WC29 RP Thread [Archive] - Page 3

Tynelia

03-07-2006, 21:38

“Hello everyone and welcome to Tynelain Soccer Weekly’s continuing coverage of the 29th World Cup qualifying efforts of our Tynelian nationals. I’m Sal Spikeman along with Anna Dalespin. Today Tynelia managed to avoid being avenged upon as they salvaged a 1-1 draw with top seed Praying2god. Everyone else in the group also drew except for the surprising Quakmybush team which won 1-0. This win puts them in a points tie for second with only slightly less surprising Atheistic Right who also managed a draw. Tynelia trails them both by two points going into its match with McPsychoville as time begins to run out. Truly other than McPsychoville this group is living up to the nickname of the ‘Group of Death’ Anna.”

“That it is Sal, every team is still alive in part due to the fact that it is the only group to have only two teams with as many as five wins and none with more than six. Everyone has ether drawn to everyone else or have split the group play with a win apiece meaning that no one is making any sort of ground up regularly. In fact to show how messed up things are so far in this group you’ll notice that Tynelia has a 2-1-3 record against the teams ranked below them while being an unbeaten 1-3-0 against the three teams above them. That being the case it might actually be an advantage that Tynelia faces the undefeated second seed and group leader McPsychoville next followed by the tie machine that is third seed Rordia before they face probably their toughest opponent of the bunch with last seed Quakmybush at home in a game which may end up deciding who moves on to the next stage.”

“Very true Anna, McPsychoville is still our biggest ally in the group with matches left against the Atheistic Right and Krajkovia. The Right at least still leading us. McPsychoville probably is hoping they lose at least one match before the Cup proper just to get it out of their system before the real important maches start. Let’s hope they decide this next match against us is a good time for it.

“As for today’s match Tynelia had to come from behind after finding themselves behind 1-0 at the half. But Alan MacDougal managed to tie things up at 1 in the 60th minute making this his second goal in as many matches. I think he was a bit upset with Anna’s commentary the other day. The visitors held a 11-9 shot edge though quality attempts were even at 3 each. They controlled the clock as well by nearly four minutes as Praying2god dominated much of the first half. Still Tynelia managed to go 1-1-0 against the top seed in the group. Unfortunately they don’t seem to do as well against the teams ranked well below them.”

“This has been a very disappointing run in that regard Sal. Had they played up to their seed even slightly Tynelia would be in a comfortable position right now but being swept by the Atheistic right has really crippled out chances while aiding theirs as they sit in second by goal differential over Quakmybush who if their routine holds of win-loss-win-loss-win continues should lose their next match and possibly find themselves leapfrogged b the host of teams within a win of them still. This is a very bad sign for Tynelia. They need to win at least one match by a few goals because if they don’t win goal differential the team is well behind in goals scored and will lose any tiebreaker at that point.”

“Very true Anna, now let’s see how the rest of the Top Guns did today with Mike McPhee. Over to you Mike.”

“Hello Sal, today some of the Top Guns did indeed stumble, none worse than the Archregimancy who managed to run into a team not fazed by their two hour national anthem as they fell 3-0 to Kaze progressa. Joining them on the losing side is Total n Utter Insanity a 1-0 loser to Swilatia. In addition to Praying2god’s draw with Tynelia, Hockey Canada could only manage a 1-1 draw with Anastasiania. Once again there was a tie for the drubbing of the day, #1 in the world Bedistan pounded Magnus Valerius 5-1 but this margin was equaled by Tadjikistan’s 4-0 win over Kirstiriera in the battle of the teams with really odd spellings. However things should be getting easier from here for the Top Guns, their final three matches come against the 5th,6th and 7th seeds in the group which means they should all be flexing their muscles against the weaker teams in the group. Of course our group is the exception to that rule. Back to you Sal.”

“OK and thanks Mike. Well this group seems to get crazier every day. At least two draws a day it seems and anyone who actually wins a match immediately jumps into second. So what’s your take on these next matches Anna?”

“Obviously McPsychoville is rolling along here so far, no one has any chance of catching them realisticly with a seven point lead with three matches to play. Asking anyone else in this group to win three straight matches is about the equivalent of an unranked team winning the World Cup itself. Not going to happen unless Praying2god gets its act together but McPsychoville has already guaranteed they will finish ahead of the top seeds anyway. A for today’s match, going on the road I can’t see Tynelia walking away with a win. The goalkeeping has slipped up slightly from their amazing shutout run of the early part of the tourney and the offense hasn’t been able to pick them up so I think McPsychoville will walk away with a defensive minded 1-0 win.

“Going back to my earlier comment, I believe Quakmybush will continue their see-saw with a loss to underachieving Rordia by a 2-1 score. Praying2god will keep the standings changing with a 2-1 win over the Atheistic Right and Bothen and Krajkovia should play to a 1-1 draw. The result of this mess should find Tynelia dropping to sixth in the group. We can only hope they can continue to raise their game against the top teams and steal a point to stay alive. Rordia seems vulnerable after this and we can hope Tynelia’s experience will let them finally win a match at home as they finish things off against the unranked Quakmybush squad. I think Tynelia will need seven points to get into the World Cup proper so a lot of things need to be going right for them from here on out.”

“OK Anna, that’s all the time we have for now. Tune in immediately after TSW’s coverage of the Tynelia-McPsychoville match for our post game show to see how the latest mess in the Group of Death clears up. Until then this is Sal Spikeman for Anna Dalespin wishing everyone a good night.”

---------------------------------------------------------------
<Meanwhile>

"Yes sir, right away sir. i'll do what i can to get this done." Smith replied as he got off the scrambled secure comm device from Minister Smith back in Tynelia. The offer was accepted, the minister wanted to get these defectors over to tynelia before the bomb testing was completed as the AR was a less than stable government to have such a device. Taking out the crumpled piece of paper in his pocket he made another call and got a machine. lowering his voice Smith left a message.

"This is Doctor Halfra calling, we must meet soon so i can go over your blood test results i have just recieved. There are a few irregularities that we must speak of."

((OOC- so AR what happens to the master plan if you end up qualifying for the Cup? :eek: ))

Spaam

03-07-2006, 21:53

SPAAM SPORTS WEEKLY
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Unlucky Zucchinis Fall By Two

Some controversial refereeing has landed the Waffles way, in a match that
could've easily been a win for the Zucchinis. Rejistanian referee Karela Ikaru
oversaw the match, which started off in normal Spaamanian fashion, with
Crewenna Roskelly scoring in the 30th minute. There weren't many incidents
in the first half, with only the Waffles Germoe Mayne receiving a yellow card.

The Zucchinis looked like they struck back just after the break, Carel Hals
just beating Feoca Arthur, but the referee overruled the linesman and called
Hals offside. Ikaru against overruled the linesman in the 60th minute, but this
time ruling that Trevelyan was not offside, sending Spaam to a 2:0 lead. The
third major incident occurred in the 80th minute, when reserve player Lee
Khiok Heng looked like he scored after a corner. Arthur dived and batted the
ball away, but from replays clearly crossed the line. However, Ikaru ruled
that it hadn't, bringing ire from the Zucchinis, which resulted in a red card to
Heng.

Giant Zucchini held on with only ten men, but the damage had long been
done, going down two goals to nil. Coach Domingo Ferrero couldn't be
reached for comment, but Waffles coach Tamsyn Pengelley had plenty to
say. "We are happy with the win, but not with the way it came about. From
where I was, we should've drawn at best, and we will be complaining with the
Zucchinis about the level of refereeing in such a high level match." Giant
Zucchini and Spaam are two of the oldest football playing nations in the
world.

() Giant Zucchini 0:2 Spaam (4 Roskelly 30; 1 Trevelyan 60)

Belmore Still In Running For Golden Boot

Spaamanian Plijous football god Alan Belmore, is still in the running for top
scorer in the World Cup qualifiers, after a massive four goal haul against
Intyny. This brings Belmore's total to 17 goals from 11 matches, and it
remains to see how many Fmjphoenix's Nolan scores in his match to see
whether he has taken the top spot.

Group 9 Roundup

Anastasiania 1:1 Hockey Canadia
The NSSR 0:0 Raging Penguins
United Island Empires 2:2 Matterbuggy

More good news for Spaam, as the other matches in the group were all
draws. An early goal to Anastasiania was all they needed to pull off a draw
against the visiting Canucks, while the NSSR just could score against the
Penguins resulting in a very exciting scoreless draw. The final match saw
UIE's qualification chances diminished slightly as they could only manage a
draw against wooden spoon contenders Matterbuggy.

Spaam has now all but qualified, having to lose at least two of their three
remaining low ranked home games, and the UIE win all theirs, to be
eliminated. First place is also looking good, with a 5 point lead of the
Canucks, who are in second on 23. Their qualification chances are looking
shaky, only a win and a good goal difference ahead of the UIE. The Zucchinis
are still in the running too, though unlikely, in fourth on 17 points. The NSSR
and Anastasiania are still battling for 5th place on 11 points, and the wooden
spoon is still yet to be decided, with Matterbuggy holding a very slim one
point lead over the Penguins on 6 points.

Group 9 GP W D L PTS GD GF GA G%
Spaam 11 9 1 1 28 20 24 4 86
Hockey Canada 11 7 2 2 23 17 27 10 73
United Island Empires 11 5 5 1 20 5 17 12 59
Giant Zucchini 11 5 2 4 17 1 13 12 52
The NSSR 11 3 2 6 11 -1 16 17 48
Anastasiania 11 3 2 6 11 -8 14 22 39
Matterbuggy 11 2 1 8 7 -25 11 36 22
Raging Penguins 11 1 3 7 6 -9 9 18 33

With Spaam coming out of their tough seven game run looking good, they
now have three low ranked home games remaining. They face Anastasiania
next, whom they beat by three goals last time. The Canucks remain at home
as well, facing the Penguins in an exciting yet cold match, which should see
the home team win, though current performance makes this less certain.
Matterbuggy host the Zucchinis, who need to win in order to qualify, and the
UIE host the NSSR, with the UIE also needing a win.

Goal Scorers

10 (1) Tehta Trevelyan
6 (4) Crewenna Roskelly
3 (7) Jenifer Uren
2 (10) Budeaux Pomre
1 (20) Eseld Retallack
1 (11) Credan Trethewey
1 (14) Mar'h Menadue

History

Spaam 2:1 The NSSR
Hockey Canadia 2:1 Spaam
Spaam 4:0 Matterbuggy
Spaam 2:0 Giant Zucchini
Anastasiania 0:3 Spaam
Raging Penguins 0:2 Spaam
United Island Empires 0:0 Spaam
The NSSR 1:3 Spaam
Spaam 1:0 Hockey Canadia
Matterbuggy 0:4 Spaam
Giant Zucchini 0:2 Spaam
Spaam vs Anastasiania
Spaam vs Raging Penguins
Spaam vs United Island Empires

Wentland

03-07-2006, 22:34

Wentland Times

Barnes-stormer!!!
Greatest ever display as Swifts go nap

Occasionally, just occasionally, one is privileged to be present at a sporting event of such magnificence, such significance, such epoch-making devastation that one wonders if there is any point in ever going to a match again.

It can never, ever be better than this.

The electronic scoreboard at the Warplands did not lie. Wentland 5 Ariddia 1.

It is not the biggest win the Swifts have had. But surely it is the greatest game they have ever played.

And they did it from behind. After a sucker punch in only the fourth minute the Swifts' fans must have feared the worst. Ariddia boasted a proud record of only having dropped 3 points in 9 games. With Wentland's already slim qualifying hopes vanishing what could be done?

Answer: nothing.

Tommy Barnes, marshalling things on the pitch, did not panic. Keep playing the same way, he urged. We'll get them.

And get them he did. Whatever Ian Talbot had before the match I want some. He ran down the right wing like a flying demon and sent in more crosses than a cathedral workshop. With Cooper at the apex of a Christmas tree sending them back for Treves and Barnes a goal was looking more and more likely and in the twentieth it was Tommy Barnes who volleyed home with Fields trying to cover too many options.

There was no stopping the Swifts now. The second also went to Barnes, a through ball from Benny Jones saw Fields move up to get the player-boss offside but Wald had played him on in panic. Barnes seemed to take an age before stroking it home.

Barnesy was on a hat-trick which he completed in the 68th minute from another Cooper knock-down. But that made it 4 as Frank Treves had got off the mark deservedly when Cosmo Kent found his range from a free-kick, only for Leduc to push it onto the bar - whence a predatory Treves had the simplest of tasks.

"We want five!" The crowd was getting greedy and they got what they wanted in the very last minute, a long ball catching everyone unawares and substitute Collins sending the deftest of chips above a desolate Leduc.

It makes no difference. The Swifts will not qualify. Ariddia will be deserved group winners. But for 90 minutes all this was forgotten. We'll always have the Warplands.

Vuam and Isma

03-07-2006, 23:41

Gazetta de'Esporte

A game of two halves. Albeit uneven halves.
Vuam and Isma - 0
Fmjphoenix - 3 (Dougood 14, 42, Nolan 29)

To say that the Whites and Azures didn't really go into the match in a confident set of mind would be to tell a lie. They were not at all confident.

Fmjphoenix are top of the group, and with 9 goals in 2 games, against V&I's 3, they had the killing edge in front of goal by a large margin. But even at the back, Fmjphoenix seemed by far the stronger side. They might have conceded more than V&I, but V&I had suffered a heavy loss against Risa-Aramour, and barely scraped past newcomers Warrior Treblah, wheras Fmjphoenix had trashed the other newcomers, and batted a win against group rivals Schiavonia.

So, when V&I's defence crumbled after only 14 minutes to allow Dougood a tap-in off a deep cross by Ridley Silverlake, whose performance had Regragui and S'baa running in circles, it wasn't really a surprise. V&I fans were already predicting a goal glut, and didn't hope their team could win... If they could contain the 9th team in the world to a 1-0 win, it would be good enough to please them!

But Nolan wasn't having any of that, and after a one-two with Timmett, he brushed aside Brasiviev's challenge to slot the second goal past O'Connor with a gentle instep shot.

However, Fmjphoenix laid off the pressure, seemeing content with the 2-0 scoreline, even though they retained massive amounts of ball posession, playing with the back 3 and the goalkeeper.

Just before half-time, Mik'ala earned a corner-kick when Marc deflected a cross. Playing the cross quickly, Mik'ala surprised the defence, but not Dougood, whose first post header slammed into the roof of the net, above O'Driscoll's head.

Half-time changed the game however, and with Fitzsimons hugging the wings more, he managed to recieve balls from midfield. Then, his ability to hold up the ball was a great assett, as it allowed Vuam and Isma to put more White and Azure shirts than Viking attires close to Keys' goal. However, Keys' performance during the second half was a masterpiece, as his sole presence reassured his defence, and he pulled of some great stops, denying Vuam and Isma a return in the game, despite O'Beirne's introduction for Lidon after 67 minutes.

New Montreal States

04-07-2006, 00:19

Paladins Defeat Lisburn Mateys

Presse-Journal Devoir to mail it in for rest of qualifiers; Archregimancy will be watched & Milchama heckled

NEW MONTREAL - In a close and exciting match, the NMS Paladins narrowly beat off an upset attempt by a talented Lisburn Mateys side, determined to take some sort of trophy from a group dominated by the States and their counterparts over in Andossa Se Mitrin Vega.

But with qualification iced, and the Paladins eight points ahead of the Sea Dragons for the first spot in the group, our reporting staff sent us a snooty memo informing us that they've gone either "to provide moral support to the Archregimancy" or "to throw beer at Milchaman players" instead of watching most redundant matches in what has proved to be a nice, quiet group, with the various upset threats beating it out of each other instead of tackling the leaders like in that group just below us.

So we've received one report indicating: "Advanced levels of spiritual strengthening occuring throughout the Archregimancy today," suggesting that Kaze Progressa has come out on top in a fairly painful manner against our Orthodox friends and former cohosts.

We also received a report stating: "Managed to get coach Jamie Smith and forward Spot Nielson before being escorted from stadium." Two out of three ain't bad, we suppose.

PALADINS 2 - H. Labranche 41, Villeneuve 91
LISBURN MATEYS 1 - Akobyi 66

TOURNAMENT SCORING

Villeneuve 7
H. Labranche 5
Faulkner 4
Pilon 2
Tessier 2
Toussaint 2
Hunyadi 1
F. Labranche 1
Plattsburgh 1

Atheistic Right

04-07-2006, 02:15

There it was the call had been recieved a time and location had been set...

Rabbit told the people around,
"I've got some chores to do downtown. I won't be long" and he left the place where he stayed and went to the meeting place. Not only that he managed to get a hold of a copy of Atheistic Right's nuclear program.

It detailed the current stage of developement. A failed test had already been done and the bomb is being re-designed it would take a few months for the next test... but even then there is no certainty of a successful test. It also detailed how the missile program ties in. If a nuclear warhead was developed.. nearly every single nation in the Atlantian Oceania region could be at risk from a missile launched from the Atheistic Right mainland. Factoring in a potential submarine launch of the missille and no nation could be safe from Atheistic Right's nuclear grasp... There was a list of potential nations to target. Praying2God, New Montreal States, Pastorville, The Archregimancy, Alasadiar I Frosticus and a footnote saying that Tynelia was the first non extreme religious nation to be targetted. And a rant about something related to their Baptism of Fire encounters.

Rabbit was standing in an alley way and there approached a man... Rabbit could see Mr Smith approaching... "ah.. doctor Halfront. Before you tell me about the blood tests I have something to show you."

And he handed the documents over.

((OOC: Consider this a pre-withdrawal from the World Cup proper. I have plans))

Virginia Nova

04-07-2006, 02:41

Virginia Nova 1
Spindomia 2

NOVA RICHMOND- The Eagles struggles continue,this time a 2-1 loss to previously winless Spindomia. The game was played in Nova Richmond in the National "pitch";Ukrops Stadium. he game got started and and at 15:22 Jimmy Hellios had an oppurtunity to score but his penelty kick missed. Spindomia had two oppurtunities to score but both of those. also missed or were caught by Potter. At half the game was tied 0-0,but ten minutes in Spindomia caught a break at 65:09 as Defender Sam Iem was called for a second yellow and thus a red and ejection. This really hurt the Eagles as they are now without ther star defender. Spindomia took advantige of this one man upper hand they had,and scored. After a Harold Freemont goal, Spindomia scored again brining the score to 2-1 Spindomia. And this would be the final. as now the Eagles play Starblaydia at Ukrops Stadium.

Squornshelous

04-07-2006, 04:17

Qualification!

Squornshelous clinches their spot in the finals with a win over Rorysville
Squornshelous played their second truly impressive match, putting up five goals against Rorysville, whom they previously destroyed 6-1. The Moose have simply found themselves totally unable to cope with the Squornshelan attack, being outscored 11-3 in two matches. Vasili Petrov was once again the hero of the day for Squornshelous, almost notching his second hat trick. Iannis Xenakis added a goal of his own, and as the match wore on with the score 3-2, Goran Syvatov and Igor Khabarov would score on the tiring defense to put the match beyond doubt. Until that point, Rorysville had been able to keep it close, staying within one goal for the first 65 minutes. However, the strain became too much, and Squornshelous walked on to qualify for their 24th World Cup, and 15th straight.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 5-2 Rorysville

Squornshelous' Scorers:
V. Petrov: 7
Xenakis: 6
Syvatov: 5
Khabarov: 4
O. Petrov: 3
Harris: 2
Kamaka: 1
Peterson: 1

Qazox

04-07-2006, 05:11

QSPN FOOTBALL WEEKLY

Ben Rottenburger: Welcome to Qazox City and the biggest game in the Black OXen's young history against #3 in the world, Liverpool England.. Vic Ditale..Is there any way for Qazox to pull off the massive upset here?

Vic Ditale: NO.

Rottenburger: That's it? No weird 'With a capital N' or an Awesome or anything else?

Ditale: NOPE.

Rottenburger: Well personally i hope you're wrong, and the match is about to get started:

[Halftime] Rottenburger: and at teh half, Qazox and LE are tied at nil-all. This half probably has been the best played half I've ever seen the Black Oxen play and despite a 64% to 36% time of possession, 5 corners to none, and 8 shots on goal to 1 all in favor of LE, the Black OXen are still in it.

Ditale: I'M JUST ABOUT SPEECHLESS....

Rottenburger: About time. We'll be back after these messages.

[56th minute] Rottenburger: And Gonzalez' shot just deflected off the post and a wated opportunity here early in the 2nd half for Qazox.

[73rd minute] Rottenburger: AND THE ref waves off the GOAL and declares that Bookman was offsides.... WHAT is that guy, seeing here as bookman was clearly behind the last two defenders before the through from Goya.

[88th minute] Rottenburger: and Langer has just scored here off the free kick and this crowd has just been shocked into silence has a very late goal has gone in for Liverpool England and they now lead 1-0.

End of Match: That's all folks and Qazox has its 4 game winning streak snapped and loses a hard fought match frought with a bit of controversy against one of the powerhouses 1-nil to Liverpool England, who clinched a spot into Wordl Cup 29. Up next for the Black Oxen is a trip to Cataduanes and if somehow Qazox wins that match, they will just about qualify for their 1st World Cup. For QSPN and Vic Ditale, I'm Ben Rottenburger.

FINAL MATCH STATS:
QAZOX- 0
Liverpool England- 1 Anthony Langer 88'
BOOKINGS:
NONE

Green wombat

04-07-2006, 05:30

GREEN WOMBAT FREE PRESS

With a new influx of money thanks to the Van Zibni Investments, Ltd.; the 1st game the Wombats played in their newly re-named Van Zibni Stadium, Bostopis was beaten 3-1. Goals scored by Juanita Hess in the 34th and 41st minutes, gave Green Wombat a 2-0 lead they would not give up. Bostopia cut the deficit to 1 as Ossie Loarning scored in the 56th minute, But Hess completed her hat trick in the 67th minute to give the final result.

In other Group 8 Action today, Those Dammned Oxen lost 1-0 to LE as Liverpool England became the 1st team in the group to qualify. Bazalonia and Cataduanes drew 1-1, which helped the Dammned Oxen stay 4 points ahead of 3rd palce Catduanes. Tinsuvilia beat Benlandngdo 1-0.

The Group Standings so far after 11 matches:

TEAM W-D-L PTS GF GA GD
Liverpool England 9-2-0 26 27 6 +21
Qazox 7-0-4 21 21 15 +6
Catadaunes 4-5-2 17 26 15 +11
Tinsuvilia 4-3-4 15 16 16 0
Bazalonia 3-5-3 14 13 10 +3
Green Wombat 3-3-5 12 17 24 -7
Benlandngdo 2-1-8 7 9 22 -13
Bostopia 1-3-7 6 16 35 -19

Sativaville

04-07-2006, 05:36

SATIVAVILLE STONER
We tell you Where the Doritos Are!!

Sativaville has been offically eliminated form World Cup contenion with a 1-0 loss to Horzel. While No one in the world expected the BoF champs to Qualify, a slightly better perfromance was expected. With 3 matches to play, only pride is on the line as the Fritos can still finish as high as 3rd place.

In other action today:
Group 1
Rorysville 2:5 Squornshelous (clicnches Qualifaction Spot)
Anathematic Republics 1:1 Dance 2 Revolution
Marceau State 1:2 Sarvoski

And the standings so far:

Group 1 GP W T L PTS GD GF GA
Squornshelous 11 9 2 0 29 22 29 7
Dance 2 Revolution 11 7 4 0 25 15 19 4
Anathematic Republics 11 5 2 4 17 11 23 10
Horzel 11 4 2 5 14 -8 12 20
Sativaville 11 3 3 5 12 -4 15 19
Marceau State 11 4 0 7 12 -6 21 27
Rorysville 11 3 2 6 11 -11 21 32
Sarvoski 11 1 1 9 4 -17 8 25

Up next for the Fritos is a match against Squornshelous, who may just rest some players as they have qualified.

For the Stoner, I'm Monty Python and wrap it before you tap it.

Dorian and Sonya

04-07-2006, 05:56

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e228/Sonya0111/SylMedCen.png
Unicorns Fall To Top Seed - Again

The guillotine was next to the pitch as the Unicorns entered Elanesse Tulcokelume to face the group’s highest, if struggling, side in the form of mighty Rejistania. You can believe that every member of the squad was aware of its presence and purpose.

And the Mystical Unicorns played as if their lives depended on a great result. And they probably did. But a few things are guaranteed in life. Doctors will overcharge for their services, Lawyers are all liars, and Dorian and Sonya is not in the same class as Rejistania just yet. (or Sarzonia for that matter).

As hard as they played, and despite all the valiant effort, there was actually very little that the Unicorns accomplished in this match. Some measure of respect had been hoped for. Stealing a point or three had been prayed for. Surviving the match at all was a hope. Well at least the final one had come true. We did survive.

But, as expected, Rejistania proved to be too tough for the Unicorns to handle. They easily left the Sylvanaes Kingdom with a 2-0 victory.

Next up are the Group 7 leaders, Sarzonia. And worse it is at their place. They easily outmatched us on our own turf. Nothing has shown that it will not be even worse visiting them.

The surprise of the group thus far has to be Kericia. No one had any sides other than Rejis and Sarz picked to advance from this group. Someone forgot to tell Kericia to pack it in. They have been clinging to the second spot in the group following a win over Rejistania. We had hoped to pass this squad on the table, but it looks like they want the second qualification spot. With just three remaining matches, Kericia is one point ahead of Rejistania for second. Now no one actually knows how things will turn out, but our match with Kericia on MD13 could decide who qualifies and who goes home like we will and try their luck in the CoH.

Praying2God Watch. The Warriors struggled to a 1-1 draw with upstart Tynelia. That draw leaves them sixth on the table. But there is a hope for them despite all the horrid luck thus far. P2G has 13 points so far. 5th place Bothen and 4th place Tynelia have 14 points. 3rd place Quakmybush and 2nd place Atheistic Right have just 16 points. That amounts to 3 points back with 3 matches left to play. But anything can happen. 7th place Rordia has 12 points while 8th place Krajkovia has 10.

That puts seven- yes seven- squads within 6 points of each other with 3 match days left. Whew! This is going to be one heck of a finish. Only McPsychoville looks safe for the moment with 23 points. We wish the Warriors the best of luck as they try to come back and qualify.

Elves Security Forces

04-07-2006, 06:10

Elven Times
Marauders Get Away Result, Still in the Hunt

The Maruaders proved today that they are not just a good home team as they defeated System Karela 4-2 in System Karela. Though the Marauders are still mathmatically still in the race for the final qualifying spot in group 4, the team is being realistic. With games agaisnt Caution and in Intyny and Becquerelia, the team would have to win all three of the games and then have some help in order to qualify. Instead of hoping on hopes, Florintine has set a realistic goal of going 1-1-1 in the last three games and finishing the qualifying run at 6-1-7, a decent record considering the circumstances.

As for the game, the Marauders went up early, and coasted to what turned out to be an easy victory in a hostile enviroment. Kyla continues her scoring spree with another goal, while Zacharius grabbed two and Tatum got one himself. St. Louis had the game off with flu like symptoms and back up Jeft Mathius performed well in his stead. Youngsters Tatum and Rikard continued their good play with each grabbing an assist, and veteran Dwier Titenburg had the other two.

The Marauders next match will be in Longview at the brilliant Angelotic Temple against an extraordinary Cuation squad. The team will be hoping that the sell out crowd for the last home game will help give them the edge against the tough oppenent. With the latest news from the pitch, this is Ron Santapa signing off.

Updated Team Schedule

Win Loss Draw

Matchday 1: Audioslavia 4 V 2 Marauders
Matchday 2: Marauders 3 V 0 Spammanian Plijous
Matchday 3: Haraki 6 V 1 Marauders
Matchday 4: Marauders 2 V 0 System Karela
Matchday 5: Cuation 4 V 0 Marauders
Matchday 6: Marauders 3 V 0 Intyny
Matchday 7: Marauders 1 V 3 Becquerelia
Matchday 8: Marauders 0 V 4 Audioslavia
Matchday 9: Spaamanian Plijous 5 V 2 Marauders
Matchday 10: Marauders 3 V 2 Haraki
Matchday 11: System Karela 2 V 4 Marauders
Matchday 12: Marauders V Cuation
Matchday 13: Intyny V Marauders
Matchday 14: Becquerelia V Marauders

Goal Scorers
Kyla Night - 9
Zacharius - 6
Harden Swent - 2
Nikali Rikard - 2
Victoria Riot - 1
Samuel Tatum - 1

System Karela V ESF
(4') Night
(21') Zacharius
(51') Zacharius
Vladik Vasiliv (65')
(74') Tatum
Vladik Vasiliv (86')

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

04-07-2006, 06:40

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg
Sea Dragons Complacent, Drop Points to Yafor 2

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from Yafor 2

The Sea Dragons traveled to third seed Yafor 2 after the Golden Wolves had been hammered by NMS. Add to that a bit of complacency on the part of the Sea Dragons following a massive win of our own and the table was set for a big ASMV disappointment.

And that came in the form of a very boring 0-0 draw with Yafor 2. Nothing else to say about that.

And now things are looking a bit more interesting. The Footie Dream Team has now pulled to within 5 points of the Sea Dragons for the second spot. Statistically that keeps them in the hunt, and we will have to keep an eye on them. But they play NMS on MD13 before playing us on MD14. It will be tough for them to climb that hill.

And even more interesting is the fact that ASMV now has to face all the upset specials in the group. Lisburn Mateys, Geisenfried, and Footie Dream Team - in that order. Luckily all three matches are at Stadii Se Draggonnii Arcea. Home pitch should be enough to see us through and into the World Cup. NMS has already punched their ticket to the dance.

Friends Watch.

Cuation drew Haraki 1-1. That leaves our Cuation friends 3 points behind Bequerelia for the second spot.
Tadjikistan crushed Kirstiriera 4-0 and easily leads their group
Dorian and Sonya fell 0-2 to Rejistania. We wish the Unicorns good luck in the CoH.(Sorry Honey)
Milchama fell 0-3 to Chicanada and will join D&S in the CoH in all likelyhood. (Sorry Guys)
Ariddia decided to actually lose one today. And Wentland took advantage 5-1.

The Archregimancy

04-07-2006, 07:40

OOC: Obviously I don't know what's being planned, but just in case something relevant is in the works, can I just take a moment to point out for the benefit of Atheistic Right that - as has been established through roleplays dating back to 2003 - it would be flatly impossible to target a Dreamed Realm nation with a missile launched from AR. The Archregimancy and Alasdair I Frosticus exist outside 'ordinary' NS reality. Anyway....

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

WORLD CUP TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden-Throated

"Ahhhhhhhh..............."

"Why, Fr. Nicholas, that sounds like a satisfied sigh!"

"Why yes, Fr. John, I feel most spiritually refreshed and restored!"

"And why's that, Fr. Nicholas?"

"What, other than starting everything we say with 'why'?"

"You just started that sentence with 'what'."

"Why, so I did, Fr. John!"

"Ooooh, you started again."

"Enough of that! Don't you want to know why I'm feeling spiritually refreshed and restored, Fr. John?"

"Whether I do or not, I'm sure you're about to tell me, Fr. Nicholas..."

"I have been meditating on the life of The Holy Hieromartyr Theodore, Bishop of Cyrene, whose life we comemmorate today. The martyr lived during the reign of the emperor Diocletian (284-305). Skilled at writing, and having attained great skill in calligraphy, he transcribed many books for the churches. His son Leo denounced him to the district governor, Dignianus, saying that his father possessed Christian books and was turning people away from idol worship, and bringing them instead to faith in Christ the Savior. St Theodore was brought to trial. Many Christians followed after him, including the women Cyprilla, Lucia and Aroa. The holy bishop was ordered to surrender his books and renounce Christ, but he refused this demand. They beat him with rods, but St Theodore was not intimidated. With a fiery zeal for the truth he destroyed the pagan sacrificial offerings. They tortured him for a long while, cut out his tongue, and then threw him in prison where he died. Also put to death were the women Cyprilla, Lucia and Aroa, and all who had accepted holy Baptism from the holy bishop."

"Marvellous, Fr. Nicholas, but this is World Cup Tonight, not Mighty Martyrs"

"Ah, Fr. John, but was not Saint Theodore mercilessly persecuted for his faith? Was not St. Theodore tortured for defending our Lord and Saviour? Did he not seek to destroy the pagan sacrificial offerings? Was his soul not strengthened through his suffering in what superficially appeared to the heathens to be defeat?"

"I think I see where you're going with this....."

"As it was with Saint Theodore, so it was with our brave footballing lads yesterday against the vile heathen excelites of Kaze Progressa - a team we had never previously lost to in confrontations dating back to World Cup 24 qualifying. The Progressan squad mercilessly persecuted our faithful team on the field of play, their forwards tortured our defence despite our crying our to our Lord and Saviour, we failed in our attempt to destroy the pagans' sacrificial offerings, and every soul in our nation has been strengthened through our suffering in what superficially appeared to the heathens as defeat"

"Therefore, Fr. Nicholas, while we may have lost 3-0 on the field of play, in truth this was a mighty victory for the entire Archregimancy!"

"Absolutely, Fr. John. We should not be downcast - we should celebrate this day!"

"So despite slipping to third, failing to score for the fourth time in five matches, and with an inferior goal difference and goal scored total to the two leading teams, Fr. Nicholas, we...."

"Should rejoice that our souls have been strengthened through suffering!"

"Hmmmmm - you may be right there, Fr. Nicholas. But with only Third England, Tessan, and Iaukea to come, I have a horrible feeling our souls are going to get a whole lot stronger in the coming days unless we can finally score some goals...."

Northern Caesarea

04-07-2006, 08:07

Warrior Treblah 1 Northern Caesarea 1

25. Víctor **

2. Ferrer **
21. Perea **
15. Molinero ****
22. Ibañez **

14. Caminero *
13. Vizcaíno *
6. Begines **
18. Zeamendi ****

7. Bermúdez *
9. Alcántara ****

The crack
Alcántara
The tricolore striker gave a new lesson of sense of opportunity and anticipation, stealing the ball to the Warrior Treblah goalkeeper and scoring the goal.

The dandy
Zeamendi
The veteran left winger is living a second youth with the national team. His dribbling and excellent passes were among the best in his long carreer. A pity that nobody took profit from them.

The tough guy
Molinero
"The butcher" was very efficient in defense, but he also honoured his nickname, sending two Warrior Treblah players to hospital. The referee was to benevolent and he didn't recieved any carton from this actions.

Not his day
Caminero
Unable to stop offensive game on his wing, neither to starting or collaborating in attack.

Warrior Treblah- Tricolores are showing an alarming conformism in their last matches, against teams they had to beat if they want to be in WC29 final phase. After the goal by Alcántara (m.33), the team decided to practice "catenaccio" and resist the Warriors offensive against Víctor's goal. Only Zeamendi and Alcántara tried to score more goals.
But conformism in sports is not a wise tactic. You expose yourself to get less than expected, in form of a rival goal in m.88.
National team coach, Paco Antequera, must claim to players a more combative spirit, as we are still alive in the competition. Northern Caesarea hasn't any reason to conform itself with a new participation in Cup of Harmony.

Fmjphoenix

04-07-2006, 09:32

Nolan leads Vikings over the Fighting Norris's, still remains top scorer throughout qualifying

With the match drawn 2-2 and the closing minutes of the matchup coming to a close, everyone knew who the ball was going to go to. Despite everyone in the arena knowing where the ball was going, there was no way to stop it. Like a hero coming in at the last minute, Mike Nolan delivered in the 90th minute to give Fmjphoenix the much needed win heading into the final three matches of World Cup 29 qualifying.

Goals and shots were few and far between, as both teams were trying to hold the ball for as long as they could keep it, obviously trying to avoid another 8-1 blowout. Nolan struck the first goal 20 minutes in after a nice combination of passes with the final pass leaving the foot of Laura Boyd. Chuck Norris himself responded though, in the closing minutes of the first half, using his superb roundhouse kick to send the ball flying past Justin Keys to even up the teams.

In the second half, Jack Russell would come in and replace Selphie Timmett and also give Fmjphoenix a 2-1 lead 4 minutes into the second half. The Chuck Norris didn't waste any time equalizing the match back up, splitting Kayla Mik’ala and Brian Bash to get alone against Keys and roundhouse another fireball into the net. Even though he didn't waste any time, it was 15 minutes AFTER Russell put the Vikings up. That appeared to be the fated outline until Nolan's goal in the 90th minute righted the sinking ship.

With the Vikings victory and Schiavonia falling to Vuam and Isma, Fmjphoenix are just 1 point away from the group lead. With only home matches remaining, Fmjphoenix looks to be in a good situation. Northern Caesarea is up next. See you back in Vanguard!

Mr Chuck Norris 2 - 3 Fmjphoenix

Chuck Norris 45, 64 - Nolan 20, 90, Russell 49

World Cup 29 Qualification
------------------------------------------------------------
MD01: Fmjphoenix 5 - 1 Zychibastan
MD02: Fmjphoenix 4 - 2 Schiavonia
MD03: Vaum and Isma 0 - 3 Fmjphoenix
MD04: Fmjphoenix 8 - 1 Mr Chuck Norris
MD05: Northern Caesarea 1 - 1 Fmjphoenix
MD06: Risa-Aramour 2 - 1 Fmjphoenix
MD07: Warrior Treblah 1 - 5 Fmjphoenix
MD08: Zychibastan 0 - 4 Fmjphoenix
MD09: Schiavonia 3 - 2 Fmjphoenix
MD10: Fmjphoenix 0 - 1 Vaum and Isma
MD11: Mr Chuck Norris 2 - 3 Fmjphoenix
MD12: Fmjphoenix ? - ? Northern Caesarea
MD13: Fmjphoenix ? - ? Risa-Aramour
MD14: Fmjphoenix ? - ? Warrior Treblah
------------------------------------------------------------
Record: 7-1-3 | 36 - 14
------------------------------------------------------------
Goal Scorers:
M. Nolan - 18
B. Dougood - 6
J. Russell - 4
S. Timmett - 3
R. Silverlake - 3
A. Jenkins - 2

Jeruselem

04-07-2006, 12:45

RK: Rachel Kool
AG: Anna Goldstein

RK: Good morning this is Rachel Kool at the World Cup 29. With me is famous JGN reporter Anna Goldstein who's covered so many World Cups, it's not funny. She also happens to be my mother
AG: Good to be back on TV, this is Anna Goldstein for JGN.

RK: First let's round up the results for Group 6 where the Lions and Ians reside
AG: The Lions are seeking to make the finals again while the poor old Ians just want to make an impact.

RK: Nedalia or the Lions, not the Bedistan Lions, won another game keeping 2nd spot behind the rampant Tigers. They won a really crucial game today.
AG: The Lions beat The Kazoo Peoples 2-0. The Kazoo Peoples are a threat and this is an excellent win for the Lions.

RK: The Ians are nearly gone. They lost to Ozzelia 0-2 and well, falling too far behind.
AG: They had a good start but faded at the end. So sad, but they will learn and be stronger for next world cup.

RK: Group 9 looks interesting Mum
AG: Hockey Canada seems to gone off the boil, with another draw against Anastasiania. No wins for last three games and the others are pouncing. The Canucks need some late wins for secure their position now.

RK: Our group 14. And one big shock.
AG: Indeed Rachel.

RK: Firstly the Jeruselem are back on the charge. Elrich tried to hinder the Crusaders but they got pushed aside 2-1 by the superior team on the day.
AG: Not the best of wins, but 3 more points for kitty. Jeruselem are 2nd and putting distance themselves and everyone else except Ariddia. Ariddia are one point ahead due to shock of the group.

RK: My goodness Artoonia won again! Khenas slipping and Khenas crashing, losing to Artoonia. Not just a narrow loss, but they got crashed 3-0 and I think they are gone
AG: Yes, I agree. Khenas and Artoonia have far too many losses. The form of the top 3 don't give them much chance and they both have bad goal difference anyway.

RK: Mahaliastan sneak into 4th with the help of Jeruselem beating Elrich. Well, they were playing Sliponia who seem to wearing slippers.
AG: Looking at the cursed 4th spot, it's just one big merry-go-round. Honestly, I cannot see the top 3 changing in personnel just the order.

RK: Ariddia, had a really bad day. Jeruselem beat Wentland twice but Arridia have troubled Jeruselem lately. This is a shock.
AG: Wentland destroyed Ariddia 5-1. I didn't expect such a scoreline against Ariddia. Wentland are really trying but it's down to the top 2 to maintain the rage. Wentland will the close to 2nd but can they steal it? Down the last games.

RK: Summary of Group 14. Ariddia hang onto 1st after losing to Wentland. Jeruselem close the gap and the others are looking like going home save a miracle. Wentland are 2 wins behind 2nd and well, can do it but Jeruselem or Ariddia has choke first.
AG: That's what I would of said too Rachel.

RK: This is daughter and Mum signing off for JGN. Keeping it all the family. JGN, the family news network!
AG: That's unless you watch Rachel play tennis (laughs)
RK: Mum, my skirt isn't that short

Group 6
The Kazoo Peoples 0:2 Nedalia
Ozzelia 2:0 Iansisle

Group 9
Anastasiania 1:1 Hockey Canada

Group 14
Elrich 1:2 Jeruselem
Wentland 5:1 Ariddia
Artoonia 3:0 Khenas
Mahaliastan 2:1 Sliponia

Group 14 GP W T L PTS GD GF GA
Ariddia 11 9 0 2 27 13 26 13
Jeruselem 11 8 2 1 26 18 25 7
Wentland 11 6 2 3 20 14 29 15
Mahaliastan 11 4 2 5 14 -10 10 20
Elrich 11 3 4 4 13 -2 12 14
Artoonia 11 2 3 6 9 -8 13 21
Khenas 11 2 2 7 8 -12 7 19
Sliponia 11 0 5 6 5 -12 7 19

And Spaamian stats
GOALS = 26

Strikers (16)
Takahashi Masurashi 5
Geoff Shout 4
"Druggie" Bob Dopan 1
Keanu Reeves 2
Robert Hoot 4

Midfield (10)
WB Tree 0
Olmat Masha 1
Smaski Duboski 1
Carrie Fisher 1
Penny Handi 3
Debbie Dallas 4

Defense (0)
Cain MacBeth 0
Able MacBeth 0
"Stumpy" Moshe Gonda 0
Penny Gadget 0
Joseph Hermit 0
Ima Blocka 0

Tadjikistan

04-07-2006, 13:52

'Hello, viewers, I am Simon Orlitsa, your host and with me is Bahrom sadirov, probably the most succesful coach the Tadjik Tigers have ever had. Hello Mr Sadirov'

'Hello, Simon, you may call me Bahrom.'

'Well then Bahrom, lets start with the most important event of the past few days, the death of Mr Zaev, a great loss for the Tigers?'

'Definitly, The Tigers may be playing one hell of an excellent campaign, it doesnt change the fact that he was a skilled coach, who deserved his spot in the hall of fame together with men like Isserson.'

'And yourself.'

'Ah, com'on Simon, You know I dont what to put myself in any halls of Fame.'

'Would it have been a different qualification campaign, had Mr Zaev still been around?'

'I dont know, He has a different style as a coach. Not as offensive minded as Monhakyiev, but I think we could have reached the same results with Alexander.'

'And that brings us to the good news. The Tigers crushed Kirstiriera 4-0, on Kirstirieran soil. The first Tadjik victory with 4 goals difference. Two goals by Tulberdiev, one by Zyrianov and a penalty by Elisarov.'

'As I just mentioned, the Tadjiks have gone back to their old style, offensive. It reminds me of the days of Salenko and Pliiev when I was still coach. We've always had a crappy defense, yes crappy, just face it, when you concede two goal against a side like Ozzelia you cant speak of a good defensive line. So its in the offense that the fruits of victory are, for the Tadjiks atleast.'

'Is that the future of Tadjik football then?'

'Its not only the future, its also the past and the present. Cherniakhovskij, seventy years ago, scored 54 goals for the Tigers, in a time when we were a unknown side, new to the World Cup scene. We've always been a nation of strikers, rather than defenders. The only exception is the goalkeeper, we've always had a good goalkeeper. Sometimes, they were all that stood between a Tadjik victory and a loss.'

'Offensive play seems to be the formula to win the World Cup.'

'I wouldnt say that, but we could reach those quarterfinals as we did once before or even better semi-finals, thats what we have to set as goal, its realistic and atleast there's not too much pressure on the shoulders of our players. And even if we dont get there, we should be happy with every victory. Thats how we, my brother and I, did it.'

'well there's nothing to complain right now. We won and we are qualified, not matchematicly, but Molvania has to win three matches and we'd have to lose three, which is most unlikely. And even in that event, we have a much better GD.'

'And the Molvanians get to visit Dushanbe and see the Isserson Stadium.'

'Would you recomend offensive play?'

'Sure why not, we have a strong team and the advantage of playing at home.'

'Would you dare to predict a the outcome.'

'I dont like predictions, but for once I'll do it... and we have to keep thinking positive so I'd say, Tigers win 2-0.'

'Personally I prefer a 6-0 win, but I guess 2-0 is good enough.'
'Thankyou for being here, Mr... Bahrom, this was sportweekend with Simon Orlitsa.'

Fixtures:
MD1: Tadjikistan - Iansisle W 3-0
MD2: Tadjikistan - Nedalia W 2-0
MD3: The Kazoo Peoples - Tadjikistan L 1-2
MD4: Tadjikistan - Kirstiriera W 4-1
MD5: Molvania - Tadjikistan W 1-4
MD6: Ozzelia - Tadjikistan W 2-4
MD7: Dicuban - Tadjikistan W 0-3
MD8: Iansisle - Tadjikistan W 2-3
MD9: Nedalia - Tadjikistan W 0-1
MD10: Tadjikistan - The Kazoo Peoples W 3-0
MD11: Kirstiriera - Tadjikistan W 0-4
MD12: Tadjikistan - Molvania
MD13: Tadjikistan - Ozzelia
MD14: Tadjikistan - Dicuban

Tadjik Topscorers
Tulberdiev - 12
Zyrianov - 8
Berzarin - 5
Elisarov - 4
Nabiyev - 1
Yarygin - 1
Maximov - 1

Giant Zucchini

04-07-2006, 15:32

Dear diary,

Ah well, another blow to any hopes of me keeping this job...it's been a disappointing 2 World Cup qualifiers for me...ah well, might as well enjoy what is left of my career here...maybe I can even salvage qualification...and more importantly my job. Wins in the last 3 matches are crucial now...

It's been fun while it lasted...

D

The Giant Zucchini Department of Statistics and Other Useless Information Presents:
Top Scorers
7 Carel Hals
2 Yoshikatsu Nakamura
1 Arturo di Zampieri
1 Jacob de Verkerk
1 Pablo Perez
1 Vicente de Silva

Bettia

04-07-2006, 15:51

When you're halfway through a major tournament, it's easy for a nation to get carried away by their team's excellent progress and the Blessed Realm of Bettia is no exception. In towns, cities and villages throughout the country, sports fans are proudly sporting the green and gold in support of their beloved Aroras, willing them on as they strive for glory on the world stage. This is no more evident than in the Pie and Pixie, whose denizens are sat around their usual table, sipping on their usual cups of tea whilst digesting the latest round of results, along with a choccy biccy or three.

"Wow... I still can't believe it. I mean, just look how well we're doing." said Ali, spilling crumbs all over the place as he did so.

"I know, just check out these scorelines... 7-1, 8-0, 9-0, 9-3, 10-2." sighed George, wiping a patriotic tear from his eye. "Makes you proud to be Bettian, huh?"

"Yeah, sure does... if only our footballers played as well as our ice hockeyers."

"Yeah.... um, 'hockeyers'? Is that even a word?"

"I dunno. Who cares? How are our boys doing anyway?"

They look up at the big screen to see the Bettian players trudging off the pitch after a rather dour 1-1 draw at Legalese.

"One-one? Well that doesn't do us much good at all, does it? I mean, where does that put us now?"

"Still third, with three games to go. I tell ya, if we don't win all of those, it's the Cup of Harmony for us."

Ali and George shuddered, recalling Bettia's 4-0 humiliation at the hands of Turori in the final of the last CofH they participated in.

"Ah well, at least all our games are at home now, and at the noisy places too. That oughtta help a bit."

Ali tutted. "The way our lot are playing at the moment, I wouldn't be so sure." And then he gasped. Putting his hand over his mouth in shock, he muttered "Something's wrong here, terribly wrong."

George looked confused. "Eh? What are you talking about?"

"It's you!" he replied pointing at his friend.

"What?!"

"You! You're the reason why our boys are doing so crap! I mean, just look at you, sitting there having just watched the ENTIRE match with us."

George groaned. "Oh, you're not going to lay this whole we-lost-cos-I-got-here-on-time malarky on me again, are you? You know that's just a load of superstitious nonsense."

"Is it? IS IT?! The first time it happened, we got tonked 4-0 at home to Pacitalia. Then, just a few matchdays ago, you're here nice and early, an hour before kick-off, munching on your stack of meat pies, and what happens? Bettia 0 Starblaydia 4! And now... hang on, where did you get those meat pies from anyway? I thought the entire city was still sold out after that invasion of Starblaydi dwarves."

"Ah!" said George, tapping his nose knowingly. "I just happen to know a friend who has a friend on the inside, if you know what I mean. There's plenty more where that came from - I mean, how do you think this place managed to get their hands on some?"

"Oh." said Ali, nodding. "Oh!" An idea had just flashed into his head. It wasn't a brilliant idea, because he didn't do brilliant ideas - it was the principle of the thing, or so he said. He rushed up to the counter and whispered into Doris' ear.

"Here, Doris. You haven't got any out-of-date meat pies, have you?"

"Out-of-date meat pies? Well, yes I have, I was just about to throw them out, but why do you ask?"

"Never mind that, I've just had a brilliant idea to make sure Bettia win."

"I thought you didn't do brilliant ideas."

"I don't do brilliant ideas? Why do you think that?"

"Well, it says so a couple of paragraphs up."

"O-kay, this is getting very bizarre now. Have you still got those pies or not?"

"Yes. I suppose I could let you have them."

"Perfect. Thanks Doris." he said, taking them over the George, who had been sat watching them with some confusion. "Here you go mate."

"What's this?"

"It's your lunch for tomorrow. Make sure you eat them all up, okay?"

"Okay! See you tomorrow. COME ON YOU 'RORAS!"

Ali smiled as he waved his friend off. So far his plan was working - get George to eat those pies, George gets food poisoning, George spends the best part of tomorrow on the toilet, George turns up late for Bettia's crucial match against Harlesburg... nothing can go wrong. He smiled, before bursting into a fit of near-maniacial laughter that rang through the Pie and Pixie, and indeed most of Pifton (well, the High Street anyway).

Thanks to his masterstroke, Bettia's place in the World Cup finals had been assured.

Nothing could go wrong... or could it?

Fixtures & Results

MD01: BETTIA 2-0 Spindomia (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)
MD02: Starblaydia 2-0 BETTIA (Sports Hall, Karak D'Ragh)
MD03: BETTIA 5-1 Sexy Games (Al-Fath Stadium, Sukatra)
MD04: BETTIA 1-1 Legalese (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)
MD05: Harlesburg 2-3 BETTIA
MD06: Virginia Nova 1-1 BETTIA
MD07: AwalKB 0-2 BETTIA
MD08: Spindomia 3-5 BETTIA
MD09: BETTIA 0-4 Starblaydia (Alice Street, Butetown)
MD10: Sexy Games 1-1 BETTIA
MD11: Legalese 1-1 BETTIA
MD12: BETTIA vs. Harlesburg (Stamping Ground, Lorshill)
MD13: BETTIA vs. Virginia Nova (Al-Fath Stadium, Sukatra)
MD14: BETTIA vs. AwalKB (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)

United Island Empires

04-07-2006, 16:50

GK - 1. Sam Hardcliff

RB - 2. Mike Gard
CB - 6. Jonathan Turner
CB - 5. Joshua Caines (c)
LB - 3. Paul Shively

HM - 4. Chris Knapp

RM - 7. Dale Donavon
CM - 8. Martin Perea
CM - 9. Curtis Windham
LM - 11. Jacob Burd

CF - 10. William Gyten

Stats Central

Top scorers:
1. William Gyten - 12
2. Curtis Windham - 2
=3. Martin Perea - 1
=3. Dale Donavon - 1
=3. Joshua Caines - 1

Yellow/Red Cards

1. Jonathan Turner 3/1
2. Paul Shively 4/0
=3. Joshua Caines 3/0
=3. Chris Knapp 3/0
5. Paul Shively 1/1

Northern Caesarea

04-07-2006, 17:21

1. Cuéllar

17. Heredia
4. Capdevilla
15. Molinero
22. Ibañez

24. Novo
8. Ríos
16. Movilla
18. Zeamendi

20. Toledo
9. Alcántara

Called in:

25. Víctor
21. Perea
13. Vizcaíno
6. Begines
7. Bermúdez
23. Salmerón

Haraki

04-07-2006, 18:30

"Listen up, boys," Lloyd Vargas growled. He was angry. Angry because, after such a 'successful' trip to the World Cup last time, they were playing like shit. Angry because they had fallen from second to sixth in the group. Angry for a whole lot of reasons.

"I'm angry. For a whole lot of reasons. Number one is you're playing like shit. Fuck, we got beat 3-2 by a side that's never even tried to qualify before? A bunch of damn elves are ahead of us in the rankings? Look, no offense to elves, but they've never had a very long history of football, eh? Here's the deal. We're the last team in the running in our group. Everyone below us has been knocked out. We can technically still grab a victory, if we do this one simple thing: Win.

"If we win our last three games, we will rise nine points and barely scrape by a second-place spot, provided Becquerelia doesn't win. Ever. If they win, we lose. If they beat Cuation, we lose. Good news? Cuation's playing well. We beat them 5-3 last time, got held to 1-1 this time, and we only got that thanks to the heroics of your team captain. Hopefully they can beat Becquerelia. We play them too. If we lose, we're out. If we draw, we're out. If we win, we're still in the running. We play Plijous and System Karela after that. Last time we got a draw and a loss. Last time was unacceptable. If we get a draw, we're out. If we get a loss, we're out. Are you understanding me at all?"

The team murmured their assent, nodding their heads. Vargas sighed. "Look, we're not supposed to be some sixth-place team. We're fucking Haraki! We've been in this cup longer than most of the people out there! We finished third while they were considering independence from their 'great oppressors'! We can win! We can beat them! But it all comes down ... to you. I can't play the games for you. I can't ... poison the other teams, or shoot their coaches, or something. I'm not going to. It's down to you. Play like I know you can play.

"By the way, we've now outperformed how we did in any other World Cup qualifying in goals. We have more than we've had in any other run. That is all.

"Also, there's a fairly high chance I'll get sacked if we don't qualify. C'est la vie."

They disbanded, now dreading their trip to Becquerelia more than anything. The fate of the entire team was resting on that one game. The hopes of the entire nation were resting on the team. And it all came down to a string of three games in which Haraki had to win and Cuation and Becquerelia had to lose. It was going to be a tense three weeks.

One Red Dot

04-07-2006, 21:19

QUALIFIERS CLOSING, ORD WITH SLIM CHANCES
5 July 2006
by aSWORD.org.rd

As if we are seeing history repeating itself, ORD has scraped in third in the group, with only three games left. ORD was popularly seen as a team of newbies, supported only by the fact that they have been previous giants. However, their play has shown that the team is in there to win, and not only just there to fill that extra space. Now, ORD is repeating what their struggling forefathers had to chase in the early days of the World Cup.

But even in such tight competition, surprises still abound.

The win against The Macabees, even for the home side at Royal Burrington Stadium at One Red Dot, was surprising to most. The Macabees first goal in the 28th minute sent loud voices of jeers of home supporters to the opposing side, but it was their quick passes and sudden header which sent Akihito SEHINA's reflexes jarred for a split second. A split second which gave away a goal led by rather skillful play. One Red Dot was left goal-less until the 76th minute where Ben Jerrison BANDER scored one below the bar, just almost out of reach by the Macabee keeper. Peter BRACK, with spirits boosted by the equaliser, sealed the fate of The Macabees with the winning goal, just 5 metres from the posts.

Another shocker occured yesterday with the Dingzanwan's goal at the 63rd minute by substitute Vencedor which sent One Red Dot in a collapsing downwards spiral. The previous goals by BANDER of One Red Dot and Pearsons KARAMUKU of Dingzawa had amounted to nothing for this match, as it was now One Red Dot's turn to re-equalise the score. However, the atmosphere was all for the Dingzanwans at the Gweridijong City Stadium until the final whistle, with the Dingzanwans returning home with wide smiles.

Today's match against GarfieldtheFat at their home stadium was simply revenge for the Wolves, for the draw that they had given them last week. The Wolves, eager for another win, clearly dominated the 198th side, but it was some wide shots and a couple of yellow cards which prevented a larger score difference. Substitute Mark WRENNING scored the only goal in the 23rd minute.

The last 3 games will be vital for the Wolves if they are to proceed to the World Cup. The following matches against TnUI, Spruitland and The Macabees might prove difficult. The fact that all three games are away games might help support the fact that it would be even impossible to qualify. But a couple of high-scoring draws, and then perhaps another win against The Macabees might just see One Red Dot just scrape through to their first World Cup ever since their sudden departure for international football 2 cups ago.

There are no more home-side matches and so, ORDTIX would not be selling tickets for these matches. Channel 5 will also have a live broadcast of all three matches at 5.00am (TnUI match), 7.00pm (Spruitland match) and 2.00am (The Macabees match), with repeat times for the TnUI and The Macabees matches at 10.00pm on the same day.

Becquerelia

04-07-2006, 21:55

And we turn back around to see what's behind us:

http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/audioslavia.gif Audioslavia - 2__________1 - Becquerelia http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/becquerelia.gif

BULLS ON PARADE
Audioslavia Comes To Becquerelia And Beats Black Cats

ROENTGEN(JNS) - There was some hope, coming into the game, that Becquerelia could earn another upset. They had done it before, going into Audioslavia and beating the bulls on their home turf.

That 1-0 defeat, off of a Daniel Abigantus goal, has been the only hiccup in what has proven to be a extremly successful run to the World Cup Finals for Audioslavia. That defeat was the Bulls only loss, and they sat a whole eight points ahead of the second place team in the group, Becquerelia.

"Everyone in the world thought that the victory against Audioslavia was bit of a fluke, the result of a team so much better than just about everyone in it's group having a off day. And no offense to our guys, but that's probably right." said Coach Mark Crescentini after the game.

Like the first game against the two teams, it was a hard fought battle. Audioslavia struck first with a goal in the 20th minute on a free kick by Midfielder Dietmar Rachmaninoff. Becquerelia would tie the game up at the 37 minute mark on a header by Razak Khalef off of a crossing Paul Annunziata pass.

The second half picked up right where the first half left off, when Sebastian Fiori scored in the 49th minute. This proved to be just too much for the Black Cats, and they couldn't make up the difference, and Audioslavia walked off the field with their 10th victory, and a guaranteed Group 4 victory plus advancement into the World Cup proper.

"How much can you really read into this loss? They are the best team in the group, by a wide, wide margin," said Daniel Abigantus after the game. "Right now, we've just got to worry about Cuation, Haraki and Elves Security Forces."

Becquerelia's Current Results and Upcoming Schedule
Home Team Last
WIN DRAW LOSS
MD01: Spaamanian Plijous - 1 Becquerelia - 0
MD02: Becquerelia - 2 System Karela - 1
MD03: Becquerelia - 1 Intyny - 2
MD04: Becquerelia - 1 Audioslavia - 0
MD05: Haraki - 0 Becquerelia - 1
MD06: Cuation - 2 Becquerelia - 0
MD07: Becquerelia - 3 Elves Security Forces - 1
MD08: Becquerelia - 0 Spaamanian Plijous - 0
MD09: System Karela - 0 Becquerelia - 2
MD10: Intyny - 1 Becquerelia - 3
MD11: Audioslavia - 2 Becquerelia - 1
MD12: Becquerelia (6-1-4) at Haraki (3-3-5)
MD13: Becquerelia (6-1-4) at Cuation (4-4-3)
MD14: Elves Security Forces (5-0-6) at Becquerelia (6-1-4)

Becquerelia's Goal Scorers

Daniel Abigantus - 5
Gregory Conveniencia - 3
Razak Kahlef - 2
Niceaus Annunziata - 1
Paul Annunziata - 1
Thomas Strazzabosco - 1

Wentland

04-07-2006, 22:25

Sliponia away. After the decimation in Wentland Tommy Barnes was anxious to keep his team on an even keel. Especially as one slip would be fatal to the last lingering World Cup hopes. 3 games to pick up 6 points. With the teams above having easy matches. Meh.

But let's amass points for the rankings. So it was the same side that destroyed Ariddia. With the sole exception of Len Newton replacing Steve Moon; the burly Newton could look after himself much better than the cultured Moon. Plus he owed Maitland a favour after their unexpected defeat of Warpstone more or less secured yet another title for Crowhurst.

Iansisle

04-07-2006, 23:02

"Well, Sam, I'd say that the Ians put forward a quality effort against Ozzelia today, but that would be a bald-faced lie."

"Indeed it would, Jay. Eliminated for all intents and purposes against Nedalia, Iansisle came out today and played like a team resigned to the Cup of Harmony."

"Well, Sam, paint me red and call me a barn. That's the most insightful thing I've heard you say since qualifying began."

"I have to admit that your fit of passion yesterday ignited a certain spark in me, Jay."

"Are you sure this new feat of football mania has nothing to do with the Gulls' manhandling by the Ice Terminators or their heartbreaker loss against Bettia?"

"Absolutely positive, Jay. I'm a new man. However, until further notice I'm still rooting for the Tigers."

"Back to the game! -- Truman seemed to be playing his roster for the Cup of Harmony, giving several of the starters the day off. Feckless replaced Abernathy in goal, John Futile of Clyfton went for Copplestone at striker, and Albert Porous of Ianapalis took Brandt the Elder's place in the defensive line."

"If nothing else, Jay, at least we saw a quicker-paced game than the Ians usually play."

"True enough, Sam. The new legs seemed to reinvigorate the Ians, leading to longer runs. Alas, the younger players never seem to have actually played a game themselves but rather just watched them. I saw more rookie mistakes in the first ten minutes than I did in all of the previous games put together."

"Yep."

"*cough*"

*whisper* "Erm, Jay, it's your turn to say something witty to end this thing"

*whisper* "Damn it, Sam, I've had to do all the previous ones! This one is yours!"

*whisper* "Fine!"

"And now, with something witty, here's Sam St. Pierre!"

"Ahem. OH NO! JAY, LOOK! THE VALERIANS ARE INVADING!"

*sound of a chair being knocked over*

"Where? Sam, I don't see them. Sam? Sam!?"

*silence*

"Well, folks, I guess it's up to me. You've been listening to Jay McYule and 'Toothless' Sam St. Pierre's football wrap-up on IanCorp Wireless National. Tune in next time?"

Sliponia

04-07-2006, 23:15

Slips Don't Get It
Sliponia National Team haven't even seen Mahlistan practice once.

KRYTENIA/CASARI--Slips want to know how. How can this team be so awful? No one has even seen Mahaliastan practice other than on the pitch right before the match starts. How can the team be so bad? The answer has been discovered by reporters from Jeruselem. It appears that Sliponian players have been wearing slippers not boots when it comes time to play matches. Why? No one knows.

Perhaps their luck can change and they can win a match...Doubtful is they continue on wearing slippers.

Sliponia WC29 Scorers
11 Gerald Parenteau (3)
23 Andrew Williams (2)
10 Jason Finley (1)
25 Keith Grey (1)

Sliponia WC29 Results
Sliponia vs. Jeruselem [L: 3-0]
Sliponia vs. Khenas [D: 0-0]
Sliponia vs. Ariddia [L: 4-0]
Sliponia vs. Mahaliastan [L: 1-0]
Sliponia vs. Wentland [L: 3-2]
Sliponia vs. Artoonia [D: 1-1]
Sliponia vs. Elrich [D: 1-1]
Sliponia vs. Jeruselem [D: 0-0]
Sliponia vs. Khenas [D: 1-1]
Sliponia vs. Ariddia [L: 3-1]
Sliponia vs. Mahaliastan [L: 2-1]

Sliponia WC29 Clean Sheets
8 Mike Davis (2)

Schiavonia

05-07-2006, 00:24

The Schiavone Scribe
Group Two gets tense
Vuam and Isma 3-2 Schiavonia

Three games to go, and all to play for as Schiavonia's defeat in Vuam and Isma meand that just a single point seperates the top three in World Cup 29 qualifying Group Two.

To be fair, there was only one team in this one, Schiavonia still looking like the side that struggled to get past Zychibastan in their previous game, while Vuam and Isma were more like the outfit that overcame Fmjphoenix last time out. Some wonderful counter-attacking play saw of Schiavonia and puts doubts as to whether or not our boys are going to make it to the finals.

The score flattered the sloths, who once again looked sluggish and clueless going forward, using sheer numbers in their attempts to score as opposed to skill or anything like that. Even when Tony Tarmey headed home an equaliser midway through the first half to make the score one-all, the men in orange and dark red still didn't look like getting anywhere, and that was eventually where they got.

Fitzsimmons, Brasiviev and O'Driscoll each put the finishing touches to superb passing moves for the home side, although this was just for three of the times they broke away. If it wasn't for some great positional play from Oliver Park and some poor finishing, especially from Fitzsimmons, who didn't look his usual self on the day. Not that it mattered. If one player has an off day, the other ten can make up for it. If ten have an off day, one is going to struggle.

Even Tarmey's late goal that some might have thought would lift the sloths was really nothing more than a concelation. Three-two to the home side, but it really didn't reflect the superior quality of their play as it says.

Schiavonia must now be considered the outsiders of the top three now, going into the final three matchdays. Vuam and Isma are in amazing form, and it would be a shock not to see them pass at least one of the teams ahead of them, while Fmjphoenix, though not in the best of form, play the bottom three sides in the group at home. Schiavonia's three final games are at home, but their form is also poor and they are playing against better teams than the vikings on the whole.

Who'll make it? Now it's anyone's guess. Still, we might have a chance of holding on to the Cup of Harmony...

Final score
Vuam and Isma 3 (Fitzsimmons 17, Brasiviev 29, O'Driscoll 68)
Schiavonia 2 (Tarmey 22, 89)

Our top scorers this campaign...

Tony TARMEY 9
Jermaine EDWARDS 7
Paolo DI MASCHERENASI 3
Kenny SANDERSON 2
Andy McGEE 2
Eric BERRY 2
Gareth MARSDEN 1
Jack HOLMES 1
Seamus BRADLEY 1

and our record...

MD1: Schiavonia 6-1 Warrior Treblah
MD2: Fmjphoenix 4-2 Schiavonia
MD3: Schiavonia 4-2 Zychibastan
MD4: Schiavonia 0-0 Vuam and Isma
MD5: Mr Chuck Norris 0-2 Schiavonia
MD6: Northern Caesarea 0-3 Schiavonia
MD7: Risa-Aramour 0-3 Schiavonia
MD8: Warrior Treblah 0-0 Schiavonia
MD9: Schiavonia 3-2 Fmjphoenix
MD10: Zychibastan 2-3 Schiavonia
MD11: Vuam and Isma 3-2 Schiavonia
MD12: Schiavonia v Mr Chuck Norris
MD13: Schiavonia v Northern Caesarea
MD14: Schiavonia v Risa Aramour

Casari

05-07-2006, 02:31

Your RPs? CUT OFF.

Quakmybush

05-07-2006, 03:09

Quakmybush Inching Closer

The Quakmybush national soccer team won 3-0 over Rordia, to jump into 2nd place in their qualifying group. Ryan Fret scored 2 goals, and Mike Martin scored one. Quakmybush can clinch a birth into the World Cup proper if they defeat Bothen, and Praying2God loses to Krajkovia. Bothen sits in third, but they can not catch Quakmybush if they lose to Quakmybush tommorrow. However, if Bothen does win, Quakmybush can still catch them, if Quakmybush defeats Tynelia, and Bothen loses to Mcpsychoville. These next two matchdays will be very,very,very exciting.
Quakmybush Remaing Games

vs Bothen
vs Tynelia

Goal Scorers For Quakmybush
Jon Fields - 5
Cory Sorley - 2
Andrew Plett - 2
Ryan Fret - 2
Mike Martin - 1

The Archregimancy

05-07-2006, 03:39

[OOC - let me state for the record, ooc, that in fact I rather like Casari, and that none of the below should be taken seriously - though other nations should feel free to run with the RP if the mood so takes them]

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

WORLD CUP TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden-Throated

"Nil-nil? NIL NIL? Against EAST LITHUANIA?"

"Now calm down, Fr. Nicholas...."

"I'm perfectly calm, Fr. John. But what in Christ's name do we have to do to score?"

"Erm.... I'm fairly certain you might just have committed blasphemy, Fr. Nicholas...."

"I'll confess to the appropriate authorities. But look at the last six matches....

versus Third England: 0-0
versus Iaukea: 0-0
versus Milchama: 2-1 - Praise be to God
versus Chicanada: 0-2
versus Kaze Progressa: 0-3
versus East Lithuania: 0-0

Here we are, top seeds and favourites to qualify, and we can only manage nil-nil draws against the eighth, seventh, and fifth seeds in the group, while crashing spectacularly against the third and fourth seeds. What does that suggest to you?"

"I thought you were all in favour of soul-strengthening suffering, Fr. Nicholas? I thought our failures against inferior opposition were a cause for celebration for the entire nation? That's what you've been saying the last couple of matches, anyway.... And we did beat Milchama. Twice."

"Forget Milchama. And forget soul-strengthening suffering. Isn't it obvious what's happening here, Fr. John?"

"Our forwards couldn't score in a brothel? Not that they'd go anywhere near one except to cast our the sinners, mind."

"No, I'll tell you what's happening here, Fr. John.... It's a Catholic schismatic plot. An attempt to tear down the One True Church. A subtle ploy by the seductively friendly Casarans to recreate the Fourth Crusade on the field of play. It seems we aren't the only people to remember 1204.... It's all pefectly clear to me now... the false sense of security engendered by making the Archregimancy the Official Icon Providers of World Cup 29... the apparently easy early victories.... all to make us feel safe and secure.... and now the schismatic enemy seek to cast us down through mere jealousy - just because we don't acknowledge the authority of that hell-bound masonic fraterniser in Rome."

"I'm not sure I entirely agree, Fr. Nicholas. Leaving aside the canonical position of the Bishop of Rome for a moment, New Montreal States are coasting to qualification, and Magnus Valerius are in with a surprise qualification chance. It's not as if all of the Orthodox nations are suffering.... And besides, we're only one point behind the heathens; if Chicanada get at least a draw against the foul excelite Progressans, we still stand every chance of going through...."

"SILENCE! I cast thee out from the broadcasting booth! Enough of this sympathy towards heretics and heathens! Enough of this false ecumenicism! Now is not the time for weakness! We must gird ourselves for the coming spiritual battle! We must prepare for Tessan and Third England by returning to the traditional monastic values of prayerful reflection and intolerance of any deviation from Orthodoxy! We can still overcome this evil Catholic plot yet! It is time to unleash our ultimate Orthodox weapon.......

A LARGE COLLECTION OF HOLY RELICS! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA"

Qazox

05-07-2006, 04:00

QSPN FOOTBALL WEEKLY

Ben Rottenburger: Due to the match being in Cataduanes, QSPN could not broadcast the Black Oxen's away match, but we do have the final score CATADUANES 1-QAZOX 1
The Black Oxen get a measure of Revenge as they stay 4 points ahead of Catduanes for the 2nd qualifying spot. With 2 matches left, Qazox has is best chancd ever to Qualify.
Here are the Current Senarios:

Qazox beats Bazalonia- Qazox In, Cataduanes out no matter the result.
Qazox Loses to Bazalonia, but Cataduanes loses- Qazox In, Cataduanes out
Qazox Draws w/ Bazalonia, Cataduanes draw w/ Tinsuvilia- Qazox in, Cataduanes out.

So this next match could send the Black Oxen into the Cup.

For QSPN I'm Ben Rottenburger.

FINAL MATCH STATS:
QAZOX- 1 Alicia Gonzalez (8) 66'
Cataduanes- 1 Butch Sacario 39'
BOOKINGS:
Yellow:
Qazox: Megia, 47'; Bookman 56', Gonzalez 88'
Cataduanes: Echevarria 70', Boqueron 85'

Rejistania

05-07-2006, 10:52

From the Takil Party Newsletter

Unicorns lose to Tahiakan'ny

The Tahiakan'ny defeated Dorian and Sonya by the scoreline of 2:0, despite this match being an away game. The Lasane however did even in this match suffer from the tactical inversatality of the "maniac". Their 5-4-1 is too predicatble and too less attacking. It did work against the Unicirns, but that is because their defense was worse than the attack of the Lasane. Against every good team, the Lasane can score only with great luck and by needing lots of chances. Syku Lyku Sikane'tes is not in the same class as SyLy or SyMji or maybe Xeseja Su. Leting him play as lone striker is insanity, it's as simple as that. I Hetaki'he however is worse, no doubt about that. One day, the Tahiakan'ny will run out of luck and then, they are out of qualification.

Dorian and Sonya 0 - Rejistania 2 (Lyku'he Sikane'tes 37th, Kameril'he 79th)

Rejistania

05-07-2006, 11:13

Offical press announcement of the Asene Sekhika Rejistaniha:

Seletarakeledira Hanselijimijile fired

The national coach of the Rejistanian national team has been fired after the latest horrible match, which gives the Orange-Blues only a tiny chance to go through. The Asene Sekhika Rejistaniha decided that the time of "System Jesejil or nothing" is definitely over after it ceased to bring results. President SyMji has decided that Warning, variable not found! will take over this position on temporary basis. If the Orange-Blues beat the odds and qualify, his position will be permanent. President SyMji decided to change the manager during halftime of the match against Kelse, where the Orange-Blues were trailing 0:2. What he exactly said can not be quoted for explicit content.

Rejistania

05-07-2006, 11:38

Another press announcement from the Asene Sekhika Rejistaniha:

Sorry for the inconvenience

The last press announcement was sent a bit too early and so the name of the future rejistani national coach was not entirely clear. The future coach of the Rejistanian Orange-Blues will be the bazalonian Eric Frankton (transliterated version of this name: Erik Verankiton*). The Bazalonian will be the first coach of the Orange-Blues, who does not hail from Rejistania. Since however the last matches are not against the Bazalonian team, this is not a problem, to think of currently. He has coaching experiance at the Bazalonian club: Drago FC in the BSFA-league. His tactical preferences are said to be more System Hank~hilan than "maniac"'s.

SyMji was delighted that someone was willing to take this job, where one most likely can not gain glory but only disgrace. Eric Frankton has little knowledge of rejistanian, but did try to speak a bit in this language: "xe'hadada, Junis-Omeh'ny mi'ikay 'viki, milhan kely'het ve kemji'het."

* please note that this was written in Rejistanian letters.

OOC: I would like to ask for a 0 modifier in my last matches before elimination

Ariddia

05-07-2006, 11:52

Ariddians recover from shock loss

The Rouge-et-Noirs have held on to a narrow lead in Group 14 after hosting Elrich and giving a far more convincing performance than against Wentland. The reasons for Ariddia’s unexpected loss after a string of victories remain the topic of much debate, although clearly one of the main factors was the skill of Wentland’s players. Several Ariddians had complained of stomach pains a few hours before the match, but they seemed fit enough at the start of the game, so it appears Wentland cuisine cannot take the blame to any significant extent for this debacle.

The team were therefore understandably keen to make up for their mistakes, and reassure both themselves and their country. Melenciuc lined up the usual starting ten, with Kyaw, on pregnancy leave, being replaced by Uha Teh. The coach stated firmly that he saw no reason to cease trusting his best players.

So eager were they, in fact, that the Ariddians began the match with a powerful surge forward, seemingly intent on scoring in the first moment, and on repeating Ta I’s thirteenth-second goal against Jeruselem. A pass from Sanjeeb to Eosh saw the midfielder race up the field, taking an as yet unprepared Elrich defence by surprise, until, as she slowed very slightly to aim a kick, defender Bingo caught up, barrelled down upon her and knocked the ball away in extremis, conceding a corner kick. The kick was well saved by Elrich’s goalkeeper Gordon Burns, and the ball sent flying into Ariddia’s side of the field. After an exciting first opportunity, the game was underway and the Ariddians seemed full of energy, or maybe just determination.

It was Ramirez who scored the first goal, in the sixteenth minute, to the cheers of home fans, who were seeing their team in top form once more. Elrich equalised with Spinks in the twenty-ninth, but the Ariddians were having none of it. They pressed forward with increased attacks, until in the thirty-fifth minute Elrich midfielder Banks played the player instead of the ball to stop Ariddian attacker Ul U half a metre away from the penalty box. Banks’ feet slammed into the side of U’s right ankle, and the stadium erupted in angry shouts of protest. Back on his feet, U took the free kick, which was saved by Burns.

Five minutes later, in a reversed situation, Ariddian defender Tim Wald tackled King Elrich, sending him sprawling, but this time the referee indicated it had been a clean tackle, despite cries of protest from the Elrich fans. On replay, there appeared to be a slim case for allowing a free kick, but the referee had been close by enough to make up his own mind, and did not allow Elrich’s status as royalty to influence him. Wald sportingly helped the King back to his feet, and patted his shoulder in a friendly gesture of apology.

In the second minute of injury time, John Sanjeeb finally brought Ariddia back into the lead, and it was an unchanged – and confident – squad which took to the field for the second half of the match. The Rouge-et-Noirs played a little more defensively, but kept up their forward playing enough for Ul U to make the score 3-1 in the seventy-second minute. With three new points, Ariddia remained at the top of Group 14. Excited supporters will be hoping for another six points in the two upcoming matches, but, in any case, qualification is now a certainty. Third-placed Wentland is nine points behind Ariddia, and cannot hope to catch up. It remains for Ariddia and Jeruselem to battle it out for the top spot.

Elsewhere, Squornshelous inflicted a 6-0 thumping on a dazed-looking side from Sativaville, Rejistania suffered a 0-2 defeat against Kelse, remaining in third place in Group 7, and Andossa Se Mitrin Vega secured their position with a 3-1 win over Lisburn Mateys.

Jeruselem

05-07-2006, 13:15

Jeruselem Government News

Wentland slip over Sliponia while faves steamroll on!

Wentland had hope for 2nd spot, after beating Ariddia 5-1 but you'd expect them to beat the team who wore slippers before some Jeruselem chicks told them so. Sliponia vs Wentland - looked one-sided? NO. Sliponia put on the boots and held Wentland to a draw. This really helped the top 2 as a team like Sliponia are not expected to hold out a team who score 5 goals against the 27th seed? Wentland wasted chance after chance and Sliponia got a point. The real impact was a happy Ariddian and Jeruselem team.

Ariddia rebounded with style with their horrible loss. They laughed aside the problem and sent Elrich packing 3-1 as if there was no problem. This enabled them to keep top spot from the wolf pack called Jeruselem. Just can't see Arridia slipping now, as they are all class.

Jeruselem score a scrappy 2-1 over a dismal Khenas who can't seem to get any continual form. Not vintage Jeruselem who subbed off most of the stars when game was won and juniors had some fun in the sun. Still 2nd and 1 point behind Ariddia. The Wentland threat is fading as Jeruselem gain two more points to 8 and that's 3 wins required for Wentland (assuming Jeruselem lose more games).

So Wentland wore the slippers today, not Sliponia. Ariddia 1st, Jersuelem 2nd and Wentland are 3rd. The others might as well think about World cup 30.

Group 14
Sliponia 0:0 Wentland
Ariddia 3:1 Elrich
Jeruselem 2:1 Khenas
Mahaliastan 2:1 Artoonia

Group 6 - poor old Ians. They got Kazooed to death 2-1 by <you know who> and well, go home really. Death by Kazoo is bad, really. We think Kazoo playing fans didn't help the Ians concentration on the pitch at all. The Lions took on rival Kirstiriera, but no one claimed the prized 3 points. In fact, no team scored at all. Advantage to the Lions still despite dropping 2 expected points when they need them now.

Group 6
Iansisle 1:2 The Kazoo Peoples
Nedalia 0:0 Kirstiriera

Spaam are holding off Hockey Canada. They won't let go top spot after beating Anastasiania 2-1 as while the Canucks finally won a game after 3 games. The Raging Penguins are no easy beats and a hard fought 1-0 win broke the drought. Canucks 2nd and they can only beat themselves really. Now, will the Spaam team do the impossible?

Group 9
Spaam 2:1 Anastasiania
Hockey Canada 1:0 Raging Penguins

OOC - The usual

GOALS = 28

Strikers (16)
Takahashi Masurashi 5
Geoff Shout 4
"Druggie" Bob Dopan 1
Keanu Reeves 2
Robert Hoot 4

Midfield (11)
WB Tree 0
Olmat Masha 1
Smaski Duboski 1
Carrie Fisher 1
Penny Handi 3
Debbie Dallas 5

Defense (1)
Cain MacBeth 0
Able MacBeth 0
"Stumpy" Moshe Gonda 0
Penny Gadget 1
Joseph Hermit 0
Ima Blocka 0

Tadjikistan

05-07-2006, 14:01

Its official: We are in!

Dushanbe - The Tigers had nothing to worry about, their place in the group was safe and these last few matches were considered friendly rather than official qualificationgames. Tadjikistans opponent for today was Molvania, a fairly new team in the international scene and still in the running for a ticket to Krytenia/Casari, for them it was an important game.

The Tadjiks were relaxed and a bit surprised when the first Molvanian rush came, immediatly after the game had started. Offcourse we should have known it, Molvania would try to put pressure on the Tigers and go for those three points. Leaving Tadjikistan without them would be a dissapointment.

Piotr Monhakyiev still wanted to experiment a bit and put Rahmon Nabyiev behind Zyrianov and Tulberdiev in Berzarins place. Quite a good choice, as Nabyiev gave a few good passes to Tulberdiev and Zyrianov, one of those leading to 1-0 and even made his own attempt at scoring in the thirty-seventh minute, hitting the left pole.

The second half was similar to the first and saw the now desperate Molvanians increase their attacks on the Tadjik box, fortunatly, a strong Suchomlinov kept the Molvanians at bay. The Tadjik defenders in the meantime helped out their collegues in the offense and forced Molvania to drop back, they had little other choice as their team became exhausted in the last fifteen minutes. For the Tadjiks the signal to strike and finish the game. Maximov rushed along the sideline and tried to give an assist to Tulberdiev in the center, the shot was deviated by a Molvanian defender into Elisarovs feet, but his shot bouced of a Molvanian leg. Gyurza scored his first goal for the national in the rebound and set the final score: 2-0.

A satisfied Tadjik coach left the lockerrooms and was more than willing to comment his teams performance :'Our enemy was strong and motivated, which is understandable in their situation, they still have a chance to qualify and they should try to get every point they can, even here in Dushanbe. I wish wish them luck in their last games, they'll need it. The Tigers on the other hand, have had some luck in the past. Though much of their succes, they achieved by playing like professionals.'

Tadjikistan 2-0 Molvania
Zyrianov 33', Gyurza 81'

With only two matchdays to go, we take a look at our friends in other groups:
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega took three points in a 3-1 game versus Lisburn Mateys and is qualified with 7 points more than The Footie Dream Team.

Our regional neighbours The Macabees won 2-3 in Carlitistia. they are third in group 5 with 20 points but they could still qualify, they need atleast four points and maybe their (already positive) GD to get past Total n Utter Insanity. Though it wont be easy with two games in One Red Dot and Swilatia coming up.

Krajkovia, led by Tadjik Daniel Gurchev lost to Bothen at home, 1-3 and they are last in group 12.

Fixtures:
MD1: Tadjikistan - Iansisle W 3-0
MD2: Tadjikistan - Nedalia W 2-0
MD3: The Kazoo Peoples - Tadjikistan L 1-2
MD4: Tadjikistan - Kirstiriera W 4-1
MD5: Molvania - Tadjikistan W 1-4
MD6: Ozzelia - Tadjikistan W 2-4
MD7: Dicuban - Tadjikistan W 0-3
MD8: Iansisle - Tadjikistan W 2-3
MD9: Nedalia - Tadjikistan W 0-1
MD10: Tadjikistan - The Kazoo Peoples W 3-0
MD11: Kirstiriera - Tadjikistan W 0-4
MD12: Tadjikistan - Molvania W 2-0
MD13: Tadjikistan - Ozzelia
MD14: Tadjikistan - Dicuban

Tadjik Topscorers
Tulberdiev - 12
Zyrianov - 9
Berzarin - 5
Elisarov - 4
Nabiyev - 1
Yarygin - 1
Maximov - 1
Gyurza - 1

Dorian and Sonya

05-07-2006, 14:31

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e228/Sonya0111/SylMedCen.png

Fate Not Kind To Mystical Unicorns

Queen Sonya Sabre sat right next to the guillotine, but she was not even thinking of using it on the match that was coming up for the Mystical Unicorns. She knew that the match the Unicorns were far out matched by the squad that they where to be playing. The guillotine was simple there to remind the girls that they had better give it all that they got or there would be repercussions beyond what they would ever imagine.

The game was very fast paced and it went by quickly, at least for the young girls who where trying to keep up with Stars. The Unicorns were not effective when it came to the scoring side of the match , but they did do good to keep the Stars down on there scores they hold the Stars to only two goals scored , for the Unicorns that was pretty good and the Queen was happy for the results to have been so low.

The Stars won the match 2-0 but all things considered it could have turned out a lot worse off if the girls did not keep the Stars from scoring like they have before against other squads.

Next up for the Mystical Unicorns will be Kericia we can hope for the points from a win but right now all the Unicorns want to do is get there rightful spot of fourth back from kelse who is holding on to it for a bit.

Praying2God watch they won there match against Atheistic Rights 1-0 way to go that moves them up to a tie for fourth place with A R and just one point behind Bothen for the third spot , Quakmybush still holds onto second place with nineteen points which is only three points up. Good luck and hope you get you place back.

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

05-07-2006, 14:38

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg

Drama Is Done For Group 11

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from Stadii Se Draggonnii Arcea.

The drama was all set to race for the final day of qualification. The Footie Dream team were the surprise of Group 11, passing Lisburn Mateys, Geisenfried, and Yafor 2 in the standings. If they could keep up their run, and the Sea dragons struggle with the upset capable sides of Lisburn Mateys and Geisenfried, things would be very interesting.

But the drama is over early for Group 11. ASMV made sure of that as LM came to visit and received a 3-1 thrashing from the hosts. The Footie Dream Team had a chance to stay alive but failed to capitalize and only managed a 1-1 draw with Ulyanovia. Those combined results mean that the Sea Dragons will join New Montreal States in World Cup 29.

The scoring for the Sea Dragons came from Leena Draghi (54), Ali Devincenti (58), and the first goal of the qualifiers from Porche Alexander who made what was supposed to be a cameo appearance in the final five minutes. Amazingly her ankle seems to be fine and she showed everyone present that she is back as a real threat. She scored easily in the 89th minute.

NMS easily handled Geisenfried 3-1 as they continue to dominate Group 11 play. And still our only loss of the qualifiers was to the Paladins, just like their only loss was to our own Sea Dragons.

Friends Watch:

Cuation could not afford the 0-3 loss to Elves SF that happened today. That puts them in 4th place, 4 points behind Bequerelia and 2 behind Elves SF.

Tadjikistan handled Molvania 2-0 and has Group 6 wrapped completely up

Dorian and Sonya lost to Sarzonia 0-2.

Milchama earned a 2-2 draw with Kaze Progressa.

Ariddia downed Elrich 3-1 and still hangs on to 1st by one point over Jeruselem.

The Islands of Qutar

05-07-2006, 15:50

To Qualify or not To Qualify

Yes its that time again, never an easy ride on the nerves qualification. Last night we could have put some distance between us and Magnus Valerius, but after a suprise early lead Magnus Valerius almost would have had the lead on us, but the veteran Ali spared our blushes in the Stadium of Light. With only two matches left and us level on points who knows what will happen.....

Sarzonia

05-07-2006, 15:50

Woodstock Daily Mail

Ryan Calvin

Stars on the verge

5 JULY 2006 -- For a team that looked as vulnerable as it ever has at the start of World Cup XXIX qualifying, the Sarzonian national football team took "a giant step" toward its 11th consecutive trip to the World Cup proper with a 2:0 win over Dorian and Sonya in front of a sold out crowd of 51,347 at Bryan Marshall Stadium in Woodstock, according to Coach Mark Wingate.

"Our work isn't done by any stretch of the imagination," Wingate said. "Rejistania are still in play only two points out of second place, and we're only three points clear of Kericia for the group lead. We're in a favourable spot, but we're not in the clear by any stretch."

The Stars (8-3-1, 27 points) put on a performance that ranked with their best in this World Cup by all accounts, clearly outclassing the Mystical Unicorns in every phase of the game but the score sheet. A dogged defence kept Sarzonia from pouring on more than the two goals Steve Jacobson put past goalkeeper Daniella Riskin.

"I could have had a hat trick if it weren't for Riskin," Jacobson said. "The important thing is that we won the match and we're in the driver's seat for a spot in the World Cup."

Much was made at the start of World Cup qualifying that the Stars would be in rebuilding mode after two consecutive group stage exits and a roster featuring no players with prior international experience. In fact, the only people directly involved with the action on the field with any World Cup experience were assistant coaches Brian Wilson and Horace Sandt, both of whom cast large shadows over Sarzonia's footballing legacy.

However, this team certainly hasn't played like World Cup neophytes during any stage of this World Cup qualifying round. It starts in goal with Frank Talbot making some newer fans forget about Roger Treadway, who is still trying to round into form with a minor league side after a torn ACL, but it also continues through the rest of the squad.

"They haven't looked even slightly nervous, not even at the onset of qualifying," Wilson said. "They looked like a team that's been on the world stage before and that's the most gratifying part of this whole experience."

Not half as gratifying as seeing Sarzonia's perennial bogey team Rejistania possibly miss the World Cup proper for the first time in memory. The Orange-Blues fired manager Seletarakeledira Hanselijimijile after their latest result put them five points behind Sarzonia for first place and two behind Cinderfella team Kericia for a spot in the finals. The players won't say it on record, but a source familiar with the team's thinking said the team would "probably" celebrate more if the Orange-Blues are sent packing.

That didn't stop anyone at The Brig in Portland from celebrating Sarzonia's latest result or the Orange-Blues collapse. Three people were arrested and charged with disorderly conduct after the Group 7 results came in. While the players may demonstrate caution, that doesn't mean the fans have to.

"I know there's two matches left, but if we can see the Orange-Blues eliminated, that'd be great," said Kenny Ridge, 21, a university student at Somerset University in Oswego, Somerset, a hamlet roughly 50 kilometres outside Portland. "That means we won't have them to end our dream early."

Chicanada

05-07-2006, 16:11

Chicanada Daily Rabbler
Where Proper Analysis Goes To Die

Clinch!
Malli's Peoples Take Top Slot, Heading to KC

Eastentown - Malli does it again.

And who would have thought it?

After a close call in WC28 Quals, the Chicanada Orange Stars (and now we absolutely love the name) lock up a Finals spot with a 3-0 trouncing of Iaukea, that combines with the 3-0 knock-off of Milchama and the 2-1 upset of The Archregimancy. Michael Klobee scored a lovely hattrick in the match.

So, our lovely OSers are up to 30 points without a loss. Yes, we've somehow won nine games in a qualifier and while we still have given away 15 goals, it's not completly hurt us but Yerevan Malli is expected to use the upcomming home matches with Kaze Progressa and East Lithuania to help begin setting the final starting lineup. The Stars are currently seven points ahead of Kaze with two games left, meaning the Chicanadan side will officially finish first in Group 13 - which we humorously dubbed the Group of Death for Quals. Kaze, at 23 points, is only one ahead of The Archregimancy as they fight for the final slot with Milchama, expected early on as the favorite to win the group, sitting back at 15 points and just barely being eliminated from Qualifying.

Leading Scorers:
8 - Michael Klobee
7 - Malacki Uroals
4 - Damarus Bastian
4 - Niam Washington
3 - Livingston O'Mier
1 - Helen J'ian
1 - Alex Hedlon
1 - Adam Smith

Official Chicanada Schedule
MD01- W 3-2 Tessan (Starburst Park, Spears Crossings)
MD02- W 4-2 Third England
MD03- T 0-0 The Archregimancy (New Governess Palace, Kinsington)
MD04- W 4-2 Milchama
MD05- W 3-2 Iaukea (Sacred Heart Terrace, Bishop)
MD06- T 1-1 Kaze Progressa
MD07- W 2-1 East Lithuania
MD08- W 2-1 Tessan
MD09- T 2-2 Third England (Mountainside Fairgrounds, Castille)
MD10- W 2-1 The Archregimancy
MD11- W 3-0 Milchama (TroutCo Field, Cana)
MD12- W 3-0 Iaukea
MD13- v Kaze Progressa (Southampton National Square)
MD14- v East Lithuania (Cananite Pavillion, Paradiso)

In more international news, Risa-Aramour is fighting for pride in the final two probable thrashing games after a 2-0 victory over Warrior Treblah at Eden Stadia in Rosa City. Olani's side now heads off for a probable road trip from hell against Fmjphoenix and the ever friendly and reliable and awesome and very very curtious Schiavonia on 17 points, well out of the Finals but, with some luck and probably magic pixie dust the team could indeed sneak into the top four in the final standings.

Yes yes, we know that won't happen, but hope can always spring eternal.

Tynelia

05-07-2006, 16:52

Fat Lady Preparing Her Tune

In a result that seems to have stopped surprising Tynelian fans, the team was once again shut out 1-0 to group winners McPsychoville. Combined with the continuing Quakmybush surprise run from the unranked team buoyed by yet another win things are very grim for Tynelia's chances. Trailing the newcomers by five points with only two matches left Tynelia must win out and hope for nothing better than a Quakmybush draw in their next matchup. That of course leveas Tynelia with only three other squads to then find some way to jump past. Already this is being called Tynelia's worst World Cup run in their brief history, worst than even their initial try at the Cup.

Fans are reportedly turning on the team and rumor has it that the final home match with Quakmybush may not even be sold out despite the potenitial implications in that match.

---------------------------------------------------------------
<meanwhile at the meeting>

"Are you sure about this?" Smith asked he he read the documents in growing horror. Knowing what the answer was Smith knew he had to get word to Minister Smith immediately.

"Oh as for your bloodwork, you'll be happy to know that everything is just fine and our scheduled checkup will take place as we discussed earlier. If you'll excuse me i need to pass this breakthrough to some of my medical collegues."

-----------------------------------------------------------

<Tynelia Ministry of Intelligence>

"I see" Minister Smith replied cooly as he studied the rapidly faxed documents "This will be troublesome." Pushing a button on his desk he said. "Jenkins, come in here please."

"Sir?" Jenkins replied as he arrived.

Taking the documents which he had copied in the time it took for Jenkins to get here the Minister announced "Jenkins send a copy of this over the secured lines to all the nations listed here so they can be made alert to the potential trouble. Make certain they know not to act until we can confirm the exact location of the testing so they are not alerted or given time to move the operations."

"Yes sir," Jenkins replied before seeing one name and paused "Sir we have no way of contacting the Archregimancy, there are no communication lines there."

Frowning Smith glared a hole in his subordinate, "They are in the World Cup are they not?"

"Yes sir."

"there is press coverage of the event is there not?"

"Yes sir."

"Congratulations you're now part of the Tynelian press corp who will be covering their next matches. Get there, get them the papers. Do you have any other excuses for not passing the rest of the messages?"

"No sir."

"Good then go." As Jenkins stumbled out of the office Smith shook his head sadly knowing that Jenkins was far too incompetant to gain the rank of Smith in the ministry. Still expendable agents were always at a premium. Shrugging to himself Smith moved on to the next issue on the agenda. Determining whether Coach Greg Tudor was a sabatoeur seeking to derail tynelia's soccer efforts.

Giant Zucchini

05-07-2006, 17:46

Dear diary,

Well, the guys put up a fantastic performance today against Matterbuggy. Carel as usual building on his fantastic goal tally, while Genrikh putting a brace in, really challenging for the position currently held by Jacob, who's out injured of course. Well, if we keep this momentum, Anastasiania next shouldn't be a big problem. Qualification looks really really slim now, so I'll just focus on ending this campaign on a high. Hopefully I can hold out till at least the Cup of Harmony.

I'll miss this job...
D

The Giant Zucchini Department of Statistics and Other Useless Information Presents
Top Scorers:
9 Carel Hals
2 Yoshikatsu Nakamura
2 Genrikh Akayev
1 Absamat Chekhov
1 Arturo di Zampieri
1 Jacob de Verkerk
1 Pablo Perez
1 Vicente de Silva

New Montreal States

05-07-2006, 18:06

Cathédrale St-Jean-Baptiste, New Montreal, 0730

"ALL the relics, your Holiness?"

"That's what was the request was for. Even the spurious ones."

His All-Holiness Patriarch André I of New Montreal and all the Midlands had just fielded a request from his old friend the Archregimand, politely requesting the loan of various relics in the Cathedral in return sending several dozen icon painters to decorate the new cathedral being built in the Protestant bastion of Aylmer that would, hopefully, call the benighted heretics to the One True Faith. He was now trying to get various incredulous lesser clergy to assist him in this task.

"They really want St. Basil's old blanket from his childhood? Umm...your Holiness."

"Yep, even that. Now let's get moving, they wanted them as quickly as we could."

With infinite precautions and reverence, the various relics in the cathedral were gently removed, carefully stored, and sent off to be put to a use that would probably make their original owners spin in their graves.

Spaam

05-07-2006, 18:20

SPAAM SPORTS WEEKLY
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Waffles Qualify

The Waffles have qualified, with an easy two nil win over Anastasiania. In a
match where the visitors never seemed to trouble the former World Cup
finalists, coach Tamsyn Pengelley got to try out some of the less used
members of the national squad. Especially encouraging was the performances
of Eseld Retallack, the 17 year old striker, Howel Nepean in the midfield, and
Meraud Perrin in defense. Substitute keeper Sowena Prisk also did admirably
during the first half of the game.

Some of the more regular members of the team were kept off in the first half,
including top scorers Trevelyan and Roskelly, but Anastasiania had no
answers. Their defense and keeper were run ragged, while the Spaamanian
defense showed why they are currently the third best in the world. Pengelley
strengthened the forward line in the second half, it paid off in the 52nd
minute, when Uren scored beautifully from 20 metres out. The visitors tried
desperately to answer the Waffles, but the home team didn't let up, and put
the game away with a second just before full time.

(7 Uren 52; 4 Roskelly 87) Spaam 2:0 Anastasiania ()

Group 9 Roundup

Matterbuggy 0:5 Giant Zucchini
Hockey Canadia 1:0 Raging Penguins
United Island Empires 0:0 The NSSR

In other games, Giant Zucchini had a case of too little, too late, as they
embarrased Matterbuggy at home, bringing in five goals. The Canucks were
lucky to scrape away with a win, a late controversial goal enough to defeat
the visiting Penguins. And the UIE have almost blown their chances of
qualification, unable to score in a nil all draw against the NSSR who had
nothing to lose.

The win has cemented Spaam's qualification, and all but their top spot in the
group, while Hockey Canadia has almost claimed a World Cup spot as well.
UIE is third, 5 points behind, but faces the top two seeds in their final
matches, and needs to win both and hope results go their way in order to
qualify. Giant Zucchini are now only mathematical possibilities, despite their
big win, but are looking good to claim third.

The NSSR and Anastasiania will most likely stay in 5th and 6th, though the
order is still uncertain, and are unlikely to slip below 6th. Matterbuggy and
the Penguins are still battling the wooden spoon position, with one point
seperating them. The Penguins face Spaam and the Zucchinis in their final
two matches, so look like they are out of it. However, a mere point against
either team, assuming Matterbuggy loses their last two matches, will be
enough to move to 7th.

Group 9 GP W D L PTS GD GF GA G%
Spaam 12 10 1 1 31 22 26 4 87
Hockey Canada 12 8 2 2 26 18 28 10 74
United Island Empires 12 5 6 1 21 5 17 12 59
Giant Zucchini 12 6 2 4 20 6 18 12 60
The NSSR 12 3 3 6 12 -1 16 17 48
Anastasiania 12 3 2 7 11 -10 14 24 37
Matterbuggy 12 2 1 9 7 -30 11 41 21
Raging Penguins 12 1 3 8 6 -10 9 19 32

Spaam face Raging Penguins next week, with the Waffles not needing to try
too hard, and the Penguins desperately needing a point to avoid the wooden
spoon, so it might be a good match. Hockey Canadia face the UIE at home,
and will be looking to beat them to cement their qualifying position, as well as
revenge for their shock loss a few months ago. The Zucchini's host
Anastasiania, with money on the home team, while the NSSR hosts
Matterbuggy.

Goal Scorers

10 (1) Tehta Trevelyan
7 (4) Crewenna Roskelly
4 (7) Jenifer Uren
2 (10) Budeaux Pomre
1 (20) Eseld Retallack
1 (11) Credan Trethewey
1 (14) Mar'h Menadue

History

Spaam 2:1 The NSSR
Hockey Canadia 2:1 Spaam
Spaam 4:0 Matterbuggy
Spaam 2:0 Giant Zucchini
Anastasiania 0:3 Spaam
Raging Penguins 0:2 Spaam
United Island Empires 0:0 Spaam
The NSSR 1:3 Spaam
Spaam 1:0 Hockey Canadia
Matterbuggy 0:4 Spaam
Giant Zucchini 0:2 Spaam
Spaam 2:0 Anastasiania
Spaam vs Raging Penguins
Spaam vs United Island Empires

Raging Penguins

05-07-2006, 19:12

*The Office of Willard E. Bibman, President of The National Informant, Raging Penguins' largest Newpaper and Rumour-Starter*

Willard E. Bibman was not a healthy man. He smoked quite a bit, for one, which has never been the most healthy of habits, and he was rabidly addicted, due to his constant state of unhappyness. Becuase of this, he coughed every thirty seconds, on a regular basis. You could set your watch to it, if you had the time. The other reason he was not a healthy man, was because he drank large amounts of Greycoldandugly Mountains Tea™, which contains plants grown on the steep, bare, grey slopes of the Greycoldandugly Mountains. It is well known that the only plants growning upon the Greycoldandugly Mountains are either grasses which have been mutated due to exposure to nuclear radiation(an effect of Raging Penguins' badly handled nuclear program), or are really toxic. The plants which make up the flavor of the horrendous tea are both. They also taste really bad, which was the cause of Bibman's constant ill-temper.

Today, he was particularily unhappy, and his cough seemed to have become worse as a result. Anybody setting their watch to his coughing would have found themselves a bit rushed, as each forceful exhalation came about five seconds earlier than normal.

"Briggs," he barked to the man sitting nervously in front if his desk, "Why the Hell was there no edition of The National Informant sitting in front of my office when I came in yesterday?"

Earl Briggs, the chief editor of the paper, glanced at the aging excecutive. He was probably going to lose his job over this.
"Er...Well, the press got broken, sir," he mumbled, "And we couldn't get it back up in time. What with all the reporters bein' hit over the head, and the head publisher being knocked ou–"

"Eh? I can't he–*cough*–ar you, Briggs!" Cut in Bibman, "Speak up, man! I'm not as young as I used to *cough* be!"

Briggs spoke up, straightening his back as he did. He figured that if he was going to lose his job, he might as well go down with pride.
"The presses were broke, sir. They was smashed by a gorup of rioters - rioteers, er, rioting masses, sir. The Head Publisher was hit over th' head by a Professional, sir, and we couldn't get the press back together."

Willard E. Bibman stared at him. Rioteers? The rioting masses had promised to only riot on wednesdays, and when the liquorshops closed. They'd also promised to stop storming newspaper offices if The Team hadn't won, which they hadn't.
"Whaddya mean, Briggs? The Rio–*cough*–teers promised not to attack our presses unless The Team won! Either that or –*cough*– if we stopped publishing the daily personals from the Brothels! What did the Profes –*cough*– sionals say?"

Briggs looked down at his notebook, which contained the interview he'd had with one of the Professional Rioteers, after he'd managed to corner the man in the editing room while the anrgy mobs had begun to burn the staff lunchroom. It was a rather confusing affair.

"Well, the Professional I interveiwed, sir, was Dr. Ronald Twaggins, sir, licensed in three countries to lead, participate in, and incite rioting and other activities which require large masses of people. He was," quoted Briggs, "Participating in, and leading, a riot which had been incited by one Billy Hardbowl, another Professional, over the sudden lack of loses displayed by The Team. He said that the–"
He was interrupted by a coughing splutter from his boss.

"Arghhackaphoomi-What?! The Team has won one game! They've lost all their games, save –*cough*– three! What the Hell were they thinking?!"

"Well, sir, they, the Rioteers, that is, they thought that there should have been more losing, sir, and less draws. They were really upset about the Draws. They figured that we oughtn't to be encouraging The Team to go beat up the other teams, what with their mysterious wooden crates, and their tanks, and those nasty reportcards that Mrs. Tweezly handed out."

Bibman shook his head, and coughed. He couldn't believe it. He'd proof-read that story, too. It had been a real good one, written by some of the finest reporters that the Informant had. The details about the "WARNING, CONTENTS UNDER DANGEROUS PRESSURE" crates, and what had happened to the NSSR's players when Devious Penguin had opened them with his long-range crowbar would have been a real seller.

He'd read the article, and he'd imagined those papers, freshly printed, just flying off the shelves, as the populace hungrily took in the gory details of the communist captain's horrible injury in the second half of the game. He'd seen them, in his minds eye, eagerly devouring the discription of Normal Penguin being booted into the air by an angry NSSRian forward, and how Irritated Penguin attempted to take on the entire NSSR defence on his own, and was carried off by paramedics. He had almost tasted the taste of sweet success, and Oh, the wealth, as the people read about the Oliverian Referee kicking Obese Penguin in the tail after the sides switched before the second half. He'd loved that story, especially when the reporters had described, in vivid detail, how the troop transport The Team had entered the pitch on had been flipped over by the NSSR's team, right onto DMYS, stopping the star defense player from blocking anymore shots.

And now, due to restless Rioteers, that article was gone, burnt up as it printed, after the mob has torched the secondary presses, and tore down the main press. The photo of Wild Penguin colliding with a goalpost three seconds into the game(and effectively removing him from play) was gone, after the darkroom was ripped apart by crowbar-wielding Professionals.

The success was gone with it. The wealth, the money, the huge rise in stock value had vanished as well, like so many ashes rising with the smoke from a blazing typewriter. He coughed again.

Willard E. Bibman was not happy at all.

((OOC: Yes, I had written an article for yesterdays Draw against the NSSR, but my computer crashed as I was finishing it up, and I couldn't bring myself to rewrite all of it. And yes, the events detailed above were actual parts of the article. The report on the match against HC is coming soon.))

Bettia

05-07-2006, 19:22

It's another World Cup qualifying matchday, and you know what that means, don't you? Yes dear readers, the streets of Bettia are totally deserted, save for a few policemen doing their thang, making sure no-one gets the urge to indulge in a spot of burglary. Quite why anyone would want to do that in Bettia is anyone's guess - having your hand chopped off tends to screw your career up big time, unless you're an outfield footballer.

One such deserted place is our usual destination - Pifton, that leafy suburb of Gabalfa where we once again join the customers of the Pie & Pixie as they all crowd round the cafés big screen, taking in the action as Bettia take on Harlesburg in the Rhinos' Stamping Ground. All our regulars are sat at their usual table, partaking in copious amounts of tea and various assorted snacks... with one notable exception.

With just five minutes to go and with Bettia looking to build on a 2-1 lead, George walks in rather gingerly, spots his mates and sits down at his favourite chair with a pained "Oooh!"

Ali looks puzzled, or pretends to be. "Alright George? Everything okay?"

"No it ain't okay at all. My ringpiece is giving me some major gip."

"Your... ahem, ringpiece?"

"Yeah. Got no idea how it happened, but I've just spent last night and the best part of today on the khasi."

"Oh dear," Ali replied, quietly smirking to himself. "What HAVE you been eating?"

"Nothing much, just those meat pies you gave me yesterday."

"Oh. They were okay though, right?"

"Yeah, they tasted fine, but oh blimey, I've had a major MAJOR case of the trots."

"Was it bad?"

"I'll say. I tell you, it was like rusty water pissing out of my..."

"OI!" yells Mike as he splutters on his toasted cheese sandwich. "Some of us are trying to eat here!"

"Sorry. So, how we doing?"

"Pretty good. We're two-one up at the moment, and Abdul-Rahim has just brought on two more strikers. I guess he thinks 2-1 ain't a big enough lead so he's going with a 1-4-5 formation."

"Blimey. Anyways, I'm hungry. I'm just popping over to get some grub, okay?"

"No, you sit yourself back down George." Ali cuts in, ushering his friend back into his seat. "I'll get your grub in."

Ali smiled as he walked up to Doris. His plan to prevent George from attending Aroras matches on tmie had worked so far, and now it was time for Stage Two - nothing short of a win against Virginia Nova will do at this crucial stage.

"You got those, ahem, special pies for me?"

"Yes, right here Al, but there's one thing I don't get... why would you want me to bake a batch of pies with extra-strength senna pods in them?"

Fixtures & Results

MD01: BETTIA 2-0 Spindomia (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)
MD02: Starblaydia 2-0 BETTIA (Sports Hall, Karak D'Ragh)
MD03: BETTIA 5-1 Sexy Games (Al-Fath Stadium, Sukatra)
MD04: BETTIA 1-1 Legalese (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)
MD05: Harlesburg 2-3 BETTIA
MD06: Virginia Nova 1-1 BETTIA
MD07: AwalKB 0-2 BETTIA
MD08: Spindomia 3-5 BETTIA
MD09: BETTIA 0-4 Starblaydia (Alice Street, Butetown)
MD10: Sexy Games 1-1 BETTIA
MD11: Legalese 1-1 BETTIA
MD12: BETTIA 2-1 Harlesburg (Stamping Ground, Lorshill)
MD13: BETTIA vs. Virginia Nova (Al-Fath Stadium, Sukatra)
MD14: BETTIA vs. AwalKB (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)

Wentland

05-07-2006, 19:43

As expected the match with Sliponia was controversial. What was not expected was the utter tirade delivered by the normally calm Tommy Barnes after the match. The fact that he delivered it with a cold, steely look in his eye made his comments positively unerring.

"This was a joke, nothin but a joke. Who picks these officials? To have one goal wrongly disallowed is bad luck, two perhaps very very unfortunate, but eight???? What was Mr Blake watching?

"We knew the Slips would kick us around but we had no idea, none whatsoever, that the referee would collude in that. I've got a player now in the dressing room with a broken leg and that moron in the black would not allow the trainer on for two whole minutes. No action taken against the perpetrator.

"And if anyone on the entire planet knows why that penalty was given against us I'd like to know why. And he made them take it 3 times. I thought he was going to take it himself to make sure they scored. I told him after the third one that if he was going to award another retake I would personally take the team off the pitch.

"Under normal circumstances I would ask for the match to be replayed with a neutral official. There is no way that in any fair competition we should not massacre an unranked team. We put 5 past Ariddia. Sliponia has done NOTHING this competition yet they hold us to a draw. That could only have happened with the officials' collusion. An absolute disgrace.

"The only reason why I am not demanding a replay is because even a win would not get us qualified. But I am very, very unhappy about the organization. This referee had it in for us from start to finish and I am very pleased to inform you that I am making an official complaint. If he is ever assigned to one of our matches again I am personally going to inform the organizers that we will go to Court to prevent him from taking charge."

Following such comments it is likely that Tommy Barnes will face sanction from the Wentland FA, if not from the NS organizers.

Raging Penguins

05-07-2006, 19:52

The Troglodytia Tribune

Canucks slide past The Team

After a violent draw against The NSSR, The Team faced the intimidating Canucks, and found themselves in a familiar environment. The stadium was very cold, although it lacked the landmines, barbedwire, and large, smoking craters which are distinguishing features of The Team's home pitch.

The Team, after losing their three armored vehicles against the hardy NSSR, came onto the pitch by foot. Recalling their last game against the Canucks, The Team had elected to wear protective devices on their tender parts, and did not strip down to emphasize any points. A smart decision on LUNATIC's part.

This time, the defense, apparently under the command of Willie Dee's Extremely Dangerous Hair, was unwilling to give up anything, especially their goal, which proved to be a problem when it came to switching sides. However, after the Canucks found themselves unable to get past an angry Obese Penguin, a determined DMYS, and a rather confused Fnab Fnab*, they decided to play it safe, and not venture too far into The Team's territory, that is, until the Second Half.

While the first half had consisted largely of Furious Porridge being thwarted time and time agian by the Canucks defense, as well as by Wild Penguin, and finishing with Porridge attempting to strangle Wild, the second half belonged to the Canucks. Almost as soon as the ball came into play, Mike Ko had it. He kept it, even after six failed shots, five of which bounced off Obese Penguin, and another which hit Fnab Fnab in the face, and rolled back to him. He gave up the idea of a direct attack, and let Midfielders Kulkarni and Broflovski confuse The Team with some complicated passes and footwork. After Irritated Penguin brought Broflovoski down with a well-placed peck to the tendon, Kulkarni passed to Ko, who brought it up to where DMYS was lying in wait.

DMYS managed to steal the ball, but after Normal Penguin tried to pass it up to Porridge, the ball was taken again, this time by Perrault. After managing to avoid the hostile advances of ABSOLUT LUNATIC, and an attempted tackle by Devious Penguin, Perrault passed the ball along the line of defensemen, who, after keeping it on their side for a good three minutes without many casualties, managed to kick it far up the field to Ko, who wasted no time, and kicked it straight into the face of Irritated Penguin. Irritated Penguin claims that the impact of the ball cracked his beak, and thus, the penalty kick should have been awarded to him, and that his ferocious assault of Ko had been in self-defense.

Indeed, it appears the the penguins' beak has been fractured, so the referee's awarded penalty kick, which resulted in the single goal for the Canucks, is technically a questioned decision. However, we haven't found anybody who actually questions it, because nobody roots for The Team, and all the Canuck fans were perfectly happy with what happened. Irritated himself is unavailable for comment, due to his beak-cast.

Next, The Team will once agian face the Spaamanian Waffles, and will hopefully be beaten thoroughly, or the Riots that have been plaguing newsrooms, barrooms, and bathrooms will probably escalate.

* - Fnab Fnab was unable to understand the Extremely Dangerous Hair, as he is a smelly foriegner, and hasn't learned to understand the subtle language of the nuclear-mutated beings.

Becquerelia

05-07-2006, 20:25

And we turn back around to see what's behind us:

http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/becquerelia.gif Becquerelia - 2__________2 - Haraki http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/haraki.gif

TIE KNOCKS OUT HARAKI
Still A Close Battle For Qualification

HARAKI(JNS) - The Haraki Hawks made a inspired performance against th Becquerelia Black Cats, but just couldn't get that final goal to score a slight upset victory and remain in contention for World Cup qualification.

"I kind of feel bad for them. I mean, coming just that close but still short is a terrible feeling. I've had alot of that, so I know what's going on in their heads and hearts right now," Assisstant Coach Peter Constantine said after the game was over.

Peter had also rushed out onto the field right after the game was over to seek out Haraki Forward and Captain Mike Zendar, and the two had a firly protracted talk on the field. When asked about what the two talked about, Peter just smiled and said "A old captain's heart-to-heart."

The game starter out with a furious pace, as Haraki scored in just the 6th minute off a Richard Weber shot that went right past a surprised Goalkeeper Tyrannio Licausi. Licausi appeared to be adversely affected by the Haraki crowd, and had trouble all day.

Becquerelia, after a long setting-up process, got their first goal of the day when Niceaus Annunziata beat Haraki Defender Rebecca Disano and got a clean shot past Goalkeeper Christopher O’Hara in the 21st minute.

Becquerelia then started to dictate the pace of the game, and controlled the ball for almost the rest of the first half, culminating in a Daniel Abigantus goal in injury time.

Come the second half, the game was almost all Haraki trying to score. Goalkeeper Licausi played on the ragged edge for a five minute period, barely stopping four shots before finally letting through a Mike Zendar goal in the 48th minute. This led to a angry Licausi berating Phillip Trentacoste on the pitch, only ending when Ambrose Wainwright came and pulled Trentacoste away and briefly putting Licausi back in his place.

When asked about what was said later, a embarrased looking Tyrannio Licausi said Wainwright was "...setting me straight as Ambrose is able to do." He also apologized for causing a scene on the pitch.

Becquerelia straightened out after Zendar knotted the score up, but it was still a back-and-forth battle between two teams trying to score a winning goal until the final whistle.

After the game, Head Coach Mark Crescentini was asked about the Haraki team that he had just knocked out of the World Cup.

"They are a good team, with just some rotten luck recently. But I wouldn't be surprised if they're back and right there for a spot in the World Cup next time around. They'll certainly be back."

With the tie, plus the results of all other teams in the group, Becquerelia remains in second place in Group Four, with Elves Security Forces two points behind, Cuation is four points behind Becquerelia, and Spammanina Plijous five points behind Becquerelia and still very much in the hunt for a qualification spot.

Becquerelia's Current Results and Upcoming Schedule
Home Team Last
WIN DRAW LOSS
MD01: Spaamanian Plijous - 1 Becquerelia - 0
MD02: Becquerelia - 2 System Karela - 1
MD03: Becquerelia - 1 Intyny - 2
MD04: Becquerelia - 1 Audioslavia - 0
MD05: Haraki - 0 Becquerelia - 1
MD06: Cuation - 2 Becquerelia - 0
MD07: Becquerelia - 3 Elves Security Forces - 1
MD08: Becquerelia - 0 Spaamanian Plijous - 0
MD09: System Karela - 0 Becquerelia - 2
MD10: Intyny - 1 Becquerelia - 3
MD11: Audioslavia - 2 Becquerelia - 1
MD12: Becquerelia - 2 Haraki - 2
MD13: Becquerelia (6-2-4) at Cuation (4-4-4)
MD14: Elves Security Forces (6-0-6) at Becquerelia (6-2-4)

Becquerelia's Goal Scorers

Daniel Abigantus - 6
Gregory Conveniencia - 3
Niceaus Annunziata - 2
Paul Annunziata - 2
Ziyad Al Abtah - 1
Razak Kahlef - 1
Thomas Strazzabosco - 1

Virginia Nova

05-07-2006, 23:45

Virginia Nova 0

Starblaydia 2

NOVA RICHMOND-It wasn't the big blow out we were expecting but it still stings. Stablaydia Beats the Eagles 2-0 in front of 109,661 Scramin Eagle fans. Johan Keifner got the ball rolling 34:19 in when he scored on a header from Pedro Rujano. The eagles had a quick chance to tie it but leading goal scorer Harold freemont could not get a penelty kick past the Goalkeep. A second Eagle oppurtunity was blown when Adam Neppi's kick went wide right. Thus 1-0 was the score at halftime. The second half got off to another poor start for the Eagles when a well placed kick by Paul Noble made it 2-0 Star. and after two unsucsessful penelty kicks. 2-0 would be the final score.

Leading Scorers

Harold Freemont 7
Dan Judd 2
Ross Peirio 1
Jeff Sanderson 1
Adam Neppi 1
Jimmy Hellios 1

Sarzonia

05-07-2006, 23:57

Portland Press Herald

Stars need to stay wary despite position

Elisa Stonebridge

The scene as the Sarzonian national football team prepared to face Kelse, the team that was expected to be the stiffest competition for the Stars in their efforts to qualify for the World Cup finals, was tense in spite of the way things have turned out in Group 7.

With most domestic observers of Sarzonian football predicting the team would miss out on qualifying for the first time since a young Dave Wilson was in his first go-round as the Sarzonian national team coach, the team's expectations were consistently lowered by many, including the Incorporated Football Federation itself.

"It's an all-new team with new players and a head coach who hasn't got a bloody clue about coaching World Cup football," said former Star Barry Alphonso, who was kicked off the team toward the end of the first Dave Wilson era. "They're going to be lucky to be in the top 30 by the time qualifiers are done."

However, this Stars team has made its mark the way pretty much every other Stars team did when the team was an up-and-coming side: By working harder than every opponent and by showing more determination than any other team. Only a 1:2 loss to Rejistania at Bryan Marshall Stadium in Woodstock has kept the Stars from an unbeaten run through qualifying thus far, and the team is a win or a Rejistania draw away from clinching a berth outright in the finals.

"We've got to be encouraged by the results," former Stars coach Brett Hancock said. "This team has definitely played like it had a lot more experience than it does, pretty much across the board. You can't underestimate the impact that Brian Wilson has had on that team."

To hear Coach Mark Wingate tell it, Brian Wilson's contributions to the team's success have been "enormous."

"He's been to the mountaintop," Wingate said. "He knows what it's like to win the ultimate prize. That means a lot more than anything I can tell the lads."

For his part, Brian Wilson minimised talk that he's the team's MVP -- or most valuable person -- choosing instead to credit the players under his tutelage.

"The team have taken to the World Cup like a fish to water," he said. "I haven't really had to guide them. They've gone about their business very professionally."

A win by Sarzonia combined with a Kericia loss would clinch Group 7 for Sarzonia, no mean feat when the team was slated to be in rebuilding mode before World Cup XXIX qualifying began. Even though the Stars have won their qualifying group seven consecutive times, an eighth straight would be considered a coup.

"During each of the seven previous runs, the team had a bunch of guys and girls who had experience playing in World Cup qualifiers and finals," Dave Wilson said. "This is the first time since World Cup XVI that we had a team with zero World Cup experience on our squad list heading in. It's definitely a sign that Sarzonian football isn't bereft of depth like some wags would have you believe."

However, to a man, everyone affliated with the Stars preached caution, saying that nothing's guaranteed yet and the team could still miss the World Cup finals in spite of their favourable position.

"Sarzonia were in first place in their qualifying group with two matches left [during World Cup XVI]," goalkeeper Frank Talbot said. "We had a home match in a one off playoff for the World Cup finals berth in World Cup XVII and we had a chance to advance to the Finals in World Cup XVIII, but we missed out with one match to go each time. It isn't over until the Starblaydi crows."

Fmjphoenix

06-07-2006, 00:02

Russell scores in first start, Vikints stroll over Northern Caesarea
Nolan scores again too!

When the scoreboard read "Schiavonia 4:2 Mr Chuck Norris", Coach Wash knew it was important. So he mad a change that many did not see coming. When the starting eleven was announced, there was a new forward in. Selphie Timmett was benched in favor of Jack Russell, and he responded with a late goal in the first half, and an unbelievable save in the second. His performence helped propel the Vikings over the Tricolors 2-0 to stay one point behind Schiavonia for first place in Group 2.

Northern Caesarea's Toledo was the first to attempt a shot, after his team worked up the pitch in the first 10 minutes, but his shot was deflected out by Justin Keys. Bobby Bash retrieved the deflection and the Vikings went on attack. It was not flashy or quick, as they are known to do at times, but they efficiently moved the ball up field and wrecked havoc on the Tricolors defenders. After a couple of passes, Mike Nolan had an open shot and brought the Vikings up 1-0 after twenty minutes. Jack Russell scored his fifth goal of the competition with a nice clean shot from 20 yards out that had Cuéllar stunned. He was unable to catch and the score rose 2-0 one minute before the end of the half.

The second half proved the be less offensive, as the Vikings worked more with ball control to try and keep the 2-0 and walk away winners. It was working pretty good until Toledo and Alcántara rushed up and intercepted a pass between Larua Boyd and Andrew Jenkins. Somehow, it seemed that Russell had seen it coming, as he was right behind the Tricolor forwards. Russell managed to come up from behind Alcántara and tap the ball to the right, where Ridley Silverlake came up with the loose ball and ended the Tricolors attack. That tap easily saved Northern Caesarea from scoring a goal and prevented them from gaining any major momentum. After the match, Wash was asked why he decided to give Russell the start over Timmett.

"It was not really a snap judgement or a sudden thought. He had been playing really well when substituting into the matches that I knew it was an injustice to not give him a chance. I just didn't really know when. This just seemed the right time, and it seems to have worked out right."

With the victory and Vaum and Isma only drawing Zychibastan, the Vikings are two points ahead. Another victory with another Vaum and Isma draw will garuntee that the Vikings go through to Krytenia or Casari. See you back here at Vanguard as the Vikings go for their eigth finals birth.

Fmjphoenix 2- 0 Northern Caesarea

Nolan 22, Russell 44- None

World Cup 29 Qualification
------------------------------------------------------------
MD01: Fmjphoenix 5 - 1 Zychibastan
MD02: Fmjphoenix 4 - 2 Schiavonia
MD03: Vaum and Isma 0 - 3 Fmjphoenix
MD04: Fmjphoenix 8 - 1 Mr Chuck Norris
MD05: Northern Caesarea 1 - 1 Fmjphoenix
MD06: Risa-Aramour 2 - 1 Fmjphoenix
MD07: Warrior Treblah 1 - 5 Fmjphoenix
MD08: Zychibastan 0 - 4 Fmjphoenix
MD09: Schiavonia 3 - 2 Fmjphoenix
MD10: Fmjphoenix 0 - 1 Vaum and Isma
MD11: Mr Chuck Norris 2 - 3 Fmjphoenix
MD12: Fmjphoenix 2 - 0 Northern Caesarea
MD13: Fmjphoenix ? - ? Risa-Aramour
MD14: Fmjphoenix ? - ? Warrior Treblah
------------------------------------------------------------
Record: 8-1-3 | 38 - 14
------------------------------------------------------------
Goal Scorers:
M. Nolan - 19
B. Dougood - 6
J. Russell - 5
S. Timmett - 3
R. Silverlake - 3
A. Jenkins - 2

AwalKB

06-07-2006, 00:12

The AwalKB Times
SEX GODS STILL IN CONTENTION FOR FINAL QUALIFYING SPOT

AWALK CITY, AwalKB -- Despite many doubts halfway through the qualification from within the team's organization itself, the AwalKB Sex Gods have rebounded in the second half of Qualification and are currently in contention for the second place spot in Group 3 following Starblaydia.

Although this is an achievement, they still have a long way to go. With their next two games against the first and second ranked teams, Starblaydia and Bettia respectively, the trail is set to be a dangerous one. Despite Starblaydia's early qualification at the top of the group, it is unlikely that they will lay back to give the Sex Gods a more easier time, especially after their near loss to AwalKB in a 1-0 win on a still controversial call.

Even with two wins on the final two matchdays, qualification will depend on huge upsets over Legalese and Bettia, by the Sex Gods themselves, as well as Virginia Nova, whom both Legalese and Bettia face on matchday 13 and 14 respectively.

Though they most likely won't qualify for the 29th World Cup, the achievements of this young AwalKB squad have been remarkable. With their at least 4th placing in the 7 nation group, the squad has outdone many favorites and it's ranking on the international circuit will surely jump tremedously due to such success.

The AwalKB National Football Association has recently expressed their satisfaction with the success of the team and was quick to announce that AwalKB will enter the Cup of Harmony with the support of the nation and expects to see much success from the squad in the event.

Group 3 Standings:

Group 3 GP W T L PTS GD GF GA
Starblaydia 12 11 1 0 34 36 39 3
Bettia 12 6 4 2 22 6 23 17
Legalese 12 5 6 1 21 4 16 12
AwalKB 12 6 1 5 19 4 23 19
Virginia Nova 12 3 3 6 12 -10 15 25
Sexy Games 12 2 4 6 10 -16 9 25
Spindomia 12 1 4 7 7 -14 11 25
Harlesburg 12 1 3 8 6 -10 16 26

The bottom four teams, Virginia Nova, Sexy Games, Spindomina, and suprisingly Harlesburg, are out of contention for the second spot of qualifying for the 29th World Cup.

The top team, Starblaydia has already qualified for the World Cup finals and has clinched the first spot in the group. Bettia and Legalese are still jockeying for position of second in the group with the AwalKB Sex Gods following close behind, only four points away from the current second place team and are therefore still in contention for the 2nd group spot though will need alot of help from some outdone teams.

Although the chances are slim, the chances are still there, and AwalKB fans across the nation are likely to be tuning in to the television by the billions to watch the gigantic game against the defending World Cup Champions, Starblaydia in Starblaydia. By Joe Lohos

Krytenia

06-07-2006, 00:47

Matchday Thirteen Cutoff

Th-th-th-that's all folks!

Virginia Nova

06-07-2006, 01:05

Matchday Thirteen Cutoff

Th-th-th-that's all folks!

OOC:how come my MD12 score and my MD 13 are both 2-0 losses to Starblaydia ;)

Quakmybush

06-07-2006, 01:33

So Close!!!!!!

The Quakmybush national soccer team played another qualifying match today, and tied Bothen 1-1. Jon Fields scored a beautiful goal in the 47th minute to give Quakymybush a 1-0 lead, but in the 60th minute when number 7 scored for Bothen. Quakmybush can clinch a birth with a win tommorrow over Tynelia. Other scenarios are: Quakmybush tie - if Bothen wins by less then 6 goals, Quakmybush is in. Quakmybush Loss - Bothen must lose or tie, and if Bothen does lose, it cannot be by more than 3. So all natives of Quakmybush and the team are hoping for Praying2God to tie Bothen, for Quakmybush to be one of the few (if any) unranked sides to get into the World Cup Proper.

Quakmybush Goal Scorers

Jon Fields - 6
Cory Sorley - 2
Andrew Plett - 2
Ryan Fret - 2
Ben Miller - 1
Mike Martin - 1

Sliponia

06-07-2006, 02:01

Slips Blow Early Lead
A win was close, a draw was closer.

SLIPONIA--In a highly entertaining but depressing Group 14 game here in Sliponia, one first half goal from Jason Finley helped Sliponia think they might get a win over Artoonia on MD13.

The Slips took the lead in the 24th minute with a Finley free-kick the ball was delfected by the Artoonian keeper but Finley recovered the loose ball and sent it to it's home in the back of the net.

With a 1-nil lead heading into the locker room, Sliponia was optimistic. However, in the 58th minute Artoonia crept past the Sliponian defenders on what many felt to be an offisides play and scored the equalizer.

As the game drew to a close the Slips were happy to have draw. But in traditional fashion, the Slips blew it. A set pieces goal in the 91st minute allowed Artoonia to sneak away with a win.

The final match for the Slips is against the "Badgers" from Elrich. Sliponia will be going for their first win of this Cup while Elrich will look to make it 4, however both teams are clearly out of the top 2.

Sliponia WC29 Scorers
11 Gerald Parenteau (3)
23 Andrew Williams (2)
10 Jason Finley (2)
25 Keith Grey (1)
Sliponia WC29 Results
Sliponia vs. Jeruselem [L: 3-0]
Sliponia vs. Khenas [D: 0-0]
Sliponia vs. Ariddia [L: 4-0]
Sliponia vs. Mahaliastan [L: 1-0]
Sliponia vs. Wentland [L: 3-2]
Sliponia vs. Artoonia [D: 1-1]
Sliponia vs. Elrich [D: 1-1]
Sliponia vs. Jeruselem [D: 0-0]
Sliponia vs. Khenas [D: 1-1]
Sliponia vs. Ariddia [L: 3-1]
Sliponia vs. Mahaliastan [L: 2-1]
Sliponia vs. Wentland [D: 0-0]
Sliponia vs. Artoonia [L: 2-1]
Sliponia vs. Elrich [TBP]

Sarzonia

06-07-2006, 02:06

Nicksia News

Stars in with a bullet

by Jamie Cullen
Staff Writer

WOODSTOCK (5 July 2006) -- "We're in! We're in!"

For a national team that just clinched its 11th consecutive World Cup finals berth, the scene in the locker room after Sarzonia's 2-0 home win vs. Kelse could be considered an aberration. A team that clinched its eighth consecutive group title usually wouldn't react to the milestone by jumping on each other and spraying champagne in the locker room.

But these are different times for the Stars. A team that looked on the verge of being cast into the ranks of also-rans after two consecutive uninspired performances in the World Cup finals was now back on top of its game with a roster of 23 world footballing neophytes leading the way.

With Rejistania leading Kericia by one point in the tables, the two sides head into the final matchday with the second and final spot in World Cup XXIX up for grabs. Both sides play home matches, with Kericia duelling it out against Kelse, the group's number three seed at the start of qualifying. Meanwhile, Rejistania play a Aigosthena side currently at the bottom of the table.

All of that was immaterial to Sarzonia; their home match against Tecpatl is now rendered moot with the team having an opportunity to rest their starting 11. Coach Mark Wingate said he and assistant coach Brian Wilson also would take the day off, with goalkeeping coach Horace Sandt calling the shots.

"Brian's had an opportunity to coach the team," Wingate said. "Now let's see what Hor can do."

All of this is possible because for nine victories and three draws, Sarzonia were able to recall a team that consistently was among the best in the world rather than a team in a steady decline over the past three World Cups.

Regardless of what happens in the World Cup, these Stars have served notice that they're not going away.

MATCHDAY 13 SCORES
Sarzonia 2:0 Kelse
Rejistania 1:0 Tecpatl
Kericia 1:3 Dorian and Sonya
Aigosthena 2:1 Snub nose 38point1

Group 7 GP W T L PTS GD GF GA
Sarzonia 13 9 3 1 30 18 24 6
Rejistania 13 7 4 2 25 6 13 7
Kericia 13 7 3 3 24 4 19 15
Kelse 13 5 3 5 18 -1 17 18
Dorian and Sonya 13 5 1 7 16 -2 17 19
Snub nose 38point1 13 2 5 6 11 -7 14 20
Tecpatl 13 1 7 5 10 -6 14 20
Aigosthena 13 2 2 9 8 -12 10 22

The Archregimancy

06-07-2006, 02:08

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

WORLD CUP TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden-Throated

"Now that, Fr. John, is what I call a pile of Holy Relics!"

"Quite impressive, Fr. Nicholas! Why, just look at these Holy objects of Veneration - how can our team not fail to be inspired? Let's look at just a few of the collected items of Veneration....

The incorruptible hands of both St. Catherine and St. Nicetas the Goth!
The heads of three Orthodox Christian Romanians martirised under communism!
The jaw bone of St. Gregory of Nyssa!
The head of St. Silouan the Athonite!
A personal favourite of mine - the incorruptible hand of St. John Chrysostom!
Not to mention - direct from New Montreal States - St. Basil the Great's childhood blanket!"

[OOC - With the exception of the blanket, all of these are authentic, and can be seen here (http://www.orthodoxphotos.com/Holy_Relics/Various/index.shtml)]

"Those New Montrealers have really chipped in during our hour of need, Fr. John. Quite apart from St. Basil's blanket, Patriarch André I personally intervened to send us St. Alexander Nevsky's third-favourite sword, St. Athanasius the Athonite's writing quill and a couple of fragments of the True Cross. Not to mention a pile of well-intentioned, but perhaps slightly more spurious, relics of unknown origin. I understand that the normally reclusive Archregimand made a personal appeal to the Patriarch for assistance as we face a more difficult than expected path to the World Cup"

"We have much to thank NMS for, Fr. Nicholas. As I understand it, the starting XI and Coach Kyrill, Metropolitan of Solovetsky were left alone in the Relic Room inside the Dreamed Stadium as they sought inspiration from our secret Orthodox weapons...."

Not only that, but they prayed hard to the saint of each squad member - I have a list of all eleven saints to hand, as it happens teamed up with the appropriate squad member....

Fr. Justinian the Thrice-Blessed - The Holy Hieromartyr Justinian of Ramsey Island

Fr. Michael the New Hermit - Venerable Michael the Fool-for-Christ of the Klops Monastery, Novgorod

Fr. Michael the Greater - The Hosiomartyr Michael, disciple of St Theodore of Edessa

Fr. Dmitri the Humble - St Demetrius of Thessalonica

Fr. Michael the Lesser - St Michael the Wonderworker of Murom

Fr. Andrew the Twice-Found - The Holy, glorious, all-laudable Apostle Andrew the First-called

Fr. Constantine the Learned - The Holy Equal of the Apostles and Emperor Constantine

Fr. David the Water-Drinker - St. David, Bishop of Wales

Fr. Pavel the Wanderer - Venerable Paul the Simple and Disciple of the Venerable Anthony the Great

Fr. Silouan of the Seventy Caves - Venerable Silouan of Mt. Athos

Fr. Basil the Faster - St Basil the Great the Archbishop of Caesarea, in Cappadocia"

"Well, Fr. John, armed with the inspiration of the Holy Relics and watched over by eleven saints, how can they possibly fail? Let's go straight to the match!"

90 minutes later

"Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachtani?"

"It's no good getting passionately biblical on us, Fr. Nicholas. Under normal circumstances, going two goals down to a bunch of medieval knights and then clawing our way back through a Fr. Michael the Greater header off a corner and a late disputed penalty converted by Fr. Constantine the Learned would have been cause for celebration! It was indisputably an exciting match!"

"But we can't win. We can't beat weaker teams. After racing through the first six qualifier matches with five wins and a draw, we've been downright incompetent. Even with the help of Holy Relics we can't get a win. Draws to the 8th, 7th, 6th, and 5th ranked teams, and losses to the 4th and 3rd ranked teams. The only nation we've beaten twice are second-ranked Milchama! It's a Catholic plot I tell you! A Catholic plot!"

"Fr. Nicholas, with all due humility, have you considered the possibility that we simply might not be good enough to qualify - first seeds or not? That there might be more important things for monks to worry about than football matches? It might behoove you to reflect on whether you might just be getting a teensy bit too wrapped up in this World Cup thing. I for one choose to spend more time reflecting on my relationship with the Lord."

"Wise words, Fr. John. Perhaps now is the time to stop and reflect on more important things.....

-----------------------------------------------------------------

versus Iaukea: 2-0 – Praise be to God
versus Milchama: 2-0 – Praise be to God
versus Chicanada: 0-0 – Satan’s work
versus Kaze Progressa: 2-0 – Praise be to God
versus East Lithuania: 3-2 – Praise be to God
versus Tessan: 3-2 – Praise be to God
versus Third England: 0-0 – Satan’s work
versus Iaukea: 0-0 – Satan’s work
versus Milchama: 2-1 - Praise be to God
versus Chicanada: 0-2 – Lucifer ascendant
versus Kaze Progressa: 0-3 – Lucifer ascendant
versus East Lithuania: 0-0 – Satan’s work
versus Tessan: 2-2 – Satan’s work

New Montreal States

06-07-2006, 02:09

PALADINS FEDEX IT IN

Starters watch from beach as reserves, U21s get swamped by Dream Team

ACADIE - Of course, we're no better, seeing as how our reporting staff is still either off morally and spiritually supporting The Archregimancy or launching mixtures of malt, yeast and hops at Milchamian forwards. Neither halves of our staff had much luck, as the Archregimancy drew with Tessan, leaving them in a must-win situation for qualifying to get ahead of the Excelites, while the Warriors beat the ever-loving Anathematic Republics out of East Lithuania 6-1, despite our correspondants managing to "get their keeper good."

One junior staff member, however, has volunteered to follow the Paladins starters on their trek through the last three matches of qualifying. However, having salted away first place with their win over Geisenfried, the starters were relaxing on a beachfront resort in the closest tropical paradise to Krytenia after a day of training in a special facility erected in AO by the Ministry of Morale so as "be able to overcome the constant jet lag" caused by the fact that three of the four previous tournaments have been held in AO, not to mention the three Draggonni Inviyattiis in which the Paladins have participated.

"So they built us this place to be sort of like our home away from home," said forward Gilles Villeneuve to our reporter as he sipped a daiquiri and received a sensual massage from an attendant. "So we can overcome jet lag and all that. Can I get another one of these?"

Meanwhile, the reserves and U21s battled to a draw against a determined Footie Dream Team that was still eliminated by virtue of not having won. The reserves will be shipping out to join the starters at "Camp Paladin," while the U21s alone take on Ulyanova.

PALADINS 1 - Darcy 30
THE FOOTIE DREAM TEAM 1 - #7 22

TOURNAMENT SCORING

Villeneuve 7
H. Labranche 6
Faulkner 4
Toussaint 3
Pilon 2
Tessier 2
Darcy 1
Hunyadi 1
F. Labranche 1
Plattsburgh 1

Spaam

06-07-2006, 03:08

SPAAM SPORTS WEEKLY
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Waffles Win; Arthur Injured

Just four years after a heart-breaking qualifying season, where Spaam
shocked the world and finished last in their group (and behind Spaamanian
Plijous!), the Waffles have turned it around, and easily qualified on top on
group 9. From recent performances, they are the 7th best team in the world,
and have the third best defense. They have won their past 6 matches, and
are unbeaten over the past 11. Nothing seems to stop Pengelley's Waffles,
not even a tackle that sees one of their players on life-support.

17 year old Eseld Retallack scored her second ever international goal in the
9th minute, completely defeating Willie Dee and his Extremely Dangerous Hair.
The Raging Penguins lived up to their name, playing the Waffles hard, tackles
coming freely, though Oliverrian referee Diego Parker was hesitant to bring
out the yellow. The second half turned nasty though, when ABSOLUT
LUNATIC, crashed into keeper Feoca Arthur as he was retrieving the ball,
knocking him out cold. Parker finally brought out a red, but Arthur had to be
taken to hospital.

The Penguins defense stayed strong with only ten men, though Trevelyan
managed to put the game away in the 62nd minute off a corner. However,
the win was bittersweet, as they keeper that had defended so well
throughout qualifying was reported to be on life-support and in a coma.
Sowena Prisk will take up regular keeping duty, and 31 year old Ives Ivey will
come in as the normal reserve keeper. NSFA officials are investigating
whether action should be brought against ABSOLUT LUNATIC.

(20 Retallack 9; 1 Trevelyan 62) Spaam 2:0 Raging Penguins ()

OOC: Congrats Raging Penguins, you managed to kill off one of my players ;)

With One Round To Go...

Group 1: Squornshelous and D2R have easily qualified with one to go.

Group 2: 2nd seed Schiavonia have all but mathematically qualified, but a
Fmjphoenix loss and Vuam and Isma win, could see the world number 9 miss
out on the World Cup. Pays good money, but an incredible long shot.

Group 3: Starblaydia and Bettia have cemented their qualifying spots.

Group 4: Audioslavia have already qualified, but it the world number 56
Becquerelia that have surprised, all but mathematically going through. 2nd
seed Haraki have had a disappointing run, and will finish no higher than 4th.

Group 5: Similar situation to group 2, with 2nd seed Spruitland going through,
but an incredibly unlikely TnUI loss and Maccabees win would see the top
seed miss out.

Group 6: Tadjikistan are easy qualifiers, but second seed Nedalia are tied with
world number 79 Molvania. Molvania needs to perform better than Nedalia,
which is definitely possible, though odds go Nedalia's way.

Group 7: 2nd seed Sarzonia have qualified, but world number 8 Rejistania are
only one point ahead of world number 47 Kericia. A Rejistanian loss means
Kericia can pass with only a draw, and a draw means that they can qualify
with a win. Some bookies are refusing to pick this one.

Group 8: Liverpool England have qualified, but world number 59 Qazox have
surprised, one point ahead of second seeds Cataduanes. Qazox have the
easier match, and are favourites to qualify for the first time.

Group 9: 2nd seeds Spaam have qualified over world number 4 Hockey
Canadia. Surprise for some, but Waffles fans are convinced the veteran
nation are better than the beaver loving upstarts.

Group 10: Oliverry have qualified, and Commerce Heights all but
mathematically so.

Group 11: NMS and ASMV have both easily qualified.

Group 12: We're gonna leave this one till last...

Group 13: World number 38 Chicanada have already qualified, while second
seeds Milchama have disappointed and will finish no higher than 4th. Top
seeds the Archregimancy is tied with world number 57 Kaze Progessa, and
need to have a better result to qualify. Odds are on the Archregimancy, but
barely.

Group 14: Jeruselem and Arridia have both easily qualified, with second seeds
Ariddia holding a one point lead over the world number 10s.

Group 15: The world's best team, Bedistan, have qualified. There's still
a three-way battle between the Islands of Qutar, Pastorville, and Magnus
Valerius. A win will all but see Qutar through, anything but should see one of
the others. The second most exciting group...

Back to group 12: Here's the deal: second seeds McPsychoville have
qualified. If Quakmybush lose by 3 or more, then the winner of the
Praying2God vs Bothen match will qualify (most likely the top seeds P2G). A
draw will see Quakmybush qualify. If Quakmybush lose by 2, then the winner
of the P2G vs Bothen match qualifies, unless P2G wins by only one or it is a
draw, in which case Quakmybush will all but qualify. If Quakmybush lose by
one, then the winner of the P2G vs Bothen match qualifies, unless P2G wins
by two or less or it is a draw, in which case Quakmybush will all but qualify.
Anything else sees Quakmybush qualify.

What makes this so exciting, is that Quakmybush have never participated in a
non-friendly international match before the qualifiers, and are unranked.
Bothen are ranked 195th in the world. Anything but a convincing P2G win,
will see the top seeds upstaged by a team that noone would have thought
could possibly qualify for the World Cup.

Group 9 Roundup

Hockey Canadia 3:1 United Island Empires
Giant Zucchini 1:2 Anastasiania
The NSSR 2:0 Matterbuggy

Hockey Canadia cemented their second place and qualification with an easy
two goal win over the UIE, while the Zucchinis had a shock home loss to
Anastasiania, and the NSSR easily dispatched with Matterbuggy. Spaam will
now finish in first position, followed by Hockey Canadia. Then there is an 8
point gap to the UIE, third on 21 points, with the Zucchinis one point behind.
With the UIE facing the Waffles at home, and Giant Zucchini hosting Raging
Penguins, money is on the Zucchinis taking third place.

The NSSR is 5th on 15 points, with Anastasiania one point behind, but with
the NSSR travelling to Hockey Canadia, and Anastasiania taking on
Matterbuggy, those positions should switch. And finally, Matterbuggy is in
7th spot on 7 points, one ahead of Raging Penguins. If Matterbuggy lose,
then the Penguins only need a draw to jump ahead, and avoid the wooden
spoon.

Group 9 GP W D L PTS GD GF GA G%
Spaam 13 11 1 1 34 24 28 4 88
Hockey Canada 13 9 2 2 29 20 31 11 74
United Island Empires 13 5 6 2 21 3 18 15 55
Giant Zucchini 13 6 2 5 20 5 19 14 58
The NSSR 13 3 3 7 15 1 18 17 51
Anastasiania 13 4 2 7 14 -9 16 25 39
Matterbuggy 13 2 1 10 7 -32 11 43 20
Raging Penguins 13 1 3 9 6 -12 9 21 30

Next week is the last week of qualifiers, which sees Spaam taking on the UIE
and seeking revenge for the draw inflicted on them a couple of months ago.
Hockey Canadia is hosting the NSSR, which should be a win for the home
team, the Zucchinis are hosting the Penguins in an exciting match, with both
teams wanting to move up a spot, and Anastasiania host Matterbuggy, who
have given away over 43 goals in 13 matches.

Goal Scorers

11 (1) Tehta Trevelyan
7 (4) Crewenna Roskelly
4 (7) Jenifer Uren
2 (10) Budeaux Pomre
2 (20) Eseld Retallack
1 (11) Credan Trethewey
1 (14) Mar'h Menadue

History

Spaam 2:1 The NSSR
Hockey Canadia 2:1 Spaam
Spaam 4:0 Matterbuggy
Spaam 2:0 Giant Zucchini
Anastasiania 0:3 Spaam
Raging Penguins 0:2 Spaam
United Island Empires 0:0 Spaam
The NSSR 1:3 Spaam
Spaam 1:0 Hockey Canadia
Matterbuggy 0:4 Spaam
Giant Zucchini 0:2 Spaam
Spaam 2:0 Anastasiania
Spaam 2:0 Raging Penguins
Spaam vs United Island Empires

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

06-07-2006, 06:08

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg

Day Of Rest For Aging Starters

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from Stadii Se Draggonnii Arcea.

Tonight was a special treat for many Sea Dragon fans all over ASMV. Having already qualified, it was determined that most of the regulars would see little or no action during the match against Geisenfried. The reserves needed to gain some experience and Pao St Martinique and his staff wanted to get a feel for just how well Porche Alexander would be able to compete.

That meant a lot of mostly unseen faces on the pitch today. Bok Werizky made his first appearance at Right Back, giving Micah Swift some much needed rest. Bok performed well and showed the same nasty temperament of his predecessor. Kasey Kurzinsky started in place of Allyson Shade at wing defender and worked through a vast learning curve. She did manage to get the hang of things late in the match, but it was her slip that allowed Geisenfried to score for the win. Keeper Jenna Jaffray played very well and made 6 brilliant saves and allowing just the one goal.

Marlin Atreche and Kendrick Pu played surprisingly solid in the midfield. Pu has played well before but never at the level shown today. Leena Draghi and Porche Alexander were the forwards, and despite no scores, both played well, with Porche putting 4 shots on the Geisenfried keeper, who nearly let two go past.

Expect more action from the reserves as ASMV wraps up group play at home against The Footie Dream Team. The match means nothing to the Sea Dragons except for more rest for some of the aging starters.

Friends Watch.

Cuation drew 1-1 with Bequerelia. That ended their hunt for qualification and now Sea Dragon fans have 3 sides to cheer for in the CoH.

Tadjikistan destroyed Ozzelia 5-0 and looks primed for a great run in the WC proper.

Dorian and Sonya ruined life for Kericia 3-1. The loss dropped Kericia behind Rejistania for qualification. Only a miracle will give them that spot back.

Despite being eliminated, Milchama proved themselves today with a 6-1 bitch-slap of East Lithuania. Can anyone say CoH Champions?

Ariddia continues to play brilliantly after a 3-2 win over Khenas.

One Red Dot

06-07-2006, 08:39

LAST DAY LEFT, TNUI AND SPRUITLAND MAY FINISH WITH TOP SPOTS
6 July 2006
by aSWORD.org.rd

And finally, the qualifications will soon come to an end, but unlike other groups that have clear cut winners, Group 5 still remains undecided as One Red Dot, TnUI and Spruitland all still have chances at making the World Cup.

One Red Dot will be set to play against The Macabees as an away side. Whilst the win against them last week almost seemed like a miracle, a win against The Macabees at their home ground might seem difficult.

However, the Wolves are spurred on by their 3-1 win against Spruitland at their home ground. Peter BRACK and substitute Darren LIN scored on the 56' and 72' to ensure that the original equalised score wouldn't last.

Over at TnUI, preparations are being made for the final host game against GarfieldtheFat. It is predicted that TnUI will completely over-shadow GtF's chance of crawling up the table.

In Spruitland, they host Dingzawa tomorrow, and it is likely that that they too, will defeat their visiting nation.

In summary, with TnUI and Spruitland's victories, One Red Dot will have no chance of breaching the qualification barrier. The only chance the Wolves have is TnUI losing their match.

There are no more home-side matches and so, ORDTIX would not be selling tickets for this match. Channel 5 will also have a live broadcast of the match at 2.00am, with a same day repeat teleacst at 10.00pm.

Rejistania

06-07-2006, 10:44

From the KaMaRi Update:

Rejistania 1 - Karela 0

The Rejistanian national team defeated Tecpatl on home soil by a 1:0 scoreline. The match took place in Na~ovi kali in the Estadije Na~ovi Nanti. Since several decades, a rejistanian national team played a 4-4-2. After the vinali tikira revolution, the temple outlawed "attickingness" and according to them, even a 4-4-2 was an attacking formation. The new Bazalonian coach however believes in the "Hetaki rejistaniha". Coach Eric Frankton said to a reporter of the Sikenian Daily: "Rejistania has good strikers, they have due to not being allwed more attacking formation developed more individual class, which is why there are goals at all in Rejistani H1SR matches. This is a good basis for a more attacking style of play."

Against Tecpatl, there were many chances, but most of them were not well executed, the team still had some problems in their formation. These problems also affected the defense, where only Jeri Kis's quick reactions sometimes saved the 0. The Orange-Blues dominated this match very much and had impressive statistics on possession, corners and freekicks, however, this did not reflect in scoring opportunities or even goals. The few good chances were saved by goalie @@RANDOMNAME@@. Until the 89th minute, the score was still 0:0. Then, in the nick of time, the Rejistanis exploited a second of lacking attention in the Tecpatlian defense and Syku Lyku Sikane'tes somehow managed to shoot the ball hard in direction of the goal. @@RANDOMNAME@@ could reach, but not hold the ball. Seiru I Hetaki headed the reflected ball past @@RANDOMNAME@@ into the goal. The Orange-Blues were ahead 1:0 and this was the final score.

The Rejistanis are despite the win not qualified yet. If the Orange-Blues lose against Aigostena, then they need Kericia to lose against Kelse as well. If the Orange-Blues draw against Aigosthena, the Kericians must not win against Kelse. Only in case of a win, the Orange-Blues are surely qualified and Frankton'he will not lose his job.

Tynelia

06-07-2006, 11:43

Tynelia Done

With yet another draw, this time against thrid seed Rordia Tynelia was officially eliminated from the World Cup qualifying this time around. But for the third straight Cup, Tynelia finds itself playing a home match where they can act as the spoiler for another team. Its its first try, Tynelia lost 2-1 to the Kazoo Peoples which let the kazooers- after managing to prevent a lawsuit where Tynelian Soccer Weekly's correspondent Harmonie Harris-now Masterson, threw the nation into an upror when her mispronunciation of the sacred kazoo tongue led many to believe the world was ending.

Tynelia did better or worse depending on your point of view the last cup when their 2-1 upset of the Lowland Clans prevented the Clansmen from advancing. Now its upstart Quakmybush who needs little more than a draw to move on as they come to the Presidential Coliseum. This would seem to indicate that if any bettors happened to be around, they would be wise to put money on whoever plays Tynelia for their last match as a world cup qualifier.

Most fans are now looking at a potentially killer Cup of Harmony as more top teams than usual seem in danger of not qualifying for the Cup prpoer which would make Tynelia's round of 16 finish last time difficult to repeat.

Atheistic Right

06-07-2006, 12:34

Another missile flew over the Atheistic Right main land and landed inoccously in the water. There was a small bouy that was generally the target. The bouy was fairly hard to detect but the missile wasn't, something that was more worrying for the people that knew anything about the true nature of Atheistic Right was a bright flash of light and mushroom cloud that formed over "The Island". A successful nuclear test had been achieved and Atheistic Right was now a nuclear power. This development was not at all subtle to anyone in Atlantian Oceania and it did not go un-noticed.

A number of regional powers including Starblaydia and Bazalonia demanded that Atheistic Right cease it's nuclear ambition and submit to international will and inspections. Atheistic Right refused all demands saying the weapon "was necessary for defense"

Many forces within Atlantian Oceania have threatened military action if something is not down the Atheistic Right Ministery of War and External Relations have waved of the demands and the situation could very well escalate unless Atheistic Right submits to their demands. But when have you ever known Atheistic Right to do the sensible thing.

Jeruselem

06-07-2006, 13:42

Jeruselem Government News

LIONS FALTERING, Crusaders and Ariddia happy joy joy

Nothing new, nothing to see ... everyone you'd expect to win won. Top 2 are entrenched with an unlucky 3rd to Wentland who could have qualified if they were in a different group. Only thing left is to see who will be top of Group, with one point separating Jeruselema and Ariddia.

It must be the 2-1 day. All games except one where won 2-1 by the expected victors. Ariddia bucked the trend with 3-2 win over Khenas who played better than usual but Ariddia overran them like Panzer tank. Mahaliastan were lucky to get beaten by Jeruselem 2-1 as the ref decided 2 goals for Jeruselem was enough although the ball hit the back of net more times than that, due to off-side the others were not allowed. Wentland beat Elrich, but the win won't Elrich take 2nd spot. Artoonia didn't find Sliponia slippery at all, and the poor old Sliponians might as well be wearing slippers now.

Arridia still 1st and Jeruselem 2nd. Unlucky Wentland 3rd where they might 2nd in another group, and the rest. We wish Wentland the best of luck on the Cup of Harmony, and hope they win it. We've won one CoH, so can they.

Group 14
Wentland 2:1 Elrich
Ariddia 3:2 Khenas
Jeruselem 2:1 Mahaliastan
Artoonia 2:1 Sliponia

BIG GAME for the Lions - with Nedalia 2nd and Molvania 3rd, one more win for the Lions was required. Just one win - 3 points with one game left in qualifying. Wouldn't you know, guess who won? Molvania of course. The Lions fell down and lost 1-2 meaning both teams are now equal on points and well, the Lions are in peril of not qualifying again. Long suffering Lions fans must be wondering if World Cup 28 was some abnormality as it's now down the last game. The Lions must hope Molvania lose their game, and the Lions win the ensure passage to the 2nd round. The Kazoo Peoples and Kirstiriera didn't do any favours for themselves as they played out a draw and are now out of the World Cup. The Tigers mauling Ozzelia 5-0, securing top spot with an iron paw. It's down to the Lions and Molvania to secure 2nd spot - and we hope the Lions are Lions not kitty cats. The Ians scored a great win over Dicuban 3-1 but they will not make the finals.

Oh, why do the Lions make life so hard for themselves? Please win. Everyone pack out the Churches, Synagogues, and Mosques - pray for Nedalia to make the 2nd round.

Group 6
The Kazoo Peoples 1:1 Kirstiriera
Nedalia 1:2 Molvania
Tadjikistan 5:0 Ozzelia
Dicuban 1:3 Iansisle

Well, Spaam and Hockey Canada won. This means Hockey Canada and Spaam will qualify but it's Spaam who will top Group 9 and not Hockey Canada. Well done Spaam but we are sure Hockey Canada will give their qualifying opponents a hard time because they are the 4th seed for a special reason. Hockey Canada are a big time team.

Group 9
Spaam 2:0 Raging Penguins
Hockey Canada 3:1 United Island Empires

OOC - More stats!

GOALS = 30

Strikers (18)
Takahashi Masurashi 5
Geoff Shout 5
"Druggie" Bob Dopan 1
Keanu Reeves 3
Robert Hoot 4

Midfield (11)
WB Tree 0
Olmat Masha 1
Smaski Duboski 1
Carrie Fisher 1
Penny Handi 3
Debbie Dallas 5

Defense (1)
Cain MacBeth 0
Able MacBeth 0
"Stumpy" Moshe Gonda 0
Penny Gadget 1
Joseph Hermit 0
Ima Blocka 0

Giant Zucchini

06-07-2006, 13:44

Dear diary,

I hate Anastasiania. I repeat, I hate Anastasiania. Because of YOU, I'm going to lose my job. Because of YOU, it's gonna be because of public opinion. Because of YOU, suddenly the country wants me out of my job despite a 5:0 victory in the last qualifying match. I HATE YOU! I! HATE! YOU! Aargh, who knew international football could be this depressing...well I wish whoever is taking over my place the best of luck.

He'll need it.

D

The Giant Zucchini Department of Statistics and Other Useless Information Presents:
Top Scorers
9 Carel Hals
2 Genrikh Akayev
2 Yoshikatsu Nakamura
2 Vicente de Silva
1 Absamat Chekhov
1 Arturo di Zampieri
1 Jacob de Verkerk
1 Pablo Perez

Ariddia

06-07-2006, 14:12

Ariddian second team scores new win

With qualification a certainty, Melenciuc decided to leave most of the Rouge-et-Noirs’ usual starters on the bench for the match against Khenas, and to give more players the opportunity to gain some experience. While Tim Wald, Ta I, John Sanjeeb and Clémentine Ramirez took to the field as usual, there were several faces that had rarely been seen before, including defender Julien Prévert and attacker Dave Rider. For once, captain and goalkeeper Sandrine Leduc also remained on the bench, as second goalie Awad al Maharmeh was chosen as a starter. Sanjeeb was made captain for the duration of the match.

It was the thirty-seventh minute before Clémentine Ramirez opened the score, and seemed to give a fresh jolt of energy to her team-mates, who were perhaps not all quite used to playing together yet. 1-0 at half, made 2-0 in the fifty-first minute by Nam Hyok-Jun, on a corner kick taken by Lange. Khenas was not just going to lie down and concede defeat, however, and proved it by scoring in the sixty-second minute. Young midfielder Tadjou Sheyi Senaya made it a more comfortable 3-1 lead for Ariddia in the sixty-eighth, and Khenas narrowed the lead again in the eightieth. There was fairly little doubt that Ariddia would win, but the Rouge-et-Noirs came close at times to conceding their first draw in this Cup.

Only one game remains now, on home soil against Mahaliastan. Jeruselem will be facing Artoonia. If the top two teams both win, the Rouge-et-Noirs will have maintained their country at the top of their group, with twelve wins, only two losses, and high hopes for the rest of the Cup.

It is expected that there will be parties throughout Ariddia to celebrate qualifying, whatever the score against Mahaliastan. The Avenue Weyle’e in Rêvane, the capital city, will be the scene of a huge out-door party, and Ariddian flags can already been seen floating from and in the windows of homes and shops all the way down the avenue.

GOAL SCORERS (so far)

Ramirez: 7
Faraj: 6
Ul U: 5
Ta I: 3
Kyaw: 2
T.S. Senaya: 2
Sanjeeb: 2
Nam H.-J.: 2

Fmjphoenix

06-07-2006, 14:49

Six goals crack Risa-Aramour, final matchday to decide it all

With qualification on the line, everyone in green and blue knew they had to come out with everything and get another solid win. Before the first half ended, the outcome had been already decided. With another offensive burst, Fmjphoenix jumped to an early lead and never looked back defeating Risa-Aramour 6-1 to head into an all important final matchup against Warrior Treblah.

Jack Russell looked pretty comfortable in the starting line again, scoring the first goal of the match in the 11th minute, getting to the box alone, he face and dispatched keeper Jason Aragon with a quick fake left and tapped the ball in for the 1-0 lead. Ten minutes later, Ridley Silverlake chipped in with her fourth goal of qualification, giving the ball some wicked spin as it arced right over Aragon and dropped down and into the net. Mike Nolan had something to say as well, as he slammed home the third goal, firing a shot that Aragon had no chance to get. The ball was past him before he could even react. Just like that, 31 minutes in, Vikings up 3-0. There was still fight in the Longhorns though, as after Nolan's goal, they managed to work their way up field to get into an attacking position. Sadly, a mistimed slide by Brian Bash earned him a yellow card for slamming into Cole Harmen and taking him down hard. Harmen managed to trick Justin Keys and won the penalty shot, bringing his team on the board in the 38th minute.

The second half was all about the Vikings again, as they went right back to work, moving the ball and looking for an opportunity to shoot. Many passes later, Nolan found himself alone with Aragon and another goal was scored. Four - one read the scoreboard. However, the goals still kept coming. Ten minutes after Nolan scored his second goal, Y'la E'jas was shown a yellow card for pushing Jack Russell hard. Sadly for the Longhorns, E'jas decided to push him while it appeared that Russell was going to shoot. So a second penatly shot was awarded and Russell increased the Vikings lead yet again. Brian Dougood must have wanted to get in on the action, as after play started again, he managed to steal the ball from Raul DeMailer. Dougood then proceeded to take the ball himself and worked up the field. Showing unbelievable ball control, Dougood left several defenders and midfielders in his wake, wondering how he got past. Finally, he shoot, an arching shot from at least 20 feet out, that managed to slip past Aragon for the 6-1 goal that would end the shooting on the night.

Both Schiavonia and Vaum and Isma defeated their opponents of Northern Caesarea and Mr Chuck Norris 4-2 and 2-1 respectivly. Therefore the standings have not changed a bit, which means that the same rules are still in affect. More importantly, that means that the Vikings are in control, as they only need a draw to theoretically qualify, as Vaum and Isma would be level with Fmjphoenix on points, but the nebulous goal difference would eliminate the Whites and Azures from contention. So, with a must win situation in hand, you can expect the Vikings to come out with all they have to once again return to the World Cup Finals.

Fmjphoenix 6 - 1 Risa Aramour

Russell 11, 67, Silverlake 21, Nolan 31, 57, Dougood 77- Harmen 38

World Cup 29 Qualification
------------------------------------------------------------
MD01: Fmjphoenix 5 - 1 Zychibastan
MD02: Fmjphoenix 4 - 2 Schiavonia
MD03: Vaum and Isma 0 - 3 Fmjphoenix
MD04: Fmjphoenix 8 - 1 Mr Chuck Norris
MD05: Northern Caesarea 1 - 1 Fmjphoenix
MD06: Risa-Aramour 2 - 1 Fmjphoenix
MD07: Warrior Treblah 1 - 5 Fmjphoenix
MD08: Zychibastan 0 - 4 Fmjphoenix
MD09: Schiavonia 3 - 2 Fmjphoenix
MD10: Fmjphoenix 0 - 1 Vaum and Isma
MD11: Mr Chuck Norris 2 - 3 Fmjphoenix
MD12: Fmjphoenix 2 - 0 Northern Caesarea
MD13: Fmjphoenix 6 - 1 Risa-Aramour
MD14: Fmjphoenix ? - ? Warrior Treblah
------------------------------------------------------------
Record: 9-1-3 | 44 - 15
------------------------------------------------------------
Goal Scorers:
M. Nolan - 21
B. Dougood - 7
J. Russell - 7
R. Silverlake - 4
S. Timmett - 3
A. Jenkins - 2

Nedalia

06-07-2006, 14:53

The Nedalia Lions

Lions One Slip Away from Cup of Harmony

Kafra, Nedalia - It shouldve been the match that sealed it. Preparations were certainly underway for the immense party that was to follow the home match agaisnt 3rd placed Molvania after the Lions had defeated them. Instead, a silenced stadium and a shell-shocked nation put their celebration plans on hold, possibly for alot longer than they would hope.

"We did everything we had to do before the match, but it seems we forgot all during," commented manager Sam Dilford. "There is no excuse for the performance we pulled tonight. We owed to the fans and the country to seal the deal here, but instead we came away embarressed and defeated."

The 2-1 loss to Molvania has now seen their opponents tied on points with Nedalia, although the Lions do carry a much larger goal difference than the Molvanians (+7 for the Nedalians). The heroics of the Molvanian players certainly sent their own nation into euphoria, but Nedalia was unusually silent throughout the night after the match, as if the nation was in mourning.

A lacklustre first half from the Lions saw them go down 1-0 thanks to a penalty given away by central defender Ben Turner at the 29th minute mark, which was neatly tucked in by by their captain. Even after the goal, Nedalia failed to press forward, and were lucky not to go down 2-0 right before the halfway mark when a blitzing strike went flying past Hard Dans and hit the post.

The 2nd half was a different story alltogether; the Lions refound their sense of urgency and attacking flair, going forward in numbers and with a purpose. They broke through the Molvanian defence at the 67th minute mark, when Nene delivered a through ball for Tim James, who neatly tucked away the ball and equalized for the Lions, sending the stadium into complete chaos.

Just 4 minutes before the final whistle, however, the the noise would die out completely as a corner turned into a header which turned into a goal delivered Molvania the shock win at the Kafra International Stadium. A stunned Lions squad remained on the pitch long after the match was over, being consoled by the coaching staff, putting into pictures the feeling that swept over the nation.

All is not lost, however. Molvania now have to travel to The Kazoo Peoples for their final match, not the easiest of fixtures, while the Lions remain in Nedalia to face before last placed Ozzelia, a team they defeated 2-0 away from home. Although all the Lions have to do is maintain the same level of points as the Molvanians, as the goal difference probably wont be breached, Dilford will absolutely be going for an allout win against one of the weakest teams in the group, on paper.

Jeruselem has already ensured that their will be full coverage of both the Nedalia and Molvania match simultaneously around the nation and around the universe, and campaigns in support of the Nedalians are in full affect there. Although they have ensured of their qualifications, Nedalians have also been seen willing their friends to gain that top spot over Ariddia, a team the Lions know well.

With such support behind the Lions, they are hoping to follow in their neighbors' Bettia's footsteps and seal the deal, advancing to their 2nd straight World Cup. Come on Lions! Dont fail us now!!!

Tadjikistan

06-07-2006, 15:46

Tigers crush Ozzelia: 5-0

Dushanbe - Today's match could be considered friendly and thus experimental. The Ozzelians were eliminated a while ago and the Tigers have already qualified for the Cup. Most outsiders said it would be a boring game without any stars or spectacle, but they were wrong. Monhakyiev showed up with his best eleven men and gave away a show the Tadjiks will not quickly forget.

The Ozzelians on the other hand, were here because they had to and the Ozzelian side underwent the great Tadjik offensive of Matchday 13. Inspired by their own successes so far and motivated to do the best thay can, the Tigers made quick work of Ozzelia and finished the job in the first half with goals by Tulberdiev, Kirponos and Zyrianov.

An even more disgruntled opponent started the game more defensively and managed to hold the Tigers of for a while until Tulberdiev broke out on the left flank and curled a high shot past the goalkeeper into the right corner. And even that was not enough for the Tigers, thirsty for more they kept probing the Ozzelian center and found an opening in the 81st minute, the Ozzelian goalkeeper jumped for Yarygins shot but he could not stop it.

Amazed by his teams performance, Monhakyiev was already dreaming of great victories: 'With a squad like this, we simply cant lose. We might get further than we ever did on any previous World Cup, Quarterfinals or Semi-finals are definitly possible.' And eventhough this victory was achieved against a much weaker team, Monhakyiev remained positive 'Yes, its true that they arent exactly the strongest side in this group, but we've seen such weak teams before, they can really give you a hard time, remember Georgonia on the last day of the WC27 qualifications.'

Tadjikistan 5-0 Ozzelia
Tulberdiev '35 '72, Zyrianov 43', Kirponos '30, Yarygin '81

Fixtures:
MD1: Tadjikistan - Iansisle W 3-0
MD2: Tadjikistan - Nedalia W 2-0
MD3: The Kazoo Peoples - Tadjikistan L 1-2
MD4: Tadjikistan - Kirstiriera W 4-1
MD5: Molvania - Tadjikistan W 1-4
MD6: Ozzelia - Tadjikistan W 2-4
MD7: Dicuban - Tadjikistan W 0-3
MD8: Iansisle - Tadjikistan W 2-3
MD9: Nedalia - Tadjikistan W 0-1
MD10: Tadjikistan - The Kazoo Peoples W 3-0
MD11: Kirstiriera - Tadjikistan W 0-4
MD12: Tadjikistan - Molvania W 2-0
MD13: Tadjikistan - Ozzelia W 5-0
MD14: Tadjikistan - Dicuban

Tadjik Topscorers
Tulberdiev - 14
Zyrianov - 10
Berzarin - 5
Elisarov - 4
Yarygin - 2
Nabiyev - 1
Maximov - 1
Gyurza - 1
Kirponos - 1

Raging Penguins

06-07-2006, 20:33

The Bloco'yce Courier

The Team beaten by Waffles

Once again, in a match against the Spaamanian Waffles, The Team was outclassed and outmatched. During the first half, Normal Penguin and DMYS struggled to mantain a defense, while Wild Penguin and Furious Porridge fought to break through the Waffles' defense. Mrs. Tweezly, in an unusual act of sheer cruelty, handed out worksheets to each of the Spaamanian players, and even went so far as to hand out tests to the horrified crowd of spectators(she has yet to apologize for the act, despite international outrage).

Devious Penguin, showing his cunning side, had smuggled venomous snakes into the Spaamanian changing room, although the penguin had forgotten to open the crates, so it was only after coach Tamsyn Pengally grew curious and opened one after the beginning of the second half that it grew very apparant that the hissing noise was not, as the Waffles had believed, a problem with the plumbing. Obese Penguin, tired out from the last match, collapsed on the pitch, although his recumbent form still managed to block several shots made by Spaamanian forwards Uren and Trevelyan. Irritated Penguin, his beak still in a cast managed to make an appearance in the first half, although he was forced to leave after Crewenna Roskelly elbowed him in the face, causing Irritated great pain and anguish, which he then generously shared with the Waffles midfielder.

As Willie Dee tried to reason with his symbiote, the Waffles scored, resulting in The Extremely Dangerous Hair ripping up the goalposts in a fit of follicle-wracking anger. Foriegn officials are considering a class-action suit against The Team, due to the many goal-posts which have been flattened, torn up, or otherwise destroyed as a direct result of their gameplay, causing Furious Porridge to remark that having the late Ron Absnyll(killed during a match against an even less sane, and more violent team) had come with some bonuses, many of which resulted in The Team being allowed out of foriegn countries, or simply allowed out of jail.

However, after several minor life-threatening incidents(The Extremely Dangerous Hair trying to consume Pomre, Wild Penguin chasing midfielder Trethaway across the pitch, and Mrs. Tweezly lecturing defender Venton), the highlight of the game occured. ABSOLUT LUNATIC, managing to wildly flail himself to the opposite end of the pitch, flung himself at the Spaamanian keeper, Feoca Arthur, in such a way that Arthur was flung from the ground and landed on his upper back, knocking him unconcious and sending the Spaamanian into a coma. Diego Parker, once again refereeing for The Team, finally called it, and LUNATIC left the pitch.

Deprived of their captain, The Team began to finally play fairly well, with Willie Dee aggressively blocking shots, and Devious Penguin calling forth hordes of brain-washed car salesmen to attack the Waffles. The hordes were stopped, after a fan in the stands held up a poster advertising a model of the newest model of domestic tank, the Humbler. This caused the brain-washed masses to storm the stands, effectively foiling Devious's plan. Shortly afterwards, the Waffles began an attack on The Team's defense, the sounds of sales-pitches still audible in the stadium. As the Waffles forwards conducted a confusing attack strategy, Normal Penguin and DMYS rolled Obese Penguin into various strategic positions in order to effectively block off the goal. This almost worked, until Wild Penguin came charging down the pitch, colliding with the over-wieght defender, and sending both careening off the pitch. This gave forward Tehta Treveleyan an open shot, and the game was won by the Waffles.

The Waffles' post-game celebration was cut short, however, by the crates filled with deadly serpents, which a spiteful Devious Penguin broke open during the revelry. As a direct result of this, a stadium janitor opened a very popular animal control center, which doubles as a pet shop. We wish him luck.

((OOC: Spaam, you should have killed off one of mine as well!:p))

Qazox

06-07-2006, 21:28

QSPN FOOTBALL WEEKLY

Ben Rottenburger: So it will come down to the last match of the Qualifying as Qazox lost yesterday 2-0 at Bazalonia and Cataduanes won against Tinsuvilia. This means the final game against Bostopia at Esatdio de Toro Rojo in Cuidad de Iguana tommorrow at noon. Cataduanes will host Green Wombat.

Here are the Senarios remaining:

QAZOX WIN or QAZOX LOSS AND CATADUANES LOSS- QAZOX Qualifies for Cup.

QAZOX DRAW and CATADUANES LOSS OR DRAW- Qazox Qualifies for Cup.
QAZOX DRAW or LOSS and CATADUANES WIN- Cataduanes Qualifies for Cup.

This next match is the most important match the Black Oxen will play in thier young history. Win and they're in, lose and its 4 more years of waiting.

For QSPN I'm Ben Rottenburger.

FINAL MATCH STATS:
QAZOX- 0
Bazalonia- 2 Peter "Wolfie" Hobble 33', 77'
BOOKINGS:
Yellow:
Qazox: Goya 56'

Sarzonia

06-07-2006, 22:58

Jay McAlpin fidgeted in his seat as the countdown began. He practiced this interview for weeks and every time he did, he always screwed something up. The chair never felt so uncomfortable and the lights so hot or blinding as they did right now.

Sitting across from him, looking very impassively was Incorporated Football Federation Chairman Dave Wilson. The man. The living legend of Sarzonian football. He just hoped someone wasn't conspiring with Wilson to drop a bucket of water on his head or something.

Finally, he heard, "and action!" Time to get the party started.

"Hello everyone, and welcome to another edition of Stars Football Weekly. I'm your host Jay McAlpin and I'm here with the legend himself, Incorporated Football Federation Chairman and former Stars Coach Dave Wilson. How are you Dave?"

"Not well," Wilson grumbled.

Oh shit, McAlpin thought.

"Wha-what's wrong?"

"There weren't enough pieces of pepperoni on the pizza in the dressing room," he said with a smirk. McAlpin laughed. The running joke on set was that Luigi was too generous with the pepperoni when he made the pizzas.

"Anything you want to talk about with this Stars team?"

"Well, the team has certainly played above expectations in qualifying," Wilson said. "When we were announced as the second seeds in the group and we had a brand new team, I don't think anyone thought we'd go into the final match of qualifying having already wrapped up not only a spot in the World Cup, but also the group title."

"While Sarzonia's path to the finals is set, the battle for the second spot in the group isn't. Can you tell me about the implications there?"

"Sure. Right now, Rejistania are one point ahead of Kericia for the second and final slot. The easiest outcome for them is if they win or if Kericia lose, the Orange-Blues are in, no matter what. If anything else happens, that's when it gets tricky."

"How so?"

"With the Orange-Blues ahead by one point, if both teams draw, Rejistania are in. If Rejistania lose and Kericia draw, the Orange-Blues advance because Kericia can't make up the goal differential. However, if Kericia win and the Orange-Blues lose, the world's eighth ranked side gets sent packing."

"Any predictions for those matches?"

"Well, Kericia have it much tougher than Rejistania. Kericia will be home to the group's third seed coming in, Kelse. The Orange-Blues will be home to Aigosthena, a team that wasn't expected to contend and haven't contended for anything but the wooden spoon. The chances that Kericia will win are there. The chances that Rejistania will lose are highly unlikely, but I would have said the same thing about our losing to The Kazoo Peoples or Casari at World Cup XXVII. The point is, you can't know until you play the games."

"Do you have any comments about any of the other teams the Stars have faced so far?"

"In all honesty, I'm trying to focus my energies on Sarzonia's footballers. Anything else isn't really on my radar screen."

"What about picking a technical director for the Stars? It's not a position you've had to fill in the past."

"Well, I'll drop a bombshell for you. Cal Trottier has declined the position and he was our first choice. We offered the position to Barry Owens, but he's decided to remain in Yafor 2 if they'll keep him. We're going with Brett Hancock as the technical director. You heard it here first."

"I-i-is this a joke?"

"Jay, I'm serious. I know what it's going to look like, but sometime after the World Cup began, Brett and I had a long talk about the situation he left as head coach and we came to terms over a lot of what happened there. He really has a strong head for personnel and the players whom he's coached have a world of respect for him. The guy physically stood up to Francisco Ibanez. That speaks volumes to a player when their coach is going to battle for you. That's the kind of energy we want the team to have long-term."

"Well, you heard it on this program first: Brett Hancock will become the new technical director for the Stars. Has he decided anything about the coaching position?"

"Why should he? Mark Wingate and his staff have done an unbelieveable job with a brand new team. Brett doesn't want to change horses mid-race like the Orange-Blues did. If we do well in the World Cup, Mark's going to be coach for a while."

"How do you define doing well?"

"Good question," Wilson said thoughtfully. "Obviously, our goal is always to hoist the World Cup, but considering our underperforming in the last three World Cups, getting to the quarterfinals would be considered a successful effort for this team. If we go farther than that, it'll definitely be a positive for Mark's future with the team.

"Can you address the Sir Douglas Freech situation?"

"If he's got an opportunity to return to Liverpool England and he wants to go, I'm not going to stand in his way. But I'm also not going to push him out the door here. He's not a Bedistani or a Starblaydi, you know."

"All right, that about does it for this edition of Stars Football Weekly. Sorry I didn't have the opportunity to answer your calls, but our interview segment went a little long. Tune in next week when I have Brian Wilson and Horace Sandt, two assistant coaches who can recall the glory days of Stars football. Til then, I'm Jay McAlpin, thank you for joining us."

"And cut!"

McAlpin then sank into his chair, aware of the oppressive heat cast by the studio lighting and the surprises dealt by Dave Wilson's interview. But boy did the Stars have some news.

Casari

06-07-2006, 23:35

Yay, I forgot to post the RP cutoff.

Quakmybush

07-07-2006, 00:48

THEY ARE IN !!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Quakmybush national soccer team clinched a birth into the world cup proper today with a 0-0 draw with Tynelia, along with Praying2God and Bothens 1-1 draw. The team is not surprised, they knew they could do it. Next up will be the World Cup proper, which nothing has been announced about.

Nedalia

07-07-2006, 01:08

The Nedalia Lions

Nene Wills Nedalia to 2nd Straight World Cup Appearance

Kafra, Nedalia - It could not have been a more fitting ending for the Lions; undoubtably the finest footballer Nedalia has ever produced thus far rising above the rest, literally, to power the Lions past Ozzelia and into the World Cup. Despite being 34 years old, and despite the many cries that the legendary left winger was past his best, he displayed perhaps his finest effort in a Lions jersey to date; in fact, it might have been the finest display of any player to have donned the yellow, green, and red.

Going into the match, the Lions were given one option by manager Sam Dilford: win, or go home. He had made sure that no news of the match between The Kazoo Peoples and Molvania, who were tied on poitns with the Lions and desperately were hoping for a Nedalian implosion, would get through to the bench, instead focusing the squad at the task at hand. It was seemingly much tougher that it looked.

The first match between these two sides ended in a 2-0 victory for the Lions away from home, but despite the fact that Ozzelia had nothing left to play for, they came out with intent to disrupt and destroy a nation's hopes and dreams from the get-go. Much like the previous match against the Molvanians, the Lions came out flat footed in one of their most important matches in their history, and nearly conceded a goal in the 14th minute had it not been for a spectacular defensive play by Mohammed Khadra.

Throughout the match, Nedalia went continuously to one player: Nene. Ozzelia could not contain him; in fact, analysts suggest after the game that if he had taken more shots (he took only 2, both were on target, and one was the goal for the Lions), Nedalia would have easily won this game by a much larger margin. Always creating, he looked 10 years younger than the match programme suggested, bringing back memories of his now fading blistering pace and phenomenal dribbling ability. Three or four Ozzelian players seemingly surrounded him everytime he touched the ball, but much more often than not, he would glide past them, producing the form that saw him transfer to the Vilitan league for $29.1 million all those years ago.

The fact that it was he who scored the winning goal with 11 minutes remaining on the clock during the 2nd half was all the more telling; he did it all for the Lions. His sense of urgency, his determination, and his will shone above all others, putting a display that will place him in the Nedalian history books forever. The corner kick that was taken by Constantine rose above the center of the penalty area to be met by one man, jumping feet above the rest, powering the ball into the back of the net with his head. Critics state that it was against one of the weakest teams in the entire campaign; regardless, at 34 years old, Nene has to know this is his last chance to make it big on the World Cup stage.

World Cup 28 and World Cup 24 served as a potential platform for Nene to show his genius; both times he failed to live up to the high expectations set before him. Nedalia has yet to know what a victory feels like on the World Cup stage with a record of 0-0-6, and the world has yet to see the real side of Nene. Sam Dilford has already stated his intention to give the captaincy to his left winger for World Cup 29; current captain Trent Hardman has more than obliged. Nene will lead Nedalia's most famous and most accomplished footballers out on the pitch for their very last hurrah, a list that includes Hardman, Innit Point, Mohammed Khadra, and Hans Lamm, among others.

He is 34 years old, and he's retiring from international football after World Cup 29. So are the rest of those mentioned above. Most of them came up together through the U21 side, with most of them lifting the U21 World Cup trophy during U21 WC 16. Most have accomplished all they can on the club level, winning all types of accolades in some of the finest leagues around the universe. They have one thing on their mind: a sense of accomplishment at the World Cup stage. A sense of fulfillment. Classified as Nedalia's 2nd generation of footballers, they are by far the finest the country has ever seen. Players have come and gone throughout the years, making cameo appearances on the team, but none have been able to unseat the legends. They have one last chance to show what they're worth.

Nene has one last chance to show that he belongs with the greats of the universe. One last chance to have his name echo for World Cups to come. One last chance to live forever.

New Montreal States

07-07-2006, 01:38

Not, On The Whole, The Greatest Day For The States

Atheists with missiles and monks out of the Cup make for a fairly lame Thursday

NEW MONTREAL - A variety of news, either alarming, depressing, or both, swept across the States yesterday.

First, announcements from government monitoring radar, corroborated by reports from neighboring countries, have led us to conclude that the godless fundamentalists of Atheistic Right have the bomb. Five bucks says that New Montreal is high on their target list; five more says that they'll try and mop up the rest of the countryside once they learn how to read a map printed in French.

The remainder of AO appears to be on edge - rightly so, at that - but the government has announced the provisional mobilization of three carrier battle groups, and has put SDI forces on the highest alert level possible. We can rest assured that [censored] will [censored] in the event of an nuclear or conventional missile launch, and then we will [censored] AR like Paris Hilton on camera, only with more napalm.

In the meanwhile, a win by Kaze Progressa has put them into the Cup over the heads of our friends in the Archregimancy. We'd like to reassure them that it could be worse - they don't have total nutjobs pointing missiles at them. Likewise for the Boyars of Magnus Valerus, whose upset qualification campaign has been cut short as well.

On a wholly irrelevant side note, the U21s demolished Ulyanova 6-0 last night, spearheaded by the play of Billy Corcoran with a hat-trick, currently being bruted about as a potential successor to either Gilles Villeneuve or Hubert Labranche, or possibly as a candidate for Hugh Faulkner's spot in the midfield, depending on who steps down first. André Crèvecoeur, Guillaume Vaillancourt and Sénéchal St-Édouard scored the other three goals. William Branstone has announced that Corcoran and defenseman Louis Béran will ride the pine in either Krytenia, Casari, or some combination of the two, depending on how things play out. He also mentioned Crèvecoeur and Vaillancourt as possible subs, depending on "what the hell I feel like tomorrow morning." He then went back to getting a back rub from an attractive attendant in the Paladins Secret Hideout somewhere in the tropics of AO.

PALADINS 6 - Corcoran 4, 19, 78, Crèvecoeur 34, Vaillancourt 50, St-Édouard 76
ULYANOVA 0

TOURNAMENT SCORING

Villeneuve 7
H. Labranche 6
Faulkner 4
Corcoran 3
Toussaint 3
Pilon 2
Tessier 2
Crèvecoeur 1
Darcy 1
Hunyadi 1
F. Labranche 1
Plattsburgh 1
St-Édouard 1
Vaillancourt 1

Sliponia

07-07-2006, 01:48

Slips Close With a Draw
Slips pull to an 'even' 7 draws, 7 losses.

SLIPONIA--The Slips closed their WC29 against a tough Elrich team with a 1-up draw. Recently there has been talk of a resignation by manager George Brett and his staff after a dismal showing.

Elrich took the lead in the 28th minute with a well placed corner kick that was out of reach for keeper Mike Davis. Sliponia, fearing they would lose their last match pushed hard and was able to put an equalizer in the back of the net in the 88th minute to preserve what little dignity could be saved.

More information to follow on the fallout of a potential coaching change.

Sliponia WC29 Scorers
11 Gerald Parenteau (3)
23 Andrew Williams (3)
10 Jason Finley (2)
25 Keith Grey (1)
Sliponia WC29 Results
Sliponia vs. Jeruselem [L: 3-0]
Sliponia vs. Khenas [D: 0-0]
Sliponia vs. Ariddia [L: 4-0]
Sliponia vs. Mahaliastan [L: 1-0]
Sliponia vs. Wentland [L: 3-2]
Sliponia vs. Artoonia [D: 1-1]
Sliponia vs. Elrich [D: 1-1]
Sliponia vs. Jeruselem [D: 0-0]
Sliponia vs. Khenas [D: 1-1]
Sliponia vs. Ariddia [L: 3-1]
Sliponia vs. Mahaliastan [L: 2-1]
Sliponia vs. Wentland [D: 0-0]
Sliponia vs. Artoonia [L: 2-1]
Sliponia vs. Elrich [D: 1-1]

The Archregimancy

07-07-2006, 02:24

FOOTBALLING PARADISE LOST

An Epic Poem by Fr. John of the Mill Town

OF our squad’s failure to qualify, and all our woe,
With loss of Eden, till a greater Team
Restore us, and regain the blissful Seat of the finals,
Sing Heav'nly Muse, that on the secret top
Of Oreb, or of Sinai, didst inspire
That Shepherd, who first taught Milchama’s ancestors,
In the Beginning how the Heav'ns and Earth
Rose out of Chaos. Or if Sion Hill
Delight thee more, and Siloa's Brook that flow'd
Fast by the Oracle of God; I thence
Invoke thy aid to my adventrous Song,
That with no middle flight intends to soar
Above th' field of footballing play, while it pursues
Things unattempted yet in Prose or Rhime.

Say first, for Heav'n hides nothing from thy view
Nor the deep Tract of Hell, say first what cause
Mov'd our team from that happy State of quarterfinalists,
Favour'd of Heav'n so highly, to fall off
From their Creator, and transgress his Will
So that they fell ‘neath Chicanada and Kaze Progressa.

Who first seduc'd them to their current state?
Th' incompetent Coach; he it was, whose guile
Stird up with Envy and Revenge, deceiv'd
The Monastic Football Association.
Mixt with obdurate pride and stedfast underestimation
He now surveys the dismal Situation waste and wilde,
No light, but rather darkness visible
Serv'd only to discover sights of woe,
Regions of sorrow, doleful shades, where peace
And rest can never dwell, hope never comes
That comes to all; but torture without end.
For surely our failure to beat so many low-ranked teams
Hath brought our squad to the very brink of perdition;
Notwithstanding two victories o’er Milchama.

If thou playest on our squad; But O how fall'n! how chang'd
From them, who in the happy Realms of Light
Cloth'd with transcendent brightnes didst outshine
Myriad opponents in previous Cups!
United thoughts and counsels, equal hope,
And hazard in the Glorious Enterprize,
Joynd with me once, now misery hath joynd
In equal ruin: into what Pit thou seest
From what highth fal'n, so much the stronger provd
Kaze Progressa and Chicanada: and till then who knew
The force of those mighty teams?

O Coach of many Champion teams,
That led th' imbattelld Orthodox to Play.
Too well I see and rue the dire event,
That with sad overthrow and foul defeat
Hath lost us Qualification, and all our mighty Squad
In horrible destruction laid thus low,
As far as Men and Heav'nly passes
Can Perish: for the mind and spirit remains
Invincible, and vigour soon returns,
Though all our Glory extinct, and happy state
Here swallow'd up in endless misery.

Seest thou yon dreary Pitch, forlorn and wilde,
The seat of desolation, voyd of light,
Save what the glimmering of these livid floodlights
Casts pale and dreadful? Thither let us tend
From off the tossing of those who would defeat us,
There rest, if any rest can harbour there,
And reassembling our afflicted Powers,
Consult how we may henceforth most offend
Opposing squads, our own loss how repair,
How overcome this dire Calamity,
What reinforcement we may gain from Hope,
If not what resolution from despare.

We shall return and qualify for World Cup 30.

Oliverry

07-07-2006, 03:07

Jonathan Fairbanks made knight of the Légion d'Honneur Oliverrienne after a perfect record of 14-0-0 in World Cup Qualifying!

The ceremony was held in presence of all the team and the medias. Jioulit Twaxlit, as the Master of the Légion d'Honneur, was the presiding officer. He also took the time to tell everyone in the room that this ceremony was also the officialization of Jonathan Fairbanks' citizenry of Oliverry. As only Oliverrian citizens might receive that order, the person that receive it must be made citizen at the same time or before if he is not. Twaxlit even said to joke that "he would make every player of the national team peers, but the constitution, as a republic, prohibits him to do so." After his intronization, Fairbanks also thanked his team, his parents in Milchama (there were Milchamian medias also there) and his friends all over Oliverry and the world.

This guy will really be loved everywhere...

(Article taken from Le Communiste, communist newspaper whose Headquarters are in Communiste, SF)

Haraki

07-07-2006, 04:14

Post-qualifying roundup:

Hawks Lose ... A Lot.
From the Haraki News Network, Print Edition

Sam Sherman, Atherlon. The Hawks finished off qualifying with four straight ties: 1-1 to Cuation, 2-2 to Becquerelia, 1-1 to Spaamanian Plijous and 1-1 to System Karela. It is worth noting that in all three where Haraki scored only one goal, it was only thanks to the heroics of team captain Mike Zendar, who racked up a record-setting thirteen goals in qualifying, an impressive 46% of Harakian goals scored overall, further cementing his position as Haraki's all-time best forward.

The Harakian team was lacklustre. Although the offence showed some promise, many of the players seemed not to be living up to their full potential. Either the team will start training much harder and much earlier for World Cup 30, or many of the players will most likely be replaced. The defence was absolutely horrible, with only one starter remaining from last year, leaving far too many shots on goal for Mark Stone or Christopher O'Hara, as talented as they are, to stop. O'Hara's replacement of Stone halfway through qualifying seemed a good sign, with Haraki improving overall play at halfway but still falling far short of expectations.

The offence actually recorded its best World Cup campaign ever, with more goals scored in this qualifying campaign than in any other before, counting WC28 qualifying together with WC28 itself. In World Cup 27 qualifying, the team recorded 19 goals, with Mike Zendar taking 8 of them. In World Cup 28 qualifying and the Cup itself, the team took 23 goals, with Zendar taking 10. And this qualifying campaign, the team managed an astonishing 28 goals (Zendar got 13), with only 20 teams performing better offensively. Haraki managed to pull off a goal difference of 0, with 28 goals in each net. However, the Hawks' goals for were severely helped by three games over four weeks (The third of four was a 1-0 loss) in which the Hawks scored fifteen goals total.

Although there had been talks of the Harakian Football Association firing veteran coach Lloyd Vargas for the team's poor performance, they appear to be waiting until after the Cup of Harmony to make a final judgment. It is quite possible that if the Hawks crash out of that tournament as well, Vargas will be removed, although who knows how the team would perform under a different leader?

This reporter is going to wait until after the Cup of Harmony finishes to give an accurate assessment of the team's performance, as I know they can do better than this. I will leave you now with some useless statistics about the Kaw's performance.

Goal scorers:
Zendar: 13
Thompson: 5
Weber: 4
Vern: 2
Angelica: 1
Sharp: 1
Neils: 1
S. Ribald: 1

Record: 3-6-5 over 14 matchdays.
TIE 1-1 vs. Intyny
LOSS 4-1 at Audioslavia
WIN 6-1 vs. Elves Security Forces
WIN 5-3 vs. Cuation
LOSS 1-0 at Becquerelia
TIE 4-4 at Spaamanian Plijous
LOSS 1-0 at System Karela
WIN 3-1 at Intyny
LOSS 4-1 vs. Audioslavia
LOSS 3-2 at Elves Security Forces
TIE 1-1 at Cuation
TIE 2-2 vs. Becquerelia
TIE 1-1 vs. Spaamanian Plijous
TIE 1-1 vs. System Karela

See you for the Cup of Harmony.

Sam Sherman is the extremely disillusioned football reporter for the HNN.

Qazox

07-07-2006, 05:19

QSPN FOOTBALL WEEKLY

Ben Rottenburger: Truly the saddest day in Qazoxian Football history as Unranked Bostopia pulls off one of the bigger upsets beat The Black Oxen 3-1. Coupled with Cataduanes 2-0 win over Green WOmbat, The Black Oxen once again fall points short of qualifing for the Cup. After the match, Head Coach Jason Bourne was fired and 5 players from the team will retire from international play...after the Cup of Harmony takes place. (OOC: I'm un-boycotting the COH ). Helena Sexton and Harden Homer stalwarts of the defense will call it quits now. While Maria Gretzky, John Frorr and Jamie Bookman will quit after the CoH. Bookman is retiring due to a chronically ailing knee that has not responded well to surgeries and Gretzky and Frorr are retiring to start a family as they announced just before that match that they will be married. Helena Sexton is going to be the Head Coach of Bruxen in the W-League while Harden Homer is taking the head coaching job of his home town Bruxen City in the QFL.

Replacements for these players have not yet been made, but it expected that some members of the Lady Oxen National team will make the team.

Praying2God

07-07-2006, 05:27

Bedistan

07-07-2006, 05:57

http://bellsouthpwp.net/h/a/harleyt_1387/bsd_banner.png

Lions don't get perfect record; fans call for investigations, overthrow of system

SONOMA CITY -- The nation is outraged as World Cup 29 qualifying comes to a close with Bedistan not having taken the full 42 points from its 14 matches.

"This ****ing system sucks!" said Myron Rogers of Chelmsford. "Damn it, we've been doing this for a hundred years, we should be winning every match at least 20-0! You mean to tell me other teams are actually able to take points off us? It's an undeniable sign of corruption within the World Cup Committee, and a sign that this whole system is ****ed up and needs to start completely over!"

"I'm moving out of the country," added Tess McMillan of Griffin. "I've had it with the corruption and the utter unrealism of it all, and I'm not going to support a nation that's still involved in this wretched scheme ever again! And I urge all others to boycott this and all future World Cups and related tournaments!"

A sports analyst in IJsselmeer who attempted to explain that the Bedistan Lions are not the OMFG RAWRCRUSH INVINCIBLE RULERS OF TEH WORLD!!!!!!!!!!111!!!11!@21one was promptly stoned to death by a crowd of onlookers. The onlookers were charged with disturbing the peace and sentenced to three months of forced searching for lives.

[NS]Bazalonia

07-07-2006, 07:58

WIPED OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH

The nations of Praying2God and Pastorville were both wiped off the face of the earth by an unknown nation who dropped a series of nuclear weapons on both nations, killing all residents of both nations. The motive for the attack is unknown. There are no survivors.
Bazalonian National Enquirer

Atheistic Right Nuclear weapons suspected in Praying2God and Pastorville's destruction - just weeks after the militant rogue nations successful nuclear weapons test both Praying2God and Pastorville get wiped out by nuclear weapons.

It is well known that Atheistic Right is militant against religious-based societies such as Praying2God and Pastorville, in their pre-WC run-down the Atheistic Right media termed the nation "Praying2No-one" as a sample of the nations hatred of nations such as the nations destroyed and the Archregimancy.

No official comment has been made by the Atheistic Right Ministery of War and External Relations or by our own Department of Foriegn Affairs and Trade. But documents obtained by us suggest that Praying2God and Pastorville where on the Top of the target list. The document said something about that the nations of Pastorville and Praying2God had "something coming to them" We will of course keep you updated with the latest on this story as it comes.

*Bazalonian National Enquirer is a tabloid that has no to very little journalistic integrity but they are very carteful about what they print to get around the truth.

Atheistic Right

07-07-2006, 08:18

It was surprisingly easy for the covert teams to get into Pastorville and Praying2God with a duplicate of the nuclear bomb that they had tested on the island all that time ago... they had set up in the middle of the nation and and set the timer off. There was a plan for them to escape but the timer, well was not a timer the nuclear weapons where both set off destroying both Pastorville and Praying2God as well as themselves.

....

Meanwhile in Atheistic Right the tension over the weapon testing had escalated... And many nations from all over the region converged upon Atheistic Right putting preseaure on Atheisitic Right to denounce it's nuclear ambitions, however the ultimatum and the time limit as set by the Starblaydi forces representing the Atlantian Oceania Regional Defense Organisation has passed and there was no word from Atheistic Right a stubborn leader. And so the multi-alliance forces from the SDL, SAAS and other non-aligned nations entered into Atheistic Right, first totally dominating the air before getting on the ground.

The nation had more to worry about apart from it's close brush with potential qualifying... An explosion killing 5 of it's football players was now of no concern as the nation struggled to survive from the immense amount of forces both conventional and unconventional special forces that tried to neutralise the nations potential nuclear arsenel as well as finding out for once what Atheistic Right where truly doing on the island. A secretive underground research complex.

(OOC: This is the last post ever to be made on the Jolt forums, however the actual story of Atheistic Rights destruction will continue. But it's on the Atlantian Oceania forum. Link (http://www.3wideracing.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=1278)

Iansisle

07-07-2006, 08:34

Dew Defeats Truman!
Ians coach claims that wet conditions prevented victory, but is sacked anyway

KIRSTIRIRIRIRIRIRIRERARARARARA --- It was an unusually cold and damp day for football in the Land of a Thousand Stutters, but the officials insisted that conditions were good enough to carry on. One could almost imagine that more of the Ians constant slips in play were due to the weather rather than the infirmity of their players. Truman trotted out his entire starting XI -- even Abernathy, who practically had to be carried on and off the pitch -- just as he had done in the 3-1 demolishing of hapless Dicuban, but it was not quite enough to carry the day.

The wet grass certainly could not have helped the Ians, whose exhaustion at the end of a grueling (and disappointing) qualifying campaign would only have been more obvious had they actually been carrying their oxygen machines on the pitch. More than once, a promising Iansislean offensive drive ended with a slip, a fall, and a turnover.

Brian Lyons scored the first goal of the game ten minutes into the second half on a controversial penalty kick following a foul of John Copplestone in the box. However, the equalizer followed by only a few scant minutes, and time was played out in a disorganized mess of midfield battles.

After the game, Director of Sports, Games, and Recreation Gregory Penns-McCormick (acting in his capacity as the president of the United Footballing Authority of Iansisle (UFAI), which was nationalized during the Gull Flag Revolution) announced that Alexander Truman would not be returning as head coach of the Ians for the Cup of Harmony. Replacing Truman will be relative newcomer Henry Feeley, who coached Republic FC to victory over cross-town rivals Adien in the most recent Iansisle Cup. Although the UFAI’s league play has a long history of game-fixing, bribery, and scandal, many feel that a closer cohesion between international play and the domestic leagues will benefit both aspects of Iansisle’s footballing community.

It is expected that Feeley, who is younger than half the Ians’ roster, will field an entirely new roster for the Cup of Harmony. Truman was quoted as telling his successor “Give them hell, Harry.” However, it ought to be noted that Iansisle’s participation in the CoH is not yet guaranteed. Director Penns-McCormick assured the Star-Tribune Friday that he had been ‘waiting by the phone every day since that game against Nedalia, waiting for our invitation, but it has not yet come.’ Many speculate that Penns-McCormick will not have the initiative to call the NSWC authority to check whether or not the Ians will be allowed to play, even though Star-Tribune sources report that the Director is crying himself to sleep every night.

((ooc: sorry about the long silence. I managed to break another keyboard (in case anyone’s been counting, this is my third or fourth, I think) and have to resort to nicking my brother’s whenever I want anything written. This article was a little shorter and more rushed than I envisioned it because I have to get it back into his room before he comes back from his girlfriend’s house. >.<

Oh, and i’d just like to thank everyone else in Group Six who posted an RP (you know, both of you =P), Jerusalem, and yes, even you MV (I’ll have a post up on Death of Kings as soon as I can. This keyboard thing caught me with my pants down :)). Contrary to public opinion, the fun of NS sports is not in winning, but rather in playing, and it’s always more fun when you know that you’re not the only sucker who cares about the outcome of the game. Best of luck to both Tad and Ned in the finals -- you deserve to be there.))

Spaamanian Plijous

07-07-2006, 09:14

Extract from the Plijous Herald:

Belmore Wins Silver Boot

The Gulls star striker, Alan Belmore, failed to overtake Fmjphoenix's Nolan in the top scorer stakes, but finished second thanks to a goal against Cuation last night. The match, held in Cuation, was always going to be an uphill affair, with both teams fighting for 3rd place in the group. The Imperial Purples scored early in the first half, thanks to Giovanni Hatzori, and were looking strong, but couldn't penetrate the Plijous defense again. The second half saw a Gulls resurgence, with the match becoming increasingly gritty, as the visitors sought an equaliser, and the hosts looked for a match winner. In the end, it was Belmore, with his 19th goal of the season, that equalised in the 83rd minute. With less than ten minutes to go, both teams became very physical to try and break the dead-lock, with a number of yellow cards going both ways. But in the end, time was the winner, with the match ending as a one all draw. Belmore finished his best ever season with 19 goals, second only to Nolan, who had 21 goals coming into the last round. The Gulls finished in 5th place, but were only one point behind third place. They now look forward to the Cup of Harmony, where they hope to make it past the first round.

(8 Hatzori 12) Cuation 1:1 Spaamanian Plijous (1 Belmore 83)

One Red Dot

07-07-2006, 10:42

QUALIFICATIONS OVER, ONE RED DOT MISSES WORLD CUP
7 July 2006
by aSWORD.org.rd

It was a valiant effort, but a 0-2 loss against The Macabees sealed the Wolves fate. Akihito SEHITA saw no chance at defending the goal with the two shots.

Meanwhile, strange things have occured in the TnUI and Spruitland camps, but did not affect the qualification results. TnUI draw with GarfieldtheFat and a Spruitland loss to Dingzawa shocked many in the group, but neither of the results would have affected who would qualify.

The Islands of Qutar

07-07-2006, 11:50

Qutar Sports News Network

Hello everyone out there, we bring you live to the final match of qualification and its right down to the wire with either us, Pastorville or Magnus Valerius could go through.

(------------------------Cuts to exciting part since in an internet café)

We're in injury time here at the stadium of light, and its confirmed Magnus Valerius beat Nikea, and with the game tied at one a piece, Qutar our going out, with Kedalfax's defence holding strong there seems to be no hope, but hand Ali has got the ball, in the midfield he's making a run he's got past one, now two, oh he turns past the defender, he's just outside the box, he takes a shot its in!!!!!!! We're through to the World Cup again!!!!!

Jeruselem

07-07-2006, 13:12

The KOOL report at the World Cup 29

LIONS ROAR AGAIN, Crusader steal top spot

This was written by your intrepid report 1:00 AM in morning wrapped in nothing but a towel on a lounge and drinking some Cute Bunny Cola. So if it rambles too, it's the effect of Cola. I think I just some folks excited just reading this line ... you know girls in towels and Cute Bunny Cola type thing. Cute Bunny Cola is more effective than coffee in keeping folks like me awake for writing some rubbish at the end of the day.

Oh Harry was asleep as well, this World Cup qualification thing takes the energy out of you. Good thing it's over.

Now isn't a great day today! For us, and all our friends involved.

Well, those Nedalian Lions didn't trip over themselves this time. They took on lowly Ozzelia and needed a good result to ensure they would qualify for the 2nd round as rival Molvania also had designs on 2nd spot in Group 6. The Lions did enough with one goal doing the job against an unexpectly difficult Ozzelia. Them Lions fans must have been having stress attacks every time the Lions missed a chance or Ozzelia attacked. Football is not one for weak hearts - whether on the field or just watching it. Well done Lions, it's time to take on the big boys (or girls in some cases) of the World Cup.

Molvania choked so even if Nedalia lost, Molvania would not have made it on goal difference. Molvania got Kazooed to death by the <you know who> team losing 1-2. I think some Lions fans added some Kazoo action in that game, but hey it works. Oh, the Tigers took top spot but that's expected.

Group 6
The Kazoo Peoples 2:1 Molvania
Nedalia 1:0 Ozzelia

Super-duper-uber Spaam took top spot in Group 9. They had secured it last game but went to sleep today. United Island Empires knocked over the Spaamians 4-2 who didn't seem too switched on either but they didn't need to either. Hockey Canada won 2-1 against The NSSR and already had 2nd spot reducing the deficit to 2 points to Spaam. Spaam 1st, Hockey Canada 2nd. Spaam now face the pointy end of the World Cup, the one where being weak is not good.

Group 9
Spaam 2:4 United Island Empires
Hockey Canada 2:1 The NSSR

Mahaliastan did us a real favour by not rolling over to the bigger dog. They played Ariddia and managed to scrape 1 ALL draw which was rather unexpected as we expected Ariddia to smash them 4-0 or something. We did our bit and beat Artoonia 2-0 with a team minus some stars with potential injuries. Not quite the B team but more like the AB team. Druggie Dopan got sent off for diving but we think that was rather harsh. He hit divot in the pitch and fell over on his back. Good thing Artoonia are really bad with penalties. Can't believe they kinda rolled the ball to our keeper as a shot, shocking.

Group 14
Ariddia 1:1 Mahaliastan
Jeruselem 2:0 Artoonia

In the end everyone was happy and made the 2nd round. Shopping day tomorrow! Need a Bunny Rabbit earring you can't find in Jeruselem. Anyway, have to finish another article for the Nedalian press! Writing Arabic at this time of night is not something I want to do even I do use an Arabic word processor to make life easier.

Rachel Kool
Official Football Reporter for JGN

Ariddia

07-07-2006, 13:56

First draw at worst possible time

It was Ariddia’s entire “B team”, fielded for the first time, which faced Mahaliastan in the final qualifying match for both sides. With Ariddia needing a win to remain at the top of Group 14, Melenciuc’s decision was controversial, but the coach insisted that all Ariddian players should be given experience of international play.

Still, most supporters confidently expected a clean win. That confidence began to erode when half-time came and went without a goal having been scored. Chloé al Safi broke the stalemate at last in the fifty-fifth minute, scoring her first World Cup goal, but Mahaliastan equalised nineteen minutes later, and the Rouge-et-Noirs were unable to regain the lead, despite several narrowly missed opportunities.

Partying went ahead nonetheless throughout Ariddia to celebrate qualification, and acting head of State Nuriyah Khadhim ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Nuriyah_bint_Rashad_Khadhim) herself, who had attended the match, congratulated the team. With thirty-four points, and eleven wins in fourteen games, the Rouge-et-Noirs join Jeruselem amongst the thirty-two qualified teams, and carry high hopes of several more victories in the World Cup proper.

GOAL SCORERS (total)
Scored: 33

Ramirez: 8
Faraj: 7
Ul U: 5
Ta I: 3
Kyaw: 2
T.S. Senaya: 2
Sanjeeb: 2
Nam H.-J.: 2
Wol Eosh: 1
C. al Safi: 1

Bettia

07-07-2006, 15:39

Matchday 14, and the Blessed Realm of Bettia is celebrating. A 3-0 win in the home of Bettian footy, Stadiwm Bettia right here in our capital Gabalfa, has seen the Aroras qualify for the finals. Yes, the whole nation is jubilant, and one place where the jubilating is in full swing is our familiar sports café destination type thing, the Pie and Pixie just down the road in Pifton. The tea is flowing, the chocoloate biscuits are disappearing fast, and the regulars are in full song.

"Que sera sera,
Whatever will be will be,
We're going to Casari (or Krytenia),
Que sera sera!"

In amoungst these festivities, our old pal George steps out of the toilet carrying today's paper, looking slightly flushed and strangely relieved.

"George!" yells Ali excitedly. "They did it! They bloody did it!"

"Who did?"

"The Aroras - they won! We're going to the world cup baby, yeah!"

"Excuse me? 'Baby'?"

"I'm sorry, it's something I heard my teenage boy say the other day. But... WE'VE QUALIFIED!!"

"I know, I heard it from the toilet."

"The toilet eh?" says George - looks like his plan was still on track. "Are you okay? How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling... refreshed, like a great big weight's been lifted from my stomach. I tell ya, these last couple of days I've been on and off the bog like nobody's business. Maybe it was those meat pies you gave me the other day. Yesterday was real bad, but today I felt alright, so I nipped out this morning to get the papers from the newsie next door to here when I got.. the urge, if you know what I mean. Luckily Doris was just opening up, so I nipped in here to drop a pound or two, and I've been here ever since."

"Oh right, well at you're okay no... what a minute! You were HERE the whole time?"

"Yep."

"So... you weren't late?"

"Nope."

"You were here on time, and yet... we still won."

"Yep."

"But... I don't understand."

"Why? Shocked because your we-lost-cos-George-got-here-on-time theory turned out to be a load of shite?"

"Yeah... literally. Can you forgive me?"

"Sure - just DON'T buy me dinner tonight!"

Fixtures & Results

MD01: BETTIA 2-0 Spindomia (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)
MD02: Starblaydia 2-0 BETTIA (Sports Hall, Karak D'Ragh)
MD03: BETTIA 5-1 Sexy Games (Al-Fath Stadium, Sukatra)
MD04: BETTIA 1-1 Legalese (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)
MD05: Harlesburg 2-3 BETTIA
MD06: Virginia Nova 1-1 BETTIA
MD07: AwalKB 0-2 BETTIA
MD08: Spindomia 3-5 BETTIA
MD09: BETTIA 0-4 Starblaydia (Alice Street, Butetown)
MD10: Sexy Games 1-1 BETTIA
MD11: Legalese 1-1 BETTIA
MD12: BETTIA 2-1 Harlesburg (Stamping Ground, Lorshill)
MD13: BETTIA 2-0 Virginia Nova (Al-Fath Stadium, Sukatra)
MD14: BETTIA 3-0 AwalKB (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)

Giant Zucchini

07-07-2006, 16:59

Dear diary,

This will probably be my last entry as the head of the Giant Zucchini national football team. Well, it has been an eventful 2 seasons at the helm...but at the same time it has been frustrating, which can be expected when you go against the best in the world...but I'll take many memories from these 8 years in charge, and hopefully it will serve me well in the future. Well, I'll just have to wait and see what other opportunities open up...

I'll miss this job...

D

Chicanada

07-07-2006, 17:23

Chicanada Daily Rabbler
Where Proper Analysis Goes To Die

Finish With A Flourish
The Orange Stars sweep home series, rest for Finals

Eastentown - Did you know that the New Montreal States have nukes pointed at them? No? Neither did we, but apparently it's big news in the Atlantian Oceana. Yet, probably because we're off in a small peninsula far far away from NMS and for some reason don't cover interregional news this comes as a shock.

What's more of a shock is that Coach Yerevan Malli did not let his National Side collapse during the final stretch, getting two more wins (against fellow qualifier Kaze Progressa and East Lithuania) to get a rather astounding 11-3-0 record for the Orange Stars. This is by far the pest run of the Stars in the history of international footy, mostly due to the fact that the team tends to lose a lot and lose at home in the final games to throw qualification away. Or have a seven game match losing streak during WC23 quals. Or attempt to set fire to a stadia due to upset, such as the case with the very off WC27 (which we liked thankyouverymuch) Finals run.

At the National Square, a rested but determined A-side won over Kaze 2-0 thanks to some rather remarcable goalsaving as well as two penaltites taken by Malacki Uroals. Michael Klobee finished as leading scorer for the side thanks to his hattrick in the 3-0 thumping of East Lithuania over at Cananite.

So now the team gets a chance to heal and relax as we wait for Krytenia and Casari to announce the Finals draw and whether or not they will listen to those ousted to change how scores are determined (instead of letting them being kicked into a net, perchance?).

Leading Scorers:
11 - Michael Klobee
9 - Malacki Uroals
4 - Damarus Bastian
4 - Niam Washington
3 - Livingston O'Mier
1 - Helen J'ian
1 - Alex Hedlon
1 - Adam Smith

Official Chicanada Schedule
MD01- W 3-2 Tessan (Starburst Park, Spears Crossings)
MD02- W 4-2 Third England
MD03- T 0-0 The Archregimancy (New Governess Palace, Kinsington)
MD04- W 4-2 Milchama
MD05- W 3-2 Iaukea (Sacred Heart Terrace, Bishop)
MD06- T 1-1 Kaze Progressa
MD07- W 2-1 East Lithuania
MD08- W 2-1 Tessan
MD09- T 2-2 Third England (Mountainside Fairgrounds, Castille)
MD10- W 2-1 The Archregimancy
MD11- W 3-0 Milchama (TroutCo Field, Cana)
MD12- W 3-0 Iaukea
MD13- W 2-0 Kaze Progressa (Southampton National Square)
MD14- W 3-0 East Lithuania (Cananite Pavillion, Paradiso)

In more upbeat news for the longhorns, the Risa-Aramour side finished 5th in Group 3, even with a 6-1 trouncing by Fmjphoenix. A 2-1 loss at Schiavonia did help Olani Pjan save some face and probably her job, as the 5-2-7 result (better than their debut) was enough to have her stay on through World Cup 30. For now. There are rumors that RAFA might be looking abroad for a new coach, with most rumors swerling around Giant Zucchini. Stay tuned to this gossip mill for more news about that.

Spaam

07-07-2006, 19:33

Welcome to Spaam Sports Spotlight! Here are your hosts... Gillian Clemson and Dean Shemp!

Dean: Welcome to SSS, where we report on the best sports news across the world. First up naturally, is football.

Gillian: There has been quite an upstir in the football community as Quakmybush has qualified for the World Cup.

Dean: Upstir indeed! Here is a team which last year had not played a single international game of note, and have suddenly made it to the single greatest sporting event in the world!

Gillian: Numerous national football associations have been complaining about the *coughscorinationcough*, sorry, the refereeing this season, which they believe have allowed Quakmybush to qualify ahead of a number of more established nations.

Dean: The funny thing is, if anything, the refereeing has been boring, as there have been fewer suprises this season than at least the previous three! Sure, a number of nations have performed worse than expected, but nothing nearly as bad as Spaam last season, where they finished last in their group, despite being a second seed!

Gillian: This situation has become so bad, that the vice-vice-president of the NSFA, French Guard, has released a press statement.

<cut to clip>

FG: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt! Thppt!

Reporter 1: What a strange person.

Reporter 2: Now look here, my good man--

FG: I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

Reporter 1: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?

FG: No. Now, go away, or I shall taunt you a second time-a!

<cut back to studio>

Dean: In other news, the president of the Praying2God Football Association was seen pouting and sulking. Seconds before the entire nation blew up.

Gillian: Closer to home, Spaamanian Plijous star striker Alan Belmore was awarded the silver boot, being the second biggest goal scorer in this qualifying season. He finished with a record 19 goals, second only to Fmjphoenix's Nolan, who scored 22.

Dean: Doesn't he have a first name?

Gillian: No, he changed it to Nolan. Just Nolan.

Dean: Kinda like Clem?

Gillian: The Lemmitanian commentator? No, he was always Clem Gilson.

Dean: You sure?

Gillian: Yes.

Dean: Hmmm. Anyway, ABSOLUT LUNATIC, the Raging Penguins striker who took out Waffles star keeper Feoca Arthur, faced a disciplinary hearing at the NSFA headquarters today. Unfortunately, he flipped out, jumped out a window, and landed. 8 stories down. He is currently in a serious and critical condition at hospital.

Gillian: Meanwhile, Arthur has awoken from his coma, and is mending quickly, but it is not known when he will be able to make it back on the pitch.

Dean: Bloody tragedy if you ask me. Arthur had only let through 4 goals in 14 games. He was magnificent!

Gillian: A lot of that was thanks to the strength of the defense though. Plus, he's no Surion.

Dean: Alatari Surion. Now THERE was a player...

Gillian: Dean, you do realise you weren't even BORN when she was playing.

Dean: What?

Gillian: She hasn't played for almost 60 years. Thats 20 years before you were born!

Dean: Well, from what people say...

Gillian: Indeed. Now for more local news, having already qualified on top of their group, the Waffles faced the UIE at home. Without Arthur, and with coach Pengelley resting a number of our top players, it was a depleted side that played the only team Spaam haven't beaten this season.

Dean: Which was a mistake if you ask me! We should've gone all in and crushed the mongrels!

Gillian: Dean! Roskelly scored early in the game, but the UIE then sent through 3 unanswered goals, with Sowena Prisk looking uncomfortable in keeper position. Pomre closed the gap to one goal in the 70th minute, but the UIE scored one last time to clinch the game. Final score, Spaam 2, The UIE 4.

Dean: Personally, I think that is an embarrasment! Completely blowing our winning streak at home, unbeaten streak, brilliant defensive record, and letting such a low ranked team walk over us. Travesty!

Gillian: But Pengelley has done a brilliant job with the team. Leading us to 3rd place in the CoH and our best ever qualifying performance. Plus we had zero to lose - this was almost a training match for us.

Dean: Let just agree to disagree then. We'll be going to a break in a sec, but before we go, there have been reports of giant evil spiders playing football in Pedriana. We'll leave you with a clip...

OOC: There you Raging Penguins. Plus, I'm glad you've been in my group for the past two cups, you've easily been one of the most entertaining RPers, and definitely the best in our groups.

New Montreal States

08-07-2006, 02:17

Locked and Loaded

Five to fall as Paladins take aim at world number 1 rank

NEW MONTREAL - Yes, we know all about pride before a fall, and yes, we're aware that if we do fall it will probably come from behind, but we don't have time to examine the 200-odd teams below us, so we're looking at:

Those Whom We Still Look Up At

1 Bedistan 62.33 - Yep. Them. Still there. Although they've been carefully avoiding us for five cups now...
2 Starblaydia 59.71 - 0-2-4 record against these guys does NOT bode well for future encounters. But if we can beat Tadjikistan after five straight losses, we at least know it's possible. Maybe.
3 Liverpool England 58.46 - Huh. Haven't seen 'em since WC11. The more things change...
4 Hockey Canada 45.30 - As long as we don't play them in the Dome we'll have a chance. At least we'll keep saying that until it becomes true.
5 Squornshelous 44.38 - Never played 'em. But they're ranked 5th in the world. So was the U.S. of $%%^@ Landon $%@^%%$ Donovan A, but they're much better than those guys.

And our bets? Casari will have our spot back within the week, see if they don't.

Becquerelia

08-07-2006, 05:30

And we turn back around to see what's behind us:

http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/elvessecurity.gif Elves Security Forces - 0__________1 - Becquerelia http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/becquerelia.gif

WE'RE GOING TO THE CUP!
Victory Caps Of Successful Qualification Run

ROENTGEN(JNS) - Technically, Elves Security Forces came to Roentgen with the possiblity of overtaking Becquerelia for the final qualification spot. However, in reality, ESF would have to do two things. First, they would have to win. A win would give them three points and tie them with Becquerelia.

Next, because ties are broken by Goal Differential, the Marauders would have to match or beat Becquerelia's goal differential total. This meant that Elves Security Forces would have to beat Becquerelia by 11 goals.

"That would be a bit embarrassing if they pulled it off," cracked Head Coach Mark Crescentini before the game. And it almost seemed like the National Team decided not to risk any crazy results, and played a very defensive game, giving them a 1-0 victory, and a spot on the World Cup for the first time in the nation's history.

The victory, and official naming of Becquerelia as one of the 32 qualifiers led to nationwide celebration, led to President Blaise Kurrie declaring a national holiday for when the National Team returns before the start of the World Cup, culminating in a parade through Roentgen.

"Of course it's a big deal. It's the world Cup, and we're in it. We've never been there, we beat the odds, so of course we should be excited," said Daniel Abigantus, who scored the winning Becquerelian goal in the 82nd minute of the game. "I only hope we could be just as surprisingly good during the World Cup itself."

Becquerelia's Current Results and Upcoming Schedule
Home Team Last
WIN DRAW LOSS
MD01: Spaamanian Plijous - 1 Becquerelia - 0
MD02: Becquerelia - 2 System Karela - 1
MD03: Becquerelia - 1 Intyny - 2
MD04: Becquerelia - 1 Audioslavia - 0
MD05: Haraki - 0 Becquerelia - 1
MD06: Cuation - 2 Becquerelia - 0
MD07: Becquerelia - 3 Elves Security Forces - 1
MD08: Becquerelia - 0 Spaamanian Plijous - 0
MD09: System Karela - 0 Becquerelia - 2
MD10: Intyny - 1 Becquerelia - 3
MD11: Audioslavia - 2 Becquerelia - 1
MD12: Becquerelia - 2 Haraki - 2
MD13: Becquerelia - 1 Cuation - 1
MD14: Elves Security Forces - 0 Becquerelia - 1

Becquerelia's Goal Scorers

Daniel Abigantus - 8
Gregory Conveniencia - 3
Niceaus Annunziata - 2
Paul Annunziata - 2
Ziyad Al Abtah - 1
Razak Kahlef - 1
Thomas Strazzabosco - 1

Rejistania

08-07-2006, 17:07

From the KaMaRi Update:

La'kanvali!

The Orange-Blues eventually qualified for the 29th world cup despite the bad outlook they had for that seeing how bad their qualification-run was. After Kericia lost to Kelse 2:3 and even a loss would have brought the Orange-Blues through, Frankton'he decided to experiment a bit in terms of the lineup and gave the players, he nominated for the squad a chance. Syku Lyku (not Sikane'tes but Desnike'tes) played as well as Lyku I Sil, also midfielder Vajeta I Kansu had his first match in the national team ever.
The Aigosthenas team played in a very defensive manner and they apparently did want not to lose highly (just as the rejistanian approach to soccer was for quite a long time). Since they had played in this formation quite often and the Rejistani strikers lacked all international experience, there were only few chances in the first half for the Rejistanians. This however was not due to a lack of trying. The Orange-Blues had good possesion, but the midfield and the attack simply did not harmonize well. Despite this problems the Orange-Blues took the lead in the 39th minute. Syku Lyku Desnike'tes used one of the seldom moments of aigosthenan defensive errors to soot from a distance into the upper left corner of the goal. 1:0 was the halftime score.

In the second half, the Lasane tried to increase the lead but again it was noticable that the Rejistanian team could not do anything against the strong aigosthenan defense, which apparently was trained in System Karela. This can not be said about both the rejistanian defense and the aigosthenan attack: In the 68th minute, after a corner for Rejistania, which was imprecisely shot by Mesit Inkil, the aigosthenans started a counter-attack and the Rejistani defense could not react adequately, Jeri Kis could reach the ball, with his fingertips, but it was not enough to redirect the ball. 1:1 was the score. Despite all rejistani attempts, despite a kiirii in the 76th minute, which brought in Syku Lyku Sikane'tes for Lyku I Sil, Xiajen Xhekinajha for Mata Jisu and Vaka Iuliana for Vajeta I Kansu, the Orange-Blues did not improve their ability to finish the chances they had. However the combination between Syku Lyku Sikane'tes and Syku Lyku Desnike'tes was a better combination for anyone except the reporters.

Rejistania 1 - Aigosthenas 1
(Lyku Desnike'tes 39th) (Pak 69th)

Raging Penguins

08-07-2006, 19:13

*Inside a fortified bunker, deep beneath the offices of The National Informant*

Richard Wallard, Head Publisher of The National Informant sat on a stool, rubbing his bandaged head. Across from him was Willard E. Bibman, the rather ill-tempered president of the Informant, who was sitting on a crate, smoking a ciggarette, and scowling ferociously at everybody around.
Throughout the concrete bunker, sounds from fourteen feet above them echoed.

The sounds that echoed were the sounds of many angry voices yelling, and getting their yells mixed up and intertwined with other angry voices. The sounds that echoed were the sounds of sledgehammers smashing through wood and plaster, as angry arms swung them again and again. The sounds from above were the sounds of windows shattering against pavement, as angry hands pushed them from their places in the windowpanes, and flung them from five stories up. The sounds that echoed were the sounds of a hungry fire eating its way through an office building, chomping through papers, through desks, through computers, through typewriters, through half-finished articles, through bulliten boards, through memos, notices, want-ads, post-it notes, letters, lists, and bills. The sounds that echoed were the sounds of a countries largest newpaper being ruined. The sounds that echoed were the sounds of a seven-story office-building being torn down and burned. The sounds that echoed were the sounds of an angry mob reacting to the outcome of a Football Game.

They were not happy sounds.

Willard E. Bibman glared around the small, dark, cramped room, surveying the immediate victims of his anger. In the far corner was Jim Alberts, Assistant Editor to Earl Briggs, the Chief Editor, who was seated next to him, on a military cot. Behind Briggs, standing up, was Walter Mamor, the most respected reporter in the country, having won a Pulitzer Prize for his cock-and-bull stories. Next to Mamor was Edward Jazzbal, a womanizing little prick who Edited the Informant's Gossip Columns. Seated next to him was Head Publisher Wallard, who was cradlign his head in his hands. No doubt he had an awful headache, after being bashed over the head by a Professional Rioteer two days before. Bibman was going to do something for that headache, as soon as he had chewed out the rest of them. Maybe he'd hit Wallard over the head with a wooden beam as well. Seated next to Wallard was Neil Razori, a foriegner who's somehow gotten a promotion into the higher-up offices of the Informant, and had landed himself a position as Head Translator. He was ripe for the sacking, and wouldn't take up space much longer.

"Alright, What *cough* happened out there? What the H–*cough*–ell happened that caused this? Did the Pub Out–*cough*–law pornography again?", hacked Bibman. "Did the goddamn foriegners get a *hack-cough* foothold in the country?"

There was a slight pause, until Wallard finally answered for the group.
"Er, actually, sir, The Team won, two to zero. Against Giant Zucchini. Which means," Willard nervously added, "that The Team is no longer last in their group. That made a lot of people very, very unhappy, sir."

Bibman gaped at the man, his mouth open, his ciggarette clinging onto his lip for dear life. The Team had beat Giant Zucchini? How was that even possible? Obviously, someone must have cheated. Devious Penguin had probably put tranquilizer in the Zucchini's morning coffee, or possibly he'd murdered them all in their beds the night before the game. Yes, that was probably the answer.

Bibman coughed again, hacking up some phlegm as he did. Spitting on the ground, he eyed the men again, knowing that this was probably the last time he'd see many of them, before the Newspaper went out of business, and they all became unemployed. Damn The Team! Damn them! They'd indirectly destroyed his paper, those rat-bastards!

The Team, in their rather short career as of now, had damaged many people's lives, caused huge amounts of irreparable destruction to various countries, and caused states of international emergency. But they had their bad points as well, of course, such as causing taxes to go up, riots to break out, and pay cuts.

The Team was an evil that must be destroyed, decided Bibman as he coughed over his ciggarette, and [i]before the government decided to keep them.

Casari

08-07-2006, 20:59

That's right!

The Finals Draw! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11321372&postcount=17)

Wentland

08-07-2006, 21:02

"So Ariddia are going."

"Yep."

"And we shoved 5 up 'em."

"Yep."

"Football, eh?"

"Yep."

Sarzonia

08-07-2006, 21:40

Woodstock Daily Mail

Stars catch a break

by Ryan Calvin
Daily Mail Staff Writer

It isn't the murderer's row that assaulted the Sarzonian national football team in previous World Cup outings, but for Coach Mark Wingate, getting host nation Casari, the perennially elite Tadjikistan Tigers, and World Cup novices Becquerelia in Group H was enough of a challenge.

"We've traditionally had difficulty with the host nation in a World Cup. That home pitch advantage is usually prohibitive, and we're going to lead off with the hosts," Wingate said. "Tadjikistan have an outstanding footballing pedigree. And Becquerelia have beaten Audioslavia."

For Sarzonia's parts, their position as the third seed means they're no longer among the favourites to advance out of group play. However, that suits goalkeeper Frank Talbot, quickly becoming the emotional leader of this Stars unit, just fine.

"We've been one of the favourites in our group the past two World Cup finals," Talbot said. "And you've seen what happened. Perhaps now Margaret will be on our side this time."

For a team that consists of 23 players with zero international experience when World Cup qualifying began, that shows an uncanny grasp of history. That's been one of the trademarks of the team, according to goalkeeping coach Horace Sandt, who ought to know something about the team's history.

"They've been very quick studies, not just with learning how to play at the international level against tough competition, but also with the history of the game. They really have made an effort to show the game the respect it's due and that's probably going to pay dividends."

As for the team's chances to advance out of the group stage for the first time since World Cup XXVI? The team's players and coaching staff refused to predict the team's results in the finals, but with the team's high level of play to win Group 7 of World Cup qualifying and with revenge on the minds of IFF staffers who still remember Casari's upset of the Stars during World Cup XXVII, the table has been set for success.

"Tadjikistan is also going to be looking for revenge after a knockout stage win several cups ago and the first Dragon Invitational final," assistant coach Brian Wilson reminded the media. "This is a completely different Stars team, but that doesn't mean anyone's going to remember that when that first whistle blows."

No matter what happens, at least this Stars team will play without the weight of expectations that usually has accompanied a trip to the World Cup finals.

"The pressure's not on us now," Talbot said. "No one's going to expect us to go anywhere this time. Anything we can accomplish will just be gravy for us."

Ariddia

08-07-2006, 22:39

Confusion over draw
Ariddia drawn in two different groups

When the results of the World Cup draw were made official, it appeared Ariddia was drawn in Group A, and would be playing in Krytenia, its opening match being a challenging encounter with the hosts. But then, much to everyone’s surprise, the country’s name came up a second time, in Group E, sending the team to Casari.

“For now, we’re going to assume we’re going to Krytenia,” AFA President Anna Teals said, “until this mix-up is clarified.”

If this is confirmed, the Rouge-et-Noirs will be playing against Krytenia, Fmjphoenix and Chicanada. The team have played Chicanada three times before, and have a record of one win, one draw and one defeat, suggesting that anything is possible in this encounter. There have also been three matches between Ariddia and Fmjphoenix, but all of these ended to the latter’s advantage, a trend the Rouge-et-Noirs will absolutely have to break. Finally, Ariddia has never played Krytenia, although Ariddian defender Tim Wald knows the country well, as he plays for Krytenian club Ousevale Borough.

“You’ll see I’ve made no changes at all to the team,” coach Evgheny Melenciuc said, although this is not entirely accurate since midfielder Tadjou Senaya is now officially listed as a starter. “We have a very good team. They have an excellent record in qualifying, and I feel they can go a very long way indeed. Our immediate goal is to get at least six points out of the next three matches.”

Ariddians have been flocking to watch their players in training, and to encourage them.

“If we do play against Krytenia, there’ll be massive home support for them in the stadium,” 40 year-old team captain Sandrine Leduc remarked. Ariddia, an underdeveloped country with a moneyless economy, rarely sends great amounts of supporters abroad, although the government has promised to supply important amounts of funds for supporters to attend Ariddia’s matches in this Cup. “Our supporters have helped us through qualifying; they’ve been absolutely great. We’ll be relying on them to be as vocal as the Krytenians,” she added with a smile, “even if they are outnumbered!”

Casari

08-07-2006, 23:33

OOC: Jolt ate half the post when I first posted, so I had to go back and change it. I thought it just ate Group B, C, D, and E, but in reality, it ate part of A, B, C, D, and part of E. Bettia and Spaam are in group A. Chicanada and Ariddia are in Group E.

I also hate you all.

Schiavonia

09-07-2006, 01:59

"You're listening to Schia FM, and we've come to Krytenia for another edition of World Cup Sloths! I'm Mike Jones..."

"...and I'm Filipo Schiavone, and we're going to be looking back at Schiavonia's inability to defend their Cup of Harmony title."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we can't enter it now, can we? And it would have been fun, what with The Archregimancy, Milchama , Praying2God and whoever else involved."

"Filipo, Praying2God won't be involved in it."

"Really?"

"Really. The place got blown up."

"Oh. So that's the end of them, then?"

"Certainly is."

"Oh. That's really sad, that is."

"I know."

*uncomfortable silence*

"Well, anyway, why we're in Krytenia is because the Schiavonia Sloths are here to play against a selection of the best sides in the World before agonisingly being knocked out on goal difference."

"We're not going to look back at our qualifying run, then?"

"No need, really. Everyone knows what happened. It was only really tense after we played Vuam and Isma on Matchday Eleven. Then they screwed up against Zychibastan while we beat Mr Chuck Norris and Northern Caesarea 4-2 and Risa-Aramour 2-1 at the KFS, sealing our place with ease."

"But can't we talk about Tarmey's five goals over the last few games, the emegence of Seamus Bradley with three in the same period, not to mention Will Caine's unbelievable strike against Risa-Aramour?"

"No. Because that's all in the past now. The present is here in Krytenia, where the men in Orange and Dark Red will be looking to do better than any Schiavone team before them and make the knockout stages."

"Ah cool. And will this happen?"

"Don't be stupid, Filipo. Have you seen the draw?"

"Of course, but let's review our three group stage opponents one by one."

"OK, well first up are one of the first teams to make it to the finals, New Montreal States."

"We should be a bit scared of them, Filipo. They've sent out a message of intent to the world that their aiming to be the best, the number ones. And what's the first step to achieving this goal? Thrashing Schiavonia's sorry backsides, that's what! Really, though, you can't see us beating NMS, can you?"

"Do you want the long version or the short version?"

"Well, I guess we've got time for both. What's the short version?"

"No."

"Fair enough. Care to give us the long version as well?"

"Nooooooo."

"That's not really that much longer. It's the same word, you just stretched it out a bit."

"I know. But there isn't rally another answer."

"OK, well, second up will be Jeruselem, who are ranked just a single place below NMS in seventh. However, they seem to be more in competition with Schiavonia for the friendliest nation in the World Cup rather than for the football. Although obviously they are good, they've been playing for years and years and what have you. Once again, you can see us getting nothing, can't you?"

"Well, let's look at it this way. Jeruselem Government News bring reports on all the nations they consider friends, while The Schiavone Scribe rubbish such an idea, because, unless McPsychoville and Northern Caesarea happen to be playing that day, we might as well just publish an extended version of the scores thread. So, in a gesture of friendliness to each other, this game will undoubtedly finish a draw."

"Pushing the boat out there, aren't we?"

"Cautious optimism, that's what it is, Mike."

"Indeed. Last up will be Nedalia, who are the lowest ranked team in the group, although they are only 31st in the world, nd now that they've made the finals... well, I just can't see them wasting the opportunity, especially as the chances are that both sides will be out by the time this game comes around."

"Don't count on that being the case, though. Anything can happen, and it usually does. All I'll say is that Schiavonia's form against lower ranked teams in groups of four is currently 100%. They wouldn't want to change that, especially if there was still a cat in hells chance of us getting through."

"So, combine our predictions, and you'll probably get what will really happen. And what has happened the last two occasions the Sloths have graced the World Cup Finals - we lose on goal difference AGAIN!"

"Mike, I couldn't have put it better myself."

"Now we've got the draw, we can also look forward to who we think will win the competition. I'm afraid, everyone, that I've been really unoriginal in my predictions and gone for Bedistan. They are ranked the best team in the world, and those rankings don't lie, do they?"

"They don't, but what you've got to rememer, Mike, is that throughout this cup so far, we have seen that anyone can beat jsut about anyone on any given day. With this in mind, I've plumped for a team from outside the current big three. After a disasterous time through qualifying, I predict that Rejistania will take the world by storm, despite not playing quite as defensively as they used to. They're a team that will always be there or there abouts, their group isn't the hardest you've ever seen, and they could well peak at just the right time."

"You are joking aren't you? You've seen what happens to the top sides who play remotely defensive this cup?"

"What do you mean?"

"Look at the cold hard stats, Filipo. Hockey Canada finished behind Spaam in their group, and only made it because the rest were too busy being blown up by Raging Penguins, Praying2God failed to qualify... only McPsychoville and ASMV looked any good. Nanakaland were one of the worst teams around despite a reasonable rank last cup. It really is a style on the way out."

"And the Orange-Blues are adapting to it. They're not even playing defensive any more!"

"Really?"

"Really! They're under new management, and trust me, they are going to win the whole goddamn thing!"

"I'll try and have faith, but I can't see it leaving the grasp of the top three, truth be told. Anyway, that's it from us for this show. The Greatest Show On Earth is just two days away, now. Don't miss a kick with us here on Schia FM!"

Becquerelia

09-07-2006, 02:04

Centrifuge Sports presents out predictions for World Cup Group H, from worst to first.

Group H

Becquerelia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11136706&postcount=56) (50)
http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/becquerelia.gif

Now, don't get us wrong, we're happy as clams that the Black Cats made it into the World Cup. It's a special honor, and we had to beat some tough teams and struggle alot to make it here.

That being said, it's going to be a nasty, brutish, and short time in Casari. This team just a couple weeks ago had just lost to Spaamanian Plijous and Intyny, and now we're playing some of the absolute best teams in the world. We might grab a point, maybe even two, but it would take a miracle to move on. Maybe next time.

Prediction: Fourth

Sarzonia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11110304&postcount=33) (19)
http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/sarzonia.gif

Sarzonia is another team that had a successful qualification run, going 10-3-1 and handily winning their group, despite having a team full of World Cup neophytes.

As it appears, the Sarzonia Stars appear to be taking a "whatever happens is cool by us" approach to the World Cup. Which is probably a good thing, because they probably won't qualify. They'll play tough, they'll keep it close, the matches will be interesting and exciting, but they won't qualify.

Prediction: Third

Tadjikistan (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11195984&postcount=72) (11)
http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/tadjikistan.gif

Becquerelia actually has a history against Tadjikistan. During the World Cup 27 qualifying rounds, Becquerelia's first, they were in Tadjikistan's group. The end results: a tie and a crushing loss. Ouch.

But how did Tadjikistan do during this qualification? They went 13-0-1, in what some have called one of the weakest groups of all. But still, a record like that means they certainly aren't slouches.

Prediction: Second, Moves On

Casari (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11302674&postcount=90) (8)
http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/casari.gif

One of the host nations, playing on home soil. And this particular host nation is ranked 8th in the world. Motivation from a excited home crowd should be enough to get them into the next round with no problem.

But where will they finish in the group? Will the long lay-off make them rusty, or will the constant preperation without the wear of actual matches give them a advantage? Our bets are on the first one.

Prediction: First, Moves On

Becquerelia's Upcoming Schedule
WIN DRAW LOSS
MD01: Tadjikistan vs. Becquerelia
MD02: Casari vs. Becquerelia
MD03: Sarzonia vs. Becquerelia

Squornshelous

09-07-2006, 04:27

World Cup Preview:

GROUP A
#10 Krytenia
#9 Fmjphoenix
#21 Bettia
#28 Spaam

When you glance at the rankings, this group appears to a battle for first and a battle for third, but not so. Krytenia will benefit from their home field advantage, and the other three teams will slug it out for second, with any of the three having a shot.
Prediction: Krytenia and Spaam

GROUP B
#2 Starblaydia
#13 Rejistania
#23 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
#85 Quakmybush

This is the end of the road for Quakmybush. The world number two, along with football powerhouse Rejistania and rising stars Andossa Se Mitrin Vega will be able to handle them, and this cup's surprise team will probably leave without a point. The Dragons will put up a good fight, but we expect Rejistania to go through on goal difference.
Prediction: Starblaydia and Rejistania

GROUP C
#6 New Montreal States
#7 Jeruselem
#24 Schiavonia
#31 Nedalia

Another group with two teams seemingly set clearly above the rest, this time it's for real. New Montreal States and Jeruselem will just be fighting over the group win, while Schiavonia fends off Nedalia to take third.
Prediction New Montreal States and Jeruselem.

GROUP D
#4 Hockey Canada
#14 Audioslavia
#26 Dance 2 Revolution
#51 Kaze Progressa

Hockey Canada may find a few problems in this group of scrappy teams. World Cup veterans Audioslavia and upset minded Dance 2 Revolution both come into this group looking strong, and Kaze Progressa have always been a decent side.
Prediction: Audioslavia and Dance 2 Revolution

GROUP E
#5 Squornshelous
#15 Total n Utter Insanity
#25 Ariddia
#30 Chicanada

We seem to be comfortably set above the rest of the teams in this group, but we must be certain not to underestimate TnUI, who will doubtless be looking to improve their record against the Pschychoes, who hold the advantage when these two veteran teams have met in the past.
Prediction: Squornshelous and Total n Utter Insanity

GROUP F
#3 Liverpool England
#18 Spruitland
#27 The Islands of Qutar
#32 Cataduanes

Liverpool England have the clear advantage here, and Spruitland had better watch out for the teams under them, lest they become upset fodder.
Prediction: Liverpool England and The Islands of Qutar

GROUP G
#1 Bedistan
#12 Oliverry
#20 Commerce Heights
#29 McPsychoville

How can you go against the world number one, especially when they've been there so long, and are so dominant. Bedistan will go through easily, it's simply an issue of who will follow them. While they won't enjoy the perfection they did in qualifying, Oliverry will be able to ride their momentum into the next round.
Prediction: Bedistan and Oliverry

GROUP H
#8 Casari
#11 Tadjikistan
#19 Sarzonia
#50 Becquerelia

The hosts will once again make good use of their homefield advantage, and leave the second spot open for the teams under them. Look for Sarzonia to begin their climb back toward the top ten.
Prediction: Casari and Sarzonia

winners underlined
Round of 16:
1) Krytenia v Total n Utter Insanity
2) Starblaydia v The Islands of Qutar
3) New Montreal States v Oliverry
4) Audioslavia v Sarzonia
5) Squornshelous v Spaam
6) Liverpool England v Rejistania
7) Bedistan v Jeruselem
8) Casari v Dance 2 Revolution

Quarterfinals:
9) Total n Utter Insanity v Starblaydia
10) New Montreal States v Audioslavia
11) Squornshelous v Liverpool England
12) Bedistan v Casari

Semifinals:
13) Starblaydia v Audioslavia
14) Squornshelous v Bedistan

Third-Place Playoff: Starblaydia v Bedistan
Final: Audioslavia v Squornshelous

That's Right! The long drought will be over for one of two teams who have been trying to win this thing for so long it's not even funny anymore. Who will win it all, we don't know, but we know it'll be one hell of a match. You'll just have to tune in to see. Will Audioslavia extend their own record for most losses in the final, or will Squornshelous tack on another unsucsessful semifinal trip, or is this whole prediction a load of crap? Only time can tell.

Quakmybush

09-07-2006, 04:54

Quakmybush needs a little luck (and when I say a little I mean alot.

GROUP B
Starblaydia
Rejistania
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Quakmybush

That is what they have to overcome. The number 2, 13, and 22 seeds compared to their 85th seed. It will be a uphill battle for sure. If they even get a draw most people from the nation will be happy. A win would be heaven. But no one expects them to move on, except themselves. They may be underestiamted, and that may get them a win or two, you just never know in soccer.

Liverpool England

09-07-2006, 06:02

Squornshelan press slammed in Liverpool England
Uproar has broken out in Liverpool England and at Sqournshelan shops around the country after it was reported that the Squornshelan media had confidently predicted Liverpool England to beat Rejistania in the 2nd Round of WC29, but Squornshelous would defeat Rejistania in the quarterfinals.

Said one fan, "Their editor needs to be fired. Why this particular mistake, though? Are Squornshelous afraid of playing us? They've knocked us out on at least four different occassions, including WC22!"

Chicanada

09-07-2006, 06:31

Chicanada Daily Rabbler
Where Proper Analysis Goes To Die

Well, That Was Fun
Stars get #5 and #15 before #25, most already peg them as out

Eastentown - Roll out the "Welcome Back" banners, cuz the Orange Stars are done before even setting foot in Casari.

The National side, who looked smashing in their surprising Group 13 romp, got a present for making it to the finals: #5 Squornshelous; #15 TnUI and #25 Aridda.

Lucky, lucky, lucky us.

The national team was on a "no-talk-to-the-press-until-we-get-there" as they left for Casari (where there? no idea) but sources close to the side said Yerevan Malli is, by all accounts, pleased that we got stuck, as yet another 4th potter, in such a evil group. One even heard him discussing how the Orange Stars were expected to be ousted by rivals Kaze, Milchama and the The Archregimancy in their group.

And while most certainly the club has the experience in being the major underdog to go on, even their recent run of poundings will not be enough to salvage this cup run - with most Chicanadan dailys (and the Squorshelous press, in a very not-Schiavonian-way) giving the side absolutely no chance and most thinking the only shot for a point is against Aridda...and that's not considered too possible.

And here we were joking we were Poland.

Leading Scorers:
11 - Michael Klobee
9 - Malacki Uroals
4 - Damarus Bastian
4 - Niam Washington
3 - Livingston O'Mier
1 - Helen J'ian
1 - Alex Hedlon
1 - Adam Smith

Official Chicanada Schedule
MD01- W 3-2 Tessan (Starburst Park, Spears Crossings)
MD02- W 4-2 Third England
MD03- T 0-0 The Archregimancy (New Governess Palace, Kinsington)
MD04- W 4-2 Milchama
MD05- W 3-2 Iaukea (Sacred Heart Terrace, Bishop)
MD06- T 1-1 Kaze Progressa
MD07- W 2-1 East Lithuania
MD08- W 2-1 Tessan
MD09- T 2-2 Third England (Mountainside Fairgrounds, Castille)
MD10- W 2-1 The Archregimancy
MD11- W 3-0 Milchama (TroutCo Field, Cana)
MD12- W 3-0 Iaukea
MD13- W 2-0 Kaze Progressa (Southampton National Square)
MD14- W 3-0 East Lithuania (Cananite Pavillion, Paradiso)
GS01 - v Total n Utter Insanity (somewhere in Casari)
GS02 - v Squornshelous (somewhere else in Casari)
GS03 - v Aridda (in an imaginary city?)

Meanwhile, when the Rabbler looks at the Finals Groupings:

GROUP A
#10 Krytenia
#9 Fmjphoenix
#21 Bettia
#28 Spaam

GROUP B
#2 Starblaydia
#13 Rejistania
#23 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
#85 Quakmybush

GROUP C
#6 New Montreal States
#7 Jeruselem
#24 Schiavonia
#31 Nedalia

GROUP D
#4 Hockey Canada
#14 Audioslavia
#26 Dance 2 Revolution
#51 Kaze Progressa

GROUP E
#5 Squornshelous
#15 Total n Utter Insanity
#25 Ariddia
#30 Chicanada

GROUP F
#3 Liverpool England
#18 Spruitland
#27 The Islands of Qutar
#32 Cataduanes

GROUP G
#1 Bedistan
#12 Oliverry
#20 Commerce Heights
#29 McPsychoville

GROUP H
#8 Casari
#11 Tadjikistan
#19 Sarzonia
#50 Becquerelia

It becomes rather obvious that if you are over 18th you are pretty much screwed. Yep, the Rabbler will call that, after upsets galore, all the high seeds will advance to the Round of 16. Which will restore balance back to the high and mighty of us and make new complaints about how boring the Cup Final is without upsets, considering nations have been blown up due to the upsets people complained about.

Do the Orange Stars have a chance? Nope. But if they can somehow survive their opening games with ties (which the Stars have to reverse a loosing record against TnUI and figure out how to play Squornshelous) before the game Malli has to wish they started with - Aridda - then just maybe can the side have a breakthrough. And eventually be able to never post a thing and make all the finals in the future.

But unlike dreams, reality should bite us in the ass now. Long Live Boring Finals!

[ooc: Note, the Rabbler is a tabloid who loves conspiracy and pointing out the obvious. All said in jest, except for the part where I fully believe the 3s and 4s have no shot at the Knockout stage.]

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

09-07-2006, 06:57

Sea Dragons Face Two Powehouses & Cinderella

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from FNN Headquarters in downtown Errion Vega

The group draw for WC29 has just been announced and the Sea Dragons are left shaking their heads in disgust. This is now the third qualification for the men and women of ASMV who have steadily moved up the ranks. But when it comes to the draws for the WC proper, things tend to stack up against the Sea Dragons. Let us take a look at the group we must move through to reach the next round:

GROUP B
Starblaydia
Rejistania
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Quakmybush

Damn. Of all the sides we had hoped to avoid in this stage, World #2 Starblaydia looks down on the rest of us. Kind of like the cat watching the mice play around before it eats them. And if that isn’t enough of a challenge, take a look at the second seed. That’s right. Rejistania. The most feared defense in all of football. (though we are making a name that way as well). The 4th member of the group isn’t really supposed to be here at this point. Quakmybush somehow managed to befuddle everything and qualify. Some people just don’t have to work at anything.

Now let me evaluate our actual chances.

Starblaydia - MD1. Ouch. The Sea Dragons are on their way to becoming a top-ranked squad. Starblaydia is already there. Perhaps we can figure out a way to steal a point from these guys, but that is highly unlikely. It’s never a good thing to start a three-match group with a loss, but that is what will happen. And they will probably take out anger of their Draggonnii Inviyatii woes on us as well.

Rejistania - MD2. It just doesn’t look real good for us at this point. We faced them in the WC28 group stage and came away with a surprising draw, and then they moved on past us by goal differential. We can hope for a draw and pray for a win. This will be the match that decides who will join Star in the next round.

Quakmybush - MD3. This should be an easy three points, but the Gods that decide these things seem to favor them more than just a little. They qualified from their group, but this isn’t the qualifiers any more. The competition level goes way up at this point and when all things add up, they will be just happy to have been here.

So who will qualify? Starblaydia. And then most people will say Rejis. Just don’t count the Sea Dragons out of this mess yet. GD should decide it, and that is not our strongest suit.

Now for the other groups.

Group A. Hosts Krytenia may find some trouble here. Fmjphoenix and Bettia are both solid and from what I can see, Spaam is the side to beat here.
Prediction - Spaam, Fmjphoenix, Krytenia, Bettia.

Group C. NMS is very tough. We faced them in the qualifiers. Jeruselem had their hands full with Ariddia. Schiavonia and Nedalia will struggle as this group finishes just as it is seeded.
Prediction - NMS, Jeruselem, Schiavonia, Nedalia

Group D. Audioslavia should own this group while HC struggles to hold off D2R. KP is just out of luck.
Prediction - Audioslavia, D2R, HC, KP

Group E. Just look at the top two seeds. That’s all you need to know.
Prediction - TnUI, Squornshelous, Ariddia(sorry guys), Chicanada

Group F. LE should cruise easily. Qutar just might sneak past Spruitland. Cataduanes can be tough but wont this time.
Prediction - LE, Qutar, Spruitalnd, Cataduanes

Group G. McPsychoville was great in the qualifiers. They will wish they were still there. Bedistan will literally own the group while Oliverry slides past CH.
Prediction - Bedistan, Oliverry, CH, McPsychoville.

Group H. Casari is the host, but that will not help them. Tadjikistan will take the group while a resurgent Sarzonia lives up to past expectations. Bequerelia will just have to smile and take it.
Prediction - Tadjikistan, Sarzonia, Casari, Bequerelia

And with that, I am off.

Magnus Valerius

09-07-2006, 08:01

The Isangrad Times
Boyars Destined For Cup of Harmony
...But They Do Leave This WC Almost Qualifying!

ISANGRAD, MAGNUS VALERIUS ---- Here at the Palomares Resort Hotel in Isangrad, the team players of the national team, the Boyars, are celebrating. Although you may believe that not qualifying into the next rounds for the World Cup is something that is not worth celebrating, the Boyars celebrate anyway. This is because that this World Cup was the closest that the Boyars had ever come to qualifying for the next rounds. Tonight, the various teammates surround themselves with alcohol, food, and women. Profligacy has taken over the Boyars tonight.

"We... We uhh, deserved this here medal," said a drunken George Illyanich as he waved around a golden serving platter. The steaks and salad that rested on it flung into the air and landed on Mongke Urt-Urumqi, who was possibly more intoxicated than the Tower of Power. "*Burp* I am glad... happy," grinned Illyanich. "Oh, uh.... can I have a cigarette?"

The Boyars came really close to qualifying. They were beaten out by The Islands of Qutar narrowly. Both teams matched points, but Magnus Valerius's scoring record was less qualified. Two GD points determined who qualified and who took third place. It was Qutar who went on and left Magnus Valerius to consolidate this non-qualifying but still prestigous position (in the eyes of die-hard Boyars fans, at least).

While the Boyars celebrate tonight for their accomplishments in the World Cup, their endeavors are not over. The Boyars will definitely be participating in the Cup of Harmony to follow this World Cup. The Archregimancy and the Holy Empire of Alasdair I Frosticus will be hosting the event, and Magnus Valerius shall be seeing friends and rivals, both old and new, in the Cup of Harmony. It is even quite possible to see the Grand Empire face off against current political (and now, possibly sports) rivals, the murderous Gull Flaggers from the Gull Flag Republic of Iansisle. Perhaps the Boyars will win the Cup of Harmony as well; their performance has been outstanding so far, and in the Cup of Harmony, the Boyars are likely to shine.

(OOC: Hehe, no problem, Ian. Anyway, take your time in posting with the Death of Kings. I still need to type another big post to cover Valinon, Excalbia, and other things anyway. :D)

OOC2: Sorry for the (somewhat) short post. I wanted to make it long and more eventful, but my brother's kinda forcing me off the computer. :p

New Montreal States

09-07-2006, 08:44

"...and this is BSPT, Sports Radio for the St. James Valley, broadcasting from our new studios in the middle of downtown. First, a reminder that every home and car should have a survival kit in the event of a nuclear attack by those batshit atheists from AO, whatchamacallit..."

"Atheistic Right?"

"Yeah, that's it. Anyway, time for predictions, neh?"

"Eh. We've been put in a group along with Jeruselem, Nedalia, and Schiavonia."

"How hard do you think it'll be?"

"Well, it's not a patch on, say, Group H, with Casari, Sarzonia and the Tigers battling it out while Bequerelia hovers menacingly in the background, but still not a picnic here."

"Let's take it team by team."

"Jeruselem should be familiar to all Paladins fans. We're 1-2-1 or some such against them, most recently a win in the round of 16 in Bedistan two cups ago."

"Vengeance a motivator, then?"

"Quite possibly. The Paladins and Crusaders are very evenly matched, they've been that way for most of their time in international football."

"Tough match?"

"Indubitably."

"Say what?"

"Never mind that. Although I wouldn't mind being in the press box with that Rachel Kool chick."

"Ain't she married?"

"Umm...yeah..."

"Denied! Next up, Schiavonia."

"The Sloths have made it back to the finals after getting relegated to the CoH last Cup, and they'll be raring for the upset advancement."

"Think they have a chance?"

"No matter what their media might be saying, they're going to cause problems for the Paladins, and it will be an opener worth watching. Closer than most people are betting on."

"And finally, Nedalia."

"Many of their stars are on their valedictory campaign right now. On the one hand, this means they'll be playing as if they ahd nothing left to lose; on the other hand, they might be wearing down somewhat."

"Lions a write-off, then?"

"Not at all. No write-offs in the Groups."

"Upsets, then?"

"It'd amaze me to see the Lions not go home without a point. Maybe three or more. We've got to make sure those points come from someone else."

"And after that?"

"Not looking ahead."

"Probably for the best. We'll be taking your calls right after this break..."

Jeruselem

09-07-2006, 08:57

"Good morning! This is your favourite TV bimbo on Jeruselem Government News. You'd have to be blind, dead and dumb to work out I'm not Rachel Kool. The World Cup 29 groups have been draw and well, a group which is really interesting"

The following appears on TV

GROUP C
#6 New Montreal States
#7 Jeruselem
#24 Schiavonia
#31 Nedalia

"Well, firstly New Montreal States head the group. The same team who knocked us out in the 2nd round of World Cup 28. The 6th seed will want be the best team here as you'd except but most people here predict it will be a battle between the 6th and 7th seed in this Group C. For those who haven't worked it out, we are the 7th seed. The good thing is the States don't have a Starblaydi-type record against us yet. Starblaydia beat us everywhere in football, even if it is the underwater World Cup."

<A crowd waving Nedalian and Jeruselem flags sings behind her>

"Now for the lower seeds! Firstly Schiavonia who I don't think we've played before. I doubt the 24th seed will be here to make up the numbers so no one relax against them. Lowest seed happens to our friends Nedalia who makes this group a little difficult. If it comes down to us having to beat Nedalia for securing a spot in the 2nd round, the team won't be sentimental. The Jeruselem team want to make the 2nd round again even if we run into someone like Bedistan or Starblaydia."

<Lots more singing>

"3 group games to play. If we win two games - we are through to the next round. One win and one loss is uncertain while two losses is end game. The critical game is the NMS game against Jeruselem as we do expect to win at least one of the games against Schiavonia and Nedalia. We don't want to knock out Nedalia, but the knockout rounds are so cruel when friends play each other"

<Girls walk past, boys whistle in approval>

"That wasn't for me, hehe. Jeruselem's infamously bad predictions for the Group stage. Oh yes, there are not going away because some idiot at JGN wanted to resurrect them. The difference is I'm the sucker to tell everyone what they are."

"Group A. This was hard. Analyist says the Krytenians and Fmjphoenix. Spaam happens to be in this group. I think Lion's buddies Bettia have chance certainly."

"Group B. Starblaydia to top this group with ease. Andossa Se Mitrin Vega to take the other spot. Why not Rejistania? Ask our JGN analyist who is not a System Karela fan. Don't this little girl."

"Group C. Paladins and of course Jeruselem. If Nedalia, do well we'd be happy. We want a Lions and Jeruselem in the next round but the Paladins are too good a team to fail."

"Group D. We fully expect Hockey Canada to take top spot with Audioslavia to take the other spot. These two are proven finals veterans are they will be too good."

"Group E. Squornshelous and the insane folk. I fancy Ariddia to be there with the insane people or better known as TnUI."

"Group F. Liverpool England and Spuitland. Terminators and Bunnies are great teams who can handle the pressure."

"Group G. Bedistan, the uber-Lions. They should maul their opponents. Oliverry for the other spot."

"Group H. Tadjikistan and Sarzonia according to our analyist. I'd pick Casari in there but these aren't my picks. I like Casari's chances but I don't do these predictions. That has nothing to with the fact I once dated an Italian named Casari."

"That's it for me. I'll be here for all the Group games rain, hail or sleating snow. This is Rachel Kool for JGN. Oh don't put money on those tips, you're going to lose money folks. Press people, don't be afraid to ask for one my calendars. There's plenty to give away when if you need some lame excuse to chat me up."

Tadjikistan

09-07-2006, 14:26

'I am Simon Orlitsa, your host for today and with me is Bahrom Sadirov, welcome to Sportweekend.'
'Welcome Bahrom'

'Hi Simon, once more, its a pleasure to be here.'

'Its an honour to have you here, Bahrom, especially as we look into the World Cup group stage now.'
#8 Casari
#11 Tadjikistan
#19 Sarzonia
#50 Becquerelia
'I'd say this is one of the most difficult groups to qualify from, three strong nations for two tickets to the round of 16.'

'Yes and among them is Sarzonia, one of the few teams that I and my brother have not defeated in our career. Sarzonia eliminated us in the quarterfinals of World Cup 24 in the penalties and again in ASMV, in the finals of the Dragonni invitayional tournament.'
'The difference is that they dropped in ranking since, for the first time in 40 years, we are ahead of them when it comes to rankings, this is a time for revenge for The Tigers.'

'And then we have the most important opponent, Casari.'

'The Tigers led their group on WC28 and thuis played against The Archregimancy, a side that Alexander Zaev, our national coach at that time, wanted to avoid. They were the hosts. Mr Zaev preffered to meet Casari in the knockoput stages as he believed that would have been an easier game. Casari is the host nation this time and thus has an advantage, but this game will still give us an indication as to whether Zaev was right. I'm looking forward to this game.'

'The last team in the group is Becquerelia, another team we remember from previous World Cups.'

Yes, thats correct Simon, during the qualifications for WC27, we tied to them 1-1 on Matchday 8 and won 4-1 in the returnmatch on Matchday 17. I dont remember their ranking at that time but it was lower than is is now, Becquerelia is not to be underestimated as opponent.'

'Strong sides, looks spectacular. What are Tadjikistans chances in this group?'

'If we continue to play as we did during the qualifications, then we will certainly move on and meet the first or second team from group D, most likely Audioslavia or Hockey Canada. Second place in this group should be the minimum and first place their goal.'
'We must win our first two matches to secure our place in the next round, if all goes well, we might not even have to win the last one then, a tie could be all we need. Offcourse we havent come to that point yet.'

'How far can the Tigers get in this World Cup?'

'Round of 16 at best, Quarterfinals are nearly impossible unless we are really lucky. Though I must we we have more luck than our friends from Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, the Sea Dragons ended up in a group with Rejistania and Starblaydia.'

'It is one of those groups that are easy to predict, easier than Group H, Do you have a prediction for our Group?'

'Casari, Tadjikistan, Sarzonia and last Becquerelia. Its not very sensational I know, but its realistic and the Tigers move on. I'll be a happy man if I'm as close to the real outcome as I was with our game against Molvania.'

'I'd almost ask you to predict a few 6-0 victories. but This will do. Thankyou for being here Bahrom. I am Simon Orlitsa signing out, We'll see eachother again in Casari.'

Rejistania

09-07-2006, 14:33

Lyku'he Sikane'tes decides match - or not

This was the day of Syku Lyku Desnike'tes. The rejistanian forward scored two goals in the friendly match against Dance2Revolution. The match took place in the Estadije Na~ovi Nanti in nani kansu. After the Qualification of the Orange-Blues, this was Frankton'he's first match and a good indicator for the world cup 29 in Casari/Krytenia.

The Orange-Blues did neither play bad nor good. The match was pretty mediocre and only had some good moments - like the second goal of Syku Lyku Desnike'tes. This goal however came after the same Syku Lyku Desnike'tes scored an own goal before, so the match ended 1:1.

The rejistanian defense was not that well in this match, this is why sometimes in high desperation, the Rejistanian defense had resort to desperation-fouls. This led to free kicks for Dance2revolution, most notable the one in the 43th minute: Über Junior's shot would have been held by Jeri Kis... if not Syku Lyku Desnike'tes would have attempted to clear. The fans ironically shouted "Ehil Sari" (the name of a famous Na~ovian striker) and Lyku'he Desnike'tes turned to the fans and made some symbols in sign language, basically the translation of: "oops, sorry!"

The second half saw a much more attacking Orange-Blue team. The Orange-Blues still had a horrible defense, but Kis'he and the defense were able to cope with the chances. Before the second half, Jeri Kis was noticed to have read a piece of paper, Hanju Sinimene gave him. Sinimene'he later told reporters what was written on it: "Don't concede, otherwise I Les'he'll replace you!" Syku Lyku Desnike'tes was able to restore his reputation again, by this time scoring a goal for instead of against the Rejistanians. in a chaotic scene in front of the revolutionary goal, he just attempted to shoot through the legs of defender Kinitka Darijin. Goalie Fauchgar Mitnav reacted too late and the score was 1:1.

After this situation, the match remained attackingly, and with good chances for both teams. However the defenses stood better now, which caused the match to end 1:1. The Rejistanis were not unhappy about this.

Cataduanes

09-07-2006, 18:13

ISLANDERS QUALIFY

After a largely solid qualifaction campaign the Islanders have made it to the final and have been drawn into Group F.

GROUP F
#3 Liverpool England
#18 Spruitland
#27 The Islands of Qutar
#32 Cataduanes

Being drawn in the same group as LE again after the drama of being in Grp 8 with LE for the qualifiers seems a little strange but thats footballing bureaucracy for you.

The Islanders look set for a tough world cup finals and hopes rest on wether the Islanders can pick up points against Qutar and Spruitland, the fixture against LE will be tough and victory doubtful.

Casari

09-07-2006, 19:03

Hill dragged herself back to her office after a long day of media appearances. While the Casaran National Soccer Team had always managed to surround itself in a major media circus, and that Hill was usually the one prodding everyone and stirring the pot. But after spending over half a billion selaris on spy sattelites and international espionage, inane questions from the media over their chances didn't have the flare that they used too.

Mumbling, she took some stuff out of her pockets and dumped it on her desk before walking down the hall and getting a cup of coffee. "This isn't that much fun anymore." she sighed, continuing down the hall. Stopping in front of CSA president Wilson Graham's closed door, she knocked on it, drinking the coffee and rubbing one of her eyes. "Damn, I'm tired."

"Come in."

Hill walked in and sat down in a chair quickly. "Why are you still here, don't you need to have some big ceremonial presence at the first match or something?"

"I leave tomorrow."

"Ah."

"I'm concerned about the team. There's not a lot of experience on it." Graham said, looking over the roster printed in the paper.

"I thought we discussed this. I pick the team, and you sit back and give me money."

"There's more rookies than we've ever had on a team."

"What am I supposed to do, trot out the 38 year olds with blown out knees?"

"They only have to last 7 matches."

"Oh please, they won't last seven minutes. I don't have time for this."

"Well, you should know. The CSA is looking for a bit more success this year than we've achieved in years past. A Round of 16 exit isn't going to quite do it this year."

"I can run my team, Graham." Hill said, standing up to leave.

"Well, if you're not going to deliver, we're fully capable of finding someone else to."

"I'm sure you will, Graham, I'm sure you will." Hill said, walking out of the office.

Virginia Nova

09-07-2006, 19:37

Coach Reneldi predects the WC

GROUP A
Krytenia
Fmjphoenix
Bettia
Spaam

RENELDI SAYS This should be Kry's group easily. But I would look for Spaam to play upset here and transfer

TRANSFER: Krytenia,Spaam

GROUP B
Starblaydia
Rejistania
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Quakmybush

RENELDI SAYS Star should rip through this group easily along with the Blue-Oranges. although I do predect Quackmybush getting points

TRANSFER: Starblaydia,Rejistania

GROUP C
New Montreal States
Jeruselem
Schiavonia
Nedalia

RENELDI SAYS Tough group to decipher here,though NMS will get the first spot. Jeruselem and Schia will battle it out for second

TRANSFER:New Montreal States,Jeruselem

GROUP D
Hockey Canada
Audioslavia
Dance 2 Revolution
Kaze Progressa

RENELDI SAYS HC Should dominate, and Audioslavia should finish second

TRANSFER: Hockey Canada,Audioslavia

IN CASARI:
GROUP E
Squornshelous
Total n Utter Insanity
Ariddia
Chicanada

RENELDI SAYS This is probably the Toughist Group. But I see Squorn coming on top and bringing Chicanada with him

TRANSFER:Squornshelous,Chicanda

GROUP F
Liverpool England
Spruitland
The Islands of Qutar
Cataduanes

RENELDI SAYS A weak group,we expect LE to thouroughly dominate. Spruitland is the better of the others

TRANSFER: Liverpool England,Spruitland

GROUP G
Bedistan
Oliverry
Commerce Heights
McPsychoville

RENLEDI SAYS Another tougher group, we'll probably see Bedistan and Oliverry Transfer

TRANSFER: Bedistan,Oliverry

GROUP H
Casari
Tadjikistan
Sarzonia
Becquerelia

RENELDI SAYS We expect Tadjik to transfer easily, But we also expect Sarzonia to beat Casari for the final spot

TRANSFER: Tadjikistan,Sarzonia

Nedalia

09-07-2006, 20:10

The Nedalia Lions

Mandatory World Cup Preview

Group A:

Simply put, this has potential to be a mouth-watering affair that we here in Nedalia believe will go down to the wire. The favorite to top the group, if only based on home-field advantage, is #10 ranked Krytenia, our northwestern neighbors. We have a bit of a sentimental side for them nowadays in Nedalia thanks to their SDL induction, but they'll be due to face , of our closest allies, #21 ranked Bettia, who happen to be our eastern neighbors. Krytenia qualified automatically, ofcourse, but Bettia had to battle their way through a tough group, squeeking by Legalese and AwalKB.

Talented as both may be, theyre going to have to contend with another AOian in Fmjphoenix, who are the highest ranked team in the group at #9. They were not, however, at their best during the qualifying campaigns, getting into a three-way battle with Schiavonia and Vuam and Isma, finally coming in 2nd though they were expected to easily top their group. That could prove their undoing when they go up against much tougher competition...at the same time, if Fmjphoenix are at the top of their game, neither Krytenia or Bettia can realistically expect to take 3 points away from them.

All three teams, however, will have their hands absolutely full with a very Nedalian-like Spaamian side that has just as much chance of qualifying as anyone else in the group. Granted, it would be something of a surprise if they do, but we here at Nedalia thinks its very much possible and the odds agaisnt them are not too high at all. They are ranked #28, 7 notches below Bettia, a team nearly all of Nedalia will be cheering for (Dalutha has seen as much Bettian flags draped from the balconies as Nedalian!), but Spaam have enough talent to even get as far as topping the group. Their qualifying campaign went spectacular, finishing top of their group over Hockey Canada, dropping only 2 matches.

There are no clear cut favorites in Group A; obviously, if Fmjphoenix can recapture their best form, they will be hard to stop. Krytenia's is playing infront of its home crowd, so the 12th man element will be in full affect, while Bettia's squad are simply too talented to overlook. Spaam have the makings of an upset, riding high after a good run in the qualifiers...our loyalties lay with Bettia and Krytenia, but this is too tough to call, so we wont.

Group B:

Starblaydia might be a nation racked by internal strife, but their football has not suffered one bit. While we might not be big fans of anything Starblaydi (save for David Bentley) here in Nedalia, there is no overlooking what may very well be the finest team in the universe. Their qualifying run could not have gone any smoother, capturing 40 points out of 42, finishing off with a 13-1-0 record. They scored 44 goals and conceded only 5, demolishing all the teams in the group, including Bettia. Theyre current ranking stands at #2, and we think they'll do nothing to disprove their high ranking.

While Starblaydia rocked their qualifying group, perrenial superpower Rejistania (ranked #13) stumbled through theirs, nearly missing out on the World Cup thanks to solid play from Kericia and Kelse and finishing behind our good friends Sarzonia. They haven't done anything to win over the sceptics, many of whom are stating that a first round exit for the Rejistanians might not be out of the question. They might have indirectly been helped by the draw, but with the impressive runs of Andossa Se Mitrin Vega and Quakemybush in the qualifying campaigns, it might be only on paper.

It is true that ASMV was a distant 2nd to New Montreal States, but at the same time, Geisenfried was also a distant 3rd to ASMV. While that could point out the difference between the top tier seeds and the #23 ranked team, we here in Nedalia would beg to differ. The fact is, the socialist nation is one of the least favorite "teams to play" for nearly every squad out there, and it will be the Starblaydis and the Rejistanians who will have to put up with them. In fact, with the way Rejistania performed in the qualifying rounds, we wouldnt call it a long shot if ASMV find a way to sneak by them.

The lowest ranked team, at #85, is Quakemybush. To be fair to them, they did well getting to this stage, and it certainly was a cinderella story. While we love the underdogs here in Nedalia, even we have to say that midnight must be coming real soon...we just cant see them taking points from any of the above veteran teams. They qualified out of a very tough group, beating out much more experienced teams in Atheistic Right, Praying2God, and Tynelia. They are not likely, however, to qualify out of this group.

Starblaydia is a lock, but the vital 2nd place in the Group B is going to be a battle for the ages. If ASMV can manage the 3 points against Quakemybush, and presuming the 'Blades go a perfect 3-0-0, the real one to watch will be ASMV vs. Rejistania on Matchday Two.

Group C:

The one to watch, for us atleast. The logical place to start is with our very own Nedalia Lions, who have finally qualified to consecutive World Cups. They still havent won one, sitting pretty with a record of 0-0-6, and their ranking of #31 is the 4th lowest out of all the teams competing in World Cup 29, so statistically, things dont tilt in our favor. To add to that, our history of terrible inconsistency and underachievement could come to haunt us. Finally, our qualifying campaign, while solid, was far from top tier material, waiting till the final Matchday to qualify out of one of the weakest groups, defeating Ozzelia only 1-0. Considering all that, one cant be very optimistic.

But we are anyway, and we'll be travelling across the border to Krytenia in huge numbers. "The Exodus", as its being called, is already underway, with all border checkpoints between Nedalia and Krytenia completely jampacked day and night, with Nedalians and Bettians (who have to travel through Nedalia to get to Krytenia) alike. Never has the country been this alive, with the World Cup being so close to home, and the nation is absolutely buzzing. Not only is Nedalia hoping, but they are expecting. It is no secret that the team will be reshuffled in a big way next time around, with superstars such as Hardman, Point, Khadra, Lamm, and the golden child himself, Nene, all retiring after World Cup 29. Nene has been handed the captaincy for the first time in his career, a fitting symbol considering he was the one who willed Nedalia into WC29.

Hope and expectancy is all nice and wonderful, but a closer look at Group C shows a tough, tough task at hand. The most notable matchup, ofcourse, will be against our very close friends Jeruselem. Our U21 record versus them is good; our senior squad record doesnt exist, putting even more meaning to the game. While it will be friendly on all side (we would not allow any less from our side), Jeruselem, a team the Lions have always looked up to as an example, will be doing no favors to us, and they will be disappointed if we didnt deliver the same. They are ranked #7 for a reason; they are damned good football team. We actually believe that they will be there when the Semi-Finals roll around. The fact that they only dropped 1 game during the qualifying rounds shows an intense concentration and determination from the squad.

Ranking-wise, our friends arent even the best in the group. That honour goes to New Montreal States, who are place at #6, and have the talent in the squad to back up that claim. Infact, they seem to be one the silent favorites to make it to the Finals. The Lions say theyd have to get past us first, a matchup that will be difficult to both sides. This is a team that went 12-1-1 in the qualifying rounds, finishing 9 points ahead of ASMV, proving to be one of the most impressive teams on display. They will find out, however, when they face Jeruselem and Schiavonia, that ranking will mean very little if they arent on top of their game. When they are, which they have showed in recent games, this is one of the toughest teams in the entire tournament, with a Finals spot not too far off.

Schiavonia, ranked #24, is a team totally capable of beating any squad put forth infront of them, including all 3 teams in Group C. They showed spectacular form in the qualifiers, finishing 1 point ahead of Fmjphoenix with a 10-2-2 record. Their media is everywhere, much like their midfield. Commitment is not an issue with this team, and on the field they are all business, as Fmjphoenix found out. While its easy to say NMS and Jeruselem are favored over them, only a fool would. This is a very dangerous team that has the capabilities to provide "upset" after "upset".

We're in this group, so we're allowed to predict with our hearts instead of our heads. Nedalia and Jeruselem to qualify. Dont ask how, why, when, and where, because we don't know. But they will. So lets move on.

Group D:

The final group to feature in Krytenia, on paper, should be one of the easiest to call. Hockey Canada, ranked #4, and Audioslavia, ranked #14, are well separated from Dance 2 Revolution, ranked #26, and Kaze Progressa, the 2nd lowest ranked team in WC29 after Quakemybush, at #51. This is all, ofcourse, on paper.

Hockey Canada came 2nd in their qualifying group behind Spaam, and although a 10-2-2 record can be deemed respectable, there were times when HC didn’t look deserving of their ranking. This remains one of the deadliest teams in the in World Cup, but if their campaign will be a continuation of what went on in the qualifiers, then they will be in a whole lot of trouble. Before the qualifications started, there was talk that this could be the year our SDL buddies would lift the trophy if they played their best. There are no such predictions now. HC has a lot of work infront of them, and a lot of convincing to do, because the likes of Audioslavia will show mercy on no one.

The ‘slaves, as usual, dominated their qualifying group, finishing with a 13-0-1 record with 39 points, an amazing 15 points infront of their nearest competitor, Bequerilina. As always, they were one of the most impressive teams in the qualifying run, but they just never seem to be able to keep it up through the World Cup run. Well, Nedalia likes the ‘slaves and we think they’re going to top Group D because they’re just too talented not to. With Hockey Canada not looking like their usual selves, Audioslavia will have to make sure to pick up the slack and try to take advantage, because right behind them will be another team capable of ruining the hopes of a few nations.

Dance 2 Revolution is an anomaly for us; we hear so much about what they used to be, but yet know very little of what they presently are. Although they finished behind Squornshelous in the qualifiers, they didn’t lose a single game, going 10-4-0 and conceding only 6 goals in their games. A terribly stingy defence will be their calling card, and a decent attack could propel them to the next round. They finished 14 points infront of Anathematic Republics, showing a dominance that could continue to play its part in WC29.

Kaze Progressa might have a storied history, but the present hasn’t been kind to them. They will have a very hard time against the top three seeds in the group, and coming away with any amount of points will be a mighty hefty chore. That being said, anyone who rules out Kaze Progressa might be asking for a deathwish; this team is more than capable of finding a victory in any of their 3 games, even though, on paper, the talent on display seems to point otherwise.

This seems like a 3 way battle between Hockey Canada, Audioslavia, and Dance 2 Revolution, but their qualification hopes is going to come down to one thing: how they do against Kaze Progressa. Any point dropped to them, and believe us, someone will, will most likely lead to them being knocked out. Who knows, maybe the 2nd lowest seed in the entire tournament can manage to put in some victories and send two of the 3 teams crashing out.

Group E:

We’re going to go out on a limp and say Squornshelous will take 9 points out of 9 in this group. That is how impressed we here in Nedalia were with the squad during the qualifiers, where they went 12-2-0, scoring 43 goals and conceding an incredibly low 8 goals. In fact, we’re willing to say the #5 ranked side will be in the Semi-Finals when it comes down to it. The Squornshelousian media were not out of their minds when they predicted their squad would finally end their drought and lift the trophy; they have just as much chance as anyone else. That leaves the 2nd spot in Group E to compete for.

Total n Utter Insanity would seem likely to join Squornshelous in the 2nd round, but their qualifying campaign was not as impressive as it could have been, or really should have been. They finished 2nd behind Spruitland, and only 3 points infront of The Maccabees, conceding 14 goals in the process. While history points in their favor, Ariddia is ready and willing to disprove that theory once and for all.

They are credited as being the nation that first organized the most successful tournament in the entire universe, but their football has never been as famous as their tournament they started. Ranked #25, 10 placed below Total n Utter Insanity, they seem to finally be breaking through, almost 30 World Cups after their idea came to life. They dispatched of Wentland, finishing 9 points infront of them, and took Jeruselem to the wire in their battle for 1st place in the qualifying group. They scored 33 goals, an impressive feat, but also conceded 17, a worrying sign when going against ruthless teams such as Squornshelous. Nevertheless, they have quite a team, and a trip to the 2nd round is likely if they can keep it together and tighten up the backline.

Dear old Chicanada. Although they probably hate our guts, we have a soft spot for the #30 ranked team, and definitely enjoy our rivalry with them. They knocked us out of qualifying for WC27, we knocked them out of qualifying for WC28, and in between, we’ve had a few matches of note as well. They face a difficult task of qualifying out of the group, however, despite their fabulous play in the qualifying stages. Topping perhaps the toughest group in the qualifying stages ahead of Kaze Progressa, Milchama, The Archregimancy, and East Lithuania, they were impressive to say the least, showing a potent attack and a respectable defensive line. The competition at hand, however, in Group E is significantly better than their qualifying group.

Squornshelous is a definite; the rest is up for grabs. While we don’t think they can do it, even Chicanada can find itself in the 2nd round. Our pick, however, will be the winner of the Ariddia vs. Total n Utter Insanity matchup. Whoever can manage to defeat the other will most likely be accompanying ‘shelous to the 2nd round.

GROUP F:

Liverpool England’s Luis Sunderland plies his trade in the Nedalia Premier League, so that immediately endears up to the team. But sentiments aside, We don’t see how LE can fail to qualify for the 2nd round. They are ranked #3 in the world, and they had a fantastic qualifying campaign, earning a 12-2-0 record, scoring an incredible 45 goals and conceding an amazing 7 goals. We’ve named Squornshelous and Jeruselem as our picks for the Semi-Finals so far; you can go ahead and add LE to that list. Too much talent, too much experience, too much going for them to not take atleast 7 points out of this group.

They finished top of their group, but our southern neighbors Spruitland didn’t convince us here in Nedalia that they truly deserved it. Total n Utter Insanity, which finished second, faltered, leaving the Rabbits to take their place, which they did in less than convincing fashion. They conceded 17 goals and were only 4 points ahead of The Maccabees; only 5 points ahead of One Red Dot. The Islands of Qutar and Cataduanes, ranked #27 and #32 respectively, will cause problems for the #18 seed if they continue to play their shaky defence. We are not ruling them out of the 2nd round, far from it, but we are stating that if they don’t show a will to improve, they just might be.

The Islands of Qutar made it to WC29 on the absolute lowest of margins; a +2 Goal Difference over Magnus Valerius. 19 goals scored and 14 conceded points towards mediocrity, a not so potent attack and a not so solid defensive line. Regardless, they are in, and the draw was lucky to them. Save for Liverpool England, they have a chance to defeat any of the other two teams. Ofcourse, at the same time, they could also be Group F’s whipping boys, dropping 9 points out of 9. In all honesty, we expect Spruitland and Cataduanes to battle it out for 2nd, but if they can pull it together and find a way to keep the scoreline low and neat, they might just have a chance. Neither of the teams mentioned above are in particularly good form, so a victory against either can happen.

Cataduanes has the misfortune of being grouped with Liverpool England again; they might be used to them by now, but that doesn’t mean they are going to have a chance of beating them. Instead, they should focus on what they do best; attack. Both Spruitland and Islands of Qutar are not especially solid in the back, and if Cataduanes can manage to score more goals than their counterparts, then it could be them going into the 2nd round.

After Liverpool England, this is a very open group. Any one of the three teams can advance, though our feeling is that itll be either Spruitland and Cataduanes. They play very similar styles, and their attacking play will probably be a bit too much for Islands of Qutar to handle. However, don’t rule them out; if they can keep the scoreline low, as mentioned above, it could be them advancing and the other 2 crashing out.

GROUP G:

We’re already drooling; not even former champions Bedistan, ranked #1 in the universe, are safe from crashing out. Odds are they will probably top the group, but to lock them in as definites would be a no-no. Let us put it this way; the team we believe that is most likely to crash out is ranked #20 (Commerce Heights). Oliverry went a perfect 14-0-0 in their qualifying campaign, and that included victories over Commerce Heights, and McPsychoville, ranked #29, went 8-6-0, not losing a single game.

The group begins with Bedistan, ofcourse. The “other” Lions of the AO are the only team in the world that could probably go toe to toe with the Purple Army, but the group they were drawn into will definitely slow them down a bit. They have 3 incredibly tough matches before thinking about the 2nd round; we doubt they won’t be able to make it, but you never know. Qualification was easy enough; 11-3-0 with 41 goals scored. Their 15 goals conceded might suggest they aren’t quite what they were in the back, but this is still, perhaps, the best team in the universe, a claim that even the Starblaydis wont argue too much.

The most impressive team in the qualifiers, Oliverry, might just prove to be the team to lift it all. The talent is there, and obviously the will is there. 14-0-0 is no small feat; 41 goals and 11 conceded is an even better accomplishment. This is a team capable of taking down any squad; if they can get past this group, then they could very well see the Semi-Finals.

Commerce Heights came 2nd to Oliverry in the qualifying stages, 3 points ahead of The Lowland Clans. They weren’t entirely convincing, and odds are, they just might be the team that finds itself out of the fold when Matchday Three is done. At the same time, they could be one of the team that manages to fight its way to the 2nd round, but it wont be done if they continue performing the way they did in the qualifiers. Not enough of a consistent attack was held together by a convincing backline, but which you have such formidable attacking teams such as Oliverry and Bedistan, you’re bound to concede. Their attack has to do better.

McPsychoville is one of our favorites, even if they don’t make it into the final 16. They might’ve topped what could’ve been the weakest group in the qualifying round, but that takes nothing away from their accomplishment. Fact is, this is a dedicated, hard working team, and proved so by conceding 5 goals (!!). They also only scored 13 goals, so it will be interesting to see which is better: Oliverry or Bedistan’s attack; or McPsychoville’s defense.

Bedistan are favorites; to say the best side in the universe won’t make it to the final 16 takes some kahunas. Ours, incidentally, aren’t too big, so we’ll say this: Bedistan will most likely top the group, and Oliverry will must likely join them in the 2nd round. However, any slip up from either one of these teams could see either one of the other two do some replacing. Every game is important; everyone of them could potentially be the match of the first round.

GROUP H:

Casari (#8) are hosts, Tadjikistan (#11), whom the Lions had the misfortune of facing up against in the qualifying round, are an attacking machine, and Sarzonia (#19), are criminally under-ranked. Poor Bequerilina (#50).

The co-hosts might have the highest ranking in the group, but of the top 3, there is no favorite. Casari automatically qualify because of their hosting duties, so we don’t have a great idea of what they are capable of. We do know, however, that a #8 ranking has to be earned, and Casari have paid their dues. Their task, even infront of their home crowd, is not an easy one. In no other group are there 3 more evenly matched teams, and Casari has to be aware of that.

Tadjikistan were placed in the same qualifying group as Nedalia, and ran out to a 13-0-1 record, scoring 43 goals and conceding 11. They have at their disposal perhaps the most feared striker at the World Cup in Tulberdiev, favorite to win the World Cup Top Goalscorer Award. That said, they have some sort of complex against Sarzonia; they cant seem to defeat them. Going up against the home nation is a difficult task for anyone as well, but with Tulberdiev leading their attack, they could be the most dangerous team in the entire tournament, but they will have trouble against a team that only conceded 6 goals.

Sarzonia topped their group easily, relying primarily on an amazing backline and an impressive attacking line. They finished off with a 10-3-1 record, ahead of Rejistania, and also scored 25 goals. They are former champions, and their #19 ranking doesn’t do them justice at all. AT ALL. Our friends have just as much chance as the other two teams to make it into the Final 16; infact, all three of these teams have the ability to go all the way.

Beceurelia will be unlucky to be drawn into such a tough group, where even the third seed is a potential championship contender. Its tough to see them coming away with more than 1 point, but that isn’t meant to insult the talent of the squad. They are young, hungry, and willing to give it their all, but we all know experience is the main ingredient for success in these World Cups, and Becquerala is somewhat lacking in that department.

Group H will come down to how the Top 3 do against each other. They will all, expectedly, get 3 points from the Becqs, but it is impossible to predict how they will do against one another. So, again, we won’t and we’ll leave it up to destiny.

WORLD CUP 29 is right around the corner, right at our backyard, and frankly, we cant wait!

Rejistania

09-07-2006, 23:13

From TV-R (the state-owned rejistanian TV channel), Esuvortu sijan

Anchorwoman Karela Taki~l sits beind her desk. She is small, her skin is dark, her eyes behind thin glasses, her hair is very long and without curls or locks.
Karela Taki~l: Welcome to Esuvorto sijan! I am Karela Taki~l. This are the highlights in our program for today: (Images are shown while she talks about it: the Najajara Ynu midfielder is leaving a temple with the Na~ovi Nanti manager) Sidekhir Vinali changes to Nanti for an undisclosed transfer sum! (Sere Teki throws a volleyball hard on a red part of the field while a player in red tries to intercept) The Kaju'ny KaMaRi defeated Sikane Viki by a 18:16 and reached the final of the Rejistani Mjinen Cup. (now a picture of the group draw ceremony in Casari is shown) But first: the groups for the 29th World Cup have been drawn.

(the camera shows again Karela Taki~l)
Karela Taki~l: The Casarian and Krytenian FAs have held the group draw today. The Orange-Blues will travel to the nation of Krytenia and play in group 2*. The group consists of: (a blue screen is shown, no, it is no blue screen of death since there is a light blue 2 in the background) Starblaydia, (the name (in purple) fades in) Rejistania, (this name is colored orange-blue) Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (this one is turquoise) and Quakmybush (the grey text fades in)

(Back to Karela Taki~l)
Karela Taki~l: Now let's have a look at our opponents, starting with Quakmybush:

(Several scenes were shown in which the quakmybush players do not appear good)
Karela Taki~l: Quakmybush has had more luck than which was good for them. Or as others say, the quakmybush team has certain moments of talent out of a general mediocrisy. They are quite defensive.

(Other scenes are shown: the Sea Dragons defending against less karelan opponents)
Karela Taki~l: The Andossa Se Mitrin Vega team is one of the teams with a "jisu jet'ta" mentality. The Orange-Blues will be happy if they can score against their defense.

(Starblaydian goal scenes are shown)
Karela Taki~l: Who will stop Starblaydia in this cup? Let's hope that the orange-Blues can vex the clear favorite and steal some points. Now let us look at some comments about this group:

(Eric Frankton is shown. He looks as pale as a ghost, especially compared to the rejistanis. A text on the bottom of the screen says: "Eric Frankton, national coach")
Eric Frankton: (He says something in English and a voiceover translates into rejistanian) We have the chance to defeat every team in this group, this does not mean that we will do it, but we have the chance to get very far in this tournament. I believe in this team!

(The rejistanian Head of Government of the week is shown, an about 60 year-old female person. The text says: "First Representative" the name is not said since, hey, no one remembers it anyways.)
Aierii Meaihil: The Orange-Blues have no longer a world-class defense. However I think with the new tactical changes, they have a chance to make an impression on international stage, if the Random Number God permits.

(The members of N.Ixi Ni appear, the texts "Nane Ixi" and "Nijan Taren" are displayed)
Nijan Taren: The Orange-Blues? They will completely and utterly FAIL! 4th place in the group, behind Quakmybush!
Nane Ixi: Wet dogs! The Orange-Blues will finish this group as 1st!
Nijan Taren: Ahead of Starblaydia? You're joking!
Nane Ixi: I am serious as a stroke!
Nijan Taren: Can it be that you know nothing about soccer?
Nane Ixi: Can it be that all you learned about soccer, you know from me?

*OOC: rejistanis do not exclusively use the latin alphabet. There are many alphabets in use, this is why the groups are numbered in rejistani media.

Bedistan

09-07-2006, 23:57

http://bellsouthpwp.net/h/a/harleyt_1387/bsd_banner.png

World Cup 29: a preview

CASARI -- Well, it's decided, Bedistan gets to take the slightly longer trip to Casari for the opening round of the 29th World Cup. We've been drawn into Group G along with Oliverry, Commerce Heights, and McPsychoville.

In this article, we originally planned to bring you a highly detailed preview complete with odds of virtually every possible outcome. Unfortunately, the BSD's computers like to freeze up with absolutely no warning while working with simple plain text editors, so we're going to have to drop that and just focus on our own group. Because we like to be different, we'll take a look at the teams from bottom to top:

McPsychoville - Don't let the (relatively) low ranking fool you; these guys went undefeated in the closest qualifying group in existence and nobody conceded fewer goals than they did - only Starblaydia tied their number of five. The Lions have a pretty good offense, but the Psychos' back line could prove to be very difficult to crack.

Commerce Heights - We've played Commerce Heights twice before in competitive matches, both of them World Cup quarterfinals. Both times (WC16 and WC22), we won 3-0. Another such win is certainly not a foregone conclusion, but history is on our side.

Oliverry - These guys could be trouble. Unlikely candidates to achieve a perfect 14-0-0 record in qualifying, they nevertheless did so. However, it should be noted that many teams that have had such extremely good qualifying records have choked in the group stage, and Oliverry will still have to keep their heads in the game if they don't want to see a shock early exit.

And of course, what all you gamblers out there are looking for - the odds. We did 500 simulations of the group matches , and based on those results, here's how we think it'll stack up:

Odds of winning the group:
Bedistan 2-7
Oliverry 13-2
Commerce Heights 12-1
McPsychoville 25-1

Odds of advancing to the second round:
Bedistan 1-16
Oliverry 4-5
Commerce Heights 11-4
McPsychoville 7-2

Of course, in the real world of football, there are infinitely more variables than we have taken into account. But still, there you have it. Now let's play some football!

Spaam

10-07-2006, 17:56

SPAAM SPORTS WEEKLY
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Group Of Death? We Think So

Good news: we have the smallest gap in rank between the first seed and the
last seed. Bad news: we're the last seed, and we're in the same group as a
host. Spaam has been drawn into Group A, a tough group which includes
host Krytenia. Here's a rundown of the teams we'll be facing...

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/spaam.jpg
Spaam (28)

We won't be facing ourselves, but its good to know what our chances are.
Most sports commentators in this nation are vaguely hopeful yet don't rate
our chances well. Overseas however the situation is brighter: most critics
are banking on us to surprise, and even possibly top the group. While we
definitely have the chance - we are a better team than in WC27 - we still
don't know whether our star keeper will play.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/bettia.jpg
Bettia (21)

We've never played Bettia before, but we have a good chance against them.
One thing they do have for them, as do all the other teams in the group, is
region advantage. Though the Waffles will prolly make use of Atlantian
Spaam as a temporary base, our three opponents are all AO nations, an AO
does not like the Heartland.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/krytenia.jpg
Krytenia (10)

With the home ground advantage, Krytenia looks good to progress. While we
don't have a good record against them, we beat them last time we met, and
drew them the last time we met at a World Cup (20). Lets face it, we will
most probably lose, but we have a history with this team, so it should be
entertaining.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/fmjphoenix.jpg
Fmjphoenix (9)

One thing will be on our minds, and especially Roskelly's, when we meet this
team. Revenge. When we met this team in WC27, the scored more goals
against us than any other team in history, demolishing us 6:2. We did have a
little ounce of revenge by then winning our other two matches and leaving
them in the lurch, but that doesn't matter. Like last time, we face them first,
but this time, we will be ready. Hopefully.

Schedule

Fmjphoenix vs Spaam
Krytenia vs Spaam
Bettia vs Spaam

Goal Scorers

11 (1) Tehta Trevelyan
8 (4) Crewenna Roskelly
4 (7) Jenifer Uren
3 (10) Budeaux Pomre
2 (20) Eseld Retallack
1 (11) Credan Trethewey
1 (14) Mar'h Menadue

Oliverry

10-07-2006, 18:18

Oliverry drawn with 2 fellows Atlantian Oceanian plus another that doesn't fit in there...

Bedistan:
That team, ranked #1 in the world, is well, the best team in the world. We should be able to beat them, but hardly.

Commerce Heights:
If we can be as sarcastic as we were in the qualifyings, we should beat them...

McPsychoville
We don't know about them, so we will try to guess we'll win!!

Krytenia

10-07-2006, 22:54

Links to finals Stadia are in the scores thread, here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11334212&postcount=17) and here. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11334212&postcount=18)

Fmjphoenix

10-07-2006, 23:40

Cafetiere Cup in full swing, Vikings prepare to prove people wrong again

Despite still being the #9 ranked side in the world, many news corperations around the world seem to have already written off the Vikings as not in good enough form or just not going to be able to keep up with the rest of the group despite going 10-1-3 in qualifying. These Vikings can score, this being one of the most offensivly gifted Fmjphoenix squads to date, scoring 46 goals in qualifying, 22 of those goals coming from top goal scorer Mike Nolan. Enough about qualifying though, now it is time to look towards to the group stages and our own personal group of death.

Krytenia - RANK: 10 - Our eternal Coffee Rivals (TM) and current holders of the Golden Cafetiere. Playing in the second biggest stadium in Krytenia will be an excellent venue for this coffee clash as the Vikings will go balls to the wall to avenge the 3-1 loss in WC26 and reclaim the Golden Cafetiere.

Fmjphoenix - RANK: 9 - We are the top seed in the group, and despite a rough patch in qualifying, we still finished with a resurgence that should carry on to the group stages.

Bettia - RANK: 21 - History bodes well for the Vikings against Bettia, with two 6-1 victories over them in WC26. But this is not the same Bettian side we saw then, therefore they will provide with tough opposition to fight for one of the top spots in the group.

Spaam - RANK: 28 - Revenge against us is all that the Spaamians are thinking when they face off against us in the first matchup of the group stages. In WC27, we defeated them 6-2 but they still qualified ahead of us. First matches are usually important, as they can set the tempo, so expect an explosive matchup as both teams will come with all they have.

World Cup 29 Qualification
------------------------------------------------------------
MD01: Fmjphoenix 5 - 1 Zychibastan
MD02: Fmjphoenix 4 - 2 Schiavonia
MD03: Vaum and Isma 0 - 3 Fmjphoenix
MD04: Fmjphoenix 8 - 1 Mr Chuck Norris
MD05: Northern Caesarea 1 - 1 Fmjphoenix
MD06: Risa-Aramour 2 - 1 Fmjphoenix
MD07: Warrior Treblah 1 - 5 Fmjphoenix
MD08: Zychibastan 0 - 4 Fmjphoenix
MD09: Schiavonia 3 - 2 Fmjphoenix
MD10: Fmjphoenix 0 - 1 Vaum and Isma
MD11: Mr Chuck Norris 2 - 3 Fmjphoenix
MD12: Fmjphoenix 2 - 0 Northern Caesarea
MD13: Fmjphoenix 6 - 1 Risa-Aramour
MD14: Fmjphoenix 2 - 0 Warrior Treblah
-----------------------Group-Stage-------------------------
MD15: Fmjphoenix ? - ? Spaam Country Ground, Dereapolis
MD16: Fmjphoenix ? - ? Bettia Denbigh Park, Ousevale
MD17: Fmjphoenix ? - ? Krytenia New City Stadium, Avidia
------------------------------------------------------------
Record: 10-1-3 | 46 - 15
------------------------------------------------------------
Goal Scorers:
M. Nolan - 22
J. Russell - 8
B. Dougood - 7
R. Silverlake - 4
S. Timmett - 3
A. Jenkins - 2

Krytenia

11-07-2006, 00:00

WORLD CUP 29 - THE OPENING CEREMONY

A hush falls upon the Isserson Stadium as the video screen cuts into life. A timer counts down from thirty seconds; as it hits :28, each second has a still photo backdrop of each previous champion lifting the trophy. Starblaydia's second triumph fades out, and the clock hits :00, accompanied by fireworks.

A clump of children wearing all navy, all white, all red, and all sky blue rush onto the pitch. After many forming many shapes (the trophy, a ball, a dove, and a diving goalkeeper) they form the "joined hands" logo of World Cup XXIX. They scatter off to the outer extremeties of the pitch.

Delegations of all thirty-two nations enter, one by one, starting with Ariddia, then going alphabetically before finishing with Casari (big cheer) and Krytenia (massive cheer.) At the tunnel entrance, World Cup President Ricardo Gomez and tthe leaders of Krytenia and Casari step up to the platform, Krytenian President Dominique Domasca at the microphone.

"I declare the twenty-ninth NationStates Football World Championships officially open, on this, the seventh day of June in the Krytenian year two thousand and fifty."

A triumphant fanfare is played as the pitch is cleared ready for the first game, and, at 5:55pm exactly, the teams from Krytenia and Bettia emerge from the tunnel.

The anticipation was palpable; World Cup season had begun once more.

OOC: OFFICIAL MD1 RP CUTOFF FOR CASARI & KRYTENIA SECTIONS

Jeruselem

11-07-2006, 04:01

The KOOL Report at the World Cup 29

WC29 VENUES ANNOUNCED

The Jeruselem have arrived in Krytenia for their group stage games, and as the travelling Jeruselem Government News report I travel with them. Saying all that, not all JGN reporters are married to Jeruselem coach either so I'm actually "bedded in" (some folks will be uber-duper green at that). So I'm in wonderful Krytenia and game venues have been announced.

A Nedalian fan sent me a cute toy in the mail. A cute little Lion, which I'm naming Claw as it's only one claw as the former owner pulled all the other ones out as a kid. It's cute despite missing a nose and eye as well. I reminded the fan if his 16 year old daughter. I'm sure he's got grey hair if she's anything like me. "Druggie" Dopan said he got molested when he was a kid which explains why he's such a mess and he would happily castrate Joe with chain saw or axe if asked.

I've just heard Joe Jerk lost his job because he sexually harassed some junior male players in the changing rooms. One of them was the CEO's son! What complete twat. Should keep his hands to himself and more gaol time when he goes home. No one's going to hire him now. Joe Jerk is now Joe "kiddie fiddler" Jerk to us.

We're in Avidia (not Ariddia, the nation) and we will be playing other two games in Everton City. We play Nedalia first. Game should be packed out with Jeruselem and Lions fans. Would you believe this is the first time we've played each other in any World Cup excluding any under 21 games? On paper, we should win but upsets happen in the Group stage all the time.

Just for this game, all Jeruselem and Lions fans can get my Bikini calendar for local equivalent of 10 shekels, that's 50% off. Queue up at the JGN van and get your calendar. I'll be there too if you want meet in the flesh (and visual oogling if you really want to say that way). You'll get to see "Claw" too. Fans of my Mum Anna Goldstein will be pleased a new DVD will be released later, it's called "Anna at the World Cup" with all classic moments from her many many many many years covering the World Cup before I took over. It's one to watch for. Mum hasn't retired either, she's not on TV but writes articles for the JGN covering local soccer news. Dad plays senior games so he's not slowing down either.

GW Tree (we call him "Treeman") is getting married after the World Cup to girlfriend Sheree Shrub. I'm sure they will have lots of little plants together. I am the Queen of bad jokes here, but Penny Handi isn't much better. Treeman is good with his dirty jokes which won't be published because they are not suitable for kids. He's not retiring either if folks are wondering. Sheree Shrub is shorter than Treeman too, so the kids will be little.

If you look at www.footballformen.com.jew, a site run by ex-players then I'm features as well as all the coaches including daring Harry. Covers the Joe "kiddie fiddler" Jerk scandal and a section to me. I didn't ask them either, but it's just shameless self-promotion.

Love
Rachel Kool
Official JGN Reporter at the World Cup

MD1

NMS v SCH New City Stadium, Avidia
JER v NED The Mound, Secklow

MD2

NMS v NED Isserson Stadium, Everton City
JER v SCH County Ground, Dereapolis

MD3

NMS v JER Oxley Park, Everton City
SCH v NED Denbigh Park, Ousevale

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

11-07-2006, 06:12

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg
Sea Dragons Fail Starblaydia Test

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from Krytenia.

The Sea Dragons qualified for WC29 easily from their group. And just what was the reward for such great play from the squad from ASMV? A first round match-up with powerhouse Starblaydia. Doesn’t quite seem fair does it? But oh well. You play the matches that are given to you.

So just how did the Sea Dragons handle their meeting with the number two ranked side in the world? In one short and simple answer - poorly. But it really could have turned out a lot worse than the 1-3 final score that it was.

In the Sea Dragons first meeting with Starblaydia on the WC stage, Starblaydia more than proved that the 23rd ranked side in the world was no match for them at all. The attack was relentless. Genesis Galluccio, Micah Swift, and keeper Shaun Conarky had their hands more than full trying to stifle the Starbladi assault. And they were only marginally successful. 3 goals allowed is by far the most that ASMV has given away in quite some time.

The only real surprise from the match was that the defensive minded Sea Dragons managed to score on a Starblaydi squad that had only given up 5 goals in 14 qualification matches. Leena Draghi was the recipient of a gift caused by a mad scramble for the ball that Evan Evans and Pablo Iglesias managed to start in the 58th minute.

The other match in Group B saw the glass slipper of Cinderella shattered 4-0 by Rejistania. And with the Orange-Blues up next for the Sea Dragons, that is very big news. The second place for advancement hangs on the match with Rejis on MD2 of this stage. We must find a way to at least duplicate the 0-0 draw we earned with them in WC28. Last time they moved past us on goal differential. The 4-0 scoreline from their match today will be a lot for us to match on MD3. And for Star to beat them on MD3 by 2 goals is not something we want to rely on. Getting 3 points from Rejis would be a monster lift to our chances of moving on.

Friends Watch:
Ariddia matched Squornshelous 3-3 and stole valuable points in the process.
Tadjikistan drew 1-1 with the Black Cats and now needs to play much better if they want to move on.

Chicanada

11-07-2006, 06:16

Chicanada Daily Rabbler
Where Proper Analysis Goes To Die

A Traditional Tie?
Chaos reigns as Stars score a needed point

Eastentown - At least we got a point.

Chicanada spent the entire second half chasing down Total n utter Insanity, but thanks to some heroric headers by Niam Washington Chicanada gets their third ever point in the Finals thanks to a chaotic 2-all tie in Winton, Casari.

The Group E match started horrendiously with TnUI scoring in the 7th and 23rd minutes to take a very early 2-0 lead into the half. Malli's Gang looked disorganized against the #15 team in the NS world and their problems with penalties reared up in the second goal. One day, maybe we can get a keeper who can read on a (pen)?

Washington got the sputtering to stop in the 49th minute thanks to a pass from Michael Klobee. Then it became a mad dash to get to the tie, as Malli's Diamond formation collapsed into a 5-0-5. TnUI's keeper handled the mad dash by five strikers well, considering out of the Orange Star's 25 shots on goal, 20 came between the 50th minute and Washington's equalizer in the 83rd minute. The team, looking more tired, stayed the course and held off a TnUI out to sock the tired side into an astounding seven minutes of injury time before the final whistle.

Malli, even with the deevolution of the side from polished giant-killers in the Group of Death (that rivals and friends Nedalia have pointed out as a had as hell qualifying group) into a crazy mess, was extremely pleased with the result, saying "these guys and gals showed their worth. This is the kind of game we dropped in our previous Finals matches and even in qualifying and scampering and shooting is what we need in order to show how far Stars footy has come and that Chicanada is ready to take the next step." Washington echoed those comments later on, saying that "we played our asses off out there and no matter how tired I am I would be ready to play against Squornshelous right now."

Thankfully, the side gets some needed rest before getting the #5 team in all the land at the capital of Casari, Tyrellia. Squornshelous got a surprise tie against #25 Aridda 3-all, making Group E the proverbial Group Of Death. Maybe that can sneak the Stars in, even if they sit tied for third due to the GF result.

Leading Scorers:
2 - Niam Washington

Official Chicanada Schedule
MD01- W 3-2 Tessan (Starburst Park, Spears Crossings)
MD02- W 4-2 Third England
MD03- T 0-0 The Archregimancy (New Governess Palace, Kinsington)
MD04- W 4-2 Milchama
MD05- W 3-2 Iaukea (Sacred Heart Terrace, Bishop)
MD06- T 1-1 Kaze Progressa
MD07- W 2-1 East Lithuania
MD08- W 2-1 Tessan
MD09- T 2-2 Third England (Mountainside Fairgrounds, Castille)
MD10- W 2-1 The Archregimancy
MD11- W 3-0 Milchama (TroutCo Field, Cana)
MD12- W 3-0 Iaukea
MD13- W 2-0 Kaze Progressa (Southampton National Square)
MD14- W 3-0 East Lithuania (Cananite Pavillion, Paradiso)
GS01- T 2-2 Total n Utter Insanity (Winton, Casari)
GS02- v Squornshelous (Tyrellia, Casari)
GS03- v Aridda (Ashford, Casari)

Meanwhile, the other groups are following expected results, with the High Seeds winning over the Low ends. Only in three results did the high seeds not win - two resulted in Ties, thanks to the brand new Group of Death, and one came as an upset in McPsychoville's 1-0 victory over the Frenchies of Oliverry. In more interesting news Virgina Nova's head coach pegged the Orange Stars as one of the 16 to advance to the Knockout stage. This surprised us and most Chicanadan news rags, since even we have them finishing fourth. Nedalia was kinder, saying while it probably won't happen we could sneak in. At leat they remembered we exist, which can't be said for Squornshelous in their write-up, making it all about the other three and showing some contempt for the side.

Of course, should we loose 4-0, then the contempt is founded. No?

Tadjikistan

11-07-2006, 09:31

Tigers take false Start

Tyrellia - While the Tigers had an easy qualification campaign, the World Cup group stage seems to be much thougher than the Tadjiks had imagened. Opponents like Sarzonia and casari were already though sides to play, now the Tigers failed to beat the only 'weak side in their group: Becquerelia.

Of these two teams the Tigers may rely on one of the best strikers in the group; Tulberdiev, and offcourse a number of offensive-minded players in his support. Together they are all we need to beat these Black Cats. But our smaller cousins have placed the emphasis of their team on defense and the Becquarelian defense turned out to be a problem for the Tadjik Strikers.

'Yeah Tulberdiev did score a goal in the seventienth minute, their goalkeeper is not of the same quality as ours, but they've got five defenders working on our nerves all the time. We scored only because Tulberdiev is good.' Nikolay Elisarov said after the match, signifying Tadjikistans lack of success in defeating their enemies.

The Tadjik defenders did a good job overall and was able to keep the Black Cats as a safe distance for most of the game blocking several moves by Conveniencia and Khalef, though they could not prevent the latter from scoring in the second half with a header during a corner shot. Piotr Monhakyiev, who saw the tape of this game seven times after the match, noticed what went wrong 'Gyurza, the best of our defenders and also one of the tallest, was supposed to keep an eye on Khalef, but if you check the whole situation you'll see that there's no contact between the two at the time the shot is sent into the pack. Andrej [Gyurza] is watching the shot and then responds. It means he no longer has the time to jump high enough and avert the assist to Khalef. A Becquerelian goal is the result.'

Monhakyiev, succesful during the qualifications, which were called weak by the Becquerelian side, remained calm and realistic about Tadjikistans chances: 'It wont be easy to beat Sarzonia but we'll have to. Right now my strategy involves a win against Sarzonia and if possible, a tie to the Casarans. If all goes well, the Casarans will beat the Black Cats and we move on with 5 points. And dont give me that negative crap, because I'm certain we can pull this off.'

Tadjikistan 1-1 Becquerelia
Tulberdiev '17 Khalef '74

Fixtures:
MD1: Tadjikistan - Iansisle W 3-0
MD2: Tadjikistan - Nedalia W 2-0
MD3: The Kazoo Peoples - Tadjikistan L 1-2
MD4: Tadjikistan - Kirstiriera W 4-1
MD5: Molvania - Tadjikistan W 1-4
MD6: Ozzelia - Tadjikistan W 2-4
MD7: Dicuban - Tadjikistan W 0-3
MD8: Iansisle - Tadjikistan W 2-3
MD9: Nedalia - Tadjikistan W 0-1
MD10: Tadjikistan - The Kazoo Peoples W 3-0
MD11: Kirstiriera - Tadjikistan W 0-4
MD12: Tadjikistan - Molvania W 2-0
MD13: Tadjikistan - Ozzelia W 5-0
MD14: Tadjikistan - Dicuban W 4-3
-------------WC29-----------------------------
MD1: Tadjikistan - Becquerelia T 1-1
MD2: Tadjikistan - Sarzonia
MD3: Casari - Tadjikistan

Tadjik Goalscorers
Tulberdiev - 15 (WC29=1)
Zyrianov - 10
Berzarin - 5
Elisarov - 4
Yarygin - 2
Nabiyev - 1
Maximov - 1
Gyurza - 1
Kirponos - 1

Ariddia

11-07-2006, 11:26

Group E all tied up

The Rouge-et-Noirs began their World Cup proper with what was, on paper, their most difficult match. Squornshelous’ supporters outnumbered the Ariddians in Emery Field stadium in Casari, but the latter were not to be outdone, chanting, cheering and waving flags throughout the match. As announced, young midfielder Tadjou Sheyi Senaya took the place of star player Hanifah Kyaw, on maternity leave.

Billions around the world were able to see the team give an energetic, determined performance of the ulek, the ancient Indigenous Ariddian war chant and dance which precedes all their games. Squornshelous’ players faced it unflinchingly, and then the match was underway.

With Ariddia ranked only 25th in the world, and third in Group E, the team is not among the favourites to make it into the top sixteen. Very few foreign commentators have predicted them advancing – Jeruselem reporter Rachel Kool being one of the few exceptions, which instantly increased her popularity throughout Ariddia. As for the Squornshelan media, they apparently believed they had nothing to fear except from Total n Utter Insanity. The Rouge-et-Noirs therefore have nothing to lose, a lot to gain, and a point to prove.

As early as the fourth minute, the team were given a stark reminder that this is a top-level competition. Iannis Xenakis somehow found an angle of attack through Ariddia’s defence, and slammed a powerful shot towards Leduc’s goal cage. The latter just managed to deflect the ball over the bar, conceding a corner kick, to the sound of cheers from immensely relieved Ariddians. The shot was taken by Oleg Petrov, headed out of the danger zone by James Fields, and rapidly cleared by John Sanjeeb.

The first major opportunity for the Ariddian side came in the twenty-first minute. Faraj raced through the Squornshelan defence, and only at the last possible moment, inside the penalty box, did Giyaquil tackle and snatch the ball away. Faraj tripped and fell, and many Ariddian supporters immediately shouted for a penalty kick, but Faraj sportingly shook his head: there had been no foul.

As if to make up for that disappointment, Tadjou Shenaya scored the opening goal for Ariddia just four minutes later. The twenty-five year-old midfielder, who is taking part in his first ever World Cup, looked startled at his own achievement, a zoom-in from the cameras recording his look of surprise moments before his team mates piled upon him to cheer and congratulate him. Wol Eosh gave the almost shy-looking Senaya an excited kiss on the cheek.

Perhaps jolted by this unexpected turn of events, Squronshelous stepped up the pressure and scored the next two goals, leading by 2-1 at half-time, with goals by Kamaka and Syvatov.

Not to be discouraged, Ariddia began the second half with the exact same eleven players, and was rewarded for its repeated efforts when Ul U equalised in the sixtieth minute. A draw was more than many would have hoped for, and the Ariddians cheered continuously as the game progressed without Squornshelous seemingly being able to regain the lead. Then, in the eighty-fourth minute, all of Ariddia erupted in a burst of joy as Ta I broke the deadlock, scoring and putting her country ahead of the world’s number 5.

Supporters everywhere held their breath, with six minutes left on the clock. Six long minutes during which Ariddia’s amazing victory could still be lost.

Israel Kamaka shattered Ariddia’s hopes in the eighty-eight minute, scoring the sixth and final goal in the match, and ending the game on a draw as Bazalonian referee David Dre finally blew his whistle. Disappointed at having come so close to an unexpected victory, Ariddian supporters were nonetheless able to celebrate a tie against one of the world’s best teams.

“If we’d had Kyaw with us, we might even have won it!” an excited fan insisted.

“We still need to win our next two games,” coach Melenciuc warned, sounding a note of caution. “But today our lads and lasses have proved they’re in top form, and that they fully deserve their place here amongst the world’s best.”

Elsewhere, world top team Bedistan began comfortably with a 3-0 win over Commerce Heights, Liverpool England smashed the Islands of Qutar 5-0, and Andossa Se Mitrin Vega scored one against powerhouses Starblyadia but nonetheless lost 1-3. Rejistania confirmed their change of tactics as they beat everyone’s favourite underdog, Quakmybush, by 4-0, and Jeruselem beat Nedalia 3-1.

In Group E, Total n Utter Insanity were held to a 2-2 draw by an impressive team from Chicanada, putting everyone in the group on an equal footing with a single point. Chicanada’s skill is possibly bad news for Ariddia, but the Rouge-et-Noirs’ immediate concern will be to defeat their neighbours from Uhuhland.

“We can do it,” Melenciuc said. “We’re on the rise. We put in three goals today against Squornshelous, and TnUI struggled against Chicanada. We’ll train hard and prepare well, and I know we can beat them.”

Nedalia

11-07-2006, 13:02

The Nedalia Lions

Matchday One Round-Up

It was all around excitement on Matchday One, complete with expected scores and a few keynote surprises. Our own Nedalia Lions were also playing against our very good friends Jeruselem, and although we didnt come away with any points, it was hard fought game complete with full action. So without further ado, lets get right down to it.

Group A

One of the most exciting matches on the first Matchday pitted our northwestern neighbors, and hosts, Krytenia against our eastern neighbors [/b]Bettia[/b]. Nothing less than an attacking display was expected; they didnt disappoint, ending the game in a highly entertaining 2-2 draw. In the other match, Fmjphoenix got their campaign off in the right direction, defeating Spaam 3-1.

The Bettians face Fmjphoenix on Matchday Two, a tie that should presumably be harder on the leaders of the group. The Aroras showed they could keep up with the higher ranked teams in the group, nearly stealing a victory away from Krytenia on their home turf. As for the hosts, based on the performances of Matchday One by Spaam, they will have an easier time gaining 3 points than they did against the fellow Verdenians.

Group B

Any talk about Rejistania not being one of the top dogs at this tournament was quickly dashed as they putting the hurtin' to newcomers, and lowest seed, Quakemybush. The #85 ranked team could get no where near the Rejistanian goal, while the former Karelans destroyed them at the opposite end, ending with a convincing 4-0 victory that has restored the faith of many in the Orange-Blues.

The defending champions Starblaydia also got their campaign off to a clean start with a 3-1 victory over a resilient Andossa Se Mitrin Vegan side. For ASMV, it was Leena Danghi who got the goal after confusion in the Starblaydi defense, scoring against a team that conceded only 5 goals in the qualifiers. Despite that, the Starblaydis look as sharp as ever, and will be looking to seal their qualification from the group on Matchday Two against Quakemybush, leaving their toughest match, against Rejistania, as nothing more than a warmup for the 2nd round. The Rejistanians, however, face a tough task against ASMV, who will be looking to gain atleast a point from the Orange-Blues before their Matchday Three game against Quakemybush. A win for the Rejistanians ensures them of qualification, so they will be coming out with all guns blazing.

Group C

Jeruselem showed us the difference between a great team and a good one, defeating the Lions 3-1 after a grueling match. They went up 2-0 during the 1st half after two well struck shots from striker Takahashi Masurashi, taking advantage of Nedalia's nervous start. The 2nd half became a different story, however, as the Lions came out and played their own game, scoring in the 56th minute through Nene before Geoff Shout but the game beyond any doubt at the 84th minute mark.

This leaves Jeruselem on top of the table, tied on points with New Montreal States, who were given all they could handle by Schiavonia, narrowly escaping from Matchday One with a 1-0 victory. They'll be happy to get the 3 points from a match that Schiavonia will be frustrated from, justifiably believing they should have came away with atleast one point.

Nedalia now faces New Montreal States on Matchday Two, and if the Lions can perform like they did in the 2nd half of the Jeruselem game against the slow starting NMS, anything is possible. One of the pre-tournament favorites, NMS were worryingly inefficient going forward, and the last they would want is a qualification decider against Jeruselem on MD3. Speaking of Jeruselem, they could pretty much wrap up their advancement with a victory over Schiavonia, but based on their performance against NMS, that could be easier said than done. Regardless, Nedalia is behind our Group C mates, hoping they can find themselves in the 2nd round after MD2.

Group D

Again, the qualification process fooled us into believing a team would struggle, and again we were proved wrong. Hockey Canada demolished Dance 2 Revolution 3-0, signalling to all that thought they wouldn't do well to kindly take their foots out of their mouths. The attacking power showcased by HC, coupled with a terrifying defense, has people mentioning them as potential Semi-Finalists already, and although we believe its too early to judge, if this type of performances keep up, there is nothing standing in their way.

We predicted that whoever dropped the points against Kaze Progressa would be the one who crashed out, and it was very nearly Audioslavia who came away with a 3-2 victory after an equal match in every aspect. Predictably, the Audioslavians came away with the 3 points, but the fact that they conceded 2 goals against what was believed to be the weakest team in the group is a very worrying sign. On the other side, Kaze Progressa will be frustrated but pleased; if they could push Audioslavia to the wire, they could technically do the same against HC and even manage to conjure up a victory against a less than impressive Dance 2 Revolution side. If both the D2R and KP lose on MD2, then they both bid adieu to the World Cup and their MD3 meeting will mean absolutely nothing.

To Be Continued...

Jeruselem

11-07-2006, 13:10

<later in the day>

"This is Rachel Kool reporting for JGN at the World Cup 29. Well, it's over. The first ever game where Jeruselem and Nedalia have met in the World Cup. 7th seed vs 31th seed, but friendships aside on the field because of one thing - making the 2nd round. Basically we play the Paladins last, and we cannot afford to lose this game in case one of the other teams in Group decide to make the big move. I know many have watched this game live on JGN and have mixed loyalties. The final score is Jeruselem 3, Nedalia 1. Yes, Jeruselem crushed the Lions today but we still have two games left. The Lions still can win the next two with some help from Jeruselem winning their games. It's sad we have inflict this loss, but the knockout stages are never certain so we'll take all the points on offer. He play Schiavonia next and then the Paladins who beat Schiavonia 1-0. Jeruselem and Paladins with a win each, the others nothing. Well, like poor old Claw here - the Lions got beaten but he lives to fight on and so will the mighty Lions. Oh yes, the Bedistan Lions won their game too."

<waves a small toy Lion with missing eye and nose, and one claw only>

"Well, this little fella Claw was given to me by a fan as reported in my daily report. I'm going to give him a hug and pretend it's a Nedalian fan to reassure Nedalia despite the current result."

<hugs toy>

"This is Rachel Kool reporting for JGN. Goodnight and sweet football dreams to everyone except maybe that Joe Jerk guy."

Group C
New Montreal States 1:0 Schiavonia
Jeruselem 3:1 Nedalia

Spaam

11-07-2006, 13:53

SPAAM SPORTS WEEKLY
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

At Least They Didn't Score Six

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/spaam.jpg VS http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/fmjphoenix.jpg

The Waffles were out for revenge against the Vikings, but were still without
their main keeper Arthur, with rookie Sowena Prisk taking up the slack. The
crowd was a sea of orange and black, and blue and green, with a large
contingent of Spaamanians in Krytenia for what is suprisingly only their 12th
appearance at a World Cup, despite having been involved for well over 100
years. Ariddian referee Charlie Nguyen was on duty for this, the second
match of the 29th World Cup.

Spaam started the game strongly, playing a very physical game, and not
letting Fmjphoenix in anywhere where they could help it. Steren Kerkin was
the first player picked up on it, given a yellow card for tackling the player in
the square, giving the Vikings' Nolan a free kick in the 21st minute. Prisk
went the wrong way, and Fmjphoenix were leading one nil. Not that the
Vikings were immune - Jenkins was given a yellow for elbowing out Waffles
midfielder Crewenna Roskelly.

The game was finally evened up in the 38th minute thanks to star striker
Tehta Trevelyan, a masterful strike coming from a set play off a corner.
Fmjphoenix tried desperately to reply before the break, and Kerkin went in
too strong at one of their players. The Spaamanians were gutted as she was
given a second yellow card and sent off, pushing them down to 10 players.
Fmjphoenix didn't score again, but the damage was done: Spaam was on the
back foot against the number 9 team in the world.

The Waffles were more careful in the second half as they tried to salvage at
least a point from the match, but the Vikings were too strong. Nolan scored
his second in the 54th minute, and Russell put the game out of Spaam's reach
in the 74th. There was a late chance from Trevelyan in the final minute, but
he was ruled offside, and the match finished as a comprehensive victory for
the Vikings, 3 goals to none.

Fmjphoenix 3:1 Spaam

The loss has not completely ruined the Waffles chances, as Krytenia and
Bettia drew two goals apiece. However, Spaam face Krytenia next, who as
hosts have the home ground advantage, and are ranked 10th in the world.
The Waffles will need to at least draw to have any chance of making the next
round. However, no matter what, they have performed much better than
expected, casting off the stigma of the last World Cup qualifiers.

Group A GP W T L PTS GD GF GA
Fmjphoenix 1 1 0 0 3 2 3 1
Krytenia 1 0 1 0 1 0 2 2
Bettia 1 0 1 0 1 0 2 2
Spaam 1 0 0 1 0 -2 1 3

Matches

Group Stage

Fmjphoenix 3:1 Spaam
Krytenia vs Spaam
Bettia vs Spaam

Dance 2 Revolution

11-07-2006, 14:26

Cruel Game

Dance 2 Revolution all but out after crash landing against Hockey Canada

Dance 2 Revolution ended their unbeaten streak of 14 games by being absolutely dominated by a Hockey Canada side, desperate to prove they are a force to be reckoned in this World Cup. The 3-0 scoreline did not at all flatter Hockey Canada, as the deficit could, and probably indeed should, have been greater as the meeting, which was the first ever between these two sides, was used by Hockey Canada as a stepping stone to the next round.

Another unimpressive display from Dance 2 Revolution in the next matchday against Audioslavia would eliminate the Revolutionaries and put an end to what will have turned out to be another disappointing cup for them. The history between the two sides does not look good, with only one match previous to this going in Audioslavia’s favour, taking them to the World Cup 19s Final:

World Cup 19 Semi Final: Audioslavia 0 – 0 Dance 2 Revolution (0-0 AET, 4-3 APK)

The same result after 90 minutes would not eliminate D2R, but make it very difficult for them, and a serious trashing of Kaze Progressa would be needed, as well as a Hockey Canada win over Audioslavia, for Dance 2 Revolution to be able to qualify on goal difference. Dance 2 Revolution’s record over Kaze Progressa is a positive one, with Kaze Progressa only getting a flukey 3-0 win in the last World Cup:

World Cup 20 Group Stage Day 3: Kaze Progressa 0 – 2 Dance 2 Revolution
CoH (for WC26) Day 1: Kaze Progressa 0 – 1 Dance 2 Revolution
World Cup 28 Day 7: Kaze Progressa 3 – 0 Dance 2 Revolution
World Cup 28 Day 14: Dance 2 Revolution 1 - 0 Kaze Progressa

However, Footballing Experts in Dance 2 Revolution have already called for for the large E to be displayed in the tables.

Everybody can see that Dance 2 Revolution had already been eliminated before the Hockey Canada match had been started. We haven’t got to the next stage of the World Cup in 36 years, I don’t see why anyone in their right minds can think we’ll get there soon. Audioslavia will destroy us and Kaze Progressa will break tradition and beat us too, start preparing for WC30! In my expert predictions, D2R will not reach the next stages of the cup until at least WC32.

Naoki Maeda, D2R footballing legend and head of the Revolutionarian Football Association, talked after this outburst:

Oh come on! Does anyone actually believe the D2R footballing experts anymore? These are the same guys that predicted that I and my team of old couldn’t get through qualifying in World Cup 17! The only match they thought we’d win was Liverpool England, and I’m sure that report was made in sarcasm. Who believed they thought we could win 404586020-0? Anyway, it’s ludicrous to question the ability and fighting spirit of the D2R team. We’re a footballing nation that continually shocks the critics and fights against the odds. I know it is hard to believe, BUT D2R CAN DO IT!

And speaking of odds, here are some of the odds being offered in D2R betting shop “Kredits”:

Audioslavia: 4-6
Draw: 7-2
Dance 2 Revolution: 20-3

Hockey Canada to qualify: 1-3
Audioslavia to qualifying: 6-4
Dance 2 Revolution to qualify: 350-1
Kaze Progressa to qualify: 225-2

Dance 2 Revolution to win the World Cup: 2 500 000 – 1

And the GROUP D table

Team P W D L GF GA GD
1. Hockey Canada 1 1 0 0 3 0 +3
2. Audioslavia 1 1 0 0 3 2 +1
3. Kaze Progressa 1 0 0 1 2 3 -1
E. Dance 2 Revolution 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3

Cataduanes

11-07-2006, 17:10

Islanders falter at Lerian Fields

In front of 45'000 at the Lerian field stadium the Islanders faced the highly rated Spruitland, the Islanders needed to hit the ground running instead they stumbled, two disastrous back passes by substitute Angel Santos late in the game allowed Spruitland to score twice 5 minutes from the end of the second half. Regardless the Islanders lack lustre throughout the game and never looked like puncturing the backline. Cataduanes face Liverpool England at the Tyrellian Ylompic stadium and even a draw seems highly doubtful on todays showing, to be frank it looks like the Islanders are set for the third WC exit at the first round stage.

Bedistan

11-07-2006, 17:17

http://bellsouthpwp.net/h/a/harleyt_1387/bsd_banner.png

Here we go again

CASARI -- Bedistan and Commerce Heights have been fierce rivals for a very long time, stretching all the way back to when CH first entered World Cup qualifying over 90 years ago. Despite them being our neighbors, we never played against them in any competitive match for four decades, finally meeting in the quarterfinals of World Cup 16, a match that resulted in a convincing 3-0 win for the Lions. The process was repeated in World Cup 22: another quarterfinal against CH, another 3-0 win for Bedistan. And now, coming into this World Cup 29 group stage match, the people of the newly renamed Unified Capitalizt States were looking to buck the trend.

However, the Capitalizts started the game off on the wrong foot (if you'll pardon the pun) when an errant backpass from 송국혜 (Soŋ Gug-he) was intercepted by Bedistani striker Monty Salas and effortlessly sent into the net for a quick seventh-minute goal. Gug-he was afterward called to the sideline by team coach Randall Thacker, who gave him a rather large chunk of gold, apparently intended as an incentive to play better for the rest of the match. Gug-he's performance did improve, but whether this was a direct result of the "bribe" is impossible to determine.

The Capitalizts were able to mount a few determined attacks on the Bedistani goal later in the half. Their best chance came from Sebastian Metzger right at the half-hour mark, but goalkeeper Vailatai Issah arrived just in time to make a rather hasty clearance that barely kept the ball out of the goal. Nothing significant came from the resulting corner kick.

Up 1-0 at halftime, the Lions weren't quite ready to rest yet. Capitalizt right winger Carlton Miranda tried to hold on to the ball for quite some time under heavy pressure from Flarénsia Juniënta and Jerry Crowley; Crowley finally managed to steal the ball and made a quick pass up to Felipa Alansa, who barely managed to stay onside for the pass. Alansa quickly found herself one-on-one with goalkeeper 김세석 (Gim Se-sūg), and she powered a perfect shot into the upper right corner of the net, mere inches out of Se-sūg's reach, putting the Lions up 2-0. Ten minutes later, Bedistan put the match beyond doubt as Leonard Hollins scored goal number three from a free kick 25 yards out. Another Bedistan-Commerce Heights match, another 3-0 win for the Lions.

finalscore
BEDISTAN 3 (Salas 7, Alansa 62, Hollins 72)
COMMERCE HEIGHTS 0

Nedalia

11-07-2006, 17:29

The Nedalia Lions

Matchday One Roundup: Casari

Group E

Squornshelous, one of our favorites to win the whole thing here in Nedalia, showcased a typical potent attack against Ariddia, putting 3 goals past them. The problem was, their defense failed to show, allowing the Ariddians to put 3 past them, as well, leaving the final score 3-3. In fact, it was an 88th minute goal by Israel Kamaka that saved Squornshelous humiliation, and most definite ridicule back at home. They were given all sorts of problems by the Ariddian attack, which sent wave after wave in the 2nd half. With such an impressive performance against the top ranked team in the group, Ariddia now can approach Total n Utter Insanity and Chicanada with confidence, knowing they can keep up with both teams, if not defeat them.

Squornshelous wasn't the only team in the group to be held by a lesser ranked team; Chicanada pulled off a 2-2 draw against TnUI, who continue their mediocre run which began in the qualifiers. They havent looked convincing in the back, and theyre midfield ran into all sorts of problems against the Chicanadans. With all teams tied at 1 point, it suddenly becomes a free for all in Group E, perhaps leading up to an ultra-climatic MD3.

GROUP F

The Islands of Qutar were predicted to have a tough time in the World Cup for us, and for once it seems, we got it right. We suggested that if they could keep the scorelines low, then they would have a chance considering their offence seemed lacking. Well, their offence was definitely lacking and they didn't manage to keep the scoreline low...at all. Liverpool England, whom we predicted to be one of the favorites, rocked Islands of Qutar 5-0, destroying any hope they had for doing well in the competition. Its hard to seem them bouncing back after such a terrifying loss, and surely their morale must be dented. LE, on the otherhand, displayed such ruthless efficiency infront of the goal that its tough not to look at them as sure Semi-Finalist.

It seems very unlikely that anyone will take 3 full points away from LE, so the other three teams will be battling each other for the rights to qualify to the 2nd round. Spruitland have taken the early advantage against Cataduanes after handing them a 2-0 loss, showcasing a defensive confidence that they lacked in the qualifying rounds. The victory in itself was convincing enough to suggest that it will be Islands of Qutar and Cataduanes, who played with a lack of purpose for most of the match, exiting after the group stages if MD1 is anything to go by.

GROUP G

The biggest surprise of MD1 was, actually, not such a big surprise for us here. We've been hot on McPsychoville since the qualifying rounds, and we said so during our exhaustive preview of WC29. Well, they managed to defeat the most impressive teams, as well as most offensively gifted teams, in the qualifiers, taking down Oliverry 2-0. Our fellow AOians will be absolutely shocked; in fact, its being reported that no Oliverrian has muttered a single word anywhere since the final whistle. Based on their qualifiers performance, this was supposed to be a team that was going to make a lot of noise; indeed, McPsychoville showcased such class and comfort on the ball, the only noise that Oliverry will make is the sound of weeping. With this being possibly the toughest group, it wont get any easier for them.

The 2nd match in the group pitted Bedistan, perhaps the best team in the world, against Commerce Heights, a team which has seen better days. After the match in Four Towers, nothing has changed. The Lions of Bedistan easily disposed of CH 3-0 in such convincing fashion the Purple Army mustve been shaking in their boots. We have a feeling Starblaydia and Bedistan are going to inevitably face each other, whether in the Final or before. Commerce Heights, however, wont be around to see it. Granted, they played the finest team at the World Cup possibly, but Oliverry, despite their loss, arent much easier to deal with, and McPsychoville might just be the toughest match of all.

GROUP H

Shocker of the Matchday One? We've already covered McPsychoville, but what about Casari's 4-1 demolishment of Sarzonia, or Tadjikistan being held to 1-1 by Bicquerelena. We claimed Sarzonia were underranked; now, we're definitely not so sure. 4-1? The co-hosts showed, again, why they were ranked #8 in the world, and showed it agaisnt one of the most talented teams in the world. The fact that the Sarzonian backline was so easily penetrated has rang the alarm bells over in central AO, but the good news is, Tadjikistan, the favorites to qualify out of the group, are still only 1 point ahead of the Stars.

Becquerelanala did the amazing against the Tigers; they held a 1-1 with a solid 5 man backline that proved trouble for the otherwise unstoppable Tadjikistani front line, led by Tulberdiev. This, ofcourse, doesn't rule them out by a long shot, but given Casari's impressive victory, it will make it much tougher. Sarzonia looks like they could hand over 3 points to them, but anyone who overlooks the Stars is asking for punishment. The decider should be the Tadjikistan-Sarzonia matchup; whoever wins that appears to be the one who will qualify. Unless, ofcourse, Becqeaurliea do what they did on MD1.

Becquerelia

11-07-2006, 19:28

And we turn back around to see what's behind us:

http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/tadjikistan.gif Tadjikistan - 1__________1 - Becquerelia http://www.geocities.com/becquerelia/images/becquerelia.gif

FIT TO BE TIED
Result Is One Big World Cup Surprise

TYRELLIA, CASARI (JNS) - In what has to be considered to be one of the great surprises in the early stage of World Cup 29, Becquerelia pulled off a surprise 1-1 tie against Tadjikistan.

"Hey, we're in this. We're very much in this." said Head Coach Mark Crescentini after the game.

"We've had doubters, and this should put some of those doubts to rest." said Assisstant Coach Peter Constantine.

The game started out strong for Tadjikistan, as they started out with the ball, and kept possession for 20 of the first 26 minutes. But even with this superiority over the football, they failed to capitalize initially.

"I got some luck, I got some great saves. There was the one shot that got through, but that could have happened to anyone," said Goalkeeper Tyrannio Licausi, who got his hands on a Tadjikistan shot in the 32nd minute, but failed to hold on to it, leading to Tadjikistan Forward Zyrianov sliding in and knocking the ball into the goal past a astonished Licausi.

Even with the Tadjikistan offensive superiority, the Black Cats employed a bend but don't break defensive strategy that kept the score low, and slowed down the opposing team greatly in the second half, allowing the Becquerelian offense to make a stand, leading to a Paul Annunziata goal in the 60th minute.

Said Annunziata after the game, "This is definitly a boost. And not just for us, but for all the Becquerelians who got out here to see us. It shows that we aren't flukes, we can play with the best in the world, and we can really go places. I can't wait for the Casari game, this should be good."

Becquerelia's Upcoming Schedule
WIN DRAW LOSS
MD01: Tadjikistan - 1 Becquerelia - 1
MD02: Casari (1-0-0) vs. Becquerelia (0-1-0)
MD03: Sarzonia (0-0-1) vs. Becquerelia (0-1-0)

Fmjphoenix

11-07-2006, 22:17

Vikings start of right, survive aggresive Waffles

With talks around the world speculating the Vikings dropping off, they did no such thing. Mike Nolan scored a goal in each half and Jack Russell scored a late goal to help the Vikings take advantage of a Spaamian first half send off and open up the World Cup 29 finals with a 3-1 vicotry.

It was a very physical first half for both sides, but it was the Spaamians who were hit first. Steren Kerkin was the first to go overboard, tackling in the box giving Nolan a free kick where he induced Prisk to dive wrong and it was 1-nil after 21 minutes. Andrew Jenkins earned himself a yellow for elbowing Crewenna Roskelly barely a minute after Nolan's goal.

World Cup 29 Qualification
------------------------------------------------------------
MD01: Fmjphoenix 5 - 1 Zychibastan
MD02: Fmjphoenix 4 - 2 Schiavonia
MD03: Vaum and Isma 0 - 3 Fmjphoenix
MD04: Fmjphoenix 8 - 1 Mr Chuck Norris
MD05: Northern Caesarea 1 - 1 Fmjphoenix
MD06: Risa-Aramour 2 - 1 Fmjphoenix
MD07: Warrior Treblah 1 - 5 Fmjphoenix
MD08: Zychibastan 0 - 4 Fmjphoenix
MD09: Schiavonia 3 - 2 Fmjphoenix
MD10: Fmjphoenix 0 - 1 Vaum and Isma
MD11: Mr Chuck Norris 2 - 3 Fmjphoenix
MD12: Fmjphoenix 2 - 0 Northern Caesarea
MD13: Fmjphoenix 6 - 1 Risa-Aramour
MD14: Fmjphoenix 2 - 0 Warrior Treblah
-----------------------Group-Stage-------------------------
MD15: Fmjphoenix 3 - 1 Spaam Country Ground, Dereapolis
MD16: Fmjphoenix ? - ? Bettia Denbigh Park, Ousevale
MD17: Fmjphoenix ? - ? Krytenia New City Stadium, Avidia
------------------------------------------------------------
Record: 10-1-3 | 49 - 16
------------------------------------------------------------
Goal Scorers:
M. Nolan - 24
J. Russell - 9
B. Dougood - 7
R. Silverlake - 4
S. Timmett - 3
A. Jenkins - 2

New Montreal States

11-07-2006, 23:13

Misfiring in Avida

Faulkner picks up late goal as Paladins sputter against Sloths

AVIDA, KRYTENIA - The Schiavonia Sloths satisfactorially showed signs that should convince suspicious spectators that they surely are a superlative, surprising side, shutting down a shocked, shitfaced Paladins offense last night in Krytenia.

Lengthy, pointless alliteration aside, the States were damn lucky to scrape out three points. They would have been damn lucky to scrape out one were it not for the stellar keeping job of Paul Chasson, picking up eleven saves and being, in the words of coach William Branstone, "the only guy out there earning his pay."

The NMS offense looked somewhat hung over, as if the time spent in our newly established secrety resort deep in the jungles of AO had somehow contrived to give them all massive hangovers.

"As punishment for their poor behavior, I'm bringing in a leading theologian from the Archregimancy to lecture the side on the evils of drink and loose women," said Branstone after the match. "Chasson can skip."

William Faulkner provided the lone moment of offensive brilliance for the blue and silver in the match with a 77th-minute solo dribble, deke and in over the head of the Sloths keeper to salvage some points for the States, who face a Nedalia side that senses weakness, probably rightly.

PALADINS 1 - Faulkner 77
SCHIVONIA - 0

TOURNAMENT SCORING

Villeneuve 7
H. Labranche 6
Faulkner 5
Corcoran 3
Toussaint 3
Pilon 2
Tessier 2
Crèvecoeur 1
Darcy 1
Hunyadi 1
F. Labranche 1
Plattsburgh 1
St-Édouard 1
Vaillancourt 1

Casari

11-07-2006, 23:44

He held the ticket in his hand jealously. He didn't know that it came from a woman at his father's work who had been going though a bitter divorce, but if he did know, and were a few years older, he wouldn't care anyway. It was his now, and that was what was important.

Casari V Sarzonia
Tyrellian Ylompic Stadium
Section 112
Row 27
Seat 5

It was Mike Triari's first time seeing the National Team play. A dedicated, though slightly deluded, 12 year old fan of the usually abyssmal Tyrellia Blues, Mikey passed through the big gates of Ylompic with a sense of excitement. His dad spent the ride down trying to explain that the stadium would hold over one hundred and twelve thousand people, but for some reason, the number didn't really take hold until they pulled up to the field.

Mikey played with the radio, scratching his ear under the headphones, trying to pick up someone talking about the game as they scrambled through the tunnels, past stands selling beer, team shirts, and those really big soft pretzels, he followed his father out into the stands.

"It's the opening day of the World Cup, today, with Casari finally kicking off their own play today against Sarzonia. Many experts are expecting a close match, but the fans seem to have a different idea. Hill's team will be looking for a quick start to the scoring tonight in order to keep the Sarzonians on their heels."

Mikey finally got to his seat as the floodlights started to turn off. At the sides of the stadium, the video screens began the musical-clip-show.

"Hill's been drilling the team hard on the way up to the start of the cup. The team, however, is surely in the hands of the rookies. For the first time, Casari will be trotting out someone other than Salvidore Rooney and Scott William to be the last man in front of goal, and this time, a woman is taking the spot, the young goalkeeper of two-time IAFL champions Presscot Football Club, Mina Darcosi. In front as well, for the first time, Ari Saienz will not play a game in this World Cup, leaving his Left Forward spot to the still-experienced Jared Livingston, Casari's lone international club player."

The march onto the field was accompanied with loud fanfare and louder singing from the masses of home fans. The team looked quite stellar in the newly-picked replacement to the classic Tiger Kits. The camera panned across the crowd as they gave their own off-key rendition of the national anthem.

"The anthems are done now, and it's time to see if Casari can make good against Sarzonia on the only 9000 square yards of pitch that the team has played a home match on. Scoir lines up on the ball, Livingston next to him on the left, and Elsise extremely wide to the right... behind them, the team lines up in the 3-1-2-1-3 that's lead them this far... There's the whistle, the kickoff and the match is away."

After a temporary flash of camera bulbs as the teams lined up, Mikey watched the team try to probe the Sarzonian defense, looking for the way in on their first attempt.

"Seventeen mintues gone now, the ball 22 yards out from the Sarzonian goal, Scoir looking to pass, and passes to Elsise, who stops the ball, shoots... and bends it past the goalie! One-nil to Casari, on a stellar Elsise goal from the right side of the box, sixteen yards out."

The chants started then, and didn't stop for the rest of the night. By the 78th minute, with Casari holding a 3-1 lead, suddenly the self-aggrandizing cheers were replaced by one that started at the top of the North Stands and reverberated through the crowd.

"It seems the fans are already confident of victory, changing their tone... can you make out what they're saying, Andy?"

"Hmmmm, I can't be sure, but I think it's 'We'll see you all next Sunday night.'"

"Well, surely the team is as confident as the fans at this point."

Mikey was, like any 12 year old wannabe hooligan in the stands, hoarse by this time, but he didn't care. The final goal was the last nail in the coffin, a halfhearted effort by Scoir that managed to trundle it's way in the goal.

"A thrilling match for the home side today, with a final score of 4-1, Casari over Sarzonia. Goals for Casari, Number 11 Elsise in the 14th and 56th, Number 7 Awisan in the 36th, Number 9 Scoir in the 84th. Goals for Sarzonia, Number 20 Jacobsen in the 41st. It's been a fantastic night for the Casarans, with one win left in two matches to put them through. For Andy Ronalo, I'm Eddie Brisari, and we thank you for joining us on 92.7 CasariOne Radio tonight."

Mikey was a rather satisfied 12 year old when his dad finally got him outside. His first international match was a 4-1 win, it didn't rain, and he had a new #9 jersey which was destined to get a tad smelly in the days to come.

Quakmybush

11-07-2006, 23:59

The Loss Was Expected, But The Team Is Still Dejected

The Quakmybush Sharks played their first ever game in the World Cup proper yesterday. They got their asses handed to them. The world number 85 seed took on Rejistania (the world number 13). Rejistania won 4-0 over the Sharks, who played well, but it was still not enough. The Sharks schedule only gets tougher as they face world number 2 Starblaydia. The team is still very upbeat though.

Rejistania

12-07-2006, 00:18

This was supposed to be after MD14, but TBH, I messed up!

Desnike'tes presents:

We at Desnike'tes offer soda/lemonade in aall differentt sorts of flavor. Now, we present the World Cup edition of our products. Every sort of Desnike'tes lemonade now in the design of one nation, participating in the NSWC:

Krytenia: Cola with extra caffeine
Fmjphoenix: Orange lemonade with caffeine (slightly takilizing*)
Bettia: Woodruff (slightly takilizing*)
Spaam: Acerole
Starblaydia: Peach and Guarana
Rejistania: Lychee (slightly karelizing*)
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega: Dragonfruit
Quakmybush: Mango
New Montreal States: Cranberry
Jeruselem: Lime
Schiavonia: Crazy Fruits
Nedalia: Banana
Hockey Canada: Green Apple
Audioslavia: Strawberry Fields
Dance 2 Revolution: Diet Cola
Kaze Progressa: ZONK! (cherry flavoured)
Squornshelous: Mint and Guarana
Total n Utter Insanity: Old-fashioned Lemon-soda
Ariddia: Aloe Vera
Chicanada: Mirabelle
Liverpool England: Chrysantheme
Spruitland: Green Tea and hemp
The Islands of Qutar: Red Date
Cataduanes: Melon
Bedistan: Coconut
Oliverry: Grapefruit
Commerce Heights: Red Minotaur**
McPsychoville: Grapes
Casari: Raspberry
Tadjikistan: Grass Jelly
Sarzonia: Blue Power
Becquerelia: Kumquat

* only where allowed by the law
** an energy drink, notable of its high percentage of caffeine and the high price

Rejistania

12-07-2006, 02:42

Syku Lyku Scored Thrice!

The Orange-Blues confused the match officials in their match against Quakmybush: Having 2 players called Syku Lyku, both as strikers and eventually substituting one out for the other was something commentators all over the world had to master. While rejistanis from the different stations at least knew the different origins of the players and used Sikane'tes and Desnike'tes, others had to use more difficult ways of telling them apart. Some used terms like "the older" (Desnike'tes)/"the younger" (Sikane'tes) or "number 7" (Sikane'tes) / "number 20" or even assumed both were the same player. Spaam Sports Spotlight commented the substitution in the 78th minute by this: "Coach Frankton of Rejistania is indicating a substitution, the number 7, goalscorer Syku Lyku is substituted... well, this apparently is a mistake since as replacement the same name is listed." and later: "There comes Syku Lyku again, as our stats indicate, there was no substitution." When Syku Lyku Desnike'tes scored as well, it added to the confusion even more.

The match was very unbalanced. Despite having lots of luck in qualification, the Quakmybush team was not up to international standards. Oky, that was also the exact description of the Orange-Blues for large parts of the qualifiers, but the Orange-Blues improved much over the last months since Eric Frankton took over. The Orange-Blues had 63% of possession during the first half and were able to score three times. Lyku'he Sikane'tes was able to score from a a distance when the quakmybush players expected him to pass to Seiru I Hetaki who was in better position. The Quakmybush players had some good moments, not only in the defense but also in the offense. Ben Miller nearly equalized in the 20th minute, but Manatha~e Hihtaka~o cleared. The Quakmybush forwards however most of the time lacked the assistance of the midfield. The Orange-Blues extended their lead in the 26th minute via a free kick. Bob Hughes could see no other way to stop Syku Lyku (Sikane'tes) than a foul. The following free kick was executed by Seiru I Hetaki and then headed into the goal by Vaka Iuliana. Syku Lyku Sikane'tes used another standard situation to extend the lead even more: In the 39th minute, Syku Lyku was able to head the ball in after a lot of chaos in front of the Quakmybush goal.

The second half, the Orange-Blues did emphasize on defending the lead while the Quakmybush team got into the game much better. In the 78th minute several things happened: A fan somehow managed to get past the security and jump on the pitch. Apparently he was mentally unstable, but not violent. He was wearing a rejistanian trikot with number 8 (of Xura Kameril) on it. The stadium security took care of this person, who apparently is rejistanian citizen (and incidentally called Lyku Syku). Despite this confusion, the substitution took place and Syku Lyku (Sikane'tes) left the pitch to make room for Syku Lyku (Desnike'tes). The KaMaRian had some good moments but apparently was too nervous for most of the time and made simple mistakes. Once this even led to a dangerous counter of Quakmybush, which eri Kis could only narrowly save. However in the 89th minute, Lyku'he Desnike'tes was able to score in a chaotic situation by a combination of luck and instict. The match ended 4:0, which was justified, however seeing the quakmybush team had some good chances, it would have been possible that the Orange-Blues would have conceded.

The score:
Rejistania 4 (Syku Lyku 13th 39th, Vaka Iuliana 26th, Syku Lyku 89th)
Quakmybush 0

Allanea

12-07-2006, 11:11

Around the Stadium

“All stationed personnel, ready, over?”

“Ready at Station Alpha.”
“Ready at Station Bravo.”
“Ready at Station Charlie.”
“Ready at Station Delta.”

Those who approached the World Cup stadia would see that the security personnel at the event wore a strange uniform – a dark urban camoflage suit, decorated with golden bunny shoulder patches on a pink background. The personnel were outwardly polite and happy-looking, but they carried themselves with the kind of air of professionalism that seems to ooze from quality bodyguards, warning potential malefactors away by their very presence.

At the stadia, polite and good-looking ladies were chosen to carry wonderful – though hardly dietetic – CBBC burgers to anybody who wanted one at a discound – these would be beef burgers, chicken burgers, and of course the trademark CBBC Cute Bunny Burgers. And if you wanted Pink Bunny Cola, well CBBC had a deal with the Knootians and was retailing that, too. Desnike'tes was also available, of course, being the World Cup Sponsor drink.

From the CBBC Status Report

“In the meanwhile, CBBC has been granted it's sponsorship request at the World Cup - making it the first Allanean company to ever sponsor a World Cup. As some of you may or may not know, the company is running a lottery, which every ticket buyer at the world cup may win, with things such as free cars, money, and land in Allanea being up for grabs. There are two separate lotteries, in which three random visitors of the World Cup events will win a million dollars each, and a 160-acre homestead in Allanea to call his own, and 256 random visitors of the World Cup events will receive a free car each.. we at CBBC consider this a good deal. A very good deal."

CUTE BUNNY BURGER – DO THE BUNNY HOP! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=471405)

McPsychoville

12-07-2006, 12:02

"Thrusting, Goals and Ultraviolence - The Abridged History of McPsychoville Sport", by Ian McClaskey
Section 8 - "The World Cup Saga"

So with the advent of a new, super-defensively minded style of play, the chances for the Psychos to deliver more of the same in terms of goals and overall entertainment was low to the point only the most devoted of fans would actually watch the qualifying games. True, they did go undefeated in the qualifiers, but single goal wins do not a happy fanbase make.

They may have finished with a slight stumble - having to scramble a last-minute goal against Krajkovia to secure a 1-1 draw - but tying Starblaydia for the Golden Net award (given to the team or teams who concede the least goals in qualifying) seemed to prove that the Karelan experiment was working. Triela's Tristan Kancer battered home his bid to keep the #11 shirt as he flourished in his lone striker role, scoring nine of the thirteen Psycho goals, but the question as they advanced into the group stages proper was whether the team would be good enough to do anything else.

The drawing for the group stages proved less than hopeful; despite holding the 29th spot in the world at the end of qualifying, the Psychos found themselves back in the role of underdogs going up against Commerce Heights, Oliverry and Bedistan, the world's #1 team at this time. You could very nearly hear the cursing across the nation when the group was drawn. So, when the Psychos came out and beat Oliverry two-nil, it was quite a shock.

Naturally, it was the lanky Kancer who did the damage against the higher-ranked side. After a long drought in the domestic season, his excellent performances in the World Cup qualifiers - no doubt coupled by his adoption of certain unorthodox goal celebrations, among these "the Ninja", "the Mosher" and "Samoa Joe" - have made him a cult favourite, and two headed goals on the Oliverrians only helped his standing further.

Bettia

12-07-2006, 12:56

7:40 pm, and things were getting rather tense in the Blessed Realm. After a rather spectacular opening ceremony, the Aroras had taken to the field to contest the opening match against the hosts (the second World Cup in a row where this has happened, no less). The first hour or so had more or less gone to form, with Krytenia making the most of their home advantage and cruising into a two-goal lead thanks to a Jaffacake-Phillips brace.

After such a lacklustre start, that second goal was just the kick up the arse Bettia needed. With 15 minutes to go, young sensation Gwrlais Devanallt had pulled one back with a well-taken shot, albeit via a fortunate deflection off Tony Aspell's nose. Now the Aroras were back in the hunt, and billions of keen fans all over Bettia were crowded round whatever screen they could find, willing their lads on with all their collective might.

Our usual destination, the Pie and Pixie sports café nestled somewhere on Pifton High Street, was a similiarly tense scene, with the locals huddled in front of the establishment's new, ever bigger big screen. The P&P's old regulars Ali and George were sat at their usual table, nervously chewing on their choccy biccies as they took in the events unfolding in front of them, listening intently to the commentators

"Less than five minutes to go now, and Bettia are trying everything to get this equaliser, they're literally throwing everything at their hosts here... well this is a bold move... it appears Abdul-Rahim is taking off Tyrno'r and Harris, and replacing them with Rhydderch and Al-Jahani. Yes, you heard me right, Bettia are now playing with 5 out-and-out forwards and Jon McKinnon as a lone defender..."

Our two old-timers stare at the screen, wide eyed, not quite believing what they're seeing.

"George... am I imagining things, or are we playing a 1-4-5 formation?"

"If you're imagining it, then I am too."

"Blimey, I hope this works. Let's face it, it's so Takilan, it would make any Rejistanians watching this puke!"

"...it's so Takilan, it would make any Rejistanians watching this puke!"

"Oi!" Ali stands up and yells at the screen in the mistaken belief that the commentator could actually hear him. "That's my line you cheating bastard!"

"Sit down Ali, you're in the way!"

Ali does as he says, and sheepishly sits back down to take in the action. All at once, the Aces threaten to take advantage as Jaffacake-Phillips comes close to netting his hat-trick - thankfully DiTorino was equal to the task and gathers the ball well before launching it down the right wing to find Jamie Kingsholm racing down the flank. Around Starkov he goes, then Aspell before cutting in on the byeline. He looks up, and sidefoots the ball across the face of the goal.

Time seems to go in slow-motion as it evades the outstretched foot of Andy Snelders, passing Nourisse who can only watch in horror as Chris Hutton, goal-poacher extraordinaire sprints into the goal area.

Everybody in the café is on their feet now. A excited whisper rises up out of the silence. "Go on Chris, get it. Get it lad!"

Hutton's doing his best to oblige, but the close attentions of his markers is making it difficult. However, with one last-ditch effort he stretches out his right leg. Before we know it, the ball has somehow caught his toe and is nestling quite happily in the back of the net. The pockets of green and gold populating the Isserson Stadium erupt into delerium as Bettia's do-or-die effort comes good.

He's done it! Yes, he's only gone and bloody done it! A collective roar emanates from the Pie and Pixie's loyal customers, shaking the windows and scaring the pidgeons outside. That's the cue for thousands to pour onto the streets, celebrating into the night.

This was certainly no match for those of a nervous disposition, and a massive psychological test lies ahead in the shape of Fmjphoenix. Those two 6-1 drubbings still lie fresh in the memories of Bettia's faithful supporters... can the Aroras exorcise those ghosts of the past?

Fixtures & Results

Group A

MD01: Krytenia 2-2 BETTIA (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD02: Fmjphoenix vs. BETTIA (Denbigh Park, Ousevale)
MD03: BETTIA vs. Spaam (The Mound, Secklow)

Qualifying Group 3

MD01: BETTIA 2-0 Spindomia (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)
MD02: Starblaydia 2-0 BETTIA (Sports Hall, Karak D'Ragh)
MD03: BETTIA 5-1 Sexy Games (Al-Fath Stadium, Sukatra)
MD04: BETTIA 1-1 Legalese (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)
MD05: Harlesburg 2-3 BETTIA
MD06: Virginia Nova 1-1 BETTIA
MD07: AwalKB 0-2 BETTIA
MD08: Spindomia 3-5 BETTIA
MD09: BETTIA 0-4 Starblaydia (Alice Street, Butetown)
MD10: Sexy Games 1-1 BETTIA
MD11: Legalese 1-1 BETTIA
MD12: BETTIA 2-1 Harlesburg (Stamping Ground, Lorshill)
MD13: BETTIA 2-0 Virginia Nova (Al-Fath Stadium, Sukatra)
MD14: BETTIA 3-0 AwalKB (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)

Krytenia

12-07-2006, 13:05

thsd:NEWS

Seven-Second Itch
by Rami Niblick in Everton City

Bettia versus Krytenia was never going to be a goalless draw, but even those expecting goals must have been surprised at the speed a which the deadlock was broken. The Aroras took just seven seconds to score; however, it was frustration at the end for Bettia, as the game ended honours even, two apiece.

Krytenia kicked off, passing the ball backwards; however a pass meant for Andy Snelders was weak, and the onrushing Chris Hutton raced onto it, past Snelders, and beat a helpless Nourisse with a cracking shot. The goal, almost certainly the fastest in Finals history, immediately silenced the greater part of the 112,583 near-full house at the Isserson.

One thing, though, that has defined Krytenian football over the years is their refusal to put their heads down once behind. The Aces regrouped, and on thirty-one minutes were unlucky not to pull level when a Jaffacake-Phillips missile was tipped wide by Ricardo DiTorino; however, the Bettian keeper was in some discomfort after landing, and had to be replaced by Safwan Sulaiman. DiTorino's injury is believed to be only minor though, and he should be back for the game against the Phoenicians. From the resulting corner, Andy Snelders leapt high, crashing a header against the bar, but somehow Bettia survived and went into the break with their one-nil lead intact.

It was Krytenia, however, who came out the most fired up for the second half. Josh Quinnell lashed a long shot wide; meanwhile, the back four were doing a sterling job of snuffing out the Bettian marauders. One long Aspel clearance found Wood-Collins, he was fouled thirty yards out, and from the resulting free-kick, Tejai's shot was parried onto the post by Sulaiman. The ball, however, fell to Marlon Friday, who crashed home the equaliser.

From one-one, it took only four minutes for Krytenia to make it two-one, as Friday sprayes out to Tom Cooper, who whipped in a fine ball for Quinnell to volley home. Krytenia looked to be home and dry, but it was not to be. Latif Hunter, the man who plays his club football in Krytenia, was fouled in the box by James Iagas; he converted the penalty himself, and the scores finished at two-all.

With FMJPhoenix defeating Spaam 3-1 in the other group games, it means that the Aces' next game against the men in orange will be a vital one for Krytenia's hopes of advancement.

KRYTENIA - 2
Friday 56
Quinnell 60

BETTIA - 2
Hutton 1
Hunter 77 (pen)

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Er Rami, what game were you watching?"

"I'm gonna be honest with you Mike, I was in the bar drinking."

"That would explain how random this report is. You even got the scorers wrong!"

"Don;t forget, Mile, I own 49% of this paper now. You can't fire me!"

"True, but I can throw this report away!"

Mike picks up the phone and dials.

"Hello, Bill? Did you watch last night's game?...You did? Great, write me up a 500-word report, ASAP."

Nedalia

12-07-2006, 13:32

The Nedalia Lions

Paladins Face Lions on Matchday Two

They get drunk, the chase women, and they recently had someone from The Archregimancy come and lecture them about the wrongs and rights of the world. If it wasnt for their goalkeeper Paul Chasson, who picked up 11 saves against Schiavonia, New Montreal States wouldve found themselves placed last in Group C. As it would have it, midfielder Hugh Faulkner scored the only goal of the match, pushing his team past Schiavonia and collecting 3, probably undeserved, points.

This side is also one of the most dangerous sides in the entire tournament, no questions asked. They might be alchoholics, and they might not be able to control their inhibitions, but they're damned good footballers and have proven that on many occasions. No one knows which side of this squad will face the Nedalia Lions on Matchday Two.

Reeling after a 3-1 loss to friends Jeruselem, the Lions cannot settle for anything less than a victory if they have the 2nd round in mind. Their current record at the World Cup finals stand at 0-0-7; although theyve mostly always managed to play their opponents well, they havent managed to achieve that elusive victory yet.

With the stars of the Lions in the twilight of their careers, they will be looking to make an impression on the world. Nene scored a spectacular goal against Jeruselem in an impressive 2nd half performance by the Lions, when they more than matched their friends in terms of ball possessions and attacks on the ball. Two goals were conceded in the 1st half after a jittery start by the Lions, and they cannot afford to go down in the 1st half again.

New Montreal States might be higher ranked than Jeruselem, but it was our friends who played a better game on MD1. That is not to say, however, that NMS won't find their footing and put themselves in a position to convincingly demolish our Lions, but Nedalia must be confident enough to think they can come away with a victory. As stated above, anything less than that, and its another 1st round exit.

Schiavonia

12-07-2006, 16:17

"You're listening to Schia FM, and we've come to Krytenia for another edition of World Cup Sloths! I'm Mike Jones..."

"...and I'm Filipo Schiavone, and we're at the impressive New City Stadium in Avida for Schiavonia's game against a much-fancied New Montreal States. Forst up, though, we must comment on our journey over to Krytenia from Schiavonia. Instead of taking a boat like Schiavones usually would, the team, officials and ourselves, the media, all travelled over on flying biles, courtesy of the Elrichian Flying Bike Company. Or, at least, we tried to. What actually happened was that we managed to get to Rejistania before the balloons on the bikes got deflated and we dropped out of the sky. Considering that the Rejis isn't that far from Schiavonia on the international scale, it really wasn't enough to get us to the finals. In the end, we had to catch a flight to the finals with a whole load of fans of the Junis-Omeh. We got some funny looks on that flight, that's for sure."

"Filipo, I'm sure the listeners at home were enthralled by that story, but if you had decided to actually change your clothes after we crashed instead of walking around KaMaRi kali Airport looking like some kind of castaway, I'm sure you wouldn't have drawn so mucha ttention to yourself!"

"OK, well, anyway Mike, do you have the teams as usual?"

"Silly question, of course I do. The Sloths are lining up in a nice shapely 4-3-3, with Jack Holmes in goal, O'Faherty, Park, Marsden and Williams across the defence, Berry, Sanderson and McGee are your midfield three, while up front are Tarmey, Edwards and Seamus Bradley, who Rodney Lowe obviously considers ready enough to take over from Paolo Di Mascherenasi."

"Well, all I'll say is that it'll be a lot easier for the media to write the Schiavone scorers down. Now, New Montreal States..."

"They play in an attacking variant of the classic Druidan hisisim formation. Paul Chasson is their goalkeeper, just two at the back in Yannic Laurier and Mitch Broughton, although they will be ably assisted by some of the midfield sextet. Charles Pilon, Fabrice Labranche, Peter Hunyadi, Mark Tessier, Jacques Toussaint and Hugh Faulkner make up that middle line. Finally, Gilles Villeneuve and Hubert Labranche, older brother of midfielder Fabrice, will be going for goals tonight."

"Hmm. Their defence could be there for the taking if we catch them three on two often enough."

"They will have to get past Chasson, though, Filipo. That's no mean task, you know."

"Well, I never faced him myself when I was playing, but he does have a reputation of probably being the star of the team, even ahead of Villeneuve."

"Indeed, well the players are lining up for the national anthems, the atmosphere here is as fantastic as you'd expect it to be for an opening group game of the World Cup, and when you here the few thousand Schiavones singing Viva Schiavonia in a few moments time, you'll know that we are back in the big time!"

- - - - -

Half time

"And there goes the half time whistle, and what in intriguing battle it has been so far. Goalless so far, but not for the want of trying of both sides."

"Indeed not. NMS have been virtually camped in the Schiavone half, while the Sloths having ten men back, leaving Tarmey or Bradley up, then using Edwards amazing pace to break out and create something. And with a defence as weak as any top six side I've ever seen, they've created plenty, only to see it all kept out by an inspired Paul Chasson."

"Not the forwards' fault, then?"

"As a former goalscorer myself, of course I'm not going to blame them. When you come up against a keeper like this, sometimes you get the feeling that you're never going to score."

"Indeed. But you have to say that the NMS strikers have been woeful, too."

"I'd be embarrased if that was me out there. And, to be perfectly honest, that was how I played a lot of the time."

"Well, there's one point we both agree on. We'll be back after the news with our Schiavonia World Cup Competition."

"Shall I go and get a half time drink for us, then?"

"Actually, no need to. Schiavonia have an official World Cup Soda drink, courtesy of World Cup 29's official soft drink supplier, Rejistanian company Desnike'tes. Schiavonia's flavour is caller Crazy Fruits, it comes in a nice orange and dark red bottle, and I've got a bottle of it here."

"Crazy Fruits? So what, they find some kind of psychotic lemon and put it in there, do they?"

"Who knows. What I do know it that this is our half-time drink. Fancy a cup?"

"OK... hmm, smells nice... wait, what's all those bubbles?"

"Apparently, it is a soda drink, and these things have bubbles in them. It's just the way they are."

"But drinks aren't supposed to have bubbles in them. Bathtubs are, drinks... that's just silly."

"Well, have a try."

*We hear Filipo have a little slurp before we hear him spitting it all over the place.*

"Well, it tastes OK, but those bubbles are just wrong! Don't they make a still version?"

"Afraid not. This is how it comes. Did you have to spit it out like that, though."

"It was just wrong though."

"It might well have been 'just wrong', but that's no reason to spray the five rows in front of us in sticky orange mess."

"OK. Sorry everyone."

"Lie low, Filipo. Lie low. They'll never know what it was..."

- - - - -

Full time

"Well, it's been a hard fought battle out there, but the NMS persistance eventually showed, Faulkner's goal proving to be the difference in the end, but two goalkeepers who have definately earned their money tonight."

"Definately. Chasson has put on a one man show at one end, while Holmes has been keeping his defence motivated and concentrating while having a great command of the penalty area. It's just a shame that they both couldn't be on the winning side."

"Indeed, and so it is on to face Jerusalem in the next game, surely they must fancy their chancese of running away with this group after their performance against Nedalia earlier?"

"You'd think so, but Schiavonia weren't playing their usual attacking game today, and it showed that they are actually a team who can adapt to the situation in hand. As odd as it seems, but I'm more confident after losing this game that we can make it to failing on goal difference than I was before!"

"Well, that's confidence for you. More after the highlights reel..."

Krytenia

12-07-2006, 21:03

This is your MD2 cutoff.

At least, it is if you're in groups E, F, G, or H.

Hockey Canada

12-07-2006, 21:28

To think they doubted us...

Hockey Canada was hardly expected to make a whimper in World Cup 29, but after a sub-par qualifying campaign and good group draw, the Canucks have all but proven critics wrong in their path to their first World Cup. Hockey Canada dominated the game from start to finish leaving no mercy for the revolutionary dancers. Krytenia seems to be looking kindly on the Communist Canucks from (Hockey) Canada.

Hockey Canada opened the scoring 43 seconds into the match when Rahul Kulkarni picked up a long ball from half and easily beat the Dance 2 Revolution defender and put the ball under the bar from just outside the 18 yard box to get Hockey Canada on the board. Kulkarni doubled Hockey Canada's tally with another goal of similar fashion 7 minutes later. Things were looking grim for Dance 2 Revolution early on.

Dance 2 Revolution did get one chance late in the 1st half though, when Xinza Uto did the unthinkable and ran past the Canuck defence on a clear breakaway when a ball was kicked in from a Canuck offside. Uto broke in on Thomas but seemed to run into a wall when Thomas challenged, recovered the ball and slammed into Uto with ease. The dirty D2R player went down instantly and never got back on his feet, he was removed immediately from the game.

Kansu ended the game with a casual goal in the 76th minute after a breakaway chip over the Dance 2 Revolution keeper sending D2R fans biting their nails and Canuck fans into ecstacy as they gained 3 points alongside that number in goal differential. The Canucks will now play Kaze Progressa today in a game where Hockey Canada hopes to secure qualification in the next round.

Group D GP W T L PTS GD GF GA
Hockey Canada 1 1 0 0 3 3 3 0
Audioslavia 1 1 0 0 3 1 3 2
Kaze Progressa 1 0 0 1 0 -1 2 3
Dance 2 Revolution 1 0 0 1 0 -3 0 3

Sarzonia

12-07-2006, 21:43

After a long night in front of a large crowd that was cheering against them, the Sarzonian national team that trudged off the pitch following a 4-1 shellacking at the hands of Casari knew they'd be behind the eight ball against the other highly-ranked side in their group, Tadjikistan. A loss to the Tigers here and the Stars could begin to pack their bags, even though they'd only have one match left.

With the team looking especially disheartened, it wasn't Coach Mark Wingate who spoke up. It wasn't any of the players. Recalling his playing days as the brightest of all the Stars, assistant coach Brian Wilson stood up in the centre of the locker room.

"Look at you guys," he snapped. "Looking like lost puppies. Stop looking so pathetic!" When that failed to draw attention, he kicked over a table with orange slices on it, drawing the ire of several of the players.

"You lose your fucking orange slices and you get pissed," Wilson said. "You get fucking embarrassed out there against Casari and where's the outrage?"

"Uh coach," one player piped up. "They're the eighth ranked team in the world and we played an away match."

"So was Rejistania when we faced them in World Cup qualifying," Wilson retorted. "And we let that game get away from us, but we fought our arses off then. Where was that fight this time? All I know is we've got to fight a hell of a lot harder against Tadjikistan or we might as well pack it up and get the fuck home. Otherwise, I'm going to be planting my size 36s in someone's arse. Got it?"

Two days later, the Stars certainly seemed to get it, to the tune of a 2-1 victory over Tadjikistan that continued the Stars unlikely dominance over the Tigers. Yes, it's only been three matches, but the Tadjik media certainly have played up the 0-0-3 record against Sarzonia. At least more than Sarzonians have been.

"That was simply us playing for our lives out there," goalkeeper Frank Talbot said. "We're down in goal difference right now, but we've at least got three points to show for it and we've still got a chance to go through to the next round."

To wit, Sarzonia are now sitting in second in the group with three points behind hosts Casari, who are already through. The matchup between the two top teams in the group can only have meaning now for Tadjikistan, who must win to have any chance of advancing to the knockout round. For Sarzonia, it's more basic: Win and they advance, draw or lose and they go home.

"We don't care about rankings right now. The fact is, we're in a must-win right now," Wingate said. "Right now, we've got to hope we can bottle up the effort we put in against the Tigers and hope we can improve on it vs. Becquerelia."

Casari

12-07-2006, 23:12

A little after the first, this would be the cutoff if you're blessed with the chance to play in Krytenia.

McPsychoville

12-07-2006, 23:24

"Thrusting, Goals and Ultraviolence - The Abridged History of McPsychoville Sport", by Ian McClaskey
Section 8 - "The World Cup Saga"

Bedistan were firmly settled into their spot at the top of the mountain by this time, and they were fully expected to run away with the group - top, three wins, nine points and so on, so forth. However, it's fair to say that they didn't expect the Psychos to put up quite as much of a fight as they did; having already upset Oliverry, they went out knowing perfectly well all the pressure was on Bedistan to deliver.

The Lions were stung into action as early as the third minute, as despite Monty Salas' valiant attempt to make contact with the ball from a corner, the Psychos went on a typical counter-attack. The mistake was Jerry Crowley's, as he was caught napping by Craig McCammond, flourishing in his first World Cup; for Crowley, it was lucky Gabriel Price's shot hit the bar. But in spite of Leonard Hollins making use of a gap in the usually-tight Psycho defence to score, the Lions still didn't look comfortable.

Once again, it was Tristan Kancer who punished them, albeit indirectly. His height made him an appealing target for crosses, but the three-man Lion defence were drawn to him and, as such, ignored the slight Daniel Sabin. It was a costly mistake; the ball bounced loose, and Sabin was allowed to run up and strike it beautifully into the lower left corner of the net.

Minutes later, it was two. A rare mistake from Vailatai Issah - punching at the ball rather than catching it - opened the door for Kancer to nod home his twelfth goal of the tournament so far. With a lead on the world's best team, the Psycho fans who'd made the arduous trek to Casari were ecstatic; a young couple even going as far as to jump over the rail and celebrate with Kancer and his team-mates. They got one hug before being dragged away by security.

However, with them seemed to go the Psychos' fighting spirit. In first-half injury time, a routine free-kick defence went badly wrong when both Aaron Downie and Brad Hutchinson thought they were marking Felicity Wilson and in doing so, left Tanner Diamond completely open to stroke home the low set-piece. The fans fell silent as the Bedistanis exploded, and after such a performance from the Psychos, Salas ensuring they wouldn't get anything from the day with his goal late in the second half was just cruel.

Quakmybush

13-07-2006, 03:44

Quakmybush Eliminated From Advancing

The Quakmybush Sharks had their dreams crushed today. The team lost 3-0 to World #2 ranked Strablaydia. The team played very well. The teams played a very even first half with the possession 55-45 to Starblaydia. In the 60th minute Paul Noble let an absolute cannon go from the top of the box and it went in the top corner. All the players on the field were amazed. That is when it started to unravel for the Sharks. In the 67th minute Greg Hughes headbutted Durum Rage, and recieved a Red Card. On the insueing free kick, Herge Costa, but a beautiful bend on the ball and put it in. Now down to ten players Quakmybush started to tire. IN the 89th minute Johan Keifer headed in a cross from Jaqueline Maitland to make it 3-0 Starblaydia. In the 92nd minute Marrisa Cortez made a hard tackle on Jorge Valez, and things started to get out of hand. The football crazy Krytenian fans started to throw bottles on to the field. One bottle hit Starblaydian manager Khim Azanulbizarn right in the head. The Starblaydian players got a chuckle out of that. The game finally finished 15 minutes after the mini riot began. It was a painful loss for Quakmybush as they are now out of the running to advance to the knockout stage. The team will try to not look like total fools by trying to salvage at least one point against Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, who they play next, and who are also out of the running to advance into the knockout stage. Due to his actions Greg Hughes will be suspended from the next game. For this Quakmybush will switch their formation to a 3-2-5.

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

13-07-2006, 05:06

Sea Dragons Look Pitiful As Rejis Cruises

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from Krytennia

As expected, the Sea Dragons have been eliminated from World Cup 29 after only two matches have been played. Of course the first was against Starblaydia and there was little chance for ASMV to beat them at all. A 3-1 Starblaydi win was the result.

The second match was one that most predictions gave us at least a chance to win. Rejistania is a squad we have been competitive with before. But that was not to be the case today as Rejis was seemingly out for blood and walked away with an easy 4-1 win over the Sea Dragons. We clearly weren’t on top of our game today. But 4-1 is the worst defeat that we have suffered in quite a long time. How in the world a defensive minded squad could put up 4 goals on another talented defensive minded squad is still beyond me.

All that remains is a seemingly pointless match against newcomer Quakmybush. You can bet that the Sea Dragons do not want to end this run with a draw to Cinderella or no points at all. The defense will be fired up and punish the Quakmybush attack for daring to enter their area of control

Friends Watch:

Ariddia pulled the upset today by defeating TnUI 4-3. That means if they can draw or beat Chicanada they are in.

Tadjikistan lost to Sarzonia 1-2 and is in danger of missing the next round as well.

Chicanada

13-07-2006, 06:33

Chicanada Daily Rabbler
Where Proper Analysis Goes To Die

Oi
Stars Blow Victory, Shoots Self In Foot Before Aridda

Eastentown - At least we got a point. Yeah. Again.

The Orange Stars looked impressive in the first half, racing to a 3-2 lead thanks to Michael Klobee's hattrick in the 7th, 23rd and 40th minutes.

And then, the keeping team sort of went on vacation or something.

Shoddy goalkeeping, which has been a benchmarch of the Kodiaks, came back to bite the Oranges in the hindquarters as Squornshelous scored twice early in the half and were able to hold off the Collapsed Diamond just long enough to beat the national side 4-3.

At least we tied TnUI, right?

Anyways, the loss was the first for Malli's side in the entire World Cup 29 campaign and, if we go back to 28, includes a couple games from that qualifying run. A 15-game-no loss streak for the underacheivers is indeed a great streak and Yerevan was apprecative of the team as a whole. Although he clearly was ticked at the poor defensive play of the second half and the poor play by starting keeper Alexander Nespin. Many expect him to sit out the final Group match for Niome Washington. She stood her ground well in the wins over Kaze, Archregimancy and Iaukea, allowing one goal and scoring three wins. She also got the tie against Third England while Nespin recovered from a sprained ankle.

Leading Scorers:
3 - Michael Klobee
2 - Niam Washington

Official Chicanada Schedule
MD01- W 3-2 Tessan (Starburst Park, Spears Crossings)
MD02- W 4-2 Third England
MD03- T 0-0 The Archregimancy (New Governess Palace, Kinsington)
MD04- W 4-2 Milchama
MD05- W 3-2 Iaukea (Sacred Heart Terrace, Bishop)
MD06- T 1-1 Kaze Progressa
MD07- W 2-1 East Lithuania
MD08- W 2-1 Tessan
MD09- T 2-2 Third England (Mountainside Fairgrounds, Castille)
MD10- W 2-1 The Archregimancy
MD11- W 3-0 Milchama (TroutCo Field, Cana)
MD12- W 3-0 Iaukea
MD13- W 2-0 Kaze Progressa (Southampton National Square)
MD14- W 3-0 East Lithuania (Cananite Pavillion, Paradiso)
GS01- T 2-2 Total n Utter Insanity (Winton, Casari)
GS02- L 4-3 Squornshelous (Tyrellia, Casari)
GS03- v Aridda (Ashford, Casari)

In other news, the Aridda game got more complicated thanks to their surprising 4-3 victory over TnUI. They stay tied with Squornshelous for advancement at 4 points. Chicanada, with a single point, sorta kinda has to win 2-0 in order to leap at least Aridda and make their first ever Knockout appearance. With both the Stars and TnUI sitting at 1 point and -1 on the GD (Aridda and Squorn sit at 4 points and +1 GD) a couple of victories from the bottom sides in the group could flip the results and send the Stars on.

In less intriguing news, Arrida, Sarzonia and McPsychoville are poised to sneak past three high seeds to the finals. Considering Sarzonia is, well, Sarzonia, that's only 2 out of 16 teams not expected to make the Knockouts based on seed. What does this mean? Well, McP barely holds their slot thanks to their loss and Oliverry's win. Also? The Rabbler is almost fully right in saying only the High Seeds would make the Knockouts. Which then removes all the suspense and intrigue of upsets. Thereby making all people happy, right?

For the Chicanada - Aridda game, we're gonna be positive and think maybe the side can get the 2-0 victory. But knowing us and our predictions, a 2-1 win will occur, giving the Stars their first ever win in Group Stage AND knock us out. Huzzah!

*OOC fingers crossed for advancement, but we doubt it*

Jeruselem

13-07-2006, 08:29

Jeruselem Government News

NOT AGAIN! Group C = Group of Cuffering

Trust to Jeruselem to leave things to last once again. 2nd group game against Schiavonia was important as a draw or win would have ensure a spot in the next round. Schiavonia lost to the Paladins 0-1 last game which is a decent result really. Schiavonia needed a win as two teams in Group C already had wins. You guessed it, we had to go loose this game. Schiavonia won 2-1 keep their chances of making the next round alive and well. Admittedly, Schiavonia were the better team on the day bursting out with an aggressive start scoring the first two goals in the 1st half and then weathering a Jeruselem comeback conceding only one goal. The team were kind of flat on the day with Schiavonia starting much better with more energy and vigour, making all the attacks. Jeruselem did pay with conceding 2 goals despite the efforts of the keeper who should have been far less busy.

New Montreal States ran into the NEW LIONS. OK, not the uber-super Bedistan lions but the Nedalia Lions. The Lions beat the Paladins 2-0 in a shock which will hit the World Cup for a moment. The team we saw on the pitch for Nedalian lions is one we want to see in the 2nd round. This is Nedalia's first ever win for a group game, after losing 7 in a row. Jeruselem had the same problem for while, not being able to win any group games either. Yes, it's history for our friends Nedalia and maybe they can beat Schiavonia too. Saying that Schiavonia beat us, so Schiavonia are not easy opponents at all.

We don't think the cardboard cut-outs of Rachel Kool used by the Lions fans did the trick, maybe they distracted the Paladin players off their game. Jeruselem don't sell these anyway and we don't know who makes them either. They are not an official JGN product.

All teams in Group C are on 3 points (1 win, 1 loss) and well all can make the next round. On the bottom is the Paladins but this is because of goal difference. It does look good with the Lions and Crusaders in 1st and 2nd spot. If both teams manage draws or wins, both teams will make the next round. For Schiavonia and New Montreal States, wins are the go. A draw for them is useful but they might lose out on goal difference.

You want excitement and drama? Watch the last two Group C games on JGN as no team here has booked their spot. The basics - anyone who wins makes it, two draws means Jeruselem and Nedalia make it. Goal difference will decide any teams on the same points if one teams wins.

Desired results - Jeruselem and Nedalia win. If Nedalia win again, then Jeruselem can get away with a draw against the Paladins. If Jeruselem win again, then Nedalia can get away with a draw against the Schiavonians.

Oh, Hockey Canada made the 2nd round after their second win along with Audioslavia. But then that was expected.

Don't forget to tune into the Nedalian and Jeruselem games LIVE. JGN doesn't believe in this crappy "delayed video" business pretending to be live - when we say live, it's live. We do replays but we advertise them as replays.

Group C
New Montreal States 0:2 Nedalia
Jeruselem 1:2 Schiavonia

Group D
Hockey Canada 4:2 Kaze Progressa

Group C GP W T L PTS GD GF GA
Jeruselem 2 1 0 1 3 1 4 3
Nedalia 2 1 0 1 3 0 3 3
Schiavonia 2 1 0 1 3 0 2 2
New Montreal States 2 1 0 1 3 -1 1 2

Ariddia

13-07-2006, 14:10

Ariddia plays neighbour for first time in ages

It had been over a century since Ariddia had met fellow Uhuhland nation Total n Utter Insanity on the playing field, and the encounter had a slightly special feel to it. It was, more importantly, a difficult challenge for the Rouge-et-Noirs, as TnUI is ranked higher and was expected to win.

Melenciuc again lined up his usual starting eleven, including Senaya. He had told the country that the Rouge-et-Noirs could win, and many were hoping to see a lot of goals. . . if possible by Ariddia.

They were not disappointed.

Keen to gain an early advantage, Ariddia attacked from the word go, and Senaya’s shot above the bar in the third minute had supporters excitedly on their feet. Ramirez opened the score seven minutes later, her face lighting up with joy as her team mates lifted her up to face the cheering crowd. The pace fell slightly for a while after that, TnUI’s goalkeeper made several good saves, and the Insanicans equalised in the thirty-eighth minute. As the match went into its second half, the Rouge-et-Noirs had lost their original advantage, and their opponents were looking increasingly dangerous. Predictions swung back in TnUI’s favour.

John Sanjeeb set that right by scoring in the fifty-fourth, followed by Ramirez again on a corner kick by Wol Eosh in the sixty-ninth. With a 3-1 lead and just over twenty minutes to go, Ariddian fans began to believe in their chances.

TnUI were not going to give in that easily, of course, and in the eightieth minute reminded their opponents why they’re ranked among the best in the world, narrowing the gap: 3-2. Faraj responded almost immediately with a goal for Ariddia two minutes later, but supporters’ cheers faded as the flag was (quite correctly) lifted to indicate an offside. Undeterred, Faraj scored again in the eighty-fifth minute. 4-2.

By now the Ariddians in the stadium were going wild. Surely nothing could deny them victory now?

The match was not entirely over, however, and TnUI narrowed the lead yet again following a corner kick in the ninety-first minute. In the ninety-fourth and final minute, the Insanicans made one last attempt to pull off a draw, barrelling down towards Leduc’s goal cage, but a clean tackle by Tim Wald put an end to that threat, and as Chantier cleared to ball back to the Insanican side the whistle was blown. Ariddian players and supporters alike were free to express their joy and celebrate.

“We’ve got four points, out of two teams ranked higher than us, which is very good,” Melenciuc summed up. “But we’re not in the next round yet. We still have to face Chicanada, and it’ll be a very close match. The Chicanadans know they have to win it, and our two countries have almost the same rank. I’m very confident in our players, but we won’t be making the mistake of underestimating our opponents.”

For now, Ariddia and Squornshelous top Group E together with four points each, having both scored seven goals and conceded six. Chicanada will have to knock Ariddia out of the way to qualify, and TnUI faces the unenviable task of having to defeat Squornshelous.

Elsewhere, Casari, Fmjphoenix, Rejistania, Starblaydia, Hockey Canada and Audioslavia have all qualified after their second match. Andossa Se Mitrin Vega and Quakmybush, alas, are both eliminated, after having put up a valiant struggle against seemingly unstoppable opponents. Jeruselem went down 1-2 against Schiavonia, but remains at the top of Group C on goal differential.

Nedalia

13-07-2006, 15:01

“…He hasn’t had the greatest of campaigns during the qualifying stages, featuring as the 4th striker, but he’s a fantastic talent Lumiere. He’s got the ball now, holding it up just past the center line…Plays it back to Trent Hardman …. Constatine … Plays it back to Hans Lamm. We have 10 minutes of full-time action left in what has been a good game, albeit void of goals. Nedalia has pressed well this 2nd half, but they just haven’t been able to break through the barrier that New Montreal States has set up … Its actually been a really good game for the Lions. They’ve showed just how dangerous they can be with the ball. I honestly don’t think there is a quicker team in the world today, and when they can combine that with a controlled attack, they can be absolutely ruthless … Good tackle by Grad Corona, playing it to Nene on the left … What a player Nene is. He has been absolutely crucial this game. It seems all the attacks run through him … Nene still on the ball … Oh! Great cut through 2 defenders to the middle … Its getting dangerous for NMS, Nene is approaching the goal … He runs past 2 defenders!! Its Nene and the goal now!! He takes a shot …. OH NO! Off of Chasson’s leg! … The ball is picked up by Lumiere just outside the goalkeeper’s box … He cracks one, it looks good …. ITS IN!!! ITS IN!!!! LUMIERE HAS CRACKED ONE IN!! NINE MINUTES TO GO, AND THE LIONS HAVE THE LEAD!! THE STADIUM IS VIBRATING!!”

“…They’ve continued pressing despite their goal, and NMS has seemed powerless to stop them … If the Lions can pull off the victory here, this will be the finest in their history … What a wonderful strike by Lumiere, it was … Its Nene on the ball again now … He’s been so dangerous down that left flank … He looks like he’s setting up a cross here … He’s faked it and dribbled past the defender! Surely a shot here!! No, he comes back and played it to the running Lumiere!! One touch annndddd …. ITS IN!! WHAT AN UNBELIEVABLE FEAT! ITS 2-0 FOR THE LIONS!! THEY’VE DONE IT!! IN THE 87th MINUTE, LUMIERE HAS JUST SEALED THE MATCH FOR THE LIONS!! THE LIONS FINALLY HAVE THEIR FIRST VICTORY!!”

<Cut to Studio>

Those were the highlights from last night’s match against New Montreal States, where Nedalia emerged 2-0 victors over a team that was fancied to be one of the top squads in the tournament this year. After a good display against Jeruselem in the 2nd half, the Lions carried that intensity into last night’s game, finally being rewarded after bombarding the NMS goal for 80 minutes. The heroes of the moment, ofcourse, are substitute striker Lumiere and captain Nene, both whom delivered sublime performances on Matchday Two.

Western Verdena was rocking last night, and its still rocking today. The 2nd round is now not only possible, but expected almost, from the Nedalians who had waited so long for this moment. When Nene leads out the team against Schiavonia tomorrow night, you can bet your bottom dollar that the stadium will literally vibrate. The fans have been some of the loudest, noisiest, and passionate in the entire tournament, almost making it seem like they were playing at home. Indeed, the border between Krytenia and Nedalia are still jampacked with Nedalians making their way in.

One more match, Lions! One more!! For all of us here at the studio, this Fargo Dust. You stay classy, Nedalia.

Sarzonia

13-07-2006, 15:05

Dear Diary,

At least this World Cup isn't like the last two we've had to deal with in two respects: One, you know this is a completely different team we're fielding this time around. That much I can't deny. There's no Kevin Wilson. There's no Jenna Raven. No Roger Treadway. It's all so different here. But number two is probably more important: We still have a chance!

As you may have seen, we upset Tadjikistan today. We looked like we were in big trouble when the Tigers took a 1:0 lead just four minutes into the match. I don't think I've ever seen Coach Wingate that mad since he got wind of that two match suspension from the WCC. I'm surprised he didn't pull Frank Talbot because he looked like he wanted to rip the guy a new arsehole.

But something seemed to click after the Tigers scored that goal. We finally started to play like something resembling our old selves from then on. Granted, it took us another 60 minutes to get the equaliser and it was an own goal at that, but that goal seemed to give our lads some serious life. All I can say is thank God for Jacobson's injury time goal. That gave us three points and for the first time in a long time, that last group stage match means something.

The bad news is, we've got to win the match or we're going home. If we draw, we're going to need Casari to beat Tadjikistan. I know the Tigers haven't shown a great deal of form in this group stage, but I don't want to take any chances. If we want to control our own destiny, we need to beat Becquerelia. If we draw and Casari win, the hosts will have nine points and we'll have four. Tadjikistan would have one point, Becquerelia would have two, so we'd still get in, but if we lose, we're definitely going home no matter what.

I don't know what the IFF is going to do after this World Cup. I bet even they don't know. But at least it looks like we're going to do something different this time. If we can make it to the knockouts, it'll bode well for our future. If not, at least we'll have something positive to build on that isn't a meaningless win when the lads already have their bags packed for home.

If we win our match or if we qualify through the back door, we've got to face either Hockey Canada or Audioslavia in the Round of 16 match. Frankly, I don't know which team I'd rather face: The team that does Karela better than the Rejistanians or the team we've only beaten in that Silver Jamboree thing. Somehow, I doubt the IFF would give a flying fuck.

Oops, I'd better run. I'm late for training. Talk to ya later.

Hor

Schiavonia

14-07-2006, 00:14

The Schiavone Scribe
Destiny Calls for Sloths
Jeruselem 1-2 Schiavonia

Yes, it's getting to that point in the World Cup again. The point where Schiavonia have a realistic chance of making it into the knockout stages of the World Cup with two matchdays down.

This time, the equation is simple. Beat Nedalia and the Sloths will be in the last sixteen. Fail to do so and the Lions will take their place. It is as simple as that.

How have we gotten into this situation? Well, we unexpectedly beat Jeruselem. Well, I say unexpectedly, that's how it would have seemed before the cup kicked off. After the opening games, this one seemed to be anyone's.

However, for forty-five minutes, there was only one side in it. Schiavonia were a dominant force over Jeruselem for the entire first half, looking sharper, quicker and more hungry for the win. You wouldn't have been able to tell who were the top ten side coming into the game on the back of a good win and the mid-twenties side who lost their opener.

The running game of the Sloths was too much for their opponents, and it showed in the half-time score. Twp Tony Tarmey goals, one after Edwards's shot rebounded of the post and the second headed home from a Sanderson corner.

It seemed easy. Too easy. The second half would prove just how well Jeruselem can play, and just how well Schiavonia can defend, although hanyone who watched the NMS game would know that already. As the game wore on, the Sloths grew more and more tired. Tarmey was replaced by Ferreira to offer more defensive strength, but still Jeruselem came at them.

Eventually, the Schiavone defence cracked under the pressure, as Penny Gadget curled an unstoppable free kick past Holmes, but the eleven remaining minutes brought nothing but frustration for them as they couldn't get past Schiavonia's wall of five at the back.

So, two-one it finished. Coupled with Nedalia's 2-0 victory over NMS, it means that the Sloths trail the Lions only on goals scored.

Anyone Schiavone who says that we won't draw and get knocked out on goals scored is lying!

Final score
Jeruselem 1 (Gadget 79)
Schiavonia 2 (Tarmey 12, 17)

Fmjphoenix

14-07-2006, 01:26

Goals apleanty as Vikings qualify for second round with a win

Denbigh Park, Ousevale: A gental breeze was in the air as 61,750 people packed in to the stadium. With two highly attacking teams, they were ready for a goalfest. They were satisfied fully as the teams exploded for 7 goals each, with the Vikings narrowly winning it in the final minutes extra time, four three, sending the Vikings into the second round with a match to spare.

Right away, both sides went at the ball without mercy. After a fair amount of struggle, the Aroras struck first. Latif Hunter nailed home the strike, putting it just out of the reach of a diving Justin Keys. Despite the quick goal, the Vikings were quick to respond. Barely a minute after Hunter's goal, Jack Russell sent a great pass from Laura Boyd through the arms of Ricardo DiTorino, drawing the match up one all in the eleventh minute. It seemed that the Aroras took exception to the goal. Seconds into the twentieth minute, lightning struck twice, as Hunter rushed up the right side of the field quicker than anyone else. Badr Warlow saw the opening and sent an excellent pass right to Hunter, who put it past Keys again to send Bettia up two one. Minutes before the first half, it seemed as if Ridley Silverlake was going to draw the match up, but DiTorino didn't let this one past. The save also sent the Aroras right back on the offensive. An excellent kick by DiTorino sent the ball past most of the Vikings midfielders and forwards, giving Bettia a 6-3 player advantage as they rushed towards the goal. With the plethora of pleyers, the Aroras passed well enough to give Gwrlais Devanallt a wide open shot against Keys, which he put through for a three one lead.

When the sides returned for the second half, everyone could see from the look of the Aroras that they looked like they were ready to close out the match. The front three of the Vikings had something to say about that. Two minutes after the match resumed, the Vikings reduced Bettia's lead to one, with Russell scoring his second goal of the match. Despite the Aroras attempt to comeback with a return goal, the Vikings defenders were rock solid, sending the ball away before anyone could come close to the box. Brian Sado was the one who broke the Aroras attack, knocking the ball loose from to Andrew Jenkins. With three Bettian midfielders closing on him, Jenkins lobbed the ball forward. Brian Dougood managed to retrieve the ball, turn around and fire a shot from 30 feet out. DiTorino was too shocked, his reaction came too late as the ball sailed past to draw the match up three all in the 73rd minute. With the match coming down in the final minutes and both teams hungry for the one goal to win it all, Mike Nolan proved again why he is the leader of this team. Managing to get to the box alone, Silverlake sent a lob to Nolan. When Stephen Harris came up to try and head the ball out, Nolan's head got to it first, sending the ball past DiTorino and sending the Vikings home winners.

Despite already qualifying, the Vikings will be heading into Avidia with the purpose to walk out winners. Every time Fmjphoenix matches up with Krytenia the match becomes intense. Both teams love the sweet delicious coffee delivered from the Golden Cafetiere, therefore when the Coffee Cup starts up, you know you are going to get your moneys worth. Next up is the co-host of World Cup 29, the tenth ranked team and Coffee Rival (TM), Krytenia.

Fmjphoenix 4 - 3 Bettia
Russell 11, 45, Dougood 73, Nolan 90 - Hunter 10, 20, Devanallt 43

World Cup 29 Qualification
------------------------------------------------------------
MD01: Fmjphoenix 5 - 1 Zychibastan
MD02: Fmjphoenix 4 - 2 Schiavonia
MD03: Vaum and Isma 0 - 3 Fmjphoenix
MD04: Fmjphoenix 8 - 1 Mr Chuck Norris
MD05: Northern Caesarea 1 - 1 Fmjphoenix
MD06: Risa-Aramour 2 - 1 Fmjphoenix
MD07: Warrior Treblah 1 - 5 Fmjphoenix
MD08: Zychibastan 0 - 4 Fmjphoenix
MD09: Schiavonia 3 - 2 Fmjphoenix
MD10: Fmjphoenix 0 - 1 Vaum and Isma
MD11: Mr Chuck Norris 2 - 3 Fmjphoenix
MD12: Fmjphoenix 2 - 0 Northern Caesarea
MD13: Fmjphoenix 6 - 1 Risa-Aramour
MD14: Fmjphoenix 2 - 0 Warrior Treblah
-----------------------Group-Stage-------------------------
MD15: Fmjphoenix 3 - 1 Spaam Country Ground, Dereapolis
MD16: Fmjphoenix 4 - 3 Bettia Denbigh Park, Ousevale
MD17: Fmjphoenix ? - ? Krytenia New City Stadium, Avidia
------------------------------------------------------------
Record: 10-1-3 | 53 - 19
------------------------------------------------------------
Goal Scorers:
M. Nolan - 25
J. Russell - 10
B. Dougood - 9
R. Silverlake - 4
S. Timmett - 3
A. Jenkins - 2

New Montreal States

14-07-2006, 01:48

William Branstone looked around him at the collection of disappointed and downcast faces in the locker.

"Real good job out there tonight, boys. Hope you can hold your heads high and smile with pride, because I sure as hell can't.

"I've half a mind to ship some of you back to New Montreal and just turn y'all loose on the streets," Branstone continued, voice even. "You threw in the towel in the last fifteen minutes. You backed down from Nedalia. Nedalia! A team that's been 0-0-7 before tonight." He paused. "A team that, thanks to your pathetic showing tonight, now has a better chance of advancing into the group stage than you do."

"Y'all think you can get past the Crusaders?" Branstone looked around the room. Nobody was willing to meet his gaze. "Y'all can't get past them if this is the way y'all play. Y'all can't get past Alan f***ing Shearer right now, let alone past Jeruselem."

"We're going down to the practice facility tonight," he continued, "so pack your stuff and get your ass in gear. Since none of you sorry losers felt like putting forth any effort out there-" he gestured towards the exit to the field "-y'all get to run your asses off down there. And you will love every minute of it, understand?"

Nobody spoke. "Bus leaves in ten minutes," Branstone finished, "and if you know what's good for you you'll be on it in five."

Casari

14-07-2006, 04:50

Keith Charles Romero played the guitar. He played it well. And he was on the verge of something. But he didn't know quite what it was.

"Damnit, you guys, quit pushing." he said, stuffed in the backseat of his friends Tiger Cars Cub, a little shitbox of a car that probably was leaking exhaust back into the cab.

"Shut up, KC, you don't know what you're talking about." Rick yelled back at him from two and a half feet away in the front seat, while weaving the car through traffic. "That was the best one goal win I've ever seen."

KC was inclined to agree. It was quite a match, with a burner skidding off the post - somehow - and into the goal in 84th minute of the match.

Rick dodged traffic and sent the passengers on a few quick Hail Maries until he slammed on the brakes in a quiet neighborhood in the suburbs of Ashford, throwing the occupants towards the windshield, and hopped out of the car, leaving his companions to untangle themselves from each other and enter the house behind him.

Ken mumbled, sitting down on the couch. "God, I'm starving. I told you guys, we should have gone for pancakes."

"Oh please, shut your hole. All you do is eat and let us pick up the tab." Rick said, staring.

"I know, it's great." Ken said, making an attempt to kick Rick in the head as he sat down.

"You know, I've been thinking." KC said, leaning against the wall next to the door.

"Shit, thinking? Who forgot to give him his medication?" Ken said, laughing.

"Shut up, knobbonker. I was thinking, they're saying NinjaPirate pulled out of playing at halftime at the World Cup Final." KC's words were met with silence. "Well, and considering it's still a few weeks until the final, they're holding some kind of panicy search for a new act."

"... KC, what the slani hell are you suggesting?" Aaron said, staring up from a spot laying on the floor.

"Well... there's tryouts in a few days in the city... and I was figuring... well, what the hell, you know?" KC said, perhaps having a few second thoughts about the idea in the face of opressive silence.

Rick was speechless. Well, he was able to say a few things, but most of them would result in my excommunication to repeat.

"What? It couldn't hurt." KC continued. "We did well at that act at Flinger's last weekend."

"Flinger's is not a World Cup final." Lucas said, raising an eyebrow quietly.

"Just wait, though, this could be cool. It's not like it would kill us to try it. Besides, we could try to use it to impress some club owners later." Aaron said.

"Yeah, we could play some speed metal or something." Ken said, sitting forward.

"We're not playing speed metal for the World Cup. Clearly, the music choice should be German Death Metal." Aaron said up from the floor.

"German Death Metal. You must have taken a trip to Spruitland, man, because you wouldn't think that sober."

"No, it'll be great. They'll be all 'oooh, who's that' on stage, and then bam! The crowd would crap itself."

Rick sighed. "I'm not hearing what I'm hearing. This is idiocy."

"Come onnnn, Rick, you know it'll be fun." KC said. "Come onnnnnnnnn."

"Yean, Come on. Be cool." Aaron added from the floor.

"What happened to you, man, you used to be cool." Ken said, crossing his arms.

Rick sighed. "We'd have to go with some wide-appeal alternative stuff. German Death Metal. He can't be sober."

Lucas nodded. "He's not sober, he had 4 Stouts at the game."

KC shrugged. "Well, now we need a real name for the band. The Drunken Monkey Experience isn't exactly the most appealing."

-----

After a 4 day rush of practicing and a decent amount of Rejistanian Cola, the band managed to pile their stuff into a beat up van and backfire their way back into the city. Walking slowly into a crowded auditorium, they waited all day to be one of the last bands to try out.

"Next." One of the halftime producers said, obviously distressed at the day's activity. Maybe they could get more money from the budget to hire NinjaPirate back. "What exactly do you call yourselves?"

KC glanced around behind him for a second, and saw his bandmates close their eyes a bit and sigh to themselves.

"We're KC and the World Cup Band."

"Witty." The producer said, staring them down. "Alright, go ahead."

Rejistania

14-07-2006, 10:53

As the World Cup match between the Orange-Blues and Andossa Se Mitrin Vega is about to start, we log into a rejistanian IRC-Server and join the channel #esuvortu, which means sport and switch the translator on.

-!- You have joined #esuvortu. "Welcome to #esuvortu, where trolling is forbidden, confusion is common, sanity is necessary and pants are optional!"
<Sidane> Hey there, anyone else not being able to watch the match?
<Teke> I won't, work!
* SySa is ill and can't go to the pub to watch the match, has a shitty TV here however!
<Sidane> Great, keep us updated!
* SySa has no antenna!
<Teke> Tell us what's happening... ah nevermind!
* SySa needs to stand behind the TV and put the thumb on the port to get a decent signal
<KimiYnu> you're joking!
* SySa is not... I SAID it slanis!
* Xkora suggests using a fork
<SySa> that works? I'll try it out!
<KimiYnu> K~hojna, being abroad SLANIS!! The match is not shown here since a cycling competition takes place!
<Xkora> WHAT?!?! Cycling more important than Soccer? where is that?
<KimiYnu> Spruitland...
<Xkora> Poor KimiYnu!
<Teke> yeah... poor emigrant!
<SLSR> BTW: How did your team play, Xkora?
<Xkora> We won 4:0!
<Teke> Which team?
<Xkora> 'Rejistania'
<Teke> You are no national player!
<Xkora> No, but the H10SR team I play in is called Rejistania so 'everyone has the chance to play for Rejistania'.
<Teke> *lol*
<SySa> Yay, it works!
<SySa> I can watch the match even though very much hindered by snow!
<Sidane> Keep us updated!
-!- SySa is now known as SySa|0-0
* SySa|0-0 will do!

...later...
<SySa|0-0> Man I can not believe that this Frankton-Takilan really decided for such a takilan formation! Did you ever see a rejistani team with 2(!!) strikers?
<Xkora> Yes, well not live but on video
<SySa|0-0> Where?
<Xkora> I saw a video of the WC12 final!
<SySa|0-0> I thought the temple of Karela destroyed all soccer videos from the time before its government
<Xkora> Only in Rejistania, videos from abroad were untouched. I saw a version from Audioslavia... did you know the Orange-Blues played with 3 strikers?
* SySa|0-0 faints!
-!- SySa|0-0 is now known as SySa|0-1
<SySa|0-1> Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
<SySa|0-1> Goal for ASMV!
<Sidane> NO!
<KimiYnu> Where is Laksu Kynsu when you need him?
<Teke> SLANI! DEBTS!!!
<SySa|0-1> What was that rejistanian defense thinking? This horrible mistake! It's a shame!

...later...
<Teke> I still think this Eric Frankton-guy is the insolvency administrator of the rejistanian national team.
<Teke> Under Maniac's guidance they already were not able to compete, now Frankton's job is to make the end so, no one wants to watch their matches anymore!
<Teke> We'll all watch Mjinen and Field hockey matches in a few years instead of the World Cup.
-!- SySa|0-1 is now known as SySa|1-1
<SySa|1-1> Xkoooooooooooorrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
<SySa|1-1> Sikane'tes scored!!
<Xkora> bad time for a rant, eh?
<Teke> We'll lose anyways!
<SySa|1-1> Seeing how the Orange-Blues dominate... unlikely!

...later...
<SySa|1-1> Yeah, the referee indicated 2 minutes additional time...
<Xkora> Tell us when the the half is over!

...after a while...
<Xkora> SySa|1-1?
* Xkora slaps SySa|1-1 around a bit with a large tropical fish!
-!- SySa|1-1 is now known as SySa|2-1
<SySa|2-1> XKKKKOOOOOOOORRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
<SySa|2-1> that's the lead for the Orange-Blues in the last seconds of the first half!
* SySa|2-1 slaps Xkora around a bit with a large tropical fish!
<SySa|2-1> Don't slap me if I watch the match!
<Xkora> you promised to keep us updated!
<SySa|2-1> But not in exciting situations.
<Teke> Was the match as bad as I imagined?
<SySa|2-1> In the beginning, the Orange-Blues made horrible mistakes! It really looked as if this match would be won by ASMV. That was when they took the lead
<Teke> but then?
<SySa|2-1> Give me time to type!
<SySa|2-1> then the Orange-Blues got into the match better, won more duels, and scored twice.
<Teke> Kiirii that early?
<SySa|2-1> no, just them getting more used to the countering ASMVlers.
<Teke> I should support them then, at least they play attractive soccer!
<SySa|2-1> This Imdilan system is good if you were not brainwashed by the temple of Karela!
<KimiYnu> Indeed, I saw replays of the first match. Not too unattractive...
<Sidane> ...if you are a bettian takilan!

...later...
<Sidane> Did I say that I hate not being able to watch the match?
<KimiYnu> about 30 times, if we just count today!
<KimiYnu> Others were as unlucky and didn't bitch as much!
* Sidane headbutts KimiYnu!
-!- Sidane [Sidane@241.22.98.134] has been kicked by SLSR [red card!]
<KimiYnu> good decision!
-!- Sidane [Sidane@241.22.98.134] has joined #esuvortu
<Sidane> meh :-(
<SySa|2-1> oh dear... chance for ASMV!
<KimiYnu> What's happening?
<Sidane> What is going on on the pitch?
<Teke> Yeah, same as the others!
<Teke> That was a joke of SySa!
<Teke> The matchticker has no infos!
<KimiYnu> matchticker? where?
<Teke> http://Kansu-milhan.he.rj/sekhika/xentira.htm
<KimiYnu> ewwwwwwwww, MY EYES! This is... horrible!
<Teke> Oops, I meant this: http://tv-r.rj/esuvortu/milhan'ny/kamamaxi/milhan.shtml
<Teke> :-)
<KimiYnu> You were hurting my eyes! I'll SUE you!
<Sidane> Good thing it took time to start the browser, eh? What was this first link?
<Teke> don't ask, don't watch, don't pretend it existed!
-!- SySa|2-1 is now known as SySa|3-1
<SySa|3-1> XXXXXKKKKKKKOOOOOOOORRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAA!

...later...
<SySa|3-1> Holy Shit!
<SySa|3-1> I owe Xkora something... I think he saved me!
<Xkora> how?
<SySa|3-1> remember that idea with using a fork instead of your thumb? It can be a good idea to stay away from the TV if it catches fire!
<SySa|3-1> and that is what just happened!
<Xkora> :O
<Xkora> Holy Mother of Taderekansa!
<SySa|3-1> I did extinguish the fire, but now need to watch the match elsewhere!
-!- SySa|3-1 is now known as SySa|AWAY

...later...
* Xkora dances naked!
* Teke averts eyes!
<Xkora> 85th minute Syku Lyku Desnike'tes was able to use the disorder during the corner shot to increase the score! Rejistania leads 4:1!
* Teke joins in dancing!

...later...
-!- SySa|AWAY is now known as SySa
* SySa does the la'kanvali dance! 4:1!
* SySa now goes off drinking!
-!- SySa [SykuLyku@221-91-1-170.ela-ila.jsk.rj] has quit [Quit: 12, 17, 18, 23, 29]

Jeruselem

14-07-2006, 12:36

"Good morning, this is Rachel Kool for JGN. No, it's not the result of the final group games as they have not being played yet. We'll find out soon but not now. I have to announce the winner of the great Nedalian holiday giveaway. To recap the prize, a lucky family gets to travel around Nedalia in luxury and style - all paid for by JGN. Two months of holiday for the lucky winners, and if your family happens to have 10 people - it's fine by us. Oh, all JGN employees and Jeruselem FA employees cannot win this prize for fairness sake. That includes me and Harry too. You get a credit with some spending money too. You also get to see some Nedalian Premier League games too but you don't have to go if you don't like football."

* Waves envelope *

"Now let's find out who wins this award. Oh yeah, and the winner is ..."

* Trumpet sound *
* Images of beautiful Nedalia and people having fun *

"The Bachen family in East Jerusalem. Yes, the clan of 5 wins the prize. The Bachens will be visited by an JGN official to verify they are real people and you know, all the other stuff that happens with prizes. I can't be there because I've got a World Cup to yak on about. So the Bachens are going to Nedalia for some well earned rest. There are some other small prizes like mobile phones and MP3 players which have been won, but JGN will inform these people what they've won. That's it. I'll be back on air for the results of the final group stage games. The Bachens can plan a real holiday and have fun in Nedalia."

<cuts to scene at a home>

Arab man, his wife and three cute kids are jumping around hugging each other with woman and a lawyer from JGN nearby.

"Thank you, thank you. I've been working for 20 years but I can't get a decent holiday. I don't know what to say ... Jeruselem is beautiful nation and my home but Nedalia will be too. I've always wanted to go there and God is merciful. God is generous, God is great. He let me win this holiday. Thank you JGN, thank you Nedalia, thank God!" says the husband.

Kids run around in circles as the wife is crying for joy. Jeruselem JGN woman hands the husband a big large cheque "Here's your cheque from the Nedalians. It's your spending money and it's not taxable ... it's all tax free. Well done guys. Enjoy Nedalia!"

Nedalia

14-07-2006, 13:31

In co-ordination with Jeruselem Government News, we are pleased to welcome the Bachen family to Nedalia! We have a magnificent 2 month holiday planned for the lucky winners, starting with a 2 week stay at the most luxurious hotel in Kafra, the Jade Hotel-Kafra, a 1600 room marvel of architecture in downtown. The Bachens will be staying in one of the most luxurious suites available, accomodating them depending on their family size!

In Kafra, they will be given K30,000 (approx. $40,000) of shopping money to spend as they please! In addition, many tours and events are planned, including museum trips, luxury box seats to a Shoreland United match, galleries, historical sites, and much more!

From Kafra, the Bachens will make their way to Aanjar, otherwise known as 'The City Upon the Desert', where they will stay for 2 weeks as well. Aanjar is the 2nd largest city in Nedalia and is situated on the Kafra River in the middle of the Shamsa Desert. Safaris and visits to mysterious and mythical desert sites and archeological digs are planned, as well as tours around Nedalia's most mystical city.

From there the Bachens will spend 2 weeks in temperate northern Nedalia, between Kimstronne and Andestranne. Some maginificent year round skiing is available on Nedalia's side of the Shiekh Mountain Range, which seperates the country from Krytenia, and they are only a few hours from the respective cities listed above. The beautiful countryside will also be toured.

The Next stop from the Bachens will be southern Nedalia, where they will be staying at the top seaside resorts in the country in Honsfield and Dalutha, and will also visit the naval bases in Brickell and Rappor. Many days will be spent on the beautiful and peaceful southern shores of Nedalia. The beautiful countryside of southeastern Nedalia will also be fully experienced, before the family heads back to Kafra to wrap up their fully paid for tour!

Once again, full credit goes to JGN for this fabulous World Cup giveaway! Our fabulous friends in Jeruselem have the full support of the Nedalian fans in Krytenia, and we cordially invite them to Nedalia after WC29 is done for a week of celebration!

Congratulations, again, to the Bachen family, and we will make sure their stay in Nedalia will be a most pleasant one.

Schiavonia

14-07-2006, 13:50

"You're listening to Schia FM, and we've come to Krytenia for another edition of World Cup Sloths! I'm Mike Jones..."

"...and I'm Filipo Schiavone, and we're in Ousevale City Centre as we bring you the build up to the Sloths' all important final group game against Nedalia tomorrow night."

"Well, the scenes here are what you'd expect from Schiavone fans wherever in the world they may be. A real party atmosphere amongst the Orange and Dark Red on the streets of Ousevale tonight. However, it seems that the camaraderie isn't with the fans of the opposing side, but with fans of the New Montreal States team instead."

"That is a little unusual, Mike. Where are all the Nedalians?"

"Well, we can tell you that the Nedalian fans are at some friendship thing with the Jeruselem fans, just as they have been all cup. Not ones to be left out of a friendly atmosphere, the Schiavone fans created their own, then invited the NMS fans over because they thought that they felt left out. It seems that the two sets of fans have bonded quite well, too. No doubt they'll be cheering each other on come tomorrow night!"

"Indeed. Well everyone seems to be getting along pretty well here, but we're not just here to make friends. No, there's football to be played."

"Yes, there is, Filipo. And it isn't the first time that Schiavonia have gone into the last group game at a World Cup Finals with all to play for. Let's look back now at how it has gone for them before."

- - - - -

Voiceover Guy: "Remember World Cup 26? Of course you do. You remember the tale of how a little-known first time entrant nation called Schiavonia managed to make it all the way through qualifying, finishing level on points with the mighty Rejistania, then beating the Liverpool England Ignoramuses in the finals themselves. If you were around, you will know it. If you weren't, you probably know it, too. But what most people forget is how it ended. Mike Jones, Schiavonia's captain at the time, remembers..."

"We wedoing so well at the time. We'd beaten Liverpool England, only lost by one to a rampant Fmjphoenix side, and we just needed to better the Terminators' score to go through."

VG: "In Schiavonia's way were Spruitland. Easily beaten by Fmjphoenix in their opener, then absolutely thrashed against Liverpool England in the next game, nobody doubted that they were there for the taking."

"We knew we could do it. But we knew that LE could do it, too. And their goal difference was four better than ours going into that game."

VG: "However, six minutes in, and it was all over."

"It was as if we didn't turn up. At the time, there was a bit of tension between Schiavonia and Liverpool England, and rumours at the time were that we felt sorry for Spruitland after they had been thrashed by them, but nothing could be further from the truth. We wanted to send them home. However, we were a goal down after thirty-something seconds. Three down by about six minutes."

VG: "It all got too much for the inexperienced Sloths, as they wilted under Spruitland's pressure. Filipo Schiavone explains."

"We'd heard that LE were three-one down, and we were really trying to get back into the game, but it just never happened for us. Then came the fourth goal, and all hell broke loose."

VG: "In an unheralded attack on a member of the crowd, Schiavone struck out at a member of the crowd. He was never the same player again."

"I can just remember being taunted by someone in the crowd. I thumped him, and got what I deserved. The only thing that saved me from being a public hate figure was the fact that the SFF already had a bigger one in Michael Ford."

VG: "Down to ten and needing four goals to go through, Schiavonia were dead and buried. Another goal for Spruitland wasn't enough to see them through, and Liverpool England advanced, despite a four-one defeat. They went on to come second. But they would get another chance. Gary Topp explains."

"Well, we'd had a nightmare run. We'd thrown away a win against Tadjikistan and drew that one in the end, then Liverpool England beat us easily. We played Milchama in the last game, and qualifying from the group wan't really on our mind."

VG: "However, this time, they would come even closer than the last."

"We had to score a big result against them, while LE had to do us a favour. And we almost did it."

VG: "With just ten minutes to play, the Sloths were in the final qualifying place, three-one up against Milchama while Liverpool England led the Tadjiks by four goals to one."

"At least we can say that we gave it our best shot that day. We heard throug Rodney Lowe that Tadjikistan had scored twice, and that we'd have to see a two goal change back in our favour to go through. Tony Tarmey scored with the last kick of the match, but it wasn't to be. We were convinced that Liverpool England were still bitter about the Michal Ford case, which they probably were at the time, and that they let those two goals in deliberately, but now we know better. A Liverpool Englander would nver do such a thing."

VG: "And so it is that in their two previous World Cup Tournaments, Schiavonia have gone out on goal difference and goals scored. Anything other than a win tomorrow night, and it will be another near miss on the list."

- - - - -

"Indeed it will be, but let's hope is doesn't come down to this, eh Filipo?"

"Sorry, I'm still embarrased by my sending off."

"Well, I don't blame you, but it was a different world back then. So how do you see Schiavonia going about their business tomorrow?"

"Same as they have done in their other games so far. 4-3-3, let Tarmey and Bradley drop back, let Edwards burst through the middle and try to stifle the Lions as best we can."

"OK. Finally, the winner of our half-time competition from the NMS game, which was a trip to the rather wonderful nation that we like to call New Montreal States for as long as they like is a Mrs G Winstone of Kingsbury. A trip to a beautiful Orthodox nation for you. From us, though, goodnight!"

"And good luck!"

Oliverry

14-07-2006, 18:30

Oliverry bounce back from losing to McPsychoville and wins 2-0 against Commerce Heights.

By: Jean-Roger Dubuc

Here we are: Oliverry is still alive after a win against Commerce Heights. Doubts were there even before the game started as the Capitalizt captain put 500,000 TIY while handshaking the referee. The Oliverrian captain saw that and the referee felt bad. After 10 minutes, Capitalizts scored a goal, but it got disallowed after the 4th official (the only one that was not paid by the capitalizts) saw that it was a clear offside. Oliverrians scored at the 30th minute after one of the capitalizt players fouled in the zone, resulting in a penalty. After 45 minutes, the score was 1-0.

At 2nd half, the Oliverrian squad played it's best half of the tournament itself (excluding the Qs), posseding the ball 62% of the time. Capitalizts started to play very roughly and even spilt TIY on the pitch. At the 64th minute, Oliverry scored, but the goal was disallowed because the player was supposedly in offside. At the 86th minute, a Capitalizt tried to score, but the ball was stopped by the keeper and went higher than the horizontal bar. The referee then made a controversial call that changed the match: he told the keeper that it was a kick for him, and not a corner like it was supposed to be. Everyone in the stands yelled to injustice, but the kick was done and it was too late. After the Oliverrian team made passes and such and, at the 87th minute, they scored! 2-0. Oliverry would then secure its win by controlling the ball for the rest of the game.

The Islands of Qutar

14-07-2006, 23:03

Qutar Sports News Network

Good evening everyone, well its been a hot day in Casari today but thankfullly for the players it seems to be cooling down at the City of Ashford Stadium, but hopefully the football will be as hot as the day has been. We've faced them twice before and gotten two draws, so hopefully should bear well for us today. Well it looks like the players are coming out onto the pitch now, and the players line up for the singing of the anthems, and the stadium really roars with the anthems. It seems that the Liverpool England captain Adam Carrero has won the toss and they'll kick off the first Group F match of this World Cup.

Well the whistle has blown and Liverpool England are starting off very attackingly as Sunderland moves strongly forward with the ball, but Wildgoose moves in to tackle him, he get the ball, but the referee blows his whistle, why's he done that? What! He's given Wildgoose a yellow card within the first minute of the match for that! The crowd are in angry disbelief as am I, what happened there. Well Liverpool England have a free kick, taken by Thompson, he's lofted into the box, Will Lemkes rises up to head the ball out he clears the ball back up the pitch but wait Langer has gone down, its a dive, Gordon picks up the ball, oh no! The referee has awarded a penalty! Lets look at the replay again. No-one is near Langer as he goes down, hang on whats this as the referee puts the ball on the spot Langer hands him what appears to be a wad of cash! The Qutari players have seen this and are going to the referee to protest, Siese and Parker lead the protest, oh this is a farce the referee has given red cards to both Siese and Parker, why aren't any of the other officials doing anything about this, and Langer hands some more cash over to the referee, the Qutari players can't do anything about this for fear of getting sent off and making it worse. Well Sunderland steps up to take the penalty and.......... he scores! Just past the fingertips of Stone, but the Qutari fans are still in disbelief over the earlier incident. Well its time to kick off again, and hang on the referee is having to go off the pitch to empty his pockets of the dirty cash, this in unbelievable, but Ali kicks off the the game again, and Tsai launches into Ali, leaving him on the ground, stupid me expecting the referee to award a free kick, Tsai runs down the pitch, he's going all the way, he's outside the box and smashes one at the goal, and it curls in, amongst all the sh*t going on tonight that was a piece of gold, you have to admire that goal, and the Qutari players are holding there heads, and Ali looks to have been taken off the pitch, and the referee isn't lefting Philip Davies sub on any players for Qutar, and Wildgoose has to kick off the game again, he passes it to Gordon, who seeing a run by Tomlin hoofs it down the left, and he gets a cross in that met by the head of Wildgoose and we've made it 2-1, in spite of this ref it's 2-1! Oh no I spoke too soon! Hauser has just given the linesman a large wad of cash and he's given it offside, the Qutari players are flocking around the linesman in protest, the referee runs over and gives Wildgoose a red card, the players are in shock as Carrero hoofs it up the pitch to Langer whos waiting near the box, and he's moves towards the Qutari goal, and he goes down no-one near him, and guess what the referee has awarded a penalty and awards Stone a yellow card, well Langer goes and give the referee his dirty payment, and Sunderland steps up to take the ill-gotten penalty, Stone saves it! But the referee demands the penalty be taken again, I just can't believe this! Sunderland takes the penalty again, sends Stone the wrong way and he scores, the Qutari fans are leaving in protest it seems. Philip Davies is going mad on the touchline. Gordon kicks off the game, and is immediatly launched into by the referee! The referee passes it to Langer, who easyly moves through the sparse midfield, the players are leaving him alone for fear of a foul. He in the box, Stone on the goalline, and he goes down, and no prizes for guessing what, its a penalty! Sunderland on his hattrick of ill gotten penalties and he sends it just past Stone! This just gets stranger the referee gives the kick off to Liverpool England, the Qutari players have left the pitch in protest, and Langer sends the ball back to Carrero who strolls the length of the pitch to score in the open goal, the referee blows his whistle for full time and what a travasty of a match, unf*cking believable.

Liverpool England 5 (5)-(0) 0 The Islands of Qutar
Sunderland, 1 (pen),
5 (pen),
12 (pen)
Tsai, 3
Carrero, 13
Yellow Cards: Wildgoose
Red Cards: Siese, Parker, Wildgoose

Casari

14-07-2006, 23:11

MD3 CUTOFF for groups A/B/C/D.

Krytenia

15-07-2006, 01:30

And its E/F/G/H brother.

New Montreal States

15-07-2006, 03:05

"...and live out on the streets after that stunning 2-0 win over Jeruselem, it's Marcos Maniakes. Marcos, how are things out there?"

"Well, with the lovefest betwixt Crusaders and Lions, the NMS fans have reacted by forming a similar bond with the Schiavone contingent - and with both sides advancing tonight, it looks like there's plenty to celebrate out there."

"And the match itself, Paul?"

"It was everything a Paladins fan could hope for, our first solid performance in the Cup finals, and a good momentum builder as we head off to face McPsychoville. The side was dominant from the get-go, with the Paladins taking possession early on and grabbing a quick 1-0 lead they were never to relinquish on a header from Villeneuve in the 10th minute."

"Good to see he's back."

"He certainly did a grand disappearing act against Nedalia, let me tell you. Not a shot on goal the whole match, nary a setup for Labranche or one of the midfielders - not a pretty sight by any means."

"Speaking of the midfield..."

"Never better. Jacques Toussaint proved it in the second half, with the Crusaders launching their most determine effort of the day, he took a pass from Laurier, dribbled downfield and sent a beee-utiful curving shot right past the keeper."

"And is the city still standing?"

"We all know how raucous NMS fans can get at times...but everyone seems to be on their best behaviour. Maybe the Sloths are wearing off on us or something."

“And what’s next for the States?”

“A round of 16 match against upset specials McPsychoville, whose highly Karelan format will be the first major defensive challenge the Paladins will have faced this cup. With the offense being a sometimes thing right now, this match should be a trendy upset pick.”

"Maybe. For Marcos Maniakes, I'm Paul, and we'll be right back with more after these messages."

PALADINS 2 - Villeneuve 10, Toussaint 50
JERUSELEM 0

TOURNAMENT SCORING

Villeneuve 8
H. Labranche 6
Faulkner 5
Toussaint 4
Corcoran 3
Pilon 2
Tessier 2
Crèvecoeur 1
Darcy 1
Hunyadi 1
F. Labranche 1
Plattsburgh 1
St-Édouard 1
Vaillancourt 1

Sarzonia

15-07-2006, 03:21

"Man, my ears are still ringing!"

"Yeah, me too."

"I about near had a heart attack after that game. Can you believe how close we were to conceding that equaliser in the 84th minute?"

I couldn't either, I thought as I overheard the conversation after leading Brackenhoff Avenue in southern Wilmington. It was a quiet day: The explosion at the David Crosby Convention Centre in Woodstock was still fresh on the minds of billions of Sarzonians, but so too was the revelry at the local Hermanos sports bar.

But the Sarzonian national football team that had been sent packing after three World Cup matches in back to back World Cups and went with a brand new coaching staff and a completely different roster of players was returning to the knockout stages.

It was the first time since that infamous World Cup XXVI, a Cup that newspapers in Sarzonia still note with an asterisk after what media outlets described as the cheating by Commerce Heights footballing governing body and the incompetent administration by Oliverry's football association. Even if the Sarzonians ended up losing to Audioslavia, a fate that wouldn't catch anyone by surprise considering the Stars have only ever beaten the Slaves once in their history, they would at least have shown major progress.

Yes, my ears were still ringing, even though I was already walking across the parking lot toward my 9-5 office job the next day. Jacobson scored his third goal of the World Cup finals. The only problem with that was that he was the only Stars player to score a goal in the Finals. But at least someone found his scoring touch for the Stars. And at least Frank Talbot found his way after the three goal disaster against Casari.

Now it's on to Krytenia, where the Stars and Slaves would play for the first time in 21 years. The only players with any experience facing the Slaves were the two assistant coaches. But today wasn't the time to think about that. Today was the day to celebrate. Sort of like the sprays of champagne that whooshed through the Sarzonian locker room after they had punched their ticket to the next round. At least there'll be one more meaningful match to play.

Casari

15-07-2006, 05:16

Nina Leir didn't think the World Cup would be so depressing. Being the youngest player to play for the national team was an honor, sure. But never getting to play and being stuck as a token girl backup to the only Casaran International ever was making the rest of the cup look like a rather depressing affair.

And a 3:0 loss to the other Tigers (you know, we're the Tigers too. Ugly kits and everything, remember?) didn't help a bit. Sure, Casari kept the top seed, so they can pray for a lucky win over Hockey Canada.

Leir left the stadium quietly. All she was really looking forward to was bed. It'd be the one time of peace before the bitching out tomorrow by Hill and the unending practice for the next match.

The Enori Performance RXS Rotari is high-performance in every sense of the word. A true race car out of the factory, the car fields a price tag of over half a million selaris. It's six-liter V12 engine is capable of going from 0-60 in under 3.8 seconds. It's truly one of the pinnicles of Casaran Engineering, or whatever passes as Casaran Engineering, anyway.

The Enori Performance RXS Rotari is also barely street legal. And in the hands of the drunk son of a National Assemblyman, it probably wouldn't be.

The car cut back and forth between two lanes of traffic and through a first red light on the curved road around the Tyrellia Hill Stadium. They made it to the second red light, where Nina Leir had enough time to look up, see the headlights coming at her, and mutter an explative.

The responding ambulance was on scene in under 2 minutes, thankfully, which later news reports would credit as the reason she didn't die on the scene. The ambulance headed directly for Saint Alexius Hospital, while the City police, already out in force for the match, quickly began their work as well.

-----

A good fourteen hours of surgery later, Hill, looking rather dissheveled, was talking with a doctor outside her room.

"I'm not quite sure I should be talking to you about this-"

"Just spill it, or I'll tear you apart." Hill said flatly, her eyes looking bloodshot.

"Her legs are shattered." The doctor said, rubbing his eyes. "She'll be lucky to even keep her legs, and even then she'll never walk again. In all honestly, she might be better off losing them." he said, before glancing in the room and walked away.

Hill sighed. The nation's future best striker was about to have her legs chopped off because she got smacked by a high-end sports car. Hill was wracking her brain, trying to come up with something.

A quiet groan eminating from the room drew Hill inside to see Nina, looking a tad beaten up, laying on the hospital bed, staring at the ceiling. "You're fucking up my team, Nina." she said lightly, hoping that dark humor could lighten the mood.

"Pfft, like you'd ever put me in for Livingston anyway." she said up from the bed.

"Hear anything from the doctors?"

"Oh, yeah. I really wish I didn't."

"Well..." Hill said, closing her eyes. The sheer amount of favors she would have to call in on this would leave her in debt to more people than she even knew. "I have an idea. I'm going to go call in some favors, though. Make sure you don't go anyplace." she said, turning to leave.

"Damn, I had a date tonight too."

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

15-07-2006, 05:18

This is Annabelle Seagram of the Gaming News Reporter

Today’s Yahtzee Championships are among the most heated competitions to have been experienced here in ASMV for quite some time. The finals game between Colvert Hilton and Jasmine Abberweockky has come down to this final throw of the dice for Abberwockky. With three 5s showing, she desperately needs two more to pop up for her to defeat Hilton who currently has finished with an incredible score of 358. And here’s the throw - and only one 5 shows. Colvert Hilton has won the 53rd annual Yahtzee Championships of ASMV.

And this just in - The Sea Dragons actually won a match in WC group play by defeating Quakmybush - Oh my gosh! Can I say that on TV? The score was 3-0 for ASMV. We will now send you out to Meldenberg for the Beard Braiding Extravaganza. See you next time.

(And Congrats to our friends in Ariddia.)

Chicanada

15-07-2006, 06:26

Chicanada Daily Rabbler
Where Proper Analysis Goes To Die

THE HELL?!?!
CFA Lodges Protest Against Krytenian Staff After Penalty-filled Ouster

Eastentown - At least we got a point. But the Chicanadan FA won't take it.

CFA Presidum Quoshen is flying out to meet with the Starblaydi leadership after the national side filed an official complaint over the officiating and pretty much every goal in Aridda's 6-2 thrashing of 8-manned Chicanada.

The Stars were up 2-0 after 30 minutes but in a disasterous 10 minutes of play Aridda went up 3-2 and Chicanada lost their leaing scorers and their keeper.

Yep, somehow Niome Washington caused an Ariddian forward to be injured for three seconds, causing a red card and a free kick in the 32nd minute.

This was followed by Michael Klobee getting his second yellow for a dive from an Ariddan defender, which led to yet another free kick in front of the Stars goal (yeah, the defender made his way towards the box). The header off the kick snuck past backup Stars keeper Ruslan Omejende. Then the Stars fell behind for good when Niam Washington got two yellows for a red in the 38th minute after several Ariddans convinced the Krytenian ref that his basic tackle was a defensive dive, causing yet another magical injury for twelve seconds. Which led to another penalty kick.

In the second half, Aridda got one goal (and their only non-protested goal) off a splendid pass play. Then they got another dive for a free kick. And they fully raped the shorthanded side off a penalty from Malacki Uroals, his first of the game after two goals in the 17th and 29th minute.

Chicanadan officials launched their protest at half-time and filed their official protest immediately after the game, calling the refereeing shody, questionable and biased in favor of the opposition. Considering the dive plays taken by Aridda, Yerevan Malli questioned their play and their advancement and fully supports the CFA's protest of the results, the penalties and the three red cards.

Leading Scorers:
3 - Michael Klobee
2 - Niam Washington

Official Chicanada Schedule
MD01- W 3-2 Tessan (Starburst Park, Spears Crossings)
MD02- W 4-2 Third England
MD03- T 0-0 The Archregimancy (New Governess Palace, Kinsington)
MD04- W 4-2 Milchama
MD05- W 3-2 Iaukea (Sacred Heart Terrace, Bishop)
MD06- T 1-1 Kaze Progressa
MD07- W 2-1 East Lithuania
MD08- W 2-1 Tessan
MD09- T 2-2 Third England (Mountainside Fairgrounds, Castille)
MD10- W 2-1 The Archregimancy
MD11- W 3-0 Milchama (TroutCo Field, Cana)
MD12- W 3-0 Iaukea
MD13- W 2-0 Kaze Progressa (Southampton National Square)
MD14- W 3-0 East Lithuania (Cananite Pavillion, Paradiso)
GS01- T 2-2 Total n Utter Insanity (Winton, Casari)
GS02- L 4-3 Squornshelous (Tyrellia, Casari)
GS03- L 6-2 Aridda (Ashford, Casari)

When the results of the worst Chicanadan loss in history stand (since we all know NSFA will not reverse the results or call for a rematch with less biased refereeing) Aridda will join Qutar, McPsychoville and Sarzonia as the breakers of the high seeds. So 12 out of the final 16 will be from the top 18 seeds. We'd act surprised but after the bullish actions taken against the side during the match (which hell, we did better against the #5 team? what nonsense) we're not.

See ya next year, where maybe better ref standards will prevent such awful matches.

(OOC: SHENANIGANS!)

Spaam

15-07-2006, 07:04

SPAAM SPORTS WEEKLY
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

SpaamTab Odds

Round of 16

Krytenia: $1.80
Squornshelous: $1.75

Starblaydia: $1.25
The Islands of Qutar: $3.10

Fmjphoenix: $1.40
Ariddia: $2.30 <-- Pick of the day!

Rejistania: $2.25
Liverpool England: $1.40

New Montreal States: $1.40
McPsychoville: $2.50

Audioslavia: $1.60
Sarzonia: $2.00

Schiavonia: $3.00
Bedistan: $1.25

Hockey Canadia: $1.75
Casari: $1.80 <-- Too close to call!

To Reach Finals

Bedistan: $4 <-- Too close to call!
Starblaydia: $4
Liverpool England: $5
New Montreal States: $6
Casari: $7
Fmjphoenix: $7
Hockey Canadia: $7
Audioslavia: $8 <-- Pick of the day!
Krytenia: $8
Squornshelous: $8
Rejistania: $10
Sarzonia: $12
McPsychoville: $19
Schiavonia: $19
Ariddia: $20
The Islands of Qutar: $25

To Win World Cup

Bedistan: $6 <-- Too close to call!
Starblaydia: $7
Liverpool England: $8
New Montreal States: $11 <-- Pick of the day!
Casari: $14
Hockey Canadia: $14
Fmjphoenix: $15
Squornshelous: $15
Krytenia: $16
Rejistania: $20
Sarzonia: $30
Schiavonia: $50
McPsychoville: $50
Ariddia: $60
The Islands of Qutar: $70
Audioslavia: $1000000

Quakmybush

15-07-2006, 12:59

Quakmybush Lose

Yesterday in World Cup action Quakmybush lost 3-0 to Andossa Se Mitrin Vega. This was expected as ASMW is ranked 23rd compared to Quakmybush's ranking of 85. The game started very slowly, with little happening until the 44th minute when Cory Sorley scored. However the goal was disallowed due to offsides. In the second half ASMV picked it up and started to lay a beating on Quakmybush. In the 60th minute Jenni Ulrich scored. And then in the 67th minute Ulrich scored again. Then, finally in the 78th minute, Ulrich scored again. Quakmybush was not expected to get points or even contend. All this was, was a confidence boost, Quakmybush is now ready, and will try to qualify for WC XXX.

Ariddia

15-07-2006, 13:56

Dazzling performance: Ariddia qualifies in first place

Ariddia and Chicanada met today at the City of Ashford Stadium, where the first ever Summer Olympic Games are soon to take place. The two teams are very closely matched in terms of ranking, with a slight advantage for Ariddia, one the Rouge-et-Noirs hoped to exploit.

Expectations of a friendly atmosphere were slightly marred when some Chicanadans in the stadium booed the ulek. “Nobody’s ever done that before,” Leduc said later, frowning. “It was very disrespectful.”

Nonetheless, the match began in a cheery enough atmosphere, both sides excitedly supporting their team, while a Krytenian referee officiated.

The Chicanadan players, knowing they absolutely had to win, started vigorously, and at first it seemed their efforts would be rewarded. Uroals opened the score in the seventeenth minute, then scored again in the twenty-ninth, and it looked as if Chicanada had the game well wrapped up.

But already the Chicanadans were beginning to slow their rhythm, showing signs of tiredness after pushing themselves too hard from the start. Coach Yerevan Malli’s tactics would soon begin to seem of questionable value, and the Ariddians, still looking fresh, began to come back into the game in force.

Not giving their fans time to worry too much, the Rouge-et-Noirs narrowed the gap in the thirty-second minute, thanks to Wol Eosh. In the thirty-fourth and thirty-eighth minutes, Ta I and Ismail Faraj took their country into an unexpected, stunningly quick lead. Meanwhile, the Chicanadans had to resort to committing an increasing number of fouls in an effort to stay in the game.

The second half was dominated by the Rouge-et-Noirs, as their tired, disorganised opponents almost seemed to have given up. Ul U made it 4-2 in the fifty-seventh minute. In the seventy-first, Ta I scored a surprising goal with the back of her foot, nudging the ball in without turning round after a strategically well-placed pass by Sanjeeb. The Ariddians in the crowd went wild.

Just for the beauty of the game, Ta I, playing her one hundred and sixth match for Ariddia today, put in a third goal in the eighty-second minute, making the final score 6-2.

Celebrations erupted spontaneously throughout Ariddia, and amongst Ariddian supporters in Casari. The final ranking in Group E was as clear as could be. Ariddia had taken the lead on goal deferential, qualifying in first place with seven points. Squornshelous was a very close second, also with seven points, while TnUI and Chicanada had only gained one point each.

What should have been a time for pure celebration, however, was marred with controversy. The Ariddian Football Association was shocked to hear that Chicanadan officials had registered a complaint against the referee.

“I suppose there are sore losers everywhere,” AFA President Anna Teals said. “This is absolutely ridiculous. There is no reason whatsoever why the referee would have been biased in our favour. Or is Chicanada suggesting that Ariddia, a moneyless country, perhaps bribed him?

The truth of the matter is, our players dominated that game from start to finish. The Chicanadan coach used very bad tactics, and he has only himself to blame. I’m also concerned about the lack of fair play exhibited by several Chicanadan players. They committed repeated fouls, and we have been considering asking that disciplinary action should be taken. But for the most part, the rantings of Mr. Malli and his friends are best ignored, I think.”

“It’s sad to see some Chicanadans behave like this, with such poor sportsmanship,” Ariddian coach Evgheny Melenciuc said. “Our team played superbly. The Chicanadans should congratulate us and concede defeat gracefully, as we would if the situation were reversed.”

Most surprising, however, was the report on the match in the Chicanadan media. Ariddians were astonished to hear accusations of diving levelled against Ariddian players.

“Ariddians do not dive,” Melenciuc said firmly. “Our team is renowned for its fair play. The replay clearly shows that the Chicanadans are talking rubbish. I know my players, and it would never even occur to any of them to dive, or simulate a foul in any way. We play clean.”

Even more astonishing were claims in the Chicanadan media that Ariddia had scored three goals on unjustified penalties – whereas in fact no penalty kick had been awarded to either side at any point during the match – and that five of Ariddia’s six goals should have been declared invalid!

“It’s laughable,” Melenciuc said. “And, I might add, it’s pathetic. Chicanadans should be trying to improve their own team’s play, instead of claiming they should have won when they were quite clearly dominated.”

He added, amused, “Their tabloids can’t even spell our country’s name right”.

Still, none of this spoiled the mood of celebration for Ariddians, who are partying even now to mark the momentous event. It is the first time since the glory days of World Cup 10 that Ariddia has reached the second round of the World Cup. The Rouge-et-Noirs have scored thirteen goals in three games, demonstrating an excellent offence capability, but they have also conceded eight, and Melenciuc has promised to work hard at improving the team’s defence.

Elsewhere, hosts Casari lost 0-3 on home ground to Tadjikistan, but nonetheless qualified top of Group H. Bedistan completed its flawless performance with a 3-0 victory over Oliverry. Rejistania was beaten 2-5 in an epic match against Starblaydia, but had already qualified after their second game.

There was one other match which Ariddians were following with interest: that between ASMV and Quakmybush. Both teams were already eliminated, but Ariddians were divided as to whom they should cheer for. Many backed ASMV, but a significant number opted to support the ultimate underdogs. Others still chose to cheer for both, and in the windows of some homes, the flags of both nations could be seen.

“I hope ASMV wins,” ASMV-based Ariddian player Aush Song said. “It’s like a second home to me. But I do hope Quakmybush scores at least one goal.”

In the end, Andossa Se Mitrin Vegan defeated their opponents by three goals to nil. Both sides will be going home with their heads held high, as they prepare for the next Cup in four years’ time. And Ariddia prepare for their second round match against Fmjphoenix. . .

Nedalia

15-07-2006, 16:05

The Nedalia Lions 2nd Round Preview

Krytenia vs. Squornshelous

The hosts had a relatively easy time getting through, gaining 7 points, with an impressive Matchday Three victory over Fmjphoenix. They’ve looked convincing in one of the tougher groups in the tournament, defeating Spaam and drawing with Bettia on MD2 and MD1, respectively. They’ve shown that they can score, hitting in 7 goals in those 3 games, but have also shown solid defense, if not spectacular, conceding 4 goals against very potent offensive squads.

They’ll have their hands full with Squornshelous, however; they also went 2-1-0, qualifying out of Group E, scoring 10 goals. They’re defense might not be the most impressive on display, conceding 7 goals, but the question remains; if they’re scoring over 3 goals a game, who cares? The hosts have been playing under control and very efficiently, but Squornshelous is a team that could be seen going all the way. It’s a terrific matchup, that should atleast 4 goals scored. Do not be surprised if it goes to penalties.

Starblaydia vs. Islands of Qutar

The Purple Army won all 3 games, scored 11 goals, conceded 3, and defeated Rejistania 4-2 in a highly impressive victory. Can they be stopped? It’s difficult to imagine so, especially when their frontline has been so lethal. Two of their conceded goals came against on of the top teams in the tournament, and even then, they put 4 goals past the defensive maestros.

If anyone is going to stop them, it wont be Islands of Qutar. They did well proving us wrong after we predicted they would crash and burn out of the group stages, but save from an impressive victory 4-1, over a resoundingly unmotivated Cataduanes team, they weren’t that impressive themselves. They haven’t featured the talent or the skill that is needed if a victory of Starblaydia is to happen, so we’re gonna say Starblaydia will win this one.

Fmjphoenix vs. Ariddia

They might have fallen infront of the hosts, but fact remains, Fmjphoenix were featured in two of the most entertaining games thus far in the tournament against Spaam and Bettia. This might not translate into victory in the 2nd round, however; the fact remains, their defense has looked sloppy at times, something that could prove their undoing, especially against Ariddia. What works to their advantage, however, is their consistent offense; they will find the net, that much is for certain, but their backline has to be ready.

That’s because Ariddia scored 13 goals (!) in Group E, and 6 in a highly, highly controversial match against Chicanada. Such offensive talent can put any team infront of them to waste, but there’s always a catch; in this case, 8 goals conceded. You might be able to get past the group stages letting so many goals into your net, but you definitely can’t expect to go far. They face the same problem their opponents do; the sloppiness in the back. This is going to be an offensive show for the ages, and we’re not even going to act like we know who’s going to win.

To be Continued...

Hockey Canada

15-07-2006, 19:16

Go HC

Krytenia

16-07-2006, 00:33

In honour of the 2-1 defeat of FMJPhoenix, a band aclling themselves "Aces Army" have rereleased the classic "Coffee Song", with a few tweaks.

"The Coffee Song (WC29 Remix)"

[OOC: To the tune of Ocean Colour Scene's "The Day We Caught The Train"]

You never thought that it would stray, back to FMJ
Clapping in the grandstands, chanting till our throats are sore
Blowing out my seat in the seconds that we score
Cos nil-nil draws are just a bore

Sitting in the stands, raising both hands, pints are just an hour away,
Looking at the pitch getting drunk on a football holiday.
You came down to drink our beer, and take home the cafetiere, that's what you say
Roll another, watch a thunder shot like Yanni saved the day we won the game.

Ooh Lala, Ooh Lala
Ooh Lala, Ooh Lala

We chug another pint of beer, you're not welcome here
Walking like Friday puffing on a pack of 10
Rolling on the floor when the Phoenix fans walked in
We'll miss the rush and we're home again.
Stepping through the door with a night in store munching on a takeaway,
Step into the room in the hotel feeling its a brighter day.

You came down to drink our beer, and take home the cafetiere, that's what you say
Roll another, watch a thunder shot like Yanni saved the day we won the game.

Ooh Lala, Ooh Lala
Ooh Lala, Ooh Lala

You and I should watch the match and cheer them on just like there's no tomorrow
Yeah you and I should watch the match and cheer them on just like there's no tomorrow

Ooh Lala, Ooh Lala
Ooh Lala, Ooh Lala

When you find the fans are going wild don't you need days like these
When you find the fans are going wild don't you need days like these
When you find the fans are going wild don't you need days like these

Schiavonia

16-07-2006, 01:37

"You're listening to Schia FM, and we've come to Krytenia for another edition of World Cup Sloths! I'm Mike Jones..."

"...and I'm Filipo Schiavone, and we're in Ousevale for the biggest game Schiavonia has seen for twelve years. Yes, if they beat Nedalia tonight, they go through. Lose, and they're out. Simple as that."

"Now, a friendly rivalry has been struck up between the fans in Group C. The people of Jeruselem and Nedalia have always been close, and being up against them in their current situation has bought the fans of NMS and Schiavonia who are here in Krytenia together. Both sides have to beat opposition that they are ranked marginally better than to advance or see their opponents go through at their expense. Everyone's fate is in their own hands, there's no need to keep flicking to see the NMS-Jeruselem score, because it doesn't affect us here. This is it."

"And who will be lining up for Schiavonia in this all-important encounter?"

"Same team as have started the last two games You can just reel the names off by heart now. Jack Holmes is our goalkeeper. Full-backs are Connor O'Faherty and Enrique Williams. Between them are the usual central defensive partnership of Oliver Park and Gareth Marsden. The midfield trio are Andy McGee, Kenny Sanderson and Eric Berry and the front three are Seamus Bradley, Jermaine Edwards and Tony Tarmey."

"Our opponents team probably doesn't roll off the tongue of our Schiavone listeners quite as easily, nut no doubt they'll know some of the names when they hear them."

"Of course. They'll be playing a standard 4-4-2 today. Their goalkeeper is Hard Dans, with Gradd Corona, Ben Turner, Mohammed Khadra and Hans Lamm as a defensive line in front of him. The midfield line are Nene, Trent Hardman, Innit Point and Constantine with Tim James and Jimmy Kelly as their strikers."

"Well, we are looking forward to a fantastic game that should be every bit the thriller that the prize at stake deserves..."

- - - - -

28 minuites

"Well, after hoping to get a game that would keep us on the edge of our seats, this has ended up being a midfield scrap with not much end product. Here's Bradley, who seems to be playing more withdrawn from the attack than usual, plays a ball forward aimlessly... Turner misjudges it! And Edwards is onto it in a flash, hits the post and the Nedalia Lions, especially Ben Turner, can breathe a huge sigh of relief!"

"It looked to me as if Dans got his fingertips to that one, Mike."

"Indeed, the replays we are seeing here in the press box show that he did. Great spot, Filipo. But the first real chance of the game, and hopefully it will act as a kick start for both teams as they try to break each other down."

- - - - -

Half-time

"...There goes the whistle for the break, and the story has been very much about Nedalia breaking up the Schiavone play in the middle of the park at every opportunity."

"Well, you do have to remember that they do only need the draw to go through. They are in pole position and all the onus is on the Sloths. They will be more than satisfied that they have, on the whole, kept Schiavonia at bay with ease."

- - - - -

73 minutes

"...the Nedalian players seem to be tiring now, and that was evident in Nene's pass there. They have been holding Schiavonia at bay all this time, and they look worn into the ground. Schiavonia are warming up Paolo Di Mascherenasi, but they won't get the chance to bring him on quite yet, as Holmes keeps the loose ball in play.... gently rolls it out to Marsden on the edge of the penalty box, then out wide to Williams... down the line to Sanderson, who runs over the ball, sends Constantine the wrong way and frees a bit of space up for himself, now he's running at the Nedalian defence... plays the ball over the top for Bradley, uses his strength against Turner, a couple of Nedalian hands go up saying to much, but the ball falls at the feet of TARMEEEYYY!!! IT'S IN!!! Tony Tarmey from Seamus Bradley's knock down, he got his toe to the ball ahead of Khadra and it was just out of Dans's reach, Schiavonia have the lead!!!"

- - - - -

89 minutes

"It's so tense, never tenser, could all go a bit Frank Spencer as Nedalia keep coming onto Schiavonia. Substitute Brando on the right hand side, lays it back to fellow sub Houdini, curling ball in, but Marsden should deal with it, pushed in the back by Tim James, he goes flying, should be a free kick for Schiavonia. NO! The Iansislian referee Mr Edgemoor has given a penalty for handball against Marsden! Unbelievable scenes here."

"It's as if he didn't see James' push on Marsden, but then what goes around comes around, and maybe you would say that Bradley was lucky to get away with his challenge on the Sloths' goal."

"You might well, but it has come down to this. Houdini looks like he's stepping up to take the kick, can Houdini create a great escape for Nedalia?"

"Actually, it looks like James is going to steal the ball off him and take it."

"Indeed he has done. So it will be Nedalia's all-time top scorer against Schiavonia's agile keeper. Who will be the hero and send their team through? James, casually strolls up to take it, IT'S SAVED! Holmes dives away to his left and keeps the ball out, and the referee blows for full-time, Schiavonia are through!"

"I don't think he has, you know..."

"Of course he has. He has to have. The ninety minutes are up!"

"He hasn't, Mike. He's talking to James and Holmes... he's telling Holmes that he had moved off his line."

"Indeed, Mr Edgemoor is. So, we are going to have to go through it all again. James against Holmes, Nedalia against Schiavonia, for a place in the knockout stages for the first time for their respective nations. James, strolls up again, HITS THE POST! But it rebounds straight to him and he puts it away with Holmes still on the floor after being sent the wrong way, and the referee blows his whistle, that must be full time now, and Nedalia are through."

"It's not, you know."

"It has to be. We've played nearly five extra minutes!"

"No. He's had two touches in succession. The rules say that if that happens, it is a free kick to the other team."

"Indeed they do. And indeed, the referee is explaining this to the players now. Schiavonia have a free kick, somehow after all this commotion they still lead, and the final whistle can only be a matter of seconds away. In fact, THERE IT IS! At last, Schiavonia have made it! Tim James' last minute penalty retake hit the post before he put the ball away illegally, and Schiavonia will go through to play the winner of Group G in the last sixteen of the World Cup. Can you believe it, Filipo? Just fourteen years after Schiavonia first kicked a ball in anger?... Sorry, but Filipo Schiavone is sat next to me crying for joy. I don't blame him. OK, so we'll probably get knocked out in the next round by Beditan, but who cares? This is a moment to savour, as another cheer arises from the Schiavone fans here at Denbigh Park as the score from Everton City of New Montreal States two, Jeruselem nil is read out. The two goal margin means that Schiavonia will probably get Bedistan next round, but as we said, they don't look as if they care right now."

"Can we play McPsychoville? We've only played them twice and we scored ten goals!"

"I'm afraid we can't just pick our opponents from who we'd like out of Group G, Filipo, they have to actually play the games first. Don't blame you, though. And the party will go on long into the night between the Schiavonia and NMS fans. The Schiavones will probably invite the Nedalia and Jeruselem fans along too, although whether they'll be in the mood for a party, we don't know. What we do know is that Schiavonia have made it through!"

Final score
Schiavonia 1 (Tarmey 78)
Nedalia 0

Jeruselem

16-07-2006, 05:52

Rachel : Hey, what's this? Oh, it's the JGN community announcments.
Producer: The regular girl is sick, so the folks at JGN thought you could do these
Rachel: But they're boring, and just after people find out Jeruselem and Nedalia crashed out of the World Cup. No one's going be listening.
Producer: Don't ask me, I only follow directions
Rachel: Water conservation, Islamic evening prayer times, Cathedral opening times. World Cup viewer don't want to hear this crap
Producer: Anyway, do these after you report on the World Cup
Rachel: The weather is more exciting than this
Producer: I know
Rachel: Can't they find anyone else to do this?
Producer: No one in office wanted to do it, so some idiot suggested you
Rachel: Why me, I'm supposed to report on football not do community announcements. There's no football in these either
Producer: Well, do something to make it exciting
Rachel: I suppose wearing a bright pink low-cut dress would do the trick, at least I'll get some attention
Producer: Anyone is better than the regular girl. She puts anyone to sleep, even kids
Rachel: I've got four more games to cover of World Cup 29. 2nd round to the final - everyone ignores community announcements during the World Cup
Producer: I think they'll listen if you do them. You make eating ice cream exciting for some
Rachel: Speaking of that, when's that ice cream ad with me it screening?
Producer: After the World Cup
Rachel: Good, good. My lawyer is talking to some cosmetics companies about possible ads so that will help
Producer: We're on half an hour
Rachel: Better get changed then

<15 minutes later>

Keanu Reeves: Yo hot Mamma
Rachel: Thanks Reanu, feeling better. You know you're going home. I have to stay until the World Cup final
Keanu Reeves: No really, but any World Cup with you is worth watching
Rachel: I know you like me, you're too slow. Anyway how's the new girlfriend?
Keanu Reeves: Good, good. Quality time with my girly after the world cup.
Rachel: Why does she look like me anyway?
Keanu Reeves: She's not really like you, but I'll settle for 2nd best
Harry: Hi guys. Why the hot pink Rachel?
Keanu Reeves: Because I'm here!
Harry: Very funny Keanu, let me guess Community announcements again
Rachel: Yes, them Community announcements
Harry: Here's the airline tickets so you can get to the Hockey Canada game
Rachel: Not coming?
Harry: No time, you know the usual go home without cup schedule. Say is that your pregancy kit I found by accident?
Rachel: No, no. Not mine, I bet it's Debbies
Harry: I wonder how she manages to have kids and play soccer?
Rachel: What about my turn?
Harry: Err, well. Not now, after the World Cup then.

Casari

16-07-2006, 06:32

Casaran Manager Vivica Hill spent a long night bitching people out, pleading, waking people up, and generally pissing off half of Casari in order to find someone who could get her what she wanted, but she did.

The quest to find the grave of Alan Belmore and steal his legs to attach to Nina fell through when noone could actually find out where the Belmore Family was.

Buying the legs of a good striker from a Schiavone organ farm fell through when they discovered that all the legs available were shits.

Stealing the legs of Jenji Y was scrapped when they found out that Jenji Y wasn't even dead yet. Plus he was only good when playing for 5 minutes, which isn't too good for a starter.

Cloning Alan Belmore and stealing the clone's legs was out. By the time the clone was old enough, Nina would be too old to play.

And the Pagans had a fit when Hill even mentioned rituals.

So it's with that that Thomas Moore showed up at the hospital the next morning. Hill greeted him with gusto and quickly pushed some doctors out of the way to take him into her room.

"Nina?"

"Damnit, Coach, don't you have some kind of match to practice for?"

"Har Har. This is Thomas Moore. He's got more degrees than I can count, and most of them are either in Medicine or Robotics. He flew in overnight to look at your case, you know. He thinks you have potential."

"What kind of potential?"

"Well, to walk again." Moore said quietly, grabbing the chart from the foot of a bed and looking at it.

The doctors had reformed in order to try and drive the intruders from the room. As they pressed in, a quiet stare from Hill kept them in the corner long enough for Nina to get talked into technology that seemed far too advanced to come from Casari. But Vivica Hill was not one to let "The Greatest Striker the Nation Will Ever See" end up in a bed without legs.

Even if she needed Bionic ones.

"She's not going to make that annoying nananananananana noise when she runs, will she?" Hill asked.

"Well, there might be a quiet whirring noise when the servos are working." Moore said, thinking.

"Better than having a set of squeaky wheels, though." Nina said, watching the doctors try to interrupt.

"Either way, kid, it looks like you're out for this run. But don't make me regret spending the whole damn budget on you again. I better see you in four years."

"Well, I'll try not to, Coach." Nina said, watching Hill force her way between doctors and out the door.

Hill stuck her head back in the door. "And for gods sake, just take the fucking team bus next time."

Rejistania

16-07-2006, 15:56

"Eric!" siad the voice over telephone after coach Eric Frankton muttered his name "Come here NOW!"

Eric Frankton was confused "Who are you?"

"Your boss!" Said the voice and eventually he realized that it was SyMji, who the voice belonged to.

"I Hurry!" he said "Sa ven!"

"Sa kix" replied the president of the ASR and hung up. He did not expect anyone to ask for his presence and therefore changed into nightclothes already. He quickly dressed and went to SyMji's room. He knocked with a very bad feeling.

"Come in!" So he did.

"Frankton'he... this match... why did we lose it?"

"Starblaydia was better than us, I guess, they had better chances, were technically better... and of course the injury of Mesit Inkil."

"So this 2:5 was in your opinion justified?"

"Well, in this situation, it was, if there wasn't this injury that early, Starblaydia could not have exploited the weakness on the left side that easily."

"You expected a loss?"

"I did. I did not want needless risks."

"Needless risks?"

"Well, second yellow cards for example."

"I see... you wanted the yellow card cleared for the 8th of a final?"

"For the round of 16, yes."

"You know the saying 'Jisu'il jetta'?"

"I do, I am no friend of it however."

"Well, the rejistanians are. You know, it's not as if this saying was caused by karela, it is the other way around: the fact that rejistanians did and do fear losses."

"Everyone does."

"Well, some accept some losses in strategically unimportant matches, some do not... ever!"

"I know this. I said before in interviews and I say it again: Kanvali'halen! I try this to become a meme against Imdila'he's conservatism!"

"You are clever, I note. the question is wether it is a good idea to try to impose change on these people who do not want it."

"You mean, revert to the old Karela? Jisu'il jet'ta! Lehiju'il jet'ta"?

"If you continue to play that risky, it is the only feasible option. Do you know how they call you? 'insolvency administrator of Rejistanian soccer'."

"I see..."

"I do not feel well about this situation... I am rather hetakian, however most of the nation felt insulted when you used the substitution to try a 3-4-3... this is why I called you here!"

"Right... I just thought it'd halen to score as many goals as possible when behind..."

"well, to keep the loss low might be also a tactic..."

"I guess I forgot to take into account the karelaness..."

"Rejistanianness rather than karelaness!"

"well, yeah..."

"I want you to promise me not to do something as foolish in the next match!"

"I promise!"

"Good! Do we have a chance?"

"Against the English, yeah, even though they are no walkover!"

"They have SyLy..."

"Yes, it's funny: Syku Lyku is chairman of the FALE, president of the ASR, striker and substitute... At least one Syku Lyku will be very happy!"

Frankton laughs.

Fmjphoenix

16-07-2006, 17:23

Coffee stays out of reach, Vikings move to face Ariddia

The coffee was not with the Vikings today. Even though the winner of the match would decide who would finish at the top of the group, everyone on the pitch was concerened with more than the finals. With the Golden Cafetiere on the line, both teams were going all out to bring it home. In the end though, the Aces were more thirsty for the coffee, as Krytenia won 2-1 to take the top of the group and retain the Golden Cafetiere.

Despite an early goal from Mike Nolan, his 26th of WC29, the Vikings could not add anymore to the goal as Yannick Nourisse did not allow anything past after the one goal. Jerome Jaffacake-Phillips was the one who struck for Krytenia, scoring both goals in the second half to earn the top spot of Group A.

Despite the loss, the Vikings were already qualified to the second round with two wins against Spaam and Bettia. Into the round of 16 we head. The next opponent for Fmjphoenix is now Ariddia. Despite having a good history against the Rouge-et-Noirs, Coach Wash wants his team to not get lazy.

"We may have beaten Ariddia before, but that was when they were returning to the World Cup after a long abscense. They have rapidy regained lots of form and respect in the footballing world and will be a team to reckon with. The fact that they finished atop their group is a testiment to their skill. This will be a great matchup."

World Cup 29 Qualification
------------------------------------------------------------
MD01: Fmjphoenix 5 - 1 Zychibastan
MD02: Fmjphoenix 4 - 2 Schiavonia
MD03: Vaum and Isma 0 - 3 Fmjphoenix
MD04: Fmjphoenix 8 - 1 Mr Chuck Norris
MD05: Northern Caesarea 1 - 1 Fmjphoenix
MD06: Risa-Aramour 2 - 1 Fmjphoenix
MD07: Warrior Treblah 1 - 5 Fmjphoenix
MD08: Zychibastan 0 - 4 Fmjphoenix
MD09: Schiavonia 3 - 2 Fmjphoenix
MD10: Fmjphoenix 0 - 1 Vaum and Isma
MD11: Mr Chuck Norris 2 - 3 Fmjphoenix
MD12: Fmjphoenix 2 - 0 Northern Caesarea
MD13: Fmjphoenix 6 - 1 Risa-Aramour
MD14: Fmjphoenix 2 - 0 Warrior Treblah
-----------------------Group-Stage-------------------------
MD15: Fmjphoenix 3 - 1 Spaam Country Ground, Dereapolis
MD16: Fmjphoenix 4 - 3 Bettia Denbigh Park, Ousevale
MD17: Fmjphoenix 1 - 2 Krytenia New City Stadium, Avidia
------------------------------------------------------------
Record: 10-1-3 | 54 - 21
------------------------------------------------------------
Goal Scorers:
M. Nolan - 26
J. Russell - 10
B. Dougood - 9
R. Silverlake - 4
S. Timmett - 3
A. Jenkins - 2

Bedistan

16-07-2006, 19:31

"So it's Schiavonia next, eh?"

"Yep." Migela Farnasa was just settling into her desk, morning coffee in hand. Farnasa was the Fillmore Motor Company's vice-president of public relations and an avid football fan. "Lucky break for us, really, a ticket straight into the quarters."

"I wouldn't be so sure," replied her colleague, Caroline Becker, vice-president of payroll.

"Why's that? Come on, it's Schiavonia."

"Exactly," Caroline countered. "It sounds much too easy, the players are going to totally underestimate them, and we're gonna get kicked out here."

"Nonsense."

"It's the truth and you know it. Think about it, we've reached the final in each of the last three Cups, winning two of them. Our guys and girls are confident, as well they should be, but I think they're a little too confident."

Migela rolled her eyes. "They just beat Oliverry three-nil. Trust me, they know what they're facing."

"Oliverry won every single match in qualifying, so of course they were seen as a threat. Schiavonia...well, let's face it, they're still seen as just a bunch of upstarts."

"All right, so just who do you think is going to win the Cup?"

Caroline closed the refrigerator, which she had just placed her lunch in. "I think the reign of the Big Three is over. No, Schiavonia won't go all the way, but I think another long-named nation starting with an S will."

"Starblaydia?"

"I just said not one of the Big Three, silly."

"Um...Squornshelous?" Migela looked perplexed.

"Bingo." Caroline cracked open a can of Pepsioli she had taken from the fridge. "Mark my words, their time has come."

"Sure, Caroline. I'll believe it when I see it."

The breakroom door swung open, and both Migela's and Caroline's jaws dropped. Caroline's near-full can of Pepsioli fell to the ground and began spewing all over the floor.

"So who's ready to celebrate?" asked the woman who had entered the room. Her entire body was painted blue and green to match the design of the Bedistani flag (albeit rather elongated, as she was 5'8" tall and 125 pounds). Possibly the more shocking thing, though, was the fact that the entirety of the painting was visible.

"Uh...Louise?"

"Oh, you like the paint?" She smiled sweetly. Louise Montgomery, age 24, was one of the actresses Fillmore used in its commercials. "I got a special dispensation from the president to let me bend the dress code for the occasion."

"Bend?" asked Caroline. "More like absolute ignore, seeing as you're...well, not dressed...at all."

"Well, you can't really see anything because of the paint," said Louise.

"It should really attract the boys to the match party, though, huh?"

Louise blushed, though this wasn't easily discernable with none of her skin visible. "Well, come on, the pregame show starts in ten minutes!"

Migela looked at the clock. "It starts at nine AM? The match isn't for another six hours!"

"Yeah, well, they go into a lot of detail! Come on, let's go!"

Louise led the two VPs out of the room, shaking their heads and muttering under their breath how crazy this girl was.

Schiavonia

16-07-2006, 19:52

"You're listening to Schia FM, and we're in Casari for a mini-edition of World Cup Sloths! I'm Mike Jones..."

"...and I'm Filipo Schiavone, and we've been welcomed by the Schiavone supporters who have been here for days. We only arrived here in Winton last night, but the atmosphere here is... well, it's what we've come to expect from Schiavonia's fans."

"Indeed it is, Filipo. We are here, of course, because of the Sloths' fantastic victory over Nedalia back in Krytenia last week. No flying bikes involved this time due to the Schiavone experiences with them on our last major journey, so we've not had to pedal our way across Atlantian Oceania. Now we're here... well, everyone is just going to try to enjoy their day here. Some of the Schiavone fans have even told us that they hope that the game this afternoon isn't too tense in case it gets in the way of the Schiavone partying, although I don't ever recall any game doing that before."

"Well, we've never seen Schiavonia in the last sixteen of a World Cup before, so maybe you can understand a few nerves creeping in. But remember, we are playing Bedistan, a team who once couldn't win a semi-final for love nor money, but now have a habit of not only reaching them, but winning them too."

"Well, the semi-finals are two games away, 180 minutes for Bedistan, and a team of the Sloths level should really be easy pickings for them. But Schiavonia have beaten supposedly better teams unexpectedly on many occassions before. Teams like Rejistania and Liverpool England in their first two qualifying runs and cups, while victories against Fmjphoenix and Jeruselem have given us more recent reminders that these results can happen, although we still haven't seen anything on this scale. Anyway, we're off to join the party, so we'll see you all this afternoon for..."

"Uh, we can't actually see the viewers, Mike. We're on the radio. They can here us, and we can't do anything that we can sense."

"Will you shut up?"

"I was just saying..."

"Anyway, join us later, now it's PARTY!!!"

Rejistania

16-07-2006, 20:14

Nina Leir's hospital room was dark, the moon did not shine into it and the only light came from one switch, by which one can call help in an emergency. Nina herself was sleeping as suddenly a faint blue light appeared in the room. A sound became audible, as if leafs are shaken by the wind. As it became louder, the source of light slowly morphed into a human form. When the wind-sound reminded of a storm, Nina woke up and stared at this in horror. suddenly, everything was quiet and a figure stepped out of the light. Nina tried to reach for the emergency-button, but the figure murmurred something and it seemed to move out of her reach.

"Hello, am I correct, that you are Nina from the family Lair and the city of Tyir?" the voice of the person was dark and hardly audible.

"Yes..." she replied

"I am Priest Nanex from the temple of Hetkali... It is always a bad thing if horrible accidents like these happen to national players, especially if they could be cured easily but aren't."

"What exactly are you getting at?"

"I am here to propose an offer from the System Karelan temple. They had to send a rejistanian since even magic can not get through this embargo of Casari against karelan things... The temple of Karela can restore your leg via higher karelan magic." the karelan explains. He seems to be a bit... not really here if looking at him.

"And what would you want from me?"

"Since we are monks and not interested in wealth, the price we ask is not money... Please see it as an act of karelan charity... But of course we hope that the limitations of the karelan magic will help the teams you play for to... improve...."

Nina seemed not to like this: "and what particular limitations would those be? I'll trip over the ball when not on my own half of the field?"

The priest's voice indicated that he was smiling as he answered even though his face could not be seen "Even though this is a good idea, we do accept that the position of the striker has its justification... therefore the limitations are not as harsh... Since the only way a karelan team can honorfully win is 1:0, you will be unable to score more often than once in a match and since conceding is as unkarelan as it can be, it will be impossible for you to score if your team conceded more than 2 goals... if you somehow do use counter-magic or hypnosis to bypass this limitations the temple will take measures..."

Nina thought for a moment. "Well, what's stopping me from going to the Takilans and becoming the greatest striker ever?"

The priest chuckled: "The magic of System Takil is so low that it did not even stop their nation from ceasing, and the magic which stops a nation from ceasing is basic."

"There are robotics experts that say I'm a prime candidate. I could kick the ball through the freaking goalie with one of those. Why would I resort to magic?"

"Oh, simple: the human brain would need very long to get used to a robotic interface, you would need to start from learning to walk again. And first need to forget anything on how you used your leg before..." he pauses "Also you know that there are more than 10,000 bugs in the word processor you use... they are inevitable in programming and design, you would one of these bugs to kick in in the match depending on the league title? Another reason is that it would need constant maintenance and seeing the speed of technological progress, the parts would not be available in 3 years anymore. While in this way, the magic and the normal bodily processes are the bugfixes"

"Well... I'm just not sure. It's a hard choice to make, you know. I need some time."

The tone of the voice changed subtly: "The temple can give you some time to decide... seeing how this decision is very difficult." The priest went towards her and put something on her bedside table. "This is the contract with the Temple of Karela... if you will have decided in our favor, sign and go to the next temple of Karela with it. They are all magically connected and so you will be sent to Divensirsk, where the ceremony will take place."

Nina nodded slowly. "Alright. Thank you for the offer."

"If we wouldn't, how could we say that we adhere to the rules of our religion." he said mysteriously. "May your family always be safe!" and then he turned around and went into the light again. As he went into it, the light suddenly became more and more faint and eventually disappeared.

Casari

16-07-2006, 21:20

Krytenian teams are hereby cut the off.

Krytenia

16-07-2006, 21:21

Playing in Casari?

I just cut you off, right there.

Ariddia

16-07-2006, 23:53

Ariddia fails to score

Amazing things do happen. Unfortunately, today the surprise was Ariddia failing to score a single goal against Fmjphoenix, despite having totalled an impressive thirteen goals in the three previous games.

The two countries met in Lerain Fields in Casari, for their fourth encounter in modern times. Ariddia’s record against Fmjphoenix was enough to make supporters worried: three losses, four goals conceded, and only one scored. All of which only made the Rouge-et-Noirs even more eager to reverse the trend.

It did not start too badly. A corner kick in the seventeenth minute almost saw Fmjphoenix open the score, as Silverlake intercepted the ball with her head and angled it towards the top right corner of Leduc’s goalcage. An almost unstoppable shot, which the forty-year old captain stopped nonetheless, deflecting it with one hand towards James Fields, who passed to Sanjeeb, who cleared it back into Fmjphoenix’s side.

Ariddian supporters breathed a sigh of relief. Their team’s defences were holding.

In the thirty-fifth minute, however, Mike Nolan finally did score the opening goal for Fmjphoenix, confirming his team’s domination of the match to that point. That lead was cemented in the forty-third minute by Andrew Jenkins, and Fmjphoenix had a 2-0 lead by half-time.

The Rouge-et-Noirs stepped up their attack in the second half. They played much better, and their defence now proved as impenetrable as that of their opponent, but Fmjphoenix had the game under control and was not going allow any Ariddian to spoil its expected victory. The closest the Rouge-et-Noirs came was a free kick taken by Ta I – for her 107th and final game with the national team – which skimmed just over the bar.

“The result was a fair one,” coach Evgheny Melenciuc said. “Our team played well, but Fmjphoenix are still better. We’re ranked 25th, we made it into the top 16; that’s not bad.”

Elsewhere, the hosts both advanced, as did world number one Bedistan. Audioslavia and Rejistania squeaked by, defeating Sarzonia and Liverpool England respectively on penalty kicks.

While the world’s best go on to the quarter finals, the Rouge-et-Noirs will be going home, proud of their performance nonetheless. Several players will now be retiring, including team captain Sandrine Leduc, and Ta I. Meanwhile, others will be joining foreign clubs and playing abroad until the next World Cup. An announcement is expected soon regarding Ariddian player transfers.

New Montreal States

17-07-2006, 04:02

William Branstone stared into space, twirling a pencil. He leaned back on his chair in the office of the visitors locker room and thought.

It had been 20 years since he'd gotten run out of Audioslavia on a rail after attempting a coaching coup d'etat against Vilitian Helmut Vilkaos. Twenty years after being ridden out of town on a rail. Twenty years after taking a post at some nation that hadn't been great in about a century after their coach went on a postgame shooting rampage.

Boy, had the tables ever turned. Five world cups. Four outright qualifications, and one hosting gig on top. He was batting 1.000, perfect record, sixth in the world, still looking up. And a good 12 years or so to enjoy the spoils.

But now he had people to show up. Lessons to teach. He would turn the Bulls into steers, and laugh it up all the way to the Finals. He'd show them all who's who.

PALADINS 2 - H. Labranche 4, F. Labranche 49
MCPSYCHOVILLE - Brooks 19

TOURNAMENT SCORING

Villeneuve 8
H. Labranche 7
Faulkner 5
Toussaint 4
Corcoran 3
F. Labranche 2
Pilon 2
Tessier 2
Crèvecoeur 1
Darcy 1
Hunyadi 1
Plattsburgh 1
St-Édouard 1
Vaillancourt 1

Bedistan

17-07-2006, 21:08

http://bellsouthpwp.net/h/a/harleyt_1387/bsd_banner.png

Business as usual

All the talk of Schiavonia potentially upsetting Bedistan in the second round of this World Cup was apparently just that - talk. After a very straightforward 3-0 Lions victory, Bedistan moves on to the quarterfinals once again, now preparing to face host nation Casari.

"Oh, there's certainly going to be pressure on us," commented left winger Felipa Alansa. "For one, it's the host nation. For another, we already have a standing rivalry what with the IAFL and all. Especially with us playing in Tyrellia, where they have two clubs there, City and International, so a lot of the fans should know me pretty well, at least!" Alansa plays her club football for Carter FC, who played along with both Tyrellian clubs in the Fire Conference of the IAFL in its fifth season.

Newly-appointed Bedistan Football Association president Nick Reagan has informed team manager Kenter Surf that he still stood by the expectations outlined when the Cup began - "the team is to reach the final, no excuses." Surf will of course be hoping his offense continues to deliver like it has throughout the Cup so far, scoring three goals in each of its four matches.

Starblaydia

17-07-2006, 23:13

Title Defence On Track
Starblaydi winning streak continues

Paul Noble is on-course to become the most-capped Starblaydi player of all time - that is, of course, assuming he manages to play in the Quarter-Final, Semi-Final and subsequent ranking match. 89 caps so far, with the record of Zhorin Tumunzahar set at 91. At thirty-one years of age, Noble is unlikely to play in another international tournament and the Starblaydi Captain, who bagged a hat-trick in a famous 5-2 win over Rejistania in the Group Stage, knows it:

"Age is certainly starting to catch up with me," he said yesterday, "those knocks ache for just that little bit longer with each passing season. This is my fourth World Cup, every one since World Cup 26, and I think I can bow out at the highest level - kissing that trophy just before I lift it on behalf of my nation."

One of the many defending World Champions in the side, Noble's presence on the pitch is what Starblaydia is all about. Industry, skill and desire. Even the Nedalian press have been hanging the 'greatest team in the Universe' title on Starblaydia recently and all signs point to Starblaydia being ranked as the number-one side in the world come the end of the tournament. What price Starblaydia being three-time champions, third on the all-time list of World Champions behind only four-timers Rejistania and three-timers Bedistan. Note also that Starblaydia's two Cups have come in Finals against those two legendary participants of the game. Were it not for the men in purple and white, Rejistania would have five and Bedistan four, including a 'threepeat' of 26, 27 and 28.

Look around and see Paul Noble, Jackie Maitland, Durum Rage, Pedro Rujano, Tabitha Di Bradini and all the rest. It's no longer 'just like watching Brazillico':

It's just like watching Starblaydia.

Nedalia

18-07-2006, 01:24

The Nedalia Lions Quarter-Final Preview:

Krytenia vs. Starblaydia

This could potentially be the match of the tournament; there is just so much happening here. For one, anyone who knows anything about Atlantian Oceania affairs (that’s probably not a lot of people) will know that the Kryties recently left the Starblaydi-led SAAS and jumped over to the SDL, the two major political rivals of the AO. To make matters worse, Krytenia also placed an embargo on all Starblaydi goods, as well as banning Starblaydis from traveling into the country. Politics aside, they’re just two fantastic football teams.

The co-host defeated one of the most impressive teams in the tournament in Squornshelous, showcasing solid all-around play in their 2-1 victory. They haven’t looked awe-inspiring in any of their games, but they’ve looked nothing but solid. However, solid is probably not going to do the job against the Purple Army, who easily disposed of The Islands of Qutar 3-0, hardly looking like they needed to get out of 2nd gear. In fact, they’ve looked that way the entire qualifying campaign as well as the in the group stages of the WC29.

It’s a rare occasion that sees a talented team such as Krytenia become underdogs for a victory in their very own country, but the Purple Army is about as ruthless a football team as one will find. Our SDL brethrens are going to have a tough time trying to accomplish what they’ve set out to do, and we wish them all the luck in the world, because they’re going to need it against what could be the finest squad in existence today.

New Montreal States vs. Audioslavia

They barely got out of Group C, and just nearly looked like they were going to lose against an unfancied, but well-supported, McPsychoville team, and yet here they are, in the Quarter-Finals, two games away from lifting the title. They were one of the favorites before the tournament, then became one of the least fancied teams during, and now people are starting to believe again. The fact of the matter is, the New Montreal States team knows how to win big games, and they’ve proved it over and over. They hardly come any bigger than this.

Audioslavia is on a mission. If they told you they were focusing on one game at a time, then they’re lying. There has never, in the history of the World Cup, been a team more deserving of lifting the cup but, as of yet, has not done so. They didn’t do their case any favors after going to penalty kicks against an inconsistent Sarzonian side, before finally finishing the deal.

Despite that marathon game, Audioslavia seem focused, and they seem intent. Not many offered them much of a chance (check the Spaamian bookie odds), but for some reason, we believe in them here in Nedalia. We believe they can pull off this Quarter-Final victory, and advance into the Semi-Finals. One game at a time, but eye on that final prize.

Fmjphoenix vs. Rejistania

As predicted, the offensive talent of Fmjphoenix proved too much for Ariddia to handle. The best offensive team in the group stages couldn’t find one goal against the AOians, who played with extreme efficieny and preciseness. We’re convinced enough by this team to say that on their best day, only Starblaydia and Bedistan have any chance of beating them. They’ve quietly gone by their business, advancing to the Quarter-Finals without breaking a sweat, seemingly. They might have lost that game to Krytenia, but by then they had already qualified out of Group A, and they seem to be doing just fine now.

One of the teams deemed most likely to crash out of the group stages, Rejistania has officially placed our feet in our mouths (is that how the saying goes?). They held Liverpool England, incidentally enough of the favorites, to a 0-0 draw for 120 minutes and finally defeated them on penalties. So now they are in the Quarter-Finals, much further than most expected them to go. Does it stop here?

According to us, yes. Fmjphoenix has the making of a championship team; at worst, Semi-Finalists. Their defense has shown the ability to do what its supposed to, and they’re offense is at no loss when it comes to knowing how to score goals. Just too strong for Rejistania to deal with, and they’ll see them off, we predict, in only 90 minutes.

Bedistan vs. Casari

If there is any team that is going to put the Purple Army to rest, it has to be Bedistan. Think of Starblaydia as the big, evil demonlord who has his eyes set on conquering the world, and the burden of stopping him rest solely on the grand, noble lion-lord cousin. Schiavonia found out the hard way just how good Bedistan is, falling 3-0 in the most one-sided display in the 2nd round. There really isn’t much else to comment on; the country to our northeast is a footballing giant, and losing doesn’t appear to be anywhere near its vocabulary (unless its in the AOCAF, muahaha).

The co-hosts victory of Hockey Canada was impressive in its own right, but our SDL mates in HC just didn’t seem to have it in them to get far in the tournament. Its no shame, ofcourse, as the ASPIRE (ew) founding member is a fantastic football team in its own right. A very well rounded team, very well managed, and very talented on the field.

But it all ends against Bedistan. Simply put, the Grand Dominion is just that; grand. They are also the number one ranked football team for a reason. And finally, they have a date with destiny; namely, with Starblaydia. Its meant to happen. Don’t blame it on better football, blame it on fate.

Casari

18-07-2006, 03:18

Hill stood in the front of the heavily used meeting room, leaning against a markerboard in some old team shirt she had dug out of the closet from her playing days.

"So, what are we doing here, Viv?" Livingston said, sitting down and watching her, taking a sip from a cup of coffee.

"We're going over our team strategy." She said, grabbing an overhead screen and pulling it down. "Someone run the computer, we're having a powerpoint presentation."

"Oh god." someone said from the back of the room.

"Don't you 'Oh god' me. Next." Hill said, picking up a pointer. "Now, the first thing we need to look at this analogy," she said, smacking the pointer against the screen. "Hockey Canada Match is to Driving to work as Bedistan Match is to Juggling 6 chainsaws while standing on the back of a tractor-trailer and limboing underneath overpasses."

"A very apt analogy." Scoir said, yawning.

"Cram it, brownnoser. Next. Now, when we play Bedistan, we need to remember a few things. First, is that the weakest point of any male Bedistani player is going to be the groin. Now, if you're given the oppertunity, and say, the ref isn't watching-"

"You're telling us to hit their players in the balls." Elsise said with a hint of terror.

"Well, I'm telling you that in the oppertunity arises, take advantage of it." Hill replied.

"What about the women? They lack certain parts." Lemurry said from his seat next to Elsise.

"Well, being women, they will be weak and defenseless. Therefore, all you need to do is push them out of the way." Hill said. "Is everyone clear?"

A group of stunned faces were her only reply.

"Okay. Next. If we've learned one thing from 324 club matches, it's that Bedistanis are short. I want you to use this to verbally mock them at every oppertunity."

"Is this a soccer match or a schoolyard brawl?" Anna Eri said, leaning against the wall in the back of the room.

"Our strategy will involve elements of both." Hill said seriously.

"The same way this meeting involves elements of total bullshit and you being on crack?" Nermier said from his spot next to Eri.

"Similarly, yes." Hill said, nodding. "In all seriousness, we're not going to change a thing. Of course, a good crack to the balls in a certain situation to break the game wide open wouldn't be frowned upon."

A few chuckles came from the assembled players.

"Either way now, don't be afraid to draw some cards, too. If we lose, it won't matter, and if we win, we'll worry about it then. Don't let them push you around. Especally because you'll probably all be towering over them. And keep it light, we don't want to stiffen up in our first Quarterfinal."

The players nodded and began to get up to wander out.

"And one last thing, you guys. Pick your deity and pray for some rain, will you? We need any edge we can get."

-------

"Damnit, KC, this was a stupid idea. I should stab you in the face for having it." Rick said, setting a Bass Guitar in the case and sitting in a chair.

"Calm down, Rick. You're going to drop a kidney." Lucas said, twirling a drumstick in his hand behind him.

"Yeah, we did fine. Just leave it to fate." KC said confidently as he played with his guitar.

"Excuse me, KC?" someone wearing sunglasses said, walking towards the band.

"Um, that's me." KC said, squirming in the seat.

"We'd like to hear you again. Can you make it to Tyrellia by Wednesday?"

"Um... sure."

"Thanks. We're looking forward to hearing you play again."

Rick jumped up. "Ha, I knew we would do it!"

"Oh, shut the hell up."

Fmjphoenix

18-07-2006, 05:27

Vikings overpoer Ariddia, evade Terminators for third quarterfinal matchup

After a tough hard battle with a tenacious Ariddian side, all of the Vikings were glued to the TV as they watched Rejistania and Liverpool England get ready to take penalty kicks. When the Rejistanian keeper caught the final attempt from Liverpool England nearly the entire locker room breathed a sigh of relief when they knew that they would be going into the quarter-finals for the first time and not have to face the Terminators.

"I can say that this will be a great chance to go into the quater-finals against another team. Plus, playing against Rejistania, its a chance to defeat a team that has always opposed us." Brian Dougood commented on the result.

With the offensive threat of Mike Nolan, Brian Dougood and Jack Russell, they have no problems scoring goals. What is going to set the tone for Fmjphoenix is how well the defenders keep the Orange-Blues from hastling Justin Keys. With everyone on the team clicking at the right time, they are primed and ready to go against a major rival. Leaving Leyton behind, the Vikings move on to Memorial Stadium in Tyrellia, where Rejistania awaits.

World Cup 29 Qualification
------------------------------------------------------------
MD01: Fmjphoenix 5 - 1 Zychibastan
MD02: Fmjphoenix 4 - 2 Schiavonia
MD03: Vaum and Isma 0 - 3 Fmjphoenix
MD04: Fmjphoenix 8 - 1 Mr Chuck Norris
MD05: Northern Caesarea 1 - 1 Fmjphoenix
MD06: Risa-Aramour 2 - 1 Fmjphoenix
MD07: Warrior Treblah 1 - 5 Fmjphoenix
MD08: Zychibastan 0 - 4 Fmjphoenix
MD09: Schiavonia 3 - 2 Fmjphoenix
MD10: Fmjphoenix 0 - 1 Vaum and Isma
MD11: Mr Chuck Norris 2 - 3 Fmjphoenix
MD12: Fmjphoenix 2 - 0 Northern Caesarea
MD13: Fmjphoenix 6 - 1 Risa-Aramour
MD14: Fmjphoenix 2 - 0 Warrior Treblah
---------------Group-Stage-in-Krytenia--------------------
MD15: Fmjphoenix 3 - 1 Spaam Country Ground, Dereapolis
MD16: Fmjphoenix 4 - 3 Bettia Denbigh Park, Ousevale
MD17: Fmjphoenix 1 - 2 Krytenia New City Stadium, Avidia
---------------Second-Round-in-Casari---------------------
SR: Fmjphoenix 2 - 0 Ariddia Lerain Fields, Leyton
---------------Quarter-Final-in-Casari----------------------
QF: Fmjphoenix ? - ? Rejistania White Memorial Stadium, Tyrellia
-----------------------------------------------------------
Record: 10-1-3 | 56 - 21
-----------------------------------------------------------
Goal Scorers:
M. Nolan - 27
J. Russell - 10
B. Dougood - 9
R. Silverlake - 4
S. Timmett - 3
A. Jenkins - 3

Rejistania

18-07-2006, 12:36

The return of the Karela?

Fans feared or hoped for the return of the nearly invincible defense, when they read that Frankton'he officially declared his experiment with 3-4-3 a total and utter failure and that he plans to emphasize on defense some more. However Frankton's "emphasis on defense" is something, rejistanians would not consider as such. The tactical orders wher not as takilan as they were in the Starblaydia match, however it was not even a real 5-3-2. Liverpool England played a 4-4-2 formation.

The Englishmen had several chances but were unable to capitalize even a single one of them since the Orange-Blues's defense worked quite well. The Orange-Blues tried their best to get chances, but with the pressing of Liverpool England, it did not work well. the best chances of the Orange-Blues were at the end of the match when some of the older Liverpoolish players lacked the stamina. During Extra time, the Orange-Blues eventually did manage to score, however the referee decided not to allow the goal due to an offside position of Syku Lyku Desnike'tes.

As both regular and Extra time ended scoreless, the match was decided in penalty kicks. Karela Ikaru was the first one to shoot, but unfortunately, her ball only hit the post. The Liverpool English goalkeeper Adam Carrero was the next one to shoot, Jeri Kis could not react correctly. the Orange-Blues were trailing. The next person, Frankton'he chose was Xtesa Kiru. in pubs all over Rejistania, people cursed upon hearing this, but the TAHAI!an proved to be not a bad choice: he coolly put the ball past goalie Carrero'he. Luis Sunderland was the next choice for the English. The forward has quite a record of penalties scored, but Jeri Kis prevented this number to rise. The score was even at 1:1. Syku Lyku Sikane'tes and Nicholas Thompson both raised the score for their respective teams. After 3 penalty kicks for each team, the score was 2:2. Syku Lyku Desnike'tes looked insecure and shot too early but when the penalty kick was repeated, the KaMaRian shot the ball so, that it reflected from the left post into the goal. Jeri Kis could not parry Arthur Hairston's shot. The score was 3:3. Vaka Iuliana shot his penalty Hockey Canadian (which means without running a few steps before it) - and the ball went in. The score was 4:3 for Rejistania Adam Tsai drove the ball hard to the corner but couldn't get it past a stretched out Jeri Kis. The rejistanis won the match and advanced into the quarterfinals. The next few hours, Rejistania dissolved into one big celebration.

Krytenia

18-07-2006, 18:04

All Set For Titanic Encounter

It seemed almost destined to happen as soon as the draw was made. Krytenia face Starblaydia in a potitical, footballing, and social clash of the Calanian titans. These ties are mouthwatering at any point, but with the bad blood boiling between President Domasca and Lady Viannor, this tie could hit the roof.

On paper, Starblaydia are reigning champions and look nigh-on to invincible. However, there are several factors that could swing the balance.

1. Several thousand Starblaydi fans are on their way home as the Krytenian embargo takes effect. The stadium is expected to be awash with sky blue as the home fans pour in.

2. The creak of old bones. The Starblaydis, once again, have won the World Cup with a team at their peak - and it's all downhill from here.

3. Home advantage. Krytenia have it; Starblaydia don't.

One thing is for sure though. The blue (and mauve) touchpaper has been lit; stand well back.

Starblaydia

18-07-2006, 19:32

On paper, Starblaydia are reigning champions and look nigh-on to invincible. However, there are several factors that could swing the balance.

1. Several thousand Starblaydi fans are on their way home as the Krytenian embargo takes effect. The stadium is expected to be awash with sky blue as the home fans pour in.

2. The creak of old bones. The Starblaydis, once again, have won the World Cup with a team at their peak - and it's all downhill from here.

3. Home advantage. Krytenia have it; Starblaydia don't.

Chronicle on Tour Exile Special
Jhanna's finest daily kicked out of Krytenia

Washington, Bedistan: Leaving a Krytenian airport to the deafening chant of "All Krytie bastards, you know you're all Krytie bastards...", this reporter feels obliged to point out that the way to deal with those possessing a head shaped like a toilet bowl designed with a set square - Krytenians, for the uneducated - is not to sink to their level and start breaking heads, kicking shins and biting groins. The way to go is to simply be better than them.

Which, for Starblaydia, isn't hard.

By way of some kind of pre-victory retort to certain Krytie media outlets, let me point out the following:

1) Starblaydia have won the World Cup.

2) Twice.

3) Recently. Like 4 years ago recently.

4) i) Average age of World Cup 28 Squad: 26.1 years
4) ii) Average age of World Cup 29 Squad: 26.7 years

So, as the strains of "Fifty years, you've won f**k-all" reach my ears through this departure lounge in Bedistan, I thank the sporting powers-that-be that Starblaydia aren't playing a difficult team, or one which has actually won something in the past. Like Hypocria. Eep.

Starblaydia

19-07-2006, 01:09

Injustice, thy face is Casaran and Krytie
Krytenian Embassy firebombed as Starblaydia lose

Whether all the members of the Krytenian diplomatic staff were kicked out of the country before the aftermath of this match is an issue on which this reporter doesn't particularly care. The Krytenian embassy in Jhanna, however, was burnt to the ground by an angry mob in the early hours of this morning in response to the biggest act of malice ever handed out to a Starblaydi football team.

Though police, KERES and firefighters on the scene stood idly by, only making sure the chaos and damage didn't spread to any neighbouring buildings, such as those of nations we wouldn't like to be turned into smouldering rubble. On to the football side of things, however, where events quickly took a turn for the worst. Starblaydia's white-and-purple was pretty much completely absent from Mercia Stadium, judging by the TV pictures we saw. Judging by the Casaran referee, fair play also seemed to be completely absent. Witness the very first tackle, for instance.

The first tackle in a football match is almost more about psychology than whether you get the ball or not. It's the challenge that says "Hello, you're in trouble for ninety minutes", it's the first test of the referee and how he'll react to things, it tests everything about the competition of a football match. So when your defensive midfield anchor executes a tenacious tackle on his opposite number and receives a yellow card within 30 seconds of the kick-off, you know something is wrong.

When that same player is viciously fouled from behind - accompanied by the creschendo of a baying all-home crowd - and no punishment other than a grudging free-kick and a 'calm down' gesture, you know something is terribly, terribly wrong. Jean-Christophe Wood-Collins did look pleased with himself, though.

Starblaydia already knew what they were up against in their opponents, the crowd and the referee: something that can rarely be overcome. The feeling immediately went around the team and staff that they were going to be cheated out of the Cup. But Paul Noble took a hold of his team and rallied them under the initial assault as the Aces put fast, pacy, one-touch football together, laying Starblaydia's penalty area to seige in the opening minutes.

When Starblaydia had their first shot, a hopeful toe-poke from Johan Keifner which squeezed just wide past the flailing hand of Yannick Nourisse, the crowd responded like the Aces had won the cup. Domasaca's insane foreign policy decision seemed to be working in her favour. The only purple in the stands, in fact, was worn by Krytenian fans in their new Away kits.

They were silenced, momentarily, when Durum Rage put the ball in the back of the net. The goal was ruled out, though, for an adjudged foul on Andy Snelders that the referee saw but the cameras didn't, even on the super-slo-mo up-close-and-personal he-breathed-in-my-general-direction, honest-ref! cam.

Time and again Starblaydia were thwarted. Whenever they did manage to halt the momentum given to Krytenia by the officials, they were brought up for minor, even non-existant infringements. Jackie Maitland was audible in her scream after being given - unjustly - offisde for the seventh time in the half. A booking shortly followed for dissent.

Finally, somehow, Starblaydia scored and the referee agreed. They did everything perfect, without any possible way of giving away a free kick. No Krytenian was touched, let alone fouled, the ball didn't cross any line other than the plain of the goal, and no-one, anywhere, was even close to being offside when Jackie Maitland fired past Nourisse in the thirty-seventh minute. The referee obviously wasn't having any of that nonsense, though, sending Pedro Rujano to the stands for... well... we're not quite sure, really. The TV replay looked like he was given his second yellow for being elbowed in the face by Tejai. Whether that has been entered into the list of rules is beyond this reporter, but nonetheless Starblaydia were down to ten as the first half ended.

It wasn't going to get any better.

New Montreal States

20-07-2006, 00:53

Okay, right now New Montreal is in flames as the traditional riots turn very, very mad, (and I'm on vacation), so very little discernable news is available. However, we do have three sure facts:

1) Of all the possible outcomes people were expecting, a 4-0 rout was most definetly not among them.

2) At least Star got sent packing as well, so we don't feel that bad, either.

3) That Audioslavian turncoat William Branstone is getting the sack. Seeing as he's wisely decided to defect back to his home country, we won't be able to shoot him, but rest assured we'd like to.

PALADINS 0
AUDIOSLAVIA 4 - It makes us sad.

Casari

20-07-2006, 04:24

Mike Triari's dad wasn't able to come through with Quarterfinal tickets, sadly. What are the odds that the guy and his wife would get back together before the final? Either way, the powers-that-be in the household decided that what might be the final Casaran finals match to be played in Casari (depending on popular opinion, of course) would be a decent time for something of a family-gathering nature.

All the Uncles and Aunts from around the city dragged themselves in before kickoff, while Mikey's dad was showing off the spanking new giant High Definition TV to the jealous relatives.

"If we don't get to go and see the blood, this should be the next best thing, Eh?"

Eh indeed.

The pre-match show was naturally full of hype and nerves, as Eddie Brisari looked like he was about to drop a brick in his pants at seeing Bedistan in person for once. Which was odd, because he's seen most of the players individually in god-only-knows (324) club matches. Andy Ronalo, however, instead of getting into the witty banter that he and Brisari never seemed to be able to avoid, was showing the same detached blank stare that had always preceeded his best efforts on the field. There were nerves for everyone, particularly the vocal home fans in Red-and-Black, bouncing up and down in the stands, screaming, chanting, taunting the comparable group of Green-White-and-Blue clad Bedistanis who had taken the 99 Selari flights in the state-of-the-art propjets of Gold Star Airways out to the island.

Over this, Brisari was trying to lay down enough commentary for 2 people as the Television Feed flipped through clips of both Managers talking to their teams in the locker room. The usual stuff. "Blah blah don't play the kits they're just people you can do this blah blah we're the best team in the world huzzah ok let's go." Who knows why they even show those shots anyway, they're always the same, and none of the players are interested.

"The teams are coming out of the tunnel now- the Bedistanis clearly focused towards their goal. The Casaran team seem much more nervous, and rightly so, at this point, I'd think, wouldn't you, Andy?"

"I'm going to get some chips." Mike's dad said, sighing. "Someone yell when they kick off."

Eddie continued on screen, shutting up for the national anthem before starting again once the teams took the field.

"The Tigers will be in the Red and Black tonight, playing from left to right across your TV screen. The Lions in White and Green, going from right to left. Casari's lined up in the 3-1-2-1-3 tonight, as usual, facing Bedistan in another long formation title, 3-4-1-2. Livingston and Elsise are in the circle for the faceoff, Scoir out behind. Salas and Wilson standing a few steps off the circle on the other side, appear to be looking to make a quick start tonight... and Livingston kicks off."

Mikey was quickly treated to 42 minutes of the sheer joy of having one's bowels clamped shut in the face of your team being thuroughly smacked about. At one point, Ronalo commented that Scoir was the Casaran side's most effective defensemen, as Livingston kept marching about, challenging for cleared balls at every oppertunity but usually being a generally useless pile of flesh.

Then, of course, there was the 43rd minute.

"Livingston has a step or two on the defender on this one, and some support with Elsise on the other side."

"That's a hell of a move there, Eddie, he turns the corner on the defender and gets some time for the rest of the offense to get back to offense."

"Now he's looking for help and passes back to Scoir, who's advancing through the empty field. He slows as a defender comes up to challenge, and lobs it forward to Elsise, who's on a Diagional into the box, cuts back in front of the defender, shoots for the far corner... Issah gets a hand on it, but it's not enough!"

"I can't even grasp the physics that made that ball go in, Eddie. It had to have had an absolute insane amount of spin on it to go in."

"As we look at the replays, it looks more and more like Issah got less and less of a hand on it with each new angle."

"Well, in a bizzare twist, after being run around like mad by the Bedistanis for almost all of the first half, the score is one to nil the other direction, and the Casaran players are finally trying to untangle themselves from each other to retake their positions."

Halftime was a mess of replays and match reports coming in from Krytenia, where the magic was already in full effect- the Aces had taken the Purple Menace to extra time with a one-one tie, the half drunk crowd was already dizzy with anticipation from the second half of their own match, someone attempted to streak but tripped over the signage at the edge of the field and fell flat on their face, and concession stands in sections 214-236 were running out of food.

On top of that, someone down the street was laying on their car horn like there was no tomorrow.

"The teams are reentering for the second half now, and the Casaran side looks like they can barely contain themselves at the thought of winning. At the same time, Bedistan looks, well... I don't think I could put it any other way than pissed."

"I think pissed is the proper term, Eddie."

The game then turned into a battle of wills, as Casari was determined to not give up the lead, and was clearly prepared to do whatever necessary to do so. The first Yellow went to Will Seirori in the 68th minute, who made a nasty slide tackle 35 yards out. He jumped up and took the card, but the manager Hill had already had something in mind- the next throw in, Seirori was off to be replaced by Hill's trusted on-field commander taking the field for his Fifth consecutive cup, Javis LeMurry.

"LeMurry's barely on the field, and already he's yelling, Andy. You played with him in a number of matches, was he always this loud?"

"Aye, he always fancied the spot as the team cheerleader. We'd be passing it around in the penalty box on the other side of the field, and you'd hear Javis from behind, screaming and the like."

"He also did a specatular job shutting down those teams as well, Andy, a reason why we're seeing him tonight."

LeMurry quickly picked up the night's second yellow, quickly followed by the third and fourth on Samson and Delia. The crowd continued to cheer every tackle, the crowd noise only breaking when the scoreboard went dark at the top of the stadium. The words "PRIORITY SCORE ALERT" quickly replaced them, which then gave way to a roar from most of the crowd, showing the co-hosts second goal of the night.

From then, the match slowly began to turn. Elsise made her exit in the 73rd minute in favor of the fresh Kyle Reimar. 10 minutes later, Reimar earned his first assist, putting the ball through the Bedistani penalty box to Scoir, who promptly placed it in the back of the net once again. Scoir left the game immediately after, in favor of Terry Isar, a 2-cup Vet Center-back from Queenstown.

The last 7 minutes were a bit of a daze for Mikey after that. He snapped back to the action when the final whistle blew and watched the team fly off the bench and pile up in the middle of the field, the celebration being joined by the fans who dared to jump the signage and run.

"Alright, Michael, it's time for you to go to bed." his mom said, looking down at him. "Enough excitement for one day."

Go to bed? How the hell was he going to do that?

Rejistania

20-07-2006, 08:04

XI: "Hejida, this is Radio RejisCAST, transmitting live from Casari tani, Tyrellia kali. I am Xiaelu Ijah and you are listeninh to "Live from the Leak~hes, World Cup Edition". Of course, today, the match, we will be followinh most intensively will be Rejistania versus FMJPhoenix. In Casari for us is Hana Kansu. Hejida Hana!
HK: Hejida Xiaelu, Hejida listeners!
XI: We did already collect a high numher of guesses, Can you maybe also try to predict the outcome of the match?
HK: I can, however since my pendulum is broken, it might lack the accuracy. I think it will be 3:2 for FMJphoenix.
XI: That is a very takilan guess.
HK: There is no karelan team involved in this match.
XI: You are right with this: Rejistania currently plays as if they stood in front of a va'takil for several days.
HK: Indeed. We can say much about Frankton'he but not that he is a coward!
XI: Indeed. If this experiment would have failed, he would have died within an hour.
HK: Yeah, crowd-assisted suicide, that would have been..
XI: Indeed. Let's look at the formations, shall we?
HK: Yes. The FMJphoenicians decided for a takilan 3-4-3 formation. In goal is: Justin Keys, the defenders are: Kayla Mik'ala, Brian Bash and Brian Sado. In the midfield there is: Laura Boyd, Desmond Howard, the young talent Ridley Silverlake and Andrew Jenkins. The strikers are: Roger Milla, err I mean, Mike Nolan, Brian Dougood and Selphie Timmett.
XI: Many women are playing for the FMJPhoenicians.
HK: Maybe they expect the match to go into Extra Time*!
XI: Maybe. Now for the lineup of the Orange-Blues: Jeri Kis in goal; Defenders Xuan Itera, Ka~nsu Hana~o, Karela Ikaru and Manatha~e Hihtaka~o. The rejistanian midfield consists of Vaka Iuliana, Inkil Kalatilu, Xura Kameril and Mata Jisu. The forwards are Syku Lyku Sikane'tes and Seiru I Hetaki.
HK: Ka~nsu Hana~o in the starting formation? What is Frankton'he thinking?
XI: That he needs someone to blame for the failure of experiment Imdila.
HK: I suspect that as well.

{the match starts}
HK: the match has just started, the Phoenicians with the kick-off,... we can say that this match is the second test against teams, which are said to be better. The first one was Starblaydia, who dispatched the Orange-Blues 5:2. I hope this one will not be as highly.
XI: Indeed.

{15th minute}

HK: The Phoenicians still in possession of the ball, Timmett'he against Iuliana'he, ... against Ikaru'he... this did not look quite okay, but referee Charlie Nguyen doesn't react... he is in good position... {load noises are heard} Jeri Kis could not reach that shot, the score is 1:0 for FMJphoenix.
XI: This is starting well!
HK: It is not undeserved in this situation since the Phoenicians are surely the better team at this early stage of the match.
XI: We can here only hope, the match does not end as high as it seems at the moment.
HK: a bit more optimism please!

{24th minute}
HK: Mata Jisu here apparently does not see someone to pass to and he simply decides to try scoring himself. Mik'ala clears desperately, corner kick for Rejistania. Xura Kameril shoots the corner kick, Silverlake'he attempts to clear, Kameril'he reaches the ball, and... XXXXXXXXXKKKOOOOOOOORRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THAT'S THE EQUALIZER!!!!

{halftime}
HK: this is the end of the first half. To quickly summarize the match: the score is 1:1, the Orange-Blues at first did not come into the match well, but then began to improve and even equalized. Despite this, the Phoenicians had more and better chances in this half.
XI: Chances however count a rat's fart - the goals decide and there, the score is levelled.
HK: Right, the best player in this half was maybe Karela Ikaru, who cleared often.
XI: Yeah, it was a good decision to nominate the Vaje~nni again, even though most of the media did not agree with that.
HK: like yourself?
XI: Did I?
HK: I think you did, yeah.
XI: Okay, then I eat my words and say the opposite, Ikaru'he is surely a good player now and there was a good reason why Seletarakeledira Hanselijimijile chose him.

{47th minute}
HK: The Phoenicians made some substitutions in half time, this pays off, seeing that they now get into the match better. Now, Brian Dougood in possession of the ball, trying to ... oh dear, that was brutal. Manatha~e Hihtaka~o used a foul to stop this attack. The referee decides to award a free kick and... does this mean yellow? It would be the second yellow card for Manatha~e Hihtaka~o, yes it is, which means, he will miss either the semifinal or the next qualification match. Manatha~e makes the well-known three gestures** in the direction of the fans, which is surely either a sign of sitadi or he did not realize what it means. Timmett'he will shoot the free kick, He does now, Nolan'he heads the ball in direction of the goal.... {a beep is heard}. FMJphoenix is leading 2:1

{64th minute}
HK: The Orange-Blues again try to attack. If there is one thing, Frankton'he and "maniac" have achieved it's that they made the teams think a trailing is not the end of the match and that it IS possible then to come back and to score more often. I think The Hexatux would have concentrated on keeping the score as low as possible. The Orange-Blues still in possession of the ball, I Hetaki'he here wins the duel against Brian Bash, no, now, he is attacked from two side,s desperation-pass to... yeah, to Syku Lyku Desnike'tes. He passes to Hsene Ea~ejin Bash'he tries to steal the ball from him, but he is sovereign here, Ea~ejil'he shoots, Keys'he can hold the ball, no he can not, the ball reflects into the game and Ea~ejil'he is there again! XXXXXXXXKKKKOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

{90+2th minute}
HK: This will go into extra time, I guess, the Orange-Blues start one last desperate attack, Syku Lyku DEsnike'tes in good position, but he instead passes to I Hetaki'he. I Hetaki'he tries it, AND THE BALL IS IN! REJISTANIA IS IN THE SEMIFINAL!!!

OOC:
* Rejistani cultural reference: Woman are said to have more stamina than men
** these gestures are the sign language way to express "'halen'ta" meaning "I don't care".

Krytenia

20-07-2006, 19:38

"Here we are then, on towards penalties, mere seconds left in this thrilling quarter final. Krytenia one, Starblaydia one, one minute of stoppages. Tejai now - skips the tackle - bears down on the area."

"Wasted, Gary."

"Yes, but straight at Wood-Collins - finds Friday now - into Tejai, surely offside - "

"Flag's down"

"Tejai, one on one, can he win it? No - YES! YES! YEEEEEES! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!"

"Good stop by the keeper but Tejai manages to get on the end of the parry and scuff it home!"

"Well, David, let's have a look at the replay here: oh, he's MILES offside! The linesman missed it completely, and there will be hell to pay on the streets of Jhanna! Starblaydia kick off, and that's the final whistle! Krytenia are in the semi-finals!"

Bedistan

20-07-2006, 20:04

It was of course no surprise when Bedistan manager Kenter Surf received a phone call immediately following the conclusion of the Casari match informing him that he was now unemployed. Still, his 19 years managing the Lions had been quite good, including two World Cup final victories.

But there was only one thing for the fans to do now. Get over it, cheer on everyone except Rejistania, and try again next time.

Casari

22-07-2006, 17:43

KC walked out on the permenant stage built on one end of Tyrellian Ylompic Stadium and whistled. 120,000 seats looked a lot bigger when you were sitting in the middle of them.

"Damn." Ken said, looking around. "We're going to look like fools."

"Karma wouldn't let us look like fools." Lucas said, looking at Ken. "Well... maybe you. But the rest of us are good."

"THANK YOU LUCAS FOR THAT REASSURING STATEMENT." Ken yelled out at the stands, listening to the echo come back. "Very musically active stadium, too."

"Well, thanks for your full-on musical analysis of the stadium." Aaron said, wheeling half of his drum set out on stage. "And thanks for the hand too, asses."

"You know what happened last time Rick tried to move one of your drums."

"Oh yeah, he busted a damn hole in it. That's why he doesn't get to carry any now." Aaron said, walking off.

A small herd of technicians moving towards them marked the end of free talking time, as they began laying cables all over the stage and began hooking them up. "You know, we should take these guys everywhere. Would make things a lot easier."

A nearby technician gave him a look and shook his head.

"Damn, these people are no fun today." KC said, taking out a guitar. "I suppose there's nothing left to do but practice like madmen."

---

Outside, Mikey Triari was in a car, riding through Revolution Square outside the stadium, looking at the giant video screen on the side of the stadium aiming out at the Square.

NEXT MATCH:
WORLD CUP TWENTY-NINE
22 JULY: FINAL
AUDIOSLAVIA
v
CASARI
SOLD OUT

"Man, imagine how much tickets must be going for." Mikey's dad said from the front seat.

"Five Thousand Selaris?"

"Something like that, I'm sure." His dad said before coughing. "Or, we could check the tickets."

Mikey coughed for a second. "What? You have tickets? You've been holding out on me!"

"No, I don't have tickets." His dad said. "But where do you think we're going?"

Mikey coughed again.

Casari

25-07-2006, 05:31

Mikey's dad was going to hell. Pure and simple. Starting a rumor that her husband was cheating on the one lady with the tickets again was a horrible thing, breaking up their marrage which was on the mend.

The fact that he really was cheating on her probably mattered in a cosmic fashion, though.

Mikey's second trip to Tyrellian Ylompic Stadium was in a much different atmosphere than the first. The first time was a joyous celebration of a victory that was all but certain. This trip, everyone looked so tense that if they were to go to the restroom, they'd drop a kidney.

The seats were as hard and plasticy as last time, the food smelt the same, the cries of "Wanker!" and "We'll see you all outside!" coming from the North Stands carried the same level of conviction, but the whole atmosphere was different.

The opponent tonight- Audioslavia. Now, of course, everyone had heard the rumors and stories (most of them before Casari's time on the international soccer scene) that the 'slaves were Snakebit, they would never win the final, Casari had it in the bag, blah blah blah. In reality, it was a bit harder to swallow.

Mikey hoped idley that the batteries in the Radio wouldn't die until after the match, as it would suck a bit to have to replace them in the stands, but what happens, happens, after all.

He turned it on when the players were walking out of the tunnel, the roar of the crowd drowning out the radio.

"...ari's chances, being at home, have to be a bit inflated, but does it really matter, Andy?"

"Oh, I'm sure it does. A partisan crowd can throw a team out of whack for the whole match. And on a night like this, where a crowd will need barely any incentive to make some noise, you're going to see something really special."

"This is all because of the team's exceptional performance against Bedistan two matches ago, a match that- in all honesty- Casari would have lost had they not gotten a stellar performance in goal and a lucky goal at the end of the first half. But tonight, everyone is looking ahead. We have 90 minutes of soccer until the next World Cup Champion is crowned."

-----

The game was 6-0 at halftime. Well, on World Cup Football 29 it was.

"Man, this game is easy." KC said, yawning. "How long until we go on?"

"Five minutes." A stadium offical said, looking kind of nervous.

"Great, let's get going." KC said, jumping over the back of a couch stuck in a dressing room.

"How can you not be nervous." Rick said, looking like he was about to spew.

"Because. If we were going to suck, we wouldn't be here." KC said, grabbing his guitar and walking through the tunnel as the others scrambled behind him to get it together.

They were at the door when the whistle ending the scoreless first half and the players dragged themselves off the pitch. Then someone gave them the signal and they walked out onto stage. They had just gotten into position when the light went on. Four of them froze, but KC was good onder pressure. Looking at the crowd, he snickered to himself and grabbed a microphone.

"Well, those rich bastards decided to flake out on all you good people, because Four Million Selaris isn't enough to play halftime at a World Cup Final." KC stopped and nodded as the boos rained down from the stands. "Hey, we're with you good people. They can all go to hell! But since they weren't going to be here tonight, we thought we'd come out and play a little something to for you. We've had a lot of names in the past, and will probably have some more, but tonight." KC said, looking back at his bandmates for a second. "We're KC and the World Cup Band."

-----

"And as the minutes wind down here at Ylompic, the fans are getting louder and louder, the sustained chanting which filled most of the evening is turning into more of a rolling collective yell, the Casaran side up 2 to 1 now in the 89th minute of the match, trying to hold onto the ball and turn away attacks. The 90th minute now, 2 minutes of stoppage time coming, and Casari clears past midfield. Scoir is challenging for the ball weakly, but lets it go... Audioslavia still looking for routes to get the ball into the box and take a shot at goal, but their success is limited against the strengthened Casaran Defense... the team's dropped back to something resembling a 5-4-1 now, just looking to keep the lead they have right now... the ball goes up the right side of the field, intercepted by Nelson, and cleared back out... and the Ref's blown the whistle! It's over, Casari's won it!"

"I can't believe what I've just seen, Eddie. It's been as much luck as skill, but luck is what you need to break it wide open."

"The Audioslavian players look stunned as the Casaran players dogpile on each other at their own penalty spot. In just Twenty years, Hill's done more than some others complete in their lifetime, and taken Casari to the golden land. Casari, the home team, in front of the home fans, are your newest World Champions."

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