!!"

The gentleman started yelling incoherently at the microphones and the now-scared Milchama and Geisenfried chefs de mission. "Fix...you've fixed this...screwed...this is on purpose...this is...blasphemy...I'll sue you...I'll arrest you...you..."

Finally the police came to drag the protestor away. However he would not go willingly. "Arrest ME??? Arrest ME!!!!! You...you criminals...charlatans...brewery..."

As his cries died down the scheduled programming continued. However that was not the last of the drama as the head of the Sel Appa delegation also announced his displeasure, yelling similar remarks as he marched out of the draw.

Norman Hacker did not get to see Wentland's opponents. Ironically he might not have been too displeased. Plenty of interesting challenges and a chance to do a bit better against Assegai after the Cup of Harmony tussles.

Group 4:
Backwardistan (77)
Salwinia (177)
Oliverry (4)
Spaam (19)
The Mice of Miceland (58)
Cafundeu (104)
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (35)
The Deathbat Republic (190)
The Lowland Clans (23)

MAKAS - Hmm, a new group.
BRADDOCK - What's the difference?
MAKAS - More games to play, more points we can make.
BRADDOCK - But still lots of powerful teams to face and still battling for the intermediate positions.
MAKAS - But I surely liked this group more than the previous one.

The CCFM released the new fixture list to the media, with some short comments from the directors and the staff. The players will travel to Compos to prepare themselves for the games:

Cafundéu's games:

MD2: The Mice of Miceland - Cafundéu
MD3: Cafundéu - Oliverry
MD4: Cafundéu - The Deathbat Republic
MD5: Andossa Se Mitrin Vega - Cafundéu
MD6: Spaam - Cafundéu
MD8: Cafundéu - Salwinia
MD9: Cafundéu - The Lowland Clans
MD10: Backwardistan - Cafundéu
MD12: Cafundéu - The Mice of Miceland
MD13: Oliverry - Cafundéu
MD14: The Deathbat Republic - Cafundéu
MD15: Cafundéu - Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
MD16: Cafundéu - Spaam
MD18: Salwinia - Cafundéu
MD19: The Lowland Clans - Cafundéu
MD20: Cafundéu - Backwardistan

Stadiums used:

MD3: Praça Maior, in Cafundó do Juta (cap. 100,000).
MD4: C-Eletronics Stadium, in Astari (cap. 80,000).
MD8: Presídio, in Carandirú City (cap. 75,000).
MD9: Obelisco Monumental, in Lasft (cap. 80,000).
MD12: Campo de Batalha, in Penderia (cap. 77,000).
MD15: Praça Maior, in Cafundó do Juta (cap. 100,000).
MD16: Obelisco Monumental, in Lasft (cap. 80,000).
MD20: Maracatu Arena, in Dunboor (cap. 60,000).

The Football Federation of Sel Appa has decided not to boycott the 32nd NS World Cup after much deliberation. A new official pre-qualification press release has been released:



Group 1: Ranked:
Tocapa (103) Liverpool England (7)
Cataduanes (36) The Islands of Qutar (17)
Okielahoma (54) Az-cz (28)
The Islands of Qutar (17) Cataduanes (36)
Anrow (197) Okielahoma (54)
Algal States (141) Sel Appa (81)
Az-cz (28) Tocapa (103)
Liverpool England (7) Algal States (141)
Sel Appa (81) Anrow (197)


Despite anger over the redraw, Sel Appa will be playing in World Cup 32. Although the first draw gave some strong possibilities and hope for Sel Appa's first qualification, these hopes were eradicated with the new draw that pushed Sel Appa to 6th in group, behind some well-known teams. Notably, Liverpool England, who are ranked in the top 10. Also, The Islands of Qutar, who hosted Sel Appa's first attempt at the World Cup. Az-cz is also a well-known team which has a good bit of World Cup History on their record.

The Turtles will be playing two familiar teams: Az-cz and Algal States, who was in Sel Appa's group in the previous Qualifiers and the original draw for these qualifiers. The last two meetings between these two sides led to a 1-0 and 4-1 victories for Sel Appa. Az-cz defeated Sel Appa in both meetings 1-3 and 0-5, in the same qualifiers group as the previous World Cup 31.

For his third straight term as Coach of the Sel Appa National Football Team, Charles DuPont says he is disappointed with the redraw, but is optimistic for The Turtles "to at least get a nice position in the group". Indeed, the matches against Tocapa, Algal States, and Anrow should be all wins for Sel Appa, with a possible draw with Tocapa. There is a possibilty of at least one draw with Okielahoma, but the remaining matches are likely to be defeats. Sel Appa is still new to International Football and still has a lot of ground to cover. The Turtles are also looking for some other teams to play friendlies against and are accepting most challenges.

And here we have the matchday schedule:

MD01: Bazalonia(Friendly)
MD02: @ Cataduanes
MD03: @ Tocapa
MD04: Az-cz
MD05: @ Anrow
MD06: @ Okielahoma
MD07: The Islands of Qutar
MD08: Liverpool England
MD09: @ Algal States
MD10: Bye
MD11: @ Bazalonia(Friendly)
MD12: Cataduanes
MD13: Tocapa
MD14: @ Az-cz
MD15: Anrow
MD16: Okielahoma
MD17: @ The Islands of Qutar
MD18: @ Liverpool England
MD19: Algal States
MD20: Bye

GRAHAM CITY SUN - World Cup Qualifying Coverage

LONDON - Once again the time comes for the World Cup. After playing having the best World Cup for the Galaxy in decades and then faltering in the AOCAF, manager Casey Dellet is back again to try and taste glory. In this exclusive interview, Dellet discussess his future as a manager after this cup, when he plans to retire from coaching the national team, and his reaction to the AOCAF disaster.

GCS:Thanks for granting us this interview Mr. Dellet.

CD: No problem, shall we begin?

GCS: Of course. I think the first thing we've got to ask you about is your reaction to the AOCAF troubles, in which the Novas were an extreme disappointment after several good runs.

CD: Well I think we were just a victim of bad bounces. Aurendia had two questionable goals that I thought were clearly offside, but you can't get them all. I thought we were a very talented but raw roster, with little experience but that should change soon. They've got at least two or three more chances to earn international experience before they get the chance to jump to the World Cup stage, and I think that will do them good. I also think the impending re-organization of the domestic league will do them some good, give them a chance to really test their ability on the field was well as give them a place to grow and mature as players.

GCS: Speaking of the reorganization, what are your chances of getting a managerial position in the new league?

CD: Probably at this point not very high, at least right away. This job has really taken its toll on me, and I really wish to just take a break at this point, but definitely at some point in the future. I think Davies has done an excellent job cleaning house so to speak and getting the league started afresh. I think that there really is a market for domestic football, and I think it would do the FFLC well to get it started again, as well as the youth football program, which I've heard about through my contacts.

GCS: Youth football

CD: Well, I don't want to spoil the specifics, but I think that Mr Davies and Mr Doliaque will do an excellent job at getting the game promoted among our young people.

GCS: What do you think about the draw and more specifically, the redraw controversy?

CD: I don't think there is one. No games have been played, no harm has come. Only the most traditionalist hard-asses and whiners in the international community think that there is a problem, and they already hate the hosts anyways, so no loss there. Plus I think teams that whine enough about getting a harder draw really need to suck it up and just practice and play harder. These things are outside of our control as participants and seriously, so you remember a World Cup where there has not been a major controversy?

Anyways, I think the new draw was a little tougher on us, but I think it'll give us a good chance to show just how much we've improved. Plus, Spaam is not that high of a second seed, and I think it'll be pretty easy for us to qualify. Dealing with Oliverry will be the toughest, but we gave Krytenia an excellent game with a worse squad, so I think we'll be able to surprise them especially since we've got a chance to really warm up and get our team flowing and working together as one. It will also depend on how much of a challenge ASMV and the Mice mount for us and Spaam. If they fall away early, look for the top three seeds to nab the qualifying spots. Cafundeu should surprise as well, they look as if they've got a squad that could really give us trouble.

As for the other groups? I found the fact that the Archregimancy and Starblaydia were drawn together somewhat ironic were drawn together, but it's good to see that the MFA has decided to clamp up on the whining. I honestly think though that because of the smaller groups that this is a little bit of a weaker competition than anything we've seen on the international stage recently. A group of death? I think our group is probably the closest thing to a group of death you will see.

GCS: Alright, well thank you for the interview Mr Dellet.

4=2, 9=6???

WELL, the Krytenians are officially the second-best team in the world. Stand back Starblaydia, vamoose Vilita, back off Bedistan. Only World Champions Squornshelous are higher in the official KPB rankings.

This doesn't make Krytenia immune to dodgy organisation though. Originally in a very easy six-team group, it has since been announced that the Aces will now be in a very tricky nine-teamer. So what lies ahead?

ELVES SECURITY FORCES - Ranked 45th
Krytenia's opponents on Matchday Three. Should provide a challenge at least; don't be surprised if they steal a point at home.

ALASDAIR I FROSTICUS - Ranked 70th
These blasts from the past will serve up Krytenia's first road (portal? -Ed) trip on Matchday Four. Should be three points for Krytenia, but you never know with these old guys...

ROPA-TOPIA - Ranked 57th
A.K.A - Soap-on-a-Ropa-Topia. Often seen but never wanted; potential spoilers.

TURORI - Ranked 27th
Remember the giant rabbits from WC17? Now it could well be giant...bird type thingies. Could pack a few points away.

BOSTOPIA - Ranked 98th
Could have had a chance in any other group; out of their depth here. By the time they play the Aces, three points will be a formality.

THE HURD - Ranked 192nd
Never HURD of 'em. Six points.

UNIFIED CAPITALIZT STATES - Ranked 11th
Matchday Nine will almost certainly be at the famed Uberdome; nil-nil won't be an option.

NOMADSIA - Ranked 155th
Their defence will go walkabout. Six points.

The Story So Far....

Pinky WinslowMouse, Keeper for the Miceland team was infact a twin (non-identical twin) to the Mousey Chief and football player Stuart LittleMouse, his real name was James LittleMouse. Stuart had no idea that he had a twin and it was a secret that their parents took to the grave. An unknown figure had approaches James and knew the truth and wanted to give James help over throwing his brother. The motives of this unknown being are well, unknown but there is one thing you can be certain of.... something is going to happen.

The Miceland Mouser

After a Bit of controversy and 2 draws the Mice of miceland have finally been confirmed in the draw placings. Being behind teams such as Oliverry, Spaam, The Lowland Clans and Andossa Se Mitrin Vega the Mice have a lot infront of them if they want to progress into the world Cup itself. With the new 10 group draw the Mice will have to be in the top 3 if they want to be in their first World Cup and that means unseating at least 2 of the above teams. Impossible you might say? Nothing is impossible with the Miceland team, just look at the last World Cup where good friends, the gnomes of Az-Cz, went all the way to Round of 16 in the World Cup.

The team has done a lot of work and in preperation for the Qualification, infact it seems our little contacts have determined that the Miceland team is seeking friendlies for the official Friendly day and it seems there has been alot of traffic coming into and out of the MFA office from the Unified Capitalzt States, It is unknown whether the Slani league or the JSY league but they have confirmed that the team will be traveling to UCS before the official resumption of World Cup Qualification.

We will keep you updated on all World Cup Qualifying events and news as they unfould. The Miceland Mouser, Miceland's number one source of news.

Noz-Tf: Thank you for coming out to our pre-world cup press conference. Once again Coach Hawdon is here to answer your questions.

Az-cz reporter 1: Coach, how do you feel about the redraw?

Hawdon: Honestly I'm displeased as I thought we had very good chances to qualify from that group. Not to say that we can't qualify from this group, but that it will be more difficult. I also don't particularly like having bye matches.

Az-cz reporter 2: The word I've recieved is that Az-cz will be busy with friendlies this tournament. Is that so?

Hawdon: Yes. We've got friendlies scheduled with Demot for the opening match, Milchama during our first bye, Vilita in the middle of the schedule and Quakmybush in the second bye. As you can see we're getting matches against our friends and many of the kleptochasing nations.

Az-cz reporter 3: This team is almost exactly the same as last time around. Are you suprised by that?

Hawdon: No. I'm suprised that it isn't exactly the same. I really wasn't expecting anybody to leave.

Az-cz reporter 4: How much has the team been effected by Zax-Im's loss?

Hawdon: A fair amount. Zax-Im was the heart and soul of the team. They're adjusting and Nerazzuri has stepped up, but it was disappointing when he decided he wouldn't play.

Az-cz reporter 5: He's still active in -League and his health is good. Do you think there is any chance we could see him later in the qualifiers?

Hawdon: I hope so. We've been in contact with him. We'll see how it goes.

Az-cz reporter 6: Do you envision your coaching duo with coach Khim to stay together past the end of this cup?

Hawdon: It's hard to say. I'm really enjoying being here and I believe Khim is as well, but it's too early to say who will do what at the end of the cup. There's also the possibility that the Az-cz Football Association will want to go a different way. Let's just wait to discuss that.

Noz-Tf: Thank you for coming out today. We are looking forward to another qualification campaign.

Az-cz Scroll
Az-cz City
Il-Lur

Az-cz Scroll World Cup Draw Analysis

Well now that we've got the actual official draw following the botched original official draw we can go ahead and tell you, without any degree of accuracy who will be playing in and winning the world cup proper. Now that Starblaydia, Bedistan and Liverpool England are no longer the big three, we can even allow them to win the cup.

Starting with our group:

Group 1:
Tocapa (103)
Cataduanes (36)
Okielahoma (54)
The Islands of Qutar (17)
Anrow (197)
Algal States (141)
Az-Cz (28)
Liverpool England (7)
Sel Appa (81)

Clearly the big gun in the group is Liverpool England, although they did fail to make it out of their group, even if it was the group of death. Qutar is clearly the second best team, but they only earned three points in the last cup. We are the one team who made the second round in this group and hope to improve on that. Cataduanes and Okielahoma are both dangerous in the next two spots, with Okielahoma coming off a second place finish in the cup of harmony. Sel Appa still seems to be getting better, but looks unlikely to do anything. Tocapa is just a low level team, Algal States was a poor side last cup and Az-cz expects to thrash them again, and Anrow was won of the worst Baptism of Fire sides, so not much can be expected of them. I think the Gnomes climb up in this group finishing second behind Liverpool England, with Qutar in third, Okielahoma being the last team out Cataduanes in fifth, Sel Appa in sixth, Tocapa in seventh, Algal States 8th and Anrow pinned to the bottom.

Next up is a look at the team who we just dodged playing Starblaydia in group 9.

Spaamanian Plijous (59)
Schnabo (UR)
Starblaydia (5)
Rordia (84)
Raging Penguins (48)
Fort Europe (132)
Harlesburg (80)
Northern Caesarea (24)
The Archregimancy (16)

They get to rematch with Archregimancy as those two walk to the top of the group. I still don't think Northern Caesarea is that good but there's no real challengers. Raging Penguins is trouble, but not a world cup level team. Spaamian Plijous is basically the same thing. Harelsburg and Rordia are part of the great mass. I expect to see Fort Europe well overperform there rankings but not enought to dream about qualfication and Schnabo is totally unknown.

Next let's look at our other coaches group out in Group 5.

The Great Monty Python (UR)
Bedistan (3)
Sativaville (52)
Bazalonia (18)
The New Hypocria (143)
Nebuleux (69)
Green Wombat (46)
Snub Nose 39 (122)
Nedalia (32)

Despite having fallen off the top Bedistan still ought to be able to power to the top of the group. With familiarity with the top teams in the group and ability to bleed Coach Hawdon for information about Nebuleux and Green Wombat the Bazalopes ought not have a problem holding down second. Nedalia can be expected to reestablish their strength in third. Green Wombat will take fourth sort of by default. With Satiaville and Nebuleux staying in seed behind them. In a suprise I think Great Monty Python will jump into 7th, with New Hypocria holding 8th and Snub Nose 39 dropping onto the bottom.

Our friends the Mice ended up in group four.

Group 4:
Backwardistan (77)
Salwinia (177)
Oliverry (4)
Spaam (19)
The Mice of Miceland (58)
Cafundeu (104)
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (35)
The Deathbat Republic (190)
The Lowland Clans (23)

This group is probably the toughest group out there. Not only do they have Oliverry, Spaam and The Lowland Clans on top, but Andossa Se Mitrin Vega as a tough fourth seed. Below them are the best teams from the last two Baptism of Fires in Backwardistan and Cafundeu. Salwinia and The Deathbat Republic will remain in the last two spots but the rest is up for grabs. Expect Spaam to move to the top with Oliverry holding second. The Lowland Clans will just hold off Andossa Se Mitrin Vega for the fourth spot. Cafundeu, who is still smarting from the upset loss to Dumania, will take their anger out in rocketing up to fifth in the group. That means the mice will slide down to sixth and Backwardistan will be the last of the good teams in seventh.

Next up is our surfing hosts in group 3. This group is a lot of mediocrity.

Alexandrian Ptolemais (UR)
Bushes Been Quaked (95)
Vilita (33)
Race Track (142)
New Montreal States (6)
Dance 2 Revolution (44)
Quakmybush (21)
Anastasiania (65)
Kericia (60)

New Montreal States came agonizingly close to a championship and will look to build on that fine performance. Considering the group they shouldn't have a big problem. Amazingly Quakmybush is the second seed but expect Vilita to pass them for that spot. Anastasiania will take advantage of the continuing downfall of Dance 2 Revolution to move to fourth and Kericia similarly to get to fifth. However Bushes Been Quaked will stay in 7th. Alexandrian Ptolemais will beat Race Track out to stay off the bottom.

Group 2 contains Vilita's partner nation Turori and another friend of Az-cz in Elves Security Force.

Group 2:
Krytenia (2)
Commerce Heights (11)
Bostopia (98)
The HURD (192)
Alasdair I Frosticus (70)
Nomadasia (155)
Turori (27)
Ropa-Topia (57)
Elves Security Forces (45)

Krytenia and Commerce Heights are too close to determine. Both teams ought to hold off their challengers, and Krytenia ought to have enough to stay top. With the cup being moved away from Vilita we expect the Turorians to lose the will to succeed and we call Elves Security Force pipping them out for the third spot. Alasdair I Frosticus moves into fifth behind them and Ropa-Topia holds on to sixth. Bostopia benefits from the weakness of their opponents to hold seventh and Nomadasia does the same with eighth. The HURD is just a bad team and will get crushed by everyone.

Group 8 has the misfortune of being home to four qualifiers from last world cup.

Voskadouria (UR)
Errinundera (31)
Demot (43)
Rorysville (51)
Commerce Heights JSY (89)
Paleoslavia (154)
Squornshelous (1)
Rejistania (13)
Haraki (61)

Squornshelous, as the defending champs and new world #1 is clearly the team to beat to top the group. Rejistania has fallen back some but should still get second. The third spot is a tough battle between two surprise qualifiers from last time. We think that it will be close but that Errinundera will play to rank and get back to the cup. Haraki will pass Rorysville, and in fact so will Commerce Heights JSY. Rorysville will stabilize in seventh with Paleoslavia in 8th and Voskadouria in 9th.

Group 6 hosts the fourth suprise qualifier from last cup in Aurendia.

Group 6:
Casari (8)
Choobie International (129)
New Propaganida (UR)
Spindomia (72)
Fmjphoenix (22)
Noremark (109)
Marceau State (55)
Spruitland (20)
Aurendia (38)

After a great Qualification Casari struggled in the cup proper with losses to us and Oliverry keeping them out of the second round. They will clearly be back with a vengance and again dominate their qualifying group. Spruitland, Fmjphoenix and Aurendia will battle for the other two spots. I think Aurendia continues to suprise and takes home second place and Spruitland holds off Fmjphoenix sending them to a second consecutive Cup of Harmony, where they'll have a chance to defend their title. Noremark will turn heads by moving to fifth, with Spindomia in sixth and Marceau State in 7th. New Propaganida will be 8th and Choobie International will struggle in international play finishing 9th.

Group 10 sees another Atlantian Oceania power and our rivals from last time Tynelia.

Group 10:
Dumania (110)
Dorian and Sonya (64)
The Gold TyGrr (178)
Yafor 2 (53)
Cuation (26)
Bettia (15)
Seckland (UR)
Tynelia (37)
Jeruselem (10)

Jeruselem will take first with Bettia nipping at their heels in second. Expect Tynelia to rise up past Cuation to earn their first qualification. Yafor 2 slides into fifth, and Dorian & Sonya in sixth. Dumania will take seventh but won't improve much on their Baptism of Fire championship. Seckland will have enough to get past the insane people of The Gold TyGrr.

Group 7 is the one group without a real Atlantian Oceania presence.

Group 7:
Qazox (29)
Florida Oranges (UR)
Assegai Developments (102)
Schiavonia (14)
Ariddia (9)
Stromboland (176)
Wentland (42)
Lisburn Mateys (50)
The Mushroom Kingship (74)

Although group 8 also has no Atlantian Oceania teams sitting in qualifying spots, Demot is at least a challenge for qualification. Here the only Atlantian Oceania team is The Mushroom Kingship, and they won't be coming close. Schiavonia will earn first and Ariddia will finish second. Wentland will suprise Qazox and knock them out of the top three. Lisburn Mateys will come in fifth. From there expect the group to play to seeds.

As for our early pick for semifinalists, we're choosing one host to make the final four. Our early guesses are Milchama, Bazalonia, Jeruselem and Casari as the four semifinalists. We'll say that Milchama and Casari will make the finals and that Casari will earn their second championship by denying Milchama a win on home soil. Bazalonia will trump Jeruselem in the third place game.

QAZOXIAN TIMES

We as predicted, the was a re-Draw and now Qazox has 2 higher ranked teams to contend with, but also a couple more punching bags (we hope). We're not gonna re-do our picks, as we still think, no matter which group our picks are now are in, they'd still qualify. So He're our Re-done group and Group picks-

Group 7:
Qazox (29) Prediction: 3rd
Florida Oranges (UR) Prediction: 9th
Assegai Developments (102) Prediction: 8th
Schiavonia (14) Prediction: 2nd
Ariddia (9) Prediction: 1st
Stromboland (176) Prediction: 7th
Wentland (42) Prediction: 4th
Lisburn Mateys (50) Prediction: 5th
The Mushroom Kingship (74) Prediction: 6th

And our New Schedule:

MD01: BYE
MD02: BYE
MD03: vs. The Mushroom Kingship
MD04: @ Ariddia
MD05: vs. Lisburn Mateys
MD06: vs. Wentland
MD07: @ Assegai Developments
MD08: vs. Schiavonia
MD09: @ Florida Oranges
MD10: vs Stromboland
MD11: BYE
MD12: BYE
MD13: @ The Mushroom Kingship
MD14: vs. Ariddia
MD15: @ Lisburn Mateys
MD16: @ Wentland
MD17: vs Assegai Developments
MD18: @ Schiavonia
MD19: vs Florida Oranges
MD20: @ Stromboland

The 1st half of the schedule looks easy with 5 home matches, but the road match on Day 3 against Ariddia is the key game. If we can win, we'll seta tone for the whole group. Our women's team rivals Wentland is in our group, and they woul dlike to avenge our two beat-downs of them in the Women's World Cup finals. Shiavonia is a power, and should be tough to beat. Other than those three, the other challenges will come from Lisburn Mateys, who have beaten us once before and TMK, who are a good young team. It will be tough, but the Black Oxen were in a tougher group last qualifing and almost won it. The Black Oxen are most certainly looking forward to the matches against Assegai Developments, who were in our group 4 years ago. Qazox set a record with a 10-0 blasting of AI in the fianl match day, and hope to get the same result.

THE MONASTIC TIMES

WORLD CUP RE-DRAW CAUSES CONTROVERSY
"Let He Who Is Without Sin Cast the First Stone" Says Official

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

World Cup 32 co-hosts Milchama and Geisenfried were at the centre of a major controversy overnight as logistical complications forced tournament organisers to re-draw the qualifying groups.

In a further sign of how much has changed at MFA HQ, however, a senior archimandrite - speaking on the usual condition of anonymity - simply noted that "These things happen to the best of us; 'let he who is without sin cast the first stone' as our Lord and Saviour said. Personally, I like no longer feeling the pressure of being the group's top seeds."

When reminded that the last the Archregimancy was drawn against Starblaydia caused considerable concern over a possible anti-Orthodox Catholic conspiracy, the same official merely noted "Things are a little different around MFA HQ these days. We only pay attention to real anti-Orthodox conspiracies - not made up ones existing solely in the heads of a few over-excited archpriests. Metropolitan Kyrill of Solovetsky, the World Cup Committee Vice-President, is in frequent contact with officials from Starblaydia, and believes them to be fine folk, if a little careless with their immortal souls. And anyway, anyone can see they're a team in decline."

Mediocre my a**!

Az-Cz going down like a drunken 90-old ascending a mountain with two bad hips

Alright, we can't quite get at them. Yet. But here's our new set of foes:

Alexandrian Ptolemais (UR) - These guys sound oddly familiar. Huh.
Bushes Been Quaked (95) - These guys don't.
Vilita (33) - These guys sure do. They're trying to reclaim a spot in the sun, right after the Paladins launched themselves back into it. Watch out.
Race Track (142) - As opposed to a soccer pitch. Are we going to have to avoid angry throughbreds on top of everything else?
New Montreal States (6) - (6) setatS leartnoM weN
Dance 2 Revolution (44) - They're good, they should be looked out for, they should threaten to qualify, etc.
Quakmybush (21) - See above.
Anastasiania (65) - See above.
Kericia (60)

Demot Daily ~ Phooie

After originally having a managable group draw, the Dynamo now find themselves in a increadably more difficult group following a redraw due to scheduling problems. What once looked like a chance to repeat appearances in the the Proper, now looks like the Dynamo will be struggling to be in the top half of the group. While the squad can point fingers and blame bad hosts for this problem, they are instead taking the ignitative, and looking forward to the unique challange of having to face off against three strongers sides, instead of just the two as they had been planning for the last few weeks. Now onto this dreaded group:

Group 8:
Voskadouria (UR)
Errinundera (31)
Demot (43)
Rorysville (51)
Commerce Heights JSY (89)
Paleoslavia (154)
Squornshelous (1)
Rejistania (13)
Haraki (61)

The reigning champ of Squornshelous are the clearly the most prominent threat and squad likely to take all six points in the two encounters the squads have. Riding that momentum that allowed them to take the crown, there is little doubt that they will have much trouble qualifying. Rejistania jumps out next, as the group's 2nd seed, as the other squad that is heads and tails above the rest of the competition. Although they have been underperforming the last little bit, their talent alone should be enough to see them right on through to the Proper. Then things get a little muddled as to whom the 3rd and final qualifying spot will go to. If you go solely on rank, Errinundera should make it. But the game is not played by ranks or on paper, it is played out on the pitch where anything can happen. The Rinundas have a talented squad, but so does Haraki, Rorysville, and our Dynamo. It is this reporter's biased opinion that sees Demot pull through, using the strength and expierence they have acheived by playing in the AOCAF and other regional tournaments.

Predicitons
Squornshelous
Rejistania
Demot
Errinundera
Haraki
Rorysville
Commerce Heights JSY
Paleoslavia
Voskadouria

Schedule
MD01: Demot v Az-Cz @ ???
MD02: Demot v Rejistania @ Skyhaven Citadel
MD03: Paleoslavia v Demot @ ???
MD04: Bye
MD05: Errinundera v Demot @ New Glumbog
MD06: Demot v Haraki @ Skyhaven Citadel
MD07: Demot v Voskadouria @ Skyhaven Citadel
MD08: Commerce Heights JSY v Demot @ JPL Paladin Stadium
MD09: Squornshelous v Demot @ ???
MD10: Demot v Rorysville @ Skyhaven Citadel
MD11: ESF v Demot @ Hatire Memorial
MD12: Rejistania v Demot @
MD13: Demot v Paleoslavia @ Skyhaven Citadel
MD14: Bye
MD15: Demot v Errinundera @ Skyhaven Citadel
MD16: Haraki v Demot @ ???
MD17: Voskadouria v Demot @ ???
MD18: Demot v Commerce Heights JSY @ Skyhaven Citadel
MD19: Demot v Squornshelous @ Skyhaven Citadel
MD20: Rorysville v Demot @ ???

Article by Jasmine Olyvander

It wasn't a particularly odd sight for the floodlights to be on at National Stadium at all hours of the day and night- all it took was a deal for some schmucks to be the "Offical Electricity Provider" of the national team to give them free reign to cause all the environmental damage and light pollution that they cared to.

The coach had decided he needed a day to stroll the field and get used to it. He'd coached plenty of matches on it, and even coached matches against international competition on it, but the National Team job was Career Poison if you didn't treat it with kindness and the respect that it deserved. Because One Hundred and Fifty Million soccer fanatics could have definate impacts on your life expectancy if you didn't keep them happy.

After entering as coach, Reg wasn't looking to make any particular changes away from what had always worked well in the past. Almost to the person the team was set to return for another go after the disappointing turn last time, and they were all used to the system that was going to be run.

But that's no reason to not be nervous about it.

Making his way back to the office, however, the sounds of two people cursing each other out floating down the hall at 12:30 at night has a way of making someone stop and think.

Two interns were sitting on a table in the break room, playing some ancient looking video game console on an old nineteen inch TV, all while cursing the moment the other was born.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Reg asked, scratching his head.

"Playing World Cup Football Nineteen." One said.

"The series is at 23-21." said the second intern, drinking a bottle of water.

"But I'm heading to tie it up." the first said again, twisting the controller in a vain attempt to get the player to run faster. Of course, the poor badly-rendered Bedistani couldn't, and the referee's whistle sounded.

"Ha, 23-22. I'm on a rally. You just can't stop me."

"You're just delaying paying me that one hundred selaris."

"How can I be delaying it, there's more than six hours left."

Reg slowly inched his way away from the door and down the hall to his office. "These people are bloody mad." he said, grabbing his jacket and heading for the elevator.

Joe Gurt recieved the fax that contained the new group draws for the World Cup...

"WHAT THE %^%&^& HELL??" Joe screamed at the messenger from Geisenfried.

"I..I..I..." Stammered the messenger, not knowing exactly to whom he was talking to.

"TELL THOSE ^*&^%*@%, ^&^*&^&* THAT I'M GONNA ^*&^*& THEIR MOTHERS AND AFTER THAT I'M GONNA *(*&&*^*&*^&*^ THEIR WIVES, DUAGHTERS, SISTERS, AND ANY OTHER FEMALE I SEE THERE" Joe Gurt yelled as the messenger left the room, with a giant piss-spot on his pants.

Joe stomped around his holding cell and threw everything he could that wasn't nailed down around the room. Unfortunately that was the toilet and the system just then decided to back filling the holding cell with raw sewage.

"GREAT.. JUST $%^&*(@ GREAT."

Elven Times
Falling on the Sword

Group 2:
Krytenia (2)
Commerce Heights (11)
Bostopia (98)
The HURD (192)
Alasdair I Frosticus (70)
Nomadasia (155)
Turori (27)
Ropa-Topia (57)
Elves Security Forces (45)

The Marauders are amongst many a squad who find themselves complaining after the bizzarre circumstances that forced the hosts to redraw the groups for the qualification phase. In their original group, the Marauders merely needed to win the matches they were supposed to, and then pull off one upset in order to make their first trip to the Proper, but now, it looks like a daunting task to escape with a top half performance. The Marauders see the familar faces of Krytenia and the Unified Capitalzt States, whom were in their qualifying group four years again, and Turori, those wierd creatures whom the Marauders battled with eight years back. If those three squads alone were not enough of a challange, the squad must also vie with Ropa-Topia and Alasdair I Frosticus, both very capable sqauds looking to climb the ranks with impressive victories, the hopes of which our the Marauders. The only sure points in this group for the navy clad elves are Bostopia, The HURD, and Nomadasia, all of which are fresh blood looking to pay their dues and move up in the world. The task is once again increadably difficult for our squad, and the outlook is very bleak. After coming soo close to qualifying last tournament, will this squad finally be able to break through? Or will the oppurtunities missed kill the physque of the team, and prevent them from getting into the Finals as they so righteously deserve? 20 matchdays from now will tell that tale, until then, the squad is looking for a warm up friendly before the qualifying begins, as they have already scheduled Demot to visit the Hatire Memorial at the half way stage. All challangers are welcome, so long as the match will be played in the ESF.

Article by Luna Santapa
Edited by Ron Santapa

The Enlightener: are we bovvered?
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/FAB.jpg

Time To Pull Our Socks Up

Confusion reigns in the land of the World Cup, but are we bothered? No, not really - after all, these are confusing times in general, what with the re-emergence of the giant ants on our shores (but seemingly on our side this time) and with rumours abounding of a secret puppet-colony type-place set to be announced some time soon by the government.

But anyway, that's not why we're here, is it? Nah, we're here for the World Cup and, after a slight mix-up in the group draws resulted in a FAB secretary going slightly loopy after putting in a sterling five-minute burst of effort into drawing up a fixture list, complete with smiley faces and cartoon flowers, the latest group draw makes for interesting, albeit slightly nervy reading.

Why?

Because Bettia are no longer the top seeds in our group? Partially, although our matchups with the mighty Jerusalem should whip up a lot of interest, both here and over the border in Nedalia. Of course, it's not just Jerusalem we need to worry about, as the Aroras have been placed in a very tough looking group containing many familiar names. The obligatory Atlantian Oceania derby match comes in the shape of Dorian & Sonya, who the Aroras have met on the regional stage but never in the World Cup.

No World Cup would be complete without the obligatory 'team-that-we-played-in-the-last-World-Cup' - this time around we have two. The first are Cuation, a team who we narrowly lost to in a seven-goal thriller in the first round of the finals in Vilita. Second are Yafor 2, a team we beat at home and lost to away in the qualifying stages. Another familiar team are Tynelia, whom the Aroras faced in World Cups 27 and 30, coming away with 3 wins and a draw.

So how will the group finish? Don't ask us. It really is too close to call, and besides, we don't do predictions cos our predictions invariably end up in disaster. As long as plenty of goals are scored, who cares?

COME ON YOU 'RORAS!!


Fixtures

Home games shown in bold.

MD01: -
MD02: Cuation
MD03: The Gold TyGrr (Shubunkin Park, Akani Sands)
MD04: Tynelia (Tiddles Park, Gabalfa)
MD05: Seckland
MD06: Yafor 2
MD07: -
MD08: Dorian & Sonya (Tiddles Park, Gabalfa)
MD09: Jerusalem (Tiddles Park, Gabalfa)
MD10: Dumania
MD11: -
MD12: Cuation (Tiddles Park, Gabalfa)
MD13: The Gold TyGrr
MD14: Tynelia
MD15: Seckland (Campus Ground, Grappenhall)
MD16: Yafor 2 (Tiddles Park, Gabalfa)
MD17: -
MD18: Dorian & Sonya
MD19: Jerusalem
MD20: Dumania (Al-Fath Stadium, Sukatra)

News item from the Malinns Cosmos On Line

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/MalinnsCosmos.jpg
We aim high

GENDERQUEER CONFUSION

Militant organisation the Genderqueer Liberation Movement was today reduced to indecision and impotence when events beyond its control made a mockery of its provocative move to send 5,000 fans to The Archregimancy.

Movement convenor, uprightoo, has called an extraordinary general meeting to plan a response to the unexpected developments. “It’s as if the whole world has conspired against us,” says a perplexed uprightoo. “First, The Archregimancy announces they will welcome us in a spirit of love and charity. They talk about pastoral sensitivity and inclusive tolerance. I set up Genderqueer Travel Ltd and suddenly no-one wants to go. They’ve just sent me broke.”

If that wasn’t bad enough the Cup hosts have announced a complete re-organisation of the draw. “We aren’t even playing the monks,” complains uprightoo. “Instead we get current champions Squornshelous. What’s so interesting about that? I was so looking forward to burning down a stadium or two.”

In a related development, the Bonang City Council has cancelled the nude day of protest for what would have been the home game against the monks. The director of the Bonang Central Hospital is relieved. “This is already shaping up to be a blazingly hot summer," says marianel. "100,000 merry, naked supporters spending several hours in the sun would have overloaded our burns unit. Mind you, I think the players are going to be severely dehydrated.”

The Aeropag Tribune—It’s the majority, so it must be the best!

Sports: SLANI, 자스연 (Jasīʼyūn) to settle stadium dispute with friendly
PRONTERA, CH—It’s the longest qualification schedule in the history of the World Cup. Twenty days to play sixteen matches and up to four friendlies. Plenty of time for the big teams to come to town on separate days, right?
Wrong.
Perennial underperformers 자스연 (Jasīʼyūn) got handed one of the worst possible schedules, facing defending world champions Squornshelous in their second competitive match. Capitalizt SLANI got handed their second straight schedule involving second-ranked Krytenia, extending a series in which there has been an average of less than twelve minutes between goals. In addition, they filled in their byes on matchdays 3 and 13 by arranging matches with third-ranked Bedistan, who will likely add two more 0–3 losses to SLANI’s record.
So, when it came time to arrange venues for their matches, what did 자스연 (Jasīʼyūn) write down? Matchday 13, Squornshelous, Sokojito Überdome.
And what did SLANI write? Matchday 13, Bedistan, Sokojito Überdome.
Once the conflict became known to them, SLANI wrote down a plan so illogical that only a Casaran could have devised it: Matchday 0, 자스연, Unity Stadium. The 혜성즈 (Hyesūŋjī) accepted—winner goes to the Überdome on matchday 13, loser goes to CDA Stadium in New Seoul.
May the team with the most supporters win!

—————

Capitalizt SLANI schedule

MD00: (friendly) vs 자스연 (Jasīʼyūn)—Unity Stadium, International City [75 000]
MD01: (friendly) vs The Mice of Miceland—Aeropag Olympic Stadium, Aeropag [107 596]
MD02: vs Elves Security Forces—JPL Paladin Stadium, Port Lusambo [128 400]
MD03: (friendly) at Bedistan
MD04: at The HURD
MD05: vs Bostopia—Anaphase Alchemy Stadium, Sonoma Center [81 067]
MD06: at Ropa-Topia—Unity Stadium, Isle of Uhm [72 000]
MD07: vs Turori—CDA Stadium, New Seoul [173 205]
MD08: at Nomadasia
MD09: vs Krytenia—Sokojito Überdome, 소코지토 도시 (Sokojito Dosi) [400 552]
MD10: vs Alasdair I Frosticus—Capitalizm, 유포 (ʼYupo) [161 803]

MD11: (friendly) at The Mice of Miceland
MD12: at Elves Security Forces—Hatire Memorial [56 000]
MD13: (friendly) vs Bedistan—TBA
MD14: vs The HURD—Drakcorp Stadium, Querzakhi [87 403]
MD15: at Bostopia
MD16: vs Ropa-Topia—Aeropag Olympic Stadium, Aeropag [107 596]
MD17: at Turori
MD18: vs Nomadasia—Keto Olympic Stadium, 케토 (Keto) [65 535]
MD19: at Krytenia
MD20: at Alasdair I Frosticus

자스연 (Jasīʼyūn) schedule

MD00: (friendly) at Capitalizt SLANI—Unity Stadium, International City [75 000]
MD01: bye or friendly
MD02: vs Paleoslavia—Aeropag Olympic Stadium, Aeropag [107 596]
MD03: at Squornshelous
MD04: vs Voskadouria—Keto Olympic Stadium, 케토 (Keto) [65 535]
MD05: vs Haraki—CDA Stadium, New Seoul [173 205]
MD06: bye or friendly
MD07: at Rejistania
MD08: vs Demot—JPL Paladin Stadium, Port Lusambo [128 400]
MD09: at Rorysville
MD10: at Errinundera

MD11: bye or friendly
MD12: at Paleoslavia
MD13: vs Squornshelous—TBA
MD14: at Voskadouria
MD15: at Haraki
MD16: bye or friendly
MD17: vs Rejistania—Capitalizm, 유포 (ʼYupo) [161 803]
MD18: at Demot—Skyhaven Citadel [57 000]
MD19: vs Rorysville—Aeropag Olympic Stadium, Aeropag [107 596]
MD20: vs Errinundera—JPL Paladin Stadium, Port Lusambo [128 400]

—————

OOC: Any nation wishing to challenge 자스연 (Jasīʼyūn) to a friendly (or two) is welcome to do so.

“YOU IDIOTS! Do you have any clue what you just did?” Tynelain Soccer Federation President Milt Milford yelled at the duo sitting across the desk from him.

“We did our jobs sir.” Mike McPhee replied, “We took a look at our WC32 grouping like we do every cup. What’s the problem?”

“The problem? THE PROBLEM?!? Just the minor detail that you were looking at the wrong damned Cup!” Milford yelled

“Wrong Cup sir?” Dana Lee asked confused.

“Yes the wrong Cup you Tom Cruise wannabee, why didn’t you start jumping up and down on your chair while you were frothing at the mouth last program. You gave the whole world the predictions for the SIM CUP not the real one. Programmers have been working on this for years where you could create a new nation from scratch and put it up against established teams from around the world. The computer would figure out who wins and loses and you go from there. You got the brackets from the demo version before full shipping begins next week.”

“Oops.” Mike replied shamefaced

“Yeah oops, you know what sort of laughingstock we are in the international press after going live with this? Soccer ratings have gone down the toilet for years now, but we were finally starting to get a little respect from the world press, a couple of nations even think we’re going to qualify this time. And you two come out with this.” Milt went on. “And what the hell kind of support do you call that Dana? ‘we’re not going to make it because we never do.’ Is that supposed to make people want to watch these matches?”

“No sir, I was just frustrated.” Dana replied.

“Doesn’t cut it Lee. We have to make some changes here and we start here. You’re both fired! Now get out so I can look for someone that doesn’t seem like an idiot. Get out and send in Wheatley.”

“But…”

“OUT! Don’t make me get security.”

<Mike and Dana leave the office heads hanging and TSF vice president Joan Wheatley comes in>

“You take care of things there Milt?”

“Yeah they’re history but where are we going to find some people to take over on such short notice Joan?”

“How about O’Meara? His Coach’s Corner did OK last time we ran it.”

“Too old, we need something hip to bring in the viewers. I mean look at that Dazza Dallas in Jerusalem and The Soccer Life. Young, hip and sexy, it’s always one of the top drawing shows there.”

“Yes Milt but Dazza is also a player on the team, none of our players have that sort of showbusiness sense except for Masterson and he’s too old.”

“How about Collins? She was Tynelia’s sexiest athlete for a while?”

“Six months pregnant with her second child, I already thought of her. Besides she’s getting up there too so wouldn’t be what you’re looking for Milt.”

“So we need someone else, a fresh face then to bring in the young viewers like Harmonie did when we first started out here Joan.”

“Well someone a bit smarter hopefully, Harmonie almost started a war with the Kazoo incident a few years back. And we need someone with some kind of experience that actually knows what they are talking about here but still young enough to get the women to watch too.”

“Good point, too bad we couldn’t get the budget to actually carry each show live from the venue. Would have been good visibility for us.”

“Well we need to come up with something Milt.”

“I’ll get it done Joan, don’t you worry.”

“You’d better otherwise you’ll have to go crawling back to get Mike and Dana back.”



Tynelia In Tough Group

With the World Cup 32 draw in place Tynelia finds itself ranked 4th in their group of nine but six teams in fact look to be strong contenders for the three qualification spots. Tynelia faces a tough top two seeds in 10th ranked Jerusalem and a familiar 15th ranked Bettia team we’ve faced twice before in group play with only one draw to our credit. Next comes an always dangerous 26th ranked Cuation squad which looks to be the team’s biggest challenge in qualifying. However if the team slips up 53rd ranked Yafor 2 or 64th ranked Dorian and Sonya are waiting to jump past us in the standings. The three remaining teams don’t look to offer much trouble to any of the top six squads.

Coach Adam Billington in what is rumored to be his final go at the World Cup seems cautiously optimistic of the team’s chances.

“Well the only squad we’ve faced before is Bettia and we finally managed to break through with a draw in our last meeting after three straight defeats. We did push them to the final day of group play before they could finally clinch the spot so I think with a lot of returning veterans from that team we can do well against them here. Jeruselem is another tough squad , always seems to make it to the round of 16. It will be an interesting challenge for us.

“But Cuation, Yafor 2 and Dorian and Sonya are all teams that we feel that we can both beat and be beaten by. Each of these matches will be tough and will probably decide the final qualification spot based on who comes out ahead in our head to head matches. This will be a hard fought run to the last day. Fortunately for us we face unranked Seckland on the last day. Cuation and D&S go head to head and Yafor 2 has a fairly easy draw with The Gold TyGrr though so we need to make sure we have an edge going into that match.”

Billington had this to say when questioned about fatigue for the team given their past history of midway scoring droughts which ruined their chances in the past.

“The past is the past, right now I’m excited to see all the scoring options we have on the field. Can never go wrong with a MacDougal on offense and we have two this year to go with Jakes. And I expect the ‘Grand Old Man’ Masterson still has a few goals left in his legs. We should be fine on offense.”

Recent oddsmakers came up with the following numbers of each team’s qualifying chances. Note as three qualifying spots are in effect the percentages add up to 300% rather than 100% given 3 teams are named in the poll.

Jeruselem- 96.1%
Bettia- 89.7%
Cuation- 36.2%
Dorian and Sonya- 29.1%
Tynelia- 24.3%
Yafor 2- 21.2%
Dumania- 2.1%
The Gold TyGrr- 1.1%
Seckland-.2%

Announcement from the Errinundera Football Association

World Cup 32 Qualifying Fixture

Match day 1: Friendly TBA
Match day 2: Haraki at The National Downfall Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#National_Downfall_Stadium) in First Creek Falls
Match day 3: Bye
Match day 4: Rorysville, away
Match day 5: Demot at New Glumbog (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#New_Glumbog) in Rodger River
Match day 6: Rejistania, away
Match day 7: Squornshelous at The B.C.G. (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#The_B.C.G._.28Bonang_Cricket_Ground.29) in Bonang
Match day 8: Paleoslavia, away
Match day 9: Voskadouria at The B Triple R (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#The_B_Triple_R_.28Bemm_River_Recreation_Reserve.29) in Bemm River
Match day 10: Commerce Heights JSY at Frosty Hollow (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#Frosty_Hollow) in Rooty Break
Match day 11: Friendly TBA
Match day 12: Haraki, away
Match day 13: Bye
Match day 14: Rorysville at The Cavern (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#The_Cavern) in Mount Ellery
Match day 15: Demot, away
Match day 16: Rejistania at Liberation Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#Liberation_Stadium) in McKillops Bridge
Match day 17: Squornshelous, away
Match day 18: Paleoslavia at Ootopia Forest (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Errinundera%27s_NSWC_Football_Grounds#Ootopia_Forest) in Fanny Moo
Match day 19: Voskadouria, away
Match day 20: Commerce Heights JSY, away - JPL Paladin Stadium (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Port_Lusambo_Paladins), Port Lusambo

All Change!

Controversy as hit the world cup as the failure of the hosts to have the stadium’s ready means that the short groups have been changed to big ones that will take a lot longer to finish so buying time. Those that saw the original draw say Cuation were the second best team and looked set to qualify but this group looks far harder.

Three spaces are open to qualify but group ten has two places as good as taken. Jeruselem and Bettia will not be easy to dislodge and our history against those two tends to involve the Cuation team getting beaten but we did beat Bettia 4-3 in the last world cup. This wouldn't be so bad if we could be sure of third place but Tynelia, former giants Yafor 2 and Dorian and Sonya will be in with strong claims for third.

Anyway here is our group 10 analysis:

MD1 and 11: Friendlies

Our first one should be easy as Cuation face new comers New Propaganida, a win could see Cuation overcome world cup blues but anything else will see worries of inconsistency remerge. We still seek an opponent for game 11 but there is hope that it will be against New Montreal States

Bettia(15) MD 2(h) and 12(a)

Eleven places ahead of us, we have overcome those kind of odds before but Bettia qualified into the knock outs, we didn't and we have never gone further then any round that we face Bettia. We do have a good record against Bettia, we have played them three times and have won once, drawn once and lost once. Playing them twice in WC28 qualification, we got a 2-2 home draw and a 4-3 away defeat, in WC30 group stage, we managed to win 4-3. The two matches should be excellent to watch if past history is anything to go by.

Both sides will look to qualify and points here may well be vital for both teams. Bettia's strong all out attack will severely test out the 5 man Cuation defence. Lu Fei will have to hold the ball up well as Cuation look to hit Bettia on the break. Cuation needs Butcher and Cole to shut out wingers Kurniawan and Vaughan.

Bettia attacking 3-2-2-3 or Cuation's defensive 5-1-3-1? I think Cuation will nick a home win but get thrashed away in Tiddles Park. Cuation will expect at least one point out of six, anything else is a bonus. Bettia will probably finish second but Bettia always finish above Cuation, always Cuation going out.

Seckland(UR) MD 3(a) and 13(h)

Ideal team to face after such a hard game, they are the group whipping boys, this would be an ideal time for Cuation's players to rack up the goal difference. Rual will be fighting for his place with this game, a hatrick is expected from him.

We will get six points and Seckland finish bottom.

Dumania(110) MD 4(a) and 14(h)

This could be a tricky game, Dumania are fellow BoF champions having lost only one game, but have a tough time ahead, it may take awhile to get used to this level. Even more defensive then us, they play a 4-2-2-3 formation that may see them exposed on the flanks. Keeper Quintin Taljard saved a penalty in the final and may have to perform more heroics this campaign.

Cuation can not afford a slip up against a team 84 places below them, Cuation should get six points while Dumania look to push away from the bottom three but fail.

Jeruselem (10) MD 5(h) and 15 (a)

Giants of the game, sixteen places ahead of us, but have never got to the final of the world cup and I'm not sure they have got to the semis either. We played them in WC27 qualification, getting a 1-1 draw away but losing 3-2 at home. Both sides have improved since then, Cuation markedly so but it won't be any easier.

They play an attacking 4-4-2 with so many good players that it is hard to pick just one to watch. Any point we get is a bonus but it isn't unknown for Cuation to pull off an upset so maybe Cuation can even get a home win. Can't see Jeruselem failing to finish in the top two but for Cuation, this is the start of a painfully difficult run.

MD 6 and 16

Bye Days that will provide Cuation players with much needed rest after having exhausted themselves in the last game. The Cuation FA may try to arrange friendlies to fill the coffers.

Tynelia (37) MD 7(a) and 17(h)

The first time that we face Tynelia in this competition but Tynelia have been closed to qualifying in the last two qualifiers. Cuation fans will have sympathy, it took us a long time to get through, and the question may be simply if Tynelia has the nerve in the run in.

Some newspapers have claimed Tynelia will pip Cuation to third place and they are certainly Cuation's biggest challengers but if one of the top two slip up, Cuation and Tynelia may both go through. Only eleven places behind, Tynelia have a tricky run in, they should brush aside Dumania at home, a tricky away tie against Dorian and Sonya, away tie with us, play Jeruselem at home then go away to Seckland on the last day that may prove vital.

Manager Adam Billington may be here for a last hurrah, a move that backfired on Jude Takerath but could work here. Playing in a defensive manner, the 3-2-3-2 formation may have too many attackers and not enough midfielders but Tynelia might look to overrun Cuation's 5-3-2.

This may be the vital two matches and Cuation will hope to gain four points but three would be fine, anything less risks disaster. Final placing? Third or fourth, depending where we finish.

The Gold TyGrr (178) MD 8(h) and 18(a)

Newcomers, played in the BoF but failed to make it past the group stage with only one win to show for their efforts. Playing 4-4-2, they should be easily overcome by Cuation, expect six points against a team 142 ranks below us. Says a lot for our run in that our easy one is an away game, TGT will be lucky to avoid the wooden spoon.

Yafor 2 (53) MD 9(a) and 19(h)

It seems a long time since an exhausted Cuation lost to Yafor 2 in the Cup of Harmony semi-final. Since then, they have stayed in the 50's area while Cuation has progressed; Cuation will settle for four points but probably will need six. Should not be underestimated, this team qualified for WC30 but will only finish 6th.

Dorian and Sonya (64) MD 10(a) and 20(h)

This team from a magical land is one of the most popular teams in Cuation, they will be sure of a good reception, this will the first world cup that these teams have faced off in. Cuation may very well need to win the last game to qualify, Cuation can not afford inconstancy here, Cuation need six points but will probably only get three against a team we hope will finish 5th.

Out of Luck

Report by Amy Bystander, Commonwealth News

As relitive newcomers to the NSWC Fort Europe had been extremely pleased with the orgional draw, though chances of qualification were slight at best the players and suporters were mildly confident of performing well in what was probably one of the closest groups in the draw. The re-draw however has dampened the mood somewhat, with the initail responce of an immediate repeal being dismissed by the Commonwealth Sports Council. Needless to say the people of Fort Europe arn't happy with the new draw, but the team have pledged that they will not go down without a fight. Now rated as the worst rated team of eight, with the ninth an unknown quantity in the equasion, Fort Europe expect an uphill struggle against these superior teams. Everyone admits that it was going to be a tough competition to begin with, however the struggle now will be directed towards saving face and trying not to look too stupid on such a prestigeous stage. On a more positive note however, it appears that the reputation of our great nation's team has made an impact on some of their competition already.

I expect to see Fort Europe well overperform there rankings

Fort Europe would like to formally thank the people of Az-Cz for this kind comment, and have no intention of doing otherwise. We can give no marks for spelling or grammer, however Fort Europe's team manager, Stuart Moss did extend his own thanks and wished the Az-Cz team well in the tournement, adding that he would every much look forward to playing against them in the knockout stages of the cup. Clearly Moss's own confidence in his team's ability hasn't been hit as hard as some of his supporters. Co-hosts of this year's Baptism of Fire tournement, Az-Cz have been drawn in group 1 and are cirtain to do well in the tournement.

Fort Europe go into Group 9 as underdogs and are expected to struggle to pick up points however Moss and his players are confident that their team will pervail and be able to build upon what can only be described as a bad draw for the team. The world number five seed team, Starblaydia will be their toughest opponants, with the others in the group likely to be chasing after second and third spots for the chance to qualify. In order to get some training Fort Europe have organised a friendly match against political allies and close rivals Elves Security Forces, a nation also from The YoungWorld region. The match has been scheduled for Match Day 01, to be played in ESF. Fort Europe have played against this team several times in the past few years with a mixed amount of success, however their last meeting was in final of the Mchuno Chombo cup hosted by The Interahamwe in their home city of Kigali, Fort Europe won the match in extra time with the only goal of the match to take the trophy. The Fort Europe team will be looking for a repeat performance in order to boost confidence ahead of their first group match. A full fixture list is below.

NSWC XXXII FIXTURES


MD01
Elves Security Forces v Fort Europe
Friendly @ Angelotic Temple

MD02
Raging Penguins v Fort Europe

MD03
Fort Europe v Starblaydia
@ Commonwealth Stadium

MD04
Fort Europe v Northern Caesarea
@ Commonwealth Stadium

MD05
Harlesburg v Fort Europe

MD06
Rordia v Fort Europe

MD07
Fort Europe - Bye

MD08
Fort Europe v Schnabo
@ Commonwealth Stadium

MD09
Fort Europe v The Archregimancy
@ Commonwealth Stadium

MD10
Spaamanian Plijous v Fort Europe

MD11
Friendly - TBC

MD12
Fort Europe v Raging Penguins
@ Commonwealth Stadium

MD13
Starblaydia v Fort Europe

MD14
Northern Caesarea v Fort Europe

MD15
Fort Europe v Harlesburg
@ Commonwealth Stadium

MD16
Fort Europe v Rordia
@ Commonwealth Stadium

MD17
Fort Europe - Bye

MD18
Schnabo v Fort Europe

MD19
The Archregimancy v Fort Europe

MD20
Fort Europe v Spaamanian Plijous
@ Commonwealth Stadium

http://www.btinternet.com/~david.boston/_bostopia/_worldcup/Channel9GroupsRedrawn.PNG

[Haelwen] Sire, does that say you were dancing naked, and you're going to "repent" for it?
[Boston] Yes, Haelwen. Congratulations on your reading ability.
[Haelwen] Thanks you si...oh...well, isn't being nude perfectly acceptable here?
[Boston] Of course it is, but the problem is that I was in the middle of Vladigrad City at the time. Dr.Vlad was most unpleased.
[Haelwen] And what does this have to do with the World Cup?
[Boston] I don't know. Apparently the Bostopia Sports Football 1 channel is doing a report on the teams in our group tomorrow, should they get the information.
[Haelwen] What're they saying about us, do you know?
[Boston] Well, we're the 7th highest team in the group, thanks to the new draw, and I believe they said something like we had no chance, then started crying.
[Haelwen] Ah.

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f141/DarthBunny/ns_stuff/sg-title.png
Controversy and relief in NSWC

The decision of NSWC XXXII hosts Geisenfried and Milchama to re-draw the qualifying groups, because they needed more time to finish building stadiums or something, has led to both controversy and relief. Controversy, because apparently several nations were not pleased with this decision, after they ended up in a new group that they perceive as being more difficult.

Coach Klungelaer of the Ropa-Topian team seemed to be very happy about the redraw however. "After the initial draw, I considered withdrawing from the World Cup. We were in the same group as the Raging Penguins, and those guys just send shivers down my spine. I am glad we won't have to face them now."

Sponsor Le Manchot Béton was also relieved by the decision. "Our company mascot and logo is a penguin. A peaceful, concrete, penguin. Any non-peaceful penguin, like a raging one, damages the image of our company. [...] Another advantage of this new schedule is that there are more matches, which allows us to earn more money from advertising of course."

The new group resulted in the following schedule:
Friendlies - None announced yet
Bostopia (away)
The HURD (home: Unity Stadium, North Field)
Nomadasia (away)
Krytenia (away)
Commerce Heights (home: Unity Stadium, North Field)
Alasdair I Frosticus (home: Unity Stadium, South Field)
Elves Security Forces (away)
bye
Turori (home: Unity Stadium, North Field)
Friendlies - None announced yet
Bostopia (home: Unity Stadium, South Field
The HURD (away)
Nomadasia (home: Unity Stadium, South Field)
Krytenia (home: Unity Stadium, North Field)
Commerce Heights (away)
Alasdair I Frosticus (away)
Elves Security Forces (home: Unity Stadium, South Field)
bye
Turori (away)

As can be seen in the schedule, all home matches are played at the Unity Stadium on the Isle of Uhm, Ropa-Topia.

What can be said about Ropa-Topia's opponents? Not a lot for most of them. Some of them are ranked higher, others are ranked lower. Only two of them Ropa-Topia has met on the field before. They played against Turori during the qualification stages of the previous World Cup, and both matches were lost. Hopefully that will be different this time around. The only other familiar team was met in just one game, that resulted in neither a win or a loss: a 1-1 draw in the most recent Cup of Harmony, against Elves Security Forces.

The Crimson Blade

Assegai Players Still Feel the Sting of Qazox

Calling the National Team of Assegai Developments “punching bags,” Qazox added that they look forward to the rematch between both squads, hoping “to get the same result” as they did four years ago, when they crushed Assegai at home, 10-0, setting the NS World Cup record.

“They said what?” asked a surprised Sidney Losstarot, Assegai’s starting striker. “That’s not even funny. Do they think we just sat around scratching our bums this whole time?”

A group of players grumbled their displeasure at the comments, which were posted on the bulletin board in the team’s dressing room early this morning.

“Hey, it’s not like we can just beat these guys, but, Hell, you’d expect a greater deal of respect from them,” said midfielder Agatha Denys angrily.

Quick-tempered forward Severus Snape unleashed a barrage of profanities before storming out of the dressing room.

“No. No...that’s cool,” said Assegai’s mellow team captain Ashley Riot. “They beat us pretty bad and they earned the right to call us whatever they want. However, it’s a new World Cup and we’re not the same doe-eyed team from last time. I know I’m speaking for all my teammates when I say that we’re looking forward to measuring up against Qazox. Bring them on.”

In other news...

The female members of the National Team (Alys Spicer, Agatha Denys, Samantha Neesa, Elizabeth Fenton and Callo Merlose) were all going to pose in sexy lingerie for a calendar to be handed out at Cathedral Park to all those who attend the first game of NSWC qualifying.

The Daily Quak
Real, True, Official World Cup XXXII Preview

Well, some errors, involving a chicken, a gerbil, a doctor, and a bad scorinator have lead to a redraw. We were re-drawn into a group with, Race Track (142), New Montreal States (6), Kericia (60), Dance 2 Revolution (44), Alexandrian Ptolemais (UR), Bushes Been Quaked (95), Vilita (33), and Anastasiania. Now a brief over view of all of the teams.

New Montreal States (6) - The sixth ranked team in the world, a point from this game would be nice. Never played them before.

Quakmybush (21) - We are the second seed, expected to qualify.

Vilita (33) - A very good team, expect them to do well. Hopefully four points. Never played them before.

Dance 2 Revolution (44) - A team that used to be near the top of the rankings, kinda sliding down the ladder. Atleast four points. Never played them before.

Kericia (60) - Never heard of them, six points is needed. Never played them before.

Anastasiania (65) - The "young padawan" of an old nation. Six points would be nice. Never played them before.

Bushes Been Quaked (95) - The founder of this country is a total tool, useless. We will win six points from them. Never played them before.

Race Track (142) - Ummm, maybe they should stick to NASCAR. Six points, please and thanks. Never played them before.

Alexandrian Ptolemais (UR) - We have no idea how to pronounce this name. If the Sharks don't get six points I will hang myself. Never played them before.

Predictions
This is out predicted finishing order:
Vilita
New Montreal States
Quakmybush
Anastasiania
Dance 2 Revolution
Bushes Been Quaked
Kericia
Race Track
Alexandrian Ptolemais.

Now for the Sharks Schedule:
Friendly: vs Bedistan (Xed City Stadium)
at Race Track
New Montreal States (Xed City Stadium)
at Kericia
Dance 2 Revolution (Cherrywood Stadium)
at Alexandrian Ptolemais
at Bushes Been Quaked
Bye
Vilita (Fort Erie Stadium)
at Anastasiania
Friendly: @ Bedistan
Race Track (Hughes Stadium)
at New Montreal States
Kericia (Ruckus Room)
at Dance 2 Revolution
Alexandrian Ptolemais (Dreton Center)
Bushes Been Quaked (Quitiz Center)
Friendly: @ Az-Cz
at Vilita
Anastasiania (Jinkton City Field)

We will preview all of the other groups in tomorrows edition.

"...yes, Metro, I know, I am condemning my everlasting immortal soul by not following the benevolent teachings of the Church," Giovanni Lopez raised his eyes to the ceiling of the green room - if perhaps not the heavens - and carried on with his phone conversation with his Vice-President of the Committee, "And, yes, good luck to you too. Thank-you, I'm sure you're fully blessed-up though, and wouldn't accept the blessings of this particular sinner. Bye, Metro."

Gio closed his phone and set it to silent, it would only be embarrassing to have anyone call or text him during his live interview on SCB:Sports. There was a knock at the green room door, followed by the floor manager; headset, clipboard and all, poking his head through the opening.

"We've just gone to VT, Mister Lopez, we'd like to get you miked up now."

"By all means." Giovanni said, rising from his chair and following the floor manager out to the set. Stepping out under the bright lights, he shook the hand of the ever-youthful Trey Pickworth, usually the host of Block and Tackle, but now fronting the World Cup Special programme.

"Trey." Giovanni nodded.

"Good to see you again," Trey replied as the floor manager counted down the last five seconds to air, "easy question to start with." He looked at the camera. "Welcome back to World Cup Special, joining me in the studio now is the President of the World Cup Committee, Giovanni Lopez. Simple question to start off with, Giovanni, why are Starblaydia only ranked fifth in the World?"

"Well we haven't won the World Cup for over ten years now, Trey," Giovanni said, making a mental note not to come on this show again, "we made the final a couple of attempts ago, of course, but we're a solid top-eight side for over twenty years now. And the top eight we are in."

"But we're behind Squornshelous, Krytenia, Bedistan and even Oliverry, what's happening there?"

"Check the last cup: ourselves and Bedistan didn't get past the Quarter-Final stage, and the other three teams did. Squornshelous won, of course, and Krytenia and Oliverry were in the consolation match. It's not rocket science from there on."

"Is Jaime Oberlander fighting to save the reputation of Starblaydi football with an under-strength side?"

"I think that's an outrageous question, Starblaydia's reputation as a sporting and in particular footballing nation is of the highest quality all across the entire world." Giovanni's body language attempted to end the question.

"But where are the Oberlanders?" Trey pleaded. "The Blancs, the Tolkachevas and the Nobles of this world in our current squad? Where are our World Class players?"

"The immortal soul of Starblaydi football is in good hands, Trey," Giovanni raised his eyebrows and leaned forward, hands clasped together as if in some sort of prayer, "Adams, Cravex, Dakic, Matranga: These are World Class players if ever I saw them, and they're at their peak. Starblaydia can win this World Cup."

"Do you see any problems for them in qualifying?" Trey shifted his focus.

"From either Group we should have no problems, and this second set of Qualifying Groups allows the fans to see their teams in many more matches than as laid out before, which can only be good for football."

"And on that note," Trey said with a smile that yelled 'gotcha', "we'll be back in a few days' time for the first match with Northern Caesarea."



Starblaydia RPs in World Cup 32
Starblaydia Roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12044387&postcount=8)
Dawn (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11989617&postcount=3) (Pre-Cup)
Immortal Souls

-MD01: Friendly Results (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=510563)-

Demot Daily ~ Dynamo Fall Short in Preparation Match

As the squad prepares itself for the rigors and tribulations that come with such a long and drawn out qualifying schedule, the team looked to have a friendly affair with the gnomes of Az-Cz. The match was expected to show how well their pre-qualfying had prepared them for the months to come, and to see if the team could work smoothely like they had last tournament with the few new additions it had. A little confusion was had before the match as to where it was going to be held, but after getting a phone call from the Az footballing association, the team took off to Az-Cz as fast as they could. Looking back, this small slip up might of been what caused the team to be taken back in the first fifteen of the match.

With the match underway, the gnomes were giving the Dynamo backline and midfield fits, and in the ninth minute, Levesque found the back of the net. He was able to shake free of Gooden right as Pizelkaxrovsky sent the ball towards the middle. He was able to scoop it up in stride, and put one past Orien as he dove. Levesque was not done torturing the Dynamo, as he once again was able to shake his marker, this time though, he was able to give it up to Stanleyinho, who fired a great bending ball from twenty yards out that grazed the post and crossbar as it went into the netting.

Sans, visably upset, started barking orders at her teammates, and was supported by Masteron. The team seemed to respond to the two's verbal assaults, and drastically improved their play, moving the majority of the play out of their end, and into the attacking third, manufacturing seven chances on goal before the half, but unable to convert on any of them. However, the team was upbeat as they entered the lockerooms for the fifteen minute break, and were back on the offsensive when the second half began. As masteron took the restart and dribbled magnificently past two defenders and down the pitch. Hubertino was finally able to force him towards the sidelines, however, he sent in a high cross to the outskirts of the box where Ysman met it with her strong foot, and did three consequitve cartwheels in celebration as the ball managed to fly by Gn-Lg.

The game became temporarily locked down in the middle, but with a couple of substitutions, the Dynamo were once again in control of the ball, taking the attack to the Gnomes. However, Gn-Lg was a rock in net, stopping the rest of the shots, and getting some help from the woodwork in the 90th minute when it looked like Black had the equaliser. The team will be able to look back at this result and wonder if they had been ready for this match if the outcome would of been different, but also as a stepping stone that shows that team is just as capable of making a run into a qualifying spot as it was four years again when they edged out their former colony masters to make the Proper in only their second NSWC. For now, they take their days rest, and then prepare for the challange that is to come.


Az-cz 2 V Demot 1
Levesque (9th) 1-0
Stanleyinho (16th) 2-0
Ysman (46) 2-1

Article by Jasmine Olyvander

SATIVAVILLE STONER
You Bring the Noise, We'll Bring the Funk


After a re-draw due to some lawsuit brought about by some lawyers from some weird country we've never heard of, We're in a new group and we ain't going to the cup. (Might need to bring in Dewey, Cheatem and Howe from Qazox to counter-sue to get the groups back)

Here's our group and our Predictions:

Group 5:
The Great Monty Python (UR)- Unless we become parrots, we should get 6 points. (2-0-0)
Bedistan (3)- Two losses, by at least 3 goals probably (2-0-2)
Sativaville (52) That's us.. Bringing in the funk.
Bazalonia (18)- Apperently we aren't worth a red baz. two losses (2-0-4)
The New Hypocria (143) Whatever happened to the "old" Hypocria? Should get 2 wins here (4-0-4)
Nebuleux (69)- Played them before but it was a long time ago. a Win and a draw (5-1-4)
Green Wombat (46)- The THIRD best team from the Q continuum, will split the games (6-1-5)
Snub Nose 39 (122)- Hmm.. sound familar but can't place our fingers on the trigger... Two wins should be coming (8-1-5)
Nedalia (32) Lions will rip our dreds to shreds. Two Losses (8-1-7)

Overall Predicted record (8-1-7 25pts 4th place in group)

Dazza Dallas and John Jerk (aka "Dad") were looking at the NEW groupings

Group 10:
Dumania (110)
Dorian and Sonya (64)
The Gold TyGrr (178)
Yafor 2 (53)
Cuation (26)
Bettia (15)
Seckland (UR)
Tynelia (37)
Jeruselem (10)

Dazza: 10 groups of 10 so top three qualify and then you added the hosts.
John: Yeah

Dazza: We can expect Dumania, The Gold TyGrr and Seckland not to make it unless they go start knocking of the other teams but I don't see that happening.
John: Neither to do it.

Dazza: Bettia, Nedalian buddies and the main threat here. This will be interesting - hey good for our ratings in Nedalia and Bettia! They can beat us.
John: Oh so true, they should make the top 3 really unless they play crap.

Dazza: Cuation, a good team - one not to underestimate. Have keep an eye on them.
John: I say the dark horse Dazza. They might surprise a few people.

Dazza: Fellow chicky babes - from Dorian and Sonya. They always challenge and flop in the end, let's hope they don't decide to play well against us.
John: From past experience, not likely. They haven't beaten us in any competition for a while.

Dazza: Tynelia, interesting team. They can do well provided they don't trip over themselves like sometimes do. Done well last few cups.
John: A genuine threat but not the same class as Bettia.

Dazza: And Yafor 2! Our friends, the Q-CUP winners ... hey didn't they beat our schoolgirls?
John: Yes, but they've had one good cup and the ones after have been disappointing. Not sure how well they will do.

Dazza: Looking at the Group, it's us, Bettia and ... God damn ... err ... Cuation.
John: I'd say Tynelia personally.

Dazza: Oh Nedalia, in Group 5 with Bedistan again. The original draw had them with Bedistan with Group 2. Something's going on! Those two married or something?
John: I did notice they tend get into the same group every world cup - and Bedistan get the better of Nedalia.

Dazza: Poor Lions. Ranked 32nd - they need to raise that back to well say 20th with good cup and maybe even beating Bedistan twice.
John: That's being optimistic Dazza. It's like us beating Starblaydia.

Dazza: I can't complain really.
John: Why do have have BED-ME-STAN on that top?

Dazza: I bought it locally from a comedian.
John: Suits you well Dazza.

Dazza: Want to see the QUACK-MY-BUSH one?
John: No thanks Dazza.

Dazza: How about the "I'M BETTIA THAN YOU" one?
John: You don't give up, don't ya?

Dazza: No, God put me here to keep you from being bored.

World Cup 32 Draw Announced

World to the Cup Chat


Dan: Welcome to world cup chat i'm Dan Reynolds

Adam: And im out of jail!

Dan: Good for you Adam.

Adam: Yeah thanks for bailing me out Dan

Dan: Anytime buddy anythime

Adam: Let's get to the draw shall we?

Dan: Sounds fair.

Dan: So here's the draw Savages placed in group

Group 1:
Tocapa (103)

Dan: We'll heres a side that can have flashes of brilliance.

Adam: So! We're better!

Cataduanes (36)

Dan: Hmf

Adam: What?

Dan: Theyre ranked higher than us.

Adam: And?

Dan: We can beat them!

Adam: Point being?

Dan: Nevermind, next!

Okielahoma (54)

Dan, Adam: w00T!

The Islands of Qutar (17)

Dan: Here is a familiar opponent, we matched up with them last Cup and managed one win/

Adam: Righto but Qutar should see themselves through qualification easily.

Dan: Right

Anrow (197)

Adam: Is it just me or have i never heard of this country? Did they come to being while i was in jail?

Dan: Yes

Adam: Oh ok then

Algal States (141)

Adam: Who?

Dan: I dunno never heard of Algae States.

Az-Cz (28)

Adam: Always wondered how you pronounced that name.

Dan; Like this: Az Cz

Adam: Thanks Dan you are a great help man

Dan: Anytime anytime

Dan: We should have to beat this squad if we excpect to qualify, we coiuld be looking at another 4th place finish again.

Liverpool England (7)

Dan: Hands down favorites to win the group?

Adam: Most definately

Sel Appa (81)

Adam: A more experienced world cup squad but we shouldnt have to much trouble with them.

Dan: Right


Dan: Now for our predictions for the cup

Dan's Tea Leaves

Liverpool England (7)
Az-Cz (28)
The Islands of Qutar (17)
Okielahoma (54)
Cataduanes (36)
Tocapa (103)
Sel Appa (81)
Algal States (141)
Anrow (197)

Adam's Bong
Liverpool England (7)
The Islands of Qutar (17)
Okielahoma (54)
Cataduanes (36)
Az-Cz (28)
Algal States (141)
Sel Appa (81)
Tocapa (103)
Anrow (197)

OOC: Don't worry, both the Az-cz Scroll Reports and the post game press conference would happen in character. Feel free to take some liberty making them up if you'd like. I just won't be RPing them. Also since these RPs are the thoughts of inanimate objects, you can't respond to them in character.



Man, it's quite an honor to be a game worn jersey. That's was my honor today. Let me tell you about it.

It all starts in the locker room pre-match. The jerseys get treated in a lot of different ways. Some are treated with care, some are thrown around. Some are involved in pre-game superstitions, and some are involved in other less savory activities. I was granted to the jersey of James Levesque, starting Left Attacking Midfielder for the Az-cz international squad. Levesque was very calm before today's game, as he is before most games. Especially considering it was a friendly he wasn't that nervous. So I stayed pretty clean. But believe you me, it can get pretty gross for a uniform before a game. Some players, like Bn-Dg can get pretty excited before a game and sweat a fair amount even before the game starts, other players vomit on their uniforms before matches out of nerves, and there is a story floating around about an Oliverrian who urinated in his kit before every match, so it's not all fun and games.

Of course there is something special about being the keepers special kit, usually it's nice just to blend in and be a regular kit. And since I was in the starting 11 I'd get to see a lot of action out on the pitch, but I had no idea how much action I was in for.

Straight from the start Levesque was into the action. We seemed to be flying around the pitch together and we were getting a pretty good workout going. And in fact only 9 minutes into the match Levesque blasted one into the bottom of the net. As his celebration he quickly sprung me off and swung me around in the air. Quite a wild celebration. I was afraid he was going to let go and swing me into the crowd. But he held on and I was soon put back on and we got back into the action.

Well Levesque continued to get into the action and the sweat was starting to accumulate in my fibers. Despite the early stages of the game Levesque was working hard and controlling the flow of the play. Only 7 minutes after the opening goal he set Stanleyinho up for the second Pink & Green goal of the game. This time he went flying through the air to celebrate with Stanleyinho. As Stanleyinho is one of the tall players it was an interesting celebration.

With that the Gnomes kind of fell back. We dropped into a much more conservative 4-5-1 formation and things slowed down for us and picked up for Demot. They played much better the rest of the period but I could see Gn-Lg and Ns-Ta flashing around in the back to preserve the two goal lead.

Demot struck back early in the second half with Masterson setting up Ysman for a nice goal. In her celebration she showed off a little bit more than just her uniform. From many spots including mine, you could see some of her sports bra. Nice figured lady if you ask me, but I'm not sure why you would as I'm just a soccer uniform.

After that both teams had some good chances. In the 69th minute all at once three of the Pink & Green Jerseys around me changed. Ns-Ta, Ml-Dni and Hubertion went off with Lo-Lo, Du-Tre, and Kz-Kz replacing them. With three players coming on in defensive positions Demot was able to pace the attack and look to do more damage, but Gn-Lg was still up to everything.

After the match Levesque traded shirts with the player of the game for Demot, David Masteron. Unlike some cheap teams *cough*Starblaydia*cough* who only exchange jerseys after competitive matches, it's Az-cz policy to trade after every world level match. So now I'll travel back to Demot with David. Who knows what will become of me. Maybe he'll keep me. Maybe he'll donate me to some sports hall of fame. Maybe he'll sell me to some Az-cz fan. Who knows?

My final thoughts on the game? Well it was a great experience. I'd have loved to have been a competitive jersey, but the other #16's will certainly enjoy working with Levesque. Burlock Castle is a magnificent stadium and I'm glad that's where I got to experience my match. And thanks to the fans who came out in support of us. There were a lot of me in the crowd and I'm very happy about that. Good luck to the Gnomes going ahead. Bye.

Amda-Mo: Welcome to World Cup Breakdown. I'm your new host Amda-Mo and joining me is former national team player and commentator Lur-Mn.

Lur-Mn: You're looking stunning as usual Amda-Mo.

Amda-Mo: Stop, you flatterer. So looking at tonight's opener against Demot, how would you characterize the game?

Lur-Mn: I'd give the Robbers a C. And a wobbly C at that. It's hard to give them a lower grade considering the play of Levesque and the fact we beat a team as good as Demot, but it wasn't a good performance.

Amda-Mo: Why do you rate it so poorly?

Lur-Mn: Well outside of Levesque in the first 25 minutes and Gn-Lg we were thoroughly outplayed. They controlled possession, had more shots and were just better?

Amda-Mo: What was the problem?

Lur-Mn: Well the biggest problem was that they clearly haven't adjusted to playing without Zax-Im. He was the heart and soul and also was a master at controlling the back of the midfield. Hubertino was ok, but Hmr-Pn was not.

Amda-Mo: Explain more about that?

Hmr-Pn: Well Hmr-Pn kept trying to get forward but his control of his line was just not good. He kept making defensive lapses. Yes, he's not really a defensive midfielder but he has to get better. I can understand why they chose him over Lo-Ro, although I wouldn't have done so, but he's going to have to prove he deserves that starting spot in these first few matches. The Gnomes can't afford to sputter out of the gate. They need to take off like they did last cup.

Amda-Mo: Well what were the bright points?

Hmr-Pn: Well the two best individuals on the pitch today were Levesque, as he won the man of the match, and Gn-Lg. Honestly I think the talent level of this team is significantly higher than it was four years ago when I was on the club. The remaining players have all improved a fair amount and some of the call ups, especially Haji-Me and Levesque are incredibly talented.

Amda-Mo: Does that mean this was a coaching problem?

Lur-Mn: I don't believe so. I think it was a personnel problem that they don't really have an answer for. 5-4-1 puts too much pressure on Pizelkaxrovsky to create, 4-4-2 really strands Hubertino in defensive midfield. Clearly 3-5-2 doesn't help anything at all. 4-5-1 is the correct formation I believe. But Lo-Ro simply isn't the kind of talent they want playing at the top level and Hmr-Pn is not nearly the defensive midfielder they need. And neither one of them controls the pitch like Zax-Im. Losing him really hurt the team, and it'll take a number of games for them to figure out how to adjust.

Amda-Mo: Do you have any other suggestions?

Lur-Mn: One unorthodox idea that they might try is dropping Pizelkaxrovsky back as the second defensive midfielder. I think he could control the game from back their just fine. And Ip-Gp is more deserving of starting, there just isn't a spot for him. But that would waste a lot of Pizelkaxrovsky's amazing talent.

Amda-Mo: What about playing a 3-6-1?

Lur-Mn: Pardon?

Amda-Mo: Bringing Ml-Dni forward as the second defensive midfielder with Hubertino, playing Ip-Gp and Pizelkaxrovsky together in the middle with the same stuff up front?

Lur-Mn: That's a wild formation. I'm sure the coaches have thought about it and we might just see such a thing if the 4-5-1 isn't working. But I'm definitely impressed by your knowledge.

Amda-Mo: Thanks. Looking ahead to our next match, we hit the ground running, open up at Islands of Qutar.

Lur-Mn: That's certainly a tough way to start. Islands of Qutar is a very stable very strong side. Hopefully the coaches will figure out what to do with the 11th man by the time of the match.

Amda-Mo: Ok, quick prediction?

Lur-Mn: 2-2 draw. Both teams have plenty of fire power. Qutar plays better but the attacking three in the midfield save the day and earn us a useful point.

Amda-Mo: Now we finish with my segment. Each week I will grade all of the players who made the game based on a randomly drawn category.

(Reaches into a box)

Amda-Mo: This week is fruit. Here we go. And remember the opinions are mine so you can't complain if you disagree.

Levesque: The Raspberry. Simply the best.

Gn-Lg: Coconut. Tough to crack and oh so good.

Kn-Dg: Orange. Consistently good, if unspectacular.

Pizelkaxrovsky: Pear. It ranges from heavenly to only decent, with today being on the decent end.

Hubertino: Apple. Solid but it often just doesn't hit the spot.

Stanleyinho: Grapefruit. Good with sugar (in the form of Levesque's passing) but often unpalatable on it's own.

Haji-Me & Ml-Dni: Pineapple. Delicious but doesn't always give you what you need (in this case defense).

Ns-Ta & Nerazzuri: Grapes. Unspectacular, but not horrible.

Hmr-Pn: Banana. My god! Why would anyone want one of those.

Kz-Kz & Du-Tre: Not yet ripe strawberries. Could be good, but aren't ready yet, leaving a sour taste in your mouth.

Lo-Ro: Plum. Hard to say really.

Amda-Mo: There you have it. Goodnight everyone.

Lur-Mn: Good night.

"Welcome once again to World Cup Sloths, live from Qutar, I'm Mike Jones..."

"...and I'm Filipo Schiavone."

"And we're here in anticipation of Schiavonia playing The Islands of Qutar. Only there doesn't appear to be any followers of the home side here, Fil."

"Well, Harvey Alfredo did say that their FA didn't get in contact with ours this time around, so who are Schiavonia going to play against?"

"Good question. Well, it appears that the Sloths are out on the pitch, but not one player in... no wait, there does appear to be someone coming out onto the pitch. It's..."

"It looks like the groundsman to me. I've not seen many footballers carrying rakes before."

"Indeed. And he doesn't look happy. He's chasing the Schiavone players off the playing surface! How on earth are they supposed to warm up?"

"Who knows?"

"Well, the players seem fairly co-operative with the request, but it all seems a bit of a wasted journey. I mean, why come all the way to Qutar to play in a game that isn't even... Oh dear, the groundsman appears to have turned his attention to us now."

"Run, Mike!"

"You think I'm not running!?! I'm not as fit as I was twenty years ago! Um... we'll be back with you as soon as we can..."

- - - - -

"Welcome back to World Cup Sloths. We're now outside the Stadium of Light in Cëre, Qutar, where we've just been chased out of the stadium by the groundsman. With us are the Schiavone national team and about twenty Schiavone fans. Fil, this is probably one of the oddest things the SFF have ever done."

"It is very odd. We've got a football team and fans in a foreign country in Atlantian Oceania... Why couldn't we have turned up in Anastasiania? At least then it's just a short boat ride home."

"Does tradition count for nothing, Fil? There's been a Schiavonia-Qutar game at some point every cup since the two started."

"Well, obviously not this time! Now, with us now is Schiavonia's team manager Rodney Lowe. Rodney, this surely wasn't the perfect way to start your final World Cup campaign in charge?"

"It isn't, but then this was Harvey Alfredo's idea. I never actually expected the Qutar team to turn up, so our actual plan was to rent out the stadium for the day, bring a load of fans over and have a training game, first eleven against second eleven. If the Qutar players turned up, then all the better."

"But why couldn't you just do that at the KFS?"

"Well some of our players have never been out of Schiavonia before! We couldn't have them turn up in Lisburn Mateys on Matchday Three and crying for their mummy!"

"But why not just take them to somewhere closer to home?"

"It's a traditional thing!"

"But how can it be a tradition if only one team holds it up?"

"It's not just us. Look, our fans are playing!"

"WOW! Turn the camera over there! Here we are in a car park outside of the World Cup 30 final stadium in Qutar, and about twenty Schiavone fans are taking on at least as many locals. And with the planned kick-off still some forty minutes away, more appear to be turning up all the time!"

"This could be the best Schiavona-Qutar game ever! Is there a referee?"

"No. But do we really need one?"

"Nope! Can we join in?"

"We've got a show to present, Fil. We still have to do the Group preview."

"Oh."

"Now come on, it only works when we both do it. Otherwise it becomes dull!"

"OK. Who's first?"

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/wentland.png

"You're supposed to tell me from the flags, aren't you?"

"Oh yeah. So Wentland, then."

"So you're learning!"

"Of course. And I also know that we'll have two highly entertaining games against Wentland."

"How do you know? For all you know, Lowe could go 5-4-1 and shut up shop for the afternoon!"

"Yeah right!"

"OK, so maybe I'm pushing it a bit far, but considering that they started out at the same time as us, but haven't made the finals since their debut success, they're going to be after us like something rotten!"

"Fair point, that. So, considering that they're the fourth rank in the group. do you think that they'll go through to the finals?"

"Yes."

"And which of the top three ranks will they take the place of?"

"I'll give you a clue. It begins with S."

"I didn't know Stromboland were in the top three ranks in the group?"

"Who?"

"I'll tell you later. Next..."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/lisburn_mateys.png

"Lisburn Mateys."

"You are getting good."

"Not really. Just Rodney Lowe said that we'd be playing them on Matchday Three."

"Oh. So, another team that have been in a few cups now without much qualifying success, can they change their fortunes this time around?"

"Well, it's a possibility. We've got a lot of youngsters in our team, Qazox and Wentland have only made two finals between them in who knows how many attempts. It's definately possible, but they'll come up just short."

"OK, our third opponents will be..."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/florida_oranges.png

"N00bistan!"

"Actually, they're called Florida Oranges, but whether they're actual fruit, or they just play in an orange kit, we've not discovered yet."

"Last place?"

"By miles!"

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png

"And on Matchday Five we play... ourselves?"

"No, we have a bye. So knowing the SFF, we'll invite The Islands of Qutar over to the KFS and end up playing the Kingsbury Rocks Under 11s."

"We're going to screw up, aren't we?"

"I know you think we are, Fil, but I've got more hope for us. A decent performance or two to get us started, and we'll be challenging for the top of the group in no time!"

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/stromboland.png

"I guess this is that other place you said beginning with S?"

"Stromboland? Yes, this is, indeed, them. And a great big pile of tripe they appear to be, too. Fortunately for them, they've been put into a group with some fruit, so they should get at least two points."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_mushroom_kingship.png

"Next up are... Leichtenstein?"

"No, this is The Mushroom Kingship. A team that have been growing in stature over the past few cups, and... OW!"

"Hey! Look at you getting hit by the ball! And I was the one who wanted to play! Mike?"

"Fil! They're taking me away!"

"You mean I'll have to finish the report on my own?"

"I'll do my best. Now, The Mushroom Kingshiiiiiii..."

"They're a slowly up-coming side who are gradually improving cup by cup, and another serious challenger for the top few places if they get a good run."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/qazox.png

"Qazox made it to the finals last time, and will be looking to build on that this time..."

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png

"Ariddia are virtually a shoo-in... OOOH! That's got to hurt, Mike!"

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/Assegai_Developments.png

"And the other team, who I don't recognice the flag of... Aggasi Developments according to Mike's notes that he dropped. Well, apparently they're going to better than their ranking suggests, although they did lose 10-0 to Qazox last cup. Surely that's a typo. Finally, here's the view of everyone here at the Scribe as to how the group will finish."

1st Schiavonia
2nd Ariddia
3rd Qazox
4th Wentland
5th Lisburn Mateys
6th The Mushroom Kingship
7th Assegai Developments
8th Stromboland
9th Florida Oranges

"...rather unoriginally, we've gone for ourselves at the top and the rest in ranking order. Anyway, there's a mega kick about to be had. Bye folks!"

Fil runs away out of shot. "Are you OK Mike..."

It was about 8:49 when Reg started thinking something was up.

"Congrats on the win against Spruitland!" all sorts of people were saying as they walked past him in the hallway. At first he had just made the assumption that it was a cruel joke- They were in Casari's group, after all. Playing them now would need to be inspiried something like... hell, he couldn't even come up with a word for it.

"There is no way you'd be able to jump a car on your motorcycle. Put away that shovel you're shovelling all that crap with." Scorlotto yelled into someone else's office. "Fine, a hundred bucks. I just hope the insurance pays for when you become a skid mark." A few muffled swear words were the reply as Scott Mercuri stormed out of the office, pulling on a jacket and muttering comparisons between David and feminine hygiene products. "Fine, see you in fifteen minutes." He said, stomping towards the elevators.

David looked around, blinking and muttering for a second, before his gaze landed on the coach. "Hey, Reg... can we borrow- naa, forget it." David hurried past and ran for the elevators himself, leaving Reg in the middle of the hallway.

The word had come to him though, at least.

Insanity.

Glancing at his watch, he looked around and started wandering towards the elevators himself. Occasionally in life, there's some things than you don't want to miss.

Reg and David stood together next to the makeshift ramp made out of a piece of plywood and another car, watching Scott prepare almost out of sight around the edge of the stadium.

"When did we play in Spruitland?" Reg said, watching.

David shook his head. "We didn't play in Spruitland yet. Why would I be scheduling friendlies with teams in our own group?"

"I don't know. But there's a score for it, and interviews and everything."

"We wouldn't go to Spruitland and not remember... well... we might, but it's definately unlikely."

"But there's quotes. I apparently had words with the ref and everything. A match had to happen. SOMEONE played Spruitland."

"We were probably drunk the whole time. You'll get used to that." David said. "Look out, he's about to go."

The two backed up from the ramp as Scott sped up, hit the ramp, and in a graceful and fluid motion, landed on the other side of the car being jumped, landed, and skidded to a stop, falling over on his side with his arms raised in victory. Standing up and peeling off his helmet, he spiked it on the concrete and pointed. "You owe me one hundred selaris, Scorlotto!"

David sighed and reached for his wallet as Reg continued. "Who would be pretending to be us?"

"Other than the obvious answers?" Scott said, counting money and David handed it to him.

"Well, yeah."

"Pod people or something." David said, shrugging.

"What the hell? Pod people?"

"Sure. You know, aliens who take the appearance of people, kill them and eat them, and then take their place?"

"Wouldn't we have to be dead right now for that to work?"

David shrugged again. "Disorganized pod people." he said, watching another car pull up. "Hey, that's a no parking zone, ass!" he yelled, trying to motion the car on.

The driver's side door opened, however, and someone got out and took a few steps towards them. Reg, David, and Scott stared at the man for a while, who stood motionless, staring back at the three. Then, slowly, Scott leaned over and whispered to David, "... I didn't know you had a twin brother. That's some bizzare timing."

David stared in silence, swallowing. "... I don't have a twin brother, man."

It was at this point when Anti-David chose to end the standoff by pulling a weapon. There were a flurry of dives behind cars as a few shots were fired, the three real people trying to figure out where their assailant dissappeared to as Anti-David tried to press the advantage he had against the three unarmed men.

"Oh man, we are so boned." Reg said, trying to peer under the bumper.

"Shut up, you're not helping!" Scott muttered, looking around. "You think security would come running at the sound of gunshots."

"They're not stupid, Scott." Reg said. "He's coming, what do we do?"

David blinked. "Bum-rush him."

"He has a gun!"

"Which is why he doesn't expect us to come charging at him." David said. "On three. One... Two... Three."

It's hard to expect three people scared out of their wits rushing you, tackling you, and trying to choke you until you fell unconscious. Of course, that's probably why Anti-David was so unprepared for it, and why such a halfassed plan was able to work.

"Hog tie him!"

"How the hell are we supposed to do that?!" Reg said, trying to choke the struggling man out. Finally, he passed out and went limp.

"Hurry up and get him inside." David muttered, wincing over a kick to the gut. "We'll figure out what's going on."

"Hopefully." Scott added.

Dante Ryane is waiting by the right hand corner flag to take the corner. Both sets of fans can be heard in the colourful stadium, New Propagandia team acquitting themselves well after what the Cuation press considered to be a wonderful day.

"Corner to New Propagandia as they seek an equaliser on their home debut. Ryane with the ball in but it is disappointing, Jude easily claiming it. New Propagandia have failed to turn possession into goals and that corner explains why, a poor ball in."

The corner had been weak and though it got past the near post, Jude was able to pluck it out of the air. Dressed in black, Jude had been at his commanding best and now threw the ball out to Lewish near the half way line.

"Jude out to Lewish who advances over the half way line, the break is on! Lewish takes on Vesputous, he gets a bit lucky but he beats his man! Lewish clear as he rampages down the right!"

Lewish had torn Vesputous apart all day but this time, the attempted nutmeg had bounced off the defender's leg but Lewish's pace gave the winger a second bite. Cutting in slightly, Lewish had Red in his way.

"Red comes across to cover, Lewish forced to go wide, good defending. Lewish is holding the ball up as Cuation push players forward, now he plays it to Cole. The fullback crosses the ball in low..."

The centre back had closed down any room for Lewish to do anything and Vesputous got back but couldn't cut out the lay off for Cole. The full backs' cross was low and went across the six yard line where sub Paul Keane lay in wait.

"Keane! How did he miss that chance? Unmarked, only the keeper to beat, he failed to even hit the target, firing high over the bar! He could have made the game safe but instead blew his chance to get into the first team, his manager is clearly displeased with that."

Keane had leant back, getting his foot under the ball and so skiing the effort over. On the bench, Rual smiled as his manager stamped on the floor, Keane holding his head in his hands as his team mates glared.

Cuation the Victor!

Well it was a professional performance by Cuation but only winning 1-0 against a team playing for the first team is a little worrying, it certainly wasn't the crushing many Cuation fans wanted. Today was New Propagandia's day and so we will concentrate on them for now.

Stadium and accommodations: Fantastic, five stars really is five stars, it is better then most Cuation fans will ever get at home. The stadium is well built and one day may need to be expanded but for now, it could be a beautiful fortress that every team will want to avoid but every fan wants to visit at least once. The people were unbelievable friendly and they deserve every success.

Team Strengths: Starting from the back, Anton Liberkine was superb when called upon, it is unfortunate about his lack of height. The defence as a whole and the team's defending was good, keep it up and they will be hard to beat. The ability to quickly get the ball back was part of the reason they could dominate possession.

In midfield, they kept the ball well, they also have a set piece expert which could be vital in close matches. The staff set up is good quality and better in some ways then Cuation's, maybe a trainer like Matt Wood is needed to keep us in top shape.

Team concerns: The lack of experience at this level will be a problem but they will quickly learn, till then they may struggle. At the back, Liberkine's lack of height could be a problem with aerial balls but a new left back is desperately needed, Vesputous was awful and will cost them whenever a pacy winger is against him.

Going forward, they lacked a cutting edge, their final ball was often easily cleared away or claimed by Jude. To be fair, Cuation's defence can be near impossible to break down and New Propagandia's attacking players have the quality to better but on days like this, Brett Starr will be a passenger.

Overall: They will become a good team if they keep their heads up and work hard, they will have a tough time this world cup but might be able to stay off the bottom and make a fight for middle in the group.

Match

Both sides came out to a wall of noise on this special day but it was Cuation that came out of the blocks quickest, dominating the first twenty minutes. Downing's early cross gave Lu Fei an early chance but the forwards head was straight at the keeper.

Fallen would struggle to get away from Lovett all day but in the 5th minute, Fallen worked himself into some space for a long range shot, he got enough power behind it but Liberkine was more then equal to it, clutching the thirty yarder to his chest.

In the ninth minute, a Cheese long ball was flicked on by Lu Fei to Rual, the striker clear on goal but Red surprisingly managed to get back to hassle Rual into firing well wide. Two minutes later, Lewish cut inside and tried his luck, Liberkine beat the ball away but made an even better save two minutes later.

A cross field ball from Downing set Lewish with another one on one with Vesputous, the winger humiliating his opponent before pulling the ball back from the by-line, Rual was at the near post with a flicked volley, Liberkine reacting brilliantly to get a hand to tip the ball over.

After twenty minutes New Propagandia got themselves back into the game and the pressure dropped as Fallen could do nothing thanks to Lovett. Even so Cuation never looked in trouble from open play and threatened on the counter attack, one passing move enabling Rual to turn and shoot from the edge of the box but his shot was too close to Liberkine.

A foul by Butcher outside the area gave Ryane an ideal chance to show off his dead ball skills, curling the ball around the five man wall but Jude managed to touch the ball around the post at full stretch. The corner was met with the head of Starr but Jude was alert to the danger, blocking the powerful header with his legs.

New Propagandia began to assert dominance of the proceedings but they got hit by a hammer blow in the 39th minute. Lewish again had the better of Vesputous before hitting a dangerous cross into the box. Lu Fei took advantage of Liberkine's lack of height, beating the keeper to the cross, heading the ball into the net.

New Propagandia didn't let that set back affect them but found Cuation defending in numbers, unable to create a chance before half time. Cuation made one change, replacing the struggling Rual for Keane, the sub determined to take his chance to prove himself over his rival.

Keane was poor, he failed to get a chance till later on, his general play was awful, often attacks breaking down with him, Keane will be disappointed. New Propagandia pushed for an equaliser throughout the second half but found a defence and keeper playing as the unit that was the best in the world a year or two ago.

The one chance they created was in the 65th minute, Ian Nielson faking a long shot, fooling the experienced Cheese into attempting a block, Nielson speeding through the gap. The defence had been caught out but Tanner was quick off his line forcing Nielson to try a hasty chip that floated far over the bar.

Cuation created the last chance of the game in the 85th minute, Cuation going from defence into attack in a second, Jude collecting a poor corner before sending Lewish to begin the counter attack, eventually Cole crossed in low with Keane somehow hitting row Z with a horrid miss. Aided by the subs Terry and Scott, Cuation managed to hold out under a heavy barrage in the dying minutes.

Cuation ratings:

Tanner 8: Butcher 7, Cole 7, Cheese 7, James 7, Irwin 7: Downing 6, Lewish 7, Fallen 5: Lu Fei 7, Rual 5. Subs: Keane 4(for Rual, half time), Terry 7 (for Lu Fei, 85), Scott 7 (for Fallen, 80th)

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
Mateys rookies up for the challenge

The world cup draw scandle has been dealt with the new redrawn groups have been made public. The draw for the the Mateys didnt really get any easier, with a third place finish probally the only way the team will get anywhere near qualifying, but most predict the team to come fifth, with Schiavonia and Arridia way out of our league and also Qazox and Wentland on pretty impressive form some have argued that the redraw has actually made things harder for the team.

The squad its self isnt looking too deep at the minute with no less than 8 players having five caps or less, however new Boy Patrik Kilarny has said that he and other rookies wouldnt be in the squad if they didnt deserve it, lets wait and see if their performances on the pitch show that they deserve the place.

Commerce Heights Chronicle—Your newspaper, your way! Buy the Commerce Heights Chronicle today!

Sports: 자스연 (Jasīʼyūn) lose stadium battle to SLANI
INTERNATIONAL CITY—Everyone seemed to be in a big hurry at Unity Stadium just minutes before kickoff of the second meeting between the two teams from the Unified Capitalizt States. Neither team had released a roster yet, and they didn’t even get a chance to order new kits. But the match had been scheduled, and so the two teams rushed on to the field so as not to disappoint their seventy-five thousand supporters. Alejandro Bolúfero, the Sonoma Center Panthers striker who scored numerous hat-tricks during qualification for the last World Cup, was surprised to see his younger brother, Rodolfo, wearing red on the other side of the line—even if his kit had some weird Syokaji name on it.
The 혜성즈 (Hyesūŋjī) shocked the “home” crowd—designated as such purely because of the existence of KQ Internepáïire—by taking an early lead with a perfectly-timed pass by 설예민 (Sūl ʼYe-min) to Rodolfo Bolúfero, who chipped the ball past SLANI goalkeeper Friedel Kuban-Schnellfrieder. Just as the media was hoping it was time to head home, they saw that there were still eighty-eight minutes left in the match.
SLANI soon equalized when Gary Buchanan tripped Δημήτρης Σκαλκώτας (Dīmī́trīs Skalkṓtas) just inside the penalty area. Cord Tserkesidis was able to score on the resulting penalty kick, making the score 1–1. After the goal, SLANI pulled back into a defensive 3–4–3, moving Davido Agiaro into the midfield. They were able to keep the ball for several minutes, until right wing back Bartold Pückler slipped on the field and Alejandro was able to take advantage to put his team on top. The remainder of the first half was relatively boring until Alejandro struck again in injury time, putting in the header off a Tserkesidis corner. With his second goal, SLANI went into halftime leading 3–1.
In the second half, many 자스연 (Jasīʼyūn) seemed tired, to the point that Tino Englert struck a beautiful ball past 서강선 (Sū Gaŋ-sūn), his own keeper, giving SLANI a 4–1 lead. Though they had essentially won the game, Alejandro put an exclamation mark on the win in the eighty-first minute, scoring his hat-trick on a bicycle kick, which drew loud cheers from the SLANI supporters at the game. He then went off the field, replaced by Arnold Sims. Despite Rodolfo’s best efforts to make the game close, the match ended 5–1.
As a result of the match, Capitalizt SLANI will face Bedistan on matchday 13 at the Sokojito Überdome. 자스연 (Jasīʼyūn) will have to face world champions Squornshelous in front of fewer supporters at CDA Stadium. When asked about the venue, coach Davida Yesta said, “Hey, it’s the second-biggest stadium in the UCS. Four hundred thousand people are going to go watch Bedistan put three past the Capitalizts. Playing at CDA Stadium just means there’ll only be a hundred and fifty thousand Squornshelans there.”

http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/worldcup/graphics/flags/JSY/ 자스연 (Jasīʼyūn) 1
R. Bolúfero 2
http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/worldcup/graphics/flags/COM/ Capitalizt SLANI 5
Tserkesidis pen 7, A. Bolúfero 19, 45+1, 81, Englert og 48

The Daily Quak
Friendly Not So Friendly

The Quakmybush Sharks played a friendly yesterday. They took on World Number 3 Bedistan at Xed City Stadium. It was a full house, everyone was looking for some entertainment. The teams came out to the cheers of over 175,000 fans, with over 29 million more watching at home. The Sharks came out flying with Jon Fields showing some amazing footwork and hitting a post. Then in the 16th minute when Bedistan's Gang Min-a put in a beautiful shot just out of the reach of Quakmybush keeper Cam Carroll. This took the crowd out of the match. In the 25th minute Harry Gait made a rough tackle, he then received a yellow card. The play seemed to get a bit rougher after this incident with yellow and red cards being handed out left and right. Going into the half the score was 1-0. While Quakmybush was down to nine players and Bedistan has ten players left. It did not get any better in the second half. In the 56th minute Gang Min-a scored his second of the game. Then more yellows and reds. The game ended 2-0 Bedistan. This is not bad for the Sharks, remember Bedistan is number 3 in the world. Well, the real deal starts tomorrow. Be sure to watch it on QMBSN.

Elven Times
Fort Europe Sale: Elves Invited

With all respect to our political allies and regionmate, their football was pitiful last night. Their net was an open house, with four different Marauders putting one in. The Marauders were really clicking on all cyclinders as they had the friendly in the Angelotic Temple in Travesian, a rare treat as most home national team matches are played in the Hatire Memorial in Capri. In front of a capacity crowd, the team gave their supporters something to look forward to in the qualifying matches. Zacharius and Kyla teamed up twice in the first fourty-five, Zacharius feeding Night off a throw in in the 18th minute that the lass had little trouble putting away. The in the 38th, Kyla found her husband with a searching cross, that the stout elf put in with his head and to the jubilation of the crowd. After the half, Revtron took out his two star forwards and put in the controversial Swent and the youngster Rikard. Both would prove their mettle, with Swent getting and assist on a Rikard goal in the 63rd, and then Rikard setting up Constant in the 84th to leave the supporters in a state of absolute frenzy.

However, not all news is good news, and with the releasement of the schedules, the Marauders are looking completely frustrated at the scheduling commitee. In their first three matches, the squad plays the top three seeds in the group, the first two of those away. The first test will be Capitilizt Slani of Commerce Heights, whom the Marauders fell victim to in both matches in the last qualifyiers. The team knows it needs these valuable points early, espicailly with having a last matchday bye and not being in control of their own destiny. Every match is going to matter in this group, with a multitude of nations in the group having the talent that deserves a place in the Proper, but only three of them being able to make it. It is clear that this is the "Group of Death" this tournament, and the Marauders will hope to follow up their good performances with spectacular ones. In order to do that, they will have to fight through the toughest challanges, and hope that Elune will bring them out on top.

Schedule
MD01: ESF v Fort Europe 4-0
MD02: Commerce Heights v ESF
MD03: Krytenia v ESF
MD04: ESF v Turori
MD05: Alasdair I Frosticus v ESF
MD06: Bostopia v ESF
MD07: ESF v The HURD
MD08: ESF v Ropa-Topia
MD09: Nomadasia v ESF
MD10: Bye
MD11: ESF v Demot
MD12: ESF v Commerce Heights
MD13: ESF v Krytenia
MD14: Turori v ESF
MD15: ESF v Alasdair I Frosticus
MD16: ESF v Bostopia
MD17: The HURD v ESF
MD18: Ropa-Topia v ESF
MD19: ESF v Nomadasia
MD20: Bye

Article by Luna Santapa
Edited by Ron Santapa

“Fans of Assegai Developments football, I am Mikaela Eyre, and I’m coming to you live from the Assegai players’ lounge at Cathedral Park, where the members of the Assegai National Team have congregated for a special meeting after a day of practice,” she whispered into the mic.

The busty young woman wiped a strand of red hair from her face and approached defender Barnard Mallowburne, who was snickering quietly with attention focused on a monitor at the front of the dark lounge.

“Barnard, can you explain to our viewers at home what the team is doing to prepare for the match versus Lisburn Mateys?” she asked him quietly.

“Well,” he said laughing softly. “You know how the team is called the Lisburn Mateys? Heh...some of us thought it sounded a lot like one of those funny gangs in the classic movie, ‘The Warriors.’ You know...like The Lizzies or The Baseball Furies. So, a few us got together...and decided to watch the movie after practice to help us relax and spend some quality time together before the game.”

Something funny happens in the movie and the dim room erupts into laughter.

“That’s an interesting way to prepare for the game,” says Mikaela, sitting down next to Barnard. “Do you mind if I join you?”

Barnard nods. “Sure, go right ahead,” he says, making room for her. “We might not beat the Lisburn Mateys but at least we’re going to come out fighting...like Swan and the rest of The Warriors.”

“Well, after all the training, this must be a nice departure,” she says, smiling.

“You bet,” he responds. “Oh yeah... We have a message for the Mateys from the whole squad.” He stands on the couch. “Hey, guys! What’s our message for the Mateys?”

“MaaaAAAaaaaaAAAaaaateys! Come out to plaaaAAAaaaaAAAaaaay!” all the players yell out in unison, some of them going into a fit of laughter.

“Hah! Well, back to the movie,” says Mikaela laughing aloud. “This is Mikaela Eyre reporting live from the players’ lounge at Cathedral Park. Assegai fans, tonight Assegai plays host to Lisburn Mateys; don’t miss it!”

A rampaging horde of Fans where getting into the Sel Appan Stadium and doing quite alot of Damage to it, well that would have happened if the supporters had the streak of Hooliganism that other national teams had but instead they sat in stuned silence.... a Draw, a high scoring draw 4-4 but this was not how it was meant to be. Many people had no idea why the BFSA had a friendly with a team like Sel Appa, perhaps it was to give the team a confidence boost against a weaker team? Maybe they thought Sel Appa was someone else or maybe they didn't even know it was Sel Appa. Either way the Bazalope fans that had traveled to Sel Appa to watch the friendly (admitidly there where very few). What they expected was a Bazalonian dominated game and that was certainly what they got for the first 20 minutes in which the first the Bazalonian goals where scored and so the team went into a tread water mode. This was where they made their first mistake... Not making the score a blow out still allowed the Sel Appans at least some semblence of hope and so they probed and proded and tested the Bazalonian Defense, again and again and again. It seemed to be quite strong, "The Bandit" made sure of that however it was in the few minutes after half-time (which incidently the score was still 3-0) that the First Sel Appan Goal was scored. 3-1, this goal had two effects 1stly it made the Bazalonian defense scramble but in a way that everyone was confused and 2ndly it boosted the Sel Appans chances and Morale.

Almost a Barage of Sel Appan goals came within the next 25 minutes... 3 more making the Sel Appans take the lead for the first time in the match from the Bazalopes. This finally caused the Bazalope Attack to "pull their finger out" in the dying minutes of the match Peter Hobble evened the score up but it was too late the end of the game had ended in what amounted to an embarrasing draw for the Bazalopes. After the match a press conference was being held in the BFSA press room. James Gaines was there facing the reporters.

"Good evening ladies and Gentlemen.. Today the Bazalopes faced a scare in this pre-world cup friendly. The Sel Appans performed very admirably and held us to a 4 all draw. This result was certainly unexpected by us all, but I think it will give us the fuel we need to not only qualify but to take the top seeding in this group away from Bedistan. A nation that we have played many times before both in the World Cup and in AOCAF as well. This scare means that the team will be more alert and not complacent about their matches against lowly ranked teams. We will come back from this low and reach great heights in the world cup. Any questions?"

"Hi, Julia Zenn from Baz-FM, Is the team finally in need of an overhaul? This shocking performance surely means that the team is finally getting too old as this will be their 7th world Cup."

"No, the team is not in need of any current overhaul everyone is still in peak fitness and their skills and experience are about as strong as ever?"

"Hello, Nev Gould from Bazalonia Today, There have been rumors around that the team didn't even know that there was a friendly let alone it was against Sel Appa until a week before they got on the plane. Any comments?"

"Yes, I can assure you that the team knew of the friendly well before getting on their special BazAir service to Sel Appa for the match, also if you are implying that the team was not properly prepared for their match, I not only deny this but I will say as well there was little more that we could do."

"What do you think of this new 10 group re-draw?"

"I'm annoyed that it had to happen but I see with the discussions that I have had with the hosting comittee that it had to happen, I'm surprised that we once again face Bedistan but they're the breaks. Our first official Qualifying match is at home against Green Wombats, They have managed to climb upto 54 in the rankings but have not really accomplished much in their World Cup campaign. I think we'll win this one. Okay, one final Question.

"What about the comments from the Az-Cz media about Bazalonia becoming this World Cup's 3rd place team?"

"It's far to early to tell, the first qualifying match has not even started yet, but we should make it to the World Cup considering we are considered to be in the top 20 of the world. Though as to the Semi-finals, I just have no idea. Anything can Happen in the World Cup... we could win it or get knocked out in the first round. I can't speculate at the moment. Well Thank you."

and with that the press conference was ended James Gaines left and the assembled media finished their notes and started to drift away.

The Isserson Expects

THE Isserson Stadium. Resplendent with its red bucket seats (all 115,000 of them), host of a World Cup Final, two AOCAF Finals, and one final each of the NSCL and AOCL club tournaments. One thing this, and indeed, no other ground still in existance, has seen is this; a Krytenian national side in the final of a major tournament. Only once has Krytenia reached such heights; the final of the seventh AOCAF tournament, in the long-ruined nation of South Osettia. But there is a tangible feeling among the Aces faithful; the unbowing belief that this time, this cup, they will make it.

It's as if the pieces are all starting to fall into place. Ricky Mallon has steered them one step away twice, Sam Duffy is maturing like a fine malt whisky, and, in last week's Cafetiere Cup curtain-raiser in Vanguard, the national team's new number nine showed hop that the future is indeed Orange. Jermaine Orange bagged himself a brace in the game against the Phoenicians, with the aforementioned Duffy and veteran Josh Quinnell grabbing the other two in a thrilling four-three victory.

Tomorrow night, though, the Isserson gets a taste of the new blood as Krytenia take on Casari in their final friendly before getting down to the nitty-gritty of qualification. The Casarans, champions when Krytenia co-hosted the tournament a decade ago, should be the perfect sharpener for the Aces; both sides, though, will come out and play, and it will be a game for the fans almost as much as the players, with a party atmosphere expected all across Everton City. Yet there is only one thing that will bring the city, and the nation, to fever pitch; going to Geisenfried and Milchama in two years' time, and returning with a certain gold trophy here, to the spiritual home of Krytenian football, the grand old lady; The Isserson Stadium. Maybe this is why the Aces will, for the first time, play all their home games here. A nation awaits, and expects, with baited breath.

DRAW AGAINST NUMBER 18
was the day's headline in almost every major newspaper. The Turtles, ranked 81 in the World, drawed against a team that had 25 more KPB pints and was 63 ranks ahead of them: Bazalonia. The match began with the expected Bazalope juggernaut that by half time had scored three goals, to which Sel Appa returned none. Bazalope captain and top striker Peter "Wolfie" Hobble scored the first goal in the 8th minute, enforcing what was expected: a Sel Appan loss. Midfielder Anthony Creek continued this onslaught with a second Bazalope goal in the 30th minute that many thought should not have counted, but the referee allowed it. Bazalope appeared to secure their winning status with a third goal from striker James Kantwell in the 40th minute. The Turtles were devastated and began to plan for a second half which would involve anythin possible to prevent any further Bazalope goals. Coach Charles DuPont called his team together and discusssed a strategy that seemed possible.

The second half saw Estevez sneaking past the Bazalope defense in the 49th minute and lobbing a nice shot into the net, finally giving Sel Appa a chance. The Turtles were able to rally to this goal which greatly boosted their morale. The Bazalope team fell back, trying to keep their lead. This did little to stop Estevez from returning to the penalty box for a second goal in the 55th minute. Alex Nart also saw himself slam a ball just through a defenders legs and into the net in the 63rd minute. This equalized the match to a nice 3-3. Sel Appan midfielder Arthur Mercator IV stunned spectators thorughout the stadium and several million viewers across Sel Appa as he shot his first international goal past the Bazalope keeper. Bazalonia saw their expected 3-0 lead against a much weaker team evaporate in just 30 minutes. Not only that, but it turned around into a 3-4 loss. Their captain Peter Hobblie desperately managed to equalize the match in extra time with just seconds to spare. It ended out 4-4. The Turtles were impressed with this friendly and had hope for the group matches. Coach Charles DuPont congratulated his team which celebrated as if it had won, while the Bazalope team looked solemn, awed by a 3-0 winning first half turn into a 4-4 final score.

MD02 RP Cutoff

Scores for MD02 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=12076898#post12076898)

SATIVAVILLE STONER

Bringing in the Funk for over 50 years!!

A good start for qualifing today as the Stoners demolished Sunb Nose 39 3-0. As the only team in the group to not only win, but by more than 1 goal, Sativaville finds itself, for however long it will last, on top of Group 5.

Emil Timmermann started off the scoring with a nice lobbed shot that went right over the SN39 keep in the 39th minute giving the Stoners a 1-0 lead. Timmermann followed it up with another goal, this one in injury time in the waning moments of the 1st half. Emmanuel Adelman added the final goal in the 78th minute, giving Sativaville only their 2nd opening match win. Trent Estorga was brilliant in net, stopping 5 shots and assisting on Adelman's goal.

SCORING:
Timmermann (2): 39', 45+'
Adelman- 78'
Yellow Cards:
William Loogie: 56'
Lamont Oharra: 71'

After the carnage that was the match, HC Joe Gurt was last seen heading towards the locker rooms....

"*^&k...&^&k...&^*k " Joe Yelled at his fellow sociopaths. " We blew a ^$^&ing 2-0 lead with 20 minutes to play!!! We HAD them beat.. literally. The refs were so ##d-damn scared of us, they didn't bother trying to call yellow cards or red. Slipknot.. i liked the way you kicked that one guy in the throat. He was coughing up blood for the rest of the match. And Helena.. I don't wanna know what you did to that midfielder, but any time he got near you he just began to cover up his crotch and run the other way.

And for the bad news... WICHER!!!! So $%^@ing %ew *(&*ard.. They scored 3 Mutha-&^#$ing goals!!! Gimme one good $!d-damn reason not to slit your &*&~ing throat right now!"

Wicher: " 'cause I'm the only one on the dammned team who can play soccer. And i've figured out way for us to lose these dammed GPS-tracking devices they installed into our necks."

Joe: "Well, I bet those *&^%ers didn't think you could do that... Ok We still got more game left to play.. I wanna see more blood out ther next time!"

After the team showered and left, only one person remained, laughing his chilling laugh, while fingering a knife.

(goal scorers: Joe Gurt 35', The Jester 42')

“Assegai fans, forgive me for shouting, but I am in the middle of what could best be described as a mob,” yells Mikaela Eyre in the midst of a rabble of Assegai supporters celebrating all around her. “In case you missed it…and I am pretty sure you didn’t, Assegai played a tremendous game tonight, earning a respectable 1-1 draw with the tough Lisborn Mateys side.”

An Assegai supporter runs by her waving the flag of the Republic as the fans begin chanting, “Through the dearth of darkest night! Through the brightest day and light! We support you, mighty, mighty ASSEGAI! ASSEGAI!”

Mikaela laughs.

“Well, before we get mobbed ourselves, let’s cut to footage taken in the post-game press conference,” she yells.


“With all due respect to Lisburn Mateys, we went out there to win,” says Assegai team captain Ashley Riot. “From the moment we hit the field, until the final whistle blew, our intention was to win; losing is never an option. But, you know what? Against a team of this caliber, we’ll take the draw,” he says, laughing.


“Lisburn Mateys had me scrambling around like a spider-monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew,” laughed Assegai keeper Edward van de Beauchamp. “When Lisburn’s Richard Dougherty scored on me in the 5th minute, it could have left me shaken. No keeper wants to give up a goal that early. But the defense put the clamps on Dougherty and Niel Livingston. Although they got off 10 more shots after that, they were mostly off-balance and hurried shots, so I must give a lot of credit to our defense.”


“Wow…just, wow. I don’t know what to say,” chirped 18-year-old Assegai forward Samantha Neesa. “We never gave up after that early goal. And, let me tell you, those Lisburn Mateys gave us all we could handle. It took a solid team effort for us to even hang with them. Edward’s being modest when he says that our defense helped us, but he made several spectacular saves—he kept us in the game. When I finally scored that goal in the 78th minute, it was incredible. My ears are still ringing with the screams of “GOAL” from our supporters. Much love, Assegai!”


“You know…for a while there, I though we were going to beat Lisburn Mateys,” said Assegai forward Severus Snape. “Did you notice how the tide in the match turned after Samantha’s goal? About three or four of our shots could have won the game. But that Brian Livingston fella stopped all those shots. He’s a worthy opponent and I was fortunate to get the pass to Samantha just out of the reach of his fingers for the goal.”


“Brilliant, I tell you,” beamed Assegai manager Sir Knight Edgard Zúniga. “I couldn’t have asked for a more gutsy performance from my kids tonight. Now, we must turn our attention to our next game. We’re traveling to Stromboland and we’re not taking them lightly. I don’t care who they are, I’m going to push my players to go out there and give their all.”

Came for a Soccer and Left after a Boxing bout by Nev Gould

The Bazalonian Federation of Soccer Association played the host to the first World Cup Qualifier against Green Wombat, in a game where the Bazalopes prepared to play soccer it seemed their opponents came here to play an entirely different game. The Green Wombats looked like they wheredoing a boxing match rather than a soccer tournament.

Peter Hobble was struck early in the match by a player known as Slipknot in the neck causing Wolfie to cough up blood. After taking advice from the Doctor not to return to the field, he did so anyone. "We can't let these guys know they have won." he was reported to say by one of the groundsmen. And it seemed that Benjamin "Benny Boy" Peters had a low blow in the 3rd minute from Helena and she showed she meant business. Other events including intimidation of the game officials as well as plenty of lesser illegal physicalities against the Bazalonian players.

All this should have been reported by the match officials but none of it went and the team didn't really know how to counter such actions however still the defense managed to hold reasonably firm and did prevent 2 near certain goals. The Offense proved itself at the end of the match by managing to give some of their own back to them. Nothing to the extent but it showed the Green Wombats that their aggression was not going to be taken lying down. The match ended with Peter Hobble scoring 2 of the goals and Benny Boy Peters getting the third. And that is what I call poetic Justice.

Speaking of whichSlipknot and Helena have been charged by Fauxhan local police with Assault occasioning Actual Bodily Harm. The Status of these individuals and what will happen with them is yet to be determined, however a Spokesperson for the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade has stated. "We have approached and are now discussing what will happen to these 2 individuals with the appropriate department of the Green Wombat government.

An official from the Fauxhan Police has stated.. "We certainly did not expect that we would have to arrest foreign sportspeople, Even though you may play soccer you cannot use it as an excuse to beat the be-jesus out of your opponents. We would not tollerate these actions if they where Bazalonian Citizens so I don't see why we should treat these foreign players any different."

The Enlightener: don't miss today's 'Everything You Need To Know About Giant Ants' supplement
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/FAB.jpg

Bettia Preserve 100% Record

Cuation 1 (James 23)
Bettia 3 (Rhydderch 37, Scott 46, Kurniawan 86)


The Aroras kept their impressive winning streak in World Cup 32 alive and well, thanks to this opening day victory away to Cuation that leaves them with one win from one game. Bettia came into this game still smarting slightly from their first round defeat at the hands of Cuation at the last World Cup, and were eager for a spot of revenge.

However, they were made to work for it by the home side, who lined up in their usual defensive 5-3-2 formation, and the first twenty minutes were a largely forgettable affair as both sides seemed to cancel each other other out and the game quickly descended into a midfield tussle. That deadlock was broken on 23 minutes as young defender Ledley James rose up above everyone else to head home Cuation's first corner of the match.

As has so often been the case, the Aroras have often needed a kick up the jacksie before getting their arse in gear, and today was no exception as going a goal down seemed to spur them on a bit. Slowly, bit by bit, they edged their way forwards, making use of whatever space was on the wings until finally, a quarter of an hour after falling behind, they clawed themselves back level as Gwarthen Rhydderch struck home a Kurniawan cross on the half-volley.

Where the first half was a slow, languid affair, the second half literally exploded straight from the off. A blistering Kurniaway run straight from the kick-off resulted in the flying winger being upended a few yards outside the penalty area, and midfield dynamo Barry Scott was more than happy to blast the free-kick home to put the Aroras ahead, much to the delight of the travelling hordes of Bettians, all decked out in the Aroroas change strip of blue and white.

The second half continued at full pace, with both teams launching counter-attacks whenever possible. Bettia's two wingers, Kurniawan and Vaughen, caused plenty of problems in particular, and substitute Sonny Sabitha certainly made a good impression, pluggins away and carved out one or two chances as the youngster pressed home his claim for a starting slot. It was Bettia who had the last laugh as Eri Kuniawan was on hand to slot home the third, lurking on the far side of the penalty area to pounce on a cross by Egryn Vaughen after it was was missed by everyone.

This was certainly a tough opener for the Aroras, and to come away with such a good result stands them in good stead as the prepare for the first of two back-to-back home games against Gold TyGrr at Akani Sands' Shubunkin Park.

Fixtures

Home games shown in bold.

MD01: -
MD02: Cuation W 3-1 (at Southern Island Peaks)
MD03: The Gold TyGrr (Shubunkin Park, Akani Sands)
MD04: Tynelia (Tiddles Park, Gabalfa)
MD05: Seckland
MD06: Yafor 2
MD07: -
MD08: Dorian & Sonya (Tiddles Park, Gabalfa)
MD09: Jerusalem (Tiddles Park, Gabalfa)
MD10: Dumania
MD11: -
MD12: Cuation (Tiddles Park, Gabalfa)
MD13: The Gold TyGrr
MD14: Tynelia
MD15: Seckland (Campus Ground, Grappenhall)
MD16: Yafor 2 (Tiddles Park, Gabalfa)
MD17: -
MD18: Dorian & Sonya
MD19: Jerusalem
MD20: Dumania (Al-Fath Stadium, Sukatra)

Dazza: I'm Dazza Dallas
Ricky: And I'm Ricky Pointy Stick - and this is THE FOOTBALL LIFE
Dazza: It's World Cup thirty plus two, and the action is on the field.
Ricky: And it was hot.

Dazza: No, today's game was not something from the Women's World Cup. Yes 75% of the players were female but it was a proper World Cup game.
Ricky: A great way to start.
Dazza: Hey Ricky, what where you looking at - the game or the girls?
Ricky: You Dazza, and all those Dorian and Sonya team members.

Dazza: I can't blame you, the Dorian and Sonya sure are all lookers but in the end the skill of the Jeruselem team prevailed.
Ricky: Jeruselem won TWO NIL, scored by two Jeruselem girls. It was a girl's day today overall. The guys on the field were pretty happy too. Actually this cup, there are more male than female players available.
Dazza: But the coach put out all the Jeruselem female players today against the Unicorns.
Ricky: Most of them in defense. Oh yes, Dazza score a goal today.

Dazza: I always get my man, err, goal. Yeah. Other games - where I think there were more male players on the field. Tynelia, Yafor 2 and Bettia all won.
Ricky: Well the poor old lower teams just had a bad day. Seckland got a lesson 4-0 from Yafor 2 and that Gold team lost to Tynelia 3-0.
Dazza: Cuation had the chance to show their credentials against Bettia - and failed. Bettia walked all over them THREE ONE. Bettia aren't here for fun.
Ricky: Nedalians must be happy all round today - including me.

Dazza: Speaking of the Lions! Nedalia played Bedistan today and guess what happened?
Ricky: They lost again.
Dazza: Only ONE NIL. Not bad, actually it was like this last world cup.
Ricky: Well, Nedalia lost the next few games - I hope this time they start winning early games to they don't need to win all their last ones.

Dazza: YAP YAP and what's today's commercial promotion.
Ricky: It's cheap gym memberships. If you join during the World Cup 32 at Debbie's Place. 50% off, hey that's your sisters business?
Dazza: Ya, 50% off - male or female, alien or human. Offer starts now until end of this cup. Yes I do own shares in that business.
Ricky: I've been there and it's good place too. Run by professionals and lovely owner - with lots of kids like me. Not to mention the owner's sister (points at Dazza)

Dazza: That's it for the FOOTBALL LIFE, 1st one for World Cup 32.
Ricky: Hey, no baring flesh Dazza! You becoming more mature?
Dazza: Later, later. I'm taking it easier on the viewers for now.

Group 10:
Dorian and Sonya [0-2] Jeruselem
The Gold TyGrr [0-3] Tynelia
Yafor 2 [4-0] Seckland
Cuation [1-3] Bettia

Wow. What an honor. I was the chosen soccer ball for the world cup opening match. And not just for some lowlevel match like Florida Oranges hosting The Mushroom Kingship, but a match between two quality sides in The Islands of Qutar and Az-cz. With both teams being in the top 30 and world cup qualifiers last time, this was certainly one of the key matchups for the day.

Let me tell you it was an interesting day, but I came to know the shoes of one player very well. If you follow these two teams you can guess who that was. Of course it was Pizelkaxrovsky.

The Gnomes took the opening kickoff and almost immdediately I was flying wide through the air to Kn-Dg. The Gnomes seemed to be worried about their defense and trying to force their offensive pace to compensate. And it was working like mad. I'd leave one set of Pink & Green cleats and find myself quickly at the feet of another. It in fact took only 7 minutes for the Gnomes to fire me into the net. Pizelkaxrovsky kicked me wide to Kn-Dg who swung me to Hmr-Pn coming up the middle and he latched home and blasted me into the net.

The Qutari keeper was disgusted with that turn of events and I paid the price. After he scooped me out of the net he smalled me back into the ground and then pounded on me a few times.

Now look, we soccer balls are used to getting kicked around. For the most part we can absorb the phsyical jarring. But we don't like the mental anguish that comes with the screaming and yelling and punching and what not of goalkeepers after they've allowed a goal. So here's some advice for you pansies: QUIT YOUR WHINING AND PLAY BETTER FOOTBALL YOU LOSERS!!!

Now once again the game continued with the Gnomes controlling the flow of play. In this period of time I came banging off the Qutari crossbar once. It's always interesting when you meet a post, cause really there's no idea what's gonna happen. Usually we can tell from the speed of the kick and what not where we're going to go, but the bar just throws are sense of balance all out of whack. On this particular occasion I just came flying back into the field of play.

Anyways I spent very little time in the Gnomes defensive quadrant in the first half. I enjoyed my nice relaxing half time breaking waiting for the match to continue. I must applaud the Qutari choice of halftime show. That woman eating bear magic trick was definitely a new one to me.

In the second half Pizelkaxrovsky made sure that I'd get to reacquaint myself with the net and the Qutari keeper. Three minutes into the half he earned a freekick outside the Qutari box and curled me home. The looping feeling was just ecstatic. That amazing control is something few balls will ever be so lucky to experience.

From there the Gnomes really went into possession mode. Pizelkaxrovsky dropped back and they mostly tried just to hold possession. Alot of moving forward than moving back and just playing keep away from the Qutaris. I'll admit I get bored doing this. I prefer more exciting games. But if you're a team with some defensive weaknesses and you can execute it, ball control is an effective strategy.

So the game ended just like that. I only got to meet the net twice. Still two times isn't bad. As for what happens for me now, I understand that the Az-cz team will be putting me in their Soccer Hall of Fame. Apparently this was the first time they ever beat a top 32 team on the road. There only other win over a team ranked this high or higher came at a neutral site. So I will help commemorate it for them. Of course I'd like to have been involved in more scoring, but for a ball you can't really complain.

Dear Diary,

Can you imagine what it is to look after the feet of 15 fit and attractive women between the ages of 20 and 31? All I can say is that I have the best job in the world. I manage their footwear, strap their ankles and tend to their injuries.

Who am I talking about? The female members of the national football team, of course. In a squad of 22 players 15, that’s right – 15, are women.

Wow.

So 7 of them aren’t. Well, that’s a small price to pay. Actually 2 of the 7 might be women but they aren’t letting on. Not publicly anyway. It’s not easy keeping secrets like that in the change rooms of a mixed gender football team. I’m not letting on though, even in my diary. Put it down to loyalty.

Feet have personalities all their own. Take lyseup for example. She has long, slender feet and bulgy ankles. No off the shelf boots for her. Standard sizes are either too loose or too short. She also has long and powerful calf muscles. When her left foot swings at the ball – POW! What an arc! What kinetic energy! Irresistible force meets a most movable object.

Her 2nd and 3rd toes are longer than her big toe so her nickname is Raptor. If we had 11 of her on the field we’d make mincemeat of any opposition.(I wonder where I learnt that expression from. It’s not very vegetarian of me.)

One of the reasons I mention lyseup is that she kicked both goals in the 2-nil defeat of Haraki today at the National Downfall Stadium here in First Creek Falls. Both were in the 2nd half – in the 52nd and 73rd minutes according to the Age. They weren’t breathtakingly skilful. She just made all the right moves, followed the team plan, made sure she was in the right place at the right time and outsmarted the Harakis. Mind you, her cannonball (now I’m using military metaphors!) kicks on goal are legendary in Errinundera.

Another reason I mention her is to have an excuse to paste her picture into my diary.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/lyseup.jpg

Now, if I remember correctly lyseup was a former scholarship holder at the University of Rêvane in Ariddia. We were going to have a pre-qualifying friendly against them but it wasn’t organised in time. Shame about that. Ariddia is our favourite place to visit. Then again, Vilita was pretty cool also. I’ll never forget the ocean in those places – endlessly enticing.

Which reminds me of the big announcement today. Errinundera is holding an international friendly against Spaam on match day 11. This year is the 100th anniversary of the World Cup 7 Final when Errinundera defeated Spaam in a penalty shoot out. This reversed a heartstopping (by all accounts) loss against them in the semi-finals of the previous cup. The government has announced a national public holiday on the day of the match. Spaam is ranked 19 and Errinundera 31. It’s going to be bigger than big.

World Cup 32 is turning out to be an historically significant event for the potoroos. We played Haraki, Squornshelous and Commerce Heights (without the JSY) in the classical era (Cups 5 through 9) as well as Spaam. We also played Ariddia – such a pity we couldn’t manage a friendly but I think I already said that.

The friendly against Spaam will be held at the National Downfall Stadium, which brings me back to today’s match. The big dry is continuing in Errinundera. It’s been going over four years now. The famous Hairy Man Falls that should be dominating one end of the ground is only a trickle down the rock face. Many of the old trees of the city have died. The bushfire danger is extreme. Wisely, this game, like all the home games to be held during qualifying, was played in the cool of the evening.

The banter between the rival fans was entertaining. We chanted, “Money Huggers”. They responded with “Tree Rooters”. We chanted, “Police Stooges”. They replied, “Dope Heads”. I think we won the insult battle, more from enthusiasm than wit. We did outnumber them and we did win the match on the field convincingly. The scoreboard kept flashing up the message, “Most Beautiful Environment in the world: Errinundera 547th, Haraki 35,659th.”

Anyway, I’ve got to go now – there are 22 pairs of boots to polish. All in high quality micro-fibre.

Yours faithfully.

mckennap
strapper and bootstudder for the potoroos

The Spruitland game hit them before they realised it. "Everybody wake up! Now now now!" Matt Wood came storming in, throwing the team off their mattresses. "There's been a re-draw, we're playing Spruitland!"



The Player's groaned, they'd just lost to Cuation and Lucius had kept them up all night with an inspiring speech.


"Move move!" Yelled Matt Wood "We've got a big day ahead!"


-------------------


New Propagandia 1 - Spruitland 2
Starr 40' ???
???


New Propagandia's goal and first of the game came when there was a free kick at the edge of the penalty box. Ryane hadn't been performing well and Starr asked to take it, having no luck trying his headers. He hit it, chipping it over the wall and to the side of the goal, the Goalkeeper dived but not far enough to palm it away. The New Propagandians were delighted.


But Spruitland went on the attack after half time, with a superb chip over Liberkine.


Then in the 70th minute, the left winger crossed the ball but it bounced off Vesputous. They threw the ball into the middle of the box, one of the midfielders heading it into the right corner of the net, Liberkine unable to see where it was coming from in the scramble of players untill it was too late.


The game dissolved into boring hoofing from there on untill the final whistle.


New Propagandia ratings:

Liberkine 5, Smithson 7, Vesputous 7, Hayden 7, Red 6, Lovett 7, Steele 7, Ryane 5, Reyes 7, Nielson 7, Starr 8. Subs: Corbet 7(for Red, half-time), Chesly 7(for Ryane, 75')


Report by Mark Aarons


---------


The locker room was crowded with all the players except Chesly, Khuzaymah and Red crowded around Starr who was raving about scoring the first ever New Propagandia international goal.


"It was brilliant guys, such an adrenaline rush! You should've seen the 'keepers face!"


"Yeah, he was like "Whoa what was that?!"" Said a very excited Callum Smithson.


"Yeah, I mean, Spruitland are ranked twenty but they narrowly beat us. We lost but we're still doing well for an unranked team." Said Nielson.


Lucius Andrews then came in.


"You did very well. You made a few mistakes but it's only our second international game. Especially Starr, you really brought inspiration to our country. I'm not quite sure what happened to you though, Dante you did so well against Cuation but now you've suddenly dipped in performance."


"Yeah, I just kinda lost it. Sorry guys." Replied Dante Ryane sheepishly.


"And you too Red. Though I can't say Corbet did much better." Said Lucius.


"Well at least I tried." Replied Corbet, arms folded.


"Still, I'm not taking anything away from you. It's a good start now we've got to go one better. Join me, Wood and Carr at the Football Association building tommorrow for tactics discussion."


"Who're we up against next again, coach?" Asked Flint Wurst.


"Noremark. And the prospects look good. They lost three to nil against Fmjphoenix. Their morale should be down, the only problem is they're at home." Said Lucius Andrews.


"That's a good chance." Commented Reyes.


"That's great, Noremark here we come!" Lovett yelled excitedly.


"Remember. Training and tactics tommorrow at zero nine hundred hours sharp. And I suggest you bring your luggage with you."



--------


New Propagandia World Cup 32 Schedule


MD01: Cuation(L 0-1)
MD02: Spruitland(L 1-2)
MD03: Noremark(Away)
MD04: N/A
MD05: Choobie Internation(Away)
MD06: Aurendia(Home)
MD07: Casari(Home)
MD08: Fmjphoenix(Away)
MD09: Marceau State(Away)
MD10: Spindomia(Home)
MD11: Bostopia(Home)
MD12: Spruitland(Away)
MD13: Noremark(Home)
MD14: N/A
MD15: Choobie Internation(Home)
MD16: Aurendia(Away)
MD17: Casari(Away)
MD18: Fmjphoenix(Home)
MD19: Marceau State(Home)
MD20: Spindomia(Away)

[Lyle] Hello, I'm Brian Lyle, and welcome to the first highlights show of the year from World Cup 32 Qualifying. Tonight, we have Roger Pinton and Craig Hiffon, formerly of the Bostopian national team, along with Kevin Olling analysing tonights games.

Of course, we'll be showing you extended highlights of Bostopia's game against Ropa-Topia, but first, let's take a look at the other games we'll be covering. We have all the games from Group 2, Commerce Heights versus Elves Security Forces, The HURD versus Tutori, and Alasdair I Frosticus versus Nomadasia. Also, we'll be showing Bedistan versus Nedalia - which is our second extended highlights game, The Islands of Qutar versus Az-cz, Cataduanes versus Sel Appa, Okielahoma versus Liverpool England, New Montreal States versus would-be hosts Dance 2 Revolution, Demot versus Rejistania and Starblaydia versus Northern Caesarea.

And now, as promised, Bostopia versus Ropa-Topia, from the Bostopia Arena in Fort Boston."

The screen cuts to a graphic showing the map of the region, before zooming in to a birds-eye view of the Bostopia Arena, with an on-screen graphic showing a crowd of 76,468 had attended.

[Conway] Hi I'm Byron Conway, with Ty Avery, commentating on today's game against Ropa-Topia. We have a near-to-capacity crowd today of seventy-six thousand in what is Bostopia's first World Cup Qualifier of the season.
[Avery] That's right Byron, and the crowd looks totally pumped up and ready to go. Well, the players are out and it's time for the national anthems.

The players line up, and the national anthem of Ropa-Topia is played, which is respectfully observed by the Bostopian fans, with no booing or jeering of any sort. Following this, the national anthem of Bostopia is played, which the whole crowd sings along to, creating an electric atmosphere.

[Avery] Let's hope that really gets the Bostopian players going, and gives a massive kick-start to this campaign.
[Conway] I sure hope so. And it's Bostopia to kick off, after winning the coin toss, and they get this season's qualification campaign underway!

--13th Minute--

[Conway] That shot saved easily by Dave Kripp. He throws the ball out to Young in the centre of Bostopia's defense, who collects it and comes forward with the ball, passing it left to Rob Kripp. Kripp now on the halfway line, and he plays a high ball to the right flank where Dan Reppon is free. Reppon now, charging forward toward the Ropa-Topian penalty area, he plays a ball to the edge of the D for Steven Serrrrrrrrrring! Ohh so close, that's gone just wide.
[Avery] Yes it has, excellent build-up play from the Bostopians though, great ball from Rob Kripp also.

--37th Minute--

[Conway] Ropa-Topia get a free-kick here, following a poor tackle from Virik. It didn't look like a foul, but I'm not a referee.
[Avery] And you're Bostopian.
[Conway] Haha yes that too. It looks like it's going to be...well, I can't pronounce that, to take the freekick from about 25 yards out...AND IT'S IN! Curled into the top-right corner of the Bostopian goal, and the visitors go 1 - 0 up!
[Avery] That's a blow, Bostopia's had most of the possession, but they've squandered it due to poor finishing and now they're one-nil down.

--65th Minute--

[Conway] Adam Collick using up all his substitutes there. Manfred Harrick coming on in place of the booked Virik, Andy Perrar for John Willis and Brandon Dingaer on for Ossie Loarning.

--81st Minute--

[Conway] Bostopia really piling on the pressure now looking for that equaliser. The ball's played forward from defense from Harrick with a low pass toward Serring...but the ball's been intercepted and Ropa-Topia can break now! A shot comes from 30 yards ouuuuuut! Well, that's another unpronounceable name, but Kripp saved that well.

--88th Minute--

[Conway] A corner for Bostopia! And even Dave Kripp's come up for this one! Trent takes the corner from the right hand side with his left foot, the ball's swung in to KRIPP! DAVE KRIPP! A MARVELLOUS HEADER AT THE BACK POST! AND IT'S ONE ONE! BOSTOPIA EQUALISES! Can you believe that?
[Avery] How often do you see the keeper score? Not very, but Dave's come up at the perfect moment! Perhaps he should start playing centre-forward.

--93rd Minute--

[Conway] And that's the game!

Final Score

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/bostopia.png 1 - 1 http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ropa-topia.png

Amda-Mo: Here we are again. Well that was a great way to start the qualifiers wouldn't you say Lur-Mn.

Lur-Mn: Definitely, almost as great as you look tonight.

Amda-Mo: You kid. So Lur-Mn, explain how we were so good out there tonight?

Lur-Mn: Well really there's not a lot of explaining to do. It's just Pizelkaxrovsky. When he takes over we can beat anybody. He was absolutely key tonight, both for our offense and defense.

Amda-Mo: We all saw how he set up one goal and scored the other, but how was he key for the defense?

Lur-Mn: Well he absolutely dominated the flow of the game. He put great passes together, so that even when Qutar found the ball they had to do a lot of things to get into scoring position. There were no breakaways and no chances to take advantage of mispositioning by Hmr-Pn or either of the wingbacks.

Amda-Mo: Speaking of Hmr-Pn how was he tonight?

Lur-Mn: Well his timing on the goal was fantastic. He really snuck forward well and blasted in a fine goal. As for his role as a defensive midfielder, it's hard to say. Pizelkaxrosvky was so good today that he didn't have to shine. He was ok, but he did look a little out of position. We probably won't be able to tell much after the game against Anrow. We'll really learn how he's doing when we travel to Sel Appa.

Amda-Mo: How big do you think this win is?

Lur-Mn: It's huge. It really sets us up well. Now it's just three points but it's three of the most difficult points to earn. A draw would've been a good result and a loss wouldn't really have hurt our chances. With Cataduanes only drawing with Sel Appa and Okielahoma getting pasted by Liverpool England we've already put some ground between us and our biggest competitors.

Amda-Mo: Other than Pizelkaxrovsky and Hmr-Pn, what players had noticeable performances for you, good or bad?

Lur-Mn: Especially no one. The attacking midfielders would very good as expected and Hubertino looked more comfortable out there. The defense reacted well the few times they were called into duty. But Pizelkaxrovsky really did obfuscate the play of everyone else.

Amda-Mo: Alright looking ahead towards Anrow.

Lur-Mn: This is a team that visited during the Baptism of Fire. They've been to Az-cz before, but they really struggled here. We'll be hosting them in Slimes Stadium. With all the fans travelling out to the capital city I don't fancy them having much shot.

Amda-Mo: Predicition?

Lur-Mn: Something to the tune of 5-0 Az-cz. Look for Kn-Dg to get significantly into the action. Of the main attackers he's the only one without a goal so far. Expect that to change.

Amda-Mo: This is where I'd like to leave you with my random groupings, but they just weren't very popular as a whole, so my producers have cut it down to just three awards. (she reaches into a box) This weeks theme is: baby goods?!? Lur-Mn, do you think I can change that?

Lur-Mn: It's a weird one to be sure, but go ahead.

Amda-Mo: Alright then the Mother's Nipple award, for the best thing one could hope for goes to Pizelkaxrovsky. He was absolute scrumptious out there today. I'm sure, like the nipple, everyone wanted him today.

The diaper award for pure savior award goes to Gn-Lg: A nice clean sheet. Yes not much work today but he did handle what came his way.

And finally the baby's carriage award goes to Caine Hawdon. Coach Hawdon when this award for the fine job he did of preparing the team for this match in Qutar.

Well goodnight everyone

Lur-Mn: See you soon.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png Ariddia 2-0 Stromboland http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/stromboland.png

Mixed reactions after opening match

Watch ( http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/1856/pinawc32ao7.jpg) constant World Cup 32 news updates on PINA ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Public_International_News_Ariddia)!

It should have been a walk-over. A triumphant, confidence-boosting start to a new World Cup. Ariddian (ranked 9th) played Stromboland (176th) in Darras Olympic Stadium, Rêvane, in front of an excited home crowd. . . and won the match on the rather sober score of 2-0.

“It was a victory, an unquestionable victory, and that’s good enough for me,” one supporter said. Others, however, were somewhat disappointed: “We should have made the most of it to score lots of goals, build up a good goal differential. It’s been a wasted opportunity.”

Good start or not, it did give the Rouge-et-Noirs three points, and left them (for now) at the top of Group 7. Perhaps inevitably, the omnipresent Hanifah Kyaw ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Hanifah_Kyaw) scored the opening goal, followed by Najmah Majrashi, who recently joined the mixed-gender national team after playing for the all-female one. The Rouge-et-Noirs dominated the match with ease from start to finish, but were not nearly as attack-focused as usual, and occasionally shot well wide of the mark, prompting concern among fans.

“We should have won at least five-nil. Maybe four-nil,” one supporter said, looking faintly worried.

Meanwhile, in group 2, Ropa-Topia drew 1-1 against Bostopia, and the Archregimancy thrashed Schnabo 5-0 in group 9. In group 8, Errinundera defeated Haraki comfortably by 2-0. Ariddians have echoed Errinundrian wishes for a friendly between the two nations.

“We’ll see what we can organise,” AFA President Anna Teals promised.

Four of Ariddia’s players – Xavier Xu ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Xavier_Xu), John Cohen, Ke Sho ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ke_Sho) and Cassie Lee ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Cassie_Lee) – have trained at various times in Errinundera, and all have fond memories of their stay there.

“There are no other people quite like the Errinundrians,” Ke Sho said. “And I mean that as a compliment, of course!”

“Errinundrians, I miss you all!” ‘Princess’ Cassie Lee added, waving in greeting through the camera.

<symbol of the “Tynelian Nightly Sporting News with Jeff Jefferson” looms in the background>

Jeff Jefferson: So Matt, do you think instant replay needs to be a factor in future capture the flag matchups after today’s controversial call that we’ve been discussing the past 25 minutes?

Matt Simms: Definitely Jeff, I mean even a blind ref could clearly see that Timothy Williams clearly got a piece of Tasha Towers right arm as she made her way back with the flag. The ref blew the call and Tasha ended up winning the match for her side when she avoided everyone else and got the flag back to her side. Reply would give the refs a chance to get the call right and that’s what matters here.

Tom Thompson: Are you insane Matt? I mean these games are meant to be played by people and people make mistakes. Its always been that way so why mess with things now?

Matt: Moron, so you think being wrong and robbing a team of their rightful victory is ok? Games are supposed to be won by the team that plays best not because some ref was watching a bunny run by when he should have been watching the match.

Tom: Listen Matt, you want replay in everything. How about chess? Would be real good to find out if someone really did take their finger off the piece after they moved it. Very controversial stuff that.

Matt: That’s the best idea I’ve heard from you. Yes let’s get the calls right so no one gets robbed.

Jeff: Easy there you two we’re running short on time, you can pick this up after.

Matt: What do you mean? This is the last topic isn’t it?

Jeff: No you’re forgetting the World Cup. The 32nd edition has just started and Tynelia won 3-0 over Gold TyGrr.

Matt: World Cup? That’s still going on? And we sent a team?

Tom: Yes Matt, just because you don’t care about soccer doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Oh wait that’s right, they don’t use instant replay there either.

Matt: Well no wonder. Any sport that is a REAL sport has to have instant replay. Besides the team will choke like it always does.

Jeff: I don’t know Matt, the team has been getting a lot of support in the press.

Matt: Yeah right, who’s going to get them there, the twice loser coach who was a loser when he played? The 85 year old Masterson? I’m surprised he can still walk.

Tom: Well Matt, he did actually score a late garbage time goal, not too bad for your ’85 year old’.

Matt: Hah, I could score a goal in that so called sport.

Jeff: The other goals were scored by Bill Jakes and Connor MacDougal, his uncle led the team in goals last Cup.

Matt: Geesh Jeff you actually pay attention to that junk?

Jeff: That’s what they pay me to do, at least until they can come up with some new soccer show format that might actually get some ratings.

Matt: Hell, I’d turn on fifty TVs myself to watch it if it means I don’t have to be bothered with that sorry excuse for a sport.

Tom: Just because you don’t like it doesn’t make it a horrible sport, but I guess it’s a sport for more sophisticated sports fans than you Matt.

Matt: That’s it soccer momma’s boy, you’re going down!

<Matt lunges across the table and knocks Tom’s chair over as the two begin to wrestle>

Jeff: That’s it for today’s program, on our next show, thanks to this wonderful segue by Matt and Tom, we shall take a closer look at the wonderful world of wrestling. And perhaps time permitting another World Cup update. Good night everyone.

Dressing Room

SH had been proud of the last performance but knew this would be a lot tougher. The manager stood on a box to make himself heard above the noise of the crowd as he addressed his players with a simple message.

"This is where it starts lads, we have home advantage against a team we know we can beat. We will score goals but we must keep it tighter at the back, Lewish and Downing, I want you to be more defensive and aid your fall backs against the wingers. Scott, Fallen, the game will be decided by who controls the centre so fight hard. Now go out there and show everyone that Cuation is a team to be feared!"

xxxxxxxx


Cuation Is Bettia-ed!

SH will not be pleased at how Cuation lost the lead or at how Fallen had wandered off from midfield turning a 5-4-1 into a 5-3-2 or how Lewish and Downing failed to support the overworked full backs. The defence at times was a shambles but Jude pulled off some fine saves in the second half. It was a good game but not by the standards of the previous matches between these two.

It started off as the first half went on, dull as ditchwater, Bettia had a wish for revenge, Cuation knew they could win but it ended up as a midfield scrap for twenty minutes. Cuation fans were let down by Fallen who, not always up for a scrap, wandered forward to join Lu Fei up front.

Cuation got the first chance of the game and scored from it, an early Downing cross headed behind by Hartiyanto in the 23rd minute. Downing whipped the corner to the far post, James only needing to get the slightest of connection to give Cuation the lead. The home fans went nuts as they led against the team in blue.

Bettia woke up and began pushing forward despite the valiant efforts of Scott Makaie to stem the tide, Bettia brought their wingers more into the game, fully deserving their equaliser. In the 37th minute, Butcher failed to stop Kurniawan crossing to the far post where Rhydderch surprised his marker James by hitting the ball on the half volley, Jude Tanner left with no chance.

The half wound down to everyone's relief as the boredom ended, the second half proving as exciting as the first had been dulled. Bettia caught Cuation napping as Kurniawan ran straight at goal, Irwin forced to hack the winger down. Barry Scott made a mockery of the five man wall, hitting the ball so hard that it was in the net before Jude could even move. This proved to be the key moment in the match but it was far from over.

46 minutes gone and Cuation were now behind so had to push for a goal. It became end to end contest, counter attack followed by counter attack. Bettia's wingers made the lives of Butcher and Cole a misery, sub Sonny Sabitha impressing all who watched, this journalists' pick of the bunch being his curling shot after a clever turn that Jude was forced to push against the post.

Cuation created their own chances, Fallen's long range drive forcing a decent save from Sulaiman, Lu Fei getting a few headers on goal without proving too be a great threat, Lewish cutting inside but shooting wide, subs Speedy and Rual forcing last ditch tackles.

Had the score stayed the same into injury time, it would have been like a good movie but Bettia's Vaughan left Cole on the floor in the 86th minute. The cross was missed by every defender and striker, Jude colliding with Butcher as they both tried to get it away, so leaving Kurniawan with a simple winner.

Cuation Ratings:

Jude 7: Butcher 5, Cole 5, James 6, Irwin 5, Cheese 5: Downing 6, Lewish 6, Scott 7, Fallen 4: Lu Fei 5 Subs: Speedy 6(for Cheese 75th), Rual 5( for Fallen 71st)

What Now?

Two goals in the two games so far shows our attacking play is working but some more tactical discipline would be nice, it was clearly missing against Bettia. A home defeat against rivals is not a good start but there are some positives like Jude returning to form even if the defence still seems to be hung-over.

Clearly it will be a lot harder for Cuation to qualify this year but a game against Seckland is an ideal way to get back into form. Despite being away, failing to keep a clean sheet and winning by three or more will be viewed with worry by the fans.

CAFUNDEU WINS A POINT PLAYING AWAY

http://img.terra.com.br/i/2006/11/01/416004-9458-ga.jpg
Ganz Ijak commemorates the goal

After 90 minutes of a close game, Cafundéu was able to get an important point playing against The Mice of Miceland. The strong midfield of the Mice made the Monopoly’s job very difficult. But in the end, the high ability of the striker Ganz Ijak, who scored the first goal of the black and red team, and the strength of Anormal, helped Cafundéu.

Cafundéu’s next game will be against Oliverry, the group’s better ranked team. Cafundéu will have the help of the supporters, but a draw would be already welcome. The team has all the players available for the next game.

THE GAME
The game started very fast, with the mice running fast in the field and making lots of passes and dribbles, confusing Cafundéu’s defense. In the third minute, Stuart LittleMouse dribbled Becão and passed to Sickly PlagueMouse, who scored the first goal of the match. After the goal, Cafundéu started to adapt its style to face the mice.

6th minute: Priotto received the ball in the midfield and passed to Heitor, who dribbled a defender and shot, but Pinky WinslowMouse made a great save, sending the ball to a corner. Brahma took the corner and Anormal headed, but the goalkeeper saved again. 10th minute: Input ComputerMouse made a good play from the left and crossed to the area, where Charity FieldMouse headed, but Sávio Ferrari intercepted the ball.

13th minute: Kliek received the ball in the right side after a pass made by Vandick. He dribbled two defenders and shot, but the ball hit the post and went wide. 15th minute: Sightless ThirdMouse passed the ball to Piper FluteMouse, who shot from outside the area, but the ball hit the bar and left the field.

19th minute: Ray Kirs start running from the left side of the defense. Reepicheap made a mistake and let Kirs invade the area. He passed to Heitor, but the attacker made a weak shot and the goalkeeper could save easily. 21st minute: Nibbler FatMouse took a free kick, Vargas gave the rebound to Fievel ChurchMouse, but the mouse shot the ball in the face of the goalkeeper, got the rebound again, and then shot the ball sending it wide.

26th minute: After some minutes of strong dispute in the midfield, Brahma was fouled by Sightless ThirdMouse, who received the yellow card. Kliek made a wrong pass and gave the ball to Sickly PlagueMouse, who was fouled by Vandick, who received the second yellow card of the game. Charity FieldMouse shot the ball after the free kick, and Vargas had to make a difficult save.

30th minute: The game was very close and most of the time was spent in the midfield, where the teams were trying to get the ball to attack. In this minute, Ray Kirs passed to Priotto, who saw Ganz Ijak in a good position and passed to him. He invaded the area, dribbled the goalkeeper and scored the goal. After Cafundéu’s goal, the mice started to run faster, trying to make counterattacks and catch Cafundéu’s defense distracted.

33rd minute: In a fast counterattack, Piper FluteMouse passed to Fievel ChurchMouse, who shot, but the ball hit the post. 37th minute: Reepicheap created a good goal chance passing to Stuart LittleMouse, who dribbled a defender and shot, but the ball went over the bar. 40th minute: Anormal took the ball from the defender and shot from outside the area, but missed the goal.

42nd minute: Kliek took the ball from Angel BalerinaMouse, dribbled another defender and passed to Heitor inside the area. He shot, the defender hit the ball and Ganz Ijak got the rebound, but his shot was very poor and the ball went to the supporters. 44th minute: After a corner, Becão headed the ball, but it hit the bar. End of the first half.

http://img.terra.com.br/i/2006/09/26/400094-1866-ga.jpg
Coach Franz Braddock after a missed goal chance of the mice

The Mice of Miceland’s coach didn’t change the team, but Braddock made two changes: put Mercegues in Kliek’s place and put Ernesto Ijak in Priotto’s place. The second half started like the first, with fast attacks and good goal chances for both sides. The first chance was before the end of the first minute, when Input ComputerMouse shot from outside the area, but Julio Vargas made a good save.

4th minute: Anormal got the ball in the midfield and started to attack. He dribbled two defenders, knocked a third and shot. The ball hit the post and the goal fell down. The referee had to stop the game for some minutes until the goal was being repaired. After that, the game continued.

7th minute: Charity FieldMouse made a good play from the left side after receiving the ball from Nibbler FatMouse, ran in an empty space in the field and shot. Becão intercepted the ball, but Fievel ChurchMouse got the rebound. Sávio Ferrari was ready to tackle and get the ball back to Cafundéu. 11th minute: Sickly PlagueMouse took the ball form Vandick and passed to Fievel ChurchMouse, who shot and scored the second goal of the Mice of Miceland team.

Cafundéu wasn’t expecting the goal and took some minutes to recover the good performance. For six minutes the teams missed many passes and couldn’t reach the attack. 17th minute: Mercegues dribbled a midfielder and passed to Ernesto Ijak, who passed the ball inside the area to his brother Ganz Ijak, but the attacker couldn’t dominate the ball and made a bad shot, sending the ball wide.

21st minute: Mercegues fouled Stuart LittleMouse and received the yellow card. 24th minute: Charity FieldMouse shot from outside the area, but the goalkeeper Vargas got the ball easily. 28th minute: Vandick crossed the ball to Heitor, who dribbled a defender and crossed the ball again. Ganz Ijak headed, but Pinky WinslowMouse made a good save.

32nd minute: Ray Kirs created a good chance for Cafundéu passing the ball to Ernesto Ijak, who tried to dribble a defender and fell inside the area. There was no penalty and the referee ignored Ernesto. 35th minute: Nibbler FatMouse headed the ball after a corner, the ball hit the bar and after that Becão sent the ball to the attack of Cafundéu, but Heitor lost control of it and Angel BalerinaMouse got it.

39th minute: The Mice of Miceland started to defend more, wanting to keep the good result, but Cafundéu didn’t give up. Brahma made a good play in the right side of the field and crossed to Heitor, but after his shot the ball went wide. Cafundéu started to attack more and more, wanting the second goal.

41st minute: Brahma was inside the area, but passed to Anormal. The giant decided to shot from outside the area and scored a beautiful goal. 45th minute: In the last chance of the game, the Mice of Miceland’s attacker Fievel ChurchMouse tried to shot like Anormal, but the ball hit a camera located outside the playing field. After 3 minutes of injury time, the referee ended the game.

After the game, the midfielder Anormal said: “It was a good start for us, a draw playing away is always good, but only if we can win our games at home. It’s what we want and we’ll try to win the three points in the game against Oliverry”. Attacker Ganz Ijak said: “Very difficult. They are very fast and experienced. The game was close and we couldn’t reach the attack lots of times. But, in the end, we scored the second goal.” Defender Becão said: “Yes, a difficult game, but we were able to face them and play at the same level, getting this good result.”

The coach Franz Braddock said: “A draw away. It’s good, but we need to win our home games, so the next game will be very important, so I’ll release the formation: Vargas, Vandick, Kirs, Becão and Sávio Ferrari; Anormal, Priotto, Brahma and Kliek; Heitor and Ganz Ijak. Style of +2.”

http://img.terra.com.br/i/2006/09/29/402000-6557-ga.jpg
Players give autographs after the game

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Vargas, Vandick, Kirs, Becão and Sávio Ferrari; Anormal, Priotto(Ernesto Ijak), Brahma and Kliek(Mercegues); Heitor and Ganz Ijak.
Coach: Franz Braddock.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_mice_of_miceland.png THE MICE OF MICELAND: Pinky WinslowMouse, Reepicheap, Angel BalerinaMouse, Nibbler FatMouse and Sightless ThirdMouse; Input ComputerMouse, Piper FluteMouse, Stuart LittleMouse, Charity FieldMouse and Sickly PlagueMouse; Fievel ChurchMouse.

GOALS: CAFUNDÉU: Ganz Ijak 30’ , Anormal 86’.
THE MICE OF MICELAND: Sickly PlagueMouse 3’ , Fievel ChurchMouse 56’.

"Welcome once again to World Cup Sloths on SchiaSport TV, live from the King Francesco Stadium in Kingsbury. I'm Mike Jones..."

"...and I'm Filipo Schiavone."

"Tonight we see Schiavonia taking on Wentland after a build up that was nothing short of shambolic."

"But first, the highlights of the game between the fans of Schiavonia and The Islands of Qutar in and around the city of Cëre. Now, while the goals were in the car park of the Stadium, there were no pitch markings, so the ball never went out of play, and only occasionally came anywhere nearthe stadium. In the end, after five hours of play, the score wass six-five to Qutar, then some kid ran away with the ball, and that was that."

"Indeed."

"Unfortunately, Mike here sustained a few bruises during the game."

"And a broken arm."

"Oh yes, and a broken arm. But still, it was blummin' good fun!"

"Can we move on now?"

"OK."

"Well, we're facing Wentland tonight. A team who started out at the same time as us, got even more screwed over by the karelans in the Baptism of Fire than we did, then still qualified. But then they haven't done since, although not for the want of trying."

"That's the history, the systems couldn't be more different tonight, as Wentland are playing in a 5-4-1 formation, while Schiavonia will be looking to attack in their usual 4-3-3. A contrast of styles, and surely in intriguing evening ahead. You got the team sheets, Mike?"

"Yup. But on the basis that we're not on the radio and people can see the teams, there's no point reading them out."

"Fair enough. Well, the teams are on their way out, so let's get the party started!"

- - - - -

27 minutes

"Caine, drops the shoulder to send Savage the wrong way. Plays the ball inside to Blige, who somehow manages to fit between Wright and Burnside, she's going to shoot, GOAL!!! Shiela Blige puts Schiavonia ahead, and the Sloths World Cup journey is under way!"

- - - - -

87 minutes

"...and Schiavonia mount another attack with Caine. Wentland's defence has been brilliant tonight, but there's no point in defending when you're behind. Di Chula, poor control by the big man, and he loses it to Jarvis, who plays it up to Lawrence. Wentland could break here, they're three-on-two. Lawrence gives it to Newton, who runs at Ferreira. Kent has run into miles of space on the right, and if Kent finds him, he's in on goal... He does find him. One-on-one against Howard... What a powerful shot into the back of the net! Howard had no chance between his legs, and after defending for most of the ninety minutes, Wentland are level!

- - - - -

Full time

"So one-all the game finished, surely Rodney Lowe will be disapointed by the result, Fil?"

"Of course he will. It's always good to win your home games, but a draw against a good team, as Wentland are, is not a complete disaster. Ok, so our finishing today wasn't what it has been in the past, but the players will be a bit rusty after what happened in Qutar. There's a long way to go yet, and plenty of time to start getting it correct."

"Fil, what's happened to you?"

"What d'you mean?"

"You used to talk so much nonsense... now you're almost articulate."

"It just comes with experience."

"OK. Well, I guess we'll see you in Lisburn Mateys. Bye for now!"

Dan: Welcome to World Cup Chat I'm Dan Reynolds and besides me it is my partner in crime Adam Plumbtree.

Adam: Yo ho

Dan: Right

Adam: SCORES!


Group 1:

Adam: Group Liverpool England

Dan: Right

Cataduanes [3-3] Sel Appa

Dan: Nice high scoring match there, good match by Sel Appa to tie Cataduances, Sel Appa may be a suprise team for this cup.

Adam: Yeah man Sel Appa looked awful good out there today.

Okielahoma [0-3] Liverpool England

Dan, Adam: OUCH

Dan: Well at Liverpool is never a good place to play at and we obviously didnt play well.

Adam: No not at all here Harris gets a yellow card 30th minute with a violent tackle thats the only highlight all day for the Savages.

The Islands of Qutar [0-2] Az-Cz

Dan: Suprise result Adam?

Adam: No I don't really think so. Az-Cz has a pretty good squad and I think they could easily win second and if Liverpool slips up...

Dan: Don't get excited there brother.

Adam: Hey Quaker things have happened.

Dan: Haha

Anrow [1-2] Algal States

Dan: Baaa

Adam: No one really cares do they?

Dan: No not really.

Norman Hacker was impassioned in his team-talk pre-match. "The systems couldn't be more different tonight," he explained. "We'll play in a 5-4-1 formation, while Schiavonia will be looking to attack in their usual 4-3-3. A contrast of styles, and hopefully a dull evening ahead. You got the team sheets, Dave?"

"Er, no, no idea who the Sloths have picked."

"Fair enough. Doesn't matter, we'll screw them anyway."

- - - - -

27 minutes

"For God's sake, Sav, DO him!!! NOOOO!!!!

"Keefer - watch the bird!!!! NOOO!!! Get up!!!! Blakey, GET HER!!! NOT YOU, BERNIE!!! AAUGGGGHHH!!!! BLOODY HELL!!!"

"Never mind, boss...we've got an hour to go..."

- - - - -

87 minutes

"Still feeling confident, Dave? DO one, Kent!!!! Oh jeez, they're pouring forward again..."

"It's OK, boss, Jarvo's pinched it."

"Now, Lawrence...calm down!!!"

But Billy Lawrence was sick of the defensive straightjacket. Indeed Hacker did not like Lawrence's tendency to move upfield at every opportunity. They may tolerate it at Blackport, but not for Wentland. The only reason why he was kept in the team was because of his faultless work ethic.

So Lawrence darted through the flimsy Schiavonia midfield and suddenly it was three-on-two.

Kent was the better option from a skill perspective but the desperately recovering Sloth defence knew this and moved to cover. So he slipped it to Newton. The lumbering centre-forward suddenly found himself 20 yards from goal with only one defender between him and goal. And other defenders breaking from Kent. Somehow Newton made the right decision and instead of hobnailing it in the vague direction of goal he slid a pass to his left, wrong-footing the covering defenders and Cosmo Kent was right through.

One touch to set it up, one left-foot strike...straight through the goalie's legs...1-1.

"YEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!! Didn't I tell you, Davo? Didn't I bloody TELL you??!! I KNEW we'd do it!!!"

Three minutes of defence, and three minutes of injury time...and it was Wentland's best start to a World Cup campaign for, well, ever, really.

INTERNATIONAL ERROR

International Friendly Results:

Elves Security Forces - 4 - V - 0 - Fort Europe

Report by Amy Bystander, Commonwealth News.

So perhaps fielding a side of reserve players in a friendly against the world's number forty fith seeded team wasn't such a good idea, but at least it made our political allies happy and gave Fort Europe's team manager, Stuart Moss something to think about. Meanwhile however the first team were deep into their pre-tournement training ahead of last night's opening match of the NSWC. The Fort Europe team will travel to Raging Penguins tomorrow in the hope of securing their first points in the NationStates World Cup on the road. Travelling to such a distant nation is never easy on a team and they will be hoping that the expected six thousand travelling supporters will be able to make enough noise to drive their team forwards.

SQUAD RATINGS
(out of 10)

4 - Tom Reas
5 - Laura Harris (C)
5 - Shaun Pearson
4 - Mike Young
4 - Will Jones []
5 - Katherine Keller
6 - Vicky Princess
4 - Andy Fletcher
4 - Edowine Sanjuan []
4 - Del Jenkins
5 - Josephine Blanchard

SUBS

- - Ed Russell
- - Murphy Lee
- - Ryan Holmes
5 - Mia Nevola (On for Sanjuan (45))
- - Karl Isaak

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ON THE ROAD TO VICTORY

NSWC Match 1

Raging Penguins - 0 - V - 1 - Fort Europe

Report by Amy Bystander, Commonwealth News.

The Fort Europe side arrived somewhat nervous in Raging Penguins, and started the game in a simular manner. It took the players some time to settle down away from home and nearly payed the price when the ball ended up in the back of the net after just three minutes. The linesman's flag however was raised and the goal disalowed. The defence closed their lines after that and few other chances were formed by their opponants in the first half. The second half however seemed as though we were watching two very different teams, what ever Stuart Moss had said in the dressing room during the interval clearly spured his troops into action as Fort Europe dominated procedings from then on. Unlucky to score on two occasions early in the second period, star striker Michelle Bishop finally struck home on the stroke of the hour with a cracking shot from just outside the penalty area created by an inch perfect set piece from a corner which she took with acrobatic style to put the team ahead. After that Fort Europe were able to cruise through to the final whistle and an outstanding opening match ended with the clear underdogs taking all three points.

"It should be stressed that Raging Penguins went into this competition ranked forty eighth in the world, just three places below Elves Security Force, and considerably higher than our own beloved team. It was a merit worthy achievement and the lads performed superbly under such pressure." Said former Fort Europe international Adrian Xerxes who was my guest in the press box for this game. The fear now though is that the team will become over confident after such a good result against a superior team, and every match from now on will become more and more challenging, there are still a lot of good teams out there who now know what to expect from Fort Europe.
Never the less team gaffer will hold with the same formation as they host the world's number five seed Starblaydia at the Commonwealth Stadium in Stape for their second game of the tournement. Starblaydia will undoubtedly be looking to crush all in their path, however Fort Europe won't roll over easily on their home turf in front of one hundred and twenty thousand avid supporters singing and chanting at the top of their voices as usual.

PLAYER RATINGS
(Out of 10)

9 - James West
8 - Tim Forrester (C)
9 - Murphy Lee
8 - Aki Haddon
7 - Gemma Lloyd []
8 - Katherine Keller
9 - Ryan Holmes
8 - Vicky Princess
9 - Mia Nevola
10 - Michelle Bishop (60)
9 - Karl Isaak


- - Ed Russell
- - Mike Young
- - Will Jones
8 - Andy Fletcher (On for Llyod (45))
7 - Ian Sikes (On for Isaak (78))

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OTHER NEWS

A twenty four year old administrator from Fern in Fort Europe has descovered that the links added for the teams in the first post do not lead to the correct team pages, including the link to his own nation's page which brings up a random team not even in the same group. He asked when questioned by the Commonwealth's media if anyone would fix this error and if there was a reward for pointing it out.

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
Mateys stumble

Im reporting to you from outside Cathedral Park the ground of Assegai Developments as the Lisburn Mateys let themselves and their fans down with only a draw against this lower ranked team.
The match itself began well Dougherty scoring within just five minutes, but im afraid that was all the Mateys really got out of the game, as Assegai's defense and indeed the rest of the team suddenly got themselves together and the gaps for the forwards began to close.

Assegai where definalty up for the game playing a hig tempo game for most of the match, when they lost the ball they harried and niggled at the Mateys players, leaving them with little time on the ball, as a result most of the Mateys shots where very hurried and rarely troubled Edward van de Beauchamp.

Brian Livingston in the MAteys goal was also called upon through out the game with a string of tremendous saves however he was powerless to stop Samantha Neesa drive in the 78th minute.

Paul Kirk afterwards stated,"we didnt have our game heads tuned in today, the midfield where sloppy with the ball, the forwards where slow, and the wingers just didnt have any real flair or vision, its very disappointing condsidering what we have worked on in the past week".

New captain Keith Livingston, also blurted out, " I agree with what the gaffer has said, we where poor and lazy today, these are the kind of teams that we must get points against if we wish to qualify as you can bet your house on the fact that the likes of Wentland will. The boys cant really blamed for what happened tonight, as they played some of the better football than the more experienced members of the squad".

It must also be noted that although I spoke to Livingston directly after the game he didnt seem to be tired at all which is surprising considering the level football being played.

Ian Gilkinson from Magaberry in the commonwealth angrily shouted in my ear " i paid alot of money to come and see this crap, i must have been mad!!! The team where lazy today and who's fault is that i hear you ask?? I'll bloody well tell you, Paul Kirks!!
Its HIS job to motivate the players and HIS responsibility at their performance. He's been in charge of the team since its formation, mayby its time for some new blood in the management if he cant be botherd to motivate his players"


http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/assegai_developments.png Assegai Developments 1 - 1 Lisburn Mateyshttp://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/lisburn_mateys.png



Julien Dickson, Lisburn Star

The Daily Quak
Sharks Race Past Race Track

The Quakmyubush National Soccer Team got its World Cup 32 qualification under way. The team traveled to Race Track to play. The Sharks were heavily favoured as Race Track is ranked 140th compared the the Sharks 21st. Both teams came out ready to play, most players were bopping about while the national anthems were played. Finally, to the game. It was Race Track that had the first good chance, with player number 7 breaking down the wing. He got to the top of the box and let a shot go. The shot looked like it was going right for the top far corner when Cam Carroll jumped and tipped the ball over the bar. An amazing save to keep the game knotted at 0-0. Then, in the 19th minute Jon Fields did what he does best. He received a pass from Cory Sorley at the top of the box, made a spectacular move around a defender then shot the ball in the bottom left hand corner, 1-0 Quakmybush. Minutes later Matthew Graves, who came into the game for Ben Miller after he twisted his ankle, got taken down hard in the box. He was awarded a penalty, he stepped up to the ball and made no mistake, 2-0 Quakmybush. Later, in the 37th minute Fields and Sorley reversed roles, this time Fields setting up Sorley for a goal, 3-0 Quakmybush. The score was 3-0 going into half. Race Track came our firing with player number 7 getting another chance this time missing just wide. Then, in the 57th minute Jon Fields made a beautiful individual effort to make it 4-0 Quakmybush. In the 61st minute 16 year old Clifford Baker checked into the game. He made an immediate impact. In the 63rd minutes he made a run down the side and then passed the ball to a wide open Fields, 5-0 Quakmybush. The game ended that same score.

Quakmybush - 5
Fields 19' 57' 63' Graves 24' (PK) Sorley 37'
Race Track - 0

The Sharks caught a plane one hour after the game to return home. They flew into Xed City Airport which is where they will play their next game vs sixth ranked New Montreal States. We spoke with Coach/Defender Greg Hughes at the airport. "Congrats on the win, how do you think the team played?"

"I think we did a great job, Jon played amazingly as always, and the youngsters really chipped in."

"Speaking of youngsters, what did you think of Clifford Baker's performance?"

"I think he played amazingly, that pass he made on the fifth goal is a pass most veterans can't make, he will be very helpful for the future."

"A tough opponent tomorrow in Mew Montreal States. What's your take?"

"They are a very good team, we will have to play very well."

"Last question, Do you think you can beat them."

"Well, if we play out best and get a few bounces I think we can, we have the talent, its just how well we play"

That is what Greg Hughes had to say about the Race Track match and their chances versus New Montreal States. The game will be broadcast live from Xed City Stadium on QMBSN, be sure to watch.

Article By: Rick Juras

"He's late." Said Lovett, while Lucius, Wood and Carr were chatting with an FA official in another room, the team were gathered around the meeting room but Chesly hadn't arrived yet.


"It'll be another half an hour before the meeting begins. But Lysander should've been here an hour ago." Said Leon Corbet.


Then Lovett stormed out of the room, returning five minutes later with a half-full bucket of water.


"What are you doing?" Asked a frustrated Husaam Khuzaymah, as if he was talking to a five year old. Although in a way he was, with Brian Lovett being nothing more than a big kid.


Lovett grinned. "He's coming late so he gets what's coming to him."


He then half-opened the door and precariously perched the bucket on the top of the door.


"Isn't it your job as Captain to do something about this stuff?" Asked the other Brian in the team, Brian Hunter who was looking at Brett Starr.


"Are you kidding? Everyone loves a good joke." Replied Brett who couldn't help but chuckle.


"Shush, he's coming!" Hastily whispered Lovett who stepped top the side. Footsteps were heard.


-----------


Lysander Chesly walked towards the door dressed in one of his favourite suits. But he was not alone. Head Trainer Matt Wood was with him, wearing a track suit and with a coach's whistle.


"Well, I understand you slept in late then got stuck in traffic. You should've given me a spare key to your house so I could flp your mattress over." Said Matt Wood.


"I'll pass on that." Replied Lysander Chesly.


They reached the door but Chesly noticed the out of place blue bucket on the door. He paused. Matt Wood went on, pushing the door open.


Splash!


"Ha-ha! Got.. You?" Said a startled Brian Lovett who wasn't expecting the victim to be the Head Trainer who tortured them so.


"Is this some kind of joke?" Said a muffled Matt Wood who had a bucket over his head.


The whole room erupted in laughter, Wood threw the bucket off his head, he was drenched, he looked more bull than man.


"Oh dear." Said Ian Nielson.


"Run fer your life Lovett!" Yelled Callum Smithson.


An dthat Lovett did, Wood charged at him, Lovett side-stepped and fled out the door with an angry head trainer chasing after him with the mouth of a sailor.


"What a loser." Said Lysander Chesly, walking over and sitting down as far away from Al Red as possible.


Lucius Andrews and Barton Carr soon came in to the room. Lucius saw the bucket and the puddle.


"What's gone on here?" He asked inquisitively.


"Short answer. A Brian Lovett prank." Replied Brian Hunter.


"Ok, guessing that Matt Wood's the victim I don't think either will be back anytime soon, we'd best get started and give Lovett his instructions on the plane." Said Barton Carr.


"Ok, Ryane and Smithson. You need to do more teamwork. Run with each other up and down the wing, keep up the one-two's an dbolster the defence. This is critical that you team well, if you don't then our right flank might aswell just have a path straight to the goal running through it."


"It's not like we don't have one through the left wing anyway." Muttered Husaam Khuzaymah.


"Hey, I'm doing my best!" Said Vesputous who had been angry over his lack of performance in the left wing.


"Yes I can see that Gaius." Said Lucius calmly "And you will still representing New Propagandia against Noremark."


"But we may have to reconsider his position." Whispered Barton Carr in his ear to which Lucius nodded.


"Otherwise I think that things are going well the way they are. But Steele, I would like you to get more defensive."


Steele nodded.


"But now onto Noremark's tactics. Expect a very tough game, with it being at Noremark's Kanal National Stadium. And let me tell you this, it's a far cry from Victor Square. I think it even has forty-seven thousand more seats than Victor Square so the pressure may be on. But men. We can do this!


They play a very attacking style, a 3-4-3. Should we manage to get the midfield flowing I can imagine that Brett and Ian will have a field day, especially Brett who I know has grown frustrated after being marked horribly. Unfortunately I can't say the same for our defence, you won't have an easy night at all. Especially with Smithson bombing up and down the wing, so Callum and Dante remember to be ready to zip back at all times. I need you all to be on your best performances, the pressure is extreme but I believe in you.


Now, Lovett will want to be on ball dispossession duty all match, doing his best to make sure the abundance of players that will be in our half don't get the ball often. Meanwhile Red and Hayden, Red I want you to stay behind as a last line of defence while Hayden, you try to mark the three forwards and use your pace to intercept the ball from them. This match is really going to stretch all of you.


Vesputous I'm relying on you to keep Ryhers, Malsen and any others near the left wing out of danger, you'll have to rely on your ball reading skills to do this.


To win this one we'll have to either try stringing a few passes together untill a prominent shooter like Starr, Nielson, Ryane or Reyes gets a chance, use set pieces like we did with Spruitland or get them on the counter-attack where due to their poor defensive capabilities we can catch them napping. In the event of this, Steele, Reyes and Nielson are the best to pass to due to their very good pace but if none of those are avaliable, other options include Hayden, Smithson, Ryane or possibly Lovett."


That was all the tactics had for the New Propagandian team, he felt that was decent enough to prepare them for Noremark. If all else failed he had Chesly to rely on for midfield and Flint Wurst to save the attack. Those were two that could tilt the balance of the game. Not to mention the ultimate trump card in Husaam Khuzaymah.


"I'm counting on you. You've done well so far. Let's finally give New Propagandia the proud win it deserves."

The Bush Bugle
The Best Offence is, A Good Offence.

The Bushes Been Quaked Bees began their World Cup 32 qualifying run. They took on Kericia. The Bees are ranked 30 something ranks below Kercia and we're expected to lose by many. Both teams came out swinging, player number 6 of Kericia had many oppurtunities but hit the post twice and was robbed by Ivan Leonidovič Spasskij on many occasions. In the 78th minute the only goal of the match was scored. Ditmar came down the left wing and let a shot go that somehow trickled into the net to make it 1-0 Bushes Been Quaked. This was the final.

Bushes Been Quaked - 1
Ditmar 78'
Kericia - 0

This result was awful Cafundeu, a team ranked 104th in the world and had a fifth of the KPB points had managed to keep Miceland to a Draw, Despite Sickly's 3rd minute goal it took Fievel another 53 in game minutes to get a goal. The pressure was on the defense to reform, no way should have the Cafundeu scored 2 goals.

Pinky WinslowMouse got the brunt of the coaches Tirade... "Where the **** is your mind Pinky? Oh, wait you don't have one. Get yourself together or your spot on this team is seriously in trouble you have next match or else.. zoom... your out."

This exascerbated his plans for knocking his non-identical twin brother off the thrown, and the way he'd do it, was through discrediting him through football, though he can't do it if he was off the team.

In truth the Cafundeu team played really well and he did his best but there are only so many shots on goal that you could save. James StuartMouse, Pinky WinslowMouse's true name was sitting at home when there was an unexpected knock at the door.

"Who could that be?" he thought as he casually strolled to the door with the knob at the appropriate mouse height and opening the door he saw nothing, except there was a note pinned under the door mat. He picked the note up and took it inside before started reading it.

It read ... "I know of your troubles and I know a way to aide you, just train as usual you will know what to do and when. A Friend"

"Oh, great my cloak and dagger friend... Hang on... Maybe I can finally find out who he is... Now if I can only find out who was in Casari during the last Cup of Harmony I just may be able to find out who this is...."

James left Miceland manipulating the bigulation field around him so not to cause himself to get bigger. This was an ability that he had kept silent but it seemed anyone that was close enough in the Chiefline could do. Managing to stowaway on a number of ships he found himself in Casari exactly where he wanted to be.

Managinging to find the Ministry of Culture James smiled, but that was before a cat pounced out from the bushes, as his bigulated self this would not be a problem but as the size of a normal mouse this caused a great problem managing to find a drain pipe James jumped into it and started climbing up using the confined space to help support his weight.

Eventually entering the Ministry of Culture james wondered about looking for the records room, there where no secure code pads, no security cameras, no measures of security at all could have been detected, James easily snuck under the doors and managed to stay away from the less than attentive staff that where there. Eventually he found the records and shrunk them down to his mouse size.

With the original records in his paw he scuttled away and out of the ministry, being chased by a another few more cats on his way back to Miceland. Now, he still needed some more information but this one would be much harder to get... from the Miceland Office of Inter-Specie Affairs (OOC: Basically foreign Affairs)

The following is an excerpt from the Sporting Daily News

A Lesson In Ajer

Game 1
Yafor 2 4 - Seckland 0

THE ZYDRAKOS DOME, AJER, YAFOR 2 - It was a cold night in the Zydrakos Dome. The stadium itself was packed, full of thousands upon thousands upon thousands of people, filled to the brim with cheering and shouting. This was an easy escape from the political tribulations (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=506687) of the current month. It was a way to get out, to cheer on the country, to feel like you were a part of something a lot bigger, and not feel bad about it. They were looking to have a good time, and with the world like it was, a good time was precisely what they deserved.

A good time was also precisely what they recieved. The Golden Wolves were intent on showing that last qualification was simply bad luck, and that World Cup 30 was not a fluke after all. That had been their intent all along, and that was what they did. In fact, the team playing in this cup was exactly the same as the one that played in World Cup 30, all the way down to their coach, Lisa Simpson, the selfsame person (and Jeruselem football/soccer star). It was meant to be that way. This was the Golden Wolves' return to internation status. Or, at least, that was what they hoped.

The pregame festivities were outrageous. First, there came a football/soccer game between two of the top ten teams in the LIDYT, Ramen United, and Chelmar FC. The game, an exhibition game, was thrilling and powerful. The Ramen United defense thrust back attack after attack, but the Chelmar offense continued to push. Both sides lacked players who were in the national team, but they were still among the top teams in their respective areas. As halftime came, the score was nil-nil, and it looked like it would be going down to the very last seconds.

It was not to be. As the second half came out, Chelmar's star strikers began to push harder and harder. Ramen had boldly made several substitutions at the half, and that meant that Chelmar was to push harder, to make the other squad go over their limit. Despite the substitutions, Ramen's players began to visibly tire, and by the 83rd minute, it was clear that Chelmar would win. It was a minute later that the first Chelmar goal went through, and sevens minutes after that, that the second came past. And that was how it ended, 2-0, an enjoyable pre-game for all.

After the field had been primed, the first game of qualifying began - Yafor 2 vs. Seckland. It was a managable and easy game for the Golden Wolves. They were clearly the better team, as within the first six minutes, Prince Sebard had, alone, dribbled through the other team's defense and smashed a shot into the upper right-hand corner. It was a goal for the highlight reels. Sebard was in his element, showing off his trademark flair, while executing the play superbly. It was clear that the Seckland defense was not ready for such a show.

It was an excellent day for Stewart Bush, the Seckland keeper. He let in four goals, but he managed to keep out many more. By halftime, he had saved close to eleven certain goals that his defense had neglected. By halftime, the Golden Wolves had twenty-three shots on goal, and their defense had hardly been tested. Nonetheless, their lead was only 1-0. It seemed that Stewart Bush was keeping (the pun was intended) the Seckland team in the match. But how long could he keep his finger in the dam before it overflowed at last?

It would not be for long. As the second half began, it was clear that the Golden Wolves would continue their form. Thirteen minutes into the second half, Iktam Velastros delivered a textbook through ball to Idurv Odakale. Odakale made no mistake and the ball spear its way into the back of the net. Seven minutes following that, Velastros added one of his own as he shot on the rebound after a cross went far off target. Odakale got his second as he robbed the ball from Seckland defender Graham Holme, and laid it home.

All in all, it was a satifying game for the Golden Wolves, who now hope they can continue the form as the World Cup goes on.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/nomadasia.png Nomadasia -v- Bostopia http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/bostopia.png

Line-up for tonight's game away at Nomadasia.

GK - Dave Kripp
DEF - Jamie Drean, Neill Freat, Nigel Peart, Wayne Lill
MID - Victor Triff, Rob Kripp, Steven Serring, Dan Reppon
STR - Ossie Loarning, Jamie Trent

SUBS - Greg Hearn (GK) - Manfred Harrick (DLC), Gary Young (DC) - John Willis (MLC), Gary Maff (DMC), Andy Perrar (MRC) - Brandon Dingaer (SC)

It Begins With A Win
Starblaydia win. Er, great!

Starblaydia's World Cup Thirty-Two Qualifying Campaign kicked off with a simple win against Northern Caesarea, a team who came to Aquiliana, were seen by the hundred-thousand strong crowd, and were conquered in the capital city by a decent Starblaydi performance. Young holding midfielder Carlos dos Santos, 24, began to prove his worth in this number Four shirt by scoring the opening goal of the game. dos Santos appears to be a little bundle of energy and flying feet, and whenever Northern Caesarea found themselves with the ball in midfield they found him breathing down their heels, nipping at their necks and mixing metaphors like there was no 1999.

Quite.

Starblaydia's captain, Stephen Adams, returned to the fray in his first international match since the 2-0 defeat to Krytenia and also managed to bag his fifth goal for his country: in seventy-one appearances the centre-back, now 33, had scored just four times previously and he put Starblaydia 2-0 up within half an hour. Though this didn't completely kill off the threat from the Caesareans, they had no more to offer in the first half, seemingly waiting for the team-talk by their manager during the break.

Whatever their coach said to them obviously worked as they rushed out in the belief that they could turn the match around and compete with the fifth-ranked side in the world. Something seemed to work and they pulled one back against the white and purple machine five minutes into the second period of play, utilising the space left by Christian Averette as he rampaged forward. It didn't do much, however, and when Starblaydi substitute Tommas Coalville put Starblaydia back into a two-goal lead with a well-taken goal in the seventy-third minute, Caesarea were finally put to the sword.

Starblaydia triumph, and travel the Commonwealth Stadium to play Fort Europe before taking a short and not particularly well-earned break.

Final Score from Stadii Di Quercus:
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/starblaydia.png Starblaydia 3 - 1 Northern Caesarea http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/northern%20caesarea.png
(dos Santos 14, Adams 29, Coalville 73) - (#11 50)
Next Match: Fort Europe v Starblaydia


Starblaydia RPs in World Cup 32
Starblaydia Roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12044387&postcount=8)
Dawn (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11989617&postcount=3) (Pre-Cup)
Immortal Souls (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12070926&postcount=65)
Mixing Metaphors

Dear Dad,

I played in my first ever game today, it was awsome. We played Race Track, they were absolutly dreadful. I got put on in the 61st minute, at the time we were up four nothing already so coach decided to give me a try. It was amazing, just to play with the Hughes' and Jon Fields was amazing enough but then it got better. In the 63rd minute I got the ball in the corner, I saw Jon rush in from the bottom of the circle, I passed it out to him he stepped into it and let a one-timer go, and scored. I got my first assist in the second minute of my playing carrer. Tell mom I say hi, as well as Jen and Lucy.

Love, Clifford

Demot demoted

The match against Demot at the their national stadium showed the new paradigm of rejistani national team soccer quite well: "xen'ki'lehiju xi nka, xen'ki'xkora mji*" (if we will concede 2 times, we will score 4 times). This match was a textbook example of the new takilism, since the Orange-Blues did indeed score 4 times and conceded 2 times. The match was fast-paced, exiting and actually made (at least) one monk of Karela scream on the floor in horrible pain. The match started horrible and looked as if it would become a trouncing when Sarah Ysmanhad no problems in 100 to get through the leaky rejistani defense. The resulting chance was grossly misestimated by Nythui Xara and Demot took the lead in the 2nd minute. Things seemed only to become worse when the demotian attacker nearly doubled the lead, but the rejistani defender Ka~nsu Kansu blocked the scoring attemptt either heroically or luckily. The Orange-Blues went for the equalizer with early Bettian takilness, however the Demot national team showed no sign of defending the lead and so the first half of that match saw more chances and more goals than an entire season of System Karelan first league soccer. Due to a freekick of Xiaela Serena, a header of Heje Kija and a beautiful goal of Linux Aseru, the Orange-Blues were laeding 3:1.

The second half had also much takillness - the fans seemed to like the fact that neither Demot nor the Lasane wanted to give up. The rejistani defense was standing as safe as the pensions** and the fact that Xara'he only needed to fish the ball out of the net one time was a combination of Sikill and luck at about the same amounts. Fortunately, at this time, Kija'he already caused the 4the goal for the Orange-Blues, so Demot was not really back in the game. The match ended 4:2.

* Coach Asaikivelemanakere Ralaseletikivenemaratede said it not as prediction but in a different context: "A team must never give up. Never, even if they are behind much, they aleways must say: If we concede 2 times, we will score 4 times."

** OOC: reference to the German internet-meme "Die Renten sind sicher"

Enter, Stage Left

AFTER two goal-hungry friendlies, much flexing of verbal muscle, and the most convincing rhetoric to have come from a Krytenian manager since...ever, the Aces are finally ready to get underway. The squad left last night on a plane bound for the nation of Elves Security Forces, readying themselves for the first meaningful game of the campaign. All that has gone before is in a state of suspension, waiting for the whistle to blow and for Krytenia's World Cup charge to begin.

Yes, the defence may have shipped six goals in these two friendlies, but the team has scored seven in return as the side look to what is almost a Bettian sort of tempo; the best form of defence is attack. With Orange, Gygax, Duffy and Quinnell keeping goalkeepers busy, you have to say it's got the potential to work very well. Let's just hope that the back four do remember to defend sometimes...although, let's face it, defence will go out of the window in the UCS as per usual.

To the future!

[Griffis] This is Greg Griffis reporting for Channel 9, Griffwitness News, Bostopia. Our top story this evening, more information on the rioting in Fort Boston two days ago as the Bostopian National Team set out for their flight to Nomadasia for today's game. We cross live to Kayleigh Lorfale who's in Nomadasia covering the game for us, Kayleigh.

[Lorfale] Thanks Greg. For those of you who hadn't tuned in earlier, as the team coach was travelling from the Bostopia Arena through downtown Fort Boston to get to Fort Boston International, a group of protesters managed to throw mud-bombs at the windows of the coach. No players were injured thankfully, thanks to the extra security incorporated onto the coach, and the FBPD managed to arrest all of them. However, what we can add to that story is that the protesters were all from the Bostopian Arbads, protesting against measures in place in the Bostopian Arbads which they say discriminate against natives infavour of Bostopian settlers.

[Griffis] Any news on the team Kayleigh?

[Lorfale] The squad list was posted about an hour ago, Greg, but that's all about it, back to you.

[Griffis] Alright, thanks Kayleigh. Our next story tonight, the aftermath of the freak tornado in Squigg 7 days ago. We've got a live interview with Mrs.Tibbles coming up, where she talks about the mental health of her cat after the tree it was stuck in was blown twenty yards down the road. But first, over to Kyle Benning in Squigg, Port Flamerty State.

The Crimson Blade

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/stromboland.png vs. http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/assegai_developments.png

Riskbreakers Prepare for the Test of Stromboland

After a vigorous scrimmage and training session, Assegai Developments National Team manager Sir Knight Edgard Zúniga allowed his team to relax by watching the classic animated film “Pinocchio.”

“Pinocchio?” What does “Pinocchio” have to do with football?

With a big, goofy grin on his face, defender Stephen Maison explained, “Well, our next opponent is Stromboland, and during practice one of the girls mentioned that the name reminded her of Stromboli, the villainous gypsy who treated Pinocchio like a slave. So...some of us thought it’d be a great idea to watch ‘Pinocchio’ and see what we can learn from Stromboli!”

Amid a chorus of laughter, the entire squad and coaching staff stretched their legs out and relaxed before the game. Nonetheless, the team expressed that they were prepared for the challenge of Stromboland.

“By no mean are we taking Stromboland lightly,” muttered team captain Ashley Riot while lacing up his boots for a light jog after the movie. “If we were able to draw with a team of the caliber of Lisborn Mateys, Stromboland could do the same—or worse—to us. So, Stromboland better be ready because we’re coming at them full-force.”

David, Reg, and Scott leaned against the door to the empty third floor closet. They all looked a bit pale and were panting a bit, but Anti-David was safely sealed inside, unconscious.

Maybe dead. But he deserved what he got, at any rate.

However, reports from people at windows that three senior CSA officals were almost gunned down outside the stadium before tackling and beating the bloody snot out of the person wielding the firearm and dragging him inside the building quickly reached the Media Director Maria Sanders, who after a few choice swear words, set out in search of her wayward counterparts.

And upon finding them, they had a frank exchange of ideas.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Maria yelled, gesturing wildly.

"He pulled a gun on us, so we beat his ass and locked him in this closet." Scott replied calmly.

"And we put a padlock on it." Reg said, nodding.

"This is only a little bit illegal, you know." Maria said, sighing and rubbing her head. "Open the door."

"Hell no, he tried to shoot us. Let him rot." Scott replied, scowling.

"Open. The. Freaking. Door." She stated slowly, her body language making it more than clear that the floor would have more than one unconscious occupant within the next minute or so.

Shaking his head, David unlocked the lock and opened the door a crack to allow Maria to look in. "Wha... You never said you have a twin brother, David."

"I don't." David replied. Maria stared a second longer before closing the door slowly. "... where did you get that padlock?"

"We sent an intern for it. There's a hardware store somewhere around here. God only knows why, but these things always seem convienient when we need it."

"... Have him go get three more. And some guns."

"Wait, wait. There has to be some kind of reasonable explination." Reg said. "I'm sure if we sat down and thought this over, we could come up with some ideas."

Thirty minutes, a pizza delivery, a second trip to the hardware store, and an angry call to the army later, the said meeting of the minds could finally take place.

"Alright. We have David's doppelganger locked in the broom closet." Scott said. "Now, we have the obvious question of why people are trying to blow us out of the water."
"Well, there's always aliens." David said.

"That's true, but if they were aliens, why would they show up in the middle of the day and try to shoot you instead of just abducting you and probing you or something?"

"That's a good point. So I suppose it's a bit too overt for something like aliens."

"What about Starblaydia?" Maria said, spinning back and forth in her chair.

"Why would Starblaydia be trying to clone us?" Scott asked.

"I dunno. They're jerks?"

"A valid point. That could be said about any number of teams."

"Well, maybe it's a conspiracy." Maria continued.

"You think so? Were you born in Milchama?" David said, snorting.

"Thanks for that, ass."

Scott shook his head. "We have aliens and a multinational conspiracy. Is this the best we can do?"

"What about a disgruntled fan with a bizzare fixation who thought the only way the team would win again is if he ursurped control of the CSA?" Reg said.

Scott nodded approvingly. "That's not a bad theory."

"I have my moments."

After a few moments of silence, everyone let out a collective sigh.

"Why do we suck at this so badly? We used to be able to wing these off like nobody's business." Maria said, clonking her head against the table.

Reg shrugged. "Well, why not just wait until this guy wakes up again, and then we just beat him up until he tells us what he knows?"

David thought for a second and nodded approvingly. "I knew there was a reason we picked you for the job."

"And to think it could have been my coaching skills." Reg said, picking up a slice of pizza.

"What if the pizza man was working with that guy? The pizza could be poisoned or something.'

"... I hate you guys." Reg said, glaring as he began eating.

"It's only been a month and he sounds like he's been working here for years." Scott muttered.

David nodded. "No kidding. In another week he'll be trying to parachute from the roof of the stadium down to the field."

"Or he'll wrap a hockey helmet in aluminum foil and wear it every waking moment."

Maria shook her head. "Naaa, nothing that eccentric. He'll probably just wear one pair of underwear and refuse to change them until we can smell him coming because they're good luck."

"I really, really hate you guys." Reg corrected, letting out a small burp. "That's good pizza."

Elven Times
Slani Up, Slani Down

As the Marauders began the quest for qualification, they were worried that having to face the top two seeds away from the friendly confines of the ESF would set back their efforts suffeciently enough to prevent qualification. Facing the 11th and 2nd ranked squads in the world would put that fear in most squads, even those that have risen to be one of the mainstays at the proper. Yet this Marauders squad is not one of those, and they are still relatively new to the world scene, and looked to be in a supreme disadvantage.


However, this squad is showing a cohesive nature amongst them that is keeping their spirits high despite the tough draw and schedule. This bit of confidence is now doubled as the squad was able to hold its own against Slani, taking away a well earned 2 all draw. Despite the result, their is still a cause for concern, as the Marauders gave up the first two goals, before relying on the steady foot of Kyla Night in the 83rd minute and the quick thinking of Cuellar in the 89th to find Constant near the net ungaurded.

Next up is Krytenia, who for some bizzare reason traveled here for the match. When the squad showed up the day before for training, they were promptly shooed off to the airport to get back to their nation in time for today's match. The Marauders drew and lost to Krytenia four years ago, earning the draw away from home in the second leg of qualifying. They will be looking to replicate that result again, if not build on it and advance it, but Revtron has said that so long as his team comes away with a point against the Aces, the squad will have accomplished it's goals for this road trip.

Scorers
Kyla Night - 1
Justinian Constant -1

Article by Luna Santapa
Edited by Ron Santapa

"So, they're telling us that we need to be more creative with our press releases."

"Really? Why exactly is that?"

"Well, to make the cup more enjoyable for others and to enrich the whole experience for others."

"Bullshit, it's for the winning. Everyone knows that if you release more stuff from your press, than you do better at the cup! If we released some press, we might actually, you know, win something!"

"So is there something wrong with that?"

"Well, if you want any sense of what's really going on with the cup then yeah."

"But look at Casari. Those guys are absolutely nuts. But they've won a cup and their press release and damn near incomprehensible."

"They also hosted the cup that they won."

"OK good point. So what are we going to do? Give into the international peer pressure or continue covering the exciting matches that are coming in the qualification rounds! Did you see that we utterly destroyed some n00bs today? The team looked on fire, even though they were playing on a gravel pitch. We might have a chance to actually crack the top 20 after this cup! Plus, Spaam lost two points against Andossa Se Mitrin Vega!"

"But what to people care about that? The action the pitch, that's not why people watch the World Cup."

"Well what kind of view is that? It's the bloody World Cup, and we should cover what's going on in the Cup."

"Well we could compromise, we could come up with something that would allow us to talk about the World Cup and yet still diversify a little."

"Like what?"

"Your mom."

"Shut up."

"Sorry, couldn't resist."

"So what are you going to suggest?"

"I don't know, I was suggesting a compromise, not what we would actually print."

"Oh, well that was useful."

"Why thank you."

Alysa Tiana, publicity manager for Fort Europe's national team poked her head around the door of the office belonging to team manager Stuart Moss. Allowing her long brown hair to flow elegently over her left shoulder.

"I heard we're playing Starblaydia this evening... arn't they supose to be one of the best in the world?"

"That's what I'm told, number five seed for this tournement apparently."

"How does that make them special?"

"To be honest I don't know... I guess they must have done extremely well in previous tournements."

"I see, so their publicity must have been very good."

"I imagine so."

"In that case I will get to work on creating some new promotional stuff for us, I must do my part to make sure we win tonight."

"Understood... well what are you waiting for?"

"Er... well I was wondering if I could get some photo's submitted to the press of our stadium and a few of the players."

"I don't see why not, you'll need to ask the players for their permission, though those kids will do anything to be on the back page of the Commonwealth News!!!"

Alysa laughed and left the office.

MD03 RP Cutoff

MD03 Scores. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=12081882#post12081882)

Bob: Jim this is looking to be a nice opening for The Turtles.

Jim: Indeed, Bob. I am looking forward to the next matches. We started with a draw against Bazalonia, ranked 18, and now nother draw against Cataduanes, ranked 36.

Bob: Yes, many do seem surprised at the apparent good streak The Turtles are ahving against high-ranked teams. Do you think this might be "the one"?

Jim: Maybe...it is still far too early to tell. If they can get maybe two wins against other high ranked teams in addition to wins against the lower teams, there are some possibilities.

Bob: Yes and Estevez seems to be showing quite some steam with his fourth goal already.

Jim: Indeed and I certainly thought that he would have his fifth in the 80th minute. It was very close.

Bob: Sel Appa certainly played off of their previous draw with the first early goal. It was a match with a few equalizers though.

Jim: Yes, both sides definitely refused to lose. I see a good qualifiers for The Turtles.

Bob: What do you think played the msot role with Sel Appa's rise from the last qualifiers?

Jim: It's defintely the fresh blood, so to speak, and also [Coach] DuPont is using a more attack-minded strategy.

Bob: Oh yeah, they used to try to defend more but defense is useless once you are penetrated. You need to even it out by scoring a bit.

Jim: Absolutely, I think they finally understand that while an offensive focus may concede more goals, it also gains them more.

Bob: The Turtles play Tocapa tomorrow, ranked 103rd, what do you predict?

Jim: I'll put my money on a 2-1 or 2-0 win for Sel Appa. Tocapa is a fair team, but isn't likely to do that well.

Bob: Ok that wraps it up I guess. Nice talking to you again, Jim.

Jim: The pleasure is mine. See you soon.

QAZOXIAN TIMES


Great Start today for the Black Oxen as they gored The Mushroom Kingship 5-1 to open up World Cup 32 Qualifing today. This match was not even close as Qazox held a 4-0 lead at the half and cruised the rest of the match.

Stefany Heisel, who is making her National team debut, continues to impress as she scored the first two goals for Qazox in the 20th and 26th minutes. Heisel, who is the Woman's national team all-time leader in goals, also assisted on the other two goals scored in the 1st half. Kyle Horton, in his 1st start got on the board in the 39th minute on a penalty kick after being pulled down inthe area. Sonja Clay, who is also on the Women's team, scored her 1st goal in injury time with 24 yd blast that completely fooled the TMK keeper.

After such an impressive 1st half, Head Coach Reggie Hassok pulled The front 3 out and put in Denise Vinson, also of the Lady Oxen, Regina Reginald and Ty Rant, making his 1st international appearance. Ty would score just 8 minutes into the 2nd half increasing the lead to 5-0. But the 2nd half didn't completely go Qazox' way as in the 67th minute TMK's #3 scored on a penalty, when Adolf Limburger was given a yellow card for a low blow.

Overall this was one of Qazox' more impressive matches at the World Cup Level. They beat a decent young team, and rested some stars for the later matches. Up next for the Black Oxen is a match at Ariddia, which will be an early test as to just how good this team is.

Game Summary:
Goals:
Qazox: Heisel (2), 20', 26'; Horton, 39'(pk); Clay 45+'; Rant 53'
TMK: #3 67' (pk)
Cards:
Qazox: Yellow: Limburger 66'

SATIVAVILLE STONER

You want funk??? We got the funk!!!!

A tough match for the Stoners today as they used a late goal, by surprise scorer, Efrain Fuda, who was subbed in for Emil Timmermann inthe 67th minute when Emil complained of a sore hamstring. Efrain, who played sparingly in the Cup 4 years ago, managed to put his foot on a deflection and scored in the 88th minute, preventing a scoreless tie.

Sativaville now has won it 1st two matches at qualifing for the 1st time ever, and currently are tied top the group with Bazalonia. Trent Estorga has been brilliant through 2 matches by saving 11 shots and not yet allowing a goal.

Up next for the Stoners is Bedistan, one the greast teams in the world, but first we have an off day, so we have an additional 24 hours to prepare.

MATCH SUMMARY:
Goals: Efrain Fuda- 88'
Cards: NONE

Came for a Soccer and Left after a Boxing bout

Speaking of whichSlipknot and Helena have been charged by Fauxhan local police with Assault occasioning Actual Bodily Harm. The Status of these individuals and what will happen with them is yet to be determined, however a Spokesperson for the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade has stated. "We have approached and are now discussing what will happen to these 2 individuals with the appropriate department of the Green Wombat government.

An official from the Fauxhan Police has stated.. "We certainly did not expect that we would have to arrest foreign sportspeople, Even though you may play soccer you cannot use it as an excuse to beat the be-jesus out of your opponents. We would not tollerate these actions if they where Bazalonian Citizens so I don't see why we should treat these foreign players any different."


Joe Gurt looked at the papers from Bazalonia and began to laugh.

" 'You can't use soccer as an excuse to beat the be-jesus out of your opponents.' " He mimicked in a falsetto voice. "What a bunch of *&(king pansies those Bazapoles are.. Next time I want us to injure as many as we can, show them that YOU can use soccer as an excuse to kick the $#!t outta some one.

Joe then turned to the team "Way to %^%ing go out there!! Those FA&&ots from The New Hypocria had no chance!! Jester great %^&*ing job on taking out the ref and one of their players on that goal. i've never seen a ball travel that #$$^ing fast."

The Jester just looked out into space and laughed manically throwing a hand grenade off the ceiling, and catching it reapeatedly.

"And Ademle Don't know how or care how ya did it, but that keeper didn't see it coming when you snuck up on him during that corner and slit his achilles tendon. Nice goal too, escpecially the foot stomp on the hand. Alright freaks, we got a win, but up next is Nedalia, and i have it on good authority the refs there are 7' tall and 300 lbs so we gotta be sneaky in our attacks. The Wombat can take down the Lion!"

GOAls: The Jester (2) 56'; Ademle- 75'

(ooc to teams in my group.. Yes most of my posts will be something like this. They are a bunch of Psychopaths and Sociopaths, so have fun explaining injuries. I won't post injuries for ya, but i'll set them up.)

1 http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/stromboland.png ~ http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/assegai_developments.png 2

“Evening, Assegai football fans! This is Mikaela Eyre reporting live from Stromboland, where the Riskbreakers escaped with a 2-1 victory over the mysterious team from Stromboland.

“Mysterious because none of the players had names or numbers on their uniforms, making it very difficult for the Assegai players to keep track of who was who, and what was going on.

“Stromboland’s tactics worked well for them and they managed to capitalize with a goal in the 10th minute—but no one knows who scored. After the goal, Assegai brought its forwards back a bit and focused more on shoring up their defense, and the game went to the half with Stromboland ahead 1-0.

“However, in the second half, Assegai was a completely different team and came out fired up, taking six shots on goal in the first three minutes of the second half. Stromboland began to crack under the pressure, and, finally, Assegai midfielder Alys Spicer tore through the backline for a rocket shot that went past the keeper, to draw even 1-1.

“Assegai was unrelenting, and in the 68th minute, off a through-ball from team captain Ashley Riot, forward Severus Snape snaked his way through the Stromboland defense to knock home a one-timer and put Assegai up for good.

“Although Assegai kept attacking toward the end of the game, they were unable to add to their lead and the game ended with Assegai pressing for the extra goal.

“Since the players have already been ushered to their hotel, we won’t have player comments for you until tomorrow morning. For now, thank you for tuning in. This has been Mikaela Eyre, reporting live from Stromboland. Good night, Assegai!”

Oh Sh*t, Not Again

Loss to Quakmybush has shades of Cuation pt. 2

A DRUNKEN HAZE SOMEWHERE - Your correspondant is totally shitfaced right now.

Not that you, or any sentient being on the face of the earth, are in any place to criticize him for being in such a state. After watching the Paladins throw away a 3-0 lead like it was a pair of leather pants from the 1970s, every man, woman and child in blue and silver within sight is completely sloshed.

This will only get worse with the hangover tomorrow morning, so let me be brief: barring a total collapse, Quakmybush must now be considered the unsurmountable favorites to carry group...uh...group...whatever number it is. I can't quite remember now. I'm pretty sure it was a number.

But that's beside the point. What else was there? Oh yeah, us sucking. Yeah. We do, in fact, suck. Just watch footage from that match if you don't believe us. Our suckage was epic and total. We do, in fact, suck like Paris Hilton on camera. Nevermind that this metaphor was beaten to death by this paper years ago. We always say that at least once a tourney, and we'll be confuzzled if we don't say it right now.

So ha. I need another drink.

PALADINS 3 - Boethius 14, Corcoran 18, Villeneuve 35
QUAKMYBUSH 4 - Sweet mother of all that is crunchy and slightly sugary.

THE PTOLEMAIS TIMES

EMPIRE SHACKEN AS NEWS OF FIRST DEFEAT ANNOUNCED

Fans of the Alexandrian Ptolemais soccer team were shacken when news that they had gotten into the Soccer World Cup was subsequently met with a shock defeat. In their match last night Ptolemais time, the Socreds met Kericia and were pounded to a 3-zip defeat. Coach John Hartless had the following to say

"It was a very shocking defeat; in the first minute, the Kerician's managed to get past our defence and score a goal. This clearly stunned the team, and attempts to score a goal in the first half was fraught with failure. We can only hope that our next match will be much better for the Socreds"

The Socreds eventually conceeded the other two goals in the 52nd and 74th minutes. It can only be hoped that the Socreds can pull away from this defeat.

Dressing room

SH patrolled the dressing room, pondering if he should try to lift the player’s sprits or if to warn against compliancy, too many fans thought this would be a walkover.

"Lads, you played well against Bettia and didn't deserve to lose, it was just not our day. Today we come to Seckland, another performance of such attacking quality will see us through but keep it tight at the back and don't think this will be easy. Harass them off the ball, make your presence felt, run for each other and we will have the platform to build from."

xxxxxxx

0-0 and Cuation, playing in blue, are getting frustrated as another attack breaks down.

"Bush picks up the stray pass, the keeper has been excellent so far, how can he relive the pressure? A long kick up the pitch, Banks chases it but won't get it. Cheese is first to it and heads it away from the box as strongly as he can."

The drop kick had been carried by the wind to Cuation's penalty area, Cheese was quickest to it and headed it as far as possible but only as far as Newton, who had little in from thirty yards out.

"Ball falls to Newton, what will he do with it? He waits for support and then strikes it at goal! Too weak but Jude has let it slip through his hands! 1-0 to Seckland with twenty minutes left! The shot should never have gone in, the Cuation fans are in shock."

The low shot had lacked power but Jude had been out of position so had to dive full length. Despite getting both hands to the ball, he couldn't get his body behind it so when it slipped through his hands, it slipped over the line.

Cuation Leave It Late

It was a windy day, the ball often carrying further then the passer had meant so it took awhile for both sides to get used to the conditions. After that, Cuation took the game to Seckland, pinning them back by simply being the superior side.

Seckland defended brilliantly but it was due to keeper Bush that all was level at halt time. Downing's crosses were a constant threat, Seckland got desperate to clear their lines. Lu Fei met one cross at the near post but headed wide, Rual's diving header went straight down the keeper's throat and a Lewish volley was too high.

One clearance fell to Fallen outside the area, his drive turned over by Bush, Downing's corner curved on goal but fortunately for Seckland, Tom Wells was on the far post to head it away. Rual followed up, his powerful volley forcing a great reaction save from Bush.

Lewish almost scored a superb solo goal in the 40th minute, winning the ball off Tom Wells, he took on and beat Bradley Well then Holme with his dancing feet but Bush dived in and took the ball from the winger's feet. The Cuation players appealed for a penalty as Lewish went down but Bush had clearly won the ball first.

At half time, Cuation fans vented their frustration at the team who had failed to turn domination into goals. Seckland came out as a better side in the second half, Akelands keeping Downing quiet but Cuation still dominated the second half.

Cuation only created one chance for awhile, Fallen's clever through ball broke the defence, Rual sprinting clear. Normally, you put your money on Rual to score but his delicate chip over the advancing Bush hit the inside of the post and rolled back out.

Cuation's defence had been forced to sit deep all match to deal with the wind assisted Seckland clearances but had prevented any shots on Jude's goal. Even so, in the 70th minute, an individual error by the keeper put Cuation behind.

An over hit Fallen pass was picked up by Bush, the keeper yet again booting up the pitch for the strikers to forlornly chase. Cheese didn't need to leave the ground as he headed it out of the area. Newton saw there was no options on so it a hopeful effort, despite not catching it well, the ball was on target. Jude Tanner showed why some people doubted him, spilling the ball over the line, had he fallen asleep?

The manager then made his master stroke, taking off Butcher for Speedy, bringing on Keane for Cheese and switching to 4-3-3. Butcher had failed to get forward but Speedy's pace on the overlap would give Downing room with the Seckland defence having to cope with two strikers with pace to burn.

Within three minutes, Cuation equalised, Speedy's run pulling Akelands away so Downing had room to cross the ball in, the ball having pace as it went in front of the six yard box for the unmarked Lu Fei to glance past the helpless Bush.

Cuation pressed forward, Cole and Speedy getting forward at will to support the attack. A Fallen through ball, in the 80th minute, caught the defence flat, Speedy however was too wide to go for goal. Making his way to the by-line, he pulled the ball across, Bush was only able to divert it to the feet of Keane , the striker gleefully thrashed the ball into the back of the net.

Cuation sat back to defend their lead so Seckland began to dominate but could find no way beyond a stubborn back line, their hopes crushed by the 89th minute Cuation goal. Fallen's long ball was chased down by Rual , his first touch flicking the ball inside Holme, his second to hit the ball on the half volley, the ball curling in the far post from the tightest of angels.

So in the end, Cuation gets three vital points that they fully deserved but we could easily have lost this game. The defence seems to be committing individual errors and we lack a cutting edge at times, we won twice against a better team 6-0 a few years ago but don't expect to see such a score line this year.

Cuation Ratings:

Jude 4: Butcher 6, Cole 6, James 7, Irwin 7, Cheese 7: Downing 8, Lewish 6, Fallen 8: Lu Fei 7, Rual 7. Subs: Speedy 8(for Butcher, 80th) Keane 7(for Cheese, 80th)

What next?

We have a home game against Dumania, the Bof champions in only their second world cup game. Dumania managed a credible 2-0 defeat against the giants Jeruselem after having a bye on their home game, maybe the news that many Cuation fans think Cafeundeu are a better team will drive the Dumania players to even greater heights?

Cuation will have to get past a team dedicated to defence but with a lack of width, Downing and Lewish may have a fun time getting at them. Quintin Taljard saved a penalty in the Bof Final, he may be kept very busy against a Cuation team that not only must win but must win convincingly.

Dazza: Hi, I'm Dazza Dallas!
Ricky: And I'm Ricky Pointy Stick, and this is THE FOOTBALL LIFE.
Dazza: It's World Cup 32 and it's all happening here. Another exciting day at the football, for those who bothered to travel to our games.
Ricky: But JGN are committed to quality coverage of this cup. We are unique, mainly because of my co-host here.

Dazza: OK, news on the Nedalian front. The Lions bounced back from their loss to Bedistan in style.
Ricky: Poor old The Great Monty Python got smashed! The Lions mauled them SIX NIL. A warning to rivals except maybe Bedistan.
Dazza: Well, if they can keep that up - we'll be in for a good Lions campaign.
Ricky: Have to feel sorry for The Great Monty Python still

Dazza: I've even got a Lions jig for the occasion.
Ricky: Better not, might excite some people too much - people with weak hearts.
Dazza: OK Ricky, I'll do it later then. Group 10 - and no shocks including of the electrical kind.
Ricky: Things going to plan for the faves.

Dazza: My team! We played Dumania, and as expected won because well they aren't exactly ranked highly. We didn't play the best either but my man Tunk showed why he's in the team. Two beauties from long range shut down the Dumanians.
Ricky: He's a big man who has lethal shot at goal. I think he once knocked a keeper unconcious.
Dazza: Well, that was because the keeper whacked his head on the goal post after taking the ball.
Ricky: You don't look all that well Dazza.

Dazza: I don't know, not feeling the best really.
Ricky: I think you're pregnant.
Dazza: Well, I'll get one of those kits and find out.
Ricky: Dazza having kids - that's scary. And no - I'm not responsible for doing Dazza, ask her husband.

Dazza: More on the football, Bettia - keep on scoring. They beat The Gold TyGrr FOUR TWO. Well, Bettia don't like defending, it's attack for them. And it's working.
Ricky: Oh yes, another team gets hammered by Bettian attack. Not quite the Nedalian experience but just as good.
Dazza: This means us and Bettia are two top, but we scored less goals so Bettia top the group.
Ricky: We are the tenth seed who never make it past the quarterfinals.

Dazza: A game of real interest - Tynelia took on Yafor 2 and no one won. 2 ALL in the end with both teams not gaining the upper hand at all. Good for us and Bettia in the end.
Ricky: Both teams didn't have that killer blow they needed. But it's better than getting trashed.
Dazza: And Cuation won a game, beatin Seckland THREE ONE. A rebound after losing to Bettia.
Ricky: Expected result really. Good team Cuation but failed the early Bettia test.

Dazza: So, at the end of the day - the same faves get results. Nedalia show the Lions ROAR.
Ricky: Top three - Jeruselem, Bettia and Yafor 2. No, it's not the Women's World Cup either.

Dazza: YAP YAP. Some people ask how they can get their children to be motivated like me. They complain a lot of young people are motivated as they should be.
Ricky: Well and Dazza have kids - and we don't have trouble. Why? We keep things interesting! Due to teenagers short attention span, you must change things from time to time so they don't just fall into some boring routine. You have spark their attention and make them interested in something. My son Rocky plays soccer because he saw Dazza on the field and wanted to meet chicks like that - so he played soccer to get soccer chicks. Give the kids a hobby with a future, don't force them into a career they don't want.
Dazza: And he's dating my niece, the naughty boy. Can't keep his hand off me either, no self control.
Ricky: You see the kids need something to focus on, like soccer or cycling.

Dazza: That's it from Dazza. Sweet dreams.
Ricky: And good night from Mr Pointy Stick.
Dazza: And he uses it too, ask his wife.

Group 10
Dumania [0-2] Jeruselem
Bettia [4-2] The Gold TyGrr
Tynelia [2-2] Yafor 2
Seckland [1-3] Cuation

Group 5
The Great Monty Python [0-6] Nedalia

KANAL STADIUM LOSS


New Propagandia lost 3-2 to Noremark at the Kanal National Stadium. It is widely thought that the New Propagandian team caved in to the pressure. Hopefully we'll get them at home.


New Propagandia 2 Noremark 3
Dante Ryane '10 Niels Wilkinson '43, '72
Brett Starr 61' Anton Liberkine(og) '90


Noremark were in Red and Navy Blue, while New Propagandia were in their yellow with a green cross away kit for the first time. There were only around a couple of hundred New Propagandian fans there, their cheering drowned out by the Noremark fans. It was a freezing cold day, but a very good turnout crowd fueled more by the Women's World Cup being hosted by this nation.


Noremark kicked off going on the attack straight away, with New Propagandia dishing it back to them but both defences were coping with a lot of pressure.. In the fifth minute Noremark made the first chance, when Kanonen made a through ball to Ryhers who easily took it past Vesputous, at the left edge of the penalty box he passed it to Krasentor who was at the edge of the box, Red tried to intercept but got there too late. Krasentor hit it as hard as he could but it was still caught by Anton Liberkine.


Then in the seventh minute Noremark came again, Renimasje taking a freekick after Nielson was caught offside, it found it's way infront of Malsen who ran with the ball, Vesputous challenged him, and won with a sliding tacke that knocked the ball out of Malsen's path but straight into Ryhers. Ryhers took it inside the box and tried to chip it over Liberkine but Liberkine tipped it over the crossbar with his fingertips.


Stravik took the corner, crossing it into the middle of the box, there was a scramble and it met the head of Aranosk but deflected off of the leg of Hayden and came to Smithson who took it on the break, going up the wing.Solne came down the wing to challenge him, but Smithson played it to his left and Dante Ryane sped up to get the ball, dribbling it in the centre. He met Brett Starr who was being marked by Inkovik, Starr had no-where to dribble the ball with but Dante passed the ball to him, got around Solne and then received the ball back from Starr.


Ryane was at the edge of the box and struck the ball fiercely, Renimasje dove and palmed it away and with Noremark players about to catch up, Ryane ran and struck the ball which had rolled rather close to him, sending it into the top-left corner of the net. New Propagandia had scored on their first try and on the counter-attack, to the Noremark fans outrage.


Not much else happened, it was back and forth action but no-one really got a chance to score, Steele got close to the box and struck the ball but it flew over the crossbar. It was growing close to half-time and both teams looked rather solid but Lovett was preventing them stringing the passes together.


New Propagandia fans were calling for the whistle as it neared half-time, the loud crowd had gone more silent. Noremark were desperate for a goal. Salvation came when Renimasje hit the ball high as he took a goal kick, it landed infront of Wilkinson who had Lovett behind him. He turned with the ball losing his marker and skillfully nutmegged his way through Red and hit it on the volley, putting it in the back of the net.


Half-time came and went, Mr. Andrews deciding not to tinker with the team.


Almost straight away New Propagandia had a chance, as Starr and Nielson kicked off Starr passed it to Reyes and they ran forward, as Krasentor threatened Reyes he passed it to Starr who passed it to Nielson. Nielson ran straight past Inkovik and hit the ball low but it was no trouble for Renimasje.


Then in the fifty-fifth minute Noremark had a very good chance as Kanonen passed to Stravik who took the ball past Smithson and passed to Aranosk who attempted to score but his shot cannoned off Red, going back to Stravik who crossed the ball in and the ball met the head of Wilkinson but it went narrowly over the bar.


The next chance came for New Propagandia and they took it, Lovett passed the ball to Steele who ran up the wing but was stopped by Sasken who dispossessed him, suprisingly Vesputous came up the wing and took the ball of him, got closer to the box then crossed it in, Starr jumped above Inkovik and headed it it the bottom-left corner, Renimasje got a fingertip to it but it didn't stop it going in. Now it was two to one.


But something kicked in with Noremark, they started to dominate the game, attacking over and over. New Propagandian fans anxiously held their breath. Stravik went down the wing, Smithson intercepted him but the ball went to Kanonen, he shot from a tight angle and missed.


A couple of minutes later Lovett had the ball, he slowly dribbled up the pitch but Wilkinson came back and caught Lovett off-guard, he took the ball and ran towards the goal, he got to the edge of the box and managed to curve it round Red but it was caught by Liberkine.


Then in the seventy-second minute Krasentor passed a through ball to Ryhers, but Ryhers didn't have anywhere to go as Vesputous and Hayden corner him. Then he passed the ball through Hayden's legs, Malsen received it and quickly passed it to Wilkinson who struck it on the volley and put it in the back of the net for the second time. The crowd went wild and nearly deafened some with their cheers.


New Propagandia came back into it, Lovett took the ball from Kanonen and raced up the field, he passed to Reyes who flicked it on to Nielson, Nielson struck it at the goal but it came off the crossbar, Starr then had a go but sent it into the cheap seats. By the 85th minute it was looking desperate, but Lucius Andrews still refused to put a substitution on. He wanted the team to work it out themselves.


But the worked it out the wrong way as it went disastrous. Krasentor was running through the midfeild, he passed it to Wilkinson who was through on goal. Will he get a hat-trick? He chipped it but Liberkine barely saved it. Liberkine was really feeling that pressure and that was when he cracked. He ran forward, thre the ball up in the air and kicked it hard, thinking that the ball would go over Hayden who was infront of him. It didn't. The ball bounced off of Hayden's back and went straight into the back of the net.


Noremark fans laughed out loud and cheered. New Propagandian fans slumped back into their seats. What an embarresment. Better luck next time boys. Hopefully the days rest will straighten things out.


Report by Mark Aarons


------------


New Propagandia World Cup 32 Schedule


MD01: Cuation(L 0-1)
MD02: Spruitland(L 1-2)
MD03: Noremark(L 3-2)
MD04: N/A
MD05: Choobie Internation(Away)
MD06: Aurendia(Home)
MD07: Casari(Home)
MD08: Fmjphoenix(Away)
MD09: Marceau State(Away)
MD10: Spindomia(Home)
MD11: Bostopia(Home)
MD12: Spruitland(Away)
MD13: Noremark(Home)
MD14: N/A
MD15: Choobie Internation(Home)
MD16: Aurendia(Away)
MD17: Casari(Away)
MD18: Fmjphoenix(Home)
MD19: Marceau State(Home)
MD20: Spindomia(Away)

As the netting at Slimes Stadium I've seen a number of interesting matches, but today was perhaps the most dominating performance I've ever seen. Of course I was kept very busy while my opposite half got to rest for the first half of the match it was still quite an experience.

Although it wasn't the most biggest win the Gnomes have ever been involved in, which was a 7-0 thrashing over Ropa-Topia in Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, it was the biggest win on Az-cz soil.

I got busy very very quickly. The Gnomes took the opening kickoff straight down the pitch with Pizelkaxrovsky finding Kn-Dg to put the Gnomes ahead less than a minute in.

No less than four minutes later I was being jarred around again. This time Haji-Me had snuck forward and laced a bullet cross onto Kn-Dg's foot for his second.

The third goal in the 14th minute was just incredible. I thought I might rip apart with the force of it. Hubertino had gotten open and latched on beautifully getting his full strength behind and it whistling the ball in. I was definitely afraid as I saw it coming in. Thankfully nets are designed to take it but it was a forceful bunch.

This whole time my friend on the other end of the field was just sitting there. He and Gn-Lg both looked pretty bored as Anrow had not gotten into that third of the pitch and in fact had only spent 14 seconds total in the Az-cz half. The way the game was going you knew it would be only a matter of time before the Gnomes rocked my world some more, and in deed that was the case with goal four coming only 4 minutes later.

This time the goal came from above. The confused Anrow players at least figured out that Az-cz shots mostly come from the ground. Of course Az-cz players being knowledgable and observant realized what they were doing. So Pizelkaxrovsky put one up high in the box and Stanleyinho went up to get it and headed it into the corner of the net. At least headed shots don't come in with the force that rocket shots from distance do, so it wasn't quite the schock that his brother's goal was.

The fifth goal came in one of the most exciting ways that goals can come. In the 28th minute Kn-Dg was fouled in the box as he was looking to finish off his hat-trick. With the team up Four-Nil, Nerazzuri was chosen to take the PK. He faked one way and then lightly tapped the ball into the net. I barely even felt it come in but with the keeper going completely the wrong way it didn't have to be hard to come into my gaping wide mouth.

The last goal of the half came from the same place that the first one did, Pizelkaxrovsky slipping the ball to Kn-Dg. I was amazed as I didn't actually get to feel this one as it went off the cross bar and then spun around in the goal but never made contat with the net. In my three minutes after that goal that the Gnomes were still coming at me I didn't have any more work.

With the teams changing direction at the half I was looking forward to watching the other guy work. However the Gnomes decided that six goals was safe and made substitutions to allow their younger players to get some experience and also not to horribly run up the score. Pizelkaxrovsky, Ml-Dni and Kn-Dg came out and Ip-Gp, Hu-35, and Du-Tre came on for them. From there neither team had much offense and no goals were scored at either end.

On the one hand I suppose I was lucky to get to experience so much action, but it sure was relaxing hanging out with Gn-Lg. Some bonding time with the Anrow keeper would've been nice, but since he was always under pressure there was never a chance.

ONE STEP FORWARDS, FOUR STEPS BACK

NSWC Match 2

Fort Europe - 1 - V - 4 - Starblaydia

Report by Amy Bystander, Commonwealth News.

Despite a disapointing result from a defencive point of view, all will go away from this game with a positive attitude towards the ever increasing development of the Fort Europe side. Starblaydia took their time in breaking down the walls of the fortress and allowed Michelle Bishop to open the scoring late in the first half against the run of play, stunning the travelling supporters into silence with a thirty yard run that ended with the young starlette playing the ball between the legs of the Starblaydia goalkeeper before tapping it into the open net. After that Fort Europe were pushed onto the back foot and though the fought bravely they could not stop a barrage of shots as Starblaydia lay siege to James West's goal. Once the wall was broken the opposition worked their way through and the flood gates opened allowing a total of four excellent shots to strike the back of the net before the final whistle.

"West's performance was nothing less than sensational, and we are extremely grateful to have him in the team, he stopped any number of chances that would otherwise have left the score line much much worse that it was." Said head coach Ria Gaskell when interviewed after the match. Rated the fith best team in this tournement, Starblaydia now lie second on goal difference in group nine after two matches and will be blaming keeper James West and the Fort Europe defence, though the do deserve full credit for their victory at the Commonwealth Stadium and will no doubt be looking forward to when the teams meet again in Starblaydia on match day thirteen. Fort Europe remain at home this week where they will take a couple of days off with family and friends before training hard for next weeks clash against Northern Caesarea back here at the Commonwealth Stadium. Northern Caesarea hold seed 24 in the tournement but currently lie just one place and two points behind Fort Europe in group nine, something they will be expected to improve on next week.

SQUAD RATINGS
(Out of 10)

7 - James West
6 - Floe Peltsten []
6 - Tim Forrester (C)
7 - Aki Haddon
5 - Gemma Lloyd
6 - Katherine Keller []
5 - Ryan Holmes
5 - Vicky Princess
6 - Mia Nevola
7 - Michelle Bishop (41)
5 - Karl Isaak []

SUBS

- - Ed Russell
5 - Laura Harris (On for Keller (45))
- - Shaun Pearson
6 - Andy Fletcher (On for Holmes (70))
- - Chris Lessinger

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/wentland.png Wentland 1-1 Ariddia http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/ariddia.png

Worries confirmed?

Watch (http://img187.imageshack.us/img187/4724/pinafootball2nz2.jpg) constant World Cup 32 news updates on PINA ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Public_International_News_Ariddia)!

Ariddia’s narrow 2-0 victory over inexperienced Stromboland had caused some concern among supporters; a one all draw against Wentland increased it. The Rouge-et-Noirs travelled to Wentland – land of the Blue Tits and of Karelan temples for exiled Rejistanians – where they failed to defeat their second opponents of this competition.

Individually, Ariddia’s defenders – Mataitai, La, and Sho - performed well, but they appeared to have trouble coordinating their efforts at times, and would have had much to learn from Wentland’s rock-solid defence. Much of the match consisted in Rouge-et-Noirs attacks being repelled and frustrated by the opposite side, who rarely counter-attacked with any enthusiasm.

Only once Dave Rider had finally slipped the ball past keeper Crash Robinson in the sixty-first minute did Wentland make notable efforts to equalise. Xavier Xu was impressive in the Ariddian goal cage, but Billy Lawrence nonetheless made the score 1-1 in the eighty-fourth minute, and the Ariddians were left with a very disappointing draw.

“The result was a fair one,” Ariddian coach Evgheny Melenciuc stated. “We can’t say we were cheated.”

He added that the team would make great effort to improve its performance in further matches.

Elsewhere, Ropa-Topia demolished The HURD 3-0, while Backwardistan lost to the Lowland Clans with an opposite score. Recent Blind World Cup finalists The Great Monty Python was defeated by Nedalia 0-6.

<symbol of the “Tynelian Nightly Sporting News with Jeff Jefferson” looms in the background>

Jeff: The show’s nearly done but I think its been settled. So we’re in agreement here then? The Hulkster’s finger wagging at his opponent is truly the most devastating move in the history of wrestling?

Matt Simms: Of course, once the finger starts wagging there’s no way anyone else can land a shot on him. Its over from there.

Tom Thompson: You’re right about that, people used to think it was the big legdrop but people have kicked out of that. The finger wag? Not a one.

Jeff: Well with both of you actually in agreement about something I guess we better say something about the World Cup before we sign off. Tynelia drew 2-2 with Yafor 2. A goal by Jakes and MacDougal allowed the team to come away with a draw at home.

Matt: <rolls his eyes and moans> We have to cover this garbage still? Isn’t there some two year old who can do the job?

Tom: This was an important match Matt, a draw may actually hurt the team’s chances of moving on.

Matt: Puhlease. A draw? I think this so called sport has more draws than a room full of art students. How can you call something a sport if no one wins? At least in hockey you get a few fights out of the match.

Tom: Wow Matt you made an analogy. Stop the presses.

Matt: How about I stop you like I did last show?

Jeff: Sorry Matt, the producers said if you two start brawling again and start breaking the set he’s going to suspend you.

Matt: Wimps.

Tom: I think I actually heard of the team’s next opponent. Bettia’s smeared us every time out right?

Jeff: Well actually we got a draw last time we played them but yeah on the road the matches weren’t pretty.

Matt: Home, on the road, doesn’t matter, none of these matches are pretty, unless you mean pretty boring. The match highlights take up what about 15 seconds of airtime? Talk about a snoozefest.

Tom: No one is forcing you to watch you know.

Matt: Trust me I’m not. I usually have the Sweedish bikini team tryouts show on when that garbage is on the air. Besides you know how it ends. We lose just enough to not qualify then finish in the middle of the pack in the loser’s event like always. BOOOORING!

Jeff: Well we’re out of time. Tune in tomorrow for the latest update on the extreme bass fishing tournament taking place in the small town of Durnst by Lake Lynnais. And of nothing else has stepped up to fill the void, more soccer coverage.

Matt: <begging as credits roll> Please someone take over that sorry excuse for a sport, I can take it anymore!

http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k163/canuck3360/RRV%20Logo%20Shop/th_SportsnetRVWCXXXII.png
SportsnetRV Soccer Central
World Cup Edition

After two Days of Qualification Moose are in sad shape

After the Firts two days of Qualification The Moose have had it tough before but this time we had to open up against the Best two in the group the #1 and #13th ranked Teams tough sledding is still ahead as we'll have the 31rst ranked up next after that we have an easier go until Qualification DAy 10 when we face #43 Demot.

Let's take a look at the First three Matches

MD1-COLONIAL CUP Game 1 vs. #55 Marceau State
The Moose Took the Field energized and Played harder than ever as the Colonial Cup was underway Things got off with a bang as Paul Guard opened up scoring with a beatiful goal past an outstretched Cossile at the 23rd minute. Marceau Pushed hard to tie things up and at the 43rd minute had a shot by Martin Fréchette bend past Weiland ending the half tied. The Second half saw some great action and Rorysville again capitalizing on chances with goals at the 78th and 88th minutes by Adam Negeuanne and Jon Kristov The Match ended 3-1 in Favor of the Moose Who now lead the Colonial Cup 1 game to none.

MD2-World Cup Qualifing vs. #1 Squornshelous
This one was tough.As hard as the Moose Triedthey were behind the eight ball and the going was getting rougher as Squornshelous netted goals at the34th and 42nd minutes to go up 2-0 at the half.The Moose Battled back netting a goal at the 57th minute by Paul Guard.Guard's goal put it clos and it stayed that way until Squaornshelous added the insurance goal at the 79th minute puttinbg the game away for good.
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/rorysville.png-1
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/squornshelous.png-3

MD3-World Cup Qualifing @ #13 Rejistania
The Moose came out flat and fell behind quick with a goal at the 15th minute by Syku Lyku then another goal really put the Moose back a mile when Vetu Xeda netted a goal at the 42nd minute. The Moose never really stood a chance as they gave up the 3rd goal at the 49th minute when Syku Lyku broke through the defense and put the game away for good The moose tried a couple moves to ignite some fire within them but by then it was too late and they fell to 0-2 in Qualifing.
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/rorysville.png-0
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/rejistania.png-3

Up next for the Moose #31 Errinundera at National Stadium in Downtown Rorysville City,RV-Sold Out shown on SportsnetRV Nationwide and on SNM in Marceau for the French Broadcast.
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/rorysville.png v http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/errinundera.png

Rorysville WC XXXII Schedule
MD01: v #55 Marceau State(Colonial Cup) W 3-1
MD02: v #1 Squornshelous L 3-1
MD03: @ #13 Rejistania L 3-0
MD04: v #31 Errinundera
MD05: OFF Day
MD06: v #154 Paleoslavia
MD07: v #61 Haraki
MD08: @ #UR Voskadouria
MD09: v #89 Commerce Heights JSY
MD10: @ #43 Demot
MD11: @ #55 Marceau State(Colonial Cup)
MD12: @ #1 Squornshelous
MD13: v #13 Rejistania
MD14: @ #31 Errinundera
MD15: OFF Day
MD16: @ #154 Paleoslavia
MD17: @ #61 Haraki
MD18: v #UR Voskadouria
MD19: @ #89 Commerce Heights JSY
MD20: v #43 Demot
MD21: v #55 Marceau State(Colonial Cup)

Rorysville Goal Scoring Leaders for WCXXXII
P.Guard-1

CAFUNDÉU LOSES TO OLIVERRY IN A GAME FULL OF GOALS

http://img.terra.com.br/i/2006/11/23/423809-9848-ga.jpg
Couturier commemorates Oliverry's third goal

The stadium of Praça Maior was full of supporters, but they couldn’t help the team in this game. The superior strength of Oliverry decided this game, and Cafundéu lost in a game where the attackers had a better luck than the defenders. Six goals, three in the first half and three in the second. Cafundéu even started the game winning, but couldn’t hold the pressure made by the opponents.

This game was very technical, with few violence, although there were many fouls. Both teams played well, trying to score in every play. In the end, the ability was more important than the will. But Cafundéu will play the next game with the same will, against a minor team, The Deathbat Republic, but the players know that they’ll have to fight to get the victory.

THE GAME
Cafundéu started the game attacking very much, while Oliverry was searching for breaches in the Monopoly’s defense. After some minutes, it was clear that Cafundéu couldn’t invade Oliverry’s area and that they were finding good places to attack. In the fifth minute, Oliverry had the first chance with Couturier, who dribbled a defender and shot. Vargas made a very good save.

7th minute: Another attack made by the visitors. Filteau received the ball in the midfield and passed to Julianit, who dribbled a defender and shot, but Vargas made another save. 11th minute: First good chance of Cafundéu. Kliek took the ball from Tisserand and crossed to Brahma, who was well marked and had to pass to Heitor. He shot, but sent the ball over the bar. 15th minute: LaVallée took a free kick and passed to Stewart, who shot and sent the ball wide.

18th minute: After a mistake of Maxwell, Heitor got the ball and had only to beat the goalkeeper to score. He shot and scored the first goal of the game. After the goal, Cafundéu started to think that a good result was possible, but Oliverry continued with the same style of play, looking for a good chance to score. 21st minute: Gendron took the ball from Priotto, dribbled a defender and passed to Julianit inside the area. He shot, but the ball hit the post and went wide.

24th minute: Gendron got the ball again in the midfield, dribbled Sávio Ferrari and passed to Julianit, who shot and scored the goal. After that the teams seemed to find the right way to play and the game was very interesting. 26th minute: Vandick made a good play in the right side of the field and passed to Priotto, who shot but missed the goal. 29th minute: Tisserand came running from the defense and passed to Hunt. He dribbled a defender and shot, but sent the ball wide.

31st minute: Ray Kirs came from the left wing, and crossed to the area. Becão headed, Regnier intercepted, but Anormal got the rebound. L’heureux threw himself at the legs of the midfielder to get the ball back. 35th minute: Couturier took the ball from Priotto, dribbled a midfielder and passed to LaVallée, who invaded the area and was fouled by Becão. Penalty and yellow card to Becão. Julianit shot the penalty and scored easily the goal.

http://img.terra.com.br/i/2006/11/23/423808-0944-ga.jpg
Heitor against Tisserand

Losing the game, Cafundéu was still trying to use the wings to score, while Oliverry used the centre of the field. 38th minute: Brahma received the ball from Ray Kirs in the midfield, invaded the area and made a low shot. The ball passed through the area before Kliek collected it in the left side of the field. He dribbled a defender and crossed again to Ganz Ijak. He headed the ball, but L’heureux made a great save.

42nd minute: Filteau made a good play and passed to Stewart, but he was well marked by Sávio Ferrari. Then, he passed to Gendron, who shot from outside the area, but Vargas made another difficult save. 45th minute: Kliek received the ball from Vandick and tried to score shooting from outside the area. The ball hit a defender and went for a corner. Kliek took the corner, Heitor headed, the ball hit the bar and Ganz Ijak headed again, but this time he sent the ball over the bar in a poor attempt to score.

In the injury time, Oliverry had two more chances to score. The first one was with Hunt, who received the ball from Filteau and shot, but his shot was very poor and went to the supporters. He complained with the referee saying that Sávio Ferrari fouled him, but the referee showed him the yellow card. The last chance of the first half was with Stewart, he received the ball inside the area but Vandick took the ball from him.

Both coaches changed their teams for the second half. Marcil entered in Hunt’s place in the team of Oliverry, and Cafundéu’s coach Franz Braddock put Manuel Padaria in Brahma’s place. The second half started slower, with few goal chances in the first ten minutes. The only one was in the sixth minute, when Marcil crossed to the area and Regnier headed, but the goalkeeper could save easily.

After the tenth minute both teams started to attack even more. 11th minute: Anormal took the ball from LaVallée in the midfield, ran over a defender and shot with strength from outside the area. The goalkeeper made a huge mistake, but Maxwell could stop the ball before it enter in the goal. 14th minute: Kirs passed the ball to Priotto. The defensive midfielder waited a time to pass, but saw Ganz Ijak well positioned. He passed the ball and Ijak shot, but L’heureux saved.

18th minute: Couturier received the ball from Marcil and delivered the ball to Gendron. He had a great chance to score, but lost control of the ball and his shot went wide. 20th minute: Filteau was running in the right side of the field when Priotto fouled him. He received the yellow card. Couturier took the free kick and scored in an amazing set piece. Cafundéu was really finding many difficulties to break the opponent’s defense.

22nd minute: Manuel Padaria passed to Heitor, who shot in the entrance of the area, but sent the ball over the bar. 25th minute: Audet entered in Stewart’s place, as the attacker wasn’t playing very well. In the same minute, Tisserand crossed the ball to Gendron, who dribbled a defender and gave an excellent chance to Julianit, but he sent the ball over the bar. 29th minute: Heitor was fouled by Audet. Kliek took the free kick and crossed. Heitor headed and the goalkeeper was able to send it for a corner.

http://img.terra.com.br/i/2006/11/15/421161-9239-ga.jpg
Players battling for the ball

31st minute: Anormal took the corner, and when the ball was going into the area, Ganz Ijak was pushed by Maxwell. Penalty and the defender received the yellow card. Ganz Ijak kicked well the ball and scored his second goal in the championship. Wanting at least the draw, the coach Franz Braddock put Hauser in Sávio Ferrari’s place, changing the formation to a 3-5-2 style. But the style wasn’t very good, and Cafundéu couldn’t finish well the chances.

33rd minute: Regnier took the ball from Hauser, and was going to invade the area, but Manuel Padaria took the ball back. He then passed to Anormal, who ran over Filteau and tried to shot again from outside the area, but the ball went far away. 36th minute: Manuel Padaria fouled Gendron and received the yellow card. Couturier took the free kick, the ball hit the bar, Julianit got the rebound, but Becão got the ball and cleared.

40th minute: Gendron invaded the area and passed to Marcil. The midfielder found a breach in the defenses and shot, giving no chances for the goalkeeper and scoring the last goal of the game. At that time Cafundéu’s supporters lost the hopes for a draw or a victory, but they liked the good performance that the National Team was doing. Braddock made the last change, putting Ducas in Kliek’s place to rebuild the defense. Both teams were still attacking, even after scoring six goals.

43rd minute: Anormal passed to Heitor. The attacker couldn’t shoot, because Audet was marking him, but he was able to pass to Ganz Ijak. The striker slipped and lost the ball to Maxwell. But, one minute after, LaVallée slipped too, this time after dribbling Manuel Padaria. It was clear that, after an intense battle for the ball, both teams were tired and waiting for the end of the game. Then, it ended. 2x4.

After the game, Cafundéu’s midfielder Anormal said to the media: “They were so good that we couldn’t get a good result even playing very well. But if we continue playing this way, we can still get many points in this group.” Heitor also said: “Our next game is probably the easiest of all, and we can get the three points, but of course we won’t underrate them, as everything is possible, but we’re better than The Deathbat Republic.” Captain Julio Vargas said: “Everyone played very well in our team, but in their team the same happened. It was a great game, but the result wasn’t good for us.”

Coach Franz Braddock said: “We lost, but there’s lot of games to come and it’s not the end. All the players had a good game, but unfortunately we lost. We were expecting this, to tell the truth. Some games you need to know that the victory is something near impossible, and this game is one example. But the next game the situation is completely different, as the victory is a must. I hope that we can do it.”

http://img.terra.com.br/i/2006/11/23/423807-2158-ga.jpg
Ganz Ijak suffering a foul

CAFUNDÉU 2x4 OLIVERRY

Place: Praça Maior, in Cafundó do Juta.
Attendance: 98,565 people.
Referee: Joseph Artemed.
Man of The Match: Patrick Couturier(Oliverry).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Vargas, Vandick, Kirs, Becão and Sávio Ferrari(Hauser); Anormal, Priotto, Brahma(Manuel Padaria) and Kliek(Ducas); Heitor and Ganz Ijak.
Coach: Franz Braddock

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/oliverry.png OLIVERRY: L’heureux, Maxwell, Regnier and Tisserand; Filteau, Couturier and LaVallée; Gendron, Stewart(Audet), Julianit and Hunt(Marcil).
Coach: Jean-Alan Bellemort

Ratings:
10- Couturier
9- Anormal, Vargas and Julianit
8- Ganz Ijak, Gendron, Filteau, L’heureux, Heitor, LaVallée, Kliek, Priotto and Marcil
7- Kirs, Manuel Padaria and Regnier
6- Vandick, Becão, Brahma, Ducas, Maxwell, Tisserand, Audet and Hunt
5- Sávio Ferrari, Hauser and Stewart

GOALS: CAFUNDÉU: Heitor 18’ , Ganz Ijak 76’.
OLIVERRY: Julianit 24’/35’ , Couturier 65’ , Marcil 85’.


Cafundéu – Next game’s formation: Vargas, Vandick, Kirs, Becão and Ducas; Anormal, Priotto, Mercegues and Kliek; Heitor and Ganz Ijak.
Style of +2

"Blasted Krytenians, smushed us to bits they did, even though we took first blood."

"Well what do you expect Harden, they are the second best squad in the world, we're only in the forty-somethings. Surely you didn't think we were going to win that match."

"No I didn't think we were going to win Kyla, but I thought for sure we could of came away with a draw. We did last tournament, so why couldn't we this time?"

"Because, they outplayed us. We weren't ready for the challange, and we got beat. Don't get too down though, we still got to take on those freaky creatures from Turori in our next match, at least we'lle be home this time."

"Yeah, I didn't like playing them a few years ago. They scare hte bejeezus out of me to tell the truth."

"And you wonder why you're on the bench and Justinian is starting?" Kyla laugh, "You can't be scared of your oppenents Harden, you have to go straight at then. Got to attack them with everything you've got, and when they are down, go for the jugular and finish them off. That's how you become champions, and not just a good squad."

A knock at the door disturbed David's work, and he carefully put the frame, hammer, and nails on the couch, and went to see who it was.

"Hey Sarah, come on in, I was just putting up that jersey Levesque from the Az game me. Putting it right next to Zacharius from the Marauders on my "Wall of Supieror Footballers."

"Sounds cool. By the way, great goal last night, I watched the replay on World Cup Live this morning, freaking brilliant volley. A few more of those kind of goals, and you'll surpass me in the jersey sales."

"Heh, I was just lucky Samantha set me up with such a good pass. Anyways, who do we play next, that way I make sure I put the right tape in to record their match."

"Umm..." The red head quickly reached into her baggy shorts pocket, and pulled out a makeshift planner. "We play some team called Errinundera, but we have a bye this week, so we have some extra time to prepare for them. Coach says that if we nick them, that we should have a good chance of qualifying."

"Is that so? Well, if I remember the paper correctly, they the third seed, so I guess old Dogood does know a thing or two."

"Right, well, I need to go make sure Frontson hasn't drank himself silly with that crazy thing they call Mountain Dew. Later."

The Daily Quak
In True French Fashion New Montreal States Surrenders.... 4 Goals That is

The Quakmybush National Soccer Team continued its World Cup 32 Qualifying campagne. The Sharks were taking on last years runners-up and sixth ranked New Montreal States. The Quakmybush team emerged from the locker room to a screaming crowd in Xed City Stadium. It was clear that the home fans wanted a win. The match was under way, both teams were ready to play. In the 5th minute Cory Sorley had a glourious oppurtunity but just barely missed the net. Then in the 14th minute New Montreal States midfielder Boethius came down the left wing and caught Cam Carroll sleeping, the shot found its way into the far corner, 1-0 New Montreal States. After the goal you could here a pin drop in the stadium, the home crwod was dead silent. Four minutes later, things didn't get any better. Billy Corcoran made a marvoulous run and slid the ball into the far corner making it 2-0 New Montreal States. The home crowd was afraid it was going to be a blowout. Coach and defender Greg Hughes made a change to hopefull spark the lineup. He took Mike Martin off the field and put 16 year old Clifford Baker in the game. Like last game Baker made a immediate impact. Almost the exact same play as last time, he had the ball in the corner, saw Jon Fields running up into the play, he fed him the ball, Fields shot and scored. The stadium blew its lid off, they Sharks were back in it, 2-1 New Montreal States. The Sharks used this momentum to get more chance but could not capitalise, in the 27th minute Cory Sorley had a chance, but skimmed the bar. In the 35th minute André Villenueve came down the middle and let an absolute cannon go, Cam Carroll had no chance, 3-1 New Montreal States. This was the score going into half. The Sharks came flying in the second half. In the 47th minute Jon Fields made a beatiful pass to Cory Sorley who finished off the play, 3-2 New Montreal States. The stadium was going nuts, not one person was in their seat. The Sharks almost gave the game up in the 57th minute, Boethius came down the left side, made a wonderful move around Bob Hughes, took a shot, put Cam Carroll made a huge save to keep the score 3-2. The Sharks used the momentum of the save in the 60th minute, Jon Fields made a wonderful run down the side of the field and found a wide open Matthew Graves who tipped the ball into the yawning cage making the game 3-3. The game was then back and forth until the 83rd minute when Andrew Plett had some fantastic footwork, and then took the shot from the top of the box. The shot was perfectly placed, the keeper did not have a chance, 4-3 Quakmybush. The stadium erupted in cheers for the home side. In the dying minutes of the game Boethius had another wonderful chance, but once again was robbed by Cam Caroll. The game ended 4-3 Quakmybush, the people in the stand went nuts, the Sharks had just beaten the sixth ranked team in the world.

Quakmybush - 4
Fields 22' Sorley 47' Graves 60' Plett 83'
New Montreal States - 3
Boethius 14' Corcoran 18' Villeneuve 35'

After the game the Sharks caught a place to Kericia, who they will face next. We also caught up with midfielder Jon Fields. "Well, Jon, that was a good game how do you think the team played?"

"Well, we did start out very slowly put some key plays kept us in it and we came back and won."

"The media of New Montreal States described the team as "sucking as bad as Paris Hilton on camera" what do you think of this?"

*Fields laughs* "Well I'm not sure why they would say that, they are a good team who we still have to face one more time."

"Your next opponents Kericia, what do you think of them?"

"Well, they are ranked 60th, so it won't be a cakewalk, but we should still win."

"Allright, thanks Jon, have a good flight."

That is what Jon Fields had to say about the New Montreal States, as well as their next opponent. Be sure to watch the match live on QMBBC.

Goal Scorers
Jon Fields - 4
Cory Sorley - 2
Matthew Graves - 2
Andrew Plett - 1

Article by: Rick Juras

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
Mateys tanked

Another dreary, grey day out in the country at the National Stadium in Maze province of the Commonwealth.
Todays vistitors Schiavonia, ranked 14th in the world and definalty a team that should qualify no problem and have a chance of winning the actual cup altogether. Today they defianlty showed just why they have such a high rank, dominating the game from start to finish.

Mateys barely had a sniff of the ball apart from when Lvingston had to pick the it out from his own net, indeed the scoreline could have been alot worse, but Schiavonia's forwards where misfiring quite often with Shiela Blige in particular missing some fairly simple shots which should have been testing the goalkeeper, but she made up for it with a fantastic goal just after half time.

Mateys only possitive play came from Mc Canns surges down the left which lead to a freekick easily within range of K Livingston. Sadly though Livingston shot didnt go in, it was a perfectly executed free kick however Chris Howard got across his goal like lightning and spectacuarly saved the shot, clearly showing why he is considered one of the best in the world.

Growing pressure
More and more fans have begun calling for Kirks head tonight as once again the Mateys players took to the pitch not looking like they had the belief that they could win the game, something which many see is Kirks job to imprint into the players minds.

But who would be able to take over??
The most qualified candiate is Paul Newman, manager of Hillsborough Boys, who has also taken them to two Primerio Liga's in the past five years.
William Orr would also be up there, taking Lisburn Youth from a mid table team to title contenders.
Jonny Mc Jovi new manager of Lisburn Distillery is seen as too inexperienced to take control at this level and would therefore be out of the running.

There are also many forgein managers with plenty of experience at this level in the game who may also be interested.

The FA are keeping tight lipped about this story, but there will be more as it develops

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/lisburn_mateys.pngLisburn Mateys 0 - 3 Schiavonia http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/schiavonia.png

"I like Ariddia telly's graphics, boss...nice shiny flags."

"Hmm."

Norman Hacker had had the Ariddian coverage taped and was watching it for extra clues as to how to pep his team for their third match.

Yet again the defence had slipped. OK, again they had slipped the once, but that was enough. Football is a game of scoring more than the opposition, Hacker sagely remarked at the press conference after the game. It's not that difficult to stop the opposition from scoring. All you have to do is then nick one.

Hacker claimed he was waiting for the end to strike back but Rider's finish just after the hour meant that Wentland was once more chasing the game. Given the number of times the Ariddian offside trap either failed or marginally succeeded thanks to an erroneous flag it should have been easy enough to peg this back, but Lawrence - Lawrence!!! - had been the one to break it open, with a typical thrusting run from midfield and by continuing it after Newton's shot was blocked by Sho "Nipper" was in the perfect position to half-volley the equalizer.

The Swifts now had something to defend and sat back, hoping fruitlessly for a break to steal a winner. The score remained 1-1 to the whistle and both teams, exhausted, left the pitch swapping shirts. Hacker remained upbeat in the conference, as the Swifts had come away from the first two games against the top 2 seeds with 2 points. Better than hoped for. But the next game was tricky - away to the Fun Guys.

Turtles slam and jam to 2-1 victory over Tocapa

The Turtles rallied again to a 2-1 victory over Tocapa. Famed striker Estevez scored his 5th goal of the qualifiers(including friendly) in the 11th minute, showing an early start of what would be an interesting match. The Turtles played hard and strong and goalkeeper Vasily Kashchenko saved three balls. It wasn't until stoppage time of the first half that Tocapa could scrape out an equalizer.

The thought of a draw sent Lee Rehsom into attack mode at the first blow of the whistle for second half. Within just a few minutes, he managed to penetrate the Tocapa defense and lob a great shot into the upper right corner of the net setting the scoreline at 2-1. George Bedding saw his first qualifier match after he was substituted in for Alan Dubrov, who injured his thigh during the match. The remaining minutes of the match saw no further goals, but a yellow card was dealt to George Bedding for a weak foul that the crowd appeared to dispute. The scoreline rested at 2-1 with a Sel Appan victory.

The Turtles are now 1-1-0 in group and in fourth place. The next match is against Az-cz. AccuSport predicts a 3-3 draw and the National Bet Service posted a 3-2 victory for Az-cz as their prediction.

On top of the World, Well at least the group by Nev Gould

After trying to poor through a world Atlas' to try and locate the nation of Snub Nose 39, we where surprised to find out that indeed the nation was in actual fact located in Atlantian Oceania, apparently we didn't notice the 100 million or so population. I don't know if the government knew or not but the team travelling in their specially fitted out BazAir plane did not have any troubles locating the team and landed at their international airport ready to start to play.

The wounds and Injuries from the Green Wombat fiasco seemed to have healed up and the team where blaring to go. It was not long until the match started and the national played, the soccer game was on for young and old. However from the outset it was plain who was going to dominate the match. The first half had the Bazalopes contain an amazing 79% of the possetion while the Snub Nose 39 players had only 21%. However the Snub nose 39 team did impressively manage to keep the team to only 2 goals in the first half. Quite a feet with the number of shots on goal by players such as Wolfie Hobble, James Kantwell and Michael Irchov.

The second half saw similiar events however the team seamed to start to change focus from attacking and just start to play around a third goal by Benny Boy in the 61st minute was where it ended. The Sub Nose 39 team had a number of chances but just could not convert the defense provided by the Bazalopes where, in the end it was a good showing by the Bazalopes hosts but in the end they where just too good.

-----------

"Come on, we've got to go for a look around. I mean we've never been here before." Stated Andrew "The Bandit" Creek as he was trying to convince his twin, Anthony Creek to go for a walk around Snub Nose 39 before their plane left to go back to Bazalonia.

"Why not?" he responded, as they snuck past Eric Frankton, who was actually reviewing the match on TV so that in fact was fairly easy what was much harder was to escape Peter Hobble, He always seemed fairly active and didn't seem to be able to keep still, however they managed to pick a break where Hobble went to visit Benny Boy and so they raced out of the hotel and Down Town Snub Nose 39.

They didn't even know the name of the town they where in or in fact anything about the place, but it would not be long until that changed, in a way neither of them expected.

Later when the shuttle to take the Bazalonians back to the Airport was ready Andrew and Anthony where no where to be found, they where not in their rooms and in fact they had no idea where they where.

The Team minus the Creek brothers went back to Bazalonia on the flight but Eric stayed behind and Liased with the appropriate Police but after an intensive search and media campaign the boys were no where to be found.

Disappointed Eric returned back to Bazalonia where the Media kept running Creek-based stories for about a week until the story got old. Still nothing seemed to happen.. until just before the next Matchday

Rorysvill retreats, Rejistania rejoyces

Fierce force and arbitrary alliteration could not save the mighty Moose against the hoary hedgehogs in Hetkali Hetaki. I SO am not keeping this style up, screw you! -- the reporter The Lasane won in the Estadije Hetkali Hetaki with a never endangered 3:0 victory. Syku Lyku scored the 1:0 in the 15th minute when Rorysville's defense made a mistake and allowed the Hetaki-player to capitalize the chance. The match was a flurry of takil and one attack followed the next one. There were no karelans among the rjeistanis in the stadium, otherwise, the fact that the Orange-Blues did not barricade in their half and played as if there was no fixed pay but only a per-goal salary. In the 42nd minute, Vetu Xeda disgraces the rorysville defense by outplaying Devanns'he and Hinton'he and then cooly put the ball past Weiland'he. Syku Lyku had a brilliant day on his team's home ground and scored once again in the 49th minute. Despite a high amount of chances and enough attacks to burst a va'karela. no further goals were scored in this match. The Rejistani defense again was a weakness but not too much: Even though they sometimes did a rather unkarelan job, Nythui Xara was able to compensate for the slani defense.

Asaikivelemanakere Ralaseletikivenemaratede was happy with the outcome of the match. "The team did eventually play in a way, which makes Karelans really hate how they play and what results they achieve! Karela is on the way out, believe me!"

Turnin' Up The Volaré
Dakic enters Rapaii 15 club

Starblaydia improved upon their Matchday One scoreline from 3-1 to 4-1 as they demolished Fort Europe in a shooting gallery at the nation's premier stadium, the one hundred and twenty- thousand capacity Commonwealth Stadium. Though Fort Europe managed to score first when their young forward managed to keep the ball despite the attentions of Carlos dos Santos for over twenty yards, nipping past the lunge of Darijo Cravex and outrageously nutmegging 'keeper Jiino Graikalonii before putting the ball into the net with ease.

Starblaydia, who had become a little lax in their total control of the game up until that point, decided they couldn't go in at half time one-nil down to a nobody team from wherever-they-come-from, and immediately went on the attack with a great roar from their travelling supporters. Nuno Volaré was the key to this drive, grabbing Starblaydia by the scruff of the neck from his midfield berth and single-handedly dragging them back to parity with a goal before the break.

Rajko Dakic, the incredible left-winger, then joined that elite club of Starblaydi international goalscorers as he bagged his fifteenth senior goal of his career on his fifty-sixth appearance. Fifteen goals is considered the benchmark before one can be called a great Starblaydi marksman, set all the way back in World Cup 16 when Nikola "Lazer" Lazerevski - who later went on to manage Starblaydia to World Cup glory in the 25th edtion - netted his fifteenth against Kylaai in the Cup of Harmony. Since then the famous Rapaii 15 (Predator 15) Club has been inducting goalscorers upon reaching that glorious tally.

There was enough time for Volaré to make it 3-1 almost immediately after Starblaydia had finished their celebrations upon taking a 2-1 lead. With young Stracinho getting his career fifth - and Starblaydia's fourth - goal, the match as a contest was effectively ended.

As we're talking goal tallies, Starblaydia have actually scored 1,147 goals in senior internationals since the Starblaydi Football Assoication was founded nearly seventy years ago. Interesting, isn't it?

Final Score from Commonwealth Stadium:
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/fort%20europe.png Fort Europe 1 - 4 Starblaydia http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/starblaydia.png
(Bishop 41) - (Volaré 44 + 61, Dakic 58, Stracinho 72)
Next Match (Friendly): Starblaydia v Geisenfried


Starblaydia RPs in World Cup 32
Starblaydia Roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12044387&postcount=8)
Dawn (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11989617&postcount=3) (Pre-Cup)
Immortal Souls (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12070926&postcount=65)
Mixing Metaphors (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12080743&postcount=112)
Predator Rajko

"Alright. Unlock the door on three." Reg said, holding a baseball bat.

"Why do we always do things on three? Why not five? Or seven?" David asked, leaning against the door.

Everyone stood and looked at each other for a second before the other three shook their heads and sighed.

"Alright, on three." Reg said, getting into a slightly awkward hitting stance. "One, Two, Three."

At the same time, the various locks on the door were quickly unlocked and the door opened just wide enough to look through.

Reg stuck his head in the door and blinked. "Um... we might have a problem."

The door was swung even farther open and four astonished people spent a good few seconds staring into the empty closet. An intern walked up behind them and tried to look over them, blinking. "What's so interesting in there?" he asked.

"Well... Nothing, unfortunately." Scott said, sighing. The intern shrugged and went on his way, leaving the four standing there like idiots, wondering what happened.

"Someone could have let him out." Maria said, looking around suspiciously.

"So not only are they trying to replace us, but they're infiltrating the CSA?"

"Well... if there was some actual reason to take over the CSA, that would make a lot more sense. It's not like we have nuclear weapons. We barely even know what we're doing."

Reg shrugged. "What if it's some kind of mind control thing? Like... they want to control us, so that they can mind control people through soccer, or something?"

"Maybe we're just having mass hallucinations or something. There's nothing in the water, is there?" David said, sighing. "No asbestos or anything?"

"Naaa, the building is new and shiny." Maria said, thinking.

"Well... maybe we should talk to the army again. Just to be safe." David said, shrugging. "And Reg, you should probably do something like... I dunno, focus on coaching, or something."

"Naa, I got it covered." Reg said. "This is much more interesting."

"Yeah, nearly getting shot by some phantom-you is just fascinating."

"I know, and I thought the national team job would be dull."

"Aaah, Reg. Nothing's ever dull around here." Maria said, streching. "Did you even get to drive the tank yet?"

"... why do we have a tank?"

David shrugged. "Pitch maintenence."

"... That... might... make sense?" Reg said, scratching his head.

"You need to quit looking for things to make sense and just kind of drift along with the current. Or else you'll go mad."

The Aeropag Tribune—Tickets now on sale for Capitalizt SLANI–Krytenia! Buy now before they’re gone!

Sports: Capitalizts break curse, lose anyway
SONOMA CITY, BEDISTAN—Perhaps it only applies in World Cup matches. Perhaps it only applies when the Capitalizts are wearing green and gold kits. Or perhaps the Capitalizts have finally broken their curse of 0–3 losses when playing rivals Bedistan, losing 3–4 yesterday at Fillmore National Stadium in front of a sellout crowd of 144 176.

The start of the match was relatively uneventful, with the stronger midfield of the Lions dominating possession, but not converting it into chances. Bedistan finally took a 1–0 lead in the 18th minute when Capitalizts goalkeeper Kuban-Schnellfrieder slipped trying to save the shot by 강민아 (Gaŋ Min-a). Later in the first half, the Rejistanian referee Isikanil I Sihiril awarded the Capitalizts a controversial penalty kick when striker Alejandro Bolúfero went down, despite the protests by Timothy Watson that he took a dive. Włodzimirz Tokay scored on the kick, tieing the game at 1–1.

Not long after the start of the second half, Jacqueline Reed put the Lions up 2–1 on a forty-meter strike after a terrible clearance by Kuban-Schnellfrieder. Just moments later, they increased their lead to 3–1 with Brittany Santos scoring off a corner kick. Winning soon seemed impossible for the Capitalizts. However, Bolúfero gave the team hope when he pulled back a goal in the sixty-ninth minute, scoring off a well-timed cross pass by Davido Agiaro.

Despite the Lions’ best efforts to hold on to their one-goal lead, the Capitalizts struck again in the eighty-third minute when Curd Petersdorf hesitated with the ball, giving 하천근 (Ha Çūn-gīn) time to take the ball down the field the other way. 하천근 was alone with the keeper on the counter-attack, and though Elaine Morris got a hand on the ball, the effort was insufficient to keep the shot out of the goal, and the match was tied 3–3.

The score stood up until the clock reached 90:00, but the fourth official indicated 3 minutes of injury time. In the second minute of added time, Bobby Tucker put a shot just over the head of Kuban-Schnellfrieder for the win. The Capitalizts defense saw Tucker strike the ball with his hand, and pointed at him in an attempt to get the referee to disallow the goal. The keeper yelled, “It was a handball, you han'hi'len'ly mer'slani k~hojnahera!” which quickly drew a red card from Sihiril. The Capitalizts played the final minute of the match without a keeper, and, despite their efforts, were unable to add to the score.

After a disappointing away loss, the Capitalizts will travel to Thompson University Ground—which, unfortunately, will not be completed for six months—to play the HURD, who recently claimed that they will be able to defeat the world champions in the same length of time. Randall Thacker said about the match, “It doesn’t take any special effort to beat Sqournshelous. We beat them in our second international match, and even got to take home the World Cup because of it…Penalty kicks, you say? Who cares about penalty kicks? A win is a win.”

http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/worldcup/graphics/flags/COM/ Unified Capitalizt States (SLANI) 3
Tokay pen 31, A. Bolúfero 69, 하천근 (Ha Çūn-gīn) 83
http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/worldcup/graphics/flags/BDS/ Bedistan 4
강민아 (Gaŋ Min-a) 18, Reed 47, Santos 49, Tucker 90+2

Amda-Mo: Welcome to tonights show. Quite a game wasn't it Lur-Mn?

Lur-Mn: Not really. It was a brutalization. We took a half off for christsakes.

Amda-Mo: Well yes, but you'd say the team was in fine form wouldn't you?

Lur-Mn: It's hard to tell. Anrow is by far the worst squad we've ever played.

Amda-Mo: So you'd attribute most of what happened to the Anrow squad's poor play?

Lur-Mn: Well, yeah, alot of it. I mean clearly we played well but how well is entirely uncertain. I think we probably played better against Qutar, but six goals in 45 minutes kind of obscures everything.

Amda-Mo: So what conclusions can we draw from this game?

Lur-Mn: We earned three points. Anrow is a bad team. Kn-Dg can finish. Nothing much we didn't already know.

Amda-Mo: What do you think of the decision to pull back in the second half rather than run up the score.

Lur-Mn: I agree 100%. First off, if plus six goal differential isn't enough we'll be in big trouble anyways. Secondly getting experience is far more important than scoring. Plus it allowed Hmr-Pn some good confidence building at defending midfield.

Amda-Mo: What was your take on Hmr-Pn's play today?

Lur-Mn: Well he looked better. He played good defense in the second half. However again it's hard to say. We'll get a much better idea after our next match.

Amda-Mo: Speaking of our next match, it's against a strong looking Sel Appa team.

Lur-Mn: Yes, they look much better than they did last time around. Already they've drawn at Cataduanes and won at Tocapa. That's a very nice start. Not to mention the draw with Bazalonia pre-cup. And there offense has been clicking with 9 goals in those three games. So they're going to really test our defense.

Amda-Mo: So what are your thoughts?

Lur-Mn: I think we beat them in a wild one, say 4-2. I think Hmr-Pn will be exposed and I also think that Lo-Ro will be in the starting lineup by the Tocapa match.

Amda-Mo: Wow bold prediction. You have that little faith in Hmr-Pn?

Lur-Mn: It's not a lack of faith. He's just out of position. I think we need Lo-Ro in the starting line up to shore up the back of the defense.

Amda-Mo: What about moving Ml-Dni or Haji-Me forward?

Lur-Mn: That's pretty drastic. I'm sure the coaches are thinking about it, but I doubt it will happen.

Amda-Mo: Alright. For tonight's award segment my topic is: (reaches into a box) Operating Systems?!? I didn't know this show was popular in Rejistania.

Lur-Mn: Good one Amda-Mo.

Amda-Mo: Well I just don't know enough about Operating Systems to go. So I'll expand that topic to computers.

The Supercomputer award goes to Pizelkaxrovsky. I don't think that needs any explanation.

The internet porn award goes to Kn-Dg. He really got his team off...... to a fast start today.

And the dial-up modem award goes to the whole team of Anrow for being basically just a frustrating waste of time.

Amda-Mo: So that does it for now. Joining us next time after the Gnomes clash with the Turtles.

Lur-Mn: Goodnight.

ATTACK OF THE EMOTICONS!

The Bandit and Anthony had their football bags around there shoulders and a map of the capital city of the Frost-Filles Borderlands of Snub Nose 39, Stem, trying to find a map of the place. Unfortunately for them, there was none to be found.

"So what do you want to do? We've got to get back for our flight in a couple of hours?"

"Well, we need to find a way back to the airport."

"We can circle around, that'd be quicker. We know the airport is that way," The Bandit points over towards the southeast, "and it looks like there is a major road just over that way. So once we get onto that road, it should get us back to airport."

"Alright, let's get going." They started walking, taking in the sights and some pictures here and there. As they approached the major thoroughfare that led to the airport, they came upon an abnormally large hill. As they worked the way up the hill, they found a pub and figured that a quick stop for a pint wouldn't hurt them. As they opened the door, in the entryway there lay a very odd sight. A large yellow blob, with head-like features was blocking there way. Anthony raised an eyebrow.

"Umm...hello?"

The head-blob had what appeared to be a balaclava on, and suspended next to it was a loaded MP5. It squinted, glancing back and forth from The Bandit to Anthony. It let out a short squeak.

"What it'd just say?"

"I've got no idea."

The blob bounced up in the air, and turned towards the door and opened it with the gun. In the pub, there were more blobs. Blobs with brick walls next to them, blobs with sniper rifles, blobs with their tongues stuck out, all sitting around in what would be a normal looking pub if it weren't for it's ah...odd occupants. The blob with the balaclava squeaked some more, and much louder. Two blobs in a booth that were fluffling each other stopped. Every blob in the bar turned and looked at The Bandit and Anthony. A red blob at the bar bared his teeth. An arm suddenly appeared beside him and rose up and gave them the finger. The blob with the MP5 raised it in the air and fired.

The Bandit and Anthony looked at each other in panic, and then bolted out the door of the pub. The raced back down the hill. Behind them, scores of blobs poured out and bounced, rolled, levitated and raced after the two Bazalonians. They had just played a football match, had walked for about an hour, and they just couldn't run very far. A blob jumped up and knocked Anthony over. The Bandit saw and turned. Before he could say anything, a green blob blasted him some nondescript piles of biosludge, knocking him unconscious.

MD04 RP Cutoff

MD04 Scores. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=12087936#post12087936)

QAZOXIAN TIMES


Well these oxen maybe just too young. A hard fought, but futile effort agains World Cup Founders Ariddia leave the Black Oxen back in the pack, but with still 14 matches to go, anything is possible.

Ariddia jumped out to an early lead in the 13th minute when one of their forwards leapt upon a turnover by Adolf Limburger, giving the hosts all the momentum they would need. Stefany Heisel countered with a goal of her own in the 26th minute to tie the match up at 1-all, but just 6 minute later the Rouge-et-Noirs scored again, giving them a lead they would not relinquish.

The match went back and forth between these top notch offences for the next 30 minutes without either side allowing a goal, until Ryan Holmes was given a yellow card for pulling down an Ariddian attacker. On the ensuing direct kick, Ariddia made it 3-1 and the sell-out crowd at Stade National Rêvane-Sud erupted in cheers for their Rouge-et-Noirs and hisses at the Black Oxen.

A goal by Fernando Turek in the 75th minute cut the lead to 3-2, but Qazox couldn't muster enough attacks agains the great Ariddian defence, and in the 83rd minute on a counter-attack, the final goal was scored making it 4-2.

Overall this was a game that Qazox needed. A win and they would have proved to the world that they truly belonged amongst the elite, but the loss also helps as now the Black Oxen know a bit more about overcoming adversity.

The Black Oxen come back home for two games against Lisburn Mateys and Wentland, two of the better teams in this group. Hopefully after these games Qazox will be in contention for their 2nd trip to the World Cup. The Lisburn Mateys match will be at Fromburg at Chek-Via Stadium Pic: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/2a/Dsg_UF_Ben_Hill_Griffin_Stadium_Inside_West_20050507.jpg/800px-Dsg_UF_Ben_Hill_Griffin_Stadium_Inside_West_20050507.jpg
While the match against Wentland will take place at Qazian Memorial Stadium in Qazox City Pic: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/53/OMS-Inside_Top.jpg/800px-OMS-Inside_Top.jpg

Game Summary:
Goals:
Qazox: Heisel (3) 26'; Fernando Turek 75'
Ariddia: 13'; 32'; 65'; 83' (ooc: hate when i can't pick opponents scorers :( )
Cards:
Qazox: Yellow: Holmes 64'
Ariddia: Yellow: Ke Sho 86'

"WHAT the &^Ck??" Yelled Joe Gurt at the referee, when told that the match was going to be called when the players were on theway to the locker room for halftime.

"Yo might wanna watch your tone, or else i'll call a forfeit" the referee countered. "i'm calling the match, due to the fact that 10 of your players have a yellow card, especially since you have no subs. Also due to the fact that you and your team are clearly violating the rules in order to gain an advantage. So for the safety of Nedalia's players, this match is over."

Later that night in front of the referee's home...

"I'm Howard Cosel for Green Wombatian News, and in what Nedalian police are calling the most grisly crime scene they personally have ever seen. The referee in charge of today's match between Green Wombat and Nedalia has been found murdered. As have his wife, 3 children, their 2 dogs, 4 cats, 17 iguanas, 3 parakeets, and over 50 fish. The Nedalian police have not named any suspects, but considering the players on the Green Wombat team, one might wonder if one of them is a possible suspect. The only clue as to the possible killers identity was a bell, that looks like it came of a jester's cap. as we all know, our "players" are kept watch over 24 hours a day with GPS trackers that were imbedded into the back of their necks. Any player caught outside of the maximum-security hotel, where they are watched by G.W. Navy SEALS, G.W. Army Rangers and the GWIB (green wombat insvestigative bureau), is to be shot on sight. So it is this reporters belief that some crazed lunatic is trying to frame one of our players. For GWN this is Howard Cosel."


Score Summary:
Green Wombat: No Goals
Cards: Yellow: Every player except for RYAN "The Worm" WICHER the keeper.
Nedalia: 15', 25' 35' 45+'
Cards: None

(ooc to teams in my group.. Yes most of my posts will be something like this. They are a bunch of Psychopaths and Sociopaths, so have fun explaining injuries. I won't post injuries for ya, but i'll set them up.)

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/florida_oranges.png vs. http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/assegai_developments.png

Mikaela Eyre smiles at the camera.

“Evening, Assegai football fans. I am delighted to be reporting to you live from Florida Oranges, where tonight the Riskbreakers of Assegai take on the home team in another NS World Cup qualifying match.

“Although Florida Oranges is unrated and did not formally present a roster, on any given day, the worst team in the world can defeat the best, and, with this mentality in mind, Assegai manager Sir Knight Edgard Zúniga pushed his team through two rigorous practice sessions today.

“At the end of practice, assistant manager Joel Monroy surprised the players with a crate of juicy oranges. In what served as a post-practice treat and a psychological boost, the famished players didn’t waste any time and tore through the ripe oranges.

“Well, with us right now, fresh out of the shower, is midfielder Agatha Denys to give us a few thoughts about the Stromboland game and tonight’s match with Florida Oranges.”

Agatha, who is standing near Mikaela, is wearing a skin tight Assegai top, leaving very little to the imagination. Her shoulder-length brown hair, still wet, glistens in the sun.

“Hi, Mikaela, it’s a pleasure to be here,” says Agatha, brushing some of her hair behind her left ear. “What can I say about Stromboland…? Uh, weird… I mean…no numbers or names on their kits? What is that? They didn’t even have a roster sheet for us before the game. That’s just unfair to us. Still, we were glad to come out on top at the end, although they made it very difficult for us.”

Mikaela nods in agreement. “That is very true,” she says. “They sure gave you fits in that first half. Well, what can you tell us about tonight’s game, Agatha?”

Agatha stretches a bit, arcing her back a bit, accentuating certain details on the front of her shirt. “Well, we know almost nothing about this team except that they’re unrated. That, in itself, lends this game a dose of uncertainty because you never know what to expect from these teams. Nonetheless, we’ll go out there the same way we’ve gone out thus far. We expect to come out on top, hopefully with a better result that in our previous games.”

Mikaela nods again. “Well, I wish you the best,” she says. “Anything you’d like to tell the fans watching at home?”

Agatha grins. “Well, yes,” she says cooing softly. “We’re really looking forward to returning back home and playing The Mushroom Kingship pretty soon. I want to tell my boyfriend back home that I really miss him, but I’ll be home soon.” She winks.

Mikaela laughs. “Thank you very much, Agatha, it was a pleasure to talk to you.” Agatha smiles and waves.

“Well, fans, thanks again for tuning in, and don’t forget tonight’s match against Florida Oranges. Have a great night!”

PRIDE OF THE YOUNG WORLD

NSWC Match 4

Fort Europe - 1 - V - 0 - Northern Caesarea

Report by Amy Bystander, Commonwealth News.

This may not have been the most attractive game of the tournement but a clean sheet and three points will be more than welcomed by the Fort Europe faithful. Young starlet Mia Nevola put her name on the scoresheet early in the first half when she tapped in a rebounded freekick to put Fort Europe ahead but they were unable to create any further impact on Northern Caesarea's defence as the stronger team closed ranks and held out until the end. Keeper James West built upon his performances in the last two matches to hold onto the team's second clean sheet of the tournement so far while playmaker Ryan Holmes impressed his critics with a fine game in midfield. Fort Europe move up into forth spot in group nine with six points from three games providing them with a firm foundation with which to push forwards into the rest of the competition.

"We've been lucky so far, this team came here looking for an easy three points and payed for their complacency, others won't be so foolish." Said team manager Stuart Moss after the match as he tried to be realistic about their chances of success. Comments from supporters however have been far more optimistic with the majority believing their team can make it all the way to the quater finals as they did in the Baptism of Fire tournement just three months ago. The team will train hard through the week now before travelling out to Harlesburg for their next match. Harlesburg have been disapointing, conseding nine goals so far and yet are to collect a point. Based on the results so far many believe that Fort Europe are favorates to win this match. In other news, Fort Europe have approached close rivals Assegai Developments with an offer of a friendly match to be played on match day eleven at the Commonwealth Stadium in Fort Europe. Assegai who also reside in The YoungWorld have had a slow start to this competition so far but are expected to win their next match against unrated team Florida Oranges.

TEAM RATINGS
(Out of 10)

9 - James West
8 - Laura Harris
9 - Tim Forrester (C)
8 - Murphy Lee
7 - Gemma Lloyd []
8 - Will Jones
8 - Katherine Keller
10 - Ryan Holmes
9 - Mia Nevola (26) []
9 - Michelle Bishop
8 - Karl Isaak

SUBS

- - Ed Russell
8 - Floe Peltsten (On for Harris (60))
-- Mike Young
9 - Vicky Princess (On for Jones (45))
- - Chris Lessinger

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v495/SgtShezz/Football/pict9.jpg
Photo of the Commonwealth Stadium

Dear Diary,

Here we are in Rorysville. Nice place but a bit dull.

Before leaving Errinundera I tried to find out about the place by visiting their web site: it didn’t say much but it did have heaps of links to various sports pages. Not much help.

I went to the UN website. Rorysville only has “some” civil rights and “average” political rights. Not good.

Curious about their “Utopia” status I visited the website of Goongerah’s University for the Global Environment: they rated 46 out 100. It seems their environmental record lifted their score. The UGE verdict: “Nice forests, shit living.”

I have to admit to some trepidation visiting this place. It turned out to be not so bad. The place has some spectacular scenery and they worship footballers. We got the red carpet treatment.

The match at the National Stadium in Rorysville City was packed to the rafters. The supporters came across as knowledgable and relatively fair-minded, as football fans go. They certainly gave our women plenty of encouragement, if you know what I mean.

Their players have a dour approach to the game and their formations and game plan were generally predictable. Our defenders completely shut down their forwards. Not so, the other way round: otelopea (41), venu (52) and the angelic genderqueer captain rosaniel (73) all scored. It seemed like a nil-3 whitewash was about to be signed, sealed and delivered.

Full credit to the Rories, though. They caught the potoroos completely by surprise 2 minutes before injury time. Obtaining possession in the midfield all their strikers ran forward only to find themselves completely blanketed. So, what happens? Their captain, Mark Schweitzer, nips up from his midfield position and slots a most unexpected goal. The 1-3 result was probably a fair indication of the state of play.

Best afield for the potoroos was the defender phazel. I’ve got to tell you about her feet. They are mid-sized but very broad and with high insteps. In her time she suffered quite a few ankle injuries. When she walks without strapping her ankles loudly go “clunk”. You can hear her approaching from 100 metres away.

This is probably her last World Cup campaign so she is making the most of it. She rates the Rorysville men at about 62 out of 100. She’s obviously more generous than the University of the Global Environment.

Anyway, I get to paste another picture into my diary.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/phazel.jpg

phazel could have been a concert pianist but chose to be a footballer instead. She told me that male footballers are smarter and cuter than male musicians. Who am I to argue? She conceded, though, that Errinundrian men were generally better musicians than footballers. I think that was a put down. Then again, maybe not.

Next we’re back home to play Demot at New Glumbog in Rodger River. That should be a hummer.

Yours faithfully.

mckennap

Ricky: Hi, I'm Ricky Pointy Stick. And with me is horny bitch Dazza Dallas the Mum
Dazza: Ad you have guessed it, this is THE FOOTBALL LIFE
Ricky: Dazza's got some news for the people of Jeruselem.
Dazza: I'M PREGNANT! OH YEAH, WOOT!

Ricky: There you go, she's really subtle here - subtle as a nuclear bomb. Dazza's a Mum once again.
Dazza: There's a downside though, due to stupid !@#$%^&* lawyers. God I hate them. They should all go to HELL.
Ricky: According to insurance policies for female players, if you're pregnant you can't play games.
Dazza: So no Dazza on the field for the rest of this World cup 32 and any following Women's World cup.

Ricky: Actually Dazza was pregnant last world cup and didn't find out until after the cup.
Dazza: So the new Jeruselem captain is ...
Ricky: Kate Bush!
Dazza: So everyone, give Kate your support, but don't expect her to pull of miracles.

Ricky: A Dazza-less Jeruselem played today. We were only playing last-placed Seckland and well they are still last.
Dazza: Kate's team showed the Jeruselem way - but killing them SIX ONE. One big loss and well the Seckland goal difference goes down again.
Ricky: Kate Bush showed the way with Captain's game scoring some goals.
Dazza: I think there's no need to worry about the new captain at all I say. Kate with a hat trick and goals to Tunk, Alan Belmore and Big Gay Al as well.

Ricky: The other games - went to script like it should be.
Dazza: Bettia had tricky game against Tynelia but they just laughed off the problem. THREE ONE to Bettia who like Jeruselem have yet to drop points.
Ricky: Well you know Bettia have beaten Cuation and Tynelia, meaning they are in good form indeed. We have not faced those teams yet.
Dazza: Not to worry, I'm sure we have plans for those teams.

Ricky: Dumania ran into a tank - called Cuation. Cuation flattened the Dumanians FIVE ONE.
Dazza: I think Dumania are trying to outdo Seckland and well nearly succeeding the bad defense stakes.
Ricky: There seems to be four good teams and four not-so-good teams emerging here.
Dazza: So far the lower teams aren't getting any draws either.

Ricky: And the chickies from Dorian and Sonya, could not outplay Yafor 2. They lost THREE ONE to round off the faves day.
Dazza: The girls from Dorian and Sonya are not having a good cup. They need a few tips maybe from veterans like me.
Ricky: Not good for the girls but Yafor 2 are rolling on well.
Dazza: So they should. Winners of Q-CUP beating well, us - or the Jerusalem United Schools team to be more precise. Speaking of girlies, Big Gay Al seems to like you.

Ricky: Oh him ...
Dazza: He's a nice guy.
Ricky: I know but you know ...
Dazza: He' a girl at heart. Don't be so fussy.

Ricky: Back to the football, the Lions ROARED again.
Dazza: Hell yeah, six goals last game and four more today. Nedalia trashed Tour de Qazox winner Green Wombat FOUR NIL. Nedalia might not have a cycling team but it knows about football indeed.
Ricky; Green Wombat have learnt a lesson today.
Dazza: Lions are bad for your health

Ricky: YAP YAP - we all know Dazza's going to have more kids and Kate Bush is new captain already.
Dazza: But people don't know much about Kate Bush - the football player, not the singer.
Ricky: So next game, we are going to talk to Kate.
Dazza: Don't miss it - two captains and pointy stick.

Ricky: And Dazza like her pointy sticks too. Too much
Dazza: so true, anyway. I'm Mum again, a soccer Mum as they say.
Ricky: That's it from Ricky and Mumsy here.
Dazza: Next episode we interview Kate Bush, the new Jeruselem captain. Don't miss it.


Group 10:
Cuation [5-1] Dumania
Yafor 2 [3-1] Dorian and Sonya
Bettia [3-1] Tynelia
Jeruselem [6-1] Seckland

Group 5:
Nedalia [4-0] Green Wombat

"Come on guys. We need to beat Choobie International. Everyone else has beaten them, New Propagandia and Choobie International are the two teams without a win and here is the best place to start. We can't mess up again."


They were waiting at New El Dorado Airport to fly to Choobie International, Andrews, Carr, Chesly and Khuzaymah were sat on the four seats avaliable, the rest were sat on their suitcases.


"I still can't believe how I fluked up against Noremark." Said Anton Liberkine who had been in shock since the last game finished.


"Don't let it knock your confidence" Said Lucius Andrews "We all botch it up at least once."


"At least I finally had a decent game." Said Gaius Vesputous who's confidence had gone up.


"I can see where we lost the game though" Said Lucius Andrews "I should've made a substitution to bring some fresh legs on, we got tired and under pressure but I wanted to see you guys play it to the end."


"Still.. We played well and narrowly lost as usual. For an unranked team we aren't doing too bad." Said Brett Starr who had his arms folded.


"But to be labeled good we should get a win." Said a smiling Brian Lovett. He was sat next to Lysander Chesly and had kept following him around since he failed his prank on him.


"So" Began Barton Carr "What do we know about Choobie International?"


"Nothing really." Replied Callum Smithson.


"Except that they've played two games and lost both" Said Matt Wood "Two to one and uncannily three to two."


"That's strangely similiar to us." Said Santo Cainos.


"So are you going to change anything on the team Lucius?" Asked Gary Steele.


Lucius Andrews shook his head "Not likely."


"Good because what you saw of me against Noremark was just the beginning." Said Vesputous before he cracked his knuckles.


"That can go for me too." Said Dante Ryane who was hoping to cut through Choobie International's defense like butter.


"Private Plane 128 now boarding."


"That's us." Said Flint Wurst who got up and grabbed his suitcase to take on the plane with him.


"Remember guys. Don't botch it up this time." Said Lucius Andrews.

Being a national flag is an interesting thing. One never really knows where they'll show up. Now seeing as I'm a giant banner sized version of the Az-cz national flag the number is significantly cut down. When you're made my size, basically you're going to be attached to a big pole and waved around at a sporting event.

And indeed that was the honor I recieved. But first I had to get stuck in a big box and spend a number of hours on a plane, for you see I was going to be used by Az-cz fans at an away match in Sel Appa.

After the fans had retrieved me and the waiting around period had finished I was brought to the match. When I got there I was suprised at the presence of Az-cz fans. Although we were still outnumbered it wasn't by that much. There were many other flags for Az-cz and I was far from alone. I've seen games where the visiting flag was a singleton, but Az-cz fans never let that happen.

The busiest time for a banner flag is of course right before the game. The idea is to get your fans totally riled up to cheer their brains out. With how passionate Az-czzers are about sports this isn't difficult to do.

After getting them riled it up with the banners and music and what not it was the players turn to respond. They clearly didn't seem alarmed by Sel Appa, even though the Turtles had been playing better. This was almost the exact squad that swept the turtles on their way to the world cup proper and quickly took control of this match.

The first goal was suprisingly set up by a brilliant take away by Hmr-Pn. He dispossed the Sel Appa player and swung the ball up to Stanleyinho who blasted the ball in. And I was back in the air being swung around to celebrate the Gnomes goal.

Neither me nor the person waving me had much time to rest after that as less than two minutes later Kn-Dg blasted me into the goal to give the Gnomes a two goal cushion.

A bit of time went by before I was back in the air. This time it was Levesque knocking me into the netting that sent me flying.

After that was the one time my Sel Appan counterpart got into the action, with the Turtles pulling one back.

However the Gnomes almost immediately earned a free kick after that which Pizelkaxrovsky earned a free kick to put the Gnomes up 4-1.

Nothing much happened between then and halftime so me and my holder got a deserved rest. I don't like to admit it, but I'm heavy. I may be fairly thin but I've got some girth. So me and my holder both benefit from a break.

Hmr-Pn finally got himself into the action near the start of the second half and got myself back into the action. However the coaches then proved they could out turtle the turtles by playing defensive football and keeping the game even.

After the game the Gnomes fans took a long to time to get out of their seats. There was dancing and yelling and general celebration of which I was a big part of. I don't know when I'll next get to come out and watch a game, but I hope it's soon. And I hope my Gnomes do as good of a job as they did today.

Dressing Room

SH looked at the rather grim faces of the team, listening to the somewhat insulting chants from the homes fans as the noise drifted into the dressing room.

"We only got going when a goal down, we can not afford to do that again. I want overlaps from the full backs, I want movement from the front, I want Lewish to run inside as well as out, I want Fallen to play for the team. Crush Dumania and Jude, I have faith in you. Now get out there and show the world why we are better then Tynelia."

xxxxxxxxx

Cuation Knock Dumania For 5.


Dumania came to defend but a lack of width hampered their attempts, Neil Pretorius's game plan unravelled at amazing speed. 4-0 up by half time, it was too Cuation's shame that they failed to double that in the second, with Cuation fans chanting the name of Cafeundeu to unsettle the away side.

Cuation's play was dominant in the first half, the three away strikers could not get a sniff and the midfield was pulled all over the place as Cuation seemed to play 3-3-4 at times. Cuation was close to their imperious best in the first half and the manager will have been delighted.

Dumania lost the ball from kick off and in the first minute, Cuation had taken a lead they would never look like losing. James hit a long ball that Pieter Janse van Vuuren failed to clear, dallying on the ball until Rual robbed him. The striker still has some pace and was never going to be caught, sliding the ball home between the legs of Quintin Taljard.

Quintin Taljard did himself proud, making some good saves during the match and for the next ten minutes, he kept Cuation at bay with a string of superb saves. The pick of the bunch was a double save when Cole's early cross was headed towards goal by Lu Fei but Taljard pushed it away before pushing Fallen's effort, from the rebound, over the bar.

Just as the defence seemed to be getting too grips with the Cuation attack, Cuation scored. Butcher hit a cross on the overlap towards the far post Quintin Taljard suffering a rush of blood, coming for it and failing to get to it, leaving Lu Fei with an open goal. The header put Cuation 2-0 ahead with twenty minutes gone but Quintin Taljard will learn from this.

Cuation was not in any mood to ease up as they pressed for a third, Dumania defending well to prevent it till the 30th minute. Cuation passed the ball from the back, the players movement was perfect as the ball went from Irwin-Cheese-James-Fallen-Cole-Butcher-Downing-Lu Fei-Lewish before finally Lewish laid the ball for Fallen to curl into the top corner from outside the area.

Cuation relaxed, looking to play it safe till halt time so it was a surprised when they scored in first half injury time. A long ball from Cheese was knocked down perfectly by Lu Fei for Lewish to hammer home from 20 yards, the ball whistling into the net before the unfortunate Taljard could move.

At half time, SH chose to rest some players for the next matches. Terry replaces Captain Irwin, Speedy replaced Butcher and rivals Rual and Keane replaced each other. This disrupted Cuation somewhat in the second half with Speedy unbalancing the left while Keane lacked the movement of Rual.

Dumania took advantage of that to force Cuation away from their goal in the second half but Jude's goal was not threatened. Dumania will kick themselves for conceding a 5th out of nowhere in the 70th minute. Fania Ferrera played himself in trouble with a poor first touch, even so Lewish's cross should easily have been cleared by any of the three defenders in the area. They left it for each other while Speedy made a late run to control the ball at the far post then send it across Quintin Taljard's diving body.

In the last five minutes, Dumania staged a mini revival, Johan de Beer's long range effort forced a save from Jude, Terence Scott headed wide a River Phoenix cross before they scored in injury time. River Phoenix crossed into the box, Terence Scott, who seemed miles offside, headed the ball back across for Wayne Smit to slid in a consolation. The Cuation fans rained missiles down on the match officials for a shocking decision, the goal was deserved for the last five minutes.

Cuation Ratings

Jude 7: Butcher 7, Cole 7, James 7, Irwin 7, Cheese 7: Downing 7, Lewish 8, Fallen 9: Lu Fei 7, Rual 8. Subs: Terry 7 (Irwin, h-t), Speedy 8 (Butcher, h-t), Keane 5 (Rual h-t)

What Next?

Cuation fans are started to get concerned by a leaky defence, conceding goals against Seckland and Dumania to go with the three expected against Bettia. The good news is that Cuation's attack is hitting form with 3 goals a game ratio, they will need that for the next game.

Cuation face giants of the game Jeruselem who have beaten D&S and Dumania 2-0 away while their one game saw them thrash Seckland thrashed 6-1. Topping the table, we will be the first "strong" side Jeruselem have faced and have home advantage.

Jeruselem have conceded only one goal and scored ten so it will be a huge test for Cuation, a game that the defence has to rise too. Jeruselem may be missing Dazza Dallas but they could be too strong for us on current form. This is the start of a testing run for Cuation, the mistakes at the back must be cut out or Cuation will be lagging behind at the half way stage.

Amda-Mo: Welcome soccer fans. Once again your Gnomes have put together a fine performance.

Lur-Mn: Yes indeed, a 5-1 thrashing of Sel Appa in Sel Appa. That really gets you excited. And I'd like to issue an apology to Hmr-Pn. He was excellent out there today. Setting up the first goal and scoring the last and playing great defense the whole match.

Amda-Mo: Speaking of that defense, we finally gave up a goal today, should we be worried?

Lur-Mn: No. Not at all. The offense is absolutely firing and our opponent has a strong attack. Ml-Dni got caught out trying to slip up field and then fired in behind him. That happens. Hmr-Pn looked great out there today. I'm more confident in our defense now than after either of the first two games?

Amda-Mo: Explain that.

Lur-Mn: The weak link of our defense was solidly placed and made good tackles. If Hmr-Pn is the weak link of our defense we'll be fine. Plus this team doesn't need to be as good defensively as previous Robbers sides did. The offense is just so much better that we can get away with it.

Amda-Mo: How is the offense so much better?

Lur-Mn: Alot of it just has to do with familiarity with the system. This is the same squad we had last cup. So they know the drill. They know what to do and our doing it. And the coaches realyzed that without Zax-Im they couldn't play the same holding style, so they've opened up the offense.

Amda-Mo: So are you feeling more confident about this team?

Lur-Mn: How could you not. We've looked great in all three matches. We've beaten good teams easily on the road twice and we throttled our easy opponent. I don't want to jinx us, but right now we're the #1 team in the cup. And that's with a relatively tough schedule. We're rolling.

Amda-Mo: Looking ahead to next game, we come home to face Algal States. Your thoughts?

Lur-Mn: Algal States is playing suprisingly well so far. They started out with a not so suprising win over Anrow. Then they turned around and added a much more suprising win over Okielahoma. And this is a team that took a point off of us last cup, so we know they can be dangerous. But we're playing great, we won't look past them because of that history and they're still not that good of a team. We'll handle them fairly easily, say 4-1.

Amda-Mo: That would be another nice score. And if the Gnomes can outdo your predictions like they've done the first three matches, even better. Now for my final awards segment. Tonights topic is (reaches into a box) fairy tales.

Now here's one I can handle easily. The Ugly Duckling award goes to Hmr-Pn, who turned into a beautiful swan in today's match picking up the Man of the Match Award after struggles coming in.

The Woodsman award goes to Pizelkaxrovsky. He's proven so far that he's capable of slaying any big bad wolfs that come around.

And the whole team gets the goldilocks award. Big things fit some players, and small things fit some players, and middle things fit some players, but anyway you cut it the teams able to find something that's just right.

<symbol of the “Tynelian Nightly Sporting News with Jeff Jefferson” looms in the background>

Matt Simms: We have to cover this sorry excuse for a sport again geesh? What did we do to get punished like this. Look they lost, we knew they would lose and they did, just like they always do.

Jeff Jefferson: Well yes they did lose but 3-1 on the road to Bettia isn’t that bad.

Matt: A loss is a loss, stick a fork in them they’re done. What are they last?

Tom Thompson: NO Matt we’re in fifth in what looks like a five team race now since only five teams have points after three matches.

Matt: Wow you mean there are worst teams than us? I can’t believe it.

Jeff: Dorian and Sonya are having another bad run, no points after three matches.

Matt: Bunch of chicks. No wonder they can’t win, you know what they say about women in a men’s world.

Jeff: Matt you DO know the Tynelian team has women on it as well.

Matt: That’s why we’re so bad Jeff.

Tom: We play them soon Matt, you’ll see how well those ‘chicks’ can play.

Matt: Ha it’ll be a 0-0 snoozefest who are you kidding? Hey is it true that chick from Jerusalem got knocked up so she can’t play? Maybe even our losers might get a oh so thrilling 0-0 draw with them too.

Jeff: If you mean Dazza Dallas then yes she is out of the tournament which may be a tough hole to fill in the Jeruselem lineup.

Matt: Damn Jeff! are you really expecting me to keep quiet after an opening like… OUCH! Who kicked me?

Tom: Sorry Matt, didn’t think your leg was there. Well the team might turn things around against one of the winless wonders, I forget which it is.

Jeff: Dumania, won the Baptism of Fire I believe.

Matt: Hey didn’t we choke in that too when we played there?

Tom: We got to the quarterfinals Matt after…

Matt: So we choked in other words thanks Tom. Dammit Jeff when will we have to stop covering this lousy event. Can’t the weatherman do it? Or one of those ticker things that show all the scores so you don’t interrupt the real programming?

Jeff: Well there is rumors that a new format might be tested soon but…

Matt: Thank you mr. producer whoever you are who are sparing me from dealing with this any longer.

Jeff: But it might not be ready in time for this Cup.

Matt: NOOOOOOOOOO!!

<Tom grins>

CAFUNDÉU WINS THREE POINTS IN AN EASY GAME

http://img.terra.com.br/i/2006/11/13/420259-1652-ga.jpg
Supporters commemorating the good result

This was a game that Cafundéu must win the three points. The opponent was the worst team of the group and the game was at home, in the city of the colourful lights, Astari. And, in the end of the game, the result was more than expected. Cafundéu had the control of the game and The Deathbat Republic had only few chances to score, although didn’t play so bad.

Cafundéu is now in the fifth position of the group, in front of Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, the next opponent. The game will be played away, but some members of the team and staff are confident that they can win a point or even more, as they’re motivated and in a good form. Unfortunately, Vandick left the game injured and one of the two wing-back substitutes, Cafézinho or Fuchs, will get his place.

THE GAME
The Deathbat Republic started the game defending, trying to catch Cafundéu’s defense in a bad position, while the home team started the game attacking and using the wings. But the first minutes weren’t easy, as the visitors started making many violent fouls to stop the attacks. 4th minute: Mercegues received the ball in the right side from Vandick and was fouled by a defender. Kliek took the free kick and crossed to the area, Becão headed but sent the ball over the bar.

6th minute: Ray Kirs started running from the left side of the field, dribbled a midfielder and passed to Heitor. The attacker invaded the area and shot, but he sent the ball wide, losing a good chance. 9th minute: Priotto took the ball from the midfielder and shot from outside the area, but, unfortunately, the ball passed over the bar. 12th minute: The visitors had the first chance, when an attacker received the ball inside the area and shot, but he sent the ball wide.

Cafundéu’s pressure was very strong and the visitors couldn’t hold it anymore. Soon the goal happened. 15th minute: Vandick passed to Anormal. The midfielder ran over two opponents and passed to Ganz Ijak in an excellent position. The goal maker dribbled the goalkeeper and sent the ball to the goal, scoring the goal. After the goal, Cafundéu’s players weren’t shooting very much to the goal. Instead of it they started to hold the ball.

20th minute: In a fast counterattack, Ducas crossed the ball and Mercegues headed, but the goalkeeper made a good save. Cafundéu’s players were having fun with the game and making beautiful plays with many passes. 22nd minute: Kliek dribbled two defenders and passed to Heitor, but the attacker shot and the ball hit the post. 26th minute: Chance for The Deathbat Republic. A midfielder took the ball from Ducas and shot from outside the area. Vargas hit the ball and the ball hit the bar before leaving the playing field.

28th minute: Kliek made a good play in the left wing after receiving a pass from Ray Kirs and passed to Priotto. The midfielder dribbled a defender and shot, but the goalkeeper was able to send the ball to a corner. After the corner, Becão headed the ball, but sent it over the bar. 32nd minute: The defense of The Deathbat Republic made a bad mistake and Heitor got the ball inside the area. He dribbled a defender and crossed to Ganz Ijak, inside the smallest area. The attacker headed the ball and it hit the post. A missed chance.

35th minute: Mercegues lost the ball in the midfield, and the midfielder of the visitor team found a open space to invade in the area. Becão tried to take the ball back, but the opponent was able to dribble him. He shot, but Vargas made a great save. At that time Cafundéu wasn’t dominating the game like in the first minutes, they though that the game was so easy that they didn’t have to work hard, but after that they returned to dominate the game.

37th minute: In a fast and strong attack, Ray Kirs passed to Anormal, who passed to the right side where Kliek was waiting. He saw Kirs invading the area and passed to him. He shot and scored the goal. The supporters at the stadium seemed happy with the result and didn’t stop to support the national team. 41st minute: Vandick was fouled by a opponent defender. The foul was so violent that the defender was sent off and Vandick left the game injured. Cafézinho entered in his place. Anormal took the foul but it hit the wall.

43rd minute: Another foul and another yellow card for a player of D.R. Kirs crossed the ball from the free kick and Ganz Ijak headed. The goalkeeper made a good save, Heitor got the rebound and shot, but sent the ball over the bar after a opponent defender hit it. Injury Time: Last chance of the first half. A striker of the visitor team dribbled Ducas and shot, but Vargas saved. Cafézinho took the rebound and was able to send the ball to the attack. Priotto got it but the referee ended the first half.

http://img.terra.com.br/i/2006/09/23/399275-9267-ga.jpg
Becão marking an attacker of the opponent team

For the second half Braddock changed Mercegues for Manuel Padaria, to stop the rare counterattacks of the opponents. The second half started very slow and boring, with few attacks and many fouls in the midfield. In the first minute, Kliek passed to Anormal who shot from outside the area, but the ball went far away from the goal. 6th minute: After a confusion in the midfield, a player of D.R. got the ball and crossed to the area. The attacker headed, but Becão saved it over the line.

8th minute: Cafundéu answered with a play made in the right side of the field. Cafézinho passed the ball to Manuel Padaria. The defensive midfielder made a long pass to Ganz Ijak, who dribbled a defender and shot, but the ball hit the post. 11th minute: Priotto received a ball from Ray Kirs and shot from outside the area, but the goalkeeper could get the ball easily. Heitor wanted the ball and complained with the team mate.

14th minute: The Deathbat Republic had a chance from the left side of the field. The ball was crossed to the area and a striker headed it, but the goalkeeper Julio Vargas got the ball easily. 18th minute: Kliek, who was having a great game, took the ball from a midfielder and passed to Heitor who was waiting inside the area. He hit a volley in the ball, a defender hit the ball and it went wide. Kliek took the corner and Anormal headed to the goal, but the goalkeeper saved it.

21st minute: Ganz Ijak was fouled by a defender(received the yellow card). Anormal took the free kick and made a long pass to Heitor, but the ball left the playing field before the attacker could reach it. 25th minute: Ducas lost the ball in the midfield and the opponent attacker decided to shot from outside the area, but missed the goal. After the half of the second half, both teams stopped to attack in numbers and the chances only happened after counterattacks or mistakes of the defenders.

Braddock noticed that the game was more calm and there was no need to pressure the opponent looking for another goal, as they could score in a counterattack. So, he put Menzir in Priotto’s place, as Menzir was fully rested and Priotto ran all the game. The Deathbat Republic changed some tired players too. 29th minute: Ray Kirs invaded the area and crossed. Ganz Ijak missed the ball, but Kliek got it and shot. Unfortunately, the ball went to the stands.

33rd minute: Ray Kirs passed the ball to Anormal, who created a great goal chance for Heitor, who, in front of the goalkeeper, was fouled inside the area. All the supporters and players asked for a penalty, but the referee ignored it. Heitor became furious, but the coach asked him to stay calm. 36th minute: Manuel Padaria took the ball from a defender and passed to Menzir, who tried to score in a long range shot. It was a good shot, but when the ball reached the goal the goalkeeper could get it easily.

39th minute: Menzir lost the ball and The Deathbat Republic started a counterattack. Cafundéu’s defense was well prepared, but the attacker dribbled Ducas and crossed to the area. After a confusion inside the area, a midfielder got the ball, but this time Ducas could tackle him and send the ball to the attack. 41st minute: After many passes, Kliek was fouled by a defender. The referee didn’t show the yellow card to him, and Kliek complained. The referee ignored the offensive midfielder.

45th minute: The game wasn’t exciting anymore. The teams were only passing in the midfield waiting the end of the game. In the last chance of the whole game, Becão headed the ball after a corner, but he sent it over the bar. After four minutes of injury time, the referee decided to end the game and Cafundéu won the first game in the group and is now with four points in three games.

Left-back Ray Kirs said to the media: “It was an easy game, we could dominate the whole match, although sometimes they were dangerous in the counterattacks. But we know that the next games will be very difficult and we need to be prepared for them.” Midfielder Manuel Padaria said: “The next game will be very important. If we defeat Andossa, we’ll have great chances to finish in the top four. If we draw, then top five is my prediction. If we lose, than we’ll probably finish in the sixth postition.”

Midfielder Kliek said: “We played well and even had fun. Our opponent wasn’t a bad team, but I agree that they were inferior than us. But our opponent in the next game has a superior squad, and we’ll have to fight a lot to get a good result.” Coach Franz Braddock said the same: “It’ll be a different game. Playing away, against a better team. The team have to show all its ability in this one.”

http://img.terra.com.br/i/2006/10/26/412859-5427-ga.jpg
Players commemorating the first goal

CAFUNDÉU 2x0 THE DEATHBAT REPUBLIC

Place: C-Eletronics Stadium, in Astari.
Attendance: 62,232 people.
Referee: Jounni Cohenlo.
Man of The Match: Ricardo Steppt Kliek(Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Vargas, Vandick(Cafézinho), Kirs, Becão and Ducas; Anormal, Priotto(Menzir), Mercegues(Manuel Padaria) and Kliek; Heitor and Ganz Ijak.
Coach: Franz Braddock.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_deathbat_republic.png THE DEATHBAT REPUBLIC: no team released.

Ratings:
9- Kliek and Ganz Ijak
8- Kirs, Becão, Anormal and Heitor
7- Vargas, Priotto, Mercegues and Manuel Padaria
6- Vandick, Cafézinho, Ducas and Menzir

GOALS: CAFUNDÉU: Ganz Ijak 15’ , Kirs 37’.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu – Next game’s formation: Vargas, Cafézinho, Kirs, Becão and Sávio Ferrari; Anormal, Priotto, Brahma and Kliek; Heitor and Ganz Ijak.
Style of +2

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
Mateys lucky

Mateys third game of the competition so far,,,,, and finally,, a win!!!

Stromboland where the opposition and the Mateys took to the field looking confident, as they where heavily favoured by everyone bar the Stromboland hardcore.

Mateys had to wake up pretty early as Stromboland scored twice without reply, the home crowd went wild, while many of the Mateys fans booed or held their head in their hands. The firste goal was just pure lazyness from the MAteys back four but the second was Brian Livingston fault and his alone. A very poor kick from him fell straight to Strombolands number 9 who was left with an open net to hit the ball into.

This second goal seemed to wake some of the Mateys up, Keith Livingston spured the team on, and his cousein Niel also looked alot more sharp all of a sudden. Livingston scored the Mateys first goal, picking the ball up in midfield, looking around and seeing nothing on decided to have a go himself, he struck the ball which flew into the net 2-1.

Mateys went in behind at half time and some strong words must have been said, as Mateys came out with a strong determination to win, Brian Livingston, Aaron Mc Cann and Chris Kingsberry where all subbed off at half time for David Webber, Seamus O'Flannery and Joey Huer, Kirk obviously feeling that the players wern't pulling their wait and took a risk leaving him with no more sub spaces as the game continued.

Mateys stormed forward, Huer was excellant on his wing, showing the manager just what was being missed out on, he linked with the forwards excellantly, providing the ball for Dougherty's goal and the Mateys second. Huer also was the provider of the Mateys third, cutting inside the left back and drawing both the central defender and goal keeper unselfishly gave the ball to Naylor who sent the ball home.

Stromboland where still not out of the game and against a rejuvenated defence still managed to squeeze in a third goal. The goal packed half continued Mitchell sending up an inviting long ball from deep, which was met by Dougherty who lay it it down to N Livingston who blasted the ball into the roof of the net, 3 - 4


Dougherty got the last goal with some cute one touch football with his team mates which completly exposed the opposition keeper, who could only watch as the ball sailed past him.

Mateys may have finally won a game but there are still rumours floating around that a bad result in the next game would result in Kirk losing his job.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/stromboland.png Stromboland 3 - 5 Lisburn Mateys http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/lisburn_mateys.png

Sports Propaganda - The only dedicated Sports magazine in New Propagandia(Only 1.20¬s)


Six Not As Lucky As Seven


Sports Propaganda is pleased to bring you our analysis of qualifying and terrifying Group Six which is New Propagandia's group. Featuring top teams such as Casari and Fmjphoenix, other good teams such as Marceau State and Aurendia and lower teams like Noremark and Choobie International.


This is a tough group to crack and no-one expects New Propagandia to qualify(we can see why with them currently at the bottom), but with Spruitland currently top suprises can happen. We at Sports Propaganda personally think that the group will end up looking similiar to how it is now::


Casari
Fmjphoenix
Spruitland
Marceau State
Aurendia
Spindomia
New Propagandia
Noremark
Choobie International


World Cup winners Casari shouldn't have a problem winning this game, Fmjphoenix being the main worry but as they soundly dispatched them Casari should finish first. Meanwhile Fmjphoenix will probably finish second, with them looking strong so far beating threat Marceau State away and trouncing Noremark, it just depends how they deal with Spruitland and Aurendia but Sports Propaganda feels that they will qualify.


Spruitland meanwhile have gotten themselves into a good position by beating the weaker teams, Spindomia, Noremark and our own New Propagandia but probably won't stand up against Casari and Fmjphoenix and will have difficulties against Marceau State and Aurendia. But they then will probably make ends meet again when they face the weaker teams once more. Third place is a hard one to guess but we will stick with Spruitland anyway.


Marceau State is a bit of a wild card but should Spruitland, Casari and Fmjphoenix continue the form they're in now Marceau probably won't get a look in. The same goes for Aurendia who is in a similiar position to Marceau, one win one draw and one loss,but with the home advantage in their draw against Marceau on paper Marceau might just edge out a win when Aurendia play them again putting them ahead.


Spindomia, with a recent 3-2 win against Choobie International have just got themselves on the right path, but Sports Propaganda doubts that it will be enough to make their fourth attempt at qualification successfull, an upcoming win against Noremark is likely but with matches against Aurendia, Casari and Fmjphoenix coming up afterwards and then the repeat it is a doubt that Spindomia will qualify.


New Propagandia is a serious doubt to qualify, though we may be a little biased by putting then above Noremark and Choobie but we can see them beating Noremark the next time and and beating Choobie both times(if you pick this up late and New Propagandia lose then we apologise in advance) aswell as giving Spindomia a run for their money.


Noremark is an odd one, they get beaten by Fmjphoenix 3-0 and seem in a bad situation then suddenly rise up and defeat New Propagandia 3-2 then immediately go and get beaten down again by Spruitland at home 3-0. We see a few more 3-0's coming up but maybe another 3-2 win against Choobie. At this rate they'll never qualify though.


Choobie International... Well let's say if you bet on the the qualify and they do you'll be a very rich man. Sports Propaganda seriously think Choobie will be bottom, but the way Noremark's going and possibly even New Propagandia(well they are bottom at the time of press)it will be a tough decision yo see who is.

Now, we wouldn't be New Propagandian if we didn't take a look at some of New Propagandia's upcoming maches and give our thoughts on them.


Choobie International vs New Propagandia(Choobie at Home)

Predicted score: 1-2


New Propagandia to get the first win here or else the Sports Propaganda team may just go around popping every ball in sight in a rage of uncontrollabe anger. We're dangerous, you know. Ryane and Starr will probably score again here.


New Propagandia vs Aurendia


Predicted score: 1-2


New Propagandia will most likely put Aurendia back on track with a loss here, because it's a bit far-fetched to get a win. Starr will probably score again.


New Propagandia vs Casari


Predicted score: 0-3


Three-nil would probably be a stroke of luck, Anton Liberkine will have fun catching balls left, right and centre. It will all be valuable experience but we really can't think of a more realistic score than anything below 0-3.


Fmjphoenix vs New Propagandia


Predicted score: 3-0


Similiar to the Casari game but perhaps not as one-sided. We thought we'd gotten rid of them in the re-draw but they're still here and probably won't rest untill New Propagandia are embaressed.


Marceau State vs New Propagandia


Predicted score: 2-1


New Propagandia seem to do decently in games like this, they probably won't get trounced but won't win.


New Propagandia vs Spindomia


Predicted score: 2-1


We really think New Propagandia can win this, it's at home and there's a chance of beating Spindomia, Starr should be able to score and Ryane too.


That's all the international football coverage for now, next issue: A more detailed look at the World Cup.

After the game against The Deathbat Republic, the coach of the national team, Franz Braddock, had a meeting with the president of the CCFM Samuel Makas and they decided that Braddock could have some extra games to make some tests with players and tactics.

"We want friendlies for the matchdays eleven and seventeen. We're ready to consider any offers. We can play at home or away."

Braddock also said that the national team won't play any game in the matchday seven.

"My players want a day to rest. But only this one. In the others I want to see my team playing."

If someone is interested, please contact the CCFM sending a telegram.

Turtles Butchered by Az-cz

"Good Evening, I'm Kuri Burison with the sport report. Earlier today the Turtles were butchered by the Az-cz team 5-1. I'm here with Sel Appan Coach Charles DuPont."

DuPont: "Good evening, Kuri."

Kuri: "Yes, good evening. Well, first off, how do you feel about your 1-5 loss to Az-cz?"

DuPont: "I am not at all surprised. Az-cz is a very powerful side with a strong attack. The predictions made before the match were easily wrong. I had predicted a 1-4 loss myself."

Kuri: "So you are not at all upset?"

DuPont: "Absolutely not, I had no intention of winning. In fact, we sort of did win by scoring the first goal against Az-cz thus far. Alex Nart did a spectacular job with that shot, more so without Estevez who was back down he field. I am quite proud of the team."

Kuri: "How do you think the Qualifiers are going so far for Sel Appa?"

DuPont: "Very well, we stayed in fourth place and have had a good start so far. I expect it to continue. I see us finishing fourth or fifth in group."

Kuri: "Any chance of qualifying?"

DuPont: "Certainly! If we pull off a couple more wins and maybe an upset at Az-cz, we could get in and I would be very greatful. I think we can do it, a lot of it is luck though. In football, especially international, anything can happen."

Kuri: "And if you don't qualify?"

DuPont: "We intend to go to the Cup of Harmony, and with a stroke of luck, I'd say we might make it to the second round there. It depends on the draw. If we get some weaker teams, it'll be easy. If we are the weak team, it'll be unlikely."

Kuri: "The next match is against Anrow. What do you think about that?"

DuPont: "Anrow is a weak team and so far has lost all three matches and has fielded only two goals. It's pretty muchb a certainty we'll beat them."

Kuri: "What do you think the scoreline will be?"

DuPont: "I don't like to announce my predictions because I get scared it might jinx it, but I assure you it is quite likely."

Kuri: "Ok well thanks for the chat. I'll see you later in the qualifiers."

DuPont: "Ok then."

Kuri: "Well that wraps it up for the Sel Appa/Az-cz match. Sel Appa next will play Anrow as was said. I predict a 4-1 victory for the Turtles. We also have other predictions of 3-0 and 3-1. Sel Appa is currently fourth in group behind Az-cz, Liverpool England, and surprisingly, Algal States. And now to football at home...FC Anila defeated St. Elmo 2-0 and the Anvorbuod Rebels drew against the Nationals 1-1. The Nemnen Turtle play the Natives tomorrow at home. That's it for sports.

Demot Daily ~ Into The Fray

The Dynamo are looking to take advantage of having the week off, after taking time to heal up a few minor injuries and getting some extra time to prepare for their next crucial match, away in Errinundera. The squad is looking forward to the match, as a win will put them on the right track to qualification, espcially after already playing one of the top three seeds in the group in Rejistania.

"Well, we know that they are a good squad, there is no doubt in the locker room about that. We just think they aren't as mentally prepared as our squad, with us playing the AOCAF and them not. We think that those two extra tournaments have given our squad a little bit of a edge, and we look to try and exploit that. Our goal is to get a win, and then prepare from this strech of games before the friendly in ESF. If we can get points from all of those matches, we should be in a good spot to make a valid run at qualifying in the second leg. It's not going to be easy, we know that, but we're confident none the less." were the words of coach Dogood yesterday after a training session on finishing.

The team really needs to bunker down in their midfield, as they have not held the ball anywhere near as long as their opponents in the first two matches. Sans and Masteron have had flashes of brilliance, but are unable to sustain, which is escially dissapointing as they were the two forces in the middle that the squad thought was going to be their strength. Those two will need to step up their game if they want their mates to perform well, and for the Dynamo to have a chance. The otherwise feared strikers of the Dynamo also will have a tough time penetrating the backline of Errinundera, espcially the star of Phazel, who looks like a tough cookie to crumble based on the game footage.

Article by Jasmine Olyvander

Hello I'm Kayleigh Larfale, reporting for Channel 9 Griffwitness News, Bostopia! I'm currently on the plane carrying the Bostopian National Team toward their match against the Unified Capitalizt States in the Anaphase Alchemy Stadium, Sonoma Center.

Right now, we are a couple hours away from the destination, but the squad for today's game has already been given to us. Adam Collick is going with an unchanged squad following the 3 - 1 win over Nomadasia.

In goal is Dave Kripp, who scored the equaliser against Ropa-Topia, with Jamie Drean, Neill Freat, Nigel Peart and Wayne Lill in defense. Victor Triff plays on the left, with Rob Kripp in midfield along with Steven Serring, who is to be given his familiar free-role in midfield, and Dan Reppon on the right. Up front is Ossie Loarning, and Jamie Trent. Our subs are Greg Hearn, Manfred Harrick, Gary Young, John Willis, Gary Maff, Andy Perrar and Brandon Dingaer.

Right next to me is Jamie Trent, who scored two goals in the win over Nomadasia. Jamie, you've come back for Bostopia in wicked form after missing most of last season through injury, and broke your scoring duck only two games into this campaign, how pleased are you with this?

[Trent] I'm pretty pleased yeah, as you said I missed most of the Premier League season with Fenton FC, so to come back like this is astonishing really.
[Larfale] Must have been a lot of hard work gone into this?
[Trent] Oh yeah, it's just testament to my dedication to Fenton and the country to even attempt to get back in form to be selected for the national squad, I feel I have a lot to contribute this time round.
[Larfale] Alright, I'll let you get back to your preparations for the game Jamie.

At this point, Dave Kripp jumps into shot.

[D.Kripp] Preparations? He's playing the latest footie sim, if that's what you call preparations then sheesh! HEY! Don't unpause the game you cheat!

[Larfale] A party-like atmosphere here...
[Trent] GOAL! Jamie Trent! Ranton FC 1 - 0 Fort Boston FC! What a stunner! He's chipped the ball, and it's gone over Kripp's head, who's backpedalled and fell flat on his ar-
[Larfale] ...As I'm sure you can tell. Greg, back to the studio.

[Griffis] Thanks Kayleigh. We welcome all our viewers to watch the game tonight, LIVE on Channel 101, Bostopia Sports Network 1, or on Channel 105, Bostopia Sports Network Football 1.

An on-screen graphic comes up

United Capitalizt Stateshttp://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/commerce_heights.png -v- http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/bostopia.png Bostopia

Anaphase Alchemy Stadium, Sonoma Center
Live and Exclusive on the Bostopia Sports Network
Catch the Highlights at 11PM on Channel 9

The Daily Quak
We Cursed The Kericians

The Quakmybush National soccer team continued their qualifying run for World Cup 32. The team traveled to Kericia to take them on. The teams came out to an excited Kerician crowd. The Sharks started off sluggish, they did not get their first shot until the 24th minute, however it was a good one. Jon Fields came down the left side of the field, he found a streaking Ben Miller who shot the ball and found the back of the net, 1-0 Quakmybush. This silenced the home crowd. The Kerician fateful had thought all hope was lost, until the 34th minute when player number 43 came down the left wing, he fed the ball across to player number 56 who did some fancy footwork and scored, 1-1 tie. This was the score at the half. The Sharks came out flying in the second half, in the 54th minute Jon Fields made a nice run down the wing, but he then rang the ball off the post. He would make up for that miss minutes later. He came down the middle and fired a shot that fooled the keeper, 2-1 Quakmybush. The Sharks then played a bit more defensively. Finally, in the 87th minute Cory Sorley received a pass from Clifford Baker, Sorley shot the ball and picked a corner, 3-1 Quakmybush. That is how the game ended.

Quakmybush - 3
Miller 24' Fields 57' Sorley 87'
Kericia - 1
Number 56 34'

The team will continue to rack up their frequent flier miles, they will come back to Quakmybush where they will take on Dance 2 Revolution. We caught up with Cory Sorley after the game.

"Hey Cory, what did you think of the game?"

"I think we came out way to slow, if we were playing a better team we really would have got our butts kicked, but we still got a win out of it, which is the main point."

"Another goal today, that gives you three in three games."

"Ya, I'm really impressed with my self, but its the guys around me that are helping the most, like Jon, Clifford and Ben, they are all playing well."

"What about Dance 2 Revolution?"

"Well, they used to be a soccer power, but some mismanaging has brought them back down to earth, they will still be a tough opponent, don't get me wrong, but we should beat them."

"Well, thanks and good luck."

That is Cory Sorley had to say about the game against Kericia, and their upcoming match against Dance 2 Revolution. The game will be live on QMBSN, be sure to check out the action.

Goal Scorers
Jon Fields - 5
Cory Sorley - 3
Matthew Graves - 2
Andrew Plett - 1
Ben Miller - 1

Article by: Rick Juras

"tacete, o viri Societae Latinae Uentlandis. nuntius nos novitiam certamini Regni Fungorum et Uentlandis fert."

"gaudete, o amici, gaudete! cohors Hacceri Regnum Fungorum vicit. duo puncti contra nihil."

"O bona victoria! Haccerum laudamus!"

"primus punctus in minutiam quindecim venit. caput Neutoni pilam in reticulum expulsit. Centus se cum cruce invenit."

"cum cruce? non est bona Latina! o tempora, o mores!"

"flocci non facio. secundus in tempum pro calciatis vulneratis incidit. filius Robini pilam ad Iarvim iecit, Iarvis in campo proiecit. calciator Regni Fungorum erravit...dum Andreus Sanctus venisset. ludius Nemoris Regis non erravit."

homini risunt.

tunc Horatio Venator dixit. "Look, I know I missed last week's lesson, but can someone PLEASE tell me what the bloody heck everyone's talking about?"

"tacete, o viri Societae Latinae Uentlandis. nuntius nos novitiam certamini Regni Fungorum et Uentlandis fert."

"gaudete, o amici, gaudete! cohors Hacceri Regnum Fungorum vicit. duo puncti contra nihil."

"O bona victoria! Haccerum laudamus!"

"primus punctus in minutiam quindecim venit. caput Neutoni pilam in reticulum expulsit. Centus se cum cruce invenit."

"cum cruce? non est bona Latina! o tempora, o mores!"

"flocci non facio. secundus in tempum pro calciatis vulneratis incidit. filius Robini pilam ad Iarvim iecit, Iarvis in campo proiecit. calciator Regni Fungorum erravit...dum Andreus Sanctus venisset. ludius Nemoris Regis non erravit."

homini risunt.

tunc Horatio Venator dixit. "Look, I know I missed last week's lesson, but can someone PLEASE tell me what the bloody heck everyone's talking about?"

NON TIMEO VENTLANDES ET IN LATINUM DICENTES

APOLOGIA VIRGILI

A good away win takes your mind off a lot. And in Fmjphoenix, where a lot of the fans can make the trip and have a good drunken time, it's almost easy to forget that there might be body doubles out and around bent on eating you and taking your place.

But it's a load off not having to worry about that for a bit. Most everyone was occupied thinking about the match ahead.

Most everyone.

"What are you doing to her suitcase?" Michael said, watching Mina quickly glance around before unzipping it and glancing inside.

"Stealing all of her shoes."

"Why in God's name would you want to steal all of her shoes?"

"Oh please. She doesn't even need one on the Bionic leg."

"Yeah, but her other, meatier leg could do with a bit of covering. It's not like it's warm out."

Mina shrugged, stuffing shoes in a beat-up backpack. "If she asks, I'll get them back."

"We don't want this to devolve into some kind of open warfare like it did last cup."

"Oh, don't worry. You're with me, and we can easily top anything that they can think up."

"I don't know. Somehow Kyle managed to work some thing of paint into the hot water for the showers-"

"And who do you think managed that for him?" Mina said, closing the bag again and leaving it on the baggage claim carousel. "Honestly, I'd hope after last cup that you'd have some kind of faith in me. Sheesh."

Michael sighed and followed as Mina beat a hasty repeat from the scene of the crime. "I could use a drink."

"Pfft, couldn't we all."

The Aeropag Tribune—Now with the world’s largest collection of slani little shiny flags

Sports: Capitalizts dominate the HURD after slow start
THE HURD—“0 spectators arrived at Thompson University Ground, $weather.”

This statement from a HURDist account of the match just about sums up their nation. A squad of prototype “robots,” which looked more like random piles of wires and circuit boards in the shape of a football player, stood across the field from the Capitalizts. Having never seen a team like the GNUs, they had no idea what to expect.

The match started. Alejandro Bolúfero gained possession of the ball. He advanced slowly, then passed the ball downfield to Davido Agiaro. GNU #3 attempted a slide tackle, and…fell down. The referee awarded the robot a yellow card for taking a dive as the HURDist “medical staff” came onto the field to pick it up. The early minutes of the game were filled with events like this. However, the robots seemed to be learning, and in the thirteenth minute, GNU #10 struck a seemingly-godmodded shot past Friedel Kuban-Schnellfrieder for a 1–0 HURD lead.

They continued to perform well throughout the first half, and extended their lead to 2–0 on a free kick in the thirty-eighth minute. The kick was awarded after Cord Tserkesidis inadvertently bumped into GNU #11 just outside the penalty area, causing a short circuit. GNU #21 was brought on to replace it. The GNUs were able to hold on to their lead for the remainder of the first half.

Things started to look better for the Capitalizts in the second half. In the 49th minute, Włodzimirz Tokay took a corner kick, sending the ball directly towards the goalkeeper lynx. Rather than catching the ball, lynx was knocked over by the impact, and the ball bounced into perfect position for a Bolúfero header to reduce the lead to 1. lynx had to be taken out of the match after the blow, and was replaced by GNU #12.

The GNUs were forced to make their final substitution in the fifty-seventh minute when GNU #5 started jumping up and down near the HURDist goal for no apparent reason. It was replaced by GNU #15. To make things worse, GNU #3 received its second yellow card in the sixtieth minute when it fell onto Bolúfero as he attempted to position himself for a goal, apparently because the robot ran out of power. The penalty kick by Tokay was successful, tieing the match at 2–2.

This match report will be completed in half a year.

http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/worldcup/graphics/flags/COM/ Unified Capitalizt States (SLANI) 6
A. Bolúfero 49, 68, 80, Tokay pen 61, 87, Agiaro 74
http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/worldcup/graphics/flags/rl/PLW/ The HURD 2
GNU #10 13, GNU #7 38

Elven Times
Young in the World

After going toe to toe with the top three squads in the group, and managing to escape with a few points, the Marauders are feeling comfortable about the rest of this leg of qualifying. They know that there are still a few good squads left to take on, including tonight's match away in Alasdair I Frosticus and then traveling to Ropa-Topia on matchday eight. But this team's confidence is soaring high right now, having already faced thier betters, at least according to the world rankings, and have come out relatively unscathed. They are still a youth squad to the world cup veterans like Arridia, but this squad is establishing a fine record and form that might create the foundation to be a sure power for Cups to come.

Not only is this squad doing well, but other nations from their region have been far outperforming their rank so far. Both Fort Europe and Assegai Developments have pulled an upset, and are in good standing position in their group table. Suprising more is that Fort Europe has two upsets, both with clean sheets, over squads that should of thrashed them theortically. These upsets show that The YoungWorld is a valid footballing region, and with a few more of its nations in the thick of things in future Cups, they might become as powerful as Atlantian Oceania region.

Be that as it may, the Marauders have their own work to do right now, currently standing only seventh in the group. It might be said that this is fine considering their schedule, but if the squad is to be taken seriously, this needs to be rectified as quickly as elvenly possible. All things considered, the stars of the team need to make their presence felt, and give solid performances from this point out. One player does not a team make, no matter how good he or she might be, and thus the need for everyone to pitch in a little bit more, and work together is needed, or the fate will be another trip to the Cup of Harmony, and the disgruntlement of the fans.

Schedule
MD01: ESF v Fort Europe 4-0
MD02: Commerce Heights v ESF 2-2
MD03: Krytenia v ESF 3-1
MD04: ESF v Turori 2-2
MD05: Alasdair I Frosticus v ESF
MD06: Bostopia v ESF
MD07: ESF v The HURD
MD08: ESF v Ropa-Topia
MD09: Nomadasia v ESF
MD10: Bye
MD11: ESF v Demot
MD12: ESF v Commerce Heights
MD13: ESF v Krytenia
MD14: Turori v ESF
MD15: ESF v Alasdair I Frosticus
MD16: ESF v Bostopia
MD17: The HURD v ESF
MD18: Ropa-Topia v ESF
MD19: ESF v Nomadasia
MD20: Bye

Article by Luna Santapa
Edited by Ron Santapa

"Alright fine, you win."

"I do? So that means we get to publish a match report?"

"Yeah, I guess. With the fact that we are the only team whose played a full slate that still hasn't allowed a goal probably deserves some coverage. Besides, I can't think of anything to write that would be wild and wacky."

"Well how about a bit about two editors at a large paper bickering about what to publish in their papers?"

"Nah, I don't think so. Now, get to work!"

GRAHAM CITY SUN - World Cup Qualifying Coverage

MANCHESTER - On there first game at home after reaching the knockout stage of the World Cup, there were many a nervous fan that packed New Trafford Field to watch the Galaxy take on their first real challenge of the qualifying stage, the Sea Dragons of Andossa Se Mitrin Vega with the potential to take the lead of the group at this early stage. Despite being so early on in the campaign, many of the players were hoping that they would win the group. "Despite what people say about Oliverry, I really think we can take it to them. They play such an attacking game that they can't take care of themselves on defence, and I think we will be able to take advantage of that we can really pose a challenge to them," said manager Casey Dellet. Captain Silas McGinney also talked about the challenges that faced Spaam. "I think that any points lost in this group will be key. For us, that means making sure that we win away from home against the minnows in the group. For Spaam, it means that the lost points against the Dragons really give us a chance to pull away, especially if we can beat them at home."

Now what did all of this talk mean on the pitch against the team that stalled the Spaamanian offense? Well, it certainly didn't happen here. The roar of the crowd on the stone walls created the effect of torrential waves battering the static coast, and the metaphor applies to the offence of the Galaxy and the inability of the Dragons to maintain and use their possession affectively. The Dragons came out just flat, with their strikers missing several chances for long balls and pressure from behind the midfield. The Galaxy didn't take long to make the Dragons pay, with Amalido Joeira playing a beautiful cross into the box where it fell at the feet of Iska Djukashenki who paused allowing two defenders to fly past him in attempt to block the shot before placing it beautifully past an outstretched keeper in the eleventh minute. The Galaxy continued their barrage of shots and domination of the possession game, with a full twelve shots on goal and fifty-seven percent of the possession.

The Dragons weren't able to re-energize at halftime, with the Galaxy continuing to dominate the play. After ringing two off the crossbar, captain McGinney looked hungry for a goal. He got his chance sixty-five minutes in when he received a pass from Calvin Doig and drilled it home from just outside hte box, capping a period of pressure that led to two yellow cards on Dragon defenders. After the game, Manager Casey Dellet said he was very pleased with the team. "They played absolutely stellar football, and should be proud. Their control of the ball was superb, and they used their strengths, their grittiness and hard work truly paid off with this great win." The defence though, has been the star of the Galaxy team so far. The only other team not to concede a goal is Sel Appa, who have only played two matches so far. The team of Jurgensen and Doninho have shut down any attacks through the middle. Their next test will be against The Mice of Miceland, who have not looked terribly stellar in their first matches.

Final Score from New Trafford Field:
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/the_lowland_clans.png The Lowland Clans 2 - 0 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/andossa_se_mitrin_vega.png
(Djukashenki 11, McGinney 65) - (None)

Attack of the Emoticons - pt2

Andrew and Anthony both woke up, however neither managed to see each other as indeed there where seperated, Andrew was in what essentially looked like a prison cell with thick slightly rusty iron bars and Anthony was in a cell that looked identical that was co-incidentally right next to the previously aformentioned cell.

"Hey, Andrew." said Anthony... trying get his barings.. "Where are you?" said Anthony

"Shh, Be quiet, Maybe we can escape if they think we are still asleep." whispered back Andrew whose mind had obviously been running over time.

That second one of those Blobs burst through the door, it was red burbled something and a hand seem to come out of it, flip the bird and then the arm and hand merged back into the body of the blob.

"Well, I think that burble meant 'Stuff You'" said Andrew after it had once again disappeared.

"What's the Slani is going on?" asked Anthony

"Hehe, Thank God for Rejistanian" Andrew chuckled as he thought about what he'd do.

Minutes turned into hours, into days, days into weeks, weeks into months... actually probably not that long but certainly it did feel a very long time. Eventually they head some sort of rapping on the wall of the cell, they had been given food but kept in prison to rot. What their crime was, probably was unkown whatever these blobs where they certainly where not nice.

The rapping continued and got louder and louder... eventually the wall on the back of the cells gave way and an Orange blob was there rubbing what would be it's forehead. It seemed to have been pounding the wall away with it's head. Other blobs that where seeming beconing the two out of prison. These blobs actually seemed nice a few had smiles on, others had wide grins and there where more than a few that just looked cool with their sunnies on.

But now was not the time. leaving the prison being escorted out what seemed like a compound for some sort of militia Anthony and Andrew made their escape from those nasty Blobs.

After they where out, they where quickly lead to the international airport and they got on the first plane they could back home to Bazalonia.....

Have we done a music video already? No? Here is N.Ixi Ni "All this things"

All this things have a different meaning
(players discuss with the referee)
All this things have their style, have their speed
(Paleoslavic defenders fail to stop Linux Aseru)
Ev'rything leads to different places
Jesi~n Kansu is shown in two scenes, one good tackle and one mispass
there is nothing which is on repeat
8-bit animation from an arcade game

And you can not see,
Different scenes of failure from Paleoslavia spiked with the odd rejistani messup during the bridge
simply here you can not see
probably don't want to see
want to see

All this things in life,
both singers are computeranimated to replace striker Linux Aseru (N.Ixi) and Syku Lyku (Ni)
have been, will be on our side
the scene is the 1:0 against the rather misfunctioning Paleoslavic defense
all this little things in life
they are right!

There is nothing like re-evaluating,
Xiajen Xhekinajha leaves the pitch while Jiira Invatasele comes in as substitute
giving up on the road you have been.
Coach Asaikivelemanakere Ralaseletikivenemaratede shouts orders at the team
All the things they are there and demanding
quick cuts of different match scenes so fast, that you can not make out anything
That you go and see things you've not seen!
Paleoslavic defender @@RANDOMNAME@@ shows his naked ass to the fans, who are booing him

These are things in life
Both singers in their computer-modified form in quickly-cut scenes are seen scoring the 2:0 and the 4:0, this takes the entire refrain
and they will be on our side
all these little things in life,
They are right!

When the song ends, the N.Ixi Ni logo is shown on black ground

Paleoslavia [0-5] Rejistania

MD05 RP Cutoff

MD05 Scores. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=12092764#post12092764)

Random HURDist talk after the match:

HURDIst 1: It would have been so much better if they would have stopped after the first half!

HURDist 2: It would have been so much better if lynx would not have malfunctioned!

HURDIst 1: yeah, Lynx is ace!

HURDist 2:unfortunately, it still is beta!

HURDist 1: Beta is not a state of development, beta is a state of mind!

HURDist 3: yeah, hail beta!

all 4 HURDists: HAIL RECURSION!

HURDist 4: *shows a newspaper* have you seen? these capitalist Closed-Source affecinados called our players "looked more like random piles of wires and circuit boards in the shape of a football player"!

other 3 HURDists: Gates-Worshippers!

HURDist 4: And say no one watched the match live in the stadium!

HURDist 3: well, the stadium does not really EXIST!

HURDist 2: So does our nation! Still, some people payed many not implemented yet to see the match!

HURDist 1: Who sues?

*every HURDist points to another one*

HURDist 1: Bah, cyclic reference!

Sel Appa continues lucky streak with 4-2 victory over Anrow

The Turtles knocked down Anrow in a quick-paced game that saw some interesting events. Estevez scored the first goal in just the 7th minute and returned in the 23rd for a second. Anrow was being beaten back severely and looked hopeless until a lucky break in the 39th minute when defenseman Bernard Apple committed a bad foul against an Anrow player in the penalty box. The ref quickly granted a penalty, but spared the yellow card. The penalty was easily converted by Anrow's top striker. This set the scoreline at 2-1. As the first half came to a close, Arthur Mercator IV of Sel Appa found himself in front of the goal with the ball and happily sent it in just before the whistle blew. The score was 3-1 with Sel Appa leading.

The second half started off uneventfully and it wasn't until the 77th minute that Alex Nart lobbed a ball into the net for Sel Appa's fourth and final goal of the match. The Turtles retreated to hold up a strong defense for the remaining time to hold onto their lead. However, in the 90th minute, just before stoppage time began an Anrow striker slipped through and quickly sent his ball into the net to bring their second goal. It was usless, however, as the scoreline was finalized at 4-2, granting Sel Appa another win.

Sel Appa is now third in group behind Az-cz and Liverpool England. They play Okielahoma next, a fairly strong team, but considering Sel Appa's show so far, a draw is strongly predicted or a one-goal lead by either team. No consensus can be found amongst all the usual prediction sources, however a total of 4 or 5 goals between both teams is in all predictions.

QAZOXIAN TIMES


An embarrassing loss to Lisburn Mateys leaves the Black Oxen wondering what is wrong with this team and with Wentland coming to town next, they could be looking at a 1-0-3 record, and needing to win many matches to get back into it.

The game began Qazox' way as Lisburn Mateys couldn't do anything right, but Qazox failed to capitalize on 6 or 7 scoring chances, which gave confidence to the Mateys. Both sides entered half time scoreless, which was a surprise to many at Chek-Via Stadium.

Kyle Horton got the Black Oxen on the board first with a goal in the 56th minute, but after that Qazox played like a Baptism of Fire winner against the defending champs, and allowed Niel Livingston to tie the match at 1-all int he 66th minute.

Both sides fought for control of the match, until a misplayed back pass was stolen by Livingston , who scored in the final minute, stunning the crowd.

Up next is Wentland, and this is a MUST win for the Black Oxen, if there is to be any hope of a repeat trip to the Cup finals.

Game Summary:
Goals:
Qazox: Horton 56'
Lisburn Mateys: Niel Livingston (2) 66', 89'
Cards:
NONE

SATIVAVILLE STONER

All funk now 99% Dork-Free!

Bedistan is very very VERY good and we were luck to score a goal. Efrain Fuda's 2nd goal in as many matches allowed somw measure of relief in a 6-1 thrashing at the hands of Bedistan. The Multiple-time World Champs looked like they were in the finals as they scored 5 goals in a 14 minute span in the 1st half, easliy blowing open what was a competitive first half hour of play. They added one additional goal in the 69th minute before calling off the dogs.

Up next for the Stoners is Snub Nose 39, who we should have an easier time with, but nothing is a given in today's world.



MATCH SUMMARY:
Goals: Efrain Fuda (2)- 78'
BEDISTAN: 30' 33' 38' 41' 44' 69'
Cards: NONE

The Crimson Blade

Orange Juice

Squeezing the juice out of their opponents, the Assegai Developments National Team put together their strongest performance thus far in qualifying for NS World Cup XXXII, with a commanding 3-0 victory over Florida Oranges.

Assegai hit the field wearing their alternate kits and looked a bit tentative at first, not knowing what to expect. Nevertheless, Assegai locked up with Florida Oranges for control of the midfield in the first half hour of the game. The unranked Oranges were quick, but the more experienced Assegai side soon displayed their own fleet feet and attacking prowess.

After venturing into the opposing goal area several times with no result, young Samantha Neesa stole the ball from a defender and, catching Florida’s keeper unawares, chipped a shot into the net in the 34th minute to give Assegai a much deserved lead.

Urged on by their home crowd, Oranges managed to lace together a few attacks, but Assegai keeper Edward van de Beauchamp was on point, making several crucial saves and the game went to the half with Assegai up 1-0.

To begin the second half, a few Florida attacks were quickly diminished by the suddenly solid Assegai defense. Then, on a counterattack in the 67th minute, forward Severus Snape shook off a defender and took a pass from midfielder Alys Spicer and blasted a shot past the helpless Florida goaltender to put Assegai up 2-0.

Florida completely unraveled after that, and Assegai took complete control of the field. Finally in the 83rd minute, Assegai team captain Ashley Riot split two defenders and got the Florida keeper to bite, only to dish the ball off to a streaking Neesa, who tapped in the third and final goal of the match, much to the disappointment of the home crowd.

Seizing the opportunity to give his subs playing time, Assegai manager Sir Knight Edgard Zúniga made a few switches and his team held on for the 3-0 win.

As he was leaving the field, Riot mentioned that, “Florida Oranges were no slouch and we give them a lot of credit for playing hard as they did. We feel we really earned this victory and we owe Florida much respect for a well-played and foul-free match.”

Indeed, no cards were handed out and, save for a few minor fouls, there were no major incidents in the match.

For van de Beauchamp, it was his first clean sheet of the tournament. For The YoungWorld, Assegai's home region, it was another night of successes, with victories for Elves Security Forces and Fort Europe, in addition to Assegai's own. Thus far, The YoungWorld continues to make a positive mark in the NS footballing world.

Now, Assegai travels back home to prepare for the invasion of The Mushroom Kingship. Assistant Joel Monroy was overheard saying he was going to prepare cream of mushroom for his team in preparation for their match. But, on a more serious tone, Riot said, “The Mushroom Kingship is no laughing matter at all. At No. 74, not only are they ranked higher than us, but they are hungry for a victory and they probably see us as full-course meal. Of course, Assegai will never bow to any opponent until the final whistle, and we will enter the field of play knowing that we will win.”

Report by Mikaela Eyre

Match Summary

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/florida_oranges.png Florida Oranges 0
http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/assegai_developments.pngAssegai Developments 3

[FLO]
None

[AD]
Samantha Neesa (34', 83')
Severus Snape (67')

Spaamian Friendly 101 ---

"Today class we are going to study the recent Spaamian - Bazalonian Friendly. We all know the result correct?" said a teacher addressing a group of not quite 30 year 6 students (OOC: Yr 6 is last year before going to Middle School)

Most of the students where nodding their heads... but there was this one child that spoke up and said "What's a friendly?" The teacher sighed. This particular did not have a bright academic career ahead of them but it reminded her that some of the students may just be pretending.

The teacher replied "Can anyone help Zach out and tell him what a friendly is?"

"A game that you play because you are friends with the other team." suggested one of the students.

"Not quite, Racheal." said the teacher . "A friendly is a one off game between two teams, in this case between the Bazalopes and the Waffles. Does anyone know what a Waffle is?"

"It's a nasty Spaamian creature." stated one of the kids. "Yes and so while we have named our team after our national animal the Bazalope the Spaamians have named their team after their national creature... The Waffle."

So, What was the score of the recent friendly?" the teacher asked.

"Bazalonia walloped them 2 goals to 1, Teach." replied another student

The teacher laughed "I would not call a 2-1 win a walloping but yes that was the score."

"We are going to look at critical moments in the game and get some ideas of what could have happened..." said the teacher. Who left and weild in what was the class favourite piece of school equipment... The television.

The teacher put a tape in and pressed play... The BazSports logo appeared and disappeared followed by the theme music for "Soccer Today" The game then started to be shown starting with national anthems at which the teacher paused it.

"Can anyone tell me why they do the national anthems before a match?"

"Oh, Oh." said an eager student over extending his hands in an effort to get the attention of the Teacher. "Yes James." the Teacher said in essence giving the student permision to speak.

"So they know what teams are playing."... said the student. "Could be." said the teacher "But it is more a respectful thing each team paying homage to their nation before the match, so in essence the Bazalopes are infact representing the entire nation. Just as the Spaamian Waffles are representing Spaam." the Teacher un paused the match and fast forwarded to the first critical point in the match it was 21 minutes into the match and there the teacher paused it just before it happened and then let it play...

Peter Hobble had the ball and was the recepient of a tackle by a Spaamian defender it was a nasty tackle but there was no foul intent just a mixture of cricumstances contrived together to bbring down Peter Nastily. In an amazing show of bad form this was in the penalty box. It went on to show that Peter Hobble made the resulting Penalty Kick and the score was 0-1 to Bazalonia.

The critical point was not infact the goal, but the penalty a lazy, poorly controlled legitimate tackle turned into a yellow card which resulted in the first Bazalonian Goal. If this did not happen the whole outcome of the game cold have very well changed.

Just a few minutes later in the 26th minute James Kantwell had the ball and the ball And this was where the teacher paused it ... James Kantwell took a shot and missed the goal. Allowing the Spaamian keeper to go and collect the ball and do a quick keeper throw to a Spaamian forward who took the ball and sent it forward towards the Bazalonian goal.

"This was a critical point.... either Bazalonia got the goal or Spaam did, the missed goal set up for the Spaamian counter-attack. The teams are now tied 1-all"

Fast Forwarding past quite a few minutes past the half-time break and into the 71st minute of the match where the teacher paused it. James Kantwell had the ball once more and a unique play using Peter Hobble as a realt threat going into real agressive positions and pretty getting attention of the Defense... He was good at that. However this lead Michael Irchov open, James passed the ball to a well-placed Michael who shot the ball into the goal

"Can anyone tell me what happened there?" asked the teacher wanting to get some opinion from the students

"They tricked the defense, made it look like they going somewhere but instead went somewhere else entirely."

"Exactly... now do you know why I wanted to show you that?" asked the teacher and all the teacher got in response was a blank look after 5 seconds a student did raise their hand. "Yes, John." "Be aware of the consequences of our actions and that there be unintended consequences of our actions and decisions?"

The teacher was smilied, John was probably the true Genius of the class. The Teacher looked up at the clock and it was only a few minutes to go before recess. "Okay, I'll give you a few minutes earlymark, but first make sure everything is packed up."

The students quickly packed up and then the Teacher dismissed them.... Wow.. who would you think soccer would be such a great teaching tool the teacher laughed to themself as the teacher packed away the TV and went to the teachers lounge.

THE PTOLEMAIS TIMES

Black Day for Soccer in the Empire

The Socreds have literally found themselves thrashed in the 32nd Soccer World Cup. In their match against the New Montreal States Paladins, the current leaders in Group 3, the Socreds were thrashed 5-zip, in what was considered the most humilating game of the season.

It began badly enough when in only the fourth minute, Colbert managed to get by a strong defence mounted by McClure, Holdsworth and Williams to score the first goal. The Socreds were soon getting into the flow of the game, and had managed to get the ball into the Paladins half of the field. That was to be the first of only two times that the ball would be in the opposing teams half.

In the thirteenth minute, Harrison came close to scoring a goal, and not only missed, but in the process managed to get a penalty against the Socreds. The penalty shot was taken by Corcoran, and the Paladins found themselves ahead by two points to nil. The Socreds yet again managed to push from the brink of defeat to get nearer to the half way line where the game remained until half time.

When the second half commenced, the Paladins midfielder Boethius stunned everyone by scoring a goal within four seconds of the match recommencing. Williams later stated "I was not even ready for the ball; the ball just came and I did my best to stop it." This was followed by a further goal from Colbert in the sixty-sixth minute.

In the dying minutes of the match, in spite of the ball having been shifted for only the second time into the Paladin's half, the Paladin's defence proved too strong for the Socreds, and they turned yet another offensive by the Socreds into a defeat - in the last minute of the match, a spirited effort by Petr Hunyadi saw the Paladins score a fifth goal and give the Socreds a painful wooden spooning.

Coach John Hartless had little to say after the match, except for a brief statement

"The Socreds need to build up their game, and perhaps their approach needs to change as well. Certainly the next match will be the make or break one, if we do not win it, then our chances in this Cup are gone."

What Hartless did not know was that the next match was to be yet another disaster for the Socreds. This time, they faced mid-ranked Anastasiania. Unlike the first two games in the World Cup, the Socreds went off to a good start, and managed to keep the game at nil all throughout the first half, in spite of Yellow Cards to Wildish, Holdsworth and Field. Part of the success was the Yellow Carding of Clarke and Salo during the twenty-fifth and thirty-third minutes.

Disaster would come to the Socreds in the second half however. In the fifth-fifth minute, out of nowhere came Lynnyvaara, and scored the first goal for Anastasiania. A mere two minutes later, in spite of a spirited defence by the Socreds, and good luck in the form of a penalty caused by Nyberg, the Anastasianian team scored a second goal.

The next fifteen minutes would be an attempt by the Socreds to equalise the scores and claim victory from the jaws of defeat. Defeat would be sealed however when Porter scored the final goal for Anastasiania in the eightieth minute. In the end, the game went down three-zip in favour of the Anastasianians.

Coach John Hartless briefly said this at the press conference that followed

"The Socreds have suffered a huge defeat. It is my intention that after this disasterous World Cup, I will tender in my resignation."

The hope that Hartless had of getting his peerage is gone.

The next match for the Socreds is against 21st ranked Quakmybush. Present betting has Quakmybush at GD1 4/- 6d and Alexandrian Ptolemais at GD26 1/- 3d

Propaganda Express Sports Pages (Only 42¬n)


New Propagandia Victorious!(No kidding)


New Propagandia's first step to the road of victory was a good one as they beat Choobie International away by one goal while Anton Liberkine managed to keep a clean sheet. It wasn't the best of matches, especially compared to New Propagandia's other games but a win is a win and enough to make people dance and sing in the streets. Flag's were waved outside of car windows as they honked excitedly. How did New Propagandia achieve this heroic feat? Here's our match report.


Choobie International 0 New Propagandia 1
Husaam Khuzaymah '76


It was a pretty drab game, New Propagandia getting most of the offence in against the relatively new Choobie International. But despite a barrage of offence, they just could not break the deadlock.


Ryane raced up the right wing and crossed the ball in to Starr who headed it but it went over the crossbar. Five minutes later New Propagandia were on the attack again, Lovett took the ball and passed it to Nielson who raced past the defence and chipped it at the 'keeper but it was saved.


At the 30th minute New Propagandia had a corner which Dante Ryane took, Steele caught it with a bicycle kick but it just went wide. Choobie then went on the attack, but it was broken down by Brian Lovett. It was nearing half time and it wasn't that fun of a match, New Propagandia were playing hard but they didn't seem to be under much pressure. A minute from half-time Reyes sprited with the ball, he passed it to Steele who crossed it low, Starr attempted a diving headerbut the ball went over his head, Nielson then gave it a crack but it was saved again.


The team seemed to have had a good talking to because they came out in the second half rejuvenated. The defence hadn't had much work to do so Vesputous and Smithson came forward. Straight away there was the best chance yet as Starr passed the ball way back to Vesputous who let the team get forward before hitting a big cross to Ryane who chested it down before passing a through ball to Nielson who dribbled towards the goal.


He was dispossesed of the ball but Reyes took it back and passed it to Starr who drilled it at the goal but the Goalkeeper palmed it away, Nielson then chipped it at the goal but the Goalkeeper dived and pushed it away from the net, it went to Nielson again who aimed for the top-left corner and it went over the Goalkeeper but remarkably one of the defenders got back and cleared the ball just as it was going over the line. Starr and Nielson seemed tired.


There wasn't much action for a while untill the 70th minute when Choobie International broke through the defence, the right winger going down the wing where Vesputous was too far forward to stop him, he crossed the ball in, it met the head of a striker, Anton Liberkine dove and managed to clutch the ball before it went in the back of the net.


At the 74th minute Lucius Andrews decided that the two Strikers were getting tired and replaced Brett Starr with Flint Wurst and Ian Nielson with Husaam Khuzaymah who the critics had said wasn't a wise choice. Starr gave Al Red his captain's armband. The results worked immediately as New Propagandia had a throw-in at their half, Smithson threw the ball to Hayden who passed it to Kuhzaymah who was way out of his zone.


Khuzaymah dribbled the ball frighteningly quickly soon running into Choobie's half and near the penalty box. Defenders tried to stop him but he ran straight past. This was his moment where he finally proved what he had. He got into the box, ran around a defender who stuck out his leg but that didn't stop Khuzaymah, he jumped over it, the Goalkeeper who had troubled New Propagandia so much rushed towards Khuzaymah but Khuzaymah flicked the ball over him and jumped over him.


He walked upto the net untroubled and tapped the ball in. The Choobie fans jeered and booed, angry at how their team were cut through like butter by an arrogant Arabian-Propagandian boy but the New Propagandians at home and at the game loved it, inspired with hope. There was a new big name striker in New Propagandia.


The rest of the game New Propagandia sat back, clearing any chances of Choobie scoring. Very boring to watch but it got the job done. Brian Hunter was also put on to get experience.


Player Ratings: Anton Liberkine 8, Callum Smithson 7, Gaius Vesputous 7, Al Red 7, Micheal Hayden 7, Brian Lovett 7, Dante Ryane 7, Gary Steele 7, Antonio Reyes 7, Brett Starr 7, Ian Nielson 6. Subs: Husaam Khuzaymah 10, Flint Wurst 7, Brian Hunter 7.


Report by Ant R. Attacking

* Screen showing the blurb - THE FOOTBALL LIFE, ONE ON ONE WITH DAZZA *

Dazza: This is Dazza Dallas, former World Cup 32 captain due to some bloody stupid rule written by some male idiot who thinks all pregnant women look like whales and can't play football. This is THE FOOTBALL LIFE, ONE ON ONE. My guest today is new Jeruselem captain Kate Bush.
Kate: Err, hi everyone ...
Dazza: Louder, Kate. We gotta hear you.
Kate: Err, hi everyone ...

Dazza: That's better. Well, how to feel about being the Jeruselem World Cup 32 captain?
Kate: Sad, Dazza you're the captain still. I'm a pretender here - I'm going to my best but really I shouldn't be captain.
Dazza: You have your own style of captaincy?
Kate: A more quiet approach. You talk a lot but then you're Dazza who talks a lot. I guess being small you have to make yourself heard more while I'm a big tall girl who doesn't yap all day. I'm striker who leads by example on the field.

Dazza: Tough game today, 2 ALL draw with Cuation.
Kate: Not the game we wanted. Cuation just did not allow us to play the way we wanted, but we didn't loose still. I'm learning about captaincy on the field - I'm not there yet. I'm not a Dazza yet.
Dazza: How does your man feel about your elevation to captain?
Kate: He's proud - he thinks it's time I took on more responsibility and make a name for myself. Everyone in the team lives in the shade of your fame so I guess it's time for me to step up.

Dazza: Did you expect to take the position?
Kate: No, no one looks at me as a captain. Rashina like you is the type you'd expect to take spot. I can't stand up, wave arms about and rally the troops like you do. I simply don't have that self-confidence yet.
Dazza: How is the relatonship between you and the coach? Him being my real father as you know?
Kate: We don't talk much, he's doesn't talk a lot except to you and Rashina because you're family.

Dazza: Would you be upset if I took back the captaincy later, if it does happen - but not likely?
Kate: Not at all, it's not really mine. You're the captain - I'm just filling in.
Dazza: Ever been a captain of any football team?
Kate: Never, I just want to be best striker I can be. I'm no natural leader like you - I have work hard at these things.

Dazza: Still nervous about this job you have?
Kate: Oh yes, being World Cup captains means if you fail - then you are a marked person. You have done so well with many women's cups and the best World cup in 30. I have to do better - and that's hard.
Dazza: I heard your man is a member of my fan club - does that trouble you?
Kate: Not at all, at least he's not a fan of some crazy religous nut. I know you're weird but then you're nice weird.

Dazza: Your background - you were once just an office worker?
Kate: Yes, a corporate slave but I found football. I eventually gave up my day job when a real football teams signed me up as a striker. I had to work hard to be accepted as a football player as I'm not naturally talented like your family.
Dazza: When you retire - any plans?
Kate: I'm near retirement age but I plan to be physical trainer or something like that. I might even work for some gym like that Debbie's place - that you part own.

Dazza: Have any kids yet?
Kate: No, some like you who can't seem to shut your legs is opposite of me. Sex scares me. actually. It's weird, my man is a good man and he tries to get me into the mood. I guess with someone like you it's easy but not someone like me - I don't know why.
Dazza: I know I have small problem there, hehe. Don't worry, one day your hormones will do the job.
Kate: I hope so

Dazza: It's nice speaking to you.
Kate: If you get your job back, I'm happy. You're the captain to me, the real one.
Dazza: That's it from Dazza in ONE TO ONE.
Kate: Goodnight everyone.

OOC - It's Jeruselem doing a Tynelia ... trying to get Jeruselem back ...

Dear Diary,

There is a clear pattern in our World Cup qualifying match scores. First we beat Haraki 2-nil; then we beat Rorysville 3-1 and today we beat Demot 4-2. I predict we will beat Rejistania 5-3. Yeah. Yeah. I can hope.

Today’s game against Demot was the first international match held at the New Glumbog stadium in Rodger River. It’s an awful place to watch football. The pitch itself is huge to allow for cricket and athletics so even the front row seats are a long way from the action. Most of the stadium has only one terrace that is very deep. If you are in the back rows and your eyesight isn’t brilliant then bad luck. In its favour it has an immaculate playing surface. The players are already raving about it.

It also has a characterless antiseptic feel to it. Fortunately this is no disincentive to the fans in Rodger River. They have a long tradition of humming at football matches. It’s the weirdest thing. Well before the first kick-off, a soft murmur starts that slowly grows in volume. Different sections of the crowd hum in different pitches. Sometimes they harmonise with other sections, sometimes adjacent sections hum to a slightly different pitch creating a strange beat. At the kick-off the crowd goes into full voice. There are swoops and staccato effects, low drones and high ululations.

addicksonia kicked a goal in the first minute. The crowd was so astonished there was silence for a few moments. But not for long: the traditional home goal performance started up. If you’ve ever seen the old war movies with German dive-bombers you would have some idea of the sound the hummers make. It’s terrifying.

Anyway, the first half was very entertaining. lyseup kicked her 3rd goal of the campaign in the 15th minute and it looked like a whitewash was on hand. However, 2 Demot goals in quick succession (Justin Frontson, 25th, and Sarah Ysman, 30th) levelled the playing field, so to speak.

After the break the two teams had a frantic tussle in the midfield. Our arpentek and their captain, David Masteron, each gave a display of breathtaking skill and relentless perseverance. Unfortunately for the Demotians things were about to go awry.

Eighteen minutes into the second half the sprinklers suddenly started up. The umpire called a temporary halt to proceedings and the players moped around while plumbers desperately tried to get the waterworks under control. This interruption seemed to unsettle the visitors: on resumption otelopea (64th) promptly scored. The Demotians lost their drive after this and our captain, the angelic genderqueer rosaniel, kicked a ridiculously easy goal in the 73rd.

The Dynamos cried foul, claiming that the sprinklers were set off deliberately to unnerve them. The manager of the ground staff, eaheah, emphatically denied the charges. But he would, of course. The umpire declared that neither side was disadvantaged and declared the 4-2 result final.

Best afield was clearly arpentek who set up 3 of the potoroo goals. Ripper. I get to paste another photo in my diary.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g136/regnans/East%20Gippsland/arpentek.jpg

She has the boniest feet you will ever see. The skin is pale and seemingly translucent. Not only can you see all the veins but I swear you can see the bones of her instep. She is a food technologist and is employed by the Errinundera Football Association to assist visiting football teams to cope with a vegetarian diet while in Errinundera. Despite her pretty face and her sweet demeanour all she ever talks about is food. This makes her extremely dull company. But we all forgive her - she is a superstar.

Anyway, we’re off to Rejistania next week. They’re rated 13th in the world. I can’t wait.

Yours sincerely,

mckennap
ankle strapper and boot studder to the potoroos

Being a video camera in Burlock Castle is an interesting thing. As Burlock castle is one of the most popuar sites in Az-cz a lot of events happen there. Of course the Jester's home matches are there, but the Castle Siege to start the kleptochase tour season and many other things happen in or around the stadium.

One of these things that often happen there are world cup matches. As one of Az-cz's most interesting stadiums and one of it's nicest it often gets chosen for world cup games. Today was one of those days and I was one of those lucky cameras that got to film todays game.

Like any world cup match I got turned on well before match to work out technical links and for the cameraman to get a feel. There are three types of cameramen and it's always interesting which kind you'll get. There are those who like to focus on the super fans during their crowd shots, those who like to focus on children, and those who like to focus on babes. Of course they mix up the three, but everybody has a fvorite type. You can tell a lot about a person from that. Today's camerman was a lady watcher. And let me tell you, unlike Vilitan honeys, don't expect a lot of Az-cz men to be tempted away by Algal States women.

I was incredibly busy straight from the start of the match. As become Az-cz pattern they scored incredibly quickly to move to the lead. I could barely follow the ball as a series of quick passes culminated in a quick strike goal for Stanleyinho.

Things evened out and I was able to get some wide pan shots in but unfortunately the Gnomes offense quickly pulled my focus back. Ml-Dni snuck up the side and slipped in on a pass from Levesque to double the Pink & Green lead.

After that it's almost half and half watching Gnomes celebrations and football for the next 10 minutes or so as the Gnomes quickly ratchet up the score from 2-0 to 4-0 on goals by Haji-Me and Hmr-Pn.

After watching that it doesn't take too long for the Gnomes to find their fifth goal of the half. Their third H defender Hubertino gets in on the action to be the fifth scorer.

From there on out it's basically just the cameraman enjoying himself. Halftime is a kleptodance demonstration and in the second half there are a suprising large number of shots of the kleptodance team. Yes it was a fine show, but that's only a small part of the reason. Naked females athletes are certainly interesting to this cameraman and the game is a bore. The Gnomes, like in their earlier match against Anrow use the second half as basically practice for their younger players. This means that the cameraman can afford to drift off from the crowd for slight moments. Who knows, maybe kids from some of the more repressed countries will enjoy this camera man's wandering eye.

<symbol of the “Tynelian Nightly Sporting News with Jeff Jefferson” looms in the background>

Jeff Jefferson: Ok that wraps things up with our baseball news, now its time for the World Cup look.

Matt Simms: Hey you said they were going to get this off our show so we can talk about real sports.

Tom Thompson: Actually you just hoped they would. But hey we won the match so that’s good.

Jeff Jefferson: Yes a lone goal by Connor MacDougal was all the scoring as the team moves to 2-1-1.

Matt: Wow 1-0, real exciting match that must have been.

Jeff: There is some good news Matt, we have a new voice of soccer here in Tynelia who will be joining us for this part of the program. A show is still in the works so for now we’re cutting down a bit on other sports to fill the spot.

Matt: What the hell? Another useless…

Jeff: Viewers welcome Dinah Miller to the show.

<an attractive atheletic looking brunette walks onto the stage. Matt drools.>

Dinah: Hello boys, hope you don’t feel threatened by a ‘girl’ out here.

Jeff and Tom: Welcome aboard.

Matt: Hey babe what say we head somewhere after the show and see what happens?

Dinah: Hey Matt, let’s not and say we did. Last I checked we’re supposed to be talking about soccer.

Jeff: So Dinah I was just reading some of your background. All-Tynelia collegiate first team soccer starter two years ago but you never went pro. Why is that?

Dinah: Well I had offers but I hurt my knees in a car wreck right after graduation so that pretty much ended my career, but I had graduated with a journalism degree so I figured sports journalism was the next best thing.

Tom: So what is your opinion on the World Cup so far?

Dinah: Well the team is probably wishing they got the home win against Yafor 2 to stay out of this three way tie for third. Goal differential looks to be another problem again, a defensive team like Tynelia never does well there because of all the low scores.

Matt: You mean you actually played that so-called sport? What a waste.

Dinah: I notice Matt you don’t seem to care for any sport unless teams score left and right. Some people actually prefer the strategy of a low scoring sport.

Matt: What strategy? Kick a ball as hard as you can and hope it goes in.

Dinah: Oh like your football where you have the quarterback throw the ball as far as he can and hope someone catches it for a touchdown? Or baseball where the batter swings as hard as he can and hope he hits a home run?

Matt: But… but that’s….

Jeff: OK you two settle down and let’s get back to the Cup.

Tom: I think she has you there Matt.

Matt: You be quiet.

Dinah: Thanks Jeff, yes things look to be pretty tough these next three matches. Dorian and Sonya next followed by Jerusalem and Cuation. We need to come away with at least four points to stay in the hunt I think. Six would be better.

Jeff: At least D&S actually got a win last match.

Dinah: Yes, its always a worry playing a decent team that is still winless, you know they’re due but just not when and hope it isn’t against you.

Tom: At least the offense is doing well for us now.

Dinah: Well so far so good, if we can keep scoring two a match like we have been averaging just under I think we can make it to the World Cup itself. As a soccer fan I hope this is what happens. A lot of people have been turning away from the sport but a qualification here should stir interest up.

Matt: Ha, if you didn’t look as good as you do no one would have any interest in listening to you. Didn’t half your league fold last year?

Dinah: Grow up Matt. Only two teams went under but that was an expected result of the massive overexpansion of the previous decade. Without the crowds the more questionable teams couldn’t support themselves. If anything this should increase the quality of play.

Matt: Ok that’s it, girl you’re going down.

<Matt jumps out of his seat only to get caught by a standing side thrust kick to the jaw followed by a spinning roundhouse kick that flattens him>

Tom: <smiling> So where did you learn that Dinah?

Dinah: <sitting back down> Well I did try the martial arts to rehabilitate my knees before I gave up trying to come back to soccer. But I still keep up with it. I’m a black belt now.

Tom: Well I don’t think Matt will be bothering you after you KOd him on national TV like this.

Jeff: And the producer hasn’t run in screaming to cut us off so I guess Matt isn’t going to get much sympathy about this.

Dinah: Maybe he’ll be a bit more respectful about soccer now.

<Jeff and Tom look at each other before replying in unison> : NAH!

((OOC- hey Jeruselem no stealing my gimmick ;) ))

TWO MINUS ONE EQUILS THREE

NSWC Match 4

Harlesburg – 1 – v – 2 - Fort Europe

Report by Amy Bystander, Commonwealth News.

Fort Europe have done it again, stunning football fans all accross NationStates with their third upset of the tournement after just four games played. On the road in Harlesburg, Fort Europe put up a fine display scoring not one but two goals in a thrilling match that saw the home fans leaving the stadium well before the final whistle. If they had stayed a while longer however they probably would have seen their team attempt a last minute fight back as Harlesburg scored in stoppage time to close the gap. It was however too late to prevent all three points going to Fort Europe though who's starlet Michelle Bishop scored both goals taking her count to four goals in four games.

"I really don't see what all the fuss is about, I enjoy my job but that's all it is. If I play well I can pay my bills and put food on the table each week, so I do my best. If I didn't then I don't know where I would be, probably in a factory somwhere, or in the army." Said goalscorer Michelle Bishop after the match.
Fort Europe have provided nothing short of a miricle in the opening weeks of this competition collecting nine points from a possible twelve, which leaves them standing third in group nine and only three points adrift from first. They travel next to Rordia who have also performed well so far and will attempt to bring yet another victory to what is turning out to be an outstanding collection of results against far superior teams. Team manager Stuart Moss has choses tactics that have worked so far and remains confident that while they are providing results he has no need to change them. Therefore the lineup against Rordia will remain the same. Commonwealth News has also been keeping track of The YoungWorld's other teams in this competition and is pleased to see that rivals Assegai Developments and Elves Security Forces are both doing well in their respective groups while minows Demot are struggeling to perform.

PLAYER RATINGS
(Out of 10)

7 - James West
7 - Floe Peltsten []
7 - Tim Forrester (C)
8 - Aki Haddon
7 - Gemma Lloyd []
8 - Katherine Keller
8 - Ryan Holmes
8 - Mia Nevola
7 - Edowine Sanjuan
9 - Michelle Bishop (26,49)
8 - Karl Isaak

SUBS

- - Tom Reas
7 - Laura Harris (On for Peltsten (64))
- - Murphy Lee
8 - Vicky Princess (On for Sanjuan (45))
- - Josephine Blanchard

Amda-Mo: Well another nice match for the Pink & Green.

Lur-Mn: Indeed. The Gnomes continue to maintain a blistering pace as they're taking full advantage of the early part of thier schedule. They have about as good of results as could be hoped for after playing a quarter of their matches.

Amda-Mo: Explain to us how the Gnomes controlled the match today.

Lur-Mn: They played better. They used their speed and knowledge to control the ball and win possession a lot and they disected the Algal States defense. Not to mention the fact that our defenders were just about perfectly timing their runs forward.

Amda-Mo: Are you worried about how these easy matches wil affect the mentality of the team?

Lur-Mn: For other teams I would be, yes. But I know the character of this team. I know the players and I'm certain they won't get overconfident.

Amda-Mo: After four match days what are your thoughts on the group?

Lur-Mn: I think the top three teams will be the teams everyone thought they would be: us, Liverpool England, and the Islands of Qutar. Yes they're currently in sixth but they've already played us, Liverpool England and Cataduanes, which means they're going to start climbing up the table. Basically other than Algal States beating Okielahoma this group is separating about as expected.

Amda-Mo: Looking ahead to our next match about Tocapa, what are your thoughts?

Lur-Mn: I think we ought to be able to keep on rolling. If we can turn in another performance like today we'll be well positioned going into the tougher games on the schedule. I'd say Az-cz 4 - Tocapa 1.

Amda-Mo: Hmmm... that's the same score you predicted for Algal States, which we actually won 5-0. Can it happen again? Now we go to my awards. Tonights topic is... (reaches into a box) kleptochase. Well in that case I'll go ahead and do four, one for each technique.

The Technique award clearly goes to technique who's technique is unmatched.

The Maze award goes to Ns-Ta. His knowledge and positioning are keying what has been a strong defense up to this point.

The strength award has to be taken in another direction. Since actual physical strength hasn't come into play, I'm giving this to coach Khim, who seems to have all the metaphorical tools in his toolbox.

The speed award has to go to Stanleyinho, both for his physical speed and the speed with which he scored the gaming winning goal today.

Well that does it for tonight's edition. We'll see you after the Tocapa match.

Lur-Mn: Night everyone.

GREAT VICTORY FOR CAFUNDEU PLAYING AWAY

http://img.terra.com.br/i/2006/09/27/401194-9023-ga.jpg
Heitor commemorates his goal

It was an unexpected result, and very good for the visitors. Cafundéu defeated Andossa Se Mitrin Vega with a simple win and now is in the fourth position in the group. The goal was scored in the middle of the second half. After the game, the supporters that travelled to the foreign country to see the national team had the chance to commemorate the good result with the players and the staff.

Now, Cafundéu will play another game away, this time against the third placed Spaam. There are few chances of a good result but, if Cafundéu win this game, it’ll have chances to qualify for the World Cup. The players are in a good form and the team seems prepared for all the games, but of course they know that a mission like this one is very difficult, one of the most difficult of their lives.

THE GAME
Andossa started the game very confident, and because of that created some breaches in their own defense. Seeing that, Cafundéu started to attack, using the wing-backs a lot and the dribbling ability of its players. In the third minute, Brahma received the ball in the midfield and dribbled an opponent. Then he passed the ball to Ganz Ijak, who invaded the area and shot, but the goalkeeper made a good save.

Andossa reached the attack two minutes after, when a midfielder invaded the area and passed to an attacker positioned in the centre of the area. He shot, but sent the ball wide, losing a great chance. 8th minute: Ray Kirs came running from the left side of the field and crossed to the area. Ganz Ijak headed, but the goalkeeeper sent the ball for a corner. Kliek took the corner and Becão headed the ball, but he sent the ball over the bar. One minute after, Cafézinho received the yellow card after fouling an opponent defender.

12th minute: Priotto lost the ball in the midfield and the home team started a counterattack. A winger crossed the ball to the area, and, after a confusion inside the area, an attacker was able to shot, but the ball hit the post, scaring all the Cafundéu’s supporters. 15th minute: Anormal took the ball from a midfielder, ran over a poor defender and passed to Heitor. The attacker invaded the area, dribbled one defender and made a good shot, but the ball hit the bar before leaving the playing field.

19th minute: Another chance for the visitors with Heitor. The attacker received a pass from Anormal again and invaded the area. This time his shot was blocked by a defender, but Priotto got the rebound and shot. The goalkeeper was able to save. 23rd minute: Andossa attacked. A midfielder dribbled Priotto and passed to an attacker. He tried to score shooting from outside the area, but missed the goal. 26th minute: Cafézinho passed the ball to Kliek. The midfielder shot from outside the area, but the ball went far away from the goal.

http://img.terra.com.br/i/2006/09/27/401197-4097-ga.jpg
Game was very difficult with players battling for the ball

30th minute: ASMV had a good chance after a free kick. The ball was crossed to the area and a midfielder headed it to the goal. Vargas saved and sent it to a corner. After the corner kick, Sávio Ferrari sent the ball to the attack. 33rd minute: Anormal took the ball in the midfield and passed to Brahma. The midfielder was well marked and had to pass the ball again, this time to Kliek, who crossed the ball to the area. Becão jumped to head the ball, but the goalkeeper was ready and could save easily.

37th minute: Ray Kirs made a good play in the left side of the field, saw the goalkeeper in a bad position and shot to the goal, but a defender could head it to safety. Priotto got the rebound and invaded the area, shooting few seconds later. Another defender blocked the shot and Ganz Ijak took the rebound, shooting the ball again. This time, the goalkeeper made an excellent save. 38th minute: A defender of ASMV fouled Brahma and received the yellow card.

40th minute: Andossa started a fast counterattack. One of the midfielders got the ball in a good position and crossed it to the area. Becão headed it to outside the area, but an attacker got the rebound and shot. Vargas jumped and hit the ball, making a great save. 42nd minute: Priotto got the ball and passed it to Brahma. The midfielder had some problems to control the ball, but passed it to Heitor, who shot inside the area but missed the goal.

44th minute: Ray Kirs received the ball in the left side of the field and crossed it to the area. Anormal was well marked and couldn’t reach the ball, but Ganz Ijak headed it. Unfortunately the ball went over the bar. Injury time: Andossa had the last chance of the first half, when one of its attackers made a great play dribbling a defender and passing to his team mate inside the area. Becão was marking him, but he was able to shot, but the shot was very weak and Vargas could get the ball without problems.

For the second half both teams made changes. ASMV changed two players, trying to have a more offensive formation. Cafundéu’s coach, Franz Braddock, put Ernesto Ijak in Cafézinho’s place, putting José Brahma in the right-back position, creating a more offensive formation with two offensive wing-backs. The second half started more offensive and exciting. 1st minute: ASMV was able to get the ball in the attack and a player shot from outside the area, but the ball went over the bar.

3rd minute: Brahma came running from the right side of the field and passed to Heitor, who dribbled a defender and shot, but missed the goal. 5th minute: This time Anormal tried a long range shot, but he sent the ball wide. 7th minute: Andossa came from the right side of the field and the ball was passed to an attacker, who shot in the entrance of the area. He missed the goal too.

It was clear that both teams were trying to attack with full strength, but they couldn’t finish well, missing too many goal chances. Seeing that, both coaches decided to ask the team to pass more the ball to find a clear goal chance. 10th minute: Kliek received the ball from Priotto in the midfield, but the opponent’s defense was well positioned. He passed the ball to Ganz Ijak, but the attacker passed the ball back to him. He could invade the area and shoot, but it was a very poor attempt and the goalkeeper got the ball.

http://img.terra.com.br/i/2006/10/12/407521-8473-ga.jpg
Players fight for the ball

13th minute: ASMV got the ball in the midfield. The player couldn’t invade the area, so he tried to score from a long range shot, but the ball went far away from the goal. 17th minute: Ray Kirs passed the ball to Priotto. The defensive midfielder decided to continue with the ball and tried a long range shot, missing the goal. 21st minute: ASMV had a corner, the ball was crossed to the area and an attacker headed it to the goal, but the goalkeeper Julio Vargas was able to make a good save.

23rd minute: Heitor was fouled by a defender and started to complain with him. A fight was near to start, but the referee stopped it and showed the yellow card to both. 25th minute: Anormal made a long range pass to the attack and Ganz Ijak got it. He invaded the area and shot, but the goalkeeper got it. Cafundéu was better in the game and Andossa couldn’t attack well anymore.

In this minute, Kliek took the ball after a defender made a huge mistake and crossed to the area. Ernesto Ijak headed it, but the ball hit the post. Many players tried to get the ball, but Heitor hit it with a volley and didn’t give chances to the goalkeeper, scoring a goal. After the goal, Andossa’s coach put another attacker to try to win the game. Braddock put Manuel Padaria in Kliek’s place and put Heitor in the midfield. 31st minute: Ernesto Ijak recieved the ball inside the area, but made a very bad shot, missing the goal.

34th minute: ASMV attacked with five players, trying to score at any price. Sávio Ferrari took the ball and sent it to safety. 36th minute: Another attack in numbers made by the home team, this time they could dribble Sávio Ferrari, but Becão cleared. 37th minute: One more attack of Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, this time they dribbled both defenders and shot, but missed the goal. After three missed chances, the coach of the home team was desperated and started to cry.

41st minute: Manuel Padaria received the ball from Anormal and passed to Ernesto Ijak. The attacker wasn’t playing very well, and lost the ball. 43rd minute: Priotto passed the ball to Ganz Ijak. The attacker was tired and didn’t make a good shot, so the goalkeeper could get the ball easily. The game was reaching the end and the supporters of Cafundéu started to commemorate the great result. After five minutes, the referee ended the game and the party on the field started.

After the game, midfielder Brahma said: “A marvelous result for us. If we continue playing at this level, we can even get the qualification! I know that it’s very difficult, but we surely can dream about it.” Defender Becão said: “This game wasn’t easy. We were lucky that their finish was awful today, but our wasn’t good. The defense made a very good job and we’re ready to play against Spaam.” Goal scorer Heitor only said: “A good day for me and for the team, we proved that we are a strong team that will fight for a good position.”

Midfielder Priotto said: “I’m very tired. This game was the most close of all the four that we played until now. It was really difficult.” The coach Franz Braddock didn’t hide his happiness, and said to the media: “Wonderful job, players! I’m really proud of you today! If we defeat Spaam, we can fight for a position in the top three. If we lose, no problem, I’m sure that we are already doing a excellent job.”

http://img.terra.com.br/i/2006/10/12/407514-6700-ga.jpg
Players commemorate goal against ASMV

ANDOSSA SE MITRIN VEGA 0x1 CAFUNDÉU

Place: Unknown Stadium, in Andossa Se Mitrin Vega.
Attendance: unknown.
Referee: Abdullah Al-Hadehjab.
Man of The Match: Heitor(Cafundéu).

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/andossa_se_mitrin_vega.png ANDOSSA SE MITRIN VEGA: no team released.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/flags/cafundeu.png CAFUNDÉU: Vargas, Cafézinho(Ernesto Ijak), Kirs, Becão and Sávio Ferrari; Anormal, Priotto, Brahma and Kliek(Manuel Padaria); Heitor and Ganz Ijak.
Coach: Franz Braddock.

Ratings:
9- Heitor
8- Vargas and Becão
7- Ganz Ijak, Kirs, Anormal, Brahma and Kliek
6- Sávio Ferrari and Priotto
5- Cafézinho and Manuel Padaria
4- Ernesto Ijak

GOAL: CAFUNDÉU: Heitor 73’

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cafundéu – Next game’s formation: Vargas, Cafézinho, Kirs, Becão and Sávio Ferrari; Anormal, Priotto, Brahma and Kliek; Heitor and Ganz Ijak.
Style of +2

National Stadium, Cataduanes

Announcer: Welcome to national stadium in Cataduanes for Matchday 5 of the 32nd world cup!

Dan: Wow I cant beleive we got fired.

Adam: Yeah.

Dan: But we still get to go to all the matches right?

Adam: Yeah.

Dan: Say anything else?

Adam: Yeah.

Dan: What is it?

Adam: Nevermind, match has started.

38th minute

Dan: Aww COME ON BELUE play frikin defence!

Adam: Crap here they come.

Announcer: GOAL!!!!!!!!!!

Dan: And that sucked.

Adam: This could be a very long cup.

Dan: Sophomore blues Adam.

Adam: Yeah well we better snap out of it quick here.

41st minute

Dan: GET THE BALL TO HARRIS! GET HIM THE BALL! God****** we cant even pass the frikin ball to our best player!
26 FRIKIN GOALS LAST CUP AND NONE THIS CUP BECAUSE HE CANT GET THE FRIKIN BALL!

Adam: Calm down there buddy.

Dan: AWW MORGAN MAKE A STRONG PASS

Adam: Thats going the other way. BELUE STOP SOMEBODY.

Annnouncer: GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dan, Adam: SHIT

Halftime

Dan: Well im going to get a candy apple you want anything?

Adam: Yeah get me some popcorn.

Dan: Alright

67th Minute

Adam: Gosh ive been yelling this all day GET THE FRIKIN BALL BACK WILSON!

Dan, Adam, Crowd: OOO

Dan: Geez what the **** did Harris do that for.

Adam: Oh shit red card!

Dan: Drew you IDIOT

Adam: We're screwed

73rd Minute

Announcer: GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Adam: Let's leave, like now. This game is awful to watch and we are being raped.

Dan: Yeah lets go have a few drinks at a bar. Oh and make sure we take off the Okielahoma t-shirts.

Adam: Good idea.

The l33tphr34kz could not believe the score coming in from the Garrison.

4-1?
WTF?
LOL!
W > S
pwned
\/\/3|\||-|_/-\|\|o| 733t

And why not? Four goals was not a normal Hacker tactic. But the one set of fans who had a grudging respect for the Hack (outside the Red Tide) were those of Royal Heath and playing the game there was a smart choice. And Hacker had assisted by keeping Andrew Saint as the lone forward, who scored a brace as the Swifts swept aside poor Stromboland.

It was the perfect tonic before the game against Qazox, which was looming as a fairly important fixture if Wentland were to qualify for the Cup of Harmony. Victory would be disastrous.

However, Hacker had rested a number of first choice players for the Stromboland game which allowed them to freshen up whilst allowing the reserves to run riot. Apart from Saint's twosome Keith Basset scored a rare goal and Frank Guthrie, younger brother of Vic, also muscled through for his first international goal. The only blot was a goal conceded at 3-0 when Len Coburn misjudged a long-range shot.

So, Black Oxen next..."we'll send 'em to the slaughterhouse," was Hacker's typically bellicose comment, whilst munching on a Wentburger.

Steady going
Watch ( http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/1856/pinawc32ao7.jpg) constant World Cup 32 news updates on PINA ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Public_International_News_Ariddia)!

Despite a few slip-ups and moments of uncertainty, the Rouge-et-Noirs have established a reasonably steady start in the World Cup 32 qualifiers, winning their last two games on home ground against Qazox (4-2) and The Mushroom Kingship (3-1). After a heavy emphasis on attack against Qazox, the team adopted a more cautious approach against their next opponent, strengthening their defence.

Ariddia is now at the top of Group 7, as the only team to have won three of its four matches to date.

“We’re under some pressure, since on paper we’re supposed to be favourites in this group,” team captain Hanifah Kyaw (who scored once against Qazox) explained. “But we’re not going to complain about that. We’ll just do our best and try very hard not to disappoint.”

Skilled but inexperienced players such as Xavier Xu (goalkeeper) and Ke Sho (defence) have had an opportunity to prove themselves, and are pleased to be taking part.

“There’s a lot of excitement surrounding the World Cup,” Xu said. “I’m thrilled and honoured to be playing for my country.”

Xu also plays domestically in Cafundéu, and there have been mentions of a possible friendly match between the two countries.

Dear Diary,

Today I got to see my first Marauder match in person ever!!! It was soo exciting, with my mom and dad down there on the field, doing their best to give the team the win. They dashed here, passed there, and took wild shots that you usually only see in video games. I can't wait until they let me go to the Footballing Academy and I can try out for the team. With my dad's strong head, and my mom's speed and deadly accuracy, I'm sure to be a great player some day. Several of the Premiership teams have already inquired about getting my services once I'm old enough, isn't that awesome?

The match itself was pretty neat, espicially with my dad scoring in the fourth minute like that. His best friend, Rick Ceullar, set him up with a high cross from outside the box. All those defender guys tried and knock it away, but my dad rose above them all and met it with his thick skull. The keeper tried to save it, but the ball just flew right by him. The Navy Wave, the Marauder fan club, gave shoot of poppers and gave lots of loud yells afterwards. They were soo loud, that they gave me a headache. I might have to tell my dad to get me seats away from them in the next match.

Anyways, the game got on, and those Alasdair fellows started playing a lot better and they managed to get a few attacks going. Unfortunately for them, St. Louis was up to the challange, and punched away those shots like they were drow renegades. The team walked confident into the dressing room as the half ended, and my mom brought me some nachos and a drink. I love her soo much, she's always looking after me, and making sure I have everything I need.

The team was quick to strike again after the half restarted, with my mom giving a nice little pass to Justinian, who put a shot in the corner that their keeper couldn't have a shot at. After that, the team seemed to tire a little, and the Alasdairians pressed them hard. Yet Martin just would not be beat, stopping every shot like his life was on the line. Unfortunately, Florez got called for a handball in the 84th minute, and their forward drove home the penalty.

In the end, the team got the victory, and can now ride the momentum into their easy leg of the schedule. Dad got the game ball, which he gave to me when we got home. He's pretty cool like that. Uh oh, my ice cream is melting, time to go.

Kiso Night