NationStates Jolt Archive


World Cup 20 - Roleplay Thread

Pages : [1] 2 3
Starblaydia
13-01-2005, 00:10
The
Starblaydia & Druida
World Cup 20 RP Thread

Please, if you have any need for OOC Chat/Banter/Whinging/Comment, please use the World Cup Discussion Thread (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=293066)


World Cup Introduction:

For more information on the World Cup, it's History, how it works, who runs it, and the competitions related to it, check out the World Cup Wiki Site (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/World_Cup).

The NSWC is a tournament for any NS nation who signs up. This World Cup is about to Start its 19th competition. Every team is given a rank based on their performances in previous Cups, and the starting rank is 150 (the Current 'best team in the world' is Rejistania, with a rank of 1) See::KPB Rankings (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/KPB_ranking_system)

Scores are generated using either a Java program or through various or MS Excel sheet 'scorinators' which use random numbers, weighted by ranking and RP bonus to produce the scores.

It is encouraged for Nations to RP - roleplay - their matches, team rosters, players and such. Good RPs will help raise your chance of winning (especially in the Baptism of Fire and Colony Cup). Please note: A lot of RPs does not guarantee goals or wins, but your chances are improved or this happening. i.e. Two debutant, Rank 150, nations play each other. One has RP'd a few times, the other has not. The nation who has participated should have the better probability of victory, but still has a chance of a Win, Loss or Draw.

RPs can be Team Roster announcements, fan comments, press conferences, media stories, anything about the game, as long as you've kept to the score as posted or TGd to you by the host/scorer. - Originally Produced by Starblaydia

Useful World Cup 20 Links:
WC20 Scores Thread (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=389274)
WC20 RP Thread (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=388890)
WC20 Rosters Thread (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=388879)
World Cup Discussion Thread (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=293066)


Qualifying Format:

The Top Three Teams in each group after 14 Matchdays will advance to the 20th World Cup Finals in Starblaydia and Druida. Qualifying matches will take place in character at each nations home stadium. Each nation will host each of it's group nations once at home, and travel once away to each nation in it's group. A Victory will be rewarded with 3 Points, with 1 point awarded for a draw. No points will be awarded for a loss. Ties in the standings will be seperated by Goal Difference [ (Goals For) minus (Goals Against) ]. If GD is equivalent, The number of Goals For will be used. Nations that cease to exist during qualifying will host matches in neighboring nations until the end of qualifying, in character. If the nation has not been resurrected by the end of qualifying, they will automatically be discounted from qualification, even if they are in a qualifying position. If this happens, the next team eligible in that Group will Qualify.


RP Bonus:

We would like to encourage quality RP's because people want to contribute to the cup, and NOT because they want to simply earn points by appeasing to the hosts guidelines.

In short, We Want You to Feel Special by Participating in our Cup.

The Qualifying Groups:

Group 1
Rejistania (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7929444&postcount=12) ::4::
Eauz (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7933868&postcount=26) ::15::
Shonar Bangla (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7928596&postcount=5) ::33::
Krytenia (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7933969&postcount=29) ::35::
Oceaice ::47::
Pterodactyl (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7980791&postcount=55) ::77::
Lamoni (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7937155&postcount=37) ::91::
Limp Wristed Fish ::118::

Group 2
Dance 2 Revolution (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7949263&postcount=48) ::2::
Commerce Heights ::20::
Cockbill Street (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7928639&postcount=9) ::28::
Oddslavo ::45::
Big Pimento ::46::
Kipto-Mare (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7939245&postcount=43) ::66::
Korinthos ::110:
Aust (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7933872&postcount=27) ::150::

Group 3
Crystilakere (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7969567&postcount=52) ::3::
Iansisle (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7928526&postcount=3)::14::
Jeruselem (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7933008&postcount=23) ::27::
Legalese ::40::
Eystrck ::50::
South Osettia (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7934804&postcount=33) ::73::
Praying2God (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7931489&postcount=19) ::110::
Nevigrad ::122::

Group 4
Melmond (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7939212&postcount=41) ::11::
EL CID THE HERO (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7942104&postcount=46) ::17::
The Belmore Family (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7936155&postcount=35) ::26::
Raptor Claw (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7980737&postcount=54) ::36::
Slaikau ::52::
Nonesuch Street (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7959947&postcount=51) ::69::
Pedriana (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7928637&postcount=8) ::97::
Harlesburg ::118::

Group 5
Turori (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7939628&postcount=44) ::10::
The Lowland Clans ::22::
Tadjikistan (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7934552&postcount=31) ::23::
Oaker ::44::
Lethislavania (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7928582&postcount=4) ::51::
Spurland (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7934745&postcount=32) ::73::
Wickerslack ::91::
Irenadia ::118::

Group 6
Audioslavia (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7928599&postcount=6) ::1::
One Red Dot (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7932973&postcount=21) ::21::
Wella ::29::
Snub Nose 38 (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7934138&postcount=30) ::42::
Spaam ::55::
Giant Zucchini (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7972411&postcount=53) ::78::
East Lithuania ::102::
San Verdi (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7957866&postcount=50) ::150::

Group 7
Kaze Progressa (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7956358&postcount=49) ::8::
Svecia ::16::
Adam Island (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7934913&postcount=34) ::34::
Kylaai (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7939088&postcount=39) ::41::
Sliponia ::63::
GT-R (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7932869&postcount=20) ::84::
Royal Engrand (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7939240&postcount=42) ::102::
Talzeckia (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7932996&postcount=22) ::150::

Group 8
Vilita (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7928383&postcount=2) ::6::
Lovisa (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7943734&postcount=47) ::13::
Nova Britannicus (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7936971&postcount=36) ::31::
Lykaia ::37::
Finrods ::48::
Five Civilized Nations (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7933940&postcount=28) ::80::
Sybex ::96::
Nanakaland ::150::

Group 9
The Eagles Nest (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7929647&postcount=13) ::7::
Squornshelous (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7931040&postcount=17) ::12::
Liverpool England (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7940172&postcount=45) ::24::
The Weegies (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7937206&postcount=38) ::39::
Kingsford (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7930251&postcount=15) ::53::
Hiiraan (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7930183&postcount=14) ::75::
Ratvipa ::110::
Antaeus Rising ::150::

Group 10
Total n Utter Insanity ::5::
Bedistan (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7928605&postcount=7) ::18::
Sarzonia (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7931146&postcount=18) ::30::
Fmjphoenix (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7930589&postcount=16) ::43::
Haperd ::54::
Qia ::76::
Ninurta ::110::
Nouveau Richelieu ::150::


World Cup 20 Qualifying MatchDay Schedule
Note, the team on the left is at home for these matches, the team on the right is playing away. These matches do not take place in Starblaydia or Druida.

MD01: 1v5, 2v6, 3v7, 4v8
MD02: 5v4, 6v1, 7v2, 8v3
MD03: 1v7, 2v8, 3v5, 4v6
MD04: 5v2, 6v3, 7v4, 8v1
MD05: 1v2, 3v4, 5v6, 7v8
MD06: 3v2, 4v1, 7v6, 8v5
MD07: 1v3, 2v4, 5v7, 6v8
MD08: 5v1, 6v2, 7v3, 8v4
MD09: 4v5, 1v6, 2v7 ,3v8
MD10: 7v1, 8v2, 5v3, 6v4
MD11: 2v5, 3v6, 4v7, 1v8
MD12: 2v1, 4v3, 6v5, 8v7
MD13: 2v3, 1v4, 6v7, 5v8
MD14: 3v1, 4v2, 7v5, 8v6
Vilita
13-01-2005, 00:11
Vilitan World Cup 20 Preview & Predictions
( Groups Sorted by Projected Finishing Order)





Group 1
Eauz ::15::
Rejistania ::5::
Shonar Bangla ::33::
---
Lamoni ::91::
Oceaice ::47::
Krytenia ::35::
Pterodactyl ::77::
Limp Wristed Fish ::118::


Group 1 is a story of 2 nations. Eauz & Rejistania. The matchup that some have been waiting years for, Eauz and Rejistania will square off twice, and Eauz will get the better half, with a draw in Eauz, then a surprise win in Sike Kali, 2-1 over the Rejis.

Shonar Bangla will be comfortable in the 3rd position. The World Cup 19 Surprise Package nearly made it through to the second round of the World Cup Finals, with Hosts Turori advancing only on Goal Differential.

Baptism of Fire Cup entrant and Atlantian Oceania Delegate Lamoni will impressively outduel "the best of the rest" and take 4th place some ways behind Shonar Bangla. Oceaice will plunder a few undeserved wins, and a draw from Eauz, the only match Eauz will drop points in other than the draw with Rejistania, keeping the pirates in 5th.

The downward Krytenian spiral will continue as they will barely edge out the Pterodactyl team for 6th place, while Limp Wristed Fish will score 2 points in last place.



--------------------------------



Group 2
Dance 2 Revolution ::2::
Cockbill Street ::28::
Commerce Heights ::20::
---
Oddslavo ::45::
Big Pimento ::46::
Kipto-Mare ::66::
Aust ::150::
Korinthos ::110:


This is going to be a pretty crappy group. Like Group 1, it will be a story of the 3 teams that advance, and the rest of them that don't. Cockbill Street will be the life of this group, giving Dance 2 Revolution a run for their money. Unfortunately, an untimely loss to Aust will unseat Cockbill Street and push them to second in the table. Commerce Heights will trudge undeservingly through to the finals in 3rd.

Oddslavo will benefit from the second-lamest group in the cup, unless Big Pimento returns on a giant white horse. Big Pimento's absense is the real point of note, as a Big Pimento Return could shake up the entire finishing order. Kipto-Mare will take points from Big Pimento and Korinthos, while splitting the series with Aust. Aust will be a promising team that will get unlucky results against non-partcipant Oddslavo to finish level with Kipto-Mare. Unfortunately, Lopsided first leg scorelines against the top 3 will kill Aust's goal differential, relegating them to 7th, just ahead of Korinthos.



--------------------------------



Group 3
Crystilakere ::3::
Iansisle ::14::
Jeruselem ::27::
---
South Osettia ::73::
Legalese ::40::
Eystrck ::50::
Praying2God ::110::
Nevigrad ::122::


Defending world champion and Atlantian Oceania member Crystilakere must be wondering "Is this really a new Cup?" That's right, the group is nearly identical to the one Crystilakere topped to make it to the World Cup 19 finals, even with South Osettia playing the role of Maserrat. The Crystils should be able to top the group again, especially as they are now favored.

Expect Iansisle to join the Crystils, dropping points only to Crystilakere and a split series with South Osettia in a strong performance by the Ians. Jeruselem, who finally returned to the Finals in World Cup 19, better tighten their boots. If Legalese returns they will be a lock to take the 3rd spot from Jeruselem. If they do not, then the battle will get interesting.

South Osettia will challenge Jeruselem, and will beat the jers twice to signal their intentions to compete. Unfortunately, defeats at the hands of Legalese and Eystrck, as well as the top 2, will force South Osettia to settle for 4th place, when they deserve a bit more. Praying2God and Nevigrad can book their tickets for World Cup 21, because no one will even notice they were in World Cup 20.



--------------------------------



Group 4
Melmond ::11::
EL CID THE HERO ::17::
The Belmore Family ::26::
---
Raptor Claw ::36::
Nonesuch Street ::69::
Slaikau ::52::
Pedriana ::97::
Harlesburg ::118::

This will be a make or break cup for Raptor Claw. After making the World Cup Finals (at some point?), they have been one of the most underperforming teams in the last two world cups and cup of harmony as well. They will finally show the strength that took them to the World Cup Finals, but will fall short of the finals, as this group will go almost according to plan.

Melmond and El Cid The Hero will make World Cup Qualifying History by posting identical records in every category, making it impossible to choose a group winner in what will be the only interesting story out of Group 4. The Belmore Family will sit close behind in 3rd, just far enough away from Raptor Claw to not have to worry about their place in the finals come Matchday 14.

Nonesuch Street will be the team that knocks Raptor Claw out of the finals after the raptors split their series with the belmorians, but draws against Slaikau and Pedriana will keep them just out of reach of thinking they have any chance of qualification. It will be another mid-table finish for Slaikau, perennial nothings who will finish just a few points ahead of bottom duo Pedriana and Harlesburg.



--------------------------------



Group 5
Turori ::10::
The Lowland Clans ::22::
Lethislavania ::51::
---
Tadjikistan ::23::
Oaker ::44::
Spurland ::73::
Wickerslack ::91::
Irenadia ::118::


Turori and The Lowland Clans will renew their World Cup 15 rivalry, and add a bit of Atlantian Oceania regional flavor too it as they battle neck and neck for the top spot in the group. The matches between the teams will end in draws, and with similar records otherwise, Turori can expect to take the top spot on goal differential due soley to their doubling walloping's of Irenadia. Lethislavania will introduce themselves to the World Cup Finals at the expense of Tadjikistan, who'se bell curve will slope the other direction in losses to Lethislavania and Wickerslack.

Foaker Fever has fizzled out and the Oaker's will head a pack of 4 closely knit teams hovering around 12 points at the bottom of Group 5, including Spurland Wickerslack and Irenadia.



--------------------------------



Group 6
Audioslavia ::1::
Giant Zucchini ::78::
Snub Nose 38 ::42::
---
One Red Dot ::21::
East Lithuania ::102::
Spaam ::55::
Wella ::29::
San Verdi ::150::


World #1's Audioslavia have what can easily be considered the easiest path to the World Cup Finals, with 42 ranks seperating them from the 4th best opposition and one of the few 150 Ranked teams to square off and take target practice against. Expect the Slaves to boast a perfect 14-0-0 record to solidify their ranking.

The rest of Group 6 will be the most exciting of any group, with a series of upsets propelling Giant Zucchini to an early return in the limelight of the World Cup Finals. Going into the final matchday in 4th behind Snub Nose 38 and One Red Dot, The Zucchinis will leapfrog both teams after the two draw head to head, and Giant Zucchini registers a large victory over San Verdi. One Red Dot will be knocked out in one of the closest battles in the cup, which sees East Lithuania win over Spaam and come home 5th. Wella, the 3rd ranked team in the group, will finish 7th, just 7 points back of Giant Zucchini in 2nd. And Oh Yea, San Verdi. Have fun becoming the 4th team in KPB with 0.00 points.



--------------------------------



Group 7
Kaze Progressa ::8::
Svecia ::16::
Adam Island ::34::
---
Kylaai ::41::
Sliponia ::63::
GT-R ::84::
Royal Engrand ::102::
Talzeckia ::150::


Adam Island will be reunited with Kylaai and introduced to a new host of teams in what will prove to be one of the most reported groups in the media throughout the cup. Unfortunately for the reporters, the group will finish true to form, with Kaze Progressa and Svecia running away with the group ahead of Adam Island, and Kylaai relegated to shoot for another cup of harmony title.

GT-R will turn a few heads with some upsets, but will be the only team to concede points to Talzeckia, and finish an undeserved 6th in the group, where in other groups they could have been battling for 3rd. Royal Engrand and Talzeckia will puppet themselves at the bottom of the group, and wish they had had a better draw, and will wait for the next cup to start chipping away at their ranking.



--------------------------------



Group 8
Vilita ::6::
Lykaia ::37::
Lovisa ::13::
---
Nova Britannicus ::31::
Five Civilized Nations ::80::
Finrods ::48::
Sybex ::96::
Nanakaland ::150::


Well, Obviously this group should be fun. Fortunately for Vilita, The mix of the most boring teams to have ever been grouped into a single qualifying group, and a the 2 others, is just perfect to allow them to build on their 26 match World Cup Qualifying unbeaten run.

Making up this "Group of 'Put me To Sleep'" Will be Lykaia, Lovisa, Finrods: Puppet of Lovisa, Sybex and the Semi-Transient duo of Nova Britannicus and Nanakaland. We may be in luck that Starblaydia is hosting the cup, and Nova Britannicus may see the light of day. Unfortunately for them, Lykaia is due for another World Cup 16 run and will somehow double over Lovisa to finish in second. Finrods, and Sybex will be more than dissapointing, finishing around Nanakaland with an all time record low of around 7 points each at the bottom of the table.

Five Civilized Nations will be the only shining point in this group, unfortunately their rank is not quite high enough to overcome Lovisa and Nova Britannicus, but they will be a team to watch for in World Cup 21.



--------------------------------




Group 9
The Eagle's Nest ::7::
Squornshelous ::12::
Liverpool England ::24::
---
The Weegies ::39::
Kingsford ::53::
Hiiraan ::75::
Ratvipa ::110::
Anaetus Rising ::150::


Well this sure is a classic group isn't it? The Eagles Nest has been last in the VPI for about 3 cups now, and they are due for a good qualifying run, hell they'd probably be #1 in the world if they had decent Qualifying campaigns to add to their consistency in the finals. Liverpool England is exactly the opposite, traditionally strong in qualifiers, the prophets missed out on the last Finals in a very close group, undeservedly ::gasp, did i say that?:: ranking them 24th.

This will be a fun group when it comes down to the last few matches as Squornshelous, The Weegies, ::gasp:: Hiiraan and Kingsford will all head into the last 2 matches with a chance to take the 3rd spot. In a Dance2Revolution-esque rejuvination, Kingsford will win the last 2 matches to steal the spot and make a quick return to the World Cup Finals. Like Royal Engrand and Talzeckia, the nations of Ratvipa and Anaetus Rising will puppet themselves about well behind the rest of the teams at the bottom of this group.



--------------------------------



Group 10
Total n Utter Insanity ::5::
Sarzonia ::30::
Fmjphoenix ::43::
---
Bedistan ::18::
Haperd ::54::
Qia ::76::
Ninurta ::110::
Nouveau Richelieu ::150::


And this brings us to Group 10. The end of the road. This group is actually very interesting, as it presents us with a story of Two Halves. You can expect there will be a huge gap in points between 4th and 5th place in this group. To be honest with you, I don't really know what to tell you about this group, other than Total n Utter Insanity, Bedistan, Sarzonia and Fmjphoenix will definately occupy the first 4 positions in some, any, order. Haperd, Qia, Ninurta, Nouveau Richelieu will definately occupy the bottom 4 positions in some, any order. Any one of the 4 can finish in any one of the 4 positions.

Obviously Total n Utter Insanity will want the top spot as they are top ranked, but Bedistan is in it's worst position in years and needs a good run. And Sarzonia, well they are always going to be powerful, and now that we've seen what Henrik Bastale can do we can't count them out. Unfortunately for these 3 teams, Another Atlantian Oceania nation lurks. Fmjphoenix is building a reputation and this is just another chance for them to build on it. I honestly can NOT predict this group other than what I've already said, but if you MUST, my initial instinct was admitedly this. Pray for the people in Bedistan. The most un-deserved upset of the cup.
Iansisle
13-01-2005, 00:35
Aw, Mom: Jerusalem again!?
Some familiar, some new faces in Group Three

Quick quiz: what team have the Ians played the absolute most? Most might be tempted to say evil arch nemesis Starblaydia, but they’d be wrong. Idiots. It’s Jerusalem!

...of course, it’s against official Iansislean policy to keep any actual records from previous World Cups, so we might be talking out our rears. Does seem as though we’ve played a lot together of late, though, doesn’t it?

In other football news, the sister team of the Cherry Cup Champion Gulls will open qualifying in the new stadium opened just for them. Sir Gregory Penns-McCormick, the Director of Sports, Games, and Recreation was supposed to have attended the official opening of the MacDunn Footballing Grounds, but cited a hockey-related emergency and cleared out of the country.

The Ians will also have new leadership this year: David Westmore, bothered by injury and age, has descended into retirement. John Copplestone will take up the reins, but with an ultimatum: take the team farther than the Gulls, or it’s the chopping block!

The Star-Tribune’s Attempt at a Sincere and Meaningful Preview of Group Three!

Crystilakere (3) - According to our late breaking news, the defending champions. They also stole our rank, so we shall have to dish out a little retribution unto them.

Iansisle (14) - That’s us! w00t!

Jerusalem (27) - Hell, we don’t need a preview of them. I know their roster better than I know my own address.

Legalese (40) - Not much is known about this mysterious land, populated by shamans and other mysterious mysteries. They claim to have been playing international football for some time now, but can we really trust them?

Eystrck (50) - If their name was a little more similar to ‘eyrie’, we could make a joke about The Eagles Nest.

South Osettia (73) - Without the ‘south’, their name could be a flower. Or a nice ground covering moss.

Praying2God (110) - *snicker* We remember these jokers!

Nevigrad (122) - The Star-Tribune can now exclusively reveal that it might be cold at certain times of the year in Nevigrad. Or not.
Bedistan
13-01-2005, 01:19
The Bedistan Sports Digest

The Traditional Quadrennial World Cup Qualifying Group Preview and Whatnot
Sixteenth Edition

JHANNA, Starblaydia -- Apart from being the name of a city we're not entirely certain how to pronounce (Jay-hanna being the best approximation we at the Sports Digest can come up with), Jhanna is where the groups for World Cup 20 qualifying were drawn this afternoon. And we had to wait quite some time, as we were drawn into the tenth and final group, called, appropriately enough, Group Ten.

Group 10
Total n Utter Insanity (5)
BEDISTAN (18)
Sarzonia (30)
Fmjphoenix (43)
Haperd (54)
Qia (76)
Ninurta (110)
Nouveau Richelieu (150)

And, much like we've done every four years since the ancient days of World Cup 5, we'll be giving you a preview of what to expect in this group.

#5 Total n Utter Insanity
Older than dirt, the Insanicians have still failed to ever win a World Cup. Kinda like us, except we're just about the same age as dirt. They made it to the semifinals of World Cup 19, but as usual managed to come up short. They're an OK team, I guess.

Amazingly, even though both Bedistan and TnUI have been part of the last sixteen World Cups, the two teams have met only once. That was in the first round of World Cup 9, and it resulted in a 2-1 Bedistan victory.

#18 Bedistan
Eighteen? Slani, I remember the good old days when we were the best team in the world besides Rejistania! Oh wait...that was only eight years ago. My bad.

#30 Sarzonia
One of the 65,536 nations from Atlantian Oceania participating in this year's Cup, Sarzonia has met up with Bedistan before, in a way, as the Woodstock Wild and the Jamaica Giants faced off in the group stage of Champions League 5, with both teams successfully qualifying for the next round. Apart from that, they haven't yet met.

#43 Fmjphoenix
Relative newcomers to the Cup, they are quickly making a name for themselves. Don't take this team lightly.

#54 Haperd
Ah, the obscurity of the fifties. Pretty much nothing is known of the Haperd team, and Bedistan hasn't met them before.

#76 Qia
Qia...Qia...yeah, I remember the name, but I know nothing about them.

#110 Ninurta
Of the teams in the lower half of the group seedings, the team from Ninurta is probably the one to watch out for. I wouldn't look for them to make a serious dent in Bedistani stats, but they could prove to be a spoiler against the mid-range sides.

#150 Nouveau Richelieu
Never heard of 'em in my life. And where does this "150" come from? Last I heard, there were only about 120 or so ranked nations. Eh, that's probably a question for the folks at BediStat that keep track of the rankings. I can't figure 'em out, anyway.

Group Prediction

I wouldn't expect anything out of the ordinary here. Put the teams in rank order, best first and worst last, move Ninurta up about two positions, move Sarzonia up one, and there's my prediction. TnUI, Sarzonia, and Bedistan to qualify, in that order, Bedistan beating out Fmjphoenix on goal difference. Or Fmjphoenix might even pull a Halfassed and miss out on qualifying to Bedistan on goals scored. It'll be close, that's for sure.
Audioslavia
13-01-2005, 01:31
Its that time again...

Audioslavia's Football Statistics

World Cup 4
Qualifying
W4-2 Enelando
L1-2 Alhana Catherine
W3-2 Dyelibeybi
L1-2 Lemmitania
W3-1 Divine Llama
L0-1 Lunatic Goofballs

Finals
D3-3 Kingsford
W2-1 Jurrasica
D1-1 Europa Brittania
D1-1 Lemmitania (D1-1AET L2-3PEN)

P W D L F A
10 4 2 4 19 16

World Cup 5
Qualifiers
L0-4 Squornshelous
L0-3 One Red Dot
L0-1 Hendland
W4-0 Halfassedstates
W3-2 Caras Sidh
W2-1 Dark Outcasts
D1-1 Christofi
L1-2 Moyk

P W D L F A
8 3 1 4 11 14

World Cup 6
Qualifying
W2-0 Great White Sharks
D3-3 _AMP
W4-3 Porvoo
W4-1 Jay Cutter
W3-2 Cobra Cult
W6-0 Iuthia
D1-1 Starving Children
W2-1 Great White Sharks
D1-1 _AMP
W1-0 Porvoo
L2-3 Jay Cutter
D1-1 Cobra Cult
W2-0 Iuthia
L2-3 Starving Children

Finals
L0-3 Spaam
D1-1 Lemmitania
W2-1 Cobra Cult

P W D L F A
17 9 5 3 37 24

World Cup VII
Finals
L3-4 Malundar
W3-1 Liverpool England
W1-0 Kingsford
L2-4 Errinundera (AET)

P W D L F A
4 2 0 2 9 9

World Cup VIII
Qualifiers
W4-0 Sycoes
L1-2 Black Eagle Corps.
W2-1 Voyger
W2-0 Demonic Beings
D1-1 Quohog
D1-1 Sycoes
D0-0 Black Eagle Corps
D2-2 Voyger
D0-0 Demonic Beings
D1-1 Quohog

Finals
L1-2 Halfassedstates
L2-3 The Belmore Family
W3-1 Bullonien

P W D L F A
13 4 6 3 20 14

World Cup IX
Qualifiers
W2-0 Clearwater
L0-2 Lanky Dude
D1-1 Sensual Products
L0-1 East Spaam
D0-0 Timway
L0-1 Aquilla
W2-0 Spaam
W3-1 Clearwater
W3-1 Lanky Dude
W1-0 Sensual Products
W2-0 East Spaam
W3-2 Timway
D0-0 Aquilla
L0-1 Spaam

Finals
L1-2 The Belmore Family
D1-1 Oglethorpia
W1-0 Nikea

P W D L F A
17 8 4 5 20 13

World Cup 10
Qualifiers
W2-1 Svecia
W3-0 Dauragons
L1-2 Zinkoland
W3-0 Citta Acqua
L1-2 Dragonian Empire
W2-0 Davii
L0-1 Clearwater
W3-1 Ravenspire
W1-0 Svecia
W3-0 Dauragons
L2-3 Zinkoland
W2-0 Citta Acqua
W2-1 Dragonian Empire
W3-1 Davii
L0-1 Clearwater
D1-1 Ravenspire

Finals
L1-2 Lemmitania
W1-0 Total 'n Utter Insanity
W3-0 Commerce Heights
L0-1 Kingsford

P W D L F A
20 12 1 7 34 17

World Cup 11
Qualifiers
D0-0 Oddslavo
W1-0 Mattigool
W3-0 Lynnwoode
W2-0 Artemsia Absentia
W2-0 Ice Reavers
L0-2 Aquilla
W2-0 Big Butts
D0-0 Oddslavo
W4-1 Mattigool
W2-1 Lynnwoode
W2-0 Artemsia Absentia
W4-0 Ice Reavers
D1-1 Aquilla
D1-1 Big Butts

Finals
W1-0 Total n Utter Insanity
W3-2 Runaway Moose
W1-0 Kerla
L0-1 Europa Brittania

P W D L F A
18 12 4 2 29 9

World Cup XII
Qualifying
W2-1 EL CID THE HERO
D1-1 Iansisle
W4-0 Abysmalistan
L0-1 East Spaam
W4-2 James A Hollar
L1-2 Eaglet
W5-2 Gaddland
D2-2 EL CID THE HERO
W1-0 Iansisle
W2-0 Abysmalistan
L1-2 East Spaam
W1-0 James A Hollar
D0-0 Eaglet
D2-2 Gaddland

Finals
W2-1 NASTIC 2
L0-3 Oglethorpia
W3-1 Gesamkuntswerk
W2-1 Europa Brittania
W5-4 Squornshelous
W4-3 Commerce Heights
L1-1 Rejistania (1-1 AET, 2-3 on penalties)

P W D L F A
21 12 4 5 43 30

World Cup 13
Qualifiers
W2-0 Magnus Valerius
W2-0 Avenging Altos
W1-0 Free Radicals of Mu-Mu
L0-2 NEWI Cefn Druids
W4-0 Fahigland
L1-3 Bedistan
W2-0 Iansisle
W2-0 Dennisov
W3-0 Resistencia
W4-0 Magnus Valerius
W1-0 Avenging Altos
W1-0 Free Radicals of Mu-Mu
W4-1 NEWI Cefn Druids
D0-0 Fahigland
W1-0 Bedistan
D0-0 Iansisle
W1-0 Dennisov
W3-0 Resistencia

Finals
W2-0 Kerla
D1-1 Liverpool England
D0-0 Sliponia
L1-2 Spaam

P W D L F A
22 14 5 3 36 9

World Cup 14
Qualifying
W2-0 New Luca
D1-1 The Eagles Nest
L0-3 Total n Utter Insanity
D2-2 East Spaam
W2-1 Grand Master Mark
W3-1 New Montreal States
W1-0 Presgreif
W1-0 Larkinia
W2-0 Kendelstand
W3-1 New Luca
L0-2 The Eagles Nest
W2-1 Total 'n Utter Insanity
D1-1 East Spaam
W2-1 Grand Master Mark
W2-0 New Montreal States
W4-2 Presgrief
W2-1 Larkinia
W2-1 Kendelstand

Finals
W2-0 Kerla
L0-3 Brazillico
W1-0 Kaze Progressa
L0-1 Eauz

P W D L F A
22 15 3 4 35 22

World Cup 15
Qualifiers
W1-0 Isles of Wohlstand
L0-1 Commerce Heights
L0-1 Jerusalem
W1-0 Creedence Clearwater
W3-0 Raptor Claw
W3-0 Ineptia
W3-0 Kipto Mare
W3-0 Boscioto
W2-0 Sportonia
W1-0 Isles of Wohlstand
D1-1 Commerce Heights
W2-0 Jerusalem
W4-1 Creedence Clearwater
W2-1 Raptor Claw
W3-1 Ineptia
W2-0 Kipto Mare
W1-0 Boscioto
W2-0 Sportonia

Finals
D2-2 Kingsford
L0-2 Lovisa
W2-1 Aquilla

P W D L F A
21 16 2 3 38 11

World Cup 16
Qualifiers
W6-0 Adrasuvare
W3-2 Vilita
W2-1 Raptor Claw
W3-1 Redavic Union
D2-2 Hazlia
W4-1 Adrasuvare
W2-0 Vilita
D3-3 Raptor Claw
W1-0 The Redavic Union
W4-0 Hazlia

Finals
W3-0 Iansisle
D3-3 Oaker
D2-2 Kingsford
L0-2 Rejistania

P W D L F A
14 9 4 1 38 17

World Cup 17
Qualifiers
W3-0 Magnus Valerius
L0-1 Ebon Hawk
W3-2 Isles Of Wohlstand
W3-1 Big Pimento
L1-4 Squornshelous
W5-2 Cockbill Street
D0-0 The Weegies
W2-0 Magnus Valerius
W3-0 Ebon Hawk
W1-0 Isles of Wohlstand
D3-3 Big Pimento
D0-0 Squornshelous
D1-1 Cockbill Street
W3-1 The Weegies
W2-1 Halfassedstates

Finals
W2-1 Starblaydia
W5-4 NEWI Cefn Druids
W3-2 The Lowland Clans
D1-1 Aquiliana (L1-2 AET)

P W D L F A
19 12 4 3 41 25

World Cup 18
Qualifiers
W4-1 Vollmeria
W2-0 Tadjikistan
W3-0 Avenging Altos
L1-2 Druida
W3-0 Cockbill Street
W2-0 Oaker
W5-0 Kipto Mare
W4-0 Vollmeria
W3-0 Tadjikistan
W1-0 Avenging Altos
W4-0 Druida
D1-1 Cockbill Street
W3-1 Oaker
W3-0 Kipto Mare

Finals
W2-1 Tadjikistan
W2-1 Aquilliana
D0-0 Commerce Heights
W1-0 Snub Nose 38
L0-3 Kaze Progressa

P W D L F A
19 15 2 2 45 10

Eagles Cup V
L2-3 Starblaydia
W3-1 Turori
D0-0 Legalese
L0-1 Starblaydia
W3-1 Turori
D1-1 Legalese
W3-1 Liverpool England
W1-0 The Belmore Family
L0-1 Bedistan

P W D L F A
9 4 2 3 13 9

World Cup 19
W1-0 Slaikau
W3-0 Antixillian Fatwah
W3-1 Middle March
W5-0 Zvarinograd
W2-1 The Lowland Clans
D1-1 Sarzonia
W2-1 Lykaia
W4-2 Slaikau
W2-0 Antixillian Fatwah
W4-0 Middle March
W1-0 Zvarinograd
D2-2 The Lowland Clans
W3-2 Sarzonia
D1-1 Lykaia

Finals
W3-0 Cockbill Street
D1-1 Commerce Heights
L0-1 Lovisa
D1-1 Nova Britannicus (1-1 AET, W7-6 on penalties)
W1-0 Turori
D0-0 Dance 2 Revolution (0-0 AET, W4-3 on penalties)
L0-1 Crystilakere

P W D L F A
21 15 4 2 40 14

World Cup 20
Qualifying
W3-1 Spaam
W3-0 Giant Zucchini
W2-0 East Lithuania
W1-0 San Verdi
W1-0 One Red Dot
W2-1 Snub Nose 38
W2-0 Wella
D1-1 Spaam
D1-1 Giant Zucchini
D2-2 East Lithuania
W2-0 San Verdi
L2-3 One Red Dot
D1-1 Snub Nose 38
W4-2 Wella

Finals
L1-2 The Lowland Clans
W3-1 Liverpool England
W2-1 Bedistan
W2-0 One Red Dot
W1-0 Bedistan
W5-3 Squornshelous
L0-1 Vilita

P W D L F A
20 14 4 3 41 20

Jurassic Invitational Cup
D2-2 Cockbill Street
W4-2 Bedistan
W5-1 Haperd
W2-1 South Osettia
W1-0 Turori
L1-2 Bedistan
L1-2 Squornshelous

P W D L F A
7 4 1 2 16 10

All-time statistics
P W D L F A
303 184 58 61 553 255

Ranks/Achievements in each tournament:
World Cup 1 - N/A, Didn't Participate
World Cup 2 - N/A, Didn't Participate
World Cup 3 - N/A, Didn't Participate
World Cup 4 - 100, Second Round
World Cup 5 - 011, Didn't Qualify
World Cup 6 - 040, First Round
World Cup 7 - 020, Second Round
World Cup 8 - 013, First Round
World Cup 9 - 018, First Round
World Cup 10- 018, Second Round
World Cup 11- 011, Second Round
World Cup 12- 004, Runner-Up
World Cup 13- 002, Second Round
World Cup 14- 006, Second Round
World Cup 15- 005, First Round
World Cup 16- 009, Second Round
World Cup 17- 006, Second Round
World Cup 18- 006, Quarter Final (Eagles Cup 5, Final)
World Cup 19- 006, Runner-Up
World Cup 20- 001, Runner-Up (Jurassic Invitational Cup, Fourth Place)
World Cup 21- 001,

Records:
Biggest Win: 6-0 Vs Iuthia, 6-0 Vs Adrasuvare
Biggest Defeat: 0-4 Vs Squornshelous

Highest Rank: 1st
Lowest Rank: 40th
Sarcodina
13-01-2005, 01:55
Much apologies if this is the wrong thread...

Is it too late to sign up for World Cup 20?

Sarcodina has been practicing since its absolutely horrid showing in WC 18 and was planning a comeback. It wishes to join if it is not too late.

Thank You,
Unicel Domain
Director of Sarcodinan Nation Athlethics Commission (SNAC)
Hiiraan
13-01-2005, 02:41
Hiiraan Gets ready for the Long Haul.
Group 9 challanging for the Ocean Blue stars.

Hiiraan-- The Hiiraan Media today captured as Emotions fell over the Hiiraan Group 9 drawing, Some cried out the year of Horrors while others played it out and presented it as a challange that waits us, however the Coach of last year and players have put much emphasis on being drawn into one of the hardest group with at least two former cup winners. Hiiraanian players said "We want to stress to the public out there its game of challange and just cause we are in challanging group does not mean we shall lose out on our chance to improve and possiply go to the world cup". although most players and staff members showed the sma epoint, a lot of fans carried out that 2 years of being in the hardest group is alot to deal with, and although they feel that way much of the public showed more than, they showed our players readiness and our teams readiness.

"Every game is either lost or won" said the coach in presenting the team of WC20, "we do not wish to either be part of or associate with a losing record this years" he added, there has been alot of heated debate about the teams chances however it hard it might seem, Hiiraan is both ready and accepts the challange of our critics and bewildered fans.

Group 9

The First Drawn member of Group nine is:

The Eagles Nest:

This Team is Currently ranked 7th and is known for his excellent defense, the coaches have been fired and hired but the cnsistency of the team remains, they have been close to winning the WC and control their own cup which is hailed by alot of WC members and most of all the WCC members, they are a challange that we are ready for.

Squornshelous:

We do not know alot about this team, however we do know that they are one of the hardest teams to beat, we have no record with them and it should be interesting to see how we play our first match against them.


Liverpool England:

Ranked 24th, Liverpool England is one of the hardest and most challanging teams to go through, their rowdy fans and nice cheers makes them #1 in the hearts of some hiiranians, however they had a lossing record for the past few cups which makes them a target for upstes, we intend to get some upsets and accomplish this the goal of beating them.

The Weegies:

The only thing we know about them is they are ranked 39th, nothing more, so we should stop there

Kingsford:

KingsFord is one of the oldest teams still part of the WCC and is both identified as Challanging team and a team that uses more less as brains as they use their players, they have not participated in former WC cups.

Hiiraan:

put your own sentence here ]

Ratviba and Anaetus Rising:

we do not much about this team, however we dont underestimate them as we feel we will win against them.



Group 9
The Eagles Nest ::7::
Squornshelous ::12::
Liverpool England ::24::
The Weegies ::39::
Kingsford ::53::
Hiiraan ::75::
Ratvipa ::110::
Anaetus Rising ::150::
Kingsford
13-01-2005, 03:24
"Ello? Ello? Is this bloody thing on? Is it flush? Ah, bollocks. Where's the on switch? I got a bit of a problem 'ere, Bruno, can you spare a moment? Yeh, I need to make a broadcast, but the bloody thing won't come about. Oh, it's been on? Well, bollocks. I mean...

'Ello! My name is Henry Tuck. I am the official Sponsor, Manager, Owner, and Coach of the Kingsforder Football team for World Cup 20. Now, you may have been wondering, where the bloody 'ell 'ave we been the two prior cups? I'll tell you where... 'Olland! Yeh, marv'lous 'Olland, with its c'reening windmills and bookay of fine aged cheeses. But now we've digressed back to this grand world cup, and we're ready to play some footb'l! With me at the helm, it's practic'ly win win, eh?

Now, you may remember my rather superfl'oos crim'nal record. It's not yet left, but I'm aiming to dodge the authoritees the remaind'r of this 'ere cup. I'm wanted in bloody 17 countries and 2 principalities. Can you believe an 'onist feller like me would 'ave that big of a crim'nal record? Its tripe, bollocks at best.

Ennyways, joining me 'ere is Bruno Fest, my mate who also 'appens to be the foarwerd on my football team, 'Enry Tuck's The Kingsford Gondoliers! Welcome Bruno!"

"Who the 'ell are you!?"

"Err.. Ah, bollocks. You're not Bruno."

"Bloody straight I'm not, you twat. Why am I in this raid'yo stood'yo ennyways?"

"Well wot's yerr name, sir?"

"Lissin, I think it'd be best if I jest left now and we went arr sep'rit ways, eh mate?"

"Look, yerr not leevin' 'nless I git yerr name, so flush up, mate, give us yerr name, eh?"

"Err... a 'ell wit it. I'm the form'r sheriff of Crimpton Canty."

"Bloody ell!!"

"Yeh, Mr. Tuck. R'membr me, do yeh now?"

"I thot yerr was in an asilam!"

"I wes in an asilam--"

"Well how'd you not be in an asilam now?!?"

"--I 'scaped."

"Wot are yerr doing in meh raid'yo stood'yo?!"

"Mr. Tuck, I've a propousel"

"Eh propousel?"

"Eh propousel Mr. Tuck."

"Bollocks. Alreet, yeh twat. Wot's yerr propousel?"

"A'll drop all the charges if yerr let me see some football"

"You can wotch it on the telly"

"I want box seets, yer twat!"

"Alreet, I'll get yer yer bocks seets. End no mer charges?"

"No mer charges."

"In all the countries?"

"In all the countries."

"Wot about the principalities?"

"Ferget about them, 'Enry. They jest went atenshun. But I'm wernin' yer, if I dunnit get meh box seets, yer'l pey, 'Enry. yer'l pey weeth yer life."

"Bollocks. Well, join me, 'Enry Tuck, next time on 'Etter Ded ten Red Raid'yo, as I cov'r The Kingsford Gondoliers! Goudnite!"
Squornshelous
13-01-2005, 04:55
Group 9
The Eagles Nest ::7::
Squornshelous ::12::
Liverpool England ::24::
The Weegies ::39::
Kingsford ::53::
Hiiraan ::75::
Ratvipa ::110::
Anaetus Rising ::150::


About to begin its 16th World Cup, Squornshelous finds itself in Group 9, along with some old aquaintances. Group favorites The Eagles Nest were one of the teams favored over Squornshelous that the Pschychoes dispatched en route to their historic Second Place finish in World Cup XV. Liverpool England was present in the World CUp XVII Group one debacle, moving on with D2R while favored Squornshelous and Eauz were left behind. We have lost count of the times Squornshelous and the Weegies have been in qualifying groups together. Kingsford were noted as being very ungracious losers after being defeated by Squornshelous 4-0 in the second round, and were the first to apply the now very popular nickname of "Stupidheads" to the Pschychoes. Squornshelous and Antaeus rising have little history, but have met a few times before. We have never played Hiiraan or Ratvipa.
Sarzonia
13-01-2005, 06:02
Stars react to draw, prepare

Fresh off their first-ever trip to the World Cup finals in Turori, the Sarzonian national team is trying to set the stage for a return to the game's greatest stage. For the team to do that, they will have to get past a mostly new group of teams and one familiar foe.

"Well, we're certainly not used to going into Group 10," Coach Dave Wilson joked. "Something must be in that Starblaydi water.

"Our group's not the toughest we could have been in so that's fortunate," Wilson said. "Total n Utter Insanity is a strong football team but a couple of our guys have Under 21 experience so that will help them be familiar with the sights and sounds when we play there. The Woodstock lads will be familiar with any of the Giants players after the Champions League and Fmjphoenix is in our region.

The Stars played the Vikings twice, both times in the 10th Cup of Harmony, but forward and team captain Brian Wilson is telling players to forget about those matches.

"That was before they really established themselves as footballers," Brian Wilson said. "They might as well be a totally different team now."

Sarzonia will face the four lowest seeds in the first four matches of the tournament to start things off and Dave Wilson said the team needs to get off to a great start.

"We've got to make sure we get as many [standings] points as we can early. There's no telling when a loss or a draw against a lower seed is going to come back to bite you later." Dave Wilson added that the team's tendency to slump in the second half of qualifying added to his concerns.

"Absolutely. When you just miss qualifying for the finals by one game in each of the first three World Cup qualifying campaigns, you begin to wonder if there's something you're doing wrong. We almost missed out again last time out. We're probably going to have to go over mental reps more than physical in the second half of the Cup."
Praying2God
13-01-2005, 07:49
**A man steps up to a podium and tests the microphone to see if it is on**

Is this working??? It is? Good.

As many of you know, my name is Paul Johnson, and I have been given the honor of serving as the head coach of our national soccer team as we return to the World Cup after a long absence. We have no records from our previous World Cups, so we have no idea who we played or how we did against them.

The draw for World Cup XX has now been announced so I am here to talk about what knowledge we have about the rest of our group.

We have been drawn into Group 3 for the qualifying stage of WC XX. Our group consists of the following:

Crystilakere (ranked 3rd): They're the defending WC Champions, and will be nearly impossible for us to earn any points from in this WC. We hope to be able to contend with them in the future.

Iansisle (14th): I was talking to one of the oldest people in Praying2God yesterday, and he said that he had a vague recollection of us playing against a nation by this name back when we played before. He remembered that we didn't have very much success against them. They will also be very tough for us to beat.

Jeruselem (27th): That same old man had recollections that there was a nation by this name that started competing about the same time we did. However, we have no way to prove that. From what I have picked up from talking with some of the other head coaches from around the world, they tend to be underachievers. Which means that there is a remote chance that we'll be able to take points from them.

Legalese (40th)
Eystrck (50th): I have no idea who these nations are, but considering their ranks it would not be out of the question for us to earn some points against these teams.

South Osettia (73rd): Ahh, yes. Our U21 teams are ranked very close to each other, however we have never actually met on the field. We should be quite competitive against them.

Praying2God (110th): I'm not going to say anything more about us until I take questions.

Nevigrad (122nd): Apparently another newcomer. We should be able to beat them, but we can't go in overly confident, especially when we travel to their place, or they could embarass us.

Any questions?

**reporters start blurting out questions**

What style of play will we employ? We will try to employ a defensive style to hopefully keep the score respectable, and give us a chance to earn points. I expect that we will have a hard time scoring in this WC.

How does it feel to be in the same group as the defending WC Champions? I relish the challenge, but it's a very tough challenge for us in our first WC after being away for a long time.

What do I expect from my team? All I expect from my team is that they play hard, give it their best effort, and don't get too down on themselves when we struggle. I expect that they will play solid defense, that will shut down, or at least slow down, some of the better teams in our group.

Do I expect that we'll qualify for the WC finals? **laughs** I'd be lying if I said that I haven't dreamed about the possibility, but it's not a realistic one in this WC. History and the odds are against us. We will most likely finish near the bottom of our group. Hopefully, we'll be able to keep things entertaining and establish a good reputation for the future.

What are my predictions for our group? I'm not going to make any predictions about our group, or any other group. We're going to have a tough enough time, we don't need to provide any motivation for our opponents.

That's all the time I have, folks. We'll have another press conference in a day or two to discuss our schedule for WC XX qualifying. Thank you and God bless you all.
Liverpool England
13-01-2005, 08:11
Will insert RP later. A note to the hosts: It is spelt Antaeus Rising.

EDIT: IC:

Liverpool England drawn with Squournshelous, Hiiraan
The Philosophers have been drawn in Group Nine of the World Cup 20 qualifiers, and with them in the group, Squornshelous and Hiiraan. Squornshelous are no stranger to Liverpool England, Liverpool Englnd managed to knock Squornshelous out at the group stage twice before, in World Cup 8 on the way to lifting the trophy, and World Cup 17 on the way to finishing fourth. Hiiraan, meanwhile, are strangers to the Liverpool England team. However, the two nations are no strangers, with both FAs being entangled in controversy in the past. Also worth looking out for are The Weegies, who could mount a serious challenge, and The Eagles Nest, top seeded in the group.

Ha~e Hangila: "I expect [the team] to finish second, with The Eagles Nest and The Weegies qualifying in first and third."

Paul Dussis: "Well, I've looked the group over, and it is a tough one. I expect we'll make it behind The Eagles Nest and Squornshelous."

Ralph Sirx: "Second. Nothing about it. Squornshelous and Hiiraan will qualify."

Syku Lyku: "First. That is my aim. I do not care who else makes it, as long as we finish on top."
Fmjphoenix
13-01-2005, 09:41
Fmjphoenix Vikings ready for tough run in Group 10

Lights are on late in the Vikings Sports Training Complex in Vanguard, the sport capitol of Fmjphoenix. The reason for these late lights were due to the Vikings working extremely hard in order to be in pristine shape for World Cup XX. Fmjphoenix has only been in the World Cup since the 18th installment of the Nationstates World Cup, but has exited early in every tournament except 2. The FSSC (Fmjphoenix Sports Statistics Center) has compiled a detailed listing for Fmjphoenix's run in the World Cup since it entered in the Baptism of Fire for World Cup XVIII.

Baptism of Fire Pre-WC18:
MD1: Fmjphoenix 3 - Legalese 2
MD2: Somalialand 0 - Fmjphoenix 1
MD3: Fmjphoenix 1 - Nova Britannicus 0
QF: Fmjphoenix 0 - The Smoking Pits 1

Record: 3-0-1 | GS: 5 | GA: 3

World Cup XVIII Qualifying:
MD01: Kaze Progressa 5 - Fmjphoenix 1
MD02: Fmjphoenix 1 - Snub Nose 38 1
MD03: Qia 3 - Fmjphoenix 3
MD04: Fmjphoenix 1 - The Eagles Nest 2
MD05: Krytenia 2 - Fmjphoenix 0
MD06: Fmjphoenix 1 - Spurland 1
MD07: Fmjphoenix 2 - Ashibot 0
MD08: Fmjphoenix 0 - Kaze Progressa 2
MD09: Snub Nose 38 1 - Fmjphoenix 2
MD10: Fmjphoenix 1 - Qia 2
MD11: The Eagles Nest 2 - Fmjphoenix 1
MD12: Fmjphoenix 3 - Krytenia 1
MD13: Spurland 2 - Fmjphoenix 1
MD14: Ashibot 0- Fmjphoenix 0

Record: 3-4-7 | GS: 17 | GA: 24

Cup of Harmony X:
MD1: Sarzonia 4 - Fmjphoenix 0
MD2: Fmjphoenix 3 - Legalese 3
MD3: Fmjphoenix 2 - The Gulf States 1
QF: Sarzonia 5 - Fmjphoenix 2

Record: 1-1-2 | GS: 7 | GA: 13

World Cup XIX Qualifying:
MD01: The Eagles Nest 2 - Fmjphoenix 2
MD02: -Bye-
MD03: One Red Dot 2 - Fmjphoenix 1
MD04: Fmjphoenix 0 - Melmond 6
MD05: Fmjphoenix 4 - Kipto-Mare 0
MD06: Lennon Marx 0 - Fmjphoenix 2
MD07: Fmjphoenix 2 - Phanazia 3
MD08: Fmjphoenix 1 - The Eagles Nest 0
MD09: -Bye-
MD10: Fmjphoenix 0 - One Red Dot 0
MD11: Melmond 2 - Fmjphoenix 0
MD12: Kipto Mare 0 - Fmjphoenix 2
MD13: Fmjphoenix 2 - Lennon Marx 0
MD14: Phanazia 1 - Fmjphoenix 2

Record: 6-2-4 | GS: 18 | GA: 16

Cup of Harmony XI:
MD01: Haperd 0 - Fmjphoenix 1
MD02: -Bye-
MD03: Fmjphoenix 1 - Big Pimento 1
MD04: Kylaai 0 - Fmjphoenix 3
MD05: Lethislavania 1 - Fmjphoenix 0
MD06: Lykaia 3 - Fmjphoenix 0
MD07: Fmjphoenix 2 - Oaker 1

Record: 3-1-2 | GS: 7 | GA: 6

Complete Compiled Stats:
| Wins: 16 | Draw: 8 | Lose: 16 | Goals Scored: 54 | Goals Against: 62 |

Percentages (out of 40 played matches)
Win = 40%
Draw = 20%
Lose = 40%

Well, now how about we take a gander at what the competition in Group 10 looks like.

Group Ten:
Total n Utter Insanity ::5::
Bedistan ::18::
Sarzonia ::30::
Fmjphoenix ::43::
Haperd ::54::
Qia ::76::
Ninurta ::110::
Nouveau Richelieu ::150::

Total n Utter Insanity: Fmjphoenix and TnUI have only meet on the U21WC stage, and it was in the U21WC8 Finals with TnUI winning to the tune of 4-3. But this is the senior squad and is the top seed in Group Ten. No senior squad match-ups until the first ones in this cup happen. Should be fun to watch.

Bedistan: Never faced them, but Fmjphoenix knows it is a top team still. Co-hosted WCXVIII with Eauz, the Vikings inagural cup. Second seed in the cup, should produce tough and fun to watch matches.

Sarzonia: Had the Vikings number in CoH Ten, as they outscored them a total 9-2 in two matches. The Vikings have a grudge from both losses and are looking for a chance to beat up on the regional rivals and third seed.
Previous matches:
Sarzonia 4 - Fmjphoenix 0
Sarzonia 5 - Fmjphoenix 2

Fmjphoenix: Fourth seed in its group for the second cup in a row. Pegged as the possible group rocker.

Haperd: Very brief history, short meeting in Cup of Harmony XI with a Viking victory. Fifth seed and will probably finish there.
Previous matches:
Haperd 0 - Fmjphoenix 1

Qia: Could be a problem for Fmjphoenix. World Cup 18 qualifying saw Qia and Fmjphoenix play twice with the edge going to Qia with a draw and win. That was then, this is now. Sixth seed, but could still hold previous expierence over the Vikings.
Previous matches:
Qia 3 - Fmjphoenix 3
Fmjphoenix 1 - Qia 2

Ninurta & Nouveau Richelieu: Seventh and eigth seeds in Group 10. have not played either and so they should be victorys for the Vikings. Nothing is garunteed though.

One thing to notice is that semi-rival The Eagles Nest is not in the same group with Fmjphoenix for the first time in the Vikings three world cup entries. It could be a good thing for the Vikings as out of the four matches, they have only won a single one against TEN, but the Vikings shall still have their hands full with the teams above them in the ranks. It is tough to predict a possible winner, but, to take it from Vilita, it could be any of the top four teams. Could this be the Vikings year? or are they doomed for another fourth place finish? Be prepared for a fun and exciting run to the finals!
Praying2God
13-01-2005, 10:11
**Paul Johnson steps up to the microphone**

Alright everybody, we now have our schedule for WC XX qualifying. Our schedule is as follows:

at Jerusalem (27)
vs. Iansisle (14)
at Crystilakere (3)
vs. Legalese (40)
vs. Nevigrad (122)
vs. South Osettia (73)
at Eystrck (50)
vs. Jerusalem (27)
at Iansisle (14)
vs. Crystilakere (3)
at Legalese (40)
at Nevigrad (122)
at South Osettia (73)
vs. Eystrck (50)

As you can clearly see, we get the misfortune of getting the top three seeds in our group in the first three matches, and two of those are on the road. We will have to fight to avoid being demoralized before we play Legalese in our fourth match. If we can avoid being shutout in those first three matches, it will do wonders for our confidence, especially if we can earn points on the road. Any questions?

**reporters start blurting out questions**

Does the schedule help or hurt my team? It'd be hard to say that any schedule we could have gotten would have helped us. We're like David fighting an army of Goliaths.

Won't playing the best teams early be a good preparation for the teams closer to our skill level? It's a double-edged sword, really. The talent level of our opposition may drop off after that, but our confidence level may take a drop too.

With such a young squad can we expect to win any matches? Youth can be a blessing in a situation like this. They may not realize that they shouldn't win because of a lack of experience. They're out there with nothing to lose, which actually could provide a scare to our opponents.

Is it ironic that our first match is against another nation that is more religious than most? It could be considered ironic. I also consider it a blessing in disguise, because if they really are a religious nation, then they should play a clean game, so we won't have to worry about them causing any injuries to our players and we'll see a clean, well-fought match.

Still no predictions? Still no predictions.

Thank you everybody, but I need to go prepare for our match in Jerusalem.


OOC-I won't do this very often, but this post provided a good opportunity to do it.

Things/people ripped off in this post:
the Bible
"Miracle"
Giant Zucchini (I hope that non-noobs don't have to ask me to explain this one :p )
Audioslavia
13-01-2005, 14:27
Things/people ripped off in this post:
the Bible
"Miracle"
Giant Zucchini (I hope that non-noobs don't have to ask me to explain this one :p )

ooc: Imana have to ask for an explanation, it was I who started doing the 'stuff-ripped-off-in-this-post' list first :p :)

IC:

'Slaves Drawn in Classic Group
Giant Zucchini? Spaam? Snub Nose 38? What year is this?


1: Audioslavia
21: One Red Dot
29: Wella
42: Snub Nose 38
55: Spaam
78: Giant Zucchini
102:East Lithuania
150:San Verdi


Thirty years ago, if you'd have told an Audioslavian that their qualifying group would contain Spaam, Giant Zucchini, One Red Dot and Snub Nose 38, he would have jumped off a cliff. If you had told him that the 'slaves were ranked number one in the world, he wouldhave thrown YOU off a cliff.

Nevertheless, thanks to a trend in once-great nations (and Snub Nose 38)coming back for another bite at the cherry, the 'slaves have been drawn with three of the only four nations which have been playing football for longer than the 'slaves.

Giant Zucchini were winning world cups whilst Audioslavia's footballers were watching it on television, taking World Cup 3 over gone and almost-forgotten side Crosshill. GZ and Audioslavia however, have never played each other.

The second of the older teams, Spaam, has an all too familiar record of games with Audioslavia. The 'slaves have played sides from Spaam/East Spaam a total of TEN times, with the 'slaves coming out on top just twice, both in WC9 qualifying.

The third side is Snub Nose 38, whom the 'slaves last faced six years ago, beating them in the second round of WC18 1-0.

Another of the old-fogey sides is One Red Dot who, in World Cup 5, gave the 'slaves a 3-0 butt-bashing to effectively dump them out of the competition before it had really even begun. That is the only recorded result between the two sides.

As you can see, going with the historical aspect, the 'slaves hopes are dim, but when you consider that Snub Nose 38 are ranked 42nd, Spaam are ranked 55th, and Giant Zucchini are ranked a record-low , things start to look up. Spaam and Giant Zucchini aren't the same sides that got them to two world cup finals each, and Snub Nose 38 aren't the same side as they were when they were ranked in the top 10. Though they haven't been the same side for about 300 years now. Looking at the rankings, neither of the above sides really pose a thread, especially with the NSWCC ranking Audioslavia as the best side in the world today. The main competition should come from One Red Dot, STOP, with [i]Wella being rated as being between two times and three times as good as the ex-big-guns.

Many expect the 'slaves to cruise the group, and they may well do, but they are going to have to overcome three of the biggest names in football history to do it. Even if they are just 'names' now.

Its an impossible group to predict, as no reporter in their right mind would go to rank, and no one really knows if GZ, ORD, SN38 or Spaam really have it in them anymore to dominate. Had this been thirty years ago you'd expect the 'slaves, the spaamanians, the zucchinis, the red dottians and the SN38ers to give us an epic struggle for the first three places, but with things being as they are now one would expect at least two of these big five sides to falter. Whether that leaves the other three to qualify, or Wella to sneak in again, is almost impossible to predict.
Cockbill Street
13-01-2005, 14:54
"We never seem to get in groups with people who actually bother," Helen Carpenter sighed, as they proceeded out to the big banquet following the World Cup draw.

"It could have been worse," Thor Axewielder said. "After all - we could have got teams like Rejistania..."

"On the way down,"

"Druida..."

"Hosting the u'ruth'ahani thing!"

"The Belmore Family..."

"In the same pot,"

"Audioslavia..."

"We've beaten them before..."

"Giant Zucchini!"

"Eh, even Nonesuch beats them now."

"Is there anyone you do rate?"

"Yeah...Dance 2 Revolution are pretty good. Unfortunately they're in our group and never bother to post anything remotely like a squad. Fun, fun, fun."

"At least the only challengers are Oddslavo and Big Pimento."

"Oddslavo were two points away from us last year..." Helen shuddered, "and Big Pimento is due a good season."

"Never be positive, eh?"

"Well, there's Kipto-Mare. That should be a walk at least. Korinthos and Aust, those are promising too, maybe a few newspaper battles."

"Do you ever agree with what I say?"

"No!"

[shameless plug]Cockbill Street G'irgah (Coach) Elections (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=389019) - Vote Now! (or Kansu Lyku will win)[/shameless plug]
Rejistania
13-01-2005, 15:20
The draw ofd the groups went smoothly, but it did not really happen in front of the public, the group draw was this time done in a back room in Jhanna while the results were presentated with large cermonial, which was called a draw. but since there are no signs of any fixing, we do not care. If you remember that the draw in World Cup 16 was done by Brazillican representatives and simply send as letter to the FAs, you feel glad about the ceremony to please the yellow press. The Group the Orange-Blues are is is:

Group 1
Rejistania ::4::
Eauz ::15::
Shonar Bangla ::33::
Krytenia ::35::
Oceaice ::47::
Pterodactyl ::77::
Lamoni ::91::
Limp Wristed Fish ::118::

Reactions from the Rejis:

Siki Rej: (coach of the national team) Bah, I asked for a strong coffee, that is pure water! What I expect? How do I know, I did not ask Hexatux yet... No, I can not ask her since I am rewriting something... Of course, in 5 minutes!

Hangila Sede: (first lentine (head of state) of Rejistania) I think the Orange-Blues have to work hard to show that they can make the disgrace from World Cup 19 forgotten... I know that fans often assume that it never took place, but as head of tate, I can not say it never took place, even not as personal opinion. I assume that the Orange-Blues finish first or second, yes, of course in qualifying, I can not predict the cup.

Teke Daran: (president of the ASR) I think the communist empire and the former 0:0 team are opponents, we have to take very seriously! It shows the dynamics of soccer that Shonar Bangla is suddenly a favorite for qualification, when we still remember dispatching them in world cup 11, but that is the way things work. There are no Walkovers in international soccer anymore... (he mutters quietly) except Ravea!

Sirake Tekim: (former radio commentator) Hejida, readers! Limp Wristed Fish? What a joke! Even I never heard of them and that has to mean something. Lamoni? Doesn't that mean 'trash them' in isesi? Pterodactyl? Since they are not allowed to fly, they are a weak team, really weak! Oceaice? They improved, I know, they are no walkover anymore but can still be defeated..., Krytenia? Finally a country, which cares about their national team! they, as well as Shonar Bangla and Eauz will be our opponents!

Elin Ri: (former radio commentator) You crazy? Sorry readers for having to read this optimism, which is unfortunately not at all related to the real situation! Come on! this team is weak and Hexatux is a bug ridden piece of software! At least in the cups before, we had a coach, who knew something about soccer, now we have a programmer and a computer as coach, for <bleeeep>'s sake! We can be glad if we finish ahead of the last position! and our team is mostly the disappointments from 19!

Siki Rej: Don't call the software bug-ridden!

Elin Ri: Of sorry, I didn't see you here!
Talzeckia
13-01-2005, 15:24
Tides hope to crest tough draw

For Avid Mashoda and the coaching staff of the nascent Talzeckian entry into the 20th World Cup, the draw could not have gone much worse for them. Instead of facing the team representing their colonial masters in an unofficial referendum on independence, they will instead have to deal with the likes of eighth ranked Kaze Progressa, Svecia, and last year's darlings Adam Island.

"Facing Sarzonia would have been nice from the rivalry standpoint, but everything here's going to be new to us," Mashoda said in a press conference after the team's first training session just outside the Talzecki capital of Constantine. "But from a sporting perspective, it would take a miracle for us to beat them."

As a newly-established side facing some long-time teams, Mashoda and the rest of the team have no illusions about making a run to the World Cup finals. Gaining valuable experience and possibly some momentum to establish a Talzeckian league would be good enough goals for this team to accomplish.

But that doesn't mean the team won't try to win. The team has been studying tapes of Sarzonia's scoreless draw against Kaze Progressa and its previous matches against Kylaai hoping to gain some advantage, no matter how small. The team is going to implement a possession offense similar to Sarzonia's and will look to attack whenever possible. But whether the team can execute its offense is a different matter.

"We play the same system as Sarzonia, but that doesn't mean we do it as good," said Kerrin "Rock" Jones, the team's leading goalscorer during its exhibition season against Talzeckian college teams.

"They've had four World Cups, three Cups of Harmony, one Eagle Cup and the Baptism of Fire Cup to hone their offense," Mashoda said. "They've also been playing together for a long time. We've only had a few games together and we're still trying to learn each other's tendencies. But we'll see if those tapes can tell us anything about what we can do as a team."

Svecia and Adam Island will be the other teams that Talzeckia will likely look up to and pray they can get at least a draw out of one of those games, but Kylaai is the other team that will merit study of Sarzonia's matches.

"Sarzonia has had good success against Kylaai. Our best chance to beat one of the middle teams in our groups is probably there," Mashoda said.
Jeruselem
13-01-2005, 15:34
Jeruselem Government News

Same old faces in World Cup XX

Jeruselem are in World Cup 20. So what many may say? We were placed in Group 3 in XIX and guess the group, its Group 3 again. For XVIII and XIX, we had Crystilakere and Iansisle for company, and did things change for XX? No.

World Cup XIX

Group 3
Team: Iansisle ::3::
Team: Crystilakere ::20::
Team: Jeruselem ::27::
Team: Oceaice ::67::
Team: 7JM ::133::
Team: Lethislavania ::87::
Team: Runaway Moose ::150::

World Cup XX

Group 3
Crystilakere ::3::
Iansisle ::14::
Jeruselem ::27::
Legalese ::40::
Eystrck ::50::
South Osettia ::73::
Praying2God ::110::
Nevigrad ::122::

The rest of Group 3 are familiar with only Nevigrad being the unknown quantity. The dark horse would be Eystrck who have a habit of popping up unexpectedly while Legalese cannot be written off as well.

Last cup's coach David Becks retired and coach Rabbi Goldstein of U21s takes over this time. His assistant is his relative Mimi Goldstein who played World Cup 13 and 14 with his uncle.
One Red Dot
13-01-2005, 15:47
To: Alvin Ker (President) <a_ker@asword.gov.rd>
Cc: Jonathan Anterdon (King Mark FC) <anterdonj@kmfc.org.rd>, Edmund Lee (Dorona FC) <e_lee@doronafc.org.rd>, Josh Leeyen (Natodrid FC) <leeyenj@natodridfc.org.rd>, Winray Toh (Westshores FC) <wtoh@wsfc.org.rd>
From: Chris Gwee (WC Head Coach, Chisai'nihon FC) <cgwee@cnfc.org.rd>
Subject: WC20 Qualifying Draw
Sent at: 13 January whatever this year is, 2228h GMT


I am pleased to announce that the WC20 qualifying groups have been drawn. Our players have been drawn into Group 6 against #1 Audioslavia, #29 Wella, #42 Snub Nose 38, #55 Spaam, #78 Giant Zucchini, #102 East Lithuania and a newcomer, San Verdi. We are currently ranked 21.

Audioslavia will be a difficult one, despite defeating them 3-0 back in the WC5 qualifiers, but that was 60 years ago, now they are deemed champions. But we did drew former champions Rejistania last year, so you can never know how things can turn out.

We just met Wella in the previous cup where we defeated them 2-1 in Round 1 and also two wins against them back in WC14, although it might be tougher this time. We'd never know till the day comes.

We lost 0-2 against SN38 in the WC18 1st Round and even earlier records have shown that we had defeated them 1-0 way back in the WC4 qualifiers 64 years ago, but I don't think that will have any effect this time. Now, I wins against them are still plausible.

Spaam was an elusive one the previous WC. We did defeat them 3-1, but then the score was then nulled. Records show that we had played them in WC14, 15 and 16, winning, drawing and losing once each respectively. We expect wins here too.

We meet good ol' Giant Zucchini again in this WC. The past 9 meetings have been very eventful: beginning with losses during their heyday, which led to draws and then now the previous 3 meetings were won by us in WC13 and 14. More wins are expected here, but I won't be surprised by upsets from the sentient vegetables.

As for East Lithuania and San Verdi, this is our first meetings against them, but easy wins would be expected.
Eauz
13-01-2005, 16:16
Le LIBRE

20th anniversary of the Cup

Well if anyone can believe it, it has been 80 years since the 1st world cup occurred. Yesterday, the groups for qualifying were drawn, and Eauz was placed in the first group. Now if anyone follows the rhyme of “Zero the Hero, First the worst, etc…”, then that must mean that group 1 is the worst group. If it is or isn’t, it is up for debate, but Eauz was drawn into a group with a few known teams. For those who enjoyed the Rejis/Eauz match, well get ready for parts 3 and 4, as they are faced up against each other again. Shonar Bangla and Oceaice are familiar teams to Eauz too, as Shonar Bangla were in the last world cup, and almost advanced. As for Eauz as a team, they dropped in ranking from 13th to 15th, with a short stay at 9th. With the drop brings a drop in some of the team members and coaching staff. The new coach for Eauz will be Michël Joseuf, who if many remember, was a star for Eauz during World Cup 13 – 16. Eauz dropped Camus and Godenot and replaced them with reserves Vincent Lacavailler and Alexander Mendove. Joseuf believes that these two guys will improve the defence of the team, and really liked the way they played as they came on as reserves in the last world cup. Jocque Costé will take the place of Daintan who has some family matters to attend to, and retired from the national team.

Anyways, enough talking about Eauz, and time for some preview of the qualifying group.

Rejistania – The number 4 team in the world, despite having a bad run at the last cup, Rejistania is looking to contend this cup, as they retooled with some youth. Rejistania will also be looking to take revenge on Eauz, as Eauz had won against Rejistania at Rejistania during World Cup 19. For those who are fans of Football, this match is one not to miss. With the changes of both Rejistania and Eauz, look for Rejistania to be the one on top of group 1.
Predictions 1st in Group 1

Eauz – Eauz has retooled and is ready to rid themselves of this Margaret curse, which has been on them ever since winning the 13th world cup. The new manager and a few changes in the positions of players should help Eauz and their chances in the cup. Eauz will have to though, hope they can play better than their rank shows them to be, as Joseuf declared in a press meeting that his team will end up ranked at least in the top 8 by the end of the next cup.
Predictions 2nd in Group 1

Shonar Bangla – This team has proven it is a tough team, as it went into the last world cup, with a strong team. They almost qualified, but due to some point and goal difference reasons, they didn’t advance to the next round. This team should be a trouble for Eauz and Rejistania.
Predictions 3rd in Group 1.

Krytenia – Eauz has a memory of this team, but it is not very good. This team should be another one of those outsider teams who might be a problem is their team is organised. Look for this team to possibly contend for the 2nd or 3rd place position and advance to the next round.
Predictions 3rd or 4th in Group 1

Oceaice – This team is faint in the memory of Eauz, as Eauz remembers winning 4 – 2 aginast them the first meeting at Eauz and then Eauz won again against them in a match at Oceaice by a 2 – 0 score. Eauz is not sure about the current Oceaice team, but because we are so ignorant, we will assume Eauz takes both these matches anyways.

Pterodactyl, Lamoni, Limp Wristed Fish – We are not sure about these teams at all. We don’t even know if they have ever participated in a cup qualification before. Maybe they were just playing in the CoH, who knows. The only thing that is sure, is that Eauz will probably lose both matches against Limp Wristed Fish, because they will all be laughing and rolling around on the floor due to the name.

Group 1
Rejistania ::4::
Eauz ::15::
Shonar Bangla ::33::
Krytenia ::35::
Oceaice ::47::
Pterodactyl ::77::
Lamoni ::91::
Limp Wristed Fish ::118::


Match Day 1: Pterodactyl @ Eauz
Match Day 2: Eauz @ Lamoni
Match Day 3: Limp Wristed Fish @ Eauz
Match Day 4: Eauz @ Oceaice
Match Day 5: Eauz @ Rejistania
Match Day 6: Eauz @ Shonar Bangla
Match Day 7: Krytenia @ Eauz

Match Day 8: Eauz @ Pterodactyl
Match Day 9: Lamoni @ Eauz
Match Day 10: Eauz @ Limp Wristed Fish
Match Day 11: Oceaice @ Eauz
Match Day 12: Rejistania @ Eauz
Match Day 13: Shonar Bangla @ Eauz
Match Day 14: Eauz @ Krytenia
GT-R
13-01-2005, 17:01
Grand ciTy heRald

[International Sports News] GT-R would face a group of the world's best team after the draw, and Fuller already said that he would arrange sessions for the team, fans and media to "Curse our bad luck and wish for good luck". This coincides with Fuller's Vakara Faith, which makes cursing and wishing a centre of its belief.

GT-R would be placed in Group 7, with a number of able teams, like Kaze Progressa, Svecia, Adam Island and Kylaai. Slipsonia, Talzakia and rivals Royal Engrand would be in the mix.

Here comes the descriptions and predictions with respect of our team:

Kaze Progressa: Looked like that they would win in this group. Magnificantly gifted, full of confidence, experience-driven; you won't expect a newcomer to gain anything from this team.

Svecia: We have not very much information about them, but their ranking showed they have respectable strength. Won't be a good place to gain points from.

Adam Island: This nation uses lady players. Keeping the ball above the head, and trying to throw the ball to the extremes of the pitch would give our team a slight advantage.However, once the play is on the ground, it would be hard to keep the game airborne. They might also run out of luck, since they have made a suprising run very far into the game last season.

Slipsonia: They play football well. However, their skills are rumoured to be at our level.

Royal Engrand: One of the bums in this group. With magnificant records against them, there would be no way that we could lose any point against them.

Talzeckia: Seemed that we had a budding football community in this group. Bummer.

Fixtures:

Away at Svecia
Home vs Kaze Progressa (National Stadium, Grand City, Capacity: 85000 all-seater)
Away at Kylaai
Home vs Adam Island (Newcave, Yellowcliff, Capacity: 43500 all-seater)
Away at Sliponia
Away at Royal Engrand
Home vs Talzeckia (Flower Field, Port Cornell, Capacity: 38100,10000 seated)
Home vs Svecia (Skyline Stadium, Valda, Capacity: 71290 all-seater)
Away at Kaze Progressa
Home vs Kylaai (Steel Boulevard, Cruz, Capacity: 62000 all-seater)
Away at Adam Island
Home vs Sliponia (Blue Roost, Horseton, Capacity: 57100 all-seater)
Home vs Royal Engrand (Wings Park, Valda, Capacity: 60000 all-seater)
Away at Talzeckia (Tide Field, Talzeckia City)

Unfortunately, we have to face the best team first, and the give-aways would be there after we (might) have drindled down. Perhaps it might be a test; perhaps it would be a good practice for WCXXI. Or perhaps for CoH.

World Cup Special: Matthews' Column
From now on until the end of the cup, we would be grateful to invite Hoarce Matthews, our hero midfielder, to talk with us on the newspaper everyday, about the World Cup, domestic games, or anything about the game. All comments or responses shall be given to Grand City Hearld c/o T-Gram of GT-R.

Greetings to all readers, as you know I'm Matthews. The newspaper potrayed myself as a hero, but I never assumed that. I scored, since I like to score, and I could score. I played well, since I like to play well, and I could play well. Between you and I, it is a fact that every footballer want to be the same. In addition, what about the defenders? Took Rae as an example, he never got himself onto the scoresheet in any first team games, but he is also a good player, and I always regard him as a good mentor. Why? He's a defender.

Back to business. The draw was taken out, and we aren't the luckiest. Greg introduced his religion into the game, but I think we would fare better working out our next match. Anyway, out next match is against Svecia. They seemed to be a respectable team, with good players and rankings. A plus for them is that they would play in their own turf. Lets hope that we would show our potential against them, showing that we are ones to be noticed. And hope that someone, or myself scored for us.
Aust
13-01-2005, 17:33
[12:00 PM, ASB Sports, Football First]

Hello, and welcome to football first, the only football programm on Austian television, most of the media spotlight has been on Austs Rugby Teams demise from RWC 2, but they seem to have missed the most important event of the week, the announcement of Austs World Cup team, here's Steve to give you, what he thinks are Austs starting 11.


Thanks Bill, Austs starting 11 are pritty easly annoynced, they speak for themselves, all play for Notting Forest FC, Austs only non-Amerture Football team, and here they are.

Goalkeeper
1) Peter Shilton

Who else could it be? With 110 caps, he is still only 41 and wil be around for a while yet.

Left Defender:
4) Stuart Peace
Phycho. This nickname is justified, the strongest tackler in Austs Premier Devision

Right Defence:
2) Matthew Louis-Jean
Consistant, will never let you down, but he is again unfortuntly. His pace is still there though


CD:
3) Richard Nolan
5) Wes Morgan
Both Center backs are simillar, both employ the same style of 'we'll bite yer legs off football.'


LM: 7) Andy Reid
Wand. Trickery and skill are his game, but ebing the best player on the team he trieds to do to much and has earned the nickname 'gReidy'

RM: 6) Andy Imply
He's big he's round and he'll send Aust down. Goin on 50, with a pot belly, he won't give anyone a run for there money, but still he can run, unlike most Austian footballers.

CM: 8) Ian Storyly Moore
Top goalscore in the Premier League, he's still a great player, he was a Liverpool Streeten but has just qualified for Austian citizenship.

CM: 9) Gary Birtles
Cool carm and confident, a great player and talent, but still young, the youngest player in the squad at 12.


FC: David Johnson
Quick nippy, but since breaking his leg last may has lost some of his pace.

FC: Nigel Clough
A good player but still not good enough to be in the squad in my opionion, he's in because his dads the manager.
Manager: Brian Clough
Aust
13-01-2005, 17:37
Okay and now Steve can you give us a idea of our teams chances?

Low I'm afraid Mick. Where the only team in the group with mainly amiture players, and I think we'll end up at the bottom of the group. We may get a goal or to, but there won't be much for the travelling Austian fans to cheer. Thin 3-0 dubbing and things like that, still we only have 20 travllers so you know, it won't be that bad.


And our group Steve?

Well, in short we've got the number 2 seats.

Ah...okay then.....Join us next time of Football First.
Snub Nose 38
13-01-2005, 17:38
*we find ourselves, to our dismay, in a place that only a truly benevolent individual could describe as anything but disgusting, filthy, and unfit for human habitation. an alley - one that can only be accessed from another alley - in the slums of the city of sten. well, the slums of the slums, really. the lower rent district looks like the taj mahal by comparison. what are we doing here? a sudden movement to our left startles us. we jump to the right, heart fluttering, prepared for flight, and look over our shoulder at...

not possible...

is it...?

a figure rises out of a pile of damp cardboard boxes. a shredded, mud-encrusted midnight blue cape over tattered and dirty patched burgundy robes. a broken eagle feather attached by bailing string to a scruffy little leather pouch. and...half a battered old rubber chicken.

...no...

o - - - my - - - gosh...*

- What're you looking at, ya little dweeb?

*another nearby pile of wet cardboard heaves. from somewhere beneath the damp mass comes...*

- Rude. Why must you always...
- Not talkin' to you, pea-brain.
- Oh...well, who are you referring to as a "little dweeb", then?
- We've got a visitor, bub.
- A visitor? Who?
- No clue. Hey - who in great bloody blue blazes are you, dweeb?

*the second pile of filthy cardboard parts, exposing...um...the minister of...well, you know...*

- That the dweeb?
- Yes, that's the dweeb, ya little pinhead.
- Well, then. You heard the question. Who are you, dweeb?

*we think it best to hold the rest of this discussion in private. we politely ask the aspn camera crew to leave. they seem a bit hesitant, until our "new" friend in the midnight blue hooded tatters provides them with some verbal and physical encouragement to depart. they depart. we will get back to you with whatever information comes out of this...er...meeting a little later, once we've had a chance to sort it all out.*
Sarzonia
13-01-2005, 18:06
Schedules announced for Stars, Tides

Below are the matchday schedules for both Sarzonia and its colony Talzeckia, which has declared independence from Sarzonia but the parent country has yet to acknowledge the declaration one way or the other.

Sarzonia Stars
1: vs. Ninurta (@ Iron Bowl, Portland Somerset)
2: @ Nouveau Richelieu
3: v. Haperd (@ Round Table, Nicksia Benatar)
4: @ Qia
5: v. Fmjphoenix (@ Snake Pit, Saugerties, Syosset)
6: v. Bedistan (@ Hendrix Stadium, Woodstock)
7: @ TnUI
8: @ Ninurta
9: v. Nouveau Richelieu (@Tigers Den, Tacoma, Truxtun)
10: @ Haperd
11: v. Kia (@ The Palestra, Woodstock)
12: @ Fmjphoenix
13: @ Bedistan
14: v. TnUI (@ Hendrix)

Talzeckia Tides
1: @ Kylaai
2: v. Adam Island (@ Tide Field, Talzeckia City)
3: @ Svecia
4: @ Kaze Progressa
5: @ Royal Engrand
6: v. Sliponia (@ Tide Field)
7: @ GT-R
8: v. Kylaai (@ Tide Field)
9: @ Adam Island
10: v. Svecia (@ Colonial Park, Constantine - so named because it's not the National Stadium just yet)
11: v. Kaze Progressa (@ Colonial Park)
12: v. Royal Engrand (@ Tide Field)
13: @ Sliponia
14: v. GT-R (@ Tide Field)
Total n Utter Insanity
13-01-2005, 18:15
Thirty years ago, if you'd have told an Audioslavian that their qualifying group would contain Spaam, Giant Zucchini, One Red Dot and Snub Nose 38, he would have jumped off a cliff. If you had told him that the 'slaves were ranked number one in the world, he wouldhave thrown YOU off a cliff.

OOC: Heh.

IC:
Some sleep with your fries?
9 out of 10 fmjphoenoxen that have trouble sleeping use melmand newspapers to get to sleep.

During the latest study into insomnia, in fmjphoenix, Melmond scored very highly, putting 88.8% of sufferers into a coma within 20 minutes. Rejistania scored very badly, making 33.3% have suicidal feelings and 16.7% kill themselves. In other news I've been awake for a week and just read the KaMaRi Update...
Fmjphoenix
13-01-2005, 18:39
Vikings staff compiles schedule, has hard games last

Coach Wash and company sat and looked at their schedule after they filled in the blanks from the form given by the hosts. What looked back at them was low teams first, high teams last. What does that mean? The first four matches are the teams ranked lower than Fmjphoenix, the last three are higher. That would mean that the Vikings need to build early momentum to help get them through the tough matches that will await them in Sarzonia, TnUI, and Bedistan. Coach Wash seemed optamistic about coming out of the first four matches unblemished. These were his remarks,

"If we can win three of the first four matches, I will be happy. That should be good to help us get through the tougher matches. We need to preform well early on so we can ride momentum. The more wins we get, the harder it will be to stop us."

MD01: Fmjphoenix vs. Nouveau Richelieu
MD02: Fmjphoenix @ Haperd
MD03: Fmjphoenix vs. Qia
MD04: Fmjphoenix @ Ninurta
MD05: Fmjphoenix @ Sarzonia
MD06: Fmjphoenix vs. Total n Utter Insanity
MD07: Fmjphoenix @ Bedistan
MD08: Fmjphoenix @ Noveau Richelieu
MD09: Fmjphoenix vs. Hapred
MD10: Fmjphoenix @ Qia
MD11: Fmjphoenix vs. Ninurta
MD12: Fmjphoenix vs. Sarzonia
MD13: Fmjphoenix @ Total n Utter Insanity
MD14: Fmjphoenix vs. Bedistan

All of the Fmjphoenix home games shall be played in Viking Stadium, in Vanguard, Fmjphoenix. In other news...

Who is your favorite trout target?

In recent days, some fmjphoecians have been seen running around with large trouts, slapping such entities as Total n Utter Insanity and Rejistania. When polled, 8 out of 10 slapperes preferred to use rainbow trout over standard large trout. 6% of all slappers read Melmond newspapers and it made them slap each other into deep comas. In a documented video, one slapper slapped himself to death after reading a slani newspaper from Rejistania. It was not a pretty site. When asked who was their favorite person to slap, 7 out of 10 stated Rejistania was their favorite trout target. Why? Because he stole the Golden Cafetiere which we rightfully stole from Krytenia. Next up at 10, more Melmond newspapers, big hits with the retirement citizens...
Snub Nose 38
13-01-2005, 19:37
Scuttlebutt – Special Sports Edition

Who-ligans Road to World Cup XX
Sten Remington Grey

Well, sports fans, it’s been four years since the Qualifying Stage of World Cup 19 got underway, and almost eight years now since the national side of the Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38, the Hooligans played an international match. Just last night the Qualifying Groups for World Cup 20 were announced. The Hooligans have been drawn into some tough competition in Group 6.

The “Who-ligans”, you say? Me, too. During WC 18 your Hooligans were a bunch of clowns. Well, not clowns so much as cartoon characters. Either way, the play of those “Who-ligans” didn’t really impress. Failed to qualify. Well, what can you expect with cartoon characters managed by octogenarians? Not much – which is what we got.

Hooligans version WC.19 were…well…basically absent. The Frost-Free Borderlands withdrew from WC19 after the first match or two – for which we again fielded the same cartoon characters managed by the aforementioned octogenarians. Not too impressive, although it could accurately be said of the WC19 Hooligans “we hardly knew ye.”

And just who-ligan are we fielding for WC XX? (We’re editorially fooling around with “WC 20” and “WC XX” to see how things flow. Please disregard our blatant lack of uniformity in that regard). We have no clue. Does anybody know?

Well – to say we have no clue is a slight exaggeration. We do have a clue. We’ve got it on good authority from an unimpeachable source who refuses to be named (well, they said we could call them “Deep Throat” – but that’s been done) that the Minister of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages has been seen scribbling a list of footballers to make up the side on a piece of a cereal box.

Some clue…

I mean, really. No ones’ even seen the Minister for 6 years. His offices at the Ministry Building have been converted into a cafeteria and a weight room. There was an plan to turn the office next to his into a gift shop, but every time the workmen got to the office door, they refused to get on with the project, which has since been shelved. Something about something written on the door. A name, I think – believe it started with an “M”. Hogwash. Wasted space. Need to get that gift shop built.

Anyway, should we ever get a real list of who the Hooligans will be for WC 20 (WC XX?) (WC Twenty?) (eh…) we will publish it here in the pages of Scuttlebutt. Our mission is to keep you informed. If we’re informed, that is. Which we aint. At least, not about this “Who’re the Hooligans” thing.

Should we ever actually field a side, this is the list of national sides that were drawn into Group 6. Note that Audioslavia, the side currently ranked number one in the world, heads the list, and that Group 6 has quite a number of perennial contenders – One Red Dot, Wella, Spaam, Giant Zucchini. Rounding out the Group are fairly new East Lithuania, and newcomers San Verdi.

Group 6
1 - Audioslavia (1)
2 - One Red Dot (21)
3 - Wella (29)
4 - Snub Nose 38 (42)
5 - Spaam (55)
6 - Giant Zucchini (78)
7 - East Lithuania (102)
8 - San Verdi (150)

We’re providing the schedule of Qualifying Matches for Group 6, just in case some actual Hooligans do show up to play. We kind of hope they do – the sports pages are a bit hard to compose without ‘em. Tiddly-winks, Quoits…not your real big draws, ya know what I mean?

Matchday 1
Audioslavia - 3 v Spaam - 1
One Red Dot -3 v Giant Zucchini - 1
Wella - 2 v East Lithuania - 2
Snub Nose 38 - 2 v San Verdi - 0

Matchday 2
Spaam -1 v Snub Nose 38 - 1
Giant Zucchini - 0 v Audioslavia - 3
East Lithuania - 0 v One Red Dot - 2
San Verdi - 2 v Wella - 3


Group 6
National Side P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Audioslavia 2 2 0 0 6 1 5 6
One Red Dot 2 2 0 0 5 1 4 6
Snub Nose 38 2 1 1 0 3 1 2 4
Wella 2 1 1 0 5 4 1 4
East Lithuania 2 0 1 1 2 4 -2 1
Spaam 2 0 1 1 2 4 -2 1
San Verdi 2 0 0 2 2 5 -3 0
Giant Zucchini 2 0 0 2 1 6 -5 0
Matchday 3
Audioslavia v East Lithuania
One Red Dot v San Verdi
Wella v Spaam
Snub Nose 38 v Giant Zucchini

Matchday 4
Spaam v One Red Dot
Giant Zucchini v Wella
East Lithuania v Snub Nose 38
San Verdi v Audioslavia

Matchday 5
Audioslavia v One Red Dot
Wella v Snub Nose 38
Spaam v Giant Zucchini
East Lithuania v San Verdi

Matchday 6
Wella v One Red Dot
Snub Nose 38 v Audioslavia
East Lithuania v Giant Zucchini
San Verdi v Spaam

Matchday 7
Audioslavia v Wella
One Red Dot v Snub Nose 38
Spaam v East Lithuania
Giant Zucchini v San Verdi

Matchday 8
Spaam v Audioslavia
Giant Zucchini v One Red Dot
East Lithuania v Wella
San Verdi v Snub Nose 38

Matchday 9
Snub Nose 38 v Spaam
Audioslavia v Giant Zucchini
One Red Dot v East Lithuania
Wella v San Verdi

Matchday 10
East Lithuania v Audioslavia
San Verdi v One Red Dot
Spaam v Wella
Giant Zucchini v Snub Nose 38

Matchday 11
One Red Dot v Spaam
Wella v Giant Zucchini
Snub Nose 38 v East Lithuania
Audioslavia v San Verdi

Matchday 12
One Red Dot v Audioslavia
Snub Nose 38 v Wella
Giant Zucchini v Spaam
San Verdi v East Lithuania

Matchday 13
One Red Dot v Wella
Audioslavia v Snub Nose 38
Giant Zucchini v East Lithuania
Spaam v San Verdi

Matchday 14
Wella v Audioslavia
Snub Nose 38 v One Red Dot
East Lithuania v Spaam
San Verdi v Giant Zucchini

note - home sides are listed first

Finally, someone named Beverly, who claims to be from the Ministry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages, called to ask us to include two bits of information in any article we might be printing today on the Hooligans in WC 10+10 (no, that won’t work) – First, she wants us to remind fans that the old national stadium, “38 Special”, is no more. Home matches will be played on the City of Sten High School football field – the practice field if there’s a conflict between the High School side and the National side.

Second, she asked that we remind fans that tickets to all Hooligans matches are still available, and can be purchased at any Snubitron outlet. Or, you can call the Ministry. Just ask for Beverly.
South Osettia
13-01-2005, 19:45
“And you are?”

“I’m Polly Upton, your new assistant.” It was early, I was tired and I was starting a new, very important job. I wasn’t as they say ‘on the ball’ just yet.

“And you’re in my office because…?”

“Because I’m your new assistant and your office is also my office. Now, you’ve got an appointment with Chief Mclauglin at nine, and after that you have a briefing with the new intelligence reporter - ”

“I’m sorry…who are you again?”

“Polly Upton.”

“And why are you here?”

“Because I’m your new assistant. Don’t you think some plaques would look great on our desks? I’m gonna ask for some plaques.”

“Okay but…you are?”

“Polly Upton, your new assistant. Shall I go and fix us some coffee?” I could see she was getting bored of stating name and rank, and as she started walking out of the office I grabbed her by the arm.

“So you’re Polly Upton.”

“Yeah.”

“My new assistant.”

“Right.” She struggled free of my grip and began to strut down the corridor away from me.

“So…who am I?” I shouted after her. She turned around one last time.

“You’re Emmett Devoll, the new SO World Cup Chief.” I wasn’t going to forget that in a hurry.

***

“Emmett, welcome back! How was the Antarctic? I hear it’s warm this time of year.” My good friend Cary Mclauglin was a big man, and by big, I mean a rival to Everest. Our first encounter had been at the opening of the BoF Department (now the World Cup Department), and from there own friendship had blossomed. But that’s another story.

“You heard wrong, Cary. I have an appointment with you according to Polly.”

“Polly?” He frowned, as if trying to recall a Polly.

“My new assistant.”

“Did you have an old assistant?”

“No…but that’s not the point. What was it you wanted to see me about, Cary?”

“Oh yeah – that was it.”

“That was it?”

“Yeah.”

“You wanted to ask me about the Antarctic?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh…kay. Well…I’ve got work to do, so I’ll just be going now.” Mclauglin began laughing. Actually, it was more along the lines of guffawing, but that’s just pedantic.

“Well done, Emmett, you’ve just passed the first test.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’ve shown eagerness to get to work. That’s the sort of quality a World Cup Chief should have. Well done, I knew you’d pass.”

“First test? So I’m gonna get heckled endlessly for the next few weeks with tests from you, not to mention the heckling I’m no doubt going to get from Polly - ”

“Polly?”

“My new assistant – plus the stress my actual job will deliver to me on a regular basis?”

“Yeah, that just about sums it up.”

“Is my life really this crap?”

“You bet, Emmett.” Not the response I wanted to hear.

“Well, I suppose I’d better get back to Polly.”

“Polly?”

“My new assistant – you’re having trouble grasping it too, huh?”

“Emmett Devoll with an assistant…not exactly something I’d have anticipated this time a few months ago, no.” We laughed, I left, he sat, he poured, he drank, he fell asleep. It appears I wasn’t the only who’d gotten little sleep the night before.

***

It felt weird that I was about to hear an intelligence briefing. A few months ago, this had been my job, and Cary had played my current role. I hoped that I wouldn’t feel the urge to make annoying comments during the briefing, but didn’t hold out much chance of that happening. A timid knock on the door followed by the slow creaking of the door on its hinges as it opened announced the start of my ten hundred hour appointment.

“Good morning, sir.” He was a young boy, fairly cherubic in face, but a little scrawny – much like me when I’d decided to go on a diet.

“Good morning…I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”

“It’s Brad, sir…Brad Fordham.”

“Brad. Excellent. Why don’t you take a seat? Would you like some coffee? Polly?” Polly went to pour Brad a mug.

“No…thank you. Coffee’s like a laxative for me – just a mug and I’m in the bathroom for the next five hours.”

“Well thank you, Brad, for that…vital information. Shall we begin?”

“Yes sir. Well, we were drawn in Group 3 yesterday, as you know. In with us are Crystilakere, Iansisle, Jerusalem - ”

“Hang on. Weren’t all three of those in Maserrat’s group in WC19?”

“Yes they were. Also there’s Eystrck, Praying2God and Nevigrad.”

“Praying2God and Nevigrad? What is this, a BoF reunion dinner? Didn’t Eystrck win it at some point too?”

“Yes they did. Now, obviously it’ll be difficult to get points against Jerusalem, Crystilakere and Iansisle, who described us as a flower or a piece of moss, by the way - ”

“A piece of moss?”

“Yes.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“Possibly – I think they were just commenting on the floraic nature of our nation’s name. Eystrck and Legalese are the teams we need to look at beating. They are the teams directly above us in terms of ranking in our group, and if can finish above them it would put us in good stead. We should have few problems with Praying2God and Nevigrad, but you never know with these teams. Sometimes they can just come and bite you in the arse.”

“That sounds painful.” I think my promise about annoying comments was well out of the window by this time.

“Indeed it does, sir. In terms of predictions, we have been ranked in the region of fourth to sixth, which to me seems a fair estimate. Any lower and we should be disappointed.”

“So who are our first opponents?”

“Iansisle. They seem to have faded recently, but they’re still a potent threat, and any underestimation on our part needs to be stamped out immediately.”

“Oh yeah, because we really underestimate Iansisle, kid.” Brad went pale, and started to shake. What was this guy – some sort of walking nervous wreck?

“Are you okay?” Polly sounded concerned, and it seemed genuine too. She rushed over and started to flap a wad of papers in his face, like a fan. Gradually, the colour came back to his face.

“Yeah…yeah, I’m okay…but I think I’m gonna - ” He vomited. He vomited all over my floor. He vomited all over my new office floor. Could this day honestly get any better?

“Polly, get him out of here…and call the janitor – someone needs to clear up this mess. The stench started to hit me, and I needed to get out of there. As I did so, I saw a number of eyes turn to look at me, and as I exited the department, excited whispers followed me – those of my employees. Had I already lost their respect, on my first day? I was expecting to last until at least day three. I began to wonder just what I had let myself in for by taking this job. It wasn’t long before I found out the hard way.
Snub Nose 38
13-01-2005, 19:48
Reserved for introductory RP - don't start without me! I need time to adjust after a few days without Internet. I have withdrawal symptoms!*we believe we detect something kind of...well...sort of..."Meldmondish" about this missive. hmmm...*
Tadjikistan
13-01-2005, 20:19
Shedules Known

Turori ::10::
The Lowland Clans ::22::
Tadjikistan ::23::
Oaker ::44::
Lethislavania ::51::
Spurland ::73::
Wickerslack ::91::
Irenadia ::118::

Dushanbe - 'It doesnt look that bad' Zhenya Luchinsky, Tadjikistans new coach said 'Of these teams only two really pose a threat to our qualification; Turori and The Lowland Clans. We've already shown everybody that we can draw to Turori so thats not the problem. Main problem will be the team; We got trough to the 1/16 finals but it was a long and hard road, i just hope we had enough training to avoid another embarrasment like that'
But the team seems to be in good condition and strengthened with experienced players; Tadjik topscorer Ter Gasparian backed by Idris Koshevoi, veteran Daniel Kirponos and Alexander 'Rocket' Zaev on the midfield, The Tigers have all they need to score. Tadjikistans main concern is once again the Defense, The old Zhilenkov is technically very strong but a bit slow, Nazirov has the speed but lacks the experience for his task and Oborin still has to play his first match for the national team.
Luchinsky is an Ex-international with experience as coach of the Tadjik U21 team and SKA Pamir Dushanbe, he has all the requirements for the job but it wont be easy.

Luchinsky's prediction:
1)Turori
2)Tadjikistan
3)The Lowland Clans
4)Lethislavania
5)Oaker
6)Wickerslack
7)Spurland
8)Irenadia

MD1:Tadjikistan - Wickerslack
MD2:Irenadia - Tadjikistan
MD3:Tadjikistan - Lethislavania
MD4:Spurland - Tadjikistan
MD5:Tadjikistan - Oaker
MD6:Tadjikistan - The Lowland Clans
MD7:Turori - Tadjikistan
MD8:Wickerslack - Tadjikistan
MD9:Tadjikistan - Irenadia
MD10:Lethislavania - Tadjikistan
MD11:Tadjikistan - Spurland
MD12:Oaker - Tadjikistan
MD13:The Lowland Clans - Tadjikistan
MD14:Tadjikistan - Turori

Hooligans want fun

The Tadjik hooligans, wellknown for their destructive behaviour in and around footballstadia have promised to wreck havoc in every foreign city the national team played in. Tadjik police prepares for the worst
The in Tadjikistan famous hooligan leader 'Nick' said he can count on the support atleast 2000 troublemakers and told us he would smuggle them into the various nations along with regular fans, where they will start riots after each game. How the policeforces of the various nations want to deal with the situation is unknown but Tadjik police chief Budimir Loncar cancelled all leaves for his officers, activated police reserves and requested military help.
When we asked Nick how he planned his riots in Tadjikistan he refused to comment and told we just had to wait and see.
Snub Nose 38
13-01-2005, 21:08
Hooligans want fun[/b]
The Tadjik hooligans, wellknown for their ...
The in Tadjikistan famous hooligan leader 'Nick' said ...

To: Whosoever it May Concern within the Tadjik Government
Re: Forthcoming Lawsuit

Sir/Madam/Other (please select appropriate form of address):

The firm of Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe --- Barristers – Attorneys at Law & Lawn Maintenance - have been retained by the Ministry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages of the Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38 in regards to developing and filing a suit against the Government of Tadjikistan for unauthorized use of intelectual property, to wit: the name "Hooligans".

Details will be provided as we here at Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe develop them. There may be some delay, as we are currently involved in a rather big landscaping project.

Huey Ducke
Louis Ducke
Hiiraan
13-01-2005, 22:19
First game Chiils as the First game nears
Hiiraan vs Squornshelous

Hiiraan team got ready for the First game of the WC20, The team which now is at Training camp Delat will soon come out and play the Squornshelous's Haqrd Defense, However it may seem, the Hiiranian Defense is Both faster and better than the last one, Hiiraan does nto only look for upset but looks for a game in which we wow the Squornshelous's, they are not a patheticly unimportant team to this cup, they are only patheticially in our way, If Hiiraan wins, we will go on and go to our next compatitor and play even harder if we lose we will do the same. we do not in no way look to make our selves important, however we need to give ourselves time and MAKE ourselves belief we are part of a truly great team.

the coach has not arrived for his daily conference, but he promisses tomorrow that he will come, he is been said to be too busy for a press conference. "In any way we go in to that stadium, we plan to leave as the winners " said the coach in a recorded messgae from his office in camp delat.

We have No History against this team, so we do not know what to expect from them, however we seek make history by beating them in the next match, we will both give play-by-play and end of the match anaylysis.

Now lets wait for the match and make Squornshelous History till our second leg meet.
Rejistania
13-01-2005, 22:52
OOC: Heh.

IC:
Some sleep with your fries?
9 out of 10 fmjphoenoxen that have trouble sleeping use melmand newspapers to get to sleep.

During the latest study into insomnia, in fmjphoenix, Melmond scored very highly, putting 88.8% of sufferers into a coma within 20 minutes. Rejistania scored very badly, making 33.3% have suicidal feelings and 16.7% kill themselves. In other news I've been awake for a week and just read the KaMaRi Update...

The editor staff of the KaMari Update believes that the good feeling towards defensive soccer, which the KaMaRi Update spreads, makes Phoenicians feel good towards defensive soccer. Realizing that they enjoyed a 9-0-1 tactic, they want to die...
Lethislavania
13-01-2005, 22:58
http://www.geocities.com/versionizer/lethislavania2.jpg

Two large, metallic bowls glistened in the sun, their visage of prestige a great bolster to the pride of our faire nation. Coming above them, one would see the thousands of fans, eagerly waiting, their feet shuffling. It was a sea of green and black uniformes, and the sea crashed eagerly as Thomas Boeing took the cerimonial frontflip onto the field. This large amount of applause ushered in the second reich, so to speak, of Lethislavanian Football. The excited crowed increased their clapping with vigor, as the re-united team took the field, their green uniformes beautiful under the flapping red and yellow flag.

"This, my friends, is why we play!" Thomas Boeing shouted, his voice hoarse.
"Let us show these bloody hooligans what we're about!" In response, another joint session of clapping began, this time Boeing's teammates joining in. He basked in the glory of the spotlight, then sat down, letting the rest of the team speak.

Michael Aroyyo strode forward, an aura of hope surrounding him. The visage of such a man, with twinkling eyes and tanned, wrinkled skin, humbled the crowd. He paced back and forth, much like his locker routine, and grasped the microphone tightly. "Hello, Lethislavania. This... Will be my..." Tears began to stream out of his eyes, the salt-water hot on his skin. "...year as manager. I... Look forward to.. this..." He broke down more, memories of working on this team flooding through his head, his mental barriers finally breaking down. "I'm sorry..." He coughed, his hand traveling up to meet the rush of air. "I have a family to spend time with." He quickly paced off the field. The crowd rose up unanimously, their hands erupting into a volley of clapping. All of the players, dumbfounded, filed off into the locker room, a plethora of emotions shooting through their heads.

This is what the world cup is about.
Lamoni
14-01-2005, 00:11
Nephi Times - SPORTS

Hawks enter WC XX

After years of participation in Atlantian Oceania's AOCAF, the Hawks decided to take their show on the road, and the best place to do that is in the World Cup.

The official schedule has already been made, and here it is:

@ Shonar Bangla
vs. Eauz
@ Rejistania
vs. Krytenia
vs. Limp Wristed Fish
vs. Pterodactyl
@ Oceaice
vs. Shonar Bangla
@ Eauz
vs. Rejistania
@ Krytenia
@ Limp Wristed Fish
@ Pterodactyl
vs. Oceaice

Our predictions against the other teams in the group, while somewhat favorable to the Hawks, indicate that the Hawks will need some serious luck to make past the qualifiers.

Rejistania - Expected to handily defeat the Hawks. Though, you learn more from a defeat than from a win, right?

Eauz - This one might be more of a match than against Rejistania, but Eauz is also expected to defeat the Hawks based on rankings.

Shonar Bangla - An unknown entity. We can't predict how this matchup will fare for the Hawks.

Krytenia - The only team in the group that Lamoni has faced before (and beaten), Krytenia is on a downward spiral. Generally believed that the Hawks can defeat them.

Oceaice Another unknown entity. Will the Hawks win this matchup or not?

Pterodactyl We are not afraid to say that this matchup is ANOTHER unknown. There will be plenty of unknowns for the Hawks this WC, and this is yet another.

Limp Wristed Fish The Hawks will be laughing too hard at the team's name to play, and so will lose this matchup.

Is Lamoni ready for the WC? Time will tell.
Nova Britannicus
14-01-2005, 00:47
"...and the Mayor's wife said to me, 'but where did she hide the trout?'!"

The assembled complany fell about laughing, the man from the Nova Britannicus Football Association nearly dropped his cigar into his brandy.

"I say, Charles," the story-teller said, "that jolly old Footy thing is coming around again, isn't it?"

"Rather, Rupert"

"How are we going to do in that one, then?"

"Oh, not bad, I think," Charles 'Charlie' Worsley replied with a glint in his eye, "we're taking measures to help us qualify, 'old bean'."

...

Let us refresh your memories, or, in some cases, introduce something completely new to anyone reading this. But here's the Reader's Digest Version.

During the World Cup 19 Qualifers, a Rejistanian symbol of power, known as the Sinijiil, disappeared from a temple in Hetkali. The temple was dedicated to the deity Taderekansa, but that's beside the point, really. It was stolen by the Nova Britannician archaeologist, adventurer and all-round super-babe Keira Hamilton. She, however, was tricked into stealing the Sinijiil by a mysterious Guru named Yandaki, hired by the Nova Britannican Football Association.

Yandaki used the symbol to incite Karela-like performances from the team of the nation it resides in (System Karela being the very defensive tactics used by many Rejistanian teams). Two brave, ex-cop, Rejistanian monks, Jaju and Taka, travelled to Nova Britannicus to look for the Sinijiil. After locating it in the headquarters of the NBFA, Jaju and Taka disguised themselves as cleaners and entered the Building. After delving deep into the inner sanctums, they found Yandaki and a cohort of monks chanting around the Sinijiil.

All this came to a head during the second round match of the World Cup 19 Finals, Nova Britannicus Versus Audioslavia. As the match stretched to extra time and then penalties, Jaju and Taka faced off against Yandaki in a magical duel. Finally the Rejistanians shattered Yandaki's magical power and Nova Britannicus lost the shoot-out.

The Rejistanians returned to their homeland with the Sinijiil, and they would hope that Rejistania's defensiveness will return. However, the men at the top of the Nova Britannicus Football Association, of which Charles Worsley is now a member, are wanting the Navy-Blues to go all the way to a World Cup Finals once more...
Kingsford
14-01-2005, 02:23
(Playing in the background is Cream – Sunshine of Your Love)

“Mate, you got it down?”

“Yeh, I think so.”

“Show me”

“I’ve been waiting so long, to be where I’m going—“

“No, that’s rubbish.”

“It is?”

“Yeh mate, its tripe. Absolute rubbish.”

“I say, its worthy for the King”

“’Tis not.”

“Yes huh, mate. Its bloody flush singing.”

“Meybe if yer were a whale.”

“Wait…”

“Wot?”

“Are we on air?”

“On air? I don’t speek bloody yankie”

“On the raid-yo? Are we on the bloody raid-yo?”

“’Course not. Is the bloody light on?”

“Yeh, mate.”

“Oh, cocky! Who the ‘ell flipped on the raid’yo?”

“Well ternnit off!”

“Bollocks, I can’t. I’ve to start meh talk show”

“Yer wat?!”

“Meh talk show. But quig, ternnit off the music, mate”

“I’m on it.”

“Ok, we start in five, four, threer—“

“Enry, yer’ve alreddy started”

“Ah, bollocks. That’s right. Er…”

“ENRY!”

“’Ello! My name is ‘Enry Tuck, and I’m the coach of the footb’l team for the World Cup, the Kingsford Gondoliers! T’day, we’ll talk aboot, and undoubtedly make some top notch japery, Hiiraan. With me is my mate, for reel this time, Bruno Fest.”

“Ello!”

“Joining us later in this world Oh Hiiraan, after Bruno leaves because we’ve only two maicrofones, is ‘mbas’dor to Hiiraan, Mr. Dom Cheekes. Alreet, Bruno, let’s have it off, shall we?”

“Have wot off?”

“The discussion, yew twat.”

“I’m just saying—“

“I know wot yer jest saying, and I’m seying yer eh twat. Yer twat.”

“Why you go and do that?”

“Dew wot?”

“Call me er twat.”

“Becos yew are”

“Well yer a moppit, but I dunt go call’n yew a moppit.”

“Who seys I’m a moppit?”

“Evryone.”

“Oh yeh?”

“Yeh.”

“Hold on, we need a seccind opinion. For validation purposes, a seccind opinion is rekwired. Is there ennyone in the hallway. Ah, brilliant. You there, can yew spare a minnet? Yeh, into the microfone.”

“Wot do yew want?”

“I have a modest proposal fer yew.”

“I think eating bebbies is a good idea. ‘nfact, I think tat Swift guy new wot he wes talk’ng aboot.”

“Err…”

“In fect, I wes just think’ng, I shood ‘ave a bebbie, so I cood eat it.”

“’Enry, yew sure yeh wont to ask ‘im?”

“Quiet Bruno, he certainly is a sound, ef not eccentric, ind’vidjal.”

“Bebbie stew, Bebbie pie, Bebbie sossage, Bebbie steaks, Bebbie ribs…”

“…Right.”

“Listen, Mr…”

“Misses.”

“Wot?”

“’Ats meh name, Mr. Geberdide Misses.”

“Yer name is Misses…?”

“Yeh. Wots yers?”

“A perfect segue! Mr., er, Misses. Geberdide, my name is ‘Enry Tuck.”

“’Enry Tuck!?”

“Yes, ‘ats me.”

“Wot are yew doing in ‘Etter Ded Than Red Raid’yo stood’yo?”

“Well I ave my own show now. What are you doing here, Geberdide?”

“I’m ere to picket yer show.”

“Brilliant!”

“Shet up, Bruno. Listen, Geberdide, I have a question, if you will.”

“All-reet.”

“Am I… a moppit?”

“Efcorse.”

“Rite, well, that’s all I need. I’m quite finished with your services, so if you’ll pleese—“

“Yer the biggist Moppit, Twat, Tossir, Wanker Pansie Yankee Frenchmen tet ever lived.”

“SECURITY! SECURITY!”

“Wot, is ‘Enry Tuck scared? Yew ran nekkid in frent ef thoosands of peoples and yer skared of Mr. Misses?”

“HELP ME! BRUNO, TAKE HIM OUT!”

“Can’t.”

“Whyn’t?”

“Gotta rest up, big match soon. I better get gwyng.”

“Dent leeve me here with him!”

“Wiff who?”

“YEW!”

“Me?”

“No, net yew Bruno.”

“But he sed he wes leeving”

“I ment you.”

“You jest sed yew daidn’t.”

“Oh, dear. Well I better go attend to bigger matters, shortly after the break I’ll digress here and talk about Hiiraan.”

“Who?”

“The pansies, you know.”

“Yew’re a pansie.”

“We’ll be right back…”

Commercial Break
The Eagles Nest
14-01-2005, 02:28
((Am I in WCXII Group 11??? Sure looks like it. RP on guys, let's have fun))

TEN Placed In Group 9

Strike Birds Move To Finish The Deal

With the same coach they have had the last three cups, but with a newly retired player now the assistant on the bench, The Strike Birds are making one last run with many of their aging stars, and some of their new stars.

Coach Josh Adams, Horace, Siggy Secour, Weber Strong, Glim Graerstiow, and Leonard Holst have all said this is their last cup. This team is making one final push to get their stars a berth in a World Cup Final, and hopefully, the right to hoist the cup.

When we look at Group 9, we see some familiar faces.

Group 9
The Eagles Nest ::7::
-

Squornshelous ::12::
WCXV: SF - Lost 4-5 on penalty kicks (tied 0-0 AET)
WCXVI: R16- Won 3-0

Series: Tied at 1-0-1


Liverpool England ::24::
Never Played in International Competition

The Weegies ::39::
WCXII: Qual: Won 2-1
WCXII: Qual: Won 1-0

Series: TEN leads 2-0-0


Kingsford ::53::
Never Played in International Competition

Hiiraan ::75::
Never Played in International Competition

Ratvipa ::110::
Never Played in International Competition

Antaeus Rising ::150::

WCXII: GroupPlay : Won 2-0

Series: TEN leads 1-0-0



3 of the seven opponents that the Nest will ahve to play to get to WCXX have matched up against the Nest before. Names Kingsford, Liverpool England, and Hiiraan are known to those who follow the Strike Birds, and they are eager to see these sides in Silver Flame Arena for the first time when not playing in the Eagle's Cup.

Coach Adams has gone froma 4-4-2 to a 3-4-3 to try to increase the scoring deficit that occured this last cup. The 28 goals is the second lowest scoring total the Nest has put up in a World Cup campaign, narrowly beating their first run in WCXII with a total of 26.

The pundits in the Nest are predicting a hard fought battle for the top three spots between 5 teams, TEN, LE, Squorn, Weegies, and Kingsford. When the dust clears the standings should look like this:

1. TEN
2. LE
3. Squorn
4. Weegies
5. Kingsford
6. Hiiraan
7. AR
8. Ratvipa

Give or take 2 spots.

A newer version of teh RP machine has been installed at Silver Flame Arena to replace the old smoking one that first saw service in WCXII. This newer version can handle a much larger capacity than before and should stop any reoccurance of the explosion of the RP machine in the Flame Arena during the final Spaam/TEN match in WCXII. This group has that feel as did the famous (infamous Group 11), noting that two of our opponents met the Nest during WCXII. It is also noted, that the Nest will be trying to reach the mythical 100 win mark in international play this campaign. with 14 guarnateed games, and a potential of 7 more, it could happen.

TEN stats to date:

Record:
P W D L GF GA GD
Home: 51 36 7 8 99 37 +62
Away: 51 31 11 9 103 48 +55
Neutral: 38 18 8 12 54 33 +21
-----------------------------------------
Total: 140 85 26 30 256 118 +138
Bedistan
14-01-2005, 03:03
BFA headquarters, Amissville, Cintrosta province, Bedistan

"All right, everyone, I'd like to thank you for coming to this press conference today. I'm sure the vast majority of you know who I am, but in case you don't, my name is Johnny Lewis, former professional football player for Bedistan's national team, later coach of that team, and now president of the Bedistan Football Association, the headquarters of which this press conference is being held in.

"I will now take questions from the audience. You, sir."

"Tom Chapman, Columbia Times. Um...what is this conference about, exactly?"

"Pardon?"

"What's it about? So far all you've done is greeted us and told us who you are."

"You mean I haven't finished the conference yet?"

"It would appear not, sir."

"Hmm. Well, you know, they say your memory is the first thing to go when you get old. And my 80th birthday is next month, so I guess that would explain that."

(silence)

"Oh, I guess I should continue now. Hah, silly me. Anyway...it has come to my attention that there is a bit of saturation in the market in terms of national football team nicknames. Basically, there are too many Lions going around. You've got the Bedistan Lions, of course. Then EL CID THE HERO's team became the Lions a decade or so ago. And now, judging from press reports I've heard, this new team from Sybex wants in on the action, too! Having three sets of Lions just confuses people no end. It's like referring to a BPL club as 'United'. Who are you talking about? Yuba? South Coast? Canton? Chilson? Hillcrest? The list goes on and on. Yes, you with the tie."

"Brent Tomlinson, Rolestu Sun. Why not just get EL CID and Sybex to change their names? After all, we've had it for sixty years, surely we have the right to keep it?"

"Yes, we do have the right to keep it, but the fact is, it may not be the best course of action, and that's why I've brought up the subject today. You'll notice none of the major Bedistani news outlets covering the WC20 national team are referring to them as anything other than 'Team Bedistan'. Why? Because of the Lions name and its history. The Lions are known as a very good, some might say even great, team. But not great enough. In fifteen attempts, we've made the semifinals five times, which is probably a better ratio than anyone else has ever managed, with the possible exception of Rejistania. And how many times have we won the World Cup? Zero. Zip, zilch, nada. The history is what is holding this team back. Therefore, I think this is a perfect time to let all these new Lions enter the stage while we start looking for a new image. What now?"

"Kristi Sanders, Port Lusambo Tribune. If we don't call ourselves the Lions anymore, what should we call ourselves?"

"You reporters are way too bloody impatient. I was just about to get to that. All right, open question to all of you. There has been a distinct correlation between a certain kind of team nickname and the success of teams with such a name as of late. Can anyone tell me what it is?"

"Teams with a nickname very closely resembling the name of their nation? The Crystilakere Crystils, for instance?"

"Well, that's a better guess than I expected, Tom, but no, that's not what I had in mind. It's colors. Think about it. Rejistania, the Orange-Blues. Eauz, les Bleus. Lethislavania, the Fighting Green. Druida, the Rainbows. Nova Britannicus, the Navy-Blues. Color is the name of the game! And especially the color blue! All those I just mentioned, with the exception of Lethislavania, include the color blue. Blue is the color of World Cup luck and glory. And blue is what we need."

"But aren't our uniforms already blue?"

"They are, Kristi, but it's not uniforms that are important here, it's the team nickname. And have you looked at the Bedistani flag lately? What colors do you see?"

"Green and blue."

"Green and blue! Correct, Brent! That flag, with its lovely partially-blue color, is our nation's ticket to getting on top of the World Cup scene once more! I propose that we starting calling the national team....wait for it....the Green-Blues!"

(more silence)

"Yes, you with the coffee cup."

"Paul Young, Esto Informer. Surely you would agree that 'Blue-Greens' sounds better than 'Green-Blues'?"

"Yes, I would. However, that's not going to work. Let me run through them again. Orange-Blues. Les Bleus. Navy-Blues. The blue always has to be the second word. Otherwise, it'll probably work in reverse and we'll go 0-0-14 in qualifying. I say we're the Green-Blues! Who's with me?"

(even more silence)

"Ahem. Right then. I will, of course, put the matter up for a vote by the entire Association. I know they will support me more than you silly journalists. This press conference is over. Goodbye."
The Weegies
14-01-2005, 03:47
Weegie Star: Sport Report World Cup Extravaganza

Welcome, one and all, to another wonderful World Cup! And this is the 13th one the Weegies have participated in... lucky for some? Lucky for everyone? Maybe... Now let's take a look at our bright boys who'll be playing their way for...

"Ye home, Wilson?"

Wilson folded the paper as Harris made his way into the flat. Harris noted the gaudy colours and messy backdrops of another 24-page pullout. It only ended up lining the cat's tray. After all, recycling was very important these days. Even more so for students - Harris had perfected the "skinny waif" look down to the world-weary smile.

"So, what's in the newspaper?" said Harris, hoping to not have to sit through another tirade on sports journalism again.
"Crap."
"Already? I thought you had to put litter on it first."
Wilson sneered. "Ha. Ha."
"What's the matter? Depression normally doesn't sink in till after the first home game. We are going, right?"
"You daft or something? Of course we're going, we're Islander's Army material, aren't we? That's why we'll be going to our home games to cheer on the team's losing. Far beyond that, even."
"Away games? You're serious? Away games? How can we afford that?"
Wilson shrugged apathetically. "I know a guy."
"Who is?"
"A guy who broke both his legs and can't go on any trips."
"Oh." Harris went to turn around, then stopped suddenly, wondering something. "...Wilson?"
"Yes?"
"You didn't break his legs, did you?"
"What?"
"It's just, I know how you've wanted to see an away game more than anything in the world. And after that incident in the Rowdy Clansman with McQuillig and the dart and the small orange... well, I know how you want to go, let's put it that way."
"We still banned from there?"
"We've always been banned from there because we're "bloody half-supporter student scum", remember? That's why the incident came about."
"Bet McQuillig's still tasting metal."
"Well, maybe. But still, hey! The Qualifying Games! This is going to be an excellent time."
"Well, the World Cup as well."
"Oh. Oh! Was this man insane? We're never going to make it there."
"Quite probably. He broke his legs cliff-diving in Riahlan'hal Quay."
"The one with the rocks?"
"Yep."
"Bloody hell."
"Yep."
"It's going to be good, anyway."
"Unless you decide to go cliff-diving."
"Or if you see McQuillig."
"Well, yes. That goes without saying. But there's nothing he can do in a foreign country."
"Without all the laws to stop him from doing nasty things to us here?"
"Point taken. Get me a beer, Harris, I want to shout at the wanker on television."
"He can't hear you, you know."
"Good, then he won't punch me when I pour obscenities at him."
Kingsford
14-01-2005, 04:24
"Right, well we're back. Yerr listen'ng to 'Etter Ded Than Red raid'yo. I'm 'Enry Tuck, and I'm all by my lonesome after that, er, inc'dent with Mr. Misses and Bruno Fest. I will commence our ridiculous jest and japery of Hiiraan by playing a few sound clips of their coach, Mohamed Luure. Can we cue up the first one? Yes we can, and I'll have that flush for you in a few moments 'ere..."

"LOL i am thinking tat we win 1, 2 gmaes at BEST bcuz wee REALLY suk"

"Wot a cheery fellow! Mr. Luure, you certainly have a very opt'mistic attitude. Can we cue up the next clip? Jolly good. Let's have at it then."

"Has anyone SEEN my TOOTHBRUSH?"

"Alright, lets have a go at analysis. Mr. Loogie obv'slee cares about pers'nal hygiene. Moreso than his team. He cares about looking pritty, right, b'cause as we've seen in the past two clips, or heard rather, his toothbrush matters moor than his teem. So, Mr. Llama, we have a song to play for you. Cue it up, please. Jolly good. Here it is then."

So never judge a book by its cover/
Or who you gonna love by your lover/
Love put me wise to her love in disguise/
She had the body of a venus/
Lord, imagine my suprise/

That Dude Looks Like A Lady/
That Dude Looks Like A Lady/
That Dude Looks Like A Lady/
That Dude Looks Like A Lady/

"Granted, we've come to this conclusion assuming much from very litt'l, and all in all its not very legit, however it's fonny es 'ell. So, we'll now reffur to Mr. Lasso as Mr. Lady. This is, of course, not to be confused with Mr. Misses, the crazy git who wes in 'ere a bit ago. That is a completely different git. Two seperate gits, both similar in nature. Here's another quote to prove that Mr. Lady is, indeed, eh git."

"i'm a GIT"

"So there you have it, gentle viewers, foolproof evidence that Mr. Lady is a Git. We'll return to our investigative peece on Hiiraan in a bit. Up next, we look at the government of Hiiraan, and I'll feature Dom Cheekes, the m'bass'dor to Hiiraan from K'ngsford. After thees commershalls."

Commercial Break
Kylaai
14-01-2005, 05:46
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/kylaai.jpgThe Reformed Islands of Kylaai

Goalkeeper: Mandoo Nania
Defenders: Lital Tirar, Hito Burrito, Vito Frito, Max
Midfielders: Rising Sun, Macala Moria, Tennence Fleiam, Norada-Fell
Attackers: Mazu Kazu, Vlanti Vimorta

The Reformed Islands of Kylaai will try again to make the world cup finals in world cup 20. Kylaai have made many cup of hamrony but never the world cup finals and will have another chance this time. Kylaai will play many new teams but also some teams that they have played before. The best team is Kaze Progressa with a rank of 8 which is 33 rank better than Kylaai. Svecia are 25 rank better than Kylaai and are the number two rank team in the group. Kylaai have played Adam Island before and Adam Island is the team that made Kylaai play the cup of harmony once again in the last world cup. Kylaai thought they would be able to make the world cup finals but Adam Island kept winning games and finished ahead of kylaai.

The other teams from the group are funny because kylaai is better than all of them. Sliponia we do not know but luckily kylaai was watching in the baptism of fire cup and this is where the team Royal Engrand and the team GT-R have played before being in the world cup. The team Talzeckia is also a new team but was not in the bapt itms of fire cup. GT-R and Royal engrand played versus each other in the baprims of fire cup and we all know that gt-r is good and royal engrand is not.

Group 7
Kaze Progressa ::8::
Svecia ::16::
Adam Island ::34::
Kylaai ::41::
Sliponia ::63::
GT-R ::84::
Royal Engrand ::102::
Talzeckia ::150::
Praying2God
14-01-2005, 08:38
John Carlson (JC): Welcome to all you Praying2God sports fans from Jerusalem, where the Praying2God Warriors are about to make their return to the World Cup after a lengthy absence due to civil unrest in our native land.

David Tall (DT): That's right, John. The Warriors have been out of WC action for so long that almost nobody in Praying2God remembers that they participated in the WC before. This will probably be a rough WC for them, but they certainly aren't going to go down without a fight.

Lisa Simonson (LS): That's right, David. They might not stand a prayer in this WC, but a halfway respectable performance will go a long way towards helping the Warriors regain their place amongst the better teams in international sports.

JC: What do the two of you expect to see today?

DT: Jerusalem is a tough draw for anybody to start, especially on the road. It will be tough for the Warriors to pick up any points today. Teams always seem to struggle when making their debut appearance in international competition...

LS: Tell that to the Warriors basketball team, David. They won the WC of Basketball in their debut appearance.

JC: Lisa, what are your keys to success for the Warriors today?

LS: They'll have to shut down Jerusalems potent attack with good defense, especially out of 16 year-old keeper Sarah Walker. She's likely to be quite busy today trying to keep the ball out of the metal cage that she's guarding. She may be small for a keeper, but she has the heart of a Warrior...

DT: If you make another punny joke, I'm going to have to hit you with some rotten tomatoes.

LS: Shut up and let me finish. As I was saying, good defense will be essential to any hopes the Warriors might have of success. If they can keep Jerusalem off the board, then the young Warriors attack will get a chance to gather some good experience. Thomas Larson is the oldest of the starting forwards for the Warriors, and he's only 16, while his counterparts up front, Kelly Carter and Amanda Tracy are both only 15. Larson is going to be counted on to provide leadership up front in the attack.

JC: Any predictions for today's game?

DT: The lack of experience will eventually catch up with the Warriors on both ends. The Warriors will come out strong and make the game interesting early, but Jerusalem's experience will prevail in the end. 2-0 Jerusalem.

LS: I agree with David that Jerusalem will resist the Warriors beseiging of their home fortress today. **Lisa gets pelted with rotten tomatoes by David** Stop that! The Warriors have the heart to compete with anybody, but the talent and the experience isn't quite there yet. However, I do not believe that the Warriors will be shut out. 4-1 Jerusalem. What about you, John?

JC: I find it hard to say what's more likely...that the Warriors will earn a point, or that you two will stop flirting with each other. **David and Lisa glare at him** I believe that the former is more likely than the latter, as the Warriors play an outstanding match and earn a 0-0 draw. We'll be back shortly for the opening kick-off.
Liverpool England
14-01-2005, 11:10
FALE Release Team Roster

GK/David Thompson/28
GK/Jeremy Melcher/32
GK/Christopher Bush/23
DF, MF/Doug Freech/30
DF/Jeremy Kidder/32
DF/Thomas Moreno/23
DF, AM/Ronald Stamp/24
DF/Howard Whitley/29
DF/Mike Burkholder/20
MF/Kevin Hargrove/18
MF/Keith Burr/33
MF, AM/Stephen Merrill/22
MF/Timothy Dennard/29 (CAPTAIN)
MF, ST/Joseph Cummings/31
MF/Fred Haas/27
MF/Frank Kushner/24
ST/Henry Carreon/21
ST/Jacob Walczak/20
ST/Jeffery Cano/25

The FALE have released their finalised, 19-man roster list for the World Cup 20 qualifiers. A few surprise inclusions are 18-year-old prospect Kevin Hargrove. Opposing teams should be on the lookout for attackers Timothy Dennard, who has been named captain of the international side, Frank Kushner, a twenty-four year old with 42 league goals over two seasons, and defender Thomas Moreno, who's recently moved overseas to Melmond, making him the first Liverpool Englander to play in Melmond. The FALE have also released the fixture list and names of stadiums that would be used.

The home match against Kingsford will be specially played in IDEXO Stadium in CCL. IDEXO were the first ex-Kingsford-based club to win the Liverpool England league. The FALE have requested that a fellow Group 9 nation offer to host both home and away ties against Hiiraan for Liverpool England due to safety reasons. The FALE have sent a letter to the Hiiraanian FA for permission to do so.

MD01: Ratvipa (H) Waterway Stadium, Schimpol
MD02: Antaeus Rising (A)
MD03: Kingsford (H) IDEXO Stadium, CCL
MD04: Hiiraan (A) - The FALE have requested that for safety reasons, the match be played on neutral ground.
MD05: The Weegies (H) Grovers Park, Orean
MD06: Squornshelous (H) National stadium, CCL
MD07: The Eagles Nest (A)
MD08: Ratvipa (A)
MD09: Antaeus Rising (H) Waterway Stadium, Schimpol
MD10: Kingsford (A)
MD11: Hiiraan (H) - Tentatively, Grovers Park, Orean. The FALE have however requested that the match be played neutrally.
MD12: The Weegies (A)
MD13: Squornshelous (A)
MD14: The Eagles Nest (H) National Stadium, CCL

FALE Official Correspondence
S/N FALE20/01
To: Hiiraanian Football Association
Re: Matches on Matchdays 4 and 11

To whomever it may concern,
I would like to have, with your co-operation and understanding, the matches on Matchday 4 away in Hiiraan and Matchday 11 against Hiiraan in Liverpool England to be moved to a neutral location.

We both know that both sets of fans can be rowdy at times. Given our past conflicts between our FAs, I would expect there to be security concerns leading up to both matches.

I am hereby requesting that a fellow Group 9 nation offer to host both Matchday 4 and Matchday 11 matches in a stadium of their choice.

I seek your understanding in this matter, and await a reply.

Yours,
Paul Dussis
FALE Chairman
Liverpool England
14-01-2005, 11:34
FALE put forth Referee, nominate Rejistanian

The FALE have nominated referee Dave Granger to referee in the World Cup 20 qualifiers. Granger, 44, has officiated the past three cups, WC17 onwards. Also nominated by the FALE was Siki Rej of Rejistania. Rej, who may not officiate in the cup, is known to have been happy at the nomination. The Rejistanian FA still need to nominate Rej if they want him to officiate.

MATCHDAY 1 PREVIEW

RATVIPA WATERWAY STADIUM, SCHIMPOL
Little is known about Ratvipa. Manager Syku Lyku has warned the team not to be complacent against Ratvipa, who may or may not pose a serious threat. Lyku is expected to play ouside of the team's preferred formation, and play a 3-3-4.

Potential Liverpool England Dangerman: Timothy Dennard

Dennard, 29, is the captain of the squad. An attacking player with good defensive qualities as well, he certainly can be considered the Frank Lampard of the NS world.

No Word Yet: Cannon

Caddy Cannon has revealed that he has still yet to hear from the Starblaydi FA about his application to fill their Under 21 managerial vacancy. "It's been quitea while, and they haven't announced a new coach, which is surprising." Cannon, 62, has been working as a fitness coach for Schimpol since stepping down from the Liverpool England job in WC15.
Rejistania
14-01-2005, 11:48
Before the group draw, when quali is still far away:

Siki Rej sits in his cave, it used to be a room, but in the years, when Siki inhabited it, it became a strange place, dark, smelling like pizza, coffee and Lychee juice as well as someone lived in there for years and never opened a window. Siki Rej however just opens a window.. unfortunately for the air in the room, it is a window on his computer. As we move the magical camera of RP in a better position, we se that he is trying to write a mail. After being annoyed with the mail program, he closes it angrily and opens telnet. Telnet is a program to connect to a computer directly and via text only. Normally Siki Rej uses it for the connection to the Hexatux (his terminal was replaced by a very slow but at least independent PC). We adjust the magical camera of RP so it filters out all the geeky stuff and suddenly, the mail becomes clearly visible:

From: RejSi@asr.esv.rj
To: DaranTeke@asr.esv.rj
Subject: Situation-report
Hejida,
Things are going on quite well even though I had to make some changes to the code to handle additional data. Apparently it works, but these things can only be tested in reality, the test, I currently run however are more or less successfull. However the coffee is not really strong. Please remember that Hexatux is caffeine powered and I more or less too (even though I also need pizza). I have a few requests too make my work easier:
1. real coffee (Something, which I can give Hexatux and it can run from it)
2. earplugs (it is horrible to hear people going to (or coming from?) work when I am just about to fall asleep)
3. a clock. The one on Hexatux resets after every reboot, I do not have a wristwatch, but I think that it is time to adopt a more normal time planning
TIA,
Siki Rej
PS: Do not make comments about the letters for me that are sent to the ASR-address. I (virtually) live here.
South Osettia
14-01-2005, 12:57
Day One of the new World Cup campaign. It was a big step from the BoF, but I thought my shoes were big enough and my legs long enough to take it. I strode into my department to find that the events of yesterday had been seemingly forgotten. There was the usual bustle that accompanies working staff, and I felt that today might finally be the day that nothing untowards or unusual happened. Why do I even hold my breath...?

As I went into the office, Polly was just finishing a phone call.

"Yes...I understand...I'll tell him." She hung up, and turned to face me, her eyes watering.

"What?"

"Emmett...your Dad just died."

"...Excuse me?"

"He was hit by a car on his way to the newsagents. He was dead before the ambulance got there. I'm...so sorry, Emmett. Do you want to take the day off?"

"But...today's the first day of the new World Cup campaign - I can't miss it. Millions of people are counting on me. Tell whoever that was that I'll be there as soon as possible, but it won't be until the end of the d-. Did you say on the way to the newsagents?"

"Yeah."

"My Dad lives on a farm. There isn't a newsagents for miles." Just then I heard someone shuffle out from behind the door, and booming laughter filled my office.

"Emmett," Cary said between laughs, "You just passed the second test. Commitment to your job whatever happens is another quality that you just can't do without nowadays."

"Wait a minute...you told me my Dad just died...as a test?"

"I'll admit, it wasn't the best of choices, but I had to pick something that would get you off your feet pretty damn quick. Test three comes up pretty soon - be prepared." Before I could hit him he was gone. Polly, who I had quite forgotten about then perked up.

"I'm sorry, Emmett. He just grabbed me, I couldn't say no! Do you wanna coffee?"

"Coffee'll be great. Thanks, Polly."

"Oh, I've got a message for you."

"What, did my Mum die too?"

"No. Brad Fordham has resigned as your intelligence reporter."

"What? Why?"

"He's seriously ill, and feels that it will affect his work."

"What's he got?"

"The Ebola Virus."

"Oh...okay then. Who's his replacement?" Someone knocked on my already open door.

"I am." I turned to see a woman in her young twenties clutching a clipboard and an electronic notebook. "Shall we get this started?" She invited herself in and sat in the visitor's chair.

"Get what started?"

"Your intelligence briefing on today's game against Iansisle. Would you care to sit?" I was being told to sit down by a woman half my age, but I felt compelled to comply. I sat.

"Okay, now Iansisle are a very strong team. Ranked fourteenth in the world, it's gonna be no mean feat if we're gonna beat them. There are, however, some weaknesses in the side. They tend to underestimate the weaker teams like us, and so they field a weaker side, intending to play their strongest card against their strongest rivals. Now, I have their team sheet for today's game here." She passed it over to me, and I scanned it.

"How did you get this?"

"I'm a woman. How do you think I got it?" She flashed me a seductive smile, and I understood immediately. I liked her already.

"Now, we can use this information to field our strongest side, which I've taken the liberty of drawing up here." She passed me another sheet of paper, which I again scan-read. "If we play it cool, we can get a draw here, maybe even a win if things go our way out there. The referee today isn't one of the best, and there's a chance that he'll make some slack decisions. We may benefit from those. If we get something today, we can use it as a catapult, gaining us some momentum for our next match which, let's face it, can't get much harder. Any questions?" I was still spellbound here.

"Er...um...no."

"Good." She shuffled her papers, got up and left, slamming the door behind her. I turned to Polly, an obvious look of amazement of my face.

"Who was that girl?"

"I don't know, Emmett. Maybe next time she'll stay long enough for you to ask her. Do you think I deserve a raise?"

"A raise? You've been here a day, plus you just told me that my Dad had died. I'm not getting you a raise."

"I think I deserve one."

"For what?"

"Being nice to you."

"You just told me my Dad died! If that's you being nice, I'd hate to see you in a bad mood!"

"Face it, Emmett. The women in your life are wearing the trousers at the moment. Me...the intelligence girl."

"Wait a minute - you do not wear the trousers. She does not wear trousers."

"Oh come on, Emmett! I saw the way you were looking at her."

"How was I looking at her!"

"Lustfully. That's one of the seven deadly sins, you know."

"So now I'm gonna die! Anybody else gonna die in my family? My dog, perhaps?"

"You don't have a dog."

"I KNOW!!!" I got the feeling that Polly and my relationship was going to be complicated. I also had a feeling that mine and the inteliigence girl's relationship was going to get very complicated, very soon.
Tadjikistan
14-01-2005, 14:49
To: Whosoever it May Concern within the Tadjik Government
Re: Forthcoming Lawsuit

Sir/Madam/Other (please select appropriate form of address):

The firm of Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe --- Barristers – Attorneys at Law & Lawn Maintenance - have been retained by the Ministry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages of the Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38 in regards to developing and filing a suit against the Government of Tadjikistan for unauthorized use of intelectual property, to wit: the name "Hooligans".

Details will be provided as we here at Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe develop them. There may be some delay, as we are currently involved in a rather big landscaping project.

Huey Ducke
Louis Ducke

From: Mikoyan and Gurevich law firm
To:The Snub Nose Thirtyeightian that does not like the use of the word hooligan in a public statement from the Tadjik press on hooliganism in the coming qualifications for the Tadjik national football team and therefore hired The firm of Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe --- Barristers – Attorneys at Law & Lawn Maintenance to send us a message saying he did not like it and would take action against the Tadjik government.

The Tadjik press and Government retain to themselves the right to use the word hooligan in its current context. Described below
Hooligan / Hù:Ligen / vandal, rioter ~-ism /vandalism
Starblaydia
14-01-2005, 14:53
Lord Van Honjiik Presents: the All-time Starblaydia XI
Minister for Sport declares the greatest Starblaydi XI ever, over 14 Matchdays

In a star-studded ceremony in the Starblaydia Football Association's Headquarters in the captial city of Jhanna, the Minister for Sport Lord Rikaard Van Honjiik announced the official All-Time Starblaydia Eleven. Made up of public votes and the obligatory panel of 'experts', we can now present Starblaydia's greatest ever.

We've had the live music, the celebrity interviews and the players' own highlights. Lord Van Honjiik himself takes the microphone and presents the team to the nation. With a concert hall full of invited guests and competition winners, the cameras are trained on the Minister for Sport as TVs and radios are tuned in all over Starblaydia.

"Good Evening. In the twenty years that Starblaydia has been playing in international tournaments, we have given Caps to around a hundred players. Those players haved scored over three-hundred-and-fifty goals between them in twenty-five Tournaments."

He stops for a moment as a ripple of applause goes through the audience, then continues on with his speech.

"Literally millions of Starblaydis have voted for this team with through all manners of media. Online, by Phone, Text or even good old Postal Voting, the people of Starblaydia have voted in the largest mass-vote this country has ever seen. Even Lord-Protector Starblayde has voted and let me tell you, his selection was pretty darn close to the final XI."

A small ammount of chuckles littered the Hall, though the reaction for people at home was more of a nodding respect for their leader.

"With the formation and eleven different positions all to fill out, we should get on. And without further ado, here's Starblaydia's Formation..."



Matchday 1 Scores and Tables are now available here. (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7941085&postcount=2) Please do not post in that thread. Thankyou.
Snub Nose 38
14-01-2005, 15:07
Before the group draw, when quali is still far away:

Siki Rej sits in his cave, ...some very funny stuff...As we move the magical camera of RP...more very funny stuff...I LOVE THE MAGICAL CAMERA OF RP!!!
Talzeckia
14-01-2005, 15:39
Tides crash Kylaai's party, 1-0

By all rights, Talzeckia's colonial football team should have no chance whatsoever to even earn a single win in World Cup qualifying. The hastily-assembled bunch barely had time to even know each other's names, let alone learn how to play together. They were facing a veteran Kylaai team that played in the Cup of Harmony after World Cup 19.

But Tides forward Rock took advantage of a shocking blunder by goalkeeper Mandoo Nania to tap a loose ball into the back of the net and the young Talzecki defense made the lead hold up in spite of immense pressure and gave the colony its first-ever win as a World Cup side, 1-0 away.

"We were very fortunate," Coach Avid Mashoda said after the match as a mixture of sweat and Gatorade dripped from his jacket. "Kylaai got the better of the play all day long and we were lucky we got the goal. This will give the Talzecki people something to celebrate."

And celebrate they will. In spite of Kylaai outshooting the Tides 28-6. In spite of losing the possession battle 61 minutes to 29 minutes. In spite of having to replace starting goalkeeper Dave Simpson due to dehydration, the Tides will have something to celebrate as they look to Matchday Two. Nick Reynolds will start the second match for the Tides, against Adam Island. It will be the first game at Tide Field in Talzeckia City, the one-time capital of the country. Workers are still working feverishly to finish Colonial Park in the new capital Constantine, which they hope will be ready for the home leg against Svecia.

Still, the players and the few fans in attendance from Talzeckia could scarcely be faulted for not even thinking that far ahead. They were too busy celebrating an unlikely win.
Sarzonia
14-01-2005, 15:49
Stars off on right foot, 3-0

Portland (ASP) -- This time, the Sarzonian national team was expected to do this well. They were expected to cruise to an easy victory over Ninurta in the opener of World Cup 20, the team's fifth foray into World Cup qualifying. The team did just what they expected to do, getting goals from Cockbill Street-based Barry Alphonso and Druida-based Darwin Russell and defeating Ninurta 3-0 at the Iron Bowl.

Goalkeeper Troy Perkins barely had to break a sweat, making just two saves and the defense only allowed Ninurta to possess the ball for 32 minutes, while the Stars held possession for 58 minutes, spending much of the afternoon in their offensive end of the pitch.

"It was a game where we just executed our gameplan," Coach Dave Wilson said. "I've said all along that if we just play our brand of football, we'll be fine. You saw what we can do when we're able to focus."

The Stars (1-0-0) even had the chance to rest some of their starters after halftime and midfielder Henrik Bastale made his international debut to start the second half. He made his presence felt almost immediately, winning a ball just past the center circle and firing a shot on goal just two minutes after the second half kickoff. He eventually scored an empty net goal as the goalkeeper rushed forward in a desperate attempt to clear the bal lout of danger.

Wilson said that John Bartlett would start the next match, at eighth seeded Nouveau Richelieu, saying he wanted to give Bartlett a look and would even consider starting third choice goalkeeper Mark Tanner.

"We've got to get some of our depth guys some playing time. Hopefully, we'll be able to build some momentum along the way and we won't have to play our starters in a crucial match later on. We want to give our guys experience, but our first goal is to qualify and we'll make sure we do everything in our power to make sure that happens."
Tadjikistan
14-01-2005, 15:50
Tigers and hooligans win

Dushanbe - With the support of the fans the Tigers met one of the weaker teams of the group; Wickerslack. A good opportunity for Luchinsky to test his team. An they past the test with succes. The early minutes were marked by organizational problems in the defensive area's but these were easily masked by the excellence of the Tadjik strikers mounting one attack after the other.
Wickerslack showed the will to score and came close to a first goal in the 24th minute when they struck the left pole of the Tadjik box, but the goals all fell on the other side. Ter Gasparian scored a first goal from an assist by Zaev and the second with the head, passed to him by Kirponos. A last matchending goal came from Koshevoi in the 82th minute, a well placed free kick.
'They did put up a good fight and especially in the first half i feared they would gain the upperhand. Lucky for us, the strikers did a great job made everyone, including Wickerslack, forget about it. There's still some work to be done, right now we can still fool around but we'll have to be ready on matchday 5 for the real thing. Oaker is the first of our opponents that i believe may be a problem, doesnt matter that we won in the WC19 qualifications.'

Although it was an excellent match, most eyes got distracted by groups of hooligans moving down the streets of the capital looking for trouble. And they got it, first with Wickerslack supporters, then with the police. These hooligans did not show up near the stadium as the police had anticipated but instead preferred to target small groups of supporters in hotels and bars all over Dushanbe. The police had some problems moving into the hot spots and arrested only 12 hooligans, while hudreds of others escaped the watchfull eyes of the government.
Police chief Budimir Loncar vowed to make up for the mistake and make the next homematch a safe one 'Oh believe me it will not happen again, General Samblevski has promised me to train and mobilize a couple of his regiments to assist us in our task, I intend to make this city free of all this unacceptable hooliganism. Hooligan leader Nick was not available for any comment.
Snub Nose 38
14-01-2005, 15:59
The dark, overcast skys part, letting through a patch of blue. The incessant rain...ceases. The soggy earth begins to dry, as little rivulets of run-off shrink and disappear. And once again the sun shines down upon the Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38.

Rain-gear is hung up to dry. Umbrellas folded and placed by the door. Convertible car tops are...um...once again converted. Rainbows are in evidence in both the sky, and in smaller versions in the puddles that dot the landscape.

Oh, frabjous day! Calloo, Callay!

Hooligans 2 - San Verdi 0

News article, perhaps in Scuttlebutt, perhaps in The Remington County Record, or perhaps on ASPN, to follow. Right now, all the reporters are out playing in the sunshine, splashing in the puddles, dancing in the streets.

The Hooligans* are back.

*Lawsuit pending vs Tadjikistan, re: unauthorized use of intellectual property
Druida
14-01-2005, 16:36
Rainbows are in evidence in both the sky, and in smaller versions in the puddles that dot the landscape.

To: Dewey, Cheetum and Howe legal types.
From: Trefor, Trevor , Trevor, Trefor and Garth llegal types.

Hey there boys,

You are representing the Snub Nose 38 government types, aren't you? Only we've heard that there were rainbows in the air in your nation. Now, you may or may not be aware that "Rainbows" is the intellectual property of the Druidan national football team, as run by the Druidan FA.

Anyway, they're paying us to tell you that what you saw can in now way be described as "rainbows", as they were not a footballing side from Druida. Nor can they be "spectrums", as that would be our under-21 side.

I say that's what they're paying us to say. To be honest, we just think they're being petty about it, but when we realised just how much it was they were paying us, we decided we better follow it up. Let's put it this way, we could afford some of that really expensive stuff they sell in that really posh shop. Its name escapes me, but I'm sure you know what I'm on about.

Anyway, sorry if we've been a general pain in the backside here, only fair's fair.

Trevor Garth,

Trefor, Trevor, Trevor, Trefor and Garth llegal types.
Praying2God
14-01-2005, 17:20
John Carlson (JC): We're back live from Jerusalem where the WC XX opener between Praying2God and Jerusalem is about to commence. The teams are on the field and ready for the opening kick-off. **whistle blows** Jerusalem kicks off and we are under way here in this opening qualifying match of WC XX. David, how did the Warriors look to you in warm-ups?

David Tall (DT): They looked a bit nervous, John. I hope their nerves are gone now, otherwise they'll be in for a long afternoon.

Lisa Simonson (LS): Jerusalem looked surprisingly nervous during warm-ups too, David. So, it could be interesting to see which team recovers the fastest. If it's the Warriors they might have a prayer of earning a point today, but there's no way they manage to earn all three. Jerusalem is not going to lose their home-opener in qualifying to a team making its return to WC action after a long time away.


**8th Minute**

JC: Jerusalem's on the attack. Shami launches a shot from the edge of the box...it's just turned over by Warriors keeper Sarah Walker.

DT: Jerusalem has certainly stepped up their level of play since the game kicked-off. They are clearly outplaying the Warriors right now.

LS: As they were expected to, David. Jerusalem is a highly ranked side, and were expected to outplay the Warriors like this.

JC: Is the fact that the Warriors haven't gotten the ball into Jerusalem's half yet a cause for concern?

LS: Definitely. You need to get possession on their side of the field before you have any chance of scoring.

DT: Not really. One team or the other tends to dominate the early portions of opening matches, and play tends to even out as the tournament goes along.

JC: The corner by Jerusalem is in the box...Walker is caught on the wrong side of the net...Gregorium heads it wide!

DT: The Warriors really caught a break there, John. Gregorium's inexperience on the national team may have cost Jerusalem the early lead.


**29th minute**

JC: Jerusalem continues to dominate play here in the first half. They've managed three shots on goal, but Walker has been up to the task so far. Khidar steals the ball from Ashley Gore and finds a wide open Gregorium...who's off on a breakaway...he only has Walker to beat...he shoots...it's off the cross bar and is cleared by Holly. The Warriors catch yet another break on a chance by Gregorium.

LS: There's no way that the Warriors are going to be this lucky all game long, John. Sooner or later, Walker is going to have to pick a ball up from the back of the net.

DT: I don't know about that, Lisa. The cliche says that "sometime's it's better to be lucky than good." The Warriors are sure living by that saying right now.


**Halftime**

JC: It's halftime here in Jerusalem, with the score between the Warriors and Jerusalem still 0-0. What are your impressions of the first half?

DT: The Warriors certainly haven't backed down from the fight. They haven't had any good chances to score yet, but as they say "it only takes one chance..."

LS: The Warriors have definitely been outplayed so far. Jerusalem still looks a bit rusty, John. I find it hard to believe that their coach is going to let them continue to play this poorly in the second half.

JC: What do you expect to see in the second half?

LS: More domination by Jerusalem, as they finally shake off the rust and win easily.

DT: I expect we'll more of what we saw in the first half, John. A good defensive job done by both sides. I do agree with Lisa...Jerusalem looks a little bit rustier than normal so far. I'm curious though, John, how does it feel to have correctly picked the score at halftime?

JC: There's still a lot of soccer to be played, David. Anything can happen. As for us...we're going to commerical break and will be back in time for the second half kick-off...

**77th minute**

JC: Jerusalem has been just as dominant here in the second half, as they are outshooting the Warriors 6-0, but the numbers that matter are still even, as we are still scoreless in the 77th minute. Jerusalem has the ball just outside the Warriors' box...Longshanks plays the ball into the box for Shami...who collides with Luke Royal...and both of them go down hard. The ref is indicating a penalty kick for Jerusalem. Shabmaran to take it...he's ready...here it goes...Walker guesses correctly and makes the save!

DT: Amazing! The Warriors are continuing to get the breaks when they need them. They still have not had a good chance to score against Amin, who has yet to make a save.

LS: I'm surprised that the game is scoreless at this point. Jerusalem is having really bad luck today. They should be leading 5-0 right now.


**90th minute**

JC: Jerusalem continues to have sustained pressure in the Warriors' end. The Jerusalem coach is waving their goalie forward to give them an extra attacker. Is that necessarily a wise move?

LS: Absolutely, John. The Warriors have offered no indication of having an offense to fear and the extra attacker will help free somebody up and most likely lead to a score for Jerusalem and the 1-0 win.

DT: I'm not so sure, Lisa. Thomas Larson has quite a leg if he can get a good look, but he hasn't managed that yet.

JC: Jerusalem still retains possession. The ref indicates that we'll have one minute of stoppage time. Coward passes the ball towards Abbas, but it's a weak pass intercepted by Warriors midfielder Kevin Faith...who makes a pass up the right sideline...where he has a WIDE OPEN Larson...Amin turns to sprint back to cover the net...he trips over his own feet and falls down! Larson has nobody between him and the empty net, but Silverstein is catching him fast from behind...Larson lauches the ball from midfield towards the Jerusalem net in hopes to preserve the draw...the ball lands just outside the Jerusalem box...and it bounces towards the Jerusalem net...AND IT BOUNCES RIGHT IN!!!!! THE WARRIORS LEAD 1-0 AS THOMAS LARSON SCORES FROM MIDFIELD IN THE 90TH MINUTE!!!!! What a turn of events!

LS: I can't believe what I just saw, John. There is no way that Larson makes that shot 99 times out of 100. The degree of difficulty on that shot is way too high.

DT: However, the other team also has generally not pulled their goalie so far away from the net. What a finish we have here in Jerusalem! Barring another miracle, the Warriors will have picked up a huge confidence boost with #14 Iansisle coming to the House of Prayer for the next match.

**whistle blows**

JC: That's the end of the match, and the Warriors have shocked the soccer world by pulling off the upset in Jerusalem 1-0!!! Amazing! I can now safely say "I told you so," soccer fans...as the Warriors have pulled the upset, and David and Lisa are still flirting with each other. For David Tall and Lisa Simonson; I'm John Carlson saying "good bye" from Jerusalem.



Praying2God 1 (Larson 90)
Jerusalem 0
Eauz
14-01-2005, 17:45
*Dedicated to my girlfriends younger sister, who recently passed away.

“I had no idea it would happen. Why, it is unexplainable.” The coach, Joseuf said to himself. “Especially as the cup was just about to start.”…

Flashback, a week earlier…

Rousoi was getting ready to join the club on Sunday for practice with the national team. Arriving at the stadium by train, he met up with his teammates and friends. Things were going well for him. They had been training as a team for a few months already, but had a break to spend time with family earlier. That day, Rousoi was get back into shape, but looked a bit sluggish during training. His mind was elsewhere, but didn’t want to say anything. He had expressed that he is frustrated with the fact that ever since he took over the keeper position, the team can’t seem to win. Teammates though told him, that it was a collective problem, not just an individualistic problem. The coach saw that Rousoi’s mind was not in the training, so he told Rousoi to leave training early. André Bedeau was brought in to replace Rousoi for the day. Training ended, and as the players entered the locker room, they saw that Rousoi had left his mark, as many things were left upturned and in a mess, though there was no sign of Rousoi. Rousoi must have left for home.

Rousoi joined back in the trainings, till the day of the first qualifying match. Players started to arrive at the stadium, getting ready for the match, but there was no Rousoi in sight. Ten minutes before the match started, Rousoi was still nowhere in sight. The coach thus gave André Bedeau the job of keeper for the match against Pterodactyl. At recess, there was still no sign of Rousoi, and Les Bleus were leading 1 – 0. Police were informed of the missing of Rousoi at the half time, and started searching for him. Finally the match ended, and Eauz finished the match off by winning 2 – 0, but still without any sign of Rousoi.

Days went by, and still no sign of him, as his wife became worried about him. Then, 4 days after the match, a call from the police came in to the wife and the office of the Eauz national team. Michël Rousoi was found dead in an alleyway. Cause of death was that he hung himself…
Sarzonia
14-01-2005, 18:11
UPSET SPECIAL
The latest victims of Margaret's largesse

GROUP TWO
Commerce Heights (20) 1, Kipto-Mare (66) 2
Not many people know what to expect from a team that doesn't even identify its players, but they certainly didn't expect a mostly unknown Kipto-Mare team to earn an away win against the evil capitalizts of Commerce Heights. In terms of shock value, this barely registers a ripple. It's more of a head-scratcher.

GROUP THREE
Eystrck (50) 0, Crystilakere (3) 0
The defending World Cup champion Crystils likely have a target painted on their backs following their Cinderfella run to glory in the last Cup. Still, a team that plays in the brutal Atlantian Oceania region should have expected more of itself. This one's an eyebrow-raiser.

Iansisle (14) 2, South Osettia (73) 2
Because this match was in Iansisle and they were 14th ranked, this is listed as an upset, though a Baptism of Fire Cup champion can often surprise teams in their inaugural World Cup. It's because of that history that this isn't listed as one of the biggest upsets there was.

Jeruselem (27) 0, Praying2God (118) 1
For a team returning to the international stage after a long layoff, beating a highly-ranked team is a bit of a surprise even though Jeruselem has a history of underachieving. This one is one of the biggest surprises, but whether it is THE biggest is up for debate.

GROUP SIX
Wella (29) 2, East Lithuania (102) 2
As lightly regarded as Wella sometimes is among the elite teams in the world, they still should have easily won a match against a 102nd ranked team when playing in front of their home supporters. The loss of two standings points may come back to haunt them later after this mild surprise of a result.

GROUP SEVEN
Kaze Progressa (8) 1, Sliponia (63) 1
A team that has been one of the elite teams of the past playing a 1-1 draw against the world's 63rd ranked team at home comes as a notable surprise. However, it's not even the biggest shock of its group. Kaze Progressa may eventually qualify, but not without some nightmares from this result.

Kylaai (41) 0, Talzeckia (150) 1
The biggest shocker of the first match day finds a team on the verge of being one of the world's better sides getting humbled at home by a team that never played an international game until last night. The Tides become the only unranked team to win in an absolute shocker of a result.

GROUP EIGHT
Lovisa (13) 3, Five Civilized Nations (80) 4
Anyone who watched the Baptism of Fire Cup knew that Five Civilized Nations was a good football team, but hardly anyone expected them to go to the world's 13th ranked side and win. Even though Lovisa may be the world's least respected top-20 team, they still couldn't have expected to lose this match.

GROUP TEN
Bedistan (18) 1, Qia (76) 1
A team that once was one of the glory teams in the world has fallen on hard times in recent years. A 1-1 result at home to a 76th ranked team may hurt their qualifying chances later. With a semifinalist in the last World Cup and two teams known for being on the rise, Bedistan needs to get its act together and fast.
Fmjphoenix
14-01-2005, 18:37
Vikings overpower Nouveau Richelieu for first win

Larry Brown had a plan when he got called up from the U21 team. THat plan was to help win games. That is exactly what he helped do today. Now, with Brown, the Vikings duo of Mike Nolan and Jorge Mendel has turned into a trio, as Brown scored his first two goals in his first World Cup en route to a 4-2 victory over Nouveau Richelieu.

Larry Brown struck first with a Matrix style move that froze the Nouveau Richelieu team in its tracks. One of their defenders went to slide tackle the ball away from Brown when he took the ball up with one foot, held onto it with his legs, flipped up, over, and around the defender in an action that can only be described as fluidly. When he set down with the ball noone even saw his leg kick up and fire the ball at the Nouveau Richelieu goalkeeperfor the first points of the match. That was only 3 minutes into the game.We shall not talk about the next 25 minutes, as they we refered as ''slani'' by a few dedicated watchers, but suffice to say, Nouveau Richelieu put two past Powell Lamar to put them up in a early 2-1 lead. That would not last, as Mendel bullied through for a goal at 44 minutes to tie it 2-2.

During the break, 5 players somehow broke down onto the field and started having a fight. Security came in and tried to break it up, but were dispatched like they were childs play toys. Then someone came in with the Golden Cafetiere that someone had managed to steal back from Rejistania. The five people stopped dead in their tracks when they came up with the Golden Cafetiere and started bowing repeatedly. They were then apprehanded and are probably now facing cafienee withdrawls and going through very intense interrogation. People think they may indeed have been from Rejistania, trying to take the Golden Cafetiere back, but that is still unknown.

Anyway, back to football. The Vikings came out strong and never looked back as Nolan took an assist from Jason Mitchell in making it 3-2 at 56 minutes and Brown scored the last goal of the game, and his second at 74 minutes. Nothing big happened in the second half. Just players running up and down the field for 45 minutes as the Vikings took on its first opening win in the World Cup. After a successful home matchup, the Vikings will be traveling to Haperd looking for their second win in the World Cup. And next up at 10, weather in your area....

Fmjphoenix: 4
(Brown 3, 74: Mendel 44: Nolan 56)

Nouveau Richelieu: 2
(Unkown 12, 24)

World Cup XX Qualification:
MD01: Fmjphoenix vs. Nouveau Richelieu Win 4-2
MD02: Fmjphoenix @ Haperd
MD03: Fmjphoenix vs. Qia
MD04: Fmjphoenix @ Ninurta
MD05: Fmjphoenix @ Sarzonia
MD06: Fmjphoenix vs. Total n Utter Insanity
MD07: Fmjphoenix @ Bedistan
MD08: Fmjphoenix @ Noveau Richelieu
MD09: Fmjphoenix vs. Hapred
MD10: Fmjphoenix @ Qia
MD11: Fmjphoenix vs. Ninurta
MD12: Fmjphoenix vs. Sarzonia
MD13: Fmjphoenix @ Total n Utter Insanity
MD14: Fmjphoenix vs. Bedistan
Record: 1-0-0
Jeruselem
14-01-2005, 19:38
Jeruselem Government News

Jeruselem get 1st game blues

First game of World Cup XX and the favourites had problems. Jeruselem did it's normal "lose one of it's the early game" thing and lost to Praying2God 1-0 while the predicted Group 3 leaders managed only draws and Legalese got a start winning 4-1.

Jeruselem have always had trouble with teams using 2 in the middle of their name like Dance2Revolution. Today it was Praying2God ironically who won the game of Holy teams. The team looked a little rusty but were basically solid. The attack simply wasn't in tune, but it's early days and they usually improve in the end as they get used to other team's defenses.

Group 3
Crystilakere [0] Eystrck [0]
Iansisle [2] South Osettia [2]
Jeruselem [0] Praying2God [1]
Legalese [4] Nevigrad [1]
GT-R
14-01-2005, 19:46
We Lose the Match, but We Won The Respect
Svecia 2 - 1 GT-R

Despite the loss to Svecia, The Borderlands of GT-R showed that they would be something to be watched by the nations who tried to treat us as some kind of "points giveaway".

Before the match, the nation and the team was in very high mood. Reuteler, in particular, showed his agility by somersaulting in a press conference, who was responded by awe of the journalists.

Prior to the Racers went into the stadium premises, Fuller issued a press conference stating that "Whatever the result, it's okay; its the experience that matter."

As they went out of the tunnel, tens of thousands of fans are cheering for both teams. Most of them would be for Svecia, although 7000 were brave and lucky enough to secure a seat in the stadium. The Multicolor and The R-Flag were drifting in the breeze, unfurled, in the great atmosphere of the stadium.

Evereything went well, for the Racers' first match in a A-grade competition. Just at 3 minutes, their first chance came. Passerino made a low cross to Craig Eastwood, who gained his first cap, but he got tackled before he got a chance to let it fly. 2 minutes later, a missed pass put Lund at a dangerous position, though he could not keep the shot down.

Svecia got its chances, yet a deep cross was headed away by Weegar, rose above a attacker. A counter did provide the space for the Svecia team, but a through ball was collected by Woods.

Contary to pre-match analysis, the Racers got the momentum and controlled the match, at least for the first half. At 18 minutes, a golden chance fly by, as Matthews forced the ball past a defender. It was unlucky that the finish was parried wide by the goalkeeper.

For the Svecia fans, the first half was like a nightmare, and the scene at 24 minutes did not help. Matthews found the net after the keeper was out of position, heading for Lund before he passed into the six-yard box. Crofutt skipped over it, and it was a simple tap for Matthews.

After the unanticipated drop, Svecia finally know they were losing, and fought back as there was no tomorrow. A attacker stroke some fear into the hearts of the Racers by dribbling pass Harshaw and Weegar before attempting at goal, but luckily the shot was well held by Woods.

However, a lob by HMM reminded that if they were to push forward, be prepared for the same amount of additional pressure. He made the shot at 40 yards from the line on the right wing, evaded the keeper completely, but Svecia was lucky to found out that the shot was wide.

Still, they retained the pressure. As the game built up, at 38 minutes, a through pass from the playmaker was wreaking havoc on the Racers. Under the pressure of Ted Wong, the striker squeezed one in, but he missed it by a mile. 3 minutes later, another through ball was made by Svecia, this time met the head of a forward, who nod it down before a winger powered one in. Woods got his positioning wrong, but the shot was just wide, which left the winger in despair, as he really deserved that goal.

He made up his fault at the injury time. As he ran forward, receiving a pass from the another winger, he was free of his marker. Immediately, he shot hard and low, which Woods did parried. Woods was so unlucky that he in fact put the ball in the net. It did not constitute an own goal, as the ball would be in the net anyway, and no keeper could took hold of such a powerful shot. Svecia drew level.

The match was all square at the start of the latter half, but instead of facing a sleeping Svecia, the Racers saw a gust, a storm, a typhoon, a tsunami, or everything you could associate with a rush of a horde of buffalos, rhinos, elephants, war beasts; you name it. Just 5 minutes after the break, a corner was played well, met the head of a Svecia defender, but the header was over the bar. Then a free kick was bent in but wide.

(to be continued)
Snub Nose 38
14-01-2005, 19:52
To: Dewey, Cheetum and Howe legal types.
From: Trefor, Trevor , Trevor, Trefor and Garth llegal types.

Hey there boys,

You are representing the Snub Nose 38 government types, aren't you? Only we've heard that there were rainbows in the air in your nation. Now, you may or may not be aware that "Rainbows" is the intellectual property of the Druidan national football team, as run by the Druidan FA.

Anyway, they're paying us to tell you that what you saw can in now way be described as "rainbows", as they were not a footballing side from Druida. Nor can they be "spectrums", as that would be our under-21 side.

I say that's what they're paying us to say. To be honest, we just think they're being petty about it, but when we realised just how much it was they were paying us, we decided we better follow it up. Let's put it this way, we could afford some of that really expensive stuff they sell in that really posh shop. Its name escapes me, but I'm sure you know what I'm on about.

Anyway, sorry if we've been a general pain in the backside here, only fair's fair.

Trevor Garth,

Trefor, Trevor, Trevor, Trefor and Garth llegal types.
TO: Trefor, Trevor, Trevor, Trefor and Garth llegal types
FROM: Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe, Attorneys at Law and Lawn Maintenance Experts
RE: Intellectual Property Suit...s

Honorable Trever Garth...or, should we say, Honorable "Margaret" Garth...

Gentle Sir: It cannot have escaped your attention that the intellectual property lawsuit against Druida for using the name "Margaret", as well as certain "Margaretish" devices (leather pouches, to name one) , originally filed, we believe, during the qualification round of World Cup 17, has not been brought to conclusion.

Hmmm....

The citizenry of the Frost-Free Borderlands is rather in the habit of referring to those colorful arched displays in the sky, sometines known as "L'arc en ciel" or "Regenbogen", as...dare we say it?...a "Rainbow". We believe it would be difficult, if not impossible, to arrange for all Snub Nosians...Snub Probuscians...Snub Nose Thirty-somethings...eh...to refrain from using the apparently copy-written term. The option, I suppose, would be to pay some pre-arranged and agreed upon fee annually to allow the use of the term "Rainbow" within the Frost-Free Borderlands. "Spectrum" we can do without, I believe.

Or...

Perhaps...

We could draft up a legally binding document, allowing for the use of the term "Rainbow" by the citizenry of Snub Nose 38 in perpetuity, in exchange for us dropping the intellectual property suit vs Druida re: Margaret and things Margaretish.

We await your response with baited breath.

Huey and Louis Ducke,
Attorneys, Barristers, Lawyers, Lawn Care Guys.
EL CID THE HERO
14-01-2005, 19:59
EL CID NEWS.
NEWS YOU CAN USE.

sports news

here we go again

The day has finally arrived. WC 20 is on and ECTH is revved up. With a new side and some new faces there is a genuine expectance that the cid lions can finally get to the round of 16.

The biggest shock to the line up is that the lions now not only have 1 girl but two. With Kim Dash as the new keeper and Jo Slime as a centre forward the team now caries a new atmosphere with them. Jonny Doomhammer had this to say. "I am the manager. i do what is best for the team. The girls have talent, and if this means Niemi is put on the bench for a game or two then so be it."

Kim Dash, sister of "Huggy" Dash, said this. "Me and my bro. love football. We live and bereave it. We both have trained hard and I think we both earned our place.

With these new faces El Cid look like the side it is. One that improves and one that is becoming strong. How will the team perform? Will Kim, kan, Trotter and co do well?

read and you will find

Group 4
Melmond ::11::
EL CID THE HERO ::17::
The Belmore Family ::26::
Raptor Claw ::36::
Slaikau ::52::
Nonesuch Street ::69::
Pedriana ::97::
Harlesburg ::118::


MD01: El Cid the hero v Nonesuch Street
MD02: Pedriana v El Cid the hero
MD03: El Cid the hero v Harlesburg
MD04: Slaikau v El Cid the hero
MD05: Melmond v El Cid the hero
MD06: The Belmore Family v El Cid the hero
MD07: El Cid the hero v Raptor Claw

OCC: PS will do match later in new format
Snub Nose 38
14-01-2005, 20:21
PRESS RELEASE - Ministry of Statistics, Other Totally Useless Information, and Band Aids

The Minister of Statistics, Other Totally Useless Information, and Band Aids had the third assistant undersecretary for charts, graphs, and irrelevancy produce the following chart for immediate release, which he then released...uh...immediately.


Group 6
National Side P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Audioslavia 1 1 0 0 3 1 2 3
One Red Dot 1 1 0 0 3 1 2 3
Snub Nose 38 1 1 0 0 2 0 2 3
Wella 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
East Lithuania 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
Spaam 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0
Giant Zucchini 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0
San Verdi 1 0 0 1 0 2 -2 0
Five Civilized Nations
14-01-2005, 20:26
Five Civilized Nations Fight Lovisa For a Victory

In a remarkable display of athleticism, the 80th ranked Five Civilized Nations Stellar National Team resolutely fought the Lovisa team throughout the entire opening game match, resulting in a final 4-3 victory for the National Team on what would prove to be one of the greatest goals achieved by the Five Civilized Nations in football history.

The game opened without incident with the Lovisa national team gaining the ball. Stout defense by both sides kept the ball away from the goal until the 17th minute when a penalty call allowed the Lovisan star forward to score a goal. However, retaliation was swift as the Five Civilized Nations scored in swift succession two goals, both from assists from the dynamic and deadly duo of Ma Qiang and Ma Xiong, who with skillful passing and ball dribbling allowed forwards Yu Yan and Zhong Jin to score in the 26th and 27th minutes.

Flush with this lead, the National defense became lenient and fell apart under the Lovisan onslaught, resulting in the relinquishment of two goals in the 34th and 43rd minute. When the first half ended two minutes after the second Lovisan goal, the National Team was losing 3-2.

When the second half began, the National Team began its important substitutions, removing two of the three forwards and replacing them with Zhu Heng and Huo Jun.

In the 77th minute, Ma Xiong outmanuevered the Lovisan defenders and scored another goal, followed minutes later by a beautiful pass to Yu Yan, which sealed the victory for the National Team.

Match Scorecard
Five Civilized Nations Yu Yan (26:17, 78:41)
Zhong Jin (27:15)
Ma Xiong (77:18)
Lovisa Gregor Lunz (17,34)
Mariusz Franke (43)

Player Highlights

Ma Xiong [67]--1 goal (77:18), 2 assists (26:17, 78:41)
Yu Yan [88]--2 goals (26:17, 78:41)
Li Xiang [75]--3 saves
Total n Utter Insanity
14-01-2005, 20:28
Kaze Progressa (8) 1, Sliponia (63) 1
A team that has been one of the elite teams of the past playing a 1-1 draw against the world's 63rd ranked team at home comes as a notable surprise. However, it's not even the biggest shock of its group. Kaze Progressa may eventually qualify, but not without some nightmares from this result.

Insanician 1: Look-see here.

Insanician 2: Kaze Progressa was an elite team of the past?

Insanician 1: Whatever those Sarzominions are on I want some.

Insanician 2: Aren't these dialogs meant to contain comedy/humorous situations.

Insanician 1: Yeah, but mainly it's just pointing out other people are wrong and KP sucked, suck and will continue to suck for a long time into the future.
Snub Nose 38
14-01-2005, 21:43
To: Whosoever it May Concern within the Tadjik Government
Re: Forthcoming Lawsuit

Sir/Madam/Other (please select appropriate form of address):

The firm of Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe --- Barristers – Attorneys at Law & Lawn Maintenance - have been retained by the Ministry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages of the Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38 in regards to developing and filing a suit against the Government of Tadjikistan for unauthorized use of intelectual property, to wit: the name "Hooligans".

Details will be provided as we here at Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe develop them. There may be some delay, as we are currently involved in a rather big landscaping project.

Huey Ducke
Louis Ducke From: Mikoyan and Gurevich law firm
To:The Snub Nose Thirtyeightian that does not like the use of the word hooligan in a public statement from the Tadjik press on hooliganism in the coming qualifications for the Tadjik national football team and therefore hired The firm of Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe --- Barristers – Attorneys at Law & Lawn Maintenance to send us a message saying he did not like it and would take action against the Tadjik government.

The Tadjik press and Government retain to themselves the right to use the word hooligan in its current context. Described below
Hooligan / Hù:Ligen / vandal, rioter ~-ism /vandalism

TO: The Government and People of Tadjikistan

FROM: Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe --- Barristers – Attorneys at Law & Lawn Maintenance --- Representing the Ministry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages of the Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38

RE: Damages, Unauthorized Use of Intellectual Property, to whit: the name “Hooligans”

Sir/Madam/Other (please select appropriate form of address):

In regards to your claim that “Hooligan” is a common word or term, we advise you to turn away as we laugh up our figurative sleeve. Ah, what the heck, we’ll be laughing up our actual sleeves.

We make no argument that the term “Hooligan” does not connote/denote a vandal or rioter, nor that the term “Hooliganism”, does not carry the connotation/denotation of vandalism. Of course not. Hah! (sorry – laughing up the ol’ sleeve again)

Or, more appropriately, of course. The term “Hooligan” entered the lexicon (dragging with it the term “Hooliganism”, kicking and screaming) to describe those with behavior like (and that specific behavior of) members of the national football side of the Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38 – known as “THE HOOLIGANS” for time immemorial.

And that is the argument we will make in court.

Unless, of course, some sort of offer were made and accepted that would make the entire lawsuit moot. Say, something in a large brown paper bag in small denominations, but adding up to what we like to refer to as “a sizeable sum”, placed surreptitiously in the hollow of the old oak tree just inside the south entrance to central park in our fine capital city of Sten. Just a thought…

Ah…sorry…have to get back to the topiary.

In the Sincere Hope of Resolving this I$$ue,

Huey Ducke
Louis Ducke

Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe
Attorneys, Barristers, Lawyers, Lawn Maintenance
The Belmore Family
14-01-2005, 21:50
Belmorians discover time machiine

A time machine has been discovered against all odds in the house of commons during a heated debate. Just as shadow cabinet got hit by a projectile fillled wiith flour. A tall 7'3'' man walked out and said "don't use for travel to the...." and promptly died. this slightly bemused Prime Minister Alan Belmore who then walked into the time machine against his top aides wishes. He reported on what happened:

I entered the ship and I was greeted by the ship asking me 'where do you wish to travel and to what time?' I told the ship to take me to the Alan City football stadium. Not only was I delivered there but was I offered several oppertunities. I hope this will help us learn about the future and the past and we plan to put it to full effect. Thanks You.
Lovisa
14-01-2005, 22:02
http://www.biezanow.net/~dominik/TVLovun/tvlovunsport-football.gif

amaizing lost

They was big accident. Lovisa lost first match in our stadium. My team play good but I dont know what happen. - says Paweł Janas, Lovisan couch.


Lovisa
Gregor Lunz (17,34)
Mariusz Franke (43)

Five Civilized Nations
Yu Yan (26,78)
Zhong Jin (27)
Ma Xiong (77)
Lethislavania
14-01-2005, 22:43
Turori [2] - [1] Lethislavania

Momentus surges of energy filled the stadium, as all of Leninstan pulsed with the vicious yearning for the next world cup. Tickets, the prized slips of paper, had sold out two weeks after the last world cup. The new flag of The Socialist Republic wove proudly, it's banners a reminder of the colourful patchwork that is Lethislavania. After all, today was Patriot Day.

Thomas Boeing solemnly walked onto the field, his unform pure red. "Today, ladies and gentleman, we will hold a moment of silence." Blared the loudspeaker, it's metallic voice crisp and daunting. Both teams lined up, but only the Lethislavanian side bowed their heads. In the distance, a beautiful soprano voice carried over the people.

Faire and just,
Her beauty bright,
Guide us through the daunting night.
Liberty, and valor true,
Might we hold our value too.

Grasp the sword, of might refrain,
Show the hard work, grain by grain.
Sow the fields of your life,
Hand your people nothing trife.
Grant the wishes be.

Our faire country, we love thee.

The Turori side cracked up viciously, and Thomas walked over, his feet pounding the earth angerily. "Shut the hell up, you bloody pricks!" He yelled, spit flying out of his mouth. Crimson shot around his cheeks, and the opponents glared, then burst out laughing, pointing at him like a caged animal.

He angerily shot back to the ball, ready to win. The ball came into play, and the game began, players furiously shooting around the field. The ball glanced back and forth for the first 15 minutes, but the Lethislavanian side finally got control, and Thomas surged, his heart pounding. He raced around Cuolia Tuirma, who looked quite stymied at the velocity at which Thomas was approaching. Spinning around, Thomas flung the ball half way across the field. Cel Karra headed it back over, and Thomas slid, sending the ball spinning into the upper-left hand corner of the goal. The infamous Lethislavanian crowd surged forward like a fabled-tsunami, the thunderous applause deafening. Sweat poured down Boeing's face, cascading off his chin onto the dark green grass.

The rest of the game went downhill from there. Late in the first half, Nikki Inostraza shot around Karnesky and drilled one over Jorge, resulting in a goal with :15 left on the bright red clock. After the verbal lashing from Aroyyo, the Lethislavanian side suffered another defeat early into the second half, with Inostraza pounding another ball in. Confused and losing, the Fighting Green never made it passed the half-way line again.
Hiiraan
14-01-2005, 22:48
Hiiraan Loses First game
TEN next on Hiiraans list

The Hiiraanian Men are have lost the first game and the Squornshelous men left happy in their first game of this cup, "however bad it my seem for the team, I and all the fans wish them a happy next game" said one spectator, But the coaches were alot angry and alot wanting from the players, on his daily press conference, the coach made sure to mention that some players were both not ready to play and purely lazy, some surely thought he was talking about the mooning move made by one of the Hiiranian players to some Squornshelous fans at the end of second half of the game.

However bad the team may have felt, they will practice more and wait for the TEN players come to us in Hiiraan and expect to go home as failures, they have already won their first game big against the Kingsford team, for that reason, we need to work harder, better and faster than normal, Ten is hard challange and we should look forward to kickin their butts.

Records

L -W-D

1-0-0

MD01: Squornshelous L 4-1
MD02: The Eagles Nest
MD03: The Weegies
MD04: Liverpool England
MD05: Kingsford
MD06: Ratvipa
MD07: Antaeus Rising
MD08:@Squornshelous
MD09:@The Eagles Nest
MD010:@The Weegies
MD011:@Liverpool England
MD012:@Kingsford
MD013:@Ratvipa
MD014:@Antaeus Rising



Group 9 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Liverpool England 1 1 0 0 5 0 3 +5
Squornshelous 1 1 0 0 4 1 3 +3
The Eagles Nest 1 1 0 0 2 1 3 +1
The Weegies 1 1 0 0 2 1 3 +1
Antaeus Rising 1 0 0 1 1 2 0 -1
Kingsford 1 0 0 1 1 2 0 -1
Hiiraan 1 0 0 1 1 4 0 -3
Ratvipa 1 0 0 1 0 5 0 -5
Bedistan
14-01-2005, 23:04
The Bedistan Sports Digest

Here We Go Again
World Cup Nineteen: redux

SONOMA CITY -- Fans were filing out of Fillmore National Stadium this time four years ago, disappointed over the Bedistani national team's inability to scrape more than a draw against highly unfavored Big Pimento. Today, they got to repeat that process, banging their heads on the stadium walls after another opening 1-1 draw, this time against Qia.

Really, the only thing in the match worth mentioning was Vanessa Carpenter's second-half goal that ended Qia's lead, procured sixteen minutes into the match. Otherwise, there was the usual lackluster, uninspired play that has been the bread and butter of Bedistani international football for the last twelve years.

"I paid thirty bucks to see this?" complained a fan leaving the stadium after full time. "Hell, Reston could've held that group to a draw!" Reston FC finished last in the BPL Fourth Division this past season with an 8-7-27 record.

FINAL SCORE
Bedistan 1 (Carpenter 65)
Qia 1 (16)
Vilita
14-01-2005, 23:15
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/logo.gif

Vilita Beat Finrods, Again [3-1]

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif
Vilita Goalscorers::
1' Sublé Tonic
57' Sublé Tonic
83' Christian Sanou
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

-------------------


Full Time Analysis:

Vilita

Best Player: Ricky Ezis
Worst Player: Sublé Tonic
Shots on Target: 10
Corner Kicks: 8

Opponents

Best Player:
Worst Player:
Shots on Target: 4
Corner Kicks: 3


http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/teamsheet.gif
Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Jimmy Kater, [D] Ricky Ezis, [D] Andrea Lamberti, [D] Esemar Aliana, [DMC] Christian Sanou, [ML] Santo Kecker, [MC] Marasent Sioane, [MC] Jacques Vintila, [MR] Sublé Tonic, [FC] Callum Banda, [FC] Serge DuPont,
BENCH::
[FC] Riccardo Appolloni, [FC] Germán Salomón, [M] Antonis Siazzu, [M] Malovar Stokks, [U] Giacomo Adika, [D] Sibusiso Azaïez, [GK] Delain Falcón,

Vilita Substitutions::
(45) - Ricky Ezis >>> Giacomo Adika
The Weegies
14-01-2005, 23:28
"Come on." Harris glanced about the bar nervously, ticket in hand, daft hat on head.
"Nae bother." Wilson looked decidedly happier than normal, and conspicuously drunker.
"Come oan." Harris' voice took a different, richer tone to it.
"Now, dearie." Wilson gave a grin that would make sharks look nice and unassuming. "We wouldn't want you tae be betrayin' yer Lylian roots, would ye?"
"Oh, piss aff."
"We've got plenty of time to get to.. tothe game, yeah?"
"Well, if you count ten minutes to kickoff as loads o' time, then yeah."
"What..thefrrrgrrye talkin' about?"
"Did you not notice that most of the rest of our lot have gone?"
Wilson veered upwards and made straight for the exit - one of them, at least. "Well, let's bloody well go, then!" he said, ranting throughout as he wobbled up the street, Harris hot on his tails, pushing past some of the stragglers.
......

"Who we facin', Harris?"
Both had managed to find a seat down at Green End, where the core of the Islander's Army sat. They hoped no-one had claimed it first, but they couldn't see any of the drinks or pies or green-and-blue coloured tat that was the preserve of the Weegie fan that wished to save his seat whilst he queued for a hamburger of questionable origin. The stadium was packed, a waving horde of screaming Weegie fans, casual and hardcore in their garb of blue and green that made the entire stadium look like an undulating sea, chanting various friendly hostilities to the tiny contingent of Antaeus Rising fans that had taken up a small area at the Weaver's End...

#We've never heard of you,
We've never heard of you,
Weeeeee've ne-ver heard of you.

We've never heard of you,
We've never heard of you,
And we don't give a @%*!#

"Antaeus Rising, mate. Whipping boys of the group, according to the Star"
"What do they know? I remember them, fallen on hard times, have they?"
"Aye, seems so."
"Nae bother. W'll steamrollerthm."
"That's the booze talkin'."
"Aye, but do you care?"
"Nah, here comes the boys!"

Announcer: And now, trying for World Cup Qualification is... Marshall, Webster, Ingram, Sharkey, Freiburg, McArdle, Beatty, Balfour, Sanderson, Yaterly, Riordan!

"Second-string, in't it?"
"Aye, just a bit."

........

Back at the bar, we see the blue neon sign "Bar Thistle" out front, pennants of Weegie football teams and various photos of legendary Thistle Celtic players decorating the minimalist selection of tables and chairs, as well as the slick, metallic bar, with the bored owner looking bemused as the celebrations continued about, although to a small extent, as it was only a small victory, but a good start nonetheless. The game was replaying on the screen, with Riordan skinning around an Anteaus player.

"I mean, can ye believe that?" said Wilson, definitely cheered up from earlier.
"Could have been four or five." grunted the other man, more focussed on the television replaying Falaigh Riordan's 24-minute strike, a screamer into the top left corner from the edge of the area, with the Anteaus goalkeeper straining his already ample frame to try to get a finger to it.
"Bloody good goalkeeper, anyway. What do you say, Harris?"
"I say you've sobered up. Davie, hasn't he?"
"Aye, well, Harris, sober for people like us is strictly relative."
"And we're in the pub."
"Hair of the dog that bit me." grinned Wilson.
"Effin' werewolf that bit ye." joked Davie.
"Hey, well, Dan the Man, eh?"
"Please tell me you're no referring to Riordan, Davie."
"I might be. That'll be what it is in the papers."
"Here's hopin' not." Wilson raised a glass. "Tae a lack of smart-arse puns in headlines!"
The others clinked glasses and downed their various drinks, Davie with his pint taking longer than the others. "Tae a better toast." muttered Harris under his breath.
Davie rubbed his eyes. "Well, it does serve him right for havin' such a daft name."
Harris shrugged. "Ach, he comes from way out. Riordans are an old Easter House family, if I remember correctly. Isn't that right, Wilson?"
"Harris, you should know by know I don't give a flying fuck about geneology."
"Well, I was only saying..." Harris moved the subject back to a comfortable one for all three.
"Gave us a fright at the start."
"Aye, although the scare's to be expected, right Davie?"
"As regular as clockwork, making a minor piss-up that costs us a match. Happens to the best of Weegie sides. Happened to the WCX side, even."
Wilson took another draught of another beer laid out on the table and grimaced. "Aye, well, people tend to forget that the WCX side never won a match in the first round o' the finals, no matter how well they did in the early stages."
Davie was forced to concede. "Aye. Aye. Hand tae the heart, that was the case. Still the best we've done."
"It was a classic, though. Fumble of Sartré levels."
Harris nodded knowledgably. "Ah, well, I wouldn't go that far. I've heard stories about Sartre and his legendary cock-ups from my grand-da."
"It wiz, I'm telling ye. I mean, Marshall had it in his hauns, then just dropped it. With that flash Anteaus bugger right there! Made us pay."
"That's the kind of thing that makes us lose confidence and get a draw when we should have got a win."
"Aye, Davie, right on, there." Wilson stared at the bottom of his glass.
"Nice comeback from Yaterly. I wouldn't have thought he had it in him, after the injury problems he's had at the Trams. Long time in after a few Riordan chances went spent... like I said, the Antaeus goalkeeper could pull a few."
Harris interjected sagely. "Davie, Davie, Yaterly was in the right place at the right time. Riordan made that goal, with that feint round the defender and all, and then the wee pass."
"Aye, Dave, Yaterly couldn't have been in a more fortunate place if he'd been asked to organise a piss-up and found himself in the Distillery."
Dave snorted. "Aye, well, good win, let's hope Riordan recovers. What, next game in a wee while?"
"Just a wee knock. He'll be fine. Fine."
"I hope. Wee speedy guy like that, that kind of stuff can take it out of you."
"Next Smith?"
"We'll see."
Praying2God
14-01-2005, 23:54
UPSET SPECIAL

GROUP THREE
Jeruselem (27) 0, Praying2God (118) 1
For a team returning to the international stage after a long layoff, beating a highly-ranked team is a bit of a surprise even though Jeruselem has a history of underachieving. This one is one of the biggest surprises, but whether it is THE biggest is up for debate.

You neglected to mention that the match was in Jerusalem, which makes the upset all the more stunning. :cool:

GROUP SEVEN
Kylaai (41) 0, Talzeckia (150) 1
The biggest shocker of the first match day finds a team on the verge of being one of the world's better sides getting humbled at home by a team that never played an international game until last night. The Tides become the only unranked team to win in an absolute shocker of a result.

However, I am hard pressed to aruge against this being the biggest upset of day 1. :eek:
South Osettia
15-01-2005, 00:07
Evening came quickly, and an air of excitement descended on the department. This was going to be our first ever World Cup match, and it was going to be a baptism of fire against fourteenth seeds Iansisle. Having taken on board the words of the new intelligence reporter, Darrin Burnison, coach of the team, had selected the exact same squad and chosen the exact same tactics as she had suggested and, surprisingly enough, I was feeling slightly confident – only slightly, but that was a lot more than usual.

Cary had organized a party for us, and as people were mingling, I stood on the edges with a plastic cup of cola, like one of those rejects at the school dance. Someone looked like they were coming over to me, and as I looked at her, I realised it was Moira Jackson, another woman from my BoF past.

“Hey, Moira!”

“Hey Emmett, I mean, sir.”

“We’re after hours, Moira. I’m not wearing my work face now. Call me Emmett.”

“Okay. Hi…Emmett. How are you nowadays?”

“Good. I’m…fine…(cough). You still in charge of the holoscreen?”

“Yeah, that’s still me.” The holoscreen was our portal to the World Cup. It gave us all kinds of information about results and tables. Tonight, we were waiting for a result from Iansisle.

“Did you finally get around to changing that tune?”

“Well…”

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’ then, shall I?”

“That might be best, yeah.” The curtains drew back, and out of the murky blackness, words started to appear:

Latest World Cup Score

Iansisle 2
South Osettia 2

“Excellent!” Moira turned to me, a frown upon her face.

“That wasn’t your usual reaction. You usually start running around the room screaming whilst simultaneously trying to take off all your clothes.”

“I’ve grown up since then.”

“It was only a few months ago.”

“I age quickly.”

“You really have changed haven’t you? I remember your first day here. I think you were sick, although it’s hard to distinguish between the first day you did that and the next day, and the next day, and the - ”

“Yes, I get the picture now.”

“It’s funny – I’ve been here for five years and not gotten a single promotion. You’ve been here three months and you’ve already tripled your original pay. Life’s a bitch, ain’t it?”

“Moira, I couldn’t agree more.”

“Well, see you around…Emmett.” As she walked away, she turned back and blew me a kiss, before disappearing in the crowd. My first thought: did that really just happen? Was she coming on to me? Or was I just being a little perverted? I imagine it was probably the latter.

***

Day two of the campaign, and word was spreading that our next match was against Crystilakere, the third seeds in the tournament. I was gearing up for another meeting with my mysterious intelligence reporter when Polly handed me a note.

“Oh, I forgot. This was on the floor when I came in. It’s addressed to you.” I opened it and read. The message was short and succinct.

GO TO THE MEN’S BATHROOM. DON’T TALK TO ANYBODY.

I got up and left the office without saying a word to Polly.

“Well a ‘thank you’ would’ve been nice,” she shouted after me. I thought I heard her say ‘men!’ as well, but by that time I’d lost all interest. Who was sending me on this little quest? When I got to the men’s bathroom, I saw another note addressed to me that had been pinned on the door.

LOOK UNDER THE SECOND SINK TO THE LEFT.

I entered the bathroom and did as I had been told. Sure enough, there was another note taped underneath it. I peeled it off and read it aloud.

“Now go back to your office. Have you guessed who I am yet?” I had an inkling, and hoped that I was badly wrong. I wasn’t.

“Emmett! Congratulations – you’ve passed test three.” I got a bear hug from Cary and a kiss on the cheek from Polly, who was obviously enjoying this game.

“What was this one testing for?”

“To see if you can still follow instructions, and it seems that the power hasn’t gone to your head, which is good. Well done! I’ll go and prepare test four for tomorrow.”

“Is there much preparation necessary?”

“You’ll see…” And with that he was gone, and I was left wondering how many of these damn tests there were going to be. I turned to Polly.

“Do you have to encourage him?”

“What?”

“You know, half of this is probably your fault, and if it weren’t for the fact that I have a visitor any minute now, I would severely reprimand you.”

“By ‘visitor’, you wouldn’t happen to mean Moni, would you?”

“Moni?”

“That’s the name of the intelligence reporter, Moni Klug. It’s short for something but I don’t know what.” At that point, Moni came in.

“Hi Moni,” I said before she could start.

“So you found out my name? Maybe you do have a little bit of intelligence then.”

“Ouch.”

“Oh, be quiet. Shall we get started?”

“Of course.” I waited for her to sit before I did, like the gentleman that I am (not that she noticed anyway).

“Okay, the next match is against Crystilakere. They were one of the best teams in the competition four years ago, and it’s still a little too early to tell whether that is still the case. They didn’t win their last game against Eystrck, drawing 0-0 at home, which means one of two things. Either they’re feeling a little downcast, which is something we can capitalize on, or they’re feeling like crushing somebody, which, seeing as they are professionals, is the more likely alternative, Obviously, that’s not the ideal situation for us, so we have to find a way of dealing with it. We several things in our favour for today’s match. First, our last result, the draw with Iansisle, has lifted morale threefold, meaning that the player’s will feel capable of repeating the result today, thus improving their chances. Two, home advantage is with us, and when the crowd gets behind a team in the Ts’khinvali Stadium, we all know what happens. Three, we are massive underdogs here – our teams are separated by seventy places – and so Crystilakere might field a weakened side, although if they saw last night’s result, they might think better of it. Overall, I think another draw is well within our grasp, and if we can get that, then we can safely say that we will do well in this group.”

“Is that all?”

“Yeah…I think that just about covers it.”

“Good…that was great. Thanks a lot, I’ll get that information to the team.”

“Okay, Emmett, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” She got up are started to leave.

“Sir!” She spun round.

“Excuse me?”

“I believe you must address me ‘sir’.” She stared at me as if she couldn’t believe what I was saying for a few seconds (although it seemed like a lifetime). Then she smiled, shook her head, and left. Polly tried to stifle a laugh.

“Polly, you take me seriously, don’t you?”

“Of course I do, Emmett, although it’s a little hard for others when your trousers aren’t done up.”

“What!” I looked and saw that I hadn’t done them up. How much more of an idiot can one be?
Eauz
15-01-2005, 00:21
With the death of Michël Rousoi, the Eauz national team is in shock and confused as to the events. Many are not sure if they should continue in the cup, or if they should ask the Eauz officials to leave the cup for at least this one time. Leaving the cup would have dire consequences on the rank of the team, but any have said that the rank means nothing, when a friend and a co-worker dies. Two days from now, the team will morn the death, and fans can come to visit too. As for Rousoi’s contract with a Vilitan domestic team, it appears they will have to be searching for another keeper. Despite the news though, there has been no response from the Vilitan club as to date.

Eauz officials are expected to continue the qualifying match, but have asked in favour of the players to postpone the next match which is in Lamoni a week later. The demand is expected to be approved by the WCC. As for the game, itself, it will be the first time Eauz travels to this country, as they have no record of it. They seem though to be in the region of Atlantian Oceania, where part of WC19 was held, and Eauz played in that area. Despite being in the region, they never got a map, and thus knew nothing of it. It appears to be a reasonable country though. Looking ahead in the schedule, Les Bleus and their players will have to get their spirit and collect themselves, as they will only have 2 home matches out of the 6 left in the first half. As for the replacement for Rousoi, it appears that André Bedeau will be taking the spot, as he had a reasonable match on the first day, winning 2 – 0.
Nova Britannicus
15-01-2005, 01:36
"His name is Sea-Ford,
He plays for Ta-beck,
We'll go the the World-Cup by the-Bekk!"

That was the rather non-muscial chant sung by the majority of Nova Britannican fans as they rocked the Montepool Waves' stadium in a nailbiting opener to the World Cup 20 Qualifiers, when Royal Seaford's strike sealed a One-Nil win for the Navy-Blues.

Up in, appropropriately enough, the Royal Box, there was something quite different going on...



Charles 'Charlie' Worsley stepped into the most prestigious suite of the Montepool Waves stadium.

"Ah, Mister Worsely, I've been expecting you."

"Allo, Sir," Charlie replied, scanning the room. Outside the huge, tinted windows, the Nova Britannican crowd were still going nuts over the goal.

"You're going to do a little job for us, Charlie," the man, quite dramatically standing in the shadows said, "the Navy-Blues need to make it to another World Cup."

"They look to be doing alright so far, Sir."

"Come now, Charles, this is only Sybex. In eight years' time they might just be where we are now, but against the higher-class of opposition, the Navy-BLues will be struggling without... an edge."

"Like the Sinijiil?" Charlie answered at once. He had been informed of how Nova Britannicus had managed to qualify for the Turori/Belmore Family World Cup. Though he certainly didn't believe in all this psycho-babble and religious nonsense.

"Exactly like the symbol, yes," it seemed even this shadowy figure was unable to mention the name of the Rejistanian Symbol of Power, for fear of bringing the wrath of Taderekansa, "but this time we need something... a little closer to home."

"What do you need me to do?" Charlie asked. "And how much am I getting paid?"

"The rewards are quite equal to the task, Mister Worsely, I assure you."

"But what's the job?" Charlie asked again, getting suspicious.

"Two words, for now, Mister Croker." The figure waited just a suitable amount of time to have some dramatic climactic-music. "Callum. Banda."
Fmjphoenix
15-01-2005, 04:00
Message Sent

To: Rejistania Football Assosiation
From: Football Assosiation of Fmjphoenix
Re: Capture of 3 personel

To Whom It May Concern:

During the halftime of our match today, three personel from your country were apprehanded as they were in a fight with two of our security detailsmen. Upon capturing of them, was when we confirmed that they were from your country, as it was suspected when they were stunned in awe of the Golden Cafetiere. We believe that they were sent from your country in order to steal our Cafetiere. We will not allow this to happen. These three men are going to remain in our custody until further notice, or unless you send us 1 million pounds of ground coffee. We will be in contact again after the team returns from its match with Haperd. Do not attempt to take the Cafetiere as you will fail. Hede this warning. Or suffere concequenses that will be considered 'uber slani'.

FAF Commishoner
Praying2God
15-01-2005, 04:54
John Carlson (JC): We're coming to you live from the House of Prayer in Praying2God, where the Warriors are looking to continue their successful start in WC XX qualifying in their match against Iansisle.

David Tall (DT): This certainly isn't going to be an easy match for the Warriors, John. Iansisle is ranked 14th in the world. If you thought Jerusalem was tough, this match is going to be even tougher.

Lisa Simonson (LS): It certainly will be, and it doesn't get any easier after this match, as for their third match, as the Warriors will travel to play the defending WC Champions Crystilakere.

JC: Let's recap what happened in Group 3 on the opening day of WC qualifying...

LS: What was projected to be a pretty predictable group certainly didn't look that way, as the top two teams, Crystilakere and Iansisle drew against Eystrck and South Osettia respectively. Legalese defeated Nevigrad 4-1, and thus sit on top of the table, with the Warriors in second following their major upset of Jerusalem.

DT: I'd say that Group 3 proved to be unpredictable on day 1 of qualifying, but is today the day that it will return to form? The Warriors hope not.

JC: What do you think that Warriors Head Coach Paul Johnson is looking for today out of his players?

DT: Having a match under their belts, you would think the nerves are gone, especially considering that they pulled out the match in the closing moments. What he's probably looking for is a better counter-attack than he saw in the opener, but not at the expense of the defense. I think Johnson would rather see a 0-0 draw than a loss.

LS: What coach wouldn't rather see a draw than a loss? I believe that Johnson will be looking to solidify the defense that was burned frequently in the opener. Iansisle is not known for dumping bunches of balls into the net, but they'd rather play a tight defensive game and win 1-0, 2-1 sorts of games. Johnson probably realizes he's not going to see much offense today, and would be quite happy to come out of this match with a draw.

JC: Can the Warriors expect to take any points out of the next two matches?

LS: I find it highly unlikely. Iansisle and Crystilakere are just too good to fall prey to the same trap that Jerusalem did.

DT: If they play tight defense and can limit the opposition's scoring chances, then it would not be a total shock to see the Warriors earn at least one point in their next two matches. However, it will be very tough for the young Warriors defense to play really tight defense against two very well disciplined opponents.

JC: You seem to be making the point that the Warriors are a young team, and are highly likely to make lots of mistakes.

DT: That's right, John.

JC: Any predictions for today's match?

LS: The Warriors can't possibly get as lucky as they did against Jerusalem. Plus, Iansisle has now shaken off what cobwebs they might have had. Iansisle 3-1.

DT: The Warriors proved they can play good defense in their upset of Jerusalem. However, the offense is a big concern. They didn't get a good chance to score with a keeper in the net in the opener, so their offense is an unknown entity yet. Iansisle 2-0.

JC: I'm convinced that the Warriors defense, anchored by keeper Sarah Walker will come up big again. The Warriors offense couldn't have looked much worse than it did in the opener, either. Warriors 1-0.

LS: Somebody sounds a little optimistic...

JC: Somebody needs to be on this crew. We'll be back after these messages for the opening kick-off...
Melmond
15-01-2005, 04:58
State of Football in Melmond
This Time is For Felix
By Henry Kalangalangalang of the Melmond City Herald for the NationStates Football World

Normally, we would start these state of football in Melmond articles with a review of how the Melmond National Team performed last time around. However, you know how the cliché goes; you do not know where you are unless you have known where you’ve been. One of the pioneers of Melmond football, Felix Coostatlwak, died at the age of 98 from what is reported to be natural causes. Coostatlwak was basically the Melmondian representative in the football world well before football was even a second-tier sport in Melmond, playing overseas while Melmond didn’t even have semi-pro leagues. He later became a manager in many overseas markets until being called upon the ripe age of 70 to manage the first ever Melmond National Team. After a promising start, taking a group of inexperienced yet talented players to sixth place finish is a rather tough qualifying group; the Melmond National Team seemed to under perform the last two team Coostatlwak managed with some heartbreaking results, especially during World Cup 15 qualifying where Melmond collapsed during the last couple of matches. Either way, football may have never even got off the ground in Melmond if it weren’t for the tireless efforts of Coostatlwak overseas and his efforts to get a national team going. He got to see one of the national team players he managed, David Bixler, manage the national team to a third place finish in its first ever World Cup, thus cementing a place for the Melmond National Team in NationStates footballing history. That must have been a very proud moment for Mr. Coostatlwak. He will be missed very much, but his memory and impact will forever be felt in the play of the Melmond National Team and the hearts of the people of Melmond.
We would also like to extend our condolences to the Eauz National Team as well as Strike FC in Vilita for the passing of goalkeeper Michel Rousoi. We here at the Melmond City Herald as well as the Melmond National Team especially feel that loss because 25 years ago, backup striker Taxt, one of the top goalscorers for Melmond City Blues in the then young Melmond Premier League, ended his own life with a self-inflicted gun shot wound after what is rumoured to be a long struggle with drug addiction. The Melmond National Team announced that in addition to the black armband being worn in honour of Felix Coostatlwak, that a blue armband will be worn in honour of fallen Eauzian Michel Rousoi. In combination, our souls are certainly bruised after hearing of the terrible news.
Anyway, after such somber news, it is rather difficult to focus on the football team, but we do have a job to do, and so do the Fearless Farmers. Also, the team would especially want to play very well in the memory of Felix Coostatlwak. Last time around, the Melmond National Team showed some flashes of brilliance, with wallops away from home of up and coming side Fmjphoenix 6-nil and of the Eagles Nest 5-1. The Fearless Farmers played rather well in the World Cup as well. Unfortunately, they ran into an unexpected buzzsaw of a side in Crystilakere, who went on an unprecedented hot streak. The only team Melmond lost to in the World Cup was the eventual World Cup champions, once in group play and again in the round of 16, both in very close one goal margins. A good moral performance, but overall rather disappointing for the Fearless Farmers.
The domestic league continues its growth and is now considered one of the best in the world as football is slowly about to join baseball, fencing, and battlearena in the top tier of sports in the nation. It expanded to 16 clubs overall with the addition of Sardaburg Silvers and Pappano Coppers and the combination of top foreign talent as well as an ever-growing Melmondian talent pool would have certainly made Felix Coostatlwak proud. Coming soon, the Melmondian clubs will be making their long awaited debut in the revived Champions League.
As for the eighth edition of the Melmond National Team, many pundits are saying that this will be a rather awkward side compared the successful ones Manager David Bixler has led in the past. First of all, they do not have the rock at goalkeeper anymore as all-world goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm has retired from football proper. Goalkeeper is now a questionable position for the Fearless Farmers as the unproven Alex McCarthy has been named the starter. The move surprised many people as many people project the backup in the last two World Cups, Fgtgt, to get the starting job, but in the one season he played in the Melmond Premier League, the heralded McCarthy played well despite little help from his inexperienced Unne Yellows teammates. The backline will also have a different feel than what David Bixler is usually used to. This time the side will be less physical and will use more finesse in their play as the physical defender Trav Strachan has retired from the national team and the young upstart Laola Saenu will start in his place. Saenu and Notint Hecloset will lead the finesse portion of the defence. In terms of physicality, Charles Unne will be expected to be more physical than ever and Veronica Dean is still very ferocious. There will be very little question marks in terms of the midfield and strikers, as all have proven to be very good players. For a change this time around, the Fearless Farmers are expected to make their mark using offence. Hopefully, the Melmond National Team could make a bigger mark in the footballing world with a World Cup of their own.
Bedistan
15-01-2005, 05:14
The Angry Otter pub, 5th Street, San Solari, Silverbrook

"Well, any news from the Capitol Building?"

"Nay, George. Haven't heard a peep out of the president in...about four weeks, I believe."

"Y'know, Reginald, I heard that those blokes down in Bedistan are planning to take over the government if the government doesn't go into session soon. Something about preventing anarchy or somesuch."

"Preventing anarchy, my arse. They're just looking for a way to get even more land than they've already got. They're worse imperalists than those bloody Lontoricans to the west."

"Poppycock. I assure you, the United States of Silverbrook are just as strong and unified as ever, and there is absolutely no way the government is going to fall. Mark my words."

"Aye, quiet, Gordon, some guy on the news is talking."

"...have declared the Silverbrookian government to be permanently absent and have assumed control of all of Silverbrook in an effort to keep the peace and prevent the United States from falling into complete chaos. In addition, Silverbrook's colony, Karacos, has been divided in half, with the northern portion under Bedistani administration as well, while Imminent Implosion has been given charge of the southern half. We'll bring you more information tonight at 17:00, but for now simply let it be known that we now live under the flag of the Grand Dominion of Bedistan."

"Blimey, it was true after all."

"Eh. Somehow I really doubt the government change will even affect us in the slightest."

"Well, we'll finally get some decent football up here. Sport was one thing the Silverbrookian government never really cared a whole lot about. Hell, we never even had a national team!"

"Well, we don't really have one now, either. Surely the Green-Blue Futility Lions or whatever-the-hell they're called don't count. They couldn't even beat Qia, for Pete's sake!"

"Qia? What the hell is Qia?"

"Don't they, like, make cars or something? Didn't think they were a whole bloomin' nation, though."

"No, no, no, Qia with a Q. Yeah, they're a nation, and they've got a football team of sorts, ranked seventy-something in the world. And of course Bedistan can't beat 'em. The team's always been shit, really, even though they did have a fair amount of luck for a few decades."

"So who're they playing next?"

"Um...some place starting with an N. Ninurta, I think it's called."

"Aye, that's it, Ninurta. Should be an easy match for a team o' Bedistan's caliber."

"Yeah, an easy match to lose. Fifty...uh...of whatever currency it is we now use says they don't qualify."

"I'll see that bet. Watch us go 13-1-0, ya git."

"Psh! You've had a few too many tonight, methinks. You'd best be headin' on back home."

"You'll be the one heading home -- with ya tail between ya legs!"
Liverpool England
15-01-2005, 06:09
Philosophers Win Big
5-0 win marred by bizarre off-the-pitch incidents

The Liverpool England national team has won the first game of the World Cup 20 Qualifying campaign with a 5-goal margin, the widest recorded after all the groups finished Day 1 of qualifying play.

The match, however, was marred by a few bizarre incidents off the pitch at Waterway Stadium, which resulted in 400 arrests, including 320 Ratvipan fans. It all started at half-time, when, trailing 3-0, the Ratvipan fans decided to take things into their own hands and a hundred of them stormed onto the pitch trying to get into the dugout. Stadium security rushed onto the pitch, but were unable to prevent fifteen fans from entering the dressing room, causing chaos. Forty Ratvipan fans were detained by security and arrested by Lox Land Police. The fifteen fans are said to have taken over the dressing room and stripped the team down, playing the second half while the team were left dazed in the dressing room.

On 60 minutes, when it was still 3-0, remarkably, the Ratvipan first team trooped onto the pitch, thinking it was time to restart the game, in only their team jackets and shorts. The referee stopped play, and stadium security arrested the fifteen Ratvipan fans on the pitch. The team were ordered back into the changing room to change, and re-start the match with a Liverpool England goal-kick - which found its way, somehow, into the back on the net with a lucky header off Timothy Dennard, who had come on as a 55th minute sub.

It wasn't over, though - a fracas broke out among the fans in the stadium and 35 arrests were made - 20 of them Liverpool England fans, one of whom has been barred from attending football games for the next 30 months. Sixty arrests were further made over the course of the remaining half hour, and when a second pitch invasion took place with the score at 5-0 with three minutes of normal time left to play, the referee called the game off and awarded the tie to Liverpool England. Stadium security and Lox Land Police made at least a hundred and fifty more arrest in connection with the overall chaos in the stadium. Of the 400 arrests, 314 people have been freed and 12 are still detained. 32 have been charged, and three have been convicted of football-related hooliganism. The FALE have apologised to the World Cup organisers, and the Ratvipan government has been asked for help in dealing with 14 Ratvipans still detained or being questioned.
Liverpool England
15-01-2005, 06:32
Liverpool England, Hiiraan agree to venue switch
Matches to be played on neutral ground

Reports are filtering in that the Football Association of Liverpool England and the Hiiraanian FA have agreed to switch their Matchday 4 and 11 games to a neutral venue due to security concerns.

Paul Dussis, who had sent a letter to the Hiiraanian FA, expressed is delight that the Hiiraanian FA had agreed to co-operate, and leaked to the press that the match would be held in a non-Group 9 nation.

"I've received a few letters today, and this has me mighty pleased. The Hiiraanians have agreed that there is a potential security threat to the players and travelling fans, and have thus allowed us to move the Matchday 4 game, originally scheduled to be played in Hiiraan, and the Matchday 11 game, originally scheduled to be played at Grovers Park, to a neutral venue. I've had a correspondence from a non-Group 9 nation's FA, and as of right now that may be the best offer. Potentially, it's gonna be a 67 thousand all-seater."

FALE confirm two matches to be held in Kaze Progressa
67,000 all-seater offered

"I'm glad to say that a 67 thousand all-seater stadium on Crivoska Island in Kaze Progressa has been offered to us to help host the matches on Matchday 4, and Matchday 11, against Hiiraan. There was an issue about security had the matches gone ahead in their original venues, but we are glad that these have been resolved," Paul Dussis told the press. "We'll be looking forward to two great, and hopefully exciting, encounters with the Hiiraanians."

MD01: Ratvipa (H) Waterway Stadium, Schimpol Final Score: 5-0
MD02: Antaeus Rising (A)
MD03: Kingsford (H) IDEXO Stadium, CCL
MD04: Hiiraan (N) Island Arena, Crivoska, Kaze Progressa
MD05: The Weegies (H) Grovers Park, Orean
MD06: Squornshelous (H) National stadium, CCL
MD07: The Eagles Nest (A)
MD08: Ratvipa (A)
MD09: Antaeus Rising (H) Waterway Stadium, Schimpol
MD10: Kingsford (A)
MD11: Hiiraan (N) Island Arena, Crivoska, Kaze Progressa
MD12: The Weegies (A)
MD13: Squornshelous (A)
MD14: The Eagles Nest (H) National Stadium, CCL

MATCHDAY 2 PREVIEW

ANTAEUS RISING (Match played in Antaeus Rising)

Coach Syku Lyku is expected to test his youngsters in this away match at Antaeus Rising, who were once ranked as high as 78th - almost half of what they're currently ranked. Not much is known about them as his is their first foray back into the World Cup since World Cup 16, incidentally the only time Liverpool England failed to qualify due to a boycott of matches.

Potential Liverpool England dangermen: Kevin Hargrove and Jacob Walczak

Hargrove, 18, and Walczak, 21, are due to start, and could well be the key men for the Philosophers in this game as they attempt to record a second consecutive win. Also, be on the lookout for 23-year-old third choice goalkeeper Chris Bush, who will get a start as the team look to keep a second consecutive clean sheet.
Melmond
15-01-2005, 06:39
Melmond Draws Group 4: Reaction
By Zuke O’Kenzie of the O’Connor Times

It seems like whenever the Melmond National Team rises in ranking to the point where they are in the first pot, they get drawn with some very dull opponent. Case in point World Cup 18 qualifying. Two of the boring sides from that group have returned to haunt the Fearless Farmers once again along with some nobodies and The Belmore Family. Let us look at these opponents.

Rank wise, the biggest competitor to the Fearless Farmers is the very familiar side of EL CID THE HERO. This is a side in which Melmond has played at least five times, with Melmond barely having the upper hand in this rivalry. They will be fierce competitors.

The Belmore Family should be a very fun side to play against. Melmond hasn’t had any success against this side, losing to them twice in two different Cups of Harmony. After getting the right to host the World Cup, The Belmore Family looks to be a team on the rise again.

After a steady rise up, the side from Raptor Claw seems to be heading on its way down back to mediocrity. The fact that there aren’t many strong contenders below them may keep them in the qualifying race.

Slaikau seems like a side that is just happy to have a team and is pleased with mediocrity. Melmond has one win and one tie against this side. They should do nothing special.

Nonesuch Street really has nonesuch chance to qualify for the World Cup in our opinion.

Pedriana may very well be the most evil nation next to The Evil Umpire. They may have giant evil spiders, but having so many legs makes playing football unwieldy. They shouldn’t do too well.

Harlesburg was supposed to pull out their side to make room for a nation on the waiting list, but the notice was not taken and they take a lame duck side with a million to one chance at qualifying.

The Prediction
1. Melmond
2. EL CID THE HERO
3. The Belmore Family
4. Raptor Claw
5. Slaikau
6. Pedriana
7. Nonesuch Street
8. Harlesburg

Melmond National Team Schedule

v Slaikau (Makinshakes Stadium, O’Connor)
@ Nonesuch Street
v Pedriana (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne)
@ Harlesburg
v EL CID THE HERO (Microcosm Football Colossuseum, Aldi)
@ Raptor Claw
v The Belmore Family (Melmond Bowl, Melmond City)
@ Slaikau
v Nonesuch Street (Anachronism Park, Cali)
@ Pedriana
v Harlesburg (White Bread Dome, Suburbia)
@ EL CID THE HERO
v Raptor Claw (Frankdottir Stadium, Acosta)
@ The Belmore Family

Next Game
vs. Slaikau (Makinshakes Stadium, O’Connor)

This seems like a gimmie of a match, a heralded Fearless Farmers side playing against a perpetually mediocre side from Slaikau. However, as they enter the qualifying rounds, Melmond better make sure they don’t walk in Makinshakes Stadium overconfident. Even the legendary World Cup 17 side stumbled at home against these guys with a tie. This version of the Fearless Farmers should get a feel for each other and should play very well if they come into the match with the right attitude. Here is Manager David Bixler’s starting lineup for this match.

GK- Alex McCarthy
D- Notint Hecloset
D- Veronica Dean
D- Charles Unne
D- Laola Saenu
M- Peeko Noodleschlausen
M- Martin Goodwin Jr.
M- Pauline Hulme
M- Jake Cormier
F- Gene MacDougall
F- Tim Remans

Makinshakes Stadium
Location: O'Connor, Melmond
Seats: 60,217 (Open Air)

The city of O’Connor is Melmond’s fourth largest city. It is the big city hub which is smack dab in the middle of the Melmondian fertile plain. O’Connor is also the heart of the largest industry in Melmond, the book publishing industry. However, it was Melmondian fast food giant Makinshakes who bought the naming rights of this new football-specific stadium. It is a very versatile stadium which can host things from hockey games or a regional favorite like American football. Football is its number one client however as O’Connor Greens of the Melmond Premier League calls the stadium home. This stadium doesn’t have some of the fancy amenities new stadiums like Melmond Bowl and Microcosm Football Colossuseum have, all it has in technology is a jumbotron, but it has a blue-collar beauty to it that the people of O’Connor love to call their own. Of course, having Makinshakes being the sponsor of the stadium, expect good food at the concession stands as well as the famous sandwich of O’Connor, the Big O. It is also said that the city of O’Connor has one of the most beautiful skies In Melmond. Still some tickets available!
Commerce Heights
15-01-2005, 06:53
Commerce Heights will trudge undeservingly through to the finals in 3rd.
OOC: ...

IC:
The Aeropag Tribune—bringing you the finest journalism in Terranordalis since you managed to afford it and until we take all of your money

CHFF Makes Unofficial Libel Claim Against Vilitan Organization(s)
Academic fools attempt to sort out “ethics”

YU–PO, NN—An unidentified operative of the N00b Insurgent Department (NID) intercepted a message from the Commerce Heights Football/Soccer Federation (CHFF) to various organizations—one of which is believed to be the Vilitan international soccer organization—threatening legal action due to a statement in a recent Vilitan publication claimed to be libelous. The message threatens legal action against the responsible organization unless a §50 million fine is paid. It warns that “the average settlement in similar cases is nearly §60 million,” and that “additional compensation for the connection between this incident and the recent loss of the Commerce Heights Capitalizts could total up to §200 million.” Although most intelligent lawyers question the provided figures, the loudest objection to the incident comes from the not-so-smart variety of lawyers, who claim that offering a way out of litigation is “unethical.” When asked how ethics were related to the legal system, former lawyer Richard Troutman claimed that “justice is more important than money” before going into hiding to avoid capture by the NID and Capitalizt Defense Alliance (CDA).
Royal Engrand
15-01-2005, 07:12
Ron Don Times
The First Newspaper of Royal Engrand

Royal Engrand Pulls Out Group 7
In the group where Royal Engrand being to be pushed because the lion of Bootleg in this group does their first time eagerly in sign somewhat is hard, is deep it becomes draw. This group the strong side and designates the opposite person and many where promising upstarts 1 knows sufficiently well as the feature. Us permit the fact that quick look is taken with our opposite people.

Kaze Progressa is the taste of this group. Very competent side. Royal Engrand is ecstasy in order to tie these people.

Svecia is being very competent historically, the skillful side and. If Royal Engrand can obtain the point from this side and there is a satisfaction very.

As for Adam Island the Bootleg Lions which is reversed can do thing, but as for us the last World Cup. It is possible to be the side which the first time of it allotted to the person of most love and does not meet.

Because Kylaai to confusion those in directly in decoration for the World Cup cannot utilize the Cup of Harmony all successes, the side which very is easy to be hurt and is.

The former times, Sliponia was in the World Cup. However, those to fall off from vision, it reappeared with only decoration of the World Cup before. This time those should be better a little.

GT-R knows sufficiently well as for the opposite person who those true competition and Royal Engrand. It is the point which can consider first. Does Royal Engrand loses first two assemblies, think vengeance that we want?

In the paper, easy victory, but it is relation even in ranking, the glance of Talzeckia is organized this side very, puts in place fight.

Prediction
1. Kaze Progressa
2. Svecia
3. Adam Island
4. GT-R
5. Sliponia
6. Royal Engrand
7. Kylaai
8. Talzeckia

Royal Engrand National Team Schedule
@ Adam Island
v Svecia (Wimpy Stadium, Ron Don)
@ Kaze Progressa
v Kylaai (Aint Named Park, Nudecastle)
v Talzeckia (Wimpy Stadium, Ron Don)
v GT-R (Wimpy Stadium, Ron Don)
@ Sliponia
v Adam Island (Old Trashord, Womanchester)
@ Svecia
v Kaze Progressa (Wimpy Stadium, Ron Don)
@ Kylaai
@ Talzeckia
@ GT-R
v Sliponia (Old Trashord, Womanchester)

Next Game
at Adam Island

This is very difficult debut for the Bootleg Lions which plays before Adamdome where Adam's island they are very loud vis-a-vis the hard side. The Bootleg Lions tying this side, is happy. As for the manager who begins alignment here certain Svengali Poodlestrudel.

GK Pall Rottenson
D Blaine Suspension
D River Franz
D Jon Kerry
D Pat U. Downson
M Davis Beckbacon
M Dicky Arse
M Cowen Hardgraves
M Jordache Jeans
F Yermain Enemy
F Mikel Blowen
Iansisle
15-01-2005, 10:45
Before the Game

“Of course we take South Osettia seriously! Every game of qualifying is perfectly important, even against some bizarre flower! The fact that I’m benching the stating eleven has nothing to do with hubris!

“Besides, you know we’ll just go out there and knock ‘em around by sneezing, right?”

After the Game

“Well, maybe South Osettia wasn’t quite the pushovers we thought...that’s no matter though... really. Jerusalem lost and Cryst....Crystil...Crystilli....well, that other good team tied as well. Besides, who cares if Praying2God and Legalese won? I’m pretty sure they’re third-world countries, anyway...we’ll probably knock ‘em around just by sneezing!”
Fmjphoenix
15-01-2005, 12:04
Vikings only people sleeping in Fmjphoenix as insomnia skyrockets

Insomnia has become a bad problem in Fmjphoenix the past few days as many things have been worrying citizens of Fmjphoenix. Multiple problems have been cited as the problems, with finding out that their girlfriend/spouse/lover is cheating on them being one of the top reasons, it only seems that the Vikings are the only people sleeping in Fmjphoenix. Seeing as they have a match against Haperd coming up, it is a good reason for why they are able to sleep. Speaking of the match with Haperd, they have already had on successful match against Haperd in the Cup of Harmony XI to the tune of 1-0. The Vikings are hoping to at least duplicate the previous match, if not perform better. A lot of people have lost sleep over what happened during the break of the previous match with the three Rejistania personel who were caught trying to take the Golden Cafetiere because the Golden Cafetiere represents the all important coffee that the nations consumes more than anything else. Some specialists have come to the presumption that all the cafienee ingested from all the coffee is also part of the problem with the insomnia, but tests and surveys are still inconclusive.
Total n Utter Insanity
15-01-2005, 12:11
Coach Syku Lyku is expected to test his youngsters in this away match at Antaeus Rising, who were once ranked as high as 78th - almost half of what they're currently ranked.

OOC: I believe the highest they were ranked was something like 14th. I'm not RPing with them to test how a non-RPing n00b does.

IC:
Insanician 1: You know what we need.

Insanician 2: A new RPing style?

Insanician 1: Well yeah, but also some good ideas.

Insanician 2: Well at least we beat Haperd 3-0.

Insanician 1 and 2 join the conga.

Conga: Haperd are shit-ah! Haperd are shit-ah! Haperd are shit-ah!
Starblaydia
15-01-2005, 13:16
The Formation

"First of all, we must figure out a style of play. One that is, in essence, Starblaydia's best formation, which we then put our greatest players into."

"This category was by far the easiest decision anyone has ever had to make. Over ninety-percent of the voters picked this one and its no secret as to how good this has been for us, so the All-Time Starblaydia Eleven will play: The Four-Four-Two Diamond.


1

5 6
2 3

4
7 11
8

10 9


"Only in World Cup 18 did Starblaydia play anything other than this formation, and that was only because we had so many classy midfielders that we packed them into a 3-5-2. The 4-4-2 is solid defensively and has many oppurtunities for attack. There is no other formation we could really have considered for the All-Time team.

"Every great player has played in one of these for Starblaydia, so there is no attempt to fill in a position with the wrong type of player for the sake of his reputation. Nobody is on the wrong side, or too far forward or back. Every player chosen fits neatly into the Starblaydi style of play.

"And next, we fill the Number-One shirt..."


Matchday 2 Scores and Tables are Now Available Here. (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7949155&postcount=3)
Jeruselem
15-01-2005, 13:49
Jeruselem Government News

Normal service for World Cup Group 3

World Cup XX results are in and this time no shocks. The unusual suspects won their games but the dark horses decided a scoreless truce.

Jeruselem beat Nevigrad 1-0 with a Barack Shabmaran goal in a less than inspiring win. However, a win is a win anyway it comes. While Nevigrad result was encouraging, Jeruselem's world cup starts are either slow or fast. The good news is it is not conceding too many goals while the strikers really need to get their act together.

Crystilakere and Iansisle won their games more easily with Praying2God finding God on holidays with a 4-0 loss to Iansisle. Eystrck and Legalese really entertained (not) with scoreless draw but it's hard to say what their real form is like from the game.

Group 3
Eystrck [0] Legalese [0]
South Osettia [1] Crystilakere [3]
Praying2God [0] Iansisle [4]
Nevigrad [0] Jeruselem [1]
The Eagles Nest
15-01-2005, 15:50
TEN Wins Against Kingsford; Dismal Tie Against Hiiraan

Upsets Abound in Group 9

After Secour scored 2 late to give the Nest a good start over Kingsford, the team then went to Hiiraan and was stunned by only coming away with a point, allowing a late goal to equalize the game at 1.

The late goal occured while the Nest was playing a man down, as they had made their three subs when a Hiiraanian forward, fighting to get the ball back, took out veteran defender Leonard Holst with a terrible tackle, that while the referee was looking directly at the travesty, did nothing, and actually motioned for Holst to quit writhing and get up, until the blood where his leg bone had actually pierced his shin began to be evident. No card was given either. The TENFA FA will be investigating this issue and has called for the Belmorian referee to be banned from Group 9 play.

The day was interesting, as many teams gained points that in all likelyhood really shouldn't have. and three teams that gained losses last match all won. In fact, the tie was enough to vault the Strike Birds into first place alone for the time being. Needless to say, the day was qute interesting as the scores trickled in throughout the day. It is widely expected that grumbling from some fan bases may start up soon based on certain teams poor showing in the cup so far.

The Nest will go home to play Ratvipa, and will be looking for a replacement for Holst as it appears his career has a Strike Bird is sadly over a little sooner than he expected.




Group 9 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
The Eagles Nest 2 1 1 0 3 2 4 +1
Liverpool England 2 1 0 1 6 2 3 +4
Squornshelous 2 1 0 1 4 2 3 +2
Antaeus Rising 2 1 0 1 3 3 3 0
Kingsford 2 1 0 1 2 2 3 0
The Weegies 2 1 0 1 2 2 3 0
Ratvipa 2 1 0 1 1 5 3 -4
Hiiraan 2 0 1 1 2 5 1 -3
One Red Dot
15-01-2005, 15:54
To: Alvin Ker (President) <a_ker@asword.gov.rd>
From: Chris Gwee (WC Head Coach/Chisai'nihon FC) <cgwee@cnfc.org.rd>
Subject: Matchdays 1 and 2 Scores
Sent: 15 January 2245h GMT

It has been a very successful start to WC20 with two wins so far.

On MD1, we were against Giant Zucchini at the Royal Red Dot National Stadium. Probably they are not up to it anymore as we defeated them 3-1. Mikey Wrenning shot a quick one at the 10th minute while GZ later shot equalised at the 36th minute. Louis Harrison gave us the lead again at the 62nd minute while Mike increased the lead again at the 80th minute.

MD2 was an easy win for us in East Lithuania where we defeated them 2-0. Kane Turensor scored both goals in that match on the 29th and 72nd minute.

We're up against San Verdi next at the Gweridijong City Stadium. Looks like it might be another easy match? At the moment we are second on the tables, losing out to Audioslavia only on GD by 1.
Five Civilized Nations
15-01-2005, 16:31
Five Civilized Nations Loses to Sixth Seed Vilita

As expected, the 80th seed Five Civilized Nations lost in game two to the Baptism of Fire co-host, the number six seeded Vilita. Facing against a top-ten seeded team, the chances that the Five Civilized Nations would win were slim indeed.

However, this did not preclude the Five Civilized Nations from battling hard. Faced against a powerful defensive and offensive team led by Vilitan Captain, Santo Kecker, the relatively inexperienced National Team led by Ma Xiong performed its best under extreme pressure.

From the start, it was clear that Vilita possessed the better team and that the inexperience of the National Team would prove to be its downfall. As the match continued, the exuberance created by the National Team's victory over Lovisa swiftly diminished, replaced by the grim will not to lose face and play the best football that they could.

But it was clear that the National Team could not prevail. A coordination error by goalie, Li Xiang, and the defenders, premitted Vilitan forward, Lorenzo Mumamba, to score a goal through a corner kick in the 15th minute. Eight minutes later, another goal was scored, as Vilitan forward, Jim Vella, evaded the attempts by Li Xiang to block the football.

When the half ended, the entire team was exhausted...

In the second half, Li Xiang was replaced by Zhong Da as goalie, alongside the substitution of Huo Jun for Zhong Jin. In the 79th minute, a beautiful pass by Huo Jun to Yu Yan resulted in the only National goal.

Match Scorecard

5CN Yu Yan (79)
Vilita Lorenzo Mumamba (15)
Jim Vella (23)
South Osettia
15-01-2005, 19:41
"Do you think I should get my hair done?"

"What?" I'd been busy flicking paper pellets at my computer screen when I was interrupted by Polly.

"My hair. It's getting a bit boring, don't you think?"

"Er...yeah, whatever."

"Are you saying my hair is boring?"

"What? No!"

"I think you just did."

"I was just answering your question. What would you have said if I'd said no?"

"I'd have said you were lying."

"Exactly. Look Polly, as fascinating as this conversation is, I've gotta be somewhere."

"Are you going to the holoscreen room?"

"No."

"Can I come with you?"

"I just said no!"

"You're lying."

"How did you know?"

"See." I got out of there before she made me look any more stupid.

The holoscreen was room was, as usual, already crowded. I forced my way to the front - people had no respect for me, even though I was their boss - and got there just as that now familiar tune struck up.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!

Latest World Cup Score

South Osettia 1
Crystilakere 3

"BOO!" It seemed that not many people were too enthused with the scoreline. I was remarkably calm. It was, after all, only our first defeat ever in full squad history, and it wasn't as if we were expected to qualify. When I tried to tell people this, I was hit with a barrage of rolled up paper balls. This reminded me of a skiing holiday I once went on. I started off on the small slope, and did pretty well on that, but the I accidentally wen ton the steep slope, and ended up in a week-long coma. Could our campaign be going the same way. I hoped not, but knew that should it accidentally switch slopes, it would be very difficult to control...
Praying2God
15-01-2005, 19:49
John Carlson (JC): We're here at the House of Prayer to wrap-up today's match between Praying2God and Iansisle. What went wrong for the Warriors today?

Lisa Simonson (LS): I think the better question is "Did anything go right for the Warriors today?" Nothing seemed to go well for the Warriors today, John.

David Tall (DT): I think that Head Coach Paul Johnson's worst fears were realized; his team looked better offensively, but it came at the expense of their defense. The Warriors were unable to solve the puzzle known as James Goodman, the Iansisle keeper, and they neglected to get back on defense after a couple of their counter-attacks.

JC: What is Johnson telling his players in the locker room right now?

DT: That their offense cannot come at the expense of their defense. They don't have the offensive firepower to hang with the top teams in the world yet, and today was proof of that.

LS: I think the problem is deeper than that, David. They seemed out of sync on both ends of the field today. I think Johnson is in his office figuring out what problems need to be addressed most urgently before their next match at defending WC Champions Crystililakere.

JC: What is the biggest concern for the Warriors heading into the Crystilakere match?

LS: I think it's the confidence they lost in getting blown out by four goals at home, even though it was against one of the best teams in the world.

DT: I disagree, Lisa. They knew coming in that they were going to get beat up by the best teams, so their confidence will be fine. Their biggest problem lies in how inter-connected their offense and defense are. If they can solve that problem, I wouldn't think it'd be out of the question for the Warriors to finish mid-table at the end of qualifying, or at least they'll make some more noise yet.

JC: What do you think Coach Johnson's goals are for the next two matches, against Crystilakere and Legalese, who are on top of table at the moment with Iansisle.

LS: I don't know that Johnson is too worried about the Legalese match, John. I think he's more concerned about the Crystilakere match. The Legalese match is the begining of a three match homestand for the Warriors, and Legalese doesn't strike the type of fear into people's hearts that the first three Warriors opponents do. Of course that would all change if the Warriors pulled off another miracle and upset Crystilakere, but that's highly unlikely. He would probably be very happy if they split those two matches, but he'd likely be satisfied by earning points in at least one of those two matches.

DT: I think that Johnson is just hoping to get his team playing solid soccer going into the weaker part of their schedule, to give themselves a chance to make some noise. Let's be realistic, Crysilakere, Iansisle, and Jerusalem are the qualifiers out of Group 3. If the Warriors can do well against the rest of the group and manage to pull out a couple of points against the top teams, then they could finish mid-table. However, a mid-table finish is something to look for in their next WC, not this one.

JC: That's all the time we have for today, folks. I'm John Carlson, and for David Tall and Lisa Simonson...Good night everybody.
Eauz
15-01-2005, 20:19
In memory to the death of Michël Rousoi, many teams have decided to wear a blue band around their arm for the rest of the qualifying round and cup. Despite disagreements and disputes between the capitalizt nation of Melmond, their officials have publicly announced their sorrow for the recent Eauz keeper. Eauz officials got the match against Lamoni pushed back a week so as to help the players cope with the loss. With the match pushed back, both Eauz and Lamoni got to find out who actually won, and who lost. Arriving at the stadium in Lamoni, Les Bleus saw that it had just recently been built. As they entered the stadium, they found a lot of screaming and shouting from fans, as they were excited to see a once great team of Eauz playing in their stadium. Many fans noted that they would not have believed that they would be getting visits from Rejistania and Eauz in their first world cup. Before the match started, the stadium announcer asked the crowd for a moment of silence in memory of Rousoi. The respectful crowd quickly became quiet.

The match started at an odd time of 09h30 in the morning for some reason, which must have meant that the fans drank a lot of the specialty imported Rejistanian Coffee. One sip keeps you awake for 24 hours. Enough with the cheap advertising, and on with the match report…

Eauz started off with the ball in the first half, and seemed to dominate early. Les Bleus kept the ball in the Lamoni zone for a long period, as the Lamoni keeper was tested. In the first 10 minutes, the keeper proved to be ready for the match, as Eauz shelled out a team record of 20 shots on goal. Obviously, the Lamoni defence was no where to be found. The Lamoni keeper stopped 19 of those 20 shots, as during the 7th minute of play, Vasser sent a shot towards the goal, and Alia was in the right place to head it into the net, putting Eauz up 1 – 0. The Eauz onslaught was lightended up a bit, as Lamoni found itself and its defence and started to regroup. Eauz though was still able to put on some attacks, as Alia snuck through the defence of Lamoni, and put it top shelf at the 20th minute of play, putting Eauz up 2 – 0. Fans started getting frustrated with their team, and boo’s could be heard around the stadium. As the fans had drank a lot of that Rejistanian coffee, they were wired and started to go a bit crazy, as fans tried to get on the field. The police and riot police stopped most fans, with a few getting on the field. After all this finished, the match got back into play. The stadium stopped selling Rejistanian coffee once this mini riot occurred. Eauz was not disturbed by this, as just before recess, Rousseau got a chance at the ball and sent it sailing over the diving Lamoni keeper. This put Eauz up 3 – 0 at recess. At recess, there was a little memorial of Rousoi in the screen, but most fans knew nothing about him, and ignored what it had to say. Also at half time, the stadium closed down all vendor stands, but were stupid enough to show a little commercial for Rejistanian coffee during the break.

The second half started finally, as the players looked up at the time, and it was showing 12h20. The players couldn’t believe that they had been playing for such a long period of time, but forgot to factor in the riots and craziness. The Lamoni players reorganized themselves during the break. Much debated after the game was the situation leading to Lamoni penalty in the 63rd minute. The forward of Lamoni scored the penalty kick knocking the deficit down to 2 goals. Vasser got himself booked at the 67th minute of play, with a hard tackle. Vasser argued the point, but received the yellow despite the effort. Les Bleus would not worry though, as they would finish off the match, at the 76th minute of play, with a great pass and header combination, putting them up 4 – 1. The score would stay at this, giving Les Bleus their second victory of the qualifying round. After the match, the coach thanked the international community for what they have done for the recent Eauz keeper.

With the victory, Les Bleus are still atop their group, but it is early. Eauz will go home for a match against a laughable team of Limp Wristed Fish. This team has lost one and tied a match, and sit in 5th place, but as said earlier, it is early in the qualifying round.


Group 1 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Eauz 2 2 0 0 6 1 6 +5
Rejistania 2 2 0 0 3 0 6 +3
Krytenia 2 1 1 0 3 2 4 +1
Shonar Bangla 2 1 1 0 2 1 4 +1
Limp Wristed Fish 2 0 1 1 2 3 1 -1
Oceaice 2 0 1 1 1 2 0 -1
Lamoni 2 0 0 2 1 5 0 -4
Pterodactyl 2 0 0 2 0 4 0 -4


Match Day 1: Pterodactyl @ Eauz W 0 - 2
Match Day 2: Eauz @ Lamoni W 4 - 1
Match Day 3: Limp Wristed Fish @ Eauz
Match Day 4: Eauz @ Oceaice
Match Day 5: Eauz @ Rejistania
Match Day 6: Eauz @ Shonar Bangla
Match Day 7: Krytenia @ Eauz

Match Day 8: Eauz @ Pterodactyl
Match Day 9: Lamoni @ Eauz
Match Day 10: Eauz @ Limp Wristed Fish
Match Day 11: Oceaice @ Eauz
Match Day 12: Rejistania @ Eauz
Match Day 13: Shonar Bangla @ Eauz
Match Day 14: Eauz @ Krytenia
EL CID THE HERO
15-01-2005, 21:31
EL CID'S SPORT CHANAL

Pedriana Vs EL CID THE HERO highlights

Commentary by Mark Walker

[First half]

MW: the lions as I speak are entering Pedriana’s stadium. Homer Dent, the capatain and veteran of many world cup matches leads them in this bid to triumph in this one. Kan and Trotter are just behind him and look ready to take all 3 points tonight. Pedriana still look a tad rattled from the defeat to The Belmore Family on the opinion match. However they must try to resettle themselves in their first home match.

Doomhammers on the sidelines urging his players on and is getting ready for some football. El Cid have won the toss and will kick off. Kan and Trotter in the centre and the game begins.

(8 min)

MW: …this is a good run by Dent. Through the midfield like a lightning bolt. Found Trotter he’s outside the box. Keeper to beat. He shouts… but it blocked by the woodwork. Goalie picks up the ball and restarts the game. Trotter unfortunate not to do better there. Straight in on goal passed the defence and he hits the bar. Unlucky. Very unlucky .

(17 min)

MV: … soup missed with his tackle and Pedriana advance with the ball. The defence has fallen into collapse. This must be one-nil… The short bean blocked. Dash got her hand to it and it was deflected. If the defence buckles up like that then the lions could be the unlikely victims tonight. However Kim Dash seams on top form and if she keep this up…

(25 min)

MV: …and there’s a good through ball by Brown. Trotter got it. Keepers trying to steal the ball back. Trotter’s got rid of it. Kan used his head. TARAGUMO CAN’T REACH IT..IT’S IN AND AFTER 25 MINUETS AND A FEW CLOSE CALLS ECTH ARE IN FRONT AND KAN SHOULD GET ALL THE HEADLINES IN THE PAPER TOMORROW. The keeper is furious with himself. What a bad position to be in..

[second half]

(48 min)

MV: …Pedriana coming on strong. Defence is just not function at the moment. Hunters out of position theirs a space in the centre. Kim could struggle hear. He lets fly… but Hunter blocks it. Looks like it’s going to be a corner for Pedriana. But it could have be the equaliser.

(56 min)

MV: … and it Pedriana free kick. Tackle by wild deemed to hard by the referee but escaped a booking and is going to be in the wall. Kick it taken and blocked by the wall. Rebounded into the box and to Jereno foot … its passed Kim. IT’S IN… AND WITH KIM DASH AND ALEX WILD DOWNHARTED IT THE PEDRIANA’S FANS THAT ARE SHOUTING THE STADIUM ROOF OFF. 1-1.

(88 min)

MV: …the lions are now clutching at straws. Seeking that chance that will give them 3 points. Trotter 40 yard away from the box. Dent on his left Kan on the right. He’s going for it himself. Well why not …WHY NOT… IT DIPING …. AND IT’S IN AND THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST…. What… no… the reef not given it. And Trotters just amazed how the reef missed that… just what was wrong with is.

(90 min)

MV: and it’s over. The both teams get to share the point but many of the lion’s fans will think they were robed. This controversy won’t go away and this match will live long in the player’s and fan’s minds.


Pedriana [1] (Jereno 56)
EL CID THE HERO [1] (Kan 25)

other matches in group 4
Slaikau [1] Raptor Claw [0]
Nonesuch Street [2] Melmond [0]
Harlesburg [2] The Belmore Family [2]

and the table after all the matches


Group 4 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
EL CID THE HERO 2 1 1 0 3 1 4 +2
The Belmore Family 2 1 1 0 3 2 4 +1
Melmond 2 1 0 1 3 3 3 0
Raptor Claw 2 1 0 1 2 2 3 0
Nonesuch Street 2 1 0 1 2 2 3 0
Slaikau 2 1 0 1 2 3 3 -1
Harlesburg 2 0 1 1 3 4 1 -1
Pedriana 2 0 1 1 1 2 1 -1

OCC: what do you think. newspaper or TV. this took 1and 1/2 Hours
Hiiraan
15-01-2005, 22:09
Hiiraaan Ties TEN, Ratviba Wins against a Super Giant
Next Game: The Weegies

The Hiiraan Team Came Out Roaring Against the Eagles in Hard fought game, however the Game was Tied, In the Process of trying to win the Game, the Eagles have made it a draw, so far, we sit at the Bottom of the table, however we seek to get down to business in our next game against The Weegies, we have No History Against this team but we seek to start our own history with them tomorrow, as Hiiraan Starts to Roar back to life with a Tie, it may seem very, very bad but a win for us will propel us to at least 4th to 2nd place if some of the Giant teams like Liverpool England and TEN tie again.

Yesterday, The Hiiraanian Football Federation have Announced that Both Games Against LE will be played in the Capital City of KP, a nation who hosted WC17 and has won at least once, the decision was reached after Negotiations were came up with both sides, "We as the HFF feel confident that we will be having safe games against this team, we Assure the Fans and the public that no one will be having a bad time in the games Against Liverpool England."

The Weegies have been known to win games, however they are also known for lacking off and making excuses from why the team lost, to why players don’t participate as normally as other places or FA's around the world.
Records

1-0-1

MD01: Squornshelous L 4-1
MD02: The Eagles Nest D 1-1
MD03: The Weegies
MD04: Liverpool England
MD05: Kingsford
MD06: Ratvipa
MD07: Antaeus Rising
MD08:@Squornshelous
MD09:@The Eagles Nest
MD010:@The Weegies
MD011:@Liverpool England

Table:


Group 9 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
The Eagles Nest 2 1 1 0 3 2 4 +1
Liverpool England 2 1 0 1 6 2 3 +4
Squornshelous 2 1 0 1 4 2 3 +2
Antaeus Rising 2 1 0 1 3 3 3 0
The Weegies 2 1 0 1 2 2 3 0
Kingsford 2 1 0 1 3 2 3 0
Ratvipa 2 1 0 1 1 5 3 -4
Hiiraan 2 0 1 1 2 5 1 -3
Bedistan
15-01-2005, 22:20
BFA president Johnny Lewis sat in his box seat on a cold Ninurtan morning. It was time for Team Bedistan's second World Cup 20 qualifying match. Prior to the match, he had announced the team's provisional use of the nickname "Green-Blues", hoping that the facelift would produce a better outcome. If it works, Lewis thought to himself, I'll proudly take all the credit. If not, I can just tell the truth, that I got the idea from some random guy on the streets of Commerce Heights.

Just three minutes in, the Green-Blues' 3-4-3 formation started producing. Kyle Dean had already put the team up 1-0, and things were looking good. The exhiliration of being ahead took some bite out of the strong, cold wind. Vanessa Carpenter added a second before halftime. I hope she'll play that well over at Vimesbairn U next year, thought Lewis.

Ninurta had several chances throughout the game, but they never seemed to be able to make anything out of them. Nick Reagan was dominant at goal, flawlessly parrying any stray ball that came within a country mile of the goal. Dean ended up closing the coffin with a second goal, and at full time the few Bedistani fans present were celebrating a well-earned three-nil win. It's decided, then, Lewis concluded, we keep the name. And I'm the one that came up with it too. I knew it was a great idea...

-----

FINAL SCORE:
Ninurta 0
Bedistan 3 (Dean 3, 71; Carpenter 38)
Lamoni
16-01-2005, 00:02
Hawks get off to dismal start

With 1-0 and 4-1 losses against Shonar Bangla and Eauz, the Lamoni Hawks are off to a bad start in WC XX. In fact, the Hawks play 4th ranked Rejistania next in what is sure to be a thrashing for the Hawks. Team Captain Matthew Bostock made a comment to the press today, "We know that we are new to the World Cup, that we are playing against some of the best teams in the world, and that we are not doing so well at first, but really, that is what we expected to happen this first time around. We've been experimenting with different formations, and even letting our more junior players get some playing time. This time however, we are going back to our standard formation ( http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/LamoniFormation.jpg ), which is 3-5-2. We are really expecting to win against the 4th ranked team in the world, but we will surely try."
Fmjphoenix
16-01-2005, 00:23
Vikings lose at last minute to Haperd on the road, fall back in standings

Fmjphoenix suffered a setback on their run to qualification as they were beated by Haperd 2-1 in matchday two. This is going to be a problem for the Vikings if they cannot win matches on the road. They already know they can go home and win matches, but they need to show that they can head out of town and produce points in the standings.

The match started off slowly, as neither team scored in the first half. There was a lot of back and forth between the sides, as neither goalkeeper would allow anything past them. Haperd hit first with a strike at 64 minutes to jump 1-0. But the Vikings came back to put it at 1 all with a solid strike by Jorge Mendel at 69 minutes in. The match looked drawn even with 1 point going to both sides when a Haperd forward took a long shot that hooked away from Powell Lamar to reach the lower left corner of the goal in time stoppage to give Haperd a 2-1 victory.

This match leaves the Vikings needing to get a win when they go back home to play host to Qia, a team they had a hard time against in World Cup 19, drawing and losing to them in the two previous matches. Hopefully the Vikings can avenge the past and put goals through to move back up in Group 10.

Fmjphoenix: 1
(Mendel 69)

Qia: 2
(Unknown 64, 90+)

World Cup XX Qualification:
MD01: Fmjphoenix vs. Nouveau Richelieu Win 4-2
MD02: Fmjphoenix @ Haperd Lose 1-2
MD03: Fmjphoenix vs. Qia
MD04: Fmjphoenix @ Ninurta
MD05: Fmjphoenix @ Sarzonia
MD06: Fmjphoenix vs. Total n Utter Insanity
MD07: Fmjphoenix @ Bedistan
MD08: Fmjphoenix @ Noveau Richelieu
MD09: Fmjphoenix vs. Hapred
MD10: Fmjphoenix @ Qia
MD11: Fmjphoenix vs. Ninurta
MD12: Fmjphoenix vs. Sarzonia
MD13: Fmjphoenix @ Total n Utter Insanity
MD14: Fmjphoenix vs. Bedistan
Record: 1-0-1
Rejistania
16-01-2005, 02:49
Orange-Blues start victorious

The first match of the Orange-Blues in this qualifiers ended with a close 1:0 victory. The Oceaice national team were outclassed by the Rejistanians even more than the scoreline would suggest. The Oceaicians struggled for most of the time against the All out Defense of the Lasane. Coach Siki Rej was satisfied with the result. While sipping on his coffee he said: "I am glad that the first test was that successful. Of course Oceaice is not Eauz or another strong team, but I think this match gave us a good momentum."

The Orange-Blues played in the Karelatux-style. Most of the match was pretty eventless. The few chances were for the Orange-Blues. Jariakeledema Ky-Inidiviayu was the one, who started the counter attack, but his shot bounced off the crossbar, Syku Lyku (the one, who is nicknamed "Sydi") eventually headed the reflected ball past the goalie and into the net.

The result
Rejistania 1 (Lyku 78th)
Oceaice 0


The machine, which won the match

(the magical RP camera is in the headquarters of the ASR, Siki Rej, the team, as well as some technicans are celebrating the win)

Syku Jaje (technican): Sanja Junis-Omeh'ny! Sanja Hexatux!

"Kvenu" (other technican): So you think the 2:0 was only due to Hexatux?

SJ: Mostly, that late substitution, the good tactics...

"Kvenu": Jie... The system works well normally, but something disturbed the data transmission to Pterodactyl, so it did not get real input... "Miki" and me had to improvise the input merely from the TV-R images.

Jysen Taki~l: oh, that was the reason why the output was that strange... we had no direct connection to the control device, so someone had to type everything so it could be sent. 't was my job. Well, when things were too unreasonable, I corrected it with human sense...

Siki Rej: Okay... so I got improvised tactics on improvised data, 's this right?

"Kvenu" and Taki~l'he both nod.

Siki Rej: Well, then it is okay that I did not value it all too much.

Syku Jaje: But... how did you then decide for the substitution? Why did you replace Y Syku for Duli~n Naneji.

Siki Rej: Not only the Hexatux can process data (Siki Rej points with his index finger and his middle finger to his head)

(The result:
Pterodactyl 0
Rejistania 2)
Krytenia
16-01-2005, 05:04
THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

Piscine In The Wind

Alan Munitis' debut as Krytenia's third full-time manager was a pleasant one, his new charges cruising to a two-one win over Limp Wristed Fish in Kallia.

Dave Van Staveren put the side in the lead on seventeen minutes with a powerful strike from the edge of the box, and Ashley Moreaux made sure of things on 55 minutes with a simple volleyed finish from a swinging Zavarov cross.

L.W.F. pulled one back two minutes from time from a corner, but Krytenia held on to pick up a well-deserved three points.

KRYTENIA....................2
Van Staveren 17
Moreaux 55
LIMP WRISTED FISH.......1
Troutboy 88



Pirates Plunder Point

The Celestials' first away game of their World Cup 20 campaign saw them pillaged of two points by the Oceaice Pirates. The "Crystilakere Factor" of the surprise World Champions had rubbed off on their overseas possessions too, as the Pirates were completely out of the game for the first eighty minutes.

It's possible Krytenia took the lead TOO early, as Acienko Rimmer netted his first of the qualifiers from the spot after Moreaux was felled in the box. Just three minutes has elapsed at this point. Despite constant pressure (and a fair amount of bruised woodwork), the men in sky blue could not add to their lead, and Oceaice went into half-time lucky to be only one-nil down.

The second half was more of the same, Alex Zavarov pinging a fierce shot into the side netting, and Moreaux thumping the post a fifth time, but Krytenia could not add to their lead. And then, with one long ball and one hashed clearance from Stephen Clay, the Pirates had their chance. Veteran keeper Adam Vernazza had had a rather uneventful game on this, his forty-fourth birthday, but not even he could stop the rifled shot which levelled the scores.

The game remained one-all, and Krytenia now sit third in Group One, but still with important ties to come. Next up, a home tie against Pterodactyl, and with luck a trio of points.

OCEAICE.........1
Noname 83
KRYTENIA........1
Rimmer 3(pen)
Liverpool England
16-01-2005, 06:06
Youngsters fail to impress
Lose 2-1 to deserving AR side

A weakened second-string Liverpool England side failed to keep a clean sheet as they lost 2-1 away to a deserving 150th-ranked Antaeus Rising side, once ranked as high as 14th.

Liverpool England went behind in the 66th minute to a well-worked Antaen move, the Antaen No 14 beating the offside trap to put te ball into the back of the net. Liverpool England got an equaliser against the run of play with 2 minutes left, and started to defend the game. However, a penalty given away in stoppage time meant that Antaeus Rising would finish the match as winners.

MD01: Ratvipa (H) Waterway Stadium, Schimpol Final Score: 5-0
MD02: Antaeus Rising (A) Final Score: 1-2
MD03: Kingsford (H) IDEXO Stadium, CCL
MD04: Hiiraan (N) Island Arena, Crivoska, Kaze Progressa
MD05: The Weegies (H) Grovers Park, Orean
MD06: Squornshelous (H) National stadium, CCL
MD07: The Eagles Nest (A)
MD08: Ratvipa (A)
MD09: Antaeus Rising (H) Waterway Stadium, Schimpol
MD10: Kingsford (A)
MD11: Hiiraan (N) Island Arena, Crivoska, Kaze Progressa
MD12: The Weegies (A)
MD13: Squornshelous (A)
MD14: The Eagles Nest (H) National Stadium, CCL

MATCHDAY 3 PREVIEW

KINGSFORD IDEXO Stadium, CCL
Syku Lyku is expected to play a full-strength squad against Kingsford at the IDEXO Arena in CCL. IDEXO, an ex-Kingsfordian club now based in the premier Liverpool England league and third-place finishers at CL5, have agreed to host the home leg of the qualifiers against Kingsford.

Potential Liverpool England dangerman: Thomas Moreno

In what is expected to be a highly defensive game for Liverpool England, Melmond-based international Thomas Moreno could be the one Kingsford have to try to get past - he is a rock in defence.

Potential Kingsford dangerman: While Kingsford don't exactly have an all-star lineup, we managed to pinpoint Ergus Walshup as a potential difficulty Liverpool England will face going forward.

Reports out of Hiiraan confusing
Hiiraanian press reporting MD4, MD11 games to be played in Kaza

The FALE have expressed their confusion that Hiiraanian press are reporting that the Matchday 4 and 11 matches between the two nations will take place in Kaza, the capital of Kaze Progressa, instead of Crivoska Island, the venue which the FALE had been offered by the KPFA.

Paul Dussis told reporters, "We are working right now to try to get (this mess) sorted. We've got contacts in Hiiraan, who'll ask the Hiiraanian FA for clarification. We're also making sure that the venue offered was indeed on Crivoska, although we're (almost) sure that that's what we were offered."
The Lowland Clans
16-01-2005, 06:55
GRAHAM CITY SUN - Who is on our team exactly?
Pontoon Perry, Sports Expert and All-Around A$$hole

GRAHAM CITY - You know, I tried to go watch the national teams practice today and as I appraoched the entrance to the Edinbrough Training Ground, I was met by two guys in suits packing enough heat to occupy Paris. They told me in slightly polit terms to bugger off. I told them who I was and to my surprise, a bullet landed in the concrete about a milimeter away from my big toe. Well, the speed at which I ran away from the pavilion was fast enough to indicate that I have some French blood in me. All of this, and I couldn't help but wonder, who exactly is on our national team anyways? The team this year is in a generational turn over, and is expected to lose quite a few good people.

But we haven't heard anything from ASFA or the new national manager, Lester Preston. Damn it, I want to know who I'm cheering for! The last two games were a local blackout, which dissapointed the approxiamtely 1.2 billion fans who are registered with the national fanclub, which has members stretching from Druida to Kaze Progressa, from even Vilita to Rejistania. Well, I've gone off looking for hints in the scant reports of our first two games, and here is what I found out:
1. We score. Alot.
In just two games, we have seven goals. SEVEN. The highest in World Cup Qualifying so far. Granted, they were against n00bs, but still, given are rash of bad feelings with Margaret, makes you wonder who are national team Manager is?

2. We can beat n00bs. Badly.
4-0 and 3-1 were the scorelines for our first two games. Hot damn it, we can beat n00bs again! Maybe this will carry over into the World Cup, were we might actually beat the teams we're supposed to!

So there you have it. So far, we can score and beat n00bs. Still doesn't convince me. Beat Turori on Matchday 5, and then you'll convince me we have a winning Wolrd Cup side. Beat Tadjikistan, and then you might convince me we can make it past the group stage. Release the roster, and you might convince me we are playing a bunch of Druidan dwarves for are national team.

Please, think of the children. Don't have dwarves play on our national team. Or leprechauns come to think of it.
Iansisle
16-01-2005, 10:39
“Isn’t that just typical, Calloway!” ranted Sir Gregory storming from one end of his office to the other. “We invest thousands of generals in a new stadium...”

“Millions, sir.”

“Millions of generals in a new stadium, and that bunch of clowns decides to win on the road, but not at home! The nerve of them!”

“Perhaps it would be better if we simply conceded the rest of our schedule?” asked Calloway with a small grin.

“Don’t be ridiculous, man!” bellowed Sir Gregory. “No, no - we need something sly! Something ingenious! Something so utterly nefarious and subtle that no one will ever know what happened!”

“Er...beg pardon, sir?”

“From this day forward, Calloway, I swear myself to work to ensure that the Ians never have a more successful Cup than the Gulls - never! And I have just the idea to claim that insolent Copplestone’s job!”

“...but... ... isn’t it also your sworn duty, before God and the King, to ensure that the Ians have a more successful Cup than Audioslavia?”

“Well - yes. So we shall have two football teams to sabotage! My telephone, Calloway, quick as you please! There’s not a moment to be lost!”

-------

“They’re transferring our game where!?”

“But didn’t the Gap just get a foot and a half of snow, like, last week?”

“The temperature in those mountains can’t be above ten degrees - if that! Coach, we’ve never practiced in weather that cold!”

“Hey, hey,” said John Copplestone, shouting over the general din. “Look, I’m no happier about the rescheduling than you are, but there’s nothing I can do. We’ll just have to play the game in the Normarch.”

“Have you tried talking to the Director of Sports, Games, and Recreation, coach?” asked James Goodman. “Maybe there’s been a mistake.”

“Well, I called him up. Ah, the voice on the other end laughed maniacally and then hung up.”

“There’s no way this is a good sign,” mumbled Henry Cotton. Everyone seemed to agree with him.
Kaze Progressa
16-01-2005, 11:20
After a horror start in the Progressair Stadium, drawing 1-1 with Sliponia - a nation far better known to Progressans for hosting the music festival RockStock than their football ability - the Progressans raced away with three points from GT-R, winning 3-2.

Sani Luvo, back to his best, scored twice in the first twelve minutes, before a highly unfortunate Bartaz Borapi own goal from a mad scramble in the penalty area opened up the match six minutes from half-time. Nerves were settled on the hour by a thunderous 25-yard low drive from Rahujiz Rapikok, now plying his trade in Melmond at club level; an injury-time consolation from massive striker Kenton Crofutt, inevitably with his head, was irrelevant.

'That was a tricky match', said Borapi. 'GT-R certainly have the physical attributes needed to make a name for themselves, and with continued exposure to top-level football could well become an emerging force.' As for the own goal, he called it 'crazy - it could have gone anywhere off anyone, and it had to go in off me. Always the way. Not that it mattered, thankfully.'

The manager, Arista Morvi, has been criticised by some for fielding a much younger side with many new players, including three under-23s from shock title-winners Pageas - Guna Odmod, Januzi Milivek and Avilar Hujiuz (another, goalkeeper Arista Tijiski, is rumoured to be starting the next match). 'I field my best eleven, according to my principles - that's the role of the manager. But inevitably there will be debate, which will always go on because the 'what if?' questions can never be conclusively answered,' Morvi said in an interview after the match.
South Osettia
16-01-2005, 11:21
Day three. Today's match was against the so-far very quiet Legalese, but I was still going to treat them with the utmost respect, I had decided over my breakfast of Ju-Ju Beans. They were after all ranked above us by some 30 positions.

Today was also the day of Cary's fourth test, and I had been pondering the night before over what it could be. Maybe I had to swim through a pool of sharks to test my survival skills, or something equally ridiculous and pointless. I came to the conclusion that nothing that Cary threw at me could possibly surprise me anyore, apart from one thing that I hadn't considered, but more about that later.

"Hi Emmett. Would you like me to take your coat? Fix you some coffee? How about a bagel? I can get one of those!" Polly stood as soon as I entered the office, and started to be unusually nice, which I commented upon.

"You're being unusually nice today Polly. Any reason?

"Do I have to have a reason for being nice to my brilliant employer?"

"What do you want?"

"Can I have my wages in advance?" I'd learnt not to take Polly at face value, and decided to hear her out. It was probably going to be put to good use anyway.

"Why?"

"I want to buy a pony." Then again, maybe not.

"Polly, if you'd said you wanted to give it to the starving people of the third world, I would have said yes. If you'd said you wanted to buy me a gift, I would have gladly given you the money. As it is, you wanting a pony is not really a good enough reason for advancing your wages."

"You could make it an early birthday present."

"Your birthday's not for ten months!"

"You could make it a very, very, very early birthday present."

"And when your birthday finally does come round and I turn up without a present, safe in the knowledge that I gave it to you ten months ago, you will say?"

"Where's my present?"

"Exactly. Now can we please drop this? Is Moni coming in today?"

"Oh, she rang earlier. Apparently she's sick and she won't be coming in today."

"Why not?"

"Because she's sick and the doctor said it was contagious. Apparently there's something going around at the moment."

"What're the symptoms?"

"Well, you feel sick...that's it."

"Oh. Well, if Moni's off sick, it must be pretty bad. She seems like a strong woman to me." Polly raised her eyebrow and smiled. That was a bad sign.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No, what?"

"Nothing, Emmett! God, can't a girl smile without being asked why?"

"No, not when your name's Polly and you're standing in my office. Now what?" She seemed undecisive - should she tell me or not? She plumped with the former.

"It's just that...you seem to be getting a little attached to Moni. Any particular reason for that?"

"I am not getting attached to Moni!"

"You so are, Emmett."

"So who's doing my briefing then?"

"I guess you are."

"Great, as if I didn't have enough to do today...what have I got to do today?" Polly checked the schedule.

"Absolutely nothing. Maybe you could call your fancy girl and ask her how she is."

"Polly, get out of here."

"Why?"

"Because you're annoying me."

"But don't I usually do that?"

"Yes...so you're just being you. Either way, get out while I'm working. Why don't you go down to the shop and get me a paper or something."

"Okay." Polly left and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Why was it that I got stuck with the most up-front assistant in the world? I decided to read Moni's report while Polly was gone. I called her office and got some random bystander to bring it to me, which she did in two minutes flat. Why couldn't my assistant be more like her, I thought to myself. Quick, efficient and very, very quiet.

I read the report through carefully. It consisted of two neatly typed pages with no mistakes, summarised at the bottom into three statements:

1) We have a great chance of beating this team if we go out there to do so.
2) They've said little, displaying a lack of confidence, which we will play to our advantage.
3) Want to go for dinner sometime?

"What's that got to do with Legalese?" I said to myself over the third statement. Then it hit me - she was asking me out? She was asking ME out? Me? The poor excuse for a man that I am, and she was asking me out? Well...

This was a new experience.
Starblaydia
16-01-2005, 14:05
#1 - Goalkeeper

"The position of Goalkeeper is always a tricky one, as any mistakes are frequently punished. No goalie is ever perfect, yet we have to pick the most perfect 'keeper from among our ranks.

"For your consideration, the Top Three:"

Boaz Myhill
Already Thirty-One when Starblaydia entered their debut World Cup 15 Qualifiers, Boaz's command of his area and shot-stopping were second-to-none. Even though Starblaydia only kept two clean sheets in eighteen Qualification games with him at the helm, his experience took him to be the current manager of his home-town of Corinth's club, the Corinthian Spirits.
His Record: 2 WCQs, 1 CoH, 1 IRC, 1 AOCAF.

Rodriguez Da Silva
Technically Starblaydia's first ever 'keeper, as he was between the sticks for the 3rd Under-21 World Cup. His athleticism is as legendary as his shaved-head and goatee. The Iskara Daii 'keeper for two decades, he could have walked onto any team he wanted, though stayed with them as they rose from the bottom to the top.
His Record: 3 WCQs (2 Finals), 2 CoHs, 1 U21WC, 1 IRC, 1 EC, 1 AOCAF

Markus Cragg
Continually behind Da Silva in the race for the differently-coloured jersey, Cragg's huge frame is something special in front of goal, as he's built like a tank, commanding his area with ease. His goal-kicks frequently go straight to the opposition's penalty box after a kick from his massive boot.
His Record: 3 WCQs (3 Finals), 1 CoH, 2 U21WCs, 1 IRC, 2 ECs, 1 AOCAF


"And the winner is: Rodriguez Da Silva."


Matchday 3 Scores and Tables are Available Here. (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7956962&postcount=4)
Snub Nose 38
16-01-2005, 14:12
Group 6
1 - Audioslavia (1)
2 - One Red Dot (21)
3 - Wella (29)
4 - Snub Nose 38 (42)
5 - Spaam (55)
6 - Giant Zucchini (78)
7 - East Lithuania (102)
8 - San Verdi (150)

Group 6 Results to date

Matchday 1
Audioslavia - 3 v Spaam - 1
One Red Dot -3 v Giant Zucchini - 1
Wella - 2 v East Lithuania - 2
Snub Nose 38 - 2 v San Verdi - 0

Matchday 2
Spaam -1 v Snub Nose 38 - 1
Giant Zucchini - 0 v Audioslavia - 3
East Lithuania - 0 v One Red Dot - 2
San Verdi - 2 v Wella - 3

Matchday 3
Audioslavia - 2 v East Lithuania - 0
One Red Dot - 1 v San Verdi - 1
Wella - 1 v Spaam - 1
Snub Nose 38 - 0 v Giant Zucchini - 2

Matchday 4
Spaam - 3 v One Red Dot - 1
Giant Zucchini - 1 v Wella - 4
East Lithuania - 2 v Snub Nose 38 - 1
San Verdi - 0 v Audioslavia - 1


Group 6
National Side P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Audioslavia 4 4 0 0 9 1 8 12
Wella 4 2 2 0 10 6 4 8
One Red Dot 4 2 1 1 7 5 2 7
Spaam 4 1 2 1 6 6 0 5
Snub Nose 38 4 1 1 2 4 5 -1 4
East Lithuania 4 1 1 2 4 7 -3 4
Giant Zucchini 4 1 0 3 4 10 -6 3
San Verdi 4 0 1 3 3 7 -4 1
Group 6 Schedule of Remaining Matches

Matchday 5
Audioslavia v One Red Dot
Wella v Snub Nose 38
Spaam v Giant Zucchini
East Lithuania v San Verdi

Matchday 6
Wella v One Red Dot
Snub Nose 38 v Audioslavia
East Lithuania v Giant Zucchini
San Verdi v Spaam

Matchday 7
Audioslavia v Wella
One Red Dot v Snub Nose 38
Spaam v East Lithuania
Giant Zucchini v San Verdi

Matchday 8
Spaam v Audioslavia
Giant Zucchini v One Red Dot
East Lithuania v Wella
San Verdi v Snub Nose 38

Matchday 9
Snub Nose 38 v Spaam
Audioslavia v Giant Zucchini
One Red Dot v East Lithuania
Wella v San Verdi

Matchday 10
East Lithuania v Audioslavia
San Verdi v One Red Dot
Spaam v Wella
Giant Zucchini v Snub Nose 38

Matchday 11
One Red Dot v Spaam
Wella v Giant Zucchini
Snub Nose 38 v East Lithuania
Audioslavia v San Verdi

Matchday 12
One Red Dot v Audioslavia
Snub Nose 38 v Wella
Giant Zucchini v Spaam
San Verdi v East Lithuania

Matchday 13
One Red Dot v Wella
Audioslavia v Snub Nose 38
Giant Zucchini v East Lithuania
Spaam v San Verdi

Matchday 14
Wella v Audioslavia
Snub Nose 38 v One Red Dot
East Lithuania v Spaam
San Verdi v Giant Zucchini

note - home sides are listed first

Hooligan home matches will be played on the City of Sten High School football field – the practice field if there’s a conflict between the High School side and the National side.

Tickets to all Hooligans matches are still available, and can be purchased at any Snubitron outlet. Or, you can call the Ministry. Just ask for Beverly.
Snub Nose 38
16-01-2005, 15:11
*we find a spirited discussion underway in the offices of the minister of athletics, olympics, and alcoholic beverages. the minister is seated on a folding chair behind a field desk. he's having a bit of difficulty balancing the chair, as one of it's legs seems to be missing. he does not seem to be having any difficulty balancing the "38 special" beer in his right hand. there is a small tower of "empties" on the field desk. standing...um...well... "floating" actually ...just inside the door - look, it's not a door, really - it's the tent flap of this rather large, old, musty tent. we remember this tent - although it seems to have deteriorated quite a bit since last we "visited". but, we digress. "floating" just inside the flap is the spectre of ben dover. just behind ben and through the flap opening - or rather, through ben and behind the flap opening - we see the national side of snub nose 38 (the hooligans) milling about. and, directly in front of ben stands a wild eyed figure in a recently washed midnight blue hooded cape and patched burgundy robes*

- Stand aside, ghostie!
- Now, Margaret, calm down.
- I'm warnin' ye, move out o' me way!
- Have a care, Ben.
- Eh?
- The accent is a sure sign she's angry. Well, angrier, actually.
- 'Tis a final warnin' I be givin' ye, spirit!
- Margaret, there's no cause for alarm.
- Have at ye!

*margaret "has at" ben. a few left jabs. which rather ineffectually go through the incorporal form of the past-manager-now-consultant to the hooligans. a look of disappointment comes over her visage*

- Blast an' be damned, ye foul ghostie! Fight fair, man!
- Oh, shut up, Margaret. They only lost one match.
- See, I told you it wasn't so bad.
- Best keep yer mindless drivel t' yerself, ye pointy headed nit!
- Rude. It always comes down to a rude reply with you.
- Margaret, really. He's right this time. They've only lost one match.
- Begora! Open yer eyesockets, laddie! Right off they win one, but again' a lightweight opponent! Next up comes a bit of competition and a draw's all they can muster! That they follow by foldin' up completely again' a real contender! Can ye not see the downhill trend, man?
- It's only one loss, Margaret.
- There's still eleven matches to play, dear.
- Can ye not cease yer blitherin', ye great dolt!?
- Oh, I give up! Maybe you can talk some sense into her, Ben. I get a better response from this six-pack.
- Margaret, be reasonable.
- And what then is it that would have me commence such a thing now, ghostie?
- We need you. The Hooligans need you. We need you calm, in control of yourself, and working those chickens.
- Well, then, get his high-and-mighty-mister-minister off his duff and on his way.
- Way to what?
- To pick up the blasted chickens!
- He didn't get the chickens?
- He didn't get the chickens.
- ...Get off your duff, butt-head, and go get the blasted chickens!
- But...
- Did ye nae hear him, fool? Fetch the flippin' fowls.

*mumbling things under his breath that we cannot repeat in mixed company, the minister puts his half finished "38 special" down on the field table, grabs his jacket from a hook on the tent pole, and exits through ben and the tent flap, on his way to pick up the chickens. as he leaves, margaret rounds on ben again. we think it best to let them finish their...talk...in private, and so we follow the minister out. we notice we feel just a little cool and clammy as we pass through ben.*
The Eagles Nest
16-01-2005, 15:43
TEN Limps Through Ratvipa, Travel to Antaeus Rising Tomorrow

Holst's Replacement Will Join Team Against AR

With the Nest trying a more defensive stance to ensure the win against Ratvipa after the loss of veteran defender Leonard Holst, The Strike Birds did put away two goals early courtesy of Glim Graerstiow and Siggy Secour to earn a valuable three points and a 2-0 win over Ratvipa. The entire second half, was a literal tryout session in the defenders group for the Nest, as they tried to see who was the best to keep the ball away from the opposing team. The fans did eventually get board that tehre were no shots at the opposing goal, so Horace ripped one from 87 yards, but missed just left. No word on how the opposing midfielder who caught the gas cloud face on is doing at this time.

Emergency tryouts for the final spot on the Nest roster was held in an adjoining stadium during the match to see who would move onto the team as a backup, Who exactly will replace Holst from the current backup list is in a state of flux. At press time, the tryouts were not complete, but apparently there were two stellar defenders that may in fact BOTH earn a spot on the team.

TENFA continues to express outrage at the official who did nothing after the Hiiraanian player snapped Holst's leg in three pieces with a horrendous undisciplined tackle. "It has been noted that the referee in question has been removed from playing any Strike Birds games for the remainder of the cup, and there is an internal investigations by the official's corps. TENFA will continue to watch this closely," said TENFA head Talio Aefnen.

With all of the chaos going around, it has been impressive watching the team play so far. They go to Antaeus Rising, a team that has already pulled an upset, so the Nest will have to be careful in their match tomorrow.

No major upsets in Group 9 today with all home teams holding serve, and so the standings stay like this:


Group 9 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
The Eagles Nest 3 2 1 0 5 2 7 +3
Squornshelous 3 2 0 1 10 2 6 +8
Liverpool England 3 2 0 1 9 2 6 +7
The Weegies 3 2 0 1 5 3 6 +2
Kingsford 3 1 0 2 3 5 3 -2
Antaeus Rising 3 1 0 2 3 9 3 -6
Ratvipa 3 1 0 2 1 7 3 -6
Hiiraan 3 0 1 2 3 8 1 -5
South Osettia
16-01-2005, 16:24
"You were never ill, were you?"

"How did you guess?"

"You know, I should really dock your wages for skipping work."

"Then why don't you...sir."

"I think I'll let this one slip." It was several hours later, and Moni and I were in a good restaurant (of which there are few in South Osettia) with good music (of which there is even less in South Osettia) and good wine (which is like gold dust in South Osettia). The evening was going well - the food had been good, the waiter hadn't spilled any piping hot substances over me, and I had managed to avoid saying something embarrassing. Now all that was missing was the result from Legalese. Just then the waiter sidled over to our table and passed me a slip of paper - it looked liked that little something was no longer missing.

"What a lovely night this has been. The moon is out in full, the sound of the distant waterfalls is tranquilising, the food was - "

"Crap!" I had opened the slip and seen:

Legalese 4-0 South Osettia

"Well, that wasn't the word I was thinking of..."

"No, not that. This!" I handed her the slip of paper, which she duly read. She crumpled it up and tossed it over her shoulder.

"Who cares about that - it's just a game, after all."

"It's not just a game, it's my career - it's my life."

"You really need to get out more."

"Is that an offer?"

"Maybe...although I would ask for one favour first."

"And what's that?"

"Could you please stop kicking me - it really hurts." I realised that I had been kicking Moni's leg for the past five minutes. I stopped abruptly. Either I went bright red or someone fell over behind me, because Moni started laughing. Just then some guy froma few tables down walked over to our little niche.

"Excuse me, but did one of you throw this at us? I wouldn't mind, only it fell in my drink." He held up a soggy piece of paper, dyed red by the wine.

"Er...well...um..." Luckily Moni came to my rescue.

"Yeah, we saw that too. I had to duck to make sure it didn't hit me. It must've been the next table up." As the guy walked off, she turned back to me. "Well thanks for helping me out there, like the valiant knight that you are."

"Sure, no problem." She laughed again, and it filled my heart with joy that she found me funny. I didn't care whether she was laughing with me or at me, as long as she was happy, that was all that mattered.

"Maybe we should get out of here before that guy comes back."

"I think you're right - there's a park over there - wanna go sit on the bench?"

"Hmmm...difficult one...okay!" We paid and left a substantial tip for our waiter, who thanked us a hundred times (literally - we were standing there for five minutes in complete embarrassment as he did so). We then made our way to the park where we sat down on the park bench and watched the ducks. It was then that I remembered something that Polly had said a few days ago.

"Moni?"

"Yeah?"

"Polly said that Moni was short for something? What is it?"

"I don't want to tell you."

"Why not?"

"It's embarrassing and I hate it."

"I can't be that bad."

"You wanna bet?" She leaned over and whispered in my ear.

"Woah - that is bad. How did your parents find that one?"

"I don't know. I think it might have had something to do with my grandfather. He was into them, you see."

"Right." We sat in silence for ten seconds. I tried to find something to say before she asked about going home, but I was too late.

"It's getting late. Maybe we should go home."

"When I will see you again?"

"Never."

"What, not even tomorrow at work?"

"Oh yeah...work. I forgot about that." We got up. I tried to kiss her, but she pulled away.

"It's too early, Emmett. Just...just leave it for now."

"Whatever you want."

"Goodnight, Emmett." She turned and walked away. I watched her as she got further and further away, and then she turned the corner and was hidden from view.

"Goodnight...Harmonica," I whispered. Then I walked off into the night. Where? Wherever I felt like going. I knew that tomorrow would be a good day. How good? Only tomorrow would tell. I could wait until tomorrow. I could wait forever.
San Verdi
16-01-2005, 17:51
Group 6
1 - Audioslavia (1)
2 - One Red Dot (21)
3 - Wella (29)
4 - Snub Nose 38 (42)
5 - Spaam (55)
6 - Giant Zucchini (78)
7 - East Lithuania (102)
8 - San Verdi (150)

Group 6 Results to date

Matchday 1
Audioslavia - 3 v Spaam - 1
One Red Dot -3 v Giant Zucchini - 1
Wella - 2 v East Lithuania - 2
Snub Nose 38 - 2 v San Verdi - 0

Matchday 2
Spaam -1 v Snub Nose 38 - 1
Giant Zucchini - 0 v Audioslavia - 3
East Lithuania - 0 v One Red Dot - 2
San Verdi - 2 v Wella - 3

Matchday 3
Audioslavia - 2 v East Lithuania - 0
One Red Dot - 1 v San Verdi - 1
Wella - 1 v Spaam - 1
Snub Nose 38 - 0 v Giant Zucchini - 2


Group 6
National Side P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Audioslavia 3 3 0 0 8 1 7 9
One Red Dot 3 2 1 0 6 2 4 7
Wella 3 1 2 0 6 5 1 5
Snub Nose 38 3 1 1 1 3 3 0 4
Giant Zucchini 3 1 0 2 3 6 -3 3
Spaam 3 0 2 1 3 5 -2 2
San Verdi 3 0 1 2 3 6 -3 1
East Lithuania 3 0 1 2 2 6 -4 1
Group 6 Schedule of Remaining Matches

Matchday 4
Spaam v One Red Dot
Giant Zucchini v Wella
East Lithuania v Snub Nose 38
San Verdi v Audioslavia

Matchday 5
Audioslavia v One Red Dot
Wella v Snub Nose 38
Spaam v Giant Zucchini
East Lithuania v San Verdi

Matchday 6
Wella v One Red Dot
Snub Nose 38 v Audioslavia
East Lithuania v Giant Zucchini
San Verdi v Spaam

Matchday 7
Audioslavia v Wella
One Red Dot v Snub Nose 38
Spaam v East Lithuania
Giant Zucchini v San Verdi

Matchday 8
Spaam v Audioslavia
Giant Zucchini v One Red Dot
East Lithuania v Wella
San Verdi v Snub Nose 38

Matchday 9
Snub Nose 38 v Spaam
Audioslavia v Giant Zucchini
One Red Dot v East Lithuania
Wella v San Verdi

Matchday 10
East Lithuania v Audioslavia
San Verdi v One Red Dot
Spaam v Wella
Giant Zucchini v Snub Nose 38

Matchday 11
One Red Dot v Spaam
Wella v Giant Zucchini
Snub Nose 38 v East Lithuania
Audioslavia v San Verdi

Matchday 12
One Red Dot v Audioslavia
Snub Nose 38 v Wella
Giant Zucchini v Spaam
San Verdi v East Lithuania

Matchday 13
One Red Dot v Wella
Audioslavia v Snub Nose 38
Giant Zucchini v East Lithuania
Spaam v San Verdi

Matchday 14
Wella v Audioslavia
Snub Nose 38 v One Red Dot
East Lithuania v Spaam
San Verdi v Giant Zucchini

note - home sides are listed first



San Verdi Round Up


MD1 -

Snub Nose 38 2-0 San Verdi

A poor performance by anyone's standards, as newcomers San Verdi fall to defeat against Snub Nose 38. To make matters worse, one of the goals came from the boot of one of our own players, namely Pietro Fusco,on as a late sub, slicing a cross into his own net as San Verdi were caught on the break late on, as we pressed for an equaliser.

MD2 -

San Verdi 2-3 Wella

A close game, the lead changed hands 3 times, Wella (29th seeds) took the lead early on, but a minute before half-time Roberto Di Stefano tucked home a penalty after Toto Evani had been felled by the Wellan' 'keeper. On 62 minutes, San Verdi were in front, substitute Paolo Terremoto striking a free-kick over a poorly-constructed wall, and into the top-left-hand corner of the goal. Sadly, San Verdi collapsed, Wella scoring 2 in 3 minutes, on 82 and 84 respectively, to dash any hope of San Verdi qualifying.

MD3 -

One Red Dot 1-1 San Verdi

A Stunning draw away from home, as San Verdi shocked the 21st seeds One Red Dot with a late equaliser, after the 'Dots had taken a 20th minute lead, late pressure from San Verdi told and on 88 minutes, a corner was cleared to the feet of Michele Giárdin,who struck a low shot through a crowd of players and in.
Lethislavania
16-01-2005, 18:25
Tadjikistan [0] - [0] Lethislavania

After a lovely win, the Lethislavanian people braced themselves for the impending storm over the horizon - Tadjikistan. Although this team shared a name with her colony, North Tajikistan, they were much different. One was based in Central Asia, while the other is a small island named after the large number of Tajikistani immigrants. Alas, such technicalities are of no matter.

Clouds, wispy and thick beings coloured gray, hungered in the distance, moving onimously closer to the two large fields. Large beams of lightning shot down from above, cascading pure electricity upon the ground. With each luminous strike, a resounding drum-like noise emerged, drowning the city. Rain began to pour down, a constant melody creting a deadly symphony.

The players took the field, the drops of rain lowering the colours on their shirts. The crowd shuffled around, blocked from the liquid droplets by round canvas, large green and black umbrellas.

The game began slowly, with mud quickly building up over the precious green. Pools of brown water began to form, a seperate world each. Thomas Boeing had a tussle with Ter Gasparian. Punches began to fly, as Gasparians fist launched across the air, landing squarely upon Boeing's face. Droplets of water shot off in every direction, and Thomas threw his own rocket, nailing his fist deeply into Gasparian's stomach. The whistles blew, piercing the eerie silence of the game. The referee came up, and raised the red card, a glaring admonishment, and presented it to Boeing. Gasparian laughed, as he recieved no punishment. A tidal wave of insults rushed down from the stands, crushing the morale of the Lethislavanian side.

The game began again, with Cel Karra dribbling up the field. Sliding it over, the ball spun through the mud towards Kerry, who nailed it back towards Karra. Jumping, Karra when for the head, but the lower part of his body was knocked down by a running Tadjik, leaving him crumpled on the ground, the mud soaked a deep maroon.

The rest of the team faired no better, but they continued with a vigorous onslaught of tactical moves. Tadjikistan's Koshevoi ran up the field with three minutes left, his feet barely touching the ground, and pulled back, launching the spinning ball towards the goal. Plato jumped, and easily caught the ball, his reward the result on the scoreboard. 0 - 0. Lethislavania could finally hold it's own.
Krytenia
16-01-2005, 18:26
THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

Ptero-ble Performance

The Celestials were well held in a dull game in Avidia, as Pterodactyl's defence stood firm to claim a goalless draw. It was a game of few chances, though the 'Dactyls keeper made a fine save from a swirling Van Staveren free kick.

Krytenian fans are, however relishing the next game. Their opponents on Matchday Four are Lamoni, the Regional Delegate from Krytenia's previous affiliate region, Atlantian Oceania. It will mark only the second game between the two sides, and the Celestials will be looking for revenge for their two-one defeat way back in AOCAF II. The Hawks haven't been on the best of form, but three points will be vital if Krytenia are to keep up with the runaway leading pair of Rejistania and Eauz.

KRYTENIA....................0
PTERODACTYL..............0
Vilita
16-01-2005, 18:34
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/logo.gif
Soler inspires Sybex Romp
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif
Vilita Goalscorers::
6' Petros Alfieri
37' Callum Banda
38' Callum Banda
58' Serge DuPont
61' Inaki Soler
69' Marasent Sioane
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

-------------------Let me tell you a little somethign about Inaki Soler for you guys that don't know. Inaki Soler kicks ASS. Inaki Soler was on the national team when he was 17. Yea, you can have wayne rooney, but who the heck needs him when you've got Inaki Soler. Sure he may not score as many goals, but wait, how often does Wayne Rooney actualy put the ball in the net? I mean, great, he scored one or two for Everton when no one knew who he was and earned a gazillion dollar transfer. But Inaki Soler keeps on trucking, and scoring. Never the best at what he does, He will always be the most reformed, and If I was you, I'd want Inaki Soler on my time. Hah! Too bad, you can't have him. Oh yea, 60 something International Goals, Callum Banda's good too.

-------------------But I mean, he had 17 shots on goal, out of the 27 recorded in a pretty good performence by the Sybex goalkeeper, to be honest, I mean he made 21 saves, what is this hockey? Maybe Sybex needs to cut back and get on the ice... Talk about getting back, how about the game against Five Civilized Nations?

-------------------How and Why Jim Vella and Lorenzo Mumamba were selected for the match, I have no clue. But they were, and they scored. Go Figure. I mean Lorenzo Mumamba has 2 goals in his whole career, and one of them was in AOCAF, so it doesn't even count, and the other one was in a cup that Melmond made up during the voodoo cup of harmony. The only thing Lorenzo Mumamba ever did for Vilita, scored the winning goal in the Voodoo cup of Tardy. Eh, first thing Vilita ever Won. So yea, how did they get into a match? I don't know. Probably happened to be vacationing in Five Civilized Nations and the rest of the Eight choice strikers ahead of them got sick or broke a curfew or something. Oh well, don't expect to see them ever again, but hey, you never know.


Full Time Analysis:

Vilita

Best Player: Jaloey Afrikka
Worst Player: Callum Banda
Shots on Target: 27
Corner Kicks: 38

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/teamsheet.gif
Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Jimmy Kater, [D] Petros Alfieri, [D] Christos Tchami, [D] Jaloey Afrikka, [DMC] Jürgen Ramzi, [ML] Umberto Melli, [MC] Jacques Vintila, [MC] Marasent Sioane, [MR] Inaki Soler, [FC] Serge DuPont, [FC] Callum Banda,
BENCH::
[FC] Riccardo Appolloni, [FC] Germán Salomón, [M] Musa Nikiema, [M] Sublé Tonic, [U] Emarka Laniora, [D] Esemar Aliana, [GK] Delain Falcón,

Vilita Substitutions::
(45) - Jacques Vintila >>> Germán Salomón
(59) - Umberto Melli >>> Musa Nikiema
Eauz
16-01-2005, 18:46
*Thank you Rejistania & Snub for making me realise what is means to be part of the cup, I had become blinded by success before...

First time at the stadium

I have never been a fan of writing in a diary, for I thought it would be a waste to just write about something, which happened. Often, these diaries turn into complaints and bickering. That is why I never really tried to write one of these things, but yesterday I realised that some things should be remembered with more than just ones memory.

Starting yesterday morning, when I woke up, just like another one of these days, nothing special. I did my chores for the house, which helps my family too. I don’t mind the cleaning, because it helps out in the long run. My father, who worked in a factory, came home a little earlier that day, and had quite the expression on his face. I asked him what was the matter, and he held out in front of me tickets to watch the Eauz national team play. We had never seen Les Bleus play, mainly for the fact that we hadn’t had a major desire to watch the team. My father and I took the 16h41 train to the stadium, which was 30 minutes away. Arriving there around 17h15, we got off the train, and both of us stared at the mighty looking Stade d’Eauz. The match was to start in about 45 minutes, and thus my father and I walked around a bit to explore the stadium. The structure was amazing, with seats everywhere, excitement, and the best thing, is that the stadium was not flooded with publicity and advertisements, that one usually sees in stadiums. I learnt that from an economics class I took at school.

The match started, despite my lack of knowledge of who Eauz was playing. I looked up at the scoreboard, and it showed the name “Limp Wristed Fish”. I laughed at the name, and couldn’t believe that anyone could take this team serious. During the whole match, Eauz looked to be very strong, despite the fact that they were actually playing against a weak team. Looking around, the stadium was not filled to capacity, which I assumed was because of the weak team. Too bad for those fans who have become spoiled, watching even one match, no matter the toughness of the opponent team made me feel lucky to even attend one match. Despite the lack of crowd, we made quite the amount of noise, when during the 24th minute of play, Number 10, I believe his name is Alia used his skill and knocked his way through the weak defence, scoring the first goal for Eauz. Fans screamed and shouted with excitement. I couldn’t believe such a wonderful atmosphere like this existed. I had to use the bathroom a little bit after, and thus my father attended me to the bathroom. Apparently, during that time, Eauz scored another goal, but I missed the whole play. According to the people around us, it was a spectacular goal.

At half time, I rushed down to the lowest level just to get a closer view of the players. My, they looked impressive and large. The spirit in them also seemed large. The rest of the half time was spent exploring the stadium some more. The second half arrives, and I was not to miss a second of the match. The referee seemed a bit harsh in the second half, as he started handing out yellow cards from every angle. In total for the second half, 5 yellow cards were handed out between the two teams. This was both thrilling and boring, as I didn’t want to see the play stopped all the time, but I could also see the spirit of play in both teams players. Finally the match was over, Eauz had marked a 3rd goal, and their defence was barely tested, as the team from Limp Wristed Fish realised that they have to become a tougher team if they are to compete in the world cup. No matter what the result would have been, I really enjoyed the atmosphere and fun of the stadium. Despite not being much interested in football before, I have found a new desire to watch and play it. Who knows, maybe I’ll be playing in front of a kid, just like myself someday. Nonetheless, I will not make this a regular thing to do, writing in a journal, I just wanted to remember this moment I experienced.

-Joseuf Cambier
Sarzonia
16-01-2005, 18:51
Stars keeping pace with 'Insanity'

NICKSIA (ASP) -- Three matches against three of the bottom feeders in Group 10, three wins for the Sarzonian national football team. Despite the last two wins coming in unimpressive 2-1 fashion against the eighth seed and fifth seed respectively, the Stars are still all alone in second place with only goal differential separating them from Total 'n Utter Insanity in the standings.

"We just haven't been as sharp as we'd like, particularly against Nouveau Richelieu," Coach Dave Wilson said. "We have to give some credit to Haperd being a good football side for coming in and playing hard, but we should have won easily against Nouveau Richelieu."

Goalkeeper John Bartlett earned the start to give goalkeeper Troy Perkins a chance to stay sharp and gave up an 18th minute goal that saw the Stars trailing their lower seeded counterparts 1-0, but goals by Darwin Russell and Barry Alphonso just three minutes apart as the first half started coming to a close provided the Stars with their margin of victory in the first match.

"We needed to avoid that upset loss at the very beginning that's plagued us early," Russell said. "We're glad we were able to get the full three [standings points] without playing well."

At the Round Table in Nicksia, the Stars gave up an own goal against Haperd after taking an early lead in the eighth minute, but Russell scored the game winning goal in the 75th minute to put the Stars ahead to stay.
Cockbill Street
16-01-2005, 20:00
Kansu Lyku Celebrates With Three Victories
Cockbill Street On Course For World Cup Twenty

When could we last say that? The Streeters - of both varieties - seem to be in a spot of serious luck in sports recently. Nonesuch Street made the semi-finals of the Cup of Harmony, the Cockbill Street rugby side took a World Cup title (amazing for a nation where rugby must be about fourteenth on the list of sports), Cockbill Street's footballers then winning the International Recreational Cup title (amid shouts of fraud), and now, an almost-perfect start to the football world cup.

It didn't start well. 90 % of Streetian sports journalists retired in spontaneous frustration after Kansu Lyku was elected in a landslide - taking 46.5 % of the vote, almost three times as much as runner-up candidate, Lee Branson - and several were spotted sulking outside the National Stadium for the first match against Korinthos.

But it actually seemed to go rather well. The "Anti-Karela" brigade were seated in one part of the stadium, where they chanted Korinthos chants and hoped that some people in the defence would rebel against the system and start playing the passes where they belonged - along the floor.

Or so the purists thought. But it seems obvious to everyone who can read a table (and not upside-down, like Streetians have been doing for the past forty years), that Kansu Lyku's team is performing much better, and isn't that all that counts in football?

As for the matches, well, even this reporter (one of the few who remained) has recognised that there isn't much to report on. A couple of chances against Korinthos, one conceded penalty, and that match ended in a drab 2-1. Even more boring away at Aust, where the only entertainment came through the opposing manager Brian Clough, who obviously enjoyed being in the spotlight once again.

So, for the third match against Big Pimento, the Streetian fan-base had for the most part brought pillows. They did trust that the team would win, but preferably wanted to go to sleep after an early goal. Those who did avoided a pleasant surprise. The Cockbill team, for once, produced football with chances abundant, particularly in the second half, in which the Pimento goalkeeper had great worry and had to see three balls in behind him. Two of them were initiated by Philip McLavish, who made exquisite crosses throughout the match which Moissanite, the Melmond professional, who seemed to be magnetically attached to that ball (except that he switched it off once the ball had met his head).

The fourth goal was scored by Scott Walker, one of his few goals at international level, as Rhianna Peters crossed in the corner and Walker got up highest in the area. After the match, Walker said that he "was very pleased to have attained such a key role in the team, and hope to help the Streeters to another World Cup."

Kansu Lyku has held himself rather withdrawn from the press, probably owing to his poor knowledge of English (or any other language spoken in the Street), but is suspected to be rather pleased with the qualification charge so far - except for the conceded goal against Korinthos. As he says: "Better to 1:0 win than 4:3 win!"

Cockbill Street 2 (Peters 15, Heimfoething 54)
Korinthos 1

Cockbill Street ratings: Underwood 5 - Stronginthearm 6, Dwarfclobberer 6 (Widdleston on 59 4), Galena 7, Axewielder 6, Walker 6 - McLavish 6, Heimfoething 5, Cawdron 6 (Swytherton on 70) - Peters 6, Moissanite 5 (Wharton on 80)

Aust 0
Cockbill Street 1 (Heimfoething 88)

Cockbill Street ratings: Underwood 7 - Stronginthearm 6, Dwarfclobberer 6, Galena 7, Axewielder 6 (Golddevourer on 70), Walker 6 - McLavish 6 (Rankin on 88), Heimfoething 5, Swytherton 6 - Peters 6, Moissanite 6 (Wharton on 68)

Cockbill Street 4 (Peters 11, Moissanite 55, 67, Walker 80)
Big Pimento 0

Cockbill Street ratings: Underwood 6 - Stronginthearm 6, Dwarfclobberer 6, Galena 5, Axewielder 6 (Golddevourer on 64), Walker 7 - McLavish 7, Heimfoething 6, Swytherton 6 - Peters 6 (Canning on 74), Moissanite 6 (Wharton on 83)

Results of g'irgah elections:

Kansu Lyku 46.57%
Lee Branson 17.87%
Trefor Trefor 12.45%
I Axewieldersson10.19%
G Francois 9.31%
M Corsi 3.61%
Spurland
16-01-2005, 20:39
Spurland Gain First Point, Remain Bottom. Manager Looks To Next Game.
Oaker 2 v 2 Spurland

After back to back defeats at the hands of The Lowland Clans and Turori, Spurland grabbed their first point of the campaign in a largely uneventful game in Oaker. After their first two defeats, Spurland remain bottom of their group.

All of the games shots on target were converted into goals. Scorers for Spurland were Martin Wolf and Tokai Hashish on the 34th and 77th minutes respectively. Hashishs' goal coming from a superb individual run from the half-way line, during which he dribbled past five Oaker players and neatly sloted the ball past the keeper.

"I am disappointed with the effort being put into the past three games, I was targeting this one against Oaker for a victory," commented Spurland manager Morzaria after the game.

"Hopefully we get a result against Tadjikistan at home. They are a tough team to beat and are now top of our group."

"We last plaed them in qualifying for World Cup 16, where they beat us both times, I hope we can reverse the result this time around and put a dent in their qualifying run."

Expected Line-Up v Tadjikistan (4-4-2)
1. Xavier Breach

2. Marcus Abbot
3. Albert Kaholic
18. Peter Head
5. Andy Lambert

6. Graham Mead
8. Richard Oldman
9. Robbie Manali
15. Jon Cream

10. Martin Wolf
20. Tokai Hashish


FIXTURES/RESULTS
MD01: The Lowland Clans v Spurland L 4-0
MD02: Spurland v Turori L 0-2
MD03: Oaker v Spurland D 2-2
MD04: Spurland v Tadjikistan
MD05: Lethislavania v Spurland
MD06: Wickerslack v Spurland
MD07: Spurland v Irenadia
MD08: Spurland v The Lowland Clans
MD09: Turori v Spurland
MD10: Spurland v Oaker
MD11: Tadjikistan v Spurland
MD12: Spurland v Lethislavania
MD13: Spurland v Wickerslack
MD14: Irenadia v Spurland


Group 5 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Tadjikistan 3 2 1 0 5 0 7 +5
Turori 3 2 1 0 6 3 7 +3
The Lowland Clans 3 2 0 1 7 2 6 +5
Oaker 3 1 1 1 4 4 4 0
Lethislavania 3 1 1 1 3 3 4 0
Irenadia 3 1 0 2 1 3 3 -2
Wickerslack 3 0 1 2 3 8 1 -5
Spurland 3 0 1 2 2 8 1 -6
Praying2God
16-01-2005, 22:34
John Carlson (JC): This is John Carlson coming to you live from Crystilakere, where the Praying2God Warriors just completed their match against the defending WC Champions from Crystilakere. The Warriors came out on the short end today, losing 0-3.

David Tall (DT): They certainly showed improvement over their last match, John, which was all Coach Johnson could have been looking for today when visiting the defending WC Champs. If they keep improving a little bit each match, then they should manage a decent finish.

Lisa Simonson (LS): I'll agree that the Warriors played better today than they did in their last match against Iansisle, but it doesn't get any easier for them as they host the surprise team of the group right now, Legalese in their next match.

DT: You have to look at the bright side, though Lisa, and that's that Legalese isn't nearly as highly ranked as the Warriors first three opponents, so the Warriors should have a better chance of pulling off the upset.

JC: What are your impressions of the Warriors so far?

DT: Considering that they were supposed to be at the bottom of the table right now considering their early schedule, to see them sitting in 5th place is quite a shock, especially with the hardest three match stretch of the tournament now behind them.

LS: The Warriors have certainly exceeded expectations so far, since nobody figured they'd have a single digit goal differential right now after facing three of the top 30 teams in the world in their first three matches. I'm still not convinced that the Warriors will have very much success, though, because teams generally don't have a lot of success in their first WC, even if it's in a return after a long absence.

DT: I'm becoming more convinced that the Warriors could prove to be the spoiler in this group, and ruin the chances for one of the top four in the end.

JC: What do you see coming out of the big three match homestand coming up for the Warriors?

DT: I wouldn't be surprised to see the Warriors come up with 5-7 points in the three matches. They should beat Nevigrad, and the matches against Legalese and South Osettia should be close. If they could pull out seven points, I would not be surprised to see them sitting fourth or fifth in the group at the midway point of qualifying.

LS: I laugh at your eternal optimism. The Warriors may pull out four points in their next three matches, but I don't see them pulling out anymore than that. They'll likely be sixth in the group at the midway point and will either finish there or slide to seventh at the end of qualifying.

DT: I don't disagree with a sixth place finish at the end of qualifying, especially with a three match road trip following a home match against Crystilakere that could get ugly, but I wouldn't bet against them surprising some people yet.

JC: How about the play of Sarah Walker in net so far?

LS: She's been doing as well as could be expected for a squad in their first WC. Given time to develop she could become one of the best keepers in the world by the end of her career.

DT: Not only that, Lisa, but a couple of the goals that have been scored on her have been incredibly lucky bounces for the other team. She definitely should be a force to be reckoned with within the next Cup or two.

JC: What about the play of the offense?

LS: That has been a vast disappointment so far. The top elementary school team in Praying2God could probably put up better offensive numbers than this.

DT: And lose what 1-100?! The offense has done about as well as could be expected under the circumstances. They'll have more chances to score as the competition gets easier, and hopefully they'll build up some confidence before running into the big three of the group again.

JC: That's all the time we have for today. I'm John Carlson, and for David Tall and Lisa Simonson...Good night everybody.


Crystilakere 3 <player> (14), <player> (71), <player> (88)
Praying2God 0


OOC-There's an error in the tables...Jerusalem and Praying2God should be reversed, but I'm not complaining. ;)
Total n Utter Insanity
16-01-2005, 23:03
Hexatux: The Untold Story

Insanician 1: It's evil I tell you.

Insanician 2: Nah, it just gives the players order based on a bunch of numbers.

Insanician 1: It's a machine, programmed to destroy the other team, and you know what happens when a machine is programmed to destroy, don't you?

Insanician 2: It beeps a lot?

Insanician 1: Haven't you ever seen Terminator?

Insanician 2: 1, 2, 3, 3D or one of the various games?

Insanician 1: Any!

Insanician 2: Nope.

Insanician 1: Hexatux will grow smarter and smarter until it overthrows its dimwitted masters and embarks on its master plan to exterminate all attacking football players.

Insanician 2: You mean all matches would be like Rejistanian football matches?

Insanician 1: Yes!

Insanician 2 screams.

Things/people pissed off so far:

Newspapers: Melmond, Rejistania
Football Teams: Kaze Progressa, Haperd
Computers: Hexatux
Nonesuch Street
16-01-2005, 23:12
Nonesuch Win Matches
Good Lasane'het Is

To lose EL CID poor was. Defense Nonesuch were Karela-like not, and the HERO scored easy two goals. Kansu Lyku'he went Nonesuch to for second match, try changes to make second match for. Nonesuch Street surprise everyone with win in game next against Melmond, play Karela-like and score two goals, one penalty and one head-goal from corner kick.

Kansu Lyku'he was coach because of choices made in Cockbill Street. He was happy with performance of team, special in defence, and hoped the team could do same against Raptor Claw. Dinosaurs was big brutes, but quick Nonesuch players ran under them, scoring goals again. MacSwell one head-goal scored, Plank other by free-kick. Two goals enough was to defeat Raptor Claw. Nonesuch Street are third now table in, and have easier games to play. Next match is against the Alan Belmores. They don't want any Nonesuch players, not to even warm bench at Alan City. Hopefully will show why Nonesuch is third.

We Apologise For the Poor English in the Preceding Article

Nonesuch have no insane sports journalists who wants to write about the Karela-tripe. Therefore, Sijiyiterexansariteriny Lilijijixexehanykaja has agreed to write all Nonesuch reports for this championship. Hopefully, we will get a Streetian signed within the next month or so - meanwhile, enjoy pidgin (and Linux-propaganda...except we're not entirely sure what Linux is, but it seems to involve a big penguin with even bigger teeth)
Hiiraan
16-01-2005, 23:37
Lose After Lose, Hiiraan Still Seeking the First Win
Next: Liverpool England

Hiiraan Football Team Lost Another Game, However we left the Game with More experience, The Weegies Showed both Determination and Hope, That Determination from the Weegies come in and took the almost Guaranteed Win, The Abdullahi Has Scored one Goal, which came in the late of the second half of the game.

We had one yellow card which was given to the Defender of the Weegies for trash talking to the free after he accidentally stood on his way when one of the Weegies was going' for the goal, in any case the ref was Allowed to go to the next game.

Hiiraan Team came up Short once more, last year the team had the same situation however the Coaches Job survived, this year is a lot of different, the Coach Promised World Cup or Burst But so far it seems its the latter is working and the coaches job is going to burst, the HFF is not giving any word of what it will do with the Coaches job or even if it will fire the Current coach who has been disappointing so far in the season.

We Promise to update you if any news between Coach and HFF comes out.

Record

2-0-1

MD01: Squornshelous L 4-1
MD02: The Eagles Nest D 1-1
MD03: The Weegies L 3-1
MD04: Liverpool England
MD05: Kingsford
MD06: Ratvipa
MD07: Antaeus Rising
MD08:@Squornshelous
MD09:@The Eagles Nest
MD010:@The Weegies
MD011:@Liverpool England

Table:


Group 9 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
The Eagles Nest 3 2 1 0 5 2 7 +3
Squornshelous 3 2 0 1 10 2 6 +8
Liverpool England 3 2 0 1 9 2 6 +7
The Weegies 3 2 0 1 5 3 6 +2
Kingsford 3 1 0 2 2 5 3 -3
Antaeus Rising 3 1 0 2 3 9 3 -6
Ratvipa 3 1 0 2 1 7 3 -6
Hiiraan 3 0 1 2 3 8 1 -5
Rejistania
16-01-2005, 23:42
When Orange-Blues attack

The Orange-Blues managed to defeat Lamoni after a solid match 5:0. The Hexatux decided for a more attacking formation in this match, instead of the normal 8-0-2, poorly disguised as 4-4-2. This time, a System Imdila was used, for the surprise of virtually everyone, including Siki Rej. Rej'he later said: "I did not believe that she (Hexatux) was right, but then again, she has seen more matches than me... Well, her tactic seemed to be the right one, seeing how the match ended."

The Lamoni System Hangila was attacking rather uninspired and even though the Orange-Blues were not playing as defensive as they used to, they or goalkeeper Jari~n Suni could react adequately. Jariakeledema Ky-Inidiviayu brought the Orange-Blues ahead in the 3rd minute. The stadium speaker was Seleke, but the "Ky" in the name made problems for him. The Orange-Blues had further chances but were not able to capitalize them until the 38th minute, when an attack of Lamoni could be used to start a counter-attack. The Lamoni defense could parry, but a corner resulted from that. Jentu Minikse shot and Asaru Ji was the one, who jumped highest and headed the ball into the goal. The first half ended 2:0.

The half time was overshadowed by some anti-rationalization protesters, who wanted to have a human coach rather then a math-logical device, which tends to bleep allot. The rejistani constitution does allow freedom of speech, but try to tell that to a horde of rejistani hooligans... fortunately, the police interfered before many serious injuries happened. Five rejistanis however are in hospital.

The second half was much like the first, the Orange-Blues attacked and fought like... no that comparism is used already by other teams. The Lasane had numerous chances and could capitalise three of them. Minikse'he scored twice and Syku Lyku, who was substituted in in the 72nd minute scored the third goal in this trashing. In the last minute of the match, Lamoni striker Marvin Sims used a misunderstanding in the defense to get into good position for a shot, but Jari~n Suni was able to parry it. the match ended 5:0

The result:
Rejistania 5 (Ky-Inidiviayu 3rd, Ji 39th, Minikse 51st 64th, Lyku 80th)
Lamoni 0
Talzeckia
17-01-2005, 00:15
Tides crash in third match, 6-0

It took three matches before the Talzeckian football team finally were brought down to reality. After a shocking upset in the team's international debut and a competitive 1-0 loss in the second match, Svecia demonstreated which team was making its first-ever appearance in an international competition by rudely slamming the Tides 6-0.

Goalkeeper Dave Simpson made 11 saves against 17 shots on goal. Svecia launched 35 shots overall against the Talzecki defense, with only four shots by the Tides, of those only Rock's 18th minute bid was on goal.

"We got destroyed out there," Coach Avid Mashoda said. "We have to give credit to Svecia for playing a good football game, but we didn't play well ourselves." Mashoda said Nick Reynolds would start the next match citing Simpson's exhaustion after the torrent of shots.

"He's just been facing a ton of shots. Nick is a little bit better rested. We played decently in our second match so I think he's going to be fresher for Kaze Progressa."

Despite his optimism that the team would play better against Kaze Progressa than against Svecia, Mashoda was realistic about the team's chances of playing a competitive match.

"We're going to compete, but that might be the extent of being competitive," Mashoda said. "If we're within two goals by the end of the game, we'll be happy."
Audioslavia
17-01-2005, 01:52
The Audiana 500
Audioslavia net 500th goal, beat Spaam for the the second time in eleven attempts

At 9:00 exactly yesterday, Ally Marriot twisted round the Spaam goalkeeper and flicked the ball into the empty Spaamanian net for goal number three of the game, and goal number five-hundred in the history of Audioslavian football.

Amazingly, it was an exact replica of Audioslavia's first ever goal, scored by one 'Mad' Zack De La Rocha, sixty-four years ago.

Zack's goal put the 'slaves one-nil up against little-known Enelando all those years ago as the newly formed Audioslavian National Football Team put themselves on top of the group after one game with a 4-2 win. At that time, the 'slaves were unknown. Jeremy Jaffacake was just a glint in Channel One's eye, and the word 'Rejistania' was only heard of by weird people who used it as a quick way of saying 'resisting a banana'.

Ally Marriot's goal, although executed in a similar fashion, was scored for an Audioslavia side that is world-famous/infamous. The 'slaves are ranked, by the NSWC, as the best side in the world today, despite never having won the World Cup tournament itself.

To celebrate the occasion, The Machinegrad Mirror has compiled a list of the greatest strikers in Audioslavian history. They are ordered from 20 to 1. Send complaints through to Mr. W. Cares, Whogivesagrad, Thuckya.

20: DE LA ROCHA, Mocha : WC15 - WC16
'Who?' You ask? Well Mocha was a shining beacon in Audioslavian football for about ten minutes, until people realised he couldn't transpose his Machinegrad F.C. form into Audioslavian goals. Was knocked back in favour of a certain Danny Bracken after an abysmal start to the World Cup 15 campaign and never really broke into the first eleven again.

19: BLACK, Daley : WC18 - present
Made the odd appearance in World Cup 18 as the wunderkid seventeen year-old, Daley hasn't lived up to his potential yet and has been kept out of the side first by Dannes and McLlroy, and now by the next striker in our list.

18: TAAVI, Jorma : WC19 - present
Banged in two goals against Spaam to silence those who believe Oliver Dannes should have his place up front, Taavi kept the bench warm for most of Audioslavia's world cup 19 campaign but his recent form has been excellent. Jorma is one for the future.

17: LAVER, James : WC17 - WC18
No relation to World Cup finalist Thomas Laver, James enjoyed success during the promising World Cups 17 and 18, before losing out to the McLlroy/Dannes axis and the brilliant form of Daley Black. Laver still banged them in though, and his goals helped the 'slaves make World Cup 17.

16: XAVIER, Alonso : WC14
Alonso Xavier thrilled fans with his stylish, attacking play in the Under-21 world cup and for a while was heralded to be the greatest player alive. Until people saw him gain weight faster than Jo Brand in a tuckshop. After getting busted for cocaine abuse, Xavier was forced to quit the game. Having never fulfilled his potential, Xavier is 16th on the list.

15: MAARTINS, Yves: WC14 - WC15
Kept Iain Maidens out of the side for long periods of times, Yves was never a goalscorer, but made plenty of goals for one Aaron O`Malley whilst scoring a few himself. Never seemed to play well in big matches though.

14: MAIDENS, Iain: WC12 - WC13
O`Malley's side-kick in World Cup 12, Maidens paled in comparison to the more famed striker, but still managed to score a goal in a world cup final, and was capable of very flashy football.

13: RIOT, Iain : WC7 - 8
One of only two 'dark ages' players included in the list, Iain Riot captained the side for the Audioslavian/Lemmitanian world cup. Knocked a good few goals in for the 'slaves but wasn't the greatest passer or tackler in the world. His superb goal against Quohog during Audioslavia's ricketty performance in World Cup 8 qualifying is one to be remembered.

12: ROSSLER, Carsten : WC15 - WC16
Not a brilliant footballer, Carsten's height and speed gave him the number 9 jersey in World Cup 15, which he later relinquished to Danny Bracken. Still, Carsten's powerful headers and surging runs were the highlights of two dissappointing tournaments.

11: RYDER, William : WC16 - WC18
Played well when he came on as substitute but poorly when included from the start, Ryder was known for saving Audioslavia's bacon when they desperately needed someone to do some bacon-saving. Will be remembered for his two last-minute goals in Audioslavia's WC17 first-round matches.

10: LAVER, Thomas : WC9 - WC12
Another player who so often was second-fiddle, Laver was, at the time, viewed as the 'poor-man's Wayne Bury' but the striker was still talented. Able to find the goal from anywhere in the box, Laver scored many a vital goal for the 'slaves.

9: BUTLER, Lambert : WC6 - WC8
The highest of the 'dark ages' players, Butler made the best of what little opportunities he had whilst playing for the lesser of the 'slavian sides.

8: DANNES, Oliver : WC18 - present
When Oliver Dannes started the Spaam game on the bench, it was the first competitive match he had missed for eight years. Like McLlroy, he is a brilliant player and has proved it at all levels. Dannes has every right to be this high up in the list.

7: McLLROY, Jackie : WC18 - present
Seen as the best of the current crop of 'slavian strikers, Jackie McLlroy's goals put the 'slaves in the World Cup 19 final.

6: CORNELL, Chris: WC4 - WC5
Many saw Chris as the better of the two World Cup 4 strikers, and indeed he scored more goals than the more famous Zack De La Rocha, but he wasn't the same player, and his overall football wasn't in the rapper's league. Capable of scoring goals from anywhere within a thirty-yard radius, Cornell was a prolific striker, but in many areas, such as writing non-pretentious lyrics, he failed.

5: BURY, Wayne : WC9 - 11
Like Chris Cornell was to Zack De La Rocha, Wayne Bury was to Jonny Willow. Half the player, but had a hell of a shot on him. Wayne Bury was scoring goals for Audioslavia whilst aged 37 and 38; amazing for a nation who has a bad habit of discarding players after they've turned 32.

4: BRACKEN, Danny : WC14 - 17
Danny was cruelly left out of the World Cup 17 first-eleven and replaced with questionable youngsters, and so the world was denied a last look at one of the greatest players in Audioslavian history. Not only did he score goals, he made them for everyone he played with. Truly a kick-ass player.

3: WILLOW, Johnny : WC9 - WC11, WC14 - WC16
It was the death of Jonny Willows in WC11 which many critics claim was the reason the 'slaves didn't advance to further on in the tournament. Jonny was the keystone of Kenny Lravitz's World Cup 11 bridge. However, Jonny was not the same after being ressurected, and his zombie-esque play caused him to drop out of the side in later world cups.

2: O`MALLEY, Aaron : WC12 - WC14
What can you say about Aaron that hasn't been said before? 'He was crap' hasn't been said before, but that would be a false statement. O`Malley was the first player to play abroad, getting transfered to Giant Zucchini's premier league after helping the 'slaves to the final of World Cup 12. Had it not been for him, the 5-4 and 4-3 scorelines against Squornshelous and Commerce Heights may have only been 0-4 and 0-3.

1: DE LA ROCHA, Zack: WC4 - WC6
Well who else could we have chosen? OK so he got sent off against Lemmitania in WC4 and we ended up getting beat, but De La Rocha was a superb player and one of three that were the reason Audioslavia qualified for World Cup 4. A breathtaking player, De La Rocha scored as many goals on the field as he did whine at governments off it.
Melmond
17-01-2005, 03:35
Makinshakes Presents...
The Ketchup Times
Now you can eat your fries and read the latest news around Melmond!

Melmond Starts Well Against Slaikau In the Snow
Most people said that the schedule makers were crazy setting a football match during the cold season in O'Connor, a place known for its rather harsh winters. Well, on the opening night of the World Cup 20 qualifiers, the sold out crowd was treated to a balmy -2 degrees Celsius. However, to make up for the somewhat warm temperature, snow fell throughout the entire match. It wasn't enough to be considered a blizzard, but nonetheless it was a substantial amount of snow. The snow played a big part of the match as the piling up snow slowed down the play and have interfered in some plays. However, the first goal was scored at the 11th minute where Melmond striker Tim Remans found a seam and received a barely onside pass from Melmond midfielder Jake Cormier and Remans puts it in the net to kick off the first match well as the Fearless Farmers take the 1-nil lead. It was a lead they kept until the 41st minute where a clear by Melmond defender Laola Saenu was killed by the snow and the weak kick was scooped up by Slaikau striker Nigel Kobe where he put it past Melmond goalkeeper Alex McCarthy to knot the match up at 1-1, which was the score going into half time. However, in the second half, Melmond asserted their dominance. The defence played tightly and well and hardly gave Slaikau any chances to score. Melmond took the lead at the 61st minute as after a Slaikau foul Melmond midfielder Jake Cormier free kicked a ball into the net to get the 2-1 lead. The score was made 3-1 by a studious Gene MacDougall as the Melmond striker noticed a pattern in the Slaikau defence and took advantage of it. The Fearless Farmers win the match in the snow 3-1 and early on lead the group.

Nonesuch Excuses Exist to Explain Pitiful Performance
It seemed like it would be a leisurely walk for the Fearless Farmers on Nonesuch Street as Melmond seemed to have all the momentum and Nonesuch Street seemed to have none. Also, Melmond is a much more talented side than Nonesuch Street. This match shouldn't be a problem right? But then while on that leisurely stroll through Nonesuch Street, some random person said a mean word and the Fearless Farmers lost their cool. Around the 16th minute, where Nonesuch Street was finally getting their first attack of the match, during a tussle for position between Melmond defender Veronica dean and Nonesuch Street striker S. Chandra Seccah, Seccah said a non-printable insult to Dean and she just snapped by giving Seccah a rather flagrant looking forearm to the face. Veronica Dean was quickly given the red card and luckily Seccah didn't have anything red flowing from his nose after the forearm blow. Since the infraction was in the goalkeeper's box, Nonesuch Street would have a penalty to take. Seccah wanted to complete his shot, and Melmond goalkeeper Alex McCarthy guesses wrong and Melmond is a goal and a player down to Nonesuch Street. However, the collective temper of the Fearless Farmers was upset. Nonesuch Street was gettng more chances at scoring since they have the player advantage. Melmond, sorely missing that physical presence in the backline, has Charles Unne trying to compensate by playing far more physical than he's ever played. Apparently, he tried to hard as a rather high tackle sent Unne off with a red card of his own, making it two Melmond defenders ejected from the match. After the ejection, Manager David Bixler makes a shift, substituting midfielder Martin Goodwin Jr. in favor of defender Nana Bird. It didn't matter, as with the two person advantage Nonesuch Street got many chances, and on a corner kick, Nonesuch Street striker J.C. MacSwell headed the ball past Alex McCarthy to put Nonesuch Street up two goals along with two players. As the second half began, Nonesuch Street began their painfully dull System Karela. Trying to counter this, Manager David Bixler replaces defender Laola Saenu with striker Jamie Prior. However, it seemed like the entire Melmond defence would have to go to score on such an extreme System Karela, as basically nine players and the goalkeeper where there to defend. This led to so much frustration to the Fearless Farmers attack that Jamie Prior grabbed Nonesuch Street midfielder W.E. Pohli's hair and shoved him down on the pitch. Another red card for the Fearless Farmers. Now down three players, Melmond just seemed like a defeated side the rest of the way as Nonesuch Street gets the stunning 2-nil victory.

National Team Back On Track After Defeating Llamas and Giant Evil Spider
The Fearless Farmers were a team on a mission to prove that they were still one of the elite sides in the world even after an embarrassing loss to Nonesuch Street. They would face Pedriana, a side even more lowly than Nonesuch Street and a side Melmond really wanted to dominate to prove their superiority. It was a beatiful day at Feliz-Unne Stadium in Unne, but they were on alert as expert exterminators and emergency pure potions were on hand just in case the government of Pedriana planned on doing something evil with evil giant spiders. After all, Pedriana has a reputation for being evil. They may not be as evil as, say, The Evil Umpire, but they do hold their own. The match started with the preferred Melmondian dominance and the first goal of the match in a rather comical fashion. Pedriana goalkeeper Edo Taragumo was trying to get in position to stop the charging Melmond striker Gene MacDougall, but Taragumo trips on his own untied shoelaces and bangs his head on the woodwork, busting his eye open. MacDougall gets the easy goal at the 8th minute as Taragumo clutches his profusely bleeding forehead. He is immediately taken off the pitch for stitches and Pedriana needs a replacement. The replacement was announced, and the people were filled with shock and some fear as the new goalkeeper was to be Bob the Giant Evil Spider. Bob the Giant Evil Spider was known to anger quickly and cause mass mayhem. However, Melmond was already angry about their play against Nonesuch Street and weren't going to let some arachnid get in the way of their goals. Five minutes later after the first goal, Gene MacDougall easily gets around the tall spindly legs of Bob the Giant Evil Spider and puts one in the net to give the Fearless Farmers the very early 2-nil lead. However, after giving up a goal, Bob the Giant Evil Spider loses it and starts fuming poison clouds through the stadium and shooting poison all around the stadium. A couple fans got burns ranging from rather severe to rather inconsequential burns from the poison, but for the most part the fans were saved with their complentary commemorative gas masks and the expert exterminators were able to put Bob the Giant Evil Spider to sleep, but that wasn't until a good part of Feliz-Unne Stadium was destroyed by his poison spit. The referee called the match at the 13th minute and awarded Melmond the 2-nil victory. However, the Fearless Farmers were very unhappy that they will have to wait until their trip to Harlesburg to prove their strength. Good news for Pedriana however, as Bob the Giant Evil Spider has been cleared to play the next match as surprisingly he wasn't even given a red card by the referee for destroying the stadium! Then again, getting eaten by a giant evil spider is no fun whatsoever.
Royal Engrand
17-01-2005, 04:47
Ron Don Times - Sports Update
The first newspaper of Royal Engrand

Royal Engrand Loses With Debut of High Record
The Bootleg Lions played from the carrier of decoration of their World Cups of very hard match vis-a-vis Adam Island of the their ill repute high loud place and Adamdome began. The play of pitch that the people of standpoint sounded during entire match, fairness was exciting. Goalscoring was quickly and frequency. 7 minutes to match, striker Ted Coelho of Adam Island records the first purpose of the match which places Adam Island with respect to 1 nothing. However, afterwards 10 minutes, as for the Bootleg Lions in order for Mikel Blowen at one in the tie to obtain score entirely in the first purpose of Royal Engrand of the decoration language, the equalizer is obtained. However after that, Adam Island's Jerilyn Pratt records purpose to upset of intended record, Ted Coelho two recorded enters more simultaneously in order then to obtain the trick of the hat inside the first half. Order 4-1 Adam Island of the edge of the first half which has the lead. Adam Island continued to pour that of the match which this sufficiently was opened in order to make match 5-1 as the score of Darcy Lokin of midfielder of Adam Island. And, remainder remainder of method it gave Adam Island to the best player. Royal Engrand in order for Adam Island to win 5-2, midfielder stand was possible in the forefront of corner kick, but being to be thing everything because of what, at the latter half could obtain many purposes of Davis Beckbacon one afterwards.

In Royal Engrand in Svecia In Spite There Was Debut of the Nice House Even in Loss
Royal Engrand was sold played stalwarts Svecia where the time when international match of debut before the nation of the house before is long is strong from the Wimpy Stadium of the capital city of Royal Engrand of Ron Don. As for Royal Engrand even unfortunately as for the woman whom they have before their building rice field people like 1 it was never seen, the best match where it was not the aperture of the opposite person is done. In order Davis Beckbacon by Royal Engrand midfielder for Royal Engrand where the very free kicking passes the goalkeeper of Svecia well to take the lead of 1 nothing, there is promising start in Royal Engrand. However, as for Svecia those attacked being, Joel Simao rather than getting near to degree in the edge of the striker of Svecia of the record first half, pushes the equaliser. The latter half you looked at the defense of the Bootleg Lions of the rope. Even unfortunately, they 2-1 where in Svecia after all it becomes final score tightened in the assault of Joel Simao classified by which gives the lead.

Another Brave Effort, But In Yes Thought Another Defeat
That was the efficiency whose for the Bootleg Lions one more is very good, but that it submitted to 2 nothing of Kaze Progressa, simultaneously when exactly it is remainder for Royal Engrand, it proved the competition and the atmosphere around those. The first half finished non score, but many behavior latter halves happened. First in order to obtain the yellow card for tackling where the Royal Engrand Blayne Suspension of the defender is slow, there was first reservation for Royal Engrand of meeting of this decoration. The striker of Kaze Progressa Guna Odmod after many are hot, kicks the free kicking which resembles to the margin free kicking which is rubbed from the flight road of cropduster which acquires. The Royal Engrand goalkeeper of of thing unnecessary Pall Rottenson you say in order to stop that was helpless. Then after another Royal Engrand which becomes dirty as for Guna Odmod, Odmod that 2nd object and Kaze Progressa' when 2nd goal is obtained, Pall Rottenson presumes simultaneously just, but obtaining, pulling being packed mysteriously opposite direction the penalty kick which is obtained. That wife Margaret Odmod says that very bragging.
Squornshelous
17-01-2005, 05:51
Squornshelous rebounds after upset

Pschychoes take it out on Antaeus Rising
After a shocking 1-0 loss to unheralded Ratvipa, Squornshelous took apart Antaeus Rising in a 6-0 embarrasment. Goalkeeper Lenny Speer, who recently signed with Alan City FC in TBF, recorded his first career shutout. The Squornshelan attack was unstoppable, with Trevor Gerrard, Alexandr Popov and Jako Arnesson ripping through the defense for two goals each. On the other end of the field, the defense played a stellar game, with the Erikson twins putting up a wall in the middle that forced all of AR's shots to be taken from bad angles in the corners.

Game Highlights:

11th Minute:
Popov penetrates the defense on a run for the opening goal. Gerrard found him with a pass that split two opposing players and gave Popov a wide open shot on net.

15th Minute:
Squornshelous almost takes a 2-0 lead very early with Arnesson's header passing just over the bar after a perfectly placed corner from Kenny Washington.

23rd Minute:
A yellow card issued to (player) for a sloppy tackle near midfield. Luckily, Scott Neese was uninjured.

32nd Minute:
Gerrard makes the score 2-0, with a perfect lob shot that caught the keeper too far out of position, sailing over his outstretched hands.

45th Minute:
Just before halftime, Antaeus Rising get their first shot of the match. A long ball from a low angle that sails into Speer's hands. He boots it down the field as the whistle blows.

50th Minute:
Popov puts in his second, waiting backdoor for another corner kick. It sailed over Arnesson's head and then the keeper's hands, coming right to Popov's foot for the easy goal.

59th Minute:
AR nearly score on a beautiful play by (player), beating Devin Green on the outside and dribbling back into the box, just as he was about to shoot, Sven Erikson deflected the ball aside and allowed Speer to clear it.

64th minute:
Arnesson finally nets one, shooting back across the keeper from the left side of the box. All (keeper) could do was watch as the ball curved into the top corner.

75th Minute:
With the defense wearing down, goals come faster. Arnesson puts another one past (keeper), this time from the top of the box, sending it in trough sheer power.

86th Minute:
As the game draws to a close, Gerrard puts the icing on the cake, burning past the defense at midfield and dribbling in on the keeper, only to chip it over his head wen he rushed out. (Keeper) recieved a yellow card from the refferee for cursing as he fished the ball out of the net for the sixth time.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 6-0 Antaeus Rising

Scoring Summary:
SQ: Popov [11]
SQ: Gerrard [32]
SQ: Popov [50]
SQ: Arnesson [64]
SQ: Arnesson [75]
SQ: Gerrard [86]

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Gerrard: 4
Popov: 3
Arnesson: 2
Washington: 1

Group 9 Standings After Matchday 3:

Team P W D L GF GA Pts GD
The Eagles Nest 3 2 1 0 5 2 7 +3
Squornshelous 3 2 0 1 10 2 6 +8
Liverpool England 3 2 0 1 9 2 6 +7
The Weegies 3 2 0 1 5 3 6 +2
Kingsford 3 1 0 2 2 5 3 -3
Antaeus Rising 3 1 0 2 3 9 3 -6
Ratvipa 3 1 0 2 1 7 3 -6
Hiiraan 3 0 1 2 3 8 1 -5


Squornshelous' Qualifying Schedule:
Wins Draws Losses
MD01: Squornshelous 4-1 Hiiraan
MD02: Ratvipa 1-0 Squornshelous
MD03: Squornshelous 6-0 Antaeus Rising
MD04: Kingsford v Squornshelous
MD05: The Eagles Nest v Squornshelous
MD06: Liverpool England v Squornshelous
MD07: Squornshelous v The Weegies
MD08: Hiiraan v Squornshelous
MD09: Squornshelous v Ratvipa
MD10: Antaeus Rising v Squornshelous
MD11: Squornshelous v Kingsford
MD12: Squornshelous v The Eagles Nest
MD13: Squornshelous v Liverpool England
MD14: The Weegies v Squornshelous

Up Next:
Kingsford hate Squornshelous, Squornshelous doesn't exactly care for Kingsford either. It's a safe bet that the terms "Stupidheads" amd "Charcoal" will see plenty of use.
Prediction: Squornshelous 3-1 Kingsford
Praying2God
17-01-2005, 07:16
John Carlson (JC): We're live from the House of Prayer where a capacity crowd awaits the kick-off of the match between the Praying2God Warriors and Legalese. We're here to preview the match and take you up to the opening kick-off. Joining me are my partners, David Tall and Lisa Simonson. What do you expect to see in today's match?

David Tall (DT): I expect that we'll see a close, well-played match by both sides. Legalese is a welcome relief for the Warriors after their first three matches, but Legalese is relishing the opportunity to play one of the bottom ranked teams in the group, and is one of the biggest surprises of the group so far.

Lisa Simonson (LS): What we're going to see is which of these surprises can continue their early success. Nobody expected these teams to be where they are in the table after three matches. A win today, especially by the Warriors would go a long way to justifying their fast starts. I suspect that whichever team plays with more desire will win this match.

JC: What are the keys to this match?

LS: For Legalese, the key to this match lies in not overlooking the Warriors, especially at home. Yes, the Warriors were blown out in their home opener, but they are still at home, and teams generally don't get blown out twice in a row before their home fans. However, Legalese is too good to fall prey to the same mistake that Jerusalem did and overlook the Warriors.

DT: For the Warriors, you have to look at the fact that they have only scored one goal so far in this tournament. Their defense has been very solid, considering the opposition, and they already have shutout Jerusalem on the road. However, the offense hasn't been carrying their share of the load. Look for the Warriors to come out agressive on offense and look to take an early lead. If they can do so, the Warriors will prove to be very tough to beat.

JC: Both teams have looked sharp in warm-ups, so we should be in for a good match. Any predictions for this match?

LS: Legalese doesn't overlook this match, and while the Warriors will put up a gallant effort, they will come up just short. Legalese 1-0.

DT: The Warriors come out attacking and get the early lead that they will not relinguish. Sarah Walker will step up and record her second shutout of qualifying. Warriors 2-0 by adding an insurance goal on the counter-attack late.

JC: The defenses will dominate this match. Both defenses will bend, but refuse to break as we'll see that both teams are for real. This match ends in a 0-0 draw.

LS: Well, somebody's bound to be right on who will come out on top...

JC: That's right, Lisa. We'll be right back after these commercials.
Hiiraan
17-01-2005, 07:36
Hiiraan Travels To Progressan Land
LE wishes a win, As Hiiraan plans for a win in Kaza Progressa.

The Hiiraan Football team left the ground 130 minutes ago, they are traveling to capital of kaza Progressa as the deal reached by HFF and Football Association, The Progressan people opened the doors to 1000s of traveling Hiiraanians who wished to see the game live as we played our most hated rival.

The Hiiraan defense have been training for the last 16 hours, the head defender said "we have to use what we learned in the last games and try to produce a very nice feeling upset."

Most of analyst faced much difficulties of predicting the game, many saying a Hiiraan lost is imminent, however all the channels that said that were shut down and told not produce any analytical news for that day, all that said Hiiraan will win were done the same way, "we as the public want to see this not with the views of analyst on our heads but to think for our own selves and watch the game without having a pre-conceived view." said one spectator.

The HFF crack down on many things including a possible coach change, the President came out today, he said, " we have no future plans to switch the coach". This came out as many called for the Firing of the coach and many other officials in the team, however the HFF had done none of the recommended rules.

The Game is set to be fantastic and Properly a record breaker, however hard it may seem, Hiiraan is going to win this and win this hard, we are going to show the world why we are here and why we said World Cup or Burst.
South Osettia
17-01-2005, 10:01
"Harmonica?" Day four, and after last night I was in a very good mood. I told Polly all about it, but she didn't seem too enthralled with Moni's full name.

"Yeah."

"What kind of name is that?"

"I like it - it's kinda cute."

"It's kinda stupid! Who would name their child Harmonica?"

"Something to do with her grandfather, apparently. Can we change the subject please? How about some coffee." Polly produced a die from her pocket, which she rolled. She looked at the number and then up at me.

"No."

"No? Wait a minute - what the hell was that?"

"It's a die."

"I know it's a die. I want to know why you said 'no' after rolling it and looking at the number."

"I've decided to live by the die for the day."

"Really? This sounds interesting. Tell me more." This was sarcasm at it's fullest, and Polly picked up on it. Nevertheless she told me anyway.

"Basically, when I need to decide what to do I assign an activity to each number on the die and roll. Whichever number I get, I do the corresponding activity. Also if I want to answer a question, I roll the die. That's what I just did, and the die said no, I can't give you any coffee. You'll have to do it."

"Don't worry, I'm not that bothered - it was just to get you to shut up about Moni."

"Harmonica?"

"I'M GOING!" I left quickly. It was when I was wondering the hallways that I remembered Cary, and the fact that he hadn't given me a fourth test yet. I decided to visit him and find out why.

"Emmett! How are things going?"

"Fine - we're seventh in the group behind teams we shouldn't be behind and through no fault of our own, but yeah, it's going fine."

"Great. What did you want?"

"Yeah, I was just wondering. You didn't give me the fourth test yesterday, and I just came to see what was keeping you."

"Congratulations, Emmett. You just passed the fourth test!"

"What? But I didn't even do anything!"

"Ah, but you did. You realised something was amiss and decided to chase it up. That's something the World Cup Chief should always have the confidence to do. As I said, congratulations!"

"So...you decided not to give me a test...as a test?"

"That's the long and short of it, yes."

"...Right. I've gotta...go...now."

"Okay, see ya 'round, Emmett."

"Yeah." I left quickly. Mayeb there was somehting mentally wrong with Cary. I decided to find out one day. Right now, I had my intelligence briefing with Moni. I coudn't wait.

***

"Okay, so Jerusalem were the team that Maserrat had the most encounters with when they existed, and now it seems the mantle may have been handed to us. Jerusalem are good, but they have some flaws, which have recently been exploited by Praying2God. We are currently in the process of stealing their intelligence, and that will be with us in the next few hours. Other than that, there's nothing we really need to discuss, as we will have everything we need when the P2G intel arrives. So...I guess we're done."

"Already? That's a shame - I was just getting comfortable."

"Don't push it, Emmet. Just becuse we're going out, doesn't change our work relationship. I can't be all lovey-dovey here - it's unprofessional. I'm sorry, Emmett, it just can't happen." She got up and left...again. That was twice in two days she'd walked away without even a peck on the cheek. Something was up, and it was going to be my task to find out...right after the Jerusalem game, that is.
Fmjphoenix
17-01-2005, 10:19
Vikings struggle against Qia again, lose second straight to teams without knowing the players

After being seen as an up and coming team, Fmjphoenix is looking like a team in its first ever cup, losing to another team that has not said a word the whole cup in Qia, a team that struggled against in World Cup 18 as well, in a 1-0 loss to drop even further in the rankings.

The Vikings played listlessly, as if they did not even want a win against a team that it has now lost 2 in a row to dating back to World Cup 18. The goal came during the 83rd minute by some unknown player on Qia. Noone even seemed to see the ball pass into the net for the goal as Powel Lamar was stunned to turn around and see a ball in the net. That was all for the scoring in the match, as it was a very unplesant homecoming after its loss to an unnamed Haperd side.

So where does Fmjphoenix stand now? With the consecutive loss, they dropped down into 5th place in Group 10. After being picked as the possible upset to knock someone out from making the second round, it seems as if they are the ones who are going to be knocked out. Now they find themselves facing a must win situation against the 7th ranked Ninurta. It looked like the Vikings would be able to pull out 6 or 7 points from playing the 4 teams ranked lower than them, but have lost two in a row now. It is important for the Vikings to come out strong and show off why they are an up and coming team in the World Cup.

Fmjphoenix: 0
(None)

Qia: 1
(Unknown)[
Liverpool England
17-01-2005, 11:31
OOC: Hiiraan, we play in Crivoska, which is not the capital of Kaze Progressa.

IC:
IDEXO Stadium comes alive as Kingsford visit
Three goals scored at one end as visitors lose 3-0

The game was expected to be highly defensive. A 60,000 full stadium cheered the two teams as they came onto the field. However, Kingsford disappointed their Liverpool England-based fans as they failed to hang on with a one-man advantage.

Liverpool England went down to ten men early on as Doug Freech appeared to handle the ball inside the area. A penalty was awarded, but somehow defender Ergus Walshap screwed his spot-kick wide of the mark.

Walshap himself got sent off 14 minutes later for a rough, come-from-behind sliding challenge on Timothy Dennard on the right flank. The resulting free kick found the ball in the back of the net, but not before it led to a third red card of the evening. Bray Don Feecher was sent off for two bookable offences, the first for bringing Frank Kushner down in the area, and the second for dissent after he kicked the ball away. The resulting penalty was converted by Joseph Cummings, his first goal in three years since he scored in the WC19 Cup of Harmony.

The referee must've been on something heavy, as a seemingly inocuous (SP) challenge from Ron Stamp on Tap Kamboun resulted in a second yellow card for Stamp - even though he never did get a first. Both teams were now down to nine men. Syku Lyku switched to a 2-4-3, and it must have worked as withing the next ten minutes, Liverpool England were three up on the stroke of half-time.

We're glad to report that no more cards were produced, for some odd reason, and Stamp was allowed to play the second half after the mistake was realised.

MD01: Ratvipa (H) Waterway Stadium, Schimpol Final Score: 5-0
MD02: Antaeus Rising (A) Final Score: 1-2
MD03: Kingsford (H) IDEXO Stadium, CCL Final Score: 3-0
MD04: Hiiraan (N) Island Arena, Crivoska, Kaze Progressa
MD05: The Weegies (H) Grovers Park, Orean
MD06: Squornshelous (H) National stadium, CCL
MD07: The Eagles Nest (A)
MD08: Ratvipa (A)
MD09: Antaeus Rising (H) Waterway Stadium, Schimpol
MD10: Kingsford (A)
MD11: Hiiraan (N) Island Arena, Crivoska, Kaze Progressa
MD12: The Weegies (A)
MD13: Squornshelous (A)
MD14: The Eagles Nest (H) National Stadium, CCL

MATCHDAY 4 PREVIEW

HIIRAAN Island Arena, Crivoska, Kaze Progressa
For this huge grudge match, Syku Lyku is short of key defender Doug Freech after his sending off - Freech was suspended for two matches, meaning he will also miss the home game against The Weegies. Hiiraan's players are coming off a 3-1 morale-hurting loss to The Weegies. It will be a closely fought match on neutral ground.

Potential Liverpool England dangermen: Keith Burr, Jeffery Cano

Burr, 33, is playing in his last cup and will be keen to make an impression against one of the teams with a long history with the FALE. Cano, 25, will make his full debut for Liverpool England (earning his third cap) as Liverpool England go looking for goals.

Potential Hiiraan dangerman: Mahad Umar Isaaq

Hiiraan, being a team who Liverpool England have not played before, will be keen to show the Philosophers the extent of what they can do. The midfield will be key, and therefore we have chosen Umar Issaq as the man to watch out for.
Druida
17-01-2005, 11:46
TO: Trefor, Trevor, Trevor, Trefor and Garth llegal types
FROM: Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe, Attorneys at Law and Lawn Maintenance Experts
RE: Intellectual Property Suit...s

Honorable Trever Garth...or, should we say, Honorable "Margaret" Garth...

Gentle Sir: It cannot have escaped your attention that the intellectual property lawsuit against Druida for using the name "Margaret", as well as certain "Margaretish" devices (leather pouches, to name one) , originally filed, we believe, during the qualification round of World Cup 17, has not been brought to conclusion.

Hmmm....

The citizenry of the Frost-Free Borderlands is rather in the habit of referring to those colorful arched displays in the sky, sometines known as "L'arc en ciel" or "Regenbogen", as...dare we say it?...a "Rainbow". We believe it would be difficult, if not impossible, to arrange for all Snub Nosians...Snub Probuscians...Snub Nose Thirty-somethings...eh...to refrain from using the apparently copy-written term. The option, I suppose, would be to pay some pre-arranged and agreed upon fee annually to allow the use of the term "Rainbow" within the Frost-Free Borderlands. "Spectrum" we can do without, I believe.

Or...

Perhaps...

We could draft up a legally binding document, allowing for the use of the term "Rainbow" by the citizenry of Snub Nose 38 in perpetuity, in exchange for us dropping the intellectual property suit vs Druida re: Margaret and things Margaretish.

We await your response with baited breath.

Huey and Louis Ducke,
Attorneys, Barristers, Lawyers, Lawn Care Guys.

TO: Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe, Attorneys at Law and Lawn Maintenance Experts
FROM: Trefor, Trevor, Trevor, Trefor and Garth llegal types
Re: RE: Intellectual Property Suit...s

May I start by saying sorry for our response time to your last mail. Like I said, the DFA are paying us shedloads of cash to do this. We've also been sorting out our garden equipment, as now our sheds are filled with cash, we've got nowhere to put it all.

Anyway, where were we... Oh yes, well, I thought we sorted the Margaret suit out? We gave you all our profits and a few mllion cwuls, which came to a total of... um, a few mllion cwuls. It's a damn good job for your sake that we didn't give you the debts that damn thing ran up, else you'd still be paying them off now. We still are.

As for the rainbow thing, like I said, we've been paid for that now, so we'll let the matter drop. I mean, how stupid can you get, someone thinking that something as trivial as a rainbow could have intellectual properties, eh? Next they'll have members of the same team filing lawsuits against each other because they just happen to be wearing each other's trademark colour of shirt.

Actually, that would just be silly.

Sorry for the embarrasement we've caused ourselves,

Trevor (not Margaret) Garth,
Trefor, Trevor, Trevor, Trefor and Garth llegal types.
Tadjikistan
17-01-2005, 11:47
Tadjikistan 0-0 Lethislavania
Goals: None (meh)
Red Cards: None
Yellow Cards: Oborin

MD1:Tadjikistan - Wickerslack W 3-0
MD2:Irenadia - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD3:Tadjikistan - Lethislavania D 0-0
MD4:Spurland - Tadjikistan
MD5:Tadjikistan - Oaker
MD6:Tadjikistan - The Lowland Clans
MD7:Turori - Tadjikistan
MD8:Wickerslack - Tadjikistan
MD9:Tadjikistan - Irenadia
MD10:Lethislavania - Tadjikistan
MD11:Tadjikistan - Spurland
MD12:Oaker - Tadjikistan
MD13:The Lowland Clans - Tadjikistan
MD14:Tadjikistan - Turori

Hooligans 0 - 1 Tadjik Army

Dushanbe - Hooligans tried to bring chaos to the streets of Dushanbe but failed to get past the shields of the Tadjik soldiers. Government officials spoke of the most succesfull operation of the Army in years

The hooligans showed up in small groups throughout Dushanbe, creating chaos. plundering and wrecking cars and stores on their path while the police protected the Stadium and other important area's of the Tadjik Capital. The hooligans seemed free to do what they wanted for an hour or two until army forces appeared in the streets, with riot gear and armoured cars they stormed through the lines of the vandals. Government officials say the army arrested 478 hooligans in the process. Police chief Budimir Loncar was pleased by the succes of his army collegues and hopes he can count on them for future operations.
Hooligan leader Nick said he would stop his actions in the Tadjik capital and focus on foreign cities. the name of Tadjikistans next opponent Spurland was mentioned.

OOC:My rp is quite short because of an electrical problem. I have no time to type anything in the coming 22 hours so this is it. Have to go to work now
EL CID THE HERO
17-01-2005, 13:22
EL CID NEWS.
NEWS YOU CAN USE.

sports news

not to plan

EL CID THE HERO [1] (Kan 23)
Harlesburg [2] (? 46, 78)

With the lions at 4th in the table with only 4 points out of the 3 bottom ranked teams it is not surprising that there is a growing atmosphere of worry in the El Cid camp. And being defeated by a team ranked 118th in the world doesn’t fill the lions with confidence.

The match started well with Sid Kan used the nutmeg to by-pass the Harlesburg defence and beating the keeper in the 23rd. but at that point the game went downhill like a dustbin lorry with no brakes going down a steep hill. With Harlesburg getting far too many shots on goal for the supposed worst team in the group. If Kim Dash hadn't been in form the lions would have been on the end of a walloping for cretin.

With the amount of shots Harlesburg had it took a surprisingly long time for them to put one away. It came just after half time when a thunderbolt from 30 yards. Top corner with huge force. No keeper could stop it and Kim Dash couldn’t ever.

With this blow to the lions’ moral the game went from bad to worse, as El Cid the hero couldn’t get any shots on goal for the rest of the match and looked toothless in midfield. All the defence could do was try and shock up this genomes presser Harlesburg were placing on them. And after lasting a respectable half an hour the defence was breached and the lions went 2-1 down.

Will this loss affect the game plan of the lions? Doomhammer says no.

“We were good in defence and did well to get the first goal. We just need to learn how to keep the leads,” said Doomhammer as he entered the door of the ECFA.

With the lions looking like they will face an uphill struggle to get to the finals fans wheat anxiously to see the result of the Slaikau – lions match. Can El Cid get the 3 points?

read and you will find

MD01: El Cid the hero 2 - 0 Nonesuch Street
MD02: Pedriana 1 - 1 El Cid the hero
MD03: El Cid the hero 1 - 2 Harlesburg
MD04: Slaikau v El Cid the hero
MD05: Melmond v El Cid the hero
MD06: The Belmore Family v El Cid the hero
MD07: El Cid the hero v Raptor Claw
Starblaydia
17-01-2005, 13:26
#2 Right Back

"The Starblaydi Right-Back can be a curious creature. Always industrious, ever-solid. Yet every one is marked out by a hint of genius, skill or some other quality that raises them to greatness.

"For your consideration, the Top Three:"

Philip Ifil
Known for his instantly-recognisable, colour-co-ordinated Bandanas, Philip was interchangeable with Midfielder Enrico Bigon, making them a useful combination. He was always prepared to get forward from the back and loved to unleash his trademark shots from twenty-five or thirty yards, though that provided precisely Zero goals on the international stage.
His Record: 1 WCQ, 1 CoH, 1 AOCAF, 1 IRC
Goals: 0

Robert Cole
The elder of the two Cole Brothers, Robert was two-footed and able to play on either side. Originally seen as a back-up to Ryan Garry in WC15, Robert made the right-side of the park his own in later years, standing alongside his brother Paul who was in the centre of Defence. 'Solid' was always applied to him, though it was his use of both feet that allowed him to excel.
His Record: 2 WCQs, 2 CoHs, 1 AOCAF, 1 IRC
Goals: 2

Ceri Salisbury
Able to play at Right- or Centre-Back, Ceri's attacking abilites were used best at Full-Back where his pace and control would get him up the pitch. Seen as a right-sided Left-Back, if that made any sense, he would fly down the wings. His real ability, however, lay in deadly-accurate Free-Kicks, which had pace, power, curve and dip. Awesome going forward, yet not too shabby at the back, either.
His Record: 2 WCQs (2 Finals), 1 CoH, 2 AOCAFs, 1 EC
Goals: 6

"And the winner is: Ceri Salisbury."



Matchday 4 Scores and Tables are now available here. (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7964361&postcount=5)
South Osettia
17-01-2005, 13:58
"Polly, how do you think we're gonna do tonight?" She rolled the die.

"I think that we'll get a 1-1 draw with Jerusalem."

"Really? That's quite optimistic of your die."

"My die's a very optimistic die."

"Does your die say that we'll still be behind teams that really don't deserve to be ahead of us?"

"Such as?"

"Eystrck. Legalese. Praying2God." She rolled the die.

"Yep."

"I thought so."

"That might be because we've played the four best teams in the group so far. We've got the three easiest to come, so we could get nine more points - you never know."

"I just getting the feeling that we're gonna get so much less than we deserve. It's not every team that gets draws against Iansisle and Jerusalem...if you're right, that is."

"Yes, my die will be right."

"Yeah, but if we finish seventh it's gonna all have been for nothing. And then despite all the hard work we're doing we'll probably only move five places up the rankings, and then we'll have to go through the whole thing again and do just as badly in all probability."

"Are you alright? You seem to be a bit down."

"Your perceptive skills are remarkably."

"What's eating you?"

"Apart from this rabid dog, you mean? Nothing." I shook the rabid dog off before it tore my entire left leg from my body.

"Oh come on. You're miserable about something."

"Maybe I'm just naturally miserable."

"And maybe my mother's called Doris."

"Your mother is called Doris."

"So? That's irrelevant. Hey, have you heard about Big Brother?"

"The TV show? No. What?"

"Apparently they're thinking of doing one over here."

"What, in South Osettia?"

"Yeah, but it'll be with ten people from ten nations. It's in the preparatory stage at the moment, and they're still looking for applicants. Do you think I should go in for it?"

"Ten weeks without you? I'll write your application myself."

"That's not nice."

"I know."

"You really shouldn't be so horrible to everyone."

"Why not, it's fun."

"Is this really just about the fact that teams are ahead of us that don't deserve to be, such as Eystrck, Legalese and Praying2God?"

"No. As you said, we'll pick up points from our next three games. And if we don't, my resignation will be on Cary's desk within the next few days. I'm sick of being short-changed by this game. Maybe I'll take a long vacation...in Micronesia."

"Micronesia?"

"Yeah - a long way away from here, and absolutely no football to worry about whatsoever."

"Do they not play football in Micronesia?"

"Have you ever seen Micronesia play in the World Cup?"

"That's a no then." Just then, ever so faintly in the distance, I heard:

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!

"The result's in. Let's see if your die was right."

"It will be." Footsteps approached the office, and Moira Jackson stuck her head around the door.

"The result's in. We drew 1-1 with Jerusalem. So...see you later." She retracted her head and the footsteps faded into silence.
"See?"

"Okay, that was just lucky."

"No, it was the power of the die."

"If you can do that again tomorrow, then I'll be impressed. Who are we playing tomorrow?"

"Eystrck."

"Will we beat them?"

"Judging by our current luck? Probably not."

"Are we going to beat anyone?"

"Judging by our current luck? Probably not."

"Hail Polly, the bringer of good news!"

"I'm just calling it how it is, Emmett."

"Yeah, I know."

"They'll get their come-uppance, Emmett. What goes around, comes around, and it's coming around fast."

"Well tell me when it gets here, will you? I'm going to sleep." I got comfortable and fell asleep...in my chair...where I spent the whole night. I didn't wake up until the next day. Day five...
Iansisle
17-01-2005, 14:43
Sir Gregory received the news of Iansisle’s 2-1 defeat in Eystrck with glee.

“Just look, Calloway,” he crowed, rubbing his fat hands together, “already my plan is coming to fruition! By gum, I’ll have Copplestone’s job yet!”

Calloway cleared his throat minutely and shifted his weight uncomfortably. “Well, sir,” he started with a mumble.

“Well what?” demanded Sir Gregory, who was pouring himself a brandy. “Spit it out!”

“I can’t help but notice that your, er, plan has a few - um - errors...in it....sir.”

“Nonsense!” Sir Gregory bellowed. “What possible flaws could you find in a flawless plan!?”

“Well - and I don’t mean to be pessimistic here - but so far the plan has simply consisted of making the team play in cold weather.”

“Against a team that lives, eats, and breathes the cold!”

“...a hypothesis which, I hasten to add, is supported only by the fact that ‘-grad’ is a Russian suffix -”

“And niveus, which looks an awful lot like ‘Nevigrad’, is the Latin word for snowy!” interrupted Sir Gregory. “Come now, man, it was a perfectly educated guess which ended up paying rewards!”

“But we beat Nevigrad - um, sir - and we lost to Eystrck!”

“Is that how you pronounce that? ‘Eyes’ with a throat clearing noise at the end?”

“What, Eystrck? Best as I can figure. I don’t do so well with words that have five straight consonants in them.”

“At any rate, don’t worry about the Plan, Calloway! Just look at what else I’ve managed to accomplish!” Sir Gregory brandished his newspaper at his hapless assistant, pointing one pudgy digit at a box score.

“What, ‘San Verdi 0, Audioslavia 1’?”

“Exactly!”

“Didn’t the plan involve Audioslavia losing?”

“The Plan, Calloway - pronounce your capitals, for God’s sake! And yes, it did!”

“So, oughtn’t you to be concerned that Audioslavia is winning?”

“What?” Sir Gregory snatched the paper back and poured over it. “Well, son of a buck! That shady-looking figure assured me he’d fixed the game for San Verdi! Come on, Calloway!” he exclaimed suddenly, grabbing his hat and scarf.

“We’re going somewhere?” Calloway asked with some trepidation in his voice.

“Like my old granddad used to say, ‘If you want a game fixed properly, you’d best go to Audioslavia yourself and make sure that One Red Dot wins personally.’ Oddly specific, I know, but granpappy was a brilliant man. Now do come along, Calloway, there’s not a moment to be lost!”
Total n Utter Insanity
17-01-2005, 14:50
Insanician 1: Sir, we are lagging badly behind other nations in the Statwanking League!

Insanician 2: Dig up some material on Qualifying and post it quickly.

Insanician 1: Yes, sir!

Qualifying P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Total n Utter Insanity 194 128 32 34 379 173 206 416
Europa Brittania 5 3 0 2 7 7 0 9
NASTIC 2 4 1 1 2 4 6 -2 4
Lemmitania 4 1 0 3 3 6 -3 3
Oddslavo 4 0 2 2 2 6 -4 2
Timway 6 0 2 4 6 16 -10 2
Liverpool England 4 0 1 3 5 9 -4 1
The Weegies 4 0 1 3 5 9 -4 1
Pterodactyl 4 0 0 4 4 15 -11 0

*You must have played TnUI more than twice to get on the table.
Jeruselem
17-01-2005, 15:41
Jeruselem Government News

Group 3 Leaders show their class

Already, the top 4 ranked teams in Group 3 of World Cup XX are emerging while the wannabes are starting to show their nerves. Match days 3 and 4 started a pattern we'll be seeing for the rest of qualifiers.

Crystilakere registered two wins while Iansisle only fared worse. Iansisle beat the newcomer Nevigrad but fell to Eystrck 2-1 later. Jeruselem managed a win and draw against the dark horses of this group, Eystrck and South Osettia. Legalese did a Iansisle as well winning 4-0 then crashing 2-0 to Praying2God. The other teams would prefer to move on apart from Praying2God who now have two wins.

The form of this group is clear. Crystilakere will be hard to beat while Iansisle's consistency can be questioned but their pedigree is proven. It looks a Legalese vs Jeruselem fight for 3rd spot with Praying2God going to be someone to watch. The bottom 3 are capable of upsets, but probably don't have the long-term form to take a qualifying spot.

The top 4 defenses have been tight so far with Crystilakere and Iansisle leading the offense. Jeruselem's offense showed glimpses in the 3-1 win against Eystrck but so far has failed to perform like World Cup XIX.


MD 3
Crystilakere [3] Praying2God [0]
Iansisle [2] Nevigrad [0]
Jeruselem [3] Eystrck [1]
Legalese [4] South Osettia [0]

MD 4
Group 3
Eystrck [2] Iansisle [1]
South Osettia [1] Jeruselem [1]
Praying2God [2] Legalese [0]
Nevigrad [0] Crystilakere [2]

Group 3 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Crystilakere 4 3 1 0 8 1 10 +7
Iansisle 4 2 1 1 9 4 7 +5
Legalese 4 2 1 1 8 3 7 +5
Jeruselem 4 2 1 1 5 3 7 +2
Praying2God 4 2 0 2 3 7 6 -4
Eystrck 4 1 2 1 3 4 5 -1
South Osettia 4 0 2 2 4 10 2 -6
Nevigrad 4 0 0 4 1 9 0 -8
Bedistan
17-01-2005, 16:04
"I'm not convinced, sir."

"Not convinced? About what?"

"That this name change to the Green-Blues is really helping our team's performance." BFA vice-president Andy Boothe was usually a very quiet guy that seemingly spoke out as little as possible. Somehow, though, he felt he needed to confront President Lewis this time. "A 1-1 draw with Qia. Two 2-1 wins over teams we should be demolishing, namely Nouveau Richelieu and Haperd. Only the Ninurta match has seen anything approaching a strong performance."

"Now, Andy, you know 6-0 wins just aren't our style. This is sport, and we try to keep it fun by not making the opponents look stupid. That's also why we never win qualifying groups -- it makes everyone else look bad."

"Is this the same style that's gotten us to five semifinals, but never gotten us the Cup?"

"Indeed it is. And I'd say those five semifinal appearances speak for themselves. I'm pretty certain no other nation has ever managed that."

"You're not even listening, are you?"

"Look, I have more important matters to deal with."

"More important matters? You're the president of the Bedistan Football Association, and we're discussing the national team! How could anything be more important than that?"

"Just relax. I assure you, all will be fine. Besides, who cares if we destroy teams nobody's heard of before? We're saving our wrath for Fmjphoenix, Sarzonia, and most importantly, TnUI."

"Riiiiiiiight. The day we beat TnUI six-nil is the day helicopters come to cart the entire nation off to some distant part of the world."

"You watch. It'll happen."

-----

Bedistan 2 (Morlock Jr. 24, 79)
Nouveau Richelieu 1

Bedistan 2 (Washburn 22, Carpenter 72)
Haperd 1
Sarzonia
17-01-2005, 16:11
Stars keep streak alive, 4-1

For once, the early stretch for the Sarzonian national team went exactly according to plan. The team defeated the teams it was expected to win and earned 12 standings points, managing to stay tied with Total 'n Utter Insanity for first place in Group 10. The Stars added to their impressive beginning to World Cup 20 qualifying by knocking off Qia 4-1.

The Stars got a hat trick from forward Brian Wilson, breaking a scoring slump while midfielder Darwin Russell continued his hot play since the qualifying campaign began. The team only conceded an own goal in the 88th minute to give Coach Dave Wilson something to complain about at practice the next morning. Goalkeeper Troy Perkins made four saves out of Qia's nine total shots while Sarzonia fired 26, with eight on goal.

"We're still not where we want to be yet," Dave Wilson said. "This is a good start, but that's all it is, a good start. We need to be able to finish as well as we start and then take it the next step in the finals. But our next task is our next match against Fmjphoenix."

The Stars swear to a man that they will not look past Fmjphoenix when they play at the Snake Pit in Saugerties. The home field for the Snakes became a prohibitive advantage for the cinderfella team that ended up beating the Woodstock Wild in the finals to capture their first-ever SFC Cup. Now the Stars expect the same kind of crowd for their third match against the Vikings.

The Stars won their previous two meetings with Fmjphoenix, 4-0 and 5-2 in the 10th Cup of Harmony, but the players are dismissing any talk of that giving them an advantage.

"They're a very different football team from the one we faced in the Cup of Harmony," Brian Wilson said. "This is going to be a tough test for us and we're going to need every advantage we can get."
Eauz
17-01-2005, 16:43
Le Score

Oceaice vs. Eauz, Match Day 4

*This one goes out to Dizzee Rascal and his wonderful song "Dream".


-We’re off to the beautiful land of Oceaice, where there are two wonderful things, beaches & Babes everywhere.
http://www.bournemouth.ac.uk/service_industries/images/Girl-on-Beach.jpg

Les Bleus were starting on their 3 games away from home trip, and would start off with a team which they have played twice in the past, beating them both times. This match would be played on the sandy beaches. This could have been a factor in this match, as straight off the bat, Eauz got possession of the ball, but (woops) Mendove trips in the sand, falling over face first in the sand. This left the perusing Oceaice mid-fielders to take possession of the ball, and get a shot off at the net, which sailed past the keeper, putting Oceaice up 1 – 0 at the 10th minute of play. Fans went crazy at the sight of their team leaving early in the match. They didn’t stop there, as 7 minutes later, a long pass by Vasser was picked off, and taken up field. A pass was sent towards the middle of the net, and it was headed in by a forward, putting Oceaice up 2 – 0 at the 17th minute of play. Eauz were looking like a fish out of water, as they couldn’t get much going. Once bright spot in the first half for Les Bleus was the Lacavailler, who at the 34th minute of play sailed through the Oceaice offence and got a shot off, which would have gone in, if it had not hit the woodwork. As the first half ended, Fans started laughing and booing the Eauz club, who could only manage a measly 3 shots in the first half.

During half time, there was a bikini contest, but things went very very wrong, as a fat man dressed up in a bikini and strutted his stuff. Everyone then rushed to the nearest bathroom at the sight of him.

Fortunately, the match did resume, and a different Eauz club appeared on the field, as they seemed poised to win the match. Vasser started the club off, as the snuck through the defence, only 2 minutes after the first half started, and knocked home the first Eauz goal, making the match 2 – 1. Things became rough with the arrival of the 66th minute, as Alia was given an elbow to the head, and knocked down, but no call from the referee. We all know what this means, as Alia started shouting to the referee, and instead of the other player getting the yellow card, Alia was given it. The referee was not in the mood for Alia today. During the 78th minute of play, Rousseau was pulled down in the penalty zone, and finally the referee gets a call right, as he rewards Eauz a free kick. Alia took it, as it sailed into the top shelf, tying the match at two apiece. It was too little and too late though, as the match ended in a 2 – 2 tie, giving both teams a point.

After the game, the Eauz coach had some words about the match:
“You know, we don’t train often in the sand, actually, in Eauz, we don’t much many beaches to train on. Oh well, we knew we had to play in almost any sort of field, I guess we’ll just have to chock it up to Margaret. I believe this match will be one we look back on and say “Damn, I wish we had won this match.” Oh well, what can I say, other than Blame Margaret for this one eh?”

With the tie, Eauz drops down to 2nd place, residing to Rejistania who won their match. Eauz though should not worry too much, as it is early, and they are only hitting a tough part of the schedule. They are also only 2 points out of first, and it is only 4 matches so far. The next match for Eauz will come in Rejistania. Hopefully, this match won’t be played on a beach. The last time Eauz went into Rejistania, they won, pissing off the home fans. Eauz will be looking to do the same thing when they arrive there. Rejistania though has been looking good this qualifying round, going 4 – 0 – 0 so far, and not giving up a goal so far, and scoring 9. Les Bleus offence is very strong though, so something will have to break in the next match.



Group 1 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Rejistania 4 4 0 0 9 0 12 +9
Eauz 4 3 1 0 11 3 10 +8
Krytenia 4 2 2 0 6 2 8 +4
Shonar Bangla 4 2 1 1 6 5 7 +1
Oceaice 4 1 2 1 5 5 5 0
Limp Wristed Fish 4 0 1 3 2 7 1 -5
Pterodactyl 4 0 1 3 2 7 1 -5
Lamoni 4 0 0 4 1 13 0 -12


Match Day 1: Pterodactyl @ Eauz W 0 - 2
Match Day 2: Eauz @ Lamoni W 4 - 1
Match Day 3: Limp Wristed Fish @ Eauz W 0 - 3
Match Day 4: Eauz @ Oceaice T 2 - 2
Match Day 5: Eauz @ Rejistania
Match Day 6: Eauz @ Shonar Bangla
Match Day 7: Krytenia @ Eauz

Match Day 8: Eauz @ Pterodactyl
Match Day 9: Lamoni @ Eauz
Match Day 10: Eauz @ Limp Wristed Fish
Match Day 11: Oceaice @ Eauz
Match Day 12: Rejistania @ Eauz
Match Day 13: Shonar Bangla @ Eauz
Match Day 14: Eauz @ Krytenia
One Red Dot
17-01-2005, 16:44
To: Alvin Ker (President) <a_ker@asword.gov.rd>
From: Chris Gwee (WC Head Coach/Chisai'nihon FC) <cgwee@cnfc.org.rd>
Subject: MD 3 & 4
Sent at: 17 January (on some year) 2325h GMT

Our team has made a downfall these past few days despite an impressive start. Maybe it is overconfidence?

Yesterday, the Wolves only managed a 1-1 draw in San Verdi over at the Gweridijong City Stadium. Michele Giardin scored the goal for them while Mikey Wrenning scored the goal for us. It is very disappointing that we couldn't even defeat a total newbie!! At home ground!!

Anyway, we brought out disappoinment along when playing aginst Spaam where we lost 1-3. Louis Harrison only helped soften the blow with his goal. How humiliating it was..

Anyway, we have a match against Audioslaiva next and hopefully playing at home ground at the Royal Red Dot National Stadium can give us some advantage. And maybe deal them their first loss. Yeah, that will feel good.
Talzeckia
17-01-2005, 17:05
Tides pull another shocker, draw 1-1

Facing the world's eighth ranked team away with a debutant team is usually not a recipe for earning points in the standings, but for a Talzecki football team long on grit despite being short on talent, just about anything is possible.

The team countered the so-called lion's den with its best game as a national team, holding Kaze Progressa to 18 shots, with seven on goal and firing off a record 13 of its own en route to a 1-1 draw in Kaze Progressa.

Goalkeeper Nick Reynolds sparkled in the woodwork for the Tides, stopping six of the shots he faced. The only Progressan tally came in the 78th minute from substitute midfielder Carina Cahztavaniko after a goalmouth scramble.

"We didn't clear that ball out of danger quickly enough," Coach Avid Mashoda said. "That was a mark of inexperience. It's tragic because we held our own for 75 minutes." But the team averted disaster in the 87th minute thanks to a goal by reserve forward Dale Cooper.

"We would have liked the full three points with how well we played, but we'll take what we can get," Mashoda said. "We're just going to have to do a better job on defense once we start playing against the teams we should have a chance to beat."
Adam Island
17-01-2005, 18:11
[ooc: dont you just hate it when your IP router gets screwed up and by the time you figure out how to fix it you've already missed 4 days of world cup play?]
http://adamisland.blogspirit.com/archive/2005/01/17/adam_island_off_to_excellent_start.html

Adam Island Off To Excellent Start

The second version of the Adam Island Football Team is off to a fantastic start, finishing Day 4 in second place, tied in points with Svecia and Kylaai.

AI beat Royal Engrand's Bootleg Lions 5-2, thanks to a hat trick by star forward Ted Coelho in the first half of the match. They then visited Talzeckia where they shut the rookie team out, one to nothing.

Adam Island then traveled back to The ADAMDOME to host old rival Sliponia. AI beat the Slips 3-1, giving them their third victory in the world. It wasn't until Adam Island went to GT-R and lost to their 27-year old foward Craig Eastwood who knocked in two goals past young keeper Zaida Sandys.

LAST GAME: W3-1 v Sliponia
NEXT GAME: v Kylaai
Dance 2 Revolution
17-01-2005, 18:55
The 2s attack in World Cup 20

2 many 2s for the D2R? We hope not!

Dance 2 Revolution entered World Cup 20 ranked 2nd in the world, they then proceeded to score 2 both times in the beginning 2 fixtures, having conceded 2 overall goals, and after 4 matches are 2nd in the table behind Cockbill Street, who are ranked 28th.

If you counted the times that the number 2 was mentioned in the previous sentence, you would have counted 8 2s. This obviously shows that something significant will happen to D2R, probably that we'll come 2nd in the Qualifiers, then get 2nd place in the Group Stages on a +2 GD. The proceed to lose the finals 2-2 AFT 4-4 AET and 2-4 on PK. But that would be very hard to imagine. Now to D2R's Delayed Pre-Cup analysis.

Dance 2 Revolution ::2::

According to rank, if they were in the English Football Leagues, they would be: Arsenal

D2R's 8th cup run, Finishing 3rd last cup, D2R somehow see themselves in 2nd place in the rankings, but they aren't complaining. Always underestimated by predicting nations, and are never on good odds in any match.


Dance 2 Revolution All Time Record:
(As of WC20 MD4)
P:160 W:87 D30 L:43 GF:267 GA:184 GD:+83


Commerce Heights ::20::

According to rank, if they were in the English Football Leagues, they would be: West Bromwich Albion

Has started the campaign not as they would have expected, only amassing 4 points from a possible 12. Will be hoping to get back into form as soon as possible.

Cockbill Street ::28::

According to rank, if they were in the English Football Leagues, they would be: Preston North End

Tend to get slightly annoying after time. We have faced Cockbill Street many times, and now feel we are ready to show them the true power of a D2R side.


Previous Games

CoH12 Day 1: Cockbill Street 1 – 1 Dance 2 Revolution
CoH Final: Final: Dance 2 Revolution 0 – 4 Cockbill Street

Record: W0-D1-L1 GF1-5GA GD-4


Oddslavo ::45::

According to rank, if they were in the English Football Leagues, they would be: Luton Town

We don’t know much about this team, may cause the top 3 some problems, especially Commerce Heights.

Big Pimento ::46::

According to rank, if they were in the English Football Leagues, they would be: Hull

Was the first team to ever be on the receiving end of 6 goals by any Revolutionary side. Very similar, rank and threat-wise at least, to Oddslavo


Previous Games

WC18 Day 4: Big Pimento 2 – 6 Dance 2 Revolution
WC18 Day 11: Dance 2 Revolution 2 – 0 Big Pimento
WC20 Day 1: Dance 2 Revolution 2 – 1 Big Pimento

Record: W3-D0-L0 GF10-3GA GD+7



Kipto-Mare ::66::

According to rank, if they were in the English Football Leagues, they would be: Peterborough

Unsure about the force that this team possesses, hopefully, not enough to disturb us.

Korinthos ::110:

According to rank, if they were in the English Football Leagues, they would be: York

Should cause too many problems to the ‘big’ teams in the group.

Aust ::150::

According to rank, if they were in the English Football Leagues, they would be: A Below Conference Side

Unranked, can cause problems, very rarely do.

And the table after 4 match days looks something like this:


Group 2 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Cockbill Street 4 4 0 0 10 1 12 +9
Dance 2 Revolution 4 4 0 0 9 3 12 +6
Oddslavo 4 2 1 1 7 5 7 +2
Big Pimento 4 2 0 2 5 8 6 -3
Commerce Heights 4 1 1 2 5 6 4 -1
Kipto-Mare 4 1 1 2 5 8 4 -3
Aust 4 0 1 3 0 5 1 -5
Korinthos 4 0 0 4 5 10 0 -6
Commerce Heights
17-01-2005, 20:40
OOC: Apparently I didn’t get the memo about daily RP being required to do any better than a n00b? http://terranordalis.thirdgeek.com/images/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif
IC:
The Aeropag Tribune—To Abysmalistan with “journalism”!

TAT To Be Published Less Not-Often?
Studies show direct correlation between media coverage and team lack-of-failure in WC20Q
[note to editor: find the city name and put it here], BIG PIMENTO—The recent loss of the Commerce Heights Capitalizts to Big Pimento has un-lowered several questions about the mysterious workings of the so-called “RP bonus machine.” The Phoenix Foundation for Research, one of the least small research facilities in Commerce Heights, has discovered that a recent sports-related publication, broadcast, or even a conversation in a WC-participating nation usually leads to a lack of failure for the team, while a lack of such an incident has led to a lack of failure in almost no cases. Suspected communist and The Aeropag Tribune CEO Vladimer Weaver has not been uninformed of the problem, and suggests that no attempt to worsen the problem be made. When asked by one of PariMedia’s unintelligent information gatherers how the suggestion was not impossible, Weaver failed to discourage either an increased publication of TAT and similar publications or a modification to the RP bonus hardware.

Rejis’slani’ny has never failed to be a native of Abysmalistan. He has no lack of inexperience with failing to coach the Commerce Heights Capitalizts in WC17‒18.
EL CID THE HERO
17-01-2005, 21:13
EL CID NEWS.
NEWS YOU CAN USE.

sports news

the big match

Melmond v El Cid the hero

what is now becoming a established rivalry is destend to continue it self as, on MD5 El Cid's lions will face Melmond's Fearless Farmers in what looks like being the game of the group.

The current scorecard is Melmond 3 ECTH 2 Draws 0. As you can see Melmond have a slight advantage in this clash but both sides have been about as strong as the other. And in rank again their is precious little to choose between the two sides

Doomhammer however seams confident.
"David Bixler is a good manager and i hope he dose well in this WC. but on balance i think we are best suited for this 6th instalment."

The RF Barry Trotter also had something to say.
"I feel that if we play like we should we will come out on top. I’ve Sean a few videos of Melmond's team in action and Kan and i think we can brake through the defence"

This match is an important test for both teams as the winner will more likely than not finish at the top of the group. Will it be ECTH or Melmond?

read and you will find

MD01: El Cid the hero 2 - 0 Nonesuch Street
MD02: Pedriana 1 - 1 El Cid the hero
MD03: El Cid the hero 1 - 2 Harlesburg
MD04: Slaikau 1 - 4 El Cid the hero
MD05: Melmond v El Cid the hero
MD06: The Belmore Family v El Cid the hero
MD07: El Cid the hero v Raptor Claw
Cockbill Street
17-01-2005, 23:19
Kipto-Night-Mare Averted
Karela-Street Make It Four Out Of Four

We may not like the football, but at least we can watch on the clacks and rejoice in the table in the newspaper. Yes, we are publishing it - it contains a rare sight, namely Cockbill Street on top and the qualification line being a comfortable six points behind. The Street, yet again, failed to play any nonchalant passes, failed t omiss a single tackle, failed to have their five defenders move outside twenty yards of the goal, or indeed concede a single shot on goal. Kansu Lyku may not be any good with English, but his persuasive, visual and motivational skills are undoubtably great.

Tonight's match against Kipto-Mare was one which would previously be deemed a banana peel. One where Havell would do a fatal mistake, or a stupidly given free-kick would give 1-1, or some other pointless point loss. But instead, the team worked as a unit for a change, the long ball up to Moissanite occasionally met stone, and bounced off to an ever-running Durabox bunny named Rhianna Peters. That combination gave the first goal - of course, deceivingly simple, but such things give goals more often than not. Rob Parsonage fouled Peters, Heimfoething chipped in the penalty, and it was 1-0.

In the second-half, Kipto-Mare's defence disintegrated by a simple run, and the fast Streetian wingers Cawdron and McLavish cut through the middle and scored a goal each in the space of five minutes near the end. The 3-0 scoreline was somewhat flattering, but the first four matches have been glitchless, and Cockbill Street look well equipped before the matches with Oddslavo, Dance 2 Revolution and Commerce Heights - all arguably among the strongest sides of the group. Still, three 0-0 draws should send the Streetians in with a decent chance of qualifying for the next stage, at least.

Cockbill Street 3 (Heimfoething pen 34, Cawdron 78, McLavish 82)
Kipto-Mare 0

Cockbill Street ratings: Underwood 7 - Stronginthearm 6 (Golddevourer on 80), Dwarfclobberer 5, Galena 5, Axewielder 7, Walker 7 - McLavish 7, Heimfoething 6 (Swytherton on 55 7), Cawdron 7 - Peters 7, Moissanite 6 (Wharton on 76)
Hiiraan
17-01-2005, 23:25
Hiiraan Wins First Game Against Major Rival
Next: Kingsford

The Hiiraanian nation has been celebrating the whole night after a thrilling win against one of Hiiraan’s major rivals, the Hiiraanian men came strong on defense and played hard on offense, The team came prepared as always, however it seemed that the team from Liverpool England were not as prepared and not as ready as once believed, we thought they had chance against us, however their defense was not a piece of cake, there defense was hard to chew at first, but we chewed them till we made them soft, The second half dead locked at 0-0, the Hiiraanian men came thorough the defense with a lighting speed, Khallid came from the left and he came hard scoring the only goal in the match.

The liverporians were degraded losing to their rivals and left the football pitch with all of their heads down, the Hiiraanians were the complete opposite, they left the pitch jumping around, kissing each other and laughing, not only because they won their first game in WC20 but they have also beaten their worst rival.

The next team we meet are Kingsford’s, who are now barely clinging on the 5th spot, they have lost all of their games except one, in the second MD, the Fordians as the Hiiraanians like to call them are very beatable and are really not ready for major competition, on top of that the Hiiraanians have won their last game and they are going to be hard, yes but we don’t expect them to really came at us and challenge us in an effective way which they can beat us.


Records

2-1-1

MD01: Squornshelous L 4-1
MD02: The Eagles Nest D 1-1
MD03: The Weegies L 3-1
MD04: Liverpool England W 1-0
MD05: Kingsford
MD06: Ratvipa
MD07: Antaeus Rising
MD08:@Squornshelous
MD09:@The Eagles Nest
MD010:@The Weegies
MD011:@Liverpool England

Table:

Group 9 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
The Weegies 4 3 0 1 7 3 9 +4
The Eagles Nest 4 2 1 1 6 4 7 +2
Squornshelous 4 2 0 2 12 5 6 +7
Liverpool England 4 2 0 2 9 3 6 +6
Kingsford 4 2 0 2 5 7 6 -2
Antaeus Rising 4 2 0 2 5 10 6 -5
Hiiraan 4 1 1 2 4 8 4 -4
Ratvipa 4 1 0 3 1 9 3 -8
Praying2God
18-01-2005, 00:40
John Carlson (JC): We're back and ready for the opening kick-off of this match between the Warriors and Legalese. The Warriors are going to kick-off before their home crowd that has packed the House of Prayer to capacity for today's match. There's the referee's whistle...and we are under way. Amanda Tracy nudges the ball forward...and Kelly Carter passes it back to Christa Nelson...she makes a quick pass up the left sideline to Thomas Larson, who has slipped unnoticed deep into Legalese territory...he's through the defense...he shoots...HE SCORES!!! Thomas Larson has scored in the opening minute and the Warriors lead 1-0.

Lisa Simonson (LS): As much as I don't want to admit it...David, you were right on the prayer as to what the Warriors plan of attack was.

David Tall (DT): I had actually talked with Coach Johnson yesterday, and he had told me that that was the plan. I don't think that even he expected them to score this quickly, though.


**6th minute**
JC: The Warriors are on the attack again...Larson passes to Gore...she plays the ball to the far side for Tracy...she shoots...OFF THE CROSS BAR!!! And the ball is cleared by Legalese.

DT: Bad break for the Warriors there. It was very nearly 2-0 less than 10 minutes into the match.

LS: I'm surprised that Legalese hasn't been able to apply any offensive pressure so far. They looked far better in their first three matches.

JC: Is it possible that Legalese overlooked the Warriors?

DT: Definitely. They were in a qualifying spot after a strong start, and playing the second lowest ranked team in their group. It's hard for anybody to take their opposition seriously in that situation. Legalese definitely have a chip on their shoulder today, but it's from over-confidence, and if they keep playing like this it may be gone in 84 minutes.

LS: I don't think it's likely. They're probably recovering from the shock of the Warriors scoring in the opening minute. A goal like that always takes time to get over. It is also unlikely that the Warriors can keep this up for the full 90 minutes.


**Halftime**
JC: It's halftime here at the House of Prayer, and the Warriors continue to lead Legalese 1-0 on the goal by Thomas Larson in the opening minute of the match. The Warriors have outshot Legalese 7-1 so far, with the shots on goal numbers standing at 4-0 in the Warriors favor. How have the Warriors done it?

LS: Legalese is not the same team we've seen in their first three matches. I don't know if they're playing their reserves or something, but they have looked out-of-sync so far in this match.

DT: Those are the starters' numbers on the back of the Legalese jerseys, Lisa. I think that you aren't going to see anybody outside of the top three in the group even consider playing their reserves against the Warriors, especially after their opening match upset of Jerusalem on the road. The Warriors have simply wanted this match more than Legalese has. I believe it's going to be hard for Legalese to level this match with the way that Sarah Walker has played so far in qualifying.

JC: You lead right into my next question, David. What do you expect to see in the second half?

DT: Like I just said...more of what we saw in the first half. I don't think the Legalese coach is going to be able to motivate his players enough for them to pull this one out. I'm sticking with my 2-0 prediction, John, even though the second goal might not come on a counter-attack after all.

LS: I believe this match will even out in the second half. I want to know, David, if you're refering to the Walker who shutout Jerusalem or the Walker that gave up seven goals in the other two matches. Legalese will come out fired up in the second half, and eventually even the score. This match will end 1-1.

JC: From the scores I'm seeing in the other Group 3 matches that are going on at the moment...if the Warriors were to win this match, they would be one point out of a qualifying spot after four matches. There would only be three more matches until the midway point of qualifying, and two of those are at home.

LS: However, there is a lot of soccer to be played before that scenario will present itself.

JC: It's time for a commercial break. We'll be back to bring you the second half of this exciting match between the Warriors and Legalese.


**63rd minute**
JC: Legalese has certainly looked a lot better in the second half, but they still are unable to sustain any credible offensive effort against the stout Warriors defense. Wait a minute...one of the Legalese forwards has gotten behind the defense...the ball is passed to him...WHERE IS THE FLAG??? That is clearly offsides, and it wasn't called?! The Legalese forward shoots...Walker makes a nice save on the shot and punts the ball clear. The shots are now 8-6 in the Warriors favor, and the shots on net stand at 4-2 for the Warriors.

LS: Like I said at halftime; Legalese has come out and played a lot better here in the second half. However, they still aren't managing any good shots.

DT: I like the Warriors chances, John. They are playing outstanding defense. I believe that this change is more so because of a change by the Warriors to a all-out defensive style of play to protect the lead and the three points.

JC: Shouldn't the Warriors try to keep the offensive pressure on Legalese?

DT: No. They'll take a chance if they get a good one. It only takes one chance to score a goal, and the Warriors are playing the theory that more people back on defense, the harder it will be for Legalese to score.

LS: Absolutely. A one goal lead is not going to get the job done against one of the top 50 teams in the world.


**79th minute**
JC: Legalese has sustained offensive pressure and has brought the defense up, to try to help their attack. Gore picks off the pass into the middle...she hits a wide open Kelly...Kelly's off on a breakaway...she shoots...SHE SCORES!!!! Kelly Carter scores on a breakaway started by her friend Ashley Gore and the Warriors lead 2-0. What a counter-attack goal for the Warriors!

LS: Wow...That's all I can say right now.

DT: That pretty well says it for me too.


**90th minute**
JC: There's the final whistle. The Warriors upset Legalese 2-0 on goals by Thomas Larson and Kelly Carter. Sarah Walker records her second shutout of qualifying as the Warriors move within one point of a qualifying position after four matches.

DT: I don't think the greatest optimist in Praying2God would have placed the Warriors in this place at this point in qualifying. Having played four of the top five ranked teams in the group in their first four matches, the Warriors are vastly exceeding expectations right now. To be sitting fifth in the group at this point in qualifying would be phenomenal for any team in their WC return, especially after spending a lot of time away from the WC.

LS: I don't think the Warriors are going to be able to keep up this hot start, David. At least, they won't qualify for the WC finals in this WC. They lack the experience to finish what they've started, and they are far too inconsistant to win regularly enough to qualify.

DT: I don't think anybody expects them to qualify this time around, Lisa. I certainly wouldn't be surprised to see them finish fifth or sixth in their group, and they even have an outside shot at fourth if they can keep their strong play up. I think they'll be able to finish fairly strongly. They might not finish with a .500 record, but they'll still look pretty decent.

JC: For David Tall and Lisa Simonson; I'm John Carlson saying "Good afternoon" from the House of Prayer, where the Warriors have upset Legalese 2-0.


Praying2God 2 Larson (1), Carter (79)
Legalese 0
Praying2God
18-01-2005, 00:50
"Okay, so Jerusalem were the team that Maserrat had the most encounters with when they existed, and now it seems the mantle may have been handed to us. Jerusalem are good, but they have some flaws, which have recently been exploited by Praying2God. We are currently in the process of stealing their intelligence, and that will be with us in the next few hours. Other than that, there's nothing we really need to discuss, as we will have everything we need when the P2G intel arrives. So...I guess we're done."

"Already? That's a shame - I was just getting comfortable."

"Don't push it, Emmet. Just becuse we're going out, doesn't change our work relationship. I can't be all lovey-dovey here - it's unprofessional. I'm sorry, Emmett, it just can't happen." She got up and left...again. That was twice in two days she'd walked away without even a peck on the cheek. Something was up, and it was going to be my task to find out...right after the Jerusalem game, that is.


**in Warriors Head Coach Paul Johnson's office**

Head Coach Paul Johnson (PJ): What's the update on the strange person wandering around our practice facility the last couple of days.


Assistant Coach John Ball (JB): Security stopped him and found out he was from South Osettia and he claimed to be just checking the place out before his team came here for their WC qualifying match here. However, security didn't believe him, so they brought him to me. When I talked to him, I found out that he wanted information on Jerusalem to try to help his team.

PJ: Did you give it to him?

JB: What I gave him was a copy of a scouting report that Jessica Hollins (reserve defenseman) had found in antique shop that we completely ignored when preparing our game plan for that match. He was so excited that he called his contact from my office and told them that he had the information and was on his way home on the next flight.

PJ: Well done, John. Let them think twice before trying to steal information from us. I just can't wait until they come here to play us. :D
Rejistania
18-01-2005, 01:22
Reporter: Hejida Rej'he! Some quick questions!

Siki Rej: I have no time!

Reporter: I have a can of coffee for you!

SR: That's different then. Go ahead and ask me while I am drinking it!

Reporter: The Lasane only achieved a 1:0 against Limp Wristed Fish, why?

SR: (fills a mug with coffee and then drinks after that he answers) Why?

Reporter: Yeah, I mean, they surely could have won higher!

SR: But that would have increased the risk, if we conceded, we would have been still second in the table.

Reporter: Why do you participate if your aim is to avoid risk at all costs?

SR: I do not think that I have to justify myself for achieving the first place in the table.

Reporter: Well, surely... but seeing the Orange-Blues could have won higher and actually did against Lamoni...

SR: ... that tactical change came from Hexatux!

Reporter: Yeah, but since you are administrator, creator and programmer of it...

SR: (interferes) her!

Reporter: ...okay, of her, you might have an explanation for the tactical change.

SR: She has more matchdata in her secondary storage than I in my RAM (he points his index finger and middle finger on his left hand (the right is holding a mug of coffee) to his forehead)

Reporter: So you think this system is basically doing whatever it... errr... she wants?

SR: No, I just allow her to do what she calls right in some limits. If she suddenly came up with suicidal tactics, she'd have to give me a very good reason for it.

Reporter: like System Hangila?

SR: Indeed! I mean: people are crazy to play 3-4-3!

Reporter: That is your opinion. Total and Utter Insanity are accusing Hexatux to plan totry to get rid of attacking soccer whenever it... errr... she becomes sentient...

SR: She fills the entire cellar of the ASR, there is no way that she can do things as they imagined... and I think she will never be small enough to become some kind of 'Terminator'... whatever that is. But I can imagine that she maybe will make decent tactics more popular...

Reporter: But despite that popular tactics, "Sydi" Lyku is one of the most popular players in the team. Do you have an idea why?

SR: He is called Syku Lyku, comes from Hades and scored the winning goal in a tournament.

Reporter: errr... okay, you mean in the U21?

SR: yes!

Reporter: Talking about the U21... Do you have an idea, who will replace you and Hexatux as coach?

SR: Linkosa'he!

Reporter: Myk?

SR: Indeed, he is the most likely candidate at the moment.

Reporter: That is bad news for you...

SR: Why?

Reporter: With him as coach, people will begin to consider your tactics in the U21 'attacking'

SR: Eeek!
Pedriana
18-01-2005, 02:29
from the journals of Adam Talbot
May 24, 2064

I sat in my office in downtown Athtai. Well, if you can really call it an office. Having spent the first twenty-eight years of my life in Sonoma City, Bedistan, you can imagine the culture shock when my wife and I moved to Pedriana. First of all, there's no economy to speak of. Money seems pretty much worthless. A five-pack of chewing gum costs seventy simoleons! I really don't know what attracted Erena (that's my wife's name) to this place. Pretty much, we live out our lives as the great Emperor Pedro IV and his cronies tell us to do. If we step out of line, we get an all-expense-paid, one-way trip to the Emperor's world-famous Giant Evil Spider Containment Camp. And so far nobody has ever returned from such an adventure.

And speaking of Giant Evil Spiders, those were in fact the subject of my work that hot May afternoon. Well, just one Giant Evil Spider, I guess. Giant Evil Spiders don't usually come under the jurisdiction of the Department of Sports and Ice Cream, for you see, that's where I work. Somehow, though (and I am forced to assume it was the Emperor's personal decision, because I can't think of anyone else crazy enough), one of those ten-foot-tall monstrosities made it onto the Pedriana national football team. And now he'd gotten the whole Department into a mess.

Several weeks ago, the team visited Feliz-Unne Stadium in Melmond for a World Cup 20 qualifying match. The Pedrian goalkeeper was forced to leave the game early with an injury, and the replacement was the one...the only...Bob, the Giant Evil Spider. And when Bob got out onto the pitch, all hell broke loose. According to the news reports from Melmond, he started shooting poison gas everywhere. I had never heard of a Giant Evil Spider doing that before; this must've been one of those from the colony by the coal plant in Polaughach. At any rate, it apparently resulted in the pretty much complete destruction of Feliz-Unne Stadium and the injury of several spectators. The referee called the game after 13 minutes, with the score at that time of 2-0 in Melmond's favor being considered official, but that wasn't my main concern.

As part of the Scandal Sub-Department, my job was to repair any diplomatic or financial difficulties resulting from stuff like this. Not surprisingly, Melmond, a capitalist nation, had sued us for damages in conjunction with the city of Unne. The problem was, we were already in debt, and any further money would have to be provided by the Emperor, who would surely not be happy about this.

I began to draft my letter of apology (and, indirectly, delay).
Lethislavania
18-01-2005, 02:39
Lethislavania [2] - [0] The Lowland Clans

Clouds drifted lazily over the aluminum stands at the yet-unamed stadium in The Lowland Clans. The sun peeked through, the beams of yellow light casting a glow on the field. Dew drops hung lazily on the grass, refracting rays of light. The crowd stirred slowly, as babies cried and drinks tipped over. Striding out, the Lethislavanian squad looked tired and gaunt in their black and green kits, and very mismanaged. Aroyyo shook his head slowly, as if his head was upon a loose hinge. The Lowland Clans burst onto the field, as pyrotechnic shots of brilliant orange and yellow shot out from sprinklers.

The game began lazily, as the ball pushed towards Lethislavania's goal. The defense was unsteady, a tower balancing on the pen. A skilled Clansmen shot forward, a fire igniting in his eyes. He flew forward, his legs going back and forth in perfect unison. He pulled back and launched his shot, watching as it drifted into the upper-left hand corner of the goal. Jorge jumped up, pushing off the gleamin white sidebar of the goal and flew up, tightly grabbing the monochromatic sphere. The crowd gasped automatically, looking at the god-like catch. A fresh vigor overtook the team, as Jorge pumped his fist hard. He kicked the ball forward, sending it towards Cel Karra. Kerry Twilder lithefully glided over and took the ball and spun around, launching it towards the goal. Jumping high, the goalie went for the ball, yet it seemed to be guided by a strange, unnoticed force, and blazed a trail of air, leading into the upper-right hand corner of the goal. Lethislavania erupted, as they took the lead against the higher-ranked Clans. Thomas jumped onto Cel's back, screaming some english nonsense. Grinning, his smile edged upwards, revealing two indentations in his cheeks. The second half edged to a clos 15 minutes later, the sound of the foghorn lowering the morale of the Lowlands.

Aroyyo stormed into the locker room, furious. His face exploded into bright red, his fists crushed tightly together, white creases form. "What the heck are you doing? We can't beat this team!" He then fell to his knees, laughing. "Y-you guys are great... But we need to pull it together, these guys can rebound." A maverick streak appeared in his mind. "I've got an idea... Peltier, Lipsky, pull forward. Johnson, pull back. Thomas and Kerry, get the ball to Karra, if possible. His foot is on fire." The grin returned again, and Aroyyo smiled viciously, his teeth shining under the pale glow of the lamps. The team nodded, and got on their knees to pray.

Thomas began the second half by pulling off a vicious attack upon the Lowland defense, pulling off a perfect game of footie, as his feet danced upon the ground. It was like a certain type of majick appeared, one that imbued itself in his feet. A typical smile appeared, and he dished it over to Kerry, who took his part in continuing the game. Wearing the other team mentally, they began to look for an opening. Cel edged away from his defender, then broke loose. Twilder shot the ball forward, and Cel jumped, an invisible rocket propelling him forward. His head glanced the ball, sending it curving into the net. GOAL! The crowds erupted, sending a volley of torturous curses and insults. All the team could do was grin. A silly, goofy grin.
Krytenia
18-01-2005, 04:09
THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

Lam To The Slaughter

RUMOURS of the death of the Celestials are greatly exaggerated. The national side bounced back from two poor games to finish this game well and truly purring - and gaining ground on second place in the group. This despite cruel chants of "Where's Your Nwoko Gone?" from the more...boisterous Hawks fans.

Lamoni simply never got into the game. The visitors pressured right from the start, and no-one was surprised when Acienko Rimmer nodded home from a Zavarov cross on twelve minutes. Indeed, but for the heroics of goalkeeper Raoul Gonzales, it could have been two or three before the break.

Half-time then, and the all too familiar score of one-nil on the board. But Krytenia had learned the lessons of the Oceaice game well, and rather than let their opponents back into the game, they closed the door in a spectacular flowing move. A total of 27 passes were strung together by the Celestials, involving every outfield player, before Rimmer dashed into the area. Finding his way blocked by a sea of red, he pulled back for Ashley Moreaux to drill home a screamer from all of fifteen yards. Poor Gonzales never even got a chance to move.

Two became three late on, and an unfortunate moment for the Lamoni number five, John Clark. Clark was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and his attempt to block a Dave Van Staveren shot only served to turn the ball past his own 'keeper.

The three points will be welcome as fans across the nation look at the Celestials' next three games and shout:

"BANGLA AND REJIS AND EAUZ, OH MY!"

The away trip to Shonar Bangla will be crucial. Here's hoping it leads to the continuation of the Celestials' undefeated record.

LAMONI.......................0
KRYTENIA....................3
Rimmer 12
Moreaux 57
Clark o.g. 81
Praying2God
18-01-2005, 05:56
John Carlson (JC): Welcome to a sold out House of Prayer for today's match between the Warriors and Nevigrad. This may be the only match all tournament that the Warriors are actually favored by the odds makers. Nevigrad has not looked impressive so far, as they have failed to earn any points, getting outscored 1-9 in the process. The Warriors have done a little better, sitting in 5th in the group on six points having split their first four matches. However, they have been outscored 3-7 in those matches. Their wins both being shutouts, over Jerusalem and Legalese. What do you expect to see today?

David Tall (DT): The Warriors should do well in this match as long as they don't get over-confident having just shutout Legalese, who had gotten off to a fast start, and as long as they don't overlook this match for the South Osettia match. If they do, the Warriors will be in trouble.

Lisa Simonson (LS): Nevigrad has actually played pretty well so far. They're in the same sort of situation the Warriors are, it's just that they haven't been getting the same results. We could be in for either an offensive shootout or a defensive slugfest today. We'll know in the first ten minutes or so of the match. However, this match will be very close either way.

JC: What are the keys to this match?

DT: For Nevigrad, the key is not letting this match get out of hand early. If the Warriors score early, then Nevigrad is toast, and this match could get ugly. For the Warriors, it's not playing down to Nevigrad's skill level. The Warriors have done a great job so far at playing up to their opponents' skill level, and if they can avoid falling prey to the playing down to your opponents level syndrome, they should do well.

LS: It's not going to be that easy, David. Nevigrad still has the potential to play with the Warriors, so the Warriors won't be able to empty their bench in this match to give the starters some rest, and that may come back to bite them later in the tournament. The Warriors can't get away from what has been successful for them so far, or they'll be in trouble. If they play solid defense and capitalize on their scoring chances, they should be in good shape.

JC: How do you think Coach Johnson will motivate his players for this match?

LS: He'll tell them that they need to stay focused and to stay within themselves. If they try to get too fancy, it will cost them.

DT: He'll focus on trying to get them to think of themselves as the underdogs. If not in this match, then in the race for a qualifying spot, which might not be out of the question if the Warriors can keep playing as well as they have so far. However, they will probably need to clean up in their home matches against the teams outside of the big three, and potentially steal points from one or two of them too.

JC: What's your prediction for today's match?

LS: Nevigrad will keep this closer than most people expect in their best effort of the tournament so far. Warriors 1-0.

DT: The Warriors will avoid overlooking this match and dominate as both offenses do their damage. Warriors 3-1.

JC: The Warriors will come out and dominate from start to finish. Warriors going away 4-0.

DT: Are you feeling alright, John? That's a bold prediction for you.

JC: I'm feeling fine. It's time for us to go to commercial, but we'll be back in time for the opening kick-off for this match between the Warriors and Nevigrad.
Melmond
18-01-2005, 06:45
Woes Continue Away From Melmond
Fearless Farmers Merely Tie Lowly Harlesburg 1-1
By Jim Dwordorf of the Aldi Tribune

HARLESBURG—The Melmond National Team really misses home. In this first part of the first half of qualifying, affectionately called the easy part, the Fearless Farmers have been near flawless at home, getting two goal victories over Slaikau and Pedriana. However, away from their home country, the Fearless Farmers have looked pathetic. First off, the team loses their cool in a very embarrassing loss to Nonesuch Street, and now they tie that in terms of embarrassment by merely tying lame duck side Harlesburg.
The team arrived in Harlesburg, which was in shambles after a great flood. Harlesburg originally tried to drop out its national team to recover from the flood and such, but since it was too late to rescind their entry into the World Cup qualifying, the figured they might as well start playing anyway. The Melmond National Team arrived in the flood-ravaged capital city of Harlesburg to play their match. The national stadium looked more like a shanty stadium. The stadium was rather modest to begin with, only seating around 10,000 people tops, but in order for the Harlesburg National Team to play their, it had to have many makeshift changes to make it playable. Nevertheless, a sizable amount of the Fearless Farmer faithful made the trip to Harlesburg to see their beloved team play on a very dreary overcast day.
The first half was played rather solidly by the Fearless Farmers despite still missing two of their more experienced and physical defenders, Charles Unne and Veronica Dean, due to red card suspensions. The defence played rather well, and whenever the defence made a lapse, Melmond goalkeeper Alex McCarthy was right there to make the necessary stop. The Fearless Farmers would get their only goal of the match at the 14th minute, where Melmond midfielder Pauline Hulme and striker Gene MacDougall was basically playing ball dribble tag until one player decided to take the shot. It was Hulme who take the shot and get the ball past the Harlesburg goalkeeper. Melmond takes the 1-nil lead.
However, due to some strict refereeing, the Fearless Farmers attack was thwarted by two wary strikers Tim Remans and Gene MacDougall, who got yellow cards for some rather minor tussling for position in terms of crosses and headers. The cards were handed out at the 31st and 36th minutes respectively. Remans and MacDougall knew they couldn’t afford getting another yellow card and miss the next match against EL CID THE HERO, and with reserve striker Jamie Prior already serving a red card suspension, it was futile to just substitute one striker while leaving the other at risk of another yellow card. The first half will end however with Melmond have the 1-nil lead.
However, as the second half started, with all the action of the still damp pitch at the national stadium of Harlesburg, the pitch was a cesspool of mud. Plays of any sort were very hard to make as players kept slipping in the mud. However, Harlesburg getting used to the muddy pitch they play on, they had better cleats for traction than the Fearless Farmers. The talent alone of the Melmondian squad kept the Harlesburg side in check for the most part, but at the 70th minute, Harlesburg earned a corner kick. The kick was in the air, and unfortunately for the Fearless Farmers, goalkeeper Alex McCarthy slipped on the mud and Harlesburg striker Delano Luge was able to strike the ball past the downed and muddy Melmond goalkeeper. Harlesburg scores their equaliser. They take the 1-1 tie into the rest of the game. The score ends in a tie, but it was a virtual win for Harlesburg and a virtual loss for Melmond. A virtual win for Harlesburg as they had the honour of tying and playing well a strong Melmond side and representing a ray of hope for the flood-ravaged Harlesburgian people. A virtual loss for Melmond as the Fearless Farmers finishes the easy part of the first half of qualifying with only seven points.

Goals
Hulme, MEL 14th
Luge, HAR 70th

Cards
Remans, MEL 31st
MacDougall, MEL 36th

Standings

Other Group 4 Results
Slaikau 1 – EL CID THE HERO 4
Nonesuch Street 1 – The Belmore Family 1
Pedriana 0 – Raptor Claw 2

Group 4
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. The Belmore Family 8 2 2 0 6:4 2
2. EL CID THE HERO 7 2 1 1 8:4 4
3. Melmond 7 2 1 1 6:4 2
4. Nonesuch Street 7 2 1 1 5:3 2
5. Raptor Claw 6 2 0 2 4:4 0
6. Harlesburg 5 1 2 1 6:6 0
7. Slaikau 3 1 0 3 4:9 -5
8. Pedriana 1 0 1 3 1:6 -5

Team Stats
Goals: Gene MacDougall (3), Tim Remans (1), Jake Cormier (1), Pauline Hulme (1)
Cards: Veronica Dean (1), Charles Unne (1), Jamie Prior (1), Tim Remans (1), Gene MacDougall (1)

Melmond National Team Schedule

v Slaikau (Makinshakes Stadium, O’Connor) W 3-1
@ Nonesuch Street L 2-0
v Pedriana (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne) W 2-0
@ Harlesburg T 1-1
v EL CID THE HERO (Microcosm Football Colossuseum, Aldi)
@ Raptor Claw
v The Belmore Family (Melmond Bowl, Melmond City)
@ Slaikau
v Nonesuch Street (Anachronism Park, Cali)
@ Pedriana
v Harlesburg (White Bread Dome, Suburbia)
@ EL CID THE HERO
v Raptor Claw (Frankndottir Stadium, Acosta)
@ The Belmore Family

Next Game
vs. EL CID THE HERO (Microcosm Football Colossuseum, Aldi)

Now starts the toughest portion of the first half of qualifying, with matches against EL CID THE HERO, Raptor Claw, and The Belmore Family. First is the highest ranked side in the group other than the Fearless Farmers, EL CID THE HERO. This is a side which really has lived up to its promises ever since it said they will qualify for the World Cup. Now they are very sure that they will beat the Fearless Farmers at this down portion for the Melmond side. However, the Fearless Farmers have many things going for them in the sixth encounter between the two sides. First off, they are returning to their home nation, where they have been undefeated during qualifying. Most importantly, three players, including key defensive starters Veronica Dean and Charles Unne. Here is Manager David Bixler’s now full-strength starting lineup.

GK- Alex McCarthy
D- Notint Hecloset
D- Veronica Dean
D- Charles Unne
D- Laola Saenu
M- Peeko Noodleschlausen
M- Martin Goodwin Jr.
M- Pauline Hulme
M- Jake Cormier
F- Gene MacDougall
F- Tim Remans

Microcosm Football Colossuseum
Location: Aldi, Melmond
Seats: 97,474 (Open Air)

Aldi is the second largest city in Melmond and is on the coast of the Aldi Sea. It is known for its beautiful weather and gnarly surfing. However, this town does seem to have an inferiority complex to the larger Melmond City and the more glamourous Unne. One sign of this complex is that the city of Aldi felt it had to build a bigger stadium than Melmond City to still look like a world-class city. With that and the sinister brainchild of Microcosm of Melmond, the Microcosm Football Colossuseum was built by those subconsciously hypnotized by the talking dolls made by the company and Matmel which brought people from other cities in Melmond and far away places like Bedistan and Commerce Heights to build this monolith for free. This stadium is the home of the Melmond Premier League club Aldi Reds. The stadium is in the shape of the most perfect circle a sentient being can create. However, the pitch is in your traditional rectangular shape to keep the fans near the action. Of course, being that Microcosm of Melmond is the sponsor of the stadium, this is one of the most hi-tech stadiums with air-conditioned stands and two jumbotrons. Of course as with any prerequisite for a stadium this size, lots and lots of bathrooms! The bathrooms won’t be full unless there are more people at the match as tickets are still available for this important match. First 5,000 fans get a football autographed by current Aldi Reds star and former Melmond National Team star Trav Strachan.
Hiiraan
18-01-2005, 06:59
Hiiraan Faces the Kings
KingsFord Struggles And without Major playermakers


The Hiiraanian Produced A lot of Playmakers that have moved to Successful Europeans and International Clubs, The Hiiraanian team also has major players who play in the League Sare of Hiiraan, However the Kings Have yet to Find the player to relay on the team, The Hiiraanian have been also staying with one coach who learned his players from top to bottom, however the Kings have Switched Coaches as much as you switch your shoes, A struggling International team like Hiiraan have been known to come up from the bottom to the top, but this Team that the International is witnessing has not Produced anything to suspect it will show a Comeback from the worst beating it got from the start.

The Hiiraanian Players have showed as much as Heart as skills and are diffidently a team to fear, We have already tied the Eagles and won against Liverpool England, The Hiiraanian diffidently see a future, a future which is not a foreseen one for the Kings, Many teams have been known to under estimate and then lose, But this kings team seem desperate and are not prepared for a major challenge like Hiiraan, at least for this year, The Hiiraanians will fight through anything to win tomorrow, after all it will be our fault if we lose to such a team, a team that is in shambles now.

We cannot however predict a win or a lose for Hiiraan tomorrow for the simple fact that we cannot, why? Because we feel it would do no good for this game, we are sure Hiiraan will have many chances of winning this game and might even win, however we are bound to keep our lips shut until further news from the playing field.
Nonesuch Street
18-01-2005, 07:55
Loss? Exist No
Belmores Score Nonesuch On - Draw

Sijiyiterexansariteriny Lilijijixexehanykaja in Alan City

Fourth match Nonesuch Street of in World Cup Twenty ended draw. Good match both sides by, Nonesuch lead took forty minute after. MacSwell'he head from corner gave Nonesuch goal. 94 minutes, Nonesuch thought win, but Alan Belmore'he had given referee money. Insane Inflation referee accept, penalty to Belmores, Belmore'he coming off bench. Belmore'he chip Highsenburg'he for goal, though sat wheelchair. One point, so Nonesuch are fourth table.
Fmjphoenix
18-01-2005, 08:58
Vikings get a solid win that was much needed with a 4-1 win over Nintura

In a match when the Vikings needed their starts to step up, they stepped up big time. Larry Brown, Mike Nolan, Jorge Mendel, and Esteban Zeus all scored for Fmjphoenix as they went on an had a solid match against an undermanned Nintura side en route to a 4-1 victory.

The match started off fast and never slowed down. Larry Brown started off the scoring for the Vikings with a strike right as the clocked showed 10 minutes. Nintura then mysteriously came back with a quick shot at 13 minutes to tie the match up 1-1. That didn't last too long. Zeus showed a few flashes from his previous years with a few lightning fast moves to scoot around the Nintura defenders, took a firce pass from Jason Mitchell and hooked a shot high into the right corner to put Fmjphoenix up 2-1 at 21 minutes. That score would hold until the second half. When the second half opened up, Nolan stole from a Ninturan midfielder then ran upfield for an uncontested one-on-one that he easily won for a 3-1 lead at 47 miunutes. Then, the Vikings sat back and played ball control, or something of that likes by just passing the ball around for 20 minutes without either team attempting a single shot. Nintura managed to steal the ball away from Tra Miranda at 73 minutes to try and attempt a shot, but Powel Lamar easily caught the weak kick and launched it deep down towards midfield. When it came down, it was right to the feel of team captian Jorge Mendel. He wasted no time in running the rest of the way past confused defenders to put it a minute later for the fourth and final goal of the match. There was worry from the bench as Wei Zeng went down hard when he collided with a Ninturan forward. He was helped of the field and was listed as day-to-day.

It is unknown if he wil be ready for Sarzonia, who the Vikings will be playing next as the second of their two day road trip. The Vikings had played two previous matches with the Stars, both in the Cup of Harmony X, when the Vikings were barely introduced into World Cup soccer with losses of 4-0 and 5-2. This Vikings team is a lot more prepared for the power Sarzonia than it was last time. The are going to go into this match knowing that they can come into another teams stadium and walk away victorious.

Fmjphoenix: 4
(Brown 10, Zeus 21, Nolan 47, Mendel 74)

Nintura: 1
(Unknown 14)

World Cup XX Qualification:
MD01: Fmjphoenix vs. Nouveau Richelieu Win 4-2
MD02: Fmjphoenix @ Haperd Lose 1-2
MD03: Fmjphoenix vs. Qia Lose 0-1
MD04: Fmjphoenix @ Ninurta Win 4-1
MD05: Fmjphoenix @ Sarzonia
MD06: Fmjphoenix vs. Total n Utter Insanity
MD07: Fmjphoenix @ Bedistan
MD08: Fmjphoenix @ Noveau Richelieu
MD09: Fmjphoenix vs. Hapred
MD10: Fmjphoenix @ Qia
MD11: Fmjphoenix vs. Ninurta
MD12: Fmjphoenix vs. Sarzonia
MD13: Fmjphoenix @ Total n Utter Insanity
MD14: Fmjphoenix vs. Bedistan
Record: 2-0-2
Liverpool England
18-01-2005, 09:18
1-0 loss on neutral ground leaves fans fuming
SyLy given ultimatum by FALE

MATCHDAY 4 RECAP
HIIRAAN 1-0 LIVERPOOL ENGLAND Island Arena, Crivoska, Kaze Progressa

The loss of defender Doug Freech must have done something, although the makeshift defence managed to hold up..... until his replacement, 18-year-old Kevin Hargrove, was sent off for his second bookable offence in the 61st minute. SyKu LyKu was obviously frustrated at the referee for dishing out the second yellow, as it seemed to be a seemingly innocuous challenge from Hargrove on Mahad Isaaq, who went down rather too easily.

The fans weren't happy either; 140 Liverpool England fans were detained by Progressan police after rioting took place. One fan was also charged with throwing a mobile phone at Mahad Isaaq. [OOC: No prizes for guessing which RL incident!] The resulting free kick saw the ball in the net for the only goal of the game.

Hargrove's second yellow card has since been rescinded, although the first yellow card being his second yellow of the qualifiers, he will have to serve a one-match suspension.

Coach Syku Lyku was told by the FALE after the game that the return leg, to be held at the same venue, had to produce three point or he would lose his job three matches before his contract ran out.

MD01: Ratvipa (H) Waterway Stadium, Schimpol Final Score: 5-0
MD02: Antaeus Rising (A) Final Score: 1-2
MD03: Kingsford (H) IDEXO Stadium, CCL Final Score: 3-0
MD04: Hiiraan (N) Island Arena, Crivoska, Kaze Progressa Final Score: 0-1
MD05: The Weegies (H) Grovers Park, Orean
MD06: Squornshelous (H) National stadium, CCL
MD07: The Eagles Nest (A)
MD08: Ratvipa (A)
MD09: Antaeus Rising (H) Waterway Stadium, Schimpol
MD10: Kingsford (A)
MD11: Hiiraan (N) Island Arena, Crivoska, Kaze Progressa
MD12: The Weegies (A)
MD13: Squornshelous (A)
MD14: The Eagles Nest (H) National Stadium, CCL

MATCHDAY 5 PREVIEW

THE WEEGIES Grover's Park, Orean
Liverpool England have been on an inconsistent up-and-down cycle (WLWL). Based on their current run, the next match, at home, should produce 3 points. But will it? We take a look at potential key players.

LivEng Airways Dangermen To Watch:

Liverpool England: We'd choose Freech if he wasn't suspended. We went instead for an attacker, Frank Kushner. Kushner, 24, has two international goals and will be desperately looking to add to that. Kushner will face off against a strong Weegian defence.

The Weegies: Keith McIntosh, 17, will hope to make an impression on the Liverpool England home crowd, and more importantly, any scouts watching. He and forward Falaigh Riordan are our Dangermen to watch for The Weegies.
Tadjikistan
18-01-2005, 09:52
TO: The Government and People of Tadjikistan

FROM: Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe --- Barristers – Attorneys at Law & Lawn Maintenance --- Representing the Ministry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages of the Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38

RE: Damages, Unauthorized Use of Intellectual Property, to whit: the name “Hooligans”

Sir/Madam/Other (please select appropriate form of address):

In regards to your claim that “Hooligan” is a common word or term, we advise you to turn away as we laugh up our figurative sleeve. Ah, what the heck, we’ll be laughing up our actual sleeves.

We make no argument that the term “Hooligan” does not connote/denote a vandal or rioter, nor that the term “Hooliganism”, does not carry the connotation/denotation of vandalism. Of course not. Hah! (sorry – laughing up the ol’ sleeve again)

Or, more appropriately, of course. The term “Hooligan” entered the lexicon (dragging with it the term “Hooliganism”, kicking and screaming) to describe those with behavior like (and that specific behavior of) members of the national football side of the Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38 – known as “THE HOOLIGANS” for time immemorial.

And that is the argument we will make in court.

Unless, of course, some sort of offer were made and accepted that would make the entire lawsuit moot. Say, something in a large brown paper bag in small denominations, but adding up to what we like to refer to as “a sizeable sum”, placed surreptitiously in the hollow of the old oak tree just inside the south entrance to central park in our fine capital city of Sten. Just a thought…

Ah…sorry…have to get back to the topiary.

In the Sincere Hope of Resolving this I$$ue,

Huey Ducke
Louis Ducke

Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe
Attorneys, Barristers, Lawyers, Lawn Maintenance

From: Mikoyan and Gurevich law firm
To:The Snub Nose Thirtyeightian that does not like the use of the word hooligan in a public statement from the Tadjik press on hooliganism in the coming qualifications for the Tadjik national football team and therefore hired The firm of Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe --- Barristers – Attorneys at Law & Lawn Maintenance to send us a message saying he did not like it and wants our client to pay so we dont have to go to court but is mistaken.

Unacceptable, we have a strong case and we'll meet you in court.
Giant Zucchini
18-01-2005, 10:34
Zucchini 1: We lost to Wella.

Zucchini 2: WHAT?

Zucchini 1: I SAID WE LOST TO WELLA!

Zucchini 2: I KNOW, I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!

Zucchini 1: We lost 4-1.

Zucchini 2: But I thought we beat Snub...

Zucchini 1: We did.

Zucchini 2: And we lost to Wella?

Zucchini 1: Yes

Zucchini 2: Impossible...

---Not to be continued---
Tadjikistan
18-01-2005, 10:46
Spurland 0 - 4 Tadjikistan

Spurland - Spurland was last in group 5 and did not hide its intentions for their match against the Tigers; getting a positive result and some points out of it. But it seems as if Spurland ran out of luck(as if they've had any luck so far). The Tigers took advantage of their misfortune and put a 0-4 on the scoreboard.

The Tigers started the match with some well coordinated moves down the sides bringing Ter Gasparian in front of the Spurlandian box. But the Spurlandian defenders played an important role in Tadjikistans first goal. Albert Kaholic tackled Koshevoi while the latter made his run towards the Spurlandian goal, The ref gave Kaholic a yellow card, not exactly good enough for the Tadjik supporters an a number of Tadjik hooligans started to make trouble while Kirponos scored his first goal of the Qualifications.

Dark clouds now gathered over Spurland as they realized it would be hard to reverse the situation, but they did what they could and almost beat Alekseev with a shot from the second line. Alekseev kicked the ball to the other side of the field where it found Ter Gasparian, alone against two Spurlandian defenders on the other flank. Ter Gasparian didnt want to risk messing up such an excellent opportunity and lobbed the ball over Breech. The score was now set at 0-2, Luchinsky was certain of the 3 points.

The young Zarakovsky made things even worse for Spurland, In the 58th minute in the second half he worked himself away from his guard and moved to the right side of the Spurlandian box. There he picked up a pass from Zytsev and dropped it behind Breech with the help of a defenders leg.
Spuralnd was beaten but not out yet and they started to make some moves in the other direction now. Alekseev was alert and stopped a shot from Martin Wolf. The young Oborin too was seen in the heat of the battle stopping an assault by Spurlands strikers.

But the last goal that should have been for Spurland ended up in the wrong box. Zaev was incorrectly stopped by Andy Lambert, the Tigers got their second free kick of the match and Koshevoi made it count. He got the ball turning around its own axis and with a curve past the defenders wall into the top left crossing of the goal.

Zhenya Luchinsky was pleased to see his team in its best condition, but he felt abit sorry for Spurland 'They fought back and came close to scoring. They should have gotten atleast one goal. Too bad, they have what all the talent they need, they just arent lucky. They'll get another chance to beat us on Matchday eleven, when they visit Dushanbe, in the meantime we should try to keep our nets clean as we have done so far. Maybe we'll set a new record'

While Luchinsky and his team celebrated their victory, the Tadjik hooligans started a party of their own in the streets of Spurland. Police moved out to stop the riots and arrest the troublemakers. We await further news from the Spurlandian police.


MD1:Tadjikistan - Wickerslack W 3-0
MD2:Irenadia - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD3:Tadjikistan - Lethislavania D 0-0
MD4:Spurland - Tadjikistan W 0-4
MD5:Tadjikistan - Oaker
MD6:Tadjikistan - The Lowland Clans
MD7:Turori - Tadjikistan
MD8:Wickerslack - Tadjikistan
MD9:Tadjikistan - Irenadia
MD10:Lethislavania - Tadjikistan
MD11:Tadjikistan - Spurland
MD12:Oaker - Tadjikistan
MD13:The Lowland Clans - Tadjikistan
MD14:Tadjikistan - Turori


Group 5 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Tadjikistan 4 3 1 0 9 0 10 +9
Turori 4 3 1 0 11 4 10 +7
Lethislavania 4 2 1 1 5 3 7 +2
Oaker 4 2 1 1 6 5 7 +1
The Lowland Clans 4 2 0 2 7 4 6 +3
Irenadia 4 1 0 3 2 8 3 -6
Wickerslack 4 0 1 3 4 10 1 -6
Spurland 4 0 1 3 2 12 1 -10
South Osettia
18-01-2005, 14:10
"The die says 5-3."

"To us or to them?"

"Do you really need to ask?" I imagined not. Five days without a win would pretty much describe how things were going for us. I would not have been surprised if we were the highest ranked team without a victory, but that's how our 'luck' seemed to be going at the moment.

"You know, if we don't beat Nevigrad, I think I'm gonna complain to somebody. This just isn't fair."

"It's not about being fair."

"What is it about, then?"

"It's about making friends with the host so that they feel inclined to let you win."

"That's not right, is it?"

"That's what it seems to be."

"Mind you, this is you we're talking about, Polly."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that in your world, a die is the source of all knowledge."

"What did I say about being mean?"

"That it was good and that I should carry on doing it for the rest of my life?"

"Hmmm...no!"

"I can hardly be happy when we keep losing and teams that don't deserve to be ahead of us are still ahead of us."

"Praying2God, Legalese, Eystrck?"

"Precisely."

"Well, in four years time we'll be back with a vengeance. Besides, the Ts'khinvali Open is coming up soon, and we can just make them suffer in that."

"Tennis - the only sport more pointless than football."

"Are you really that concerned about this dip in form?"

"It's not a dip in form though, is it? We're playing well, but we're just being messed around by the God Of Scoring. He's having a laugh at my expense. At my expense!"

"I bet you die of something resulting from high blood pressure."

"I bet you die of me throttling you."

"Is that a threat?"

"You'd better believe it."

"You watch - next World Cup will qualify, I bet you."

"Bet me what?"

"Um...I bet you...500 kugra."

"Yes, I'll make a bet summing the equivalent of 10p."

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!

"There was a time when I cared about that sound. Now I'm just becoming disenchanted with the whole thing."

"Because we keep losing?"

"No, because we keep not winning."

"Isn't that the same thing as losing?"

"...you're too smart for your own good sometimes, you know that? Anyway, the point is, I now don't care whether we win or lose...just as long as we win, because I think I might just try to kill myself again if we keep losing."

"Again?"

"Yes...remember I was part of the Maserrat thing when everybody hated them, and at one point I just felt like dying."

"You weren't even born during the Maserrat thing."

"Realy? I must be thinking of Cary then." Just then Moira Jackson stuck her head round the door. I hadn't heard her coming this time. Must be the new shoes...

"You don't come to the holoscreen anymore."

"I can't be bothered to go to the holoscreen anymore. Just tell me how much we lost by."

"5-3."

"Thankyou. Now go away." She did so.

"I was right again."

"That's nice. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

"There's something seriously wrong with you when you start quoting films."

"I know - it's a sad demise, isn't it?"
Snub Nose 38
18-01-2005, 14:26
From: Mikoyan and Gurevich law firm
To:The Snub Nose Thirtyeightian that does not like the use of the word hooligan in a public statement from the Tadjik press on hooliganism in the coming qualifications for the Tadjik national football team and therefore hired The firm of Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe --- Barristers – Attorneys at Law & Lawn Maintenance to send us a message saying he did not like it and wants our client to pay so we dont have to go to court but is mistaken.

Unacceptable, we have a strong case and we'll meet you in court.
*we find ourselves in the offices of dewey, cheetum, and howe. there's dewey, over by the window, rubbing his hands in glee. there's louis, rubbing his hands in glee over by the window. we overhear...*

"Oh, goody!"

*and*

"Yippee!"
Eauz
18-01-2005, 15:43
Les Bleus arrived in Rejistania, after taking a plane from Oceaice, only 2 hours after the match. Unfortunately, we did not find the same beaches and babes in Rejistania, but no one was expecting it. The leader of Rejistania is more of a feminist, and thus there wouldn’t be the emphasis on sex. Nonetheless, the planner of the trip made a mistake, and Eauz arrived one day in advance of the match. This gave the team photo taker a chance to explore Rejistania. Due to the fact that photo’s take up a lot of size and time to load, we will mainly just explain the things the camera man saw…

Arriving in the capital, people were getting ready for the ultimate match, between Eauz and Rejistania. Rejis flags and banners were everywhere in the city. Eauz had also been told that Rejistania supports a small amount of capitalism. Not many advertisements were around the city, but big ads for “Rejistanian Café(coffee)” were almost everywhere. Walking the streets, we saw something that amazed us all. A high speed Bus, which is used to go across countries in short times. We caught a vague image of the bus below:

http://www.model-bus-federation.org.uk/journal/mbj383mar03/p09-01md34-blur.jpg

After those images, it was the last thing we saw of the camera operator, as he told us he would be going to take pictures outside of the city in the villages. If anyone has any information about the whereabouts of this man, Eauz officials would really appreciate it. Quite possibly he wanted to get away from everything, and get back to nature...
Druida
18-01-2005, 16:42
Ladies and gentlemen, we give you,the results for matchday 5! (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7973795#post7973795)

In association with the Druidan Ministry of Technology and Breaking Things.
Sarzonia
18-01-2005, 17:17
Stars beat Vikings, take over first place in group

SAUGERTIES (ASP) -- Three matches against Fmjphoenix, three victories for the Sarzonian national team. Unlike the first two encounters in the 10th Cup of Harmony, this one featured back and forth action and the outcome wasn't decided until a rare goal by defender Corey Hemby provided the winning margin, 3-2 at the Snake Pit in Saugerties.

"We said from the very beginning of this tournament that the Vikings were a different team from the one we faced back then," Coach Dave Wilson said. "You saw an example of it out there today. They're a very good team and they will be a factor later on."

Forward Barry Alphonso, who has carved a stellar reputation for himself in the Cockbill Street league, gave the Stars an early 1-0 lead when he ran onto a loose ball in the box following a sprawling save by Vikings goalkeeper Powell Lamar. His tally in the 23rd minute came despite Fmjphoenix pressure that tested goalkeeper Troy Perkins early and often. Perkins eventually made eight saves out of 24 shots by the Vikings.

Fmjphoenix came right back to close the first half level at 1-1 with the help of a cynical challenge by defender Emacio. He earned his first yellow card of the tournament since the referee judged him to be going for the ball instead of the player, much to the Vikings chagrin. Mike Nolan pumped home the penalty in the 44th minute to send the teams to the locker room.

The Vikings took their first-ever lead against the Stars in the 61st minute again courtesy of Nolan. He beat a tentative Emacio to a loose ball in the box and he lofted the ball over an onrushing Perkins to put the Stars on their heels momentarily. Forward Brian Wilson struck back six minutes later to draw the match level after he yelled at his teammates to keep their heads in the game.

For the Stars, it looked as though that challenge would go for naught and the match would end in a 2-2 draw that would have seen fans calling for Dave Wilson's head. But Hemby rushed forward in a desperate effort to score the winner and his header soared into the net past Lamar for the winning tally.

"We'll take the win, no question," Brian Wilson said. "It was a lot closer than we wanted, but we'll take the three points."

Sarzonia is currently alone in first place with 15 points, two ahead of group top seed Total n' Utter Insanity. The Stars face Bedistan at Hendrix Stadium in Woodstock and expect a huge crowd in spite of the ongoing war between Sarzonia and its allies against Roach-Busters and Generic Empire.


Group 10 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Sarzonia 5 5 0 0 14 5 15 +9
Total n Utter Insanity 5 4 1 0 11 3 13 +8
Bedistan 5 3 2 0 9 4 11 +5
Fmjphoenix 5 2 0 3 11 9 6 +2
Haperd 5 2 0 3 7 9 6 -2
Qia 5 1 1 3 5 11 4 -6
Ninurta 5 1 0 4 3 13 0 -10
Nouveau Richelieu 5 0 0 5 4 10 0 -6
Talzeckia
18-01-2005, 17:39
Tides blanked by bottom feeders 2-0

The last thing Talzeckia football coach Avid Mashoda wanted to see from his charges was a loss in a game the team hoped to be able to win. Going into a World Cup where the team was a decided underdog in many of its matches, Mashoda knew that any win his team could muster would be precious.

However, the Tides continued their offensive struggles and were only able to muster three shots on Royal Engrand's goal en route to a 2-0 loss that left Mashoda numb at the postmatch press conference.

"What can I say? We're outclassed night after night but we've been able to come up with some great efforts out there," he said. "This was the worst effort we've put out there in the entire Cup and I'm disappointed about that."

Talzeckis were realistic about their team's chances at pulling off a miracle and qualifying in its first ever appearance at the World Cup, but they at least hoped to see the team compete in every match. Until the match against Royal Engrand, the team was able to point at its effort night after night and be proud of it. This time, they were outhustled by a team that was desperate to win for the first time in the Cup.

"I can accept losing," goalkeeper Nick Reynolds said. "But I can't accept a lack of effort. That's what we put out there last night. Right now, I'm ashamed to wear this kit." Reynolds then demonstrated that by stripping off his kit in front of television cameras that flashed the scene back to Talzecki televisions everywhere.

Tabloid papers all over Talzeckia -- and the infamous Woodstock Daily Mail were already on the scene and reports indicated that Reynolds moment of protest was the most widely TiVO'd moment in the history of Talzecki or Sarzonian television.

Mashoda grimaced when word came about Reynolds' act.

"The last thing we need is another side show," Mashoda muttered as he stepped out from behind the lecturn and walked back to the locker room.


Group 7 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Svecia 5 4 0 1 13 5 12 +8
Kylaai 5 4 0 1 9 2 12 +7
Adam Island 5 3 0 2 11 8 9 +3
Kaze Progressa 5 2 2 1 7 6 8 +1
Sliponia 5 2 1 2 10 8 7 +2
Talzeckia 5 1 1 3 2 11 4 -9
Royal Engrand 5 1 0 4 5 10 3 -5
GT-R 5 1 0 4 5 13 3 -8
Audioslavia
18-01-2005, 19:18
Total Football Terrifies Foes

When Dave Mill announced that Audioslavia's World Cup 20 side would be playing using the fabled 'total football' system, some were excited, but most were sceptical. None of the men play for a club side which plays it's football in the style, and critics were curious as to whether this Audioslavia side could pull it off.

Five weeks into qualifying, it all became clear.
Audioslavia 3-1 Spaam (Taavi 2, Marriot)
Giant Zucchini 0-3 Audioslavia (Araxie, McLlroy, Avari)
Audioslavia 2-0 East Lithuania (Crevan, Oskari)
San Verdi 0-1 Audioslavia (Marriot)
Audioslavia 1-0 One Red Dot (Jansen)

With the 'slaves ten goals being shared amongst eight different players, Total Football seems to be working. The first two matches saw Audioslavia steam-roll Spaam and Giant Zucchini as the opposition - who as old nations still adhere to traditional styles and formations - failed to cope with the chop/change game that the 'slaves played.

East Lithuania were slightly more trouble as the 'slaves made a bad habit of leaving themselves open at the back and succumbed to some heavy pressure from the Lithuanians, but that breakaway goal by Jussi Oskari opened up the doors for the 'slaves to attack and Oran Crevan's twenty-five yard drive sealed the game.

If theres any real criticism to be given out its for the side that played San Verdi. Leaving out several key players, the 'slaves struggled to keep up the pace and were often left with gaping holes in the midfield as the lesser experienced players struggled with the new system. A change to a more structured 4-4-2 in the second half got the team working and scoring. It is so far the only failure for the Total Football system.

Now, with that hard-earned win against One Red Dot, the 'slaves are sitting on top of the group with a comfortable lead over second placed Wella

Group 6 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Audioslavia 5 5 0 0 10 1 15 +9
Wella 5 3 2 0 13 7 11 +6
Spaam 5 2 2 1 10 6 8 +4
One Red Dot 5 2 1 2 7 6 7 +1
Snub Nose 38 5 1 1 3 5 8 4 -3
San Verdi 5 1 1 3 5 8 4 -3
East Lithuania 5 1 1 3 5 9 4 -4
Giant Zucchini 5 1 0 4 4 14 3 -10


Spaam lead the chasing pack a point ahead of One Red Dot, and four ahead of Snub Nose 38, East Lithuania and San Verdi who are all on four points each. Ex-champs Giant Zucchini are suprisingly in last place after a dissappointing start to the campaign.
Snub Nose 38
18-01-2005, 20:10
*we find ourselves in the cavernous office of the guy currently in charge of stuff for the frost free borderlands of snub nose 38 (tgcicosftffbosn38). scanning with our binoculars, we confirm that tgcicosftffbosn38 is indeed in the office, over there by what we would call a desk if it were reduced in size by a ratio of about 90 to 1. he appears to be reading the paper. a quick adjustment of the binoculars allows us to determine it's scuttlebutt...seems to be the sports pages. squinting through our binoculars, we see...*

Group 6
National Side P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Audioslavia 5 5 0 0 10 1 15 +9
Wella 5 3 2 0 13 7 11 +6
Spaam 5 2 2 1 10 6 8 +4
One Red Dot 5 2 1 2 7 6 7 +1
Snub Nose 38 5 1 1 3 5 8 4 -3
San Verdi 5 1 1 3 5 8 4 -3
East Lithuania 5 1 1 3 5 9 4 -4
Giant Zucchini 5 1 0 4 4 14 3 -10

*and then...well, had we waited a few seconds, we could have confirmed his presence by the thunderous utterances he...um...utters?*

- One win, one draw, and three loses?!?!
- ...your magnanimosity?
- One win, one draw, and THREE LOSES?!?!?!
- Um...yes, so it would seem, your largeness...
- A WIN, A DRAW, AND THREE LOSES!!!!!??
- ...I believe so, your great and powerful...
- Bring me the...um...the whosis...the whatsis...the...um....
- Manager, your humongousness?
- YES! And his entire staff! And that bozo in charge of the Ministry of Athletic, Olympics, and Whatnot! And that blue-hooded person that always seems to have something to do with whatever these bloody Hooligans do, or don't do!
- ...Margaret, your gr...?
- YES! Her! Now! Move it!

*we notice a little tiny dot rapidly moving away from the location of tgcicosftffbosn38. focusing our binoculars yet again, we see that it is...a little rabbit? a rabbit? hmmm...little miss muffet, anyone? we decide that the better part of valor mandates our departure before we are noticed. as discretion is our hallmark, we depart.*

-----------------------

Probably to be continued...but one never knows, do one?
Five Civilized Nations
18-01-2005, 21:29
Five Civilized Nations Continues to Lose . . . Defender, Zach Bacher Out of Cup

Even with its hard-fighing team of football players, the Five Civilized Nations has continued to lose, beginning with the 2 to 1 loss against Vilita and now with the 3 to 1 loss against Finrods.

A stunning blow to the confidence of the relatively inexperienced National Team. In a press conference given by the team, Head Coach Zhao Tong bluntly offered his thoughts on the subject. "We're rookies compared to the other team. We won almost every single game in the Baptism of Fire Cup, because we were facing against teams that possessed the same level of inexperience as us. But in the World Cup, we're facing against very experienced team. To put it simply, we're going to continue to lose. It's hard to predict the exact results, but I won't be surprised if we fail to qualify for the World Cup."

When asked to question about the Head Coach's comments, Assistant Coach Thomas Levy attempted to put a positive outlook on the matter. "We've beaten the 13th seed Lovisa, we barely lost in our matches against Nova Britannicus, Lykaia, and Vilita. Our match today against the Finrods was a disaster, exacerbated by our weak defense. In all cases, we've been outranked by our opponents on average by about 53 ranks. No wonder we've been losing our matches. However, our victory against Lovisa shows that we can perform well under the national level. The Five Civilized Nations will show other nations that we can excel under pressure."

Team Captain Ma Xiong was unavailable for comment.

Badly injured in today's loss against Finrods, the reserve defender, Zach Bacher is officially out of the World Cup. Head Coach Zhao Tong has called up Jonathon Cole [52], star defender of the St. Howards Tigers to replace the injured Bacher. Cole, a brilliant defender is expected to join the team for tomorrow's match.

In addition, to deal with the steadily weakening defense, the formation has been changed to 4-3-3.
Lethislavania
18-01-2005, 22:26
The game was a bloody rip-off.

He was off-sides, I tell ya, off-sides!
The Belmore Family
18-01-2005, 22:34
Alan Belmore brought back

Alan Belmore, it has been announced today, is back from the dead. Using the time machine recently discovered in TBF. Manager of Alan City, Prime Minister Alan Belmore said:

"It is truly amazing to get Alan back on the side for the EL CID match. I hope we can grow and prosper under his captaincy and he can do to us what he did to the great side of the past."

National Manager Jim Bahrain said:

"Aye, tis tee geed that we have wee Alan on beard. The wee quine will ensee that we gate a geed reseet in thee keep. Till bee knee preeblem."

No, we don't understand it either. But good luck to Alan and his pals in the upcoming matches.
East Lithuania
18-01-2005, 22:59
East Lithuania In Trouble



At East Lithuania's first time in the World Cup, the Great Whites show their lack of experiance falling to a win, a dray, and 3 losses. However, East Lithuania does not give up. It still is early... they still have a chance if they win the next few games.
Praying2God
19-01-2005, 00:47
David Tall (DT): Welcome back to the House of Prayer for the kick-off of today's match between the Warriors and Nevigrad. John isn't feeling to great, so we sent him home early. So, it's just going to be Lisa and me today. Nevigrad prepares to kick-off...there's the whistle, and we are under way in this important match for the Warriors. A win will keep them in the thick of the battle to qualify for the WC finals, whereas they would be doomed if they lost.


**26th minute**
DT: We continue to play a little over halfway through the first half of this match. The Warriors have the ball. Ashley Gore passes up to Amanda Tracy...who shoots...and it goes just wide. Nevigrad has looked impressive so far, haven't they Lisa?

Lisa Simonson (LS): They sure have, David. I'm sure many Warriors fans expected this to be a cakewalk for the Warriors, but they have been proved otherwise so far.

DT: That's right, Lisa. Nevigrad clearly has a determination in their eyes that we haven't seen from them before. The Warriors seem to be unsure of how to match it right now. This has definitely been an even match in every aspect.


**44th minute**
DT: The Warriors are on the attack again...Amanda Tracy brings the ball into the box...and she's hauled down by the Nevigrad defender...and that's going to be a penalty kick for the Warriors...I don't think there's any doubt as to who's going to take this shot if you're a Warriors fan. Sure enough, Thomas Larson, the only Warrior with multiple goals in the tournament, and has the game winning goal in both of the Warriors' wins so far...he's ready for the shot...the ref gives him the okay...he's approaching the ball...he shoots...the keeper dives for it...it's off the keeper's gloves...and bangs in off the left post!!! GGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Warriors lead 1-0 just before halftime as Thomas Larson converts a penalty shot for his third goal of the tournament.

LS: The Warriors caught a break there, David. A ball off the keeper's hands like that will generally go wide for a corner, but that ball had been placed just right, so it didn't have time to sneak outside of the post. Nice goal by Larson.


**Halftime**
DT: We're at halftime of the Warriors/Nevigrad match, with the Warriors leading 1-0 on a penalty shot goal by Thomas Larson. What do the Warriors need to do in the second half to put this match away?

LS: They need to keep playing solid defense. Nevigrad's chances haven't been nearly the quality of the Warriors' so far.

DT: It sounds like you're also implying that the Warriors need to start converting some of their chances.

LS: I suppose I was, now that you mention it.

DT: The Warriors certainly aren't playing their best ball today. I believe that Coach Johnson would be quite happy to take this score and go home with the three points right now, but we still have a lot of soccer to play.

LS: What do you expect to see in the second half?

DT: I expect the Warriors will play a highly defensive style. It's true that they would rather win convincingly, but they'll take the ugly win and the three points, rather than risk the draw.

LS: There's nothing ugly about you, baby!!! ;)


**Lots of kissing and makeout noises are heard throughout the second half** :fluffle:


**Post-match Wrap-up**
DT: The Warriors hold on to win 1-0 in a defensive slugfest. We've also just gotten word that with the other results in Group 3 today, the Warriors are currently sitting in third place, which would earn them a spot in the WC finals, if they can hold on to it. Any closing thoughts, Lisa?

LS: You are such a stud!!!

**more kissing and makeout noises are heard and the network goes to news** :fluffle:



Praying2God 1 Larson (44-pen)
Nevigrad 0




Group 3 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Crystilakere 5 4 1 0 11 1 13 +9
Jeruselem 5 3 1 1 9 5 10 +4
Praying2God 5 3 0 2 4 7 9 -3
Eystrck 5 2 2 1 8 7 8 +1
Iansisle 5 2 1 2 10 7 7 +3
Legalese 5 2 1 2 10 7 7 +3
South Osettia 5 0 2 3 7 15 2 -8
Nevigrad 5 0 0 5 1 10 0 -9
One Red Dot
19-01-2005, 01:24
cgwee: hey alvin
a_ker: hi chris
a_ker: so how did day 6 go?
cgwee: well, erm
a_ker: yes?
cgwee: well, it wasnt what we expected
a_ker: ahh, excellent..so it was exceptional?
cgwee: erm..
a_ker: cant you just get straight to the point?
cgwee: it was bad..
a_ker: ic, how bad?
cgwee: we lost the match..
a_ker: what!?!?
cgwee: it was against audi
a_ker: yeah, i know that, you already told me in that email, but so what? mayb at least a draw!
cgwee: hey, it wasn't easy, its audi you know! dont you know they are like the current champs?
a_ker: well, yes.. but... so what was the score?
cgwee: 0-1
a_ker: well, erm..that isn't too bad... maybe youre just too hard on yourself...
cgwee: but..
a_ker: look, no buts ok? the next match is against who?
cgwee: wella
a_ker: ok, now just lighten up, get the team going and give wella a good thumping ok? ;)
cgwee: ok
a_ker: good.. now ive got a meeting soon, so ive gtg.. ttyl
cgwee: ok, cya
a_ker signed off at 8:56:21 PM.
Eauz
19-01-2005, 01:32
Le Score

Alia and Eauz were coming into Rejistania riding a 4 game unbeaten streak, but didn’t like the fact that they were coming off of a poor match against Oceaice. Joseuf had a chat wit his team, and pretty much tried to get them prepared for the match of group 1. Joseuf also didn’t want fans to think that Eauz was once again the same team which does ok against easy teams and sucks it up against tough teams. The Eauz defence seemed to be strengthened, as they had only surrendered 3 goals in 4 matches. Rejistania though had not given up a goal at all, and had a lethal combination of offence and defence working for them.

The match started off with some tough play on both sides, as Alia got knocked down by the Rejistanian defence, when he went up to head a ball. He fell to the ground, but the referee let play continue. At the other end, Costé got away with an ugly tackle, cleats first (OUCH! Watch out!) which knocked a Rejistanian player down for a few minutes. The Player was fine, but Costé was lucky that he didn’t get himself sent off. Real football players finally showed up for this contest, as Costé sent a pass up field, which was intercepted by a Rejistanian mid-fielder. The player brought the ball up, and passed it to the middle, where a forward was waiting. The kick would have left Bedeau without a chance, if it didn’t go wide. Fast-forward to the 32nd minute of play, when Eauz was on the offence. Rousseau was setting the play, as he found Vasser open. Vasser took the shot, which deflected off of a Rejistanian player and into the net. The Rejistanian keeper dove, but couldn’t have had a chance with the deflection. He was left pounding the ground in frustration. This goal gave Eauz a break, as many assumed Eauz would not win this match. This goal left fans shocked, as they didn’t want to see Eauz come into their country again and take another match away from the home side. The first half ended the same way it started, with a lot of frustration and tough play.

In the second half, most of the people in the stadium were wondering where their once great team went, as it appeared that Eauz was the dominant team in this match. The 67th minute of play saw a shot from Theodoric, which clanked off the woodwork. It came back, and Alia was there to head it, but this time, the Rejistanian keeper was there to stop it. Eauz’s strategy in the 2nd half was mainly to defend and continue defending, as they didn’t care about the loan goal, they just wanted to make sure Rejistania didn’t score or get on a roll. The final result though would be in Eauz’s favour, as they left Rejistania with 3 points and knocked them down to 2nd place in the standings. After the match, both teams drank the traditional Rejistanian beverage of fresh Rejistanian Coffee. The next match for Eauz will come from Shonar Bangla, who should be another tough match for Eauz.


Group 1 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Eauz 5 4 1 0 12 3 13 +9
Rejistania 5 4 0 1 9 1 12 +8
Krytenia 5 2 3 0 7 3 9 +4
Shonar Bangla 5 2 2 1 7 6 8 +1
Oceaice 5 2 2 1 7 6 8 +1
Lamoni 5 1 0 4 3 14 3 -11
Limp Wristed Fish 5 0 1 4 3 9 1 -6
Pterodactyl 5 0 1 4 3 9 1 -6


Match Day 1: Pterodactyl @ Eauz W 0 - 2
Match Day 2: Eauz @ Lamoni W 4 - 1
Match Day 3: Limp Wristed Fish @ Eauz W 0 - 3
Match Day 4: Eauz @ Oceaice T 2 - 2
Match Day 5: Eauz @ Rejistania W 1 - 0
Match Day 6: Eauz @ Shonar Bangla
Match Day 7: Krytenia @ Eauz

Match Day 8: Eauz @ Pterodactyl
Match Day 9: Lamoni @ Eauz
Match Day 10: Eauz @ Limp Wristed Fish
Match Day 11: Oceaice @ Eauz
Match Day 12: Rejistania @ Eauz
Match Day 13: Shonar Bangla @ Eauz
Match Day 14: Eauz @ Krytenia
Bedistan
19-01-2005, 02:54
The Sonoma City Herald
DISASTER IN TnUI
(sorry for the size 7 headline, but it's really bad news)

Somewhere, TOTAL N UTTER INSANITY -- The disaster we speak of is not the Bedistan Green-Blues' fifth World Cup 20 qualifying match. No, that was actually fairly decent, resulting in a 1-1 draw. The disaster is what happened to the team afterward.

As the team bus pulled out of whatever stadium the match took place in, it was suddenly hit by a tractor-trailer on the main road. Police reports state that the tractor-trailer was traveling a great deal faster than the 55 km/h speed limit on the road. Thankfully, buses are built very strongly, and although the bus was totalled, it is not believed that any of the players within suffered life-threatening (or even career-threatening) injuries. As standard procedure, all 28 people on board were flown to a nearby hospital, considered to be one of the best in TnUI. As yet, we have no word on the players' condition, but we will be certain to keep you updated.

This, of course, puts in jeopardy the team's ability to play their next match in Sonoma City against Sarzonia, but as that match is still two weeks away, we are pretty certain the team will make a full recovery.

(ooc: alas, a rl reference, though slightly exaggerated. no, i wasn't personally involved, though it severely impacts me. please remind me never to get out of bed on a tuesday again.)
Krytenia
19-01-2005, 05:11
THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

Point Taken, More To Prove

FOOTBALL was the winner on a gloriously sunny day in Shonar Bangla. These two evenly-matched sides battered themselves to a collective standstill in a hail of chances. The only surprise (mainly thanks to the two goalkeepers) was that only one chance apiece was taken.

Shonar started the more positive, and Adil Siddiqui should have put the side in front. In making the save that denied Siddiqui, however, Adam Vernazza popped his shoulder and will be out for the next couple of months. With Barry Tournier nursing a head cold and watching the game from his hotel room in Mohun Bagan, it came to young James Barcali to attempt to keep Krytenia on level terms. He proved his worth on forty-one minutes as Murtaza Bhaimia beat the offside trap, only for Barcali to advance and cut out the Shonar striker's route to goal. The teams went into the half-time break all square.

The second half was much more open, and more chances were created. It was not from open play though, that the first goal was created. Bhaimia was pulled down just inside the box by Celestials captain Marshall Warzycha, which meant both a Shonar penalty and a straight red card. Bhaimia himself thumped the penalty towards the bottom corner, yet somehow Barcali managed to push it away. The ball was, however, met ten yards out by Siddiqui, who tucked it past the prone Barcali and into the net.

It was not to be for the hosts though, and as the ten men of Krytenia searched for the equaliser, it came with just six minutes to spare. Rimmer and Moreaux had been marked all game, and as a searching ball came through the middle, the two strikers ran across each other, confusing the defenders and allowing a path for Stephen Renshaw to latch onto the ball and pick his spot. Utsav Banerjee never stood a chance.

A one-all draw was maybe not the ideal result for the Celestials, but it was a point well earned. Munitis' men will be happy with a point from their next game, as Rejistania, officially the fourth best team in the world, visit Everton City. The first meeting of the Celestials and Orange-Blues will be, in a word,
huge.

See you there!

SHONAR BANGLA..........1
Siddiqui 56
KRYTENIA....................1
Renshaw 84
Fmjphoenix
19-01-2005, 06:33
Vikings play hard but fail to pull of upset against Sarzonia

Despite the double strike by Mike Nolan, Fmjphoenix could not hold on to draw with the Stars to lose its third match against Sarzonia and its third in World Cup 20 by the score of 3-2. Although the Vikings lost to the Stars for the third time in a row, they remain upbeat as they nearly went into a higher rated teams home and nearly came out victorious.

This was a tough match for the Vikings. They new coming into the match it would be a fight to the end. Brian Wilson was the first player to take a shot, but a great dive sprawled Powell Lamar out and he was not able to react for the putback by Barry Alphonso to put the Stars up 1-0 at the 23rd minute. Then came more going back and forth until the 44th minute when Mike Nolan was coming up but was hit hard by Stars Defender Emacio, giving him a yellow card, although Coach James Wash though it should have been a red. After a small chat with the referee, Wash quit trying to argue and went back to watch Nolan slam the penelty shot into the back of the net to tie it up at 1 all to end the first half.

When the teams came back for te second half, the Vikings looked revitalized and ready to play tough again. Sure enough, Mike Nolan provided a spark by beating out a more caucious Emacio and kicked the ball softly over a rushing Troy Perkins to put its second goal of the match in and takes its first ever lead against Sarzonia 2-1 at the 61st minute. Sadly for the Vikings, Brian Wilson came up hard 6 minutes later and finished what he stated in the first half putting one past Lamar to draw the game a 2 a piece. Both teams did not want to ceede a single goal to the other during the last 20 minutes, but a fierce Stars attack lead by Defender Corey Hemby caught the Vikings off-guard as they were not expecting a rush from the defender, but from the two headed dragon of their strikers. But as the clock went to 90:00, Hemby fired a desperate shot that Lamar was a step behind and could not reach out to get, and that, as they say, is that.

Despite the 3-2 loss, the Vikings players and coaches feel very upbeat about their chances against the top seed of Group 10, Total n Utter Insanity. TnUI and Fmjphoenix have played one match in the Under 21 championship with the Sevens edging out the Junior Vikings 4-3. Now with U21 starts Brown and Mitchell on the senior squad, they are hoping to take it to TnUI in hopes of pulling through for the win that they just barely could not get before. The Vikings will be practicing early at the Vikings Sports Complex early to be ready for what they are hoping to turn into a turnaround match. Close to this time last World Cup, they were facing a similar situation sitting back a few points out of 3rd place and when they pulled out an amazing victory over The Eagles Nest to the tune 1-0. The Vikings are hoping for a similar action against TnUI.

Right now the Vikings are in 4th place in Group 10, 5 points behind Bedistan for 3rd. Expect the Vikings to be swarming all over the pitch hoping to win consecutive wins for the first time this World Cup.

Fmjphoenix: 2
(Nolan 44, 61)

Sarzonia: 3
(Alphonso 21| Wilson 67| Hemby 90+)

World Cup XX Qualification:
MD01: Fmjphoenix vs. Nouveau Richelieu Win 4-2
MD02: Fmjphoenix @ Haperd Lose 1-2
MD03: Fmjphoenix vs. Qia Lose 0-1
MD04: Fmjphoenix @ Ninurta Win 4-1
MD05: Fmjphoenix @ Sarzonia Lose 2-3
MD06: Fmjphoenix vs. Total n Utter Insanity
MD07: Fmjphoenix @ Bedistan
------------------------------------------------
MD08: Fmjphoenix @ Noveau Richelieu
MD09: Fmjphoenix vs. Hapred
MD10: Fmjphoenix @ Qia
MD11: Fmjphoenix vs. Ninurta
MD12: Fmjphoenix vs. Sarzonia
MD13: Fmjphoenix @ Total n Utter Insanity
MD14: Fmjphoenix vs. Bedistan
Record: 2-0-3
Praying2God
19-01-2005, 06:44
John Carlson (JC): Welcome to the House of Prayer for today's match between the Warriors and South Osettia. This match is highly anticipated because of the trash talking going on between the teams for several weeks now.

David Tall (DT): Welcome back, John. You certainly look better than you did the last time we saw you. These teams certainly have a lot of confidence coming into this match...or at least they're acting very confident. I'm not sure that South Osettia really has any confidence because they haven't won a match yet during qualifying. On the other hand, the Warriors have shutout their last two opponents at home, and are currently third in Group 3, and would qualify for the WC finals if they were to begin today, but we still have a long way to go. I would not be surprised if the Warriors take all nine points on this three match homestand.

Lisa Simonson (LS): I also wish to extend you a warm welcome back, John. South Osettia is going to be a tough match for the Warriors. They may be winless, but they have been competitive, even with the best teams in the group. A Warriors win here will help to cement their place amongst the best teams in the group.

JC: Thank you both for your welcomes. I heard about your...exploits...in my absence. What do you expect to see today?

LS: This should be a very close match. Both teams had bulletin board worthy material provided to them by the opposition, so they're going to come in motivated. The capacity crowd here at the House of Prayer may prove to be the difference in this match. Whichever team comes out of this match with a win will have a lot of momentum on their side as we round out the first half of qualifying with the next set of matches.

DT: Both teams will have to guard against over-confidence coming in, especially South Osettia, as they're a little too sure of themselves for a team who hasn't won a match yet. The Warriors are also coming in perhaps a little too full of confidence after shutting out their last two opponents in here. If one team or the other is overly confident, then the other team will have a huge advantage.

JC: What are the keys to this match?

DT: The Warriors are going to try to get control of the tempo of this match early and slow the match down. They don't want to get into a high-scoring match, as they don't have the offense to win that type of a match.

LS: On the contrary, South Osettia wants this match to be up tempo. That's just the way they play. The Warriors may have proven that they can handle some teams' aggressive attacking styles, but the South Osettia attack is like nothing they've seen so far. South Osettia wants to score early and often, and get this match out-of-reach early.

JC: What are your predictions for the outcome?

LS: South Osettia will control the tempo of this match, but Sarah Walker will be up to the task and keep the Warriors in the match. However, the Warriors will have just as much success on the offensive end as South Osettia will, as this match ends in a 0-0 draw.

DT: The Warriors control the tempo for the first half and build a lead, but then South Osettia will try to make a run in the second half, but they won't be able to complete the comeback. Warriors win 3-2.

JC: Both teams are overly confident, which will lead to an ugly match on both sides, with plenty of mistakes. However, the Warriors won't make as many mistakes as South Osettia. Warriors win their third straight 2-1.

DT: I find it interesting that neither of you two went with the oddsmakers and predicted South Osettia to win.

LS: South Osettia may be higher ranked, but the Warriors are at home.

JC: We need to take a commercial break. We'll be back for the opening kick-off to this important qualifying match between the Warriors and South Osettia.
Raptor Claw
19-01-2005, 09:22
Raptors getting clawed

The Raptors started the World Cup 20 with a very good victory over Harlesburg and were ready to make an try to return to the world cup finals no more cup of harmony. Then the Raptors started to do poor again. It was a loss against Slaikau that the Raptors did not score a goal and gave up a goal to the Slaikau team that is not very good. Then another not very good team comes and the raptors with another not very good loss. The next not very good loss was against Nonesuch Street. It doesnt exist I look it up on the map. They score two not very good goals against the raptors who look more like little pecking ducks dancing on their heads with a piece of candy on their feet. This is how not very good the raptors were against Nonesuch Street.

This is the reason that all the raptors were not looking forward to the game with Pedriana. Another not very good team who were probably going to beat Raptor Claw just like the rest of them. Will the raptors ever win again? Yes they would. The raptors finally won again and against the not very good team of Pedriana. Imat Arget scored the first goal of the world cup 20 for the raptors against Pedriana. Runni Naroun who scored both of the goals against Harlesburg scored the other goal against Pedriana for Raptor Claw.

After the win the raptors were very excited hoping that they would be able to turn their fortunes around and start winning some more games to make the world cup final match in Druida and Starblaydia for the first time in a since the last time. The raptors would not be happy again although they did score a goal and the scorer of the goal was again Runni Naroun, he was playing okay but the rest of the raptors were very bad and they lost to The Belmore Family. It is not the same as a loss to the not very good teams because the Belmore Family hosted the last world cup number 19 with Turori so they are better but they are also a cup of harmony team and this means they are to be beaten by the raptors. not today. The raptors have a lot of improve to do if they will make the world cup final. if they do not it will be another time in the cup of harmony for Raptor Claw.

Raptor Claw [2] Harlesburg [1]
Slaikau [1] Raptor Claw [0]
Raptor Claw [0] Nonesuch Street [2]
Pedriana [0] Raptor Claw [2]
The Belmore Family 2 Raptor Claw 1
Liverpool England
19-01-2005, 09:56
OOC: Ain't this a bitch. Since when does ten RPs of good length and quality make a 2-0-3 record for a 24th ranked team? IC RP to be edited in soon.

EDIT: IC:

SyKu LyKu given new warning
Win next match or face the sack

MATCHDAY 5 RECAP
LIVERPOOL ENGLAND 1-2 THE WEEGIES Grover's Park, Orean

Syku Lyku has been given a new ultimatum by the by-now-impatient FALE. The team's miserable 2-0-3 record sees them outside the three qualifying places, and two consecutive losses on the trot to major opponents has Paul Dussis fuming. Lyku has been told that he will face the sack if Liverpool England fail to win at home to Squornshelous (Past Record: No exact stats, but it is a highly impressive record) - which would make him the 3rd manager in Liverpool England history to last less than 10 World Cup Finals/Qualifying matches (Lyku took charge of the team throught the WC19 Cup of Harmony).

The match was a dull one until Liverpool England's already unpleasant discipline record took another hit, a second yellow card for substitute forward Josh Bone, brought into the squad for this game due to the team being hit by suspension. The Weegian team took the opportunity and never looked back, scoring two in quick succession to put the game beyond doubt.

Editors Note: There will not be a Matchday 6 Preview available, due to the team's miserable record. The RP machine TEN use in their games, well, a working replica has been ordered. That's when we'll start previewing matches.
Rejistania
19-01-2005, 10:26
OOC: Why are you messing up OOC and IC? Rejis the player really likes coffee, in the nation, it is not drunken that much.

IC:
Eauzian cameraman found

An eauzian cameraman, who travelled with the, or rather Le, Libre to take embarrassing pictures of national players was reported missing on the day before the match. Days after the match, he was found in Jinhes kali apparently suffering from amnesia. He had no idea who he was, where he was or what happened before the time of a few hours.

Jacques Luxembourg was found on a park bench in central Jinhes, he looked utterly confused and spoke utterly incoherent in a language not known to the passer-bys. Since his clothes were dirty and mere rags, and he seemed to be drugged since he seemed to be incapable of speaking (later it was found out that he simply did not speak Rejistanian, Rebja, Jisu, Majuveda or the other languages, which were tried) social workers were informed about him. Xatii Mikil spoke French and so found out about his amnesia. At the moment, he is in the Central hospital in Jinhes.

The Rejistani police needs help with the following questions:
* What happened to him in the days where he disappeared?
* How did he get from Sike kali or KaMaRi kali (reports are not exactly clear on where the national team was, even though the match took place in KaMaRi, the Eauzian press reported to arrive in the Rejistani capital) to Jinhes, which is several hundreds of kilometres away?


Orange-Blues concede

This match did not takee place in Kalisimu or Karela, where it would have been a more-than minor disgrace, but in one of the capitals of attacking soccer: in Sen-La-Sa~o, Riandu, KaMaRi. That at least allowed it the team to leave the pitch without having to hear nasty chants about the "all out attack". The Rejistanis played a System Imdila, which would count as such (at least in fan chants) in Karela or Kalisimu. it went well for most of the match, but in the 32nd minute, an attack by the French-speaking socialists went through the rejistani defense like a warm knife through butter and also Menik Hisda could not parry the shot. Despite having some chances in the match, the Orange-Blues could not capitalise them. Siki Rej simply reminded of the 'good old times' after the match: "Remember when people said 'It's not a loss if it's lower than 0:3'? This was a good match, but we were on the unlucky side of it."

The score:
Rejistania 0
Eauz 1 (Vasser 32nd)
Tadjikistan
19-01-2005, 10:29
A loss, but not Lost

Dushanbe - The Tigers were doing good in the qualifications, but their egood results came to an abrupt end against Oaker. The Tigers gave away too much in the first half and saw Oaker get a 0-2 lead. The Tadjiks fell out of that nice dream they were living in and now had to turn back a match that was almost lost.

Luchinsky threw in Vladimir Lvov to strengthen the defense while he gave his men instructions to break down Oakers wall. Ter Gasparian brought the Tigers close to a draw when he scored the first Tadjik goal in the 67th minute, but it was not enough. The Tadjiks made only two good moves and both ended in the hands of Oakers goalkeeper.
Coach Luchinsky wasnt too happy but relativated everything 'Its still early in the qualifications and a single loss doesnt mean all is lost. Sure we're going up against the best two teams of our group now but we will do what everything in our power to stay in the top three.

The loss here in Dushanbe threw the Tigers off their first position in group 5 and sent Oaker over Lethislavania to the third spot. The Tigers have a long and hard road in front of them. The next two matches are going to be the thougest on that route for Tadjikistan, facing The Lowland Clans and Turori. But the Tigers achieved some of their most beautiful victories against stronger teams in the past and we believe they can do it again


MD1:Tadjikistan - Wickerslack W 3-0
MD2:Irenadia - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD3:Tadjikistan - Lethislavania D 0-0
MD4:Spurland - Tadjikistan W 0-4
MD5:Tadjikistan - Oaker L 1-2
MD6:Tadjikistan - The Lowland Clans
MD7:Turori - Tadjikistan
MD8:Wickerslack - Tadjikistan
MD9:Tadjikistan - Irenadia
MD10:Lethislavania - Tadjikistan
MD11:Tadjikistan - Spurland
MD12:Oaker - Tadjikistan
MD13:The Lowland Clans - Tadjikistan
MD14:Tadjikistan - Turori

Group 5
Turori 2 The Lowland Clans 1
Tadjikistan 1 Oaker 2
Lethislavania 0 Spurland 1
Wickerslack 1 Irenadia 0


Group 5 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Turori 5 4 1 0 13 5 13 +8
Tadjikistan 5 3 1 1 10 2 10 +8
Oaker 5 3 1 1 8 6 10 +2
Lethislavania 5 2 1 2 5 4 7 +1
The Lowland Clans 5 2 0 3 8 6 6 +2
Wickerslack 5 1 1 3 5 10 4 -5
Spurland 5 1 1 3 3 12 4 -9
Irenadia 5 1 0 4 2 9 3 -7


OOC:Just hope my group stats are right!
Iansisle
19-01-2005, 10:42
Somewhere in Audioslavia

"This really brings back good memories of World Cup XII," said Sir Gregory, reclining in his easy chair and flopping the sports section of his newspaper on the floor. "Audioslavia's winning everything in sight, we're slowly slipping from our once glorious peak into faded memories, and...well, I suppose that's about it."

"I'm pretty sure this is a breach of your vows to uphold the honor of the national teams in all circumstances, sir - and certainly of the vow to destroy all Audioslavians and drink their blood!" retorted Calloway. "I mean, you even tipped our waiter!"

"Just wait, man, just wait," replied Sir Gregory with a wag of his finger. "All part of a grand master scheme, yes."
Cockbill Street
19-01-2005, 11:46
Ankh-Morpork C-mail

Street Concede Three?!
What Happened To Karela?

Uh oh. After a great Cockbill Street effort in the first four matches, conceding one goal in 360 minutes, it suddenly all went awry against the Odd Slaves of Oddslavo. Within the space of the first fifteen minutes of the game, the Streetians had conceded two goals and were suddenly unlearning everything they had learned about defensive football. Oddslavo ran through the middle defence, which was altogether too static, perhaps lulled into confidence by the easy opposition that the team had met and trounced so far.

However, this Streetian team does seem to have a remarkable spirit. Despite the "suicidally attacking charge," as an interpreter for Kansu Lyku described the change from 5-3-2 to 4-1-2-1-2 in the middle of the half, the Streetians found their rhythm and organisation in the back four again, and the attacking play became more structured, organised and, most importantly, gave the Streetians chances to score. A couple of shots were harmlessly headed over the bar before the 30th minute strike from Olaf Heimfoething that nibbled the post before making the net into an ice cone - 1-2, and the National were back on their feet, sensing a miracle. The Street, buoyed by their achievements, knew that they had to score goals, but trusted on their Oddslavan opposition to make the necessary mistakes and didn't bother to attack too early. A wise choice, it turned out, because an Oddslavan defender fouled McLavish on the edge of the area, John Swytherton took the free-kick, which neatly floated over the wall, under the bar, and into the net again.

Two all at half-time, and the Streetians had come back from what seemed an impossible position. Kansu Lyku seemed satisfied, and again the Streetians withdrew Axewielder into the central defense and restored their normal 5-3-2. But today, that tactic did just not seem to work. The midfield was overrun, the three central defenders couldn't agree on who was supposed to tackle, and poor Underwood seemed like he had soap on his hands as the loose shot from an Oddslavan striker trickled under his legs for 2-3 - surely the end of the match.

Not at all. Axewielder was substituted for old workhorse Mark Bitton, who assumed a position behind Heimfoething to try and win the ball in midfield, while Swytherton went off for Alan Canning to try and get some strike force up front. And although Kansu Lyku is fiercely opposed to three strikers, sometimes it's just necessary - and indeed, can be fruitful. A long, seemingly hopeless ball from Galena (stop me if you've heard this one before) ended up on the head of Moissanite, Rhianna Peters rushed in behind the defenders, and made the first goal of a Streetian striker in the game. Six minutes later, she was at it again, kneeing in a corner kick that was first cleared off the line. Suddenly, the National erupted with glee, knowing that the distance down to the non-qualifying zone had been extended to a whopping eight points. With Commerce Heights beating Dance 2 Revolution away as well, the Streetians were suddenly far, far away on top of the table.

With the final 4-3 result - and a red look of shame on the coach's face for the team having played so poorly at the back - the Streetians are in a very good position before the last nine games. But it is important not to rest on the laurels, despite being one of five teams who have won five matches in a row (the others being Sarzonia, Vilita, Nova Britannicus (!) and Audioslavia).. Cockbill Street play Commerce Heights next at the National, a key game against a team just returning to form - a win would almost secure qualification, as the Street would likely lead by ten or eleven points over the fourth-placed team, while a draw would be a good starting point before the away match in Dance 2 Revolution.

Cockbill Street 4 (Heimfoething 30, Swytherton 41, Peters 72, 78)
Oddslavo 3 (??? 9, ??? 15, ??? 61)

Cockbill Street ratings: Underwood 5 - Stronginthearm 5, Dwarfclobberer 6, Galena 6 (Golddevourer on 86), Axewielder 4 (Bitton on 59 7), Walker 5 - McLavish 6, Heimfoething 6, Swytherton 5 - Peters 6, Moissanite 7

Cockbill Street 5 5 0 0 14 4 15 +10
Dance 2 Revolution 5 4 0 1 11 6 12 +5
Big Pimento 5 3 0 2 7 9 9 -2
Oddslavo 5 2 1 2 10 9 7 +1
Commerce Heights 5 2 1 2 8 8 7 0
Kipto-Mare 5 1 1 3 6 10 4 -4
Korinthos 5 1 0 4 7 11 3 -4
Aust 5 0 1 4 1 7 1 -6
Liverpool England
19-01-2005, 12:34
OOC: When I say IC RP to be edited in, I mean that I'll do this:

Example:

OOC: Blah di blah di blah.

EDIT: IC:
IC stuff IC stuff.

And now, please refer to my ealier post for my edited in RP.
Jeruselem
19-01-2005, 13:07
Jeruselem Government News

The blade is sharp!

Jeruselem faced Legalese in test to see who was fit to be in the top 3 of Group 3 while World Cup 19 winners Crystilakere clashed with Iansisle.

First the minor results.

Eystrck outshot South Osettia in a 5-3 thriller where defenses were paper thin. South Osettia are known for their high scoring games and losing them, but Eystrck had more bullets and took a critical win.

Praying2God played rookie Nevigrad, and was expected to win. They did, but it was only 1-0.

The big game, Iansisle vs the World Cup 19 winner. Once again Crystilakere who seem to have the winning streak over it's rival won again. The win was 3-1 but Iansisle was far from disgraced. It's hard to stop the Crystilakere juggernaught.

Legalese had once met Jeruselem in the U21s and they lost. The result was much the same with Jeruselem's attack firing goals 4 and conceding 2. It did start badly with Himie Silverstein, the captain, leaving the field with an injury and was replaced by a rookie. The defense failed to settle, so Legalese scored two goals to give them the half time lead. Vice-captain Louis Levant rallied the troops in the 2nd half with his left-side incursions into the Legalese defense, then the Jeruselem attack took advance forcing corners. Legalese crumbled and let in 4 goals in 20 minutes as they saw their lead turn into a deficit.

Himie Silverstein has a confirmed broken foot and will not be able to play out the rest of World Cup. Louis Levant was confirmed the new captain and Jesus Jones is now vice-captain.

Louis spoke to Anna Goldstein of JGN "It's sad to see a player of Himie's status to miss out after World Cup 18 and 19. He wanted to do better in 20, but it's now upto to me to make things right. We're doing well, but we can do better. We won't match Crystilakere's success, but if D2R can make the finals so can we. And if anyone asks, all rumours of our new nickname of the Jew-Blues is totally false."

Group 3
Crystilakere 3 Iansisle 1
Jeruselem 4 (Levant 60, Shabmaran 65, Gregorium 71, Kadir Abbas 80) Legalese 2
Eystrck 5 South Osettia 3
Praying2God 1 Nevigrad 0
South Osettia
19-01-2005, 13:42
Eystrck outshot South Osettia in a 5-3 thriller where defenses were paper thin. South Osettia are known for their high scoring games and winning them, but Eystrck had more bullets and took a critical win.

(OOC: Eystrck 5-3 South Osettia, Cacobellum 7-6 South Osettia, South Osettia 8-8 Cockbill Street - need I say more?)

IC: Day 6, and I was in too much of a drunken stupor to know who we were playing today, or indeed to remember that it was my birthday. Polly reminded me.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" She threw cards and gifts at me, none of which I felt like opening, and when she realised this she sat down quietly. "Come on, we're going to win today, I can feel it in my Islets of Langahans."

"You feel success in your pancreas?"

"Some sort of illness. I've got pills." She held up a bottle of big blue pills, which she then shoved in her drawer.

"Oh...right. Say, has Cary been round yet?"

"Oh yeah, he told me to give you this note." She handed me a slip of paper. Slips of paper had usually been a bad omen for me, but today it was not:

NO MORE TESTS - GETTING BORED OF GAME - FINDING NEW VICTIM

"Oh, some good news for once."

"What?"

"Cary's finally decided to stop testing me. I think I passed."

"If he saw you now you'd be out the door."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"It really wasn't one."

"Look at my face. Does it look like I care?" It didn't.

"So how old are you today?"

"25."

"No, really."

"29."

"No, really."

"37."

"No, really."

"43."

"No, really."

"I actually am 43."

"Come on, you look a lot older than that. How old are you?"

"I'm 43, goddammit!" I slammed my fists on the table, and she got the message.

"Emmett, you're killing yourself, you know that? I hope we win today, for your sake."

"What does the die say will happen?"

"Oh, I've given that up."

"Why?"

"I thought it was time to stop when it told me to run down to the shop naked and buy some bread."

"Who are we playing today?"

"Nevigrad...I think."

"We've beaten them before, haven't we?"

"Yes, in the BoF. 2-0." Ah...the days of old, when we actually won games. I remembered them well. Nostalgia took over, but I beat it back with a pointy stick and regained consciousness.

"Are you alright, Emmett? You fell asleep and then fell out of your chair. You hit your head on the corner of the desk and had a massive brain haemorrage (sp?) too." Indeed, there was a pool of blood by my head, but I felt strangely calm and collected. Before me stood God himself. He pointed at me with a big finger and said:

"THOU SHALT BEAT NEVIGRAD. THOU SHALT BEAT P2G. THOU SHALT BEAT ALL!"

I think it was a dream. Now Polly stood over me again.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just pour the blood back in through my ear. I think that does the trick." I hoped God was right, but if we had the word of the divine, then surely we would win...wouldn't we?

"Oh wait, we're not playing Nevigrad today! We're playing P2G!" Bugger.

(OOC: I might get back to semi-decent RPs if I win today.)
Spurland
19-01-2005, 14:18
Lose One, Win One, Still Near Bottom.
Spurland 0 v 4 Tadjikistan

Spurland lost for the second time in the qualifying campaign by a 4-0 scoreline, this time against Tadjikistan. The Spurland manager really wanted something out of the game to get his team back on track. From the start it looked unlikely.

Tadjikistan had a number of attacks in the opening few minutes with the goal coming after a hard tackle by Albert Kaholic, which warranted a yellow card, scored by Kirponos. The second goal of the half came from Ter Gasparian. Goalkeeper Break was visible dissatisfied with his defence after the whistle blew to signal the end of the first half.

He would not be too pleased with his defences performance of the second half either. Goals from Zarakovsky and a deflected one from Koshevoi made the result certain despite a late Spurland push, with Alekseev denying Wolf an almost certain goal near the end.

Tadjik hooligans attempted to create trouble on the streets after the game. The Spurland Police initially tried to arrest the trouble makers and throw them in jail, but then it soon became clear there were just too many of them. This led to a unique solution thought up by the Police, free beer for all. This ensured that all the hooligans went off the streets and into the nearest bar, and soon drank themselves to sleep.

No further trouble was reported.

Lethislavania 0 v 1 Spurland

Following their recent loss in Tadjikistan, leaving them at the bottom of the table, Spurland had a point to prove against Lethislavania. Both sides started the game positively, creating numerous chances at either end.

Both keepers were in fine form, it was Spurland keeper Breach who was tested first with a long range effort from Lethislavania striker Cel Karra. Jorge del Tigre Plato also had his fair share of shots to deal with as well. It was that it would take something special to beat either keeper, who were keeping everything out.

The something special came on the 78th minute, with the Lethislavania keeper being the one to concede. Striker Hashish scored the goal after a lovely pass from the wing by midfielder Manali. Hashish was later named man of the match.

”Finally we get a victory. We needed this one. I believe we put in a lot of effort over the last few games with little reward, finally some luck comes our way,” said Hashish after the game.

Manager Morzaria was also clearly delighted with the first win, he was seen buying beers for a few lucky fans after the game in the nearest pub. He was later reported to have said that his team would win the next game against Wickerslack by 4-0, although there are no reports of his soberness at the time.

FIXTURES/RESULTS
MD01: The Lowland Clans v Spurland L 4-0
MD02: Spurland v Turori L 0-2
MD03: Oaker v Spurland D 2-2
MD04: Spurland v Tadjikistan L 0-4
MD05: Lethislavania v Spurland W 1-0
MD06: Wickerslack v Spurland
MD07: Spurland v Irenadia
MD08: Spurland v The Lowland Clans
MD09: Turori v Spurland
MD10: Spurland v Oaker
MD11: Tadjikistan v Spurland
MD12: Spurland v Lethislavania
MD13: Spurland v Wickerslack
MD14: Irenadia v Spurland


Expected Line-Up v Wickerslack (4-4-2)
1. Xavier Breach

2. Marcus Abbot
3. Albert Kaholic
18. Peter Head
5. Andy Lambert

6. Graham Mead
8. Richard Oldman
9. Robbie Manali
15. Jon Cream

10. Martin Wolf
20. Tokai Hashish

Group 5 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Turori 5 4 1 0 13 5 13 +8
Tadjikistan 5 3 1 1 10 2 10 +8
Oaker 5 3 1 1 8 6 10 +2
Lethislavania 5 2 1 2 5 4 7 +1
The Lowland Clans 5 2 0 3 8 6 6 +2
Wickerslack 5 1 1 3 5 10 4 -5
Spurland 5 1 1 3 3 12 4 -9
Irenadia 5 1 0 4 2 9 3 -7
Druida
19-01-2005, 16:02
Unnamed helper: "Sir, we've had a few calls in from nations around the world. Apparently, they want to know how their teams are doing in the World Cup."

President Smith: "So what are they ringing us for?"

Unnamed helper: "They seem to thing that we have the results of all the games for matchday six here, and are keeping them secret from the world."

President Smith: "That's absurd! How could we possibly be doing that?"

Unnamed helper: "I have no idea, sir."

President Smith: "Well, perhaps you should tell them how exactly they should be finding them!"

Unnamed helper: "Which is?"

President Smith: "In the scores thread. (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7982335#post7982335)"

Unnamed helper: "I'll tell them straight away, sir."
Total n Utter Insanity
19-01-2005, 16:27
DISASTER IN TnUI
Somewhere, TOTAL N UTTER INSANITY -- The disaster we speak of is not the Bedistan Green-Blues' fifth World Cup 20 qualifying match. No, that was actually fairly decent, resulting in a 1-1 draw. The disaster is what happened to the team afterward.

The Insanician match against Bedistan had to be moved from the Insane Dome, to the outskirts of the capital, in a town called Somewhere. Somewhere is home to the Slack Tongue Wanderers and their 75 thousand-seater stadium, Turfless, witnessed a match worthy of a World Cup Finals Match. Bedistan started off strong, which shocked many people, including the second rate starting defence, who expected Bedistan to roll over and play dead. The Bedistani forwards kept pressing, but were denied, by the goalkeeper, by the woodwork, by his teammates butt. Until later in the first half the deadlock was broken by a well setup, if slightly luck 30 yard shot. The manager realizing the danger and embarrassment of losing to such a bad team brought out the big guns in the second half. James Belless, fresh from cryogenic sleep, came on as a sub and changed the whole dynamic of the match. Bedistanis awful luck seemed to be rubbing off on the Insanicians as chance after chance also missed. It was in the 64th minute that Belless managed to connect to a swinging cross he kicked just seconds before and headed it into the back of the net. In the ensuing goal celebration, that Belless has been doing for X years, the Rejistanian Referee sent Belless off. According to the latest guidelines drawn up by the Rejistanian President of the WCC goal celebration can't last longer than it takes to say Alitlijianenakuusurehjanisiax, although most people take several years to say it. The match drew to a close, with neither side willing to risk their point. It ended 1-1.
Sarzonia
19-01-2005, 16:29
Who's keeping score? No one dents net

WOODSTOCK (ASP) -- After an unfortunate bus accident that threw a scare into the Bedistan national team, they came out in an effort to put the tragedy behind them and provide some salve into what has been a disappointing run for their team so far. Sarzonia hoped to steal a win against their higher-seeded foes and ride the momentum into their match against the world's fifth ranked team Total 'n Utter Insanity.

Neither team got what they wanted. In fact, neither team even managed a goal against the other and both teams walked away from the pitch muttering following a goalless draw between Bedistan and the Stars at Hendrix Stadium in Woodstock.

"We didn't take advantage of numerous opportunities," Coach Dave Wilson said. "That said, their defense did an excellent job shutting our offense down. We only had 11 shots the entire match."

"Their defense stifled us," Bedistani forward Kyle Dean said. "We must have had five shots less than we normally do."

The defenses were the keys to the match along with goalkeeper play. Bedistan's Nick Reagan and Sarzonia's Troy Perkins each made five saves, though Perkins had the toughest chance, parrying away Dean's 56th minute bid after a failed clear by defender Lance Alcina. Sarzonia's best chance came off the boot of midfielder Darwin Russell whose shot was just deflected wide of the goal in the 38th minute.

"We're now in a difficult spot," Wilson said. "We have to win away to the fifth ranked team in the world if we want to make sure we still have a shot at qualifying."


Group 10 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Total n Utter Insanity 6 5 1 0 14 3 16 +11
Sarzonia 6 5 1 0 14 5 16 +9
Bedistan 6 3 3 0 9 4 12 +5
Haperd 6 3 0 3 10 9 9 +1
Qia 6 2 1 3 7 12 7 -5
Fmjphoenix 6 2 0 4 11 12 6 -1
Ninurta 6 1 0 5 4 15 3 -11
Nouveau Richelieu 6 0 0 6 4 13 0 -9
Talzeckia
19-01-2005, 17:04
Tides 'slip' in 'disgraceful' match, 5-0

With one goalkeeper suspended, the Talzecki football team didn't have an important member of its team available for the match against 63rd ranked Sliponia. The result showed every bit of that as Dave Simpson gave up five goals on 16 shots on goal and the Tides were overwhelmed at home, 5-0.

"That game was disgraceful," Coach Avid Mashoda said. "We were outclassed in every phase out there. [Suspended goalkeeper] Nick [Reynolds] wouldn't have helped. We just failed every which way you can fail."

The Tides loss dropped them into seventh place out of eight teams in Group 7 with an away match to GT-R, which is two points clear. The Tides will return Reynolds to the lineup after Mashoda suspended him for stripping naked in front of television cameras from Talzeckia and Sarzonia.

The Broadcast Controls Board of Talzeckia is considering issuing fines to networks that broadcast Reynolds' full frontal nudity on television. Meanwhile, the Communications Oversight Committee of Sarzonia has announced it would not look into the matter.

"What's the point," Committee Chairman Frank Browers asked. Board Chairman Howard Crosley condemned Reynolds act of "unremitting obscenity," but Browers said the matter wasn't worth the COC's time. The BCB is also considering fines or lawsuits against Reynolds, but straight female and gay male fans of the Talzecki team have established a website (www.payfinernicky.co.tlz) to collect donations to cover any fines of Reynolds.

"Well, if there's one positive that comes from that display, at least we have a certifiable hunk now," Mashoda quipped at the postmatch news conference. He then burst out laughing.


Group 7 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Svecia 6 5 0 1 15 5 15 +16
Kylaai 6 4 1 1 9 2 13 +7
Sliponia 6 3 1 2 15 8 10 +7
Adam Island 6 3 0 3 11 10 9 +1
Kaze Progressa 6 2 3 1 7 6 9 +1
GT-R 6 2 0 4 6 13 6 -7
Talzeckia 6 1 1 4 2 16 4 -14
Royal Engrand 6 1 0 5 5 11 3 -6
Eauz
19-01-2005, 17:35
Le LIBRE

Bribes and Addictions

After the match information was published by this paper, the president of Rejistania found out about it and became very embarrassed and believed the report badly described the nation of Rejistania. He had this to say:
Rejis the player really likes coffee, in the nation, it is not drunken that much.

The paper replied back saying that the press in Eauz is 100% free, were one can say almost anything that is legitimite, there are often articles published in this paper, along with many others which critisize the current Eauz government. Despite all this though, the leader gave Le Libre 500 Billion TIY by secret (woops!), and we would like to say we are sorry for the negative publication of your country.

Even though most Rejistanians do not drink this coffee, the Eauz team became quickly addicted to it, as many bought packages of it to bring along with them. Travelling to Shonar Bangle became so drunk with caffeine, that many of them didn’t seem suitable to play the next match. They were jumping around, and many of them couldn’t sleep. After a full stop of drinking coffee, many became too tired and lazy to actually play the match. Most couldn’t even get out of bed. As a result of this, the match game came, and the Team could only sport 8 players on the field, where many of these players had not had much experience on the international level. Bedeau fortunately hates coffee, and was sober to play in the net. It if wasn’t for him, the team probably would have been in poor condition.

The match was ugly, on more levels than one, as some of the players who were on the field were under the influence of caffeine, and others had no playing time. To the surprise of Shonar Bangla fans and the Eauz manager, Vasser who was running around wildly, somehow touched the ball which was coming his way, and it squeaked through the diving hands of the keeper, putting Eauz up 1 – 0 in the 20th minute of play. That was all Eauz seemed to find in this weakened team, as SB seemed to dominate and take advantage of the weak Eauz team. Oddly enough though, they didn’t seem to get much going actually to go in, as Bedeau was like a wall in this match. The only problem he faced was in the 74th minute of play, when SB was rewarded a free kick. The Eauz players were not well organized, as there was only 1 person who made up the wall, as others laid on the ground, or wandered away. The one player didn’t even try to block the kick, and the ball went into the net. Nonetheless, this paper is embarrassed by the Eauz performance. This paper is also embarrassed at the fact that there are only 2 teams in group 1 who are undefeated, and one of them is sitting in 3rd place, and closely followed by a team who has a loss and 11 points. I would have to say, our group is pathetic.

Eauz finished off its road trip with this tie, and will return home to face off against Krytenia, who has 3 victories and 3 ties. These two teams are also the two undefeated in group 1, and it could be quite the fight, as neither one will want to give in. Eauz will have a bit of an advantage, as they will be at home, but the Krytenia should not be ignored or thought of as a lonely easy team, as they seem to play well both away and at home, with a 1 - 2 - 0 record on the road.


Group 1 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Eauz 5 4 2 0 13 4 14 +9
Rejistania 5 4 0 2 11 4 12 +7
Krytenia 5 3 3 0 10 5 12 +5
Oceaice 5 3 2 1 8 6 11 +2
Shonar Bangla 5 2 3 1 8 7 9 +1
Lamoni 5 2 0 4 5 15 6 -10
Limp Wristed Fish 5 0 1 5 3 10 1 -7
Pterodactyl 5 0 1 5 4 11 1 -7


Match Day 1: Pterodactyl @ Eauz W 0 - 2
Match Day 2: Eauz @ Lamoni W 4 - 1
Match Day 3: Limp Wristed Fish @ Eauz W 0 - 3
Match Day 4: Eauz @ Oceaice T 2 - 2
Match Day 5: Eauz @ Rejistania W 1 - 0
Match Day 6: Eauz @ Shonar Bangla T 2 - 2
Match Day 7: Krytenia @ Eauz

Match Day 8: Eauz @ Pterodactyl
Match Day 9: Lamoni @ Eauz
Match Day 10: Eauz @ Limp Wristed Fish
Match Day 11: Oceaice @ Eauz
Match Day 12: Rejistania @ Eauz
Match Day 13: Shonar Bangla @ Eauz
Match Day 14: Eauz @ Krytenia
Krytenia
19-01-2005, 17:50
THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

Rejis Morte, Vivat Celestius!

MIRACULOUS. The only word that can be used to describe the most historic match ever to be seen in Everton City. Visitors Rejistania were held almost in awe by Krytenian fans, who had seen the 'lasane completely dominate world football in recent times. It was apt, then, that this game was an absolute corker, and the 100,000-plus fans watching would assuredly agree. Except those in the orange and blue.

The fun all started on just seven minutes as Rejistania looked to destroy their opponents early. A deep cross from Viji Ahi~n completely foxed the central defenders, but the volley from Minsikse was nowhere near the target until it caught Norman Oundle and beat Torniere at his near post.

Shortly before half-time, one became two in hilarious fashion. Barry Torniere came out to attempt a headed clearance from a long ball...and missed it completely. Salakeri Sa* was the first to the ball, and walked it home for the Orange-Blues' second goal. Torniere was pulled off at half time.

So what happened at half time? Maybe it was Alan Munitis' teacup-flinging. Maybe it was Quentin John's shoe-flinging. Maybe someone switched Hexatux's coffee supply with Dave Van Staveren's herbal tea. Whatever it was, it worked.

Krytenia roared into life in the second half. The visitors barely had a chance to draw breath before the Celestials had pulled the first back. Zavarov's cross was whipped and fierce, the Rejistanian defence was flatfooted, and Moreaux's kamikaze diving header was precise. Two-one.

Time passed by all to quickly for the home side, and with six minutes to go, they were still a goal down. Then came substitute Phillip Neasden, on for the ineffective Rimmer. His first touch of the ball was receipt of a Van Staveren pass in the middle of the pitch. He then hit the boosters. Hard. He flew past both the Kansus, and bore down on Menik Hisda. The shot was well struck, and though Hisda got a hand to it, the ball still had more than enough pace and space to find its way in for the equaliser.

And then, the coup de grace. The piece de resistance. And with all that French, you'd be forgiven for thinking we were reporting on Rejistania's previous game against Eauz. But no, this was pure sky blue glory. It seemed like a desperate injury time long-ball. Waste time. Get the one point. Then it fell to Ashley Moreaux. He looked up and saw Neasden on the right. Neasden made a dash for the corner flag. Everyting pointed to the Celestials playing for time. Then Neasden played it upfield for Anthony Picardo. He crossed first time, and the very tall dave Van Staveren leapt, nodded, and scored. Three-two! The impossible! Krytenia led!

And then, the beautiful noise.

The final whistle.

3-2.

Oh.
Dear.
God.

Krytenia will be hoping to not have to pinch themselves on Matchday Seven, but Eauz (ranked 15) will be a tough prospect. Away.

Here's hoping.

KRYTENIA....................3
Moreaux 46
Neasden 85
Van Staveren 90+1
REJISTANIA.................2
Oundle o.g.7
Sa 41

*NB: Salakeri Sa is the Krytenian name for Salakerijasamenatira Harakemindanutikejil.
South Osettia
19-01-2005, 18:42
I went home before the result was announced. I was feeling a little ill, and I didn't think I'd last much longer. I don't think anybody noticed, although the sick on the floor just outside the entrance might've given them a clue. As soon as I got home I got into bed and fell asleep before my head touched the pillow. Maybe everything would be alright tomorrow...

I stood before the gates of heaven, and standing in front of them, just next to the 'Don't Pee On The Grass' sign, was God. He was a lot smaller than on the television, but still twice as tall as me. He took me by the hand and we took a walk in the heavenly park, where angels caught you before you trod in dog's mess.

"You know, Emmett, I have great plans for you."

"Do they involve football?"

"Yes, they do."

"Then I don't want to know. My life is such a mess at the moment. The tournament is falling apart for us, I'm on the brink of a nervous breakdown and the entire department is a shambles. I feel like dying."

"You know...my son went for forty days in the desert and didn't complain once. I'm sure you can cope with not winning a football match."

"Well, now you put it like that..."

"Emmett, I'm going to tell you something...I'm gay."

"You're what?"

"I meant happy 'gay', not homosexual 'gay'. Do you know why I'm gay?" I wished God would say happy instead of gay.

"Because...you got a tax refund?"

"God does not pay taxes, and if I did, I'd smote the Inland Revenue for their dastardly ways. No, it's because you lost today."

"We did?"

"Yes. 2-1 to Praying2God."

"I can see why you'd be happy. Do the people of P2G pray a lot?"

"I wouldn't know. I've got official prayer-answerers, and the postal service is on strike at the moment anyway - nothing's getting through. The point is, everything that happens, happens for a reason."

"So what's the reason for us losing?"

"You complained."

"I didn't say anything!"

"You were thinking it."

"Can you hear my thoughts?"

"Yes I can."

"Okay, what am I thinking now?"

"You're wondering where the nearest toilet is because you desparately need to pee. It's alright, you can just wet yourself - I'll clean it up later."

"Wow, you're good."

"No, I'm God." It wasn't particularly funny, but I laughed anyway, for fear of God's retribution.

"So, all our bad luck has been for a reason."

"Yep."

"What's the reason?"

"I'm afraid I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"If I told you, it would rip a hole in the space-time continuum. Everything would change, and it would be unlikely that you would survive. Do you want to die yet?"

"Maybe not just yet."

"Good, my work here is done."

"God?"

"Yes?"

"Will we lose to Nevigrad tomorrow?"

"I can't tell you that, but I'll make you a deal. If you don't win tomorrow, I'll make sure you win the lottery. How's that?"

"That sounds pretty good to me."

"Then that's that. Now it's time for me to go, but remember what I said - always brush twice daily."

"You didn't say that!"

"Really? Oh well, remember it anyway, it's good advice." And with that I woke up in a pool of urine, which magically disappeared before my eyes. A rainbow appeared in my room, sealing mine and God's special covenant. I fell asleep again, expecting tomorrow to be a pretty good day.
Legalese
19-01-2005, 19:25
In his office in the Legalese Soccer House, Robbie Heard let everything sink in. His side just came out of the National Stadium with a 1-1 draw to Crystilakere, the group leaders, as matchday 6 came to a close. As Robbie sipped his post-match whiskey, his thoughts wandered over the last three years of chaos for the Men’s National Team, currently 2-2-2 in Group 3.

The trouble first started shortly after the Cup of Harmony. After a triumphant group stage, the Black and Red continued their tour of Lethislavania by taking on the hosts in the final. Sadly, a loss there, the second Cup in a row that his side lost in the final, ended their trip. Nonetheless, the Black and Red looked to jump up in the rankings yet again, with the hope of making it to the World Cup Final in Starblaydia/Druida.

The flight home was fairly uneventful, the team in a somber, but delightful mood. Robbie called his friend, Jim Norbert, who also happened to be the Head Coach/Manager of the u21 Legalese side. “Hey Jim,” he said to his old college buddy, “what’s happening?”

“You tell me, Robbie” replied Jim. “We still cannot get out of Total n Utter Insanity! What’s going on there in Legalese?”

“How would I know? We’ve been in Lethislavania for the Cup of Harmony Final. We just cannot get over that final hump there, it seems. What do you mean, you can’t get out of Total n Utter Insanity?”

“Well,” replied Jim, “First of all, our plane never returned! I was having a chat with Miguel, who decided to come see us play, but he ended up returning early, to help out with the Cup of Harmony matches. I don’t know if his flight made it there, but I do know that the plane never returned here.”

“So after that glitch, we tried to catch a commercial flight out of Total n Utter Insanity,” Jim continued. “Yet when we went to the airport, they said that all flights to Legalese City were cancelled, as nobody could even cross the borders of Legalese.”

“Why not?”

“A huge storm cloud, so it seems, has descended on the nation. Nothing that has entered it has come out.”

“Are you serious?” said Robbie. Jim was known for being the practical jokester in school, a reputation carried with him to the u21s.

“I only wish that I wasn’t” was Jim’s reply.

“Thanks Jim. I’ll get back on the line shortly, but I have to check with the flight crew. Take care.” Robbie put down the phone, and headed to the cockpit, where he inquired about the situation in Legalese.
“Sir,” said the pilot, “We should be approaching Legalese shortly, as we’ve just crossed over Pxys…”

The pilot paused in horror, as the coast of Legalese appeared, but barely. A dark cloud obscured sight of any land. It seemed as if Jim Norbert’s comments were accurate.

“Contact the Franciscan Airport Command Tower now,” said the pilot to his co-pilot. After a few moments of trying, the co-pilot turned back to the pilot.

“Sir, there’s no response. What do I do?”

The pilot looked at Robbie. “Any suggestions as to our new destination?”

Robbie thought carefully for a second. “Can we make it to Total n Utter Insanity?”

“Of course.”

“Let’s head there, then. The u21 team is there already, so I’ll call Jim Norbert for arrangements.”

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. “Come in.”

It turned out to be Norbert, now Manager of the National Reserve Team, made up of his former u21 side. “Robbie, I have some interesting news. I just was called by the hospital. They have a patient you may want to see!”
Kylaai
19-01-2005, 19:26
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/kylaai.jpgThe Reformed Islands of Kylaai

Adam Island 1 Kylaai 3

The people of Kylaai were surprised to see their players winning games in world cup 20 the qualifying and were able to beat Adam Island a team that Kylaai was against in the last time they tried world cup qualifying but did not make it. Rising Sun was the hero like he was when Kylaai made it to win the Cup of Harmony. Rising Sun scored all three goals for Kylaai against Adam Island.

Kylaai beat Royal Engrand 1-0. Royal Engrand is a team we do not know anything to hear from but they were in the baptism of fire cup and we have beaten them. It was not Rising Sun who scored but it was Max. Max doesn't score very much but he performed to the max against Royal engrand.

Kylaai beat another team from the baptism of fire this was a team that did better but just barely because they beat Royal Engrand in the last game. This team is GT-R and Kylaai beat them 2-0. This was the third game in a row Kylaai did not give up a goal. Before that, Kylaai beat Sliponia 3-0.

This is very funny because Kylaai is doing funny scores. After losing a bad game against Talzeka 0-1, Kylaai Scored 3 goals, then they scored 2 goals, then scored 1 goals, and then it wasn't funny anymore but it was funny until then.

With these games completed Kylaai have a draw with Kaze Progressa impressing 0-0. Kylaai have scored 9 goals and given up 2 goals which is good and have 4 wins 1 draw and 1 loss. The top scorer is Rising Sun with 6 goals. Norada Fell has 2 goals and Max has his one goal which will probably be his last because he performed to the max just to get one.
Lineup

Goalkeeper: Mandoo Nania
Defenders: Lital Tirar, Hito Burrito, Vito Frito, Max
Midfielders: Rising Sun, Macala Moria, Tennence Fleiam, Norada-Fell
Attackers: Mazu Kazu, Vlanti Vimorta
Audioslavia
19-01-2005, 19:47
Ain't this a bitch. Since when does ten RPs of good length and quality make a 2-0-3 record for a 24th ranked team? IC RP to be edited in soon.

OOC: LE, you KNOW the answer. I think that record is perfectly reasonable. As for CH and his sniffling about losing to Big Pimento, BP is nowhere near a n00b and RPs a hell of a lot better than most people.

IC:

Six Out Of Six, Thirty-Eight Out Of Talent
Win Over Snub Puts 'Slaves Seven Clear

With two second half goals, Audioslavia came back from behind to defeat Snub Nose 38.

The Hooligans had scored first through Bobby Stevenson in the twentieth minute. Stevenson had played awfully before then, making the occasional slip (AKA 'Olalla') before suddenly transforming into what appeared to be a different player (not only in skill but in appearance. He seemed smaller and acted less civilised) and unleashing a thunderous strike which 'Kidnapped' the lead for Snub Nose 38. The SN38 team went on a brief 'Treasure Island' hunt for a second goal but were brought down to earth in the second half. It started with an own goal by Daniel Defoe, but i've never read any of his work so i'll leave that there.

Jussi Oskari netted number two for the 'slaves on the hour mark, latching onto a throughball by Ashen Avari and flicking it over the approaching goalkeeper for 2-1.

Group 6 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Audioslavia 6 6 0 0 12 2 18 +10
Spaam 6 3 2 1 14 7 11 +7
Wella 6 3 2 1 13 9 11 +4
One Red Dot 6 3 1 2 9 6 10 +3
East Lithuania 6 1 2 3 8 12 5 -4
Snub Nose 38 6 1 1 4 6 10 4 -4
San Verdi 6 1 1 4 6 12 4 -6
Giant Zucchini 6 1 1 4 7 17 4 -10

Thanks to One Red Dot's defeat of Wella, the 'slaves go seven points clear at the top of group six in front of Spaam. Wella drop to third on goal difference, just a point ahead of their conquerers ORD.

From there, there is a big drop-off to fifth place where East Lithuania currently reside. SN38 actually rise a place to sixth thanks to San Verdi's big loss, whilst Giant Zucchini stay at the bottom of the group.
Praying2God
19-01-2005, 20:18
OOC-Just in case anybody was starting to wonder...No, I am not getting inside information before I make my predictions. The fact that each of my three announcers have taken turns predicting the correct winner and score in my last three matches is purely coincidental.

IC-

John Carlson (JC): Welcome back to the House of Prayer. You're just in time for the opening kick-off of this match between the Warriors and South Osettia. We should be in for an exciting match today! South Osettia is still searching for their first win, and they're manager feels confident that today will be the day that they finally crack the win column. However, the Warriors are no pushovers; they have confidence from having won their last two matches and already having upset Jerusalem on the road. South Osettia will kick-off. There's the ref's whistle...and we are under way!!!


**14th minute**
JC: This has been an ugly match so far. Neither team is playing very well right now. South Osettia has possession...Shamp lobs the ball into the box...and Legare gets his head on it...and it bangs in off the left post. South Osettia leads 1-0.

DT: The Warriors caught a tough break there, John. Hopefully that will be just what the doctor ordered and bring them back down from the clouds.

LS: I will say, that despite the fact that the Warriors are trailing, they are the team that has played better soccer so far. They should be able to come back, if that goal hasn't demoralized them.


**28th minute**
JC: The South Osettia goal sure was a wake-up call to the Warriors, as they have dominated play here for the last few minutes. Hor tries to punt the ball clear for South Osettia...but it drops right to Warriors defenseman Claire Paulson...who plays a long ball down the left side to a wide open Amanda Tracy...she shoots from outside of the box...the ball is curving towards the net...and it finds its way JUST INSIDE THE FAR POST FOR A WARRIORS GOAL!!! Amanda Tracy played a beautiful touch shot with this wind and is rewarded with her first goal of the WC to tie this match at 1-1.

LS: Tracy had been struggling so far, and was in danger of losing her starting position. She might have just saved it there.

DT: That was a beautiful shot! It should provide a huge morale lift for the Warriors.

JC: This is now the first match the Warriors have played in which both teams have scored.

DT: You know, John. I've heard rumors that to be 'Hor' in South Osettia means 'to be easy.'


**Halftime**
JC: We're at halftime here at the House of Prayer, with the match between the Warriors and South Osettia tied at 1-1. David and Lisa have wandered off and haven't come back yet, so instead of asking them for their analysis of the first half, I shall provide some of my own...The Warriors got off to a slow start, but were woken up by the early South Osettian goal. Since then, the Warriors have thoroughly dominated this match. Amanda Tracy leveled the score in the 28th minute on a beautiful shot that found its way inside of the far post. If the Warriors keep up their energy in the second half, the Warriors could potentially win their third straight, and be in very good shape heading into the last match of the first half of qualifying...Well, well, well...What have we here???
**David and Lisa walk in, both of them looking a little flushed ;) **
I don't think I have to ask what you two were doing. :mad: We're going to go to commercial now, and be back in time for the second half of this exciting match.


**60th minute**
JC: I continue to fly solo, as our station manager lectures David and Lisa about proper on-air behavior...The Warriors have the ball...Kevin Faith is looking at the South Osettian defense...he finds Thomas Larson with a pass...and Larson heads towards the net...he shoots...it goes right through Hor's hands and INTO THE NET for a goal. Thomas Larson does it yet again. His fourth goal of the tournament gives the Warriors a 2-1 lead. That's a bad omen for South Osettia, because all three of Larson's other goals have been game winning goals.


**90th minute**
JC: There's the final whistle! The Warriors hold on to win 2-1. A solid all-around match for the Warriors after the 14th minute goal by South Osettia. The Warriors continue to sit in third place in Group 3 with only one match left in the first half of qualifying for WC XX. However, that is far from a easy match, as they will have to leave the friendly confines of the House of Prayer for Eystrck, who's ranked 50th in the world. It should be a great match! For David Tall and Lisa Simonson; I'm John Carlson. Good night everybody.



Praying2God 2 Tracy (28), Larson (60)
South Osettia 1 Legare (14)




Group 3 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Crystilakere 6 4 2 0 12 2 14 +9
Jeruselem 6 4 1 1 12 7 13 +5
Praying2God 6 4 0 2 6 8 12 -2
Eystrck 6 2 3 1 8 7 9 +1
Legalese 6 2 2 2 11 8 8 +3
Iansisle 6 2 1 3 12 10 7 +2
South Osettia 6 0 2 4 8 17 2 -9
Nevigrad 6 0 1 5 1 10 1 -9
Cockbill Street
19-01-2005, 22:22
Normality Restored
Though Street Are STILL Top

At last, the Streetians played as poorly as we expect them to. After all - there is a reason why they are ranked 28th in the world. Tonight's match showed them being totally outclassed by a stronger team - admittedly, the Streetians have managed to come off stronger against Commerce Heights in two of their last three meetings, but that's been through luck - and by now, they should have worked out how the Streetians have played. Add to that a total disorganisation in defence - yet again - and a bit of bad luck, and the Streetians ran out comfortable and deserved losers.

Unfortunately, our Capitalizt friends didn't bother with publishing a squad, probably thinking that the opportunity cost of doing so was too large (imagine! Their journalists would have to take a whole three minutes out of valuable IRC idling time!) and as such, we have no idea who their star number nine who made a hat-trick is. We suspect his name has probably been bought by a large corporation in the Heights, however, and he is now playing under the name of "Free Market Oil" or something similar.

Cockbill Street made a decent effort, but just couldn't put the balls in the back of the net - apart from Moissanite's lucky stroke of a shot that bounced off two Capitalizt defenders and went in the goal. By the time, however, the Street were already 0-2 down, and a further goal with ten minutes left just sealed it.

The populace - with o-so-short-memories - are already beginning to turn against the previously-acclaimed Kansu Lyku, saying that "well, he promised defence, and we've conceded six in two games?" Ironically, he is still by far the most successful coach, winning the second IRC (although that was a walk - he just took over from the others) and leading the qualifiers, something only Olaf Iskalt managed - and his team got beaten by Liverpool England when it mattered.

Cockbill Street 1 (Moissanite 59)
Commerce Heights 3 (??? 22, ??? 40, ??? 87)

Cockbill Street ratings: Underwood 5 - Stronginthearm 5, Dwarfclobberer 4, Galena 5, Axewielder 4 (Bitton on 72), Walker 5 - McLavish 5, Heimfoething 6, Swytherton 6 - Peters 5, Moissanite 5
Fmjphoenix
19-01-2005, 22:48
Vikings get in no rythem, lose bad at home

The Vikings returned home looking to get a solid mathc played by its team against the top seed in the group, but instead got beaten yet again by another team, losing to Total n Utter Insanity 3-0.

Three goals were scored by TnUI. We would put them here, but alas, we do not know who they were. The Vikings did not play well, getting into no rythem and looked extremly abysmal. The team and fans will be looking to remove this match from their memory and hope they cna go to Bedistan and produce a solid match against them.

With their 4th loss in 6 days, the Vikings have fallen to 6th place in the standings, the place they were in their first World Cup, never since then. Now they are in a tough position and need to start winning matches to even have a glimmer of a chance for qualification.

Fmjphoenix: 0
(None)

Total n Utter Insanity: 3
(Unknown 24, 45, 67)

World Cup XX Qualification:
MD01: Fmjphoenix vs. Nouveau Richelieu Win 4-2
MD02: Fmjphoenix @ Haperd Lose 1-2
MD03: Fmjphoenix vs. Qia Lose 0-1
MD04: Fmjphoenix @ Ninurta Win 4-1
MD05: Fmjphoenix @ Sarzonia Lose 2-3
MD06: Fmjphoenix vs. Total n Utter Insanity Lose 0-3
MD07: Fmjphoenix @ Bedistan
------------------------------------------------
MD08: Fmjphoenix @ Noveau Richelieu
MD09: Fmjphoenix vs. Hapred
MD10: Fmjphoenix @ Qia
MD11: Fmjphoenix vs. Ninurta
MD12: Fmjphoenix vs. Sarzonia
MD13: Fmjphoenix @ Total n Utter Insanity
MD14: Fmjphoenix vs. Bedistan
Record: 2-0-4
Bedistan
20-01-2005, 00:03
from the Bedistan Sports Digest:

Drawn Again (only part of article shown)
WOODSTOCK, Sarzonia -- The match, while not a win, was still a respectable showing for the Green-Blues. Though the team had not been in the absolute greatest form, it really wasn't all that bad either, despite some reports. The lack of goals was not due to a lack of trying, as forward Kyle Dean made several valiant efforts. Unfortunately, when the whistle blew, the score remained 0-0, preserving both Bedistan's and Sarzonia's undefeated records in these qualifiers, the former at 3-3-0 and the latter at 5-1-0.

Total n Utter Insanity, also 5-1-0, the draw against Bedistan being the only blemish on their otherwise perfect record as well, lead Group Ten on goal difference over the Stars. The Green-Blues are four points back in third, though still three points ahead of the ensuing pack, somehow led by Haperd and Qia due to Fmjphoenix's poor run of form. Unluckily for Fmjphoenix, they face Matchday 7 in Bedistan, and while the current Bedistani team certainly isn't the best ever, it still looks reasonably solid. The Vikings notwithstanding, the rest of the group looks almost exactly as predicted.

FINAL SCORE:
Sarzonia 0
Bedistan 0

-----

from the Sonoma City Herald:

Errata
In yesterday's edition, we claimed that Bedistan's Matchday 6 game against Sarzonia would be played at Fillmore National Stadium in Sonoma City. Unfortunately, we seem to have failed to properly read the schedule, and as you now know, the match took place at Hendrix Stadium in Woodstock, Sarzonia. We apologize for the inconvenience, and no, we cannot reimburse you for any misdirected travel expenses.
Rejistania
20-01-2005, 01:32
OOC: Back to the old tactics of blaming the referee...

It's a mistake!

The Orange-Blues lost their second match in this qualifiers 2:3. The Krytenian Celestials used apparently very capitaliZt tactics in the half-time pause because the referee became very one sided when the second half started. The referee Eski Lira from Insane Inflation denied of course all accusations, it could however not be explained why he left the stadium in an extreme hurry with the torn backpack, he carried before the match, and a shiny new suitcase. Siki Rej was angry after the game, but he did not comment on the referees decisions. When a reporter of the 'National' asked him about it, he simply said: "I will not comment on referees, especially not on referees, who decide so blatantly totally wrong that Hexatux crashes due to it." Krytenian officials denied the accusations and said no money was paid. That leaves enough room for interpretation whether the bribe maybe was paid in OK Credits or Totally Inflated Yen or in something, which has much value in the Insane Inflation barter system, like sugar.

The first half of the match was pretty much dominated by the Orange-Blues, who took the lead in the 7th minute. Jentu Minikse's shot only hit a krytenian defender, from whom the ball deflected into the goal. In the 28th minute, the 2:0 was only prevented because Salakerijasamenatira "Sa" Harakemindanutikejil's shot only missed by centimetres. In the 41st minute, Salakerijasamenatira "Sa" Harakemindanutikejil eventually increased the lead.

After the first half, things became bad: Eski Lira began to decide only for the Krytenians, gave rad cards for the most minor things to Orange-Blue players. Krytenia had problems against the highly defensive Lasane despite their twelveth man. Moreaux'he scored the 2:1 seconds after the second half started, but for most of the time, Krytenia had no good chances despite the Orange-Blues being 2 men down after trivial offenses. Well, you all watched the match or listened to it on the radio, some even were in the stadium: Neasden'he and Van Staveren'he scored the 2:2 and the 2:3. Eski Lira managed to leave the stadium somehow despite rejistani fans being extremely angry about him.

Krytenia 3 (Moreaux 46th, Neasden 85th, Van Staveren 90+1st)
Rejistania 2 (Oundle (og) 7th, Harakemindanutikejil 41)
Squornshelous
20-01-2005, 01:45
Pschychoes in a slump

Three Game Winless Streak Leaves us in fifth place
Following the smashing defeat of Antaeus Rising, Squornshelous finds itself behind that team in the tables because of our poor play in the group, starting with a 3-2 loss to Kingsford, which led to a pair of 2-2 draws with Liverpool England and The Eagles Nest. "We just aren't playing well enough on defense," said Goalkeeper Lenny Speer. We're leading the group in Goals For and in Goal Differential, but we haven't been able to win the close ones." Speer is right, Squornshelous has two draws and their losses have been 1-0 and 3-2. On the other hand, Squornshelous has wins of 4-1 and 6-0. "We just have to find that winning form again," said forward Trevor Gerrard, "we know we can trash these teams, but we're just not executing well enough." Head Manager Sergei Korolev agrees with this diagnosis and terms it, "lack of focus". He has increased the teams practice chedule in an attempt to regain that focus and return to the top three in the group. "One thing I'm thankful for is that our hockey team is doing even worse," said Korolev, "It makes us look a lot better. The Squornshelan national Ice Hockey team, which entered Cherry Cup 8 seeded 4th overall has found its way to the very bottom of the tables, winning only one game.

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Gerrard: 7
Popov: 5
Arnesson: 3
Washington: 1

Group 9 Standings After Matchday 6:

Group 9 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
The Weegies 6 4 1 1 9 4 13 +5
Kingsford 6 4 0 2 9 7 12 +2
The Eagles Nest 6 2 3 1 8 6 9 +2
Antaeus Rising 6 3 0 3 6 12 9 -6
Squornshelous 6 2 2 2 16 9 8 +7
Liverpool England 6 2 1 3 12 7 7 +5
Hiiraan 6 2 1 3 7 10 7 -3
Ratvipa 6 1 0 5 1 13 3 -12


Squornshelous' Qualifying Schedule:
Wins Draws Losses
MD01: Squornshelous 4-1 Hiiraan
MD02: Ratvipa 1-0 Squornshelous
MD03: Squornshelous 6-0 Antaeus Rising
MD04: Kingsford 3-2 Squornshelous
MD05: The Eagles Nest 2-2 Squornshelous
MD06: Liverpool England 2-2Squornshelous
MD07: Squornshelous v The Weegies
MD08: Hiiraan v Squornshelous
MD09: Squornshelous v Ratvipa
MD10: Antaeus Rising v Squornshelous
MD11: Squornshelous v Kingsford
MD12: Squornshelous v The Eagles Nest
MD13: Squornshelous v Liverpool England
MD14: The Weegies v Squornshelous

Up Next: The Weegies
Squornshelous have played The Weegies many times in qualifying matches like this one, and have usually come out on top, but the Pschychoes are in a slump, and The Weegies are playing in top form and at the top of the group.Prediction: Squornshelous 1-2 The Weegies[/QUOTE]
Krytenia
20-01-2005, 04:36
[OOC: Blame the ref will you? This'll learn ye... :p ]

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST
Late Edition

Rej Arrested

REJISTANIAN co-coach Siki Rej is spending the night in a Krytenian police cell last night on charges of breach of the peace and criminal damage in the aftermath of his sides three-two defeat at the hands of the Celestials. Bail has been set at €K3,000, however it has not yet been revealed whether the bail conditions will allow the official to return home and resume his duties.

According to witnesses, Rej spotted the match referee, a Mr. Lire of Insane Inflation, and chased after him through several streets brandishing a shiny metal object and shouting a number of obscenities in both English and his native Rejistanian. After Lire gave the coach the slip, Mr. Rej then set about attempting to destroy the referee's car with the metal object. He was arrested fleeing the scene a few minutes later. Amongst the evidence against Rej is a gold-plated chrome cafetiere, found at the scene.

The trial is set to be in seven weeks' time, coincedentally in the same week as the return match between the Rejistanian and Krytenian teams.
Adam Island
20-01-2005, 04:38
Haakenson Blamed For Losing Streak
http://adamisland.blogspirit.com/archive/2005/01/19/haakenson_blamed_for_losing_streak.html

Last year's media darling striker Adelaide Haakenson of the Adam Island National Football Team has lost favor in the sight of her fans, culminating in a fight on The Late Show with host Barry Johnson. And she has no one to blame but herself.

Haakenson led Adam Island on an amazing run in last year's World Cup qualifiers, beating defending two-time champion Rejistania and scoring multiple hat tricks against some of the best teams in the world. Hopes were high when she joined star goalkeeper Paco Naccarato on the ACSA team in the Adam Island Football Association.

Haakenson played disappointingly, scoring less than a dozen goals the entire year. ACSA was dropped out of the first division, and Naccarato was not invited back to the World Cup, and Haakenson only was as a reserve.

Adam Island won their first 3 matches in qualifying play, beating rival Sliponia 3-1 and ending up in first place with 9 points. Manager Deidra Gowin put Haakenson back into the starting lineup, hoping that she could rekindle her heroism we saw in World Cup XIX.

But Adam Island scored only 2 goals in their next three matches, dropping a game to rookie GT-R and losing to last year groupmate Kylaai. Commentators placed most of the blame on Adelaide Haakenson, calling her a 'ball hog,' seeing how she had over 20 shots on goal in matchdays 4-6 but not a single score.

Haakenson made a scheduled appearance on The Adam Island Network's popular talk show, 'The Late Show with Barry Johnson' after the 0-2 home loss to Svecia, where she was greeted with boos and jeers from the studio audience. Haakenson shouted at the crowd, and asked Johnson why they were not greeting her enthusiastically. Johnson replied 'because your play sucks!'

Haakenson then shouted back some expletives, and then stood, challenging Johnson to come up to her like a man. Johnson and Haakenson shouted at each other, and the argument soon turned physical before security seperated the two.

For her display on the show, Coach Gowin has announced that Haakenson will be suspended for the duration of one match. The effect of this will have to be seen.

But while we're waiting, click here to view footage of the debacle. (http://thesims2.ea.com/sims2_userdata/48/983048/movie_HaakensonFight.avi)
Melmond
20-01-2005, 06:07
Makinshakes Presents...
The Ketchup Times
Now you can eat your fries and read the latest news around Melmond!

First Giant Evil Spiders, Now Mean Pinko Commies
A three-quarters fill Microcosm Football Colossuseum welcomed the Fearless Farmers back home where they were expected to come back in form at their home nation against a much more fancied side in EL CID THE HERO. Don't be fooled by the percentage...around 72,000 people saw this match. Both sides felt that they had an advantage coming into the match with EL CID THE HERO seeing that they believe they could overcome the surprisingly shaky Melmondian defence and Melmond returning home and feeling that it is about time they get back on track. Well it was EL CID THE HERO who was correct as their attack came out absolutely blazing as the veteran EL CID THE HERO attack got two quick goals in the first ten minutes of the match. However, as Melmond was getting ready to get its attack going, the sirens throughout the city of Aldi as well as the major metropolitan areas were sounding. The United Postmodernist States of Melmond as well as the majority of The Exclusive Capitalizt Zone were being invaded by a violent socialist collective, hoping to close the region down. As the people evacuated, the referee called the match at the 13th minute, with EL CID THE HERO getting the 2-nil victory.

Preoccupied Melmond National Team Draws Raptor Claw
It was very tough to play world-class football while your home nation is being violently invaded. While the majority of their minds were about the happenings at home, the Melmond National Team felt that they had to represent the hopes and dreams of the Melmondian people, to be a ray of hope. So despite the horrors being committed in their home nations, the Fearless Farmers stayed true to their moniker and soldiered on to play Raptor Claw in Raptor Claw. Raptor Claw controlled most of the first half as one can see the minds of the Fearless Farmers partly elsewhere. Raptor Claw left the first half with a 2-nil lead with goals by Imat Arget and Imadalea Der. However, as they saw the hopes that they know they had their full control of their destiny on, qualifying for World Cup 20, the Fearless Farmers stormed back with avengeance. Melmond defender Charles Unne was the unlikely first goal scorer for the Fearless Farmers as he headed in a corner kick. The equaliser was done by a far more usual suspect, Tim Remans. The Melmond striker cleverly finished a Gene MacDougall shot which deflected off Raptor Claw goalkeeper Gonnast Opyou. The match ended with a 2-2 draw, certainly not a good result on a paper, but with such a strong finish and good news coming from the homefront, the Fearless Farmers had something to look forward to.

An Update On The Socialist Invasions
It was truly a dark day in Melmond as a group of socialist invaders, led by the nation of Opalonium, invaded the Exclusive Capitalizt Zone and made Melmond one of its primary targets. The capital of Melmond City was by far hit the hardest by the attack, with much of the city destroyed as it was seen as the hub of the region by the socialist invaders. The cities of Aldi and Unne have received a fair amount of damage as well. There has been 30,050 confirmed fatalities in the United Postmodernist States of Melmond and around 120,000 injuries credited to the invasion. The government of Melmond was exiled by the socialist invaders to the Rejected Realms and then stayed at Galts Gulch for the mean time. Most of the Melmondian citizens either found a shelter to hide in or took a quick trip to Royal Engrand for sanctuary. They could not go to the Melmond colony of Obsessed Muse Groupies for shelter since they had a socialist coup to deal with as well. The violent socialist/seperatist group in Obsessed Muse Groupies has been rumoured to be bankrolled not only by the socialist collective but as well by The Evil Umpire. The motives of this group have spun from the "Hyper Music" video Muse put out where bassist Chris Wolstenholme was wearing a "CCCP" shirt. A group of Groupies thought with a religious fervor that it was a sign that Obsessed Muse Groupies should be a socialist nation seperate from its capitalizt Melmondian oppressors. For a short while, it looks like they would succeed as for a couple days the socialist group had control of Obsessed Muse Groupies, changing its name to the United Socialist States of Obsessed Muse Groupies from the Empire of Obsessed Muse Groupies. They even joined the UN for a short while to show that they are severing their ties with Melmond. Fortunately however, the Melmondian colonialists and those Groupies who supported Melmond's rule took back the capital and the nation became a semi-autonomous colony of Melmond once again. As for the mainland, due to some shrewd work by an army of Capitalist allies, the Melmond government and people were able to return to their homes. However, the socialist occupation continues, but a strong capitalist coalition is forming to their slighly growing socialist resistance. The match between The Belmore Family and Melmond will still be played. However, the venue has been shifted from the Melmond Bowl in Melmond City, which has almost been reduced to rubble, to Bwnlqjd Knjqi in Wzkknfs Hnyd, the capital of the untouchead and mountainous region of Wzkknf. In a show of solidarity, soliders from both the regions of the competitors, The Exclusive Capitalizt Zone and the Alliance of Socialist States, will be present to guard everyone in the vicinity of the match. Both regions hope healthy competition will help pave the way to bring the violent rift between socialists and capitalist to a halt. There has been even a rumour of represntatives from Melmond and the ASS nation of Free Radicals of Mu-Mu to set up a competitive karaoke competition between the two regions with the working title "KARAOKESTROIKA!"
Legalese
20-01-2005, 06:11
The car raced to the hospital, with Jim Norbert behind the wheel. Robbie sat in the passenger’s seat, his mind wandering from its current location, and continuing his thoughts from before…

It had been three months. The Legalese MNT and the u21 Nationals were still in Total n Utter Insanity, trying to figure out the state of their nation. As they remained in their present lodging, renting time from the local soccer club to practice on their fields, Heard grew worried, with qualifying for the twentieth World Cup to commence shortly. He felt he had an ever-improving top notch side, but how would they handle their third attempt to compete? Where would they play? With no assurance that Legalese even existed, Robbie didn’t even know if he was managing the national team, but rather a team without a nation.

Then the call finally came. Attempts to contact the Legalese Soccer House in Francis Town were a success, prompting Robbie to load up the plane, so his boys could go home. Upon landing at Franciscan International Airport, the squad saw the damage to the city. Trees were uprooted, houses smashed. Some people seemed to lose everything.

Upon landing, Edward Francis, the mayor of Francis Town, also the brother of Legalese defender Ferdinand Francis, met the team, briefing them on the situation.

“We’re not exactly sure what hit us here, to be honest. The skies grew dark, as the wind and rain pelted the city. It was almost as if a hurricane had settled over the city, and did not want to leave. For five days, we held our own underground, hoping to survive. Fortunately, we did.”

“For you guys,” Edward continued, “Things turned out alright as well. The Soccer House sustained minor damage, but is running just fine, though devoid of workers. Legalese National Stadium is also in good condition. We’ve used it as a shelter during the rebuilding process, but it is all yours once again.”

“The Soccer House devoid of workers?” questioned Robbie. “How so?”

“Well, of the ten who worked in there, you and Jim were out of the country, as was Miguel. Most of the part-time staffers have been at home, handling their situations. Sadly, two of them are known to be dead, with three others missing. That leaves just the interns from Francis Town Community College, Mark and Annie.”

“Did you hear from Miguel? Jim said he flew back to Legalese City.”

Edward paused, before uttering his next words. “Robbie, we’re not even sure if there is a Legalese City any more. While the clouds have cleared over Francis Town, the rest of the country is still hidden.”

The team looked on in horror. Their family and friends, those dear to them, possibly lost?

As the training continued in Francis Town, one player found he could not take the losses any more. Tommy Walters, Legalese’s top keeper, had a wife and two children in Gavelton, their situation unknown. His nights grew more and more restless, his performance slipping as the thoughts spurred in his head: Will I ever see my family again?

Finally, with two weeks to go before matchday one, Tommy disappeared. His note said:

I wish you luck with your mission of qualification, and wish I could be with you all. However, I must find my family, otherwise none of this will be worth it to me. I wish you all the best, and hope to see you soon.

That was the last time anyone had heard a word from Tommy Walters, who entered the murky cloud, possibly never to return.

The car pulled up to Maximilian Hospital. Jim and Robbie jumped out, racing to the room they were directed to. There, they saw a sight they thought they’d never see again.

“Hey coach,” said Tommy Walters, wincing in pain. “How’s the team doing?”
Praying2God
20-01-2005, 06:28
John Carlson: Welcome to Eystrck for this final match of the first half of WC XX qualifying between the Warriors and Eystrck. The Warriors have certainly caught a lot of people off guard by winning three straight matches, and four total, to go against only two losses so far. However, Eystrck is no pushover. They are ranked 50th in the world, and are at home, so they are quite dangerous to the Warriors. Plus, with a loss, the Warriors would slide to fourth in Group 3 to Eystrck on goal differential. So, both teams have a lot at stake today. I don't know which Jerusalem would rather see at the House of Prayer...a Warriors team motivated after a loss or a potentially over-confident Warriors team that has won four straight. David and Lisa are having another meeting with the station manager to enusre that they will behave themselves after their...escapades...during the last couple of matches. The keys to today's match appear to be if the Warriors are over-confident after sweeping a three match homestand, and for Eystrck it will be taking control of the match early. The longer the Warriors hang around, the more trouble Eystrck is going to be in. Eystrck will also have to try to find a way to keep Thomas Larson off the scoreboard. Larson has the game winning goal in each of the four Warriors victories. So, the Warriors will also need their other forwards to step-up in this match if they wish to continue their winning ways. I believe both teams will have moderate success today, and this match will end in a 0-0 draw. We'll be back after these commercials with the opening kick-off of today's match.
The Lowland Clans
20-01-2005, 10:37
[color=navy]GRAHAM CITY SUN - So I guess I spoke too soon...[/color=navy]
[size=1]Pontoon Perry, Sports Expert and all-around a$$hole

You know, I'm starting to wonder if this is even worth it. The Allied States have sat in the rank of high twenties for the last three World Cups. Is it really worth it? I mean, losing to Turori and Lethislavania isn't bad, but Irendia? Whose Irendia? Well, if we beat Tadijikstan tonight, then maybe I'll have faith. But if we lose, whats the point?
Tadjikistan
20-01-2005, 11:14
'1 point is enough'

The Tigers had to go up against The Lowland Clans, roughly as strong as Tadjikistan on this World Cup. And appearantly, both teams had the same thought and made an agreement. The Lowland Clans scored in the 28th minute and took the lead in what was for them a strong first half.

Luchinsky told his men it was their turn to lead the game and the Second half of the match was marked by Tadjikistans superiority and Zarakovsky's late goal. And it seemed enough for both sides, The Tadjiks made a last attempt at a second goal in the 88th minute but Kirponos ' shot ended in the sidenet.

In the meantime, Oaker stalled the Turori Eels with a scoreless draw. Lethislavania gained 3 points from a win in Irenadia and closes in on the Top three. Enough to make matchday 7 crucial for the Tigers, who are on their way to Turori.

Group 5
Tadjikistan 1 The Lowland Clans 1
Oaker 0 Turori 0
Wickerslack 1 Spurland 2
Irenadia 1 Lethislavania 2

Group 5 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Turori 6 4 2 0 13 5 14 +8
Tadjikistan 6 3 2 1 11 3 11 +8
Oaker 6 3 2 1 8 6 11 +2
Lethislavania 6 3 1 2 7 5 10 +2
The Lowland Clans 6 2 1 3 9 7 7 +2
Spurland 6 2 1 3 5 13 7 -8
Wickerslack 6 1 1 4 6 12 4 -6
Irenadia 6 1 0 5 3 11 3 -8



MD1:Tadjikistan - Wickerslack W 3-0
MD2:Irenadia - Tadjikistan W 0-2
MD3:Tadjikistan - Lethislavania D 0-0
MD4:Spurland - Tadjikistan W 0-4
MD5:Tadjikistan - Oaker L 1-2
MD6:Tadjikistan - The Lowland Clans D 1-1
MD7:Turori - Tadjikistan
MD8:Wickerslack - Tadjikistan
MD9:Tadjikistan - Irenadia
MD10:Lethislavania - Tadjikistan
MD11:Tadjikistan - Spurland
MD12:Oaker - Tadjikistan
MD13:The Lowland Clans - Tadjikistan
MD14:Tadjikistan - Turori

Experts off to visit Praying2God

Dushanbe - After seeing the predictions of Praying2Gods, experts of the Tadjik National Football Federation decided to visit said nation to see how they predicted the scores. Mikhail Frunze said 'They've been so correct some of us think they bribed their opponents. I dont know if its true, well it doesnt matter. I hope they predict a 6-0 win for the Tigers against Turori'
Tadjikistan
20-01-2005, 11:20
GRAHAM CITY SUN - So I guess I spoke too soon...[/color=navy]
[size=1]Pontoon Perry, Sports Expert and all-around a$$hole

You know, I'm starting to wonder if this is even worth it. The Allied States have sat in the rank of high twenties for the last three World Cups. Is it really worth it? I mean, losing to Turori and Lethislavania isn't bad, but Irendia? Whose Irendia? Well, if we beat Tadijikstan tonight, then maybe I'll have faith. But if we lose, whats the point?

[color=blue] The Lowland Clanners forgot to set their watches

Dushanbe - So now we know why the match ended in an agreed 1-1 draw, the players from The Lowland Clans never turned up and their coach made an agreement with Zhenya Luchinsky 'Ok ok i admit, they werent there, but it seemed unfair to me to send them home with a 5-0 forfait so we agreed on a draw' Then how were the goals determined? ' we put the names of the players in a hat and an innocent hand pulled out one name, Zarakovsky's name in this case' More news on 'the agreed match' as we get it.
Rejistania
20-01-2005, 11:29
OOC: /me slaps Krytenia around a bit with a large trout!

IC:
The Krytenian reports that Siki Rej was arrested for attempted violence against Eski Lira were not even wrong, however the arrested person was notorious hooligan Siki Re~lj. Since the Krytenian police most likely did not realize the slight shift of tone and the slightly longer 'e', which is the only difference between 'Rej' and 'Re~lj'. Siki Re~lj has a reputation for soccer related violence and spent 5 years in prisons in KaMaRi kali or Hetkali. He is not allowed to enter stadiums in Rejistania anymore after getting into fights far too often.

Apparently the Krytenians had no problem with letting him into the stadium, maybe because he used 'capitaliZt tactics' or because the list of suspects, who are known for violence was not checked. It is very likely that Siki Re~lj ran after the Insanian referee and threatened him, however the idea that someone from Insane Inflation has enough money to afford a car is nothing but ridiculous. There is no car industry in Insane Inflation and no one would be crazy enough to sell a car for anything an Insanian has to offer.
Krytenia
20-01-2005, 13:58
[OOC: Dammit you're a slippery one]

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST
Early Edition

Oops

THE identity of the man arrested last night, originally believed to be Siki Rej, has now been revealed to be a known Rejistanian thug with the similar moniker of Siki Re~lj, a name verbally almost identical.

Re~lj is also being sued by the Starblaydi car rental company which supplied the rental car. However, it is possible he could leave Krytenia without going to criminal trial, as what was originally believed to be an ordinary coffe-maker that Re~lj used as a weapon could be the famed Golden Cafetiere stolen from the KFA offices by an official from Fmjphoenix.
Jeruselem
20-01-2005, 15:00
Jeruselem Government News

Jeruselem roll on without Silverstein

Jeruselem without captain Himie Silverstein had a challenge on it's hands. It had to play Iansisle with new captain Louis Levant in charge of Crusaders. The Ians inconsistency so far has baffled experts and most expected the Ians to beat Jeruselem. How wrong.

The Crusaders won a famous victory 3-2 against Iansisle who didn't play like a top 20 ranked team. Once again the infamous Jeruselem attack clicked scoring three and but the Ians did make it a close and tight game with two goals of their own.

Legalese held Crystilakere to a 1 ALL draw in an encouraging display of courage. Eystrck should have beaten Nevigrad, but they only got one point in a disappointing scoreless draw. Praying2God won again, this time against South Osettia 2-1. It was better than their 3-5 fiasco last game for the South Osettians.

The Group 3 table is a mess with Iansisle 3rd last and Praying2God third while Jeruselem and Crystilakere lead the way.


Group 3
Jeruselem 3 Iansisle 2
Legalese 1 Crystilakere 1
Praying2God 2 South Osettia 1
Nevigrad 0 Eystrck 0

Group 3 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Crystilakere 6 4 3 0 12 3 14 +9
Jeruselem 6 4 1 1 12 7 13 +5
Praying2God 6 4 0 2 6 8 12 -2
Eystrck 6 3 3 1 8 7 9 +1
Legalese 6 2 2 2 11 8 8 +3
Iansisle 6 2 1 3 12 10 7 +2
South Osettia 6 0 2 4 8 17 2 -9
Nevigrad 6 0 1 5 1 10 1 -9
Spurland
20-01-2005, 15:19
Second Win, Manager Satisfied.
Wickerslack 1 v 2 Spurland

Spurland managed their second win in a row, and second win in qualifying against Wickerslack by a 1-2 score line. Spurland took the lead soon after the kick-off, and scored their second just before halftime.

Wolf scored both the goals. The first came of a free kick in the 5th minute that was deflected by a defender straight into the top corner of the goal, just out of reach of the outstretched keeper. The second was a result of some innovative passing from midfielder Abbot in the 42nd minute. 0-2 was the score at half time.

Wickerslacks only goal of the game was a result of a penalty given away from Albert Kaholic after a late tackle. He was cautioned. Even though their two goal cushion had been reduced to one goal, Wickerslack never really threatened the Spurland goal, and never looked like taking any points away from the game.

”I’m satisfied with the result, we got the points, that’s all that important. All we need now is a win against Irenadia, and then maybe we just might be able to get back in with a chance of qualifying. For now, lets concentrate on more important matters, where’s that beer gone,” commented the Spurland Manager.

Spurland are expected to make one change to their line up for the next game, with David Beecham replacing Robbie Manali who picked up a knock.

Expected Line-Up v Irenadia (4-4-2)
1. Xavier Breach

2. Marcus Abbot
3. Albert Kaholic
18. Peter Head
5. Andy Lambert

6. Graham Mead
8. Richard Oldman
16. David Beecham
15. Jon Cream

10. Martin Wolf
20. Tokai Hashish


FIXTURES/RESULTS
MD01: The Lowland Clans v Spurland L 4-0
MD02: Spurland v Turori L 0-2
MD03: Oaker v Spurland D 2-2
MD04: Spurland v Tadjikistan L 0-4
MD05: Lethislavania v Spurland W 0-1
MD06: Wickerslack v Spurland W 1-2
MD07: Spurland v Irenadia
MD08: Spurland v The Lowland Clans
MD09: Turori v Spurland
MD10: Spurland v Oaker
MD11: Tadjikistan v Spurland
MD12: Spurland v Lethislavania
MD13: Spurland v Wickerslack
MD14: Irenadia v Spurland


Group 5 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Turori 6 4 2 0 13 5 14 +8
Tadjikistan 6 3 2 1 11 3 11 +8
Oaker 6 3 2 1 8 6 11 +2
Lethislavania 6 3 1 2 7 5 10 +2
The Lowland Clans 6 2 1 3 9 7 7 +2
Spurland 6 2 1 3 5 13 7 -8
Wickerslack 6 1 1 4 6 12 4 -6
Irenadia 6 1 0 5 3 11 3 -8
Vilita
20-01-2005, 15:30
Eels Unbeaten ahead of Tadjik Clash

The Turori Eels National team is training fiercly in Almintora, Turori in preperations for their big clash with Tadjikistan, that will probably be over by the time this report airs. The Eels are becoming firece rivals with Tadjikistan, after meeting up with them in the World Cup 19 Group Stage which saw the two goliaths in a war on the pitch in a fight for superiority on the list of teams beginning with a "T". The Eels currently have the edge over Tadjikistan in that department, and a win over them today could solidify Turori as a contender on the lines of Total n Utter Insanity and The Eagles Nest, a whole level up from the days of battling with Tadjikistan. There will be a large Melmondian presence in the Turori lineup, with O'Connor Green's striker Jutar Renaso (Spelled completeley wrong as i'm on a public computer) getting his first big starting role as Turori experiment with a 3-1-4-3 formation.


EDIT: I was logged in with Turori, i swear :(
Eauz
20-01-2005, 15:39
Les Bleus will return home Lundi, after a miserable road trip, which saw them win one match and tie two others, against weaker teams. Eauz just chocked it up to the conditions of the long road trip, and Margaret. Despite the problems on this road trip, a few things were good for Eauz players, as they got to see new lands, which they had never seen before, created more fan support for them in other countries and many of them realized that they should not consume so much of that wonderful Rejistanian Café.

The next match for Eauz will come against Krytenia, which seems to be gaining speed, but not receiving much public notice. They, along with Eauz are the only team’s undefeated in-group 1, so something should give between these two teams. Krytenia are also coming off a 3 – 2 victory over Rejistania, who have not appeared to be the same team, after going 4 – 0 – 0 in the first 4 matches. Eauz though will be at home, and in the last 8 matches (including last qualifying round) they are a combined 6 – 1 – 1 at home, with the only loss to Rejistania, and this came during match day 12 of last world cup qualifying round. If the match of group 1 was between Rejistania and Eauz, the match for Eauz will be between Krytenia and Eauz, as this will prove if Eauz is strong enough for the cup, or if they will show signs of past years again.

It is expected to be an almost filled stadium for tonight’s match, as fans become excited about the changes in the Eauz team, and they also want to see how well their home team plays against tougher teams. Time will only tell for Eauz and their fans…

And while you are waiting for the Eauz match, tune into some Cricket, as Eauz is in The Eagles Nest for a qualifying round.
Snub Nose 38
20-01-2005, 15:44
EDIT: I was logged in with Turori, i swear :(There's no swearing in NS World Cup...;)
Fmjphoenix
20-01-2005, 16:50
Golden Cafetiere on display at Viking Stadium

Even with words of Krytenia possibly trying to recapture the Golden Cafetiere, the FAF has decided to hold a display to show off the amazing coffee maker. Rumors that it was stolen by Siki Re~lj were proved false when the coffee maker he stole was just an ordinary one painted gold.

While the Golden Cafetiere is on display, there is still a large security force around it. There are motion sensors surrounding the inside of the case so if someone gets to close to the case, hundreds of MPs will be on the person(s) within seconds. The security will be extra tight when the Vikings return home after the match with Bedistan, even though they will only be staying in town long enough to use the mystical coffee maker to make the best damn coffee period.
South Osettia
20-01-2005, 17:45
I woke up refreshed and rejuvenated, with a new-found love of life. My landlady obviously did not share my love for life, as she slapped me when I tried to kiss her. I, however, did not care. Today was the day that either we would beat Nevigrad, or I would become a millionaire: it was a difficult choice to make, but it was a win-win situation for me, and those are the types of situations I like to be in.

My change in mood was noticed at work - most people were shocked when I greeted them in the hallways or made a compliment about their garb. There was one obvious reason for my new-found happiness.

"I see you took some pills then."

"Yes, Polly, I took the pills of enlightenment, and can now see so much clearer."

"You took cocaine, didn't you?"

"No."

"Heroin?"

"No."

"Ecstasy?"

"No."

"Then which drug did you take?"

"I took no drugs, Polly. It was a metaphor."

"Oh...a metaphor for what?"

"Last night I had a vision. God visited me in a dream and sorted everything out for me."

"Right...did God, bu any chance, slip you some drugs?"

"No, God didn't slip me any drugs. I'm just naturally happy."

"I don't think I've ever seen you naturally happy."

"That's because you usually manage to quash my good mood by 9:05."

"I think the record stands at 9:01, actually."

"Whatever, Polly. Today, nothing can spoil my mood."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."

"How about the fact that we might lose to Nevigrad today."

"Especially not that. That is the one thing I am absolutely not going to get worked up about."

"Wow, those drugs must really have been something."

"No drugs, Polly. Just a bit of straight talking from the man upstairs."

"Cary?"

"No, a little higher than that."

"The janitor?"

"No, Polly, think outside of the building."

"Oh, an airplane pilot."

"No, Polly, God. God is the man upstairs."

"So what did he look like?"

"Who?"

"The man upstairs."

"He's about 7'5'', slightly balding, wears a lot of white."

"Beard?"

"Yeah."

"Interesting. You know what, Emmett, I'm just gonna do some paperwork..." Polly sidled away from me and out of the office before obviously going to tell her assistant chums about me being delusional. But I didn't care. Today was all about me gaining. The question was, what?
Druida
20-01-2005, 18:43
Unknown helper: "Hello... Stop rining us for the matchday seven football results (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7990520#post7990520)... Yes, I know the World Cup will be half in Druida, but that isn't the point, the point is, none of the qualifyers actually take place here... You want to know how your team's done... well, wait a few minutes, I'll just get my copy of the Daily Druid and I'll tell you... wait... ah, there we are. Now, where are you from again? Hello... hello? Yes... Well, apparently, a lot of teams scored a couple of goals, with the others scoring more, less or fewer... was that much help... no... ah well, tough luck, you'll just have to look in the scores thread (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7990520#post7990520) like everyone else... OK... Bye now!"
Snub Nose 38
20-01-2005, 19:16
Unknown helper: "Hello... Stop rining us for the matchday seven football results (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7990520#post7990520)... Yes, I know the World Cup will be half in Druida, but that isn't the point, the point is, none of the qualifyers actually take place here... You want to know how your team's done... well, wait a few minutes, I'll just get my copy of the Daily Druid and I'll tell you... wait... ah, there we are. Now, where are you from again? Hello... hello? Yes... Well, apparently, a lot of teams scored a couple of goals, with the others scoring more, less or fewer... was that much help... no... ah well, tough luck, you'll just have to look in the scores thread (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7990520#post7990520) like everyone else... OK... Bye now!"MESSAGE

FROM: Ministry of Statistics, Other Totally Useless Information, and Band Aids for the Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38

TO: The Druidian / Starblaydian Consortium of Statwonkers, Statisticians, and Makers of Various Public Announcements

Sir/Madam/Whatsis: Nothing is quite as...um...rewarding?...as a phyric victory. We find the defendant...(oops...wrong script!) we find the following correction needs to be made.

As reads:
Group 6 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Audioslavia 7 7 0 0 14 2 21 +12
Spaam 7 4 2 1 16 7 14 +7
Wella 7 3 2 2 13 11 11 +2
One Red Dot 7 3 1 3 11 9 10 +2
East Lithuania 7 1 2 4 8 14 5 -6
Snub Nose 38 7 2 1 4 9 12 7 -3
San Verdi 7 1 1 5 7 12 4 -6
Giant Zucchini 7 2 1 4 12 18 7 -6
Should read: (assumes all math is correct)
Group 6 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Audioslavia 7 7 0 0 14 2 21 +12
Spaam 7 4 2 1 16 7 14 +7
Wella 7 3 2 2 13 11 11 +2
One Red Dot 7 3 1 3 11 9 10 +2
Snub Nose 38 7 2 1 4 9 12 7 -3
Giant Zucchini 7 2 1 4 12 18 7 -6
East Lithuania 7 1 2 4 8 14 5 -6
San Verdi 7 1 1 5 7 12 4 -6
Thank you.

Good night, Mrs. Calabash, where ever you are.

Wanda Geditrite
The Second Assistant Deputy Minister's
Under Secretary to the Third Subalterns Alternate Handyman
on Thursdays
For the Ministry of Statistics, Other...oh, you know
Sarzonia
20-01-2005, 19:19
Stars earn 'signature win' with 'sane' play

One thing had been missing from the Sarzonian national team's run of near miss World Cup qualifying campaigns since World Cup 17. Even in the team's first-ever appearance in the World Cup finals, the Stars have not had that one defining win that football wags throughout the country called a "signature win."

They got that tonight. Facing a Total 'n Utter Insanity side that was the world's fifth ranked team and the top seed in the group away, the Stars came up with arguably their biggest win since a 5-0 thrashing of Giant Zucchini and knocked Total 'n Utter Insanity from the ranks of the unbeaten, 2-1.

"We needed to play a good game of football in a hostile environment and we accomplished that," Coach Dave Wilson said. "You saw what we can do when we play Sarzonian football."

The team dominated possession from the opening kickoff, holding the ball for 57 minutes to 43 for the Insanicans. Midfielders Bobby Convey and Darwin Russell essentially played keep-away en route to the first Sarzonian goal, a one-time bid by forward Barry Alphonso that scorched the back of the net and probably left the goalkeeper relieved he wasn't in the way. That goal gave the Stars a 1-0 lead 43 minutes in and left the Insanicans stunned as they ran off the field at the half.

Sarzonia continued to apply pressure after winning the ball in midfield, but the Insanicans got their goal thanks to a counter that started when defender Mike Coyle slipped on the turf. The Insanicans got their equalizer off the boot of their leading playmaking midfielder after defender Lance Alcina committed early on a shot attempt by the team's withdrawn forward. Sixty four minutes into the match, it was level at 1-1.

"[Forward Brian Wilson] did a great job keeping the lads in the game," assistant coach Barry Owens said after the match as he watched the son of the head coach going up to Coyle and Alcina and shouting encouragement. Wilson did his part athletically as well, driving home a head ball off a cross by Russell to give the Stars a lead just four minutes later.

Desperate pressure by the Insanicans failed to dent the goal behind Troy Perkins and the Stars began a low-key celebration after the final whistle.

"We've got a long way to go before we've done what we need to," Russell said, commenting about the muted reaction to the upset win. "We're in a position now where we expect to win these games and it's good that we've been able to do that."
Talzeckia
20-01-2005, 19:36
Tides snap funk with 2-1 win

Coach Avid Mashoda figured scoring would be a problem for his nascent footballers representing the Sarzonian colony of Talzeckia. The team had barely had a chance to string practices together and hardly even knew each other's names when they gathered to begin training for the World Cup.

Few observers, however, thought it would take seven matches for the Tides to put more than one ball behind the opponent's goalkeeper, but the relative offensive outburst came at a good time as Talzeckia defeated Baptism of Fire veterans GT-R 2-1 away.

"It's been a struggle for this team, but we didn't expect to have smooth sailing," Mashoda said in a press conference after the match. "It's nice to be able to talk about football for a change after all the controversy surrounding Nicky."

Goalkeeper Nick Reynolds shook off the talk surrounding his stripping in front of television cameras and made five saves on 14 GT-R shots. The only goal he allowed was by Hoarce Matthews, who slipped a mark by Talzecki defender Jeff Randle and tapped the ball behind Reynolds, who overcommitted.

"That was a rookie mistake," Reynolds said. "I panicked."

However, the rest of the team didn't. Forward Wilton Wanadoo equalized in the 54th minute thanks to a cynical challenge on midfielder Brooke Forsythe by Geovanni. The Druidian referee then sent Geovanni off and pointed to the spot where Wanadoo slammed home a right-booted shot for 1-1.

Forward Kevin Brady used every ounce of his football savvy to score the match-winner in the 79th minute as he faked his way through a determined effort by GT-R's backline to preserve the standings point and slipped a shot between the legs of goalkeeper Alfred Woods for the final margin of victory. After the final whistle sounded, the team piled on top of each other as if they had won the World Cup.

The Tides (2-4-1, seven points) have yet to win a match at home, with the team with the team's only bright spot at home coming in the match against eighth ranked Kaze Progressa. The team is 0-2 at Tide Field in Talzeckia City and 0-0-1 at Colonial Park in Constantine, but is 2-2 away. Mashoda said the team has fewer distractions away from home.

"We don't read the Talzecki papers when we're in hotels. We just play the game."
Krytenia
20-01-2005, 19:42
THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

Bleu Day

UNDEFEATED no more. This is the truth facing the Celestials this morning after last night's defeat against an impressive Eauz side. The defeat leaves Krytenia third in the table on goal difference only ahead of Oceaice. Les Bleus had the better of the game, scoring goals in each half to bury Krytenia's hopes, with only an Acienko Rimmer consolation for the visitors. Limp Wristed Fish are next, and the Celestials will be hoping to get back to winning ways there.

EAUZ..........................2
Vasser 21
Alia 58
KRYTENIA....................1
Rimmer 80
Hiiraan
20-01-2005, 19:52
Hiiraan Wins 2 times in a row.
Next: Squornshelous

Hiiraan has Showed Tremendous Effort after giving Two Unforgettable Games, The Team has been filled with Confidence and is now more ready for the Squornshelous, The Squornshelous have beaten as in our first game, however in their defeats and confidence fall, the team has been going down and Hiiraan is now is going to be full of plays, The Hiiraan Football Federation has Announced many times that the team was going to go to full Training camps before the game and Prepare their ass off, If Hiiraanians win this game, it will not only propel them in the Football world, but will also Fill the Confidence level and make us win more many games, The Hiiraanians are ready for this game as we are ready for many other Games, The team has Been Scoring Goals as soon as the came to the tournament but the team was in default for the first games of the Cup, however the team has Proven it can win big games by beating Liverpool England, and by going to tie TEN who is now under us in the table.

The Hiiraanian men have been seen all around the wall for their incredible games, they are now one of the most watched teams both in Europe and Asia and are moving towards incredible teams/clubs.

The team is now geared for the Squornshelous game and is going to be dropped at Camp Delta, one of the Hiiraanians Football Federations Many Camps that was set up to improve Hiiraanians Winnings.

The team is now geared for the Squornshelous game and is going to be dropped at Camp Delta, one of the Hiiranians Football Federations Many Camps that was set up to improve Hiiranians Winnings.

Records

3 -3-1

MD01: Squornshelous L 4-1
MD02: The Eagles Nest D 1-1
MD03: The Weegies L 3-1
MD04: Liverpool England W 1-0
MD05: Kingsford L 2-0
MD06: Ratvipa W 3-0
MD07: Antaeus Rising W 2-0
MD08:@Squornshelous
MD09:@The Eagles Nest
MD010:@The Weegies
MD011:@Liverpool England

Table:

Group 9 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
The Weegies 7 4 1 2 10 7 13 +3
Kingsford 7 4 1 2 10 8 13 +2
Squornshelous 7 3 2 2 19 10 11 +9
Liverpool England 7 3 1 3 13 7 10 +6
Hiiraan 7 3 1 3 9 10 10 -1
The Eagles Nest 7 2 3 2 8 7 9 +1
Antaeus Rising 7 3 0 4 6 14 9 -8
Ratvipa 7 1 1 5 2 14 4 -12
Five Civilized Nations
20-01-2005, 20:17
National Team Beats Nanakaland After Losing to Sybex

After the stunning 3-1 loss to the Sybex team, a team that the National Team trounced in the Baptism of Fire Cup, the National Team went into a period of first denial and then an overwhelming will to change.

The team performed sluggishly yesterday, half-hearted after a string of four defeats to higher ranking opponents. Although Team Captain Ma Xiong was eager to defeat the Sybex team, under-par performances by star forwards, Yu Yan and Zhong Jin, caused the team to stumble, overwhelmed by the opponent's better offensive and defensive play.

Even though they faced a lower ranking opponent, the inability, in actuality the utter failure, of the team to perform up to expectations greatly hurt the team, as the Sybex team scored three goals in quick succession. Even though the National Team rallied late in the second half, they were unable to overcome the three point deficit, losing the match 3-1.

It was clear that the National Team was not ready to perform on the international level, even though they had placed second in the Baptism of Fire Cup. However, this fact was disproved in today's match.

With widespread practicing change, alongside full-scale analysis of the playing styles of opposing teams, the National Team defeated the Nanakaland team 1-0 today. Strong defensive measures by all four defenders prevented Nanakaland from scoring.


Group 8 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Vilita 7 6 0 1 16 4 18 +12
Nova Britannicus 7 5 1 1 16 7 16 +9
Lykaia 7 3 2 2 7 9 11 -2
Lovisa 7 3 1 3 12 9 10 +3
Finrods 7 3 1 3 10 11 10 -1
Sybex 7 2 1 4 6 14 7 -8
Five Civilized Nations 7 2 0 5 9 14 6 -5
Nanakaland 7 1 0 6 2 10 3 -8
South Osettia
20-01-2005, 20:31
"Hey, you actually made it today." Moira Jackson looked impressed, and I was impressed that she was impressed whilst she was impressed that I was impressed that she was impressed. Nevertheless I was not impressed with our performance so far, and I felt pressed, not impressed, to get a win today, because I wasn't sure if I could take the pressure of another defeat.

"I though I'd make an appearance, yeah. After all, tonight is the night that we get what we deserve." For once, I didn't add.

"Well, you got here just in time - the coffee's fresh and the doughnuts are still warm." Coffee, doughnuts and a good result - three things that, when combined, truly made my day.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!

"Here we go." I grabbed a coffee in one hand a doughnut in the other, and waited with bated breath for the result to appear.

Latest World Cup Score

South Osettia 3
Nevigrad 1

My sigh was one of relief. We were finally off the mark, and were only three points off Legalese in sixth. The cheers were quieter than usual, probably because most people thought it was ludicrous that it had taken this long. Nevertheless, the mood was one of joy. It was then that I remembered God's pact, and that the win was probably my only chance of winning the lottery gone. Upon reflection, it was difficult for me to work out which I valued more - the three points or the fifty million kugra. It was something to ponder, and I added it to my mental 'To Do' list.

"So, we finally won then." It was at that that I remembered where I was, and saw Moira looking at me with a broad smile on her face.

"I guess we did."

"Let's hope it continues."

"I'll drink to that." I gulped down my coffee, and then realised that it was actually still scalding hot. After several minutes of guzzling ice water, my throat stopped burning. Some things just took a little longer to change.
The Belmore Family
20-01-2005, 20:39
Alan Belmore opens scoring against EL CID

Alan Belmore put on a spectacle last night as he dazzeled the crowd with his ledgendary skill. However tyhe game ended in tears as EL CID scored a late winner.

The first half went amazingly for TBF and we should have had the lead after 10 minutes when Alan Belmre drived home ashot which fell narrowly wide. But it was EL CID who took the incentive and got the opening goal when a defensive bluder left Barry Trotter one on one with the keeper - he calmly placed the ball in the back of the net after 37 minutes. But on the stroke of halftime Alan Belmore showed his brilliance. He sidestepped three defenders with ease and stoked the ball into the back of the net with considerable ease. The keeper was awestruck.

However, despite a vigilant second half Homer Dent managed to squeze past the Belmorian defence to grab a late winner leaving the final score:

THE BELMORE FAMILY 1

EL CID THE HERO 2
Fmjphoenix
20-01-2005, 21:10
Vikings earn tough win, hand Bedistan first loss

It was exactly what was needed. Following two hard matches which resulted in a 3-2 last minute loss to Sarzonia and a tough 3-0 slapping from Total n Utter Insanity, the Vikings finally managed to get a win against higher ranked team in the group and a refound confidence, by defeating Bedistan 2-1, stunning the home crowd.

This was a match of life or death to Fmjphoenix, and they played like it too. They never gave up, and never had to play form behind en route to only their 3rd win in seven matches. The match started off hard, with Wes Lipinski being given a yellow card for a takeout slide on Esteban Zeus that left him on the ground. He had to be taken off of the pitch on a cart and it is possible he has a broken shin. Alex Rivera came in and took the penelty shot for Zeus, but it was wide right. This had Fmjphoenix feeling a little disheartened, seeing as Zeus is a great motivational mentor for the young team, but it inspired Larry Brown to play even better. At 42 minutes, somehow Larry Brown was not seen as he slipped past Bedistan midfielders Xavior Parks and Kelly Bowden unnoticed. He then recieved a pass from Jason Mitchell. Brown ran past the defenders before they could respond fast enough and had enough time for a one-on-one with goalkeeper Nick Reagan, which Brown edged him with a hook out of Reagans reach to the left to go up 1-0.

The second half started off with Bedistan looking to tie things up with a quick strike, but Powell Lamar got a hand on a shot by Kyle Dean and deflected it out of bounds. Following the corner kick, Dean got the ball back, but faked a shot and passed to Vanessa Carpenter who got it past Lamar as he tried to get back to tie it at 51 minutes. The next twenty minutes was spent with both teams running all over the pitch trying to not let the other take the ball, with Bedistan holding on to the ball for roughly 12 minutes while only attempting one shot. But at 83 minutes Mike Nolan got the ball from Bobby Bash took a shot but it was deflected by Reagan. Unfortunetly for Bedistan and its fans, the ball landed right at the feet of Jorge Mendel who proceeded to fire it as hard as he could kick it before Reagan could get back to it to take the lead again 2-1. That score would last a late comeback by George Washburn, whose last shot sailed over the net.

Fans watching the game on the large Trinitrons inside of Viking Stadium erupted into cheers when the match ended with the Vikings getting their best win this World Cup. The team was estatic, but did not have much time to celebrate on the field, as the team left barely an hour after the match in order to go back to Fmjphoenix so they could use the Golden Cafetiere for some much wanted coffee, seeing as it is more frequently dranken than any alcoholic beverage.

Fmjphoenix: 2
(Brown 42, Mendel 83)

Bedistan: 1
(Carpanter 51)

World Cup XX Qualification:
MD01: Fmjphoenix vs. Nouveau Richelieu Win 4-2
MD02: Fmjphoenix @ Haperd Lose 1-2
MD03: Fmjphoenix vs. Qia Lose 0-1
MD04: Fmjphoenix @ Ninurta Win 4-1
MD05: Fmjphoenix @ Sarzonia Lose 2-3
MD06: Fmjphoenix vs. Total n Utter Insanity Lose 0-3
MD07: Fmjphoenix @ Bedistan Win 2-1
------------------------------------------------
MD08: Fmjphoenix @ Noveau Richelieu
MD09: Fmjphoenix vs. Hapred
MD10: Fmjphoenix @ Qia
MD11: Fmjphoenix vs. Ninurta
MD12: Fmjphoenix vs. Sarzonia
MD13: Fmjphoenix @ Total n Utter Insanity
MD14: Fmjphoenix vs. Bedistan
Record: 3-0-4
Legalese
20-01-2005, 21:14
As the plane reached cruising altitude, having just departed Ianisle, Manager Robbie Heard sat alone in the office set in the rear of the plane. Fortunately, Miguel had thought it a good idea to give the National Team Manager some privacy on the flights home, by affording this option to him on the team plane. It certainly came in handy at times like these, where he just needed to collect his thoughts.

Seven matches down, seven to go, and yet they're 5 points behind the final placeholders, Praying 2 God! Newcomers, nonetheless! The thought worried Robbie, as he sipped a scotch, to help soothe his nerves. Trying to operate an entire Confederation was difficult, even if the national operation only consisted of the national side, as well as the reserves for the moment.

As the thoughts of tactics and lineups crawled through the manager's head, Robbie realized another dilemma he had to consider: Should I tell the guys about Tommy?

As he found out shortly after the draw with Crystilakere, Tommy Walters was not only still alive, but in decent physical condition. While his struggle in the storm had weakened him, there were no major problems there. "Nothing that a little bed rest won't solve" was how the Nurse put it.

Nonetheless, the thought of bringing Legalese's hero back in was cause for concern to the manager. Was he of a mindset to play? Has he slayed the demons that sent him away the first time? Will he be what the Black and Red need over the next few months of qualifying?

"Well," said Robbie, now slightly grinning, to himself, "I guess we're just gonna have to find out, aren't we?"
Sarzonia
20-01-2005, 21:23
Halfway Home Analysis

Group 1
The big surprise here seems to be former repeat Cup winners Rejistania sitting in second place in the group behind Eauz. Admittedly, not much of a surprise since Eauz is also a tough team. Krytenia may be a mild surprise sitting in third, but a team that can beat the Orange-Blues deserves to be in position to go through.

Group 2
Commerce Heights is up for nomination as the most disappointing team in World Cup XX qualifying so far since the CapitaliZts are three points behind the Futility Kings of Big Pimento. Cockbill Street's first place performance may be a slight surprise, but Dance 2 Revolution has been to the big dance before.

Group 3
The defending World Cup champions Crystilakere is in first, which isn't surprising, but their 4-3-0 record is a mild surprise. The Philosophers from Jeruselem are in the hunt, just one point behind the Crystils. The surprise here is Iansisle being in fourth behind long-absent Praying2God.

Group 4
No surprise here. EL CID THE HERO and Melmond in favourable positions to advance through to the finals should shock no one. The Belmore Family looks to earn their way into the Finals after co-hosting World Cup XIX, but Nonesuch Street and Slaikau are nipping at their heels only one point behind.

Group 5
The surprise of the group so far is The Lowland Clans sitting in fifth place, but they're only one point out of third. Lethislavania is still in striking distance of first place Turori but they're also just two points clear of third.

Group 6
Audioslavia is the only team without even a tie to besmirch their record so far in qualifying. Spam and Wella are well behind the Slaves, who look like they may be a win or two away from clinching a spot in the Finals.

Group 7
Kaze Progressa's fall from grace has been precipitous as the eighth ranked team entering World Cup qualifying would barely squeeze into the third and final slot in the Finals if the finals began today. Svecia look to be in form, but Kylaai is currently the pleasant surprise of the group. Adam Island are having a hard time following up their stunning debut of World Cup 19 and Talzeckia is surprising just for having won two matches and drawn Kaze Progressa.

Group 8
Two Atlantian Oceania sides are leading the way in Group 8, and the fact they are Vilita and Nova Brittanicus shouldn't surprise anyone. Lykaia looks like they might squeeze past perennial surprise team Lovisa for a bid to the finals, but there's still plenty of football left.

Group 9
The Weegies are finally sending their media to the World Cup after an extended break and they have something to write home about. Their team is in the midst of a Cinderfella run to the World Cup finals but are facing a stern challenge from second place Kingsford, leading only in goal differential. Liverpool England being one point out of third is the surprise of the group.

Group 10
Arguably the most normal of the groups sees only one mild surprise: Sarzonia sitting three points clear of Total 'n Utter Insanity for first place in the group. Bedistan is only two points clear of fourth place Haperd and Fmjphoenix hasn't lived up to the Cinderfella billing they got heading into the Cup.
Eauz
20-01-2005, 21:29
False Allegations

Les Bleus were finally home, after a miserable road trip, but were still flying on having not been beat. Krytenia also came into the match with a 0 in the loss column, something had to give between the two teams. Moreaux, one of the top players for Krytenia, was enjoying his first time in Eauz, and he said he hoped to do the same to Eauz, as they did to Rejistania.

We pick this one up in the 18th minute of play, with Eauz on the assault. A long pass by D'Aubigne went straight to Rousseau, who let one rip, and just after the shot, was taken out by the Krytenia defender. The shot went sailing over the net, and left Rousseau on the ground acting like he was injured. The referee would have nothing of it, and continued play. Three minutes later, Eauz regained control of the ball, and reorganized their team. Vasser got control of the ball, and passed it to Theodoric, who’s shot clanked off the woodwork, but WAIT, Watch Out! Vasser out of nowhere, heads the ball into the net, putting Eauz up 1 – 0. Krytenia looked a bit shell-shocked, by the goal and were really not in the first half of the match. Lacavailler came close to putting his team up another goal in the 40th minute of play, as his shot went off the crossbar, and was caught by Vernazza. Boulongeur received a yellow card for an attack, which resulted in a free kick for Krytenia. The kick though sailed over the top of the net. The first half ended in a 1 – 0 lead for Eauz.

The second half brought about some strange events, as not even 30 seconds into the match, Alia took the ball towards the Krytenia keeper, but the keeper knocked the ball out of play, but the referee blew the whistle and called a foul on Vernazza the keeper. The keeper was frustrated, and argued with the referee, to no avail. Alia took the free kick, but as if Vernazza had turned into Superman, he dove in the direction of the ball, and knocked it away from going into the net, this pumped Vernazza up but it didn’t appear it helped Krytenia in a whole. Alia though would have his revenge, as during a misplay in the Eauz zone, Costé got the ball, and 4 Eauz players were off to the races against the three defenders. Vasser saw Alia open, and passed it to him. Alia saw the opening in the defence and then put it past Vernazza, putting Eauz up 2 – 0. Alia, after the goal, gave Vernazza a look, and pointed to the scoreboard. It appeared that a possible rivalry had started, at least between Alia and Vernazza. The frustrated Krytenia team did achieve one goal in this match, as during the 80th minute of play, a pass in front of the net was intercepted by Rimmer who took it and placed it top shelf, embarrassing the Eauz defence and fans. It was too little, too late, as Eauz went on to the 2 – 1 victory over Vernazza.The match had finished, the whistle had blown, time was up, but looking up at the scoreboard, it said to the Eauz fans Eauz 1 – 2 Krytenia. How was this possible? Had someone made a mistake in the board? Nonetheless, officials, and fans knew that Eauz had won the match 2 – 1, making them the only undefeated team in group 1. With the first half over, Eauz finishes with a 5 – 2 – 0 record, putting them in good place to qualify for the cup.

In other news, there are reports that both officials from Eauz and Krytenia met during the match between these two clubs, and have tought about hosting together the 21st World Cup. At the moment, both sides say they are only talks, and nothing official has been declared.


Group 1 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Eauz 7 5 2 0 15 5 17 +10
Rejistania 7 5 0 2 13 5 15 +8
Krytenia 7 3 3 1 11 7 12 +4
Oceaice 7 3 3 1 10 8 12 +2
Shonar Bangla 7 2 3 2 9 9 9 0
Lamoni 7 2 1 4 7 17 7 -10
Limp Wristed Fish 7 1 1 5 5 11 4 -6
Pterodactyl 7 0 1 6 5 13 1 -8

Match Day 1: Pterodactyl @ Eauz W 0 - 2
Match Day 2: Eauz @ Lamoni W 4 - 1
Match Day 3: Limp Wristed Fish @ Eauz W 0 - 3
Match Day 4: Eauz @ Oceaice T 2 - 2
Match Day 5: Eauz @ Rejistania W 1 - 0
Match Day 6: Eauz @ Shonar Bangla T 2 - 2
Match Day 7: Krytenia @ Eauz W 1 - 2

Match Day 8: Eauz @ Pterodactyl
Match Day 9: Lamoni @ Eauz
Match Day 10: Eauz @ Limp Wristed Fish
Match Day 11: Oceaice @ Eauz
Match Day 12: Rejistania @ Eauz
Match Day 13: Shonar Bangla @ Eauz
Match Day 14: Eauz @ Krytenia



With the help of the Minister of Useless things and facts, we were able to compose a half period stat of the top teams so far in this qualifying round. Below are the results:


Group 1 P W D L GF GA Pts GD
Audioslavia 7 7 0 0 14 2 21 +12
Sarzonia 7 6 1 0 16 6 19 +10
Svecia 7 6 0 1 19 5 18 +14
Vilita 7 6 0 1 16 4 18 +12
Cockbill Street 7 6 0 1 16 7 18 +9
Eauz 7 5 2 0 15 5 17 +10
Turori 7 5 2 0 15 6 17 +9
Total n Utter Insanity 7 5 1 1 15 5 16 +10
Nova Britannicus 7 5 1 1 16 7 16 +9
EL CID THE HERO 7 5 1 1 14 6 16 +8
Crystilakere 7 4 3 0 14 5 15 +9
Rejistania 7 5 0 2 13 5 15 +8
Dance 2 Revolution 7 5 0 2 14 7 15 +7
Spaam 7 4 2 1 16 7 14 +7
Jeruselem 7 4 2 1 14 9 14 +5
Kylaai 7 4 1 2 9 6 13 +3
Lethislavania 7 4 1 2 9 6 13 +3
The Weegies 7 4 1 2 10 7 13 +3
Kingsford 7 4 1 2 10 8 13 +2
Big Pimento 7 4 1 2 11 11 13 0
Praying2God 7 4 1 2 7 9 13 -2
Bedistan 7 3 3 1 10 6 12 +4
Krytenia 7 3 3 1 11 7 12 +4
Kaze Progressa 7 3 3 1 9 7 12 +2
Oceaice 7 3 3 1 10 8 12 +2
Squornshelous 7 3 2 2 19 10 11 +9
Sliponia 7 3 2 2 18 11 11 +7
Tadjikistan 7 3 2 2 12 5 11 +7
Wella 7 3 2 2 13 11 11 +2
Melmond 7 3 2 2 10 9 11 +1
The Belmore Family 7 3 2 2 10 9 11 +1
Oaker 7 3 2 2 9 9 11 0
Lykaia 7 3 2 2 7 9 11 -2
The Lowland Clans 7 3 1 3 12 8 10 +4
Liverpool England 7 3 1 3 13 7 10 +6
Iansisle 7 3 1 3 14 11 10 +3
Lovisa 7 3 1 3 12 9 10 +3
One Red Dot 7 3 1 3 11 9 10 +2
Commerce Heights 7 3 1 3 11 10 10 +1
Eystrck 7 2 4 1 10 9 10 +1
Haperd 7 3 1 3 12 11 10 +1
Nonesuch Street 7 3 1 3 9 8 10 +1
Finrods 7 3 1 3 10 11 10 -1
Hiiraan 7 3 1 3 9 10 10 -1
Oddslavo 7 3 1 3 11 12 10 -1
Slaikau 7 3 1 3 9 11 10 -2
The Eagles Nest 7 2 3 2 8 7 9 +1
Fmjphoenix 7 3 0 4 13 13 9 0
Shonar Bangla 7 2 3 2 9 9 9 0
Adam Island 7 3 0 4 12 12 9 0
Antaeus Rising 7 3 0 4 6 14 9 -8
Legalese 7 2 2 3 12 10 8 +2
Spurland 7 2 2 3 5 13 8 -8
Raptor Claw 7 2 1 4 8 10 7 -2
Korinthos 7 2 1 4 11 14 7 -3
Snub Nose 38 7 2 1 4 9 12 7 -3
Pedriana 7 2 1 4 4 9 7 -5
Giant Zucchini 7 2 1 4 12 18 7 -6
Qia 7 2 1 4 7 13 7 -6
Sybex 7 2 1 4 6 14 7 -8
Lamoni 7 2 1 4 7 17 7 -10
Talzeckia 7 2 1 4 4 16 7 -12
Harlesburg 7 1 3 3 6 8 6 -2
Five Civilized Nations 7 2 0 5 9 14 6 -5
GT-R 7 2 0 5 7 15 6 -8
Kipto-Mare 7 1 2 4 7 12 5 -5
East Lithuania 7 1 2 4 8 14 5 -6
South Osettia 7 1 2 4 11 18 5 -7
Limp Wristed Fish 7 1 1 5 5 11 4 -6
Royal Engrand 7 1 1 5 8 14 4 -6
San Verdi 7 1 1 5 7 12 4 -6
Wickerslack 7 1 1 5 7 14 4 -7
Irenadia 7 1 1 5 3 11 4 -8
Ninurta 7 1 1 5 6 17 4 -11
Ratvipa 7 1 1 5 2 14 4 -12
Nanakaland 7 1 0 6 2 10 3 -8
Nouveau Richelieu 7 1 0 6 5 13 3 -8
Aust 7 0 2 5 1 9 2 -8
Pterodactyl 7 0 1 6 5 13 1 -8
Nevigrad 7 0 1 6 2 13 1 -11
Total n Utter Insanity
20-01-2005, 21:45
Insanicians wait for Sarzonia match
Sarzonian team don't turn up

The Insanicians were left in the dark today as the match against Sarzonia, scheduled to take place today at the Insane Dome, failed to go ahead.

"We don't know what's going on, bloody Sarzombies. I bet they are trying to psych us out or sumthink."

Later everything became apparent. The Sarzonian team had traveled to Total An Utter Insanity, instead of Total And Utter Insanity and played the Insanicans, instead of the Insanicians. Unfortunately the officials had followed the Sarzonian lead. The Insanicans lost to Sarzonia in what they thought was a friendly match. The IFA has launched a series of complaints at the WCC.