NationStates Jolt Archive

The envelope, please...and the results of the group draw are:

GROUP 1

#1 Bedistan (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10850226&postcount=60)
#36 Hypocria (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10830507&postcount=49)
#46 Rordia
#58 Anathematic Republics
#113 Nebuleux
#156 Narbithia
(unranked) Virginia Nova (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10815149&postcount=37)

GROUP 2

#2 Liverpool England (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10775568&postcount=3)
#20 Vilita
#44 Kaze Progressa
#64 Dance 2 Revolution (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10776883&postcount=12)
#87 Dorian and Sonya (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10783842&postcount=24)
#172 Rosberg
(unranked) Homieville

GROUP 3

#3 Starblaydia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10837761&postcount=52)
#27 Praying2God (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10854076&postcount=61)
#57 Harlesburg (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10847684&postcount=58)
#75 Vuam and Isma (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10861293&postcount=68)
#89 Georgeonia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10821688&postcount=43)
#148 Dauna Hills
#205 Gaspland

GROUP 4

#4 Squornshelous (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10775850&postcount=6)
#23 Bettia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10777669&postcount=16)
#37 Cuation (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10799437&postcount=29)
#78 Five Civilized Nations
#86 Mr Chuck Norris (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10781712&postcount=2)
#201 Burning Penguins (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10846006&postcount=57)
#205 Slakaj

GROUP 5

#5 Audioslavia
#35 The Islands of Qutar
#50 Legalese (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10854316&postcount=63)
#69 Qazox (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10775470&postcount=2)
#114 Anastasiania (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10857972&postcount=65)
#137 Zorinia
(unranked) The Remote Islands

GROUP 6

#7 Hockey Canada
#28 The Kazoo Peoples
#47 Yafor 2
#68 Haraki (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10777454&postcount=15)
#124 Nouvelle Angleterre
#157 Alasdair I Frosticus (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10827034&postcount=47)
(unranked) Iksonic

GROUP 7

#8 Jeruselem (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10776989&postcount=13)
#32 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10775752&postcount=5)
#45 Kericia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10801784&postcount=30)
#72 Bequerelia
#116 Boudra-Boudra (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10776592&postcount=9)
#147 Rorysville (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10842844&postcount=55)
(unranked) Philthealbino

GROUP 8

#9 Rejistania (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10815248&postcount=39)
#25 Spaam (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10828961&postcount=48)
#49 Ariddia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10776835&postcount=11)
#62 Elrich (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10885070&postcount=71)
#111 Spaamanian Piljous
#193 The Emperialist
(unranked) Raging Penguins (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10816264&postcount=41)

GROUP 9

#10 Oliverry (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10902710&postcount=73)
#22 Schiavonia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10838906&postcount=53)
#54 McPsychoville (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10836846&postcount=51)
#73 Kelse
#93 CR Oscilloscopes (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10858711&postcount=66)
#179 Vejar
(unranked) Tinsuvilia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10797268&postcount=28)

GROUP 10

#12 Total n Utter Insanity (yes, we did remember)
#30 Chicanada (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10850070&postcount=59)
#43 Nedalia
#59 Collonie
#94 Emperor Pudu
#193 Canabinol
#203 Blitzwehr

GROUP 11

#13 Sarzonia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10825401&postcount=45)
#31 Milchama (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10780936&postcount=20)
#38 Giant Zucchini (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10822632&postcount=44)
#63 Swilatia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10776818&postcount=10)
#85 Oglethorpia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10816009&postcount=40)
#137 Lisburn Mateys (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10806340&postcount=32)
(unranked) Khenas (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10779403&postcount=19)

GROUP 12

#14 Fmjphoenix (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10860375&postcount=67)
#34 Wentland (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10815155&postcount=38)
#39 Cataduanes (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10784924&postcount=25)
#79 Bazalonia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10775605&postcount=4)
#80 Magnus Valerius (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10816951&postcount=42)
#201 New-Lexington (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10785003&postcount=26)
#205 St. Happenin

GROUP 13

#15 Tadjikistan (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10776460&postcount=8)
#21 Spruitland (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10785280&postcount=27)
#51 Pastorville (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10854283&postcount=62)
#70 Apologetic Kittens (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10778250&postcount=17)
#106 Atheistic Right (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10813499&postcount=36)
#193 Radke
(unranked) Northern Caesarea (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10842308&postcount=54)

GROUP 14

#17 Casari (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10781304&postcount=21)
#26 Commerce Heights
#40 Nanakaland
#65 The Macabees (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10781756&postcount=23)
#107 Kirstiriera (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10830704&postcount=50)
#133 -Molvania (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10812753&postcount=35)
(unranked) Alberthame

GROUP 15

#18 Krytenia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10825590&postcount=46)
#24 Turori
#42 The Lowland Clans (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10776412&postcount=7)
#71 Tynelia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10777220&postcount=14)
#103 Algal States (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10856621&postcount=64)
#193 Talmeria
(unranked) Geisenfried (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10804985&postcount=31)

MATCHDAY SCHEDULES

Home sides listed first.

MD 1: 2v3, 5v4, 6v7, 1 bye
MD 2: 5v1, 3v7, 6v4, 2 bye
MD 3: 1v6, 2v5, 4v7, 3 bye
MD 4: 7v1, 2v6, 3v5, 4 bye
MD 5: 4v1, 7v2, 3v6, 5 bye
MD 6: 1v3, 4v2, 5v7, 6 bye
MD 7: 1v2, 3v4, 5v6, 7 bye

Matchdays 8-14 will the same, with the home and visitors sides reversed.

First matchday scheduled for Friday, April 28.

Links to rosters have been provided. They even work, now. You may post one at any time for a RP bonus (and to make life easier for anyone trying to write an RP about a match against you) here (”http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=477939”). Please inform NMS of any broken links via telegram or discussion thread post. OOC discussion should be kept to the discussion thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=293066). Comments/questions may be posted there, or telegrammed to myself or The Archregimancy.

Good luck to one and all, and most of all, have fun!

http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/3532/sbc34jz.gif
It looks like we are back for more. I have no Idea ho we will do here, lets just hope it goes well. Maybe we will qualify this time.

Maybe, or maybe not. I think we should take a look at the qualification group we were placed in. After all this can affect our progress.

Yes it can. so lets take a look.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/sarzonia.jpg
SARZONIA
Okay these guys probably won a world cup, probably more then one. we should watch out for them, they could ruin our qualification run if we are unprepared, which we are. so this will be a hard fight.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/jersey--67.jpg
MICHALMA
They never qualified, however the wikipedia article we are using is not up to date. we are not really sure, I don't know if we even seen this team in the world cup 27 qualifications. so we are unsure about this one.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/giant_zucchini.jpg
GIANT ZUCCHINI
Theyve been here for a long time. Much longer then the team er, the swilatian team. We have no idea how well they have done in the cups, but their experiance does make them stronger then us. Lets just hope this doesent mean another footie nightmare for us.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/swilatia.jpg
SWILATIA
Were in the middle of the group again. Even tough this does not always mean a 50/50 chance, lets hope it does. as we do want to finally qualify for a world cup. We don't want it to just simply be faliure after failure after failure after failure for us.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/oglethorpia.jpg
OGLETHORPIA
Were not sure, however we hope to do well against them. And that is possible, right?

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/jersey--67.jpg
LISBURN MATEYS
Copying flags is not a good sign. Also, they dont stand a chance against us, or really anone in this group except the one nation below them, so they should just give up.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/khenas.jpg
KHENAS
They are This group's mr. anonymous. And thats never a good thing.

The Isangrad Times
Group Draws for World Cup 28 Announced

NEW MONTREAL STATES -- Today, the group draws for World Cup 28 have been made in New Montreal States. This long-awaited day saw Magnus Valerius placed in Group 12, which has some serious competition for the Boyars, who are somewhat experienced after a run in World Cup 27 and the following Cup of Harmony.

"We have a better chance at perhaps qualifying," smiled Ilya Pavlov, coach for the Boyars and main organizer of the team and its strategy. "With the experience from the previous World Cup and Cup of Harmony, our team is ranked #80. While we have little chance of qualifying, we can at least improve our game and rise up. Eventually, a cup will be ours."

Magnus Valerius, from out of nowhere, now rests at the 80th spot amongst the world. Not bad for a team that has returned after a long hiatus onto the world scene. The Boyar's roster remain the same as it was for the Cup of Harmony, where Pavlov improved his tactics and changed starters. George Illyanich, "The Tower of Power", the star of the team, is expected to do well, as always. People in Magnus Valerius are optimistic about the national team, as well as many corporate sponsors.

Here is the draw for Group 12, where Magnus Valerius will face off against six other world teams. The serious competition comes from Fmjpheonix (#14), Wentland (#34) and Cataduanes (#39). The rest are pretty much game for Magnus Valerius, and might end up being easy victories for the Boyars.


GROUP 12

#14 Fmjpheonix
#34 Wentland
#39 Cataduanes
#79 Bazalonia
#80 Magnus Valerius
#201 New-Lexington
#205 St. Happenin

Here is the tentative schedule for the games, with the designated home game venues listed.

MD 1: Magnus Valerius v. Bazalonia @ Tsar's Arena, ISANGRAD
MD 2: Magnus Valerius v. Fmjpheonix @ Kydonian Green, KYDONIA
MD 3: Wentland v. Magnus Valerius
MD 4: Cataduanes v. Magnus Valerius
MD 5: Bye
MD 6: Magnus Valerius v. St. Happenin @ Blancmonte Stadium, BLANCMONTE
MD 7: Magnus Valerius v. New-Lexington @ Sankt Valerian Colosseum, SANKT VALERIAN
MD 8: Bazalonia v. Magnus Valerius
MD 9: Fmjpheonix v. Magnus Valerius
MD 10: Magnus Valerius v. Wentland @ Tsar's Arena, ISANGRAD
MD 11: Magnus Valerius v. Cataduanes @ Tsar's Arena, ISANGRAD
MD 12: Bye
MD 13: St. Happenin v. Magnus Valerius
MD 14: New-Lexington v. Magnus Valerius

# 201
New-Lexington enteres its first world cup ranked 201st in the world, after a kicking in the BoF. The New-Lexington squad won only one game (1-0 over Burning Penguins) and received a 6-0 beating from Boudra-Boudra. The Kings will face off against Magnius Valerius (ranked 80th) in the first round. Go KINGS!--New-Lexington United Press

Keltic Picayune-Newspaper-Chronicle-Times-Journal-Sun-Mail-Globe
OOC: Thank You Oli for the new name

Sports Section

Milchama favored for the World Cup

In a change from all previous World Cups, Milchama is actually favored to qualify for a change in this World Cup as the second seed in a group. Unfortunately, we have the 2nd highest ranked third seeded team with the 38th ranked Giant Zucchini running down our necks to try for qualification. Also we don't have the benefit of a playoff to get qualification as it only comes down to group play. Coach Jamie Smith said, "We have had better group before but we have definitely have had worse. I think we are in a good position to qualify all we need to do is do the expected and maybe get an upset or two to qualify. The key is to beat Giant Zucchini and it will all be ok from there."

Now to the infamous Milchamian predictions:
Group 11:

#13 Sarzonia- Ah one of the most tempremental teams in all of the World Cup are our higher seeded team. They also had a dissapointing World Cup and dropped out of the first time since we can remember. They are determined to prove it was a fluke and will probably rock the group.
#31 Milchama- Wait we're top 32 and we qualified for a World Cup *faints*
#38 Giant Zucchini-Our first and most important opponents. They made the world cup in the 26th edition but failed spectacularly last time around. Their near last place finish screwed them over but a decent Cup of Harmony was enough for them to stay in the top 40. Hopefully they can continue their reeling at least against us.
#63 Swilatia- They have been around for a few World Cups and are starting to come into their own. They also seem to hate us or not care enough to follow any results outside of their own as they denied our qualification to the World Cup and used our wrong flag. We will crush them like bugs.
#85 Oglethorpia- We lost to the Ostriches a long time before they got stoned and missed World Cup 27. They now suck with their old players and our young'uns can beat them now. It will be close though because they are Oglethorpia.
#137 Lisburn Mateys- A new team who did pretty well in the BoF if I remember correctly. They still have a lot of learning to do though and we will hopefully help that learning process with a couple of victories.
(unranked) Khenas- We win, I don't know who they are or what they do.

And in a new feature that will run in all Milchamian papers is the Raging Penguins report on their football team. It's a team full of lunatics and crazies and a team that we find interest, so we will be sure to talk about all of their exploits.

(The following newspaper report was apparently illegally smuggled out of the Holy Empire)

THE HOLY EMPIRE HERALD

SILENCE GREETS WORLD CUP DRAW
Ordinary Reality Unsure of Imperial Reaction

By Constantine Ducaso
Archregimancy Correspondent

The Holy Empire Football Association reacted with their by now expected total silence upon the release of the World Cup draw by the Archregimancy and New Montreal States. Officials contacted by this reporter refused to even make a comment of "no comment". Ordinary Physical Reality remains in the dark as to what to expect from the team - and this may well be intentional.

The aura of mystery and secrecy that has surrounded the nation since World Cup 7 - with the exception of the surprise comeback for World Cup 25 - makes it difficult to decide whether to place any credence in the rumours that continue to surround the squad, though this reporter can confirm that all home matches will take place in the Archregimancy, and that the entire team will consist of Dream Simulacra (TM) of national team legend Juan Tzimisces.

In the absence of any official reaction, I have taken it upon myself to quickly run through the group for the benefit of any readers who may have a passing interest in the tournament that our nation once hosted all the way back in the heady days of World Cup 2.

GROUP 6
#7 Hockey Canada: The group's top seeds, and surely the overwhelming favourites to get one of the automatic qualifying spots.

#28 The Kazoo Peoples: One of the 'new' teams to benefit from the chaos of World Cup 26, but vulnerable to an upset from...

#47 Yafor 2: The Golden Wolves, whose recent form has suggested that they might well be ready to take the next step. Their matches against the Kazoos will be crucial.

#68 Haraki: Another batch of recently-returned old-timers who are moving back up the ranks faster than we are since they actually participate consistently. Will do well to break in to the top 3, but could spring a surprise.
(Patriotism demands I point out that Haraki are not as old as the Holy Empire, who are one of only two still-active - if only intermittently - teams from WC 1)

#124 Nouvelle Angleterre: A team about whom know, to use the vernacular, 'bugger all'.

#157 Alasdair I Frosticus: Our ranking hardly reflects our team's proud history or importance in the early years of the tournament's development. Which is probably just as well. Don't want history to go to our heads.

(unranked) Iksonic: Que?

And this reporter's predicted qualification order is....

Hockey Canada
Yafor 2
The Kazoo Peoples
Haraki
Alasdair I Frosticus
Nouvelle Angleterre
Iksonic

The Bloco'yce Interrogator
Bringing you all the news you'll never need, heed, nor read!


Our national Football Team, The Team, found itself in a bad place the moment they found out who their eventual opponents would be.

"We're in the same group as Rejistania?" Furious Porridge, The Team's star forward, could be heard to say, "We haven't got a chance! We've actually heard of Rejistania, and we haven't heard of anybody!"

The Team's keeper, Willie Dee, was overheard as he argued with his Extremely Dangerous Hair over which was worse: that they would be playing against both Spaam and Spaamanian Piljous, or the fact that they would be playing Spaam at all.
Midfielder Mrs. Tweezly, who is usually a reliable source of information and pre-game predictions, was unavailable for comment, being occupied with lecturing fellow midfielder Devious Penguin after the new player was found packing balls with plastic explosive. As Mrs. Tweezly told the sulky bird: "This is not just another Lancre Cup, young man. There will be absolutely no scheming, no cheating, no abducting, and certainly no murdering of the other teams! Do you understand?".

However, The Team's captain, The Penguin, maintained a positive attitude during a recent interview, saying that "All these football players need in order to make them scatter is a good pounding by a heavy artillery division! We'll have no problems getting that!"
He went on to deny rumors that he forced The Team to chip their money in to a "Bribe several of Milchama's long-named newspapers" fund, and any extra coverage provided by foreign newspapers was entirely unrelated to the teams sudden bankruptcy.

Our own opinion? The Team will lose everything, as usual. If we're lucky, some of them will die as well.

Haraki Placed In Group Six
From the Atherlon Times Sports Section

Tom Bucket, Atherlon. Haraki has been drawn into Group Six for World Cup XXVIII, along with Hockey Canada, The Kazoo Peoples, Yafor 2, Nouvelle Angleterre, Alasdair I Frosticus and Iksonic.

Hockey Canada, ranked 7th in the world, are a shoo-in for the first slot. The second one will be fought for tooth and nail by several other teams. The Kazoo Peoples, ranked 28th in the world, have been doing quite well recently but are still vulnerable to an upset. Yafor 2, ranked 47th, will play some critical matches against the Kazoos and our own Hawks.

Then comes Haraki, ranked 68th in the world. With good enough play against our two higher-ranked sides and wins against those below us, we could well take the second slot.

In fifth place in the group is Nouvelle Angleterre, ranked 124th in the world. There is a large gap between Haraki and the following teams here, one of 56 rankings. #157 Alasdair I Frosticus bring up the second last spot, and Iksonic bring up the rear.

Haraki has a chance. An outside chance, but still one. We finished only a few crucial points behind the playoff qualifier in World Cup XXVII, and with a better side this year we could pull off a series of upsets and snag the second qualifying spot. Looking to win points against the teams lower than us and steal them from those higher, the Hawks just might be able to pull it off.

As always, Haraki's home stadium will be Champion Field, in the capitol city of Atherlon.

Matchday schedule:
1: Haraki at Nouvelle Angleterre
2: Haraki at Alasdair I Frosticus
3: Haraki vs. Iksonic
4: Bye
5: Haraki vs. Hockey Canada
6: Haraki vs. The Kazoo Peoples
7: Haraki at Yafor 2
8: Haraki vs. Nouvelle Angleterre
9: Haraki vs. Alasdair I Frosticus
10: Haraki at Iksonic
11: Bye
12: Haraki at Hockey Canada
13: Haraki at The Kazoo Peoples
14: Haraki vs. Yafor 2

Tom Bucket is the Atherlon Times' football correspondent.

(Patriotism demands I point out that Haraki are not as old as the Holy Empire, who are one of only two still-active - if only intermittently - teams from WC 1)

OOC: Three actually: Ariddia, Giant Zucchini, and you.

QAZOX CITY HERALD

The Group Draw for World Cup 28 have been announced and Qazox has once again drawn a tough group.

The Draw is as Follows:
GROUP 5

Audioslavia- Fifth Ranked Team in the World and one of the world powers in football.

The Islands of Qutar- Ranked 35th in the world, and Former BoF champions.

Legalese- Hosts of our BoF, currently ranked 50th, been slipping a bit of late , but still a strong squad.

Qazox Ranked 69th in the World and will challenge for a Qualifiaction spot.

Anastasiania-114th in the world, Strong Showing at the BoF could be the hottest team going into qualifing.

Zorinia-137th in the world, may upset some squads, but not much chance of advancing.

The Remote Islands-unranked, very remote chance to qualify.

QUALIFING SCHEDULE
All home Qualifing matches will take place in Estadia Pika in Pika City. Capacity of 75,962.

Matchday 1 @ Anastasiana
Matchday 2 @ Zorinia
Matchday 3 vs. The Remote Islands
Matchday 4 BYE
Matchday 5 vs. Audioslavia
Matchday 6 vs. The Islands of Qutar
Matchday 7 @ Legalese
Matchday 8 vs. Anastasiana
Matchday 9 vs. Zorinia
Matchday 10 @ The Remote Islands
Matchday 11 BYE
Matchday 12 @ Audioslavia
Matchday 13 @ The Islands of Qutar
Matchday 14 vs. Legalese

Our predictions for Group Finish:
1st- Audioslavia
2nd- The Islands of Qutar
3rd- Qazox
4th- Legalese
5th- Anastasiana
6th- Zorinia
7th- The Remote Islands

OOC- Sorry, Qazox. Anastasiania wasn't in the DI :p

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg

Sea Dragons Ready To Roar

This is Kellan Kildan Live from the FNN studios.

The WC28 draw has just been announced by New Montreal States and The Archregimancy. And there is a lot of good news for all you Sea Dragon Fans out there. Not only did the unexpected qualification for WC27 improve the ASMV ranking to #32 in the world, but it also gave us a second seed in Group 7, and the expectation to qualify once again.

Now let’s talk about Group 7 a bit and see what things actually look like.

At the top of the group is #8 Jeruselem. I believe it was in WC25 qualifiers that we faced these guys in our very first WC campaign. And it wasn’t pretty either. They taught us a lot about how to handle defeat. I see no reason that they will not repeat those lessons for us this time around.

#32 ASMV I still can’t believe we have moved up this high in the rankings. Now comes the hard part of proving we deserve it. Instead of painting bullseyes on other squads, we will be the ones wearing the target. But we do return with a veteran squad and a deep desire to prove that WC27 was no fluke.

#45 Kericia They will most likely be the squad breathing down our necks. That makes MD1 very important as they are the opponents we will open with. If we are not careful, we could find ourselves in a very early hole.

#72 Bequerelia Classic Overachievers. They gave us all we could handle during WC27 qualifiers. Despite the ranking, they will make a push for a qualification spot. As to their being able to move up from their 4th seed in the group, that remains to be seen.

#116 Boudra-Boudra These guys don’t quit. They tried to get into WC27 and then backed out in favor of the BoF. They are very active in their reports and will bear watching. Active squads usually play over their head and make a litlle noise in the standings.

#147 Rorysville We don’t know much about these guys. But history has showed us that we can lose to squads in their ranking range. Hopefully those days are pretty much behind us now.

UR PhiltheAlbino They will be looking up at a tough group for them to do anything in. But it wouldn’t be unheard of if they pulled some shockers. Let’s hope it isn’t us in the electric chair at the time.

All in all, we have to feel pretty good about our chances for WC28. But that does not mean that we will take anything for granted. We have to come out and take care of our business. If we do that, everything else will fall into place.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

Group draws announced
Picking our own group result? Ha! Nice Try.

Why even play? We're not picking a winner. We're not picking finalists.

We're going to pick the whole damn thing.

And we know, "Why should we trust you, you're a n00b!"

Well... We did a decent job picking winners before. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10203012&postcount=27)

So the only real question is... where do we start? Why, the happy end, of course.

World Cup 28 Champions: Audioslavia (Group 5)
Ok, ok. Before you brake and start a 40 car pileup on the freeway, we have 3 arguments in their favor.
1: They're due. I mean, we clearly hear about other gits win it constantly.
2: They're positioned perfectly to make a run.
3: What reason do we really need to have? I mean, noone's played a game yet, this is all pointless bickering.

World Cup 28 Runners-up: Liverpool England (Group 2)
We looked at the list, and the one team that screamed out at us over and over again was these fellows. Quality performances aside, they're still going to fall one short.

Wait wait, I know what you're thinking right now: Where's Bedistan? They're not going to make the final? No, they're not. They're falling short this year.

World Cup 28 Third Place Team: Starblaydia (Group 3)
We just can't get rid of them. They're going to get close again, but not too close.

World Cup 28 Fourth Place Team: Rejistania (Group 8)
They're baaaack. I know, we're clearly stabbing the whole "KARELLLA BAAAADDDD" movement in the back here, but... They're not playing Karela anymore. And that -1 is going to lead them deep into this competition.

The Losing Quarterfinalists
Well, we picked the top four, didn't we? Four have to lose to them in the quarterfinals.
Bedistan (Group 1) - The former champs are going to find a comfy resting place here.
Hockey Canada (Group 6) - As much as it does pain us to say it, Hockey Canada will go this far again.
New Montreal States (Host) - A decent showing from the hosts this time around will take them deep and give the home fans a bit of a show.
Krytenia (Group 15) - A noble showing from the Kryties will hopefully give them a bit of a boost back to where they were a few cups ago.

Those Who Fall in the Second Round
We know this place.
Casari (Group 14) - We'll know it again.
Squornshelous (Group 4) - A lot of underperforming will end in a Second Round exit for the world #4.
Spruitland (Group 13) - It's nice to see these guys put down the bong, actually.
Vilita (Group 2) - Not the best year for Vilita, where they're going to lack a breakout game to really set the pace for this World Cup.
Bettia (Group 4) - Maybe a lot of underperforming this cup, here's a bit of overperforming for you.
Total n Utter Insanity (Group 10) - They remembered, all right.
Sarzonia (Group 11) - If the last World Cup showed nothing else, it showed the cracks in Sarzonia's armor.
The Kazoo Peoples (Group 6) - Um... we're drunk.

The Rest Who Qualify
Rordia (Group 1) - It's not that great of a long shot as it seems, with Hypocria within striking distance from below.
Praying2God (Group 3) - Clearly the 2nd best in their group, a no-contest for the spot.
Legalese (Group 5) - Exploiting the short Qualifying season, Legalese will be able to nip Qutar for the spot.
Jeruselem (Group 7) - We love these guys. They know we do. But... honestly, we can't pick them to go any farther than this. Sorry, boys.
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (Group 7) - Ditto with ASMV. They hold a mean tourney, but that doesn't mean they're playing much farther in this one.
Spaam (Group 8) - Mmmm, Spam. Not overperforming, not underperforming, just some solid performing.
Oliverry (Group 9) - Here's where we get to see someone underperform! By all means they should go farther, and against any other field they would... but just, not this one.
Schiavonia (Group 9) - Another team who will do just as expected.
Nedalia (Group 10) - Their presence isn't so much a shock as Chicanada dropping the spot that was gifted to them will be.
Milchama (Group 11) - Our qualification upset special. They'll take Group 11, but then perform to expectation in the Group stage.
Wentland (Group 12) - We just sold you a pretty big one. Here's one even bigger. Milchama topping group 11, Wentland topping 12.
Fmjphoenix (Group 12) - Not topping the group's going to break their spirit, and they'll fall here as well.
Tadjikistan (Group 13) - They deserved to do better, but other teams being lucky will just be their downfall.
Commerce Heights (Group 14) - Shouldn't they be higher? You'd think so, but neither their Rank or their Performance is going to show it.
The Lowland Clans (Group 15) - Turori's just been too wishy-washy to give them the spot.
The Archregimancy (Host) - We love the monks, we always have. Even though they do have the tendancy to call us schismatic and whatnot. We'd love to see them do well, but well... they're overmatched.

Wow. We can't really believe we wrote all that. But a good side product is we did predict winners in every group.

Winner Second
Group 1 Bedistan Rordia
Group 2 Liverpool England Vilita
Group 3 Starblaydia Praying2God
Group 4 Bettia Squornshelous
Group 5 Audioslavia Legalese
Group 6 Hockey Canada The Kazoo Peoples
Group 7 Jeruselem Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Group 8 Rejistania Spaam
Group 9 Oliverry Schiavonia
Group 10 Total n Utter Insanity Nedalia
Group 11 Milchama Sarzonia
Group 12 Wentland Fmjphoenix
Group 13 Spruitland Tadjikistan
Group 14 Casari Commerce Heights
Group 15 Krytenia The Lowland Clans

Well, that's all the crap we have to say on the subject. We're sure picking Audioslavia will probably bite us on the ass later... but what can we say, we're pulling for the boys. And hopefully, some other Git won't win it this year, eh?

All opinions in this report are those of our drunken editors, who wouldn't know a soccer match if they tripped over it while completely sober, which wouldn't happen anyway.

Spaam Sports Weekly
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Group Of Death

Well, not really. For once, Spaam has been drawn into a group that will
produce some fantastic football, and has every chance of seeing the Waffles
qualify again. If anything, Group 8 could be called the Group of Veterans,
with Ariddia and Rejistania joining Spaam in the battle for qualification. Even
more interesting is the fact that the United Territories of Spaam will have two
representatives in Group 8, with Spaamanian Plijous being drawn. This is
nothing but a boon for Spaamanian football fans, effectively doubling the
number of home games. Lets take a look at Group 8 in more detail:

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/rejistania.jpg
Rejistania
KPB Rank: 9
Best Result: Champions (12, 17, 18, 23)

Spaam and Rejistania will be the teams to beat as they battle it out for
qualification. With both teams priding themselves on their defense, there
should be some good tight football between the two teams, though everyone
must favour the four-time World Champions. A shoo-in for qualification and
the top of the table.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/spaam.jpg
Spaam
KPB Rank: 25
Best Result: Runner-up (7, 13)

The Waffles are on the way up, the best they have been in over 50 years.
After managing to scrape into the final 16 last cup, you would have to expect
Spaam to qualify again, though they will be wary of Ariddia.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/ariddia.jpg
Ariddia
KPB Rank: 49
Best Result: 3rd place (10)

The founder of the World Cup is never a team to be coughed at. Unless you
have the flu, in which case you can't really help it. They will be pretty much
the only team that can prevent Spaam from qualifying, and the matches
between these two team should be interesting. Look for them finishing in
third, but don't be suprised if they qualify.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/elrich.jpg
Elrich
KPB Rank: 62

This is the fourth attempt at qualifying for the Kingdom of Elrich, and will
almost certainly see them finish no higher than third. The Waffles will be
disappointed to lose to them, but they do have a chance.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/spaamanian_plijous.jpg
Spaamanian Plijous
KPB Rank: 111

While there is some debate among the USFA about forfeiting their games
against Spaam, the fans will have a second team to cheer on in this group.
The Gulls won't make an impact though, and will be fighting to stay out of
wooden spoon contention.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/the_emperialist.jpg
The Emperialist
KPB Rank: 193

A new nation straight from the Baptism of Fire, they will hopefully supply
some entertaining football, but will really be nothing more than fodder for the
veterans. Will prolly escape wooden spoon ignomity.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/raging_penguins.jpg
Raging Penguins

PENGUINS!

Sorry. The wildcard of the group, they will be fighting against the Gulls for
the wooden spoon. At least they will give the other teams experience with
playing football against penguins.

The Draw


1 Spaam ?:? Ariddia
2 BYE
3 Spaam ?:? Spaamanian Plijous
4 Spaam ?:? The Emperialist
5 Raging Penguins ?:? Spaam
6 Elrich ?:? Spaam
7 Rejistania ?:? Spaam
8 Ariddia ?:? Spaam
9 BYE
10 Spaamanian Plijous ?:? Spaam
11 The Emperialist ?:? Spaam
12 Spaam ?:? Raging Penguins
13 Spaam ?:? Elrich
14 Spaam ?:? Rejistania

Fmjpheonix - Ranked 14th in the word these are the groups highest seeds these guys should not have any trouble qualifying for the world cup though their 1st position in the group may be overcome by 2nd seed Wentland

Wentland - A team that has rocketed up the rankings since their first appearance just 2 full cups ago with both of those cups they had qualified for the World Cup proper. They might just steal first place from Fmjpheonix

Cataduanes - Probably a team that will just miss out on qualifying by the skin of their teeth. But will still perform very well.

Magnus Valerius - Only one rank below us. This will be the main opponent that the Bazalopes will have to worry about if the team will end up as high as they can in the group.

New-Lexington - Well, I have to admit, No ones been following this BoF, so all we know is that these guys is that they entered it. They shouldn't get anywhere near qualifying for the proper world cup so. Thanks for coming.

St. Happenin - Another team that was in the BoF, though I think we know even less about them than New-Lexington... Expect the only points this team gets would be potentially against New-Lexington.

Now onto the schedule for the Bazalopes..

MD 1 - Away @ Magnus Valerius - Could be anything but whatever it is. It'll be close.
MD 2 -Away @ New-Lexington - Should be an easy win against this team
MD 3 - Home vs. St. Happenin - Shouldn't either bother the Bazalopes with the home ground advantage
MD 4 - Bye.
MD 5 - Home vs. Fmjpheonix - Expect a loss and a reasonably big one
MD 6 - Home vs. Wentland - Another loss but less than Fmjpheonix
MD 7 - Away @ Cataduanes - Maybe a draw but most likely a loss.
MD 8 - Home vs. Magnus Valerius - We think we may win this won but could just as well be a draw but also could be a narrow loss.
MD 9 - Home vs. New-Lexington - They've got no chance
MD 10 - Away @ St. Happenin - No chance either
MD 11 - Bye
MD 12 - Away @ Fmjpheonix - We've got no chance
MD 13 - Away @ Wentland - Same as last matchday
MD 14 - Home vs. Cataduanes - This match could go either way... We'l l saw a draw

Lioness had taken over the reigns of the Atheistic Right Football Association after Lion the previous head of ARFA had died in a bus accident in ASMV at the end of the Draggonnii Invitational. The new coach for the Athesitic Right Archeopteri Bear wishes Lion was back. Lion would just kill you, quick clean and simple, where Lioness will make you suffer and then she might kill you or she might not. At least with Lion you'd know what to expect, you don't know with Lioness.

Lioness has made the following statement


The events such as the tragic bombing in Carrington and the bus crash killing the whole team and a number of support staff will not stop our participating in the world of international football. The terrorist actions of the Collonians that are obviously responsible for both atrocities will not stop us from going about our daily business. This is just one of the reasons why we cannot let the Collonians win in their unprovoked attack of our nation and we call once again for international support in going to war against these maniacs.

Mystical Unicorns Return With Experience
But is it enough???

Queen Sonya Sabre sat alone in her office. The group draws had just been announced - and at first it did not look good for the Mystical Unicorn’s second venture into the realm of WC football. And then came the look at the other groupings, and the Queen’s mood changed dramatically. Group 2 wasn’t that bad after all.

In WC27 the Mystical Unicorns had come in ranked a lowly 211th and pulled some shockers, and even managed to stay in the qualifying hunt until the final 3 match days. What would WC28 hold for a squad that returned every single player for a second time around? Let us look at Group2 in depth and find out.

#2 Liverpool England. What can we say about these guys? Look at the ranking and you will see everything you need to know. In all honesty, we are probably a good 3 WC’s away from even being competitive against them.

#20 Vilita On paper this shouldn’t even be a match. And that is just what everyone said in WC27 qualifiers before we handed them their first loss of the campaign. Now we are back to try to do that miraculous feat once again. Who knows, perhaps we will be a thorn in their sides for a long time to come.

#44 Kaze Progressa This team has slowly slid from the better rankings as of late. We haven’t played these guys either, but we do hope that they continue their skid - at least against us.

#62 Dance 2 Revolution Another team trying to retake its former glory. The matches against them will be key if we want to accomplish anything here.

#87 Dorian and Sonya Hey! That’s us! What a difference four years makes. From the lowly depths of a 211 ranking to the mid-pack, lose to lower and higher sides, ranking of 87. No man’s land is what that ranking really means. No safe matches whatsoever. But we are determined to fight through the adversity and come out all shiny in the end.

#172 Rosberg You can bet these guys feel a bit overwhelmed when they look at the group. And they should. But they can also be the squad that ruins all our efforts for us if we are not careful with them.

Unranked Homieville We would say that they have no chance here, but we know better. Anyone remember how well D&S, Georgeonia, Mr Chuck Norris, Emperor Pudu ( and the list goes on) performed from much the same place in WC27 qualifiers?

This is a very tough group for us to move on through, as only the top two sides get in. We are probably looking at a return to the CoH and hope for better results there.

Predictions:
1 Liverpool England
2 Kaze Progressa
3 Vilita
4 Dorian and Sonya
5 Dance 2 Revolution
6 Homieville
7 Rosberg

Now matter how it ends up, good luck to everyone here. Let’s have some fun!

"I don't know if it's a good group for us, but it's certainly an interesting one," Ariddian coach Adam Seul said after the draw which placed the PDSRA in Group 8.

It's one the Spaamanians are already calling the "Group of Veterans", and Ariddia's two most dangerous opponents, on paper, are former Champions Rejistania, and an equally experienced Spaam. Previous encounters with both sides, however, go back several decades. The Rejistanians, naturally, will be playing defensively against the Ariddians' all out attack.

"We're not really sure whether or not that's a good thing," Frédéric Clément admitted. "Probably not. They're used to facing our style of play, and they're damn good. We'll have to adapt fairly quickly."

Nor are the Rouge-et-Noirs themselves lacking experience any more. Despite a record filled with more defeats than victories, the so-called "new" team has scored 109 goals in 74 games, enough to give any opponent pause. They have also, however, conceded a whopping 148, an average of exactly two goals per game - and an encouraging statistic for opponents.

Ariddia's adversaries will also have to watch out for the team's new star player, Hanifah Kyaw, now 20 years of age and presumably with a long career still ahead of her. She has finally been added to the starting eleven, bringing with her a record of 19 goals scored in just 18 games.

The team's captain, 36 year-old Ue Alt, has hinted that he may well retire after this Cup. It is unclear as yet who would replace him, since backup captain Sandrine Leduc is also 36 and may likewise retire. Were she to stay, she would become the team's first female captain ever, after four male predecessors.

"You'll know my decision when I've made it," Alt told journalists. "In the meantime, I'll be doing all I can to help ensure that we qualify. It's been our aim for over twelve years now, and it would be great if we could pull it off at last."

Pschychoes In Group 4

Doubters Emerging Already
The World Cup 28 (or XXVIII if you prefer) is barely complete, and already, sports pundits have predicted an untimely exit from this world cup for Squornshelous. The analysis team from Casari4Sport foretells that the Pschychoes will fall in the second round. While the Red and Black Attack has been known to falter in the first and second rounds from time to time, we certainly do not believe that will be the case this time around. The bane of the Pschychoes in those unhappy matches has always been weakness in midfield, and with an amazing glut of talented midfielders on the team, by the time we arrive in the second round, manager Seamus McCormack will surely have found a combination of players that is effective.

What is even more surprising about the Casari4Sport prediction is that they have picked Audioslavia to win the tournament. Now, it is a well known fact that the 'Slaves are among a select group of nations that are cursed by the football gods, and will never win a world cup. We find it much more likely that an old champion, like Bedistan or Rejistania, or a newer team, without the storied history of not winning that some teams have piled up, perhaps Jeruselem or Hocky Canada.

No matter who eventually wins the Cup, Qualifying Group 4 looks like this:

#4 Squornshelous
#23 Bettia
#37 Cuation
#78 Five Civilized Nations
#86 Mr Chuck Norris
#201 Burning Penguins
#205 Slakaj

It's easy to pick Squornshelous as a runaway winner for this group, as they outrank their closest competitor by 19 ranks and 19.42 KPB points, and it is surprising that no one has yet. Anyhow, the top three in this group seem pretty easy, and we don't see any major surprises happening here. Cuation may upstage Bettia for the second qualifying spot, but it's not very likely. Bettia and Squornshelous should advance with ease.

GRAHAM CITY SUN - Sports Sectionp
Draw Complete, Stars Draw Familiar Faces
ARCHREGIMANCY - With the qualification draw complete, smiles are appearing everywhere across the faces of football fans in the Allied States. First off, the Stars have a relatively easy group, filled with familiar faces from previous qualifications and over the history of the World Cup. Secondly, the Stars have been riding a serious wave. With the upgrade of the team with experienced talent from the B-Stars, who finished in the quarterfinals at AOCAF, the Stars are some of the most hyped team to come out of the Allied States in a long time

Managed at the helm by the experienced Westley Stjepan, veteran of six campaigns as a manager and player, and with some great experience up in the attacking front. With stars Jonathan Kavanagh and Ryley Bloudin really coming of age, the attack looks to be as dangerous as ever. The midfield looks strong with a good mix of age, youth, size and skill as they will be relied on to dominate the ball. The defence, which has always been a weak point for the Stars, will be reinforced by the promotion of both Kellen Markoff from the B-Stars and the addition of Enrique Quisipani from Fort Manchester, with both having excellent pedigrees.

GROUP PREDICTION
Krytenia (15) - Best team in the group period. That may trip them up though, with both Turori and the Stars gunning for their spot, and they must be careful not to give away any games.
Key to Succeed: Keep their heads in the game, and don't slack off.
Reason for Failure: Not much of one

Turori (24) - This team just two cups ago was rated 8th in the world. That's a fall that's almost as bad as ours when we missed a whole cup. They finished last in their group in World Cup 26, but rebounded to qualify in World Cup 27, in our own group.
Key to Succeed: They need to watch for the lower ranked teams to bite their heads off
Reason for Failure: This downfall looks like it's going to continue after last years pause

The Lowland Clans (42) - Well we said everything we needed to in the article above this preview.
Key to Succeed: To perform consistently against all the teams.
Reason for Failure: Inability win key games in the crunch

Tynelia (72) - These guys represent a serious up and coming power in the football world. In a couple of cups, these guys should be up challenging teams in the top ten and sit comfortably in the top twenty.
Key to Succeed: Continue their improvement and good play against top teams
Reason for Failure: They just aren't good enough yet

Algal States (103) - Not much about this team, but along with Talmeria and Geisenfried, they should round out the bottom of this group.

Talmeria (193)
Geisenfried (Unranked)

Starblaydia To Open Against Georgeonia
Not much of a headline, is it? Group 3 ain't full of interest

Starblaydia's latest drive to re-claim the world crown technically behings with a rest day while they get to watch the most exciting game of Mathcday One: Praying2God versus Harlesburg.

Yes, you heard me right. Praying2God and Harlesburg are Starblaydia's two closest 'rivals' for Group Three. This creates a number of not-so-interesting situations for Azaunlbizarn's team. Theoretically Starblaydia should crush all of their group opponents and barely concede a single goal. Twelve games, twelve wins and something less than six goals against will be the expectation for the team, never mind the hope.

Starblaydia can only stuff it up from here, really. But even assuming that our nation's expectations come to fruition, then what? Facing what cannot be described as 'the cream of the world's footballing talent' for twelve matches is surely no preparation for the final thirty-two of the World Cup.

As such, the Starblaydi Football Association are seeking two friendly match opponents for Matchdays One and Eight and will accept offers of an Exhibition match from any of the fourteen other top-seeds in their Group, Home or Away.

Starblaydia World Cup 28 Qualifying Fixtures
MD1 New Montreal States vs Starblaydia (The Archregimancy)
MD2 Georgeonia vs Starblaydia
MD3 Starblaydia vs Dauna Hills (Nemyan National Stadium, Hecia, 86,000)
MD4 Gaspland vs Starblaydia
MD5 Vuam and Isma vs Starblaydia
MD6 Starblaydia vs Harlesburg (Tabeck Arena, Tabeck, 33,000)
MD7 Starblaydia vs Praying2God (Jader Barbahlo Stadium, Jhanna, 96,000)
MD8 Starblaydia vs New Montreal States (Foundation Road, Jhanna, 75,000)
MD9 Starblaydia vs Georgeonia (Silverlands, Corinth, 55,000)
MD10 Dauna Hills vs Starblaydia
MD11 Starblaydia vs Gaspland (Victory Park, Vecchio, 34,000)
MD12 Starblaydia vs Vuam and Isma (Iota "Big Eye" Arena, Penningworth, 85,000)
MD13 Harlesburg vs Starblaydia
MD14 Praying2God vs Starblaydia

PALADINS TO CHALLENGE STARBLAYDIA TO FRIENDLY

"Hey, we have to do something to get us warmed up for the group stage," - Branstone

NEW MONTREAL - The Ministry of Morale has announced that the Paladins will challenge Starblaydia to a friendly match (or possibly two, if they feel like it) that will be held in the Archregimancy.

"Basically, we need to get some high-level international experience for our newcomers," said coach William Branstone. "Not telling you who those are yet, but we'll have some, and we'd like a shot at the people who knocked us out of the Cup last time." The Paladins fell to Starblaydia in the quarterfinals of WC27 in a match that was pretty much the Menecrates show.

"With him retired, we might have a chance now," said Minister of Morale Alec Kirkpatrick. "Dammit, was this mic open?"

The Ministry now awaits a reply from the SFA. Starblaydia's bye days are the first and eighth of qualifiers.

khenas royal newswire
Your #1 source for khenas news
NEW MONTREAL STATES - The group draws have been made for the khenas mermaids' first world cup, world cup #28. Since we are new to the world cup, we do not know much about the teams we are with, and our chances of qualifying are slim-to-none. However we will do as well as we can, and do better in the next cup.

Our first match will be against lisburn mateys, which should be relatively easy. only time can tell how well it wil go, however we hope our capaign does not start off with a loss for the mermaids.

Jeruselem Government News

Crusaders get drawn into group with confusing names ....

World Cup XXVIII - another attempt to make the finals in the World Cup. We were seeded 14, but now? TOP 10 BABY. Ok, we are #8. It's heady and the new team must meet expectations of the last two great teams who pushed Jeruselem from top 50 into top 10.

Our Group is Group 7 with some very unfamilar faces! We mean that, we haven't played them before or we've just forgotten we did some time ago.

#8 Jeruselem

That's us .... people expect us to win. If we don't, it's a failure. #8 seed is not a rank to hold forever.

#32 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

The mighty sea dragons who have done well in World Cup 27. We expect them to qualify because they are good team who can beat anyone including ourselves. A team to watch and maybe get intop the top 20!

#45 Kericia

Apparently they gave a lot of trouble to other teams in WC27, so we cannot dismiss this team. At this ranking, they will make the top 4 and make life hard for everyone involved. Can they hit the big time? Anyone ranked 45 can.

#72 Bequerelia

They look a good team with talent to boot (no puns please). Despite the lowish ranking, they probably will rise higher with a good showing and a top 4 finish. A top 2 finish is a little different as well, us and the sea dragons aren't here to mess around. We don't their nickname, but if we found out we'll use it as we can't spell their nation name properly without Google Universe.

#116 Boudra-Boudra

No idea really, but unless these guys play really well ... we don't know. They do try and that's all that counts in the end. You must try even if you fail early. Oh, nice name!

#147 Rorysville

OK, no clue. Botton 2 material.

(unranked) Philthealbino

As above

Other groups of interest

GROUP 6

The Canucks head Group 6! It's a relatively tough one - as there are 3 other teams who can challenge, but we are sure our friends Hockey Canada can do it.

#7 Hockey Canada
#28 The Kazoo Peoples
#47 Yafor 2
#68 Haraki
#124 Nouvelle Angleterre
#157 Alasdair I Frosticus
(unranked) Iksonic

Group 10

Oh, !@#$%. The lions have a total b*tch of group. TnUI, Chicanada and Collonie! This is tough. We pray the Lions will roar.

#12 Total n Utter Insanity (yes, we did remember)
#30 Chicanada
#43 Nedalia
#59 Collonie
#94 Emperor Pudu
#193 Canabinol
#203 Blitzwehr

Starblaydia To Open Against Paladins, Actually
International Friendlies with World Cup Co-Hosts Accepted

The SFA's call for half-decent opponents to face during the World Cup Qualifiers has been answered by World Cup co-hosts New Montreal States, with a two-legged tie set up for Matchdays One and Eight.

"Aye it's reet grand t'face them laddies again," Khim Azanulbizarn said to the assembled media, "we've played 'em a few times over recent years and it'll be grand t'stretch our legs against 'em."

The experience of playing in The Archregimancy will also be a bonus to Starblaydai's squad, should they Qualify and be drawn in a group based in the Dreamed Realm. Azanulbizarn failed to fully comment on this situation, saying only that it 'gave him the willies'.

Based on Starblaydia's qualifying schedule, the first match will take place in the Dreamed Realm, with Starblaydia welcoming the Paladins to Iskara Daii's Foundation Road in the Captial, Jhanna, on Matchday Eight.

Whether a thirty-six year-old Menecrates will be tempted to take (or dream) the pitch in one of these exhibition games in a special appearance is yet to be seen.

Spaam Sports Weekly
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Waffles Looking For Friend(lie)s

Spaamanian Coach Dochou Gee has announced that he will be looking for some
friendlies to give the Waffles some game time during their byes. Any interested
nation should send a message via telegram.

Spaam World Cup History

In 279 qualifying games (not counting playoffs) Spaam has won 124, drawn
82, and lost 73. They have scored 434 goals and had 312 goals scored
against them. They receive on average 1.63 points per game, and score 58%
of the goals in their games. Spaam has played Rejistania in qualifying twice,
both times in World Cup XXIV, losing the first away 2-0, and drawing the
second at home, nill all. Spaam has never played Ariddia in qualifying, but
have played them twice in the Group stage of the World Cup. Spaam beat
Ariddia 2-0 in World Cup V, but lost 2-3 in World Cup VII.

3
Qualifying
Spaam 2 1 Western-Flanders
Vortexicca 2 2 Spaam
Moontian 2 2 Spaam
Der Angst 1 1 Spaam
Pax Humanis 3 1 Spaam
Zinkoland 2 1 Spaam
4
Qualifying
Dead Man 1 1 Spaam
Spaam 2 1 Kingsford
Spaam 3 5 GATMOG
Spaam 2 0 Caras Sidh
Spaam 1 3 Ineffectualism
Spaam 6 3 Vegana
Group
Spaam 2 2 The Divine Llama
Giant Zucchini 2 2 Spaam
Spaam 3 2 Ravenspire
Round of 16
Rhaken Kull 1 3 Spaam
Quarterfinals
Spaam 2 3 Dennisov
5
Group
Spaam 2 0 Ariddia
Spaam 1 1 Christofi
Spaam 1 1 Agrigento
Round of 16
Squornshelous 2 0 Spaam
6
Group
Spaam 3 0 Audioslavia
Spaam 2 0 Cobra Cult
Lemmitania 0 1 Spaam
Round of 16
Spaam 1 0 Copiosa Scotia
Quarterfinals
Halfassedstates 0 0 Spaam AET 0:0 PSO 1:3
Semifinals
Brazillico 3 0 Spaam
Third Place
Spaam 1 1 Errinundera AET 2:1
7
Group
Spaam 3 1 Europa Britannia
Spaam 2 0 Nonexistentcitygrad
Spaam 2 3 Ariddia
Round of 16
Snub Nose 38 1 2 Spaam
Quarterfinals
Halfassedstates 1 1 Spaam AET 1:2
Semifinals
Svecia 0 0 Spaam AET 0:0 PSO 2:3
Finals
Errinundera 1 1 Spaam AET 1:1 PSO 3:2
8
Qualifying
Spaam 2 1 Jangle Jangle Ridge
Carasek 1 4 Spaam
Spaam 0 1 Sliponia
Aquilla 3 1 Spaam
Spaam 2 0 Haraki
Jangle Jangle Ridge 1 3 Spaam
Spaam 2 2 Carasek
Sliponia 1 1 Spaam
Spaam 5 0 Aquilla
Haraki 2 1 Spaam
Group
Spaam 0 0 The Lowland Clans
Spaam 3 3 Europa Britannia
Spaam 1 2 Oglethorpia
9
Qualifying
Spaam 1 0 Lanky Dude
Spaam 0 0 Sensual Products
East Spaam 0 1 Spaam
Spaam 1 0 Clearwater
Spaam 4 4 Aquilla
Timway 2 2 Spaam
Audioslavia 2 0 Spaam
Lanky Dude 0 0 Spaam
Sensual Products 1 2 Spaam
Spaam 0 1 East Spaam
Clearwater 1 3 Spaam
Aquilla 1 0 Spaam
Spaam 1 1 Timway
Spaam 1 0 Audioslavia
10
Qualifying
Kumba ya 0 0 Spaam
Spaam 2 1 Dead Man
Eauz 2 2 Spaam
Social Cleavage 0 0 Spaam
Spaam 1 1 Kingsford
Keyshona 1 0 Spaam
Spaam 1 0 Kaze Progressa
Spaam 2 0 Scabara
Spaam 2 1 Kumba ya
Dead Man 1 3 Spaam
Spaam 1 0 Eauz
Spaam 2 1 Social Cleavage
Kingsford 4 1 Spaam
Spaam 3 0 Keyshona
Kaze Progressa 1 1 Spaam
Scabara 1 1 Spaam
11
Qualifying
One Blue Dot 1 1 Spaam
Spaam 0 1 Ravenspire
Spaam 0 1 Kaze Progressa
Brazillico 0 1 Spaam
Spaam 2 0 Dead Man
Exetonia 0 1 Spaam
Spaam 5 0 Belarussian States
Spaam 4 0 One Blue Dot
Ravenspire 2 0 Spaam
Kaze Progressa 1 1 Spaam
Spaam 3 3 Brazillico
Dead Man 1 2 Spaam
Spaam 3 0 Exetonia
Belarussian States 0 1 Spaam
Playoff
Busby 2 0 Spaam
Spaam 3 3 Busby
12
Qualifying
Spaam 1 3 Oglethorpia (Result disputed)
BSE Free Bovines 1 3 Spaam
Spaam 1 0 The Weegies
Spaam 1 1 Jeruselem
Holy India 0 5 Spaam
Brazillico 1 2 Spaam
Spaam 1 0 The Eagles Nest
Oglethorpia 1 1 Spaam
Spaam 2 0 BSE Free Bovines
The Weegies 1 0 Spaam
Jeruselem 2 2 Spaam
Spaam 1 0 Holy India
Spaam 3 2 Brazillico
The Eagles Nest 1 2 Spaam
Group
Spaam 2 0 Commerce Heights
Svecia 2 2 Spaam
Warnocks Wizards 3 1 Spaam
13
Qualifying
Spaam 2 1 Kaze Progressa
Praying2God 1 2 Spaam
Spaam 1 0 Gaddland
Aerigia 0 0 Spaam
Spaam 0 1 Oglethorpia
West Gaddland 0 4 Spaam
Spaam 1 1 Alex The Tall
Spaam 4 2 Runaway Moose
Pablitopia 0 5 Spaam
Kaze Progressa 1 1 Spaam
Spaam 3 0 Praying2God
Gaddland 0 1 Spaam
Spaam 2 0 Aerigia
Oglethorpia 3 1 Spaam
Spaam 3 0 West Gaddland
Alex The Tall 0 3 Spaam
Runaway Moose 0 0 Spaam
Spaam 2 0 Pablitopia
Group
Squornshelous 0 1 Spaam
Antaeus Rising 0 2 Spaam
Spaam 1 1 Nikea
Round of 16
Spaam 2 1 Audioslavia
Quarterfinals
Spaam 2 1 Antaeus Rising
Semifinals
Lemmitania 1 1 Spaam AET 1:1 PSO 2:4
Finals
Eauz 2 1 Spaam
14
Qualifying
Spaam 3 0 Carpet
Spaam 1 0 The Belmore Family
Dance 2 Revolution 2 1 Spaam
Spaam 2 0 Alex The Tall
Lovebug 0 2 Spaam
Spaam 3 0 Raptor Claw
Tingitana 1 1 Spaam
Spaam 1 0 ElephantandCastle
Dadostan 1 1 Spaam
Carpet 0 1 Spaam
The Belmore Family 2 2 Spaam
Spaam 3 0 Dance2Revolution
Alex The Tall 0 2 Spaam
Spaam 2 2 Lovebug
Raptor Claw 2 2 Spaam
Spaam 1 1 Tingitana
ElephantandCastle 0 1 Spaam
Spaam 2 0 Dadostan
Group
Spaam 0 0 Europa Britannia
Spaam 1 2 Cockbill Street
Spaam 2 3 One Red Dot

15
Qualifying
Spaam 2 1 Kodia
Total n Utter Insanity 0 0 Spaam
Spaam 1 0 Baureus
Spaam 2 1 Oddslavo
The Weegies 2 4 Spaam
Spaam 1 3 Stalag 5
NASTIC 2 2 1 Spaam
Spaam 1 1 Oceaice
Morriganavia 2 2 Spaam
Kodia 0 3 Spaam
Spaam 2 1 Total n Utter Insanity
Baureus 0 2 Spaam
Oddslavo 2 1 Spaam
Spaam 2 4 The Weegies
Stalag 5 1 3 Spaam
Spaam 2 2 NASTIC 2
Oceaice 0 1 Spaam
Spaam 1 1 Morriganavia
Group
Spaam 2 2 Squornshelous
Spaam 2 2 Brazillico
Spaam 2 2 One Red Dot

16
Qualifying
Northbank 0 2 Spaam
Spaam 0 2 Liverpool England
Johhny Big Pants 0 2 Spaam
Spaam 3 3 The Weegies
Lykaia 1 0 Spaam
Spaam 1 1 Northbank
Liverpool England 0 0 Spaam
Spaam 5 0 Johhny Big Pants

17
Qualifying
Spaam 5 0 Slaikau
Qia 0 5 Spaam
Spaam 3 1 Insane Inflation
The Evil Umpire 1 3 Spaam
Eauz 1 2 Spaam
Melmond 4 1 Spaam
Spaam 3 2 Oaker
Slaikau 3 2 Spaam
Spaam 3 3 Qia
Insane Inflation 3 1 Spaam
Spaam 2 2 The Evil Umpire
Spaam 1 5 Eauz
Spaam 1 2 Melmond
Oaker 2 1 Spaam
Playoff
Tadjikistan 1 2 Spaam

18
Qualifying
Spaam 2 1 Wapahkoneta
New Dubai 1 1 Spaam
Spaam 0 1 Jeruselem
Smoking Pits 1 1 Spaam
Iansisle 3 0 Spaam
Crystilakere 4 2 Spaam
Spaam 0 0 Slaikau
Wapahkoneta 1 1 Spaam
Spaam 1 1 New Dubai
Jeruselem 3 2 Spaam
Spaam 3 1 Smoking Pits
Spaam 3 0 Iansisle
Spaam 2 2 Crystilakere
Slaikau 1 3 Spaam

20
Qualifying
Audioslavia 3 1 Spaam
Spaam 1 1 Snub Nose 38
Wella 1 1 Spaam
Spaam 3 1 One Red Dot
Spaam 4 0 Giant Zucchini
San Verdi 1 4 Spaam
Spaam 2 0 East Lithuania
Spaam 1 1 Audioslavia
Snub Nose 38 1 2 Spaam
Spaam 0 2 Wella
One Red Dot 2 2 Spaam
Giant Zucchini 1 3 Spaam
Spaam 1 1 San Verdi
East Lithuania 1 1 Spaam
Group
Crystilakere 0 3 Spaam
Krytenia 1 1 Spaam
Spaam 1 2 Lethislavania
Round of 16
Turori 0 0 Spaam AET 1:0

21
Qualifying
Spaam 1 1 Anarquistan
Krakatou 0 1 Spaam
Kipto-Mare 2 3 Spaam
Dance 2 Revolution 4 3 Spaam
Krytenia 2 1 Spaam
Spaam 3 1 Spurland
Anarquistan 2 0 Spaam
Spaam 5 0 Krakatou
Spaam 3 1 Kipto-Mare
Spaam 0 0 Dance 2 Revolution
Spaam 1 2 Krytenia
Spurland 1 0 Spaam

22
Qualifying
Spaam 3 1 Murflonia
Spirit Nation 2 5 Spaam
Druida 1 0 Spaam
Sarzonia 0 1 Spaam
Spaam 0 0 Nova Mercia
Murflonia 0 0 Spaam
Spaam 0 0 Spirit Nation
Spaam 1 1 Druida
Spaam 0 2 Sarzonia
Nova Mercia 0 0 Spaam

23
Qualifying
Spaam 0 1 Hockey Canada
Spolotikopia 0 1 Spaam
One Red Dot 0 0 Spaam
Antarcticanada 0 3 Spaam
Spaam 1 1 Kassyyk
Spaam 0 0 Total n Utter Insanity
Jeruselem 0 1 Spaam
Hockey Canada 1 0 Spaam
Spaam 1 1 Spolotikopia
Spaam 0 2 One Red Dot
Spaam 2 0 Antarcticanada
Kassyyk 1 1 Spaam
Total n Utter Insanity 0 0 Spaam

24
Qualifying
Spaam 1 2 Jewish Citizens
Kaze Progressa 1 2 Spaam
Spaam 0 1 The Archregimancy
Poppuli 2 1 Spaam
Wella 1 2 Spaam
Rejistania 2 0 Spaam
Spaam 0 1 Eauz
Jewish Citizens 2 1 Spaam
Spaam 1 3 Kaze Progressa
The Archregimancy 2 1 Spaam
Spaam 2 1 Poppuli
Spaam 2 1 Wella
Spaam 0 0 Rejistania
Eauz 2 1 Spaam

25
Qualifying
Spaam 1 1 Hockey Canada
Nedalia 1 2 Spaam
Spaam 1 1 RyukyuDaitoKazanNampo
Spaam 2 2 Total n Utter Insanity
Eauz 1 1 Spaam
Spaam 0 1 Da WhoseLine People
Adam Island 0 1 Spaam
Spaam 1 0 Yafor 2
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 3 3 Spaam
Hockey Canada 4 1 Spaam
Spaam 1 1 Nedalia
RyukyuDaitoKazanNampo 4 1 Spaam
Total n Utter Insanity 2 0 Spaam
Spaam 0 1 Eauz
Da WhoseLine People 3 1 Spaam
Spaam 2 2 Adam Island
Yafor 2 2 1 Spaam
Spaam 0 2 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

26
Qualifying
The Weegies 3 2 Spaam
Spaam 0 1 Hockey Canada
Krytenia 4 2 Spaam
Fbrenia 0 2 Spaam
Spaam 1 0 FSX
Spaam 0 0 Northern Voobaha
Spaam 3 1 The Weegies
Hockey Canada 3 2 Spaam
Spaam 2 1 Krytenia
Spaam 2 1 Fbrenia
FSX 2 1 Spaam
Northern Voobaha 0 1 Spaam

27
Qualifying
Spaam 4 0 Obsidianus
Shing-Shang 1 1 Spaam
Oliverry 1 0 Spaam
Spaam 1 0 Haraki
Priggdom 0 0 Spaam
Starblaydia 0 1 Spaam
Spaam 4 0 Wentland
Spaam 0 0 East Lithuania
Obsidianus 2 3 Spaam
Spaam 2 0 Shing-Shang
Spaam 0 1 Oliverry
Haraki 1 1 Spaam
Spaam 1 0 Priggdom
Spaam 0 5 Starblaydia
Wentland 0 1 Spaam
East Lithuania 1 1 Spaam
Playoff
Rolatia 1 3 Spaam
Group
Fmjphoenix 6 2 Spaam
Spaam 2 0 Oliverry
Vilita 1 3 Spaam
Round of 16
Liverpool England 3 2 Spaam

The Schiavone Scribe
TOO EASY?

Schiavone football fans were... well, not quite dancing in the street, but pretty damn happy last night, as the draw for the qualifying stages of World Cup 28 were made.

Yes, if the SFF and their Oliverrian counterparts had actively tried to find the biggest bunch of footballing nobodies and rounded them up into a group, then they couldn't have done too much better than this lot.

Anyway, we'll give them a decent read up, trying to talk up their chances a bit, but I don't know who we'll be fooling...

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/oliverry.jpg
Oliverry
World Ranking: 10 WC Best: Quarter Finals (WC27) Region: Atlantian Oceania

Oliverry are one of those sides that you might not expect to be brilliant, but have somehow wangled their way up into the top ten teams in the world. Will hopefully provide a couple of challenging games for the Sloths, but it would be nice to think that we could actually beat them to top the group.
Prediction: 1st

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/schiavonia.jpg
Schiavonia
World Ranking: 22 WC Best: 3rd in Group stage (WC27) Region: FIFA

Ranked 22 after two cups? Not that it hasn't been done before, but with the number of participating nations there's been with high hopes over recent years... not to be underestimated. Or overestimated, either. Most notable for missing out by tight margins (missed topping group in qualifying twice only on GD, missed out on WC27 second round on goals scored).
Prediction: 2nd (on alphabetical order)

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/mcpsychoville.jpg
McPsychoville
World Ranking: 54 WC Best: 6th Qualifying Group 10 (WC27) Region: Alliance of Honourable Peoples

Crazy celts who didn't even realise they'd entered World Cup 26, so the ten points they collected there means they must be alright. I mean, if they can do that well without realising that they'd entered, just imagine what could happen now they turn up for games!
Prediction: 3rd

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/kelse.jpg
Kelse
World Ranking: 73 WC Best: 4th Qualifying Group 9 (WC27) Region: International Democratic Union

I thought that this team had been around slightly longer than they have, but then the number of anonymous mid-ranking teams that come and go, who'd blame us for that? Pushed Commerce Heights close for a play-off spot last time, so capable of putting a decent run together.
Prediction: 5th

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/cr_oscilloscopes.jpg
CR Oscilloscopes
World Ranking: 93 WC Best: 6th Qualifying Group 1 (WC27) Region: parallel pacific

Had a mixed time of it last time around, possibly slightly exceeding their ranking of over 200 that time. A repeat would see them pushing for third.
Prediction: 4th

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/vejar.jpg
Vejar
World Ranking: 179 WC Best: First Cup Region: Equilism

Lost out in the Baptism of Fire regional playoffs, which is some sucky bit between the group stage and the knockout stages. Easily dismissed.
Prediction: 7th

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/macau.jpg
Tinsuvilia
World Ranking: unranked WC Best: First Cup Region: New Paladinia

First timers coming in without even a Baptism of Fire entry to their name, which takes some nerve to do. Expect them to sink without much of a trace as the plucky losers.
Prediction: 6th

So there we go, that's the bunch of no-hopers and even-less-hopers that make up Group 10. Personally, I think it's all a bit of a waste of time, but then I'd rather be out in the sun with a banana split and a glass of gin like everyone else. But I'm stuck in this tiny little office writing this.

Ah, balls to it, let's go have some fun with everyone else out there!

Oh, first I should tell you that the SFF have announced that the sloths will be travelling to Spaam on their bye day on Matchday Two to play the Waffles in a friendly. The decision was made because "...they've got bigger stadia than us. And history." Nothing to do with the fact that it means the change strip will be getting worn just as it comes into the sports shops...

And there's a return game on Matchday Nine at the King Francesco Stadium. Because "...we'd just be sitting around bored, otherwise."

Spaam Sports Weekly
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Spaam vs Schiavonia

Spaam and Schiavonia will be playing a home and away friendly series during
their byes. On Matchday 2 Spaam will take on Schiavonia at Artanis National
Stadium, while on Matchday 9, the Waffles will be heading to Schiavonia for
the reverse leg. Spaam coach Dochou Gee in an interview said "We will be
fielding a full team for these friendlies, though we will give some of the bench
players some extra time. It will be good for both our teams to try something
new, and provide the fans with some entertainment. This will be a perfect
opportunity for our assistant coach Tamsyn Pengelley as well, who will be
taking the reins for this match."

OOC: Could you scorinate these matches for us? Also, I will be using a +2 modifier for this game only.

Cataduanes and Wentland reunited

Drawn into Group 12 the obvious main threat will be Fmjphoenix but for many Cataduano fans the real fixture will be Wentland who knocked the Islanders out of the last COH in the Semi finals. Coach Manua had this to say ‘'well all groups have to draw a major side and we could have ended up with Liverpool England or Bedistan so FMJphoenix will do but I am really looking forward to facing Wentland again, theres unfinished business between us and they are the first team we face so its understated to say that will be a major test of our resolve’’ when asked about the other teams in the groups he said ‘’we do not intend to underestimate anyone, regardless of rank’’ and when prompted to how far the Islanders could go ''look this is football, anything can go right or wrong, if we get passed the qualifacation stages that would be great, anything after that will be a bonus''.

“Hello everyone and welcome to Tynelian Soccer Weekly’s preview edition of our World Cup 28 coverage. I’m Sal Spikeman and at my side as always is Anna Dalespin. Well Anna, another four years have come and gone and its World Cup time once again.”

“That’s right Sal. Tynelian fans have to be concerned about this same squad’s poor showing in the DI where they lost five straight games before finally winning one. As all five losses were against top 50 teams it remains to be seen if Tynelia has what it takes to knock off one of the big boys.”

“Good point Anna, to date, Tynelia has yet to beat any top 50 ranked team they’ve played though they did manage a draw against an already clinched Total n Utter Insanity squad in the last Cup. This will be a serious issue holding them back if they want to succeed this time around. So Anna what do you think about the draw?”

“Well Sal, its actually not as tough as last Cup’s in a way. We have the lowest ranked #1 seed of all the groups but only 4 groups have a lower ranked # 2 or three seed. All but one of these teams we’ll be facing for the first time but the early part of the schedule is very favorable. In its first three matches, Tynelia will face the three teams ranked below them. Similar to the last Cup Tynelia must win at least 5 of their 6 games against the lower seeds to have any chance of advancing. But on paper at least there’s a reasonable chance of being able to pull off an Algal States like start and go 3-0-0 to start things off. Ironically they’ll be the first team Tynelia will face this Cup.”

“In the last cup Tynelia managed to sweep the home and home series against them and with many of the same players back again, we can hope that this will give them the confidence to avoid their traditional slow starts in international play. In fact it was way back in our Baptism of Fire before we can find an international tournament where Tynelia won its first game before its third match. But you’re right Anna, a slow start against the softer part of the schedule will doom them when they come back from the bye and play the big boys.”

“Indeed Sal, Tynelia needs to sprint out early then try to steal some points from the higher seeds. The best thing that can happen for our team would actually involve the top three teams. With the three of them being so close in rank its possible that they could beat each other up, splitting wins, lots of draws and let Tynelia sneak in through the back door though again that means Tynelia has to show it can beat a top 50 team.”

“So what are your predictions then Anna?”

“On paper of course Krytenia and Turori look to be the class of the group. Both teams qualified last Cup with Turori actually putting up more points than Krytenia in the qualifying stage. However a poor showing afterwards probably cost them a couple spots in the rankings while Krytenia fared much better. Turori is a bit more inconsistent of the two squads having failed to qualify for the 26th Cup. Look for Krytenia to hold on and take the top spot.

The Lowland Clans are an interesting wild card in all this. They did have a pretty good run in the Cup of Harmony and looks to be a team ready to make the next step into qualifying for the World Cup. However, it must be said as well that despite the nearness of their actual rankings, Turori’s score is more than double that of the Lowland Clans. It will be interesting to see which of these two teams gets hot at the right time and take the second spot. If I had to pick one of them I have to stick with Turori however, they were far too dominant in group play last time to be put aside so easily.”

“So no hope for Tynelia?”

“Unfortunately Sal I think we’ll be more or less stuck where we started at 4th place. Going back to the preferred defensive style of play will help us naturally but unlike the first Cup, the seeds ahead of us are quite a respectable margin ahead and it will take a supreme effort by our boys and girls to even steal third place from the big three.”

“You don’t see any of the teams below us being a threat to us?”

“Not really Sal, the Algal States are right below us but we’ve beaten them twice last Cup as I said earlier. I think Tynelia is comfortable playing them though we have to watch out in case they start out on another shocking start like last Cup. The Kazoo Peoples found that out the hard way when they were upset in their opening match by the Algals. Talmeria finished in the middle of the pack during the Baptism of Fire and though Mr.Chuck Norris came from a similar ranking to do some damage in the first half of the last Cup, this is a team that Tynelia should be able to handle. Geisenfried will be making its first appearance in any sort of international play and as out team found out last Cup., getting adjusted to such a higher level of competition takes some time so Tynelia should do well against them as well.”

“OK then Anna, when all is said and done nothing will be changing then from what you’re saying.”

“Unfortunate but true, Tynelia probably needs a bit more experience before they can seriously expect to be seen as a legitimate threat on the soccer scene but they should do respectably well this time around.”

“Very well Anna, now lets go to our on field correspondent Dana Lee who is at the airport as the team prepares to head off to visit the Algal States and is with Coach Greg Tudor.”

<footage turns to the Tyr International Airport where the team members are climbing on board their private jet.>

“Coach Tudor, a word with you? This is Dana Lee of Tynelian Soccer Weekly.”

“Ah good day Miss Lee, how are you today?”

“Just fine Coach, now I can see you’re getting ready to head off for match one but I was wondering about your thoughts about the team’s chances?”

“I think we’ll have a jolly good run here. This time around, each match is much more important than the last Cup with two less teams in the group. That just means we need to start off faster. The lads and lasses have beaten these Algals before and have now been together for over four years now so I think we’ll do quite well again this time. It’s my hope that we can end our string of slow starts this time. A quick win right off is a good way to get some early momentum. The schedule makers made sure that we do have a chance to make a rally straight off so its up to us to take advantage. It’d be much nicer playing Krytenia with them looking up at us in the standings than the other way I must say. I’m expecting a good 20-22 points from us this time, we’ll just have to see if that’s enough Miss Lee. But now I’m terribly sorry but I must be off. Good day madame.”

“Thanks Coach and good luck against the Algals. Well there you have it. Coach Tudor expects another solid showing and possibly even a slight improvement from last time. Back to you Sal and Anna.”

<footage returns to the studio>

“Thanks Dana. Well Anna, I’m a bit surprised that Coach Tudor isn’t expecting to score much more than the last time despite our team’s improvement since last time.”

“Actually he is Sal. He said it right at the start. Unlike WC27 we’ll only be playing a total of 12 matches in the qualification stages compared to 16 in WC27. His expectations of 20-22 points will actually be a greater percentage of the available points than last tournaments. So we could actually get a larger chunk of the available points with the same total as last tournament which would be an improvement.”

“Ah I forgot about that Anna, good point. Now let’s go on to the lighter side of things with the still lovely Harmonie Masterson with her soccer news in a segment called ‘Harmonie’s Hearsay’ over to you Harmonie.”

<camera swings over to Harmonie’s desk off to the side of the anchors>
“Hi Sal! Hi Anna! Oh this is SOOO exciting to be here again and talking about how my wonderful husband Jay Masterson and the rest of the team do in another World Cup . I miss you snuggly-poo! But I’m here today to tell everyone all the important stuff that Sal and Anna forgot to tell you. Today we’re going to talk about Amy Whiteworth and Vladimar Malloy. Are they or aren’t they? People everywhere have reported seeing the two of them together and lots of different places and want to know if they’re secretly dating. Both of them deny everything and Jay-kins even told me I was imagining it but here are the pictures and you all can decide at home!”

<picture 1 appears on the screen. Amy and Vladimar are the first two getting on the team bus going to practice>

<picture 2 appears. Amy and Vladimar are seen sitting next to each other at a restaurant with four other members of the national squad sitting around the same table>

<picture 3 appears. Vladimar is seen holding Amy’s bags while she ties her shoes on the way to the stadium for a match>

<picture 4 appears. Amy and Vladimar are seen laughing together with Donna Kent as Adrian Pytte tells a joke>

“There you have it, looks pretty serious to me. But I’d be sooo sweeeet if the two of them got together. They could hang out with me and snuggly-poo and we’d be like the three musketeers except they’d be four of us. Well that’s all for now but I’ll be following this story closely don’t worry. Back to you Sal and Anna.”

“Um thanks Harmonie. Anna’s suddenly developed a headache and has gone off to get some aspirin but I’m sure she’ll be fine when its time for Cup play to begin. And when it does we’ll be here after every match to keep track of Tynelia’s second attempt at World Cup play. Each game will be seen live and in its entirety on national television. Coming next, top Tynelian historians will debate the historical relevance of the upcoming film The Michelangelo Puzzle Until next time, this is Sal Spikeman for Anna Dalespin wishing everyone a good night.

Dear Diary,

The group draw was today. Kinda just hit home that I’m now the manager of the national team today, just sitting there watching the draw…the stress hasn’t hit home yet, but I bet it will start pretty darn soon. We’re in Group 11, not an easy group, especially if we want to qualify from it…Sarzonia is a strong team, Milchama we may have a chance, but we’d better be well prepared…

I think it’s against the lower ranked sides we need to be more careful with. If we don’t drop the points against them…we stand a better chance, so we’d better be prepared against them. Which reminds me…I’ve got to go plan my training schedule for the guys…tata…

D

Swilatia should expect a stormy reception
Reported by, Lisburn Star

Well after the world cup draw being made the Mateys featuring in their first world do not expect much even the manager stated , " all we want to do is enjoy the experience, work hard in training and develop the nations game for the future"
"unfortunatly we didnt get the best of groups, but we will strive to make the oppoission work hard when they play us and we do not want to give away any easy victories and hopefully not finish bottom would be nice as well"

In a recent article SBC sport article when creating a round up on the Mateys commented that ,"they dont stand a chance against us, or really any one in this group" it went on further to say "so they should just give up"

When we asked manager Paul Kirk about this he angrily said ," its not secret that we aren't the best in the world, we know it, the fans know it and even New Montreal States knows it, but those comments are just disgraceful. Football is all about friendship, team work and most of all fun, the press shouldn't be running down the oppisition like that".

The Mateys where drawn in group 11 with


#13 Sarzonia
#31 Milchama
#38 Giant Zucchini
#63 Swilatia
#85 Oglethorpia
#137 Lisburn Mateys
(unranked) Khenas

A 7th placed finish is the most likly but sneak a few points here and there and 6th could be a possibility.


Members of the public seem to furious at the comments made by Swilatia press after hundreds of emails and text where sent into our offices, with some even threating violence.

The Police have also stated that they can't gaureentee the safety of any Swilatia fans when they come to play at the National stadium at the Maze.

RORDIA - DESTINATION NMS
Part 1: Rordia Expects

Expectations are high in Rordia, as the national football team prepares for World Cup 28 qualifying.
Rordia have been paired in Group 1 with Bedistan, Hypocria, Anathematic Republics, Nebuleux, Narbithia and Virginia Nova. Out of those teams, only Bedistan, Hypocria and Anathematic Republics have a realistic chance of causing the Rordians any problems.
Rordia have never qualified for a World Cup finals before, but they have had a meteoric rise since World Cup 25, when they finished rock bottom of their qualifying group. They almost qualified for World Cup 26, but the World Cup 27 campaign was not as successful.

Manager Neil van der Wal is optimistic about Rordia's chances. He said: "We have now established ourselves as a team to watch out for in the qualifying rounds. Although we have never made it to the last 32, World Cup 28 could change that.
"Our squad is more prepared than ever. We will do all we can to give our fans even more to smile about. We will not disappoint them."
This will be Rordia's 4th tournament. If they qualify for the finals, it will be extraordinary, as new nations don't usually manage to qualify for their first finals until after their 5th campaign.

The squad that played in the World Cup 27 qualifiers will be almost completely different to the squad for this tournament. That is because most of the players from the last campaign have since retired.
Some have retired because of old age, but some have been forced to retire because of broken legs. So far this season, broken legs have dogged the Rordian league, leaving more than 50 players ruled out for long periods (30 have retired, and four have been told they can never walk again). Fortunately, star players Tim Brick and Ciaran Mirren are not victims of this so-called "Rordian leg flu".

RORDIA SQUAD
Goalkeepers: Iain O'Leary, Terry Reynolds, James Walliams
Defenders: Samuel Craig, Michael Davidson, Seth Harrold, Sanjeev Khan, Peter McMenahan, Liam Robertson, Bob Towell, Francis Underwood
Midfielders: Mick Badger, Paul Farrell, Zak Gibson, Ciaran Mirren, Andy Parkinson, Mohammed Patel, Simon Vance, Darius van der Wal
Forwards: Tim Brick (c), Adam Hartnell, Freddie Monaghan, Oliver Stevenson

The first match is away to Hypocria, and the second is at home to Virginia Nova. Michael Davidson, one of the few players left from the World Cup 25 squad, will be out of those matches with a thigh injury.

From Lopez's Frontal Lobe
A Group 3 preview that doesn't consist of 'we have no idea who they are, and haven't been bothered to find out, either'
by Ex-Starblaydi International Giovanni Lopez

Georgeonia (Matchdays 2 and 9)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/georgeonia.jpg
Rank: 89 Region: Flavian Amphitheatre Prediction: 5th
Coming back for their second attempt at the World Cup, Georgeonia's 'Squids' (named after the national animal, surely) finished bottom of Group 11 in World Cup 27 but somehow managed a surprise 1-0 win over Starblaydi rivals Tadjikistan on the final matchday. After entering the Cup of Harmony for that Cup - failing to make it out of the Group Stage - the team entered the second Draggonnii Inviyatti. There they finished 'Dead Last' (official Inviyatti terminology) after losing to Mr Chuck Norris on penalties. Their top scorer is expected to betwenty-five year-old Gaetan Majewski.
Previous Meetings: None

Dauna Hills (Matchdays 3 and 10)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/dauna_hills.jpg
Rank: 148 Region: Atlantian Oceania Prediction: 6th
Their links with rivals Fmjphoenix notwithstanding, Dauna Hills as back in the World Cup after an eight-year hiatus. Those eight years in the wilderness have seen them slip to 148th in the world and for once we have a team from Atlantian Oceania who are vaguely-familiar, yet somehow are rubbish. We met them in World Cup 25 on the way to our Championship when Zhorin Tumunzahar scored once in each game to give us a win and a draw. Surely more is expected of Starblaydia this time, however, though the Hills themselves will be lucky to break their silence.
Previous Meetings: World Cup 25 Qualifying - Starblaydia 1-1 Dauna Hills, Duana Hills 0-1 Starblaydia

Gaspland (Matchdays 4 and 11)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/swaziland.jpg
Rank: 205 Region: The East Pacific Prediction: 7th
This is the only nation in this Group where one can say 'We know nothing about them' as, quite frankly, we don't think they've ever played a competitive game of football before. Bottom place, and bottom by a long way should be the fate of Gaspland, despite their groovy zulu shield flag.
Previous Meetings: None

Vuam and Isma (Matchdays 5 and 12)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/virgin_islands.jpg
Rank: 73 Region: New Cyberia Prediction: 3rd
They seemed unprepared for the beginning of the Baptism of Fire for World Cup 27 and only got into their stride towards the end, had they gelled together from the first matchday then Boudra-Boudra may not have lifted that similar brand of purple-coloured football to the trophy. An unimpresive Cup of Harmony followed, but they're back for more. Expect to see them perform above expectations, which is why I've predicted them to leapfrog Harlesburg.
Previous Meetings: None

Harlesburg (Matchdays 6 and 13)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/romania.jpg
Rank: 57 Region: The KGB Prediction: 4th
A nation who have been around sports a long time, though tending not to say much about it. Though football is not their best sport, they have performed at a consistently mediocre level without qualifying for any major recent tournaments. One meeting between our nations saw Reynaldo give the Starblaydi kids a victory over Harlesburg's senior side, which says everything about them.
Previous Meetings: Perusa Invitational Tournament - Starblaydia Under-19s 1-0 Harlesburg

Praying2God (Matchdays 7 and 14)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/united_states--56.jpg
Rank: 27 Region: FIFA Prediction: 2nd
Only beginning to seriously make an impact on the world stage after Starblaydia's World Cup 25 victory, Praying2God will certainly need divine intervention if they are to overcome the former World Champions and current 3rd-best team in the world to tae the Group Winner's spot. A rather dismal performance in the Group Stages of World Cup 27 left them with just one solitary draw to their name, and that's perhaps the best they can hope for when playing Starblaydia, even when at home on the Final Matchday.
Previous Meetings: None

And our friendly opponents...

New Montreal States (Matchdays 1 and 7)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/new_montreal_states.jpg
Rank: 15 Region: The Kingdom of the Midlands Prediction: Win & Draw for Starblaydia
A team we've got to know quite well over recent Cups, Starblaydia have yet to lose to the 'Paladins', who have worked their way up the rankings in a solid, steadfast manner to the more-than-respectable place of 15th in the world. Were they qualifying for this Cup they'd likely be a top seed, and making the Quarter Final before being knocked out by Menecrates' Starblaydia has done their national game no harm at all. Starblaydia will be unlikely to risk their precious starting eleven in these friendlies, though expect one or two stars to come in to show the States' how it's done.
Previous Meetings: World Cup 27 Quarter Final - Starblaydia 2-1 New Montreal States; World Cup 26 Qualifying - New Montreal States 2-5 Starblaydia, Starblaydia 2-2 New Montreal States

Former Striker and Right-Winger Giovanni Lopez, 39, is a winner of both World Cup 25 and Under-21 World Cup 14, one of the magical Starblaydi 'Golden Generation'. He captained the Under-21s for U21WC17 and played for Starblaydia in World Cup 24 and 25. He scored the winning goal in the Final against Rejistania in extra time, for which he is most vividly remembered and thanked. His opinions stated herein are, thankfully, his own.

Cuation Face Cup of Harmony

Cuation fans felt they stood a chance to get past the qualfications are two years of being so close. This time, Cuation going through will require a major upset from the 37th team in the world. Cuation's goal should be third place after a decent chase for second place for most of it.

Cuation will need to learn to beat the lesser teams like Slakaj, do well against middle teams like Five Civilized Nations. Then rediscover the ability to cuase upsets against the likes of Bettia but also, not to suffer a loss of form part way through.

The Cuation management would like to issue an offer for a friendly on MD 3 and 10

Squornshelous(4), MD 6 and 13

We will be thrashed, Squornshelous finish first in the group, nothing more to say other then ask them to rest their entire first team for MD 13 if we are still in with a chance of going into the World Cup

Bettia(23) MD1 and 8

If we are to go through, we have to beat this giant. Away in the first game to this lot is not ideal but if we win, it is a huge early boost to our hopes. Overall Bettia are the better side and will take second place

Cuation(37)

The team that love mice will just be looking to grab third place and go into the Cup of Harmony with an eye to win it. Rual Mendiz's place up front is under severe threat to Pual but which of the two hot shots will finish as the first choice?

Five Civilized Nations(78) MD 7 and 14

Well we have a huge gap in rank places on our biggest rivals for 3rd place but we must not get complacent. A good side, they will look to put pressure on us and catch up when we drift off in midway point. Our last game is against these lot, it could be vital

Mr Chuck Norris(86) MD4 and 11

A one man side, they will look to build on a solid first season. We should be able to get 4 points but they are an outside shot for 3rd place.

Burning Penguins(201) MD5 and 12

We are open to burning this lot off the park. We expect four points from this unknown lot who will have to avoidthe wooden spoon spot

Slakaj(205) MD2 and 9

Would seem ideal to either recover from a defeat or to continue winning form, we will only get two points but they get the wooden spoon as punishment

Euphory is the best word to describe the ambiance at the NCFL headquarters after the news of the national team participation at WC28

Tricolor fury coach, Paco Antequera, has said "we have been the best football league and national team in the Euskalherria region for decades. It's time to test ourselves at a more ambicious championship".

About the rivals, Antequera says that "we are in a difficult but accesible group. We can easily be the big surprise or return home with empty hands".

Antequera told the press that he knows very well the team rivals, except Atheistic Right: "I know how to play against every squad in the group but that strange team is a big enigma. We must be very, very, careful with them".

For the first time since WW2, the football league has stopped. The NCFL says that some matches might be played in summer.

Uniform colours.
1st
Red and yellow vertical stripes shirt
Violet shorts and socks
2nd
All violet
3rd
All white

After the excitement of the draw, the even greater thrill of pundits explaining why Wentland would qualify easily/be humiliated perforce according to the viewer's predilection.

The viewers of W3 however were treated to something a little unexpected as compere Winthrop Tuesday was seen talking to an old man be-bearded mightily and in a tattered cape. Had they heard the discussions backstage they would have understood.

"Sorry, what are you doing here?"

"Your nice young lady booked me to appear on your discussion programme."

"Erm, which one?"

"The blonde one, with the pigtails."

"No, which programme?"

[Blonde lady with pigtails bursts in.] "Peter, you're needed now with Winthrop."

"Oh, how exciting."

"Err...you're talking to Winthrop Tuesday? The football man?"

"Is that what he is? Perhaps he's a bag of wind, heh heh."

"No, we're expecting Peter McDermott to appear with him..."

[Blonde lady with pigtails blushes] "Peter McDermott? I thought you said Peter the Hermit..."

"So, Peter, what do you think of the draw?"

"It sticks a little when I try to pull it out."

"No, the World Cup draw."

"What's that?"

"The arrangement of teams for competing in the World Cup."

"Will a cup be big enough?"

"Erm, it is the prize."

"Oh, how lovely. I like tea."

"Peter, Wentland is due to play various other countries and we would like your opinion on them."

"At what?"

"Football."

"Oh, that thing? Why do people play that? Just 22 men kicking a bag around while a little man in black tells them off."

"Err....I ask the questions!! Now, we face Fmjphoenix. What do you know about them?"

"Nothing."

"Ooohhhh kayyy...Cataduanes. You must know something about them."

"Why?"

"We played them in the Cup of Harmony."

"Oh, that should be nice and friendly then. All harmonious. How lovely."

"Erm, we beat them in the semis. There's a bit of acrimony there."

"Well, if we let them win, that will even it all out."

"Ermm...Bazalonia. How about them? We've played them before."

"That's nice. All friends together."

"Magnus Valerius?"

"On his own? He's brave."

[sigh] "New Lexington?"

"Is there an Old Lexington?"

"We'll get onto that. No point in going on to St Happenin."

"Oh, it's a huge, economically powerful nation, renowned for its burgeoning porpoise population. Its compassionate, hard-working population of 234 million are either ruled by a small, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which. It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it concentrates mainly on Commerce, although Law & Order and Religion & Spirituality are secondary priorities. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 37%. A large private sector is led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, followed by Gambling and Information Technology."

"Er, Peter the Hermit, thank you."

"Always a pleasure. Where's that nice young lady with the pigtails? I've a fancy she wants to come to the Hermitage."

UKROPS PRESENTS VIRGINIA NOVA EAGLES WC 28 Edition

Teams to be Faced

#1 Bedistan

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/bedistan.jpg
Team Synopsis: the definding World Champions are the number one
team in the world and they're there for a reason: There Good
Prediction Two losses

#36 Hypocria
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/hypocria.jpg
Team Synopsis: Reletively unknow to us. There ranking
says that they should be good
Prediction one loss and one draw



#46 Rordia
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/rordia.jpg
Team Synopsis: Another relatively highly ranked team. This team is
even more misterious to us than Hypocria
Prediction one win and one draw


#58 Anathematic Republics
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/the_anathematic_republics.jpg
Team Synopsis:Mid major team should be our equal in the Cup
Prediction Two draws


#113 Nebuleux
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/Nebuleux.jpg
Team Synopsis:A relative newbie to WC Play this should be an easy
team to beat
Prediction Two Wins


#156 Narbithia
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/narbithia.jpg
Team Synopsis:A recent BOF Participent these guys should be
victories,But could be losses
Prediction two wins

OVERALL RESULTS PREDICTION


...........W.D.L
Overall 5-4-3

Squids Ready for World Cup

Georgeonia put up a good showing at wc27, despite eventually
finishing bottom of their group. Having entered as an
unranked side, they were still challenging for a play-off
spot with only a few matches to go, and collected sixteen
points over the course of the campaign, including four from
eventual group winners Tadjikistan. Their performance in
the cup of harmony was also encouraging, as they finished
third in their group despite being ranked last. The
Draggonnii Inviyatti was less sucessful for the squids, and
the were unfortunate to lose on penalties to Mr Chuck
Norris, which left them in dead last place. The fact
remains, however, that the squids have been playing well
above their ranking, and have never yet lost a game to a
side ranked below them. Their success can be seen in their
new world ranking of 89, and they enter wc28 as fifth seeds
in their group of seven. The squids will undoubtedly hope
and expect to finish in a better position this time around,
and may even repeat some of their giant-killing antics of
the last world cup.

Chuck Norris News
For All Of Your Fighting Norris Coverage

Yes all of you football fans, its that time of the season again, time for the World Cup qualifiers. Coach Bob Janney and his Fighting Norris are back with a new wave of high hopes and everyone's revved up to play some good matches.

The World Cup 28 Group Draw was recently held and here to comment on that is the head hancho of the Fighting Norris, Bob Janney.

"Hello Everyone! Good to talk to you again! I just thought I'd catch you up on the Group Draw and what the season for the Fighting Norris is looking like. The Fighting Norris were drawn into group 4 with the six teams below, each with a little analysis for your viewing pleasure.

Squornshelous
World Rank: 4
History: The Pschychoes have a long history in the World Cup program apparently starting in World Cup 5, in which they were able to reach the quarterfinals, only to lose to eventual third-place team Svecia. They reached the second round in World Cup 6, losing to eventual winners by a score of 0-1. In World Cup 7, they lost in the second round yet again to eventual third-place team Svecia. They qualified in World Cup 8, but failed to advance from the second round. In World Cup 9, they lost 1-3 to The Belmore Family, whom we know from last year's World Cup when we beat them 4-1 and drew them 2-2. They also failed to pass the First Round of the World Cup proper in World Cup 10. World Cup 11, they began making some real noise when they nearly beat eventual winners Europa Brittania in the quarterfinals, but lost on penalty kicks. World Cup 12 continued to illustrate their rise when they nearly beat eventual runner-ups Audioslavia in Extra time. They qualified in World Cup 13, but did not escape the first round. World Cup 14 marked their first failure to qualify since their establishment. However, their failure in World Cup 14 only pushed them to pay dirt in World Cup 15 when they nearly won it all, only to lose by one penalty kick to Commerce Heights. The sudden overachievement only resulted in another second round loss in World Cup 16, losing to the eventual fourth-place team, The Eagles Nest. They then also failed to escape the first round in World Cup 17, but they still qualified. They did however land back in the elite group when they managed to score fourth place in World Cup 18. In what seemed to become a pattern, everytime this squad landed a top four spot in one World Cup, they would lose in the one of the first two rounds in the next, as they did in World Cup 19, when they did not advance past the first round. By World Cup 20, they were rolling again by placing third. As you all know though, their top four finish earns them a first/second round fallout in the next, which again happens when they lose in the second round of World Cup 21. World Cup 22, they almost defeated eventual runner-ups Oaker, but lost by one penalty kick. They lost yet again to a runner-up in World Cup 23, but this time to Druidia. Their third straight second-round loss occured in World Cup 24, this time to now World Cup champion two cups running, Bedistan. Their streak was broken in World Cup 25, when they finally clawed their way past the second round and eventually landed third place. However, we all now that huge success is always to be followed by underachievement. In World Cup 26, they failed to make it past the first round only one cup after placing third. In the last World Cup, the 27th (and our first Cup), the Pschychoes placed fourth.
Summary: This squad has qualified in every single cup they've played in but one. The chances of us beating these guys: overly slim. However, although it has no effect on us, I'd like to note that their top-four finish last cup dooms them to a first or second round exit this year.

Bettia
World Rank: 23
History: Not nearly as old as Squornshelous, but nearly as deadly, this squad apparently originated in World Cup 22, in which they failed to qualify. They have failed to qualify in nearly every cup since with the exception of World Cups 25 and 27.
Summary: Win for us... possible... but highly unlikely. How is their rank as high as it is? They've only qualified for two World Cup propers, but that doesn't make them any easier.

Cuation
World Rank:37
History:Haven't been around long, but are ranked fairly high. They have yet to qualify into a World Cup proper, but came dagerously close in World Cup 27.
Summary:They haven't qualified yet, maybe we can pull off some good matches against these guys.

Five Civilized Nations
World Rank: 78
History: This squad has been around off and on for quite a while. They have qualified into many World Cup propers, but have fallen off the map after World Cup 26, not even participating in World Cup 27.
Summary: I believe that we can really score some points off this struggling team... or is this their big comeback? Only time will tell.

Mr Chuck Norris
World Rank: 86
History: Ah yes... the Fighting Norris. We've only been around since World Cup 27, in which we made a name for ourselves by racking up some victories. However, a recent streak of failure has made our team semi-questionable.
Summary: Hopefully we can make some noise this year, but anything can happen.

Burning Penguins
World Rank: 201
History: They're fresh out of the Baptism of Fire, where they only won one match and failed to qualify.
Summary: I will be very angry if we don't beat this team, who happens to reside in our nation's region.

Slakaj
World Rank: 205
History:Another team fresh out of the Baptism of Fire. However, they only managed to draw one game. They also failed to qualify.
Summary: If we lose to this squad, blood will be shed... and I don't care by whom.

Well, that's pretty much it. I'm not sure what's going to happen but I'm sure it will be intense. Be sure to attend, or at least watch, our first match at our very own La Estadia De Norris (our home stadium) where we will face Five Civilized Nations. It'll be a good match reguardless of who wins. That's all I have to say, I'll be back after the first match."

World Cup 28 Schedule of the Fighting Norris:
Matchday 1: Vs. Five Civilized Nations
Matchday 2: Vs. Squornshelous
Matchday 3: At Bettia
Matchday 4: At Cuation
Matchday 5: On Bye
Matchday 6: Vs. Slakaj
Matchday 7: Vs. Burning Penguins
Matchday 8: At Five Civilized Nations
Matchday 9: At Squornshelous
Matchday 10: Vs. Bettia
Matchday 11: Vs. Cuation
Matchday 12: On Bye
Matchday 13: At Slajak
Matchday 14: At Burning Penguins

Fighting Norris World Cup 28 Record: (0-0-0)

Schiavonia joins 'The List'

Yes, the everpresent 'List' that every good Psycho fan should have now finds itself up another member, and this time it IS down to the team's sensitivity rather than a real reasons. Hey-ho. Schiavonia's entry onto 'The List', joining such luminaries as Sarzonia and Majeristan (formerly known as Sarzonia Junior), comes courtesy of 'The Schiavone Scribe', which states :

Yes, if the SFF and their Oliverrian counterparts had actively tried to find the biggest bunch of footballing nobodies and rounded them up into a group, then they couldn't have done too much better than this lot.

Fighting talk indeed. And keeping an almost-identical team to the one that beat Dance 2 Revolution, Cuation and Wentland en route to the Cup of Harmony (not that we'd be trying to remind anyone, not least our own supporters, of course), we can at least hope to take a point or six off Schiavonia.

And look! We've got them first! If you'll excuse the slang, it's on like Pete Tong's copy of Donkey Kong. We are representing, yo.

Oliverry - KPB Rank: 10
Can we really expect to do much against them? The optimists say the best we can hope for is two draws, so two points it is.

Schiavonia - KPB Rank: 22
Boo, hiss, boo. We could try to claim that we've faced harder blokes than Schiavonia, but the truth is that when we did, it didn't end too well for us. Two points, or maybe a win when we go back to the LeMaitre Stadium.

McPsychoville - KPB Rank: Awesome
WORLD CUP 29 WINNERS. YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST.

Kelse - KPB Rank: 73
Kelse are puzzling. We should, thereotically, be able to beat them, but Kelse just look a bit wrong at times, like there's something about the team that shouldn't be allowed. Four points is the hopeful answer, one is the defeatist answer.

CR Oscilloscopes - KPB Rank: 93
So what's an oscilloscope when it's at home? We know what it is, don't send in your answers, it's a rhetorical question. Probably too concerned about the industrial revolutions and such to put up much of a fight. Four to six points.

Vejar - KPB Rank: 179
Every team has to start somewhere. For these guys, it looks like the 6th spot. Ah, well, just forget you entered this cup, come back, don't qualify for the next one and enter that Cup of Harmony. Instant win, we says.

Tinsuvilia - KPB Rank: None
Unranked is likely to equal a lot of ouch for these poor buggers.

Some mildly caustic reviews of the good teams we'll be playing (and Schiavonia. Oh, and indeed, snap.) for you there, and we will be leaving you with that to ponder over. Schiavonia vs. McPsychoville, let's make some noise (and if you really feel like it, fly over, watch the match, then start some riots if we lose. Creative revenge, eh?)

Oh, P.S - if anyone feels like getting together for a Matchday 3/10 friendly, we're open to suggestions.

MONASTIC TIMES

ARCHREGIMANCY TO HOST STARBLAYDIA - NMS FRIENDLY
MFA Announces National Squad Also Willing to Play Friendlies

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe


The Monastic Football Association took a minute out this morning from putting 'ranking point data' into something called an 'excel spreadsheet' to announce that the Archregimancy would host a matchday one friendly between perennial world cup powers Starblaydia and fellow Orthodox nation (and World Cup co-hosts) New Montreal States.

"Hosting two such prominent teams gives us a much-needed pre-tournament opportunity to iron out some remaining minor organisation wrinkles" said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity. "In particular, we need to see how non-Orthodox teams react to the presence of Holy Icons in their dressing room, and whether all of the gold in the behind-the-goal iconostasis might blind players when the sun's at a low angle."

Other sources in the MFA have said that they might use this friendly to test a trick they've been planning for the opening ceremony of the tournament proper: whether it's possible to transform the Dreamed Stadium from an 80,000 capacity replica of Haghia Sophia to an 80,000 capacity replica of the Melbourne Cricket Ground while people are actually still inside the ground. MFA officials say the idea is to hold the pre-match preliminaries in the replica of Justinian's great church, while the match itself will take place inside the MCG replica. Whether this feat of oneirology will do anything to soothe what Starblaydi authorities are technically terming 'the willies' remains to be seen.

In other news, the MFA have announced that the Archregimancy national squad are themselves available to play friendlies during the qualification tournament. "We see it as a way of spreading the Paschal spirit" said yet another senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity. "You know... 'Christ is Risen! He is Risen Indeed! Now let's play some football!"

OOC: MD 1 friendly scorination
I'm happy to scorinate the various MD1 friendlies, but if you'd like me to do so, please TG me separately so as to guarantee that I know you've asked me to do just that.

Konigseifert Chronicle

If At First You Don't Succeed, Try, Try Again.
Golden Eagles Look Towards WC28, Hoping To Do Better Than WC24 Debacle

They had just come out of Baptism of Fire 24. They'd played pretty strong, and managed to get well into the knockout round before losing. Nevertheless, in World Cup 24, the Geisenfried Golden Eagles had high hopes of making an impact. They did, though hardly in the way they wanted: they hit rock bottom with such an impact that it set back the national team back several years. Faced with such powerhouses as Starblaydia and recent AOCAF champions Fmjphoenix, the Golden Eagles only managed to snag 4 draws, losing the other 10 games and not getting a single victory. Shamed horribly, the Golden Eagles refrained from playing the next three World Cups, numbers 25, 26, and 27. However, reinvigorated with new youth and talent, the Golden Eagles look to try... with emphasis on try... to make a good run this year, and set down some key foundations in setting up a team that can really compete.

They have managed to get some luck. Though it can't be said that this group is the easiest, it definitely could be harder, and for that, the Golden Eagles can be thankful. Placed in the final group, number fifteen, their opponents for the first (and most likely only) round will be fellow Atlantian Oceania region mates Krytenia, Turori, and the Lowland Clans, along with the smaller nations of Tynelia, the Algal States, and Talmeria. Though the top three teams are indeed from our region of Atlantian Oceania, we, unfortunately, are the black sheep, and are not blessed with the footballing tradition that is spread throughout the AO region. And so, we have been ungloriously been placed dead last in the division. This is mostly thanks to our 3-cup absence, which has kept us off the world rankings. Since we have competed before, we couldn't legally play in the BoF (though some in Geisenfried argue we probably could have kept that in the shadows and played anyway), so no rank has been gained from there either.

Anyways, without further adieu...

-Official Predictions-

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/krytenia.jpg
Krytenia
World Ranking: 18th
Predicted Division Ranking: 1st
Notes: A co-host back in World Cup 24, as well as the most recent AOCAF hosts, Krytenia is pretty much a lock to take this division. Turori, which is only 6 spots lower than them in the world rankings, might post a challenge, but we think betting on them to win the division is a pretty safe bet.
Our Chances Against Them: We'll have to play really well and they'll have to really screw up for our games to even be close. Geisenfried will most likely get blown out in both games.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/the_lowland_clans.jpg
The Lowland Clans
World Ranking: 42nd
Predicted Division Ranking: 2nd
Notes: Another Atlantian Oceania team, these guys have shown themselves to be pretty strong lately, so we won't be surprised if they manage to get into the second round. In fact, we think they will.
Our Chances Against Them: This is were we sigh and shake our heads in shame, asking why can't our football team be better.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/turori.jpg
Turori
World Ranking: 24th
Predicted Division Ranking: 3rd
Notes: Yet another Atlantian Oceania team, they could contend with Krytenia, but if they're not careful and slip up, the Lowland Clans may edge into the second spot and into the second round.
Our Chances Against Them: We might win if they play their reserves, but other than that, not much hope.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/east_timor.jpg
Tynelia
World Ranking: 71st
Predicted Division Ranking: 4th
Notes: A small, not as well known nation as the first three, but considering their rank, they're respectable.
Our Chances Against Them: With luck, we can get a point or two in our two games with these guys, since getting a draw isn't out of the question.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/geisenfried.jpg
Geisenfried
World Ranking: (unranked)
Predicted Division Ranking: 5th
Notes: We may be biased and overestimating our own national team, but if the Golden Eagles manage to show some drive, they can prevent a copy of the winless World Cup 24, and can probably keep out from under the bottom of the bracket.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/canada--53.jpg
Algal States
World Ranking: 103rd
Predicted Division Ranking: 6th
Notes: Can't say we've ever heard of this group, but their rank doesn't seem to be too bad.
Our Chances Against Them: With some good play, we can get past these guys in the standings, and get at least one, if not two wins. But that might be a bit optimistic.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/talmeria.jpg
Talmeria
World Ranking: 193rd
Predicted Division Ranking: 7th
Notes: Another no name. And considering their rank, these guys aren't too good. However, we probably shouldn't be criticizing people on rank.
Our Chances Against Them: If we're going to win in this World Cup, these guys will be the ones we beat. We can probably even get six points out of the two matches we play against them.

Schedule:

Geisenfried at Talmeria
Geisenfried at The Lowland Clans
Geisenfried at Tynelia
Krytenia at Geisenfried
Turori at Geisenfried
Geisenfried at Algal States
Bye
Talmeria at Geisenfried
The Lowland Clans at Geisenfried
Tynelia at Geisenfried
Geisenfried at Krytenia
Geisenfried at Turori
Algal States at Geisenfried
Bye

Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Domestic-International-Star-News-Toda

Sports Section

Milchama to have home and home friendly series again ASMV

In a semi suprising announcement the MFA announced late last night that they will be sponsoring a home and home friendly series against ASMV on Matchdays 2 and 9. Coach Jamie Smith said, "We need the extra practice and ASMV is always a tough opponent for us, so this is a good oppurtunity for us to gain some experience and become better internationally."

The first game will be played in Milchama at the National Stadium and the second game will be played in ASMV at a stadium that has not been released yet. A win in this game will look good for the Warriors as they prepare for another long qualifying quest to the World Cup. As for the history against the Sea Dragons I think we played them once in a friendly and won although that might have been The Kazoo Peoples.

Tadjikistan in World Cup 28

Never before in their history has their morale been so low as now, ranked 16th in the KBP ranking they are still 'top of their group', but thats far from what the fans expected to see. Two Wordl Cups ago, the Tigers were nineth and happy with that, but mediocre results, such as the defeats in World Cup 27 caused Tadjikistans a [small] downfall.

Coach Alexander Zaev had to shake up his team, get rid of the rotten apples and replace one of Tadjikistans most important players, Michael Pliiev. Everyone hopes that Zaev managed to form a good squad, but many still question his selection. Nikolay Elisarov, a young new talent, was not selected while others, who did not play a satisfactory campaign with their own clubs stayed around. Though a lack of interest on behalf of the players is also thought to be a factor.

The Tadjiks hope that their opponents are as illprepared for this World Cup as they are, so that maybe the Tigers can slip past and into the World Cup. Here are all other teams in group 13:

Spruitland(21): The Tigers met these guys several years ago and won twice during the World Cup qualifications (3-1 and 1-2), but the scores show that in both cases they managed to defeat the Tadjik defenses. Since those encounters, Spruitland improved while we didnt. We can only hope they are looking for a wooden spoon.

Pastorville(51): We remember these guys, overly defensive with only one striker. They could'nt make a single goal against us on World cup 27, while we got past that wall six times (2-0 and 0-4). History tells us they shouldnt pose a problem, but just like Spruitland; they got better and we didnt.

Apologetic Kittens(70): We have heard of them, but we do not know much about this team. I dont think they'll qualify anyway, though they could make some trouble for the top teams. They shouldnt be to much of a problem, all we have to do is play like we did 8 years ago.

Atheistic Right(106): Atheism is ok, we are mostly Atheistic, does that mean we know how they'll play? probably not! But they are outsiders for the World cup anyway, should be six points for Tadjikistan

Radke(193): Definite outsiders for the World Cup, they should focus on beating other lowerranked teams and improve their own ranking so that they might one day qualify. Another six points for Tadjikistan.

Northern Ceasarea(Unranked): Think they could be the big surprise of this World Cup ... or return home with empty hands. Well, we would go for the second choice, even if they do know how to play against every team, we think they will be in for a big surprise against Coach Zaevs reformed Tadjik Tigers. Put these six points on Tadjikistans record.

For predictions we offcourse would like to stick with the two top teams on top, they are simply the two best teams of this groups and they've proven it alot. The rest of the group gets mixed up a bit as we (would like to) see some teams stick out with above the rest.
Especially the match Atheistic Right - Pastorville should be interesting while we'd like to give Northern Ceasarea the benefit of the doubt.

1)Tadjikistan
2)Spruitland
3)Apologetic Kittens
4)Atheistic Right
5)Pastorville
6)Northern Ceasarea
7)Radke

And we wouldnt withold the Tadjik Matchschedules from you, but you'll see this return atleast 12 times.
MD1: Bye
MD2: Atheistic Right - Tadjikistan
MD3: Tadjikistan - Radke
MD4: Northern Ceasarea - Tadjikistan
MD5: Apologetic Kittens - Tadjikistan
MD6: Tadjikistan - Pastorville
MD7: Tadjikistan - Spruitland
MD8: Bye
MD9: Tadjikistan - Atheistic Right
MD10: Radke - Tadjikistan
MD11: Tadjikistan - Northern Ceasarea
MD12: Tadjikistan - Apologetic Kittens
MD13: Pastorville - Tadjikistan
MD14: Spruitland - Tadjikistan

FALE request Archregimancy 'home' friendly
The FALE have requested a friendly to be played at the National Stadium in CCL against World Cup 28 cohosts The Archregimancy after the qualifying schedule was released, noting that the Terminators had Matchday 1 off.

The FALE announced that "The Board of Directors, after consultation with manager Nick Reagan and Assistant Manager Tommy Lunson, have decided to put forward a request to the Monastic Football Association of The Archregimancy for a friendly between the national teams of our two respective associations, tentatively to be played at the National Stadium in CCL."

It is expected that the MFA will accept the request, although it is not known if the MFA are willing to play abroad in a country without an official religion for a non-competitive fixture.

Reinovations Completed In Time For Cup!

The Tynelian Minister of Propaganda Jill Claymore announced shortly after the Tynelian nationals departed to the Algal States that thanks to some round the clock yeoman work by the construction crews that the new and improved Presidential Coliseum will be ready in tiome for Tynelia's home matches.

" This is just another example of what Tynelians can acomplish when they set their minds to it. After seeing the popularity of the sport just explode during the last World Cup myself and the Ministry of Trade got together to propose an ambitious addition to the oldest and largest sporting venue in Tynelia.

"During the last Cup the stadium could hold 40000 spectators. While that was fine even as recently as five years ago, the resulting soccer boom has made it almost impossible to find tickets. To help our fans show their support for our team we recently added an addition to the upper deck as well as a special 'ground level' ring which are the best seats in the stadium. The upper deck will seat an additional 9500 people and the 'ground level' ring which is actually set at five feet above the ground so viewers can see over the players heads but are still below the next lowest seats set ten feet above the ground and will seat 500. Of course a safety net will be in place to prevent errant shots from the field injuring fans sitting there.

"Both sections will have their own vendors and facilities to help keep lines at the concession stands and rest rooms reasonable. We've also added a play area for the younger children who may become bored watching a game they don't understand for a couple hours so they can use up their restless energy and not distract their parents. Professional day care personell will be there to keep an eye on our future soccer stars and let mom and dad enjoy the game knowing their children will be in good hands.

"We now look forward to our home openner against Geisenfried so we can unveil our new improvements to viewers all over the world."

Harvey Alfredo had had very little to do since taking over as Chief of the SFF. But then, all it really involves is keeping the place organised and keeping a good rapport between the sport and the people.

He'd organised three friendly games for his country this campaign, against The Islands of Qutar before it gets under way and two against Spaam on matchdays two and nine.

All in all, an easy job well done so far. The flight out to Qutar would be tomorrow, then it'll be to the King Francesco Stadium to face McPsychoville. What could possiblt go wrong.

The phone rang. Harvey answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey there Harvey, it's Rodney Lowe here."

"Ah, Rodney. Got the team all tucked up in bed ready for tomorrow's flight?"

"Harvey, it's three in the afternoon."

"But you know how jetlag can affect them. Every little helps."

"No. The players are out on the training field with the specialist coaches. I'm just reading some newspaper clippings about football from around the world. You know, the ones you collect together and send me."

"Ah yes. Proving helpful, are they?"

"Well... kind of. Only there seems to have been a breakdown in good relations between ourselves and McPsychoville."

"A breakdown in good relations? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, let me read this... 'and if you really feel like it, fly over, watch the match, then start some riots if we lose. Create revenge, eh?'... it's not exactly sporting behaviour, is it?"

"It's not. What's got them speaking about us like this?"

"Apparently, The Schiavone Scribe's write up of the group said that the rest of the group were a pile of tripe or something."

"Ah."

"Harvey, you don't know who wrote this piece, do you?"

"Nope. But I'm going to go to find out."

- - - - -

"You did it then?"

"Yes Mr Ford. Got them worked up good and proper."

"Ah, good. Nice to see some people still have values in this day and age. So you going to keep this up throughout the cup?"

"For the amount you're paying me? I'll keep it up as long as you want me to."

"Fantastic. Well you might as well get started with the Qutar game then. Mock them about how much better than them we are, even though we started out from the same place at the same time. Oh, and say something bad about Ali. That'll gets their backs up."

"OK. I'll show you the report after the game before it goes out."

"Great. I'm looking forward to it."

- - - - -

"I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO MR. HARDIMAN!!!"

Harvey Alfredo was fuming as he stormed into the offices of the Schiavone Scribe.

"But Mr. Hardiman is not in at the moment. He's gone home to rest before he goes to Qutar tomorrow to write on the team."

"But I have to speak to him! Do you not have a telephone number or anything?"

"I'm afraid he's asked not to be disturbed at all tonight."

"But this is urgent! Surely the chief of the football federation should ba able to contact the head sports writer of the nation's most popular newspaper?"

"Sorry, but I can't give you any details."

"Oh, lord!"

And with that, Harvey stormed out.

Spaam Sports Weekly
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Spaam vs Ariddia

Spaam will be hosting the old farts of NS football, Ariddia, tomorrow, in a much
anticipated match. The two teams have not met at World Cup level for over 80
years, the last seeing the Waffles go down 2-3 in an exciting game of
yesteryear. This match will probably set the scene for the rest of the qualifying,
with a Spaamanian win giving the Waffles an easy road, a loss, giving them a
steep uphill battle, and draw not really saying anything at all. Meanwhile, sales
of walking frames and fluffy slippers have gone up 300%.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

Casari to face off against hosts Archregimancy
MD1 away leg completes doubleheader with Starblaydia v NMS, Return leg back at The Muffin on MD8

Continuing the massive string of bye-day-friendly-announcements, the CSA let fly yesterday that the Casaran team had found a pair of opponents for their off-day-friendlies in the form of the Hosts, the Archregimancy.

The home-and-home series will see the first match being proposed as the second half of a doubleheader after the Starblaydia-New Montreal States match in the Archregimancy. So after seeing some graceful, talented football by two of the world's better teams, the assembled crowd will get to see a bunch of drunk Casarans try to muscle around some monks.

When asked, Coach/GM Hill just looked at us puzzled and shrugged. "Someone scheduled a friendly?" Aftr a short explination, she finally seemed to understand, and marched off, muttering under her breath. The specifics of these actions we're not sure of, but the match is, of course, eagerly awaited by all.

The only suggestion from the team is that the fans do visit their local houses of worship before leaving, however.

"Harvey?"

"Rodney."

"It's happened again."

"What has?"

"This viscious reporting."

"Really?"

"Yep. Winston Hardiman's report for The Schiavone Scribe after the Qutar game. Read it. It's the must un-Schiavone thing you'll have read since the McPsychoville stuff last week."

"I'd better get a copy."

"Oh, no need. I've sent it through to your office. Should arrive any minute."

"OK then. I'll call you back when I'm done."

Harvey put the phone down

The Schiavone Scribe
QU-TARRIBLE
The Islands of Qutar 2-2 Schiavonia

How on earth did we only manage to draw with this lot?

I mean, OK, last cup when there was only one rank between us, OK, but we've come a long way since then, while Qutar have gone backwards. Yet they still managed to hold us to a two all draw.

And that Ali... all he seems to do is stand around in front of the goal and wait for the ball to come to him. He's not really much of a footballer, is he. If he's the best that they can come up with, it's no wonder they suck!

At that point, Harvey gave up reading the so-called report and called Rodney Lowe back.

"You read it then?"

"I couldn't finish it! It's outrageous! No Schiavone in their right mind would speak about people from another country like that. Especially one in the public eye!"

"Actually, that's where you're wrong."

"What."

"There is one Schiavone who would speak like that. And it's not Winston Hardiman..."

Were Ready
By NL Sports Weekly
In an exclusive NLSW interview with head manager Chris Fryland today after the King's last practice before WC28, Fryland said "The team has really practiced hard and i think were ready as we'll ever be" Lexitonain fans began arriving early this morning and theres around 15000 here and another 5000 are on the way. New-Lexington will face off today for their first WC28 Game!! Go Kings!!!

"Good work again, Winston."

"But it's harming our sales figures. People are cottoning onto it already."

"Don't worry. You're making more out of me than you are from them."

"But if I don't have my job at the paper, then I can't keep saying all these things to the world."

"Never mind about that. Just keep doing it. I'll make sure you stay in your job."

"Promise."

"Promise."

"OK, then..."

Spaam Sports Weekly
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Spaam vs Schiavonia

Spaam's matchday 2 friendly has started early, with Schiavonia attempting to
out-spaam Spaam. Nevermind that over 60 years ago, the Spaam Sports
Weekly perfected the art of spaaming, creating some of the best news
reports in the history of the World Cup, helping it become the most
documented Cup until World Cup 27. No, the Schiavone Scribe has laid the
smack down upon the SSW, so we are ready to open a can of whoopass unto
them.

Lowe Loves Animals

There has been shocking reports that Schiavonia manager Rodney Lowe will
be marrying a dalmation on the weekend. The couple was found out on a
'romantic' weekend to Total n Utter Insanity, known for their lax animal rights.
This will be the third marriage for Mr Lowe, though it is unknown who, or
what, he was married to before.

http://www.danheller.com/images/Pooches/dalmation-love.jpg

The Enlightener: pimping snacks since 2006
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/FAB.jpg

Psychoes Seen In Gabalfa?

Don't panic dear readers, we're not reporting a rash of deranged loonies rampaging on the streets of our beloved capital - it's just a vaguely humourous take on the qualifying round draw for this, the latest installment of the World Cup.

Our beloved Aroras have been drawn into Group 4 against a couple of notable nations. We begin with a trio of home matches, beginning with a rather tantalising home tie against Cuation, to be played at the ever-impressive Stadiwm Bettia. After what promises to be a hard-fought battle, the Aroras take with a well-earned day of rest, followed by a trip to the north coast to face Mr Chuck Norris, before returning to the capital to face some Burning Penguins. Now, I know what you're thinking - an eleven-on-one contest followed by a matchup against a collection of incinerated birds is hardly fair, but if the Aroras win, who cares?

After that, Bettia go on an extended tour of duty, facing six consecutive away games. The Blessed Realm's ever-expanding foreign travel industry is licking its lips at this prospect, organising grand cruises to all the venues. The supporters could be in for a tough time though. First stop is the Armed Republic of Slakaj, who are newcomers to the footy scene and should provide an interesting tie (although our goalkeeper will be bored silly, with any luck).

Our next destination is Five Civilised Nations, who are ranked 78th but will be looking to improve that somewhat. Next come our toughest challenge... an away day at Squornshelous, who just happen to be one of the best teams in the world. Oh dear... normally, we'd expect our defence to be up to the task, but as the old saying goes, We Don't Do Defence.

This potential thrashing concludes the first half of our fixtures, but not our hardship as we next face the return leg at Cuation. This game isn't just a potential banana skin, its a tree full of the yellow buggers. No doubt the second day off will come as a relief, before rounding off the grand tour with trips to Mr Chuck Norris and those Burning Penguins (maybe they'll be put out by the time we arrive).

To celebrate our homecoming, the Bettian team will spend a day at the seaside before entertaining Slakaj at Shubunkin Park, before introducing Five Civilised Nations to the Cauldron of Noise. And then comes the big finale... the national stadium sees the Aroras take on the Psychoes of Squornshelous in what could turn out to be a hugely vital match, given the potential tightness of this qualifying group (ooer missus).

Of course, the writer will refrain from making any predictions because as we have seen in the past, predictions usually turn around and bite us none-too-graciously on the derriere. Will Bettia be travelling once again to the Archregimancy or New Montreal States, two nations who welcomed us all those years ago in the Cup of Harmony? Will they run rampant against Group 4's defences? And will the Enlightener's football writers attempt to actually write something this time round - and will it be a normal news report, or something a bit different? Don't hold your breath folks... anything can happen here, and usually doesn't.


Fixtures
01: Bettia vs. Cuation (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)
02: BYE
03: Bettia vs Mr Chuck Norris (Docklands Park, Porthbalfa)
04: Bettia vs. Burning Penguins (Alice Street, Butetown)
05: Slakaj vs. Bettia
06: Five Civilised Nations vs. Bettia
07: Squornshelous vs. Bettia
08: Cuation vs. Bettia
09: BYE
10: Mr Chuck Norris vs. Bettia
11: Burning Penguins vs. Bettia
12: Bettia vs. Slakaj (Shubunkin Park, Akani Sands)
13: Bettia vs. Five Civilised Nations (Al-Fath Stadium, Sukatra)
14: Bettia vs. Squornshelous (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)

Deadbolt City
Offices of the Deadbolt Sentinel
15:11

''ere, boss,' shouted Lenny Smudge across the room. Better known to the public as 'Albert Plumridge', his pen name - since 'Lenny Smudge' was seen as being a bad name to present in a respectable newspaper like the Sentinel - Smudge 's job was to report on foreign affairs within the world of sport. All he really had to do was watch games from across the world and report on them, and on occasions when McPsychoville joined the international community, he'd bang out a piece about the competition and their chances in it and so on, so forth.

Truth be told, it wasn't much different to the reporting in the sneered-upon tabloids, but as the chief editor Oscar Killian was fond of saying, the Sentinel used words with more than two syllables which instantly set them apart from everyone else. The man himself was on the third hour of his lunch break, so deputising was the Sports Editor, Chris Steele.

'What d'you want, Lenny?' bellowed Steele. He was certainly not the friendliest of people, but Steele was the patriarch of the sports reporters, particularly over the younger guys and girls.

'It's Schiavonia 'gain!' Lenny threw his copy of the Scribe at Steele, and it was obvious what Lenny was talking about straight away.

'QU-TARRIBLE?!' shouted Steele. Lenny, realising that the shouting wasn't helping him any more than if he simply went to Steele, got up.

'They're stirring the shit up about everyone, seems. And this time we've got a byline.' Lenny pointed at the name below the title.

'Winston Hardiman?'

'Same guy who did the report before, I think, it looks like his writing.'

Steele pushed himself against the wall, rolling towards his desk. Taking the chunky black phone from the set, he dialled the number for the International Relations department. The reason the Sentinel had an International Relations department was simple - a number of compromising situations had been averted by swift interaction between the media of the nations involved. With luck, they'd get the whole thing sorted out before anybody tried to take matters into their own hands.

Of course, the International Relations department were absolutely notorious for never being there when you needed them.

The phone rang fully twenty times before there was any answer, by which time Steele was pounding his computer's monitor over and over - never a good idea, as it was a plasma screen.

'Hello?'

'Where the FUCK have you been?!'

There was a sigh down the phone. 'Cat! It's Steele, can you take care of this?'

'No, don't-' began Steele, before the girl on the other end put her phone down on the table. Steele growled down the line in absolute frustration, something that wasn't much helped by the arrival of Cat.

'Morning, gorgeous,' she purred into the phone.

'I'm really, really not in the mood for this, Cat. Just get your sweet ass up off that chair and find me the number for the Schiavone Scribe.' Cat tutted, but she did do what he said; in spite of his less-than-pleasant demeanour, Steele held plenty of power in the newspaper as it was.

'Alright, alright. It's the Schiavonia country code then 2617-9902.'

'Good. Thanks' he grunted, before hanging up. Talking to Cat always managed to both anger and mollify him at the same time. Damn woman.

'LENNY! Get on the phone to the Scribe!'

"Schiavone Scribe..."

"Let me spek to Hardiman now!!!" Lenny fumed down the phone.

"I'm afraid he's not in at the moment."

"Well is there no way I can mail him or something?"

"I'm sorry, sir," and with that, the receptionist put the phone down.

As she did, Harvey Alfredo stormed again.

"Hello sir, can I help?"

But she couldn't. He went straight in and headed to the sports depeartment.

- - - - -

"Winston!"

"Mr. Ford."

"Have you seen the latest Spaam Sports Weekly?"

"No."

"They've mocked up a picture of Lowe and his dog involved in a bit of... well, loving!"

"Well, I always thought he wasa bit odd in that way, but still..."

"Run something on it during the Spaam friendly. Stick loads of canine puns in to the report. It'll be funny as hell!"

"OK then. Will do!"

He put the phone down, just as the door vigorously opened, Alfredo stormed through it and through a copy of the Qutar match report on the desk.

"What do you think this is?"

"It's uh... the match report."

"Report? But it doesn't actually report ANYTHING! It's just a piece about how much you can annoy the people of Qutar. And how much hostility you can create amongst the Schiavone people towards our international football rivals!"

"But... it..."

"I've got some friends in high places, Mr. Hardiman, and I can soon see you kicked out of your post if you carry on in this most un-Schiavone manner."

And with that, he stormed out.

"Yeah, right." Hardiman thought to himself, "Mr. Ford will show him!"

- - - - -

The Schiavone players were assembled in the dressing room before their game with McPsychoville at the King Francesco Stadium. Rodney Lowe is giving his team a good talking to.

"...Tony, Paolo, Craig, get amongst the defensive three and create as much havock as you can. Remember, it's pretty much one-on-one in there, so if you get the right side of your man, you're in."

"Boss..." Team Captain Gareth Marsden raised his hand to speak, and Lowe nodded in his direction. "...is it just me, or are this nation a bit... well, not like anyone else. I mean, usually the friendly party we lay on catches the away fans imagination, and as a representative of the offical visitors welcoming committee... well, let's just say that the people from McPsychoville weren't exactly willing to join in."

"Ah." Lowe sighed.

"What?"

"Well, you see, this is something myself and the SFF have been trying to deal with. I'm sure some of you will have noticed that the tone of reports in a particular daily newspaper has changed a bit lately."

The players nodded in agreement.

"Well, when the paper in question reached McPsychoville, well... it hit a raw nerve."

"So they'll be pumped up for the game tonight?" Marsden questioned.

"Well, yes."

"Why didn't you tell us that before. You would have motivated us by telling us that."

"You see, I don't want you to become Psychovonia and go around bashing into them at every opportunity. I want you to show them what Schiavonia is really all about. Show them your skill, show them how calm you keep, show them that..."

"Boss, you know us. Would we do anything else?"

"I guess... I've just had other things on my mind recently."

"Is it about the dog story?"

"Well, yes. I couldn't help it. I was scouting in TnUI and it fell on me. Then some Spaamanian photographer gets a snap and it all gets blown out of all proportion."

"You could always carry out lagal proceedings."

"Who do you think I am, Michael Ford? No, I have my dignity and so be it."

"OK. So that's another thing we're playing for. Our manager! Come on boys! Let's show them what real Schiavones are all about!"

The #147th Ranked Rorysville's Head Coach Scott McKlintok was recently heard on Sportsnet RV talking about the upcomming World Cup and how he will do after Replacing WC27's Head Coach Adam Lilles and what The Moose Factory can expect to see with the competition.
Mike Toh Sportsnet RV-"Coach McKlintok what about the Team's Forming?"

Coach McKlintok-"Well This squad is alot younger than our previous team,These players were left off their state teams for the simple fact that they were too young or just a cut below I think in this aspect they will have a chip on thier shoulders to play with and prove to the rest of the Country as well as their Respective State Programs that they made a mistake in not taking them."

Mike Toth from Sportsnet RV-"Mr. McKlintok what about the Youth on the squad?"

Coach McKlintok-"I really think that this team will show off how energetic they are our past squad from World cup twentyseven played a more defensive style as that is what Lilles wanted them to play I think that Rorysville's national teams are better suited in an offensive scheme more agressive and better suited to the Youthfull exsuberance of this squad we have the RVSL's brightest growing star Adam Negeuanne from the League Champion RV Celtics. He personally destroyed all myths that a rookie couldn't dominate the league he had 32 goals in 45 games that alone should answer our critics as to where our offense is comming from."

Mike Toth-"Coach what is the expectations on the team and what about the experience factor?"

Coach McKlintok-"Our Team is looking forward to playing in World Cup twentyeight we only have two players returning from World Cup twentyseven forward Mike Jasper and Defender Jaques Mallar. Their Experience in the last game should help our youth with the Expierence in playing in an International Friendly. In total thier is a total of 4 players on this squad with International experience besides Jasper and Mallar we also have Nathan Bauer and Alexander Nikolishin on the Bench they both have played in International Freindlies against Rodina,Virgina Nova,Kedalfax,Chacaras,and New Rhodesia in numourous Challenge Shield Competitions."

Mike Toth-"Thank you coach any last comments for the Moose Factory?"

Coach McKlintok-"Thank you for the Interview and Moose Factory get Ready this squad will be worthy of your support"

Rorysville is Currently Ranked 147th in the Nation and fresh off the heels of a Semi-Finals Birth in the Ukrops Dominion-Commenwelth Cup.They are in Group seven.
GROUP 7

#8 Jeruselem
#32 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
#45 Kericia
#72 Bequerelia
#116 Boudra-Boudra
#147 Rorysville
(unranked) Philthealbino

D2R drawn into Group 2

D2R have a lot of history in the group, revenge is imminent

Yes, revenge is coming...unfortunately, the three higher ranked teams are the ones who have been scorned by the Revolutionaries in the past.

#2 Liverpool England

Liverpool England come into this group heavy favourites to come out winners of the group, and even strongly tipped to come somewhere near the actual title.

Their grudge against D2R? World Cup 17 Semi Finals: Liverpool England 1 – 2 Dance 2 Revolution (AET) ... D2R, despite being huge underdogs and being completely dominated, pipped LE to the final in Extra Time.

#20 Vilita

Should be the other person to go through in this group, although probably won't go any further than the quarter finals.

Their grudge against D2R? World Cup 19 Round of 16: Vilita 3 – 3 Dance 2 Revolution (3-3 AET)(2-4 APK) ... D2R managed to win in their first ever penalty shootout to go through at the expense of Vilita, again Vilita had the majority of the play and we think they may have been ahead 3-1 when the final whistle was close to starting.

#44 Kaze Progressa

Kaze Progessa have not been doing as well as they really think they should be. Although D2R and Kaze Progressa have a political and geographical closeness, the friendly rivalry swings almost totally in D2Rs favour...something the Progressians will want to stop as soon as possible.

Their grudge against D2R: It's a local derby that the Progressians have yet to win, but if we had to pick one match: World Cup 20 Group Stages 3rd Day: Kaze Progressa 0 - 2 Dance 2 Revolution ... this win knocked the wind out of the KP sails...thats about it.

#64 Dance 2 Revolution

It's us...yes we're not very good, coming off the back of a disappointing FIFA Cup of Nations, we're waiting for the 400th goal to go flying into the back of the net.

Our grudge against ourselves?!: That we didn't stay on the top of the mountain for long enough and have let ourselves slip completely.

(#87) Dorian and Sonya & (#172) Rosberg & Homieville

Not much is known about any of these teams, Dorian and Sonya should be given respect as they are gunning for us, although none of the teams should be overlooked, we know first hand the punishment the lower ranked teams can give you in they are overlooked.

Their grudge against D2R?: We're the lower ranked high ranked veteranish team, and they're out to prove a point.

The RFA plan to release the names of the new D2R coaching staff soon.

D2R Previous Record:
Played 248
Win 127
Draw 43
Lose 78
Goals For 395
Goals Against 305
Goals Differential +90

With less than half an hour to go before the kickoff of Matchday 1, the Psychos were all together in the (admittedly slightly cramped) away dressing room of the King Francesco Stadium, and while the storm about the Schiavone Scribe's derogatory comments on the Psycho team was beginning to fade in the outside world, the players still had an axe to grind with Schiavonia.

'Cup of Harmony 19 Winners. Ranked 54 in the world after two years on the scene. It's not bad, is it?'

A murmur of assent rumbled around the room.

'But it's not good enough for us to rest on our laurels, such as they are. I'll make no secret of the fact that you guys bailed me out - when I had crowds outside my hotel room, chanting that I needed to be kicked out, you got the lead out and went all the way - but this is going to be a new chapter in our history.

'Today, my friends, we go for the jugular. Go out there and tear the house down; Schiavonia prides itself on being able to stay calm and play tactically, so we stop them. If we can force them into a bruising game, they're finished.

'Let's show them bastards what the Psychos can do.'

The Daily Rabbler
Home to the Kodiaks

#30 Gets Nedalia Again
Kodiaks Get Interesting Draw, Could Be 3rd Again

The Kodiak Nation will get an early test to see just how that 30th place rank is when they start with rivals Nedalia in the opener of World Cup 28 Qualifying.

The match, set for tommorow at the new Steelgrounds in Atens, will see Coach Malli's entire WC27 side make a trumphant return from their bare-nuckled qualifiers and their second ever Finals appearance. While the club certianly wants a better result - such as maybe a win in the finals - they know what happened the last time the Kodiaks made the Finals. As do we all. A Seven Game Losing Streak is not accecptable to anyone, lest alone a CFA already having the media breathing down their neck.

The CFA have already thrown their support behind the squad, but rumblings that Union Libs-back CFA Presidum Quoshen might still kill the national side in light of the Womens Squad's third-place finish in the first ever Womens World Cup. Could the Lady Kodiaks be the national side in 29? We'll have to see.

GROUP 10 draw

#12 Total n Utter Insanity
#30 Chicanada
#43 Nedalia
#59 Collonie
#94 Emperor Pudu
#193 Canabinol
#203 Blitzwehr

MATCHDAY SCHEDULES

MD 1: v Nedalia (@ Steelgrounds, Atens)
MD 2: off day (practice in Cana)
MD 3: v Emperor Pudu (@ Stock City Grounds, Jaxx)
MD 4: v Canabinol (@ Mountainside Fairgrounds, Castille)
MD 5: @ Blitzwehr
MD 6: @ Collonie
MD 7: @ Total n Utter Insanity
MD 8: @ Nedalia
MD 9: off day (practice in Cana)
MD10: @ Emperor Pudu
MD11: @ Canabinol
MD12: v Blitzwehr (@ Grand Free State International Playing Grounds, Provincetown)
MD13: v Collonie (@ Island Clan Stadia, Palace Heights)
MD14: v Total n Utter Insanity (@ Southampton National Square)

The big test for the Kodiaks will be how they handle a six game road run place between two homestands. A lot could also do with how the team does against the clubs it should beat - Emperor Pudu, Canabinol and Blitzwehr. While Nedalia and Collonie will be interesting games (and possibly tricky with the road swing) and TnUI will be difficult, many Chicanadan pundits have the club easily finishing within the top 3. Cana Daily, Capital Standard and ChicanadaSun all went on a limb with the Kodiaks winning the group, Ashley Standard and Northern Star (Kinsington) agreeing with the CFA and the Rabbler with a second place finish and Stocy City News and Canal+ (the channel hosting the tourney for the Kodiaks) saying a third place finish, being ousted by Collonie (SCN) or Nedalia (Canal). Of course, everyone has TnUI penciled in as a qualifier, so maybe some suprises can happen in a group that looks on paper rather workable to qualify from.

To commemorate the start of World Cup 28, poet laureate Constant Motion emerged with a haiku for the visitors.

Ca-ta-doo-a-nes
Coming to Warpstone tonight
It's the World Cup. Woo!

"We really need a new Poet Laureate," sighed His Majesty.

***

It was a special atmosphere at the Warplands. Hope was high after the Cup of Harmony run that took the Swifts all the way to the final.

But it was an even harder task to qualify for the World Cup.

Cataduanes had narrowly missed out on the previous finals and had taken Wentland to the limit in the semi. Now they were in Warpstone for their first visit to Akbaria - and they were Up For It.

http://images.icnetwork.co.uk/upl/icbirmingham/mar2006/9/2/00064DBD-A313-1416-AEC10C02AC1BF824.jpg
The Warplands

Wentland lined up with their new-look first choice team:


1 Francis Derrington - the veteran Heathen was still only 32; had never entirely convinced in goal but was better than the alternatives. At the moment.

2 Ian Talbot - one of the Crowhurst mafia, consistent and unobtrusive at right back.


3 Ray Jarvis - Blackport firebrand; the young Docker notorious for his verbals, with three red cards for dissent last season.


4 Blake Wright
5 Steve Moon - an odd couple, Wright venomous and Moon quiet, but forming a decent pairing at international level.


7 Adey Loder - bombing down the wing to feed the 3 man forward line at Crowhurst, he has adapted well to the 4-4-2 at international level.


6 John Capper - called into the squad after the tragic death of George Hardwick; still making goals for Redstoke, the veteran surely in his last World Cup.


10 Joe Weston - another Heathen, ever-present in World Cups and still not 30.


11 Cosmo Kent - the master of the Swerving Dip Shot is at home in the Warplands and is sure to get a warm welcome.


8 Frankie Treves - the greatest player in Wentland history and only 25, forming a devastating partnership with Tommy Barnes.


9 Tommy Barnes - the svengali behind the Crowhurst team, on the pitch all he can do is score goals - off it he has one of the sharpest brains in the game.

***

Game ON.

MONASTIC TIMES

MONASTIC FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION ACCEPTS FRIENDLY OFFER FROM CASARI
MFA Also Apologise to Liverpool England

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

The Monastic Football Association today accepted an offer of home and away friendlies against the Catholic schismatics of Casari, with the first leg to be played directly after the Starblaydia-New Montreal States friendly at the Dreamed Stadium in what MFA officials are calling 'a fantastic opportunity to fine-tune our preparations for the tournament proper'.

A senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity, assured the collected media (both of us) that the acceptance of a 'friendly' against Casari did not mean that the Holy Synod was slipping into the sin of false ecumenicism. "Use of the term 'friendly' does not in any way imply we look upon their doctrinal errors with favour - we haven't forgotten the Fourth Crusade, either - but better Catholics than atheists."

The MFA also apologised to Liverpool England for being forced to turn down their kind offer of a friendly, with officials noting that no insult was intended, and that Casari had simply asked first via telegram.

SCORES ARE NOW POSTED

MD 1 scores link (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=10852089#post10852089)

[Krytenia's RP was included in the MD 1 bonus]

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png
Eel Meet Again
by Rami Niblick in Avidia

An old rival reappears from te distant past; and new friends join the fun. Group Fifteen is, by manager Phillip Neasden's own admission, "niiiiiiiice!" but those thinking this will be an easy ride should getout of that habit now; the Aces din't get where they are today by taking teams for granted. Here's the SP on the six opponents Kryteni will face in the qualifying stage.

Group 15
KRYTENIA (18)
Bys MD1 and MD8
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/krytenia.jpg

An exciting mix of youth and experience will be trying to top this group; Neasden's brand of swift passing football will almost certainly please the neutral fans, and sartorial connoisseurs will be glad to see thereturn of the quartered shirts.

TURORI (24)
MD7 (H) and MD14 (A)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/turori.jpg

They haven't met for almost half a century, but the Eels have never lost to the Aces. The Vilitan colony's star has faded in recent championships though; the Krytenians must capitalise. Oh, and brown shirts?!? Sack the stylist.

THE LOWLAND CLANS (42)
MD6 (H) and MD13 (A)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/the_lowland_clans.jpg

The Clans have improved back to a level near their previous heights over the last few years. Krytenia should make the most of their home encounter; the white and navy clad Clans could snatch a point at their place though.

TYNELIA (71)
MD5 (A) and MD12 (H)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/east_timor.jpg
A more recent addition to the NSWC bosom, the Tynelians will be hoping to cause a few scares in their second cup. Could cause a few ructions; unlikely to grab a qualifying berth though.

ALGAL STATES (103)
MD1 (A) and MD8 (H)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/canada--53.jpg
Were little trouble for the Aces eight years ago; expect more of the same here for the Great Dichotomy.

TALMERIA (193)
MD3 (A) and MD10 (H)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/talmeria.jpg
Rather anonymous. Six points.

GEISENFRIED (187)
MD4 (A) and MD11 (H)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/geisenfried.jpg
The Golden Eagles they may be, but there'll be nothing golden in their two matches with the Aces. Six points.

BRANSTONE ANNOUNCES LINEUP FOR BLADES-PALADINS FRIENDLY

News of doubleheader changes absolutely nothing

THE ARCHREGIMANCY - William Branstone, pulling a fast one on the even-vigilant Presse-Journal Devoir, has managed to move his entire team through a variety of portals into the Archregimancy, where they are practicing for their friendly against the Men in Mauve and accomadating themselves to the Dreamed Realm.

A lineup was handed to a senior prelate who had taken a vow of silence, and this was all the press got:

Coach: William Branstone - Audioslavian exile hounded out of a job after attempting to take over the Bulls side during WC24 fell into a vacancy in NMS and has grown along with the program. Not much for patience.

GK 11 Paul Chasson, age 24 - Branstone will be sending in the front-liners to get them some real-match experience before playing in the actual Cup, and this solid if somewhat streaky keeper will continue to protect the net better than a squad of White Rangers.

GK 44 Tomas Beaujeu, age 20 - Keeping for the Pages on their surprise run to a fourth-place spot in the U21s has earned his the right to keep a spot warm on the bench for the big boys.

---------------------------------------------------

D 2 Yannic Laurier, age 22 - Not like the NMS puts any importance on defense, so he gets to keep his spot from last tourney in the hope that four years of life have seasoned him up.

D 10 Jean-Marie Laporte, age 18 - Another callup from the U21s should provide an improvement over the ineffectual-even-by-NMS-back-standards Pierre St-Simard.

D 15 Pierre St-Simard, age 20 - But he's not that ineffectual.

D 00 Olivier Gaston - Still honked at Laporte for taking his jersey number, but it's not like Gaston earned it.

---------------------------------------------------

MF 6 Charles Pilon, age 23 - Failure to contain Menecrates doesn't make him any less of a genius quarterback of the midfield.

MF 8 Petr Hunyadi, age 17 - Another U21, earning his place with a combination of 4 goals, 5 assists and a defensive job that would be a credit to a brick wall.

MF 39 Marc Tessier, age 19 - Listens to Audioslavian hard rock and has let it sink to the depths of his very angry being. Also can play brilliantly when he's calm enough. Branstone will keep him on a very short leash, as his tendancy towards pugilism has gotten the side in trouble before.

MF 40 Jacques Toussaint, age 24 - Along with Pilon, anchors what has become one of the finest midfields in the world. Only discernable weakness is an inability to be at all parts of the field at once (and that's not for lack of effort, either.)

MF 49 Hugh Faulkner, age 22 - Converted from forward to midfield for the Inviyattii as Branstone wanted to put his offensive talents to some use other than keeping a spot warm on the bench. Shaky defense, but decent speed and killer instincts in the opponent's third.

MF 55 Paul Chan, age 20 - undersized speedster returns from solid WC27 performance. Quick to adapt to opponent's changes in tactics.

Midfield Reserves - No bios, except that everyone has time in the Inviyattii or U21s (except Gordon) under their belt, and Gordon, Miller and Yates all saw significant playing time in WC27 (all have at least 19 caps.) Fabrice is the younger brother of Hubert Labranche.

MF 7 Fabrice Labranche, age 17
MF 9 Andy Gordon, age 24
MF 15 Jesse Miller, age 21
MF 41 Phillip Yates, age 23
MF 56 Joey Jasper, age 18
MF 87 Albany Plattsburgh, age 19

---------------------------------------------------

F 1 Gilles Villeneuve, age 21 - team captain and point man for the offense. Rapidly becoming one of the finest forwards in the world. Imaginative and aggressive play around the net combined with superb athleticism make him a force to be reckoned with.

F 99 Hubert Labranche, age 22 - plays well with Villeneuve, each can create opportunities for the other as well as for themselves. More disciplined approach to scoring than Villeneuve, and somewhat better on defense as well.

Forward Reserves - please note that Hugh Faulkner is actually the third forward (he'd move up in the 2-6-2 and a sub would be sent in the midfield) if anything should happen to Villeneuve or Labranche.

F 22 Andre Darcy - great talent, but like Hugh Faulkner before him gets stuck in the shadow of Villneneuve and Labranche.

F 70 Jack Basset - see above.

All D
St Happenin and New-Lexington battlet to a 0-0 tie this afternoon in a game that dissapointed many New-Lexington fans. "It was a lackluster performance on the offensive side, but defensivley i think we're one of the best teams out there" commented manager Chris Fryland. New-Lexington played the majority of the game without their best scorer Trevor Trudeau who was redcarded in the third minute after delivering a kick to the face to a St Happenin player. Trudeau was unavaliable for comment. New-Lexington will face off again tomorrow, and all of us here at New-Lexington sports weekly wish them good luck Go Kings!!!

"Away holds no fears" by Nev Gould

First Match in the 28th World Cup brings first points to the Bazalopes against the Bazalopes closest rivals in their entire history. That team is Magnus Valerius ranked only 1 place behind the Bazalopes Magnus Valerius is closest team on paper that the Bazalopes have ever played against and the match was a close match with the Bazalopes barely getting the 2nd goal that gave them the win.

The first goal was by Peter "Wolfie" Hobble assisted by Anthony Creek in the 23rd minute. The Bazalopes had made their way to near their opponents goal mouth but where having a hard time getting through their opponents defenses, this was when the ball was passed back to Anthony. He was on the wings and saw that the Magnus Valerius team had left Peter Hobble un-guarded. A critical mistake and so Anthony made a quick pass to Hobble which took the attack and scored the goal. The ball going under the diving keeper.

16 minutes later in the 39th minute they equalised with an amazing play that left the Bazalope defense napping allowing them to score a goal and equalise. However both teams defense strengthened themselves and the rest of the match was quite boring as soccer matches go appart from the yellow carding incident involving Andrew 'The Bandit' Creek. However the resulting penalty was taken by the Bazalope keeper. Jeffery Constantine.

It seemed the match would end in a draw until James Kantwell was fouled in the goal box in the dying minutes, allegations of Faking where made by the opposing team but the umpire stayed firm with his decision. Awarding James a penalty shot at goal. The James took the shot and the ball just clipped the tip of the keepers fingers but the keeper was unable to control the ball with just the fingertips and the ball went into the back of the net.

Final score Magnus Valerius 1 - Bazalonia 2. The hosts of the world cup have refused to release the group table but with our calcuations the Table is

Group 12
#1 Cataduanes - Played:1, Won:1, Drew: 0, Lost:0, GF:2, GA:0, GD:2, Pts:3
#2 Bazalonia - Played:1, Won:1, Drew:0, Lost:0, GF:2, GA:1, GD:1, Pts: 3
#3 New-Lexington - Played:1, Won:0, Drew:1, Lost:0, GF:0, GA:0, GD:0, Pts:1
#3 St Happenin - Played:1, Won:0, Drew:1, Lost:0, GF:0, GA:0, GD:0, Pts:1
#5 Fmjpheonix - Played:0, Won:0, Drew:0, Lost:0, GF:0, GA:0, GD:0, Pts:0
#6 Magnus Valerius - Played:1, Won:0, Drew:0, Lost:1,GF:1, GA:2, GD:-1, pts:0
#7 Wentland - Played:1, Won:0, Drew:0, Lost:1,GF:0, GA:2, GD:-2, pts:0

A Loss! Shocking

SOMEWHERE IN NARBITHIA- Virginia Nova's first expeirience in the world stage got of to a poor start. They loss 2-0 to a weak albiet home team from Narbithia. 22 Minutes into the game A Narbthian player dashed out to the left, got control of the ball and kicked it. The ball looked to to go wide left but at the last second the ball got blown by a strong gust of wind and blew the ball in the goal. A simalar situation plagued the Eagles TWICE!!!!. The other goal was scored on a simple misdirection kick.Next Up for the Eagles is Rordia. A team we expect to contend with.

<The ARFA Sports logo and theme music play on the Television Then it goes to the normal darkened studio with 2 figures sitting at a desk>
"Welcome to ARFA Sports - Your Strongest Sports News Around. I'm Charles" - Charles

"And I'm Darwin welcome to the ARFA Sports Coverage of the 28th World Cup. Today we're looking at the Archeopteri's first match against Apologetic Kittens." - Darwin

"This match no-one really expected the Archeopteri to win, with Apologetic Kittens being 32 ranks ahead of them, but they certainly came close with the scoreline being Atheistic Right 0 - Apologetic Kittens 1 at Natural Stadium. Let's look at the only goal. It was in the 51st minute of the match."

<Enrique Monroe had the ball and is aggressively moving into the Archeopteri half. He gets challenged by Bull but he passes the ball towards Anton "Ant" Aultman, another midfielder. Bull still tackles Enrique earning himself a yellow card. However Anton is still progressing up the field up with the ball, manouvering around the Atheistic Right Defenders. He passes it towards the young Kitten striker Daniel Leichter, he kicked the ball powerfully from 20 metres away right infront of the goal. No Atheistic Right defender managed to react in time and the ball sailed into the back of the neck. Frog attempted to use his longer than ordinary hands as his amazing standing jumps but the ball flew over the top and landed in the back of the net.>

"Despite loosing we had a great chance to score but unfortunately the Apologetic Kittens where too strong in their defense. Let's have a look at that now." - Darwin

<Kangaroo had the ball and her long strides made a quick strike into the Kitten terrirtory she passed it to Puma who continued the strike and using the tackles made by defenders against them, he nearly lost the ball to the Captain Lee Roberts but he recovered the ball quickly. And made a strike attempt at the goal it was a good shot and was heading for the top right corner of the goal if it was not for some interferance by Centre back, Edward Kiefe deflecting the ball to give Atheistic Right a far corner, which was soon snapped up by the Captain despite his age>

"That pretty much all we can say on the subject of Atheistic Right's match against Apologetic Kittens. But we now bring you fresh results from the Emperor Pudu vs. Collonie match. Emperor Pudu despite being 35 ranks below Collonie beat the aggressors today keeping them scoreless while scoring a goal themselves." - Charles

"When at the level that Collonie is a loss like this is a big thing, and I am predicting a terrible time for them this World Cup. Expect Collonie to go down... alot." - Darwin

"I'm Charles." - Charles

"And I'm Darwin and Remember, ARFA Sports - Your Strongest Sports News Around, still on ARAF News & Entertainment network." - Darwin

the studio faded and went on to 3rd favourite show in all of Atheistic Right. "Who wants to be an Immigrant?"

Haraki were in Nouvelle Angleterre for an away game against the opposition, and which Llyd Vargas characterized as 'A good chance to get warmed up' in international play, mostly for the sake of the fact that Haraki's sports analysts were predicting an easy win. Technically his full quote was "If I believed everything the media said about this game and this team, I'd think this was just a good chance to get warmed up," but it was misquoted enough by different news sources after the game that he was given an unjust reputation as a coach who didn't respect his opponents.

Regardless, the team took the field in high spirits. Despite more than disappointing results in the Cup of Harmony and the Draggonnii Inviyattii, they felt they were a good team that could make a good splash.

The Hawks lost the kickoff but managed to turn over the ball with a nice steal by midfield and star ball handler Julie Vern. The ball carried on being taken by each opposing team, gradually working its way down the field towards Nouvelle Angleterre's end until finally a short pass from Thomas Neils up to Samuel Sharp culminated in the first goal of the game at eighteen minutes.

The rest of the half passed without major incident, with Nouvelle Angleterre trying desperately to tie the game going into the half, but defence by the three defence veterans from World Cup XXVII and goalkeeping by HFL star Mark Stone was enough to stop all offensive drives. The half ended with Haraki up by only one goal, although not for lack of trying to rack up more points.

During half, Vargas gave enough of a speech to fill a small book, and so the Hawks took the field once more with fire in their eyes and ready to make some goals. Although none of their shots made it for some time, the Nouvelle Angleterre goalkeeper on top form for some time, and they even managed to start a good offensive drive that ended with a shot against Mark Stone which he caught and kicked back out to Mike Zendar on the far right wing, who took off on a breakaway, deking out one midfield covering him, and leaving only one defenceman between him and the goal. He managed to make a kick right past him, sprint around behind him, and get the ball again, leaving nothing but the keeper between him and the goal. There was no chance of him missing. A high kick slotted it right into the corner, and gave Haraki a two goal lead just before seventy minutes.

The Hawks carried on playing, but the other team's defence managed to stop them from making any more goals. By ninety minutes, they had secured a solid shutout victory to put them at the head of the group - for the time being.

Haraki 2 - Nouvelle Angleterre 0

Sharp (18)
Zendar (68)

Alasdair I Frosticus 2 Iksonic 0

Some residents of ordinary physical reality apparently had the following dream last night. The Holy Empire Football Association hereby apologises for any inconvenience or distress caused.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Basil!"

"Theo!"

"I thought you'd retired!"

"I thought you'd retired!"

"Well, I thought we'd both retired. Again."

"Apparently not! Apparently we're going to have more comebacks than Frank Sinatra!"

"He's dead, Basil."

"Bad example then. But apparently getting kicked out of Cockbill Street after that whole Urk nastiness in the last qualifying match of WC 25 isn't enough to keep a semi-legendary commentary team from the earliest days of the World Cup down."

"So what have you got for us today, Basil?"

"The Holy Empire against some bunch of unknowns called.... ummm..... Iksonic, apparently."

"Who?"

"My thoughts exactly, Theo..... but let's look back at some of the highlights...."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

[first half]

"....her sister's lesbian lover , a plate of spaghetti, and an international rugby squad!"

"I'll just interrupt that hilarious anecdote, Basil, to actually look at what's happening on the pitch...."

"Do we have to?"

"'Fraid so - it's in the contract. Anyway, with 15 minutes gone, this bunch of unknowns from Iksonic are really struggling against the Tzimisces Dream Simulacra. Tzimisces passes to Tzimisces, who sends it through to Tzimisces. A lovely overlapping 1-2 with Tzimisces, Tzimisces shoots! Tzimisces scores! A goal for Tzimisces!"

"Which one?"

"Ermmmmm..... number 9. I think. Maybe"

[later, in the second half....]

"....knockers! Great big knockers I say!"

"Yes, I agree that the Imperial palace's entrance gates need some renovation, Basil, but I think a bell would be much more suitable than whopping great big door knockers. They're very impractical"

"So you say, but just get a couple of Imperial guardsmen, and.... what's happening on the pitch by the way?"

"Oh, that's right.... I'd completely forgotten about the football match, what with your sparkling wit to keep me company again after all these years. Ermmmm, let's see, 65 minutes gone, score still 1-0, Iksonic still crap, and..... why, look at that! Tzimisces just scored!"

"Which one?"

"How the hell should I know? Anyway, getting back to the question of renovating the Imperial palace.... Bells or knockers? I was supporting bells, right?....."

--------------------

"And that's how it ended, Theo! 2-0 to our lot, thanks to goals from a couple of Tzimisces. Or maybe the same one. Hard to tell, really."

"It's been great to be back in the studio with you Basil. Now let's go and act
irresponsibly somewhere. Just for the hell of it. Just like the old days!"

"You old rogue you..... It's like we've never been away...."

Alexandria Times-Tribune-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Inquirer

Sports Section

Milchama get big win over the Zucchinis

While some might say it is a little early in the campaign to talk about big wins and losses anytime you're up against a team with a close ranking to you and trying to pip you for a qualifying spot in the World Cup it is indeed a big win. The Milchama Warriors experienced this sensation today when they beat Giant Zucchini 3-2 in the first game of World Cup qualifying. Coach Jamie Smith said, "We did very well today. Our offense played up to their potential and the defense showed some holes but we did enough. Anyway we always do better the second half of qualifying and getting this result in the first game is always good. Also Johnny Rintell will now be in the starting lineup." Now onto the match report:

The Warriors were on the offensive from the beginning as Floren Albentine and Spot Nielson started to attack the Zucchini defense. The attacks were good but not penetrating enough and the counter attacks from the Zucchinis looked to be deadly but Casey Stockholm, who played brilliantly in his A team debut, stopped several attacks from Johann Rilke to keep the level at 0-0. The Zucchinis seemed well prepared for the Warrior attack and the attack/counter attack made it an exciting with lots of fast play and very little rest for the weary as the game was like a swinging pentulum with no stops. The fast play was destined to soon find a goal and it was the Warriors who struck first when Casey Stockholm found Elana Kilinin dashing up the wing. Kilinin's pace beat Gimeno and Albom before she released J.J. Faren for a wide open shot which he didn't miss to make it 1-0 Milchama. Only 3 minutes later it was equalized though when after a nice pass from Pablo Perez found Yoshikatsu Nakamura unmarked just outside the box. Nakamura took two dribbles before unleashing a powerful shot that didn't give Clay Finton a chance to save. The score was 1-1 and that continued until halftime.

The second half started much in the same vein of the first half with both the Warriors and Zucchinis running around and creating good chances at both ends. The game soon started to turn the Warriors way after an exhausted Antoine Sanchez was subbed out and Johnny Rintell was put in. Rintell soon began to get possesion to the Warriors and create chances. His runs soon put Milchama in a good position to score a second and they did in the 58th minute when Rintell found Floren Albentine who scored his first World Cup goal to make it 2-1 Milchama. This time though the Zucchinis were not able to respond so quickly as Milchama contineud pressure them and get the ball. Rintell almost scored himself 7 minutes later and his pass to find Dunston Copperlee should have had him score but Copperlee just missed high. Then it was 3-1 after Rintell chose not to pass but score himself in the 70th minute. The 3-1 scoreline did not bother the Zucchinis however as they made a valiant comback effort and almost scored in the 75th minute when Wayne Carragher beat Mills Thompson to the ball on the wing unfortunately his shot was less than stellar and it went to Thompson. The Zucchinis did pull one back before the end though as Rilke finally got free from Casey Stockholm and put a wonderful shot in to make it 3-2 Milchama.

Final Score:
Milchama 3 (Faren 32, Albentine 58, Rintell 70)
Giant Zucchini 2 (Nakamura 35, Rilke 88)

Raging Penguins Report;
They lost in their WC debut 1-0 to The Emperialist. DMYS and Furious Porridge played well in the loss.

Milchama Man of the Match:
Johnny Rintell- His play opened up the offense for the Warriors in the second half and he finally played himself back into the starting lineup. If he can keep up his exciting and good oppurtunity making the Warriors will have a wonderful campaign.

Woodstock Daily Mail

Stars try to avoid fall from grace

by Ryan Calvin
Daily Mail Columnist

By all rights, Dave Wilson ought to be a man who should be sitting back with a glass of his drink of Blue Fox Ale and enjoying a retirement as the greatest coach in Sarzonian national team history. He should be enjoying the fact that he coached his teams to two AOCAF titles, one World Cup championship, two Draggonnii Inviyattii titles, and a Cup of Harmony title.

But Wilson is nothing if he's not completely driven. Even with his sense of humour still intact, he coaches his teams like he has something to prove. To hear him talk, he has.

"We are not the same team that finished 1-0-2 in our group," Wilson insists. "This team played like a team without an identity for a long time and we need to get back to playing our brand of football and playing well when it counts."

Sarzonia ran roughshod over a World Cup qualifying group, finishing without a loss or a draw in 16 matches. However, Wilson is still disappointed with his team over their losses to The Kazoo Peoples and Casari that rendered their win over Rejistania meaningless.

Even though the roster hasn't changed, Wilson said the team's training regimen would be "drastically different." He emphasised that he would expect forward Kevin Wilson, the team's pick for captain once again, to take a more vocal role with the team. He also said midfielder Jenna Raven "has to assume the vocal role like I know she can."

Whether Sarzonia advances past a group that includes Milchama and Giant Zucchini, this much is certain: Times will certainly be different in Sarzonia after years of being among the absolute elite of the footballing world.

"We're going to have to set ourselves apart the way we did to get to the number one ranking," Raven said. "That was working harder than anyone else and showing a lot of determination. We can get back to where we belong, but we've got to stamp out any complacency."

The Dreamed Stadium, Pantaleimon, The Archregimancy

"Coach, how long do you plan to keep key players such as Chasson and Villeneuve in...sweet Mother of God, what was THAT?"

Yes, it was an unusual day for the Presse-Journal Devoir reporter and the 40000 die-hard Paladins fans brave enough to make the trek into a Dreamed Realm trying to adapt to a sudden influx of outsiders. Events such as, say, a reporter's notebook suddenly morphing into a copy of The Joshua Tree were fairly commonplace.

A passing monk turned to glare at the reporter who had used the Theotokos's name in vain, only to be distracted when his beard morphed into a fetching shade of vermillion and his hat turned from a monastic "lampshade" into a Beaconsfield Athletic tuque.

Soon enough, the appointed time came for the national anthems to be played. The monks of the Archregimancy were going to try something that pushed the limits of dream-based technology - they were going to stage the opening ceremonies in a replica of the Hagia Sophia (before the minarets were added, of course.) Everyone entered and stood as the NMS and the Starblaydia anthems were played. Then everyone groaned as they realized that the host nation's national anthem would be played as well, as a token of thanks to their generosity in going to the bother of hosting.

"Blessed is the Kingdom of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, now and even and unto ages of ages..."

Two hours later the moment of truth had arrived. Could the monks do the change without disturbing the masses too much? Sure enough, they pulled it off, abeit with one minor catch - pews, rather than benches, were provided for the spectators to sit on. However, as the wood was much more comfortable than the usual freezing metal benches, nobody was inclined to complain, and small patches of cheer went up supporting the innovation.

Kickoff time, and the States players were sure they held an ace in the hole - they were, for the most part, used to the liturgy. Standing for two hours straight isn't easy on anyone, even a national football side. Then the entire Starblaydi side jogged off their field, while another set of players jogged on. Someone with more than the average run of foresight had hired stunt doubles to stand through the liturgy for them, while the team hid outside the building! As a chorus of boos from the NMS side and peals of laughter and applause rained down from the mauve-clad half of the bleachers an archpriest who looked mildly displeased with the whole ruse dropped the ball, and the match was on.

Branstone had run out his full starting side, just to see how they would hold up under the pressure of a match against a world number 3, and wasn't disappointed. Tolkacheva was out on the field, as was most of the defense and midfield. The Paladins were playing their usual style of defense, so it was fortunate that Chasson was displaying his usual brilliance in the net. After 30 minutes Branstone decided that his keeper was in top shape and threw U21 keeper and projected number 2 Tomas Beaujeu to the wolves.

Not two minutes after the substitution, a Tolkacheva conversion on a cross-the-net pass left Beaujeu looking like he had just got out of bed. A second Starblaydi goal that left Beaujeu completely in the dust had 40,000 men, women and children in blue and silver waiting for Branstone to pop his collar and send Beaujeu to the sidelines, to the showers, or back to his mother's place in Angiers.

Instead, Branstone calmly told his goaltender that all would be well if he just buckled down, and then yanked both his backs and gave them a thorough talking-to. And the half wound down with the States in a 2-0 hole.

After the half, a perfectly calm Branstone strode out onto the sideline, head held high, and watched Hugh Faulkner and Gilles Villeneuve play off each other in the box until Faulkner got sick of the game and poked one into the net to cut the Blades lead down to one.

As Tolkacheva and Ajaccio (swapped in at the half to gain valuable experience) charged downfield, the Paladins defense mounted their usual valient effort at parrying it. As Tolkacheva got off a wide-open shot, Beaujeu, his face an image of nigh-perfect calm, leapt up and caught the shot, to ecstatic cheers from the Paladins fans. He then kicked it downfielder to Fabrice Labranche, who found his brother Hubert waiting patiently by the net for an equalizer.

Two-all, and both sides were slowly amping up the level of play from "no-stakes friendly" to "Cup quarterfinals." Starters from both sides were thrown into the mix, and attack and counterattack were launched and repelled with berserker fury.

Durum Rage, to whom one of the most impossible taks in football had been assigned, showed himself to be worthy of the spot, almost single-handedly blunting a Paladins drive, and clearing it downfield. Two minutes later, he was there with the header after Johan Keifner bounced one off the crossbar.

Starblaydia dropped back, practicing their holding defense, which was the one thing found wanting today. Jaime Oberlander, coming off the bench to try and get the defense to coalesce into something ressembling a lead-protection unit, found himself plagued by miscommunications in the midfield and Rage's annoying tendancy to get himself out of position trying to mount a counterattack. One of these occasions resulted in the sole World-Cup-worthy play by an NMS back, in which Pierre St-Simard knocked the ball loose from an out-of-position Rage, sending it to Gilles Villeneuve downfield for an equalizer with 15 seconds left on the clock.

In a post-match interview, coach Branstone commented: "Well, I suppose there's a bit of a learning curve between the U21s and the 3rd-ranked side in the world. Tomas turned in a fine day's work, as did the rest of our side. Except our defense, but, eh, we're not Rejistania here. We can go into drills with out heads held high." Beaujeu said that "I'm going to have to step up and deal with that kind of play day in, day out up here."

All sides left the match with something they wanted: the NMS, a small measure of redemption and proof that no qualifiers doesn't mean the side'll slack off, the Starblaydis, an assurance that their team can still run with anyone in the world, and the Archregimancy, the knowledge that the Dreamed Realm's stability can hold under the massive influx of incomers. For instance, all the while that I've been typing this article, I've seen remarkably little vector utopia corpulent fieldmouse dk kd dk kd dk kd dk kd dk kd dk kd ;;;,?!

At the bottom of the page, the reporter scribbled:

"A monkey materialized and began banging away on my laptop, then playing with my spellcheck."

And below that:

PALADINS 3 (Faulkner 54, Labranche 68, Villeneuve 89)
STARBLAYDIA 3 (Tolkacheva 31, Noble 34, Rage 80)

Qazox City Herald

A "SPEEDY" START

Qazox began its quest for World Cup 28 by beating Anastasiania 2-0 on the road. With much fanfare in Anastasiania for thier first ever WC qualifier, the Black Oxen had to wait an additional 20 minutes after the scheduled start time before the match began.

Once the match began, the Black Oxen's experience showed as their revamped offensive attack stuck quickly as Alicia “Speedy” Gonzalez scored just 6 minutes into the match, quieting the home crowd. the rest of the first half saw Qazox pressuring the inexperienced Anastasianian defence, but nothing came of it as the home squad played above their talent.

The second half was evenly matched as both teams couldn't maintain a constistant attack. In the 83rd minute, an unknown Anastasianian defender was given a yellow card for an illegal substitution as he failed to report to the referee. On the ensuing free kick, Jaime Bookman lofted a beautiful kick towards the goal, and just before the Anastasianian keep could punch it clear, Alicia Gonzalez, headed home to give Qazox the 2-nil lead. The last 7 minutes saw Anastasiania pressure Reggie Hassok, but he kept all the shots hew faced out of the net, as he picked up his first international shutout.

Match Stats
Goals-
Alicia Gonzalez-(2) 6,84

Cards-
Anastasiania-84th



Other matches in Group 5
The Islands of Qutar 0-Legalese 1
Zorinia 4-The Remote Islands 2

Current Standings after Match Day 1

Team W-D-L Pts GF GA GD
Zorina 1-0-0 3 4 2 +2
Qazox 1-0-0 3 2 0 +2
Legalese 1-0-0 3 1 0 +1
Audioslavia 0-0-0 0 0 0 0
The Islands of Qutar 0-0-1 0 0 1 -1
The Remote Islands 0-0-1 0 2 4 -2
Anastasiania 0-0-1 0 0 2 -2

Up next for Qazox is a trip to Zorinia, which should be a test of the Black Oxen's defence as Zorinia scored 4 gaols in its opening match.

Spaam Sports Weekly
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

At Least We Didn't Lose

In a battle of the walking frames, Spaam hosted Ariddia in the first match of
qualifying for World Cup XVIII at Artanis National Stadium. Fans expected
some high class football, and were pumped up after an entertaining ulek by
the Ariddians. It was always going to be a contest between the Ariddian
attack and the Spaamanian defense, but it was Spaam's top female striker,
Melyor Trewin, who struck the first blow, sending the home team ahead in the
40th minute. The second half saw the Ariddians pressure the Waffles, and
they looked like coming home with the win, until Frédéric Clément evened the
game in the 80th minute. That was the way the game ended, a great night
of football, but giving Spaam some work to do in the coming games.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/spaam.jpg 1:1 http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/ariddia.jpg
Spaam: 8 Trewin 40
Ariddia: 8 Clément 80

Group 8

Rejistania starts their campaign a week later as they have the bye this week.
The Spaamanian double header disappointed, as the Spaamanian Plijous went
down to Elrich 1-2. Alan Belmore scored the only goal for the Gulls, while
Tomas Gomez got the double for Elrich. And the final match of the week saw
The Emperialist win at home against the Raging Penguins, one to nil.

Next week sees Spaam have the bye, which means they'll be hosting
Schiavonia in a not-so-friendly friendly. Expect some brutal football, and
watch out for the dogs. Spaamanian Plijous get another home game, but will
expect to be trounced by 4 time world champs Rejistania. Ariddia will get
their first home game by hosting a team of psychopathic penguins, and The
Emperialist hosts Elrich in a game that noone expects to hear anything about.

Team P W D L GF GA GD PT PG G%
The Emperialist 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3 3.0 100
Elrich 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3 3.0 67
Ariddia 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1.0 50
Spaam 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1.0 50
Spaamanian Plijous 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0 0.0 33
Raging Penguins 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0 0.0 0
Rejistania 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 - -



1 Spaam 1:1 Ariddia
2 BYE
3 Spaam ?:? Spaamanian Plijous
4 Spaam ?:? The Emperialist
5 Raging Penguins ?:? Spaam
6 Elrich ?:? Spaam
7 Rejistania ?:? Spaam
8 Ariddia ?:? Spaam
9 BYE
10 Spaamanian Plijous ?:? Spaam
11 The Emperialist ?:? Spaam
12 Spaam ?:? Raging Penguins
13 Spaam ?:? Elrich
14 Spaam ?:? Rejistania

http://bellsouthpwp.net/h/a/harleyt_1387/bsd_banner.png

The BSD's obligatory flag-filled qualifying preview article
(albeit slightly late)

RHIEN-KHIEN-A -- Well, okay, this article has nothing to do with Rhien-khien-a. But then again, it doesn't really have to do with any specific location, now does it? Pretty much we just threw a dart at a map of Bedistan (http://bellsouthpwp.net/h/a/harleyt_1387/BedistanAOMap.png), and it landed at Rhien-khien-a, a relatively obscure (to those outside Bedistan) city south of Columbia, north of Hendersonburg, and west of Port Lusambo. So there's your lesson in Bedistani geography for today.

Anyway, here's your preview, as promised.

http://www.prism.gatech.edu/~gth681k/wc28/BedistanFlag.png
Bedistan
rank: 1st
1st place: WC21, WC26, WC27
2nd place: WC8, WC16
3rd place: WC13, WC22
WC27: Champions
WC26: Champions
WC25: 2nd round (lost to Squornshelous, 3-3 AET, 4-5 pens)
Hmm...defending back-to-back champions and ranked number one in the world. Oh, and they're us, which counts for even more. Can the Lions be the first to win three Cups in a row?

http://www.prism.gatech.edu/~gth681k/wc28/HypocriaFlag.png
Hypocria
rank: 36th
WC27: Did not qualify (3rd/9, Group 4; lost to Milchama in playoff, 0-2)
WC26: Did not qualify (5th/7, Group 12)
WC25: Did not qualify (4th/10, Group 4)
Has Hypocria really never qualified? Well, don't be fooled. Last time around, they came closer than ever before, and you heard it here first - Hypocria's finishing second in the group this time.

http://www.prism.gatech.edu/~gth681k/wc28/RordiaFlag.png
Rordia
rank: 46th
WC27: Did not qualify (4th/9, Group 6)
WC26: Did not qualify (3rd/7, Group 15)
WC25: Did not qualify (10th/10, Group 1)
Another decent team that will probably be challenging Hypocria until the very end, but they'll fall short and wind up third or fourth.

http://www.prism.gatech.edu/~gth681k/wc28/AnathematicRepublicsFlag.png
Anathematic Republics
rank: 58th
WC27: Did not qualify (3rd/9, Group 5; lost to Praying2God in playoff, 1-2)
WC26: Did not qualify (6th/7, Group 11)
WC25: Did not participate
Look for them to end up third or fourth, pretty much neck and neck with Rordia.

http://www.prism.gatech.edu/~gth681k/wc28/NebuleuxFlag.png
Nebuleux
rank: 113th
WC27: Did not qualify (9th/9, Group 5)
WC26: Did not participate
Failed to impress last Cup, but they should at least be able to lift themselves out of the wooden spoon slot this time.

http://www.prism.gatech.edu/~gth681k/wc28/NarbithiaFlag.png
Narbithia
rank: 156th
WC27: Did not participate
Unknown.

http://www.prism.gatech.edu/~gth681k/wc28/VirginiaNovaFlag.png
Virginia Nova
unranked
WC27: Did not participate
Unknown.

So there you go. Bedistan will pwn all, and Hypocria will get to go to the big dance for the first time. Pretty simple, really.

Geisenfried Athletic
Geisenfried's Top Sports Network

"...and good luck to the Lancers in the AORBC playoffs."

"Now, we go to World Cup 28. We just got the final results in from Talmeria, and Geisenfried gets its first World Cup victory, a 1-0 win in what would otherwise be a rather unremarkable game. Here we go to the footage of the lone score..."

--"We're about 2 thirds of the way through the first half folks, Talmeria with the ball, there's a pass... intercepted by Hausen. Dumps it off to Baehr. Baehr moves up, lob pass up to Genz, he's got it... two defenders on him, crosses to Wolfe... GOAL! Hard shot into the upper left corner straight off the cross from Genz, Talmeria keeper can't get to it. Golden Eagles up 1-0, in the 31st minute."--

"Alright, there you have it. Now we bring in our analyst, Johann Klayton. Johann, what do you think about this game was for our national team?"

"Well, definitely a start on the right foot. On the defensive end, Hausen and the Klintzsch brothers played well, didn't really see any tough challenges on Ackermann. If Geisenfried is going to be a cinderella story, these guys need to do make sure they can continue a strong level like this for players that are much better than what we faced today. As for the offense, Wolfe played well, with alright performances for the rest. In all, a step in the right direction, but if Geisenfried wants anything special to come out of this tournament, they'll have to step it up a notch with the better teams."

"Thanks, Johann. Here's the summary of the match, as well as the standings for group number 15 and the remaining World Cup schedule. Geisenfried's next match will be away at the Lowland Clans."


Geisenfried: 1
Talmeria: 0
Wolfe- 31' (GSF)


Division 15
-------------------------------------------------
Team Name: P W D L Pts GF GA GD
-------------------------------------------------
Geisenfried: 1 1 0 0 3 1 0 1
The Lowland Clans: 1 1 0 0 3 3 2 1
Tynelia: 1 1 0 0 3 1 0 1
Krytenia: 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Algal States: 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 -1
Talmeria: 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 -1
Turori: 1 0 0 1 0 2 3 -1



Schedule
Geisenfried 1-0 Talmeria
Geisenfried at The Lowland Clans
Geisenfried at Tynelia
Krytenia at Geisenfried
Turori at Geisenfried
Geisenfried at Algal States
Bye
Talmeria at Geisenfried
The Lowland Clans at Geisenfried
Tynelia at Geisenfried
Geisenfried at Krytenia
Geisenfried at Turori
Algal States at Geisenfried
Bye

Fjootbjallesupdat Molvanja

Molvania in Cup Debut
A buzz of excitement was in the air as downtown Lutenblaag began to fill up with people attending Molvania's first ever world cup match, against Alberthame. They found the Lutenstaad, where all of Molvania's home matches will be played, gaily decorated in Red and Yellow banners. The festivities planned before the match were to include several local musical groups playing outside the entry gates as well as a flyover by the entire Molvnian Airforce: three MiG-29 Fulcrums.

Immediately following this display by our military, the match kicked off. Molvania took control of the ball and the spectators cheered as their team began its quest for glory. Initially, both teams playe cautiously, unsure of each other's skill, but soon, Molvania began to attack, using exellent passing in midfield and in the 23rd minute, Viordar "Cze" Czervkle scored Molvania's first World Cup goal. The resulting cheer was deafening, in both a figurative and literal sense, as one of Alberthame's bench players had to be taken to the dressing room to staunch some bleeding from his left ear. Unfortunately, the Molvanian players were so distracted by their success that they allowed Alberthame to take control of the match, and just before the half, they scored the equalizer.

As the teams retreated to the dressing room, the fans were about to be treated to entertainment almost as great as the half match they had witnessed. Some even thought it more so, due to the scoreline. Molvania's foremost musical star: Zladko “Zlad” Vladcik appeared on a stage quickly put together in the middle of the field, complete with his trademark mullet, silver flightsuit and aviator glasses. He waved to the cheering crowd and pitched into his newest hit "Elektronik - Supersonik".

He finished up and the stage was dismantled just in time for the players to come out and begin the second half. Molvania had recovered from their lapse, and played solid defense the rest of the way. However, they couldn't do anything to get past the Alberthame defenders, who were also playing with excellent concentration. Eventually, time and the number of shots taken took its toll on our opponent, and Cze struck again, banging one in off the crossbar for his second goal, with just five minutes to go. Our players were careful not to allow a respnding goal this time, and after 3 minutes of stoppage time, the final whistle sounded and the end of game fireworks display that had been prepared in the event of a Molvanian Victory was let loose.

Photo Time
http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2004-12/13/xin_381201131338243260367.jpg
The Molvanian Airforce is the smallest in the entire world.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v629/squorn/Zlad.jpg
Zlad in all his glory.
Electronik - Supersonik Music Video (http://www.molvania.com/video_medium_2.html)
http://www.fireworks.co.uk/images/plymouth1t.jpg
Fireworks fill the sky after our win.

Unicorns Look Foolish In Opener

Queen Sonya sat alone, as usual, but this time she was angry. Very Angry. The plan had been to come into this WC and prove that last time’s upsets the Unicorns had pulled off were no fluke despite horrid performances in the CoH and the DI. And the table was set perfectly for the Mystical Unicorns to do just that.

Beginning play at home against the squad you hope to move past in the standings should be a dream for any side to look at. But that dream was in reality a nightmare as things did not go according to plan.

The first half had given the Queen, and every fan as well, reason to be happy. The Unicorns scored twice in that opening half (Altáriël Telperiën 21, 32) but the defense gave away two as well. The halftime break saw the sides in a deadlock.

Then came the second half, and that is where the trouble began. The Unicorn squad that took the pitch was not the same as the one that left it just minutes before. Oh, it was the same players, but they seemed to be asleep. It could even be said that they expected to win the match without having to try. And they were wrong. D2R scored twice more in the second half as D&S failed to accomplish anything besides looking rather foolish. And that is the way it would end- D&S 2-4 D2R.

Queen Sonya seriously considered firing the whole damn lot of idiots for a moment or two. But then she thought better of it. The next match would see them play host to world #2 Liverpool England. It was better to let them get completely embarrassed. Then extra training sessions would ensure they did not make the mistakes of this match again. And if so………….All practice - All the time. They would hate that.

After spending an incalculable amount of time transporting, Hamad found himself in the middle of nowhere.

'Damn, the continuum must have a transportation scrambler on' he thought as he took out his Quadra-corder(TM) and scanned the area.

'This can't be right,' he muttered, 'accordign to this, I'm on the site of Qazox City, but there's nothing here.'

He punched in a few commands into the Quadra-corder(TM) and after a couple of minutes of processing the machine gave him a shocking answer.

"Im in 880 CE (982 AD RL) and the nearest tribe is 500 miles away? SHIIIIIT, that transportationscramble must have sent me back in time....Wait.. with my knowledge of the future, I could take over here and prevent the Colonization of Qazox by the White Man, but if i do that, then I could cease to exist, as it was due to them that i got transported into the future...Damn temporal laws."

(ooc: This story is about a native Qazian who somehow got transported 1500 years into Qazox' future, steals a time ship and due to his temporal shock, believes that he is a God and plots his revenge on 'modern Qazox'. he accidently gets sent 1200years too far back and the rest will play out over the qualifing... stay tuned.. unless i just bored ya... and it will impact the Black Oxen somehow....)

RORDIA - DESTINATION NMS
Part 2: Rordia Lose First Match

Rordia lost 2-1 against Hypocria in their first match of the World Cup 28 qualifying campaign. But the scoreline doesn't tell the whole story, as Hypocria totally dominated the match.
Rordia got off to the worst of starts, as they conceded a goal in the 5th minute. After the goal, defender Peter McMenahan argued to the referee that the goal was offside, but all he got was a red card. Manager Neil van der Wal was livid with the referee, and later said: "That ref is not capable of taking charge of internationals. That goal was a definite offside, and the fact that he sent off McMenahan... he's not a referee at all. He's a nutter."
Van der Wal can expect a huge fine for that outburst, and Rordia fans will be wishing that he had the power to fine his players. Their below-par performance in this match disgraced this proud country.
Back to the game now, and Hypocria made it 2-0 in the 63rd minute, thanks to an own goal from Samuel Craig. Rordia pegged a goal back three minutes later. The scorer was not the unstoppable Tim Brick, but it was Freddie Monaghan. Despite Monaghan's goal, the Rordians start the World Cup 28 qualifying campaign without a point.
Rordia are at home to Virginia Nova in their next match. The newcomers lost 2-0 to Narbithia in their first match, but they are confident of beating us. Neil van der Wal laughed off the Eagles' chances, and said: "Has their manager watched any of our games?"

OTHER RESULTS:
Nebuleux 0 Anathematic Republics 0
Narbithia 2 Virginia Nova 0

Final whistle. Off the pitch. Into the dressing room.

Wright was first there. Then Loder, who hurled his boots into a corner. Then a distraught Kent. Then Jarvis, blaspheming loudly.

Black car drives on through the town...

Derrington came in and collapsed onto a bench, head in hands. The other players looked away.

Talbot came in, staring, unblinking. Then Smith.

Some guy from the top estate...

Weston came in and kicked a kit-bag.

Then Bluff, who surveyed the wreckage.

The silence was broken by John Capper. "How's Frankie?"

"Broken leg. He'll miss the next few games."

Left a note for a local girl...

Tommy Barnes came in and sat next to Loder and Talbot. A few players glanced in their direction and then glanced away.

Steve Moon limped in supported by Brissen. He was not well either.

Had it all on a plate...

Still silence. Derrington seemed to be sobbing. One or two players looked at him.

Bluff said a few words. "One game, lads, just one game."

Derrington looked up. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry...I should have punched it."

"Never mind, Francis," said Bluff. "These things happen."

More silence.

This is how it feels to be lonely...

Capper spoke quietly. "It'll be OK. I promise. It could be a lot worse."

Wright burst forward. "We lose 2-0 to our nearest rivals? We're bottom of the group? We've lost our star striker to a broken leg? How could it be worse?"

Capper did not answer straight away, but looked calmly, coldly, steadfastly into his eyes. "Trust me."

Wright subsided.

Derrington still had not looked up.

This is how it feels to be small...

More silence.

And more silence.

This is how it feels when your world means nothing at all...

Radke 0 Northern Caesarea 0

1. Cuellar **
2.Ferrer ***
4.Capdevilla ****
15. Molinero ***
3. Sergi 0
14. Caminero *
13. Vizcaíno *
8. Ibagaza (m.68) *****
6. Colsa ***
23. Salmerón **
9. Torres *

Called in
7. Narváez (m.68) *

Booked:
Yellow: Molinero

Northern Caesarea has managed to get a 0-0 tie in its first Wc28 match but the match seen at the Radke stadium must make think the national coach, Paco Antequera, about the kind of game he wants the Tricolores to be known .

The team came across in a shy, defensive way. Molinero, sometimes with his caractheristic brutality, and Capdevilla twarthed the Radkeans tentatives to score. Cuéllar had not to work very much, with much of the job made by the central defenders and Ferrer.

If the defense was solid, we cannot say the same about the midfield, totally sold to the radkean team. Only Colsa, at the left wing, and Ibagaza, in one of the best matches of his carreer, proved to have ideas to approach the rivals goal. Vizcaíno and Caminero were totally absent for a great part of the match.

But, the forwards were totally uncapable of take profit of the Colsa and Ibagaza passes and tackles. Salmerón and a mediocre Torres were totally kidnapped by the defense. The incorporation of Narváez, remplacing Ibagaza at minute 68, didn't changed anything, leaving Colsa alone in the darkness.

The result: one precious point and time to make changes to the team.

Other results in the Group 13

Spruitland 2 Pastorville 0
Atheistic Right 0 Apologetic Kittens 1

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg

Our Wins Aren't Pretty
But A Win is a Win

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from Stadii Se Draggonnii Arcea.

WC28 Qualification got underway today as Kericia made the journey to ASMV for MD1. This was the match at the top of the list for many Vegans as Kericia is the squad that perhaps has the best chance of moving past us and into the WC proper.

And from the play, everyone could tell that both sides knew exactly the implications of the match, even at this early stage. Defense dominated throughout, and the Sea Dragons only score came in the 34th minute as newly promoted starter Jenni Ulrich found Pablo Iglesias alone at the edge of the box with a defender severely out of position. The resulting shot actually nailed the Kerician keeper in the face before trickling in for the score. And that is all it would take. The renowned ASMV defense proved itself once again, as Shaun Conarky earned his first clean sheet of the campaign. ASMV 1-0 Kericia.

MD 2 will see the Sea Dragons travel to Milchama for a friendly match against the Warriors. MD 9 will see the other end of that friendly series played at Inferii Domei in Tua Monafu

The next WC28 match will be on MD3 as ASMV plays host to upstarts Boudra-Boudra. They are a side full of energy and will need all of that to get a chance to beat us at home.

Now let’s see how our footballing friends fared on MD1.

Hypocria downed Rordia 2-1
D&S lost a shameful match to D2R 2-4
Cuation put up a grand fight as Bettia escaped them 4-3
Ariddia earned a 1-1 draw with hated Spaam
And Milchama edged Giant Zucchini 3-2
Tadjikistan did not play as they had a bye date.

Protection for the Tadjiks

Following upon a terrorist strike against guests of the Royal Wesenhause Hotel in Andossa Se Mitrin Vega among whom were more than 200 Tadjiks, General Loncar, chieff of the Glavnoye Razvedovatel'noye Upravlenie(Main Intelligence Administration) was ordered to provide the Tadjik national football team with protection in the form of bodyguards. Eventhough the Atheistic Right Archeopteri team bus later crashed killing everyone but a VDF guard inside, the Glavnoye Razvedovatel'noye Upravlenie remained suspicious of anyone from that nation.
General Budimir Loncar explained: 'The Atheistic Right team sucked anyway, so the people behind that terrorist attack may just have caused that too. Police investigation showed that someone had sabotaged the brakes, maybe they wanted to get rid of possible witnesses. In any case, our guards will be around 24/24 to check the places our players are sent to and protect them. They'll be at the sideline and throughout the stadium where the next match will be played.'

Some wondered how this could protect civilians joining their team as supporters but the Generals [logical] response was that 'We cannot post our people in every bar and street in Atheistic Right, we can only try to give our supporters some proper guidelines to avoid danger. We have already done our best to get as many supporters as we can into the hotel of the national team or any hotel nearby where we can keep an eye on. Furthermore we would like to advice them to keep their stay in Atheistic Right as short as possible, they should only go to the Atheistic Right - Tadjikistan match and then straight back to Dushanbe.'
General Loncar refused to give anymore comment on the situation with Atheistic Right :'We are still investigating this case, only when he know everything we need to, will we take action and inform the public. But do not worry, if there is a threat, you will be warned of it.'

MONASTIC TIMES

HOLY SYNOD BANS MOLVANIAN SUPERSTAR
Zlad Not Welcome if Nation Qualifies

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

The Holy Synod today announced the excommunication of Molvanian music superstar Zladko Vladcik from the Holy Orthodox Church and a ban on his music within the Archregimancy following the release of his new single 'I am the Anti-Pope' (http://www.jetlagtravel.com/molvania/antipope_medium.html), the follow-up to his regional aluminium hit single 'Electronik Supersonik'.

"It's precisely this sort of trash that's corrupting the youth of today!" Said a senior archimandriate, speaking on condition of anonymity. "I mean, it's not as if we have a problem with Orthodox youth writing about how the Pope of Rome is a schismatic heretic in league with Freemasonry, but hanging crucifixes upside down while proclaiming your own readiness to be the Anti-Pope while embracing the Number of the Beast... Well, that's a little much."

The Holy Synod is said to be particularly concerned at such lyrics as

"He laughs to the Devil, he takes aim at Death
And he strikes down the enemy who takes one last breath.
But too early the victor makes his victory roar.
He may win this battle, but he not win the war.
For, yes, Beelzebub the First is set fire to then crucifixxed.
But next Anti-Pope is Zladko the 666th"

Sources close to the Monastic Football Association have, however, noted that Molvania's chances of actually qualifying are so remote that the excommunication of Mr. Vladcik and the ban on his music should have little to no impact on the tournament proper.

WORLD CUP XXVIII PREVIEW

It's time for WC XXVIII folks, and Warriors fans know what that means. We get to make yet another attempt to advance past the group stage for the first time...assuming we qualify, that is. However, one would like to assume that qualifying will not be nearly as challenging a prospect as it has been in the last two WCs, as the Warriors have a comfortable margain over the third-ranked team in the group. Who is that and who else do the Warriors play? Let's take a look:


Starblaydia (ranked 3rd): The Warriors have never met Starblaydia before, but they have played against the 3rd best team in the world before...and came out with a pair of 0-3 defeats. Of course, that was Crystilakere back in WC XX, and the Warriors weren't nearly as good then as they are now. Still, Starblaydia is not going to be an easy team to score on, never mind beat. The big question of the matches may prove to be: Can Starblaydia find a way to score on Sarah Larson? Starblaydia will cruise through this group easier than a knife through hot butter. Prediction: 1st.

Praying2God (27th): After consecutive exits in the group play stage and fresh off a runner-up finish in the recently concluded inaugural FIFA Cup of Nations, the Warriors are hungry to get over the hump and into the 2nd Round. This group sets up well for the Warriors as long as they don't get overconfident and play down to their opponents. Getting off to a strong start will be crucial. The Warriors should definitely make a return to the group play stage in WC XXVIII. Prediction: 2nd.

Harlesburg (57th): The nation of Harlesburg is not an unfamiliar one to any Warriors sports fan, as the Warriors have met Harlesburg on both the soccer field and the basketball court, with the basketball court being far kinder to the Warriors as the Warriors stunned the basketball world by upseting top-ranked Harlesburg in the semifinals on their way to winning their only World Cup of Basketball tournament. However, Harlesburg beat-up on the Warriors in CoH XVI, though at the time Harlesburg was ranked 32nd and the Warriors 82nd. Ironically, the fiasco otherwise known as CoH XVI was hosted by the co-hosts of WC XXVIII, New Montreal States and The Archregimancy. Harlesburg is on it's way down, and is unlikely to give the Warriors a serious threat for a qualifying position. The WC XXVIII opener in the House of Prayer should offer a good indication of how serious Harlesburg's chances are. Prediction: 4th.

Vuam and Isma (75th): A relative newcomer to the WC, they've had some degree of success to be comfortably in the top-100 in the world entering WC XXVIII. However, they should prove to be little threat to the Warriors, and have to be concerned about Georgeonia behind them. Prediction: 5th.

Georgeonia (89th): While relatively new to the WC scene, they could cause some headaches for the Warriors. The Warriors will also be out to avenge their allies, Pastorville, whom were swept out of any hopes of contention for their first ever qualification finish by a 211th ranked Georgeonia in WC XXVII. These matches will likely be either really close or really lopsided, we're anticipating really close. Somebody has to make a run at playing the spoiler after all. Prediction: 3rd.

Duana Hills (148th): Now a shell of the team that nearly pulled off a stunning qualification for WC XXV, before withdrawing from CoH XVII on Praying2God soil to allow The Lowland Clans to participate. They have hardly made a peep on the world stage since. They won't make much noise here either. Prediction: 6th.

Gaspland (205th): Newcomers to the WC are in for a rude awakening in this group. They will find it very hard to earn any points in this group. Prediction: 7th.

WARRIORS MAKE HAMBURGERS OF HARLESBURG
Warriors cruise to an opening match win

The Praying2God Warriors certainly wasted no time in proving that they intend to qualify for WC XXVIII, making mincemeat out of the team that was supposed to be their biggest obstacle to qualifying, Harlesburg, by a final score of 3-0. The Warriors definitely came out ready to play, as Thomas Larson took a clearing pass from his wife, Sarah, after an overaggressive attack by Harlesburg in the 21st minute and turned it into a breakaway goal to open the scoring. In the 34th minute, Thomas didn't have the angle for a shot and made the backpass to Brittany Law, who made the most of her first opportunity of this WC to make it 2-0, which was the score at halftime. Then in the 51st minute, Sarah Toliver's head found itself on the receiving end of a cross from Kylie Holly on a Warriors' counter-attack, providing the Warriors with the 3-0 margain of victory. Ryan Stone, Linda Storm, and Nicole Small came on as substitutions for the Warriors after they took the 3-0 lead and did quite well. Sarah Larson made six saves for 30th WC shutout for the Warriors. The Warriors now get some time off before facing the dark horse pick in the group, Georgeonia in the House of Prayer.

SAINTS OUTSPIRITED BY SPRUITLAND

The Pastorville Saints clearly did not have the energy that their 21st ranked opponents from Spruitland did yesterday, losing 0-2 as they kicked-off their attempt to qualify for the WC finals for the first time after a near miss in WC XXVII. The Saints are the third-ranked team in their group, but are unlikely to qualify...at least if you listen to international media sources, which have the Saints finishing as low as 5th (and that publication nearly picked them to finish 6th!). Things get slightly easier for the Saints in their next match as 209th ranked (OOC: or unranked) Northern Caesarea comes to Pastorville.

Security Beefed Up Since Draggonnii Invititational - Ministery of External relations & War

More Stringent Security measures have been implemented to all visitors that enter Atheistic Right for World Cup Qualification matches will have to under go a number of security checks. This is in response to the deliberate tampering of the bus which was taking the Atheistic Right Archeopteri from their hotel to the Ariport for their flight home.

We have new security measures will require a longer turnaround for visa applications to attend the World Cup matches. Security at Natural Stadium and at all hotels frequented by foreigners will be stepped up and

We cannot guarantee protection but we are assuring the international community that all measures are being taken to ensure safety of foriegn nationals so that they can enjoy the world cup in comfort.

"Good morning to all of those Kittens fans who missed the recent World Cup Qualifying match against Atheistic Right. With me after every match will be the previous coach, Wilson"

Wilson - "Hello there, Chris"

Chris - "So what did you think of this last match?"

Wilson - "They've deviated from my formation, showing that Davis does have some tactical talent. Playing Aultman and Monroe behind Leichter. Leaving out Gronko was a bold move."

Chris - "And of course all three of them were involved in the goal. Monroe went down pretty hard "

Wilson - "Oh, it was an atrocious tackle. Very late. He deserved the card. I don't think the lad meant it, but it was terrible timing."

Chris - "Monroe hit the pass in time though"

Wilson - "And you'd expect him to. Aultman kept it well and once Leichter picked up the ball that close to goal there was only ever going to be on result."

Chris - "But the Kittens weren't the only team attacking"

Wilson - "Atheistic Right did have their chances. Reed was equal to them, though. And their best chance was quickly cleared by Roberts. At 35 it's a speed that surprised me. Don't remember him being that fast when I was coaching."

Chris - "But you coached a very different team"

Wilson - "Of course, many new faces. Todays scorer amongst them. And I certainly never had Newman patrolling that right wing. He can turn a match at any point."

Chris - "Thank you, and we hope you return following the next match. One match, three points, and a great start to qualifying."

In a change to our sheduled Schiavone Scribe RP, here we have bits from the 46FM commentary from the already fabled game against McPsychoville.

"Welcome to the King Francesco Stadium for tonight's match between Schiavonia and McPsychoville, I'm Terence Williams, with me is Schiavonia's Captain from World Cup 26 Mike Jones. Mike, there's been a bit of bad blood between the two sides in tonight's game."

Mike: "Yes, well it all started with some poor journalism by Winston Hardiman at the Schaivone Scribe, the Psychos took it to heart, and here is where we end up."

Terence: "You know what it's like in that dressing room. Will the Schiavone players be feeling the same way?"

Mike: "No way. They're the most level-headed bunch in World football. That's how they've managed to come so far so quickly."

Terence: "Well, the teams are coming out and, my, do the visitors look pumped up for this one!"

- - - - -

73 minutes

Terence: "Here comes Di Mascherenasi, lays it back out to Sanderson, goes to shoot... no dummies, now he pulls the triger... and he's been scythed down by Brooks, and this could see McPsychoville down to eight players."

Mike: "A stupid challenge... and it deserved just that!"

Terence: "A straight red card for PJ Brooks, who only came on as substitute ten minutes ago, and Sanderson will surely make it six from the spot... Yes he has."

- - - - -

Full-time

Terence: "Well, eventually the torture is over for McPsychoville. Three sent off, seven conceded, although you can't help but think that if their players had kept their discipline a little better, we could have had a closer game."

Mike: "Definately. They came here trying to intimidate the Schiavone team, and it backfired. They became frustrated that their plan wasn't working, and it ended up blowing right up in their faces."

Terence: "Well, we're on until eleven tonight, taking your calls on what has been a crazy night here at the King Francesco Sta... wait, is that who I think it is?"

Mike: "Looks like Michael Ford to me."

Terence: "It is. Michael Ford, former chief of hte SFF, is going up to... that's Winston Hardiman."

Mike: "Shall we go down and talk to them?"

Terence: "You go for it. Take a microphone, too!"

Mike: "OK then. Mr Ford, a word please... he's seen us... he's running away... he's gone under the stands, but I'm going to track him down... Mr Ford, what were you saying to Winston Hardiman just then?"

Terence: "Any luck?"

Mike: "Mr Ford... No, no luck at all."

Terence: "Well, I'm sure we'll be hearing more about this in the coming days and weeks. Maybe it might even sort itself out before the Spaam game. Anyway, while Mike gets back up here and stops for breath, we'll take a short break."

“Hello everyone and welcome to Tynelian Soccer Weekly’s full World Cup 28 qualification coverage. This is Sal Spikeman accompanied by Anna Dalespin. And for the first time in a long time we have good news to report right off the bat. Tynelia emerged victorious in its first match of the group stages defeating a familiar Algal States squad on the road by a 1-0 margin. You have to agree Anna, this is a pleasant change from past beginnings.”

“You’re right Sal, in fact now since the Baptism of Fire has Tynelia debuted with a win. More importantly for their confidence I think is that they actually scored in their first match, after suffering a rough start when they were shut out in all but one of their first five matches. Even though the Algal Sates were not considered one of the group favorites it is very encouraging to see Amy Whiteworth toss out a shutout hopefully putting a poor Dragonnii Inviayti showing behind her. A return to her last World Cup form will be a good sign for Tynelia.”

“Indeed it will Anna, and it’s interesting to point out also that Tynelia was the only higher seed to win its opening match. The Lowland Clans, whom you thought might be the sleeper pick to sneak in and claim the second qualifying spot, defeated the higher ranked Turori squad whom you did decide on by a 3-2 margin. Also the returning Geisenfried squad after not participating in Cup play for some time showed they haven’t forgotten how to play by edging Talmeria by a 1-0 score. Talmeria by the way will be Tynelia’s next opponent.”

“This could prove an interesting development Sal. For Tynelia to have any chance at advancing some of the teams ranked below them, as well as Tynelia themselves, need to steal points from the top three teams when they can. The Lowland Clans have shown again they are on their way up the international rankings and Geisenfried has shown they may surprise some people as well.”

“Well Anna, let’s look to the game facts themselves. The Algals have improved defensively since our last World Cup play when we scored three goals in both matches. With the homefield in their favor they gave Tynelia a serious run. A first half shutout was broken in minute 53 when Jay Masterson got his own rebound off a nice diving safe by the Algal keeper and fired it over the prone keeper. The rest of the match was back and forth but Tynelia was content to play ball control at that point and held on for the win. Neither side put too much pressure on net, Tynelia held a 10-8 edge in shots and 3-2 in quality tries. Time of possession however was in Tynelia’s favor by a six minute margin, especially in the second half where they actually controlled the ball by nearly ten minutes more than the Algal States.”

“This lack of shots might be a problem against the top teams Sal, but again the schedule makers have done Tynelia a favor here. With the three teams ranked below them being the first on the schedule it should give Tynelia a chance to get into a comfortable offensive flow before they go into their bye and come back against top seeded Krytenia.”

“This would be a good time to check out our newest feature, Coach’s Corner with Tynelia’s World Cup 27 and Cup of Harmony coach Marcus O’Meara. Welcome aboard Coach and what are your thoughts on the match.”

“Thanks Sal and Anna. You can see that this is clearly a case of a maturing team coming into its own. When I led the team last Cup most of the players had very little idea of what they were getting into. As a result they were tentative on the field and nerves were clearly a factor early on. Then the pressure to score after some early shutouts led to more mistakes. You’ll notice though that when the second half rolled around the team was feeling much more comfortable and did much better the second time around. What I saw this time was a team that knew what it was getting into and even more fortunate, they started off against a team they had beaten twice. You can’t imagine Sal how going up against a team that has never beaten you will help build confidence in a team. Now with a win under their belts I think they will continue to build their momentum these next two matches. And if we can get into the bye with three straight wins then the higher seeds might have to keep an eye out in their rear view mirrors because this team will feed off of that and be looking for any sign of weakness against the top squads.”

“That would be a great thing if the team can do it Coach. As any sports fan knows one a team gets on a roll good or bad it creates a life of its own and becomes almost unstoppable. But first they have to continue their solid play these next two matches or they’ll be in much tougher straights.”

“Right Sal, while on paper Tynelia will be playing the two lowest ranked squads in the group they have to, and hopefully Coach Tudor will remind them, that the lower ranked teams won two of the first three matches so take nothing for granted. While we know little about Talmeria they are certainly going to be fired up being at home and coming off a loss to the one team they would think they should have been able to beat. In a case like that it’s very hard to see how a relatively new team will respond. Being shutout will also add motivation for them to do better.”

“So you think this will be a close match then Anna?”

“I think Tynelia should win, probably by a similar 1-0 score as today’s win. Given that Tynelia will be on the road and are still stingy on defense I think this will be another low scoring affair but Tynelia should come out on top and start off 2-0-0 and then see which teams can keep up with them. In fact if The Lowland Clans and Geisenfried end up in a draw and Tynelia comes away with a win then for the first time ever in our brief soccer history Tynelia will find itself alone in first place in group play.”

“That’s a good point Anna, at worst case with a win we’ll be tied with one other team. However Tynelia still has to get that win first.”

“Correct Sal, all these scenarios are nice but the team needs to get the job done on the field first.”

“Ok then Anna. It looks like its time now for ‘Harmonie’s Hearsay’ with the lovely Harmonie Masterson.”

“Hi Sal! Hi Anna! Its it just SO great that snuggly-poo Jaykins got our winning goal today! I wish I was there with him to cheer him on and all but sometimes you just have to work and then wait til he comes back home when we play Gesuenheit <a faint cry of agony can be heard coming somewhere back where Anna is sitting>. Anyways here’s some more evidence of the super secret affair between Amy Whiteworth and Vladimar Malloy.”
<photo 1 appears after the game ends with Vladimar and Amy hugging on field after the whistle blows to end the match>

“See how happy they are together? I bet they’ll come out and tell us all by the end of the cup. Oh and there have been lots of people talking about all the ‘friendly’ matches that the teams that didn’t play today had…wait but if they didn’t play then how did they have a match?…. Anyway I bet there will be lots of couples coming out of the woodworks now that they all got to be friendly. But they all will have funny names so I don’t know if I should cover that story. Hey mr. director why are you cutting your throat with your hand like that?”

<camera mysteriously returns to Sal and Anna>

“Well thanks Harmonie for that interesting story. And look, that’s all the time we have for today. Tynelia next visits Talmeria before they begin the home portion of their Cup play. As always we’ll be here after the game for our insight and analysis on how our team fares in its attempt to qualify for the 28th World Cup. Until then this is Sal Spikeman for Anna Dalespin wishing everyone a good night.”

http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/3532/sbc34jz.gif

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/oglethorpia.jpg Oglethopia 0 - 1 Swilatia http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/swilatia.jpg

Well, the first game went on rather swimmingly, so it looks like the swilatian national football team might qualify for world cup 28. But I do not know if they will go any further then that. We do not have any chance at becoming champions in this cup at all.

Whatever. what were the scores?

we beat the team 1-0. this is one of the few times we beat a neutral team.

Maybe because they are a very bad team. after all, its in their squad whythehelldothoseguyscallitaroster that they are used to losing, and that usually means that it is a bad team.

Anyway I think I should tell how the match went. The match was rather uneventful. we got one goal past the team's defeses a few minutes before half-time.

Then, coming back from the half, Oglethorpia realised that if they did not score a goal within the remaining half, they would lose. however their offense wast just as terrible as their defense, so they did not score any goals.

In other news, it turns out that a certain musician was banned in the archregimancy. however we will not be stopped by some religious wacko's censorship, and if we qualify, we will bring the music in anyway as a protest against their retarded theocratic goverment.

I wonder, if what you said will start another international media controversity? I mean, remember world cup 27, when we always reffered to the archregimancy as religious wackos, and we angered other nations with what we said.

Well, not really. This time its more about their stupid theocractic laws, ratherthen the population. if the archrigemancy has a conston, then its probably just the bible with he word constition printed on it. And thats just not a real constitution.

Islanders Prevail

With a haze of acimony lying around this fixture the visiting Islanders entered the impressive 'Warpstone' stadium to face Wentland, the team that shattered Cataduano dreams in the last COH. Yet despite the thirst for revenge the islanders and the home side engaged in a match that was relatively free of major fouling.

With the Home supporters cheering there every pass Wentland utilized there attacking brand of football to good effect, however this state of affairs would end abruptly when Wentlands star, Frankie Treves, was stetchered off in the 44th minute. Without Treves the Home side look lost in the second half and where unable to convert any chances but to there credit they continued to pour forward looking to win this MD1 fixutre, but this strategy left them open at the back which played to Cataduanes counter attacking instincts and in the 62nd minute the Islanders went ahead with Armando Ribera's cross form the wing being converted by Butch Sacario. The sudden break and the goal left Wentland dazed and the Islanders began to turn the screw leading to a well worked second goal from Guarin in the 73rd,whose mazy 25 yeard run into the box was left unchallenged leading to Guarin slotting the ball into the bottom left corner of the net.
Wentlands vociferous support by this time was silenced and only the 300 odd Cataduanes fans who made the journey could be heard especially when the referee blew the final whistle.

Coach Manua was very please as can be seen by his comments post match
''Excellent result for us, we knew it would not be easy and the fact we have beaten them is brilliant, i must admit for many of us Cataduano's our exit at the last COH at the hands of Wentland was galling and this result goes some way to exorcising that defeat'' when prompted to comment on his teams performance ''we were good, the opposition put us under trmendous pressure in the first half and yet we did not buckle as we did durin gthr run up to WC27, we remained determined and kept our concentration on the task at hand, bascially its 3 points well earned''.

On matchday 2 the islanders travel to face lowly St. Happenin, who held New Lexington to 0-0 draw where the critics expect the Islanders to seal the 3 points.

* Weird TV theme *
A small Jewish girl stands in front of a soccer stadium

"Good morning JGN viewers, this is Rachel Goldstein reporting for JGN at the World Cup 28. Today Jeruselem didn't play and had the bye, so I am reporting from another Group 7 game. Andossa Se Mitrin Vega or better known as the sea dragons got their first points of World Cup. They defeated Kericia in a closely fought game where either team could have taken 3 points. It looks the Sea Dragons have started slowly but well. In other Group 7 games, Becquerelia beat Boudra-Boudra 1-0 as well. This was an expected result for this talented team. Rorysville beat Philthealbino , and the score was ... err ... oh, one - nil. So it's the one nil show in Group 7. Three teams with maximum point so Jeruselem is 4th on goal difference"

* Weirdo runs past with no pants on *

"Sorry about that. Drunks up here. Our beloved Lions won their first game - and an excellent win too. Nedalia beat none-other-than Chicanada 2-0. You can see the replay on JGN later tonight as there was no Jeruselem today. Oh, Hockey Canada fans will be bored today - no game for them either today."

* Idiot streaks again *

"Just hang on, fans"

* Kicks idiot in nuts, and gives him to police *

"Sorry, he was getting irritating. Tomorrow, Jeruselem play their first game but it looks like the favourites in Group 7 have started strongly. All won one nil, but it's only the beginning. As expected on JGN, replays of Jeruselem, Hockey Canada and Nedalia will be available as soon as possible. So joy for the Lions. Hopefully I'll be able to speak the Lions coach some time this World Cup. This is Rachel Goldstein for JGN at the World Cup 28. Shalom!"

Dear diary,

Ah man, losing sucks. Especially to lose in this way. I mean...the 89th minute! But that's what happens when you've got tired players trying to defend a 2-2 draw...you sort of miss the plot...I mean Kilinin should have had more pressure on her, then maybe her cross wouldn't have been so accurate...maybe they're scared of her because she's a girl. The problem with guys...they want to date her or something? Ah heck, no use brooding over it now...At least we put ourselves in a good position to win it. Would have been a great upset that...I mean the odds were for us, 2-0 up in 25 minutes...and it was not as if it was some sort of fluke...we were dominating! And 2-1 up at half time ain't so bad a score...Well, at least Yoshi played well...deserved his goal...

Ah well, I guess Jamie did his job with the substitutions...Maybe I should have read what he was trying to do with the subs made...but ah well...this is only my first match...can't be too hard on myself, just got to learn from my mistakes...hopefully I do better with more experience after a few more matches...Haiz...still got to analyse the match video...try to figure out what happened out there...haiz...tired...

D

Boudra-Boudra vs Becquerelia

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/boudra-boudra.jpg vs http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/becquerelia.jpg

BoF Winners Start Awful in WCQ Tournament!

With the team only just flown in from Legalese, where they had performed so successfully to win the Baptism of Fire tournament, coach Linus Gunfi-Pok decided to rest some of his tired players and use some of the newcomers. This however, would prove to result in a disastrous match, as Boudra-Boudra lost 0-1 in their first ever home game, in front of 72 000 unhappy fans, to a determined Becquerelia side. Coach Gunfi-Pok declared that "The new players should not be blamed, the team is still very tired due to number of matches they are currently playing. The fans will surely need to support us in our next game, at home against Jeruselem, the top seeds in the group. Hopefully the players can get some rest and maybe we can keep some points at home, but it won't be easy."

The final score:
Boudra-Boudra 0 - 1 Becquerelia

"Becquerelian player" '16,

The Boudran lineup:

Goalkeeper:
- Petr Fhinkzc

Defenders:
- Indridi-Ptô Burns
- Mark Oahp (out, 49 mins)
- Billy-Bob Stephenson

Midfielders:
- Rikke Gallucio (captain)
- Abraham Whiler
- John Böhm (out, 66 mins)
- Geert Boudra

Forwards:
- Arintz Efefefe-Ijlf
- Mikko Piminio (out, 59 mins)
- Malimbo Tar

Replacements:
- Hanz Buyakasha (Def, 49 mins)
- Sosimo Bradkorb (For, 59 mins)
- Bernardino Maria Eduardo Garcia de la Col Delgado (Mid, 66 mins)

Other MD1 Results in Group 7
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 1-0 Kericia
Rorysville 1-0 Philthealbino

The WCQ Schedule for Boudra-Boudra:
Matchday 1: Boudra-Boudra - Becquerelia 0-1
Matchday 2: Boudra-Boudra - Jeruselem
Matchday 3: Andossa Se Mitrin Vega - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 4: Kericia - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 5: Bye
Matchday 6: Boudra-Boudra - Philthealbino
Matchday 7: Boudra-Boudra - Rorysville
Matchday 8: Becquerelia - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 9: Jeruselem - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 10: Boudra-Boudra - Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Matchday 11: Boudra-Boudra - Kericia
Matchday 12: Bye
Matchday 13: Philthealbino - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 14: Rorysville - Boudra-Boudra

(Vuam and Isma reports arrive late! As usual!)


Raum 1 Sports at Eight.

Vuam and Isma play a 4-5-1 (http://img233.imageshack.us/img233/6582/4517un.jpg) with -1 for style modifier.

Starting 11 are Italicised.

Goalkeepers :
* Colm O'Connor : This young goalkeeper, only 22 is considered to be the backbone of Lesk FC's successful season. His presence in goal at barely 22 has lead him to be tagged as one of Vuam and Isma's future greats. During the CoH was extremely impressive, conceding only one goal. Colm's future at Lesk is however questioned, with Lesk allowing him to talk to the Nicksia Knights (Sarzonia). Last Season's Statistics (LSS) : 41 Games played, 36 Goals conceded, 5 Clean sheets, 0 Assists, and 9 Man of the Match awards. Current Team : Lesk. Date Of Birth (DOB) : 13/07
* Wayne Ivers : 28, and still solid, he'll probably not play much, as he's not quite as good as Colm. However, Wayne has pushed his way through the ranks of the V&I national side, and has been rewarded with the regular spot on the bench. LSS : 39 Games played, 48 Goals conceded, 7 Clean sheets, and 3 Man of the Match awards. Current Team : Jelluit Foutor. DOB : 22/03
* Palev Kerisnek : This goalie has been recieving appraisal for the last few seasons in the Toppleague thanks to his consistancy. However, he's part of a very defensive side, and hasn't ever been under pressure. Let's hope that he can continue on his good first few matches and really help us forget Strommstottir's retirement. LSS : 35 Games played, 37 Goals conceded, 8 Clean sheets, 1 Assist, 3 Man of the Match awards. Current Team : Dubrovnick CFC. DOB : 03/06

Defenders :
* Mounir Reguagui : Mounir is considered to be the backbone of Vuam and Isma's defence, with great command and excellent tactical vision. After a recent transfer between the Costa Dà Ackès' enemy brothers, Dingam-Gué and Dingam-Roh, Reguagui's gung-ho playing style saw him rewarded with a domestic cup, as Dingam-Roh beat Kediri in the Vuam and Isma cup final. LSS : 33 Games played, 2 Goal, 4 Assists, 5 Yellow cards, 0 Red card, 4 Man of the Match awards. Current team : Dingam-Roh. DOB : 24/11
* Icham S'baa : 32 this year, but still as fleet of foot as when he was 21, Icham's part in Vuam and Isma's cup run promises to be very important. Capped 49 times so far for Vuam and Isma, he's still looking for his first goal, but his mazy running down the wing will torment more than one winger, that's for sure. LSS : 30 Games played, 2 Goal, 11 Assists, 2 Yellow cards, 1 Red card, 3 Man of the Match awards. Current team : Jelluit Foutor. DOB : 21/08
* Roman Brasiviev : Roman has turned into one of the finest defendres of Vuam and Isma, and this 28 year-old has been such an impact over the last seasons for Agaña that the Nicksia Knights (Sarzonia) have bidded for him. If you want our opinion, he'll be gone before the end of the tournament! LSS : 31 Games played, 6 Goals, 2 Assists, 3 Yellow cards, 0 Red card, 7 Man of the Match awards. Current team : Agaña. DOB : 14/12
* Sett Marc : Dubbed 'The Chao Lee Prodigy', Sett's composure is astonishing for a 23 year-old. One of the most technical defenders that play in the Topplig, he'll be wanting to make his 'Marc' on this tournament. Marc's contract is coming to it's term soon, and there's a big chance that he'll leave Vientiane to seek glory. LSS : 32 Games played, 4 Goals, 2 Assists, 7 Yellow cards, 0 Red card, 4 Man of the Match awards. Current team : Vientiane FC. DOB : 02/08
* Victor Niederberger : A regular for Hiron, Victor has matured into a great all-round defender. After a good season with Alfared, he has now got to show that he's really world class. LSS : 28 Games played, 0 Goal, 3 Assists, 4 Yellow cards, 0 Red card, 2 Man of the Match award. Current team : Alfared. DOB : 18/01
* Dermov Ichtaa : An untested player on the international scene, he was chosen ahead of some more experienced players with the hope that this 19 year-old will mature quickly through top-level matches, and improve into a very good player. Ichtaa will be hard-working as always, but has admitted that to be leaving alongside players such as Brasiviev and Regragui "scares" him. LSS : 29 Games played, 1 Goal, 2 Assists, 6 Yellow cards, 0 Red cards, 1 Man of the Match award. Current team : St Blasien. DOB : 02/01
* Ismaël Rodriguez : Ismaël was only part of the squad because of the injury to Chdone, and has recognised that his part in Vuam and Isma's run will probably be very small. However, his excellent tactical and strategical capacities bill him as a player who could turn a match around should he get onto the pitch. LSS : 24 Games played, 0 Goal, 0 Assists, 1 Yellow cards, 0 Red cards, 0 Man of the Match award. Current team : Patan RS. DOB : 06/10

Midfielders :
* Yakit 'Yak' Yakkad : Gudjon know that Yak will perform, season in like season out. He's been at Gudjon all of 9 years since he turned pro at 17, and his performances just never let him down. Amongst other nicknames, he's called 'The conductor' and 'Destribuetor' for his cool passing play that brings the Madjedskay Park faithful to their feet. Before leaving for the World Cup, he insisted that Vuam and Isma only have one objective : Qualification, no matter what the cost. LSS : 30 Games played, 6 Goal, 11 Assists, 0 Yellow card, 0 Red card, 5 Man of the Match awards. Current team : Gudjon. DOB : 30/04
* Harrp Dinamyque : Harrp is one of the few players to have not played for one or two outfits in the Topplig, but 5. When he started out, playing for Dingam-Roh, he was thought to never be able to break into the starting eleven, and was sold to sworn rivals Dingam-Gué for a measly 50,000 Ghis. However, he revealed himself to be an illuminating midfielder in the Black and Yellow hoops, and has since played for Lesk, Alfared and Hiron before coming back to Dingam-Gué, where he's considered to be the midfeld dynamo that creates single-handedly all of Dingam-Gué's offensive play. In the run-up to this world cup, he's been one of the most wanted players on the transfer market, with the Pylos Reavers (Hypocria), and the Portland Timbers (Sazrzonia) hot in the bidding. LSS : 23 Games played, 6 Goal, 12 Assists, 3 Yellow cards, 0 Red card, 4 Man of the Match awards. Current team : Dingam-Gué. DOB : 12/10
* Stefan Grak : Only 24, and already part of Lesk's unstoppable attack force, this dazzling winger will surely be one of Scarab's keys to unlock opposing defences. Grak has become a far more reliable player as the years have gone by, and will hope to unleash more power than previously this time round for Vuam and Isma. LSS : 35 Games played, 8 Goal, 4 Assists, 3 Yellow cards, 0 Red card, 3 Man of the Match awards. Current team : Lesk. DOB : 09/08
* Exclamatio Lidon : Few can argue that seeing Lidon's dummies has been the best part of the season for Manang Marsiandi fans. A rather dissapointing mid-table finish for 'Il Plasicaos' will leave them bemoaning their lack of firepower up front, and the 28 year-old's relative lack of offensive support. Lidon has been unsettled by media comments that say he could be left on the bench should he not be at his best, and is determined to prove that his place in the starting eleven is unquestionable. LSS : 27 Games played, 4 Goal, 8 Assists, 2 Yellow cards, 0 Red card, 5 Man of the Match awards. Current team : Manang Marsiandi. DOB : 21/10
* Stuart O'Driscoll : After a short abroad stint, Stuart O'Driscoll has returned to Alfared. Returning halfway through the season made his place in the side hard to find, but he pulled some great matches out of his boots, and proved he was not going to be a miss for Alfared. LSS : 29 Games played, 9 Goals, 3 Assists, 4 Yellow cards, 0 Red cards, 6 Man of the Match awards. Current team : Alfared. DOB : 01/05
* Peter Searle : Who could think that this man played in the Eredivie? Not us. Great tactical vision, and a pinpoint-pass ability make him one of the hearbeats of the Topplig, as he drums Mikkeli Station's hearbeat. LSS : 24 Games played, 4 Goals, 7 Assists, 0 Yellow cards, 0 Red cards, 2 Man of the Match awards. Current team : Mikkeli Station. DOB : 21/12
* Jorgé Clay : Quickly turning into more than just a good young player, Clay has shown his talent to the Topplig, keeping Chuna up two seasons running, dispite every pundit saying they didn't have a chance. LSS : 37 Games played, 8 Goals, 11 Assists, 2 Yellow cards, 0 Red cards, 6 Man of the Match awards. Current team : Chuna. DOB : 23/06
* Emmanuel DiBrandi : Although he is 32, this is the first time he'll be in a world cup squad. This season, he made impressive matches for Lo Pan, raising the usual relegation battlers to the forefront of the Topplig. He said that it was all down to one thing : no injuries. All through his career, DiBrandi has spent more time on the stretcher than on the field, and it looks like he's finally unleasing the talent that's hidden in him. LSS : 28 Games played, 6 Goals, 13 Assists, 1 Yellow cards, 0 Red cards, 9 Man of the Match awards. Current team : Lo Pan. DOB : 23/06


Attackers :
* Stephen Fitzsimons : Only a few years ago, this kid was an incredible find. Two goals on his debut, and an impressive total of 24 goals in the league for his first season put him down as one to watch. Since then, he's only been getting better. 29 the second season, 32 the third, and last season, a record-breaking 34 goals. What a pity to have to see him leave for Sarzonia, to play with the Woodstock Wild... LSS : 37 Games played, 34 Goals, 4 Assists, 2 Yellow cards, 0 Red cards, 15 Man of the Match awards. Current team : Lesk (Transfer agreed with Woodstock Wild). DOB : 07/10
* Robert O'Beirne : Dingam-Roh's main man, Robert O'Beirne knows that at 31 he's one of the 'ancients' in the squad, and we're sure that he'll do all he can to show us that he'll not be pushed aside by the next generation without a fight. An impressive playmaker who's not scared to come deep to fetch the ball, he knows that his main power is his head, as he shows season after season that he can make good use of his 194 cm. After a difficult season following a hamstring injury that kept him out for 7 matches, O'Beirne was one of the few to travel to Nova Virginia for the Ukron Commonwealth-Dominion Cup. And he made sure his name was on the list, netting 3 and creating 2 goals in 5 matches. LSS : 24 Games played, 15 Goals, 2 Assists, 4 Yellow cards, 0 Red cards, 2 Man of the Match awards. Current team : Dingam-Roh. DOB : 23/01
* Sifiso Masilela : He claims he's the fastest player to ever wear the White and Azure, and who could blame him! Even though he's often criticised for his lack of constancy, if Sifiso can pull of a series of good matches, then most opposing defenders won't see more of him than a mere blur, followed by the ball in the back of their net. He's been more reliable this season, and has been helped by the players who have joined his club, such as O'Driscoll. However, he still just misses too many shots, and was relegated to the bench for a while after an abysmall match against then leaders Dingam-Roh, where he missed 17 shots. LSS : 26 Games played, 11 Goals, 3 Assists, 2 Yellow cards, 0 Red cards, 1 Man of the Match awards. Current team : Alfared. DOB : 23/01
* Fahd Ghauri : A constant striker, Ghauri was forced to battle hard for a regular first-team place in the Lesk satring line-up. However, being able to play any position in midfield and attack, he became the Lesk 'Super Sub', netting 8 goals in the last 5 minutes of play. Already billed as Vuam and Isma's secret weapon due to the goals he scores under the greatest pressure, he will be hoping to use this WC to prevent Lesk from replacing Fitzsimmons by another super-sriker, and give him the chance he's been waiting for. LSS : 24 Games played, 13 Goals, 6 Assists, 2 Yellow cards, 0 Red cards, 3 Man of the Match awards. Current team : Lesk. DOB : 31/03


Vuam and Isma are also happy to present their new kit, graciously made by JMC, "the Kryterian Club that makes the best sporting equipment in the world".

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/JMC.png
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/VAI3.png

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

Casari play to a 2-1 win over troupe of footballing monks
Nice to visit the Archregimancy without refs robbing us blind

CASARI- 2 (Livingston 34, Larini 78)
THE ARCHREGIMANCY- 1 (Silouan of the Seventy Caves, pen 73)

In a match that Hill was somewhat reluctant to take part in, the Casaran team took the field against the Archregimancy after the day's Starblaydia-NMS match, that magically ended in a 3-3 tie. However, the Casarans managed to ruen out victorious on the day.

In a match that might be a little more physical than you would expect from a bunch of members of a holy order, the 0-0 stalemate of the first half hour was broken by a Livingston drive at the bottomright corner of the goal.

The match resumed it's stalemate status until a 73rd minute penalty was awarded for a out-of-character takedown in the box by one of the team's most experienced members, Brian Nelson. Silouan managed to put it past William in goal to boost the score back level. However, a Larini goal 5 minutes later put the game back in favor of Casari, where it finally ended.

Despite the sometimes scrappy nature of the match, some players bame out convinced that the Monks wouldn't be a team to be taken lightly once qualifying is finished.

"You'd be suprised, but they can really push you around." Roe said after the game.

GRAHAM CITY SUN - Sports Section

Are You Reading the Same Scoreline We Are?

TURORI - Well ladies and gentlemen, we have reached a point where I never ever would've expected us to be at. Most of you would have already guessed that despite being widely predicted to steal the second qualifying spot from Turori, something or other would have prevented us from reaching it, maybe a tie with Talmeria or something or other that loses us key points, and then unable to beat the team we were predicted to. That era, apparently, is now well, over. The Stars opened up their World Cup Qualifying campaign in Turori, just a short hop across the region of Atlantian Oceania. Stepping onto the field with their new navy and grey kits, one could tell that something was different about this team.

Despite whatever success this team has appeared to have in the past, there has always been a Sword of Damocles hanging over their heads. The pressure has been enormous, and even when Stjepan was in his prime, scoring and controlling the midfield for the Clans, there never seemed to be quite the right talent for the Stars to take it to the next level. This game however, managed to dispel that notion fairly quickly. The Stars opened up with a series of probing attacks, testing the Turori defence to find weakness to exploit, with Graham Mackenzie playing a key role in communication and keeping the team all on the same page. The Stars dominated the first ten minutes, pounding the Turori defence with a fury not known since the days when the Stars were a top ten team. Jon Kavanagh opened the scoring twelve minutes in, taking a pass from Konstantinoppolis at the edge of the box, taking it in a couple of yards, and then clearing it through the defence and keeper to put ther Stars up 1-0.

Turori struck back, proving that this game was not going to be an easy one for the Stars, simply outplaying the defence of Markoff, Hughson and de Olivera. For all the new spit and polish, the Turori team was still able to penetrate cracks in the defence, mostly through their own talent and small errors by the Stars in the back line. After stealing a fanned pass from Hughson and driving past a desperate Markoff, the Turori striker went one on one with Olander Ilegochios and beat him top right. 1 all, and this game was even past the twenty minute mark. The game slowed down to a slog in the midfield, and the Stars struggled to keep the ball moving, a key to their success and ball control. Mackallen was abused heavily as he tried to force his way up the field, drwing three fouls in a span of fifteen minutes. The game flared up again when a break by Konstantinoppolis was brought down by a questionable tackle in the 34th minute, which brought some tempers to the rise and resulted in a yellow to the Turori winger.

Turori scored again just before the end of the half, after bulldozing it through both Mackallen and Markoff, and made an admittedly beautiful fake on Ilegochios to give them an open goal, which they didn't miss on. The Stars went into the second half, down, but certainly not out. In fact, by the half one could see the combination of physical play style combined with constant ball movement was wearing down the Turori midfield. In the second half, the Stars took advantage of that, with Kavanagh and Johnston making a break down the right side and making a beautiful give and go to get past the challenge from the Turori defence, and powered it home on the bottom right corner of the goal, tieing the game in the 57th minute. The game continued to get clogged up in the midfield, but more and more battles were being tipped toward the Stars.

Many anxious fans were worried that a breakthrough would come too late, and the Stars would be unable to finish. but in the 80th minute, Ryley Bloudin made a run up the pitch, using his vision and ball skill he broke through the midfield and placed a beautiful shot from the edge of the box passed the outstretched hands of the Turori keeper, and landed softly in the back of the net, 3-2 Stars on Turori turf. "It was a beautiful game," said manager Stjepan after the game, "they encountered difficulties and pushed through, worked around them and in the end proved that they were the superior team today." When asked what this meant for qualifying chances, he resonded with cautious optimism. "Of course I am happy we were able to beat Turori, but we still have a whole campaign to play. We must be careful not to slip up against the other teams in our group, especially Tynelia."

THE LOWLAND CLANS - 3
Kavanagh - 12th, 57th
Bloudin - 80th

TURORI - 2
Striker - 18th
Right Winger - 44th

Northern Caesarea national team coach, Paco Antequera, has declared that he is "very satisfied" with the first match of the Tricolores in WC28: "We have proved that we can play very well against a very tricky and complicated rival".

Against Pastorville, Antequera expects another Northern Caesarea: "Our defense has been excellent in the last match, but we must change our offensive game and the midfield. Our next rival is a more technical team, which allows us to have more ball possesion and to be more creative. I will give the chance to more technical players for this match. Against Radke, my option was, maybe, too conservative.

Likely team to play against Pastorville:

1. Cuéllar

2. Ferrer
4. Capdevilla
15. Molinero
22. Ibañez

24. Novo
20. Gabi
8. Ibagaza
6. Colsa

7. Narváez
17. Maragall


Called in:

25. Franco
3. Sergi
13. Caminero
14. Vizcaíno
9. Torres
23. Salmerón

Cuation 3 Not Enough To Hide Flaws

Cuation scored three against Bettia but in the end, conceded four in a great game. It would harsh to say the keepers or the defenders played badl but it was a day for skillfull attacking. Some people may wonder if the defence of old could have held Bettia to a draw but of more concern will be the injury of Peter Tanner, the veteran striker. Giovanni will replace him but others would prefer the honest play of Anderton

It started off well as Cuation played in their dark blue mouse kit with playmaker John Connick marked by Roy Ferguson, the only kicks he got was by Roy. Both sides had chances before Peter Tanner scored in the 19th minute. The tall striker used his feet for once after Ashton burst inside the area and to the byline. A low cross in was destined for Rual but DiTorino turned it away but only as far as Peter. A clean finish later and Cuation had taken an early lead

Bettia put on pressure and the quality of their attack looked set to tell but then Butcher got a chance to rampage forward. In too much space, he sent in a cross to the far post with 30 mins gone. Tanner knocked it back across, Rual Mendiz poking it towards goal but DiTorino blocked, the rebound handled by Rual before being poked in. The ref rualed it was ball to hand and Cuation where 2-0 up!

The celebrations where cut short as it was clear Peter Tanner had got hurt in the aireal challenge with Geraint Carew. News that it was his back that was hurt, manager Jude Tanner brought on playmaker Giovanni. Without Tanner's height and with Giovanni having a wasteful game, Cuation's attacking threat seemed to dry up.

Just before half time, Butcher slid in from behind on Geraint Carew, nearly provoking the winger into punching the young full back. Butcher was booked but the punishment was to continue. Badr Warlow stepped up and curled the ball into the net from 32 yards, Gary Jens helpess to stop it

2-1 up at half time, Cuation will have been relived to be ahead but in the 60th minute felt they had sowed up the match. Giovanni turned Gwynoro Tyrno'r before trying a long shot which Geraint Carew deflected up into the air. Rual Mendiz , Jon McKinnon and the keeper seemed unsure where the ball would fall but it ended up falling kindly for the striker. His voley looped over the stranded keeper to make it 3-1!

Rual Mendiz was replaced by Pual Keane but in the 61th minute it was back to 3-2. Jamie Hargreves and Chris Hutton chased a loose ball but Hargreves pancied and tried to slide in to knock the ball out. The striker took advantage, leaping over the challenge and racing towards goal with the ball. Yan lacked the pace to cover so he had enough room to pick his spot. Hutton's shot was low and hard, Gary Jens unable to get down in time to prevent it going in.

On came Swiss ""Cheese" Charag for Giovanni and a change to 6-3-1 formation. Defending hard, it took a great peice of skill to unlock the defence. In the 83rd minute, Judson York was at the end of a great passing move but still had a long way to go, outpacing Rio, he feinted his way past Cheese and Butcher. Facing Yan, hisdribbling skills dumped him onto the ground then gently curled the ball past the advancing Gary Jens.

3-3 would be slightly dissapointed but they would have taken it before the match. Pual Keane was able to sprint clear onto a long clearance but seeing the great DiTorino before him, he fluffed his kick straight at the keeper. Gary Jens had to make a double save, parrying Latif Hunter's volley then grabbing . Judson York's follow up.

In the last minute, Bettia had one last corner. Swung in, it was Latif Hunter who headed in the winner. As Bettia players and fans celebrated, Cuation players slumped to the ground after fighting so hard but coming awya with nothing though it was perhaps the fair result.

The next match is against Burning Penguins. Will Cuation take out their frustration on the lower ranked team or will they be tired after such a match? Who knows but it can't be as good as this!

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
Mateys welcomed with a Golden handshake


Today the Lisburn Mateys got their world cup debut off to a winning start after a 3-0 victory over unranked Khenas.


Around 52 000 fans turned up to the national stadium for the match which is a little disappointing as the stadium can hold 69 901.
The fans that did turn up however made alot of noise and gave a vibrant and colourful display in the stands for the entire game.

http://img55.imageshack.us/img55/7244/internationalgame9wj.jpg

The match itself was fairly one sided with the Mateys dictating play for long periods of time. The Khenasens seemed to be over awed by the occasion and never really got off the bus.

The first goal came after 17 minutes after very slick passing from the Mateys midfield of Stephan McNiece and 16 year old Keith Livingston presented a good pass Dominic Patton who dropped deep for a second and then sent in a curling shot from the edge of the area that wrong footed the goalkeeper.
The Mateys will have been disappointed going in at half time only one goal after Keith Livingston and Amusi Akobyi hit each post.

The half time team talk must have abeen a good one because the Mateys thundered out of the blocks for the second half scoring within 2minutes of the restart after Chris kingsberry's cross fell to Amusi Akobyi who has now scored 7 goals in 5 appearences.

Livingston scored the final goal towards the end of the game when the very tired looking Khenas players didnt close him down, he cooly looked up and sent a perfect shot into the top right corner 3-0

The Mateys now highly anticipate the arrival to the sell out game against Swalitia in matchday 2

Final score
Lisburn Mateys 3 - 0 Khenas
Dominic Patton - 17
Amusi Akobyi - 47
Keith Livingston - 73

Algal States opens WC28 at home with 1-0 loss to Tynelia.

In the first match of the World cup the 103rd ranked epiphytes did battle with the 71st ranked team from Tynelia and came up just shy in a 1-0 lossing effort. There were some bright spots however, as rookie goalie Lewis Thibault made his first start on the world stage and managed to keep it close in the second half when the Tynelia team found their sea legs and came on strong, scoring in the 53rd minute, after a first half where they seemed tentative whenever the stadium rocked on its moorings. The Epiphytes offence was never able to really get it going againest a tough Tynelia keeper and the Amirault twins will have to start producing or the epiphytes could be in trouble. Some changes are needed if they are to succeed in this tournament.
The Epiphytes next game is at home againest the 18th ranked team from Krytenia and will probably be the epiphytes toughest match of qualifying, their only hope is that the top seeded team in group 15 will have a hard time finding their sea legs.

Squornshelous Prepares for First Match

Pschychoes eager to begin
Squornshelous will open up their 24th World Cup qualifying campaign away at Mr. Chuck Norris. The Fighting Norris, while a relatively new team to World up competition, have shown that they certainly know what they're doing, and have shown an apititude for learning quickly. In fact, their press recently came out with an overview of Group 4 which included a painstakingly complete history of the Squornshelan National Team, from their debut in Cup five to their most recent 4th place finish. With this said, it is obvious that the Fighting Norris have doen their homework, and will be well prepared for the match. For this reason, Manager Seamus McCormack has decided that he will make several changes to the Pschychoes strategy, at least to start the match. Of course, he has not disclosed any of these plans, but given his brilliance in the past we are sure Seamus has something good up his sleeve.

Sturmkrieger Undefeated After Match Day 1!

The streets of Tinsuvilia lit up last night after the national team won their debut World Cup Qualifying. The match, played against Vejar (#179 KPB), ended with a bang as Jeri Kavelt, the Sturmkrieger left forward headed a corner lofted by midfielder Warren Feld slightly above the Vejar keeper's reach. Said Kavelt shortly after the match:

"It's wonderful to start the World Cup with such an amazing finish, and I think that this match will help prepare us for the next game against McPsychoville."

When asked about the goal specifically, Kavelt had this to say:

"Well, Warren lofted (the ball) beautifully, and I really couldn't do anything but score. Vejar played a great match, but we just wanted it more I suppose."

Kavelt, at 24 years old, is thought by many to be the future of Tinsuvilian football, and this does nothing to hurt those hopes.

Tinsuvilia:
1 (Jeri Kavelt, 88)
Vejar:
0

- As Reported By The Tinsuvilia Times

Anastasiania Disappoint Home Crowd
Outclassed by Qazox

Anastasiania's fourth-place performance at the Baptism of Fire and credible performances at the FIFA Cup of Nations counted for nothing, as the team from Northern FIFA crashed to Qazox at the first matchday of World Cup 28 qualifying yesterday. Against a team full of wingers, but without any forwards (or, indeed, conventional midfielders), the Anastasianians were time and again confused by the quick attacking style of the visitors, with Speedy Gonzalez notching up two goals six minutes from either end of the game. Iiro Kuivasto was not to blame for neither, though - he had a stunning game between the sticks, and it could easily have been more as the slow, inexperienced back four was exposed at the highest level. Substitute right back Kalervo Kottila was so frustrated he was overheard swearing in Finnish at the referee after Gonzalez' second goal, which was clearly offside in the minds of every Anastasianian at the ground. However, the Pfinnish referee understood Kottila's colourful language perfectly, and awarded him a yellow card for the vocal performance. To further annoy the hosts, the Qazox goalkeeper Reggie Hassok recorded his first international shutout, and was rarely troubled by the Anastasianian strikers. The only achievement was that Maria Gretsky, top scorer of Qazox' last qualifying campaign, was kept largely out of the game - however, Alicia Gonzalez ensured that her presence was not needed.

Coach Pettersdotter was disappointed with the result, but told the assembled reporters that anything else was rarely to be expected: "We're a small nation and our footballing scene lacks the required professionalism at this high level. Naturally, we aim to win every game, but it's hard when you've got opponents who have been training day in, day out for 15 years - when our premier league consists mainly of coach drivers who turn out on the football pitch whenever their driving schedule permits them to."

Anastasiania's next match is hardly any easier, as the team faces perennial qualifiers Audioslavia, who only choke when it comes to the final stages of the World Cup. With the first respite likely to come against The Remote Islands in matchday six, it could be a long wait for Anastasianians seeking football glory.

Qazox 2 (Gonzalez 6, 84)
Anastasiania 0

Booked: Kottila 84

Anastasiania: Kuivasto; Wyndham, Dyren (Larsson 64), Walliams, Ollinsalo (Kottila 72); Uddling, Kivelä, Henriksson (Wells 58); Briggs; Blain, Peterson
Qazox: Hassok; Venice, Homer, Megia, Sexton; Mason; Bookman, Gonzalez, Goya, Gretsky, Latrique

Chuck Norris News
For All Of Your Fighting Norris Coverage

Welcome back all of you Fighting Norris fans, it's time for more football from your favorite team. The Fighting Norris are back in the swing of things already winning their first match in World Cup 28. Here's the summary:

Mr Chuck Norris 4 (Chuck Norris 4, 16, 64)(Brian Boitano 40)
Five Civilized Nations 2 (Unknown Forward "A" 25, 50)

Before we report on this match, we'd just like to congratulate coach of the Fighting Norris and his team for pulling out such a stunning victory.

Fans packed La Estadia De Norris hyped for a good match. The match started and already the all-out offensive formation of the Fighting Norris proved to be quick in striking. Fighting Norris midfielder Zach Brickhouse seized control of the ball right from the start and instantly launched it forward to The Burger King. Defenders of Five Civilized Nations (5CN for short) were instantly thrown into a state of befuddlement as they weren't quite sure how to effectively stop the five-forward offense. The Burger King easily drew a defender away from Brian Boitano, who he proceeded to pass to. Upon receiving the ball, Boitano floated the ball accross the goal hoping a Fighting Norris forward would get a piece of it. Of course, none other than the one and only Chuck Norris met the ball with his head, sending it flying through the goalposts in only the fourth minute for his first goal of the tourney. Many of you at home are probably wondering why he didn't roundhouse kick the ball as he is so famous for doing. When asked after the match, he simply replied "I wanted to try something new, and it worked out alright".

Of course, the stadium went nuts as the Fighting Norris took control of the lead. It was only ten minutes later that the Fighting Norris again found their five-forward offense on a charge. Forward OJ Pimpson found himself with uncontested control of the ball as the 5CN defenders were scared to leave any forwards open. However, Pimpson managed to draw Norris' defender off of him by obligating the defender to stop him from scoring. OJ dumped the ball of on the now-open Norris, who popped the ball up in the air and roundhouse kicked the ball into the net for his second goal of the day in the sixteenth minute. The fans were very pleased upon witnessing the infamous roundhouse kick and were louder than ever.

However, every five-forward offense has its downside. Upon play continuing, a battle at midfield for possesion began. Both side showed a lot of effort and neither backed down without a fight. The 5CN midfield knew that if the ball were to get to the Fighting Norris forwards, a goal was inevitable. Finally, after an intense series of contests for control of the ball, 5CN found their midfielders on a charge. The Fighting Norris' three midfielders and tow defenders were bound to have a hard time, clearly outnumbered by the 5CN offense. Midfielder "B" effortlessly tossed the ball up to an uncontested Forward "A", who managed to pass the ball by Fighting Norris goalkeeper, Mr. Bednarik in the 25th minute for 5CN's first goal.

The score now being 2-1, the match no longer seemed lopsided. As play began again, another midfield battle ensued. By this point, both teams understood that whoever was to lead a charge would most likely be able to convert for a score. Sadly, 5CN was the team who came out with the ball this time. They found themselves attacking a bewildered Fighting Norris defense. However, in what seemed to be divine intervention, Midfielder "A" of 5CN tripped over his own feet, allowing Fighting Norris defender Scottest Hovest to launch the ball back upfield and into the possesion of the Fighting Norris offense.

Chuck Norris was first to receive the pass and began charging almost instantly. He had already scored two goals today and the 5CN was not about to let him score a hat trick. They swarmed Chuck Norris with all their might, but that only enabled Chuck to pass the ball to an open Brian Boitano, who tapped the ball in for his first goal on the World Cup stage. The clock struck the 40th minute just as he kicked the ball, halftime was looming and the Fighting Norris were now up 3-1. Halftime would expire with that score as neither team scored in the final five minutes of the half.

As the teams emerged to begin the second half, the crowd noticed that coach of the Fighting Norris Bob Janney had not exited the locker with the rest of team. We couldn't help but ask the temporary coach of the Fighting Norris what had happened to him. He informed us that Mr. Janney had gotten "a little too exited" during his halftime pep-talk and had blacked out. The team doctor ordered him to rest as to not risk his long-term health, but there's no reason for concern according to the doctor.

Anyway, the second half started and right away the 5CN offense came out shining, with a flawless charge downfield. Forward "A" found himself with only Scottest Hovest and Mr. Bednarik to beat, and he did so in flying colors. By the 50th minute, the score was 3-2, and 5CN was in striking distance.

The ball went back into play and for the first time, an up-and-down the field rally unfolded. However, the Fighting Norris finally found themselves with another good breakaway. John Fedo of the Fighting Norris harnessed control of the ball and shot it with unparalled power. The ball deflected off 5CN's goalkeeper and back into play. Convieniently, Chuck Norris was there to pass it by 5CN's downed goalkeeper for his thrid goal of the day and yet another hat trick. The clock read 64 minutes and the Fighting Norris had a confortable 4-2 lead.

The Fighting Norris clearly began a game of keepaway as they began heavily abusing the stamina of the 5CN players. No longer was this match about offense and defense, it was just a matter of keeping possesion for the Fighting Norris. After what seemed to be an eternity, the whistle blew, and the cheers erupted throughout the crowd. The Fighting Norris had won their first match, walking away with a new level of pride.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hello everyone, this is Bob Janney! Not to worry anyone, I'm fine, I just have to calm down sometimes. Anyway, my boys played better today than I've ever seen them play before. However, the five-forward offense proved to have its pros and cons and I can ensure you some high scoring matches in the future. No group analysis for now, but there will be after next week. If you saw my blurb on Squornshelous, you know that they're the elite of the elite and we don't stand much a chance. Honestly, I don't care if we lose as long as we play good. This is bound to be a good experience and I look forward to it with great anticipation. I'll talk to you all again after our next match."

World Cup 28 Schedule of the Fighting Norris:
Matchday 1: Vs. Five Civilized Nations (Won 4-2)
Matchday 2: Vs. Squornshelous
Matchday 3: At Bettia
Matchday 4: At Cuation
Matchday 5: On Bye
Matchday 6: Vs. Slakaj
Matchday 7: Vs. Burning Penguins
Matchday 8: At Five Civilized Nations
Matchday 9: At Squornshelous
Matchday 10: Vs. Bettia
Matchday 11: Vs. Cuation
Matchday 12: On Bye
Matchday 13: At Slajak
Matchday 14: At Burning Penguins

Fighting Norris World Cup 28 Record: (1-0-0)

khenas royal newswire
Your #1 source for khenas news

LISBURN MATEYS - The mermaids lost 3-0 on their first world cup match ever. This is bad news for the menrmaids, especially because we lost to a team that we had a good chance of winning to. If trends continue, we will not win any matches, and that is not good for the Khenas Mermaids.

Also, tommorow's match will be against Giant Zuchinni. Yikes.

The Greycoldandugly Mts Valley Inquisitor



The Team Loses as expected, But still Nobody dead

-The Team opened up their first World Cup with a rather spectacular loss, which was the result of a long game which displayed excellent teamwork(by The Emperialist team) and several stunning plays. As the Emperialist players swiftly worked their way towards the goal, the ball was almost always stolen by either DMYS, or Mostly Mouths(who is being fined nearly 500 Curses for damages - namely: seven footballs within the first half, and five more the second), and being sent up to Furious Porridge. Porridge consistently maneuvered the ball to the enemy goal, where ABSOLUT LUNATIC consistently wandered in front of the shot just as it soared towards an open space.

The Emperialist players finally got past the voracious defense-players and scored, causing Devious Penguin to fly into one of the infamous 'Penguin Rages' which gave them their name. He was brought down by tranquilizer dart just inches from one of Emperialist' star forwards, and was carted off the field in 4-inch chains(a bit thinner than regulation size, but the penguin didn't wake up for another half-hour).

At the start of the second half, The Penguin decided to use a common strategy employed by The Team. As one of their opponents described it later, "...All of a sudden that nut in the penguin suit yelled something like 'fix bayonecks' and their entire team pulled broken broom-handles out of the mouth of one of their defencemen, and they charged us." Inquires are being made as to the legality of the move, which was used by The Team in all of their practices for, and their match in, the Lancre Cup.

Whether or not the formation was legal, it proved highly ineffective, as Mostly Mouths ate all the remaining footballs to compensate for the sudden vacuum inside of him.

Now, as The Team prepares to play Ariddia, they have spoken exclusively to our reporters as to their plan.
"Well, last time, we made sure ABSOLUT LUNATIC wasn't thirsty before the game, so this time, we plan on watering down his drink," says forward Furious Porridge, "it'll either make him collapse unconscious on the pitch, or send him roaring into Ariddia's team."

Mrs. Tweezly, the fearsome Midfielder, revealed how The Team actually plans its games. "Well, now that we're playing Ariddia, we know we've got no chance in hell of winning." She said. "At least, we're not going to win if we try to win, so we've given up the idea of trying to win, since we seem to do so badly at it anyway, and we're now practicing trying to lose."

Al Broller, a defenceman, says that this plan is almost certainly going to work. “It’s like that mind-trick thingy, see. The turned about psychology idea, you know? If we tries t’ lose, we’ll win, ‘cause we fail at everything we try. And if you fail t’ lose, your gonna win, see.”

We here at the GMI offices believe that they still don’t have a chance, even with this new and insightful plan. Ariddia will beat them by a ridiculous margin, and we’re currently accepting bets as to what that margin will be. Call 1-800-208-1294-36721 to submit your bet today!

The Greycoldandugly Mts Valley Inquisitor

We here at the GMI offices believe that they still don’t have a chance, even with this new and insightful plan. Ariddia will beat them by a ridiculous margin, and we’re currently accepting bets as to what that margin will be. Call 1-800-208-1294-36721 to submit your bet today!


The Very Strange Hamlet of Qazox would like to put a 5,000,000 Zaq bet on 4-0 in favor of Ariddia.

MD1 RP cutoff. Scores to follow.

Liverpool England Too Much For Unicorns

Queen Sonya watched the match against Liverpool England with a smile on her face. The punishment being inflicted on the young Unicorns roster was everything she had thought it would be. LE came out on fire and never looked back, leaving the Unicorns looking anything but Mystical.

And now comes the repercussions of such an outing. For the second WC in a row, starting keeper Alassea Sáralondë has been benched in favor of Alassea Culnámo after allowing 8 goals in two matches. Culnámo performed well in WC27 qualifying before losing the spot back to Sáralondë so expectations are high that she will do so again here.

Also being relegated to reserve roles are normal starters Nienna Palantír (LB), Uruviel Telemnar (CM), and Merenwen Súrion (RF). They will be replaced in the starting line-up by Alassea Ancalímon, Ireth Telemnar, and Gilraen Tinúviel respectively. These moves have been made due to a complete lack of effort on the part of the starting squad in an effort to prove to the girls that no one’s position on the squad is sacred.

Next up for the Mystical Unicorns is a trip to Vilita. Surprising everyone in WC27 we made this same trip and actually came away with a victory. One thing is certain, Vilita will be looking to avenge that loss and if the Unicorns are not mentally ready for the match it could be another massive defeat for our squad. We can’t afford to start with 3 losses and desperately need at least a point in this one. As every other squad in the group now has at least a point, that 5th seed seems to be a long way off, and we have no desire to play for a wooden spoon again any time soon.

Elsewhere around the world, major upsets did occur today.
Group 2 saw Kaze Progressa and D2R both drop points against Homieville and Rosberg respectively.

Group 1 - Rordia allowed low-ranked Virginia Nova to collect a point and Anamathic Republics allowed the same from Narbithia

Group 3 - Gaspland came from nowhere to crush Harlesburg 3-1 while Dauna Hills showed new life by dropping Vuam and Isma 4-0

Group 6 - #124 Nouvelle Angletere outplayed their ranking to steal a point from Hockey Canada

Group 8 - Elrich showed very little effort in a 0-0 draw against The Emperialists.

Group 9 - Unranked Tinsuvilia embarrassed McPsychoville 3-1 while lowly Vejar handled Kelse 2-1

Group 11 - Sarzonia continued to slip as Oglethorpia earned a draw and Lisburn Mateys dropped Swilatia 2-1.

Group 12 - New Lexington crushed Bazalonia 3-1

Group 13 - Atheistic Right forced a draw with Tadjikistan. Northern Caesarea drew against the Saints of Pastorville. Radke managed to beat Apologetic Kittens 1-0.

Group 14 - Alberthame knocked off Nanakland 3-2. Molvania edged The Macabees 1-0

Group 15 - Algal States pulled a draw from Krytenia. The Lowland Clans sucked as Geisenfried beat them 1-0. Talmeria played up to draw against Tynelia.

What a day in WC28. Whew!

http://http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg

Sea Dragons Drop Friendly - Now Ready For Boudra-Boudra

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from Milchama.

The Sea Dragons traveled to Milchama today to face the Warriors in a friendly match as both sides had bye dates in WC28 qualification. The match was well played as both sides seemed to be relieved of the pressure that comes with the WC. Smiles and laughter dominated the field. In the end it was the Warriors who walked away with a 2-1 victory. Porche Alexander scored the only Vegan goal in the 35th minute. We truly look forward to their visiting us on MD9 for the second friendly match of the series.

In WC28 news, the Sea Dragons now return home to face an upstart squad from Boudra-Boudra. You can bet the smiles will be gone when that match begins. As far as official matches go, it will be an all business proposition.

You can bet Boudra-Boudra will be ready to play. They came up short in their effort against Jeruselem 0-2 and will be looking for a better result in this one. That means ASMV will have to be ready to forcibly take the match away from them. MD2 of the qualifiers reminded everyone involved that no squad is a safe victory. Of the 45 matches played, 21 saw lower ranked sides steal points. That means just one thing to ASMV. Be prepared to play hard - And that is exactly what we will try to do.

Tune in tomorrow to see all your Sea Dragon highlights.

Scoreless draw! A bad start?

Atheistic Right - Most people are now looking for some excuse to cover up Tadjikistans failure to score, but we all know better. Tadjikistans is no longer as powerful as it used to be and the security measures or Tadjikistans first match here are two explainations that belong in the garbage bin.

Indeed security was tight, the Main Intell Administration had provided the Tadjik national team with more than a hundred men, most of those remained invisible in corners and dark spots, looking out for any irregularities, while several others were seen patrolling with machinepistols and other such heavy equipment. Their stay was good as they remained mostly unemployed. Besides single unidentified lunatic who tried to get into the Tadjik hotel, nothing serious happened.

And it isnt the first time that Tadjik security officers and other security personell run around during a match of the national team, we all remember[or should remember] WC15 with Tadjikistan - Krytenia where police turned up in full force to end riots within Dushanbe. As we said, this time security personell remained mostly invisible, everyone knew they were there but few people could see them.

It was Tadjikistans first qualification match, but the players already got time to know each other during the Draggonnii Inviyattii. Critic Georgi Shpagin showed up once more to tell the public what he thinks 'The only part of the Tadjik squad that improved, or didnt fail was the defense. They stopped the few attacks by Atheistic Right, that Puma dude came close to scoring but Suchomlinov, who has been on the bench long enough now, made a terrific save and kept the Tadjiks from losing here. In the midfield, we see that the Pliiev type is gone; someone who can organize a move and lead the team to a goal. Daniel Kirponos is a good player, but I dont think he's ready for the job yet. And then we get the strikers, well to be frank, I dont get it ... veterans, especially Saradov and they fail to make a single goal. Saradov is topscorer in the Tadjik league but here he can't finish off what he starts. One of his best moves, he squandered by shooting to much to the centre and giving Frog, where the hell do they get these names from, an easy save. Something has to change if we want to avoid these kinds of embarrasments, I'd suggest adding a few creative midfielders such as that young fellow Nicolay Elisarov.'

As Shpagin mentioned Elisarov, many heads nod in recognition, but Alexander Zaev defends his current selection: 'These men have played some good matches, granted, their performance hasnt always been what it used to be. But with some molding we can make them into a winning team. I agree that Elisarov would be a good addition but he has to fit in and he doesnt know the national team or its style yet. Adding him at this point wont do us any good. Instead we should now focus on Matchday 3, a match in Dushanbe against a weaker opponent, the opportunity to show our fans that we're still around.'

MD1: Bye
MD2: Atheistic Right - Tadjikistan D 1-1
MD3: Tadjikistan - Radke
MD4: Northern Ceasarea - Tadjikistan
MD5: Apologetic Kittens - Tadjikistan
MD6: Tadjikistan - Pastorville
MD7: Tadjikistan - Spruitland
MD8: Bye
MD9: Tadjikistan - Atheistic Right
MD10: Radke - Tadjikistan
MD11: Tadjikistan - Northern Ceasarea
MD12: Tadjikistan - Apologetic Kittens
MD13: Pastorville - Tadjikistan
MD14: Spruitland - Tadjikistan

Islanders signal of intent

After a highly satisfying win over COH rivals Wentland the Islanders provided further signal of there intent with a masterful display over lowly St Happenin. The visitors did look apprehensive as they entered the pitch for kick off as the 50'000 fans across the Estadio Nacional belted out a strident rendition of the Cataduanes national anthem ''Patria'', and with kick off the visitors were forced on the defensive with the Islanders pouring forward from the start, the nervous defence of the visitors allowed Ruedas too much space and he glady ran at the St Happenin left back launching several big crosses into the box in the first 15 minutes of the match but the visitors held on grimly until a corner in the 22nd minute led to the first goal of the match by Jose Maharbal, who was playing instead of Carlos Guarin whom Coach Manua decided to rest on the bench for the start of this match, Maharbal's header from the set piece play was followed in the 30th minute by a 25 yard freekick superbly slotted by Toni Souletano. Despite holding the lead the Islanders continued to pour forward looking for more goals but this backfired with the visitors hitting them on the counter attack pulled a goal back after the St Happenin no.9's saw his shot deflected into the Islanders goal by Jorge De Haro for an own goal, a furious Coach Manua could be seen gestulating to his players for them to slow down the play and the Seleccion obliged reining in the attack in favour of maintaining possesion at a slower tempo and the tactical change payed off with a third goal for the home side just before half time with yet another corner leading to a goal, this time it was an athletic header from Alfonso Boqueron.

Half time saw St Happenin changing there formation pulling 5 into defence at what looked like an attempt at damage limitation however this encouraged the Islanders to maintain posession and to continue to build up the attacks patiently, allowing the wingers chances to run into space. It was the wingers that dominated the second half with Marco Ruedas easily outwitting his marker and providing the visitors defence with a real headache, by the 71st minute some 14 shots on targets had been notched up by the islanders as they began to turn the screw and there determination paid off with Armando Ribera's cross being converted by Butch Sacario's impressive volley. In the 80th minute Jose Maharbal made way for Carlos Guarin while Marco Ruedas made way for Felipe Quintanilla, the addition of fresh legs led to the fifth goal of the match with Carlos Guarin skillfull dribbling into the box to then set up Quintanilla for the tap in on the 88th minute.

Coach Manua was estatic with his sides performance ''Muy bien, estoy feliz!! i know that St Happenin are not the greatest side in the world but i am very pleased with how the lads acquitted themselves, it is essential that we continue to get 3 points form the sides ranked lower than us, it was by slipping up to the smaller unfancied sides that we had a torrid time in the run up to WC27''

With a second win under their belts the Islanders are sitting at the top of Group 12, they have no fixture on MD 3 but are due to face Magnus Valerius on MD 4 who took a 3-0 beating at home to group favourites FMJ Phoenix.
While it is early days the Seleccion could not have hoped for a better start to the WC28 campaign.

Cataduanes - 5 (Maharbal, Souletano, Boqueron, Sacario, Quintanilla)
St Happenin - 1 (de Haro O.G)


Patria - Anthem of the Cataduanes Federation.

Tierra adorada
Hija del sol de Oriente,
Su fuego ardiente,
En ti latiendo está.

¡Tierra de amores!
Del heroismo cuna,
Los invasores
No te hollarán jamás.

En tu azul cielo, en tus auras,
En tus montes y en tu mar
Esplende y late el poema
De tu amada libertad.

Tu pabellón, que en las lides
La victoria iluminó,
No verá nunca apagados
Sus estrellas y su sol.

Tierra de dichas, del sol y de amores,
En tu regazo dulce es vivir.
Es una gloria para tus hijos,
Cuando te ofenden, por ti morir

Boudra-Boudra vs Jeruselem

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/boudra-boudra.jpg vs http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/jeruselem.jpg

Jeruselem too strong for Boudra-Boudra

After ninety minutes the Scoreboard displayed 0-2 in favor of Jeruselem and the Boudran players, lying exhausted on the pitch, knew that was truly deserved. Nowhere throughout the match did they seem to be getting control of the match, as they struggled to keep possession and spent most of their time defending the cage of Ohène Strok'pah. Actually 0-2 was even a good score, as the Jeruselem forwards created numerous chances and could easily have won 0-5 or more. Having lost two home matches already means the World Cup is very far away for Boudra-Boudra unless they manage to steal some points away from home. Coach Linus Gunfi-Pok has a lot of work to do and the next opponents, Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, who did not convince as they lost 2-1 to Milchama in a friendly but will surely hope to do a lot better at home against Boudra-Boudra when it counts. Sports analists all over Boudra-Boudra are starting to criticise the tactics of coach Gunfi-Pok as the two home losses will prove to be crucial in the end and with two tough away matches against Andossa Se Mitrin Vega and Kericia upcoming, Boudra-Boudra could be looking at zero out of twelve points. Coach Gunfi-Pok has replied: "It is crazy to suppose we will qualify for WC28, we have to accept we are just newcomers, the players have no experience on this level and it shows in the matches. We need to concentrate in building a solid team that can qualify for WC30 and all the following WCs. Ofcourse we try, but we cannot be blamed for failing as newcomers."

The final score:
Boudra-Boudra 0 - 2 Jeruselem

Olmat Masha '22,
Takahashi Masurashi '59

The Boudran lineup:

Goalkeeper:
- Ohène Strok'pah

Defenders:
- Indridi-Ptô Burns
- Hanz Buyakasha (captain)
- Billy-Bob Stephenson (out, 79 mins)

Midfielders:
- Rikke Gallucio
- Bernardino Maria Eduardo Garcia de la Col Delgado
- Torsten Oppt-Sjlook
- Njjik Rahlii

Forwards:
- Arintz Efefefe-Ijlf (out, 58 mins)
- Sosimo Bradkorb
- Malimbo Tar (out, 60 mins)

Replacements:
- Mikko Piminio (For, 58 mins)
- Abraham Whiler (Mid, 60 mins)
- Simon Samuelsson (Def, 79 mins)

Other MD2 Results in Group 7
Kericia 2-0 Philthealbino
Rorysville 1-4 Becquerelia
(Friendly: Andossa Se Mitrin Vega lost 2-1 in Milchama, to Milchama)

The WCQ Schedule for Boudra-Boudra:
Matchday 1: Boudra-Boudra - Becquerelia lost 0-1
Matchday 2: Boudra-Boudra - Jeruselem lost 0-2
Matchday 3: Andossa Se Mitrin Vega - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 4: Kericia - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 5: Bye
Matchday 6: Boudra-Boudra - Philthealbino
Matchday 7: Boudra-Boudra - Rorysville
Matchday 8: Becquerelia - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 9: Jeruselem - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 10: Boudra-Boudra - Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Matchday 11: Boudra-Boudra - Kericia
Matchday 12: Bye
Matchday 13: Philthealbino - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 14: Rorysville - Boudra-Boudra

“Welcome everyone to Tynelian Soccer Weekly’s continuing coverage of our country’s World Cup 28 qualification run. In a disappointing finish, Tynelia could only manage a 0-0 tie against Talmeria which brings back memories of the pair of ties Tynelia got in WC 27 against Risa-Aramour. As usual this is Sal Spikeman with Anna Dalespin with our up to date coverage of the run. So Anna you thoughts?”

“Yes this was a very disappointing result for Tynelia even though it was on the road. As I said before this started Tynelia needs to take five out of six games against the teams ranked below them to have a realistic chance of qualifying. With this tie they now pretty much have to win the last four to stay alive.”

“Maybe Anna, but you’ll see this was a day no one really did much. The Algal States recovered from the loss to us with a shocking 0-0 draw with the top seed Krytenia which I’m sure no one saw coming. And Tynelia’s next opponent Geisenfried despite being the lowest ranked team in the group is now sitting alone in first place after their 1-0 upset over the Lowland Clans who maybe were still celebrating their first match win over Turori. In fact, the Tyneloia- Geisenfried match will actually be for first place in the group.”

“This has been a very topsy turvy group stage to start off with Sal. Unlike Tynelia’s last Cup where ties were fairly rare early on there have already been a handful to surprising combinations. This does help Tynelia’s chances indirectly as higher ranked teams fail to take advantage of playing lower ones but they have to do their part as well. Only three teams in two matchdays have been able to post wins which puts lots of teams tied especially with the top seeds going through their byes.”

“Right and a tie is better than a loss since at least we get some points out of it and now Tynelia is alone in second with third place Lowland Clans having the bye this week. Now getting to the game itself. Both teams came out cautiously and the first half was spent in a feeling out process. Shots were had by both teams but nothing of a really threatening nature. The second half had a higher pace as both teams tried to push through with what would have been a decisive goal but to no avail. In the end shots ended up tied at 12 a piece with quality shots a mere 2-1 in Tynelia’s favor. Like the final score, the time of possession was also pretty equal, the home team holding a very slight edge of barely a minute. A truly defensive effort. Tynelia seems to have trouble with the team ranked right below them in their Cup history. Risa-Aramour was the team last time and Tynelia could only manage a pair of draws in their two matches. Now it seems Talmeria has taken over that duty. Does this look like a return to last Cup form for Tynelia or is this just a blip on the radar Anna?”

“Since its one game you can’t really look too much into it. Going to a new country for the first time and playing an unknown squad is always tough for a relatively new team like us. In a few more years maybe like the major soccer powers this will become commonplace and the players will be able to adjust better to new venues. As it stands for now there may still be a few growing pains like this one. Its nothing that time won’t deal with.”

“Ok then, how about this next match with Geisenfried? The surprise of the group so far at 2-0-0 after their upset against the Lowland Clans?”

“This will be a good match, while Geisenfried has dropped of the rankings due to inactivity they do in fact have a World Cup history behind them so they’re not your typical unranked new team. This has probably helped them adjust to international play more swiftly than similar teams in their position. While their win against Talmeria might not have raised many eyebrows taking out a Lowlands Clans club that had just knocked off the number 2 seed in the group certainly has. This may help Tynelia out as well actually since Geisenfried has now shown quite clearly that shouldn’t be overlooked at all. In the last Cup many had written in the bottom seed as an easy win. Clearly not the case this time.”

“Well is there any chance they will become the Algal States of the last Cup? Winning their first three matches and stunning everyone then going on a long losing streak to drop back into 8th place by the end?”

“Anything’s possible Sal but for now Tynelia has to bounce back from this disappointing result in our World Cup home opener. This will no doubt help us as we played much better at home last Cup than we did on the road. With the crowd behind them this should help their chances as they prepare to go into the bye.”

“Ok then Anna, let’s cut over to the coach of Tynelia’s last Cup Marcus O’Meara with his thoughts in the Coach’s Corner. Welcome Marcus.”

“Thanks Sal and Anna. Seeing how a team recovers from a disappointing result is the first major test of character for both a coach and team. In this case I would say more for the coach Greg Tudor. The team has suffered through poor matches in the past so they have some idea already how to deal with the disappointment. The microscope will be on Coach Tudor though to see how he will handle a draw in a match most felt Tynelia should have won. While the situation isn’t quite as bad as a loss its still a test of coaching ability to see how the coach will get the team to bounce back in their next match or even if the coach can get the team to recover. While Tudor seems like he’s not the sort of person to make his team run laps as punishment it will see how long his British born reserve will hold up under the pressure of World Cup play and expectations of the people back home. In some cases the latter is more of a factor than the former.

“ But we’ll see soon enough as our team comes home for the first time. I know when I was coaching how big an honor it was for everyone to come out of that corridor for the first time in front of my countrymen and women wearing the national colors and representing their country. I even told the players just before that first match to remember that moment because it will be with them fro the rest of their lives. The only negative would be if the players try to do too much and get nervous which would make them sloppy. But we’ll just have to see, Sal.”

“Thanks Coach, you bring up a very good point about the pressure wouldn;’t you agree Anna?”

“Yes pressure and expectations can break anyone at anytime Sal, with experience behind most of the team though I don’t this will be a problem for the players, the veterans can help the rookies through this. And I also agree that Coach Tudor will be watched closely to see how he’ll handle it as the days go on.”

“So what’s your pick for this next match Anna?”

“Well Geisenfried has nothing to lose this entire Cup as no one expects anything from them. That means they’ll be able to remain nice and loose no matter what. The pressure will be on Tynelia to do well after its last draw and the fact they’ll be playing in front of the home crowd for the first time. It should be mentioned too that Amy Whiteworth has dealt her second straight shutout in this Cup. A beginning similar to Vladimar Malloy’s Baptism of Fire run where he didn’t allow a goal until after group play had been finished. Whether she can do the same is probably unlike but let’s just see how far she can take it. As for a final this one is tough to figure given Geisenfried’s strong play so far but I’ll stick with my same pick as last match 1-0 Tynelia.”

“Ok Anna, now that must mean we’re ready for ‘Harmonie’s Hearsay’ with our own Harmonie Masterson. Hello Harmonie.”

“Hi Sal! Hi Anna! Its too bad Jay-kins didn’t get a score today cause I bet we would have won for sure if he did. Don’t worry cuddlybunny you’ll do better next time! Now today’s hot story is about the Lowland Clans. My sources tell me that there are actually hills and even mountain in their country. So why are they the Lowland Clans? Is there some secret in these hills that they don’t want people knowing about? Are all the people there afraid of heights? Or <gasp> did they kill all the people living there so just the ones in the lowlands were left! I don’t know about you people out there, but this is something that must be answered. We’ll be following this story very closely don’t worry. Back to you Sal!”

“Thanks Harmonie. What’s this piece of paper you’re handing me Anna? An announcement? Ok let me read it to our viewers. ‘The statements made by Mrs. Masterson do in no way shape or form represent the views and/or opinions of Tynelian Soccer Weekly, the Tynelian government or anyone else but Harmonie Masterson herself. Please don’t sue us!’ Well, ok then. Oops that’s all the time we have for today. This is Sal Spikeman for Anna Dalespin , we’ll be here once again after our live coverage of Tynelia’s next World Cup match of group play concludes so until then good night everyone.”

Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump.

It was 130 beats per minute in the average Wentland supporter's heart at the Sir Kenneth Kendall stadium. Buttom but one in the group and at home to the bottom team. Defeat would mean the qualifying bid was effectively over after 2 matches.

Edgar Bluff had kept faith with the team that started against Cataduanes, apart from Martin Smith in for the injured Treves. Or more likely "I told them they let everyone down, so they'd have a chance to rectify."

Derrington was still in goal despite calls for him to be replaced by the in-form Dennis Tracey. "He's a great shot-stopper. I think that's what we need agaisnt Magnus Valerius."

But the consensus in the stadium was that he was a liability...the noise was muted when his name was read out...how would he perform against the red-clad visitors?

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
Swilatia Burnt!!!

The Lisburn Mateys football squad today walked away from a memorable victory over the extremly cocky Silatia team, in a very fired up game. The Mateys won the game 2-1 but it is perhaps the scenes from the fans that will be the most talked about, but they where provoked well thats their story anyway, remember this????



http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/jersey--67.jpg
LISBURN MATEYS
they dont stand a chance against us, or really anone in this group except the one nation below them, so they should just give up.


The governemnt new this match was going to be an ellectric one and with some supporters threatening violence a large police force of 1500 officers was brought to the national stadium and another 500 memeber of the army where on standby to keep the peace, only 3000 Swalitia fans where allowed to visit the ground to keep trouble to a minimum.

The 69 901 seater stadium was packed to the rafters and it was clear the Mateys fans where not happy at all by booing over the top of the Swalitia national anthem.

Each team thundered out of the blocks at a high tempo when the match began with The Mateys kicking off the ref did his best to calm the situation and refrained from showing cards when he could but by the end of the first half Andrew Stewert, Chris Kingsberry and Mikolaj Zoja had all been yellow carded, with the match being a tight battle and with very quick closing down and tackling the game didnt get a chance to flow.

After the second half the match seemed to be a little calmer and Joe Bellucci on for Chris Kingsberry made a flying run down the right wing after skinning Karl Margrethe, he hit a low cross into the box allowing Amusi Akobyi to slide in and clip the ball which went into the net, the crowd erupted!! and songs began to have a more happy instead of angry feel to them, but the joy was short lived.

The Mateys didnt see to realise the match wasnt over and Swalitia came right back at them scoring 7 minutes after when an over cautious Andrew Stewert allowed a player to go past allowing Swalitia to score.
Pierre Gerlind then decided to dramtically celebrate infront of the Ballymacash supporters club section of the Mateys crowd and some things where thrown onto the pitch delaying it for 5 minutes.
http://img84.imageshack.us/img84/9931/troubleatgame4ov.jpg

Gerlind then got a yellow card for his actions.

The final goal came from controversial circumstances, with Stephan Mc Niece being fouled on the edge of the area, but it did look suspiciously like a dive, Robert Mirek was carded for the challenge. But again the Mateys prodical child delivered the goods , after being unlicky he hit the post which bounced back against Sylwester Mathias and into the net, which was was quite harsh as Swilatia where an equal side on the day.

Final score
Lisburn Mateys 2 - 1 Swilatia
Amusi Akobyi - 52
Oscar Valentin - 59
Sylwester Mathias - 76 (own goal)


yellow carded
Andrew Stewert - 18
Chris Kinsberry -23
Mikolaj Zoja - 38
Pierre Gerlind - 62
Robert Mirek - 75
Marvin Andrews - 91

The next game will really test the Mateys as they travel away to ranked 13 Sarzonia in their biggest test in international football do far

* Weird theme song *

Rachel "Good morning, this is Rachel Goldstein reporting on the World Cup 28 for JGN. Behind me is the stadium where Jeruselem have just finished their first game for the World Cup 28. With me is World Cup 26 & 27 player, Harry Kool"

Harry "Good morning everyone."

Rachel "Now Harry, Jeruselem looked a little rusty today. Just a two nil win over Boudra-err-Boudra. The attack isn't working that well, but the midfield is going really nicely."

Harry "Yes, not the best of wins. Saying that we don't start quickly, it takes a while to get into the groove of things. An early goal by Olga, really settled the team down and Takahashi's later goal was great. This team hasn't really got fired up yet"

Rachel "So, Boudra are a threat to us? They didn't seem to attack much or was that we didn't shoot straight."

Harry "They tried, but we had the possession which stifles your ability to score. It was really the lack of possession. They will improve, but these things take time to develop"

Rachel "In other games, the sea dragons played a friendly so that score does not count here. Kericia got maximum points with a two nil win over Philthealbino. The exciting game was when Becquerelia trashed Rorysville 4-1. In the end, Jeruselem 2nd on the table and Becquerelia are 1st. The bottom teams stay bottom still. Now Harry, Becquerelia are going well"

Harry "Slow start, but that four one win helps the team. The knowledge you can beat a weak team with ease is good"

Rachel "In other games, Hockey Canada managed a draw with Nouvelle Angleterre. ONE ALL, and the top seed for that Group is a little slow out the blocks - but we know Hockey Canada can do much better. Oh, the mighty Lions!"

Harry "Yes, Nedalia beat Blitzwehr three two. Two wins and they top their group. Yes, this world cup - the old lions we love seem to be back. Playing quick and confident football, I hope they can really make an impact. Two wins out of two, and looking good. Better still, 5 goals."

Rachel "Now, after two rounds - any impressions of the young teams?"

Harry "None that stand out. The top 4 will be good, but the others don't seem to have that attacking bite yet. You can't win if you can't score."

Rachel "This is Rachel Goldstein and Harry Kool from the World Cup 28 for JGN. See you all tomorrow morning for more results, and don't forget our regular replays on JGN tonight."

Spaam Sports Weekly
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Keep Jelbert On

It is unfortunate when you can only trust your keeping to one person. Such
is this case with Spaam, with the Waffles going down by two goals to none at
home in Artanis National Stadium. Assistant coach Tamsyn Pengelley held the
reins for the friendly, and every player in the roster was to be given a go. It
thus made for some very entertaining football, but Spaam's attack couldn't
penetrate the Schiavone's defense, and noone could get past star keeper
Jelbert. So at the end of the first half, the score was nil all. Bring on
substitute keeper, 20 year old Arthur, and Schiavonia's legendary Tony
Tarmey struck three minutes into the second. With the pressure kept on the
Waffles, there was no chance of an equaliser, and teenager Seamus Bradley
got his first international goal to put the game out of reach in the 77th
minute.

Pengelley was thoughtful after the match: "There's no such thing as a bad
experience, and its good that all our players got a go. Gave the fans
something to see, and let us play around with some strategies for the games
that matter. With any luck, we can get our confidence back when we play
the Gulls next week." Spaam heads to Schiavonia for the reverse friendly in 6
weeks time.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/spaam.jpg 0:2 http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/schiavonia.jpg
Schiavonia: 36 Tarmey 48; 32 Bradley 77

Group 8

The other Spaamanian team fared the same fate as the Waffles, going down
2-0 at home to four time world champions Rejistania. Ariddia was not fussed
by hosting a bunch of insane penguins, dominating the match 3-0. And The
Emperialist and Elrich played perhaps the most boring game of football this
week, eventually churning out a scoreless draw.

Ariddia gets the bye next week, giving Spaam a chance to match their
performance, when they host Plijous in what should be a packed Artanis
National Stadium. Rejistania will be hosting The Emperialist, and should give
them a taste of embarassing defeat, while Elrich will be defending against a
team that should be in an insane asylum.

Team P W D L GF GA GD PT PG G%
Rejistania 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3 3.0 100
The Emperialist 2 1 1 0 1 0 1 4 2.0 100
Ariddia 2 1 1 0 4 1 3 4 2.0 80
Elrich 2 1 1 0 2 1 1 4 2.0 67
Spaam 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1.0 50
Spaamanian Plijous 2 0 0 2 1 4 -3 0 0.0 20
Raging Penguins 2 0 0 2 0 4 -4 0 0.0 0



1 Spaam 1:1 Ariddia
2 BYE
3 Spaam ?:? Spaamanian Plijous
4 Spaam ?:? The Emperialist
5 Raging Penguins ?:? Spaam
6 Elrich ?:? Spaam
7 Rejistania ?:? Spaam
8 Ariddia ?:? Spaam
9 BYE
10 Spaamanian Plijous ?:? Spaam
11 The Emperialist ?:? Spaam
12 Spaam ?:? Raging Penguins
13 Spaam ?:? Elrich
14 Spaam ?:? Rejistania

Ariddia “fairly satisfied” with draw against Spaam

It was with an obvious smile that Ariddian coach Adam Seul declared that his team’s one-all away draw against Spaam on the opening day of the Cup had been a “fairly satisfying performance”. Most supporters no doubt felt it was a lot more than that. The opening game was expected to be one of the two most difficult in the entire qualifying stages – along with the away match to Rejistania – and a draw was more than what most were hoping for.

The Ariddians were reunited once more after many players had been unable to participate in the Cup of Harmony and the Draggonni Inviyaitii. That fact seemed to boost their confidence right from the start, as they performed an energetic and determined ulek.

The game rapidly became fast-paced, with the Rouge-et-Noirs pressing home every possibe opportunity for attack, but Spaam’s solid defence weathering the onslaught superbly. Nor were the Spaamanians purely passive, as Ariddian defenders al Jahdali, Wald and Kitenge were kept on their toes. As expected, it was a Spaamanian who scored the opening goal, with Meylor Trewin breaking through Ariddia’s defences at last in the fortieth minute, and outperforming goalkeeper Sandrine Leduc.

In the fifty-sixth minute, a powerful long-distance shot by Hanifah Kyaw hit the Spaamanian crossbar, but Ariddian supporters had to wait until the eightieth minute for Frédéric Clément, in top form, to bring a much awaited equaliser. The Rouge-et-Noirs maintained their attack style throughout the closing minutes, cheered on by their supporters, but the result remained a draw – one nobody on the Ariddian side could call a disappointment.


Penguins in the tropics

Ariddia’s first home match of the Cup was held in Haven-Port-Nouveau Stadium, as the Rouge-et-Noirs welcomed the somewhat oddly named Raging Penguins. Despite initial concerns, it was found the team was indeed made up of human beings, and not birds.

“You never know,” one reporter commented. “In the past, we’ve seen cows, spiders and even vegetables taking part in the World Cup. Penguins would hardly even seem surprising by comparison.”

The Ariddian authorities were also informed that the Raging Penguins’ team apparently consisted for the most part in lunatics and criminals, and security measures were therefore greatly increased.

“We wanted to have some of the Penguins play with handcuffs,” AFA President Anna Teals explained, “but we were told that might be considered an unfair advantage to our side.”

The match was also notable for the presence, as a spectator, of West Ariddian football legend Lily Mayantar ( http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Lily_Mayantar), now almost a hundred years old. The elderly lady, who kicked off the ball at the start of the match, had come to encourage the Ariddians in their return to the international football stage (although that happened over ten years ago now), and to watch her great-grandson, midfielder Cyril Lange, play. Accordingly, Lange was brought in as a substitute part-way through the match.

As it happened, all went well, and the Rouge-et-Noirs put on a good show for their home crowd. Midfielder Ta I scored the opening goal after twenty-three minutes – her fifth on the national team – and Hanifah Kyaw increased the lead in the thirty-fourth. Going into the second half on the score of 2-0, the Ariddians consolidated their victory as Kyaw scored her twenty-first goal in twenty matches, to the delight of the crowd.

“We’re off to a good start, but there’s still a long, long way to go yet,” she said later. “And I’m really looking forward to going up against the Rejistanian defence!”

Spaam Sports Weekly
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

USFA Announce New Uniforms

The USFA have brought in their new uniforms for the WC28 qualifying season,
after much delay. Designed by Spaamanian uniform suppliers and team sponsors
JW, they replace the 7 year old plain uniforms that had seen the Waffles into
World Cup 27. JW is also a licensed distributor of JMC uniforms, however, JMC
had no say in the current design.

http://spaam.mrdrake.net/spaamcolours.png

http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/3532/sbc34jz.gif
Beginner's Luck
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/jersey--67.jpg Lisburn Mateys 2 - 1 Swilatia http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/swilatia.jpg
It looks like we lost to lisburn mateys. thats a surprise. And it just can't be good. this could cause another failed qualification run. thats right, another one.

Actually, we are all going to squash the lisburn mateys like bugs. this victory for them was beginner's luck. it was only because Sylwester Mathias, one of the Swilatian defenders, was so unlucky that he knocked the ball into swilatia's net near the end of the game. If this did not happen then it would just be a simple draw. but it was just one point, so the title "Swilatia Burnt" is going a little too far. wait, not a lot. honestly they have some beginners luck in the cup, and they suddenly think they are the best team.

Well, another thing is that they made sure that there were less then 3000 swilatia fans in that 70 thousand seat stadium, just because of a news report that said they had no chance in the cup. only one way to describe this propery, and that is that the goverment of lisburn mateys is a bunch of idiots. Just 'cause we say something, they suddenly think that everyone in swilatia believes the same.

Now lets start talking about how the match actually went, not just all this general stuff. After all, this programme is supposed to be about the world cup. Not a general thingy. Thats what "the world sucks" is for.

Okay, so before half-time, nothing happend. just after halftime, there was a huge fight between the teams, with as many as 6 players recieving a yellow card. Twelve minutes after Lisburn Mateys scored a goal, Oscar Valentin scored a goal for Swilatia, balancing the scores to 1-1 which lasted for a long time, and it seemed that the match would end this way.

And thats where the part about our defender scoring a goal for Lisburn Mateys comes in. And once again, it was a really good player, the best of all the Swilatian defenders. So it was just really bad luck.

Well, we are now in the fourth place, but th thing is that we have to be in the second place in the group to qualify. I hate this 7*15 group layout. Really.

Okay, low lets take a look at the group table
GROUP 11 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Lisburn Mateys 2 2 0 0 5 1 4 6
Milchama 1 1 0 0 3 2 1 3
Giant Zucchini 2 1 0 1 3 3 0 3
Swilatia 2 1 0 1 2 2 0 3
Sarzonia 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 1
Oglethorpia 2 0 1 1 0 1 -1 1
Khenas 2 0 0 2 0 4 -4 0

Well, we will get to the top. Anyway, tommorow's match will be a home game against Khenas. should be easy.

Eagles Draw up a tie

NOVA RICHMOND- With Soccer Mania in Full swing, The Virginia nova Eagles tied Rordia 2-2 yesterday. The Game got off to a rough start for the eagles as two balls got by Alex Potter. Fourtiantly that was before the rains which had been plauging Nova Richmond all day had stopped. After that is when the Eagles started to shine. Several players had turns at the Rordian Goalie. Finally after 59 minutes Reserve middie Adam Chrisbrough Got the First Score in VaNova WC History with a beautiful misderection. About five minutes later Harold Freemont,the biggest star in VaNovian Soccer scored on a similar kick. Unfourtuianately none else scored before regulation and it ended up in a 2-2 Tie

Dear diary,

Woah, finally a win...but it was really scrappy, I don't know, maybe we're not not gelling yet...at least the defence looks much better today, maybe this will give us momentum for now...haiz, busy day, so much left to do before the next matchday rolls around...

D

This is the Karelan blog of the temple of Karela.

New Takilness?

The Orange-Blues were as Takilan as they could be in the first match, after a bye. The match was against Spaamian Plijous and the Orange-Blues were outwardly evil in the way they attacked. Since attack means defeat, most of the chances were coped with by the defense of the pijous. That the Orange-Blues were able to score at all were clear misdecisions of the referee, since one was scored from offside and one was a free kick, which was questionable at least. The Plijous had nearly no problems to deal with the weakened defense of only 5 men and only Jeri Kis's lightning-fast reactions saved the scoreline.

Spaamioan Plijous 0 Rejistania 2 (Haraira Tamak~hi 25th, Karela Ikaru 43rd)

Ariddia declared enemy of Karela
Due to the constant use of unkarelan and outright takilan formations, the PDSR of Ariddia is declared an enemy of Karela. Despite their nation being in certain respects a good example, the constant use of 3-4-3 proves that the nation is as unkarelan as a nation can be.

New-Lexington 3 Bazalonia 1
New-Lexington Sports Weekly
33000 Lexitonain fans put behind them the war in Danteri today and came out to watch New-Lexington earn a stunning upset verses Bazalonia. Bazalonia came out hard scoring a goal in fifteen seconds and New-Lexington looked ready to keel over. But Trevor Trudeau put one in the back of the net fifteen minutes later. Just two minutes later Trevor Griggs put back in a rebound and New-Lexington went up 2-1. In the closing minutes Trudeau added yet another goal and the Kings won a shocker 3-1 as thousands of New-Lexitonians swarmed the field. Defenceman Mason Crosby on the win: "This was a great confidence booster after the Baptism of Fire, we really needed this to get us going offence played great defence played great, it was just a superb effort all the way around." New-Lexingon is now second in gruop 12 and this upset of Bazalonian may be the biggest so far in WC 28.
New-Lexington will face FmjPhoenix tomorrow and this may be the Kings biggest test ever. Until then Goooooo Kings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Konigseifert Chronicle

Golden Eagles stun The Lowland Clans, Now Sit Solo Atop Division
Home Stadiums for World Cup also announced

In a shocking turn of events, the Geisenfried Golden Eagles, unranked at the beginning of qualifications, are now completely alone in sitting atop the division standings. Mind you, it is only two games in, but the Golden Eagles' second win came from a surprising victory over the Lowland Clans, who were predicted by many people, including us, to qualify for the 28th World Cup. While the Lowland Clans' loss probably won't keep them from getting the qualifying spot, the upset victory for the Golden Eagles has produced some shockwaves in the Fifteenth Qualifying Division.

The game was back and forth, with several runs on the goal by both the Lowland Clans and Geisenfried. However, with the combination of excellent football by both defenses and several wonderful saves by both Kurt Ackermann and Olander Ilegochios, the Lowland Clans keeper, kept most of the game scoreless. Finally, in the 75th minute, Geisenfried mounted a large offensive, with Karl Genz running up the field, looking for a goal. His shot was wrapped up by Ilegochios, but on the punt, Cristoph Schlegel managed to beat Graham Mackenzie for control, and got the ball up to Georg Canitz. Canitz then proceeded to set up a blistering shot for Samuel Wolfe, putting the ball in position for Wolfe to hammer the ball straight off the pass. However, Ilegochios managed to make a fanstastic save, deflecting the ball with outstretched hands away from the goal. On the following corner in the 79th minute, though, Karl Genz's kick was headed by Conrad Stein past Ilegochios and into the lower right corner of the goal for the decisive go-ahead goal. The Golden Eagles then managed to fend off a furious Lowland Clans counteroffensive in the dying minutes of the game to secure their upset victory.

Geisenfried: 1
The Lowland Clans: 0
Stein- 79' (GSF)

Geisenfried's next game will be against Tynelia, who have one win and one draw to their credit so far.

In related news, after a couple weeks of debate and discussion, the Golden Eagles' home schedule has recently been finalized. With their first three games being away, Geisenfried was allowed more time in deciding which stadiums would host the first World Cup matches in Geisenfried since World Cup 24. Without further adieu, here is the schedule:

HOME SCHEDULE:
vs. Krytenia- Haimuller Coastal Colosseum, Haimuller (FC Haimuller)
vs. Turori- Konigseifert Athletic Arena, Konigseifert City (KSC Athletic)
vs. Talmeria- Oskar Zimmerman Memorial Field, Bischoff (FC Bischoff)
vs. The Lowland Clans- Brandt Valley Dome, Berens (Brandt Valley-Berens)
vs. Tynelia- The Old Castle, Dohmen (Hohen Vereint)
vs. Algal States- Crown Stadium, Konigseifert City (Club Royal)


Division 15
-------------------------------------------------
Team Name: P W D L Pts GF GA GD
-------------------------------------------------
Geisenfried: 2 2 0 0 6 2 0 2
Tynelia: 2 1 1 0 4 1 0 1
The Lowland Clans: 2 1 0 1 3 3 3 0
Krytenia: 1 0 1 0 1 0 0 0
Algal States: 2 0 1 1 1 0 1 -1
Talmeria: 2 0 1 1 1 0 1 -1
Turori: 1 0 0 1 0 2 3 -1



Schedule
Geisenfried 1-0 Talmeria
Geisenfried 1-0 The Lowland Clans
Geisenfried at Tynelia
Krytenia at Geisenfried
Turori at Geisenfried
Geisenfried at Algal States
Bye
Talmeria at Geisenfried
The Lowland Clans at Geisenfried
Tynelia at Geisenfried
Geisenfried at Krytenia
Geisenfried at Turori
Algal States at Geisenfried

RORDIA - DESTINATION NMS
Part 3: Oh No-va!

Rordia could only get a 2-2 draw against Virginia Nova at Rordic City today. A very poor performance from the Rordians meant that they couldn't even get a win against an unranked side. This is the first time since breaking into the world's top 100 that they have dropped points against a bunch of unknowns.
Two goals from Tim Brick in the first half put the home side into a comfortable lead. But the Eagles hit back, with a 59th minute strike from Adam Chrisbrough and a 64th minute goal from Harold Freemont.
Rordia boss Neil van der Wal said after the match: "That was a disgraceful. We were 2-0 up, but then we let in a couple of goals against a team I've never even heard of before. I'm going to have a word with my players, and I'll demand that they begin to show what they're made of."
Midfielder Simon Vance, who set up Brick's first goal, was not as angry as his boss. He said: "At the end of the day, were were far too cocky. We all know about David vs Goliath. When we beat Tadjikistan in World Cup 26, we were the Davids. But now we're the Goliaths and we've been held by total unknowns. We need to learn from this and make sure we don't make the same mistakes again."
This draw means that Rordia have taken just one point from their first two games in World Cup 28 qualifying. In the next round, the Rordians will be having a break. Their next match, in the 4th round, is at home to Nebuleux.

LINE-UP: O'Leary; Craig, Robertson, Underwood (Harrold), Khan (Towell); Mirren, Vance, van der Wal (Farrell), Parkinson; Brick, Monaghan. Booked: Vance.

OTHER RESULTS:
Nebuleux 0 Bedistan 5
Narbithia 2 Anathematic Republics 2


RORDIA PLAYER PROFILES - PART 1:
Tim Brick
Age: 30. Position: Forward. Club: Rordic City Blues.
Tim Brick is Rordia's most famous footballer. The striker was just 18 when he made his debut for the Rordians, and since then, he has scored goals by the bucket-load. He has struck 19 times for the national team, and considering his impressive form this season, there's no reason why he can't score more. Brick's goalscoring has also helped his club, the Rordic City Blues. But despite hitting the back of the net at a rate of almost one every game, the Blues have yet to win the league.
Ciaran Mirren
Age: 29. Position: Left-midfield. Club: Rordic City Reds.
Ciaran Mirren has been a key player for both club and country. The left-winger has had his fair share of bad luck (he has suffered a broken leg and injured his cruciate ligaments), but that doesn't stop in from putting in jaw-dropping performances week in week out. Mirren completed a £3,000,000 move from Eisenhower to Rordic City Reds last season. In his first season at the Reds, he got the league's most assists, won the Player of the Year award, and led his team to their second title in a row.


LEG FLU UPDATE...
Rordian leg flu has struck again! Two more players, both at Rordic City Blues, have broken their legs in training. Fortunately, the injuries are not career-threatening. Rordian scientists are scratching their heads at why there are so many of these injuries occurring. They are now trying to find out why. We'll update you as soon as we get news...

Greycoldandugly Mts Inquisitor


The Team Loses by a smaller margin than expected, Gamblers shocked

As The Team got crushed into small pieces by Ariddia, gamblers from all over the world watched to see how badly they did. Several almost had it right, but they under-estimated the sheer hunger Willie Dee's Extremely Dangerous Hair, which ate, crushed, and popped three of the balls which dared to get near the goal. After the match, it ate a small puppy as well, but that was to be expected. The Team lost by three, once again failing to score a single goal, probably due to their large defense and small offense. One can see that they don't have a manager.

We here at the Inquisitor are not as disapointed as they, because we are considerably more wealthy due to several donations - er, bets - sent in by phone. Thank you for your contributions.

Now, as The Team preps itself to play against Elrich, it has decided to employ the same stratagy they used against Ariddia.
"It almost worked", said Willie Dee, as he was pelted with eggs by PETA activists aiming for his hair, "Our total lack of enthusiam threw their players off in the first half, and they scored far less than we'd expected them to. By the time the second half came, someone must've tipped them off, because they weren't nearly as suspicious, and they scored that last goal with ease."

Well, they may have high expectations, but after a recent poll taken here in Raging Penguins, the results came back that 95% of the people didn't know that there was a Raging Penguins football team, and the other 5% was certain they'd lose against any team, even if it was made out of inanimate objects. As for the staff of the Inquisitor? We're off to have dinner at a fancy restaurant in celebration of our newfound riches.

Matchday 1 - Group 3
Praying2God 3 Harlesburg 0
Georgeonia 1 Vuam and Isma 2
Dauna Hills 2 Gaspland 2

Squids Lose Tight Opener

The squids suffered a dissapointing start to their wc28
campaign, losing their first game despite playing well.
The squids hosted Vuam and Isma, and knew that a
good result would give them an invaluable headstart over
a team who are likely to be the squids' closest
competitors in Group 3. The match started promisingly, with
Georgeonia getting the best of the first half chances, but
they were unable to break through V&I's tough defensive
formation. After the break, however, the Georgeonian
pressure continued, and the home fans were soon rewarded
with a beautiful goal after a dazzling solo run from
Tarquin Ray, a rising star of the squids team. Spurred
in to action by falling behind however, Vuam and Isma
began to attack more strongly, and soon it was the squids
who were struggling to cope. On the seventieth minute a
poor clearance was picked up by a V&I striker who hit a
fantastic dipping shot from outside the area which Nedrick
couldn't reach. The match seemed to be heading for a draw,
but in the closing minutes a rare rash challenge from
veteran defender Ryan gave v&I a penalty, which was duely
converted. The squids left the field dissapointed that
their efforts had been in vain, but their performance was
encouraging, and the team will no doubt take heart from
that. Elsewhere in the group there were no supprises,
Praying2god showed their class by beating Harlesburg
convincingly, and the two lowest ranked teams in the group
Dauna Hills and Gaspland battled it out to a two-all draw.

Sturmkrieger Streak Continues!

The streets of Tinsuvilia lit up once more as the Sturmkrieger beat the highly favored McPsychoville Psychos (#54 KPB) in their second World Cup match ever. The final score of 3-1 was "highly unlikely" according to most specialists, and the Sturmkrieger went into this match as underdogs. Scorers for Tinsuvilia were Kavelt, Answoir, and Davon, all three scores coming in quick succession near the end of the first half. Kavelt, now having scored twice in this World Cup, was asked about the match later on:

"I think our success in these two early matches is wonderful for the team's morale, and it's a great building block for the future, but we can't get our hopes too high. It won't be long before we play the big dogs of our group, and then the real stars come out."

The Sturmkrieger's next match, against 73rd ranked Kelse, is expected by many to be a test of mental endurance for the young team, as so many games consecutively tend to become stressful.

Tinsuvilia:
3 (Kavelt 42, Answoir 43, Davon 45)
McPsychoville:
1 ("X" ?)

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

Casari lays down law early in 2-0 coasting win
Yeah, there's not much to talk about

It was a mildly uninteresting 2-0 match, with a pair from Larini who spent the day firing them in from the edge of the box on a day where the Casaran team ran wild.

But not one to pass up a spot to complain about things that's not her business, Hill managed to take on all of Group 15.

"One goal in 3 matches?" Hill said, looking at the media. "A team of 12 year olds playing a team of dogs would manage more than 1 goal between them, and it took this lot 3 full games to get that far. Get some offense, boys."

The president of the Casari Soccer Authority, Wilson Graham, quickly issued an apology to Krytenia, stating, among other things, "We know you boys are good for it." However, there was no apologies for any other teams in the group.

"It was one goal in three games, there's no excuse for that."

Psychos Calmed

What with the absolute annihilation of the Psychos in Schiavonia - 7-0 the game ended, and the referee dealt out three red cards to PJ Brooks, Michel Lysiak and Thomas Klein - the general consensus was that the team would be able to bounce back against World Cup newbies Tinsuvilia.

Sadly, this bouncing back never actually took place - Tinsuvilia belied their unranked status by taking the fight right to the Psychos from the start. A daisy-cutting shot from striker Davon bobbled and slipped past O'Shea early on, but the goalkeeper had his bacon saved by Damon Arnaud sliding in and forcing the ball out for a corner.

But with all of the pressure Tinsuvilia were putting on the Psychos, it was inevitable that something was bound to give, and give it did. In the space of four minutes, Tinsuvilians Kavelt, Answoir and Davon all scored past O'Shea to send them into the break with a three-goal lead. The Psychos basically slumped from there, only the three-man defence working at all to prevent further losses.

Of the very few attacks they had in the entire second half, the goal was more a matter of luck than judgement - Sabin's cross picked out Tinsuvilian goalkeeper Dieter Rovage, but he failed to clear properly and Damien Lee was in position to blast a volley into the net. This consolation failed to placate the vocal Psycho crowd, with nearly fifty thousand of them jamming the LeMaitre Stadium, and in a fit of rage, one fan jumped the barrier and tackled Tinsuvilian midfielder Warren Feld.

He was ejected, but his sentiments were shared by the rest of the crowd. On the final whistle, they booed the team from the pitch; the second defeat leaves the Psychos stranded dead last in the group with a goal difference of negative nine. Nate Webb's one word spoke volumes - 'Shocking'

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png
Kick Up The Ace
by Rami Niblick in The Algal States

SHOCKING. That's the only word to describe the laughable "performance" put in by the Aces in this bore draw. JJP and Liam Quinnell both looked off form, and the midfield may as well have not bothered passing forward. Neither side created anything meaningful, and it was a dull debut for Yannick Nourisse, relegated to taling the odd goal kick.

Krytenia must now focus on pushing forward on the second match of their "Grand Tour" of four away games by defeating Talmeria.

QUALIFYING SCHEDULE
MD1: NO FIXTURE
MD2: A v ALG D 0-0
MD3: A v TLM ?????
MD4: A v GEI ?????
MD5: A v TYN ?????
MD6: H v TLC ????? (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD7: H v TUR ????? (New City Stadium, Avidia)
MD8: NO FIXTURE
MD9: H v ALG ????? (The Mound, Secklow)
MD10: H v TLM ????? (ArenaWest, Aigburth)
MD11: H v GEI ????? (Denbigh Park, Ousevale)
MD12: H v TYN ????? (Mellion Lane, Davisham)
MD13: A v TLC ?????
MD14: A v TUR ?????

khenas royal newswire
Your #1 source for khenas news
The Khenas Mermaids lost again, this time to Giant Zuchinni. Khenas has not had a single win in this cup, chances of a win soon are very unlikely. The next match will be against Swilatia, which will be slightly easier, but still something the mermaids don't have the smallest chance of winning in. Maybe the khenas mermaids will do better in world cup 29.

Qazox City Herald

Super Start for the Black Oxen
Qazox continued its hot start to qualifing by beating Zorinia 2-1 in Zorinia earlier this evening. The scoring started in the 40th minute as Zorinia #2 scored on a penalty kick. The PK was given as Jarod Megia was called for a illegal tackle in the penalty area. The Zorinian player scored in the attempt ending the 1st half 1-0 in favor of the home squad.

In the second half, Qazox retook control of the match as Maria Gretzky got on the scoreboard only 3 minutes into the 2nd half. She recieved a long leading pass from Andrew Mason (Qazox' only Midfielder) and ran past the slower defense to tie the match at 1-all. Neither team could sustain any attack as both squads countered quickly, but a misplayed pass by Zorinia gave Henri Latrique a wide open run on the Zorinian Keep, and he calmly edged it right past him for the game winner in the 78th minute. At the end of the match, tempers flared a bit as Latrique and a Zorinian defender got into a shoving match. Both men were given a yellow card, and the match ended with Qazox in First place!

Match Stats
Goals-
(Zorinia) #2-40th (PK)
(QAZOX) Maria Gretsky- 48th
Henri Latrique-78th

Cards-
Qazox-Jarod Megia (40th), Henri Latrique-89th
Zorinia-89th



Other matches in Group 5 today
Anastasiania 1-Audioslavia 3
Legalese 1-The Remote Islands 0


Current Standings after Match Day 2

Team W-D-L Pts GF GA GD
Qazox 2-0-0 6 4 1 +3
Legalese 2-0-0 6 2 0 +2
Audioslavia 1-0-0 3 3 1 +2
Zorina 1-0-1 3 5 4 +1
The Islands of Qutar 0-0-1 0 0 1 -1
The Remote Islands 0-0-2 0 2 5 -3
Anastasiania 0-0-2 0 1 5 -4

Up next for Qazox is a Home game versus The Remote Islands. As the the next three games are at home plus a bye, a Win against TRI will leave Qazox in very good position to try to advance. Any thing less that a win could spell disaster.

Matchday 2 - Group 3
Georgeonia 0 Starblaydia 2
Harlesburg 1 Gaspland 3
Dauna Hills 4 Vuam and Isma 0

Squids Lose Again!

Two games and two defeats for the Squids means that they
are already starting to fall behind some of the other teams
in group three. Whilst the fans are dissapointed, in the
team's defence they played well for the second game in
succession, and held their opponents, by far the highest
ranked team the squids have ever faced, to only two goals,
one either side of half time. Indeed, the squids themselves
were unlucky not to score, creating some good chances,
including a powerful shot from Dica in the first half which
missed the goal by inches, with the keeper well beaten.
Nedrick made some excellent saves in goal for the squids.
Elsewhere in group three, the form book seemed to have gone
out of the window, with the bottom two seeds of the group
both inflicting heavy defeats upon their higher-ranked
opponents. Georgeonia will hope to score their first points
in tonight's game, but facing a trip to the impressive
looking praying2god, they will need to put in a fantastic
performance to come away with any points.

MD01: Home to Vuam and Isma L 1-2
MD02: Home to Starblaydia L 0-2

Young Guns Harpoon Squids
Starblaydia off to decent away start

One wonders how a team such as Georgeonia can be disappointed when losing 2-0 to the third-best team in the World, who came third as the last World Cup and also won the cup twelve years ago, dontcha know.

Such are the high ambitions of the Squids' fans that when a young Starblaydi side come to their patch and put a goal into their net either side of half-time, they ended up disappointed. Fillipo Zinaldi scored the first with his fifth goal for his country, latching onto a Rujano through-ball and dinking the ball past Aldous Nedrick's flailing left hand in the Georgeonian goal. This strike definitely dampened the home fans' hopes and after the half-time break it only got worse.

Petyr Kaminsky, the twenty-two year-old midfielder from Internashionale, got the goal which effectively killed off the Squids' hopes of taking a point from the game. Almost straight from the kick-off Marissa Cortez fed Maivia Von Erich, who fired from long-range and won a corner, a deflection coming from the thigh of Larus Owino. Cortez swung in the corner and it fell to Kaminsky on the edge of the area. One pile-driver later and Starblaydia were two-up and cruising.

Janica Rocca and Zinaldi both came close to extending Starblaydia's lead, though perhaps the best chance was that of Maivia Von Erich, who fired directly at Nedrick when one-on-one. Starblaydia now turn their attentions to fellow Atlantian Oceania nation Dauna Hills as they visit the Nemyan National Stadium, with tickets still available.

Georgeonia 0 - 2 Starblaydia
(None) - (Zinaldi 41, Kaminsky 47)

The Haraki Hawks were in unfamiliar territory as they took the field against the Alasdair I Frosticus team in the Archregimancy. The entire team facing them was composed of identical images of one person, and it was somewhat unnerving for the Harakian players. Still, Lloyd Vargas had spent some time explaining how as they weren't real, they couldn't beat real players who could be adaptable and think on their feet ... It wasbasically a load of unimaginative drivel designed to pep them up. Vargas hadn't been the same since the accusations of him insulting the Nouvelle Angleterre team had been overblown so much in the press the previous week, with many journalists jumping on the bandwagon to call him a poor sport, and no matter how many times he publically said what he had actually said, they still continued to go after him.

But Haraki captain Mike Zendar had been thinking, and as they huddled together prior to the start of the game, he gave a speech describing how yes, they were all identical and they were all dreams of a single good player. But that meant that they all had the same strengths and weaknesses, and they all thought the same way. It meant as long as the Hawks could figure out their patterns, they would be able to beat them. And so the kickoff came with the Hawks' eyes trained on their opponents. The Imperial Team got the kickoff and started a forward drive which resulted in one of the forward Tzimisces pulling off a sizzling shot right at Harakian goalkeeper Mark Stone, who was unexpectant despite having watched the game tapes. It got right past him and gave Alasdair I Frosticus a one goal lead only four minutes in.

However, the Hawks managed to play better for a long time following that. Several encounters between Tzimisces and Hawks players ended up with the Hawks with the ball making their way down the field. By forty minutes in, although the Hawks were still down in points, they had all-but figured out the individual weaknesses of Alasdair I Frosticus' player. Although he was good, they knew ways to beat him. Only three minutes before the end of half, Thomas Neils made a pass up to Mike Zendar near the goal, who took his opportunity and made a one-timer shot into the top corner of the net, tying the score just before half.

When the Hawks retook the field, it was after some time of careful strategic planning and being shouted at by the coach. Mike Zendar seemed on a roll as he played a one-man game for some time at the start of the half, and in one spectacular instance he got a short pass from Julie Vern in the midfield and, on a breakaway, took it all the way down the field, avoiding one of the midfield Tzimisces and deking past another of them as a defender to make a second goal into the top of the net.

Ten minutes later, once again the deadly combination of Thomas Neils and Mike Zendar that had been so dangerous in tournaments before shone through once again as it had at the end of the first half. As Julie Vern brought the ball up the field she made a pass over to Neils, ran past a midfield coming at her and received a pass back before quickly passing to Neils once again, giving Zendar time to set up an offensive position. Neils used his superb passing ability to drop the ball right in front of Zendar, who spent several seconds getting closer to the front of the net and shot the ball. It slid past the keeper and into the right side of the net, completeing Zendar's hat trick and giving Haraki a two-goal lead.

The Tzimisces seemed somewhat angered at Zendar's domination of the field and took action against him. One of them blatantly walked up, hauled off and punched him in the side of the neck. He collapsed, having trouble breathing, the referee running up blowing his whistle furiously. However, the sheer quantity of Tzimisces on the field made it difficult for him to decide which one had attacked Zendar and therefore which one to red card, and he ended up simply giving it to a random one. Alicia Ribald was out with the flu, sitting in her hotel room watching on the television and screaming at the top of her lungs until she was violently sick about getting revenge. Matthew Thompson, Haraki's second reserve forward, took the field but could not fill the gap left by the team captain. Haraki did not score again for the rest of the game but rather played a defensive midfield action, stopping offensive drives from the Alasdair I Frosticus team.

The game ended at ninety minutes, Zendar lying on the bench being tended to by the team doctor while holding an icepack to his neck, which had a dark red mark on it. The doctor's estimate gave him a minorly displaced vertebrae with several others bruised and minor damage to the blood vessels in the side of his neck, which had caused him to collapse on the field. Although it would all heal on its own, with the exception of the displaced vertebrae which was reset by the doctor, he would be out of play for at least a week, taking him out of the game against Iksonic and possibly any exhibition games played on the bye day. Despite this bit of foul play, Haraki had won 3-1 and would play Iksonic the next week back in Atherlon, at Champion Field.

Haraki 3 - Alasdair I Frosticus 1

(4) Tzimisces
Zendar (42)
Zendar (55)
Zendar (66)

"Can you mail me a copy of the piece."

"Sorry, Mr. Ford. I can't."

"But you have done it?"

"Well... no."

"You promised me you would do a Spaam v Schiavonia match report with a whole load of dog references in it!"

"Yes, I did! But you can't make match reports for a newspaper if you've been fired from it, can you!"

"But your not going to get fired! I keep telling you, I've got friends in high places, I'll keep you in the job."

"How? I've already been fired! What the fuck are you going to do? Take over the newspaper and use it as a little plaything? Get with reality, Ford! You're a nobody, a has-been. You are not important to anyone!"

And with that, Winston slammed the phone down.

- - - - -

The Schiavone Scribe
HARDIMAN IN "CASH FOR INSULTS" SCANDAL

After cauding sales of our newspaper fall to a new record low, and after being on the verge of being sacked, our Head Sports Reporter Winston Hardiman finally cracked under the pressure to reveal all.

Hardiman says that former SFF Chief and national hate figure Michael Ford had been promising to pay him six times his usual earnings to annoy Schiavonia's future opponents, thus getting a dig back at his former employers.

"At first, I wasn't so keen on the idea," Hardiman told us after he'd calmed down a bit, "but he said it would just be the occasional snide comment every now and again."

"But it soon started spiralling out of control. We got away with it at the FIFA Cup of Nations because our readership overseas was so small. But once it was the World Cup Qualifiers... well, then people began to take note."

"First there was the dig at the rest of our group, then Qutar, then we Spaamed Spaam. It all ended up getting too much. It consumed me."

The negative portrayal of opponents hit the Scribe's readership hard, which ended last night when the paper's editor received the writer's report

"He promised me that I wouldn't lose my job over the matter no matter what, because he was in with the management here. Now I know that that, along with all of the other things that he promised me, were all fabrications."

After admitting to his part in the scandal, the Scribe's editor said that he admired Hardiman's honesty, and asked him of he would consider taking his post back if asked. Hardiman refused, saying that he is a man of honour, and that he would not be able to continue to do the job to his full ability.

Reports that stories appearing in Spaam Sports Weekly apparently showing Schiavonia's national team manager Rodney Lowe in unusual relations with a dalmatian came from Michael Ford are as yet unconfirmed.

Lowe's team played Spaam in a friendly game yesterday, in front of a chorus of dog noises from the home fans. Once again, it failed to annoy the Sloths, as they ran out 2-0 winners, with Tony Tarmey scoring his 39th Schiavonia goal and Seamus Bradley his first.

However, there was embarrasement for the SFF's plans to showcase their new white away kit for the first time in the game. Spaam took to the field in their orange and white home shirts, which caused problems for the visitors, who's first choice strip is orange and second choice while. The team eventually took to the field all dressed in the Schiavone first choice goalkeeper's shirt, which is yellow with red trim, while Ben Kershaw wore green in goal.

For the return game at the King Francesco Stadium, the SFF have announced that they will be wearing a special yellow and red commemerative kit commissioned by Ediraf Schiavonia and the SFF, just to avoid a further clash with Spaam's two mainly orange and white kits.

Chuck Norris News
For All Of Your Fighting Norris Coverage

As matchday two expires, many underdogs across the tourney go home with smiels on their faces. Unranked Virginia Nova draws 46-ranked Rordia 2-2, Unranked Homieville draws the 44-ranked Kaze Progressa 0-0, 205-ranked Gaspland defeats 57-ranked Harlesburg 3-1, 124-ranked Nouvelle Angleterre
draws 7-ranked Hockey Canada 1-1, 193-ranked The Emperialist keeps 62-ranked Elrich to a scoreless match, Unranked Tinsuvilia defeats 54-ranked and recent Cup of Harmony champions McPsychoville 3-1, 85-ranked Oglethorpia forges a 0-0 draw with the generally-unstoppable Sarzonia, 201-ranked New-Lexington beats 79-ranked Bazalonia 3-1, 106-ranked Atheistic Right holds 15-ranked Tadjikistan to a 0-0 draw, 40-ranked Nanakaland loses at home to unranked Alberthame 2-3, The 42-ranked Lowland Clans lose at home to unranked Geisenfried 0-1, 18-ranked Krytenia was held to a 0-0 draw by 103-ranked Algal States... the list is endless. Yet of course, on this historic day of upsets, the Fighting Norris, self-proclaimed master of the art of the upset, fails to even draw 4th-ranked Squornshelous.

Mr Chuck Norris 0
Squornshelous 2 (Vasili Petrov 72, 88)

The match may have been a good one, but with quite the sour ending. The complex 3-2-2-1-2 formation of Squornshelous punished the stamina of the 2-3-5 "five-forward" formation of the Fighting Norris. The entire first half was just drive after drive by the wave of Fighting Norris forwards, but only to find thier attack foiled by one of the many waves of the Squornshelous defense. However, the constant attacking kept the ball on the Squornshelous half of the field, keeping the match scoreless for the entire first half.

However, the Fighting Norris offense was evidently out of gas as they began to charge less and less until the battle for possesion was primarily at midfield rather than in Squornshelous territory. This became a problem as the stamina of the Fighting Norris midfield also began to fail. In what seemed like a matter of seconds, Squornshelous was finally on a substantial offensive strategy. The two defenders of the Fighting Norris may have been rested, but were no match for the clearly-superior Squornshelous forwards. It was in minute 72 when Squornshelous finally drew first blood. Although the Fighting Norris were still in the match according to the numbers, they were in no way physically capable of competing much longer.

However, in what could be closely paralleled with Germany's Battle of the Bulge in World War II, the Fighting Norris gathered every last bit of energy they had and funneled it into one last offensive. They charged deep into Squornshelous territory, even pulling off a couple of decent shots on goal, but there was nothing left to give from the players and as time ran short, Squornshelous began one final stand of their own. They had little to no resistance and easily knocked in their second goal in the 88th minute. Time expired and the match ended with a score of 2-0 in Squornshelous' favor.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hello, this is Bob Janney! Not to worry everyone, this is to be expected, an upset is a privilege. We have learned from it and it has help our team grow. Now, I regret to inform you all that I will probably not give group analysis until around matchday five to seven. It was unfair of me last tourney to analyze team conditions of squad who had played less matches than everyone else due to byes. For instance, almost every team in our group currently has three points, but that makes Squornshelous and Bettia look worse off than they actually are. In fact, they are both 1 for 1, while most other teams in our group are 1 for 2 (much like ourselves). Our next match is against 23-ranked Bettia. I guarentee that no matter what the score is at the end of the match, it will be a good one."

World Cup 28 Schedule of the Fighting Norris:
Matchday 1: Vs. Five Civilized Nations (Won 4-2)
Matchday 2: Vs. Squornshelous (Loss 0-2)
Matchday 3: At Bettia
Matchday 4: At Cuation
Matchday 5: On Bye
Matchday 6: Vs. Slakaj
Matchday 7: Vs. Burning Penguins
Matchday 8: At Five Civilized Nations
Matchday 9: At Squornshelous
Matchday 10: Vs. Bettia
Matchday 11: Vs. Cuation
Matchday 12: On Bye
Matchday 13: At Slajak
Matchday 14: At Burning Penguins

Fighting Norris World Cup 28 Record: (1-0-1)

Harlesburg Exporters of Cheese
Warriors 3-Falcons 0
How apropriate that Harlesburg's largest export is cheese for that is exactly what their performance against Praying2God's Warriors stunk of in thier first up round robin match away from home at Praying2God.
After an agressive and eager performance from Harlesburg Striker come Midfielder Adolf Galatan where he looked to make all the early plays for either side only to find his attempts brought down by in form Praying2God Keeper Sarah Larson and more so by the bumbling at best efforts of those around him.

Galatan's greatest breakout came in the 21st minute only for the play to be cut short by Striker Rolston Chambers failing to hold onto a simple through ball and with an almost clear shot at goal it appeared his nerves got the better of him and he completly misfired the one touch barely connecting as it trickled harmlessly to the keeper who hoofed it down to Husband Thomas whos precise run and shot in the early seconds of the 22nd minute gave Praying2God an 1-0 lead.

Harlesburg looked to settle things down after this and try and get some composure and it seemed to work until the 32nd minute when once again failing to respect the possesion of the ball it was given away and Praying2God made Harlesburg pay dearly in the 34th, Larson with a back flick to Brittany Law who squeezed the ball into the lower left corner of the net.
2-0 was the score at halftime.

With the performance so far it was expected that Coach Thomas Liebel would send his team a rocket up the backside in his halftime speech and once again the tempo went up but this time it was in defence and the Falcons preying on some of the smaller members of the Warriors side but all this did was find 4 Falcons booked(Rietick Callusk; 47th, Barry Nully; 50th,
Raymond Nubelier; 53rd and Federine Moskinel in the 63rd and 78th)
Federine Moskinel is assured of missing the next match and not just on his double booking but also in his poor performance on defence letting to many oppurtunities for the Praying2God side with one being converted in the 51st minute off the head of Sarah Toliver, the majority of the Flacons were up and once agai a careless giveaway was pounced upon by the opposition.

Harlesburg will need to pickup their performance against relative newcomers Gaspland and the way they(Harlesburg) have been Harlesburg will need to fight it out if they want any points from the match.

The Holy Empire Football Association today announced that they would not comment on their recent 3-1 home loss to fellow old-timers Haraki, citing the latter nation's 'fine, complete, though slightly biased' match report as removing any necessity for HEFA to comment further.

A HEFA official delivered the news of the lack of comment to the international footballing community while wearing a bio-hazard suit in order to protect himself against the germs that so pollute ordinary reality.

MD 3 SCORES (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=10866625#post10866625)

Tables to follow after I've had what's already a late lunch.

Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Domestic-International-Star-News-Today
Sports Section
Milchama win friendly
In a well played but not so competitive friendly the Milchama Warriors barely beat the ASMV Sea Dragons 2-1. An early goal by Darian Flinters and a second half goal by Spot Nielson was enough to secure victory in front of an excited home crowd. The Warriors also experimented using up and coming coach Alex Lans as the coach for the game. Coach Lans said, "We played well today and I'm most impressed with Johnny Rintell who sparkled again. His runs were essential to our win today as he really loosened up the Sea Dragon defence in the middle so we could exploit the wings well which led to our first goal. Then Copperlee played excellent in the second half as he proved yet again why he is such an essential part to our team. His play elevated the team to another level and was a key reason why we won the game as well."
We can hope Lans gets the job as his media reports are very informing and make our jobs much easier. So easy in fact that we won't even do a match report.

Politically Incorrect, Lloyd Vargas?
From the Haraki News Network, Print Edition

Sam Sherman, Atherlon. The Haraki Hawks Nation Football Team has been plagued with controversy lately, largely due to comments by Lloyd Vargas, who seems to be losing 'PC Values', as he put it, as he grows older. First it was a comment of his which was taken as an insult to the Nouvelle Angleterre team, reprinted in full here: "If I believed everything the media said about this game and this team, I'd think this was just a good chance to get warmed up." The comment itself was more disdainful towards the media's attitude towards his team this year than to the team he was facing that day, but he was misquoted until all sensible meaning had been lost.

The latest comment which has raised some controversy, although nowhere near that of the first, was him discussing Matchday Two results, most specifically Nouvelle Angleterre 1 - Hockey Canada 1.

The full quote of what he said is below:

"We beat the first guys, and the second guys are the best team in the group. Does that make us better than Hockey Canada? I don't give a damn. I've watched the Serpents beat the Tigers beat Atherlon beat the Serpents. Other matches don't mean a damn thing once you're on the field, and they can't judge whether or not one team's better than the other. The only test of one team against another is them playing, which will come soon enough."

However, he was misquoted in the media, most likely intentionally, as having said "...Hockey Canada? I don't give a damn." The media seems to be running wild with Vargas this year, although it is most often with misquotes and speculation. Decidedly untrue rumours that he would be dropping Mike Zendar, Richard Weber and Mark Stone - Haraki's three star players - earned him a swarm of angry emails and phone calls, including a number of death threats. By the time he managed to publically disprove the rumour on national television, his reputation had been tarnished in the public's eyes.

The rumours appear to have been started by 'some drunk guy in a bar' who thought that "If the Hawks dropped those damn fuckers, I could've made the team. Heh. Yeah. Vargas dropping the three best of them, that's something I'll see the day after tomorrow, if I've smoked enough crack."

Two days later, when he'd apparently taken a lot of hallucinogenic drugs, apparently he called his friends and reported he had just seen Vargas publically drop the three on live television.

The media bias against Vargas does not seem to be disappating, sadly. It is a shame, because the man has done so much for the national football team. He deserves better than to be slandered so horrifically. The Haraki News Network plans to run a series of print articles and television spots to disprove these rumours about Lloyd Vargas, hopefully helping the morale of the team out some. It would appear to be the least we could do.

Haraki plays Iksonic on Matchday Three, with captain and star Mike Zendar sitting out the game due to a neck injury from an attack during the game versus Alasdair I Frosticus.

Sam Sherman is the HNN's leading football commentator.

Streak Ends At Two!

Kelse was the club responsible for the deflation of Tinsuvilia's World Cup beginners luck today as they defeated the young squad 3-0. Forseen by many as the match where Tinsuvilia would falter, the Sturmkrieger did not dissappoint their critics. Following unexpected wins to #179 Vejar and #54 McPsychoville, the young Sturmkrieger grew an unnecessarily large head, thinking themselves unbeatable.

#73 Kelse fixed that for them today.

Scoring three goals over the course of the match, and doing it with grace, Kelse completely upset Tinsuvilia emotionally. The rest of the season will most likely go now as the experts predicted. Hurt, hurt, and more hurt.

From The Tinsuvilia Times

The Thorn In Vilita's Side is a Unicorn Horn

Queen Sonya had to smile. If one thing was becoming certain, The Mystical Unicorns were proving to be a real thorn in the side of mighty Vilita. That had been the case in WC27 qualifiers and continued here in the qualifiers for WC28.

The match opened with both defenses playing fast and furious. Neither side could manage much of anything until Vilita took the lead on a late first half goal in the 44th minute. It would only stay that way for the duration of the mid-match break. Ireth Telemnar (new starter for the match) found the Unicorn’s great goal machine Altáriël Telperiën just 4 minutes into the second stanza and the ball easily beat the Vilitan keeper to the net.

The defensive pressure from both sides returned and neither managed to score again. The match ended in a 1-1 draw. But stealing a point from Vilita is a great accomplishment from our point of view. It is something that we can definitely build on.

Next up for the Mystical Unicorns is a trip to Kaze Progressa who have been slipping of late. Hope is to steal another point and get right back into the flow of the group.

WC28 Upset Watch
Group 3 - Gaspland continued to impress people with a 2-1 win over V&I
Group 4 - Bettia got drop-kicked by Mr Chuck Norris 3-1
Group 5 - The Islands of Qutar surrendered a point to Anastasiania in a 1-1 draw. Qazox also failed to do anything in a 0-1 loss to The Remote Islands
Group 6 - Haraki looked completely abysmal in an 0-3 shellacking from Iksonic
Group 7 - Jeruselem also gave a point to upstart Rorysville in a 2-2 draw. ASMV suffered a setback by allowing Boudra-Boudra to return home with 3 points from a 1-2 effort.
Group 8 - Spaam earned no love from its own territory in a 1-1 draw.
Group 9 - Olivery managed nothing in a 0-0 draw with Vejar - who? CR Oscsomethingorother beat Schiavonia 1-0.
Group 12- St Happenin proved it was happenin against Bazalonia 2-2
Group 13- Apologetic Kittens need to apologize after a 0-0 effort against Northern Caesarea

Another BIG day for the underdogs.

http://www.imgcity.net/server/primary/SportsnetRV.PNG
Rorysville's Moose Factory has something to Cheer about the 147th Ranked Rorysville Earned a 2-2 draw against the 8th Ranked Jeruselem. Reports of Mass Celebrations in the Universitytown District of Rorsyville where the Matches are watched on Big Screens in the University RV City Stadium. No Violence from any of these Incidents just alot of traffic jams and a few Drunken Disorderly arrests.

"We are absolutly thrilled with the Performance so far in the World Cup. a tie against a top ten opponent is going to only bolster this growing program a good showing in this cup with RV watching could gain government funding for this program,whih it could use."-Coach McKlintok after the Tie against Jeruselem

Rorysville's Results in it's First three games so far are a 1-0 win over Philthealbino, a 4-1 loss against Becquerelia,and a 2-2 tie against Jeruselem.

* Weird music theme *

Rachel "Good morning, I'm Rachel Goldstein reporting at the World Cup 28 for JGN. With me is Women's World Cup coach Lisa Simpson"

Lisa: "Morning viewers"

Rachel "What do you think of today's game. A 2 all draw with a 147 ranked team doesn't look good."

Lisa: "Well, it's early days. The team hasn't gelled yet. Rorysville played well, but our team has much improvement to do. The defense looks shaky but Jeruselem tend to be much better team at the end and look shaky at the beginning. It isn't unusual for Jeruselem to lose a game real early."

Rachel "The attack isn't really working that well."

Lisa "True, but we've only played two games. It's far too early to judge really. The attack is rusty, the defense needs settling and midfield is working. No panic Rachel, as on Match day 7 things will be much more in perspective."

Rachel "Other results are Boudra-Boudra beating the sea dragons 2-1 and Becquerelia registering another win, this time against Philthealbino 2-0"

Lisa "Becquerelia are playing really well. They deserve to be top team at the moment. If they keep this form later is another question. The sea dragons should have won their game, but I think they are just starting up. At the end, they will be 2nd. The Boudra team aren't that bad either, as they have shown us today"

Rachel "The keeper doesn't look happy"

Lisa "Oh, the keeper has been a little ill. Not the best of shape at the moment, but that flu will be gone soon."

Rachel "Nedalia had the bye, but Hockey Canada got a win today."

Lisa "Yes, those Canucks are just getting into gear. Alasdair I Frosticus are not rookies by any means and the 2-1 win starts what I believe will be a successful campaign for the Canucks"

Rachel "So, that's all from the World Cup 28. Extended highlights from the Jeruselem and Hockey Canada game tonight, as well as the Boudra-Boudra game in place of Nedalia game since Nedalida had a bye."

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg

Sea Dragons Play Dead

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from Stadii Se Draggonnii Arcea.

The Sea Dragons had been a bit worried over the match with Boudra-Boudra today, and it turns out that worry was well-founded. Boudra-Boudra came out with a vengeance while the ASMV squad appered to be asleep. And it really looked like that for much of the match.

Only once did the Sea Dragons seem to wake up. And that was in the 54th minute when Evan Evans made a nifty tackle that sent the ball towards Jenni Ulrich. She badly misplayed the ball, but Micah Swift was there to set things straight with a long bomb to Porche Alexander in the penalty box, just barely onside. But the defense quickly converged on her and the ball shot free. Pablo Iglesias found it and sent a laser of a shot at the Boudra-Boudra keeper who knocked it away, but not far enough. Evans was there to send it into the back of the net.

The Sea Dragons then promptly returned to their slumber, allowing BB to escape with a 2-1 victory.

Next up for ASMV is a visit from upstart Rorysville who today earned a draw against Jeruselem. Ouch. We will have to play much better if we don’t want to be looking up at everyone in the group. Bequerelia won their 3rd of 3 matches today, and the 9 points they have look like a mountain from where we sit. But we can gain ground due to their bye date. We really need to take care of Rorysville because after that we begin a 6 match road trip. Double Ouch.


GP W D L GF GA GD Pts
BEQ 3 3-0-0 7 1 6 9
JER 2 1-1-0 4 2 2 4
ROR 3 1-1-1 4 6 -2 4
KER 2 1-0-1 2 1 1 3
AMV 2 1-0-1 2 2 0 3
BOU 3 1-0-2 2 4 -2 3
PHI 3 0-0-3 0 5 -5 0

Friend Watch
Hypocria edged out Nebuleux 2-1
Vilita still has trouble with Dorian and Sonya after a 1-1 draw
Milchama hammered Oglethorpia 4-2
Tadjikistan easily out gunned Radke 4-2
Cuation and Ariddia both had bye dates.

The Underdogs Cup?
From the Atherlon Times

Sports blurb by Tom Bucket, Atherlon Times' football correspondent.

It appears that World Cup XXVIII is turning out to be a big cup for the underdogs, leading to a new informal nickname of 'The Underdogs Cup', at least for the time being. As you can see from the score tally, the new teams, those without experience and with ... spunk ... are actually pulling off victories, draws and outstanding performances against teams which, supposedly, are much better.

A perfect example is our own Haraki Hawks, who last night played against the unranked Iksonic. This is their first World Cup, and it appears the media pressure on the Hawks finally took its toll. Coach Lloyd Vargas was bleary-eyed and exhausted as he had been suffering from insomnia recently. He denies it is due to the media pressure on his every word, but most people suspect it is due to the stress caused by such a problem.

As well, the team captain, Mike Zendar, had to watch the entire game from the bench. Following a hat trick of goals against Alasdair I Frosticus, an unprovoked attack by one of their ... player ... brought him out with damage to his neck. He sat and watched as Iksonic destroyed his team in a 3-0 shutout. The entire team seemed down in the dumps. Perhaps it was the absence of Mike Zendar on the pitch - Alicia Ribald, just having recovered from a nasty bout of the flu, was no comparison to Zendar at all - or perhaps it was the lacklustre coaching job by Vargas. Either way, the Hawks suffered a thrashing, at home in Atherlon no less. Here's hoping it doesn't start another descent into loss the same way our first loss in World CUp XXVII did.

Vargas has announced an exhibition match for next week. As has become custom, the national team will be playing a Haraki Football League club on their bye days. Last year, it was AUFC and the Kiros Tigers. The first team to be played this year are the Arkia Serpents. Many people speculated it would be North Susa, most likely the best club in all Haraki, but without their star goalkeeper - Mark Stone - and several other star players, including Richard Weber, their leading goal scorer, they wouldn't be the same team. The Serpents will be missing the Ribald sisters' offensive duo, expert ball handler Julie Vern, midfield Luke Ford, and their goalkeeper Susana Hamilton, who is the Hawks' primary reserve, although there is talk she may play for the Serpents for this one game. Next week should also be an interesting time to see if the Underdogs' Cup continues to live up to its name.

Yet another Holy Empire Football Association official in a biohazard suit - or possibly the same one (who can tell) - today issued a press release on the Holy Empire's 2-0 loss to group top seeds Hockey Canada.

"We have no comment. The Dream Simulacra are working as expected, despite an unexpected glitch when sleeping Hockey Canadians in the ground - no doubt put to sleep by their team's easy dominance - interfered with the oneirologists' equipment, causing the Tzimisces simulacra to play the entire second half in hockey masks. We are investigating the cause of this malfunction, and do no expect a repeat."

Succes at last, but at a price!

Dushanbe - The moment of truth, thats how the fans called this, if they couldnt win today, they could never qualify. Everyone, including critic Georgi Shpagin, was on the tip of their chair watching as the Tigers played their second qualification match. Opponent was 193th ranked Radke, hardly dangerous from an outsiders perspective but reality is different.

Radke managed to take an early lead, but the Tigers quickly equalized. Only to see Radke jump away again when they beat Suchomlinov a second time with a shot from the second line. The Tigers were lucky that their strikers finally woke up after sleeping through the Atheistic Right match. Saradov, expected to make the difference made a second equalizing goal for Tigers, Zyrianov gave the Tigers the lead and Tulberdiev finished Radke off in the 85th minute.

Tadjikistan easily out gunned Radke 4-2

Thats how friends from another nation put it, but not everyone agrees to it, Shpagin was the first to comment: 'We outgunned them but it wasnt easy at all, an old problem pops up again. The defenders just forgot to do their homework and allowed an unknown team with no ambitions at all to score twice. They're lucky that we have some experienced guys running around in the front line, or we would have lost here.'

A more positive but mostly similar explanation was heard from coach Alexander Zaev, who was happy that they won but not satisfied with the way it was done 'Now i'm definitly thinking about making changes in my selection. We won, but we gave our opponents to much space. I'll step up the training programs now and stay on the lookout for an extra man to strenghten our defenses. We have one last chance to try it with this team, tomorrow against Northern Ceasarea. Its the last one of the 'easy' matches before we get the top teams of this group.'

MD1: Bye
MD2: Atheistic Right - Tadjikistan D 1-1
MD3: Tadjikistan - Radke W 4-2
MD4: Northern Ceasarea - Tadjikistan
MD5: Apologetic Kittens - Tadjikistan
MD6: Tadjikistan - Pastorville
MD7: Tadjikistan - Spruitland
MD8: Bye
MD9: Tadjikistan - Atheistic Right
MD10: Radke - Tadjikistan
MD11: Tadjikistan - Northern Ceasarea
MD12: Tadjikistan - Apologetic Kittens
MD13: Pastorville - Tadjikistan
MD14: Spruitland - Tadjikistan

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
Mateys defeated but proud

The Mateys today came up against the strong favourites to win the group, Sarzonia who are ranked 13 in the world in matchday 3 of world cup qualifying. The Mateys brought along 8000 loyal supporters who sang their hearts for the entrie game and the Mateys layers and manager Paul Kirk thanked them for their support at the end of the game.

In a tactical switch the Mateys started the game playing 4-5-1 with Kirk trying to keep the ball bogged down in midfield and then hopefully get a lucky break later in the game

When the match began the Mateys where instantly on the back foot Kirks plan didnt seem to be working as Sarzonia's passing was excellent. The Mateys back four and goals keeper where outstanding in the 1st half making tackle after tackle and Chuck Gonzalo was trying to force his away permanently into the starting 11 did nothing to hurt his chances. The best chance to break the deadlock was at 38 minutes when Calvin Olson lobbed the ball over Marvin Andrews for Kenny Cooper to run onto luckily Brian Livingston made himself look big as Kenney tried to take it round him and delightfully smothered the ball. Srazonia also rattled the cross bar twice in this half.

The Mateys came out after half time feeling please with themselves after reaching half time on level terms, just another 45 minutes to go.

And so the Mateys defended hard again at the start of the 2nd half but they began to get tired and Sarzonias goal came at 62 minutes from Kenny Cooper.

This seemed to wake the Mateys up but the only sustained possession they had was wasted when Aaron Mc Cann took a shot from well outside the box which was easily saved by Roger Treadway.

Sarzonia's last goal came towards the end of the game from midfielder Jarret Sanderson.

The Mateys were obviously disappointed but where very happy with their performance against a far superior team.

The Mateys fans stayed in the stadium for 10 minutes after the match had finished singing the likes of ,"We'r not Bedistan, we'r Lisburn Mateys!!....."
and ,"we''ll support you ever more!!!...."

Final score
Sarzonia 2 - 0 Lisburn Mateys
Kenny Cooper - 62
Jarret Sanderson - 83

Last Gasp spoils day
Gaspland 3-Harlesburg 1

In a stunning topsy-turvy match the Harlesburg Falcons went down to a suprisingly dominant Gaspland 'One Post Wonders' team.

Harlesburg started off the scoring in the 28th minute when Rolston Chambers found an unmarked Adrian in the box at the far end, after jiving his way through two defenders, Adrian a man of short stature still got up to header the ball into the Bottom left corner of the net.

Gaspland managed to reply in the 42nd minute after exerting strong pressure on the Harlesburg net for a good 3 minutes including 4 corner kicks when the flood gates eventually broke it was with Pastor Dentor being arguablly pushed out of the way but none of the officials seemed to see it before the #8 slammed the ball home.

At the end of the half the score remained one all.

Not much happened in the second half except for each team taking 5 direct shots on goal until the 84th minute when neither team being happy with a draw used their respective benches to add a spark to the game, for Gaspland it worked.

Almost instantly Gaspland's gamble paid off with the reserve striker powering home a half volley from 26 yards out and then again in the 88th minute the same player standing on halfway alone recieved a clearing pass after a strong Falcon attack, Harlesburg Keeper Patrick Montmorry was up and was chipped.

Harlesburg can only look forward to the bye and hope to get their game sorted out while 'The One Post Wonders' are on top undefeated after 2 rounds.

Matchday 3 - Group 3
Starblaydia 3 Dauna Hills 0
Praying2God 2 Georgeonia 0
Vuam and Isma 1 Gaspland 2

Squids Still Playing Well! Squids Still Losing!

Yes, despite another skillful and professional performance
from the Squids last night, they came out second best to
their higher-ranked opponents once again. Praying2god simply
proved to be too strong for the Squids, and two first half
goals had effectively killed this game as a competative
match by the time the players left the field for the break.
The Squids continued to battle hard for a breakthrough, but
Praying2god were happy to sit back and defend their two-nil
lead, and the Squids could find no way to break through the
tough Praying2god defence. Captain Benge expressed the team's
frustration with oppening the campaign with three straight
defeats, but also pointed out that the Squids' matches have
been against the first, second and fourth seeds in group 3,
whereas the next three will be against the third, sixth and
seventh seeds and so should not prove as tough a challenge for
a Squids team whose zero points does not reflect the quality
of their play so far. Whilst the Squids could not have been
expected to win any of their first three games, they are in
a dangerous position, trailing at the bottom of the group,
because of upsets pulled off by the two teams ranked below
them. The Squids will need to pull off some upsets of their
own in order to stay in contention, and will hope to begin
with a win against fifty-seventh ranked Harlesburg toight.

MD01: Home to Vuam and Isma L 1-2
MD02: Home to Starblaydia L 0-2
MD03: Away to Praying2god L 0-2

Spaam Sports Weekly
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Belmore Thwarts Waffles

Spaam received their second one-all draw after hosting their territory
Spaamanian Plijous last night. The goal scoring dynamo that is Alan Belmore
couldn't break through Jelbert's defense in the first half, but neither could
Spaam, leaving the Waffles and the Gulls scorless going into the break. The
second half finally saw a goal scored, but from Belmore, as he showed why he
is the best striker in the United Territories of Spaam. In the 52nd minute, he
intercepted a pass and ran halfway down the field to beat Jelbert on a
one-on-one situation, and send the 'visitors' into an unlikely winning position.

The Waffles' attack doubled as they faced a humiliating loss, but it didn't pay
out until the 85th minute, when 17 year old wunderkind Tehta Trevelyan
punctured the Gulls' defense. It was a case of too little too late however, as
the game finished with a draw - a fantastic situation for the territory, but
giving Spaam an uphill battle towards qualification. Coach Gee was not
available for comment, but was reportedly upset with his teams performance.
However, the fans received a great night of football, touched only by the
ironic thought that a Spaamanian team surely would've have won that match,
and yet neither did.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/spaam.jpg 1:1 http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/spaamanian_plijous.jpg

Spaam: 1 Trevelyan 85
Spaamanian Plijous: 1 Belmore 52


Group 8

Rejistania continued along its dominance of the group, running away 3-nil
winners against The Emperialist. Elrich managed to squeeze a win out of the
always entertaining Raging Penguins, who have still not scored a goal in their
three matches. Ariddia had the bye this week, which saw Elrich maintain a
narrow points lead over Rejistania, while Spaam is only ahead of Spaamanian
Plijous and the Raging Penguins.

Next week sees Elrich have the bye, and they will assumedly lose their top
points position as the Raging Penguins host Rejistanian for a night of insanity,
and if the past is any indication, humiliation for the home team. Spaam has
their last home game for a while as they host The Emperialist, which is a
must-win game for the Waffles if they are to stand a chance of qualifying.
And Ariddia host Spaamanian Plijous, where they will most likely succeed
where they failed against Spaam.

Team P W D L GF GA GD PT PG G%
Rejistania 2 2 0 0 5 0 5 6 3.0 100
Elrich 3 2 1 0 3 1 2 7 2.3 75
Ariddia 2 1 1 0 4 1 3 4 2.0 80
The Emperialist 3 1 1 1 1 3 -2 4 1.3 25
Spaam 2 0 2 0 2 2 0 2 1.0 50
Spaamanian Plijous 3 0 1 2 2 5 -3 1 0.3 29
Raging Penguins 3 0 0 3 0 5 -5 0 0.0 0



1 Spaam 1:1 Ariddia
2 BYE
3 Spaam 1:1 Spaamanian Plijous
4 Spaam ?:? The Emperialist
5 Raging Penguins ?:? Spaam
6 Elrich ?:? Spaam
7 Rejistania ?:? Spaam
8 Ariddia ?:? Spaam
9 BYE
10 Spaamanian Plijous ?:? Spaam
11 The Emperialist ?:? Spaam
12 Spaam ?:? Raging Penguins
13 Spaam ?:? Elrich
14 Spaam ?:? Rejistania


Goal Scorers
1 Tehta Trevelyan 1
8 Melyor Trewin 1

http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/3532/sbc34jz.gif
Another Victory For Swilatia
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/swilatia.jpg Swilatia 1 - 0 Khenas http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/khenas.jpg

Today we hadour first home match, against Khenas, and the entire 100 000 seat stadium was filled up to its maximum capacity 120 000 people. Most of those were were fans of the Swilatian team, but there were some Khenas Mermaids Fans in that oversized stadium.

Since Khenas has the weakest team of everyone in the group, they lost to us 1-0. However, the Swilatian is not that weak anymore and has an actual chance of qualifying for this cup. We are not Mr. Anonymous. We are not the weakest link. we can qualify for World Cup 28, and we will qualilify for world cup 28. After all, we don't want to have four failed qualification runs in a row, as that will make us look like a very horrible team, such as lisburn mateys, as they aren't even fast enough to get the attack and defense right. The only reason a team would lose to them is if the a player on team playing against them was caugth trying to smugggle death sticks or something like that.

Of Course, we cannot have a World cup tonight after am match without actually telling you how the match went. So lets get to that now before our time runs out and we have to end the show.

Okay, so now the match. okay. It was just simply anther match, no retarded government rulings, cheating, or players being accused of trying to smuggle death sticks. The ball was on the Khenas half of the field for most of the time, although Khenas was a good team defensively, and we did not score goals until the last ten minutes of the first half, when Michael Noe managed to get a goal pat the defenses of Khenas and into the goal.

In the second half, Swilatia almost scored another goal, but the goal keeper @@RANDOMNAME@@ managed to block the goal, and then then in the Last Few minutes of the match khenas tried to score a goal, but the swilatian goalkeeper, Jeffrey Roderic, stopped the goal. Only 9 minutes were left after this, and no goals were scored in the remaining time. Not one. And thats good, because then we win.

Okay, I think we shhould take a look at the group ranks.

GROUP 11 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Milchama 2 2 0 0 7 4 3 6
Lisburn Mateys 3 2 0 1 5 3 2 6
Swilatia 3 2 0 1 3 2 1 6
Sarzonia 2 1 1 0 2 0 2 4
Giant Zucchini 2 1 0 1 3 3 0 3
Oglethorpia 3 0 1 2 2 5 -3 1
Khenas 3 0 0 2 0 5 -5 0
As you see, we are now in third place, to qualify we have to be first or second place. And I'm glad lisburn has fell out of the first place.

One problem here: we can fall down to fourth or lower tommorow, as that is a bye day. Also, we are looking for someone to have a friendly match with tommorow. Any requests should be emailed* to the Swilatian National Football team.

*OOC: I really mean send me a TG.

WARRIORS MAKE EARLY STATEMENT WITH SECOND SHUTOUT

The Praying2God Warriors, never known as strong starters, have made an early statement that they are ready to play in WC XXVIII with their second straight shutout of a team that was figured to be one of the likelier candidates to make a run at the Warriors in attempt to qualify. It's still early, but last night's impressive 2-0 win over Georgeonia definitely convinced many of the doubters to the Warriors' ability to get off to a fast start. "Sure, we've never been known as fast starters," Warriors Head Coach Paul Johnson said after the match, "we did what we had to do though, by taking the full six points from these first two matches. There's still a long way to go though, and anything can happen yet." The Warriors opened the scoring in the 32nd minute as Ashley Gore took a cross from Kelly Carter and headed it into the net. Only 11 minutes later, Thomas Larson scored in a two-on-one with Brittany Law setting him up for the tap-in goal. Georgeonia never mounted a serious threat at Sarah Larson in the second half, as she had to make only four saves for her second consecutive shutout. The schedule now gets a little easier for the Warriors as Duana Hills comes to the House of Prayer before the Warriors play their first road match against the surprise team of the group so far, Gaspland.

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png
Now That's More Like It!
by Rami Niblick in Talmeria

AFTER their non-match against Algal States, Krytenia finally got their World Cup campaign on the road against the lambs of Talmeria. Only a bevy of saves from the Talmerian 'keeper kept the scoreline respectable as the Aces coasted to a three-one victory.

Tejai was the architect in this match, his tireless runs down the left reminiscent of Cecil Poldov in his pomp, and it was on such run that led to the opener after just eight minutes. The young Ousevale midfielder beat his opposite number before whipping in a fierce cross that was met by the head of Liam Quinnell; one-nil.

It was Tejai himself who added the second just before half-time, as he found his way through the Talmerian back line wth a mazy dribble; as the keeper advanced, Tejai performed a deft chip which saw the ball loop over the goalie and into the net. Jeremy Jaffacake-Phillips added a third with a crisp volley early in the second half, and the Aces sat back, points in hand. The home side gained a late consolation though Maletira, but the match was safe.

Surprise leaders Giesenfreid are next; it's a somewhat shorter trip, and the Aces will be out for three points and a reality check for the Golden Eagles.

TALMERIA - 1
Maletria 88

KRYTENIA - 3
Quinnell 8
Tejai 44
Jaffacake-Phillips 50

TOURNAMENT SCORERS
J. Jaffacake-Phillips - 1
L. Quinnell - 1
Tejai - 1

QUALIFYING SCHEDULE
MD1: NO FIXTURE
MD2: A v ALG D 0-0
MD3: A v TLM W 3-1
MD4: A v GEI ?????
MD5: A v TYN ?????
MD6: H v TLC ????? (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD7: H v TUR ????? (New City Stadium, Avidia)
MD8: NO FIXTURE
MD9: H v ALG ????? (The Mound, Secklow)
MD10: H v TLM ????? (ArenaWest, Aigburth)
MD11: H v GEI ????? (Denbigh Park, Ousevale)
MD12: H v TYN ????? (Mellion Lane, Davisham)
MD13: A v TLC ?????
MD14: A v TUR ?????

Keltic Picayune-Newspaper-Chronicle-Times-Journal-Sun-Mail-Globe

Sports Section

Milchama win against Oglethorpia

The last time Milchama played against Oglethorpia was a long time ago, way back in World Cup 25 when a young tough team of Ostriches beat us out for the third place slot and almost qualified for the World Cup. Times have changed though as the Ostriches missed World Cup 27 and have fallen back significantly in the rankings and in the quailty of their players as they still have the exact same roster from World Cup 25. This means of course that all their players are really old with the youngest player being 39 and the oldest at 55. Coach Jamie Smith said, "We did excellent today. The key to the game was outrunning them and we outran them well as our speed beat them brilliantly. If we can keep up this attack throughout all of qualifying we will win many games. I'm also very happy about how despite being down at halftime we did not give up and scored 3 goas in the second half."
Now onto how they scored:

3rd minute: Flinters on the right now, he starts his attack and he's past one defender, two defenders, three defen- no he passes it back to Spot Nielson who does a give and go as Flinters sprints pass, Nielson gives him the lob, Flinters shoots! and its 1-0 Milchama. A beautiful goal by Darian Flinters as he sprinted past the entire defense and a nice pass by Spot Nielson to send him to the final goal charge.

18th minute: This game has been a worldwind up till now with both sides really attacking wonderfully. Oglethorpia now the ones on the attack with Anton Kremlov and Billiam Christmas Jr. trying to get something going but Pevington gets in the middle of it and clears to Harry Falls. OH NO! Finton's off his line and Falls sees this and shoots! Finton scrambling backwords but he won't be able to get it and it 1-1. A bad pass by Pevington and a horrible mental error by Finton and its 1-1.

30th minute: The game has really slowed down since Falls' unfortunate goal but the Ostriches are attacking again now with Falls as he goes down the center and passes it to Christmas Jr. who tries to spring Kremlov and does! Anton Kremlov wide open as he beats Kendric Pevington! He takes to two dribbles and shoots! and its 2-1 as Kremlov's cracker of a shot didn't give Finton a chance.

45th minute: And its 2-1 Oglethorpia at halftime. They really seemed to be outplaying the Warriors since they tied the game up, Milchama really need to...

48th minute: Rintell with a wonderful move around van Mistletoe and now he beats Potbell he's looking for an outlet though and he finds it on the right with J.J. Faren. Faren crosses it into the middle and to a WIDE OPEN FLOREN ALBENTINE! Albentine gets it chests it down and shoots! GOOOOOOOOAL!!!!! 2-2, Milchama tie the game only 3 minutes into the second half. Albentine in a perfect position and he didn't miss from there.

69th minute: Faren on the wing now as he passes over to Copperlee who makes a short run and then passes a through ball to Spot Nielson who outran Ed Head and he gets to the ball puts it over the keeper and its 3-2 Milchama in the lead. A perfect through ball from Copperlee and a wondeful goal by Nielson.

75th minute: Corner kick now for the Warriors. Copperlee to take it as he swings it in to the box and now a barrage of heads looking for it, Mills Thompson rises up and gets a head on it but it looks like its going wide but Floren Albentine is rushing toward the ball! He puts a head on it... And its in!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4-2 Milchama. Floren Albentine with a perfect eye for goal as he scores to secure the game for the Warriors.

Final Score:
Milchama 4 (Flinters 3, Albentine 48,75, Nielson 69)
Oglethorpia 2 (Falls 18, Kremlov 30)

Raging Penguins Report:
They lost each of their last two matches but this last match they only lost 1-0. Things are looking up for them.

Milchama Man of the Match:
Floren Albentine- His two goals were key to the Milchama victory as he showed his wonderful finishing touch.

Also we don't normally show tables but since this has never happened before a table of group 11:


GROUP 11 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Milchama 2 2 0 0 7 4 3 6
Lisburn Mateys 3 2 0 1 5 3 2 6
Swilatia 3 2 0 1 3 2 1 6
Sarzonia 2 1 1 0 2 0 2 4
Giant Zucchini 2 1 0 1 3 3 0 3
Oglethorpia 3 0 1 2 2 5 -3 1
Khenas 3 0 0 2 0 5 -5 0


Isn't it great?

This is from the blog from the takilan party

Rejistania attacks - and wins!

The rejistanian national team, called Orange-Blues, defeated the Emperialists by a 3:0 scoreline in the Estadije Sike Veran in the Rejistanian capital Sike.The Sikenian venue was mainly used so everyone has an equally long way to the match, except for the sikenians of course, who however suffer from so many traffic jams in case of any important even that it also counts as long way.

The match of course suffered from 'maniac''s defensiveness but all in all, the jesejilan 5-4-1 was not the worst choice for this match since unfortunately most players are used to it in the H1SR or H2SR. Despite the 5-4-1, we saw worse matches in the H1SR, the Orange-Blues did not hide in their half but attacked sometimes. This proved successful against the out-of-the-depths-of-the-rank opponent. Goalie Ehesalakeke Dahajehejili, who filled in for Jeri Kis had the luck on his side in the 4th minute after a Emperialistic attack. After that shock, the match shifted more to the favor of the Junis-Omeh.

Rejistania 3 (I Hetaki 15th, 78th; Lanja 37th) - The Emperialist 0

Wentland Times
The Wright Stuff As Adey Proves the Loder-Stone

So Wentland score their first points in this World Cup with a hard-fought 4-2 victory over Magnus Valerius, thanks in no small part to a mercurial display on the right-wing by Adrian Loder.

The Boyars lined up with a 3-4-3 formation that gave the Swifts some difficulties as the attack-minded 4-4-2 (which was almost a 4-2-4 at times) found itself being caught on the break more often than was comfortable.

Indeed, the first such break nearly saw Wentland go behind as Urt-Urumqi's speculative 20 yarder came back off the post and Feodorov stabbed the rebound home, only for a linesman's flag to chalk off the "goal" - and replays suggested that team-mate d'Anjou was the one offside. Was he interfering with play? One for the philosophers.

But Wentland's constant probing was gradually weakening the Boyars' defence and Lucinius found himself over-matched against Tiny Smith, the giant striker finding it easy to meet the crosses from Kent and Loder.

And it was a Loder cross that saw the first goal, Smith's header down to Barnes seeing the Crowhurst player-boss notch his first goal of qualifying. Within a couple of minutes it was two, Loder causing difficulties down the right, his cross-shot being palmed onto the bar and the rebound knocked home by Kent, a rare header for the left-winger.

But Magnus Valerius would not lie down and the tricky Ilyanich reduced the deficit within two minutes, and right on half-time, when a break saw Wright slip and present the number one with a one-on-one against Wentland's number one. A psychological blow just before the break.

Given the latitude the Swifts were having from crosses Bluff changed things around after half-time, with Blake Wright moving up front and the Swifts matching the 3-4-3. The move proved inspirational with the burly defender scoring his first-ever international goal by getting his head to a Loder corner on the hour and making it 4-1 with a cannonball shot after more trickery from the Crowhurst winger.

Job done, a triple-change saw the Swifts revert to 4-4-2 with Billy Lawrence coming on for Weston for his international debut, as well as team-mate Bateson and Hopkins replacing their opposite numbers. A pointer to the line-up against New-Lexington, which is going to be at Blackport's Harbour Road ground?

The Swifts tried to coast their way through the last twenty minutes, but were not allowed to by the harrying Boyars. The visitors made it awkward for the last seven minutes plus injury with a 35 yard screamer from Song which has a chance of winning Goal of the World Cup. But to no avail - no score for the remainder as the Swifts saw their way to 3 points.

New-Lexington Upset Bid Falls One Goal Short
By NLSW
New-Lexingtons upset bid verses FMJPhoenix today fell just short with a 2-1 loss. trevor trudeau scored his 3rd WC28 goal and a last second rebound attempt by trevor griggs was saved by FmjPhoenix as New-Lexingon fell just short of a major upset.

Dear diary,

At least today wasn't so hectic; it was a bye, so I had some time to look at some of the other qualifying matches around...especially our next one...but I've just had a little glance at the matches...haven't analysed them in detail...I hope this break doesn't affect our momentum, I quite value that last win actually...But our record isn't poor, only a loss to a higher ranked team on the first day, but I think we're on track, the boys are training well and we're improving ourselves to a good level. But we will only be able to tell at our next match how much the work we have done has translated into play on the pitch...I of course hope they remember everything we have done in training...it's national pride at stake here...

D

The Justtundra Times
(The most exciting thing that's happened to Southern Raging Penguins)


The Team loses. (More interesting news on Page 5)

After a disapointing first half, which featured tedious back-and-forth plays by both sides, Mrs. Tweezly giving the Elrich defence a peice of her mind after one of them accidentally kicked her in the shins, and a lawsuit filed by Ron Absnyll against a goalpost after he ran into it at the start of the match, there were still no goals scored, and the crowd was getting restless.

The second half was somewhat better, as things began to get intense after Elrich stole the ball from ABSOLUT LUNATIC, and he chased the Elrich goalkeeper from the field(the keepers absence didn't matter, because The Team got the ball back only once, and The Penguin missed the shot by 180º). As Elrich tried three times in half a minute to score, on Willie Dee and his Extremely Dangerous Hair, only one shot got in after Willie Dee got into a shouting match with his Extremely Dangerous Hair, and got distracted.

So far, The Team hasn't scored a single goal in three matches, probably because of their emphasis on defence(which has failed them, as is evidenced by their lack of ever winning). We would advise them to play more aggressively, except that that would probably lead them to bring machine guns onto the pitch.

Next time, they play on their own field, the patch of undeveloped ground formerly used as a Gallows. We expect to see very few fans actually attend the game, because Rejistanian people ought to be too smart to actually pay to see a game that's an obvious win for their team. On the otherhand, they may come to see if the Pitch is still a minefield(as the military's latest report classified it as), and if it is, how many people lose their limbs, but we feel that even those will still be eccentrics. As for fans from Raging Penguins? Well, there are none, so no worries there.


http://thewirecutters.com/WC/album_mod/upload/19c9053ce68f2e162e636064dcbc97b4.jpg
The Raging Penguins National Football Pitch, known as "Gallows Field"


We just hope that Devious Penguin doesn't decide to bring his family to the match, because the death of an entire foriegn football team on our cold, frozen soil could potentially mean war.

BURNING PENGUINS DAILY NEWS

"Burning Penguins on a cold streak?"

The Burning Penguins surprised many with their first round victory. Many beleived that this team would not win a game. World Cup 28 is the first World Cup that the Penguins have participated in.

"We won, so we know we can do it!" says Burning Penguins star Foreward, Kerry Eubanks.

Burning Penguins head coach states that the team will be focusing on defence this week in practice.

"They should be at the top of their game." Says head coach, Einar Kahlen.

The citizens of Burning Penguins are very excited for their squad, and wish them luck!

"WE'RE NUMBER ONE!!!", Yells Bob Brown, a huge fan who dresses up as a Penguin on fire for every big game.

We'll have to see if they can keep up the good work, after two dissapointing losses. The team is currently 1-2.

Chuck Norris News
For All Of Your Fighting Norris Coverage

Only one word can describe the Fighting Norris' last match... amazing. Let's just put it this way:

Mr Chuck Norris 3 (Chuck Norris 16, 32, 40)
Bettia 1 (Chris Hutton 36)

Yes all of you Fighting Norris fans watching, this is not a joke, the Fighting Norris did in fact pull an upset over 23-ranked Bettia. The match was a strange one as both teams are notorious for running unusually offensive formations. The 3-4-3 of Bettia and the 2-3-5 "five-forward" of the Fighting Norris proved to keep players on their toes at all times.

The match started with the first deadlock at midfield. The three midfielders of the Fighting Norris (Zach Brickhouse, Yianni Karvo, Paper Mario) and the four of Bettia (Jason Abdullah, John Connick, Badr Warlow, Ieaun Swain) began battling for possesion, which would prove to be so precious in this match. The battle ended when Paper Mario appeared apparently out of thin air to take the ball from John Connick and charged downfield with near weightlessness.

Paper Mario proceeded to get the ball to the heart of the five-forward offense, Chuck Norris. The Bettia defense, although clearly more experienced than the Fighting Norris offense, were outnumbered by the massive wave of forwards barreling toward them. Chuck was able to draw a couple defenders, allowing him to pass the ball to a wide-open Brian Boitano. However, Boitano's inexperience shined as he did not take the wide open shot, but instead passed the ball back to a heavily-covered Chuck Norris. Luckily, Chuck Norris was able to shed his defenders and roundhouse kick the ball into the corner of the Bettia goal for a score in the 16th minute.

It didn't take very long for the Fighting Norris to get back on the offensive after play continued. However, this time, Bettia was more prepared, giving the Fighting Norris offense a very hard time advancing toward the goal. OJ Pimpson and The Burger King played the key roles in finally breaking through the pumped up defense as they weaved through and around defenders passing back and forth to one another. Oddly enough, by the time that they were able to shoot, the Bettia defense chose to home in on them and they decided to stop their duet of a charge and give the ball to none other than Chuck Norris. Convieniently, no one was defending Mr. Norris and he was able to boot in his second goal of the day in the 32nd minute.

By this point, Bettia was quite scared of losing to the Fighting Norris who happened to be ranked 63 places lower than themselves. They decided to buff up thier defense in an effort to get something started on offense. This strategy worked when they were able to initiate thier first good attack, ultimately resulting in the scoring of Bettia's first goal by Chris Hutton in the 36th minute.

Coach of the Fighting Norris, Bob Janney, saw that Bettia had increased the size of their defense. Naturally, his logic was that if the Bettian defense was larger, than his offense would also have to be larger. Play continued and this time, the Fighting Norris began a charge with so many players, it seemed to be a swarm of Fighting Norris offenders around a cowering Bettia defense. Somehow, nobody's sure how yet, Chuck Norris ended up taking an uncontested shot on goal. As the ball passed through the posts in the 40th minute cheers erupted because Chuck Norris had earned his second hat trick in three matches. The half expired with the Fighting Norris up 3-1.

Being two goals ahead, the Fighting Norris emerged with an unusually defensive strategy. Those watching looked on with awe as the Fighting Norris unexpectedly fended off the heavily offensive Bettia forwards for the entire second half. "Amazing" muttered one Bettia player as time expired. The match ended with the score 3-1 in the Fighting Norris' favor, much to the delight of football fans across the universe.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hello everyone, this is Bob Janney! We won! If we can beat the 23-ranked Bettia at their stadium, imagine what we could do at 37-ranked Cuation. I'm not guarenteeing anything, but it'll be bound to be a good match. As promised, I will hold off on the group analysis for another matchday or two, as to give everyone a fair chance in my ramblings. Happy footballing everyone!"

World Cup 28 Schedule of the Fighting Norris:
Matchday 1: Vs. Five Civilized Nations (Won 4-2)
Matchday 2: Vs. Squornshelous (Loss 0-2)
Matchday 3: At Bettia (Won 3-1)
Matchday 4: At Cuation
Matchday 5: On Bye
Matchday 6: Vs. Slakaj
Matchday 7: Vs. Burning Penguins
Matchday 8: At Five Civilized Nations
Matchday 9: At Squornshelous
Matchday 10: Vs. Bettia
Matchday 11: Vs. Cuation
Matchday 12: On Bye
Matchday 13: At Slajak
Matchday 14: At Burning Penguins

Fighting Norris World Cup 28 Record: (2-0-1)

“Welcome once again to Tynelian Soccer Weekly’s continuing World Cup 28 coverage. In a clash of the early upstarts Tynelia defended its home turf with a 2-0 win over equally surprising Geisenfried squad. This win puts Tynelia for the moment alone in first place atop group 15. I’m Sal Spikeman along with Anna Dalespin. So Anna, the good times continue.”

“yes but it should be pointed out Sal that the schedule has been kind to Tynelia until now. In fact they’re not alone in their middle of the pack charge to the top. Fellow fourth seeds Dance 2 Revolution, Five Civilized Nations, our BoF rivals Qazox, our CoH bane Haraki, Becquerelia, Elrich, Collonie and Swilatia are all either in first place or tied for first with 6 points or more. This is chiefly because all these teams have yet to play a team ranked above them so now all these teams as well as Tynelia get a day to bask in their early run before they have to face the top gun of the group in their next match. The next three matches will show which of these mid-pack front runners has what it takes to hang on.”

“That’s a good point Anna now the road gets tough these next three matches against in order the 1,2 and 3 seeds. But for now they’re getting the job done. But before I go any further let’s head over to Dana Lee at the Presidential Coliseum where Coach Greg Tudor is giving his first interview of the Cup. Over to you Dana.”

<cameras cut to the stadium camera>

“Thanks Sal. This is a big day for Tynelia as we take over sole possession of first place going into our day off. And the best part is that no matter what happens tomorrow Tynelia will still be no worse than second in the group. But now let’s take a moment to hear from Coach Greg Tudor who has been the brains behind this fast start. Coach, what do you think the team is doing differently this time than Tynelia’s last Cup showing?”

“Ah Miss Lee, the boys and girls are doing rather well so far. I just tell them what they need to do and then they go out and do it. They know what its like now which helps them carry on. Miss Whiteworth has been rather good in net. Not a goal against so far with those Krytenia chaps on the horizon. The offense has been good enough except for that tea break they took against Talmeria. But things are rather favorable for us so far. The lower teams are surprising the tougher chaps in the group which makes the road a bit easier for us. If we keep playing like we have we should be able to add some points to our total even against the top squads.”

“So you like your chances of advancing then?”

“Let’s not think too far ahead there Miss Lee, we have a tough stretch ahead and this will be our proving ground. Its been said by the experts we have yet to beat any team ranked in the top fifty so if we are going to move on we have to prove them wrong first. Krytenia will be a tough match but we’ll be at home and rested so that will help. As will all these devoted Tynelians in the stands cheering them on but now we’ll have a day off to rest up, get everyone fresh and maybe catch the Krytenia match with Geisenfried. It will be a good chance to see how we match up since we’ve just played them ourselves.”

“That’s right coach, and with Krytenia being proclaimed the team to beat any edge you can get will be a big one.”

“Right you are Miss Lee. But now if you’ll excuse me I must be off to congratulate the squad on their win.”

“Ok Coach, thanks for your time. Well Sal there you have it, a prudently confident viewpoint from the man leading the still undefeated Tynelian nations in their second World Cup try.”

<camera return to the studio>

“Thanks Dana. So do you think the time has come for Tynelia to round the corner against the top teams?”

“We’ll find out soon enough. This will also be a stretch where Krytenia could very well step up and say ‘Ok you new teams had your fun, let the big boys come through now.’ With back to back games against Geisenfried and Tynelia, the only two teams ahead of them in the standings. A win against Geisenfried puts them into a tie with us at 7 points. A draw pulls Geisenfried even with us and we drop to second with a Geisenfried win. And we have to watch the Lowland Clans who are lurking at three points and playing the stingy defense of the Algal States next with an extra day to seethe over their upset loss to Geisenfried in the second match. A win there and suddenly they’re sitting at 6 points when we go up against Krytenia. The next two weeks could completely swing the entire order of the group around.”

“That’s a very good point Anna, its still too early to pick up any real trends yet and the teams are all close enough that each match changes the group order completely. But onto today’s match. Tynelia got on the board at the 28 minute mark with Alan MacDougal knocking in his first goal of World Cup play off a nice lead pass from Anya Collins. Alan’s goal must have made his sister-Tynelian bronze medalist Ginny MacDougal very happy. The half ended at the 1-0 mark but then team captain Adrian Pytte stole the ball from Karl Genz who let the ball get a little too far ahead of him while driving down the field. Firing it down field it was picked up by Brian Kenders who barely had time to fire it downfield before Conrad Stein took him down with a clean steal attempt that had both players on the ground afterwards. Both quickly bounced back to their feet in time to see Jay Masterson blast a tough angle shot that kicked into the net off a deflection from the crossbar at the 71 minute mark. At that point Tynelia was content to run the clock out and put up Amy Whiteworth’s third straight shutout for the win.

“Shots were again tough to come by. Both teams were thinking defense first which resulted in the odd combination of few shots but a higher than normal amount of quality shots. Tynelia held a narrow 12-11 edge in total shots but each team was credited with 5 quality attempts each. Time of possession was also favoring Tynelia by about five and a half minutes. So Anna, with the bye here how do you think the team has fared this time around?”

“Well Sal, obviously we’re doing a lot better to start than the last Cup where we were 1-1-1 while being shutout twice. Still you’ll see the differences aren’t really that major. Through three we’ve scored only one more goal than this point last Cup and even with these three shutouts don’t forget Vladimar Malloy only allowed 1 goal in his first three matches. Still the results have worked out much better with the extra three points in the books. What also helps is that Tynelia has a healthy +3 goal differential. Now its just a matter of how much of it can they retain in these next three matches.”

“Well with Tynelia on bye what do you think will happen in today’s other group play?”

“Well I have to believe the top seeds will begin to assert themselves. I think Geisenfried will face a rude awakening from Krytenia with the top seeds winning by a 3-0 score. Krytenia is more of an attacking team than Tynelia is and Geisenfried had some trouble with us. I think Turori will finally bounce back against a Talmeria team which have only scored one goal in three matches. I think that one will go 1-0 as Turori also has had some trouble putting the ball in net as Geisenfried shut them out earlier. Finally the Lowland Clans vs. the Algal States will be the best match of the three a strong offense against a stingy defense. Since it would be too dull to pick all the favorites to win I’ll call a 1-1 draw here.”

“Ok Anna, now its time for Coach’s Corner with former Tynelian World Cup Coach Marcus O’Meara. Coach, how do you think this good start will carry over through the bye against the top seeds?”

“Hello Sal and Anna, well for my part I’ve always felt a bye is a good thing when you’re losing and a bad one when you’re winning. You lose some of the adrenaline you’ve picked up over the course of your run and have to pick it up again. On the other hand Tynelia will be at home for these next two matches and having heard both sides of it I know how these Tynelian fans will come to back a winning squad like this one. If you’re doing badly they’re not afraid to let you have it but they’re quick to get back behind the team when it counts. Actually if I may do some predicting of my own I think that unless Turori bounces back in these next two matches, that might very well be a game Tynelia can steal a win from. Krytenia will be tough to take any points from but the Algals held them to a draw and we beat the Algals so there’s a positive the team can draw on for that one. So the short answer is yes, a bye in the middle of the long homestand shouldn’t hurt the team.”

“Ok thanks coach. Now we’re a bit short on time but here’s Harmonie Masterson with ‘Harmonie’s Hearsay’ with a new development. Over to you Harmonie.”

“HI Sal! Hi Anna! I have a REAL big scoop today, in fact its almost a ‘super’ one!” <giggles> “But first wasn’t Snugglebunny great today when he scored that goal today! We’re going to go celebrate after this show, I’m so proud of him! But today’s scoop doesn’t even have to do with the secret lovebirds. Nope, this time its someone else on the team that has a secret! Rumor has it that backup Donna Kent’s cousin has come down from the country to watch the Cup. Now that might not mean much to a lot of people but it all makes sense when I tell you that his name is Clark! No one wants to say anything but my sources are keeping a close eye on him to see if they can catch him doing anything super! More on this exciting news later! Back to you Sal and Anna.”

“Okaaay, thanks Harmonie for that tidbit. Well that’s all the time we have for today. Tomorrow we’ll just have an abbreviated program with the scores from matchday four and se how it will affect Tynelia’s standing in the group. Until then this is Sal Spikeman for Anna Dalespin wishing everyone a good night.”

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega vs Boudra-Boudra

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/andossa_se_mitrin_vega.jpg vs http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/boudra-boudra.jpg

Back on Track!
After Surprising Away-Win

After an unsatisfying first two matches at home and with two tough away games scheduled, the situation of the Boudran national team was not looking great. During the first of those away games, at Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, the poor performance of the team did not seem to have improved as they set an unimpressing performance in the first half, struggling just to hold on to a 0-0 draw and helped a lot by an underachieving side from ASMV. During the second half the individual class of the opponents showed as they suddenly, out of the blue, set up a stunning combination which ended in Evan Evans shooting the ball past Ohène Strok'pah. As the supporters roared and the Boudran players looked at eachother, no one would have thought that Boudra-Boudra were going to get away with a victory, but somehow they did. Just minutes after the opening goal it was Sosimo Bradkorb who shot from afar to leave Shaun Conarky without an answer as the ball flew into the top left corner. The early equaliser shifted the morale from the hometeam to the awayteam as the Boudra-Boudra national team took over control of the ball and created many chances. However it was not until the 77th minute before they took the lead as Arintz Efefefe-Ijlf scored his first goal for the national team after a combination with Malimbo Tar. After that the game bled to death as the Boudrans started taking their time and using their substitutions. Boudra-Boudra hereby took three points away from Andossa Se Mitrin Vega and are starting to recover from their home losses earlier. It will take a higher level of football however if they want to progress to the finals of the worldcup. The next match away to Kericia will be crucial, yet again.

In the end it stood:
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 1 - 2 Boudra-Boudra

1-0 Evan Evans '54
1-1 Sosimo Bradkorb '56
1-2 Arintz Efefefe-Ijlf '77

The Boudran lineup:

Goalkeeper:
- Ohène Strok'pah

Defenders:
- Simon Samuelsson
- Hanz Buyakasha (captain)
- Billy-Bob Stephenson (out, 80 mins)

Midfielders:
- Rikke Gallucio
- Bernardino Maria Eduardo Garcia de la Col Delgado
- Torsten Oppt-Sjlook
- Njjik Rahlii

Forwards:
- Arintz Efefefe-Ijlf (out, 88 mins)
- Sosimo Bradkorb
- Malimbo Tar (out, 85 mins)

Replacements:
- Mikko Piminio (For, 85 mins)
- Indridi-Ptô Burns (Def, 80 mins)
- Andris Zdelizj (For, 88 mins)

Other MD3 Results in Group 7
Jeruselem 2-2 Rorysville
Becquerelia 2-0 Philthealbino

The WCQ Schedule for Boudra-Boudra:
Matchday 1: Boudra-Boudra - Becquerelia lost 0-1
Matchday 2: Boudra-Boudra - Jeruselem lost 0-2
Matchday 3: Andossa Se Mitrin Vega - Boudra-Boudra won 1-2
Matchday 4: Kericia - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 5: Bye
Matchday 6: Boudra-Boudra - Philthealbino
Matchday 7: Boudra-Boudra - Rorysville
Matchday 8: Becquerelia - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 9: Jeruselem - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 10: Boudra-Boudra - Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Matchday 11: Boudra-Boudra - Kericia
Matchday 12: Bye
Matchday 13: Philthealbino - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 14: Rorysville - Boudra-Boudra

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

Rain prevents offense in 1-0 win over team with a Dash in their name
Rainy season just crappy to play soccer in

On a day featuring heavy rain, the nutters peered through to see the Casaran offense stall in the incliment weather as the pitch underneath their feet held up.

While traditionally the pitch tends to disintegrate into a mudhole in the rain, the fresh turf laid down for the Ylompics has held up much better to the pounding the different sports leagues have put on it. So instead of trying to lob the ball across a brown, messy no man's land to Ronalo up front, the Casarans had to play a traditional, low grip game. And to put it honestly, they sucked.

"For some reason, the turf held up fine, but it felt like there was standing water that made us totally unable to get any grip at all." Roe said to the press after the match.

On the other end of the field, however, Goalkeeper Scott William, who spent 4 cups in the shadow of Casari's other goaltender, Salvidore Rooney, took the pitch with the number one and performed magnificently, looking entirely at home on the wet and slippery pitch. On the bench, Rooney attempted to keep up appearances, but it was clear his job security was on the line and that that fact was readily apparent to him.

Casari heads out of country again to face unraked Alberthame next, in another match that Casari should be able to handle without too much trouble.

Konigseifert Chronicle

Golden Eagles get Reality Check Against Tynelia
Geisenfried loses 2-0, faces divisional powerhouse Krytenia next

As the Geisenfried Golden Eagles went into Tynelia yesterday, they were division leaders and had just come off of a stunning 1-0 upset of the Lowland Clans, a team ranked #42 and expected by many to qualify for the next round. Perhaps it went to their head, as when they left, headed back home, they had lost their division lead after failing to capitalize on several key plays. Hopefully, this loss will bring the fact that they're still one of the new kids on the block back into focus, in time to put up an effort against the powerful Krytenia Aces, who come to Haimuller in Geisenfried's next match.

The match, for the most part, was quite throughly contested, but in the end Tynelia fully utilized their opportunities, while the Golden Eagles squandered theirs. In the 28th minute, a nice set up for Tynelia's Alan MacDougal allowed him to blast a shot past Kurt Ackermann, and in the 71st minute, after a mistake by an apparently overeager Karl Genz allowed Tynelia to make a quick strike deep into Geisenfried territory, Jay Masterson fired a shot that at first appeared to miss, but got some help from the crossbar to sink in the insurance goal. The Golden Eagles tried to mount some counteroffensives to try and mount a come back, but all of them were cut short by the Tynelian defense and their goalkeeper Amy Whiteworth.

Geisenfried: 0
Tynelia: 2
MacDougal- 28' (TYN)
Masterson- 71' (TYN)

As previously mentioned, Geisenfried's next game will be at home against Krytenia, who are expected to be the qualifying division champions and are currently ranked 18th in the world, at Haimuller Coastal Colosseum.


Division 15
-------------------------------------------------
Team Name: P W D L Pts GF GA GD
-------------------------------------------------
Tynelia: 3 2 1 0 7 3 0 3
Geisenfried: 3 2 0 1 6 2 2 0
Krytenia: 2 1 1 0 4 3 1 2
The Lowland Clans: 2 1 0 1 3 3 3 0
Algal States: 3 0 2 1 2 0 1 -1
Turori: 2 0 1 1 1 2 3 -1
Talmeria: 3 0 1 2 1 1 4 -3



Schedule
Geisenfried 1-0 Talmeria
Geisenfried 1-0 The Lowland Clans
Geisenfried 0-2 Tynelia
Krytenia at Geisenfried
Turori at Geisenfried
Geisenfried at Algal States
Bye
Talmeria at Geisenfried
The Lowland Clans at Geisenfried
Tynelia at Geisenfried
Geisenfried at Krytenia
Geisenfried at Turori
Algal States at Geisenfried

The Green Angels have upset Maccabees, but the last two matches have been a complete ruin for the Angels who need desparately to get back on the victory trail soon... The next match will prove to be the most important for the Angels against a Nanckaland side who we have never faced before in competion. The Angels should bounce back from the last few defeats with the coming of the first bye week in Match Day 5. This is our first competion as a member of the Rejected Realms region.

After the bye week, the "minnows" of the group are next to enter the Angelera Stadion in Witherilena... The next few matches will see if the Angels are ready for the next step of World Football.

The Schiavone Scribe
Young Guns Fire Blank
Schiavonia 0-1 CR Oscilloscopes

Schiavonia lost at home to CR Oscillopes last night, as manager Rodney Lowe decided it was an opportune moment to field some youngesters in the team.

He was wrong, although it was going quite well. For a team featuring only three players over twenty-four years of age (Park, Marsden and Tarmey), the team were holding out quite well, though there was a lot of relying on the two experienced men at times.

The main problem seemed to be in the passing movement. The players seemed less inclined to pass the ball than with the usual line-up, and thus when they did, they tried to do too much with the ball, thus giving it away. Tarmey was starved of service, while Jermaine Edwards was caught offside eight times by a mixture of his eagerness and the awareness of the visiting defence.

Still, Park and Marsden were keeping CRO at bay until a mix up between right back Enrique Williams and goalkeeper Jack Holmes let in Üwe Ritz. Ritz still had work to do, dummying to shoot as Marsden tackled before smashing the ball home before any more defenders could rush back.

Afterwards, Lowe admitted he had underestimated his opposition, taking the blame for the scoreline. "I was trying to take them by surprise. It worked in the last qualifying campaign against Qutar [when Lowe changed the entire starting eleven, unbeknown to the opponents], but it backfired here today."

"I won't be afraid to try this kind of thing again if I think it will benefit Schiavonia, even if we lose and it is only for the future."

Final score
Schiavonia 0
CR Oscilloscopes 1 (Ritz 74)

This was a cutoff.
Now it contains nice new scores. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10873796&postcount=4)
Maybe even working tables!

Qazox City Herald

Why is it that Qazox can't win at home? A very upsettign 1-0 last minute loss to The Remote Islands yesterday has taken any momentum away from the Black Oxen going into their bye. Reggie Hassok played a great game, but couldn't keep the last shot he faced out of the net as Qazxo falls to 2-0-1 in Group 5 play.

Including the last WC qualifiers Qazox is 3-1-5 in 9 home matches and an impressive 6-1-3 on the road. Is it the pressure of being in front of 60-to-80 thousand fans cheering for them? or is it something else entirely?

Other Matchday 3 scores in Group 5:
Audioslavia 3 Zorinia 0
The Islands of Qutar 1 Anastasiania 1

Group Standings after Match Day 3:

GROUP 5 MP Record GF GA GD PTS
Audioslavia 2 2-0-0 6 1 5 6
Qazox 3 2-0-1 4 2 2 6
Legalese 2 2-0-0 2 0 2 6
Zorinia 3 1-0-2 5 7 -2 3
Remote Islands 3 1-0-2 3 5 -2 3
Isls of Qutar 2 0-1-1 1 2 -1 1
Anastasiania 3 0-1-2 2 6 -4 1

After the bye Qazox' next game is at home va. Audioslavia, hopefully the losing trend at home will stop and we upset a top 20 team.

http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/3189/sportsnetrv9bw.png
Sportsnet RV Soccer Central

The latest in from World Cup 28.

The Moose Factory will once again be celebrating as Rorysville beats #32Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 3-1. This win is comming off the Heels of the 2-2 tie with the#8 RAnked Jeruselem. Rorysville has jumped to 2-1-1 in group 7 . Other Group 7 scores Jeruselem rebounds and beats Philthealbino 1-0,Kericia drops one to Boudra-Boudra 3-2.

"This win is what we need. We are building off that tie and using this win as the start of something good. Our Youth are getting stronger every game"-Coach McKlintok.

Of note in the Game Young Gunner Adam Negeuanne Scored his first career International goal in this match to put the game out of reach. in his 4 matches he has gotten better each game. I can only Imagine how well he'll be doing in further contests.

Goals scored by
RV-Jasper(8min),Svernetsiev(55min),Negeuanne(76min)
ASMV-Iglesias(48min)

Rorysville WC28 Schedule
MD 1: (unranked) Philthealbino W 1-0
MD 2: #72 Bequerelia L 4-1
MD 3: @#8 Jeruselem D 2-2
MD 4: @#32 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega W 3-1
MD 5: @#45 Kericia
MD 6: BYE
MD 7: @#116 Boudra-Boudra
MD 8: @(unranked) Philthealbino
MD 9: @#72 Bequerelia
MD10: #8 Jeruselem
MD11: #32 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
MD12: #45 Kericia
MD13: BYE
MD14: #116 Boudra-Boudra

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg

BLAH BLAH BLAH AGAIN

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from Stadii Se Draggonnii Arcea

The Sea Dragons Suck. You heard it here first. Opening WC28 with 3 home matches hasn’t helped a single bit as our squad is now 1-0-2 and will start a bitch of a 6 match road-trip. Both losses for ASMV came at the hands of weaker opponents. MD2 saw 116nd ranked Boudra-Boudra walk out with a win and now MD3 has seen 147th Rorysville crush the Sea Dragons 3-1. What was even worse is the lone score form ASMV was an own goal from the Rorysville keeper despite what any previous report states.

If things don’t turn around rather quickly for the Sea Dragons they can kiss a second qualification goodbye. And on a 6 match road-trip that includes Bequerelia, Jeruselem, Kericia, and the two lower seeds that have already beaten us that wont be easy at all.

Next up is a trip to Philthealbino. This should mean an ASMV victory. But rankings seem to mean absolutely nothing so expect us to rather give 3 points to that winless squad as well.

Friends Watch
Hypocria managed no better than us in a 0-3 loss to Narbithia???
Dorian and Sonya got their first win against Kaze Progressa 2-0
Cuation picked up a 3-1 win over the Fighting Norris
Ariddia beat Spaam Plisomething 3-2
Milchama could only manage a draw against Lisburn Mateys
Tadjikistan was cursed as well allowing a 1-1 draw from Northern Ceasarea

Tune in for more of this crap tomorrow.

Kindafrosti Courier


Once again, Raging Penguins fails to score!

In a home game against Rejistania's high ranking soccer team, The Team once again lost without scoring a single goal. However, to the suprise fo all and sundry, they only let one ball get past. After predictions of utter doom and humiliation on homeground by countless(well, four) newspapers, it turns out The Team's defence isn't that bad.

"It was mostly Dummys'(The Team's pet name for DMYS - the Dubious, Mobile, Yellow Slime) tireless work on the Pitch that saved our collective asses," says Furious Porridge, "Dummy just didn't give up, and it really was starting to wear those Rejistanian forwards down, just as it landed on that mine and got splattered across the field. Damn shame, damn shame..."

During the Second Half, with niether side giving up any goals, Rejistani Forward Seiru I Hetaki had manuevered the ball to the far left side of the pitch, while keeping The Teams Defence distracted by regularily passing back to Midfielders Isi I Mji~l and Kansu Lanja who were pressing in on the right. DMYS, using all of its plant-like, radioactive neurons to strategically place itself, managed to center its entire weight on a primed landmine tragiclly buried in that left side of the pitch, ironically, by The Teams captain, The Penguin. I Hetaki barely flinched as the explosion ripped DMYS apart and spread yellow, quivering, and disturbingly warm goo across a blat radius of 15 square meters, covering players and fans alike. After the spectators had scooped the slime from their eyes, they were greeted witht he sight of a soccer ball balancing precariously upon a slime-coated hair follicle belonging to Willie Dee's Extremely Dangerous Hair. In previous games, The Extremely Dangerous Hair had usually managed to save these sorts of balls, but in its mold-covered state, the ball slipped at last from its grasp and fell just inside the line, causing a explosion of cheering from the jubiliant - albeit slimey - Rejistanian Fans.

Only slightly shaken after the sudden and violent loss of their best defenceman, The Team pressed on, threatening the Rejistanian dominance with clever footwork, an astonishingly logical play, and many promises of physical violence. However, the rest of the match was something of a joke, because one simply cannot call two teams 'sliding shakily over the pitch towards each other, falling over and starting over again' a proper game.

Don't worry about the slime mold, though, because according to Arnold Fletchly, once they finish scraping it off the goal posts, it'll be right as rain and ready to play again(more's the pitty)!

Unicorns Pick Up First Win

Queen Sonya smiled. The Mystical Unicorns had actually played as a team today, and in the process picked up their first win of the campaign in a 2-0 clean sheet of Kaze Progressa. That win moves D&S back into contention with a bye date coming next.

The match started with great defense for the Unicorns who were bound and determined not to let this one get away from them. The Progressans had the same idea and the 1st half saw no score from either side.

The second half is where the Unicorns proved their superior stamina (from all the extra practice) and put the match away. Kaze Progressa began to show signs of fatigue in the 77th minute, and that was the cue for D&S to turn up the pressure.

Tári Falassion made a quick move near midfield and spotted a wide open Gilraen Tinúviel streaking towards the goal. The defense recovered enough to make her pull up, but not enough to cover Altáriël Telperiën who easily took the pass and placed the ball in the net.

4 minutes later, Eámanë Súrion made a brilliant clearing of the KP attempt and sent the ball almost to the other penalty box where Telperiën took control. This time it was Tinúviel left open for the easy score. That made it 2-0 and that is how it would end.

Next comes a much needed bye before the Unicorns play host to Homieville.

Upset Watch
minor ; Major

Group 1 - #156 Narbithia downed #36 Hypocria 3-0
Group 2 - Unranked Homieville earned a 2-2 draw with #2 Liverpool England
#172 Rosberg beat #20 Vilita 2-1
#87 D&S downed #44 Kaze Progressa 2-0
Group 3 - #148 Dauna Hills beat #27 Praying2God 1-0
Group 5 - #50 Legalese drew 1-1 with #114 Anastasiania
Group 6 - #47 Yafor 2 drew 1-1 with #124 Nouvelle Angletere
Group 7 - #147 Rorysville downed #32 ASMV 3-1
#116 Boudra-Boudra beat #45 Kericia 3-2
Group 10 - #179 Vejar crushed #22 Schiavonia 4-2
Group 11 - #31 Milchama and #137 Lisburn Mateys ended at 1-1
#38 Giant Zucchini and #85 Oglethorpia battled to a 1-1 draw
Group 12 - #201 NewLexington stole a point from #34 Wentland in a 1-1 draw
Group 13 - #15 Tadjikistan and Unranked Northern Ceasarea battled to a 1-1 draw


See everyone again tomorrow!!!

RORDIA - DESTINATION NMS
Part 4: Third Time Lucky

There were plenty of shocks in World Cup qualifying this round. Fortunately, Rordia were not victims, as they beat Nebuleux 1-0 in Rordic City.
This is Rordia's first win in three games so far this campaign. It came courtesy of a 75th minute goal from Freddie Monaghan. But just three minutes before that, the Rordians had something to worry about, as defender Michael Davidson lay injured clutching his leg. Everyone in the stadium thought that Davidson had become the latest victim of Rordian leg flu. In the end, the injury wasn't as bad as first thought. But it still rules him out of Rordia's next game against high flyers Narbithia.
Rordia boss Neil van der Wal wasn't happy with the result, saying: "We were dead lucky out there today. If we didn't have luck on our side, we would have lost two or even three-nil. We were woeful out there, absolutely disgraceful. World Cup finals? You're having a laugh!"
If Rordia don't beat Nebuleux in their next match, nobody here will be having a laugh.

LINE-UP: O'Leary; Craig, Robertson, Underwood, Davidson (Khan); Mirren, Vance, van der Wal, Gibson (Parkinson); Brick, Monaghan (Stevenson). Booked: Khan, Gibson.

OTHER RESULTS (ROUND 4):
Virginia Nova 0 Bedistan 1
Hypocria 0 Narbithia 3
OTHER RESULTS (ROUND 3):
Bedistan 2 Narbithia 0
Hypocria 2 Nebuleux 1
Anathematic Reps. 1 Virginia Nova 0


RORDIA PLAYER PROFILES - PART 2:
Michael Davidson
Age: 33. Position: Right-back. Club: Xavier.
Michael Davidson is the oldest player in the squad, and is a survivor from Rordia's World Cup 25 team. This is Davidson's last World Cup qualifying campaign, and he wants to go out with a bang. So far, it's going out with a crack, as injuries have hampered his campaign. When he's not in the physio room, Micky is a rock in Xavier's watertight defence. He has helped them get to 3rd in the league, and he is currently the league's top-scoring defender.
Iain O'Leary
Age: 25. Position: Goalkeeper. Club: Eisenhower.
Iain O'Leary is Rordia's first-choice goalkeeper, although he only made his debut not too long ago, against Hypocria. O'Leary is in the squad, as all of the country's top keepers have been forced to retire through injury (not leg flu). O'Leary's club form is good - he has kept four clean sheets in his last six games - but he is prone to the odd error. If he can do as well with Rordia as he does with Eisenhower, we could very well qualify for our first World Cup.


ALEKS? WHO THE F*** IS ALEKS?
Defender Aleks Bonachev has announced that he wants to play for Rordia - even though he is not a Rordian citizen. Bonachev, who comes from an unknown country south of Rordia, has only been in the country for a month after signing for league newcomers Tigre Rossa. But he said: "All I ever wanted to do was play for Rordia. Even in home country, I dream of wearing Rordia shirt. I love Rordia, and I want to play for them."
Manager Neil van der Wal said: "Aleks? Who the f*** is Aleks? He is not playing for Rordia - not in a million years. He is just a stupid foreigner. If he thinks I will pick him, he can forget it."
Bonachev, 20, was not available for further comment.

A Curse?

Northern Ceasarea - The four three matches of the Tadjik Tigers should have given them alot of points and secured a top spot for them, but everything turns out different now as the Tigers failed to win in Northern Ceasarea. Instead N. Ceasarea's Narveaz beat the Tadjik defenders and only through sheer luck, and a good shot by Saidomir Saradov, did the Tigers prevent a loss at the hand of this unknown and unranked side.

The fans are slowly getting tired of the way thiese qualifications are going, without the succes that this team used to have in previous World Cup. 'It was already a small miracle that we reached World Cup 27, but if these qualifications continue like this, then we wont be on World Cup 28.' One fan muttered after the match, clearly annoyed at his teams inability to break away from the rest of the group.

Coach Alexander Zaev remained calm, noting that Tadjikistan still held the second position and the Tigers were still unbeaten but even he had to admit that there was something wrong and he eventually decided to do what the public asked from him 'I have contacted Nicolay Elisarov and proposed him to come and play for the national team. He will be replacing Peter Zverev in the midfield. I've also taken the liberty to call Andrej Gyurza, a young but talented defender, whom I will put on Ashurovs place. They've both decided to give it a try, if it doesnt work out they'll quit the national team again.'

Zaevs efforts come at a point were they are most needed, the upcoming match against Apologetic Kittens should still be easy. It'll serve as testing ground for the two big confrontations in Group 13 against Pastorville and Spruitland, both matches are played on Tadjik soil and will hopefully end the curse that haunts the national team.


GROUP 13 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Spruitland 3 3 0 0 6 0 6 9
Tadjikistan 3 1 2 0 5 3 2 5
N. Caesarea 4 0 4 0 2 2 0 4
Apo. Kittens 3 1 1 1 1 1 0 4
Pastorville 3 1 1 1 3 4 -1 4
Radke 4 1 1 2 3 6 -3 4
Atheistic Right 4 0 1 3 1 5 -4 1


MD1: Bye
MD2: Atheistic Right - Tadjikistan D 1-1
MD3: Tadjikistan - Radke W 4-2
MD4: N. Ceasarea - Tadjikistan D 1-1
MD5: Apo. Kittens - Tadjikistan
MD6: Tadjikistan - Pastorville
MD7: Tadjikistan - Spruitland
MD8: Bye
MD9: Tadjikistan - Atheistic Right
MD10: Radke - Tadjikistan
MD11: Tadjikistan - N. Ceasarea
MD12: Tadjikistan - Apo. Kittens
MD13: Pastorville - Tadjikistan
MD14: Spruitland - Tadjikistan

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
Mateys earn a lucky draw

In matchday four the Mateys squad travelled ranked 34 Milchama, and although they suffered a defeat in their last game morale was high after a very good display.

The Mateys today decided to play in their alternate strip of green, had reverted back to their normal formation of 4-4-2 instead of the 4-5-1 used in the last game against Sarzonia.

The match began quite slowly with nothing much happening for the first twenty minutes until Elana Kilinin took a shot from deep which rattle Brian Livingston's left post. At this point Milchama pilled on the pressure streaming forward in numbers, which tested the Mateys back four. It was clear Dunston Copperlee was getting frustrated as he was constantly being caught offside by a very aware Mateys defence.

With scores still at 0-0 it was all to play for, but the Mateys where in a similar position in the last game which they let slip, they where determined not to do the same this time.
The Mateys kicked off the 2nd half and seemed content just to pass the ball about and did so for what seemed an age until Keith Livingston released Joe Bellucci down the left hand side who's pace was two much for Casey Stockholm , he took a shot but it was welled saved by Clay Finton.
Finton then kicked the ball far up field as Milchama looked to hit on the counter, and they did so, this was the time that Dunston Copperlee wasnt caught offside, he was left with a one on one with the goalkeeper and he cheekily lobbed it over him, 1-0.

The pressure from Milchama continued , with Brian Livingston being tested in the goal time and time again, Mills Thompson came very close at a corner which was hit off the line by David Armstrong.

The Mateys goal came towards the end of the game with David armstrong passing to to Joe Bellucci who sent in an early cross but Kendric Pevington missed the header letting the ball fall to Amusi Akobyi who wouldn't miss, from there he hit the ball on a half volley, i dont think the keeper even saw the ball after Amusi struck it.

Final score
Milchama 1 - 1 Lisburn Mateys
Dunston Copperlee - 52
Amusi Akobyi - 87

Speaking to Paul Kirk after the game:
Reporter: Mateys are currently third in the group and are doing much better than anyone expected, what is your secret?
Kirk: Well we work hard in training, we have a tremendous team spirit and fans that give us a tweleth man that is alwasy watching over us, however wehave to remain focused, its along way to go and we have to be careful against complacency

Cuation grab 2nd place after three games

After the heart rendering loss in the first game, Cuation had to fight back before there bye. After that, they would have to pick up form if they are to merit a shot at second place. Let us see how such an inconsistent team have got on:


Cuation Brushes Slakaj Aside!


Giovanni showed what he can do when on form, buzzing around the team and setting up chances with his many passes. Cuation should have scored more but relaxed at 2-0, having already wasted many chances. The team did not put in the same energy as against Bettia, looking somewhat tired as the game wore on.

Giovanni scored the first with twenty minutes played from a free kick. Ashton had been brought down just outside the box and while Slakaj players protested, Giovanni steered the ball into the net with the goalie out of position and the wall not formed. The awes fans where not happy but the Cuation lead was deserved.

Rual Mendiz was awful in the first half, missing a ton of chances and failing to get on the end of many crosses from the wings. The worst miss was when Milnar had been sent clear on goal by a Giovanni through ball. After rounding the keeper, the angle was too tight so he pulled it back for Rual Mendiz. Open goal, great angle and the hotshot sliced it into the corner flag.

At half time, Rual and the tired Roy where replaced by Anderton and Keane with Giovanni dropping into midfield. Without two minutes, Keane had doubled the lead. Giovanni sent in a floating ball from the left flank, the keeper came for it but was unable to catch it as Anderton outmuscle him, sending the ball just behind Keane. With a cheeky back heel, the ball went through the markers legs and into the net.

Swiss ""Cheese" Charag would come on for Yan as the game dwindled into Cuation passing the ball around and wasting time and seemingly unwilling to rack up a high scoreline.

Bye Day

Yep the Cuation team trained and used the day to regain fitness. Sitting third of the bottom isn't that fun but a win and a close defeat to Bettia is not a bad start.

Cuation Do what Bettia Failed!


After a shock 3-1 away win against Bettia, an away match against Cuation seemed to hold little fear. Cuation fans where impressed by the victory over Bettia and where fearful that Cuation team would succumb to yet another little team.

In the end, it was a an easy enough win for Cuation as they took their chances whereas the five man strike force of Chuck Norris failed to convert when facing Gary Jens. With Rio dropping back often to help the defence and Giovanni having the freedom of the pitch, Cuation's system worked better then the away teams.

To be fair to Bob Janney, he probably didn't expect his forward to struggle so against a leaky defence and an erratic keeper. Chuck Norris himself is a dirty dirty player and after one attempted round house kick resulted in Roy Ferguson needing stitches, he found himself pretty much hacked out of the game.

The first chance fell to Cuation, Giovanni finding some space before attempting to chip Mr. Bednarik but the ball was too high, dropping onto the roof of the net. Then Chuck Norris shrugged off Jonathan Yan before attempting a roundhouse kick. He got the shot away but managed to kick Roy Ferguson in the head as the experienced midfielder tried to block. Gary Jens saved the effort but home team where far from forgiving.

Absorbing one attack in the 35th minute, the defence got the ball to Rio Samba. Looking up, he spotted the run of Ashton behind Yianni Karvo. With Rual and Giovanni occupying the defenders, Ashton easily got to the ball and sprinted clear inside. Zach Brickhouse's attempt to cut him off was too late, Ashton unleashing one of his famed power drives, the power and accuracy beating the keeper with ease.

1-0 up, Gary Jens had to make several saves, the pick of the bunch being a parry from OJ Pimpson's low drive from inside the six yard box. He was assisted well by the defence that kept the strikers from getting into good positions for most of the game.

Just before half time, Cuation added another blow to Chuck Norris's team. A firm tackle on Zach Brickhouse by Roy Ferguson on the half way line allowed the ball to fall to Giovanni. Coming forward with the ball, he spotted Milnar racing into the box. With a chipped through pass, the ball looped over the defence and sent Milnar one on one with the keeper. Mr. Bednarik covered the angle well but was rounded, Milnar poking the ball into the empty net.

Half time saw Cuation continue to defend though the constant pressure of the five strikers meant that chances went towards the away team more then Cuation managed on the counter attack. The second half saw Cuation make it 3-0 in the 64th minute.

It should never have happened, Scottest Hovest had time to clear or start an attack yet he dawdled into Rual was upon him. Losing control of the ball in his surprise, Hovest was unable to retrieve it as Mendiz burst past him and into the box, clear on goal. Feigning to shoot to the far post, he almost wrong footed Mr. Bednarik but he recovered enough to get a hand onto the shot. He managed to take the power off it but still the ball creped inside his near post, Rual Mendiz put the game beyond doubt with his third of the cup.

Rual, Giovanni and Gary Jens where replaced by Anderton, Cheese and Judo Monsseri as Cuation went to a 6-3-1 formation and giving experience to Judo. Content to pass it around up front, the defence would boot it for Anderton to knock down. The barrage they faced was fierce and Fighting Norris grabbed the goal they deserved.

Brian Boitano scored his first World Cup goal, dancing past Butcher and playing a one-two with OJ Pimpson to get inside. With the defence having opened up, he had room to shoot. Curling the ball towards the top corner, he left Judo helpless and gained applause all around the ground.

This win over a good side gave Cuation a much needed boost as they leapt to second place. Position hardly matters this early but it is certainly a nice feeling to be so high. Expect Fighting Norris to bounce back from this defeat.

Kericia vs Boudra-Boudra

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/kericia.jpg vs http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/boudra-boudra.jpg

Boudrans Prove Strong on the Road
Winning in Kericia

As the Kerician and Boudran players swapped shirts the Boudran delegation was celebrating as they somehow had won two of the most difficult matches on their schedule. After beating Andossa Se Mitrin Vega it was now Kericia who saw three points taken away from them as the Boudran team in both halves started with a stunning 20 minutes of football to go over in a more defensive state. In the first half it was Arintz Efefefe-Ijlf, the 20 year old, who scored after 11 minutes by just shoving the ball through the legs of home keeper Eddie Nicoloso. However, after about a half hour, it was the Kerician team who senced that the Boudran players had used a lot of energy as they shifted their play up one gear to create more chances. Kerician forward Giorgios Kazantzis scored one of those chances, meanwhile showing his brilliant technique. With a 1-1 on the scoreboard at half-time, it was Linus-Gunfi Pok yelling at his players in the lockerroom, as his team should have been at least 2 goals up front. The Boudran team used the same tactics during the second half as they again started strongly, trying to win the game through taking an early lead. This time their tactics went better as both Njjik Rahlii, heading in a corner kick, and Malimbo Tar, with a long distance shot, upped the score to 1-2 and 1-3 respectively. After that the Boudran team started defending and were a few times lucky when Ohène Strok'pah was beaten but someone was still able to put a leg in front of the ball and kick it into safety. Giorgos Kazantzis was having a very good day however as he managed to score just ten minutes from the end. It proved to be too little too late as Boudra-Boudra held on to win. Boudra-Boudra now hold six points out of twelve and will be looking to improve that ratio after their day of rest at home against unranked Philthealbino, who have yet to score their first goal. After that Boudra-Boudra will host Rorysville, who are performing extremely well. They managed to pull out a stunt just like Boudra-Boudra in ASMV and they even did it better as they beat ASMV not 1-2, but 1-3. However, considering the last two matches, Boudra-Boudra should be going for twelve points at the half way point.

Final score:
Kericia 2 - 3 Boudra-Boudra

0-1 Arintz Efefefe-Ijlf '11
1-1 Giorgos Kazantzis '39
1-2 Njjik Rahlii '48
1-3 Malimbo Tar '53
2-3 Giorgos Kazantzis '82

The Boudran lineup:

Goalkeeper:
- Ohène Strok'pah

Defenders:
- Simon Samuelsson
- Hanz Buyakasha (captain)
- Indridi-Ptô Burns (off, 72 mins)

Midfielders:
- Rikke Gallucio
- Bernardino Maria Eduardo Garcia de la Col Delgado
- Torsten Oppt-Sjlook
- Njjik Rahlii

Forwards:
- Arintz Efefefe-Ijlf
- Sosimo Bradkorb (off, 69 mins)
- Malimbo Tar

Replacements:
- Mikko Piminio (For, 69 mins)
- Rintje Jacobus-Fredriksson (Def, 72 mins)

Goalscorers for Boudra-Boudra during WC28Q:
2: Arintz Efefefe-Ijlf
1: Sosimo Bradkorb, Njjik Rahlii and Malimbo Tar.

Other MD4 Results in Group 7
Philthealbino 0-1 Jeruselem
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 1-3 Rorysville

The WCQ Schedule for Boudra-Boudra:
Matchday 1: Boudra-Boudra - Becquerelia lost 0-1
Matchday 2: Boudra-Boudra - Jeruselem lost 0-2
Matchday 3: Andossa Se Mitrin Vega - Boudra-Boudra won 1-2
Matchday 4: Kericia - Boudra-Boudra won 2-3
Matchday 5: Bye
Matchday 6: Boudra-Boudra - Philthealbino
Matchday 7: Boudra-Boudra - Rorysville
Matchday 8: Becquerelia - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 9: Jeruselem - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 10: Boudra-Boudra - Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Matchday 11: Boudra-Boudra - Kericia
Matchday 12: Bye
Matchday 13: Philthealbino - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 14: Rorysville - Boudra-Boudra

Islanders March On

MD 4 saw Cataduanes facing lowly Magnus Valerius who had failed to secure a single point in their first three fixtures, The Boyars played an attacking style of football that was quickly taken apart by Cataduanes who from the off dominated the midfield holding possesion via the determined central midfield pairing of Toni Souletano and Butch Lim who outmuscled Jonathon Song and Heinrich Zerbst. the deadlock was broken in the 29th minute when Armando Ribera's cross was punched out of the box by the visitors goalie, Gustav Sibel, only to have it volleyed back towards the goal from 25 yards out by Butch Lim.

However the Boyars dug deep and began to play on the counter attack and in the 35th minute equalised when Stephan Bobrinsky's longball was picked up by Kyrill Feodorov who rapidly advance into the Cataduanes box and with a cheeky chip over Jose Sullop scored. The Islanders, shocked by the goal, seem to almost collapse and where forced onto the defensive as the Magnus Valerius players seem to sense blood and began to earnestly to look for a second goal, howver the home side held on grimly till half time.

No doubt the Islanders faced a severe bollocking by Coach Manua and what ever the old general said must have worked as the Islanders came out for the second half looking determined, like the first half the home side started well dominating posession in the center of the park, but unlike the first half the Islanders did not falter after getting there second goal in the 55th minute with Marco Ruedas and Toni Souletano playing the 1-2 to put Ruedas into space from where his sublime cross wass converted with a beautiful half volley by Carlos Guarin. And the attacks kept coming with the visitors forwards having very little of the ball, the Magnus Valerius backline experienced real problems with the runs of Armando Ribera and Marco Ruedas down the wings and it was from the wings again that the third goal came in the 63rd minute with Ribera's mighty cross being converted by an athletic header from Butch Sacario who outjumped Nestor Lucinius to get his head to the ball and slot it into the top right corner of the visitors goal.

With the score line running at 3-1 Magnus Valerius made some changes on the 70th minute with Mongke Urt-Urumqi coming off for Luca Romanus and Stephan Bobrinsky coming off for Vincent Dravayzhushsky. In reply the islanders made there own changes with Butch Lim making way for Luis Marron-Vega. Despite all this the visitors failed to improve and where duly punished again when substitute Vincent Dravayzhushsky conceded a penalty in the 85th minute after fouling Carlos Guarin in the box, Dravayzhushsky was also given marching orders from the ref who produced a red card to the Isangrad Legion defender, the spotkick was slotted into the bottom left corner by Mattias Lopez Cerro to seal the victory.

This victory leaves the Islanders undefeated and they top the group table on goal difference with FMJ Phoenix level on points in second place. The Islanders face New Lexington at home on MD 5 and many pundits are hoping that the good form continues with the major test of resolve coming on MD 6 when the Cataduanes Seleccion go to face FMJ Phoenix away.


Cataduanes - 4 (Lim, Guarin, Sacario, Lopez Cerro)

Magnus Valerius - 1 (Feodorov)

“Welcome everyone to today’s shortened edition of Tynelian Soccer Weekly’s continuing World Cup 28 coverage. Our national squad was off today and that may have been a good thing. Today it seems was the day when the top seeds sent a message to the lower seeds that playtime is over. I’m Sal Spikeman and with me as always is Anna Dalespin. This was a tough day for Tynelia even though they didn’t play today as all three top seeds came out with wins. Krytenia 2-0 over Giesenfried, Turori 1-0 over Talmeria and the Lowland Clans 3-2 over the Algal States. Makes things a bit tougher for our team now wouldn’t you say Anna?”

“Certainly Sal, Tynelia would have been helped a great deal had any of these teams either drew or lost today. Now suddenly Tynelia finds itself in a situation where its first loss could knock them all the way down to third or fourth. With a Turori/Geisenfried and Lowland Clans/Talmeria pairings next its possible that both the second and third seeds can win again. If they do and Tynelia loses then suddenly Krytenia pulls three points ahead of us, the Lowland Clans jump over us by two points and we’d be tied with Turori depending on goal differential for the third spot. Pretty much Tynelia must find a way to get some points in their toughest test of group play against the top seed. Even a draw would result in being no worse than 1 point out of first. A win would be huge but most likely asking too much.”

“Amazing how quickly things can change in one day. Just to show you, last show we mentioned the nine fourth seeds that were either in first or tied for first, not counting goal differential after the third match. Now one match later and only Dance 2 Revolution, Becquerelia, and Tynelia can claim even a tie for first with Becquerelia the only ones in first outright. And all of these teams as well as the other high placed fourth seeds will all be playing the top team in their group next and a sudden drop back to the middle of the pack is very possible for most of these mid ranked squads.”

“That’s right Sal. Tynelia needs to have paid close attention to the Krytenia match with Geisenfried and hope that Coach Greg Tudor can come up with a gameplan to slow down the Krytenian offense. We do have a favorable goal differential at the moment but that could change these next few matches.”

“Well on the plus side Anna, you have to notice that Krytenia won by the same 2-0 score Tynelia did the match before. However the difference here is that Tynelia won at home while Krytenia was on the road. Still an encouraging sign either way. And while we’re at it Tynelia is in some elite company in another manner as well. To date only five teams have yet to surrender a goal so far in Cup play. As far as that goes Tynelia and more specifically Amy Whiteworth finds herself in the elite company of the top team in the world Bedistan, 9th ranked Registania, 10th in the world Oliverry and 21st ranked Spruitland. To be mentioned in the same breath as three of the top ten teams in the world is quite an accomplishment even if it’s only after three matches.”

“Yes that’s quite a feat Sal. A strong showing in net tends to inspire the offense because they know that they don’t need to be counted on to score 3 or 4 goals a match to win every night so they can play more relaxed. On the other hand opponents come and see what they’re up against and sometimes try to get overly complicated to try and slip something past a strong keeper which usually leads to mistakes and scoring opportunities at the other end.”

“Another helpful point for Tynelia is that this is the lowest scoring group in the qualifiers. Only two teams in the group have even scored as much as 4 goals so far, unfortunately for Tynelia, Krytenia is one of them which is even more impressive given they were shutout by the Algal States in their first match. Only group 13 has so few teams reaching that mark with every other group containing four or more teams at that point. This will be very helpful when it comes to goal differential. Tynelia is a low scoring team so if everyone else isn’t bring large splits to the table, our chances get better when it comes to tiebreakers.

“So it all boils down to this Anna. Can Tynelia steal some points off the top seed?”

“It will be extremely difficuly given that Tynelia has yet to defeat any top fifty team though they did earn a draw against Total n Utter Insanity in the last Cup at home. That’s probably about the best we can hope for here. However I think Krytenia was a bit upset with their play against the Algal States and want to prevent any further stirrings of hope among the lower ranked teams. I think the game will be fairly close but I think the visitors will come away with a 2-1 win over us. But still a 1 goal loss would be a good result for Tynelia as it will still leave them with a positive goal differential going up against a low scoring Turori team next.

"As far as they go, I think they might be surprised by Geisenfried, neither team scores very much or allows many goals so this could turn out to be a 1-1 draw. Tynelian fans are probably hoping so given they are still worried more about the number 2 seed than the number 7 though that could change if Geisenfried continues to hang around. In the other match Talmeria seems ripe for the picking for the Lowland Clans as the co-worst defense in the group faces the top scorers of the group. This should be a comfortable win for the Clans by 3-1 or so.”

“Ok then Anna, so it looks like Tynelia will drop a spot or two then overall if what you say is true. But don’t worry viewers the game has yet to be played and with weather forecasts of rain for tonight’s game poor field conditions tends to help defenses more than offenses so Tynelia may yet come through in the clutch. But we’ll all find out soon enough when TSW’s World Cup coverage continues live for the Tynelian home defense against top tanked Krytenia. Until then this is Sal Spikeman for Anna Dalespin wishing everyone a good night.”

* Weird music theme *

Rachel "Good morning this is Rachel Goldstein for JGN at the World Cup 28. The game between Jeruselem and ... wait ... phil the albino ... was finished. Another win for Jeruselem one nil although it wasn't a pretty one. Jeruselem stay 2nd and still trail Becquerelia. I watched the game and it seemed the coach Mr X field some reserves at the back to test them, pllayed more defensively for some reason. In my opinion, we should have attacked much more."

* Harry Kool turns up *

"Sorry, I'm late. Too many autographs to sign."

Rachel "You're opinion of the game?"

Harry "Oh the game. The coach needs to push more men up front, we are not System Karela. I want more Takil in our team"

Rachel "As for the other Group 7 games, Rorysville upset the sea dragons! Unbelievable!"

Harry "Rorysville are on a roll here. They draw with us and beat the sea dragons. Maybe they can make top 4 but good teams rise to the occasion when needed. Maybe the sea dragons just need some time to settle. That Rory team needs to be watched"

Rachel "Boudra-Boudra are also on roll. three two win over Kericia"

Harry "Kericia with two losses. Boudra-Boudra beat them but they have rebounded of late with two wins, but the win over Kericia is very important. Having set up the run, you must keep going and getting points as good teams mature late and overrun weak ones late towards the end of the qualification"

Rachel "Becquerelia are still top with 3 wins as they had the bye so, the lower teams will be hit with byes later"

Harry "Becquerelia look good, but when they play the sea dragons and us, that is a test."

Rachel "Hockey Canada won their game against Iksonic one nil"

Harry "Haven't seen the game, but the Canucks are probably taking it a little slow until crunch time. Jeruselem won one nil and three points is three points regardless of the final winning margin"

Rachel "Nedalia won again. Two one against Emperor Pudu"

Harry "I like the Pudu team but this Lions team is much better. They look hungry for victory and have lots of fight. They have started really well, and let's hope no fade outs later. It would be a total dissappointment"

Rachel "Speculation, you want to coach the under 21 team?"

Harry "No one's offered anything. If they offer, I will consider"

Rachel "This is Rachel and Harry signing off for JGN at the World Cup 28"

* Camera off *

Harry "Hey Rachel, want a drink or something?"

Rachel "About time you asked, you know I'm a fan of yours."

Harry "Good then, let's go"

Akbaria Advocate
Bluff On Edge As Swifts See Red

The boos rang out at Harbour Road after Wentland failed to beat minnows New-Lexington. The Kings made the 170 place difference in the world rankings look minuscule with a spirited (and physical) display that left the Swifts battered and bruised, as well as a further two points down. Qualification already looks impossible.

Perhaps to please the home crowd Edgar Bluff started with three from the Dockers, including Billy Lawrence making his first international start, but the gamble backfired spectacularly. The pugnacious midfielder saw himself battered from pillar to post by Grandville defender Mason Crosby who just managed to keep on the right side of the referee – unlike the hapless Lawrence, who managed to last half-an-hour before launching himself at his tormentor, fists flying, and a red card was the result.

Every touch of Crosby’s was met with boos thereafter but he could not care less. Indeed, he seemed to revel in the attention, and he was instrumental in the shock opening goal as he got his head to a vicious free-kick from Trudeau and Derrington’s great save was for nought as Trevor Griggs blasted the rebound home. 1-0 right on half-time.

They say a manager earns his spurs at the half-time team-talk. Edgar Bluff did his best to do so. A triple substitution saw the Swifts abandon any pretence at defence and throw everyone forward. Within five minutes it had paid off with strikers queueing up in the penalty area and it was Tommy Barns who buried a half-volley after ping-pong in the box.

However, the risks of a treble substitution include problems with injuries – and the Swifts’ injury curse struck again with a vengeance. Barnes was taken off the pitch with concussion after a clash of heads and after Crosby raked Loder’s Achilles (for which the Grandville man saw yellow) the Swifts were down to eight men for a time. Barnes came back on a-swathed in bandages but the nine men could not break down the eleven.

The Blackport crowd was not impressed. Their first taste of international football and Wentland could not even beat the sixth rank team. For the first time questions are being asked about Edgar Bluff’s management.

Dear diary,

This is not easy man...after all those sleepless nights we're still not performing the way we want to. Another unimpressive performance against Oglethorpia...the attack isn't penetrating enough...and the midfield doesn't dare to be creative about it...but at least we got a point from it...but I tell you this, things have got to improve...and soon. It's about time we started putting what we have worked on on the training pitch into tangible results, especially in front of our home fans! We can't afford to be letting these points slip away like that...I mean 4 points in 3 matches is not acceptable...we can't keep hoping for a late charge...haiz...yet another sleepless night I guess...

D

Woodstock Daily Mail

Stars push toward first place in table

by Ryan Calvin
Daily Mail Columnist

1 MAY 2006 -- The Sarzonian national football team started out with a thud, playing to a scoreless draw in its opening match then a listless 2-0 win in its second match, but showed the world its pedigree by ripping off a convincing 5-1 win to move the Stars into a tie for first place atop the Group 11 table. A favourable goal differential puts Sarzonia in the clear for first place.

"That's not where we want to be," forward Kevin Wilson said of the team's standing being tied for first. "We want to finish atop the table, but more importantly, we want to play the way we're capable of playing in the World Cup finals themselves."

The Stars (2-1-0, seven points) can't be blamed for looking toward the World Cup proper after falling in the Round of 16 for only the second time in national team history in World Cup XXVI and being eliminated in the group stage for the first time since World Cup XX in the last World Cup. The players were unanimous in their assessment of the team's need to improve when the stakes get higher.

"We only played well last time out when there was nothing left to play for," midfielder Jenna Raven said. "That's not us. We're not a team that chokes like Audioslavia. We've got to remain focused and we should hopefully be able to do that without you guys putting the pressure of a perfect run on us."

To wit, the Stars ensured they wouldn't have a perfect run with their goalless draw against Oglethorpia in their first match of the World Cup qualifying campaign. That seemed to loosen the Stars up a bit, but the play of goalkeeper Roger Treadway seemed to relax the team even more.

"He's been huge for us," Coach Dave Wilson said. "He has a tough act to follow after [former Stars keeper Horace Sandt] retired, but he's just gone in and played his way and that's really settled us down." To wit, Treadway has arguably replaced the legendary Sandt in the best possible way: Playing his own game and not focusing on Sandt's accomplishments.

"I can't get caught up in all that," Treadway said. "Right now, I'm the starting goalkeeper for this team and I play at the pleasure of the coach. If he wants to make a change tomorrow, I've got to accept that and move on and help the guy who's in there. But if he wants me to play that role, I'll play it. I don't worry about Sandt possibly being in there [the World Cup Hall of Fame]. I've just got to be Roger Treadway."

For the Stars, that may be good enough.

Kings tie Wentland 1-1
New-Lexington United Press
The Kings gave yet another valiant effort agian today earning a tie verses higher-seeded Wentland. Trevor Griggs scored his 2nd WC28 goal and Michael lee made fifteen saves but let one in as New-Lexington still remains in the playoff chase. Next up for the Kings will be #39 Cataduanes. Manager Chris Fryland says no lineup changes will be made. Defenceman Mason Crosby said"We are playing great at this point, and we have a shot at making the playoff finals for WC28, but we have to keep this play up and continue to produce offensively and stop them defensively." New-Lexington is playing well with a 1-1-2 record and sits in the middle of Group 12. All fo here at NLUP wish teh Kings good luck in their next game. Go Kings!!!!!

The island of St Happenin. Wentland’s first visit there. The squad was in subdued mood before the match. Treves was out injured. Lawrence out suspended. After the disaster of New-Lexington Edgar Bluff decided that the Swifts needed to let off some steam and let the squad out to do what they wanted. For the match itself, he was going to go pro-attack. 3-2-5. Wright, Moon and Culthorpe across the back. Capper and Weston in midfield. Loder and Kent flanking the threefold forward line, Smith playing between Barnes and Hopkins. No other forward options on the bench. But Bluff was past caring, they needed a win – and a big one – to get the campaign back on track.

Most of the squad went to the beach. But John Capper was being John Capper. The Book had led him to know the qualification fixtures before they had even come out. And he had prepared for St Happenin.

To the cathedral, where the relics of the holy saint remained. There he felt he would receive a sign. He joined a few desultory pilgrims and tourists in the vast nave, where St Happenin’s mortal remains were buried.

The tomb was of silent marble. Cool to the touch. Raised effigy atop. The benign features of the martyr looked on the ceiling. Capper looked up, following the gaze, to the exquisite bosses fixed in the very centre of the cupola above the tomb. A bishop on a horse, riding in front of a castle. What could that mean?

Capper turned back to St Happenin. It was only then that he noticed the hands were not in a conventional prayer position. The hands were angled slightly. Capper moved behind the head of the tomb and looked along the hands. They were pointing to a stained-glass window. Again a bishop riding a horse in front of a castle. This was exasperating.

But it was May Day. And nearly mid-day to boot. A shaft of sunlight suddenly burst through the top of the window. The Book was again toying with Capper. He had come at the right time. The shaft of sunlight illuminated a spot on the floor and as Capper watched the beam’s end moved as the sun shifted position. As the bells sounded the mid-day peal the sunbeam was positioned exactly on another tomb – on a bishop’s mitre.

So it was a bishop he needed. And as Capper started to think the Bishop of St Happenin emerged from the vestry for a mid-day service. The bishop spoke to the pilgrims and came to Capper.

The two men looked into each other’s eyes. Neither spoke. The Bishop gave a sad smile and placed his hand on Capper’s head. “I know what you have to go through, my son,” said the Bishop. “I give you my blessing. And please accept this as a token of my appreciation.”

The Bishop handed Capper a tiny silver medallion. On it was carved St Happenin, on both the obverse and reverse. On the former was St Happenin the martyr, undergoing his painful death. On the latter, St Happenin as bishop, preaching to the rocks who were slowly, as the story has it, changing into men.

Capper blinked back a tear. Five down. Three to go.

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png
Geis Are Fried
by Rami Niblick in Geisenfried

KRYTENIA rocketed to the top of Group Fifteen as the Golden Eagles were hunted down without mercy. The Aces were defensively majestic, and two first-half goals were enough to see off the home side here.

Krytenia started off at a blistering place, giving the Eagles' five-man midfield a huge feat of work to do early on, and frustrations began to boil over after just five minutes, Georg Canitz booked for a rash challenge on Wood-Collins. It took only a further seven minutes for Krytenia to score though, as Wood-Collins fed the ball through to Quinnell, who slotted past the helpless Ackermann perfectly. Quinnell scored his second after half an hour as he headed home a Tejai cross perfectly.

Once again, the Krytenian defence shut up shop in the second half, and though sub Vincent Holtz hit the post late on for the hosts, Yannick Nourisse kept his second clean sheet in three games. It sets up an interesting tie in the Aces' next match as they travel to Tynelia, who have proved the early surprise team of the group. A win for the visitors would be crucial, as it would put vital daylight between them and the chasing pack.

GEISENFRIED - 0


KRYTENIA - 2
Quinnell 12, 30

TOURNAMENT SCORERS
J. Quinnell - 3
J. Jaffacake-Phillips - 1
Tejai - 1

QUALIFYING SCHEDULE
MD1: NO FIXTURE
MD2: A v ALG D 0-0
MD3: A v TLM W 3-1
MD4: A v GEI W 2-0
MD5: A v TYN ?????
MD6: H v TLC ????? (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD7: H v TUR ????? (New City Stadium, Avidia)
MD8: NO FIXTURE
MD9: H v ALG ????? (The Mound, Secklow)
MD10: H v TLM ????? (ArenaWest, Aigburth)
MD11: H v GEI ????? (Denbigh Park, Ousevale)
MD12: H v TYN ????? (Mellion Lane, Davisham)
MD13: A v TLC ?????
MD14: A v TUR ?????

Comments overheard in the P2GSA Headquarters after the Duana Hills match:

"Who the (edited for our younger readers) let that (see previous parenthetical) South Osettian referee into P2G? I thought there had been a ban placed on any of those (see initial parenthetical) South Osettians entering the country!"


"If it wasn't for that (see first parenthetical) biased referee we would still be ahead of Starblaydia in the group tables! Now we don't have any chance of being ahead of them going into our first meeting!"


"Can't we get the (see previous parentheticals) WCC to place a ban on any South Osettians refereeing a P2G match?"

"Probably not. Those lazy (insert string of choice words describing how great the WCC is) on the WCC can't get their heads out of their arses long enough to vote on their own next president, never mind listening to a request like that!"


"That (see first parenthetical) referee is as biased as the..." (a hand was clasped over this speakers mouth at that point)



OOC: Can anyone tell I'm a LITTLE upset at losing at home to a team I should have beaten easily? [/sarcasm] Obviously, no offense intended towards Duana Hills, the WCC, and our hosts in this rant.

Woodstock Daily Mail

Ryan Calvin

Stars to P2G: Enough Already!

1 May 2006 -- The sight was one that should be familiar to Stars fans. Just replace "South Osettia" with names like Xile, Rejistania, or Bedistan and you'll have an idea of what Praying2God and their media outlets have consistently said about South Osettia almost from the moment those two nations began a footballing rivalry that has shown signs of exploding outside the lines.

Only one problem. The nation of South Osettia no longer exists and hasn't for years. That fact led Sarzonia Coach Dave Wilson to interrupt his post match news conference with a pointed reaction to the complaints by Praying2God about the "South Osettian" referee in the match.

"They need to shut up about it already," Wilson fumed. "That particular ref has a Sarzonian passport and has been a naturalised citizen for seven years. Frankly, I don't give a [hoot] where he was born. The fact is, he's Sarzonian and that insult of a Sarzonian should not be allowed to stand.

"Look, I realise that we have a less-than-friendly relationship with several national footballing sides, Bedistan especially, but much of that has been played out on the pitch and there's at least a modicum of respect we have for the teams we play. You just don't get that sense with Praying2God. Besides, the nation of South Osettia has not existed in several years. It gets real tiresome."

The outburst about Praying2God's comments came as a bit of a surprise, especially since the Stars have only faced Praying2God once, and lost. But Wilson said "you don't play footie in a vacuum. I just had to say enough already about the constant harping on South Osettia."

The Stars have a 2-1-0 record in three matches in World Cup XXVIII, with Sarzonia earning the edge on goal differential. The team said they would not make requests about the prospect of facing Praying2God referees in later matches, nor would they request the removal of Euroslavian referees in spite of the ongoing tensions between the two former allies.

"What's done is done," Wilson said. "I'm ready to move on. Praying2God needs to be ready to do the same. Otherwise, they'll lose our respect and they won't have much of a chance to get it back."

Cuation To Rest Players!

Home against the Burning Penguins, a new team of little ability should be easy enough. Cuation have a history of failing against these teams and should be starting a drop in form in a few games so points now are vital, a first team should be sent out to try and gain three points in a tricky tie. This is why manager Jude's decision to use his bench is a surprise.

Gary Jens, picking up form will be replaced by solid catholic Jose. Captain Jonathan Yan will be rested with young Cheese starting alongside Hargreves. Fiery Roy Ferguson will be replaced with playmaker Giovanni dropping back. Hotshot Rual Mendiz will be replaced as well so the front two will be Anderton and Pual Keane.

Having recently had a rest day, the team shouldn't be tired but maybe the legs can not carry them through all the matches. Cuation will show the apprentices how to counter. With the defence pressing, it will leave Cuation room for their attacking players to make runs in behind them and are quite willing to kick these animal hurters out of the game.

Cuation scorers so far:
Mendiz: 3
Giovanni: 1
Tanner: 1
Keane: 1
Ashton: 1
Milnar: 1

The Daily Rabbler
Home to the Kodiaks

Screw It
Kodiaks Tune Out After Yet Another Upset

Expect the news to be rather short, after the Kodiaks decided to go 1-02 on their homestand with a random 2-1 loss to unknown and unhearaled Canabinol.

The news agencies have chosen to just stop talking about the Kodiaks since the team obviously doesn't need more bad press.

MATCHDAY SCHEDULES

MD 1: v Nedalia (@ Steelgrounds, Atens)
MD 2: off day (practice in Cana)
MD 3: v Emperor Pudu (@ Stock City Grounds, Jaxx)
MD 4: v Canabinol (@ Mountainside Fairgrounds, Castille)
MD 5: @ Blitzwehr
MD 6: @ Collonie
MD 7: @ Total n Utter Insanity
MD 8: @ Nedalia
MD 9: off day (practice in Cana)
MD10: @ Emperor Pudu
MD11: @ Canabinol
MD12: v Blitzwehr (@ Grand Free State International Playing Grounds, Provincetown)
MD13: v Collonie (@ Island Clan Stadia, Palace Heights)
MD14: v Total n Utter Insanity (@ Southampton National Square)

[OOC: Considering I was/is/whatevber the only person in my group RPing and yet I still find inventive ways to RP, I'll just be quiet and see if I can do what all the other high rankers do and make the finals anyways. Or with my luck and the magickal abilities of the new sides, I'll just go 1-0-11. Either way, I think Chicanada is done RPing for what appears to be no damn reason for a while]

A Public Service Announcement From the Squornshelan Government

As we're sure many of you were unaware of this fact, and wondering at the silence from the Squornshelan media concerning Squornshelous' two most recent victories in World Cup 28 qualifying, we feel it is our duty to inform the world that, in order to assure quality broadcasting, every reporter, anchor, talk radio host and in fact, the entire Squornshelan media, has been subjected to a series of exams in the subjects of Calculus, Chemistry and Computer Science, taking place today, tomorrow and the day after. Doubtless, they will return to their superb coverage of our Pschychoes following this hiatus.

The Schiavone Scribe
SFF Question Hosts
Schiavonia 2-4 Vejar

The Schiavone Football Federation last night questioned the hosts of World Cup 28 as to whether or not the fact that not only are they a non-Orthodox nation, but one that dared challenge the supremecy of the Orthodox hosting bid, is making them send heavily biased referees to Schiavone matches.

Losing one-nil at home against CR Oscilloscopes was hard to take, but losing four-two at home to Vejar? A team that couldn't even hold their own in a Baptism of Fire tournament coming to the King Francesco Stadium and winning so convincingly?

At least last time out the Sloths lost to a team who just played better on the day. Yesterdays game was an outrage.

If the officials from The Archregimancy had overseen the game like officials should do, then it would be OK. But they didn't, and what should have ben a five-two victory for the home team ended up a four-two reverse.

Even the normally calm Rodney Lowe was seething. "Eight penalties for Vejar? The referee was fooled every time one of their players tumbled to the ground. If they'd have been able to shoot, we'd have lost by a record scoreline! And McAndrew's sending off for being punched in the face was atrocious! He got a broken nose from that, and then sent off for allegedly head butting the thug's fist."

Lowe didn't blame it upon the referee's ethnicity, though. "Idiots come from all religions across the world. It's just that this one happened to be from an Orthodox extremist nation that the SFF challenged for hosting rights and lost. Only the cynical would say that the Monastic Football Association would send a referee who would deliberately make us lose a game like this."

Well, call me cynical, but that's exactly what I think. You don't try to mess with extremists, or they'll get you back when you least expect it and where it hurts you the most. And that would be today, on the football field, against a bunch of no-hopers.

Reports that the SFF are planning a Catholic Crusade to the Dreamed Realm are more than wide of the mark.

Other reports, that the referee, a Fr. Yuri the Moronic, was lost and should actually have been on a campanology course are thought to be more accurate.

Final score
Schiavonia 2 (Tarmey 23, McAndrew 43
Vejar 4 (Some guy (4 pens.) 12, 44, 65, 71)

http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/3532/sbc34jz.gif
We get knocked down
So today is our bye day. and of course you know that this means no matches for team. It also means the team can't score points, and we can get knocked down the rankings because of that. Just like in world cup 27.

Well, so what that we got knocked down. we are still ony a quarter through qualifications, and thta means we still have time to get up to the first place and finally qualify for a world cup, instead of continuing to be a failure of a team. However we don't know how this will look like on the next bye day. Well, we hope it will look good.

OK. since nothing really happens for the team on bye days, lets take a look at tommorow, which is a perfectly normal matchday for Swilatia in this cup. And it looks like our opponents on that day will be the team from Milchama. I do not think we will do very well against them.

well, they are not really that match of a football nation. they are more obsessed with this thing called "baseball", whatever that iis supposed to be. bootm line, we actually do have a chance in a match against them. so lets hope that Swilatia's team will win that match and take back it position in the top half. Go Swilatia!!

Highly unorthodox?
Winthrop Tuesday reports on the burgeoning World Cup scandal

The Daily Rabbler tabloid in Chicanada is not reknowned for pulling its punches. Notorious for its take-no-prisoners style of brutalist reportage, it is nevertheless also feared for its ability to uncover scandals and other shocks.

However its latest edition contains something interesting. A promise not to print any more news. What would provoke a newspaper to say such a thing?

The disgust is caused by the national team’s home defeat by Canabinol. A team ranked 163 places lower in the world rankings than Chicanada. Coupled with a home defeat against Nedalia and a squeaky win over the Emperor Pudu select the Rabbler is apparently disgusted with the organization of the World Cup.

But the murmurings of discontent are not only found in Chicanada. Twenty-seventh ranked Praying2God have formally protested the officiating in their home defeat by one hundred-and-forty-eighth ranked Dauna Hills. Apparently a referee from the former territory of South Osettia was sent to cover the fixture despite the high tensions in P2G over that whole region – in the teeth of protests from the Warriors.

Isolated examples? No. Andossa Se Mitrin Vega might have been expected to pick up six points from the home games against Boudra-Boudra and Rorysville, both ranked in the hundreds, but instead the Sea Dragons have zero and also nearly zero chance of qualifying. The Lowland Clans have lost at home to Geisenfried who had not even played a match before the tournament. Qazox were similarly upset by The Remote Islands. And Haraki were positively dismantled at home by the totally unknown and unconsidered Iksonic.

Set against all this Wentland’s draw at home to the mighty New-Lexington looks to be a positive upset. From Wentland.

So has something gone wrong with the organization? Eyebrows were raised when the highly religious Archregimancy was chosen as co-host. The Dreamed Realm is a much misunderstood region and there have been mutterings that those who do not have sympathy with the Archregimand’s orthodoxy have been discriminated against. Certainly Schiavonia is seething about recent refereeing that has seen them lose consecutive matches against mediocre opposition.

However the truth may be a bit more prosaic. The top seeds in each group are doing pretty well. All of them are lying in qualification positions, with the sole exception of Hockey Canada (who are level on points with the top 2), despite having had their first phase “day off”. Certainly they are all looking pretty much in form.

The second seeds however are a mixed bunch. Wentland has 4 points from 3 home games. Not a great start. But brilliant compared to single-pointed Vilita, who have lost to newcomers Rosberg. The Qutaris are not doing any better. Schiavonia and Chicanada are doing worse. Spaam are unbeaten but their one win, against The Emperialist select, was hardly convincing. Only past host Commerce Heights are holding up the second seed “flag”. Third seeds are generally doing better, although Nanakaland have had a nightmare start and are one of the very few sans points teams at present.

What does one make of this? Perhaps there is an element of over-confidence in the second seeds. Expected to march into the finals with minimal bother, they seem to be underestimating their opponents. Certainly Wentland seemed to expect to stroll through New-Lexington and were badly caught out. The start for the second seeds, home to the third seeds, caught a number unprepared – you would probably expect there to be a slight advantage to the home team in those games but there were five away wins – thirty-three per cent.

Added to this is the thought that second place is seen by the other teams to be “gettable”. The top seeds are generally head and shoulders ahead of everyone else so there is realistically only one place open in any group. So everyone is “up” for the games against the second seeds – and that may explain some of the shock results.

Perhaps more of a concern is not the shock results that have occurred thus far. There will always be shocks and long live the unexpected. No, the major concern is with the top seeds. Three games played for each of them and how many matches, cumulatively, have they lost? None. Zero out of forty-five.

The problem is that the elite have pulled so far clear of the remaining teams that there is almost literally no chance of them being beaten. Perhaps when they play seeds two and three there may be the odd shock, but there seems to be less of a difference between seeds two and seven than there is between one and two. Is this right? Is this fair? Is the creation of a self-perpetuating oligarchy part of some dastardly machination by the Archregimand? Who knows?

We shall indeed see when the next round of fixtures is played. The top seeds visit the fourth seeds, who should give them something of a game. If we are to see a shock I would suggest looking to the Backstaffen Arena, where the Apologetic Kittens host Tadjikistan. The Tigers have been unconvincing to date and given the Kittens’ tight defence a sneaky goal for the home team could see the first defeat for a top seed. But if Tadjikistan do pick up all three points, you can pretty much guarantee the same old faces come the finals…

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

3-1 away Victory, yaaay
That's mostly it.

Yeah, there's not much to say.

A 3-1 away victory against Alberthame was an expected result in such a match. There haven't been any complaints over people cheating, any bad offside calls, and Hill's been reletively quiet about taking random people on over pointless matters.

The most boring World Cup ever? We'd have to wait for it to be over to say that, but it is making a decent run for the money.

Matchday 4 - Group 3

Gaspland 1 Starblaydia 2
Praying2God 0 Dauna Hills 1
Harlesburg 3 Georgeonia 2

Squids' Nightmare Start Continues, Manager's Job on the Line!

For the fourth match in a row the squids played well last night,
and for the fourth match in a row they lost. Their game against
Harlesburg was an exciting affair which could easily have gone
either way, but in the end the home team was victorious thanks
to a headed goal following a corner in the seventieth minute.
Earlier in the match the Squids twice went ahead only to have
the home team equalise within minutes. Georgeonian scorers
Cunningham and Roffey were just two of the squids players who
looked to be on good form, but yet again the squids came away
without any points. The Squids have now scored just one point
from their last eleven competative matches, admittedly every
one against higher ranked opposition, and have lost the last
eight games. Mad Cap'n Bob, long thought to have the best
job security of anyone in Georgeonia, has started to be seriously
questioned and criticised by the national press for the first
time in the thirty matches since he took over control of the
team. It is believed that the Georgeonian Football Association
will allow him two further games to get some points on the board
before 'reviewing' his contract. Cap'n Bob will be grateful for
the bye day the Squids have tonight, and he has taken the squad
to a secret training ground in order to prepare for the next
natches. With the next two games being against Dauna Hills and
Gaspland, both teams who have been recording fantastic wins over
teams much more highly rated than the Squids, few would want to
be in the shoes of Mad Cap'n Bob at this point.

MD01: Home to Vuam and Isma L 1-2
MD02: Home to Starblaydia L 0-2
MD03: Away to Praying2god L 2-0
MD04: Away to Harlesburg L 3-2

Expected Loss Hits Home, Oliverry 3 - Tinsuvilia 0!

No one expected the unranked Sturmkrieger to upset #10 Oliverry, and the Sturmkrieger showed for the second time that they could not upset their critics. Losing 3-0 to the top team of their group, the Sturmkrieger fell to 2-2 in the World Cup qualifying, bringing them back into unadvancing 4th place, just one GD behind CR 'scopes for 3rd.

The shutout by Oliverry highlights the need for Tinsuvilia's keeper to grow up, as the 26 year old was shown a yellow by the referee after throwing a tantrum caused by the second goal. Asked later to comment on his actions, Rovage ignored our reporter. Some believe that Imre Keller may be given the starting spot in an upcoming game. Manager Adler Baldwin has yet to confirm or deny these claims, although it is unlikely in next weeks match against #22 Schiavonia.

From The Tinsuvilia Times

OOC: Damn puppet, please count this toward Milchama thank you.

Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Domestic-International-Star-News-Today

Sports Section

Lisburn subdues Warriors

The Lisburn Mateys played the game of their lives at home to tie the Milchama Warriors 1-1 yesterday. Repeated attempts by the offense to break the game offense was frusterated by an overestatic Dunston Copperlee and a good defence that played very good position football. Coach Jamie Smith said, "We did not play our best today but that is no excuse. We should be beating these guys as this their first World Cup and this is our 5th or so. Although I do need to congratulate the Mateys on their fine performance. In a couple of cups I bet we will be the underdogs against them."
Now onto a one paragraph match report:

The firsthalf was a bore the first 20 minutes or so as an enthusiatic Lisburn crowd kept the Warriors a little scared but they started to get their footing as Elana Kilinin started to attack, unfortunately, Dunston Copperlee seemed a little bit overenthusiastic and made a few mistakes including way to many offsides that stagnated the Milchamian attack. At the same time though this enthusiasm was very productive as he made some great plays including setting up both J.J. Faren and Spot Nielson for goal oppurtunities, one which went high and one which was stopped brilliantly by Brian Livingston. The score at halftime was 0-0 as the Warriors could not break through the stubborn Lisburn defense. Then the second half began and suddenly the Milchamian juggernaught got turned on as Johnny Rintell found Darian Flinters on the left and Flinters found a Lisburn Mateys who rushed upfield and past Casey Stockholm before taking a shot on Clay Finton. Then Finton quickly started the counter attack he hit the ball quickly up to Rintell who found Copperlee on a perfectly timed run that put him against the goalie. The two time MFL leading goalscorer didn't miss and put Milchama up 1-0. The Warriors then tried to continue to put on the pressure but the Mateys defense was up to the challenge as they cleared off some passes intended for both Floren Albentine and Spot Nielson (yes Floren would have done much better) were intercepted by the Mateys defenders. Then the game started to stagnate and turn the Mateys way when Joe Belluci and David Armstrong started to dominate the midfield and the Milchamian third of the field. The attacks looked good but it looked like Milchama would be able to hold out but then David Armstrong found Belluci and his cross beat went over Kendric Pevington's head and right to Amusi Akobyi's foot. His shot from 12 yards out was a cracker and didn't give Finton a chance to even move. Despite desperate attacks from Milchama the Mateys defense would not be moved and the game ended in a draw.

Final Score:
Milchama 1 (Copperlee 52)
Lisburn Mateys 1 (Akobyi 87)

Raging Penguins Report:
If it wasn't for a freak explosion from DMYS the Penguins would probably tied Rejistania. The 1-0 loss though shows something and soon they might even score a goal.

Milchama Man of the Match:
While he might have not been the best player the whole game Dunston Copperlee was the focal point of the offense for the entire game. And he was the goal scorer.

Ariddia holds steady

After playing Spaam in their opening match, Ariddia hosted Spaamanian Plijous today in Darras Olympic Stadium. Thousands filled the stadium, and watched as the Rouge-et-Noirs performed a powerful ulek before taking on their second Spaamanian adversary in three games.

The opening goal went to Frédéric Clément after thirty-one minutes of attack-focused playing, prompting cheers from Ariddian supporters hoping for another vital three points from the encounter. Hanifah Kyaw increased that lead nine minutes later, scoring with her head on a well-aimed corner kick by Ramirez. Two minutes after that, the stadium held its breath as the Spaamanians were awarded a penalty kick. . . which Ariddian keeper Sandrine Leduc skilfully saved.

Nevertheless, the Spaamanians had scored by the fifty-third minute, sparking fears of a comeback. Defender Jean Kitenge laid those fears partially to rest when he scored his first ever international goal. Despite a second goal by the Spaamanians in the second minute, the lead ultimately remained Ariddian.

“It was close, but we pulled it off,” Clément said. “We’re building up a momentum, and we really need to keep it going. If we can do that, we can remain in the top three. And qualify for the first time in seven decades.”

Chuck Norris News
For All Of Your Fighting Norris Coverage

Well all you Fighting Norris fans, what goes up must come down. After a stunning 3-1 upset over 23-ranked Bettia, the Fighting Norris fell at the hands of 37-ranked Cuation by a score of 1-3. Here's our summary:

Mr Chuck Norris 1 (Brian Boitano 71)
Cuation 3 (Timothy Ashton 36)(Steven Milnar 44)(Rual Mendiz 64)

We'd like to begin by clarifying some of the Cuation newscast, who did so well in blatently reporting the match with a clear bias for their hometeam. To begin with, they reference Chuck Norris as a dirty player. Their reasons for saying so are "one [of his] attempted roundhouse kicks resulted in Roy Ferguson needing stitches" and "[he] managed to kick Roy Ferguson in the head as the experienced midfielder tried to block". First and foremost, their reasons they present portray the occurances as accidents. The way they describe the events, it appears as if both players attributed to the collisions. How could they possibly call Chuck Norris a "dirty dirty player" if his two "dirty" actions were accidental and mutual in nature rather than intentional.

We'd also like to note that the portion of the newscast in which they describe the events leading up to the scoring of their third goal. They say "It should never have happened, Scottest Hovest had time to clear or start an attack yet he dawdled into Rual was upon him. Losing control of the ball in his surprise, Hovest was unable to retrieve it as Mendiz burst past him and into the box, clear on goal". To clarify, those who were there clearly saw that Scottest Hovest did in fact not have ample time to start an attack but was rather hounded upon by Cuation's very own Rual Mendiz immeadiately upon receiving the ball. Although it is true that Scottest Hovest could have won the battle and started an attack, he didn't have ample time and most certainly wasn't "dawdling".

Lastly, the newscast says "Brian Boitano scored his first World Cup goal, dancing past Butcher and playing a one-two with OJ Pimpson to get inside. With the defence having opened up, he had room to shoot. Curling the ball towards the top corner, he left Judo helpless and gained applause all around the ground". We'd first like to note that Brian Boitano scored his second goal in World Cup play in this charge, not his first (which was scored in matchday one against Five Civilized Nations). Secondly, it was The Burger King who had in fact assisted Brian Boitano in scoring that goal, not OJ Pimpson (who happens to play on the opposite side of the field from Mr. Boitano.

Now, these comments are in no way meant to offend the Cuation football team, players, or newsteam; they are only being presented to clarify what had actually happened in the match. As Cuation presented a very good summary of the match aside from the points that we have noted, we here at CNN feel it would be redundant to give the play by play of the match.

However, we still have coach of the Fighting Norris Bob Janney to comment on the state of the Fighting Norris:

"Hello everyone! I'd first like to say that you shouldn't harbor any negativity toward Cuation in any way due to our newscasters bias of their own, they're only trying to do their job. The Cuation squad was actually rather friendly and was actually a team I enjoyed battling out on the field. Now... down to business. The loss is no big deal as our Fighting Norris currently sit in fifth place in group seven, being tied with every team up to second place, only losing by three goals on the goal difference. However, I promised not to do any group analysis, so I will hold off a little longer. However, after our bye matchday next week, I have been asked to input some group analysis and I cannot resist. I think that out Fighting Norris are doing rather well at the moment considering their place on the footballing fodd chain and I ask for eveyone's continued support, you've meant so much. Tune in for my bye matchday group analysis coming soon to a television near you."

World Cup 28 Schedule of the Fighting Norris:
Matchday 1: Vs. Five Civilized Nations (Won 4-2)
Matchday 2: Vs. Squornshelous (Loss 0-2)
Matchday 3: At Bettia (Won 3-1)
Matchday 4: At Cuation (Loss 1-3)
Matchday 5: On Bye
Matchday 6: Vs. Slakaj
Matchday 7: Vs. Burning Penguins
Matchday 8: At Five Civilized Nations
Matchday 9: At Squornshelous
Matchday 10: Vs. Bettia
Matchday 11: Vs. Cuation
Matchday 12: On Bye
Matchday 13: At Slajak
Matchday 14: At Burning Penguins

Fighting Norris World Cup 28 Record: (2-0-2)

Konigseifert Chronicle

Even at Home, Golden Eagles Can't Beat Aces
Powerhouse Krytenia wins 2-0; Geisenfried faces slumping Turori next.

As the World Cup finally returned to Geisenfried at Haimuller Coastal Colosseum, the crowd was ecstatic. Geisenfried had won its first two matches, including an upset over the powerful Lowland Clans. Though they had lost to Tynelia, some thought that maybe, just maybe, the Golden Eagles could pull off an amazing upset of the powerful Krytenia Aces. It would not be so. A couple of quick strikes by the Krytenian forward Josh Quinnell and a strong defensive effort cut Geisenfried's hopes short.

The Aces got off to a pace that the Golden Eagles just couldn't keep up, with Quinnell hammering a pass from Krytenian midfielder Jean-Christophe Wood-Collins out of the reach of Kurt Ackermann and into the goal in the 12th minute to give the Krytenia Aces a 1-0 lead early. As the game reached the half-hour mark, Quinnell headed a cross from Ace midfielder Tejai into the net to score an insurance goal. After that, the Krytenian defense, along with keeper Yannick Nourisse acted as a steel wall against Geisenfried's attack, and Nourisse scored another clean sheet. The loss brings the Golden Eagles into fourth, however, they trail the division leaders by just one point, so a win and a Krytenian-Tynelian draw along with a Lowland Clans draw or loss could put the Golden Eagles back in the lead of the division once more.

Krytenia: 2
Geisenfried: 0
Quinnell- 12' (KRY)
Quinnell- 30' (KRY)

As previously mentioned, Geisenfried's next game will also be at home, against the slumping Turori team, at Konigseifert Athletic Arena in the capital city. The Golden Eagles hope to stop their losing streak by beating Turori, who has been playing disappointing football as of late, though they just picked up a win on the current division punching bag Talmeria.



GROUP 15 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Krytenia 3 2 1 0 5 1 4 7
Tynelia 3 2 1 0 3 0 3 7
Lowland Clans 3 2 0 1 6 5 1 6
Geisenfried 4 2 0 2 2 4 -2 6
Turori 3 1 1 1 3 3 0 4
Algal States 4 0 2 2 2 4 -2 2
Talmeria 4 0 1 3 1 5 -4 1



Schedule
Geisenfried 1-0 Talmeria
Geisenfried 1-0 The Lowland Clans
Geisenfried 0-2 Tynelia
Krytenia 2-0 Geisenfried
Turori at Geisenfried
Geisenfried at Algal States
Bye
Talmeria at Geisenfried
The Lowland Clans at Geisenfried
Tynelia at Geisenfried
Geisenfried at Krytenia
Geisenfried at Turori
Algal States at Geisenfried

MD 5 scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=10881632#post10881632) are now available.


[Raging Penguins' post immediately below has been counted towards the MD 5 RP bonus]

The Gloingglopp Swamp Gazzette


The Team Prepares to Play Spaam

After the remaining bits of DMYS were spooned up by custodians and military personnel, The Penguin explained to The Team their new strategy.
"I don't want to see a single one of them cheap-meat players come off the field without a black eye, alright? I don't care what they say about 'no hitting' rules and the like, but we've trained for The Lancre Cup - which is to say, we've trained to go up against teams like Dregruk, and Determined Cows - and that means somebody's gonna get hurt. DMYS already got himself blown up, which mean we're at a good start, and now we can get around to blowing other people up." Said The Penguin during his pep-talk, "I know that Devious has been mail-ordering illegal and inhumane weapons ever since the beginning of this World Cup, and I wouldn't be surprised if he managed to slip a couple of them past security...heh...heh."

This pep-talk is different form those heard in earlier matches, which stressed the fact that players had no chance of smuggling flamethrowers past Ariddian security checkpoints, or managing to stuff grenades in ones socks at the game against Elrich. During the match against The Emperialist, Mostly Mouths had been The Teams armory, supplying them with long, wooden poles, which they used to poke and prod the other team. However, from what it sounds like, The Penguin is advocating the use of tactical nukes on the Pitch. Frankly, we're not surprised - we thought this would happen from the very start!

Even though The Team hasn't scored a single goal the entire time they've played, they seemed to have a renewed energy and eagerness as they hit the pitch for practice, although they showed a curious lack of weaponry the entire time. That's suspicious, and we've decided to head for the bomb shelters.

(Edit: Ah rats, I was writing this when the cutoff came...Bummer...)

MONASTIC TIMES

MONASTIC FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION REJECTS ACCUSATIONS FROM SFF
Fr. Yuri the Fool-For-Christ Defended

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

The Monastic Football Association today rejected claims of biased refereeing levelled by the Schiavone Football Federation following Schiavonia's 4-2 home loss to Vejar in Match Day 4.

"We had frankly forgotten that Schiavonia had sent in a rival bid for the tournament" said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity. "This sort of baseless accusation by sore losers does nothing to help the spirit of fair play that we had hoped would be a feature of the tournament."

MFA officials were, however, forced to defend their choice of Fr. Yuri the Fool-For-Christ as the match official. "Fr. Yuri is a simple, man, true, but his holy spirit is well known across the Archregimancy" said yet another senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity. "Awarding eight penalties to Vejar simply reflects his desire to place the precepts of Our Saviour into daily practice... the first shall be last, the last shall be first, and the meek shall inherit the earth". But other MFA officials are said to be 'concerned' by Fr. Yuri's performance, and it is believed that in order to avoid further controversy, he has been returned to his preferred activity of making friends with daisies and other pretty, pretty flowers for the duration of the tournament.

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg

Sea Dragons Regain Some Form

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from somewhere called Philthealbino??? No clue.

The Sea Dragons have really put their selves in a big hole thus far in qualifying. But a trip to the middle of nowhere today was just what the doctor ordered for the squad. And here in Philthealbino we found as close to the middle of nowhere as you can actually get.

The Sea Dragons came out angry and with a massive chip on their shoulder, Philthealbino (just love typing that name ;) ) never stood a chance. ASMV’s Pablo Iglesias got his head on a goal kick in the 15th minute and scored. Then Evan Evans found him in the 23rd minute and Iglesias put another in the net. Philthealbino had no answer due to pressure from the defense. Micah Swift’s reputation had preceded him, and the Phil…. Attacker assigned to that side would not get within 10 yards of the “knee breaker” So much for brave fronts on the home pitch for him. Coward.

The second half saw the reserves get some much needed work. Genesis Galluccio played well at center back, looking very much like a replacement for aging Unami Banta-N’bai. Anika Milosavic also looked ready to play a larger role in the important wing/defender slot in the 3-2-1-2-2 formation used by the squad.
The big surprise was Leena Draghi who put 4 shots on goal and scored in the 78th minute. Keeper Jenna Jaffray looked solid as well while preserving the clean sheet.

When the dust settled it was the Sea Dragons leaving with a 3-0 victory over the home squad. That win moves ASMV back into 4th place in the table for Group 7, Just 3 points behind Bequerelia for 2nd. Rorysville holds down 3rd by a point and with an extra match done.

And next up is a trip to Bequerelia. A victory by the Sea Dragons would move them even in points for 2nd before a trip to Group leaders and #1 seed Jeruselem. We desperately need the 3 from Bequerelia to keep us close heading into the second half of qualification.

Friend Watch:
Hypocria looked a monster by decimating Virginia Nova 6-2
Dorian and Sonya found a needed bye date
Cuation burned Burning Penguins 2-0
Ariddia dominated 4-1 over The Imperialists
Milchama lost to bottom-feeder Khenas 2-3
Tadjikistan found a 2-0 win over the Very Sorry Kittens

Unicorns Refuse To Lose
Bye Dates Are Glorious Things

Queen Sonya sat at home before the Banquet and Ball that was scheduled for the evening. Nothing except practice for the Mystical Unicorns today. The next match would see a visit from a surprising Homieville squad who are currently sitting mid-pack in Group 2. If the Unicorns wanted back in the hunt, this was going to be a must win match for the squad.

Elsewhere in Group 2, Vilita remembered how to win by crushing Homieville 4-0. Perhaps we can make that impact as well. Kaze Progressa beat Rosberg 1-0, and the surprising Group 2 leaders from D2R downed world #2 Liverpool England 2-1. The real story of the group will be how long they can keep their current form before reverting back to the #64 ranking they had coming in.

Now for everyone’s (except maybe the two hosts) favorite section

Upset Watch:
Group 1 : Anemathics Republics draw 1-1 with #1 Ranked Bedistan
Group 2 : See section on D2R in above article
Group 3 : Gaspland prayed for a miracle and got a draw with Praying2God. Prayer does work.
Group 4 : Five Civilized Nations actually managed a draw with Squornshelous.
Group 5 : Remote Islands stole a point from Islands of Qutar
Group 6 : Unranked Iksonic earned a draw with the Kazoos
Group 7 : NONE
Group 8 : Unranked Raging Penguins earned a draw with Spaam
Group 9 : #179 Vejar continued its miracle run at the expense of McPsychoville
Group10: NONE
Group11: Khenas defeated Milchama 3-2. And two draws I won’t count, just 1 per group today.
Group12: NONE
Group13: Pastorville got hammered 3-0 by lowly Radke. Maybe thy need more prayer. Just ask Gaspland.
Group14: Molvania downed Nanakland, and The Macabees downed Casari. Ok 2 from this group had to be mentioned
Group15: Talmaria surprised TLC and got a point.

Now remember. Draws are only minor upsets.

Tigers win convincingly

Backstaffen Arena - Is this the end of the curse? And has it all to do with new players Gyurza and Elisarov, added to the selection recently? Good questions and both were answerred by Georgi Shpagin, who is always around to critisize. For this one time, he give us a positive evaluation :'Gyurza was the dominant defender that the national team missed, as you can see, No Kitten was able to get past Suchomlinov. We thank Gyurza and to a lesser extent, his defending collegues, for that. And against this 'not so weak' opponent, Elisarov played a crucial role as midfielder; attacking, defending, organizing! He did it all, just like Pliiev would have done. Elisarov is still a young player, he has many years ahead of him to gain experience and become the new Pliiev.'

For the first time in these qualifications, the Tigers kept their nets clean while Saidomir Saradov and Zhenya Zyrianov each got a shot past Ronnie "Wets the bed" Weeter, the undoubtebly interesting Kitten goalkeeper. Kitten attackers, more offensive than the Tadjiks, were not as fortunate, Gronko found a hardworking Gyurza on his way when he had an excellent scoring opportunity while Monroe made the mistake to try and pull off one of his tricks against Kuthakov, the oldest Tadjik defender.

I'm satisfied with my teams performance here, the whole team is to be congratulated' Zaev said after the match, indicating that the old selection could have done this without the new players 'Gyruza and Elisarov are fine players, they definitly contributed to this victory, especially Gyurza, but to say that it would have been impossible without them, is a mistake. Doesnt mean they have to go back home, I can use a couple of strong young talents to increase our chances of qualification, I can use them against Pastorville and Spruitland.

With his new players, Zaev can prepare for the match against Pastorville, the 'uberdefensive' team of group 13. They have only one forward, but a whole army of defenders. For the Tadjik strikers an interesting challenge, this is a team they've already beaten before on World Cup 27, did the Saints learn from that experience? Shpagins answer: 'If Radke can beat them 3-0, then so can we!'


GROUP 13 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Spruitland 4 3 1 0 7 1 6 10
Tadjikistan 4 2 2 0 7 3 4 8
Radke 5 2 1 2 6 6 0 7
N. Caesarea 5 0 5 0 3 3 0 5
Apo. Kittens 4 1 1 2 1 3 -2 4
Pastorville 4 1 1 2 3 7 -4 4
Atheistic Right 4 0 1 3 1 5 -4 1


MD1: Bye
MD2: Atheistic Right - Tadjikistan D 1-1
MD3: Tadjikistan - Radke W 4-2
MD4: N. Ceasarea - Tadjikistan D 1-1
MD5: Apo. Kittens - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD6: Tadjikistan - Pastorville
MD7: Tadjikistan - Spruitland
MD8: Bye
MD9: Tadjikistan - Atheistic Right
MD10: Radke - Tadjikistan
MD11: Tadjikistan - N. Ceasarea
MD12: Tadjikistan - Apo. Kittens
MD13: Pastorville - Tadjikistan
MD14: Spruitland - Tadjikistan

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/boudra-boudra.jpg

Bye Boosts Spirit

With the Boudra-Boudra national team having a bye on MD5, the team were given the day off to get their heads clear just before two of the most important matches in the group. Boudra-Boudra will need 6 out of 6 in their next two matches if they want to stay competitive in this group as they are now in penultimate position. The good news however is that the teams in group 7 are quite evenly matched so far, with Jeruselem being slightly stronger than the rest. Looking at the schedule, the top four ranked teams are now playing eachother in the next two matchdays with first on MD6: Jeruselem - Kericia and Becquerelia - Andossa Se Mitrin Vega and then on MD7: Jeruselem - Andossa Se Mitrin Vega and Kericia - Becquerelia. This means that Boudra-Boudra really needs to take advantage of this situation as a six out of six would mean they would surely move into or get close to the top two. The first match should not, nay may not prove a problem as Boudra-Boudra is playing at home to unranked Philthealbino, who have yet to score their first goal and point in this tournament. On the other hand, Boudra-Boudra has never ever won a single game when playing at home, in fact, they have only lost at home so far. The second game will be against Rorysville, who have been performing very strongly so far. Although being ranked 31 places lower than Boudra-Boudra, they have scored one point more already. However, their recent run of strong results was halted as they lost 2-1 to an improving Kericia side and knowing they still have their bye to come, Boudra-Boudra should take advantage of their sinking morale and keep home the three points also in that game.

MD5 Results in Group 7
Becquerelia 1-2 Jeruselem
Philthealbino 0-3 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Kericia 2-1 Rorysville

The WCQ Schedule for Boudra-Boudra:
Matchday 1: Boudra-Boudra - Becquerelia lost 0-1
Matchday 2: Boudra-Boudra - Jeruselem lost 0-2
Matchday 3: Andossa Se Mitrin Vega - Boudra-Boudra won 1-2
Matchday 4: Kericia - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 5: Bye
Matchday 6: Boudra-Boudra - Philthealbino
Matchday 7: Boudra-Boudra - Rorysville
Matchday 8: Becquerelia - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 9: Jeruselem - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 10: Boudra-Boudra - Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Matchday 11: Boudra-Boudra - Kericia
Matchday 12: Bye
Matchday 13: Philthealbino - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 14: Rorysville - Boudra-Boudra

Ariddia tops Group 8

The Ariddians played at home again today as they welcomed The Emperialist to Wavecrest City Stadium – which still bears a commemorative plaque to the people of Alasdair I Frosticus who died of a plague after their football team played there.

On paper, the Emperialist was no team to be scoffed at, having achieved a win and a draw so far, and Adam Seul again lined up some of Ariddia’s best players. Only in the second half of the match did he pull out Leduc and Smith, to allow the less experienced Hue and Smith to take their place.

The game started fast, with Ramirez opening the score in the tenth minute, weaving through the Emperialist defences and making the best of a skilful pass from Ta I. The first real threat for the Ariddians came in the sixteenth minute, when an Emperialist player [sorry for the lack of name, but there’s no roster] managed a powerful shot at an awkward angle, forcing Leduc to deploy all her skill to save it. The Rouge-et-Noirs retaliated via Kyaw scoring in the nineteenth, following a free kick by team captain Ue Alt.

The thirty-third minute saw Clément barge through the Emperialist defences to score a comfortable third goal for Ariddia, seemingly deciding the matter once and for all. And there the scoreline remained for a while, as the Ariddians appeared to slow their pace in the closing minutes of the first half. Elsewhere in group 8, Elrich was leading Rejistania 1-0 at half-time, in a match many Ariddians were also watching closely. A tie between the two teams could put Ariddia in the overall lead, assuming the Emperialists did not make a spectacular comeback over the next forty-five minutes.

The sixty-ninth minute, however, came as a wake-up call for Ariddia, as the Emperialists, making the most of a corner kick and a miscommunication between Hue and Song, finally scored a goal. As though determined to re-establish a three-goal lead, Ismail Faraj firmly set the score line straight in the seventy-sixth, sending the ball into the Emperialist goal cage for the fourth time in the match.

At the close of the game, the news came in that Rejistania had equalised against Elrich, propelling Ariddia into a narrow lead over Group 8. While Rejistania and Ariddia both had ten points, the latter had a goal difference of seven in its favour, to Rejistania’s six.

While few in Ariddia dare get their hopes up this soon, many are celebrating their team’s achievement while it lasts.

* Weird theme music *

Rachel "Good morning. This is Rachel Goldstein reporting from the World Cup 28 for JGN. I'm just in the crowd with some rowdy Jeruselem fans. Jeruselem have just won their match day 5 game. We played the undefeated Becquerelia and beat them 2-1. Admittedly not the best game in world cup for Jeruselem, but the team gelled and just worked this time. More teams really settle at the end, and faster-starters often burn out."

* Flags wave and people dance *

Rachel "Yes, our team played a good game today. A good team in a winning mood taking us on and Jeruselem like any good team did, won. We had a slow start but two goals in 2nd half as well as midfield dominance sealed the results. Jeruselem now top Group 7, and Becquerelia slip to 2nd. Nothing wrong with Becquerelia's performance at all."

* Bunny ear impersonation *

Rachel "Yeah, thanks guys. The other games. The sea dragons woke up and tored into Phil the Albino. Three nil win and we are sure they can play better that they have so far. They are now 4th and 4 points from top. Kericia finally woke up too, after a really slow start. 3rd placed Rorysville lost to Kericia two one in a game which tested both team's form. Rorysville are still 3rd but Kericia's 2nd win shows, no one can be ruled out here. Boudra times two had a bye."

* Confetti *

Rachel "Hockey Canada beat Hariki two one. Another win by our friends the Canucks and they top their group as they should like Jeruselem. No losses either, and 3 wins just like us. They just look balanced, the Canucks. While not scoring heavily, the defense is as good as ever."

* More cheering *

Rachel "Go LIONS. Oh yes, Nedalia won again. Only that insane team can stop them now. The Lions won two one against Canabinol. UNDEFEATED LIONS. We want them to take on that insane team and find out who is the form team. So, Lions fans, this might be just your World Cup."

* Drunks file by *

Rachel "This is Rachel Goldstein for JGN who is a little late for a date with her hero. See you all tomorrow"

* Disappears *

Qazox City Herald

The Black Oxen and home matches are like oil and milk a lousy combination. Top-seeded Audioslavia came into Estadia Pika yesterday and left it 2-1 winners over the Black Oxen.

In the 1st half, the superior team from Audioslavia showed why they are as they jumped out to an early 1-0 lead as the Slavs scored only 7 minutes into the match. The Black Oxen fought back with a goal as Marie Goya scored her first goal of qualifing at the 34th minute, but the Slavs answered back just before halftime to take the 2-1 lead.

In the second half, both squads ran themselves ragged trying to keep up the the attacking natures of both teams. However, when all was said and done, Qazox couldn't keep up with Audioslavia and the match ended in the same 2-1 score. Up next for Qazox is The Islands of Qutar, a team just behind the Black Oxen in the standings. in othe action in group 5, The Islands of Qutar tied The Remote Islands 1-all and Legalese beat Zorinia 1-0.

Group 5 Standings after MD5:
GROUP 5 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Audioslavia 4 4 0 0 10 3 7 12
Legalese 4 3 1 0 4 1 3 10
Qazox 4 2 0 2 5 4 1 6
Isls of Qutar 4 1 2 1 4 3 1 5
Remote Islands 5 1 1 3 5 8 -3 4
Zorinia 5 1 0 4 5 10 -5 3
Anastasiania 4 0 2 2 3 7 -4 2

Dear diary,

I can't believe this is happening! After all that hard work, nothing's going right on the pitch! OK, fine, I can always blame it on the injuries, but even I find it a bad excuse. I mean our attack is like totally lacking bite...the only way we're going to survive like that is if we get clean sheets, WHICH WE ARE NOT GETTING! Man, do I really have to take drastic measures? So soon? I'll think about it later...

D

“Welcome everyone to Tynelian Soccer Weekly’s continuing World Cup 28 coverage. To no one’s real surprise the Tynelian undefeated run in group play came to a close as they faced the top seeded Krytenia club. The number 1 seed showed that Tynelia is not quite ready to play with the big boys with a 2-0 win on our home field. This wins puts Krytenia alone in first with Tynelia in a three way tie for second with the recovered Turori and Lowland Clans clubs who had started off slowly but are not back in the running again. As always this is Sal Spikeman along with Anna Dalespin. So Anna how much do today’s results hurt Tynelia chances?”

“Well Sal, once again for the second straight day the top seeds have begun to get back into their expected forms. Turori won its second in a row over a fading Geisenfried team that has now lost its third in a row. The only real surprise was that the Lowland Clans could only manage a scoreless draw against Talmeria. However this now puts Tynelia in a three way tie with Turori and the Clans, another sign of how Tynelia’s match two draw with Talmeria hurts. Tynelia has only 1 loss through four matches and now technically wouldn’t qualify if things ended today. It just means that now they must find a way to get some points against Turori which has apparently recovered from a winless first two matches. They can’t afford to drop three points out of second with another tough match against the up and down Lowland Clans coming up next and on the road.”

“That’s right Anna, another loss especially if the Clans can beat Krytenia. However with games against the Clans and then Turori, Krytenia could actually become Tynelia’s best friends if they can win both those matches and keep Tynelia close to the second spot. But since you can never count on that Tynelia needs to show people it can beat a top 50 team still. Turori is their next chance. But now let’s head to Dana Lee on the field for a quick word with Coach Greg O’Meara.”

<camera cuts to the field>

“Thanks Sal, with me is Coach Greg O’Meara. Coach, today you suffered your first loss in this Cup against the top seed. How do you rate your team’s play and will this start a slide down the standings?”

“No Miss Lee, Krytenia is a bloody fine club and they just showed they are the top seed for a good reason. We played well and Miss Whiteworth held them to two goals but we just could not get anything past that Nourisse fellow today. We actually had the most shots we have had to date but could not score. Turori is next so we shall just have to do better against them before we go on the road for our next three matches. As for the standings, many have said we will lose these next three and I am certain many of those people are sitting there nodding that they told us so. I say we have a couple of teams playing inconsistently right now and we had best take advantage of it before they get into a rhythm. Perhaps those Krytenians will help us a bit and beat the Clans next match, but we shall all find out soon enough.”

“Ok Coach, thanks for your time, back to you Sal and Anna.”

<camera returns to the studio>

“Ok then, a relatively realistic look of things wouldn’t you say Anna?”

“Indeed Sal, I think he may be underestimating the inconsistency of the Lowland Clans and Turori but neither of those teams are doing as well as expected so far. Especially considering neither has player Krytenia yet.”

“Good point Anna, now to today’s game. The first goal came off the foot of Jerome Jaffacakes-Phillips at the 39 minute mark on a breakaway after a booming keeper kick by Yannick Nourisse which surprised the defense which was out of position and unable to recover. The second half remained close until Gabriel Kennedy entered the game late and headed in a corner kick past Whiteworth at the 79 minute mark. At this point the number one seed just ran out the clock as Tynelia suffered its second shutout and first loss of the Cup. There were a lot more shots in this match, Krytenia fired 20 shots on net to 15 from Tynelia which is still the most for us this tournament. Quality chances favored Krytenia by a 6-3 edge and they controlled the clock by a little more than seven minutes. Now let’s hear from former Coach Marcus O’Meara in the Coach’s Corner for his thoughts on the match.”

“Thanks Sal, well this loss isn’t anything to really be upset about, I think even the players didn’t expect anything more than a draw at best. The team looks to be getting closer holding the top seed to only two goals but their own offense hasn’t been able to break through against the top teams very successfully so far. They’ll have another try against a suddenly charging Turori club. One thing that might work in their favor is that Turori may be looking ahead to their match with Krytenia and could be looking past our team. With the home field edge, if they take us lightly we could surprise them I think and get at least a draw. Offensively Turori is only now starting to get in gear so there’s still a chance a strong defense could derail their attack still. One big factor will be to see how Coach tudor gets the team fired up again after suffering their first loss. I don’t think the team will be too disappointed considering the only loss to date is against the best team in the group. If they lose again however, they might start getting desperate when they play the Lowland Clans and that could be a mistake.”

“Ok Coach, thanks for your insights. Do you agree Anna?”

“Yes I do Sal, this loss shouldn’t really hurt their psyche any other than disappointment at falling short. A loss to Turori and then the fact that they can’t beat a top 50 team might get into their heads and they might try overdoing things against the Clans. However the Clans are very up and down look at their scoring 0-3-3-0 its all or nothing for them. A sign of vulnerability or just a team not quite in synch yet? We’’ find out in a couple of matches.”

“OK then Anna its prediction time, you were a bit off last time so let’s hear what you think for the next matches.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence there Sal. At any rate, based on their early play I think Turori is Tynelia’s best chance at the moment of stealing any points from a higher seed. Turori is fairly low scoring like Tynelia though a bit better but not quite as good on defense. I think this will end up in a 1-1 draw as the home field crowd will really be behind the home team to avoid a second loss in a row. In the marquee matchup Krytenia will go up against the up and down Lowland Clans where the top two offenses go head to head. This will most likely be a high scoring affair and I feel Krytenia will come out on top of a 4-2 score. In the other match Geisenfried will go up against the Algal States. Both teams are similar on offense but the Algals are a bit better defensively. I’m going to go with the upset here as the Algals have yet to show they can win in the group and take Geisenfried in a 2-1 game.”

“If that’s the case Anna, Geisenfried would end up back ahead of Tynelia again in the standings which would be a real shocker for the 7th seed if they can pull it off. Well, according to my watch it looks like its time to head over to Harmonie Masterson for ‘Harmonie’s Hearsay’ hello Harmonie.”

<sniffs> “Hi Sal! Hi Anna! Isn’t it horrible that poor Jaykins didn’t score today and we lost to the Krispey people? But I have a big update on our last story, here’s some secret footage of Clark Kent, the cousin of Donna Kent as we try to prove that he does have upper powers!”

<first footage shows Clark and Donna at a hotdog stand where Clark orders three chili dogs and eats all three within a minute>

“See look at the super eating speed Clark has! He must have some sort of super powers! And there’s even more, watch his super speed in action.”

<second footage plays where Clark and Donna are talking when suddenly Clark jumps to his feet and runs to the men’s room>

“No one could move that fast if they were a normal person. He must have some super speed powers. Maybe we should try to get him on the team, he’d be really good I bet! OK Sal back to you!”

“Thanks Harmonie, as always you come up with the most um.. interesting stories. Well that’s all the time we have today. Tomorrows match with Turori will be covered in its entirety followed by our post game show. And for fans of the hit show 60 where Jeff Bowzer must find a way to break into an airtight safe in only 60 minutes before the air supply of the people trapped inside runs out, it will be shown in its entirety immediately after our program. Until next show this is Sal Spikeman for Anna Dalespin wishing everyone a good night.”

MATCH DAY 2
GROUP 3

Harlsburg at 2 havy loss 3-0 to Praying2God an 3-0 at ho to little known Gaspland, Harlesburg look on the bye o the 3 round as a go sn.
Things cetainly havnt gone thei way to at an th by is th pct opputunity o th to st th co staight.
Th 3-0 hoe loss to Gaspland hurt the team who were looking foward to a positive display which would have propelled them up at last two placs and given them a good spring board before the match against Starblaydia in a few gas time, although it is early days.
However the little known Gaspland certainly spoil the party and now sit second behind Dauna Hills on 4 points from 1 win an 1 daw.

Harlesburg also have found themselves in hot water over foul play and have dopped Federine Moskinel who had a shocking match last time out, Gabriel Hassul will be set to take his place over the next few games at least.

Praying2God 3 Harlesburg 0
Georgeonia 1 Vuam and Isma 2
Dauna Hills 2 Gaspland 2
Starblaydia BYE


GROUP 3 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Dauna Hills 2 1 1 1 6 2 4 4
Gaspland 3 2 1 1 0 5 3 2 4
Praying2God 1 1 0 0 3 0 3 3
Starblaydia 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
Vuam and Isma 2 1 0 1 2 5 -3 3
Georgeonia 2 0 0 2 1 4 -3 0
Harlesburg 2 0 0 2 1 6 -5 0

MD 1: Praying2God 3 v Harlesburg 0
MD 2: Harlesburg 0 v Gaspland 3
MD 3: HarlesburgBYE
MD 4: Harlesburg v Georgeonia 2
MD 5: Harlesburg1 v Dauna Hills 1
MD 6: Starblaydia v Harlesburg
MD 7: Harlesburg v Vuam and Isma

RORDIA - DESTINATION NMS
Part 5: Things Get Even Worse

Rordia's World Cup dream is in jeopardy after a 1-1 home draw to Narbithia. The Rordians are now 5th in qualifying Group 1 with five points from four games. Not impressive.
A 1-1 draw against the low-ranked outsiders was bad, but it could have been a whole lot worse. Narbithia scored in the 73rd minute to go 1-0 up, and they only missed out on a win because Tim Brick scored an injury-time penalty. Then, at the final whistle, the furious home fans threw their SEATS at their players. Samuel Craig and Freddie Monaghan were both knocked out and suffered serious head injuries. One of the seats also hit Michael Davidson, who was watching the game from the stands after he was ruled out through injury. Davidson was KO'd, but he has made a full recovery.
Manager Neil van der Wal said: "Rordia's fans are thugs." Then he stormed off in a huff.
Things are looking dire for Rordia. Played 4, Won 1, Drawn 2, Lost 1, Goal Difference 0, Points 5. And if things couldn't get worse, we've got Bedistan away in our next game. National newspapers are already printing headlines like "TONIGHT, WE WILL LOSE 5-0" and "WE SURRENDER! BEDISTAN RULE!".

OTHER RESULTS:
Anathematic Republics 1 Bedistan 1
Virginia Nova 2 Hypocria 6

RORDIAN FA DECIDE BONACHEV FATE
The Rordian FA will decide tomorrow whether Aleks Bonachev is eligible to play for the Rordia national team. The defender, who hails from an unheard-of country, hasn't spent enough time in the country to get citizenship. But Bonachev is determined to get a place in the Rordian team.
He said: "I want to play for Rordia. I need to play for them. The FA must let me play. If they not let me, I tell them to eff off."
A Rordian football expert, who goes by the name of Mr X, said: "It is highly unlikely that Aleks Bonachev will be allowed to play for the Rordian national team. The rules state that foreign players cannot play for Rordia unless they were either born here, have parents or grandparents who were born here, or they have lived here for more than five years. Bonachev has no Rordian blood, and he hasn't spent a long time here. I believe he won't get his wish."
That's for the Rordian FA to decide. We'll give you the news as soon as we get it.

Canucks top-ranked seed in Group 6

#7 Hockey Canada
#28 The Kazoo Peoples
#47 Yafor 2
#68 Haraki
#124 Nouvelle Angleterre
#157 Alasdair I Frosticus
(unranked) Iksonic

The Canucks have been cruising through the qualification round without a care. Facing weak after weak teams in the process and giving up the one scary draw against Nouvelle Angleterre. But Hockey Canada will not let a little early-round jitters get the better of them, in fact, they'll use it as fuel to their fire for what Canuck fans are hoping as a semi-final finish. The goal is the semi-finals, but with the 7th seed against must of the higher seeds, things are looking pretty rough after qualification.

The teams are being projected as:

Kazoo Peoples -28-FIFA team: Poland Probably one of the few teams to give Hockey Canada any trouble, they shouldn't be too hard for the Canucks. Yafor 2 and Haraki will give them a good run but we can expect the Kazoos to advance alongside the Canucks. Actually below the Canucks, because alongside would make it look like Hockey Canada played like shite.

Yafor 2 -47-FIFA team: Israel Along with Haraki, they should be a good challenge for Kazoo Peoples for that second and crucial qualification spot. Yaforites will need to hold their kleenex tight against Hockey Canada in this year's qualification. Thomas, Perrault and Kulkarni are all in their prime while Ko and Kansu are striking the fear of god into opponentes.

Haraki -68-FIFA team: Peru Probable to be the dark horse of the group, Haraki has been throwing up a good campaign this World Cup. Not expected to lock up a spot in the World Cup but a decent threat to any teams planning to go there. No doubt they could be a frustrating spoiler in games to come. Not like we're worried or anything.

Nouvelle Angleterre -124-FIFA team: Liechtenstein Death to these guys! A draw in Hockey Canada's first game threw Hockey Canada's hopes of racking up points recklessly down the drain. The strategy to victimize opponents will be heavy when the Canucks play against "Nouvelle Angleterre" or whatever their name is. Expect hell too freeze over if another draw happens against this team... or worse.

Alasdair I Frosticus -157-FIFA team: Surinam Bah! No one cares or needs to care about a team that was once in possession of an ounce of respect. At least things are looking grim for Alasdair I Frosticus early on in the qualifying campaign.

Iksonic -UNR-FIFA team: No rank, no respect. Get it? If they even think of getting one point against us we'll send a blast of freezing weather there somehow. We don't know how, we're idea people.

In other groups, Jeruselem should have absolutely no trouble taking their group by a commanding margin of victory. Nedalia has been slipping as of the past few years but are looking for a strong finish in this year's World Cup.

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
Mateys do it again!!

The Mateys again draw 1-1 away to ranked 38 Giant Zucchini.
In a similar scoreline to a similar team, the Mateys might have actually thought that they should have won having been the better team for alot of the game.

The Mateys fans did turn up very enthusiastic after holding out for a 1-1 draw against Milchama in matchday 4, and had even created a new song to go with their attitude,," From Lisburn to Crumlin, and every Bus that I've been in, My heart is pumping for love, pumpin for love....."

When the match kicked off the Mateys looked very slick with some new faces in the starting line up in 20 year old James Curry, who was playing for Dominic Patton who picked up a slight ankle problem in the last game. Also some experience was brought into a very young midfield with Richard Higgenbottom earning his second cap at the expense of Stephan Mcniece who was constantly exposed in the last game.
Curry seemed to link up well with Lisburn Distillery compatriots Bellucci and Mc Cann who both seemed to know exactly where he was with each cross made, infact this was how the Mateys scored their goal, Bellucci making a surging run down the right after a fine ball from Livingston. Bellucci then hit in a low ball towards Curry in the center who selling the defender and goal keeper dumbied it leaving Mc Cann with a simple tap in at the back post, all that could be heard in the stadium was the Chants of the 4000 Mateys fans.


Before the half was over Amusi Akobyi came close who after rounding the goalkeeper was excallantly dispossed by Ramón Gimeno. Keith Livingston also hit the post from a free kick after Amusi was stretchered off in another tackle from Ramón Gimeno who was keeping tabs on the Mateys danger man.

The half time team talk must have been good with the team sensing an upset actually started to play some football, all though time and time again they seemed to lack a 'killer ball', as the Mateys midfield didnt allow the Zucchini's much room especially when Mc Cann was taken off for defensive midfilder David Irwin.

The Zucchini's goal came from a mistake from the unluky Irwin who when going for an interception slipped missing the ball which went to sub Vicente de Silva who had dropped deep. Being away from his marker he had plenty of time to place the ball as far away from Brian Livinsgton as possible, 1-1

Final Score
Giant Zucchini 1 - 1 Lisburn Mateys
Aaron McCann - 21
Vicente de Silva - 68

Everyone throughout the commonwealth of Lisburn Mateys is praying that Amusi Akobyi's injury isnt too bad, as his impressive record of 9 goals in 8 games has helped out the Mateys tremendously

Islanders beat plucky New Lexington

Cataduanes never wavered in this match, and where 3-0 up by half time with a hatrick by Carlos Guarin in the last ten minutes of the first half, The Visitors simply failed to maintain possesion and with a 2 man midfield they were punished by the wingers who were given the space to run at the backline, Guillermo Bata on the left in particular excelled having come in for this match with Armando Ribera rested, Bata provided two of the assists with the third coming courtesy of Marco Ruedas.

The second half saw the Islanders maintaining their offensive play and the visitors defending desperately. The New Lexington goalie, Michael Lee, pulled off some stunning saves in marked contrast to his lacklustre performance in the first half, he certainly showed why he is his nations number one between the sticks. The boys from New Lexington held on however and in the last ten minutes gained a late burst of confidence as they began to play on the counter attack, taking advantage of a Cataduanes side worn out by playing 80 minutes of offensive football and in the 88th minute the visitors got a consolation goal with a nice move initiated by a long ball from Eric Adleston who had spotted Trevor Griggs making a nice run on the left, the pace and precision of Adleston ball had left the Islanders tired backline for dead allowing Griggs through on goal who did not fail to find the net and for the last 3 minutes of the match the Islanders were forced on the defnesive as the visitors, bouyed by the goal, mounted the offensive but the home side played sensibly and held on till the final whistle

In MD 6 the real test awaits Cataduanes as they travel away to face FMJ Phoenix. FMJ, the group favourites, are level with Cataduanes on points with the islanders still topping Group 12 on GD, the next match could well determine who heads up the group for the remainder of the qualifiers. FMJ faced Bazalonia away on matchday 5 and came away with a hard fought 1-0 victory.

Elsewhere in Group 12 Wentland finally seem to have woken up spanking St Happenin 5-0 away, no doubt they will be pleased with the performance and no doubt hope that its not too late to make up the 5 points that divide them from the top 2.




GROUP 12 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Cataduanes 4 4 0 0 14 3 11 12
Fmjpheonix 4 4 0 0 9 1 8 12
Wentland 4 2 1 1 10 5 5 7
New-Lexington 5 1 2 2 6 7 -1 5
Bazalonia 4 1 1 2 5 7 -2 4
St. Happenin 5 0 2 3 3 15 -12 2
Magnus Valerius 4 0 0 4 4 13 -9 0

The Daily Rabbler
Home to the Kodiaks

Screw It
Not About The Game, But About The Principle

No, we are most certainly not talking about the Kodiak's blistering 4-1 assault on lowly Blitzwehr today. No sir, nu-uh.

Instead, lets talk about the newest rumor in the CFA: calling on the EWCC to allow the Kodiaks/Canabinol match to be replayed.

Presidum Quoshen finally shows some interest in the mens club side, as he presented a call to the Executive Committee concering officiating problems that disallowed five aparent goals for the Kodiaks along with two other goals from the unknown Canabinol side - which would have resulted in a 604 shootout for the Kodiaks. Instead, goals in the 7th and 15th minutes by Olani Pjan were disallowed with no reason given. A goal that would have put Canabinol up 3-1 was ignored by the refs just before the half, and what could have been a blistering 7-minute-streak of goals by the Kodiaks that would have led to a 4-2 lead were all disallowed for odd penalty kicks for the opposition - which saw what was clearly a goal by the Canabinol defender on Raslan Seregan as it crossed the damn line disallowed, which once again stopped at 3-1 victory for the minnows of the group.

"The Kodiaks were understandably miffed over their loss to Nedalia, but considering the clubs are within striking distance in ranks and talent that was understandable. But the rather blantant mistakes in the match against Canabinol, even in sitations that benefited us, are unexcuable. The WCC should easily call on the hosts of World Cup 28 to allow the match to happen on a independent field with proper refs, and not the numbskulls sent by the official hosts to supervise the match," Quoshen said outside the Colonial House after meeting with Social Departments Minister (and resident crazy woman) Jaquee.

No word from the Starblaydi camp, as they currently hold the WCC Presidency. But it is rumored that Quoshen has been in touch with other teams that have complained about the results on Matchday 4 and hope to push the issue onto the ECWW as well as the New Montreal States, who oversaw the officiating duties for yesterday's qualifying session.

MATCHDAY SCHEDULES

MD 1: L 2-0 v Nedalia (@ Steelgrounds, Atens)
MD 2: off day (practice in Cana)
MD 3: W 2-1 v Emperor Pudu (@ Stock City Grounds, Jaxx)
MD 4: L 2-1 v Canabinol (@ Mountainside Fairgrounds, Castille)
MD 5: W 4-1 @ Blitzwehr
MD 6: @ Collonie
MD 7: @ Total n Utter Insanity
MD 8: @ Nedalia
MD 9: off day (practice in Cana)
MD10: @ Emperor Pudu
MD11: @ Canabinol
MD12: v Blitzwehr (@ Grand Free State International Playing Grounds, Provincetown)
MD13: v Collonie (@ Island Clan Stadia, Palace Heights)
MD14: v Total n Utter Insanity (@ Southampton National Square)

Expect the Rabbler to continue to follow the current scandal as news breaks.

[ooc: At least i have something else to rp-complain about now.]

SARZONIANS MAKE "RIDICULOUS CLAIMS"

Upon hearing that Sarzonia claimed that the South Osettian that refereed the Warriors match against Duana Hills was a Sarzonian citizen, the P2GSA had only one reaction...They laughed. "We checked his papers and his identification, and we found nothing that even remotely suggested that he had spent any time in Sarzonia at all. He certainly wasn't the Sarzonian citizen that they claimed him to be. They're probably just confusing him for another former South Osettian." Why would Sarzonia make such claims, then? "I don't know," an anonymous P2GSA official said when posed that question, "All I do know is that Sarzonia used to be a high-quality soccer nation, but they aren't anymore. We had a great deal of respect for them until this incident, but now they've completely lost our respect. They'll never get it back either."

"...and Wentland come forward again..."

Somewhere in deepest Akbaria, Tom Tolley was on the veritable edge of his seat. One more.

"...three minutes of injury time, the final whistle can't come soon enough for St Happenin..."

Five. Come on. Just one more.

"...nearly half-an-hour since the last goal...it took the Swifts most of the first half to sort the new tactics out, but since the break they have been rampant..."

And then they took off Hoppo and Barnesy. Dammit. Four-up and they go defensive? What gives?

"...just to remind you, elsewhere today in Group 12 Bazalonia narrowly went down to Phoenix..."

Yes, yes, and...Cataduanes beat New Lexington 3-1...

"...and Cataduanes beat New Lexington 3-1..."

Yes, I know...

"...and it's four to Wentland today..."

Dammit. One more goal and a thousand guineas are MINE.

"...and Capper is brought down on the edge of the area..."

This is it. This is IT. I can smell the NSPools jackpot...never got 2 results right, let alone all 3...

"...Kent steps up, he's had a marvellous game, scored one and set one up for Tommy Barnes..."

Come on, Cosmo...

"...ohh....YESSSS!!!! Five-nil!!"

YESSSS!!! Five-nil!!! Get IN THERE!!!

Tom Tolley danced around his living-room. All three scores correct. After thirty years of playing the NSPools he had finally won.

Tina Tolley came into the living room. "What's up, love?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing...just a big, big win!!!"

"Oh. By the way, I forgot to post your envelope. I'll do it now, if that's OK."

Thud.

"Tom, are you all right?"

OC: sorry about the first goal thing, I have enjoyed your match reports but failed to spot that. Nothing about to be said is my own view...


CNN and Cuation Press Row!

CNN made a naive move, daring to point out some mistakes in the interests of accuracy before complimenting the press for the general match report. The comments have provoked a row with the Head of Cuation Media, Chad Morris, getting involved despite the government’s attempts to quieten down the howls of outrage. In my exclusive interview with my boss, I, Travis Major, saw what he had to say.

Q: "The first instant they complained about... well first two involved the star player Chuck Norris. An idol in his country, it isn't surprising that a fuss was kicked up when he was called a dirty player. They claim it was accidents and even the quick to anger Roy took it well with the team camp saying they had no hard feelings for him. What is your view?"

Rat Face: "How is kicking someone in the head a clean act? I bet the manager and our beloved Holy Ruler Jude will complain to the WCC about such a horrible player. Roy Ferguson was controlling things but is easy to provoke. Is it any wonder that he was targeted? A roundhouse kick is a fighting move and leaves the foot high in a dangerous act, a straight red card. Then how does he accidentally kick Ferguson in the head when the man was attempting to block? How?"

Q: "Moving on is the third goal. The press claimed the defender dawdled and while CNN admits he should have done better, they claim hotshot Rual Mendiz harassed him off the ball. Mendiz is a surprisingly quick player and was going to be close to Hovest anyway due to the nature of the two formations."

A: "Rual hassle? That striker is lazy like a sloth, he wouldn't press a defender to save his granny. Besides, when you know your facing a quick striker, you don't take your time and that is what Hovis or whatever did! He dallied, took too long, mucked up!"

Q: "The next item on the agenda was our claims it was someone's first goal and getting the wrong player for the assist. That must raise questions about the standard of reporting for something like that to go unobserved?"

A: "Bah, what right do they have to complain. We have a longer history, two CoH semi finals, winner of our Baptism of Fire with legends like Sol Major and Abel Robinson forming a backline that humiliated the Weeiges on their own turf then shut out Nedlia. Who cares if we get some facts wrong about poxy no hopers like the Fighting Norris players?"

Q: "Um ok, not sure we are going to be very popular. The CNN then praised our press for the match report and the feeling within the Cuation team is that Fighting Norris are a talented team led by a great coach and CNN where correct for the most part. It even says so from the letter you received from the Holy Ruler!"

A: "I will say one thing, the CNN knows we have them licked. Now your fired! Hand in the latest match report first!"

xxxxx

Cuation Fan the Flames of Hope

Still second by goal difference but one point behind the leaders is not a bad start from five games. After a close defeat away to Bettia, Cuation have beaten the two worst sides and managed a credible victory over the Fighting Norris. Ideal given Cuation's habit of dropping form around the half way mark.

Home to the Burning Penguins, many players where rested but they still came out the strongest. Keeper Jodo had little to do though he was forced into parrying Garner cross-shot. The defence allowed toe attacking Burners to play possession, content to know they could snuff it out at will. Giovanni orchestrated the many attacks, the team using pace to get in behind the defence.

The reason Cuation only had two goals to their advantage was the two strikers failing to work well with each other. Anderton can not fill the role of Beanpole, he is a good player but falls over too easily and looks to play closer to the box. Keane meanwhile works harder then Rual but was unable to get into good positions.

In the first half, no goals where scored, an Ashton curler flying over and Milnar forcing Blas Baneulos into block after Milnar broke clear. Giovanni tried a chip but sliced it into the stand while Anderton had calls for a penalty turned down.

Keane scored first, in the 63rd minute. Rio nicked the ball off Eugenio Caca and played it to Giovanni. Ashton and Milnar made runs, Anderton strayed offside but the pass was inch perfect to Keane. Off like a whippet, he was clear with ease, his side foot finish past the keeper putting Cuation 1-0 up!

Playing possession football, it took till the 80th minute for Cuation to double the lead, making the game safe. Ashton had rampaged down the right before passing it back to Philip Cole. With ample room, the experienced fall back crossed towards the six yard line. Anderton rose highest and sent in a bullet header to the top corner.

The first team will return for the next game away too Squornshelous. The home team's attack will no doubt be too strong so it is up to Bettia to capitalise on the next game. If Rio can keep Xenakis shut up tight, Cuation might try to use their wing play but also have experience against a somewhat young side.

Sturmkrieger Drop Further!

A loss by a small margin is hardly unrespectable, and a loss by one to the twenty second team in the world, nonetheless.

Dropping 2-1 to Schiavonia on matchday 5, Tinsuvilia's young squad dropped from third to low third in the group standings, tied with CR 'scopes and Schiavonia at 6 points, only 2 behind the qualifying cutoff (Vejar currently holds 2nd with 8 points.) Although Tinsuvilia is behind in goal differential.

The Sturmkrieger, upset at the close loss but heartened by the match, were lead by a score from Answoir in the 32nd minute, lofting the goal over the head of Vonia keeper Ben Kershaw. Unable to score or defend from being scored upon, the Sturmkrieger lost the match to two quick goals from Schiavonia's excellent forwards.

The questionable behavior of keeper Dieter Rovage did not improve or worsen in this match, and manager Adler Baldwin announced that the controversial keeper will not start the next game, against CR 'scopes. Imre Keller may have his chance to shine next week.

Tinsuvilia:
1 (Answoir 32)
Schiavonia:
2 ("X" ?, "Y" ?)

http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/3532/sbc34jz.gif
At least it's not a loss
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/swilatia.jpg Swilatia 0 - 0 Sarzoniahttp://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/sarzonia.jpg
Whoops, we read the tables incurrectly. today's match was not Milchama, it was Sarzonia. and unfortunaltley that meant going against the first seed. The good new is that we did not lose.

Yes, and thats good. Also, it was a 0-0 draw, nothing happened during the match. I hate when this happens. And nothing special during this match. This is very bad. since there is really nothing to talk about, lets take a look at the group table, see where we are.

GROUP 11 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Sarzonia 4 2 2 0 7 1 6 8
Lisburn Mateys 5 2 2 1 7 5 2 8
Milchama 4 2 1 1 10 8 2 7
Swilatia 4 2 1 1 3 2 1 7
Giant Zucchini 4 1 2 1 5 5 0 5
Khenas 5 1 0 4 4 12 -8 3
Oglethorpia 4 0 2 2 3 6 -3 2

as you can see, we are in the fourth place, however it will only take one win to reach first right now.
OOC: The small RP is intetional. After all, scores of 0-0 mean nothing happened.

Chuck Norris News
For All Of Your Fighting Norris Coverage

We regret to inform all of you viewers that we have no match to report today. Why? I'd probably have to guess that this is the Fighting Norris' bye matchday, a good day of rest for them after a couple of tough matches.

However, just because there was no match played does not mean that there is no news to report! For those of you who may not have seen it, the most recent Cuation newscast was dedicated to insulting our objections to the neutrality of their coverage of the recent Fighting Norris vs. Cuation match. We particularly found the "I will say one thing, the CNN knows we have them licked." portion of their newscast. Clearly, that statement was made not to assess our newscast but to flat out insult us. What do we have to say in response? Being dignified people, we are not going to go around blindly attacking other newscasts. However, we do feel that something needs to be done to solve this perpetual conflict. Personally, we suggest an anchorman vs. anchorman boxing match, but that seems a little too brutal and would only worsen the problem, not assuage it. So, we propose a seize-burn on one another's newscasts in an effort to better the coverage of both of our esteemed broadcasts. We await your response with great anticipation.

Anyway, we have time to fill and coach of the Fighting Norris, Bob Janney, will probably have another heart attack if we don't allow him to begin his group analysis so...

"Hello! This is Bob Janney! It's time for some group analysis! We currently sit in fifth place out of seven teams in group four. You viewers at home are probably thinking something to the tune of "that pretty much sucks", but no it doesn't. Our next two matches are against 201-ranked Burning Penguins and 205-ranked Slakaj, two teams that we can most hopefully beat. This would imply that by the end of matchday seven, we hope to have 12 points, as opposed to the six we currently have. Squornshelous has home matches in the next two weeks against second and third seeds in the group, Bettia and Cuation. It is very likely that Squornshelous will emerge victorious in both of these games, giving them 16 points by the end of matchday seven, four projected points ahead of us. In a strange twist of fate, fourth-seeded Five Civilized nations also plays both Bettia and Cuation in the next two matchdays. These matches could all end in favor of either team, there are no certainties. However, considering how both Bettia and Cuation are likely to lose to Squornshelous, they can have at most 12 points after matchday seven, tying them both with us in second place. The point that we'd be in second place is also debatable as Five Civilized Nations could conceivably have 13 points, but this is unlikely. Long story short, here is my projection for the group four places after matchday seven.

1. Squrornshelous - 16 points
2. Mr Chuck Norris - 12 points
3. Bettia - 12 points
4. Cuation - 10 points
5. Five Civilized Nations - 8 points
6. Burning Penguins - 3 points
7. Slajak - 0 points

As you can see, I think we'll be alright come matchday eight. Keep in mind that all of my presumptions come as a result of feverish analysis and logic. It is very possible that I am completely incorrect in all of my predictions, but the only way to find out if I'm right or wrong is to keep watching. I'll talk to you after our next match against Slakaj!"

World Cup 28 Schedule of the Fighting Norris:
Matchday 1: Vs. Five Civilized Nations (Won 4-2)
Matchday 2: Vs. Squornshelous (Loss 0-2)
Matchday 3: At Bettia (Won 3-1)
Matchday 4: At Cuation (Loss 1-3)
Matchday 5: On Bye
Matchday 6: Vs. Slakaj
Matchday 7: Vs. Burning Penguins
Matchday 8: At Five Civilized Nations
Matchday 9: At Squornshelous
Matchday 10: Vs. Bettia
Matchday 11: Vs. Cuation
Matchday 12: On Bye
Matchday 13: At Slajak
Matchday 14: At Burning Penguins

Fighting Norris World Cup 28 Record: (2-0-2)

If it's Tuesday, it must be Bazalonia. Second in the six-long away stretch for the Swifts. And some good news at last. Frankie Treves was back.

So back almost to a first choice line-up for the Swifts.

1 Derrington
2 Talbot
4 Wright
5 Moon
14 Flynn
7 Loder
6 Capper
10 Weston
11 Kent
8 Treves
9 Barnes

Pat Flynn was making his international debut. Ray Jarvis had pulled a muscle in a recent league match and was rested.

***

John Capper was hiding his true self well from his team-mates but he felt tired. The time was near.

Bazalonia was a familiar place to him. Somewhere in his past. The place was decked out in black and gold, the Bazalopes were keen on their football. Black and gold were the colours of Prestwich Town. John Lucas' first club.

Joe Weston had been exploring the streets of Bazalonia as well. He had started off at Prestwich and had heard of the tales of John Lucas. A mercurial midfielder who lived in a caravan, like John Capper. Never mixed with the other players, like John Capper. Lucas had inspired Prestwich to their greatest successes in the 1920s. Tragically he died in a collision with a post whilst scoring the goal that took Prestwich to the Cup final for the first time. Alas The Miners had lost.

Weston had met Capper before when he was breaking in as a callow apprentice. Capper had played for Prestwich for a couple of seasons. His last game for them turned out to be the Cup final in which Capper scored the winner. Since then he had gone to Warpstone and was now at Redstoke. Although he had not had any success with them as yet.

Weston knew of Bazalonia's involvement in Wentland football history. The first foreign tour by a Wentland team back in the 20s was by Prestwich. They had come to Bazalonia as part of their swing around different countries. Things must have changed a bit since then.

Weston spotted something interesting in an antique shop window. T.E.Knight & Sons. An old man inside appeared to be buying something, a small horse. The old man looked remarkably like John Capper. Only 30 years older.

Intrigued, Weston went inside. The man had gone, but the shopkeeper was pleased to tell Weston what had just been bought. "It was a small silver trophy. The old gentleman said it had sentimental value for him."

"Did he give his name?"

"He did, but I can't tell you that, can I?"

Mr Knight busied himself with some stuff at the back of the shop. But Joe Weston caught a glance at the receipt-book. Mr Knight was not one of these modern shopkeepers, with pooters and electrickery and all sorts of nonsense. No, a biro never crashes, does it? The old paper and pen is the way to go. And in his receipt book he had jotted down the purchaser's name.

Upside down Weston found it a bit difficult to read. Plus Mr Knight's handwriting was not the greatest. But the name of the purchaser looked remarkably like "John Lucas".

Hmm.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

Ridiculous loss bug bites in 1-0 away loss
Meh.

In a match that suprisingly not many made the trip for, Casari lost 1-0 to the Second Empire.

"Meh, it was a close match, they got an early one. What's there to say?" Livingston said after the game, who plays his club football in the Macabees.

The rest of the group ended in 1-0 scores as well, with Commerce Heights laying on top of the group at the moment.

"We'll have to see how it all plays out, I suppose." Hill said, not willing to make any further comments to the media.

The Green Angels are now in the hunt to make the final tournament in the the 28th World Cup...

The Group's Minnows are about to go to the National Stadium for the home leg of qualification. The Hopes of the Angels have never been higher. Qualification to the final tournament is within reach for the Angels at this point if good fortune smiles down for the rest of the matches of the qualification. (the Angels have 6 points at this time and are tied with Maccabees in Group 14...)

This set of matches may be the catapult for Kirstiriera to improve their national standing in the Sporting World.

Alexandria Times-Tribune-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer

Sports Section

A shocker as Milchama lose

If you had told any of the staff here at our newspaper that the Warriors would lose to Khenas before the game we would have laughed you out of the room. Now though after our underachieving Warriors lost 3-2 to this unranked side we are left to wonder how good this team really is. Coach Jamie Smith said, "Now we need a result in our next game. This is one of the worst losses in our history as a nation. We need to rebound from this as fast as possible if we plan on qualifying or doing well in the World Cup... Right now I am just upset and appalled with our performance right now. A draw against a team ranked over 100 spots below us and a loss to an unranked side. This is just unacceptable, this sloppy play needs to stop now or else we will just crash out in the cup if we even make it there."

We will not do a match report of this horrow show as we have no reason to show our team sucking.

Final Score:
Milchama 2 (Albentine 23, 34)
Khenas 3 (X 78, 85 Y 90)

Raging Penguins Report:
They actually drew Spaam 0-0 at home. A wonderful performance by the defense and the tactical nukes helped intimidate Spaam to not attack much.

Milchama Man of the Match (if it's possible in such a stinker)
Floren Albentine- It's a pity a wonderful two goal first half by Albentine was wasted by an atrocious defensive effort. Maybe if Smith had not subbed him out at halftime the game would have been different.

Yafor 2 1 Alasdair I Frosticus 1

Some residents of ordinary physical reality may have had the following dream last night. The Holy Empire Football Association wishes to apologise for any inconvenience.

"Basil!"

"Theo!"

"We're back again!"

"That we are! But I thought we'd be back earlier...."

"Umm, well, I think the idea was that HEFA would use us to comment on wins, Basil..."

"...and there haven't been a lot of those yet, have there?"

"No.... for all the talk of upsets in this cup, the only team we've beaten so far are unranked Iksonic."

"It hasn't all been boring, Theo, though... When we lost to Hockey Canada, the home fans fell asleep from boredom, accidentally interfered with the Dream Simulacra, and all 11 Tzmisces played the second half in hockey masks - what fun!"

"What about Hockey Canada comparing us to Suriname?"

"An outrage, Theo. They should instead compare us to a team that was once important and influential, then vanished for several years, and has been unyieldingly crap since its intermittent return."

"Is there a nation like that?"

"Dunno. But I'll give it a think. Meanwhile, we're also having to respond to charges that our match commentary is 'juvenile and sexist'. Can you imagine!"

"Ridiculous, I know, Basil... let's look at the highlights from last night's match against the Golden Wolves....

---------------------------

[first half]

[smoking on pipe, stroking brand new goatee] "....which is why, Theo, I think Orwell's analysis of working class conditions in _The Road to Wigan Pier_ is still relevant today, but only if placed in an international context."

"Fascinating, Basil.... but Yafor 2 just took the lead through a well-taken 22nd minute free-kick."

"Perhaps they did, but I find that a minor detail compared to the oppression of the international proletariat. My point is, just the major industrialised nations of the west have become almost entirely middle class service-based economies as locally-based mining and manufacturing have atrophied; what few menial jobs exist usually farmed out to immigrants, minorities or illegal workers. Since most voters can now convince themselves they are middle class, western socialism has almost disappeared as the conditions that led to its rise have almost disappeared amongst the voters. Yet the dirty secret of the international capitalism is that the same horrific working conditions and slums that used to exist in the west are now a primary feature of third world countries. In many cases, in fact, the conditions faced by third world manual labourers are much worse than those faced by the western working class. But because these conditions are 'foreign', western voters and governments feel free to implicitly ignore them for the most part because they no longer impact their own citizens. It's not just manual labour and manufacturing that's been outsourced, but also the squalid conditions that gave rise to western socialism in the first place."

"Fascinating, Basil, but what's this got to do with football?"

"Nothing much. But continuing on the Orwell theme....."

---------------------------

[second half]

"...but despite completely dominating the game, Yafor 2 can't break through the Imperial defence a second time!"

"Ah. The Imperial defence. One is reminded, Theo, of Heraclius' campaigns against the Persian Empire during the 7th century crisis of the Byzantine Empire"

"I'm sure you are, Basil, but it's an Imperial counterattack.... Tzimisces passes to Tzimisces, who runs down the wing, crosses it... Tzimisces with the header... it hits the crossbar, but it's picked up by Tzimisces! Tzimisces scores! Against the run of play, it's 1-1 in the 59th minute!"

"Of course it is. But Heraclius didn't use footballers when counterattacking against the Persians. No. He used the Byzantine Army. And of course he won - alas his campaigns so wore out both the Byzantines and the Persians that both Empires were virtually defenceless when the forces of Islam erupted from the Arabian peninsula...."

"Well, let's hope the same thing doesn't happen to our brave lads tonight!

--------------------------------

"And in fact it didn't. 1-1 was the final score. I see you've shaved your goatee, incidentally, Basil. And you've discarded that ridiculous pipe."

"Yeah.... I'd rather go back to discussing big knockers."

"What, the ones on the Imperial Palace doors?"

"Ummmm..... yes..... that's precisely what I meant. Of course it is."

http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/3189/sportsnetrv9bw.png
Soccer Central

Well Rorysville is brought back down to earth as they drop a close one to #45 Ranked Kericia 2-1. With the loss that Drops Rorysville to 2-1-2 in thier fiorst 5 games of Qualifing.
" We had some chances but let them slip out of our hands in this game. We played a much higher ranked team tightly but again a few youthfull mistakes led to the winning goal with only 8 minutes left on the clock.We'll take the day off as a day to get everything back together and train a little to get ready for our next batch of games."--Coach McKlintok
"This one hurts a little we had a chance to at the least tie the 45th ranked team and we let that go I think we really had a chance to win the game. These young kids are really learning how to play though. By the end of tjis tournament they will look more veteran like,This Team will only get stronger for future World Cups."--Captain Mike Jasper


Other Group Seven scores from last night
Becquerelia 1 Jeruselem 2
Philthealbino 0 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 3

and now the Standings
GROUP 7 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
1-Jeruselem 4 3 1 0 7 3 4 10
2-Becquerelia 4 3 0 1 8 3 5 9
3-Rorysville 5 2 1 2 8 9 -1 7
4-ASMV 4 2 0 2 6 5 1 6
5-Kericia 4 2 0 2 6 5 1 6
6-Boudra-Boudra 4 2 0 2 5 6 -1 6
7-Philthealbino 5 0 0 5 0 9 -9 0

Woodstock Daily Mail

War of words consumes Stars, Warriors

by Lyle Hanover
Daily Mail Staff Writer

2 MAY 2006 -- The war of words between Sarzonia's national football team and a team known as the Warriors could only be classified as an expected outcome. After all, the Stars play in the same group as Milchama, a nation already widely known throughout the football world for having the longest newspaper names in existence.

However, this isn't quite the war of words most fans expected. After Praying2God's media outlets slammed the Sarzonian press and team for Coach Dave Wilson's comments about the ongoing feud with the now-defunct nation of South Osettia, Wilson showed no signs of letting up.

"Obviously, they don't have a clue," Wilson said. "The tenor of what my remarks should have done is light a fire under their [behinds] to get them to stop their obsession with South Osettia. Obviously, they chose to ignore that."

Reports from the Woodstock Office of Vital Records confirmed what the Daily Mail reported in its edition yesterday, that the referee in question was a naturalised Sarzonian citizen. The office responded to a Open Records Act request filed by the Daily Mail with the details that a Binjin Cowert filed for citizenship in Sarzonia upon the dissolution of South Osettia and was granted legal immigrant status.

"We generally expedite the process of immigration when it involves the abolishment of a country or a request for asylum," said Gladys Whitney, the operations manager at the OVR. "Technically, Cowert's application fit under both categories, but his application was processed as a citizen of a defunct nation."

Officials from the Office of Internal Affairs were not available for comment at press time. The President is currently out of the country and did not respond to several telephone calls requesting comment.

"The fact remains that Praying2God has lost our respect the same way we allegedly lost theirs," midfielder Jarret Sanderson said. "What respect did they earn to begin with? They're a midtable side who only made the World Cup once since I can remember. We haven't missed the World Cup nine straight times. When they have a record like that, then they can talk to us about respect."