World Cup 20 - Roleplay Thread [Archive] - Page 3

Krytenia

02-02-2005, 15:08

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST
DRUIDA/PEDRIANA/MARLIGANTIS EDITION

Unfinished Business

THE atmosphere was charged. The teams were more than fired up. The Krytenian fans had even managed to smuggle some inflatable llamas in from neighbouring Pedriana. And all this before the kick-off. What a return to World Cup football!

Lethislavania's threats to "Kill Krytenia" didn't seem to materialise in the first twenty minutes of the game, neither side really commiting themselves to the play, and the ball spending a lot of time in the midfield. The one chance of this period fell to Cel Karra, who blasted his chance well wide of Vernazza's goal.

On twenty-three minutes, though, was the first flashpoint of the game. As Ashley Moreaux made a bursting run through the middle towards the Lethislavanian goal, he was scythed down from behind by a cynical challenge from Alex Karnesky. The referee had no hesitation, and no choice, and the mandatory red card followed. For Moreaux, though, a badly gashed shin was the end of his game, and he's touch-and-go for the Spaam game too. It also meant a free kick. And that meant only one player: Dave Van Staveren. His curling shot whipped round and over the wall, beating the keeper. One-nil, and that's how it stayed until half-time.

Krytenia attempted to smother the game in the second half, and it almost worked. However, on seventy-two minutes, they let the Fighting Greens in, and they took that chance. Though Karra was finding himself very tightly marked by Valacci, he was still able to knock it back to Peltier. He switched it to the left to Thomas Boeing. Boeing is the maverick of the Lethislavanian side, capable of both sublime brilliance, and dire embarrassment. This was about to be a bit of the former. He looked up, saw the keeper had advanced towards the play, and chipped the ball. It whizzed tantalisingly out of Vernazza's reach, bounced once, and nestled in the back of the net.

One-all the final score then, honours even in a game expected to be far less than honourable. It's also a result that leaves Group G wide open, and it's still anyone's tournament here. It's off to Trevor next as the Celestials play Spaam.

MARGARET X. SN38-2005.

KRYTENIA.................1
Van Staveren 24
LETHISLAVANIA.........1
Boeing 78

QUALIFIERS
H v LWF : W 2-1 (Downhead Park, Kallia)
A v OCE : D 1-1
H v PTE : D 0-0 (Sixways Stadium, Avidia)
A v LAM : W 3-0
A v SHB : D 1-1
H v REJ : W 3-2 (Davis Memorial Stadium, Everton City)
A v EAZ : L 1-2
A v LWF : W 4-2
H v OCE : W 2-0 (Mellion Lane, Davisham)
A v PTE : D 2-2
H v LAM : W 1-0 (Oxley Park, Everton City)
H v SHB : D 1-1 (New Coalfields, New Osteria)
A v REJ : W 2-0
H v EAZ : D 0-0 (Davis Memorial Stadium, Everton City)

FINALS
N v LTH : D 1-1 (Dave Dome, Dave, Druida)
N v SPM : ????? (Trevor Gardens, Trevor, Druida)
N v CRY : ????? (Anwir Cymru Arms, Llllllllllcwllllllll, Druida)

Starblaydia

02-02-2005, 16:20

"Crap! It's crap, I tell you! Just look at that headline!"

Starblaydia fail to make headway against Svecia
'0-0 Gives Us a Hunger for Goals'

"'Hunger for Goals'?" Nikola Lazerevski was absolutely livid. "We were starving for goals before this World Cup came along, a Nil-Nil against bloody Svecia! Je-sus!"

"I'm under a lot of pressure in those Press Conferences, Nik," Guylain protested, "I had to think of something."

"Well engage your brain first, next time," Nikola sneered, "we've got some of the finest strikers this side of... the bloody moon... and we couldn't put a single goal past Svecia! Just what kind of training regime are you running?"

"The same one as when I trained as a striker," Guylain replied, knowing it was the wrong thing to say as soon as it left his mouth.

"When you were a striker?" 'Laser' Lazerevski exploded at that comment. "You scored a grand total of four goals for Starblaydia, and bugger all for Jhanna City, you tubby bastard, don't get me started on your cack-handed training regimes."

Guylain was silenced by that.

"Now," Nikola continued, "I'm going to be giving the orders for the Belmore Family match, and I'll show you how to make a useful substitution, rather than just bringing on Menegroth to 'toughen up the midfield' in every god-damn situation. You waste of space, get out of my sight."

Sarzonia

02-02-2005, 16:33

Stars, D2R tango but don't score

Five senior World Cup and eight Under 21 World Cup qualifying campaigns into their existence, the Sarzonian national teams had never faced Dance 2 Revolution on the football pitch, but in the last few days, both teams ended those droughts. In eerily similar circumstances, both teams walked off the pitch with 0-0 results, depriving the higher-rated team of two standings points while the lower seed could continue to dream of bigger things to come.

"I can't figure that one out, I leave that up to you guys," Coach Dave Wilson said. "All these years into our football existence, we face those guys in the senior game and the junior game for the first time and we pretty much play identical games with two different sets of players. It's weird."

While the Junior Stars are one of the world's elite teams and made a run to the semifinals of the previous Under 21 World Cup, the senior Stars are perenially on the cusp of greatness, but have faced difficult draws in each of its first two World Cups. Wilson said the team wasn't going to mope about the position it was in and he was right.

"We went out there believing we had a fighting chance to win and we gave ourselves that," Wilson said. "That was not the first time we earned a draw against a top-ranked side, though," he added. During World Cup 18 qualifying, the Stars earned a 2-2 draw against the System Karela playing Rejistania Orange-Blues at Hendrix Stadium in Woodstock. Earning a scoreless draw in a neutral site might have been a more impressive feat, however.

"They had to face at least a third of the stadium full of D2R supporters," Jeff Berzed, a lawyer for I Can't Believe It's A Law Firm in Pensacola, Somerset. "There was a third of the stadium full of Stars fans and another third neutral. When they saw the Stars weren't going to lie down, the neutrals started getting behind us, except for those damn Starblaydi bastards."

The Stars will face ninth-ranked Kaze Progressa in the second match of the group stage. The teams met in the World Cup XIX and also played to a goalless draw. Sarzonia's colony in Talzeckia played Kaze Progressa twice and earned a win and a draw against Kaze Progressa. Wilson said his team would look at the tapes to see if there was something he could draw from the match.

"Absolutely," Wilson said. "They must have found something. They play pretty much the same system we do, so if their players can figure something out, we might be able to learn from that."

Cockbill Street

02-02-2005, 17:30

Ankh-Morpork C-mail

OUCH!
Where On Earth Did Karela Go?

Remember Milauo Slietah? The guy who went to Cockbill Street some years ago in the Cup of Harmony and netted a hat-trick against Starblaydia? Well, at Port Scadock today, it happened again. The System Karela - which is supposed to guarantee no goals conceded - was let down because the Turorians thought of the clever trick to have their goalkeeper go up on everything - reasoning that System Karela wouldn't allow the Streeters to get the ball over the half-way line - and that, somehow, seemed to help.

Slietah then proceeds to take a run up and drop-kicks the ball high, high into the air....Then, on the TV pictures, we see the white ball flash onto the screen and billow the Starblaydi net, beyond the leap of Da Silva.
<snip>

Slietah does something strange and sprints up for the corner, won by Cuolia Tuirma. Some of the more aware Turorians yell at the 'keeper to get back, but he's not having any of it. As the corner is whipped in, no one sees him sneak in at the near post and bullet header the ball in off the inside of the woodwork.
<snip>

Once more Slietah sprinted up from the back and demanded to take the penalty. This ego-maniac wanted his hat-trick, and he duely got it by smashing the ball past Da Silva's dive.

Slietah scored the first goal of the match with a cracking shot from thirty-five metres, after a hopeless clearance from Widdleston had landed in his chest. Even though that was just 0-1, this Streetian team seemed completely unused to any kind of bad luck or poor performance. The goals just ran in, and the Turorian prediction was right - the only Streetian goal coming off a 90-yard clearance that bounced off Raoibn Olioab and into the back of the net. But by then, the Turorians were four goals ahead, Slietah heading in a corner and then wrapping up the hat-trick with a free-kick.

With 1-4, the tournament is all but ruined for the Street after one game - just like four years ago. The Street need to beat Lovisa and Rejistania to have any chance of qualification, as the other Karela-team in the group eased past Lovisa with 2-1 and is probably going to beat Lovisa on the last matchday. It would take somewhat of a miracle to beat the Rejistanians, the mentors of Kansu Lyku, but that miracle is required to prove the Ketchup Times right and send the Streeters through to the second round.

Audioslavia

02-02-2005, 19:46

'Slaves Spanked by Stars
Appalling recent record unaffected by the start of the World Cup Finals

This new system, 'Total Football', just isn't working any more. For seven beautiful games the 'slaves were unbeatable, winning all of them comfortably and all but qualifying for the World Cup halfway through qualifying.

However, teams got wise to the tactic, and the 'slaves haven't had so much as a glimpse of that previous form.

The defeat by The Lowland Clans on Saturday means that Audioslavia have now just won two games from their last eight. Not the form of a side that spent three years ranked number 1 in the world (before being displaced by D2R) and has spent THIRTY-SIX years in the top ten.

Dave Mill HAS to make changes for the next game. Perhaps reverting back to Audioslavia's usual 3-5-2 or 4-4-2 formations.

The 'slaves midfield and defence were over-run and outplayed during that abysmal spell at the end of the first half which saw them ship three goals, though luckily one of those was called offside.

2-0 down at the break, the 'slaves seemed incapable of making a comeback and it wasn't until the 85th minute - far too late by any teams standards - where the 'slaves would finally score, young Aron Ceulemans scoring a header from what was the 'slaves second corner of the game.

Ideally the goal would have lead to a frantic attack on the oppositions goal, but instead they seemed to run out of ideas and the Clanners were allowed to run the clock down to get the win.

This victory gives The Lowland Clans some revenge for World Cup 17, in which an already-qualified Audioslavia team denied them a place in the second round thanks to a goal in the last minute which made the game 3-2 in Audioslavia's favour.

This result leaves the 'slaves needing to string together two good performances against Liverpool England and Bedistan to have a chance of qualifying. A win against LE would help a lot as Bedistan are expected to be tougher customers in the final game. They've left themselves an almighty task, but it should be more than possible for the 'slaves to progress.

G'nite bitches.

Dance 2 Revolution

02-02-2005, 22:26

D2R held

0-0 Draw does little for either team

Dance 2 Revolution walked out of Obsidian Palace with just 1 point, after fielding a team which would have made even Sarzonian fans think that D2R would leave with all 3.

However the Sarzonian team was not so confident, and put a sturdy resistance, and the 'minnows' of the group managed to get the neutral fans on to D2Rs back. This disturbed the team, and though Sarzonia must take the most credit for a spirited display, the D2R team is partiallly to blame for not taking advantage of opportunities that arose.

Full Time:
Dance 2 Revolution 0
Sarzonia 0

Next Match: D2R will play against Melmond on match day 2. Melmond rampaged through Kaze Progressa 2-0 in the first fixture, and will be looking to elaborate on that win. D2R, however, will be looking to win as an apology to the D2R fans.

Bedistan

02-02-2005, 23:07

The Bedistan Sports Digest
World Cup Edition

Top story:
WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The curse is broken!

CORINTH, Starblaydia -- Bedistan and Liverpool England. Quite possibly one of the greatest rivalries in the history of NationStates football, and a definite sore point for any Bedistani football fan. The most recent meeting between the two teams had resulted in a 1-0 win for LE in the second round of World Cup 17. And there was the nil-all draw in the group stage of World Cup 10. What hurt much more than that, though, was an embarrassing 2-1 defeat in the third place playoff of World Cup 9. And of course, all those pale in comparison to the first time Bedistan and LE met. Holmes Stadium in Columbia, Bedistan's capital, was the site of the championship match in World Cup 8. Bedistan was the first host nation to ever reach the final, and they were joined by Liverpool England, who were severe underdogs ranked number twenty-something in the world. The Lions (as the Bedistani team was known prior to WC20) were humiliated. 3-1 was the final score, with Liverpool England pulling the World Cup out from under our proverbial feet.

Four times the two had met, with LE taking three wins and Bedistan none. Bedistani football fans cringed when they saw Liverpool England drawn into their World Cup 20 group. Could their team finally break the curse?

Now was the time to find out.

The Terminators had been having a bad run of form over the last decade, much like the Bedistani team. But a casual observer wouldn't have known it upon seeing this match. Any uninformed individual might have told you it was the World Cup final, based on the level of play shown at Silverlands today. Everything was flawless, but it looked like tradition was going to continue. Stephen Merrill made a fantastic run on the box in the 14th minute, taking a shot from fourteen yards out. Nick Reagan played like a world-class goalkeeper should, parrying the shot a good while before it would have entered the net. But luck was not on his side, as Joseph Cummings just happened to be in the right place at the right time. He gave the ball a chip over Reagan's head that came back down to earth just in time to cross the goal line and give LE an early 1-0 lead.

Green-and-blue-clad supporters throughout the northern half of the stadium gave a collective sigh, certain that the curse would not be broken this year and already mentally preparing for the next match against the Lowland Clans. They were surprised, though, by the Green-Blues' failure to show the same emotion, as they continued to thwart all further Terminator attempts to extend their lead in the first half while also taking a couple shots of their own - indeed, Kyle Dean's 32nd-minute screamer would've equalized it had the Krytenian referee not ruled him offside. The score remained 1-0, Liverpool England, at the halftime break.

Team coach Mike Davidson was upbeat. "This is not a lost game yet, by any stretch of the imagination. We're only down one goal, we've got 45 minutes to play, and our guys and gals are looking stronger than ever. There is no doubt in my mind that we can come back and win this thing," he commented on his way to the locker room for the halftime pep talk.

During the second half, it became apparent that some of the Liverpool England players were beginning to tire a bit. Defender Mike Burkholder came on as a substitute for Jeremy Kidder, and Fred Haas replaced Keith Burr at midfield. This did provide some rejuvenation for the Terminator side, but there were nevertheless a few gaps in their play in the second half. Very small, even minuscule, you might say, but they were there nevertheless. George Washburn was able to take advantage of one in the 65th minute when a Timothy Dennard pass missed its intended recipient, Frank Kushner. Washburn intercepted the ball mid-pass and made a run on goal. David Thompson made an admirable effort, but he couldn't prevent the equalizer. The north half of the stadium went wild as the score became 1-1.

But time was running out, and although it looked like the Green-Blues would manage to prevent another embarrassing loss, they weren't going to get that long-awaited win. The fourth official indicated three minutes of added time. Bedistan had been holding the ball back for the last couple minutes in an attempt to lure LE into thinking that they would settle for the draw, but then came an explosion as Tara Pullman passed up to Thomas Mannheim, who played the ball up the right-hand side to Vanessa Carpenter. Carpenter, Bedistan's leading scorer in qualifying, now held the most important task in Bedistani football history: score the winning goal against Liverpool England. She took aim from sixteen yards, and the arena was absolutely silent as the ball hit the back of the net. There was a full three seconds of silence afterward, followed by an enormous roar that could be heard as far away as Cockbill Street. They'd done it. They'd won.

The final whistle blew, though not a soul could hear it over the incredible amount of shouting from the Bedistani fans. Vanessa Carpenter was the new national hero. For she had broken the curse.

FINAL SCORE:
Bedistan 2 (Washburn 65, Carpenter 90+2)
Liverpool England 1 (Cummings 14)

The Bedistan Legislature has proposed that today be named an official national holiday. The measure is expected to pass with near-unanimous support.

Meanwhile, in other Group B news, the Lowland Clans shocked the world by defeating Audioslavia by the same score. Thus, Bedistan and TLC, who were expected to be at the bottom of the group after matchday 1, instead lead it. The two winners of today's matches face off next time.

The Eagles Nest

02-02-2005, 23:09

TEN ties Jeruselem at 1

Harder Games Now To Come

*we return to the scene of the TV studio*

*TV guy 1 runs in* They tied it in the 80th minute. We salvage a tie against the game that of the three was the easiest to win. At least we didn't lose. It's going to be a bad day for the Birds tomorrow, it's *THUNK*

TV2:Geez, why'd you do that? I thought we all agreed we weren't going to THUNK everyone this time.

TV3: only the ones who can stay calm and report the news. Ready to go on air?

TV2: I guess.

TV3: *begins countdown and points*

TV2: The Strike Birds has once again had a lackluster first match in World Cup Play, tying Jeruselem on a late goal at 1 apiece. No word on the Eauz-Vilita match. *begins to quiver* The Brids now have to play two teams that are tough opponents , and *twitch* willg et run out of the cup in a blaze of doom and despair in this group of *THUNK*

*commercial break, cheesy music, fade back to:

TV4: The team will rest up tonight before returning to practice tomorrow. Then they will play. *looks around scared, and then just runs before the *THUNK* happens.*

*commercial break, worse cheesy music, fade back to*

TV5: *looks down at the news report, looks up, gets a mad grin and giggles. *THUNK*

*commercial break, cheesy music played backwards*

TV6: In other news today, we are getting death threats about the cheesy music. Please stop or else the authorities will track you down and crush you...much like our beloved Strike Birds will be crushed during the next two gam*THUNK THUNK THUNK* *THUNK*

*TV2 pokes his head on screen* Sorry guys, we can't seem to keep things under control tonight. We'll show a rerun of Enemies, and hopefully have things calmed down by 10.

Rejistania

03-02-2005, 01:05

Sirake Tekim: Hejida listeners, you are listening to "Live from the cup" here on

Jingle: Radio RejisCAST, your news source in English!

ST: Yeah, finally we have a flashy jingle. For us in Druida is Kansu Siki, Hejida Kansu!

KS: Hejida Sirake!

ST: How is the situation in Druida?

KS: Do you know the proverb: "Prepare for the worst so you will not be deceived"?

ST: I do in Rejistanian.

KS: Well, it's the best way to describe the mood among Rejistanian fans. They expect to go out in this group of death.

ST: I can understand that... Group H is a challenge

KS: Small advice, 'is a challenge' is no adequate translation of ''demen mesu-ma'.

ST: So, how call it?

KS: The idiomatic translation is 'a group of death'...

ST: Idiotic?

KS: idiomatic translation, that means translating things more inexact but in a way, that foreigners understand what you mean.

ST: like?

KS: 'Mesu-ma' is translated as "visible" but a 'sono mesuma' is a 'high' or 'clear' loss.

ST: Don't mention it.

KS: I was not relating to Lovisa, it just came to mind second.

ST: Second? What came first?

KS: That's not for state radio.

ST: that's a pity.

KS: I will tell you in half time provided we have a connection then.

ST: So you won't tell me?

KS: What do you mean, the connection works just fi--- (connection ceases)

ST: Kansu? Kansu???? Well, he caused it...

(30th minute)
ST: let's do another attempt to switch to Druida, Kansu?

KS: SSSSSSSSSSLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIII!

ST: How high?

KS: 0:1, just happened.

ST: How did it happen?

KS: Free kick by ... Mariusz Palczuk, header by, well, ... Miroslaw Szymkowiak, misreaction by Menik Hisda.

ST: Slani, indeed.

(88th minute)
KS: We are still trailing 0:1 and I can be honest now, it doesn't look well for us...

ST: We have only 2 minutes?

KS: We do have 3 if we include the most likely short injury time. Oh, the Orange-Blues try another desperate attack SyDe has the ball---(connection ceases)

(a while after the match)
ST: Yes, listeners, we have news from Druida: Rejistania defeated Lovisa 2:1.

The result:
Lovisa 1 (Szymkowiak)
Rejistania 2 (Lyku, Minikse)

Squornshelous

03-02-2005, 01:29

Loss is "Unacceptable"

Squornshelous falls to Nova Brittanicus

The Pschychoes played very poorly in their first game in Starblaydia for World Cup 20. PLayed at Hallad City Stadium, it should have been a good close game, but a win for the Pschychoes. It turned out to be a badly played game, with numerous fouls and bad plays by both sides, that lead to a 2-1 loss. The game started well enough for Squornshelous, with Trevor Gerrard putting in a 28th minute goal. He managed to beat Philip Farely in front of the box and fired just past Henry Tuckworth's fingertips. Later in the first half, a slightly off target shot from Alexander Popov struck the referee in the head. It was at that point, according to Squornshelan fans at least, that the game began to turn against the Pschychoes. A slide tackle by Craig Snell in the 42nd minute that knocked over Wilbert Willis but also sent the ball flying into the stands was awarded with a foul, when Snell complained, he waas shown a yellow card. As the second half opened, a tackle by Devin Green in the 48th that seemed perfectly legal resulted in a foul, and on the ensuing kick, taken by Charlie Bowman, went in off the head of Royal Seaford. Three minutes later another tackle by Snell brought a whistle from the ref. As Snell turned and saw him reach for his pocket again he went nuts, screaming in a voice that rang clear through the stadium, much to the dismay of mothers with small children. Snell was given his second yellow and sent off, to be replaced by Yanni Zikov, who as soon as the ref's back was turned, flipped him a bird. Later, in the 58th, Zikov recieved a yellow card and was taken out in favor of Tommy Reynolds. Finally, in the 73rd, the final blow was struck. On a corner kick for NB, Sven Eriksson went up and headed the ball out of the box, leaning forward over Royal Seaford's shoulder to do so. Seaford and Eriksson both fell to the ground as a results and the referee's whistle sounded again. Eriksson, who couldn't belive it began to yell at the ref, and was joined by his twin brother Ole. Feeling himself losing control of the match, the ref yellow carded both of them and Gregori Petchukov and Sam Fletcher had to come on until the kickoff, follwing Charlie Bowman burrying the PK in the back of the net. Squornshelous played unfocusedly for the rest of the game.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 1-2 Nova Brittanicus

Scoring Summary:
SQ: Gerrard [28]
NB: Seaford [48]
NB: C. Bowman P [73]

Booking Summary:
SQ: Snell [42]
SQ: Snell [51]
SQ: Zikov [58]
SQ: S. Eriksson [73]
SQ: O. Eriksson [73]

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Gerrard: 13
Popov: 9
Arnesson: 7
Washington: 3

Svecia

03-02-2005, 03:31

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING
Scoreless bore of a match greets high paying fans at opening match, but players happy with result against hosts

Starblaydia 0 Svecia 0

- Could there be any worse way to start off the finals than by watching the host team be booed by their fans? Or to have the other team´s fans boo as well?

Despite the flashy and spectacular preceeding ceremonies to the much anticipated opening match in Starblaydia, the game itself was a complete bore. "I could have payed Hd700 (~400€) and gone to see a couple of rock groups, or have gone to see the fireworks show in Bäverborg on Unity Day and it would have been just the same. The opening ceremonies were amazing, but the game certainly was a let down." said disgruntled fan Erik E. of Bäverborg.

After a sparkly presentation with bright lights and large puppets, the teams took to the field with the fans puzzling over why the producers exploded large styrofoam stars on the playing field. The Svecian fans cheered every time one was blasted apart, obviously taking that as symbolism of their team´s hopeful success over the next 90 minutes.

Unfortunately the only thing being destroyed over the next two hours was the fans´ hopes of an entertaining match. There wasn´t even a shot, much less on goal, until the 23rd minute, when Fabian Mertesacker got fed up and launched a rocket from 32 yards out that looked like he was kicking off and American football game. The crowd had a fun time knocking it around like a beachball until it hit a security guard in the face and was returned to the field of play.

The two teams ended the half with a combined shot total of 4 with Mattias Prika making the only save of the half after he picked up a weak shot that probably wouldn´t have rolled into the goal anyway. The second half wasn´t much better. Neither offense could make its way around, through, over, and especially not under the other team´s defense. Another 6 shots were taken the second half total for both teams, which set a World Cup finals record for least shots taken in a match. For the most part, the game was a lot of passing in the middle of the pitch - not a lot of pressure either until the ball crossed into one or the other team´s third, and then the defense would clear it out.

But despite the lack of goals, the Svecikan players were quite happy with the result. "Anytime you go into someone else´s stadium, its going to be a tough match" said Svecian keeper Prika. "I think we got lucky, because Starblaydia definitely didn´t have a lack of support here tonight."

Lucky? Well, we all had faith the the Lightning could steal a point from the home side. There was a foreign paper that predicted the result correctly, too, for a change. We´d like to acknowledge Liverpool England (although none of the writers are big fans of those two teams) for their not only optomistic, but also correct prediction. Svecians know those types of predictions are hard to come by when your team wears orange.

Adam Island

03-02-2005, 05:04

Adam Island Loses Heartbreaker
http://adamisland.blogspirit.com/archive/2005/02/02/adam_island_loses_heartbreaker.html

Not since Game 8 of the WC XIX Qualifiers has Adam Island played so well against a team ranked in the top 5. But not since the Baptism of Fire has Adam Island suffered such a devestating loss in a game they might have won.

At beautiful Bekkside Stadium in Tabeck, Starblaydia, Adam Island geared up for the toughest match of their World Cup XX group schedule, against #4 ranked Total n Utter Insanity, football legend and host of the Under-21 Cup.

Adam Island dominated in the first half of the match, as Jerilyn Pratt attempted 5 shots on goal and Ted Coelho and Guy Sealis contributed with 3 each of their own. But they all seemed to take bad luck bounces- narrowly off the crossbar, hitting the napping keeper in the back of the head and bouncing out, or a 40-footer that misses the net by an inch. Late in the first half, Pratt shot a goal straight through the net-- just after the official blew his whistle to give midfielder Leeann Bernet a yellow card.

After the half, Adam Island came back onto the field frustrated and angry. They began to make simple mistakes, and defender Jami Sulyard from Adam County made an absent-minded handball down by the net, giving Total n Utter Insanity a made penalty shot and the 1-0 lead.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v20/spartacus_007/Adam%20Island/WCXX.png
Adam Island sports their special green World Cup uniforms as they tangle with TNUI in Bekkside Stadium

Adam Island continued to play aggresively, and Sealis evaded tackles left and right but somehow could not get the ball into the net.

Finally, time ran out and Total n Utter Insanity came away with the win. Adam Island had obviously outplayed the superior team, keeping the ball on the TNUI side of the field over 78% of the time. But somehow they came up short, and left the first Cup game empty-handed.

Eauz

03-02-2005, 05:48

Eauz stays undefeated

Joseuf and Devereux, a couple of Eauz stars, fooling around before the match against Vilita at the stadium of New Road in the Durida city of Bessburg. There was not a large group on hand for this one, despite it being a couple of great teams. The recorded number of fans on hand for this one, was recorded at 18,392. Fortunately for Eauz, there were a lot of Eauz fans on hand with flags and chants. Before the match started, they had a moment of silent for the passing away of Rousoi. In his place was Bedeau, who had been on a hot streak, having only given up 8 goals during the while qualifying round. They would need him to be on his top game for this match. The last time these two teams met, was during last world cups group stage, where Vilita snuck out a 3 – 2 victory over Les Bleus. Eauz was looking to get some revenge this time against Vilita.

We pick this one up at the 11th minute, as Vilita was on the attack. A long pass towards the net was deflected by Boulongeur, but it was once again picked up by a Vilitan attacker. A shot was taken, which was blocked by Bedeau, but the ball went back into play. Another Vilitan player got the ball, shooting towards and open net. Bedeau had no chance, but fortunately, the ball sailed over the net. A close call for Eauz and their defence. Bedeau called over a few of his defenders, to talk to them to straiten up and play better. Moving towards the 30th minute of play, both teams were playing at full strength and there was no one dominate side. Vilita though got a short attack, with 4 attackers going towards the net. One of the players got the ball and took a shot, which looked pretty easy to save, but it deflected off of a Vilitan forwards foot, and went to the far side of the net. Bedeau had no chance, and Vilita went up 1 – 0, on the trick goal. Les Bleus wanted to get back in this as fast as possible, as quickly off that goal, Les Bleus had a strong attack going. Alia was calling for the ball, but Vasser passed it over to Lacavailler who let a shot rip. It clanked off the uprights, and back into play. Rousseau fought for the ball, and it went out on a Vilitan defender. Eauz received their first corner, as Vasser sent a rocket towards the group. Alia jumped, and headed it, but a Vilitan defender was in the way, and prevented the ball from going in.

At half time, Vilita was still leading 1 – 0. Eauz fans were disappointed, but still had hope that their team would be back in the second half. They saw that their team had some spirit, and blamed the Vilitan goal on a mishap that wouldn’t have gone in anyways.

The Second half arrived as Eauz started to show their dominate selves, as straight away, Eauz put on an attack on the strong Vilitan defence. This time, Vasser was leading the group, and controlling who went where. He sent a pass towards D'Aubigne, who sent a long shot towards the net, it was handled easily by the Vilitan keeper though. Eauz came back though at the 60th minute, Alia received a pass and cut himself through the strong Vilitan defence. He let go of a shot, which sailed pass the Vilitan keeper, tying the match at 1 – 1. Both teams seemed to cancel each other out after that Eauz goal, as they wanted to ensure that they both got at least a point. The match finished off at the same 1 – 1 score, giving both teams 1 point. From reports of the other match, they also tied 1 – 1, thus all 4 teams are in the same position.

More information later…

Liverpool England

03-02-2005, 09:30

The Curse Is Broken, Indeed - Guess what else is!
Syku Lyku admits team morale is low

What can you do when your team have finally lost against someone they haven't done so in 4 previous meetings? Not much, it seems, as Liverpool England coach Syku Lyku is finding out. Bedistan, a team which Liverpool England had a 3-1-0 record against lasting back over half a century, finally managed to break that curse deep into stoppage time in Starblaydia yesterday, winning the game 2-1.

"The team [morale is low].... we haven't lost [to Bedistan] in over 50 years... it is imaginable how the team is feeling right now... I know I'm not too pleased with the result..."

FALE Chief Gareth Dussis, whose father Paul played in Liverpool England's 3-1 World Cup 8 final win over the same team, was obviously unhappy when speaking to the press, however, he said that no-one was to blame. "The ball went in from quite a ways out..... no one is to blame, although I am upset at the loss..... Dad (Paul) is also not happy, however we have to put this behind us and look forward to the Slaves."

Audioslavia, who Liverpool England will play next, also lost 2-1 on MatchDay 1.

One Red Dot

03-02-2005, 12:27

To:
Cc:
Bcc:
Subject:MD1

We've started off good by defeating The Belmore Family 2-1. Next up is against Svecia I think. If we get at least a draw with a high number of goals, then I think our chances of getting to the next round are promising. The last time ORD made the 2nd round was WC14 or 15? Somewhere around there.. I can't remember..

[Save as Draft] *click*

Jeruselem

03-02-2005, 12:51

Jeruselem Government News

One is better than zero but less then TEN

World Cup Group game for Jeruselem. It was against The Eagles Nest (aka TEN). Jeruselem have never won a group game and this didn't change either. TEN went ahead 1-0 and looked like winning the game towards the end. A late equalizer for Jeruselem gave them a 1-1 draw to help their campaign.

Pending the results of the other group games, a draw is useful but wins would be preferable but you can't be fussy. The Eagles Nest would be disappointed for losing two points but this is the business end of the World Cup. If Jeruselem manage a win for the next game, things will be interesting.

Druida

03-02-2005, 14:24

NEWI OF THE WORLD

Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po presents...
WORLD CUP DONKEYWATCH
A regular look at the hopeless and clueless in the footballing world.

This week: IANSISLE

We lost? To EL CID... sorry, El Cid The Hero!?!?! Disgraceful! And Iansisle are up next!?!?! What have we done to torture our own people by putting up such inadequate performances in front of them. And so, into picture come Iansisle, who started the tournament saying that they were already as good as out. Saves us saying it, I suppose...

In goal, number 1) James Goodman. Unfortunately for James here, only a "good man" by name. On the football pitch, "good" isn't really the best word to use to describe him once he puts on the gloves and starts prancing around in the Ians' goal.

2) Leonard Stater. Ageing defender who appears to have been around since the dawn of time.

3) Ernie MacDunn. Ageing defender who appears to have been around since the dawn of time.

4) Robbie Johnson. Ageing midfielder who appears to have been around since the dawn of... wait can anyone else see the theme that appears to be occuring here?

5) Sam Pear. Ageing midfielder who... Oh, sorry, force of habit. Sorry. Not that old professional benchwarmer most noteable for sharing his name with a fruit. In that way, he has something in common with former NEWI Cefn Druids star Horace Orange, Spurland striker Skeet Apple and little known Lovisan left-back Jerzi Goldndelicziosz

6) Henry Cotton. Aging forwards who appears to... I've already said this, haven't I?

7) Peter Card. Another benchwarmer, we here at the Daily Druid would like to know what card Peter here actually is. I've got one whole Druidan cwul resting on the two of clubs, while the editor thinks he will be a birthday card. Maybe he's a red card, and will come off the bench only to get sent off today. Or maybe not. Hat-trick tomorrow.

Next up: Commerce Heights. Unless the Ians knock us out tomorrow, then it'll probably be Druida.

Krytenia

03-02-2005, 17:57

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST
DRUIDA/PEDRIANA/MARLIGANTIS EDITION

Spaam Preview

EXPECT the unexpected. Krytenia will heed these words well in their upcoming game with Spaam, after the Spaamanians three-nil domination of reigning World Champions Crystilakere. The win makes Spaam surprise leaders of the group, with Krytenia tying with Lethislavania for second, and the Crystils flat bottom.

The Celestials were dealt a further blow with confirmation that Ashley Moreaux will definitely not be fit for tomorrow's game. Manager Alan Munitis has announced that Phillip Neasden will win his second cap in the game against Spaam, and his first start.

The team in full:

R - - - - - - - - - - - - - - VERNAZZA - - - - - - - - - - - - - - L

MOLIANO - CLAY - VALACCI - WARZYCHA

ZAVAROV - VAN STAVEREN - RENSHAW - PICARDO

RIMMER - NEASDEN

MARGARET X. SN38-2005.

QUALIFIERS
H v LWF : W 2-1 (Downhead Park, Kallia)
A v OCE : D 1-1
H v PTE : D 0-0 (Sixways Stadium, Avidia)
A v LAM : W 3-0
A v SHB : D 1-1
H v REJ : W 3-2 (Davis Memorial Stadium, Everton City)
A v EAZ : L 1-2
A v LWF : W 4-2
H v OCE : W 2-0 (Mellion Lane, Davisham)
A v PTE : D 2-2
H v LAM : W 1-0 (Oxley Park, Everton City)
H v SHB : D 1-1 (New Coalfields, New Osteria)
A v REJ : W 2-0
H v EAZ : D 0-0 (Davis Memorial Stadium, Everton City)

FINALS
N v LTH : D 1-1 (Dave Dome, Dave, Druida)
N v SPM : ????? (Trevor Gardens, Trevor, Druida)
N v CRY : ????? (Anwir Cymru Arms, Llllllllllcwllllllll, Druida)

Sarzonia

03-02-2005, 19:33

Stars hope to 'Progress' into next round

When word of 10th ranked Melmond's 2-0 victory over ninth ranked Kaze Progressa reached the Sarzonian national football team, the players in the locker room let out a collective groan. For a team that was buoyed by its inspired performance in holding the world's top-ranked Dance 2 Revolution side to a goalless draw, the news couldn't have been much worse.

"They're going to come in with fire in their eyes," Coach Dave Wilson said. "They're going to play like an angry side and we'd better be prepared to take their best shot or we're going to get left behind like we did against the Crystils."

The Stars are referring to the 4-1 drubbing that southern neighbors -- and eventual World Cup champions -- Crystilakere hung on them in the second match of World Cup XIX finals play. The Stars finished out the first round with a 1-0 loss to Melmond and exited the finals having gained only one point. Sarzonia are facing a much tougher road this time as far as rankings go, with Melmond being the closest team in rank to the Stars, who are 31st according to the latest world rankings.

"It's definitely going to be a challenge. This is definitely Group of Death material," goalkeeper Troy Perkins said. "We're going to face a Kaze Progressa team that's going to be playing with a sense of urgency and they're going to be thinking about their loss to Talzeckia, knowing that we play the same system they do."

For their high ranking, the Progressans have two draws in three matches against Sarzonia and Talzeckia. The then-unranked Tides dispatched Kaze Progressa during qualifying, a loss that nearly sent the team into a Cup of Harmony berth.

Wilson said the team will again start midfielder Henrik Bastale and send defensive midfielder Martin Overton to the bench, but Bastale will likely push forward when the Stars have the ball in the offensive end and play a 3-4-3 formation. Defensively, the team will look to frustrate Progressan strikers Sani Luvo and Guna Odmod by pressuring them when they have the ball.

"We can't just give them clear shots on goal," defender Mike Coyle said. "We have to make them earn their chances."

Vilita

03-02-2005, 20:29

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2.002 Billion Vilitans flock to Druida
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Vilita Goalscorers::
30' Riccardo Appolloni
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-------------------Following Vilita's opening 1-1 Draw with Eauz, the Vilitan National FA encouraged all Vilitan's to travel accross the straight to Druida and support their team in the important final two matches of the World Cup 20 Finals Group Stage. However, they did not expect the response that they received. Neither did the Druidan government. Sections of Druida have been overrun by the entire population of Vilita, all 2.002 Billion citizens, filling the streets like ants around an old disgarded apple. There has been no room to house the Billions of Vilitans and the Druidan government has urgently requested that those not holding tickets to upcoming matches leave the country and watch the games on the television. The Vilitan Government has proposed in principal to be agreed upon by the Druidan Government, that the two would combine to help fund the live screening of the matches against The Eagles Nest and Jeruselem at many local Football and Cricket stadiums on Turoki Isle, Druida and the Marligantian Province north of Druida.

Early this morning, one Vilitan was arrested in Druida for impersonating Riccardo Appolloni, the high-profile Vilita and Yeaddin Owls striker in top form, and responsible for opening the scoring against Eauz. There have surprisingly been no other reports of harmful interaction by the over 2 Billion Vilitan citizens in Druida.

Vilitan head coach Helmut Vilkaus will be sweating over the health of his primary goalkeeper, Jimmy Kater. Kater was substituted late in the match against Eauz after diving into the goalpost and it is feared he has suffered a concussion and a potentially bruised shoulder blade. Vilkaus was hopeful but not certain whether Kater would start, or who would start instead of Kater should it come to that, either experienced Strike FC Goalkeeper Bryan 'Pop' Duiker or budding Yeaddin Owls Goalie Delain Falcon, the same keeper that pushed Bryan 'Pop' Duiker out of the first choice position at Yeaddin.

Duiker's appearance in the match brought tears to the eyes of both Eauzian and Vilitan fans alike. Duiker, and Kater had worn a special goalkeeping top for the match similar to the one that former Strike FC goalkeeper and Eauz international Michel Rousoi had worn in his time at Strike before his untimely passing at the start of World Cup 20 qualifying. Bryan 'Pop' Duiker was the player who moved to Strike FC and finished the job that Michel Rousoi had tried many times to do, bring the Stellar Division title to Strike FC.

Full Time Analysis:

Vilita

Best Player: Jimmy Kater
Worst Player: Andrea Lamberti
Shots on Target: 3
Corner Kicks: 6

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Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Jimmy Kater, [D] Jaloey Afrikka, [D] Sibusiso Azaïez, [D] Andrea Lamberti, [DMC] Jürgen Ramzi, [ML] Santo Kecker, [MC] Tanner Nerni, [MC] Jacques Vintila, [MR] Maurizio Sala, [FC] Riccardo Appolloni, [FC] Callum Banda,
BENCH::
[FC] Serge DuPont, [FC] Carmine Mbidzo, [M] Antonis Siazzu, [M] Inaki Soler, [U] Calaesa Mitaroka, [D] Ricky Ezis, [GK] Bryan 'Pop' Duiker,

Vilita Substitutions::
(68) - Andrea Lamberti >>> Inaki Soler
(72) - Jimmy Kater >>> Bryan 'Pop' Duiker

Eauz

03-02-2005, 21:10

0 - 0 - 3

It can’t be hard to find the location for the match day 2 between Eauz and The Eagle’s Nest. The stadium is called Park Park in the beautiful city of Parkville. The stadium, despite it being another small stadium, holding 35,000. The stadium is full of luxuries and materialistic things. There are eight different languages and a monitor built into the seat in front of the spectator, but due to the fact that Starblaydia has a grudge for all things French, have forced Druida officials to take away the French translation. With word of this, many Eauz fans said they will be there to boo the stadium and the corruption of the Druida officials.

As fans will be filing into the stadium, there is a large number of them who are going to be holding signs and have shirts with 0’s on them, representing the 0 victories against Eauz that The Eagle’s Nest holds. The Eagle’s Nest will be hoping though to use this chanting and taunting in a positive way, to promote their chances of winning. Les Bleus will be expected to win this match, as they would not like to give up their first loss of this World cup, + Qualifying round to a team which they have not lost to. No matter the result, if it be a win, tie or loss for any of the 4 teams, match day 3 will be the most important. Les Bleus may have the upper hand of all the teams, as they get the easiest of the 3 other teams for match day 3. However, coach Joseuf said, “We can’t assume anything. We might have shown a wonderful match against Vilitan a couple of days ago, but that doesn’t mean we will do well in this cup. We have to assume that any team can win, and beat us, so that we will actually play to our best.

EL CID THE HERO

03-02-2005, 23:12

the following actions happened between the hours of 8pm and 9pm.

Doomhammer is in a Druida hotel sitting next to the phone, twiddling his thumbs.

DH: .... Call on meeee. Call on me. Call on meeee. Call...

RING RING. RING RING. RING....

DH: heheheheh YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

SS: urrrr... is that you Jonny?

DH: no. This is the magic butterfly

SS: o.k. About those pills I got you. You are aware your only meant to take one an hour not the whole bottle. right?

DH: hehehehehehehehehehe.

SS: well anyway. I called to tell you the fish is fine and I got you that...

DH: Doomhammer learn new trick.

SS: ... ok what is it?

Doomhammer continues to bash his head against the wall of his room until he becomes totally disoriented.

DH: Doomhammer still need practise trick

THUD

SS: ….sir? SIR!!!!!

two hours later

RING RING. RING RING. RING....

DH: ok tell me. How long have I been out

SS: about two hours.

DH: ok then. Worse things happen at sea. I’ll just have too....SH#T. THE MATCH. I MISSED IT.

SS: don't worry. The team is fine. The score was EL CID THE HERO 2 Druida 0. So just get some.... On second thoughts you see to have had a lot of that. Just get something too eat or something of the sort.

Lethislavania

04-02-2005, 00:28

Vilita

04-02-2005, 00:44

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Dynamic Duo Shock the World
Yeaddin Owls SuperStars Walk out in Ugly Backroom War of Words
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-------------------The Tropics of Vilita's most profilic midfield duo since Nigel Chapman and Santo Kecker worked together in World Cup 13 have shocked the world after walking out on Yeaddin Owls AFC. The duo were an important part of the Owls 7th Consecutive Stellar Division championship that preceded them winning the Internationstatal Club Championships in their first attempt. The owls earned worldwide respect as a result, but it all came crumbling down in Vilitan Season 12. The Owls started off well, but disarray in the team saw them slowly slip down the table and crash out of the Vilitan Cup. Antonis Siazzu's record 20 goals in season 12 dropped to just 5 in season 13, and Soler's contribution of 18 in season 11 was downed to just 8. Both players featured just 26 times for the Owls, down from almost 40 the season before, the full allocation of matches for a Vilitan Club. Siazzu was a home grown Owls talent, but Soler recently had moved from Strike FC for a Vilitan record transfer. The two cited conflicts with management as reasons for leaving the owls, who finished an all time worst of 6th in the Stellar Division. Some media pundits have reported that the real reason for the duo's departure was a dissaproval of goalkeeper Delain Falcon. The 23 year old Vilitan had been considered a potential backup for Jimmy Kater on the Vilitan National Team, however a conflict with the teams two star midfielders would likely hurt Falcons chances and could explain his absence from the bench in the World Cup 20 Finals. Falcon gained favor at the Owls over long-time keeper Bryan 'Pop' Duiker after signing from Tivali City. Owls head coach Kenter Surf, also Falcon's uncle, was too quick to drop the aging Duiker for the inexperienced Falcon. Many fans had called for Duiker to regain his position, but when it became clear that Surf had made his choice, Duiker handed in a formal transfer request, with Strike FC jumping quickly to steal him, and the Stellar Division title from the Owls.

-------------------Siazzu and Soler terminated their contracts with the Owls immediately and walked out of the club. Media reports had linked the two with Tivali City FC after they had been seen with their agent at the Alikki-Corra international airport. Alikki-Corra is the capital of Vilita, but the nearest Stellar Division club to the capital is Tivali City, which plays on the outskirts of the Tivali Jungle that borders the nations capital. However, the dynamics shocked the world with their announcement, which came this morning at the press conference before the match against Jeruselem. It was not Tivaliy City who they had signed for, but Alikki-Corra FC. Alikki-Corra FC is the forgotten of the original Vilitan Stellar Division clubs. Originally billed as the team with the brightest future, Alikki-Corra sold off all their talent and dropped out of the league. However, they recently regained league status and are currently in the Vilitan Declasse Division. Immediately the questions were asked as to why the duo would relegate themselves to playing in the Declasse with a washed up club. However, they said that, while they had received a generous offer from Strike FC, they had not been guaranteed all the incentives they were looking for in a new club. Alikki-Corra offered a plan for the future and, to Soler, an opt-out clause at any time. 20 Year Old Antonis Siazzu was quick to sign a 3-Season contract with Alikki-Corra. Soler, at 23, agreed in principal to a deal, however a clause in his contract allows him to leave with no fee due to Alikki-Corra if he chooses to return to the Stellar Division. Alikki-Corra chairman Kris Snowmount, also at the meeting, also presented 18 Year Old defensive midfielder Daniel Oram and 17 year old Turorian Goalkeeper Ebbow Dakin, both agreeing to their first Professional Contracts with the club, and both expected to be future stars for their nation like many of the original Alikki-Corra youths.

--------------It is now increasingly likely that Bryan 'Pop' Duiker will be first in line to replace Jimmy Kater in the Jungle Cats goal should the Arcticala Inlet goalkeeper be named unfit for their next match against Jeruselem.

The Eagles Nest

04-02-2005, 00:51

*man holds up a sign with a 0 on it*

This is a Eauzian sign.

*man draws a smiley face in the zero*

This is a Eauzian sign, with a smileyface.

*man draws some hair, and a soccer ball on the ground, a few legs and a stick figure body*

This is a Eauzian sign, with a smileyface, a body, and a soccer ball.

*man draws a man in eauzian colors on the ground watching the first guy, and some streak lines on the ball*

This is a Eauzian sign, with a smileyface, a body a soccer ball heading towards the Eauzian goal as the Eauzian defender missed fell down.

Get used to to seeing it.

*man puts sign down and walks away.*

TEN-Eauz IV. This time it's personal.

Tomorrow.

Iansisle

04-02-2005, 01:33

*snip*

Druidian Papers Get 'A' For Effort
However, majority of Ians fans still largely apathetic about upcoming match

CEFN, Druidia -- With the disaster of a 0-1 defeat at the hands of Commerce Heights still burned into our memory and the looming disaster of a failure to advance past the first round fixed in our vision, it is no small wonder that attempts by the Druidian media to provoke a rivalry have gone largely unnoticed.

The seven Ians fans in Druidia to watch the upcoming match - many of whom have reported being threatened by stampedes of the hordes of Vilita supporters present - have withdrawn into a stoic state.

"I don't really care," yawned J.F. Winderozan, an Ians fan from Mansmouth. "We've lost already - what point is there in starting a fuss about it?"

Many have also reported that Audioslavia's 2-1 loss to the Lowland Clans gives them significantly more pleasure than any possible Ians result, including a 19-0 victory over the Druids.

"We can't allow ourselves to become blinded to the real threat," said Star-Tribune reporter Ben S. Hermansvag, "which is that Audioslavia might not lose their game against Liverpool England."

Many are indeed worried about that. In its last edition, the LE newspaper stated in an article that "...Audioslavia, who [sic] Liverpool England will play next, also lost..." Royal Standard University's Department of Pedantry would like to reassure anyone harmed by this failure to properly decline the relative pronoun that the world, however much it may appear that way, will probably not end.

"Just think of the children!" insisted Professor J.P. Dallman, "why, they may even now be using 'who' instead of 'whom' and corrupting our poor language even further - I ask you, what is next? 'Liverpool England will be playing he' instead of him? It is an epidemic!"

Experts predict that a team unable to even tell the difference between the oblique and the nominative cases cannot possibly beat a team the likes of Audioslavia.

Meanwhile, Druidian attempts to incite a rivalry between themselves and Iansisle, perhaps jealous of the Iansislean rivalries with Audioslavia and the Druidian co-host Starblaydia, have fallen distinctively flat. A recent tele-phone poll of more than 27,000 Iansislean households reveals that 27% sympathise with the Druids, 30% would prefer to beat them, but have no special preference, 2% hate the Druids, and 41% have never heard of Druidia.

Until next time, sports fans, cry in your beer for the noble Ians!

Krytenia

04-02-2005, 03:40

It was heart-wrenching.

Not.

Listen, us sports reporters really don't care about a game against some tinpot freak country. Sports, in fact, is not as important as you take it to be.

So today, I present you something very odd indeed.

Krytenia rigged the game.

Yes, it's true. Our back-up goalie, who went in early in the game, had been payed to purposely take shots. However, it took a whie for the Krytenians to even get a ball near the goal. Anyways, it dosn't matter. Go back to work, you free-loading idiots.

Munni, Kash, & Mula Solicitors
18-25 Lowess Lane
Everton City
EC2 3RP

To Whom It May Concern,

The llama slaughtering we could handle. However this outlandish, atrocious, and frankly uncalled for piece of "journalism" is beyond the pale. We have filed for lawsuits for both libel and slander. We're gonna take you for every Socialist Dollar you have, you lowlife animal-hating smegheads.

Miles O. Redtape,
International Lawsuits Dept.,
Munni, Kash & Mula Solicitors

Spaam

04-02-2005, 08:14

Spaam is just a can of its former self. This is no longer a world class side and should just be happy to be here. How the mighty have fallen.
Melmond showed their inexperience by underestimating the resilience of the Spaamanian team, who won their first match of the World Cup, beating World number 3 Crystilakere by an amazing 3 goals to nil. It was a team effort, with King S. Ford proving his goalkeeping mastery by keeping the incessant Crystilakerian attack at bay, and strikers L. England, C. Heights, and midfielder T. N. U. Insanity all scoring goals. Spaam, rated 46 in the world, now only needs one more win to ensure that they will progress to the round of 16. However their job does not become any easier as they face 34th ranked Krytenia in their next match, who managed a draw against 36th ranked Lethislavania. King S. Ford will show his true mettle as he faces renowned Krytenian strikers Rimmer and Neasden, and only time will tell if they can get a goal past keeping powerhouse Vernazza. In any rate, Spaam showed that they can still play with the big boys, with critics now predicting a Spaamanian/Total n Utter Insanician World Cup final. Now, wouldn't that be something?

Commerce Heights

04-02-2005, 09:08

Griffin Park, 23:00 on the night before the Commerce Heights–EL CID THE HERO World Cup match

Darren Redner, coach of the Commerce Heights Capitalizts, and Idio T. Bought, a former World Cup referee, tinker with a large machine inside the stadium. They attempt to conceal their actions, but are still vulnerable to detection by Druidan security.
Redner: So, does it work yet?
Bought (cryptically): The…uh…inertial dampeners aren’t compensating for the subharmonic distortions in the unstable…erm…generation reactor.
Redner: No dice? Not even a “blah”?
Bought: Those…umm…Aquillan engineers aren’t too smart, eh?
Redner: Blame the engineers all you want, but don’t even think about…“threading the needle” again, ¿comprendes?
Bought: You’ve been hanging around those Stannies too long, eh?
Redner: You’ve been hanging around those Canucks too long, eh?
Bought: We’re never going to get this done if you keep talking! Do you want that 1‒0 disaster against the Ians to repeat itself?
Redner: Whatever, just keep working. Thanks to this half-baked plan of yours, I didn’t even have time to train the…old folks, ¿comprendes?
Bought (sighing): Meh.
Bought continues tinkering for an hour.
Redner: Since you planned for every contingency, do you have any coffee?
Bought: Of course! Got a coffee maker?
Redner: Slani!
Bought: What’s wrong?
Redner: I left…it…in…the—
Bought: The…what?
Redner collapses and falls asleep.
Bought (sarcastically): Slani!
Bought opens a packet of Rejistanian instant coffee, wondering how it ended up in Commerce Heights, and why someone would bother smuggling such a common commodity as coffee out of the undeveloped wasteland known as Communist Rejistania.
Bought (to self): Well, now that that fool is out of the way, let’s just try reversing the polarity…
Machine (several million times): blah
Bought: It works! Hey, Danny, it works!
Redner (waking up): Who’s Danny?
Bought: Rejistanian coffee must not be as good as they say…anyway, as I was saying, the…ah…log recorder works.
Redner: You say this works‽ It only says one thing!
Bought: I don’t know how to add content. I’ll have to get back to you on that.
Redner: Since you planned for every contingency, do you have a sample of the…er…logbook?
Bought: Why, you think the…captains might have spliced in some content?
Redner: Well, you never know! Maybe the…Aquillans got some Abysmali laborers to cut letters out of magazines into their…logbooks!
Bought pulls a newspaper out of his supply case.
Bought: It looks like they used some sort of white-out and wrote over the…non-content.
Redner: You mean we have to go through a million pages and think up some words to write in?
Bought: The Spa—I mean, Aquillans—probably used Abysmalis.
Redner: No, it looks like this was added by machine.
Bought: I told you to make sure you had all the equipment! Now we’re doomed!

Redner now has mere hours before kickoff, leaving little time to travel to ——— and retreive the needed technology. Will he succeed in this bold endeavour, defying the oppressive regimes of Druida and ———? Or is he doomed to fail, to become the first Capitalizt team to lose—to even allow a goal—against a team named entirely with capital letters and spaces?
TO BE CONTINUED…

Druida

04-02-2005, 11:13

Unnamed helper: "It's not working."

President Smith: "What isn't?"

Unnamed helper: "Our latest idea to find rivalry."

President Smith: "Which is?"

Unnamed helper: "Liam-Gessemschmitthaagen-Po's new column, where he tries to wind up opposition countries by taking the mickey out of their players."

President Smith: "Well... whyever not?"

Unnamed helper: "A few reasons. Firstly, it's too petty and light hearted."

President Smith: "True, true."

Unnamed helper: "Second is that our opponents have much better things to do with their time than read Druidan newspapers."

President Smith: "Figures."

Unnamed helper: "And thirdly, Po's about as funny as any one of a number of terminal diseases that we're not allowed to mention, just incase anyone listening in has one."

President Smith: "That's true, but who's listening in?"

Unnamed helper: "You can never be too sure, sir."

President Smith: "Oh. Do you think I should start saying nothing again, just to put them off?"

Unnamed helper: "I'd... er... I'd rather you didn't, actually, sir."

President Smith: "Oh. OK. So... is there a new plan to get us a rival?"

Unnamed helper: "Nope."

President Smith: "So how we gonna get one?"

Unnamed helper: "We're just going to wait."

President Smith: "Wait? What for?"

Unnamed helper: "Well, something might happen."

President Smith: "Like what?"

Unnamed helper: "I don't know, sir. Something that might just give us a rival. But I don't know what, sir. I'm sure that if I did, I'd be on my way to manipulate it right now."

President Smith: "And you're not."

Unnamed helper: "No. I'm not."

President Smith: "Oh... Why not?"

Unnamed helper: "Well, because we've been overrun."

President Smith: "Overrun? What with?"

Unnamed helper: "Vilitans, sir."

President Smith: "I thought they all lived in Port Scadock?"

Unnamed helper: "No, sir. They are the ethnic Vilitans living in Druida. These are real actual Vilitans who've come across the sea."

President Smith: "Why do they want to do that? They live in a lovely tropical climate, we're only a few hundred miles away and it's constantly miserable here."

Unnamed helper: "It's something to do with the football, I imagine."

President Smith: "Oh. How many have come over..."

Unnamed helper: "Well, I don't want to scare you, but... er..."

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/logo.gif
2.002 Billion Vilitans flock to Druida

President Smith: "What... but... how?"

Unnamed helper: "Basically, there are ony 7 million Vilitans who haven't come over."

President Smith: "Really! Then let's invade!!!"

Unnamed helper: "Sir, there could be a problem there in that we don't have an army."

President Smith: "We... don't?"

Unnamed helper: "We had to cut back on having an army so that we could pay for Margaretisation."

President Smith: "Oh. So what have we got?"

Unnamed helper: "A small navy."

President Smith: "We do?"

Unnamed helper: "Well... we've got a ship."

President Smith: "Well, send it to Vilita!"

Unnamed helper: "Well, I say a ship... I mean a boat."

President Smith: "Get it sent!"

Unnamed helper: "A... rowing... boat."

President Smith: "Ah. And how long would it take that to get to Vilita?"

Unnamed helper: "About... a month?"

President Smith: "Ah. Not good."

Unnamed helper: "Anyway, our problem is, where are they all going to stay?"

President Smith: "That's easy!"

Unnamed helper: "It... is?"

President Smith: "Yes, of course it is! When this used to be NEWI Cefn Druids, what was the official population?"

Unnamed helper: "Over 2.5 billion, sir."

President Smith: "Exactly. Now, how many people live in Druida?"

Unnamed helper: "Less that a billion, sir."

President Smith: "So the Vilitans can all stay wherever our missing population used to live!"

Unnamed helper: "Genius, sir. I don't know how you do it."

***Matchday 2 scores will be arriving in telegram boxes very soon. Indeed, as soon as President Smith's unnamed helper can get them out.***

Total n Utter Insanity

04-02-2005, 13:19

Total n Utter Insanity set out to prove a point against Adam Island. We aren't sure what it was exactly, but it was something along the lines of you can play crap for 90% of the match and still win.

Total n Utter Insanity 1 Adam Island 0

Nova Brrittaiiniaaccuss, or something, was up next to wittiness the Insane style of play. The Insanicians dazzled the Novarians, mainly with carefully placed mirrors around the stadium. Having been on the receiving end of many 4-1 beatings in the second round the Insanicians know how the Novarians are feeling.

Total n Utter Insanity 4 Nova Britannicus 1

The Insanicians are through to the second round yet again. Making it 13 times from 19 attempts.

Audioslavia

04-02-2005, 13:24

Liverpooling Canned
'Slaves Finally Pull Out A Performance

Audioslavia came into the match against Liverpool England on the back of one of the worst runs in recent times. The 'slaves had won only twice in the last eight games, and anything other than a win here would see their ricketty hopes of progressing through the tournament all but fall apart.

Their opponents, Liverpool England, had topped their qualifying group thanks to a flurry of superb away performances against some talented sides, but had been recently brought down to earth with a disconcertingly large thump in their match with Bedistan, recording their first ever loss against the side.

The form tables showed Liverpool England were on the better run, but how would that Bedistan debacle affect them?

That question was answered in the first few minutes of the game. The Terminators were noticeably over-cautious, showing nothing of the swift attacking play that the world is used to seeing in Liverpool England sides. The caution lead to nerves, which led to silly mistakes as time and time again Kushner and Denard got caught out in midfield.

In the twentieth minute one of these mistakes lead to a goal. Frank Kushner's long cross-field ball to Kieth Burr was woefully under-paced and was cut out by young Killian Rijsbergen. Rijsbergen trapped the ball and played it through a gap in the midfield to Oliver Dannes. Dannes flicked it in front of McLlroy, who killed the ball, waited for Dannes to run and then chipped the ball over the defence and into his path. With the words "hey, d'you fancy this dummy? only 30 quid mate..." he jinked round the keeper and finished the ball into the empty net.

The 'slaves then got their tails up and it was 2-0 before the half-hour as a long-range shot from Ally Marriot was tipped over the bar expertly by David Thompson, only for centre-half Aron Ceulemans to hammer home a header fron the resulting corner.

Half-time came and went and Liverpool England started to take control, searching for something to salvage them something from the game. Henry Carreon was brought on for a tiring Keith Burr, whilst the 'slaves bolstered their defence by replacing Oran Crevan with Exander Bannockburn.

It was the Terminators who had the first chance of the second half, playmaker Joseph Cummings smacking the upright with a low shot from eighteen yards. Then came sub Henry Carreon's turn to strike the woodwork as he diverted a cross onto the right-hand post with a twisting header.

It looked for all the world like Liverpool England would score, but then came the killer blow from the Audioslavians. A hoofed clearance from Johnstone found Jackie McLlroy, who controlled the ball beautifully on his chest and flicked it over Thomas Moreno, running onto it behind the flailing defender. Controlling the ball, McLlroy looked up and went to have a dig from thirty yards, but his shot was charged down by a recovering Moreno who got a foot to it. Oskari was there to pick up the loose ball however, and a quick passing move between him, Jansen and Dannes opened up a crack in the defence. Dannes laid the ball off to McLlroy who, from twenty yards, struck the ball hard. Thompson was beaten and could only watch the ball ricochet off of the crossbar, however, in keeping with the luck that had been on Audioslavia's side all match, it bounced to one Ally Marriot who finished the ball into the empty net.

3-0 up with a little over half an hour to go, the 'slaves looked like they had the match wrapped up, but that didn't stop the Terminators fighting it out to the death. As time went on the 'slaves began to look tired but Liverpool England were getting a second wind, and again hit the woodwork with a near-post header from Dennard. Ronald Stamp had an even better chance, as some good play by Kushner on the wing took 'slavian full-back Arne Carel out of the game and split the defence apart. Kushner sent Stamp through with a pinpoint pass, but Stamp could only hit the ball at the keepers legs, with the rebound being cleared by Ceulemans.

The Terminators did however get on the scoresheet - finally - in injury time. A Kushner corner was punched away by Andersson, but the ball went only as far as Timothy Dennard on the edge of the box. Without so much as a thought, Dennard executed a perfect lob over the stranded Andersson which dipped below the bar and over Carel's head as he jumped to try and clear.

It was all too little too late however, and the game finished 3-1 in favour of the 'slaves.

Final Score
Audioslavia 3 Dannes 21, Ceulemans 28, Marriot 58
Liverpool England 1 Dennard 92

Group B Pl W D L F A Pts GD
Audioslavia 2 1 0 1 4 3 3 +1
Bedistan 1 1 0 0 2 1 3 +1
The Lowland Clans 1 1 0 0 2 1 3 +1
Liverpool England 2 0 0 2 2 5 0 -3

Audioslavia top the group, and will stay top for all of six hours before Bedistan and The Lowland Clans play tonight. A draw between the two sides will signify the end for Liverpool England's hopes of re-living World Cup 8 as they will be eliminated, whilst a Bedistan win will give them some hopes, as a big win for them over TLC and a large Bedistan victory over Audioslavia would see them through.

The 'slaves know that they still have to get a good result on Friday against Bedistan, or else they could fall at the first hurdle for the fifth time in sixteen finals appearances.

The Audioslavia - Bedistan match is being billed as the game between two of football's premier underachieving sides. The Bedistan Ex-Lions have made a record five semi-final appearances, losing three of them. Their two appearances in World Cup Finals have ended in defeat, first to Liverpool England in that epic World Cup 8 final, and then to Eauz in World Cup 16.

Audioslavia have also been defeated finalists twice, losing to Rejistania in World Cup 12 and then Crystilakere... yes you heard me right... in World Cup 19. The 'slaves hold the record for most World Cups qualified for in a row, having not failed to qualify since World Cup 5, and have remained in the top ten for thirty-six years, yet have never won a title at senior level. Their best chance came in the final of the fourth incarnation of the Eagles Cup. On that occasion they played Bedistan and lost by a goal to nil. It was the last time the two sides have met.

G'nite bitches.

Liverpool England

04-02-2005, 13:40

"Welcome back to Victory Park in Vecchio, Starblaydia! It is half-time and the Terminators trail 2-0. Joining me in the studio, Paul Dussis. Paul, let's talk about the first goal. Sloppy passing, wasn't it?"

"Yes, you'd expect more from Frank, and Keith.... poor pass, the lads paid the penalty. It was a great finish from Dannes though, great play from McLlroy, odd one-two, with that deft chip and brilliant dummy."

"Let's talk about the second goal, then. David Thompson did a great job saving that shot, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, it definitely was.... the defence from the resulting corner wasn't as brilliant, though..... superb header, down hard onto the ground, bounced over David, no chance."

"Well, they're just about to get the second half underway, and both sides will make a change each."

"Yes, good tactical move from SyLy too, Keith was looking tired."

-47min-
"Cummings.... on the edge of the area.... he shoots! [THWAP] That's gone off the post! Great football; if only he could have finished it!"

"Let's look at that again, brilliant shot, where was the Slavian defence, I've got to ask, it's the first time their back four have looked shaky."

-49min-
"Dennard.... the cross - Carreon! [THWAP] And that has hit the post too! Two missed chances off the woodwork in two minutes!"

"The Slavian defence again showing signs on complacency.... where was the marking?"

-58min-
"McLlroy. Audioslavia on the attack, 20 yards from goal.... he'll take the shot! [THWAP!] That's hit the bar! It's come back down.... Marriot!!!! Goal! 3-0! The Terminators have been terminated! They're effectively down and out!"

"Brilliant midfield work by Audioslavia, this is what we've come to expect from them. Pity that we can't show much of the same quality."

-90+4min-
"Deep into stoppage time. Dennard has the ball 25 yards out, and will attempt the lob..... it's in!!! Liverpool England have clawed the deficit back to two, although surely too late!!!"

-FT-
"IT's all over then, Paul, two losses on the trot.... we'll have to wait for the Bedistani result, hoping that Bedistan won...."

Jeruselem

04-02-2005, 14:33

Jeruselem Government News

Jungle Cats win thriller

It was an important game for Jeruselem for the Group stage of World Cup XX. They played Vilita who were the favourites and need to win to stay in the race to make the finals. Jeruselem have never won a Group stage game in the World Cup and things didn't change today either.

The Jungle Cats won 1-0 against a galant Jeruselem who wouldn't give Vilita an easy game. A late goal to the Vilita sealed the game as the cat's defense proved too hard to crack despite some close calls at the end. This means Jeruselem must beat Eauz or fail again like XXIII and XIX.

It would be very helpful if TEN drew with Eauz in the other game, so no team other than Vilita have sealed their spot in the finals. We can only hope.

However, the loss to Vilita was expected given the 6th seed always features in the finals.

Druida

04-02-2005, 15:42

The Daily Druid

VILITANS STORM VIADUCT
Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po on Druida 1 Iansisle 1

A late goal from young midfielder Trevor Ng last night kept Druida in the World Cup and saved them the embarrasement of going out in front of their own fans.

By all accounts, the game was pretty crap. Iansisle looked as if it was taken for granted that they were going home, while Druida didn't look as if they could take the pressure of playing in front of home support on such a big stage. Well, when I say big, anyone in Druida knows that the stadium at the Viaduct isn't all that big. Big as in the finals of the World Cup.

Notable instances during the first half were a ball boy falling over the advertising hordings on 23 minutes, a Rainbows throw in on 28 minutes and an Ians corner on 38 minutes.

Indeed, the corner was notable, because that's where the goal came from. An own goal, no less. The Ians players didn't look confident enough to score themselves, but luckily for them, the Rainbows were incapable enough to do it for them. Sam Guy's header put into the net by Trevor Rodgers' acrobatic diving header. Well, I say diving header, he missed it with his head and it went in off his thigh.

The second half wasn't much of an improvement. Highlights of this included a streaker on 53 minutes and a dog running on the pitch on 85 minutes.

Just before the dog entered the fray, Druida scored. Trevor Ng hit a shot that must have deflected about three or four times before looping over an unfortunate James Goodman's head. And so it proved enough to see the ga,e through to a draw.

It was enough, because the dog running onto the pitch was just the start of what was to follow. With the game into the final five minutes, Some of the Vilitans who had come over and overcrowded Druida found that there was no more space out in the street, and somehow managed to work their way onto the pitch. They started coming on in a trickle, but eventually they seemed to take up the whole of the pitch.

The match had to be abandoned, but a sufficient amount of it had been played for the result to stand. However, the problem of the Vilitan overcrowding has not escaped the attention of President Margaret Smith, who was attending the game with an unknown aide.

President Smith addressed the crowd over the PA system. "Look, everyone, I know you're all here to support Vilita, but why are you here? I know Druida's most famous sight is outside, but surely you can't all crowd around that? Anyway, Vilita's game is in Bessburg, not Cefn. Now you're all quite welcome here, but it's time you went home!"

Whether they will or not is a completely different matter.

Final score:
Druida 1 [Ng 84]
Iansisle 1 [Rodgers o.g. 38]

Starblaydia

04-02-2005, 17:08

"Foundation Road is in dreamland, here in the Starblaydi captial," said the commentator, surveying the sea of White and Purple in the stands who were singing and dancing in as Starblaydia were in the final minutes of a famous victory again The Belmore Family, "the fans are quite obviously delighted by this four-one scoreline, with around three minutes of normal time left."

The commentator, Sven Motsonsson, was nudged by his co-commentator, who pointed down to the touchline.

"And It appears," Sven said, "that none of ther than Simeone Di Bradini is preparing to come on. Incredible, Trevor."

"Indeed," Trevor Collins, former NEWI Cefn Druids midfielder and co-commentator for the game replied, "Guylain must think there aren't enough Godmods on the pitch, so he's bringing one on."

"Ha ha," Sven stifled a groan, "so, wearing number twenty-three, at the age of thirty-nine, can you believe it, Simeone Di Bradini is coming on to play in his fourth different World Cup.

"He's playing in Kaze Progressa, Eauz, Turori and now in Starblaydia itself, its Simeone Di Bradini!"

Sven was drowned out by the roar of the Starblaydi crowd as their ageing hero came on for Starblaydia's third and final substitution of the game.

"Could he, Sven?" Trevor asked, no-one needing to be told the question.

"It'd be 'Roy of the Rovers' stuff, certainly, if it did happen."

"Roberto Di Bradini, with a quick clearance from the byline, under pressure from Paul Belmore. Falls to his older brother, excellent first touch of the game by Simeone, he's knocked it out wide for Matranga on the left.

"Matranga, goes by Rick Moore, a great turn of speed, toward the box, a left-foot cross. Nodded back by Del Blanco for... Di Bradini! With an incredible goal! Twenty yards out, and he's found the back of the net with his second touch!

"Its now Five-One for Stablaydia and the crowd here at foundation road have gone absolutely mental! Its taken SDB four years to get back on the scoresheet since AOCAF5, and now he's moved on to Forty-Seven International Goals, extending his record yet further."

...

"And there it is! The final whistle, and Starblaydia have crushed The Belmore Family by Five goals to One. Two from Darius Belizaire, Marco Del Blanco and Geraint Evans with one each, and the match rounded off by Simeone Di Bradini with the fifth, from his second touch of the ball. What a victory, as Starblaydia move up to Four points in Group A of the twentieth World Cup. From Foundation Road, this is Sven Motsonsson, for Trevor Collins, saying goodnight."

"-bitches!" Trevor managed to get in at the last second. "I've always wanted to say that, y'know."

Sarzonia

04-02-2005, 17:26

Stars awaken 'sleeping giants', lose 2-0

Penningworth, Starblaydia (ASP) -- Kaze Progressa very nearly didn't make it here. The team ranked ninth in the world entering the World Cup finals was very nearly sent packing in its group and the Sarzonian national team riding a goalless draw against the world's top ranked team Dance 2 Revolution came into the match smelling blood.

Unfortunately, the only blood they smelled by the time the final whistle sounded was their own. Kaze Progressa played its most inspired match of the 20th World Cup and throttled the Stars 2-0.

"They proved their ranking today," Coach Dave Wilson said. "We shut down Guna Odmod, but Sani Luvo was too good out there today. We got away from our defensive game plan a little bit, but even if we played it to perfection, I don't know if we win this match."

The Stars took midfielder Martin Overton out of the lineup in place of Henrik Bastale and played a de facto 3-4-3 to try to apply pressure on the Progressans and it worked, sort of. The team launched 17 shots, including eight on goalkeeper Fayu Fanzuhu's goal, but the Progressan keeper was up to the task.

Unfortunately for the Stars, reserve goalkeeper John Bartlett, in for the suddenly ill Troy Perkins, was not. He allowed the two goals on just three shots before the end of the first half, forcing Wilson to send in third choice goalkeeper Mark Tanner for the second half. Tanner was noticeably better, making four saves including a point blank bid by Luvo in the 68th minute that would have put away the desperate Stars.

"We busted our asses out there," a dejected Bastale said after the match. "We just weren't good enough."

The Stars face Melmond in the final match of the group stage of the World Cup finals in a predicament at least as perilous as the previous World Cup finals appearance in World Cup XIX. The Stars are facing down a minus-two goal differential and have only one point in the standings and are anxiously awaiting word of the Dance 2 Revolution-Melmond match to get a handle on their slim chances to advance to the knockout rounds.

"It would have been nice if we could control our own destiny, but it was just not to be," Wilson said. "We're now going to have to have luck on our side for once."

Svecia

04-02-2005, 20:58

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

"WE GOT UNLUCKY"
Svecians ponder when luck will return

Svecia 0-2 One Red Dot

A pair of goals within five minutes of halftime sunk Svecia´s hopes a keeping a clean sheet in the finals and might have destroyed hope of making it to the second round, something the Lightning have not accomplished three times in the last eight World Cups.

The match was going well from a Svecian perspective. A few early opportunities for both teams had been well dealt with by the respective defenses and the match was a deadlock.

Suddenly, ORD scored. And then again. Two strikes within five minutes of each other. And right before the halftime whistle, the worst time to give up a goal. The two goals seemed to completely demoralise the orange-clad players, and the second half turned into a frustrating series of shanked passes, and long range shots.

The first of the two goals, a shot from 18 yards out, banged off the post and stayed out, but Svecian keeper Mattias Prika´s head deflected the ball back into the net as he dove to save it. The other goal came after a corner kick was awkwardly headed by defender Gottlieb Frisk and fell straight to a ORD player.

"We just got unlucky there right at the end. A meter either way, and those would not be goals" said coach Matt de Fijts. Svecia must now win their next match in order to have any hope at all of playing further matches in Starblaydia.

Eauz

04-02-2005, 21:29

Still Undefeated, especially against TEN

We’re off to the stadium of Park Park in Parkville for the match between Eauz and The Eagle’s Nest. Many Eauz fans were on hand to watch this match, as they wanted to taunt The Eagle’s Nest, for having never won a match against Eauz in the history of matches between these two teams. Many where also in attendance to boo the stadium officials and Durida for getting rid of the French language section of the stadium. Just before the match was to start, a long loud roar of boo’s went around the stadium, and seemed to last through to the 20th minute of play.

Despite this, we pick this match up at the 10th minute of play, where Alia received a pass from Vasser, and looked to be on his way to a great challenge, but the referee indicated an offside. Alia was not in the mood for cheap calls, and started yelling at the referee for a bad call. After a few minutes, the referee pulled out a yellow card. After that, TEN sent a long pass down field, which was interrupted by Mendove, who took it up field. A cheap attack on Mendove, by a TEN defender, with the spikes up, sent Mendove down for a few minutes, without the blow of the referee’s whistle. Joseuf couldn’t believe the hard luck his team was getting, and very few calls going their way. A few minutes later, still in the Eauz zone, TEN got a corner kick, which curved towards the net, and tapped by a forward. The ball hit the uprights though, preventing a goal for TEN. The two teams seemed to be in this back and forth momentum for a while. Things finally got exciting, as during a corner kick by TEN, one of their players were left wide open. The kick bounced around a bit, and into possession of this open player, who tapped the ball into the net, putting TEN up 1 – 0. This looked bad in many ways for Eauz, as their defence had slipped, and they were down to a team they have never lost to. What had happened to the strong Eauz defence during the qualifying round? TEN fans everywhere were cheering, as they were already on top early during a match against their hated foes from Eauz. TEN fans responded to the 0’s with a bunch of 1 signs everywhere, and soon the stadium started to look like a big computer program full of 0’s and 1’s. Apparently, there was an uber-geek in the stadium, who decoded the message, saying it said “Doom will come to both teams in the near future”. However, because no one likes uber-geek people, they ignored the message, and continued to enjoy the match. TEN was able to fend off the Eauz attacks up to recess, where TEN was leading 1 – 0.

As people started to get up and stretch, the 0’s and 1’s continued to mix together, and spell even worse things, according to the uber-geek. It became so scary, that he ran out of the stadium screaming at the top of his lungs.

The second half finally started, and Les Bleus were hungry for a goal and continue the undefeated streak against TEN. Les Bleus started off attacking early in the second half, getting off 10 shots in the first 25 minutes of play. One of the shots, came close, but hit the top corner, and deflecting out. Les Bleus were finally able to get a goal, during the 60th minute of play, Eauz was passing the ball around, when finally a pass went to the centre, where Theodoric kicked it in. This tied the match, and many of the 1’s started to go down. TEN though wouldn’t go away, as during the 70th minute of play, they received a free kick, which would have gone in, if Bedeau did not dive the ball and block it. The match started to dwindle down to the seconds left, and both teams were tiring. The match finished at 1 – 1, making it the second consecutive 1 – 1 score for both teams. Despite the tie, TEN fans were happy, for it kind of broke the “losing streak” they had against, Eauz, despite not even beating them. Joseuf on the other hand was upset that his team was not strong enough this evening to pull off the victory.

Looking at the standings, this group is a mess. Currently, any of the 4 teams still has a chance of advancing to the next round. Les Bleus will have to hope that they can pull their team together to play a good match in the last match day. Not all the pressure is on though, for they could tie, and still advance, but Joseuf doesn’t want to risk that, and hopes his team will be in top shape for the final match against Jeruselem.

Group F P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Vilita 1 1 1 0 2 1 +1 4
The Eagles Nest 1 0 2 0 2 2 0 2
Eauz 1 0 2 0 2 2 0 2
Jeruselem 1 0 1 1 1 2 -1 1

Bedistan

04-02-2005, 22:38

joining the match in progress at silverlands in corinth, starblaydia...

MM: And with the clock winding down, the Clans can't possibly have a chance at saving this one.

KJ: Indeed, it's looking like the Audioslavia match was just a fluke.

MM: Well, not exactly a fluke; more like the 'slavian system just not working out as well as they'd hoped.

KJ: True. One only hopes they don't get the sense to change it before matchday three, eh?

MM: Indeed. And there's the final whistle. A very good game here at Silverlands, not quite as good as the last, but definitely not shabby by anyone's standards, as the Green-Blues come away with a 3-1 victory over the Lowland Clans.

KJ: This marks the first time the Bedistani national team has managed two back-to-back wins in a World Cup since all the way back in Sixteen.

MM: What? We had a four-match winning streak just last year.

KJ: I'm not counting qualifying, you idiot, just the World Cup proper.

MM: Ah, I see.

KJ: As I said, the last time this happened was in World Cup Sixteen. Anyone care to tell me how far the team got that time?

MM: Got all the way to the final, lost to Eauz.

KJ: Yes, we got all the way to the final. I'm telling you, it's a sign. This is our year.

MM: Please. We've been saying that every four years since bloody World Cup Eight. And has it done us any good? No.

KJ: I'm really sick of your pessimism. And I'm sure our viewers at home are too. Anything you can think of that really stood out in this match?

MM: Well, George Washburn's two goals. And the one from Carpenter.

KJ: That was rather obvious.

MM: Well, you asked.

KJ: We're running out of time, but before we go, how about predictions for matchday 3?

MM: Audioslavia v Bedistan should be quite a matchup, almost on the level of LE v Bedistan. Two nations that have been trying to win the World Cup for sixty or more years and have both come up just short, leading to unlikely Cup winners Liverpool England and Crystilakere. Audioslavia have the rank advantage, but are in atrocious form, though today's 3-1 win over LE should give them a bit of a boost. History is on Bedistan's side, with two wins and a loss. For my money, I'd have to go with a draw. One-one. Then there's LE v TLC...I think the Terminators will begin to recover from the shock of actually losing to us and will get it together to overcome the Clans. Two-one for LE, Bedistan and Audioslavia go through.

KJ: I think we can pull off a win over the 'slaves, but only just. One-zip, and don't expect it to be easy. LE and TLC will draw, putting Bedistan and the Clans in the second round.

MM: Sounds reasonable.

KJ: Anyway, that's all for today. Join us Sunday morning for the big clash - Bedistan v Audioslavia. That's at 11:00, 10:00 in the Jativan Islands. For Mike Michaels, I'm Ken Jenkins. Sayonara.

Squornshelous

04-02-2005, 23:28

Must Win

Now this looks familiar
For the second time this cup, Squornshelous has left it to the last game to pull out a win for advancement. With our loss to Nova Brittanicus, we are just ahead of them in the standings, and need a good result against TnUI to move on, a loss by NB would also help.Right now the group sits like this:

Team W D L F A GD P
Total n Utter Insanity 2 0 0 5 2 +3 6
Squornshelous 1 0 1 2 2 0 3
Nova Brittanicus 1 0 1 3 5 -2 3
Adam Island 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0

A win by Squornshelous or loss by Nova Brittanicus will put the Pschychoes thorugh unless Adam Island wins and makes up on Goal Difference, which is possible (TnUI 3-1 Squorn AI 1-0 NB)

A draw by both teams will put the Pschychoes through

A win or draw by NB and a loss by Squornshelous will put NB through.
A win by NB and a draw by Squornshelous will put NB through.

The game against Adam Island highlighted that side's excellent defense, which performed well against the Insancians last matchday. That defense has kept the Adam Islanders in reach of a spot in the second round. However, they couldn't hold the Squornshelan attack to nothing. Jako Arnesson broke through in the 58th minute folowing a corner kick that was cleared out to midfield by Neil Quattlebaum. Sven Eriksson, controlled it and passed forward to Yanni Zikov, filling in for Craig Snell, who was serving a one game suspension for his actions in the game against Nova Brittanicus. Zikov passed ahead to Scott Neese, who flew down the right side and crossed in to Trevor Gerrard, who had lingered back with the sweeper for Adam Island. Gerrard trapped the ball and sheilded it from Quattlebaum while Arnesson ran by, Gerrard laid it off to him and Arnesson caught Carissa Sitler off balance and dribbled into the top of the box, where he let loose a killer shot that flew past Zaida Sandys.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 1-0 Adam Island

Scoring Summary:
SQ: Arnesson [58]

Up Next:
Total n Utter Insanity have been quietly playing very well this cup, not typically their style. As they recently opened their collective mouth to taunt Nova Brittanicus after their 4-1 defeat of that team, it is only logical that they will now begin to play poorly.
Prediction:
Squornshelous 2-1 Total n Utter Insanity

The Eagles Nest

05-02-2005, 03:07

TEN Doesn't LOSE to Eauz

Must Win vs. Vilita

"Jeruselem broke the symettry"

What?

"They broke the symettry."

Can you spell that word correctly?

*sigh* s-y-m-m-e-t-r-y. Happy?

yeah I guess. now how did they break symmetry?

If they had scored a goal, it would have been all teams tied for first with 2 for and 2 against. Now Vilita has a 2 point lead over everyone else.

So if we win we go through, regardless of what Eauz does?

Yeah. If we tie, then Eauz has to tie, but with less goals. if there is a winner in that match, either way, a tie won't do enough.

Crud. But we've beaten Vilita before?

yeah, the ONLY team that we beat, but that was way back when...we were 3rd ranked, they were a lot lower than they are now. In fact they jumped us now.

Crud. Think we have a chance?

I don't know. Maybe if we unleash the Furby's.

FURBY's? ARE YOU CRAZY? after the damage that they caused years ago?

You heard they have made Furby II right? comes out later this year? Mayeb they won't be ready for them. A free giveaway to Vilitans, since all 2. whatever billion of them are over there.

Could we Just maybe send in the Nest army to take over the country and declare their team null and void since their country is null and void?

Um...you want to suggest that one to President Ashallond? besides, do you know how FAR away Vilita is from the Nest? They could overrun the country when they return from the matches before we'd even probably receive a telegram for help.

Hmm. Could we maybe start a rumor to that effect? Ruffle their feathers?

Nah, that wouldn't work. Probably make them play harder. We'll have to unleash the Furby's....and play our hearts out. Let Coach know that he has the support of the country. and that we must win this match. It is critical. Else we are doomed.

At least we weren't crushed by everyone.

Yeah, if we get out of this group alive, it will be a miricle.

Yeah.

yeah.

Yeah.

yeah.

Yeah.

yeah.

Yeah.

*THUNK* stop that.

Y..ea..gurgle...h...go....Birds...ohh the birdies they are flying around my head. they're Strike Birds...they so pretty. *passes out*

*shakes head. Lord help us all*

Rejistania

05-02-2005, 12:22

Reporter: Hejida Siki Rej!
SR: Hejida...
Reporter: Please answer some questions!
SR: I have no time!
Reporter: I hav coffee for you!
SR: TRhat's different then!
Reporter: Why did you lose against Cockbill Street?
SR: Well, referee Hoyzer* was not really what we call 'tera'
Reporter: 'neutral', you mean?
SR: Indeed, apparently he was bribed!
Reporter: What gives you that idea?
SR: Well, he did not count the two goals for us due to 'offside position' of players, who were not offside, or at least only passively! He did count the goal for The Streeters despite this dwarf Ivar Golddevourer being miles offside!
Reporter: That was highly dubious, but why does that give you the idea that he was bribed?
SR: I saw a troll with a sack full of Streetian Dollars going to his house!
Reporter: What gives you the idea that the sack was full of Ankh Mopork dollars?
SR: Maybe use 50?* worth logic. Wht else did he do?
Reporter: Isn't it totally obvious, too obvous?
SR: Well, they can't send a cheque... they don't have such technological archievements!
Reporter: Rejistania had a monetary system also with cheques relatively early!
SR: Yeah, and RL-earth in the middle age, but we are talking about Cockbill Street here!
Reporter: Why were you at his house?
SR: To bribe him, why else?
Reporter: You confess that this easily?
SR: Why not? I was outbribed and a bribe is only a bribe if it has an effect!
Reporter: Strange approach to ethics, you have!
SR: To what?
Reporter: To the kansu.
SR: Losing is not well for the kansu of the nation, so...
Reporter: okay... thanks for this words of wisdom!

*IRL a referee, who became infamous for betting on the matches, he refereed
**? is the symbol for lil'kansu

One Red Dot

05-02-2005, 18:17

To: Alvin Ker (President - aSWORD) <a_ker@asword.gov.rd>
From: Chris Gwee <cgwee@cnfc.org.rd>
Subject: MD2 and greatest success

This is probably the best thing that ORD has achieved in the last 24 years since WC14! With ORD defeating Svecia 2-0, we're going to the second round! Celebrate, celebrate! It was probably a miracle match. Louis and Kane showed the Svecians who ruled the match when they scored within 5 minutes of each other, minutes before half time. I'm sure they felt the heat, but I think they were too demoralised to do anything about it, anyway, as for the next match against Starblaydia, it doesn't matter what happens, since we are confirmed in the next round. In any case, they said that they will kick our ass, well, I think they'd better swallow their words.

Cockbill Street

05-02-2005, 19:31

On the Streetian training camp, Kansu Lyku was going through the six-back line he planned to employ against Lovisa. Five backs hadn't done the job against Turori, and the only reason it had managed against Rejistania, was because the Rejistanis feared going over the midfield so one shot had been fired on goal in the entire match (not counting, of course, the disallowed ones - offside is offside).

Then an elderly woman came onto the pitch. Kansu recognised her as the woman who always was bothering him after wins...that could only mean trouble. She was clearly swearing and shouting from a long way away.

"Hejida Carpenter'he," he said. Most Streetians seemed to gather that fairly quickly.

"You just Hejida all you want. How in the name of U'ghah'buh'ni do you explain that we lose 1-4 to Tu-flipping-rawri the one day, and then beat the world's unquestionably best team the next?!" Helen shouted.

"Lasane'het is not good. Five is in world."

"That's still a y'rth'gah lot better than 26th!"

"Well...play good. Other lasane'het take caution."

"Take caution? You mean...they were cautious?"

"Ve." Kansu nodded.

"It's 'Yes', you language-challenged defence-freak."

"Sorry."

"Well, anyway, the Inquirer will be all over us this afternoon. Just thought I'd warn you in advance."

"Is the Inquirer?" Kansu still didn't quite master the English concept of question-words.

"Is the Inquirer what?"

"Know not," Kansu shook his head.

"Oh, sorry. They're a newspaper. And their journalists have just been tipped off by the KaMaRi Update that you bribed them."

"I do not!"

"Well...that's what they think. And Siki Rej apparently supports that."

"Rej'he? The ASR Hexatux geek?"

"Him, yes."

"Know how?"

"He was out to bribe the ref himself. Only he failed. Apparently a troll was out giving him a sack of something and Rej thought it was Streetian dollars."

"Troll was carrying?"

"We don't know yet. Think he was on delivery service from the Street though - we've got a fair bit of coal, could be that."

"I no bribe plan make. Yjik'he good enough beat Lasane'het no bribe."

"Well...good luck. And remember - we need a five-goal win."

"Su??!"

"If the Rejistanians win by three goals, Turori will have 7-5 in goal difference, and if we then win by four goals, we'll be knocked out on goals scored. Follow the logic?"

"Lasane'het not win. Slietah too good."

"Hope you're right...I'm fed up with U-21-like results..."

---

Ankh-Morpork C-mail

Group Eigh - What Can Happen

Table:

Turori 2 2 0 0 7-2 6
Rejistania 2 1 0 1 2-2 3
Cockbill Street 2 1 0 1 2-4 3
Lovisa 2 0 0 2 2-5 0

Matchday 3:

Lovisa vs Cockbill Street - Away Ground, Port Scaddock
Rejistania vs Turori - Marsh Park, Newton Vale

Turori Eels

With a draw or a win, they win the group.
With a loss by less than two goals, they win the group as long as Cockbill Street don't win their match by seven minus the goal difference in Rejistania vs Turori match.
With a three-goal loss or more, they're second as long as Cockbill Street don't win their match by the amount of goals explained above.
With a seven-goal loss or more, they're out if Cockbill Street win.

Rejistania Orange-Blues

With a three-goal win or more, they're qualified, and win the group unless Cockbill Street win by two goals more than them.
With any win, they're qualified in second place if Cockbill Street don't win by two goals more than them.
With a draw, they're qualified in second place if Cockbill Street draw or lose.
With a one-goal loss, they're qualified in second place if Cockbill Street lose.
With a two-goal loss, they're knocked out.

Cockbill Street Never-Winners

With a five-goal win or more, they're qualified no matter what. They'll win the group if Rejistania win by two or more goals less than the Street.
With a 5-1 win (or more goals with the same goal difference), they're qualified no matter what.
With a 4-0 win, they can win the group if Rejistania win by two goals. They'll qualify unless Rejistania beat Turori by exactly three goals.
With a three-goal win, they can qualify as long as Rejistania only win by one goal, don't win, or win by six goals or more.
With any win, they can qualify as long as Rejistania don't win or win by (8 minus goals Street wins by) goals or more.
With a draw, they can qualify as long as Rejistania lose.
With a loss, they can not qualify.

Lovisa "Team All Matches Lose"

With a two-goal win or more, they're qualified in second place as long as Cockbill Street lose.
With a one-goal win, a draw or a loss, they can not qualify.

Melmond

06-02-2005, 02:47

The Daily Necromancer
Sports – Late Edition
By Art Opsy

World Cup Group D Play: Melmond 2, Kaze Progressa 0

PENNINGWORTH, STARBLAYDIA—It is a rare occasion where the Daily Necromancer, a paper that usually centers on the magical culture of Melmond, the birthplace of the LIFE spell, covers a sporting event. However, seeing the burgeoning popularity of the sport of football in Melmond has permeated to the magical community, we figured that the first place that we should cover the Melmond National Team is the tournament which is the pinnacle of sporting in the NationStates world, the World Cup.
The World Cup, which is in its twentieth incarnation, is being hosted by two nations of Atlantian Oceania, Starblaydia and Druida. The Fearless Farmers, as the Melmond National Team is usually nicknamed due to the agriculture heritage of Melmond, were sent to Starblaydia to Group D. Their first opponent was Kaze Progressa, a historically strong side.
I was originally excited about going to Starblaydia for not only the football, but for my own shopping in terms of my wizardry and necromancy. Unfortunately, the name of the nation Starblaydia was rather misleading as there were very few stars and blades I could use for my magical works. The ones that were available were of very low quality. I am better shopping off at a Melmondian chain store like McMagic’s for my equipment than here. However, one thing I have to tip my wizard hat to the Starblaydians is there architecture. I can’t believe how great my cellular phone reception is in a place as big as Iota “Big Eye” Stadium in the Starblaydian city of Penningworth. It is just amazing.
Now let us focus on the football match, as since it is a World Cup, every match is very important. All the players for these world class sides really show world class talent, but one player really stuck out to me, and that was Progressan striker Guna Odmod. He seemed to have a godlike presence on the field, in position as if he was moderating the play of the match with his mind. Oddly, despite his obvious skill, Odmod seemed to be free of defenders most of the time and made the most peculiar shots with speeds never seen and very strange arcs and curves coming from whatever ball he kicks. Luckily, he seemed a bit rusty at first and missed some shots that our Melmondian goalkeeper, Alex McCarthy would have never had a chance to stop. Then it occurred to me, Guna Odmod had an unfair advantage. My magical senses finally found the secret behind Odmod’s tremendous play, telekinesis! There had to be some sort of rule against this, as obviously an unfair advantage shouldn’t be legal. I brought this very old rulebook of this sport called football. Luckily for the Melmond side, the dust I blew off the cover of this old rulebook made a dust cloud which blinded Guna Odmod from scoring one of his magical goals. Three minutes later, my suspicions proved correct. I found the passage, “Thou shall use the material of the head, but thou shall not use the material of the mind.” I ran toward manager David Bixler to give him this rulebook to show my findings and we both confronted the referee. However, the referee didn’t believe us, citing that telekinesis hasn’t been proven yet and that this rule book was written 215 years before the first World Cup.
Despite the referee ignoring our pleas, I knew one way to stop Odmod and his cheating ways. I remember meeting this one magician who was from the former Warnocks Wizards. He taught me this spell that actually neutralizes any telekinesis permanently. Of course, this spell takes about 14 minutes to fully recite, and it has to be done word for word and a certain cadence. I will need all my concentration to thwart Odmod and the Melmond National Team to keep the ball away from the feet of the Progressans. Being the good team they are; the Melmond National Team was able to keep their end of the bargain. And being the good wizard and necromancer I am; I was able to complete the spell and stop Odmod. In the second half, he was very ineffective and played very very average. That couldn’t be said for our Fearless Farmers, as Gene MacDougall scored the go ahead goal and Peeko Noodleschlausen scored the insurance goal. Our Fearless Farmers won, oh happy day! They now lead the group. Their next match is against Dance 2 Revolution, the number one ranked team in the World. I guess I better go from necromancing to dancing! Ha ha ha! Anyway, toodleloo, and make sure to check out who the Melmondian Goddess thinks is going to die in the year 2005 in the pantheon known as Earth.

The Melmondian Goddess' Death Watch (http://www.theghoulpool.com/list-mia05.htm)

Krytenia

06-02-2005, 03:59

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST
DRUIDA/PEDRIANA/MARLIGANTIS EDITION

One One And One One Is Two

ANOTHER one-all draw for the Celestials, as they failed to can the Spaam. The Spaamanians could have snatched all three points, but as it is the group is on tentahooks as reigning champs Crystilakere took a chunk out of the Llama Harmers, 2-1. Krytenia can qualify, but must beat the World Champions to do so. Oh crap.

Phillip Neasden now stands at two games, two goals, as his goal early in the second half negated the strike in the first period from Stan Bedi. However, it was nearly all for nought as an inswinging Spaam corner saw a header crash against the bar...from Krytenian centre-back Stephen Clay.

No side is yet eliminated from the group. So let's look at the qualification picture.

SPAAM: Through as long as they don't lose by two or more. Lose by less than four and they're still through as long as the other game is a draw.

CRYSTILAKERE: A win does it. A draw is OK as long as Lethislavania fail to win. Lose and it's bye-bye to the repeat.

KRYTENIA: A win is enough. Anything else isn't. A draw, and bizarrely, they will be both eliminated and undefeated.

LETHISLAVANIA: A two-goal victory and they make it. One goal, and they scrape through if Crystilakere-Krytenia is a draw. Fail to win and they go home.

Munitis makes one change to the side, the ineffectual Rimmer dropped for the returning Moreaux. The team:

R - - - - - - - - - - - - - - VERNAZZA - - - - - - - - - - - - - - L

MOLIANO - CLAY - VALACCI - WARZYCHA

ZAVAROV - VAN STAVEREN - RENSHAW - PICARDO

MOREAUX - NEASDEN

MARGARET X. SN38-2005.

KRYTENIA................1
Neasden 49
SPAAM....................1
Bedi 14

QUALIFIERS
H v LWF : W 2-1 (Downhead Park, Kallia)
A v OCE : D 1-1
H v PTE : D 0-0 (Sixways Stadium, Avidia)
A v LAM : W 3-0
A v SHB : D 1-1
H v REJ : W 3-2 (Davis Memorial Stadium, Everton City)
A v EAZ : L 1-2
A v LWF : W 4-2
H v OCE : W 2-0 (Mellion Lane, Davisham)
A v PTE : D 2-2
H v LAM : W 1-0 (Oxley Park, Everton City)
H v SHB : D 1-1 (New Coalfields, New Osteria)
A v REJ : W 2-0
H v EAZ : D 0-0 (Davis Memorial Stadium, Everton City)

FINALS
N v LTH : D 1-1 (Dave Dome, Dave, Druida)
N v SPM : D 1-1 (Trevor Gardens, Trevor, Druida)
N v CRY : ????? (Anwir Cymru Arms, Llllllllllcwllllllll, Druida)

Melmond

06-02-2005, 06:24

Off Rhythm
Melmond Too Aggressive, Dance 2 Revolution Sidesteps To Victory
By Henry Kalangalangalang of the Melmond City Herald

BISARLEY, STARBLAYDIA—This was by far one of the most excited and eager Melmond sides I have ever seen. They saw and opportunity and quickly seized upon it. Melmond was coming off a big 2-nil win against Kaze Progressa and they saw Dance 2 Revolution on the ropes as they merely tied Sarzonia. Melmond was hungering to make a knockout on the number one ranked team in the world. However, through this ebullience, they found out the hard way why Dance 2 Revolution is the best team in the world. Despite not having much of a football pedigree in the nation, the nation’s obsession with the game Dance Dance Revolution has bred a nation who is very agile, coordinated, fleet of foot, and probably most importantly, takes directions very well. It is this fitness and discipline which has taken them far.
There was heavy rain in the city of Bisarley in northern Starblaydia, so the retractable roof was closed for this match. The opening ceremonies were the usual: some ceremonies that centered on Starblaydian culture and the mandatory national anthems of each nation. In a bit of Dance 2 Revolution tradition, a pickup Dance Dance Revolution match between a Melmondian and a Revolutionaire was done with a girl who pointed in random directions and judges who made sure the feet went the correct way. They danced to the national anthems of each nation. During the fast paced Dance 2 Revolution national anthem, the Melmondian accidentally flung his shoe off and lost his balance, giving the Revolutionaire the victory. Perhaps Melmondians should stick to shoe flinging.
The fired up Fearless Farmers started the match rather strongly, controlling most of the possession in the first part of the first half and quickly shutting down any Dance 2 Revolution attack. The Fearless Farmers just swarmed the field. The first goal was scored by the Fearless Farmers as Dance 2 Revolution midfielder Xipzorxt Jinforto, being pressured by Melmond defender Charles Unne, makes a bad pass which is intercepted by Melmondian midfielder Pauline Hulme, who has plenty of room and eventually find Tim Remans who makes the strong strike in which a diving Dance 2 Revolution goalkeeper Verdio Day had no chance to stop. Remans scored at the 21st minute to give the Fearless Farmers the 1-nil lead.
However, the aggressiveness would begin to take their toll on the Fearless Farmers ten minutes later. Melmond midfielder Martin Goodwin Jr., eager to pounce on a free ball, instinctively pushed down Dance 2 Revolution midfielder Qwerty to the pitch, earning Goodwin Jr. a yellow card at the 36th minute. Qwerty would get his revenge, as he scores the equaliser at the 40th minute as Melmond goalkeeper Alex McCarthy pursued Dance 2 Revolution striker Uber, in which Uber taps the ball to Qwerty and Qwerty strikes it in. The first half ends in a 1-1 tie.
The end of the first half was unfortunately for the Fearless Farmers a sign of things to come. Dance 2 Revolution was the reflection of their national obsession, a coordinated, athletic team with lots and lots of discipline. The Revolutionaires patient counterattacks are what killed the Melmond National Team. The Fearless Farmers were caught over committing on whoever was in possession of the ball. Dance 2 Revolution strung together some pass, and their striker Uber ended up with the ball with no one but Melmond goalkeeper Alex McCarthy. The young and exuberant McCarthy was no match for the peak condition and veteran skills of Uber, as he put in the go ahead goal at the 62nd minute to give the Revolutionaires the 2-1 lead.
The Fearless Farmers try to feverishly come up with a counterattack as they feel their chances of not only knocking off the number one ranked Dance 2 Revolution side, but knocking them out of the World Cup altogether. However, Dance 2 Revolution saw the Melmond defence to far up and used the long ball to give Uber another clear chance at the net. Melmond goalkeeper Alex McCarthy rushed toward Uber to put on the pressure but he prematurely made his defensive move and Uber just kicked it over the diving McCarthy to get his second goal of the match, giving Dance 2 Revolution the 3-1 lead at the 77th minute.
With only thirteen minutes left, both sides made some key personnel changes as Melmond was going for the near all out attack while Dance 2 Revolution was going with the System Karela. Melmond substituted two defenders with another striker and midfielder and Dance 2 Revolution substituted its strikers and put in more defenders. The discipline Revolutionaires more adeptly played their system and seemed to outsmart the Fearless Farmers and their attacks. Dance 2 Revolution wins the match 3-1, and everyone is still alive in the group. Melmond may have the easier task in Sarzonia; the team Melmond finished their group play with in the last World Cup, earning a 1-nil victory over the Stars.

Goals
Remans, MEL 21st
Qwerty, D2R 40th
Uber, D2R 62nd
Uber, D2R 77th

Cards
Goodwin Jr., MEL 36th

Standings

Other Group D Result
Kaze Progressa 2 – Sarzonia 0

Group D
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Dance 2 Revolution 4 1 1 0 3:1 2
2. Melmond 3 1 0 1 3:3 0
3. Kaze Progressa 3 1 0 1 2:2 0
4. Sarzonia 1 0 1 1 0:2 -2

Team Stats
Goals: Gene MacDougall (1), Peeko Noodleschlausen (1), Tim Remans (1)
Cards: Martin Goodwin Jr. (1)

Melmond World Cup Schedule (all in Starblaydia)

v Kaze Progressa (Iota “Big Eye” Stadium, Penning worth) W 2-0
v Dance 2 Revolution (Obsidian Palace, Bisarley) L 3-1
v Sarzonia (Obsidian Palace, Bisarley)

Next Game
vs. Sarzonia (Obsidian Palace, Bisarley)

Well, this is the team Melmond beat to advance into the knockout rounds. Let us hope history repeats itself. Here are the scenarios. If Melmond wins, they are in the knockout round and depending on the Dance 2 Revolution-Kaze Progressa match, could be first place in the group. A loss and Melmond is out of the World Cup. And of course, a tie brings lots of interesting scenarios. A Kaze Progressan win would bring them in the knockout round as they win the group, and the margin of victory would have to be 2 or more. A Dance 2 Revolution win gets Melmond in the knockout round. A tie between these two sides would advance Dance 2 Revolution as they would win the group. Melmond and Kaze Progressa would be determined by who has scored the most goals. Seeing that Melmond is more of a finesse side this time around, expect Bixler to play a rather stealthy match. Here is his usual starting lineup, but don’t be surprised if some of the speedier players come in as substitutes.

GK- Alex McCarthy
D- Notint Hecloset
D- Veronica Dean
D- Charles Unne
D- Laola Saenu
M- Peeko Noodleschlausen
M- Martin Goodwin Jr.
M- Pauline Hulme
M- Jake Cormier
F- Gene MacDougall
F- Tim Remans

For tickets to Starblaydia and the match, call the Therewegoes Travel Agency at 3-18-357-9009. There are few tickets reserved so call very soon!!! Although the people of Starblaydia seem like very nice people, looking at their government description, you are likely to be Starblaydian purple if you don’t know the strict rules there. A manual of the laws in Starblaydia which differ from the laissez-faire Melmond will be given to all travelers to the match.

Turori

06-02-2005, 11:32

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/tn/logo.gif

Turori [3]-[1] Lovisa

----------------------------------------

-------------------The Turori Eels entered into their match against Lovisa with high expectations, despite the slani repuation of their opposition. Head coach Mauritus Banda held the weight of a Nation on his shoulders, risking his holy image among the Turori faithful by fielding an un-cool, aging lineup to battle the tenacity of Lovisa.

-------------------The match started out with Lovisa in control. Lovsa started to come forward, but Martika Ecspo slid in to break up the play at the last gasp. The Eels were hit hard when defender Marlian Hunial twisted his knee on the play, and he had to be removed. Former youth star Ugo Doohan came on, but without time to warmup, he was guilty almost immediately of conceding a goal to Lovisa, playing an errant backpass which the foreigners were able to intercept and put Lovisa up 1-0.

-------------------It was not all bad for the Eels however, as Doohan quickly worked to make amends for his mistake, and earned a freekick 25 yards out. Cuolia Tuirma stepped up and slipped a picturesque kick under the bar to level the scores and give his team the momental edge into the second half.

-------------------The second half started and the Eels kept up the pressure. Doohan again made an impact, coming in to volley powerfully towards the Lovisa net. Their goalkeepere could not control the ball, but was able to put it behind for a Turori corner. Tuirma stepped up to take the corner, but it was fisted away again. Ecspo collected the ball, then found Kiatin Likao free on the edge of the area, and Likao caught the Lovisa goalkeeper off guard to give Turori the lead. Late in the match, Banda finally introduced some youth in the squad, as Jutar Renaso came on and netted in the final minute of normal time to finish the match.

-------------------The Eels are in top position to qualify from the group and make their 4th consecutive second round appearance. If the Eels can avoid a multiple goal defeat at the hands of Rejistania they will be through, and a Second Round win could see the Eels in the top 5 in the world rankings for the first time.

Referee: Radek Frozan [Hisam]

Turori Eels (4-4-2) ::
[GK] Milauo Slietah, [D] Linoi Niabula, [D] Marlian Hunial, [D] Martika Ecspo, [D]Kiatin Likao [M] Tika Poloni, [M] Malaino Mumamba, [M] Yabaiy Tbaiao, [M] Cuolia Tuirma, [F] Jualiar Vumaou, [F] Akamoari Liano
BENCH::
[GK] Jarod Dreka, [D] Maratima Tareak, [AM] Kabaofo Iobabao, [U] Ugo Doohan, [M] Rikko Ambama, [F] Mika Sakatorra [F] Jutar Renaso

----------------------------------------
RESULTS AND OTHER INFORMATION
----------------------------------------

All Turori matches to be played in Druida (Unless Otherwise Noted)

Turori::[4-1]-Cockbill Street
Turori::[3-1]- Lovisa
Turori::[X-X]-Rejistania

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Ao1b(8 ............... OouYvaiVYaqkBWjwIIOB ............. 001092019726X9

Turori

06-02-2005, 11:50

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/tn/logo.gif

Kansu-Ramzi gets full debut against Orange-Blues

------------------- Turori Eels head coach Mauritus Banda has finalized his roster for the final of three world cup group stage matches in Druida. The Eels, who currently sit atop the group table with the maximum 6 points from the first two games of the competition, will be squaring off against former World Champions Rejistania. The Eels have had much success in the past against Rejistania, stemming from a World Cup 17 Group Stage Victory; 1-0 over Rejistania, ending the Orange-Blues unbeaten streak and putting the Eels through to the finals over Eystrck.

--------------------Some of the faces remain from that squad, with Goalkeeper and goalscoring fiend Milauo Slietah will get the nod once again, solidifying his position as the most capped player in Turorian history. Free Kick Specialists Cuolia Tuirma will wear the captains armband while Akamoari Liano and Jualiar Vumaou will be two of the three prongs atop an attacking 3-4-3 lineup for the Eels.

--------------------The big change in the Eels roster for this match, however, sees Rejistani born Jiateo Kansu-Ramzi get the nod for his full international debut at centre-back along side Strike FC defender Marlian Hunial and budding young defender Maratima Tareak.

GK :: Milauo Slietah ( 32 ) : Cednia Beach AFC
xD :: Maratima Tareak ( 20 ) : Wzkknfs Hnyd Pinks (MEL)
xD :: Jiateo Kansu-Ramzi ( 19 ) : Sen-La-Sa~o Relekhati (REJ) Rejistania
xD :: Marlian Hunial ( 32 ) : Strike (VIL)
xM :: Mika Sakatorra ( 27 ) : Jlinal Cove FC (VIL)
xM :: Malaino Mumamba ( 26 ) : Yeaddin Owls (VIL)
xM :: Cuolia Tuirma ( 31 ) : Marine Coast (VIL)
MF :: Martiia Rawaii ( 21 ) : Legalese City (LGL)
xF :: Jutar Ranaso ( 22 ) : O'Conner Greens (MEL)
xF :: Jualiar Vumaou ( 31 ) : Strike (VIL)
xF :: Akamoari Liano ( 32 ) : Yeaddin Owls (VIL)

GK :: Jarod Dreka ( 26 ) : Vecchio Victors (STR) Starblaydia
xD :: Raoibn Olioab ( 21 ) : Titania Forests (MEL)
xM :: Ugo Doohan ( 27 ) : Kionao Locals
DM :: Julio Matengo ( 21 ) : Turori Youth Academy Vilitan
MF :: Izzitra Bomai ( 25 ) : Wunokalsa Waridi
xM :: Martiia Vluka ( 20 ) : Ugiata Uglies (KZP)
xF :: Nikki Inostraza ( 26 ) : Jhanna United (STR) Starblaydia

----------------------------------------
RESULTS AND OTHER INFORMATION
----------------------------------------

All Turori matches to be played in Druida (Unless Otherwise Noted)

Turori::[4-1]-Cockbill Street
Turori::[3-1]- Lovisa
Turori::[X-X]-Rejistania

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Ao1b(8 ............... OouYvaiVYaqkBWjwIIOB ............. 001092019726X9

Rejistania

06-02-2005, 12:28

In a dark room, in Rejistania:
"Hejida Jala'he, you sounded excited!"

"Indeed, Sumijen'he! Hexatux is not working!"

"Su?"

"Check this:" The person, we only know as Jala opens a terminal connection to Hexatux - nothing happens.

"Slani! Did you check the terminal?"

"Sure, I did!"

"Did you check the cable?"

"Do you think I am dumb?"

"Of course not, but excited. People tend to forget important things then!"

"Kah, Do you want me to check if Hexatux is still up and running now?"

"No need to, you call Siki. I will go!"

"Ji veka."

The person, only known as Jala starts typing a long number into a phone, conveniently located in the room. We can only hear what he is saying. The last experiments with a magical camera of RP made me strand in prehistorical ages, so somehow I am not in the mood for risks.

"Rej'he su?... Here Jala'he!"

"No, I do not know what time it is in Druida, but I don't care! Hexatux is down!"

"I don't get a terminal connection!"

"Yes, the terminal is working!"

"I checked every single one!"

"Yes, I checked the cables, they lead to Hexatux and are plugged in correctly!"

"No, I did not reboot it... Sumijen'he is checking its state!"

"Su?"

"I cannot, I don't have a connection to Hexatux!"

"Funny, this is no mobile phone!"

"Yes, I write down: Ory h~severe, h tilde s? ... okay Ory h~severe ama. That restarts the terminal server?"

"Veka, I'll call if it works!"

"What? Better if it doesn't and let you sleep? Ji veka."

Jala'he hangs up and goes to Hexatux, Sumijen'he is just typing something into it.

"Hey, you know the password?"

Oops, here I have to interfere! The magical camera of RP its switched off while Jala tells it!

"Okay, login works locally! Now? What did Siki say?"

"Restart the terminal server! Ory h~severe ama!"

"'la'ama! Yeah!"

"Well, Hexatux IS female and needs a lot of attention!"

Starblaydia

06-02-2005, 13:39

The Druida Region's scores for MD3 have now been Telegrammed.

Dance 2 Revolution

06-02-2005, 15:27

Dance 2 Revolution win.

Disciplined D2R defeat farmers with destructive counter attacks

Dance 2 Revolution bounced back from a 0-0 draw against Sarzonia with a 3-1 win against Melmond. However, early on, D2R looked to be heading for another dissappointing display when Melmond capitilised on a bad pass by Jinforto.

Maeda looked to be readying his hairdryer as the half came to a close, but when a Qwerty goal set up by Uber brought the game back level, the half time talk began looking a little more calm.

The Fearless Farmers showed a lot of heart but over-commitment and aggression would be the downfall of them. As Melmond players tried to charge down the ball all over the field, Dance 2 Revolution patiently passed the ball around and an opening for Uber finally came. Uber put the ball away for 2-1.

By now, Melmond were starting to see their chances slip, and started to play even more agressively. Dance 2 Revolution were not going to stand for that, and with a long ball over the high-up defence, Uber was left with a 1-on-1, and Uber just doesn't miss from there for 3-1

After this, D2R switched to a 6-2-2-0 and just swallowed the Melmond attacks, and after the 3rd goal, the win always looked comfortable.

Full Time:
Melmond 1(Remans 21')
Dance 2 Revolution 3(Qwerty 40', Uber 62' 77')

Next Match: Vs. Kaze Progressa

It's the match Dance 2 Revolution have been waiting for for the best part of 34 years, Dance 2 Revolution against Kaze Progressa, Dance 2 Revolution have a chance to eliminate their idols, and likewise, Kaze Progressa have a chance to eliminate the #1 ranked team in the world. We know that it will be sold out...we don't know what the score will end up as.

Eauz

06-02-2005, 17:02

Equality does seem to work!

Les Bleus coming into this match, undefeated in 16 matches. Having hit the hardest part of their schedule, Les Bleus were looking to at least salvage a victory in the final match day. If things were to go well, all they would need is a tie, but coach Joseuf didn’t want to rely on “IF’s”. Joseuf was hoping to get a victory against the weakest team in the group. Les Bleus offence was also hoping to get back in their feet, as they had only scored two goals in the past two matches.

The offence seemed to be alive in this match, as Les Bleus had their first opportunity during the 7th minute of play, when Rousseau ran down a ball in the corner, and kicked it towards the centre, where a few Eauz players were situated. Vasser received the ball, but couldn’t do much with it, and passed it off to Alia, who headed the ball, but it sailed just past the uprights. Three minutes later, Alia received another long pass, but it was deep in the corner, and tried to send the ball towards the net, but it hit off the defender and out of play. Lacavailler took the corner kick, but nothing resulted from it. The offence was alive and well, but it just couldn’t capitalise on the opportunities it had. At the other end, Jeruselem was putting on a little attack of their own, as a pass, which seemed to be on a string, went straight towards an open Jeruselem forward, passing the Eauz defence. The player took the shot, but was blocked by Bedeau, and tipped over the net. The corner kick was headed, but clanked off the top bar. Both teams were getting their opportunities, but could not get anything going. During injury time, a major mistake by the Jeruselem defence left Theodoric all alone, but the keeper came out, and dove for the ball. The attack was stopped in its tracks, and that ended the attacks for Eauz in the first half. The two teams went into recess tied at 0. Eauz fans were worried that their team wouldn’t show up in time, and end up not advancing to the next round. They did though see on the score board that Vilita was winning 1 – 0 at the break, which was good news for Eauz.

The second half arrived, and Joseuf was hoping the little speech during the break to his team would encourage them to play better. It seemed to help, as right off the kick off; Les Bleus were rushing the Jeruselem defence. Vasser lifted the ball in the air a bit, with his pass towards Rousseau, who headed the ball, despite the defensive pressure, and watched it sail into the net. Rousseau ran over to the right corner, and saluted the fans. Les Bleus went up 1 – 0 at the 46th minute of play. A few minutes later, D'Aubigne brought the attack up, and passed it over to Mendove, who let go of a long shot. The shot deflected off a defenders foot, and sailed towards the net, but hit the upright. The keeper was surprised and happy to see that it didn’t go in. During the 79th minute of play, Eauz fans were celebrating, as they saw that Vilita went up 2 – 0 in their match. Eauz was still on top with a 1 – 0 lead, and the match was coming to a close. It was looking as if Eauz would also take a victory, but Jeruselem had other plans. As time ticked down around the 89th minute of play, Jeruselem found some final strength to get themselves back into the match. An attack went up the middle, and was passed off to the side. As players got into position, a pass was send into the air. Eauz defence tired to get to it, but a Jeruselem forward, who turned around and put the ball into the back of the net, claimed it. Eauz fans were shocked, and Bedeau laid on the ground in disbelief. He could not believe that Jeruselem had tied the match up at 1. Time ticked away, and Eauz teammates were in shock and frustration, as they saw three points slip away. Les Bleus would settle with the 1 point, putting them in dangerous territory.

The Vilita/TEN match finally finished, and Vilita won 2 – 0, which guaranteed Eauz an advancement into the second round. Eauz couldn’t believe how unlucky and luck they were in just 10 minutes. Surprising enough, they qualified with only 3 ties in group stages. As for the next round, they will face off against EL CID THE HERO, who has proven to be very strong, and a major surprise in this cup. Not many assumed they would get out of the first round, being in a group with CH, Iansisle & the home team, Druida. Despite this, they ended up in 1st place. Their defence seems very strong, Eauz better hope they find their offence if they are to have any chance in the second round.

Group F P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Vilita 3 2 1 0 4 1 +3 6
Eauz 3 0 3 0 3 3 0 3
Jeruselem 3 0 2 1 2 3 -1 2
The Eagles Nest 3 0 2 1 2 4 -2 2

Svecia

06-02-2005, 22:51

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

SVECIA OUT AGAIN
Same old finals story as Lightning get bittersweet victory

The Belmore Family 0 Svecia 2

*Disclaimer: The sports writers of this newspaper are fed up with writing about the failures of the team in the finals. We´ll let you know how things go next time, but for this edition, just read the title and you´ll get as good an idea as if we wrote a 9 page article.*

Vilita

06-02-2005, 22:52

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

just read the title and you´ll get as good an idea as if we wrote a 9 page article.*

No matter how many times the people of vilita see "Vilamna Dagens Nyheter", we never know what it means :(

Krytenia

06-02-2005, 23:58

No matter how many times the people of vilita see "Vilamna Dagens Nyheter", we never know what it means :(

That's the masthead. Not the title. :p

"Vilamna Dagens Nyheter" means "Vilamna Daily News", or similar.

Squornshelous

07-02-2005, 02:36

Squornshelous moving on

Pschychoes defeat TnUI to reach Round of 16
The standings for Group C currently look like this, but depending on the result of the Nova Brittanicus-Adam Island match, NB could replace TnUI as the second place finisher. This would require a 3 goal win by Nova Brittanicus.

Team GP W D L F A GD P
Squornshelous 3 2 0 1 4 2 +2 6 Q
Total n Utter Insanity 3 2 0 1 5 4 +1 6
Nova Brittanicus 2 1 0 1 3 5 -2 3
Adam Island 2 0 0 2 0 2 -2 0 E

The game started out as a tough defensive battle, with neither side getting a good shot on goal. The return of Craig Snell on the Squornshelan side was a big factor in this, as he was all over the field making plays to deny the Insanicians the ball. As the game wore on, chinks opened in each side's armor, with Sven Erikson tripping over a divot in the field and allowing a shot on goal to (player) who, luckily for Squornshelous, sent it over the goal. Lenny Speer also made a perfect save on a 35th minute free kick taken from just outside the box, diving and punching it out towards the corner, where Devin Green sent it upfield. The Insanicians were unprepared for this attack, and Scott Neese caught (player) flat footed and played the ball forward to Alexander Popov, who passed on a backheel to Jako Arnesson. Arnesson tore through a gap in the defense and blasted a shot on goal whic bounced of of (keeper)'s hands and into the net. This goal seemed to strengthen the resolve of the Pschychoes' defense, who didn't allow another shot until the 52nd minute. Squornshelous got off several shots in the early second half, with Gerrard bouncing one off the left post and out over the end line, and Popov bouncing one off the keeper and out. Arnesson almost scored again on the ensuing corner, with his shot passing just over the bar. However, the Insanicians are no pushover team and came back strongly, pushing the defense and keeper Lenny Speer to the limit. The Pschychoes held strong though, with Speer pucking five corner kicks from the air and the defense causing 6 offsides calls. At last, in the 74th minute, the insurance goal was added. Gerrard took possesion of the ball at midfield and dribbled slowly toward the TnUI goal, as (player) approached him, he suddenly took off in a terrific burst of speed and played the ball to Kenny washington on the outside. Washington crossed the ball back in, but it was just a little too high for Popov to reach, bouncing back towards the other side of the field off his head. Gerrard, however, had followed up his pass and was waiting for the ball. He caught the entire defense leaning the wrong way, a result of fatigue no doubt, and put the ball in the bottom corner off the net. As a final insult, (keeper) ended up hitting his head on the goalpost trying to make the save.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 2-0 Total n Utter Insanity

Scoring Summary:
SQ: Arnesson [36]
SQ: Gerrard [74]

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Gerrard: 14
Popov: 9
Arnesson: 9
Washington: 3

Total n Utter Insanity

07-02-2005, 06:14

Pschychoes defeat TnUI to reach Round of 16
The standings for Group C currently look like this, but depending on the result of the Nova Brittanicus-Adam Island match, NB could replace TnUI as the second place finisher. This would require a 3 goal win by Nova Brittanicus.

Team GP W D L F A GD P
Squornshelous 3 2 0 1 4 2 +2 6 Q
Total n Utter Insanity 3 2 0 1 5 4 +1 6
Nova Brittanicus 2 1 0 1 3 5 -2 3
Adam Island 2 0 0 2 0 2 -2 0 E

Squornshelous proved to be stupidest team left in the World Cup.

TnUI played their second team in a match that didn't really matter. Losing 2-0 to Squornshelous they top the group.

Team GP W D L F A GD P
Total n Utter Insanity 3 2 0 1 5 3 +2 6 Q
Squornshelous 3 2 0 1 4 2 +2 6
Nova Brittanicus 2 1 0 1 3 5 -2 3
Adam Island 2 0 0 2 0 2 -2 0 E

Druida

07-02-2005, 12:28

NEWI OF THE WORLD

Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po presents...
WORLD CUP DONKEYWATCH
A regular look at the hopeless and clueless in the footballing world.

This week: DRUIDA

We won a game!!! Woohoo!!!

What??? Iansisle won as well, and we're out on goal difference!?!?! In front of our home crowd!!! Aw, bugger.

In goal, number 1) Trefor Edwards. Once the darling of Druidan football. Now looks lost 99% of the time. OK, he's been playing with ten new team mates, and he hasn't done too much wrong, but we have to start with the goalkeeper, OK?

2) Roland McDonald. Luckily, after that, we can just go for whoever. Roland here fits the bill. Seen recently messing up big time against EL CID THE HERO, Roland here seems to have caught that common disease found in ageing Druidan defenders - uselessness.

3) Trevor McDonald. As the Hollies once sang, "He aint heavy, he's my brother." Unfortunately, the weight of the mistakes made by McDonald the elder seems to have made McDonald the younger capitulate. Or is it the other way round. I can't decide. And when it comes to defensive matters, neither can these two.

4) Dan Northfleet. Leading card getter in the Melmond Premier League last season, though whether or not these were "Get Well Soon" cards aimed at his apparent sudden loss of all ability or yellow and red cards given due to his complete inability to tackle anyone, we don't quite know.

5) Trevor Rodgers. Man whose acrobatic diving header against Iansisle was effectively the decider between the Ians going through or getting knocked out. Because of it, the went through, and Trevor's own team were eliminated. Trevor here is not exactly the most blessed in the looks department. Indeed, he's probably hit every branch on the ugly tree, leading many a Druidan fan to ask the question, "If Trevor Rodgers, who exactly does he Rodger?"

6) Trevor Trevor. Just how exactly does this guy make it onto the Druidan roster every time? Just because it's the most common name in Druida... I can imagine the squad selection meeting now. "We need one more player, who should we have?" "Oh, just put Trevor Trevor, I'm sure one of them will turn up." In this way, a poor man's Alan Belmore, though considering Druida's Alan Belmore was shot prior to the World Cup finals, that probably means someone squirted a water pistol in Trevor's eyes.

7) Trevor Law. Is this guy still alive? Well, apparently so. Scored his first international goal way back when in World Cup 15 qualifying aged twelve against some piddly little team called Europa Brittania. Unfortunately, like the Brittanicans, Law's career has gone downhill since, despite keeping his place in various Druid teams over the years. Hat-trick next match. (World Cup 21 qualifying anyone?)

Next up: No-one. That's it for this column. We'll be back with some poor (surely 'proper'? - ed) journalism in time for the start of World Cup 21. From us in bed (surely 'Cefn'? - ed), enjoy the rest of the tournament!

Spaam

07-02-2005, 12:54

Stan Saves Spaam's Skin

Going into the final match of the group stage against Lethislavania, Spaam needed to ensure that they didn't lose by more than one goal to progress to the round of 16. However, Lethi went out with all guns firing, in a last ditched effort to scuttle Spaam's amazing journey and progress to the next stage themselves. An exciting first half saw the Lethislani come up with two goals, though critics continue to label them as 'soft' and lambast goalie King S. Ford for his mistakes. The second half was a tighter affair, with no goal coming in the first 90 minutes, and the Spaamanians becoming more and more desperate as their chances of progressing started to slip away. However, it was the 91st minute that saw star striker Stan Bedi score his second goal in as many matches, supported by a pin-point accurate left wing strike by midfielder T. N. U. Insanity. The whistle blew less than a minute after, and the Spaamanians left the field rejoicing, while the Lethislanis were full of mixed emotions - they had won the battle but lost the war. Time will only tell if the 46th ranked dark horse can continue their incredible luck, as they go up against Turori in tomorrows Round of 16 clash.

Krytenia

07-02-2005, 13:22

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST
DRUIDA/PEDRIANA/MARLIGANTIS EDITION

Meet The Caledonians

CRYSTILAKERE were simply too strong for the team formerly known as the Celestials, as Krytenia were eliminated from the first round of the finals once again. The fans have now decided to call the team "The Caledonians" in deference to a famous fictional team, "Scotland", whose attempts to get past the first round of tournaments were scuppered in comical fashion. The Krytenia Caledonians will play, from next season, in navy and sky blue halved strips. Away kits will remain red.

Whose Cup Is It Anyway?

Confusion reigned over the vote for the hosts of World Cup XXI at WCC Headquarters, Arridia. Cockbill Street and (boo!)Lethislavania were originally given the rights, then it wasn't them, then it was....All we do know for certain is - it's not the Raptor Claw/Legalese bid.

MARGARET X. SN38-2005.

KRYTENIA................0

CRYSTILAKERE..........2
We're to depressed to care

QUALIFIERS
H v LWF : W 2-1 (Downhead Park, Kallia)
A v OCE : D 1-1
H v PTE : D 0-0 (Sixways Stadium, Avidia)
A v LAM : W 3-0
A v SHB : D 1-1
H v REJ : W 3-2 (Davis Memorial Stadium, Everton City)
A v EAZ : L 1-2
A v LWF : W 4-2
H v OCE : W 2-0 (Mellion Lane, Davisham)
A v PTE : D 2-2
H v LAM : W 1-0 (Oxley Park, Everton City)
H v SHB : D 1-1 (New Coalfields, New Osteria)
A v REJ : W 2-0
H v EAZ : D 0-0 (Davis Memorial Stadium, Everton City)

FINALS
N v LTH : D 1-1 (Dave Dome, Dave, Druida)
N v SPM : D 1-1 (Trevor Gardens, Trevor, Druida)
N v CRY : L 0-2 (Anwir Cymru Arms, Llllllllllcwllllllll, Druida)

EL CID THE HERO

07-02-2005, 17:44

the following actions happened between the hours of 4pm and 5pm.

Jonny Doomhammer is in the entrance to his hotel room getting ready to give a press conference about the teams qualification. S Sam is with him.

DH: so lets go over this again. we lost 2-1 to Iansisle but still managed to top the group, right?

SS: that’s right sir.

DH: and the hosts. their knocked out?

SS: yep.

DH: so why do I have to give this big press conference when I should be in bed!

SS: well the next match is in Griffin Park.

DH: what’s that got to do with anything?

SS: there is still great resentment from the Druida fans because we defeated them on their opening match.

DH: I see..

SS: so what we want you to do is try and get the Druida people on our side. You know, try and get the fans on our side.

DH: I can do that.

SS: good you’re on in five.

DH: WHAT. You can't do this. this isn't fair...

TV begins broadcast live across whole of ECTH

DH: YOUR ALL STUPID MORONS WHO HAVEN'T GOT 3 PIECES OF COMMON SENCE TO RUB BETWEEN YOU. I

Broadcast ends

DH: CAN'T BELIVE YOU PUT ME IN THIS... Its on isn't it?

SS: it's already been and gone. Well done. You’ve have just alienated all of the lions fans. Perhaps even more so.

DH: well that’s too bad. I’m going to bed.

SS: but sir it's 4PM.

DH: you obviously haven’t heard of the wonder of chloroform.

One Red Dot

07-02-2005, 18:12

To: Alvin Ker (President - aSWORD) <a_ker@asword.gov.rd>
From: Chris Gwee (WC Heac Coach) <cgwee@cnfc.org.rd>
Subject: MD3

I guess we have to eat our words. We lost to host Starblaydia 1-3, but it doesn't matter, since we are through to the next round. Some slightly discouraging news though: we are up against Audioslavia. Sure, they might not be considered the reigning champs anymore, but I'm sure they are back with a vengeance, ever since we gave them their only loss in the qualifying earlier - a 2-3 one at that. And even if, IF, we miraculously win, we'd probably be up against Starblaydia again. Lord, help us with this slani arrangement.

Adam Island

07-02-2005, 19:43

Adam Island Wins First WC Match
http://adamisland.blogspirit.com/archive/2005/02/07/adam_island_wins_first_wc_match.html

No one expected Adam Island to advance past the group round, and Adam Island proved them right. But no one expected them to win a game either, and Adam Island reminded the critics not to underestimate the fledgling republic that always seems to surpass expectations, at least by a tiny bit.

Adam Island beat Nova Britannicus 1-0 in their final game of World Cup XX, giving the Adam Islanders their first win in World Cup history. This win also gave them 3 points and a -1 goal differential in the group round, both AI records.

Adam Island was projected to gain only 1 point in group play and finish last by all the major prediction agencies. But as usual, they were better than everyone thought and got 3 points in group play and finished in third.

Next season will likely feature a management change, as Deidra Gowin has been criticized for ignoring her team Adarob Athletic while she coaches the World Cup squad and has come under fire for her treatment of the players this Cup.

Squornshelous

08-02-2005, 00:38

Squornshelous to face D2R

Pschychoes take aim at the world's #1 team
In their quarterfinal fixture, Squornshelous will have an opportunity to exact some revenge for the result of world cup 17, where Sance 2 Revolution pulled off a surprise defeat of the Pshcychoes to knock them out of the cup. Here, it would be the other way around, as D2R through some freak coincidence have risen to #1 in the world and Squornshelous are currently #14. Trevor Gerrard is optimistic about the game. "It's a perfect chance to show that we really are better than they are." Starting Goalkeeper Lenny Speer, who is the only remaining member of the World Cup 17 Pschychoes probably wants this game more than anyone else. Coming off two consecutive shutouts, including one against 4th ranked Total n Utter Insanity, he also feels very confident. "I think that we're gonna surprise them, they aren't expecting much of a fight from us and we're gearing up to kick the hell out of them. It's gonna be a great game."

Audioslavia

08-02-2005, 00:40

Some slightly discouraging news though: we are up against Audioslavia. Sure, they might not be considered the reigning champs anymore, but I'm sure they are back with a vengeance

Audioslavia manager Dave Mill looks up from his newspaper and looks to his secretary

Dave Mill: Erm... Jane?

Jane: Yes?

Dave: In 68 years of football history, have we ever been considered 'reigning champions'?

Jane: Erm... no... why? who said that?

Dave: Chris McGwee

Jane: Who?

Dave: One Red Dot head coach, he sent it in an email to Alvin Kerr.

Jane: ...and this email is in an Audioslavian newspaper?

Dave: ...erm...

Jane: Jesus Christ, in 68 years of football history i think the Audioslavian Secret Service can be called 'slightly overzealous'.

Dave: Well, it is a very big Audioslavian Secret Service. The biggest Audioslavian Secret Service ive ever seen.

Jane: This is true, i've been in the Audioslavian Secret Service myself.

Dave: Really?

Jane: Yes, i've been taken up the Audioslavian Secret Service many-a-time, by many different guys.

Dave: Youre such a slut Jane

Jane: Ah you love it. What else does it say in the paper?

Dave: It has a big article on the World Cup, a spread about the win over Bedistan with lots of pictures.

Jane: Cool. Can i see?

Dave: Certainly, here it is:

BEDISTUNNERS
Last-minute turnaround puts 'slaves in the knockouts

It was a match of immense importance for all the sides in group B. Bedistan were three points clear at the top of the group but knew that a defeat and a Lowland Clan win over Liverpool England would probably put them out. The 'Slaves and the The Stars were tied on three points and needed to better each other's score to qualify, whilst Liverpool England needed a big win and a Bedistan win in order to realise their slim hopes of a place in the second round.

For a while, it looks like things were going to go the way of the Liverpool England Terminators. With their backs against the wall the Terminators lived up to their aggressive name with some equally aggressive football, taking the lead after quarter of an hour against The Lowland Clans through Jo Cummings, the attacker almost hitting home a second five minutes later with a volley which just scraped the top of the crossbar.

Over in Corinth, Audioslavia and Bedistan had got off to a more cautious start, not wanting to slip up and affect their chances of qualifying. Bedistan had the best opportunity of the first half-hour, George Washburn scuppering a half-chance after a failed clearance by Arne Carel.

Things stayed as they were in Corinth and Victory until the fourty-fourth minute where The Lowland Clans stirred things up by managing an equaliser with their first real chance of the game, catching LE's defenders off guard and out of position as the clanner striker burst through and finished the ball past David Thompson for 1-1. The half time whistles blew in both games, and should things have stayed as they were, Audioslavia and Bedistan would progress.

After 45 Minutes

Bedistan 0-0 Audioslavia

Liverpool England 1-1 The Lowland Clans
(Cummings 16) (Player 43)

Group B Pl W D L F A Pts GD
Bedistan 2.5 2 1 0 5 2 7 +3
Audioslavia 2.5 1 1 1 4 3 4 +1
The Lowland Clans 2.5 1 1 1 4 5 4 -1
Liverpool England 2.5 0 1 2 3 6 1 -3

The second half started with a change in fortunes in Corinth. The 'slaves had been edging out Bedistan as the better team in the first half, but a horrendously scything challenge from Audioslavia captain Greigs Johnstone earned him his second yellow card of the game and his marching orders from the referee. Bedistan's free-kick proved lethal. Veteran marksman Nathan Gordon smashed the ball past the defensive wall from twenty-three yards and watched the ball curve and dip out of Andersson's reach and into the roof of the net for 1-0.

The 'slaves appointed Ally Marriot as acting captain and set about pursuing an equaliser, but with ten men things proved difficult, and Bedistan almost added a second when Xavier Parks broke through a gaping hole in the 'slaves defence and beat Andersson with a good shot, only to see his attempt bounce back off of the foot of the post.

Things were getting progressively worse for the 'slaves as news from Victory Park filtered through. The Lowland Clans had got themselves back into the game and were peppering the Liverpool England goal. They'd already hit the post once by the time the TLC number eleven was scythed down on the edge of the penalty area by Tom Moreno, earning the Stars a penalty which they duly scored.

The 'slaves were now in deep trouble.

After 65 Minutes

Bedistan 1-0 Audioslavia
(Gordon 53)

Liverpool England 1-2 The Lowland Clans
(Cummings 16) (Player 43)
(Player 62)

Group B Pl W D L F A Pts GD
Bedistan 2.7 3 0 0 6 2 9 +4
The Lowland Clans 2.7 2 0 1 5 5 6 +0
Audioslavia 2.7 1 0 2 4 4 3 +0
Liverpool England 2.7 0 0 3 3 7 0 -4

Dave Mill had to make changes in order to get back into the game. Off came Killian Rijsbergen and on came Karayan Araxie, a more attack-minded player than his counterpart.

The 'slaves slowly crawled their way back into the game, keeping posession so as not to expose the defence, which now consisted of just two players after Johnstone's dismissal.

Tragically, things were to get worse. Audioslavian playmaker and keystone Ally Marriot was upended by Wes Lipinski as he tried to kickstart a 'slavian attack. It was a hefty challenge, and the twenty-nine year old didn't look like getting up.

Television cameras showed Dave Mill in obvious distress in the dugout, conversing with his assistant Wayne Bury over who to replace Audioslavia's star player with. He decided on a striker, twenty-five year old Jorma Taavi. The 'slaves would play out the rest of the game with a go-down-fighting 2-4-3 system.

The free-kick spouted Audioslavia's best chance of the game so far. Araxie played the ball short to Crevan, who hit the ball hard and low towards the box. Taavi's first action on the field was to open his legs and let the ball pass between them, flumoxing the Bedistani defence so much that the ball ran to Jackie McLlroy. Turning on a sixpence, McLlroy diverted the ball towards goal, but Bedistan goalkeeper Reagan was on hand to kickstart his group's twelve years of hellish, torturing fundamental christian rule. Sorry... wrong Reagan, he was on hand to smother the ball and prevent the goal.

The chance had given the 'slaves confidence however, and on eighty minutes they finally scored the equaliser. A long ball into the box by Arie Jansen was missed by Bedistan defender Jill Greene, letting a poaching Oliver Dannes to steal the ball behind her and smack it goalwards, this time out of Reagan's evil corporate grasp.

Then came a torrent of pressure on the Bedistan goal as the 'slaves tried to finally prove their worth as a top-three nation. Jackie McLlroy immidiately missed a golden opportunity from a corner-kick, his diving header missing the goal from just seven yards. Taavi came close with a low shot soon after, before the 'slaves finally took the lead through a Jackie McLlroy penalty after the referee adjudged that Kyle Dean had pushed Aron Ceulemans in the area. McLlroy stepped up and struck the ball low to Reagan's left (Reagan was placed way to far to the right anyway) and the 'slaves were 2-1 up.

Back in Victory Park, news started filtering through of Audioslavia's comeback. All was not lost however, as another two goals would see The Lowland Clans through on goals-scored. Unfortunately for the TLC stars, it was Liverpool England who got the goal, Jo Cummings finishing off a slick passing move with a delightfully taken finish past the Stars goalie.

The final whistle came not a moment too soon for the 'slaves who were tiring after a tense game, with Bedistan trying to come back into it at the death. TLC's heads dropped after LE's equaliser, and the Stars ended the game tied, putting Audioslavia through to the second round with Bedistan.

Final Standings

Bedistan 1-2 Audioslavia
(Gordon 53) (Dannes 83)
(McLlroy 88)

Liverpool England 2-2 The Lowland Clans
(Cummings 16) (Player 43)
(Cummings 90) (Player 62)

Group B Pl W D L F A Pts GD
Audioslavia 3 2 0 1 6 4 6 +2
Bedistan 3 2 0 1 6 4 6 +2
The Lowland Clans 3 1 1 1 5 6 4 -1
Liverpool England 3 0 1 2 4 7 1 -3

Bedistan

08-02-2005, 01:13

An ailing BFA president Johnny Lewis lies in his hospital bed, perusing the most recent Soundgardian on Sunday imported straight from Audioslavia. As he reads a report of the Bedistan-Audioslavia World Cup match, he suddenly bursts out laughing.

"Are you all right, sir?" asks a nurse who happens to be in the room at the time.

"Heh, look at this, Helen."

Taavi's first action on the field was to open his legs and let the ball pass between them, flumoxing the Bedistani defence so much that the ball ran to Jackie McLlroy.

"'Flumoxing'? I didn't know they knew big words like that in Audioslavia."

"They don't. It's spelled with two m's."

"Oh, I guess that explains it. But then...what's all this about down here?"

Turning on a sixpence, McLlroy diverted the ball towards goal, but Bedistan goalkeeper Reagan was on hand to kickstart his group's twelve years of hellish, torturing fundamental christian rule. Sorry... wrong Reagan, he was on hand to smother the ball and prevent the goal.

"Reagan the Lontorican chancellor, maybe? I've heard some bad things about him, but nothing like that. Maybe this reporter was in a different world or something."

Still unsatisfied, Lewis laid back down on the bed.

"Well, at least we got to the second round again. But damn it if we don't have to play bloody Starblaydia."

"Finished second in the group, did we?"

"Yeah. On head-to-head results. What kinda crap is that? Same record, same goal difference, even same goals scored. Why couldn't we have just drawn that match? I'd much rather face One Red Dot than the frickin' hosts."

"You think we'll lose to Starblaydia?"

"I personally don't, but I know most people do. That one Melmondian publication that does the predictions every year predicted us to lose to Starblaydia in the second round."

"The Ketchup Times, you mean?"

"No. It's weird, everyone thinks that, but it's not them. I don't know where the thing's published, just that it gets to Bedistan somehow. But the Bedistan Sports Digest also did a prediction thingy..."

"And?" pressed Helen. "What did it say?"

"Oh, right. It also said we'd face Starblaydia in the second round. And it said we'd lose. And Chris Gwee's e-mail over in One Red Dot implied it."

"And just how, may I ask, did you read Chris Gwee's e-mail?"

"Well, uh..." He thought for a moment. "I think he accidentally hit the "Everyone" entry in his address book without realizing it. He thought it was just going to Alvin Ker, but I definitely got a copy."

"Have you been hacking the ORD e-mail servers again?"

"Of course not! I've been lying in this damned hospital bed, how could I?"

"How could you check your e-mail from this hospital bed?"

To that Lewis had no answer. "That's not important. What is important is that we finally get past the second round. We haven't done it since World Cup Sixteen, and I for one am getting very sick of going out in the second round. Hosts or no hosts, we must defeat Starblaydia! And that's final!"

"Well, I wish you luck."

"Luck's not gonna do it; hard work will. Get me Mike Davidson on the phone."

"You got it."

Commerce Heights

08-02-2005, 05:31

Aeropag Tribune Sports Network

Previously on Magical Camera of RP:

Redner: So, does it work yet?
Bought (cryptically): The…uh…inertial dampeners aren’t compensating for the subharmonic distortions in the unstable…erm…generation reactor.
Redner: Since you planned for every contingency, do you have any coffee?
Redner collapses and falls asleep.
Machine (several million times): blah
Bought: I don’t know how to add content. I’ll have to get back to you on that.
Bought: I told you to make sure you had all the equipment! Now we’re doomed!

And now, the conclusion.

blank screen

Aeropag Tribune Broadcasting Headquarters, Aeropag, WTI

Meyer: Hey, Rick, we’ve got a problem with Magical Camera of RP…the flashbacks are fine, but the new show isn’t on at all!
Anderson: We had to take the Magical Camera of RP to cover the lawsuit. If anything, we should be seeing the courtroom.
Meyer: Lawsuit? What lawsuit?
Anderson: PariMedia v. Aeropag Tribune. I thought everyone had heard about it?
Meyer: You know I don’t keep in touch with those slani Legalese freaks!
Anderson: So, anyway, PariMedia is claiming that our monopoly on the Capitalizt communications market is interfering with their right to the “pursuit of profit,” and some slani judge is hearing them out! Even though our legal team assures us that there is no precedent for this kind of—
Meyer: Look, I’m running a show, and there’s nothing on the feed! If we don’t get the feed running by the Capitalizt scenes, your legal team might have a lot more on its hands than that slani throwback to Manhattanite multinational conglomerates!
Anderson: I’ll get someone in the capital out to the courthouse to take a look at the camera. But we’ve got a lot of other things to do if we’re not going to hand the market to Bedistanis!

10 minutes later

Schmidt: The judge made our men turn off the Magical Camera of RP. Something about “magic can’t interfere with justice”…
Meyer: Hejida, alte’tan’he! Write any propaganda lately?
Schmidt: How long until the Capitalizt scenes are over?
Meyer: You overestimate our advertising. The scenes were over more than 5 minutes ago.
Schmidt: Slani!
Meyer: Can we get the show through anything other than the magic feed?
Schmidt: No, magic cameras aren’t designed for magic-free operation.
Meyer: Do we have a backup Magic-Free Camera of RP?
Schmidt: You think we plan for stuff like this? If we did that for everything, we’d be bankrupt!
Meyer: But we don’t have to plan for everything, only the things that will happen!
Schmidt: You some sort of oracle?
Meyer: No, but we do have a Magical Camera…
Schmidt: Not ATM, we don’t…
Meyer: What does the teller machine have to do with magical cameras?
Schmidt: Forget it. Show a rerun if you have to, but get some programming on that slani screen!
Meyer: But we can’t rerun the episode if we just showed what happens in it!
Schmidt: So show another episode, j00 slani Aquillan!
Meyer: We don’t have other episodes. You should really go see a doctor about your Aquillaspeak problem.
Schmidt: I do NOT have an Aquillaspeak problem!

Meyer walks down the hall to his office. Before he turns out of sight, he shouts, “denial!”

Aeropag Tribune Sports Network

And now, with this exclusive offer, you can try C4H₂O for only §0.25 a bottle! Just add one of 24 irresistible flavor packets to our unique dihydrogen monoxide solution!
Flavor packets sold separately. C4, C4H₂O, and related names and images are trademarks of Capitalizt Consolidated Conglomeration Corporation and are protected by law in Commerce Heights and/or other countries and by propaganda pamphlets in Eauz and/or other countries. All rights reserved, possibly including yours, if permitted by local laws.

blank screen

Aeropag Tribune Broadcasting Headquarters, Aeropag, WTI

Meyer: Hey, Rick! I’ve got a plan!
Anderson: Who do you think you are, Kerry?
Meyer: Who’s that?
Anderson: Never mind, I’ve been watching the RL Channel too much. Anyway, what’s this cunning plan of yours?
Meyer: Do you take me for a Belmoron?
Anderson: Get to the slani point!
Meyer: So, once we run out of Capitalizt scenes, why don’t we scrap the Magical Camera of RP and get a Magic-Free Camera of Apology?

Will Meyer’s plan be accepted by Tribune executives, or will the company succumb to petty lawsuits and take the Magical Camera of RP off the air forever? We’ll find out on episode 3 of—

*click*

Welling: Hey, now we’ll never know if that was Magical Camera of RP itself or some other show!
Thompson: No, it was actually Magical Camera of Magical Cameras of RP.
Welling: What’s that floating lens over there?
Thompson: I suppose it’s possible that we’re on Magical Camera of Magical Cameras of Magical Cameras of RP, but there must be a more reasonable explanation for this!

Melmond

08-02-2005, 05:34

¡Que Aburrido!
However, Dull Scoreless Tie Is Enough for Melmond to Advance
By Henry Kalangalangalang of the Melmond City Herald

BISARLEY, STARBLAYDIA—Last year, we at the Melmond City Herald started a tradition. This tradition was in conjunction with Eauz comparing the NationStates football teams with the teams from nations from Earth. Last World Cup, the Melmond National Team was compared to Sweden, so therefore we did a tribute to the best and worst in Swedish music in the article about the Melmond-Kaze Progressa match in which the Fearless Farmers found themselves a victor. This time around, the Eauz paper compared the Melmond National Team to the team from Mexico. This report of the Sarzonia-Melmond match was supposed to be a tribute to Mexican food since that is the favorite cuisine of the Melmondian goddess. However, the match ended up to be very bland. Not bland good like a table water cracker, but bland like a curry with too much water being used in it. That ought to awaken the palettes of our Melmondian English audience. Anyway, a match with no goals and no cards, no specific stats to focus itself on wasn’t worthy to be compared to such wonderful foods from Mexico such as the aromatic sizzling fajita, the distinctive spicy and yet chocolaty mole sauce, and chips and hot red salsa in which the Melmondian goddess likes to inhale.
Anyway, let us try our best to make this match seem exciting. The Fearless Farmers once again played at Obsidian Palace in Bisarley, and that stormfront has moved to the east and it was a beautiful night for football. It was already known that Dance 2 Revolution has defeated Kaze Progressa 2-nil, which means that Dance 2 Revolution has won the group and Kaze Progressa was out. Second place was up for grabs, with Melmond getting the last knockout round spot with a win or tie or Sarzonia finally getting over the group play hump by going to the knockout rounds with a win of their own.
And since the scoreless tie which resulted from a game so dull it bordered on chartered accountancy, and the fact that Total n Utter Insanity is the next opponent, a nation against the novelist writing styles of most Melmondian papers, we are going to explain the most mundane things of this game in uber-Melmondian fashion.
First, we must talk about some of the ceremonies before the game. Obsidian Palace sold out on a beautiful cloudless night. The sold out crowd sporadically flashed pictures among other things during the opening ceremony. The Melmondian National Anthem was sung by Melmondian theatre star Stillint Hecloset, older brother of Melmond National Team defender Notint Hecloset. His rendition of the national anthem was perfect, right up to the final high note at the end. Sarzonian reality TV star Ashlee Sarzonson sang the national anthem of Sarzonia, if you would call her rendition singing. A generous person would compare it to Grace Slick’s drunken moment with Jefferson Airplane. But if you were truly mean and tactless, you would describe it as it really was. It sounded like a cat repeatedly getting its tail stepped on, and each time the cat got its tail stepped on, she would scream in pain in a different pitch. A swarm of boos and shrill whistles followed from not only Starblaydians and Melmondians for having to be subjected to such horrible noise, but by Sarzonians for Sarzonson has ruined their great national anthem.
The kickoff involved some of the flashing of pictures and other things that the ceremony had. Taking the kickoff was Melmond striker Gene MacDougall. He tapped the ball to the side at specifically a 3 degree angle. The ball continued to roll through the grass for about 10 milliseconds. Finally, the other Melmond striker, Tim Remans, trapped the ball on the side of his foot, and play began! Honestly, I have never seen the opening kickoff done so beautifully and professionally. Its beauty made me want to cry, or perhaps it’s me thinking about a nice spicy chile relleno.
Another extremely mundane thing that popped in my mind was this throw in done by the Fearless Farmers after a pass deflected by a Sarzonian defender. Melmond midfielder Pauline Hulme would have the job of throwing the ball back in play. She apparently found fellow midfielder Martin Goodwin Jr. wide open. She took seven steps back and then seven steps forward to gain momentum for her throw. The throw was right on target, but unfortunately hit the calf of Sarzonia midfielder Bobby Convey and the ball was quickly cleared by the Stars.
Perhaps we should stop embellish the dullness of the match. For those suffering from insomnia, please read on. However, if you do not have any problems sleeping and need to stay awake, please skip this and proceed to the standings portion of this report. Melmond was preparing for a corner kick. Melmond midfielder Martin Goodwin Jr., who certainly did have a resemblance to his football playing father, was to take the corner. Unfortunately, he hit the ball too much to the top, and the ball was a 40 degree line drive which hit nearby Sarzonia defender Emacio in the head, and Sarzonia clears away another Melmond scoring chance. All throughout the game, various limbs and other parts of the body kept the ball from coming into the net. This usually means that no goals were scored.
I do realize that this report is more comical than a journalistic endeavor. However, in order to irk the Insancians, we found it well worth it. I suppose you can say this kind of report is to what serious Melmondian sports journalism as Taco Bell is to real Mexican food. Cinnamon Crispitos anyone?

Goals
None

Cards
None

Standings

Other Group D Result
Kaze Progressa 0 – Dance 2 Revolution 2

Group D
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Dance 2 Revolution 7 2 1 0 5:1 4
2. Melmond 4 1 1 1 3:3 0
3. Kaze Progressa 3 1 0 2 2:4 -2
4. Sarzonia 2 0 2 1 0:2 -2

Team Stats
Goals: Gene MacDougall (1), Peeko Noodleschlausen (1), Tim Remans (1)
Cards: Martin Goodwin Jr. (1)

Melmond World Cup Schedule (all in Starblaydia)

v Kaze Progressa (Iota “Big Eye” Stadium, Penning worth) W 2-0
v Dance 2 Revolution (Obsidian Palace, Bisarley) L 3-1
v Sarzonia (Obsidian Palace, Bisarley) T 0-0
v Total n Utter Insanity (Bekkside Stadium, Tabeck)

Next Game
vs. Total n Utter Insanity (Bekkside Stadium, Tabeck)

Well, we know the drill right now, win and the Melmond National Team advances to play Squornshelous for the first time ever or Dance 2 Revolution for the second time in history and this World Cup. However, the first ever meeting between Melmond and Total n Utter Insanity is the first one at the minds of the Fearless Farmers and their faithful. Total n Utter Insanity has had some of its players play in Melmond, and may I say play very well in Melmond. Their goalkeeper Angus Sakablakabala of O’Connor Greens is considered by many the best goalkeeper in the Melmond Premier League. Also &#@$ Berress, the Insancian defender who plays for Faasen Oranges, has also played well in Melmond. Despite the literary differences between these sides, both teams are ready to start this friendly rivalry on a not so friendly stage. Manager David Bixler will keep his original starting lineup for this match.

GK- Alex McCarthy
D- Notint Hecloset
D- Veronica Dean
D- Charles Unne
D- Laola Saenu
M- Peeko Noodleschlausen
M- Martin Goodwin Jr.
M- Pauline Hulme
M- Jake Cormier
F- Gene MacDougall
F- Tim Remans

For tickets to Starblaydia and the match, call the Therewegoes Travel Agency at 3-18-357-9009. There are few tickets reserved so call very soon!!! Although the people of Starblaydia seem like very nice people, looking at their government description, you are likely to be Starblaydian purple if you don’t know the strict rules there. A manual of the laws in Starblaydia which differ from the laissez-faire Melmond will be given to all travelers to the match.

Eauz

08-02-2005, 06:23

(Setting: Press Conference 1 hour before kick off)

Coach Joseuf is taking questions from the press in Druida.

Q: Hey Coach, how does it feel to be back on the field once again in a world cup?

A: It is feeling pretty good, I'm glad I had the chance to manage this team. I love the atmosphere, and it's too bad I couldn't play forever... (laughs)

Q: So tomorrow, you will be playing against El Cid the Hero, what do you think your chances are?

A: Right, tomorrow is definetly going to be a major test for this team. The past few cups, we've ended up falling out around this time. I'm hoping to get the team further down the road. As for El Cid, what can I tell you? They are having a pretty good run, and they would have had a perfect group round, if they didn't lose to Iansisle. Iansisle, El Cid and Eauz are in around the same skill and ability, so I think we have a good chance of beating El Cid, but we can't have high hopes. We will play smart tomorrow.

Q: What happend to the Eauz offence and defence? During the qualifying round, it was amazing, and now it's no where to be found.

A: I don't know what to say about that. I haven't changed any sort of practice or training really, and the guys (& woman) all know how to play together. We did though get a very tough group draw, and were faced up against some very strong offences. I believe though that our offence and defence will be there tomorrow.

Q: Are you frightened about the numbers 1 - 1?

A: (laughs)... yes, yes I am. Boy, that was quite the "bitter-sweet" kind of thing going on during group draw. I'm hoping though that I won't have to see those 1 - 1's during this cup, but who knows...?

Q: Starblaydi reporters have been bothered by the labelling Second round as "Round of 16" from Eauz reporters, what do you think about this...?

A: Ahhhh, what can I say? Everyone has their own way of labelling things. It's kind of stupid, because it would be like saying tha the English say things incorrectly, when it is their own language. Enough said about that...

Q: Hi Coach Joseuf, I am a reporter from Commerce Heights, I was wondering, when might Eauz think about turning into a capitalizt nation?

A: What The Slani Hell? This has nothing to do with politics and communism. I think you are in the wrong room...

Q: What do you think of the Second round, or Round of 16?

A: Well, it looks like it usually is. I am really surprised to see El Cid and Spaam here though. I think it will be a very tough world cup, but that means that it will be VERY good for you the fans and reporters.

Q: It seems that since both Bedistan and Eauz hosted the cup, they have been in major decline, do you see any bright future for these teams?

A: I'd like to say YES. I truly believe in my team, and think we can definetly win when it counts. Bedistan is also a team I really like. They have proven to be a good team, but have just fell on tough luck, just like us, or as most like to say "Margaret". Anyways, I'm gonna get going now, thanks for the questions folks, and I hope you all enjoy the cup. Come out and support Eauz tomorrow, we will need the support!

Cockbill Street

08-02-2005, 08:56

Ankh-Morpork C-mail

Lovisa Does It Again
Odd Goal Denies Street

Rewind to...1742. The Street plays in the Kionao Park, Turori, in front of excited Streetians who wants the win. Mark Bitton, incredibly, headed in the tying goal after a corner kick, but a 2-2 draw meant that the Street would have to win by five goals to proceed.

Lovisa 2 (<censored due to general health of population> 21, 49)
Cockbill Street 2 (Peters 19, Bitton 76)

Or to...Grune 1721. Cockbill Street, The Belmore Family and Lovisa all need to win to qualify for the World Cup finals round. Cockbill Street are playing Rukbat al-Rami and trying to score as many goals as possible, Lovisa are playing Shang-ti. The Streetians led 3-1, had two goals disallowed, and only needed Lovisa to only win by 1-0 against Shang-ti. Then:

90th+1 minute: Georg Lunz, the Zucchini professional, has just settled it, it appears. Two-nil. Lovisa are through. Chants of "GODMOD!" are heard in the crowd. Probably will occur to the readers as well, when reading this. Never mind. We're going to the Cup of Harmony, where in the sodding world that might be.

Despite a glimmer of hope being given by The Eagles' Nest and Eauz when the tables were posted, that was quickly smothered by the Progressan WCC president. It was time to take revenge. Not.

Because the match was terrible. It was a summation of everything Streetian fans have argued against for 40 years of football. They issued invitations to the entire Lovisan team - attack, we're here, please roll us over with a steamroller. Six defenders, they played, and Lovisa took on the invitation with great pleasure. With Kingsforder referee Henry Tuck (no, we don't know how he became ref, either) giving Lovisa a penalty in the eighty-fourth minute, all hope was lost, and Georg Lunz (who seemingly has eaten of the Giant Zucchini no-aging potion), settled the game with a beautiful chip. 1-0, both teams out, and congratulations to Turori and Rejistania.

Vilita

08-02-2005, 09:34

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Rivals prepare for Penalty Shootout
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-------------------The nations of Vilita and Iansisle will clash for the first time ever in the World Cup 20 Finals Second Round in Druida, Atlantian Oceania. However, the two teams have already built a mini-rivalry after heated relations stemming from a despute between the national hockey assosications of the two nations. The Vilitans will feel a slight edge in the match which will take place on Atlantian Oceania soil. Vilitan Head Coach Helmut Vilkaus has announced that he plans to field a lineup filled with experience set piece takers, either on the field or two be introuduced before the end of the match from the bench, due to indications that the match will require a penalty shootout. It is highly expected that the match will reach the penalty shootout stage, as a fitting conclusion to the mini-rivalry that has stemmed from the issue of such game-deciding methods in the internationstatal hockey championships.

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Vilita Goalscorers::
40' Jürgen Ramzi
78' Callum Banda
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-------------------The Jungle Cats sealed their place in the second round after a convincing 2-0 win over the Eagles Nest. Jürgen Ramzi, who will likely be participating in his final World Cup after a legendary career at Defensive Midfielder for the Tropical Island nation, opened the scoring before half time from a brilliant effort 25 yards out. Vilitan All-Time top scorer Callum Banda added to his all-time goal count with the clincher in the 78th minute. Andrea Lamberti, for a change was one of the best players on the pitch. Possibly he has matured into a player who will benefit the Vilitan Squad.

Full Time Analysis:

Vilita

Best Player: Andrea Lamberti
Worst Player: Jimmy Kater
Shots on Target: 3
Corner Kicks: 6

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Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Jimmy Kater, [D] Jaloey Afrikka, [D] Andrea Lamberti, [D] Ricky Ezis, [DMC] Jürgen Ramzi, [ML] Santo Kecker, [MC] Inaki Soler, [MC] Tanner Nerni, [MR] Antonis Siazzu, [FC] Callum Banda, [FC] Riccardo Appolloni,
BENCH::
[FC] Serge DuPont, [FC] Carmine Mbidzo, [M] Maurizio Sala, [M] Jacques Vintila, [U] Musa Nikiema, [D] Sibusiso Azaïez, [GK] Bryan 'Pop' Duiker,

One Red Dot

08-02-2005, 10:44

* Now talking in #aSWORD.
* Topic is 'Welcome to the official Association of the Sports World for ORD
mIRC Channel | ORD makes it to the second round in the World Cup | Daniel
Kleston against South Ossetian Gradi Jarenko for Ts'kinvali Open Finals'
* Set by AdminGates on Tue Feb 08 06:14:26
* ChanServ sets mode: +o cgwee
<cgwee>: hey alvin
<a_ker>: hi chris, what's up?
<cgwee>: remember that email i sent you last night?
<a_ker>: yes, what about it?
<cgwee>: somehow, i don't know how, audioslavia and bedistan caught wind of
it...
<a_ker>: how?
<cgwee>: i told you! i dont know!
<a_ker>: well, it doesnt matter, its not as if they can get any info..
<cgwee>: yeah, i know that, but they did some nitpicking on the what i wrote
<a_ker>: like?
<cgwee>: well an audioslavian commented that they were not reigning champions
<a_ker>: yes, that is true
<cgwee>: well, i did not mean that they were, just because they had a rank of
#1...
<a_ker>: well, let them say what they want, anything else audioslavian?
<cgwee>: lol.. they got my name wrong.. "chris mcgwee"...
<a_ker>: that is just not right... lol
<a_ker>: is there anyything else?
<cgwee>: ermm.. no, not for now..
<a_ker>: then any bedistani complaints?
<cgwee>: well... i think they might be a bit offended..
<a_ker>: why? because you said that they'd lose?
<cgwee>: yeah, well... i mean.. it was.. i mean like..
<a_ker>: both of us know that it's just an assumption, let them say what they
want.. who knows, maybe this comment may make them work harder to defeat
Starblaydia so as to shut our mouths, well actually, yours
<cgwee>: haha, we can never know... the random gods are to unpredictable
sometimes
* a_ker gives a chuckle.
<a_ker>: but that aside, we have to be check our email servers, or the entire
network.. we can't let these emails fall into enemy hands.. what if you had
been discussing strategy!?
<cgwee>: so youre going to contact admin
<a_ker>: of course!
<cgwee>: well, you go then, i've got a match to get my boys ready for
<a_ker>: right. and make sure you win. we could defeat audioslavia once, we
can always do it again!
<cgwee>: damn straight
* cgwee has quit IRC (Quit: time to go kick their ‘slavian behinds)

Audioslavia

08-02-2005, 18:41

Marriot Out For 6 Months
'Slaves Heavily Weakened For One Red Game

Four of Audioslavia's first team will be forced to sit out of Audioslavia's crucial second-round match with the Wolves of One Red Dot.

The most notable absense is Alexander Marriot, who picked up an injury in the match against Bedistan.

Doctor's reports revealed that the extent of the injury was worse than we all feared. Marriot has torn a hamstring as well as damaged various crucial ligaments, and won't be match fit until early next year.

It is a crucial blow to Audioslavia who have lost their midfield playmaker, who critics say is Audioslavia's best player in years.

Joining Marriot on the injury list is goalkeeper Peter Andersson who broke his little finger in training on monday, and striker Oliver Dannes who has a viral infection. Petr Rijsbergen, who played in over half of Audioslavia's qualifying matches, is also thought to be affected by the virus.

The final member of the squad to miss the ORD game is Greigs Johnstone who is suspended thanks to his sending off against Bedistan.

As a result of these absenses, the Audioslavian eleven who will line up against the Wolves will most likely be:

-----------------------------
| 12 |
| Walsh |
| |
| 6 |
| 2 Ceulemans 3 |
| Avari Carel |
| 4 |
| 19 Crevan 11 |
|Rijsbergen Jansen |
| 14 8 |
| Araxie Oskari |
| |
| 18 9 |
| Taavi McLlroy |
-----------------------------

Luckily for the 'slaves, the talent pool in the current squad is good enough to keep much of the same shape and strength as the side which beat Liverpool England and Bedistan. Jorma Taavi has been edging Oliver Dannes out of the side consistently in recent times, Karayan Araxie only recently lost his first-team place to Killian Rijsbergen, whilst Ashen Avari was one of the first players on the Audioslavian team-sheet until they changed formation. Goalkeeper James Walsh is the only player to be untried and untested at international level.

Audioslavia - One Red Dot will be broadcast live on Channel One on Wednesday 5th June

G'nite bitches

Svecia

08-02-2005, 18:45

No matter how many times the people of vilita see "Vilamna Dagens Nyheter", we never know what it means :(

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

POLL: MAJORITY OF NS WORLD CUP FANS KNOW NOTHING ABOUT SVECIA
Title of newspaper comes under toughest scrutiny

Svecians are known throughout the voetballing world to be one of the most consistent qualifying and least consistent finals sides in the World Cup. But a recent poll shows that 3 out of every 4 people in 10 nations polled know almost nothing about the country itself. Most disturbing was the statement by Vilitans that they thought the name of the best know newspaper in Svecia, the Vilämna Dagens Nyheter, was actually the titles of the articles themselves.

So for all those who were polled as well as those who just want to learn more about one of the more legendary voetbaling nations in the world, here is a short primer.

*******

Name: Svecia
Prounounciation: [své-sie-uh]
Team colors: originally yellow and blue, now orange
World Cup abbreviation: SVE
Name for people from Svecia: Svecians
Adjective for things from Svecia: Svecikan
Official name of sport in country: Voetbal (also called Fussball and Fotball by German and Swedish speaking peoples)
Name of national team organization: Svecikan Voetbal Bond - SVB (Svecikan football confederation)
Date of creation of SVB: World Cup 2
# of World Cups not participated in (including qualifiers): 1 (the first one)
# of World Cup finals not participated in: 3 out of 19 participated in
Honors: 3rd place twice (WC5, WC7)
Biggest wins: Svecia 6, Talzeckia 0 (WC20, Qual)
Svecia 6, Sardonia 0 (WC18, Qual)
Biggest loss: Snub Nose 5, Svecia 1 (WC16, Qual)
Biggest finals win: Svecia 4, Oglethorpia 0 (WC13, Group)
Biggest finals loss: Rejistania 4, Svecia 0 (WC18, Second round)
Highest world rank: 2 (after WC7)
Lowest world rank: 47 (after WC11)
Highest ranked team beaten: #3 Rejistania (2-1 WC17 Group, Rejistania eventually won the tournament)
Lowest ranked team lost to: incomplete records, but probably #80 Hapard (0-1, WC19 Qual)
Overall record since WC 13: 95W-29L-17D[/bold]
World Cup finals record since WC 13: 11W-12L-2D
Most famous players: Matt de Fijts, goalkeeper - WC 4-9
Fransico Carati, forward - WC 10-13
Anders Glock, defender - WC 15-17
Hanan Belagt, forward - WC 13-19
Mikael Solskjaer, forward - WC 13-19
Favorite Rivals: Melmond, Halfassedstates, Oaker, Snub Nose
Favorite Svecikan League Club teams: Kystig FC, Lanaken FC,
Favorite Cheer: Donder! Blitzen!
Favorite gameday food: Smörgasbåd, Krisprolls and Gouda, Bier, Bratwurst
Favorite National Anthems: Svecia, Rejistania, Bedistan
Nicest World Cup host country: Lemmitania
Favorite method of public transportation to the Rijksstadion in Vilämna: Blue line metro train, 17Bus route, bicycle
Most popular jerseys to buy: Solskjaer, Belagt, de Fijts, van Meer
Best premier team stadium: Björnberg-Stadion, home of Lanaken FC in Lanaken, Svecia

Audioslavia

08-02-2005, 18:55

Dave Mill turns to his secretary again

Dave: Jane!

Jane: Yes?

Dave: Name the side who plays in Yellow and Blue and has a newspaper called 'VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER'

Jane: Umm.. oh i know this... umm, 'sve... kee... ya'

Dave: NO! HA HA! They don't play in yellow anymore! They play in orange!

Jane: Aww, i liked the old strip, the yellow one with the lightening stripe

Dave: Aye, but apparently theyre all orange now.

Jane: Tsh, they'll never win the cup with an orange shirt!

Dave: You mean like Europa Brittania, Lemmitania and Rejistania have never won it?

Jane:.... shut up. Svecia wont win it anyway

Dave: aaaand its not pronounced 'Sve-kee-ya', its got a soft 'c' sound. 'Sve-see-uh'

Jane: oh... how long have we been calling it 'Sve-kee-ya'

Dave: About two-hundred years. Apparently its wrong.

Jane: Bugger.

Dave: And guess what.

Jane: What?

Dave: This is the killer one...

Jane: What?.. tell me

Dave: They've qualified for the same amount of world cups as we have

Jane: WHAT?!? i thought we had the record?!

Dave: Nope, we have the record for most qualified for in a row, but Svecia have qualified for 16, the same as us.

Jane: Damn them!

Dave and Jane both shake their fists at a newspaper cut-out of the Vilamna Dagens Nyheter* for two hours

accents not included

Total n Utter Insanity

08-02-2005, 20:41

Insanician 1: Hey look Sven-vic-ah have made a factbook thing.

Insanician 2: You're saying it wrong.

Insanician 1: I am? I thought the country was named after Sven Goran Eriksson.

Insanician 2: Who?

Insanician 1: Some manager, meant to be the next Alan Belmore.

Insanician 2: Oh...Well, no it isn't. There isn't even an n in it.

Insanician 1: It's silent.

Insanician 2: ...

Insanician 1: I think we should steal...do something like that.

Name: Total n Utter Insanity
Prounounciation: Total and Utter Insanity
Team colors: red and white home kit, yellow and black away kit
World Cup abbreviation: TnUI
Name for people from Total and Utter Insanity: Insanicians
Adjective for things from Total and Utter Insanity: Insane
Official name of sport in country: Football
Name of national team organization: Insanician Football Association
Date of creation of IFA: World Cup 1
# of World Cups not participated in (including qualifiers): 1 (the first one)
# of World Cup finals not participated in: 1 out of 19 participated in
Honors: 3rd place once (WC14) 4th place once (WC19) FIT Winner [CoH1] Founders Cup Wooden Spoon U21WC8 Winners
Biggest wins: Total n Utter Insanity 5 Dyelli Beybi 0 WC2 - GROUP H
Total n Utter Insanity 5 West Pacific 0 WC16 - GROUP 10
Total n Utter Insanity 7 LordSquall 2 WC6 - GROUP 1
Biggest loss: Total n Utter Insanity 0 Wella 4 WC19 - GROUP 4
Total n Utter Insanity 1 Lanky Dude 5 WC10 - GROUP 3
Favorite Rivals: Audioslavia, Oglethorpia, Europa Brittania
[b]Nicest World Cup host country: Total n Utter Insanity

EL CID THE HERO

08-02-2005, 22:24

the following actions happened between the hours of 8pm and 9pm.

Doomhammer is at his desk shorting out some of his tacktics for the Eauz match. S. Sam enters the room.

SS: sir. I have important news.

DH: ok then. what is.

SS: well after you called all the lions fans "stupid morons" the popularity of the team has slumped.

DH: dose it really matter?

SS: yes. if the teams popularity goes down tickets sails go down. and if tickets sails go down then profits go down. And if profits go down
I GET SACKED

DH:... o k. so how do we get the fans onto our side?

SS: the best way is too have a mass add campaign. Promoting the team’s compassionate side. charity football games, Christmas signals, that short of thing.

DH: ...couldn't we just map out the team’s history in a factbook of some sorts. Their all the range these days.

SS: .....ok. That would work. We will do that

Name: EL CID THE HERO
Prounounciation: el cid the hero
Team colors: red shirts and yellow tops
World Cup abbreviation: ECTH
Name of people from EL CID THE HERO: Cidians
Official name of sport in country: Football
Name of national team organisation: El Cid Football Accusation
Date of creation of ECFA: World Cup 13
# of World Cups not participated in (including qualifiers): 12
# of World Cup finals not participated in: 1 till 16
Honors: none
Biggest win:El Cid the Hero 5 Wapahkoneta 1 (WC17 MD7)
Biggest lose: Rejistania 5 El Cid The Hero 0 (WC17 WCMD1)
Favorite Rival: Melmond (it's 4-3 to them at the moment)

Eauz

09-02-2005, 03:19

*Switched to the Weather Network on the TV*

Well looking around Eauz, it seems it will be pretty cloudy in the North western section of Eauz, but due to the cloud cover, it will be very humid and warm. As for the centre of Eauz, there will be a mix of sun and cloud, with temperatures getting up around the 30 degree mark. The Southern section of Eauz will turn out to be a very nice day, with a cool breeze and sun everywhere.

After the break, we will get a report on the weather over in Druida, where Les Bleus are playing in the World Cup...

*Slani Commerce Heights publicity*
*Slani, Visit Melmond publicity*
*Publicity for Rejis Special Blend*

Welcome back, and as for the World Cup, it appears all the teams will be taking a break, due to intence rains and winds. There are covered stadiums, but the organizers believed it would be better to leave the people inside, instead of risking getting to the stadium. It appears though that this distubance will only last for today, and clouds will be in the air for the region.

*Turns off TV*

-Slani Weather Network always giving the wrong forcasts!
*Looks out window*
-Raining and it's like 5 degrees outside! No Slani World cup too, What the Hell will I do now?
*Goes off to read Das Kapital*

Bedistan

09-02-2005, 03:52

In today's international edition of the Bedistan Sports Digest, nestled in between the news of Johnny Lewis' arrest for hacking into the aSWORD e-mail server and the fans waiting for the Green-Blues' second round match against Starblaydia to begin, we find the following. Hey, we never said the editors of the publication were original.

The Bedistan National Football Team
A short guide

Name: Bedistan
Prounounciation:
[b]Team colors: originally blue, maroon, and silver; later blue and silver; later blue, green, and silver; now just blue and green
Team nickname: Lions (WC5-WC19); Green-Blues (WC20)
World Cup abbreviation: BED
Name for people from Bedistan: Bedistanis
Adjective for things from Bedistan: Bedistani
Official name of sport in country: football, fútbol, qoqerál - we have four official languages, so it depends
Name of national team organization: Bedistan Football Association (BFA)
Date of creation of BFA: February 17, 2004 Bedistani time (approximately one year before WC5 qualifying)
# of World Cups not participated in (including qualifiers): 4 (the first four)
# of World Cup finals not participated in: 1 out of 16 participated in (damn TnUI and his group draws)
Honors: 3rd place (WC13); 2nd place (WC8, WC16)
Biggest wins: Bedistan 7, ASSKICKEN 0 (WC16 qualifying MD1)
Bedistan 7, Vorpal Bunnies 0 (WC17 qualifying MD11)
Biggest losses: Bedistan 1, The Eagle's Nest 4 (WC18 second round)
Bedistan 0, Runaway Moose 3 (WC6 qualifying MD3)
Bedistan 0, Oglethorpia 3 (WC5 first round MD2)
Bedistan 0, Eauz 3 (WC13 semifinal)
Biggest finals win: Bedistan 4, The Belmore Family 0 (WC9 quarterfinal)
Biggest finals losses: Bedistan 1, The Eagle's Nest 4 (WC18 second round)
Bedistan 0, Oglethorpia 3 (WC5 first round MD2)
Bedistan 0, Eauz 3 (WC13 semifinal)
Highest world rank: 2 (after WC15 and again after WC17)
Lowest world rank: 27 (after WC5)
Highest ranked team beaten: no records kept
Lowest ranked team lost to: no records kept
Overall record: 165W-54D-65L
World Cup finals record: we're too lazy to figure that out
Favorite Rivals: Commerce Heights, Liverpool England, Audioslavia
Favorite Bedistan Premier League Club teams: Yuba United, Jamaica Giants
Best premier team stadium: Fillmore National Stadium, home to Sonoma City Volcanoes

Raptor Claw

09-02-2005, 05:55

Please to join The Jurassic Invitational Tournament

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=396115

you may be invited if you are Dance 2 Revolution
Audioslavia
Crystilakere
Total n Utter Insanity
Vilita
Rejistania
Turori
Squornshelous
Starblaydia
Bedistan
Eauz
Iansisle
Melmond
The Eagles Nest

other you can still join 5 team

Thank You.

Liverpool England

09-02-2005, 06:20

OOC: I'll edit in my FALE factbook soon, but for now, this is not the place for thread plugs, you need the Discussion Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=293066&goto=lastpost).

IC:

Name: Liverpool England
Prounounciation: [Live-uh-pull-In-ger-land]
Team colors: Red, Blue
World Cup abbreviation: LE/LEN
Name for people from Liverpool England: Liverpool Englander
Adjective for things from Liverpool England: Liverpool Englandic/Liverpuldian English
Official name of sport in country: Football
Name of national team organization: Football Association of Liverpool England
Date of creation of FALE: World Cup 14, previously IFCLE, started WC6
# of World Cups not participated in (including qualifiers): 5, the first five
# of World Cup finals not participated in: three
Honours: World Cup 8 Winners, World Cup 9 Third Place
Highest world rank: 1
Lowest world rank: 150 in WC6
Highest ranked team beaten: no obvious records, somerecords hint to Squornshelous (12) in World Cup 8, others say Errinundera (1) fell to Liverpool England in the same cup. Neither can be confirmed due to laziness.
Most famous players: Paul Dussis (WC7-13), Caddy Cannon (WC7-14)
Favorite Rivals: Bedistan, Total n Utter Insanity, Audioslavia, Vilita
Favorite Cheer: Liverpool England national anthem
Favorite gameday food: hand-made sandwiches

Audioslavia

09-02-2005, 11:29

Jane: What are your policies on bandwagon-jumping, Dave?

Dave: Quiet will you, i'm writing something down

Jane: What are you writing?

Dave: This...

Name: Audioslavia
Prounounciation: [Or-Dee-Oh-Slarv-Ya]
Team colors: Claret and Green
World Cup abbreviation: AUD (or AS)
Name for people from Audioslavia: Audioslavians, 'slavians
Adjective for things from Audioslavia: Audioslavian
Official name of sport in country: Football
Name of national team organization: Audioslavian Football Association
Date of creation of AFA: World Cup 3
# of World Cups not participated in (including qualifiers): 1, 2 and 3
# of World Cup finals not participated in: 1 out of 17 participated in
Honors: Twice runners up (WC12, WC19), Eagles Cup IV runners up, U21WC1 champions
Biggest wins: Audioslavia 6-0 Iuthia (WC6 Qual)
Audioslavia 6-0 Adrasuvare (WC6 Qual)
Biggest loss: Squorn-fucking-shelous, 4-0
Biggest finals win: Audioslavia 3-0 Ianshite
Biggest finals loss: Oglethorpia 3-0 Audioslavia, Brazillico 3-0 Audioslavia
Highest world rank: 1 (after WC19)
Lowest world rank: 40 (after WC5)
Highest ranked team beaten: #3 Ravenspire, 3-1 WC10
Lowest ranked team lost to: #150 Zinkoland, 1-2 WC10
Overall record since WC4: P292, W177, D57, L58, F529, A240
Most famous players: Zack De La Rocha (Striker, WC4-5)
Lee Branson (Defender, WC9-12)
Jonny Willow (Striker, WC9-11, 14-16)
Aaron O`Malley (Striker, WC12-15)
Danny Bracken (Striker, WC15-18)
Favorite Rivals: Total 'n Utter Insanity, Lemmitania, The Belmore Family, Squornshelous, Iansisle
Favorite Audioslavian League Club teams: Cornellby City, Raiden F.C., Machinegrad F.C.
Favorite Cheer: "Who the fuck are Iansisle", "Howay, Fuck the Lemmings" and the fan favourite, The Insanician Badger-Buster Boogie
Favorite gameday food: Fish, Chips, Fish and Chips
Favorite National Anthems: Audioslavia, Lemmitania
Nicest World Cup host country: Lemmitania
Favorite method of public transportation to the Audioslavian National Arena, Soundgardia: Movement of people
Most popular jerseys to buy: Marriot 10, McLlroy 9, any number 14
Best premier team stadium: Black Lemur Complex, and it is very complex.

Dave: So.. what did you want to ask?

Jane: Nevermind...

Rejistania

09-02-2005, 12:08

Update about The Orange-White-Blue regions
Many people seem to have very limited knowledge about The Rejis so the KaMaRi update publishes this information for foreigners.

Name: Rejistania, Rejistaniha, tani Rejis
Prounounciation: [Re-JEEZ-ta-nee-ha]
Team colors: Orange and Blue
World Cup abbreviation: REJ or RJ
Name for people from Rejistania: Rejistanians
Adjective for things from Rejistania: Rejistanian
Official name of sport in country: Sekhika
Name of national team organization: Asene sekhika rejistaniha
Date of creation of ASR: about World Cup 8
# of World Cups not participated in (including qualifiers): 1 to 8
# of World Cup finals not participated in: two more
Honors: Well, that would sound like bragging, wouldn't it? But well: Won WC12, WC17 and WC18, runner up in WC14, third in WC16, won U21WC5, U21WC10 and U21WC11.
Biggest wins: Rejistania 10 Ravea 1 (WC17)
Biggest loss: Please note: according to fans this did not happen: Oglethorpia 5 Rejistania 2
Biggest finals win: Rejistania 5 Lovisa 0 (WC16), Rejistania 5 EL CID THE HERO 0 (WC17), Rejistania 5 Eskrador 0 (WC18)
Biggest finals loss: 0:2 on 3 occasions: against Tanah Burung (WC12), against Europa Brittania (WC15) and against One Red Dot (WC17)
Highest world rank: 1
Lowest world rank: 41 After World Cup 10
Highest ranked team beaten: Arridia (8th at that time) as unranked team
Lowest ranked team lost to: Adams Island does not exist!
Most famous players: SyLy (WC9-12), Nana Daki (WC11-14), SyMji (WC15-18)
Favorite Rivals: Eauz, Aquilla (rivalry stalled for obvious reasons), Kaze Progressa
Favorite Rejistanian League Club teams: Hades Lavamje, Sike Kaletri, Najajara Ynu, Karela Lines and Kalisimu Salan
Favorite Cheer: "Han'iln, Rejistaniha", "iln'aru lehiju'ny!" the Xamjona tekne song
Favorite gameday food: spicy meatballs
Stadium for Home Games in the qualifiers: Estadije Sen-La-Sa~o Relekhati
Overall record: 140-38-34 438:200 +238
Longest Winning streak: 11 (WC12)
Longest Losing streak: 4 (WC9, WC14)
Longest time without victory: 4 (WC9)
Longest time without loss: 26 (WCQ15)
Longest time without draw: 17 (Supercup, WCQ11)
Most goals for in one game: 10 (Ravea, WCQ17)
Most goals against in one game: 5 (Oglethorpia, WCQ10)

Mikun (editor): Will anybody read that?
Jahada (reporter): I hope so... this seems to be modern at the moment.
Mikun: Are we stupid enough to follow every trend?
Jahada: No, but people need some information
Mikun: They could check the wiki for the sake of all that is good and holy!
Jahada: The wiki is an OOC source.
Mikun: oh!

Druida

09-02-2005, 13:09

OOC ANNOUNCEMENT: Results for the Second Round in the Starblaydi Region will be telegrammed in the very near future, with those for the Druidan region hopefully following shortly after that. Thanking you please.

Starblaydia

09-02-2005, 13:22

OOC ANNOUNCEMENT: with those for the Druidan region hopefully following shortly after that.

When my email server decides to resurrect itself, scores will be generated and TGd, dontcha worry

Rejistania

09-02-2005, 13:55

Eels slip into first place - Orange-Blues go through

The Orange-Blues defeated the Turori Eels on the last and decisive matchday of group stage. After an embarrassing loss to the Streetians, the Orange-Blues desperately needed a win not just to go through (they had a chance to progress with a draw) but to be able to return home without being egged. The Eels are a known opponent, however no opponent like Ravea, which can be dispatched double digit.

The Orange-Blues played a System Jesejil against the System Hangila of Turori. The match was very balanced, most action took place in the midfield. The Eels had the first good chance in the match in the 10th minute, but Jualiar Vumaou's shot went over the goal. The Orange-Blues were successful in the 42nd minute when a mistake of Raoibn Olioab allowed it Salakerijasamenatira "Sa" Harakemindanutikejil to get into good position and score. The score was 1:0. The Orange-Blues changed their System Jesejil immediately to a System Karela. Despite the Turoris attacking fiercely, the scoreline remained for the rest of the match. The scorelines of the match of the Streeters was displayed too on the scoreboard and after the Lovisian score rose, the cheering started. This is no 15th or 19th Cup of Shame, the Orange-Blues got past the group stage. Their next opponent is the defending world champion Crystilakere.

The result:
Turori 0
Rejistania 1 (Harakemindanutikejil 42nd)

Audioslavia

09-02-2005, 14:59

Ownd Red Dot
Audioslavia Pick Up The Pace

After ricketty performances in qualifying, an opening day loss to The Lowland Clans and a questionable performance against Bedistan the 'slaves finally look like getting somewhere near the form that theyre capable of.

The 'slaves swept aside the Wolves of One Red Dot with a scintillating first half display, playing the sort of football that hints that the current 'weakened' first eleven may actually be a better team than the first usual starters.

Ally Marriot, Audioslavia's saviour for many years, wasn't missed in midfield as Oskari and Araxie played off each other beautifully, with Oran Crevan as solid as ever behind them.

Aron Ceulemans proved an amicable replacement for suspended captain Greigs Johnstone, executing a perfect tackle in the second half which denied Wolves' striker Jerry Bander a perfect scoring opportunity.

Far from outplayed, the Wolves were resoloute and solid in their football with many flourishes and skilfull moves, but it was the 'slaves sheer brilliance on the ball in ORD territory which won them the game.

The first goal, on twenty-six minutes, was proof of this. Oskari and Rijsbergen played two one-two's off each other to get Rijsbergen into space in front of the two defenders. The pass to McLlroy seemed a bad idea at the time due to the proximity of Garrett's marking, but with a beautiful turn and a burst of pace he flummoxed the defender, nipped round him and went to shoot but instead, dragged the ball back and laid it off to Arie Jansen who was arriving into the box. A sharp finish past the stranded Wolves goalie Reggie Stenia gave the 'slaves a one-goal lead.

Audioslavia furthered their lead two minutes before the interval, Jorma Taavi capitalised on a wayward pass by Chen, took the ball forward and hit a sweet cross over to the far side where Jansen was waiting. Jansen's volley was charged down by Hanagi, but McLlroy was there to pick up the pieces and smash the ball into the roof of the net.

2-0 up at half-time, the 'slaves were getting increasingly confident of victory, but the Wolves are nothing if not resilient, and in the second half would start to get the edge on the midfield battle.

On sixty minutes One Red Dot got their best chance of the game. A long spell of consistent pressure had tired out the 'slavian defence, and Kane Turensor soon found he could get the better of Ashen Avari and threaten the Audioslavian goal. This happened on the hour mark as he recieved a ball from Chen, dummied the defender and broke past him down the left. Ceulemans went to intercept but was beaten by a drop of Turensor's shoulder as he skipped inside him. With a snap he pinged the ball goalwards. Walsh was beaten by the shot, but with an agonising thud the ball came back off the inside of the far post and back accross the face of the goal to the groans of thousands of One Red Dot fans in the stadium.

One Red Dot kept the pressure up, niggling away at the 'slaves defence and forcing Dave Mill to make some defensive substitutions, replacing midfielder Crevan with centre-half Casimir Ziven and replacing a tiring Ashen Avari with Azure Cirrocco. Both Ziven and Cirrocco, making their debuts for Audioslavia, looked nervous, but had the pace to keep up with the One Red Dot strikers and managed to keep the dangerous Turensor and Bander at bay.

Despite the constant pressure, the 'slaves held on well, managing to keep the fort and make occasional, but fruitless, forays into the Wolves' half. With time ticking away, Chris Gwee took time away from playing with his email system to make some last-ditch substitutions, throwing on two strikers for a midfielder and a defender. It almost worked as Wrenning combined well with Xessol to let through Bander in the 87th minute, but Ceulemans was there to make an excellent challenge.

After four minutes of injury time the referee blew for time to the sounds of a thousand cheering Audioslavians as the 'slaves progressed, for just the fourth time in their history, to the quarter finals of the world cup.

FINAL SCORE

One Red Dot 0-2 Audioslavia
26 Jansen
44 McLlroy

|| Second round ||| Quarter-finals ||| Semi-finals ||| Final ||

Starblaydia (18)-----------|
|------------------|
Bedistan (17)--------------| |
|---------------|
Audioslavia (2)------------| | |
|Audioslavia (2)---| |
One Red Dot (19)-----------| |
|---------
Total n Utter Insanity (4)-| |
|------------------| |
Melmond (10)---------------| | |
|---------------|
Dance 2 Revolution (1)-----| |
|------------------|
Squornshelous (14)---------|

EL CID THE HERO (16)-------|
|------------------|
Eauz (13)------------------| |
|---------------|
Vilita (6)-----------------| | |
|------------------| |
Iansisle (11)--------------| |
|---------
Crystilakere (3)-----------| |
|------------------| |
Rejistania (5)-------------| | |
|---------------|
Turori (8)-----------------| |
|------------------|
Spaam (46)-----------------|

Crystilakere

09-02-2005, 16:17

Crystils title defense over

The Crystilakere Crystils reign as world cup champions has come to an end after a dissapointing loss to Rejistania. Filippo Ferraro levelled the scores but Rejistania scored late to send the world cup champions home early. Crystilakere [1] Rejistania [2]

Vilita

09-02-2005, 17:32

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/vgr.gif

Vilitan Government calls for calm as more Flock to Druida

----------------------Vilitans of all shapes and sizes stormed the Away Ground in Port Scadock, Druida, packing over 150,000 spectators on shoulders and fences inside the 46,000 seat arena for the World Cup second round matchup between Vilita and Iansisle. Most of the population of Vilita was already in Druida for the Finals, with the most recent count showing 2.02 Billion settling in in one of the largest tailgate parties in world history. The second round clash was fittingly held at the home of the Druidan football institution, the Vilitan Exiles. The number of Vilitans in the small region outnumbered all other nationalities, including Druidan, by 14 to 1.

Vilita Goalscorers::
61' Riccardo Appolloni
71' Serge DuPont
89' Santo Kecker
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

----------------------The match itself did not dissapoint, despite Vilita trailing 1-0 at half time. However, Vilita dominated the match in the second half, recording 11 shot on target, and converting on 3 of them to advance to the Quarter Finals where they will once again face new rivals Eauz. The match against Iansisle can only prove one thing. Who needs shootouts! They got it done in regular time!.

----------------------Following the match, word quickly spread to the 36 Million Vilitans not in druida, and over half of those began the journey to the Druidan mainland to witness their national team compete in the Quarter Finals for the first time since the Vilitan hosted World Cup 17. Something was in the air in Druida, and it came from Vilita.

Full Time Analysis:

Vilita

Best Player: Santo Kecker
Worst Player: Serge DuPont
Shots on Target: 14
Corner Kicks: 15

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/teamsheet.gif
Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Jimmy Kater, [D] Andrea Lamberti, [D] Jaloey Afrikka, [D] Sibusiso Azaïez, [DMC] Jürgen Ramzi, [ML] Santo Kecker, [MC] Inaki Soler, [MC] Tanner Nerni, [MR] Jacques Vintila, [FC] Riccardo Appolloni, [FC] Serge DuPont,
BENCH::
[FC] Callum Banda, [FC] Carmine Mbidzo, [M] Antonis Siazzu, [M] Maurizio Sala, [U] Calaesa Mitaroka, [D] Ricky Ezis, [GK] Bryan 'Pop' Duiker,

Vilita Substitutions::
(45) - Jürgen Ramzi >>> Maurizio Sala
(67) - Inaki Soler >>> Calaesa Mitaroka

Dance 2 Revolution

09-02-2005, 17:52

...

No more ranking glitches please

The Dance 2 Revolution team was knocked out of the tournament...what a shame.

We won't tell you who we were against, because this is a peice of propa...a motivational peice, so who knocked us out doesn't really matter.

We lost by a single goal to nil, and we are happy to announce that D2R have fell in the rankings!

Lets face it, How do we deserve to be even in the top 5? We have reached one final, and won one Third Place Playoff match in the space of 8 cups, with one missed out. We are not rated by any team. We suck badly on the pitch. We qualify by whiskers. AND WE CAN'T BEAT SQUO...Rejistania. We have no legendary players.

This has been WC20, our LAST cup we ever compete in*!

(*As rank #1)

Squornshelous

09-02-2005, 22:07

Today's Upset Special

Stage set for a possible rematch with TnUI
A glorious 1-0 victory over Dance 2 Revolution propelled Squornshelous into the World Cup Quarterfinals for the sixth time. We will face the winner of the Total n Utter Insanity/Melmond match. The Pschychoes went into this contest totally unintimidated by their opponents and walked away with a win. "We said coming into this one that we were gonna surprise them," said keeper Lenny Speer, "We just didn't let ourselves get caught up in all of the hype surrounding their ranking."

The game was a defensive battle, as 1-0 matches typically are, involving few scoring chances for either team, and brilliant saves by goalkeepers on most of those. Obviously though, one of those shots made it through on the Pschychoes' attacking end. Trevor Gerrard was the hero of the day, making a fantastic shot on a rebound. Jako Arnesson fired a shot on net from a low angle near the corner, and Verdio Day easily punched it away, however, the spin on the ball caused it to shoot up over the penalty area. As the ball hung in the air, Gerrard seemed to fall backwards, but as billions of Squornshelan fans at home, at the game and at miriad sports bars across the globe began to scream for a PK, his right leg came up and knocked the ball backward into the net. The D2R defenders looked at the ball in the back of the net in a stunned sort of silence, not really believing that someone had pulled off a bicycle kick goal.

Lenny Speer Makes a save in the 43rd minute:
http://www.madison.com/images/articles/tct/2004/09/03/2083.jpg

Final Score:
Squornshelous 1-0 Dance 2 Revolution

Scoring Summary:
SQ: Gerrard [57]

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Gerrard: 15
Popov: 9
Arnesson: 9
Washington: 3

|| Second round ||| Quarter-finals ||| Semi-finals ||| Final ||

Starblaydia (18)-----------|
|------------------|
Bedistan (17)--------------| |
|---------------|
Audioslavia (2)------------| | |
|Audioslavia (2)---| |
One Red Dot (19)-----------| |
|---------
Total n Utter Insanity (4)-| |
|------------------| |
Melmond (10)---------------| | |
|---------------|
Dance 2 Revolution (1)-----| |
|Squornshelous (14)|
Squornshelous (14)---------|

EL CID THE HERO (16)-------|
|------------------|
Eauz (13)------------------| |
|---------------|
Vilita (6)-----------------| | |
|Vilita (6)--------| |
Iansisle (11)--------------| |
|---------
Crystilakere (3)-----------| |
|Rejistania (5)----| |
Rejistania (5)-------------| | |
|---------------|
Turori (8)-----------------| |
|------------------|
Spaam (46)-----------------|

Bedistan

09-02-2005, 23:25

The Bedistan Sports Digest
World Cup Edition

Lewis Arrested in Espionage Case
BFA president accused of hacking aSWORD e-mail server

COLUMBIA, F.D. - Federal authorities arrested Bedistan Football Association president Johnny Lewis last night upon his discharge from Amissville General Hospital, stating that they had sufficient evidence to hold him on suspicion of espionage.

Lewis is suspected of unlawfully gaining access to the Association for the Sports World of One Red Dot's primary e-mail server. The basis for this accusation is a copy of an apparently confidential e-mail sent by ORD national team coach Chris Gwee to aSWORD president Alvin Ker found on Lewis' hard drive. When questioned, neither Gwee nor Ker claimed that they had given Lewis access to the message.

Lewis is scheduled to appear in court for the first time on August 4.

We're Baaaaaaaaaaaack...
Co-hosts downed by in-form Green-Blues

JHANNA, Starblaydia -- Well, it didn't look like the Bedistan national team would be able to break their three-cup streak of going out in the second round. Not facing co-hosts Starblaydia at Foundation Road, at any rate. But it finally happened, and it will be Bedistan, not Starblaydia, going on to the quarterfinals after a 2-1 decision in extra time...

Continued: Please see BACK, page A3

[ooc: will finish rp later, but dinner's coming soon and my computer has an annoying habit of mucking up if i'm away from it for too long.]

Rejistania

10-02-2005, 13:34

ST: Hejida listeners, you are listening to your favorite Rejistanian English speaking radio station Radio RejisCAST. I am your host Sirake Tekim. Of course, we try to report about the match of the Orange-Blues. Kansu Siki is for us in Druida. Can you hear me Kansu?

KS: No, I can't!

ST: Okay, then no match report today!

KS: Hey you debtor, it was a joke!

ST: Also debtor! I was joking too and you start becoming aggressive!

KS: Your jokes are bad!

ST: That is because I adopted your level. If I made great jokes, you'd appear like the last retard!

KS: You can't recognize a great joke if it bites you in the nose!

ST: I never had a joke bite me, so maybe I would have difficulties recognizing one.

KS: That is because never one crossed your way!

ST: well, Kansu, maybe you really should start talking about the match!

KS: Okay, Sirake. The Rejistanians are up against defending world champion Crystilakere. Surely a hard task for our beloved Orange-Blues. I talked to some fans and they do not expect a win for the Orange-Blues.

ST: in "Sijah'han sijehi" they did...

KS: That is because the experts in that show are no pessimistic Rejistanians.

ST: Indeed. By the way, did your techs install these updates?

KS: Sh... (connection breaks down)

ST: That was a 'no'.

(78th minute)
KS: Hejida Sirake! Had some problems over here!

ST: What a surprise!

KS: The score is 1:1. "Sasi" was able to score from a penalty, but unfortunately Filippo Ferraro could equalize in the 47th minute after a corner shot. The Orange-Blues and the Crystils fought fiercely in the entire match.

ST: Good, 1:1 is better than a 0:2!

KS: Indeed. The Orange-Blues tried another attack, again over the wings. Minikse'he... outsmarts Arrigoni'he, passes to "Sa"... Addis'he could parry this shot... no he couldn't, it reflected, bounced back onto the field... JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, "Sa" shot the reflected ball into the goal. XXXXXXKKKKKKKKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

(90+2nd minute)
KS: And that is the final whistle... the Orange-Blues defeated the no longer defending world champion Crystilakere 2:1! Back to KaMaRi!

Total n Utter Insanity

10-02-2005, 15:16

World Cup 20 Quarterfinal Preview

Bedistan
What can be said about Bedistan that hasn't already be said...they are good is one example. All joking aside, Bedistan have placed highly and been ranked highly for years, minus the current drop outside of the top 10. If they were up against anyone other than Audioslavia, I'd pick them to go through...unfortunately for the ex-Lions they're screwed.

Audioslavia
Currently on their best run of form ever. The ASholes seemed unstoppable last cup until they met the same fate as the Insanicians. Consistently in the top 10 for as long as anyone cares to remember, not that many care to remember or care full stop, we have to pick the ASholes to go through to yet another Semifinal.

Total n Utter Insanity
Brilliant, excellent, stunning, magnificent, superb, divine. All words that have never been used to describe the Insanicians, but perhaps they could shock a few more people after their Cinderella run to the semifinals last time around.

Squornshelous
Surely the grudge match of the Quarterfinals, the Squorrels are one of the most annoying teams, having upset possible twos of great teams. Who can forget when they kicked Auidoslavia in the nuts? 5-0 wasn't it? I'm pretty sure. That must have been painful. Expect the Insanicians to send them scurrying back to the tree to hibernate till the next World Cup.

Eauz
Les Bleurrrr. A shadow of their former selves, expect Eauz to grossly under perform against Vilita after the demoralized team heard of their countries destruction not so long ago.

Vilita
Love them or hate them, or really hate them, the Villians have come a long way in a short amount of time. Whether it was skill and determination, a large suitcase full of bribes or a bit of both that got them there is irrelevant, pending the court case; the Villians are here to stay. World Cup 20 or 21 might just be the Villians first cup. Watch this space.

Rejistania
Hate them or hate them more, the Rejistanian version of totally defensive football has won them more cups than...well anyone else. You would be foolish to bet against them progressing to the next stage and just because I don't want to see a Villian-Henchman Semifinal, I'm gonna have to put my money where my mouth is. What this'll accomplish I'm not sure, but one thing is for sure; Insanician Meeps taste funny.

Turori
The Henchmen, always conspiring, working for the master Villian, they have taken down many a foe. This is where their evil scheming comes to an end, die puppet die!!!

Semifinals:
Audioslavia vs Total n Utter Insanity
Vilita vs Rejistania

Krytenia

10-02-2005, 15:51

Ah, what the hell.

The Krytenia National Football Team
A short guide

Name: Krytenia
Prounounciation: [cry-TEN-ya]
Team colors: Sky and navy blue.
Team nickname: Celestials (WC15-WC20); Caledonians (WC21 onwards)
World Cup abbreviation: KRY
Name for people from Krytenia: Krytenians
Adjective for things from Krytenia: Krytenian
Official name of sport in country: Football, Soccer
Name of national team organization: Krytenian Football Association (KFA)
# of World Cups not participated in (including qualifiers): 14 (the first fourteen)
# of World Cup finals not participated in: 3 (WC15, WC18, WC19)
Honors: No
Biggest wins: Krytenia 7, Vorpal Bunnies 0 (WC17 qualifying MD9)
Biggest losses: Krytenia 0, Europa Britannia 4 (WC16 Group Phase)
Biggest finals win: er, win?
Biggest finals losses: Krytenia 0, Europa Brittania 4 (WC16 Group Phase)
Highest world rank: 30 (After WC17 Finals)
Lowest world rank: 151 (after WC15 BoF)
Highest ranked team beaten: #4 (Rejistania, WC20 Qualifying - 3-2 & 2-0)
Lowest ranked team lost to: #72 (Spurland, WC17 Qualifying - 1-0)
Overall record: Pass
World Cup finals record: P9 W0 D3 L6
Favorite Rivals: Starblaydia, Vilita, Sarzonia
National Stadium: Davis Memorial Stadium, Everton City (cap 115,000)

Eauz2

10-02-2005, 16:45

*Posting as Eauz2, because they deleted my account, I'm currently appealing it though, so hopefully everything will be good in the near future...

Les Bleus received news from home, that a controversial issue has torn the nation apart. They have seen their nation fall into turmoil for a while, due to some words said in parliament by a few of the members to others. Eauz football officials back in Eauz, have said that the team should stay in Druida, at least for the rest of the cup, to ensure that things can be worked out in the country. Now, outsiders are reviewing the case, and will provide a verdict in the coming days.

As for the World Cup, Les Bleus were able to continue their unbeaten streak by beating EL CID, by a score of 2 – 0. The match was fairly evened out near the start, but Eauz with its experience in the cup, and stronger defence seemed to prevail in the later moments of the match.

As for the next match, Les Bleus will be playing against Vilita, who Eauz have not had the greatest success against. The current record between the two teams has Vilita on top, with 1 victory and a tie between the two. When asked about the match, coach Joseuf said:

“All I can say, is that we have been reviewing the video’s and the way they play, and we will hope to be on the winning side at the end. Vilita is a very tough team, and we have not yet in our history beaten them. I was though, impressed during the groups stage, when we tied them 1 – 1. It proves to me that our team has the heart and mind to compete against Vilita.”

Tomorrows match will definitely be one not to miss, and it appears that many Eauz fans are expected to turn up. Eauz fans miss being able to see their team advance deep in the finals, and do not want to see them fail in tomorrows match.

Eauzx

10-02-2005, 17:35

Actually, that other account is messed up, I'll be using this one to post as Eauz.

EL CID THE HERO

10-02-2005, 18:14

the following actions happened between the hours of 5pm and 6pm.

Doomhammer is on his bike nearing the airport. S.Sam is already there with all of Doomhamer’s luggage.

DH: so the WC dream is over then?

SS: yep

DH: and you forgot to feed my fish didn't you?

SS: sadly yes, but we did get to the last 16 and i got a tan so its not too bad.

DH: so what, should we just go home or should we stay and see the WC through?

SS: I’m going to stay. to me the quarterfinals will be the start of the WC. Us not having to compete in them gives one a new prospective. what will you do?

DH: well I’m going home, get some R and R. this WC is over for me. but the next WC has only began. Maybe it will be the quarters next year maybe not. See you then Sam.

SS: see you Doomhammer

Commerce Heights

10-02-2005, 22:35

The press of the United Spaam Sports Weekly, on its return to Spaam, printed out the following document:

Name: Unified Capitalizt States of Commerce Heights, Inc. (short form: Commerce Heights)
Prounounciation: kŏm′ ərs hīts
Team colors: green and gold
World Cup abbreviation: COM
Name for people from Commerce Heights: Capitalizts
Adjective for things from Commerce Heights: Capitalizt
Official name of sport in country: soccer
Name of national team organization: Commerce Heights Footballing Federation
Date of creation of CHFF: between WC7 and WC8
# of World Cups not participated in (including qualifiers): 6
# of World Cup finals not participated in: 2 out of 14
Honors: won WC15, third in WC12, won CoH3 (post-WC11)
Biggest win: Commerce Heights 7 Liechtenistan 0 (WC18Q)
Biggest loss: Kingsford 4 Commerce Heights 0 (WC11Q)
Biggest finals wins: Commerce Heights 3 Oddslavo 1 (WC16 1R)
Lemmitania 0 Commerce Heights 2 (WC12 2R)*
Commerce Heights 2 Oglethorpia 0 (WC12 QF)
Commerce Heights 2 The Lowland Clans 0 (WC12 3PPO)
Commerce Heights 2 Runaway Moose 0 (WC13 1R)
Biggest finals losses: Commerce Heights 0 Audioslavia 3 (WC10 1R)
Commerce Heights 0 Bedistan 3 (WC16 QF)
Highest world rank: 3 (post-WC12)
Lowest world rank: 54 (post-WC7)
Highest ranked team beaten: [#23] Commerce Heights 4 [#2] Haraki 2 (WC9Q)
[#23] Commerce Heights 1 [#2] Liverpool England 0 (WC10Q)
[#23] Commerce Heights 2 [#2] Eauz 1 (WC15 SF)*
[#2] Dance 2 Revolution 2 [#20] Commerce Heights 3 (WC20Q)
Lowest ranked team lost to: [#23] Commerce Heights 0 [#200] Isles of Wohlstand 1 (WC15Q)
Favorite Rivals: Aquilla, Audioslavia, Bedistan, Eauz
Favorite CHFF Professional Soccer teams: Sonoma Center Panthers, Lexington Firefoxes, Commerce Heights Thunderbirds, Yu-Po Firebirds
Stadium for Home Games in the qualifiers: CDA National Stadium (Commerce Heights, CT; cap. 173,205)
Overall record: 137‒61‒56 448:254 +194
Longest winning streak: 6 (WC13Q, WC17Q)
Longest losing streak: 3 (WC18Q)
Longest time without victory: 5 (WC19Q‒WC20Q)
Longest time without loss: 18 (CoH3‒WC12Q)
Longest time without draw: 18 (WC9Q‒WC10Q)
Most goals for in one game: Pure Evil 1 Commerce Heights 7 (WC17Q)
Commerce Heights 7 Liechtenistan 0 (WC18Q)
Most goals against in one game: Commerce Heights 6 Squornshelous 5 APK (WC15 final)

*Although CH played Lemmitania in the finals, Lemmitania, as a host, played at home. Although Eauz was a host in WC15, the semifinal against them was played in The Eagles Nest.

Bedistan

11-02-2005, 01:36

We are in some rich guy's beach house in Port Lusambo, West Jativa, Bedistan. The TV is tuned to BSTV (you were expecting something else?). A man in his early thirties is seated on the sofa in front of the 72-inch plasma television, beer in hand. Specifically, one of the last cans of "38 Special" produced before Snub Nose 4.6*10^-26 fell into the sea. There is some apparent activity in the kitchen off to the right. Well, off to the right based on the perspective of our shiny new Magical Camera of RP™, which is pointed at the TV screen.

"Hey, Bill, get out here, the game's about to start!"

"Why are we even bothering to watch this? You know we're gonna get our asses kicked by those damn Starblaydis."

"Shut your face and bring out the bean dip! And I've got two thousand bucks riding on this match, so the Green-Blues better win!"

"Two thousand? Please, that's nothing. I wipe my rear end with hundred-bakrani notes in the bathroom."

"Too much info, man. Just get out here."

Bill arrives with the requested bean dip, and the two grow silent for a moment. A voice on the TV speaks.

"This is a BSTV special production."

"Really? Here I thought it was freakin' BNN."

"Quiet, you."

A montage of the greatest moments in Bedistani football plays. The unlikely win over Mojave in the eight-way playoff to put Bedistan in the World Cup finals on their first ever attempt. The glorious four-nil demolition of Aquilla in WC6 qualifying. The win over Pure Evil in WC7 to put the Lions in the semifinals for the first time. The team walking into Holmes Stadium to kick off the WC8 final - never mind the outcome of that match. Another four-nil demolition, this time of the Belmore Family in the quarterfinals of WC9. The Lions' offense firing on all cylinders as they score five goals in a match for the first time against LordSquall in WC10 qualifying. Then they do it one better, with a 6-1 decision over Dual supporters in WC11 qualifying - pretty much that tournament's only redeeming value. The two draws with Rejistania in WC12 qualifying - not really that big an achievement back then, but looking at where those Orange-Blues ended up, definitely not too shabby. The only time Bedistan has ever been involved in a penalty shootout in a World Cup, and it results in a 5-4 victory over Europa Britannia in the second round of WC13. Then we jump ahead a bit in time - it seems BSTV couldn't find anything special about Bedistani performance in World Cups 14 and 15. So to compensate, we get two from Sixteen. The joint-biggest win in Bedistani history, 7-0 over ASSKICKEN on the opening day of qualifying, followed by an incredible 1-0 defeat of Rejistania in Rejistania to reach the final for the second time. Then it's another seven-nil, now over Vorpal Bunnies in WC17 qualifying. For WC18, we see Bedistan's only win in that tournament, and an exciting match it was - five-three over Lovisa in the first round. Nothing from WC19 - guess the five-nil win over the cardboard cutouts representing SN38 wasn't considered worthy enough. It didn't count, after all. And finally, the longest-awaited win in Bedistani history - the 2-1 over Liverpool England from just a few weeks ago. Despite the extremely long description here, the whole montage only took about two and a half minutes total. Music fades in at the end along with the Starblaydia/Druida WC20 logo.

"Hello, sports fans, and welcome to Foundation Road here in Jhanna, Starblaydia, where we're getting set to kick off what should prove to be a very exciting second-round World Cup Twenty face-off between host nation Starblaydia and our own beloved Bedistan. I'm Mike Michaels, and I'll be calling the shots from our very own broadcast booth high above the pitch."

"And I'm Ken Jenkins, your color commentator for this match. Which doesn't make much sense, because I'm white."

"I can't believe you just said that, Ken."

"Said what?"

"Anyway, we're about ten minutes from kickoff, and they're about ready to play the national anthems. As the visiting nation, Bedistan's anthem will be played first."

"I don't even know our national anthem."

"To be honest, neither do I."

"Does anybody know it?"

"Well, I don't know if anyone in Bedistan does, but apparently someone in Svecia does. Apparently, it's one of the favorite anthems over there."

"Huh. Maybe I should be quiet for once and figure out what I'm missing."

"That might be best."

The two are quiet for a few minutes as the Bedistani anthem plays.

"Wow. I think they're right, Mike. That really is a good one."

"Much better than the Capitalizt anthem, that's for sure. Anyway, let's listen to Starblaydia's now."

They do so.

"Decent, certainly. I don't know that it's as good as ours, but it's still better than the one for Commerce Heights."

"Do you even know their anthem?"

"Nope. But I can still tell you it's got to be pretty bad. After all, it was probably written by whoever would accept the smallest payment."

"Very true. Anyway, let's look at the team lineups for this match. Starblaydia first..."

STARBLAYDIA
-----------

Goalkeeper
1. Markus Cragg

Defense
3. Khim Azanulbizarn
6. Jamie Majeed
5. Jean-Pierre Durand (capt)
2. Roberto Di Bradini

Midfield
8. Tetsuo Naoki
11. Nick Matranga
7. Geraint Evans
4. Jerome Montefalcon

Attack
9. Marco Del Blanco
10. Darius Belizaire

"And for Bedistan..."

BEDISTAN
--------

Goalkeeper
12. Nick Reagan

Defense
26. Wes Lipinski
20. Jill Greene
21. Tara Pullman

Midfield
24. Xavier Parks
93. Nathan Gordon
17. Kelly Bowden
29. Thomas Mannheim

Attack
11. Kyle Dean
15. George Washburn (capt)
25. Vanessa Carpenter

"The classical 4-4-2 for Starblaydia versus Bedistan's more attacking 3-4-3. The big burden today will be on the Starblaydi defense, as they'll have to stand up to a lot of pressure from Dean, Washburn, and Carpenter if they're to have any hope of carrying the day."

"And there's the starting whistle - let's get this show on the road."

[23rd minute]

"Kelly Bowden takes the ball at midfield. She's searching...trying hard to find an opening with Montefalcon and Evans looking to steal the ball away. There's her opening...she makes the pass to Mannheim. Mannheim in some clear space, he volleys it forward to Kyle Dean. Dean turns with the ball, slips past Di Bradini, only Markus Cragg to beat. Facing pressure...there's a shot, but not good at all. Off the crossbar and directly into Cragg's hands."

"Patience is the key here, and Dean didn't have it. Would've been a much better idea to pass it back to Parks and get a fresh perspective on the attack."

[32nd minute]

"Tetsuo Naoki moving up the middle. Greene with...an extremely late tackle, so late she didn't even trip Naoki up. He's in the eighteen-yard box, darting left and right, trying to fool the keeper. Shot with his right--no, that was a fake, and Reagan knew it. He plays it out to Del Blanco. Del Blanco moving in from the corner...he shoots far right, but Naoki is there to head it in! Goal! One-nil Starblaydia!"

"Some excellent teamwork there by Naoki and Del Blanco. Also great performance by Nick Reagan; he didn't let that bluff get the better of him."

[45th minute]

"Last chance before halftime. Matranga plays the ball forward, but nobody's there to take it. For either side. Oh slani, I think that's going in--no! Reagan falls on the ball in desperation to prevent the goal! Oh my, and I think that was a rather hard fall, too. He seems to be having some trouble getting up. Halftime whistle blows...in the middle of an injury? That's weird. I'm not totally sure Nick Reagan will be able to come back for the second half after that one."

"Tough loss for the Green-Blues if he is indeed out. Backup goalies Morgan and Lewis have almost no international experience whatsoever, and a World Cup finals match against a host nation is no time to be trying out new players."

[46th minute]

"And we are once again underway here at Foundation Road. Two substitutions at halftime: Jose Tirado on for Nick Matranga after the latter was complaining of some minor chest pains. Nothing serious, but discomforting enough to keep him out for the second half. Also, it's Sam Morgan in goal for Bedistan after Nick Reagan's self-inflicted injury at the end of the first half."

"If we somehow do manage to win this match, having Reagan out for the quarterfinal would not be good at all for our chances of reaching the semis. The others just don't have the experience."

[62nd minute]

"The Starblaydi defense has really tightened up here in the second half, but it's not preventing Bedistan from attacking. They've taken four shots on goal this half, two of them on target. And now Kyle Dean looks like he's about to take a fifth. Here's a shot....GOAL! One mighty kick by 28-year-old Dean, and the score has been equalized. One-one!"

"Kyle Dean had been performing a bit below expectations lately, both for the national team and for his club, Yuba United. But that is a very important goal, and that's why he's on the national team, folks."

[90th minute]

"The Starblaydi attack machine really seems to be weakening here, as they haven't been able to do anything of note since halftime. The defense is still just as strong as it was at the start of the match, though, and that's why the score remains 1-1. Looks like we're headed for extra time, folks."

[103rd minute]

"Chapman with a pass upfield...Cardinal will take it. Both those players second-half substitutes, on for Gordon and Carpenter respectively. Cardinal wheels around, gets into the box...he's gonna pass to Dean, but no! A gust of wind blows it over to the far goalpost, the ball bounces off and IN! GOAL Bedistan! Veteran striker Sven Cardinal, one of only two players remaining from Bedistan's WC16 runner-up team, comes in off the bench to score the go-ahead goal in extra time! It's two-one Bedistan, and Starblaydia is in trouble."

"And just as I expected, it looks like Davidson's instructing the team to pull back. Can't make any substitutions, but they're now pulling back into basically a 5-4-1, Parks and Mannheim dropping back to defense and Dean and Washburn back to midfield, leaving Cardinal alone in front."

[120th minute]

"I hate to say it, but Starblaydia has run out of steam. Stick a fork in 'em, they're done."

"Indeed they are done, as that's the final whistle. Surprising analysts all over the world, the Bedistan Green-Blues are moving on to the quarterfinals to play Audioslavia once again. That'll be next Sunday at two, one in the Jativan Islands. For Ken Jenkins and the BSTV crew, I'm Mike Michaels. Goodbye, everyone."

-----

FINAL SCORE:
Bedistan 2 (Dean 62, Cardinal 103)
Starblaydia 1 (Naoki 32)

Turori

11-02-2005, 01:57

The Turori Stat Book off the top of my head:

Name: The Island Emirate of Turori (short form: Turori)
Prounounciation: Too-Roar-E
Team colors: Sienna, Electric Blue & Toke
World Cup abbreviation: TUR
Name for people from Commerce Heights: Turorians
Adjective for things from Commerce Heights: Turori
Official name of sport in country: Football (Soccer)
Name of national team organization: Football Association of Turori (FAT)
Date of creation: BoF World Cup 15
# of World Cups not participated in (including qualifiers): 14
# of World Cup finals not participated in: 2 out of 6
Honors: BoF P15 Champions, Eagles Cup III Champions
Biggest win: Turori 7 - 0 Chacor (Colony Cup 1.1 - Incomplete Records)
Biggest loss: Turori 1 - 6 Vilita (AOCAF 1 - Incomplete Records)
Biggest finals wins: Turori 4-1 Cockbill Street
Highest world rank: 8 Current
Lowest world rank: 200 (Starting Rank)
Highest ranked team beaten: [#1] Rejistania (WC17Q); [#1] Eauz (ECIII)
Lowest ranked team lost to: (Incomplete Records)
Favorite Rivals: Rejistania, Vilita, The Lowland Clans
Favorite Professional Soccer team: Cednia Beach AFC
Stadium for Home Games in the qualifiers: Almintora National Stadium, Almintora (78,000)

Turori

11-02-2005, 02:11

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/tn/logo.gif

Kansu-Ramzi looks for Revenge against Homeland
Eels looking to escape Quater Final dungeon

------------------- Turori Eels head coach Mauritus Banda has included new Turorian phenom Jiateo Kansu-Ramzi in his lineup for the rematch against former World Champions Rejistania. The Eels have had much success in the past against Rejistania, stemming from a World Cup 17 Group Stage Victory; 1-0 over Rejistania, ending the Orange-Blues unbeaten streak and putting the Eels through to the finals for the first time. The Eels returned to the finals in World Cup 18, where they advanced to the Quarter Finals after a 2-0 victory over Liverpool England. Turori met up with Squornshelous, but were downed 3-1 in their first attempt.

--------------------The Eels returned to the Quarter Finals in World Cup 19, hosted in Turori, although they barely scraped into the second round on goal differential over World Cup 19 Super-Heroes Shonar Bangla. The second round saw a clash between the Eels and Tadjikistan, and the T's battled it out, with Turori clinching their second consecutive trip to the quarter finals. The Eels met up with Audioslavia, but were unable to topple the future world #1's, going out 1-0 to a dissapointed home crowd.

--------------------The Eels return once again to the Quarter Finals, and once again journalists are predicting for them to be stuck in the never-ending dungeon of the world cup Quarter Finals. However, with Jiateo Kansu-Ramzi bringing the secrets of the Rejistanian league with him, and having the experience of playing this same rejistanian side just days prior in the group stage. Eels fans are mildly excited about their chances of advancing to the Semi-Final for the first time in their history, and a potential clash of the century with Island-Neighbors and former colonial rulers Vilita, in what would be one of the biggest Semi-Final clashes in World Cup History.

GK :: Milauo Slietah ( 32 ) : Cednia Beach AFC
xD :: Maratima Tareak ( 20 ) : Wzkknfs Hnyd Pinks (MEL)
xD :: Jiateo Kansu-Ramzi ( 19 ) : Sen-La-Sa~o Relekhati (REJ) Rejistania
xD :: Marlian Hunial ( 32 ) : Strike (VIL)
xM :: Mika Sakatorra ( 27 ) : Jlinal Cove FC (VIL)
xM :: Malaino Mumamba ( 26 ) : Yeaddin Owls (VIL)
xM :: Cuolia Tuirma ( 31 ) : Marine Coast (VIL)
MF :: Martiia Rawaii ( 21 ) : Legalese City (LGL)
xF :: Jutar Ranaso ( 22 ) : O'Conner Greens (MEL)
xF :: Jualiar Vumaou ( 31 ) : Strike (VIL)
xF :: Akamoari Liano ( 32 ) : Yeaddin Owls (VIL)

GK :: Jarod Dreka ( 26 ) : Vecchio Victors (STR) Starblaydia
xD :: Raoibn Olioab ( 21 ) : Titania Forests (MEL)
xM :: Ugo Doohan ( 27 ) : Kionao Locals
DM :: Julio Matengo ( 21 ) : Turori Youth Academy Vilitan
MF :: Izzitra Bomai ( 25 ) : Wunokalsa Waridi
xM :: Martiia Vluka ( 20 ) : Ugiata Uglies (KZP)
xF :: Nikki Inostraza ( 26 ) : Jhanna United (STR) Starblaydia

----------------------------------------
RESULTS AND OTHER INFORMATION
----------------------------------------

All Turori matches to be played in Druida (Unless Otherwise Noted)

Turori::[4-1]-Cockbill Street
Turori::[3-1]- Lovisa
Turori::[0-1]-Rejistania
Turori::[1-0]- Spaam (AET)

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Ao1b(8 ............... OouYvaiVYaqkBWjwIIOB ............. 001092019726X9

Eauz

11-02-2005, 03:47

Damn Pressure Groups!

The World found out, that the problems going on in Eauz were due to something said to a diplomat of Raptor Claw. One of the extreme members of parliament had a few choice words against the nation of Raptor Claw. Eauz officials are very embarrassed by this moment, and many of them have wondered if Eauz should withdraw from the cup, in embarrassment. Eauz football officials have actually requested to the World Cup hosts, to let the nation of Vilita advance, due to Eauz withdrawal. World Cup officials have accepted the Eauz decision, but others have not. With pressure groups asking Eauz to stay in the cup, such as Vilita, Rejistania & Total n Utter Insanity, Eauz officials were rethinking if they should continue. After hours and hours in a private room, Eauz officials discussed this, and they concluded that due in part that many nations would rather see Eauz continue, Eauz will hope they will be accepted back, despite the embarrassment, and to continue in the cup.

After the agreement, Eauz players were happy to know they would continue to play in this cup. They will be forced though to overcome the embarrassment of the team, and a very strong team from Vilita. Vilitan fans in Druida though, are starting to create chants and signs which refer to Eauz as The Surrender Team. Once Starblaydi fan was quoted, saying “They are just like their colonial mother, always surrendering, and running away in fear, never actually achieving anything.” Nonetheless, tomorrow’s match will continue, with Eauz vs. Vilita. Fans are expected to be packing into the stadiums to see this match. Eauz will have to hope that their 18 games without a loss will come in handy, and provide them luck. Currently, in this whole cup, including the qualifying round, Eauz is 11 – 7 – 0 .

Melmond

11-02-2005, 05:06

Another Round of 16 Exit
Fearless Farmers Fall to Insancians 2-1 in Disastrous Fashion
By Henry Kalangalangalang of the Melmond City Herald

TABECK, STARBLAYDIA—The Melmond National Team were coming into the round of 16 with high hopes. They were to face off against Total n Utter Insanity, a side certainly seen as beatable in the eyes of most Melmondians as well as the national team itself. However, this was no gimmie as the Insancians are still one of the best teams in the world. Melmondians kind of had their pride at stake in this match as the Melmondian and Insancians newspapers jabbed each other back and forth about their writing styles. It was the poetic and superfluous Melmondians against the short yet irreverent Insancians. I suppose in fact those adjectives are the best ways to describe each side.
A beautiful day at Bekkside Stadium in Tabeck was the setting of this knockout out match, and it was the Fearless Farmers who would get early control of the match. Around the 22nd minute, Insancian defender &#@$ Berress kicked the ball out of bounds to deflect what would have been a sure fire goal from the foot of Melmond striker Gene MacDougall. A corner kick was taken. Melmond midfielder Martin Goodwin Jr. took the corner and the first header by Melmond striker Tim Remans was deflected away by Total n Utter Insanity goalkeeper Angus Sakablakabala. However, Melmond midfielder Pauline Hulme knocks the deflection in the net to give Melmond the 1-nil lead. Sakablakabala tosses the ball out of the net in disgust and in excitement of her goal, Hulme kicks the ball out of the stadium and into Bekk Lake. There is a Starblaydi footballing legend that if one kicks the ball into the lake, that they will have bad luck for the rest of the match. This certainly was the case for not only Pauline Hulme, but for the entire Melmond National Team as well.
A big blow happened for the Melmond National Team as the knee of Melmond defender Laola Saenu buckled in a tussle for position and she screamed in pain. It originally was thought to be an ACL tear, but fortunately it was only a severely sprained knee. However, with such an injury, she obviously could not continue on. Melmond replaces her with defender Maxwell Wong. Other than that, Melmond had held off the bad luck and the Insancians in the first half as they had the lead 1-nil.
However, in the second half, the curse reared its ugly head. It was first on an unlucky deflection where the Insancian striker was about to make a strong strike. The strike appeared to be wide of the net, but unfortunately for the Fearless Farmers, the head of Melmondian defender Notint Hecloset was in the way and deflected the ball into his own net. A total and utterly insane own goal which gave the equaliser to Total n Utter Insanity at the 53rd minute.
However, the goal that would put Total n Utter Insanity up for good had nothing to do with Melmondian bad luck, but rather Insancian skill. After a late tackle attempt by Melmondian defender Veronica Dean, Total n Utter Insanity earned a free kick a couple yards outside the goalkeeper’s box. Their defender &#@$ Berress, was given the opportunity for the free kick, mainly due to his experience against Melmondian competition, namely Unne Yellows goalkeeper Alex McCarthy while he played as a defender for the defending MPL champions Faasen Oranges. Berress’ kick was perfect as it had just enough height to get over the Melmondian wall and enough curve to baffle McCarthy and get into the net. Total n Utter Insanity would take the 2-1 lead at the 69th minute. Unfortunately for the Fearless Farmers, it was a lead that the Insancians would keep. Total n Utter Insanity moves on to face Squornshelous while Melmond can only look forward to World Cup 21 in Cockbill Street and Lethislavania.

Goals
Hulme, MEL 22nd
Hecloset, TUI (OG) 53rd
Berress, TUI 69th

Cards
Dean, MEL 69th

Standings

Other Round of 16 Results
Starblaydia 1 – Bedistan 1 (2-1 BED after extra time)
Audioslavia 2 – One Red Dot 0
Dance 2 Revolution 0 – Squornshelous 1
EL CID THE HERO 0 – Eauz 2
Vilita 3 – Iansisle 1
Crystilakere 1 – Rejistania 2
Turori 0 – Spaam 0 (1-0 TRI after extra time)

Quarterfinals Fixtures
Bedistan v Audioslavia
Total n Utter Insanity v Squornshelous
Eauz v Vilita
Rejistania v Turori

Team Stats
Goals: Gene MacDougall (1), Peeko Noodleschlausen (1), Tim Remans (1), Pauline Hulme (1)
Cards: Martin Goodwin Jr. (1), Veronica Dean (1)

Melmond World Cup Schedule (all in Starblaydia)

v Kaze Progressa (Iota “Big Eye” Stadium, Penning worth) W 2-0
v Dance 2 Revolution (Obsidian Palace, Bisarley) L 3-1
v Sarzonia (Obsidian Palace, Bisarley) T 0-0
v Total n Utter Insanity (Bekkside Stadium, Tabeck) L 2-1

Starblaydia

11-02-2005, 14:11

Druida Region QF scores have been IRCed, as everyone was on at the same time. Hurrah.

One Red Dot

11-02-2005, 15:37

To: Alvin Ker (President - aSWORD) <a_ker@asword.gov.rd>
From: Chris Gwee (WC Head Coach) <cgwee@cnfc.org.rd>
Subject: 2nd Round

Well, although we did superbly at the 1st round, I'm afraid we hit yet another barrier again. This time, we lost to Audioslavia 0-2. Sad, I know, but hey, at least we made it to the 2nd round.

I really thought we could have made it through! We beat Audioslavia when they were almost at their very best during the qualifying, and then their 1st round performances weren't very promising, I thought they'd be quite demoralised actually, compared to our joyous and confident spirits!

I assure you that we had played our very best, but maybe it still wasn't enough? The Audioslavian side seemed confident despite their slow start in their earlier matches.

We were first hit on the 26th when their strikers scored their first goals and then yet another on the 43rd. But thankfully, I'm glad we didn't give them any further chances in the 2nd half. We stepped up our play, but our shots weren't accurate enough.

After resorting to a computer simulation, I decided to do some substitutions to increase our chances at getting the goals but it wasn't enough, and maybe too late also.

We missed our chances this time, but the next time we will go to the quarterfinals.

Audioslavia

11-02-2005, 18:20

BEDISTUNNERS pt II

A little over a week after Audioslavia defeated Bedistan to get into the second round, the 'slaves did it again over the unlucky Bedistanis, snatching a one-goal win to send the 'slaves into their third semi-final in their history.

This semi-final will throw up the most exciting game in Audioslavian history. Why? Well since Lemmitania retired from international football, Audioslavia have had two main rivals; Squornshelous and Total 'n Utter Insanity, and the 'slaves will definately meet one of these two teams in the semis.

The Total 'n Utter Insanity - Squornshelous match will be worth watching tonight on Channel One precisely for this reason, as it adds an extra edge to what is already a needle game between two sides which have enjoyed a strong rivalry.

'Slavian fans will be split over which side they'd rather face. Half will want the 'slaves to play Total 'n Utter Insanity, partly because the 'slaves have a good record against the Insanicians (P4, W3, L1) and partly because the 'slaves were denied a would-be historic game against TnUI four years ago thanks to Crystilakere. They've denied us quite a bit recently haven't they? The Insanicians and the 'Slavians also share one of the bitterest rivalries in the world, let alone world football.

Other 'slavian fans will want the 'slaves to face Squornshelous, purely for purposes of revenge. Three of the four Audioslavia-Squornshelous matches that have been played down the years have been goal-fests, from Squornshelous's 4-0 and 4-1 demolitions of Audioslavia to the classic quarter final of World Cup 12 which saw the 'slaves get the better of their old foes in a 5-4 thriller. Unlike the TnUI/Slave rivalry, Audioslavia's dispute with Squornshelous is purely professional, and the 'slaves need to prove that they are twice the side Squornshelous are, were, or ever will be.

Its a brilliant situation to be in, getting ready for the game of your lives and all, but it wouldn't have happened without a professional performance against Bedistan.

We use the word 'professional' because it wasn't a brilliant match to watch at any rate. Both sides stifled any attacking play with aplomb in their first half through flooding of defences and niggling fouls. The half-time break came as a relief for a crowd who were watching possibly the dullest game of the round.

The second half saw the game free itself up a bit as the 'slaves finally got some service to their speedy wingers and pushed the midfield up more, whilst Bedistan's midfield finally started working to set their attackers through.

The first ten minutes of the second half threw up good chances for both teams. Bedistan got the first opportunity as the 'slaves defence failed to deal with a Xavier Parks cross which allowed striker Kyle Dean to dive in at the far post with a header. Luckily, stand-in goalie James Walsh was on hand to scoop the ball away from the near post. Dean also got his head on the resulting corner, but got too far underneath it and sent his second scoring opportunity over the bar.

The 'slaves then took their turn on the Bedistan goal, with Jussi Oskari having the best effort, meeting a loose ball with his right-foot and sending it goalwards from twenty-four yards. His superb curling effort left Reagan standing, but the ball rebounded off the inside of the post and the wrong side of the goal-line.

The two sides took it in turn to apply pressure to the others in what was beginning to turn into an ultra-watchable game. McLlroy hit the side netting with a near-post volley at one end, whilst at the other both Gordon and Washburn hit the woodwork. Gordon with his head, Washburn with the ball.

With the game moving so fast there was bound to be some controversy, and that came in the seventy-fourth minute. With a succession of quick passing Bedistan had pulled the defence apart, and Kyle Dean suddenly found himself through on the right hand side. Carel backtracked and went for the tackle but mis-timed it and sent the striker sprawling as Dean tried to skip round him. The Bedistanis vehemently appealed for a penalty but the man in black saw differently, awarding a corner-kick on the impression that Carel had knocked the ball away from Dean before Dean tripped over his outstretched leg, but video replays seemed to show Dean nipping round the defender and being up-ended as he carried the ball away from him. Nevertheless, despite the protests, the ref had made his decision.

What was already a tense game had now developed a real edge, and the Bedistanis and the Audioslavians tussled and jostled in the penalty area with more aggression than before. Gordon's cross was cleared by Arne Carel, who recieved an angry kick on the shin from Kyle Dean for his troubles. Tempers flared as the two squared up to each other, with many of the players getting involved. Greigs Johnstone was booked for allegedly pushing a Bedistani player to the ground (something which the referee saw, but none of the tv cameras did) whilst Wes Lipinski got away with what appeared to be a cheeky elbow into the side of 'slavian goalkeeper James Walsh's head.

From the re-start Bedistan again went on the offensive, but in their haste they lost the ball on the edge of the penalty area, and the 'slaves launched what would be the most lethal counter-attack of the game.

Aron Ceulemans launched all a ball over to the left wing for Arie Jansen. Pullman was there in waiting but misjudged the flight of the ball as it passed over the player's head and into the path of Jansen. Jansen was away down the left and there was absoloutely no stopping him as he skinned Greene and bore down on goal. With a first feint, and a second, the winger went to take it past the goalkeeper Nick Reagan, but Reagan wasn't having any of it and dived at Jansen's feet, dispossesing the winger but knocking the ball up and into the air with his arms. Wes Lipinski went up to clear with a header, but instead of knocking the ball to safety the defender instead tried to head it back upfield. This proved to be a big mistake as he only succeeded in finding Oran Crevan who, from thirty yards, dinked the ball into the gaping net just out of a scrambling Nick Reagan.

1-0 up with a quarter of an hour to go, the 'slaves gave up on attacking, taking striker Jorma Taavi off and replacing him with defender Exander Bannockburn. The 4-5-1 system proved an adequate antedote do Bedistan's ultra-attacking 3-4-3 and the 'slaves looked adept at containing the subsequent Bedistani attacks.

With time running out, Bedistan made two attacking substitutions and went for broke. Dean had a driving long-distance effort tipped over the bar by Walsh, whilst substitute Darren Morlock almost got the equaliser with a zipping shot which just curled away past the right-hand post.

It looked like Audioslavia would hang on, but after four and a half minutes of extra time Bedistan broke through.

Morlock and Carpenter combined well to pass the ball round Aron Ceulemans before Carpenter, with an absoloutely divine piece of skill, pulled the ball away from Johnstone, flicked the ball in the air with the outside of her foot and, with her heel, flicked it over the centre-half's head and nipped round him. Carpenter dragged the ball sideways to evade Carel's desperate lunge and, in a flash, snapped a shot past a hopeless James Walsh. It looked for all the world like one of the greatest goals ever scored and it was, but the assistant referee didn't see it that way. The ball cannoned off the underside of the bar and bounced over, on, or near the line. Television replays seemed to support the former conclusion, but the Ariddian linesman disagreed and refused to wave his flag. Oran Crevan cleared the ball away and the referee blew for full-time.

Thus, the match finished in absoloute disarray as the Bedistani players hassled the referee to within an inch of his life. The furious Bedistani manager, and even the coaching staff, stormed the field and brief melees followed between NSWCC officials, Audioslavian footballers and Bedistani players. The Starblaydi police were even making themselves known, herding an increasingly angry Bedistan crowd out of the ground to try and quell any rioting. Audioslavian fans were kept in the stadium for 45 minutes to prevent any conflict. Bedistan's football team, begrudgingly, left the field ten minutes after the full-time whistle after the referee had the police escort him off the field. The 'slave team, having left as soon as possible after the whislte, came back on the field to try and console the unconsoleable. Jackie McLlroy was heard as saying 'you would have got knocked out in the semis anyway' and was given a slap for his troubles.

An unsatisfying end for both sides, but the result stands.

AUDIOSLAVIA 1 (Crevan 77)
BEDISTAN 0

|| Second round ||| Quarter-finals ||| Semi-finals ||| Final ||

Starblaydia (18)----|
| Bedistan (17)--------------|
Bedistan (17)-------| |
|Audioslavia (2)---|
Audioslavia (2)-----| | |
| Audioslavia (2)------------| |
One Red Dot (19)----| |
|---------
TnUI (4)------------| |
| Total n Utter Insanity (5)-| |
Melmond (10)--------| | |
|------------------|
D2R (1)-------------| |
| Squornshelous (14)---------|
Squornshelous (14)--|

EL CID THE HERO (16)-------|
| Eauz (13)-----------|
Eauz (13)------------------| |
|------------------|
Vilita (6)-----------------| | |
| Vilita (6)----------| |
Iansisle (11)--------------| |
|---------
Crystilakere (3)-----------| |
| Rejistania (5)------| |
Rejistania (5)-------------| | |
|------------------|
Turori (8)-----------------| |
| Turori (8)----------|
Spaam (46)-----------------|
G'nite bitches.

Vilita

11-02-2005, 20:58

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/vgr.gif

Neighbors Crash out To Rejistania
Eels held once again prisoners of the Quarter Final Dungeon

-------------About 750 Million Vilitans surrounded the streets in Druida anticipating the matchup between Rejistania and Turori, hoping to see their Rivals suceed in hopes of a Semi-Final derby between the two Cove Nations. The match took place hours before the Televised derby between Vilita and Eauz, and the town in which the match was too be played had to be locked down due to over-capacity, so millions of Vilitans were left to settle for the Rejistania match.

-------------The match itself was dissapointing, with the Eels falling to another 1-0 defeat to the Karela-Laden Orange-Blues. Jiateo Kansu-Ramzi, native to Rejistania but Nationalized through Turori, showed signs of future brilliance for the Eels, including a 20 yard strike that bounced back off the crossbar, that would have given Turori a 1-0 lead.

-------------Vilitan fans on hand were saddened to learn post-match that Jungle Strike FC defender Marlian Hunial had played his last international match. The longtime Vilita-based Turorian defender called it quits after being nearly ever-present for the Turori National Team since their inagural tournament, the Pre-World Cup 15 Baptism of Fire Cup. Odds of Turori making the Quarter Finals yet again in World Cup 21: 1:1000. So yea, if you bet $1000 on the Eels making the QF next cup, you will make a net profit of $1 should the bet win. However, Odds for Turori to advance beyond the Quarter-Final are 1000000000000000000000:1, so dip your pennies in your local Bidding Office if you want to gamble on the chance to be a billionaire.

|| Second round ||| Quarter-finals ||| Semi-finals ||| Final ||

Starblaydia (18)----|
| Bedistan (17)--------------|
Bedistan (17)-------| |
|Audioslavia (2)---|
Audioslavia (2)-----| | |
| Audioslavia (2)------------| |
One Red Dot (19)----| |
|---------
TnUI (4)------------| |
| Total n Utter Insanity (5)-| |
Melmond (10)--------| | |
|------------------|
D2R (1)-------------| |
| Squornshelous (14)---------|
Squornshelous (14)--|

EL CID THE HERO (16)-------|
| Eauz (13)-----------|
Eauz (13)------------------| |
|------------------|
Vilita (6)-----------------| | |
| Vilita (6)----------| |
Iansisle (11)--------------| |
|---------
Crystilakere (3)-----------| |
| Rejistania (5)------| |
Rejistania (5)-------------| | |
| Rejistania (5)------|
Turori (8)-----------------| |
| Turori (8)----------|
Spaam (46)-----------------|

Squornshelous

12-02-2005, 01:43

One for the Ages

Squornshelous and TnUI finish late
The game between rivals Squornshelous and Total n Utter Insanity, a rematch of the final game of the group stage, which the Pschychoes won 2-0, has gone into penalty kicks to determine a winner. The game was tied 1-1 after the first 90 minutes, and even after 30 additional minutes of play, neither team could add to their score.
The scoring started early in the second half. After a stellar 45 minutes by both defenses, the Insanicians struck first. (Midfielder), put the ball through the midfield to (attacker), who turned quickly and made a move to get past Ole Eriksson. Sven Eriksson was over to support within a few seconds, but (attacker) found (midfielder) running forward into the spot where Sven had just been. Hank Darwin couldn't run in from the outside fast enough and (midfielder) had a clear shot on goal, which he put away in the corner of the net, leaving Lenny Speer sprawling. This goal was greeted by a huge roar from the Insanician fans in the stadium, and definitely boosted their teams confidence. However, Squornshelous kept their heads and answered with a goal of their own in the 61st. Craig Snell stole a sloppy pass near midfield and passed the ball ahead to Kenny Washington, who was already running upfield. Washington tapped the ball into the middle for Jako Arnesson, who sent it right back down the line for Washington again. Washington met the ball in the corner and sent it curling into the box. (keeper) leaped up to punch it out, but misjudged his jump, and the ball sailed past him. However, it almost passed out of danger, as Alexander Popov had been expecting (keeper) to clear it and wasn't in position to make a play. Trevor Gerrard was though, he waited at the far side of the box and sent the ball sailing lazily into the net, while (keeper) sprinted in a frantic attempt to get back into position. The Insanicians almost won the game though. In the 89th minute, (attacker) sent a ball on goal from far out. It was off target but the unusual spin on it sent it bouncing out of Speer's hands and out of bounds off the goalpost. On the ensuing corner, TnUI almost put it away again, with (midfielder)'s header passing just over the crossbar. Speer let some time tick away as he set up for the goal kick, and the ref sounded the whistle for the end of regular time a few seconds after it was trapped near midfield.
Extra time started on a defensive note, with neither team wanting to give away the goal. Eventually though, both teams became more aggressive, not wanting to have to go to PK's. In the 104th minute, Trevor Gerrard fired a ball that smacked into the side of the net. The Insanicians sent another off the post in the 112th. Jako Arnesson's 120th minute shot went off the inside of the left post and rolled across the goal mouth nearly to the other post, where (keeper) pounced on it. Like Speer had done at the end of regular time, (keeper) held the ball as long as possible and the whistle for PK's sounded just as his kick struck the ground.

[b]Score AET:
Squornshelous 1-1 Total n Utter Insanity

Scoring Summary:
TnUI: (midfielder) [48]
SQ: Gerrard [61]

More to come from TnUI later!

Total n Utter Insanity

12-02-2005, 12:30

**TnUI Dressing Room after Extra Time**

The assistant coach is giving a pep talk to 20 players, who are all enjoying the Starblaydian custom of tea and crumpets before a penalty shootout.

Mark Marmark: Guys we can do this, we just need to focus on the task in hand. Clear you minds of everything else; forget we will have to play Audioslavia next.

Dally Whoops: Let’s kick some ass!

Rest of Team: Yeah!

12 men in black hoods enter the room.

Dally Whoops: Who the fuck are you?

Lead Hoodlum: This is where it ends.

**Bekkside Stadium**

The fighting could be heard all the way to the stadium, were it not for the loud cheering crowd enjoying the scantily clad cheerleaders going through one of their various routines.

**TnUI Dressing Room aftermath**

All 21 men are lying on the floor, 42 broken legs. The coach, James Belless, Kev Leafblower and Llllllllllcwllllllll Pinto enter the room.

Wally Walker: WHAT THE SLANI HELL?!?!?

Mark Marmark: Some guys came and broke our legs, GIVE ME MORPHINE!

Wally Walker: Suck it up, that goes for all of you, we have a penalty shootout to win.

**Bekkside Stadium**

Commentator 1: James Belless easily puts it in the back of the net to tie things at 1-1.

Commentator 2: Squorn make it 2-1. In an interesting turn, TnUI are having their 3rd choice goalkeeper Kev Leafblower take the next penalty.

Commentator 1: Powered straight into the top corner. Squorn make it 3-2, seems the TnUI goalkeeper is having trouble standing, let alone diving.

Commentator 2: Next up for TnUI, Llllllllllcwllllllll Pinto. What an odd name.

Commentator 1: Indeed, this young man is only 17 years old. A lot of pressure for an inexperienced, fourth choice defender. He shoots, he…saved.

Commentator 2: Squorn get this and they are on their way to the semifinal.

**Fade to Black**

You can guess the rest

**Secret Hideout**

Lead Hoodlum: It’s done boss.

Hooded Boss: Excellent, eh?

Lead Hoodlum: Eh?

Hooded Boss: Eh, eh?

Lead Hoodlum: It’s done boss.

Hooded Boss: I know you just told me, eh?

Lead Hoodlum: Why did we have to stop TnUI meeting AS in the Knockout Rounds of the World Cup.

Hooded Boss: The same reason we stopped them 4 years ago, eh?

**Fade to Black**

Trust us, this conversation goes on way too long, eh?

To Be Continued…Sometime in the future.

Rejistania

12-02-2005, 13:27

Revenge can be sweet

The Orange-Blues defeated Turori in the quarterfinal match with the same scoreline as in the the last match in group stage: 1:0. The Orange-Blue fans considered these two matches a good revenge for two embarrassing qualifiers matches for World Cup 17. Next opponent for the Orange-Blues is another team, which players sound as if they are from central Rejistania, more exact from Hadi Hito: Vilita, exactly the nation, from which Turori is a colony. Vilita will get more fan support since nearly the entire Vilitan population is in Druida. It is rumoured that the rejistanian armed forces plan to invade the nearly depopulated Vilita in case of a loss, but of course, that is only a rumour since the rejistani army has the disadvantage of not existing.

In the Turorian team played a half-rejistanian: defender Jiateo Kansu-Ramzi. The Vilitan press said he "showed signs of future brilliance for the Eels", despite that, he never made it to the first team of Sen-La-Sa~o Relekahti (SLS R). He normally plays in H3SR matches for the second team of SLS R.

The match was another excellent example of System Karela, the favorite tactic of the Hexatux. Both teams had not many chances in the match. The Eels' best chance was a distance shot from Kansu-Ramzi'he. The Orange-Blues had two counter attacks in the entire match. One of them was successfull: Salakerijasamenatira "Sa" Harakemindanutikejil was able to outsmart the turori defense and his shot went past goalie Milauo Slietah. The druidan stadium speaker had no problems at all with pronouncing the name of the scorer. He has enough experience with Mock Welsh to know even longer words. When the match ended, Rejistania began celebrating its 6th appearance in the semifinals.

The score
Rejistania 1 (Harakemindanutikejil 35th)
Turori 0

Vilita

12-02-2005, 14:14

:: Vilita Government Announcement ::

Pre-WC21 BoF Thread:: http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=397065

Rejistania

13-02-2005, 12:33

At a Rejistanian dentist on the day of the semifinal:

Doctor: Please, scream as loud as you can, as if in pure horror and pain.
Patient: But why? There are a lot of people waiting...
Doctor: I know that there are. But in half an hour the semifinal match between the Orange-Blues and Vilita starts and I want to watch it.
Patient: Okay *screams*

Starblaydia

13-02-2005, 13:20

The Druida Semi-Final has been IRCd to both parties, with much tension involved

Vilita

13-02-2005, 13:58

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Orange-Blues take Half Time lead
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First Half Goalscorers::
07' Jentu Minikse
34' Syku Lyku
43' Callum Banda

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-------------------The teams entered the field to much jubilation from the fans in the CheminduStadium in Graymouth, Druida. Over 100,000 fans are said to have filled the stands of the 72,000 seater stadium, with hundreds of thousands of Vilitans climbing atop each other like ants in a builders pyramid outside the stadium just to get a glimpse of their team in action.

-------------------However, those that saw the early action could not have been too impressed. The Orange-Blues of Rejistania looked much more comfortable in the CheminduStadium, having played two of their three group stage matches in the same stadium in western Druida. Jentu Minikse found himself in space and found the far left hand corner of Jimmy Katers net to give Rejistania a quick 1-0 lead. Minikse wheeled away to celebrate, just as one of the towers of anxious Vilitan supporters began to lean. Apparently, someone near the bottom got an itch. 25,000 Vilitans fell onto the pitch and the match had to be paused. As the Vilitans left the field in as quick as 25,000 people could exit a football pitch through a tiny tunnel leading to the outside, Rejistanian operator Siki Rej began to look worried. He counted 781 Vilitans, and just 10 Rejistanians on the pitch.

-------------------While many of the Vilitans exited directly out of the stadium, it is believed that some 10-15,000 settled in amongst the fans in the stands, putting an even greater load on the CheminduStadium, slated only to hold 72,000 and now feeling the pressure of some 115,000. As the final Vilitans exited the pitch, it became clear something was wrong. The 11 Jungle Cats were all there. But there were just 10 Orange-Blues. Hexatux decided there was no choice but to replace the missing player immediately, as the referee was very anxious to get the game restarted. So Siki Rej signalled for Syku Lyku to get on the field and get the game on its way.

-------------------The game resumed in the 30th minute, and Rejistania looked unphased by the melee. Despite having a defensive heritage, the Orange-Blues were pressuring the Jungle Cats and it looked only a matter of time before they doubled their lead. The goal came and it was Syku Lyku who headed in the cross from Kvansa Laijiyiaya. Laijiyiaya had been very effective from midfield, and SyDe's exciting pace was a deadly weapon up front. 10 minutes later, with half-time fast approaching, Syku Lyku looked to have the chance to extend the Orange-Blues lead to three, but it was Vilitan defender Andrea Lamberti, the lame duck of World Cup 19, clearing off the line with a mythical scissor kick. As if Lamberti had the foot of a higher being, the resultant clearance fell brilliantly to the feet of Callum Banda at the edge of the center circle, and the Vilitan All-Time top scorer began a locomotive chase one on one with Syly Kansu. Banda's crafty foot work juked Kansu, and left Banda with only the keeper to beat. Banda, who scored the First senior goal in Vilitan history, had now scored the first Semi-Final goal in Vilitan history, side stepping to send Menik Hisda wrong footed before switching back and cooly rolling the ball into the back of the net. The resulting roar was deafening, with word of Banda's goal quickly reaching some 2.15 Billion Vilitans up to 15 miles away in a simultaneous eruption of excitement that caused damage to some surrounding buildings and is responsible for downing one aircraft, ironically a craft being tested by the Vilitan government after it's delivery from Jay Industries in Falcania. The teams went into the tunnel at half time with Rejistania holding on to a 2-1 advantage.

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Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Jimmy Kater, [D] Jaloey Afrikka, [D] Andrea Lamberti, [D] Ricky Ezis, [DMC] Jürgen Ramzi, [ML] Santo Kecker, [MC] Inaki Soler, [MC] Antonis Siazzu, [MR] Tanner Nerni, [FC] Riccardo Appolloni, [FC] Callum Banda,
BENCH::
[FC] Serge DuPont, [FC] Mauro Baraza, [M] Jacques Vintila, [M] Maurizio Sala, [U] Calaesa Mitaroka, [D] Sibusiso Azaïez, [GK] Bryan 'Pop' Duiker,

Druida

13-02-2005, 15:21

President Smith: "Why are we in an empty stadium?"

Unnamed helper: "Well, it's a precautionary measure, sir."

President Smith: "Precautionary? Why?"

Unnamed helper: "Well, if Vilita make the final, the chances are that they'll crowd Mawr, so then we'd struggle to make it here to The Hole."

President Smith: "But the final isn't for another few days."

Unnamed helper: "Have you seen how many of them there is?"

President Smith: "Fair enough. But why do we have to be here anyway?"

Unnamed helper: "Becuase you're part of the presentation ceremony."

President Smith: "I am?"

Unnamed helper: "Yes. You'll be giving out the losers medals, while someone from Starblaydia will be here to give out the winners medals and the cup."

President Smith: "And, just if the place is swarming with Vilitans, how exactly will they get in?"

Unnamed helper: "Dunno. Helicopter probably."

President Smith: "Oh. So... why didn't we do that?"

Unnamed helper: "Shhhh! Audioslavia v Squornshelous is on in a minute, I wanna watch it on TV."

Vilita

13-02-2005, 15:56

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Jungle Cats hold Orange-Blues to Extra Time
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Second Half Goalscorers::
72' Riccardo Appolloni
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-------------------Head coach Helmut Vilkaus was pleased with Callum Banda's late goal, but still had a few choice words for his side as they entered the dressing room at half time. His speech said something about how there were 2 Billion Vilitans outside, and if the team lost it was unlikely that anyone would make it out of the stadium alive. That seemed to fire the players up, but young Inaki Soler said something wise about how he wasn't able to get any space against the Rejistanian defense. Vilkaus said something along the lines of "Fine, then we'll put someone in who can." Jacques Vintila raised his hand emphatically and replaced Soler on midfield. Vilkaus then pulled Jürgen Ramzi aside. The Defensive Midfielder, the most capped player in Vilitan history, is widely believed to be retiring at the conclusion of World Cup 20. The two patted each other on the shoulder, and Ramzi walked over to budding Marine Coast United midfielder and known set piece expert Maurizio Sala. Sala then took off his jump suit and gave his laces an extra tug. He would be going in for the great Jurgen Ramzi in what could be Ramzi's final game. He didn't want to see his idol go out like that, he knew he had to get his team back in the game.

-------------------Despite the changes, it was Rejistania who once again came out looking the better team. The Orange-Blues again came close to extending their lead, but once again it was the intervention of the re-born Andrea Lamberti that saved the Vilitan World Cup Final dream. Lamberti's improvement in skill was evident from the last cup, where it was he who was responsible for giving away the penalty that eventually knocked the Jungle Cats out of World Cup 19. Lamberti was contributing, not only on defence, but set up the rare Vilitan attack with his long balls through the middle, feeding Sala and Tanner Nerni who found some space to run on the right.

-------------------With an hour gone, the match became more of a Stalement, with Lamberti and Ricky Ezis looking unbeatable in defense for the Vilitans, but the Rejistanian Karela system was well into affect and the Orange-Blues looked equally impressive. With just twenty minutes to play, Maurizio Sala had a brilliant free kick from 25 yards out that the Rejistanian goalkeeper was barely able to get a hand on to send just around the left hand post and out for a Vilitan Corner Kick. It was only the Vilitan's second shot registered on target for the match, and time was running out for them to get something done. Santo Kecker stepped up to deliver the corner, and the ball floated in powerfully. Hundreds of thousands of Vilitans watched with the utmost anxiety as Riccardo Appolloni darted around his marker. There was no place this ball was going other than Riccardo Appolloni's head! It was one of Keckers trademark Corner's that seem unstoppable by anyone other than his target striker. As the ball flew into the back of the net, and the Rejistanian's fell to their kneees, the momentary silence turned into an experience that may have never been felt before. The ground shook so vilently that millions of Vilitans were being tossed around like popcorn outside the stadium, soley from the vibrations of the earth below them. One Vilitan sadly perished after being popped 120,000 feet into the air, where he was hit by a second Falcanian Prototype plane being tested by the Government. The Vilitan surprisingly survived the impact from the plane, but was eaten by angry dwarves when the pilot was forced to crash-land in Starblaydi territory.

-------------------The crowds settled in for the final minutes of the match, but a defensive expose by both sides saw a stalement with the ball rarely straying 15 yards from the center circle. As the referee blew for the end of normal time with the score knotted at 2-2, The Vilitan faithful applauded there teams effort, fighting back from an early deficit to take the game to extra time, and possible just half an hour away from a place in the World Cup Finals.

Normal Time Analysis:

Vilita

Best Player: Andrea Lamberti
Worst Player: Antonis Siazzu
Shots on Target: 3
Corner Kicks: 4

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Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Jimmy Kater, [D] Jaloey Afrikka, [D] Andrea Lamberti, [D] Ricky Ezis, [DMC] Jürgen Ramzi, [ML] Santo Kecker, [MC] Inaki Soler, [MC] Antonis Siazzu, [MR] Tanner Nerni, [FC] Riccardo Appolloni, [FC] Callum Banda,
BENCH::
[FC] Serge DuPont, [FC] Mauro Baraza, [M] Jacques Vintila, [M] Maurizio Sala, [U] Calaesa Mitaroka, [D] Sibusiso Azaïez, [GK] Bryan 'Pop' Duiker,

Vilita Substitutions::
(45) - Inaki Soler >>> Jacques Vintila
(45) - Jürgen Ramzi >>> Maurizio Sala

|| Second round ||| Quarter-finals ||| Semi-finals ||| Final ||

Starblaydia (18)----|
| Bedistan (17)--------------|
Bedistan (17)-------| |
|Audioslavia (2)---|
Audioslavia (2)-----| | |
| Audioslavia (2)------------| |
One Red Dot (19)----| |
|---------
TnUI (4)------------| |
| Total n Utter Insanity (5)-| |
Melmond (10)--------| | |
|Squornshelous (14)|
D2R (1)-------------| |
| Squornshelous (14)---------|
Squornshelous (14)--|

EL CID THE HERO (16)-------|
| Eauz (13)-----------|
Eauz (13)------------------| |
|Vilita (6)--------|
Vilita (6)-----------------| | |
| Vilita (6)----------| |
Iansisle (11)--------------| |
|---------
Crystilakere (3)-----------| |
| Rejistania (5)------| |
Rejistania (5)-------------| | |
| Rejistania (5)---|
Turori (8)-----------------| |
| Turori (8)----------|
Spaam (46)-----------------|

Audioslavia

13-02-2005, 19:23

SQUORINATED!
Audioslavia-Squornshelous Star in one of the World Cup's All-Time Great Matches

Eight goals, three red cards, two last-minute goals and a partridge in a pear tree made the semi-final of World Cup 20 one of the most memorable ever.

It all started on a calm morning in Starblaydia. The trees were singing, the birds were swaying, all was quiet except for a mouse. And then came the realisation. Today was the day of the semi-final. Audioslavia vs Squornshelous in one of the most talked-about matches in football history.

Squornshelous's four-goal annihilation of Audioslavia, way back in World Cup 5, is still talked about today. As is Audioslavia's epic 5-4 win over Squornshelous back in World Cup 12. Since then, the two sides have played out a nil-nil draw, and Squornshelous have defeated the 'slaves 4-1. Such is the rivalry between the two teams, the match enticed more than twice the viewers to TV screens as the Vilita-Rejistania match, although admittedly thats mostly because the majority of Vilita's population is currently based in Druida.

The 'slaves, in their change strip of sky-blue and white, met the red and black of Squornshelous in the dusky twighlight hours of a Starblaydian day. The floodlights introduced themselves just four minutes before the game, seemingly setting the scene for something special.

However, what followed for the first fourty-five minutes was not so dramatic. The first half was littered with fouls and bookings as both sides sought to gain some kind of advantage over the other.

In a scrappy half, Johnstone, Crevan and Dannes were booked for petty offences, whilst Snell and Darwin picked up yellow cards for the Pschychoes.

With little or no incidents, the first half closed and the second half began. The aggressive play was still in tact, as Darwin narrowly avoided getting sent off after a paticularly cruel challenge on Arie Jansen, but finally the two sides looked intent on scoring goals.

Jackie McLlroy got the 'slaves first chance on fifty-four minutes, pouncing on a Jansen through-ball but placing his shot wide of the upright. Then came Squornshelous's turn to shine, beating the 'slaves back into their own half and hitting the wood-work twice, first through Popov, then through Arnesson.

The breakthrough finally came on sixty-three minutes, in the Pschychoes favour, as Alexander Popov connected to a cross a diverted a header past Andersson for 1-0. Squornshelous were dictating the game and looking likely to extend their jinx on the 'slaves, and it almost happened too for Scott Neese, but the winger hit his shot high and wide from ten yards when he really should have scored.

The lucky break gave the 'slaves a boost as they started playing proper attacking football, and for the first time since the first half of qualifying, they actually looked like a world-beating side, searching for the equaliser by playing superb football. A goal surely had to be scored, and it did on seventy-seven minutes through a superb passing move, finished off by a cheeky lob from Oliver Dannes.

Five minutes later the 'slaves looked like they'd wrapped the game up after a neat interchange between Oskari and Dannes let McLlroy through to finish past Lenny Speer.

However, the Pschychoes weren't done, and Korolev threw on striker Jerald Nelson for midfielder Craig Snell in a last ditch effort to save the match.

With time ticking away, the Pschychoes were getting closer and closer to that elusive scoring oppotunity when Gerrard and Nelson played a one-two outside the area. Gerrard feinted a pass from the return and instead skinned Arne Carel out of his shorts and bore down on goal, but as he went to shoot, Greigs Johnstone slid in and upended the striker.

There were no disputes. Johnstone was sent-off for his second bookable offense, and Squornshelous had a penalty on the stroke of 90 minutes. Gerrard pulled himself up, dusted himself down, and struck the ball to Andersson's right for 2-2.

Both sides pulled up during injury time, waiting for extra-time to come around, which it duly did after three more minutes of stalemate. Like the quarter-final of World Cup 12, this match would go down to extra-time.

If the end of the second half was anything to go by, then both sides would be reluctant to attack for fear of giving away a goal. It seemed that way for a cautious five minutes, but then everything, everywhere, was goals.

Squornshelous took the initiative with a beautifully worked move which sent Popov through on his own against Peter Andersson. The striker wasted no time in slipping the ball under the goalkeeper for 3-2.

The 'slaves got back into the game sixty seconds later. A hoofed clearance from Aron Ceulemans bounced over Washington's head as he went to claim it in the air. Watching the ball bounce behind the midfielder, Jussi Oskari pounced on it and from fully thirty-five yards, decided to smack the ball as hard as he could. The ball jinked and swerved at a hell of a pace and left Speer helpless as it hit the top of the right-hand post and bounced in.

3-3, and things werent over yet.

The 'slaves kept coming and kept making oppotunities, and this time Squornshelous looked like they had no answer. Jansen's pace and McLlroy's finishing skills led to the 'slaves taking the lead for the second time in the game as Jansen outpaced Green down the left and squared the ball for the number nine to score.

The 'slaves were holding up well for a side with ten men, but that defensive frailty would allow Squornshelous to come back into the game with a series of long balls which Audioslavia's stretched defence could not deal with.

Squornshelous almost made it 4-4 with one such pass. Ceulemans' attempt at a defensive header had backfired and had given Nelson the ball thirty yards out with Popov to his right and Gerrard to his left. A quick pass to Gerrard sent the striker through to a one-on-one with the goalkeeper. Gerrard jiggled and jinked his way round Andersson, but with a desperate lunge, the goalkeeper knocked Gerrard down. Another penalty, another sending off for Audioslavia as goalkeeper Andersson was given his marching orders.

Goalie James Walsh was brought on for striker Oliver Dannes, and so the 22-yaear old goalkeeper was given the biggest test of his lif. Should the Pschychoes score the penalty, the 'slaves would really be on the back foot with just nine men, but Popov's effort hit the foot of the post to a collective sigh of relief from the 'slavian faithful. Still 4-3 up, the whistle blew for the first half of extra time.

Squornshelous dominated proceedings during the second period. Trevor Gerrard missed a long range effort and then saw a volley ricochet off the post. Then with ten minutes left, he had the greatest oppotunity of all to score. A corner by Washington had been completely missed by Walsh, still nervous in goal. Ceulemans duly let the ball fly past him to Gerrard who was waiting at the back post.

With an open goal and no-one around him, Trevor Gerrard should have scored, but instead sliced the ball agonisingly over the bar.

The miss proved costly. Walsh restarted the game with a short goal-kick to Carel. Carel knocked it up to Jansen, who skipped past Neese on the wing, played a wall pass off of Oran Crevan, and then sent over a killer ball to McLlroy, the lone striker after Dannes' substitution.

McLlroy laid the ball off for Jussi Oskari, but was then cruelly brough down from behind by a back-tracking Hank Darwin. There was no questioning the guilty party as Darwin was sent off for a second bookable offense.

With twenty-nine minutes registering on the clock, the 'slaves just needed to pass the ball down the wing and run the time down. The free-kick taker Karayan Araxie however, had other ideas. Araxie took the kick quickly with the goalkeeper off his line arranging his defensive wall. Caught unawares, Speer watched the ball helplessly as it dipped over him, only saved from his blushes from the cross bar. Speer was not to be spared for long however, as a goalmouth scramble ensued. Ole Erikson tried to clear but only found Jackie McLlroy's chest. The ball ricocheted between Erikspn's brother Sven's shoulder-blades before settling for Arie Jansen, who simply smashed the ball clean into the middle of the goal.

The final whislte sounded and accompanied the delirious yells of the Audioslavian faithful. They'd done it again for the second time in two world cups. Audioslavia were in the final.

FINAL SCORE
AUDIOSLAVIA 5-3 SQUORNSHELOUS
Dannes 77 63 Popov
McLlroy 83 90 Gerrard
Oskari 103 102 Popov
McLlroy 104
Jansen 119

Druida

14-02-2005, 13:22

President Smith: "It's... um... it's not very busy, is it?"

Unnamed helper: "What isn't?"

President Smith: "The stadium."

Unnamed helper: "Well, it wouldn't be. The match doesn't kick off for four days."

President Smith: "I thought you were watching it?"

Unnamed helper: "No, I was watching Audioslavia v Squornshelous."

President Smith: "But I haven't seen it."

Unnamed helper: "That's because it wasn't here, it was in Starblaydia."

President Smith: "So how come you've seen it?"

Unnamed helper: "They filmed it. With the Magical Camera of RP."

President Smith: "Oh."

Unnamed helper: "Vilita v Rejistania is on now, just going into extra time."

President Smith: "Ah. And we're here because we couldn't get into Graymouth, right?"

Unnamed helper: "Right!"

Presidnet Smith: "Still, isn't much to do, eh?"

Unnamed helper: "Well, we'll need to close the roof. Just in case there is a Vilitan invasion, we'll have to close The Hole in in case anybody falls down it."

President Smith: "Good idea. Um... can I just ask you something?"

Unnamed helper: "Sure. Go ahead."

President Smith: "You know that cuppy thing that was sat next to us?"

Unnamed helper: "Yes?"

President Smith: "Well..."

Unnamed helper: "Well?"

President Smith: "Well..."

Unnamed helper: "Well what?"

President Smith: "Well... now it... it isn't."

Unnamed helper: "It isn't what?"

President Smith: "It isn't sat next to us."

Unnamed helper: "What? You mean you've lost the World Cup! The actual real World Cup!!!"

Presidnet Smith: "Well, I wouldn't say that I've lost it, more that I don't know where it is."

Unnamed helper: "Sir, as President of the Final-hosting Nation, it is your responsibility... no, duty, to look after the World Cup."

President Smith: "It is?"

Unnamed helper: "Well... yes."

President Smith: "But I usually give all my responsibilities to you."

Unnamed helper: "I know. But you're the one accountable for it."

President Smith: "We're in trouble, aren't we?"

*Unnamed helper nods slowly.*

President Smith: "Oh, ****!"

Rejistania

14-02-2005, 13:57

ST: Hejida listeners, after that music, we are back here at 'live from the cup', our World Cup edition of 'live from the leagues'. For us in Starblaydia is still Kansu Siki.

KS: And for us in KaMaRi kali is the proof that men can live without brain, Sirake Tekim! I am in Druida!

ST: But the match...

KS: ...takes place there!

ST: Oh, you see how much I am excited... messing that up...

KS: indeed, excited - or FUBAR...

ST: WHAT?

KS: (*silence*)ed up beyond any reason.

ST: Kansu, can I remind you that I have more seniority than you?

KS: Sirake, can I remind you that style goes before age?

ST: Talk about the match, please!

KS: Why should I? It did not start yet. But okay, I don't want to say that the referee is bribed... but I think he is ... democratic.

ST: democratic?

KS: Obeys the majority...

ST: You mean intimidated by the slightly higher than normal amount of Vilitan fans?

KS: Yes. He misdecided quite often.

ST: "misdecided" is no English word!

KS: But it should be one! But okay, are you satisfied when I say "decided wrongly"?

ST: Yes.

KS: The extra-time of Rejistania-Vilita starts now!

(102nd minute)
KS: The match is still somehow reminding of Kalisimu Salan playing I Jesejil Lines, both teams are afraid of taking any risks... JIIIIEEEEEEEE!

ST: What happened?

KS: "Sa" is back!

ST: What?

KS: Salakerijasamenatira "Sa" Harakemindanutikejil, he disappeared in the field invasion of the Vilitans... SyDe was substituted in for him.

ST: Ah, the one, who every stadium speaker hates with passion.

KS: No... Seleke stadium speaker like him.

ST: That is because they can pronounce him.

KS: Well, Seleken writing is a very difficult form of encryption. It has no similarity to the spoken word at all.

ST: Well, if any seleke is listening, please call the hotline and tell me how "Sa"'s name is pronounced!

KS: Oh... chance for Vilita... the referee awards a free kick after a situation, which I could not really see from here... Callum Banda shoots... jie! "Sasi" reached the ball and headed it somewhere. the situation is over.

(later)
ST: Yes! I just got a message that the pledge to find a seleken who can pronounce the name of "Sa" was heard, we have a caller... Hejida!

Caller: Hejida Tekim'he! I'm <fast series of sounds, totally incomprehensible>!

ST: I assume you are seleke?

Caller: (strange accent) jes, Y jem selekei

ST: Can you tell me how "Sa" is pronounced?

Caller: Jes (pause)

ST: Well, go ahead, do so!

Caller: <fast series of sounds, totally incomprehensible and not related to "Sa"'s written name>, hadada su?

ST: No, I did not understand, can you repeat it and say it a bit slower?

Caller: <still fast series of sounds, totally incomprehensible and not related to "Sa"'s written name>, iveter is?

ST: not really better, but I think we had an idea now!

(after Extra time)
KS: The tension is rising here, 120 minutes of match did not result in a result, time for penalty kicks to determine a winner.

ST: The result is 2:2!

KS: Well, it had a result but no winner.

ST: You know I am a nitpicker!

KS: Jonathon Stott will shoot for Vilita... Slani, does that person never retire?

ST: Vilitans age at the same speed as Giant Zucchinis.

KS: That means Banda'he will still play in WC40? SSSLLLLLAAAAAANNNNNIIIIIIII!

ST: he scored?

KS: He did. Now for the Lasane: Sasijilvenku Dikelesinivet... JJJJJJJJJJJIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

ST: Sounds like an equalized score?

KS: Were you a psychic in a previous life? Well, for Vilita now... Marasent Sioane... K~HOJNAHE~NRA!

ST: Please, Kansu... Other words... translate it to English at least... most listeners don't know curses in that language well!

KS: okay, FUCKING SHIT!

ST: That sounds wrong...

KS: Next one: Hekit Tana... JJJIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE, xkora alte!

ST: For the english listeners: Equalizer.

KS: The tension is rising as now Serge DuPont steps up for Vilita (connection breaks down)

(after a while)
KS: Sirake, are you hearing me?

ST: I am... tell me, how high?

KS: 2:4... against us!

ST: SHIT!

Vilita

14-02-2005, 17:58

Evil "Vilita" war criminal escapes Institution

-----------------One of the headstrongs in the Vilitan Government, captured by Krytenian armed forces and held for accusations of gathering intelligence against the Krytenian arms, has escaped the Krytenian mental institution that he was being held in. It is reported that the crazed being, known only as "Vilita" may have heard about his team's success in the World Cup Finals in Druida, north of Krytenia.

http://www.geocities.com/irv_the_swerve_mk/vil.jpg
"Vilita" in an undated Krytenia Institution file photo

-----------------Sights of this deranged being have been reported throughout Atlantian Oceania, in Abattoir and The Lowland Clans, leading experts to believe he is either headed north to Druida towards the World Cup Final, or to Starblaydia to murder the dwarves that ate his country-mate. His love of sport will likely drive him to Druida, but there was no sure sign as he was last spotted by a local in a forest south of Lake Bekk in The Lowland Clans. The local managed to snap a picture of the figure through the use of a cellular device left behind by some rich guy that visited their village to improve his public image while really not giving a rats ass, and officials have confirmed that the figure was in fact "Vilita". If you or anyone you know comes accross this being, do not interact with them, or fear for your life. Just run. Run as fast as you can, as far as you can, and inform officials as to where you've seen this being.

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/vilevil.jpg
"Vilita" in a forest south of Lake Bekk, free and dangerous

Vilita

15-02-2005, 01:31

Happy Birthday, Vilita?

-------------------"What are the odds?" "Vilita" said as he bypassed a town in which the date was posted. It was 12:25am, just aftermidnight, and it was now February 15th. It's my birthday! Well, not that I've ever had a terribly great birthday before, I mean, this year won't be any different. I haven't spent a birthday at home since I was 6 years old. Well, that'd not true. A few years ago I spent the morning of my birthday at home, but the rest of the day i spent driving accross the country couped up in a stupid little truck getting dry mouth from the broken air conditioner. So what are the odds that the World Cup Final is going to be on my birthday, and that my nation is going to be in it for the first time! Surely something like one in a billion. Well actually. We can probably figure it out, simply by multiplying three hundred and sixty five by about eighty... ermm factorial!, and then dividing that by four... hmmm maybe that doesnt work, that comes out to... well a 6 followed by one hundred and twenty zeros. thats one hell of a probability. maybe The Eagles Nest can calculate this one... I'm sure someone from that country has some fancy way of figuring it out for sure, they all have pencils and paper ... and sometimes a calculator with them.

-------------------Anyway, I think I see the stadium. Oh boy, what a birthday gift that would be if my Jungle Cats brought home the trophy for me! I better find a way to get inside without anyone noticing...

Helmut Vilkaus' squad for the World Cup Final v. Audioslavia

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/teamsheet.gif
Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Jimmy Kater, [D] Jaloey Afrikka, [D] Andrea Lamberti, [D] Ricky Ezis, [DMC] Jürgen Ramzi, [ML] Inaki Soler, [MC] Santo Kecker, [MC] Antonis Siazzu, [MR] Tanner Nerni, [FC] Callum Banda, [FC] Riccardo Appolloni,
BENCH::
[FC] Serge DuPont, [FC] Carmine Mbidzo, [M] Maurizio Sala, [M] Jacques Vintila, [U] Musa Nikiema, [D] Sibusiso Azaïez, [GK] Bryan 'Pop' Duiker,

Squornshelous

15-02-2005, 06:56

Pschychoes will face off with Orange-Blues

A semifinal loss sends Squornshelous to the third place match
The Pschychoes fought hard against Audioslavia in their semifinal matchup, scoring goals late to stay alive, and even taking the lead early in Extra Time, but they couldn't hold on and the 'Slaves swept by into the final. Squornshelous will instead face 5th ranked Rejistania, who are heavy favorites to go home with 3rd, leaving the Pschychoes with their second fourth place finish in three cups. However, this team does not fell intimidated by the 2 time champions. "We took out the #1 in the world and beat the #4 team twice. When you've done that, you don't let a number scare you," said Manager Korolev, "We're going out there with our same gameplan and we expect to win."

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Gerrard: 17
Popov: 11
Arnesson: 9
Washington: 3

Liverpool England

15-02-2005, 07:04

Football Association of Liverpool England Official Statement

The Football Association of Liverpool England would like to note that Mr. Syku Lyku has been given a contract extension through WC23 Qualifying. The Association would also like to take this opportunity to inform the world that our ex-President, current Chairman Gareth Dussis' father Paul, a World Cup winner, has suffered heat stroke and is in serious condition in hospital; we wish him a full recovery, but doctors fear the worst.

We'd also like to thank the hosts of World Cup 20, Starblaydia and Druida, for a magnificently-hosted cup, and we wish the remaining four teams the best in their respective playoff matches. This is also an official backing for the Rejistanian team to clinch third place but we couldn't possiby tell who'd win, although we do favour Audioslavia for certain reasons.

Good luck to all remaining teams again, and we hope that the football community will pray for Mr. Dussis.

FALE Spokesperson

[OOC: C'mon Slavia! You can do it! although, seeing Vil win a cup might be nice.]

Rejistania

15-02-2005, 11:52

Fifth time a charm?
The Orange-Blues will face the team in the third place playoff, most rejistanians only hate: Squornshelous also known as: si-ke-vor-ne-xe-lus, "the team that was ranked 25th" (in WC9 qualifying) or simply the untranslatable "K~hojnahe~nra'ny!" after losing to them in the qualifying of world cup 9 in the second match of the Orange-Blues ever. Even though the Orange-Blues could defeat the si-ke-vor-ne-xe-lus'tes at home, the 0:3 defeat hurted the pride. The Rejistanians thought their time for revenge came in the qualifiers for World cup 14, but were defeated 0:2 at home before being able to scrape a win in their country. Siki Rej did not predict anything but several sources from the team said that the Orange-Blues are very likely to lose, seeing that this it an odd number of matches against them.

Druida

15-02-2005, 16:38

Unnamed helper: "Did you find the cup?"

President Smith: "Uhuh."

Unnamed helper: "Where was it?"

President Smith: "In the refreshments bar. I must have left it there when I went for a cup of tea."

Unnamed helper: "Oh."

President Smith: "Here it is."

Unnamed helper: "Sir, two things - one, you don't drink tea. You're a coffee man, remember?"

President Smith: "Well... er... just for the RP's sake?"

Unnamed helper: "Um, OK. And two, that's a paper cup, not the World Cup."

President Smith: "You think they'll notice?"

Unnamed helper: "Possibly."

*Enter Simeone Di Bradini*

Unnamed helper: "Look, the Starblaydi representative's here now, and he's supposed to give the cup to the winners at the end. The greatest player in Starblaydia's history isn't going to want to hand over a paper cup to the winners, is he?"

Simeone Di Bradini: "Hello there, boys."

President Smith: "Um... hi..."

Simeone Di Bradini: "Sorry I was a little late, they had to air lift me in over all the Vilitans outside."

President Smith: "Um... no problem."

Unnamed helper: "Look, Simeone, why don't I take you to the refreshments stand for a bite to eat before we start?"

Simeone Di Bradini: "And you are?"

Unnamed helper: "I'm..."

President Smith: "He's... er... with me."

Simeone Di Bradini: "Oooh." *winks at President Smith*

President Smith: "No, not like that. He just helps out."

Simeone Di Bradini: "Well, I would, but the teams will be out in a minute, there'd be no point."

Unnamed helper: "Oh. OK."

*He turns away from Di Bradini.*

Unnamed helper: "Sir, have you any idea what kind of trouble we'll be in if we don't get this cup back?"

President Smith: "Well, you'd better go look for it then, hadn't you!"

Unnamed helper: "Sir, you know already that I do just about everything for you. OK, I don't wipe your backside for you as much nowadays, but just about all the good ideas we have are mine. And when something goes wrong, who's there to put it right? I AM!!! So for once in your life, you can get off your sorry ass and DO IT YOURSELF!!!"

President Smith: "OK, OK, calm down a bit."

Unnamed helper: "Look, I'm going to go to the toilet, and when I get back you're going to go and look for the World Cup, OK?"

President Smith: "OK... Oh, and you can use the one in the Presidential Suite if you like."

Unnamed helper: "Don't worry, I usually do."

*A few minutes pass, as President Smith kinda looks at Simeone Di Bradini for a bit, before examining his paper cup for what seems to him like seconds, but is in fact a couple of minutes. Then the President's unnamed helper returns with something under his arm.*

Unnamed helper: "Mr. Di Bradini, I think you should look after this."

*He hands the World Cup over, before turning back to the President.*

President Smith: "You found it!"

Unnamed helper: "Shhh! Keep your voice down! I mean, how did you miss it?"

President Smith: "I... er... Where was it?"

Unnamed helper: "Next to your personal toilet, no less. With a toilet roll on the top."

President Smith: "I... er... Was it a used one?"

Unnamed helper: "Of course not, you idiot! You think I'd let Simeone Di Bradini hand over a cup covered in... don't be stupid. Now, just make sure no-one gets wind of what happened, else we could be in big trouble. You can manage that can't you?"

President Smith: "Of course."

Unnamed helper: "Well, the teams are coming out now. Remember, no more about it, eh?"

President Smith: "OK. So which team are we?"

Unnamed helper: "This is Audioslavia and Vilita. Druida aren't in it."

President Smith: "So why are we here?"

Unnamed helper: "Because you're the most famous man in Druida, what with being the President and everything! So you get to present some of the medals."

President Smith: "Oh. So why aren't Druida playing?"

Unnamed helper: "Because they got knocked out. Remember, the Commerce Heights game? We were there, too!"

President Smith: "Still, why can't we play too?"

*Unnamed helper just stares at President Smith until the anthems start, and everyone calms down just a little.*

Audioslavia

15-02-2005, 18:39

Audioslavia's Team For The Final of World Cup 20

With Andersson and captain Johnstone both serving suspentions after their red cards agains Squornshelous, the Audioslavia team looks like this:

-----------------------------
| 12 |
| Walsh |
| |
| 6 |
| 16 Ceulemans 3 |
| Bannockburn Carel |
| 4 |
| 19 Crevan 11 |
|Rijsbergen Jansen |
| 14 8 |
| Araxie Oskari |
| |
| 7 9 |
| Dannes McLlroy |
-----------------------------

The 'slaves will line up again in their change strips of white and sky-blue, with Vilita in their traditional navy blue and dark green.

Can the 'slaves take their first ever championship? Or will they be the first side to be on the losing side in three world cup finals? Only time will tell.

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake, making a one-match comeback. G'night bitches.

Squornshelous

16-02-2005, 00:36

OOC:Apparantly our hosts have decided not to TG the results, I just found them in the scores thread.

IC:
Not Half Bad

In fact it wasn't even a quarter bad as the Pschychoes take home third place
Squornshelous recorded their third win over Rejistania and their first win in a Post-Semifinal match. Both teams played very well, but Squornshelous showed that little bit of extra effort, something they've been doing all cup. "We've played very well," said Manager Korolev, "and if it weren't for our slip up against Audioslavia I feel like we'd have taken home the cup."
Scoring started in the late first half, after good defensive play from both teams. The Orange-Blues frustrated the Squornshelan attack, but in the 40th minute, Trevor Gerrard took advantage of their formation. Rejistania was playing an offsides trap, with all the defenders in a line, and while Popov pressured the middle, Gerrard hung back to give himself space for a run. When he saw his opening between Sasijilvenku Dikelesinivetisaru, who Squornshelan Sportscaster Rodrigo Venegas dubbed "Nopuedopronunciarsunombre" which is easier to say, (for Rodrigo at least) and Syly Kansu, who Rodrigo renamed "Sly". Gerrard recieved the ball from Kenny Washington just as he reached the line. he quickly cut towards the middle of the field and fired frm just inside the box, putting it past Menik Hisda. Rejistania managed to come out hot after halftime, and put one past Speer. A 56th minute pass from Kvansa Laijiyiaya (¡aiaiai!) found Jariakeledema Ky-Inidiviayu (el jerk) unmarked near the top corner of the box. However, an odd bit of spin on the ball sent it shooting up into the air where Salakerijasamenatira Harakemindanutikejil (Sunombreestambiéndemasiadodifícilparadecir) headed it into the net. After this goal, Squornshelous shifted to a more defensive formation, with Popov moving back to CAM and Arnesson moving to a CM position, looking somethng like this:

Gerrard

Popov

Washington Arnesson Neese

Snell

Darwin Erikson Erikson Green

Speer

After their defensive play disrupted the momentum from the Orange-Blues' goal, the Pschychoes moved back into their standard formation, and began attacking the ball again. The lull in the action on Rejistania's defensive side had heightened the attention the defenders paid to Gerrard, but as Popov moved back to his forward position, he sometimes got lost in the shuffle. However, no one on the Squornshelan side was able to exploit this until late in the game. In the 88th minute, the Pschychoes were playing hard trying to avoid another trip into extra time. Arnesson moved the ball upfield moving into a pocket in the defense, which slowly began to close around him as defenders moved in. Suddenly, he spotted Popov on a miraculously empty right wing. He played a ball just over the head of Sayiji Hija (Say Cheese) and Popov recieved it on the run. He dribbled in to the corner of the box and fired just before Dikelesinivetisaru could reach him. The ball arced toward the far corner and appeared to be headed out of bounds on the far side of the goal, but as billions of fans around the worldheld their breath, the ball curved around Hisda and rebounded in off the far post. The crowd went nuts, and Rodrgio Venegas was so excited he lapsed into Spanish (one of three official languages in Squornshelous), much to the confusion of foreign viewers.

"¡Popov dispara, goooooooool! ¡goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool! ¡El Squornshelous se mueve delante con dos minutos permanecer en el juego!"

Final Score:
Squornshelous 2-1 Rejistania

Scoring Summary:
SQ: Gerrard [40]
RJ: Harakemindanutikejil [56]
SQ: Popov [88]

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Gerrard: 18
Popov: 12
Arnesson: 9
Washington: 3

Bedistan

16-02-2005, 01:51

The Bedistan Sports Digest
Other News

Sports Digest Receives Sports Publication of the Year Award
Correctly predicts World Cup Twenty winners

SONOMA CITY -- The Journalists' Association of Bedistan (JAB) today awarded this newspaper one of the greatest honors in Bedistani journalism. The Bedistan Sports Digest received the award for "Sports Publication of the Year", based primarily on correctly predicting the nation of Vilita to win the twentieth World Cup in Starblaydia and Druida, doing so before the World Cup proper was even underway.

Editor Miguel Rodriguez was on hand to accept the award, thanking the Bedistani public for making the Sports Digest the most successful sport-related publication in all Terranordalis.

Vilita defeated Audioslavia one-nil, causing the latter to set a new record by successfully losing three World Cup finals, even more than Bedistan has managed.

Audioslavia

18-02-2005, 17:24

THUMP...THUD... tsshh... ROAR

Vilita's winger Nerni wheels away towards the crowd, arms aloft, being pursued by most of the other Jungle Cat side. The defensive wall that Audioslavia had created simply stood there, staring at the goal and at the ball that nested comfortably in the bottom corner of it. Audioslavian goalie James Walsh picked himself up, dusted himself down, and booted the ball out. The contrasting emotions of both sets of players was echoed in the behaviour of both sets of commentators. In Audioslavia's commentary booth, commentator Barry Jameson was trying to remain neutral, commenting on how the free-kick was 'beautifully struck', albiet in a somewhat melancholy way. Vilita's commentary booth is a riot of colours and excited voices. "A superb free-kick... and the Jungle Cats.... are a goal up in the world cup final! Nerni stepped up and curled it beautifully round the wall... Walsh was well beaten, its in off the bar and Vilita are one step closer to the championship!"

The 'slaves kicked off again, but couldn't muster up enough energy to get any decent attacks before the half-time break. 'Slavian manager Dave Mill takes his men into the changing room.

"Ok guys" he says, looking around at the 'slave team, all of which look tired. "This is it. This is where all the practice we've been doing over the past year and a half has to pay off. We're a goal down, thats it, its not the end of the world. We outplayed them for the first twenty minutes and then we let them get back in with a few chances, we've got the midfield, lets use it. Instead of knocking it up to Jackie and Ollie lets play it about, make the bastards run. You notice how, when you two get the ball in midfield, Jussi? You notice how theyre onto you like a shot? That is NOT a cue to try and take them on, thats a cue to pass it around them. Theyre man-marking you, so don't start fannying about when you have the ball! Knock it around, get into space, THEN fanny around, as long as it comes to something? You understand?"

And so, just like the opening minutes of the first half, the 'slaves came out firing on all cylinders for the second. Araxie, Oskari and Crevan started knocking the ball out and opening up the Vilita midfield, and all of a sudden the 'slaves were getting chances again. 51st minute: Oskari's through-ball finds Dannes. The striker turns his man beautifully and with a sweet, low drive, smacks the ball past Kater. The world stands up to get a better look at the television, and then slumps down and eats more crisps/potatochips as the shot nicks the outside of the post and goes out of play. 55th minute: Jansen whips a corner into the box, Dannes rises like the proverbial salmon and nods the ball down for Ceulemans who is arriving on the edge of the area. The centre-half smacks it like you'd expect a six-foot centre-half to smack a football and the world gets off its collective ass again. It cringes for a second, but then slump down as Jimmy Kater gets his hands in the way and palms the ball over the bar. The world then sighs as the 'slaves waste the corner. Apart from those parts of the world which fall under the category 'pub in Audioslavia'. These places see people smashing glasses and bottles on the floor as Audioslavia come close time and time again.

Seventy minutes have gone and Jansen flicks the ball into the box, but his pass falls well short, and is intercepted by Lamberti. Lamberti goes to hoof the ball upfield, but instead picks out a perfect fifty-yard pass to Appollpni on the left wing. Appolloni sprints upfield, cutting in towards the goal, which is blocked only by the goalie, Aron Ceulemans and Arne Carel. Ceulemans goes to intercept the striker but slips and falls on his arse. Appolloni carries the ball past him and plays it square to the centre-forward Callum Banda. With one touch he carries the ball in front of him and sets himself up for a shot. With Walsh off his line and in no-mans land he contemplates a lob, but instead thinks 'fuck it' and decides to bury the ball in the corner. He sets up, swings his foot, but before his foot can follow through and sweep the ball in for 2-0 his leg iis kicked away by a desperate Arne Carel. Banda tumbles to the ground and the ball bobbles towards Walsh who doesn't even bother picking it up. The referee is already pointing to the spot, whilst reaching for a card. Its red, Carel is sent off for a profession foul, and its all falling apart for the 'slaves.

The players crowd round the area. With a quarter of an hour to go, a two-nil scoreline would definately bury the game. However if Banda misses, then it might just spur the 'slaves on. Its Banda vs Walsh. The winger sets the ball down on the turf and walks back calmly. The referee blows the whistle, and he turns round and swoops in for the kill. With a blistering crack he lets rip and sends the ball crashing towards the goal. Its another moment for the world's heart to skip a beat, and for a split-second the guy-in-charge-of-the-scoreboard goes to change the scoreline to '2-0'. James Walsh has different ideas though, and with a gallant leap he spreads himself accross to the left hand side of the goal and knocks the ball away for a corner. Ceulemans and Bannockburn jump on his to congratulate him, whilst Banda looks at his feet for a second before getting ready for the corner. Nerni whips it in. Bannockburn rises for it, but can't out-jump Ricky Erzis who beats him to it and diverts the ball towards goal with his forehead. Walsh is left rooted to the spot and is forced to watch the ball dip over him, and off the bar and in the air. The goalie, now back-peddalling, is off balance and its anyone's ball, but Crevan is there to beat Banda in the air and head it away to safety.

Ten minutes left and the 'Slaves are struggling to get the ball out of their own half, let alone get an equaliser. The Jungle Cats constantly put pressure on the blank space in their defence, Crevan has to cover and as a result the midfield is torn apart from the middle, allowing Soler and Kecker to run riot whilst Nerni gets in cross after cross. Appolloni gets a half-chance from a deflection, and a Banda header is cleared off the line before the 'slaves embark on what looks like their last attack of the world cup, bang on the ninety minute mark. Ceulemans disposses Banda on the edge of the box with a brilliant sliding tackle and knocks the ball along to Arie Jansen. Jansen's electic pace has not waned over the ninety minutes and he sets off, skinning Nerni and getting the ball up down the left hand side. A square ball sends Oskari through, and its three on three at the Crystilakere end with every player on both teams sprinting up behind them, even Audioslavia's goalie is making his way up the pitch. Oskari plays a one-two with Araxie and, with the return pass, nut-megs Afrikka to let in Jansen again on the left hand side. Jansen's cross is fast and perfectly placed, coming to Dannes like a dart. Dannes however, leaves it and lets the ball run through his legs. It seems like the wrong option with Lamberti right behind him but the Vilita defender can't react quick enough and the ball rebounds off of the inside of his left leg, and falls straight to Jackie McLlroy.

McLlroy steadies himself. He's nine yards away from goal, parallell with the right-hand line of the six-yard box. The goalkeeper is covering the opposite post, and is scrambling to get accross. He's basically on his own. The three defenders have been torn apart by the swift move and the midfielders aren't anywhere near the goal. The ball bounces towards him agonisingly slowly, and all he has to do is direct it into the goal. McLlroy breathes, sets himself up for the easiest goal he'll score in his life, and with a swift movement of his left foot, moves to sweep the ball into the centre of the goal to get the match into extra time. Or maybe not, maybe the 'slaves could get a second injury-time goal and turn the game around completely at the death. Either way, he was going to score. Meeting the ball sweetly, McLlroy swivels and hooks the ball goalwards. Collectively, the entire Vilita side groan whilst the 'slavian side get ready to celebrate like they've never celebrated before.

And then the ball hits the post.

And goes out of play.

And the referee blows for full time.

McLlroy sinks to his hands and knees and smacks his fist against the floor, cursing in every Audioslavian word under the sun. He fucked up, he got too much of his foot round it, he should have controlled it, he should have just walked the ball in, he should have waited til the ball was on his favourite right foot. He should have done a million things, but he didn't. It was a one-in-a-million chance of him MISSING for christ sake, but he did, just because he took the wrong option.

The Vilita players pile on each other at the edge of the pitch near the green and blue area of the crowd, who are currently infinitely more vocal than the claret and green area. The Vilitan Jungle Cats are the world champions, and the 'slaves are left to ponder about what might have been.

FINAL SCORE, FROM THE FINAL OF WORLD CUP 20
VILITA 1 (Nerni 37)
AUDIOSLAVIA 0

de ja vu, anyone? ;)

NationStates Jolt Archive

World Cup 20 - Roleplay Thread - Page 3