World Cup 28 RP Thread [Archive] - Page 3

Sarzonia

11-05-2006, 14:04

Woodstock Daily Mail

Starry, starry night

by Ryan Calvin
Daily Mail Staff Writer

MILCHAMA, 11 May 2006 -- The first time these teams met in the World Cup XXVIII qualifying round, Milchama had the run of play in the first half, only to watch the Stars rally to win the match by a goal in front of a heavily partisan crowd at Bryan Marshall Stadium in Woodstock. For the second match between these two pacesetters in Milchama, the Stars controlled the entire match but only had midfielder Jenna Raven's 16th minute tally to show on the scoreboard.

However, that was enough for goalkeeper Roger Treadway, who made four saves, including two point blank bids, and Sarzonia wrapped up the Group 11 title with a 1-0 win that restores some momentum to a team that had lost a qualifying match for the first time since World Cup XXVI. The Stars (8-3-1) finish with 27 points and await the result of the World Cup draw and updated rankings.

"The rankings at the midway point mean very little," said Coach Dave Wilson. "You know that. We found that out the hard way. We moved up a spot [from fourth to third] after World Cup XXVII qualifying and you saw what happened. This isn't the end of it by any stretch. It's only the beginning."

The beginning of this match on hostile ground couldn't have been much better for the Stars as they looked to rebound from a 2-0 loss to Giant Zucchini. The team controlled the ball from the opening kickoff and by the 15 minute mark had already poured six shots on goal. Raven broke through on the team's seventh with a chip shot that just eluded the leap of goalkeeper Clay Finton.

"I just decided to give it a try," Raven said. "We'd been trying to get [Finton] horizontal and he's had cat-like reflexes in both matches. The lofted ball was something cheeky but it worked."

Sarzonia continued to apply pressure from that point on, but no other players tried to lob the ball past Finton, who ended up with nine saves. Sarzonia outshot Milchama 24 to 11, including 10 shots on goal to Milchama's four. The team also dominated possession by a count of 61 minutes to 29 and seemed to spend all day in Milchama's end of the pitch.

"They're an excellent team," Finton said. "There's no doubt about that."

"Milchama has the potential to be a great rivalry for us," midfielder Jarret Sanderson said. "They're going to be a factor in the years to come."

Jeruselem

11-05-2006, 14:04

* Weird theme song *

Rachel "This is Rachel Goldstein for JGN at the World Cup 28, I'm with coach for day Harry Kool and the entire Jeruselem fan club around here."

Harry "Morning everyone"

Fans "We love you Harry!"

Rachel "Well, Jeruselem made it, just. Jeruselem took on the already qualified sea dragons and won a nail biting one nil win. This shut out the other teams but hell, it was so close. If we lost, we would have been in trouble and dependent on the result of the other games"

Harry "The team worked hard and the Sea Dragons don't make life easy whenever we play them. Tough but fair game, and we did it. To sweeten things, we topped Group 7 on goal difference again. This team is getting the experience it needs to fight it out in the final 32, the hard way"

Rachel "Well, if we had lost - we would qualified in 2nd spot. Becquerelia beat Kericia three two, and on goal difference - Jeruselem's massive advantage over Becquerelia in goal difference would have saved us. But we won and under pressure, the team came through. Boudra-Boudra beat Rorysville two one in the other game."

Fans "Harry for Prime Minister!"

Rachel "They love you, Harry"

Harry "I know, but Mr X is back as coach. I've done my bit for the team"

Rachel "Lions fans. Your team is in the top 32. Oh yes, Nedalia beat Collonie two nil to finally seal their spot, 2nd to the insane team. Nedalia finished on 24 points like Jeruselem and poor old Chicanada missed out. Yes, Lions fans should back their team more now. We want to see you in the 2nd round. Hockey Canada beat the Kazoo peoples two nil and topped their group with ease."

Giant Zucchini

11-05-2006, 14:13

Dear diary,

Well today was kinda fun, I let those guys who didn't have a chance to play have a run out today, and even though we got beat it was kinda expected. We still played well though, and those young kids who played today do have potential, and hopefully they can improve within the next 4 years and be the core of the national side I'm building for the next few World Cups to come. Hopefully they can do a good job and maybe get us qualified in a few World Cups. Ah well, I guess my World Cup journey ends here, hopefully we can achieve something in the Cup of Harmony.

D

Qazox

11-05-2006, 14:17

Qazox CIty Herald

The Black Oxen finished their World Cup Qualifacation run yesterday by beating Legalese 2-1. Goals were scored by Marie Goya in the 16th minute and the game winner was scored by Maria Gretsky in the 84th minute to give Qazox 3rd place in their group. As the Islands of Qutar lost to Audioslavia 1-0, Qazox finished 2 points short of qualifaction. Which begs the question which loss probably cost Qazox a spot in the cup? We asked 1400 Qazians after the match today and ignoring the 2 losses to Audioslavia, here's the results:

Loss @ Islands of Qutar- 595 votes (42.5%)
Loss vs. The Remote Islands- 409 votes (29.21%)
Loss vs. Anastasiania- 395 votes (28.21%)
What's the World Cup?- 1 vote (0.007%)

Also Anastasiania won its final match 1-0 against Zorinia to sneak by Legalese for 4th place.

Here's the final standings in Group 5 (bold qualified for cup)
GROUP 5 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Audioslavia 12 11 0 1 28 6 22 33
Isls of Qutar 12 6 3 3 14 8 6 21
Qazox 12 6 1 5 17 15 2 19
Anastasiania 12 4 3 5 13 17 -4 15
Legalese 12 4 3 5 9 15 -6 15
Zorinia 12 2 2 8 10 19 -9 8
Remote Islands 12 2 2 8 8 18 -10 8

Up next for the Black Oxen is a return visit to the Cup of Harmony in which hopefully Qazox can advance to the knockout stages.

(ooc: I'll start work on the NSwiki tonight and should have it done.. provided the Wiki don't F*** up as usual. If the Group draws are done for the Cup proper as well I'll throw them in also)

McPsychoville

11-05-2006, 15:13

A Game of Twelve Games

The scene was set. The Psychos went to Kelse knowing that only a win would do. If Schiavonia beat Oliverry, that was it - game over for the Psychos. But Schiavonia had to face the group leaders, in great form, while Kelse was misfiring badly. Could it be true? In only the third World Cup, could the Psychos break out of the group stages?

Could they ever. Today, not even the Curse of the Early Goal could strike as within thirty minutes, the Psychos opened and closed the game, ignoring Kelse's goal altogether. It was an inspiring performance, one that prompted a fan to remark 'Not even God himself could have stopped them.' Mysteriously, the same fan was seen to be struck by a bolt of lightning not long after - stranger still considering there were no clouds in the sky.

It may have been scrappy, it may have taken all twelve games, but the Psychos have qualified.

The World Cup is about to get nasty.

Tynelia

11-05-2006, 15:17

<footage plays from the stadium before the match begins>

"This is Bill Watson your play by play man for Tynelian Soccer weekly. The Lowland Calns have already taking the field and now we're waiting for the home team to come out of the tunnel. And there thye are. Despite failing to qualify our keepers have played tremendously, first Amy Whiteworth and these last two matches Vladimar Malloy. Hmm this is odd, rather than going to the sidelines the team is lining up on either side of the tunnel, starters on one side and reserves on the other. They seem to be waiting for something."

<PA announcer is begins to speak over the loudspeakers>

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is with the greatest of pleasure that i announce one addtional member of the Tynelian squad who is here today. Let's everyone put their hands together and welcome back... COACH GREG TUDOR!!!"

<Watson takes over>
"I don;t beleive it! This is incredible but there he is, sitting next to interm Coach Marcus O'Meara who's driving the cart onto the field,. Listen to that tremendous explosion of noise as these fans here and even the Lowland Clans players on their side of the field are applauding Coach Tudor's return! Doctors said he wouldn;t be back to full strength for a few more weeks but here he is back with the team. He's waving to the crowd and chatting to the players as he goes by and you can tell even his British reserve seems to be cracking at this show of warmth and respect by our fans.

"The players are now following the cart over to the sidelines and it looks like Coach Tudor will be standing with the team in their final match for this World Cup. He's just shaken Coach O'Meara's hand and has grabbed a clipboard as O'Meara goes over to give the team their final instructions as the crowd is still cheering Coach Tudor. This surely must be one of the most emotional moments in Tynelian sporting history and you've seen it life here. If this doesn't inspire the team to finish on a good note nothing will!"

Tynelia Finishes Cup Run With Win

In a result that has still has every Tynelian soccer expert scratching their heads, Tynelia completed its second Cup run with a 2-0 win over the Lowland Clans which also helped eliminate them as well. This finishes a second half that saw Tynelia go 0-0-3 against the three teams ranked below them and 2-1-0 against the three above them. Some claim the emotional surprise return of Coach Greg Tudor to the sidelines even in a limited role, helped the team step it up for this finale as they equaled their biggest goal total of the tournament.

Jay Masterson and Adrian Pytte came through with the goals for the home team and they finished up with a +1 goal differential. Had they been able to take care of things against the teams below them they would have had more than the 17 points they ended up with and could very well have qualified. But no one expected them to do so well this time against the top three either so it balances out.

The most important thing the team can some away with is that for the first time they stepped up against the top squads and proved both to themselves and the rest of the world that Tynelia can play with the top teams now. Wins against the 18th, 24th and 42nd ranked teams in the world along with a draw against the 24th ranked Turori proves the top squads can;t come to play us and expect to win by showing up. Hopefully this will carry on to the next Cup and the elusive qualification will finally happen. Up next? Most likely the Cup of Harmony.

Kaze Progressa

11-05-2006, 15:38

OOC: This RP assumes the final set of matches were played on a Wednesday night, akin to European qualification for the World Cup (and indeed for European Championships).

On Wednesday night's Progressan edition of <i>Wheel of Fortune</i> the bonus round puzzle faced by Arista Vajiro had the category NATION. The default letters (R, S, T, L, N and E) left this:

___S___R _
F__ST___S

Arista chose B, C, L and A and was left with this:

ALAS_A_R _
F__ST_C_S

Arista quickly solved ALASDAIR I FROSTICUS. The host, Atapa Jaask, opened the envelope to reveal... K100,000! Added to the massive K45,500 won in the main game, Arista had become the show's biggest ever winner.

Immediately afterwards, Kaze Progressa lost 1-0 in Dance 2 Revolution to hand the latter a World Cup berth.

The Progressan Morning Times, a centre-right newspaper who have been placing huge pressure on the Government to cut taxes of late, had a picture of Arista with his K145,500 cheque filling almost their entire front page on Thursday below the headline, in small text: 'This country only cares about winning'.

The paper sold a record 6.1m copies, 75% up on an average day, while the Daily Kangaroo - which led on the football with the headline 'THE DREAM COLLAPSES' - sold just 5.6m copies, 25% down on an average day and the first time it had been outsold by any of its rivals in six years.

The Progressan Morning Times had proven its own point.

-------------

In the other Progressan game shows, Deal or No Deal produced wins of K25,000 on Wednesday and K11,600 on Thursday, both players making profits on cases worth K100 and K500 respectively; Nurajie Avmaro has become the Superwoman of Estimate with two wins in a row worth over K52,000 and potentially more to come; and Mert Vorexap is the current Jeopardy! champ with two wins totalling K30,999.

Rordia

11-05-2006, 16:12

RORDIA - DESTINATION NMS
Part 12: We've Failed!

Rordia are out of World Cup 28 after a 2-2 draw at home to Bedistan.
The Rordians defeated the world's top team in their away fixture earlier in the qualifying campaign, but they couldn't manage a repeat. But they did come close. Tim Brick scored in the 6th and 49th minutes to put the Rordians 2-0 up, but then Bedistan struck their first goal straight after Brick's second.
Rordia were leading 2-1, and if it stayed like that, they would still be in contention. But it then all went wrong. In the 68th minute, debutant Aleks Bonarev scored an own goal to bring the scores level. Rordia got a penalty in the 80th minute, but Freddie Monaghan, who had just recovered from injury, blasted it wide. When the final whistle blew, the Rordians had to come to terms with failure. But hey, there's always next time.
Rordia manager Neil van der Wal said: "It's a great shame that we haven't qualified. But we put up a good fight, and maybe next time, we can make it to our first World Cup.
"We've also gone unbeaten against Bedistan - the best team in the world. That is a massive feat, and we can definitely expect to do well next time."

OTHER RESULTS:
Hypocria 1 Anathematic Republics 1
Virginia Nova 0 Nebuleux 1

LINE-UP: O'Leary; Craig, Robertson (Underwood), Bonarev, Davidson; Mirren, Vance, van der Wal (Badger), Parkinson; Brick, Monaghan. Booked: Vance, Brick, Davidson, Bonarev.

NOTE: The match report on Rordia's match against Anathematic Republics will be online tomorrow.

Tadjikistan

11-05-2006, 16:40

Tigers turn Spruitland upside down

Spruitland - Qualification was already ensured earlier and except for the honour and maybe a better KPB ranking, there was little to gain in for the teams in Spruitland - Tadjikistan. Unless you are Alexander Zaev, coach of the Tadjik national team, who tried to erase the embarrasing defeat against the Georgonians at the end of the WC27 qualifications.

After the 0-0 draw in Dushanbe on Matchday 7, most people believed it would be extremely hard to defeat the Wabbits in their own country but as there was nothing to lose, Zaev bet on an offensive strategy.
Nearly the entire Tadjik team was told to attack the Wabbits and force the breakthrough that would give the Tigers the lead. Zaev hoped to score early, only to make his team fall back onto its own half and defend the the remainder of the match.

But, as Tadjik army officers always say; 'No plan survives first contact' and the Tigers found themselves under pressure from the Wabbit strikers led by their starplayer Dirk Jools. With most of the men on the offense, the Wabbits easily found a way through the Tadjik lines and Jools himself had no trouble getting past Suchomlinov.

Zaev was very angry but understood that it was his strategy that caused this, none the less, he ordered his men to keep attacking. It did not go easy, despite Spruitlands offensive style, it took the Tigers twenty minutes of hard work to finally bypass Spruitlands defenders and get Saradov in a firing position. Saradov took that one opportunity he was given and scored his eighth goal of the qualifications, a high shot in the right corner, too far for Briers to reach.

The second half brought more of the same agressive football that we had seen in the first half, both teams tried to take the last three points. Spruitland had its supporters as main advantage, while the Tadjiks had to rely on the overall and individual quality of the team.
But the Tigers got lucky, a yellow card was handed out to Opdebeeck when he tried to stop Zyrianov with a tackle. Zyrianov got injured and was sent to the sideline for further treatment while Tulberdiev cashed in the penalty and gave the Tadjiks the upperhand.

Zyrianov returned to his team with some bandage around his knee, just in time to take part in Tadjikistans last great surge forward with everything they had. the left flank was entirely dominated by the Tigers, Elisarov and Tulberdiev worked their way towards the Wabbit box and passed to Saidomir Saradov who scored his second goal, here in Spruitland.
Zaev did not run around celebrating the third goal, instead he was already giving his players guidelines to defend for those last twenty minutes and most of that was not even necessary as the Wabbitsmade few attacks in the last minutes. Both teams were exhausted and neither really felt like pushing it.

For the Tadjiks this means that they have 27 points and retain that first place they were so eager to get. Right after the match, Zaev was probably the happiest man in Spruitland: 'Finally, the Tadjik Tigers have shown their teeth. I believe the team is ready for the big work that this World Cup will bring. Offcourse I'd like to avoid being drawn in a group with the big teams, the ones that make a good chance of winning the Cup. Though that does not mean I'm afraid of them.' Zaev said with a big smile, before he dissapeared into the lockerrrooms.

GROUP 13 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Tadjikistan 12 8 3 1 24 7 17 27
Spruitland 12 6 5 1 20 10 10 23
Pastorville 12 5 2 5 13 17 -4 17
Radke 12 4 2 6 15 23 -8 14
N. Caesarea 12 2 6 4 9 15 -6 12
Atheistic Right 12 3 2 7 13 16 -3 11
Apo. Kittens 12 3 2 7 11 17 -6 11

MD1: Bye
MD2: Atheistic Right - Tadjikistan D 0-0
MD3: Tadjikistan - Radke W 4-2
MD4: N. Ceasarea - Tadjikistan D 1-1
MD5: Apo. Kittens - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD6: Tadjikistan - Pastorville W 4-0
MD7: Tadjikistan - Spruitland D 0-0
MD8: Bye
MD9: Tadjikistan - Atheistic Right W 2-0
MD10: Radke - Tadjikistan W 0-3
MD11: Tadjikistan - N. Ceasarea W 3-0
MD12: Tadjikistan - Apo. Kittens W 2-1
MD13: Pastorville - Tadjikistan L 2-0
MD14: Spruitland - Tadjikistan W 1-3

Tadjik Goalscorers:
Saradov - 9
Tulberdiev - 6
Zyrianov - 5
Elisarov - 2
Kirponos - 1
Maximov - 1

Ariddia

11-05-2006, 17:16

All in the last game…

Never perhaps had a football match been awaited with such anticipation, tension, hope and worries. It was the first time in the living memory of most Ariddians that the team reached the final game of the qualifiers while still in contention for a qualifying spot. In a fitting twist of the schedule, the two remaining teams for the second place in group 8 went head to head to battle it out directly.

The Ariddian supporters were clearly outnumbered in the Elrichian stadium, but they made up for it with sheer loudness, waving a profusion of black, red and green flags, and shouting in French, English, Wymgani and an assortment of other languages too. The ulek elicited especially loud cheers. The team down in the pitch looked in top form, and both Clément and al Jahdali were back in action for the crucial last match.

The match began on a fast pace, the ball seeming to zap back and forth across the field, then slowed gradually after the first half-hour. The first moment of excitement came when Clément achieved a shot on goal. . . which, as if to add to the tension, bounced off the sidepost at high velocity and was cleared by Elrichian defender Scott.

A real scare occurred when Mudge, making the most of a skilful corner kick from Spinks, almost made the opening goal an Elrichian one. Leduc was just able to deflect the ball over the bar, and the Ariddians in the stadium heaved a collective sigh of relief. Both sides went into the second half goalless, and the suspense was still complete.

All Ariddia needed in order to qualify was a draw, and some spectators would no doubt have been content to see the game end on as goalless as it had started. But many were equally aware that Elrich absolutely needed to score, and the Elrichians were beginning to take increasing risks in order to break the stalemate. Ariddia had never been renowned for its defence, and by the end of the first half it was beginning to look increasingly shaky. . .

The Rouge-et-Noirs filed back out onto the field with seemingly renewed energy at the start of the second half. And, before everyone could even settle back and watch, Ismail Faraj weaved his way through the Elrichian defence in the fiftieth minute and slammed the ball in right past Gordon Burns.

The score line had been opened, and an Ariddian had opened it.

His compatriots in the stadium stood and cheered wildly, while his team mates hugged him, but the game was still far from over. The forty-three minutes that followed were agonisingly long, with increased threats as the Elrichians attacked again and again. Ariddian goalkeeper Sandrine Leduc was given a yellow card in a particular tense moment for a bad tackle on Spinks, and had to face a penalty kick. She saved it confidently, and let out a whoop of relief as she raised her gloved hands into the air.

The whistle marking the end of the game enabled millions of Ariddians to regain their breath at last, and let flow their joy. For the first time in seven decades, Ariddia had qualified!

A teary-eyed Sandrine Leduc was hugged by her captain, Ue Alt, and Faraj was lifted onto his team mates’ shoulders and paraded triumphantly round the field, to the delight of fans. Back home, parties broke out spontaneously, and are expected to continue on well through the night.

Also in group 8, Spaam finished the Cup by going down 1-0 to Rejistania, and dropped to the very bottom of the group, a huge shock to football fans everywhere. Ariddia will be joining Rejistania and thirty other nations in heretofore unknown territory. . . the final stages of the World Cup. Elsewhere, Audioslavia, where several Ariddians play, qualified a while ago, and finishes with an almost perfect record and 33 points. The dream simulacra of Alasdair I Frosticus, alas, will not be present in the next stages, but Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, also home to several Ariddian players, will be there despite a loss in their closing match – as will Krytenia, well known to Ariddian defender Tim Wald.

“See you in the Cup!” Hanifah Kyaw shouted at supporters, grinning and waving wildly, clearly bursting with excitement. Today’s match is one few Ariddians will ever forget. . .

Cataduanes

11-05-2006, 17:21

Islanders just make it!

Cataduanes faced an eliminated Bazalonia for the final fixture of the qualifacation needing a win to ensure further progress beyond any doubt.
But the Bazalonians we not turning up to make up the numbers and within the first 15 minutes were two goals up with a brace on the 11th and 14th minute from Peter "Wolfie" Hobble, both goals coming from well worked set pieces. With the Home crowd cheering them on the Bazalopes increased there lead to 3 by half time with another set piece goal this time via the head of Anthony Creek. TO be honest the Islanders looked uninterested and tired in the first half but with news filtering back that Wentland where 2-1 up against the Vikings the Islanders came out for the second half a rejuvenated team, and the resurgence was evident from the start with the Bazalopes forced onto the defensive especially after Ribera's cross was converted by Butch Sacario on the 50th minute. With Coach Manua bouncing up and down and screaming orders in a fashion unbefitting someone his age the Islanders continued to pressplaying neat short passing football via the middle as Bazalonia sought to neutralize the potent Islander wingers, and on the 63rd minute a 20 yard pass form Butch Lim carved straight down the middle to the feet of Carlos Guarin who using his trcikery edged the ball into the box leaving Shane Smith for dead and slotting the ball under the torso of Jeffery Constantine to make the score 3-2. However despite this resurgence the equalizer remained elusive and the Bazalopes held on till the final whistle to secure the win. Lucky for the Islanders however was the fact that the Vikings had equalized at the start of injury time before scoring the winning goal just before the end.

''we were lucky! no doubt about it, Bazalonia played for there pride, a quality my boys lacked in the first half'' commented Coach Manua, lucky they are as Wentlands loss meant the Islanders had secured second place and hence qualified for the forthcoming WC finals, when pressed as to the reason for the Islanders form in recent games Jose Manua commented ''what can i say we started this really well and then our form dropped off, all i can do is stress to the squad of the need for hard work and above all concentration''.

Wentland 2 Fmjphoenix 3
Bazalonia 3 Cataduanes 2
New-Lexington 2 Magnus Valerius 1

GROUP 12 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Fmjphoenix 12 8 2 2 23 9 14 23
Cataduanes 12 6 2 4 23 14 9 20
Bazalonia 12 6 1 5 20 18 2 19
Wentland 12 5 3 4 23 17 6 18
New-Lexington 12 3 3 6 11 18 -7 12
St. Happenin 12 3 3 6 9 23 -14 12
Magnus Valerius 12 3 2 7 14 24 -10 11

Nedalia

11-05-2006, 17:49

The Nedalia Lions

The Lions Roar; World Cup Awaits

Kafra, Nedalia - The Nedalia Lions were greeted by almost 100,000 ecstatic fans in and around the airport when they landed at the Kafra International Airport this afternoon, only to find out that this was merely 1/10th of the total amount of people who had made their way to downtown Kafra in celebration. Having won Collonie only twice in 4 tries previously, the Lions thought nothing of their record and confidently brushed aside their opponents 2-0, confirming their trip to the World Cup in grand fashion.

This will be only the 2nd time Nedalia has qualified, and the first since WC 24. The team currently still comprises of many of the same players, but the big difference, according to manager Brent Vent, is experience.

"Last time we qualified, it was learning experience. The players were young, and they were just happy to be in it. But this time around, we still feature many of the same players...and for alot of them, this will be their last tournament as well as mine. They've peaked at the right time. Nene, Innit Point, Trent Hardman, Hans Lamm...they were focal point then, and they still are now. But all of them are past 30, looking into their mid 30s, so this will be their final swansong," commented the manager.

The revitalized squad has shaken off years of mediocrity and advanced in convicing fashion, losing only 2 games to Total n Utter Insanity[/n] and rivals [b]Chicanada.

"I'm sure the Chicanadans will be disappointed they didnt make it, but hey, you win some, you lose some. Last World Cup campaign, it was us who got shut out and they advanced. You gotta roll with the punches," suggest Vent.

The star of the campaign for the Lions has been obvious: having recently completed a move back to his original club, Shoreland United, Nene has been in outstanding form, almist singlehandedly carrying the team through the qualifying stages. The last time Nene performed in such a marvelous way, the Lions qualified to the World Cup. The feat has been accomplished again.

"I just hope we can make the Jeruselem fans proud," chuckled Vent. "Even when the Nedalian fans became frustrated with us through the years, those guys just kept covering our games and cheering us on. We owe them alot. They're definitely the team we're gonna support in the finals, along with the Bettians and Hypocrians."

Krytenia

11-05-2006, 18:33

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png
Walk On, Walk Out, Walked Over
by Rami Niblick in Turori

TO the Tynelian national football team, we say a hearty thank-you. Their two-nil victory over The Lowland Clans made this game irrelevant; good job really as this game turned into a tropical nightmare for the Aces. The Eels were overpoweringly strong, and the three-nil win took the Turorians through.

But it was after the game that things really started to get newsworthy. Krytie TV newsman Gary Milliard asked for an interview from Phillip Neasden, and Neasden obliged by resigning live on international television.

"I've failed," he said, "this is it. I cannot raise this team any more than I have - I've given everything and I just wasn't good enough. So I'm stepping aside; I hope that my successor can take this team further."

KFA chiefs at their Lowess Lane headquarters are in a spin; it appears that even they were caught short by this. Azurbet.kt have offered bets on Neasden's successor - and there are some interesting names in the frame.

AZURBET'S LATEST ODDS:
5/1 - Edward Johnson (Assistant Manager, Krytenia)
7/1 - James Barcali (former Krytenian goalkeeper)
10/1 - Helmut Vilkaous (former Vilita & Audioslavia manager)
15/1 - Ray Cella (AFC Avidia Manager)
25/1 - Michalis Mitrofanis (former Starblaydia international)
66/1 - Ricky Mallon (former Druida captain)
100/1 - Gabriel Kennedy (Krytenian international)
1000/1 - Hassan Isserson (former Krytenian international)

TURORI - 3
Sona'a 5, 28
Aouli 70
KRYTENIA - 0

TOURNAMENT SCORERS
J. Quinnell - 6
M. Friday - 5
J. Jaffacake-Phillips - 5
G. Kennedy - 1
Tejai - 1

QUALIFYING SCHEDULE
MD1: NO FIXTURE
MD2: A v ALG D 0-0
MD3: A v TLM W 3-1
MD4: A v GEI W 2-0
MD5: A v TYN W 2-0
MD6: H v TLC W 2-1 (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD7: H v TUR L 2-3 (New City Stadium, Avidia)
MD8: NO FIXTURE
MD9: H v ALG D 0-0 (The Mound, Secklow)
MD10: H v TLM W 2-1 (ArenaWest, Aigburth)
MD11: H v GEI D 2-2 (Denbigh Park, Ousevale)
MD12: H v TYN L 0-1 (Mellion Lane, Davisham)
MD13: A v TLC W 3-0
MD14: A v TUR L 0-3

Hypocria

11-05-2006, 18:43

Do Not Adjust Your Sets

Ladies and gentlemen, we interrupt this transmission to bring you a terrifying announcement. Hypocria, a nation that has previously turned qualification failure into an art form, has qualified for the World Cup. Yes folks, we’re scared too.

Football fans, the media, seemingly the entire Autocracy had stayed silent during the campaign in an effort not to jinx what was on a paper an incredibly easy group. After all, we’ve had easy groups before and chucked them away. Not this time.

The Hyppos fittingly ended their campaign in front of a packed Hyppodrome. And although the side narrowly lost to top seeds and group winners Bedistan nothing could kill the party atmosphere. At the final whistle the fans chanted Alex Santoro’s name in recognition of the coach who had achieved the impossible. Where expensive foreign coaches like the incompetent Starblaydi (Guylain N’Dumbu-Nsungu) and the loud mouth Sarzonian (Dave Wilson) failed the quiet man from Pylos has triumphed.

“About bloody time”, was the general consensus.

The Autocracy’s qualification made it a clean sweep for the Verdana nations with Bedistan, Spruitland, Bettia, Krytenia and Nedalia all booking their places at the finals.

Cuation

11-05-2006, 19:51

Cuation Fall Down At Last!

In the last three games, Cuation have managed a mere two points out of nine, scored two goals and conceded six. Better then most I suppose but at such a vital stage, we really failed to deserve second place.

The match was delayed thanks to the Cuation plane breaking down but when it kicked off, the reserve team failed to rouse themselves. Tanner started to recover his fitness with Anderton dropping to patrolling the left wing. The first half was drab as both sides failed to add any urgency to their play but on the 34th minute, Keane was tripped outside the box.

As the wall was being made, Butcher and Ashton stood over the ball before the winger spotted a large gap in the wall. Blasting it with all his strength, the ball went through the gap and past the unsighted keeper.

In the second half there where a mere three chances. Keane's first time effort flew over the bar after a good knockdown by Tanner. Butcher's back pass was sloppy and Jose could do nothing when Number 10 seized on the chance, his effort going in off the post.

A late Cole cross was headed in by Tanner but the linesman rightly flagged for offside. When the whistle blew, it was a relief for all after a dull game. 1-1 and Cuation had taken third place for the third year running.

Group 4

Squornshelous

They crushed us 4-0 and ended any hopes we had of going to the World Cup. Did they have to do 4-0? This side where by far the best side of the group, only one defeat and two draws but will expect far tougher a fight in the next round.

Bettia

Only three points ahead of us, they where the better side. They may have lost a game more but we drew three more games then they did. Will be thankful they went through but will have to improve to get past the next round.

Cuation

For the third time in a row, we have finished third. We drew far too many games and failed to beat the big teams. A 4-0 defeat showed how much more we have to learn but at least we can expect a good shot at winning our first Cup of Harmony after two fourth place finishes

Mr Chuck Norris

One point behind us but still a class behind as two defeats to us showed. Need to learn to cope without Chuck Norris but if they continue improving, they will be a major force in years to come. If they enter the CoH, expect them to make the last eight.

Five Civilized Nations

This side are medicore and I can only wonder how we failed to beat these guys in two attempts. They are an annoyance but will never progress and we are glad to see the back of them for this year.

Burning Penguins

Our draw against this lot cost us but this side never loked like getting double figures in points. Tried their best but need to improve a lot to make any headway in the international scene

Slakaj

One win was all they had to show for all their efforts. In the first half, they conceded a mere 9 goals but have since collapsed? Do they lack fitness as well as attacking ability?

Mr Chuck Norris

11-05-2006, 20:01

Chuck Norris News
For All Of Your Fighting Norris Coverage

Well, it's finally over, World Cup 28 qualifying has closed. However, the last match of the season definately put a sweet note on the end of a long World Cup 28 melody. The score:

Mr Chuck Norris 2 (Brian Boitano 47, 85)
Burning Penguins 1 (Teobaldo Dominguez 9)

As the match began, the Fighting Norris instantly had reason to worry as their midfielders struggled to relay possesion of the ball to the heart fo the Fighting Norris squad: the "five-forward" offense. Burning Penguins began charging before the Fighting Norris even had a chance to get organized. This resulted in the scoring of the Burning Penguins one and only goal in just the ninth minute.

Clearly, the Fighting Norris players' morale was low as they struggled to supress attack after attack from the rookie Burning Penguins offense. However, the Fighting Norris did hold strong enough to bring the match to halftime with a score of 1-0 in the Burning Penguins favor.

However, the Fighting Norris emerged from the locker room as a very different team after halftime. Play resumed and finally, the forwards of the Fighting Norris were on the offensive. Chuck Norris was mobbed by nearly the entire Burning Penguins defense, opening up Brian Boitano for his first goal of the game in the 47th minute. Just two minutes after halftime, the Fighting Norris had already managed to tie up the game.

The charging was not done there though. For the entire remainder of the second half, the "five-forward" offense of the Fighting Norris pounded away at the thick defense of Burning Penguins. However, the Burning Peguins held strong as the onslaught continued as they spread out there defense to effectively cover all five forwards equally.

It was only in the 85th minute that the Fighting Norris finally managed to chalk up the winning goal. John Fedo approached the goal with amazing speed from the right (facing the Burning Penguins goal) and shot a ball at the keeper only to have deflected to the other end. Naturally, Brian Boitano awaited the ball and squeezed it past a shocked goalkeeper.

The Fighting Norris cheered as time ran out for they had won 2-1 due to a comeback in the second half by Brian Boitano.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I say we did pretty good this cup", says Bob Janney (coach of the Fighting Norris). "Last cup, our rookie year, we went (4-5-7) amounting to a .406 record. This year, we improved to a (6-1-5) yielding an above-average .542 record. That's an increase of about .136! At that rate we'd likely qualify next cup and certainly qualify in World Cup 30 (which I predicted long ago). As for this tourney, Chuck Norris expectedly provided most of our offense with 15 of our 26 goals (57.7 percent). Other contributers were rookie Brian Boitano with an amazing 6 goals (23.1 percent), and John Fedo with 5 goals (19.2 percent). I am overly pleased with our "five-forward" offense in this tourney. To put it in perspective only 4 teams of our 104 competitors had more than the 26 total goals that we had (Squornshelous with 28, Audioslavia with 28, Schiavonia with 27, and Total n Utter Insanity with 27) with one team tying that amount (Starblaydia). Having one of the best five offenses in the tourney is great. However, I plan to modify it slightly from a 2-3-5 to a 3-2-2-3 offense to mimic the effective complex formation of Squornshelous that outscored everyone else in this tourney. Details about this formation will be released upon our entry into the upcoming Cup of Harmony. The Cup of Harmony will be the Fighting Norris' next tourney and I expect all of you viewers to support us as we attempt to improve our pitiful Cup of Harmony record from last cup. I'll be back then, but until that time comes, sleep, eat, and breath the Fighting Norris."

Final World Cup 28 Schedule of the Fighting Norris:
Matchday 1: Vs. Five Civilized Nations (Won 4-2)
Matchday 2: Vs. Squornshelous (Loss 0-2)
Matchday 3: At Bettia (Won 3-1)
Matchday 4: At Cuation (Loss 1-3)
Matchday 5: On Bye
Matchday 6: Vs. Slakaj (Won 1-0)
Matchday 7: Vs. Burning Penguins (Draw 2-2)
Matchday 8: At Five Civilized Nations (Won 4-1)
Matchday 9: At Squornshelous (Loss 1-4)
Matchday 10: Vs. Bettia (Loss 1-3)
Matchday 11: Vs. Cuation (Loss 2-3)
Matchday 12: On Bye
Matchday 13: At Slajak (Won 5-0)
Matchday 14: At Burning Penguins (Won 2-1)

Fighting Norris World Cup 28 Record: (6-1-5)

Dorian and Sonya

11-05-2006, 21:10

Unicorns Fall Again To Very Quiet Squad

Queen Sonya was now completely irritated. Not only had the Mystical Unicorns slipped down a spot on the final table, they had looked extremely horrid in the process. Losses to Kaze Progressa, Liverpool England, and D2R could be excused to a point, and the squad had looked brilliant in the two matches against Vilita. Homieville had posed no problem at all whatsoever. But it was Rosberg that had give the Unicorns absolute fits. The 172nd ranked side in the world had not submitted a single player on a roster. And to this point they had absolutely no media coverage of any kind - or literally next to none.

So how can a group of unknown players form some extremely antisocial nation manage to hand the Unicorns two humiliating defeats? There seemed to be no answer to that simple question. The only thing the Queen was certain of was that the entire roster would receive a makeover for the next cup. Only a handfull of the current roster were worth the effort to bring back for their third attempt.

There is no upset report for this final match day. The seeds played close enough to make that a mute point.

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

11-05-2006, 21:48

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg

Sea Dragon Reserves Fail to Beat Crusaders

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from Stadii Se Draggonnii Arcea

The Sea Dragons were in action today against the Crusaders from Jeruselem. ASMV qualified on the previous match day while the Crusaders (#8 in the world) desperately needed a point to make sure of a spot in the World Cup. So with very little to play for that would actually make a difference, the Sea Dragons started every single reserve on the roster, allowing the aging starters some much needed rest.

And guess what? The reserves did a much better job against the Crusaders than the regulars managed on MD7. That first match had been an easy victory for Jeruselem. This one they had to work for. Only a single goal kept the Sea Dragon reserves from pulling an amazing draw.

The only downside to the result was that Jeruselem pulled even on points and finished first in the group by that 1 point on goal differential. But that really doesn’t matter. ASMV is now preparing for a trip to either the Archregimancy or New Montreal States. Either is fine and we look forward to actually getting a win in the World Cup experience in our second attempt at it.

Friends Watch
Hypocria (Qualified! Yeah!) lost to Bedistan 0-1
Dorian and Sonya got shafted 1-3 by Rosberg
Cuation earned a 1-1 draw with 5CN
Ariddia (Qualified! Yeah!) downed Elrich 1-0 to get in to the WC
Milchama (Qualified! Yeah!) lost to Sarzonia 0-1
Tadjikistan (Qualified! As Usual) crushed Spruitland 3-1

Attention D&S, Qazox, Wentland, Bazalonia, Bequerelia
It seems the “Underachiever’s Club” is now down to just Chicanada and Cuation. New members will be looked for to join them, and hopefully replace them in this club when they qualify next time around.

Milchama

11-05-2006, 22:09

"HEFA categorically denies any role in the recent experiences of the clearly unstable Milchaman player Marc J. Floren - his frequent references to 'the other', the nastics, someone called Steve the Egg, and alien abductors who discuss Judaism, early Christianity, the heretical Gnostic gospels of Judas and Thomas and the Babylonian Talmud are the product of a deranged imagination, and have nothing whatsoever to do with Dreamed Realm technology. However, we understand through our contacts with the MFA that officials in the Monastic Football Association of the Archregimancy are looking forward to offering Mr. Floren to opportunity to enter into theological discussions with Archregimancy citizens should his busy playing schedule so permit."

Marc J. Floren just woke up. He was in his house and nothing had changed from two weeks ago, when he could last remember waking up in this bed. He thought nothing of it until he picked up the paper to check on the Warriors' progress during WC 28 and saw that in fact he had scored a goal.

"Well I don't remember that" he said to himself as he went downstairs and made himself some coffee. He then tried to remember what had happnened to him after his most successful league season to date as he finally led the Norman Spartans to the title as they beat Great Alexandria on the last day.

Since that day he could not remember a thing, he looked at a picture of a green girl, he also saw several weird book including the gnostic bible and why socialism would solve all problems. He also had a few books on philosophy which was even weirder as he had never been philosophical himself. Then he remembered something, it was aliens from another planet or possibly futuristic humans who had taken him and had abducted him for some reason. He then remembered trying to go back to Earth in the middle of the Warriors soccer match but he had been beamed down to the game or did he? Well it certainly seemed like it. Oh well he went back to reading the Gnostic Bible and realized that these guys might be right.

"You know what, I'm going to go the Archregimancy and learn something about Judaism." he said as he left the house to go see Billy Timmons.

Praying2God

11-05-2006, 22:42

Attention D&S, Qazox, Wentland, Bazalonia, Bequerelia
It seems the “Underachiever’s Club” is now down to just Chicanada and Cuation. New members will be looked for to join them, and hopefully replace them in this club when they qualify next time around.

OOC: (and yes, I'm too lazy to post this under my puppet at the moment) What about Pastorville? They should be thought of as another of the group of underachievers.

Wentland

11-05-2006, 23:20

The whistle blew. The stadium was silent as space.

One hundred and eighty seconds. That was the gap to qualification.

Players lay strewn across the surface. The Fmjphoenix players looked almost embarrassed as they went to comfort the Wentland team.

The cameras cut from one shot to another. All of them fell on a scene of devastation.

It was as the board went up for 3 minutes of injury time that Fmjphoenix scored the undeserved equalizer that killed the atmosphere. It had just been announced that Cataduanes had lost and Wentland, 2-1 to the good, were on the way to the Finals.

Then that shot. That bloody shot. Stevie Moon could not get out of the way and it flicked off his ankle and arched over Derrington. Clipped the bar and dropped in.

The kick-off was almost desultory. Wentland threw everyone forward. Absolutely everyone. The ball was hefted clear and Derrington came forward with it and launched one in the box, he came forward to assist and it was pandemonium and suddenly it was cleared and two or three Phoenix players were through and there was no point in chasing back and it was 3-2.

The whistle blew.

The stadium was still silent.

The tannoy played something.

When your day is long
And the night
The night is yours alone
When you're sure you've had enough
Of this life
Well hang on
Don't let yourself go,
Everybody cries
And everybody hurts
Sometimes...

The Archregimancy

12-05-2006, 06:03

OOC: Might I politely point out that some of you have out of date region affiliations listed on your NS wiki pages?

THE MONASTIC TIMES

WORLD CUP QUALIFIER PREVIEW

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

With the World Cup draw proper awaiting the release of the latest KPB rankings, your intrepid monastic scribe took it upon himself to provide Archregimancy football fans with a run-down on all of the nations we might be hosting come the finals proper….

Bedistan (Atlantian Oceania): The presence of a Greek minority suggests that some Bedistanis may well be Orthodox. The top-ranked team in the world, and two-time defending champion, only a fool would discount them from being in the running this time around.

Hypocria (Atlantian Oceania): They have previously turned down opportunities to convert, but any nation ruled by an Imperial Autokrator – in the manner of Byzantium and Imperial Russia – must be viewed with some sympathy by the Archregimancy faithful. Most international football fans have a soft spot for the Hyppoes, but given their past footballing record, they’re surely doomed to disappoint in the group stages. Or perhaps now that they’ve finally broken the curse, they’ll be a surprise semi-finalist. There will be no in-between.

Liverpool England (The Heartland): No data about religious affiliation available, so presumably at the very least heretics. Struggled early before finding qualifying form – this surprised many observers who thought the chances of LE dropping a match were roughly equal to the Singaporean government losing an election. Still one of the favourites, however.

Dance 2 Revolution (FIFA): Very probably heathens, though this is a guess. The former top-ranked team in the world, World Cup 17 finalists and 19 semi-finalists were only fourth seeds in Group 2 and were surprise qualifiers thanks to a dramatic 1-0 win over Kaze Progressa on the final matchday. Will struggle to get out of the group stages.

Starblaydia (Atlantian Oceania): An avowedly atheist nation where over 70% of the population are themselves atheist, and all ‘Christian Denominations’ combined are only about 3% of the population. Despite following the path of Satan, they had a very impressive qualification campaign, and are one of this writer’s early favourites to reach the final.

Praying2God (FIFA): The precise nature of the Warriors’ heresy is still in dispute, though the plurality of Archregimancy theologians believe them to be Sabellians. Minority opinions hold that they might well be Adoptionists, Apollinarianists, Arians, Docetists, Kenosists, Modalists, Patripassionists, Pelagians, Socinianists, or Tritheists. If nothing else, there’s plenty of heresies to go about. I doubt they’ll get out of the group stages.

Squornshelous (Pacifinesia): Not sure of their religious affiliation, but their pride in a history of violent conflict is somewhat disturbing. For some reason I have a nagging doubt over their ability to do well this tournament.

Bettia (Atlantian Oceania): Though Archregimancy team captain Fr. David the Water-Drinker has been known to say ‘Rydw’yn hoffi pel-droed Bettia’, the fact that the Aroras come from an Islamic state is bound to make them unpopular with your average Archregimancy football supporter. Nonetheless, a team to watch as they’re more than capable of causing an upset.

Audioslavia (FIFA): While the government is semi-officially atheist, the overwhelming majority of ‘slaves are followers of the schismatic Bishop of Rome. Seems appropriate somehow. Another team that looked good in qualifying – and you heard it here first… this monastic scribe predicts that the final will be between Starblaydia and Audioslavia. Is this the year that Audioslavia will finally break the longest-known continuous record of World Cup underachievement? Because the Hyppoes have nothing on this lot.

Islands of Qutar (Atlantian Oceania): Something of a mystery to this writer, and I know little of their religious background. If memory serves, were one of the many surprise qualifiers in World Cup 26, and have shown little to suggest they’ll make it out of the group stages.

Hockey Canada (Atlantian Oceania): Are those Russians Orthodox or militant atheist anarcho-communists? Alas, the answer appears to be the latter. After an early blip, the Canucks soon found their qualifying feet, and look a good bet for the quarter-finals.

Haraki (Gholgoth): Nothing known of their religious affiliation. Old-timers whose glory days are long-behind them (though not as long-behind them as the Holy Empire), and will surely struggle.

Jeruselem (Greater Prussia): A nation whose name promises much theologically, but who appear – alas – to be Catholic crusaders. With memories of 1204 fresh in many Archregimancy supporters’ minds, they won’t have much support from the home fans. Also struggled more than they should have during qualifying, and questions persist about their ability to make it past the second round.

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (Atlantian Oceania): Socialists, though that they’re still led by a prince suggests that they’re the more relaxed kind rather than the militant atheist kind. The Sea Dragons were one of the stronger second seeds in qualifying, and could well be one of the dark horses of the tournament.

Rejistania (FIFA): Virgin-sacrificing inikresaists whose dualist faith is one of the more reprehensible heathen beliefs represented at this World Cup. Also an extremely hard to beat football team, who only conceded four goals in qualifying, and didn’t lose a match. That’ll be a first round exit, then.

Ariddia (Uhuhland): While highly regarded by our rulers in the Holy Empire for their role in founding the World Cup, and one of only two qualifiers to have previously travelled to a world cup in the Dreamed Realm, here in the Archregimancy the fact that they’re a communist republic makes them hard for locals to support. While they’re not expected to do well given their long-absence from the world stage, any secular figures allowed to make the trip from the Holy Empire will no doubt keep them well supplied with grapefruit juice.

Oliverry (Atlantian Oceania): French, and therefore almost certainly Catholic. A news black-out seems to have accompanied their qualification for WC 28, but they’ll be a very hard team to beat.

McPsychoville (Alliance of Honourable Peoples): More than 20 different religions are followed in this inoffensive centrist democracy, including – rather worryingly – Satanism. Their desperately close final day qualification over Schiavonia and Tinsuvilia has left many neutrals wondering whether they can compete at this level.

Total n Utter Insanity (Uhuhland): Nothing is known of their religious status, but along with Ariddia, they’re the only other qualifier to have previously travelled to the Dreamed Realm for a World Cup. If nothing else, they’ll be hard to beat.

Nedalia (Atlantian Oceania): What is it with all these AO heathens and heretics anyway? Why can’t any nice Orthodox nations like Magnus Valerius qualify? The Lions overcame some questionable early form to qualify strongly, and are another potential dark horse.

Sarzonia (Atlantian Oceania): Separation of Church and state? Gay presidents? National anthems sung by Stevie Nicks? What sort of sinners are these people? Very good footballer players, that’s what sort. Their anti-climatic performance in the last world cup will also have them aware of the dangers of complacency, so they could be very dangerous this time around.

Milchama (Atlantian Oceania): Democratic socialist Hebrews – but while they might well be God’s chosen people, they’re certainly not God’s chosen footballers. Will struggle to qualify for the second round.

Fmjphoenix (Atlantian Oceania): Another nation whose religious beliefs are a mystery to us. Have also never quite translated their success at the under 21 level to full internationals, so expect a surprisingly early exit this time around.

Cataduanes (Filipinas): Catholic schismatics. One of the surprise qualifiers for World Cup 26 for whom questions still remain over their footballing pedigree. First round exit.

Tadjikistan (Greater Dienstad): Those who aren’t Muslim are atheists, so not much grounds for home fan support here. Still, Archregimancy fans have a surprising amount of respect for Tadjik football following Pantocrator MFC’s surprise victory over a Tadjik side in the most recent NSFA Cup final. A strong side whom I expect to reach the quarterfinals.

Spruitland (Atlantian Oceania): By their own count, three quarters of the population are at best indifferent to religion, though a small group of heretical schismatic Christians of various sorts meet in barns. But these sinners – the Lord moves in mysterious ways – nonetheless came within one match of being the only second seeds to make it through qualifying undefeated. Another possible darkhorse.

Casari (Atlantian Oceania): Catholic schismatics, but a nation for whom many Archregimancy fans maintain a soft spot due to their frequent enthusiastic celebrations of Christ’s first miracle at the wedding in Cana. Their rapid improvement in recent years has impressed many, and they could well be a surprise semi-finalist.

Commerce Heights (Atlantian Oceania): “It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven” – so said our saviour, but it’s a lesson these worshippers of Mammon have yet to heed (though it’s possible the Greek minority are Orthodox). A team on the slide whom I expect to struggle this time around.

Turori (Atlantian Oceania): Yet another squad of Atlantian Oceanian heathens about whom I know little. Still, they’ve bounced back impressively following a highly disappointing WC 26, and they should make the second round.

Krytenia (Atlantian Oceania): ‘Religion is rarely practiced’, apparently, though whether this is because the government or the people are the greater sinners is unknown. Were the poorest of the first seeds in qualifying, stumbling into the finals after a 3-0 loss to Turori only thanks to a Tynelian win over their closest rivals.

New Montreal States (The Kingdom of the Midlands): The best Orthodox football team in the World Cup (sigh), so it’s just as well we can’t play them in the first round. Our co-hosts would have been a top-seeded team had they had to qualify, and could well be an outside bet for a semi-final place.

The Archregimancy (The Dreamed Realm): The second-best Orthodox football team in the World Cup. Anything less than a second round spot will be a disappointment, though I wouldn’t expect us to go any further.

Casari

12-05-2006, 06:58

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png
presents
AN EDITORIAL MOMENT

We're on our way, We're on our way...
Topping the group once again feels so good, and so does the booze!

A magnificant by-5-points topping of Group 14 has many happy, if drunk, Casaran fans preparing travel plans.

"Aye, I already traded in all my sick days," one fan said, "so I'm thinking I might just not show up for work. I know all my buddies aren't anyway!"

Until the groups are actually drawn, it's hard to know where the team is going, but some fans have taken care of that already.

"I just got tickets to the States anyway. If we play there, I'll need them, and if we play in the Reg, one of those nifty-portal-things will show up and I can stagger there blind drunk! Either way, it's a great system."

You know, it really sucks to the the Macabees right now
Standards for investigative reporting in Casari lowered forever

The Macabees. A 3rd place finisher?

Or the only team with a right to complain?

GROUP 14 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
The Macabees 12 8 0 4 13 10 3 24

24 points and a +3 GD. Not bad. Particularly when that would have won groups 9 and 12, and claimed second in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 11, 13, and 15.

That's right. In 12 other groups, a record as good as these boys would see them through. But sadly, they're a point short, and unlikely to see the Cup of Harmony as well, even though they are clearly this year's 33rd team. So raise a pint to the boys who the draw bit in the arse and haven't complained a bit.

One more look at that who's qualifying joke

Two words, boys:

What happened?

Eight of you had a chance of making it on the final matchday and get us looking at a lot less red.

Winner Second
Group 1 Bedistan Rordia
Group 2 Liverpool England Vilita
Group 3 Starblaydia Praying2God
Group 4 Bettia Squornshelous
Group 5 Audioslavia Legalese
Group 6 Hockey Canada The Kazoo Peoples
Group 7 Jeruselem Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Group 8 Rejistania Spaam
Group 9 Oliverry Schiavonia
Group 10 Total n Utter Insanity Nedalia
Group 11 Milchama Sarzonia
Group 12 Wentland Fmjphoenix
Group 13 Spruitland Tadjikistan
Group 14 Casari Commerce Heights
Group 15 Krytenia The Lowland Clans

So, in the end, we predicted 22 of 30, batting .733 for qualifying. But the best one is still there, because even after a little jailtime, the editors are backing Audioslavia to win, irregardless of what you guys say. When you look back, you're going to be in awe that we were looking in this far in advance.

Now if you don't mind, the company athletic field is located convienently close to a hydrant and that cooler full of Emeri Stout is looking quite refreshing. Those poor guys in the newsroom won't know what hit 'em.

Dorian and Sonya

12-05-2006, 08:07

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e228/Sonya0111/SylMedCen.png

D&S Media Awards
Completely revised and spectacular

14 match days have now come and gone. Results have varied a bit. And depending on just who you ask (Haraki or Spaam) it will be viewed quite differently by every single nation that participated. We here at the Sylvanaes Media Centre will not judge the results of this cup. We wish only to show you some media related facts and figures.

In doing so, we have broken down the number of media releases from each nation into two groups - Quality Media Releases and Other media releases. The category each release was placed in is at the sole discretion of the editorial staff and bears no markings of any other standard. A quality release was assigned a point value of 5, while other releases received a value of only 2. (ie. A standard match report would be valued at 5, while a friendly match report is only seen as a 2). In addition, we also awarded 2 points to any nation that submitted a roster for this WC event.

Here is how the numbers have added up. Please note that each group was also assigned its point value as a whole.

WC28 Qualification Groups Media Release Count Roster RP Points Total
rank/name/group finish Quality Media/Media/Total Y/N /RP Count Points
5pts 2pts 2/0

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GROUP 1 90/18 98

#1 Bedistan(1) 1/0/1 Y 5/1 7
#36 Hypocria(2) 1/0/1 Y 5/1 7
#46 Rordia(4) 12/0/12 Y 60/12 62
#58 Anathematic Republics(3) 1/0/1 N 5/1 5
#113 Nebuleux(5) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
#156 Narbithia(6) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
(unranked) Virginia Nova(7) 3/0/3 Y 15/3 17
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GROUP 2 122/25 128

#2 Liverpool England(1) 4/0/4 Y 20/4 22
#20 Vilita(4) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
#44 Kaze Progressa(3) 1/1/2 N 7/2 7
#64 Dance 2 Revolution(2) 3/0/3 Y 15/3 17
#87 Dorian and Sonya(6) 16/0/16 Y 80/16 82
#172 Rosberg(5) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
(unranked) Homieville(7) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GROUP 3 169/35 179

#3 Starblaydia(1) 7/1/8 Y 37/8 39
#27 Praying2God(2) 6/1/7 Y 32/7 34
#57 Harlesburg(5) 8/0/8 Y 40/8 42
#75 Vuam and Isma(3) 5/0/5 Y 25/5 27
#89 Georgeonia(6) 7/0/7 Y 35/7 37
#148 Dauna Hills(7) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
#205 Gaspland(4) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GROUP 4 192/39 202

#4 Squornshelous(1) 6/1/7 Y 32/7 34
#23 Bettia(2) 3/0/3 Y 15/3 17
#37 Cuation(3) 14/0/14 Y 70/14 72
#78 Five Civilized Nations(5) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
#86 Mr Chuck Norris(4) 14/0/14 Y 70/14 72
#201 Burning Penguins(6) 1/0/1 Y 5/1 7
#205 Slakaj(7) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GROUP 5 114/24 120

#5 Audioslavia(1) 2/0/2 N 10/2 10
#35 The Islands of Qutar(2) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
#50 Legalese(5) 1/0/1 Y 5/1 7
#69 Qazox(3) 15/2/17 Y 79/17 81
#114 Anastasiania(4) 4/0/4 Y 20/4 22
#137 Zorinia(6) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
(unranked) The Remote Islands(7) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GROUP 6 112/23 116

#7 Hockey Canada(1) 1/0/1 N 5/1 5
#28 The Kazoo Peoples(4) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
#47 Yafor 2(3) 1/0/1 N 5/1 5
#68 Haraki(2) 12/0/12 Y 60/12 62
#124 Nouvelle Angleterre(6) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
#157 Alasdair I Frosticus(5) 8/1/9 Y 42/9 44
(unranked) Iksonic(7) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GROUP 7 250/50 260

#8 Jeruselem(1) 15/0/15 Y 75/15 77
#32 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega(2) 15/0/15 Y 75/15 77
#45 Kericia(4) 0/0/0 Y 0/0 2
#72 Bequerelia(3) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
#116 Boudra-Boudra(5) 10/0/10 Y 50/10 52
#147 Rorysville(6) 10/0/10 Y 50/10 52
(unranked) Philthealbino(0) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GROUP 8 196/41 206

#9 Rejistania(1) 3/0/3 Y 15/3 17
#25 Spaam(7) 9/3/12 Y 51/12 53
#49 Arridia(2) 12/0/12 Y 60/12 62
#62 Elrich(3) 0/0/0 Y 0/0 2
#111 Spaamanian Piljous(4) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
#193 The Emperialist(6) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
(unranked) Raging Penguins(5) 14/0/14 Y 70/14 72
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GROUP 9 152/31 162

#10 Oliverry(1) 0/0/0 Y 0/0 2
#22 Schiavonia(3) 14/1/15 Y 72/15 74
#54 McPsychoville(2) 7/0/7 Y 35/7 37
#73 Kelse(7) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
#93 CR Oscilloscopes(6) 0/0/0 Y 0/0 2
#179 Vejar(5) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
(unranked) Tinsuvilia(4) 9/0/9 Y 45/9 47
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GROUP 10 40/8 42

#12 Total n Utter Insanity(1) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
#30 Chicanada(3) 3/0/3 Y 15/3 17
#43 Nedalia(2) 2/0/02 N 10/2 10
#59 Collonie(5) 3/0/3 N 15/3 15
#94 Emperor Pudu(4) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
#193 Canabinol(7) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
#203 Blitzwehr(6) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GROUP 11 286/62 300

#13 Sarzonia(1) 8/0/8 Y 40/8 42
#31 Milchama(2) 11/1/12 Y 57/12 59
#38 Giant Zucchini(3) 11/4/15 Y 63/15 65
#63 Swilatia(6) 11/0/11 Y 55/11 57
#85 Oglethorpia(4) 0/0/0 Y 0/0 2
#137 Lisburn Mateys(5) 13/0/13 Y 65/13 67
(unranked) Khenas(7) 0/3/3 Y 6/3 8
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GROUP 12 235/50 247

#14 Fmjpheonix(1) 0/0/0 Y 0/0 2
#34 Wentland(4) 22/0/22 Y 110/22 112
#39 Cataduanes(2) 13/0/13 Y 65/13 67
#79 Bazalonia(3) 4/0/4 Y 20/4 22
#80 Magnus Valerius(7) 1/0/1 Y 5/1 7
#201 New-Lexington(5) 5/5/10 Y 35/10 37
#205 St. Happenin(6) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GROUP 13 154/32 166

#15 Tadjikistan(1) 15/0/15 Y 75/15 77
#21 Spruitland(2) 0/0/0 Y 0/0 2
#51 Pastorville(3) 1/0/1 Y 5/1 7
#70 Apologetic Kittens(7) 1/0/1 Y 5/1 7
#106 Atheistic Right(6) 3/1/4 Y 17/4 19
#193 Radke(4) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
(unranked) Northern Caesarea(5) 10/1/11 Y 52/11 54
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GROUP 14 89/19 97

#17 Casari(1) 9/2/11 Y 49/11 48
#26 Commerce Heights(2) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
#40 Nanakaland(6) 1/0/1 N 5/1 5
#65 The Macabees(3) 2/0/2 Y 10/2 12
#107 Kirstiriera(4) 4/0/4 Y 20/4 22
#133 -Molvania(5) 1/0/1 Y 5/1 7
(unranked) Alberthame(7) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GROUP 15 215/43 225

#18 Krytenia(2) 8/0/8 Y 40/8 42
#24 Turori(1) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
#42 The Lowland Clans(3) 5/0/5 Y 25/5 27
#71 Tynelia(4) 16/0/16 Y 80/16 82
#103 Algal States(5) 1/0/1 Y 5/1 7
#193 Talmeria(7) 0/0/0 N 0/0 0
(unranked) Geisenfried(6) 13/0/13 Y 65/13 67
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hosts 31/8 35

New Montreal States 1/2/3 Y 9/3 11
The Archregimancy 4/1/5 Y 22/5 24

Now for our usual media awards.

Hot Air Award - Once again this prestigious award has been overwhelmingly earned by Wentland. Congrats. 2nd place goes to Dorian and Sonya & Tynelia in a tie. 3rd is Qazox

Group Hot Air Award - This award has been earned by Group 11. Congrats. 2nd place goes to Group 7. 3rd place is awarded to Group 12.

Flat Balloon Award (non-RP)- could be given to any number of nations. Sorry. We will award only one nation with this honor. 2nd place would be a 29 way tie. The winner is TnUI for being the highest seed to fail at earning points. Congrats.

Group Flat Balloon Award - 1st place goes to Group 10. The two hosts earned almost as many points as this group in Quality Releases by themselves. Congrats.

Group Roster Award - Group 11 proved it can be made to happen that an entire group boasts rosters. Congrats.

Best Post Award - Anamathic Republics wins the prize for their “Hypocria Made Hell Freeze Over” release. Too bad it was their only post.

Congratulations (or not) to all winners.

McPsychoville

12-05-2006, 17:56

To coin a phrase, the party after the Psychos qualified ruined the shit of a lot of people, mostly other football fans. In their defense, it was a rare event, on par with Halley's Comet flying overhead or the year turning into a new millenium, but such logic matters not. The point this narrative is working towards is coming only, just slowly.

Anyway, the party. Somehow, the team had obtained a large amount of bootleg alcohol, quite probably from the black market, and were celebrating riotously. Free of the stresses the group games provided, Nate Webb was happy to indulge himself in the imported Vejar whiskey; after all, this could easily be the last time they were able to, especially with the near-fanatical Christian faiths of both the New Montreal States and the Archregimancy.

So he drank up. And up. And up. And for a moment, he was back in the past.

He was ten again, forced to go to boarding school. Looking out of the back of the car at his mother. She just stood there, no movements, not even a wave to say goodbye.

It had been fifteen years since Nate had seen her, and he had no intention of doing it again. At his graduation ceremony, attaining a Distinction and a Merit in double degrees, Post-Canadian McPsychoville and Pacitalian Language respectively. She had spoiled his one shining moment for good.

And then, sitting down on the floor of the hotel suite, Nate Webb began to cry.

New Montreal States

12-05-2006, 18:10

MINISTRY OF MORALE DENIES RELIGIOUS FANATICISM

[i]"You can get a drink in New Montreal" - spokesman."

NEW MONTREAL - The Ministry of Morale, responding to various concerns expressed regarding possibly "religious fanaticism" in the States, stated that "the States are a libertarian paradise," where, one might note upon a quick inspection of the nation, the currency is the ounce of marijuana, still redeemable on demand at the Central Bank in downtown New Montreal.

"We're just a libertarian paradise with a state Orthodox Church," said the spokesman. "What moral order the States do have is provided by individuals following the precepts of the Church," which is why the place hasn't gone straight to hell like it did after World Cup 11.

"Alcohol and pot are completely legal, although excess public consumption is frowned upon by the authorities and by the average citizen," said the spokesman. "And we have lower drug-use rates than some places where it's completely illegal, since it's so la-de-da for Jean six-pack."

Sarzonia

12-05-2006, 19:16

Dave Wilson woke up one morning and realised that he was tired. And not just the kind of tired you feel when you haven't had a good night's sleep, for Wilson slept for 10 hours the night after the Stars beat Milchama 1-0 to clinch the Group 11 title. No, this was the kind of tired you feel when a lifetime of expectation and the stress of working two jobs starts weighing you down. He knew what that meant. It was time for him to think about his future.

Frankly, the thought of dealing with political types and administrative matters was not appealing to Wilson, even though he agreed to this arrangement that had him serving both as the chairman of the Incorporated Football Federation and as the head coach of the senior national team. But he was finding that even with Sir Douglas Freech handling some of his work, he still had to deal with a lot of issues that had nothing to do with training a team.

He looked across the drive at the young assistant coach he was working with. Brett Hancock was training the second choice national side for the AOCAF tournament and Wilson realised that trying to coach both teams was too much. He figured that letting Hancock run the second choice side would at least prevent him from working the 20 hour days he worked during the 12th AOCAF.

But he also got a gnawing feeling that this was more than just momentary overwork that a nice holiday somewhere would settle. He felt as though it was time for him to think about retirement once and for all. He'd accomplished more than anyone else could have in Sarzonia, winning the sport's ultimate prize, its consolation tournament, two invitational tournaments, and he oversaw Hancock's efforts that brought the team its regional trophy.

All those accomplishments did nothing to diminish the fact that he was approaching 70 years old and he was considerably less energetic for dealing with what he called "other bullshit" than when he first took over for the late Bryan Marshall. He had one final project he wanted to oversee before he rode off into the sunset, or at the very least, assumed a lesser role within the IFF so that he could concentrate on his health and possibly getting his older son Brian an assistant coach's job.

He picked up the phone and rang Hancock when he looked out the window and saw the team filing into the training facility.

"Brett," he said. "Please see me in my office. I think there's something you ought to know."

Sarzonia

12-05-2006, 23:35

"Okay, boss. I'll be right over."

With those words, Brett Hancock's brain began to swirl. What was Dave Wilson going to tell him? Was he being fired? Was he being offered a job he couldn't refuse as a national team coach? Was Wilson going to rip him a new asshole for something? Was he going to come out to him and profess his undying love?

Okay, the last one wasn't on his mind, but who cares? Nearly everything else was presenting itself as a possibility. And he did hear Wilson joke that the young assistant was kind of cute. As he strode up the stairs that led to Wilson's office, he reached for the door. And then he hesitated, his hand hanging just centimetres from the handle where he took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. If he'd seen a trash can, he might well have dumped something there.

Finally, he heard Wilson say, "come in Brett." He quickly turned the handle and walked in. The next thing he felt was the sudden smack of cold water as Wilson put a bucket with the substance on top of the door. All of a sudden, Hancock laughed in spite of himself. His boss caught him with the oldest trick in the book. As he began to laugh, Wilson was laughing even harder. In fact, if anyone needed a visual demonstration of the Internet expression "rolling on the floor, laughing my arse off," Wilson was providing a damned good one.

"Uh, you wanted to see me sir," Hancock said questioningly, wondering if pulling that trick was the sole reason he was called from the practice facility. He waited patiently whilst Wilson's laughter began to subside and he picked himself up off the floor. He walked over to Hancock, drew in his breath slightly and spoke.

"Actually, I have a serious reason I wanted to talk to you," he said. "It's about my future, and it's about your future." He waited, scanning Hancock's face to see if he could read the young assistant's reaction from the nebulous statement. Damn, this kid could be an incredible poker player, he thought as he saw very little change in expression on the young man's face.

"Brett, after this World Cup, I'm going to retire as head coach," he said.

"Are you, are y-you serious?" Wilson's face took on a more matter-of-fact affect mixed with the weariness that led him to call Hancock in the first place.

"Very serious. I took on this job to bring the Stars back to where they're supposed to be and to restructure the IFF. That's why the organisation is so strangely configured. The President was adamant that I be in a position where no one from the Board of Governors or the IFF's senior executive council could force me out as coach. But to do that, they made me the IFF chairman. Even with Doug serving as president, I still can't do both jobs and serve as technical director, which I'm finding that I'm doing as well as the coaching."

"Well, can't you just name a technical director and focus your energies on coaching? And can't you have Freech take on more responsibility at IFF?" Wilson raised an eyebrow and nodded slowly.

"I could do that, but I'm finding it harder and harder for me to justify keeping you from your rightful place as the head coach of this team. You are the future of the Stars, Brett. I'm the past. I can serve as technical director for a Cup or two until we can find someone to take on the role full-time, but I need you to handle the coaching responsibilities."

Wilson then walked back to his desk and pulled out a piece of paper.

"I have a contract that will give you a salary that's nearly double what you're making now with performance incentives that could end up giving you three times what you're pulling in," he said. "Once you sign it, you'll be the next coach of the Stars. That is, once you dry off first," he added with a smirk. "Here, let me throw you a towel." He tossed the towel to Hancock, but it fell to the floor after colliding with his chest.

Hancock was too stunned to say anything or do anything. But Wilson decided he'd pull one more practical joke on Hancock. He walked over and planted a kiss on his understudy's lips, then stood back to see his reaction to that.

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

13-05-2006, 07:00

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg

This is Kellan Kildan with a Special Draggonnii Arcea (Sea Dragons) Report

More than twelve years have now gone by since Andossa Se Mitrin Vega burst on to the World Cup scene in the volatile Baptism of Fire that preceded WC25. That was quite a tournament. Violence abounded and a friendship on the pitch was born between ASMV and Cuation - especially when host officials banned the wearing of black armbands to commemorate the losses of life that had taken place. Face paint was used instead as Cuation beat our Sea Dragons 2-1 in the final. Nations still hanging around from that BoF include ASMV, Cuation, and Pastorville. Seems like a lifetime ago

That was followed by a trip to the Jeremy Jaffacakes Jamboree where ASMV lost every match before finally managing to narrowly avoid the wooden spoon. If memory serves correctly, it was The Archregimancy we faced in that final match. (That may be wrong)

Then came the learning experience that was WC25. The Sea Dragons learned a lot about how to handle defeats and keep on going. Jeruselem and others (RyokoDaitoKazanNampo esp) made us learn that lesson. That experience was followed by a rather lackluster performance in the Cup of Harmony, where we accomplished very little. No one thought ASMV would be around for very long.

Then came the debacle that was WC26. I don’t have to spend a whole lot of time on this one. Everyone knows what a mess that was. But the CoH this time would hold much better results for us. The Sea Dragons cruised easily before running into Bettia in the semis. Another loss would see us take home 4th place.

Next came the very first edition of our very own Draggonnii Inviyattii. The home advantage proved to be of no account as ASMV narrowly defeated Bazalonia to avoid finishing last. Sarzonia would emerge as the very first DI champion.

All of that led to WC27, where by some twist of fate, The Sea Dragons overcame thrashings from new friends Tadjikistan and hated Lovisa and a hard charge from Bequerelia to actually qualify for the WC itself. No one even seemed to care that we failed to win even a single match there.

The Sea Dragons would then take a slight break and play in the AOCAF. That experience was more than forgettable - the players were more ready for some time at home.

And that brings us now to WC28. ASMV started very slowly. Home losses to much lower ranked sides had the squad feeling as if they were not ready to compete. But that was turned around as the Sea Dragons won 6 of their last 8 matches to secure a spot in the WC itself. Only an 0-1 loss to Jeruselem on the final day kept ASMV from taking the group title.

So here we are. Over 12 years and in our 4th WC experience. Are we ready to take that next step forward? The answer is yes. 8 players remain from that WC25 BoF squad. The coach was also a player then. And Unami Banta-N’bai will most likely retire after this one. He will be 43 when the next cup begins. So the time is now as far as everyone on the Sea Dragons roster is concerned. Nothing would please them more than to move into the knockout stages and give Unami those memories to take into retirement with him.

We will have more Sea Dragon coverage to bring you tomorrow.

The Archregimancy

13-05-2006, 08:53

A monk in his robes and a possibly slightly stoned New Montrealer enter the room.

"First of all" says the monk "We would like to confirm the New Montreal Ministry of Morale's statement denying that we are some sort of alcohol-banning religious fanatics. Of course alcohol's available in both the Archregimancy and New Montreal States. How do you think we break a fast? Even in the Archregimancy, the idea of a monastery failing to greet visitors with an ouzo, vodka or plum brandy (outside of fast season, anyway) hardly bears thinking about. Though those looking for women and popular song to accompany their wine will probably have more luck in New Montreal States. Perhaps McPsychoville has us confused with heretical Calvinist Protestants?"

"But anyway" says the New Montrealer, suppressing a giggle "The real reason we asked you all here today was for....

THE WORLD CUP 28 GROUP DRAW

"Ladies [for this event is taking place in New Montreal States] and Gentlemen.... the envelope please....."

New Montreal States Section

Group 1
1 New Montreal States (12)
2 Total n Utter Insanity (9)
3 Commerce Heights (24)
4 Haraki (48)

Group 2
1 Bedistan (1)
2 Fmjphoenix (14)
3 Turori (23)
4 Ariddia (40)

Group 3
1 Liverpool England (2)
2 Rejistania (7)
3 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (30)
4 Hypocria (37)

Group 4
1 Starblaydia (3)
2 Tadjikistan (16)
3 Spruitland (19)
4 The Islands of Qutar (33)

Archregimancy Section

Group 5
1 The Archregimancy (28)
2 Casari (11)
3 Bettia (22)
4 Cataduanes (35)

Group 6
1 Squornshelous (4)
2 Sarzonia (13)
3 Krytenia (17)
4 Dance 2 Revolution

Group 7
1 Audioslavia (5)
2 Jeruselem (8)
3 Milchama (31)
4 McPsychoville (41)

Group 8
1 Hockey Canada (6)
2 Oliverry (10)
3 Praying2God (26)
4 Nedalia (39)

Group stage match schedule

MD 1
1 v 3; 2 v 4

MD 2
1 v 4; 2 v 3

MD 3
1 v 2; 3 v 4

(OOC 1: Pressing RL concerns for both of us mean that the full match schedule, including specific venues, will be forthcoming on MD 1 (which will be on Monday) - apologies for the slight delay on this detail, but we hope that the group draw provides you enough to RP with for the time being.

I would also like to apologise for not being able to scorinate MD 14 results on NMS's behalf when he had to delay posting the results - for RL reasons I'll explain at the conclusion of the tournament, I was unable to cover for him.

OOC 2: There may be some slight temporary disruptions to the nature of reality in the Dreamed Realm as the region absorbs the influx of visitors. Feel free to RP accordingly!)

Dance 2 Revolution

13-05-2006, 11:58

OOC: Where's my number in brackets?!

Not Squornshelous!!!

D2R continue to have history piled onto them like so much steaming...

D2R, after an amazing against-the-odds qualification have been rewarded with another team who would so love to beat them on a historical level.

Squornshelous were huge odds-on favourites when D2R faced them in a crucial match at the same stage of World Cup 17 when only 1 result would allow D2R to squeaze past Squornshelous into the next round. Dance 2 Revoluton managed to get that result when they defeated the Squorns 4-2. A result which caused major rioting within the hosting nation and back in Squornshelous itself.

However, despite the fact that they have defeated us after that humilation, the 1-0 Round of 16 win will not be enough for Squorn, and they will be looking to cause a humilation of their own on a gradually strengthening D2R team.

Looking at the other teams in the group, it appears obvious that D2R face an all-but-impossible task to head into the next round. Sarzonia and Krytenia are both top 20 teams and will obviously give more than a challenge to D2R, who hold a position just inside the top 50, to least score a goal, never mind win a match.

Group 6
1 Squornshelous (4)
2 Sarzonia (13)
3 Krytenia (17)
4 Dance 2 Revolution

Jeruselem

13-05-2006, 12:14

* Weird theme song *

A small Jewish girl is sitting at a cafe.

Rachel "Good morning, this is Rachel Goldstein for JGN at the World Cup 28 in The Archregimancy. Oh, the The in Archregimancy is part of the name, not a prefix. There's no games going on as teams who have qualified are preparing for the pointy end of the competition."

Waiter "Here's your coffee, Miss" * Waves at camera *

Rachel "Thanks. Jeruselem were drawn in Group 7 for qualifying and wouldn't you know it, we are in Group 7 again. That's seven then seven. Group 7 is full of familiar faces! Fifth seed Audioslavia, head the group with us, the eight seed as favourites. Milchama and McPsychoville join us. Looking at this, it's one of the three groups with two top ten seeds in one group - the other one is Group 8 and Group 2. Group 8 has 6th seed Hockey Canada and Oliverry. Our chances Harry?"

Harry "Sorry, I'm late. Traffic. Oh, the camera's on ... hello everyone. Well, Audioslavia pending a big disaster will make it. Any team who qualified irrespective of ranking cannot be dismissed. The key here is not getting trashed by Audioslavia, and a draw would be useful. If Audioslavia win their games, then we must win at least one of the games against Milchama and McPsychoville. Two wins would be preferable to one."

Rachel "On the subject of Group 8, guess who's there too. The Lions as 39th seed. Oh yes, Lions and Canucks in the same group. Wouldn't we love both to make the 2nd round. Rankings-wise the Canucks are sure to make it but can the Lions show their rank is too low? 39th seed is does not look good in paper."

Harry "Cafe Latte please ..."

Waiter "Yes, sir."

Rachel "Fellow Group 7 qualifiers Andossa Se Mitrin Vega or the sea dragons have drawn Group 3. For them they face Liverpool England and Rejistania as well as Hypocria. That's a tough group! LE have given us trouble and everyone else they play and Rejistania's reputation is daunting. Hypocria aren't favorites but heck, they aren't spring chickens either."

Stuff pops up on TV

Group 3
1 Liverpool England (2)
2 Rejistania (7)
3 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (30)
4 Hypocria (37)

Group 7
1 Audioslavia (5)
2 Jeruselem (8)
3 Milchama (31)
4 McPsychoville (41)

Group 8
1 Hockey Canada (6)
2 Oliverry (10)
3 Praying2God (26)
4 Nedalia (39)

Rachel "So, from The Archregimancy, for JGN. This is Rachel Goldstein reporting. I'll be reviewing the facilties here and of course, the culture."

Ariddia

13-05-2006, 12:41

Ariddia, Cité-Belle, Sandrine Leduc’s flat

“Thanks,” Wol said, as Michael passed her the large container of popcorn. The television was on, but for now the sound was down. It would not be long now. . .

Most of the team had gathered in Sandrine’s flat near the centre of Cité-Belle, on the south-east coast of Ariddia’s largest island, Ocea. It was rather cramped, but with some sitting on the floor in front of the sofa, or on stools and old wooden chairs they had brought with them, they had managed to squeeze in. The partying that had followed their victory against Elrich, and their qualifying to the World Cup finals for the first time, seemed like ages ago now, as they waited for the live announcement of the group draws.

“I hope we get to play in the Archregimancy,” Ismail said thoughtfully. Some of his team mates looked at him strangely.

“Why?” Jean asked after a moment. “I doubt it would be much fun.”

The forward player, scorer of the goal which had propelled the team into the finals, shrugged.
“Dunno. But I think it would be fun. And quite interesting.” He shoved his hand into the popcorn. “Culturally, and all that. Nobody knows much about that country. I don’t even know what their cities look like.”

“Probably quite deserted at night,” Wol said.

“I’d be bringing a bottle of grapefruit vodka with me,” John agreed. “I doubt we’d be finding many pubs.”

“We might get a climate shock,” James said with a slight smile. “I’ve heard it can get pretty cold in places.”

“Suits me fine,” Aush said, grinning and stretching his legs out over the somewhat worn carpet. The Arctic Islander was the only one among them used to frigid temperatures rather than tropical ones.

“I wouldn’t mind going there,” Ismail put in again, munching on popcorn, “but I hope we don’t play against them.”

“Why not?” Sandrine asked, then realised. “Oh. Two-hour long national anthem.” Ismail nodded sombrely.

“We’d be asleep by the time the match started,” he said. “It’s probably a tactic to help them win. Make sure your opponent can no longer even move his legs properly.”

“I wonder whether we’d be allowed a bathroom break,” Frédéric said with a quick smile. “A long one. Take our time finding our way back to the field.” Beside him, Hanifah giggled.

“Oh, I don’t know; maybe we have weapons of our own to fight back with,” Wol said mischievously. “They have no women over there, right? Just put all of us women into the game, and we’ll distract them with our bare legs.” She grinned wickedly. “Maybe wiggle our bottoms a bit and slip a goal past them while they’re distracted.”

Sandrine chuckled.
“They’re a bunch of old men with grey beards, Wol,” she reminded her team mate. “You wouldn’t want to give them a heart attack, now, would you?”

“Shh!” Hyok-Jun interrupted them. “It’s starting.”

The team were mildly relieved when the monk representing the Archregimancy informed viewers alcohol was not banned in his country. . . more or less.

“Plum brandy?!” John said indignantly, while the others hushed him. The representative of New Montreal States had begun the draw.

“Well, damn,” Frédéric said cheerfully as Ariddia’s name came up at the bottom of group 2. “We’re up against Bedistan.”

“All right. . .” Sandrine said as the draw came to a close, and clapped her hands against the sofa, looking round at her team mates. “Now. . . Who knows anything about sight-seeing in New Montreal States?”

Milchama

13-05-2006, 14:42

Alexandria Times-Tribune-Star-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Inquirer

Sports Section

We're not going to get crushed

The World Cup draw came out tonight and it was an ok one for Milchama. With two teams in the top 10 playing advancement will be hard but not impossible. The real suprise is that we are playing two of the same teams from WC 26 qualifying. Of course back then Jeruselem was in our position as a team that qualifies but sucks when they get to the finals and Mcpsychoville was an unranked team who could barely hold their own against anybody. Times have changed though and we really cannot look at those results (except of course our win over Jeruselem in the second half of qualifying) as helpful or legit. The other team in our group is Audioslavia, a team we have never faced before. Coach Jamie Smith said, "This group will probably not allow us to advance much out of the group stage but it will allow us to get points and not get embarrased like last World Cup. I think maybe if we can stage one upset over Jeruselem or Audioslavia we might just be able to advance."
Now onto the infamous Milchamian predictions:

Group 7
1 Audioslavia (5)- A tough hardluck side, that despite getting to three World Cup finals have never won the cup. As Cub fans we can sympathize with them and say this year will be the year. As for our chances against them, probably next to nothing. We played LE last time with a similair ranking and lost 8-3, we just want to avoid embarrasment like that.
2 Jeruselem (8)- A team we have played before in WC 26 qualifying and actually upset them once. Now the question becomes, could it happen again? and the answer is probably not. Although we could get a tie which would be something.
3 Milchama (31)- We're trying to do better than our embarrasing last place performance at WC 27. Qualifying is no longer enough, we need to take the next step.
4 McPsychoville (41)- First time qualifiers who are in for a big suprise and crusheraiding by the rest of the group. This is where we look good and get our 3 points.

So that means that Milchama will get 3 to 4 points. Three will not secure advancement but 4?

Rejistania

13-05-2006, 14:45

You know you are a Junis-Omeh'ny fan if...

...You think sistenha karela is a good idea, as is sistenha jesejil and sistenha imdila.

...clean sheets are the currency of System Karela, you however call no goals conceded "uti kaletri". Of course you like it if the defense worked

...you are afraid of matches against Squornshelous

...you know an alternative text of the national anthem which makes sailors blush

...you know the texts of the songs "xamjona tekne" (xen'la'aru lasane sejil...), "jada KaMaRi" in the national version (tani'het 'lil lasane'het raju, tani'het mi'lil xen) and "divensi raju"

...you know what "SyLy", "SyMji", "SeJaNil", Sasi and LaxTa refers to

...you celebrate qualification (kanvali'het) as an excuse to get horribly drunk

...you think the Archregimancy outlawed fun

...you're surprised that other nations field more than one forward and that this player is not a concealed midfielder

...you can piss off foreigners by reminding them that they won less world cups

...you think all the Sarzonians marry their cousins

...you have a page of Hexatux-code on display in your house somewhere

Sarzonia

13-05-2006, 14:52

Woodstock Daily Mail

Stars face major test

by Ryan Calvin
Daily Mail Staff Writer

WOODSTOCK (13 MAY 2006) -- Sarzonia renews its acquaintance with Krytenia and face both Squornshelous and Dance 2 Revolution for the first time in several years in the group draws announced last night. For Coach Dave Wilson, the draw could have been better, but it also could have been a lot worse.

"We're not happy about the fact that our performance in the last World Cup dictated our drop to the 13th rank in the world," Wilson said. "Having said that, it's going to be a challenging draw for us but we're going to draw on the lessons of the last World Cup" when we face these teams."

Sarzonia (8-3-1, 27 points, Group 11 winners) face Dance 2 Revolution in the first game, marking the first meeting between these sides since World Cup XX, when D2R briefly held the world's number one ranking and the Stars were an up and coming team that had never advanced past the group stage. Now the Stars are trying to avoid a precipitous drop out of the top 20 and are facing a D2R side trying to return to the top of the rankings.

"We're not going to underestimate that team," midfielder Jenna Raven said. "You saw what happened last World Cup when we weren't as focused as we should have been. Trust me, we'll be ready for D2R."

In a match that should be widely followed in Krytenia, the Stars battle the Aces in the second match of the group stage. These teams have met many times over the years, including the previous World Cup when the teams were in the same qualifying groups. However, Wilson warned against taking the Aces for granted.

"Remember, we'd never beaten Rejistania before the last World Cup group stage," Wilson said. "Granted, there was nothing at stake for us when we did beat them, but that streak's over. Krytenia beat us during the group stage of the first-ever AOCAF tournament, but we have to work our tails off to earn even one point against that team. It will certainly be a challenging game, but all of the games will be."

As for fourth ranked Squornshelous, the group's top seed, Wilson recalled the team's only prior meeting with Squornshelous, a 2-0 loss in the World Cup XXV third place match, and said the match between those teams should be "a major test" for the Stars.

"Squornshelous are consistently among the highest ranked teams in the world," Wilson said. "We've done well in the past in qualifying, but for us to beat those guys, we're going to have to play our best game so far. Are we capable of it? Yes. But we're going to have to make sure we play the way we're capable of playing or we'll get left behind."

Wilson wouldn't address speculation about his future with the Stars, saying "I'll address that in due time after the World Cup," but widespread rumours are that Wilson would step aside at the end of the World Cup.

Rejistania

13-05-2006, 16:15

Again different blogs due to the media difficulties

Defeated by the Empire

Okay, I exaggerated a slight bit. Of course, Rejistania saved at least one point, against the Emperialists, but the way they did so was horribly that it was a loss: a loss for dignity. The Junis-Omeh'ny had no offense and no defense. Vaka Iuliana can be lucky that he did not hear the booing of the fans in this match, they had any right to do so. The match was horrible! As I did say, I had the misfortune to be at the match and I'd really much liked to get my money back. First of all, the match took place 2 hours too late and I have no idea why since it never was explained. Then the Orange-Blues played horribly. It might be because of the fact that the pitch looked like Abysmalistan's Swamp. It might be the fact that the C-Team played due to a 1 month quarantine before being allowed to be in contact with emperialists (I circumvented the quarantine regulations by wearing an astronaut-suit). And I thought it was a bargain to get the match tickets that cheaply... *grmpf*

PS: The Emperialist 1 (player X 12th) Rejistania 1 (Syku Lyku 56th)

Private Blog of Kansu I Ikaru

Squornshelous

13-05-2006, 17:18

Oh God, not Them Again!

Squornshelous faces old foes Dance 2 Revolution in the group stage
Much time has passed since World Cup Seventeen, almost fifty years in fact, but Squornshelous still remembers. Just eight years after our surprise second place finish and return to the Top 25, we were poised to advance to the second round on the final matchday of the group stage. However, a little known team that had been expected, and were on track to finish at the bottom of the group staged one of the biggest upsets Squornshelous has ever suffered, and we watched them go on in our place to eventually finish second to Rejistania.

Eight years later, we once again found ourselves in a group with these most frustrating of foes, and while we were able to hold them to a draw, one point proved to be too little to lift the Pschychoes to the next round, and we watched Dance 2 Revolution once again prance into the semis, this time plaing third.

Squornshelous revenged themselves for those results a four years later, knocking off a then top ranked Dance 2 Revolution in the second round of WC20 and going on to place third following a semifinal loss to another old foe: Audioslavia.

As you can see from these instances, the team which comes out ahead in a Squornshelous - Dance 2 Revolution matchup has always done very well for themselves later in the cup. While we should be able to beat D2R, who at 46th in the world are one of this cup's surprise qualifyers, we must be careful not to underestimate their resolve, or lose sight of the other two teams in our group: Sarzonia, who may be out for revenge over the WC25 third place match, which marked the last time a Stars team made the Quarterfinals, and Krytenia, whom we have met with a few times before, and foudn our teams to be rather closely matched. This really is anyone's group, despite any snap judgements that may be made concerning D2R's rank.

As usual, we refuse to make a prediction concerning our own group but here are our takes on how the rest might turn out:

Group 1
1 New Montreal States (12)
2 Total n Utter Insanity (9)
3 Commerce Heights (24)
4 Haraki (48)
Average Rank: 23.25
The Host's home field advantage won't help them against the two solid teams in this group. Haraki may finish pointless. Look for TnUI to win the group with ease, and for Commerce Heights to beat New Montreal States on goald difference.
Prediction: Total n Utter Insanity and Commerce Heights

Group 2
1 Bedistan (1)
2 Fmjphoenix (14)
3 Turori (23)
4 Ariddia (40)
Average Rank: 19.5
It's hard to vote against the defending champs, so we'll concentrate instead on the battle for second. Fmjphoenix appear to have the advantage on paper, a little more talent here, a touch mroe experience there, but that match will be the deciding one in this group, as both of those teams will lose to Bedistan and beat Arridia.
Prediction: Bedistan and Turori

Group 3
1 Liverpool England (2)
2 Rejistania (7)
3 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (30)
4 Hypocria (37)
Average Rank: 19
Despite its low average rank, this group really isn't close at all. Liverpool England is far too good a side to allow themselves to be tripped up here, and despite some recent troubles, Rejistania will be able to advance as well, and they'll be happy to find theselves in the opposite brackett from Squornshelous. No need to fear matches against ASMV and Hypocria.
Prediction: Liverpool England and Rejistania

Group 4
1 Starblaydia (3)
2 Tadjikistan (16)
3 Spruitland (19)
4 The Islands of Qutar (33)
Average Rank: 17.75
This Cup's "Group of Death" by a considerable margin. With the second and third teams very closely matched, and the fourth side being a very scrappy one, we could see all sorts of interesting things happening here. This is our upset special for the cup.
Prediction: Starblaydia and The Islands of Qutar

Group 5
1 The Archregimancy (28)
2 Casari (11)
3 Bettia (22)
4 Cataduanes (35)
Average Rank: 24
If the last group was the Group of Death, this must be the Group of Life. With the top team being Casari, at just 11th in the world, this group in theory, is the easiest to qualify from. The catch is, like the Group of Death, the sides here are very evenly matched. Once again, we'd like to call in some upsets here.
Prediction: The Archregimancy and Casari

Group 6
1 Squornshelous (4)
2 Sarzonia (13)
3 Krytenia (17)
4 Dance 2 Revolution (46)
Average Rank: 20
Another very tight group. D2R pulls the average rank down but don't be fooled. This one is every bit as close as Group 4. Any two teams could move on from here.
Prediction: Hell No!

Group 7
1 Audioslavia (5)
2 Jeruselem (8)
3 Milchama (31)
4 McPsychoville (41)
Average Rank: 21.25
After three very close groups, its almost refreshing to see one this easy to pick. Audioslavia and Jeruselem are much too powerful for their groupmates, and Milchama and McPsychoville (steal our mascot will ya?) will be left fighting each other for third.
Prediction: Audioslavia and Jeruselem

Group 8
1 Hockey Canada (6)
2 Oliverry (10)
3 Praying2God (26)
4 Nedalia (39)
Average Rank: 20.25
Here's a good, average looking group. We'll be boring and take the top two sides, but not just because that's the easy way out. Look closely: it's tha Canadian Conspiracy. We're not sure what they're conspiring for, but NS's two foremost cannucks have been thrown in together and woe betide those who stand in their path. For moose tracks and maple syrup will cover their mutliated bodies.
Prediction: Hockey Canada and Oliverry

OOC: Wow, that last one got really wierd. :confused:

New Montreal States

13-05-2006, 18:49

NMS Group Stage Stadia Schedule

Please ignore the lingering odor of our national currency

Here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10622169&postcount=2) are details on the stadia to be used.

GROUP 1:

Matchday One:

New Montreal States vs. Commerce Heights, The Paladin Dome, New Montreal
Total n Utter Insanity vs. Haraki, Stade Guillaume Bédard, Acadie

Matchday Two:

New Montreal States vs. Haraki, The Paladin Dome, New Montreal
Total n Utter Insanity vs. Commerce Heights, Stade Guillaume Bédard, Acadie

Matchday Three:

New Montreal States vs. Total n Utter Insanity, The Paladin Dome, New Montreal
Commerce Heights vs. Haraki, Stade Guillaume Bédard, Acadie

GROUP 2:

Matchday One:

Bedistan vs. Turori, Dragon’s Lair, Sorel
Fmjpheonix vs. Ariddia, Coyote Stadium, Moncton Sands

Matchday Two:

Bedistan vs. Ariddia, Coyote Stadium, Moncton Sands
Fmjpheonix vs. Turori, Dragon’s Lair, Sorel

Matchday Three:

Bedistan vs. Fmjpheonix, Coyote Stadium, Moncton Sands
Turori vs. Ariddia, Dragon’s Lair, Sorel

GROUP 3:

Matchday One:

Liverpool England vs. Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, St. James Municipal Dome, St. James
Rejistania vs. Hypocria, Mariner Pitch, Philemon

Matchday Two:

Liverpool England vs. Hypocria, Mariner Pitch, Philemon
Rejistania vs. Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, St. James Municipal Dome, St. James

Matchday Three:

Liverpool England vs. Rejistania, Mariner Pitch, Philemon
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega vs. Hypocria, St. James Municipal Dome, St. James

GROUP 4:

Matchday One:

Starblaydia vs. Spruitland, Colisée Unité, Chateauguay
Tadjikistan vs. The Islands of Qutar, Stade Ville-Marie, Ville-Marie

Matchday Two:

Starblaydia vs. The Islands of Qutar, Stade Ville-Marie, Ville-Marie
Tadjikistan vs. Spruitland, Colisée Unité, Chateauguay

Matchday Three:

Starblaydia vs. Tadjikistan, Stade Ville-Marie, Ville-Marie
Spruitland vs. The Islands of Qutar, Colisée Unité, Chateauguay

Group 1 schedule slightly modified to ensure that the hosts will play in their national stadium all three matchdays.

Rejistania

13-05-2006, 18:51

Squeak!

The Raging Penguins had no real concept about what soccer is about. They came heavily armed and at the rejistanian airport already they had a bralw with the security because certain weapons were declared illegal in Rejistania and confiscated by the airport police.

The match itself was not more pacifistic. The mascots caused more havoc than Ila Iles in his best days as Orange-Blue Hedgehog. The new Orange-Blue Hedgehog, a rejistani H3SR player called Syku Ikaru did however decide to arm himself as well and so the raging penguin mascots, when trying to attack him, where tranquilized by poisoned darts. Referee Victor Divensi of System Karela eventually refereed the match after the Raging Penguin mascots attacked the referee Gurg of Abysmalistan and his stand-in Xur. The Karelan had a portable va'karela which he pointed at attackers. It's concentrated karelaness made the Raging Penguins search a different victim so if a hotdog vendor offered them something to eat and said something in rejistanian to them, they attacked him. The Orange-Blue hedgehog neutralized the raving penguin mascots at least for a time after that.

There is a slight problem because both the Raving Penguins and the Rejistanians call their national team The Team, only the Rejistanians say it is rejistanian: Lasane'het. However the Rejistanians have more expressions so in this report The Team refers to the Raving Penguins. The Junis-Omeh'ny were easily able to cope with the attacks of the Team. Maybe it would have helped to actually care about the ball and not to eat it. The Orange-Blues however were able to score against the Penguins several time since they exploited their utter inability to do anything like playing soccer. The Rejistanian B-Team won 3:0 against the Raging Penguins, however the ASR insists that the next match against them will be in a stadium with so many va'karela'ny that even these penguins can not attack.

Rordia

13-05-2006, 19:46

RORDIA - DESTINATION NMS
Part 14: Rordians Bow Out With Defeat

Rordia ended their World Cup qualifying campaign with a 1-0 loss to Anathematic Republics.
The Rordians conceded a penalty in the 27th minute after Liam Richardson fouled an opposition attacker in the area. Richardson was booked, and then got sent off just before half-time after a bad foul on the same attacker.
Rordia end the campaign in 4th place with 15 points - five points behind 2nd-placed Hypocria. The only team they couldn't get points again was Hypocria, but they did take four points from Bedistan, Nebuleux, and Virginia Nova.
Their record is Played 12, Won 3, Drew 6, Lost 3, For 15, Against 14, GD +1, Points 15.
Manager Neil van der Wal said: "It's been a bit of a so-so campaign for us. We've gone unbeaten against Bedistan, but we struggled against Virginia Nova. If we are to qualify for World Cup 29, we must stop being inconsistent."
Van der Wal also stated that he would axe Aleks Bonarev from the squad. Defender Bonarev has done poorly in his two games for the Rordians so far, and he is unlikely to feature in their World Cup 29 squad. Bonarev said: "I waste my time with Rordia. Gaffer not like my performance. I off to play for Virginia Nova."
Sorry mate, but you're not eligible to play for Virginia Nova. "My dog's collar from Virginia Nova."

LINE-UP: O'Leary; Craig, Robertson, Bonarev (McMenahan), Davidson; Mirren, Vance (Badger), van der Wal, Parkinson; Brick, Monaghan (Stevenson). Booked: Robertson, Mirren. Sent off: Robertson.

OTHER RESULTS:
Hypocria 0 Bedistan 1
Narbithia 2 Nebuleux 3

END OF AN ERA!
Tim Brick has announced his retirement from international football.
Rordia's legendary striker, 31, has decided to call it a day after his country's failure to qualify for the World Cup. But he insists that he is only hanging up his international boots for family reasons.
He has scored countless goals for the Rordian national team, and this season, he managed to lead the Rordic City Blues to their first ever league title. He will be a very hard player to replace.

And with that, we've come to the end of RORDIA: DESTINATION NMS. We hope you've enjoyed reading about Rordia's unsuccessful bid to make it to World Cup 28. We'll be back when the next World Cup starts, with RORDIA: DESTINATION HOST NOT YET DECIDED.

This is John Greenston, signing off. (That's right. Since I retired from football, I've become a journalist!)

Rejistania

13-05-2006, 19:50

Too much attack

The temple of Karela did entice the national team to play a better soccer and to stop their evil takilness in their traces. This did partially work against Elrich: the Rejistanians did play a 7-2-1, however the evil jesejilan influences were noticeable during the entire match: The players had some disorientation in this system and their organization was only passable. Elrich tried to attack, but since this means defeat, the Orange-Blues countered against them and Hinije~n I Teresil was able to bring the Orange-Blues ahead in the 6th minute. This was when things started to go wrong: the Orange-Blues did not defend as they could but searched the counter-attacks. This led to a number of chances. It was pure luck that Elrich didn't use the weakened defense to equalize the score. However Haraira Tamak~hi was able to use a counter to score the totally superfluous second goal in the 67th minute. Only then, the Orange-Blues defended their lead.

From the temple of Karela

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

13-05-2006, 20:16

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg

No need to fear matches against ASMV and Hypocria.

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from New Montreal States

The Sea Dragons suffered a major blow to their hopes of moving on in World Cup 28. That happened when the group draw was announced. All the hopes seem to have been crushed by a most horrid draw that leaves Sea Dragon fans wondering “What the hell?”

The Sea Dragons have been place in Group 3 of the NMS section of the tourney. Joining them in the group are #2 Liverpool England, #7 Rejistania, and #37 Hypocria. Ok. We do have a great relationship with the Hyppos, but getting both LE and Rejis seemes to be a bit harsh. Two of the groups fail to have a side ranked higher than either one of these guys. But that is a mute point as ASMV must deal with the group we have been handed.

So just what will the Sea Dragons have to accomplish moving on to the knockout stages? Play way over their heads, that’s what. On paper, the best chance of a victory lies on MD3 when we will face Hypocria, but even a win in this one is no guarantee. The Hyppos are a tough side to contend with.

That leaves us with the prospect of trying to steal points from Liverpool England or Rejistania. Our collective heads ache just thinking about that one. But it is a possibility.

And The St James Municipal Dome in St James, NMS is where we get to prove ourselves for better or worse. All of the Sea Dragons matches will be held in this venue. At least we will get a feel for the pitch. And MD1 brings a date with Liverpool England. Our squad will have to play at its very best if we want to even consider stealing a point from these guys, much less hope for a win. They will be out to prove that we do not belong at this level. We will be trying to prove them wrong.

Now let us take a look at the groups:
Group 1
1 New Montreal States (12)
2 Total n Utter Insanity (9)
3 Commerce Heights (24)
4 Haraki (48)

TnUI looks to be the side to beat in this one, but the hosts can make a lot of noise. Don’t count out Commerce Hights, they will be tough to knock off. Haraki played ell just to get here and will now have a rough time of things.

Group 2
1 Bedistan (1)
2 Fmjphoenix (14)
3 Turori (23)
4 Ariddia (40)

Bedistan is by far the best squad in the group and should make a great run at another title. Fmjphoenix and Turori both have to watch for a hard-charging side from Ariddia. Ariddia just might surprise everyone and advance.

Group 3.
1 Liverpool England (2)
2 Rejistania (7)
3 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (30)
4 Hypocria (37)

LE and Rejis look poised to move on, but ASMV and Hypocria are capable of making some noise, but it will be very hard for either side to gain ground on the top 2.

Group 4
1 Starblaydia (3)
2 Tadjikistan (16)
3 Spruitland (19)
4 The Islands of Qutar (33)

Starblaydia and Tadjikistan. That’s all we need to say about this group.

Group 5
1 The Archregimancy (28)
2 Casari (11)
3 Bettia (22)
4 Cataduanes (35)

We hate to say it, but the hosts are looking ragged in this group. Casari will run away from the rest and Bettia will be very hard for them to get past. Cataduanes might even surprise the host squad as well.

Group 6
1 Squornshelous (4)
2 Sarzonia (13)
3 Krytenia (17)
4 Dance 2 Revolution (46)

Ouch. Squornshelous should win this group, even though we now despise them for their comments about our chances. That being said, they will move on easily. Sarzonia and Krytenia will fight it out for second while D2R will get completely punked.

Group 7
1 Audioslavia (5)
2 Jeruselem (8)
3 Milchama (31)
4 McPsychoville (41)

Much like us, Milchama is looking way up at the top two sides in the group and will have trouble trying to catch them. Jeruselem we are familiar with, and instinct tells us they will win this group. Audioslavia should take second. But don’t count out the Warriors. McPsychoville will need more of their CoH luck to get a win in this one.

Group 8

1 Hockey Canada (6)
2 Oliverry (10)
3 Praying2God (26)
4 Nedalia (39)

Either Hockey Canada or Olivery will fall to Praying2God. Intuition says Olivery. Nedalia will be just trying to keep the matches close and hope for the best.

Bedistan

13-05-2006, 20:18

"Ariddia? Wow, one of the few nations that have been doing this longer than we have. Have we ever played them before?"

"Yes, Sarah, we actually have." Parker Law's voice took on the tone of a high school history teacher. "Well, not we we, but the nation, anyway. According to my records, we've played them a total of five times, but the last of those was in the group stage of World Cup 10, over seventy years ago."

"So any strategy that might've been used against them can pretty much be thrown out the window, then?"

"I'd say so, yeah."

"Oh, and what kind of cruel joke was it to put us up against Fmjphoenix? Some of our greatest friends, surely, I mean after all we just hosted the previous Cup with them, but also some of our biggest rivals." The expression on Sarah Jackson's face as she said this was some mix of amusement, indignation, and fear.

"Yeah, well, it is being hosted by NMS. Supposedly they've always had it in for us, or at least that's what my grandfather says. Something about a riot after a football match and a good portion of Columbia being burnt down."

"You sure he's not off his rocker?"

"He's been off his rocker since before I was born, but that's beside the point. We'd better get going, we've got a World Cup to prepare for."

Rejistania

13-05-2006, 23:35

Attack means not always defeat

Against Ariddia, beginning of the match was dominated by an attacking style of playing, surprisingly from both sides. The Orange-Blues played after the last experiment with a 7-2-1 a nearly takilan 4-4-2 formation where the midfielders played not as additional defenders. The Orange-Blues conceded in this match due to confusion in the weakened rejistanian defense. Kyaw'he scored in the eighth minute of the match after said blatant misunderstanding in the defense took place. However the Orange-Blues did not falter or tried to keep the damage as low as possible, they attacked in a way, Seletarakeledira "maniac" Hanselijimijile could be proud of. I Hetaki'he (ariddian state media called him just "Hetaki") equalized the score in the nineteenth minute. In the twenty-eighth minute, Teresil'he scored the 2:1. After that however, the 4-4-2 quickly became a 5-4-1: Tamak~hi'he was substituted out and Jenji Karu came in to replace him. The female defender, who just signed a new contract with Jinhes Lines, had an excellent match. After this substitution, the match was much more defensively than before and neither team had any chance.

Rejistania

13-05-2006, 23:41

From the blog Random Weirdness

Our Weegie-esque MD14 report:

Rejistanis win

Spaam 0 Rejistania 1 (Vaka Iuliana 36th)

OOC: SCNR

Krytenia

14-05-2006, 01:04

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png
Rickaaaaaaaaaaaay!
by Rami Niblick in Everton City

THE waiting is over, and it's a big surprise from KFA Headquarters; former Ousevale and Druida midfielder Ricky Mallon is the new manager of the Aces. Mallon, forty-six, is to meet up with his charges at a training camp in Avidia before flying out to the World Cup finals.

Mallon's contract will see him through to the final of World Cup 29, a move that has caused controversy as it grants him virtual "diplomatic immunity" as manager for the forthcoming tournament, even if the Aces finish bottom of their group.

Krytenia

14-05-2006, 01:22

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png
Dark Blue Clouds
by Bill Tulos in The Archregimancy*

THE draw has been made, the balls have been allocated, and Krytenia are...well, to be frank, they're in a bit of trouble here. Squornshelous, Dance 2 Revolution, and Sarzonia are the opponents; a heady mix of tough challenges and...well, let's face it, we'd rather face anyone else but Sarzonia with our record.

Squornshelous are the first opponents. The two sides have met a few times over the years; indeed, we have the Pschychoes to thank for our first appearance at the finals way back in World Cup Sixteen, as it was a one-nil victory over them that put the Aces on the road to Rejistania.

Sarzonia are, thankfully, the second opponents. Fans are coming into this game fully expecting to drop points - it's what we do - but the players will be looking to avenge the four-one spanking handed to them five years ago.

Finally, there is the nation of Dance 2 Revolution. The two sides have a pretty even history in their two games, and gaining three points from this encounter could be crucial.

Ricky Mallon could not have asked for a more difficul introduction to football management; the nation wishes him well as we fight our way trough a very tough group.

TOURNAMENT SCORERS
J. Quinnell - 6
M. Friday - 5
J. Jaffacake-Phillips - 5
G. Kennedy - 1
Tejai - 1

QUALIFYING SCHEDULE
MD1: NO FIXTURE
MD2: A v ALG D 0-0
MD3: A v TLM W 3-1
MD4: A v GEI W 2-0
MD5: A v TYN W 2-0
MD6: H v TLC W 2-1 (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD7: H v TUR L 2-3 (New City Stadium, Avidia)
MD8: NO FIXTURE
MD9: H v ALG D 0-0 (The Mound, Secklow)
MD10: H v TLM W 2-1 (ArenaWest, Aigburth)
MD11: H v GEI D 2-2 (Denbigh Park, Ousevale)
MD12: H v TYN L 0-1 (Mellion Lane, Davisham)
MD13: A v TLC W 3-0
MD14: A v TUR L 0-3

FINALS SCHEDULE
R1M1: N v SQU ?????
R1M2: N v SRZ ?????
R1M3: N v DDR ?????

*NB: Mr Niblick is somewhat averse to traversing to the Dreamed Realm; he's in New Montreal, just in case...

Casari

14-05-2006, 03:21

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

Casari to see hosts the Archregimancy in Group Stage
Bettia and the Cataduanes round out group

On a slow news day, there's not much to write about other than the WC group stage.

And if you read the title of today's article, you really know everything there is to say about Casari's role in it.

As long as we don't blow it, that is. If we do, there'll be a lot more anger spewing forth towards the people in charge.

In people-we-picked-to-win-the-thing news, Audioslavia was drawn into group 7, with Jeruselem, Milchama, and McPsychoville, in what should be a hopefully-easy qualifying round that should see out pick to win live a few more days.

Geisenfried

14-05-2006, 03:49

Konigseifert Chronicle

The World Cup Rolls On
Our Predictions on The Rest of World Cup 28

Yes, we know we didn't qualify. However, we here at the Konigseifert Chronicle feel compelled to give you continuing coverage on the 28th World Cup, especially since the Cup of Harmony is yet to get underway. And so, we look at the teams that did make it, and make our guesses on who will win it all. The group draws have been completed, and games are set to start in a couple of days within the New Montreal States and the Archregimancy.

Without further adieu, we give you our World Cup 28 Predictions.

Going Home in the Second Round
From Division 1, we think the Commerce Heights and Haraki will be knocked out. While Commerce Heights might be able to muster something up, we think that the two other teams have enough advantages to pull through. Meanwhile, Haraki will have to fight just to keep some of their games close. In Division 2, we'll take an upset and have Fmjphoenix and Turori go home. Though they performed well enough in qualifiers, there's just something that tells us that these guys won't do much in the actual World Cup. Division 3 will see the departure of Andossa Se Mitrin Vega and Hypocria, simply because they face two much stronger teams. Neither of them have any real chance. We're going with Spruitland and the Islands of Qutar leaving the World Cup from Division 4. While spirited, the Islands of Qutar just don't seem to match up with the others and Spruitland, though strong, doesn't seem strong enough either. Hosts The Archregimancy and Cataduanes will probably fall from Division 5. Though they have homefield advantage, we don't think the Archregimancy is as good as the two other teams. Neither is Cataduanes. We have Squornshelous and Dance 2 Revolution leaving Division 6 with bad tastes in their mouths. Most people are probably scratching their heads at the Squornshelous pick, as they rank 4th in the world, but the other two teams they face aren't pushovers, and we think both of them are going to upset Squornshelous, knocking Squornshelous out. Dance 2 Revolution is probably underrated, but not underrated enough for us to think that they'll get through. We think that Division 7 will see the downfall of Milchama and McPsychoville from the WC28 stage. Like Division 3, the other two are just too strong. For Division 8, Praying2God and Nedalia will likely be knocked out for the same reasons the teams from Division 3 and 7 are going to get knocked out.

Going Home in the Round of 16
If we correctly remember how the World Cup works... and we're pretty sure we do...we have hosts New Montreal States going down in the Round of 16 simply because they'll be facing one of the best teams out there. Reijistania, though very strong indeed, will likely lose in the Round of 16 for similar reasons. Same with Tadjikistan and Oliverry. Our upset pick Ariddia will likely go home here as well, because though they match up fine with their Second Round opponents, they don't here. We think Bettia will probably fall in a close match to their opponents in this round, as will Casari. Ditto with Hockey Canada.

Going Home in the Quarterfinals
As we continue on down the line, we're going to say Liverpool England will meet their matches on the football field, and go down in this round. Krytenia, who we think will have an impressive World Cup in order to make up for their relatively poor qualifying round, will finally lose at this point. We also predict that Jeruselem will go down here in the Quarters to a powerful opponent, as will Total n Utter Insanity.

Fourth Place
With only four teams left to go, we'll get a bit more specific. At fourth, we have Sarzonia. They've been playing very well so far in this edition of the World Cup, probably to make up for their relatively disappointing World Cup last time. We think this strong streak will continue and the Stars will make it all the way to the semis before being taken down, and only then by a relatively small margin. We think they'll fall again in the third place match, but only because we think they'll be facing a very strong opponent.

Third Place
We doubt that Bedistan, the reigning champions from the past two cups, are going to get three in a row, so the buck has to stop somewhere. However, in our opinions, it will be a while. They are the best team in the rankings, and we think that they're going to play like it, for the most part. In our prediction, they'll get to the semis before their three-peat dreams are thwarted in a close game. To make up, we're going to say that they'll get the win in the third place match.

Second Place
In the finals, we're picking Audioslavia to fall once more. They've fallen in the finals three times before, and there's nothing that says they won't choke again. They were one of the top two teams in qualifying, and we think that their strong play will continue... until the finals, of course. Life is notoriously cruel, and unfortunately, it seems that Audioslavia is just continuously getting the raw end of the deal. Better luck next time, guys.

Champions
Well, here we are. 31 teams have been mentioned, meaning, by the process of elimination, you should know who our predicted champions are without us saying anything. But we'll tell you anyway. We're picking Starblaydia to win it all in World Cup 28. The other top team in qualifying, they've played unbelievably well, and their team looks rock solid from top to bottom. To put it as simply as possible, we really haven't seen any reason why Starblaydia won't win the Cup, so they're our selection for champion.

And there you have it. Our predictions for World Cup 28. We'll try and keep you updated for WC28, to see what happens and if we're right... or horribly off.

Praying2God

14-05-2006, 05:56

WARRIORS IN BIG TROUBLE IN WC XXVIII GROUP STAGE

The Praying2God Warriors were not done any favors for the third WC running by the draw for the group play stage of the finals. The Warriors drew two of the top 10 teams in the world and a team out for revenge for a prior beating. Who are we talking about? Let's take a look.

Hockey Canada (ranked 6th): A few WCs ago, this wouldn't have been a bad draw, considering that Hockey Canada had difficulty getting over the hump and into this round as well, but now they've conquered that and have become one of the best teams in the world. The Warriors have never met HC, but know that the Canucks will be very tough to score on.

Oliverry (10th): It wasn't that long ago that Oliverry was ranked 55th in the world, so they are definitely a team on the way up. Oliverry is a more offensive oriented team than HC, which should create for an interesting match-up. If the Warriors can stop Oliverry's offense, then they may have a chance to steal a point or more in this match.

Praying2God (26th): This is our third straight trip to this stage of the WC, but we haven't gotten past this point yet. In WC XXVII, we fell flat on our faces and only earned a point. In WC XXVI though, we only needed a point on the final matchday against WC XXVIII co-host New Montreal States to advance to the 2nd round. The result? A 1-4 drubbing that sent Crystilakere through in our place. We gave up less than a goal a match during qualifying, and if our defense keeps up that pace, we could be competitive.

Nedalia (39th): Nedalia's been pretty consistently ranked in the 30's for a while now. They always seem to disappoint come this point in the tournament, though. However, they do have an old score to settle with the Warriors from CoH XVII, as the Warriors thumped Nedalia 3-1 in a match that was not as close as the final score indicated. Expect Nedalia to come out ready to play against the Warriors when they meet on the final matchday of this stage.

Predicted Finish:
Hockey Canada-7 points
Oliverry-5 points
Praying2God-4 points
Nedalia-1 point

Rejistania

14-05-2006, 11:08

We are in the office of national coach Seletarakeledira Hanselijimijile. Maniacs room is neatly organized and by this poses a sharp contrast to Siki Rej's chaos. On his desk is a sheet of paper with the following text on it:

Divisasi Ly
mje'het Liverpool England (2)
xi'het Rejistania (7)
ly'het Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (30)
mji'het Hypocria (37)

below that, Seletarakeledira has scribbled and erased things in seleken writing (but sure as hell, we can not translate seleken texts). Suddenly someone knocks at the door. "Alamele!" says Seletarakeledira, before realizing that he used seleken and says 'come in' in rejistanian. Syku Lyku (called SyMji), the current president of the ASR enters the room. "Hejida Hanselijimijile'he" he greets formally. "Hejida Lyku'he" the seleken replies, "what brings you here?" The president smiles slightly: "You know that the group draw finished. I was speculating to get some insider information on how we'll do..." -- "I see, you want to make some efficient deals?" Of course "efficient deals" here means bets using insider information. "Not really. I just want to be informed." -- "I need some information as well. It's hard to get any information about Liverpool England. they have a much stricter media regulation than we do. ASMV in contrast hides the bit, I am interested in in pages of disinformation. Hypocria... just the same as the Liverpool'he'ny! It's like qualifying only that the teams are better." -- "Like qualifying?" -- "Playing against teams which reveal absolutely nothing about themselves while they can read our blogs and get all information they need, I hate this!" -- "This is not the Krytenian league, eh?" -- "You try to tell me I am not fit for this job?" -- "I don't want to, I just think that difficulties can help to improve and challenges are always nice." -- "Not if the entire nation is against us if we fail" -- "Against you, Seletarakeledira, not against me." -- "Discourage me, come on!" -- "I did not plan to... I was just stating facts and come on, it's not that you will be an outcast for the rest of your life. Others survived coaching the Orange-Blues as well." -- "I guess!" -- "Oh and here I have some information, you might need." Seletarakeledira skims the pages, SyMji gives him. "Where from?" -- "The ASR is related to the goverment and the government in control of the secret service, su?" -- "Oh dear, Rejistania takes soccer really really seriously... but thanks!" -- "Halen'ta! It was a pleasure."

Hypocria

14-05-2006, 12:56

The Greatest Show On Turf

Hypocria’s finest have arrived in the New Montreal States determined not to be overawed by the occasion. Drawn in a group with former World Champions Rejistania and Liverpool England, the Hyppos are rank outsiders along with friends Andossa Se Mitrin Vega. Sure we’re not going to win the cup. We’re unlikely to even advance past the group stage but Alex Santoro’s side are not here simply to make up the numbers.

“We’re here to compete not to take pictures and collect autographs”, the coach told one of the endless press conferences on the World Cup media circuit.

But to make any real impact on Group 3 the side will have to do something they haven’t managed since the qualification campaign for World Cup 24 and a 1 - 0 win in Jeruselem. They will have to beat a higher ranked side. And not just any higher ranked sides, oh no. Only World Champions Bedistan are ranked higher than Liverpool England while 7th ranked Rejistania are probably the hardest team in the world to beat. Then again, no one said it was going to be easy.

World Cup Preview

Group 1

Home advantage should be enough to see New Montreal States safely into the knockout stages. TnUI will be favourites to join them but their match against the capitalizts from Commerce Heights could have a huge bearing on the final outcome. It all means bad news for Haraki.

Group 2

Anything other than a comfortable passage through the group for Bedistan is almost unthinkable. Second place looks a straight fight between Atlantian duo Fmjphoenix and Turori but the veteran competitor Ariddia will be waiting in the wings to capitalise on any slip ups.

Group 3

Liverpool England and Rejistania. Simple. That’s what it looks like at least. But a spirited Sea Dragon side and the ever unpredictable Hyppos will take much delight in ruining things for the big boys. And you can guarantee a carnival atmosphere at the Municipal Dome when AO’s representatives meet on matchday 3.

Group 4

Starblaydia are favourites in Group 4 but the Purple Peril have been known to struggle against Tadjkistan which could see the Tigers taking top spot. Spruitland and the Islands of Qutar simply aren’t strong enough to challenge.

Group 5

Where’s your Messiah now? They may have home advantage but the monks of The Archregimancy have found themselves in a horrible group. The attacking flair of Bettia, the consistency of Casari and the talented newcomers of Cataduanes could end the host’s tournament prematurely.

Group 6

Another tough group. Squornshelous fans would have felt comfortable about progressing with their ranking of 4 but doubts may well be forming. Former champions Sarzonia will be looking to regain some ranking places after dropping to 16th and the Aces of Krytenia are no strangers to the knockout stages. World Cup veterans Dance 2 Revolution complete the “Group of Death”.

Group 7

Audioslavia have made a habit of choking on the big occasions but the Bulls will have no trouble with this group. Jeruselem too should find the going easy. Milchama and Cup of Harmony holders McPsychoville will battle it out for the wooden spoon.

Group 8

We would love to see Nedalia advance but the Lions have an uphill task as the group’s lowest ranked side. Top seeds Hockey Canada are favourites but Oliverry, the much maligned hosts of four years ago, probably don’t deserve their top ten ranking. Praying2God complete Group 8 and will quietly fancy their chances of taking second place.

Cataduanes

14-05-2006, 13:55

Islanders face Orthodox mob once again

After putting the monks out of the qualifiers for WC26 the islanders will no doubt be hoping to go one better by beating them in the forthcoming 1st round group stages of the present WC, to this end Cardinal Filipe Legazpi of Cataduanes has called on the island to pray for god to bless them in their match against the heretical monks.
A bigger danger than the Archregimancy is Casari who are the group favourites, and whose form merits such an accolade. And last but not least are Bettia who will be a very tough opponent for the Islanders to face. While this is a tough group it is considerably easier than the group that Cataduanes found themselves in for WC26 (Total n Utter Insanity, Audioslavia, Hockey Canada).

Haraki

14-05-2006, 14:48

"All bad predictions," Vargas grumbled, leafing through the papers and flipping back and forth from sports broadcast to sports broadcast. They all listed Haraki as finishing last in the group. And, to be fair, the Hawks would have a tough time of it. The most recent rankings put them in 48th, making them the lowest-ranked team that qualified for the World Cup. That combined with the 12th-ranked hosts New Montreal States, the 9th-ranked Total n Utter Insanity, and Commerce Heights in 24th, the Hawks stood at double the ranking of any other team in their group - four times New Montreal States, and an astonishing five times Total n Utter Insanity's ranking.

Yes, the Hawks would have a bad run. Not that their group was particularly hard - He was very glad not to be in Group 3 - but they would just be outplayed by everyone in the group anyway. "Well," Vargas said out loud, "they're all predicting it to be a pointless run for us in this here World Cup. Which means if we so much as tie Commerce Heights, we do better than expectations. And, damn it, we will. If we can force at least one upset, we may not be able to move on to the next round, but we can sure as hell make the predictors eat their words."

McPsychoville

14-05-2006, 15:08

'You're doing what?'

With the incapacitation of Nate Webb - the man had been found in his hotel room in a coma, and the doctors believed, from the immense quantities of sedatives in his blood, that he'd tried to overdose on sleeping pills - assistant coach Serik Leshko had taken over control of the team.

But unfortunately for the team itself, coach Leshko had some new ideas about tactics for the finals proper; his time as coach had been cut short, and to say that he was annoyed was an understatement. Was he trying to ruin the team's prospects now he had the chance?

'System Karela.'

It would appear so.

'There is no way, no way System Karela is ever going to work. No way.'

'Ah, my friend. I think that Captain's armband is choking off the blood to your brain. Would you like me to loosen it?'

Damon Arnaud gritted his teeth. 'No, sir. It's just that I can't see a defensive system working very well with our team.'

'Well, Mr. Arnaud, that is why I am the coach of this team, not you. I have the tactical ability to think my way around the problems of our opponents, whereas your job is simply to play the way I tell you to. We will be playing System Karela. That is all.'

Silently counting to ten, Damon turned on his heel. System Karela?

Bettia

14-05-2006, 15:38

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/FAB.jpg

These are interesting times for the Bettian football fan - oh, what to do, what to do? Do they travel once again to the remote monastries of The Archregimancy, or do they stay here and pray for a home win as Bettia host AOCAF 14? One thing's for sure, we're in for one hell of a ride in what appears to be an evenly matched group.

Our first opponents will be none other than the hosts themselves, The Archregimancy - now this matchup should be one for the ages... Monastic Brothers vs Muslim Brothers, The Dreamed Realm vs The Blessed Realm. Obviously the home team will have a major advantage, but if the hordes of travelling Bettian fans can make themselves heard, the home supporters could well be silenced (even the ones who haven't taken a vow of silence).

Matchday two sees the Aroras take on fellow AOians Casari, a team who have astounded many with the speed from which they have grown from footballing minnows to soccer sharks. The group favourites will be one heck of a test (the writer was going to say 'one hell of a test', but hell has no place here), and the Aroras will do well to get anything from this game.

The vital third game will see our heroes take on the Islanders from Cataduanes, a team who wowed many fans a few years ago by qualifying for the World Cup at the first attempt, then followed it up by coming within one match of the Cup of Harmony final. Don't let the lower ranking fool you, dear reader - they didn't get this far by being crap, and the Aroras have underestimated lesser teams than this and come away smarting.

So how about our Verdena neighbours? Hypocria have it all to do against Liverpool England and the karelans of Rejistania (urgh, karelans), as well as their AO friends from Andossa Se Mitrin Vega. Nedalia have also been handed a tough task against Oliverry and Hockey Canada. Apart from the Aroras covering themselves in glory, everyone in Bettia would love nothing more than to see the Hyppos and Lions upset the odds and progress to the second round... but can they? Bedistan have two AO heavyweights to contend with in the shape of Turori and current AO regional champions Fmjphoenix, along with World Cup veterans Ariddia - they really shouldn't have any trouble getting past this stage though. Spruitland have also been pitted against an AO rival, this time the much-fancied Starblaydia, who stand head and shoulders above an otherwise evenly-matched group.

So this is it... the time for talking is nearly over - is this the time for Bettian glory, or will our stay in the Dreamed Realm be a short one?

Fmjphoenix

14-05-2006, 23:52

World Cup proper starts up, qualification recap

With a thrilling qualification, fans all over Fmjphoenix have ben disappearing, returning on the grid in New Montreal States, as the World Cup proper is about to start up. In an effort for those fans unlucky enough to make it to NMS, The Fmjphoenix Post has put together a minor recap of the Vikings performence in the qualification of World Cup 28 before we go on to preview the World Cup proper.

Matchday 01: As the top seeds in the group, the Vikings had the first matchday to do extra practice to prepare for their first match away against Magnus Valerius.

Matchday 02: The starting trio of Mike Nolan, Brian Dougood and Siieranu Ijanaeil each scored a goal as Justin Keys also started off World Cup 28 off right with a clean sheet as the Vikings opened strong and defeated Magnus Valerius 3-0 in their first WC28 matchup.

Matchday 03: A full stadium cheered on Nolan as he defied all limitations of age and scored the equalizer and game winning goals and Keys made an amazing last minute save to stop New Lexington from gaining a draw and defeated them 2-1.

Matchday 04: Andrew Jenkins netted two goals and Mike Nolan scored his 4th goal of qualification as they backed Justin Keys in earning his second clean sheet of WC28 with a 3-0 victory over St. Happenin.

Matchday 05: Playing in Bazalonia was not an easy task for the Vikings, as they fought down to the very end. But Justin Keys was just better than Jeffery Constantine. Mike Nolan was better than Constantine as well, as he put a 88th minute goal past for the game winner. Keys clean sheets run up to 3.

Matchday 06: Cataduanes goalkeeper Jose Sullop denied the Vikings left and right the entire match and Butch Sacario was the recipient of his teams excellent work as he tapped the lone goal in to give Cataduanes the 1-0 win and sole lead of group 12.

Matchday 07: Wentland further sends the Vikings into despair as John Capper seemed reborn as he came into Fmjphoenix with his team and helped overpower the Vikings despite Nolan scoring his 6th goal of qualification.

Matchday 08: Coach Wash gets his team together and does some serious training, both physically and mentally, to get his players ready for the second half of qualification.

Matchday 09: Nolan takes his coach to heart and helps lift the Vikings spirits, becoming the oldest player in Fmjphoenix to net a hattrick as the Vikings dismantled Magnus Valerius 3-0 just like in matchday 2.

Matchday 10: In shocking fashion, the Vikings failed to capitalize on their consistant advantage and only netted one goal by Brian Dougood as the Vikings drew New Lexington as the standings begin to get interesting as the qualification runs down.

Matchday 11: The rock of the Vikings again was there for the leaning. Nolan scored his 10th goal of qualification as the Vikings moved back into a tie with Cataduanes for first place with the 1-0 victory over St. Happenin.

Matchday 12: Siieranu Ijanaeil scored two goals and Laura Boyd added her second goal of WC28 as Justin Keys continued his resurggence with his 6th clean sheet of the cup. With New Lexington upsetting Cataduanes, Fmjphoenix moves into sole possession of first place for the first time.

Matchday 13: Brian Dougood struck first. Toni Souletano struck back. Alfonso Boqueron headed his team to the lead at the end of the first half. Mattias Lopez Cerro headed the Vikings back into the match. Nolan scored the freekick, sending them to the next round.

Matchday 14:The match went all the way down to the line. Brian Dougood put the Vikings into it as it was 2 all going into the final minutes. Nolan put the final one through, making it 3-2, crashing down Wentland and going through to the World Cup on top of their group.

Now a look at what the Vikings will face off against in the group stage:

Group 2
1 Bedistan (1)
2 Fmjphoenix (14)
3 Turori (23)
4 Ariddia (40)

Matchday 1: vs Turori - The Vikings have yet to face off against the colony of Vilita. The Vikings and Vilita have faced off only once so it will be a fun spirited contest between the two nations.

Matchday 2: vs Ariddia - The starters of the World Cup have been slowly regaining their former glory. The Vikings defeated the Ariddians while they were getting their football system back together so this time around may not be as easy as before.

Matchday 3: vs Bedistan - If there is one top team that Fmjphoenix has had success against, it is their WC27 co-hosts Bedistan. With two victories against Bedistan, one at their home and one in the first round of WC21. Perhaps Wash will still have some magic from then for them now.

World Cup Finals Preview

And now for what you all have been waiting for. Or own half-assed guesses and thoughts on who will be doing what in which groups they are in. [size=1](the editor claims not to have influenced these at all despite moving into a 6500 sqft mansion in an expensive part of Fmjphoenix)

Group 1
New Montreal States
Total n Utter Insanity
Commerce Heights
Haraki

Its a group of oldies. ALl of these teams have been around for a long time even though two have been rebuilding and gaining rank again. Interestingly enough, we think that the group will stay as it looks right now.

Group 2
Bedistan
Fmjphoenix
Turori
Ariddia

We think we have a good chance of finishing on top followed by Bedistan. But Ariddia has refound their step and could be trouble.

Group 3
Liverpool England
Rejistania
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Hypocria

Ouch. We dont see much change here as Liverpool England and Rejistania will probably walk on.

Group 4
Starblaydia
Tadjikistan
Spruitland
The Islands of Qutar

Starblaydia should top without much trouble and we think that Spruitland will narrowly edge out Tadjikistan.

Group 5
The Archregimancy
Casari
Bettia
Cataduanes
This could be anyone's time here. The Archregimancy wont be easy to face in their homelands. After running our own simulation 100 times, we see Casari going through with The Archregimancy.

Group 6
Squornshelous
Sarzonia
Krytenia
Dance 2 Revolution

Krytenia is hungry for coffee. Squornshelous is rolling forward. Sarzonia rolls backwards.

Group 7
Audioslavia
Jeruselem
Milchama
McPsychoville

With such a gap between the top and bottom two, the only things that might change are their position on the top or bottom.

Group 8
Hockey Canada
Oliverry
Praying2God
Nedalia

This screams upsets with everything flipping around backwards.

The Archregimancy

15-05-2006, 01:08

Archregimancy Group Stage Stadia Schedule

(OOC - I swear that the interesting RP sight of Hockey Canada and Oliverry playing most of their first round matches in the desert is mere coincidence.)

Here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10622169&postcount=2) are more details on the stadia to be used.

Archregimancy Section
(please note that the smaller Monastic League venues will only be used for first round matches)

Group 5
MD 1
The Archregimancy v Bettia; Grand Lavra-MCG (80,000; Mediterranean spring)
Casari v Cataduanes; Pantaleimon (30,000; Mediterranean spring)

MD 2
The Archregimancy v Cataduanes Grand Lavra-MCG (80,000; Mediterranean spring)

Casari v Bettia; St. Sergius-Holy Trinity (25,000; Sub-Arctic spring)

MD 3
The Archregimancy v Casari Grand Lavra-MCG (80,000; Mediterranean spring)

Bettia v Cataduanes; Solovetsky (30,000; Arctic spring)

Group 6
MD 1
Squornshelous v Krytenia; Xenophon-MCG (80,000; Mediterranean spring)

Sarzonia v Dance 2 Revolution; Borisoglebsky (45,000; Sub-Arctic Forest spring)

MD 2
Squornshelous v Dance 2 Revolution; Pantaleimon (30,000; Mediterranean spring)

Sarzonia v Krytenia; Xenophon-MCG (80,000; Mediterranean spring)

MD 3
Squornshelous v Sarzonia; Xenophon-MCG (80,000; Mediterranean spring)

Krytenia v Dance 2 Revolution; St. Sergius-Holy Trinity (25,000; Sub-Arctic spring)

Group 7
MD 1
Audioslavia v Milchama; Simonopetra-MCG (80,000; Mountainous Mediterranean spring)

Jeruselem v McPsychoville; Solovetsky (30,000; Arctic spring)

MD 2
Audioslavia v McPsychoville; Borisoglebsky (45,000; Sub-Arctic Forest spring)

Jeruselem v Milchama; Simonopetra-MCG (80,000; Mountainous Mediterranean spring)

MD 3
Audioslavia v Jeruselem; Simonopetra-MCG (80,000; Mountainous Mediterranean spring)

Milchama v McPsychoville; Pantaleimon (30,000; Mediterranean spring)

Group 8
MD 1
Hockey Canada v Praying2God; St. Catherine's-MCG (80,000; Desert)

Oliverry v Nedalia; St. Sergius-Holy Trinity (25,000; Sub-Arctic spring)

MD 2
Hockey Canada v Nedalia; Solovetsky (30,000; Arctic spring)

Oliverry v Praying2God; St. Catherine's-MCG (80,000; Desert)

MD 3
Hockey Canada v Oliverry; St. Catherine's-MCG (80,000; Desert)

Praying2God v Nedalia; Borisoglebsky (45,000; Sub-Arctic Forest spring)

Sarzonia

15-05-2006, 02:14

Woodstock Daily Mail

Stars prepare for the deep freeze

by Ryan Calvin
Daily Mail Staff Writer

BORISOGLEBSKY, 14 May -- After the Sarzonian national football team checked into their hotels the night before in a driving snowstorm, Coach Dave Wilson made one of the most important decisions of this World Cup when he instructed the team to practice outside in the wintry conditions.

"We don't want to give ourselves a competitive disadvantage by not preparing ourselves for the conditions we'll be facing in this match," Wilson said. "I've got long sleeve shirts and leg warmers and whatever I can legally provide the players to keep them warm for 90 minutes. I'm also going to insist that all the bench players keep their heads covered at all times whilst they are on the sidelines."

For his part, Wilson said he will wear a winter hat and "lots of layers," as the team battles Dance 2 Revolution for only the second time in their long history. The teams played to a 0-0 draw in the first match of the World Cup XX group stage, back when Dance 2 Revolution were the world's number one ranked team and Sarzonia were an up-and-coming side. This time, their roles are reversed, but the team warned against taking them lightly.

"Dance 2 Revolution are one of the top 32 teams in the world by virtue of their being here," said midfielder Jenna Raven. "All 32 teams here deserve to be here and all the matches will be tough from here on out. We have nothing but respect for Dance 2 Revolution."

"They're on their way back to being one of the very best teams in the world," said goalkeeper Roger Treadway. "We saw what happened when we took a match for granted last time out. We won't make the same mistake this time."

While the answer to the question of whether Sarzonia can effectively deal with the challenge of Dance 2 Revolution has yet to be decided, the team swears it will be ready for the elements in Borisoglebsky.

"We play in cold weather when we play in Portland late in the season," said forward Kevin Wilson. "Granted, it's probably going to be much colder than it is in Portland, but we know how to deal with cold weather matches."

The Archregimancy

15-05-2006, 03:50

[OOC - this is in neutral third person, and should not be considered to be an Archregimancy POV post]

THE WORLD CUP OPENING CEREMONY

Those who had travelled to the Dreamed Realm for the Casari-Archregimancy and New Montreal States-Starblaydia friendlies during WC 28 qualification knew what to expect, but surely everyone else attending the opening match between the Archregimancy and Bettia were baffled. Where they had expected a state of the art 80,000 capacity football stadium, instead they saw an 80,000 capacity replica of Haghia Sophia, Justinian's great 6th century church that had been the spiritual centre of Orthodoxy for almost a thousand years until the conquest of Constantinople by the Turks.

Those expecting the relative comfort of pews were even more surprised - unless they had remembered that the Orthodox typically stand for the entire church service.

For that was what the opening ceremony of the 28th World Cup was.... just as in the sixteenth Cup of Harmony, the tournament was opened by a double patriarchal liturgy with both the Patriarch of New Montreal States and - slightly surprisingly - the Patriarch of the Holy Empire presiding. The latter was a surprise to the few who followed or cared about Dreamed Realm internal politics as the Archregimancy was an autonomous jurisdiction of the Orthodox Church of the Holy Empire, and it was rare indeed for the Patriarch to make the journey from Alasdairopolis - site of the final of World Cup 2 - to the Archregimancy. But it somehow seemed appropriate, as it provided a link of sorts between the present World Cup and that now far-off event in the dim early history of the tournament.

But that wasn't the only surprise. That richly-robed figure who seemed to be acting as some sort of sub-deacon... the one in, well, almost an Imperial box.... who.....? No... it wasn't the Archregimand.... he was standing over there.... so who...?

The Ariddians and Insanicans seemed to catch on first, which was appropriate enough given that Ariddia and Total n Utter Insanity were the only nations participating in the present tournament who had previously travelled to the Dreamed Realm for a World Cup.

It was His Imperial Majesty, the Basileus of the Holy Empire, Overlord of the Archregimancy, God's Vice-Gerent in the Dreamed Realm. And this was indeed a shock, for no one outside the Dreamed Realm had seen the Basileus since the second World Cup. Indeed, those few who had any knowledge of the Dreamed Realm believed him to be semi-mythical - but the grainy black and white footage uncovered by Ariddian historians proved without a doubt that the Basileus had put in a personal appearance. Time must pass differently indeed inside the Dreamed Realm.

So it wasn't just a double patriarchal liturgy - it was a double patriarchal liturgy with an Emperor present. There can be few more ornate occasions in the Orthodox Church. Even many of those who found the two hours of Christian liturgy rather hard and slow going had to grudgingly admit that between all of the candles, incense, gold, icons, the magnificent choir, and the constant motion around and through the iconostasis, that the Orthodox could put on a show.

Nonetheless, it was with some relief that the non-Orthodox greeted the end of the service, only to find out that they hadn't had the sermon yet....

The Patriarch of the Holy Empire stepped forward....

"Dear brothers, guests - whether Orthodox, heretical, or heathen - and friends.

Welcome to World Cup 28. It has not escaped my attention that many consider this joyous occasion to be a feast of football, and one is reminded of the Paschal sermon of St. John Chrysostom that so many of us associate with the breaking of the Lenten fast and the Paschal Feast. So my sermon today is merely a slightly adapted version of that sermon by that great Father of the Church...

If any man be devout and loveth God - or just football -
Let him enjoy this fair and radiant triumphal feast!
If any man be a wise servant,
Let him rejoicing enter into the joy of his Lord.

If any have laboured long in fasting,
Let him how receive his recompense on the field of play.
If any have wrought from the first hour,
Let him today receive his just reward through a win for his team.
If any have come at the third hour,
Let him with thankfulness keep the feast of football.
If any have arrived at the sixth hour,
Let him have no misgivings at the result;
Because he shall in nowise be deprived therefore.
If any have delayed until the ninth hour,
Let him draw near, fearing nothing from the referee.
And if any have tarried even until the eleventh hour,
Let him, also, be not alarmed at his tardiness.

For the Lord, who is jealous of his honour,
Will accept the last even as the first.
He giveth rest unto him who cometh at the eleventh hour,
Even as unto him who hath wrought from the first hour.
And He showeth mercy upon the last,
And careth for the first;
And to the one He giveth,
And upon the other He bestoweth gifts.
And He both accepteth the deeds,
And welcometh the intention,
And honoureth the acts and praises the offering.

Wherefore, enter ye all into the joy of your Lord;
Receive your reward on the field of play,
Both the first, and likewise the second.
You rich and poor together, hold high festival!
You sober and you heedless, honour the day!
Rejoice today, both you who have fasted
And you who have disregarded the fast.
The table is full-laden; feast ye all sumptuously.
The calf is fatted; let no one go hungry away.
Enjoy ye all the feast of faith:
Receive ye all the riches of loving-kindness.

Let no one bewail his poverty,
For the universal kingdom of football will been revealed.
Let no one weep for his iniquities,
For pardon has shown forth from the grave.
Let no one fear death,
For the Saviour's death has set us free.
He that was held prisoner of it has annihilated it.

By descending into Hell, He made Hell captive.
He embittered it when it tasted of His flesh.
And Isaiah, foretelling this, did cry:
Hell, said he, was embittered
When it encountered Thee in the lower regions.

It was embittered, for it was abolished.
It was embittered, for it was mocked.
It was embittered, for it was slain.
It was embittered, for it was overthrown.
It was embittered, for it was fettered in chains.
It took a body, and met God face to face.
It took earth, and encountered Heaven.
It took that which was seen, and fell upon the unseen.

O Bettia, where is thy sting?
O Casari, where is thy victory?
O Cataduanes, where is thy centre forward?

Christ is risen, and death is overthrown!
Christ is risen, and the demons are fallen!
Christ is risen, and the angels rejoice!
Christ is risen, and life reigns!
Christ is risen, and not one dead remains in the grave.
For Christ, being risen from the dead,
Is become the first-fruits of those who have fallen asleep.

To Him be glory and dominion
Unto ages of ages.

Amen"

And with that final amen, those in attendance went through one of the strangest experiences in their life, for where but a moment ago they had been standing inside the glory of Haghia Sophia, they were now sitting in the 80,000 capacity Grand Lavra-MCG as the players from the Archregimancy and Bettia took the field, added piquancy added to the occasion by the match-up between Orthodoxy and Islam. A couple of Monastic Football Association officials looked slightly grumpy at the news from the WCC that they couldn't ban the visiting fans from waving the green banners of the Prophet during a World Cup finals match, but otherwise everyone else was ready and eager for the tournament to get underway...

Nedalia

15-05-2006, 11:40

The Nedalia Lions

Lions Scream Out Conspiracy!

The Archregimancy - It is no secret that Nedalians hold grudges that are taken to the deathbed with them, and thus, they aren't suprised by someone doing the same. After viewing the total and blatant "lack of consideration and respect", according to Nedalian Football Association Vice-President, Mr. Brook West, the country is in an uproar, claiming that there is a conspiracy against them.

"Look at the draw handed to us," screamed West. "Sub-artic weather? They know full well we have a moderate-tropical temperate in our country! This was purposely done to throw us off our game! This cannot stand!"

To make matters worse, the Lions have been given perhaps the smallest venues in the entire World Cup...for all 3 of their games.

"Oh, those Archregimancy fools must be having a right laugh at us. Look at the venues they put us in. The entire stadium can barely fit half of the Lions fans who have made the trip to the so-called "Dreamed Realm" or whatever the hell (oooohhhhh) it is. Again, this was purposely done because they dont want to see our fans will us to victory! They are throwing every obstacle they can in our way!" suggest West.

But surely they must have a reason to do this, correct? One cannot logically state that there is a conspiracy brewing with no reason or backing for it. There has to be some sort of build-up, right? We asked Mr. Brook West.

"Thats the easiest question Ive ever been asked. There's two reasons: One, Nedalia is 60% Muslim. That right there is enough reason for them to hate us. In fact, Ive dispatched a letter to the Bettian FA suggesting they stay as far away from those wretched beings as possible. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, let me take you back the play-offs of World Cup 24, when we knocked the Archregimancy out. They screamed foulplay then, and theyve held a grudge ever since. In fact, I wouldnt be suprised if it was revealed that their entire purpose of existence since then was the screw Nedalia over!"

Thats that sorted, then.

OOC: Just a bit of RP fun, nothing personal!

Tadjikistan

15-05-2006, 13:44

Familiar faces

Ville-Marie - While the Tadjik Tigers enjoyed their first training behind the Stade Ville-Marie, preparing for the group stage, Coach Alexander Zaev examined his rivals and came to the conclusion that it might just be an interesting group: 'Our last match was in Spruitland, so we know exactly how this side plays. Just as they know how we do things.Its an interesting match, one that we should win. I consider the match against the Starblaydi team to be much more important, after all, they are the top team here.'
'We beat them years ago and lost to them in ASMV, though that last defeat is to be blamed on the underachieving Tadjikistan that we've managed to get rid off during the qualifications.'

The only side in group 4 that Zaev couldnt say much about was The Islands of Qutar, a side he barely knows; 'Sure, I've heard of them before but I've never seen them play. We should be the stronger side, but until I've watched some tapes of these guys, I'm not going to predict anything. The only thing that i'm going to say is that I'm gonna try to get the team to perform at 200% and at the same time hope that we get lucky.'
Zaev also refused to make any predictions about the group standings, but said he liked to see Tadjikistan on top and expects a strong Starblaydia to be atleast second.

Critic Georgi Shpagin on the other hand, called group 4 a 'group of Death' and predicted an early elimination for the Tigers, 'The team is still rebuilding, we'll have to let Strablaydia and Spruitland go, while we will get eliminated. Unless a miracle happens but I dont believe in miracles.'

Jeruselem

15-05-2006, 14:22

Mr X - Oh hi Harry. What you doing at team training?
Harry Kool - You know what ex-World Cup players are like, they can't leave the game alone.
Mr X - Soccer, it's the blood. Addictive to the day you die.
Harry Kool - So, how are the players getting accustomed for this horrid climate?
Mr X - You know, some hate cold and some love it. Some play better in these sub-arctic conditions
Harry Kool - I'm not fan of the cold climate.
Mr X - Me, used to cold. I can sit the desert night for a very long time unless it's too windy

Harry Kool - So, any problems?
Mr X - Some players may not last 90 minutes in this weather, so I'm going have dig into the reserves.
Harry Kool - That's why we bring them
Mr X - Hmm, well I have get the whip cracking.

Rachel Goldstein - Hi guys
Mr X - You Harry's girlfriend now?
Rachel Goldstein - Yeah, why?
Mr X - Oh, I wondered why you always hang around him.
Harry Kool - Well, you can't deny a Jewish girl for persistence. She's been bugging me since World Cup 27

Mr X - Me, I'm a sad single Orthordox Christian soccer coach.
Harry Kool - Come on, I'm sure there's someone out there for you
Mr X - If I learn to control my temper. Trying to kill referees is not something girls go for.
Harry Kool - Don't give up. I'm Catholic and I've this little Jewish girl
Mr X - If we make the quarterfinals, then there's hope for me yet.

Rachel Goldstein - So, you been charged for assault?
Mr X - They dropped the charges after the Jeruselem FA intervened
Rachel Goldstein - Oh, I hope not corruption and bribery
Mr X - No, no one liked that referee so they forgave me

Ariddia

15-05-2006, 15:12

Star players seek glory for final Cup?

Ariddians have been following with interest as most predictions place them dead last of group 2, and others suggest that “may just surprise” their opponents. The Rouge-et-Noirs already know Fmjphoenix, having lost two games to them in their earlier days, but will be facing Turori for the first time. As for Bedistan, the last encounter between the two nations yielded a one-nil victory for Ariddia. . . but that was back in World Cup 10. On paper, Ariddia is now Bedistan’s easiest opponent.

Meanwhile, now that the euphoria of qualifying has had time to fade, some are beginning to wonder whether, for many of Ariddia’s top players, this may be the final Cup. A significant number of Ariddian players – including captain Ue Alt, goalkeeper and second captain Sandrine Leduc, star attacker Frédéric Clément and key defender Yves al Jahdali – are in their mid-thirties, and are taking part in their fourth Cup already.

So far, only midfielder Michael Swimmer and substitute defender Peter Roberts have confirmed that they will indeed be retiring after World Cup 28. Other players concerned merely brush off the question, or say they have not yet thought the issue through properly. But it is expected that many familiar faces will indeed be gone in four years’ time, raising the question of who will replace them. Some are suggesting that Adam Seul – who will undoubtedly remain as coach – should draw from the pool of talent in the country’s female team ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ariddian_women%27s_football_team), which appears a likely option.

Shortly before boarding a place for New Montreal States at Rêvane International Airport, Michael Swimmer was asked: “If Ariddia fails to make it past the second round, what will you feel when you retire after the game against Turori? Will you be pleased that Ariddia qualified, or disappointed you didn’t make it further?”

Swimmer smiled and answered, unsurprisingly: “Both, of course.” To which a cheerful Tim Wald, nearby, added, “Ask us again once we’ve defeated Turori!”

This may be the last time many of these players compete together as a team, but they are travelling to New Montreal States in good spirits, and proud to have accomplished what many Ariddians have long been waiting for. . .: qualifying for the World Cup.

Dance 2 Revolution

15-05-2006, 20:14

Fixtures Released

D2R prepare for harsh lessons on the way back to the big time

Dance 2 Revolution arrived in Borisoglebsky preparing for their face-off with Sarzonia. Only once have the teams come face to face, exactly the same time in World Cup 20, which ended in a 0-0 bore draw.

Dance 2 Revolution have an extremely good record when it comes to the Group Stages. In the 8 times that D2R have qualified, only 3 of those times have D2R failed to go onto a further round. And D2R have never failed to win in any of their group stages...can this be a first? We hope not!

Group Stages Previous Record:
Played: 24
Won: 10
Drawn: 7
Lost: 7
Goals For: 33
Goals Against: 31
Goals Differential: +2

And the previous record against the people in the group goes as follows:

Squornshelous

World Cup 17 2nd Group Stage Day 3: Dance 2 Revolution 4 – 2 Squornshelous
World Cup 19 2nd Group Stage Day 2: Squornshelous 2 – 2 Dance 2 Revolution
World Cup 20 Final 16: Dance 2 Revolution 0 – 1 Squornshelous

P3 W1 D1 L1 GF6 GA5 GD+1

Sarzonia

World Cup 20 2nd Group Stage Day 1: Sarzonia 0 - 0 Dance 2 Revolution

P1 W0 D1 L0 GF0 GA0 GD0

Krytenia

World Cup 21 Day 7: Dance 2 Revolution 1 – 3 Krytenia
World Cup 21 Day 14: Krytenia 0 – 2 Dance 2 Revolution

P2 W1 D0 L1 GF3 GA3 GD0

According to the records, we have a very even record against all opponents in the group, however, the past is the past and we should not get over ourselves

MD1: vs. Sarzonia (@ Borisoglebsky)
MD2: vs. Squornshelous (@ Pantaleimon)
MD3: vs. Krytenia (@ St. Sergius-Holy Trinity)

Haraki

15-05-2006, 22:53

Hawks Get Their Upset!
From the Atherlon Times

Tom Bucket, New Montreal States. Last night the Haraki Hawks played against number one Group One seeds Total n Utter Insanity and managed a win 2-1 over these football giants. Since most predictions put Haraki scoreless at the bottom of the group and Lloyd Vargas promised that just one upset would put them above all expectations, the Hawks seem to have managed that, although it was a close game.

Most of the game's credit for Haraki's win goes to goalkeeper Mark Stone and defencemen Bruce Forrester and Jonah Menike. Total n Utter Insanity's offence dominated much of the game, and it was only the defensive efforts and clearing kicks of the defence, and some spectacular saves by Mark Stone, that kept this victory from being an overwhelming defeat.

Haraki's offence performed fairly well, although poorly in the first half, getting no goals and only five shots on net, three of which were by Mike Zendar. The half came with the score still 0-0, and it was only in the second half that things started to pick up.

Although Total n Utter Insanity began the scoring with a particularly fine goal from just outside the box that even a sliding Jonah Menike and a diving Mark Stone couldn't block, the Hawks managed to come back fast and hard. A goal by Manuel Cortes at sixty-seven minutes tied the game, and ten minutes later Mike Zendar caught a breakaway, only to be pulled off the ball by his shirt by a defender, granting him a penalty kick. He managed to curve it nicely over the wall of players and past the keeper for the game-winning goal. The devoted section of Harakians that had travelled to New Montreal States for the game were on their feet screaming.

Both teams desperately tried to score further, but Haraki had pulled it off and the game ended with the Hawks up by one goal. The Hawks face host nation New Montreal States on Matchday Two of the group stage. AT

Tom Bucket is the Atherlon Times' football journalist.

Haraki 2 - Total n Utter Insanity 1

(50) Forward
Cortes (67)
Zendar (78)

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

15-05-2006, 22:58

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg

Terminators Prove #2 Ranking - Sea Dragons Decimated

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from New Montreal States

Group 3

Liverpool England 3 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 0
Rejistania 4 Hypocria 0

The Sea Dragons faced their first test of WC28 today, and the result very closely resembled the results from WC27. Liverpool England easily walked away from this one with a 3-0 victory.

From the very beginning it was apparent which side was ranked #2 in the world and comfortable at this stage, and who was ranked 30th and still trying to adjust. Unami Banta-N’bai and Micah Swift were overwhelmed with the assault put on them, while Pablo Iglesias and Porche Alexander could find absolutely no room to get off a decent shot. But these are just examples and no one on the Sea Dragon Roster fared any better. Normally solid at keeper, even Shaun Conarky showed signs of nerves that worked against him. Even the hot-shot younger players could not manage to accomplish anything. All in all the match served just one point - and Liverpool England made that one all too clear.

Next up is a match with powerhouse Rejistania. Although they are ranked behind LE, we felt all along that this would be our worst chance at an upset. Now gaining points from them are vital to any chance we have to move forward. Rejistania looked in top form today as they easily handled Hypocria 4-0. At least in these first matches, the predictions have come true. All signs seem to show that the Sea Dragons and Hyppos have no place in this group.

But tomorrow is a new day. And if the qualifiers taught us anything - nothing is guaranteed. Perhaps we can pull the upset over Rejis. Perhaps Hypocria can pull an upset over LE. That would mean that moving on would come down to the final day where we play the Hyppos. But for now we have to try and find a way to get past the brick wall that is Rejistania.

The Archregimancy

16-05-2006, 00:04

SOME MINOR HOUSEKEEPING

Apologies for the lack of a link to the scorinated MD 1 results, which are here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=479768&page=2)

There are also now rosters (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=10963752&posted=1#post10963752) for both NMS and the Archregimancy

Ariddia

16-05-2006, 00:25

Exactly as expected

Ariddia went up against Fmjphoenix in New Montreal States’ Coyote Stadium today, in what many expected would be a sound thrashing for the Rouge-et-Noirs. There were no surprises. Despite a fiercely confident performance of the ulek, successive waves of Ariddian attacks were unable to achieve a single goal. A well-aimed shot by Nam at a difficult angle was superbly saved by Fmjphoenix keeper Keys. And a shot by Kyaw, which had Keys defeated, rebounded off the goal cage, to the dismay of supporters.

Fmjphoenix’s defence was excellent, but Ariddia’s performed impressively as well. Yves al Jahdali led the efforts to keep opponent attackers away from a clear shot at Leduc’s goal cage, and only rarely did attackers make it through. Repeated attempts were bound to prove fruitful in the end, however, as Fmjphoenix proved the better side and Howard rewarded his team with a goal in the fifty-sixth minute.

Prospects for the Rouge-et-Noirs are already looking bleak. Fans are still cheering them on, though, pleased simply to see them in the final rounds of a World Cup.

Also in group 2, Bedistan logically defeated Turori by two goals to one. Hosts New Montreal States overcame Commerce Heights 4-0 in front of a roaring home crowd, while Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, supported by many Ariddians, struggled and lost 0-3 to Liverpool England. The Archregimancy, with the steady support of a stadium packed with quietly dignified monks, inflicted a 2-0 defeat on a Bettian side perhaps wearied from standing for two hours through their opponents’ national anthem. . .

A Ariddian win against Bedistan or Turori seems almost impossible, but some fans will draw hope from the notion that upsets do happen. Meanwhile, the players have returned to their hotel without comment, and will doubtless be training hard all day tomorrow to prepare themselves for the upcoming challenges.

The Archregimancy

16-05-2006, 00:32

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

WORLD CUP TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden-Throated

"So.... Fr. John..... What an inspirational opening ceremony"

"I still have a lump in my throat, Fr. Nicholas. Personal appearances by both the Patriarch and the Basileus - who would have thought?"

"Never mind that astonishing shift from Haghia Sophia to the Grand Lavra-MCG, Fr. John."

"Magical stuff, Fr. Nicholas."

"But what about the match itself?"

"Well, in truth we were expecting better things from Bettia, but the army of their prophet seemed a little overawed by the occasion, despite a last-minute WCC ruling that the MFA couldn't ban the visiting supporters from waving the green banner of the prophet on religious grounds.

The match was realistically all over inside 20 minutes as - thanks to this slightly fortunate 5th minute goal off a free-kick from returning midfielder Fr. Polycarp the Venerable, and this sublime 18th minute chip over the advancing goalkeeper by Fr. Silouan - we were already 2-0 up and coasting. Bettia rarely threatened, and they'll really have to raise their game if they're to reach the second round now, especially with Casari's tight - but well deserved - 1-0 win over Cataduanes"

"What about the other groups, Fr. John?"

"Well, our fellow co-hosts New Montreal States are off to a flyer with a 4-0 thrashing of Mammon-worshipping Commerce Heights. Money is the root of all one-side scores, as I believe St. Paul said. There were some surprises too, with Spruitland edging Starblaydia, and Praying2God just getting the better of a Hockey Canada side who seemed to struggle in the desert conditions of St. Catherines - the Canucks must be deeply upset at not playing all of their matches in Solovetsky's arctic conditions. But the big upset has to be Haraki's dramatic come-from-behind 2-1 victory over Total n Utter Insanity, where Hawks goalkeeper Mark Stone almost single-handedly kept the clearly superior Insanican attack at bay."

"So there's everything to play for, Fr. John?"

"Indeed, Fr. Nicholas - and far be it from me to make any predictions...."

"I'd say so, Fr. Nicholas.

Sarzonia

16-05-2006, 01:56

[OOC: Note: Strong language warning. Consider yourself warned.]

"Fuck. What just happened?"

"We lost, that's what you dumbarse!"

"Shut up you..."

Before very long, two players, later identified as midfielder Jarret Sanderson and defender Mike Cole, were exchanging punches on the floor of the locker room. Coach Dave Wilson overheard something as he finished his press conference and walked in to see assistant coach Brett Hancock trying desperately to restore order.

"Enough! Guys, enough," Wilson shouted. When the players didn't appear to hear him, he dived in and physically pulled Sanderson off Cole. The player swung around and was about to deliver a haymaker until he realised who would have been at the other end: Wilson.

"You better have an explanation for this and it better be good," Wilson shouted, loud enough for the Dance 2 Revolution locker room to hear. Their audible celebration of their upset 2-1 win over Sarzonia came to a screeching halt when Wilson's voice thundered through the thin wooden walls of the stadium in Borisoglebsky. The silence on the other side would have been deafening had it not been for Wilson.

"Jarret, if you don't want me to kick your arse off this Goddamn team right fucking now, you better tell me what happened."

"It's between me and Cole," Sanderson said.

"Jarret, that's not an answer. I want an answer or you're on the next plane home."

"I can't tell you that, coach."

"All right, Mike, what happened?"

"I wondered aloud what happened, Sanderson here disrespected me, I told him to shut up and then all hell broke loose."

"Shut up you lying son of a bitch," Sanderson snapped.

"You've got your time to give your side. Let's hear it," Wilson said.

"I can't tell you that. I can't believe he did," Sanderson said, glaring at Cole, who glared back.

"At least he told me what the hell happened. He's going to be suspended for the next match, but you're going home. You've got the rest of the night to clean out your locker," Wilson said.

"But, but coach, you can't be," Sanderson said.

"Watch me," Wilson fumed. "You're off the team."

Whether that dismissal was short-term or not, the fact was that even if Wilson were going to be a lame duck coach, he sure wouldn't act like it.

Hockey Canada

16-05-2006, 02:17

BULLSHIT!

After what could almost be clearly defined as a rigged match, the wannabe orthodox Archregimancy's pre-game meal presented to the Hockey Canadian team was proved to be poisoned. 4 Members of the kitchen staff at the hotel where the Hockey Canadian team is staying along with the other teams from group 8. The upset reaction from players, coaches and fans was apalling. When the revised Hockey Canadian team marched onto the field, things looked a little different from what Canuck fans were used to.

Kulkarni was being replaced by 21 year old call-up Maartens Bhryshnikinnov, Kansu was replaced by 41 year old Mikhail Olovsk, Perrault by unknown player dubbed "Fifty-six" by fans because of his number but no name, and Thomas by 16 year old Yuli Kharaton. The game was dubbed as "incredibly boring" but still fans were adament on making The Archregimancy pay. The hotel is now in the process of being frozen from the inside using high-powered air conditioning to reduce the temperature to what Hockey Canadians are used to. Only the Oliverrian part of the hotel will remain unfrozen. The original team is expected to be back the remaining two games.

Casari

16-05-2006, 02:19

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

Hard fought 1-0 victory over Catadunes leaves Casari needing one more win
Livingston goes down with sprain

It was a tough 1-0 victory the Casaran side pulled out today, but not before seeing one of the keys to the team's success limp off the field.

It was a bad tackle from behind that saw Livingston go out in the 37th minute back to the locker room and saw the old man Ari Saienz come back on to play out the match. The team managed to show some resolve after the injury, however, with Roe pounding a 21 yard free kick into the net just before the end of the half.

Afterward, the second half managed to pass without incident as a little thuggery went on in return. Letra and Lemurry took part in some questionable double-teams on the opponent's forwards in a thinly veiled look for retribution, eventually both drawing yellow cards.

After the match, GM/C Hill had much more to say on the early injury of Livingston than the actions of her own players.

"This is the World Cup. The level of competition is high enough that playing to injure our players shouldn't be an allowable defense." She said. "We're still confident in our chances. Saienz has the most international experience of anyone on this year's squad, and he still can run with the rest of the team as well as taking on a leading role up front."

Casari's next match puts them up against the artful attacking of Bettia. Preliminary reports seem to conflict, some saying Hill will slide the wings back into more of a 3-3-1-3 formation, while others say she will press the attack with the opposite formation. Either way, it looks like an interesting match tomorrow.

New Montreal States

16-05-2006, 04:37

PALADINS STORM PAST CAPITALIZTS

Dome, Villeneuve prove too much for CH as Paladins slam down 4-0 win

NEW MONTREAL - 115, 771 raucous Montrealais did in a talented but backfiring side from Commerce Heights last night at the Paladin Dome. The 11 of those who were actually on the field didn't so much as earn a win as piggyback off the shouting blue-and-silver horde.

Paul Chasson, in net for the Paladins, opened the evening with a spectacular diving save that showed that, despite the presence of NMS defensive backs, scoring on the Paladins will be at least a bit of a challenge this time around. Charles Pilon collected the kick off the save and passed it upfield in a neat, orderly procession that ended up with Gilles Villeneuve finding the back of the net not quite five minutes into the match.

The Paladins refused to let up, with Chief Paladin Frog eschewing the formal opening ceremony at the Grand Lavra in the Archregimancy in favor of a seat on the sidelines to lead his nation in a massive shoutdown of what few CH fans who managed to score tickets for tonight's match.

The Capitalizts seemed dismayed by the noise generated by the fans, conceding momentum to the States, who took advantage of every chance they got. CH's defence battled valiently enough, but it was only a matter of time before the inevitable occured, and the inevitable came in the form of young Petr Hunyadi, making his World Cup debut, chipping in a bounce off the pole with the air of a seasoned professional seven or eight years older. 2-0 Paladins, and the game barely a quarter done.

As the half wound down, the Paladins put forth a final burst of effort, cheered on by the crowd. With 90 seconds left before break, Hubert Labranche and Villeneuve broke open downfield. Labranche set up Villeneuve on the right wing for a curving rocket right past the Capitalizt keeper, and the Paladins headed into the locker room up by three.

The first part of the second half was dominated by the Paladins midfield, which effectively shut down the CH attack. With 20 minutes left to go, Branstone took the unusual step of replacing Paul Chasson, with a glittering eight saves in his clean-sheet performance, with Gilles Villeneuve and sending Chasson up front. Villeneuve didn't disappoint, with two extra stops to keep CH off the board, and Chasson picked up the final goal with a missile off the inside of the post, to the loudest cheers of the night. Branstone said: "We made a bet before the match, he kept the sheet blank, and he got to go play forward, and Villeneuve got to go keep the net. Glad to see it turned out so well."

Chasson: "That was awesome. How many people get the chance to play forward in the World Cup?"

Villeneuve: "I have no idea how the hell Paul does this job day in, day out. I have so much easier, and I'm glad."

The Paladins return to action at the Paladin Dome against the Haraki Hawks, fresh off a stunning upset of Total n Utter Insanity.

PALADINS 4 - Villeneuve 4, 44, Hunyadi 23, Chasson 79
COMMERCE HEIGHTS 0 - None

The Archregimancy

16-05-2006, 08:05

THE MONASTIC TIMES

MONASTIC FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION DENY INVOLVEMENT IN CANUCK POISONING

Casari Authorities Invited to Investigate

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

MFA officials were today forced to deny poisoning militant atheist anarcho-communists on the Hockey Canadian national team prior to the Canuck's upset loss against the Calvinist Sabellian heretics from Praying2God.

"We are appalled by this incident" said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity. "We will be immediately launching a full and transparent investigation into the outbreak of poisoning, though we note that they wouldn't be the first to suffer from Fr. Simeon the Silent's cooking - the St. Catherine's refectory is notorious for the odd bout of purely accidental food poisoning caused by the monastery's desert climate."

MFA officials, with the full approval of the Holy Synod and the Archregimand, are believed to be inviting officials from Casari to help the investigation, as the involvement of Catholic schismatics would help prove the transparency of the process.

Ordinary Archregimancy citizens are also said to be upset at the implication that the MFA was directly involved in poisoning the Canucks. "Why would we want to do that?" said Fr. Rufinius the Silky Baritone "If we were going to intentionally poison anyone, surely we would have been far more likely to poison the heretical Warriors rather than the beyond-redemption Canucks"

Fmjphoenix

16-05-2006, 08:41

Vikings one up Ariddia 1-0 in finals opener
Next up swimming in the waves with Turori

Anyone who knows anything about football knows that when you talk about a match involving the Vikings, you are usually talking about high goal scoring affairs. They are not normally noted for their defensive play. Justin Keys is helping lead an impresive young defense in Fmjphoenix that shows that they can do more than just score. Thanks to Keys brilliant play in the net and consistant pressure the Vikings gutted out a 1-0 victory against the Rouge-et-Noirs.

Ariddia started off strong, dominating the Vikings strikers and making the whole team play back. During a ten minute span, the Rouge-et-Noirs fired shot after shot, amassing a total of 13 shots in the ten minutes. Justin Keys has already showed his great talent on the pitch before, but never did he raise his game up to another level. With more grace than could be expected, he deflected each shot away despite his teammates never being able to gain control of the deflections. It could have been bad though, as Hanifah Kyaw placed an excellent shot that was well out of Keys range. Luckily, it was just a little off and rebounded off of the crossbar. The half ended with Mike Nolan managing to get far enough past the Ariddians defenders and had a 35 yard shot get deflected by Sandrine Leduc.

The Vikings were able to feed off of the energy they started at the end of the first half and gained a quick advantage and sent shot after shot, challenging Leduc with everything they had. It was a hard hit shot by the quiet Desmond Howard that did in Leduc and gave the Vikings the lead in the 56th minute. The Rouge-et-Noirs fought back and never gave up, but Kayla Mik’ala was always wherever the ball was. Her consistant pressure never gave the Ariddians a decent shot to get back into the game.

In the other Group 2 matchup, Bedistan soundly defeated Turori 2-1. Heading into matchday 2 leaves many opportunities still to happen. Next up the Vikings head to the Dragon’s Lair in Sorel to face off against Turori. This could very well set the path to the second round. Expect no less than 100% from the Vikings.

World Cup 28 Records: 9-2-2
MD01: -BYE-
MD02: Fmjphoenix 3 - 0 Magnus Valerius
MD03: Fmjphoenix 2 - 1 New Lexington
MD04: Fmjphoenix 3 - 0 St. Happenin
MD05: Fmjphoenix 1 - 0 Bazalonia
MD06: Fmjphoenix 0 - 1 Cataduanes
MD07: Fmjphoenix 1 - 2 Wentland
MD08: -BYE-
MD09: Fmjphoenix 3 - 0 Magnus Valerius
MD10: Fmjphoenix 1 - 1 New Lexington
MD11: Fmjphoenix 1 - 0 St. Happenin
MD12: Fmjphoenix 3-0 Bazalonia
MD13: Fmjphoenix 2 - 2 Cataduanes
MD14: Fmjphoenix 3 - 2 Wentland
------------------------Second ROund------------------------
GS01: Fmjphoenix 1 - 0 Ariddia
GS02: Fmjphoenix ? - ? Turori
GS03: Fmjphoenix ? - ? Bedistan

Vikings Goalscorers
M. Nolan 13
B. Dougood 5
S. Ijanaeil 3
A. Jenkins 2
L. Boyd 1

Tadjikistan

16-05-2006, 08:59

Good start for strong Tadjiks

Ville-Marie - The Islands of Qutar are one of those teams the Tigers have never played against before, ranked 35th in the world, this was the weakest team in Group 4, but that did not mean they would be easy to deal with. All the teams that have reached the World Cup group Stage, have proven their abilities during the qualifications.

The Tigers were very careful today, when facing the Qutar team and did not make any moves in the first twenty minutes, hoping to find out quickly what the strength of this opponents was. The Tadjik defender saw a few good attacks on their box, but never good enough to get past Suchomlinov. Then as they were getting to end of the first half, the Tigers made their first move, but Saradov got no further than a high shot on the top bar of the Qutar box.

In the second half, the Tigers renewed their offensive and put more pressure on the Qutar team, forcing them into the defensive. a little while later in the 70th minute, a deep pass was sent to Zyrianov who opened the score. Two minutes later Saradov made Tadjikistans second goal, while taking advantage of a misunderstanding between two Qutar defenders. And those defenders saw their team sink away even further in the 83rd minute when Elisarov cashed in on a penalty.

For the Tigers this was a perfect way to start their World Cup run, and with news from the other match in the group reaching them, they were even jubilant, all except for Alexander Zaev :'Its definitly a good thing that Spruitland managed to win against the Starblaydians, because we know we can beat Spruitland, but a draw between these so sides would have been favourable, a second win would then put us in a very comfortable position. Tommorrow we'll get the opportunity to break away from the rest of this group against Spruitland, we can beat them, we've already proven it before. Problem is that they know that and they've got better since the qualifications too, just cross your fingers and hope that I'm doing a good job.'

Friends watch:
We beat New Montreal States a couple times in the past, but that doesnt mean would see them as easy prey, Tadjik fans have begun to sympathise with this side and they quickly became friends, while they are no longer regarded as preys. They made quick work of Commerce Heights, former hosts themselves, 4-0 was the score.

ASMV is another one of those teams that the fans like alot, not just because of previous encounters, no this nation has organized an interesting invitational tournament. They may not give Tadjikistan a higher ranking, yet being invited and participating is still an honour. Just hope the 3rd Draggonnii Inviyatii will be better for the Sea Dragons than the start of this World Cup: they were terminated by Liverpool England.

The Third nation in the group of friends wasnt a friend at all in the beginning. The older fans among us still remember the riots in Dushanbe when the Krytenians came. But Tadjikistans former coach Isserson glued together the part of the broken vase and brought the teams closer again, so close that they became friends. Therefore the fans hope that Krytenia will survive group 6 where they tied to Squornshelous, 1-1 was the score.

MD1: Bye
MD2: Atheistic Right - Tadjikistan D 0-0
MD3: Tadjikistan - Radke W 4-2
MD4: N. Ceasarea - Tadjikistan D 1-1
MD5: Apo. Kittens - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD6: Tadjikistan - Pastorville W 4-0
MD7: Tadjikistan - Spruitland D 0-0
MD8: Bye
MD9: Tadjikistan - Atheistic Right W 2-0
MD10: Radke - Tadjikistan W 0-3
MD11: Tadjikistan - N. Ceasarea W 3-0
MD12: Tadjikistan - Apo. Kittens W 2-1
MD13: Pastorville - Tadjikistan L 2-0
MD14: Spruitland - Tadjikistan W 1-3
------------------WC28-----------------------------------
MD1: Tadjikistan - The Islands of Qutar W 3-0

Tadjik Goalscorers:
Saradov - 10
Tulberdiev - 6
Zyrianov - 6
Elisarov - 3
Kirponos - 1
Maximov - 1

McPsychoville

16-05-2006, 10:25

Wanted: One Whistle Blower, Dead or Alive

Things were going swimmingly for the new disciples of System Karela. Putting eight players behind the ball and breaking occasionally for counter-attacks actually seemed to not be sucking copious amounts of cock because Jeruselem actually hadn't found a way past the defense yet, and when 'Druggie' Bob Dopan was stretchered off the pitch - the official excuse was that Spillane's tackle had broken something, but we just think he was getting withdrawal symptoms - things were looking further up than ever.

The robed fourth official held up one finger. No, he wasn't swearing at someone in the crowd, he was calling for one minute of stoppage time. One attack was beaten away, a second went out for a corner that was harmless, and then the whistle blew.

The Psychos were ecstatic; in the first game of the finals they'd held the #8 seed to a no-score-draw. The fans were happy, the players were happy, everyone was happy - except for the manager. He'd spotted what no-one else had; that whoever it was had blown the whistle was not the referee. A couple of the players tried to get onto the pitch, to defend against the oncoming Jeruselem attack, but it was too late.

Some bastard had cost the Psychos a historic.

Wanted: One Whistle Blower, Dead

Jeruselem

16-05-2006, 12:28

Rachel "What's going on?"
Harry Kool "Apparently, we won the game ... I thought it was a nil all draw"
Rachel "Oh, I heard a whistle ... game over. Nil all?"

Harry Kool "Me, too but I looked at the clock and there was some time left. We scored I think while the McPsychoville players were celebrating their draw"
Rachel "Wait, that wasn't the referee?"
Harry Kool "Apparently not. Looks like the Jeruselem players were more awake to the time than the McPsychoville players."

<Whistle blows>

Rachel "That was the final whistle?"
Harry Kool "Sound like it. So who blew the other one?"
Rachel "There was a guy with whistle walking around"

Harry Kool "Oh, I saw him too. Didn't think he was up to much."
Rachel "So, we have three points. Not the way to win though. I feel sorry for McPsychoville."
Harry Kool "Well, the System Karela almost worked."

Harry Kool "Poor old Druggie. He had one of his better games and chop, someone got him"
Rachel "He didn't look to good after being carted off the field either"
Harry Kool "On the other hand, he always looked stoned but in this case - more like dead stoned."

Rachel "Well, I'm going to talk the referee what happened. I'm confused"
Harry Kool "The fans looked confused too. The Psycho fans are crying or made angry"
Rachel "I bet that whistle guy is not alive tommorow."
Harry Kool "Not the best way to win at all. We didn't deserve that win except the Jeruselem players were more awake to time keeping."

<SMS appears on Harry's Kools phone Audioslavia 2 Milchama 2>

Harry Kool "Hey look, Audioslavia drew with Milchama two all"
Rachel "That will the Psycho fans pissed off."
Harry Kool "I know it will. I expected the Audioslavia to win so we are top dog!"
Rachel "Well, the score helps the Psycho fans in some way. They have a chance."

Rachel "Damn! <lots of swear words>
Harry Kool "Calm down"
Rachel "Sorry, Nedalia lost to Oliverry 0-1 and Hockey Canada lost to our old rivals Praying2God 1-2."
Harry Kool "Oh ..."

Praying2God

16-05-2006, 16:13

OOC: On a personal note, I had to smile when I saw HC's team food poisoning RP, since that's an RP tactic that I've used before when I've been upset in a match that I should have won.

IC:

WARRIORS PULL OFF SURPRISE UPSET OF CANUCKS

To the surprise of most of the soccer-playing world, the Warriors opened up group stage play of the WC XXVIII finals with a 2-1 upset of 6th ranked Hockey Canada. The Canucks had to make some changes to their starting line-up because of a bout of food poisoning that struck the team after eating the hotel food. No word yet as to who may be responsible. However, the Canucks still managed to grab a 1-0 lead before Ashley Gore scored only her second goal of WC XXVIII to tie the score off a backpass from Thomas Larson. Then early in the second half, Thomas and fellow forward, Kelly Carter, who's also been extremely quiet in WC XXVIII, executed the give-and-go to perfection, as Thomas scored to close the scoring. Oliverry, the Warriors next opponent in the group play stage, defeated Nedalia 1-0 in the other Group 8 game. The winner of the Warriors/Oliverry match-up would be in very good position to qualify for the 2nd Round, which likely means the Warriors will have to beat Nedalia in the final group play match to have any chance to qualify, though this is the WC, and stranger things have happened than a team ranked 26th in the world upseting back-to-back top 10 opponents to put themselves in very good position to advance to the 2nd Round. We'll just have to wait and see what happens.

P2GSA DENIES ANY INVOLVEMENT IN FOOD POISONING CASE

The P2GSA released a statement yesterday denying any involvement in the food poisoning of the Canucks before yesterday's match with the Warriors. They said it was "a sad and regrettable occurence" and that "we would rather have beat them when they were at full strength than at their weakened state." The P2GSA has promised full cooperation with any potential investigation.

Sarzonia

16-05-2006, 18:32

NEWSMAN: "Hello everyone, I'm Ben Radner with Channel 6 news. We're live at a press conference being held by Sarzonian national football team coach Dave Wilson. Let's listen in."

WILSON: "Thank you for coming. I know things are a little strange here in this dreamlike realm, I think is what they call it. I guess it could be a nightmare for us right now." WILSON looks out at the assembled masses, scrunches his eyebrows for a moment and begins speaking.

WILSON: "I'm sure you've heard by now that there was a fight in the locker room between two players in the starting 11. Midfielder Jarret Sanderson has been sent back to Sarzonia for insubordination and for instigating the fight as we are able to piece together from eyewitness accounts. Defender Mike Cole is suspended for the match against Krytenia."

RADNER: "Coach, what will this mean for the starting 11 since both players were starters?"

WILSON: "Right now, defender Jeff Comstock joins the starting 11 as the third back, replacing Mike Cole. We're leaning toward starting Ettore Salivani to give us more of a veteran presence in the midfield and enhance our leadership there. Ettore has been a longstanding member of our AOCAF tournament sides and we think he's slightly better as a starter than he is coming off the bench."

REPORTER: "Coach, what will this do to the team's chances of keeping the streak against Krytenia alive?"

WILSON: "Frankly, the streak's the last thing on my mind. I just want us to get past this unfortunate incident and get back to playing Stars football. With Krytenia and Squornshelous playing to a draw, we're only one point behind a playoff spot at the moment. We still have a good chance at advancing to the knockouts, but we have to play well. The fact we've got two key members of our starting 11 out doesn't help."

DIFFERENT REPORTER: "What is Sanderson's status for the rest of the World Cup and beyond?"

WILSON: "He's off the team for the rest of this World Cup. As for the future, that's going to be something he and I are going to discuss when we get back home."

RADNER: (to camera) "There you have it, folks. Salivani and Comstock enter the starting 11 in place of the suspended Sanderson and Cole. Midfielder Jarret Sanderson is off the team, Cole is suspended for one game. Reporting live from The Archregimancy, I'm Ben Radner, Channel 6 News."

Nedalia

16-05-2006, 19:24

The Nedalia Lions

Loss to Start Things Off

The Archregimancy - Dismay fell upon Nedalia last night as they left the stadium heartbroken, having more than matched Oliverry in terms of play out on the pitch. However, it was not meant to be, as the Lions AO counterparts scored in the 87th minute, putting Nedalia's record in the World Cup proper 0-0-4 for all-time.

"Its a tough loss, its tough to take in," claimed manager Brent Vent. "We played our game, and for the most part, we were right there in it with a chance to take it all. But experience won through in the end, and we let ourselves slip towards the end. You cant let that happen, especially against a team such as Oliverry."

Way back in the World Cup 24 Qualifying Phase (Group 9 to be exact), the two teams matched up against one another, with a 3-1 victory for Oliverry countered by a 2-0 for the Lions. Since then, they have played only once prior to their game last night, in the AOCAF 10 tournament, where Nene and Tim James scored in another 2-0 victory for the Lions. While both players were present on the pitch last night, neither looked anywhere close to the superstars they are supposed to be.

"Dont get me wrong, Nene has been superb the entire campaign. Without him, I dont think we would have qualified," said Vent. "But this is most likely going to be his last World Cup. He is the greatest Nedalian footballer of his time, possibly of all-time, and for him to disappear in such an important game cant happen. He has to find a way to bounce back next game, or else we're in trouble."

While the offense looked tired and uncreative, suprisingly it was the defence that kept the team together. Ben Turner and Mohammed Khadra were resilient and determined in the middle, rarely making a mistake and always looked poised and ready. On the left, Gradd Corona always looked like a threat going forward, and Hans Lamm was presenting an equally challenging time on the right. The midfield faded in and out of the game, save for captain Trent Hardman, whose position infront of the defence kept the game flowing for the Lions. It was, amazingly, on the attacking from that the team suffered.

"We have two matched to right this wrong and attempt to move into the 2nd round," suggest Vent. "I was watching the Jeruselem highlights, and I was so impressed I forwarded it on to my team. We could learn a thing or two from them. They kept things simple, and their defence was so tight that their goal was never troubled. When it was time to score, they did so with maximum effiency. Thats a team we have to emulate."

Elsewhere, Hypocria got jacked by Rejistania and Bettia lost to host The Archregimancy. Come on boys, make us the Verdana Trio that never was proud! Show 'em what we're all about!

Squornshelous

16-05-2006, 20:15

Our Date With Destiny. . .

Squornshelous goes into their second match with one point
It's not exactly the surge of momentum the Pschychoes would have hoped for going into a pivotal match, but we'll have to make do. Squornshelous fought to a 1-1 draw with Krytenia in their first match of the group stage, and now face Dance 2 Revolution, who staged a 2-1 upser of Sarzonia, placing themselves, at least for now, at the top of the group. This is an extremely important match for Squornshelous to win, as we face Sarzonia, who will be a tough challenge, in our final matchday. If we can defeat D2R, the four points we get will almost guaruntee us a spot in the next round. We would really like to be able to perform well two cups in a row, something which has always seemed to escape Squornshelan teams. As analysts from Mr. Chuck Norris noted, after every single Squornshelan semifinal appearance, our team has exited in either the first or second round in the following cup.

Final Score:
Squornshleous 1-1 Krytenia

Squornshelous' Scorers:
V. Petrov: 8
Xenakis: 5
O. Petrov: 4
Syvatov: 4
Kamaka: 3
Harris: 2
Peterson: 2
Khabarov: 1

Dance 2 Revolution

16-05-2006, 21:22

D2R pull off major shocker

Wait a minute, we've heard this before....never mind.

Dance 2 Revolution overcame the odds yet again by taking advantage of hostilites within the Sarzonian camp to defeat them 2 goals to 1.

Sarzonia took the lead within the first 20 minutes when a floored cross was sliced into the goal by the Sarazonian forward. At half time it all looked to be going to plan, with Sarzonia having another 3 or 4 clear cut opportunites to add to their tally.

However, this spell for Sarzonia was to end soon after the restart. Another Sarzonain push towards the D2R goal broke through to the middle, where Jarrett Sanderson prepared to shoot. However, Mike Cole appeared sick of Sanderson's increasingly persistant and innacurate range shooting and dispossesed him, but the resulting pass was easily gathered by Mitnav. Mitnav then launched a huge kick up towards Über Jnr., who was playing for the suspended Di Sakura, Über Jnr. took the ball down, flicked it through the legs of the only defending Sarzonain and chipped the ball over the outcoming Sarzonian goalkeeper to make the scoreline read 1-1.

The game only continually got worse for Sarzonia, with Sanderson and Cole continually at each others throats, D2R pummeled at the Sarzonian backline, but Treadway managed to keep the D2R strikeforce at bay.

But it wasn't the D2R strike-force that got through for D2R's 2nd. Near the full time whistle, a strike from Kinitka Maeda was saved from Treadway, but Sanderson was in the wrong place at the wrong time and the ball bobbled in after hitting him. Cole was furious, and not for the first time Sanderson and Cole got in each other's faces.

The full time whistle blew. D2R walked into the dressing room with cheers from the crowd. The crowd, from the D2R side at least, cheered. However, the Sarzonians were not retreating into the dressing room yet, whilst manager Wilson had rushed to the post-match conference Sanderson and Colel were being seperated in front of the Sarzonian fans, who were filled with jeers.

FT:
Sarzonia 1 (Wilson 17')
Dance 2 Revolution 2 (Über Jnr. 52', Sanderson O.G. 89')

Next Match: vs. Squornshelous.

History favours no-one. The present favours Squornshelous. We'll see.

OOC: Sarz, if you want anything changing from my RP just say, after all, you RP'd first

New Montreal States

16-05-2006, 21:55

Not a cutoff. ALL RPs BELOW THIS POST HAVE BEEN COUNTED.

Casari

16-05-2006, 23:16

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

Casaran Investigative Team takes the portal to assist in Canuck Poisoning investigation
"Even though we're Catholic Schismatics, it's nice to be called in to help."

At the invitation of the Monastic Football Association and the Holy Synod, officals from the Casaran Soccer Authority and an investigative team from the Tyrellian Police Force took the gate to the dreamed realm to assist in the ongoing investigation over accusations of poisoning by the Hockey Canadian Team.

The group, headed by William Evari, Chief Detective in the Tyrellian Police Force, and James LeVari, the CSA's head of competition, is expected to cooperate closely with Monastic investigators in determining what, if any, foul play was involved the night before the match.

The duo have some previous experience with Soccer-related investigations, as they have previously cooperated in several investigations looking at possibilities of matchfixing and West Baronies' use of "subliminal messages" in their away locker room.

"It's more than possible that there was a case of food poisoning." Evari said to authorities prior to his departure. "But it's not fair to our hosts to immediately proclaim it premeditated. Particularly when they're in a different group. If they had anyone who they wanted to poison, you'd think the Casaran team would be at the top of the list. After all, we're schismatic Catholics and in the same group."

Milchama

16-05-2006, 23:43

Alexandria Times-Tribune-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer

Sports Section

Milchama Tie Audioslavia!

Unfortunately due to time constraints we cannot give you a full match report so yeh!

Final Score:
Milchama 2 (Faren 27, Albentine 86)
Audioslavia 2 (2 players we don't have the time to look up)

Milchama Man of the Match:
J.J. Faren- His crosses were excellent.

OOC: I wanted to do a full RP assuming I had 48 hours after the scores to do so but then suddenly now I don't. Can somebody please tell me how much time I have in the future so that I don't have a crap RP like this again?

Krytenia

17-05-2006, 00:44

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png
Midfield Marathon
by Bill Tulos in The Archregimancy*

WHO said the age of surprise was dead? Dance 2 Revolution find themselves the shock leaders of Group Six with a two-one taming of Sarzonia; meanwhile, two of the group's heavyweights bludgeoned themselves to a standstill in a one-all draw.

The midfields dominated proceedings, with the ball spending an astonishing 83% of the game in the central third. When chances came, they were often no more than half-chances at best. Indeed, Petrov's opener for the Pschychoes was one of these half-chances as he latched onto a loose ball and slammed it past Nourisse, who wasn't helped by the deflection off Aspell. Marlon Friday's equaliser was just as scrappy though; he poked the ball home after Josh Quinnell's shot was well saved by the Squornshelan custodian.

No prizes for guessing our next match; yes, it's the Sarzonians once more. This match, however, takes on a more interesting perspective; a Krytenian victory will cause repercussions across the globe as it will eliminate the former world champions with a game to spare. Both teams are sure to be fired up for what promises to be a cracking encounter. The question remains though: Can the Aces break their fifty-plus year hoodoo and finally get the W over their biggest rivals?

SQUORNSHELOUS - 1
V Petrov 19

KRYTENIA - 1
Friday 66

TOURNAMENT SCORERS
M. Friday - 6
J. Quinnell - 6
J. Jaffacake-Phillips - 5
G. Kennedy - 1
Tejai - 1

QUALIFYING SCHEDULE
MD1: NO FIXTURE
MD2: A v ALG D 0-0
MD3: A v TLM W 3-1
MD4: A v GEI W 2-0
MD5: A v TYN W 2-0
MD6: H v TLC W 2-1 (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD7: H v TUR L 2-3 (New City Stadium, Avidia)
MD8: NO FIXTURE
MD9: H v ALG D 0-0 (The Mound, Secklow)
MD10: H v TLM W 2-1 (ArenaWest, Aigburth)
MD11: H v GEI D 2-2 (Denbigh Park, Ousevale)
MD12: H v TYN L 0-1 (Mellion Lane, Davisham)
MD13: A v TLC W 3-0
MD14: A v TUR L 0-3

FINALS SCHEDULE
R1M1: N v SQU D 1-1
R1M2: N v SRZ ?????
R1M3: N v DDR ?????

*NB: Mr Niblick still appears to be researching [read: drinking] in New Montreal. So you're stuck with his second-in-command.

New Manhattan

17-05-2006, 00:48

Group Matchday 1 cutoff. Scores will be available once Arch gets on.
OOC: Are you in some sort of a hurry, or do you want to rig it so only the hosts get a chance to RP, thus giving them 4–0 wins? :p

The Aeropag Tribune—We’re too busy plotting revenge to write something here!

Sports—Paladins lie, cheat, and steal their way to victory
NEW MONTREAL, NEW MONTREAL STATES—At the beginning of the match against hosts New Montreal States, the Capitalizts expected a fair game. Maybe they’d win, maybe they’d lose, but at least they’d get to play.
They paid for their ignorance with a blowout loss.
In the third minute, a Capitalizt forward tried to put the ball in the net for the first goal of the match, but Paul Chasson, the Paladin keeper, ran from the other end of the goal with superhuman speed to save the ball. The Capitalizt coach called for a suspension of the match due to the obvious interference in the match, but the referee refused.
Two minutes later, the Paladins had advanced the ball into the penalty area, where Gilles Villeneuve kicked the ball directly at the keeper with impossible speed, knocking him down and putting the Paladins up 1–0. This time, due to the injury, the coach had some time to investigate—he encountered one of the few Capitalizt fans at the game sitting in the front row, who happened to be a scientist. He was able to analyze the ball, but discovered nothing. “I got these kind of useless results when I was in the Dreamed Realm,” he said. “Some of their monks must be laughing at us right now.”
At halftime, the score was 3–0, when the official attendance figures were released—only 1 284 Capitalizts were at the game, but the stadium was full. The coach knew this could not be right, as Capitalizt SLANI had at least five thousand tickets. The only possible explanation was that the missing tickets were stolen.
The coach soon got sick of watching his players fight against the cheaters, and left the job to his assistant. He called up the Archregimancy’s football association and yelled at them continuously for several minutes, pausing only long enough for them to unsurprisingly deny all knowledge of the incident.
The investigation is still ongoing, and any new evidence will be published as soon as possible.

New Montreal States 4 (Villeneuve 5*, 44, Hunyadi 23, Chasson 79)
Commerce Heights 0—FT

*OOC: “not quite five minutes into the match” is the fifth minute, not the fourth :p

The Archregimancy

17-05-2006, 01:17

This is in fact the RP cut-off.

Naughty, naughty NMS for posting a slightly early RP cut-off! I condemn thee to being spanked by three-score virgins, all between the ages of 16 and 19.

As previously announced yesterday in the discussion thread, the MD 2 scores will be posted around noon, Eastern Australia Time (GMT+10).

In answer to Milchama's query, the idea is to do the group stages of the finals with a 24 hour turnover (assuming NMS's server is cooperating), but the knock-out stages will have a 48 hour turnover.

The Archregimancy

17-05-2006, 03:50

MD 2 scores available here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=10971718#post10971718)

Are Dave Wilson's days as Sarzonia's coach numbered?

Can New Montreal States maintain their spectacular form?

Can Hypocria take a point from anyone?

Are Bedistan on track for a third consecutive title?

And just what's going on with that wacky group 7 anyway?

You'll all know soon enough.

New Montreal States

17-05-2006, 05:00

THREESCORE VIRGIN SPANKINGS POWER STATES PAST HAWKS

4-1 laying down of the law sends Paladins into knockout rounds

NEW MONTREAL - The atmosphere in the Paladin Dome home lockers seemed a bit, erm, overly festive, for some reason your correspondent failed to grasp at first. The entire team - as well as coach William Branstone to boot - were sporting large, goofy smiles and seemed overly reluctant to sit down. Female clothing was lying all about. And a pile of laundry in the corner began making inexplicable giggling sounds when our photographer tripped over a piece of fishing wire set up for the purpose by midfielders-prankster Charles Pilon and Jacques Toussaint.

Some brief investigative reporting conducted by your correspondent, assisted by Marcel D'Ibreville of 67 Sports and Robert Holmes of the Valdemont Daily Anglo revealed the astonishing fact that threescore young virgin blondes, all between the ages of 16 and 19, were hiding in various hastily selected spots throughout the room. Nobody's quite sure how they got there in the first place, although young Petr Hunyadi said "They said they were here to punish us," this being the only explanation of the matter the Presse-Journal Devoir could obtain from the players.

The team reluctantly took the field to the cheers of another sellout crowd, although arm-twisting by the international media had ensured that a full compliment of tickets were made available to Hawks fans, who grabbed every seat they could get for the match. The players attracted attention, not to mention a variety of catcalls from the Harakian side, when not a man amongst them sat down after the anthems were done. The entire side would remain standing for the duration of the match.

Morale seemed to be quite high on the field, as even the usually surly Marc Tessier had a broad grin, and the highly energized Paladins side quickly began driving the ball down the field deep into Haraki territory, ending with Jacques Toussaint collecting his first goal for the Paladins this campaign on a header on an off-the-post shot by Paul Chan.

The Paladins then stepped back and defended their lead in their usual effective manner, with Chasson being forced to demonstrate his superior goal-keeping talents yet again. A particularly nice save opened the way for a counterattack that ended with Hubert Labranche standing in front of a prone Haraki keeper. A somewhat errant shot from Hugh Faulkner careered off Labranche's head and into the net, to laughter and applause from the stands.

The half wound down, and the Paladins found themselves in a bit of a dogpile as they sprinted for the lockers, with Pilon and back Yannic Laurier suffering mild contusions in the process. They would be replaced in the second half by Pierre St-Simard and Fabrice Labranche, respectively, once the Paladins actually took the field.

Yes, the team was, in fact, somewhat tardy in emerging from the locker room, we really have no idea why, but the end result was the team sprinting onto the field with the Haraki side already dribbling downfield. Chasson wasn't able to beat the opposing offense into position, and Mike Zendar put the Hawks on the board to the intense amusement of the Haraki fans.

An extremely red-faced Jacques Toussaint, taking over the quarterbacking job of the slightly injured Pilon, led the midfield up in the attack, ending with Hubert Labranche setting up his younger brother Fabrice for the latter's first-ever World Cup goal. Toussaint himself would grab the final score of the match in the 67th minute.

As time ran down, the Paladins piled onto the field for a very brief celebration, then piled back into the locker room and barricaded the doors. The only contact they offered to the press was a note in glittery purple ink saying: "C. Pilon and Y. Laurier to start against TnUI. At least when we're through with them."

PALADINS 4 - Toussaint 11, 67, H. Labranche 33, F. Labranche 49
HARAKI 1 - Zendar 46

TOURNAMENT SCORING

Toussaint 2
Villeneuve 2
Chasson 1
Hunyadi 1
F. Labranche 1
H. Labranche 1

Casari

17-05-2006, 05:04

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

Joy of qualifying soon marred by rush for Tadjik/Spruit gear
Fans pray- Please, God, don't let us play Starblaydia again

However, there's one hell of a match with Bettia to look at first.

The typical lineup was a bit... different than usual.

Usually, Edward Loransi would start on point, with Ari Saienz and Edward Roe on the wings. Alberto Larini would be the Fore-Mid behind them, Leonard Fillmore and Welam Delo to either side in the mid, the ever-spirited Javis LeMurry in the half-back slot, with the All-dominating Tyrellia City Duo of Will Samson on the left and Brian Nelson on the right, sandwiching Scott Nermeier. Lastly, Scott William's in goal, but we really didn't see much of him today.

When the team took the field, however, Leriani was in the place of Fillmore, Nermeier was missing, Larini seemed to be lining up too far forward, and somehow the team's token female, Lari Elsise, had wandered onto the pitch and was playing outside of Roe on the right wing. It took a second for the Casaran Media to realize that they were looking at a 2-1-3-4, and it was going to be one of those kinds of matches.

The game started at a high pace and showed absolutely no signs of stopping for anything. By the 5th minute, Roe had drawn a yellow for a little shoving as the referee made a token effort to keep control of the match, but it was easy to see that he had eaten a few to many Cheetos before the match and was in danger of being left behind.

The first goal was a thrilling Roe header in the thirteenth minute as Elsise managed to wing one in on an odd angle and Roe emerged from a mass of players to make contact and redirect the ball. The Bettian reply came 4 minutes later as William's redirect of a direct shot at goal just wasn't enough. The teams retired for the half, looking a bit winded but with the score level.

The teams came back looking fine once again. It didn't take long for Casari to begin loading the goal, putting in three between the 50th and 70th minutes to close the deal.

While an exciting match, there was only about 4 mintues of excitement before the sense of terror came through again.

We might, again, have to play Starblaydia.

Undeterred, what Casaran fans who don't have tickets for the Casari-Reg match are leading up on Tadjik and Spruit Merchandise, intent on trying to get whatever tickets they can to cheer on whoever can keep us not playing Starblaydia.

But otherwise, it looks like another long night from here in the Archregimancy.

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

17-05-2006, 07:12

http://http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg

Draw Earns 1st Ever ASMV Point in WC Proper

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from New Montreal States.

Today the Sea Dragons faced off against the fearsome squad from Rejistania. We would rather have been fed to actual Sea Dragons than face this squad, but we really had no other choice. So it was either forfeit the match and look like complete sissies or take the pitch and come out looking the same. Hmmmm…. Might as well play the damn thing. After all, Rejistania had only crushed the Hyppos by 4. Surely they could do much worse to us.

The match started with both defenses in top form. Neither side was willing to give an inch. And neither did. For 90 minutes both squads tried to find a way past the other, and both failed miserably in that effort. The final whistle blew with the score still an amazing 0-0. Let me state that one more time - ASMV has earned a draw with a top 10 squad. Unbelievable. Rejistania is said to be the hardest side in the WC to score on. The Sea Dragons have taken another step towards that mark as well.

That brings up a very interesting match with our Hypocrian friends in the final match of the group stage. We really like these guys and would love nothing more than to have a nice relaxed match against them. But there is one small problem with that. We still have a slim shot at making the next round.

Liverpool England has earned their spot and will face Rejistania. Against everything we know, we will be pulling for LE to completely destroy Rejis. Why is that you ask? Because if we end up even on points with them, we have to make up a 7 point goal differential to move on. That really sucks. That means we need a huge win over our friends and we also need a huge win by LE. Knowing their win must come against Rejis really sucks as well. But hey, we can dream right? After all we did earn our first point ever in the WC itself after 4 straight losses at this level.

Go Sea Dragons!!!!!!!!!!!
And Go…….Liv…..er…pool…..En….gland!!

There. I said it. Uhggg.

Fmjphoenix

17-05-2006, 07:20

Vikings charger over Turori into the second round
Matchup against Bedistan to determine second round opponent

Before they even took the field, the scoreline read; 'Bedistan 1 - 1 Ariddia'. The Lions did their part to seal qualification. Mike Nolan and Andrew Jenkins did their parts as well, helping send the Vikings into the second round for the 6th consecutive time by defeating Turori 3-1.

The Dragon’s Lair was packed full. Green and blue dominated the stands today. Both teams went right into the match full pace. Right from the go, The Eels came right out at keeper Justin Keys. Fmjphoenix struck home first, with Jenkins heading the goal in off of a wonderful cross from Laura Boyd. Her pass lifted over two defeners right to the head of Jenkins, who sent it to the left side of the goal for the 1-0 lead after 17 minutes of play. Unfourtunetly, the lead did not last long, as the Eels came right back hard and equalized in the 20th minute with their star striker taking advantage of Keys being out of place. That score would remain all the way to the end of the half, but it didn't end smoothly. An Eels defender was slapped with a red card for intentionally kicking Brian Dougood hard in the shin. The referee wouldn't listen nor budge from the defenders pleas that he was just going after the ball.

Sadly for Turori, their departed defender was only the beginning of the bad news. In the 48th minute, Nolan drilled a 20 yard shot right through the hands of Turori's goalkeeper giving Fmjphoenix the lead. Ten minutes later, Nolan struck again, sliding into a lose ball that narrowly lofted over a charging keeper for a 3-1 lead. Not even a minute later though, a projectile came darting from the crown and hit assisstant coach Mariano Rodriquez in the back of the head. The assailant was unidentified and uncaptured and Rodriquez left the bench and did not return. The rest of the match was uneventful as the Eels could not come close to any decent shots.

Initial reports diagnosed Rodriquez with a mild concussion. He recieved treatment at the stadium and left with the team. The Vikings victory coupled with Bedistan's win over Ariddia have locked up Group 2 solid. The Vikings will face off against the Lions to determine first/second place. The Vikings history against Bedistan goes in their favor, but the Lions are coming off of back to back World Cup victories and are the number 1 ranked team. That doesn't mean that things are set in stone yet.

Fmjphoenix: 3 (Jenkins 17: Nolan 48, 58)
Turori: 1 (Striker 20)

World Cup 28 Records: 10-2-2
MD01: -BYE-
MD02: Fmjphoenix 3 - 0 Magnus Valerius
MD03: Fmjphoenix 2 - 1 New Lexington
MD04: Fmjphoenix 3 - 0 St. Happenin
MD05: Fmjphoenix 1 - 0 Bazalonia
MD06: Fmjphoenix 0 - 1 Cataduanes
MD07: Fmjphoenix 1 - 2 Wentland
MD08: -BYE-
MD09: Fmjphoenix 3 - 0 Magnus Valerius
MD10: Fmjphoenix 1 - 1 New Lexington
MD11: Fmjphoenix 1 - 0 St. Happenin
MD12: Fmjphoenix 3-0 Bazalonia
MD13: Fmjphoenix 2 - 2 Cataduanes
MD14: Fmjphoenix 3 - 2 Wentland
------------------------Second ROund------------------------
GS01: Fmjphoenix 1 - 0 Ariddia
GS02: Fmjphoenix 3 - 1 Turori
GS03: Fmjphoenix ? - ? Bedistan

Vikings Goalscorers
M. Nolan 15
B. Dougood 5
S. Ijanaeil 3
A. Jenkins 3
L. Boyd 1

The Archregimancy

17-05-2006, 07:54

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

WORLD CUP TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden-Throated

"So.... Fr. John.... Cataduanes.... A win sends us straight into the second round without the need to worry about Casari..."

"That's indeed the case, Fr. Nicholas, but let's first catch up with some of the other World Cup news - like these accusations of premeditated food poisoning from the Hockey Canada camp"

"Ah, well, Fr. John... I think there's a slight case of sour grapes there. I know the Canucks must be feeling the heat playing two matches in the unfamiliar desert environment of St. Catherines, and they're hardly the first group of pilgrims to fall victim to the St. Cat's refectory cooking, so I don't doubt they did come down with food poisoning. But premeditated? I know that as a nation we don't have much of a reputation for tolerating militant atheist anarcho-communists, but it's been said before, and I'll say it again here... first of all, poisoning is terribly un-Christian, and even if we were to poison somebody, surely we would have been more likely to poison the heretics from Praying2God?"

"I see your point - but hopefully the Casaran investigation team can get to the bottom of this unfortunate incident"

"And what about New Montreal States, Fr. John?"

"Well..... I don't know what the Patriarch of the New Montreal States Chruch thinks, but I can assure you that the Holy Synod of the Archregimancy would take a dim view indeed of our team being spanked by three score comely lasses of virtue true, and this isn't a morale-boosting tactic that the MFA expects to introduce for our own squad. Anway... on to the match...."

"Yes, please, Fr. John - I understand it was a cracker!"

"That it was, Fr. Nicholas - let's look at the highlights"

-------------------------------------------------------

15th minute
"...and the Cataduanes squad are looking very comfortable - they're rumoured to have trained by attending several Orthodox liturgies to prepare for the pre-match preliminaries, and they're playing some excellent football. Lim's passing has been exemplary... and it's another through pass from Lim... It's through to Sacario.... and, oh my.... an excellent shot from the Hell-bound young schismatic, who sends his team into a 1-0 lead.

28th minute
"...it's been all Cataduanes so far, and our lads are looking very flat after their solid opening win over the Bettian Muslims. Catholicism is obviously no impediment to quality play today. And it's Lim again! Again he sends it through! And again it's Sacario.... and. oh dear... again the young heretic scores. Cataduanes's conversion rate is certainly better than the Archregimancy's today. Where was Fr. Dmitri?

35th minute
"....and it's a crunching tackle from Fr. Michael the Greater on Lim - who's been the star of the show today for this surprisingly excellent Cataduanes side. And the referee rightly shows Fr. Michael the yellow card. There's no excuse for that sort of play - he'll be doing penance for at least a week for that uncharitable tackle. And it looks as if Lim's down. I do hope this isn't serious, but he's being stretchered off the pitch.... and the visitors are sending in defensive midfielder Marron-Vega - understandable given their 2-0 lead

45th minute (first half injury time)
"....Cataduanes have looked a very different side since losing Lim, and Fr. Polycarp and Fr. David are gradually exerting some pressure in the opposing half.... Fr. David sends it left to Fr. Andrew the Twice-found - who sends a magnificent first time pass into the area.... Fr. Silouan! Fr. Silouan scores! God be praised! The Archregimancy pull one back with the last kick of the half!

69th minute
"....free kick to the Archregimancy on the edge of the area. Cataduanes are really hanging on here - what a blow the loss of Lim has proven to be - though the good news from the locker room is that it's just a slight strain, and he should be back for the visitor's final group match. Fr. Polycarp - whom age simply does not wither - has been really bossing the midfield this half. What a masterstroke to recall him from retirement for the tournament! Fr. Polycarp lines up the free-kick.... and IT'S A GOAL!!!! A MAGNIFICENT FREE-KICK! Sullop's been solid in goal, but he couldn't stop that!

78th minute
"...and the home fans are now singing a round of Hallelujahs in perfectly harmonised polyphony - what an inspiring sound for the lads. But Ruedas wins the ball for Cataduanes.... He runs with it, cuts inside, sends it forward to Sacario... Sacario must score!!!!! But no.... he's pulled down by another crunching tackle from Fr. Michael the Greater..... This must be a penalty - and surely a second yellow for Fr. Michael..... But no! The referee refuses to even grant a free-kick! He's surrounded by screaming Cataduanes players, who simply can't believe they've been denied a penalty, and I must say that it's my Christian duty to agree with the schismatics... I simply can't see why Fr. Michael is still on the pitch after that tackle, and there'll surely be some hard questions asked in post-match confession tonight...

89th minute
"....Cataduanes have looked completely deflated since being denied a penalty, but Lopez Cerro and Boqueron have stayed solid in defence... and Boqueron knocks another long-range Fr. David shot behind for a corner.... Fr. Michael the Lesser runs up to take the kick, and Fr. Michael reaches it first.... Sullop parries it... and DISASTER FOR CATADUANES!!!! It bounces back off the otherwise excellent Boqueron's heel for a last minute own goal!!! Well, you couldn't script this... a header from Fr. Michael - who shouldn't even be on the field - causes havoc that leads to an own goal by the player who's arguably been Cataduanes' best player since the loss of Lim... The Lord moves in mysterious ways indeed....

-----------------------------------------------

"And that, Fr. Nicholas, was that...."

"Oh my! What about Fr. Michael the Greater? What's happened there?"

"I can exclusively reveal, Fr. Nicholas, that the MFA has decided to voluntarily suspend Fr. Michael for the final group match against Casari following what they refer to as 'an unfortunate example of un-Christian sportsmanship' by the towering central defender. I understand he'll be replaced by Fr. Nicholas the Twice-blessed."

"And any idea who we'll be facing in the second round, now that we've qualified - God be praised - for the knock-out stages?"

"No.... but it'll be either Tadjikistan, Starblaydia or Spruitland, so we're not expecting an easy match - but through God all things are possible. As we indeed proved today"

Cataduanes

17-05-2006, 09:38

Islanders kick off in the finals

As the finals approached the Islanders were engaged in a tight training regime, Coach Jose Manua maintained a media blackout citing 'a need to concentrate' as the reason. The first fixture of these world cup finals for the Islanders kicked off against Casari, a team who despite there somewhat recent arrival on the international have justly carved a reputation for themselves however thankfully the Islanders were not here to make up the numbers. And while losing 1-0 the Islanders certainly made Casari work for the 3 points however the Islanders disciplinary problems came to light again with Lopez Cerro's brutal tackle on Livingston leading to the Casaran player being stretchered off, amazingly after much consultation the referee failed to even book Lopez Cerro who in my humble opinion was lucky to still be on the pitch! However Home side remained bouyant and duly took the lead on the 44th minute with curving free kick that swerved passed the stranded Jose Sullop.
The second half had little or no flowing football with the both sides increasing the agression, Letra and Lemurry were both booked for both commiting two footed tackles on Carlos Guarin. Many minor incidents of tempers overboiling continued to halt any chance of the match opening up.
Coach Manua reply to the charge of the agressiveness of his squad was ''look i want them to be like the Matodors back home, be fearless and brave and do whatever is necessary! this is the world cup not a beauty contest!' critics back home in Cataduanes and the neighbouring nations across the UNFR region citing the fact that the Islanders reputation for entertaining football was being darkened by the agressive and sometimes violent conduct of the team but Manua was bullish in his reply 'what is the problem with the press do they want us to stop fighting already? we are facing tough teams and we must do what we can to compete so if that means sometimes we have to be a little cynical for the sake of the team then so be it'.

Casari 1 - Cataduanes 0
OOC: Sorry for missing MD1 had a bout of the flu that decked me for a couple of days.

Ariddia

17-05-2006, 09:44

Group 2 closed

Few Ariddians actually had their hopes up for the second match in this round – against Bedistan, ranked best team in the world – but many were, no doubt, at least hoping for a goal. The Rouge-et-Noirs, despite their emphasis on attack, again failed to score. . . but, perhaps just as surprisingly, conceded only one goal.

With Fmjphoenix having defeated Turori three goals to one, the third matchday will be a mere formality. The two group winners may well choose to rest their top players, and Ariddian coach Adam Seul has hinted that several reserve players may be fielded for the Rouge-et-Noirs in the match against Turori.

Elsewhere, Rejistania’s famously defensive playing backfired, as a skilled ASMV squad pulled off a surprising nil-all victory, staying in with a chance to qualify. Ariddians will be wishing them all the best. The most open group remains group 7, where a struggling Audioslavian team may still qualify, and no-one is yet guaranteed a spot in the second round.

“Time to prepare for the Draggonnii!” Ariddian forward Nam Hyok-Jun was heard saying. It is uncertain as yet, however, how many players will be prevented from attending due to club commitments, and how many will have chosen to retire from international football before the event.

“I hope most of the team decide to stay,” Seul admitted. “We’ve done well in the World Cup. We’re doing steadily better all the time, and I think we can do well in the Draggonnii Cup.”

Cataduanes

17-05-2006, 10:17

Islanders face the Monks

Matchday two for the Islanders saw them facing the Archregimancy at the Grand Lavra, with the religious significance of the fixture the Islanders had attended a mass headed by the team padre, Father Alonzo de Monzon, in the hope of divine inspiration, and whether it was the Ave Maria or the Paternoster it worked, from the start the Islanders played some good flowing football, with neat passing and intelligent runs by the wingers and 15 minutes in the visitors went ahead with Butch Lim's excellent pass being superbly converted by Sacario, the silence of the home fans was tempered by the near hysterical screaming of the 5000 or so Cataduaño fans that had made the long journey to follow there side. And the Islanders continued to dominate, denying the Monks space and possession and on the 28th minute the hosts were punished again with Lim and Sacario linking up to put the Islanders two goals up. However cynicism reared its ugly head on the 35th minute with Fr. Michael the Greater hard tackle on Butch Lim leading to the young midfielder sustaining an injury that led to his replacement, Marron-Vega was brought on to replace him. However the loss of Lim was a blow and Cataduanes soon lost the initiative and began themselves to be denied space and possession, in particular the midfield seemed unable to cope with Toni Souletano seeming tired and uninterested, this led to his substitution on the 52nd minute by Felipe Quintanilla. However this failed to stem the pressure and the Home side got a goal at the end of the first half with a superb conversion by Fr. Silouan of Fr. Andrew the Twice-found´s cross.

The second half saw the Islanders weathering constant forays by the Monks who began to open up more and more shots on goal, by the midway point of the second half the Islanders resolve was beginning to crumble and the Monks levelled the score with a stunning freekick from Fr. Polycarp on the 68th minute. This goal seemed to rejuvenate the Islanders who began to counter attack and on the 78th minute the bringing down in the box of Butch Sacario by Fr. Michael the Greater looked to be certain penalty but to everyone’s surprise, including the Archregimancy´s bench, the referee waived play on refusing to even contemplate a booking let alone a freekick or penalty, this prompted an angry Cataduanes side to barrack the referee who at one point had sought the protection of the linesmen form the angry Islanders squad with Mattias Lopez-Cerro and Jorge De Haro both receiving yellow cards for dissent.

This was one situation from which the Islanders did not recover, and they looked limp as the hosts proceeded to resume the attack and on the 78th minute the home side took the lead form a set piece when Jose Sullops parry of Fr. Michael the Greaters header was deflected into the goal by Alfonso Boqueron. This goal seemed to utterly demoralize the visitors who just held on till the final whistle.

''What a travesty! which heretic bribed the ref! I cannot believe that dirty Greek monk got away with that, its simply daylight robbery'' was Jose Manua's response. While team padre Alonzo de Monzon was quoted as a saying 'what do you expect from heretics, i don’t know whose worse, the orthodox, Muslims or the Protestants'.

The win seals the hosts passage to the next round regardless, the Islanders however face Bettia in a fixture about pride if not much else.

The Archregimancy 3 Cataduanes 2

Jeruselem

17-05-2006, 12:40

Jeruselem Government News

NOT AGAIN!

God damn it, why does Jeruselem have to things the hard way? Group 7 in World Cup qualifiers got turned upside down. Firstly the team called McPsychoville defeated Audioslavia! Yes, the Slavs have lost two games in a row and play Jeruselem next. McPsychoville's one nil win was rather like it's last game except it was the McPsychoville team who scored the winning goal and took all three points.

Milchama have almost booked their spot in the 2nd round. They defeated a rather flat Jeruselem 3-1 to show seeds don't always win. The game was one-sided and the scoreline flattered Jeruselem really as the Milchama allowed a consolidation goal at the end, but the damage was done in the 1st half with Jeruselem losing the half badly. The Jeruselem coach blamed himself for the loss using the wrong tactics.

This means Milchama lead group 7 and can made the 2nd round unless they lose to McPsychoville and Jeruselem beat the Slavs. If they win or draw, they make it.

McPsychoville are 2nd on 3 points. If they beat Milchama, they make it. A draw would allow them to make depending if Jeruselem lose their game. If Jeruselem draw, McPsychoville make it on goal difference if they draw. If they lose, a Jeruselem win would push then out.

Jeruselem need to win really. A win would guarantee 2nd spot, but a draw is tricky. Jeruselem WANT Milchama to win and to win big, if the Crusaders draw with the Slavs. A loss is not acceptable. Jeruselem is 3rd due to goal difference only.

Audioslavia are almost out even if they win. If they beat Jeruselem 4-0 then, they must hope Milchama win. McPsychoville taking any points means, Audioslavia are out. Yes, the Slavs can do it, if McPsychoville lose.

In other games. Hockey Canada drew with Nedalia nil all. Not the best of games with both teams not wanting to lose at all and that's what happened. This leaves both teams as the bottom two and well, both teams must win their next game - draws and losses are not acceptable. If Oliverry then, both teams cannot make it. If Oliverry draw, then they can - depending on goal differences.

Tadjikistan

17-05-2006, 13:56

Tadjik close to 1/16th Finals!

Chateauguay - A slighty strengthened Spruitland team faced the Tigers today at the Colisée Unité in Chateauguay, The good qualification run of the wabbits had pushed them to the 19th spot on the KPB ranking list, really close to the Tadjiks, indeed, the Wabbits had improved since then.
Eager to get back for the defeat the Tigers dealt them on the last Matchday during the qualifications, the Wabbits put up quite a fight. They definitly wanted to win but found an equally strong Tadjik side on their route. The Wabbits werent allowed to score as Tadjik defenders finally managed to keep Provoost and his comrade Jools out of the Tadjik box area, certainly no easy task.

While the Tigers had trouble reaching the Wabbit box in the first half, some peptalk from Daniel Gurchev, the assistent coach in the lockerrooms gave them the power they required to beat the Wabbit defenders. 'Talent alone isnt enough to win, you need to prepare yourself mentally, think like a winner!' was Gurchevs simple explanation. But from what we saw, it seemed to work, the Tadjik decided the game in that second half with goals by Tulberdiev and Saradov while keeping the Wabbits under almost constant pressure.

'I was pleased by what I saw, I wishe that they always played like this!'Coach Alexander Zaev said after the game 'We wouldnt have been second during the first part of the qualifications. But lets not go into detail about that again, we got through, remember. Let us look forward and hope for a result such as this one tommorrow when we go up against Starblaydia.'

Tadjikistans victory today puts the Tigers in a very comfortable position with three points more than their two most important rivals, in the next match versus Starblaydia, the Tigers need only a point to secure their first place in the group. What team the Tigers face then, remains a question until tommorrow, that few dare to answer. Daniel Gurchev put the two possible outcomes on the table: 'Either we face The Archregimancy, the Co-hosts or Casari and If I may be honest, right now I'm more afraid of the Archregimancy than Casari, despite the latter high ranking. The advantage of the hosts should not be underestimated.'

'And the Casaran fans are hoping that their team can avoid Starblaydia in the next round. They are even buying rather large amounts of Tadjik T-shirts and flags with the intention to support us and Spruitland during their last matches. Its crazy really! Personally I'd favour Casari as next opponents, because I think we can beat them. But hey, I'm only the assistent ...and former national goalkeeper.'

MD1: Bye
MD2: Atheistic Right - Tadjikistan D 0-0
MD3: Tadjikistan - Radke W 4-2
MD4: N. Ceasarea - Tadjikistan D 1-1
MD5: Apo. Kittens - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD6: Tadjikistan - Pastorville W 4-0
MD7: Tadjikistan - Spruitland D 0-0
MD8: Bye
MD9: Tadjikistan - Atheistic Right W 2-0
MD10: Radke - Tadjikistan W 0-3
MD11: Tadjikistan - N. Ceasarea W 3-0
MD12: Tadjikistan - Apo. Kittens W 2-1
MD13: Pastorville - Tadjikistan L 2-0
MD14: Spruitland - Tadjikistan W 1-3
------------------WC28-----------------------------------
MD1: Tadjikistan - The Islands of Qutar W 3-0
MD2: Tadjikistan - Spruitland W 2-0

Tadjik Goalscorers:
Saradov - 11
Tulberdiev - 7
Zyrianov - 6
Elisarov - 3
Kirponos - 1
Maximov - 1

Sarzonia

17-05-2006, 14:13

Portland Press Herald

All good things...

by Louise Fetter
Press Herald Staff Writer

17 May 2006 -- A streak that began when Sarzonia's national football team was a ragtag collection of "weekend footballers" during the World Cup XV era finally has come to an end: The Stars lost to Krytenia's national team for the first time since a 2-0 loss in the final group stage match of the inaugural AOCAF tournament.

The 1-0 loss in the second match of the World Cup XXVIII finals group stage officially eliminated the Stars (0-0-2 in World Cup finals play) from contention for a spot in the knockout stages and ended a hex that began with Sarzonia's shock 3-1 win over the Aces in the third place match of AOCAF I.

"We ended our winless streak against Rejistania in the previous World Cup, so this wasn't really a surprise," said Coach Dave Wilson. "You have to give credit to the other team sometimes and Krytenia played one whale of a football match." Even though the Stars were without defender Mike Cole (suspended) and midfielder Jarret Sanderson (kicked off the team), Wilson refused to use that as an excuse.

"They wouldn't have made that much of a difference, to be perfectly honest," Wilson said. "Both guys, especially Ettore Salivani, played as well as you could possibly expect. Neither one was at fault for the goal and Ettore nearly equalised," in the 54th minute when Aces goalkeeper Yannick Nourisse stuffed his point-blank bid.

"It's a bitter pill to be eliminated from the group stage for the second consecutive World Cup," said midfielder Jenna Raven, who wouldn't answer speculation that she might retire from the men's game to devote her full energy to the Women's World Cup. "The fact it was the first loss to Krytenia in a long while just makes matters worse."

Wilson also wouldn't answer rumours that he might step down as the team's head coach and turn the job over full time to assistant Brett Hancock.

"As of right now, I'm still the head coach and I have plans on being the head coach until such time as there's an announcement of something different," Wilson said. "I will take the time after this World Cup to get away from things and try to evaluate things objectively. What do we need to do better? What do I need to do differently? If my answer is 'get a new coach,' then I'll step down as head coach."

Praying2God

17-05-2006, 16:55

WARRIORS SHOCK WORLD, CLINCH 2ND ROUND SPOT WITH MATCH TO SPARE

That is not a misprint, folks. The Praying2God Warriors defeated 10th ranked Oliverry 2-0 yesterday, and thanks to a draw between Hockey Canada and Nedalia, clinched a spot in the 2nd Round of WC XXVIII. This is the first time that the Warriors have defeated top 10 teams in consecutive matches, and it couldn't have come at a better time. Kelly Carter scored only her second goal of WC XXVIII in the 62nd minute, off a give-and-go worked to perfection with Thomas Larson, to open the scoring. An over-aggressive Oliverry side seeking the equalizer in the final minutes gave up an insurance goal on a cross from Sarah Toliver to Kylie Holly in the 86th minute. Sarah Larson turned aside five shots to earn the shutout. It is very possible that some of the Warriors' stars will get some time off in the final group stage match against 39th ranked Nedalia, however the Warriors want to earn at least a draw to clinch the group, and potentially avoid a match-up with co-hosts New Montreal States in the 2nd Round. If the Warriors defense can keep playing as well as it has so far in the group stage, then the Warriors could make some serious noise in WC XXVIII. However far they go, we're going to enjoy the ride.

McPsychoville

17-05-2006, 18:39

Slavs On Parade

Two games into the second group stage, and the Psychos can still qualify.

We'll let that sink in for a bit, feel free to rejoin us when you're ready.

Ready? Good. It appears System Karela may not suck quite as much as everyone expected it to - both games so far have been tight, one-goal affairs, but up against the Slavs, the team everyone believed would thoroughly destroy the Psychos, it went our way. Price was messianic, for want of a more appropriate word, and it was his insane rocket of a half-volley that beat the Slav goaltender to secure the victory.

Here's the deal; if the Psychos beat Milchama, we'll be through to face one of Bedistan or Fmjphoenix. If we draw and Jeruselem win, Jeruselem go through. If we draw and Jeruselem fail to win, we'll best them on goal difference. If we lose, we're buggered.

Starblaydia

17-05-2006, 19:19

It's "Shit or Bust" for Azanulbizarn
Starblaydia to "go fer it" against Tadjikistan

To put it quite simply, Starblaydia require a victory over rivals Tadjikistan on Matchday Three of World Cup 28. Failing that, Starblaydia need to equal Spruitland's result against The Islands of Qutar to stay above that all-important progression line.

Despite what some ethereal entities are leading us to believe, Tadjikistan's Tigers have not qualified for the Second Round quite yet, as they can still be undone by simple mathematics. A weighty Starblaydi victory over them, combined with an equally-massive Spruitlander defeat of Qutar, would see the Tadjiks out on goal difference. A total goal difference of six needs to be overcome by the two major Atlantian Oceania nations if they are to pass the greatest footballing thing ever to come out of Greater Dienstad.

P W D L F A GD PTS
Tadjikistan 2 2 0 0 5 0 5 6
Starblaydia 2 1 0 1 3 2 1 3
- - - - - - - -
Spruitland 2 1 0 1 2 3 -1 3
The Islands of Qutar 2 0 0 2 0 5 -5 0 E

Games Remaining:
Starblaydia Vs Tadjikistan
Spruitland Vs The Islands of Qutar

Only AO minnows Qutar are out of it at this stage, but it's going to be two from three as far as qualification goes. It would be cruel on Spruitland, for instance, to have beaten 3rd-in-the-world Starblaydia and not progress above them to the 'Super' Sixteen.

It was in that match that Gert Planaeter and Chico Provoost gave Spruitland an essential three points, while providing Starblaydia with a kick in the teeth. Though Paul Noble provided what proved to only be a consolation goal for Starblaydia, it was opening match defeat for the former champions for the first time since World Cup 26.

Next up, however, was a pay-back match for the White and Purples. The afforementioned World Cup 26 Finals defeat on Matchday One was caused by, no less, The Islands of Qutar. World Cup President Giovanni Lopez and Paul Noble (again) scored the goals back then, eight years ago, as Starblaydia fell 3-2 to the Islanders. This time, however, was different. Right-back Ricardo Almeida scored his first ever goal for his country; sending the team into joy for their twenty-eight year-old utility player. Then it was down to substitute striker Janica Rocca - on for Keifner - to make it two-nil and seal the deal.

Simply, Starblaydia need to equal or better whatever Spruitland manage to acheive against Qutar. Anything less should, could and would mean abject misery for Azanulbizarn's team.

Squornshelous

17-05-2006, 20:02

Pschychoes Within Inches

Almost any result on matchday 3 will put the Pschychoes into the Ro16
Squornshelous pulled out a closely fought 2-1 victory over our former nemesis, Dance 2 Revolution, and now look forward to a very favorable matchdya three situation. We find ourselve pitted against Sarzonia, who surprisingly, have been eliminated from competition with a pair of losses. Once again, Sarzonia and Squornshelous meet playing for little more than pride, as it was in the third place match 12 years ago. Statistically, the match doesn't matter to Sarzonia for obvious reasons. Squornshelous also has little stake in this result. The only possible way for Squornshelous to be eliminated is if the following conditions are met:

-Dance 2 Revolution and Krytenia draw
-Squornshelous lose to Sarzonia by 2 or more
or
-Dance 2 Revolution and Krytenia draw
-Squornshelous lose to Sarzonia by 1
-Dance 2 Revolution score 1 more goal than Squronshelous

Any result other than these two possibilities will result in Squornshelous taking one of the two qualification spots for the group. Hopefully, the Pschychoes can put together a win, and top the group. We are excited to see that if the current standings in groups 3 and 6 remain the same, Squornshelous will face Rejistania in the second round, a team we have been very successful against in the past, and in recent years.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 2-1 Dance 2 Revolution

Squornshelous' Scorers:
V. Petrov: 8
Syvatov: 5
Xenakis: 5
O. Petrov: 4
Harris: 3
Kamaka: 3
Peterson: 2
Khabarov: 1

Milchama

18-05-2006, 02:57

Alexandria Times-Tribune-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer

Sports Section

Milchama get first their first WC win

What a difference a World Cup makes. In WC 27, the Warriors were barely able to not completely embarass themselves but in so far in WC 28 the Warriors have dominated being the only undeafeated team in their group so far and just need to draw Mcpsychoville in order to get to the next round. Coach Jamie Smith said, "Yes so far we have played above and beyond everyone's expectations but this can change, we cannot have complacency in our team. If we have complacency then we will lose but if are not complacent then we will do well and manage to get a win."
Now onto the Match Report:

The Warriors started off spectacularly when Darian Flinters found some space on the left and got Spot Nielson past the defence and Nielson put the ball past the keeper to give the Warriors the early lead. This lucky goal did not seem to be a fluke though as the run of play continued to go in Milchama's favor. They even went up 2-0 when Johnny Rintell dribbled past two defenders and took a blistering that the keeper could only knock back to a waiting Floren Albentine who easily put the ball in on the rebound. The run of play was great for the Warriors who had the halftime lead of 2-0. They almost had the score 3-0 but the Jeruselem started to become hard to maneuver but they could not turn their defensive brilliance into attack and to use a war metaphor they were entrenched on their own end. If you do this against a World Cup caliber side something bad will happen and something bad did happen when Elana Kilinin found J.J. Faren on the wing and he found Dunston Copperlee in the middle and Copperlee headed the ball to a charging Darian Flinters who scored to make it 3-0 Milchama. Jeruselem did pull a goal back late in the game when Takahashi Murasashi beat Thompson on the dribble and passed the ball to Geoff Shout who put the ball in the back of the net to give the Crusader their one goal. They could not get on the attack again though as the clock ran out and Milchama celebrated their first ever victory in World Cup play.

Final Score:
Milchama 3 (Nielson 7, Albentine 39, Flinters 61)
Jeruselem 1 (Shout 73)

Milchama Man of the Match:
Darian Flinters- His great wing play was captivated up in his goal in the second half. He ran havoc around the Jeruselem defenders and really did not allow them a moments rest. His play was key to spark the Milchamian offense.

The Archregimancy

18-05-2006, 03:14

This is an RP tabulation post - not an RP cut-off.

The intent is merely to allow my co-host to know up to where I've counted MD 2 RPs.

RP's made after this post may be counted at NMS' discretion until such time as scores are posted.

New Montreal States

18-05-2006, 03:51

Matchday Three (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10978205&postcount=18) scores now up.

New Montreal States

18-05-2006, 05:51

SPANKINGS CONTINUE AT TOP OF GROUP ONE

Villeneuve, threescore virgins lift NMS over TnUI

NEW MONTREAL - No fewer than nine dozen reporters from across the States descended on the Paladins locker room in the Dome for pre-match interviews with coach Branstone and the side, only to find the door barricaded and several high-powered stereo speakers blaring in the hallway, obviously set up in order to drive off the press. Your correspondent, along with fifteen or so other diehards, waited through the Stones "Let's Spend the Night Together" and the All-Montrealais Rejects "Dirty Little Secret" before finally being driven back to the press box by what sounded like William Branstone, Charles Pilon and three virgins doing a cover of the Bloodhound Gang's "Bad Touch." In the words of Louis Brisebois from the Angiers Courier du Sud, "They sound like shit incarnate in there."

The team trotted briskly out onto the field, and remained standing yet again throughout the match, with reserve keeper Tomas Beaujeu gamely refusing to flinch after a drunken fan chucked a beer can at his sore posterior.

TnUI showed why it's ranked ninth in the world throughout the first half, driving the Paladins midfield back to cover for the usually stellar performances of Yannic Laurier and Pierre St-Simard in the backfield. Surprisingly enough, they managed to make three tackles and break up several passes, but this so shocked Gilles Villeneuve and Hubert Labranche in the forward slots that they uncharacteristically failed to take advantage of these openings. The fact that St-Simard zinged a pass off Villeneuve's buttocks probably didn't help any, either.

Paul Chasson put on his finest performance yet in the nets, with 7 saves to his credit in the first half. His keeping, as usual, was the reason the Paladins weren't down 5-0 by the end of the half, but rather sprinted back to the lockers with the game at 0-0.

The dogpile that had damaged Laurier and Pilon in the Haraki match was avoided, as Branstone had thoughfully had the locker-room doors widened somewhat so as to permit the side to pour through without incident. Your correspondent, putting his ear up to the door along with several other conscientious fellow reporters, heard nothing except giggling and dull thwacks followed by gentle "oofs." The fearless reporting staff, so enthralled in recording these proceedings for posterity's sake, failed to notice that time had run down on the half, and were trampled as the Paladins, led by Branstone, literally burst out the door. The coach was heard to shout something along the lines of "Serves you right, you [copulating] peeping Toms!" as the horde of blue and silver dashed out onto the field. André Laviolette of Radio Chateauguay and Michel Vaudriere of the St. James Bigtopian Chronicle were hospitalized with injuries from the stampede and are both listed in stable condition at the Palais du Santé in downtown New Montreal. It is worth noting that the female half of the press corps were somewhat more subdued in their journalistic zeal than their male counterparts, as their contributions to the halftime coverage consisted of sighing in exasperation and having another drink.

Your correspondent, as battered and dizzy as he was, could not fail to notice that the Paladins came out playing like, well, the side they had been in the previous two matches, and Gilles Villeneuve quickly picked up a goal to put the States on the board. The Paladins were driving when the blood loss became too much and your correspondent pitched face-forward onto his notepad with a mild "erk" (according to Mathieu Bouclier of the Philemon Union.) It later emerged that Charles Pilon and Hugh Faulkner also scored for the Paladins, and Chasson managed to keep a clean sheet.

NMS hosts Hockey Canada next. We'll have a special report on that tomorrow.

PALADINS 3 - Villeneuve 47, Pilon 75, Faulkner 88
TOTAL N UTTER INSANITY 0

TOURNAMENT SCORING

Villeneuve 3
Toussaint 2
Chasson 1
Faulkner 1
Hunyadi 1
F. Labranche 1
H. Labranche 1
Pilon 1

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

18-05-2006, 06:05

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg

Sea Dragons Win Despite Being Done

This is Kellan Kildan live from New Montreal States

The scenario was simple today. The Sea Dragons needed a big win over Hypocria while Liverpool England must take a big win against Rejistania as well for ASMV to advance. There were several big issues with that scenario.

1st the Sea Dragons would have to completely annihilate close friends, Hypocria. This was perhaps the easiest of the problems to solve. We do like the Hyppos, but this is after all, a sporting event. And we desperately wanted to move on. 2-0 was the final score as ASMV picked up its first ever win at this stage of WC competition.

2nd - All that was needed was a five point victory from Liverpool England. Yeah right. We know how hard Rejistania is to score upon. Also, we managed a clean sheet on them in the last match. It is beyond my memory that Rejis failed to score in consecutive matches. Rejistania knew full well what was at stake, and did not let a chance for goal differential to decide things. They easily dispatched the Terminators 3-0.

So now we are done after 3 matches, just like last year. But this time we did earn 4 points. That is a definite move in the right direction. Now the Sea Dragons will take some needed time off to see how many of the older players on the squad decide to return for a 5th try at the World Cup.

Two of our footballing friends did manage to move on to the next round. The Tigers of Tadjikistan held it together and will face The Archregimancy in the round of 16. Most of the Sea Dragons have decided to stay here in NMS to cheer them on against the Monks.

Milchama surprised everyone as they cruised into the round of 16. They now face the Vikings of Fmjphoenix. They probably will not get a lot of predictions in their favor, but we know that they can win this one and keep on playing.

Good luck to both as they continue on. We will be seeing everyone again in WC29. For now it’s off to the Inviyatii.

Ariddia

18-05-2006, 13:09

Ariddia finish on a win

It was a game between two already eliminated teams, but Ariddian coach Adam Seul had promised he intended to take it seriously nonetheless. “There’s nothing at stake in terms of moving onto the next round, so in a way it’s like a friendly. But I take friendly matches seriously too.”

Prior to the beginning of the game, Ludovic Hue and Frédéric Clément both announced that this would be their last international match. Both have decided to retire from international football, and will not be travelling to ASMV for the third Draggonnii Cup. Clément is one of the team’s most highly capped players, and has scored the most goals by any Ariddian in recent football – a total of 34, in 70 games.

For the match against Turori, Seul chose an interesting line-up. While a number of “backups” were fielded in the starting eleven – Hue, Roberts, Eosh, Lange, U, Smith and Nam – it was not quite a secondary team, as several veterans – al Jahdali, Kitenge, Alt and Swimmer – were also fielded. This has prompted speculation that the latter four may also be retiring subsequent to this match.

Whatever the reasons involved, the Rouge-et-Noirs played well, to the satisfaction of spectators. Key defender Yves al Jahdali was in top form, and on those occasions when Turori attackers were able to approach the goal cage, Hue saved every shot. Frédéric Clément was brought in towards the end of the game, to the cheers of Ariddian fans, as was young defender Aush Song, who has not often been seen until now.

Perhaps fittingly, it was the team’s captain, 36-year-old Indigenous Ariddian Ue Alt, who scored the only goal of the match, in the sixty-third minute. Ariddians in the stadium applauded as the whistle was blown, no doubt aware there were many faces on the pitch they would not be seeing again.

“We finished this Cup on a very positive note,” Clément said after the match. “There was less pressure than usual, since we were already out, and we were able to give it our best. We’ve made it into the Cup itself, and we finished with a win. I couldn’t have asked for more.”

Jeruselem

18-05-2006, 13:55

JGN - The Rachel and Harry Chronicle

World Cup 28, on the last group day - Jeruselem looked in trouble. The two underdogs sitting 1st and 2nd, and then Jeruselem played Audioslavia. Jeruselem need to win and hoped Milchama won too.

Well, folks ... IT HAPPENED

We don't what happened to the Audioslavia who lost to Milchama and McPsychoville - they looked like soccer team but were not. Jeruselem did it's usual rabbit out of the hat trick and played the best soccer at the last possible game. Jeruselem smashed Audioslavia FOUR NIL- we watched it. Jeruselem have never scored more than 3 goals in a game until now, and 4 goals against the Slavs? Yes, the Crusaders dismantled the Slav defense with ease and controlled the midfield with direct attacks. The Slav keeper was not at fault, but the defense looked shaky - it imploded. Jeruselem score two goals each half although it should have been six or seven really, if strikers shot a lot straighter.

Now, everyone - don't write off Jeruselem eh?

McPsychoville missed out? Why - they were beated - one nil by Milchama. Jeruselem beat the McPsychoville 1-0, McPsychoville beat Audioslavia 1-0 and guess what - they lost one nil. If McPsychoville had won 1-0 over Milchama, then Jeruselem would have progressed due to it's massive goal difference. Well done Milchama!

Nedalia lost it's last game to Praying2God. The Warriors won 2-0 and well, put Lions out of their misery. Nedalia had one draw and two losses - not good enough these days. Still, we love our Lions and hope they will do better next World Cup.

Hockey Canada pushed Oliverry out of the World Cup 28. Oh yes, the Canucks showed why they are 6th seed. The Canuckian 2 - 0 win over Oliverry put then equal on points and ahead of goal differences. Yes, Hockey Canada did a Jeruselem-like Houdini trick and upset a few people.

Speaking of Lions - guess who we meet next (not Nedalia). Bedistan!
They are undefeated in the Group stage and well, we will have repeat today's game to have any chance of making the quarter finals. Twice Jeruselem have escaped disaster, but from now on - no more escapes. It's do or die here. Once again, 2nd round appearances but losses to Liverpool England, Starblaydia and NMS have happened. Will we make NEW jeruselem soccer history by beating Bedistan.

Some news of different kind - apparently the Jeruselem coach is suddenly popular with middle aged soccer moms. Maybe, he will find a partner.

Rachel Goldstein, JGN reporter
Harry Kool, JGN soccer commentator

Tadjikistan

18-05-2006, 13:58

Tadjiks face hosts in 2nd round

Chateauguay - Their qualification to the next round wasnt secured yet, even Zaev knew that, but we all knew the Tigers were really close and allthough possible, it was most unlikely that the Spruitland Wabbits could stop the Tadjiks from moving on to the next stage.
Starblaydia on the other hand, had to do a good as the Wabbits in order to move on, in this case, that objective was quite easy to achieve as Spruitland lost in a most inetresting match against the Islands Of Qutar, final score; 3-2 and the Wabbits were almost certainly out, unless the Tigers could defeat the Starblaydi side

'Well, I must say, that that dwarf actually knows what he's doing, despite a recent setback to came on the field with a strong team' Assistent Daniel Gurchev said about Starblaydi coach Azanulbizarn. The latter could celebrate a Starblaydi victory, thanks to Dasha Tolkacheva whome made the only goal of the match late in the second half. Alexander Zaev saw his team lose, but he remained very calm 'Well, the goal was made by a strong player, we probably made the mistake of giving her too much space. We've seen her play at the 2nd Draggonni Inviyatii, I should have tasked Gyurza to guard her, but I had already put him on that tall Keifner guy. Its not really a shame to lose from Starblaydia and they couldnt take our first position, so there's nothing to worry about.'

We dont agree to that last statement, with the next match against co-host The Archregimancy anounced, the team Zaev wanted to avoid facing. But this time there is some good news too for the Tigers as the game will take place in Ville Marie in New Montreal States and not in The Archregimancy as the Tigers feared. Daniel Gurchev was certainly happy; 'And all of a sudden they've lost that home advantage. Maybe we should pray to God give to give us that victory, they already have their paradise.'

MD1: Bye
MD2: Atheistic Right - Tadjikistan D 0-0
MD3: Tadjikistan - Radke W 4-2
MD4: N. Ceasarea - Tadjikistan D 1-1
MD5: Apo. Kittens - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD6: Tadjikistan - Pastorville W 4-0
MD7: Tadjikistan - Spruitland D 0-0
MD8: Bye
MD9: Tadjikistan - Atheistic Right W 2-0
MD10: Radke - Tadjikistan W 0-3
MD11: Tadjikistan - N. Ceasarea W 3-0
MD12: Tadjikistan - Apo. Kittens W 2-1
MD13: Pastorville - Tadjikistan L 2-0
MD14: Spruitland - Tadjikistan W 1-3
------------------WC28-----------------------------------
MD1: Tadjikistan - The Islands of Qutar W 3-0
MD2: Tadjikistan - Spruitland W 2-0
MD3: Starblaydia - Tadjikistan L 1-0
------------------1/16th finals--------------------------
MD1: Tadjikistan - The Archregimancy ???

Tadjik Goalscorers:
Saradov - 11
Tulberdiev - 7
Zyrianov - 6
Elisarov - 3
Kirponos - 1
Maximov - 1

Sarzonia

18-05-2006, 14:25

Woodstock Daily Mail

Wilson steps aside

by Ryan Calvin
Daily Mail Staff Writer

18 May 2006 -- Sarzonian national team coach Dave Wilson announced his retirement as head coach following Sarzonia's World Cup ending 3-1 loss to Squornshelous.

"I have given the matter a lot of thought over the past year and I have decided that it's time to let someone else take the reins of this team," Wilson said in a prepared statement. "It's time for me to focus on the rest of my life and it's time for this team to move into a new future."

Wilson said he would look for someone to serve as technical director to report to him and Incorporated Football Federation president Sir Douglas Freech. He will retain his position as IFF chairman. His retirement is to take effect immediately, and he has named assistant coach Brett Hancock the interim head coach.

"Brett has been taking more of the responsibilites of a head coach in the past two World Cups," Wilson said. "It's time for him to get a fair opportunity to coach a team himself."

Hancock said he will be interviewed by a search committee including Wilson and Freech, but "the job's still considered vacant for all intents and purposes.

"If someone comes along who knocks their socks off and has accomplishments out the ying yang, he'll probably be considered for the job," Hancock said. "They haven't said anything to me about the job being mine to lose."

Whoever assumes the head coaching responsibilities will have to address a team that failed to earn a point in the World Cup finals for the first time in Sarzonia's footballing history. The team won its World Cup qualifying group by five points over Milchama, but lost three straight games in the Finals, including its first loss to Krytenia since the first-ever AOCAF tournament.

"This team has not stepped up when it needed to and that's been a fact the last three World Cups," Hancock said. "That's something that I or whoever gets this job after Dave Wilson is going to have to address."

Hancock will guide the second choice national team during the AOCAF tournament, then the IFF will determine the team's next move. However, a source familiar with the IFF's thinking suggested that Hancock's interview may only be a formality.

"He took the Stars to the AOCAF final against Hypocria and he was basically running the team that won that trophy the next year," the source said, speaking on condition of anonymity. "He earned a lot of respect from the team when he stood up to that punk [Starblaydi midfielder Francisco Ibanez]. He'll get their attention."

Oliverry

18-05-2006, 14:52

Many riots in Oliverry killed many Hockey Canadians

ON - Communiste, SU - 100 Hockey Canadian-born were killed today here, in Communiste, after Hockey Canada won 2-0 to Oliverry in World Cup 28's preliminary phase final match-up. Oliverrian policeman Jean-Claude Lajoie reported more than 100 deaths and 1500 injured after a riot outside Le Bar des Sportifs, a bar known for its Hockey Canadian people frequenting the bar. Finally, 200 Oliverrians, 50 Limbrogidlians and 400 Hockey Canadians were arrested for being part of the riot.

Krytenia

18-05-2006, 18:43

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Hallelujah!
by Bill Tulos in The Archregimancy*

WITH a Druid at the helm, and in a nation of devout Orthodox Christians, the Krytenians showed miracles really do happen. After fifty years of defeats and close run things, Krytenia finally, finally, buried the hoodoo of Sarzonia...and the Sarzonians along with it.

Jeremy Jaffacake-Phillips was the man who put home the deciding goal, as he placed an unstoppable strike past the Sarzonian keeper that left the Stars' defence shellshocked. Sarzonia could have equalised early in the second half, but Ettore Salivani's close-range effort was snuffed out by a desperate Nourrise save.

The defeat eliminates Sarzonia, and leaves the Aces needing just a draw in their final game to advance. Here's hoping for another helping of belief from the Krytenian players.

SARZONIA - 0

KRYTENIA - 1
Jaffacake-Phillips 26

TOURNAMENT SCORERS
M. Friday - 6
J. Jaffacake-Phillips - 6
J. Quinnell - 6
G. Kennedy - 1
Tejai - 1

QUALIFYING SCHEDULE
MD1: NO FIXTURE
MD2: A v ALG D 0-0
MD3: A v TLM W 3-1
MD4: A v GEI W 2-0
MD5: A v TYN W 2-0
MD6: H v TLC W 2-1 (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD7: H v TUR L 2-3 (New City Stadium, Avidia)
MD8: NO FIXTURE
MD9: H v ALG D 0-0 (The Mound, Secklow)
MD10: H v TLM W 2-1 (ArenaWest, Aigburth)
MD11: H v GEI D 2-2 (Denbigh Park, Ousevale)
MD12: H v TYN L 0-1 (Mellion Lane, Davisham)
MD13: A v TLC W 3-0
MD14: A v TUR L 0-3

FINALS SCHEDULE
R1M1: N v SQU D 1-1
R1M2: N v SRZ W 1-0
R1M3: N v DDR ?????

*NB: Rami missed this. Ha ha!

Casari

19-05-2006, 03:45

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

Casari shuts out the Reg
Ends up with a 2-1-0 against the Monks

For the third time this cycle, the Casaran team stood, looking rather fetching in the most hideous kits to grace a World Cup pitch, facing a team of dedicated Soccer-playing Orthodox monks.

Thankfully, religious convictions and style aren't proportional to talent.

The Casarans played to a 3-nil win over the footballing monks, dictating the pace of the game from the start and racking up the standard goals from Roe, Larini, and Saienz in the first half to leave the match pretty much decided by the time the teams reemerged on the pitch.

You see it coming, and it's coming, and it's coming, and you just can't stop it!
That's right.

Starblaydia. They've only knocked us out of every single thing in the history of man (note: this article has not been fact-checked) and they seem to be headed for the same thing this time around.

Some are trying to express optimism, and Coach Hill has expressed her desire to get help from a higher power.

"If we win the match, the first thing I'll do after the match is find the nearest monk and convert." She said when it became apparent that the men in RAWRCRUSH purple will be Casari's next opponent.

Any benefit this promise is yet to be seen.

Squornshelous

19-05-2006, 04:23

Moving Along

Squornshelous cruises past Sarzonia and into the second round
Sarzonia have certainly had a disappointing cup. For several years, they were on of the most powerful teams in football, and until very recently, we would have felt honored just to share a stadium with them. Now, a few cups later, things have changed and Sarzonia has once again failed to move beyond the first round, losing all three fo their finals matches this time around, the latest to the tune of three Squornshelan goals fromsome of the younger players, who were given time late in the match as favorable scores were reported from the Krytenia-Dance 2 Revolution match.

While the scoring was opened in the 24th by the Pschychoes young, playmaking center forward, Iannis Xenakis, Sarzonia was able to equalize early in the second half, with a very precisely placed header by Kenny Cooper following an elegant cross from Henrik Bastale.

With Krytenia leading Dance 2 Revolution 2-0 in the second half, subs were sent in on the Squornshelan side. Igor Khabarov replaced Israel Kamaka and Janne Aalto came in for Goran Syvatov. This switch, bringing some fresh young legs onto the field, proved a welcome change, and five minutes later, in the 69th, the speedy Khabarov scored what would be the match winner. His goal was insured by one from Squornshelous' resident superstar, Vasili Petrov. Petrov made a pass to Khabarov, and as the defense realigned to cover the young striker, he sent it right back to Petrov, who had an open path to the net.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 3-1 Sarzonia

Squornshelous' Scorers:
V. Petrov: 9
Xenakis: 6
Syvatov: 5
O. Petrov: 4
Harris: 3
Kamaka: 3
Khabarov: 2
Peterson: 2

Fmjphoenix

19-05-2006, 06:13

Felicity Wilson's hattrick give's Bedistan top of group

Before the end of the first half, everyone knew this match was over. Felicity Wilson, whose name rhyme's with velocity, moved with extreme amounts of it today as she scored goals in the 23rd, 34th and 38th minutes to jolt the Lions to a 3-1 lead that held through to the end. With that the group stages of World Cup 28 came to a close.

Mike Nolan scored his 16th goal of the cup during the 3rd minute, getting a great pass from Andrew Jenkins. Nolan faced Vailatai Issah and dispatched him with a juke left. Twenty minutes later, that was just a memory. Wilson's first goal was an easy tap from a rebounded attempt by Leonard Hollins. Her second was a good solid kick that she put just out of Justin Keys reach. Her third shot was interesting, as it hit the vertical and horizantal bars right where they meet in the upper left corner, dropped straight now, and barely rolled into the net. With the 3-1, Coach Wash very conservitivly played his reserves in and gave the starters some rest.

"I felt that the Lions came out hard and showed that they wanted this match no matter what. It works out fine as the younger players get to play and expierence the thrill of playing out in front of such a grand crown."

With the loss, the Vikings took second place in Group 2 and became slated to play the 1st place team in Group 7. Most ''experts'' called out Audioslavia or Jeruselem as 1st place in the group, but neigh were there at the end of the day. That glory went to Milchama, who becomes the Vikings next opponent. The Warriors topped their group unbeated, with their only minor blemish a draw against Audioslavia. Coach Wash stated that the team is ready to go all out.

"You cannot underestimate anyone who makes it past the group stages. That takes more than just luck or anything. The Warriors have been right at the edge to make the jump to the top teams. They will be no slouch to beat, that is for sure." Coach Wash said about the upcoming match.

Fmjphoenix: 1 (Nolan 3)
Bedistan: 3 (Wilson 23, 34, 38)

World Cup 28 Records: 10-2-3
------------------------Qualifiers-------------------------
MD01: -BYE-
MD02: Fmjphoenix 3 - 0 Magnus Valerius
MD03: Fmjphoenix 2 - 1 New Lexington
MD04: Fmjphoenix 3 - 0 St. Happenin
MD05: Fmjphoenix 1 - 0 Bazalonia
MD06: Fmjphoenix 0 - 1 Cataduanes
MD07: Fmjphoenix 1 - 2 Wentland
MD08: -BYE-
MD09: Fmjphoenix 3 - 0 Magnus Valerius
MD10: Fmjphoenix 1 - 1 New Lexington
MD11: Fmjphoenix 1 - 0 St. Happenin
MD12: Fmjphoenix 3-0 Bazalonia
MD13: Fmjphoenix 2 - 2 Cataduanes
MD14: Fmjphoenix 3 - 2 Wentland
------------------------World Cup------------------------
GS01: Fmjphoenix 1 - 0 Ariddia
GS02: Fmjphoenix 3 - 1 Turori
GS03: Fmjphoenix 1 - 3 Bedistan
SR: Fmjphoenix ? - ? Milchama

Vikings Goalscorers
M. Nolan 16
B. Dougood 5
S. Ijanaeil 3
A. Jenkins 3
L. Boyd 1

Praying2God

19-05-2006, 06:56

KNOCK OUT ROUNDS PREVIEW

For the first time in team history, the Praying2God Warriors have advanced to the 2nd Round of the WC. As a result, we get to do our first knock out rounds preview. Here’s the 2nd Round match-ups and predictions for how WC XXVIII will play out:

New Montreal States (12th ranked) v. Hockey Canada (6th)

The co-hosts against the team that finished second in the Warriors’ group during the group play stage. Normally, this would be a very good match, but I think this one won’t be as close as a lot of people think. Hockey Canada isn’t playing their best ball right now, and NMS will want to do well for the home fans. Prediction: New Montreal States 2-0

Bedistan (1st) v. Jeruselem (8th)

You have to feel sorry for our rivals from Jeruselem. Drawing the two-time defending champs and top-ranked team in the world is not a fun assignment at this stage of the WC. Bedistan is playing really well right now too. Prediction: Bedistan 3-1

Rejistania (7th) v. Krytenia (17th)

Krytenia finally managed to get the Sarzonian monkey off their back in the group stage, but this isn’t a fun draw for them either. The System Karela defense has been working quite well as of late, and will prove to be a challenge for Krytenia to score on. If the Rejistanian counter-attack wasn’t playing so well right now, this match might have gone extra time, but Rejistania seems to be on top of their game right now. Prediction: Rejistania 1-0

Tadjikistan (16th) v. The Archregimancy (28th)

This is a tough draw for Tadjikistan--drawing one of the co-hosts in the 2nd Round. However, The Archregimancy hasn't seemed to find their stride yet, and a Tadjikistan team that has looked very good so far should be in good position to send the co-hosts packing. Prediction: Tadjikistan 2-1 (AET)

Casari (11th) v. Starblaydia (3rd)

This could be a very interesting match-up to watch. Starblaydia won our qualifying group easily, but could only manage a second place finish in their group play group. Casari seems to be on the upswing right now, so this match should be very close. Prediction: Casari 3-2 (PKs)

Squornshelous (4th) v. Liverpool England (2nd)

This is hands down the best match-up of the 2nd Round. Two of the top four teams in the world have to slug it out to determine who gets a ticket to the Quarterfinals and who takes a rankings hit. Expect this one to need more than 90 minutes to settle it. Prediction: Squornshelous 4-3 (PKs)

Milchama (31st) v. Fmjphoenix (14th)

This isn’t a bad draw for the lowest ranked team left in WC XXVIII; they should at least be able to be competitive in this match. However, it will be tough to pull off another upset. Prediction: Fmjphoenix 3-1

Praying2God (26th) v. Total n Utter Insanity (9th)

Can the red-hot Warriors do it again? They’ve already knocked off a pair of top ten teams in the group stage (Hockey Canada and Oliverry)—will TnUI be the Warriors third top ten victim of WC XXVIII? The desert has been kind to the Warriors and TnUI has been a bit inconsistent, so the Warriors have a fighting chance to become the Cinderella story of WC XXVIII. Prediction: Praying2God 1-0 (AET)

Quarterfinals:

New Montreal States (12th) v. Tadjikistan (16th)

A close battle when looking at it based on ranks becomes more lopsided when you take into consideration that NMS is one of the co-hosts. It’s hard to argue against them in this match-up. Prediction: New Montreal States 3-1

Rejistania (7th) v. Bedistan (1st)

This could be a very tough, defensive slugfest, and may be the two-time defending champs toughest challenge in their attempt to three-peat. There is no way that four-time champion Rejistania rolls over here and lets Bedistan cakewalk through to the final. The three-peat bid meets a nail-biting end here. Prediction: Rejistania 2-1 (PKs)

Casari (11th) v. Praying2God (26th)

Casari may appear to be the heavy favorite in this match having knocked off a team that swept the Warriors during qualifying, but this isn’t the same Warriors team. The Warriors got hot in the group play stage and are a dangerous draw for anybody at this point. The Warriors defense will certainly be an interesting puzzle for the Casari offense to attempt to solve. Prediction: Praying2God 2-1 (AET)

Fmjphoenix (14th) v. Squornshelous (4th)

This is an interesting match-up. Squornshelous has looked more impressive getting to this point, though they might be a little drained after having just beaten second ranked Liverpool England to get here, while Fmjphoenix beat the lowest ranked team to make the 2nd Round. Prediction: Fmjphoenix 3-2 (PKs)

Semifinals:

New Montreal States (12th) v. Rejistania (7th)

An interesting battle between the remaining co-hosts and arguably the most successful team ever in WC competition. NMS will have the crowd firmly behind them as the co-host, but System Karela will prove to be too much for them to handle. Prediction: Rejistania 1-0 (AET)

Praying2God (26th) v. Fmjphoenix (14th)

A very intriguing match-up between a pair of nations that very few people will probably predict to get this far. The Warriors and Fmjphoenix split a pair of matches during WC XXVI qualifying, with both teams winning on the other’s home field. That would seem to favor Fmjphoenix in this match, but you can’t overlook a white-hot Warriors squad that will be playing like they have nothing to lose. Prediction: Praying2God 3-2 (PKs)

3rd Place Match:

New Montreal States (12th) v. Fmjphoenix (14th)

This should be an interesting match to see how well both squads bounce back after disappointing semifinals losses. We can expect the co-hosts to be buoyed by the support of the crowd and win this match between two very evenly ranked teams. Prediction: New Montreal States 2-0

World Cup XXVIII Final:

Rejistania (7th) v. Praying2God (26th)

Who ever saw this one coming? I don’t think anybody had the Warriors getting this far before either qualifying or the group play stage, and probably very few have them this far now, but the match-ups and intangibles give the Warriors a very serious chance to waltz into this match as the Cinderella story of the tournament. Rejistania is no stranger to playing in the final, as they are four-time champions. This will certainly prove to be a defensive struggle. Expect the glass slipper to break at 11:59 PM. Prediction: Rejistania 1-0 (PKs)

OOC: Am I likely extremely wrong in my predictions? Absolutely. One has to have a dream though.:D

EDIT: Corrected an error in my preview of the Tadjikistan/The Archregimancy 2nd Round match pointed out to me by TA. Thanks for pointing it out to me, TA.

The Archregimancy

19-05-2006, 08:01

THE MONASTIC TIMES

SECOND XI CRUSHED BY CASARAN CATHOLICS
Squad Now Travel to Face Tadjikistan in New Montreal States

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

Coach Kyrill, Metropolitan of Solovetsky's decision to rest most of the first team in preparation for the second round backfired spectacularly overnight as a battle-hardened Casari side thrashed our monastic brethren 3-0 to condemn the Archregimancy to second place in the group, and a trip to New Montreal States to face Tadjikistan.

Rumours that the coaching bishop had deliberately thrown the match in order to avoid Starblaydia in the second round were hotly denied by Monastic Football Association officials. "We'd rather take Starblaydia at home than travel away for the rest of the tournament" said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity. "We're hoping for some support from our fellow Orthodox in New Montreal States, but it's not the same as playing at home in a stadium full of fellow monks, is it?"

Despite the undoubted quality of the communists and Muslims on the Tadjik side, MFA officials were said to be quietly confident of causing an upset, noting Pantocrator MFC's surprising success against a Tadjik side in the final of the last NSFA Cup.

[OOC - just to clarify in the wake of Praying2God's 2nd round preview... I will confirm that by coming second in their group, the Archregimancy has to travel to NMS for their second round match. As a result, the Archregimancy's home team bonus has been removed from the scorinator for all subsequent matches]

Bedistan

19-05-2006, 18:57

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Jeruselem to provide tough test

NEW MONTREAL STATES -- After what was going to be a heated match between friends and rivals Bedistan and Fmjphoenix quickly turned into the Felicity Wilson show with twenty-seven special guests (the former having achieved not just a hattrick, but a full-blown Rejistanian hattrick with three uninterrupted consecutive goals), Bedistan got rewarded for topping the group with the more difficult opponent -- while Fmjphoenix get a relatively easy second-round matchup against Milchama, the Lions have a much more difficult task in the shape of Jeruselem.

Jeruselem is a nation whose footballing prowess is often underestimated by the Bedistani populace at large. "Wait, they're a top ten team?" one Sokojiwa Dosi resident asked us incredulously. Yes, Mr. Unnamed Person on the Street, Jeruselem is a top ten team. Ranked 8th, to be precise. And the fact that they've slipped into that slot without us really noticing helps underline just how underestimated they are. One person who has not fallen victim to this misconception, though, is Lions manager Kenter Surf. "We're going to treat them just as we would any top ten team," he stated, "as a definite threat."

Of course, on the minds of many football fans around the world is the big question: can Bedistan become the first nation to ever win three consecutive World Cups? Surf, however, declined to comment on that matter. "I try to keep it out of my mind as much as possible. When you start letting huge things like that become your goal, you have a tendency to crack under the pressure, and that's not what I want this team to do."

Krytenia

19-05-2006, 19:46

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png
So We Meet Again Mr Hanjeli...Hasel...Seletao
by Bill Tulos in The Archregimancy*

KRYTENIA completed their qualifying run in style with a two-nil victory over plucky Dance 2 Revolution, and with it sealed an interesting tie for the second round.

The Aces will face Rejistania in their second round clash, which throws up the interesting situation of Orange-Blues boss Seletao facing the nation in which he made his name. Seletao spent over a decade managing Avidia City before the lasane called; his side is an interesting blend of Karelan might and Avidian flair which could see the Rejistanians overcome Krytenia for the first time ever.

Fans on this side of the divide, however, are hoping he doesn't. Even those who wear Avidian red.

DANCE 2 REVOLUTION - 0

KRYTENIA - 2
Wood-Collins 29
Tejai 70

TOURNAMENT SCORERS
M. Friday - 6
J. Jaffacake-Phillips - 6
J. Quinnell - 6
Tejai - 2
G. Kennedy - 1
J-C. Wood-Collins 1

QUALIFYING SCHEDULE
MD1: NO FIXTURE
MD2: A v ALG D 0-0
MD3: A v TLM W 3-1
MD4: A v GEI W 2-0
MD5: A v TYN W 2-0
MD6: H v TLC W 2-1 (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD7: H v TUR L 2-3 (New City Stadium, Avidia)
MD8: NO FIXTURE
MD9: H v ALG D 0-0 (The Mound, Secklow)
MD10: H v TLM W 2-1 (ArenaWest, Aigburth)
MD11: H v GEI D 2-2 (Denbigh Park, Ousevale)
MD12: H v TYN L 0-1 (Mellion Lane, Davisham)
MD13: A v TLC W 3-0
MD14: A v TUR L 0-3

FINALS SCHEDULE
R1M1: N v SQU D 1-1
R1M2: N v SRZ W 1-0
R1M3: N v DDR W 2-0
RO16: N v REJ ?????

*NB: Rami will be back for the game against Rejistania.

Starblaydia

19-05-2006, 20:37

Starblaydia To Face Casari in Last 16 Again
2nd Round of A World Cup? Remember what happened last time...

Dragging themselves up by the boot laces, Starblaydia fought back against their recent critics with a 1-0 victory over rivals Tadjikistan. The two teams, who met only last year* in the Third Place match of the 2nd Draggonnii Inviyatii, faced each other in the final Group Stage match of World Cup 28.

Though Starblaydia came out 4-2 victors in Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, it was a very different match in New Montreal States. Last year there were lots of young kids like Zinaldi, Von Erich, Rujano and Cortez all fighting for a World Cup place. This time is was eleven guaranteed starters attempting to progress to the Second Round.

Johan Keifner, really, was the difference. Though 'Dash' was his main beneficiary, scoring the only goal of the game, Keifner's size, power and presence drew defenders like Krytenians to bad taste clothing. So, when the three man defence found themselves all trying to win the ball from Keifner, Tolkacheva was a simply back-heel away, then merely a simple scorching right-foot shot away from a Starblaydi victory.

It was Dasha's 40th goal of her international career, leaving her just four away from equaling the record held jointly by Zhorin Tumunzahar and Simeone Di Bradini. Her 40 goals, however, have come in exactly 59 games for her country, while SDB and Tumunzahar took 84 and 91 games respectively to reach that tally. That shows you just how good this woman is.

Starblaydia 1 - 0 Tadjikistan
(Tolkacheva 62) - (None)

*OOC: By the Starblaydi calendar

Milchama

20-05-2006, 02:43

Keltic Picayune-Newspaper-Chronicle-Times-Journal-Sun-Mail-Globe

Sports Section

Wait, What the hell?

That has got to be what Milchama football fans are saying the world over after our proud Warriors won their group after a narrow 1-0 over Mcpsychoville. This time last cup fans were putting their faces in paper bags as the Warriors limped to a -8 GD in 3 games after getting crushed by all 3 group opponents. But what a difference a cup makes as after a shock draw with Audioslavia the Warriors dominated the Crusaders from Jeruselem to first and kept it today with a win over Mcpsychoville. Coach Jamie Smith said, "The game was definitely closer than we would have liked but a win is a win and we certainly got that today. We now have a tough opponent in the next round against Fmjphoenix but I think that with some luck and skill we could do it. We have tied them before, actually it might have been in World Cup 25."
Now onto how they scored as announced by Claude Finken:

79th minute: Kilinin on the wing, she beats the defender to the left and now goes down and passes over to Rintell. Rintell with a tricky moves and that give him space and he uses it and passes a through ball, that finds Spot Nielson! Nielson alone the defender trying to catch up, he won't and Nielson shoots! GOOOOOOOOAL!!!!!!!!!! 1-0 Milchama, good shot there by Nielson to give the Warriors the lead and pretty much secure advancement as with 10 minutes left it looks tough for the Psychoes to score two goals to give us the loss.

Final Score:
Milchama 1 (Nielson 79)
Mcpyschoville 0 (If only we can do this to Fmj...)

Now onto the infamous Milchamian predictions:

Well Fmjphoenix looks to be a tough opponent as they are ranked number 14 in the world and have had some big dissapointments en route to that ranking. Their U21 squad in one of the best in the world and most importantly they have beaten us before. This all of course means that we will get the upset (Well no we'll actually be crushed like little bugs but I don't want to believe that).
Our Prediction for the match:
Milchama 1-2 Fmjphoenix AET

Milchama Man of the Match:
Spot Nielson: In what largely looked like a lazy match for Milchama without much real enthusiasm his goal brought them enough to win the game and get first in the group and secure advancement in the World Cup for the the first time.

New Montreal States

20-05-2006, 06:17

Scores for everyone playing in the Archregimancy, as well as for Arch vs. Tadjikistan, have been telegrammed.

Fmjphoenix

20-05-2006, 08:58

Vikings return to quarter-finals to face Terminators again

Whatever the Vikings did or didn't lack against Bedistan, they sure didn't show any ill-effects against Milchama. In front of a full crown of 80,000 at the Simonopetra MCG, the Vikings jumped to an early lead and never relinquished it en route to a 3-0 victory over the Warriors to more to the quarter-finals for only the second time in team history.

Right off the back, the Warriors came out fight. They took the first three shots, one each by Spot Nielson, Floren Albentine and Dunston Copperlee. Justin Keys was sharp though, as he got a hand on the shots by Nielson and Albertine. Coperlee's attempted shot was just high and sailed over the crossbar. Once the Vikings to possession, things went fast. Within two minutes they had crossed over half the field off of the foot of Kerien Haylcon. His kick downfield was recieved by Laura Boyd, who crossed to Siieranu Ijanaeil, whose head produced the first goal of the match as the clocked ticked 9 minutes. Mike Nolan didn't take to long to get himself involved in the scoring. Desmond Howard stepped up and challenged Antoine Sanchez, who was rushing up the left side all alone. With impecable timing, Howard slid at Sanchez and knocked the ball loose. It was recovered by Nolan, who ran back the way Sanchez came and took a shot from the side that Clay Finton could not get a hand on for a 2-0 lead after 15 minutes. The remaining half hour turned into a possession battle, with the Vikings controlling for close to 20 minutes of the half. Copperlee almost brought his team within one goal before the end of the first half though, but his shot from 30 feet out caromed off of the right goal post and fell harmlessly out of bounds.

Coach Wash tried to get his team to rush for a quick goal at the start of the second half, but a badd pass by Brady Wayne was nearly converted into a goal by the warriors, but Keys cleared Copperlee's third shot of the night. Brian Dougood also got into the scoring, albeit a little later into the match. A rough challenge by Casey Stockholm left a nasty bruise on Dougood's right shin, but the goal he scored from the ensuing penalty shot that was awarded bruised the Warriors far worse. With that final goal in the 70th minute, the Vikings focused on ball control and managed to keep the Warriors from managing anything closer than a 25 foot attempt that was batted away by Keys. Keys was named man of the match after notching his 8th clean sheet of World Cup 28.

With their vicotry over Milchama, the Vikings prepare for the next matchup. Liverpool England is a team the Vikings know very well. There is probably not a team that they have played in the WC more than the Terminators. Even though most coaches would probably frown at having to face the second ranked team in the world, but Wash seemed pleased at the outcome.

"Even though it will be a tough matchup, its kinda nice that things worked like this. Now we have a chance to go against Liverpool England in a similar situation as we did the last time we matched up. This is our chance to come back and take it to the next level."

Fmjphoenix: 3 (Ijanaeil 9, Nolan 15, Dougood 70)
Milchama: 0 (None)

World Cup 28 Records: 11-2-3
------------------------Qualifiers-------------------------
MD01: -BYE-
MD02: Fmjphoenix 3 - 0 Magnus Valerius
MD03: Fmjphoenix 2 - 1 New Lexington
MD04: Fmjphoenix 3 - 0 St. Happenin
MD05: Fmjphoenix 1 - 0 Bazalonia
MD06: Fmjphoenix 0 - 1 Cataduanes
MD07: Fmjphoenix 1 - 2 Wentland
MD08: -BYE-
MD09: Fmjphoenix 3 - 0 Magnus Valerius
MD10: Fmjphoenix 1 - 1 New Lexington
MD11: Fmjphoenix 1 - 0 St. Happenin
MD12: Fmjphoenix 3-0 Bazalonia
MD13: Fmjphoenix 2 - 2 Cataduanes
MD14: Fmjphoenix 3 - 2 Wentland
------------------------World Cup------------------------
GS01: Fmjphoenix 1 - 0 Ariddia
GS02: Fmjphoenix 3 - 1 Turori
GS03: Fmjphoenix 1 - 3 Bedistan
SR: Fmjphoenix 3 - 0 Milchama
QF: Fmjphoenix ? - ? Liverpool England

Vikings Goalscorers
M. Nolan 17
B. Dougood 6
S. Ijanaeil 4
A. Jenkins 3
L. Boyd 1

The Archregimancy

20-05-2006, 09:34

Scores for the three other matches in NMS (excluding the Archregimancy/Tadjikistan match scorinated by my co-host) have now also been telegrammed to NMS, HC, Bedistan, Jeruselem, Rejistania and Krytenia.

Have fun!

Tadjikistan

20-05-2006, 09:44

Game over for Tadjiks

Ville Marie - World Cup 28 ended for the Tadjik Tigers yesterday in Ville Marie when they found themselves on the wrong end of a 2-0 score, sending the Tigers back to Dushanbe. But the Tadjiks were not ashamed or dissapointed, the defeat was expected.

'I still think that we should have drawn Casari in this round, maybe they're stronger in the ranking list, they are no hosts. We knew we'd be going up against a strong side, despite its lower ranking and even the fact that we faced them in New Montreal States does not change that' Coach Zaev said in relation to Tadjikistans loss. A win here would have made Zaev a hero, since this has only been achieved once in the 17 World Cups Tadjikistan has played in its history.

The President of the Tadjik National Football Federation, Blagoja Samblevski was dissapointed, but still believes Alexander Zaev did a good job 'Zaev got us qualified in WC27, after a disastrous first round in the qualifications and here, he managed to get us to the second round. There is no reason to be ashamed and certainly no reason to fire this man. Alexander Zaev has received a new contract and he'll be leading the Tadjik Tigers on World Cup 29.'

Though Zaev will have to look for a new Assistant as Daniel Gurchev decided to quit and lead a foreign team in the future, but Zaev already found a worthy replacement for Tadjikistans former number one, 'Oleg Salenko, Tadjik topscorer with 17 goals during WC26, now 44 has accepted the offer and he will assist me during the 3rd Draggonnii Inviyatii. So we'll be back and who knows, maybe we'll actually manage to reach the quarterfinals next time or win the Draggonnii Inviyatii.'

MD1: Bye
MD2: Atheistic Right - Tadjikistan D 0-0
MD3: Tadjikistan - Radke W 4-2
MD4: N. Ceasarea - Tadjikistan D 1-1
MD5: Apo. Kittens - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD6: Tadjikistan - Pastorville W 4-0
MD7: Tadjikistan - Spruitland D 0-0
MD8: Bye
MD9: Tadjikistan - Atheistic Right W 2-0
MD10: Radke - Tadjikistan W 0-3
MD11: Tadjikistan - N. Ceasarea W 3-0
MD12: Tadjikistan - Apo. Kittens W 2-1
MD13: Pastorville - Tadjikistan L 2-0
MD14: Spruitland - Tadjikistan W 1-3
------------------WC28-----------------------------------
MD1: Tadjikistan - The Islands of Qutar W 3-0
MD2: Tadjikistan - Spruitland W 2-0
MD3: Starblaydia - Tadjikistan L 1-0
------------------1/16th finals--------------------------
MD1: The Archregimancy - Tadjikistan L 2-0
--------------------------------------------------------

Tadjik Goalscorers:
Saradov - 11
Tulberdiev - 7
Zyrianov - 6
Elisarov - 3
Kirponos - 1
Maximov - 1

Starblaydia

20-05-2006, 13:57

Seven-Goal Thriller!
Starblaydia edge out Casari

Goalfest. They don't come along very often in games like this: the Quarter-Finals of the World Cup. In fact, there were more goals in this game than in all three of Starblaydia's Group 4 matches combined (seven against six). There haven't been seven goals in a Starblaydi international match since the 7-1 defeat of Collonie in the Ylompic Games, or back to World Cup 27 Qualifying with the 7-0 and 8-0 record defeats of Shing-Shang and Obsidianus respectively.

This match, however, was much closer than those record victories.

Things started exceptionally quickly as Paul Noble scored within fifty seconds of the kick-off, nipping in at the near post from a Tolkacheva corner to re-direct the ball in off the post. Barely a minute after kicking off the match, Casari were kicking off again, thanks to that a long-range deflected shot from Durum Rage that won the initial corner and some poor marking by Jay Letra. One-nil Starblaydia. RAWRCRUSH was in full effect, as proclaimed by many purple-coloured banners around the stadium.

Casari, playing in white with blue tiger stripes, knew they were in for a long afternoon against their purple-wearing opponents - Starblaydia in their change kit for this match. Robert Scoir made up for his Tyrellian International team mate some twenty-five minute later as he intercepted a wayward Antonis Kouvas pass upfield and raced away. Shrugging off the challenge of Juan Valdez, Scoir fired across Bedford's body and into the net for 1-1. Game on.

Starblaydia immediately came back with a vengeance, feeling almost as if they were now one-nil down rather than had just been pegged back to one-all. The purple tide swept forward and it was the little Dwarf Durum Rage who profited with his name on the scoresheet. Casari had been on levels terms with Starblaydia throughout the match for less than three hundred seconds by the time the twenty-seventh minute arrived and Rage scored. Benefitting from a Tolkacheva run and defence-splitting pass, Rage struck for the far post with a shot that just quirmed pas tthe fingertips of Scott William, the Casaran with the gloves.

Robert Scoir's positioning, however, again proved to be excellent as he made and then scored Casari's second equaliser. Holding up the ball well in the middle, he moved it out wide to the winger before breaking into space and receiving a well-played through ball, leaving him one-on-one with Bedford. Bedford, for once, didn't have the strikers' number and it was 2-2 moments later. That's how the teams went in at half-time; as level as they'd been when they came out.

Cornerian forward Lari Elsise gave Casari the lead for the first - and subsequently only - time in the match, though it lasted for half an hour. That was until, of course, Dasha Tolkacheva really turned on the power. With Maivia Von Erich on for Keifner as a different kind of strike partner, Tolkacheva was able to run the Casarans ragged. Eight minutes before the end her chance finally came, and she fired into the top-left corner from the edge of the penalty area, the first time she'd had a real oppurtunity to grab some space in the second half. Five minutes later 'Dash' bagged the winner and broke Casarn hearts for the second time in a World Cup Second Round match.

Twelve years ago Starblaydia defeated Casari by a single goal in the Second Round of a World Cup. They went on to win the whole thing. Can they do it again? Total n Utter Insanity are their next opponents, returning once again to the simulacra of the MCG in The Archregimancy.

Casari 3 - 4 Starblaydia
(Scoir 25 & 38, Elsise 55) - (Noble 1, Rage 27, Tolkacheva 82 & 88)

Jeruselem

20-05-2006, 14:32

Harry Kool sits down looking depressed. Jeruselem had lost it's 2nd round game to Bedistan 2-1 but the Lions had score in overtime to evict Jeruselem from World Cup once again for the 4th time. Harry was a member of team who had played in World Cup 27 who lost in overtime to New Montreal States. Once again, the dreaded overtime curse had struck. World Cup 28, history had repeated itself. The score was one all at full time and the opponent scored in overtime. World Cup 27 and 28 - cloned each others results.

"Harry! Its all right. We can do in World Cup 29. The team tried their best and lost to the top seed Bedistan in style. We were not disgraced at all. Everyone will respect us still." his girlfriend Rachel said.

"No, it's not team being disgraced. I was their in World Cup 27, and you know - being so close to the quarterfinals only to concede a goal in overtime. It's hard to recover, the old wounds are open. I really feel for the team right now - that are experiencing pain right now. And we happened to lose in the states, how ironic." he sobbed.

"Well, you know New Montreal States are playing Hockey Canada. Well, Hockey Canada got revenge on the states in World Cup 27 for you. The Canucks won two one." Rachel tried to cheer him up.

He looked up "Really? Well, that's some consolidation but we won't be there. Bedistan won fairly but how can you come so close ... twice!"

Rachel said "Err, I know it's a bad time but I want to ask you something"

He replied "Oh?"

Rachel "Do you want children and a wife?"

He looked at her "You mean, you're proposing?"

Rachel "Yeah, bad timing with our team losing but yes ..."

He looked at her and cried "Yes, I accept. You know without you it's hard to handle situations like this."

She cried and hugged him "You won't regret his! You will be the next World Cup coach, because God wills it. Your team will lead us to the quarter finals"

<later>

Harry and Rachel walk into Jeruselem team room. It's all quiet with upset players and a coach trying to cheer them up, to no avail.

Mr X said "Hi guys, as you see. Everyone is rather depressed."

Harry "Team, World Cup 27. I was here like you losing two one in overtime. I know the pain and suffering of being so close. I still suffer but World Cup 29 will be your cup. And I'm getting married to Rachel here."

The Jeruselem team stood up and congratuated the new couple.

Mr X stood and announced "I'm retiring to get my own wife. I'm getting too old for this. I am tendering Harry Kool here to become new Jeruselem coach"

The team cheered again and sprayed the couple with Champagne "Harry! Harry! Harry! ..."

OOC Same 2nd round result in WC27 and WC28 ...:eek: :confused:

Milchama

20-05-2006, 14:52

Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Domestic-International-Star-News-Today

Sports Section

Ze la Battle Finale

Well it's the final battle for the Milchama Warriors in WC 28 as we lost in a poor and bad performance 3-0 to Fmjphoenix. They were dominated from start to finish and only had a few chances that were easily saved by the Viking goalie. It seemed as if the Warriors choked after beating and tying teams that many consider to be better than the Vikings in Jeruselem and Audioslavia. Coach Jamie Smith said, "The guys just didn't look like they could handle the pressure of being in the second round of the World Cup. They tried early to calm their nerves but that first goal by Ijanail just seemed to really get them worked up and the next goal by Nolan just stopped their attack as after that goal we just could not get any really good chances. Well we have taken a big step forward this cup and next cup I think we will be able to take the next leap and get to the quarterfinals and maybe even in the top 10. We just need to be able to handle the pressure of playing against some of the best squads in the world."

Well things are looking up for the next cup. We'll see ya'll at the Dragonii Invitational.

Krytenia

20-05-2006, 17:10

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png
The Rejis Is Dead, Long Live The Kings!
by Rami Niblick in New Montreal States

ONE hoodoo down, one still burning brightly. Rejistania were swept aside like a paper bag in a tornado as the forward-minded Krytenians struck gold in this second round encounter. The four-time world champions looked like a side lost and out of their depth as Ricky Mallon orchestrated a footballing masterclass and took Krytenia to their first quarter-final on foreign soil.

Krytenia's plan was simple; score early. Jean-Christophe Wood-Collins was the first to put the Orange-Blues' defence under pressure early on, as his long-range effort was stopped only by a fingertip save from the inspired Jiri Kes. (At this point, we'd like to point out the irony in Seletao's selection of a player whose name is an anagram of his predecessor.) Cameron Stevenson nodded narrowly wide from the corner. On twelve minutes, Kes again denied the sky blue onslaught, this time diving at the feet of Josh Quinnell. Quinnell landed awkwardly after leaping over the young Rejistanian, and had to go off; Colin Eccleston came on to replace him.

It proved to be an inspired substitution. Mere minutes later, Eccleston latched onto a beautiful over-the-shoulder ball from Marlon Friday that left Viki flat-footed, and not even Kes could stop the Mercia striker's powerful strike into the bottom corner.

Krytenia had the early goal, and were now forcing the Rejistanians to ask some questions; something that the Orange-Blues are not well-known for. The Aces kept things tidy without over exerting themselves, and lone striker Hetaki was kept close tabs on by the combined efforts of Stevenson and Tony Aspell. Aspell, however, was the second Krytenian to limp off in the first half; he overstretched to make a tackle, and went off with a hamstring strain. The injury is not, though, thought to be serious; however it did mean a rare run-out for Levell Sanders.

Krytenia went for plan 'A' again at the start of the second half, hoping to catch the Rejistanians cold. Ecclestone was, once again, a thorn in the side of the Rejistanian back five, and it was his pass that set up Thomas Cooper for the deciding second goal. Given a couple of strides in which to shoot, Cooper took the cance mercilessly - for the second time, Jiri Kes was beaten by a shot he could do nothing about.

Two goals to the good, and it was time for Krytenia to go "lights out". Seletao performed the Rejistanian cardinal sin of switching to two forwards late on as he brought on Haraira Tamak~hi, but to no avail. Krytenia had the victory, and with it, a chance to make real waves. Not that the path is easy. Far from it; their next opponents will be none other than Bedistan, northern neighbours and resting place of the trophy for the past eight years.

Oh well, you know what they say: To be the best, you've got to beat the best. Here's to hope.

REJISTANIA - 0

KRYTENIA - 2
Eccleston 19
Cooper 48

TOURNAMENT SCORERS
M. Friday - 6
J. Jaffacake-Phillips - 6
J. Quinnell - 6
Tejai - 2
T. Cooper - 1
C. Eccleston - 1
G. Kennedy - 1
J-C. Wood-Collins 1

QUALIFYING SCHEDULE
MD1: NO FIXTURE
MD2: A v ALG D 0-0
MD3: A v TLM W 3-1
MD4: A v GEI W 2-0
MD5: A v TYN W 2-0
MD6: H v TLC W 2-1 (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD7: H v TUR L 2-3 (New City Stadium, Avidia)
MD8: NO FIXTURE
MD9: H v ALG D 0-0 (The Mound, Secklow)
MD10: H v TLM W 2-1 (ArenaWest, Aigburth)
MD11: H v GEI D 2-2 (Denbigh Park, Ousevale)
MD12: H v TYN L 0-1 (Mellion Lane, Davisham)
MD13: A v TLC W 3-0
MD14: A v TUR L 0-3

FINALS SCHEDULE
R1M1: N v SQU D 1-1
R1M2: N v SRZ W 1-0
R1M3: N v DDR W 2-0
RO16: N v REJ W 2-0
QTRF: N v BDS ?????

Audioslavia

20-05-2006, 18:07

"What a load of rubbish... what a load of rubbish... what a load of rubbish..."

"We wan't our money back! We wan't our money back!..."

"If Rijkaard can play for 'slavia so can I, If Rijkaard can play for 'slavia so can i..."

and, just generally,

"Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"

were the main songs sung by the Audioslavians in the Montreal states this week, following disgusting performances against Milchama, McPsychoville and Jerusalem which saw the national side dumped out of the competition.

The Audioslavian team that played in this tournament were not a patch on the sides that have graced the world stage in the past. It is Audioslavia's worst performance in a world cup since World Cup 5, and their worst performance in the finals in history.

"We didn't turn up" said one supporter. "We didn't turn up, we didn't prepare, and we didn't perform. The team were pathetic. Enough said."

Many are predicting a tough time in the qualifiers for the next tournament. If the side even enter

IBJJ, G'NB

The Archregimancy

21-05-2006, 02:31

THE ARCHREGIMANCY BRINGS YOU

WORLD CUP TONIGHT

With Fr. Nicholas the Scribe and Fr. John the Golden-Throated

"So.... Fr. John... I understand we have a guest in the studio tonight..."

"That we do, Fr. Nicholas. Let's say a warm welcome to leading Archregimancy TV personality Fr. Seraphim the Occasionally Dangerously Free-Thinking Theologian"

"Hello. Fr. John. Fr. Nicholas."

"And I believe you have something to say, Fr. Seraphim."

"Indeed. I think the two of you owe Tadjikistan and Cataduanes an apology, Fr. John. First of all, the Tadjiks _aren't_ militant atheist communists. True, they're mostly atheist or Muslims, but they haven't been communists for years, and I have it on good authority that midfielder Yuri Maximov is in fact a faithful son of the Orthodox Church. In fact, he was seeking a pre-match blessing from Coach Kyrill Metropolitan of Solovetsky before last night's match, and the coach was happy to oblige."

"Well I never. On behalf of both Fr. Nicholas and myself, allow me to apologise - especially to this nice Maximov lad."

"But the two of you made a far greater mistake by referring to at least one Cataduanes player as 'Hell-bound'. Now, I concede that the Cataduanes players are Catholic schismatics, but surely you know that it's not up to you to decide upon whom God's grace will alight? True, the Orthodox church holds that the best chance of eternal life comes through Orthodoxy, but that's the best chance. Unlike these weird heretical Protestants, we do not pretend to presume that we understand the mystery of God's love, and simply can't assume that non-Orthodox will be hell-bound. This is a decision for God, not for man. I suggest you read your Kallistos Ware a little more closely in future"

"Thank you, Fr. Seraphim. We stand corrected. In the meantime, perhaps Fr. John can tell us about last night's match against the non-communist atheists, Muslims, and single Orthodox starter from Tadjikistan...."

"My pleasure, Fr. Nicholas.... It was a tough, tight - but fair - game against a Tadjik squad that in many ways can consider itself unlucky not to take the game into extra time. After the second XI debacle against Casari, Coach Kyrill fielded a full-strength team for the second round match, and the opening stages were very cagey indeed.

This long-range shot from Tulberdiev was the only on-target attempt of the first 20 minutes, and the monastic and tiger midfields seemed almost to be playing chess in a slow-paced extremely technical battle in the centre of the pitch.

The match started to heat up following this 34th shot from Orthodox midfielder Maximov - what a nice young man! - that Fr. Justinian just tipped around the post.

But the match turned on an incident in the 42th minute, when Fr. Polycarp was fouled just outside the Tadjik area. The venerable monastic midfielder insisted on taking the free-kick himself, and unleashed a thunderbolt that the atheist Suchomlinov was simply unable to reach.

The second half was end to end action, with Zyrianov in particular unlucky not to equal the scores following this fine 51st through pass from that lovely Orthodox Maximov lad, and Fr. Justinian made another fine save in the 68th minute off Saradov.

And then came the second turning point in the match. In the 89th minute, a desparate Tadjikistan were throwing everything forward, as the Archregimancy defence held against the attack, their fortitude strengthened by faith. The Tigers won a corner as time was running out, and Suchomlinov came forward to help the attack. Fr. Michael the Greater won the ball, passed it forward to Fr. Polycarp, who spotted that Suchomlinov was well outside his area, and launched an extraordinary lob three-quarters of the length of the field that trickled across the goal line before a despairing Zaparov could reach the ball. 2-0 to the Archregimancy, but the Tigers had been the better team for large portions of the match, and I have to admit that they can consider themselves unlucky"

"And I understand that the squad have become stars in New Montreal States!"

"Yes, Fr. Nicholas. Amazingly, this was the first match we'd ever played in the States, and the Orthodox faithful in our co-hosts seem to have really taken the team to heart. 'Like Rock Stars' according to one local newspaper, though I'm not sure what a 'Rock Star' is..."

"Perhaps it's some form of particularly brilliant rock art, Fr. John?"

"Perhaps... But Fr. Polycarp alone has been asked to perform 16 house blessings, women are besieging the team's monastery to ask squad members to baptise their children, and any number of local parish churches have asked Coach Kyrill to act as co-celebrant for the liturgy. I tell you, life's not like this back home....."

"So now the quarterfinals, Fr. John...."

"Yes - Hockey Canada at the Paladin Dome. The lads have done amazingly well to get this far, and even if they don't progress any further, at least the NMS faithful will be cheering them to the rafters against the Canucks...."

Starblaydia

21-05-2006, 15:43

Honours For Starblaydia's Greatest
Starblaydia nominate two players to Hall of Fame

In recognition of Starblaydia's excellent acheivements in the international footballing scene, the World Cup Committee saw two Starblaydi player inducted into the World Cup Hall of Fame in a ceremony earlier today.

The two players, both legends in their own right, are Menecrates and Cherry Garcia, to incredible midfielders who lit up the World Cup during their long and successful careers. Both World Cup 25 Winners, they are added to the distinguished list of Starblaydis already present in the Hall of Fame: Simeone Di Bradini, Jerome Montefalcon, Nunzio Gre and Nick Matranga.

Menecrates
Menecrates, 36, was the first real graduate of the Corinthian Spirits' Youth Academy, making his name as an Attacking Midfielder who can play anywhere in midfield, such is his two-footed ability. An excellent range of passing combined with speeds, great touch and the ability to hold the ball up made him the perfect lynchpin for the Starblaydia Under-21s side and a vital part of a young up-and-coming Corinthian Spirits side.

Such was his ability that he was named the Young Player of the Year for Season Five. He cemented his place in the public eye by scoring the Goal of the Season in his very next year. As Captain, he led the Spirits to the Season Seven Championship, too.

As perhaps the most-potent attacking force in Liga Starblaydia, Menecrates was placed at the spearhead of Starblaydia's midfield for World Cup 25. The incredibly-talented proved just how good he was, scoring Starblaydia's equaliser in the Final with just 8 minutes to go in the match, setting up an outrageous 2-1 win over Rejistania to take Starblaydia's first World Crown at Football.

He then captained Starblaydia's drive to defend their crown, but was denied after a 4-1 thrashing by Crystilakere in the Seond Round of World Cup 26. For World Cup 27 he once more took the captain's armband in what would prove to be his last appearance for Starblaydia. He bagged his third international career hat-trick (a Starblaydi record) against Spaam in the qualifiers and also scored in the Finals against New Montreal States and Commerce Heights as Starblaydia went to the Semi-Finals, only to lose to eventual champions Bedistan. Starblaydia did, however, finish third as they defeated Squornshelous 3-0 in the Play-Off, allowing a fitting send-off to Menecrates' international career. He came back for 'one more match' in a friendly against New Montreal States, a team he had so terrorised in his pomp, and promptly scored his final goal for his country.

He finished his career fourth in Starblaydia's list of all-time goalscorers, with his tally of 30 goals behind only the legendary Simeone Di Bradini (44), Zhorin Tumunzahar (44), and Dasha Tolkacheva (32).

Cherry Garcia
Cherry Garcia, 34, burst onto the international scene as a 15 year-old when she was called up - along with Jade Matranga - by Khim Azanulbizarn to the Starblaydia Under-21s squad for Under-21 World Cup 17. Cherry made three substitute appearances in U21WC17, scoring her first goal against Cockbill Street in a 3-2 win on Matchday Three.

When Trotsgrad hosted the Perusa Invitational Tournament, Starblaydia sent the Under-19s squad to officially represent them at a 'senior' level under the command of Fabricio de Souza Lima to Trotsgrad, with a 16 year-old Cherry starting on the Right Wing with the coveted #7 shirt. It took Cherry just seven minutes, to make an impact, scoring the first goal in a 2-2 draw with PopularFreedom. She scored three further goals in that tournament, though Starblaydia's young team could not progress past the Group Stage against more experienced opponents.

After her performances in the Under-21s and in Trotsgrad, Jhanna City Manager was building his team around Itechton Matranga and decided that two women would be best for his team, signing Cherry and Turorian Martiia Rawaii for Season 6. This proved to be an excellent season for Cherry as she was named as the Young Player of the Year, an incredible acheivement.

With yet-another in what is proving to be a long, long line of acheivements, Cherry, at the age of just 22, was awarded the Number-Seven shirt in Starblaydia's World Cup 25 Campaign. This shirt has been worn by many of the Starblaydi greats as Aiden Matranga, Stefan Haldorsson, J.J. Stark, Geraint Evans, Nick Matranga, Juan Santiago and Giovanni Lopez. Adding herself to this list was an acheivement in itself, but winning the World Cup has made her Starblaydia's greatest-ever sportswoman.

The Starblaydia women's national football team also owe their nickname to Cherry. As the veteran of the team at the time of their inception she was named Captain and the team were consistently referred to as "Cherry's Team". The nickname soon stuck and so the Starblaydia Ladies team are now officially nicknamed "The Cherries".

The two players were officially inducted by Starblaydi President of the world Cup Committee, Giovanni Lopez, with many other members of the Hall and the current Starblaydi squad turning out for the glittering, star-studded occasion. Starblaydia play Total n Utter Insanity in the Quarter-Finals of World Cup 28 tomorrow, and this celebration is sure to only heighten the anticipation that Starblaydia can once again go all the way to the Final and win it again. World Cup Winner Jaime Oberlander certainly thinks so:

"Back in Twenty-Five there was a certain spirit to the team," he said, "something which I think this team has too. It was a certian Under-21 core side that Azanulbizarn relied on back then, and he's doing the same thing now. These players know their colleagues' games inside out, and I think we can go all the way again."

The Archregimancy

22-05-2006, 07:01

THE MONASTIC TIMES

ARCHREGIMANCY KNOCKED OUT IN QUARTERFINALS
Prayers not answered against Hockey Canada

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

The Archregimancy's theologically-inspired run to the quarterfinals of the World Cup came to an end overnight as the host destroying Canucks - who have now knocked both hosts out of the tournament - eased to a 2-0 win over our brave monastic lads.

Sources within the squad have revealed that star forward Fr. Silouan of the Seventy Caves and right-winger Fr. Pavel the Wanderer may have been below par as they had been caught blessing local citizens' houses and baptising infants into the small hours of the morning before the match. Coach Kyrill, Metropolitan of Solovetsky, released a statement noting simply that an internal investigation was underway, and that the players would be disciplined by their home monastery if found guilty of impropriety.

Certainly there can be no doubt that Hockey Canada - despite the militant atheism of many of their players - were quite simply the better team on the night, and that the spark of hesychast inspiration that had taken the Archregimancy into the quarterfinals was sorely lacking for the co-hosts in the Paladin dome yesterday evening.

Midfielder Fr. Polycarp the Venerable - who had come out of retirement specially for this tournament, and had been the star in the second round win against Tadjikistan despite the controversy over his return - announced his second retirement directly after the match. "It is time to turn my attention more fully towards God in these my final years and return to my lonely hermitage deep in the desolate snow-capped mountains" said the aging midfielder in a statement "though I hope I have contributed in some small way towards the advance of Orthodox football in my time". Fr. Polycarp will be honoured with the presentation of a special pectoral cross upon the team's return home.

New Montreal States

22-05-2006, 07:03

As the Archregimancy's post might indicate, quarterfinal scores have been telegrammed. Semifinals will be scorinated in 48 hours.

Group stage results have been posted here. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11003240&postcount=19)

Starblaydia

22-05-2006, 11:53

Ricky and Rage Commit Insanicians
Men in white shirts kick TnUI out at Quarters

Starblaydia made it to the Semi-Finals of the World Cup for the third time in four attempts yesterday as they defeated The U21WC Hosting Nation of Total n Utter Insanity. Elsewhere there were mixed fortunes for other Atlantian Oceania nations: Fmjphoenix fell to Liverpool England but Hockey Canada defeated co-hosts The Archregimancy, while the Krytenia/Bedistan match was always going to produce one AO winner and one AO loser.

Starblaydia's victory was courtesy of two players who have really come alive during the World Cup Finals. Durum Rage bagged his seventh goal of the campaign, and second during Finals with an impressively-struck shot from outside the penalty area that was drilled into the bottom-corner of the net, just shaving the inside of the post. Then it was Ricardo Almeida's turn. Almeida, who hadn't scored a single goal from Right-Back throughout his international career, now finds himself with two goals to his name after netting first against Qutar and now against the Insanicians.

Next up come Liverpool England - a team Starblaydia haven't faced since World Cup 23, where they lost 1-0 in the Group Stages at Le Temple de Karela in Eauz. That campaign also included a 1-0 win over Tadjikistan, victory over Total n Utter Insanity and meetings against Spruitland in the Qualifiers. That time Starblaydia were dumped out at the Quarter-Finals by Bedistan, 3-2, but could this time prove to be the pit of molten metal that will finally stop Liverpool England's charge to a third straight final?

Total n Utter Insanity 0 - 2 Starblaydia
(None) - (Rage 36, Almeida 51)

New Montreal States

24-05-2006, 06:23

The Bedistan/HC semifinal has been telegrammed.

The Archregimancy

24-05-2006, 06:53

And the Star/LE one is on its way as soon as I hit 'submit reply'

Starblaydia

24-05-2006, 12:46

Gimme Gimme World Domination
Starblaydia power into World Cup 28 Final

The World Cup 25 Champions overcame the World Cup 24 Champions relatively easily in the Semi-Final of World Cup 28. Three goals to one was the final scoreline and it takes Starblaydia into an all-Atlantian Oceania Final against either Bedistan or Hockey Canada*, the outcome of which will be decided later on.

Starblaydia will await either the double World Champions or near-neighbours Hockey Canada in a 'Battle of Calania' - as all three Atlantian Oceania nations reside on the same Landmass in AO. The last time Starblaydia met either of these nations was in World Cup 27, just four years ago, when Starblaydia dumped Hockey Canada out of the Second Round 2-0, before being beaten by eventual Champions Bedistan 3-2 in Extra Time.

Starblaydia's good recent history against Liverpool England (two Ylompic victories, by both the Men's and Women's teams in the later knockout stages) was continued as they put four in the net against the Terminators, including one offisde goal by Ricardo Almeida. Dasha Tolkacheva had to make it 1-1 after forty minutes following Christopher Weatherly's opening strike.

Dasha now lies just a single goal away from the all-time Starblaydi record of 44. What price Dasha equalling and then breaking the record set by Simeone Di Bradini and also equalled by Zhorin Tumunzahar in the World Cup 28 Final? Yet more expectation will be placed on Starblaydi shoulders after Paul Noble's shot that gave Starblaydia the lead just after half time. That goal, a real screamer, marked Starblaydia's eight hundredth goal in senior international competition.

After Almieda's potential third goal of the Finals was ruled out for offside, Starblaydia finally sealed the game with twenty minutes to go, stretching out a two-goal lead thanks to the ever-reliable left midfielder Javi Chavez.

Starblaydia have finished first and third in recent cups, though now just first or second are available to them. Which will Starblaydia take? Time will tell, and we'll see you in New Montreal States for the Final of World Cup 28.

Final score from Grand Lavra:
Starblaydia 3 - 1 Liverpool England
(Tolkacheva 39, Noble 47, Chavez 71) - (Weatherly 21)

*OOC As Arch couldn't get me the score NMS did for Bedi/HC, I'm going off the fact that the Semis would be played at two different times. As I'm RPing first, I'm playing first :p

Bedistan

24-05-2006, 18:31

http://bellsouthpwp.net/h/a/harleyt_1387/bsd_banner.png

So this is it

NEW MONTREAL -- Once again the Bedistan Lions had made it to the final four. You have to admit, they've had a pretty good record when it comes to that, this being their eleventh such appearance in their twenty-fourth attempt and their sixth in the last eight Cups. Their opponents: a team that certainly could not boast that same record, perhaps because they just hadn't been around as long. When thinking of fearsome teams to play in a World Cup semifinal, Hockey Canada is certainly not the first name that comes to mind, but again, these were the semifinals - no time for complacency.

At first, though, it seemed the Lions may have been a little complacent in this match, as Hockey Canada player #9* managed to put a ball in the Bedistani net in the 13th minute before being ruled offside. The player promptly began shouting at the offending referee (who happened to be Casaran), finally calming down after receiving a yellow card. This event seemed to wake the Lions up a bit, and their improved play in the remainder of the first half allowed only one more shot to be taken by Hockey Canada, which went high into the stands. Unfortunately, Bedistan didn't get very many shots either, as play mostly got bogged down in midfield. The second half started much the same way the first ended, but there was a small crisis when Jerry Crowley fouled Hockey Canada player #11 in the box, causing a yellow card and a penalty. Thankfully, Bedistan goalkeeper Vailatai Issah was up to the task, easily collecting an uninsipired shot from Hockey Canada player #5.

With about twenty minutes to go and the score still 0-0, the Lions knew they had to do something. A few attempts by Salas and Wilson were deflected by Hockey Canada player #1**, but finally attacking midfielder Leonard Hollins found just the right curvature to open the scoring in the 75th minute. The Canucks, naturally, grew a bit desperate after that, effectively throwing caution to the wind. This turned into a disaster for them about ten minutes later as player #6 came under intense pressure from Jackson, Alansa, and Hall and was forced to perform a backpass to the goalkeeper. Player #6 apparently did not realize that the goalkeeper had gone to join the attack, and the ball rolled directly into a completely unoccupied net to make the score 2-0. Player #6 was nearly booed off the pitch after that play, and indeed he had to leave the Paladin Dome under heavy guard after the match. The final minutes of play were uneventful, Bedistan having nothing more they needed to do and Hockey Canada too disheartened to do anything. The whistle blew, and the Lions were off to the final in hopes of doing the unthinkable - winning the World Cup for a third straight time. No nation has done that before, not even Rejistania. Only one team stands in their way.

Starblaydia.

Hey, nobody ever said it was gonna be easy.

finalscore
Bedistan 2 (Hollins 75)
Hockey Canada 0 (#6 og 86)

* OOC: Gotta love meeting rosterless opponents in the bloody semifinals... :rolleyes:
** The goalkeeper, obviously, since (s)he's wearing #1.

Starblaydia

25-05-2006, 15:47

It's Gonna Be The Bedis!
Starblaydia on to stop 'threepeat'

Both four and eight years ago, Liverpool England met Bedistan in the World Cup Final. On both occasions the Terminators failed to stop the Lions, giving Bedistan two titles in a row. Now the seemingly unstoppable green and blue machine is on course for the Final again, and only one thing stands in their way: Starblaydia.

Ranked third in the world. The previous holders of the Cup before Bedistan got their hands on it. The team with the joint-best record of the qualifiers (11 wins and 1 loss, the same as Audioslavia). Defeated 2nd-ranked Liverpool England in the Semi-Final. In Dasha Tolkacheva they have one of the best strikers in the world, never mind in just all-time Starblaydi history.

One more goal and she equals the record: Forty-four goals, set first by the legend that is Simeone Di Bradini, then equalled by World Cup Winner Zhorin Tumunzahar. Two more goals, and she'll be the greatest striker in Starblaydi history, plus two goals in a World Cup Final would have been enough to beat losing finalists all the way back to that epic World Cup 18 seven goal thriller between Rejistania and Kaze Progressa where despite a Sani Luvo Hat-trick, Kaze Progressa still lost, 4-3. The message is clear: in the last forty years, two goals have been enough to win the World Cup. With two goals, Dash can propel herself to the most famous woman on the planet.

As for the 'threepeat' (oh, how I hate that corruption of language), in fact, sod that word, let's use 1-2-3 instead. Three kinds of 1-2-3s could be set with the results of the Final and Third-Placed Play-off:

1-2-3 Part one: If Hockey Canada defeat Liverpool England, Atlantian Oceania will take first, second and third place in this Cup, something that has never happened before. Even more specifically, the Calania landmass (colloquially known as the 'yellow' continent) will earn this acheivement should Canucks trump Terminators.

1-2-3 Part two: A Starblaydi loss will still provide the Starblaydi Football Association with a First- (WC25), Second- (WC28) and Third-Place (WC27) finish in the World Cup. With all of these coming in the space of just four Cups, Starblaydia will be well entrenched as one of the leading powers in world football.

1-2-3 Part three: Should Starblaydia lose, of course, Bedistan will have taken their third World Cup Title in a row. Championships have been successfully defended before, of course. Remember the great Rejistanian sides of World Cups 17 and 18, or the pair of Brazillico victories in WCs 5 and 6. No team has ever come close to three Championships in a row, but Bedistan have the oppurtunity to make World Cup history, probably something that will never be equalled.

How sweet it would be for Starblaydia to prove they are better than this incredibly young Bedistani team, the oldest of which is only thirty. Players between 21 and 27 litter this side, showing that they'll be back again in World Cup 29 for sure. Sweeter still, however, for Starblaydi Captain Georges Blanc. His Floral FC side were relegated from the Bedistani Súprelige this year, denied on Goal Difference by both Ari and Alexandria. It was a sad day for the formerly-great club, but Blanc is only using it as fuel for the final.

"Their 'keeper and centre-back play for Ari," he said, "so I'm determined to put one past those two, I've told Dash and Jay-Kay and the rest of the squad all I know, and we've all watched the videos of the team. There is no better, or more difficult, chance to win the Cup than right now."

Krytenia

25-05-2006, 18:01

1-2-3 Part one: If Krytenia defeat Liverpool England, Atlantian Oceania will take first, second and third place in this Cup, something that has never happened before. Even more specifically, the Calania landmass (colloquially known as the 'yellow' continent) will earn this acheivement should Aces trump Terminators.

Rami Niblick looked at the Starblaydi press release and smiled.

"You just can't get the staff these days," he chuckled, "all that research into past world cups, and he forgot to look at who Bedistan beat in their last game."

He paused.

"Hell, we should have been playing Hockey Canada!"

Starblaydia

25-05-2006, 19:45

1-2-3 Part one: If Hockey Canada defeat Liverpool England, Atlantian Oceania will take first, second and third place in this Cup, something that has never happened before. Even more specifically, the Calania landmass (colloquially known as the 'yellow' continent) will earn this acheivement should Canucks trump Terminators.

"You just can't get the staff these days," he chuckled, "all that research into past world cups, and he forgot to look at who Bedistan beat in their last game."

.:: INQUISITION INTELLIGENCE REPORT ::.

.: TARGET: D.Wheldon a.k.a. Ramses Niblick III :.

Individual appears to be suffering delusions.

Talking to self and random cursing.

Also projecting Krytenian national football team
onto other successful AO nations. Discretion
advised, possible blackmail. Dislike, possible secret
envy of Starblaydia in full effect.

.: ACTION :.

Maintain Surveillance.
Except after a curry on Thursday nights.

.:: TRANSMISSION ENDS ::.

The Archregimancy

26-05-2006, 03:38

Some 44 pages worth of posts later.....

The results of the 3rd place match and the final have now been sent to Starblaydia, Bedistan, Liverpool England and Hockey Canada.

Can Starblaydia stop the Bedistan three-peat juggernaut? Will AO take the top three places? Will the top 3 teams be precisely the same as the top 3 teams from WC 27?

Well, now you'll find out, because congratulations to........

You'll just have to wait for the RP, like everyone else ;)

Bedistan

26-05-2006, 15:57

"Bah, this is bogus."

Michelle Gant sighed as she sat in her car waiting. The combined route of X45 and X60 just west of Sonoma City was one of the most heavily traveled roads in the entire nation (and for a nation with as many roads as Bedistan has, that's quite an achievement), and seven lanes were apparently insufficient to accommodate the westbound traffic this afternoon. Michelle's car was stopped, as were other cars ahead of her as far as she could see. Her trip was going to be long enough already - she lived outside the X260 beltway, which was still 75 miles away* - so she didn't really need this traffic jam on top of that. To make matters even worse, the World Cup final between Bedistan and Starblaydia was starting in about a minute, and she obviously couldn't watch it while driving.

"Thank heaven for radio," she sighed. BGOL-FM 91.5 was one of Sonoma City's two all-sport radio stations, and it was the one lucky enough to have gotten the rights to carry the World Cup final in this massive market. Since it was unlikely that she'd make it home in time for even the end of the match, much less the beginning, Michelle would have to make do with this audio account of the game.

"There's the whistle, and Starblaydia kick off the World Cup final!"

* Remember, the Sonoma City metropolitan area has a population of almost 200 million - this is a HUGE beltway.

Starblaydia

27-05-2006, 22:14

Simeone Di Bradini could finally afford to be partisan. Standing in one of the more 'Presidential' VIP boxes at the Paladin Dome, New Montreal, the former President of the World Cup Committee and general all-round Starblaydi footballing legend stood and watched as Dasha Tolkacheva knocked the ball to Johan Keifner. The twenty-eighth World Cup Final was under way as Paul Noble took the ball wide and knocked it simply back to Ricardo Almeida.

Starblaydia, and Bedistan for that matter, were wearing black armbands to mark the death of Starblaydia's Lord-Protector, Tiberius Starblaydia. He had cast a huge shadow over the nation and even this match. Probably the most famous man in all of Atlantian Oceania, Tiberius' death touched over four and a half billion people's lives.

This, however, was behind them, as there was the small point of a World Cup Final to be won.

Bedistan

28-05-2006, 21:32

And so Michelle listened to the full radio broadcast of the match:

Commentators:
Nick Eden
Ivan McMahon

NICK: There's the whistle, and Starblaydia kick off the World Cup final!

IVAN: Of note today, all the players on both sides in this match are wearing black armbands, this in mourning of the death of Starblaydi Lord-Protector Tiberius Starblayde, assassinated on his cruise ship on the night that Starblaydia celebrated its 50th anniversary as a nation. Truly a great tragedy and a great loss not only for Starblaydia, but for the whole of Atlantian Oceania.

NICK: Indeed, but the Starblaydi fans here at the Paladin Dome seem to have momentarily put that out of their minds, as they're cheering on their white-and-purple-clad team just as much as you'd normally expect in a World Cup final.

IVAN: Starblaydia have been dominating possession here in this first minute or two of the match, Durum Rage with the ball now, under a bit of pressure from the Lions defense; that's Jerry Crowley trying to take the ball away from him, but Rage is too smart for that.

NICK: Rage with a pass up to Tolkacheva. Dash with a shot - over the bar! And that'll be a goal kick to Bedistan.

IVAN: Bedistan's starting eleven for this all-important match: Vailatai Issah in goal, born in Bedistan to Vilitan immigrants. On the back line it's Juniënta, Crowley, and Endruweit. Bedistan playing with four in the midfield here - up through WC26 the Lions played a classic 3-5-2, but have since modified that to a 3-4-1-2 - the midfield today includes Alansa, Jackson, Law, and Diamond. Leonard Hollins is the point man, and it'll be his job to get the ball up to our strikers, Monty Salas and Felicity Wilson.

NICK: For Starblaydia, it's David Bedford at goal; a four-man defense consisting of Almeida, Rakkinen, Valdez, and Kouvas; midfielders Blanc, Noble, Rage, and Chavez; and up front Johan Keifner and the already-legendary Dasha Tolkacheva.

IVAN: Who would you say are the players to watch in this match?

NICK: Bedistan, as always, wins matches with its midfield, and a testament to that is the fact that Parker Law plays his domestic ball in Milchama in an age where very few Bedistanis are playing abroad. He and Sarah Jackson have been a powerful team throughout this Cup. Right winger Tanner Diamond is also very impressive, and you can't forget about Felicity Wilson's hattrick against Fmjphoenix.

IVAN: And for Starblaydia?

NICK: Well, everyone already knows about Dash, quite likely the greatest striker in the history of Starblaydi football. Possibly an even bigger threat, though, is midfielder and captain Georges Blanc - that should be a familiar name to all of you, because he, of course, plays for Floral FC. As a result, he's seen pretty much every player on the Bedistani team in action before. None of the Bedistani players are currently in Liga Starblaydia to counter that, so this could be a big advantage for our opposition.

IVAN: Time will tell, I guess. Salas with a shot...easily captured by Bedford, that didn't have a chance.

[...time passes...]

NICK: Issah takes the goal kick, Diamond gets a read on it. He scoots past Chavez, now Blanc in the way. Diamond passes it over to Leonard Hollins, it's clean. Hollins under heavy pressure, but Diamond's broken through on the right and he passes it back over. Rakkinen steals...Wilson steals back and shoots! GOAL! It's 1-0 Lions!

IVAN: Wait a minute...no, the flag is up. That's not gonna stand, Wilson was offside.

NICK: So, Felicity Wilson's 33rd minute goal declared offside and the score remains nil-all.

[...time passes...]

IVAN: Keep it here for live coverage of Bedistani Cup Fourth Round action as Bucks Lake Athletic take on RKA Warriors. That's tonight at seven here on BGOL-FM 91.5, Sonoma City's sports source.

NICK: And we go into halftime with the score still 0-0. Ivan, your thoughts on the match so far?

IVAN: Well, it's been a very even match, which is to be expected as these are two of the best teams in the world. I was expecting to see a little more activity out of the strike forces, perhaps they'll start opening it up a bit in the second half.

NICK: All right, well, we'll go to commercial break now, but keep it locked here for continuing live coverage of the World Cup 28 final between Bedistan and Starblaydia direct from the Paladin Dome in New Montreal, only here on BGOL-FM 91.5, Sonoma City's sports source!

[...time passes...]

NICK: Oh, and Salas goes down! A rather rough tackle there from Juan Valdez.

IVAN: Yes, and it looks like he'll be getting a yellow card with his coffee. It looks like Salas is gonna have to come off the pitch - yes, he's heading off now and he'll be replaced by Saturio Polo. Polo is a starter at Lolestu CK, and he's been absolutely on fire with thirteen goals in sixteen league matches so far this season, helping Lolestu in their utter dominance of the Súprelige, currently an astounding fourteen points ahead of second-placed Santa Monica with fourteen wins, one draw, and one loss.

[...time passes...]

NICK: The fourth official's board says we'll have three minutes of added time here, but with the score still 0-0, extra time looks not only possible, but quite likely.

IVAN: Polo and Wilkinson have impressed since being substituted on for Salas and Alansa respectively, but the team just hasn't really been able to get a good attack going this half. Many blame inexperience - the team's oldest starter, Marko Endruweit, is only 27 years old. But the fact that they are in this final shows that they have what it takes.

NICK: Play once again getting bogged down in midfield, as Parker Law can't find anyone to pass to ahead of him, so he sends it back to Issah. Issah launches it up the pitch to Diamond. Diamond finds a route clear to Polo, but no, Rakkinen's there to head it out for a throw-in.

IVAN: And that'll do it for the second half, the whistle bringing an end to proceedings for the moment, as once again the World Cup final goes to extra time!

[...time passes...]

NICK: Antonis Kouvas takes the throw-in for Starblaydia, getting the ball to Valdez. He finds an opening, sends it up to Paul Noble, but Sarah Jackson's right there to take it away. She tries a side-pass out to Wilkinson on the left wing, but Javi Chavez gets to it first.

IVAN: This is the sort of play that's really characterized the second half of regulation as well as this extra time period, neither side being able to make much headway due to fantastic midfield play by both teams.

NICK: Durum Rage breaks through. He gets past Crowley, only the keeper to beat. He shoots...DENIED by the post! Juniënta picks up on it and sends it out for a throw.

IVAN: That was probably Starblaydia's best chance of the game to take the lead, but no, the score remains 0-0 with time winding down here in the second half of extra time.

[...time passes...]

NICK: The whistle blows to end extra time and we are not done yet, as this closely-fought match goes to penalties!

IVAN: Well, historically speaking, this is a good sign for us, because the Lions have a history of usually winning penalty shootouts throughout their World Cup career. However, as always, a penalty shootout can easily go either way, and here I think the relative inexperience of the Bedistani side could be a liability.

NICK: Dasha Tolkacheva will come to the spot first for Starblaydia. And the crowd roars as she puts it in without batting an eye.

IVAN: Leonard Hollins is Bedistan's first penalty taker. He steps up...curving shot, and it's in! 1-1.

[...time passes...]

IVAN: And Juniënta scores to make it 6-6, neither side giving an inch here in sudden-death penalties.

NICK: Attacking midfielder Durum Rage now up for Starblaydia. He waits for a moment...sends it right, but Issah goes left! 7-6.

IVAN: And Bedistan's seventh penalty taker will be Peter Battle, substituted on for Marko Endruweit at the end of the second half. Once again, he's got to make it to keep the Lions alive. He takes the kick...and it's SAVED! David Bedford saves Battle's penalty and the game is over! After all that, Starblaydia pull out the win, 7-6 on penalties. The Lions came so close to doing the unthinkable, winning three consecutive World Cups, only to be denied in a sudden-death penalty shootout in the final.

NICK: Stay tuned to BGOL-FM 91.5 for post-match reactions from the manager, the players, and the fans. Your final score from the Paladin Dome in New Montreal: Bedistan 0, Starblaydia 0, Starblaydia wins 7-6 on penalties.

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World Cup 28 RP Thread - Page 3