World Cup 28 RP Thread [Archive] - Page 2

The Macabees

03-05-2006, 03:05

Do You Believe in Miracles? You sexy thang...
In a rather... uneventful... world cup... well perhaps we should explain uneventful first. We tend to lose when we cover our games, and so we have vowed to never cover our games, but these past three games have been too strange not to cover, so we feel compelled to write an article about them and probably ruin our streak. We blame G-d. In any case, to continue. In a rather uneventul world cup, kicked off by two straight losses to a couple of unknown and underestimated team, dark skies suddenly began to clear with a sudden one goal difference victory over the feared Alberthame, a consequent bypass and two sequential victories against the masterful Commerceheights and the cunning Casari. Yes, we added the adjectives to glorify the only victories we may reap from this world cup. Don't blame us for sucking. Blame the players. Or maybe even G-d. In any case, the team that was once 'sold' as the new wonder team has done better than expected after the horrible debacle of the Cup of Harmony. The new goalkeeper Argentín Detal has proved to be much more able than previously thought, and indeed, after each victory people have flocked more and more to home games and if the team somehow continues with what they have been pulling off perhaps we will see the full stadiums we once saw three world cups alone. Using this string of victories as the rule, we do believe in miracles. One might not really think we're a sexy thang though. And yes, that is thang, not thing.

In any case, let's do a 'who scored' in a nutshell. The first matchday saw a defeat against Kirstiriera, with only Fez Telarain scoring for the Empire, and the second matchday saw nobody scoring and one goal scored against. Obviously, not a very happy day in the Empire. We blame la siesta. The third matchday saw a victory, with two goals by Seydlitz, an older but experienced player who showed that age did not hamper his ability to put in some damn powerful shots into the foe's net. The next day Telarain scored again against Casari, concluding a one to zip game, and finally scored his third goal in the two to one game against Commerceheights today, along with Kíem Tam, who replaced the tired Seydlitz in this game. This also has spurred rumours of Seydlitz wounding himself lightly - in other words, something wrong with a leg ligament. Nothing official has been reported and if we recall.. remember, we haven't exactly been following this due to supersticio... he will be played tomorrow. But we're not really sure... nor do I think too many readers actually care.

So now, where does this good news put us? Unfortunately, not anywhere above average, but at least we're not last. In fact, we're fourth, and our big goal should be getting away from Kirstiriera as far as possible, and then focusing on tying Molvania - that's if the miracle is still with us. If the miracle wishes, please contact us if you want us to continue to stop covering this world cup. Hey, at least we closed the game with Casari, and to a lesser extent Commerce Heights, although we really, really doubt being able to catch up to teams technically over sixty ranks away from us. But who knows? Our players are surely stoked, and it seems that more people have been buying last day tickets to world cup events and plane rides to those countries. Truly interesting. Rather, it's much of a misery and unfortunate story. The country has been emerged in a long, dreary and bloody war of succession and for a long while the team was the populace's hopes. Too bad the team tended to suck... bad. Fortunately, the infallible Fedor somehow managed to crush the Weigari rebels at the Nestor, close the trap at Mons Dei, and hold the evil Havenic armies at Mosnoi Bor. Maybe the war and golden-white success at the world cup go hand in hand? Maybe not. We'll see soon enough.

We were able to capture some words from head coach Leo Benz, and he was more than hopeful, "The team has always tried as hard as it could, but sometimes that's not good enough. That's not a bad thing. We are gaining, like I have always said, experience, and that is the most important thing."

The more juvenile, but also more attractive, Fez Telarain [hero of the cup for the Empire] said, "At least we get to travel to foreign countries and bag some hotties." Ironically, there are reports from the paparazzi that he is also gay. Meh, as long as he continues to score goals we don't care what bus he rides.

In other words, the mood of the team still seems high, and these recent successes have aided in keeping morale in the clouds, although we'd gather up to now that the team is just doing this for fun, as their pay is rather... horrendous... compared to other top notch players. Well, they're doing good for how they're doing, and that's all that matters. Remember team, we are here for you... unless you lose a lot.

Qazox

03-05-2006, 05:05

Qazox City Herald

A first for the Black Oxen today in thier match vs. The islands of Qatar as Qazox was involved with its first ever 0-0 match. Both teams struggled to apply any pressure on the keepers as a surprise late-june snowstom blanketed the Pika region. The referees and the head coaches all agreed to play the match, but as more snow fell on the stadium, both teams looked like they regretted to play.

During the match, many player on both sides slipped on the freezing ground, and Qazox' forward, Maria Gretsky had to be taken off in the 70th minute as she colapsed in the field. Early medical reports from the team doctor, Dr. Doom, claim that due to the low temps and the fact that the players were in shorts, Ms. Gretsky had caught the Oxian Flu. After the match, the players and coaches from both sides were given Flu shots to prevent the spread of this rare flu. The referees and 85% of the crowd of 34,000 have be inoculated as well, but the many fans from Qatar refused the shots or could not be reached. Hopefully, this flu will not spread to far, but in places where this strain has not been before, deaths can occur in 5 to 15% of the cases. Ms. Gretsky will not be travelling with the team to Legalese to hopefully contain the virus. No reports of any symptoms have been reported amongst the other players or the coaches, and they have been cleared for travel.
(ooc: decided to do this thread instaed of the Hamad thread...that was going nowhere anyway...to the rest of my opponents, if you lose to me you can use the Oxian Flu as an excuse)

In other Group 5 action today, Audioslavia continued its unbeaten run by beating Legalese 3-0 in Audioslavia and Anastasiania picked up its 1st ever WC win by beating The Remote Islands 2-0 at home. Zorinia had the bye.

Group Standings after Matchday 6:

GROUP 5 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Audioslavia 5 5 0 0 13 3 10 15
Legalese 5 3 1 1 4 4 0 10
Qazox 5 2 1 2 5 4 1 7
Isls of Qutar 5 1 3 1 4 3 1 6
Anastasiania 5 1 2 2 5 7 -2 5
Remote Islands 6 1 1 4 5 10 -5 4
Zorinia 5 1 0 4 5 10 -5 3

Up next for Qazox is a short trip to Legalese, where the Black Oxen had their first ever taste of international competion in the BoF of WC 27. Hopefully, playing in a country they have been to before will help Qazox pull off the upset.

Dorian and Sonya

03-05-2006, 06:16

Unicorns Down Homieville - Look to Rosberg Match

Queen Sonya watched the match with some pride for a change. The play today finally showed some consistent team play as the Unicorns used an early goal - and a defense we didn’t even know we had, to down Homieville 1-0. The goal came in the 14th minute from the Unicorn’s top scorer, Altáriël Telperiën.

“The win was good for us” said the Queen following the match. “Who knew that we could actually manage to stop the other side from scoring. That hasn’t happened very often for us.

The win moves the Unicorns into 4th on the Group 2 table, only behind Liverpool England on goal differential. I may need to repeat that in order to make sure it is correct. Who would have guessed the World #2 squad would be in 3rd place after 6 match days and five matches? Not anyone I can think of right now.

In other Group 2 action, Kaze Progressa shocked LE with a 3-2 win and D2R continued to look like the #2 squad in the world with a 2-1 victory over Vilita.

Next up for the Mystical Unicorns is a match against Rosberg. They occupy the bottom slot in the group and we really need to handle our business before we start the second half of qualification.

Now for the part you are all dying to see:
The Upset Watch………

Group 1 : #1 Bedistan took an 0-2 thrashing from #46 Rordia
#58 Anemathic Repuclics handled #36 Hypocria 2-1. The luck of the Hyppos is famous to all.
Group 2 : See article above for details of the 2 upsets here.
Group 3 : #57 Harlesburg downed #3 Starblaydia 2-0
Group 4 : Two draws concerning the top two seeds. As someone else put it, Nothing major.
Group 5 : A draw. Nothing special. It’s only points, right?
Group 6 : #68 Haraki demolished #28 The Kazoos 3-0.
Group 7 : #45 Kericia downed #8 Jeruselem 2-0. Top seeds losing 2-0. This makes three times today.
Group 8 : #62 Elrich diced some Spaam 1-0
Group 9 : See entry for Group 4
Group10: #203 Blitwehr blitzed #94 Emperor Pudu 2-1 - and a draw.
Group11: NONE - WOW
Group12: #39 Cataduanes beat #14 Fmjphoenix 1-0. And a draw.
Group13: just an unranked beating someone again.
Group14: #65 The Macabees downed #26 Commerce Heights 2-1.
Group15: #71 Tynelia upended #24 Turori 2-1.

See you all on the “Who Beat Who Show” tomorrow.

Qazox

03-05-2006, 06:20

(ooc..but very important.. Just updated the WC 28 NSwiki page... take a look at it right here -----> http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/World_Cup_28#World_Cup_28_Qualifing_Groups#World_Cup_28_Qualifing_Groups

Thanks... if you feel like helping me edit it, go right ahead, just leave it looking nice please thanks.)

Wentland

03-05-2006, 06:58

Saints alive?
Miracles or something more sinister? Winthrop Tuesday continues the World Cup investigation

The ninetieth minute. Corner to Wentland. They’ve been punishing Bazalonia all match without reward and here is the final chance. Cross comes over. Blake Wright rises, his header is blocked on the line, and Frankie Treves forces it home. 1-0, the Swifts go berserk, Treves runs over to the Wentland fans and hurls himself amongst them, followed by half the first team. Three very valuable points.

Meanwhile, Bazalonia heft the ball forward. Suddenly the Swifts realize what has happened. The referee has given a free-kick. And there are only four Swifts left to defend. It is a hopeless task, outnumbered two-to-one it is a simple task for the Bazalopes to take the lead. It takes six whole minutes to get the game re-started, such is the ire amongst the Swifts. And as soon as the kick-off happens the whistle is blown. 1-0. Zero very valuable points.

The replays have been examined from every angle but there is no sign whatsoever of any infringement. Referee Spanner merely said there was “a push”; indeed there was, but it was by a defender on Weston, rather than vice versa.

There has been a whole series of shocks in the World Cup and they are continuing. Is this some sort of holy influence on the teams with the religious hosts living up to their piety? Or is there something deeper?

Certainly the officiating has been dire. One referee has already been removed from duty and others may soon follow – a formal protest has been made, the first in Wentland history, against Spanner, not least for the fact that he allowed the game to be restarted when there were fewer than seven Wentland players on the pitch. As well as the replays show his whistle for the “foul” to have been inaudible.

Other teams are beginning to see something deeper. Since our last investigation LiverpoolEngland has lost 2 matches out of 2. Both to teams ranked well below them. More matches than they lost in the entire last World Cup. The second seeds are having a hard time of it – with 5 matches under their belt only 5 are currently matching their seeding, despite having had home matches against third seeds and not having played the top seed yet. Same record as the third seeds.

The group that is really excelling is the fourth seeds. Seven of them – nearly half – are in the top three and poised for qualification. That is well above their expected performance. Whereas other teams who would be expected to do better are struggling mightily.

However, it is still early days and there are still a number of matches to go. Some teams certainly seem to have suffered from a run of bad luck; those who lament the Swifts languishing 5 points off a qualification spot (thanks to Cataduanes’ shock win at Fmjpheonix – a mighty result for the Cataduanos), should look at Spaam, who reached the Round of 16 last time. The Spaamanians have 1 win in 5, despite home advantage for most of the matches, and have scored but 4 goals.

But that does not assuage the Wentland press. Despite being the most active in the tournament they are watching as the Swifts, of all the second seeds, are the furthest away from actual qualification. There is some talk of a press boycott in future, although that may be partly induced by the forthcoming Festival that will keep everyone occupied for a few days. Any excuse for a party.

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

03-05-2006, 07:48

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg
Sea Dragons Drop Bequerelia - Join Mad Scramble

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from Bequerelia.

Perhaps the most important match day of WC28 qualification for ASMV was today in Bequerelia where the Sea Dragons had a shot to get back into the hunt. A loss would have been very harmful to hopes for a second venture into the WC proper.

Bequerelia had been on quite a roll to begin with. 3 wins in 3 matches had seen them rocket to the top of the list in Group 7. But that had been against weaker competition. The matches with the big boys still had to be played. A match day 5 loss had dropped them to second in the standings behind top dog Jeruselem. The ASMV came to town.

A goal in the 67th minute by Pablo Iglesias was all that the Sea Dragons would need to win as the defense did its job. And now comes the tangled mess that is Group 7.

Jeruselem leads the group with 10 points. The 4 squads have 9 points - Bequrelia, Kericia, ASMV, and Boudra-Boudra. Rorysville has 7 points. Philthealbino has not managed a point as of yet.

This makes the group too tight to call. MD7 brings an end to the first half and everyone is looking for that leg up on the others. But it will be a tough day.

Jeruselem plays host to our Sea Dragons who would love nothing more than to knock off the group’s best
Kericia plays Bequerelia, and the winner will have a head start for the second half of qualifying.
Boudra-Boudra plays Rorysville and both sides would love to win, but it is more important to Rorysville.

No matter what happens on MD7 though, 6 sides will be separated by no more than 6 points. That could end up as close as 6 sides within 2 points of each other. Whew! Talk about close. Reminds me of our group in WC27 qualifiers.

Friends Watch
Hypocria fell to their curse and Anamathic Republics 1-2
Dorian and Sonya edged Homieville 1-0
Cuation earned a 2-2 draw with Squornshelpus
Ariddia was violated 1-4 by Rejistania
Milchama crushed Swilatia 4-1
Tadjikistan decimated Pastorville 4-0

The Archregimancy

03-05-2006, 08:20

My flu-ridden co-host forgot to post the link to the MD 6 scores:

Here it is. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10886538&postcount=6)

Tadjikistan

03-05-2006, 09:18

Tadjikistan unleashes its devils

Dushanbe - It seems as if the Tadjik Tigers work as a dieseltrain, slow to warm up, but once the engine is running at full speed, there's no stopping it. And the Pastorville Saints could only witness that power behind the Tadjik national team today. For the first time since the beginning of the qualifications, the fans saw the old Tadjikistan at work.

Georgi Shpagin, who was spotted among the Tadjik fans, smiled as he saw how the Tadjik devils trashed the holy defenses of Pastorville. Even the teams seven reverend strong couldnt do it. Shpagin explained what he saw 'The Saints are focussed on defending and seem to forget that they need to attack too. The Tadjik defenders, here with Andrej Gyurza at the helm had no trouble keeping Reverend Harris out of the Tadjik goal area, eventually Gyurza was left behind like a 'libero'[free moving defender] while the others left their positions and helped the Tadjik strikers break through the Pastorville lines.'

Nicolay Elisarov made his first goal for the Tadjik national team today, when he and Saradov moved down the left flank, Saradov keeping the Saints busy, while Elisarov freed himself and took up position near the left pole. Saradovs assist, not exactly wellplaced, was deviated past Reverend Smith for the first Tadjik goal. Saradov added another goal to his record later in the first half, giving the Tadjiks a comfortable lead they never lost.

The second half was more of the same with the Tigers hunting for scoring opportunities, Tulberdiev and Zyrianov each cashed those in and ended the match for Pastorville and the pressure on Alexander Zaevs shoulders 'This is a strong team we played against and the team did a great job, we broke down the strongest defensive line in Group 13. Offcourse this iwnt over yet, our next opponent is our main rival for the qualifications; Spruitland, they crushed the Apologetic Kittens with 0-3, they currently have a better record than us and will probably try to take three points in Dushanbe. We will do whatever is in our might to keep them from winning and if we can we'll even try to keep those three points here.'

GROUP 13 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Spruitland 5 4 1 0 10 1 9 13
Tadjikistan 5 3 2 0 11 3 8 11
Radke 5 2 1 2 6 6 0 7
N. Caesarea 6 1 5 0 4 3 1 8
Apo. Kittens 5 1 1 3 1 6 -4 4
Pastorville 5 1 1 3 3 11 -8 4
Atheistic Right 5 0 1 4 1 6 -5 1

MD1: Bye
MD2: Atheistic Right - Tadjikistan D 1-1
MD3: Tadjikistan - Radke W 4-2
MD4: N. Ceasarea - Tadjikistan D 1-1
MD5: Apo. Kittens - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD6: Tadjikistan - Pastorville W 4-0
MD7: Tadjikistan - Spruitland
MD8: Bye
MD9: Tadjikistan - Atheistic Right
MD10: Radke - Tadjikistan
MD11: Tadjikistan - N. Ceasarea
MD12: Tadjikistan - Apo. Kittens
MD13: Pastorville - Tadjikistan
MD14: Spruitland - Tadjikistan

Tadjik Goalscorers:
Saradov - 5
Zyrianov - 3
Tulberdiev - 2
Elisarov - 1
Kirponos - 1

Jeruselem

03-05-2006, 12:01

* Weird theme some *

Rachel "This is Rachel Goldstein reporting for JGN at the World Cup 28. We can call Group 7 the group of death. It seems only one team seem to getting trampled on the way to World cup glory, that's Phil the Albino. Everyone else seems to be contender. Jeruselem played Kericia and lost it's first game. The Crusaders lost 0-2 to a team which has stopped the rot of two losses in a row. Kericia were the much better team on the day, but saying that Jeruselem weren't playing like number 8 seed either. Our main keeper will be out for two weeks and the reserve keeper must perform."

* Police chase drunk man around *

Rachel "Sorry about that. The locals are restless. In the other teams won as expected. Becquerelia lost again to a much improved Sea Dragons, who happen to play Jeruselem next. The Sea Dragons are not exactly breathing fire but are ready for a fight. Can the Crusaders slay the Dragons? Boudra-Boudra or Boudra times two - won again. Yes, they beat Phil the Albino. Rorysville had the bye so being 2nd last is not it's fault."

* More drunks file by *

Rachel "Hockey Canada, what a team. They just thumped a contender Yafor 2 three nil. Just like that. Looking really good for the Canucks who have not lost a game so far. AND sad news for our beloved Lions. They did lose to that insane team, but only one two. Not a bad result to the Lions as their opponents are just super on some days. The Lions fought and tried - that's what we want and like to see. Their next opponents, shouldn't be that difficult in comparison."

* More drunks file by *

Rachel "Looking at Group 7, Jeruselem on 10 points and well everyone else. FOUR TEAMS on nine points, yes you heard me. If the team is not Roryville or Phil the Albino, then they are on 9 points. God, this is a fight to death"

* Some cheerleaders walk past *

Rachel "Well, we play the Sea Dragons next. Nothing separates these teams really. If we lose, there's going be be problems. If we win, we put the Sea dragons at a disadvantage. Having all but one team in contention is just hell for teams who lose games"

Cataduanes

03-05-2006, 12:15

ISLANDERS BEAT VIKINGS

The Islanders travelled to face the FMJ Phoenix, known to the Cataduaño sporting media as the Vikings, the home side are ranked 14th and with this fixture likely to determine who will go on to top the group at the end they were firm favourites and the sell out home crowd were enthusiastic in there backing of the Vikings.

The Vikings kicked off the match confidently and with a slightly defensive Cataduanes team the Vikings controlled the majority of the possesion for the first thirty minutes with each pass being cheered by their supporters, the home side hit the post in the 28th minute from a shot by Siieranu Ijanaeil, and they missed another great chance in the 33rd minute when Laura Boyd dribbled with speed down the left channel to put in a sublime cross that was narrowly put over by the head of Mike Nolan. But after the initial period of dominance the Islanders began to counter attack and thorugh the intelligent runs of Guarin and Sacario the Islanders sealed a shock goal in the 44th minute to take the lead, when Desmond Howard was dispossessed in the center of the park by Toni Souletano who proceeded to but the ball 20 yards upfield into the path of the advancing Guarin whose neat dribbling beat Brian Bash to get into the box and set up Butch Sacario for a tap in from 6 yards. All of a sudden the stadium had gone deathly quiet as the only noise's that could be heard was the celebrations of the Islanders celebrating and the chanting of the 700 or so Cataduaño fans that made the trip.

The second half began with the homeside still looking dazed and Cataduanes immediatly began to play offensively looking to further the lead, the pressure almost payed off with Butch Lim's long range shot hitting the crossbar in the 56th minute, however this near miss seem to galvanize the Vikings who began to hold there nerve and play with more confidence. By the 70th minute Cataduanes where forced on the defensive and began to play 11 men behind the ball as the Vikings turned the screw on the visitors, however Jose Sullop in between the sticks for Cataduanes defied all the Vikings many shots on goal and in the 85th minute looked beaten by Andrew Jenkins breathtaking shot from 30 yards only to push it over the crossbar in spectacular fashion. Cataduanes held on despite the furious attacks by the vikings and came away with a 1-0 victory, many pundits back home and across the UNFR region are calling these one of the gretest triumphs for the Cataduaño Seleccion since beating the Archregimancy in the qualifiers to secure passage to the WC26 finals. Indeed Coach Jose Manua was very happy with a grin from ear to ear ''what can i say, we really needed to show our determination in this match and we did just that, the boys showed that they have cojones, like the Matadors back home they were fearless!'' was Jose Manua's post match assessment.

Elsewhere in the group Wentland's form took a turn for the worse losing 1-0 away to Bazalonia while Magnus Valerius, playing at home, were victorious over St Happenin. The Islanders victory on MD 6 leaves them top of group and 3 points clear of FMJ Phoenix. They face Bazalonia at home on MD 7 and with the Cataduaño fans in jubilant and beligerent mood the Estadio Nacional will no doubt be a seething cauldron for the Bazalonians.

GROUP 12 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Cataduanes 5 5 0 0 15 3 12 15
Fmjpheonix 5 4 0 1 9 2 7 12
Wentland 5 2 1 2 10 6 4 7
Bazalonia 5 2 1 2 6 7 -1 7
New-Lexington 5 1 2 2 6 7 -1 5
Magnus Valerius 5 1 0 4 6 13 -7 3
St. Happenin 6 0 2 4 3 17 -14 2

Giant Zucchini

03-05-2006, 13:47

Dear diary,

Well I can't fault the guys today...we were simply outclassed...but we gave them Sarzonians a run for their money today, if only we performed this way against all the teams in the group we wouldn't be in this position today...but that doesn't mean my work stops here, still got more videos to see and analyse...international football is SO different from the domestic stuff...

D

Harlesburg

03-05-2006, 14:48

Brave Plan Pays Off!
Starblaydia 0 Harlesburg 2

With Starblaydia undefeated after 4 matches and Harlesburg to date being disappointing to say the least after 2 early loses then a win and a draw no one if would have expected Harlesburg’s Falcons do go into the cavern which is Starblayida and extract a valuable 3 points with a 2 goals to nil score line.

When Harlesburg Coach Thomas Liebel was asked about what was the key to the victory he said…

“Simple we knew that we couldn’t hold back against them, they would be too strong and so we felt we should hit them with everything we had and we had to hit them early which is exactly what we did.
I am really happy for the boys today”

Harlesburg showed great interest from the outset looking to feel their way up the centre of the field, long passes 1-2 moves and what could best be described as general havoc in motion.

The scoring opened in the 6th minute when Walter Nollie in the number 11 jersey ran onto a near perfect ground pass from Federine Moskinel that put him into space inside the back defensive line and he drilled it home low past the keeper.
From here the opportunities kept coming although the score wasn’t ticking over the pressure exerted was felt by Starblaydia.
2 corners in a row in the 28th minute got the heart pumping, the first being deflected away by the man on the post after a headed glance by Micheal Nuvelis and then Pastor Dentor kicking from the right hand side found the head of Barry Nully but this hit the cross bar way to high!!! But the deflection was kind enough to go to Gunner Sloan who kicked the ball on the volley only to be saved by David Bedford
Diving to his right.
Gunner Sloan being from the North Eastern area of Harlesburg is actually Gunter but the local custom is to use a nickname of their Uncle a rather confusing bussiness for those outside they area.

Starblaydia however were up to the challenge set before the when in the 34th minute they had a good scoring chance through Antonis Kouvas who had been given the space to dribble it up from half way pass it to Captain Georges Blanc before having it returned to him just outside the box where he let fly only to see his shot go a meter to the left of the goal post.

Minutes from the end of the first half in the 42nd minute Durum Rage jumped up high (which was very surprising) from a corner kick and managed to send it directly to Patrick Montmorry who after fumbling once held on as a 3 Starblyadians rushed to get the lose ball.

The score being 1-0 at half time

The second half was even in terms of possesion until the 58th minute when Harlesburg got 3 good chances in the space of 6 minutes Barry Nully shooting from outside the box and being tipped over the goal, Walter Nollie’s head finding the ball but with tooo sharp an angle and so sending it wide and finally Adolf Galatan in the 64th while stuck in the left corner flicked the ball back to Darkness Chubara who sent a cross in to the middle finding Rolston Chambers who dived forward feet first and sent the ball over the top from 8 yards out a wasted opportunity.

77th minute the newly substituted Hans Springbord coming on for Pastor Dentor in an interesting Defender for midfielder swap added a spark which was to seal the game in Harlesburg’s favour.

Hans Springbord off a 1-2 from Darkness Chubara then passed wide to Raymond Nubelier who with a backwards pass found Rietick Callusk who sent it in to the opposite side to lad at the feet of Kyle Donovan subbed on for Gunner Sloan in the 69th who tip-toed around Ricardo Almeida to shot only for David Bedford to parry it away and Adolf Galatan to tap home the loose ball.

A Starblyadian resuurgence occurred in the 85th minute with Juan Valdez and Durum Rage going off for Maivia Von Erich and Marissa Cortez Starblaydia using everyone forward pummeled the Harlesburg box to no avail before Steven Ardentsen cleared it away.

This victory against Starblaydia has to rank as highly as the Cherry Cup XII victory in Ice Hockey and is a confidence booster for the Harlesburg team and goes a good way to erasing the memories of the Starblyadian ‘Under 19’s’ defeat of the Harlesburg ‘Under 21’s and A team 1-0’
Harlesburg‘s little used Red Jerseys might see more game time.

Bookings
Juan Valdez 63rd
Durum Rage 72nd
Gunner Sloan 27th
Barry Nully 64th
Goals
6th Federine Moskinel
77th Adolf Galatan
b]Group 3[/b]

Starblaydia 0 Harlesburg 2
Vuam and Isma 0 Praying2God 1
Georgeonia 2 Gaspland 1

GROUP 3 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Starblaydia 5 4 0 1 8 3 5 12
Praying2God 5 3 1 1 7 2 5 10
Dauna Hills 5 2 2 1 8 6 2 8
Gaspland 6 2 2 2 10 9 1 8
Harlesburg 5 2 1 2 7 9 -2 7
Georgeonia 5 1 0 4 5 10 -5 3
Vuam and Isma 5 1 0 4 3 9 -6 3
MD 1: Praying2God 3 v Harlesburg 0
MD 2: Harlesburg 0 v Gaspland 3
MD 3: HarlesburgBYE
MD 4: Harlesburg 3 v Georgeonia 2
MD 5: Harlesburg1 v Dauna Hills 1
MD 6: Starblaydia 0 v Harlesburg 2
MD 7: Harlesburg v Vuam and Isma

Tynelia

03-05-2006, 15:20

<footage begins live from the Presidential Coliseum where an excited Dana Lee is reporting with a wild mob behind her on the field>

“Hello everyone this is Dana Lee at the site of Tynelia’s biggest victory in their history of international play. The match against Turori has just ended and Tynelia has emerged with a 2-1 victory over the 24th ranked team in the world. As soon as the whistle blew ending the match, fans stormed onto the field to join in the celebration at this huge upset. Security has made many arrests so far and medics have treated a few minor injuries but the crowds are still here. The team briefly joined in the celebration before Coach Tudor and security asked them to leave the field to help the safety of the fans some of whom were injured in the crush to congratulate the players on their win. Wait a minute I think that’s Coach Tudor. Coach a word if I may?”

“Of course Miss Lee, a smashing good match today we’ve had..urk!”

“OH MY! Coach Tudor has just been stabbed by a man who jumped out at him in the crowd. Security has tackled the man and are trying to restrain him but now he’s screaming.”

“ye bloody Brit luvin horses arses! If I dinna show these bloody lazy sods how ta’ play da game there wouldna be any wins fer ya! An’ no one even thanks me fer it. They thank the bloody Brit! I shoulda been the coach ‘ere not some limey!”

“I don’t believe it! Its former coach Seamus Flannigan O’Connell who just attacked Coach Tudor! This is an outrage! Medics have arrived on the scene, the wound doesn’t look serious but is bleeding and O’Connell is being dragged away kicking and screaming. They are calling for an ambulance to take Coach Tudor away. Now some fans have realized what has happened and they’re trying to get to O’Connell, security is stepping back in. Sal over to you its getting dangerous out here!”

<cameras return to the studio>

“I can’t believe O’Connell would do something like that! The players have claimed he was crazy but now its clear to everyone its true. Hopefully the ambulance will be there soon and can stabilize Coach Tudor before he loses too much blood. And on the day Tynelia made its loudest noise yet in world cup play. Our 2-1 win over Turori puts Tynelia back alone in second after Krytenia beat The Lowland Clans by the same score. The other match found Geisenfried and the Algal States playing to a draw. This is Sal Spikeman with Anna Dalespin for Tynelian Soccer Weekly. What a difference a day makes Anna.”

“Yes and so sad that such a petty spiteful man like O’Connell would take away Coach Tudor’s moment of triumph. True qualifications weren’t even half over but this was the first sign that Tynelia may very well be able to advance after all. This will be a huge blow for the team and with a tough match against the Lowland Clans up next you have to wonder if the team will be able to put this behind them enough to concentrate on the match.”

“Very true Anna, even though Tynelia now has a three point edge on both Turori and the Lowland Clans, not to mention Geisenfried with a game in hand, a loss to the Clans along with Turori beating Krytenia and we’re all tied up again. The most interesting scenario is if Tynliea manages to pull off a second straight upset and Turori loses. That would put Tynelia 6 points ahead of third place at the halfway point with the easy part of the schedule coming up. But will the players be able to focus on the Clans and not be thinking of their Coach? ”

“Indeed, however, this time Tynelia would not be at home against the Clans and so will have a disadvantage there. Realistically, all Tynelia has to do is come away with a draw and they’ll maintain their hold on second place no matter what happens. But now they will need a temporary coach to come up with a gameplan for the match and I’m not sure who will be there to answer the call.”

“We’ll try and get everyone an update on Coach Tudor’s condition before the end of our broadcast. But now we have to do our jobs here and that’s going over the match itself. The visitors came in ready to play hoping to put the overachieving Tynelian team back in its place and started out aggressively. This paid off at the 21 minute mark when a hot shot was fired past Amy Whiteworth to give Turori a 1-0 early lead. This seemed to wake the home team up who began mounting some pressure of their own which ended with the Tynelian league teammates of Brian Kenders and Jay Masterson combined for Masterson’s third goal of group play at the 40 minute mark which sent the game to a 1-1 tie at the half.

“The second half was back and forth though Turori came out a bit more cautiously possibly thinking about the old adage of playing for a draw on the road and the win at home. It seems Coach Tudor was definitely thinking along those lines when he sent Troy Wallace in for Anya Collins and Andy Martins for Jeff Leason to go with a more experienced attacking group for the final twenty minutes of play. The move paid off as Wallace lived up to his title of the ‘Duke of Deke’ as he faked a pass to Masterson causing the defender to flinch which was all the time he needed to drive past and fire in the game winner just off the keeper’s fingertips at the 77 minute mark. Turori stepped up the attack the rest of the game trying to get the equalizer but could not break thgough giving Tynelia its first ever win against a top 50 team.

“Both sides were not too shy about taking shots Turori held a 17-16 edge in total shots while Tynelia actually snuck by with a 5-4 edge in quality attempts. Time of possession was for all intents and purposes dead even but Tynelia had the most important edge and that was on the scoreboard.”

“That’s right Sal, this takes a huge weight off the shoulders of the Tynelian squad now that the growing monkey on their backs has finally been tossed aside. I must also say that even though he’s no longer coaching the team our colleague Marcus O’Meara had it down perfectly two matches ago when he said that Tynelia’s breakthrough would come against Turori. He still knows his former players better than we do.”

“Indeed he does and now let’s go to the Coach’s Corner where our psychic is holding court.”

“Thanks Sal, but its just a matter of watching these teams and seeing a vulnerability, Turori had one and it was just a matter of if the team could exploit it on the field which they did. But before I go any further let me express my own hopes that Coach Tudor makes a speedy recovery from that cowardly attack. Makes me ashamed to be Irish let me tell you. Now as callous as this sounds, the players must ignore what happened here and concentrate on their next match. A loss, especially by a large difference to the Lowland Clans and everything this win gained them will go out the window as goal differential is very tight still. They can’t afford to let up for any reason and hopefully whoever will be filling in for Coach Tudor can make them understand that.”

<phone on O’Meara’s desk rings>

“What? He is? Great! What? Me!?! Are you sure? Yes yes of course I will, thank you.”

<hangs up>

“Well Sal that was the Tynelian Soccer Commission. They’ve assured me and wanted me to pass along that Coach Tudor will survive, the knife only grazed his liver and missed the rest of his vitals but had lost a lot of blood which was the main concern. He will remain in the hospital for observation but he’s out of immediate danger. And, they asked me to fill in for him until he’s ready to come back. I told them yes, so if you’ll excuse me Sal and Anna, I need to get ready to head to the Lowlands.”

“Yes of course Coach O’Meara, its extremely relieving to hear Coach Tudor will recover and I’m sure the squad will be happy to have such an experienced replacement ready to step back onto the field. Good luck Coach. Well the team should be in good hands I’d say Anna.”

“I’m sure they will be, Coach O’Meara is clearly the best choice to stand in for Coach Tudor, he’s the only other person in the country who’s ever coached in World Cup play and so he’s the only one who won’t be overwhelmed by the experience. Plus he coached most of these players in the last Cup so he’s familiar with both them and their styles. With Coach Tudor also using a defensive style of play Coach O’Meara will be able to ease back into things fairly smoothly.”

“Ok then Anna, its prediction time. How will Coach O’Meara’s return affect Tynelia’s chances against the Lowland Clans? And can our new best friends Krytenia help us again this time by beating Turori?”

“Even before the attack, I thought this would be a tough match for Tynelia since the Lowland Clans are at home and would be needing a win to keep their hopes alive unless Tynelia and Turori ended in a draw. Now its even more important to them seeing how Tynelia came out on top. While they could probably count on Krytenia to beat Turori to help them keep pace, they now find themselves in a spot where a loss puts them six points out of second and possibly even trailing Turori depending on that match. Tynelia’s scoring has also been inconsistent 1-0-2-0-2 while the Clans are coming off a one goal performance. I think the Clans will bounce back at home and come away with a 3-1 win. The game means much more to them than us in this particular case.

“As for the other two matches I think Turori may find themselves in some trouble against Krytenia. Turori has yet to really get things going and since their opening day draw Krytenia has been handling everyone that comes at them. I think the trend will continue until Turori proves otherwise and Krytenia will come out on top 2-0. As for the battle for the cellar between the Algal States and Talmeria, the Algals have shown more life than Talmeria even though they managed a draw against us. I think the Algals will come out on top in a low scoring affair 1-0.”

“OK then Anna, at least after this match Tynelia will get to face both the Algal States and Talmeria at home when the second half begins before a tricky outing against Geisenfried on the road to finish off its group play against the teams ranked below us. This again could potentially be a nice run for us. As you said before this started, Tynelia needs to win all three of these matches to have a chance of moving on after getting a draw against Talmeria the first time around. A win against the Clans would take some of the pressure off these three matches though as a sweep might not be required after all.

“But now its time for ‘Harmonie’s Hearsay’ with our own Harmonie Masterson.”

<camera switches over to Harmonie who has her head buried in her arms crying on the table>

“Poor Coach Tudor!” <cries> he was so nice and even let Jaykins start <cries some more> and was doing so good <continues crying> its horrible!”

<camera stays on her for several awkward moments before cutting back to Sal and Anna>

“Well it seems Harmonie is still very distraught over the heinous attack on Coach Tudor and won’t be able to give her report today. But with the very welcome news that he’s recovering I’m sure she’ll be ready to go for our next program. So until then when we return right after the Tynelia/Lowland Clans match concludes this is Sal Spikeman for Anna Dalespin wishing everyone a good night and most especially wishing Coach Greg Tudor a speedy recovery from tonight’s attack.”

New-Lexington

03-05-2006, 15:41

Kings Gear Up fro Magnius Valerius
After a day off, New-Lexignton is ready for Magnius Valerius in an important match. The Kings need this win very badly as we cannot afford to fall to 1-3-2. No lineup changes are to be made, however after Monday's 3-1 loss coach Chris Fryland says there will be a greater focus on stopping the ball from getting into the middle of the field. Go Kings!!!

Lisburn Mateys

03-05-2006, 16:04

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
Spotlight on the Defence

The defence on average is the oldest part of the Squad with an average age of 29.
Marvin Andrews stands out above the rest as a quality player playing for Blackwater in LiverpoolEngland completing a transfer last season after winning 3 Primerio Liga's in a row with Lisburn Distillery.

There is a surprise selection choice in Jonathon Bell who has endured a disasterous season with Lower Maze, who after moving into the new national stadium finished in a disgraceful ninth place in the Primerio Liga, with Jonathon being injured for most of the season with a broken leg. Manager Paul Kirk said he was happy with the performance Jonathon put in for Lower Maze at the end of the season playing in 6 of the 18 games this season, and interestingly Lower Maze didnt lose a single game in which he played.

Was called up to the full squad as he is current young player of the year in Lisburn. Grappenhall right back Chuck Gonzalo is reported to be very annoyed at the decision for Stewert to start as he thought he was quarenteed a place on the starting 11 but Stewerts pace, technique , and tough tackling puts him head and shoulders above Chuck.

Holding the defence and squad together is 31 year old captain David Armstrong. Has won six Primerio Liga titles one with Lisburn Youth and 5 with Lisburn Distillery and has seen nearly everything football has to offer. Doesnt run up the line as much as he did in his younger days but still likes to cross from deep positions and his ability to read the game and players makes sure that cocky wingers rarly break past him. Andrew Stewert even declared " it is an honour to play with one of my idles, David is one of the players as i child that i hope to emmulate one day and is a true national hero"

In other news the Mateys slipped to third place after haveing matchday 6 off. Top seeds Sarzonia are currently leading the way and Milchama are second, but with just under halfway to go it can all change.

Today Mateys striker Amusi Akobyi was rulled out until at least matchday eight with a swollen knee, and also it was reported that Dominic Patton trained with the Squad in Hillsborough and will start the next game.

Haraki

03-05-2006, 16:10

The Hawks were fresh from several weeks of playing football at their home field in Atherlon. First their exhibition game against the Arkia Serpents on Matchday Four, was won 2-1 in an edgy game. An Arkian forward managed to get a goal off early in the game, but Richard Weber tied it up just before half and a series of passes and an eventual shot by Samuel Sharp into an all-but empty net gave the Hawks the game in the seventieth minute.

Next up was a home game against Hockey Canada, the number one seed in the group and the team holding the number one slot. Haraki played a good game. A goal in the thirty-second minute by a Hockey Canadian forward gave them a lead heading into half, but the Hawks were determined to make it up. However, just after half a slip up by defender Sandy Thorpe let the same forward through to score another goal on Mark Stone.

The Hawks, determined to make a comeback and win the game, with thirty-five minutes left on the clock, managed to capitalize on an offensive overlap twelve minutes from the end with a goal by Richard Weber, and despite high tensions in the air for the ending minutes of the game, the Hawks were unable to make another goal to win it.

Haraki 1 - Hockey Canada 2

(32) Forward 'A'
(48) Forward 'A'
Weber (78)

But the Hawks next game would not be as disastrous. After a week of non-stop practising in Atherlon, the Hawks prepared to face number two seed and Baptism of Fire hosts The Kazoo Peoples. It was their last in a month-long series of games at home, starting with a 3-0 loss to Iksonic, moving on to a 2-1 win over the Arkia Serpents, to a 2-1 loss to Hockey Canada, and now on to what coach Lloyd Vargas was hoping would be a win for Haraki, to keep them in the running.

The game started with Haraki's kickoff, and they used it to great advantage to pull off an early lead at only six minutes in as Richard Weber used his young vigour and energy to sprint off on a breakaway, in theory supported by Samuel Sharp on his left flank. However, Weber was all that was needed to pull his weight in and unleash a goal in the first few minutes for an early Harakian lead.

The rest of the half carried on in the Kazoo Peoples' end, although they had posession for a significant portion of the time. They seemed to have trouble getting the ball down the field, with Haraki's midfields covering them everywhere, and instead it stayed in their end until Harakian players could steal it and go for goal. But the half ended with Haraki up only 1-0, and it seemed if the Kazoos got their offense into order, they could come back and win it, with an entire half to go.

On half, Vargas ranted and raved about one goal being nothing and ended up punching a wall to illustrate his point. He was shouting about more goals and seemed more furious than anything else. He finished his speech with the words "Attendance is the lowest it's been in a month of playing at home! And you know why that is? Because we've been playing like shit this last month, and nobody wants to see us lose again! We've got a goal, now let's get out there and make some more!"

With the second half kickoff going to the Kazoos, they finally managed to bring an offensive drive up to Haraki's goal, but a shot was saved by Mark Stone, rebounded off a kicked-out leg, and another Kazooian player winding up for a shot had the ball taken from him by defenceman Jonah Menike, who made a pass up the field to Julie Vern. She immediately advanced it down the field in conjunction with Thomas Neils, in time for Neils to make a goal at fifty-four minutes.

The Hawks still seemed to be speeding up their game, though, and as the play continued and the Kazoos got tired, the Hawks seemed to get better and better at controlling the ball, eventually leading to a goal by Manuel Cortes at eighty minutes, just to put the game fully out of reach. The game ended and Haraki had recorded a comfortable victory for the end of their playing at home for the first rotation. The Hawks travel to Yafor 2 next week before coming back to home to play Nouvelle Angleterre and Alasdair I Frosticus again.

Haraki 3 - The Kazoo Peoples 0

Weber (6)
Neils (54)
Cortes (80)

Ariddia

03-05-2006, 16:19

Ariddians take a beating

Away in Rejistania for what was expected to be the most difficult match of all, the Ariddians. . . got thrashed. The 1-4 score line, in fact, may well have startled and even disturbed Rejistanians used to seeing their team playing defensively. Neglecting their own defence, the Rouge-et-Noirs focused on attack, with ultimately predictable results.

“It was more or less a no-win scenario, and we were well aware of that,” Adam Seul explained. “Their defence is rock-solid, and we needed to put our every effort into breaking through it. Which meant loosening our defence. The only other alternative would have been to try for a goalless draw, but our lads and girls aren’t used to doing that, and switching tactics against a difficult opponent would have proved disastrous.”

Ariddia’s sole goal of the match was the work of Frédéric Clément, backed by his captain Ue Alt. Also notable was Hanifah Kyaw being sent off in the fity-ninth minute after accidentally stepping on the ankle of a downed Rejistanian. Her opponent was not seriously hurt, but the twenty-year-old star may well be suspended for the next two matches.

Rordia

03-05-2006, 16:26

RORDIA - DESTINATION NMS
Part 6: This Is Not An April Fool's Joke...

RORDIA HAVE BEATEN BEDISTAN 2-0 IN THEIR OWN BACK YARD!
In the greatest day in Rordian football history, our boys defeated the world's number 1 team by two goals to nil! Ciaran Mirren's free-kick in the 40th minute set the ball rolling, with Andy Parkinson adding a second in the 53rd. When the final whistle blew, all of the away fans ran onto the pitch to congratulate their triumphant players.
Rordia manager Sir Neil van der Wal said: "I'm absolutely gobsmacked! We've travelled to Bedistan, the current world champions, and we've beaten them 2-0! This is something that I could never have dreamed of, but I had faith in my players. In the dressing room before the match, I only said one word to them. Tadjikistan. That sent their determination levels through the roof."
Despite this magnificent win, it wasn't a perfect day for Rordia. Striker Freddie Monaghan tripped over while going into the tunnel at half-time. Monaghan broke his leg and won't play again until the penultimate match of the qualifying campaign. That's another case of Rordian leg flu to add to the list (it is now well over 60).
National newspapers had headlines like: "AN APOLOGY: WE DID NOT LOSE 2-0, WE WON 5-0!" and "BEDISTAN SURRENDER! RORDIA RULE!". We definitely do.

LINE-UP: O'Leary; Craig, Robertson, Harrold, Davidson (Khan); Mirren, Vance, van der Wal, Parkinson; Brick, Monaghan (Hartnell). Booked: Parkinson.

OTHER RESULTS:
Anathematic Republics 2 Hypocria 1
Nebuleux 0 Virginia Nova 2

RORDIA PLAYER PROFILES - PART 3:
Andy Parkinson
Age: 23. Position: Centre-midfield. Club: Rordic City Reds.
Andy Parkinson is now famous for the winner in that match against Bedistan. Before then, the only thing he was known for was being a regular in referee's notebooks. He has picked up five red cards in his career and already has six yellows to his name this season alone. His disciplinary record for Rordia is much better than his record for the Reds. Neil van der Wal once threatened to knock him out if he got sent off for Rordia again.
Samuel Craig
Age: 24. Position: Left-back. Club: New Guernsey.
Samuel Craig only became Rordia's first-choice left-back when Nat Dawkins was forced to retire in the middle of World Cup 27. Craig has since made the spot his own, despite the odd mistake. With New Guernsey, his performances have not been enough to take his team off the league's bottom half. At the moment, he is more famous for his one-night stands than his football. He also used to date Rordettes (Rordia Ladies team) star Hayleigh Parker.

BONAREV GIVEN ULTIMATUM
The Rordian FA have ruled that Aleks Bonarev cannot play for the national team.
The FA chiefs decided unanimously that Bonarev is not eligible for the Rordian team. They have also told him that if he continues to state that he wants to play for them, he will be deported.
Foreign defender Bonarev refused to give in, saying: "They total morons. They not let me play for Rordia. I will get in team, one way or another. And I won't leave Rordia. This my home. I hate it in home country."
Rordia boss Sir Neil van der Wal said: "Aleks Bonarev should learn to speak proper English. And he should learn when it's best not to speak at all."

Northern Caesarea

03-05-2006, 17:35

Atheistic Right 0 Northern Caesarea 1 (Narváez, m.76)

1. Cuéllar 0
2. Ferrer ****
4. Capdevilla *****
15. Molinero ****
22. Ibañez *****

24. Novo **
20. Gabi *
8. Ibagaza *** => 13. Caminero (m.88)
6. Colsa **

7. Narváez ****
17. Maragall **

Booked:

Cuéllar, Capdevilla

After five consecutives draws, Northern Caesarea national team has won its first match in WC28 against Atheistic Right, a rather weird team which has proven why it is the last in Group 13.

The match begun badly for the tricolores. A shot by A.R. striker "Hawk" (m.10) finished in Northern Caesarea after a gaffe of NC goalie, Cuéllar. Luckily, the referee annuled the goal because the player was in a very doubtful offside. A few minutes later, Hawk surprised again NC defense and Cuéllar, who was totally out of his place, but shooted too high.

These were the only danger moments for the Tricolores. The defense, leaded by Capdevilla and Ibañez didn't let AR stikers go too near the goal.

The rest of the match was "tricolore". Although the midfield was again the weakness of the team, Narvaéz did a great match. Unfortunadely, Maragall wasn't too wise in his shoots.

AR resisted until minute 76, when Ibagaza made a magical pass to Narváez, who scored a beautiful goal with a "chilena" kick.

After the goal, NC adopted its most defensive style until the end of the match.

Cuation

03-05-2006, 17:54

Norris Boxing Match?

Chad Morris managed to offend a lot of people in Cuation but his insult of the CNN may put him into trouble. When told of Fighting Norris offer, he was somewhat confused.

"Boxing? That is hardly noble and I will not fight such ruffians. They what? Oh? What in Jarrbawaki is a seize-burn? Cuation press must speak freely against such evils as the CNN and I will ensure they do."

Manager Jude looked somewhat amused at the idea. "They want both sides to stop the fighting? I'm guessing that is what they meant, I agree with them on that and will order such. I'm more interested in the boxing idea, Rat Face can be our champion and if he loses, which he will, I can have him sacked. Go on CNN, issue the challenge!"

Squornshelous Unable to Overcome Cuation

Despite a close 4-3 defeat away to Bettia, many fans travelled in fear of a heavy drubbing. The old Cuation was able to pull of upsets but with this side, it seems that it is not able to spur itself into a magical moment but has gained a ruthless streak so far in this group. The first team returned to the team despite some good performances by the reserves in the last match.

It has to be said the home team's kit is horrible while Cuation's dark blue kit did us proud. From the kick off the Squornshelan team put Gary Jens goal under pressure, Syvatov shooting wide in the first minute. The attacking play was too narrow and allowed Cuation to go in hard with Ashton and Milnar often drifting inside to help close the situation down.

Cuation's own attacks came with Giovanni dropping deep and playing the ball out wide for Rual, Butcher or Cole. Slight problem was the lack of height in the box so it often ended up with the player on the ball trying to cut inside.

After a string of fantastic saves, Gary Jens was beaten in the 25th minute. A fine passing move with Xenakis at the heart of it, the ball was played sideways by the playmaker. Sitting up perfectly to be struck, Harris struck the ball into the far top corner, Gary Jens left with no chance of stopping this one.

Cuation soon had their first real chance, Rual Mendiz getting away from his marker but his shot under pressure went well wide. As Cuation where under pressure for the rest of the half, it was a surprise that it was 1-1 in the 45th minute. Giovanni wandered forward on the left flank and then curled in a cross that turned into a shot. Beemen pushed it over the bar, doing well to adjust to the change of flight.

Ashton drilled in the corner from the right, Rual and Kaizers both got a touch before Roy Ferguson hit it on the half volley from six yards. Hit with power rather then any degree of accuracy, the keeper hadn't even moved before the back of the net broke.

In the second half, Cuation where again under the immense pressure, Gary Jens saving one on one with Kamaka three times. The Squornshelan had been unlucky but must have felt he would score in the 63rd minute. Gary Jens raced off his line for a long ball but dropped it at the surprised feet of Yan. Kamaka took advantage, dashing past the keeper and shooting. Jamie Hargreves denied him with a brilliant one handed save.

Slight problem being that Hargreves is a defender. The ref reached inside his pocket and produced a red card despite the protests of his team mates. Up stepped playmaker Xenakis to take this set play. Gary Jens dived to his right and found the ball chipped down in the middle, cool as you like.

2-1 down and 10 men down, it seemed Cuation where out. Many expected Giovanni to be replaced for Cheese but instead off came Ashton, Giovanni taking the winger role while Cheese slotted in alongside Yan. The standard of defending improved though Cheese lack of experience did show at times.

Gary Jens was still on top but times was winding down when Cuation made it 2-2 in the 87th minute. Cole took the ball out of defence and spotted Rual's run. A long pass forward fell short, Rual stretching to receive it then turning into the box before being brought down by Kaizers with a late, but innocent challenge.

Cuation sent penalty, the home fans a free kick. TV suggests it was just outside the box and that Benson was going to be next in Rual's way. The ref pointed to the spot and sent off poor Kaizer. The game was halted as both sides threatened to spill into fighting over the poor performance of the ref.

Hot shot Rual faced a quality keeper in Beeman but even Gary Jens at his peak could not have saved the resulting shot. Top corner, placed beyond the grasp of any goalie. 2-2 and Cuation had gained an undeserved point. The home team attacked but found a resolute team defending for their lives and a vital point.

Scorers for Cuation
Mendiz: 4
Giovanni: 1
Tanner: 1
Keane: 2
Ashton: 1
Milnar: 1
Ferguson: 1
Anderton: 1

Casari

03-05-2006, 18:51

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

Getting back on the horse
Rather definate win over Nanakaland shows previous loss was just a little slip-up

Matchday 6 comes and goes to finally see Commerce Heights and Casari more than a few tiebreakers deep in seeing who will top group 14.

A confident match against Nanakaland, with great performances from both William in goal and the whole front end of the Casaran lines left the result of the match in no question. A quick 6th minute goal by Roe showed that Casari had shown up to play, and Roe's second, along with goals from Larini and Livingston put the game far beyond question by the 60th minute.

The final match in the first half will be home against group #2 Commerce Heights in a match that will see the top of the table be decided. Until then, there's going to be a lot of gloating and inflated opinions in Casari tonight.

Boudra-Boudra

03-05-2006, 18:58

Boudra-Boudra vs Philthealbino

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/boudra-boudra.jpg vs http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/philthealbino.jpg

Flagsize does not say all
Boudra-Boudra finally wins at home

With Boudra-Boudra playing at home against an unranked team, who have yet to score their first goal and point, one would think that the match would be easily won by the hometeam. This did not prove to be the case however as it was the team from the nation where no spaces between words are allowed, Philthealbino, that scored the opening goal after 47 minutes through "playerX" after poor defending by Simon Samuelsson. The team from Philthealbino was quite unknown with the event of 'scoring a goal' as their forwards stumbled to the center of the field to take the kick off, before realising it was their own team that had scored. Meanwhile the Boudran players were completely confused as this match was supposed to be a 'walk in the park' and now they were suddenly behind, at home, against a team that had never scored before. However it all turned out good as Sosimo Bradkorb scored the equaliser after 72 minutes and his team was looking to be on the road for an easy victory as the poor stamina level from most of the Philthealbino players was making them suffer from the warm weather. That and the fact they had about 95% possession during the second half. With only five minutes to go, after hitting the framework a few times already, Coach Linus Gunfi-Pok played one of his best cards he had left as he brought Andris Zdelizj, first ever goalscorer for Boudra-Boudra who is regaining fitness and matchrhythm after returning from his injury, in for midfielder Torsten Oppt-Sjlook, hereby changing the formation to 3-3-4. Precisely Zdelizj was the man that scored two minutes into injury time as he kicked in the ball through a see of legs when it had drifted in from a corner kick. With this, Boudra-Boudra scored three absolutely vital points and will have to do so again against their next opponent, Rorysville.

The score in the end:
Boudra-Boudra 2 - 1 Philthealbino

0-1 playerX '47
1-1 Sosimo Bradkorb '72
2-1 Andris Zdelizj '90+2

The Boudran lineup:

Goalkeeper:
- Ohène Strok'pah

Defenders:
- Simon Samuelsson (off, 54 mins)
- Hanz Buyakasha (captain)
- Indridi-Ptô Burns

Midfielders:
- Rikke Gallucio
- Bernardino Maria Eduardo Garcia de la Col Delgado
- Torsten Oppt-Sjlook (off, 85 mins)
- Njjik Rahlii

Forwards:
- Arintz Efefefe-Ijlf (off, 69 mins)
- Sosimo Bradkorb
- Malimbo Tar

Replacements:
- Mikko Piminio (For, 69 mins)
- Andris Zdelizj (For, 85 mins)
- Rintje Jacobus-Fredriksson (Def, 54 mins)

Goalscorers for Boudra-Boudra during WC28Q:
2: Sosimo Bradkorb and Arintz Efefefe-Ijlf
1: Njjik Rahlii, Malimbo Tar and Andris Zdelizj.

Other MD6 Results in Group 7
Jeruselem 0-2 Kericia
Becquerelia 0-1 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

The WCQ Schedule for Boudra-Boudra:
Matchday 1: Boudra-Boudra - Becquerelia lost 0-1
Matchday 2: Boudra-Boudra - Jeruselem lost 0-2
Matchday 3: Andossa Se Mitrin Vega - Boudra-Boudra won 1-2
Matchday 4: Kericia - Boudra-Boudra won 2-3
Matchday 5: Bye
Matchday 6: Boudra-Boudra - Philthealbino won 2-1
Matchday 7: Boudra-Boudra - Rorysville
Matchday 8: Becquerelia - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 9: Jeruselem - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 10: Boudra-Boudra - Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Matchday 11: Boudra-Boudra - Kericia
Matchday 12: Bye
Matchday 13: Philthealbino - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 14: Rorysville - Boudra-Boudra

Schiavonia

03-05-2006, 19:34

The Schiavone Scribe
WHAT KELSE COULD GO WRONG?
Kelse 1-1 Schiavonia

There are two ways to look at Schiavonia's current run. There's the one that the rest of the world would take. The one that says, "how is it that, after playing all the lower ranked teams in the group, Schiavonia sit in only fourth position with only seven points? Outrageous!"

With this being the first blip in Schiavonia's short international history, you would think that this would be exactly how they'd see it. But you'd be wrong.

The Schiaovne way is the eternally optimistic way. For starters, look at the group table. We're only two points off second place. We could be in it if we beat Oliverry.

And it's not as if we've been at it that long anyway. This is only our third cup. So what if we don't make it? Maybe it'll make up for the other two we battered the opposition in through qualifying against all the odds.

Despite it not being the best of games, the Schiavone party carried on as usual. Even when Smith put through his own net, they didn't care. When Sanderson equalised, they went crazy!

And so, another point, with group leaders Oliverry next up. To all those outside Schiavonia who think their teams are underperforming, a message from the Schiavone fans in the stadium.

"YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ALL... BUT ENJOY WHAT YOU GET!"

Final score
Kelse 1 (Smith og 7)
Schiavonia 1 (Sanderson 72)

Squornshelous

03-05-2006, 19:34

Match Report Backlog

Reports for Matchdays 2-6 upcoming
Following the completion of the Squornshelan press exams, we wil finally have reports on all of Squornshelous' matches thus far.

Matchday Two: Mr. Chuck Norris 0-2 Squornshelous
Squornshelous opened up their qualifying campaign away against a team that showed a penchant for upsets in world cup 27 qualifying, but were unruffled. Although the Fighting Norris were able to hold off the Pschychoes for most of the match, quite surprising given the attacking style both teams play with, Squornshelous formation did something to keep their opponents of balance, and eventually the home side became fatigued. After subbing in cup veteran Josef Karlson for the young midfielder Oleg Petrov in the 70th minute, Squornshelous began to press the attack. The three defenders back for the Norris were nowhere near up to the task of stopping the Pschychoes, and Vasili Petrov finally opened the scoring in the 72nd. Following this, a frantic and futile counterattack was launched by the home team, and while several shots were close to the mark, they once again overextended themselves and Petrov made them pay with his second goal, sealing it in the 88th.

Matchday Three: Squornshelous 3-0 Burning Penguins
Squornshelous continued to assert themselves by absolutely destroying a visiting side that was simply not up to the challenge and knew it. Burning Penguins never looked like they had control of the match, and seemed to be playing not to lose too badly. It was fairly easy, then, for the Squornshelan defense to thwart their attacks and funnel the ball back up to the midfield and forwards. Iannis Xenakis scored his first goal of qualifying in the 22nd to open things up, and if anything, the Penguins pulled further into their shell. Their keeper, Blas Baneulos, was constantly bombarded by shots, both long and short range, and in the 35th, he conceded again, with Vasili Petrov notching his thrid goal. At halftime, Squornshelous made and adjustment to a slightly more defensive style, but Goran Syvatov was still able to score with 15 minutes left to put the match beyond all doubt.

Matchday Four: Slakaj 1-2 Squornshelous
Squornshelous faced a bit of a challenge away at a scrappy, young team from Slakaj, but they managed to prevail. Slakaj gave the Pschychoes a little scare when they put the first goal of the math past Ronald Beeman in the 15th minute. But the defense soon toughened up, and that was just about the last Beeman saw of the ball. Now it was Slakaj's turn to guard their goal, as the Red and Black Attack pummeled their keeper with shot after shot, most coming from our trio of talented forwards. Eventually, the law of averages played in our favor, and Jeff Harris's shot from the corner of the box beat the keeper for the equalizer just before halftime. Squornshelous continued to play very aggressively in the second, and at 60 minutes, they were rewarded by Iannis Xenakis, who notched his second goal of qualifying by cleanly beating the center back and chipping the keeper from 10 meters out. While the Pschychoes continued to shoot throughout the rest of the match, good goalkeeping and a bit of bad luck kept the score at 2-1. Goran Syvatov saw his 78th minute shot ring just off the wrong side of the post, and Vasili Petrov sent two that sailed inches over the bar. Jeff Harris last minute attempt for a second goal was foiled by the keeper, and as his kick reached midfield the final whistle sounded.

Matchday Five: Five Civilized Nations 1-1 Squornshelous
A major lapse in concentration, as well as a few of the first team players being rested resultedin this hiccup. Squornshelous' one goal was scored by 18 year old forward Igor Khabarov, who played in place of Israel Kamaka. The match was a bit sloppy, with many of the younger players, such as Khabarov, and midfielders Janne Aalto and Ivan Benelli, a little unused to playing with each other, or at this level. A misshandled ball by Benelli in midfield gave FCN their chance, and (forward) was able to beat Joseph Kaizers for an open shot on net, which he could hardly miss. Kaizers toughened up later in the game, and denied a similar scoring chance with a much disputed but very clearly legal slide tackle. However, Squornshelous was unable to move the ball out of midfield much, and the math ended before another true scoring chance could be taken by either side.

Matchday Six: Squornshelous 2-2 Cuation
Squornshelous split points for the second matchday running with a tough home match against Cuation. Squornshelous was able to open up the scoring with a superb shot by Jeff Harris that ended up in the top corner and left Cuation's keeper, Gary Jens standing. However, Cuation struck back just before the half. Ronald Beeman pushed a long shot from the outside from Giovanni over the bar, and the resulting corner, after bouncing off a couple of players, came to Roy Ferguson. Ferguson didn't think twice and played the ball into the net before anyone knew what was happening.

The second half saw more and more Squornshelan attacks foiled by the superb play of Gary Jens. Israel Kamaka in particular was repeatedly foiled in one-on-one situations, but Vasili Petrov, who was unusually quiet this match, was also stopped on a beautiful shot across the keeper which Jens knocked just wide. Jens also made an amazing reflex save on the resulting corner, when Goran Syvatov sent a perfect header just to Jens's left. However, it appeared that Kamaka had finally beaten Jens when, in the 63rd, stealing a long ball with a funny backspin from defender Yan, who hadn't even been expecting the ball. He quickly made a move and was past Jens, however, his shot was knoked away by a diving Hargreaves. In an instant, the entire crowd was on their feet, outraged that someone would even think of such a ridiculous and obvious foul.

After receiving his red card, Hargreaves was pelted with half-eaten food, empty (or sometimes full) beer cups and various other garbage on his way to the dressing room. With Petrov playing poorly, Iannis Xenakis stepped forward to take the penalty. Xenakis, just 24 years old, showed his poise and experience when, instead of firing toward the coner, which Jens had anticipated, he calmly chipped the ball straight into the middle of the net for the go ahead goal.

As the match wore down, the crowd was on their feet. It hardly gets more fun and exciting than watching your team up by one with just three minutes before stoppage time. Except for this time. A long pass forward from the Cuation midfield found Rual, who then turned into the box, and right into Joseph Kaizers, who was already sliding in to knock away the ball. Rual went down and the whistle sounded. In the resulting argument, two cards were issued, one red to Kaizers for a "tackle from behind" and one yellow to Otto Benson for dissent. Kaizers was sent off and Vasili Petrov was switched out for defenseman Darryl Benitez. However, it hardly mattered, as Rual put the ball past Beeman with ease, burrying it in the top corner. With only a few inutes left, and both teams down one man, the Pschychoes couldn't muster enough of an attack to get back ahead, and the match ended a draw.

As the players and referees made their way off the field, the fans within range enthusiatically threw any remaining garbage at the allegedly officiating team. One particularly well aimed toss splattered half a cheeseburger over the back of the allegedly South Ossettian refferee's head.

Dance 2 Revolution

03-05-2006, 21:09

And it's matchday 6!

Change of manager a hell of a difference?

Ever since Dance 2 Revolution announced the appointment of Gavrj Taqin, 41, as the new Revolutionarian manager, the D2R team have been like a house on fire, having their best start to a world cup since World Cup 19, in which D2R were ranked 1st, playing football reminiscent of the team in which legend Naoki Maeda skippered.

Maeda spoke about the appointment of the 41 year old Progressan:

I am happy with his [Taqin's] appointment as the new manager, although I am sure there will be complaints about the fact that he is not D2R in nationality, especially as we were drawn against Kaze Progressa in the groups of this cup, he is very much D2R at heart and will continue to do a professional job against his own country. I am happy to see that he has gelled well with the players and started at his post very well. I am ecstatic to see Dance 2 Revolution play with the same quality and flair as they did in my playing days and that our ascent to our former greatness can continue. I can also confirm that I am still involved with the D2R national team, working with the younger players.

After 5 matches D2R find themselves unbeaten and topping a group which had thought to be easily Liverpool England's. In this run Dance 2 Revolution have already beaten 2 of the big names of the group, a 2-1 (hehe) win over 2nd ranked Liverpool England and another 2-1 victory over Vilita.

Gavrj Taqin had this to say:

I am extremely happy about landing the D2R job, and the way that the team has fought so far during the campaign, and I will be trying my very hardest to continue the excellent form as of late. Hopefully the end of the campaign will not be an anti-climax of form to drop us into the Cup of Harmony for a third cup running. I would also like to state, in regards to Kaze Progressa, that I am a professional and, although I wish Kaze Progressa the best, there is no way that I am prepared to lay down my team so that they can go ahead. I took this job to win and not just win when it is appropriate. I will restore D2R to the glory they had when I was young, and I guarantee that.

Dance 2 Revolution prepare to face Kaze Progressa in the final match of this half of qualification. Amazingly, against all odds this is a top of the table clash with both teams coming into this match full of confidence. D2R have the historical advantage. Also, the appointment of a Progressan as D2R manager could be a double edged sword, with Taqin either being fond of his opponents, or highly aware of their tactics and knowing the best way to punish.

Table after 6 match days:

GROUP 2 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
D2R 5 4 1 0 12 6 7 13
Kaze Progressa 5 3 1 1 7 6 1 10
Liv. England 5 2 1 2 12 8 4 7
Dorian&Sonya 5 2 1 2 6 9 -3 7
Homieville 6 1 2 3 8 11 -3 5
Vilita 5 1 1 3 9 8 1 4
Rosberg 5 1 1 3 5 11 -6 4

Fixtures:

MD1: @ Dorian and Sonya (4-2 W)
MD2: @ Rosberg (1-1 D)
MD3: vs. Homieville (3-1 W)
MD4: Bye
MD5: vs. Liverpool England (2-1 W)
MD6: vs. Vilita (2-1 W)
MD7: @ Kaze Progressa

Tinsuvilia

03-05-2006, 21:46

Sturmkrieger Take 2nd!

A win against CR' Scopes (#93 KPB) today pushed the Tinsuvilia Sturmkrieger into second place in Group 9, finally putting them into qualifying position.

The 3-2 win against the favored 'Scopes came with a wonderful hattrick by thusfar unscoring midfielder Aaron Kingsley, who singlehandedly beat the 'Scopes keeper three times, twice while beating multiple defenders.

The win, going into a bye, is a mixed blessing. The Sturmkrieger end their first half of qualifying on a high note, but tomorrow's matches are almost certain to level the playing field for the rest of the group, evicting Tinsuvilia from it's hard earned #2.

Tinsuvilia
3 (Kingsley 18, 44, 67)
CR 'Scopes
2 (Ritz 26, Drayton 87)

From The Tinsuvilia Times

Sarzonia

03-05-2006, 22:22

Ryan Calvin

Woodstock Daily Mail
Stars age Wilson fast this time around

3 MAY 2006 -- It's enough to give a head coach a heart attack. Or a migrane.

For Sarzonia national team coach Dave Wilson, seeing his Stars team concede twice to Giant Zucchini after coughing up only one goal in the four previous matches was enough to make the coach look like he'd just taken too much medication. Even though Sarzonia came out the winners, 3-2 in the first meeting between the teams since Sarzonia put five goals past Giant Zucchini's defence without reply back in the Bryan Marshall era, Wilson's first time facing the Zucchinis wasn't one he'd like to remember.

"That team played with a lot of heart," Wilson said. "They played like they were trying to avenge 5-0. Whether they were or not, I have no way of knowing. But we had a tough go of it against those lads."

Wilson has not made any public announcements about his future plans with the Stars, but sources familiar with his thinking say he's leaning toward retirement from football after World Cup XXVIII is done. However, the source also cautioned that Wilson "wants to go out on a positive note."

His team's play in World Cup XXVIII qualifying might not count for the note he's looking for, but he said, "what you do in qualifying doesn't mean much, as we saw last time out. What matters is how we perform when it's down to the final 32. We have to play much better this time around than we did in either of the last two cups."

Wilson plans to meet with Sir Douglas Freech, the Liverpool England citizen he chose to serve as IFF president whilst he remains head coach of the national team and discuss his plans. Sources close to Wilson say privately that he "absolutely" wants assistant coach Brett Hancock to take over as the full-time national coach, but he would discuss the matter with Freech to decide the course for the Stars.

"We're going to make decisions when the time comes," Freech told the Daily Mail. "Right now, it's Dave Wilson's team on the pitch and he's going to decide on his future when the time comes. As for a timetable, I really don't have that right now."

Whatever happens with Wilson, he has told close friends that he has no plans to assume the coaching reins elsewhere, and that if he retires, it's for good.

"I just don't have the energy to start from scratch, and I believe that many jobs around the world would require me to do just that," he told one reporter two weeks after World Cup XXVII ended. "I'm not exactly 50 anymore." That last sentence has been the biggest revelation to Stars players and supporters, many of whom saw an energised Wilson in the immediate aftermath of his return to the Stars from Hypocria. Wilson's energy is beginning to flag, even as he has begun to cede many of the IFF chairman's responsibilities to Freech.

"He's beginning to lean more heavily on Hancock for support," a source familiar with the team said. "Much more so. Brett's becoming the bad cop to Dave's good cop. I think that might help things until Dave makes a decision." Even though Hancock is only in his early 40s, he has earned enormous respect among Stars supporters for the two straight trips to the AOCAF final, including the team's only championship in AOCAF XII.

"Brett knows what he's doing technically," forward Kevin Wilson, Dave Wilson's younger son, said. But more importantly, he showed against Starblaydia that he would stand up for his players." Hancock earned a red card for charging at and attacking Starblaydi defender Francisco Ibanez after the Starblaydi player attacked Stars midfielder Ettore Salivani. Even though the IFF sent a letter of reprimand to Hancock for his conduct, the players privately said he won them over with that act.

"He showed he wouldn't back down from anyone," said one player who spoke on condition of anonymity. "No matter how rough their reputation. Believe me, that goes a long way."

Wentland

03-05-2006, 22:32

Wow. The Vikings. Away. When a win was imperative.

Not the easiest of games.

Joe Weston had been reading about John Lucas more. But that was leading him to learn about John Preston. Preston preceded Lucas, and like Lucas died on the pitch. This time scoring a goal that clinched the title for Kelburn.

The odd thing about Preston was that he lived in a caravan. Like Lucas. Like Capper.

Another odd thing was that both of them had tattoos on their chests. Of phoenixes.

John Capper seemed to be reborn in Fmjphoenix, certainly. He seemed to have shed 10 years as he helped to organize the training. He refused to leave the training-ground laid on by the Vikings one night. The players turned up the next morning and Capper was already there.

"Dammit, John, how do you keep going?"

"I think it's the climate. Seems to suit an old wanderer like me."

Despite all the extra training John Capper was the freshest of the Wentland players. And he told Joe Weston about some of the past players in Fmjphoenix. "They basically brought tactics to Wentland, you know. Until a visit from a Vanguard team it was all kick-and-rush and dribble. They showed us how to pass the ball and so on. Great players. Great play.

"The one who learnt the most was a chap called Pearson. Brought the style to Kelburn. Actually played in Phonecia for a while. Right on this pitch, in fact. See that little stand in the corner? That was the biggest stand at the time. Now it's the smallest. How things have changed!"

"How come you know about it?"

"Oh, er, let's just say a fiery bird told me..."

Swilatia

03-05-2006, 23:26

http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/3532/sbc34jz.gif
We lose too much.
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/swilatia.jpg Swilatia 1 - 4 Milchama http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/jersey--67.jpg

Yes, today we had our match against Milchama. And unfortunately we lost even though it was a baseball-centred nation. well, his could have something to do with how they actually qualified for world cup 27. which we never knew. stupid wikipedia! or was it another act of vandalism.

Well, we still have a chance at world cup qualifications, as we are only halfway through the qualifications for world cup 28. Only Halfway!! So if we do good in the next half, the Swilatian National football team might avtually qualify for the cup. if we don't get locked in the middle again, that is.

Okay. once again, to the obligatory match report section. Why do we have to have it?? Oh well. lets get to it. In the first half, Milchama was scoring goal after goal. At half-time, the scoreboard in the Stadium read:
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/swilatia.jpg..........http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/jersey--67.jpg
Swilatia 0 - 4 Milchama

And then after half-time is where the Swilatian team tried to fight back. unfortunately, we scored only one goal during that time, and that is soooo not good, because we lose again. thats right, again.

we are still in the fourth place, there is really no point in looking at the group tables. lets just hope The Swilatian National Football Team wins tommorow's match against Giant Zucchinni's National Football Team will go well, instead of more trouble for us.

Milchama

03-05-2006, 23:51

Alexandria Times-Tribune-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer

Sports Section

Milchama crush Swilatia

The Warriors responded very well to the criticism of coach Jamie Smith as they crushed Swilatia 4-1 in a game that they dominated from start to finish. The one Swilatian goal was a fluke and it the amount of yellow cards they had were ridicoulous. Coach Jamie Smith said, "We played very well today. It was probably our best game of the tournament so far but this does not make up for the fact that we sucked the last two days. We need to be more consistent if we want to continue and do well in the World Cup. This inconsistency will need to stop ASAP."
Now onto the Match Report:

The Warriors started faboulously when Darian Flinters found Spot Nielson open in the box. Nielson beat Robert Mirek and goalie Lindon Alysia to score. One minute later Nielson went down hard and Mirek was handed a yellow card. This lit a flame in the Milchamians who now were not only mad about their flag being wrong, the fact that the Swilatians said that they did not qualify for WC 27 and finally the fire that Coach Smith had lit under them after last game's disaster. This led to an all out attack which ended up with Kendric Pevington getting a goal in the 21st mintue when Johnny Rintell found him on the edge of the area after an overlapping run. The 2-0 lead did not stop the Warriors either as they continued to attack and almost scored two minutes later but Jan Wlodzislaw pulled down Floren Albentine and was handed the yellow card for this. The second yellow card calmed the Swilatians down but did not stop the Milchamian attack as Johnny Rintell found Floren Albentine in the box. Albentine outran Mirek and beat Mathias on the dribble before again showing his deadly finishing touch by unleashing a wonderful that didn't give the keeper a chance. Even 3-0 did not satiate the Milchamians want for a blow out as they had one more chance before half time when Copperlee swung in a cross to the far side that J.J. Faren vollied home for the 4-0 and almost certain win. The second half was quite a bore as the determined Swilatians did pull a goal back through Helena Mitzi in the 63rd minute the Warriors still controlled the pace of play and stopped them from attacking as much as they would like or needed too.

Final Score:
Milchama 4 (Nielson 2, Pevington 21, Albentine 37, Faren 45)
Swilatia 1 (Mitzi 63)

Raging Penguins Report:
Despite having Rejistania in the group The Team seems to be the most karelan as they have two 0-0 draws and have not scored a goal through 6 games of qualifying. Their most recent result was a nil-nil draw against Spaamian Plijous.

Milchama Man of the Match:
In a performance like this it is hard to call one person the man of the match so we'll call the starters the men of the match for their overwhelming performance today. Let's hope we can keep this up against Sarzonia next match.

Georgeonia

04-05-2006, 00:14

Starblaydia 0 Harlesburg 2
Vuam and Isma 0 Praying2God 1
Georgeonia 2 Gaspland 1

Squids Finally Get Breakthrough

Goals from Cunningham and Majewski saw the Squids edge past
high-flying Gaspland last night in a nervous 2-1 victory.
The win, the squids' first of the campaign, finally moves
the team off the bottom of the group table, albeit on goal
difference. Three points has also relieved the pressure on
coach Mad Cap'n Bob, who was rumoured to need a result in
this or the next match to avoid seeing his contract come to
and early end. The Squids next face 205th ranked Duana Hills,
and whilst this is on paper an easy victory, Duana Hills'
results so far suggest that the Squids will need to put in a
top class performance to record another win and make up some
more lost ground on the rest of the group.

MD01: Home to Vuam and Isma L 1-2
MD02: Home to Starblaydia L 0-2
MD03: Away to Praying2god L 2-0
MD04: Away to Harlesburg L 3-2
MD05: Home to Gaspland W 2-1

Mr Chuck Norris

04-05-2006, 02:54

Chuck Norris News
For All Of Your Fighting Norris Coverage

Well fans of the Fighting Norris, our team has pulled out another win in suspenseful fasion. Here's the summary:

Mr Chuck Norris 1 (Chuck Norris 87)
Slakaj 0

What happened in this match? You don't want to know. The Fighting Norris marched into Slakaj's stadium with the utmost confidence of a blowout win. In the end, a win would be the result, but a blowout it certainly was not. Play started with an overconfident Fighting Norris midfield yielding control of the ball to the inexperienced but skilled Slakaj midfield. However, the charge proved to be worthless as the Slakaj forwards were quite literally tripping over their own feet.

Although the Slakaj players had a tough time advancing the ball down the field (noting the fact that they've only scored 2 goals in six matches this tourney), they certainly help strong when it came to the Fighting Norris advance. The Slakaj administration and coaches clearly knew that if the Fighting Norris "five-forward" offense were to get off a good charge, it would result in a goal.

The first half ended suprisingly with match scoreless and the Fighting Norris rather angry. Unfortunately, they didn't have much luck in the second half either as the Slakaj defense continued to hold strong. Time remainging ran shorter and shorter as the scoreboard remained 0-0.

The clock struck the 85th minute and the Fighting Norris knew it was do or draw, which was not tolerable. The "five-forward offense" of the Fighting Norris finally pushed themselves deep into Slakaj territory. Only four minutes remined to score; heartrates increased, tensions pulled tighter, and the "five-forward offense" pushed harder.

Brian Boitano was uncovered and had the chance to score, but failed to, leaving the ball out in the open. Three minutes left, a ball out in the open, the difference between one point and three. Who better to make contact with that ball than Chuck Norris, the best hope for a score. As his foot came around and made roundhouse-kick-induced contact with the ball, the ball soared past the goalkeeper of Slakaj in the 87th minute. With three minutes remaining and the Fighting Norris up 1-0, a win was inevitable. The Slakaj offense failed to press in the final minutes and cheers erupted as the Fighting Norris were seclared the winners.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hello everyone, another win, another 3 points, and another fantastic group analysis by the infamous Bob Janney for you to enjoy. Currently, the mighty Squornshelous sit at the top of our group 11 points. This squad is closely followed by Cuation and Bettia with 10 points a piece, spereated only by a goal difference. That leaves us in fourth place with 9 points, Five Civilized Nations in fifth place with 8 points, Burning Penguins in Sixth place with 3 points, and Slakaj sitting in dead last with a whopping absence of points. Now, everything is going great for our Fighting Norris as next week's matchups have some great potential for our squad. Next matchday, the seventh of the tourney, Bettia will go to Squornshelous, Five Civilized Nations will go to Cuation, and we will go to Burning Penguins. A win will give us 12 points, temporarily putting us in front of the pack. However, Squornshelous could likely pull out a win or a draw and dethrone us. Reguardless of how the Squornshelous vs. Bettia match turns out, we will benefit. Same goes for the Five Civilized Nations at Cuation match, which will benefit us reguardless of the outcome. Long story short, good times are coming, we hope you follow us along our jouney."

World Cup 28 Schedule of the Fighting Norris:
Matchday 1: Vs. Five Civilized Nations (Won 4-2)
Matchday 2: Vs. Squornshelous (Loss 0-2)
Matchday 3: At Bettia (Won 3-1)
Matchday 4: At Cuation (Loss 1-3)
Matchday 5: On Bye
Matchday 6: Vs. Slakaj (Won 1-0)
Matchday 7: Vs. Burning Penguins
Matchday 8: At Five Civilized Nations
Matchday 9: At Squornshelous
Matchday 10: Vs. Bettia
Matchday 11: Vs. Cuation
Matchday 12: On Bye
Matchday 13: At Slajak
Matchday 14: At Burning Penguins

Fighting Norris World Cup 28 Record: (3-0-2)

Spaam

04-05-2006, 03:53

Spaam Sports Weekly
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Qualification Organisers Disadvantage Spaam

The organisers of the qualification series made a controversial decision and
allowed Elrich to play their home game a day earlier than planned due to
supposed 'flood' conditions. This saw very few Spaamanian fans attend the
game, and gave the Waffles very little time to prepare. The USFA is
expected to protest the decision, in what is a long line of disappointments for
Spaam.

The match started with the Elrichians dominating the ball, and it paid off,
with their star striker Elrich beating Jelbert in a one-on-one situation in the
tenth minute. Spaam's defense rallied, and they were on the back foot for
the entire first half, as they put their all into a refreshed Elrichian team.
There were a number more chances, but Waffles' star keeper Morwetha
Jelbert didn't let any further in.

The second half saw the Waffles attack, and attack hard, but they were not
used to the grounds, while the Elrichians seemed to be at home. The
hundred or so Spaamanian fans were in raptures when vice captain Cleder
Cawrse seemed to score a goal in the 81st minute, but the referee overruled
the linesman and called him offside in a controversial decision. There were
no more chances after that, and the game finished a controversial loss to
Spaam.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/spaam.jpg 1:1 Elrich
Elrich: 81 Elrich 10

Group 8

The Emperialist had the bye, while in other matches, Rejistania dominated
Ariddia in a four goals to one whitewash of the visiting team. Spaamanian
Plijous and Raging Penguins provided the fans with some very brutal football,
but no goals, the game ending a scoreless draw. The results see Rejistania
stay on top with a two point lead, over a tied second place of Elrich and
Ariddia. Spaam is fourth, four points off the place, while Raging Penguins and
Spaamanian Plijous are battling for the wooden spoon.

Next week sees Spaam heading over to Rejistania, which will probably see
the Waffles lose two in a row. Ariddia hosts Elrich to decided second place,
but most money is on Ariddia. Spaamanian Plijous hosts The Emperialist in an
interesting match, which could go either way, and with any luck will see at
least one Spaamanian team win. And the Raging Penguins get some time off
to go back to their lunatic asylum. Maybe they will score some goals in the
second half of qualification.

Team P W D L GF GA GD PT PG G%
Rejistania 5 4 1 0 11 1 10 13 2.6 92
Elrich 5 3 2 0 5 2 3 11 2.2 73
Ariddia 5 3 2 0 12 8 4 11 2.2 60
Spaam 5 1 3 1 4 4 0 6 1.2 50
The Emperialist 5 1 1 3 3 9 -6 4 0.8 25
Spaamanian Plijous 5 0 2 3 4 8 -4 2 0.4 33
Raging Penguins 6 0 2 4 0 6 -6 2 0.3 0

1 Spaam 1:1 Ariddia
2 BYE
3 Spaam 1:1 Spaamanian Plijous
4 Spaam 2:1 The Emperialist
5 Raging Penguins 0:0 Spaam
6 Elrich 1:0 Spaam
7 Rejistania ?:? Spaam
8 Ariddia ?:? Spaam
9 BYE
10 Spaamanian Plijous ?:? Spaam
11 The Emperialist ?:? Spaam
12 Spaam ?:? Raging Penguins
13 Spaam ?:? Elrich
14 Spaam ?:? Rejistania

Goal Scorers .
8 Melyor Trewin 2
4 Crewenna Roskelly 1
1 Tehta Trevelyan 1

The Archregimancy

04-05-2006, 05:07

MD 7 scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=10893440#post10893440)are now posted

Liverpool England

04-05-2006, 07:28

Reagan warned to buck up by FALE
Terminators manager Nick Reagan has been given the dreaded vote of confidence by the FALE amid calls for his resignation in Liverpool England after losing two seemingly easy games against Dance 2 Revolution and Kaze Progressa, in the latter's case, 3-2 at home.

Bedistani-born Reagan, appointed after Sir Douglas Freech left the post after the World Cup 26 final for Sarzonia, where he has had his share of poor luck, led the Terminators to the World Cup 27 final in his homeland, losing 3-1 in the final against Bedistan. FALE Chairman Syku Lyku confirmed that Reagan would keep his job but that while the FALE "trusts him to serve the nation well, such poor performances cannot be tolerated, and we need to see a marked improvement in the next three games, starting with the home match against Vilita."

Reagan has won one of his three chances to prove himself, with the Terminators having defeated the Jungle Cats 2-0 through two Anthony Langer goals.

Rorysville

04-05-2006, 07:47

http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/3189/sportsnetrv9bw.png
Sportsnet RV Soccer Central

Rorysville Drops another close one this time to Boudra-Boudra 2-1." Close games are decided by a few factors and the only way we are ever gonna get over and past this hump is to learn from what we've done and build off of it.This is a very young squad and they are doing as good as they possibly can. My hope is that they learn from thier mistakes late inthe game and learn to condition themselves to play all 90 minutes and not 75 minutes"--Coach McKlintok.
"I hope that we can turn this around although we've played it tight I think we can play a littel better and do tighten up a bit on our coverage defensivly."--Young Sniper Adam Negeuanne on the Loss.

Goals in the Match for Boudra-Boudra-S.Bradkorb(26min),M.Piminio(86min)
the lone goal for Rorysville was scored by Arthur McCarty in the 34th Minute.

Yellow cards RV-1(R.MacDonnel 82min) ,BB-1(T.Oppt-Sjlook 8min)

Other Matches in Group 7
Jeruselem 2 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 0
Kericia 3 Becquerelia 1

Standings
GROUP 7 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Jeruselem 6 4 1 1 9 5 4 13
Kericia 6 4 0 2 11 6 5 12
Boudra-Boudra 6 4 0 2 9 8 1 12
Becquerelia 6 3 0 3 9 7 2 9
ASMV 6 3 0 3 7 7 0 9
Rorysville 6 2 1 3 8 10 -2 7
Philthealbino 6 0 0 6 1 11 -10 0

Our Sportsnet RV Player of the Match is Adam Negeuanne who was all over the pitch doing all he could to win the game for Rorysville.

Dorian and Sonya

04-05-2006, 07:57

Unicorns Fail Against Unknown Squad

Queen Sonya was more than a bit confused. We just lost to who??? Never heard of them before. But then again it seemed as if this whole cup was full of surprises, and this time we got the wrong end of one of the upsets we have been tracking so diligently.

She really didn’t know what to think of the 1-2 loss to someone named Rosberg. But a keeper change would now be made. Too bad it was back to the original starter - she sucks too. The Queen was seriously considering bringing in the keeper from the secondary squad from D&S. But he sucks as well so it probably won’t help anyway.

But there was a bright spot. Altáriël Telperiën scored again. She seemed to be the only Unicorn player who was anywhere near consistent in her level of play. The rest of the squad needed a severe overhaul. Either that or it was well past time for the Unicorns to break out the bikini kits that had been so successful when used before. Hmmmm….If you can’t beat ‘em, show them some skin and hope they forget about football.

Next up for the Mystical Unicorns is a trip to surprise Group 2 powerhouse, D2R. When they visited the Kingdom, they handed us a 4-1 loss. We would love to repay that favor to them at their place.

Now for the Upset Watch

Group 11 - Wentland upended Fmjphoenix 2-1
Group 15 - Turori surprised Krytenia 3-2

Not many upsets to speak of, but then again it was a 1 vs. 2, 3 vs. 4, 5 vs. 6 kind of day. I am sure we will get back to normal on the next match day.

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

04-05-2006, 08:38

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg

A Loss We Expected - No Match for Jeruselem

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from Jeruselem.

Today the Sea Dragons faced the number one side in Group 7 and fell 0-2. But the good news is that the score was significantly closer than when we faced them in WC25. Improvement is improvement. What else can we say about losing to them at their home pitch. This was the match we were supposed to lose. The other 2 were at home against far inferior opponents.

And with that, the first half of the WC28 qualifiers is thankfully over and done and the second half is set to begin. May the Mother Star grant us better results before the end. The Sea Dragons currently sit 5th in Group 7. Jeruselem leads the group, as expected, with 13 points. Kericia and Surprise Boudra-Boudra are just behind with 12 points. Becquerel (even though we beat these guys) sits in 4th - ahead of us on Goal Differential. Uhhhgggggg!!!!!

And even worse, we still have 3 (of 6) consecutive road matches to get through. This will begin in Kericia. We beat these guys at home on MD1. BUT this match is one that we expected to lose when we looked at the schedule. Now we CAN NOT afford another loss. We have to find a way to beat these guys if we harbor any hopes of finishing 2nd in the group.

Friends Watch
Hypocria fell to Bedistan 2-1
Dorian and Sonya lost 1-2 to newcomer Rosberg
Cuation played a 2 all draw Five Civilized Nations
Ariddia dropped Elrich 1-0
Milchama was Starstruck 1-2
Tadjikistan drew 0-0 with Spruitland

Tadjikistan

04-05-2006, 09:12

Scoreless Draw: Tigers couldnt bite Wabbits!

Dushanbe - A 4-0 victory in the Isserson stadium against Pastorville boosted Tadjik morale, finally a result that reminded them of the good days, a sign that Tadjikistan would take that first place with ease.The only way to do that was by winning here in Dushanbe against their main rivals, Spruitland. History teaches us thats the Tigers can beat them, the previous two matches both ended in wins for the Tigers (3-1 and 1-2).

But alot has changed since those days; The Tadjiks are in a dip and the Spruitland Wabbits moved up through the KPB rankings, only six points divide both teams on that list.
The main advantage that the Tigers had here was the audience, fueled by the Tadjik win against the Saints they came here to see their team crush Spruitland.

Totally unexpected (by the Tadjik fans), the Spruitland Wabbits were able to keep the zero on the scoreboard. Not even a wonderful move by Saradov over the right flank could shake up the Wabbit defenses while Gyurza and co kept Jools and Provoost away from the Tadjik box. The defenders did a terrific job in keeping their nets untouched.
Georgi Shpagin was pleased to see a good Tadjik defense but once more wondered about the sometimes invisible forwards 'I'm glad we can finally stop an attack, but appearantly our rivals have no problem stopping us either. These strikers are probably the best in Tadjikistan, they can decide this match in our favour. So why didnt they score? Round two satarts soon now and Zaev will have a bye day to figure out how to improve our striker efficiency and increase the number of Tadjik goals, then we can test it here in Dushanbe against those terrorists from Atheistic Right.'

GROUP 13 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Spruitland 6 4 2 0 10 1 9 14
Tadjikistan 6 3 3 0 11 3 8 12
N. Caesarea 6 1 5 0 4 3 1 8
Radke 6 2 1 3 7 10 -3 7
Apo. Kittens 6 2 1 3 3 6 -3 7
Atheistic Right 6 1 1 4 5 7 -2 4
Pastorville 6 1 1 4 3 13 -10 4

MD1: Bye
MD2: Atheistic Right - Tadjikistan D 0-0
MD3: Tadjikistan - Radke W 4-2
MD4: N. Ceasarea - Tadjikistan D 1-1
MD5: Apo. Kittens - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD6: Tadjikistan - Pastorville W 4-0
MD7: Tadjikistan - Spruitland D 0-0
MD8: Bye
MD9: Tadjikistan - Atheistic Right
MD10: Radke - Tadjikistan
MD11: Tadjikistan - N. Ceasarea
MD12: Tadjikistan - Apo. Kittens
MD13: Pastorville - Tadjikistan
MD14: Spruitland - Tadjikistan

Tadjik Goalscorers:
Saradov - 4
Zyrianov - 3
Tulberdiev - 2
Elisarov - 1
Kirponos - 1

Ariddia

04-05-2006, 10:31

Ariddia steady on course: for how long?

Having lost only one game so far, against group leaders Rejistania, Ariddia hosted Elrich in Stade National Rêvane-Sud to decide the temporary second place. The Rouge-et-Noirs had dropped from first to third in the group after their severe loss to the Rejistanians.

“Elrich are a very good side, that could still top this group,” coach Adam Seul explained. “We take every match very seriously, and this is no exception.”

The two-game suspension of one of Ariddia’s top players, Hanifah Kyaw, was confirmed before the game, and the twenty-year-old had to watch the crucial mach from the sidelines. She was replaced on the pitch by experienced midfielder John Sanjeeb.

The match began quite slowly, after an initial burst of energy in the ulek, as each side seemed to probe the other with some caution. Then matters speeded up, and Clémentine Ramirez opened the score for the PDSRA in the twenty-eighth minute. The cheers of the home crowd faded, however, as the goal was disallowed due to an offside – despite the protests of team mate Ismail Faraj, who earned himself a yellow card for arguing with the referee.

Going into the second half goalless, the Ariddians shifted into upper gear. A barrage of forays into Elrich’s defences tested the latter’s keeper, until Frédéric Clément triumphantly broke the deadlock in the sixty-seventh minute. Eot Ja was quickly brought in to freshen up Ariddia’s defence and prevent any counter-attack, but, although the final half-hour seemed endless, the score line held. Ariddians breathed a collective sigh of relief as the match ended, leaving them to celebrate another three points.

“We’ve never done this well before!” a delighted fan said while leaving the stadium. “I just hope we can keep up the momentum.”

Meanwhile, there is little probability of Rejistania weakening, having conceded only two goals so far. The major surprise of the group is Spaam, who, against all expectations, appear to be struggling. In fourth place, they are only one point ahead of Spaamanian Plijous. And it is Spaam, coincidentally, which Ariddia will be hosting for the next game.

“Should be interesting,” was Ariddian captain Ue Alt’s only comment. Increasingly in need of points, the Spaamanians are unlikely to be pulling any punches.

Georgeonia

04-05-2006, 11:52

Starblaydia 1 Praying2God 0
Harlesburg 0 Vuam and Isma 2
Georgeonia 0 Dauna Hills 0

Squids Bottom After Lackluster Draw

A nil-all draw with 148th ranked Duana Hills last night left
the Squids in dead last pace in group three, with half of the
campaign now complete. The Squids will be dissapointed to have
done so poorly, especially after some predictions placed them
as high as third. As things stand, however, the Squids are six
points short of the second qualifying spot, whilst Starblydia
in first place look to be uncatchable. One positive to have
come from the Squids' matches so far is that they have preserved
their record of never having lost to a lower-ranked team. Whilst
the four points gained over the last two matchdays have done
something to relieve the immediate pressure on manager Mad Cap'n
Bob, results will need to improve in the second half of the
campaign for him to feel secure about still managing the Squids
come the Cup of Harmony. Tonight the Squids take on Vuam and
Isma, and will be hoping to avenge their two-one loss on the
opening day of the season. A win for the Squids would move them
into sixth, or perhaps even fifth place, and their position
would begin to look much more secure. A defeat, however, would
leave the Squids languishing at the foot of the table, at least
three points behind the team ahead, and could effectively end
any remaining faint chance of the Squids qualifying for the
finals.

+ Manager Analysis +
***Mad Cap'n Bob***

Pl W D L pts %

All Matches: 32 6 6 20 24/96 = 25%

Last two tournaments: 13 1 2 10 5/39 = 12.8%

Wc28 Qualifying: 6 1 1 4 4/18 = 22.2%

As our hi-tech analysis shows, Mad Cap'n Bob's modest, but
respectable record over his whole career has taken a drastic
downturn over the last two tournaments in which the Squids
have played, which has led to calls for him to resign and
give another manager the chance to lead the Squids. By
looking at the results from wc28 in isolation, however, we
can see that in terms of success Bob is almost back to his
overall 25% success rate, and that his poor results when
looking at the last two tournaments can be attributed almost
entirely to the Squids' disasterous Draggonnii Inviyattii,
in which they finished dead last. It would seem then that
despite that dip in form, Mad Cap'n Bob has recovered, and
that calls for his resignation might be premature. No doubt
even a moderately successful second half to this qualifying
campaign will be enough to see Mad Cap'n Bob Managing the
Squids for at least the Cup of Harmony, and Quite possibly
the next world cup as well. Only time will tell...

Jeruselem

04-05-2006, 13:37

* Cartoon of knight chasing a sea dragon around *

Rachel "Good morning. This is Rachel Goldstein for JGN at the World Cup 28. Yes, Jeruselem passed the test. We took on the Sea Dragons who aren't some unsignficant team but a potential qualifier. Jeruselem showed why it's top seed in Group 7 and top dog with a solid 2-0 over the Sea Dragons. It wasn't a demonstation of Takil or Karela, but an effective combination of both. Solid at the back while potentially dangerous in the opposition half. The team get a bye on Match Day 8, so we will lose top spot"

* Guy in black suit turns up *

Mr X (Jeruselem coach) "Sorry I'm late."

Rachel "This is Mr X, the Jeruselem coach. We don't know his real name"

Mr X "Err, umm"

Rachel "Well, the win today? A good sign?"

Mr X "Yes, but we need more application. We have to score more than two goals a game, but the defense is OK. 5 goals in 6 games conceded is what the doctor ordered. Yeah, err ..."

Rachel "Kericia and Boudra-Boudra won as well. They beat underdogs Becquerelia and Rorysville, three one and two one. The underdogs have done well, but it's looking like the seeds are picking up their game"

Mr X "Yes, but we need to shape up for a fight in last games. Rorysville is only 5 points behind us. Philthealbino is looking err bleached"

Rachel "In other games, Hockey Canada had a scoreless draw with The Kazoo Peoples and Nedalia beat Collonie. Final score THREE NIL. Lions we think this is YOUR world cup, the best one you will have."

Mr X "Yeah, Canucks and Lions doing really well. Apart from that loss, we are not that bad. 13 points compared to 14 and 15, it's just our group is very close"

Rachel "This is Rachel Goldstein for JGN and Mr X, the Jeruselem coach. Remember Hockey Canada and Jeruselem have bye tomorrow, so watch the Nedalia and Bettia games."

Northern Caesarea

04-05-2006, 13:45

After the end of the first half of the WC28 qualifying tournament, Northern Caesarea head coach, Paco Antequera, is optimistic about the possibilities of the national team, but "we have to improve a lot and work a lot".

Mr. Antequera is a bit dissapointed about the goal performance of the team: "we have only scored 4 goals in 6 matches. It's nothing to be proud about. We must improve our offensive game and keep our concentration high in crucial moments. Some of our matches ended as a draw because we were too euphoric. Other times, we have to avoid the first minutes desorientation. In our last match againt Atheistic Right, our defense took too much time to concentrate on the rival game. In that minutes, they managed to score a goal, cancelled by the referee because of an offside and they nearly missed to score another. Our defenders started to work seriously, then. I want that seriousness during all the match".

The head coach seems to have lost his confidence on goalkeeper Cuéllar: "his match against AR was simply disastrous. I think it's time to try another alternatives. Leonardo Franco is doing an excellent season with Ajax Ríos and I'm going to give him a chance on the next match. That doesn't imply that he will not play with me again. He's a reference for the team".

On the midfield, a new face, Maxi, to try to change the goal performance.

Likely team against Radke

25. Franco
2. Ferrer
4. Capdevilla
15. Molinero
22. Ibañez

24. Novo
14. Vizcaíno
8. Ibagaza
11. Maxi

7. Narváez
17. Maragall

Called in

1. Cuéllar
3. Sergi
13. Caminero
20. Gabi
9. Torres
23. Salmerón

Tynelia

04-05-2006, 14:37

“Hello everyone and welcome to Tynelian Soccer Weekly. I’m Sal Spikeman and I’m accompanied by Anna Dalespin as always. Today proves that once more nothing can be taken for granted and that this race should go down to the finish. Unable to shake off the shocking attack on Coach Greg Tudor after the last match Tynelia went to the Lowland Clans and came up on the short end of a 1-0 score. To make matters worse Turori bounced back from their upset loss to us and defeated top seeded Krytenia creating a three way tie for second which drops Tynelia to 4th because of goals scored. Now with Krytenia on bye as we begin the second half a threeway tie for first could occur before they get back on the field. So Anna what’s going to happen next?”

“First of all Tynelia will get to return back home for a pair of matches against the Algal States and Talmeria before hitting the road again. Despite all the off field adversity, they actually played well against the third seed on the road and should be encouraged by their effort when they play them again at home to conclude group play. Coach O’Meara did a good job considering the limited time he had to prepare and after a quick goal at the nine minute mark by the home team, Amy Whiteowrth settled down and blanked them the rest of the way. Unfortunately the offense couldn’t break through and we had to leave with a somewhat disappointing loss. I think if the attack had not taken place I feel they could have come away with a least a draw.”

“Yes, regarding the vicious assault on Coach Tudor by the man he replaced Seamus Flannigan O’Connell , Coach Tudor is doing fine, the wound required sixteen stitches to close but he has been eating well and no lingering affects are apparent. He is expected to be sent home within the week. When he returns to the field is still up for debate. His attacker has been locked in solitary confinement as state prosecutors are trying for life imprisonment for attempted murder. The DA has yet to make a statement. But enough about that madman, let’;s go to the match itself.

“ Like you said earlier Anna, the Clans scored quickly in the match and held on the rest of the way. Still this was a good defensive effort to hold the offensive minded Clansmen to a single goal. The goal came just past the nine minute mark as Ryley Bloudin fired a rocket pass a diving Whiteworth. That seemed to get Tynelia’s head back into the match but little did anyone know it would be too late. The Clans held a comfortable 17-13 shots edge and the edge in quality attempts as well at 5-2. Going along with that trend, the Lowland Clans also controlled the clock by almost six minutes as they tried to keep the pressure on the whole match. Any additional thoughts Anna?”

“Just that it was a bit of a disappointment for the team I have to think. The match before they were alone in second with undefeated Krytenia going up against an uneven Turori squad. Suddenly one upset and one expected loss and Tynelia is back in a three way tie at second. Now it’s a must for Tynelia to sweep its next three games to keep their chances realistic. With road games against the top two seeds coming this time around it will be very tough to take any points in those two matches. It may very well come down to the final match against the Lowland Clans. The best thing to happen in the next match would be for a Lowland Clans-Turori draw coupled with a Tynelian win. That would put us two points ahead of both of them and technically tied with Krytenia who is on bye. It was good to see the Algal States win their match today. Its always dangerous facing a winless team because you know they’re due. With that in mind hopefully Talmeria can enter the win column against Geisenfried before we face them as well.”

“You are certainly right in that this is the part of the draw where Tynelia must make its big move Anna. Any slip up could be the one costing them a shot at advancing. With that in mind it must also be said that Turori has settled down some winning three of their last four and the Clans also bounced back from a mid round slump. Again Tynelia’s chances will be helped with every draw Turori and the Clans have from here on out and Krytenia must beat them both this time around as well. No matter what happens I think this race for second will go right down to the wire.”

“Indeed Sal, no team has been able to sustain any momentum so far which is why Tynelia must take these next three. With that kind of momentum going into Krytenia they may be able to fare better in the rematch than they did in the first match even though they’ll be on the road.”

“So what are your picks for these next matches?”

“Obviously I have to like Tynelia’s chances at home against a team they’ve beaten three times in a row in World Cup play. Winning 1-0 on the road helped them start off on the right foot and I think with the home crowd behind them, Tynelia might be able to double that showing and come out with a 2-0 win. Turori and the Lowland Clans is a very tough match to pick because with these two teams you have no idea which team will show up. Will it be a shootout or a shutout? Anything can happen with these two. With that in mind I’m going to go out and call a 2-2 draw. But it could just as easily be 4-3 or 0-0 with these teams. In the other match Talmeria looks for its first win against a surprising Geisenfried club that started their mini-run to the top early on with an upset over Talmeria. After the first round of play though I don’t really consider this an upset now and look for Talmeria to remain winless after a 2-1 defeat at the hands of Geisenfried.”

“Ok then Anna, with Coach Marcus O’Meara taking over the coaching duties while Coach Tudor recovers we won’t be seeing Coach’s Corner for some time now. But now let’s head over to ‘Harmonie’s Hearsay’ with our own Harmonie Masterson. Felling better today Harmonie?”

“Hi Sal! Hi Anna! Yes I’m feeling MUCH better today. I called snugglypoo last night and we talked and I feel much better now. But now I’m back in action! And wait until you see what I discovered. I went looking into why Coach O’Connell would ever want to attack that nice Coach Tudor and you’ll never guess what I found out. I learned that Coach O’Connell is Irish and that Coach Tudor is British. Then I found out that the Irish and the British really don’t like each other. Then he got jealous because Coach Tudor was doing so good and that was all he needed to go after him. What a meanie! Back to you Sal.”

“Um thanks Harmonie for that insight. Imagine that Irishmen attacking British. Well that’s all our time for today. Tune in for our coverage of the Tynelia/Algal States match and then right afterwards we’ll be back here with the postgame show. So for Anna Dalespin this is Sal Spikeman wishing everyone a good night.”

Spaam

04-05-2006, 14:39

Spaam Sports Weekly
NationStates' Most Notorious Sports Publication

Rejistania Kicks Spaam Out

At the halfway point in qualification, it looks like the 25th ranked Spaam is not
going to qualify, after their expected loss to Rejistania. With a negative
record after six games, the best the Waffles can finish is third. Spaam
managed to keep up with the 9th seeds for the first half of the match, but a
goal by Kimi sent the Rejistanians up for the rest of the match. Spaam travel
to Ariddia next week, in a match that will probably cement Ariddia's spot into
qualification.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/rejistania.jpg 1:0 http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/spaam.jpg
Rejistania: 7 Kimi 49

Group 8

In other matches, Ariddia predictably defeated Elrich one goal to nil, to send
the third seeds 8 points ahead of Spaam. However, the Spaamanians did get
a win, as the Gulls defeated The Emperialist two goals to none. Spaamanian
Plijous is now just one point behind Spaam, despite there being 86 spots
between and a complete lack of media coverage from the territory. Spaam
head to Ariddia next week for a loss, Spaamanian Plijous get a chance to
move ahead of Spaam when they host Elrich, and the Raging Penguins get a
chance to move out of wooden spoon contention when they play The
Emperialist.

Team P W D L GF GA GD PT PG G%
Rejistania 6 5 1 0 12 1 11 16 2.7 92
Ariddia 6 4 2 0 13 8 5 14 2.3 62
Elrich 6 3 2 1 5 3 2 11 1.8 63
Spaam 6 1 3 2 4 5 -1 6 1.0 44
Spaamanian Plijous 6 1 2 3 6 8 -2 5 0.8 43
The Emperialist 6 1 1 4 3 11 -8 4 0.7 21
Raging Penguins 6 0 2 4 0 6 -6 2 0.3 0

1 Spaam 1:1 Ariddia
2 BYE
3 Spaam 1:1 Spaamanian Plijous
4 Spaam 2:1 The Emperialist
5 Raging Penguins 0:0 Spaam
6 Elrich 1:0 Spaam
7 Rejistania 1:0 Spaam
8 Ariddia ?:? Spaam
9 BYE
10 Spaamanian Plijous ?:? Spaam
11 The Emperialist ?:? Spaam
12 Spaam ?:? Raging Penguins
13 Spaam ?:? Elrich
14 Spaam ?:? Rejistania

Goal Scorers .
8 Melyor Trewin 2
4 Crewenna Roskelly 1
1 Tehta Trevelyan 1

Boudra-Boudra

04-05-2006, 14:44

Boudra-Boudra vs Rorysville

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/boudra-boudra.jpg vs http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/rorysville.jpg

Team Tied For Second Place
...after winning 2-1 again

With the Boudra-Boudra team beating Rorysville by a close margin of 2 to 1 they move into a tied second place. The match was tense with both teams playing very well and creating some nice combinations, especially youngster Adam Negeuanne from Roryville played a good match, unfortunately his efforts did not score his team any points.

Yet again, the upcoming match is vital as Boudra-Boudra will be playing at Becquerelia, who started fiercely but are now on a three-game losing streak. The Boudran players will be seeking revenge after the embarrassing home loss against Becquerelia on the first MD.

Final Score:
Boudra-Boudra 2 - 1 Rorysville

1-0 Sosimo Bradkorb '26
1-1 Arthur McCarty '34
2-1 Mikko Piminio '86

The Boudran lineup:

Goalkeeper:
- Ohène Strok'pah

Defenders:
- Rintje Jacobus-Fredriksson (off, 84 mins)
- Hanz Buyakasha (captain)
- Indridi-Ptô Burns

Midfielders:
- Rikke Gallucio
- Bernardino Maria Eduardo Garcia de la Col Delgado
- Torsten Oppt-Sjlook
- Njjik Rahlii

Forwards:
- Arintz Efefefe-Ijlf (off, 73 mins)
- Sosimo Bradkorb
- Malimbo Tar (off, 56 mins)

Replacements:
- Mikko Piminio (For, 73 mins)
- Andris Zdelizj (For, 56 mins)
- Mark Oahp (Def, 84 mins)

Goalscorers for Boudra-Boudra during WC28Q:
3: Sosimo Bradkorb
2: Arintz Efefefe-Ijlf
1: Mikko Piminio, Njjik Rahlii, Malimbo Tar and Andris Zdelizj.

Other MD7 Results in Group 7
Jeruselem 2-0 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Kericia 3-1 Becquerelia

At the half time break the tables now look like this:
GROUP 7 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Jeruselem 6 4 1 1 9 5 4 13
Kericia 6 4 0 2 11 6 5 12
Boudra-Boudra 6 4 0 2 9 8 1 12
Becquerelia 6 3 0 3 9 7 2 9
ASMV 6 3 0 3 7 7 0 9
Rorysville 6 2 1 3 8 10 -2 7
Philthealbino 6 0 0 6 1 11 -10 0

With Boudra-Boudra tied for seccond place the team has to go all the way and try to end in the top two, however this will not be easy. Looking at the results so far and considering that playing at home should be easier than playing away, Boudra-Boudra should win against Andossa Se Mitrin Vega and Kericia, lose against Becquerelia and Jeruselem and draw or lose away to Rorysville and Philthealbino. Coach Linus Gunfi-Pok: "Although I'm impressed with the 12 points we've already got, I believe the team will need to play even better to keep us in the position we are in now. Looking at the schedule the upcoming games are tougher."

The WCQ Schedule for Boudra-Boudra:
Matchday 1: Boudra-Boudra - Becquerelia lost 0-1
Matchday 2: Boudra-Boudra - Jeruselem lost 0-2
Matchday 3: Andossa Se Mitrin Vega - Boudra-Boudra won 1-2
Matchday 4: Kericia - Boudra-Boudra won 2-3
Matchday 5: Bye
Matchday 6: Boudra-Boudra - Philthealbino won 2-1
Matchday 7: Boudra-Boudra - Rorysville won 2-1
Matchday 8: Becquerelia - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 9: Jeruselem - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 10: Boudra-Boudra - Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Matchday 11: Boudra-Boudra - Kericia
Matchday 12: Bye
Matchday 13: Philthealbino - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 14: Rorysville - Boudra-Boudra

Nedalia

04-05-2006, 15:13

The Nedalia Lions

Joke Starting to Get Old

Kafra, Nedalia - After another so-called "victory" (apparently, Nedalia was supposed to have beaten Collonie 3-0...ha!), Nedalians in the capital city took to the street in protest of what they called a joke "gone too far".

"We've had about enough of this mockery!" screamed protester Sam Janas. "It was funny at first, you know, the whole winning 3 games in a row. We all had a right laugh, but now they're just going overboard. Trying to make fun of us, saying we've won 5 out of 6 games. Just rubbing it in our faces. Down with the hosts!"

"I think this is where we draw the line," stated Brian Hillson. "I think its just gotten out of hand, and they've not figured out that they should stop this nonsense. Today, for example, they continued with the tired joke of Nedalia winning games by saying we beat Collonie 3-0. You just gotta know when to stop!"

Indeed, it seems the entire country is in outrage, declaring that to "make fun of people's underachievements" is not a funny thing. With Nedalia known as perhaps the number one perennial underachievers in the entire universe, the Lions fans have not been amused by what they are convinced is a cruel joke being played on them.

"Lions at number two, 6 points ahead of the competition?!" cried Frank Dawson, another protester. "Infront of Chicanada?! They are mocking us right infront of our face!"

Qazox

04-05-2006, 15:22

Qazox City Herald

Halfway home in qualifcation and Qazox is in 2nd place after a thrilling 2-0 victory over Legalese. Scoring opened in the 32nd minute as Maria Gretzky scored on a play that was barely onsides as she sped past the last Legalese defender and deposited the ball in the goal. Legalese defenseman Heath Caficaris, was given a yellow for arguing with the referee about Gretsky being possibly offsides. Both sides decided to play the rest of the half under protest, but the NSWCC ruled that the goal stood during an extended half.

In the second half, Legalese pressured Reggie Hassok with a staggering 7 shots on net in the 1st 10 minutes of the second half, but Reggie "the Rock" (given after to him by head coach Jason Bourne) kep the score at 1-0. In the 83rd minute, Henri Latrique, scored off a crosspass from Jerod Megia to effectively put the match out of reach at 2-0.

In oth group 5 action today, Audioslavia stayed unbeaten/untied by beating the Islands of Qatar 3-0 and Anastasiania vs. Zorinia ended in a 2-2 tie.

Current standings after matchday 7:
GROUP 5 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Audioslavia 6 6 0 0 16 3 13 18
Qazox 6 3 1 2 7 4 3 10
Legalese 6 3 1 2 4 6 -2 10
Anastasiania 6 1 3 2 7 9 -2 6
Isls of Qutar 6 1 3 2 4 6 -2 6
Remote Islands 6 1 1 4 5 10 -5 4
Zorinia 6 1 1 4 7 12 -5 4

Up next for the Black Oxen is Anastasiania whom we beat 2-0 on the road. SO anything less than a repeat of the score will be a big dissapointment.

Giant Zucchini

04-05-2006, 15:31

Dear diary,

Finally some pressure off my back...finally the team clicked today, we're playing the kind of attacking football we've been working so hard on achieving, and we've kept a clean sheet along the way! Eddie did a great job in goal today and the goals by Absy and V were great goals, all in all we had a magnificant game today...could this be the start of the charge? Or will this be one of the few high points in qualifying? I certainly hope it's the former, can't afford to rest on our laurels now. There is more work to be done...

D

New-Lexington

04-05-2006, 16:09

Magnius Velerius Bounces New-Lexington 3-1
New-Lexignton lost their 3rd straight match today verses Magnius Valerius, as defencive and offensive woess continue. There seemed to be a lack of effort today as New-LExignton never was in the match and MAgnius Velerius dominated. The lone Lexitonain goal came from defenceman Mason Crosby who stole a lazy pass by a Valerian reserve and beat the goalie 1 on 1. Fortunatel for New-LExington they will face St. Happenin, a much less talented foe than Magnius Velerius. New-LExington tied St Happenin in their first meeting, 0-0 but we should be able to take this match.

Rordia

04-05-2006, 16:11

RORDIA - DESTINATION NMS
Part 7: Halfway There

Rordia were sent crashing back to Earth after a 0-0 draw with Anathematic Republics.
In the last round, Rordia shocked the world by beating 2-0. But the Anathematic Republics defence was too hard for the Rordians to break. Then again, our defence also held out pretty well.
Before the game, manager Neil van der Wal (he doesn't want to be Sir Neil anymore) noticed that the Rordia shirts were a bit lighter in colour than normal. The blue shirts were now cyan! He asked: "Who put white clothes in the laundry basket?"
Rordia had a serious injury concern in the 68th minute, when Simon Vance went down injured clutching his thigh. The national team physio has revealed that Vance has torn his thigh ligaments and could be out for quite some time. Vance is one of Rordia's most-capped players, and up until this match, he had played every minute of this qualifying campaign.
And so, we are halfway through the World Cup 28 qualifiers. As it stands, our bid to qualify for our first World Cup looks likely to end in failure. We currently have nine points from six games. We've got two wins (vs Nebuleux and Bedistan), three draws (vs Virginia Nova, Narbithia and Anathematic Republics) and one defeat (vs Hypocria). Our next game is at home to Hypocria - currently on the same number of points as Rordia, but with an inferior goal difference.

LINE-UP: O'Leary; Craig, Robertson, Harrold, Khan (Davidson); Mirren, Vance (van der Wal), Farrell (Badger), Parkinson; Brick, Hartnell. Booked: Harrold, Vance, Parkinson.

OTHER RESULTS:
Bedistan 2 Hypocria 1
Nebuleux 3 Narbithia 0

OFFICIAL: WE HAVE WEAK LEGS
Scientists have worked out why broken legs are becoming regular in Rordian football.
Apparantely, nearly half of all Rordians are born with weaker legs than normal. That means their legs are easier to break. Professer Ronan Howard said: "Rordian legs are weaker than legs in other countries. Why this is the case, I do not have the answer to. We have over 60 cases of Rordian leg flu. In other countries, broken legs are much, much rarer."
So far, Rordian leg flu has 'infected' 67 players, forced over 30 to retire, and it has even crippled seven! Scientists are now working on a cure to reduce the number of cases of leg flu.

The Lowland Clans

04-05-2006, 16:31

GRAHAM CITY SUN - Sports Section
Stars Give Solid Outing

GRAHAM CITY - The Stars came off a tough loss to Krytenia and an uneven first half of the qualifying campaign to make a statement against upstart Tynelia, who has been most likely the best team in this qualifying group. Stjepan, under fire for the uneven performance despite the success against Turori and close match away against Krytenia, has been training with the national team on the basics of the Stars formation. Ball movement, vision and passing were all part of a tough traning regimen that Stjepan subjected the Stars to before their game against Tynelia.

The Stars showed that they took Stjepan's lessons to heart by scoring early and keeping the pressure on. In the 9th minute, Ryley Bloudin stole a pass in the midfield and blew past a flatfooted Tynelian defence to fire a rocket from about ten yards out past keeper Amy Whiteworth. Whiteworth, who had looked a little sluggish while repelling a near assault right off the kickoff, rebounded after that, and managed a couple of brilliant stops against Jon Kavanagh and Philip Konstantinoppolis throughout the first half. The Stars played an excellent half, keeping the ball moving and giving the Tynelian midfield a hard time keeping a man to the ball, and the wearing effect of chasing the ball throughout the midfield showed as the Stars nearly put in another goal in injury time.

the secon half however, renewed the Tynelians and they pressed the attack, but the defence of Markoff, de Olivera and Hughson played remarkably fluid defence, and earned some goodwill with many critics who were weary of them after the loss to Geisenfried. They repelled the attacks without the Tynelians getting many serious chances, and then the Stars were back in control, though the defence and midfield of the Tynelians were boosted by the halftime break, and repulsed many of the Stars attacks and kept the ball in the midfield. Analyst James McGowan said after the game on his show "Football World," that this was a good result for the Stars. "With this win in our pockets, the Stars are going into a home match against Turori with a quite a bit of confidence and the solid defending and performance by the midfield, and the victory in Turori on the first matchday, seven seeks ago.

THE LOWLAND CLANS - 1
Bloudin: 9th

TYNELIA - 0

Look Back At First Half of WC Qualifying
James McGowan, Football World

Well, here in Group 15, the word of the campaign has been consistency. Every team has lacked it, except maybe the Tynelians, who have been consistently tough to beat. Turori opened the campaign with a loss to the hungry and eager Stars, and then proceeded to settle down after a tie with Algal States. Krytenia has been the most consistent, despite the 3-2 upset by Turori. Tynelia has had a marvelous campaign, as well as Geisenfried, and look for them to succeed in the coming cups. But when you get down to it, it really is a battle between Turori, Krytenia, and the Lowland Clans for the two qualifying spots. With only three points seperating first from second through fourth, each team will be hard pressed to try to trip Krytenia up. This leg, Krytenia will be playing most of their key games against the top four away from home, which could be a problem for the top seeds.

I believe however, that the most important games will be the ones that open the second qualifying leg. Another victory over Turori and a revenge against Geisenfried, and the Stars might very well have locked up a qualifying spot. With the shorter qualifying schedule, the Stars have less opportunity to bungle things before it really starts to hurt their qualifying chances. Given their first match and the results of the last matchday, that Turori will fall to the Stars in Nicosia, where the Stars will play in City Square, one of the finest venues for football. The wild card throughout all of this is Tynelia. If they continue their strong performance, they could very well challenge The Stars and Eels to the spots.

For the Stars, the key to all of this will be a consistent high level of play throughout the field. The defence has been holding up quite nicely considering the Stars previous history, while the midfield once again continues to be the defining part of Stjepan's strategies. Without a powerful midfield that controls the game, the Stars cannot get anything moving, as we saw in the Geisenfried match. A strong performance from Mackenzie or Krosti will be key in the Stars overcoming their propensity for failure.

Cuation

04-05-2006, 16:31

Tudor Attacked!

The highly respected manager of Tynelia was attacked moments after his shocking victory over the 24th ranked the team in the world. A highly respected manager who has overseen good progress in this national team was attacked by the ex manager Seamus Flannigan O’Connell. Reports are that he will recover from the wounds but for now, Tynelia must fight on.

The Cuation nation wishes them and Mr Tudor well.

Squornshelous Fans Fury Too Far!

A great game was ruined by the home fans, chucking food at defender Hargreves and at the ref. Ok so the ref was poor and should be hung up by his feet then have eggs chucked at him but if someone had thrown poorly, a player might have got hurt.

Meanwhile only Cuation fans should chuck things at Hargreves on the grounds that he is inept. The home fans saw the greatest moment that the poor defender has ever had and ruined it.

Lisburn Mateys

04-05-2006, 16:39

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
Mateys Collapse!!

The Mateys today buckled under the pressure of a surprising strong Oglethorpia team. The Mateys managment seemed to change tactics and did a slight squad rotation, with Captain David Armstrongb getting a rest with 19 year old Christopher Reims taking his place on the left side of the defence and also 20 year old James Curry up front for the injured Amusi Akobyi.
They hoped that the young legs of some of these players would be too much for the oldies of Oglethorpia, but the Oglethorpian's experience won in the end.

The first goal came early on after Reims was caught high up pitch Luud van Mistletoe to run into the box and score past keeper Brian Livingston.

The Mateys did have chances with Keith Livingston providing the forwards with plenty of good balls but the strickers seemed to have left their shooting boots at home which will surly delight Mateys player of the year Richard Dougherty who hasnt kicked a ball after a disappointing BoF tournament.

The second goal came from a freekick which took a dflection off the wall, leaving Livingston helpless in goal.
The third goal came after the Oglethorpian's held their nerve when Livingston had joined the attck after looking fed up with wasted chances by the forwards, the Oglethorpian's regained posession and passed it around Gregg Gregg and allowing Harry Falls to get a shot off, which went in surprisng even him.

Final Score
Oglethorpia 3 - 0 Lisburn Mateys
Luud van Mistletoe - 7, 37
Harry Falls - 53

The race for 2nd place is definatly on though with Sarzonia beating Milchama and are the only team that havent lost in the group so far. Khenas are just playing for pride now.

The Macabees

04-05-2006, 17:26

The Curse....Broken?
Minute '14
Kíem Tan could already see his companion, Franz Siedlitz, grow tired. It was such a tragedy that such a great player was in such ill form the play. On the opposite wing Telarain was just as jovial as always, ready to pump goals into the foe's net. But it hadn't worked out that way, and Siedlitz, much to his dispair, had lost the ball to the adversary's defense. Tan could remember that exact moment, as his lips whisphered the word 'shit' and Franz' head kicked back in dispair and he shut his eyes and prayed to God. God obviously was not on their side at this exact moment, although events later in the game would serve to disprove such rubbish. A quick pass to one of the Nanakalandian wingers managed to put the man in a situation where he had almost nothing stopping him. The goal was marvelous, Tan had to admit, and Argentín could not stop it. The game was already going badly. Nanakaland was winning one to two, and it seemed as if the curse had not been lifted. What a shame Tan thought. As he trotted back to his half of the field he heard a wistle in the distance. Siedlitz was being pulled out. Poor man. As his friend approached the sideline Tan said, "When you come back in I want to see some goals young man!"

Siedlitz laughed, "Yea well, make me younger then."

Shaking his head Tan chuckled and kept on trotting. The other man had already been replaced. His position as center foward was taken by Jaq Qurol, an untested but vigorous young player who had a powerful leg and a very good shot. He was just a little trigger happy at times. He shook his hand and prepared for a counterattack.

Unfortunately, it would take some time to come. For the rest of the first half the game spread back and forth with neither side making any significant gains. The only major event was a yellow card to Telarain, and three very scary situations that could have been a major upset for the Golden-Whites. By the end of the first half the game was still one to zero.

Highwater Mark for Nanakaland
The crowd went absolutely wild as Tan passed the ball to Telarain. The kick had put the sphere right over the head of the defense, and it landed a few meters away from Telaraíns foot. This was when Fez' genius really struck. With a quick bycicle he was able to get around the defender and clear a path right to the net. From outside the kitchen he he powered the ball and it swung into the left area of the goalbox. The enemy goalkeeper had never seen it coming. He had dived too short. All along the stadium the crowd shouted Fez' name and waved in upstart patriotism the Imperial flag. The Black Eagle had struck back! Telarain himself took off his shirt and waved it around as he complemented himself and he ran into the goalbox, took the ball by the hands, and placed it in the center of the field. It was the first Imperial victory of the night, and it had been rather spectacular. The game was tied.

Out of emotion Kíem Tan charged his compatriot and hugged him in delight, in the standard football fashion of course. But that was not all. The untested Qurol put a second goal in four minutes later, taking advantage of the mesmerised Nanakalandi defense. The game's fate had been sealed. The Empire had won its fourth straight game, and through the later night's events it was truth! The Empire had elevated itself to the third position in the group! Moreover, it was tied with Commerce Heights! Things were beginning to look up. But it would take effort and tenacious desire to keep such a roll, they all knew it. And they could never underestimate their opponent. The Empire had been through too many upsets to do that. But for now they had won the game!

When the referee blew the whistle the entire ranks of Golden-Whites went up in shouts as the crowd supplemented them. They huddled and congratulated themselves, forgetting that they would have to go through intensive preperations for the next games in any case. Right now it was time to celebrate!

Cuation

04-05-2006, 19:13

Cuation throw away 3 points!

2-2 against struggling Five Civilized Nations when at home and entering the half way mark isn't bad enough, Cuation where 2-0 up at half time. Had the score stayed like that, Cuation would have a little room spare to slip up. Bettia lost against the group leaders and must be expecting to seize second place soon. Chuck Norris is also in the chasing pack, looking to take advantage of any slip.

It isn't all doom and gloom for Cuation, unbeaten in five games, three wins and two draws and the second best defence in the group and the hottest attack. Anyway it was the attack that impressed at first against the FCN, playing possession football until Ashton found space. Dummying to cross, he shot towards the near post. The keeper hadn't got it covered, the ball slipping in-between the gap of the keeper's dive and the post. 1-0 up, five minutes gone.

Cuation wasted chances, Milnar blazing over when clear, Rual's shots when clear where to close the unnamed keeper. Giovanni showboated too much, often losing the ball or his long rangers going nowhere. Ashton's thumping efforts where the closest but the keeper was equal to them.

In the 34th minute, Gary Cole's long cross was headed out but only as far as Giovanni. This time the show boating paid off, easily going past some poor defenders, rounding the keeper twice before chipping the ball over a defender rushing to block and into the net. 2-0

Cuation played the rest of the half out though Rual Mendiz managed to hit the bar with a snap shot. At half time, the team where content and in the second half, played the ball around, not seemingly bothered to attack. Cuation has done this before but at only 2-0, this was a risky game to play.

In the 71st minute, Rio and Number 8 contest a loose ball with Rio failing to win the ball. The number 8 tried a shot from around 20 yards but it lacked power and was too close to Gary Jens. The on form keeper hadn't had a save to make which might explain his slow reaction, fumbling the shot into the net.

Still Raul Mendiz and Giovanni came off for Anderton and Keane, perhaps to add some urgency to the attack. It didn't work, the 80th minute seeing the home fans shocked. Cheese showed his inexperience, trying to play the ball across the back line, it was intercepted by the Number 9. Clear on goal, he hammered the ball past a helpless Jens.

Cuation stormed forward for the last ten minutes but found a wall of players blocking them and where unable to build up their old attacking momentum. In fact it was FCN who nearly scored the winner, the number 9 breaking the offside trap but firing wide of goal.

Half Time review

6 games played by each time, half way through the pilgramige to the church lands. Who will go through to the promised land and who will drop out to the CoH? Some answers are emerging but group 4 is really tight at the top.

Squornshelous 14 points, GD +8

The top seed are unbeaten at the top of the group with three wins and two draws, one against Cuation and the other against FCN. A mere five goals conceded is good but they will be annoyed at only 13 goals scored, despite being one of the top scorer's in the group.

The team will grind its way to an early qualification

Cuation 11 points, GD +5

An early loss to Bettia then saw Cuation win the next three matches with brutal ease. Now they have gone five games unbeaten but not won in the last two, failing to beat FCV and deserving to lose against Squornshelous. Being the top socreres in the group with 14 and a mean defence conceded just 9, the joint second best in the group.

Starting to drop form, will lose at home against Bettia then drop down the table till a late run of form pulls Cuation to third place

Bettia 10 points, GD +0

This team should be doing better, scoring 13 goals but conceding an amazing 14, a record only Burning Penguins are beating. Tighten up that defence and they could easily get into second place.

Beats Cuation in next match and proceeds to pull away with the second place with the defence in better form.

Mr Chuck Norris 10 points GD +1

Decent defence and decent attack, have proved to be a good side. CNN have provided great coverage of their matches with Bob Janney getting them to punch above their weight but they don't seem to quite have the ability to last the pace.

Finish fourth as lack of expirence and over reliance on Chuck Norris costs them in the run in. Get a good bost in the rankings anyway to make up for it

Five Civilized Nations 9 points GD +2

Nobody knows anything about them but they have managed three draws and suffering one defeat. If they can turn draws into wins then they stand a chance of advancing but I'm not sure they are anywhere near good enough.

Teams work out how to beat them and they stay in 5th place.

Burning Penguins 4 points GD -9

A win and a draw for this poor side are the extent of their achivments. A mere five goals and 14 goals conceded shows its own story, the second worst attack and the worst defence givesn them the worst goal diffirence. Already pretty much out of the cup, they can only attempt to prevent further humliation

Struggle and just avoid finishing bottom

Slakaj 0 points and GD -7

No points in unfair on a defence that has conceded only 9 goals, the same as Cuation. Only two goals has prevented them from achiving sucess and I don't that improving soon. A solid enough side for their ranking, they will hope to gain points

Wooden spoon for this lot

Cataduanes

04-05-2006, 19:22

Islanders falter

After such a good start to the proceedings the Islanders failed to kill off Bazalonia after going upin the 43rd minute via a curling freekick by Toni Souletano. The visitors however came out for the second half and dug deep, closing down the Islanders quickly and striking fast, in the chaos the Islanders concentration slipped and in the 55th minute Peter "Wolfie" Hobble ran unchallenged into the box and slotted the ball under the torso of Jose Sullop for the equalizer. The visitors goal seem to knock the wind right out of the Islanders and soon the match became a bad tempered affair that reached its peak in the 63rd minute when Lopez Cerro was red carded for a brutal two footed tackle in the box on Victor Boney, the subsequent penalty was scored by Peter "Wolfie" Hobble, the Estadio Nacional was utterly silenced by the turn of events and down to 10 men the Islanders were forced to weather the Bazalonians constant attacks. However the home side held there ground and held out to lose 2-1, a result that led a dissappointed coach Jose Manua to cancel the post match press conference.
The upset was tempered however by FMj Phoenix's suffering a 2-1 loss at home to Wentland, a side who despite there inconsistency so far certainly have ability. With both the top 2 sides losing the Islanders maintain a 3 point lead over the Vikings and a 5 point gap seperates Cataduanes from Wentland and Bazalonia.

GROUP 12 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Cataduanes 6 5 0 1 16 5 11 15
Fmjphoenix 6 4 0 2 10 4 6 12
Wentland 6 3 1 2 12 7 5 10
Bazalonia 6 3 1 2 8 8 0 10
New-Lexington 6 1 2 3 7 9 -2 5
Magnus Valerius 6 2 0 4 8 14 -6 6
St. Happenin 6 0 2 4 3 17 -14 2

Kirstiriera

04-05-2006, 20:10

Group 14 has gotten a little bit tighter at this time with a win and a draw in the last two matches. The upset draw in Matchday 6 was not as well played as much would have you believe... Too many chances for the Green Angels slipped by in the last two matches. The Angels need to get things back together against the Maccabees and for the revenge match against the Casari bunch. The defence lately has been a bit more sloppy than usual especially at home... Hopefully this time, the Angels may pull out a few more grand upsets again by the end and still play to the best potential.

The Angels are in fourth place with 10 points in Group 14 for WC 28 Qualification at the half way point...The return legs are going to be telling if the Angels have prepared enough to make the next step on the journey...

Squornshelous

04-05-2006, 21:36

Pschychoes Stay on Top

A win over Bettia leaves us comfortably ahead halfway through qualifying
Vasili Petrov found his form again in matchday seven, scoring one goal and contributing an important pass to set up another. He and Iannis Xenakis dominated the Bettian defense, which has been somewhat suspect in many matches to this point.

The scoring was opened after a brilliant shot from Xenakis was punched clear by Riardo DiTorino. The ball fell at the feet of Petrov, who was outside towards the corner. As the defense realigned to defend him, he spotted Goran Syvatov standing alone at the top of the box. He sent a perfect pass right to Syvatov's feet and Goran burried it in the back of the net.

Bettia's 24 year old keeper was sorely tested throughout the first half, and while he performed well for the most part, no one could have stopped 100% of the shots raining down on the Bettian goal. In the 41st minute, DiTorino was beaten again, this time by Iannis Xenakis, who had broken free for a one-on-one. Xenakis, who has proven very calm and effective in these situations thus far, faked a quick shot to the right to freeze the keeper and then lofted the ball toward the left corner. DiTorino recovered quickly from his flinch, but the damage had already been done.

Following halftime, Bettia appeared to have addressed a few of their problems, and were able to control the ball much more effectively, making smarter and cleaner passes in midfield. Eventually, young Oleg Petrov was caught out of position by one of those passes and Chris Hutton broke in on the defense. He was immediately challenged by Squornshelous' much maligned center defender Joseph Kaizers, and to the delight of the home crowd, the ball was knocked well clear before Hutton stumbled; a clean tackle. However, Bettia was not quite done with this particular attack. As Kaizers recovered, and moved to clear it, the dangerous Judson York swept by and took possesion of the ball. Alan Dymek raced to cut him off, but York fired as soon as he saw an opportunity and beat Timothy Purcell to bring the Aurora's within one.

However, it was still Vasili Petrov's day to shine, and he siezed the opportunity soon after. A mismatch that Squornshelous had been hoping to exploit all match was finally tested. The talented, but somewhat internationally inexperienced Jon McKinnon's position as Bettia's left back made him the man responsible for keeping Vasili Petrov in check, and while he was up to the task for most of the match, one lapse was all it took for Petrov to make him pay.

As the ball was making it's way back out of the Squornshelan zone, Petrov was waiting a couple meters shy of the McKinnon. As Goran Syvatov handled the ball, Petrov saw him look up, and took off down the line. He reached McKinnon, who was just starting to react to his move, exactly as Syvatov kicked the ball. The sprinting forward was throught the defensive line in a flash and had a one-on-one with the keeper. With no hesitation, Petrov hammered the ball low into the near corner, where its skipped off of DiTorino's hands and into the net.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 3-1 Bettia

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Petrov: 4
Xenakis: 4
Harris: 2
Syvatov: 2
Khabarov: 1

Starblaydia

04-05-2006, 22:21

From Lopez's Frontal Lobe
An eye over Starblaydia's qualifying so far
by Ex-Starblaydi International and WC President Giovanni Lopez

Starblaydia's matches so far have consisted of five wins, a loss and a very odd experience in the dreamed realm, of which I was fortunate enough to be part of.

While still under contract to write FL2, a group of right-thinking Football Associations decided to vote me in as the President of the World Cup Committee, succeeding the legendary Simeone Di Bradini. How fitting that I, the scorer of the winning goal in World Cup 25's Final in Extra Time against Rejistania, should succeed one of Starblaydia's most famous strikers into this position. I also played on the right wing too, don't forget.

However, one's journalistic responibilities cannot be lightly tossed aside even in the face of such a prestigious task. Therefore FL2 will become something of a Diary of a President, serialised online at giovannilopez.com/fl2 and in the Jhanna Chronicle.

It was by special invitation from some monk or other that I attended the New Montreal States versus Starblaydia match in The Archregimancy. An excruciatingly-long piece that one can only describe as two wasted hours of my life was made up for by a thrilling three-all draw over the following ninety minutes. I, for one, desperately hope that Starblaydia's Finals matches are all played in New Montreal States. It may be reality, but it doesnt suck as much as the monks of the Archregimancy's matrix-thing.

Starblaydia have harpooned Squids, sent Fmjphoenix-wannabes packing, shut down Vuam and Isma, "Dasha'd" Gaspland and even lost, somehow, to Harlesburg in what must be their greatest result ever: 2-0 in Starblaydia. Johan Keifner sunk Praying2God's own zealots too on Starblaydia's last official matchday before the break.

My good friend, the legend that is Menecrates, has confirmed that he will be pulling on a special number twenty-four shirt for when Starblaydia welcome the Paladins to Starblaydi soil for the second of their two-match friendly series.

First in the Group, and first by five whole points, after defeating their nearest challengers Praying2God is the current situation for the team ranked third in the world. Starblaydia, by rights, should qualify from this group as its winners with at least two matchdays to go, such is the lack in quality of their opponents.

I remain Giovanni Lopez, the World Cup Committee President. Nice ring to it.

Former Striker and Right-Winger Giovanni Lopez, 39, is a winner of both World Cup 25 and Under-21 World Cup 14, one of the magical Starblaydi 'Golden Generation'. He captained the Under-21s for U21WC17 and played for Starblaydia in World Cup 24 and 25. He scored the winning goal in the Final against Rejistania in extra time, for which he is most vividly remembered and thanked. He was voted in as World Cup President to serve from World Cups 27 to 30. His opinions stated herein are, thankfully, his own.

Anastasiania

04-05-2006, 22:29

Anastasiania Crawling Upwards
Record First Win Against Remote Islands

After two initial losses, things are looking up for the young Anastasianian side, who are nevertheless heading straight for elimination from World Cup 28. The team is unbeaten in their last four games, with the highlight a 1-1 draw in Legalese on matchday four, but it wasn't until the team beat Remote Islands last week that things really started looking up. At present, Anastasiania is in fourth place with seven scored goals - only Audioslavia, who are looking fairly unbeatable at present, have made more in Group Five.

With the halfway stage reached, Anastasiania have one final chance of making the World Cup - which would be outstanding for such an inexperienced team - and it involves the away match in Qazox. Qazox are currently four points ahead on the table, after a thumping 2-0 victory in Legalese, and are looking on great form, as even coach Ylva Pettersdotter admitted: "It's going to be a very tough match in Qazox. We've probably not come up against anything like that yet - I think we need to come up with some psychological training, because I don't think the team is ready for the crowds in Qazox just yet." Regardless, Pettersdotter refused to think that the year would be over with a loss, emphacising the need to build a strong team for future commitments.

Meanwhile, Anastasianian football coaches have been clamoring for the selection of 17-year-old Andrew Lewis, whose ball technique is rumoured to be "second to none". Lewis is yet to appear outside of Division 2, where he plays for Chesterton F.K., but he's scored 18 goals from his midfield position, and made a hat-trick yesterday. However, Chesterton manager Gilbert Keith refused to comment, saying that Lewis needed to concentrate on next week's grudge match against Eirdesville.

Raging Penguins

04-05-2006, 22:50

The National Informant

The Team in a Slump?

After two games without losing, The Team is wondering whether or not they've lost their touch. After months of training on how to lose, their defence has stopped attacks by both Spaam and Spaamanian Plijous. Though they still haven't scored a single goal, they've stopped losing, which is worrying to everybody, especially our taxpayers.

"If they start winning, they'll probably demand better uniforms, maybe something with 'Raging Penguins Football League' on it." Says Miranda Straller, a grocer, "If they start winning, we'll probably get bad press if we line them all up and shoot them. Which is, of course, the governments plan."

After the last game, in which Spaamanian palyers found themselves held up at gunpoint by The Team's Midfielders, most players were unavailable for comment, having gone into a disreputable bar to celebrate their lack of a loss. However, as they came off the military weapons testing site where they held their practice, we managed an interview with their captain, The Penguin.
"My men - er, men and woman and several things of indeterminate sex - are very excited about the prospect of not losing," said The Penguin, "We hadn't quite realised that weapons don't actually have to be used to be effective, and this realization has opened a lot of doors for us."

As Devious Penguin put it: "SquaaWe're heading over to that [censored] weapons depot to retrieve the [censored] [censored] AK-[censored]-47's we hid there because we [censored] thought we [censored] couldn't [censored] use any in the [censored] World Cupaaark." He had more to say, but it would have been censored out anyway, so we decided to leave most of what he said out of this family newspaper.

As The Team has a rest-day, they have been trying out various methods of intimidation, warning-shots, non-fatal attacks, and flashy poses. So far, The Penguin has failed to be imposing due to his ridiculous penguin suit, Devious Penguin and Mostly Mouths are struggling with the concept of "Non-fatal attack", and Willie Dee is attempting to teach his hair how to act in a non-violent manner.

In their next match, against The Emperialist, they'll lose, of course, like last time. But they expect to put up a good fight(or a dirty, underhanded and utterly unfair street brawl to be more accurate), and lose by a small margin. As Furious Porridge exclaimed excitedly after watching the defence gobble up incoming balls: "We're more karelan than Rejistania now!"
(He was later sued by a foriegn newspaper for an unoriginal phrase, and the forward has hired fellow player Ron Absnyl as his attorney.)

A small margin? Bull-[censored]! They'll lose by an astronomical amount!

Milchama

05-05-2006, 00:52

Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Domestic-International-Star-News-Today

Sports Section

Milchama Starstruck

Despite a good first half where the Warriors dominated and had the lead at halftime they could not hold on in the second half as Sarzonia ran rings around them and scored twice, including once in the 88th minute to get the victory. Coach Jamie Smith, "We outplayed them for 45 minutes. Unfortunately a game is not over at the halftime whistle and the next 45 minutes were all theres. They deserved the victory today. This just proves that we need to be more consistent in our play. This do well one game/half and suck the next game/half is not going to cut it. I expect more consistency from our players the second half of qualifying."
There will be no match report as we really can't say much of what the Sarzonians can do to something that our editor called "RP restrictions" although we have no clue what this means. So because of that we shall do another route and look at all the teams and how they have done to the halfway point:

Final Score:
Milchama 1 (Albentine 28)
Sarzonia 2 (Wilson 59, Olson 88)

Group 11 (again):

Sarzonia- Well the first seed has done as expected as they are undeafeated with only two draws through the first half of qualifying. As usual quailfying will be a breeze to them the only question is how far will they go this World Cup?
Milchama- We have been doing ok. We could be doing better but you can never compain if your in second place. The only problem now is complacency which might just happen unfortunately.
Oglethorpia- The old guys have been doing well as they are a suprising third over Giant Zucchini at this stage. The Zucchinis might come back in the second half but one never knows.
Giant Zucchini- This has been a little dissapointing that they are not in third place but we have a feeling they will be rising through the tables soon.
Lisburn Mateys- They have been doing very well for their rank and we expect to be scared of them by WC 31 or so. Hopefully we will be able to get a better result in the second half of qualifying though.
Swilatia- Just like they're knowledge of our country they suck. They are doing terribly as they are in 2nd to last place. They need a quick upswing in results and fast, of course it will never happen.
Khenas- How did we lose to them? HOW!? Those are their only points from the campaign and things are not looking up. WC 29 will hopefully be better for the Mermaids.

Raging Penguins Report:
At the halfway point the most Karelan team in the WC so far (no goals scored, 2 0-0 draws) got the day off. They're two points put them in last place but things are looking up and we expect them to actually score against the Emperialist.

Milchama Man of the Match:
Yet again it is Floren Albentine as he rampaged through to score another goal to win the game. His defense also stopped Sarzonia from scoring even more goals in that totally one sided second half.

Wentland

05-05-2006, 00:55

Augustus Windsock had seen many things. Wentland's oldest fan had even seen the great John Pearson as a lad.

Pearson once scored when, surrounded by defenders, he played the ball off the ref in a one-two before finishing.

Windsock smiled when, in the dying minutes, a rejuvenated John Capper repeated the trick. Fmjphoenix defenders appealed for a foul in vain as Capper - magic throughout - created space to score his second and wrap up a wonderful win.

That Capper, thought Windsock...something familiar about him...

Alasdair I Frosticus

05-05-2006, 01:18

Nouvelle Angleterre 2 Alasdair I Frosticus 2

Yet again, residents of ordinary physical reality may have had the following dream last night. Once again, the Holy Empire Football Association would like to apologise for any disruption.

"Basil!"

"Theo!"

"What do you know about these Nouvelle Angleterre chappies?"

"Je sais qu'ils sont Anglais, mais ils parlent Francais - c'est bien bizarre, non?"

"Whaaaa?"

"Oh honestly, Theo, you monoglots are so boring...."

"Maybe, but at least I don't think I'm a French speaking Englishman."

"So you did understand...."

"Maybe I did, Basil, but surely that's irrelevant. Let's look at last night's match highlights - could the lads finally snatch another win?"

----------------------------------
[first half]

"....mindless random violence. And sex, of course. Loads of sex."

"We'll just stop your insightful commentary on the Old Testament there, Basil, to look at what's happening on the pitch. Tzimisces passes to Tzimisces, who cuts inside... and is fouled inside the box! Penalty to the Holy Empire! It's taken by Tzimisces, who scores! Goal to the Holy Empire! And the lads take a 1-0 lead after 20 minutes."

[later that half]

"....hippie socialist commune led by a charismatic Middle Easterner encourage people to give up their belongings, help the needy, and cure the sick - only for the forces of capitalist imperialism to oppress and execute their leader. One of the local collaborators with the Imperialist order then switches sides and helps to spread the commune's message"

"And is that your insightful - if rather miracle free - analysis of the New Testament, Basil?"

"Nah... it's the plot of my latest novel - I think it's a strikingly original story bound to take the world by storm"

"Maybe, Basil, but the Holy Empire have won another corner! Tzimisces sends it in, there's a goal-mouth scramble... and Tzimisces scores! 2-0 to the Holy Empire after 36 minutes, and that's more like it."

"But back to my novel, Theo.... It all starts when the hero's mother meets this rebellious young carpenter called Joseph. His eyes burn with unrequited passion, but soon he finds out that his beloved is already pregnant. He struggles with his conscience, but eventually..."

--------------------------------------------

[second half]

"... which is the point where the protagonist climbs on top of a small hill, or mount, and starts to deliver a homily - a sermon if you will - about how the capitalist oppressors may control the means of production, but that the meek and peaceful will eventually find their just reward once the new order is established."

"Fascinating Basil, but back on the pitch, the opposition seem to have finally worked out how to play against the Simulacra, and are looking a much better side, and with 55 minutes gone have won a dangerous free kick, and... they score. But it's still 2-1 to the Holy Empire. Can they hang on?"

[much later]

"...so after Saul - who now calls himself Paul, symbolising his change of heart - switches sides, he helps the underground movement communicate with their outlier cells in Antioch, Corinth, Phillipi, Galatia and Thessalonica before taking his message to the metropolitan centre of the Imperial order, where he too is executed, but - in his role as a sort of Che Guevara of the movement - the groundwork he's helped establish guarantees that the new religio-socio-political order championed by the protagonist's followers eventually gains total control of the world system some 300 years later. The end. Is the match still going on?"

"Sorry? What? I must have fallen asleep. The sound of your droning voice is so soothing, Basil. Ermm.... seems that the match is in fact over... Nouvelle Angleterre scored a late equaliser... match ends 2-2... Still only one win for the campaign."

-------------------------------

"So, found a publisher, Basil?"

"Not yet, Theo - but if I do, I'll be sure to let you know. It'll take the world by storm, I tell you!"

Geisenfried

05-05-2006, 01:20

Konigseifert Chronicle

Geisenfried Looks Toward Second Half of Qualifying
Progress must be continued for the Golden Eagles

Well ladies and gentleman, so concludes the first half of World Cup 28 qualifying , likely to go down as one of the most unpredictable World Cup qualifications to date. Early on, upsets were rampant, and relative unknowns, including us, for a brief period of time, held the top of the division. However, as the second half begins, it seems that things are levelling out, as top teams begin to reassert their dominance.

But before we go on to the next half, we'd like to take a moment, while the Golden Eagles are on bye, to review the unpredictable last half of the tournament in Qualifying Division 15, where the Geisenfried Golden Eagles have been making their run for qualification into the 28th World Cup. Being a bit prideful, we here at the Konigseifert Chronicle, would like to mention how accurate (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10845779&postcount=42) we were concerning our predicted positions within the group. Only the goal difference between Turori and The Lowland Clans prevent us from being completely right. However, there's still a half of a qualifier to go, so we'll try and cut the boasting here.

Anyways, a look at the division and matches so far:

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/krytenia.jpg
Krytenia
Last Match: Krytenia 2, Geisenfried 0
Current Divisional Standing: 4-1-1, 13 pts, +6 GD, 1st Place
Notes: Krytenia has been playing strong, though they drawed the Algal States due to lack of effort, and suffered a recent loss to Turori. However, they are still on top of the group, and little suggests that it'll change. The game between Geisenfried and Krytenia was marked by the early strikes by Krytenia, followed by heavy defense for the Aces to stop any comeback. If the Golden Eagles want a shot, they'll have to up their level of defensive play early to prevent early strikes, and also need some more push from the offense.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/turori.jpg
Turori
Last Match: Turori 2, Geisenfried 0
Current Divisional Standing: 3-1-2, 10 pts, +2 GD, 2nd Place
Notes: Turori, though slumping early, has seen a sort of resurrection, coming from the bottom back up into the upper ranks. How long they remain there is a major question. The match between Geisenfried and Turori was marked with Turori goals towards the end of the halves, when players were more fatigued. Early strikes and key replacements should help in our rematch bid.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/the_lowland_clans.jpg
The Lowland Clans
Last Match: Geisenfried 1, The Lowland Clans 0
Current Divisional Standing: 3-1-2, 10 pts, +1 GD, T3rd Place
Notes: The Lowland Clans has been on and off during qualifications, winning easily some days, then completely failing other days. They have still retained a high place in the standings though, and probably will still take one of the qualifying spots. Geisenfried needs to repeat its performance in its stunning upset of the Lowland Clans, while making sure to adjust to any modifications made to the Lowland Clan team.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/east_timor.jpg
Tynelia
Last Match: Tynelia 2, Geisenfried 0
Current Divisional Standing: 3-1-2, 10 pts, +1 GD, T3rd Place
Notes: Tynelia has been playing a strong cup, and the rankings show. Unsurprisingly, Tynelia's two losses have come from top divisional teams, though they had an unexpected draw with Talmeria. A continuing strong performance might land them a World Cup qualification. In their last match, Geisenfried was a bit too overconfident, and they lost to the Tynelians handedly. Level-headedness will be key in the next matchup.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/geisenfried.jpg
Geisenfried
Current Divisional Standing: 2-1-3, 7 pts, -4 GD, 5th Place
Notes: I don't think anyone in Geisenfried's too disappointed with this performace in the World Cup qualifiers, though the goal difference could definitely improve. If Geisenfried can make the proper adjustments against their opponents and continue to play strong, you never know what might happen...

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/canada--53.jpg
Algal States
Last Match: Geisenfried 1, Algal States 1
Current Divisional Standing: 1-3-2, 6 pts, -1 GD, 6th Place
Notes: The Algal States is doing so-so in this World Cup, either losing by a noticeable margin, or drawing. Notably, they've managed to score draws against some of the top division teams like Krytenia, a sign that they might be dangerous the second time around. Geisenfried's last match against Algal States was for the most part in Geisenfried's hands, but a late rally turned three points into one. Should be a reminder to Geisenfried to play all 90 minutes. If they do, a win is very probable.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/talmeria.jpg
Talmeria
Last Match: Geisenfried 1, Talmeria 0
Current Divisional Standing: 0-2-4, 2 pts, -5 GD, 7th Place
Notes: Currently the divisional punching bag, Talmeria has yet to win, and its two draws were because their opponents were playing lacklusterly. Expect them to keep themselves locked in the cellar. Geisenfried scored a win last time, and should this time as well.

Schedule
Geisenfried 1-0 Talmeria
Geisenfried 1-0 The Lowland Clans
Geisenfried 0-2 Tynelia
Krytenia 2-0 Geisenfried
Turori 2-0 Geisenfried
Geisenfried 1-1 Algal States
Bye
Talmeria at Geisenfried
The Lowland Clans at Geisenfried
Tynelia at Geisenfried
Geisenfried at Krytenia
Geisenfried at Turori
Algal States at Geisenfried

The next game for Geisenfried will be in Bischoff, against current 7th place Talmeria.

Schiavonia

05-05-2006, 01:27

The Schiavone Scribe
STAYING O-LIVE
Oliverry 4-1 Schiavonia

Schiavonia predictably lost in Oliverry last night, sending them falling down the group to a lowly fifth place, albeit only two points behind the magic second position.

Which got us realising... we're not the only side this cup who've performed dismally below expectations (on the whole, anyway.) So instead of reporting more bad news, here's a few others' plights and how the reactions back home have been.

Liverpool England (3rd, Group Two)
They might have been to the last two World Cup Finals, but LivEng are not enjoying the best of it right now. Defeats against former giants Kaze Progressa and Dance2Revolution and a draw against lowly Homieville have seen the Terminators struggle of late. The reaction at home has been so drastic, that they've barely announced it onto the world stage. Probably a mix of ignorant and amusing.

Vilita (7th, Group Two)
Winners of World Cup 20, dead last in the qualifying group at 28. There's more chance of Vejar qualifying than this lot... no, wait... you're kidding me! The Vilitan press seem to have just given up, and with their glorious history, I wouldn't blame them!

Spaam (4th, Group Eight)
After a good run to the knockout stages last time out, the Waffles have only six points from six games, are seven behind Ariddia in second place, and even lost a friendly against Schiavonia. So things must be bad, and they are. Spaaming (or maybe waffling?) could well be back with us through the second half of qualifying, as they try to make the gap up to please an angry public back home.

Schiavonia (5th, Group Nine)
I know, we're fifth, we're sucking at the moment, and we're not overly bothered. The point is just who is above us at this stage. Is it any of the up-and-coming teams like CRO and Kelse. Nope, it's Vejar and Tinsuvilia! I know, I can't quite believe that myself!

Nanakaland (7th, Group Fourteen)
Though not in the top two ranked teams in Group 14, you would still expect the Nanakabirds to be at least competitive. But no. Played six, lost six, minus 10 goal difference and only saved from being worst team in the entire cup on goals scored! The silence eminating from their press due to embarrasement is deafening.

So there you go. There are others out there who are having worse times of it than us. Though not many. There's still a long way to go though, so bring on McPsychoville!

Although we beat them seven-nil last time out, so they'll want revenge. And they're in need of the points, too.

Better chalk us down for another defeat. Especailly as Schiavones are advised against travelling on safety grounds.

Swilatia

05-05-2006, 01:33

http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/3532/sbc34jz.gif
At the bottom for now...
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/giant_zucchini.jpg Giant Zucchini 2 - 0 Swilatia http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/swilatia.jpg

Man, being at the bottom sucks. espcially when its time when we should be on the top. I just can't believe we lost when we hadd a perfect strategy for defeating giant zucchini. and we lost. and no we are at sixth place. That low?? I just can't believe it, anyway I have nothing left to say except the scores, which were 0-2. Thats right, we didn't score a point. Not one!

Okay, since nothing good happened during the match for us, lets take a look at the real reason. The costoms peple at the airport could not tell whether a pen was really a pen, or a death stick disguised as one, so the mastermind behind our plan to defeat Giant Zuccini its Mitzi, not the coach was deneid entry into Giant Zucchini, just like anone else caught with a red pen. incompentents.

Okay, so I guess I can continue this from here. after our mastermind was turned back, not only were we without a plan, bt we were on player short if what we needed to have, so we had to forfeit if we could not find someone to take Mitzi's place, so we had the coach take his place. and he did terrible as a sriker. we lost.

Anywoy we are just falling every day. maybe if we actually get up, we will shoe the table. I so hope thats the next match.

Mr Chuck Norris

05-05-2006, 02:44

Chuck Norris News
For All Of Your Fighting Norris Coverage

Well, we wouldn't be lying when we said that the Fighting Norris' most recent football match really sucked. It was just some flat out bad playing. Let's put it this way:

Mr Chuck Norris 2 (John Fedo 27, 72)
Burning Penguins 2 (Kerry Eubanks 56, 89)

Now for the severely paraphrased summary:

Match opens, Fighting Norris midfield instantly fails.
After several minutes of decent Fighting Norris defense, "Five-forward" offense of Fighting Norris finally obtains control of ball and charges.
Fighting Norris go up 1-0 in 27th minute when John Fedo ends his slump and scores a goal.
Halftime comes with Fighting Norris up 1-0, but frustrated with underperformance.
Burning Penguins continue to attack, tying up the score 1-1 in the 56th minute.
John Fedo strikes back yet again in 72nd minute, Fighting Norris up 2-1.
Time ticks down, Fighting Norris have it won, begin to slack off, and the Burning Penguins tie it up in the eleventh hour taking the Fighting Norris from three points to one in a matter of seconds.

We'd rather not go into further detail out of frustration.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ouch! We needed that win, it was the difference between a contested third place and a semi-secure second place. I'd like to note one of my earlier comments in a newscast about what I though the rankings in our group would be at this point:

1. Squrornshelous - 16 points
2. Mr Chuck Norris - 12 points
3. Bettia - 12 points
4. Cuation - 10 points
5. Five Civilized Nations - 8 points
6. Burning Penguins - 3 points
7. Slajak - 0 points

Squornshelous has two less points than I predicted because they tied Cuation rather than beating them. Both Bettia and ourselves also have two less points than I predicted as we just drew Burning Penguins instead of winning and Bettia drew Five Civilized Nations instead of deafeating them. Cuation has one more point that expected as they drew Squornshelous instead of losing to them. Five Civilized Nations also has one more point than suspected as they drew Bettia instead of losing to them like I predicted. Burning Penguins, after drawing us rather than losing, are also one point higher than expected.

Long story short, we've got to step it up on the way out of this tourney. We're only one place, better yet, one point out of qualification and I think we can get there through hard work and a little bit of luck. Wish us luck as we march into Five Civilized Nations next matchday to hopefully make a little noise."

World Cup 28 Schedule of the Fighting Norris:
Matchday 1: Vs. Five Civilized Nations (Won 4-2)
Matchday 2: Vs. Squornshelous (Loss 0-2)
Matchday 3: At Bettia (Won 3-1)
Matchday 4: At Cuation (Loss 1-3)
Matchday 5: On Bye
Matchday 6: Vs. Slakaj (Won 1-0)
Matchday 7: Vs. Burning Penguins (Draw 2-2)
Matchday 8: At Five Civilized Nations
Matchday 9: At Squornshelous
Matchday 10: Vs. Bettia
Matchday 11: Vs. Cuation
Matchday 12: On Bye
Matchday 13: At Slajak
Matchday 14: At Burning Penguins

Fighting Norris World Cup 28 Record: (3-1-2)

Haraki

05-05-2006, 04:37

2-2 in Yafor 2
From the Atherlon Times

Sports blurb by Tom Bucket, football correspondent.

As the Hawks travelled to Yafor 2 to play the team from that nation, they managed to pull off a 2-2 tie against the higher-ranked team. Yafor 2 opened the account with a goal at 22 minutes, followed by another at thirty, but Haraki's own Samantha Ribald managed a goal at forty minutes to try and tie it up.

The second half was tense, with the home crowd cheering on Yafor 2's team, but Mike Zendar managed to put away their hopes with a goal at seventy-three minutes. Both teams tried valiantly to score a game-winning point for the rest of time, but the time ran out with a 2-2 draw.

Haraki Hawks' coach Lloyd Vargas was quoted as saying "I think it was a good game. Mike [Zendar] proved once again why he's one of the best forwards out there with a crucial goal, and he's managed to keep us in second place in the group. Since we're done with the top teams, we're on once more to the bottom-ranked three, starting with Alasdair I Frosticus. I'm hoping to see some good play, and I'm proud of the team today. I hope to see us play even better next time against Yafor 2 at home in Atherlon."

New Montreal States

05-05-2006, 04:46

MD9 scores available. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10899278&postcount=8)

[NS]Bazalonia

05-05-2006, 08:38

"What have you heard from the World Cup?" Random Soccer Fan 1

"Nothing, damn BazSports, why don't they just sign the deal?"
Random Soccer Fan 2

"I dunno, It's not like I have the deal in front of me." Random Soccer Fan 1

"You know what, I have a source that says the deal will be signed soon." Random Soccer Fan 3

"Oh, Shut up. we are still waiting to here about the world cup and from the schedule release it's half over." Random Soccer Fan 2

"Did you go to the Magnus Valerius game the other night?" Random Socer Fan 1

"Yeah..." 2

"Yeppers..." 3

"Yeppers?! are you sick man? Unfortunately I wasn't able to go."

"No... Anyway you missed a good game." Random Soccer Fan 3

"Go away..." Random Soccer Fan 1

"Well.. it was a good game. Good right game it was tied for most of the game, We scored an early goal but in the counter Magnus evened it up pretty quick. and it wasn't till the dyeing secconds that the Magnus team could get past Jeffery... Jeff's a great goalie...." Random soccer Fan 2

"Well we are very closely ranked... Do you think they deserved the win?" 1

"Hell.. no we should have at least held out for a draw.. I mean we beat them on their own turf!" 2

"So when is this media blackout going to be over?" 1

"How should I know... I hope it won't be too long...." 2

McPsychoville

05-05-2006, 09:18

The Saga So Far

Fine, we're a bit late with the half-way mark stuff, but that's beside the point. Better late than never when it comes to quality reporting, right? Before you read any further, just bear in mind that the Curse of the Early Goal (capitalised, natch) comes to bear in EVERY SINGLE FREAKING GAME, except when they don't score.

Schiavonia 7-0 McPsychoville

A really, really poor showing from the Psychos. Three players sent off - Brooks, coming on a substitute, Lysiak and debutant Thomas Klein - and not a single goal, or injury to show for it. That's all you really need to know here.

McPsychoville 1-3 Tinsuvilia

The first game we might not have been expected to do well in, but this was a genuine upset. Three Tinsuvilian goals late in the first half crushed all hopes of a Psycho revival, and Damian Lee's goal was no more than a consolation. The final whistle blowing very nearly caused a riot in the stadium, and the Tinsuvilian team were seen bolting into their specially-provided bullet-proof coach.

Bye

Still bottom of the table.

McPsychoville 4-1 CR Oscilloscopes

The Oscilloscopes didn't really put up much of a fight, scoring first but then being overwhelmed. Two goals in the first - both the work of Gabriel Price - effectively secured the win, then Lysiak chipped in with a free-kick and Rebecca Remus added to her growing total late in the second.

McPsychoville 1-1 Vejar

A disappointment after the rout of CRO, but more than once the team looked lucky to end up with a point. Vejar were rampant, beginning the day in the second spot in the table, and could have had more were it not for an inspired O'Shea performance. Again, it was Damian Lee providing the spark for the goal.

Oliverry 2-2 McPsychoville

Unlike the other draws, this one was much less of a disappointment; Oliverry being the top seed in the group meant they were the firm favourites, but a spirited revival, particularly from two-goal Daniel Sabin meant the Psychos could claw their way back from a loss to secure another point.

McPsychoville 3-1 Kelse

Anything less than a solid victory over Kelse would have been a shocking result, and the Psychos delivered for once. Kelse's goal was followed by Price scoring from the penalty spot barely a minute after, and while the rest of the half was tense, the goals at the start of the second half from Sabin and Lee settled everyone's nerves.

McPsychoville 0-3 Schiavonia

The return leg of that game was just as brutal as the first, as Schiavonia simply ran through the Psychos.

So how do we stand?
McPsychoville - Played: 7
Won: 2
Drawn: 2
Lost: 3
Points: 8

Hardly the most inspiring record, but bear in mind that the difference between Schiavonia (in third) and us (in sixth, yes sixth) is two points. Before the second Schiavonia game, the Psychos were fourth - Schiavonia were actually below us. It's a tight group, and it means that with some luck we could easily be in third at the end of the next matchday. Is it possible?

Who knows? We now have to beat Tinsuvilia, simple as. Schiavonia won't be playing, so they're out of the equation. We need Oliverry to beat CRO, as since the match is in Oliverry, the chances look good for them. The only problem is we also need Kelse to beat Vejar, and since Kelse are on a massive, massive slide, this looks very unlikely.

Tadjikistan

05-05-2006, 11:49

First Round evaluation
By Georgi Shpagin

Dushanbe -What went wrong here? thats the question we've been wondering about. Why isnt Tadjikistan first in this group? The first round offered the Tigers enough opportunities to take the lead with the homeadvantage against such strong sides as Spruitland and Pastorville, eventhough the latter has been underachieving.

Especially day 7 should have sent the Tigers to that first place, instead they had to be content with a scoreless draw, the Tadjik strikers havent been themselves lately, only against Pastorville and Radke were they able to distinguish themselves while they remained invisible during the matches against Atheistic Right, Northern Ceasarea and Spruitland.

The Tadjik defenders have improved their performance considerabley since the beginning of the qualifications and much of that they owe to Andrej Guyrza, a young but very talented defender. Another player who seemed to be essential to get the team back on its feet was Nicolay Elisarov, a young midfielder, already wellknown within Tadjikistan.
Thanks to these two men and their influance on their collegues, Tadjikistans last three matches against the groups strongest sides saw the Tadjik nets untouched.
What brings the second round? Hopefully better results! The Tadjik will face Pastorville and Spruitland on the last two days, to avoid problems, the Tadjiks should win their next four matches. Three of those matches are played in Dushanbe, one in Radke.

How did the other teams do? Well, we already know that Spruitland took first place and I've been told its one of the few 2nd ranked teams in a group to do so well.
And while the Wabbits dominate these qualifications, we see two big surprises, first there is Radke, 193th on the KPB ranking but third in group 13. Its also the most mysterious team in the group, we dont even know the names of their players.
The other surprise is Pastorville, 7th with 5 points and a 1-2-4 record. The Karelan defense is outdated it seems, even Group 13 mystery Radke had no problem beating them with 0-3. For them too, a reorganization might be needed to get away from that last spot.

GROUP 13 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Spruitland 7 4 3 0 11 2 9 15
Tadjikistan 6 3 3 0 11 3 8 12
Radke 7 3 1 3 9 11 -2 10
N. Caesarea 7 1 5 1 5 5 0 8
Atheistic Right 7 2 1 4 7 8 -1 7
Apo. Kittens 7 2 1 4 4 8 -4 7
Pastorville 7 1 2 4 4 14 -10 5

Security measures for Tadjikistan - Atheistic Right

Dushanbe - The Main Intelligence Administration makes no secret of its intentions; to eliminate any and all threats to the Tadjik national team and the Tadjik people.
The Tadjik secret service therefore called upon the military to provide extra, trained personell to make sure the capital becomes the safest place on the planet while secret agents and police forces guard the Isserson stadium and the hotels of foreign guests and Tadjik fans.

'We have locked down a specific area around the hotels, the stadium and the airport. No foreigners of Collonie or Atheistic nationality are allowed to leave that area. All other foreigners leaving that zone will be checked and doublechecked. And we make no exceptions. We will not allow terrorists to take our citizens hostage.' said General Budimir Loncar of the Main Intell. Administration, indicating that he did not trust any foreigners. In this case, with the deaths of the Tadjik fans in ASMV still fresh in our mind, we cannot blame him for it.

Cataduanes

05-05-2006, 12:09

ISLANDERS WIN BATTLE OF ATTRITION

MD 8 saw the Islanders facing rivals Wentland at the Estadio Nacional, Cataduanes had picked 3 points against them on MD1 with some pundits in the UNFR region seeing this as just revenge for the knocking out of the islanders in the COH semis.
Wentland came into these WC qualifiers as one of the favourites especially by the pundits in Casari who had predicted them topping the group, however it has not necessarily turned out as such losing the MD 1 fixture to the Islanders and losing two other fixtures, yet there form has picked up at times with some impressive wins, are either inconsistent or unpredictable? Either is a dangerous quality, and Cataduanes coming off the back of a disastrous home loss to Bazalonia certainly no longer had form on their side in contrast to Wentland who had emerged victorious from the away game against FMJ Phoenix.

The rivalry between the two sides, while relatively recent in contrast to some football rivalries, is real and with the Visitors looking for revenge on top of the 3 points for the loss on MD 1 the game was guaranteed to be entertaining, and both sides did not disappoint. Wentland provided signal of there intent 3 minutes into he game when Cosmo Kent's long range effort was tipped over the bar by Jose Sullop, and it did not stop there as both sides attacked and counter attacked in a high tempo first half and the deadlock was finally broken in 43rd minute when the Islanders took the lead via a Toni Souletano free kick and 22 yards out. However Wentland came back equalising just before half time when Adey Loder's cross was converted by the header from Tommy Barnes.

The second half remained up tempo with end to end football, however by the 55th minute Wentland had imposed a little dominance with Joe Weston's impressively commanding the centre of the park, maintaining possession and distributing cleverly, on the 61st minute Weston provided a cunning through pass down the middle into the box were Tommy Barnes had made a diagonal run and whose quick feet slotted the ball under a helpless Jose Sullop.
Despite going a goal down the Islanders began to play with more determination as Wentland held back looking to hold onto the 2-1 lead through hard closing down of the Islanders attacks, in such an environment tempers were bound to flare and in the 70th minute they did so as Blake Wright and Armando Ribera exchanged blows leading to an all out ruckus between the two squads more akin to an ice hockey match than football, taking 10 minutes to separate the two teams the match was resumed after the sending off of both Blake and Ribera, with yellow cards being handed out to Cosmo Kent, John Capper, Mattias Lopez Cerro, Alfonso Boqueron and Toni Souletano. With both teams down to 10 men the dynamics of the match did not essentially change as Cataduanes resumed there attacking in a search for the equaliser and it duly came in the 80th minute when Butch Sacario was brought down in the box by goalie Francis Derrington, he was duly booked by the ref who awarded the Islanders a penalty that was scored by Filipe Echevaria. However the Wentland bench was incensed by the penalty feeling that Sacario had dived (an accusation confirmed by TV footage of the game).

The match descended into a real slugfest as Wentland looked to halt any further advances by the homeside and in the 85th minute it boiled over with Adey Loder and Butch Sacario this time exchanging blows and having to be separated, both received yellow cards for the incident. However despite Wentland's best efforts the Islanders scored the winning goal in injury time (the 4th official having given 7 minutes for injury time) with Marco Ruedas trickery down the wing leading to a sublime cross converted by Carlos Guarin's superb half volley.

Despite the acrimonious nature of the fixture both coaches were seen exchanging friendly words as confirmed by Coach Manua at the post match press conference ''hey that’s football but it does not mean that i cannot behave like a gentleman, both teams really desired the win and when there are two equally competitive teams on the field then sparks will fly, Wentland came here to try win and we had to show guts today'' was his reply to the fighting on the pitch while when prompted by the press about the penalty ''look i will admit that in my opinion there was the slightest of touches but he got a penalty which led to an equalizer, that’s what’s important not how he got it'' was his shock reply ''back home in Cataduanes cunning is part of the game''.

This win leaves the Islanders clearly top of the group on 18 points, second place FMHJ phoenix have 12 points but also have a game in hand. Wentland remain third despite defeat as Bazalonia lost at home to Magnus Valerius. Elsewhere St Happenin secured their first win with a home victory over New Lexington. St Happenin face the Islanders at home on MD 9.

Cataduanes 3 Wentland 2
Bazalonia 1 Magnus Valerius 2
St. Happenin 1 New-Lexington 0

GROUP 12 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Cataduanes 7 6 0 1 19 7 12 18
Fmjphoenix 6 4 0 2 10 4 6 12
Wentland 7 3 1 3 14 10 4 10
Bazalonia 7 3 1 3 9 10 -1 10
Magnus Valerius 7 3 0 4 10 15 -5 9
New-Lexington 7 1 2 4 7 10 -3 5
St. Happenin 7 1 2 4 4 17 -13 5

Ariddia

05-05-2006, 12:53

Not a wobble yet

Despite the stark pessimism of the Spaamanian media, Ariddians were expecting anything but an easy win as they hosted Spaam in Haven-Port-Nouveau Stadium – especially with Kyaw still suspended for this match.

“Of course we can win it,” Clément had told the press. “As long as we don’t become overconfident.”

As if in response to his words, it was Spaamanian Tehta Trevelyan who scored the opening goal in the thirty-sixth minute, after a surprisngly tame first half-hour for both sides. Perhaps it was the jolt the Ariddians needed, and Clément brought about the equalizer in the forty-fourth.

After a tantalisingly close shot by Alt, and several well-aimed attempts by Spaamanians, successfully blocked by Leduc, the tie was finally broken by Ramirez in the sixty-first minute, as she gave her side the relief of a win, and three new points. The Rouge-et-Noirs are in second place in group eight, Elrich now five points behind after a defeat to Spaamanian Plijous.

“They still need to keep it up through the second half of qualifying,” one fan said. “It’s getting rather stressful. But it’s never been so exciting!”

Schiavonia

05-05-2006, 13:27

The Schiavone Scribe
TO HELL FOR Mc
McPsychoville 0-3 Schiavonia

McPsychoville must be sick of the sight of Orange and scarlet by now!

The crazy celts have now conceded ten goals to the Sloths over the two games between the teams without a single goal in reply. They are the single reason behind Schiavonia's positive goal difference!

This time around, the Sloths' superior attacking power proved too much for their opponents, as Tarmey, Di Mascherenasi and McGee ran straight through the hapless Psychos defence to help themselves to three well worked but simple goals.

It means that Schiavonia now sit third in the group, but at this moment in time, it is possible that any two from the top six could be heading to Orthodoxy this summer.

Meanwhile betsmen in Kingsbury have installed Oliverry as massive group favourites, the betting for the other positions is wide open. They have the sloths as favourites, but then with the number of patriotic punts, they'd have to to prevent huge losses.

Finally, Schiavonia has declared itself as "actively looking for a partner to host World Cup 29". Tadjikistan have been approached again, while a shortlist of eight others (more a not-all-that-shortlist, then?) has been drawn up should the Tadjik FA not wish to put forward a bid to challenge Casari and Krytenia.

Final score:
McPsychoville 0
Schiavonia 3 (Tarmey 23, Di Mascherenasi 37, McGee 65)

Jeruselem

05-05-2006, 13:33

* Cartoon of Crusader beating off pack of soccer players acting like wolves *

Rachel "Good morning. This is Rachel Goldstein for JGN at the World Cup 28. Group 7, it's just insane. Jeruselem still lead Group 7, but we have FOUR TEAMS one point behind and then another team just 3 points behind. Oh yes, this is the tightest group so far. Firstly, the Sea Dragons rebounded from their loss to us, and beat the highly fancied Kericia. It was a really tight game with both teams not trying to concede anything, but the Sea Dragons scraped it one nil. If Kericia had won, then they would have taken top spot."

<pause>

"Becquerelia stopped their run of losses and beat of all teams, Boudra-Boudra who looked like taking the points. Becquerelia 's two one win set them back on track and well, stopped Boudra's hopes of taking the top spot. Rorysville expectedly beat Phil the Albino, three nil. They are still 2nd last, but they are still in the race"

<pause>

"Well, we can expect Phil the Albino not to qualify. Too much competition, but the horrendous log jam behind Jeruselem is scary. All those teams have all lost three games. Jeruselem are not playing badly, just one draw and one loss - we have no byes left. This means any bye can hurt a team from here - really badly."

<pause>

"Nedalia lost it's second game. Chicanda got it's revenge beating the Lions real badly, three nil. The Lions are a clear 2nd still. From there they should be able to hold on providing they don't collapse. And Hockey Canada had a bye."

<pause>

"So, tomorrow the Sea Dragons have a bye which will hurt but we say the byes to teams like Rorysville, Becquerelia and Boudra-Boudra will hurt harder at the end of the stage."

Magnus Valerius

05-05-2006, 14:00

OOC:

Wow... with all the midterms I got into, I haven't had the time to post. I feel really behind now.

Anyway, I'll try RPing today or tomorrow. I need to find the time to sit down and type. :)

Giant Zucchini

05-05-2006, 14:07

Dear diary,

Frankly I really don't know what to write...I thought we played well today, we definitely didn't deserve to lose, I guess we really are missing Yoshi, we've lost our attacking bite since his injury, I guess we can only wait for him to recover...Sometimes I wonder why do I work so hard...in the end we still end up getting crap results...maybe it's normal for a manager to go through these phases...hopefully it only happens in the first cup...hopefully it ends by the next time we play...the stress is starting to build...

D

New-Lexington

05-05-2006, 15:56

New-Lexington Shocked by Unranked St Happenin 1-0, Trudeau out for rest of WC
Unranked St Happenin delivered a crushing blow today by not only defeating New-Lexington 1-0 but also knowcking out Forward Trevor Trudeau for the rest of WC28. This came in the first minute when a St HAppenin defenceman gave a knockout shoulder to Trudeau who crumpled. X-rays were positive of a fractured rib and broken collarbone. Truduea was New-Lexington's most profilic scoreer in WC28 with 4 goals. This serioulsy cripples an already struggling New-LExington team who has loss 4 straight. No one was avaliable for comment from the team. Go Kings against Wentland tomorrow.

Tynelia

05-05-2006, 15:58

“Hello everyone, today Tynelia’s hopes for advancing to the World Cup proper took a serious if not crippling blow today as they were upset at home by the Algal States by a 1-0 score. What makes the loss even more shocking is that until this point Tynelia had never loss or drawn with the Algals until this match. Now Tynelia finds themselves in fourth three points behind Turori which defeated the Lowland Clans and Krytenia who have a game in hand. This is Sal Spikeman along with Anna Dalespin for Tynelian Soccer Weekly. So how bad a loss was this Anna?”

“It was huge Sal, this was a game Tynelia had to win or at least get a draw worst case. A loss now finds them in a hole. I thought going into the second half Tynelia needed to win 4 of the 6 matches to move on. Now they must win 4 of 5 with two of them on the road against the top two seeds. It doesn’t look very good Sal, even if they bounce back and win these next two matches against lower ranked teams, that would at best probably bring them back into a three way tie while trailing in goal differential. What strikes me as ironic is that under Coach Tudor the offense was fairly steady despite being shutout twice. Now as soon as Coach O’Meara takes over, like in WC 27, Tynelia seems unable to find the net and has been shut out twice in a row now.”

“Yes that has to be frustrating for Coach O’Meara, especially going up against a team he was even more familiar with than Coach Tudor was. Speaking of Coach Tudor he is supposed to be released from the hospital tomorrow morning but has been told that he should stay at home for the rest of the tournament to make sure everything heals properly. As for the match itself, the first half was scoreless with both sides suffering from sloppy play. Things tightened up in the second half and the Algals took advantage when Brad Collins took off downfield to attack just as Jeff Leason passed it to where he thought Collins would be only to find Louis Amirault there instead. The surprised Amirault immediately charged to the net and fired a shot past Amy Whiteworth before John Stossels could get back to on defense after the sudden change of direction of the flow of the game. After that goal at the 63rd minute the Algals held off the Tynelian counterattacks the rest of the way and came away with the upset.

“Shots actually favored Tynelia 15-14 though the quality edge was even at 3 a piece. Time of possession also favored the home squad by a couple minutes but the most important advantage on the scoreboard went the Algals way.”

“Unfortunately its true Sal, Tynelia still seemed a bit shocked over the attack on Coach Tudor. It’s a shame that damned Irishman has probably cost Tynelia its chance to advance into the World Cup proper for the first time by ruining their ability to focus on the matter at hand. Even if the team bounces back these next two matches their chances are very slim barring a sudden outbreak of draws across the rest of the group. But stranger things have happened. Last Cup the Kazoo Peoples entered the second half nine points behind Nanakaland and managed to beat them on the last day of play. Tynelia’s only three points out right now but with fewer games than last Cup left, there is less time left to recover.”

“ That would be a shame, that O’Connell’s attack, launched because he was jealous of the team’s success, is again the author of its defeat. But we shouldn’t give up home Anna, even though Turori has suddenly come around since their loss to Tynelia they could slip up still. Krytenia is probably a safe pick to move on with only one loss so far. The Clans are still up and down, win-lose-win-lose isn’t going to get them anywhere fast. But if Tynelia can’t stop their two game losing streak they’ll be lucky to hold onto the fourth spot nevermind move up.”

“That may be Sal but I think they will turn it around at least over the next couple of matches. Talmeria got its first win in their revenge match with Geisenfried but now Tynelia should look at this match as a revenge game of its own after being held to a disappointing 0-0 draw in the first round. And with Geisenfried stumbling as well there’s a good chance Tynelia can indeed take these next two matches. For this first one I think Tynelia will narrowly escape with a 1-0 score. Look for Krytenia to also come out a bit upset against the Algal States after the shocking 0-0 draw in what was their openning match. I think the top seed with avenge this draw with a 3-0 thrashing. Finally the Lowland Clans return to face the team that upset them in the first round, Geisenfried. In addition to this being a revenge game, according to their up and down play this should be an ‘up’ game for them so expect the Clans to get their revenge 2-1.”

“OK Anna, if that holds true then Tynelia will once again find itself in the three way mess tie for second but we’re losing ground in goal differential. We need a big multiple goal win at some point to help out there. Now its time for ‘Harmonie’s Hearsay’ with our own Harmonie Masterson.”

“Hi Sal! Hi Anna! Today I learned that the Algal States are actually a place and NOT as lots of people thought, some statements made by a guy named Algal. Now this could be very important if there are people there named Algal because now all those people who thought they knew what they were talking about because the country was named after them might not! This might cause wars and everything if the people there realize they’ve been tricked all these years, because the last thing people like is to be seen as stupid. Maybe Donna Kent’s cousin Clark should be sent there so he can save everyone with his super powers before anyone gets hurt! Back to you Sal!”

“Thanks Harmonie, whatever anyone else may say your perspectives are certainly…unique for lack of a better word. But that’s all the time we have for now. We’ll be back again after the Tynelia/Talmeria matchup and see if out team can finally get over the trauma the attack on Coach Tudor had struck them with or if Coach O’Meara will find himself captaining a sinking ship. We’ll all find out together I’m sure but for now this is Sal Spikeman for Anna Dalespin wishing everyone a good night.”

Rordia

05-05-2006, 16:27

RORDIA - DESTINATION NMS
Part 8: Rordians Hiccup Against Hypocria

Rordia have a mountain to climb if they are to qualify for the World Cup. They lost 3-2 to Hypocria to suffer their second defeat of the qualifying campaign. Their first was against... Hypocria.
The Hypocrians went 3-0 up with goals coming in the 4th, 24th and 42nd minutes. But then Rordia pegged two goals back, with a brace from Tim Brick. The striker scored after 59 and 60 minutes, both goals coming from headers. In the 72nd minute, Adam Hartnell was one-on-one with the Hypocrian keeper. Then, a Hypocrian defender appeared to have made a professional foul on him. Hartnell fell to the ground dramatically, and then kicked out at the defender. But instead of a penalty for Rordia, all Hartnell got was a red card.
Manager Neil van der Wal said: "If we keep on playing like that, there is no way we will make it to the World Cup. We were 3-0 down against a side below us in the table! Obviously, they're now above us, but that's the kind of performance I do not want."

LINE-UP: Reynolds; Craig, Robertson, McMenahan (Harrold), Khan; Mirren, Badger, van der Wal (Stevenson), Parkinson; Brick, Hartnell. Booked: McMenahan, Parkinson. Sent off: Hartnell.

OTHER RESULTS:
Anathematic Republics 1 Nebuleux 1
Virginia Nova 3 Narbithia 2

BONAREV'S PETITION
When will Aleks Bonarev stop asking to be selected for the Rordia team?
Earlier this season, the foreign defender was told he was ineligible to play for the Rordians. But he has now decided to make a PETITION in a last-resort attempt to get into the team.
Bonarev said: "I desperate to play for Rordia. That why I get names from fans. I not only one that want Aleks Bonarev in Rordia team."
So far, Aleks has three names in his petition. So far, Aleks Bonarev, Kelas Verabon and Les Ankabover have all signed up. Bonarev said: "Les my best friend. Kelas my cousin. They all live in Rordia. They hate home country."
The petition has not been greeted very well by Rordia fans. One said: "If he wants to play international football, then he should ask his OWN country to select him!" Another said: "If Aleks Bonarev ever plays for Rordia, then I'm Rina Berner." (NOTE: Rina Berner is a famous Rordian singer)

Lisburn Mateys

05-05-2006, 16:56

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
Mateys Stuttering??

Ok its matchday 8 of the world cup qualifying campaign, a match played against the unranked Khenas. The Mateys have done fantasticly so far in the tournament but recently their performances have been poor, with the strike forces miss firing and clearly missing the Influential Amusi Akobyi, who again was injured for this game.

The game started very slowly with not much happening until Keith Lvingston forced a stunning save from the Khenas a goal keeper after a stunning freekick.
Not long after that Khenas scored!! in a somewhat bizarre fashion, the Mateys players where bewildered at how the ref didnt see MArvin andrews getting an elbow to the face. The score stayed 1-0 till half time.

Paul Kirk pust have got it in to the Mateys players that this simply wasnt good enough as they came out for the second half playing to the maiximum. Bellucci and Livingston began passing the ball around with great skill until Bellucci switch the ball to the right side of midfield where Kingsberry was waiting. Kingsberry looked up and saw Dougherty making a good run he cross the ball precisly for Dougherty to header the ball in, for his first ever international goal.

The next goal came after resounding pressure from the Mateys on the Khenas goal, but Dominic Patton seemed to be misfiring a little too often. Bellucci was was continuously making dangerous runs down the left side until when he cut inside was brought down just outside the box.

Livingston immediatly stepped up and with seeing a signal from the ref took a quick freekick, which the Khenas players and goalkeeper where not prepared for 1-2.

Final score
Khenas 1 - 2 Lisburn Mateys
awaiting roleplay - 23
Richard Dougherty - 55
Keith Livingston - 70

Manager Paul kirk said that vast improvements need to be made if we are to find the form that we had at the start of the tournament and to keep our chances of qulaification alive.
Mateys fans will be pleased to know that Amusi Akobyi will be fit for the next and will almost definatly start, however Marvin Andrews looks like he will miss at least one game.

Rorysville

05-05-2006, 17:06

http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/3189/sportsnetrv9bw.png
Sportsnet RV Soccer Central
After a stumble late in the game against Boudra-Boudra THe Moose made sure to take advantage of a hapless team in unranked Philthealbino and Trounced them 3-1.
"We did most of our things right and played much better throughout the enitire 90 minutes this time. Our only slip up was late in the first half when we allowed a Philthealbino striker to slip through uncontested and net a goal. It was addressed in the Halftime break and we came out and finished them off now we can look at going through the group again with the knowledge of our previous mistakes and hopefully capitalize on chances pushing us to the next level"--Coach McKlintok
"I'm really happy with the Teams Performance so far,This core of young players is really starting to gell together and if they can get it together I think they will suprise a few teams on the way"--GM J.S. Briesbois
"Well I think our playmaking really showed but again this was an unranked team I'd like to see us play this good against the top teams"--Captain Jasper

Stats from Game #7 @ Philthealbino
Goal Scoring-RV
W.MacInnis(8min)
J.Pérez(66min)
A.Nikolishin(72min)
Goal Scoring-PTA
A.Anonomys(44min)
Yellow Cards
None Handed out
Red Cards
None Handed Out

Other scores from Group 7
Kericia 0 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 1
Becquerelia 2 Boudra-Boudra 1

Standings after Matchday 8
GROUP 7 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Jeruselem 6 4 1 1 9 5 4 13
Kericia 7 4 0 3 11 7 4 12
Becquerelia 7 4 0 3 11 8 3 12
ASMV 7 4 0 3 8 7 1 12
Boudra-Boudra 7 4 0 3 10 10 0 12
Rorysville 7 3 1 3 11 11 0 10
Philthealbino 7 0 0 7 2 14 -12 0

Rorysville WC28 Schedule
MD 1: (unranked) Philthealbino W 1-0
MD 2: #72 Bequerelia L 4-1
MD 3: @#8 Jeruselem D 2-2
MD 4: @#32 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega W 3-1
MD 5: @#45 Kericia L 2-1
MD 6: BYE
MD 7: @#116 Boudra-Boudra L 2-1
MD 8: @(unranked) Philthealbino W 3-1
MD 9: @#72 Bequerelia
MD10: #8 Jeruselem
MD11: #32 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
MD12: #45 Kericia
MD13: BYE
MD14: #116 Boudra-Boudra

Raging Penguins

05-05-2006, 17:09

The Justtundra Times

They...WON?!

As the dust, smoke, and flaming bits of wood settled, and the air cleared after the match between The Emperialist and our 'Team, it appeared that, well(we're rather embaressed about this), The Team had won.
In a match dominated by attacking, defending and counterattacking, The Team somehow beat The Emperialist players 1-0.
We suspect foul play(or it was a clerical error), because opening fire on the opposing team - albeit opening fire with rubber bullets - is just not fair.

The Teams already well-established defence managed to block all and any incoming shots, even after Willie Dee had to be replaced after he was accidentally shot in the leg by Devious Penguin's Dart Gun, loaded with elephant tranquilizers. As Neb Nocker took to the field in Dee's place, a cloud of flies surrounded him, lashing out at any who came too near, although the winged pests did wise up after Mostly Mouths ate about half of them.
After a first half without any goals scored, The Team came out one by one, until all but ABSOLUT LUNATIC were present. About halfway through the match, Mostly Mouths suddenly charged forward, mouth wide open. A horrible screaming sound erupted from the Troglodyte's enormous orifice, and out leapt a soggy LUNATIC, angry and confused after being cooped up inside a mouth filled woth deflated footballs, large, human-like bones, and a petrified artichoke.
The Emperialist team has pressed charges against The Team's Forward, after Mr. LUNATIC traumatized their keeper by hugging him tightly and weeping loudly and messily on his shoulder. Due to the shocked keepers inability to defend properly(he was worriedly patting ABSOLUT LUNATIC's head), Furious Porridge managed to score.

After their win, we managed to get an interview with DMYS, the defender who was blown up several games ago. It had this to say about The Teams victory: "...."
An optimistic statement to be sure, but can they really keep it up? Of course not. We're counting on it.

Anastasiania

05-05-2006, 17:11

Anastasianians Shock Qazox
Qualifying A Distinct Possibility

After a stunning 2-1 victory in Qazox today, Anastasiania closed the gap to the leaders, and are now just one solitary point off the second place which gives a chance to play in The Archregimancy and New Montreal States.

The Qazox team, who just came off a fine result in Legalese, seemed stressed by their home crowd coming behind them, and in the first half passes never found the intended recipient - also caused by tight marking by Anastasianian defenders. However, visits into the Qazox half by Anastasianian midfielders and strikers were rare, and when Phil Blain converted a free kick from 22 metres, it was listed as the first official shot on goal.

Leading 1-0 forced an even greater withdrawal into their own half, and the crowd started chanting songs about the Rejistanian outlook of the Anastasianian team. Coach Pettersdotter, when confronted with this boring style of football, noted that "we've got three points against Qazox with this style of football; we got nil in the last match."

As the match progressed, Qazox got their equaliser, through Maria Gretzky just before half-time, and the few Anastasianians in the crowd began to prepare for the not-unexpected elimination. However, in the second half Anastasiania opted for chasing victory instead, realising that the Qazox' attack really wasn't all that dangerous; it certainly gave the crowds more interesting football. Two diving saves from Iiro Kuivasto in the opening ten minutes of the half kept Anastasiania within the game, and four minutes later, Anastasiania got a corner kick. A lovely inswinging kick from Pekka Ollinsalo met the head of central defender Kalervo Kottila, and suddenly it was 2-1 - with half an hour still to play.

The remaining half-hour saw nails gnawled down to the knuckles, shots fired at everything bar the Anastasianian keeper (who only recorded one save in the last half-hour, mostly thanks to the ineptitude of Qazox' strikers), and, eventually, jubilation for the small contingent behind Kuivasto, as Anastasiania came off 2-1 victors.

As Legalese lost to the Islands of Qutar, one of the favourites before qualifying began, the group now seems impressively close. From Qazox in second place to The Remote Islands in sixth there's only three points, and Anastasiania are sitting neatly in the middle of that pack, with one difficult challenge overcome. If, against all odds, Anastasiania would win in Audioslavia next week, it would mean the team would have every chance of qualifying; however, Audioslavia have not even given up a point yet, and their 3-1 demolition of Anastasiania was outstanding.

Anastasiania 2 (Blain 28, Kottila 59)
Qazox 1 (Gretzky 44)
HT: 1-1

Northern Caesarea

05-05-2006, 17:57

Northern Caesarea: 2 Radke: 1

25. Franco 0
2. Ferrer ***
4. Capdevilla *
15. Molinero **
22. Ibañez **

24. Novo *
14. Vizcaíno ****
8. Ibagaza *
11. Maxi ** => Caminero m.52

7. Narváez *** => 1. Cuéllar (m.64)
17. Maragall *****

Booked: Red: Franco
Yellow: Ferrer, Capdevilla, Ibañez, Maragall

The Tricolor fury gave a sad show at the Azaña National Stadium. Full of supporters who expected a crushing victory after the 1-2 win against Atheistic Right, the team showed to the crowd its worst face.

The match seemed to go very well when Maragall scored the 1-0 on minute 10. The young Ajax Ríos striker was inspired and he played one of the best matches of his a carreer. It's a pity that the rest of the team didn't solidarized with them.

The defense had to use an extreme violence to stop Radke forwards, who approached dangerously the NC goal several times. But that wasn't enough to stop Adrian, who scored 1-1 on minute 25.

That goal didn't sent Radke players to rest. Boasted by an inefficient Northern Caesarea midfield, where only Vizcaíno had his day, they put the debutant goalkeeper Franco in serious troubles.

The disaster came at minute 63. Franco, for a strange reason, tackled violently Müller, who was in the NC area but in a bad angle to score. The referee had any doubt: red card and penalty, which was scored by Adrian.

Cuéllar had to return to the NC goal, after his exile and he defended it with success from the continuous Radke attacks.

Northern Caesarea

05-05-2006, 18:13

A sad and depressed Paco Antequera, coach of the Tricolore Fury, came to the press room.

"I have nothing to say. You have all seen the match", he declared to the journalists. "Our supporters didn't deserved that show. I'm really ashamed about the game of the team. We'll have to tranform ourselves if we don't want to see WC28 only by TV".

Antequera will do a topsy-turvy change to the team against Pastorville: a new defense and the first match of the 19-year old Movilla, to try to improve the possibilities to qualify.

Likely starting team:

1. Cuéllar

2. Ferrer
21. Perea
5. Calvo
3. Sergi

13. Caminero
14. Vizcaíno
16. Movilla
6. Colsa

7. Narváez
17. Maragall

Tinsuvilia

05-05-2006, 18:41

Sturmkrieger Beat Vejar Again To Hold On To 2nd!

Are hopes in Tinsuvilia for the Sturmkrieger actually warranted?

It seems so. Beating 3rd place Vejar 3-1 on Match Day 8 of World Cup 28 qualifying helped to silence some of the more recognized critics of the young team, and the group is starting to take notice.

With the position comes danger, however, as the rest of the region sets it's sights on Tinsuvilia's back, since 1st place Oliverry is almost unreachable. Can the Sturmkrieger, lead to victory today by goals from Kingsley, Answoir and Davon, hold onto their 2 point lead over Schiavonia and CRO through the second half of the season? Only time will tell.

Tinsuvilia:
3 (Kingsley 12, Answoir 26, Davon 78)
Vejar:
1 ("X" ?)

Cuation

05-05-2006, 19:03

Cuation Slip Out to Fighting Norris

Celebrations where cut short of a surprise draw against Bettia when news came in that the Fighting Norris had won 4-1 away to FCN. This makes our 2-2 draw with FCN when 2-0 up seem even worse as Cuation where replaced by Fighting Norris for second place.

Jamie Hargreves will be ready for the next match though Cheese has played admirably but his inexperience has proved costly at times. Tanner is set to return for the game against Chuck Norris' team but only on the bench.

The next three games are vital, against two bottom teams on which wins are needed and then a crunch game against the Fighting Norris. Six games unbeaten but three draws in a way, Cuation need to get back to winning ways.

Due to a workers strike, I will print the Bettia report tomorrow

Ivan Magor.

Dorian and Sonya

05-05-2006, 20:38

Unicorns Still Struggling Mightily

Queen Sonya sat in the office of Unicorn coach, Luthien Oronar. The two had been discussing the future of the squad for some time and had come to very few viable options. One thing was certain, they needed a far better keeper than the two women currently on the roster. And a second point was easily seen - Altáriël Telperiën was the only player capable of playing at this level with any form of consistency.

That left the squad in their current quandary. Where do we go from here? The Mystical Unicorns had shown the ability to play brilliantly at times. Vilita could attest to that fact. But other than that, the squad seemed to vary far to much in effort and ability. But it seemed as if those answers would have to be found following the qualifying attempt.

Last night had been no better. D2R had shown once again that they were on a mission to shock the WC and make an appearance. The Unicorns had fallen to them 4-1 on MD1 which made the 1-2 loss seem much better than it actually was. But improvement would be taken, no matter how little it actually was. Altáriël Telperiën scored the only goal (as usual) in the 56th minute.

Next up for the Mystical Unicorns is a very tough trip to Liverpool England. You can expect that LE will be looking to make a point in this one. 4-0 was the clean sheet they put on us in MD2. This one could be much worse if we are not careful. LE is trying desperately to make up the three points that separate them from a qualification spot.

Upset Watch
Group 2 - Not actually an upset, but Vilita picked up their first win against Kaze Progressa
Group 5 - Anastasiania upended the Black Oxen 2-1
Group 6 - Nouvelle Angleterre easily smashed Haraki 4-0
Group 8 - Ariddia knocked off Spaam 2-1; Spaamanian Plijous handed Elrich a 3-0 loss

There were several close ranked upsets that we feel no need to report.

Haraki

05-05-2006, 20:38

Ouch!
From the Haraki News Network, Print Edition

Sam Sherman, Atherlon. At home, the Hawks suffered their worst defeat of the World Cup. In front of a cheering fan section, Haraki's best hopes of qualifying for the world cup in many years seemed lacklustre and off-tempo. It didn't help that half the team was down sick.

It seems a bout of flu had struck the team, passing its way around through practice. It was brought in by Richard Weber, who apparently got it from his girlfriend. He was down for two days but was better in time for the game, although still not on his best form. Both Haraki's forwards were out, apparently with their heads buried in toilets, and so Alicia Ribald and Matthew Thompson both got to see some action. Midfields Julie Vern, Manuel Cortes and first alternate Luke Ford were all down, and so Vargas had no choice but to bring in Allison Keyes and Catherine Veritas Ezaniea, most famous for her last-minute goal against Starblaydia in the last World Cup.

On the defensive side, Jonah Menike was out for newcomer Werner Vittenbach, and Haraki's star goalkeeper Mark Stone was out. Susana Hamilton, the Hawks' backup goalie, is nowhere near his calibre and couldn't stop the Nouvelle Angleterre offense.

The score was horrifying. The opposition opened the account at fourteen minutes, then again at thirty-three and once more before half at forty. Vargas took Hamilton off for Bobbie Morris, giving him his first international experience, but still he couldn't manage to do anything about it. Haraki's offense was suffering greatly, and Morris let another goal past at sixty minutes, just to finish off the team's doom at home. A 4-0 thrashing. A horrifying display for the home team fans, and with the Kazoo Peoples' victory over Yafor 2, they have shot up 2 points ahead of Haraki in the Group 6 tables, bringing Haraki down to third place and out of a qualifying spot.

Still, there are six matchdays left. Haraki plays Alasdair I Frosticus, then Iksonic, then has the bye, then plays Hockey Canada, the Kazoos, and finally Yafor 2 again. We can only hope for better play from them in the future.

Sam Sherman is the HNN's leading football commentator.

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

05-05-2006, 21:08

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg
Group 7 Becomes Tangled Mess

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from Kericia.

The Sea Dragons faced a “must-win” situation here and came away with a hard-earned 1-0 victory. Both defenses were in top form as they battled to keep the other from scoring. And what a battle it was. For 83 minutes of the match, neither side managed much of a threat at all. In fact ASMV managed only 6 opportunities and 2 shots on goal for that time. Kericia fared little better with 3 shots on goal from 5 opportunities.

But in the 84th minute things changed in the Sea Dragons favor. The defender on Jenni Ulruch slipped and fell allowing her to move unhindered into the Kerician end of the pitch. Then the domino effect happened to the defense as players scrambled to shut down the ASMV attack. That all led to a Porche Alexander goal that gave ASMV the much needed victory.

Now let’s take a look at the tangled mess that is Group 7.

GROUP 7 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Jeruselem 6 4 1 1 9 5 4 13
Kericia 7 4 0 3 11 7 4 12
Becquerelia 7 4 0 3 11 8 3 12
ASMV 7 4 0 3 8 7 1 12
Boudra-Boudra 7 4 0 3 10 10 0 12
Rorysville 7 3 1 3 11 11 0 10
Philthealbino 7 0 0 7 2 14 -12 0

Ouch. Jeruselem leads the group and has had their final bye date. They can feel good about that one. But the scramble will be pushing them hard the rest of the way. The Sea Dragons now have to sit and watch during our own bye. But at least we will get it over with now so that we can concentrate on moving up the table. Even Rorysville is still in the hunt for a qualification spot, but a late bye date will hurt them. And one has to think that Philthealbino will pick up a win before it is all said and done. Hopefully they won’t choose us as victims for that one.

Friends Watch.
Hypocria downed Rordia 3-2
Dorian and Sonya lost a heart-breaker to D2R 1-2
Cuation managed a 2-2 draw with Bettia
Ariddia knocked off Spaam 2-1
Milchama moved past the Zucchinis 1-0
Tadjikistan did not play due to their second bye date.

Casari

05-05-2006, 22:09

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

4-2 vs Commerce Heights, 1-1 vs the Reg
Starters see the pitch in one, not in another

In the first leg of the 1v2 derby, Casari managed a confident 4-2 win against Commerce Heights in front of a bunch of fans chanting various obscenities.

In the home leg of a friendly matchup against hosts the Archregimancy... well, noone showed up.

In a time full of interesting, competitive soccer where the matches have some meaning and are managing to spawn immense amounts of pointless bitching, a friendly just didn't seem to draw.

"It's not that we don't like watching the team. It's just, well... we like to see them in something that matters." a fan said.

On the other hand, with 6 matches left until someone makes it through to the next round of the competition, the fact that it's all up in the air is rather captivating.

But Finals aren't.

Geisenfried

05-05-2006, 22:16

Konigseifert Chronicle

Late Goals Give Talmeria 2-1 Win
Golden Eagles Drop the Ball at Home... Again

Home sweet home? Not for Geisenfried. For the third time in three games at home, the Golden Eagles have lost, dropping them down to a 2-1-4 record and into sixth place. Once again, it was a matter of flailing late, as both Talmeria's goals came after the 75th minute. However, Geisenfried started strong early, probably the only comfort for fans disappointed at the Golden Eagles' home performances.

The Golden Eagles were quick to head out, with Wolfe scoring in the eighth minute from a cross from Baehr, which itself came off a deflection on a shot from Genz. From that point, Geisenfried seemed to have smooth sailing until the 75th. A shot from one of the Talmerian forwards deflected in from the side post, tying the game. Later, in the 87th, the same forward tapped the ball in past Ackermann to give the Talmeria the late lead. The three minutes after weren't enough time to post a sufficient counterattack, and the Eagles lost a disappointing match.

Talmeria: 2
Geisenfried: 1
Wolfe- 8' (GSF)
Randomperson- 75' (TAL)
Randomperson- 87' (TAL)

After the game, Geisenfried manager Wilhelm Romm had this to say. "I'm really disappointed in this game. There was absolutely no reason why we should have lost that game. I don't care how much training it takes to get this team back to the shape they were at the beginning of this cup, but rest assured, they'll do it. I'm staking my personal reputation and my job on these two points: we will not be in last place in the standings, and we will win one game in front of our own crowd. If we don't, I'll resign as manager. Simple as that."

The next game will be against in Berens, against the Lowland Clans, sure to be looking for revenge after our last upset against them. Will Romm's training be enough? Or will it just tire them out. We shall see...

Schedule
Geisenfried 1-0 Talmeria
Geisenfried 1-0 The Lowland Clans
Geisenfried 0-2 Tynelia
Krytenia 2-0 Geisenfried
Turori 2-0 Geisenfried
Geisenfried 1-1 Algal States
Bye
Talmeria 2-1 Geisenfried
The Lowland Clans at Geisenfried
Tynelia at Geisenfried
Geisenfried at Krytenia
Geisenfried at Turori
Algal States at Geisenfried

GROUP 15 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Krytenia 6 4 1 1 11 5 6 13
Turori 7 4 1 2 11 7 4 13
Lowland Clans 7 3 1 3 8 9 -1 10
Tynelia 7 3 1 3 5 5 0 10
Algal States 7 2 3 2 5 5 0 9
Geisenfried 7 2 1 4 4 9 -5 7
Talmeria 7 1 2 4 3 7 -4 5

Starblaydia

05-05-2006, 23:51

Paladins Defeated in Reality Friendly
Crowds flock to see Menecrates' last appearance

Wearing a special number twenty-five shirt (not twenty-four as previously advertised), Starblaydi legend and World Cup Winner Menecrates turned out for one match only in Iskara to face New Montreal States.

Menecrates, 36, had the Captain's armband returned to him for this one match; having worn it throughout World Cups 26 and 27. Thousands of fans appeared wearing Menecrates shirts, whether white, purple, gold or black versions of the Starblaydia kit he had worn over the years, though there were more than a few Corinthian Spirits' shirts scattered amongst Foundation Road, home to Iskara Daii.

Almost billed as Menny's testamonial match at international level, drew a crowd of seventy-five thousand, and that was just inside the stadium. Iskara's back streets were filled with one big street party in the summer sun, showing that the joy Menecrates always showed when playing his football translates to every football fan who glimpses him. Joy was not his only emotion, however, as he clearly felt the sentiments from the crowd in his heart.

Dasha Tolkacheva marked her fiftieth national team appearance with her thirty-sixth international goal to open the scoring for Starblaydia, powering through to slam the ball into the back of the net. Hugh Faulkner equalised late on in the first half from long range and the teams went in at the half-time break at one-all. Menecrates had already been lighting up the first half with magical tricks and excellent vision as always, but he had to wait until the second half for a goal.

Yes, Menecrates scored thanks to Dasha Tolkacheva and young Jean-Marie Laporte. Sprinting into the box, Dasha pivoted on the goal-line looking for a cross or cutback, but barely had she looked up to find support than young Laporte's slide tackle took her legs away from her. The referee pointed to the spot and up stepped, thanks to the calls from the crowd, Menecrates. The legend stepped up, did a little shimy, sent Paul Chasson the wrong way and simply slotted the ball into one side of the gaping net. Starblaydia 2-1 up.

As in the previous friendly in the dreamed realm, Starblaydia's Tolkacheva and their attacking-midfielder had both netted. Paul Noble soon made it a three-peat of sorts as he bagged another goal against the Paladins, just like on Matchday One. Starblaydia's toughest test of the Qualifiers is already over, and that was just a friendly on Matchday Eight.

Final score from Foundation Road:
Starblaydia 3 - 1 New Montreal States
(Tolkacheva 21, Menecrates 68, Noble 75) - (Faulkner 40)

Raging Penguins

06-05-2006, 00:23

Memo From: Ronald E. Perf, Head of the Dept. of Outragious Taxation and Financial Debt
To: John Rashtart, Head of the Dept. of Criminal Management
Subject: The Team wins?

I saw an article in the National Informant today, which claimed that The Team, that expensive group of crimes against humanity, had beaten the team from The Emperialist.

Who the Hell let them win? You know what victory on their part will mean for my department: Loss of Happy Hour Money! Your department is in charge of those creeps, and you assured me that they would not wina single game in this entire World Cup. You guarenteed that they'd lose - in fact, you wasted an hour of my time describing why they would lose, and how your department had set that up!
And now they Win?!
I want to know who was in charge of that little blunder, I want to know who he is, and what his position is. And then I want him fired and Blcaklisted. Understand?
Our treasury cannot afford to spend any more money on The Team, and if we get another request saying that "MM ate all of our equipment, buy us more', I will see to it that you get lower wages.
If The Team wins again, whey'll probably do it by blowing the other team up, and that would mean war, something we can't afford.

Sincerely,
Ronald E. Perf,
Head of The Department of Outragious Taxation and Financial Debt

Boudra-Boudra

06-05-2006, 00:41

Becquerelia vs Boudra-Boudra

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/becquerelia.jpg vs http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/boudra-boudra.jpg

Boudra-Boudra lose crucial match!
and fail to take unique opportunity of taking lead

The Boudran players were all very motivated at the start of the match, knowing that a win against Becquerelia would put the team in a qualifying position and possibly even in the lead of the group with Jeruselem, the leaders after matchday 7 having their bye. After 7 minutes this motivation was strengthened through a goal by Malimbo Tar which silenced the stadium as the Becquerelian fans were expecting nothing more than a victory against a team they had already beaten on the road earlier. For the remainder of the first half, both teams were mostly fighting for possession without creating any mentionable chances. In the second half it was Becquerelia that came on to the field with the most motivation as their coach had used the fifteen minutes of rest time between halves to remind his players that they actually still had a good chance of progressing to the World Cup if they managed to win this match. And so they did. Two unanswered goals in the first 10 minutes of the second half rendered the home team three vital points. However, with the Boudran forwards Sosimo Bradkorb and Malimbo Tar missing numerous chances in the last ten minutes of the match, it could have easily been 2-2 or even a victory to Boudra-Boudra. Afterwards both coaches agreed on the press conference that a draw would have been the correct result. Boudra-Boudra gets no points however and with Andossa Se Mitrin Vega edging out Kericia at Kericia, Group 7 has now become extremely close with six teams still in contention for the two final World Cup tickets. With the leaders Jeruselem already having had their bye, they look set to be present at the next World Cup, however they just might lose their next match when they host... Boudra-Boudra! Well winning might be much to ask, but with Boudra-Boudra still in a good position with only 5 matches to go, it could be small things that decide about qualifying or not, for instance winning away to Jeruselem, the team has won away to Kericia and Andossa Se Mitrin Vega already, so why not Jeruselem, they're only 108 places higher in the ranks and have shown to be weaker at home as they only drew against Rorysville 2-2 and lost to Kericia 0-2.

Final Score:
Becquerelia 2 - 1 Boudra-Boudra

0-1 Malimbo Tar '7
1-1 playerX '51
2-1 playerY '54

The Boudran lineup:

Goalkeeper:
- Ohène Strok'pah

Defenders:
- Rintje Jacobus-Fredriksson
- Hanz Buyakasha (captain)
- Indridi-Ptô Burns

Midfielders:
- Rikke Gallucio
- Bernardino Maria Eduardo Garcia de la Col Delgado
- Torsten Oppt-Sjlook (off, 80 mins)
- Njjik Rahlii

Forwards:
- Arintz Efefefe-Ijlf
- Sosimo Bradkorb
- Malimbo Tar

Replacements:
- Andris Zdelizj (For, 80 mins)

Goalscorers for Boudra-Boudra during WC28Q:
3: Sosimo Bradkorb
2: Arintz Efefefe-Ijlf and Malimbo Tar
1: Mikko Piminio, Njjik Rahlii and Andris Zdelizj.

Other MD8 Results in Group 7
Kericia 0-1 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Philthealbino 1-3 Rorysville

Standings:
GROUP 7 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Jeruselem 6 4 1 1 9 5 4 13
Kericia 7 4 0 3 11 7 4 12
Becquerelia 7 4 0 3 11 8 3 12
ASMV 7 4 0 3 8 7 1 12
Boudra-Boudra 7 4 0 3 10 10 0 12
Rorysville 7 3 1 3 11 11 0 10
Philthealbino 7 0 0 7 2 14 -12 0

The WCQ Schedule for Boudra-Boudra:
Matchday 1: Boudra-Boudra - Becquerelia lost 0-1
Matchday 2: Boudra-Boudra - Jeruselem lost 0-2
Matchday 3: Andossa Se Mitrin Vega - Boudra-Boudra won 1-2
Matchday 4: Kericia - Boudra-Boudra won 2-3
Matchday 5: Bye
Matchday 6: Boudra-Boudra - Philthealbino won 2-1
Matchday 7: Boudra-Boudra - Rorysville won 2-1
Matchday 8: Becquerelia - Boudra-Boudra lost 2-1
Matchday 9: Jeruselem - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 10: Boudra-Boudra - Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Matchday 11: Boudra-Boudra - Kericia
Matchday 12: Bye
Matchday 13: Philthealbino - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 14: Rorysville - Boudra-Boudra

Swilatia

06-05-2006, 02:10

http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/3532/sbc34jz.gif
End This losing streak!
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/swilatia.jpg Swilatia 1 - 3 Oglethorpia http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/oglethorpia.jpg

We lost again for the same reason. and this time it was a home match. Blasted Theive's Guild! I am so pissded of that now that they invented they new method of smuggling death sticks, and now the team, especially Mitzi is being chased, we can barely do well in a match. This world cup will not end well. This will ruin the team's record even more.

Dude, this must all be made up. the theive's guild does not exist today. besidedes, there is no chance of it existing in the 21st century. I mean, theive's GUILD sounds so medieval. and thats 'cause the theives guld existed beck then. It does not exist today. honestly, whats with you??

Actually the theive's guild does exist today. You may no believe me here, but when you are in a nightclub and someone tries to sell you death sticks, they are in the theive's guild. When you are on the metro and someone tries to pickpocket you, chances are they are in the theives guild. when someone is sneaking up on you in the bank with a notebook in order to find out you PIN chances are that they are in the theive's guild. And they seem to get away with a lot of the stuff.

Okay. but lets get to the match, oh wait, we havent even told you the scores. They were 1-3 we lost by two points.

And now I will get to the match. In the first half, Oglethopia scored a goal. Then we scored a goal. 15 minutes after half-time, we tried to score a goal, but failed. so at half-time the game was tied. and it looked like it will continue to be tied.

However, after half-time, something fate defying happened. our own goalkepper, Lindon Alysia, got injured when trying to block oglethorpia goal attempt. Then, our best striker, mitzi got taken away from the stadium to be put on trial, as the local police started to think he was in the "theive's guild" yes, i still have trouble accepting that it exists as well as the Giant Zucchini border guard. Since both our best goalkeeper, and our best striker were gone, we did terribly in the rest of the match. Suzanne was close to scoring, but even if he managed we were still quite doomed.

Anyway, lets take a look at the ranks
GROUP 11 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Sarzonia 6 4 2 0 12 4 8 14
Milchama 7 4 1 2 15 10 5 13
Oglethorpia 7 3 2 2 11 7 4 11
Lisburn Mateys 7 3 2 2 9 8 1 11
Giant Zucchini 7 2 2 3 9 9 0 8
Swilatia 7 2 1 4 5 11 -6 7
Khenas 7 1 0 6 5 16 -11 3
as you see, we are doomed.

Anyway now lets get the halfway report. looks like we are halfway to nowhere

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/sarzonia.jpg
SARZONIA
We managed to have a draw with them, but we don't think that will happen again.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/jersey--67.jpg
MILCHAMA
We either lose or draw, or a slight chance of winning. but very small. I just hope we win. but I have no Idea if we even can.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/giant_zucchini.jpg
GIIANT ZUCCHINI
Their performenc in this world cup is like a rollercouster. win and lose, win and lose, win and lose. and an occasional draw. Lets just hope that the smuggling controversity was the oly reason for the last loss and that we will not lose again. But maybe they were just simply a good team.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/swilatia.jpg
SWILATIA
So here we are. we had a 50/50 chance, maybe we still do. lets just wat and see. okay?

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/oglethorpia.jpg
OGLETHORPIA
Too late to talk about this, don't you think. Why, because today's match will probably be our last match with them. Because whether or not we qualify or Not, they will not qualify.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/jersey--67.jpg
LISBURN MATEYS
All I can say Is that tommorow we will probably get our revenge on these silly wanabes. I mean, they must be wanabes if they copy a batter nation's flag.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/khenas.jpg
KHENAS
Now why did these guys sign up. I mean, they should have known that they have no chance.

Collonie

06-05-2006, 02:23

OOC: Count this toward Milchama, goddamn puppets.
Keltic Picayune-Newspaper-Chronicle-Times-Journal-Sun-Mail-Globe

Sports Section

Zucchinis get fried

That's right a late goal by Matt Bantin brought Milchama another victory and put them in a good position to qualify. A match that for a lot of the time was a stalemate was broken open late in the second half by subs Bantin and Kary as Milchama switched into a 3-3-1-3 formation with Copperlee playing his regular position on his club team as the midstriker. The formation worked perfectly as Copperlee freed up Nielson who sent a cross into Bantin who scored the winning goal. This event brought the Milchama contingent of the crowd on its feet despite the 83 minutes of boredom as neither team could break through the defense.

Coach Jamie Smith said, "We played wonderfully today for 25 minutes but even when we weren't our best we were able to play with them and we did not give up. The subs were excellent today as they played how they should and Dunston seemed much more comfortable in his midstriker spot, so because of that tommorow in our friendly he will be in the midstriker slot. Him playing like he did was huge for us, we need more performances like that to have us qualify and do well in the cup. I expect more performances like this."

Considering we summed up all the parts in the opening paragraph there will be no match report today.

Final Score:
Milchama 1 (Bantin 84)
Giant Zucchini 0 (Shutout!?)

Raging Penguins Report:
They finally got their first victory of the campaign as they beat the Emperialist 1-0 on a flukey goal from Furious Porridge. This was also their first goal of the campaign and we have to congrutulate them on this momentous event.

Milchama Man of the Match:
Matt Bantin- Not only his goal but his play after being subbed on for Faren in the 70th minute was great he helped the Warriors' attack not be stagnant and thus be good.

Liverpool England

06-05-2006, 02:37

Freech: I should never have left
Sarzonian IFF officials are in uproar after President of the IFF, Liverpool England-born Sir Douglas Freech, reportedly told media that he wished he had never left the Terminators head post.

"I shouldn't have left. We've been poor, both here in Sarzonia, and for the boys back home. If I'd stayed perhaps we could even have won World Cup 27. It was painful watching the boys lose to Bedistan again. The lads aren't doing well right now. I hope they make it though, it would be a huge setback to local football if they fail to qualify."

Qazox

06-05-2006, 05:16

Anastasianians Shock Qazox
Qualifying A Distinct Possibility

After a stunning 2-1 victory in Qazox today, Anastasiania closed the gap to the leaders, and are now just one solitary point off the second place which gives a chance to play in The Archregimancy and New Montreal States.

Phil Blain converted a free kick from 22 metres, it was listed as the first official shot on goal.

As the match progressed, Qazox got their equaliser, through Maria Gretzky just before half-time, and the few Anastasianians in the crowd began to prepare for the not-unexpected elimination. However, in the second half Anastasiania opted for chasing victory instead, realising that the Qazox' attack really wasn't all that dangerous; it certainly gave the crowds more interesting football. Two diving saves from Iiro Kuivasto in the opening ten minutes of the half kept Anastasiania within the game, and four minutes later, Anastasiania got a corner kick. A lovely inswinging kick from Pekka Ollinsalo met the head of central defender Kalervo Kottila, and suddenly it was 2-1 - with half an hour still to play.

The remaining half-hour saw nails gnawled down to the knuckles, shots fired at everything bar the Anastasianian keeper (who only recorded one save in the last half-hour, mostly thanks to the ineptitude of Qazox' strikers), and, eventually, jubilation for the small contingent behind Kuivasto, as Anastasiania came off 2-1 victors.

Anastasiania 2 (Blain 28, Kottila 59)
Qazox 1 (Gretzky 44)
HT: 1-1
Qazox City Herald

Thanks to Anastasiania for the match report, as most of the Reporter from the Herald have the Oxian Flu and could not attend the match.

In other action from Group 5, The Islands of Qatar beat Legalese 1-0, and the Remote Islands beat Zorinia by the same score.

Standings After Matchday 8:
GROUP 5 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Audioslavia 6 6 0 0 16 3 13 18
Qazox 7 3 1 3 8 6 2 10
Legalese 7 3 1 3 4 7 -3 10
Anastasiania 7 2 3 2 9 10 -1 9
Isls of Qutar 7 2 3 2 5 6 -1 9
Remote Islands 7 2 1 4 6 10 -4 7
Zorinia 7 1 1 5 7 13 -6 4

Up next for Qazox is a home match against Zorinia, as we've seen so far, this match is anything but a given at home as the Black Oxen are now 0-1-3 in the Strange Hamlet.

The Archregimancy

06-05-2006, 05:45

MD 9 scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=10905287#post10905287) are now available.

Harlesburg

06-05-2006, 05:53

Harlesburg Drop Games
Harlesburg 1 Praying2God 2
Although it was an improved performance from the last time these two teams came together once again Harlesburg lost and it could have been so much more different if Dentors chance in the 57th minute had been succesful unfortunatly he missed from in front got a jerring from the local crowd got subbed in the 64th pelted with mini frisbees and the score stayed 2-0 after Praying2God scored in the 22nd and 32nd minutes.

Sloane scored in the 92nd minute for a conselation goal and as more results came in watched as Harlesburgs chances of qualifying pretty much evapourated.

Next up is Gaspland who Harlesburg will try desperatly to crush after losing badly to these no names last time they met.

Group 3

Harlesburg 1 Praying2God 2
Vuam and Isma 1 Georgeonia 0
Gaspland 4 Dauna Hills 0

GROUP 3 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Starblaydia 6 5 0 1 9 3 6 15
Praying2God 7 4 1 2 9 4 5 13
Gaspland 7 3 2 2 14 9 5 11
Dauna Hills 7 2 3 2 8 10 -2 9
Vuam and Isma 7 3 0 4 6 9 -3 9
Harlesburg 7 2 1 4 8 13 -5 7
Georgeonia 7 1 1 5 5 14 -9 4

Qazox

06-05-2006, 07:38

Qazox City Herald

With our reporters recovering from the Oxian Flu, our special guest reporter of today's match between Qazox and Zorinia is Reggie Hassok, Starting Goal Keeper of the Black Oxen.

"Oy, this is Reggie 'The Rock' Hassok writin' for the Herald, the only paper I read becuase they don't use big words. We stomped Zorinia today as I stopped only 3 shots 'cause they totaly stunk up the joint against our fearsome attack. Marie(Marie Goya Ed. note) scored a couple of times before half and Bookie (Jamie Bookman ed. note) scored just after to give us a 3-nuthin ***-whooping. I think we's now alone in 2nd as them lawyers didnt win (Legalese Ed. Note) I think we gonna go against them Remote blokes from an Island or something. I'll be ready and watch us kick *** all the way to Montreal or Quebec or something like that.

We thank Reggie Hassok for writing that excellent piece for us as our reporters are recovering. You cannot tell that he only had a 6th grade education now could you?

In other action around Group 5, Audioslavia stayed a perfect 7-0-0 with a 2-0 win over Anastasiania, and as mentioned by Mr. Hassok, Legalese and the Remote Islands tied 1-all. Today's win places the Black oxen 2 points ahead of Legalese for 2nd palce and with GD of +5 compared to a -3 for Legalese, a tie between the two of us at the end of qualifying would favor Qazox.

Current Standing after Matchday 9:
GROUP 5 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Audioslavia 7 7 0 0 18 3 15 21
Qazox 8 4 1 3 11 6 5 13
Legalese 8 3 2 3 5 8 -3 11
Isls of Qutar 7 2 3 2 5 6 -1 9
Anastasiania 8 2 3 3 9 12 -3 9
Remote Islands 8 2 2 4 7 11 -4 8
Zorinia 8 1 1 5 7 13 -6 4Note that teams in Italics would qualify for the World Cup if ended now.

Our next game will be at the Remote Islands, and once again Reggie Hassok will provide a report fot the Herald as no reporter can leave Qazox until the Oxian Flu is flushed out of their systems. (thank you **cking Oxian flu ed. note)

(ooc: P.S. The Qazox City Herald sold 745,000 copies after it was announced that Reggie Hassok would be writing for it. The editors are drinking massive amounts of Pepto-Bismol and Tequila, while the Owner is thinking of charging double as Reggie proved to be popular with the common man. So all match reports will be done by Regie from now on...OY)

Dorian and Sonya

06-05-2006, 08:09

Unicorns Lose To Liverpool England

Queen Sonya smiled quietly. She had no reason to complain about a 0-2 loss in Liverpool England. After all, they had crushed the Mystical Unicorns 0-4 in The Kingdom. That made the loss here much more acceptable.

What was unacceptable was the current position of the Unicorns on the Group 2 table. Dead last - or close enough to it. 7 points. -7 goal differential. And lumped in the same situation with Homieville and a surprisingly despondent Vilita. Things did not look very good.

The next match would be a real test and tell the tale of this campaign for the Unicorns. Vilita is coming to town. In 3 previous meeting the Unicorns had gotten the better of the struggling powerhouse. Hope is now to see that trend continue and move closer to the sides sitting higher in the standings. But Vilita wont go down easily - it will be a tough match.

Upset Watch

Group 1 Anamathic Republics failed to get more than a point in a 1-1 draw with Narbithia
Group 2 Homieville earned a 1-1 draw with Kaze Progressa ; Rosberg surged past D2R 4-2
Group 5 The Remote Islands stayed even with Legalese 1-1
Group 6 Alsadair I Frosticus managed a 2-2 draw with Haraki
Group 7 Phil the Albino got their first point in a 1-1 draw with Kericia
Group 9 Kelse gave Vejar a point in a 1-1 draw
Group10 Nedalia struggled against Blitzwher 2-2 ; Canibol got a 1-1 draw with Collonie
Group11 Lisburn Mateys earned a 3-3 draw with Swilatia
Group12 St Happenin showed Cataduanes what was Happenin in a 1-0 score
Group13 Radke pulled a 1-1 draw with Apologetic Kittens
Group15 Algal States managed a 0-0 draw with Krytenia ; Talmeria upended Tynelia 1-0

Rorysville

06-05-2006, 08:17

http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/3189/sportsnetrv9bw.png
Sportsnet RV Soccer Central

The Moose Factory was back in action with a solid win over Becquerelia 3-2 moving Rorysville into third place in Group 7 and only 3 points out of first.
"As I've said many times this team can play with the best of them and again they proved me right as we beat the #72 Ranked Team with another solid effort we learned from our mistakes in the Loss we had against them and capitalized on our oppertunities in doing so along with a great effort in the Pipes we were able to pull this one out"--Coach McKlintok
"They definitly had us on the ropes a couple times but again we learned from teh last time we played them and were able to mount a counter attack"--W.MacInnis

Statistics from Game #8 @ Becquerelia
Goals for RV
A.Negeuanne(10min)
R.MacDonnel(55min)
A.Negeuanne(76min)
Goals for BEC
J.Doe(27min)
J.Doe(44min)
No Cards Handed out in the match
of Note-RM-Mark Schweitzer Injured in First half will be evaluated but until then RM-Alexander Nikolishin will take his place and ResRM Jean-Sebastian Cousteau will be activated and see some limited action.

Other Scores from Group 7
Jeruselem 2 Boudra-Boudra 0
Philthealbino 1 Kericia 1

Group 7 Standings after Matchday 9
GROUP 7 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Jeruselem 7 5 1 1 11 5 6 16
Kericia 8 4 1 3 12 8 4 13
Rorysville 8 4 1 3 14 13 1 13
Becquerelia 8 4 0 4 13 11 2 12
ASMV 7 4 0 3 8 7 1 12
Boudra-Boudra 8 4 0 4 10 12 -2 12
Philthealbino 8 0 1 7 3 15 -12 1

Rorysville WC28 Schedule
MD 1: (unranked) Philthealbino W 1-0
MD 2: #72 Bequerelia L 4-1
MD 3: @#8 Jeruselem D 2-2
MD 4: @#32 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega W 3-1
MD 5: @#45 Kericia L 2-1
MD 6: BYE
MD 7: @#116 Boudra-Boudra L 2-1
MD 8: @(unranked) Philthealbino W 3-1
MD 9: @#72 Bequerelia W 3-2
MD10: #8 Jeruselem
MD11: #32 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
MD12: #45 Kericia
MD13: BYE
MD14: #116 Boudra-Boudra

Sportsnet RV Player of the Match-A.Negeuanne

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

06-05-2006, 08:59

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg

Sea Dragons Ready For Stretch Run

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from an airplane lost somewhere or other.

The Sea Dragons got a ton of good news today. First of all, the squad had a bye date and therefore evaded an upset. And then the Group 7 scores came in. Yes we know - still 5th on the table. But signs are good for us. Let me explain why.

Jeruselem did us a huge favor by knocking off an upstart side from Boudra-Boudra 2-0. That moved Jeruselem into clear control of the group and kept BB from gaining ground on us.

Then Rorysville downed Bequerelia 3-2. That kept us even with Bequerelia while Rorysville did pass us for the moment. The biggest surprise was Philthealbino earning a draw with Kericia. That put Kericia just a point up on us as well while giving Phil their first point.

Now how does sitting in 5th position actually come off as good news? Let me show you the table

GROUP 7 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Jeruselem 7 5 1 1 11 5 6 16
Kericia 8 4 1 3 12 8 4 13
Rorysville 8 4 1 3 14 13 1 13
Becquerelia 8 4 0 4 13 11 2 12
ASMV 7 4 0 3 8 7 1 12
Boudra-Boudra 8 4 0 4 10 12 -2 12
Philthealbino 8 0 1 7 3 15 -12 1

Kericia and Rorysville are both one point up on us. Both of them must still take a bye date into account. We are currently even with Bequerelia and Boudra-Boudra. Both of them have bye dates to come as well.

That means that if we can take care of our business (something that is not a given in this tourney) we will move back to our 2nd spot and move on into the WC proper. That begins with a trip to Boudra-Boudra. These guys got the better of us on MD3 at our place. Now we hope to return the favor and hand them a loss. We have put ourselves back into the thick of things (really thick. 6 sides within 4 points of each other) with solid play. Now we have to continue that if we want to advance.

In other news, the bye date saw a friendly match between ASMV and Milchama at the Inferii Domei in Tua Monafu. A crowd of 63,000 witnessed a great, stress-free photo-op match that saw ASMV pull out a 3-2 win. Thes home and away friendly series with Milchama has been a great one.

Friends watch
Hypocria - Bye
Dorian and Sonya lost 0-2 to Liverpool England
Cuation took care of Slakaj 2-0
Ariddia knocked off Raging Penguins 2-1
Milchama - see bottom of article above
Tadjikistan - dropped Atheistic Right 2-0

Tadjikistan

06-05-2006, 09:10

Tigers take lead

Dushanbe - The fans from Atheistic right and the few collonie visitors werent too happy with the precaustions the Tadjik government had taken, as they were not allowed to leave that small area around the hotels and stadium. And even there, the government had posted policemen and secret agents at every corner, watching the foreigners with suspicion. General Budimir Loncar of the Main Intell. Administration even decided to close down the road to the airport for all foreigners from suspect nations, the only way they could get there was with a bus checked by the secret service.

Even the Atheistic Right team was never left unguarded, especially as they've been a target before. Another reason why the secret service followed them was because of the problems the agents had in identifying them 'None of them use their real names, they all have animal names instead.' One policeofficer complained.

For the Tadjik Tigers it must have been a relief to see that their government went through all this trouble to guarantee their safety, Assistent coach Daniel Gurchev found the Tadjik security better than that of its opposition 'Not only did it take alot of time for them to check our visa's and we're the national team for **** sake, they also checked us again and again once we arrived. They had extra personel at the hotel but I had the impression that any terrorist could easily reach us. Thank god our own secret agents were around.' The overall security in Dushanbe was considered much better by all Tadjiks, a feeling that helped the fans forget about a possible threat.

As they no longer worried about bombs, the national team could put its mind to this match, one they absolutely had to win. Spruitlands bye day was the excellent opportunity to catch up and possibly take that first place. The Tadjik strikers took the opportunity to prove that they were still among the best and the Tigers truely fought for every ball with the animals from Atheistic Right.

Saidomir Saradov scored Tadjikistans first in the 44th minute and Zyrianov secured Tadjikistans win through a header in the 70th minute, the assist came from Nicolay Elisarov. Atheistic Rights offensive in the last fifteen minutes came to late to change the outcome, the won 2-0.
The best news came after the match when the Tigers heard of Radke's draw against the Apologetic Kittens, there now is a gap of four points between Radke and the top two, giving the Tadjiks some assurance for Matchday ten.

Coach Alexander Zaev was happy with the current standings, with Tadjikistans chances of qualification almost secured 'We must try and keep a distance between ousrelves and the thirdranked team in this group. We're going to Radke for three points and if that, for some reason, aint possible we'll have to settle with a draw, a loss is totally unacceptable. Especially if you know that we have yet to play the two most important matches of the qualifications.'

GROUP 13 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Tadjikistan 7 4 3 0 13 3 10 15
Spruitland 7 4 3 0 11 2 9 15
Radke 8 3 2 3 10 12 -2 11
N. Caesarea 8 1 5 2 5 7 -2 8
Apo. Kittens 8 2 2 4 5 9 -4 8
Pastorville 8 2 2 4 6 14 -8 8
Atheistic Right 8 2 1 5 7 10 -3 7

MD1: Bye
MD2: Atheistic Right - Tadjikistan D 0-0
MD3: Tadjikistan - Radke W 4-2
MD4: N. Ceasarea - Tadjikistan D 1-1
MD5: Apo. Kittens - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD6: Tadjikistan - Pastorville W 4-0
MD7: Tadjikistan - Spruitland D 0-0
MD8: Bye
MD9: Tadjikistan - Atheistic Right W 2-0
MD10: Radke - Tadjikistan
MD11: Tadjikistan - N. Ceasarea
MD12: Tadjikistan - Apo. Kittens
MD13: Pastorville - Tadjikistan
MD14: Spruitland - Tadjikistan

Tadjik Goalscorers:
Saradov - 5
Zyrianov - 4
Tulberdiev - 2
Elisarov - 1
Kirponos - 1

Ariddia

06-05-2006, 10:55

Shock winning streak continues

It was a day, on the whole, of few surprises in group 8. Rejistania hosted and defeated Spaamanian Plijous, on the conservative but sufficient score of one goal to nil. And Elrich welcomed and defeated the Emperialist. Ariddia’s top two adversaries were still raking in points.

The Rouge-et-Noirs themselves travelled to the distant and disturbing homeland of the Raging Penguins, where, unintimidated by their surroundings, they tried to intimidate their opponents in turn through a fierce performance of the ulek, the Indigenous Ariddian war dance.

Young midfielder Hanifah Kyaw was finally back in the national colours after a two-match suspension, and rearing to go. She proved it by scoring the opening goal in the fourth minute of the game, to the delight of the tiny number of Ariddian supporters who had actually travelled to Raging Penguins to watch. It was an unnerving match, with their opponents committing several fouls, but the Vegan referee kept matters well under control, and Ariddian captain Ue Alt was able to score a comfortable second goal in the fifty-eighth minute. It mattered little that the Penguins scored a goal themselves late in the match; the Rouge-et-Noirs had grabbed the three points they had come here to obtain.

“They’ve never played so well before!” an excited fan back home gushed. “Nineteen points in eight games! I don’t think any of us were expecting that.”

“We’re doing well, but we’re not out of the woods just yet,” was the coach’s analysis. “We need clear wins against Spaamanian Plijous and the Emperialist if we’re to stay in qualifying position. And we still have to face Elrich and Rejistania, again.”

At present, the Ariddians are maintaining their unexpected second place – a place which would see them qualify for the first time since World Cup 10, a time before most Ariddians alive today were even born.

Rejistania

06-05-2006, 12:02

OOC: I HATE being IRL!

IC:

From the different blogs of Rejistania

Rage against the Penguins
Xiku did keep his promise and somehow managed to organize tickets for the match against the penguins. You know, normally, I like penguins, but I do not if they play against the lasane. I was astonished by the speed of their waddling, and their lunatic way of playing. There were a numerous amount of fouls and the fact that the lasane played in protective armor because of the mines did add an unpleasant slowness to the game. The Orange-Blues concentrated fully on defense. The one goal was an unbelievable slimy and disgusting affair. Whose idea was it to let this yellow slime mold play? They belong into a nethack game. I Hetaki'he did do the best out of the confusion in the situation.
Private blog of Teke Ximi

Conceded against Elrich?
What is this world coming to? We... conceded... against Elrich! After a 1:0 lead, Ehesalakeke Dahajehejili failed to save one shot in the 87th minute. Mudge'he equalized against the takilan rejistanians. In my opinion, it is all the fault of the highly controversial "maniac" Seletarakeledira Hanselijimijile. Who did allow this takilan to leave Krytenia? In Avidia, he did not do as much damage as in Rejistania, there he even helped by a moderate spread of karelaness. But here, his tactics are clearly takilan! This takilan is a danger for rejistanian soccer and morals and should be sent somewhere quickly!
from the temple of Karela blog

JIE!
I was very pessimistic about that one, because of the attack-mindedness of both teams. but surprisingly the Junis-omeh'ny did not let their fans down and defeated the takilan commies by a 4:1 "dary" (rejistanian for high victory). It was an absolutely great match, even though only few people could see it due to the media strike across the nation. Lin.esv.rj streamed a match report however as did xenaru.esv.rj, they however had too many compression artifacts in their stream. Sele-Xari.he.rj has good match pictures and accepts pictures, you send. The Karela Lines blog has pictures and had a matchticker since it was in their stadium, but it was a bit delayed and the pictures are in too few shades of gray.
From a rejistanian media watchblog, which currently covers alternatives to stay informed

Spaam gets lost
Something funny happened to me today: I was working at the gas station as normal as a bus of foreigners came. One of them left to talk to me. My English is substandard, I admit, but I could understand that he wanted to know the way to the "World Cup Stadion Northwest". I was surprised, I never heard that name, but then, there are just two stadia in Sijitalatirikimidateme kali, so I asked: "You want to Estadije Sijitalatirikimidateme Xkora?" He looked puzzled and then showed me a sheet of paper with the address. It was the ESX, of course. I drew the directions on a sheet of paper and said: "You late, match surely did start already". The person said: "No, it can't we are the spaamian team." Later,I heard on pirate-radio that the spaamian team really arrived far too late due to being lost in the city.
From the private blog of Ehakemesala Dikevenelaraxeli

Rejistania 1 Spaamanian Plijous

The text says it: the Orange-Blues defeated the Spaamian minions 1:0 in the Estadije Ines Karela Lines. The match was as boring as a match could be. the match was played karelan, as you have guessed. I can not provide details because I fell asleep in like the 5th minute.
Blog of the takilan party

Jeruselem

06-05-2006, 12:29

* Weird theme music *

Rachel "Good morning. This is Rachel Goldstein for JGN at the World Cup 28. With me is former Jeruselem World Cup coach Guus Hiddink."

Guus "Hello viewers"

Rachel "This is a tight group, Group 7. All but one team can make the next round. Jeruselem beat Boudra-Boudra two nil and stay ahead of the wolf pack. This Boudra run hot and cold."

Guus "Ya, very good team but inconsistent. They lost to ze better team today and from their record, will probably lose the next one as they either win in batches or ze lose in batches"

Rachel "The Sea dragons had a bye and got away with it. Only Jeruselem benefitted and helped them."

Guus "Ya, Jeruselem win disadvantaged Boudra and Kericia draw helped too. Rory team took advantage too. Sea dragons need to win next few game as byes kick in and hurt other teams"

Rachel "Phil the Albino, they finally get points and annoy Kericia."

Guus "We feel sorry for Phil. Kericia wasted their chance against weakest team and paid in losing two points. Kericia are good team but not consistent like Jeruselem ever was"

Rachel "Rorysville, surprise again"

Guus "Becquerelia should have won, but Rory team fight on. Becquerelia and Rory team get wins but lose at the wrong time. The byes at the end will really hurt now if they can't get some wins soon."

Rachel "Hockey Canada played with Nouvelle Angleterre again, three one."

Guus "Very interesting, but Canucks look like team to beat in their group. Karelan teams with attack are a pain to beat, and hard to break down"

Rachel "Nedalia drew with Blitzwehr, two all. Are the wheels falling off?"

Guus "Lions looked good but as of late maybe slowing down. A few more wins should get Lions over ze line as they are a good team which needs to press their claims at the World Cup. Lions 6 points ahead of Chicanda - they should really press advantage now"

Rachel "Final comments about Group 7"

Guus "Jeruselem cannot afford to loose games. This group so tight one loss could push team out of stage. Top teams have their bye first meaning weaker teams suffer bye problems at the end. Most teams are good but Jeruselem defense is the key and the Sea dragons defense good too. I say defense will settle the issue in the end. Weaker teams might fail due to goal difference."

Boudra-Boudra

06-05-2006, 12:31

Jeruselem vs Boudra-Boudra

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/jeruselem.jpg vs http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/boudra-boudra.jpg

Boudra-Boudra lose two in a row
ASMV and Rorysville big winners

With Boudra-Boudra losing out to Jeruselem due to goals from Smaski Duboski and Geoff Shout and Philthealbino holding Kericia to a 1-1 draw it are the teams from Rorysville and Andossa Se Mitrin Vega who were benefiting most from all this as Rorysville went to Becquerelia and took three points after a well deserved 2-3 win while Andossa Se Mitrin Vega sat at the sidelines enjoying their bye. With Jeruselem and Andossa Se Mitrin Vega having played one match less, they are now both sure of qualifying if they win all their remaining matches. They still have to play eachother however, so the group is far from over. Actually, seeing this group is extremely close, every loss of points will be very costly for anyone from now on as the top six teams in this group can still qualify. For Boudra-Boudra, wins are necessary, since the two goal shutout against Jeruselem has given the team the worst goal difference apart from the now officially eliminated team from Philthealbino. Chances for Boudra-Boudra are still present however, as they play Andossa Se Mitrin Vega and Kericia at home, with both teams already beaten at their place. Boudra-Boudra needs at least 4, if not 6 points out of these two matches or the chances of qualifying will be extremely slim, even with two matches against the lower ranked teams coming up.

Final Score:
Jeruselem 2 - 0 Boudra-Boudra

1-0 Smaski Duboski '37
2-0 Geoff Shout '69

The Boudran lineup:

Goalkeeper:
- Ohène Strok'pah

Defenders:
- Rintje Jacobus-Fredriksson (out, 72 mins)
- Hanz Buyakasha (captain)
- Indridi-Ptô Burns
- Billy-Bob Stephenson

Midfielders:
- Rikke Gallucio (out, 55 mins)
- Bernardino Maria Eduardo Garcia de la Col Delgado
- Torsten Oppt-Sjlook
- Njjik Rahlii

Forwards:
- Sosimo Bradkorb
- Malimbo Tar (out, 55 mins)

Replacements:
- Arintz Efefefe-Ijlf (For, 55 mins)
- Andris Zdelizj (For, 72 mins)
- Abraham Whiler (Mid, 55 mins)

Goalscorers for Boudra-Boudra during WC28Q:
3: Sosimo Bradkorb
2: Arintz Efefefe-Ijlf and Malimbo Tar
1: Mikko Piminio, Njjik Rahlii and Andris Zdelizj.

Other MD9 Results in Group 7
Philthealbino 1-1 Kericia
Becquerelia 2-3 Rorysville

Standings:
GROUP 7 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Jeruselem 7 5 1 1 11 5 6 16
Kericia 8 4 1 3 12 8 4 13
Rorysville 8 4 1 3 14 13 1 13
Becquerelia 8 4 0 4 13 11 2 12
ASMV 7 4 0 3 8 7 1 12
Boudra-Boudra 8 4 0 4 10 12 -2 12
Philthealbino 8 0 1 7 3 15 -12 1

The WCQ Schedule for Boudra-Boudra:
Matchday 1: Boudra-Boudra - Becquerelia lost 0-1
Matchday 2: Boudra-Boudra - Jeruselem lost 0-2
Matchday 3: Andossa Se Mitrin Vega - Boudra-Boudra won 1-2
Matchday 4: Kericia - Boudra-Boudra won 2-3
Matchday 5: Bye
Matchday 6: Boudra-Boudra - Philthealbino won 2-1
Matchday 7: Boudra-Boudra - Rorysville won 2-1
Matchday 8: Becquerelia - Boudra-Boudra lost 2-1
Matchday 9: Jeruselem - Boudra-Boudra lost 2-0
Matchday 10: Boudra-Boudra - Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Matchday 11: Boudra-Boudra - Kericia
Matchday 12: Bye
Matchday 13: Philthealbino - Boudra-Boudra
Matchday 14: Rorysville - Boudra-Boudra

Lisburn Mateys

06-05-2006, 13:17

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
Swilatia frustrated again

Ok these guys simply dont like us, they are jealous, they have been involved in 3 world cups and not qualifief once and this is our first and we are clearly kicking there ass, but what do you expect from a teams players play in an amateur league.

Once again in the build up to the game the Swilatia media tried to run the Mateys team and nation into the ground, leaving many Mateys fans annoyed at the attitude shown by the Swilatian's

So the game then, everyone was up for it, in recent months they have become big rivals and every player out on the pitch today gave their all and put their bodies on the line, for both sides, but it was alot cleaner than the last game however where 6 yellow cards where given out.

The match started brightly , the Mateys midfield passing it around until chris Kingsberry lost the ball which inevitably lead to the first Swilatia goal, the Mateys where shocked!!
With Marvin andrews out after the last game Jonny Mc Jovi earned his third cap and his inexperience was definatly easy to see when he missed a header which then lead to the second Swilatia goal.

The Mateys desperate to get out of their current disappointing form woke up, the defence got tighter and the pace was lifted, Livingston weaved some magic in the middle of the field and found Amusi Akobyi had pulled wide left, he lobbed the ball up to him. Amusi chested it down and cut inside Sylwester Mathias, took a shot which curled into the top right corner 2-1.
The ball was then bogged down in the midfield until half time with Aaron Mc Cann comming on for the so far disappointing Kingsberry.

The Swilatian manager must have told his players what it means to the fans to beat the Mateys and they came out for the second half all guns blazing, peppering the Mateys goal with Brian Livingston working his ass off to keep the Mateys in the game, unfortunatly for the Mateys the Swilatian's thrdr goal came from a diflected freekick, they then assumed a two goal coushin was enough and sat back.

The Mateys finally got the ball back, and David Armstrong took charge in a very rare run forward played the ball between himself and Aaron McCann the whole way up the pitch, he sent in what looked like a poor cross but which Livingston met perfectly following a late run into the box, the Swilatia goalkeeper didnt stand a chance as the ball thundered into the net.

The Mateys final goal will be remembered for years by the supporters whole will never forget this day, Aaron Mc Cann picking the ball up from half way began his memorable run, he rounded Mikolaj Zoja, then nuts' Edgard Brigitta,, his pace got him past Sylwester Mathias and then a simple step over got him past Mikolaj Zoja again, this left him with a 1 on 1 with the goalkeeper at a very tight angle, which he blasted over the keepers head and into the roof of the net 3-3!!!

Final score
Swilatia 3 - 3 Lisburn Mateys
(awaiting roleplay)
(awaiting roleplay)
Amusi Akobyi - 38
(awaiting roleplay)
Keith Livingston - 71
Aaron McCann - 82

just remmeber kids ,"we'r not Bedistan, we'r Lisburn Mateys!!"

Haraki

06-05-2006, 14:57

The Hawks, still recovering from a bad bout of flu that had now moved on to the coach, Lloyd Vargas, and several other players. Mark Stone was back in net, but not his usual self, and Samuel Sharp was back on the pitch, but Mike Zendar, who performed so well in the last game against Alasdair I Frosticusw, was out, as well as reserve forward Alicia Ribald, putting Matthew Thompson in the spotlight as the right-side forward.

Defender Bruce Forrester was out, putting newcomer Werner Vittenbach in a starter spot for the second game in a row. And so the game started with a weakened Harakian side, especially since a number of the players that were back on the pitch were still feeling after-effects of the long-term sickness.

Alasdair I Frosticus started the scoring at twenty-some minutes, with a Tzimisces goal against Mark Stone, who said after the game that 'It would have been an easy save, but I thought I was going to throw up as I dove for it and it threw me off.'

However, Harakian midfield Richard Weber came back with a goal just before halftime, evening up the score into the break. It was a good goal, slotting it in behind the keeper from the far right side of the net.

Come second half, the Harakians tried to pick it up a notch on weary legs. Julie Vern managed to get the ball down the field numerous times, eventually getting herself a goal some time into the half, a lead the Harakians held onto until the very end of the game, when another Tzimisces managed to score the game equaller, much to the dismay of the Harakian fans.

The highpoint of the game was undoubtedly when one of the Tzimisces suddenly turned into an attractive woman in a revealing pose, which stayed for a split second before turning back into a bewildered Tzimisces, leading some to wonder just what the monks who dreamed up the players were actually dreaming about.

Haraki left the pitch disappointed with a draw. One point would not help them in their quest against the Kazoo Peoples, who were now one point ahead of them, with Haraki's bye day still to come. That gave Haraki four games to get more points than the Kazoos, who had five games to maintain their tenuous lead. And Yafor 2 were coming up behind Haraki, dangerously close. One win by any one of the teams, even the underdogs Nouvelle Angleterre and Alasdair I Frosticus could set them out and into the second qualifier spot.

Haraki 2 - Alasdair I Frosticus 2

(23) Tzimisces
Weber (40)
Vern (61)
(84) Tzimisces

Geisenfried

06-05-2006, 15:06

Konigseifert Chronicle

Still No Luck At Home
Talmerian win with Geisenfried loss causes Golden Eagles to Drop to Last

Was it bound to happen eventually? Probably. With Talmeria's second straight win, this time against Tynelia, along with Geisenfried's loss to the Lowland Clans, the Golden Eagles have fallen down into the bottom spot of the 15th Qualifying Division, where they sat at the beginning of the World Cup.

For the most part, the game against the Lowland Clans was well-played for the Golden Eagles, with most of the game being a back and forth battle with excellent defensive play. However, 20 minutes after the half, Lowland Clan forward Jonathan Kavanagh got a break and shook off Hausen, leaving just goalie Kurt Ackermann to defend the goal. And as the clock hit 67 minutes in, Kavanagh managed to get it past Ackermann and into the goal to give the Lowland Clans the lead. Despite many attempts, the Golden Eagles couldn't equalize.

The Lowland Clans: 1
Geisenfried: 0
Kavanagh- 67' (TLC)

The next game will be against in the Old Castle in Dohmen, against Tynelia, who have themselves been flailing in this second half. Can the Golden Eagles take advantage of this? We certainly hope so...

Schedule
Geisenfried 1-0 Talmeria
Geisenfried 1-0 The Lowland Clans
Geisenfried 0-2 Tynelia
Krytenia 2-0 Geisenfried
Turori 2-0 Geisenfried
Geisenfried 1-1 Algal States
Bye
Talmeria 2-1 Geisenfried
The Lowland Clans 1-0 Geisenfried
Tynelia at Geisenfried
Geisenfried at Krytenia
Geisenfried at Turori
Algal States at Geisenfried

GROUP 15 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Krytenia 7 4 2 1 11 5 6 14
Turori 7 4 1 2 11 7 4 13
Lowland Clans 8 4 1 3 9 9 0 13
Algal States 8 2 4 2 5 5 0 10
Tynelia 8 3 1 4 5 6 -1 10
Talmeria 8 2 2 4 4 7 -3 8
Geisenfried 8 2 1 5 4 10 -6 7

Bettia

06-05-2006, 15:09

The Enlightener: look all you want, just don't touch the hair
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/FAB.jpg

WC28: It's Haiku-tastic!

Remember the last time Bettia paid a visit to The Archregimancy? The warm greeting by well-educated local schoolkids who were somehow able to speak welsh? The two-hour long liturgy in a language we didn't speak? And more pertinantly, the famous haiku match-report challenge? For want of a better method of summarising the Aroras' capaign so far, the Enlightener's editor has asked our resident poet Gerald Poncenby (emphasis on the Ponce) to report on the green and gold army, in a 5-7-5 style. Take it away Gerald...

Bettia Returns
With One Simple Message
We Don't Do Defence

First were Cuation
To arrive in Gabalfa
Thrilled their fans, they did

Thirty minutes gone
And they were two-nil ahead
'Roras caught napping

After an hour
Things were looking desperate
But fear not dear fans

Cuation stepped back
To defend their three-one lead
How foolish was that?

We flooded forward
Truly, we attacked hard and
We were rewarded

Full time whistle blew
Bettia's attacks paid off
A four-three home win!

After a nice rest
The Fighting Men of Norris
Arrived in the Realm

Disaster! We lost!
They came and kicked our rear ends
Defence torn to shreds

Three-one was the loss
And after that, we were mad.
Penguins for dinner?

The Burning Ones came
To our shores, faced the backlash
And soon limped away

Away games now came
Six of them, all in a row
What was our first stop?

Why, it was Slakaj
One of Group Four's small minnows
One-nil, away win

Twas rather easy
But sterner tests lay in wait
For our plucky lads

Next up, not one but
Five Civilised Nations
This was a tough'un

Two nations, even
In every respect fought out
A thrilling battle

The pendulum swung
First one way, then the other
Neither team gave way

The home team soon led
But were quickly pegged back by
Waves of green and gold

Half-time score, two-one
To our beloved 'Roras
It was soon 2-2

And so it stayed till
Minute number eighty one
Another attack

Chris Hutton is felled
Hacked down in the area
Ref points to the spot

He picks himself up
Thumps the ball into the net
Surely that's a win?

Nay, for our back three
Was verily shite - tis true
We don't do defence

Result? It's a draw
And now we must travel far.
Next game - Squornshelous

Our sternest test yet
And they played us off the pitch
Despite York's fine goal

Halfway, six games gone
And Bettia sit in third
Certainly not out

Now, the return legs
We travel to Cuation
A nice place, it is

Once again, two teams
Slug it out, fighting gamely
End to end footy

The final whistle
Blows, and it's another draw
Thanks to York and Swain

No win in three games
Sees Bettia in fifth place
In Group Four's table

But the group's so tight
There's still everything to gain
And plenty to lose

Aroras need to
Stand up and be counted, or
C of H beckons

And so we all shout
With all of our hearts as one
COME ON YOU 'RORAS!

Giant Zucchini

06-05-2006, 15:38

Dear diary,

Haiz...I don't know what to feel...I mean I should be happy that we won another match, but at the same time I feel kinda disappointed at our performance...not to mention our form so far...now we're 4th place with the top 2 ahead of us still with a game in hand...We can only hope that Milchama drop points in that game and then we've got a bit of a chance...even then it's gonna be hard...why am I so pessimistic now? What has happened to me? Is this how I want international football management to affect me? Looks like I need to take a step back...change my outlook on life...I can't let this job consume me...doesn't mean I'm gonna slack though...

D

Rordia

06-05-2006, 16:53

RORDIA - DESTINATION NMS
Part 9: Rordia Beat Virginia Nova

Rordia won 1-0 at Virginia Nova, although they should have beaten their opponents by a much bigger scoreline.
The only goal of the game came in the 5th minute, when Tim Brick was fouled in the penalty area. He then easily slotted his penalty past the Virginia Nova keeper to give the Rordians the lead. Brick then had several good opportunities to get Rordia a bigger lead, but he squandered them all.
In the 60th minute, Peter McMenahan broke his leg in a horror foul from a Virginia Nova midfielder. However, the referee decided to take no action against the midfielder. McMenahan's injured leg means he will play no further part in the qualifying campaign. We now know for certain that Lady Luck does not like Rordia.
Rordia manager Neil van der Wal was unavailable for comment, as he was busy giving the referee a piece of his mind. And a punch.
This win means that Rordia are keeping the heat on Hypocria. We have the same number of points as they do (12), but we've scored four fewer goals and we have played a game more than them. We are also level on points with Anathematic Republics, but with a superior goal difference. Rordia don't play in the next round, but their next match will be away to Nebuleux.

LINE-UP: O'Leary; Craig, Robertson, McMenahan (Harrold), Towell; Mirren, Farrell (Badger), van der Wal (Gibson), Parkinson; Brick, Stevenson. Booked: Robertson, Towell.

OTHER RESULTS:
Bedistan 2 Nebuleux 0
Anathematic Republics 1 Narbithia 1

RORDIA PLAYER PROFILES - PART 4:
Liam Robertson
Age: 26. Position: Centre-back. Club: Eisenhower.
Liam Robertson is a key member of Rordia's defence. Robbo is the highest-capped player that wasn't in the Rordians' World Cup 25 squad. It's not hard to understand why, as he has consistently finished high in the league's successful tackles table. And he doesn't just do well with his feet - the 6ft 5in star can head the ball pretty well too. However, his disciplinary record is something that needs improving.
Freddie Monaghan
Age: 33. Position: Forward. Club: Rordic City Reds.
Freddie Monaghan is currently recovering from a long-term injury, but when he's fit again, expect him to shine. Monaghan is the country's second-most prolific striker (after Tim Brick, of course). His goal record is outstanding, and he averages two every three games. He is expected to retire from international football after this World Cup. But has his broken leg ended his Rordia career prematurely?

10 NAMES ON BONAREV PETITION
So far, Aleks Bonarev has managed to get ten names on his petition to get into Rordia's national team.
The petition has been running for a while, but the foreign defender, who is desperate to be called up to the Rordia squad, isn't very popular with fans. Hence the measly number of signatures on the petition.
He said: "Ten names good. But I want more. Much, much more."

News just in, Bonarev has managed to get 752 more names on his petition. God knows how, though. We'll keep you updated on this story.

Cataduanes

06-05-2006, 17:44

Islanders notch up second defeat

MD 9 saw the Cataduanes Seleccion travelling to St Happenin, and due to the numerous bookings in the match against Wentland many key members of the squad were rested while Armando Ribera was suspended after his red card for violent conduct. For MD 9 the Islanders lined up as follows;

Gk:Sullop
DL: De Haro
DR:Echevarria
DC:Santos
DC:Merello
ML:Bata
MR:Ruedas
MC:Lim
MC:Marron-Vega
LF:Sacario
RF:Mahabal

The home side had picked up a win, the first infact, on MD 8 at home against New Lexington but taking on the Islanders must have seemed like a daunting task. However the home side came up with a strategy with which to face the group leaders, playing with 5 at the back and 4 in the middle and a solitary striker they sought to frustrate Cataduanes,closing down passes and playing the defensive game sensibly.
For the first half all the Islanders attempts down the wings or via the middle were met with a solid wall and the Islanders only managed to notch 3 goals on target in the first half while the home side had yet to venture into opposing half. The Second half saw more of the same form both sides with the islanders growing frustration at there failure to breach the home defence was evident on the 63rd minute with Marron-Vega being booked for dissent. As the match progressed the clamour of the stadium died down with many no doubt expecting this fixture to end goaless and it would have ended thus had not been for the winning goal in the 89th minute that came from initially from the breakdown of a overcommited Islanders attack,the home side broke on the counter with the left back's longball finding the solitary St Happenin striker in space, the young lad did well to ride Angel Santos's desperate challenge and get the shot off to beat Jose Sullop. With less than two minutes left the Islanders threw on Guarin (for Mahabal) and Souletano (for Marron-Vega) to try add fresh legs in the search for a equalizer but the Home side withdraw into there disciplined defensive posture and held out for the 1-0 win.

At the post match press meet Coach Manua praised St Happenin's discipline and conviction ''they had a plan and they stuck to it, they never lost there cool and worked hard, while my boys lost there nerve and that could be seen with the bookings and other minor incidents, we have to learn to keep our cool''

Despite defeat the Islanders still top Group 12, however FMJ Phoenix closed the gap with a 3-0 win over Magnus Valerius and a game in hand. Bazalonia leapfrogged Wentland to go into third place with a 4-0 drubbing of New Lexington, however Wentland have a game in hand.

Fmjphoenix 3 Magnus Valerius 0
St. Happenin 1 Cataduanes 0
Bazalonia 4 New-Lexington 0

GROUP 12 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Cataduanes 8 6 0 2 19 8 11 18
Fmjphoenix 7 5 0 2 13 4 9 15
Bazalonia 8 4 1 3 13 10 3 13
Wentland 7 3 1 3 14 10 4 10
Magnus Valerius 8 3 0 5 10 18 -8 9
St. Happenin 8 2 2 4 5 17 -12 8
New-Lexington 8 1 2 5 7 14 -7 5

Tynelia

06-05-2006, 18:34

((OOC- work will be crazy the next week or so which means my posts will be forced to be briefer))

Tynelia falls again!

The once promising first half for Tynelia has fallen to pieces after not one but two straight home losses to lower ranked teams. This time it was Talmeria's turn to provide the loss with a 1-0 win over our home team. This means that Tynelia loses the head to head portion to the much lower ranked Talmerians 0-1-1. Interestingly there is something about this part of the draw that frightens goals. In the first half the three matches combined for one goal, this time they combined to 2. Likeiwse Krytenia has to be wondering what's going on as they had their second straight 0-0 draw against the Algal States.

Even though Tynelia is still only three points out of a qualifiying spot, they number of team in the way has increased and Tynelia is still suffering a serious goal differential disadvantage. Fans are already questioning temporary coach Marcius O'Meara for instilling in the team the same lack of offense that cost him his job after the last Cup. In three matches with him at the helm Tynelia has yet to score.

Next up comes Geisenfield which may be the only team slumping as badly as Tynelia is. Cynics claim that we should do well in this match because we'll be on the road without the home field disadvantage. More cynical people claim it won't matter who we play because Tynelia won't score a goal the rest of the tournament. With qualifying hopes growing dimmer with each shutout people are forced to wonder how things would have turned out if the still recovering Coach Greg Tudor was at the helm these past few matches. But that's just speculation and the facts show that Tynelia will have its work cut out for them now to even come close to the projected 20 points Coach Tudor predicted before the Cup began.

Boudra-Boudra

06-05-2006, 18:40

Boudra-Boudra-City, Boudra-Boudra - With the Boudra-Boudra national team playing in their very first World Cup Qualifying Tournament, most Boudran citizens are carefully following the results of their team and many have noticed that the Boudran team has not managed to keep a clean sheet for nine consecutive matches! This leeds to many people wondering if the current selection contains all the best players since they refuse to believe their team cannot do any better. However the position of coach Linus Gunfi-Pok, who managed to put Boudra-Boudra into the history books by winning the Pre WC28 Baptism of Fire tournament is not in any doubt. With tough matches coming up it is very well possible that the team will suffer goals again and so it is to wonder how long it will take before the people start complaining. On the other side, Boudra-Boudra is only ranked 116th in the world and is nevertheless still in the running for a World Cup ticket over halfway through the competition, mainly because of the splendid attackers in the team, scoring 9 times in their last four matches. All in all it seems clear that the Boudran national team needs to focus mainly on conceding less goals, now let's focus on some of the players mainly in charge of preventing those goals:

Ohène Strok'pah
Age: 24. Position: Goalkeeper. Club: Boudra-Boudra-City.

Ohène is one of the most popular, if not the most popular in the team after twice winning the "Goalkeeper of the Year" trophy in the Virsliga. After also winning the Baptism of Fire Cup with Boudra-Boudra he is eager for more throphies as he twice missed out on the podium of the Virsliga with Boudra-Boudra-City, ending fourth both times. For his national team he has played in every match except two and has improved a lot after breaking his ankle during the first season of the Virsliga.

Hanz Buyakasha
Age: 30. Position: Defender. Club: Kanzi.

Leader on and off the field, Hanz shows class, flair, decisiveness and ofcourse leadership as he continuously guides his fellow players on the pitch. Hanz is one of the four players who have played in every match for Boudra-Boudra and there is no reason why he should be falling out of that group soon as his performances are very solid. However, his performance in the Virsliga is less impressing, as his team Kanzi only became sixth after being second last season. Hanz won the "Defender and Player of the Year" award in season one, but was not even nominated in season two. Some people believe his poor performance at his club is due to unhappyness, as rumours say Hanz wants to leave his club to play for a bigger club.

Billy-Bob Stephenson
Age: 25. Position: Defender. Club: Quelzar.

Being quite a silent guy, Billy-Bob is not so well known by the Boudran general public, however the football fans know him from his timed-to-perfection tackles and excellent teamwork. Billy-Bob dares to dribble past two forwards and take some risks instead of just kicking the ball away to defend his goal and he succeeds very often in doing that without causing any danger. Winning the "Defender of the Year" award in season two, Billy-Bob was added to the squad thereafter and has been with the team from just after Baptism of Fire adventure.

Indridi-Ptô Burns
Age: 23. Position: Defender. Club: Quelzar.

Together with Billy-Bob Stephenson and reserve keeper Petr Fhinkzc, Indridi-Ptô Burns is one of three players from Quelzar who joined the team after the Baptism of Fire Tournament. Since then he has managed to earn his place into the starting eleven and has done that through impressing performances for his age. He had shown his skills earlier at Quelzar, helping his team to a third place in the second season of the Virsliga. He was nominated for the title of "Defender of the Year" also in season 2, but his teammate Billy-Bob won the trophy.

Raging Penguins

06-05-2006, 18:43

The National Informant

The Team Loses, things back to Normal–Almost

After a strange and disturbing series of games which The Team didn't lose in, Ariddia finally made things right by beating them by 1 point. After all, the last time Ariddia played The Team, they won by 3. However, The Team did score a point, which is worrying, because it's our tax money on the line if they demand a pay raise.

However, as in all of The Team's latest games, there was much violence, especially when Micheal Swimmer got too close to The Penguin, and the ex-marine attempted to scalp the Ariddian Midfielder, but was stopped by Mrs. Tweezly slapping The Team's captain with her meterstick. Mrs. Tweezly had displayed her inner hostility in the beginning of the match, when the Ariddians were performing their strange little foriegn dance. The ex-teacher marched over to their keeper and demanded, in a shrill authoritarian voice, to know why a respectable football team was acting like a "street gang of stone age savages", a remark which brought boos and rotten fruit from the small, and almost entirely Ariddian crowd.

After Willie Dees unconcious exit from the field in The Team's game against The Emperialist, he was back with a vengeance, the Extremely Dangerous Hair bristling with anger at being deprived of a game the day before. The Hair's fury was evident after Ariddian captain Ue Alt shot a goal straight into the symbiote's waiting follicles and the enourmous, malevolent afro sent the ball back at a spectacular speed, narrowly missing the Ariddian's head and causing the unfortunate ball to bounce neatly into the back of Devious Penguin's head. Suffice to say, nobody will ever play with that particular ball again, as it was the victim of Devious' spiteful rage.

After several fouls were called - and ignored - Furious Porridge managed to make a goal on the Ariddians, after managing to get the ball past the opposing teams Defense by passing it consistently to the ever-fearsome(and awfully strict) Mrs. Tweezly. Sandrine Leduc, probably remembering Tweezly's pre-game lecture, was unable to stop the shot.

Afterwards, Al Broller commented that the reason The Team had lost was becuase somebody had misplaced the heavy machinegun, and Devious Penguin had stolen the anti-tank guns to use in his latest doomsday device.
This may well be true because the only way they'd have ever won against Ariddia was to have killed their entire team, and they didn't have nearly enough grenades to pull that off.

Kirstiriera

06-05-2006, 19:01

Now Commerce Heights is on the addenda as the Angels try to strike back after their heart breaking defeat to Casari in MD9 and hope to bring back some of the fight the Angels had against the Maccabees. The Commerce Heights squad humilated our Angels 3-0 at their home leg and hopefully the Angels will not repeat that misery at the Witherena Stadium.
The rough part of the Angels schedule is about to end with the arrival of the CH match... minnows Nankaland, the Bye Week, Alberthame, and finally Molvania are in the wings for the Green Angels in their journey to make WC28 Proper...
The Angels need to get their attack in order at this point in the tournament to help them get the needed points to make the final tournament proper and also avoid the qualification playoffs.
(the Green Angels are in 4th Place in Group 14 with 13 points, 2 less than the teams tied in 2nd Place...)

Wentland

06-05-2006, 21:20

Edgar Bluff was serenity itself with the Cataduano manager and the Press after the Islander game. A bit different in the dressing-room. Hairdryer treatment? There had been wetter supernovae.

But the next game was in sunny Magnus Valerius. Qualification was looking ropey now. Fmjphoenix were the next team on the list. They had slipped up a couple of times but could not be expected to blow it, surely? Barring a home win against them, anyway...

Hold my head
We'll trampoline
Finally through the roof...

Joe Weston was concerned about his midfield partner. Capper was somewhat out of sorts in Cataduanes, looking slow and tired after his firecracker display against the top seeds. But Capper seemed to have picked up a little for the trip to Magnus Valerius.

On to somewhere near
And far in time...

Capper left the team as usual at their hotel...he was back later looking haggard. He slipped through the back gate where no-one could observe. But Joe Weston saw him - and was aghast. Capper looked ancient.

She can really move
Oh velveteen...

Weston approached manager Bluff but in the end decided not to reveal anything. Capper sent a message through saying he would travel to the ground separately; this was not uncommon for him.

Joe Weston decided to go early to the stadium to get a feel for the area. He was there at 1pm and sought the dressing room. He saw the door open and inside Capper, there already, staring into a velvet pocket...he seemed to be back to normal. Weston slipped away without letting on. Capper was OK. What was going on?

The team arrived within minutes. Bluff noticed Capper present and chose him in midfield alongside Weston as normal. But as the team went out Capper, the captain, said he wanted to go out last. Only Joe Weston hung back a little and peeked through the dressing room door frame as he watched Capper take an obsidian model of a castle turret out of the velvet bag. Capper smiled at it and gazed at it until the buzzer went. Capper replaced it carefully as Weston scuttled off.

Joe Weston was puzzled. What gives?

Mr Chuck Norris

06-05-2006, 21:21

Chuck Norris News
For All Of Your Fighting Norris Coverage

Due to a massive blackout over a good portion of The Supernatural Realm of Mr Chuck Norris over the past couple of days, we weren't able to update all you viewers on the Fighting Norris' last couple of matches. We will do so now starting with the Matchday 8 game at Five Civilized Nations:

Mr Chuck Norris 4 (Chuck Norris 13, 31, 77)(Brian Boitano 22)
Five Civilized Nations 1 (Forward "A" 40)

Another hat trick against Five Civilized Nations!? That's the second this tourney! Indeed, this game was a whipping and a half as the Fighting Norris strolled into Five Civilized Nations and walked out with smiles.

In the first half, the Fighting Norris "five-forward offense" got off three successful drives against a Five Civilized Nations (5CN for short) defense notorious for stuggling with the wave of forwards of the Fighting Norris. Goals were scored in the 13th and 33rd minutes by an unstoppable Chuck Norris, who has been declared as a "5CN-killer" after his performance. The other goal was scored by rookie Brian Boitano in the 22nd minute, who truly has impressed many fans, players, and coaches alike.

However, it was apparent that the Fighting Norris offense had gotten too aggressive when 5CN managed to easily overwhelm the Fighting Norris defense in the 40th minute for their first and only score of the match. The half expired with the score 3-1 in the Fighting Norris favor. Coming out from halftime, we asked coach of the Fighting Norris, Bob Janney, what his strategy for the second half was. He responded with the indirect "a good offense is the best defense".

Suprisingly, he was right. The Fighting Norris managed to keep 5CN from scoring the entire second half by keeping the ball amongst their five forwards. It was more a game of keepaway than football, but it worked rather well. Heck, Chuck Norris even decided to further the margin of victory in the 77th minute with another goal, scoring him another hat trick.

Time expired with the Fighting Norris up 4-1 and 5CN walking off the field disappointed.

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Naturally, when a team wins 4-1 against one team like the Fighting Norris did, it's only fitting to lose 1-4 against the next:

Mr Chuck Norris 1 (Brian Boitano 56)
Squornshelous 4 (Oleg Petrov 15, 31, 44, 63)

We hat going into the details of matches like this one but we're payed to, so here's what we got.

Squornshelous, as mentioned in several of our previous newscasts, has a rich history in football and is known for their deadly 3-2-2-1-2 formation. The Fighting Norris are a relatively new team to the sport of football and run a radical but inferior 2-3-5 "five-forward offense". The main factor in this match was easily the formations as Squornshelous tore apart the generally-effective forwards of the Fighting Norris.

By halftime, Oleg Petrov of Squornshelous had already racked up 3 goals for Squornshelous and had left the defense of the Fighting Norris begging for mercy. Even though so many people would be content with their performance by now, Petrov apparently wanted more as seen later in this coverage.

Luckily, the complex Squornshelous defense started to show weakness in the second half as the defenders hoarded Chuck Norris, allowing Brian Boitano to score his second goal in two matches. However, Squornshelous still had a dominant 3-1 lead and weren't finished with the damage yet.

Only 7 minutes after the Fighting Norris' one and only goal, Oleg Petrov found himself yet again with a wide open goal to score on. Obviously he took that advantage and scored his incredible fourth goal of the day. Although we here at CNN are not certain, we're confident that Petrov had played the best game of his life against the Fighting Norris.

As time ran out, Squornshelous celebrated another victory and walked off the field with the scoreboard displaying 4-1 in Squornshelous' favor.

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"Hello again, Bob Janney here bringing you the group analysis you've been waiting for. This series of two matches has been alright for team, as we still sit in third place in group four with 13 points. With Squornshelous in first place with 17 points and Cuation in second with 15 points, qualification is still conceivable for the Fighting Norris. However, both Bettia and Five Civilized Nations are nipping at our heels with 11 points a piece. Our next match at home against Bettia is vital to our success in this cup as a win would put in an amazing position with Cuation on bye next matchday. The problem is, if we lose, Bettia passes us up and Five Civilized Nations could to. This match is pivitol in the sense that its outcome is the difference between second place and still in the race or fifth place and needing to make up ground. All we can hope to do is perform as well in this match as we did the first time we played Bettia. Naturally, your support is a must as we continue our World Cup 28 campaign."

World Cup 28 Schedule of the Fighting Norris:
Matchday 1: Vs. Five Civilized Nations (Won 4-2)
Matchday 2: Vs. Squornshelous (Loss 0-2)
Matchday 3: At Bettia (Won 3-1)
Matchday 4: At Cuation (Loss 1-3)
Matchday 5: On Bye
Matchday 6: Vs. Slakaj (Won 1-0)
Matchday 7: Vs. Burning Penguins (Draw 2-2)
Matchday 8: At Five Civilized Nations (Won 4-1)
Matchday 9: At Squornshelous (Loss 1-4)
Matchday 10: Vs. Bettia
Matchday 11: Vs. Cuation
Matchday 12: On Bye
Matchday 13: At Slajak
Matchday 14: At Burning Penguins

Fighting Norris World Cup 28 Record: (4-1-3)

Tinsuvilia

07-05-2006, 00:03

http://img280.imageshack.us/img280/2810/tfnlogo8lq.png

Sturmkrieger Lose A Match, But Stay In 2nd!

A 2-0 matchday 9 loss to McPsychoville earlier means a lower morale for the team, but the fact that they hold onto their 2nd place position brings it back up. Still one point above McPsychoville in the group standings, the Sturmkrieger are setting themselves in a defensive stance, hoping to hold onto their qualifying spot.

A troubling event occured in the 18th minute, when forward Kavelt fell to the turf clutching his right knee. Fortunately, he would return late in the game, and is expected to play in matchday 10.

Tinsuvilia:
0
McPsychoville:
2 ("X" ?, "Y" ?)

Schiavonia

07-05-2006, 00:32

The Schiavone Scribe
SLOTHS FORGET MATCH, STILL WIN
Schiavonia 2-1 Spaam

Just as they did last time they played Spaam in a friendly, Schiavonia managed to overcome the Waffles, although this one was one of the most unlikely games you are likely to see.

After a dispute with the World Cup hosts, the Spaamanians seemed reluctant to travel, even for a friendly game. They managed to get to the stadium in time for kick-off. However, their opponents didn't, and were rushed on, delaying the game's start time by a few minutes.

With no warm ups taking place and a very small crown in attendance, the two teams seemed more intent on using the game as a glorified training exercise than an actual game.

For the record, three goals went in, all of which were officially credited to Schiavonia's Jermaine Edwards. Although one was a typical striker's defensive header.

Next week, it's back to the real business, as the Sloths will be looking to get their own back over CR Oscilloscopes after the disappointing one-nil reverse at the King Francesco Stadium on Matchday Three.

Final score
Schiavonia 2 (Edwards 21, 40)
Spaam 1 (Edwards o.g. 53)

Alasdair I Frosticus

07-05-2006, 02:03

Iksonic 0 - Alasdair I Frosticus 1

Haraki 2 - Alasdair I Frosticus 2

Residents of Ordinary Physical Reality may have had the following dream last night. The Holy Empire Football Association would particularly like to apologise today due to the occasionally disturbing nature of the contents.

"Basil!"

"Theo!"

"So where are we tonight? Iksonic? Haraki?"

"Both!"

"Oh, did we skip a day?"

"Or two, Theo. But I have a special treat for viewers tonight."

"What's that, Basil?"

"Following the recent award of a funding grant from the Imperial Arts Council, I am able to bring you tonight's round-up through the purely visual medium of interpretive dance."

"Fantastic. And I can see how, as you bend your sinewy muscles into myriad symbolically meaningful forms, you first bring to us the sweeping feeling of euphoria that accompanied the team's second victory over group cellar-dwellers Iksonic. Magnificent. Ah.... now you're moving on to the Haraki match.... Yes. I see it. Tzimisces scores the first.... now Haraki equalise.... now for a split second you become a woman... no - you are woman - though I concede the theological nature of the symbolism escapes me.... and Tzimisces scores a late equaliser. Now you are taking your clothes off, for reasons that completely escape me, and.... you're defecating in the middle of the studio, no doubt in a bold interpretive gesture of contempt for the team's record so far, and, you're smearing your fecal matter all over your chest... and this, quite frankly, is simply the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.... Oh Basil... I thought you were over this. All those years in the mental institution, and we all thought you were cured. How can you do this to me? I thought we were friends.... Turn the camera off... just turn it...

[static]

Milchama

07-05-2006, 02:08

Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Domestic-International-Star-News-Today

Sports Section

Milchama lose in a very friendly match

Our bye day, the time to rest and go to ASMV to regain some composure and play a fun match against the Sea Dragons. While we won the first leg of the series the second leg was not as great as we lost to them 3-2. The redoing of the 3-3-1-3 formation for the first time since WC 24 did alright as Copperlee showed why he was the best player in Milchama today. Coach Jamie Smith said, "The offense performed well today. We did our job well and they did enough to win its just unfortunate that the defense could not play well. All in all I'm happy with the performance and happy that we could get this oppurtunity to play another match to help us out. I also want to say that we will adopt the 3-3-1-3 formation for the rest of the cup."

Well we're to lazy to report on a friendly we're just happy that we are still in a world cup spot with a game in hand.

Final Score:
Milchama 2 (Albentine 21, Nielson 50)
ASMV 3 (Alexander 11, 45, Evans 62)

Raging Penguins Report:
Despite another good goal from Furious Porridge the Team could not pull of the victory over Arridia as they lost 2-1.

Milchama Man of the Match:
Spot Nielson- He showed that he could play out of position today as his crosses and his instinctive of when to go inside helped the Warriors score both of their goals. He will be an intracle part of their campaign.

Squornshelous

07-05-2006, 03:57

Sibling Rivalry?

There has been some debate concerning a certain pair of Squornshelan players in this cup. Brothers Vasili (28) and Oleg (21) Petrov are just the third pair of siblings to play for the Pschychoes in their almost 100 year footballing history. Vasili has played as expected, like a typically dominant Squornshelan striker, leading the team in scoring along with his fellow forward Iannis Xenakis. Oleg has been quieter, not yet scoring a goal from his midfield position. Now, there are some in Squornshelous who believed that Oleg had only made the team on the reputation of his brother, rather than his own skills. Oleg silenced those doubters in his most recent match with a feat seldom matched in international football.

Squornshelous certainly came into the match expecting a win, but certainly not in this fashion. There was much celebration when young Oleg put in the first internation goal of his career in the 15th minute. With a full seven players forward, the intricate passing and large numbers of the Squornshelan attack utterly overwhelmed the three man defense, even with their midfielders back to help. Oleg found himself all alone in the penatly area with a clear shot on net and took it. No one even remotely suspected that he'd be doing that three more times! By halftime, Oleg had found himself in the right place at the right time two further times and scored his first hat trick since the start of his professional career.

Oleg was all smiles coming out onto the field for the second half, as was the rest of the team. Despite playing a bit more conservatively at the start of the half, Squornshelous did give up a goal to the Fighting Norris' five strikers. Following the goal, scoerd by Bryan Boitano, his second in as many matches, team leaders Vasili Petrov, Franz Peterson and Goran Syvatov met prior to the kickoff and discussed something. It soon became evident that they'd decided to go back on the attack, sticking with what had worked in the first half. As Syvatov explained after the match, "We decided that the best thing we could do to keep the ball away from their attackers would be to attack." Manager Seamus McCormack was full of praise for his team, "I'm very proud that they were able to come together and make that adjustment."

So the stage was set for one of the most surprising moments of qualifying so far, indeed, one of the most surprising in cup history. Just seven minutes after Boitano's goal, passing once again left a Squornshelan player with an open shot on net; and once again he burried it for the goal. As the cameras focused on the player, jaws around the world hung open in disbelief. Once again, Oleg Petrov had found an open spot in the defense and scored.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 4-1 Mr. Chuck Norris

Squornshelous' Scorers:
O. Petrov: 4
V. Petrov: 4
Xenakis: 4
Harris: 2
Syvatov: 2
Khabarov: 1

New Montreal States

07-05-2006, 05:03

Matchday 10 Scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10910898&postcount=10), be the first on your block to get them!

Tinsuvilia

07-05-2006, 06:47

http://img280.imageshack.us/img280/2810/tfnlogo8lq.png
3-0 Win Gives Sturmkrieger Lead A Boost!

Tinsuvilia's streets erupted with joy last night at the final whistle of a 3-0 blowout of Kelse by the national Sturmkrieger.

The upset came on a crucial night, putting the already 2nd place Sturmkrieger even higher above the mess that is 3rd place. Now up 4 points, the team can actually almost afford to lose a match.

Almost.

Tinsuvilia:
3 (Kavelt 27, 56, Davon 67)
Kelse:
0

Rorysville

07-05-2006, 06:48

http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/3189/sportsnetrv9bw.png
Sportsnet RV Soccer Central

Well this is not a repeat the Mighty Rorysville Moose have earned a 1 all draw against #8 Jeruselem.
"Well last time we played them some said we were lucky to earn the Draw I think this Draw will Show the rest of the World Rorysville is not an easy opponent. We had great finishing on our plays leading us to have a few chances at winning the match our weakpoint was late in the game when we gave up the tieing goal"--Coach McKlintok
"I am completely estatic over our result we were able to hang with the number eight club in the world and get a draw and it wasn't the first time this draw will have great effects on us getting Government support"--Mike Jasper

Statistics from Game #9 vs. Jeruselem
Goals for RV
J.S.Cousteau(11min)
Goals for JER
G.Shout(83min)
Yellow Cards Assesed
RV-D.Desalle(25min)
JER-O.Masha(67min)
of note-RM-Alexander Nikolishin left the game early with a groin pull RM Jean-Sebastain Cousteau will fill in for him until he is ready to go again.Injured Midfielder Mark Schweitzer will be out for at least 4 more matches with a sprained knee.

Other Scores from Group 7
Boudra-Boudra 0 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 2
Philthealbino 0 Becquerelia 1

Group 7 Standings after Matchday 10
GROUP 7 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Jeruselem 8 5 2 1 12 6 6 17
Becquerelia 9 5 0 4 14 11 3 15
ASMV 8 5 0 3 10 7 3 15
Rorysville 9 4 2 3 15 14 1 14
Kericia 8 4 1 3 12 8 4 13
Boudra-Boudra 8 4 0 5 10 14 -4 12
Philthealbino 9 0 1 8 3 16 -13 1

Rorysville WC28 Schedule
MD 1: (unranked) Philthealbino W 1-0
MD 2: #72 Bequerelia L 4-1
MD 3: @#8 Jeruselem D 2-2
MD 4: @#32 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega W 3-1
MD 5: @#45 Kericia L 2-1
MD 6: BYE
MD 7: @#116 Boudra-Boudra L 2-1
MD 8: @(unranked) Philthealbino W 3-1
MD 9: @#72 Bequerelia W 3-2
MD10: #8 Jeruselem D 1-1
MD11: #32 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
MD12: #45 Kericia
MD13: BYE
MD14: #116 Boudra-Boudra

Sportsnet RV Player of the Match-Jean-Sebastian Cousteau

Dorian and Sonya

07-05-2006, 07:09

Unicorns Still Have Vilita's Number
Might be the only number we have, but it's a good one.

Queen Sonya was seen in better spirits following today’s match against Vilita. Once again the Mystical Unicorns had risen to the challenge and knocked off one of the former premier sides in the World Cup. The thorn the Unicorns had become in Vilita’s side was quickly making its way to even more vital areas. Proof of that was seen today in the most dominant of the wins D&S had yet collected against them - 4-2.

The action had started fast for the Unicorns. Alassea Ancalímon cleared an attempt by Vilita in the 6th minute of play. And the result could not have been better if it had been scripted. Tári Falassion received the ball in full stride and easily beat the defensive effort. A wondrous pass forward found Unicorn superstar, Altáriël Telperiën whose nifty move easily sent the Vilitan keeper in the wrong direction to stop her from scoring. D&S 1 Vilita 0.

In the 34th minute the Unicorns struck again. And someone else finally scored for the squad. Gilraen Tinúviel finally proved the talent that had moved her into a starting position. The rocket of a shot easily beat two defenders and the keeper. D&S 2 Vilita 0

But Vilita refused to go away quietly. By the end of the half they had pulled the score back to even with goals in the 38th and 42nd minutes. All even a 2 headed into the half.

The Unicorns knew they had Vilita’s number. And the smothering attack led to Telperiën goals in the 67th and 80th minutes as she completed the hat trick - The second of those in her short career. Vilita never managed another decent attempt and the final whistle saw the Unicorns leave the pitch 4-2 winners.

Next up for our girls is a date with Kaze Progressa. We knocked these guys off at their place on MD4 and need some more home field magic to do so again and salvage something in these qualifiers.

Upset Watch

Group 1 - Narbithia dominated world #1 Bedistan 3-1
Group 2 - See above article
Group 3 - The Squids of Georgeonia knocked off Praying2God 1-0
Group 4 - Slakaj crushed Five Civilized Nations 3-1
Group 5 - Zorinia downed Audioslavia 1-0
Group 8 - Raging Penguins ousted Elrich 3-0
Group 9 - Tinusivilia knocked off Kelse 3-0
Group10- Blitwher downed Collonie 3-2
Group13- Northern Ceasarea beat Apologetic Kittens 3-2
Group15- Geisenfried blanked Tynelia 1-0

Not listed are a large number of draws, 9 of which involved the top two seeds of their respective groups.

Jeruselem

07-05-2006, 07:14

* Weird theme song *

Rachel "Good morning. This Rachel Goldstein for JGN reporting from the World Cup 28. Today we played Rorysville, dropped two valuable points. Yes, only Jeruselem in Group 7 seem capable of draws and we drew with Rorysville one all. The Rory team defended like Lions and frustated the Crusaders all day long, they even scored first to shock the 8th seed. In true Jeruselem style, we did the late-late show finally breaking down the Rory defense and getting a point back. Two dropped points which helped everyone else and not helping Roryville at all. Jeruselem are still 1st."

* SOme guys whistle at Rachel *

Rachel "Sorry, horny fans. We said it, Boudra-Boudra to lose and they did. Boudra-Boudra lost to the Sea Dragons whose two nil win put them back on track. The old dragons are back and the Boudra team are back on the losing streak again. They drop to 2nd last now. Becquerelia are back with a rather scrappy win over Phil the Albino. Most teams expect to beat this team and a one nil win was enough but the Phil team showed some fight once again."

* SOme guys whistle at Rachel again *

Rachel "Sorry, this happens when you wear a short skirt. Kericia had the bye out the way and let's look at the table now. It's more clear. Jeruselem head the group on 17 points while Becquerelia and Sea Dragons sit on 15. Becquerelia have a bye so their position is under threat still. Rorysville are 3 points out on 14 points and also have bye sitting in 4th. Kericia are 5th but have no bye now and expect them to move up away from 13 points. Boudra-Boudra are in trouble - they have a bye and sit 2nd last. Phil and Albino is eliminated really."

* SOme guys whistle at Rachel again *

Rachel "It's windy out here. Hockey Canada beat Alasdair I Frosticus and sit like Kings on their group. They look really secure and heck, we wish our group was like theirs. Nedalia had a bye so don't panic Lions fans. They are still 2nd but watch for Chicanada attack of late."

"So four games left and four teams to have byes.5 point between 1st and 6th, so any losses will hurt. Four teams will be praying the byes don't hurt them. 9 points max available to be gained for teams with byes and the others can grab 12 if they win all their games. Jeruselem had trouble with Rorysville, but the draw hurt the Rory team really as they needed 3 points to counter their bye. Sea Dragons roared and Becquerelia score a critical win."

<pause>

"OK, it helps if you don't forget to wear underwear ... Just to finish. Jeruselem aren't out of the Woods yet, four games left and 12 points to gain including tricky games against teams like the Sea Dragons and Kericia."

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

07-05-2006, 07:43

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg

Sea Dragons Regaining Form - Crusaders in Control

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from Boudra-Boudra.

On MD3, Boudra-Boudra walked into Stadii Se Draggonnii Arcea and stole the match. That loss the spiraled ASMV to the depths of Group7 when it was followed by another home loss to Rorysville. Some redemption was earned today as ASMV left Boudra-Boudra with a 2-0 victory.

The Sea Dragon defense set the tone early as Micah Swift and the Banta-N’bai brothers showed why ASMV only plays 3 dedicated defenders. Boudra-Boudra seemed dazed and confused by the pressure and the physical play they were the victim of.

Evan Evans made that defensive pressure switch to an offensive threat in the 39th minute of play. The quick move downfield left the BB defense wondering where he went, and the team play that involved 6 passes and 5 players found Porche Alexander streaking in for the easy goal. Jenni Ulrich would add the second on a well timed header from a Pablo Iglesias corner kick in the 59th minute. That would be the final score as BB never regained any serious composure to mount a comeback.

Elsewhere around Group 7:
Rorysville pulled off their second draw with top seed Jeruselem. As they play host to the Sea Dragons in the next match, that is big news. They are capable of upsets. We found that out at home on MD4. The second phase of the retibution we spoke of earlier involves returning the favor.

Bequerelia stayed even with the Sea Dragons by downing cellar-dweller Philthealbino 1-0. Now we have a chance to move ahead of them as they will be at home on a bye date.

Group 7 is still unbelievably tight. 5 squads have between 12 and 15 points in the hunt for that important 2nd position. Jeruselem is just ahead of that with 17 points. This one may be close until the final day.

Friends watch:
Hypocria saw Nebulux keep even at 3-3
Dorian and Sonya again beat Vilita. This time 4-2
Cuation was relaxing on a beach somewhere
Ariddia was looking to join them on that beach but got lost
Milchama easily handles Oglethorpia 3-1
Tadjikistan crushed Radke 3-0

Tadjikistan

07-05-2006, 10:21

At last, Tigers on top

Radke - The storm has finally blown over and the critics remain silent as they saw the Tadjik Tigers join Spruitland at the top of group 13 after their win against Atheistic Right. Offcourse it wasnt over yet, the Tigers still had a long road and some strong opponents to face. One of those was Radke, while they still had a bye date on their schedule, they were third and quite capable of an upset.

The Tadjik Tigers dealt with that threat today in a calm and professional manner, morale wass high as was the will to win this match. The opposition was though and especially in th early stages of the match, Radke tried to get a few shots at the Tadjik box. Suchomlinov had alot of work, keeping the ball out of his goal in the first fifteen minutes, until the Tadjik Tigers began to put pressure on Radke.

The remainder of that first half saw Radke hold on, a beautiful shot by Tulberdiev grazed of the top bar and over the Radke box. The fans had to wait until the second half to see a dominant Tadjikistan.
In that second half, The Tigers reorganized themselves and formed a tight block, probably at Zaevs request. Radke too tried to beef up its defenses by lining up in front of their box and for a while this seemed to work until Elisarov broke through on the right flank in the 68th minute and sent Zyrianov through the center. Elisarovs assist, high over Radke heads, went into the right corner of Radke's box from the 27-year old strikers head.
Tadjikistans opponents had survived quite long and showed themselves a strong team, although it was to be expected, this goal still surprised Radke and it took them a while to get back in top form.

The Tigers took advantage of the this temporary weakness and pushed for more, Tulberdiev made another attempt at scoring from a distance and this time, drove his shot right under the top bar into the goal. Only minutes after that, midfielder Yuri Maximov outmaneuvred a Radke defender and found himself free to take a shot. The Radke goalkeeper made his move and tried to block the shot, but the ball bounced over his left leg and into his empty goal.
While the Tadjiks secured their three points, the Radkeans(?) understood they lost this one and tried to keep the situation from getting worse by throwing everything on the defense. The Tadjik threat, however, was gone. The Tigers were more than happy with the score.

Zaev cheered and spoke optimisticly: 'Seven points seperate us from Radke now, all we have to do is win our next two matches and we've qualified. I'm not saying those matches will be easy, Apologetic Kittens is a strong side and Northern Ceasarea has played a few strong matches. But we can beat both teams and we'll have the Tadjik fans to support us like a 12th player. We're almost there, f**king up now would be really stupid.'

GROUP 13 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Tadjikistan 8 5 3 0 16 3 13 18
Spruitland 8 4 4 0 12 3 9 16
N. Caesarea 9 2 5 2 8 9 -1 11
Radke 9 3 2 4 10 15 -5 11
Atheistic Right 9 2 2 5 8 11 -3 8
Apo. Kittens 9 2 2 5 7 12 -5 8
Pastorville 8 2 2 4 6 14 -8 8

MD1: Bye
MD2: Atheistic Right - Tadjikistan D 0-0
MD3: Tadjikistan - Radke W 4-2
MD4: N. Ceasarea - Tadjikistan D 1-1
MD5: Apo. Kittens - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD6: Tadjikistan - Pastorville W 4-0
MD7: Tadjikistan - Spruitland D 0-0
MD8: Bye
MD9: Tadjikistan - Atheistic Right W 2-0
MD10: Radke - Tadjikistan W 0-3
MD11: Tadjikistan - N. Ceasarea
MD12: Tadjikistan - Apo. Kittens
MD13: Pastorville - Tadjikistan
MD14: Spruitland - Tadjikistan

Tadjik Goalscorers:
Saradov - 5
Zyrianov - 5
Tulberdiev - 3
Elisarov - 1
Kirponos - 1
Maximov - 1

Lisburn Mateys

07-05-2006, 10:46

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
Sarzonia show their class

"Matey till i die, I'm a Mateys till i die,, i know i am, I'm sure i am, I'm a Matey till i die........."
That was the song the rang out around the national Stadium at the Maze as Mateys gave their all trying to overcome the mighty Sarzonia in matchday 10.
Although the Mateys didn't win the fans in a full stadium realized the commitment and and joy the players had wearing the famous red and white shirt.

Manager Paul Kirk changed the Mateys tactics to play a 4-5-1 as Sarzonia are the strongest team in the group.

Mateys went out and tried to swarm the midfield and managed to do it, well for the first 20 minutes. The Sarzonia team turned on the style and pushed forward with Kenny Cooper hitting the post. The Mateys thought they could make it to hald time on level terms, but keeny Cooper scored just before half time.

Paul Kirks team talk must have been a good as the Mateys came out for the second half looking very positive but playing with a lone striker up front chances where limited and also the old striking habbits began to return as many of the chances the Mateys did get where wasted, until the Mateys got a corner after Stephan Mc Niece's shot was turned round the corner. Livingston was probally aiming for the big man Marvin Andrews in the middle and flighted the ball to him. Andrews headed the ball but didnt get enough force behind it so fell to the ground and predatory striker Amusi Akobyi poked the ball in, the crowd erupted!!!

However again that the start of the half the Mateys started brightly they seemed to sit back and allow the Sarzonian's to start threatening the Matey goal mouth again, but the defence held.

David Armstrong was immense on the left side of defence making tackle after tackle, nothing was getting past him, but credit must go to the whole team for putting in the defencive work, but you cant defend forever against a team like Sarzonia and they found a way through Calvin Olson towards the end of the game, the Mateys where distraught, nut the fans sung on and they where proud of their team , because at times the lowly Mateys side matched a team ranked 13th in the world, not bad for our first ever world cup.
It was good to see the Sarzonians swapping shirts with Mateys players at the end of the game and Sarzonian fans said they had enjoyed the experience and Mateys fans where very friendly and helpful.

Final score
Lisburn Mateys 1 - 2 Sarzonia
Kenny Cooper - 41
Amusi Akobyi - 62
Calvin Olson - 85

GROUP 11 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Sarzonia 8 6 2 0 18 5 13 20
Milchama 8 5 1 2 18 11 7 16
Lisburn Mateys 9 3 3 3 13 13 0 12
Giant Zucchini 8 3 2 3 10 9 1 11
Oglethorpia 9 3 2 4 12 14 -2 11
Swilatia 9 2 3 4 10 16 -6 9
Khenas 9 1 1 7 7 19 -12 4

Qualification looks beyond our limits now as we currently lye in 3rd position but the two teams above us both have played one less game than us, but we never expected to qualify, we just didnt want to embarress ourselves and so far we haven't.

Wentland

07-05-2006, 11:29

Wentland Sentinel
Ave atque vale, Edgar?
Oh, for a muse of foot-ball that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention. The drear mischance of happenstance that afflicts the Wentland warriors so adverse hath envoyed Mr Bluff Esq to the undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveller has ever returned. Ay, it is but a matter of time before King Edgar is deposed and the winter of discontent be made glorious summer by a son of Went.

It is a dread time for the Swifts. To-morrow and to-morrow and to-morrow creeps in this petty pace from match to match. The brief candle of World Cup qualification is all but out. For the poor players failed to overcome Magnus Valerius and the cohort in brightest blue and the resultant equality ensures a pentad of points separates the Swifts from the glorious finale.

The Fort Boyar proved impenetrable. The Swift defence was sure. But, o, villain, villain, smiling, damned, villain! The fallible Derrington coped not with a speculative strike from the perennial trickster Urt-Urumqi and Magnus Valerius had a lead.

'Tis fortunate that Weston had a lean and hungry look and dug deep with the noblest Swift of them all, Mr Capper. Weston ploughing through the midfield morass, Capper constant as the northern star. And it was Capper's utilisation of a backheel over his own head to release Weston to trebuchet an assay at goal that led to retribution.

Alas the Swifts are afraid of greatness. Victory was elusive. Sibel transcendent. Swifts descendent. A paucity of imagination and an excess of malfortune combine to devastate the homeland.

Something is rotten in the state of Wentland. New-Lexington will come to bury Bluff.

Starblaydia

07-05-2006, 11:46

Starblaydia To Qualify Tomorrow?
One win away from qualification in Group 3

After ten matchdays, with eight games and two friendlies, Starblaydia sit high atop Group Three, looking down on those below:

GROUP 3 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Starblaydia 8 7 0 1 14 4 10 21
Vuam and Isma 9 5 0 4 14 13 -1 14
------------- - - - - -- -- --- --
Praying2God 8 4 1 3 9 5 4 13
Gaspland 9 3 2 4 16 15 1 11
Harlesburg 8 3 1 4 10 14 -4 10
Dauna Hills 9 2 3 4 12 16 -4 9
Georgeonia 9 2 1 6 6 17 -11 7

Starblaydia are so high, in fact, that it's certainly possible for the white-and-purples to Qualify tomorrow. A win over Gaspland would put Starblaydia ten points ahead of Vuam and Isma with the same number of games played. Then Starblaydia would be uncatchable by the Vuami, leaving only Praying2God to be able to challenge them for the Group Winners' spot. With the top-two going forward to The Archregimancy and New Montreal States, Starblaydia would be there.

Vuam and Isma, who have a bye match tomorrow, have no control over whether they can overtake Starblaydia. Praying2God, however, lie eight points behind Starblaydia - on the same number of games played - with twelve points left to win. Taking even mathematical extremes into account, Harlesburg could feasibly still win the group, though they'd be lucky to Qualify at all.

So, the maths for Starblaydia are simple. Beat Gaspland and qualification for the cup is ensured. Beat Vuam and Isma the day after and the Group Winner slot is definitely Starblaydia's. Other than the slip-up at home to Harlesburg, Khim Azanulbizarn's plans are going rather well this time.

Final score from Daunan Hills City:
Dauna Hills 1 - 2 Starblaydia
(Edwards 53) - (Tolkacheva 28, Drazarim 76)

Cataduanes

07-05-2006, 12:49

UNFR SPORTS GROUP 12 UPDATE

MD 10 had some surprises alright, FMJPhoenix failed to kill off New Lexington only getting one point, while debutants New Lexington are eliminated.
The Swifts could not overcome Magnus Valerius also taking one point, Wentland have had an up and down tournament so far and with Bazalonia moving away from them with a 3-1 win away at St Happenin qualifacation looks remote.
Bazalonia have at times been inconsistent like the Swifts but have picked up crucial wins to now be level on points with FMJ Phoenix, however the Vikings do have a game in hand and are also secure in second place on goal difference.
How does that leave the Islanders chances?, they face Magnus Valerius away on MD 11, in there last meeting the Boyars were chrushed 4-1 at the Estadio Nacional and many of the sporting pundits across the UNFR region are sure that the Islanders will take all 3 points in to take Cataduanes closer to quaifying for there second WC finals. However Coach Manua warned against complacency ''we must think at any point the work is done, we have to keep training hard and preparing for every fixture correctly, we cannot underestimate any team and we must be determined to win every game by any means''. The Cataduanes Seleccion looks set to return to the normal first eleven especially with the return of Armando Ribera from suspension, however Jorge de Haro faces a battle to be fit for the forthcoming match after straining a calf muscle during training.

Harlesburg

07-05-2006, 14:17

Harlesburg, Big Game Ahead!
Harlesburg vs Georgeonia

Harlesburg with the bye in round 3 of the second leg of matches found it wise to really get stuck in on the technical side of things

Harlesburg Coach Thomas Liebel...
"We have Gergeonia up next and although we beat the squids pretty good last time we played them this is no time to rest on our laurels we have played poorly to date with the odd glimmer of briliance, the Starblaydia game for example but we have had two loses to Praying2God and we really need to prove we should be in the top two and just scrape in but really prove it we have to drive it home and absolutly dominate all that come up against us.
How can we say we are the second best team in the pool when we can't beat Praying2God once?
We made a far better improvment in our second game against them but too many inconcistencies and errors have plagued us in other games."

Gerogeonia have only won two games drawn 1 and lost six comparred to Harlesburg's 3 wins and 1 draw and 4 losses and Georgeonia still has a bye up their sleves which would potentially knock them up above Harlesburg (if they win)depending on who wins the next game between the two.

Vuam and Isma is proving to be a surprise currently nestled at number 2 for qualifying look for them to fall back after their bye round but for Harlesburg it really becomes a case of winning a strong majority of their remaining games.

A Praying2God loss tomorrow and a Harlesburg win would leave both teams on 13 points one behined Vaum and Isma who have the bye.

Harlesburg have scored one more goal(10/9) than Praying2God but have allowed 9 more (14/5) which was really excentuated and set as a precedent by the first two matches of the campaign.
Group 3
Dauna Hills 1 Starblaydia 2
Georgeonia 1 Praying2God 0
Gaspland 1 Vuam and Isma 4

GROUP 3 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Starblaydia 8 7 0 1 14 4 10 21
Vuam and Isma 9 5 0 4 14 13 -1 14
Praying2God 8 4 1 3 9 5 4 13
Gaspland 9 3 2 4 16 15 1 11
Harlesburg 8 3 1 4 10 14 -4 10
Dauna Hills 9 2 3 4 12 16 -4 9
Georgeonia 9 2 1 6 6 17 -11 7

(OOC)If it/i makes less sense than normal it is 1:17am)

Swilatia

07-05-2006, 14:35

OOC: Sorry for being late with the RP for MD9 I had to take care of something else at the time when I usually post RPs. expect today's RP to come at the normal time.
http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/3532/sbc34jz.gif
We are Doomed
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/swilatia.jpg Swilatia 3 - 3 Lisburn Mateyshttp://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/jersey--67.jpg

So the matter with the theives guild got fixed, now we all know that Mitzi is not a death stick smuggler working for the theives guild.

Also, we did not get revenge on the mateys. However, the goodnews is that we did not goo through the humiliating experience of losing to a bad team again. In other words, it was a draw. and we almost won. the scores were 3-3.

About how the match itself went: the match was different from, other swilatia matches: the was a lot of action on both sides of the feild, in both halves of the game. The match started off with Lisburn mateys trying to score a goal on Swilatia, but they had no luck trying to do so, and Helena Mitzi knockede in the first Swilatia goal. Not that much later, he knocked in another goal for Swilatia. however, then the mateys suddenly had a sroke of luck, and the first Lisburn Mateys goal was scored. But thankfully we were still winning.

The second half was just as chaotic as the first. At the beginning of the half, Swilatia scored a third goal, knocking the Mateys further back. It looked like the mateys had no chance of Winning. However, that was not true. the Mateys, even though they were a defense centred team, realised that it they had not started actually attacking, they would have lost 7-1, so they started attecking, and got one goal past Jeffrey Roderic. and then another one. the game was tied then, but even though the mateys did not want to admit it in their news reports, we almost got a fourth goal at the end of the game. thats right, we almost won.

abnd we are still low

Tynelia

07-05-2006, 18:03

Deja vu For Tynelia

In a result that has become all to familiar for the Tynelian national squad, the team has lost thri fourth match in a row 1-0 to Geisenfried. And no that is meant as read. For the fourth straight match Tynelia has been on the short end of a 1-0 match, running their scoreless streak to four straight matches. Qualifying chances are remote as they go into their bye as they must now sweep the top three seeds in the group to even have an outside chance of getting in. Tynelian fans are once again calling for the head of Marcus O'Meara who is being referred to as the "Offense Killer" for the lack of offensive punch the team has shown under his guidance.

More or less accepting their non qualifying fate ,O'Meara mentioned after this last defeat that he will be playing many of the reserves for the rest of the group play to give them experience for WC 29. A promising start to the Cup has now officially gone down in flames after being swept by all three teams ranked below them in the group. Some vocal cynical fans are saying that the team should not even bother with the Cup of Harmony since they'll just be shut out the entire tournament there as well. Now all that's left for the team is to try and somehow manage to get back their seed in the final rankings.

Geisenfried

07-05-2006, 18:09

Konigseifert Chronicle

Geisenfried gets win at the Old Castle
First Home Victory comes at Dohmen, Golden Eagles Return to Sixth

In a stadium build on top of the remains of a destroyed fortress in Dohmen, Geisenfried, the Golden Eagles finally fulfilled one of manager Wilhelm Romm's promises by getting a victory at home. The Geisenfried national team defeated the Tynelian national team 1-0 yesterday, and combined with Krytenia's victory over Talmeria, the Golden Eagles have sprung back out of the cellar.

The game was pretty back and forth, but shots were rather rare, with most of the battle being in midfield. In the 25th minute, Tynelia made a deep drive towards the Golden Eagles goal, but defender Johann Klintzsch intercepted the cross from Brian Kenders and booted it up to Karl Genz at midfield. Genz made it past the defenders who were sitting up towards midfield in a offside trap. Having broken away from any Tynelian defenders, it was a simple shot past Amy Whiteworth to give Geisenfried a 1-0 lead at the 27th minute, much to the pleasure of the watching fans. After that, a strong defensive effort kept Tynelia's offense from doing anything, securing the much desired home victory.

Tynelia: 0
Geisenfried: 1
Genz- 27' (GSF)

The next match will be against the division leading Krytenia, at their home turf. Can Geisenfried use its change of luck and morale boost to upset the Aces? Or will any dreams of making a miraculous end run be quashed on the turf of Krytenia? We hope the former, but we're guessing the latter's going to happen.

Schedule
Geisenfried 1-0 Talmeria
Geisenfried 1-0 The Lowland Clans
Geisenfried 0-2 Tynelia
Krytenia 2-0 Geisenfried
Turori 2-0 Geisenfried
Geisenfried 1-1 Algal States
Bye
Talmeria 2-1 Geisenfried
The Lowland Clans 1-0 Geisenfried
Tynelia 0-1 Geisenfried
Geisenfried at Krytenia
Geisenfried at Turori
Algal States at Geisenfried
Bye

GROUP 15 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Krytenia 8 5 2 1 12 5 7 17
Turori 8 5 1 2 13 8 5 16
Lowland Clans 8 4 1 3 9 9 0 13
Algal States 9 2 4 3 6 7 -1 10
Tynelia 9 3 1 5 5 7 -2 10
Geisenfried 9 3 1 5 5 10 -5 10
Talmeria 9 2 2 5 4 8 -4 8

Mr Chuck Norris

07-05-2006, 22:28

Chuck Norris News
For All Of Your Fighting Norris Coverage

Ouch... ouch and ouch again. The most recent match of the Fighting Norris couldn't have possibly hurt anymore than it did.

Mr Chuck Norris 1 (John Fedo 24)
Bettia 3 (Judson York 8, 16, 40)

That's right all of you viewers, Bettia, the team that the Fighting Norris dispatched 3-1 at Bettia a couple of weeks ago, defeated our beloved team at home only seconds ago. Although we're not sure how that makes sense we can confirm that there is a darn good reason.

Matches between two overly-offensive teams like Bettia and the Fighting Norris are bound to have a constant attack from either side. The first half displayed this ridiculous battle of the offenses. Unfortunately, by the twentieth minute, the ever-so-deadly Judson York of Bettia had already struck twice while the Fighting Norris offense remained silent. However, a little Chuck Norris always helps a sleeping offense.

As the 20th minute passed, Chuck Norris finally found himself on the attack with his four fellow forwards at his side. On defender after the next fell to his awesome skill, but the entire crowd of La Estadia De Norris went silent suddenly in the 23rd minute. Geraint Carew, an experienced defender on Bettia's squad, had just took his cleats to Chuck's prized right leg, sending him to the floor. Much to the crowds dismay, Geraint Carew was only penalized with a yellow card and was not removed from the game after what appeared to be a flagrant and intentional downing of the Fighting Norris' star player, who had scored a hat trick on Bettia earlier in the tourney. Cries could be heard from the crowd as Chuck was helped off the field and it was announced that he would not return to the match.

However, the penalty did leave possesion of the ball on the Fighting Norris' side and awfully near Bettia's goal. This allowed John Fedo to notch the Fighting Norris' one and only goal of the match. By the 25th minute, Bettia was up 2-1 and the Fighting Norris were without their heart and soul in the form of Chuck Norris.

Judson York found himself with a hat trick in the 40th minute after the Fighting Norris defense began to buckle under the immense pressure of the Bettia offense. All hope was lost when at halftime the score shoed 3-1 in Bettia's favor.

Wisely, Bettia instantly took a defensive roll against the Fighting Norris offense in the second half. As the offensive onslaught of the Fighting Norris continued for the entire duration of the second half, no progress was made. Without Chuck Norris, the offense was a wasteland and proved to be incapable of scoring a goal. Time expired, the crowd sighed and filed out in an orderly fashion, the Fighting Norris had not only lost thier second straight match, but had lost their hopes, dreams, and aspirations as they no longer had Chuck Norris.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ouch is the only word I can really say. The only bright side to all of this is that we have our bye coming up which will give Chuck some time to heal up and get back to the field for the final two matches of this tourney. However, this means that he will not be playing in the Cuation match, which is so vital to our survival in this tourney. Do you think I'm kidding? Let's see some group analysis to prove my point.

GROUP 4 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Squornshelous 8 6 2 0 18 6 12 20
Cuation 8 4 3 1 18 11 7 15
Bettia 8 4 2 2 18 16 2 14
Mr Chuck Norris 9 4 1 4 17 18 -1 13
5 Civ. Nations 9 3 3 3 17 18 -1 11
Burning Pengs 9 2 1 6 9 20 -11 7
Slakaj 9 1 0 8 7 16 -9 3

That pretty much sums up the current standings, but what does it mean for us? Next week, Squornshelous and Bettia have easy wins with matches against Slakaj and Burning Penguins, repectively. This puts Squornshelous with 23 points and Bettia with 17. The deciding factor for us is our match at home against Cuation. Should we win this match, we will move up to third place with 16 points, just one point behind Bettia and one ahead of Cuation (who would have 15). However, a loss would award Cuation with 3 more points, giving them 18 total and would leave us in fourth with 13. Translation: A loss would hurt our chances dramatically and would kill the spirit of our team. We need this win more than ever and without old Chuck to help us, I don't know what we're going to do yet. However, this is a home match, so I expect to see La Estadia De Norris packed with Fighting Norris fans come matchday 11. Until then, wish us luck, we're gonna need it."

World Cup 28 Schedule of the Fighting Norris:
Matchday 1: Vs. Five Civilized Nations (Won 4-2)
Matchday 2: Vs. Squornshelous (Loss 0-2)
Matchday 3: At Bettia (Won 3-1)
Matchday 4: At Cuation (Loss 1-3)
Matchday 5: On Bye
Matchday 6: Vs. Slakaj (Won 1-0)
Matchday 7: Vs. Burning Penguins (Draw 2-2)
Matchday 8: At Five Civilized Nations (Won 4-1)
Matchday 9: At Squornshelous (Loss 1-4)
Matchday 10: Vs. Bettia (Loss 1-3)
Matchday 11: Vs. Cuation
Matchday 12: On Bye
Matchday 13: At Slajak
Matchday 14: At Burning Penguins

Fighting Norris World Cup 28 Record: (4-1-4)

Qazox

07-05-2006, 22:53

Qazox City Herald

REVENGE!!!

Once again, Reggie 'the Rock' Hassok is reporting for the Herald due to the quarentine on travel from Qazox due to the Oxian Flu epidemic.

"Wass'up Qazox? Its da Rock tellin' you how we won today!, I was wicked awesomw in net once again, getting another shut-out. I think we played those remotecontrols or sumthin. The great one, (ed note Maria Gretsky)Scored in like the 50th minute or so and we won 1-nuthin. The whole team is really coming together, and we are almost in Montreal!

Thanks to Reggie Hassok for that report. As Qazox heads into its bye date, the Black Oxen find themselves 4 points clear of the Islands of Qatar, who beat Anastasiania 2-0, and 5 points ahead of Legalese, who had a bye, for the final qualifaction spot. Our next game is @ Audioslavia, who were upset at Zorinia 1-0. they will be mad, so that's not a win for us. Our final 2 matches are against Legalese and the Islands of Qatar, hopefully we can win both games and qualify for the cup.

Standings after matchday 10: teams in Red are eliminated from qualifaction.
GROUP 5 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Audioslavia 8 7 0 1 18 4 14 21
Qazox 9 5 1 3 12 6 6 16
Isls of Qutar 8 3 3 2 7 6 1 12
Legalese 8 3 2 3 5 8 -3 11
Anastasiania 9 2 3 4 9 14 -5 9
Remote Islands 9 2 2 5 7 12 -5 8
Zorinia 9 2 1 5 8 13 -5 7

Raging Penguins

08-05-2006, 01:09

Memo From: John Rashtart, Head of the Dept. of Criminal Management
To: Ronald E. Perf, Head of the Dept. of Outragious Taxation and Financial Debt

Told you, didn't I?
Oh sure, The Team won, 3-0 apparantly, but they didn't qualify, did they? Your beer-money is safe.
Do you really think I got to the head of this department by not planning ahead, making ridiculous promises I have no intention of keeping and by hiring bufoons who can't follow orders? Well, you better damn well believe I did!
They lost almost every game they played, managed to draw two, and won two more. They had no chance of qualifying anyway, even if they'd won every single game, they'd have blown themselves up in excitment and wouldn't have lived to demand a pay raise.
Sheese, you Finance Misdirectors are so tense! Always scurrying about in outrage the moment the treasury is robbed of every last cent. I can't imagine how you achieved your position. Doubting my departments reliance on dumb luck? What foolishness! I expected more from you, really - Tisk, tisk!
Anyway, I didn't need to fire anybody, and I've arranged for our 'victorious' The Team to be caught in a dreadful "Napalm-Tragically-Dropped-from-the-Sky-by-a-Bomber" accident. That should ease your mind.

Sincerely,
John Rashtart,
Head of the Dept. of Criminal Management

Swilatia

08-05-2006, 01:26

http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/3532/sbc34jz.gif
We failed to win.
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/khenas.jpg Khenas 2 - 2 Swilatia http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/swilatia.jpg

Okay. Today was an away match with Khenas. We are glad the theives guild conspiracy is over, and the Swilatian National Football Team could cross the border easily. And not have players abducted before or during the match. Unfortunatley we did not win the match. We drawed, but that is almost as bad as losing now that we have to fight hard inorder to stay in the cup. Yes, we have to fight hard, or we will meet the same fate as we met in the last world cup.

The match was another chaotic high scoring draw. however not as high as yesterday's match. it was 2-2 today. and it was a lot like yesterday.

The khenas defense was fighting very hard in order to make sure that Khenas scores the first goal. however, all 3 Swilatian Strikers were working toghrether to hit a goal in, and they did. Then We scored a goal on Khenas again. And then, Khenas scored a goal. The rest of the first half was lots of Chaos, but no goals.

Then in the second half it was more chaos with no goals, until Khenas scored the last goal.

GROUP 11 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Sarzonia 8 6 2 0 18 5 13 20
Milchama 8 5 1 2 18 11 7 16
Lisburn Mateys 9 3 3 3 13 13 0 12
Giant Zucchini 8 3 2 3 10 9 1 11
Oglethorpia 9 3 2 4 12 14 -2 11
Swilatia 9 2 3 4 10 16 -6 9
Khenas 9 1 1 7 7 19 -12 4
now we are still in 6th. we need to hit a winning streak to qualify. but tommorow is Bye day and the rest of the opponents are very tough teams.

Audioslavia

08-05-2006, 02:42

"WHAT IS IT?!" Jeremy Jaffacake cried. Reels of paper flew off his desk.
"Its the team, Mr. Jaffacake" replied his secretary, as calmly as she could. She had been appalled at JJ's attitude this week.
"What about the team? Mrs Pearce? Can't you see i'm busy with this 10,000 word dissertation?!"
"Yes, yes i can see that." Mrs. Pearce answered. "Mr. Jaffacake, why did you leave it so late to do this dissertation?". Jeremy scowled.
"I thought it was meant to be on May the 28th, not May the 8th".
"Oh" replied Mrs. Pearce. "That was silly"
"That was an understatement" retorted Jeremy. "Anyway, its done now. Seven days of solid work on an essay that most people spent six months planning and one month writing. All i have to do now is an Irish Writing essay which is due in in... let me see... ten hours time"
"You're too busy to report on the team then?"
"Yes. What about them anyway?" Jeremy asked.
"Well..." Mrs Pearce replied, "They've qualified for the World Cup. Top of the group"
"Thats all well and good" Jeremy replied, "but can they write 1500 words on the post-Bloody Sunday literature of protestant Ireland?". It was the sort of question that made Mrs Pearce want to leave the room, so she did, and Jeremy got back to his essay.

The Archregimancy

08-05-2006, 02:47

Here be scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=10917044#post10917044)

(Matchday 11 ones, that is)

Congratulations to Starblaydia, Hockey Canada, Total n Utter Insanity, and Tadjikistan - the first teams to qualify for WC 28.

Squornshelous

08-05-2006, 06:09

Two Wins For the Pschychoes

Squornshelous rolls on down the home stretch
During the last two matchday's, Squornshelous scored five goals, and allowed none, a feat mostly attributed to the poor shooting of the slightly underskilled teams the Pschychoes faced, but still a commendable feat. In doing this, the Pschychoes have continued their surprisingly stingy defense well beyond what was expected. With just six goals allowed in nine matches, it is obvious that the Squornshelan defense, which looked sketchy prior to the start of qualification, with two unproven keepers and a potential weak spot starting in the center. It came as a pleasant surprise to Squornshelan fans that both Ronald Beeman (2 cups 28y/o) and Timothy Purcell (2 cups 26y/o have proven to be superb in net, and while young Joseph Kaizers (1 cup 26y/o) has had his share of troubles in defense, solid substitutes line the bench, and veteran players like Darryl Benitez (3 cups, 30y/o), Tito Guyaquil (2 cups, 27y/o) and Juan Velasquez (2 cups 26y/o) can be brought in to plug any holes that management can find. With the attack finally clicking like it should be, scoring 9 of their 22 goals in the past three matches, it looks like the Pschychoes are peaking at just the right time.

Final Scores:
Squornshelous 1-0 Burning Penguins
Squornshelous 4-0 Slakaj

Squornshelous' Scorers:
V. Petrov: 6
O. Petrov: 4
Xenakis: 4
Syvatov: 3
Harris: 2
Kamaka: 1
Khabarov: 1
Peterson: 1

And just to cash in on the creativity and invention of others:

You might be a Squornshelan football fan if:

...the only time you expect clean sheets is when you're watching a different match.

...you've never even heard the word "karela".

...you have a pathological hatred of Starblaydian jerseys.

...you’re surprised when opposing fans expect their backs to do something besides concede.

...you think all Audioslavians are unable to finish a sentence without the word bitch. (wait, that one's true isn't it?)

...you’ve got a game ball used to score by a Squornshelan player on display somewhere in your house (there's plenty to go around).

...you have fantasies about winning the world cup, and then you wake up.

Qazox

08-05-2006, 06:27

Qazox City Herald

With the Black Oxen having the day off, we (thankfully) do not have a Reggie's Report today. In Group 5 action today, Audioslavia beat theRemote Islands 2-0, Eliminating the Remote Islands, Qatar continued its strong 2nd half beating Zorinia 1-0 and Legalese beat and eliminated Anastasiania 2-1.

With 3 matches left, Qazox leads Qatar by 1 point and Legalese by 2. Audioslavia is 8 points ahead of us and only needs a draw to clinch a spot in the World Cup. These last 3 games will decide if the Black Oxen qualify, as all three matches argainst the higher ranked teams. with Qatar and Legalese each to still play Audioslavia, our matches vs. each other could decide the last World Cup spot from our group.

Standings as of Matchday 10: teams in RED are eliminated from qualification.
GROUP 5 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Audioslavia 9 8 0 1 20 4 16 24
Qazox 9 5 1 3 12 6 6 16
Isls of Qutar 9 4 3 2 8 6 2 15
Legalese 9 4 2 3 7 9 -2 14
Anastasiania 10 2 3 5 10 16 -6 9
Remote Islands 10 2 2 6 7 14 -7 8
Zorinia 10 2 1 6 8 14 -6 7
Our next game is at Audioslavia, who only needs 1 point in thier last 3 mathces to advance to the World Cup, so unfortunately for us, they will be aiming to clinch at home, and will be even more difficult to beat. Legalese will travel to Zorinia and Qatar will host the Remote Islands.

A Recent poll of Qazoxian football fans produced these answers (only the top votes getter is listed for each catergory)

You might be a Qazoxian football fan if:

...the only time you expect clean sheets is when your in jail for sneezing on a buffet table

...you think "karela" is some kind of exotic pastry.

...you have a pathological hatred of Milchama jerseys.(ya knocked us out of WC27...lol)

...you’re surprised when opposing fans expect to get beer at our stadiums.

...you think all Green Wombatians have the same looks and temperament as a squished gerbil.

...you have wild rutabegas in your yard and wonder why the oxen don't eat them.

...you have fantasies about sleeping with 3 naked women and you wake up and only find two.

Dorian and Sonya

08-05-2006, 06:52

Unicorns Eliminated - Rest of Group Still Silent

Queen Sonya Sabre was more than a little disappointed today. A poor qualification campaign hinged on the Unicorns ability to pull another upset over #44 Kaze Progressa. And the Unicorns would fall just short in that effort 0-1. Now the only thing left to do would be to find some decent help for the squad’s star, Altáriël Telperiën.

Telperiën has been the only consistent player for the Mystical Unicorns during the CoH, Draggonnii Inviyatii, and the WC28 qualifiers thus far. Neither keeper has performed at an acceptable level, The defense is literally a shambles, and the midfield is, at best, sporadic. That leads us to the majority of news we will report today.

GK Daniella Riskin will replace Alassea Culnámo. Riskin is 19 and ready for her chance to prove her abilities on the international stage. She will be starting at keeper the rest of the way.

M Brigette Deteso also will be replacing Nátulcien Arcamenel and will start as well at DM in place of Uruviel Telemnar.

The two new starters will be looking to make an immediate impact on the squad’s level of play. That shouldn’t be too hard considering the poor play all-around thus far.

Now for other action in Group 2
Liverpool England has regained their top form and downed Homieville 2-0. That move them to 19 points and the group’s top spot. #20 Vilita picked up only their 3rd win so far, 2-1 over Rosberg. That win keeps them even on the table with D&S (ahead on GD even though we drew once and beat them once).

The Mystical Unicorns now have a bye date for the two new starters to make ready to play at this level. Homieville and Rosberg are the two very quiet sides we play on the final two match days. If luck will shine for us, we can win both matches and move up the table. We only want this for pride as we have already been eliminated. CoH is where we will be playing next and we promise everyone we will not be looking for the Wooden Spoon this time.

Upset Watch
Group 3 - Georgeonia downed Harlesburg 1-0
Group 8 - Spaamanian Pli??? Downed Ariddia 1-0
Group14- Kirstiriera beat Nanakland 2-0

Just 5 draws today as well. Not a lot to report given the numbers on previous match days. We are completely confident all will return to its normal status on the next MD.

Alasdair I Frosticus

08-05-2006, 07:17

Alasdair I Frosticus 0 Hockey Canada 1
Alasdair I Frosticus 0 The Kazoo Peoples 1

Once again, the Holy Empire Football Association wishes to apologise to those residents of ordinary reality inconvenienced by the following dream.

"Basil!"

"Hel-lo The-o"

"Feeling better, are we?"

"Yes, The-o. I am much bet-ter thank you"

"No psychotic coprophiliac episodes today?"

"No, The-o"

"Gooood. Medication's clearly working.

"Yes, The-o"

"But not the sharpest stick in the woodcarving workshop anymore, are we, Bazza?"

"No, The-o"

"Not the most scintellating conversationalist, either, which leaves it up to me, I suppose, to sum up how the squad have done over the last couple of matches. Ermmmmm..... The Imperials lose one-nil to both Hockey Canada and the Kazoo Peoples, are eliminated ignominiously from the tournament, and frankly I wonder why we bothered this time around. It's all good and well to celebrate the tournament's return to the Dreamed Realm by re-entering the Holy Empire for only the second time since World Cup 7, but given the extent we've had our collective Tzimisces bottoms spanked by ordinary reality this time around.... well, if we want to make an impact again, we're going to have to enter this tournament regularly for a change. I for one will be petitioning HEFA to...."

"The-o, The-o.... look The-o..."

"Yesssss, Basil?"

"It is a mousy. It is cute. It wants to be my friend. I shall call him Buddy. Buddy the mouse. The cute mouse. Awwwwwww."

"And, for that matter, I think I'll be petioning someone else to have my co-host taken off his pills. I'd rather have him smearing sh*t on his chest again than put up with Buddy mouse love every day."

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

08-05-2006, 07:32

http://http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg

Sea Dragons Rising From The Depths

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from somewhere in Rorysville

The Sea Dragons once again had vengeance on their minds when they took the pitch. And once again they earned it. Rorysville had strolled into Stadii Se Draggonnii Arcea on MD4 and strolled back out with an impressive 3-1 upset win. ASMV returned the favor today by a 2-1 score at their home pitch.

Defense, defense, defense. That is what the Sea Dragons have always stressed. That is what earned them a qualification in WC27. That is they key to ASMV’s run here in the latter stages of WC28 qualifying.

Unami Banta-N’bai has continued to set the tone for a feared Sea Dragon back line. But his aging body has begun to show some signs that he is not the player he once was. Unami is almost 40 years old now. Early in this campaign that seemed to hurt the squad more than a bit. But 20 year old Genesis Galluccio has now adjusted to the level of play here, and is showing signs he is ready to take over at Center Back.

Also Jenni Ulrich has now become the starter Pao St Martinique had hoped she would after the retirement of MalachI James left a huge hole on the right side of the midfield. Those two adjustments have been made just in time for the Sea Dragons to make a hard charge for a qualification spot.

The action started slowly for ASMV today. Rorysville was determined to come away with another upset at our expense. But the defense buckled down and held them after their initial score while Evan Evans, Ulrich, Pablo Iglesias, and Porche Alexander kept the pressure on the upstarts and earned two goals for their efforts. (34,67)

The victory moved ASMV into sole possesion of 2nd place in the group, 2 points behind Jeruselem and 3 points clear of Bequerelia. But that could be just a momentary thing. Bequerelia has 15 points, Rorysville and Kericia have 14, Boudra-Boudra has 13. That means the Group 7 has many different scenarios for how it could turn out.

The Sea Dragons have now finished that massive 6 match road trip and will now hope that Home means more than it did in their first 3 matches. Philthealbino is the next opponent, and the Sea Dragons can not afford to overlook these guys. We need to win the next 2 before playing Jeruselem on the final day.

Friends Watch
Hypocria downed Narbithia 3-1
Dorian and Sonya lost another heartbreaker. This time 0-1 to KP
Cuation stopped Mr Chuck Norris 3-2
Ariddia lost to Spaamanian Piljous 0-1
Milchama dropped Lisburn Mateys 2-1
Tadjikistan crushed Northern Caesarea 3-0

Starblaydia

08-05-2006, 11:39

It's There!
Starblaydia First In

The giant that is Johan Keifner destroyed the Gaspland defence almost single-handed and bagged a himself hat-trick as Starblaydia made sure of their place in the World Cup Finals. Region-mates Hockey Canada, weirdos Total n Utter Insanity and rivals Tadjikistan also made sure they qualified today.

The man from Tabeck simply tore apart the Gaspland defence, who had no answer to his pace, power and presence. Those whining at the sight of him in the Number-Nine shirt when the initial Squad was announced eleven matches ago - preferring Maivia Von Erich, Janica Rocca or Ajaccio - have surely had their mouths well and truly shut.

Two goals in the first half and one in the second capped Keifner's best-ever display for his country; he now leads the team in scoring so far in this campaign. Though Dasha Tolkacheva bagged her sixth goal of the qualifiers - her thirty-eighth over all, just six short of the record - Keifner's treble puts him on seven goals for the campaign so far. Keifner, 23, now has nineteen goals to his name from only twenty-five appearances: That's Tolkacheva country (38 goals from 53 caps).

It seems that Dash has reset the bar for Starblaydi strikers; a goal every other game can now be considered a poor record. With Tolkacheva herself and now Keifner rocketing their way up the scoring charts (Tolkacheva is a solid third on the all-time list while Keifner is already into the top-ten) Starblaydia's immediate striking future seems to have no problems. The immediate future also requires a victory tomorrow as Starblaydia round off the home ties of their campaign against Vuam and Isma at the Iota "Big Eye" Arena in Penningworth. The 85,000-capacity stadium is sure to be packed to the rafters to see Starblaydia gain the win they need to ensure Group Winner status.

Final score from Victory Park:
Starblaydia 4 - 1 Gaspland
(Keifner 18, 32 & 59, Tolkacheva 72) - (#8, 63)

Ariddia

08-05-2006, 11:46

Winning streak broken by Spaamanians

The Rouge-et-Noirs travelled to Spaamanian Plijous hoping for another three points to add to their total, but instead walked away shaken after a nil-one loss to the Spaamanian side. Ariddia had made the overconfident mistake of wanting to rest some of their best players for the challenges ahead – notably against Elrich – and consequently were unable to score a goal. All it took for their opponents was one goal to snatch the lead. Brought in part-way through the match, even Frédéric Clément was unable to tip the balance.

“This is bad,” team captain Ue Alt said after the game, clearly annoyed. “We can’t afford to start losing matches. We’re still second, but Elrich are close behind us, and we have our most difficult games still to come.”

Ariddia’s hopeful mood has been shaken a little, and, assuming an inevitable loss against Rejistania, many Ariddians are pinning all their hopes on the game against Elrich.

Group 8 remains very much undecided.

Jeruselem

08-05-2006, 12:16

* Weird theme song *

A small girl wearing a Nedalian uniform stands

Rachel "Good morning, this is Rachel Goldstein for JGN at the World Cup 28. Oh, and why I am wearing a Lions uniform? To support them of course!"

<Some Jeruselem supports walk by happily>

Rachel "Today, Jeruselem walked all over the team called Phil the Albino to keep leadership of Group 7. It was a rather easy three nil and well, made other teams task much harder. The team weren't really challenged but they will be in the next three games. Today was just a holiday"

<Cheering>

"Andossa Se Mitrin Vega otherwise known as the Sea Dragons dealt Rorysville a blow to hurt. Yes, the well seeded Sea Dragons beat the Rory team two one. It was tough, and rough but the tough Dragons had the fire and fight to deal a pretender a hard blow"

<Cheering>

"Kericia wasted another chance. Boudra-Boudra were looking shaking and Kericia really should have won their game but again, did not. Boudra-Boudra held Kericia to a one all draw, and well, the draw didn't help both teams. One point is great, three points is Gold at this stage. Now 3rd placed Becquerelia, had the bye and didn't suffer. Jeruselem and Sea Dragons winning kept the pack at bay for them."

<Singing>

"Hockey Canada have qualified. Yes, it's uber-official. They are leading their group by so far, but the Canucks have made the next round. We'll be flying the Canuck flag - when they take centre stage in the 2nd round even if they play us."

<Singing>

"Lions, Lions! They didn't win, but a mere draw with Emperor Pudu. This was enough to keep them 2nd but Chicanada's big win put them one point behind the Lions. Three games left but these two teams will fight it out, to the last second unless the Lions fold. Oh yes, the insane team qualified but that's not news - it's expected"

<Cheering>

"Looking at the table, for Group 7. Jeruselem lead on 20 points while the Sea Dragons follow on an impressive 18. Becquerelia had their bye and are 3rd on 15 points, so no more suffering for them unless at the hands of other teams. Now, we have three teams two wins or more behind Jeruselem! Rorysville, Kericia and Boudra-Boudra are in trouble. Jeruselem are two wins ahead, and well - they have to win all their games! Saying that, it's not terribly likely the two top will lose all games either"

"3 games left, two top seeds looking good. It's up to the others to liven up and take on the challenge of stealing their prizes. Lower teams, have byes and will they hurt now! Boudra-Boudra are the least likely with 5 losses."

Tynelia

08-05-2006, 12:22

Tynelia Hopes To Rebound

With a much needed bye after four straight 1-0 defeats, Tynelia now prepares to keeping their hanging by a thread qualifying chances alie against top seeded Krytenia. According to the latest gambling sources over 51% of Tynelians have placed money on a 1-0 Krytenia win. A distance second was 3-0 Krytenia at 15% and 2-0 Krytenia with 13% of the action. The top Tynelian victory score was 1-0 by a mere 5% of the gamblers involved. A loss or draw eliminates Tynelia.

They hope to stop their freefall to the cellar with a few changes, Vladimar Malloy will get his first start of this Cup. At forward Troy Wallace will take Brian Kenders starting slot, while Donna kent and Andy Martins will be starting in place of Brad Collins and Jeff Leason. Finally Bonnie Davis will take Tal Li's starting spot on defense. A major cshakeup but one most consider to be too little too late.

Another note of interest, Coach Marcus O'Meara brought out the old scarecrow goal keeper dummy in the hopes of getting the team to actually put the ball in net. Unfortunately for his plans, the scarecrow shut down every attempt, at times a strong wind blowing it over to the ground just in time to stop a rolling shot that would have gone in otherwise. After managing to hit both posts, the crossbar and the scarecrow without the ball going in net an insensed Brad Collins turned and blasted the ball across the field. By the time the ball came to a stop it just barely corssed the goal line of the net on the other side of the field. Coach O'Meara ended the practice after that with the Scarecrow putting up a 1-0 win thanks to Collins' temper tantrum.

Some consider this a bad sign going into play against the three top seeds. Other are more cynically optimistic claiming that since Tynelia's proven they can't score or beat any of the teams ranked below them that they will obviously sweep the next three games against teams that they would normally be lucky to get a draw with.

Giant Zucchini

08-05-2006, 13:47

Dear diary,

FINALLY we're playing the way we're meant to be playing. And FINALLY Rilke scored. I just hope we can keep up this momentum against Lisburn Mateys, and maybe that can set up a good match against Sarzonia, and hopefully by then we're still in the running for qualification. We're still in it...by the skin of our teeth...but we'll need some results to go our way...but if we win the rest of the matches we should be winning, I'll still be happy with our qualifying, whether we qualify or not. At least it should set up next season's qualifying nicely. But first we still need to prepare for our next match...

By the way, I found this in the paper this morning...

You Might Be a Giant Zucchini Football Fan

If you think that "no one plays football better than sentient vegetables"...

If you actually believe in sentient vegetables...

If you know who is Machterstrassefurtermorganachttunggutsprechenvolkshvargenshtickshnoff...

If you can actually spot the spelling mistake...

If you still wave miniscule zucchinis at Alasdair I Frosticus people...

If you think 'karela' is "quite a revolutionary new tactic"...

and last but not least...

If you’ve got an OGRZ soft toy that was handed down from your great grandparents on display in a climate/humidity/sunlight controlled chamber somewhere in your house...

...you might be a Giant Zucchini football fan.

Vuam and Isma

08-05-2006, 14:02

[OOC : BAC time means not enough time to RP... DAMN DAMN DAMN!! This is the post that should bring me up to date... so it will be damn long.]

Gazetta de'Esporte

Group 3, and we'll need a miracle.

Today, in New Montreal States, the groups for the qualifying round of WC28 were drawn.

Vuam and Isma were picked during the fourth round, ending up 48th drawn overall, not bad at all for the Whites and Azures, who are currently ranked 75th in the KPB rankings.

Vuam and Isma are pitted along to the #3 seed, Starblaydia, but also Praying2God and Harlesburg as potential qualification candidates.

Starblaydia
KPB #3
Starblaydia are one of the most regular sides, and it'll be no surprises to loose twice to them. However, should they lack confidence, an upset could happen. But we'll have to be realistic and just hope we don't see a repeat of V&I's 5-0 thrashing by Sarzonia twice...

Praying2God
KPB #27
Praying2God will meet V&I for the first time during this qualifying round. However, P2G has a very good record against lower ranked sides, and V&I faithfulls should not expect much more than two losses against one of the most promising sides on the football scene.

Harlesburg
KPB #57
Harlesburg is only marginally older than V&I, but for new sides like V&I, lack of experience could be a determinating factor. Harlesburg will be hot to get into the top two spots that would take them through to the WC28, and V&I should only expect to draw them in V&I, and have to concede a loss in Harlesburg.

Georgeonia
KPB #89
Ranked just beside V&I, Georgonia are what we could call a pretty conservative side, who are backing their trip to WC28 on a strong back 5. V&I know that having only 1 man up front could turn matches against Georgonia into midfield muddles, but we think that V&I has that little thing to edge Georgonia off in V&I, and also bring a point back from Georgonia.

Dauna Hills
KPB #148
Since their participation in WC25's qualifiers, Dauna Hills have not really done much on the footballing scene. However, we can expect their new team to be ready to better their olders, and show them that Dauna Hills has a true future in football. But all these are just words, and we think that V&I won't have any trouble grabbing all 6 points that are in play.

Gaspland
KPB #205
Gaspland were hoping to make an impression when they signed up for WC28 and BoF15... However, after a horror-ridden BoF, their morale is at the lowest it has ever been. V&I should be able to rest some players and still bring back all 6 points.

Matchday schedule (Gazetta de'Esporte's preview results in italics) :
MD 01: Georgeonia v Vuam and Isma 1-1
MD 02: Dauna Hills v Vuam and Isma 0-2
MD 03: Vuam and Isma v Gaspland 3-0
MD 04: Vuam and Isma bye
MD 05: Vuam and Isma v Starblaydia 0-3
MD 06: Vuam and Isma v Praying2God 0-1
MD 07: Harlesburg v Vuam and Isma 1-1
MD 08: Vuam and Isma v Georgeonia 2-0
MD 09: Vuam and Isma v Dauna Hills 2-0
MD 10: Gaspland v Vuam and Isma 0-4
MD 11: Vuam and Isma bye
MD 12: Starblaydia v Vuam and Isma 4-1
MD 13: Praying2God v Vuam and Isma 2-1
MD 14: Vuam and Isma v Harlesburg 2-2

Group preview :

1 - Starblaydia
2 - Praying2God
3 - Harlesburg
4 - Vuam and Isma
5 - Georgonia
6 - Gaspland
7 - Dauna Hills

Gazetta de'Esporte

Stronger when stung!
Georgonia - 1 (Ray 70)
Vuam and Isma - 2 (O'Beirne 78, Yak pen90+2)

Georgonia met V&I for the first time in both side's history, and as we predicted, Georgonia's 5-3-2 was ruthless in preventing Fitzsimons to latch onto the ball. Vuam and Isma's travel tire was obvious as Georgonia took almost complete control of their half, and it's thanks to great efficiency from V&I's back 4 that there were no goals during the first half.

Georgonia are predicted by some (Praying2God) to be the surprise of the group, and remain V&I's main competitor for 4th place. So, Scarab and Fischmann played a risky but ultimately efficient card, changing the 4-5-1 into a 4-4-2, as Lidon stayed in the tunnel and Robert O'Beirne lined up next to Fitzsimons.

However, Vuam and Isma's lack of realism was harshly punished by Georgonia, who continued to dominate ball posession, cutting out crosses and deep balls with a now-confident back five who proceeded to erase O'Beirne and Fitzsimons from the flow of play.

Tarquin Ray celebrated his 11th cap with an astonishing goal. Intercepting a soft pass by Yak, he ripped open V&I's defence, turning past S'Baa and Brasiviev, and surging into the box to wrong-foot O'Connor. With this goal, it looked like V&I were buried. Only thirty minutes left, one goal down, and most people feeling like Georgonia were in complete control of the ball.

However, Vuam and Isma are one side that should never be considered buried before their time, as they responded to Ray's goal by upping their play, most noticably Grak, who changed from a quite boring player into a real eel for the last half-hour. Grak would prove to be the man that changed it all. He recieved an innocuous-seeming ball from Marc, and managed to turn it into a great opportunity, as he nutmegged his man, and surged into the Georgonian half. Unchallenged, ce carried the ball down the wing, before cutting in towards the box, facing Owino. Slowing down, he provoked the defender, and managed to slip a ball across the face of the net towards Fitzsimons. Unluckily, the goalkeeper had well anticipated the pass, and dived out to punch the ball out of the box. Sadly for him, and to our common glee, the ball flew straight to O'Beirne who controlled the ball and then coolly chipped the ball over Nedrick who wasn't even properly up.

However, as Georgonia attempted to change players around to bring back some of the domination they had enjoyed previously, V&I continued to push forth, and spent almost all their time playing in Georgonia's half. But even with Grak's crosses, Dinamyque's through-balls and O'Beirne and Fitzsimons' enthusiasm, the score remained blocked at 1-1.

As the 90th minute came close, the fourth official announced 4 minutes. And we were all expecting to have to bemoan the ineffective first half, compared to the last 30 minutes. And then it all happened. A short O'Driscoll corner that had been won by Grak was played to Yak, who was in turn met by an over-enthusiastic Ryan, who's rash tackle missed the ball as Yak immediately passed the ball back to O'Driscoll. In his enthusiasm, Ryan caught Yak, and sent him down, clearly in the box. As the referee blew his whistle for a foul, and pointed to the penalty spot, Georgonia players fell to the ground, and V&I players jumped with elation. Yak got up, and placed the ball amidst the jeers of Georgonia fans. The shot was low and to the right, fooling Nedrick who dived the opposite way.

Gazetta de'Esporte

What the football?
Dauna Hills - 4 (#6, 14, #9 32, 65, #8 pen78)
Vuam and Isma - 0

After a tight opening match win over Georgonia, V&I traveled to Dauna Hills with the hope of leapfrogging into a commanding place in the group. But all that's history now...

The match was one of rued chances and counter-attacks, punctuated with injuries and red cards.

V&I had a nightmare start, as after only 11 minutes, O'Connor came out to smother a ball carried by the Dauna Hills #6, and recieved for his efforts an elbow concussion, and to add insult to injury, the ball that O'Connor dropped as he clutched his elbow was poked into the goal by #6. The referee refused to invalidate the goal, and V&I were 1-0 down, and lacking their master goalkeeper.

V&I's fragility was even more obvious as Duna Hills relied on counter-attacks to preserve their advance, and still remain a threat. In the 32nd minute, a fast counter-attack exposed a flaw in S'Baa's marking, as he left #9 far too much space, and dispite #9's inability to score, the ball that Ivers had blocked came hard at S'Baa, and bounced back into #9's path, leaving his an empty goal to double the score.

After the break, Marc didn't come out of the tunnel, and after the match it was announced that he had recieved a minor injury and had been unable to play the second half. Niederberger took his place, but it was obvious that the young player's inexperience was costy, as he mis-judged a back-pass, and allowed Dauna Hill's #11 an one on one situation with Wayne Ivers. Ivers rushed forwards, and guessing that he would be lobbed, jumped high, managing to paw the ball away from the goal. However, the referee judged that when he touched the ball he was outside the box, and red-carded Ivers in an extremely controversial move. As Vuam and Isma had replaced Dinamyque with DiBrandi only minutes earlier, Fitzsimons took up the gloves and donned a new role : goalkeeper. He will be remembered as the goalkeeper who had the shortest invincibility ever for V&I, as Dauna Hills' #9 smashed the free-kick straight into the net, with a low shot that went under the wall.

Without Fitzsimons, and lacking a real goalkeeper, V&I's morale slumped, and the players abandoned all idea of offensive play, settling into a 6-3-0 formation. Even with 6 men at the back, V&I seemed fragile, conceding many corners and free-kicks, and Fitzsimons showed some nice ability with the gloves, picking out crosses nicely, and taking good charge of this back 6...

But V&I were doomed to concede one more, as #11 fell on the edge of the box on a weak challenge by Brasiviev. After a short hesitiation, the referee plunged V&I into a terrible state, pointing towards the penalty spot. In the tusle that ensued, DiBrandi, Yak and Lidon recieved yellow cards. Dauna Hills chose #7 to take the spot-kick. He set up the ball, and took a quick 5-step run at the ball, aiming low and left. Incredibly, Fitzsimons had guessed correctly, and his unorthodox dive resulted in him wrapping his whole body around the ball. However, before he even got to his feet, the referee had blown his whistle again, and ordered the penalty to be re-taken, and he yellow-carded Grak for entering the penalty box before the kick had been taken. As #8 replaced #7 to take the kick, Fitzsimons made a short prayer. However, his prayer was only half-heard, as dispite diving the right way, the ball eluded his grasp.

Luckily for V&I, the referee had by that point ran out of paper in his notebook and lost his red card, and couldn't reduce V&I any more. However, V&I's 6-3-0 was just as shaky, but didn't concede any more goals as Dauna Hills evidently lowered the pressure.

Gazetta de'Esporte

Absentees enough to lose.
Vuam and Isma - 1 (Fitzsimons 57)
Gaspland - 2 (#5 32, #14 86)

With only one goalkeeper amongst the 16, no real left-back and morale at an all-time low, perhaps the result isn't that surprising...

After the disaster trip to Dauna Hills, V&I hoped to have more luck on home soil as they took on group weaklings Gaspland. However, the underdogs were enough to cause problems for V&I, as they exploited V&I's offensive weakness, stopping many V&I attacks. Even though they attacked very little, V&I's goalkeeping hit a new low, conceding 2 goals off 6 shots. Offensively, V&I were also very weak, as Fitzsimons scored the only white and azure goal out of 13 shots.

As injuries and a mad referee had cruelly diminished V&I, Palev Kerisnek and Dermov Ichtaa will be dissapointed that they weren't given a better chance to shine on their debuts, and both showed promise and fragility throuout the match.

Gaspland opened the score with a nicely built-up move, using all their midfield to create space for a well-thought run by #5 to overlap on the wing, and his closed-angle shot sped though Kerisnek's hands to put Gaspland ahead.

After the break, Fitzsimons pulled V&I back as he volleyed in a high pass by Lidon, but his effort would not be enough to even keep a single point, as only minutes from the final whistle Gaspland found a new hero in their sub #14, who scored dispite having only been on the pitch for 9 minutes. He barely got his head to a corner by #9, but it was enough to curl the ball inside the post, and send Gaspland's fans into raptures.

As V&I have a bye for the next matchday, it's probable that they will have moved to the back of the group, putting qualification dreams back into their little dream boxes...

Gazetta de'Esporte

Almost!
Vuam and Isma - 0
Starblaydia - 1 (Tolkacheva 45+2)

As V&I's players came back after a bye, and for some players a two-day bye, they were fresh, and ready to attack Starblaydia.

Starblaydia are without question the top dog of group 3, so when they took their tickets for Vuam and Isma, they knew that V&I would be fielding their best team availible, and that they wouldn't be ready to be crushed.

But to hold Starblaydia down to a draw would have been an almost impossible feat.

Starblaydia's slight 4-4-2 diamond formation was outcrowded in midfield by V&I's 4-5-1, but they had equal ball posession thanks to their vastly superior ball technique. Chavez and Noble managed to outfox Marc and Regragui, but remained unable to land any decet balls for the strikers, thanks to Colm and Roman's outstanding matches, as they were leaders of the pack cross after cross. Vuam and Isma came close to opening the score when O'Driscoll headed a cross by Grak just over the crossbar. The minutes went past, and the score remained deadlocked, dispite very nice attempts by both sides, most notably Rage's strong effort from outside the box that hammered the post before S'Baa punted it down the wing.

However, whilst most players were getting ready for the half-time pep talk, the coaches were racking their minds with how to outfox their opponents and the magical oranges were being cut, the only goal of the game was scored. Rakkinen played a free-kick that was only a few yards into V&I's half towards Blanc. Blanc headed the ball over Regragui, and his long ball was met by Tolkacheva, who smashed the ball between O'Connor's legs.

After the break however, it was as though the goal hadn't been scored, and both teams showed some amazing skill on the ball, even though it was the Starblaydian players' tricks that had the whole stadium up on their feet. Keifner came close to doubling the mark as his mazy run left Grak wondering where the ball was, Yak wondering how he evaded his tackle, Regragui wondering why he was sitting on the pitch, and Brasiviev wondering if he should even attempt to stop him. Luckily for V&I, Colm didn't wonder at all, and smothered the ball at his feet to keep the scoreline at 1-0. Blanc's tricks and hard tackling made V&I's progession into Starblaydia hard, and both teams had to settle for a 1-0 win for Starblaydia.

A very encouraging match for V&I, who prove that they aren't too far behind the top lot, even if they still have to prove that they can be much more regular than currently...

Gazetta de'Esporte

Uninspired and goalless.
Vuam and Isma - 0
Praying2God - 1 (To Be Determined 34)

After the sour yet encouraging match against Starblaydia, V&I face the second hardest team in the group : Praying2God.

P2G as they are known, Praying2God are a team that have hard hopes for qualification, and who came to V&I with only one idea : bring back 3 points.

The Whites and Azures proved to be quite underneath the level they had shown against Starblaydia, seeming a lot slower and far less technical.

P2G relied on their well-known concept : Kill and freeze. And for once, it worked. Against an uninspired V&I side, the Warriors didn't have to wait long to get the goal they wanted, as a corner after 34 minutes ended up in the net. It's very unclear who scored the goal, and the P2G federation will determine who the goal is accorded to. To make a complex story simpler, the ball was met by the head of 3 P2G players, and just as it crossed the line, 2 other P2G players got their feet to the ball. But the question is : Who touched the ball last? Even the players don't know, and frankly, we at the Gazetta de'Esporte don't care.

Vuam and Isma then fell against a very solid defensive barrier, and the closest V&I came to breaking the dam was when Dynamique cracked a terriffic shot from the edge of the box against the base of Sarah Larson's post.

Again, V&I have to settle for a sour 1-0 defeat. However, perhaps we should be relieved that it was no surprise, and that V&I's bad position is due to two bad results against far lower teams...

Gazetta de'Esporte

Back into business...
Harlesburg - 0
Vuam and Isma - 2 (Brasiviev 27, Fitzsimons 42)

With V&I sitting at the bottom of the table, and qualification seeming more and more impossible, V&I wanted to get the halfway stage with a win over Harlesburg, ranked just a litte above us.

Harlesburg had been surprised, just as we were, by Dauna Hill and Gaspland's performances, and expected a win to kick-start their fight-back. But V&I had other plans in mind, and when attack fails, then defence delivers...

Indeed, Vuam and Isma took a good start to the match, even thought they were very weak in midfield thanks to an extremely solid defence. Only minutes from the start, V&I's back 4 were already put to the test as Sloan attempted to give the home side an early lead off a low shot from the edge of the box. Colm was beaten, but Regragui had anticipated the shot very well, and stopped the ball on the line with his body.

And as V&I's defense seemed more and more solid during the opening stages, Harlesburg's strikers found themselves more and more isolated, and Harlesburg's back 3 were more and more streched as they attempted to stop Grak, O'Drscoll, Lidon and Fitzsimons.

After 4 losses, 8 goals conceded and only 1 goal scored, V&I were hoping to finally get back on the winning track. And who would bring back the goals? The defence. Marc took the ball down the wing as he played the overlap with Yak. As he ploughed to the by-line, he was met by Callusk. Fainting to move out towards the wing, he cut in and launched a loping cross. Fitzsimons lost the aerial battle with Montmorry, but the Harlesburg goalkeeper couldn't catch the ball, and his fumbled ball was met by an unsuspected Brasiviev at the second post, who added to his personal tally with a clean instep shot.

And with a more solid defence, it was the whole team that was more inspired, as V&I suddenly found some good rythm and speed. Fitzsimons came deep to fetch the ball off Yak, and entered the box thanks to a one-two with Dynamique. Whilst the Harlesburg defenders shouted for offside, Fitzsimons calmly netted the ball. To Harlesburg's dissapointment, the linesman didn't rise his flag, and Fitzsimons' goal stood firm.

After half-time, Dynamique and Lidon didn't come out to play the second half, and wree replaced by Searle and Clay. Even though Dynamique and Lidon had been solid, their relative bad fitness meant they couldn't continue the match. However, Searle and Clay made such impressive shows that it's anybodys bet if they are fielded for the next match. Searle found Clay with a long ball, and Clay served Fitzsimons an awkward ball that the young striker didn't manage to convert, hitting the post after 72 minutes.

As the minutes ticked by, V&I relished the prospect of breaking their 4-match loss streak, and when the final whistle was blown, V&I had secured their 6th point... all 6 taken on the road. Perhaps we should ask to play on the road instead of at home...

Gazetta de'Esporte

To the wire!
Vuam and Isma - 1 (Lidon 26)
Georgeonia - 0

For the first match of the 'return' period, V&I were hoping to continue their winning streak, and put their bad first half of the tournament behind them. Georgeonia wouldn't be an easy task though, as they were sitting far below the spot they were projected to be in, and would be wanting revenge on V&I's 2-1 last-minute win in Georgeonia.

But it would be hard for Georgonia to wrestle past a V&I team that had been on good form since their bye, almost holding the top two teams to draws, and easing past the team that was projected third in the group. Georgonia had however also been on a good run, earning their first 4 points against two sides that thrashed V&I...

But an interesting game on paper turned into a rather dull affair as both sides seemed to be playing with more interest in not conceding rather than in scoring. Dispite the low midfields and full defences, V&I continued their good form, thanks to a delightful inspiration by Lidon. As V&I kept the ball moving in midfield, looking for a flaw in the Georgonian defence, Lidon recieved the ball slightly to the right of the goal, a good 10 yards outside the box. He spotted Niedrick too far off his line, and without a second of hesitation, he chipped a floating ball towards the goal. As Nedrick backpeadaled, he realised he wouldn't be able to get there quick enough, and span 'round to watch Fagan dive to stop the ball, but the ball bobbled over his outstreched legs and into the back of the net.

Both sides of the break, V&I came close to doubling the marc, as Dynamique's corling shot missed the goal, and O'Beirne's header was blocked on the line by Ryan. However, to be fair, it was Georgonia who had the best chances in the second half. In the 74th minute, Benge fed a ball through a gap in W&I's defence, and found Camplin. However, after beating the goalkeeper, Camplin horrified the visitors as he blasted his shot well over the completely open goal. And Georgonia would come even closer to levelling the score when in a last-ditch effort in the 86th minute, Nedrick sped up the whole field to take a free-kick for Georgonia that was about 15 yards into V&I's half. He took a cracking blast, and his cross/pass/shot was met by Camplin's head, but smashed into the underside of the crossbar and bounced clear of the V&I goal, with Regragui fastest to react blasting the ball downpitch for a throw-in for Georgonia.

V&I now must concentrate on getting revenge on Dauna Hills after the 4-0 thrashing that their 12 men inflicted on us...

Gazetta de'Esporte

45 minutes of madness!
Vuam and Isma - 4 (O'Driscoll 49, Fitzsimons 79, Masilela 84, 87)
Dauna Hills - 3 (#6 25, #10 34, #7 42)

After the terrible refereeing in Dauna Hills on Matchday 2, V&I were expecting to have a more "ususal" match : a neat win over a side that is a good way further down the rankings than V&I.

And as usual, V&I did it the hard way, with sloppy defence for the first half, and seeming insipid and useless. #6 coasted all the way past 4 players to drill a shot under O'Connor, and his goal was just the beginning, as #10 got his head to the end of a cross by #9 to douple the penalty for V&I's lacklustre defending. And when #7 claimed a tap-in off a defensive mix-up, it looked like the game was over, and that V&I would suffer more at home than on the road against Dauna Hills.

7 goals against in 135 minutes, 0 goals for, and yet V&I were supposed to be the stronger side. Scarab was furious, and his half-time antics that he's famous for put some bite into V&I's second half performance. A little? No way. Tons.

V&I's second half performance was simply superb. As they came out of the tunnel, the players were visibly more into the match, and O'Driscoll let a glimmer of light shine only 4 minutes after the break as he dribbled past 2 defenders and sunk his shot between the goalie's legs.

However, even though V&I were fired up by O'Driscoll's goal, they didn't manage to find the back of the net, and their inaccuracy was appalling, as Dynamique and Lidon fired balls all over the place, but not on target.

And yet, salvation came late, asjust before the 80th minute, Fitzsimons reduced the deficit, with a cracking long-distance header from a Grak free-kick that nestled just inside the post. In a desperate attempt to save honour and bring back at least 1 point from the two games against Dauna Hills, Fischmann made a tricky move, subbing Brasiviev to add Masilela to the striking force. And what a move it turned out to be.

Masilela's speed turned out to be the crucial factor, as he netted twice in the 10 minutes he played. In the 84th minute, Fitzsimons got his foot to a long pass by Yak. The ball bobbled in front of the goal, and Masilela was the first man there, prodding the ball out of the keeper's reach to level the score. And 3 minutes later, V&I surged forwards to earn a corner. O'Driscoll hit a hard inswinging corner. Fitzsimons got his head to it, and powered the ball down towards the second post. Masilela was lurking at the second post, and his quick reflexes allowed him to smash the ball into the back of the net, making the scoreline 4-3 for V&I.

Northern Caesarea

08-05-2006, 14:16

Tadjikistan: 3 Northern Caesarea: 0

1. Cuéllar ****

2. Ferrer ****
21. Perea **
5. Calvo 0 => 15. Molinero (m.54)
3. Sergi *

13. Caminero 0
14. Vizcaíno **
16. Movilla *
6. Colsa ** => 8. Ibagaza (m.59)

7. Narváez ** => 9. Torres (m.59)
17. Maragall ***

Booked:
Yellow: Narváez, Movilla
Red: Maragall

Northern Caesarea hopes in WC28 finished bitterly, with a 3-0 defeat against Tadjikistan, the group's leading time.

The match begun very well for the Tricolores, because of the initial confusion of the tadjik team, but, in minute 24, a disastrous Caminero had his ball stolen by Tarik, who dribbled Calvo and scored the first goal for the locals.

This wrecked the team's morale. The tricolores forgot they joyful and technical game and started to act in a fearful, violent and defensive way. Nerves were at the top when NC striker Maragall punched Tadjik defender Ali in the head, after this player tackled him strongly. He was inmediately expelled from the pitch.

Antequera reorganized the team and bet all his offensive cards on Torres. But it didn't have any effect on the match, as Tadjikistan used its numerical superiority to execute the Tricolores on minutes 79 and 87.

Tadjikistan

08-05-2006, 14:19

Qualified!!!

Dushanbe - while they had a slow start and some problems in their first matches, the Tadjik Tigers are now leading their group as one of only four teams that have already qualified for the World Cup.

The unranked Northern Ceasarean squad came to Dushanbe with the hopes of gaining another point or more, as they knew they still had a small chance of qualifying. But against a Tadjik squad that has improved considerably since Matchday four, they could never pull that stunt again.
Alexander Zaev was already impressed by this new team :'They've played some good matches and they are clearly stronger than you'd expect, but very few teams succeed in qualifying in their first participation. Its usually the lack of experience that keeps them from going to the World Cup. And this case is no different, none the less, they should be proud of their achievements so far.'

Indeed a strong Northern Ceasarea was able to survive for the first 45 minutes and even made a few daring moves, sending Salmeron and Torres down the Tadjik lines. In one instance, they almost beat Suchomlinov, who had to use the tips of his fingers to keep that shot from getting past him.
In the Second half the Tadjiks restored the balance, or in this imbalance, and made quick work of the Ceasarean defenses. Elisarov and Kirponos organized and led the offensive they begun around the 65th minute and lasted until the 87th minute when Tulberdiev set the score to 3-0 after Saradov and Elisarov had made the first two goals.

After checking the scores from the other matches in group 13, the fans in the stadium made a quick calculation and realized that their team had qualified. It was the beginning of a party that would turn the whole city upside down, even the next day trafficjams caused by celebrating fans were very common, forcing some companies to give their employees a day off. Those who wanted to work couldnt get there because those who went to the match have taken over the streets.

GROUP 13 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Tadjikistan 9 6 3 0 19 3 16 21
Spruitland 9 5 4 0 15 4 11 19
N. Caesarea 10 2 5 3 8 12 -4 11
Radke 10 3 2 5 11 18 -7 11
Pastorville 9 3 2 4 8 15 -7 11
Atheistic Right 10 2 2 6 9 13 -4 8
Apo. Kittens 9 2 2 5 7 12 -5 8

MD1: Bye
MD2: Atheistic Right - Tadjikistan D 0-0
MD3: Tadjikistan - Radke W 4-2
MD4: N. Ceasarea - Tadjikistan D 1-1
MD5: Apo. Kittens - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD6: Tadjikistan - Pastorville W 4-0
MD7: Tadjikistan - Spruitland D 0-0
MD8: Bye
MD9: Tadjikistan - Atheistic Right W 2-0
MD10: Radke - Tadjikistan W 0-3
MD11: Tadjikistan - N. Ceasarea W 3-0
MD12: Tadjikistan - Apo. Kittens
MD13: Pastorville - Tadjikistan
MD14: Spruitland - Tadjikistan

Tadjik Goalscorers:
Saradov - 6
Zyrianov - 5
Tulberdiev - 4
Elisarov - 2
Kirponos - 1
Maximov - 1

I lack inspiration, so this isnt really original
You might be a Tigers fan if:

...the only time you expect clean sheets is when you do the laundry.

...you think "Karela" is an alien from a mysterious planet called "Rejistania".

...you have a pathological hatred of Sarzonian jersey's(they're acceptable until we get to the penalties)

...you're suprised when opposing fans expect to get non-alcoholic drinks at our stadiums

...you've got a photo of coach Isserson on your night stand

...you have fantasies about doing it in the toilets of the Isserson Stadium, during a match of the Tigers offcourse.

Vuam and Isma

08-05-2006, 14:31

[OOC : Sorry for the double post, but I was limited to 50000 caracters... so I needed more space!]

Gazetta de'Esporte

In control.
Gaspland - 1 (#6 76)
Vuam and Isma - 4 (Yak 35, Grak 42, Fitzsimons 57, 82)

V&I found good form to logically dispose of Gaspland, and keep their (faint) hopes of qualification alive.

V&I never seemed to be in danger during the match, and settled the score with Gaspland on almost every attack. V&I had 82% of ball posession when they scored their first goal, a shot from just inside the box by Yak. And the presence of V&I's midfield was crushing, as they continued to monopolise the ball, but preferring to have Gaspland running at their shadows rather than attack.

Just before the break, Grak scored from the 6-yard box after Masilela made a terrible short-range miss, and V&I were 2-0 ahead as they went into the tunnel.

Masilela didn't make the second half, as Fitzsimons turned out to take his spot. Fitzsimons was inspirational, helping V&I seal the game twice. He intercepted a weak defensive pass between #3 and #5 to be able to beat Gaspland's 'keeper in a neat one on one. Gaspland reacted in a very positive manner, and #6 clawed one back with a sweet ball that was just too fast for O'Connor to catch. And Fitzsimons sealed the game again with a first-post header off a Grak cross late in the game, sending V&I up the table with a neat 4-1 win.

Gazetta de'Esporte

Are we footballed?

Well, V&I have 3 games left, and thanks to a series of good results, they are in a very nice position, currently 3rd in the group. Now, we'd love to see V&I heading straight to the WC, but we fear that it will be impossible. Indeed, V&I have to face the three biggest teams of the group in a row : Starblaydia, Praying2God and Harlesburg.

Now, let's look at the table :

GROUP 3 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Starblaydia 9 8 0 1 18 5 13 24
Praying2God 9 5 1 3 12 6 6 16
Vuam and Isma 9 5 0 4 14 13 1 15
Gaspland 10 3 2 5 17 19 -2 11
Harlesburg 9 3 1 5 10 15 -5 10
Georgeonia 10 3 1 6 7 17 -10 10
Dauna Hills 10 2 3 5 13 19 -6 9

If we look at it closely, we can see different solutions :

(L=Loss, D=Draw, W=Win)

-L Starblaydia L P2G L Harlesburg : 6-3
-L Starblaydia L P2G D Harlesburg : 6-3
-L Starblaydia L P2G W Harlesburg : 3
-L Starblaydia D P2G L Harlesburg : 6-2
-L Starblaydia W P2G L Harlesburg : 4-2
-L Starblaydia D P2G D Harlesburg : 4-2
-L Starblaydia D P2G W Harlesburg : 3-2
-L Starblaydia W P2G D Harlesburg : 3-2
-L Starblaydia W P2G W Harlesburg : 3-2
-D Starblaydia L P2G L Harlesburg : 6-3
-D Starblaydia L P2G D Harlesburg : 6-3
-D Starblaydia L P2G W Harlesburg : 3
-D Starblaydia D P2G L Harlesburg : 6-2
-D Starblaydia D P2G D Harlesburg : 3-2
-D Starblaydia D P2G W Harlesburg : 3-2
-D Starblaydia W P2G L Harlesburg : 4-2
-D Starblaydia W P2G D Harlesburg : 3-2
-D Starblaydia W P2G W Harlesburg : 3-2
-W Starblaydia L P2G L Harlesburg : 4-2
-W Starblaydia L P2G D Harlesburg : 3-2
-W Starblaydia L P2G W Harlesburg : 3-2
-W Starblaydia D P2G L Harlesburg : 4-2
-W Starblaydia D P2G D Harlesburg : 3-2
-W Starblaydia D P2G W Harlesburg : 3-2
-W Starblaydia W P2G L Harlesburg : 3-2
-W Starblaydia W P2G D Harlesburg : 3-2
-W Starblaydia W P2G W Harlesburg : 2-1

That's :
1 way to be #1.
21 ways to be #2.
26 ways to be #3.
11 ways to be #4.
6 ways to be #5.
6 ways to be #6.
0 ways to be #7.

But we must remember that all these results aren't equally probable... Anything but a defeat in Starblaydia would be surprising, and a win in P2G is improbable... only the result against Harlesburg can go any way.

So we think that this is a better table :
-L Starblaydia L P2G L Harlesburg : 6-3
-L Starblaydia L P2G D Harlesburg : 6-3
-L Starblaydia L P2G W Harlesburg : 3
-L Starblaydia D P2G L Harlesburg : 6-2
-L Starblaydia D P2G D Harlesburg : 4-2
-L Starblaydia D P2G W Harlesburg : 3-2

So that's :
0 ways to be #1.
3 ways to be #2.
6 ways to be #3.
4 ways to be #4.
3 ways to be #5.
3 ways to be #6.
0 ways to be #7.

So we think that V&I can aim for a Top-3 finish!

[OOC : Thank you for your patience if you read all this. Some of what I said was pretty crap (especially at the end). Blam it on 6 hours of RP non-stop.]

The Lowland Clans

08-05-2006, 15:00

GRAHAM CITY SUN - Sports Section
Stars Settle In For Final Grind
James McGowan, Football World

GRAHAM CITY - With the victory over the Algal States 2-1 and Krytenia's suprising draw against Geisenfried, The Stars are now in an unexpected place: they are possibly one win away from relegating the first seed in the group to non-qualification. With only one game remaining before the Stars play the Krytenians at home, it will be a game that goes down in history as one of the most important post-greatness games for a resurgent but struggling football program. The most important aspect of this game should be next week's match against Talmeria. If the Stars can win this game and give them some momentum going into the Krytenian game, it could be huge.

Another important thing to note is the fact that this game will be played at home, in City International Stadium before a crowd of one-hundred and twenty-five thousand screaming fans, almost all guaranteed to support the Stars as this crucial game could now determine the Stars fate for qualifying. With both Krytenia and Turori vastly ahead of the Stars in terms of goal differential, the Stars will need a miracle to surpass Turori, essentially two Turori losses to and a win and a draw to surpass them, but the chances of that happening are slim. Krytenia however, has produced a lackluster team this qualifying season, and are looking very vulnerable to a upset from a team like the Clans.

The Stars on the other hand, have been looking much more like the dominant team of ye olde yore than in the last several cups. Experience from the AOCAF and the Cup of Harmony, where a quarter-final and second round matches provided a much better improvement over the Stars previous performances. The midfield has been dominant, with not a single game outside of the Turori debalce has been a blowout for the opposing team thanks to the team of Mackallen, Mackenzie, Krosti and Konstantinoppolis. Krosti is expected to get the start next week against Talmeria, after much debate and deliberation among Westley Stjepan and his staff. His comments about Krosti's needing more play time if he's needed against Krytenia are certainly warranted, and probably the right call.

Now, the most important question is can the Stars beat the Krytenians? Probably. Will it be easy? Probably not. If the Stars do indeed win, it won't be the end. They'll have to finish strong against a slumping Tynelian squad that has proven it can play with the big boys. Now it's all up to the players on this one.

Anastasiania

08-05-2006, 15:55

Loss Streak Means End of Road
Anastasiania's Strikers Go Through 289-Minute Drought

After the surprising 2-1 win in Qazox, Anastasiania thought that that match would be the start of something big in international football for the new nation. However, Anastasiania's side showed that they were all too inexperienced to have a shot at qualifying - their next results have been as dire as we would, to be fair, expect, but the good news is that we've got two matches left, against bottom-of-the-group Remote Islands and Zorinia. Wins there could ensure a half-decent ranking ahead of the Cup of Harmony, which leaders of the Anastasianian Football Federation says they would be willing to host if more experienced footballing nations were to offer assistance. However, it is conceivable Anastasiania would end with a streak of five defeats: after 1-2 at home to the struggling Legalese side, the record of the last three games reads P3 W0 D0 L3 1-6 Pts0.

Nevertheless, manager Ylva Pettersdotter refuses to despair, and have said she will "turn to youth" for the final games of the qualifying season. This may mean that Björntorp's Jonny Larsson and Älgborg's Glenn Olsson should be in with shouts, and Kalervo Kottila, who has done well for himself after coming off the subs bench, should also be in with a chance. Whether Andrew Lewis, the promising 17-year-old from Chesterton, will be selected remains to be seen, but signals from inside the camp indicates he will not.

Audioslavia 2
Anastasiania 0

Anastasiania 2
The Islands of Qutar 0

Anastasiania 1 (Blain 72)
Legalese 2 (Duff 19, Sonermartt 84 pen)

Rordia

08-05-2006, 16:23

RORDIA - DESTINATION NMS
Part 10: In Dire Straits

Rordia's World Cup dream is beginning to fade after a dire display against Nebuleux. We could only draw 1-1 against the group's bottom team.
Things were looking so bright when Tim Brick headed in a goal in the 36th minute. But then the Rordians blew it big time. Their defence had more holes than a slice of cheese, and if it wasn't for keeper Iain O'Leary, they would have conceded four or five goals. O'Leary didn't make a single mistake - until the first minute of second-half injury time. He fouled a Nebuleux striker in the area, and then failed to save the penalty.
Rordia boss Neil van der Wal fumed: "That was utterly disgraceful, that display was. We are the Rordian national team, not a Sunday League club. But we played like Sunday Leaguers out there. We cannot continue playing like that, or we'll have to wait another World Cup."
Rordia are now three points behind Hypocria with three games left. If they don't get a win against Narbithia in their next game, their chances of qualification will be very slim.

LINE-UP: O'Leary; Craig, Robertson, McMenahan (Harrold), Towell; Mirren, Vance, van der Wal (Farrell), Parkinson; Brick, Hartnell (Stevenson).

OTHER RESULTS:
Bedistan 4 Virginia Nova 0
Narbithia 1 Hypocria 3

COULD INJECTION STOP LEG FLU?
Scientists have announced that they have created an injection that could bring an end to Rordian leg flu.
The jab will strengthen bones in all areas of the body, including the legs. Scientists believe that it will make broken legs less common. In order to save money, he injection will only be given to players with weaker legs than normal.
So far, the flu has 'infected' 85 players, and nearly 50 of those cases have caused early retirements.

BONAREV GETS OVER 10,000 NAMES
Aleks Bonarev has managed to get more than 10,000 names on his petition to get into Rordia's team.
Bonarev, 21, has been constantly begging to get into the Rordia team, despite not hailing from the country. He now feels that his growing fan base will convince the Rordian FA to let him play for the national side.
Bonarev's performances in the Tigra Rossa defence have also improved, and that should work in his favour. He said: "I got loads of names now. FA must now say yes. I deserve play for Rordia."

Northern Caesarea

08-05-2006, 16:51

"Liberated from the pressure of qualifying for WC28, we can see our next matches as a preparation for Euskocup, the first football championship of the Euskalherria region", said Paco Antequera.

Some new faces will appear against Spruitland:

12. Molina

18.Valera
21. Perea
15. Molinero
22. Ibañez

24. Novo
10. Zahínos
8. Ibagaza
6. Colsa

19. Castelar
9. Torres

Called in:

1. Cuéllar
2. Ferrer
14. Vizcaíno
20. Gabi
7. Narváez
23. Salmerón

Lisburn Mateys

08-05-2006, 16:51

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
The dream is over, but the party continues

Today the Mateys booted out of the world cup after losing to Milchama. To stay in with a chance of qualifying they had to beat the very strong Milchama side,, nothing else would do, and they failed to do it.

1-2 the final score was and again the Mateys where unlucky to win, after another dog fight of game.

Milchama started brightly, scoring early on with many Mateys fans thinking they could be on the wrong end of a heavy beating, but that didnt happen.

The Mateys picked up their performance, with Richard Dougherty forcing several saves from Clay Finton. The Mateys finished the half stronger but needed to continue to work hard to avoid a rout.

After the second half the Mateys did what they wanted to do they contained Milchama, with the defence workjing overtime and Marvin Andrews putting in some crunching tackles causing Floren Albentine to go off injured although we dont think it is too serious. This was when the goal came, J.J. Faren hit the freekick, which everyone expected him to shoot from including the goalkeeper who had positioned himself accordingly, but Faren instead it the ball to the far side of the box to meet the head of Dunston Copperlee.

The MAteys knowing that they must win this match found a new desire to win, the pushed up in numbers, and Amusi Akobyi scored the Mateys goal just 7 minutes after Milchama's second this set the game up for an exciting finish, but Milchama dug in hard and still managed to attack the MAteys goal using the theory "the best for of defence is attack"

Final score
Lisburn Mateys 1 - 2 Milchama
Floren Albentine - 3
Dunston Copperlee - 59
Amusi Akobyi - 66

Floren Albentine injured - 57

Speaking to Manager Paul Kirk,
"he boys gave it their all today and im happy with that, things looked bad at the start but they are a credit to themselves for not letting their heads drop and they hung in there. It is the end of the world cup for us, but we never expect to qualify first time round, we hope to win our last two games and finish as high in the group as possible and therefore hopefully increase our world ranking"

Reporter: Hello David there are many rumours flying around that you are considering retiring from international football at the end of this world cup, is this true.

David Armstrong : I most definalty am not, international football has only come to this country in the past year and hope to play as many games as possible, and as captain i think i have a right to guide this very young team to greater things, i have been pleased with my own performances over this tournament and i feel in good condition so i have no reason to retire yet.

Rep: We'll what have you thought of the tournament so far, have you exceeded expectations??

DA: Well you must remember that although we are out, we still have two very difficult games comming up which we hope to win and the squad must stay focused if we are to do so and increase our international rank and hopfully get a more favourable draw for the next competition.

Rep: Ok thanks for you time

Cataduanes

08-05-2006, 16:52

Islanders fail to get 3 points

MD 11 saw the Islanders failed to dispatch Magnus Valerius in a goaless match characterised by one word ''scrappy'', neither side could find many openings and the Islanders dispite dominating large chunks of the fixture seemed unable to get past the midfield pairing of Jonathon Song and
Heinrich Zerbst who were outstanding, being proactive in the hassling of Souletano and Lim, denying them space and time to distrubute correctly. The closest the islanders got was from Souletano's freekick that curved in from the right about 25 yards only to bounce onto the line and then the cross bar before shooting off out of the box. Coach Manua refused to pass comment after the match.

Meanwhile FMJ Phoenix closed the gap with a 1-0 win over St Happenin bringing them back level on points with Cataduanes who hold the top spot on GD only, surely the Islanders regret dropping the points on MD 11 as well as MD 7 and 9. On MD 12 Cataduanes go to New Lexington while the Vikings face Bazalonia, many in the UNFR will be praying that Bazalonia beat them! with only 3 fixtures left it is an understatement to say that the Islanders had better win all of them, but with the Vikings due to play them on MD 13 at the Estadio Nacional it looks like Cataduanes destiny still rests in there hands, on MD 14 the Islanders travel to Bazalonia. But to be fair the Vikings do not have it easy either facing Bazalonia(H), Cataduanes(A) and Wentland(A) and will also be under pressure to get results.
Bazalonia also have a good chance, they find themselves in third place and within touching distance of the top two, should either Cataduanes or FMJ Phoenix slip up Bazalonia will be there no doubt!
Also in Group 12 Wentland travelled to New Lexington beating them 2-0, keeping them in the running for now.

GROUP 12 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Cataduanes 9 6 1 2 19 8 11 19
Fmjphoenix 9 6 1 2 15 5 10 19
Bazalonia 9 5 1 3 16 11 5 16
Wentland 9 4 2 3 18 12 6 14
Magnus Valerius 10 3 2 5 12 20 -8 11
St. Happenin 10 2 2 6 6 21 -15 8
New-Lexington 10 1 3 6 8 17 -9 6

Wentland

08-05-2006, 19:08

Computer Jones sat at his computer, trying to work out the permutations.

Three games, five points.

Five-thirds of a point per game more than either Cataduanes or Fmjphoenix needed.

1.666666666 forever more than either Cataduanes or Fmjphoenix needed.

Goal difference is close. Couple of wins should catch it up.

Didn't look any better however he looked at it.

What were the remaining fixtures?

The Cataduanos had to visit New-Lexington, host Fmjphoenix and visit Bazalonia.

Fmjphoenix had to host Bazalonia, visit Cataduanes and - eep - visit Wentland.

Wentland had to host St Happenin, host Bazalonia and - eep - host Fmjphoenix.

Computer Jones worked it out. Three wins for the Swifts took them up to 23 points. With Cataduanes and Fmjphoenix on 19, they each needed only five points from 3 games and it was back to Harmony Swiftwise.

But if the Swifts had three wins Fmjphoenix could only get to 25 max - and if they did that Cataduanes could only get to 25 as well. One slip by either team and it could be curtains.

And if Wentland won all three and the top two drew, Wentland would be on 23, Fmjphoenix could ONLY get to 23 and Cataduanes could get to 26.

Eep.

Meanwhile, eyes down for a full house against St Happenin. It was nervy, nervy, nervy stuff in New-Lexington. Wentland were lucky to get in at half-time level, a very strong penalty claim turned down after a Griggs shot was blocked by Wright - was it ball to hand or vice versa?

Bluff got into the team at half-time and replaced the hapless Smith with Tommy Barnes. And Barnesy was immediately in the action and buzzing around. Poor Adlestone and Crosby were addled and crossed with aplomb. But the goal would not come and the giant Bennet caused problems for Wright and Moon intermittently.

Only with a quarter of an hour remaining did the storm break. Barnes had two men on him all the time now but took advantage. Loder went down the right, crossed to the near post where Barnes was - and he let the ball past. Treves was hovering behind and had an empty net. 1-0.

A few minutes later Loder made it two, a hopeful long ball from Weston looked like it was going to be covered by Crosby, but the beanpole defender did not get a complete connection on the ball and the speedy winger swept it past Lee before the keeper could react. 2-0, and sighs of relief from the Swifts contingent.

It will have to be a LOT better against St Happenin. With goal difference taking on fundamental importance a big score would be nice. But above all the three points are needed - and the Saints are not the soft touch they were in the first phase.

Computer Jones worked out the probability of qualifying. 22.6%. Hmm. Worth a bet at 6-1 against.

Cuation

08-05-2006, 19:35

Cuation Take Back Second Place!

We had to leave you all at the half way point due to infighting among the press which saw Rat Face flee into exile. We had managed to let you know that a battling 2-2 draw with Bettia had not been enough as the Fighting Norris has clawed themselves into third place after a thumping 4-1 win over FCN.

Bettia Control Winless Game

Both sides had struggled for wins in the last two games with Cuation blowing a two goal lead against FCN while Bettia had come off a 3-1 defeat to the group leaders.

Bettia's skilful attack meant that Cuation struggled to get forward, Giovanni having one of his wasteful days. With Abdullah and Swaine hitting in deadly cross after deadly cross, Gary Jens was kept busy, making save after save, Hutton the player who was often found frustrated. One cross from Abdullah found Hutton, the volley towards the top corner turned against the post by the athletic leap of Gary Jens.

In the 21st minute, Swaine danced his way past Cole before sending a cross towards the fast post. It dropped around knee height for the experienced York , marked by young Cheese. With one touch, he flicked the ball into his path and away from Cheese before rifling it into the bottom corner.

Rual Mendiz had only one chance before hand, a snap shot in the 15th minute too close to Ricardo DiTorino. His pace was an outlet, long balls sending him chasing all over the pitch. Another run saw his low shot deflected wide by the outstretched leg of McKinnon in the 23rd minute. Giovanni curled it in and Yan had to leap high on the edge of the penalty area, knocking it towards goal.

The ball fell between Rual Mendiz and DiTorino on the six yard line with Rual poking it towards goal but the keeper getting a foot to it but unable to get down in time to save with his hand. The ball trickled behind DiTorino and towards the goal Cheese scoring from three yards.

1-1 and Bettia poured forward again, York blazing over from ten yards as the defence tightened up, looking to see the half level till half time. Swain decided to deal with the matter himself, scoring in the 43rd minute. Connick had been brilliant despite the marking of Roy Ferguson and his through pass set Swain clear of Yan and Cole. Gary Jens tried to get to the ball first but Swain nicked it past him and fired gleefully into the net.

At half time, Anderton replaced playmaker Giovanni and Cuation improved. Anderton had a good day, often bringing others into play and Bettia found themselves under pressure at times, Asthon having a few long rangers, Rual Mendiz often denied by the keeper and Milnar sneaking in a few times behind the defence.

Bettia also forced many saves from Gary Jens and Cheese made a great tackle on Hutton when Gary Jens dropped a cross. When Cheese came off for Pual Keane, he received a standing ovation.

On the 70th minute, Keane headed Butcher's early cross against the bar with Carew clearing for a corner. Ashton drove it in but DiTorino punched it to the edge of the box where Anderton heading it back in. With the defenders on the line having moved up and the keeper on the six yard line, the ball somewhat managed to reach the goal unimpeded. 2-2

At home, perhaps Cuation should have pushed for the win but instead, seemed content to soak up the pressure. To be fair, they did it well, Bettia unable to create anything but easy long shots. In the end a good result until other news flew in.

Scorers for Cuation
Mendiz: 4
Giovanni: 1
Tanner: 1
Keane: 2
Ashton: 1
Milnar: 1
Ferguson: 1
Anderton: 2
Cheese: 1

Schiavonia

08-05-2006, 20:33

The Schiavone Scribe
WHISKY IN VEJAR
Vejar 2-5 Schiavonia

Schiavonia got their own back on Vejar in a spectacular second half come back in which the complacent hosts staggered about like a bunch of hopeless drunks. Which is what they were.

Two-nil up at half time, and complacent about another victory against the woeful-looking Sloths, the players in the Vejar dressing room were shown on local TV supping from a celebratory cask of whisky. They overdid it, though, and as the second half wore on, they became increasingly worse for wear.

Five goals in the second half, through Tarmey, Di Mascherenasi, McAndrew, Sanderson and Berry made fools of the home team, as they staggered about the pitch, occassionally hugging and declaring their love for one another before throwing up at the side of the pitch.

Either way, this is a real confidence booster for Schiavonia, four points bahind Tinsuvilia with a game in hand and the newcomers to come to the King Francesco Stadium - Schiavonia's fate is still in their own hands!

Final score
Vejar 2 (some people, first half)
Schiavonia 5 (Tarmey 54, Di Mascherenast 61, McAndrew 73, Sanderson 75, Berry 85)

Audioslavia

08-05-2006, 21:02

Oh go on then.

You might be an Audioslavian football fan if:

...the only time you expect clean sheets is if you sleep on the sofa

...you think "karela" is an islamic declaration of holy war

...you have a pathological hatred of the island of Jersey

...you’re surprised when opposing fans expect to be given directions to the right stadium

...you think all Insanicians are fashioned entirely of sarcasm

...you have Joe Pasquale in your garden and you wonder why he can't write his own jokes

...you have fantasies about beautiful mornings and you wake up boo.

Any resemblances to Stewart Lee jokes or 90s indie songs are purely coincidental

McPsychoville

08-05-2006, 21:39

Hangin' In There

Oliverry may be nigh-on uncatchable, Kelse may be eliminated but the race for that one last qualification spot is still well and truly on - all five other teams are still mathematically able to make second, even if it doesn't look likely. For the Psychos, a second consecutive clean sheet - something that makes the folks back home nervous indeed - went a long way to pulling their goal difference into a positive figure, with a 3-0 victory over CR Oscilloscopes.

For their part, CRO hadn't changed their tactics, or line-up, a great deal since the last time we played them, and if you remember, the scoreline then was 3-1 to the Psychos. So when Gabriel Price took the lead with an absolute wonder goal, you got the feeling things were going to go right for the team today; Price's goal, incidentally, was a lob struck from just inside the CRO half. It was a goalkeeping mistake that gifted it to him - that, coupled with the sizeable divot the CRO goalkeeper tripped over.

The stars were aligned for the Psychos, shown perfectly when the referee awarded them a debatable free-kick off a 50-50 challenge. Lysiak's curling shot was on target, and the CRO goalkeeper did well to parry it away, but giving up the rebound proved to be his fatal mistake as Molly Cross pounced with a fearless diving header to secure a one-goal cushion.

The game eased up a bit from there, but while the Psychos were happy to relax a little they didn't take their feet off the pedals completely. After a couple of weak CRO attacks had been taken down, however, the fact that the cushion was fragile found its way home and the team started battering at the CRO defensive line with renewed vigour. Sabin, always such a threat, saw two promising chances stopped - one cleared from the line by an Oscilloscopes defender, and even Price, the Boy Wonder himself, had difficulty finding a way through.

But like Alexander the Great weeping when he had no more worlds to conquer, or the hockey-playing Alexander the Great weeping when he had no more faces to rock, Price’s own point of weepage was soon to come. Collecting the ball on the half-way line, he rode one sliding tackle, flicked the ball over a second - with the studs up and ready, no less - then simply stopped and let a third defender skid past. With just the goalkeeper to beat - and the two previous goals had proved him fallible - Gabriel eschewed fancy tactics in favour of simply side-footing the ball into the wrong corner.

And when Gabriel, ‘the Psychotic Angel’, saw his opponents in tatters and he wept, for he knew he could go no further.

And because we can't resist a bandwagon...

You might be a Psycho if: clean sheets make you deeply nervous

...you know perfectly well what 'karela' means, but denounce it as 'liberal terrorism'

...you're perfectly happy to start a fight if an opposing fan dares mention the word 'offside' in a derogatory way around you

...if you sleep with a fuzzy Cup of Harmony

...if, at any time, you have debated how Samantha Shelley would have done against Schiavonia's front line

...and finally, if you have ever attempted to emulate Damon Arnaud's full-body check on Magnus Valerian Jacques D'Anjou outside a hockey rink or rugby pitch, then you might just be a Psycho.

Rorysville

08-05-2006, 22:08

http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/3189/sportsnetrv9bw.png
Sportsnet RV Soccer Central

Well This one stings a little bit. Rorysville had a great chance to move forward in World Cup Qualification and lost a close match to Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 2 to 1 .
"Well We had oppertunities earl and we let them back into it and after they got a lead they put the pressure up on us and tightened up their defense making all our through passes and our crosses disapear into the Defenseive wall. when we did get through their keeper made some spectacular saves."

Statistics from Game #10 vs. Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Goals for RV
A.Svernetsiev(25min)
Goals for ASMV
P.Alexander(34min)
P.Alexander(67min)
Yellow Cards Assesed
None
of note-This Loss drops RV to 4th in Group 7 with 2 games left and 4 points outta 2nd place.

Other Scores from Group 7
Jeruselem 3 Philthealbino 0
Boudra-Boudra 1 Kericia 1
Group 7 Standings after Matchday 11
GROUP 7 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Jeruselem 9 6 2 1 15 6 9 20
ASMV 9 6 0 3 12 8 4 18
Becquerelia 9 5 0 4 14 11 3 15
Rorysville 10 4 2 4 15 15 0 14
Kericia 9 4 2 3 13 9 4 14
Boudra-Boudra 10 4 1 5 11 15 -4 13
Philthealbino 10 0 1 8 3 19 -16 1
Rorysville WC28 Schedule
MD 1: (unranked) Philthealbino W 1-0
MD 2: #72 Bequerelia L 4-1
MD 3: @#8 Jeruselem D 2-2
MD 4: @#32 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega W 3-1
MD 5: @#45 Kericia L 2-1
MD 6: BYE
MD 7: @#116 Boudra-Boudra L 2-1
MD 8: @(unranked) Philthealbino W 3-1
MD 9: @#72 Bequerelia W 3-2
MD10: #8 Jeruselem D 1-1
MD11: #32 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega L 2-1
MD12: #45 Kericia
MD13: BYE
MD14: #116 Boudra-Boudra

Sportsnet RV Player of the Match-Anatolli Svernetsiev

Haraki

08-05-2006, 22:39

The Haraki Hawks had an uneventful couple of weeks. Cooling off a 1-0 victory over Iksonic, whose only victory in the entire qualification was a 3-0 drubbing of Haraki the first time, in which Mike Zendar scored the winner just before half, they were back in Atherlon for the customary exhibition match against a club side, this time Uses Coast FC, who were missing forward Matthew Thompson, midfield Allison Keyes, and defender Nathan Rogers.

The Hawks managed a fairly easy victory, coming out 2-0. Uses Coast's keeper was in good shape, but couldn't stop the sheer volume of shots as the Hawks outplayed Uses Coast, maintaining posession for twice as long as them throughout the entire match. Goals went to Samuel Sharp and Richard Weber, both in the first half. A goal by Richard Weber in the second half was discounted because he was offside.

The Hawks have now had their second bye date, and will play Hockey Canada, the Kazoo Peoples, and Yafor 2 on the last three matchdays. All three are ranked higher than Haraki, but Haraki is holding one point ahead of the latter two for the second qualifying spot, and what will follow is a desperate scrabble for the spot, with three teams all within one point of claiming it. The last three days shoudl prove tense.

In other football news, Haraki Hawks' star defenceman Jonah Menike has made a joking request that Hockey Canada throw their match to Haraki, as they've already qualified. So far, there has been no response, except a slap upside the head by Hawks' coach Lloyd Vargas.

Milchama

08-05-2006, 23:34

OOC: This is the one fun thing about Arch/NMS hosting they always find some fun gag to make RPing fun, in the CoH it was Haikus now your a <insert nation here> fan if. Good times

IC: Anyway its time for the Milchamian portion of this new craze:

You know your a Milchama fan if...

...You hate the Lowland Clans with every fiber of your body but still don't know why

...Still do not understand why all teams do not have a 3-3-4 formation or something with even more strikers.

...You know exactly what Karela is and have declared a holy war against it

...Believe there is no better striker than Marc J. Floren and have gotten into huge arguments about this

...Believe you are persecuted by many other middle ranked KPB nations for being better than them (Chicanada, Hypocria, Qasox)

...Still have the program of the Milchama/Hypocria game from WC 27 or any of the actual cup games.

Alexandria-Times-Tribune-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer

Sports Section

One more win

Well that's not official but barring a Giant Zucchini win over Lisburn Mateys, and Sarzonia and us losing both of those games, it should be all Milchama needs to qualify for this World Cup. We finished the first part of our "revenge tour" today and we got our revenge, despite an injury to Floren Albentine (who will be out the next game but no more after that thank god) we dominated and beat the Mateys 2-1 to knock them out of World Cup competition for this time. We wish them luck at the Cup of Harmony. Coach Jamie Smith said, "This second half we are showing the consistency we lacked in the first half. We have won all our games so far this half and you cannot ask for more from a team. Now if we just beat Khenas, which should not be too hard but we will not overlook them, we can easily qualify we just need to do our jobs and that is win."

Mr Chuck Norris

08-05-2006, 23:49

Chuck Norris News
For All Of Your Fighting Norris Coverage

Can the Fighting Norris still qualify? YES!
Is it probable? HECK NO!

Mr Chuck Norris 2 (John Fedo 17, 29)
Cuation 3 (Rual Mendisez 11, 23, 36)

A darn good football match, but a saddening ending as this match was more vital than ever for our beloved Fighting Norris.

A match in which 5 goals were scored is bound to have constant action... right? WRONG! By the 36th minute all scoring had seized and the midfield battle ensued in ridiculous fasion. To be a little more specific, Cuation's Rual Mendisez managed to speed up, down, and around the Fighting Norris defense. His dominance enabled him to score three goals in a matter of 36 minutes, that's a goal every 12 minutes. However, Cuation's constant onslaught of offense ultimately opened up the field for the Fighting Norris "five-forward" offense. The absence of Chuck Norris was still ever present as the offense stuggled in advancing the ball. However, John Fedo stepped up to fill his void and chalked two goals in the 36-minute goal-scoring portion of the match.

As play continued, Cuation made a violent change in formation and shifted to a ridiculously defensive strategy. This shut down the weak Fighting Norris offense in its time of dire need. The half expired showing a score of 3-2 in Cuation's favor.

Unfortunately, as Cuation's wall of defense held strong, so did the score. Although the Fighting Norris offense got close to tying the game several times, they never managed to convert, leaving them with no tourney points at the conclusion of the match.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"At least we're not eliminated yet!", slurs an incoherent Bob Janney. "Just look at the chart!"

GROUP 4 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Squornshelous 9 7 2 0 22 6 16 23
Cuation 9 5 3 1 21 13 8 18
Bettia 9 5 2 2 20 17 3 17
Mr Chuck Norris 10 4 1 5 19 21 -2 13
5 Civ. Nations 9 3 3 3 17 18 -1 11
Burning Pengs 10 2 1 7 10 22 -12 7
Slakaj 10 1 0 8 7 20 -13 3

"We've got two matches left to play. If we win them both, we have 19 points at the conclusion of qualification. However, should either Cuation or Bettia end up with more than 19 points at any point, it's all over. Guess what, Bettia's got a home match against Slakaj next matchday. You know what that means?"

GAME OVER

World Cup 28 Schedule of the Fighting Norris:
Matchday 1: Vs. Five Civilized Nations (Won 4-2)
Matchday 2: Vs. Squornshelous (Loss 0-2)
Matchday 3: At Bettia (Won 3-1)
Matchday 4: At Cuation (Loss 1-3)
Matchday 5: On Bye
Matchday 6: Vs. Slakaj (Won 1-0)
Matchday 7: Vs. Burning Penguins (Draw 2-2)
Matchday 8: At Five Civilized Nations (Won 4-1)
Matchday 9: At Squornshelous (Loss 1-4)
Matchday 10: Vs. Bettia (Loss 1-3)
Matchday 11: Vs. Cuation (Loss 2-3)
Matchday 12: On Bye
Matchday 13: At Slajak
Matchday 14: At Burning Penguins

Fighting Norris World Cup 28 Record: (4-1-5)

The Gupta Dynasty

09-05-2006, 01:35

Golden Wolves Within Striking Distance Of Qualification.

Game 11
Yafor 2 3 - Nouvelle Angleterre 0

NOUVELLE ANGLETERRE - It was light and sunny as the Golden Wolves of Yafor 2 looked to travel to gain revenge against the Baptism of Fire runners-up. They had tied the other team in a controversial match involving a disallowed Fernando Malar header where he was either offsides or he hit the opposing player - it was never made clear. By some accounts, the Golden Wolves ended up victorious, 2-1, but, officially, it was a 1-1 tie, and Yaforite fans were itching for revenge.

The World Cup has, in full, been overshadowed by various internal issues. The LIDYT referee-ing scandal, where thirteen referees were found to be bribed by several managers and whose details are not entirely clear was one of these reasons. The Inagural Edition of the Imperial Yaforite Derby, the first transnational horse race, the Imperial Yaforite Marathon of Ajer, where thousands participated and raised over 100 million mulcs for charity, and many other sporting tournaments were the main reasons.

The game itself began in bright sunshine with the Golden Wolves in high spirits. The second placed team, Haraki, were on a bye and so, it looked like an easy chance to sneak into a much better position generally. Their manager, Barry Owens, who is set to lose his job, most probably, if the Golden Wolves fail to qualify, had given them a little pep talk about the fact that they needed to win. Which they did.

The first goal came on the feet of young star Prince Sebard. He had been selected to replace Gerod Flamer, the old captain, and he proved he belonged. The Nouvelle Angleterre defense never knew what hit them. Sebard's deft skill with the ball on his feet and his arrogence combined to form skilled tricks with his feet. The other players looked foolish as the ball moved through their legs with expert skill. Sebard completed the picture with a brilliant shot to the upper right-hand corner, for a goal, in the 32nd minute.

In the next three minutes, he proceeded to cause havoc in every direction, scoring two more goals to complete a hattrick. Both were off of passes, though the second was a free kick. He recieved a powerful cheer from the visiting Yaforite crowd of Golden Wolves fans who carried flags and banners, waving them to and fro. They had come to support their team, and a 3-0 victory was what they had been looking for.

The Golden Wolves face Alsdair I Frosticus, the Dreamed Realm old team who are looking to upset them. But the Yaforites need a victory, as their games following that are at home against 7th seeds Hockey Canada and away to Haraki to end it. The Golden Wolves face an uphill battle to qualification, but they look to succeed at that title once and for all.

-Excerpt from The Sporting Daily News.

Raging Penguins

09-05-2006, 02:53

The Troglodytia Tribune

The Team back on Losing Track

After winning two games, drawing two, and utterly failing to qualify for the WC28 The Team has lost once again to Rejistania, qhich is far more Karelan than The Team(despite what Furious Porridge said about The Teams defence).
Rejistanian Players once again faced the full fury of The Team, which had found itself unqualified for the WC28, right after defeating Elrich 3-0. As they took to the field, their was a certain inner rage that could be faintly seen in some of them, and was blatantly obvious in others. We don't see what they were so upset about: We've had a tax cut after their failure.
Of course, this might be what they resent, but that's only another incentive for them not to come back home!

During the match, the referee had to be replaced twice after their calls of foul against The Team were cut short by The Teams mascots - the Eight or so actual Raging Penguins that our country was named after - that The Team had arranged to actually arrive at one of their games. The Mascots also visciously attacked a snack-food vendor after the man gave one of the flightless birds a peice of hot-dog bun and called it a - and we quote - "A cute-y widdle-liddle fuzzball". We feel that he got exactly what he deserved, even we also have always fantasized about having the brass nerve to call a Raging Penguin a 'Cute-y, widdle-liddle fuzzball'.

According to our leading sports analysists, The Team didn't lose 0-3 to Rejistania because they were just really bad, but rather, because they attacked the other team, rather than playing football, as well as being really bad. The Team entered this game with the full intention of inflicting as much pain and suffering upon their opponant as possible(although they reportedly thought their opponant was Spaamanian Plijous, or possibly Cuation, although Cuation isn't remotely in the same group at all), and hadn't actually thought much about the ball, although Mostly Mouths once again made The Teams overall expenses go up, eating another five balls and one shoe(the foot, however, remained attached to the Rejistanian Forward).

After smuggling about twelve grenades into the stadium inside four "extra" footballs, several lengths of ten-centimeter think chain concealed inside The Penguin's costume, and with three handguns and a long, sharp, twisty instrument we'd rather not know more about hidden inside the creepy confines of The Extremely Dangerous Hair, they made numerous physical assaults upon the Rejistanians. The Rejistanians were extremely good-natured about the unexplainable violence, and some even responded in kind(although nobody bothered to complaign after the entire defence decended upon ABSOLUT LUNATIC as he wandered back towards The Team's side, because frankly, he had had a beating coming, and everybody knew it), which at first drew gasps, but later garnered appluase and laughter from the stands.
The Rejistanian defense was broken only once, after The Penguin ordered a bayonet charge and The Team(without any bayonets to speak of) rushed headlong at their opponants. If a football had been available, isntead of being chewed into a pulp by Mostly Mouths, there might have been a goal(though we doubt it). The other problem with this magnificant display of just how few weakness' there are in a truly karelan strategy, was that it occured just after the second half ended and the game was over. It was a good effort, though, for a team which concerned itself more with killing rather than scoring.

((and because a trend is a trend, and, being a trend, is meant to be followed trendily, Here is the Obligatory List:

You know You're a Fan of Raging Penguins Football if:

...You've never seen a clean sheet in your life, except that lacey one your mother kept "in case o' well-t'-do visitiurs"

...You hate every single other team with a feiry passion because they're "For'ners"

...You fly into a homocidal fury at the sight of your own teams' Jersey

...You understand what Karela is, but you can never remember how to spell it

...You find the concept of 'unarmed football' difficult to grasp

...You can't imagine why opposing fans want their teams to win

...You don't actually Exist.

Liverpool England

09-05-2006, 02:57

Reagan secures third straight win
FALE confirms it may not be enough to save his job

The Football Association of Liveprool England has given manager Nick Reagan a second vote of confidence in three games, despite the Bedistani-born manager securing three wins in a row to propel the Terminators back to the top of their qualifying group, as was the FALE's orders.

The latest developments came as a bit of a surprise to Reagan, who took it in his stride and said that he'd "do my best". The latest statement reads, in whole,

"The Football Association Board of Directors, henceforth known as boardmembers, have met and agreed unanimously that manager Nick Reagan is to be commended for suceeding in our requirements of him winning his last three matches.

However, the team's performance is still way below par that the boardmembers and the general public expect of them. The boardmembers have agreed in a six to two vote that Reagan is to secure qualification by the team's 11th match or face possible sanctions.

The boardmembers have full trust and support in Reagan's ability, and believe he is still the right man to lead us forward."

Geisenfried

09-05-2006, 03:54

Konigseifert Chronicle

Golden Eagles Get Draw, But Are Eliminated
Geisenfried Manages to Tie Powerful Krytenia, but They're Out of the Race for Qualification

While they surprised Krytenia by managing to get a draw, Geisenfried has been knocked out of qualification, being 7 points out with 2 games to go. Turori's victory over Talmeria put Krytenia in second place at 18 points, while the Golden Eagles currently only have 11. As for the match itself was an excellent game played by Geisenfried, probably one of its best performances in the World Cup qualifications, aside from the shocking upset victory over the Lowland Clans.

The game was very fast paced, with both sides scrambling from one end of the field to the other, each trying to get ahead. In the 24th minute, Krytenian forward Quinnell scored a goal against the Golden Eagles, getting his third goal against the Golden Eagles in their two matches. Geisenfried, not wanting to be caught behind, drove hard, and in the 35th, forward Karl Genz managed to hit it into the top of the side of the net, equalizing the game. The back and forth movement of the game continued for the rest of the half and for the first twenty minutes of the second. Then in the 63rd, Quinnell capitalized once more to give the Krytenians the lead once more. The Krytenian defense began to solidify once again, but in the 81st, Wolfe broke through to obtain the 2-2 score. After that, the Krytenians couldn't score fast enough to get the win.

Geisenfried: 2
Krytenia: 2
Quinnell- 24' (KRY)
Genz- 35' (GSF)
Quinnell- 63' (KRY)
Wolfe- 81' (GSF)

In related news, there have been some rumors that after Quinnell's two exceptional performances against the Geisenfried national team (scoring all 4 goals against the team), that current Geisenfried Football League/Geisenfried Fußball Liga champions Club Royal, or their top rivals and strong competitors KSC Athletic may try and make a move for the young Krytenian forward.

While they're out from attending the World Cup in New Montreal States and the Archregimancy, the Golden Eagles can still play spoilers if they manage to grab a win against Turori, their next opponents. Morale is high on Geisenfried's side, but Turori's recent streak means any upset will be a challenge.

Schedule
Geisenfried 1-0 Talmeria
Geisenfried 1-0 The Lowland Clans
Geisenfried 0-2 Tynelia
Krytenia 2-0 Geisenfried
Turori 2-0 Geisenfried
Geisenfried 1-1 Algal States
Bye
Talmeria 2-1 Geisenfried
The Lowland Clans 1-0 Geisenfried
Tynelia 0-1 Geisenfried
Geisenfried 2-2 Krytenia
Geisenfried at Turori
Algal States at Geisenfried
Bye

GROUP 15 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Turori 9 6 1 2 14 8 6 19
Krytenia 9 5 3 1 14 7 7 18
Lowland Clans 9 5 1 3 11 10 1 16
Geisenfried 10 3 2 5 7 12 -5 11
Algal States 10 2 4 4 7 9 -2 10
Tynelia 9 3 1 5 5 7 -2 10
Talmeria 10 2 2 6 4 9 -5 8

New Montreal States

09-05-2006, 04:04

Matchday Twelve scores. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10922697&postcount=12)

Rorysville

09-05-2006, 05:52

http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/3189/sportsnetrv9bw.png
Sportsnet RV Soccer Central

All it takes for Rorysville to still have a shot at qualifing is a win at home against #45 Kericia. and Unfourtunatly a promissing rise has fallen short as Rorysville lost it's second straight this time to Kericia 3 to 1.
"Well This loss will take me and the team some time to digest it all but eliminates us from Contention as we are six points out of second with one match left so that's what we have is to look onward twords our last match on Matchday fourteen against Boudra-Boudra. I'll use the off day to get the team into a frame of mind to win our last game and go out with a higher note also to set a tone for World Cup twentynine when we enter into that one with a bit more respect and pride."--Coach McKlintok after the deflating loss to Kericia
"Well I for one am looking forward to our last match this has been an unbelievable experience and I look forward to our next run in World Cup twentynine"--Adam Negeuanne on the outlook of whats next for Rorysville.
Statistics from Game #11 vs. Kericia
Goals for RV
A.Negeuanne(72min)
Goals for KER
G.Kazantzis(44min)
D.O'Shaughnessy(67min)
D.O'Shaughnessy(78min)
Yellow Cards Assesed
J.Pérez(RV-5min)
J.Mallar(RV-66min)
N.Chase(KER-67min)
of note-Defender Jaques Mallar will be benched for the Start of the next game for his lack of Discepline late in the second half CB Yvon Lafluer will start in Mallar's place at LB Mallar will be on the bench for Rorysville's last game against Boudra-Boudra

Other Scores from Group 7
Jeruselem 0 Becquerelia 1
Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 3 Philthealbino 1

Group 7 Standings after Matchday 11
GROUP 7 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
ASMV 10 7 0 3 15 9 6 21
Jeruselem 10 6 2 2 15 7 8 20
Becquerelia 10 6 0 4 15 11 4 18
Kericia 10 5 2 3 16 10 6 17
Rorysville 11 4 2 5 16 18 -2 14
Boudra-Boudra 10 4 1 5 11 15 -4 13
Philthealbino 11 0 1 9 4 22 -18 1
Rorysville WC28 Schedule
MD 1: (unranked) Philthealbino W 1-0
MD 2: #72 Bequerelia L 4-1
MD 3: @#8 Jeruselem D 2-2
MD 4: @#32 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega W 3-1
MD 5: @#45 Kericia L 2-1
MD 6: BYE
MD 7: @#116 Boudra-Boudra L 2-1
MD 8: @(unranked) Philthealbino W 3-1
MD 9: @#72 Bequerelia W 3-2
MD10: #8 Jeruselem D 1-1
MD11: #32 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega L 2-1
MD12: #45 Kericia L 3-1
MD13: BYE
MD14: #116 Boudra-Boudra

Sportsnet RV Player of the Match-Mike Jasper

Dorian and Sonya

09-05-2006, 06:24

Unicorn Bye Means No Loss Today

Queen Sonya sat in her private study. There had been no match for the Unicorns today. But there was plenty of Group 2 action to keep up with.

First of all, Liverpool England had failed to gain ground on the group as D2R had earned the 1-1 draw. That moved LE to 20 points (first in the group) while D2R has 18 points and sits behind Kaze Progressa by 1 goal on GD. Kaze Progressa could have gained the top spot in the group, but a pesky Rosberg squad held them to a 1-1 draw as well. Vilita continued it’s “too little, too late” run for a top 2 spot by downing Homieville 2-0.

Vilita does have a slight chance to earn a qualification spot. All the have to do is beat both D2R and Liverpool England. At the same time LE needs to beat Kaze Progressa and then KP and D2R draw on the final day. That scenario would see D2R, KP, and Vilita all with 19 points on the final table. The two victories should push Vilita into the WC itself as they are just a single point behind the other two right now. See……Simple. We wish Vilita the best of luck in accomplishing that task.

Now for today’s upset watch:

Group 3 - Gaspland downed Praying2God 2-1
Group 4 - Five Civilized Nations beat Squornshelous 2-1. (Sqorn’s 1st loss)
Group 6 - Haraki shocked Hockey Canada 3-2(HC’s 1st loss) ; Iksonic crushed The Kazoo Peoples 3-0
Group 7 - Bequerelia surprised Jeruselem 1-0
Group 8 - Raging Penguins raged on some Spaam 3-0 ; The Imperialist downed Ariddia 1-0
Group 9 - Kelse hammered Olivery 2-0 (Oli‘s 1st loss); Tinsuvilia spanked Schiavonia 4-1 ; Vejar pulled a Psycho on McPsychoville 3-2
Group10- Collonie shocked TnUI 2-0
Group11- Khenas downed Milchama 2-1
Group12- New-Lexington downed Cataduanes 1-0
Group14- The Macabees downed Casari 1-0
Group15- Tynelia beat Krytenia 1-0 ; Geisenfried beat Turori 1-0

And 10 primarily crucial draws to squads looking for qualification.

OOC - Olivery lost to Kelse but the table still shows the with 0 losses

Qazox

09-05-2006, 06:27

Qazox City Herald

Once again due to the continued outbreak of the Oxian Flu, we present Reggie Hassok's THE ROCK REPORT, after Qazox's 2-4 loss to Audioslavia earlier today.

Wassup' Qazox? Reggie "the Rock" Hassok again wit' chu to report on why we lost today. OUR DEFENDERS SUCK A**! that's why. We got carded 3 times in the match and one of dem was for me! (ed. note Reggie recieved one for flipping off the referee, while Keil Venice and Jarod Megia each recieved one for hard tackles) That led to 3 penalty kicks, which i su** at, and the 4th one by me I couldn't see as that dumb B**** Helena got in my way. Who's bright F***ing idea was it to have women on the team? anyway, Alicia, even though she's a broad, scored twice to make it interesting some what, but we lost and that su**s A**. Now we go to Guitar or somethin' like dat and we need to beat them metal heads to get to Montreal." (ed. note- SHUDDERS VIOLENTLY)

In other action today, The Islands of Qatar beat the Remote Islands 2-0 to take over 2nd place by 2 points. Legalese drew with Zorinia, keeping them a point behind us. The Black Oxen must win in Qatar tommorow to keep any chance of qualifaction alive. a draw won't help too much, as a draw with Audioslavia in the last match would advance Qatar.

Matchday 11 Standings:Nations in blue have qualified and nations in red have been eliminated.
GROUP 5 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Audioslavia 10 9 0 1 24 6 18 27
Isls of Qutar 10 5 3 2 10 6 4 18
Qazox 10 5 1 4 14 10 4 16
Legalese 10 4 3 3 8 10 -2 15
Anastasiania 10 2 3 5 10 16 -6 9
Zorinia 11 2 2 6 9 15 -6 8
Remote Islands 11 2 2 7 7 16 -9 8

Wentland

09-05-2006, 06:35

His Majesty watched in delight. St Happenin? Easy. Too easy. 5-0 win away, scoring in the first minute in the home game.

Then it all started to go wrong. Barnes was red carded in the 8th minute for being offside. Then Derrington collided with the post in the 12th and was substituted. But substitute goalie Tracey was not allowed to come on as he was sent off for time wasting when his tracksuit would not come off over his boots. In the 14th Blake Wright and Steve Moon collided and both were stretchered off. Then Weston was sent off for a foul throw.

Treves scored a 40 yard shot but it was disallowed for offside. Then Loder beat three men before sliding the ball home, the dejected St Happenin team kicked it out but the referee waved play on as he did not see it hit the net. Loder was then sent off for asking the referee to refer the matter to the linesman.

Then Bateson spontaneously combusted and took Treves with him. Then St Happenin brought on a small purple alien called Zaxxhax who had not been registered as a player but had six legs. Then Captain Zep Super Space Detective marmelized him with an atomic disintegrator. Then Herman The Tosser broadcast a stereoholographic image of a hyena invasion out of the East Stand and the crowd applauded. Then there was this flashing blue light and the Molemen invaded the pitch.

Then the referee decided to play 38 minutes injury time and awarded St Happenin a penalty, which he took himself, and on the seventh attempt scored. 1-1. Then he blew the final whistle.

The blast of the whistle on the Royal Train awoke His Majesty. Good grief, he thought, what on earth was all that about? He summoned his Chamberlain. "I think I've had the most extraordinary dream," he said. "I dreamt about an alien caled Zaxxhax and Captain Zep and a hyena invasion and the Molemen and a 1-1 draw with St Happenin and spontaneous combustion. "

"That is preposterous, Your Majesty," said the Chamberlain. "No way would we draw 1-1 with St Happenin. The 170+ gap in world rankings and the RP bonus will mean a gigantic victory. They haven't even posted a roster."

"Yes, I suppose you're right. Ludicrous."

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

09-05-2006, 07:19

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg
Sea Dragons Top Group 7
King For A Day

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from Stadii Se Draggonni Arcea. God it’s good to be home.

Today the Sea Dragons looked to put some distance between themselves and Bequerelia. Kericia would of course keep close. ASMV would play against winless Phil the Albino while Bequerelia faced Group 7’s best in the form of Jeruselem. Kericia was matched up against Rorysville.

As expected, both ASMV and Kericia got their wins. Just a matter of minutes would see Jeruselem do so as well. Wrong answer. Jeruselem failed to score as Bequerelia won 1-0. That keeps everything very interesting. MD13 will see ASMV face Bequerelia while Jeruselem plays Kericia. Whew!. Tight group. Tight matches. And then MD14 will see ASMV vs. Jeruselem while Kericia vs. Bequerelia.

One thing is certain right now - if ASMV and Jeruselem both win their MD13 match, they both earn qualification spots. If they both lose, ASMV and Bequerelia would have 21 points while Jeruselem and Kericia would have 20 points. Anything in between can happen.

So what does it all boil down to? The Sea Dragons need to beat Bequerelia as they visit us on MD13. That way we do not have to rely on gaining points off Jeruselem on the final day.

As for the match today, it was extremely lopsided in favor of the Sea Dragons. Goals by Porche Alexander (18), Pablo Iglesias (32), and Evan Evans (76) put ASMV up by 3. Only a late goal by someone in an albino jersey saved anything good for the visitors.

Friends Watch:

Hypocria defeated Virginia Nova 3-1
Dorian and Sonya were gone fishing
Cuation drew with Burning Penguins 1-1
Ariddia lost 0-1 to the Imperialists
Milchama lost to Khenas 1-2
Tadjikistan defeated Apologetic Kittens 2-1

The Lowland Clans

09-05-2006, 10:03

GRAHAM CITY SUN - Sports Section
Three Wins, Two Upsets, One More Game
James McGowan

LONDON - Here in London where I'm visiting my brother and sister-in-law, there were celebrations in the streets. People waving the Starred St. Andrews, cheering, blocking the streets, wearing kits and playing pickup games in the middle of main streets, near Old Buckingham and 10 Downing, in Trafalgar Park and Hyde Park. Pubs emptied onto the streets, set up shop, and put it all on the house. Never before have the Stars come this close to winning a group since before the Isolation. And you know what? I think they can do it. After watching the game against Talmeria on the tele today, I've don't think I've seen a team this strong coming out of the Alliance in a long time.

The midfield looked absolutely astounding today. Marteen Dubeckov and Jeff Johnston controlled the wings with absolute authority. Konstaninoppolis controlled to the ball in the midfield, and served as the hub for some of the most amazing periods of attack and control that I have ever seen this team, or even another Stars team from before the Isolation. Krosti, who had been a little shaky before this tournament, found his legs and put together some great runs and moves, using his ball skill and vision to control the pace of attack. His attack in which he put the entire Talmerian line on a string for him to pull was amazing. If Krosti can pull off this play tomorrow, the Stars could really beat the Krytenians, and post their first qualifying spot in a long time.

The matchup should be intense. The Krytenians have really been rocky, losing a lot of points to teams they shouldn't be losing points to. In this game against Tynelia, they sat back too long and refused to attack. They looked like an inexperienced third or fourth cup team, rather than the battle hardened veterans we know they are. This next game will be key. If the Stars win, they clinch a qualifying spot because Turori and Krytenia play each other the next day, and nothing will be able to save either team other than a win. Only Turori would be able to win the group, and even then it would be tough, seeing as they play Tynelia, which despite their uneven play will be a threat of the highest order. A tie for the Stars would also cement a qualifying spot for the Stars, and given the momentum the Star's are soming off.

Well ladies and gentlemen, it all comes down to tomorrow at the City International Stadium in Graham City. A point, and the Stars qualify for their first since over three decades ago. To the Stars!

Bettia

09-05-2006, 11:00

The Enlightener: taking a trip on the fairytale road
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y231/bettia/FAB.jpg

Bettia's Day of Destiny

And so, after a epic trip around the world which saw our heroes play six consecutive away games, Bettia started on a home straight with a win against bottom-of-the-table Slakaj which sees them lifted into second place, the first time that they have occupied a qualifying spot during this campaign. This is courtesy of Cuation's shock draw away to already eliminated Burning Penguins.

After Matchday 12, Group 4 is still tantalisingly tight.

GROUP 4 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Squornshelous 10 7 2 1 23 8 15 23
Bettia 10 6 2 2 23 17 6 20
Cuation 10 5 4 1 22 14 8 19
5 Civ. Nations 10 4 3 3 19 19 0 16
Mr Chuck Norris 10 4 1 5 19 21 -2 13
Burning Pengs 11 2 1 8 10 22 -12 7
Slakaj 11 1 0 10 7 20 -13 3

With Bettia's win, Mr Chuck Norris are eliminated and the best Five Civilised Nations can hope for is second place, assuming they win both of their remaining matches - which of course we hope they don't as the matchday 13 schedule reveals:

Cuation vs Squornshelous
Bettia vs Five Civilised Nations
Slakaj vs Mr Chuck Norris
Burning Penguins bye

And what better place to play such a vital match than Sukatra's own Cauldron of Noise, the Al-Fath Stadium. This grand ground has seen some vital games in it's time, but perhaps none as vital as this.

And what's more, Bettians around the world will be keeping an eye on events in Cuation as they host group leaders Squornshelous. Of course, it would be nice if Cuation beat the Psychoes just so our own Aroras have a shot of topping the group... but is that really the result we want?

Normally, yes it is, but given that our final game is at home to the Squornshelans themselves, it could put us in danger of not qualifying at all regardless of tonight's result. Even a draw would still be less than ideal as Cuation would still be in with a chance of catching us thanks to their currently superior goal difference.

No, it appears that after roaring the 'Roras to a home win, all of Bettia will be crossing their fingers, toes, and anything that can be crossed without causing considerable pain, hoping for a win for Squornshelous. This result will ensure that both Bettia and Squornshelous qualify for the finals, with Squornshelous all but clinching top spot barring a total thrashing by Bettia on the last day.

So what other permutations? If Bettia draw or lose and Cuation win, then a rather obese woman could very well be limbering up ready to start a solo, and Bettia can start making plans for an assault on the Cup of Harmony. A Bettia win and a Cuation win will make this a tight three-horse finish for top spot, with one team ending up very dissappointed. A loss for both teams will make qualification even tighter because Five Civilised Nations will be back in the hunt.

Manicurists throughout the Blessed Realm are on high alert - a lot of nails will be bitten over the next couple of days.

Fixtures / Results
01: BETTIA 4-3 Cuation (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)
02: BYE
03: BETTIA 1-3 Mr Chuck Norris (Docklands Park, Porthbalfa)
04: BETTIA 3-1 Burning Penguins (Alice Street, Butetown)
05: Slakaj 0-1 BETTIA
06: Five Civilised Nations 3-3 BETTIA
07: Squornshelous 3-1 BETTIA
08: Cuation 2-2 BETTIA
09: BYE
10: Mr Chuck Norris 1-3 BETTIA
11: Burning Penguins 1-2 BETTIA
12: BETTIA 3-0 Slakaj (Shubunkin Park, Akani Sands)
13: BETTIA vs. Five Civilised Nations (Al-Fath Stadium, Sukatra)
14: BETTIA vs. Squornshelous (Stadiwm Bettia, Gabalfa)

Harlesburg

09-05-2006, 11:08

Hill Stormed
Dauna Hills 0 Harlesburg 1

Harlesburg on 13 points trails Vaum and Isma and Gaspland both on 14 with Gaspland to have the bye in the final round should be overtaken by Harlesburg assuming Georgeonia can pull off more heroics like they did in the previous Georgeonia Gaspland matchup on matchday 13.
Vaum and Isma is up against Praying2God and then Harlesburg if Vaum and Isma lose both games Harlesburg will go ahead of them but then this would leave Praying2God on at least 19 points meaning Harlesburg who can only go to a total of 19 would almost assuredly fall short as Praying2God have scored 13 goals and allowed 5 while Harlesburg have scored 11 but allowed a tragic 15, then Harlesburg have lost twice to Praying2God in this campaign and that would also count against them if things were tied up between the two teams.

Harlesburg can only hope for a Praying2God Draw with Vaum and Isma at home and a Praying2God loss to Starblaydia in their last match which one would expect to be a given.

Harlesburg looking to put the one nil loss to Georgeonia behind them travelled to Dauna Hills to try and extract a valuable and extremely important 3 points to keep them in the running for the important 2nd qualifying place.

And they did just that although by the slightest of margins winning 1-0 and the goal only came in the 78th minute after both teams had been battling each other in the midfield, attacking zone and defensive zones respectivly with a fierce encounter between each and every matched up pair and in some cases it almost came to blows, though in the world of football this is often best described as the weak chest puffing of a demented rubbish bag.

Gunther Sloane took exception to not being awarded a penalty after he was tackled from the side he thought it was worty of a dangerous tackle but the ref thought otherwise and a few shoves ensued between Sloane and the Dauna Hills defender both recieved yellow cards and Dauna Hills won the resulting toss up and cleared 40 metres down the track but Harlesburg retrieved it and the right back Rietick Callusk sent a long pass to Darkness Chubara who tapped on short to Patrici Cunescu who slipped into a gap drew two defenders and passed back to Chubara in the box who chipped the keeper.

A late goal and it turned out to be the decider with neither team making any in roads into each others stern defence and Dauna Hills certainly failing to sparkle tonight.

Bookings
Sloane 75th (HAR) Dauna Hills Right-Defence
Goals
Chubara 78th
Group 3

Starblaydia 3 Vuam and Isma 0
Praying2God 1 Gaspland 2
Dauna Hills 0 Harlesburg 1

GROUP 3 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Starblaydia 10 9 0 1 21 5 16 27
Praying2God 10 5 1 4 13 8 5 16
Gaspland 11 4 2 5 19 20 -1 14
Vuam and Isma 10 5 0 5 14 16 -2 14
Harlesburg 10 4 1 5 11 15 -4 13
Georgeonia 10 3 1 6 7 17 -10 10
Dauna Hills 11 2 3 6 13 20 -7 9

MD 1 Praying2God 3 Harlesburg 0
MD 2 Harlesburg 1 Gaspland 3
MD 3 Bye
MD 4 Harlesburg 3 Georgeonia 2
MD 5 Harlesburg 1 Dauna Hills 1
MD 6 Starblaydia 0 Harlesburg 2
MD 7 Harlesburg 0 Vuam and Isma 2
MD 8 Harlesburg 1 Praying2God 2
MD 9 Gaspland 1 Harlesburg 2
MD 10 Bye
MD 11 Georgeonia 1 Harlesburg 0
MD 12 Dauna Hills 0 Harlesburg 1
MD 13 Harlesburg Starblaydia TBP
MD 14 Vuam and Isma Harlesburg TBP

Ariddia

09-05-2006, 11:35

Ariddian dreams fade away

There was a stunned silence from Ariddian supporters in the Emperialist stadium as the whistle blew, marking the end of the match. It was the second time in a row the Rouge-et-Noirs had failed to score a goal, and lost against a team already out of contention. Above the cheers of the Emperialist fans, one Ariddian supporter was heard shouting in sheer frustration, “No! How is this even possible?”

Ariddians were not the only ones to feel the sting of unexpected defeat. Also in group 8, Spaam went down with an astonishing nil goals to three against the already eliminated Raging Penguins – a score line which doubtless brought dismay to the citizens of both countries.

Ariddia’s match was an ominous one. Key defender Yves al Jahdali, injured during training, was unable to take part, while Frédéric Clément went down hard after an unlawful tackle by an Emperialist defender, and there is some concern he may not be present for the next match. Adding humiliation to injury, the Emperialist keeper saved the ensuing superb penalty kick by Kyaw, who buried her head in her hands at the failed opportunity.

With Rejistania now in the clear, there are only two teams left in contention in this group. Ariddia is nominally still ahead, but that, some reasoned, may mean nothing at all.

“We have 19 points and Elrich has 14,” a supporter explained. “We still have to play each other, and Elrich will probably win that. So they’ll have 17, and us 19. Now, the tricky thing is, their other match is against an eliminated team, so they should win it easily. Ours is against Rejistania, and that’s a definite loss. Elrich will finish with 20 points to our 19. It’s already more or less over.”

He added with a sigh, “If we’d won today, here against the Emperialists, we’d have qualified. With 22 points, we’d have been out of reach.”

Such – Ariddian fans will be left musing bitterly – are the changing fortunes of football.

The Islands of Qutar

09-05-2006, 11:42

Reserved for Matchday 1 RP

Have Lectures to go to, but it will be done

The Islands of Qutar

09-05-2006, 11:42

Reserved for Matchday 2 RP

Have Lectures to go to, but it will be done

The Islands of Qutar

09-05-2006, 11:43

Reserved for Matchday 3 RP

Have Lectures to go to, but it will be done

The Islands of Qutar

09-05-2006, 11:44

Reserved for Matchday 4 RP

Have Lectures to go to, but it will be done

The Islands of Qutar

09-05-2006, 11:46

Reserved for Matchday 5 RP

Have Lectures to go to, but it will be done

The Islands of Qutar

09-05-2006, 11:46

Reserved for Matchday 6 RP

Have Lectures to go to, but it will be done

Jeruselem

09-05-2006, 12:34

* Weird theme song *

Rachel "Good morning, this is Rachel Goldstein for JGN at the World Cup 28. Well, losing games is bad but losing them so late is worse. Today Jeruselem lost to Becquerelia zero one. Becquerelia won the day with three golden points and Jeruselem wasted a chance to get ahead while it can. For Becquerelia it was good news and they are now just two points behind Jeruselem. What does this mean, the games against Kericia and the Sea Dragons will be rather important. Losing both is real possibility as Kericia has been beaten Jeruselem and the Sea Dragons just look on form right now. If we do beat Kericia, then we would be on 23 points. That would make things rather hard to anyone else except for the Sea Dragons."

<pause>

"The Sea Dragons now top Group 7, they played Philthealbino who expected won. Their three one win puts them in vogue to make the first qualifying spot, and secure it if they win the next game. They lead by one point and really they should make the next round from here really, pending any disasters."

"Kericia punched out Rorysville three one. Rorysville are out because of this loss and Kericia move to 4th, only 1 win behind Jeruselem. Rorysville are still two wins behind Jeruselem and well, the loss really did hurt worse than Jeruselem's loss. Boudra-Boudra had the bye and guess what? That knocked them out of the World Cup. The most painful bye of them all"

<sneezes>

"All in all, Jeruselem need one win or two to keep these contenders at bay. Three teams want their spot while realistically only two are there. The Sea Dragons are not safe either, so they cannot relax all the same."

"In other games, Hockey Canada lost it's first game! Haraki beat them three two but Hockey Canada can relax - Jeruselem cannot. Now to the Lions. Nedalia scored a crucial two one win over Canabinol to hold 2nd while rivals Chicanada were frustrated by the draw with Blitzwehr two all. Nedalia are one win ahead of Chicanada, and surely one more win can help the Lions qualify once more but Chicanada cannot be written off at all. Oh, the insane team lost but they cannot lose top spot anyway."

"Do not miss Nedalia's and Jeruselem's last two games. We need the support of loyal Lions and Crusader supporters to help the teams out. We want to join Hockey Canada in the group stage - it's all on the line. It's do or die. No in-between here. The World Cup, who needs those soppy soap operas when you can have it all at the soccer!"

Giant Zucchini

09-05-2006, 15:46

Dear diary,

I can't believe we're still in this...well I guess the results have started to go our way with the top 2 dropping points...but we're still doing ourselves no favours at all...especially with all these injuries...I mean no disrespect to Lisburn Mateys, but we really should be winning against sides like them, I mean if we did we'd definitely be applying more pressure on the top 2 than we are now...that said, it's nice to finally see Carragher get off the mark...he's been receiving a lot of flak lately and it's great that he finally gets the goals he deserve...then again we're moving into a crucial part of the season...it's about time the team bucks up and shows the world what it's made of.

D

Rordia

09-05-2006, 16:07

RORDIA - DESTINATION NMS
Part 11: It's All(Most) Over

Rordia can forget about qualifying for the World Cup. A drab 1-1 draw at Narbithia means that they are five points behind Hypocria with two games to play.
Narbithia scored after just nine minutes before Adam Hartnell hit an equaliser for the Rordians ten minutes later. Hartnell then ruined his good work by getting sent off in the 54th minute for diving. It was his second red card of the qualifying campaign.
Rordia boss Neil van der Wal blasted: "****, ****, ****, ****! We ****ed it ****ing up out ****ing there. ****! We ****ing played like ****ing ****! We were ****. Now **** off!"
This means that we must now beat Bedistan to have ANY chance of qualifying for the World Cup. We beat them 2-0 on their own turf last time. This time, Rordic City is the setting - will the opponents we defeated in our finest hour knock us out of the tournament?

LINE-UP: O'Leary; Craig, Robertson, Harrold, Khan; Mirren, Vance (Badger), van der Wal (Farrell), Parkinson; Brick, Hartnell. Booked: Khan, Parkinson. Sent off: Hartnell.

OTHER RESULTS:
Bedistan 1 Anathematic Republics 0
Hypocria 3 Virginia Nova 1

BONAREV GETS HIS WISH!
Aleks Bonarev has been granted Rordian citizenship, therefore enabling him to play for the Rordia national team.
The Rordian FA have given in after Bonarev handed in an 11,000-name petition. They initially ruled that he could not play for Rordia, as he was not a natural Rordian.
The defender was said to be ecstatic after getting his wish. He was unavailable for comment, as he was busy telling his home country to "go eff themselves".
He will make his Rordia debut against Bedistan in the next round.

GOOD NEWS FOR MONAGHAN
The leg flu injection is clearly working.
Rordia striker Freddie Monaghan had the jab to help recover from his broken leg, and now he'll be back in action earlier than expected. He is set to make his return for the Rordians against Bedistan in the next game. If it wasn't for the injection, he would have been forced to watch the game at home.
Monaghan said: "This is a massive boost for me and my country. Hopefully, I can get the goals that will keep us in contention."

Tadjikistan

09-05-2006, 16:12

Tigers consolidate first place!

Dushanbe - They were already certain of their qualification, but the Tigers had to make up for their first round, which was mediocre for them. The only way to make the fans forget about those results was by consolidating the first position in their group. The opportunity to do that camee today, against the Apologetic Kittens in Dushanbe.

The Kittens have only 8 points from 2 wins and 2 draws, they are already eliminated. But that did not mean they'd be an easy prey. The 70th ranked Kittens too wanted to get some points in order to maintain a high place in the KPB ranking list. Tadjikistan wasnt exactly the best opponent to do it against, but with the limited amount of matches left, they had to try it.

A highly motivated Tadjik team was first to steal the show and take an early lead trough a well coordinated attack by Saradov, Zyrianov and Elisarov. Ronnie "Wets the bed" Weeter, probably an interesting character, was unable to stop Saradovs shot.
The Apologetic Kittens were quick to equalize and wake up the Tadjik side, taking advantage of their overconfident attitude. Dewey Gronko gave the Kitten fans hope, they believed their team could go home with a win over the groups strongest side, something that no other team had been able to do so far.
The Tadjiks however, had already heard their coach say it a thousand times; 'Tadjikistan must win this match.' If it wasnt their motivation then surely their coach's words made the Tigers search for an opening in the Kitten lines. They had to wait til the last fifteen minutes, when Tulberdiev found it and ended the match with 2-1.

Though the difference was small, it was the result that counted for Zaev 'With Spruitlands draw against Northern Ceasarea, we strengthened our position. And eventhough we're now facing Pastorville and later our main rivals Spruitland, there's not much we should worry about, both Pastorville and Spruitland have to win to secure their ticket to the World Cup and I believe we should use that to our advantage. Let them come, we'll just wait until they make a mistake... and with teams in a position like these, there will be mistakes.'

Tadjikistan 10 7 3 0 21 4 17 24
Spruitland 10 5 5 0 16 5 11 20
Pastorville 10 4 2 4 11 16 -5 14
N. Caesarea 11 2 6 3 9 13 -4 12
Radke 11 3 2 6 12 21 -9 11
Atheistic Right 10 2 2 6 9 13 -4 8
Apo. Kittens 9 2 2 5 7 12 -5 8

MD1: Bye
MD2: Atheistic Right - Tadjikistan D 0-0
MD3: Tadjikistan - Radke W 4-2
MD4: N. Ceasarea - Tadjikistan D 1-1
MD5: Apo. Kittens - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD6: Tadjikistan - Pastorville W 4-0
MD7: Tadjikistan - Spruitland D 0-0
MD8: Bye
MD9: Tadjikistan - Atheistic Right W 2-0
MD10: Radke - Tadjikistan W 0-3
MD11: Tadjikistan - N. Ceasarea W 3-0
MD12: Tadjikistan - Apo. Kittens W 2-1
MD13: Pastorville - Tadjikistan
MD14: Spruitland - Tadjikistan

Tadjik Goalscorers:
Saradov - 7
Zyrianov - 5
Tulberdiev - 5
Elisarov - 2
Kirponos - 1
Maximov - 1

Vuam and Isma

09-05-2006, 16:54

Gazetta de'Esporte

Footballing lesson part 2.
Starblaydia - 3 (Rage 38, Kouvas 59, Valdez 85)
Vuam and Isma - 0

V&I's national side was taught a trick or two by Starblaydia, who are now assured to finish top of the group.

However, Starblaydia only truly outclassed V&I when it came to tactical and strategic ability. Both sides managed to be a match for each other as far as ball posession went, as the balance ended up 52-48% in favour of Starblaydia. Of course, as expected, V&I were more conservative with the ball, having 68% of their ball posession in their own half, against Starblaydia's little 27% of their ball posession in their half.

The match started in full blow, as expected when the team that's first in the group meets the third side. Starblaydia knew that a win at home would make them group winners, and V&I knew that anything but defeat would substantially increase not only morale, but also qualification hopes.

Starblaydia had the first clean chance of the game, as Dasha Tolkacheva used all her speed to catch a long pass that Keifner had headed over the V&I back four, but her shot whistled wide of the post.

After 30 minutes, Starblaydia fans begun to whistle at their team's apparent inability to create chances, as dispite having spent 79% of the time in V&I's half, they had only had 2 shots, both off-target. Hearing this, Keifner and Blanc quickly exchanged words, and Keifner dropped to a midfield role, leaving Tolkacheva alone up front.

However, his presence in midfield was not quite what was expected, as only three minutes later, he held on to O'Driscoll's shirt, and was shown the yellow card for his enthusiasm. O'Driscoll took the free-kick quickly, firing the ball upfield to Fitzsimons. Fitzsimons neatly controlled the ball, and managed to squeeze past Rakkinen's tackle. In his newly found space, he lined up his shot and brought the whole 85,000 fans in the Iota "Big Eye" Arena to their feet as his 35-yard blast rocketed past Bedford's outstreched arms... but also beyond the post.

As Azanulbizarn made runic gestures to bring new life to his team, punctuating his moves with alarmed shouts at Blanc and angry snarls at Keifner, Starblaydia regained their posession over the match, moving the ball from wing to wing, forth and back.

Rage is well known for one thing : his powerful shot. And when he spotted a crack in V&I's defence, he didn't hesitate to take his side's third shot of the match. His 25-yard shot left O'Connor standing as the ball nestled just inside the post, sending 70,000 Starblaydians into raptures, and leaving 10,000 V&I fans wondering if this was the end, or if it was just the start of the flood.

V&I managed to hold firm until the break, and dispite staying in their own half, our players were on talking terms with the Starblaydians, using their close marking to keep their opponent's technical superiority ineffectual, and reducing their freedom of play.

As both sides left the tunnel, V&I's joint managers Scarab and Johann Fischmann were able to exchange a few words with famed manager Khim Azanulbizarn, who is thought by many football enthusiasts to be at the forefront of modern football, with innovative choices and brave decisions that often pay off.

The on-pitch business between the two sides didn't get any better, though. As V&I stayed deep to break up every attack by Starblaydia, Starblaydia piled the pressure on, but were made to wait out each shot. With an attack force that was seeming increasingly able to dislocate their more defensive opponent's gameplan, Starblaydia relied on patience to score, and their training payed off as Kouvas bagged a goal with a strong header from a Blanc free-kick.

2-0 ahead, and the game mostly over, Azanulbaizarn brought a true living ledgend onto the pitch, as Oberlander took to the pitch to replace Almeida after Almeida recieved a yellow card in a strong challenge that brought Marc down. Oberlander's experience was a massive advantage for the last 15 minutes, as Starblaydia seemed to play with more confidence the second he trod inside the playing area.

Oberlander's fitness allowed him to push forwards, and as he surged towards the by-line to cross the ball in for Keifner, Regragui's tackle sent the ball out of the field, awarding Starblaydia with a corner kick only 5 minutes from the final whistle. Oberlander shooed Noble towards the penalty area, setting up the ball and getting ready to shoot. The ball was a great inswinging corner, that was just too far for O'Connor to go out and get it, right on Valdez's head. Valdez's header went straight to the back of the net, and sealed V&I's fate in Starblaydia : 3-0, 1 goal in open play, and 2 off set-pieces.

As Starblaydia took a lap of honour to celebrate winning the group, V&I headed to the tunnel, and were saluted by Azanulbaizarn and Evans for their brave performance, as they commented after the match that Starblaydia had "not played well enough to merit the 3-0 scoreline", and that "Vuam and Isma showed some very good defending". Scarab thought on the contrary that "V&I were lucky to only concede 3, as the scoreline should have been 4 or 5-0".

Gazetta de'Esporte

Department of Useless Statistics and Boring Figures.

Well, only 2 MDs from the end of the qualifying round, who is playing the best football, who is playing the worse football, and who's in the middle?

TEAM P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Audioslavia 10 9 0 1 24 6 18 27
TnUI 10 9 0 1 25 8 17 27
Starblaydia 10 9 0 1 21 5 16 27
Rejistania 10 8 2 0 19 3 16 26
Tadjikistan 10 7 3 0 21 4 17 24
Sarzonia 10 7 3 0 21 7 14 24
Casari 10 8 0 2 18 7 11 24
Squornshelous 10 7 2 1 23 8 15 23
Hockey Canada 10 7 2 1 17 6 11 23
Com. Heights 10 7 1 2 22 8 14 22
Fmjphoenix 10 7 1 2 18 5 13 22
Bedistan 10 7 1 2 19 7 12 22
Oliverry 10 7 3 0 17 7 10 21
ASMV 10 7 0 3 15 9 6 21
The Macabees 10 7 0 3 12 8 4 21
Liv. England 10 6 2 2 21 9 12 20
Spruitland 10 5 5 0 16 5 11 20
Jeruselem 10 6 2 2 15 7 8 20
Bettia 10 6 2 2 23 17 6 20
Nedalia 10 6 2 2 19 14 5 20
Cataduanes 10 6 1 3 19 9 10 19
Cuation 10 5 4 1 22 14 8 19
Milchama 10 6 1 3 21 14 7 19
Hypocria 10 6 1 3 24 18 6 19
Ariddia 10 6 1 3 17 12 5 19
Turori 10 6 1 3 14 9 5 19
Lowland Clans 10 6 1 3 14 11 3 19
Krytenia 10 5 3 2 14 8 6 18
Becquerelia 10 6 0 4 15 11 4 18
Kaze Progressa 10 5 3 2 13 10 3 18
D2R 10 5 3 2 18 16 2 18
Tinsuvilia 11 6 0 5 19 17 -2 18
Chicanada 10 5 2 3 19 13 6 17
Kericia 10 5 2 3 16 10 6 17
Isls of Qutar 10 5 3 2 10 6 4 17
Haraki 10 5 2 3 17 16 1 17
Praying2God 10 5 1 4 13 8 5 16
Qazox 10 5 1 4 14 10 4 16
Bazalonia 10 5 1 4 16 14 2 16
Kirstiriera 10 5 1 4 16 14 2 16
Yafor 2 10 4 4 2 15 13 2 16
Wentland 10 4 3 3 19 13 6 15
Giant Zucchini 10 4 3 3 14 11 3 15
Vuam and Isma 10 5 0 5 14 16 -2 15
Legalese 10 4 3 3 8 10 -2 15
Schiavonia 10 4 2 4 24 19 5 14
Rordia 10 3 4 3 13 11 2 14
5 Civ. Nations 10 4 3 3 19 19 0 14
Gaspland 11 4 2 5 19 20 -1 14
Vejar 11 3 5 3 18 20 -2 14
Rorysville 11 4 2 5 16 18 -2 14
Geisenfried 11 4 2 5 8 12 -4 14
Pastorville 10 4 2 4 11 16 -5 14
Elrich 10 4 2 4 7 12 -5 14
McPsychoville 10 4 2 4 18 21 -7 14
Vilita 10 4 1 5 17 15 2 13
Kazoo Peoples 10 3 4 3 12 10 2 13
Narbithia 11 3 4 4 17 18 -1 13
Lisburn Mateys 11 3 4 4 16 17 -1 13
Anthm. Reps. 10 2 7 1 9 10 -1 13
Tynelia 10 4 1 5 6 7 -1 13
Mr Chuck Norris 10 4 1 5 19 21 -2 13
Boudra-Boudra 10 4 1 5 11 15 -4 13
Harlesburg 10 4 1 5 11 15 -4 13
Spm. Piljous 10 3 3 4 11 10 1 12
N. Caesarea 11 2 6 3 9 13 -4 12
Rosberg 11 3 3 5 14 20 -6 12
Molvania 11 4 0 7 8 19 -11 12
Collonie 10 3 2 5 11 14 -3 11
Raging Penguins 11 3 2 6 8 11 -3 11
Oglethorpia 10 3 2 5 12 16 -4 11
CR 'scopes 10 3 2 5 14 20 -6 11
Magnus Valerius 10 3 2 5 12 20 -8 11
Radke 11 3 2 6 12 21 -9 11
Algal States 10 2 4 4 7 9 -2 10
N. Angleterre 10 2 4 4 12 15 -3 10
Spaam 10 2 4 4 9 12 -3 10
Dorian&Sonya 10 3 1 6 12 18 -6 10
Swilatia 10 2 4 4 11 17 -6 10
Blitzwehr 11 3 2 6 15 22 -7 10
Georgeonia 10 3 1 6 7 17 -10 10
AIF 11 2 3 6 12 18 -6 9
Anastasiania 10 2 3 5 10 16 -6 9
Dauna Hills 11 2 3 6 13 20 -7 9
New-Lexington 11 2 3 6 9 17 -8 9
St. Happenin 11 2 3 6 7 22 -15 9
Atheistic Right 10 2 2 6 9 13 -4 8
Apo. Kittens 9 2 2 5 7 12 -5 8
Emperor Pudu 10 2 2 6 13 19 -6 8
Zorinia 11 2 2 6 9 15 -6 8
Homieville 11 1 5 5 11 18 -7 8
Talmeria 11 2 2 7 5 12 -7 8
Remote Islands 11 2 2 7 7 16 -9 8
The Emperialist 11 2 2 7 7 18 -11 8
Virginia Nova 11 2 2 7 11 23 -12 8
Canabinol 11 2 2 7 9 22 -13 8
Nebuleux 10 1 4 5 9 17 -8 7
Burning Pengs 10 2 1 7 10 22 -12 7
Khenas 11 2 1 7 10 22 -12 7
Iksonic 11 2 1 8 9 16 -17 7
Nanakaland 10 2 0 8 7 19 -12 6
Kelse 10 2 2 6 12 18 -6 5
Alberthame 11 1 2 8 8 16 -8 5
Slakaj 10 1 0 8 7 20 -13 3
Philthealbino 11 0 1 9 4 22 -18 1

Best Goal Average : Audioslavia +18
Worst Goal Average : Philthealbino -18
Most Goals Scored : Total n Utter Insanity 25
Most Goals Conceded : Virginia Nova 23
Fewest Goals Scored : Philthealbino 4
Fewest Goals Conceded : Rejistania 3
Most Wins : Audioslavia, Total n Utter Insanity, Starbladia 9
Fewest Wins : Philthealbino 0
Most Draws : Anathemic Republics 7
Fewest Draws : Slakaj, Nanakaland, Molvania, Vuam and Isma, Tinusvilia, Becquerelia, The Macabees, Andossa Se Mirtin Vega, Casari, Starblaydia, Total n Utter Insanity, Audioslavia 0
Most Defeats : Philthealbino 9
Fewest Defeats : Spruitland, Oliverrey, Sarzonia, Tajikistan, Rejistania 0

And that's all for now!

Tynelia

09-05-2006, 17:06

HUH?

Tynelian soccer experts have officially thrown up their hands in despair and admitted that they have no clue what the Tynelian team will do. For the fifth straight match Tynelia was involved in a 1-0 game. The shocking part is that Tynelia was the team with the 1 this time. After being swept by the three teams ranked below them, people are wondering just how exactly they managed to defeat the top seeded Krytenian team. Some have speculated that the Tynelian team is trapped in Bizarro world where the lower ranked teams are actually higher and the higher ones are lower. This might bode well if true as Tynelia continues to cling by its fingernails a chance at qualifying.

Vladimar Malloy made a succesful debut in this World Cup tossinbg up a shutout and the lineup changes seemed to pay off as the reserves showed a bit more fire in an efort to keep more playing time. Coach Marcus O'Meara said afterwards that if it ain;t broke don;t fix it and will use the same lineup again against Turori. The lone goal was unsurprisingly scored by Jay Masterson.

Ironically it was Geisenfried's upset over Turori that keeps Tynelia alive though some were upset that the unranked Geisenfried squad is still ahead of Tynelia. But if Turori had won that would have put them at an unreachable 22 points and with Krytenia and the Clans still to play each other there would have been no way for Tynelia to catch any of them. In this case a Krytenia win would put them at 21 and even a draw would have put them at 19 with a +7 goal differential edge and with only 1 hypothetical loss (to Turori) in the mix there would be no way to make up that kind of difference. However with two matches left Tynelia's hopes have gone from microscopic to tiny.

In a sense Krytenia and Tynelia are now best friends as far as the last two matches go. Krytenia needs Tynelia to win one of their remaining two matches or else Krytenia will be forced to win out against Turori and the Clans to advance. Tynelia needs to have Krytenia win out, by a large margin while winning their last two matches themselves by at least a couple of goals and hope its enough to make up the current goal differnential. This is the only scenario where Tynelia gets in, a three way tie with Turori and the Clans who both lose out to finish group play with Krytenia taking the top spot. Any point for either Turori or the Clans in these last two matches eliminates Tynelia as would anything less than 2 wins for Tynelia.

In a related story, Coach Greg Tudor has been reportedly doing fine and has been itching to get back on the field and rally the team in these final two matches.

Northern Caesarea

09-05-2006, 17:36

Spruitland 1 Northern Caesarea 1

12. Molina ****

18.Valera **
21. Perea *****
15. Molinero ***** => 14. Vizcaíno (m.74)
22. Ibañez ***** => 2. Ferrer (m. 68)

24. Novo **
10. Zahínos 0
8. Ibagaza ***
6. Colsa ***

19. Castelar 0 => 7. Narváez (m.64)
9. Torres ****

Booked: Yellow, Perea

Northern Caesarea, already out of WC28, was very relaxed in its match against Spruitland, which is playing for its classification.

The Wabbits were anxious to put their stamp on their passport for World cup and that made them to commit important mistakes, like the one which drove to the Northern Caesarean goal. Goalie Simon Briers was trying to kick off after a pass by Opdebeeck, when a ubiquous Torres stole him the ball and scored walking until the goal (m. 31).

The tricolores defense made a wonderful match, with young Molina playing sometimes as a fifth defender, avoiding dangerous approximations by Provoost or Jools.

Just after the mid-time rest, Perea made a bad tackle to Wilander, which gave him the yellow card. In the free-kick, Donck scored the Spruitland goal.

The second period didn't have too much history. National team coach, Paco Antequera, made some changes, to try players at different positions.

Likely team for match against Atheistic Right

12. Molina

2. Ferrer
21. Perea
15. Molinero
22. Ibañez

13. Caminero
14. Vizcaíno
8. Ibagaza
6. Colsa

7. Narváez
9. Torres

Legalese

09-05-2006, 17:43

Chancellor Kalvin Robinson opened the door, welcoming in the LAFF representative, Hal Mitchell. They shook hands, as the Chancellor gestured Mitchell to the chair in front of his desk. "It's been a long time, Hal!" beamed the Chancellor. "How are our boys doing in the cup?"

Hal responded slightly nervously. "It's been a rough go so far. With a few matches left, we'll need a little help to get it. It looks like it'll be between us, Qazox, and the Islands of Qutar for the final spot."

Robinson frowned. "I see. What will this make, the third straight cup we might miss out on?"

Hal nodded, "That's right sir, and the people are getting restless. This does not look good for soccer in Legalese. Interest is at an all time low."

The Chancellor stood. "All right, if there's anything I can do, let me know. Be sure to remind those boys who they're playing for, and wish them the best."

"I will, sir. Thanks for the meeting." Hal took that moment to exit the room, leaving the Chancellor to browse the latest report in from the Legalese UN Delegate, Vanessa Cappaverde.

Three words made him stop and think for a moment, before a smile came across his face. Maybe there was a way he could help the team...

Within minutes, the Chancellor was on the phone with Cappaverde. "Good morning, Chancellor," greeted the warm voice on the other end. "How can I help you today?"

"Hi there Vanessa. How familiar are you with the World Heritage List?"

"It's a topic of discussion, actually. There are some nations around here who wish to remove it from the books. It allows any UN member to put a site on the list, and protect it from any enviromentally damaging activity."

"Like an international soccer match, perhaps?"

There was a pause on the other end.

"Uh, sir... what exactly would you like me to do?"

Robinson told her.

"Alright, I'll go add it now. I'll send you a copy of the list as soon as it's done."

The Chancellor thanked the delegate, before hanging up the phone.

Three hours later, his secretary entered.

"Mr. Chancellor, I've a letter from the UN office for you."

The Chancellor eagerly opened it up, scanning the World Heritage List, until he found what he was looking for at the bottom:

# All fields acceptable for the playing of soccer in Qazox
# All fields acceptable for the playing of soccer in The Islands of Qutar

"Excellent!" The Chancellor exclaimed, before making another request to his subordinate: "Please call the lawyers, and get them in here as quickly as possible. Looks like we have some Cease-and-desist orders to send out."

Cataduanes

09-05-2006, 17:45

Highs and Lows

The islanders have lost the initiative by falling to New Lexington away 1-0, while the Vikings brushed Bazalonia aside 3-0 to move to the top of group 12, THis has left the Islanders in second place with Bazalonia breathing down there necks in third. Wentland got a point to stay in touch.

The Islanders match against New Lexington was characterised by the home side sucessfully utilizing the tactics St Happenin used to defeat Cataduanes on MD 9, its net effect was the blunting of the pacy and tricky Cataduanes attack, who despite overwhelming possesion of the ball could not convert this into real chances. In the second half the confidence of the home side was being manifested in the numerous counter attack breaks they attempted and it was via this tactic that the only goal of the match came in the 78th minute. The home side had to weather the furious Islanders attacks for the remainder of the match. The Islanders looked dejected by these turn of events as they left the field at full time, ''what can i say we have squandered our chances to many times, we really need to focus otherwise we could be out'' was coach Manua's grim warning to his own squad, indeed the high's of the early matches is gone replaced by nervousness and doubt and it could not come at a worse time with FMJ Phoenix due to visit in the next fixture, a game the Islander's could well lose followed by the away game for the final fixture at Bazalonia also a tough match and seeing as the Islanders failure to pull there socks up we are going to have to pray for the almighty to do something.

Fmjphoenix 3 Bazalonia 0
Wentland 1 St. Happenin 1
New-Lexington 1 Cataduanes 0

GROUP 12 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Fmjphoenix 10 7 1 2 18 5 13 22
Cataduanes 10 6 1 3 19 9 10 19
Bazalonia 10 5 1 4 16 14 2 16
Wentland 10 4 3 3 19 13 6 15
Magnus Valerius 10 3 2 5 12 20 -8 11
New-Lexington 11 2 3 6 9 17 -8 9
St. Happenin 11 2 3 6 7 22 -15 9

Cuation

09-05-2006, 20:16

Cuation Face Elimination!

With two games left, Cuation face failing and going to the CoH again. It is hard to say that Bettia deserve qualification, we would say Chuck Norris didn't deserve to fall away so early and we deserve to take it to the last game. Our next match being against Squornshelous ends any hope and the match against FCN seems meaningless now.

Hargreves has hardly covered himself with glory but Tanner, Rual Mendiz and Gary Jens deserve better after playing so well throughout. Then again Gary Jens has proved himself brilliant in the top matches but has suffered against some of the lesser teams, 2 conceded against FCN and out of position against BP.

We have been unable to beat Bettia, chances are we won't be able to beat Squornshelousso have not done too well against the big teams so far in term of results. Otherwise fine performances have been undermined by draws with FCV and BP. 22nd best record in the world for this qualfiers but sadly, we are unlucky enough to face a fine Bettia and Squornshelous side.

Thinking about it, we do deserve to go through but not in this group, Bettia have been better then us.

Slakaj Fail Keane Test

Pual Keane had a good day at the office, scoring twice after a plucky display by Slakaj managed to keep the scores level in the first half. The reserves played though Hargreves started to regain match fitness. Giovanni fell back into midfield but overall found little room. Ashton's 30 yarder that flew wide was the only half chance in the first half.

Having defended so well, it seems hard that they one time they ventured forward cost Slakaj. Jose claimed the cross and threw it out for Butcher. Dashing forward, he hit a sixty yard searching ball to where Anderton was. Controlling the ball well, he flicked it back to Giovanni. With the home team rushing back to stop the counter attack, Giovanni played the ball through to Keane who hit it first time into the top corner. 1-0 up after 53 mins.

Soon the game was over as the defence tightened up, Cuation where restricted to hit and hope efforts. Ashton has made a reputation from doing so and his volley from outside the box hit the post, the rebound falling to Keane. With an open goal, he couldn't miss and grabbed his fourth goal of the cup. The match fizzled out as the Cuation players preserved themselves for future games

Cuation rest

The players worked on the fitness so they did not become tired near the end of the run in. Tanner looked fit but was told he would only be on the bench against the Fighting Norris

Rual Finishes Off Fighting Norris

We don't want to cause an argument but while CNN are good, they seem to not understand the Cuation tactics employed. Cuation's attacking nature was due to being able to exploit space out wide and Giovanni able to find space between defence and midfield in those 36 minutes. Our defence had trouble as Jamie Hargreves is not match fit and 5-4 is always going to give the attackers the advantage.

At 3-2 up, Giovanni was struggling so he came off for Anderton, Milnar going into the centre and the formation changed to 5-4-1. Rual struggled alone up front so the Fighting Norris had more time to play but found Gary Jens and the defence in form. That isn't ultra defensive but our normal game when under pressure. Anyway to the match:

Both sides had early chances, Minlar sneaking onto Ashton's cross but his header flashed wide while The Burger King burst clear of Yan but was unable to keep his shot down. On the 11th minute, Rual Mendiz drew a foul from Karvo on the right. Giovanni curled in the free kick to the far post where Rio Samba met it, his header forcing a great reaction save from Mr. Bednarik but the ball fell to Rual to make it 1-0

In the 17th minute, a long ball forward from Mr Music saw Butcher and Hargreves collide. Fedo had gambled on such a result and was now clear on goal. Facing the looming figure of Gary Jens, the young striker showed composure as he slotted it just inside the far post.

23rd minute and Cuation took the lead again from their hotshot striker. When Asthon burst forward and played the ball to Rual on the half way line, there seemed little danger. Well it wouldn't be if there where more then two defenders, Rual outpacing Hovest then dancing past music. From distance, he attempted a curler to the far post. Catching the keeper somewhat by surprise, the bull curled in off the post, leaving Rual to milk the applause of the fans.

29th minute saw another equaliser, Boitano crossing to the far post where OJ Pimpson controlled the ball, Hargreves threw himself to block at the same time so ended up giving the striker too much room. Normally such a position would be too inviting but this time, Gary Jens was able to save with his leg. Out of position when the rebound fell to Fedo he wasn't able to dive back to cover his near post. 2-2

The final goal of the game came from Cuation's hatrick hero. Giovanni danced his way into the box, attempting to get past music but spotted Rual so chipped the ball to Rual's feet just outside the box. Rual flicked the ball up with his foot and then lobbed Mr. Bednarik with an exquisite volley.

Giovanni was suffering from a dead leg and was replaced by Anderton, the formation changing to a 5-4-1, Rio Samba dropping back into defence. The Fighting Norris poured forward but without talisman Chuck Norris, they couldn't find a vital goal as Gary Jens made many saves.

Cheese and Tanner would make substitute appearances, Tanner and Rual getting a standing ovation as they swapped places while Cheese made a brilliant block to stop Fedo scoring a hatrick when Gary Jens spilled a cross.

Scorers for Cuation
Mendiz: 7
Giovanni: 1
Tanner: 1
Keane: 4
Ashton: 1
Milnar: 1
Ferguson: 1
Anderton: 2
Cheese: 1

Raging Penguins

09-05-2006, 22:06

The Troglodytia Tribune

Perhaps we spoke too soon...

The Team hasn't settled back into its old habit of losing, losing, and losing again. The Team played Spaam, and won. In their previous game against the dreaded Spaamanians, The Team had managed to force a draw, using violence for almost only defense. This time, playing in the Spaamanian homeland of Spaam, they played almost entirely without violence. The game was horrible, The Team playing football to the best of their ability - and their ability pool is small and dirty - and the Spaamanian's playing slowly and sluggishly. Indeed, we have many suspicions about the slow, unenthusiastic movements of the losing team, especially the bit where the Spaamanian Keeper, Feoca Arthur fell over asleep, and couldn't be roused from his slumber.

We suspect Devious Penguin, in the kitchen, with the sleeping pills.

After the completion of the game, hundreds of angry, taxpaying citizens stormed the offices of the Department for Criminal Management, demanding to know why they hadn't put an end to this foolishness before The Team had beaten Spaam.
A spokesman for President Tuks said that the President was unavailable for comment, after his psychiatrist had diagnosied him with Temporary Incomprehensibility, on account of being "purple with barely suppressed, internal anger, which he is keeping under contraaaarghhleggo'mythroat-".

We can only speculate what will happen when The Team arrives back in our fairly unpleasent country, and the angry mobs of the taxpaying classes turn on them instead.

Krytenia

09-05-2006, 22:06

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png
Catch-Up
by Rami Niblick in Graham City

Let's get the lowdown on what happened since last time you saw us; just before the game against Tynelia.

TYNELIA - 0
KRYTENIA - 2

Krytenia proved too strong for a spirited Tynelian side; Jaffacake-Phillips and sub Gabriel Kennedy scoring in each half to sink the home side and give Krytenia a ten point lead at the top of the group.

KRYTENIA - 2
THE LOWLAND CLANS -1

The Clans couldn't keep up the challenge in a thriller in Everton City; Marlon Friday grabbed the crucial winner in a nailbiter, after Quinnell had cancelled out the Clans' opener.

KRYTENIA - 2
TURORI - 3

A brace from JJP was not enough to stop the Aces from falling to their first defeat; Krytenia did, however, retain a three-point lead at the top of group.

KRYTENIA - 0
ALGAL STATES - 0

More Algal misery for Krytenia as they record a second nil-nil in the return against the States. The lead is now a precarious single point.
TALMERIA - 1
KRYTENIA - 2
A tricky away win, but an away win nonetheless. JJP (again) and Marlon Friday spared the Aces' blushes.

KRYTENIA - 2
GEISENFRIED - 2

The Aces donned their away shirts for the first time in this home match - and wished they hadn't. the two lost points saw Krytenia off the top spot and into second place. Josh Quinnell scored both for the Aces.

KRYTENIA - 0
TYNELIA - 1

And so, here we are. Third in the group and staring elimination in the face. A loss against the Clans in their next game could eliminate the Aces if results go against them; victory, and destiny is in their own hands once again.

TOURNAMENT SCORERS
J. Quinnell - 6
J. Jaffacake-Phillips - 5
M. Friday - 2
G. Kennedy - 1
Tejai - 1

QUALIFYING SCHEDULE
MD1: NO FIXTURE
MD2: A v ALG D 0-0
MD3: A v TLM W 3-1
MD4: A v GEI W 2-0
MD5: A v TYN W 2-0
MD6: H v TLC W 2-1 (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD7: H v TUR L 2-3 (New City Stadium, Avidia)
MD8: NO FIXTURE
MD9: H v ALG D 0-0 (The Mound, Secklow)
MD10: H v TLM W 2-1 (ArenaWest, Aigburth)
MD11: H v GEI D 2-2 (Denbigh Park, Ousevale)
MD12: H v TYN L 0-1 (Mellion Lane, Davisham)
MD13: A v TLC ?????
MD14: A v TUR ?????

Wentland

09-05-2006, 22:20

Two matches to go and the only hope the Swifts had was to win both matches and hope Cataduanes would not win one. A forlorn hope.

The only light relief had come following the St Happenin match, when referee Robbie Williams from Burslime was lynched by a mob of sixteen thousand people, skinned alive, dipped into a vat of salt, castrated with a rusty spoon, sat on a pointed stick and staked out for killer marching ants to suck the blood out of his body over a thousand year period whilst vultures pecked out his liver. At least that is what people hoped would happen following the positively criminal refereeing. Instead they had to rely on a polite letter to the organizers querying whether he was mentally normal.

As it was the PA announcer at the Sir Kenneth Kendall Stadium had a sense of humour. As the teams were preparing in the tunnel to emerge, the Death March was played as Edgar Bluff made his way to the bench. In truth the Wents had a lot of sympathy for Bluff, he seemed to have suffered more than most from appalling refereeing and other luck, but the consensus was he had toiled long enough and was now on his way out.

His third World Cup had been a disaster. Second seed but currently a poor fourth. A draw against a team that did not turn up. How could that happen?

Krytenia

09-05-2006, 22:27

You might be an Aces fan if:

...the only time you expect clean sheets are before you spray-paint slogans from them and hang them from the stands at the Isserson.

...you think “karela” is a pain in the arse.

...you have a pathological fear of Sarzonian jerseys.

...you’re surprised when opposing fans expect their backs to do something besides going forward for set pieces.

...you think all Audioslavians have Tourette's.

...you’ve got an inflatable llama that was handed down from your grandparents on display somewhere in your house.

...you have fantasies about President Domasca and several cans of squirty whipped cream.

...you sing insulting chants about the Starblaydi football team whilst secretly envying them.

...you think all Hockey Canadians married their siblings somewhere along the line.

...you bleed sky blue.

...you baulk at the words "penalty shoot-out", especially when used in the same sentence as "Sarzonia".

...you know what "JJP", "DVS", and "JCWC" stand for.

...you know all the words to "The Coffee Song".

Geisenfried

09-05-2006, 22:36

((OOC: Kry, already had game details (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10922415&postcount=438) up for our last match.))

Konigseifert Chronicle

Geisenfried Play Spoilsports
Upset Win Over Turori Leaves Division 15 Wide Open

Perhaps they expected to breeze through. Perhaps they thought that with our qualification done, we'd play reserves or something. Whatever the case, the Geisenfried Golden Eagles managed to upset division leading Turori, leaving the opportunities well open for Division 15.

The game started off with Geisenfried launching a lightning offensive strike into Turori territory, ending with forward Samuel Wolfe's goal in the 9th minute. From then on, Geisenfried mounted a stalwart defense, trying to hold their small lead from being lost. Despite many strong offensives from the Turori team, including many desperate ones toward the end, the Golden Eagles remained strong, Kurt Ackermann got a clean sheet, and Geisenfried captured an upset.

Geisenfried: 1
Turori: 0
Wolfe- 9' (GSF)

This leaves the qualifying possibilities for Division 15 to be a large mess. Tynelia are the least likely to make the cut, as they must win both their games, have Krytenia win both their games, and make up 6 goals to get a lead in goal differential. Not a very likely scenario. The rest is up for grabs, with the top three teams just a game apart, and with Krytenia facing both Turori and The Lowland Clans in their last two games, there's no end to the possibilities for each team to get in. We still go by what we said back before this began, with Krytenia and the Lowland Clans advancing.

Geisenfried hopes to finish up strong, as their final game for this edition of the World Cup, against the Algal States in the capital city of Konigseifert, is up next.

In related news, with Talmeria's loss to the Lowland Clans, it is now impossible for the Golden Eagles to place last, meaning Wilhelm Romm will keep his job, with his promises of both a home win and a place higher than 7th fufilled.

Schedule
Geisenfried 1-0 Talmeria
Geisenfried 1-0 The Lowland Clans
Geisenfried 0-2 Tynelia
Krytenia 2-0 Geisenfried
Turori 2-0 Geisenfried
Geisenfried 1-1 Algal States
Bye
Talmeria 2-1 Geisenfried
The Lowland Clans 1-0 Geisenfried
Tynelia 0-1 Geisenfried
Geisenfried 2-2 Krytenia
Geisenfried 1-0 Turori
Algal States at Geisenfried
Bye

GROUP 15 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Turori 10 6 1 3 14 9 5 19
Lowland Clans 10 6 1 3 14 11 3 19
Krytenia 10 5 3 2 14 8 6 18
Geisenfried 11 4 2 5 8 12 -4 14
Tynelia 10 4 1 5 6 7 -1 13
Algal States 10 2 4 4 7 9 -2 10
Talmeria 11 2 2 7 5 12 -7 8

Milchama

09-05-2006, 22:55

Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Domestic-International-Star-News-Today

Sports Section

What the F***?!

You would think that the 31st ranked team in the world would take a bunch of World Cup newcomers and slaughter them. If you did, you weren't alone as when Milchama got drawn into group 7 our fears were losing to Giant Zucchini and Sarzonia. We might get a bad result against Oglethorpia or Swilatia but we were certainly going to beat two teams at least once; Lisburn Mateys and Khenas. Even then the most pesimistic fan out there had to say that even if we drew or lost to the Mateys we would beat Khenas twice. Well we were all dead wrong as the Khenas with their two wins both coming against not Lisburn Mateys but the Milchama Warriors as in front of a cheering Milchama crowd yesterday two late goals from the Mermaids sealed their second win against us this campaign, this time by a 2-1 score. Coach Jamie Smith said, "We played like we didn't care today. At first we wanted to win but after we scored our first goal in the 12th minute we went on cruise control and let them dominate the game and I don't care who you are against if you give a national football team over 60% of the possesion they are going to hurt you. We allowed the Mermaids to have that type of possesion and unsuprisingly they hurt us badly scoring two goals in the second half to win the game."
Now a match report up to the first goal by Khenas:

The Warriors came onto the pitch with so much confidence it was scary in the words of hattrick, "they came onto the field thinking they had already won the game." Of course they had not won the game and were in fact about to get embarrased again by Khenas. It did not look that way at the beginning when Darian Flinters and Elana Kilinin's speed took the Mermaids by suprise and they were unlucky to not score a goal after the first 90 seconds. Two minutes later Nielson could not break the deadlock and the header by Bantin was just wide. Rintell tried his luck from 20 yards but it rebounded high for a goal kick. Right after the goal kick Copperlee found J.J. Faren alone but Faren could not put in the goal as the Mermaids keeper made a brilliant stop. Only one minute later Faren found Bantin all alone in the box and Bantin did not miss to make it 1-0 Milchama. After that the Warrior attack stopped as, despite the urgings of Jamie Smith, the players seemed content on a 1-0 win. It was a mistake though as the Mermaids really poored on the pressure. Kendric Pevington and Casey Stockholm (who has really played well defensively by the way) did well to stop them as Mills Thompson did his best in the air and used his pace effectively to ward off the Khenas strikers. The midfielders also played their part as despite getting heeps of possesion the Mermaids only got two good scoring chances in the half. One was a corner where X was unmarked but his shot missed the bar and went high. The other was a shot by Y from 18 yards that produced a wonderful save from Clay Finton. Then the second half began and one mistake from Thompson brought the game crashing down. After a foul by Rintell at a bit before midfield the Mermaids had a free kick. Y took the kick and swung it into the box where Thompson Z and X were waiting. Thompson missed timed his jump horribly and because of that fell on X and caused a penalty kick. The penalty was initially saved by Finton but the ball rebounded right back to Z who put it in to tie the game. After the goal the Warriors tried to start attacking again but could not get the energy and control they had exerted earlier and actually made the Mermaid attack easier...
Final Score:
Milchama 1 (Bantin 12)
Khenas 2 (X 78, Y 85)

Raging Penguins Report:
Well they might be eliminated but they are not done competing as they crushed Spaam and won 3-0 over them. This win is excellent for the Team and will be a good starter in the next World Cup.

Milchama Man of the Match:
Darian Flinters- His speed was incredible for the whole match. The Mermaids just could not keep up with his speep and control. If only he had used it more on the offensive end...

Sarzonia

10-05-2006, 00:51

Jeffrey David Foxworthy-Letterman

Top 10 Signs You Might Be A Stars Fan

Heere we go number 10: You grew up with a hatred of anything Bedistani. Just the name Bedistan makes your skin crawl.
Number 9: You consider "karela" a curse word and wonder why the Communications Oversight Committee doesn't fine stations that don't bleep it out.
Number 8: You've ever wondered why Dave Wilson doesn't get himself cloned so he can coach forever.
Number 7: You think Krytenia should have been spelt "Crytenia" for all the whining they do about losing to Sarzonia in penalties.
Number 6: You never met a Starblaydi you didn't dislike.
Number 5: You hope more Vuam and Isma nationals come to the Sarzonian Football Confederation to play.
Number 4: You curse the name Liverpool England when they play your team in championship finals.
Number 3: You can't remember the last time the Stars missed the World Cup finals.
Number 2: You cheer for Nedalia when they don't play your team but you still can't get past that "Lions" name.
And the Number One sign you can tell you're a Stars fan:
You expect your team to beat everyone 11-0 and you get ticked when your team doesn't play a perfect game.

Mr Chuck Norris

10-05-2006, 02:08

Chuck Norris News
For All Of Your Fighting Norris Coverage

We've got good news and bad news. The good news is that Chuck Norris is back in the starting lineup. The bad news...
THE FIGHTING NORRIS ARE OFFICIALLY ELIMINATED!

It's true, even if our beloved Fighting Norris win their last two matches, they still fall short of qualification. However, playing their hardest is still a requirement as every match benefits thier team rank. The worst part about failing to qualify is the fact that we must go back to the Cup of Harmony, a tourney in which the Fighting Norris have a history of failure. Just last year, the Fighting Norris were kicked out of the tourney after a miserable (0-1-2) performance.

However, we've been informed that we are not to focus on the Cup of Harmony as the World Cup 28 qualifying round has not concluded yet. To clarify why we aren't summarizing any matches, the Fighting Norris were on a bye during their most recent match. They will close out their World Cup 28 campaign with a two-match road trip to Slakaj and Burning Peguins. We will now turn the newscast over to coach of the Fighting Norris Bob Janney so he can yuck it up on live television.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It'll be alright everyone, life goes on. We'll be back next cup with more power and confidence than ever. A couple things I'd like to note. We've apparently gained some respect amongst other world-class teams as seen in this clip:

It is hard to say that Bettia deserve qualification, we would say Chuck Norris didn't deserve to fall away so early

Honestly, I personally take this to heart and I can honestly say that we back Cuation 100% in their attempt to beat out Bettia for qualification. Anyway, I have not been given airtime to make friends with other teams, so I'll stop doing so now.

In accordance with newscasts across the World Cup program, I've prepared a short list:

You might be a Fighting Norris fanatic if...

...you never expect clean sheets.

...you yell "TAKIL!" everytime you hear Karela.

...you're laughed at everytime you say "we pulled a draw against Liverpool Enlgand in World Cup 27".

...you have an intense fear of any squad ranked 85 or higher.

...you don't know what success is.

...you feel pain when Chuck Norris is injured.

...you have every telecast of Chuck Norris News taped and organized in chronological order sitting by your television.

...you judge the skill of football coaches on the quality of their group analysis and not the condition of their team.

Group analysis! What a great idea! Although were out of qualification, I'll still find a way to do some group analysis. As of now, this is what our group is looking like with two matchdays left to play

GROUP 4 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Squornshelous 10 7 2 1 23 8 15 23
Bettia 10 6 2 2 23 17 6 20
Cuation 10 5 4 1 22 14 8 19
5 Civ. Nations 10 4 3 3 19 19 0 15
Mr Chuck Norris 10 4 1 5 19 21 -2 13
Burning Pengs 11 2 2 7 11 23 -12 8
Slakaj 11 1 0 8 7 20 -13 3

Now there are four matches in the two aformentioned matchdays that directly affect qualification. On matchday six: Squornshelous will visit Cuation and Five Civilized Nations will visit Bettia. I'm not sure what to think about the Squronshelous/Cuation match, it could go either way. However, I am rather confident that Bettia can pull out a win against Five Civilized Nation, boosting Bettia to 23 total points and eliminating Five Civilized Nations from qualification. On matchday seven: Squornshelous will visit Bettia and Cuation will visit Five Civilized Nations. Both of those matches could end in any fasion. To summarize, there are two qualification spots that Squornshelous, Bettia, and Cuation are fighting for and a slew of matches amongst them in the upcoming days. My prediction: no prediction. That's right... I think I'm better off not even attempting to solve this one. That's all for today. Be sure to cheer us on as we play Slakaj and Burning Penguins in our final two matches of the tourney."

World Cup 28 Schedule of the Fighting Norris:
Matchday 1: Vs. Five Civilized Nations (Won 4-2)
Matchday 2: Vs. Squornshelous (Loss 0-2)
Matchday 3: At Bettia (Won 3-1)
Matchday 4: At Cuation (Loss 1-3)
Matchday 5: On Bye
Matchday 6: Vs. Slakaj (Won 1-0)
Matchday 7: Vs. Burning Penguins (Draw 2-2)
Matchday 8: At Five Civilized Nations (Won 4-1)
Matchday 9: At Squornshelous (Loss 1-4)
Matchday 10: Vs. Bettia (Loss 1-3)
Matchday 11: Vs. Cuation (Loss 2-3)
Matchday 12: On Bye
Matchday 13: At Slajak
Matchday 14: At Burning Penguins

Fighting Norris World Cup 28 Record: (4-1-5)

The Archregimancy

10-05-2006, 02:31

MD 13 scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=10929319#post10929319)

Haraki

10-05-2006, 04:36

The only thing Lloyd Vargas had to say after the game against Hockey Canada was "Thanks." Whether he was speaking to the Hockey Canada team or to his own was a mystery, but the Hawks were playing some of the best football they had played in quite some time. They opened the scoring with a good goal by Richard Weber in the twenty-second minute, followed by two goals in rapid succession from Hockey Canada to put them up 2-1 at half, with posession and number of shots about even.

But Haraki really shone through the second half, with Julie Vern taking posession much of the time, with a spectacular steal at centre, followed by a pass to Thomas Neils who made a long forward pass to Mike Zendar who sunk the ball home, giving his team a tie score.

The game was tense from then on, with both teams taking turns making fierce offensive drives to try and score again for a win. But both keepers were making good on their saves, and the defenders were playing well keeping the ball away from the scorers. Until finally Mike Zendar caught a breakaway ten minutes from the end, deking past two midfielders, kicking past and retrieving from a defender, and finally being left right in front of a wide open net, just him against the keeper.

There was no chance. Zendar slotted home the goal for a 3-2 lead in Hockey Canada. Hockey Canada tried their best to force another goal, but Haraki managed to hang onto their lead until the end, managing a 3-2 away win over the top-ranked team in the group and keeping qualification hopes alive.

Haraki 3 - Hockey Canada 2

Weber (22)
(27) Forward 'A'
(31) Midfield 'A'
Zendar (58)
Zendar (79)

Haraki

10-05-2006, 04:45

OOC: I apologize if this is a double post. The new scores were put up as I was writing the last one.

They've Done It!
From the Haraki News Network, Print Edition

Sam Sherman, The Kazoo Peoples. The Haraki Hawks managed to pull off another +3 goal upset against the Kazoo Peoples last night at the opposition's home field, putting them four points ahead of third-place Yafor 2 with only one matchday left, giving Haraki the second qualification spot.

Haraki opened the account with two goals in the first half, one by Manuel Cortes only seven minutes in and one by Samuel Sharp. Surprisingly, Haraki's two powerhouses this tournament, Richard Weber and Mike Zendar, did not play well at all during the first half, although not for lack of trying. Zendar, who has managed to score a full half of Haraki's goals this qualifying season, was off form today in Hockey Canada, some saying his bout of the flu was having a second wind.

Richard Weber managed a goal just after half, followed by a Kazooian goal, and another Harakian goal by Thomas Neils to put away a 4-1 win for the qualification spot.

Yafor 2, Haraki's main competitors in the last few days, were meanwhile defeated 3-0 by group champions Hockey Canada.

Good luck to the Hawks in the next round.

Sam Sherman is the HNN's leading football analyst.

Haraki 4 - The Kazoo Peoples 1

Cortes (7)
Sharp (35)
Weber (50)
(61) Forward
Neils (80)

Qazox

10-05-2006, 05:31

Qazox City Herald

SO CLOSE...AND YET SO FAR

Finally the travel ban for us reporters from Qazox has been lifted and the epidemic of Oxian Flu has been 99.98% contained (with some stragglers in the Lake Porter Region). Unfortunately for us football reporters, it came at the worst time as Qazox was offically eliminated from qualifaction into World Cup XXVIII. Reggie Hassok, who over the last couple of matches reported for us (ed note: Thamk the Holy Oxen that's over) seemingly has let his newly-found stardom go to his head as in the last two matches he has allowed 8 goals while in the 1st 9 he had allowed only 6. Granted, the last two games were on the road at the two highest ranked teams in the group, but still Reggie looked like a ox in the headlights. John Frorr will get the start tommorrow against Legalese as Qazox tries to finish in a strong 3rd palce in this tough group. Goals were scored by (IOQ- Forward #2 (17,23,35,67) QZX- Maria Gretsky-75)

In other action, Audioslavia continued its great qualifaction by beating Legalese 3-0, eliminatin Legalese. and The Remote Islands finshed its run with a loss to Anastasiania 2-1, placing them in last place, but a loss by Zorinia by 3 goals will leave Zorinia in last.

Standings After Matchday 13 (teams in Bold Have Qualified for WC 28)
GROUP 5 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Audioslavia 11 10 0 1 27 6 21 30
Isls of Qutar 11 6 3 2 14 7 7 21
Qazox 11 5 1 5 15 14 1 16
Legalese 11 4 3 4 8 13 -5 15
Anastasiania 11 3 3 5 12 17 -5 12
Zorinia 11 2 2 7 10 18 -8 8
Remote Islands 12 2 2 8 8 18 -10 8

So Far the following teams have Qualified for World Cup XXVIII:
Bedistan Hypocria Liverpool England
Starblaydia Praying2God Squornshelous
Bettia Audioslavia Islands of Qutar
Hockey Canada Haraki Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Rejisatania Oliverry Total n Utter Insanity
Sarzonia Milchama Fmjphoenix
Tadjikistan Spruitland Casari
Commerce Heights New Montreal States(co-hosts) The Archregimancy(co-hosts)

Casari

10-05-2006, 05:35

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b20/Casari/4sport.png

Let's take a shot at how we did.
Ow ow ow.

As you probably forgot, we predicted every qualifier, plus the people exiting in every round of the competition. Well, because there's nothing to talk about, let's see how we did, eh?

Winner Second
Group 1 Bedistan Rordia
Group 2 Liverpool England Vilita
Group 3 Starblaydia Praying2God
Group 4 Bettia Squornshelous
Group 5 Audioslavia Legalese
Group 6 Hockey Canada The Kazoo Peoples
Group 7 Jeruselem Andossa Se Mitrin Vega
Group 8 Rejistania Spaam
Group 9 Oliverry Schiavonia
Group 10 Total n Utter Insanity Nedalia
Group 11 Milchama Sarzonia
Group 12 Wentland Fmjphoenix
Group 13 Spruitland Tadjikistan
Group 14 Casari Commerce Heights
Group 15 Krytenia The Lowland Clans

Blue means, with one day left, our prediction is dead on. 11 of these are around.
Green means that we picked them to move on, and they're in a position to, but just the wrong one. We're looking at you, Mil. You dropped the ball on us. 8 more of these.
Black means they might make it, might not. If they don't, we'll be a lot angrier. 7 of these mean exciting last days.
Red means these teams seriously dropped the ball and didn't make it, making us all shake in our heads with dismay over a few pints. But there's only 4 of these.

Which means, if the last day falls our way, we could be 26/30 at picking the World Cup Qualifiers. Although, the only ones we got wrong were second seeds, and where that happened, we nailed the first.

Of course, there's always the wonderful chance that all these perdictions get absolutely shot to shit when the group draw comes. But who cares, we just have a meaningless game tomorrow against those nutters from Commerce Heights. Another group stage, here we come!

All opinions in this report are those of our drunken editors, who did actually notice a soccer match while dead sober in the back of a police cruiser, after a game of drunk soccer on a field that they opened a hydrant on, turning it to a thick layer of mud and destroying it. It was a hell of a time, though, and we'd recommend it to anyone.

The Archregimancy

10-05-2006, 05:36

Haraki 4 - Hockey Canada 1

Cortes (7)
Sharp (35)
Weber (50)
(61) Forward
Neils (80)

OOC: Wrong opponent Haraki... That was the Kazoos, not the Canucks!

Dorian and Sonya

10-05-2006, 08:27

Unicorns Down Homieville - Prepare for CoH

Queen Sonya had a smile on her face tonight as she prepared for the trip from Homieville to Rosberg. Her Unicorns had played well today. The changes in the line-up had worked brilliantly. Daniella Riska had been unbeatable in goal, collecting a clean sheet in her very first start for the national squad. That was a much needed upgrade from the play of the previous rotation at the position.

Brigette Deteso had been outstanding in the midfield as well. And for once, the offensive midfielder position had been played with some passion. Deteso set up both scores for Altáriël Telperiën who up to this point had been a one woman show.

The 2-0 victory moved the Mystical Unicorns back into the 5th spot on the table - a spot where they started at. One more match remained. And Queen Sonya was more than ready to avenge a home loss to Rosberg on MD7. With the new additions and some renewed fire in the squad, she was more than certain that her squad would get its revenge as it prepared for a solid run in the CoH.

Upset Watch

Group 6 - Haraki earned a qualification berth with a 4-1 victory over the Kazoo Peoples
Group 8 - Spaam continued to struggle as Elrich took a 2-1 victory
Group 9 - Olivery has lost two in a row, this time to McPsychoville 1-3
Group11- Sarzonia got Zucchini squashed 0-2 for their first loss
Group12- Magnus Velarius fell to St Happenin 1-2
Group13- Pastorville rocked the Tadjiks 2-0 for Tadjikistan’s first loss

Draws meant little as far as upsets go due to the seeds that were playing each other.

Kaze Progressa

10-05-2006, 08:41

The second most heavily discounted Progressan side in history (after the last one) have somehow blossomed, thriving under a lack of media pressure - something many nations believe should not be possible.

The group now hinges on the derby with Dance 2 Revolution. Only victory will do for the Progressans; Dance 2 Revolution also need a win to be sure, while a draw would open the door for Vilita's qualification - inconceivable not long ago - if they win their last match against already-qualified Liverpool England.

'We want to get Deal or No Deal and Estimate [a popular Progressan quiz show] off the front pages and fill them with sport again,' new manager Faiwe Rakunda told the Daily Kangaroo last night. 'The Progressair was rocking when we beat them 3-0, but nobody else seemed to even notice. I guess we have to be on the brink of qualification to draw any attention.'

---------

In last night's Progressan game shows:

* On the daily K500,000 edition of Deal or No Deal, Alinae Acunpi went to the final two cases - K5 and K100,000 - before taking a Deal for K42,000. She had K100,000 in her case.
* On Estimate, Mert Bujiri won his third consecutive game, needing a tie-breaker to defeat Quaza Gahia in the Final Showdown; he now has just under K124,000 in winnings.
* On Jeopardy!, Hajorae Hevama snatched a victory from third place after providing the only correct response on Final Jeopardy! She won K12,400, while two-day champ Tauvan Guiltei departs with K26,198.
* On 1 v 100, two consecutive players - carryover contestant Mert Orao and Valapie Ita - gambled with an escape intact only to be wrong; following contestant Waralie Beramou was only able to answer one question, eliminating three contestants and gaining K3,000.

Andossa Se Mitrin Vega

10-05-2006, 09:09

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a318/stormgiantxxxl/ASMVFNN.jpg
Sea Dragons Are In Again!

This is Kellan Kildan reporting live from Stadii Se Draggonnii Arcea

The Sea Dragons have done it again! We are in!

Today the opponent was a very solid squad from Bequerelia who had a very hot start to these qualifiers. They had cooled down over the last few match days, but ASMV needed a victory in this one so that they would not have to rely on getting points from Jeruselem in order to qualify. And a victory is just what they took form Bequerelia.

The match started off slowly with neither side wishing to give the other any sort of opportunity. Both defenses played very solid for the first thirty four minutes of the match. Then Micah Swift made the play that changed everything. A hard challenge resulted in a pile-up of players and the ball bounced harmlessly towards the midfield. Swift was the first to it and moved quickly (even if out of position) down the pitch. A laser-like pass found Kristov Kirelenko who made a brilliant shot for only his second goal in international play. The score at the half was ASMV 1-0 Beq.

The second half saw several of the reserves make an entrance in an effort to rest the aging legs of Unami Banta-N’bai and Evans. Genesis Galluccio was brilliant at center back. Anika Milosavic and Kendrick Pu played well in place of Evans and Jenni Ulrich in the midfield. The biggest surprise was at forward. Little used reserves Leena Draghi and Ali Devincenti both played amazingly well in place of Pablo Iglesias and Porche Alexander, the dynamic duo of Sea Dragon scoring. Draghi scored in the 74th minute while Devincenti added hers in the 87th minute. Jenna Jaffrey played well at keeper preserving the 3-0 clean sheet starter Shaun Conarky had started.

That win means the Sea Dragons are the only squad from group 7 that has earned its qualification berth with 24 points. Jeruselem had a chance to do the same but couldn’t put Kericia away as that match ended in a 1-1 draw. Jeruselem is 3 points clear of Kericia and Bequerelia for the second spot but has to travel to visit ASMV on the final match day. Bequerelia plays host to Kericia. Should the Sea Dragons win their match, Jeruselem will no doubt be pulling for Bequerelia to win or draw. A draw would secure Jerusalem a spot in WC28. If either side wins that match, Kericia is the one to watch - they are just 2 points behind on goal differential right now. Bequerelia is 7 point back on GD.

Friends Watch

THE HYPPOS HAVE QUALIFIED. The curse is over! Despite a 1-1 draw with AR.
Dorian and Sonya downed Homieville 2-0
Cuation was crushed 0-4 by Squornshelous and is now eliminated. Another solid CoH is up next for them
Ariddia lost 1-2 to unbeaten Rejistania. Hopefully Spaam can beat Elrich for them next MD
Milchama qualified again - and they beat Swilatia 1-0
Tadjikistan is in as well despite an 0-2 loss to Pastorville

SURPRISE OF THE QUALIFIERS:
With one MD left, unranked Tinsuvilia holds on to a qualification spot in Group 9. They are 1 point clear of Schiavonia and McPsychoville for that spot.

Problem is now they must take a bye date. Schiavonia plays host to Olivery and could lose that match. McPsychoville tavels to to a struggling Kelse who would love to knock them off.

Could we see an unranked squad actually qualify? Tune in next time to find out.

Ariddia

10-05-2006, 10:05

Exactly as expected

It all went as exactly as predicted on the penultimate day of qualifying. Elrich secured a vital win against the unfortunate Spaamanians, while Ariddia hosted Rejistania at Darras Olympic Stadium. . . and, of course, lost.

The team’s medical staff had said that Clément and al Jahdali could play, but advised against it, and coach Adam Seul chose not to risk their being injured for the crucial last match against Elrich. In front of a packed stadium, it was Kyaw who scored the opening goal, in the eighth minute, with a superb shot whizzing through just under the top bar. The crowd cheered, but the Rejistanians were having none of it. Hetaki and Teresil caught Ariddia’s defenders short in the nineteenth and twenty-eighth minutes, then fell back to their side of the field and defended solidly for the remainder of the game. The Ariddians were up against an impenetrable wall.

Fuelled no doubt by a rising feeling of frustration, Faraj finally broke through in the eightieth minute. . . only to have his goal quite rightly disallowed due to an offside. Try as they might, the Rouge-et-Noirs just could not equalise.

Ariddia remains in second place, but Elrich is now just two points behind. Fittingly, the contenders for that much sought second spot will go head to head in their next and final match. Ariddia needs a draw so as not to be eliminated, but Elrich has been the better team over the past weeks, and will have home advantage.

“We’re going to be knocked out on a single point on the very last day,” one supporter said, echoing the fears of many of his compatriots.

Cataduanes

10-05-2006, 12:20

Islanders lose there cool once again

Travelling to face FMJ Phoenix was a real tough fixture, The Vikings and the Islanders had been racing neck and neck until recently and Cataduanes could not afford to lose this one. The match kicked off to the roar of the passionate homecrowd, with only a meager 300 Cataduaño fans making the long journey to FMJ Phoenix. The first twenty minutes saw both teams attack minded, and the Vikings went ahead on the 22nd minute when Islanders goalie, Jose Sullop, fumbled the ball after stopping a long range effort from Brady Wayne allowing Brian Dougood a simple tap in on the loose ball. The Islanders struck back almost immediatly when the Vikings lack of concentration was duly punished by Toni Souletano's piledriver from 30 yards to level the score on the 25th minute. However the end to end football did not stop as both sides continued to attack and the Islanders scored a second goal on the stroke of half time with a superb header by Alfonso Boqueron from a corner kick to take the lead.

While the first half was fast and furious, the second half was positively pedestrian in comparison with the Islanders playing 11 men behind the ball in an effort to hang on to the lead, while the Vikings went all out in a search for the equalizer. As the second half progressed Cataduanes increasingly brutal tackling began to frustrate the home side, but with Boqueron and Souletano picking up yellow cards earning suspension for the next match the tactic was phyrric in nature. The tension boiled over in injury time with Mattias Lopez Cerro's headbutting of Siieranu Ijanaeil led to the fiery Cataduaño defenders dismissal amid the home crowd's insults on the 83rd minute, the incident had earned FMJ Phoenix a freekick just outside of the box which was duly dispatched by Mike Nolan who shot the ball powerfully through the middle of the wall of Islanders, with the scores level both teams exhausted seemed content to play out for the draw. The increasingly bad discipline exhibited by the Islanders is a source for concern as Jose Manua conceded after the match ''i cannot condone what Mattias Lopez Cerro did, that sort of conduct is simply not on. He knows what he did and will have make amends for it. Infac tthe whole team will need to learn to channel there anger more positively otherwise this sort of behaviour will be our undoing''.

The result leaves the top 2 places unchanged with the Vikings still in possesion (and sure of qualifacation) of a 3 point between them and second place Cataduanes. Elsewhere in group 12 Wentlands home win over Bazalonia has condemned the Bazalonians to elimination while keeping themselves in the running in third place just two points behind the Islanders. Eliminated St Happenin notch up there third win over Magnus Valerius.

The Islanders face Bazalonia away for MD 14 and they must win to ensure qualifacation, surely a tough fixture against a side with only pride left to play for, and on top of that the loss of 3 key players to suspension (Lopez Cerro, Souletano and Boqueron) will also be a burden. In comparison Wentland have it a little tougher as they face the Vikings at home, a game they must win to have any hope of qualifying (should the Islanders lose) however no one can write off the Swifts who certainly have the ability to get a result. The tension is certainly beginning to show and we will all have to see how this nailbiting finish to group 12 ends.

Cataduanes 2 Fmjphoenix 2
Wentland 2 Bazalonia 1
St. Happenin 2 Magnus Valerius 1

GROUP 12 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Fmjphoenix 11 7 2 2 20 7 13 23
Cataduanes 11 6 2 3 21 11 10 20
Wentland 11 5 3 3 21 14 7 18
Bazalonia 11 5 1 5 17 16 1 16
St. Happenin 12 3 3 6 9 23 -14 12
Magnus Valerius 11 3 2 6 13 22 -9 11
New-Lexington 11 2 3 6 9 17 -8 9

Jeruselem

10-05-2006, 13:05

* Weird theme song *

Rachel "Good morning, this is Rachel Goldstein for JGN at the World Cup 28. Today the Jeruselem coach showed his passion for the game. Jeruselem took on Kericia and was unable to take home the 3 points required. The game ended up in a heated draw - not the players who did this, it was the coach. The Jeruselem coach was sent off after getting annoyed at the referee for giving too many off-sides to the Kerician team as Jeruselem tried to break the dead-lock. Mr X just lost it and nearly beat up the referee before being taken away. Harry Kool is temporary coach for the game against the Sea Dragons as Mr X is banned from the next game. Yes, Mr X is apparent a Slav. Kericia withstood a barrack of attacks, well helped by some marginal offside decisions as well."

<sneezes>

"Sorry, it's cold out here. Becquerelia lost the Sea Dragons and hence the Sea Dragons officially qualify. It was a scary thing watching the Sea Dragons take apart Becquerelia to Jeruselem's advantage, but we have to play them next. Becquerelia are still in the hunt as well as Kericia, both on 18 points. Jeruselem are one win ahead on 21 points."

<sneezes again>

"Boudra-Boudra don't beat Phil the Albino but both teams cannot qualify anyway. Yes, it was a draw of no consequence. So, Sea dragons can relax! Jeruselem need a win or draw to be safe. Thet cannot afford bad loss at all with Becquerelia and Kericia ready to pounce. Yes, we call ourselves the Crusaders and Crusaders never have an easy time with so many heathens around."

"Hockey Canada won again, beating Yafor 2 three nil. They will top their group. Now, the Lions drew with the insane team? Yes, we aren't lying at all. The Lions drew one all and that point was golden, so golden like Jeruselem's point. To help, Chicanada decided to the same with Collonie, two all. So, here we have the Lions needing points in the last game like Jeruselem"

Table shows in screen

GROUP 7 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
ASMV 11 8 0 3 18 9 9 24
Jeruselem 11 6 3 2 16 8 8 21
Kericia 11 5 3 3 17 11 6 18
Becquerelia 11 6 0 5 15 14 1 18
Rorysville 11 4 2 5 16 18 -2 14
Boudra-Boudra 11 4 2 5 12 16 -4 14
Philthealbino 12 0 2 10 5 23 -18 2

"Now, here's a concidence. Jeruselem and Nedalia on 21 points. Their challengers are on 18 points. God, soccer is funny game. The last word - Jeruselem need a win or draw against the Sea Dragons, while Nedalia must to the same in their last game. If you have weak heart, do not watch the last games - it will kill you. Jeruselem's advantage is goal difference of plus two over Kericia and plus seven over Becquerelia. On this level, it's Kericia we fear."

Giant Zucchini

10-05-2006, 13:31

Dear diary,

Well, I guess this is the best possible way to get knocked out of qualifying...dealing Sarzonia, the top seed and top of the table in the group, their first loss in qualifying, scoring 2 and keeping a clean sheet as well...well I can't fault the guys, they played really well today, and it was kinda sad to find out that they've been eliminated after a fantastic performance...ah well, this is life, this is the World Cup qualifying...hopefully this, and more good performances like this...manage to secure my place as the coach of this team for some time...well, I guess we'll have to look forward to the Cup of Harmony then...

D

Harlesburg

10-05-2006, 13:43

Harlesburg Sports Fan One:Well we lost didn't we?
Harlesburg Sports Fan Two:No we didn't lose we just didnn't win.
Harlesburg Sports Fan One:That is what i said.
Harlesburg Sports Fan Two:Nah
Harlesburg Sports Fan One:Yes it is.
Harlesburg Sports Fan Two:Well we scored a goal
Harlesburg Sports Fan One:Yup.
Harlesburg Sports Fan Two:They scored three though.
Harlesburg Sports Fan One:Yup
Harlesburg Sports Fan Two:Can't win a game like that can you?
Harlesburg Sports Fan One:Nope
Harlesburg Sports Fan Two:Who played well?
Harlesburg Sports Fan One:Sallasan?
Harlesburg Sports Fan Two:He doesn't play anymore..
Harlesburg Sports Fan One:Oh...
Harlesburg Sports Fan Two:Is there a scapegoat who we can blame?
Harlesburg Sports Fan One:Yeah the ball and goal conspired against us
Harlesburg Sports Fan Two:Maybe next time?
Harlesburg Sports Fan One:Probably not.
Harlesburg Sports Fan One:yeah...

Dasha Tolkacheva back heel
Durum Rage chipped keeper
Markko Rakkinen Corner kick headed in 55th
Patrici Cunescu long range shot off the left foot deflected off defenders shin.

Scoring summary
Dasha Tolkacheva 9th
Durum Rage 34th
Markko Rakkinen 55th
Patrici Cunescu 77th minute

Group 3

Harlesburg 1 Starblaydia 3
Praying2God 4 Vuam and Isma 1
Gaspland 0 Georgeonia 2

GROUP 3 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Starblaydia 11 10 0 1 24 6 18 30
Praying2God 11 6 1 4 17 9 8 19
Vuam and Isma 11 5 0 6 15 20 -5 15
Gaspland 12 4 2 6 19 22 -3 14
Harlesburg 11 4 1 6 12 18 -6 13
Georgeonia 11 4 1 6 9 17 -8 13
Dauna Hills 11 2 3 6 13 20 -7 9

Cuation

10-05-2006, 13:44

Cuation Are out!

Only two defeats but the problem was it was against Bettia and Squornshelous but only able to gain draws against them, we just where a shade away from being the same quality. This wouldn't have mattered if we had managed to beat FCN and drew with BP at such a vital stage.

Rual Mendiz has found form, Gary Jens is back on form and Giovanni has overall been a good playmaker to cover for Tanner's injury. Cheese will learn in the CoH but it has to be asked how badly age will take Giovanni from us and who will replace the work rate of Roy Ferguson? It does hurt for the Cuation fans to see the Sea Dragons make it 2 World Cups in four attempts but we wish them well.

Hargreves Showing Costs Cuation

This is team we expected to beat and we should have done but for poor finishing and Hargreves moment of madness. Maybe it was match fitness for Hargreves? Or maybe he is just a useless player who should be banned from playing football ever?

Rual seemed lethargic after his hatrick and Giovanni was easily pressed off the ball in the first half. Without his playmaking, Ashton and Milnar where unable to break down the wings and the first half was a drab affair with the home fans being pleased overall.

At half time, Anderton and Keane came on for Giovanni and Mendiz and things went Cuation's way. Anderton acted as a target man to knock the ball down while Keane used his pace to get in behind the defence. Three times Keane latched onto long balls being flicked on by Anderton in ten minutes before the defence tightened up.

The first time he slid the ball past the advancing Blas Baneulos but just wide off the far post. The second time he waited for Blas to charge out then tried a fancy chip but it was far too high to the amusement of the home fans and the annoyance of Jude Takerath. The third and final time saw Keane dance past Blas but from a tight angle, hit the inside of the far post and back out.

In the 70th minute with the game again dragging, on came Beanpole Tanner for Roy Ferguson. Milnar moved inside and Anderton went on the left wing. Again things opened up with Tanner prompting play.

Anderton was unmarked when Butcher swung in an early cross but headed well wide. Milnar broke clear from Tanner's through ball but was denied when Blas dived at his feet. Ashton's long range volley forced a sharp parry from the keeper who looked relived when Butcher blazed the rebound wide.

In the 80th minute, Cuation took a deserved lead. Cole charged down the right, playing a one-two with Asthon before swinging in a cross. Pual Keane made a run but just missed with his diving header, the ball going behind him where Tanner scooped down to head his team into the lead.

Cuation pressed forward to finish the game off and where never in danger of BP scoring. Unable to break through a tough defence on the ground, the crosses where claimed by an excellent Blas Baneulos. In the 90th minute, Cuation threw away their hopes of making the World Cup, Vladimir Vallarta's early cross posed no danger with it going straight to Hargreves with no striker around.

Simple header away would do it but he headed it back to his goal. Gary Jens was caught by surprise and was slow to react as the ball flew past him. 1-1. The away fans poured onto the pitch when the whistle went, content on hitting Hargreves before the security stepped in.

Cuation's world cup was as good as dead from this point.

Sarzonia

10-05-2006, 13:44

Woodstock Daily Mail

Ryan Calvin
Cooley loses his cool

9 MAY 2006 -- It wasn't supposed to be like this. Not for a man once anointed the next great goalkeeper of the Sarzonian national football team. Not for a man who was a key member of the Sarzonian under 21 national teams under Cal Trottier that advanced to the brinks of championships.

But here he was, getting an opportunity to start a World Cup qualifying match against Giant Zucchini with the Stars already having punched a ticket into the World Cup finals for the 10th consecutive time and looking for all the world like someone who'd never played the position before in his life. He gave up goals on both of the first two shots he faced and made only one save, a routine header that he mishandled.

Even worse than his shaky performance, however, was the fact that he was issued a red card for bumping the referee after he was called for holding the ball too long in the penalty area. The team was forced to take forward Kenny Cooper off the pitch and substitute him with Roger Treadway just 14 minutes after the opening kickoff. So much for giving Treadway the game off.

"I just didn't have my head in the game," a sullen Cooley said after the match. "I never should have bumped the official. Now I've put my team in a bad spot for the next two matches."

Instead of giving Cooley a chance to work his way into match fitness and resting Treadway, who had played every minute of every match thus far, Coach Dave Wilson will be forced to start Treadway in the next match, against Milchama. With the match now deciding who will win Group 11, Wilson said he would have started Treadway anyway, but had the Stars (7-3-1) won their match against Giant Zucchini, he might have played Cooley.

"I'm very disappointed with the outcome of this match," Wilson said. "I'm disappointed with Harvey. I'm disappointed with the field players. We've put ourselves in a position to cost ourselves the group title and I'm not happy about that. The worst part was the loss of composure."

For a team that is three World Cups removed from a fourth straight appearance in the semifinals, the fall from grace has been precipitous. The Stars held the world's number one ranking from the end of World Cup XXII until the end of World Cup XXVI, advancing to the championship match twice and winning the third place match once. Since then, the team was eliminated in the second round in World Cup XXVI and failed to advance out of the group stage for the first time in seven tries in World Cup XXVII.

"We're just as perplexed as the rest of you are," midfielder Jenna Raven said. "This team hasn't lost a bit of its work ethic. It's one of the most determined group of people I've ever been around. It's just that other teams are bringing it like we used to now. We've got to start getting back to working harder than everyone else."

However, other teams don't see the Stars' performance as a lack of effort. Indeed, until this World Cup, the Stars have consistently worked harder than the other teams in their group, holding onto the same work rate that marked their very beginning teams.

"They bust their [rears]," said a technical director from an Atlantian Oceania side who asked not to be identified. "They're still one of the most driven teams I've ever seen. The problem is that they need to stop whining about officiating or hosting and concentrate on the football."

Whatever the answer, the Stars have at least four more matches to figure it out.

Tadjikistan

10-05-2006, 14:19

First loss for the Tigers

Pastorville - 'It would have happened sooner or later' Coach Zaev told the press 'I just find it strange that it happened against a team that has only one striker.' Indeed, noone understood how 51th ranked uberdefensive Pastorville Saints could get a 2-0 win over the Tigers, though that red card that Maximov received for tackling Reverend Allen might have played a role.

Suchomlinov could not stop Reverend Carlsons penalty and the Tigers found themselves in a difficult situation, Gyurza saw how the Tigers reorganized 'The others had to cover Maximovs position, leaving insufficient offensive power for the strikers to move forward with.'.
For the Saints, whom had only a really small chance to qualify, it was a gift from heaven. A sign from god that they should go for a win. Their numerical superiority gave them extra possibilities while the Tigers could no longer force a breakthrough. With their midfielders and some defenders behind the ball, Pastorville's striker Reverend Harris was able to get past the Tadjik defender and move forward to Suchomlinov, the latter stopped Harris' shot, but was unable to take the rebound by Reverend King. For the Tigers a disaster they could not cope with, Tadjikistan was no longer the unbeaten side in group 13 (that honour goes to Spruitland now).

Zaev wasnt too happy with the result either, eventhough Tadjikistan was already qualified, He wanted to be the top team in group 13 and did not hide his dissapointment 'This means there's only one point between us and Spruitland. This was a situation I wanted to avoid, I really wanted to secure that first place, simply because its good for morale and because the team worked for it. So its quite simple: We must win or draw in Spruitland or they'll jump over us. I cant accept that we'd be second in a group we should have easily dominated.

GROUP 13 P W D L GF GA GD PTS
Tadjikistan 11 7 3 1 21 6 15 24
Spruitland 11 6 5 0 19 7 12 23
Pastorville 11 5 2 4 13 16 -3 17
N. Caesarea 12 2 6 4 9 15 -6 12
Atheistic Right 11 3 2 6 11 13 -2 11
Radke 11 3 2 6 12 21 -9 11
Apo. Kittens 11 2 2 7 10 17 -7 8

MD1: Bye
MD2: Atheistic Right - Tadjikistan D 0-0
MD3: Tadjikistan - Radke W 4-2
MD4: N. Ceasarea - Tadjikistan D 1-1
MD5: Apo. Kittens - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD6: Tadjikistan - Pastorville W 4-0
MD7: Tadjikistan - Spruitland D 0-0
MD8: Bye
MD9: Tadjikistan - Atheistic Right W 2-0
MD10: Radke - Tadjikistan W 0-3
MD11: Tadjikistan - N. Ceasarea W 3-0
MD12: Tadjikistan - Apo. Kittens W 2-1
MD13: Pastorville - Tadjikistan L 2-0
MD14: Spruitland - Tadjikistan

Tadjik Goalscorers:
Saradov - 7
Zyrianov - 5
Tulberdiev - 5
Elisarov - 2
Kirponos - 1
Maximov - 1

Tynelia

10-05-2006, 16:08

Drawn and Quartered

At first things looked promising as Krytenia jumped off to an early lead before the start of the Tynelia/Turori matchup. As a Krytenia win was a must for Tynelia to move on. However it was the home team that jumped out to a 1-0 lead at the end of the first half. Needing to win also to stay alive Tynelia rallied back to draw even at the 70 minute mark. At that oint both teams went all out but in the end the score stayed the same. With the draw, Tynelia was eliminated though they could be happy that they went 1-1-0 against the number two seed. Others say its karma retsoring the balance of things to counteract the fact that Tynelia was 0-1-1 against a much lower ranked Talmeria team.

As a result of this match Tynelia most likely has to win their final match at home against the Lowland Clans to ensure they finish no worse than fourth, once more maintaining their rank as they did in their first cup. A loss and an Algal States win over Talmeria drops Tynelia to fifth. However the Clans must win themselves in order to advance as a draw doesn't help them given Turori's large goal differential edge so even if Krytenia won, Turori would get the number two spot. This draw helps Krytenia a bit as well as now the only way they fail to move on is with a loss and a Lowlands Clans win.

Once again Tynelia's offense has kept them from moving on. Defensively the team was in the top ten (tied with several other teams) in fewest goals allowed at under a goal a match thanks to stellar goaltending by both Amy Whiteworth and Vladimar Malloy. In fact only Krytenia to this point with one match left managed to score as many as two goals in one match. Offensively however the team suffered, especially after the attack on Coach Greg Tudor being shutout in 6 matches themselves. Clearly offense is something that must be addressed before their next tournament or it will be more of the same. Now eyes look towards the Cup of Harmony and hopes for advancing beyond the group stage there at least.

Lisburn Mateys

10-05-2006, 16:32

Matchday 12

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/9163/starlogo2ti.jpg
Giant Zucchini's bogey team?

Matchday 12 turned out to be a very promising day for the Mateys as their search for 4th place continues and will finish with a show down game against 4th placed Oglethropia, with one point seperating the teams.
35 year old Alan Mannus said that he would hang up his gloves at least internationally at the end of the world cup and having played a total of zero games so far the coach decided that Alan would get a start today, unfortunatly it was his mistakes that lead to the goals.

The Mateys drew away with the zucchini's and with a similar performance a win was definatly on the cards, the Mateys sensing this started well scoring early on when Stephan Mc Niece was brought down on the outside of the area. Livingston whoes tradmark freekicks are well known seemed to score with ease as if missing was impossible, again leaving the keeper with no chance at all.

The Mateys second also came in the first half when Amusi Akobyi's parried shot land to Richard Dougherty, but he still had some work to do with defenders all around him and the keeper quickly getting back to his feet. With a defender quickly running too him he brought the ball back and struck it to the oppisate corner that Amusi had tried to score in, which of coarse the keeper was miles away from 2-0 and the Mateys where in paradise.

with everything going there way an unchanged Mateys side looked as strong as they had ever been, Mannua making a few saves, but then the moment of truth a simple cross was hit into the Mateys box, Mannus went to catch but fumbled it, leaving Carragher with a simple tap in.

The next goal came towards the end with the Zucchini's sensing an upset the worked their asses off a hecktic clearence after another Mateys attack saw Carragher sprint after the ball again, he was easily beating Jonathon Bell, Mannus came for it but then seemed to hesitate and then tried to get it again, by this stage it was too late and Carragher chipped it over his head and in, right at the end of the game.

Final score
Lisburn Mateys 2 - 2 Giant Zucchini
Keith Livingston - 6
Richard Dougherty - 42
Carragher - 67, 89

Dance 2 Revolution

10-05-2006, 16:37

Final Qualification goes to Final Day

It's getting hot at the top of Group 2, isn't it?

As we enter the final day of qualifying, there's a situation arising, hell, Dance 2 Revolution might actually be staying IN the competition and not head to their third straight Cup of Harmony. The situation as it stands:

Liv. England 11 7 2 2 23 9 14 23
D2R 11 5 3 3 20 19 1 18
Kaze Progressa 11 5 3 3 13 12 1 18
Vilita 11 5 1 5 20 17 3 16
Dorian&Sonya 11 4 1 6 14 18 -4 13
Rosberg 11 3 3 5 14 20 -6 12
Homieville 12 1 5 6 11 20 -9 8

Liverpool England's manager, despite pressure midway through qualifying as they failed to occupy a qualifying space, he has led his team through a hard spell to claim top of the group.

Dance 2 Revolution, despite holding top of the table for the majority of the early qualifyiing period, recently slipped out of the qualifying spots and only reclaimed it on goals scored after last match-day's results

Kaze Progressa, after finally winning a local KP-D2R derby, have suddenly sped back into qualification contention for the first time in some time. They will be looking for a double salvo over the Revolutionaries to bring back the Progressan's of old.

Vilita once looked out of it, but now they have a chance, although it's an outside chance. Only one scenario will do for the Vilitians, a win over already qualified Liverpool England and the D2R-KP derby to end in a draw would put Vilita through on Goal Difference.

The scenarios

Kaze Progressa win: Regardless of the Vilita result, Kaze Progressa go through.

Dance 2 Revolution win: Regardless of the Vilita result, Dance 2 Revolution go through.

D2R - KP ends in a draw. Vilita win: Vilita go through at the expense of D2R on goal difference, no matter what margin Vilita win by.

D2R - KP ends in a draw. Vilita fail to win: D2R go through at the expense of Kaze Progressa on Goals Scored. Vilita fail to take advantage of the result.

Northern Caesarea

10-05-2006, 17:26

Northern Caesarea 0 - Atheistic Right 2

12. Molina *

2. Ferrer **
21. Perea 0
15. Molinero **
22. Ibañez *****

13. Caminero ****
14. Vizcaíno 0
8. Ibagaza **** => Zahínos (m.64)
6. Colsa ** => 24. Novo (m.47)

7. Narváez 0
9. Torres **

Booked

Yellow: Molina, Ibañez, Caminero
Red: Perea, Vizcaíno, Narváez

A shameful show of violent anti-football was offered yesterday by the Tricolore Fury to its fans at the Azaña National Stadium. The match against Atheistic Right will enter into history as one of the most violent of the national team, with 3 expulsions.

Problems begun at minute 32, when defender Perea wounded AR striker "Puma", sending him to hospital with a broken knee. The referee handed out the red carton, but the public and some of the players disagreed. Molina and Caminero received an amonestation for complaining too vehemently. When Kangaroo scored the first goal, a rain of bottles and rotten tomatoes started to fall to the pitch, obliging to a temporary suspension.

15 minutes after the match continued and Elephant committed a clear penalty against Narváez, which wasn't seen by the referee. Narváez decided to make justice himself and he made a tyson-style punch to Elephant's face. Second player to see the red carton.

In 2nd period, Vizcaíno, who played as a defender, made a clear penalty to Tasmanian Devil, when he was approaching the goal. The penalty kick gave AR its second goal.

Cuation

10-05-2006, 19:46

Cuation Wooden Go!

"Kamaka is clear on goal again, Gary Jens comes out to close the angle. Low shot and Gary Jens has got both hands to it! Oh but it has squirmed out of his hands and over the line. 4-0 and the look on Gary Jens face says it all! Blow the whistle and end our misery ref!

It was a rainy day as what little hope that remained was put out in the most brutal fashion possible. 4-0 defeat was humiliating and no way to mark the full return of Peter Tanner to the line up. Another Cup of Harmony for Cuation while others like ASMV advance to the World Cup proper.

We didn't start badly, Petrov and Kamaka testing Gary Jens while Rual, Ashton, Tanner and Milnar made Beeman work. Cuation had the upper hand, more used perhaps to playing in rain or due to much was on the line but in the 23rd minute, Milnar lost the ball to Benson.

Quick passing play allowed Squornshelous to counter attack with the ball ending up at Xenakis feet. Creating space for himself, the playmaker played the ball forward for the overlapping Oleg Petrov. Luring Butcher into a reckless slide tackle, Petrov broke clear down the right and swung in a powerful cross to the near post.

Vasili Petrov had escaped at the near post from the attention of Hargreves, meeting the ball with a bullet header, Gary Jens didn't even have time to move. 1-0 to the group leaders

Within seconds, Cuation had a chance to pull things level, Ashton playing in Cole who got to the by-line, pulling the back for Rual. 6 yards out, the seven goal Rual hit it straight at the relived Beeman. It was clear from the Cuation faces that they couldn't believe it.

Cuation laid siege to the goal but only Tanner offered any sort of threat, creating chances for his team mates but nothing came off it. Ashton was unable to find his range, Rual looked shocked while Milnar found Beeman equal to whatever he could come up with.

Yan marshalled the defence well to ensure that the many Squornshelous attacks foundered. As half time was approaching, Cuation fans hoped they could keep defending well and go into half time 1-0 down so Jude could rearrange things.

Rio Samba dallied on the ball near his own box instead of starting another attack. Kamaka snuck up and stole the ball, driving forward into the box and trying a shot. As in the 2-2 draw, Gary Jens denied him, tipping the powerful drive over the bar. The marking at the corner was poor and when the ball swung in, Kaizers met it, his header nearly bursting the back of the net. 2-0 and the game was as good as killed off. Kaizers had gained revenge for his sending off.

At half time, Hargreves, Ferguson and Milnar where replaced by Keane, Anderton and Giovanni as Cuation switched to a 2-4-5 formation. In the second half, Anderton tumbled under Dymek's challenge but was booked for diving. Giovanni tried a chip from the half way line but it fell far too short while Keane was denied by a great tackle by Kaizers.

Overrun at the back, Cuation had Gary Jens to thank for keeping the score down, denying Xenakis twice, Petrov once and Kamaka three times until the 70th minute. Another fast move found Syvatov racing forward. Cutting inside, he had enough space to hit a fantastic effort that swerved, Gary Jens dive was a mere token effort.

Cuation fell apart at 3-0 but still tried to save the situation by scoring 4 but they couldn't get a move going. Kamaka was the biggest threat and in the 89th minute, he got his wish. A simple ball over the top meant a race between Yan and Kamaka but the defender is not the quickest and lost out.

The striker had one last chance, feigning to shoot to Jen's right, he floated in a shot to Jen's right. The keeper was nearly wrong footed but managed to get both hands to it but the ball was slippery from all the rain and it escaped his grasp and into the net, despite a valiant effort to claw it back off the line.

4-0 and an end to Cuation's dreams. 4-0, are we honestly that poor? Today yes but would we suffer that often when we qualify in the future?

Wentland

10-05-2006, 20:53

22.3.33>>>transcript extract: WEN-BAZ 93'35"

"...we've nearly had the four minutes...Kent about to take the corner..."

"Derrington's come up..."

"Francis Derrington has indeed come up...1-1 here and the Swifts need a win..."

"Come on, Cosmo...the ref's looking at his watch..."

"Over it comes...oh..."

"OFF THE LINE!!!"

"DEZ!!!!!!"

"YEEESSSSS!!!!!!!!"

"DERRINGTON HAS SCORED!!!!!! WITH THE LAST KICK OF THE GAME!!!!!!"

"OHHH, I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!!!!"

"Get off the pitch!!!"

"It's uproar...Dez is off..."

"He's running like a dervish and they can't catch him...Francis Derrington has scored..."

"He came up for the corner...it was cleared off the line..."

"It's pandemonium...they're all over the pitch..."

"The police are wading in...the Bazalopes are SHATTERED...staring catatonically at the scene..."

"But the goal stands...2-1, RIGHT at the death...the World Cup dream is still on..."

"Here's the replay...it's Smith who heads it goalwards...Constantine pushed it out..."

"Ha! Ha! Ha!"

"...he pushed it off Derrington's thigh and it bounced back into the net..."

"I don't think Dez knew a thing about it..."

"Indeed, from this angle it seems as if Capper pushed Dez into the way...but it's his own player so no foul..."

"They're kicking off now...and THERE'S THE WHISTLE!!!"

"The Swifts have WON!!!"

***

The Swifts had indeed won. The journey back to base was part-riotous, part-solemn. There was still a chance - but either a big win in the final match was needed with Cataduanes drawing, or a win with a Cataduano defeat.

The last game was with Fmjphoenix.

And Cataduanes faced the shattered Bazalopes.

On the coach back, highlights of the game were shown. Derrington demanded the goal of the season award as his goal was broadcast and everyone jeered at him.

Only one man noticed the follow-up on the footage. Grainy black and white cinematography of a game from the past. Joe Weston could not see which teams were playing, but heard the newsreader say that John Lucas shoved his goalkeeper in the way of a clearance to clinch a title, and Joe Weston could not but notice that Lucas looked a bit like John Capper.

Wentland

10-05-2006, 22:52

So it was down to the final game. Edgar Bluff had gone for attack. He could not consider that Bazalonia would beat Cataduanes so he was looking for a three-goal margin. Against Fmjphoenix. An impossible task. His main hope was that the Vikings were already through. Would they take it seriously?

His team-talk was quieter than normal.

"We should have been dead by now. We have another chance.

"It's not in our hands but let's go out and get some pride. At least get us into the Cup of Harmony on a high.

"Smithy, you'll be the spearhead knocking it down to Barnesy and Frankie. Cosmo and Adey, you've got to get the crosses in, or the through balls in. I'm relying on you to be creative.

"Cap, you know what to do. Joey, you've got to hustle, hustle, hustle.

"Moonie, you've got your hands full. One centre-half against their marauders. Good luck, lad.

"Talbo, you need to come inside when necessary. And get ready to cover the overlaps. And you, Bertie.

"Dez, magnificent against the Bazalopes. Same again.

"This might be my last match in charge. I've got the tactics wrong too often. We should have been qualifying with ease for this. Instead we're snookered. But it's been a great 12 years and I wouldn't miss it for the world.

"Whoever follows will have a great squad and all sorts of youngsters coming through. Most of you are not at your peaks yet and I'm looking to see something special next time around.

"Now go out there and ATTACK!!! ATTACK!!! ATTACK!!!!"

***

The Swifts traipsed out into the tunnel, awaiting the signal, to step onto the hallowed turf at the Warplands.

And Edgar Bluff remained in the dressing room, thinking. The pegs were empty, the room a bit dishevelled with bags akimbo, couple of drink bottles on the floor. The room seemed to echo. The celebrations after beating Harlesburg. That was some night, the only World Cup finals for the Swifts. Back to his club career, taking Warpstone to the title twice on the trot. He had been here before, of course, with Orielensis, when an unexpected win had kept The Feathers up in the top flight against all odds. It was his goal that secured the points and The Stones invited him in to celebrate their own title.

Seventeen years as a player. Over five hundred games, a hundred goals from midfield. Twelve years as club manager. Twelve as national manager. Seven Cups, four titles. Four regional titles. It had been a glittering career.

But right now he'd give all of it for one more tilt at the finals.

"Come on, boss, they're waiting." One last look around before heading to the bench. The last time as manager?

Milchama

10-05-2006, 23:15

Keltic Picayune-Newspaper-Chronicle-Times-Journal-Sun-Mail-Globe

Sports Section

Doomsday!

Normally you would expect us to talk about a glorious day in Milchama football history as we qualified for our second straight World Cup but not on a today like this as Hypocria qualified. That's right the NS equivalent of the Cubs winning the World Series has finally happened. After getting their hearts broken again and again and again the Hyppos have finally broken the curse and qualified for the World Cup. This of course means that we actually have to find a new Hypocria, namely a team that has no luck and always seems to fall at the last hurdle in the World Cup despite getting so close and dealing with a lot of expectations. As of right now we have no candidates but we know that they will be coming soon as we will get people to suggest them to us.

Anyway back to Milchama a freak late goal sealed the fate of Swilatia and of Giant Zucchini who despite a spirited performance against Sarzonia as they won 2-0 was not enough as the Warriors won. We can only hope for the best of luck to the Zucchinis next cup, unless of course they are in our group. Coach Jamie Smith said, "Well it was far from a conventional or win but it was enough. You have to credit Rintell for finding him like that it was good field awareness. You also have to credit the aliens for putting him in the perfect position to score the goal." And now how they scored:

83rd/84th minute: Milchama locked in a struggle here against Swilatia. Last time they romped over them by a 4-1 scoreline but this time they have seemed to figure out the Milchamian attack and have done a great job to stop it. The other results are not going well for the Warriors as Giant Zucchini have just scored their second on Sarzonia, to probably put that game out of reach. Anyway Flinters now with the ball, he passes it back to Pevington who passes it up to Rintell who beats the Swilatian midfielder to the middle and Oh my god what the hell is happening? An alien spaceship has come over the field and has beamed down Marc J. Floren!!! He's even with the defense as Rintell hits it, Floren looks dazed but he's figured out where he is and what's happening as he beats the defense and dribbles around the goalie to score!!!!!!! 1-0 Milchama! Now Floren is being taken off the field, as he looks like he is badly bruised and is in a huge trance but that's not the point now as he just scored what very well could be the game winning goal for Milchama. That was the weirdest goal and probably sequence of events I have ever seen in my life but wow what a play and what a goal by Marc J. Floren.

90th minute: The game ends! Milchama qualifies! Marc J. Floren's freak goal was enough in this match.

Final Score:
Milchama 1 (Floren? 84)
Swilatia 0 (The defense is picking up)

Raging Penguins Report:
Despite a rocky road, the Team have finished their first ever qualification campaign with a 1-1 draw against the Plijous. Good job there various thingys.

Milchama Man of the Match:
Marc J. Floren- His goal was great and his post game interview was better as he had frequent references to "the other," the nastics, and Steve the Egg. He said that aliens had abducted him and beamed him down to see the Milchama game, unfortunately they had beamed him down in the wrong location so that he was actually on the field. He also said that he liked the aliens as they read him many things about early chrisendom and judaism that sounded interesting like the gospels of Judas and Thomas as well as the Babylonian Talmud.

It was a very interesting match.

Krytenia

10-05-2006, 23:30

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png
That Friday Feeling
by Rami Niblick in Graham City

RUMOURS of our elimination appear to have been greatly exaggerated. The Aces destroyed The Lowland Clans on their own turf in a three-nil display, and then, to put the cherry on the cake, Turori were held by a spirited Tynelian side to leave the Aces in control of their own destiny.

Things were almost very different in this game though; the Clans actually had the ball in the net after just three minutes from a corner, however the goal was disallowed for a push on Yannick Nourrise in the Krytenian goal. Once they got started, though, Krytenia took the game by the horns. The first goal came on twenty-four minutes, as Marlon Friday connected perfectly to a Tejai cross with his headto put the visitors in front. Things didn't get any better for the Clans either. Jerome Jaffacake-Phillips was givving the home keeper trouble all afternoon, and it was a parry of another JJP thunderbolt that led to Friday grabbing his second with his weaker left foot.

Friday completed the "perfect hat-trick" (left foot, right foot, head) early in the second half as he struck home a slide-rule pass from Quinnell, and at that point the Aces shut up shop and killed off the game. What this means in terms of qualifation is that Krytenia are once more perched atop the group, and a draw against Turori is enough to put them through; even then, the Krytenia-Turori match could be inconsequential, as defeat for the Clans in their last match puts both the Aces and the Eels through.

THE LOWLAND CLANS - 0

KRYTENIA - 3
Friday 24, 36, 53

TOURNAMENT SCORERS
J. Quinnell - 6
M. Friday - 5
J. Jaffacake-Phillips - 5
G. Kennedy - 1
Tejai - 1

QUALIFYING SCHEDULE
MD1: NO FIXTURE
MD2: A v ALG D 0-0
MD3: A v TLM W 3-1
MD4: A v GEI W 2-0
MD5: A v TYN W 2-0
MD6: H v TLC W 2-1 (Isserson Stadium, Everton City)
MD7: H v TUR L 2-3 (New City Stadium, Avidia)
MD8: NO FIXTURE
MD9: H v ALG D 0-0 (The Mound, Secklow)
MD10: H v TLM W 2-1 (ArenaWest, Aigburth)
MD11: H v GEI D 2-2 (Denbigh Park, Ousevale)
MD12: H v TYN L 0-1 (Mellion Lane, Davisham)
MD13: A v TLC W 3-0
MD14: A v TUR ?????

Mr Chuck Norris

11-05-2006, 00:40

Chuck Norris News
For All Of Your Fighting Norris Coverage

HOLY CRAP! Wait until all of you viewers see the score of this one.

Mr Chuck Norris 5 (Chuck Norris 4, 9, 16, 25, 36)
Slakaj 0

That's right! Chuck Norris, after missing a couple of matches following an injury in matchday 10 game against Bettia, came back in flying colors. By only the 36th minute he had struck not one time, not two, nor three or four, but FIVE times!

The "five-forward" Fighting Norris offense proved to be more effective than ever, converting what seemed to be every charge downfield. Even right from the start of the match, they were charging. OJ Pimpson and The Burger King, with a revived confidence following the return of Chuck Norris, easily dismembered the Slakaj defense, leaving Chuck Norris one-on-one against the Slakaj goalkeeper several times throughout the match.

By the time that Chuck Norris earned his hat trick in the 16th minute, Slakaj's coach was observed leaving the field in shame. Coach of the Fighting Norris Bob Janney originally gave the forwards orders to fall back and play defensively, but this proved to be risky, so they were back on the offensive in the 20th minute. After Chuck Norris scored two more goals in the 25th and 36th minutes, the starters were pulled and the strategy was changed to an uncharacteristic all-out defense.

Suprisingly, the strategy actually worked as Slakaj was unable to score for the entire remainder of the match. That's right, you didn't hear us wrong, there wasn't a single goal scored after Chuck Norris' in the 36th minute. The score at the end of the match was 5-0 in the Fighting Norris' favor and our beloved squad walked off the field in high spirits.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Quite the match if you ask me! Bob Janney here and I couldn't be happier right now. It's true that we didn't qualify, but are we expected to? Probably not. Sadly, I've received news that Bettia's 2-1 win over Five Civilized Nations and Squornshelous' 4-0 victory over Cuation has finalized our group. Squornshelous has earned the first qualification spot and Bettia earned the second. Although our Fighting Norris could conceivably finish third in the group, I expect us to finish fourth behin Cuation. Five Civilized Nations are likely to finish fifth with Burning Peguins in sixth and Slakaj in seventh. Since there isn't any group analysis to do in our group, I'll do some from around the tourney.

The following groups have the two qualifications spots clinched already:
Group 1 (Bedistan and Hypocria)
Group 3 (Starblaydia and Praying2God)
Group 4 (Squornshelous and Bettia)
Group 5 (Audioslavia and The Islands of Qutar)
Group 6 (Hockey Canada and Haraki)
Group 11 (Sarzonia and Milchama)
Group 13 (Tadjikistan and Spruitland)
Group 14 (Casari and Commerce Heights)

Group 2 has only the second spot open (the first being clinched by Liverpool England). Dance 2 Revolution and Kaze Progressa both currently have eighteen points whilst Vilita is right behind with 16 points. Two matches affect the outcome of this group: Liverpool England at Vilita and Kaze Progressa at Dance 2 Revolution. The only way that Vilita can qualify is if they win and Kaze Progressa/Dance 2 Revolution tie one another. Should Vilita not win and Kaze Progressa/Dance 2 Revolution draw, a complex set of tiebreakers ensue as the two teams have an equal goal difference. However, if the Kaze Progressa/Dance 2 Revolution match has a winner, the winner will qualify.

Group 7 also has only the second spot open (the first being clinched by Andossa Se Mitrin Vega). Jerusalem is currently set to qualify with 21 points, but Kericia and Becquerelia are close behind with 18 points a piece. Jerusalem will visit Andossa Se Mitrin Vega and Kericia will visit Bequerelia on the final matchday. If the Bequerelia/Kericia match ends in a draw, Jeruslaem qualifies reguardless of the outcome of their match. However, if the aforementioned match produces a winner and Jerusalem loses, it comes down to a goal difference. If Jerusalem loses and Bequerelia wins, the number of goals Jerusalem loses by plus the number of goals Bequerelia wins by must equal 7 for Jerusalem's qualification to be challenged by Bequerelia. Should Jerusalem lose and Kericia win, the number of goals Jerusalem loses by plus the number of goals Kericia wins by must equal 3 for Kericia's uncontested qualification. Should the sum be only two, tiebreakers ensue. Complicated I know, but it's bound to be one intense last matchday in this group.

In group 8, the first qualification spot has been conquered by Rejistania, but the second is still up in the air between Ariddia (with 19 points) and Elrich (with 17 points). Oddly enough, these two teams face off on the last matchday. If a draw occurs, Ariddia qualifies. Otherwise, the winner of the Ariddia/Elrich match qualifies. Simple, but just as intense as group 7.

Group 9 is tighter than most with Oliverry in first place with 21 points and the second spot up between three teams. Currently, Tinsuvilia has 18 points and is set to qualify while Schiavonia and McPsychoville are right behind with 17 points. This group gets messy. Tinsuvilia has a bye on the final matchday, Oliverry visits Schiavonia, and McPsychoville visits underperforming Kelse. We're going to try something new with this one. The name that appears at the intersection of the two true statements is who qualifies. For example, if both Schiavonia and McPsychoville win, Schiabonia will qualify.
Schiavonia win Schiavonia draw Schiavonia lose
McPsychoville win Schiavonia McPsychoville McPsychoville

McPsychoville draw Schiavonia Schiavonia Tiebreaking

McPsychoville lose Schiavonia Schiavonia Tinsuvilia

I'm not about to try to express all of that in English, hopefully everyone watching can understand that chart.

In Group 10, Total n Utter Insanity has already locked up the first spot, but Nedalia (21 points) and Chicanada (18 points) are vying for the second. This is the easiest conclusion yet, unless Nedalia loses and Chicanada wins, Nedalia qualifies. Otherwise, Chicanada will qualify on a goal difference.

Group 12 is a suprisingly complex group to judge with Fmjphoenix already in one of the spots and Cataduanes (20 points) and Wentland (18 points) fighting for the other. If Wentland doesn't win against Fmjphoenix, Cataduanes is in. However, if Wentland does win, then Cataduanes must also win to undisputedly qualify. Should Cataduanes forge a draw with Bazalonia (assuming that Wentland wins), then a goal difference tiebreaker will ensue. If Wentland beats Fmjphoenix by four or more goals in the aforementioned case, they qualify. If they only win by two or less in the aforementioned case, Cataduanes qualifies. If they win by three goals in the aforementioned case, tiebreaking procedures are used. If Wentland wins and Cataduanes doesn't, Wentland is in.

Last but not least, Group 15! Currently, three teams (Krytenia with 21 points, Turori with 20 points, and The Lowland Clans with 19 points) are battling for the two qualification spots. Since Krytenia plays Turori, this gets quite complicated. If The Lowland Clans draw or lose to Tynelia, Krytenia and Turori are in. However, if the Lowland Clans win, they're in. In that case the second spot would go to the winner of the Krytenia/Turori match (a draw results in Krytenia's qualification). Maybe that wasn't so bad.

Anyway, with my anal group analysis aside, I plead that all of you crazy Fighting Norris fans stay faithful to our squad and continue to root for them as they play thier final match of World Cup 28 next week against Burning Penguins."

World Cup 28 Schedule of the Fighting Norris:
Matchday 1: Vs. Five Civilized Nations (Won 4-2)
Matchday 2: Vs. Squornshelous (Loss 0-2)
Matchday 3: At Bettia (Won 3-1)
Matchday 4: At Cuation (Loss 1-3)
Matchday 5: On Bye
Matchday 6: Vs. Slakaj (Won 1-0)
Matchday 7: Vs. Burning Penguins (Draw 2-2)
Matchday 8: At Five Civilized Nations (Won 4-1)
Matchday 9: At Squornshelous (Loss 1-4)
Matchday 10: Vs. Bettia (Loss 1-3)
Matchday 11: Vs. Cuation (Loss 2-3)
Matchday 12: On Bye
Matchday 13: At Slajak (Won 5-0)
Matchday 14: At Burning Penguins

Fighting Norris World Cup 28 Record: (5-1-5)

NationStates Jolt Archive

World Cup 28 RP Thread - Page 2