World Cup 18 :: RP Thread [Archive] - Page 2

Fmjphoenix

29-10-2004, 09:48

FALE coaches arrive in Fmjphoenix, bring in a intense feeling
By Allen Newhouse

Vanguard, Fmjphoenix: A pumped up and intense feeling was in the air in the Fmjphoenix Training Complex, just outside of Viking Arena, helped releave tension in the team. Two coaches can from the FALE today to join the Fmjphoenix Viking coaching staff and bring a new dimension of fitness and finesse to an underachieving team. Fitness coach Brian Pulmore came into the training complex and began instituting a whole new regimine into the team. One that changes dieting habits to more healthier food, more running and leg lifting. He changed the workout routine for each position in a way to better improve stamina, endurence, dexterity, and agility over the next few weeks.

"With the way they used to be working out, it was more for people trying to play a sport with more upper body strength, not so much for the lower body." Coach Pulmore said, "This way I will be teaching them will be better used to make them faster, quicker, and more agile. Not only that, but they will be able to endure more running and just feel more energetic."

Finesse coach Gary Accrew went to work right away on their footwork with many different types of quick foot drills, used to increase their foot speed and agility even more. Also, he plans on working on their mentality.

"In order to win, they have to know they can win, not think it." Coach Accrew said in his first Fmjphoenix interview, "not only that, but they will begin to notice changes to increase their awareness so they can follow the match more completly. Soon you will see a difference in thei attitude."

We will see tommorow when the Vikings go to Ashibot with their new coachs. Tommorow plans to be a good show for a newly energized Fmjphoenix team.

"They have already made the atmosphere a lot better. I feel the team being less tense and I think this is just what we needed." Team captian Jorge Mendel said

Maserrat

29-10-2004, 10:44

Karpova Out Of Time

Poskit Karpova is expected to officially stand down as Maserrat coach after tongith's macth against Vilita. Yesterday's 2-2 draw with Somalialand was the final straw for the FA, and now the only thing that can possibly save the man is a vote in favour of the man by Slobodan Gresko, who seems to be too busy celebrating his win in the European Coalition elections to care. Karpova had this to say:

"I'm disappointed that the FA have asked me to step down. It has come at the worst possible time for the team, and I only hope that they can find somebody who can turn this team around, because they are going to need it."

Fighting talk there from Karpova, but it won't be enough. The final training session will be melancholy, but let's hope it doesn't affect the team too much for the biggest match in Maserratian history.

Audioslavia

29-10-2004, 13:10

Forum eats Audioslavia's RP
Somalialand Blamed

Audioslavia won 2-0, went on to take the piss out of Cockbill Street.

Me Jeremy, You Bitch

'nite

Jeruselem

29-10-2004, 13:24

Jeruselem Government News

Jeruselem 3rd despite 1 point from two games

Match days 5 and 6 brought a mixed results to the Crusaders. A disappointing 1 ALL draw with Smoking Pits where they really should have won was followed by a "expected" loss with Iansisle winning 2-1 in a tight game

Coach David Becks was upbeat about the results "The Smoking Pits was a disappointment. There were 3 points to get going and we only got 1. Our finishing is inconsistent and lacks accuracy, but our defense is now stable and definitely not the worst. I was happy with Iansisle game, really. We lost but Iansisle is the top dog and it showed. But we showed, we will not be steamrolle into the pitch and this young team can defend against the best attack."

Spaam lost two games in a row, with Iansisle handing out a lesson 3-0 and Crystilakere winning 4-2. Spaam fell from 4th to 6th, but then they did play the top 2 as well their loss to Jeruselem earler.

Beck spoke about Spaam "We talk about Iansisle and Crystilakere taking the top 2 while we and Spaam will probably fight for 3rd spot. Smoking pits is a chance, but Spaam cannot be written off. They can still make the top 2 with some decent wins. This is soccer and anything can happen."

In some bad news, Mimi Goldstein is out for the next two games due to a bad knee which needs rest. The new Captain is James Stuart.

MD 5
Group 1
Iansisle 3-0 Spaam
Crystilakere 1-1 Wapahkoneta
Jeruselem 1-1 Smoking Pits
Slaikau 4-3 New Dubai

MD 6
Jeruselem 1-2 Iansisle
Crystilakere 4-2 Spaam
Wapahkoneta 1-0 Slaikau
New Dubai 2-2 Smoking Pits

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Iansisle 5 4 1 0 19 4 15 13
2 Crystilakere 5 3 1 1 11 7 4 10
3 Jeruselem 5 2 2 1 7 7 0 8
4 Slaikau 5 1 3 1 10 10 0 6
5 Smoking Pits 5 1 3 1 4 6 -2 6
6 Spaam 5 1 2 2 4 7 -3 5
7 Wapahkoneta 5 1 1 3 5 9 -4 4
8 New Dubai 5 0 1 4 7 17 -10 1

Druida

29-10-2004, 15:01

The Tribune Tribune
Serving Druid Tribune and the surrounding area

BRING BACK THE MARGRET ARMY!
Trefor Blackmore on Druida 0 Avenging Altos 1

Calls grew for some kind of replacement for the Margaretisation scheme that the Druidan government recently abolished after it was revealed that they had used 5 billion cwuls on the project, as the team the process was supposed to help crashed to their first ever home defeat.

The stadium, now renamed "The Pot of Gold", as the Margaret Stadium sounds a bit outdated round these parts, played host to one of the less impressive international football matches you are ever likely to see. To be honest, conditions didn't help. It was just above freezing, and the pitch was peppered with hailstones for the duration of the match.

The only goal of the game came when one of the Altos' shots hit a giant hailstone that deflected the ball past a stranded Trefor "Elastic" Edwards in the Druida goal. It spelt the end of teh rainbows tenure in the qualifying positions in Group 3, as the group starts to revert to type (other than the distinctly dissapointing display of Cockbill Street so far.)

Meanwhile, rumours were circulating that the new plan that the Druidan government are considering is to use an RP machine, similar to the one rumoured to be used by The Eagles Nest. Though we don't know how exactly the machine would work, we are assured that it won't quite be up to the standard of the TEN machine due to the excessive costs of Margaretisation.

Finally, the Druidan plundering of players from ceased nations has been rumoured to be continuing. After picking up two former Giant Zucchini internationals in Urk and Thunk, it is thought that they are now to attempt to get at least one player from Halfassedstates. HAS vanished recently in a similar fashion to the way in which GZ did, and although the nation is still in the competition, it is thought that the team will probably be forced into forfeiting their remaining games.

If this is the case, then expect a move in the very near future. Otherwise, talks will still take place with the players, who would receive full Druidan citizenship, but they would not be able to play for Druida until their next qualifying campaign. The players involved are thought to be 25 year-old defender Stan Peters, captain John Bell, 30, and striker Robin Ya, 28. However, all of these reports are still as yet unconfirmed.

NEWI Cefn Druids

29-10-2004, 15:56

The (Less Than) Daily Druid

ALAN BELMORE SCORES HAT-TRICK
Björn-Trevor Frederiksson on The Belmore Family 1 NEWI Cefn Druids 3

Druids youngster Alan Belmore, son of Druids legend Alan Belmore, scored a hat-trick on his debut yesterday, as the Druids won 3-1 in TBF.

Alan Belmore, namesake of the legendary Belmorian striker Alan Belmore, who was in the stands for todays game, ripped into the Belmorians after replacing midfielder Trevor Rodgers at half time.

The Belmorians were actually ahead at half time, with one of their many Belmores scrambling home the ball in after a goalline scramble in which 19 men were trying to force the ball one way or the other.

Simon Greaves, disappointed at his teams lack of attacking impetus, decided to throw Belmore on against a team for which an intense dislike runs throughout the famous Druidish Belmores. Young Alan told us afterwards that he especially doesn't like his grandfather's homeland, saying that, "As I was growing up, people kept comparing me to the guy who used to play for them years ago. But I'm nothing like him. I've put up with it for years, and now I'm out to make them shut up. I'm going to be a bigger star than he ever was!"

Well, young Alan has a lot to live up to if that is the case. The original Alan Belmore was one of the greatest ever players, who ended up becoming the first living saint in history. But, if that's what he wants to beat, then he's got off to the best possible start. This hat-trick was of three spectacular goals with masses of individual skill that left everyone in the stadium amazed.

For the first he was put through one-on-one with the Belmorian keeper by Bill Posters, before running the ball round the keeper three times and finishing easily. Secondly was an effort from 45 yards which the Belmorian keeper flapping around. Then, finally, he ran the length of the pitch after a Belmorian corner was cleared, outpacing the Belmorian defence and chipping the keeper to round off one of the most spectacular hat-tricks you are ever likely to see.

Will Alan Belmore be better than Alan Belmore? We await with baited breath, but on this performance, you wouldn't bet against it!

Final Score:
The Belmore Family 1 [Belmore 24]
NEWi Cefn Druids 3 [Belmore 54, 67, 86]

The Eagles Nest

29-10-2004, 16:06

Forum And Sheer Frustration Cause TEN To Close Interviews

Somehow TEN Loses to SN38 by 2.

Due to overwhelming shock and dismay in the Nest, coupled with massive power outages, No story will be posted about the injustice that was the 2 goal loss to the Hooligans.

The Nest legistalure is right now drafting a bill that will ban all Hooligan cheerleaders and Margaret from entering the country quoting "civil unrest issues" as the reason.

Jeruselem

29-10-2004, 16:29

OOC

ALAN BELMORE, the Jesus Christ of NS Soccer!

Tadjikistan

29-10-2004, 16:34

Tadjik steets turn green

Dushanbe - With the help of Cherniakhovskij, Zhukov now prepared the Tigers for their clash with the team they had to beat: Cockbill Street. The Streeters were expected to run for second or tirdh place in the group, right behind Audioslavia. But Cockbill Street has failed to make that prediction true and now the Streets seek revenge for their failure in the first matches and came to Dushanbe to steal some points from the Tadjik sandwich.

But with their new -and in a sense old- form the Tigers had become a strong team. Now here was another chance to prove it. Shvydkoi started as midfielder in Zaevs place and with that change Cherniakhovskij gave in to the media who worshipped Shvydkoi's talent. Cherniakhovskij in his turn thought Shvydkoi to be a good alternative to Pliiev, should the latter get a guard in this game.

The Tigers made a slow start, probing the Streetian defense looking for holes while the Streets rush forwards. The first shot at the Tadjik box was averted by Yashin right foot. a rebound went high over and the Tigers knew they had to take the initiative. A move started by Pliiev on the left flank got the Tigers past the Stretian defense and into the last eleven meters, Gasparians kick was blocked by The Streetian keepers fists. But Kirponos had followed Gasparian and drove the rebound past the keeper. Its what Cherniakhovskij calls ball-recuperation, If it doesnt go in the first time it will the second time.

The Streets were amazed at the quick Tadjik move and realized the danger they were in. In the next minute they charged the Tadjik defense and made several good shots at the goal in less than 10 minutes. And if it doesnt go in the first time it will the second time, Cockbill Street made its first goal of the game in the 34th minute.

Both teams now saw the road to victory open to them, and took every opportunity to get on it. But eventually it were the Tigers who got on first and they threw the Streets off when Timoshenko scored with a powerful shot from the second line. Leading the game, the Tigers dropped back onto their own half. Gasparian and Pliiev still led several assaults at Zhukovs request.

The Streets come over the left flank and harrased the Tadjik defender several times. Gromov protected the Tadjik lead from a Streetian shot with his head. A second breakthrough ended when the Streetians bumped on Yashin. Kuznetsov took over and moved down the right flank Zaev. They got stopped by two Streetian defenders and passed to Gasparian who moved on the left side unhindered. Gasparian accepted this second chance with both hands and assaulted the Stretian goalkeeper beating him with a volley. Gasparians shot rolled into the goal, the fans got up and cheered for the Tadjik succes. The Streets knew they had lost and kept to defended their goal from further Tadjik moves while Tigers quit their offensive play.

The Tigers' fourth victory was very welcome. The Rainbows lost from Avenging Altos in Druida with 0-1 while The Oakers got overrun by Audioslavia with 2-0 and witnessed how Tadjikistan jumped to the second place in the group. The Tigers can now fortify their position against Oakers(36th on the ranking list) in Dushanbe. It will be a most interesting match between two good team. Oaker is not considered to be an underdog, just a bit disadvantaged by the fact the Tigers play at home.

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Audioslavia 6 5 0 1 15 3 12 15
2 Tadjikistan 6 4 0 2 16 8 8 12
3 Oaker 6 3 1 2 9 5 4 10
4 Druida 6 3 1 2 10 10 0 10
5 Avenging Altos 6 2 1 3 6 10 -4 7
6 Cockbill Street 6 1 3 2 7 8 -1 6
7 Kipto-Mare 6 2 0 4 6 14 -8 6
8 Vollmeria 6 0 2 4 3 14 -11 2

MD1 :Tadjikistan - Kipto-Mare W 3-2
MD2 :Tadjikistan - Audioslavia L 0-2
MD3 :Tadjikistan - Vollmeria W 6-0
MD4 :Avenging Altos - Tadjikistan L 1-0
MD5 :Tadjikistan - Druida W 4-2
MD6 :Tadjikistan - Cockbill street W 3-1
MD7 :Tadjikistan - Oaker
MD8 :Kipto-Mare - Tadjikistan
MD9 :Audioslavia - Tadjikistan
MD10: Vollmeria - Tadjikistan
MD11: Tadjikistan - Avenging Altos
MD12: Druida - Tadjikistan
MD13: Cockbill Street - Tadjikistan
MD14: Oaker - Tadjikistan

Iansisle

29-10-2004, 17:30

Sportsblurb!
Let’s go for slani!

The Ians continued their dominance over group one, beating third-place Jerusalem by a goal and keeping ahead of surprising Crystilakere, who beat theoretical powerhouse Spaam.

Goalkeeper Goodman fell a smidgen from his absurd high but was still solid. The Ians offensive troubles continued as they managed to score only two in their narrowest margin of victory yet.

Starblaydia

29-10-2004, 18:34

*loading NSWC Manager*

Next Match: Aquiliana Vs Starblaydia, Altissima National, Altissima

Team Selection:
GK Da Silva, R
DR Salisbury, C
DL Tsarev, V
DMC Carter, K-J
DC Martin, S
DC Durand, J-P
MR Stark, J
ML Tirado, J
MC Naoki, T (capt)
SC Di Bradini, S
SC Robertson, K
SB1 Thornley, G
SB2 Piper, T
SB3 Di Bradini, R
SB4 Tissot, M
SB5 Berisha, G
SB6 Moore, B
SB7 Jakkinho

*Proceed to Match*

Aquiliana Kick Off. Martin wins the header. Naoki with a 20 yard pass to Di Bradini. He's beaten the offside trap. He's scored! His 20th international Goal! A dream start for Starblaydia!

Some minutes later...

Jakkinho's beaten the offside trap. Jakkinho tries to lob it over the goalie. Goal! Final Whistle.

*Continue*

Tiberius Starblayde News
Starblaydia's fans are in dreamland after a 6-0 Demolition of Aquiliana in the Qualifiers for the 18th World Cup.

The fans will be pleased that Starblaydia converted their dominance and chances into goals.

*Save Game*

*Quit*

*Start > Shut Down*

"Slani Real Life"

Sarzonia

29-10-2004, 18:34

Stars looking to buck trend

The Sarzonian national team has done a lot of things since its inception. It took the then-fifth ranked team in the world into extra time in a battle for the right to advance to the World Cup finals. It earned a 2-2 draw against a Rejistanian team that considers one goal to be a dismal defensive performance. It set a national record for most goals in a match in a 5-0 flattening of Giant Zucchini.

But one thing the team has never done in its history is defeat 30th ranked Lovisa.

"They've been a little bit of a monkey on our backs," Coach Dave Wilson said. "We earned a draw against them the first time (in World Cup 16) but we haven't scored on them since that match. We've always seen them as being some unscalable mountain."

The Stars will have to rethink their approach to Lovisa now that the latest rankings are out and the team is struggling to earn a spot in the World Cup finals in Group 8. The Stars were ranked 35th in the world in the most recent list and are currently in fifth place in the group.

"We've got to get out there and establish our game," forward and team captain Brian Wilson said. "We can't get out there and worry about playing away to a team we haven't beaten before or we'll be defeated before stepping onto the pitch."

The team's new emphasis on a possession brand of football including short passing and an attacking style paid off in the match against the Orange-Blues. The Stars led 2-1 heading into second half injury time and dominated possession, holding the ball for 59 minutes, including 38 in the attacking third of the pitch. However, the Stars defense was vulnerable to counters by the Orange-Blues.

"We need to make sure we're playing sound fundamental football on the back line," assistant coach Barry Owens said. "Troy needs to make sure he's playing at the top of his form. If we can do that and make sure that we're doing what we did against Rejistania, we should be better off."

The team said it was looking forward to playing the second half, particularly against the bottom teams against which it only earned one point in two matches.

"Hopefully, our lads will go into those matches with revenge on their minds," Dave Wilson said. "We've already been snakebit twice by those teams. We can't let that happen again."

Svecia

29-10-2004, 19:07

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

DE VLIEGENDE VLIEGER
Former starter comes on as subsitute to give Svecia win

Wella 0 Svecia 1

- Rightly named, Druijf de Vlieger soared over his opponents to score the lone goal in what was a snoozer of a match in the heat of Wella.

The dry, windless day in the upper 30s C was not the best weather Svecia could have hoped for. Their much more temperate climate makes playing in the desert difficult at best, but the Dutch, Scandinavian, German, and Portuguese players shrugged off their uncomfortableness and held out for a win over familiar Wella.

Joël Simão got the ball rolling in the 3rd minute as he mowed through the defense with some neat little moves, but the ultimate shot was blocked on route to goal.

Then it was the defender Oskar Falköping who, picking up the ball just outside the penalty area, took a wild shot that nearly missed the crossbar.

Wella countered once in the first half, but overall it was a midfield battle. Svecia ended the half with 5 total shots to Wella´s 2.

The second half didn´t fare any better. Svecia managed only 3 more shots that half and Wella got 4 off.

But just two minutes after substitute Druijf de Vlieger, normally a starter, came onto the pitch in the 76th minute, he made his mark with a through ball to Hanan Belagt who crossed the ball perfectly into the area for the high flying de Vlieger. The ball nestled safely into the back of the net and no one was able to do much after that in terms of attacks.

Wella might not be a world class team, but Svecia showed that they are still moving up by overcoming the adverse conditions to finish the game.

Maserrat

29-10-2004, 19:46

Reprieval In The Neck Of Time Saves Karpova
In a sensational public speech in Maserrat, Slobodan Gresko expressed his disbelief at the Maserratian FA for attempting to sack Poskit Karpova, and has completely ruined their plans by giving his vote of confidence to the under-fire manager. The endorsement from Maserrat's national leader is enough to secure Karpova's future as coach until the end of the qualifiers. This news comes just before Maserrat's big match against Vilita this evening, and has lifted the mood in the camp fivefold, as captian Borle Xantoi explains:

"It has really hepled our mood now that we have some assurance that Mr Karpova will remain as coach. It's not his fault that we're playing so poorly - it's ours, and he should not be punished for our mistakes. Hopefully this news can help us to get something from this massive game."

Karpova has pinpointed this game as one where the result is not perhaps so important as national relations between the two participants:

"To say that the relation between our nations has been less than civil is an understatement. Ever since the ill-fated NIL tournament, it's been an uphill struggle for us. I would say that our relationship has improved - at least we're talking to each other now. Maybe after these two games we can arrange a charity friendly or something."

Nevertheless, Maserrat are expecting a thumping tonight. There are odds of 3-1 on Maserrat losing by 3 goals or more - and that's rare for a nation of optimists! Will we see something amazing happen tonight? Probably not, but there's always hope...

Bedistan

29-10-2004, 22:08

Matchday 7 scores have been posted. (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7357926&posted=1#post7357926)

Rejistania

29-10-2004, 22:32

Orange-Blues give up first points

The Orange-Blues could only secure a draw in the dying minutes of the match to secure at least one point in a must-win match. Coach Syku Lyku called the match: "A sign of lacking mentallity, of lacking spirit. A match which will have consequences." Despite the 2:2 in Nicksia kali, the Orange-Blues still top the group and are likely to qualify.

The Orange-Blues had something like a characteristic bad start into that match but did not find into the match later. A horrible mistake in the defense caused the 0:1 in the 24th minute. Mija Kansu and SyLy Kansu had problems with the marking and the chance was brutally capitalized. the Orange-blues were shocked. four minutes before the end of the first half, Ji Y equalized the score again: The referee awarded a free-kick to the Orange-Blues after a foul of Coyle'he against "Sa". Normally "Sasi" would be the person to take free kicks and that was why no one noticed the Matixi forward. When however not Sasijilvenku Dikelesinivetisaru but Ji Y shot, the sarzonians were too surprised to react accordingly. The first half ended levelled.

The second half started with a tactical substitution of Y Syku, who was replaced by SyMji, making the tactic a System Hangila. The weakened midfield however caused the 1:2. Cooper'he reminded of being in the zone when he won the running duel against Kadu Hsen and shot the ball unreachable for Ninu Juru. Coach Syku Lyku nearly went insane on the sideline. TV-R had to bleep out certain things, he said to the team. His tactics might not have been polite but at least effective: the Orange-Blues attacked fiercely and for a while it reminded of the Hetaki Tekne (world-class attack) of Hetlasane Hetkali from 20 years ago. This fierce attacks were unfortunately without success until the 90+1th minute. Salakerijasamenatira "Sa" Harakemindanutikejil was the second rejistani to appear on the scoreboard (even though the Sazonians had to abbreviate his name to "Sa"), in an unexpected counter-attack, he managed to feint Perkins'heand score the second equalizer.

After the match, there was an unfortunate incident when "Sa" was asked questions by a sarzoni reporter and apparently both managed to misunderstand the question and to get his answer wrong. Since schools in the rural regions of the seleke haditera are not known for great quality, the Sijitalatirikimidateme forward speaks next to no english.

The result:
Sarzonia 2 (Wilson 24th, Cooper 68th)
Rejistania 2 (Ji Y 41st, Harakemindanutikejil 90+1th)

The Eagles Nest

29-10-2004, 23:06

TEN breaks Silence after 6-2 Win over Qia

TEN Third At Midway Point.

After a spectacular display of sheer finesse by Siggy Secour who attained his third international hat trick, and goals by Horace and Weber Strong (2 in the secnd half), the Nest did an interview after maintaining silence after the controversial loss to Snub Nose 38.

Coach, your team came out of the box quickly today. What changed?

Coach Aefnen: I think we are tired of things playing too close to have them be possibly out of control. The RP machine is a crutch. Darn legalese about Hooligans cheerleaders being able to sub at will. The normal number is bad enough, but 47 MORE? Things like that we can't control. it's time we play to our ability and we decided that.

Coach, Secour came out quickly scoring 3 in the first half. Why did you sub him out?

Aefnen: Well, I didn't want to have the team just play to him. You saw what happened when they have multiple options to go to. Secour can't be the only scorer, or else he will be marked with 2,3 defenders. We have to show that others beside Secour can score.

What do you think about the legislation banning both the Hooligan cheerleaders and this ..Margaret from entering the Eagle's N-

Aefnen: I don't care really. We should have taken care of business and we didn't. However, it will mean less debree on the ground being thrown at them.

Sir, the KP technology, do you worry about a return usage at Kaze Progressa?

Aefnen:*sigh* what part of "we need to take care of business on our own on the pitch" do you not understand? if we win 6 of the next 7 games, we're in...no problems. 5 might do it honestly if we beat SN38 and one team ahead of us right now.

Horace seems to be getting a bit slow..is he alright?

Aefnen: yeah, just a bit of a sprained hoof. He should be ok by Krytenia. I will probably set him out versus Ashibot.
If you all would excuse me, I have a plane to catch.

Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Kaze Progressa 7 5 1 1 16 7 9 16 37
2 Krytenia 7 5 1 1 13 7 6 16 37
3 The Eagles Nest 7 5 0 2 20 11 9 15 36
4 Snub Nose 38 7 4 2 1 13 7 6 14 35
5 Spurland 7 1 3 3 8 11 -3 6 27
6 Fmjphoenix 7 1 3 3 9 14 -5 6 27
7 Qia 7 1 1 5 10 18 -8 4 25
8 Ashibot 7 0 1 6 2 16 -14 1 22

The Eagle's Nest Strike Bird Qualification Run
Matchday 1: The Eagle's Nest vs. Ashibot Win 3-0
Matchday 2: The Eagle's Nest @ Krytenia Win 3-1
Matchday 3: The Eagle's Nest vs. Spurland Win 3-1
Matchday 4: The Eagle's Nest @ Fmjphoenix Win 2-1
Matchday 5: The Eagle's Nest vs. Kaze Progressa Loss 1-2
Matchday 6: The Eagle's Nest @ Snub Nose 38 Loss 2-4
Matchday 7: The Eagle's Nest vs. Qia Win 6-2
-----------------------------------------------------
Matchday 8: The Eagle's Nest @ Ashibot
Matchday 9: The Eagle's Nest vs. Krytenia
Matchday 10: The Eagle's Nest @ Spurland
Matchday 11: The Eagle's Nest vs. Fmjphoenix
Matchday 12: The Eagle's Nest @ Kaze Progressa
Matchday 13: The Eagle's Nest vs. Snub Nose 38
Matchday 14: The Eagle's Nest @ Qia

Group 4 Predictions

Our crack predictors predict the following results for Group 4 after all is said and done:

Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 The Eagles Nest 14 10 0 4 39 24 15 30 30
2 Snub Nose 38 14 9 2 3 27 17 10 29 29
3 Kaze Progressa 14 9 1 4 28 14 14 28 28
4 Krytenia 14 8 1 5 24 20 4 25 25
5 Spurland 14 7 3 4 18 15 3 24 24
6 Fmjphoenix 14 5 3 6 20 25 -5 18 18
7 Qia 14 1 2 11 18 37 -19 5 5
8 Ashibot 14 0 2 12 9 31 -22 2 2

They have us losing at KP and Spurland, but winning enough to nip SN38 by a point for the group lead. Time will tell.

The Eagles Nest

29-10-2004, 23:11

Vorpal Bunnies One Point out of Third?!?

Martial Law Imposed After 2nd Straight Night of Celebratory Rioting

The Island of Vorpal Bunnies is currently under martial law as the Bunnies have won their second straight match, over Eskrador and Castillanos.

With the win, the Bunnies are an imporbably 1 point out of third place. Doubting it will happen, but the Bunnies faithful have 3 more wins than last campaign, and well, who knows.

Martial Law will remain in place and a strict curfew of 8 pm will be adhered to. Night Games in Vorpal Bunnies have been moved to 11 am.

((Stupid forum won't log me out tonight to get to VB. Sorry about posting as TEN))

Fmjphoenix

29-10-2004, 23:22

Fmjphoenix gets first win, looks to make it a trend.
By Allen Newhouse

Ashibot: The majority of fans in Ashibot Stadium were flown in from The Kingdom of Fmjphoenix to support their young team into winning. Also with the team was two coaches who came in and are now a part of the Fmjphoenix Viking's coaching staff, Brian Pulmore and Gary Accrew helped Coach Wash and crew earn their first win in the qualifying round, 2-0 over Ashibot.

The first half was very plain with only 4 shots took by both teams before stoppage. The Vikings went into the lockers looking worn out and it seemed like it they might be heading to another deadlock or even worse, loss. Whatever was said in the locker room by Wash and his staff spurred the Vikings into dominence, and at the perfect time. Fmjphoenix came out for the second half and utterly terrorized Ashibot. The Vikings took only 7 shots in the second half, but Ashibot did not manage a single shot for the final 30 minutes of the match. Jorge Mendel and Mike Nolan continued to be the heart of the scoring threat for Fmjphoenix, both scoring at the fifty-second and eighty-fourth minute respectivly. Powell Lamar was perfect in replacement for Adam Larouse, not allowing a goal.

"This is how we need to play all the time." Coach Wash told reporters after the game. "Now we have to do this again tommorow. We need to keep the momentum going."

The next game is one of revenge for Fmjphoenix. They want to erase the embarassing loss they suffered to Kaze Progressa in the opening match. Tommorow will be their best chance. They are coming into the game with momentum on their side and confidence that they can win.

"This is a good core of players that Fmjphoenix has" Gary Accrew said after the match, "They can and will be winners. Its up to us to direct these boys into a championshop form. They all have talent and can do it. Look for more competition for the final seven matches."

Goals:
Jorge Mendel - 52'
Mike Nolan - 84'

Final Score:
Fmjphoenix [2] - Ashibot [0]

Referees:
Michël Fiché
Richard Griffin

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Kaze Progressa 7 5 1 1 16 7 9 16
2 Krytenia 7 5 1 1 13 7 6 16
3 The Eagles Nest 7 5 0 2 20 11 9 15
4 Snub Nose 38 7 4 2 1 13 7 6 14
5 Spurland 7 1 3 3 8 11 -3 6
6 Fmjphoenix 7 1 3 3 9 14 -5 6
7 Qia 7 1 1 5 10 18 -8 4
8 Ashibot 7 0 1 6 2 16 -14 1

Squornshelous

30-10-2004, 00:07

Pschychoes shaky, but able to pull off a win

Squornshelous was able to pull back together after two consecutive 2-1 losses for a 3-2 defeat of Oddslavo. This solidified our position in second place in Group 7, 4 points behind Svecia.

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Raskolnikov: 8
Puente: 5
Castillan: 4
Arnesson: 2

Up Next:
Squornshelous enters the second half of qualifying in good position but very shaky, having allowed more goals in the last three games than in the first four. We predict that they will come out swinging and put Finrods out of the game early.
Predicted Score: Squornshelous 4-1 Finrods

Squornshelous' Qualifying Schedule:
wins losses draws

MD01: Squornshelous 5-1 Finrods
MD02: Sarcodina 1-2 Squornshelous
MD03: Squornshelous 3-0 Wella
MD04: Artoonia 1-4 Squornshelous
MD05: Svecia 2-1 Squornshelous
MD06: Dennisov 2-1 Squornshelous
MD07: Squornshelous 3-2 Oddslavo
--------------------------------------------------------
MD08: Finrods v Squornshelous
MD09: Squornshelous v Sarcodina
MD10: Wella v Squornshelous
MD11: Squornshelous v Artoonia
MD12: Squornshelous v Svecia
MD13: Squornshelous v Dennisov
MD14: Oddslavo v Squornshelous

Group 7 standings after Matchday 7:

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Svecia 7 6 1 0 17 4 13 19
2 Squornshelous 7 5 0 2 19 9 10 15
3 Dennisov 7 2 2 3 8 11 -3 8
4 Sarcodina 7 2 2 3 6 9 -3 8
5 Artoonia 7 2 2 3 9 15 -6 8
6 Oddslavo 7 2 1 4 9 11 -2 7
7 Wella 7 2 1 4 9 14 -5 7
8 Finrods 7 1 3 3 9 13 -4 6

Legalese

30-10-2004, 02:37

Legalese brings home Win #2
Trip to Spalatium ends with 2-1 Victory

Legalese City, Legalese

The Legalese MNT arrived in Holmes National Airport today, celebrating a 2-1 victory in Spalatium. The win brings Legalese to 2-5 after the first half of qualifying for the World Cup, good for 7th place. They trail Northbank and Sarzonia in the standings by 2 points each.

An unlikely hero emerged for Legalese in Spalatium. Dave Zigand, who came off the bench in the 65th minute, scored both of Legalese’s tallies, the last on a curving set piece around the astonished Spalatian Keeper in the 75th minute.

Legalese netminder Tommy Walters suffered from far too many serious challenges early in the match; by the half, he had amassed 15 saves on 20 shots. A stronger effort at possession up front resulted in only 3 shots being taken on Walters in the second half, which were all saved.

With the first half of Legalese’s first campaign to qualify for the World Cup completed, the Black and Red can look forward to a return bout with Rejistania, who handed the Legalites a 5-0 loss in a bizarre match, involving the most lawyers amassing in one location in Rejistanian history. It shall be interesting to see if the Legal Eagles can be kept in check by the LAFC, which had reportedly been in talks with Legal Eagles President, Robert J. Ratchuper, aka. “Robbie Rapture”, regarding the ban on Legalese JDs from traveling abroad to fellow group nations. While it will not effect the Eagles from showing up to Legalese National for Matchday 8, it may alter the way things are handled in Francis Town.

Sarzonia

30-10-2004, 03:20

Stars 'struck' by Lovisa again, 3-1

The Sarzonian national team went into the match against third seeded and 30th ranked Lovisa expecting to slay giants. The team came in fresh from an uplifting 2-2 draw against the world's top ranked side and was convinced they could put the memories of an ugly loss and two disappointing draws behind them.

However, Lovisa were buoyed by their small but surprisingly enthusiastic home crowd and dealt the Stars a 3-1 loss that left Coach Dave Wilson shaking his head.

"We made too many mistakes tonight," Wilson said. "We played like a team that was playing its first-ever international match instead of a team that just missed out on World Cup qualifying two straight years.

"I'm very disappointed in this team. I'm very much disappointed that this team would come in playing as mistake-prone a football game as they did against a team they should have been able to get a result against. We're definitely going to be practicing a lot more intensely starting tomorrow."

The Stars were also planning a change at goalkeeper. Rookie Mark Tanner, who started the second half after goalkeeper Troy Perkins allowed all three goals in just 28 minutes of play, was tapped to start the road leg against Northbank. Unlike most coaches who might have opted for a diplomatic approach, Wilson was blunt about his reason for the change.

"Troy played like [dirt]. I'm sending a message to him and the rest of the team that no one is safe." Defender Mike Coyle also would be taken out in favor of reserve midfielder George Mitcham as the team will shift to a 3-5-2.

"We've graded out the players after each of the games and, even when Coyle was healthy, he graded worst of all the defensive players we had out there," Wilson said. "We may put Mike or Troy back in there later in the Cup, or even in the next match, but I want to be sure they get the message loud and clear that I'm not pleased with their effort or the team's as a whole."

Forward Barry Alphonso scored the lone goal on a cross from midfielder Darwin Russell in the 79th minute, but by then, the match was no longer in doubt. The team travels to fifth seeded Northbank in fifth place and four points behind the third qualifying spot in the World Cup.

"The time for fooling around is done," Wilson said. "We've got to play football now or we're not playing where we want to be playing."

Liverpool England

30-10-2004, 07:07

FALE Coaches Work 'Miracle'
The Fmjpheonix has received congratulations from the Football Association of Liverpool England on their first win. After working for two weeks with coaches Pulmore and Accrew, they managed a 2-0 win over Ashibot. They next play Kaze Progressa with beat wishes from the FALE.

Seven-Oh-Oh - That's Our Current Record
Liverpool England beat Nova Brittanicus 5-1 at home to remain the only team with a 100% record at the half-way stage of qualifying. Tim Dennard, Chris Hawkins, Dominic Dirosa and Kelvin Johnson (2 goals) scored for the team, who now face Sonova whom they thrashed 5-0 on MD1.

Maserrat

30-10-2004, 10:43

Shock Point In Vilita

A full sixty places separate Vilita and Maserrat in the rankings, yet last night it looked like a first against second match, as both teams played out of their socks (apparently someone had stolen them as a practical joke) in a surprisingly less than-harsh-atmosphere in Vilita. Things seemed to be going according to plan when Vilita struck on 24 minutes to take an expected lead. Everybody was bracing themselves for a thrashing, yet at halftime it was still 1-0, despite a long spell of Vilitan pressure.

Coach Poskit Karpova, his job saved only minutes before by an endorsement from Slobodan Gresko, looked surprisingly calm, as if he had a little surprise up his sleeve for the second half. However, little seemed to have changed in the second period, as Vilita continued to haunt the Maserrat goal. Then, on 76 minutes, Karpova produced a whistle from nowhere and blew sharply on it. Immediately the team changed formation and went on a searing counter attack, leaving the Vilitans completely stranded. With five players rushing the keeper, it was little surprise that he didn't make a move as Qostaze Ubuloy calmly slotted it past the keeper. A stunned silence filled the stadium before a mountain of noise erupted from behind the Vilita goal as Maserratians realised what had just happened - an equaliser, in Vilita, with ten minutes left. The last ten minutes saw the Maserrat players practically standing on the goal line as Vilita missed chance after chance to retake the lead. When the whistle finally went, an air of sheer disbelief filled the stadium - Maserrat had won an away point at Vilita. Karpova had this to say:

"I knew this was a game we could get something from if we tried hard enough. Our surprise tactic caught them off guard, and we capitalised from it. This was one of the best games I have ever witnessed from my team, and now the only thing to do is to repeat it in a week's time."

Of course, we all know that an away point means a total hiding in the home leg, but who cares - we'll savour the moment for now, and look forward to the home match against One Red Dot tonight.

Dance 2 Revolution

30-10-2004, 11:03

'This always happens' says Freeze

D2R hit their rocky road of the qualifying

After Match Day 4, you'd think D2R would be running smoothly, you'd be having a laugh! A home record(Most goals scored in one match by D2R) being broken twice in 3 games would maybe spare the usual qualifying rocky road, with most of them threatening D2Rs possibilty to qualifying. The worst of these was in World Cup 13 when D2R managed to get 5 points from 5 games with these results:

Day 6: Vilita 0 – 0 Dance 2 Revolution
Day 7: Dance 2 Revolution 0 – 0 The Belmore Family
Day 8: Dance 2 Revolution 0 - 0 Lovisa
Day 9: Compound Interest 0 – 0 Dance 2 Revolution
Day 10: Aserjin 0 – 0 Dance 2 Revolution

These results cost D2R qualification as D2R fell 2 points from qualifying. And after getting 12/12 points from the first 4 games, then proceeded to get 2 out of the next 9 points, dropping them into 3rd place, behind Lemmitania and Total n Utter Insanity, and yet again the experts have jumped in and have told the D2R fans that they should be looking forward to the Cup of Harmony. But as we know, the experts are always right...except from last cup, when the pretty much got it all wrong, but you never know. They might be right. By the way, the game against Magnus Valerius ended 2-2.

Results:
Day 1: Dance 2 Revolution 3 - 1 Myrulesia
Day 2: Tippman 1 – 5 Dance 2 Revolution
Day 3: Dance 2 Revolution 3 – 0 The Weegies
Day 4: Big Pimento 2 – 6 Dance 2 Revolution
Day 5: Total n Utter Insanity 4 – 1 Dance 2 Revolution
Day 6: Lemmitania 0 – 0 Dance 2 Revolution
Day 7: Dance 2 Revolution 2 – 2 Magnus Valerius

Predictions
Day 8: Myrulesia 2 - 3 Dance 2 Revolution
Day 9: Dance 2 Revolution 5 - 1 Tippman
Day 10: The Weegies 1 – 1 Dance 2 Revolution
Day 11: Dance 2 Revolution 1 – 0 Big Pimento
Day 12: Dance 2 Revolution 2 – 3 Total n Utter Insanity
Day 13: Dance 2 Revolution 1 - 0 Lemmitania
Day 14: Magnus Valerius 1 - 3 Dance 2 Revolution

Next Matchday: The return match against Myrulesia, away. Dance 2 Revolution edged Myrulesia 3-1 last time these sides met as D2R conceded an early goal. D2R should be on their guard for the quick shots, but D2R are expected to win with reasonable easyness.

Fmjphoenix

30-10-2004, 11:39

Fmjphoenix arrives early to practice in Kaze Progressa

Kaze Progressa: The Fmjphoenix Vikings arrived in Kaze Progressa early in order to pracice on the field new to them. This team looks a lot less nervous and seem poised to extract revenge for the opening match which Kaze Progressa handed them a 5-1 loss.

"This time, we are more prepared. After facing all the other nations in the group, we have a better feeling and understanding of how they play, and we will be ready for them this time." Coach Wash said to reporters. "Look for this one to be a close game"

Early in the morning a few of the planes from Fmjphoenix arrived and fans could already be seen lining the gates of the stadium. It appears that their fans were ready to back them all the way.

Here is the line-up that Coach Wash and his staff gave for tommorows game.

4-3-3
Powell Lamar

Bobby Bash Michael Bo Wei Zeng

Carlos Santos Devin McBall Quinten Bell

Mike Nolan Jorge Mendel Alex Rivera Estaban Zues

Jeruselem

30-10-2004, 11:57

Jeruselem Government News

No panic says Jeruselem coach

Today Jeruselem says there is no panic after that lost 3-1 to Crystilakere. After losing 2-1 to Iansisle, Jeruselem lost two games in row but Spaam also lost their two games to the top two as well. Spaam managed a NIL ALL draw with Slaikau so, the top 4 are unchanged in Group 1.

Crazy Dave said "It's obvious who will make up the top 2 but the third spot will be fought between three teams. Spaam and Jeruselem have lost both games to the top 2, but from now on it will be critical in the next four games for them to win the most games possible."

The Jeruselem coach David Becks says "Look, those top 2 are the favourites and we are still 3rd. Given the form of Spaam, we are happy to be 3rd while they need to pick up their form as well I guess"

Group 1
Iansisle 2-0 Smoking Pits
Spaam 0-0 Slaikau
Crystilakere 3-1 Jeruselem
Wapahkoneta 1-1 New Dubai

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Iansisle 6 5 1 0 21 5 16 16
2 Crystilakere 6 4 1 1 15 9 6 13
3 Jeruselem 6 2 2 2 8 9 -1 8
4 Smoking Pits 6 1 4 1 6 8 -2 7
5 Wapahkoneta 6 2 1 3 6 9 -3 7
6 Slaikau 6 1 3 2 10 11 -1 6
7 Spaam 6 1 2 3 6 11 -5 5
8 New Dubai 6 0 2 4 9 19 -10 2

Audioslavia

30-10-2004, 15:24

[size=3]Quinto Mare
Slaves Thrash KM 5-0

On a rainy afternoon in Soundgardia, Audioslavia battered an underperforming Kipto Mare side.

With two goals from McLlroy and one each for Tessem, O`Rourke and Black, the 'slaves look strong going into the second half of qualification.

TABLES AT THE HALF-WAY POINT
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Audioslavia 7 6 0 1 20 3 17 18
2 Oaker 7 4 1 2 11 6 5 13
3 Druida 7 4 1 2 12 10 2 13
4 Tadjikistan 7 4 0 3 17 10 7 12
5 Cockbill Street 7 2 3 2 9 8 1 9
6 Avenging Altos 7 2 1 4 6 12 -6 7
7 Kipto-Mare 7 2 0 5 6 19 -13 6
8 Vollmeria 7 0 2 5 3 16 -13 2

The group looks a little shaken up from the one most people would have expected to see (CS top or second, the 'slaves and Tadjikistan around second and third, Druida, Oaker and Avenging Altos nipping at their heels). The 'slaves lead by five points from surprise package Oaker. A 4-1-2 record would usually be good enough for third or fourth, but thanks to some big upsets and the larger teams messing up now and again, Oaker are in second. With them in Druida, three points worse off on goal difference but having beaten the two sides above them, Druida started brilliantly but their formed has tailed off somewhat, getting only one win from the last three games. Tadjikistan have won the same amount of games but shocking defeats away to AA and at home to Oaker - a match they really should have won - as well as the 2-0 loss to Audioslavia mean they stay stuck in fourth, albiet with better goal difference than the two above them and just a point off of second place. Cockbill Street are the real surprise story, getting just nine points from seven games the 'Streetians have had a torrid time of it, failing to win in their first three games, succumbing to heavy defeats to Audioslavia and Tadjikistan. Their well-earned 2-0 win over Avenging Altos puts them four points out of the qualification places, they'll need to step it up to get right back where they should be.

At the bottom of the table, Avenging Altos and Kipto Mare are capable of playing good football, but on any given off-day they are also capable of getting wellied. A miracle would see either of these teams qualify, but three straight-wins would give them a definite chance.

At the bottom, as expected, is Vollmeria. No wins, two draws and five defeats, Vollmeria were never going to be capable of getting into the top three, but don't count on them to stay winless for too long.

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake. G'nite bitches.

Somalialand

30-10-2004, 18:30

Vilita Dumbed, Somalialand Gets Firts win
By Christian amanpour
SPS TV

[producer]: Khallid-bin-rahman
[Cameraman]; Jim luram

Somalialand superisngly Got its firts win, It Shocked the world when Sumaye Scored his First goal ever in international Play.
Two days ago somalialand tied meserrat, A young artrogant team, its not they are arrogant is that they show off to other players, "How can a team expect a lose" Said the coach in furious manner, I mean they Expected a lose to vilita right before the match, they are not optimistic, and o tell you the truth, "we could still win the third place with a win against the two compatitors who are lykiai and The One red dot, but we are not expecting a third place finish due to the fact that the one red dot is getting little bit more flexblie, but we are not ruling out 3rd place finish" Said the LUURE, one of the best place finisher in this world cup, he may not be the best player in the world but he is one of the best players in the world.

Other surprising thing that happed this week is the surprising Abondonment of the lykaia football world, Their goverment dumped and made them unprepared but they are still strong, but dont expect them to win anymore games.

Somalialand is the still in the game for fourth place finish and with LUURE in moqidishu and Gali in defense, Somalialand is not team to be ignored any more, we could still jump up in the world cup rankings due to our BoF compatation(OCC: also our RPing) and our great world cup Qualifier.

Somalialand should not be Ignored because it could go to the next world cup and decimate its comapititors if we came into a dump and arrogant group which we like.

We have just dropped in a hard and comapatative group and we are still hanging for the forth place finish said one fan who has lost his super fannes due to the hard losses we had this week and last week days.

Yesterday was the last day of the first halfs matchday and the second half of the matchdays will begin today and it will continue for the next 7 days.

[looking at the camera]
Christiaan amanpour
SBS TV
reprting here from kasarani Stadium

Bedistan

30-10-2004, 21:01

Matchday 8 scores have been posted. (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7364011#post7364011)

OOC: By the way, if there are any errors in the positioning of the teams in the post-MD8 tables, that's my fault. There was a bug in the scorinator that caused the tables to be sorted properly at some times, but not others. I've fixed that now, and it shouldn't happen again.

Aquiliana

30-10-2004, 21:33

Nova Britannicus Gets Their Payback
Aquiliana's win streak reaches 4

After Friday night's 3-0 defeat of the Halfassedstates in what was then believed to be their last match of the Cup, the Falcons got another 3-0 win on Saturday, this time against Nova Britannicus, who were able to force a 2-2 draw in the first match.

"We were more prepared mentally, as well as physically," said Ronal Cuniculus, who scored 2 goals. "Everything just clicked for us, and we were able to play our own game. We didn't let them have control of the ball, and we just controlled the entire game."

Coach Ed was also pleased: "I think that right now, we're playing the best football we ever have, even counting when we defeated Audioslavia in the Finals 4 years ago. Hopefully, we can keep this going, and play our best game tomorrow."

The Falcons, who have won their past 4 games, are next up against 8-0-0 Liverpool England, who won the first match between these teams, 2-1.

"Obviously, it's going to be a very tough game," said Cuniculus. "We're going to need to bring everything we've got, and I think that we're a much better team now than we were at the start of the Cup."

Final Score:
Aquiliana 3 (Cuniculus 13, 45, Consario 66)
Nova Britannicus 0

The Gameday Report

Tomorrow's match should be exciting, as the top 2 teams in Group 10 face off for the second time. After a 2-1 loss the first game, the Falcons are looking to get revenge, and closer to the top spot. Liverpool England remains the only team to have won all 8 of their games, but Aquiliana is looking to break that streak and add to their own. Look for aggressive wing play by the outside midfielders and a very physical game.

Predictions:

Drew - Aquiliana 3-1
Mitch - Liverpool England 2-0
Curt - Aquiliana 1-0

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Liverpool England 8 8 0 0 25 7 18 24
2 Aquiliana 8 5 2 1 20 7 13 17
3 Starblaydia 8 4 1 3 10 8 2 13
4 Halfassedstates 8 3 1 4 12 14 -2 10
5 The Evil Umpire 8 2 2 4 9 12 -3 8
6 Nova Britannicus 8 2 2 4 12 18 -6 8
7 The Latin Union 8 1 3 4 8 13 -5 6
8 Sonova 8 1 1 6 7 24 -17 4

MATCH SCHEDULE

MD1: Aquiliana 2-2 Nova Brittanicus (Cärnirässe National, AC Igneas)
MD2: Aquiliana 1-2 Liverpool England (Belua Memorial Field, Nidola FC)
MD3: Aquiliana 5-0 Sonova (Doma Artola, Farca City)
MD4: The Evil Umpire 1-1 Aquiliana
MD5: Aquiliana 2-1 The Latin Union (Vivarium Sciunti, Sciuntus FC)
MD6: Aquiliana 3-1 Starblaydia (Altissima National, Altissima)
MD7: Aquiliana 3-0 Halfassedstates (Inexpugna, Ubertas FC)
MD8: Nova Brittanicus 0-3 Aquiliana
MD9: Liverpool England vs. Aquiliana
MD10: Sonova vs. Aquiliana
MD11: Aquiliana vs. The Evil Umpire (Stadia Cuperta, Nova Malta FC)
MD12: The Latin Union vs. Aquiliana
MD13: Starblaydia vs. Aquiliana (Hallad City Stadium, Hallad Reavers)
MD14: Halfassedstates vs. Aquiliana

Fmjphoenix

30-10-2004, 21:39

Hard loss in competitive match with Kaze Progressa
By Allen Newhouse

Kaze Progressa: The score reads 2-0, but the game was a lot closer than the score says. Fmjphoenix was in the game the whole way, Kaze Progressa goalkeeper Fayu Fanzuhu was just better than Fmjphoenx goalkeeper Powell Lamar. Sani Luvo scored the first goal at the thirdy-first minute on a shot that Lamar could not get enough hand on to deflect. Rahujiz Rapikok got the last goal at the seventy-fourth minute to dampen hopes of a comeback against the first place team in the group.

Now the Vikings wll be able to finally return home after three games away to face Snub Nose 38. This is where the Vikings really have to get into gear and start winning. If they hope to still qualify, they need their offensive players to take more shots and score more. Look for the Vikings to be practicing hard in preperation for Snub Nose 38.

Goals:
Sani Luvo - 31'20
Rahujiz Rapikok - 74'

Final Score:
Fmjphoenix [2] - Kaze Progressa [0]

Referees:
Mark Grant
Ajaci Hiipoi

World Cup XVIII Qualifying Group 4:

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Kaze Progressa 8 6 1 1 18 7 11 19
2 Krytenia 8 6 1 1 16 9 7 19
3 The Eagles Nest 8 6 0 2 23 13 10 18
4 Snub Nose 38 8 5 2 1 15 8 7 17
5 Spurland 8 1 3 4 9 13 -4 6
6 Fmjphoenix 8 1 3 4 9 16 -7 6
7 Qia 8 1 1 6 12 21 -9 4
8 Ashibot 8 0 1 7 4 19 -15 1

Svecia

30-10-2004, 23:16

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

DONNER UND BLITZEN
Lightning score 11 goals in two matches

Svecia 5 Artoonia 0
Sarcodina 0 Svecia 6

- These are definitely not two of the greatest teams in the group, and Svecia showed why they are not by blitzing through defensive lines like they were secondary school teams.

The first match treated the home crowd to a magnificent display of attacking and the second one treated the Sarcondinians to a wonderful goal display as well.

Against Artoonia, Hanan Belagt ended the game as a contest as he scored two goals in less than three minutes to send the home crowd into stunned celebration after Hannes Ljungberg put Svecia up 1-0 in the 25th minute as he deflected a rebound from a shot by Mikael Solskjaer into the net.

Belagt´s amazing diving header in the 41st minute seemed to take the wind out of Artoonia´s sails, although they had been playing well up to that point. But he sizzling volley from close range less than three minutes later caused the stadium, and country, to erupt in noise.

Artoonia had had a couple of chances early in the game, but Piet van Meer was up to the challenge as he neatly shrugged off all the dangerous situations.

The second half opened with a header that whizzed inches past the fingers of a diving van Meer only to bang off the post on the Svecikan side of the pitch. Hannes Ljungberg lead the counter attack well but Solskjaer shanked his shot well wide of the mark.

Solskjaer redeemed himself in the 65 minute when he drew a penalty kick and placed it just over the Artoonia keeper, who guessed the direction correctly but couldn´t reach the well placed ball.

By the time Svecia was up 4-0 Artoonia seemed to have given up hope and possession time was heavily in favor of the Lightning:76% to Artoonia´s 24%.

Svecia gave their crowd a final present in the 87th minute as Oskar Falköping raced ahead to Belagts through ball to add the final goal.

If it seemed that the Svecikan offense had spent themselves with Artoonia, it was a false impression as the Lightning struck another team down the following day.

The next victim was Sarcodina playing at home. Svecia had beaten Sarcodina in the Rijksstadion to open the World Cup qualifying campaign with a 3-0 win. So this time either Sarcodina was twice as bad or Svecia twice as good as the Lightning ran all over their opponant with a 6-0 victory.

Unlike the game against Artoonia, Sarcodina was out of it within the first 15 minutes. An unassisted goal by Solskjaer in the 3rd minute, a free kick goal from Solskjaer in the 6th minute, and a header by Belagt in the 12th minute put Svecia in an almost unbeatable position. This was supplemented by Lars Svensson´s neat one-two with Belagt that resulted in a fourth goal in the 31st minute.

With a 4-0 lead by halftime, Sarcodina and its fans had no idea what had hit them. And the Lightning still weren´t done.

Druijf de Vlieger made it five with his volley in the 63rd minute and Tomas Kristiansand scored his first international goal in stoppage time to put an exclamation point on the match.

The 6-0 win is the record of the biggest goal differential in a game for the Landslag with the previous record being a 6-1 win over Northbank in the first game of the last World Cup´s qualifying group.

The Gulf States

30-10-2004, 23:21

Are we dreaming? 8 games in, just under 4th?

The Gulf States international football squad is doing well in the 18th World Cup. In the standings, we're only seperated from 4th place by the 2nd tiebreaker. A goal differential of zero for us, +2 for them.

Most of the few fans of international soccer in TGS are quite happy on the progress the team is making in the World Cup. It's a long shot that the team will advance on to the next round - or even finish this strongly. But the fact they're competiting better and playing stronger is a plus sign the sport will be improving in the country.

However, the country still turns the other cheek towards the sport and the team's accomplishments so far. Baseball is never going to fade in popularity, and TGS hockey just finished 3rd in Cherry Cup 6. Only a major dent into the World Cup will garner more attention to international football.

Midfielder Carlos Cedeno - "We've been practicing against better clubs lately. We're playing on the world stage more and more. We do friendly practices on the side with anyone willing. This slowly gets our team better, pick off their strategies and tactics. We all know we still got to play hard day in and day out, play 90 minutes of good football. We need to be a little more aggressive on the offense without sacrificing defense. Our goal scoring is a little low, which is why we're sitting in 5th. Don't get us wrong though, with previous showings in this tournament - we're happy we're sitting in 5th. We always feel we can be doing better. We promised everyone and we understand it'll take a while for us to become anything special in the world's football scene. Taking one game at a time, make ourselves look like overacheiving time and time again - that's what we need to do.

Rejistania

30-10-2004, 23:32

Go for five!

The Orange-Blues defeated Liechtenistan "at home" in the Hetlasane Hetkali Stadium. The Liechtenistan team was expected to be a difficult competitor since the team from the small nation in the mountains was on the third place in the group table, but against the Orange-Blues, the Liechtenistan team played like one of the teams from the lowest positions of the table and went down 5:1.

The Orange-Blues played a System Hangila in this match. Ji Y, "Sa" and SyMji were the three strikers. The Orange-Blues had a good start in this match. "Sa" brought The Team ahead in the 3rd minute. A misunderstanding in the liechtenistan defense jearned to be exploited. The Hetkalian scoreboard had not enough space for "Sa"'s complete name and so they used "Sa" but wrote it as number as it is common in rejistanian sport-reports. A graphical error made the sign for 7 look like a sign for one hundred. This was maybe the highest mathematical error in a football-match. Liechtenistan also played a semi-offensive formation so both sides had some chances, however the ones of Liechtenistan were not that convincing as the ones of the Orange-Blues. One of these chances was in the 19th minute, however, <defender> cleared to a corner kick. Duli~n Naneji's corner kick was headed into the goal by fellow nanti kansuan Viji Ahi~n. A counter-attack of Liechtenistan was successfull, Ninu Juru could reach, but not hold the ball after the hard shot of <forward>. The goal was counted as own-goal of Juru, who by this also found a place on the rejistanian goal-scorer statistics. It looked as if Liechtenistan would come back into the match, but the Orange-Blues outplayed them later. SyMji put his name on the scoreboard in the 39th minute after an assist of Viji Ahi~n.

In the second half, the Orange-Blues played a less offensive System Imdila. No substitution was needed for that change: Ji Y simply changed his position. In the 67th minute, Ji Y was eventually replaced by a real midfielder: Y Syku. The 4:1 was scored in the 61st minute by SyMji. "Sa" scored in the 76th minute in a counter-attack the second time. The young former U21 player has become an important player in the course of 7 games of the national team and scored in nearly each of them.

The next match will be against and in Legalese. The Orange-Blues are considered to be underdogs in that match since most of their fans (and the entire ASR) have like no clue about law. But maybe, this match will be held on the match and not in court.

The result:
Rejistania 5 (Harakemindanutikejil 3rd 76th, Ahi~n 20th, S. Lyku 39th 61st)
Liechtenistan 1 (Juru 25th(og))

Melmond

31-10-2004, 04:18

Makinshakes Presents...
The Ketchup Times
Now you can eat your fries and read the latest news around Melmond!

Fearless Farmers Bench Asserts Itself
Much like the group as a whole, the match against newcomers Allsio was seen as an easy sure win by everyone in the world. Even Manager David Bixler had to admit it. The admission was made implicitly as not only did he decide to keep in the backup defenders and goalkeeper in the starting lineup after their good play against Esth, he gave all the substitutes a chance to start in this match. Since their wasn't eleven substitutes completely, some usual starters still got the start such as defender Jonsi Torrini and midfielder Critandi Unne. The veteran starters lead the way in this match against Allsio as captain Jonsi Torrini anchored the defence and gave Melmond goalkeeper Fgtgt easy saves. The offence and goal scoring was lead by Critandi Unne, as s/he scored the two Melmond goals scored in the first half. However, Torrini made a big assist on the third goal of the match for the Fearless Farmers in the second half as his corner kick was put in the net by the head of Melmond striker Lave Serna. The combination of the solid effort by the Fearless Farmers and the fact that Allsio is somewhat of a football-impaired nation helped make the result 3-nil in favor of Melmond.

Raptor Loses Temper, Gives Game Away to Melmond
The starters returned for the match at Microcosm Football Collossuseum in Aldi as almost 98,000 fans packed this mega stadium to see their Fearless Farmers in action against frequent rival Raptor Claw. Melmond has a record of three wins and one loss against Raptor Claw and despite their recent struggles, they didn't take this side lightly. Unfortunately, the starters' talent seemed to be left at their club sides. Melmond just played tired and rather inept football against these Raptors, irate at the fact that they were struggling, made a tough charge at the net in which Raptor Claw Imat Arget headed in a cross past Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm putting Raptor Claw up 1-nil in the first half. However, as the first half was about to close, midfielder Jake Cormier kicks a desperation long ball which happens to hit Raptor Claw defender Makapla Yupdaline in the head and deflected past an unprepared Raptor Claw goalkeeper Gonnast Opyou. The first half ends with the match being a 1-1 tie. The play was anemic by both sides, but some real bloodshed happened when Raptor Claw defender Iwilltac Kleyou tripped over the feet of Melmond striker Tim Remans, got mad at Remans and clawed him in the face, leaving a gash on his face. Kleyou gets the red card and Remans gets stitches on the sidelines. Solid finisher, Melmond striker Jamie Prior, will go in for Remans and get to take the penalty in which he converts. Melmond escapes the match against the Raptors with a 2-1 victory.

Match Against NASTIC 2 Fantastic
Against such a bland opponent in NASTIC 2, most fans didn't expect an exciting match. However, that is what we got in the almost full NASTIC 2 NATIONAL STADIUM as NASTIC 2 can be a troublesome side for the Fearless Farmers. Things started out well for the Melmond National Team when Melmond striker Ojfssnsj Xrnym made a nice dribble move past a NASTIC 2 defender and beat the NASTIC 2 keep with a solid shot in the lower right corner. Melmond would carry that 1-nil lead well into the middle of the second half, where a stunning bicycle kick by NASTIC 2 striker Jim Nastic ties up the match one all. However, only minutes later, the Fearless Farmers will stick the pitchfork in the hearts of Team NASTIC 2 and their supporters as defender Charles Unne makes an improbable long distance kick which somehow speeds and arcs past the NASTIC 2 goalkeeper. Unne's amazing kick gives Melmond the 2-1 victory in a surprisingly exciting match.

Liverpool England

31-10-2004, 04:42

Sirx warns team to avoid complacency

Liverpool England thrashed Sonova away 4-1 to go 8-0-0 (4 points off qualification), but Chacorian manager Sirx has reminded the team and the coaching staff not to get complacent. The Philosophers face Aquiliana next (Previous meeting: 2-1) with the hope of securing another three points, after which Sirx has said he'd try out his young prospects.

"Fmjpheonix Team Did Well": FALE

The FALE and its coaches with the Fmjpheonix team have praised the team for putting up a good battle against Kaze Progressa, despite the loss. The FALE are also understood to have offered to open coaching schools of excellence in Fmjpheonix, which may benefit the nation in the long run.

Jeruselem

31-10-2004, 09:26

Jeruselem Government News

Slaikau make their move as Jeruselem and Spaam fall from grace

Slaikau shocked Jeruselem to win 4-1 while Spaam and Crystilakere were held to draws. Iansisle pipped New Dubai 1-0. This rearranged the Group 1 table with the top 2 left adrift while Slaikau moved to 3rd and Wapahkoneta gaining 4th. Oddly Jeruselem's loss allowed it to fall to 6th and Spaam actually fell to 7th despite gaining a point.

Jeruselem's shock loss to Slaikau did not rattle the top 2, it was a shock to Jeruselem faithful. To some, it was not a shock as Slaikau with it's 4 draws had proved it was capable if winning and it's time was awaiting. With 5 games left, Jeruselem need to win most of their games to displace the current top 3. However Slaikau are only 2 points above Jeruselem and Spaam, which means the current 3rd and 4th teams cannot rest on their laurrels.

Group 1
New Dubai 0-1 Iansisle
Wapahkoneta 1-1 Spaam
Smoking Pits 2-2 Crystilakere
Slaikau 4-1 Jeruselem

2004 World Cup XVIII Qualifying Group 1

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Iansisle 8 7 1 0 24 5 19 22
2 Crystilakere 8 5 2 1 20 12 8 17
3 Slaikau 8 2 4 2 14 12 2 10
4 Wapahkoneta 8 2 3 3 8 11 -3 9
5 Smoking Pits 8 1 5 2 8 12 -4 8
6 Jeruselem 8 2 2 4 10 16 -6 8
7 Spaam 8 1 4 3 7 12 -5 7
8 New Dubai 8 0 3 5 10 21 -11 3

Iansisle

31-10-2004, 10:14

Smokin’!
Goodman smokes the pits, stops Dubai as offense continues to falter

NEW DUBAI -- While it wasn’t the 6-1 beatdown of New Dubai provided in the first meeting, young James Goodman proved that the Ians have more talents than their offensive offense.

The 21 year old goalkeeping sensation from Dalenshire has to date allowed only a single goal, to Jerusalem in Iansisle’s 2-1 win.

It is a darn good thing Goodman decided to flash his talents, too: Iansisle has averaged only two goals a match in his four starts, as opposed to the four that the Ians scored before Brian Lyon’s injury.

“Early in qualifying,” said coach David Westmore, “people must have assumed that we were a one-trick pony: we could score through our noses, but the defense was terrible. Well, I hope we’ve proved them wrong. I want Brian Lyon to get well as much as anyone, but it’s nice to have more than one way to beat someone.”

Goodman is being hailed as ‘the best thing to happen to Ians football since Alexander Truman.’ Just how the youngster is handling the publicity and sudden fame is uncertain; his mother will not let him talk to the press.

“Get off my porch! Dirty reporters!” Mrs Goodman was quoted as saying.

Westmore refused to validate rumors that star forward Lyon would be back for Iansisle’s meet with second-place Crystilakere at the Westergate Footballing Grounds.

“It’s too early to tell. We don’t want people to be disappointed in case his leg has not fully healed,” said Westmore. “I think that the most important thing right now is making sure that Brian is healthy for the World Cup.”

Never before has an Iansislean been able to speak with such certainty regarding the Ians qualification; with six games left to play, the Ians have opened up a 12 point (and +17 GD) lead over third place Slaikau.

Anything can still happen, but it is not very likely to. Unless, of course, the gods of scorination become angry with the Ians’ hubris and strike them down (again) with odd geological conditions. Of course, given fate’s aim, that is much more likely to happen to Liverpool England. Which means that the Ians will continue being as arrogant as possible.

Fmjphoenix

31-10-2004, 12:34

Fmjphoenix Vikings prepare at home for Snub Nose 38

Vanguard, Fmjphoenix: The Vikings finally return home after playing 3 games away where they went 1-1-1. They play host to Snub Nose 38, who they had a draw 2-2 against when these two first matched on the pitch. Look for this rematch to be a good one. The Vikings have improved both in team chemistry and expierence on the international level, so expect this to be a colse game like last time. Look for Jorge Mendel and Mike Nolan to be all over the place trying to bring in the win at home.

_________________________________________________________________

New training complex in the works for Fmjphoenix VIkings

Vanguard, Fmjphoenix: With the addition of the coaches from the FALE, renovations are being done to improve the Viking Training Complex, right across the street from Viking Arena. They are adding a Olympic size swimming pool, a new 440 ft track, two state-of-the-art weight rooms, one specifically for lower body and cardiovascular exercises, and one for upper body and free weights. These improvements are expected to be finished before the start of WC19, and will also have two extra fields. It is expected that this will be one of the best training complexes built.

"With the changes to the complex, it will only be better. Now it will be easier to do individual trainings and more room for large group work-outs." Coach Wash said of the changes brought up from the FALE coaches. "I think this will be top of the line for years to come."

The Eagles Nest

31-10-2004, 15:24

TEN Wins Defenseless Game Against Ashibot

Next Game: Krytenia

Well, beyond the fact that neither team could play any semblace of defense (on the Nest's side because of the benching of Horace due to an injury suffered against Qia) the match was a great offensive showcase, but the Nest ended up winning 3-2 with goals from Secour, Strong, and Gratunia.

The Nest now return home for a match against Krytenia. A win would vault them into at least second place. With the 4 teams vying for three spots, no Strike Bird fan is at ease. Wins must come through hard work.

The game has been sold out, and will be the 50th consecutive international sell out in Silver Flame Arena. TENFA is starting discussions with local authorities to expand the stadium, from the current 78,000 to around 86-90 thousand.

Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Kaze Progressa 8 6 1 1 18 7 11 19 37
2 Krytenia 8 6 1 1 16 9 7 19 37
3 The Eagles Nest 8 6 0 2 23 13 10 18 36
4 Snub Nose 38 8 5 2 1 15 8 7 17 35
5 Spurland 8 1 3 4 9 13 -4 6 24
6 Fmjphoenix 8 1 3 4 9 16 -7 6 24
7 Qia 8 1 1 6 12 21 -9 4 22
8 Ashibot 8 0 1 7 4 19 -15 1 19

The Eagle's Nest Strike Bird Qualification Run
Matchday 1: The Eagle's Nest vs. Ashibot Win 3-0
Matchday 2: The Eagle's Nest @ Krytenia Win 3-1
Matchday 3: The Eagle's Nest vs. Spurland Win 3-1
Matchday 4: The Eagle's Nest @ Fmjphoenix Win 2-1
Matchday 5: The Eagle's Nest vs. Kaze Progressa Loss 1-2
Matchday 6: The Eagle's Nest @ Snub Nose 38 Loss 2-4
Matchday 7: The Eagle's Nest vs. Qia Win 6-2
-----------------------------------------------------
Matchday 8: The Eagle's Nest @ Ashibot Win 3-2
Matchday 9: The Eagle's Nest vs. Krytenia
Matchday 10: The Eagle's Nest @ Spurland
Matchday 11: The Eagle's Nest vs. Fmjphoenix
Matchday 12: The Eagle's Nest @ Kaze Progressa
Matchday 13: The Eagle's Nest vs. Snub Nose 38
Matchday 14: The Eagle's Nest @ Qia

Rejistania

31-10-2004, 16:11

OOC: My screen is going insane, so this RP is hurried!

A Legal Victory

The Orange-Blues won the match against and in Legalese 4:1 despite the Legal Eagles, who tried their best to keep the score drawn or as a win. The Orange-Blues played very defensively for most of the time. Everyone who thought that with SyLy as coach a new era of offensive soccer started was surely proven wrong. Despite that, the Rejistanians conceded one goal in the 38th minute in a controversal free kick of Lance Masterson (it was said that the referee gave that free kick because he feared to get sued by the Legal Eagles). The Legal Eagles cheered. They had a reason to cheer until Syku Lyku substituted in Jenji Y for "Sa" in the 86th minute. Jenji Y showed his qualities as joker and after 90+3 minutes, the score was 4:1. At that time, most Legal Eagles were too shocked to react at all. Those who did threatened to sue Jenji Y for "serious godmodding", but Jenji Y did not care. Later he told reporters that he has belmorian inheritance and so can't help godmodding once in a while.

The result:
Legalese 1 (Masterson 38th)
Rejistania 4 (Jenji Y 87th, 88th, 89th, 90+1st)

Sarzonia

31-10-2004, 17:40

Stars respond to 'house cleaning', win 3-0

The Sarzonian national team faced an embarrassing first half in which it lost more matches (three) than it won or drew (two each). Coach Dave Wilson benched goalkeeper Troy Perkins and went to a 3-5-2, sending defender Mike Coyle to the bench. The team responded to the changes in personnel and played a sharp match against fifth seeded Northbank, winning 3-0 away.

"That was a good win for us," Wilson said. "Mark played great in net and we played a solid all around game."

Wilson said goalkeeper Troy Perkins would return to the starting 11, saying "the message has been sent," but Tanner played like he did for the Under 21 national team in leading it to prominence. Tanner made four saves, some of them difficult, and the offense came from midfielder Darwin Russell (two goals and an assist) and forward Barry Alphonso (one goal).

The Stars will face Spalatium at the Snake Pit in Saugerties still trailing third place Commerce Heights, but hoping they can turn their win into momentum.

"We need to be able to use this win to push us forward," forward and team captain Brian Wilson said. "We've got some matches coming up against teams we haven't been able to get results from in the past and we need to get those results."

Starblaydia

31-10-2004, 17:50

Just Like Toilet Paper!
Starblaydia are 'On A Roll'... or should that be 'In The Groove'?

Two games played and two wins as Starblaydia get back into the swing of things in the 18th World Cup Qualifiers as they come off the back of their worst series of World Cup results in twelve years.

Both The Evil Umpire and The Latin Union were despatched with 2-0 scorelines. Tetsuo Naoki and Simeone Di Bradini got goals in one match, Eomer Hall and Paulo Bachchan's first ever International goal in the other.

Player WC18Q Goals Total Goals
----------------------------------------
S. Di Bradini 2 26
E. Hall 2 17
T. Naoki 2 14
M. Hawthorne 1 3
K. Carter 1 3
P. Bachchan 1 1

Now back, securely, in the Qualification spots, Starblaydia are looking to keep this winning streak going as far as the Liverpool England game on Matchday Twelve. Sonova, Halfassedstates and Nova Britannicus stand in the way of this, though, as Starblaydia picked up four points from their three initial matches against those teams.

The Halfassedstates game brings a whole bevy of rarely used rules into play. Thought the Halfassedstates Government ceased to exist as an effective body some weeks ago, their football team is still playing competitive matches in Group Ten. As we understand it, each Nation's Football Association (or equivalent) is required to confirm that their team is able to compete in the World Cup Finals if the team qualifies. With no organistation to acknowledge a qualification, the Halfassed team could not be allowed to progress, with their spot being given to the fourth-placed team in Group Ten. This, of course, is beginning to look unlikely without a major string of upsets by Aquiliana or Starblaydia.

One would hope that Starblaydia have finished their 'blip' of playing atrociously, now that we are reliably informed that the Minister for Sport and Double-Posts, Lord Rikaard Van Honjiik, has made his feelings known to manager Guylain N'Dumbu-Nsungu.

In other News, Legendary Starblaydia Winger Aiden Matranga has been quoted as saying that his two sons, Nick and Itechton, would both like to end up playing football for their country. Nick, 15, and Itechton, 3, have both expressed an interest in professional football, with Nick already on the books at Nova Britannicus side Montepool Waves. Itechton (named after the Pedrianan City were Aiden scored his first ever goal for Starblaydia in AOCAF3), however, seems to also be interesting in being a Train Driver, Postman or Astronaut. Time will tell. Itechton Matranga for Starblaydia in the 22nd or 23rd World Cup? I wouldn't bet against it, as 15 year-old Nick Matranga is already in the Under-21 World Cup 7 squad. Watch this space.

Group Ten

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Liverpool England 8 8 0 0 25 7 18 24
2 Aquiliana 8 5 2 1 20 7 13 17
3 Starblaydia 8 4 1 3 10 8 2 13
4 Halfassedstates 8 3 1 4 12 14 -2 10
5 The Evil Umpire 8 2 2 4 9 12 -3 8
6 Nova Britannicus 8 2 2 4 12 18 -6 8
7 The Latin Union 8 1 3 4 8 13 -5 6
8 Sonova 8 1 1 6 7 24 -17 4

Audioslavia

31-10-2004, 18:02

Vollmeria Vollmeria Vollmeria Let Me Go
Beelzebub, has already used this pun, this pun, this puunnnnnnnnnn

3-0, 2-0, 5-0, 4-0. Audioslavia have been in the form of their lives recently and the 4-0 away win against Vollmeria didn't change things one bit. The 'slaves again fielded a weakened* team with new-boy 17-year old Daley Black partnering old-boy 34 year old Danny Bracken in attack. Johansen and Jaynes played the wings with the Karl Tanner being partnered in midfield by Richard Keary. The defence consisted of Crevan, Artaxiad, McFarland and Rijsbergen, with old-boy Haydn Fenwick of Melmond's Suburbia Whites taking the spot in the sticks for the first time since world cup 17.

The game was a foregone conclusion on paper, but it took the 'slaves until the thirtieth minute to get the opening goal. Black beat his marker on the left and pulled the ball back to Bracken to flick the ball into the net for the opener, before Tanner nodded home a Johansen corner on 40 minutes for number two.

The third came around the hour after Johansen was up-ended in the box and Bracken finished for his second and Audioslavia's third. The fourth and final goal was scored by substitute Coalan Fox, converting a wayward Jaynes cross by sliding it at the far post and sweeping the ball in.

FINAL SCORE
Vollmeria 0
Audioslavia 4 (Bracken 31, 56 - Tanner 40 - Fox 77)

*although many critics say its their strongest team*

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Audioslavia 8 7 0 1 24 3 21 21
2 Tadjikistan 8 5 0 3 21 12 9 15
3 Oaker 8 4 2 2 13 8 5 14
4 Druida 8 4 1 3 12 12 0 13
5 Cockbill Street 8 3 3 2 11 8 3 12
6 Avenging Altos 8 2 2 4 8 14 -6 8
7 Kipto-Mare 8 2 0 6 8 23 -15 6
8 Vollmeria 8 0 2 6 3 20 -17 2

Audioslavia currently have the best defensive record of all the qualifiers, letting in just three goals in eight games and scoring 24. The 'slaves good form has put them six points ahead of Tadjikistan in second and eight ahead of Druida in fourth, meaning they need ten points from a possible eighteen to be absoloutely sure of qualification, although six would probably be good enough.

Tadjikistan have reclaimed second place after a hard-earned 4-2 win away to Kipto Mare, taking second after Oaker's draw with Avenging Altos. Oaker stay third, a point ahead of Druida who didn't do their prospects any good by losing at home to a Cockbill Street side who only look like they've only just realised theyre in a world cup. Currently still fifth, the Street have closed the gap between them and qualification from five to two points, and have their best oppotunity to leapfrog one of the sides ahead of them as they play bottom-side Vollmeria at home whilst Druida and Oaker battle it out. A draw there and a win over two or more goals for Cockbill Street would see them take second place.

Jaffacake's Laugh-a-cake at the Battered Vets
What on earth?

Group 1
6 Jeruselem 8 2 2 4 10 16 -6 8
7 Spaam 8 1 4 3 7 12 -5 7

Group 2
6 The Belmore Family 8 2 2 4 8 13 -5 8
7 Kingsford 8 2 1 5 7 9 -2 7

Group 3
5 Cockbill Street 8 3 3 2 11 8 3 12

Group 5
5 The Weegies 8 3 0 5 11 13 -2 9
7 Big Pimento 8 2 1 5 13 20 -7 7

Group 6
5 Dennisov 8 2 2 4 9 14 -5 8
6 Wella 8 2 2 4 9 14 -5 8

Group 9
8 Raptor Claw 8 1 2 5 11 12 -1 5

How the mighty have fallen. Spaam are ex-finalists and Jerusalem were the original 'ok so they sucked just then but... next time they'll win it' team, and there they are in sixth and seventh place in group one. Only one of them can feasably go through with both sides one win away from third but both of them 9/10 points behind second place. Don't count on Slaiku or Smokin' Pits not beating them to it though.

Kingsford and The Belmore Family are also in a bit of a predicament in group 2. Kingsford are ex-champions but can't even get a point-per-game at the moment, whilst The Belmore Family look but a shadow of the team that knocked Audioslavia out of two successive world cups and got to a hatful of quarter-finals. With their classic side long, gone, dead, buried and, more importantly, resurrected badly, TBF's slump in world football looks to go unchecked.

Cockbill Street are finding their form in group three but still remain in fifth place after going their first six games with only one win.

Everything's hunky-dory in group for however in terms of the top teams being in the top places, although many expected the FmJPhoenix side to put more pressure on them after showing promise on the Baptism of Fire tournament.

Group 5 sees another two teams in trouble. Firstly The Weegies aren't 'there or there abouts' like they usually are, instead languishing fifth, eight points behind the qualification spots. Even worse is Big Pimento, so promising after World Cup 17, the side have barely got going and are second from bottom, equally out of the running.

Alls well for the vets in group six although Somalialand, Masserat, Kylaai and Lykaia aren't doing quite as well as many expected, the three well-known teams Vilita, TLC and ORD staying well ahead.

Group seven sees Dennisov, famous WC4 champs, in fifth place on just eight points in a group which is a dead heat from third to eighth, with Wella just behind them on goal difference and looking equally as likely of going out.

Group eight is slightly more normal, although Sarzonia are struggling and Lovisa are doing better than most people expected. The same goes for group ten, but group nine is a bit of a weird one. Raptor Claw qualified for WC17 in emphatic fashion but lie bottom of their group with only one win in eight.

Weird isn't it, but i, Jeremy Jaffacake, would like to take a brief moment to pay homage to all those once-great countries who now reside in either football history, or the 'eight points out of the running at the half-way stage after being in the top ten for years' teams.

Quohog, we salute you
Aquilla, we salute j00.

Brazillico, we salute you. again.

The Belmore Family, we lvoe yuo

Gilmeecia, we 'ate you. Not really.

Errinundera, we offer you the olive branch, but don't worry as it's from a sustainable forrest from a tree which agreed to be part of the gesture.

Kingsford, we misunderestimate you, vote Kerry.

Spaam, we forgive you for Spaamgate, the lesbian affairs, messing up Audioslavia's WC12 bid, knocking us out of WC6 and WC13, beating us all the time and being an aussie. We also salute you.

Giant Zucchini, we still think a-sprout you

Halfassedstates, we can't be bothered to forget you

Crosshill, we barely remember you, but you're the only team to win the cup as a newb so, kudos.

Dark Outcasts, we still try to remember you, but it's hard now that Melmond has taken the 'token female' spot

Pure Evil, we remember you every time someone moans about the scoring system.

And finally, but most importantly,

Ariddia. You are to the NSWC what Democratus was to politics

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake, g'nite bitches

The Belmore Family

31-10-2004, 20:39

You what????

The nation of The Belmore Family after being hit by the awful medical plagues of "The Maths GCSE" and "Damn school trip to Italy" combined with awful epidemic of "The joys of having a girlfriend for 24 hours then needing 48 hours to recover when she dumps you" have noticed that their football team are not doing to well at football. In fact, it has come to our attention we are painstakingly S***.

We have noticed however we are not alone. Kingsford seem to be getting the awful epidemic of "Getting what you deserve you mother f****** Capitalist". sitting 1 point behind us in group 2. However the most painful thing of it all is 3 nations; who wern't even a twinkle in their founders eyes when we were making quarter finals!!! We are infact 14 points behind NEWI Cefn f***wits.

However there is still one question left unanswered.... who, and where are the Belmorian team? Everyone in the Belmore Family had the not-so-deadly "Maths GCSE" and "Damn School Trip to Italy"? The Daily Belmorian has come to a conclusion. Our players were not infact ours; they were a strange cross-bread between the Spaamainians and people-from-commerce-heights-who-in-no-logical-way-could-have a-name-for-their-son-of-a-b****-nationality. Yes that's right, childish little kids who enjoy critisizing people when the only way they can make up for their small genitalia is by owning massive stadia. So that's them using their initiaitive to get at us. Anyway... everything has been solved now. The *official* team has been announced:

1. Luke Williams
2. Micheal Wishmoor
3. Danny Austin
4. Francis Burns
5. Tom Folerst
6. Jamie Town
7. Alex Walker
8. John Love
9. The Belminator
10. Frank Drankus
11. Jules Nightmare

12. Fred Jobo
13. Berti Finland
14. John Sampson
15. Jacob Edwards
16. Adam Smipton

Maserrat

31-10-2004, 20:42

Personal!!!!

The magnificent 0-0 draw with One Red Dot was overshadowed by the sayings of the Somalialand coach before the match, as Karpova went on the offensive against the man:

"I cannot believe the front that this individual is putting on! How dare he criticise my team when he should be taking care of his own. Just because his team cannot get anything against Vilita...it's jealousy I tell you! As for calling my team young, we have taken part in five tournaments now, which is more than his foetus of a team. If he wants to make stupid comments like that, then fine, but he shouldn't expect to get very far. Who knows, maybe if he starts to talk realistically, the scores might start to go his way!"

The comments of the African has made the home match against Somalialand more of a battle than than the Vilita game was expected to be. A win is essential now, not just for the points, but for the pride. This time, it'll be personal.

Somalialand

31-10-2004, 21:02

Emergeny Confrence

Mr Kaproe, After hearing your own comments and Personnal rambering, Iam shocked to see a coach who has not performed try to make himself and his team seem what they are not.

After hearing the Stupid comments made by kaprova the coach went on air to speak and reply to the comments:

"Mr kaprova, your team has struggled in this tournement, you lack both judgement and leadership, because you were kept in this season by you emplyers, your team has suffered.

Mr kaprova, Please make sure that you never attack me personally because, i will not back off, and will hunt your team prsonally, iam known to get teams lose matches, by the way Iam the African coach of the year, with honors on my somalialand cup, I also won the african cup. I want to know what have you done to get a job you dont deserve, The only reason you are here is to play your role, The interantional coaches association is embarrased to know you are coach, Just play your role because you are nothing but an arrogant person who got what he does not deserve to have, I also want to warn the people of maserrat to get another coach because this one is failing you."

After giving such a comments the SFF is waiting for a surge in personal attacks, And has put up an advisory to look at every comment the federation makes.

Bedistan

31-10-2004, 23:26

Matchday 9 scores have been posted. (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7372235&posted=1#post7372235)

Starblaydia

31-10-2004, 23:44

Oh! Thank The Holy Soul of Hendrix!
Starblaydia destroy debutants... for once!

Back on track, Starblaydia smashed four past Sonova at the not-quite-full Bekkside Stadium in Tabeck. All this and a clean sheet too!

With Liverpool England philsophising themselves to a one hundred percent record in the nine games so far, earning themselves qualification in the process, Starblaydia have now pulled just a single point behind Aquiliana. If Starblaydia can get one back against the Falcons, with a similar set of results, Starblaydia could steal an unlikely second place in Group Ten.

Final Score from Bekkside Stadium:
Starblaydia 4 - 0 Sonova
(S Di Bradini 2 & 28, Berisha 53, Stark 71) - (None)

Group Ten

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
[Q] Liverpool England 9 9 0 0 27 8 19 27
[2] Aquiliana 9 5 2 2 21 9 12 17
[3] Starblaydia 9 5 1 3 14 8 6 16
4 Halfassedstates 9 4 1 4 16 16 0 13
5 The Evil Umpire 9 3 2 4 11 13 -2 11
6 Nova Britannicus 9 2 2 5 13 20 -7 8
7 The Latin Union 9 1 3 5 10 17 -7 6
8 Sonova 9 1 1 7 7 28 -21 4

Sarzonia

01-11-2004, 01:04

Stars slam door on Spalatium, 2-1

The Sarzonian national team reminded everyone who would listen that they didn't beat Spalatium in a match they expected to win easily. They reminded everyone they had no margin for error trailing Commerce Heights by four points for third place. But until forward and team captain Brian Wilson scored a goal with time running out in regulation, the Stars were facing another embarrassing result against a lower seed.

"We sure don't like to make things too easy, do we," Coach Dave Wilson joked. "We're getting into a pattern of playing to the level of our competition. When we're facing the better teams, we've had two of our best games, but we have some ugly results against the lower ranked teams. It's frustrating."

The Stars (4-2-3, 14 points) struck first with the right boot of midfielder Darwin Russell, whose bending free kick sliced into the net past the Spalatium goalkeeper in the 19th minute. Stars goalkeeper Troy Perkins couldn't hold the lead, reacting slowly on a cross into the box. Spalatium's leading goalscorer added to his goal total in the 36th minute and the Stars went into the locker room a stunned team.

"That goal was my fault," Perkins said. "I know I have to play better than that."

The Stars started playing their possession game more in the second half and dominated possession but until Brian Wilson's goal, the team couldn't take advantage of several goalscoring opportunities.

"We're still not playing consistently the way we want to, but we'll take wins when we can get them," said midfielder Bobby Convey. "We need to play a lot better next match against Commerce Heights." The team announced that the match against Commerce Heights would be at Hendrix Stadium in Woodstock.

"We need the home field advantage there," Brian Wilson said. "We need the fans to be behind us big time against Commerce Heights."

The loss officially eliminated Spalatium from contention for a World Cup berth.

Liverpool England

01-11-2004, 07:42

9-0-0: Qualification
The team beat Aquiliana 2-1 for the second time in the qualifying campaing to qualify for the World Cup with a perfect 9-from-9 record. However, there is a hitch. Reports are surfacing that Halfassedstates has been seen. If so, the team needs 2 more points to secure qualification. More news as it happens.

The Belmore Family

01-11-2004, 07:51

Crowds chant for publuc castration as Belmorians lose to Eskrador

We remember once great times... those times are now gone. We have very little hope of ever reaching a World Cup Finals.and whose fault is it? Many people say Alan City. There inability to play any Belmorians has angered many people. Alan City are only looking towards other, better nations such as Rejistania and leaving Belmorians to go to other countries. However, others blame it on the players. Alan Belmore was quoted last night as saying "This is the worst Belmorian team since the game was invented- he was probably right. And with the board looking to sack the manager there have been different cries from the populas. Many people believe that the only way to sort this mess is to publically castrate the team if they fail to make a qualification spot. Harsh perhaps. But this team need to work harder.

Krytenia

01-11-2004, 11:37

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

My God, Where Were We?

KRYTENIANS woke up this morning to the rather surprising news that nine World Cup Qualifiers had been played with no media coverage at all.

We can't have that!

Matchday One: Qia The Door

AN excellent start for the Celestials, coming back from two-one down to win by the odd goal in a five goal thriller. Stephen Xousa grabbed the winner on 73 minutes.

KRYTENIA 3-2 QIA
Scorers: Smith 2, Xousa

Matchday Two: Eagle Chow

THE Eagles Nest played Krytenia for the first time since World Cup XVI at the Davis Memorial Stadium, and came away with a convincing victory. Colin Ulvæus' equaliser in the first half was not enough as Krytenia were blown away in the second period.

KRYTENIA 1-3 THE EAGLES NEST
Scorer: Ulvæus

Matchday Three: Bouncebackability

THREE goals, three points, three games, three home games, third place. Three is the magic number. Unless you're from Ashibot, who were put to the sword by a ruthless Celestial side, including a first for young Chris Kochanski.

KRYTENIA 3-0 ASHIBOT
Scorers: Xousa, Rimmer, Kochanski

Matchday Four: For Whom The Cock Crows

SPURLAND: A team that Krytenia dropped points they could ill afford to in World Cup XVII. Yup, happened again. The Spurs fought well, taking the lead, and even an Acienko Rimmer double couldn't earn all three points.

SPURLAND 2-2 KRYTENIA
Scorer: Rimmer 2

Matchday Six: Kaze Regressa

KAZE Progressa are a major nation in world football. But hey, one swift knee in the happy sacks, they'll drop like anyone else. Said knee was provided by Cecil Poldov, whose delicate chip left the Progressan keeper flailing.

KRYTENIA 1-0 KAZE PROGRESSA
Scorer: Poldov

Matchday Seven: History Snubbed

AFTER the Progressans, another big name, another swift knee. Not even "Margaret" could help Snub Nose 38 against the power of 110,000 screaming Celestials fans, who practically sucked Eddie Moliano's scrambled effort into the net from a corner.

KRYTENIA 1-0 SNUB NOSE 38
Scorer: Moliano

Matchday Eight: History Repeating

QIA again for MD8, and this time, Krytenia came out fighting. Good job they did, as a three-nil lead on 51 minutes had become three-two by the eightieth. The Celestials held on though.

QIA 2-3 KRYTENIA
Scorers: Smith, Rimmer 2

Matchday Nine: The Bogeymen

Three times Krytenia and The Eagles Nest have met. Three times the senior partner has won. This time, it took a well judged volley from Siggy Secour on the hour to deny a spirited Krytenian side.

THE EAGLES NEST 1-0 KRYTENIA
Scorers: n/a

The Lowland Clans

01-11-2004, 12:00

Graham City Sun
Qualifying Half-way Review

ASFA Prediction Tables

1. Vilita
2. The Lowland Clans
3. One Red Dot
4. Masserat
5. Somalialand
6. Malundia
7. Lykaia
8. Kylaai

Matchday 1 - vs Malundia
The expected victory. Nothing horribly special about this game, but the Stars continue upon there merry way training for the big match against Vilita.

TLC Stars 3 - 0 Malundia

Matchday 2 - vs Somalialand
Now this game had people excited. Playing against a hihgly self-inflated team, the Stars helped poke a hole in their helium filled balloon, devastating their team despite the low scoreline. Manager Terry Fleury enjoyed total superorty over his opponents.

TLC Stars 1 - 0 Somalialand

Matchday 3 - vs Lykaia
Ah, the hated Lykaians. Perhaps only slightly less hated than the Aquillans, the Stars came into this match looking for total payback. When asked what they were paying back, Fleury said he wasn't sure, but that it didn't really matter. The Stars came into the match hungry for a morale boosting victory (not that we needed one, but hey who cares?), and they got one. With dominating play from Pavel Julios and Niko Ijas meant that the incredibly strong midfield showed it's stuff like no other game before it. Chalk up another win for the Stars

TLC Stars 2 - 0 Lykaia

Matchday 4 - vs Masserat
This game was generally regarded as a good practice game, without much risk involved but a good workout none-the-less. The game turned out to be just that. With several good challenges in the first half, Masserat didn’t take this game lying down, but simply didn’t have the talent to compete with us, but generally, a good all around team. Manager Lester Preston had nothing but good to say about their play: “They have a lot of promise and I wouldn’t want to play them again in two cups.” The midfield once again dominated the game, giving the Stars many chances that wouldn’t have had otherwise.

TLC Stars 2 – 0

Matchday 5 – vs Vilita
Ah, now this is the game everyone has been waiting for, and it certainly was a show worth watching. The game started of badly for the Stars, with Callum Banda taking advantage of a goof up by Devon George, who flumped on a pass to the Jungle Kitties (sorry Vilitan press, couldn’t help it ;)) star forward. The game continue with Vilita dominating scoring to back-to-back goals at the end of the first half. But Preston, McGill and Fleury all had harsh but encouraging words for the Stars, who came out flying , with Peter Bearclaw taking advantage of a bad pass by Ramzi and blasting it in past the shocked Jimmy Kater. The Stars scored again with twelve minutes to go in the game, on a quick play by Nikop Ijas, who challenged Inaki Soler excellently and stole the ball, and rushed past the slacking defense to score on a beautiful shot just past the outstretched fingers of Kater. But they were unable to close the gap and lost a bitter game.

TLC Stars 2 – 3 Vilita

Matchday 6 – vs One Red Dot
This match was also an exciting match, highlighting some of the best soccer played by wither side up to this point in qualifying. With the best midfield in the group, the Stars opened up the game clogging up ORD attacks and preventing them from forming any kind of support for there attacks. The Stars opened the scoring when Kevin Landingham blew a powershot past the keeper twenty-three minutes in. The Dots then came back, pulled together and put two quick goals in on some genuine great effort and some pretty juvenile mistakes by the Stars defensive core. The Stars went into half a little demoralized and confused, but Fleury rallied the troops and led them two a couple of excellent goals late in the half after dominating the second half.

TLC Stars 3 – 2 One Red Dot

Matchday 7 – vs Kylaai
After a rather disappointing last two games, the Stars throw their full weight against the Lykaia clones Kylaai. Similar to that game is respects that Stars won by two goals and just [i]owned[i] them. Pavel Julios scored the hat trick for the Stars, toying with the defence all night long. A good game to watch if you were a Stars fan. Bad if you were Kylaai.

Next 7 MD Predictions:
vs Malundia – 2 – 0 Stars
vs Somalialand – 3 – 1 Stars
vs Lykaia – 3 – 0 Stars
vs Masserat – 3 – 1 Stars
vs Vilita – 1 – 0 Stars
vs One Red Dot – 2 – 0 Stars
vs Kylaai – 4 – 0 Stars

Fmjphoenix

01-11-2004, 12:01

Fmjphoenix beats Snub Nose 38 in first home win in tournament
By Allen Newhouse

Vanguard, Fmjphoenix: The roars were deafening in Viking Arena today as Fmjphoenix emjoyed its second win in three games defeating a tough Snub Nose 38 team 2-1. Mariano Rodriquez provided the game winning goal for the Vikings who are playing very good right now. Jorge Mendel scored the other goal for Fmjphoenix who are sitll trying to ear a qualifying bid in their first time in the World Cup. They still have a long way to go, with next week against Qia, they must be ready to play hard as they did today against the 4th place Snubians.

The game started off slowly, no team taking a shot until Mike Nolan missed at the thirteenth minute. Barney Rubble and Fred Flinstone took a shot and rebound shot at the twenty-fourth minute, but they could not get past Powell Lamar. Then at the thirty-first minute Jorge Mendel put it past Elmer Fudd for the first goal of the game to put Fmjphoenix up 1-0. That score stood through the end of the first half. Five minutes into the second half, Bugs Bunny took a nice pass from Mickey Mouse, shook past Bobby Bash and blew it past Lamar to tie it up 1-1. Only a few shots were took in the next twenty minutes until Nolan shot over the net. After the toss-in, Nolan took the ball away from Donald Duck and passed to an open Rodriquez, who promptly put it in the net to put the Vikings up 2-1.

Tommorow, the Vikings will travel to Qia in hopes of gaining more momentum and a winning streak before they go against a tough The Eagles Nest. Look for the Vikings to continue using the 4-3-3 line-up and more improvement form the team.

Goals:
Jorge Mendel - 31'23
Bugs Bunny - 50'41
Mariona Rodriquez - 71'

Final Score:
Snub Nose 38 [1] - Fmjphoenix [2]

Referees:
Richard Griffen
Tom Terrific

Group Four Standings

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Kaze Progressa 9 7 1 1 24 9 15 22
2 The Eagles Nest 9 7 0 2 24 13 11 21
3 Krytenia 9 6 1 2 16 10 6 19
4 Snub Nose 38 9 5 2 2 16 10 6 17
5 Fmjphoenix 9 2 3 4 11 17 -6 9
6 Spurland 9 1 4 4 9 13 -4 7
7 Qia 9 1 2 6 12 21 -9 5
8 Ashibot 9 0 1 8 6 25 -19 1

Maserrat

01-11-2004, 12:21

Kylaai Was More Important

At a press conference after yesterday's thrilling away win to Kylaai, which sees their unbeaten run extend to four games, Karpova made it clear that he had been much more concerned with preparing for the match than to have a war of words with the Somalialand coach.

"I don't think I have to prove myself to a man like him. We have already achieved much more than most nations in this sport, and I think tonight was proof of how good we really are. If this African wishes to dispute this fact, then he is welcome to. I don't have the time or the inclination to respond anymore. I am much more concerned about the welfare of my team, something that the Somalialand coach should also be concentrating on, as opposed to trying to unsettle me and my players. If he had any sportsmanship in him, he would get back to what is most important, the game, and stop trying to hassle everybody else, because nobody wants to hear it."

Perhaps the Maserrat team did have something to prove last night, to the Africans if perhaps not anybody else. Whatever their motive, they put on an excellent show in Kylaai, dominating all over the pitch, and making scoring chances as if they were the only team out there. This was a performance worthy of Baptism Of Fire Cup winners, and that is something that nobody can dispute. Tonight's match against Maldunia could prove to be crucial, as Maserrat work towards their fifteen point target. Two wins from the remaining five games is the target, and tonight's match must surely be one of those two. Regardless of how well or how badly the Maserrat team do in this tournament, they have set themselves up for a much better performance next time round, as they have gained vital experience over the last eight games. Now that they have tasted international victory, it's something that they will have acquired a taste for, and something they will strive to sample again tonight.

Jeruselem

01-11-2004, 13:27

Jeruselem Government News

The Empire Strikes Back

Some people thought it was all over after Slaikau's 4-1 win over Jeruselem, the dream is gone. Once again Jeruselem showed the pundits, they still have the fight. Jeruselem's 3-0 win over Wapahkoneta pushed Jeruselem back to 4th as Slaikau also did the same over Smoking Pits.

It was their best win and Wapahkoneta who was 4th, felt the sword of Crusaders. With captain Mimi Goldstein in midfield commanding the troop,s Wapahkoneta who drew with Jeruselem earlier were shut out.

Crazy Dave explained the game "Well, this is what our team should be. Not that 4-1 shocker, but this 3-0 win. We controlled the midfield, choked their forward supply and fired our trebecets at their goal. There were under siege and towers finally crumbled as the Crusaders flooded the Wapahkoneta penalty area to storm home as winners".

Spaam had another draw while Slaikau's 3-0 win over Smoking Pits kept Jeruselem at bay. In the game of the round, Iansisle beat out Crystilakere to win a 2-1 thriller and show who was #1 in Group 1. Still, Crystilakere is 4 points clear of Slaikau and looks the favourite to be the #2.

Group 1
Iansisle 2-1 Crystilakere
Spaam 1-1 New Dubai
Jeruselem 3-0 Wapahkoneta
Slaikau 3-0 Smoking Pits

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Iansisle 9 8 1 0 26 6 20 25
2 Crystilakere 9 5 2 2 21 14 7 17
3 Slaikau 9 3 4 2 17 12 5 13
4 Jeruselem 9 3 2 4 13 16 -3 11
5 Wapahkoneta 9 2 3 4 8 14 -6 9
6 Spaam 9 1 5 3 8 13 -5 8
7 Smoking Pits 9 1 5 3 8 15 -7 8
8 New Dubai 9 0 4 5 11 22 -11 4

Druida

01-11-2004, 13:32

The Tribune Tribune
Serving Druid Tribune and the surrounding area

EVERYTHING'S STILL OAK-AY
Trefor Blackmore on Oaker 1 Druida 1

After a mixed recent run of results, the Druida rainbows went to Oaker in search of another surprise win that would send them into second place in Group 3. However, a terrible mistake by Trefor Merthyr in the dying minutes of the game meant that the dream of keeping hold of a qualifying spot for yet another matchday had gone.

Everything started so well for the rainbows. They scored an early goal after Urk was put through one-on-one with Oaker in the Oaker goal, before slipping the ball under the advancing keeper. From then on, Druida looked like a solid unit that their hosts had no chance of breaking down. Oaker didn't look like they would score if they carried on all day. Hell, all year and they'd still be struggling. But just when it looked like the points weer safe, disaster struck.

The rainbows had a throw in on the half way line that Thunk was taking. He threw it to Merthyr, who unfortunately had the touch of a rapist. The ball flew off his foot in no particular direction and went straight to Oaker legend Flash Oaker, who had no problem beating Trefor Edwards in the Druida goal. A soft goal giving Oaker a soft result.

At least the rainbows should win their next match. The hopeless Kipto-Mare team come to the Pot of Gold next. Though the 'Mares are actually ranked as a better team than the rainbows, the results in the group so far have shown anything but, with Druida still very much in contension for qualifying in fifth place, a point behind the second placed Tadjiks, while their next opponents languish in seventh, eight points below Druida.

Final score:

Oaker 1-1 Druida
Oaker 87 Urk 12

Meanwhile, the Druidan government have gone ahead with buying themselves a second hand RP-machine. It is an older edition, rumoured to be from Commerce Heights from about the World Cup 12 era. However, as there has been very little for the Druidan government to actually feed into the machine recently (we don't think it takes excess chickens), the results of the Druida rainbows are expected to drop in accordance. Hopefully it won't mean the end of the qualification hopes, though...

NEWI Cefn Druids

01-11-2004, 13:45

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Well, here we are again with NEWI Cefn Druids defensive coach and infamous 'no-man' Amos Hinton. Amos, are you happy with the way qualifying has gone so far?"

Amos Hinton: "No, no, I am far from happy. OK, we are going through, but what are most of the best teams in dominant positions for? Surely it would be much better for us if teams like Rejistania and Vilita weren't virtual certainties to go through."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Well, actually I just meant the Druids on their own, not anyone else, but fair enough. So, have you anything you want to say to the fans?"

Amos Hinton: "No, no, I have absolutely nothing to say."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Fair enough, Amos Hinton thank you very much. Back to the studio."

Amos Hinton: "No, no, no, I din't actually mean it!"

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Well, it's too late now. We've already cut back to the studio."

Amos Hinton: "No you haven't. We're still on air. I know this because we wouldn't still be having our words recorded if we weren't."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "I'm afraid you're wrong, listen, Amos, here is a radio, we'll tune it in to CBN... see, not us."

Amos Hinton: "No, no, I refuse to believe that that is us."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Are you on some kind of medication ore something?"

Amos Hinton: "No, no, I am not on anyhting."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Well, you should be."

The Eagles Nest

01-11-2004, 17:10

Secour's Lone Goal Proved Winner

TEN Beats Krytenia 1-0 in Defensive Struggle

Coach Aefnen's defenders had taken his words to heart. "If we hold a team out of our net, then our offense can secour any win we need." The Birds needed that win against Krytenia and got it with Siggy Secour's insane curving free kick right at 60 minutes to give the nest three critical points and after Fmjphoenix's upset against Snub Nose 38, is but one point behind Kaze progressa for the group lead, 4 points up on the 4th place team.

The first half showed great defense on both sides, and a scoreless tie at halftime. Being the early game today, there was no news on any of the other scores in the group, so the nest played it as a must win. Secour got his free kick on a horrific tackle that should have been a yellow card on the Krytenian defender, but was ignored, and the kick given. Secour curved it over the wall, and just past the outstreched keeper's hands, 1-0.

The challenge thrown, the Nest now had to hold the lead with a very partisan crowd rooting for them in sold out Silver Flame Arena. And hold they did.

With 5 games to play, the Nest must win at least 4 to secour a spot outright without any worrying about any other team. Games against Kaze Progressa, Spurland, and Snub Nose 38 will more than likely decide who goes in this group.

Starblaydia

01-11-2004, 17:35

Travel Plans Given Go-ahead
Starblaydia off to Halfassedstates

Though having lost 1-0 at home, the Starblaydi Football Association has confirmed that the national team will be travelling to Halfassedstates for the Matchday 10 game. Though recent internal troubles have caused much controversy as to whether the game should even be played at all, the SFA are sure that the event will come off without a hitch, so every commentator can concentrate on the on-pitch action.

Simeone Di Bradini goes into the match just a brace away from the magic number of Thirty International Goals, with Tetsuo Naoki hoping to jump up to equal-third in the all-time list with a single goal. Giannis Berisha also got back on the 'Goal Trail' with his first goal in over four years since netting against New Manhattan in the 3rd AOCAF. Starblaydia came second in that tournament, so what price Starblaydia going through into the Finals and far in the knockouts?

Worth a flutter, I think...

Starblaydi Goal Tally
Player WC18Q Goals Total Goals
----------------------------------------
S. Di Bradini 4 28
E. Hall 2 17
T. Naoki 2 14
A. Ol-wairain 1 11
G. Berisha 1 7
J. Stark 1 6
M. Hawthorne 1 3
K. Carter 1 3
P. Bachchan 1 1

World Cup 18 Qualifiers - Starblaydi Results and Schedule
Starblaydia 2-1 The Latin Union - {Hawthorne, Naoki}
Sonova 2-1 Starblaydia - {S Di Bradini, Hall}
Starblaydia 0-1 Halfassedstates - {None}
Nova Britannicus 0-0 Starblaydia - {None}
Liverpool England 1-2 Starblaydia - {Ol-wairain}
Aquiliana 1-3 Starblaydia - {Carter}
Starblaydia 2-0 The Evil Umpire - {Naoki, S Di Bradini}
The Latin Union 2-0 Starblaydia - {Bachchan, Hall}
Starblaydia 4-0 Sonova - {S Di Bradini (2), Berisha, Stark}
Halfassedstates Vs Starblaydia - {TBA}
Starblaydia Vs Nova Britannicus - {Foundation Road, Jhanna, 75,000 - Iskara Daii}
Starblaydia Vs Liverpool England - {Jader Barbalho Stadium, Jhanna, 94,000 - Jhanna United}
Starblaydia Vs Aquiliana - {Hallad City Stadium, Hallad, 49,000 - Hallad Reavers}
The Evil Umpire Vs Starblaydia - {TBA}

Commerce Heights

01-11-2004, 20:16

Capitalizts Find New Coach, Win 3 More
COMMERCE HEIGHTS, CH—New Capitalizts head coach Andrew Delphiki managed to make up for the three losses after the firing of coach Rejis’slani’ny, scoring three strong wins against Northbank, Spalatium, and Legalese. The Northbank win was easily obtained when Northbank constantly attacked the northern goal of Maxisoft Stadium, scoring two own goals in the second half. The curse of the 2‒1 scores was finally broken against Spalatium when the Capitalizts realized that the day of the match was “Privatization Day”, the day of the founding of the Unified Capitalizt States. The team celebrated the day by playing the match dressed as CEOs, constantly brushing dirt off of their suits. The Spalatium team found the scene so hilarious that they could not help but roll on the field and laugh at the Capitalizts, allowing the only goal of the match. The Legalese match was even easier—the Capitalizts simply cited 2 UCSC §38, the law stating that all air above Commerce Heights and below 5,000′ is the property of the government and is licensed only to citizens. The Lawyers struggled, unable to breathe, and were forced to give up the match after scoring only one goal.
Final Scores—Matchdays 7‒9:
Commerce Heights 2 Northbank 1 (NTH #3 OG 65, NTH #9 81)
Spalatium 0 Commerce Heights 1 (Simoleon 41)
Commerce Heights 3 Legalese 1 (2 UCSC §38 19, 19, 19)

Rejistania

01-11-2004, 21:57

Well lovisian teams, all matches lose

The Sen-La-Sa~o Relekhati Stadium was completely sold out for the match against one of the higher ranked teams on group 8. The Orange-Blues met the national team of Lovisa. The two nations have some similarities for foreigners: both countries have a language, which is incomprehensible and use a huge lot of special characters in their alphabet. Coach SyLy said that this match is one of the most important in this qualifiers (an unconfirmed SyLy quote: "You want to know what the most important match is? There are 14 of them!"). The match had to start half an hour too late since the lovisians got lost in KaMaRi kali and could not ask for directions. Luckily, the traffic on the streets was nonexisting (due to the fact that the Orange-Blues played) so they had no problem with the infamous traffic jams.

The lovisian team had the better start but the Orange-Blues were able to cope with their attacks due to their extremely defensive tactic. The counter-attacks were again the key to success: in the 32nd minute, Syly Kansu was stole the ball from a lovisian defender, passed upfields to Siki Venji, who instantly started a counter. Salakerijasamenatira "Sa" Harakemindanutikejil scored and caused the lovisan fans to swear in an incomprehensible language, which was either lovisani or polish.

Despite some chances for Lovisa, the Orange-Blues saved the 1:0 lead into the second half. The second half started like the first one ended: with a strong rejistani defense, much ball posession for Rejistania but too few chances or attacks for that matter. It was Lovisa to score next: Famous extraliga striker <eastern-european characterset not supported!!!> tried from a distance and the rejistani defense as well as goalie Ninu Juru were outsmarted. The Orange-Blues used that shock to start to play a bit more offensive. Ji Y managed to get past most of the lovisian defense in the 86th minute, but instead of trying to finish, he passed to "Sa", who was in a worse position. Surprise was again the factor which decided: The lovisian goalie expected a shot from Y'he so "Sa" had not too much problem to get the ball past him. The fans cheered or sweared according to their nationality. The Orange-Blues kept the 2:1 until full time. Lovisian fans were disappointed by the "defensive bore", co-coach Jen Y proposed the disappointed fans to watch a domestic match in Soamlialand if they want to see lots and lots of goals.

The result:
Rejistania 2 (Harakemindanutikejil 32nd 86th)
Lovisa 1 (<eastern-european characterset not supported!!!> 75th)

Krytenia

01-11-2004, 22:12

The Birds needed that win against Krytenia and got it with Siggy Secour's insane curving free kick right at 60 minutes

OOC Mini-Gripe: Er, how do you volley a free-kick?

Somalialand

01-11-2004, 22:28

Somalialand Beats The Lowlands.

The federal Government today congratulated the football players who have without any further trouble beat the lowlands who have beat us in the first round.

At this point somalialand is seeking to go to the vilitans and beat them too, but the vilitans are not expected to be as hard as the game we had yesterday, somalialand id going the last few miles of this race and it will take the fight to the big groups who have so far are considered the best of the best.

I believe if this group goes on as it is, the winner will come from this group and I will be happy to even considered may be beating the world cup winner. Somalialand happy after Luure and Sumaye scored the goals, after getting one point up the team with 2:1 at the half time somalialand repeated and answered a goal scored by a lowland ending the match with a 3:2 win for somalialand

If somalialand goes like this they will for sure get the third place finish without a doubt.

The two teams that are blocking the way to third place are One Red Dot and Maserrat,

One Red Dot:
One red dot considered a second place finisher at the beginning of this great and magnificent tournament has failed to achieve its initial roar, at this point its hanging to the third place finish with lykaia and kylaai behind it although both those teams will sink below somalialand and maserrat,
One red dot can secure its third place with two wins and it can loose and clinch at least fourth place with 2 loses.

Masarrat:

Mascara is one of the most challenged teams on this tournament, after losing it way out of the first half of this tournament came back with two wins and almost half a dozen losses, But the teams seems to be challenging its competitor Somalialand to the tee and is considered a heavy fourth place finisher if somalialand clinches third place but if smalialand doesn’t clinch third place it will definitely take 5 place

Table#

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Vilita 9 7 1 1 22 11 11 22
2 The Lowland Clans 9 6 0 3 19 11 8 18
3 One Red Dot 9 5 2 2 20 7 13 17
4 Lykaia 9 4 1 4 21 21 0 13
5 Kylaai 9 3 1 5 12 17 -5 10
6 Maserrat 9 2 3 4 8 13 -5 9
7 Somalialand 9 2 2 5 10 17 -7 8
8 Maldunia 9 1 2 6 8 23 -15 5

Bedistan

01-11-2004, 22:44

{MD10 placeholder}

Cockbill Street

01-11-2004, 23:37

Oaker, Oaker, Oaker, Oaker, Tree!
Streetians Run Into Oak Again

Something must really be done about those oak trees. Just as the Streetian qualifying campaign was starting to pick up, the C-mail correspondent had been shaken out of hibernation (and cricket fascination), they crash to an Oaker side which is made up of stationary oak trees.

That's right. A bunch of trees scored a couple of goals in the first half, and then the mountain (or should that be jungle?) for the Street became very, very hard to combat. Desperately needing a victory to cling on to second or at least third place in the group, the Streetians came back to 1-2 thanks to a magnificent strike from Chalcedony, only to be pegged back when the ball rustled through some leaves of the striker (only Blind Io knows how they didn't manage to put the oaks offside), and into the net. Three-one at half-time.

Coach Hexatux was furious, insofar as a math-logic device can have emotions (it's safer to assume they can, given the amount of "Out of Cheese Errors" and "Redo From Start" that the orders that were revealed to the C-mail afterwards showed). A severe reordering of the XI was required, and when Liam Wharton was given his WC debut (the only player not to have been tried by Hexatux yet), he proved his worth. Scoring the first goal within ten minutes - a beautiful shot to the right of the keeper (a nine-hundred year old tree that had been preserved due to its cultural value), Wharton then made his mark again with a truly world-class dribble (okay, it's easy when your opponents are rooted to the spot) before hammering a ball through the leaves, into the bar, and into the goal. Three-three and the Streeters took some good things from this match.

Cockbill Street XI: Havell 3 - Stronginthearm 6, Cribbage 4, Jones 4, Gunter 7 - Keegan 4 (Minedigger on 69), Nickel-carbide 6, Axewielder 7 (Stewart on 58), Underwood 5 - Olafsson 3 (Wharton on 45 6), Chalcedony 6

COCKBILL STREET 3 (Chalcedony 37, Wharton 60, 69)
OAKER 3 (Tree 11, Another Tree 28, I'm Fed Up With Inventing Tree Sorts 40)

Starblaydia

02-11-2004, 00:39

Six Points Clear, Twelve Available
Starblaydia Turn Tables on Halfassedstates

After picking up just one point in four games during Matchdays Three to Six, Starblaydia have now got back into the realms of the Victorious with four wins from their last four to stride up the group table and into the Qualification Places, in with a bullet at number three.

'Now our results are getting back to what the experts predicted,' commented Minister for Sport Lord Rikaard Van Honjiik, 'we can see about getting into our predicted position of second.'

The partnership of Di Bradini and Hall might finally be clicking as the 'telepathy', essential for any good partnership across a football field, appears to kick in in fits and starts. As one goes wide, the other comes inside. As one drops deep, the other moves up. Eomer's flick-ons and Simeone's lay-offs are coming together in a nice, harmonius partnership. Great!

Another Twelve Points from the next set of Four Matches are unlikely, but here are our predictions for the next four, crucial games.

Nova Britannicus - Win. Anything other than a win at home to the Navy-Blues will be truly Abysmali
Liverpool England - Draw. Hopefully the home advantage can raise Starblaydia to
Aquiliana - Draw. Hell, lets be conservative about this. Can't win 'em all, eh?
The Evil Umpire - Win. Must be a win. Absolutely must be.

Other Matchday 10 Scores in Group 10
The Evil Umpire [0] Liverpool England [2]
A bog-standard win for Liverpool England, but one they can celebrate, as no combination of results on the next four Matchdays can see Liverpool England finish out of the Qualification spots

Sonova [2] Aquiliana [4]
Conceding two against Sonova? Tsk Tsk, Falcons, this isn't good enough if you want to beat Starblaydia to 2nd place

The Latin Union [1] Nova Britannicus [1]
Another point for the Navy-Blues

Final Score:
Halfassedstates 1 - 3 Starblaydia
(Meh 62) - (Hall 22, S Di Bradini 26, Durand 68)

Starblaydi Goal Tally
Player WC18Q Goals Total Goals
----------------------------------------
S. Di Bradini 5 29
E. Hall 3 18
T. Naoki 2 14
A. Ol-wairain 1 11
G. Berisha 1 7
J. Stark 1 6
M. Hawthorne 1 3
K. Carter 1 3
J. Durand 1 2
P. Bachchan 1 1

Group 10 Table, Matchday 10
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
[Q] Liverpool England 10 10 0 0 29 8 21 30
[2] Aquiliana 10 6 2 2 25 11 14 20
[3] Starblaydia 10 6 1 3 17 9 8 19
- ---------------- -- - - - -- -- -- --
4 Halfassedstates 10 4 1 5 17 19 -2 13
5 The Evil Umpire 10 3 2 5 11 15 -4 11
6 Nova Britannicus 10 2 3 5 14 21 -7 9
7 The Latin Union 10 1 4 5 11 18 -7 7
8 Sonova 10 1 1 8 9 32 -23 4

The Eagles Nest

02-11-2004, 00:50

((Kry, me misreading it. sorry. my bad.))

Strike Birds Leave Spurland With 3-0 Win

Two Wins or Win and SN38 Loss Clinch for Birds

Well, the Nest is back in form taking care of Spurland 3 nothing. Spurland tried a very focusing defensive scheme to stop leading score Siggy Secour from scoring, but allowed Horace, Weber Strong, and Mario Gratunia to each score one in the second half.

With the win, the Nest can now control it's own destiny. It can win of it's last 4 matches to secour a win, or win tomorrow against Fmjphoenix and hope for a Snub Nose 38 loss, which could happen on MD13 as the Nest plays the Hooligans in the safe confines of the Siver Flame Arena.

In other news today, tensions on all sides from many countries are on the rise, as sports trash talking has escalated to possible war with both sides stepping up their armies. The Nest has offered to serve as mediator, but made it clear that before talks should start, the verbal sparring must stop.

The Nest is entering the most crucial stage of the qualifying stage, facing elimated Qia and Fmjphoenix, but also playing against group leading Kaze Progressa in Kaze Progressa. It could be worse...they could be in Group 3 where almost every team is still eligible for qualifcation.

Finally, there are reports that a few referees that worked the Snub Nose 38 and KP games have failed to show up for their next assignment. More details they become clear.

*Shadowry Figure:* *puts down newspaper* Oh, they're clear....very clear. Guido, can you go check on them?

*muffled screasm in the background*

Guido: *short nod and then walks off towards the screams*

Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Kaze Progressa 10 8 1 1 26 9 17 25 37
2 The Eagles Nest 10 8 0 2 27 13 14 24 36
3 Krytenia 10 7 1 2 20 10 10 22 34
4 Snub Nose 38 10 5 2 3 16 12 4 17 29
E Fmjphoenix 10 2 3 5 12 19 -7 9 21
E Qia 10 2 2 6 14 22 -8 8 20
E Spurland 10 1 4 5 9 16 -7 7 19
E Ashibot 10 0 1 9 6 29 -23 1 13

The Eagle's Nest Strike Bird Qualification Run
Matchday 1: The Eagle's Nest vs. Ashibot Win 3-0
Matchday 2: The Eagle's Nest @ Krytenia Win 3-1
Matchday 3: The Eagle's Nest vs. Spurland Win 3-1
Matchday 4: The Eagle's Nest @ Fmjphoenix Win 2-1
Matchday 5: The Eagle's Nest vs. Kaze Progressa Loss 1-2
Matchday 6: The Eagle's Nest @ Snub Nose 38 Loss 2-4
Matchday 7: The Eagle's Nest vs. Qia Win 6-2
-----------------------------------------------------
Matchday 8: The Eagle's Nest @ Ashibot Win 3-2
Matchday 9: The Eagle's Nest vs. Krytenia Win 1-0
Matchday 10: The Eagle's Nest @ Spurland Win 3-0
Matchday 11: The Eagle's Nest vs. Fmjphoenix
Matchday 12: The Eagle's Nest @ Kaze Progressa
Matchday 13: The Eagle's Nest vs. Snub Nose 38
Matchday 14: The Eagle's Nest @ Qia

Liverpool England

02-11-2004, 01:27

10-0-0: Yes, Qualification Secured

A win over The Evil Umpire gave Liverpool England 30 points from 30 and secured qualification. Damien Turner scored both goals within 7 minutes after coming on as a second-half substitute. Liverpool England remain the only team to have a 100% record, and yes, this record is better than Arsenal's IRL this season. (;))

Sirx Offered LE Citizenship

As has been previously reported, the FALE would ask the Government to offer Sirx citizenship upon qualification. The Chacorian is reported to have accepted.

Big Pimento

02-11-2004, 01:32

Tired of Losing
Uninspired play sees Big Pimento lose. Again. Pimento F.A. place want ad for new manager.

You name it, football juggernauts, average sides and non-RPing n00bs, what do they all have in common? They've all beaten Big Pimento. After becoming one of the success stories from the last World Cup, this team has managed to slip back into the relative obscurity they came out of. The most recent kick in the nuts to Big Pimento's pride came in the form of a 1-0 loss to Myrulesia. Yes, the very same Myrulesia who had one point coming into Matchday 10.

Big Pimento's football association could not stand idly by for much longer and the casuality for the team's recent string of futility was Wally Wonkstein. Wonkstein exceeded expectations in the inaugurual World Cup as Big Pimento went 2-5-7 in their first participation in international football, causing some major upsets in the process. Big Pimento's success continued as they rolled off a few more upsets in the Cup of Harmony. That solid performance saw the worst rated team in the entire cup capture a 3rd place finish.

The Pimentos carried some of that momentum with them to the 18th edition of the World Cup as they won two of their first three matches. Most notably was a 3-0 pummeling given to Magnus Valerius, the team which shafted them on the final matchday 4-1 to ensure the wooden spoon wopuld be inscribed with the Pimentos' names four years prior. However, despite their early success, Big Pimento fell into a funk. 0-1-6 in their last seven would have been disappointing even for the Pimentos of yesteryear. After embarrasing losses to Magnus Valerius and Myrulesia in succession, someone had to be held accountable.

And so after the canning of Mr. Wonkstein, we're left to speculate on some of the candidates to come in and clean up the mess Wonkstein left behind. Here are a few of the local boys we think may be worth a gander.

Karl Klune: Klune was the former manager for powerhouse Karlsberg United until he was fired after many veterans got on his case and complained to upper management. Klune is tough as nails, commands respect and has a real military style of leadership. His conditioning programs are legendary, he'll take the sorryiest bunch of footballers you've ever seen and turn them into lean mean, kicking, heading and tackling machines in a few months time. Players hate him, yet respect him in a sick sorta way since he gets results. His tough style could be what this team needs to turn it around.

Morrie Gregory: Gregory could be described as the antithesis of Klune as he's a real player's manager. Former bench boss for the Robertsville Rovers, he brought them up from the second division to consistant midtablers in the Pimento Primera League. He's a real nice guy who rotates the captainship to all his players in different games as he feels giving one guy the captain's armband permanently makes the other players feel inferior. He's a brilliant offensive tactitan, finds kinks in the opposing team's defense and allows his players to play freely and exploit them. Goals have been hard to come by for the Pimentos so far and Gregory should be well worth a look.

Dr. Pietro Vesacuchi: Vesacuchi is a young manager who's currently with the Jacoby United team. Vesacuchi understands his players very well and is known for having fit squads as he has a Ph.D. in sports psychology as well as a Bachelor's degree in Kinestheology. Though he's not the most brilliant tactian the game has ever seen, he's a great leader and knows how to get the most out of his players. Vesacuchi's motivational techniques could be exactly what the doctor ordered for Big Pimento's football programme.

The Big Pimento Football Association have said that they will scour and screen managers locally and from abroad in order to find the best possible candidate to be the successor to Mr. Wonkstein. In the event that no manager is found before Big Pimento's next match against Dance 2 Revolution, the Pimento F.A. have annouced that assistant coach Jim Donahue will assume the position of manager on an interim basis.

Aquiliana

02-11-2004, 04:19

Sonovian Matchday report
Happy Healthcare Haven

Ah, the Sonova match. A time for tired veterans to rest, and for benched youngsters to get some playing time. Coach Ed, after playing the first 20 minutes with 2 subs in already, then substituted in every backup player he could. As a result, the starters got to watch their backups play, and the backups got to score. The only one who didn't come out supremely happy was goalkeeper Stocus Marmoreus, who led the team of 4 years ago to the quarterfinals and wasn't too pleased with his defense's efforts against Sonova in one of his only opportunities to play in a match.

Nevertheless, a win's a win, and the Falcons will be looking to pick up another tomorrow night against The Evil Umpire in their last home match of the qualifiers. Aquiliana only needs 6 points to lock up a qualifying spot, and a win would put them halfway there.

Final Score:
Aquiliana 4 (Grinniman 15, Saluber 35, DeSultinus 44, Flagrantia 61)
Sonova 2 (73, 86)

The Gameday Report

The Evil Umpirian team came out hard the last match, catching the Falcons off guard somewhat, and managing to pull out a 1-1 draw. The players are reportedly training harder than ever to regain their honor after losing 2 points to an "inferior team". There should be a huge turnout, as this will be the fans' last chance to see their national team play at home.

Predictions:

Drew - Aquiliana 3-1
Mitch - Draw 1-1
Curt - Aquiliana 2-0

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Liverpool England 10 10 0 0 29 8 21 30
2 Aquiliana 10 6 2 2 25 11 14 20
3 Starblaydia 10 6 1 3 17 9 8 19
4 Halfassedstates 10 4 1 5 17 19 -2 13
5 The Evil Umpire 10 3 2 5 11 15 -4 11
6 Nova Britannicus 10 2 3 5 14 21 -7 9
7 The Latin Union 10 1 4 5 11 18 -7 7
8 Sonova 10 1 1 8 9 32 -23 4

MATCH SCHEDULE

MD1: Aquiliana 2-2 Nova Brittanicus (Cärnirässe National, AC Igneas)
MD2: Aquiliana 1-2 Liverpool England (Belua Memorial Field, Nidola FC)
MD3: Aquiliana 5-0 Sonova (Doma Artola, Farca City)
MD4: The Evil Umpire 1-1 Aquiliana
MD5: Aquiliana 2-1 The Latin Union (Vivarium Sciunti, Sciuntus FC)
MD6: Aquiliana 3-1 Starblaydia (Altissima National, Altissima)
MD7: Aquiliana 3-0 Halfassedstates (Inexpugna, Ubertas FC)
MD8: Nova Brittanicus 0-3 Aquiliana
MD9: Liverpool England 2-1 Aquiliana
MD10: Sonova 2-4 Aquiliana
MD11: Aquiliana vs. The Evil Umpire (Stadia Cuperta, Nova Malta FC)
MD12: The Latin Union vs. Aquiliana
MD13: Starblaydia vs. Aquiliana (Hallad City Stadium, Hallad Reavers)
MD14: Halfassedstates vs. Aquiliana

Sarzonia

02-11-2004, 04:33

Stars can't top 'Heights', 1-1

The Sarzonian national team was beginning to feel a sense of urgency. They came into the home match against third place Commerce Heights four points out of the third and final World Cup berth. The Stars came in wanting a win to cut the gap between the teams to one point heading into a match against eighth seeded Legalese.

Unfortunately, except for a Darwin Russell conversion from the spot in the 33rd minute, the Stars couldn't dent the back of the net and the usually stout defense betrayed goalkeeper Troy Perkins in the 18th minute, leaving the Stars to settle for one point and keep the 15th ranked team in the world within hailing distance.

"We had our chances to win this game," Coach Dave Wilson said. "We have to start doing a better job of winning the games we should win and this is one of those games."

The match against Legalese promises to be much more than a tune up match for the Stars (4-3-3, 15 points). The Stars lost to Legalese in the opening match for the country's national stadium 5-2. The team said it wouldn't forget the lessons they learned from that match.

"There are no training matches for this team in the World Cup," forward and team captain Brian Wilson said. "We're not going to let that happen again. I'm not going to let this team lose focus. Mark my words."

Liverpool England

02-11-2004, 04:38

MD9: Liverpool England 1-2 Aquiliana

I won 2-1, not lost ;)

Melmond

02-11-2004, 05:55

Makinshakes Presents...
The Ketchup Times
Now you can eat your fries and read the latest news around Melmond!

Fearless Farmers Bogey Against The Gulf States
Despite being on top of the standings of Group 9, there has been talk of the Fearless Farmers underacheiving in this group. After all, this is the group claimed by almost all the pundits for Melmond to dominate. On paper they clearly outclass all their opponents. However, there is a reason they play the football match. Nothing is a given in football, other than long-winded introductions to the review of a match from Melmondian reporters. Frankndottir Stadium in picturesque Acosta was sold out for this match against The Gulf States. The Gulf States have been relative overachievers as of late and hope to keep the momentum going against Melmond. However, at the beginning of the match, it was clear that Melmond had the momentum as the Fearless Farmer attack was on rapid fire. Unfortunately, this ended up being the match of a career for The Gulf States goalkeeper Felix Johnson, who basically pulled acrobatic saves out of his patootie to keep a goose egg on the scoreboard for the Fearless Farmers. The match was scoreless at the first half thanks to the great play of Felix Johnson and the suffocating Melmond defence. However, Melmond's goose egg would crack early in the second half as Melmond midfielder Peeko Noodleschlausen finds fellow midfielder Jake Cormier well ahead of his marker. Noodleschlausen then makes the leading pass in which Cormier converts to put Melmond up 1-nil. However, the Melmond defence got into foul trouble as the referee Richard Griffin of Fmjphoenix started to be rather strict with the physical Melmond defence, with captain Jonsi Torrini and Charles Unne getting yellow cards from the referee for challenges in which the referee seemed to allow earlier. On a foul call on Trav Strachan, The Gulf States got a free kick. The Gulf States midfielder Carlos Cedeno took the honours for the free kick, shot it over the Melmond wall and past Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm. The Gulf States got their equaliser and the match will end in a one all time much to the chagrin of the Fearless Farmer Faithful.

Melmond Makes Oceaice Walk the Plank
It was a meeting of two struggling sides in Oceaice National Stadium. One team, Melmond, is only figuratively struggling as they are tops in the group but expected to dominated a group deemed as rather lowly and weak. Oceaice, however, is literally struggling as they are really failing to capitalize on their last minute entry in World Cup qualifying. Oceaice had a very good start in this match, as within ten minutes of the match, Oceaice was able to convert a corner as midfielder Aurélien Chedjou was able to mop up Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm's deflection and give Oceaice the early 1-nil lead. However, any good play from the Pirates of Oceaice would halt at that moment as they appeared to used up their talent tank by the 11th minute. Feeding off the their own frustration, the Fearless Farmers just decided to really show up and take charge of the match. Two quick goals were scored back to back in the mid part of the first half. First was Melmond midfielder Critandi Unne, taking advantage of an inadvertent screen by an Oceaice defender, affecting the field of vision of Oceaice goalkeeper Jaky Leglib. Unne gets Melmond's first goal and ties up the match at one. Then five minutes later, Melmond striker Ojfssnsj Xrnym took a pass from a streaking Tim Remans after the Oceaice defence overcommitted on stopping his scoring attempt and Xrnym nailed the ball on the top right corner to give Melmond the 2-1 lead. Melmond would get their third goal right before the end of the first half as the exciting Melmond midfielder Jake Cormier was able to kick in a low cross from fellow midfielder Alfred Smith for Melmond to take the 3-nil lead. During the second half, Melmond played more of a keep away style of play and Manager David Bixler put in some of their more agile players in the match. However, staying in the match was Melmond striker Tim Remans, who kicked in a pass from midfielder Jake Cormier to give Melmond the 4-1 lead, which would end up being the final of the game as Melmond succeeded in proving that they are not underachievers on this night.

Fearless Farmer Defence Dominates EL CID THE HERO In Revenge Match
This was a match that the Melmond National Team desperately wanted to win and prove a point. Despite the convincing 4-1 victory over Oceaice, some pundits and many Melmondians saw the team as underacheivers. Melmond has only had one loss, at the hands of EL CID THE HERO in an embarrassing 3-1 defeat. EL CID THE HERO was the opponent, and the schedulers must have foresaw the importance of this match as it was scheduled to be played in the nation's premier stadium in the nation's capital city: Melmond Bowl in Melmond City. EL CID THE HERO tried to get the attack going early on the notoriously meatgrinding Melmond defence, but EL CID THE HERO was ground into the pitch by the Melmond defence. Admittedly, some of the tactics used by the Melmond defence were questionable, but with Binky McGee of Starblaydia refereeing this match, they really had no problems. However, the Melmond attack looked rather anemic as they never really found or created the opportunities to score a strong goal. EL CID THE HERO didn't have to work too hard to stop the Melmond attack. The first half ended scoreless. The crowd was getting restless as the second half went on without a dent in the scoreboard. That was until the 77th minute, where a solid shot by Melmond midfielder Alfred Smith was deflected out of bounds by the EL CID THE HERO goalkeeper. Melmond got the corner kick, and the veteran defender and captain of the Melmond National Team Jonsi Torrini, kicks his infamous Acosta-Audioslavia arc. It was kicked so perfectly that there was no chance for EL CID THE HERO to stop it. Torrini scores the first and only goal of the match as Melmond exacts their revenge.

Fmjphoenix

02-11-2004, 06:54

Fmjphoenix eliminated from Qualifying

Following todays loss against the unknown Qia team, the Vikings have been eliminated from any chance of making it into the qualifying round. Mike Nolan scored the lone goal for the Vikings at the seventy-eigth minute, but the Vikings could not get another goal to get in and ended up losing 1-2. Now Fmjphoenix is going to be home to play The Eagles Nest, but do not expect them to give up. THey plan on playing their asses off to try and pull an upset and disrupt the plans of all the other teams left vying for qualification
________________________________________________________________

Call-ups in order

The coaching staff for the Fmjphoenix Vikings reportedly have been looking into signing players out of other various leagues within the Kingdom of Fmjmphoenix. The coaches did not elaborate on who they are looking at, but said stay tuned and pay attention for future lists of the possible team for World Cup XIX or any other tournaments before then.

The Lowland Clans

02-11-2004, 10:00

Graham City Sun
Stars use two disappointing losses as fuel for crushing Lykaian scum

Pontoon Perry, Resident Sports Expert and All around azzhole
Well ladies and gents, and don't believe it. We actually beat Lykaia. Especially after those rather humilitaing defeats to Malundia and Somalialand. But I think we've got our qualification spot sown up, despite the idiots at the ASFA, who chose the, while quite talented but not as talented as Preston, less talented manager of the bunch to led our beloved team into battle. Though I do admire the way at which he rallied the troops to absolutely crush the Lykaian scum, who resorted to having an affair with Margaret to bolster their chances. Scumbags. Infact, I think we should invade them. And while we are at it, Somalialand as well. Heck, I could probably beat Somalialand with my pinky. Anyways, back on topic.

The Stars played an excellent game last night, and bettered the efforts of the puny [Ed.: For the love of all things sacred and holy WE GET THE I-FREAKING-DEA!] Lykaians by at least a factor of three. Once again our power midfield dominated the play, with Pavel Julios having an excellent game, despite his age. His goal in the fifty-seventh was a great piece of workmanship and ball handling skills, and showed that this guy knows how to handle the ball. Despite the low scoreline, the defence had rarely had anything to do all night, with the forwards and midfield handling most of the game. What surprised me most is the eighty-three percent ball possesion stat. I mean, that's just flipping insane! But they're the Lykaians, so who really cares.

Next game we got the Masseratis, and we can see if they can do something other than make cars...excuse while I snicker to myself. Ah, that felt good. Well, hey should be a challenging team, but we should beat 'em.

I'm off for now!

-Pontoon Perry

Maserrat

02-11-2004, 11:06

Victory Lifts Maserrat To Fifth

With nine points from their last five games, Maserrat seem to have finally found their feet in international waters. An easy 4-2 victory against Maldunia, the latest in a string of excellent results, has lifted the Dynamos up into 5th place, and Karpova insists that they are not out of the running yet.

"If we can get a win out of the Lowland Clans tonight, we will be only two points behind them. If results go our way against Lykaia and the (finally extinct) Somalialand, who knows what could happen - we may even sneak the third place spot, although of course my target is fourth with fifteen points or more."

Maserrat look set to reach their target of fifteen points now, with four games left and only three points needed (the game against Somalialand the obvious place to get them), and could perhaps exceed it with another shock against The Lowland Clans tonight. TLC have been on a dismal run of form of late, losing to Maldunia and Somalialand. However, a win against Lykaia has lifted their morale, and they will be ready for tonight's game. With TLC's ranking and Maserat's late run of form, it's too close to call. Expect a decent match today!

Jeruselem

02-11-2004, 13:47

Jeruselem Government News

Spaam gets the chop, again

Jeruselem met the once might Spaam again and this time Spaam really needed to win to lift itself off the bottom of Group 1. Jeruselem needed the win to keep alive the hope of gaining 3rd position. All in all it was a critical game.

It had everything including drama, goals and controversy. The result was not a draw, but a vital win for Jeruselem to move into 3rd as rivals stumbled. While Spaam showed the fight and vigour it needed earlier against other teams, the misfiring Jeruselem attack drew the sword and slew Spaam beast. They were sharp and clinical finishing proved the difference as Spaam tried to finish the game for itself but nothing went right for them.

Spaam's poor form with draws to "lesser" teams and the losses to Jeruselem have left them 7th. Slaikau got belted by Iansisle and Smoking Pits pushed Wapahkoneta away 3-2.

There are four games left, and the top 2 are secure. 5 teams can still take the 3rd spot. On current form Spaam, need to win all games to have realistic chance.

Group 1
Slaikau 2-5 Iansisle
Jeruselem 3-2 Spaam
New Dubai 1-3 Crystilakere
Wapahkoneta 2-3 Smoking Pits

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Iansisle 10 9 1 0 31 8 23 28
2 Crystilakere 10 6 2 2 24 15 9 20
3 Jeruselem 10 4 2 4 16 18 -2 14
4 Slaikau 10 3 4 3 19 17 2 13
5 Smoking Pits 10 2 5 3 11 17 -6 11
6 Wapahkoneta 10 2 3 5 10 17 -7 9
7 Spaam 10 1 5 4 10 16 -6 8
8 New Dubai 10 0 4 6 12 25 -13 4

Tadjikistan

02-11-2004, 16:51

Ready for revenge

Dushanbe - The humiliation in Audioslavia had to be washed away, and what better place to do it than in Vollmeria. The Vollmerians have not been doing very well and their football comite thinks of withdrawing its national team from the World Cups after the qualifications. But in the meantime, the Vollmerian devils continue playing, and in most cases losing, their matches. And this match was no difference from the rest.

Once the match started it became obvious who would win as the Tigers pressed their opponents back onto their own half. Tadjikistan kept probing the Vollmerian defense, looking for that one weak spot. Timoshenko almost found one, but his shot hit the left pole.
Gasparian recuperated the ball and kicked it into the right corner. For Tadjikistan it was the beginning of an artillery barrage that would lead them to victory.

Ten minutes and several good shots later the Tigers made the second goal when Zaev scored with the help of a Vollmerian defender whose leg was supposed to stop the ball. Zaev is playing good and has been offered a 3-year contract by Regar-TadAZ Tursunzade, Tadjikistans topclub and we know why. The young midfielder has definatly earned his place in the starting team.
Another young talent is Gasparian, brought into the team by Triandafillov and to the top by Cherniakhovskij. Against The Vollmerians he made the third goal, bringing them to 0-3. He still has a contract for another 2 years but Regar-TadAZ wont let him go, he's too good to be given away.

The last Tadjik goal of the match was written behind Timoshenko's name, when he beat the Vollmerian keeper with a shot under his legs. The assist came from Pliiev, who worked himself free on the left flank and found Timoshenko to his right. Not to hard for Pliiev, he plays in the same position at his club, SKA Pamir Dushanbe, with Timoshenko.

With 0-4 on the scoreboard Zhukov bsent in some replacements, knowing they had already won. He replaced Gasparian and Shvydkoi by Yudenich and Koshevoi. And the Vollmerians took full advantage of it. While the new players tried to work in the Vollmerians moved down the right flank, Zhigarov could not stop the attackers. Yashin came out of his goal and stopped them, but not their shot, that went over his head and into the goal. A late goal that 'saved their honor', but the move could not change the outcome. A clear 1-4 victory for the Tigers.

Tadjikistan reached the second position and is slowly fortifying it. The next two matches may be enough to get the qualification ticket. On Matchday 11, the Tigers will play against Avenging Altos at home. The Tigers have not forgotten their last encounter and want to get their revenge. And on Matchday 12, the Tigers play in Druida where they should take the three points. Hopefully the Rainbows lose their game in Audioslavia on MD11, it would make things much easier.

Group 3
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Audioslavia 10 9 0 1 28 3 25 27
2 Tadjikistan 10 6 0 4 25 16 9 18
3 Druida 10 5 2 3 16 14 2 17
4 Cockbill Street 10 4 4 2 17 12 5 16
5 Oaker 10 4 4 2 17 12 5 16
6 Avenging Altos 10 3 2 5 10 15 -5 11
7 Kipto-Mare 10 2 0 8 9 28 -19 6
8 Vollmeria 10 0 2 8 5 27 -22 2

MD1 :Tadjikistan - Kipto-Mare W 3-2
MD2 :Tadjikistan - Audioslavia L 0-2
MD3 :Tadjikistan - Vollmeria W 6-0
MD4 :Avenging Altos - Tadjikistan L 1-0
MD5 :Tadjikistan - Druida W 4-2
MD6 :Tadjikistan - Cockbill street W 3-1
MD7 :Tadjikistan - Oaker L 1-2
MD8 :Kipto-Mare - TadjikistanW 2-4
MD9 :Audioslavia - Tadjikistan L 3-0
MD10: Vollmeria - Tadjikistan W 1-4
MD11: Tadjikistan - Avenging Altos
MD12: Druida - Tadjikistan
MD13: Cockbill Street - Tadjikistan
MD14: Oaker - Tadjikistan

Sarzonia

02-11-2004, 17:03

Stars look to dim 'Legal' troubles

The Sarzonian national team is in a position they didn't expect to be in with four matches remaining in World Cup qualifying. They are facing a must-win match against eighth seeded Legalese at Timbers Stadium in Portland.

"We're not in a position to think draws. One [standings] point isn't going to do us any favors, particularly after giving away three points to that team," Coach Dave Wilson said. "If anyone on this team is not motivated to play this match, they need to stay home and don't bother coming to the stadium."

Legalese is currently in seventh place, mathematically eliminated from a World Cup finals appearance, but the Stars say they're not going to let that keep them from playing hard.

"We lost to this team previously, and we lost ugly," forward and team captain Brian Wilson said. "That [5-2 Legalese win] is going to be fresh on our minds at kickoff. We will be out for revenge."

The Stars had their most spirited practice of this World Cup, the team captain said.

"It reminded me of the [AOCAF third place match] against Xile," he said. "We're going to go in there and we're going to shoot for as big a win as we can get."

The team is four points behind Commerce Heights for the third and final World Cup qualifying position in Group 8. The team earned a 1-1 draw against Commerce Heights at Hendrix Stadium in Woodstock in their previous match.

"We need to make sure we take care of business in our matches," Dave Wilson said. "We can't go in scoreboard watching and hoping they lose. We have to take care of business ourselves."

-Somalia-

02-11-2004, 21:45

One Red Lose
By Somalia Press servie

The federal Republic of Somalialand seemingly has taken the Fight to maserrat and the fight to the 3 place finish, Unfourtunently Somalialand Now a Political as ever has decided to change its name from somalialand to somalia in a political way,

The goverment no longer fit the name and has decided to flip and a do a name change said one political analyst,

Also The Goverment happy about the One red dot's Lose to the Most Interresting team ever to come out of Africa, We shall see today's Match said one Sport analyst who eagerly said that A maserrat Lose Could Get to the Top of the third place and win a Qualyfing Position on the world cup

Somalialand has now being changed to suit the more democratic world and it has changed from absolute rule of the majority to the rule of every people.

Sarzonia

02-11-2004, 22:21

Stars dismiss Legalese 3-0

Portland, Somerset (ASP) -- Facing the same Legalese team that beat it 5-2 earlier in the World Cup, the Sarzonian national team needed little extra motivation to defeat the eighth seeded team. The fact the team is currently four points out of World Cup qualifying position with three matches to go added to the incentive for the team.

The team responded to the sense of urgency that Coach Dave Wilson preached as the team left the locker room and convincingly beat Legalese, 3-0 in front of 31,428 at Timber Stadium.

"We knew how important this match was, particularly with the result in Legalese," Wilson said. "If we lost this match, we would have been still alive mathematically, but realistically, we wouldn't have deserved to move on to the finals."

Forward Brian Wilson made good on his promise not to let his team lose, scoring all three goals against hapless Legalese goalkeeper Tommy Walters. Stars goalkeeper Troy Perkins made four saves for the clean sheet.

"The next match [against Liechtenistan] is going to be a must-win for us," Brian Wilson said. "We've got two brutal matches following that, away to Rejistania and hosting Lovisa and we're going to need as many points as we can get."

The Stars (5-3-3, 18 points) are four points behind third place Commerce Heights and five points behind second place Lovisa for a spot in the World Cup. Commerce Heights hosts Rejistania and Lovisa in their next two matches before wrapping up qualifying with an away match against Northbank. Lovisa travels to last place Spalatium before their visit to Commerce Heights.

"It looks like it's going to go right down to the wire," Dave Wilson said. "Hope you brought your Maalox."

Bedistan

02-11-2004, 22:23

Matchday 11 scores have been posted. (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7386844&posted=1#post7386844)

Starblaydia

02-11-2004, 23:36

Second Spot Regained
Starblaydia Eliminate Britannicans, 100%ers Await

Starblaydia had to come from behind twice in their home match against neighbours Nova Britannicus in a jam-packed Bekkside Derby at the home of the Starblaydi Alpha Division Champions. Iskara Daii's Foundation Road Stadium saw the return of its long-lost sons Simeone and Roberto Di Bradini, who both came back with a bang.

For once a good-old four-four-two was in evidence for Starblaydia, counter-balanced by the three-two-five of Nova Britannicus. For the very beginning the Navy-Blues were in dreamland as their Captain, defender John Bowman, scored in the first five minutes. After winning the first corner of the match for Nova Britannicus, Dean Caliban whipped in the ball from the right-hand flag. With a panicky headed clearance from Paul Nicholson, John Bowman arrived on the edge of the penalty area to guide home a right-footed volley through a sea of legs.

On the half hour it fell to Simeone Di Bradini to rifle a half-volley into the back of the net. Eomer Hall's flick on with his head was perfectly wieghted, and SDB's right-footer was smashed home for the equaliser. Dean Caliban, having helped make the first goal, managed one of his own with a mazy run past Paulo Bachchan and a shot that would need a protractor to figure out how tight the angle was. Starblaydia couldn't equalise in the remaining few minutes and so went in at the break 2-1 down.

Lord Van Honjiik was said to be seen entering the Home Dressing Room during Half-Time, as if Starblaydia needed another managerial rocket up their backsides. Something good must have happened during the break, and it wasn't just oranges or pizza.

Starblaydia came out and banged in two in the first five minutes which won the match for them, although they didnt know it at the time. Michael Hawthorne's second of the campaign was an absolute screamer from around twenty-five yards, fired across the face of goal as he broke into the box after a fine pass from Roberto Di Bradini.

Less than a minute later Simeone Di Bradini put Starblaydia into the lead for the first time in the game, on 50 minutes. Tetuso Naoki's diagonal through-ball split the Britannican defence in two and Simeone Di Bradini burst through onto it and fired it into the roof of the net for three-two.

There were more than a few chances in the rest of the match, but Rodriguez Da Silva held out and Starblaydia chalked up their fifth win in a row. Next, however, are eleven-in-a-row Liverpool England, the one team in eighty that have won all of their games so far.

'This is certainly going to be a tough match for us,' said Manager Guylain N'Dumbu-Nsungu, 'but there's no better time to be playing them. We're five on the bounce and at home in the Jader Barbalho, Starblaydia biggest Stadium. We'll give 'em hell.'

Starblaydi Goal Tally
Player WC18Q Goals Total Goals
----------------------------------------
S. Di Bradini 7 31
E. Hall 3 18
T. Naoki 2 14
M. Hawthorne 2 4
A. Ol-wairain 1 11
G. Berisha 1 7
J. Stark 1 6
K. Carter 1 3
J. Durand 1 2
P. Bachchan 1 1

Final Score From Foundation Road:
Starblaydia 3 - 2 Nova Britannicus
(S Di Bradini 31 & 50, Hawthorne 49) - (J Bowman 5, Caliban 42)

The Eagles Nest

03-11-2004, 01:34

TEN Needs 2 Points To Qualify

2-1 Win Over Fmjphoenix;Match Against KP Will Qualify One Team

The Strike Birds took care of business today as they defeated Fmjphoenix 2-1. Secour scored a goal in each half, while Nest keeper Gregor let a late goal by to allow the 2-1 margin. However, the Nest has put its full attention to Kaze Progessa. The match is critical for both teams, as any win in the qualification run will push that team into qualification. A tie will nearly lock both but will not clinch. Both can qualify regardless of the result if Snub Nose 38 loses one more match on it's run.

The team left for Kaze Progressa today with large boxes of equipment. The game is scheduled ot play 6 pm local Nest time.

Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Kaze Progressa 11 9 1 1 30 10 20 28 37
2 The Eagles Nest 11 9 0 2 29 14 15 27 36
3 Krytenia 11 7 1 3 20 11 9 22 31
4 Snub Nose 38 11 6 2 3 21 12 9 20 29
E Spurland 11 2 4 5 10 16 -6 10 19
E Fmjphoenix 11 2 3 6 13 21 -8 9 18
E Qia 11 2 2 7 15 26 -11 8 17
E Ashibot 11 0 1 10 6 34 -28 1 10

The Eagle's Nest Strike Bird Qualification Run
Matchday 1: The Eagle's Nest vs. Ashibot Win 3-0
Matchday 2: The Eagle's Nest @ Krytenia Win 3-1
Matchday 3: The Eagle's Nest vs. Spurland Win 3-1
Matchday 4: The Eagle's Nest @ Fmjphoenix Win 2-1
Matchday 5: The Eagle's Nest vs. Kaze Progressa Loss 1-2
Matchday 6: The Eagle's Nest @ Snub Nose 38 Loss 2-4
Matchday 7: The Eagle's Nest vs. Qia Win 6-2
-----------------------------------------------------
Matchday 8: The Eagle's Nest @ Ashibot Win 3-2
Matchday 9: The Eagle's Nest vs. Krytenia Win 1-0
Matchday 10: The Eagle's Nest @ Spurland Win 3-0
Matchday 11: The Eagle's Nest vs. Fmjphoenix Win 2-1
Matchday 12: The Eagle's Nest @ Kaze Progressa
Matchday 13: The Eagle's Nest vs. Snub Nose 38
Matchday 14: The Eagle's Nest @ Qia

Nova Britannicus

03-11-2004, 02:44

The Novan Daily News
Distrubted in Tuncastle, Widdrington, Montepool, Hernsworth, Foxchester and Beverington
Navy-Blues Eliminated by Starblaydia

By Rupert Smythe, our man in Jhanna

In the most prestigious match Nova Britannicus have participated in, perhaps ever, was contested at Foundation Road yesterday, with Nova Britannicus unluckily on the wrong end of a 3-2 victory for Starblaydia.

Captain John Bowman and Winger Dean Caliban both got on the scoresheet for Nova Britannicus, but were sunk by two from Simeone Di Bradini and a rare goal by Michael Hawthorne. John Bowman managed to steer the ball through a crowd of players, while Dean Caliban threaded the ball along the goal-line, shaving the near post and rebounding off the far post into the net.

And so, the Navy-Blues adventure will go no further than the qualifiers. Not that we'd expected much different, of course. Alas, we can barely finish fourth, let alone in the hallowed top three. We do't really mind, of course, and will certainly take to supporting Starblaydia, assuming they manage to Qualify for the Bedistan/Eauz Finals.

Goals:
S. Di Bradini 31 5 J. Bowman
Stark 49 42 Caliban
S. Di Bradini 50
Bookings:
Bachchan 29 83 C. Bowman
R. Di Bradini 65
Salisbury 73

Cockbill Street

03-11-2004, 08:29

Night-Mare for Kipto-Mare
We're Just Waiting For The Crash

Believe it or not, the Street is unbeaten in their last five qualifying matches, and have suddenly been involved in a fight that is more close than trying to get tickets for the Streetians' next match against big rivals Audioslavia. Having won four and drawn one of their last five games, the Streetians are tied on points and goal difference with Tadjikistan, who recorded a disappointing 0-0 draw with Avenging Altos - a team now in permanent jeopardy as their home mysteriously disappeared. A comprehensive four-nil victory, led by new call-up from R'dhuz'lith K'druz'ba Olaf Heimfoething (given a chance due to R'dhuz'lith's magnificent domestic season), yesterday against Kipto-Mare certainly increased the chances of a packed National for the Audioslavia game.

The Streetians, boosted by actually managing to score three goals against Oaker and a four-game winning streak, for once fought like a team on a mission - to get to the World Cup. That was good to see, although the team itself required a bit of luck to get ahead - Chalcedony chested in a corner kick from Heimfoething to give the Streetians 1-0 in the eleventh minute. Kipto-Mare, dismayed by their own performance and scared of the intimidating figure 19 (the Streetian rank), never actually managed to rally very well, and kept being pushed back into their own half. Benny Cribbage scored a beautiful free kick just before half-time to give the Streetians a well-deserved 2-0 going into the break.

Kipto-Mare looked even more devastated coming out of the dressing room, and they looked more like kids having been given a good solid hiding than a football team. As a result, the Streetians had it easy, and the rest of the game became shooting practice - unfortunately with poor results, as both Olafsson and Axewielder missed simple shots on goal. Olaf Heimfoething, the young recruit from the Compound League, was the only one showing some worth as he scored two goals in the second half - one with a very nice dribble through the centre of the defense and the other one a tap-in from four metres.

The young dwarf said after the match that "I was honestly very pleased with my performance today - I think the team did a very good job and we scored four goals, can't do better than that. Now we've got the two best teams in the group coming up, Audioslavia and Tajikistan, and if we can take three or four points from those two games I think this qualifying will be in the bag for us. It's been a long, tough road, and it's been painful for all the Streetian fans, including myself - but I think that we're on the up and staying up."

Helen Carpenter of the Department of Sports agreed, saying that "we need the full support of Cockbill Street in the National. Therefore, we have put down ticket prices to some of the seats, so that we get a full National - this team deserves it, they've worked so hard in digging themselves out of a very difficult position early on."

Cockbill Street XI: Havell 5 - Gunter 5, Cribbage 5 (L Fearinciter on 71), Walker 6 - Howard 7 - Minedigger 6, Heimfoething 6, Axewielder 6, Underwood 7 - Wharton 5, Chalcedony 6

COCKBILL STREET 4 (Chalcedony 11, Cribbage 43, Heimfoething 61, 78)
KIPTO-MARE 0

Liverpool England

03-11-2004, 10:22

Just Amazing: 11-0-0

Liverpool England today defeated The Latin Union to go an incredible 11-for-11 in the qualifying race. Sirx, who has accepted Liverpool England citizenship and gotten a new name of Ralph [his full name is now, amazingly, Ralph Sirx], led the team to a relatively easy victory. However, he knows the difficulty of the next match against Starblaydia, and he told reporters he expected to lose the 100% record with a draw. He also revealed that he would make 5 changes to the relatively unchanged team throughout qualifying.

Rejistania

03-11-2004, 10:32

"We will be invincible" (maybe not)

The second match of the Orange-Blues against the "Invincibles" of Northbank ended with a 5:0 for the visitors. It was a good thing that this match was an away game for the Orange-Blues. The rejistanian national team qualified for sure with this win, which is the reason why the KaMaRi Update was not issued within the last days*: people were celebrating on the streets more than after a normal victory of the Orange-Blues. Foreigners might consider it highly strange that in a country, where high-class soccer of the national team is common, qualification is such a big thing, but the reasons are not only historically (the Orange-Blues in World Cup 9 missed qualification by a slight bit) but also in human nature ("Let's party, who cares about the reasons!").

In the match in Northbank, the Orange-Blues finally had a good start and gained dominance early. Coach SyLy decided against a System Karela and for a System Imdila. "Sa" had a very good day and by that ruined the day for the northbank scoreboard operators. After his hat trick (which was no "hetrika" in the rejistani meaning), the scoreboard BSODed and for the rest of the match, was out of function. But even when it worked, it did show ambigous data: It listed "Y" as scorer but did not state whether it was Ji Y or Jenji Y. When the stadium speaker confirmed the final score and tried to pronounce "rejistaniha mi'la'kanvali" (Rejistania qualified), something started which was either described as "normal celebration" or "major riot". Coach SyLy later told reporters: "Northbank played 'Invincible' of 'Pat Benatar', apparently for Northbank. But since rejistanis associate this song with world cup 12, we were highly motivated - and maybe that helped us winning that highly."

The result:
Northbank 0
Rejistania 5 (Harakemindanutikejil 25th 48th 74th, Ji Y 37th, Jenji Y 90+2th)

Factoid of the day: The expressions "System Imdila" and "System Hangila" were created by Ha~e Hangila and Hexen Imdila as slightly depretiating expressions for the tactic of the respective other. The intended conotation never came through and the expressions are either seen as neutral or as positive.

*OOC:OOCly blame maths

Jeruselem

03-11-2004, 14:15

Jeruselem Government News

Tug of war for Group 1 3rd spot continues

Spaam beat Smoking Pits 3-1 to revive their hopes while Jeruselem managed to waste a chance to take three points with a 2-2 draw against New Dubai. Other contenders for the position were soundly beaten by the top 2 as expected.

New Dubai had not won a game but it's 5th draw proved troublesome for Jeruselem. Jeruselem need a win to put space between it and the others but only managed the point. A NEW Spaam showed what it should have done earlier smothering the Smoking Pits for it's second win. In this form, they can take 3rd providing they win 2 of the last 3 games.

When asked about Jeruselem's situation, coach David Becks said "It always happens to us, finishing 4th or 5th when we need to be 3rd. I hope things change this world cup"

Group 1
Iansisle 3-0 Wapahkoneta
Spaam 3-1 Smoking Pits
Crystilakere 4-1 Slaikau
Jeruselem 2-2 New Dubai

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Iansisle 11 10 1 0 34 8 26 31
2 Crystilakere 11 7 2 2 28 16 12 23
3 Jeruselem 11 4 3 4 18 20 -2 15
4 Slaikau 11 3 4 4 20 21 -1 13
5 Spaam 11 2 5 4 13 17 -4 11
6 Smoking Pits 11 2 5 4 12 20 -8 11
7 Wapahkoneta 11 2 3 6 10 20 -10 9
8 New Dubai 11 0 5 6 14 27 -13 5

Audioslavia

03-11-2004, 15:06

Crouching Tigers, Hidden Goalie
'Slaves thump Tadjikistan

Audioslavia scored a comprehensive and impressive victory at home over Tadjikistan 3-0 thanks to goals from the team's rising stars Ally McLlroy, Oliver Dannes and Arie Jansen.

Buoyed on by the partisan crowd in the Soundgardian National Arena, the 'slaves raced into a two goal lead within the first half hour and never really looked back. Dannes beat tiger defender Gromov for pace on eighteen minutes and rifled a low shot past Yashin for the first before McLlroy converted a Rijsbergen cross on twenty-six minutes to give the 'slaves a cushion.

The Tigers were only allowed to show flashes of their own talent, being mostly kept at bay by an energetic Audioslavia side, the most confident a 'slavian side has possibly ever been.

Tadjikistan's best chance came early in the second half as young forward Gasparian collected a throughball, nutmegged Romanov and went to finish past Andersson, only to see his shot hit the foot of the post and bounce out for a goal-kick.

With time running out for Tadjikistan they pushed on to try and salvage something from the game, replacing full-back Egorov with another 16 year old striker, Koshevoi. Six minutes after coming on Koshevoi hit a good shot from eighteen yards which was charged down by Johnstone and Audioslavia went on the counter. Fox flicked the ball out to the wing to Arie Jansen. With the two 'slavian strikers ahead of him and just three Tadjikistan defenders back, Jansen dummied the pass to McLlroy and instead used his pace to nip down the wing, cut inside and finish the ball into the roof of the net, evading the grasp of an outstretched Lev Yashin.

FINAL SCORE
Audioslavia 3 (Dannes 18, McLlroy 26, Jansen 73)
Tadjikistan 0

Altos Almost Avenge
'Slaves nick the points in AA

Many critics expected a walkover against one of group 3's struggling sides, especially after the big wins against Vollmeria and Tadjikistan, but the match was anything but. Played at a frightening pace and a frightening pitch (at least seventeen octaves above what is strictly necessary for a home crowd) Avenging Altos scared Audioslavia's defenders on numerous occasions, bringing two saves out of Redbank and hitting the woodwork three times in the first half.

With AA taking the first half on points they went on to try and find that knockout blow in the second half, but it was to be their undoing early on as an attack broke down, Jaynes broke on the left and crossed in for Ally McLlroy to grab the first, and only, goal of the game. Avenging Altos didn't give in immediately, striking back with a wicked shot which put Redbank at full stretch to tip it over the bar, but the Altos tired towards the end and Audioslavia could hold on for the victory

FINAL SCORE
Avenging Altos 0
Audioslavia 1 (McLlroy 50)

Druids Left Looking Sheepish
'Slaves gain revenge for earlier defeat
Team continues brilliant form

Audioslavia tought the world a lesson in how to take revenge yesterday, getting the Druids back for their earlier 2-1 defeat of Audioslavia to batter them 4-0 in Soundgardia. The 'slaves fielded a full-strength line up with the two golden boys Dannes and McLlroy being supported by Ally Marriot. Arie Jansen took up his position on the left wing, with Rijsbergen on the right and Fox in the middle. The defence saw Crevan at left back, Romanov and Johnstone as centre-halves and Kerry McFarland at right back, with Andersson in goal.

The 'slaves started strongly but it was the Rainbows who got the first chance on goal, Urk breaking through a gap in the defence but having his shot blocked by the advancing Andersson. Urk saw a couple of efforts go awry as Druida pressed, but then Audioslavia counter-attacked, Rijsbergen played the ball cross-field to Jansen, Jansen nodded it down to McLlroy who hit a beautiful curling shot past Trefor 'not so stretch' Edwards only to see the ball rebound off the bar. Dannes was there, however, to clean up the rebound and put Audioslavia a goal to the good.

Ten minutes later, the game was pretty much all over. Audioslavia pressed on hard scored a second through a McLlroy header, before Jansen was brought down in the area by an awful challenge from Thunk. Marriot converted the penalty and the 'slaves were three up by half time.

The first five minutes of the second half saw Audioslavia further extend their lead with McLlroy grabbing his second with a diving header at the far post, before Druida, believing they were bloodied but not beaten, started to step up a gear. It seemed that every Druida player had a decent shot on goal apart from the ones that had an 'F' in their first name, basically meaning Urk and Thunk both had efforts saved. Despite the pressure, the Rainbows were never going to get back any of the four-goal deficit and, with both sides tiring out in the Soundgardian heat, the match ended with the emphatic 4-0 scoreline

FINAL SCORE
Audioslavia 4 (Dannes 27 - McLLroy 32, 48 - Marriot 36pen)
Druida 0 (Urk, never)

Last seven 'slavia games: Twenty-Two goals without reply
Audioslavia already qualified, in the best form of the team's history.

Huge wins over Cockbill Street, Kipto Mare, Vollmeria, Tadjikistan and Druida have seen Audioslavia's best attacking record in history matched by their best defensive record in history. The 'slaves have never gone this long without conceding a goal (although they went thirteen games in world cup thirteen conceding only one goal) and have never had so many big winning margins in a row. At the moment, the group three table looks like this:

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Audioslavia 11 10 0 1 32 3 29 30
2 Tadjikistan 11 6 1 4 25 16 9 19
3 Cockbill Street 11 5 4 2 21 12 9 19
4 Oaker 11 4 5 2 19 14 5 17
5 Druida 11 5 2 4 16 18 -2 17
6 Avenging Altos 11 3 3 5 10 15 -5 12
7 Kipto-Mare 11 2 0 9 9 32 -23 6
8 Vollmeria 11 0 3 8 7 29 -22 3

Audioslavia are on top and already qualified, but the most interesting part of group three lies between places two and five. Tadjikistan and Cockbill Street have overcome some indifferent opening-days form (especially in the latter) and are both joint second in the two other qualification spots. However, Oaker and Druida aren't far behind on seventeen points apiece, and could threaten the two teams above them. The fixtures for each of these teams' last three games are:

| MD-12 MD-13 MD-14
---------------------------
TAD| a-DRU a-C.S a-OAK
C.S| h-aud h-TAD a-a.a
OAK| a-kip a-aud h-TAD
DRU h-TAD H-a.a a-vol

As you can see, it is Tadjikistan with by far the hardest run-in, having to face each of the sides battling for qualification away from home. Cockbill Street and Oaker both play a disgustingly in-form Audioslavia as well as the Tigers, whilst Druida possibly have the easiest run in. Even if they lose to Tadjikistan on MD12, they should beat Avenging Altos at home and Vollmeria away.

Predictions:

MD12
Druida 1-3 Tadjiksitan
Cockbill Street 0-1 Audioslavia
Oaker 1-1 Kipto Mare

MD13
Cockbill Street 3-2 Tadjikistan
Audioslavia 2-0 Oaker
Druida 1-1 Avenging Altos

MD14
Oaker 1-0 Tadjikistan
Avenging Altos 1-2 Cockbill Street
Vollmeria 1-2 Druida

2 Cockbill Street 14 7 4 3 26 16 10 22
3 Tadjikistan 14 7 1 6 30 21 9 22
4 Oaker 14 5 6 2 21 17 4 21
5 Druida 14 6 3 5 20 23 -3 21

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake, g'nite bitches.

Tadjikistan

03-11-2004, 15:26

Dissapointing Draw

Dushanbe - The Tadjikistan Tigers played Avenging Altos in Dushanbe, but the revenge they promised stayed out. Avenging Altos kept its nets clean and they took a point with them
. Even some good shots from Tadjikistans strikers could not change the outcome.
Zhukov reaction was clear:'Its a disaster, we must win in Druida to stay in second. And i Hope the Slaves beat Cockbill Street, giving us a safe distance for our match in Cockbill Street on Matchday 13' Offcourse we may not forget Oaker, 2 points behind Tadjikistan. Again, we must hope that they lose or draw against Audioslavia. These will be difficult matches for Tadjikistan.

Group 3

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Audioslavia 11 10 0 1 32 3 29 30
2 Tadjikistan 11 6 1 4 25 16 9 19
3 Cockbill Street 11 5 4 2 21 12 9 19
4 Oaker 11 4 5 2 19 14 5 17
5 Druida 11 5 2 4 16 18 -2 17
6 Avenging Altos 11 3 3 5 10 15 -5 12
7 Kipto-Mare 11 2 0 9 9 32 -23 6
8 Vollmeria 11 0 3 8 7 29 -22 3

MD1 :Tadjikistan - Kipto-Mare W 3-2
MD2 :Tadjikistan - Audioslavia L 0-2
MD3 :Tadjikistan - Vollmeria W 6-0
MD4 :Avenging Altos - Tadjikistan L 1-0
MD5 :Tadjikistan - Druida W 4-2
MD6 :Tadjikistan - Cockbill street W 3-1
MD7 :Tadjikistan - Oaker L 1-2
MD8 :Kipto-Mare - TadjikistanW 2-4
MD9 :Audioslavia - Tadjikistan L 3-0
MD10: Vollmeria - Tadjikistan W 1-4
MD11: Tadjikistan - Avenging Altos D 0-0
MD12: Druida - Tadjikistan
MD13: Cockbill Street - Tadjikistan
MD14: Oaker - Tadjikistan

Sarzonia

03-11-2004, 16:42

Stars set for final battles

The Sarzonian national team figured to be coasting right now. The team led Group 9 qualifying for World Cup 16 for eight of 10 matches before collapsing in back to back 2-0 away losses to the top two seeds. The team cruised to a third place finish in Group 9 of World Cup 17 qualifying before losing in extra time to then-fifth ranked Europa Brittania.

However, this Stars team has not been on cruise control. The team found itself in fifth place after the first leg of matches against the group concluded. The team had just lost to Lovisa for the third time in four matches, with the only bright spot against Lovisa being a draw.

"This has been a very different qualifying campaign, that's for sure," Coach Dave Wilson said. "Although to be fair, we struggled in the second half of qualifying the previous two times and we're on a modest run right now. Hopefully, that will help."

The Stars have won three of their past four matches, including a 1-1 draw against third place and second seed Commerce Heights. The team is facing a Liechtenistan side that has already been eliminated from World Cup qualifying contention, but Wilson cautioned the team not to look past them.

"We only won the previous match against them 1-0," midfielder Darwin Russell said. "They're coming off an ugly loss to Commerce Heights and we're going to have to expect them to get after us. We've got two brutal matches after this one and we can't afford to lose focus right now."

If the Stars were tired of hearing about their 5-2 loss to Legalese, they were being subjected to more talk of that match by Wilson.

"I want to make the point and keep making the point that we'll be in trouble if we go in expecting an easy match because they're out of the running," Wilson said. "If we lose, we could be out of the running before we even get to Rejistania."

The team would continue to play the 3-5-2 formation that the team played since Wilson "cleaned house," by benching defender Mike Coyle and goalkeeper Troy Perkins. Even though Perkins regained his starting spot one match later, Wilson said the team played better with the more offensive formation, so he would stay with it.

"We seem to play more steadily defensively when we play our 3-5-2," Wilson said. "[Defender Corey] Hemby is really a sweeper instead of a fullback so we probably put him in a better position with a three man backline.

"Offensively, we have to continue to work on possession and short passing. That's what helped us earn a draw against Rejistania at home. We're going to have to keep doing what we've been doing if we still want to have a chance to qualify."

Vilita

03-11-2004, 16:49

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/logo.gif
Jungle Cats Attack Lykaia
Vilita 6-4 Lykaia

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Vilita Goalscorers::
12' Germán Salomón
31' Mauro Baraza
43' Germán Salomón
55' Mauro Baraza
75' Germán Salomón
77' Enzo Ahat

Lykaia National Stadium, Lykaia City, Lykaia
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

Vilita Jungle Cats Report:: The Vilita Jungle Cats were enlightened by a resurgent Germán Salomón after the Forward was named to the starting squad to face the always tricky Lykaia Nation. Lykaia is most famous for manhandling star names such as Spaam and Liverpool England in a World Cup 16 group that would mark the demise of the once great Spaamian state. The Lykaians continued unbeaten until the final matches of qualification, but by that time group triumph and World Cup qualification had already been assured. It was only the withdrawment of the Liverpool England team in protest of their own incompetence that saw Spaam through to the finals, but they have yet to regain form as the force that once contested the World Cup Final.

-------------------------The Lykaians opened the scoring to the delight of the home support through fan favorite Amika Alansifol. Alansifol stole in from the aging Enzo Ahat before leaving Tivali City's Jimmy Kater with no chance of saving the one on one effort. The Jungle Cats quickly rebounded, from the kick off Makosile's Teariki Mané, given a very rare start in central midfield found Tanner Nerni down the right side. Nerni worked well to beat out 2 Lykaian defenders before putting in his cross. The cross could only find the head of another Lykaian defender, who put the ball out for the games first corner kick. Vilitan captain Santo Kecker delivered a dream corner that Germán Salomón had little trouble finding the back of the net with. The striker soluted the travelling Vilitan support in a clear sign that he was looking to displace Callum Banda as the first choice striker for Helmut Vilkaus.

-------------------------The Vilitan support were silenced however after a period of persistant attack from Lykaia, Alansifol volleyed home from 12 yards after a short feed from Victor Miradah. The game was stopped briefly just before the half hour mark when Vilitan defender Jaloey Afrikka required treatment, but the young defender was able to shake it off and rejoin play moments later. It was at this point that Marasent Sioane's long throw was left untouched by the Lykaian defense, allowing young Eastal Lunar striker Mauro Baraza a chance to level the scores. Baraza's initial effort was blocked by Lykaia's goalkeeper, but the 19 year old was able to follow up and knock home the equalizer just past the half hour mark.

-------------------------Vilita took their first lead of the game just minutes from the half after a melee scramble inside the area following an effort from Marasent Sioane. The ball careemed back into a mess of players before getting a final poke from Salomón put the Jungle Cats 3-2 up after 45 Minutes. Despite hving a wealth of talent available to him on the bench, Vilitan head coach Helmut Vilkaus opted to keep his lineup unchanged for the second half.

-----------------------------
First Half Analysis:

Lykaia

Best Player: Amika Alansofil
Worst Player: Oleg Yvchevsky
Shots on Target: 4
Corner Kicks: 1

Vilita

Best Player: Germán Salomón
Worst Player: Enzo Ahat
Shots on Target: 6
Corner Kicks: 3
-----------------------------

-------------------------The opening minutes of the second half opened a new section of the stats column, seeing Big Pimentan referee Pillipe de la Cocoterie handing out 3 yellow cards for seperate incident, all occuring in and around the Lykaia penalty area. The first to be booked was Lykaia's Oleg Yvchevsky, turning an already bad day into a miserable one before being substituted. Then it was Tanner Nerni who received the yellow card for dissent after feeling he was brought down on the edge of the area, only for de la Cocoterie to signal for a Lykaian Goal Kick. With just under ten minutes gone in the second half, Lykaian Bacardi Boroshevz received his marching orders after a violent boot to the face on Vilitan youngster Teariki Mané. Mané appeared to lose a portion of his nose with the challenge, and had to leave the field for treatment. Santo Kecker's free kick was unable to clear the depleted Lykaian wall, but fell nicely to Mauro Baraza who doubled the visitors advantage with an instinctive strike from the top of the circle.

-------------------------Ten-Man Lykaia would not give up, however, with Teariki Mané still sidelined with no substitute being brought on, Lykaia would get one goal back through Ivan Tverdorsk. Tverdorsk took advantage of the gap in the center of midfield to operate a one-two play with Amika Alansifol. Alansifol had a clear shot on goal from the right but unselfishly dished to Tverdorsk who easily converted with Jimmy Kater rooted to his line. A battered Teariki Mané would return for the ensuing kick off, but even with a full 11 players on the field, the Jungle Cats could not contain this new Lykaian Life. It was Amika Alansifol who sent the home crowd into a tizzy with his Hattrick goal with 20 minutes to play. A dejected Jimmy Kater punted the ball deep into the crowd, and was lucky to escape with just a warning from the sympathetic Pimentan referee.

-------------------------Lykaia would make a defensive substitution, looking content to maintain the 4-4 scoreline. This was just the door the Jungle Cats needed to get themselves back into the game. It was after some good work by Tanner Nerni on the right side that Germán Salomón found himself clear to the goalkeepers right hand side. The delivery was low but escaped the mass of players inside the area before Salomón side footed home for his hattrick goal, putting his side back in front with 15 minutes to play. The Jungle Cats would not stop there however. From the resulting kickoff, young Teariki Mané intervened to send Nerni free once again down the right hand side. Pressured the the byline, Nerni was able to strategically earn a Corner Kick for his side. It was ever-present captain Santo Kecker who delivered the corner kick, and it was towering defender Enzo Ahat who rose highest to convert the goal that ended hopes of a Lykaian comeback.

-----------------------------
Full Time Analysis:

Lykaia

Best Player: Amika Alansofil
Worst Player: Oleg Yvchevsky*
Shots on Target: 6
Corner Kicks: 3

Vilita

Best Player: Germán Salomón
Worst Player: Jaloey Afrikka
Shots on Target: 11
Corner Kicks: 9
-----------------------------

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/teamsheet.gif
Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Jimmy Kater, [D] Ricky Ezis, [D] Enzo Ahat, [D] Jaloey Afrikka, [DM] Jürgen Ramzi, [M] Marasent Sioane, [M] Santo Kecker, [M] Teariki Mané, [M] Tanner Nerni, [F] Germán Salomón, [F] Mauro Baraza
BENCH::
[F] Callum Banda, [F] Hluali Mijatos, [M] Alexander Östling, [M] Jacques Vintila, [U] Calaesa Mitaroka, [D] Danilo Liguori, [GK] Massimo Corsi

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/schedXV.gif
Matches & Venues:
MD01: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [4] - [1] - Somalialand
MD02: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [1] - [2] @ One Red Dot
MD03: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [2] - [1] - Kylaai
MD04: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [1] - [0] @ Maldunia
MD05: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [3] - [2] - The Lowland Clans
MD06: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [6] - [4] @ Lykaia
MD07: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [1] - [1] - Maserrat
MD08: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [2] - [0] @ Somalialand
MD09: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [2] - [0] - One Red Dot
MD10: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [2] - [1] @ Kylaai
MD11: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [9] - [0] - Maldunia
MD12: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [] - [] @ The Lowland Clans
MD13: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [] - [] - Lykaia
MD14: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [] - [] @ Maserrat

Squornshelous

03-11-2004, 23:14

Pschychoes definitely back on their feet

Squornshelous goes 4-0 in the second half so far

The Pschychoes, one mught say, are rolling. Despite the fact that they haven't RPed since beating Oddslavo in matchday 7, they have won every game. However, tonights matchup pits the Pschychoes against the group leading Svecia dutch-types (or whatever). The winner is in first place, the loser in second. The outcome of the top two is probably about to be decided. Squornshelous would, of course, like nothing better than to take advantage of Svecia's recent draws and leap out in front of them. However, if we lose, Svecia wil have made themselves all but uncatchable. It will definitely be a very interesting match.
Predicted Score: Squornshelous 1-2 Svecia

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Raskolnikov: 12
Puente: 7
Castillan: 4
Arnesson: 3
Friedel: 1

Squornshelous' Qualifying Schedule:
wins losses draws

MD01: Squornshelous 5-1 Finrods
MD02: Sarcodina 1-2 Squornshelous
MD03: Squornshelous 3-0 Wella
MD04: Artoonia 1-4 Squornshelous
MD05: Svecia 2-1 Squornshelous
MD06: Dennisov 2-1 Squornshelous
MD07: Squornshelous 3-2 Oddslavo
--------------------------------------------------------
MD08: Finrods 1-2 Squornshelous
MD09: Squornshelous 2-0 Sarcodina
MD10: Wella 0-2 Squornshelous
MD11: Squornshelous 2-0 Artoonia
MD12: Squornshelous v Svecia
MD13: Squornshelous v Dennisov
MD14: Oddslavo v Squornshelous

Group 7 standings after Matchday 11:

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Svecia 11 9 2 0 30 7 23 29
2 Squornshelous 11 9 0 2 27 10 17 27
3 Wella 11 4 2 5 16 16 0 14
4 Oddslavo 11 3 4 4 14 15 -1 13
5 Artoonia 11 3 3 5 13 21 -8 12
6 Finrods 11 2 3 6 12 20 -8 9
7 Dennisov 11 2 3 6 11 19 -8 9
8 Sarcodina 11 2 3 6 6 21 -15 9

Bedistan

03-11-2004, 23:20

Matchday 12 scores have been posted. (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7397677&posted=1#post7397677)

EL CID THE HERO

03-11-2004, 23:23

EL CID NEWS.
NEWS YOU CAN USE.

sports news

a bit late

EL CID THE HERO 0
Esth 2 (?47+,92)

El Cid the Hero is once again recovering from a poor day in the world cup. A hopefull Cid team a few years ago has been replaced by a flondering side as the team try to get back in to the WC finals.

"we just haven't been focused in the past few days" said Chris Skinner "and i think it is showing in out game."

He seemed to be right as the whole of the first half was a mid-pitch battle in which neaver side could get a run at goal. But in the last min of injury time Esth got past Roy Hunter who at the time was looking at the countdown to his half time snack. "i skipped breakfast this morning you see" said Roy "and only had a light lunch so i was a bit hungry at that point."
with his focus elsewere the defence was beaten and the lions went 1 down.

in the 2nd half el cid came close to break through the Esth defence several time but with the lions without any teath forward all attacks broke down.

As if to put the game to an end of the game Esth got another goal in the 93rdmin and that put the game to an end.

with only 3 game to go and all to play for the lions need to show good game form. keep reeding to find out.

Group 9

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Melmond 11 8 1 2 22 12 10 25
2 NASTIC 2 11 6 1 4 19 19 0 19
3 Esth 11 5 3 3 17 11 6 18
4 EL CID THE HERO 11 5 2 4 16 13 3 17
5 Raptor Claw 11 4 2 5 19 14 5 14
6 The Gulf States 11 3 4 4 14 15 -1 13
7 Oceaice 11 2 3 6 14 26 -12 9
8 Allsio 11 2 2 7 7 18 -11 8

::WC18 Qualifying Schedule::
MD01: EL CID THE HERO V The Gulf States W 3-2
MD02: EL CID THE HERO 3 V 1 Melmond W 3-1
MD03: EL CID THE HERO V Oceaice L 2-3
MD04: Esth V EL CID THE HERO D 0-0
MD05: EL CID THE HERO V Allsio L 0-1
MD06: EL CID THE HERO V Raptor Claw W 1-0
MD07: EL CID THE HERO V NASTIC 2 W 2-1
MD08: The Gulf StatesV EL CID THE HERO D 1-1
MD09: MelmondV EL CID THE HERO L 1-0
MD10: OceaiceV EL CID THE HERO W 1-4
MD11: EL CID THE HERO V Esth L 0-2
MD12: Allsio V EL CID THE HERO
MD13: Raptor Claw V EL CID THE HERO
MD14: NASTIC 2 V EL CID THE HERO

The Eagles Nest

04-11-2004, 01:11

The signup for Eagle's Cup IV, a WCC sanctioned event is here.

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7398744

This has no bearing on the KPB rankings, and will start the day of the semifinals.

Please sign up if you would like to play.

The Eagles Nest

04-11-2004, 01:26

TEN Qualifies On SN38 Upset
Strike Birds Fall 1-0 to Qualifier KP

KP was up 1-0 late in the match, and the Birds were looking haggard. Maybe the jet lag, no one knows or at least will tell us. Either way, the Nest was losing and the offense was no where to be seen. The Progressans were quite happy as this meant that their team would qualify if this score held. With 5 minutes to go though, the scoreboard, flashed an urgent update.

Qia 2
Snub Nose 38 1
78:00

The Nest fans were STUNNED to see this, as they realized this day of doom that the KP defense had put upon them suddenly had a chance to be a not so bad day after all. If the Hooligans lost, then both teams would qualify. It seems the Nest players got a pick me up from this as well as they were able to launch 7 attacks in this last 5 minutes plus injury time, but was unable to crack a very well played defenseive mindset. The whistle blew and they had lost to the Progressans for the second time in the group.

As both teams mulled around a bit thanking their fans, the scoreboard began to flash again.

Fmjphoenix 3
Krytenia 1
Full Time

A stunned crowd applauded, the Nest knowing they were a bit safer for getting the second spot in the group knowing that it put Krytenia down 5 with 2 games to play. Both teams stopped mulling around and started to watch the scoreboard. the day was going to get interesting.

Ashibot 1
Spurland 1
Full Time

Not much of a reaction there. The KP fans began to chant about their berth, and the Nest fans looked a bit downtrodden. But then.

Qia 3
Snub Nose 38 1
87:00

The place exploded. well not literally, the Birds fans jumped to their feet, knowing a miricle would be the only thing keeping them from qualification, but then some remembered the "miricle" that happened to the Hooligans at the expense of the Birds and they waited, nervous.

.
.
.
Qia 3
Snub Nose 38 1
Full Time

The Nest had done it. they had qualified in their 6th straight cup, albeit not their strongest showing, they were going to Eauz and Bedistan to play for the cup.

"Amazing day. We really wanted this win to get the qualification ourselves, but wow. Both Krytenia and SN38 lost today. both had chance to put some pressure on us, and on the other to get that 3rd spot, but now it's a race. the hoolignas will have to play us hard to get that third spot. normally I'd rest soem guys, but we have a touch of business to deal with the Hooligans tomorrow." - Coach Aefnen.

The race for the third spot is not easy for either team. SN38 has to travel to the Nest, while Krytenia travels to Kaze Progressa. If both team do the same thing, then the decider will be the head to head match between Krytenia and Snub Nose 38. Currently, Krytenia has a 2 point lead, so a tie against SN#* in that showdown would be enough. More details as we see how tomorrow unfolds.

Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
Q Kaze Progressa 12 10 1 1 31 10 21 31 37
Q The Eagles Nest 12 9 0 3 29 15 14 27 33
3 Krytenia 12 7 1 4 21 14 7 22 28
-------------------------------------------------------
4 Snub Nose 38 12 6 2 4 22 15 7 20 26
E Fmjphoenix 12 3 3 6 16 22 -6 12 18
E Spurland 12 2 5 5 11 17 -6 11 17
E Qia 12 3 2 7 18 27 -9 11 17
E Ashibot 12 0 2 10 7 35 -28 2 8

The Eagle's Nest Strike Bird Qualification Run
Matchday 1: The Eagle's Nest vs. Ashibot Win 3-0
Matchday 2: The Eagle's Nest @ Krytenia Win 3-1
Matchday 3: The Eagle's Nest vs. Spurland Win 3-1
Matchday 4: The Eagle's Nest @ Fmjphoenix Win 2-1
Matchday 5: The Eagle's Nest vs. Kaze Progressa Loss 1-2
Matchday 6: The Eagle's Nest @ Snub Nose 38 Loss 2-4
Matchday 7: The Eagle's Nest vs. Qia Win 6-2
-----------------------------------------------------
Matchday 8: The Eagle's Nest @ Ashibot Win 3-2
Matchday 9: The Eagle's Nest vs. Krytenia Win 1-0
Matchday 10: The Eagle's Nest @ Spurland Win 3-0
Matchday 11: The Eagle's Nest vs. Fmjphoenix Win 2-1
Matchday 12: The Eagle's Nest @ Kaze Progressa Loss 0-1
Matchday 13: The Eagle's Nest vs. Snub Nose 38
Matchday 14: The Eagle's Nest @ Qia

Fmjphoenix

04-11-2004, 01:41

Fmjphoenix wins, dampens Krytenia's qualifying hopes
By Allen Newhouse

Krytenia: Esteban Zeus, Alex Rivera, and Mike Nolan all produced for Fmjphoenix's suprise upset over Krytenia, their second upset out of their three wins. Acienko Rimmer scored the only goal for Krytenia, as the Vikings go on to win 3-1.

Following the second loss to The Eagles Nest in which Jorge Mendel scored the Vikings only goal, they came back out and showed that he is not the only scoring factor for the Vikings.

Tommorow, Fmjphoenix will go home to face Spurland, and hope to earn more points and stay ranked 5th. Stay tuned for a stats update of the Whole Vikings team.

Goals:
Mike Nolan - 4'29
Acienko Rimmer - 13'20
Esteban Zeus - 64'54
Alex Rivera - 82'

Final Score:
Fmjphoenix [3] - Krytenia [1]

Group Four Standings

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Kaze Progressa 12 10 1 1 31 10 21 31
2 The Eagles Nest 12 9 0 3 29 15 14 27
3 Krytenia 12 7 1 4 21 14 7 22
4 Snub Nose 38 12 6 2 4 22 15 7 20
5 Fmjphoenix 12 3 3 6 16 22 -6 12
6 Spurland 12 2 5 5 11 17 -6 11
7 Qia 12 3 2 7 18 27 -9 11
8 Ashibot 12 0 2 10 7 35 -28 2

Audioslavia

04-11-2004, 01:56

Cockbill Compete
'Slaves Win and Clean-Sheet records come to an end

In a drizzly day in Cockbill Street, Audioslavia finally conceded their first goal for seven games, and failed to win for the first time in the same seven games.

The first record fell in spectacular fashion in the twenty-first minute. Olafsson recieved a square ball from Axeweilder and, from twenty-five yards, unleashed a beautiful shot which curved and dipped outwards into the top left hand corner, leaving 'slavia goalkeeper Peter Andersson flat-footed and helpless as he watched the ball sail in.

Cockbill Street had the better of the first half, having more posession and playing their football mostly in Audioslavia's half, but couldn't advance their lead any further.

Their inability to expand on the lead proved costly after half-time as Audioslavia took the game back to the Streetians and scored through a McLlroy finish on the hour mark to pull level. The 'slaves would attack with relish in the minutes after the re-start, but fatigue and the fact that the pitch was getting soggier by the minute stifled any more Audioslavian attacks and any more Streetian counters, leaving the game bogged down in midfield for the game's twighlight period. Stubbings had the best chance on goal in that period on the eighty-eighth minute but placed his shot wide of the post.

FINAL SCORE
Cockbill Street 1 (Olafsson 21)
Audioslavia 1 (McLlroy 60)

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Audioslavia 12 10 1 1 33 4 29 31
2 Cockbill Street 12 5 5 2 22 13 9 20
3 Oaker 12 5 5 2 22 14 8 20
4 Druida 12 6 2 4 17 18 -1 20
5 Tadjikistan 12 6 1 5 25 17 8 19
6 Avenging Altos 12 4 3 5 11 15 -4 15
7 Kipto-Mare 12 2 0 10 9 35 -26 6
8 Vollmeria 12 0 3 9 7 30 -23 3

With just two games to go group three couldn't possibly get any tighter. The 'slaves are done and dusted alright thanks to a load of freak results, but from Cockbill Street in second place to Tadjikistan in fifth (going down from second place last week). Avenging Altos also look like they could get through, but they would have to hope for a whole lot of other results to go their way.

Cockbill Street's point against the 'slaves was enough to get them ahead of Tadjikistan who lost their ultra-important six-pointer with Druida 1-0. The Rainbows leapfrog the Tigers but still stay behind Oaker, who also won, thanks to their appalling goal difference. Avenging Altos are making the best of a bad job with their last three games, the side scraped an away win against Vollmeria to close the gap between them and the 'pack' from five points to three.

MD13 sees the most exciting round of matches yet as first play third at home, second play fifth at home and fourth play sixth away. Any result for Oaker would be a good one at Audioslavia, with the 'slaves in such top form and in their own stadium (one in which they are undefeated in twelve years) the Oakermen will need to have their wits about them to take anything away. Although a win would obviously be a bonus, a point would probably give them the advantage they need over the rest. Should Oaker get a point, they would definately stay ahead of either Cockbill Street or Tadjikistan who play each other in the Street. CS, given their recent form, are the better bet to win but of course Tadjikistan are no slouches and will give their all in what will be the best match of group 3.

The other match sees Avenging Altos take on Druida at home. A.A. have already beaten Druida in Druida and if they could do the same thing in their own stadium they might just give themselves a shot at that second/third place. It's going to take a lot of things happening at once to happen though. They can only get to a maximum of twenty-one points and three of the sides above them have twenty points and one has nineteen. As well as that, there is a matchup between two of these sides on each matchday, with Tadjikistan taking on Cockbill Street and Oaker. For AA to go though, first of all they need to beat Druida and then Cockbill Street, then they need Tadjikistan to beat CS and Oaker, then they need Oaker and Druida to lose their other games. Oaker losing away to the 'slaves wouldn't be too much of a shock, but Druida play Vollmeria. That said, a Druida-Vollmeria draw could see AA through should they make up that 3-goal deficit in their goal-difference...

Either way, expect the Altos, or as Audioslavians call them 'Le Prancing Chanteurs' to fuck up and finish sixth.

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake, g'nite bitches.

Starblaydia

04-11-2004, 02:04

Hundred-Percenters Halted
Starblaydia prove Ralph Sirx Right with 2-2 Draw

We don't know whether Liverpool England made many changes from their usual line-up, as we never knew what their usual line-up was, or, in fact, the names of any of their players.

Starblaydia, on the other hand, played their 'strongest' formation, shown below.

1
Da Silva

2 5 3 14
Salisbury Durand Nicholson Bachchan

4
7 R Di Bradini 11
Stark 8 Hawthorne
Naoki

*10* 9
S Di Bradini Hall
Nice and familiar with the 4-4-2 Diamond, Starblaydia hoped they would be able to contain the free-scoring, three-a-match Philosopher strike force, while using their own superstars 'SDB', Eomer Hall and Naoki to rip apart the only defence in Group Ten tighter than Starblaydia's own.

Liverpool England opened the scoring within fifteen minutes as a well-taken half volley beat Da Silva's fingertips. They doubled their advantage shortly before halftime with a Penalty Kick, though Jean-Pierre Durand still claims the never touched the player. All was looking lost for Starblaydia as they were about to go into the dressing room with nearly ninety-thousand fans and a Nobleman on their backs. Then Roberto Di Bradini attempted to skip past a defender and found himself on the receiving end of a hip throw for his efforts.

Ceri Salisbury dispatched the free-kick and rippled the back of the net with a trade-mark strike to pull one back for Starblaydia. The second half was twenty-minutes old when Simeone Di Bradini's shot was spilled by the Englander goalie. A Tetsuo Naoki follow-up shot was blocked by a defender but the rebound fell, out wide, to J.J. Stark who clipped the ball in with his left foot. Statisticians tell us this is his first ever left-footed goal. We think it might actually be the first time Stark has ever touched a ball with his left foot, but we're not sure.

Though both sides desperately attempted to break the two-two deadlock, neither could make any headway, despite Liverpool England putting the ball in the Starblaydi net. Offside was signalled, but we weren't too sure on that, either. Starblaydia now only need a single point to assure qualification in their remaining two games. Next they host Aquiliana at the Hallad City Stadium, where Eomer Hall is sure to try and impress his home crowd. This match may decide who claims Second Spot in Group Ten, but if not it will be a revenge match for the Three-One defeat earlier in the campaign in Altissima.

Currently Aquiliana need three points from their remaining two games, while Halfassedstates and The Evil Umpire will need nothing more than two wins each. Conceivably, Starblaydia could be sent crashing into the Cup of Harmony by losing to Aquiliana and The Evil Umpire, assuming the Umpires overcame a Twelve-goal deficit.

It's all within the realms of possibility, but a draw or better in either of the two remaining games would see Starblaydia through.

Two wins would be nicer, though.

Final Score From the Jader Barbalho Stadium:
Starblaydia 2 - 2 Liverpool England
(Salisbury 44, Stark 67) - (A. Player 13, A.N. Other 39)

[OOC: Of course, LE feel free to give Mr Player and Mr Other their actual names.]

Sarzonia

04-11-2004, 04:00

Stars inch closer to third, win 2-0

The Sarzonian national team faced a Liechtenistan side that it barely defeated, 1-0 in a home match in the first leg while the team was still trying to deal with tragedies and misfortunes. With the team focused now on a last ditch effort to advance to the World Cup finals, the Stars extended their unbeaten streak in the second half to five matches with a 2-0 win.

"We would have loved to have had a 7-0 win like Commerce Heights did against this club," Coach Dave Wilson said. "But we'll take the three points any way we can get them. We needed that with the Commerce Heights-Rejistania draw and the Spalatium-Lovisa draw."

Midfielder Bobby Convey started the sequence that netted the first Stars goal when he one-timed a shot that hit off the woodwork to the left of the goalkeeper. Forward Barry Alphonso skied for a header that was also saved by the keeper, but midfielder Darwin Russell would not be denied. He sent a spectacular bicycle kick off the left post and into the back of the net to give the Stars a 27th minute lead.

"I wasn't planning a bicycle kick," Russell said. "I just reacted instinctively. That's all I was thinking about."

The Stars buried a second goal into the back of the net just eight minutes later after defender Lance Alcina won a corner kick against a Liechtenistanian forward who mis hit an attempt to clear the ball out of danger. Alcina fed fellow defender and Hallad Reavers teammate Emacio and the youngster blasted a shot into the top right corner of the net.

Liechtenistan never seriously threatened afterward, generating only three shots on goalkeeper Troy Perkins, who notched his second consecutive clean sheet of the tournament.

"The easy part's over," Alcina said. "We know we have a tough match ahead of us in Rejistania. We've got to play our best football if we're going to get any kind of result to go our way.

"We want to make sure we still have something to play for when we host Lovisa."

The team announced that if the team still has a chance at a qualifying spot, the match would take place at Hendrix Stadium in Woodstock. If the team has been eliminated, the team will play at a smaller venue, the Palestra.

Liverpool England

04-11-2004, 08:19

Debutants 'A Player' and 'A.N. Other' get goals in draw

Liverpool England lost its 100% record with a 2-2 draw with Starblaydia, with Antoine Player and Anthony Orio Other getting the goals in a revamped lineup. Both strikers, 24, were called up only for this match, according to Ralph Sirx. They are expected to be dropped for the remainder of the qualfiiers.

The Gulf States

04-11-2004, 09:24

So close and yet so far....

That is the current attitude with The Gulf States international football team. The team currently sits in 6th place in the medicore Group 9. They have long odds to advance on to the next round, but the entire team hasn't given up hope. It's well known that the last loss will be the wooden spike to the heart for the team. Even winning the remaining two games may not be enough if teams above them don't get upset.

Brent Cleveland, backup defenseman: "I really don't want to go home yet. It's such a shame that another year has gone by and we're still struggling to make impact. We're still in 6th place, fighting off elimination a little early. It's disappointing. We've been doing this for four years now, I don't know how much progress we've truly made. We've been the doormat for other nations clubs left and right. Last year we couldn't even catch a break because a team withdrew right after beating us. That sums up our team in a nutshell.

We just got to keep playing hard. We got to play 90 minutes of solid football. In our last two games, losing or drawing is not an option. We got to do anything we can to keep continuing our season, our chance to win the World Cup. We want to be the next major football powerhouse, just like dozens of nations. We just want to make sure we're the successful one. We want to be known for more than just hockey and baseball.

Our last match, we won. We've got a lot of draws this year, quite a few wins compared to Cups past. We're doing fairly good for ourselves. But we will never be truly satisfied until we get the World Cup back to The Gulf States. We can say, ok. We're 5-4-5. We got a winning record. It's a start, and another benchmark to pass in Cup 19. But we got to keep raising the bar, our standards. Hell yes, we want to win the cup this year. Next year too. And so on. We one day will. We just want to surprise, shock, and rule the world."

Jeruselem

04-11-2004, 13:46

Jeruselem Government News

It's Jeruselem vs Spaam vs Slaikau for 3rd spot!

It's down to the last two games and coverted 3rd spot is down to three teams. Match day 12 brought some interesting results in Group 1 of rhe World Cup XVIII.

Spaam upset Iansisle 3-0 to move to 4th spot and put themselves with a chance to taking 3rd. Last placed New Dubai did not do Slaikau any favours and actually won 3-1 in another upset to leave put Slaikau back to 5th. Jeruselem wrote off Smoking Pits chance with a 3-1 win and helping itself to a 4 point lead over Spaam.

Crystilakere won 5-2 against Wapahkoneta to round off the games.

The talking point was Spaam's upset win over Group 1 leader Iansisle inflicting their first loss. Jeruselem had been hoping Iansisle would win so Spaam it would have a mich bigger points lead for the last two games. Jeruselem's sudden form change with it's goal splurges in the last 3 games scoring 9 goals, put spice into the situation.

The contest will be determined by the last games for Spaam and Jeruselem as well as Slaikau. Jeruselem is not wanting to repeat World Cup XVII where Dance 2 Revolution stole 4th place off it on the last day where Jeruselem lost to Bedistan and D2R won.

Group 1
Spaam 3-0 Iansisle
Wapahkoneta 2-5 Crystilakere
Smoking Pits 1-3 Jeruselem
New Dubai 3-1 Slaikau

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Iansisle 12 10 1 1 34 11 23 31
2 Crystilakere 12 8 2 2 33 18 15 26
3 Jeruselem 12 5 3 4 21 21 0 18
4 Spaam 12 3 5 4 16 17 -1 14
5 Slaikau 12 3 4 5 21 24 -3 13
6 Smoking Pits 12 2 5 5 13 23 -10 11
7 Wapahkoneta 12 2 3 7 12 25 -13 9
8 New Dubai 12 1 5 6 17 28 -11 8

Rejistania

04-11-2004, 14:07

A day of Karela

"With SyLy a new era of offensive soccer is bound to come!" commentators like Sirake Tekim of RejisCAST had to swallow their words as the Orange-Blues played a highly defensive match against Spalatium. Once again, SyLy proved that rejistanian high-class soccer means System Karela until the oponent goes insane. The Matix Omeh stadium was completely sold out and a notable amount of the fans were from Spalatium (entire 2%).

SyLy used the fact that the Orange-Blues are qualified to give some new players a chance: Sayiji Hija and Jese Eti~l started in the defense for the first time, Taserikijilti Vavenetexy once again replaced veteran Ninu Juru and Jentu Minikse debuted as forward in the national team.

Neither Rejistania nor Spalatium had anything reminding of a chance in the first half. Goalie Vavenetexy'he had to deal with three back passes and idled for the rest of the time. The mixture of System Karela and pressing led to a very destructive, very karelaish soccer. The fans cheered, especially the ones from karela. In the second half, they had even more to cheer about then destroyed chances of the opponent: Jentu Minikse capitalized the first chance for the Orange-Blues in that match in the 78th minute. Due to the inept Spalati side Vavenetexy'he also in this half had no chance for showing his quality. When he saw that TV-R cameras pointed in his direction, he pretended to be sleeping or sleep-walking. After the match, he got told off by SyLy for that. the match ended 1:0, which is encouraging for the match against Commerce Heights.

The result:
Rejistania 1 (Minikse 78th)
Spalatium 0

Druida

04-11-2004, 15:54

The Tribune Tribune
Serving Druid Tribune and the surrounding area

COULD WE DRU IT?
Trefor Blackmore thinks it might just be possible...

Yes, I know, it is pretty amazing. Especially when you consider how absolutely dreadful we were against Audioslavia. But one of the biggest shocks in World Cup history could be on the cards. Yes, Druida (world ranking 109) has the distinct possibility of finishing in the top three in Group 3, and therefore grabbing a place in Bedistan and Eauz.

No-one ever expected to find Druida in this position, not even the Druidan people themselves. Made up mostly of players who failed to qualify even for qualifying last time around, the addition of two former Giant Zucchini superstars and some distitinctly unknown players from the NEWI Cefn Druids Premier League who have declared their support for the Druidan government have exceeded all expectations by coming this far. What is more, the number of times they have come back from being dead and buried has been unbelievable.

First of all, there was the Baptism of Fire tournament that was going so well untill a 4-0 thrashing at the hands of The Latin Union ended the rainbows' hopes. But while the Latins have generally struggled in qualifying (seventh in Group 10, significantly only one place behind and level on points with BoF finalists Nova Brittanicus.), the unexpected surprise of qualifying has been Druida.

Obviously, there have been ups and downs along the way. The biggest up was, of course, the win over Audioslavia (the only such result achieved so far this campaign) on matchday four, which left Druida as shock group leaders with ten points from four games. Surely it was all too good to last?

Well, of course it was. The Druidan government had so far been running a "Margaretisation" scheme to try to aid the team with their progress. However, after the victory, when the costs had become clear, the scheme was stopped. It coincided with a slump in the rainbows' form. Successive defeats to the Tadjik Tigers and those annoying operatics looked like the end for Druida. Since then, the rainbows' form hasn't exactly set the world alight. A couple of wins against the less-than fancied Kipto-Mare and Vollmeria and a hard fought draw against Oaker meant that after a blistering start, Druida had scored just seven points from as many games. In the last of those games, a 4-0 revenge thrashing at the hands of Audioslavia, the rainbows looked like their time was up.

But no, they have somehow managed to come back yet again! Due to the way in which everyone in the group seems to be beating everyone else (apart from Kipto-Mare and Vollmeria (so far...)), Druida went into their game against Tadjikistan in fifth place, just two points behind their opponents and Cockbill Street in the two qualifying positions and level on points with Oaker. With the world expecting hte tigers to win easily, the old Druidan fighting spirit was back. Holding on to a 1-0 for over an hour against their more fancied opponents.

And so it comes that Druida are level on points with second place, though they are only in fourth themselves. But look at the fixtures. Druida have probably the easiest run-in of the five teams still in contention. They have to go to fifth place Avenging Altos in what is a must-win game for them. A defeat would probably be the end of the line for them, while keeping the Altos in the fight. Then we go to Vollmeria, who haven't exactly set the world alight with just three points so far. But those points have all come against teams still challenging for the top three, so don't discount them in that one.

However, compared with Tadjikistan, who have to play both Cockbill Street and Oaker, it is an easy run in. Indeed, because of those two games, plus Oaker's remaining fixture against the table-topping 'slaves, the rainbows' remaining fixtures make for happy reading. However, while it all looks good on paper, football is generally played on other surfaces, like grass. Yes, on the pitch is where it matters. But if that Druidan spirit we have seen makes itself shown, we could be in for one of the biggest shocks the World Cup has ever seen.

Maybe. Only maybe.

Sarzonia

04-11-2004, 16:25

Stars look to put 'blue' in Orange-Blues

The Sarzonian national team began the final stages of preparations for their away match to top-ranked and first place Rejistania with the team not concentrating on pronouncing the name of the Rejistanian striker they call "Sa" and focusing instead on trying to get standings points.

"We need to get three points wherever we can," Coach Dave Wilson said.

The coach's usually jovial demeanor took on a much more serious tone throughout the days leading up to the match. Players and assistant coach Barry Owens said the coach had a "determined look" on his face when heading to the team's practice facility near the Palestra in Woodstock.

"He's been staying later than he ever has trying to come up with something for that Rejistanian defense," Owens said. "He's already decided the team will have to play an attacking style of football along with keeping possession, but he's trying to find one more thing he can use to the team's advantage."

The Stars are one point behind third place Commerce Heights and two points behind second place Lovisa for one of the three qualifying positions for the World Cup. A win by Lovisa and a loss by the Stars would force the Stars to win and hope Commerce Heights loses its final match. Just about any other scenario including a Stars loss or draw would force the team to beat Lovisa in the final match to advance to the World Cup.

"It's all going to come down to that last match again," Wilson said. "Just like it has every other World Cup qualifying competition we've been in." Wilson bristled when reporters suggested that the team would or should be pleased with a draw against Rejistania.

"We can't go into the Lion's den and hope to get away with one [standings] point. If one point is all we're going after and we don't get it, we're in trouble. If we go in looking for three points and we get one, we've at least accomplished something. But we have to go in looking for the win."

Rejistania has only two draws as blemishes on its unbeaten record.

"Hopefully, there's a first time for everything," Wilson said.

Tadjikistan

04-11-2004, 16:26

Tigers cant get there

Druida - The Tigers held second place in group three and a win in Druida would have made the Tadjik position strong enough for the last 2 matches. But luck was not with the Tigers, quickly losing the lead in their match to the rainows. A slightly injured Timoshenko was replaced by Yudenich but he could not change the outcome anymore. A sore dissapointment in the eyes of the Tadjik fans, expecting a win and getting humiliation.

Druida's 1-0 win sent the Tigers back to the fifth place, only one point behind Druida, Oaker and Cockbill Street. The Tigers must win their match in Cockbill Street if they want to qualify, Zhukov realizes the seriousness of the situation: 'Disapointment once more, that draw against Avenging Altos was already bad enough. Now we get beaten here. I know we have to win now, and i'm going experimenting again. Only a miracle can get us through Zhukov knows we'll have to crawl through the eye of the needle 'Druida's next opponent is Avenging Altos and i hope the Altos will give them a hard match. A draw is already enough. In the meantime we must hope Oaker loses its match in Audioslavia. I fear it might put lots of pressure on the team, something we dont need right now.' We'll light a candle for the Tigers and maybe the guy up there will help them through.

Group 3
Cockbill Street 1-1 Audioslavia
Druida 1-0 Tadjikistan
Kipto-Mare 0-3 Oaker
Vollmeria 0-1 Avenging Altos

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Audioslavia 12 10 1 1 33 4 29 31
2 Cockbill Street 12 5 5 2 22 13 9 20
3 Oaker 12 5 5 2 22 14 8 20
4 Druida 12 6 2 4 17 18 -1 20
5 Tadjikistan 12 6 1 5 25 17 8 19
6 Avenging Altos 12 4 3 5 11 15 -4 15
7 Kipto-Mare 12 2 0 10 9 35 -26 6
8 Vollmeria 12 0 3 9 7 30 -23 3

MD1 :Tadjikistan - Kipto-Mare W 3-2
MD2 :Tadjikistan - Audioslavia L 0-2
MD3 :Tadjikistan - Vollmeria W 6-0
MD4 :Avenging Altos - Tadjikistan L 1-0
MD5 :Tadjikistan - Druida W 4-2
MD6 :Tadjikistan - Cockbill street W 3-1
MD7 :Tadjikistan - Oaker L 1-2
MD8 :Kipto-Mare - TadjikistanW 2-4
MD9 :Audioslavia - Tadjikistan L 3-0
MD10: Vollmeria - Tadjikistan W 1-4
MD11: Tadjikistan - Avenging Altos D 0-0
MD12: Druida - Tadjikistan L 1-0
MD13: Cockbill Street - Tadjikistan
MD14: Oaker - Tadjikistan

Maserrat

04-11-2004, 18:06

The Dream Ends For Maserrat

Well, it's all over for the Dynamos. It's now mathematically impossible for them to qualify for the finals after yesterday's 2-2 draw with Lykaia. However, coach Karpova insists that there are a lot of positives to draw from this qualifying campaign.

"Our aim for this World Cup wasn't to qualify - from our position in the rankings it's almost impossible to do so. Our aims for this tournament were to gain vital experience, to improve our techinque, and basically to prepare ourselves for the next World Cup, where we will stand more of a chance. Besides, we are still on course to reach my 15 point target, and of course fourth place is still up for grabs. There is a lot we can take from this competition apart from the disappointment of not qualifying, and I hope this is the springboard we need to catapult ourselves into the world elite."

Maserrat face the now extinct Somalialand tonight, and a win would allow the team to reach its points target before the 'practice-match' against Vilita (so-called seeing as it doesn't matter for anyone now). As well as this, the country has put in a bid to co-host the next tournament with fmjphoenix, a prospect too hot for most Maserratians to handle. This is only the beginning of what is sure to be a bright future for the Dynamos - one that hopefully is to start quite soon.

Melmond

04-11-2004, 19:36

Makinshakes Presents...
The Ketchup Times
Now you can eat your fries and read the latest news around Melmond!

Since it is salute to good music day in Melmond, we shall make our three headline song titles from the Melmondian goddess' favorite bands: The Living End, Muse, and Malice Mizer respectively.

Carry Me Home
It certainly seems that the Fearless Farmers are certainly one homesick side. Other than the match against The Gulf States, the Melmond National Team has recaptured the spirit of the side that finished third place over in the last World Cup in Kaze Progressa and Vilita. All the main Melmondian struggles were away from their home nation, and this was no exception as Melmond falls in a 3-1 embarrassing loss against Esth. Surprisingly enough, it appeared that Melmond was well in control of this match in the first half as they dominated the possession of the ball and was able to score the only goal of the first half by a solid play which led to Melmond striker Tim Remans getting the only goal Melmond would end up getting. In the second half, the Fearless Farmers looked like the Under-a-Cheevers and Disappointments of all, doing a now uncharacterstic meltdown as the Melmond defence made lots of bad challenges. The first Esth goal was on a penalty kick from a foul called on Melmond defender Veronica Dean as Esth striker John Kearney converted the penalty to knot the match up at one. Then midway through the second half there was a miscommunication in the Melmond defence as John Kearney was left unmarked and scored his second goal of the match past Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm, who was left out to dry. Esth's insurance goal was on a corner kick, in which their defender Ditemke Matumba was able to head the ball past Xtfuinxm for Esth's third goal. The Esth crowd as well as their national team were ecstatic at the 3-1 victory over the strong Melmond side and that they are still well in contention to qualify for their first every world cup.

Muscle Museum
In the next match against minnow Allsio, the Fearless Farmers really were in their element. First of all, they were much more comfortable in their home nation as they played in front of a home nation sell out crowd at the White Bread Dome in Suburbia, who were armed with the Fearless Farmer kazoos, to annoy the other side into submission. Especially in form was the Fearless Farmers defence. After the letdown against Esth, they finally found their form and absolutely dominated the feeble Allsio attack. Allsio was only able to get 3 shots off the entire match! All the shots were easily stopped by Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm. However, the Melmond attack was a little weaker than hoped as many of their shots and passes were off target and the first half ended scoreless. It was no worries however for the Fearless Farmers. As feeble as the entire Allsio side was, it would make sense that Melmond would get at least some goals to get past. The Fearless Farmers would get a couple goals to get past, both from the feet of Melmond striker Ojfssnsj Xrnym as Melmond would get the impressive yet not so impressive 2-nil victory over Allsio. Melmond still holds on to first place in Group 9.

No Pains No Gains
It has been said that the Fearless Farmers have been on cruise control throughout qualifying. Statistically, it really hasn't effected the Melmond National Team as technically they are having their strongest qualifying session yet. However, they have not clinched a qualifying spot in the World Cup yet as many of their comparable peers have. It was warned by many pundits that Melmond might be prone to overconfidence against such an easy group, and Melmond hasn't been as near as dominating as expected. The match in Raptor Claw certainly was a danger match. In history, the Fearless Farmers have owned the Raptors, taking four out of five of their total matchups against each other. But the Raptors were still a relatively talent side despite their horrible underacheiving, and this angry side may be ready to explode any moment with frustration. Unfortunately, the undead Absymali referee Gurg was assigned for this match, and Gurg still had a vendetta against the Fearless Farmers. If you remember back when Melmond took on Brazillico in Brazillico, Gurg was assigned for the match, but died on the way to Brazllico in a plane crash on infamous Abysmali airline Crash Cheap Airways. However, despite his body being charred and basically lifeless, the spirit of Gurg kept to corpse going as he must cost Brazillico the match. He came to match throwing flaming red cards at the Brazillican players. In order to maintain fair play and to help patch up previous hostilities, the Melmondians assisted the Brazillicans to stop Gurg's rampage and succeeded. However, although techinically a zombie, Gurg still holds his vendettas and his penchant for horrible calls. The angry Raptor Claw side took advantage of it as Gurg allowed the most vicious attacks on Melmond's players. The first Raptor Claw goal was done when striker Imat Arget raked the eyes of Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm and fellow Raptor Claw striker Runni Naroun scored the goal. Fortunately, Xtfuinxm was able to continue the match. However, four other Melmond players would have to leave the match from vicious Raptor Claw attacks as midfielders Peeko Noodleschlausen and Jake Cormier would have to leave the match due to bites and defender Jonsi Torrini and striker Tim Remans would have to get stitches from getting clawed. Melmond made all three of their substitutions in the first half and had to play a player done for the rest of the match. Melmond did what they could during the rest of the match, playing very tough, but all the factors were completely stacked against them as Raptor Claw striker Runni Naroun scores two more goals to complete his hat trick and the 3-nil Raptor Claw victory. On paper this was an embarrassing loss, and indeed the loss was painful literally and figuratively. However, considering the circumstances, the Fearless Farmers seem to have the resolve back to reestablish themselves as one of the hardest working sides in NationStates World Cup.

Svecia

04-11-2004, 21:59

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

SVECIA FINISHING STRONG
Excellent goals put Svecia in good position

Sqornshelous 0 Svecia 2

- With only two more matchday to go, Svecia are looking for a huge finish. Yesterday they got two.

A rainy day in Sqornshelous did nothing to put out the fire in the Lightning, rather it seemed that the home style weather made the Lightning play better.

After a brief flurry of midfield play to open the match, Svecia took the first look at goal and Hanan Belagt sent a ball through to Mikael Solskjaer, but Solskjaer was whistled offside by the Sarzonian referee, Tony Scalfano.

Svecia recieved another good chance in the 8th minute when Hannes Ljungberg picked up a loose ball inside the Sqornshelous half and dribbled in before being dispossesed. Luckily the ball fell to Solskjaer, but his shot went straight at the keeper, Carlos del Rio Perez.

Sqornshelous captain Igor Raskolnikov took a wild shot on goal in the 12th minute that seemed to catch the Svecikan defense off guard, but the ball whizzed just wide of the net, setting off a chorus of groans from the fans.

Defender Oskar Falköping picked up a yellow card in the 18th minute with a reckless challenge on Bjorn Arnesson just outside the Lightning penalty area. Raskolnikov took the free kick well and beat Piet van Meer with a curling shot, but the ball banged off the post. A rebound shot from Tito Castillan was blasted over the goal to the relief of a shaken Svecian team.

Svecia got on the board in the 34th minute with a free kick of their own from Mikael Solskjaer. Solskjaer´s powerful kick caught del Rio Perez off balance and although he got a hand on it, it wasnt enough to keep the ball out.

Svecia pulled further ahead in the 41st minute with a goal from Hanan Belagt. Belagt´s first shot from about 16 meters out was blocked by a defender, and fell to Joël Simão who missed the volley. By that time Belagt had rushed forward and manged to get a foot on the bouncing ball to redirect it past del Rio Perez.

Content with their halftime lead, Svecia played possession for the rest of the game, despite a few good attempts on goal from a frustrated Sqornshelous team. Piet van Meer was up to the challenge, and the excellent defense snuffed out any hope for a Sqornshelous comeback.

Rejistania

04-11-2004, 22:56

Communist equality in Commerce Heights

The Orange-Blues dropped points for the second time in this qualifiers. Against the capitaliZts from Commerce Heights, only a scoreless draw was archieved. The match in the heightian stadium started well for the Orange-Blues, but unfortunately, neither Y'he nor Harakemindanutikejil'he could capitalise the chance they had in the 5th minute in a corner-kick. The match started to show the qualities of a noraml rejistani match: a stong defense, a nonexisting offense and the opponents searching to break the "Catenaccio" with a flurry of attacks. This time however, the fan support for the Orange-Blues was lacking: the ticket prices in Commerce Heights were high enough to entice everyone but the hardcore-fans to watch the match on TV. The few rejistanians who were eitzher rich or mad enough to be in the stadium did not care about their low number and cheered in a volume to make it impossible for the capitaliZts to call their brokers.

Neither the Orange-Blues nor the capitalizts had more than about two good chances in the entire match despite the all-out-attack of Commerce Heights and the seldom, dangerous counters of Rejistania. A sudden activityx among the capitaliZt fans confused the players from both sides. Later, the reason was discovered: The quotation of one big company suddently dropped and all CapitaliZts eiher wanted to sell or buy depending on how optimistic they were. CapitaliZt player Friedrich Engels even gesticulated to the bench to make someone do his trades by proxy. That was the chance for Jentu Minikse (who replaced Harakemindanutikejil'he in the 67th minute). Unfortunately, the goalie could parry his shot. The match ended scoreless.

The result:
Commerce Heights 0
Rejistania 0

Bedistan

04-11-2004, 23:00

Matchday 13 scores have been posted. (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7406103&posted=1#post7406103)

EL CID THE HERO

04-11-2004, 23:05

EL CID NEWS.
NEWS YOU CAN USE.

sports news

PAYBACK

Allsio 0
EL CID THE HERO 2 (DENT 23rd CUMBERLAND 36th)

After a lossing to unfancyed Allsio on day 5 El Cid The Hero needed to put on a good show to prove they could still play with teams of all quality and to show that they would come back no matter how long it takes.

at the start of the match the cids lions looked the stronger side geting a few shoots off in the first few mins. However the Allsio defence held strong and wasn't letting anyone through.

Minewilr the Capatain Homer Dent was having a good bash at geting into the Allsio box and in the 23rd min intercepted a pass from an Allsio defender and sloted it into the goal.

the match returned to its pattion soon afterwards with ECTH geting all of the ball but no goals. the onlyother highlight of the half was a goal by Cumberland in the 36th min. A free kick by Brown hit Krells head and
by-passed the keeper to get to the back of the net. 2-0

The seconed half was unevent full with on 2 shoots on goal with Niemi not being called into action. the only problem of the match was when Desaillty fell over in the 56th, but Roy Hunter delt with it and got the ball up the pitch and out of danger.

"we played well today" Chris Skinner said afterwards "both in defence and attack. If we can play this well we should get through, and that is always my aim."

only 2 games are left untill it will become clear if El Cid have done it again. keep reading to find out if they can.

::WC18 Qualifying Schedule::
MD01: EL CID THE HERO V The Gulf States W 3-2
MD02: EL CID THE HERO V Melmond W 3-1
MD03: EL CID THE HERO V Oceaice L 2-3
MD04: Esth V EL CID THE HERO D 0-0
MD05: EL CID THE HERO V Allsio L 0-1
MD06: EL CID THE HERO V Raptor Claw W 1-0
MD07: EL CID THE HERO V NASTIC 2 W 2-1
MD08: The Gulf StatesV EL CID THE HERO D 1-1
MD09: MelmondV EL CID THE HERO L 1-0
MD10: OceaiceV EL CID THE HERO W 1-4
MD11: EL CID THE HERO V Esth L 0-2
MD12: Allsio V EL CID THE HERO W 0-2
MD13: Raptor Claw V EL CID THE HERO
MD14: NASTIC 2 V EL CID THE HERO

Group 9

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Melmond 12 8 1 3 22 15 7 25
2 Esth 12 6 3 3 18 11 7 21
3 EL CID THE HERO 12 6 2 4 18 13 5 20
4 NASTIC 2 12 6 1 5 20 21 -1 19
5 Raptor Claw 12 5 2 5 22 14 8 17
6 The Gulf States 12 4 4 4 16 16 0 16
7 Oceaice 12 2 3 7 14 27 -13 9
8 Allsio 12 2 2 8 7 20 -13 8

Legalese

04-11-2004, 23:40

Black and Red keep out of the Cellar
2-1 Victory over Liechtenistan ensures at least 7th place finish for Legalese

Legalese garnered its third victory in international play yesterday, defeating Liechtenistan by a 2-1 margin. The result, hardly challenged throughout, left the Legalites with 9 points in the tables with one matchday remaining, 5 ahead of 8th place Spalatium.

Jonny Lambert came through for Legalese, scoring both goals in the first 30 minutes of the match, receiving Man of the Match honors.

“I’m honored to be named it (Man of the Match),” Lambert commented afterwards, “but this was truly a team win. Without Carlos’ (Manachev) control of the ball up the middle, I’m not able to break free and score. Without the crew in the back, those two goals wouldn’t be enough. I’m glad that we were able to pull it off, and go home to Legalese National to take home one more win for the fans.”

Manager Robbie Heard shared Lambert’s sentiments.

“It’s been a long and hard qualifier for these boys”, said Heard, “But they kept it together, and won this game as a team. It will be good for us to come home, and grab another win in front of our home crowd.”

Legalese is not quite out of a shot for 6th place in group 8 just yet, standing 2 points behind Liechtenistan for the position. It will take a win over Spalatium by more than 2 goals if Liechtenistan draws with group winners Rejistania, and merely a win if they draw. Hopefully, their play will be enough for an invitation to the Cup of Harmony.

Sarzonia

04-11-2004, 23:42

Stars feeling 'Blues', lose 3-1

Top ranked and first place Rejistania read the reports that the Sarzonian national team would play aggressively and go in looking for a victory that would give the team favorable position to advance to the World Cup, but the Orange-Blues put on a clinic of world class football and the Stars coudln't keep up, losing 3-1 away.

The loss leaves the team two points behind Commerce Heights for the third and final World Cup qualifying position and needing to beat second place Lovisa and hope Commerce Heights loses at Northbank to earn the spot.

"We just couldn't compete with Rejistania," Coach Dave Wilson said. "We came in ready to play and we played the best we could, but they were just head and shoulders above us right there. The best team clearly won."

The Stars got off to a promising start. Midfielder Bobby Convey won a head ball in the 18 yard area and slotted the ball to reserve striker Kenny Cooper, who came in when forward Barry Alphonso suffered a slight hamstring pull. Cooper blasted a shot past goalkeeper Ninu Juru for a 1-0 lead 18 minutes in.

"It was nice to score that goal, but I'd rather have [standings] points," Cooper said. "Bobby sent me a great ball and I just finished it."

But the team's elation -- and lead -- were short lived. Forward Syku Lyku ran onto a loose ball in the Sarzonian third of the pitch and raced past defender Lance Alcina, who was a step too slow for the veteran forward. Lyku deked sweeper Corey Hemby and fired a soaring shot just past the outreached glove of Stars keeper Troy Perkins and the Orange-Blues drew the match level just three minutes after Cooper's tally.

The Stars might have felt fortunate to go into the locker room at the half level at 1-1, but the Orange-Blues played like a team insulted that the match was even that close. Lyku took the second half kickoff and put on a run that surprised everyone, including Wilson, and then blasted a shot that Perkins had no chance to stop for a goal less than a minute into the second half.

Wilson sent in reserve goalkeeper Mark Tanner, but he was seriously overmatched by fellow former Under 21 national teamer Salakerijasamenatira Harakemindanutikejil. Despite screams of "look out for that guy" by everyone on wearing the white and navy Sarzonian kits, the man the Orange-Blues call "Sa" deftly tucked a shot in just under Tanner's attempt to make a diving save and essentially put the match out of reach with 16 minutes remaining.

"We just have to get back to basics now," Wilson said. "We've got one match left and we must win or else." The Stars also have to hope Northbank can defeat Commerce Heights. A win or draw by the 15th ranked team in the world would eliminate the Stars unless Sarzonia defeats Lovisa by 11 goals.

Starblaydia

05-11-2004, 00:12

Day 13 Unlucky for Falcons
Starblaydia Take 2nd Place And Qualify!

Starblaydia have not only qualified for the 18th World Cup Finals in Bedistan and Eauz, but they also have a chance of improving on their 8-3-3 Qualification record of four years ago. Currently on 8 wins, 2 draws and 3 losses, a win would see Starblaydia rack up their best qualifying score so far.

At the home of the Starblaydi Tiberius Cup Winners, Hallad Reavers, Eomer Hall managed to get his fourth goal of the campaign and nineteenth in all, having not found the net in two previous games since his opener against Halfassedstates.

Wonderkid Tetsuo Naoki scored the first goal after waltzing around the Falcon's 'keeper, Bælükas, with some lightning-fast feet. The Falcon's attack was looking decidedly blunted as Jhanna City's Paulo Bachchan had obviously been giving the back-four tips on Titus Grinniman's play, as they effectively shut-down his club teammate. When J.J. Stark was pulled down by Läo Häi in the box on the half-hour, Aquiliana were on the run. Häi's play usuallyy involved shuting out wide-players like Stark, but J.J. was all over him and sped past him. The Falcon's left-back tugged a little too hard on Stark's shirt and the referee pointed to the spot.

All eyes turned to Captain and £40M Alan City Striker Simeone Di Bradini. To the surprise and applause of the home crowd he offered the spot-kick to Hallad-born-and-bred Eomer Hall. Hall smashed the penalty home, Bælükas had no chance. To be fair, a Brick Wall probably wouldn't have stood a chance and Eomer embarked upon a lap of honour. Some said it was the longest period of running he'd done all day.

The third and final nail in the Falcon Coffin was an excellently placed thirty-yard shot from Roberto Di Bradini that, although looked quite slow, had lots of curve on it, rising high into the back of the net. It was his last action of the match before being subsituted for his former teammate at Iskara Daii, Ki-Jana Carter.

All in all, a great victory for Starblaydia to confirm their participation in World Cup 18.

Final Score From the Hallad City Stadium:
Starblaydia 3 - 0 Aquiliana
(Naoki 9, Hall pen31, R Di Bradini 74) - (None)

Other Group 10 Reusults and Tables

Liverpool England [4]-[4] Halfassedstates
A second draw for the Philosophers leaves Liverpool England still unbeaten and Halfassedstates still with a mathematical chance of qualification from this eight-goal thriller
The Evil Umpire [3]-[0] The Latin Union
By beating The Latin Union the Umpires have also got themselves a chance of Qualification, albeit needing to overcome a Goal Difference of Ten.
Nova Britannicus [0]-[2] Sonova
A second disappointing loss to debutant Sonova for the Navy-Blues, though they will have one last shot as halting Liverpool England's chance of an Unbeaten Qualification Run.

Group 10 Table With One Game To Go
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
[Q] Liverpool England 13 11 2 0 39 16 23 35
[Q] Starblaydia 13 8 2 3 25 13 12 26
[3] Aquiliana 13 6 3 4 29 19 10 21
<4> Halfassedstates 13 5 3 5 25 24 1 18
<5> The Evil Umpire 13 5 3 5 18 18 0 18
<E> Nova Britannicus 13 2 4 7 17 27 -10 10
<E> The Latin Union 13 2 4 7 16 27 -11 10
<E> Sonova 13 2 1 10 12 37 -25 7

Aquiliana

05-11-2004, 01:02

Falcons Nosediving
1 point in last 3 matches brings in down to the last day

Aquiliana, during a period only decsribable as "RL takeover"*, has fallen off the wagon somewhat, losing their chance to lock up qualifying before the last game. As it stands, the team is still in 3rd place, 3 points above Halfassedstates and The Evil Umpire, meaning a loss tomorrow would disqualify the team, while a draw/win would qualify them.

The most recent collapse came at the hands of Starblaydia, who came back strong after being defeated in the first match by winning 3-0. Aquiliana's defense is looking tired, and the offense ineffectual, as the last day, more crucial than expected, matchday looms.

Again, a point would send the Falcons through to the Finals for the second straight Cup. However, they'll need all the luck they can get after the recent debacle.

Final Score:
Aquiliana 0
Starblaydia 3 (Naoki 9, Hall 31 [PK], R Di Bradini 74)

The Gameday Report

Back in MD7, when the Falcons were still winning matches, and the Halfassedstates team was temporarily disqualified, the team easily walked over Halfassedstates 3-0. Aquiliana is obviously still favored, but not by much during the slump they are currently in. Meanwhile the Halfassed side has racked up 5 points in their last 3 to keep within mathematical range of qualification. Hopefully, the Falcons will be able to pull themselves together and actually muster some offense.

Predictions:

Drew - Aquiliana 2-1
Mitch - Halfassedstates 1-0
Curt - Aquiliana 4-0

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Liverpool England 13 11 2 0 39 16 23 35
2 Starblaydia 13 8 2 3 25 13 12 26
3 Aquiliana 13 6 3 4 29 19 10 21
4 Halfassedstates 13 5 3 5 25 24 1 18
5 The Evil Umpire 13 5 3 5 18 18 0 18
6 Nova Britannicus 13 2 4 7 17 27 -10 10
7 The Latin Union 13 2 4 7 16 27 -11 10
8 Sonova 13 2 1 10 12 37 -25 7

MATCH SCHEDULE

MD1: Aquiliana 2-2 Nova Brittanicus
MD2: Aquiliana 1-2 Liverpool England
MD3: Aquiliana 5-0 Sonova
MD4: The Evil Umpire 1-1 Aquiliana
MD5: Aquiliana 2-1 The Latin Union
MD6: Aquiliana 3-1 Starblaydia
MD7: Aquiliana 3-0
MD8: Nova Brittanicus 0-3 Aquiliana
MD9: Liverpool England 2-1 Aquiliana
MD10: Sonova 2-4 Aquiliana
MD11: Aquiliana 2-2 The Evil Umpire
MD12: The Latin Union 3-2 Aquiliana
MD13: Starblaydia 3-0 Aquiliana
MD14: Halfassedstates vs. Aquiliana

*My team just lost in the playoffs, 7-3, to what may by Saturday night be the best team in the state of Michigan, so I haven't been able to get motivation for RPing lately. As a result...

Krytenia

05-11-2004, 01:04

THE HERALD SPORTS DIGEST

Slow Times At The Presses

HERE comes the latest from Krytenia's attempts to qualify for World Cup Eighteen.

Matchday Ten: Ashi To Ashes

RUTHLESSNESS abounds for the Krytenian National Team on Matchday 10 as they swept aside poor Ashibot. A brace from Acienko Rimmer and goals from Eddie Moliano and Chris Lydersen finished off the newcomers.

ASHIBOT 0-4 KRYTENIA
Scorers: Rimmer 2, Moliano, Lydersen

Matchday Eleven: S*ite Hart Lane

SORRY, did we say TEN were the Celestials' bogey side? We were very, very wrong. Spurland stole three points from this one despite being outplayed for the entire game. Spurland's big name midfielder Jon Lewis got the only goal on 73 minutes.

KRYTENIA 0-1 SPURLAND
Scorer: N/A

Matchday Twelve: Phoenix From The Flame

FOR the first time since their debut at the 15th World Cup, the Celestials lost two consecutive qualifying games. Then at least, they had the excuse of being World Cup newcomers and losing to the likes of Oglethorpia and Tadjikistan. Now they're the grandads, and in this game they had their Werthers well and truly mugged off them. Ari Smith's late effort was a mere conolation as Krytenia slumped to a three-one defeat.

FMJPHOENIX 3-1 KRYTENIA
Scorer: Smith

Matchday Thirteen: Kaze Karela

REJISTANIAN football at its "best". The Progressans wanted to keep their good defensive record, the Celestials wanted to make sure of not losing. Hence a dull-as-dishwater goalless draw. Oh well, there's always a bright side - Snub Nose lost to the Strike Birds.

KAZE PROGRESSA 0-0 KRYTENIA
Scorer: N/A

Matchday Fourteen Preview: Wassa Matta U? Gotta No Respect!

KRYTENIA travel to the Frost Free Borderlands for their final World Cup 18 qualifier, which is in effect a playoff. Their mission is simple: Defeat and they're out. Any points, any points at all, even a Karela 0-0, and the Celestials qualify for the World Cup for the third time.

PREDICTIONS:
Former head coach Ed Bye:
"Isserson has built a good defensive unit this year. I can't see Krytenia being too adventurous, but neither can i see the Hooligans scoring. 0-0.

Sports writer Joshua Gherouj:
"SN38 are too strong to miss two cups on the trot. I think the home crowd will help them out a lot. 2-0 SN38.

Former Team Captain Will Guarado:
"We beat the Hooligans once, we can do it again. 2-1 Krytenia.

So there you have it.

WHO GOES? THEY DECIDE!

Squornshelous

05-11-2004, 02:05

Last Game simply a formality

Squornshelous will wrap up qualifying at home against Oddslavo. Although the game is meaningless for us as far as group standings are concerned, we hope to win to finish qualifying in top ten position.
Predicted Score: Squornshelous 3-1 Oddslavo

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Raskolnikov: 14
Puente: 8
Castillan: 4
Arnesson: 3
Friedel: 1

Squornshelous' Qualifying Schedule:
wins losses draws

MD01: Squornshelous 5-1 Finrods
MD02: Sarcodina 1-2 Squornshelous
MD03: Squornshelous 3-0 Wella
MD04: Artoonia 1-4 Squornshelous
MD05: Svecia 2-1 Squornshelous
MD06: Dennisov 2-1 Squornshelous
MD07: Squornshelous 3-2 Oddslavo
--------------------------------------------------------
MD08: Finrods 1-2 Squornshelous
MD09: Squornshelous 2-0 Sarcodina
MD10: Wella 0-2 Squornshelous
MD11: Squornshelous 2-0 Artoonia
MD12: Squornshelous 0-2 Svecia
MD13: Squornshelous 3-1 Dennisov
MD14: Oddslavo v Squornshelous

Group 7 standings after Matchday 13:

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Svecia 13 11 2 0 34 8 26 35
2 Squornshelous 13 10 0 3 30 13 17 30
3 Oddslavo 13 4 4 5 17 18 -1 16
4 Artoonia 13 4 4 5 18 25 -7 16
5 Wella 13 4 2 7 20 22 -2 14
6 Finrods 13 3 3 7 14 22 -8 12
7 Dennisov 13 3 3 7 13 22 -9 12
8 Sarcodina 13 2 4 7 8 24 -16 10

Audioslavia

05-11-2004, 02:19

Group 3 Goes To The Death
Two sides from four can qualify

Audioslavia's 3-1 win at home to Oaker may not have mattered to Audioslavia's position, but it could prove costly to the Oakermen. With one match left to play and Avenging Altos out of the running after their defeat to Druida, the important part of group three looks like this:
2 Druida 13 7 2 4 19 18 1 23
3 Cockbill Street 13 5 6 2 25 16 9 21
4 Tadjikistan 13 6 2 5 28 20 8 20
5 Oaker 13 5 5 3 23 17 6 20And with the following games still to play:Avenging Altos Vs Cockbill Street
Oaker Vs Tadjikistan
Vollmeria Vs Druida

An Oaker defeat of Tadjikistan will only see them through if Cockbill Street fail to win away against Avenging Altos. Oaker have a slight advantage in that they are playing at home, but the Streetians are undefeated in seven games and are in the midst of their traditional second-half-of-qualifying push. They've come from fourth and twelve-points down to finish first before and the smart money is on them, but Avenging Altos are no slouches and if they hold CS to a draw then Oaker have their chance. Oaker however, are playing a side that are just as hungry for a world cup place after missing out on the last two when really they should have been there. Oaker-Tadjikistan will be the match of the round, although a draw will see both sides out of the competition if Cockbill Street avoid defeat at Avenging Altos.

For the street, defeat is not an option and neither is a draw if there is a winner in the Oaker-Tadjikistan match. CS do have the bonus of knowing that their fate is in their hands and an away win will see them through.

Tadjikistan need that tricky away win over Oaker to progress, although a draw and a CS defeat will definately see them through.

At the top of the pack is Druida. The Rainbows have had the easiest run-in in the last few days and only need to take a draw against Vollmeria (still without a win at the bottom of the group) to progress.

Jeremy Jaffacake's Odds for Qualifying
Druida 1-2
Cockbill Street 3-1
Oaker 5-1
Cockbill Street 11-2

I B J J G'N B

Jeruselem

05-11-2004, 04:48

Jeruselem Government News

Jeruselem MAKE HISTORY - PROGRESS PAST THE GROUP ROUND

The Jeruselem World Cup XVIII team. Many said they would fail and were too young to make an impact. In Group 1 with Iansisle, Crystilakere and Spaam who were favoured to make the top 3. Match day 13, the biblical number of bad luck, was not bad at all. Jeruselem was playing previously undefeated Iansisle who lost 3-0 to Spaam the game before. Iansisle does not normally lose two in row, but they did. After memories of World Cup XIII and XVII, where the last game loss resulted in failure, Jeruselem did not want to repeat history in XVIII.

Not today, they won 2-1 against the top dog Iansisle and secured 3rd position in Group 1. It was the first time Jeruselem had made it past the group round ever since they attempted to do since XI. Jeruselem's rivals did have black 13 day. Crystilakere held Spaam to a draw and the rest lost with New Dubai beating Slaikau 2-1 to get off the bottom of the table.

The Group 1 top 3 are now secure with Match day 14 results having no impact on the order of the top 3. Jeruselem have won 4 and draw 1 of their last 5 games to finish strongly while Spaam's recent two wins were too little too late to matter. The other teams crumbled and showed weakness in the face of real pressure.

Team member of the World Cup XIII, and now World Cup XVIII coach said "I'm not surprised. If you come close twice, it means it will happen some time. We've done it in World Cup XVIII and we'll see how far we go from here. This is great and history for our nation."

Group 1
Iansisle 1-2 Jeruselem
Spaam 2-2 Crystilakere
Slaikau 1-2 Wapahkoneta
Smoking Pits 1-2 New Dubai

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Iansisle 13 10 1 2 35 13 22 31
2 Crystilakere 13 8 3 2 35 20 15 27
3 Jeruselem 13 6 3 4 23 22 1 21
4 Spaam 13 3 6 4 18 19 -1 15
5 Slaikau 13 3 4 6 22 26 -4 13
6 Wapahkoneta 13 3 3 7 14 26 -12 12
7 New Dubai 13 2 5 6 19 29 -10 11
8 Smoking Pits 13 2 5 6 14 25 -11 11

Liverpool England

05-11-2004, 06:18

Jeremy Jaffacake's Odds for Qualifying
Druida 1-2
Cockbill Street 3-1
Oaker 5-1
Cockbill Street 11-2

I B J J G'N B

I'll put $5 on
3-1 CS, and $15 on 11-2 CS! [IE there's a mistake]

Big Pimento

05-11-2004, 06:29

BIG PIMENTO WINS!
Roll out the big blue titles, it's time to celebrate

For the first time in seemingly a million matches (but probably a little closer to eleven), Big Pimento have been able to collect a victory!

This is shocking news in the Land of the Pimentos, as the nation's been on an all-night party binge since word of the victory. The Pimento President has announced a national holiday tomorrow to basque in the glory of our 2-0 victory against Tippman, to be declared "The day we finally frickin won". Early indications say to expect to see more hangover-nursing than basquing.

Children took the streets and decorated the country with hand-drawn pictures and flowers. They released millions of helium-filled red balloons into the stratosphere for the entire world to see, as if to say, "Guess what? We finally won!" Deck the halls with boughs of holly.

Fa-la-la-la-la La-la La La

'Tis the season to be jolly! Big Pimento finally wins a match after being Group 5's bitch for the past year. In addition to the shocking, unexpected and completely unpredictable news of a win, Big Pimento has also been assured that they WILL NOT finish dead last, thus giving them their best finish in history. The people of Big Pimento didn't need another excuse to celebrate, but this seventh place finish in a group of eight is the cherry on top of the sundae for Pimentos. It's amazing, damn near divine right, Big Pimento won! WOOOOOOOO! Take the streets and say it loud and proud, Big Pimento won! What a shocker.

Liverpool England

05-11-2004, 06:38

Score Draw: Four-Four!

Yep, that's right. The Philosophers drew their second consecutive game 4-4 in an eight-goal thriller at home to Halfassedstates. Antoine Player, who came off the bech, grabbed two and one assist, with Tim Dennard and Kevin Johnson claiming the other two goals.

New National Record Set

Although the team were relatively difficult to beat in World Cup 7 (Qualifying only), the number of qualifiers then and now are much different. Thus, we can officially say that two new records have been set: Most Consecutive Games Won [11], and Longest Undefeated Run [13]. Congratulations to Ralph Sirx and the team.

Rejistania

05-11-2004, 12:17

Sweet revenge against Sarzonia

The Sarzonian Stars held the Orange-Blues to a draw in the first leg. It was clear that the team of Syku Lyku was jearning for revenge. The match was re-scheduled to the SLS R stadium (or as it is officially called: Sen-La-Sa~o Relekhati stadium) due to the high interst of fans. Rejistanis, who missed the match against the capitaliZts of Commerce Heights were eager to watch this match of the Orange-Blues. also a contingent of Sarzonian fans was there to watch match. If you take into account the lack of interest in the national team in other nations of group 8, it was a positive sign.

The Orange-Blues played a System Imdila for this match. As a surprise, Syku "SyMji" Lyku replaced Ji Y as striker. Salakerijasamenatira "Sa" Harakemindanutikeji of course started in this important match. The defense was not as karelaish as it was in the last matches and due to that, the Stars had some chances. One of them led to the 0:1 for the guests by Kenny Cooper in th 18th minute. The rejistani fans fell silent. only three minutes later, they had a reason to cheer again: A sudden attack of the Orange-Blues was sucessfull. SyMji was the one, who levelled the score. Goalkeeper Troy Perkins could not reach the ball with more than his fingertips. He can be lucky that the goal was not counted as own-goal for him. Despite some chances for both sides, the first half ended 1:1.

we do not know what Coach SyLy said to the team in the pause, but it had a notable effect on the team spirit and tactics. SyMji apparently wanted his place in the Guiness book of NationStates records: Directly after the kickoff, he ran upfields and directly scored the lead goal for Rejistania. The Stars were shocked and concentrated on defending in an attempt to make the match not too embarrssing. the coach of Sarzonia decided to replace the goalkeeper, apparently because he needed someone to blame. Due to that, nearly no rejistani chances were successfull. in the 74th minute however, "Sa" was on a run. He managed to outsmart three sarzonian players and shot below the Sarzonian substitute goalkeeper Mark Tanner. The shouts "not that guy" were answered by him with some words in his mother tongue, not worth repeating. Despite some chances for rejistania, the score remained 3:1 until the end of the game.

The result:
Rejistania 3 (Lyku 21st 46th, Harakemindanutikeji 74th)
Sarzonia 1 (Cooper 18)

Tadjikistan

05-11-2004, 13:52

Everything or Nothing

3 Cockbill Street
3 Tadjikistan

CS - The last two were to decide Tadjikistans fate in this World Cup, and it seems evrything will really depend on the last match in and against Oaker. The Tigers impressed with fast combinations and offensive football but there were too many holes in their defense, allowing the Streetians to make a goal for every goal the Tigers scored.

Zhukovs experiment payed off, he put Koshevoi on Zhigarovs place as offensive midfielder. Koshevoi's first action led him from the center into the Streetian defense where he got stuck and gave an assist to Timoshenko, Timoshenko controlled the ball with his body and drove it into the right corner of the Streetian goal with a powerful kick.

But an extra offensive midfielder, Koshevoi is actually a striker, made the Tadjik defense fall away from the rest of the team. A gap was created, in which Kirponos operated, sometimes aided by Pliiev. And it didnt take long before the Streetians discovered this flaw in the Tadjik defense. Streetian striker Heimfoething brought his team back to Tadjikistans height with a shot in the left corner of Yashins goal.

The Tadjiks were eager to win, and they put all their weight into it, Pliiev launched Gasparian but his shot was bouced off a Streeitan leg. Koshevoi took the corner kick and dropped the ball in the pack at the Streetian goal, off all heads Kuznetsovs reached the highest and he scored his first goal in the Qualifications. the 1-2 lead encouraged the Tigers to go on and control the match, 2 minutes later Pliievs sent Timoshenko on a raid through the Streetian lines but he found a good Streetian goalkeeper in his way.

During the second half Zhukov decided to put Lavrinovich on, he replaced Zaev who was playing in the shadow of his guards. It proved to be a good choice, after 7 minutes Lavrinovich freed himself and rushed over the right flank where he met Timoshenko, together they assaulted the Streetian goal, good combination football led them into the last 16 meters. Timoshenko gave the last pass to Lavrinovich, who deserved the credit for the move and Lavrinovich kicked the ball into the Streetian box with his left foot.

At 1-3 the Tigers calmed down and focused more on defense. And thats what the Streetians were waiting for, they charged the Tadjik center and broke through in the 70th minute. Cockbills Chalcedony put Egorov on the wrong foot and scored with a high shot in the left corner of the goal. The Streetians regained the will to score and win, at the same time the Tadjiks realized their opponents would not give up easily.

But the Tigers are used to an offensive style, Zhukov and Cherniakhovskij urged their team to defend their lead. The Tigers changed to a more defensive play, but to slow to stop a third Streetian goal. CS recuperated a bad Tadjik shot and quickly rushed forward, leaving several Tadjik midfielders behind them. Numerically superior, they passed the Tadjik defenders and put their equalizer into the net. The sudden Streetian move awoke the Tigers, they pulled back to their own half, defending the one point in the last ten minutes.

Zhukov was a bit dissapointed but had to admit the Streetian were Strong: 'We should have kept our 1-3 lead when we had it, we underestimeted our opponents and let them come back. We won our first match against them, but every match is different and the opponent learns from its mistakes. A quick 180 degre turn to defense would have given us 3 points, but we were to slow and underestimated the Streetian ability to recover. This is something we must work on if we want to get back to the top.'

But all is not lost, Cockbill Street has only one point more than the Tigers and Oaker lost its match in Audioslavia. The Tigers must win in Oaker if they want to qualify now, but much depends on the performance of the Tadjik oppponents. Cockbill Street visits Avenging Altos, the latter can no longer qualify but they are still strong enough to beat their MD14 opponents. Druida meets Vollmeria, maybe with some luck -and a small miracle- the Vollmerians might win their first match. Its really win or lose now.

Other matches in Group 3
Audioslavia 3-1 Oaker
Avenging Altos 0-2 Druida
Kipto-Mare 0-0 Vollmeria

Group 3

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Audioslavia 13 11 1 1 36 5 31 34
2 Druida 13 7 2 4 19 18 1 23
3 Cockbill Street 13 5 6 2 25 16 9 21
4 Tadjikistan 13 6 2 5 28 20 8 20
5 Oaker 13 5 5 3 23 17 6 20
6 Avenging Altos 13 4 3 6 11 17 -6 15
7 Kipto-Mare 13 2 1 10 9 35 -26 7
8 Vollmeria 13 0 4 9 7 30 -23 4

MD1 :Tadjikistan - Kipto-Mare W 3-2
MD2 :Tadjikistan - Audioslavia L 0-2
MD3 :Tadjikistan - Vollmeria W 6-0
MD4 :Avenging Altos - Tadjikistan L 1-0
MD5 :Tadjikistan - Druida W 4-2
MD6 :Tadjikistan - Cockbill street W 3-1
MD7 :Tadjikistan - Oaker L 1-2
MD8 :Kipto-Mare - TadjikistanW 2-4
MD9 :Audioslavia - Tadjikistan L 3-0
MD10: Vollmeria - Tadjikistan W 1-4
MD11: Tadjikistan - Avenging Altos D 0-0
MD12: Druida - Tadjikistan L 1-0
MD13: Cockbill Street - Tadjikistan D 3-3
MD14: Oaker - Tadjikistan

Maserrat

05-11-2004, 15:16

Closure

Last night, it seemed that something needed to be proved to the now extinct Somalialand. The 2-2 draw in Africa may not have been satisfactory, but all that was made up for in what was to be a big night, and one that ended in a 4-1 win for the home team - convincing by anybody's standards. Kylaai, Lykaia and Maserrat are all in with a chance of finishing fourth, just two points separating fourth from sixth, and it appears that Maserrat are going to have the toughest chance of achieving that position. In what was deemed to be the biggest game of the qualifying campaign for Maserrat (although that had arguably been replaced by yesterday's match against Somalialand), Vilita are to pay a visit to the Dynamos tonight, and whilst memories of the super 1-1 draw with the Vilitans remains fresh in everyone's minds, one can't help but feel that a complete and utter thrashing is about to be delivered.

"We've seen the best and the worst of Vilita in this tournament - mostly the best, unfortunately for us. We are going to need to work our socks off if we are to get anything out of this game and finish in fourth place. Another draw would be desirable, but I can't help but think about how many we are going to concede on home turf."

Yesterday's match saw Maserrat exceed Karpova's fifteen point target. Can they exceed expectations further by preventing Vilita from beating them a second time? Probably not, but then, that's what we said last time!

Druida

05-11-2004, 15:26

The Tribune Tribune
Serving Druid Tribune and the surrounding area

NEARLY THERE!!!
Trefor Blackmore onAvenging Altos 0 Druida 2

What has been an amazing campaign for Druida is carrying on in the same vein, as they thrashed Avenging Altos in their own back yard. Or opera house, depending on which way you look at it.

Anyway, the performance was a dominant one, during which there was only one team in it. The only chance the Altos had was a few minutes in after a slip by Thunk let them in, but nothing came of it. After that, it was all one way traffic. A double for Trefor Cymru, who only put into the team after a late injury to Trefor Merthyr, saw off teh challenge on a night when they could have had so many more. But, due to some bad luck and bad finishing, especially by Trefor Andrews, two it was.

However, what was more important for Druida is that they were the only one of the five remaining qualifying contenders to have won. Druida are now second in the table, two points clear of Cockbill Street, and three clear of Tadjikistan and Oaker, who are currently just outside the top three. These two play each other on the final day, so no matter what the rainbows do in their match in Vollmeria, they will finish in the top half of their group, which isn't bad for a team outside of the top 100 in the world.

However, people are going to be wanting so much more than that. Vollmeria, to put it in simple terms, are useless. They haven't won all the way through qualifying, and if they keep up that trend, then Druida will go through. However, it definately won't be an easy ride. Vollmeria have already had a couple of surprise draws, so they are definately not complete mugs. Plus, it is often thought that teams with nothing to play for but pride, like what Vollmeria are, will often relax and, whn they do, they play a hell of a lot better. So the rainbows can't go into this one thinking that it's all over bar the shouting. Of course, if Cockbill Street don't win, or teh Tadjikistan-Oaker game ends level, then it doesn't really matter too much what happens to us. But it'd be embarrassing to lose it now, wouldn't it?

Snub Nose 38

05-11-2004, 15:30

*as we walk past the news kiosk, the headline of today's scuttlebutt attracts our attention...*

Big Blue Headline Rolls Across Border - Mayhem (accompanied by Chaos) Ensues

A BIG BLUE headline rolled furiously across the southeastern border of the Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38 today, crushing several small villages, a border crossing, a number of rural dwellings, three mail boxes, and a brand-new dog house belonging to Casper Milquetoast's dog "Buffy". Buffy was not amused.

Mayhem, accompanied (as stated in todays headline) by Chaos, ensued.

Speaking of "sued" - The Ministry of the Interior, Exterior, and All Other Eriors announced intent to sue the Government, People, and specifically the News Media, of Big Pimento for damages. "Incompetence" (or, possibly, Incontinence - we didn't hear clearly), "Trespass", "Failure to Keep Pet on a Leash", and "Really, Just Fool-hardy Behavior (which, depending, may have to be spelled "Behaviour" in court)" were cited as possible grounds to squeeze the life out of the Big Pimentin (Pimentish? Pimentoid? Pimental?) economy.

"Retribution is mine" sayeth The Guy Currently In Charge Of Stuff For The Frost-Free Borderlands Of Snub Nose 38.

*we also notice a small article pointing out that, with one match left in WC18 qualifying, the hooligans are 3 points down and would require a convincing win to move on. knowing the hooligans recent record as we do, we are rather doubtful. well, aren't you?*

NEWI Cefn Druids

05-11-2004, 16:35

Presenter: "...and there'll be more from the Anwir-Cymru Championships of Spitting Fruit Pips Into Other Peoples' Eyes Until They Give Up tomorrow at the same time. But now on CBN, former NEWI Cefn Druids striker Björn-Trevor Frederiksson and the current Druids defensive coach Amos Hinton discuss how the qualifying campaign has gone for everyone so far."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Yes, thank you, and we're going to get straight into this by looking at Group One, and you've got to congratulate Jeruselem for what they've done, qualifying at, what, the eighth time of asking."

Amos Hinton: "No,no. You can't go round congratulating teams that have been around so long and never made it. There must be a reason why it never happened before."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Amos, they've been unlucky a few times. And anyway, you can't talk! The Druids were mediocre for years until they first qualified, you were happy to take congratulations then."

Amos Hinton: "No, no I wasn't. I was never happy because we should have been to the cup every time before that."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Amos, I'm not going to argue with you because I was there with you. I was a substitute that day, you were playing at the back, I know how happy yopu were. Anyway, let's stop the bickering, because in the same group, we can see that Spaam have had a disappointing campaign, after struggling for much of the campaign, they've made their way back up to fourth. They'll be disappointed with that."

Amos Hinton: "No, they won't be. Remember, they were seventh in the group at one point. And they've failed to qualify plenty of times before. It won't be too big a disappointment as it would have been for, say, Kingsford."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Well, I'll come to that now, as we look at the Druids' group, Group Two. Kingsford, along with The Belmore Family, have been beaten to third spot in the group by Eskrador... now, stop me if I'm wrong, but I've never heard of Eskrador in my life, a fact made even more amazing considering that I've even been there to see the Druids play."

Amos Hinton: "No, that would mean you have heard of them, but only through default. I'm not sure how they've managed to make it through, definately the biggest shock of qualifying, possibly ever, though definately since The Eagles Nest burst onto the scene at World Cup 12."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Indeed, and we can't look at Group 2 without saying well done to yourself, Amos, and the rest of the Druids management team and squad for yet another fantastic qualifying campaign in which the Driuds have the fourth best record overall behind Rejistania, Liverpool England and Svecia, all of whom are level on points with the Druids."

Amos Hinton: "No, we should have the best record of all. We should've beaten the Belmorians at The Hole."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Fair enough, well, onto Group Three, where only Audioslavia have definately qualified so far. However, there could well be another surprise on the cards, as our near and not-very-dear neighbours Druida are currently second in the group, and odds-on to go through."

Amos Hinton: "No, no, they have to play Vollmeria away, and home advantage could well get them their first win."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Well, unlikely I would have thought, but the Druidish-haters look like they could be following us over to Bedistan and Eauz, what of the other place, do you think that the big Tadjikistan and Oaker game will end up meaningless?"

Amos Hinton: "No, I've already told you. Druida will lose and the winner of that one, the Tadjiks, I fancy, will make it along with Cockbill Street,"

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "OK, well I'm going for the rainbows and the Streeters to edge out the tigers there. Onto Group Four, where Kaze Progressa and The Eagles Nest arre through, but Krytenia and Snub Nose 38 have, in effect, a play-off for the final qualifying place which will, undoubtedly, be the biggest match of the day."

Amos Hinton: "No, I do doubt it, the one in the last group I just talked about runs it close. And anyway, the "Cartoon Hooligans", as they've been dubbed this time around, must win or go out. Krytenia can go there and get a draw and still go through. It should still be good, though."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Indeed it should. Also, a mention to Fmjphoenix in that group, despite only being able to finish in the bottom half, they look to have a good infrastructure for the future. Well, onto Group Five, and everything there is sorted, TnUI, D2R and the Lemmings go through, disappointment for Magnus Valerius and The Weegies but, as it always seems to be with those two, there was never enough there to mount a sustained challenge."

Amos Hinton: "No, no, no. I believe that there are other factors at work that stops those two from ever making it."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Oh yeah?"

Amos Hinton: "No, no."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Hah! Caught you out!!!"

Amos Hinton: "No, no you didn't! I did it deliberately."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Haha! Got you there! Anyway, Group Six now. Again, no big surprises, with Vilita, One Red Dot and The Lowland Clans easily making it, an honourable mention to Maserrat, who have looked so promising in their first cup, but look at Somalialand, Amos. You gotta sympathise with someone who scores -66 points."

Amos Hinton: "No you don't. They got what they deserved. In fact, if I was in charge, I'd have taken away more points."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Well, I guess it's lucky for them that you're not, then, isn't it? Well, Group Seven next, Svecia and Squornshelous have eased through, but the rest are all close together. Just six points cover the last six teams, though only three still have a chance of making it, Oddslavo and Artoonia being two points ahead of Haircareland."

Amos Hinton: "No, that says 'Wella' there, Björn."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Ah, never mind. Anyway, Oddslavo and Artoonia play the second and first placed teams respectively, while Wella play host to Dennisov, who are by no means a knockover. Can you pick a qualifier out of the three?"

Amos Hinton: "No, no."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "How did I know you were going to say that? Well, I'm going to say that Wella will overcome the deficit and take the spot from the Oddslavorans. Group Eight next, where Rejistania and consistant qualifiers that no-one ever seems to fancy very much Lovisa have made it again. The other place is a toss-up between Commerce Heights and Sarzonia. Looking at the fixtures, surely Commerce Heights will go through."

Amos Hinton: "No, no. I've got a sneaking suspicion for the Stars."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: But CH are only playing Northbank, while Sarzonia play host to Lovisa, who are already through."

Amos Hinton: "No, no. You're not taking home advantage into consideration enough. That's why I fancy Sarzonia to go through."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Well, I think you're over-emphasising it, but anyway, Group Nine now. Melmond are through, and so are Esth at what is, if I remember correctly, just the second time of asking."

Amos Hinton: "No, no..."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Amos, there's nothing there that you can disagree with me about, is there?"

Amos Hinton: "No."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "So stop saying "No" to everything I say, OK?"

Amos Hinton: "No, I can't. It's a medical condition I have that means every response I make has to be negative, even if I don't want it to be."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Really?!?!?"

Amos Hinton: "No."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "You're a useless liar, Amos. In fact, you're not much use to this analysis. All you ever say is no, followed by some dumb-ass comment. Do you actually want to do this job."

Amos Hinton: "No, not really."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Well you go, and I'll do the rest of this on my own. Now where was I? Ah yes, there's still one place up for grabs in the group, with three teams still in for it, EL CID, NASTIC 2 and Raptor Claw. EL CID go to NASTIC 2, so... wait a minute, that means that there is no mathematical way in which Raptor Claw can go through. an EL CID win or a draw sees them go through, while if NASTIC 2 win, they qualify. Raptor Claw, contrary to official reports, are outta there. You got yet, Amos?"

Amos Hinton (in background): "No, not quite yet..."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Well, get a move on! The shows nearly over. Finally, Group Ten is all but decided. LE and Starblaydia are through, while Halfassedstates would have to put five past Aquilliana to overcome them, which seems highly unlikely, especially considering that the Halfassed team could well be stopped from going to the finals for other reasons, anyway. And so that's it. With only seven of the places in Bedistan and Eauz remaining to be taken, the last day of qualifying will be as exciting as ever! I've been Björn-Trevor Frederiksson and this has..."

Amos Hinton (shouting from down the corridor): "No, you've forgotten me! I've been Amos Hinton!"

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Yes, he has been Amos Hinton, and what a fat lot of good he's been to. From this last-day-of-qualifying preview show, it's a very goodnight from me."

Cockbill Street

05-11-2004, 18:52

Ankh-Morpork C-mail

STILL IN IT WITH DRAW
Singers Left As Opposition

Cockbill Street 3 (Heimfoething 12, Chalcedony 70, Axewielder 78)
Tadjikistan 3 (Timoshenko 1, Kuznetsov 26, Lavrinovich 52)

A disappointing defensive effort and a Tajik team who seemed intent on a variant of System Karela in the last ten minutes denied the Street a chance to hold second place in group three. Having drawn six of their thirteen games, the Street must be ruing their early point-losses against Vollmeria, Oaker and Druida, and the dire efforts of keeper Jonny Havell, who has been slipping dramatically of late. For reports, we urge readers to buy Tadjik newspapers, who have an extensive report on the match.

Despite being unbeaten in the last seven, the Street face a tough task in playing away at Avenging Altos and desperately needing a victory, because of the table situtation:

Druida 23 points, +1 (qualification)
Cockbill Street 21 points, +9 (qualification)
Oaker 20 points, +8
Tadjikistan 20 points, +8

Druida are playing Vollmeria, who are at the bottom of the group, and Oaker Tadjikistan. Now, that means (for those of you who haven't tired of the Audioslavian, Druidan and Tadjik calculations yet, or who), that the Street will be assured of qualification with a win, because neither Oaker nor Tadjikistan can get more than 23 points. However, they're very likely to get these 23 points, since they are playing each other - and although the odds on a draw are very low on Streetbet (2.10 at last check), a victory for either side is still more likely. A loss would definitely see the Streeters out, as that would set the goal difference to tie with Oaker and Tadjikistan, and the Tadjiks have scored 28 goals to the Streetians 25, so they would be ahead on scored goals unless the Streetians lost by 3-4.

---

The door of Siki's cell burst open just as he pondered how on earth the Street could concede six goals in two matches against Tadjikistan and Oaker. This time, though, a small, stocky, bearded figure could be seen against the light from the corridor.

"Oh, someone new," Siki said. "Helen was beginning to tire me with the nonsense about the Streetians having to win. Who are you then?"

"And she was equally tired with you saying that "you were not in full control of the team's actions, sitting in a cave without any communication to the players except a piece of paper with orders every so often". Oh, I forgot to introduce myself, my name is Geirr Spearthrower," the dwarf said, the inverted commas falling very neatly into place."

"well, it's true," Siki said. "I haven't watched a football match for five years, how do you think I am going to keep Hexatux updated with the latest developments in System Karela?"

"We do not see the need for the Streetians being experts at System Karela, that the feeble attempts made right now at least make for enjoyable football. However, results are beginning to become rather, um, embarrasing for us."

"You don't say. Well, it's not my fault."

"We can maybe strike a deal here. It's been almost ten years since your offense..."

"Yes, I don't need reminding. The date is burnt into my mind," Siki cut him off abruptly.

"And we feel that you may have "served your sentence", so to speak, even though there has been no official court ruling on your guilt. As such, we wish to make you an offer," Geirr said, almost friendly now.

"Amazing. Last time I accepted that I was put in a cell for four years. What now?"

"Well, you see, if the Streetians win then we have actually got a manager on our hands who has managed to take the Street to two successive World Cup Finals. That's quite an achievement, and we wish to reward that by offering you the manager job full-time."

"Do you mean, actually standing on the sidelines?" Siki said in disbelief.

"Yes. We realise that it will be an interesting job explaining to the C-mail how a suspected criminal can be national coach, but we'll take that as we go along."

"You said, if we win."

"Correctly observed. If we draw, we will personally send you on the first zeppelin to Abysmalistan, without any money, and without Hexatux. If you're lucky, you might get to coach an 8th-level side there," Geirr said with not the least level of spite.

Siki considered the offer for a moment. "All right," he eventually said, "if I can watch the match in Avenging Altos and go there with Hexatux."

The dwarf was taken aback for a second, then shouted "No! How on earth can we move Hexatux from here without somebody noticing? Or for that matter, yourself!"

"Is it right to have one man's life hinging on eleven men which he can not see and can not communicate with in an instant," Siki said.

"That doesn't solve the logistical problems," Geirr said in an apologetic tone. "I do wish we could have done something, but..."

"Hexatux is constructed for running without power for a long time. It's been running on a mixture of fertiliser and bark for the past four years, I'm sure we can make it work on the way."

"But how do we move it? And you?"

"Simplest first. Nobody is going to recognise me in Avenging Altos - well, from the latest I heard the country is a natural disaster and the place is in total chaos. And I can get out of here fairly easily, just land a zeppelin on the roof. I'm sure there are a few of those?" Siki asked.

"Yes, we do transport the players in zeppelins - but they don't normally land on the Department of Sport's roof...how are you going to explain that?" Geirr still sounded doubtful.

"Tell them we needed to bring our own grass to play on or something. Which brings me to the second part. All we need to do is to get Hexatux up the stairs, correct?"

"Yes."

"Just carry it, then! We've surely got a wheelbarrow we can transport it in between the stairs...it's not a problem!"

"Oh well, I suppose if it's just for the one match..."

"Well, obviously I need it transported for wherever we're travelling to. But that shouldn't be a problem once it is official. Besides, the presence of Hexatux isn't a secret?"

"No...I nearly forgot about that, it's been too much secrecy around this place lately."

"You tell me," Siki said. "At least in Rejistania, we know who's really the national coach."

"Do you, now?" Geirr said with what looked like a wink behind the mass of hair and helmet that covered his face.

The Eagles Nest

05-11-2004, 19:13

Strike Birds Take Out SN38 2-1
Lock Up At least Second;Showdown For Third In Group 4

The Strike Birds won their final home match of the season, a 2-1 win over a desperate Hooligan team. Horace and Secour scored the goals, with Secour breaking the tie late in the second half. The nest took care of business and the infamous Hooligan cheerleaders had been banned from traveling to the Nest after the sheer debacle they had caused (so bad, we don't ever EVER want to go into the details) during the 4-2 loss at Snub Nose 38.

Again, Horace came up lame and was substituted out. Rumors he may miss the final match against Qia are again the rage in the rumor mills. With the win, the nest moved within 2 points of group leading Kaze Progressa. If the Nest wins and the Progressans lose, then there is a chance that the Nest can win the group. Worst case however, they have the second position locked up.

All eyes now turn towards Snub Nose 38 as they play Krytenia for the third and final spot. Very interesting really. Snub Nose 38 has to win. period. a tie gives Krytenia the spot.

Now the Hooligans have beaten the Birds once, and Krytenia has lost both times they played the nest. Based on this, I will have to *sigh* root for the Hooligans. I only hope that Eauz and Bedistan has enough common sense to also ban the hooligan cheerleaders as the difference between teh two matches was night and day without them there.

Tickets are nearly out for the Nest's allotment of world Cup seats. All we await now is knowing where we will be playing so that our fans can start making their flight arrangements.

Sarzonia

05-11-2004, 19:23

Stars face last-ditch effort to advance

Like each of the last three World Cup qualifying campaigns, the Sarzonian national team has gone into one final match with a berth in the World Cup finals on the line. In each of the first two campaigns, they ended up one game short of qualifying.

"It seems like we're back to doing the same things we always do," Coach Dave Wilson said. "And we're facing the same team that knocked us into the Cup of Harmony in World Cup 16."

Lovisa defeated the debutant Stars 2-0 in Lovisa when the team needed a win to advance to the Finals. The Stars led Group 9 of World Cup 16 qualifying with two matches to go, but they were facing Tanah Burung and Lovisa, the two highest ranked teams in the group, in away matches. The Stars also had beaten Tanah Burung in a home match.

"We were probably undaunted at first because we had no idea what we were up against," midfielder Darwin Russell said. "When it got to those last two matches against Tanah Burung and Lovisa, we started to realize what lay ahead of us and we couldn't handle it."

In World Cup 17, the Stars finished in third place in Group 9 and faced then-fifth ranked Europa Brittania in Hendrix Stadium in Woodstock for the right to play in the finals. The scrappy underdog Stars played their best football game ever, but it wasn't enough to beat the world class team as the match extended to 119 minutes.

"We thought we were the better team for most of that match, but the only stat that matters is the final score," goalkeeper Troy Perkins said. "We weren't better where it counted."

A series of disasters surrounding the Cup of Harmony notwithstanding, the Stars came into this World Cup hoping things would be different. At first glance, nothing changed.

Unlike the two previous World Cups, however, the Stars played better in the second half than they did in the first half. The Stars had a run of four wins and one draw in five matches ended with a loss at Rejistania, while the team slumped in each of the previous two World Cup qualifying campaigns.

For the Stars (6-3-4, 22 points) to advance to the finals, they will need to beat Lovisa and hope Northbank can win their home match against Commerce Heights. If the Northbank-Commerce Heights match ends in a draw, the Stars would have to win by 11 goals to advance on goal differential. The Stars are hoping for a loss by the highly-regarded but third place Commerce Heights.

"It's a bad feeling having to rely on someone else, especially if they have nothing to play for," Wilson said. "But we have to do our jobs too or that result won't matter."

EL CID THE HERO

05-11-2004, 19:30

EL CID NEWS.
NEWS YOU CAN USE.

sports news

THE FINAL MATCH

On the eve of their final day the lions are in for their make or brake match verses NASTIC 2.

"if we lose this match we will get knocked out" said Chris Skinner in the match warm-up" we won the last game we played against them 2-1 but it was a home game and it was still a close match"

with only 2 points between the lions and NASTIC 2 whoever wins the game will get through to the WC. With both nations on tenterhooks this match has become important for the El Cid nations as it will prove once and for all that the last WC wasn't a fluk. keep reading to find out if they can pull it off

::WC18 Qualifying Schedule::
MD01: EL CID THE HERO V The Gulf States W 3-2
MD02: EL CID THE HERO V Melmond W 3-1
MD03: EL CID THE HERO V Oceaice L 2-3
MD04: Esth V EL CID THE HERO D 0-0
MD05: EL CID THE HERO V Allsio L 0-1
MD06: EL CID THE HERO V Raptor Claw W 1-0
MD07: EL CID THE HERO V NASTIC 2 W 2-1
MD08: The Gulf StatesV EL CID THE HERO D 1-1
MD09: MelmondV EL CID THE HERO L 1-0
MD10: OceaiceV EL CID THE HERO W 1-4
MD11: EL CID THE HERO V Esth L 0-2
MD12: Allsio V EL CID THE HERO W 0-2
MD13: Raptor Claw V EL CID THE HERO D 1-1
MD14: NASTIC 2 V EL CID THE HERO

Group 9

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Melmond 13 9 1 3 24 15 9 28
2 Esth 13 7 3 3 21 11 10 24
3 EL CID THE HERO 13 6 3 4 19 14 5 21
4 NASTIC 2 13 6 1 6 20 23 -3 19
5 Raptor Claw 13 5 3 5 23 15 8 18
6 The Gulf States 13 4 5 4 19 19 0 17
7 Oceaice 13 2 4 7 17 30 -13 10
8 Allsio 13 2 2 9 7 23 -16 8

OCC:if I win or tie the game i go through. if i lose NASTIC 2 goes through. Raptor Claw if out.

Crystilakere

05-11-2004, 19:32

Crystilakere Crystils
COACH: Hazem Emam

GK Emiliano Addis
D Jules Hitoto
D Filippo Ferraro <- He Scores Headers Off Corners
D Donato Arrigoni
M Oussent Nón
M Darren Whelan
M Giuseppe Zucco*
M Sebastan Wolf
F Reidulf Piao*
F Carlo Romano
F Toader Pold*

SUBSTITUTES
GK- Gaetano Novello, Alwasi Tystrup*, Alcir Barbara*
D- Alejandro Ayala, Dimitri Ferraro, Francesco Schiavon*, Salvatore Redaelli*, Rene' Niljssen*, Abdelilah Escobar*
M- Maurizio Cavallo, Riccardo Vecchi, Paolo Gallo, Massimiliano Rosi*, Giovanni Quira*
F- Christian Benedetti, Benjamin Kuhn*, Michael Baker*

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/ao/cryskit.gif

Bedistan

05-11-2004, 23:27

Matchday 14 scores have been posted. (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7414696&posted=1#post7414696) The draw for the group stage will take place sometime this weekend.

The Eagles Nest

05-11-2004, 23:37

TEN Once Again Blows Off Pointless Match

Qia's 1-1 Tie Sees Many Subs

World Cup XII: Loss to Spaam 1-2
World Cup XIII: Loss to Anti-Nazis 0-1
World Cup XIV: Tie to NASTIC 2 1-1
World Cup XVI: Loss to Spurland 1-2
World Cup XVII: Win against Halfassedstates 2-1

1-1-3

ugh.

These would be the last game in a qualifying round after the Nest has clinched moving on to the next round. As you can see, the Nest has a great tradition of using the last game to rest key players and well play like garbage...except for the last cup where a win meant they won the group.
and well, a win today would have meant winning the group, but they tied to Qia. Star middle Horace sat out this game, as did many other starters for the Nest to heal up some injuries. While the coaching staff shared they were happy that they did not lose this last game, realizing that they had a chance to get a win of the qualifer group made them a bit upset, but they point is they moved on. Most of the time we in the booth was watching the live feed of the Snub Nose romp over Krytenia to clinch their spot. Kaze Progressa, TEN, and Snub Nose 38 have qualfied to World Cup XVIII.

The team will be heading back to the Nest to rest up while the Host Committee pulls names to see who will play in which groups, and bets are opened now as to who will comprise the traditional "Group of Death"

Guess away.

Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
Q Kaze Progressa 14 10 3 1 32 11 21 33 33
Q The Eagles Nest 14 10 1 3 32 17 15 31 31
Q Snub Nose 38* 14 7 2 5 26 18 8 23 23
-------------------------------------------------------
4 Krytenia 14 7 2 5 22 17 5 23 23
5 Spurland 14 3 6 5 14 19 -5 15 15
6 Qia 14 4 3 7 22 28 -6 15 15
7 Fmjphoenix 14 3 4 7 17 24 -7 13 13
8 Ashibot 14 0 3 11 7 38 -31 3 3

SN38 moves on via Goal Differential.

The Eagle's Nest Strike Bird Qualification Run
Matchday 1: The Eagle's Nest vs. Ashibot Win 3-0
Matchday 2: The Eagle's Nest @ Krytenia Win 3-1
Matchday 3: The Eagle's Nest vs. Spurland Win 3-1
Matchday 4: The Eagle's Nest @ Fmjphoenix Win 2-1
Matchday 5: The Eagle's Nest vs. Kaze Progressa Loss 1-2
Matchday 6: The Eagle's Nest @ Snub Nose 38 Loss 2-4
Matchday 7: The Eagle's Nest vs. Qia Win 6-2
-----------------------------------------------------
Matchday 8: The Eagle's Nest @ Ashibot Win 3-2
Matchday 9: The Eagle's Nest vs. Krytenia Win 1-0
Matchday 10: The Eagle's Nest @ Spurland Win 3-0
Matchday 11: The Eagle's Nest vs. Fmjphoenix Win 2-1
Matchday 12: The Eagle's Nest @ Kaze Progressa Loss 0-1
Matchday 13: The Eagle's Nest vs. Snub Nose 38 Win 2-1
Matchday 14: The Eagle's Nest @ Qia Tie 1-1

Starblaydia

06-11-2004, 00:42

"You'll only Draw the Umpire with Kids"
3-3 Draw Equals the 8-3-3 of previous Qualifiers

With Qualification and Second Place in Group Ten assured by the previous thirteen matchdays, Starblaydia played their second-string team as they travelled to The Evil Umpire.

Starblaydia left with their unbeaten run intact and stretched to eight games as they drew in a six goal anti-climax. Kinda like The Sixth Sense when they told you the ending before you saw it (Ed: For those that don't know, Bruce Willis saved the plane on the snow-covered runway with flares whilst throwing Englishmen-playing-Germans off the roof of a tall building).

So, basically, Eomer scored, they they equalised, then Jakkinho managed one at the end of the first half. Then they pulled it back to 2-2, then 3-2. The SDB came on to resuce us and we drew 3-3.

Great, Eh? Roll on World Cup 18.

Group 10, Final Standings
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Liverpool England 14 12 2 0 43 16 27 38
2 Starblaydia 14 8 3 3 28 16 12 27
3 Aquiliana 14 6 3 5 30 21 9 21
- --------------- -- - - - -- -- - --
4 Halfassedstates 14 6 3 5 27 25 2 21
5 The Evil Umpire 14 5 4 5 21 21 0 19
6 The Latin Union 14 2 5 7 17 28 -11 11
7 Nova Britannicus 14 2 4 8 17 31 -14 10
8 Sonova 14 2 2 10 13 38 -25 8
Final Score:
The Evil Umpire 3 - 3 Starblaydia
(24, 51, 68) - (Hall 13, Jakkinho 45, S Di Bradini 87)

Svecia

06-11-2004, 01:06

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

COMPLACENT LIGHTNING
Early goal mars unbeaten record but leave Svecia in 1st

Artoonia 1 Svecia 0

- It was an unnecessary game, but we still would have liked to see the team finish unbeaten in qualification. After finishing with a record of 6-0-0 against the top three teams in the group, Svecia lost on the road to a team they previously beat 5-0.

A 12th minute goal directly off a free kick was the difference in the game and Svecia never seemed to be able to recover despite dominating possession time 65% to 35%.

A brief flurry of activity around the Artoonia goal in the 67th minute came to naught, and other than a free kick from Mikael Solskjaer, Svecia resigned themselves to outside shots that left the Artoonia keeper with little trouble.

The Lightning now travel back to their training facility in the warmer coastal city of Bäverborg to prepare for the finishing stages of the World Cup campaign.

Sarzonia

06-11-2004, 01:30

Stars win but fall short again

The Sarzonian national team came into the final match of World Cup 18 qualifying with two milestones it had yet to accomplish. One was to advance to the World Cup finals for the first time, even though the team deserved to go through in each of its first two appearances in World Cup qualifying. The other was to defeat Lovisa.

The Stars took care of only one of those two milestones today, defeating Lovisa for the first time in five tries, 1-0 in front of 71,436 at Hendrix Stadium in Woodstock. However, for the Stars to advance to the World Cup, second seeded and 15th ranked Commerce Heights would have to lose to fifth seed Northbank. With Commerce Heights winning 4-0, the Stars' fate was sealed.

"It's the same story as the previous two Cups," Coach Dave Wilson said. "We're obviously disappointed that we're not in the World Cup even though we probably deserved to go. But we've got to do our work from here on to make sure we get in the next time."

Forward and team captain Brian Wilson scored the only goal of the match in the 23rd minute from the spot as Lovisa's top defender fouled midfielder Darwin Russell in the 18 yard box. The second place team in Group 8 and 30th ranked team in the world never seriously threatened from there.

The Stars' celebration of their first win over Lovisa (they earned a draw against Lovisa in their first-ever meeting) was subdued because the Commerce Heights match went final in the 83rd minute of this match. The win by Commerce Heights, which was two points ahead of Sarzonia for the third and final berth from Group 8, officially eliminated the Stars from World Cup contention.

"We've got to go back to the drawing board," Brian Wilson said. "It hurts to lose out again."

Jeruselem

06-11-2004, 08:18

Jeruselem Government News

Jeruselem WC reserves lose 3-0 but it doesn't really matter

Jeruselem lost their last Group qualifying game to Crystilakere, but it did not change the fact their made it into the group stage. Coach David Becks played a team full of team members who would not normally play a game for a critical game.

He defended his decision "This game had no impact on Group 1 positions. If we won or lost, we are third regardless of any result. I expected the team to lose this but the rookies did well and they can say they did play a legit World Cup game now. I'm getting the team fit and ready for the group stage. We're ready and and we got this far, anything can happen. God willing".

While Crystilakere won 3-0, Iansisle lost their third game but the result as again irrelevant but they must be concerned about their form now. Spaam won 3-1 against Slaikau to finish 4th and New Dubai won AGAIN to finish 5th. Well done New Dubai!

When asked about who they wanted to avoid in the group stage Becks said "Bedistan, but anyone who makes the group stage is no slacker anyway. We're ready for anyone, and we'll play anyone"

Group 1
Smoking Pits 2-1 Iansisle
Slaikau 1-3 Spaam
Jeruselem 0-3 Crystilakere
New Dubai 4-3 Wapahkoneta

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Iansisle 14 10 1 3 36 15 21 31
2 Crystilakere 14 9 3 2 38 20 18 30
3 Jeruselem 14 6 3 5 23 25 -2 21
4 Spaam 14 4 6 4 21 20 1 18
5 New Dubai 14 3 5 6 23 32 -9 14
6 Smoking Pits 14 3 5 6 16 26 -10 14
7 Slaikau 14 3 4 7 23 29 -6 13
8 Wapahkoneta 14 3 3 8 17 30 -13 12

Iansisle

06-11-2004, 08:52

A Stretch, a Yawn, and a Scratch of the Butt
Ians prepare for World Cup

WESTERGATE, Iansisle -- Not too many Ians fans tuned into the radio at the Bull and Bloke tavern in Westergate to listen to their team’s reserves play the last game of World Cup XVIII’s qualifying.

Coach David Westmore has been resting his star players since the Ians qualified for a spot in the World Cup four games ago.

“It’s been a hard qualifying campaign,” said Westmore, “and I’m glad we had this chance to give guys like [forward] Brian [Lyon] and [midfielder] Geoff [Fletcher] a chance to catch their breath and lick their wounds.

“I don’t think there’s ever been an Ians team as ready for the World Cup as this one. Our reserves have some valuable practice time in case we need them - that reserve forwards team is starting to come together at last - and our stars are healthy and primed for whatever may come our way.”

Reporters asked Westmore what his estimate of the Ians’ chances in the World Cup were.

“As good as they’ve ever been,” said Westmore confidently. “We’ve got a great squad of guys. I’m really happy with the way James Goodman’s turned out. With him in the goal and Brian back at the offense’s helm, I don’t know who could stop us.” He flashed a wry grin. “Except, as always, Audioslavia. But that probably won’t happen.”

Without once discussing the loss to Smoking Pits, Westmore declared the press conference over.

“I have a wife and kids to tend to, fellows. Wish us luck in the World Cup!”

Tadjikistan

06-11-2004, 10:31

QUALIFIED

0 Oaker
2 Tadjikistan

Tiiimmmbbbbeerrr

Oaker - Audioslavia was already qualified, behind them four teams fought for the last two spots. Tadjikistan was one of them, one point behind Cockbill Street and three less than Druida. The second qualificationticket was almost certainly for Druida, facing the already eliminated Vollmeria. So the Tigers had to fight for the third spot in Oaker, the team that beat the Tigers in Dushanbe.

It wouldnt be easy, Zhukov knew that and sent a more normal team on the field. The defense was strengthened again with Lavrinovich, the rest of the team wasnt changed. The Tadjik defenders, led by Gromov, closed down every possible approach to the Tadjik goal. Oaker made 2 good moves towards it but both were stopped, the first by Yashin, the second by Kuznetsov.

The Tigers didnt wait for the next Oaker rush and cretaed a fine move in the 38th minute, Pliiev passing Oakers defense, sending a low pass to Timoshenko who kicked it into thethe left corner of the box. The Tadjik fans saw it was going well and gave their support to the team now. They must have known the Tigers were close to qualifying. During the pause Zhukov received news from the other games and was especially interested in that off Cockbill Street. The news Avenging Altos was leading turned a smile on his face, hurrying himself to the lockerroom to inform his team and encourage them to make the difference in the second half.

Oaker to, heard of the the Avenging Altos performance and they knew the door was open for them to qualify. Offcourse they had to get past the Tigers. And that was not easy at all. Oaker chraged over the sides and came close to their first goal but Gromov intervened and blocked the shot. Pliiev took the opportunity and won the ball in a deul with a Oaker defender, he made a long run through the center and found himself blocked on the left flank. He sent a pass to Gasparian, who controlled it his right knee and drove it into the Oaker-goal with his right foot. At 0-2, the Tigers controlled the match and refused to give up their lead. Tadjikistan was qualified.

At the end of the game, Zhukov was informed that Avenging Altos won its game from Cockbill Street with 4-1 and Druida defeated Vollmeria with the same result. Audioslavia, Druida and Tadjikistan can prepare themselves for the World Cup. Especially the Tigers will have much to learn from the qualifactionround, Zhukov will have to improve the defense if he wants to win anything on the World Cup.

Other matches in Group 3
Kipto-Mare 0-3 Audioslavia
Avenging Altos 4-1 Cockbill Street
Vollmeria 1-4 Druida

Group 3

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Audioslavia 14 12 1 1 39 5 34 37
2 Druida 14 8 2 4 23 19 4 26
3 Tadjikistan 14 7 2 5 30 20 10 23
4 Cockbill Street 14 5 6 3 26 20 6 21
5 Oaker 14 5 5 4 23 19 4 20
6 Avenging Altos 14 5 3 6 15 18 -3 18
7 Kipto-Mare 14 2 1 11 9 38 -29 7
8 Vollmeria 14 0 4 10 8 34 -26 4

MD1 :Tadjikistan - Kipto-Mare W 3-2
MD2 :Tadjikistan - Audioslavia L 0-2
MD3 :Tadjikistan - Vollmeria W 6-0
MD4 :Avenging Altos - Tadjikistan L 1-0
MD5 :Tadjikistan - Druida W 4-2
MD6 :Tadjikistan - Cockbill street W 3-1
MD7 :Tadjikistan - Oaker L 1-2
MD8 :Kipto-Mare - TadjikistanW 2-4
MD9 :Audioslavia - Tadjikistan L 3-0
MD10: Vollmeria - Tadjikistan W 1-4
MD11: Tadjikistan - Avenging Altos D 0-0
MD12: Druida - Tadjikistan L 1-0
MD13: Cockbill Street - Tadjikistan D 3-3
MD14: Oaker - Tadjikistan W 0-2

Aquiliana

06-11-2004, 15:27

Falcons Completely Collapse
But manage to qualify with the goals in the first half

It's just been the worst ever. Even more so than before we started winning in WC17. The most terrible results that this writer has ever received.

Over the last 4 days, the Aquilian national team has gone 0-1-3, one of the worst strecthes in national history. What makes it worse is that 3 out of the 4 teams were projected as almost sure victories.

"We need to get back to what got us there last time," said Coach Ed. "We're not playing how we should be, we're not possessing the ball - I mean, a loss to the Latin Union and Halfassedstes within 3 days? Not to mention Starblaydia, which I won't even comment on. I'll tell you this right now: If these kids don't get their act together, they won't win one game in the Finals - you can guarantee that."

In World Cup 17, the Falcons made an amazing qualifying run, after being 1-1-3 at one point, by going 3-2-0 over the last 5 games of the Qualifiers and making it into the group stage by beating highly favored Lovisa. The team then went 2-0-1 in the group stage to make it to the elimination rounds, where they knocked off then-6th-in-the-world Audioslavia before falling to eventual champions Rejistania. Hopefully, we're not seeing the reverse of that happening now, but this writer, for one, agrees with Coach Ed - if they can't pull themselves together, we're looking at an early exit.

Final Score:
Aquiliana 1 (Grinniman 82)
Halfassedstates 2 (25, 61)

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Liverpool England 14 12 2 0 43 16 27 38
2 Starblaydia 14 8 3 3 28 16 12 27
3 Aquiliana 14 6 3 5 30 21 9 21
4 Halfassedstates 14 6 3 5 27 25 2 21
5 The Evil Umpire 14 5 4 5 21 21 0 19
6 The Latin Union 14 2 5 7 17 28 -11 11
7 Nova Britannicus 14 2 4 8 17 31 -14 10
8 Sonova 14 2 2 10 13 38 -25 8

MATCH SCHEDULE

MD1: Aquiliana 2-2 Nova Brittanicus
MD2: Aquiliana 1-2 Liverpool England
MD3: Aquiliana 5-0 Sonova
MD4: The Evil Umpire 1-1 Aquiliana
MD5: Aquiliana 2-1 The Latin Union
MD6: Aquiliana 3-1 Starblaydia
MD7: Aquiliana 3-0
MD8: Nova Brittanicus 0-3 Aquiliana
MD9: Liverpool England 2-1 Aquiliana
MD10: Sonova 2-4 Aquiliana
MD11: Aquiliana 2-2 The Evil Umpire
MD12: The Latin Union 3-2 Aquiliana
MD13: Starblaydia 3-0 Aquiliana
MD14: Halfassedstates 2-1 Aquiliana

Bedistan

06-11-2004, 17:14

The Bedistan Sports Digest
INTERNATIONAL NEWS

Curse of Liverpool Over?
AOCAF results may mean exactly that

BISARLEY, Starblaydia -- What does a match played in Atlantian Oceania's regional cup have to do with the Lions' chances in World Cup XVIII, you ask? Probably nothing. Still, though, after an annoying early exit from the last World Cup at the hands of a little known nation called...oh...Liverpool England, who has been a bogey team for the Lions in the World Cup for the past forty years, many Lions fans are looking for a sign...any sign...to show that the "Curse of Liverpool" might possibly be ending.

As a result, several major Bedistani television networks including BSTV broadcasted live the AOCAF group stage match between Pedriana and Chacor at Obsidian Palace in Bisarley, home to Starblaydi Beta Division club Phraen Palace. Many older Bedistanis (and those in elementary school) probably know that the Empire of Pedriana was once a Bedistani dependency. As it turns out, Chacor has similar roots, being founded by settlers from none other than Liverpool England. As such, this match was effectively (some would say) a Bedistan-LE match, so despite Pedriana's higher ranking, Chacor was the undisputed favorite. But oh the humiliation for the Chacorian faithful as they would fall to a 3-1 loss to Pedriana! And the rejoicing in Bedistan could be heard as far away as Eauz. For the people believed: the curse was broken.

Is the curse truly broken? We don't know, of course. We won't know until we meet Liverpool England again. Indeed, the two might not meet this Cup. But if they do, know that Bedistani confidence is at an all-time high, and the Lions certainly have no intention of being walked all over by the Philosophers again!

Bedistan

06-11-2004, 22:02

[We are in the just-finished Fillmore National Stadium in Sonoma City, Bedistan. There are a few men standing in the middle of the pitch surrounded by some powerful-looking sound equipment. As one important-looking man steps up to the podium, the hundred-thousand-strong crowd goes silent.]

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Fillmore National Stadium. This venue is where, in a few months' time, we will see the World Cup XVIII championship match played. My name is Johnny Lewis, president of the Bedistan Football Association, and I am here to perform the official group draw for this illustrious World Cup."

[Lewis walks over to what looks like a sombrero. Yes, it's a sombrero, all right. An official-looking Eauzian guy is standing off to the side. Lewis picks up the hat and returns to the microphone.]

"The host nations' placement has been predetermined. The Bedistani national team will be in Group D, and the Eauzian national team will be in Group H. The remaining thirty qualifiers have been divided into four pots, or hats, if you will." [He gestures toward the sombrero in his left hand.] "The first pot contains the six highest-ranked qualifiers, and the three remaining pots each contain the next eight qualifiers in order of descending rank. So without further ado, the draw!"

[There is a moment of cheering.]

"We will begin with the first pot, the highest-ranked nations. In Group A..." [He reaches into the hat and pulls out what looks like a slip of paper.] "...Rejistania!" [Cheering all around; there are many Bedistani fans of Rejistanian football.] "In Group B...Vilita!"

[Most of the draw is really rather boring, so we'll spare you the gory details. Suffice it to say, the Bedistani crowd was quite happy they were not drawn with either Liverpool England or Commerce Heights. Not that there's been any performance problem against Commerce Heights, but you know how Murphy's Law works.]

"All the nations in Groups A, B, C, and D will play their group stage matches in the Empire of Eauz, and all the nations in Groups E, F, G, and H will be hosted here in the Grand Dominion of Bedistan. As we do not know which groups will be hosted in which Eauzian stadia, we are unable to provide this information as yet. Rest assured, we will get it to you as fast as possible, though. So on behalf of...um...my Eauzian colleague" [Lewis realizes he doesn't know the Eauzian guy's name] "and the Bedistan Football Association, good night."

[Before Lewis leaves the stadium, the group listings are broadcast on the jumbotron at the far end of the pitch. They read as follows:]

Group A
Rejistania
Dance 2 Revolution
Lemmitania
Eskrador

Group B
Vilita
Svecia
Crystilakere
Artoonia

Group C
The Eagle's Nest
Iansisle
Starblaydia
Druida

Group D
Bedistan
Melmond
Lovisa
EL CID THE HERO

Group E
NEWI Cefn Druids
Kaze Progressa
One Red Dot
Snub Nose 38

Group F
Audioslavia
Commerce Heights
Aquiliana
Tadjikistan

Group G
Total n Utter Insanity
Squornshelous
Turori
Jeruselem

Group H
Eauz
Liverpool England
The Lowland Clans
Esth

Match Schedule
MD1: 1v4, 2v3
MD2: 3v1, 4v2
MD3: 1v2, 3v4

Starblaydia

06-11-2004, 22:24

Group C Awaits Starblaydia
Eagles, Ians and Druids out to stop Starblaydia

The Democratic Republic of
The Eagles Nest (5)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/albania--74.jpg

Highest-ranked team in Group 4, The Eagles Nest were lacking both an apostrophe and bit of luck as Kaze Progressa out-pointed them in the Group. Starblaydia have never played this nation before in any footballing competition, so both teams will be in for a tense, nervous headache while they run through as much video tape of the opposition as possible.

Group 4

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Kaze Progressa 14 10 3 1 32 11 21 33
2 The Eagles Nest 14 10 1 3 32 17 15 31
3 Snub Nose 38 14 7 2 5 26 18 8 23

The United Kingdom of
Iansisle (11)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/iansisle.jpg

Top seeds in Group 1, Iansisle and Starblaydia's sporting history is a short but virulent one stretching acorss two sports. In Ice Hockey's Cherry Cup and two consecutive World Cup Qualification Campaigns, Starblaydia and Iansisle have come head-to-head on a number of occasions. So far the Iansislanders have proved the better team, but with this much at stake, who can tell which team will emerge victorious.

How they Qualified:

Group 1

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Iansisle 14 10 1 3 36 15 21 31
2 Crystilakere 14 9 3 2 38 20 18 30
3 Jeruselem 14 6 3 5 23 25 -2 21

The Protectorate of
Starblaydia (21)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/starblaydia.jpg

The self-titled 'perennial Dark Horses' are back for their second World Cup in four attempts at Qualification. Last time they proved themselves to be one of the Top Eight teams in that tournament. Even a highest-ever rank of 21st in the World did not mean they expected to be here, and any goals or points will be looked upon as great achievements.

How they Qualified:

Group 10

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Liverpool England 14 12 2 0 43 16 27 38
2 Starblaydia 14 8 3 3 28 16 12 27
3 Aquiliana 14 6 3 5 30 21 9 21

The People's Republic of
Druida (109)
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/druida.jpg

What with 69th-ranked Aquiliana making the Finals four years ago, Atlantian Oceania doesn't half produce some tip-top newly formaed nations. Besides Eskrador, Druida have certainly produced the greatest achievement of their sporting lives by qualifying first time above the likes of Cockbill Street, who they sent crashing into the Cup of Harmony. One would expect them to be crushed, but having got this far, who would dare say they won't go further?

How they Qualified:

Group 3

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Audioslavia 14 12 1 1 39 5 34 37
2 Druida 14 8 2 4 23 19 4 26
3 Tadjikistan 14 7 2 5 30 20 10 23

Match Schedule
MD1:
The Eagles Nest Vs Druida
Iansisle Vs Starblaydia
MD2:
Starblaydia Vs The Eagles Nest
Druida Vs Iansisle
MD3:
The Eagles Nest Vs Iansisle
Starblaydia Vs Druida

Eauz

06-11-2004, 22:54

Le LIBRE

Les Bleus ready to start over

After a disappointing first round ousting of Les Bleus, the Eauz national team is hoping that things can be turned around. Les Bleus have played some friendly matches, and have look impressive, but it will mean nothing, as they will start the World Cup in Bedistan. Les Bleus will be playing with about the same squad as the last world cup, with a few additions on the bench. Rousoi is back and hoping to rebound from the horrid showing in World Cup 17.

A few days ago, groups were drawn for World Cup 18, and Les Bleus will be playing in Bedistan in Group H. Group H consists of:

Group H
Eauz
Liverpool England
The Lowland Clans
Esth

A few of the names are familiar to Les Bleus, as they know all too well Liverpool England who knocked Eauz out of World Cup 17. The Lowland Clans are a regional rival, but Les Bleus don’t see them too often.

Liverpool England – As mentioned above, Les Bleus will be hoping to put the past behind them, and get over that historic defeat. Although this is 4 years later, Les Bleus will be remembering what happened to them, as most people assumed Les Bleus would go far in the last World Cup. Also to watch out for is the fact that Liverpool England is riding a hot streak, but has seemed to slowed down, ever since hitting 11 straight victories. Don’t be fooled by this though because they will be at the top of their game when the first match starts.
Prediction : First in Group H

The Lowland Clans – Les Bleus have always had trouble with this team in the past, but have not recently played them in any serious competition. The Lowland Clans qualified in 3rd, but don’t make the mistake that they were a weak team, for they could have finished 2nd, if not due to the goal difference between them and One Red Dot. Les Bleus will be hoping to sneak away with at least a tie and if possible a victory against this team. Look for them to be a spoiler in this group.
Prediction : Third in Group H

Esth – Esth is not well known to Les Bleus and are not sure how strong or weak they are as a team. Eauz officials have been doing a bit of research about them, but outside of that, Esth is a “ghost” team. Esth though did put up the same number of points as The Lowland Clans, and thus should be a good team overall, and was only 4 points away from the top spot in their group during the qualifying round. Les Bleus officials are hoping that they can get the Esth match over with first, so as they don’t have any “surprises” late disappointments.
Prediction : Forth or tied for third in Group H

Coaches comments: The Coach for Les Bleus said that the team will be ready for any team. He knows this is a fairly tough group, but he also knows that this team is about the same as the last one, and that this time, they have learned from lessons of the past. When we told him our predictions for Les Bleus in Group H, he said, “I’m sure we can take 1st place. I don’t care how great Liverpool England was during qualifying round, they weren’t up against any extremely tough challenges aside from Starblaydia. I think if our team can get its head past the problems they faced last world cup against LE, we can have a big chance at winning this cup.” He later went on saying “…Anyways, in the past, teams who have done VERY well in the Qualifying round always seem to struggle during the cup.”

Match Day 1: Eauz vs. Esth & Liverpool England vs. The Lowland Clans
Match Day 2: Eauz vs. The Lowland Clans & Esth vs. Liverpool England
Match Day 3: Eauz vs. Liverpool England & The Lowland Clans vs. Esth

Tadjikistan

07-11-2004, 00:05

Tigers in Group F

Dushanbe - WC17 was a dissapointing performance for the Tadjik Tigers as they failed to qualify, but now they are back where they left of 8 years ago. It will however, be harder than what they are used this time. Former Tadjik coach Triandafillov tells us what he thinks:

I wasnt far of with my qualification predictions, Druida did much better than i expected , They are trully the revelation of this World Cup. The Tigers dissapointed me a bit, not always playing as a team, luck was needed to qualify and i fear more luck will be necassary to get anywhere in this group.

First opponent is Audioslavia, 6th on the ranking list they beat Tadjikistan twice in the qualifications; 0-2 and 3-0. This match will probably end in a Tadjik loss, maybe if they have some luck they will tie but dont set your hopes on it. I expect the Slaves to finish first in this group.

The second team we meet is Commerce Heights, mediocre result in the Qualifying stage considering their ranking, lost twice from Lovisa. But there's a constant line in their performance, CM wont beat the Slaves but they'll get their points from Aquiliana and Tadjikistan. I think they'll go through in second place.

And last but not least Aquiliana, A good qualifying performance, a couple slip ups at the end but nothing really serious, Aquiliana Falcons are the opponents the Tadjiks can beat in this group. I believe they'll end third or fourth, all depends on how good the Tigers will do.

For Tadjikistan thats...
MD1: Audioslavia - Tadjikistan
MD2: Tadjikistan - Commerce Heights
MD3: Aquiliana - Tadjikistan

...and the other matches
MD1: Commerce Heights - Aquiliana
MD2: Aquiliana - Audioslavia
MD3: Audioslavia - Commerce Heights

The Eagles Nest

07-11-2004, 01:27

Strike Birds In Group C

No Familiar Teams In Group With The Eagles nest

The Eagle's Nest was chosen to be the "favorite" in Group C today in Bedistan. The top 8 teams were seperated for the first time in a while to ensure they do not play each other in the group matchdays.

The Nest will be playing in Group C, composed also of Iansisle, Starbladyia, and Druida. Group C matches will be held in Eauz, a place that the Nest played all of their games in World Cup XV as a host with Eauz.

So how does the Nest seem to match up? Iansisle can be a dangerous team, but they should be able to beat Druida and should be able to match up well against Starblaydia. Looking at the group, I fear that Druida may be beat up a lot by the three more experienced teams in this group. Whoever can get a win over Druida and a win over another team in this group should be able to clinch a spot in the Round of 16.

*Shadowry Figure* Are we ready?

*Lackey* Yes sir. Sir do we have to make it to the Quarterfinals before the great scheme can be unleashed.

SF: Yes you idiot. How many times do I have to explain it. The scmeme requires only 8 tams left, so that the......look I've explained it enough times. I'm not doing it again.

L: *Holds up a small object.* You sure this will work?

SF: Do i need to test it on you?

L: *gulp* no sir. I'll be going to Eauz now.

SF: Good. Don't forget your earplugs.

L: *Runs off*

SF: Wow. I can't get good help these days.

Iansisle

07-11-2004, 02:07

Aw, Mom! Starblaydia Again?!?
”But beating up on them is getting monotonous,” quoth David Westmore

SONOMA CITY, Bedistan -- The Ians press contingent at Filmore National Stadium moaned loudly as the Ians were drawn for the umpteen millionth time into a group with Starblaydia.

“I really hoped we’d be able to have at least one Starblaydia-free World Cup,” said a reporter from Sportsblurb! Illustrated. “They’re like one of those evil clowns - you (or the Gulls) bop ‘em in the nose, and they come right back up again.”

Starblaydia qualified second in their group behind Liverpool England and ahead of Aquiliana (who, the Ians were pleased to note, were not drawn into their group) with an 8-3-3 record and a +12 goal differential.

The quality of Group C is The Eagles Nest, the fifth ranked team in the world. They suffered a mildly embarrassing qualifying campaign, finishing 10-1-3 with a +15 GD and second in their group.

Bringing up the rear is surprise Druidia. The one hundred and ninth ranked team finished a strong second in Group 3. No one is sure how they will match up in the World Cup itself.

Happily absent from the Ians’ group is perennial bad-luck charm Audioslavia. The Slaves were drawn into F with Commerce Heights, Aquiliana, and Tadjikistan (also known as the OMG GROUP OF DEATH!!!!).

The Ians expect to move on past the group phase.

“We’re a much better team than we were last year,” said David Westmore, “Especially now that we have Lyon and Fletcher back. People who were watching us these past few games will be surprised by the difference between our main team and our reserves.”

Rejistania

07-11-2004, 02:08

All went down the Rhine for Liechtenistan

The Orange-Blues defeated Liechtenistan on the last day of quallifying. While other last matches were a matter of life and death for the participants, this match ment nothing at all. The Orange-Blues secured qualification a while ago and Liechtenistan secured elimination at about the same time. Despite that, the rheinpark Stadium was sold out completely. The playground near the stadium was occupied by local youths, who either wanted to see the match, but could not afford tickets.

Jentu Minikse, the promising new player was missing in the team roster. Since he will not play in the world cup, Jisu Jetta wanted him to play in the U21 team. The Orange-Blues started uncommonly offensive. The System Hangila was sucessfull in the 5th minute for the first time: Sijij Ha~e feinted, shot and brought the Orange-Blues ahead. In the 16th minute, a liechtenistan defender saw no other way to stop Salakerijasamenatira "Sa" Harakemindanutikejil than by a rude foul. The resulting free kick by Sasijilvenku "Sasi" Dikelesinivetisaru caused the 2:0. The orange-Blues changed instantly to a System Karela in an attempt to finish the qualifiers undefeated. The match was a good example of defensive soccer from the 18th minute to the 88th. In the 88th minute, Jenji Y was substituted in. He showed his class again and after 90 minutes, the score was 4:0 for the Rejis.

The result:
Liechtenistan 0
Rejistania 4 (Ha~e 5th, Dikelesinivetisaru 16th, Jenji Y 88th 89th)
----------------------------------------
"Hejida Mikila, anything new?"

"Hejida Daran'he. we have the groups!"

"Which groups?"

"For the world cup!"

"You should have told me... I am the president of the ASR."

"I know, but you were..."

"yes?"

"You were "busy" with Manija Haku..."

"Do I hear irony in this?"

"No, I just cannot give you more specific information, I do not know"

"You don't need to!"

"Of course. Would you like some facts about our group?"

"Yes!"

"We are in group a as first team, as you might have expected..."

"I might?"

"You know where we finished in world cup 17..."

"ah, right!"

"With us in group A are Dance 2 Revolution, Lemmitania and Eskrador!"

"Gojin, we will go 0-1-2!"

"Why?"

"We cannot beat Lemmitania, because we are ranked first and they aren't, we can not beat Dance 2 Revolution, because the group stage has no extra time and we can not beat Eskrador, because they are apparently destined to eliminate the favorites."

"Do they have a team at all?"

"I don't know!"

"We'll see"

Squornshelous

07-11-2004, 03:59

World Cup 18 Qualifying Top 10:

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts Grp
1 Rejistania 14 12 2 0 46 7 39 38 8
2 Liverpool England 14 12 2 0 43 16 27 38 10
3 NEWI Cefn Druids 14 12 2 0 28 8 20 38 2
4 Audioslavia 14 12 1 1 39 5 34 37 3
5 Vilita 14 11 2 1 41 16 25 35 6
6 Svecia 14 11 2 1 34 9 25 35 7
7 Kaze Progressa 14 10 3 1 32 11 21 33 4
8 Squornshelous 14 11 0 3 33 13 20 33 7
9 Total n Utter Insanity 14 10 3 1 32 13 19 33 5
10 Iansisle 14 10 1 3 36 15 21 31 1

Pschychoes ready to play in Group G
Squornshelous is drawn into Group G, along with Total n' Utter Insanity, Turori and Jeruselem. We are looking for good results from this draw. "TnUI will be a tough challenge, but with the way we've been playing, I think we can handle them," said striker Igor Raskolnikov.

Total n Utter Insanity:
We haven't had much sports contact with the Insanicans, however, both teams have been playing well, and while Squornshelous is ahead in standings, TnUI is ranked higher overall, making for an interesting showdown.

Turori:
We've never played this puppet land, but if they play half as well as their puppet masters they'll be a well executing ball team. They shouldn't cause us much trouble though.

Jeruselem:
The Pschychoes have met this side a few times in qualifying and played well against them. However, we are expecting a much better team than those early Jeruselem days.

Overall, this looks like a strong group, and, while it isn't the GoD, we may have some interesting results.

Predicted Finishing Order:
What, and jinx ourselves?

Squornshelous Scorers:
Raskolnikov: 14
Puente: 9
Castillan: 6
Arnesson: 3
Friedel: 1

Liverpool England

07-11-2004, 04:35

Our Prediction, and thoughts

Group A
Rejistania
Dance 2 Revolution
Lemmitania
Eskrador

Very difficult group for a new team to get drawn in, expect Eskrador to go 0-0-3. World Cup 17's two finalists are also in this group. Predicted Order: Rejistania, Lemmitania, Dance 2 Revolution, Eskrador

Group B
Vilita
Svecia
Crystilakere
Artoonia

Vilita had to qualify this time ound unlike last time, but they did quite well. They face region-mates Crystilakere, and also finals regulars Svecia. Artoonia might go 0-0-3. Order: Vilita, Svecia, Crystilakere, Artoonia

Group C
The Eagle's Nest
Iansisle
Starblaydia
Druida

Self-proclaimed perennial underachievers Starblaydia are in this group, and surprise package Druida are also in Group C. However, expect Druida to possibly claim a point off Iansisle, or The Eagle's Nest and go 0-1-2. Order: The Eagle's Nest, Starblaydia, Iansisle, Druida

Group D
Bedistan
Melmond
Lovisa
EL CID THE HERO

Hosts Bedistan are placed in this group, and WC17's third placed team Melmond might challenge them for top spot. EL CID might spring a surprise on Lovisa. Order: Bedistan, Melmond, EL CID THE HERO, Lovisa

Group E
NEWI Cefn Druids
Kaze Progressa
One Red Dot
Snub Nose 38

NEWI Cefn Druids, ex-perennial underacheivers, now top seeds in Group E. This is one of the toughest groups aside from Groups A and H, so don't be surprised if One Red Dot or Snub Nose38 pull off qualification. Order: Kaze Progressa, Snub Nose 38, NEWI Cefn Druids, One Red Dot

Group F
Audioslavia
Commerce Heights
Aquiliana
Tadjikistan

Aquiliana might pose a threat to Commerce Heights, but expect Audioslavia to walk all over the group. We must, however, note that Commerce Heights is an ex-winner of the cup. Order: Audioslavia, Commerce Heights, Aquiliana, Tadjikistan

Group G
Total n Utter Insanity
Squornshelous
Turori
Jeruselem

Total n Utter Insanity will most likely qualify from this group in first, but behind them, it's a free-for-all. Expect to possibly see the second qualification spot decided on Goal Difference, Goals For, or even a playoff [In history, only one group stage playoff has ever occured due to a tie - World Cup 12, Liverpool England played Halfassedstates after the two teams drew 1-1, and were tied on points, GD, and GF for second]. Order: Total n Utter Insanity, Squornshelous, Jeruselem, Turori

Group H
Eauz
Liverpool England
The Lowland Clans
Esth

And the Philosophers' group. The team has the join-best Qualifying run, 12-2-0, and have been widely tipped to win the group. Eauz were knocked out of World Cup 17 by the Philosophers at the group stage, too. Order: Liverpool England, The Lowland Cans, Eauz, Esth

Svecia

07-11-2004, 06:01

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

REVANCHE
Svecia draw enables rematch with Artoonia, showdown with Vilita

Group B
Vilita
Svecia
Crystilakere
Artoonia

- Ever since a Vilita newspaper predicted Svecia to finish fourth in their qualifying group behind in World Cup 16, Svecians have hated Vilita. It was some consolation that Svecia ended up finishing in first, but now the Lightning really have a chance to show Vilita what´s up.

Once again, Svecia are predicted to finish below the top position, but once again this only allows for more intense play from the Lightning, and a chance to prove everyone wrong, something the team has been known for since it took third place in WC5.

Another bright spot in the group draw is that Svecia have a chance to avenge their only loss of qualifying which came on the last match day to Artoonia. The Lightning played a flat game and failed to mount much momentum: a surprising result considering they had demolished Artoonia 5-0 in the previous match up. The team will be looking for a similar blowout this time around.

The last team, Crystilakere, is not known very well in Svecia. Despite excellent geography programs, a recent poll showed that only 5% of the population knows where Crystilakere is located. Because of the limited knowledge, Svecia must be extra careful coming into this game.

The Vilämna Dagens Nyheter will refrain from any predictions, except that they give their full support to the Svecikan Landslag. Hej Orange!

Jeruselem

07-11-2004, 06:38

Jeruselem Government News

It's Ali G for Jeruselem!

Jeruselem have been draw in Group G in World Cup XVIII. The names in this group are well known as the crafty Total n Utter Insanity, super Squornshelous and tenacious Turori are in with Jeruselem.

Jeruselem team coach David Becks said "If we do well or just flop, it's OK. If you look at the Group, it's daunting and at least we made it. We can win some games, but don't expect us to make the next round unless God wills it of course. All groups look tough and there are no easy games in the group rounds."

Crazy Dave's predictions
Total n Utter Insanity
Squornshelous
Turori
Jeruselem

Dodgy Dave's predictions
Squornshelous
Total n Utter Insanity
Jeruselem
Turori

Rabbi Goldstein's predictions (former WC player)
Total n Utter Insanity
Squornshelous
Jeruselem
Turori

Group G
Total n Utter Insanity
Squornshelous
Turori
Jeruselem

The Lowland Clans

07-11-2004, 07:49

GRAHAM CITY SUN
Damn Computers, and Damn Commies

Pontoon Perry, Resident Sports Expert and all-around A$$hole

SONOMA CITY, BEDISTAN - Well, I have to write this stupid article again. Stupid computers always screwing up my life, spam and junk, now deleting my articles at total randomness. This world is a sad, sad place. Anyhoo, we got drawn into another *supposedly* tough group today here in the excellent country of Bedistan (you should come try the escargot, thery're excellent [Ed: Shutup and get back on topic]). But in reality, there really is only one match you have to worry about. Which one would that be? Well, that's why I'm here isn't it...

Eauz are the stupid commies in this group. The only ones we really have no chance in a frozen over hell of beating. Well, we might be able to eek out a tie here, but there really is no chance of beating these guys. If we do, I will wear a "I'm Margarets...Well, you know" shirt for the rest of my days. You can hold me to that one too.

Why are Philosophers playing football? That's the question one must ask when thinking about Liverpool England. These guys will be key to watch, and our performance against them first game will dictate our place in our group. If we win (we're playing against thinkers, not fighters. We'll take it), we take second or first. If we lose, then kiss our butts back into obscurity.

Never heard of Esth before, and it will likely stay that way. Chalk up one in the win column for us.

Well, that's it ladies and gents, I'm off to enjoy some more Bedistani snails! [Ed: Oh gag me with a forklift...]

Total n Utter Insanity

07-11-2004, 07:54

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts Grp
8 Squornshelous 14 11 0 3 33 13 20 33 7
9 Total n Utter Insanity 14 10 3 1 32 13 19 33 5

Total n Utter Insanity:
We haven't had much sports contact with the Insanicans, however, both teams have been playing well, and while Squornshelous is ahead in points, TnUI is ranked higher overall, making for an interesting showdown.

The Minister of Sport, Mathematics and Fuzzy Dice would like to point out that the Squolm\fejnflsefjsjfief Education system is in need of some extra funding. Also the Squozslfmlsefrslkselk team may need some counselling when they are well and truly thumped by the Insanicians. Also he states that a new competition is being run to give the Insanicians a proper nickname, as Insanicians is merely a term for people from TnUI. There are no restrictions on people entering this competition, e.g. being from Audioslavia. Although phoney entrants will be tracked down by the TnUFBI.

Total n Utter Insanity

07-11-2004, 08:06

The names in this group are well known as the crafty Total n Utter Insanity, super Squornshelous and tenacious Turori are in with Jeruselem.

The Minister of Costcutting, Quangos and Dodgy Lawsuits advises that you retract the statement in which you called TnUI crafty, as in Insanician the word has negative connotations. May we suggest that you swap super and crafty around so it reads super Total n Utter Insanity and crafty Squornshelous, as we feel this would better describe the teams. Infact here are some other suggestions:

Great Total n Utter Insanity
Magnificent Total n Utter Insanity
Unbeatable Total n Utter Insanity

Deceptive Squornshelous
Ruthless Squornshelous
Evil Squornshelous

If you could do this in the next 24 hours it would save me a phone call to the legal department.

Audioslavia

07-11-2004, 14:48

There was a tiger, a falcon and a bulldog...
Familiar Faces in Group F

In a big important-looking event in Bedistan, the groups for the World Cup 18 finals were drawn, with Audioslavia facing three all-too familiar teams.

First comes Tadjikistan on the --th of June. Audioslavia's record against them stretches back as far as, ooh, six months ago. The 'slaves beat the tigers home and away 3-0 and 2-0 and have to be at least approaching the title of 'favourites for the match'. However, the Tigers have just taken a crash course in 'how to grind out result' from their sickeningly difficult last few games of their WC18 qualifying group. It has to be said the Tigers have changed. From being a team who played fast, flowing football but not getting anywhere to being a team which still plays good football but only as an afterthought to getting the result and stopping their opponents from getting into the game. Tadjikistan will be a test and the 'slaves will have to have their wits about them.

Six days later comes Aquilliana. Four years ago almost to the day, the Aquilliana Falcons dumped the 'slaves out of WC17 thanks to an extra-time goal, giving the 'slaves their ninth second-round defeat. The result of that game still hurts for many Audioslavians who were hoping - and expecting - that WC17 was going to be their year. The 'slaves are out for revenge, and if Aquilliana continue in the same form then they are pretty sure of getting it. Aquilliana lost their last three games in qualifying, a run which almost cost them their place in the finals, and are in awful form. However, if they can get a result in their first game against Commerce Heights then they'll be just as difficult to beat as they were last time out.

Last up comes Commerce Heights. Audioslavia's record against the capitalist scum is promising. The 'slaves took the first match 3-0 in the first round of World Cup 10, but that pales in comparison to the epic 4-3 win in the WC12 semi-final, otherwise known as Audioslavia's finest hour. The last two matches came in the world cup 15 qualifiers with CH taking the first match 1-0, the two sides sharing a point in a 1-1 draw in the reverse fixture. To say that CH are a shadow of the team that got to that WC12 semi or that won the world cup a few years later would be over-doing it a little, but still the WC18 side aren't as strong as former CH teams.

The group isn't quite the group of death (that monicker goes to the Druid/Kaza/ORD/Snub group) but will still be one that the 'slaves can't be sure of progressing from.

We'll be back with the first match of WC18 tommorow, Audioslavia Vs Tadjikistan round three. I B J J, G'N B

Bedistan

07-11-2004, 16:26

Announcer: "Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's the BSTV World Cup Eighteen preview show! Brought to you by...Lonnie Murphy's Gambling House - with 1,436 and a third locations throughout Bedistan to serve your gambling needs.....Dean's Seafood Hut - the official restaurant of World Cup Eighteen - try our escargot!.....and the Fillmore Motor Company, the most respected name in cars in all Terranordalis. Ladies and gentlemen, Mike Michaels and Mike Davidson!"

MM: "Thank you, and welcome to the show. As its name would appear to indicate, we are here to provide an opening analysis of this World Cup about to get underway here in Bedistan and Eauz. With me today is Bedistan Lions assistant manager Mike Davidson. How are you today, Mike?"

MD: "I'm doing great, Mike."

MM: "Good to hear, Mike. Well, we've got a good group of thirty-two nations about to battle it out for the most prestigious sporting title in all the world."

MD: "Yes, Mike, there usually are 32 of them."

MM: "Don't patronize me, Mike. Anyway, let's start with the Eauzian groups, specifically Group A. Defending champions and widely-regarded-as-best-team-in-the-world Rejistania head this group. In an interesting twist of fate, they nation they defeated in the final to win their second World Cup is also here - namely Dance 2 Revolution, an unlikely team to have reached the final in KPV. Another former champion, Lemmitania, can also be found here, and then there's...um...the list says Eskrador, but I'm sure that's a typo. Probably a very bad misspelling of Kingsford or something."

MD: "No, Mike, that's Eskrador, all right. Nobody knows how they got to the World Cup, not even the Eskradorese themselves. Well, all right, we don't know if they know or not, as we haven't heard a peep out of them all the way through qualifying. Anyway, the group is an obvious walk for the Orange-Blues, though what group isn't short of say, Bedistan-Eauz-TnUI? And even in that group they'd go 2-1-0 most likely. The second spot is a tossup between D2R and Lemmitania, though I've gotta give the nod to the Twice-Dancing Revolutionaries here. Lemmitania used to be a world class side, but they've severely declined the past couple decades. As for Eskrador, expect them to go 0-0-3, and only intervention from Margaret will keep them from being possibly the first team in World Cup history to have a double-digit negative goal difference at the end."

MM: "Wow, that's harsh, Mike. Anyway, let's go to Group B. Here we have Vilita, one of the strongest teams in qualifying and the only one to score at least six goals in two separate matches, tying an NSWC record for largest winning margin as they beat the **** out of Maldunia nine-nil. Then there's Svecia, one of the oldest nations still on the scene, participating in the World Cup even before Bedistan did, and they've recently returned to the world's elite after a couple decades of minor obscurity. Then there's Crystilakere, a regularly mediocre side that not too many people know a whole lot about. Artoonia is like Crystilakere, only more so."

MD: "Mike, this group's not hard to pick the winners from. Svecia and Vilita have this one in the bag, and the only question is which one will take first place. I'd say Vilita here, as Svecia will be resting just slightly to prepare for the knockout rounds. Crystilakere and Artoonia will fade back into the haze of obscurity from which they came."

MM: "I have to agree with that, Mike. Group C is a bit more interesting, though. There is perennial qualifying powerhouse The Eagle's Nest, who actually did a bit worse than usual this time around. Iansisle were once constant underachievers, but now it's no surprise that they've found their way into the World Cup. Starblaydia had an excellent outing in World Cup 17, getting into the knockout stages their first time in. And then there is wild-card Druida, who despite not even being ranked in the top 100 in the world nevertheless managed an incredible second-place finish in their qualifying group, knocking out the likes of Cockbill Street and Avenging Altos."

MD: "An interesting group indeed, Mike. Here, I really think TEN are going to suffer from their poor form of late, and I'm picking constant rivals Iansisle and Starblaydia to go through. Druida might play the role of a spoiler here, but I really think their incredible luck so far will run out and we won't see them in the knockout rounds."

MM: "We now come to what is probably the most important group from a Bedistani point of view, Mike: Group D. This is the group that the world-renowned Bedistan Lions are in, the same Lions that have reached the semifinals five times - more than any other nation. They will be meeting the Fearless Farmers of Melmond for the first time in this group. Also on the list are Lovisa and EL CID THE HERO. What do you think your chances are, Mike?"

MD: "Firstly, don't shout at me, Mike. I know El Cid is in the group. Well, obviously I'm biased, but I just can't see the Lions not going through. We're training harder than ever before, because we want that World Cup, dammit. And what better place to get the Cup than at Fillmore National? The question is which other team will go through, and my vote goes to the Fearless Farmers. Another team with a very impressive performance in their first Cup four years ago, and I'm sure they'll go through and perhaps even win the group. Something in the back of my mind is telling me we'll do a Svecia, but we're certainly trying for 3-0-0 here. Lovisa is a constantly underrated team, though, and don't be surprised if they pull off an upset or two. The Cid's Lions will be no match for the Bedistan Lions, and they will leave Eauz after this first round."

MM: "As always, good luck to you and your team, Mike. So that does it for the Eauzian groups, let's look at the groups here in Bedistan now. Group E has been called by some the 'group of death'. NEWI Cefn Druids have recently been the hottest thing since The Eagle's Nest. Kaze Progressa have never managed to get close to World Cup glory as yet, but they are a consistently solid, dependable team. One Red Dot has really been falling off the map lately, and it's really a lack of competition in the qualifiers that got them here. Also, Snub Nose 38 are returning to the Cup after failing to qualify last time around."

MD: "Mike, I'm not sure you should write off One Red Dot so easily. They're another one of those nations that always does well despite people never hearing anything about them. They're like Gesamtkuntswerk, who I just realized didn't even participate in qualifying this time around - guess it just wasn't werking anymore. NEWI should win the group without too much trouble, but I'll have to pick One Red Dot to take second place. In fact, I'd say the Progressans will be in the cellar - they have a habit of making it to the World Cup and not doing much else once they're there. They might get a point out of the Hooligans, but that's about it."

MM: "Well, Mike, to each his own. The next group, Group F, is another toughie. There's Audioslavia, just about always a fantastic side unless they're playing Squornshelous. Also (as much as it pains me to say it) former world champions Commerce Heights in this group, as well as last Cup's shockers Aquiliana, who successfully pulled a Squorn last time around, reaching the quarterfinals in their first attempt to even qualify. Last but certainly not least is Tadjikistan, who have been having a really good run lately."

MD: "Mike, even though a lot of people are saying Group E is the Group of Death, I think Group F gets that honor. Audioslavia will almost certainly go through, but I'd need to find a three-sided coin and flip it to figure out second place. If I have to pick one, it'd be Aquiliana. They proved last time around that they are no slouches, and they seemed to be pretty well rested for the Cup as well. Tadjikistan and CH will fight it out for honor in third place."

MM: "Heh, I think you're showing your anti-CH bias there, Mike, 'cause I think they'll take second. Group G is next: another group of constant underachievers from TnUI, with Squornshelous, Turori, and Jeruselem thrown in for good measure."

MD: "Mike, I'll not even waste my time with this group. TnUI and Squornshelous. Period. Expect them both to go 2-1-0, drawing with each other. Turori and Jeruselem are out of luck."

MM: "That's even more harsh, Mike. Anyway, let's look at the final group, where co-hosts Eauz are located, as well as the universally-hated-by-Bedistani-football-fans Liverpool England. The Lowland Clans and Esth round out the group."

MD: "Well, Mike, I'm sure you know how much I'd love to predict LE to go 0-0-3 with a -12 GD, but the fact is they're probably going to win the group. Eauz and TLC will battle it out for second, with Esth just not quite having the oomph yet to make a difference. In fact, I'd almost go so far as to say it's gonna be another Bedistan-LE final like in World Cup 8, but that's still a long way off, so anything can happen."

MM: "Indeed, Mike, anything can happen. But we're out of time for now. Up next here on BSTV: Bedistan Premier League First Division action between the Jamaica Giants and AC Crotts. Should be a good match. For Mike Davidson, I'm Mike Michaels. Goodbye, everyone."

Eauz

07-11-2004, 16:27

Stadiums to be used in Group stages in Eauz

Stadiums for Group A:

Match Day 1: 1 vs. 4 - Le Monde en Blanc
2 vs. 3 - Le Feu

Match Day 2: 3 vs. 1 - Stade de Monteuz
4 vs. 2 - Socialism

Match Day 3: 1 vs. 2 - Le Monde en Blanc
3 vs. 4 - Stade de Monteuz

Stadiums for Group B:

Match Day 1: 1 vs. 4 - Parc des Mémoire
2 vs. 3 - Le Stade d'Eauz

Match Day 2: 3 vs. 1 - Le Feu
4 vs. 2 - Bordeux

Match Day 3: 1 vs. 2 - Mont-Vilneau
3 vs. 4 - Le Monde en Blanc

Stadiums for Group C:

Match Day 1: 1 vs. 4 - Mont-Vilneau
2 vs. 3 - Stade de Monteuz

Match Day 2: 3 vs. 1 - Le Feu
4 vs. 2 - Mont-Vilneau

Match Day 3: 1 vs. 2 - Le Stade d'Eauz
3 vs. 4 - Bordeux

Stadiums for Group D:

Match Day 1: 1 vs. 4 - Socialism
2 vs. 3 - Le Stade d'Eauz

Match Day 2: 3 vs. 1 - Parc des Mémoire
4 vs. 2 - Le Monde en Blanc

Match Day 3: 1 vs. 2 - Socialism
3 vs. 4 - Stade de Monteuz

*If a stadium is being used more than once on the same day, well then it will be a day/night thing, and if I made a mistake and there is 3 or 4 matches played, well... then that is what will happen, this isn't Real Life or anything anyways... :)

Bedistan

07-11-2004, 16:50

Bedistani Groups - Venues

Stadia for Group E:

Match Day 1: 1 vs. 4 - Odyssey Lane, Grant City
2 vs. 3 - Kingston Stadium, Jamaica

Match Day 2: 3 vs. 1 - Odyssey Lane, Grant City
4 vs. 2 - Kingston Stadium, Jamaica

Match Day 3: 1 vs. 2 - Kingston Stadium, Jamaica
3 vs. 4 - Odyssey Lane, Grant City

Stadia for Group F:

Match Day 1: 1 vs. 4 - Fillmore National Stadium, Sonoma City
2 vs. 3 - Stephen Rogers Mem. Stad., Yuba

Match Day 2: 3 vs. 1 - Fillmore National Stadium, Sonoma City
4 vs. 2 - Stephen Rogers Mem. Stad., Yuba

Match Day 3: 1 vs. 2 - Stephen Rogers Mem. Stad., Yuba
3 vs. 4 - Fillmore National Stadium, Sonoma City
Stadia for Group G:

Match Day 1: 1 vs. 4 - Akoki Stadium, Port Lusambo
2 vs. 3 - South Coast Arena, Hendersonburg

Match Day 2: 3 vs. 1 - Akoki Stadium, Port Lusambo
4 vs. 2 - South Coast Arena, Hendersonburg

Match Day 3: 1 vs. 2 - South Coast Arena, Hendersonburg
3 vs. 4 - Akoki Stadium, Port Lusambo

Stadia for Group H:

Match Day 1: 1 vs. 4 - Holmes Stadium, Columbia
2 vs. 3 - Sunscape Field, Sonovago City

Match Day 2: 3 vs. 1 - Holmes Stadium, Columbia
4 vs. 2 - Sunscape Field, Sonovago City

Match Day 3: 1 vs. 2 - Sunscape Field, Sonovago City
3 vs. 4 - Holmes Stadium, Columbia

Winner of Group A will play 2nd place in Group B in the second round.
Winner of Group B will play 2nd place in Group A in the second round.
Winner C plays 2nd place D
Winner D plays 2nd place C
Winner E plays 2nd place F
Winner F plays 2nd place E
Winner G plays 2nd place H
Winner H plays 2nd place G

Squornshelous

07-11-2004, 20:10

Deceptive Squornshelous
Ruthless Squornshelous
Evil Squornshelous

Pschychoes puzzled by apparant insults

The Total n Utter Insanity propaganda wizards have come out with the above "slanders" of the Squornshelan team. However, the team hasn't really taken any of them to heart. "We're here for a competition," said Forward Rodolfo Puente, "aren't we supposed to be ruthless?" "If we decieve everyone else with our gameplan, we'll probably win more games," noted Midfielder Bjorn Arnesson. In Fonetik, the official language of Squornshelous, evil, in addition to its normal meaning, also has a secondary meaning. "It means clever scheming and well planned out." explained Squornshelan etymologist Rudy Kelso.
In related news, the Squorshelous Bureau of Cheese, Statistics and Extremely Dodgy Lawsuits chairman Jim Harvey has altered a statement released earlier this week. "What we meant to say about our group is that Squornshelous is ahead of TnUI in standings, not in points." However, the Bureau has refused to refer to the TnUI side as something other than "Insanicans". "Even if that isn't their official nickname," explained Harvey, "they're still Insanicans aren't they? That would be like saying that our players aren't Squornshelan's, they're just Pschychoes."

EL CID THE HERO

07-11-2004, 20:57

EL CID NEWS.
NEWS YOU CAN USE.

sports news

BACK AGAIN

El Cid is back for their second WC in a row, after a bit of a hit and miss campain a 1 all draw against NASTIC 2 was all that was needed to alow the lions to progress to the finals.

A world cup run that could have been better than it was with losses to Allsio and Oceaice. Games that El Cid should have one on paper were lost showing that ECTH underporformed.

"We were not as good as we could have been." was the senterments of Chris Skinner after the final game was over "But we still came 3rd and that is always our target. We had a few problems with some players not playing in the World Cup but we overcame them so i feal we did ok.

In this new world cup El Cid The hero have been put in a tougth group with Bedistan - "host nation ranked 2 NOT GOOD FOR EL CID"
Melmond - "El Cid won on day 2 Melmond on day 9 Could go ever way"
Lovisa - "Never met before 3 ranks between them Here's hoping ECTH win

Keep reading to see if ECTH can do better than last time. will give you new info daly new on the team. we wish them the best.

::WC18 Qualifying Schedule::
MD01: EL CID THE HERO V The Gulf States W 3-2
MD02: EL CID THE HERO V Melmond W 3-1
MD03: EL CID THE HERO V Oceaice L 2-3
MD04: Esth V EL CID THE HERO D 0-0
MD05: EL CID THE HERO V Allsio L 0-1
MD06: EL CID THE HERO V Raptor Claw W 1-0
MD07: EL CID THE HERO V NASTIC 2 W 2-1
MD08: The Gulf StatesV EL CID THE HERO D 1-1
MD09: MelmondV EL CID THE HERO L 1-0
MD10: OceaiceV EL CID THE HERO W 1-4
MD11: EL CID THE HERO V Esth L 0-2
MD12: Allsio V EL CID THE HERO W 0-2
MD13: Raptor Claw V EL CID THE HERO D 1-1
MD14: NASTIC 2 V EL CID THE HERO

Group D
Bedistan
Melmond
Lovisa
EL CID THE HERO

MD1 BED V CID
MD2 MEL V CID
MD3 LOV V CID

Total n Utter Insanity

07-11-2004, 21:00

However, the Bureau has refused to refer to the TnUI side as something other than "Insanicans". "Even if that isn't their official nickname," explained Harvey, "they're still Insanicans aren't they? That would be like saying that our players aren't Squornshelan's, they're just Pschychoes."

The Minister of Affirmative Action, Apartheid and Getting Foreign Nations to spell Insanicians correctly believes you could benefit from a lecture he is giving. Also we believed standardizing Squomvclskemfljfljseji would be a good idea within TnUI. Currently you just say Squo, then stick your tongue out so its hard to sound intelligent, just listen to Jeremy Jaffacake and you'll know what I mean. Then you randomly make sounds. After holding a referendum we decided to shorten the name to Stupidheads.

Squornshelous

07-11-2004, 21:32

Currently you just say Squo, then stick your tongue out so its hard to sound intelligent, just listen to Jeremy Jaffacake and you'll know what I mean. Then you randomly make sounds. After holding a referendum we decided to shorten the name to Stupidheads.

Rudy Kelso has made several observations on the public statement released by the Insaician government.

1. Having the population of a country named Total n Utter Insanity sound intelligent isn't a very realistic goal. I belive they should be satisfied that the populace doesn't run around in the street gibbering incomprehensibly and waving the sleeves of their straightjackets at each other.

2. Total n Utter Insanity is, in fact, harder to write than Squornshelous, the former containing 19 letters in four words, and the latter containing 13 letters in one word.

3. Jeremy Jaffacake is hardly an unbiased observer in the increasingly popular debate over our name. Apparantly he is still unhappy about the result of a match 52 years ago. The fact that Jaffacake was likely not alive or aware of international football at the time makes me wonder about his credibility as a sports analyst. Also Jaffacake is still a wanted for relieving himself into a storage tank in a bottled water plant.

4. Stupidheads is hardly the orignal name I would expect TnUI to come up with, as it was first applied to us by the Kingford FA after their 4-0 defeat at the hands of the Pschychoes. I, for one, am profoundly dissapointed, and suggest the TnUI minister of Propaganda and whatever go and have his doctor take a look at his imagination, it appears to be broken.

Antaeus Rising

07-11-2004, 22:08

Insults

The Minister of Racism, Cultural Arts and Statistics would like to point out that if you were well informed you would know TnUI is named after the Insane Stones found in these lands and as such insulting our cultural heritage is a derogatory and racist action that is not looked on very kindly. The shortened version of our name commonly recognised across the globe is TnUI, which is much easier to spell than the non-existent shorten version of Stupidheads. Although we are looking into just plain "Stupid" which we can all agree is very simple. Stupidheads might not be original, but it was the lead contender in the vote.

72% Stupidheads [Kingsford]
19% Idiots [TnUI]
4% Losers [Dance2Revolution]
3% Slani [Rejistania]
1% <censored> [TnUI]
1% Other

Forwarded by Antaen Airmail, getting you there the day before yesterday's tomorrow today!

Squornshelous

07-11-2004, 22:28

The Minister of Mayonaise, Inane Debate, and Fitting into very small spaces has picked up the case where our etymology department left off. "It is well known among most nations that Squornshelous is often reffered to as Squorn. I would also point your attention to the fact that Rudy Kelso is an etymologist, not a historian. He doesn't know the detailed history of TnUI and he doesn't particularly care." Moreover, the people of Squornshelous have finally decided to strike back against those who would slander us. The following are new designations for several footballing nations:

Charcoal
Total n Utter Retards
Slaves of the Ear
Technoheads

Total n Utter Insanity

07-11-2004, 22:48

"That's just the type of behaviour we have come to expect from Stupidians." Said the Minister of Hypocrisy, Double Standards and Alien Cloning. "They just insult everyone and think they can get away with it, well I'm sure the international community is with me when it says enough is enough." TnUI has imposed an embargo on all the Stupid products coming into TnUI. This will be a major blow for the Stupidian economy which heavily relies on exporting a lack of common sense to "dumb down" intelligent nations.

The Eagles Nest

07-11-2004, 22:50

As a TEN trade envoy pulls into the embassy in the Nest capital of Segornia, he is greeted by a large arguing fight between the diplomats between Squornshelous and Total n Utter Insanity. He stops his car and rolls down then window and listens for a while.....

he decides it is better to come later, and rolls his window up and drives off.

"Wow. I'm glad the Strike Birds aren't in a group with either of them right now."

Squornshelous

07-11-2004, 23:21

The Minister of Turkey Drumsticks, Arguments and Claustrophobia advises a nation in which Private Enterprise is illegal to refrain from cricticizing the economy of a capitalist nation such as Squornshelous. The ministry of Economics, Rabbits and Protecting Others from Themselves implores the Government of TnUI to remove these sanctions for their own benefit. "Our nation has been isolationist for years, but their ecnomomy might not survive this trade embargo," said an ambassador working on the case.
The Great Prophet Zarquon, leader of our nation has declared that he will give a speech on this subject later tonight.

Audioslavia

08-11-2004, 01:40

3. Jeremy Jaffacake is hardly an unbiased observer in the increasingly popular debate over our name. Apparantly he is still unhappy about the result of a match 52 years ago. The fact that Jaffacake was likely not alive or aware of international football at the time makes me wonder about his credibility as a sports analyst. Also Jaffacake is still a wanted for relieving himself into a storage tank in a bottled water plant.

Press Release from ARSGRAFFITI (Audiosalvian Regulatory System for Greatly Retarded And Foolish Foreign Insanician Troubles Inc.)

Our ministy usually deals with this kind of foreign twaddle when it comes from TnUI, but in this case we thought we'd make an exception. Deceptive/Ruthless/Evil/Stupidhead Squornshelous have claimed that Jeremy Jaffacake was not born and/or had a paticular inability to comprehend international football 52 years ago, when the fledgling Squornshelous team scored a narrow 1*-0 victory over Audioslavia. We at ARSGRAFFITI would like to set the record straight:

Jeremy Jaffacake is thirty-six old. In the period between a world cup final and the next world cup's qualifiers he is cryogenically frozen, and so only ages one year in every four. As he started broadcasting when he was twenty and Audioslavia have been in about sixteen world cups, it is fair to say that he is twenty six. Also for him, Audioslavia's unfortunate loss to the stupidheads was just fifteen years ago and so he has a right to still be pissed off.

Finally, Jaffacake was indeed a suspect of 'relieving himself the yellow way' by the Halfassedstatian police, but thanks to the HAS police being incompetent and/or auto-deleted, Jaffacake has been let off and his record remains in tact. He left the cave with a clean name and a beard.

Although Liverpool England also has a warrant for his arrest, Audioslavia have long since denied the existence of LE and the average Audioslavian - thanks to training from the TnUFBI and the Totally Insane and Terrible Inquisition For Unlucky Countrymen of Kingsford and/or Audioslavia (TITIFUCKA) - believes that World Cup 8 was won by Endray Island.

*FPISTONs (Foreign Propaganda Insitutions of Suspect, Troublesome or Obscene Nature) may multiply this number by any integer between, but not including, 3 and 5

Squornshelous

08-11-2004, 02:17

The following is a speech given by The Great Prophet Zarquon:

I speak to you today on a matter of utmost importance. Our national football team and indeed, our very way of life is under attack by foreign nations. We have long tolerated the incessant name calling that is associated with our great nation’s name, but we believe that this time, these nations, namely Total n Utter Insanity, have gone too far. Not only have they begun with their regular slander of our name, but they have sided themselves along with our worst sports enemies. Our rivalry with Audioslavia is one of the biggest in international football, and Dance 2 Revolution’s fluke defeat of our team last cup is something we still have to avenge. Also, in siding with Kingsford, who are hardly a worthwhile opponent for Squornshelous anymore. They have shown the extent to which their shallowness extends. They are simply a criminal administration trying to draw the attention of a great and illustrious nation. They have also tried to hurt our general population with their petty embargo. We need their involvement in our national economy as much as we need to declare war on Automagfreek. However, we can now clearly point out which countries are our true enemies. I know that I speak for every Squornshelan when I say we will show no mercy in all future dealings with this group of infidels.
http://www.checkpoint-online.ch/CheckPoint/Images/N-Hezbollah-1.jpg

Audioslavia

08-11-2004, 03:59

Press Release from SSSSRS (Society for Setting Stupid Squornshelean Records Straight):

Audioslavia will never, ever, ever side herself with Total 'n Utter Insanity

Total n Utter Insanity

08-11-2004, 04:12

The Minister of Hypocrisy, Double Standards and Alien Cloning agrees that Total n Utter Insanity and Audioslavia will never be in agreement on any subject, ever.

Hiiraan

08-11-2004, 05:25

Total n Utter Insanity

08-11-2004, 06:32

OOC:Sorry to came in when least needed but, WHERE IS BEDISTAN AND THE WCC POLICE WHEN NEEDED This supposed to be a WORLD CUP RP thread, not ACCUSE EACH OTHER THREAD,

I suggest we go back to world cup disscussion

OOC: This is not the discussion thread, this is the RP thread. Squorn and I are fighting IC to hype our upcoming match. None of it is serious and if you look closely you can see the humour. Any reply to this OOC can be posted to the discussion thread, I'm merely putting this here so LE doesn't come in screaming at you and start a large OOC war.

Rejistania

08-11-2004, 07:36

We are doomed, claim analysts

After the groups were released, the traditional rejistani pessimism started. Nations like Eskrador are always good to surprise everyone and advancing very far. Dance 2 Revolution and Lemmitania are former world cup finalists. Lemmitania's glory is maybe faded a bit during the course of time between world cup X and now, but that has to mean very little seeing that the Orange-Blues and the Lemmings met twice and both times the team ranked first lost by 1 goal. Dance 2 Revolution somehow managed to get into the final of World Cup 17. There, they were defeated in extra time by a goal of SyMji in the 111th minute. Since the group stage has no extra time, not too much is expected. As another factor, the matches are held in Eauz, this is one of the nations which bid to host world cup 15, which according to every rejistani soccer fan never took place*. According to sources inside the ASR, Teke Daran's comment was: "Gojin!".

*in case you are foreigner: it is not possible that the Orange-Blues are eliminated in group stage and since that is not possible and the rejistani national team was eliminated in group stage, world cup 15 never took place (as well as the match against and in Oglethorpia).

Liverpool England

08-11-2004, 07:37

To: TGICORLFLEIA*
From: Liverpool Engand Government

Greetings, GICORLFLEIA,
We would like to note that Jeremy Jaffacake is not wanted in our nation. He is merely being offered asylum, an offer which has been in the air for over 2 years. We hope you take note of this.

Press Secretary
Liverpool England Foreign Affairs Department

*The Guy In Charge Of Receiving Letters From Liverpool England In Audioslavia

Jeruselem

08-11-2004, 13:29

Druida

08-11-2004, 15:59

Unnamed helper: "President, President, sir! I've got some bad news for you!"

President Margaret Smith: "You haven't messed up the under-21s have you?"

Unnamed helper: "Well, it hasn't all gone completely to plan, but no, it isn't the young spectrums this time."

President Smith: "So, what is it?"

Unnamed helper: "It's the R.P. machine, sir."

President Smith: "What about it?"

Unnamed helper: "Well, you know that it isn't really a very good model."

President Smith: "Nonsense. It is a highly efficient model!"

Unnamed helper: "It was when it was made over 20 years ago, but technology has advanced quite a bit since then."

President Smith: "It... has?"

Unnamed helper: "Yes. So whatever we feed into the thing has got to be enough to counter what anyone else puts into their RPs by about ten times."

President Smith: "Well, surely we could manage that?"

Unnamed helper: "You're also forgetting a few other things."

President Smith: "I am?"

Unnamed helper: "Yes, you are. For a start, our team is ranked nowhere near as highly as The Eagles Nest, Starblaydia and Iansisle. In fact, we are considered as being so far behind them all that there is no amount of the magical input stuff for the machine that could come near closing the gap."

President Smith: "There isn't?"

Unnamed helper: "No. Add to that the fact that even if we could afford a huge amount of input, which we can't since you spent... no, wasted half the national budget on that pointless Margaretisation scheme, even if we could afford it, the rest of the teams in the group have the same amount at least."

President Smith: "Says who?"

Unnamed helper: "Say the Druidan Intelligence Force."

President Smith: "Never heard of them. Anyway, surely that is some kind of contradiction?"

Unnamed helper: "Well, to be honest, there is actually only one member, and he's an adopted Rejistanian."

President Smith: Well, bring him in, I want to see this Druidan Intelligence Force."

Unnamed helper: "Well, I'm not sure there's much point. He doesn't speak much English or Mock Welsh."

President Smith: "Don't worry about that. Just bring him in."

Unnamed helper: "Er, OK..."

*Unnamed helper leaves the room, before re-entering shortly afterwards.*

Unnamed helper: "President Smith, I give you the Druidan Intelligence Force."

*A short, bespeccled man follows the unnamed helper into the room.*

President Smith: "Well, nice to meet you."

*The Druidan Intelligence Force (DIF) stares at the president blankly.*

President Smith: "Would you like to take a seat?"

*The DIF continues staring vacantly at President Smith.*

President Smith: "Um... when you say he doesn't speak much of our languages, surely that should have been he doesn't speak any of our languages!"

Unnamed helper: "Well, yes I did mean that, but..."

President Smith: "Hah! Some intelligence that is!"

Unnamed helper: "As I was about to continue, he usually speaks through an interpreter."

President Smith: "Well, bring his interpreter in, then, dumbass!"

Unnamed helper: "He's on holiday, so I can't!"

President Smith: "Well, hasn't he got a replacement?"

Unnamed helper: "We can't afford replacements after you spent all our money, remember!"

President Smith: "So how is he going to talk to us?"

Unnamed helper: "Well, I guess we just... wait..."

President Smith: "Ah, get outta here!"

NEWI Cefn Druids

08-11-2004, 17:58

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "I'm here with Amos Hinton reflecting on the group draw that the Druids have received for the World Cup. Amos, you're off to Bedistan, where you'll play Snub Nose 38, One Red Dot and Kaze Progressa. Many people say it's the group of death for the Druids, would you go along with that?"

Amos Hinton: "No, obviously, it isn't the group of death for us. We are the best team in the group on current form. We've beaten some good sides on the way here, Kingsford, The Belmore Family and Eystrck have all gone, Turori and Eskrador both qualified but we beat them both. We're on form, and it is down to the other teams in the group to worry about us."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Well, that's your view, but surely it isn't going to be easy against the Hooligans. They've got Margaret on their side."

Amos Hinton: "No, no, you've got that wrong. Margaret isn't actually on their side, or even in their side, that's just where they think that she originates from, OK? Anyway, they play like a bunch of cartoon characters at the moment, so it really shouldn't be a problem. They're not what they once were, which, some might argue, wasn't much in the first place, but I wouldn't say something like that about them."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Well surely ORD must be dangerous?"

Amos Hinton: "No, no, they're another team with more history than current ability. Maybe they'll come good again this time around, but I wouldn't bet on it."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Well, surely the game against Kaze Progressa will be tough? They're sports mad, for pity's sake!"

Amos Hinton: "No, not really. Not that it won't be the hardest game, but hopefully it won't matter too much by then, and we'll just ease through the game. Anyway, they're too busy with all their other sports at the olympics, so pathetic little one-sport events get pushed down the priority if you can choose a sporting event that has football and about thirty other sports instead."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Well with confidence like that, can you see your team actually winning the whole thing?"

Amos Hinton: "No, don't be silly. There's seven better teams than us out there, and two of them have home advantage. That, coupled with the fact that there's always at least one surprise package, means that we'll be lucky to make it to the quarter-finals like we did eight years ago."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Amos Hinton, go **** yourself"

Amos Hinton: "No, you can't say something like that! That's shocking behaviour for a broadcaster!"

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Well I normally say "Amos Hinton, thank you," and you always tell me that I should be doing the opposite."

Amos Hinton: "No, no, now that just isn't true."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Of course it's true! Just ask any of our listeners!"

Amos Hinton: "No, they love the Druids, so they'd definately stick up for me!"

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "You know, sometimes, I really wish that the FANCD would send me someone else to interview!"

Amos Hinton: "No, no. You know you love me really!"

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "*sigh*"

Commerce Heights

08-11-2004, 20:35

Capitalizts Prepare for First Round
After a 4‒0 blowout of Northbank propelled the Capitalizts into the World Cup for the tenth time, they have been placed in Group F, providing an opportunity to play Les Communistes d’Eauz’slani in another semifinal. Here is the analysis of their 3 opponents by former Prime Minister candidate Trevor Stalin (CmZ)―
Matchday 1—Aquiliana
Rank: 27
Previous Matches: None
Aquiliana, completely unrelated to the Aquilla RPers or the Chrysaestos Golden Eagles, have been a fairly strong team for the last 2‒3 Cups, though no one has any idea why. Expect this to be a difficult first match.

Matchday 2—Tadjikistan
Rank: 34
Previous Matches:
WC16 1R MD2: Commerce Heights (4) 0‒0 Tadjikistan (32)
Previous Record: 0‒1‒0
After a disappointing draw that nearly knocked the Capitalizts out of qualifying contention, Capitalizt fans are not too happy about facing Tadjikistan again. But considering the last game on the first-round schedule, they’ll need every point they can get...

Matchday 3—Audioslavia
Rank: 6
Previous Matches:
WC10 1R MD3: Commerce Heights (23) 0‒3 Audioslavia (18)
WC12 Semifinal: Commerce Heights (15) 3‒4 Audioslavia (4) AET
WC15Q MD2: Audioslavia (5) 0‒1 Commerce Heights (23)
WC15Q MD11: Commerce Heights (23) 1‒1 Audioslavia (5)
Previous Record: 1‒1‒2
no comment
[ed. note—The ’Slaves are expected to be the toughest opponent the Capitalizts will face, especially considering the fierce rivalry between the teams. Don’t be surprised if they spoil the Capitalizts’ second-round hopes a la WC10.]

Cockbill Street

08-11-2004, 23:09

Siki Rej was burying his head in his hands. He was in the Altos' stadium - the last thing the Progressans rescued out before the country fell to pieces - and was seeing the Streetian team doing the exact opposite of what the orders told them to do. It was fairly simple beating the Altos - their physique wouldn't last here, Hexatux thought, so hard tackles, pressure and a physical game in general should secure a win. And what did they do? Because their opposition were ladies, they felt like they shouldn't tackle them! Siki fervently wished he'd called Sarah Cawdron up from the U-21...she might be crap, but at least she could tackle better than this lot! He wanted to do eleven substitutions at half-time...bending all the WCC rules, but he didn't care about that at the moment. Still, 0:3 at half-time was so hopeless (he still thought in colons despite the strange Streetian practice to write dashes between the scores...), that he failed to give the right inputs to Hexatux. What'd it matter, he thought...I have to get away from this place...otherwise the Streetians will kill me in ways unimaginable. Maybe if I tell these idiots...

"What to do, g'irgah?" said Thorgeirr Axewielder (strangely, those in the squad who did remember him from the U21 World Cup weren't nearly as angry as the Streetian government...perhaps they understood why he had done it?)

"We've lost. Just try and play, okay? We're out of this thing anyway," said Siki in despair.

"Anyway, I'm going to stay in here for a few hours after you leave the match. I'll take the next zeppelin out of Avenging Altos, I promise - I just need a bit of beer in my stomach." (the thought of Progressan beer being absolutely awful suddenly occurred to him...oh well, he'd better drink till he got incontinence...)

"Sure, g'irgah," all the players intoned. Football idiots, Siki thought - no independent thought whatsoever. That excuse had about a million holes in it. Reminded him of a film he once saw..."we are all individuals," wasn't it? Anyway, he went back to the stands, watched the second half (in which Olaf actually managed to score...the world would surely end?)

<tbc>

Bedistan

08-11-2004, 23:29

First round matchday 1 scores are being telegrammed now, with the exception of Group D. Group D will receive their scores once Eauz is able to generate them.

Starblaydia

09-11-2004, 00:41

Islanders tear down Starblaydia
Starblaydia kick off with a loss, again

WARNING: This Post may contain an RP about Starblaydia losing, yes, I know it's hard to bear, but sometimes it happens.

Starblaydia's Second World Cup started with a loss, just like their first. The 3-4-3 of Iansisle destroyed the Diamond Geezers of Starblaydia's midfield. Tom Ravenhill exploited the tactical machinations with a brace of goals, with G-man Tagger getting the other. Though J.J. Stark managed to circle the Islanders, Starblaydia failed to beat their sporting rivals.

Of course, socially, culturally and... um... metal-workingly(?) we're so far ahead of them that 'rivals' is about an a accurate a term as 'Insanicians love Squorners'. Yup, it's that bad.

Lastly, I also had a great pun about The Eagles Nest, so that went right down the drain when I discovered Iansisle where the first opponents. Damn it. Let's just hope the Starblaydi National Ice Hockey Team 'accidentally' got on the Iansisle team bus after the match. Grrr...

Group C
Pos Nation P W D L F A GD Pts
1 The Eagles Nest 1 1 0 0 3 0 +3 3
2 Iansisle 1 1 0 0 3 1 +2 3
3 Starblaydia 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0
4 Druida 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0

Final Score from Stade de Monteuz:
Iansisle 3 - 1 Starblaydia
(Ravenhill 24 & 68, Tagger 51) - (Stark 39)

Iansisle

09-11-2004, 01:01

NEWSBLURB!

The College of Ye Olde English at Royal Standard University initiated litigation today against the Starblaydi national newspaper for what it terms “an illegal adverbing.”

“Verily, I do declare that in recent Edition Starblaydia saith ‘metal-workingly’ without abash & did so upon Assault our great Englishe Language & thusly punishment sorely deserveth,” said Hupert L. Wattle-Prigley, Dean of the college. “Whence and for what reason this Attack cometh I know not & ye we Shall be avenged uponst the malefactor butcher of our Holiest language.”

Asked if the term “illegal adverbing” was itself a violation of the College’s own “illegal verbing” rule (which is itself a violation of itself) Wattle-Prigley refused to comment.

((real RP coming later))

Squornshelous

09-11-2004, 01:46

Jeruselem Government News

Soccer sports report causes diplomatic soccer war

A normal JGN news report causes a storm in teacup with Total n Utter Insanity (TnUI) and Squornshelous starting a war of words. With the decription of "crafty" TnUI and "super" Squornshelous, the report made soccer rivals trade insults with some unsportmanlike language.

The Jeruselem minister for Sports and Recreation, a former soccer player, said "You know how kids fight in the playground? This is adult version. Let the team soccer speak and not big mouthed bureaucrats. I'm not commenting too much about Jeremy Jaffacake, but everyone should stop being brats."

The Squornshelan Ministry of Correction, Water Management and Aluminum Foil had the following to say about the release from Jeruselem.
"First off," said head minister Brian Bellows, "your release was only the spark that ignited the powder barrel, those Insanicians are always looking for a fight."

Squornshelous Draws?
This poor result leaves Pschychoes with a must win situation in matchday 2. "We just weren't focused out there." In an effort to cut down on distractions to its players. The government of Squornshelous has cut off all relations of any kind with Total n Utter Insanity. "We will not even acknowledge their petty barbs," proclaimed The Great Prophet Zarquon.
The lone Squornshelan goal was scored by Igor Raskolnikov on a 60th minute breakaway which tied Squornshelous with Turori, who had lept out to a surprise 1-0 lead. Despite many opportunities late, the Pschychoes couldn't put the game away.

Squornshelous Scorers:
Raskolnikov: 15
Puente: 9
Castillan: 6
Arnesson: 3
Friedel: 1

Svecia

09-11-2004, 02:55

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

WHAT HIT THEM?
Two Solskjaer goals within 3 minutes seals deal for Lightning

Svecia 2 Crystilakere 1

- Svecia jumped out to a 2-0 lead in the first 10 minutes and never looked back on their opponants. Mikael Solskjaer played a first half he will never forget, mostly because he was the entire team.

From his first incredible curling free kick in the 5th minute, to his final attempt on goal in the 45th, Solskjaer was unstoppable, being found on both ends of the pitch, and playing an integral part in nearly every attack.

His goals came in the 5th and 8th minutes and both seemed to catch Crystilakere off guard. The first, a free kick from about 24 yards out, looked like it would curve wide around the post, but somehow found enough energy to bend itself inside the right upright to put Svecia on top and send the heavily partisan Svecia crowd into raucus cheering.

His second goal three minutes later was just as impressive. A cross from Hanan Belagt into the area looked like it would bounce harmlessly away, but Solskjaer launched himself into the air parallel to the ground and connected his head with the ball for an amazing diving header.

From then on he was involved in every play and ended up taking 8 of Svecia´s 9 shots on goal in the first half. Head coach Matt de Fijts replaced Solskjaer after halftime with Jörgen Knietzwietz, a midfielder. Svecia played keep away the second half and got off only 3 shots despite holding an amazing 71% edge on time in the second half. Crystilakere took 5 shots, but their only goal came in the 88th minute off a powerful header from a corner kick. But by that time the game was already in the bag and Svecia celebrated with their adoring fans afterwards who made the long trek to Le Stade d'Eauz.

A revenge match against Artoonia awaits the Lightning tomorrow.

The Eagles Nest

09-11-2004, 04:35

TEN Wins 3-0 Against Druida

Strike Birds Back To Old Form In Group Play

The Strike Birds came out today with one of the technically sound games of this campaign putting a 3-0 score on Druida, setting themselves in a good position to move on to the Knockout rounds.

Secour started it off with a nice shot in the top right corner in the 16th minute, and then assisted on a score by Weber Strong in the 42nd minute. The second half was mainly desperate attempts by Druida to get into the Nest box, but the midfield and defense were playing exceptional defense and kept the Druida offense away from the net. Secour made the final tally at the 72nd minute on a set play from Horace.

Iansisle also won their match today, and will set up a scenario where the Nest could clinch a transfer spot if they could win against Starblaydia. A tie would still give them a good position, but a win here makes it almost a lock. Iansisle is in the same situation where a win for them would also secure them a transfer spot.

Eagle's Nest fans report little trouble getting to the game, and fewer problems getting around Eauz. Hopefully there will be no major problems for the game against Starbladyia.

Aquiliana

09-11-2004, 04:39

No Offense 'Round Here
Commerce Heights gets the lone goal in a defensive struggle

This was the match that many people expected: where both teams were able to come out and play their best game. And unfortunately for Aquiliana, Commerce Heights' best game was better than their own.

In a tournament where Aquiliana wins many of their games through outhustling and outworking their opponents, they don't have any real advantage over a world-class team like Commerce Heights if that team is determined to win.

Melet Bælükas was simply astounding in net, playing one of his best matches ever, but had absolutely no chance on an amazing shot from the penalty spot by CH's striker. The ball was placed in the opposite top corner, a real no-chancer.

Tomorrow night's match will be played against another great team, this one from Audioslavia. It should be an amazing match, as Aquiliana fights to stay alive while Audioslavia looks for revenge against the team that knocked them out 4 years ago.

Final Score:
Aquiliana 0
Commerce Heights 1 (61')

Jeruselem

09-11-2004, 13:39

Jeruselem Government News

Insanity rules world cup

TNUI or Total n Utter Insanity beat Jeruselem 3-0 in their first Group D game for in the World Cup XVIII. The score looked one sided but ther referee seemed be ignoring any insanity the TnUI defenders displayed. The Jeruselem team showed nerved in this big game and it showed. TnUI, a WC regular, was much more composed and the better team on the day.

David Becks said "They played tough, hard and well insanely. I'd hate to see the game against Squornshelous. I don't want to what happens in the change rooms if they lose a that game either."

Squornshelous drew with Turori 1-1 to give TnUI fans something to gloat about. Jeruselem need to win to have any hope to making it past the group stage.

Jeruselem FA chairman said "I don't expect to us to get past this stage, but if we do it's a bonus. A TnUI and Squornshelous draw would be nice if we can beat Turori assuming we lose to Squornshelous."

Tadjikistan

09-11-2004, 15:14

A draw next time?

Sonoma City - The first match of the Tadjiks on this World Cup is said to be the hardest, as they face their rivals from the qualifications; Audioslavia. The Tigers could not win from them in the qualifications but they were eager to try it here.
The Tigers made several good moves in the first half, Timoshenko's shot hit the right pole. Kirponos' failed to shoot past Andersson. Tadjikistans moves payed of when Pliiev scored in the 40th minute.

But Tadjikistans excellent performance in the first half was not enough to win and the Slaves made the difference in the second half. Audioslavia's Jackie McLLroy defeated the Tadjik defense in the 65th minute with a shot from the left side.
2 minutes later Audioslavia got the upperhand through a goal from Danny Bracken, saving the day for the Slaves.
Zhukov made two replacements in an attempt to secure a draw but the Tigers failed to finish off their moves.

The first defeat on the World Cup was expected, but everyone was somewhat suprised by Tadjikistans dominating style in the first half, completed with a goal and the failure to go on in the second half. Zhukov :'We put to much of our strength into the first half and completely forgot about the second half. Its a shame, we got close to a draw or even a win but we gave it all away in the end. There's still some work to be done, certainly if we want to beat teams like Audioslavia. All is not lost though, there are still two matches to be played. The second match in the group will be against Commerce Heights, whom the Tigers tied to on WC16 and with some luck, the might repeat that.

MD1: Audioslavia - Tadjikistan L 2-1
MD2: Tadjikistan - Commerce Heights
MD3: Aquiliana - Tadjikistan

Melmond

09-11-2004, 17:58

Makinshakes Presents...
The Ketchup Times
Now you can eat your fries and read the latest news around Melmond!

NASTIC 2 Gets Chilly Reception
Home nation advantage certainly was amplified in the last qualifying match in Melmond, well at least for World Cup 18 qualifying. The match was held in one of Melmond's chillier cities during the Melmondian winter, O'Connor. Frigid gusts blew across the fertile plains around the city of O'Connor and the temperature was well below subzero Celsius. The NASTIC 2 side didn't really resemble a football team rather than frozen meat in a meat locker that the Melmond side physically ganged up upon and gave the NASTIC 2 side very little breathing room. In order to stay warm, Melmond not only bundled up, but played an attack which was constantly in motion to keep the blood pumping. There were some communication kinks to work out in the first half as that half ended scoreless for both sides. However, in the second half, things were working on all cylinders as both starting strikers, Tim Remans and Ojfssnsj Xrnym got a goal each in the 2-nil Melmond victory. With that victory, Melmond has clinched their second berth ever for a World Cup.

The Gulf States Match Boring As Watching Golf
Well this must be one of the dullest matches I have ever seen. Melmond had nothing at stake as the team has already qualified for World Cup 18 in Eauz and Bedistan and basically has cinched up first place overall in the qualifying group. However, it was a different story as the fight for the last qualifying spot in the World Cup was fought between many different sides, with the hopeful The Gulf States side being one of them. The national stadium in The Gulf States was sold out with rabid fans, but those fans would be lulled to sleep and into depression as there wasn't a single statistic to be reported. There were no goals. There weren't even any bookings. Just a very dull nil all draw.

Roster Reporting Miscue "A Commie Conspiracy"
Many months ago, the Melmond Football Association has sent in their official roster for this World Cup qualifying as well as the final tournament. However, it has not been linked on the official Eauz/Bedistan World Cup page. MFA Princess Tasa Seegwun believes that the wholeheartedly communist nation Eauz is behind this, "They are obviously jealous of our prosperity in the real world as well as the footballing world, everyone knows in order to maintain communism, you have to purge the ambitious, well Melmond is ambitious and they are purging our roster from the rest of the world!" The Eauzian FA or the organization body of the Eauz/Bedistan World Cup 18 have not commented yet.

OOC: Please put a link for my roster! :P

Melmond

09-11-2004, 18:36

Melmond Draws Group D: Reaction
By Henry Kalangalangalang of the Melmond City Herald

EAUZ—The Fearless Farmers are in their second World Cup ever, and this time around this team will not be sneaking up on anyone. After an unprecedented performance in their World Cup debut, the third place finishing Melmond National Team is now in a very unfamiliar and precarious position, favorites. Well, not favorites to win the group, but to qualify for the Round of 16 as well as perform well in the elimination round as well. Honestly, although this side arguably is the most talented side in Melmond footballing history, the team really doesn’t seem to have the fire that they had in the last World Cup qualifying and tournament. Let’s hope that Manager David Bixler can restore the fire of Fearless Farmer team’s past. If he is able to restore that fire, this side should be very good. Unfortunately, they have drawn to play in commie territory, where the normally unbiased home nation fans would be cheering against the proudly capitalizt Fearless Farmers. Here is a preview of Melmond’s opponents in Group D.

Once again, Melmond draws a hosting side in their World Cup group. However, due to Eauzian business cluelessness, the hosting side of Bedistan has been slated to play all their matches in Eauz, which will certainly cost both FAs some money and makes the cup a financially shaky ordeal. On the football side of things anyway, although the national teams have never played each other, both sides are familiar with each other due to having some Bedistanis play in the Melmond Premier League and vice versa.

The rest of the sides in Group D don’t look nearly as formidable. Lovisa is a side who is looking to regain the strong form they had in World Cup 15 and 16 after slipping up during World Cup 17 qualifying. Although Lovisa can pull an upset or two, not much is expected of this side.

Unlike Lovisa, EL CID THE HERO is more of a team on the rise. After many years of mediocrity, they finally busted through the glass ceiling and qualified for the World Cup in the last World Cup, in which they finished third in their group. EL CID THE HERO hopes to do better this time and has reason to think they can with beating Melmond in qualifying and feeling good about their matchup against Lovisa.

The Prediction
1. Bedistan
2. Melmond
3. EL CID THE HERO
4. Lovisa

Melmond World Cup Schedule (all in Eauz)

v Lovisa (Le Stade d’Eauz)
v EL CID THE HERO (Le Monde en Blanc)
v Bedistan (Socialism)

Next Game
vs. Lovisa (Le Stade d’Eauz)

Well here is the chance for the Fearless Farmers to get the ball rolling on the right track, to start the momentum for the rest of the World Cup. The first match is at Le Stade d’Eauz in Zuka, and the Fearless Farmers have faced more formidable sides than Lovisa at this stadium and won, such as that memorable 3-nil victory over Eauz in Zuka. However, they cannot use the past to coast through the World Cup. Melmond needs to recover their desire and if they do, they should win this match. Here is Manager David Bixler’s starting lineup for this all-important match.

GK- Snhp Xtfuinxm
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Veronica Dean
D- Charles Unne
D- Trav Strachan
M- Jake Cormier
M- Alfred Smith
M- Critandi Unne
M- Peeko Noodleschlausen
F- Ojfssnsj Xrnym
F- Tim Remans

For tickets to Eauz and the match, call the Therewegoes Travel Agency at 3-18-357-9009. There are few tickets reserved so call very soon!!! Eauz used to be filled with fun loving Frenchy peoples who have a gusto for life and who feels very secure with the government taking care of them, but now they have gone under a radical communist revolution and aren’t quite as nice as they were before.

EL CID THE HERO

09-11-2004, 20:36

EL CID NEWS.
NEWS YOU CAN USE.

sports news

LIONS EAT BIG CATS

Bedistan 0
EL CID THE HERO 2 (KRELL 23,67)

With the memory of ECTH v TEN in some of the players minds it was El Cids Lions that was to upset the Bedistan Lions in their home tornerments opening match.

With no pundit thinking that El Cid could beat the team that was hosting that WC, ranked 2 in the world and had got to in world cup 17, But the lions who always do well when they are thought as of the under-dogs and can always pull off a shocker.

From the word go the CID lions were docking up all the presser that the BED lions could put on them and with a mid-field in full fray it looked like a 0-0 game was the most likely outcome. However with all the old faces on the pitch it was a new commer Krell Cumberland that showed EL CID could play with the big boys of football by getting into the box and using his head to get one passed the keeper.

"i saw the keeper was in a bad place you see" said Cumberland after the match "all i needed to to was get into the box and push the ball with my head and that's what i did."

as the match restarted it was El Cid that was on the back foot as they found it hard to get it out of their half, but the Hunter Bros were able to keep the defence in shape and to keep the lions at bay till half time was on them.

the seconed half was more eventfull then the first with over 10 chances for each teams. however it was the man of the moment that got goal number 2 in the 67th min by breaking through the BED defence and geting one passed the keeper.

with 2-0 the match was over. With El Cid geting the ball when it counted and stoping the Bed attack from geting into the bax too often El Cid got a big victory on their first day in the world cup finals. Keep reading to see if the teamcan buld on this big win.

Group D
Bedistan
Melmond
Lovisa
EL CID THE HERO

MD1 BED V CID W 0-2
MD2 MEL V CID
MD3 LOV V CID

Bedistan

09-11-2004, 23:48

The Bedistan Sports Digest

Lions Win!
But Bedistanis are still cursing their luck

TOUSTROUVEUX, Eauz -- As expected, the Lions won their match at Socialism in Toustrouveux yesterday. Yet the mood among Bedistan's football faithful is somber. That's probably because the Lions that won the match were not, as was widely expected, the Bedistan Lions; instead, they were vanquished by the identically-monikered team from EL CID THE HERO.

Team Bedistan was surprised by the amount of energy EL CID showed at the outset of the match. This surprise turned to shock midway through the first half when Krell Cumberland would successfully put the ball behind Errinundrian-Bedistani goalkeeper paulinem for the 1-0 lead. paulinem had been just a bit off her line, and Cumberland saw his advantage and made the most of it. paulinem was not very happy with herself after the goal, and narrowly avoided picking up a yellow card for unsportsmanlike conduct. Being Errinundrian, this is a highly unusual quality.

The rest of the second half put Bedistan on the attack to try to recover their lost ground. Left-side midfielder Izhgakh the Merciless sent a lovely shot into the box for Jackson Reinhardt, but the captain was unable to finish and David Niemi gathered the ball easily. The EL CID defense was peppered with shots from the Bedistani side for the remainder of the half -- indeed, Pook made a great showing in his first international match -- but Niemi was having a red-letter day, successfully stopping every shot.

Assistant coach Mike Davidson couldn't complain about his green-and-blue-clad team's first half performance, despite the scoreline. Nevertheless, he implored the defense to crack down a bit. paulinem was still shaking after her unfortunate allowed goal in the first half, and Davidson made the tough decision to replace her with Hank Paulsen, who started between the posts in the previous World Cup.

The second half was even more attack-heavy than the first. Early in the half, Nick Yu sent a sweeping shot into the left corner of the goal for what would have been the equalizer had the completely uninvolved Benjamin Xi not been in an offside position. Yu tried to make his point to the ref and got yellow-carded for his efforts. The score remained one-nil. Both sets of Lions would combine for an astounding 23 shots on goal during the second half, but unfortunately only one of them would count, as Cumberland got through the defensive line again and caught Hank Paulsen flat-footed, putting EL CID up two-nil. Bedistan got more and more desperate, but the majority of the shots made in the last fifteen minutes veered wildly off target and there was no chance of salvaging a point.

"Well, I'm not happy," said manager Brandon Barton after the match. "I think we should have not only gotten a result, but won the game fairly easily. Still, though, I must admit, EL CID were at the absolute top of their game. I don't like the idea of having to depend on at least four points from Melmond and Lovisa, though."

From here on, it's pretty simple: lose again and they're out. A draw and a win might be enough, but Bedistan really need two wins to be reasonably sure of progressing. And like Barton, we're not sure how likely that is to happen against Lovisa and Melmond. You can be sure they'll play their hearts out, though.

BEDISTAN 0
(no scorers)
EL CID THE HERO 2
(K. Cumberland 23, 67)

Vilita

10-11-2004, 00:13

LIONS EAT BIG CATS

The Vilitan Government is appauled by this headline and will one day issue a statement in its regards.

Snub Nose 38

10-11-2004, 00:57

After threat of legal action from The Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38, this publication has decided to post its titles in no bigger than 4 point, emboldened font. This is a safety measures after our big blue title marking one of Big Pimento's rare wins tragically claimed the lives of a large number of SN38ers, destroying a few small villiages and a doghouse among other things in the process. In the wake of this tragedy we've decided to finally "calm the eff down" with the big blue titles, putting strict sanctions on the big part and completely illegalizing the blue. We encourage other nations to do the same and part ways with the big blue titles. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the families and friends of those whose lives were claimed as a result of our reckless use of the big blue title.The Ministry of Justice and Real Estate today announced that the pending multiple lawsuits against the Big Pimentin (Pimentish? Pimentoid? Pimentical?) Government will be withdrawn without prejudice conditionally. There are three conditions:

1 – Big Pimento, in fact, comply with it’s own apparent decision to limit headline size to something one could reasonably describe as…well…”reasonable”.

2 – Big Pimento compensate one “Buffy”, who is something of a yellow-lab mix (appears to be some Collie, a bit of St. Bernard, and possibly poodle), owner of said dog-house for loss of said dog-house.

3 – Big Pimento tell the citizens of The Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38 just exactly how one pronounces “SN38ers”…

------------------------------------------------------

***** ASPN World Cup XVIII Special Report *****

*on screen we see the new aspn studios – very nicely appointed, we note – as titles scroll (spin, actually) by accompanied by…well, the same lame theme music, completely inappropriate for sports of any kind. behind the lavish desk, on which is embossed the aspn logo, sits our intrepid reporter. behind her on the wall is the wc xviii logo, and on either side of it a football jersey – to the left proudly hangs a hooligan jersey, while to the left a fine example of a newi cefn druidian jersey. we pan in, and…*

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Asteroid Sports Networks coverage of World Cup XVIII. Today’s match featured your Snub Nose 38 Hooligans in a fierce campaign against the NEWI Cefn Druidians.

The match began a bit late, as there was some confusion regarding where the ball was. It seems someone, and we only have the name “Margaret” to go on, had spirited the ball away before the match. Since the Hooligans only have the one ball right now, this presented quite a problem. However, about ten minutes late, a figure in the stands – we couldn’t make out who it was, but she was dressed in burgundy robes and a hooded midnight blue cape – tossed a ball out onto the field. The officials examined the ball, found it to be within specifications, and the match was on.

The first period began rather slowly, as each side probed for weaknesses. The NC Druidians had several good shots at the 11th and 22nd minutes, but the first bounded off the post and was cleared by a defender, and the second skimmed just over the bar and into the stands…well, into the seats…there aren’t actually any stands…

The Hooligans had one chance in the 39th minute off a set piece. The NCD left back, in clearing the ball, had slipped and instead pushed it over the end line. The corner kick sailed in nicely, and forward Sir Bugs of Bunny was about to head it in when his ears appeared to block his vision just long enough for the keeper to gain control of the ball.

A hard fought half, but with no scoring, ending 0 – 0.

At the half, a SWAT Team took the pitch, and spread out in battle formation. Then…

The Hooligan Cheerleaders sashayed out, grinned, and began their “performance”.

“Hurrah for the Hooligans!! Hip Hip, Horrah!!
Hooligan footballers’ll win the day
Hurrah for the Hooligans!! They are our Guys
So, to help out our Hooligans,
We’re gonna poke them NEWI’s in the eyes!
NEWI Cefn Druids? Some kind of breakfast cereal? “

A sense of calm came over the stadium. Everyone (yes, everyone – I mean every single person in that stadium – the only exception being the cheerleaders themselves) picked up the rotten vegetables they had at hand, and the barrage began. Ah! There’s the requisite small goat! And, there goes a yellow volkswagon! Everything but the…no, there goes the kitchen sink as well! Just as it all seems to be getting out of hand, the SWAT Team collapses around the Hooligan Cheerleaders, and provides them with safe escort of the pitch. The Sheriff of Remington County follows immediately after, and is heard mumbling something about “…lettin’ them out over and over, and I keeps arrestin’ ‘em, and what fer, I ask ya, what fer? Dammit!”

After the grounds crew cleared the pitch, which went rather quickly all things considered, the second half got underway.

And the NEWI Cefnians (druidishly) scored in the 46th minute, looping one just over the defending Hooligans, who could do nothing but watch the ball bounce into the net.

The Hooligans answered with two of their own, in the 52nd and 55th minutes – the first being a lucky break, as the ball bounced off the bar, hit a defender in the back of the head, and bounced back into the goal. The second was…well…it was really a bad cross that was so bad it fooled the defense. The cross came from right to left, the defense turned to defend from the left, and the cross fell behind them and slowly rolled into the net.

The Hooligans held the lead for only 6 minutes, as in the 61st the NEWI’s (Cefnishily, them Druids) broke down the Hooligan defense with a nicely executed piece of football, slipping passes across the pitch almost as if the Hooligans weren’t even there. In fact, Ben Dover, the Hooligan Manager, was heard to remark at this point, “Where the hell are they, Eileen? Where in blue bloody blazes are they?”

The final 29 minutes, plus 3 of added time, were hard fought and quite interesting, but there were no more goals to be had.

At the end of the match the Scoreboard read:

NEWI Cefn Druids 2 – Snub Nose 38 2.

Which lead some to believe the Hooligans had prevailed by 380 goals, but calmer heads soon made them understand that it is very infrequently that a side scores over 300 goals in a single match.

Well, that’s all we have time for now, my friends. It’s time for your favorite game show “A Slow Boat to Elba”

*which, frankly, is not our favorite game show – and so, secure in the knowledge that our Hooligans have won a point, we turn off the boob-tube, and head out to “the dragon and the dragonfly”, our favorite pub*

***** This has been an ASPN Special World CUP XVIII Report*****

Melmond

10-11-2004, 05:37

A World Cup 18 Preview
Audioslavia to Burn That Gasoline, As Well As Opponents

Yes, despite seeing numerous reports from the Ketchup Times and not our local sportswriter, one thing remains constant. You will always see the Melmondian World Cup preview. As you all know, the Melmond World Cup preview is one of the best previews in the world if not the best, as we have chosen the correct side to be champion two out of five sides, which can’t be said about most publications. However, boasting aside let us see what the Melmond National Team as well as the other 31 nation represented have in store.

Eauz

Group A

The defending World Cup champions Rejistania kick off our preview of the World Cup. It is very hard to gage the performance of the Rejistanian sides as there always seems to be great roster turnover in each World Cup. But the constant is that this team is always a threat to win it all.

Second in our coverage is the defending second place side Dance 2 Revolution. This side has been known for their clutch play and does well in the big games. However, in this relatively easy group, they probably won’t need to be as clutch.

The Lemmings of Lemmitania have once again found their way to the World Cup. However, we don’t see this talented yet directionless side going very far.

The biggest surprise in this World Cup is the team from Eskrador. This side basically had every break go their way during qualifying, but against the likes of Rejistania and Dance 2 Revolution, their luck is going to change.

Prediction
1. Rejistania
2. Dance 2 Revolution
3. Lemmitania
4. Eskrador

Group B

It seems like every time we wait for Vilita to finally make that push toward World Cup Championship contention, and every time they seem to stumble in the Round of 16 or the quarterfinals. This is a good side, but we see the same fate happening.

Svecia once again looks like a very strong side and should do very well, however we don’t see them rejoining the top tier of the footballing world quite yet.

Crystilakere is in their second World Cup, but they really have shown no potential to break out of the group stage and into the Round of 16.

Artoonia is a side that didn’t play all to well during qualifying, but somehow was in a weak enough group to stumble into qualifying for the World Cup. All we see this side doing is stumbling and falling flat on their face.

Prediction
1. Vilita
2. Svecia
3. Crystilakere
4. Artoonia

Group C

Usually in a group like this, The Eagles Nest would be a shoo-in to win this group. However, we see the Strike Birds getting cold against their hot opponents. We predict they will disappoint.

The Ians of Iansisle are usually the perennial on the verge side. However, they will go beyond that point as this Iansisle side is one of the best in recent memory.

Starblaydia also is fielding one of their strongest sides yet. They had a solid qualifying session and have the drive to do well in this cup. A team to watch.

The small nation of Druida has made the World Cup in their first ever try. This is mainly thanks to the masterful management of former NEWI Cefn Druid star Trevor Callins. They may be able to pull of some surprising results.

Prediction
1. Starblaydia
2. Iansisle
3. Druida
4. The Eagles Nest

Group D

Oddly enough, host nation Bedistan will not have home field advantage as they are being shipped out to Eauz due to bad commie business. Either way, they are the favorites in this group as they have played strong as of late.

The Fearless Farmers of Melmond are in a host nation’s group again, and this group is decidedly much easier than the one faced in Kaze Progressa. However, despite winning their qualifying group for the first time ever, many Melmondians see this side as underachieving. Can Manager David Bixler reignite the fire from a World Cup ago?

Lovisa has returned to the cup after a one cup absence. They will try their hardest to regain their rank in the top 20 of the KPB rankings and most importantly a spot at glory and prestige. They can pull off some upsets.

EL CID THE HERO is a team on the rise. They are steadily improving from years of mediocrity. However, we don’t think they are quite good enough to beat the likes of Bedistan and Melmond yet.

Prediction
1. Bedistan
2. Melmond
3. EL CID THE HERO
4. Lovisa

Bedistan

Group E

In a way, the team from NEWI Cefn Druids has found a way to continue their losing ways. Despite having a high ranking in the KPB rankings, the Druids always seem to underperform in the World Cup. We think they will do this time around, which will probably jinx them.

Kaze Progressa has been inconsistent over the years, and after a nice step forward in their respectable performance in front of their home fans for the World Cup, this year’s team is not expected to do the same and might even take a step backward.

One Red Dot is a shell of their former selves. They are still a talented side, but not quite talented and focused enough to make a run.

After two disastrous qualifying campaigns, the Hooligans of Snub Nose 38 seem to be back on their way to success again. However, the leap from their current place to World Cup contender will prove to be too much.

Prediction
1. NEWI Cefn Druids
2. Snub Nose 38
3. Kaze Progressa
4. One Red Dot

Group F

Audioslavia looks very strong this year. Their management has been top notch and this young nucleus of stars should keep this side strong for years upon years to come. We believe this is the time where the Slaves will finally win the big one.

Ironically, it seems that Commerce Heights is making an epic collapse on par with the collapse of the Soviet Union. The World Cup 15 champions have been on a downward slope since, and we see them hitting bottom here.

Ever since entering international play, the team from Aquiliana has proven themselves to be fierce competitors and clutch players. However, with such early success, there needs to be a balance of bad luck coming.

Tadjikistan is a side with a predicament similar to Lovisa in Melmond’s group. This is a side that played rather well in World Cup 15 and 16 only to stumble in World Cup 17 playoffs. The big difference is that this team is better managed and should advance to the Round of 16.

Prediction
1. Audioslavia
2. Tadjikistan
3. Aquiliana
4. Commerce Heights

Group G

Total n Utter Insanity always brings a top tier side and does relatively well. But the question is will they break through the semifinal ceiling. Unfortunately for them, we don’t even see them surviving the Round of 16.

Squornshelous is a team back on the right track after slipping a little bit during World Cup 16 and 17. This side should play well for the most part.

The talented team from the tiny island of Turori is in its second World Cup. However, playing against this group the Eels are over their heads.

Finally, the lovable Crusaders from Jeruselem have qualified for their first ever World Cup after many attempts. They will make a spirited effort, but unfortunately will come up short.

Prediction
1. Squornshelous
2. Total n Utter Insanity
3. Jeruselem
4. Turori

Group H

Les Blues d’Eauz look to redeem themselves after their lackluster performance at World Cup 17. Unfortunately, they will not have the hosts advantage since all their matches will be played at Bedistan. They will do well, but not having home support will hurt this side.

Liverpool England is becoming dangerously close to regaining the old championship form. We should see more success coming from this side in this cup as well as the future.

The Lowland Clans have been one unlucky side recently. They are a strong side, but have the misfortune of being put in strong groups. They will feel the sting of that misfortune that time around.

It’s hard to say that the team from Esth is completely outclassed in this group. After all, they did beat Melmond by two goals. However, its true nonetheless, Esth is outclassed.

Prediction
1. Liverpool England
2. Eauz
3. The Lowland Clans
4. Esth

Round of 16
Rejistania over Svecia
Vilita over Dance 2 Revolution
Starblaydia over Melmond
Bedistan over Iansisle
NEWI Cefn Druids over Tadjikistan
Audioslavia over Snub Nose 38
Eauz over Squornshelous
Liverpool England over Total n Utter Insanity

Quarterfinals
Starblaydia over Rejistania
Bedistan over Vilita
NEWI Cefn Druids over Eauz
Audioslavia over Liverpool England

Semifinals
Bedistan over Starblaydia
Audioslavia over NEWI Cefn Druids

Final
Audioslavia over Bedistan

Iansisle

10-11-2004, 06:06

Much More Like It!
No suspicious ‘play-calls’ this time around

EAUZ -- The Starblaydi national football side proved themselves a mite more honorable than the Rayzors, their national hockey team.

“We were prepared for anything,” said striker Tom Ravenhill, the game’s hero. “Westmore drilled us on all sorts of things, from ‘Keanu Reeves did real justice to Shakespeare!’ to ‘Joel Schumacher was the best thing to ever happen to the Batman franchise!’ He didn’t want us to be caught off guard like the Gulls were.”

However, the Starblaydians shied away from movie-related cheating, and the Ians did likewise.

“If they had shouted something,” said midfielder Geoffrey Fletcher, “then we were ready to strike back. I was going to say that ‘Timothy Dalton was clearly better than Sean Connery!’ but fortunately the situation didn’t come up.

“You have to be careful with these things,” warned Fletcher. “It’s a lot like cloning dinosaurs. If you don’t do it right, you’ll probably be eaten while using the toilet.”

On the completely level playing field, the Ians mopped up Starblaydia 3-1.

“It was never really a fair fight,” said forward Brian Lyon, “After all, we’re SuperCup™ Champions - what has Starblaydia ever won? Some hockey trophy that nobody else has ever heard of? Pah!”

Westmore has now turned the Ians’ attention into preparing for Druidia while the Eagles Nest Strike Eagles prepare to further Starblaydia’s humiliation.

Rejistania

10-11-2004, 10:14

RejisCAST's broadcasts interfered by 'RL'

The broadcast of the first and only english-speaking radio station RejisCAST was interfered by something whch is called Random Leaps, a phenomenon on quantum level, which prevents the broadcast from having a comprehensible quality (it is an AM radio-station, had it ever a thing called quality?) (this must be deleted - ed.). The managers of RejisCAST say the phenomenon, only abbreviated as 'RL' is only temporal and RejisCAST will be able for regular broadcasts soon.

Five past Eskrador

The Orange-Blues played their first match in the world cup qualifiers against the team from Eskrador. The problem in the preparation was, that no one knew anything about the team at all. Coach SyLy tried to get information about the team from the opponents during qualifiers, but not much was revealed. The Druids from NEWI Cefn Druids were the only ones, who gave information at all - and it was inaccurate. Eskrador was described as good team but for the Orange-Blues, it was a walkover.

The Orange-Blues played a System Hangila with SyMji being the third striker. The first doal of this world cup happened only seconds after the kickoff when Salakerijasamenatira "Sa" Harakemindanutikejil ran upfields and scored before the fans from both sides realized the match started at all. The Orange-Blues continued their 'hetaki tekne' during the rest of the match. "Sa" was again sucessfull in the 9th minute after an assist of Tuade Lue. In the 18th minute, an eskradori defender fouled SyMji and a free kick was awarded to the Orange-Blues. For the scoreboard-operators, the worst case happened when Alan City defender Sasijilvenku Dikelesinivetisaru blasted the ball past the eskradori goalkeeper. After leading 3:0, the Orange-Blues started to play more defensively, but that does not mean, they ignored a good chance when it occured. Sijij Ha~e scored in the 47th minute in a counter-attack. The eskradori tried fierce attacks, but it led to some bookings of eskradori players (however, they mean nothing, the eskradori players have the same name, look exactly alike and no kit numbers and even smell alike so no one could find out if anyone was booked for the second time) and some free kicks, which led to nothing. In the 78th minute, the fate of "Ravea" (that is how fans moniked the Eskradori) was sealed: Kvansa Laijiyiaya, who replaced Duli~n Naneji in the 67th minute, headed the ball past the eskradori goalkeeper after a corner kick of Ji Y. the match ended 5:0 and everyone was pleased exccept the two fans from Eskrador and the Eauzian stadium speaker and the scoreboard-operators, who campaign for a law forbidding the seleke players to play in the national team.

The result:
Rejistania 5 (Harakemindanutikejil 1st 9th, Dikelesinivetisaru 18th, Ha~e 47th, Laijiyiaya 78th)
Eskrador 0

EL CID THE HERO

10-11-2004, 12:06

EL CID THE HERO is a team on the rise. They are steadily improving from years of mediocrity. However, we don’t think they are quite good enough to beat the likes of Bedistan and Melmond yet.

ECTH beat Bedistan 2-0 and defeated Melmond in qualifying

the ECFA (El Cid Football Association) have issued this statement

:D:):D:):D:):D

Liverpool England

10-11-2004, 12:07

Philosophers 2-0 The Lowland Clans
[Freech 14, Johnson sent off 84, Dennard 88]

Liverpool England won their first group match 2-0 to set a new record of 15 consecutive unbeaten games, something which has even the most harrdened critics of the team talking. With even Melmondian predictors saying the team is showing their old form again, anything is possible. But we know what happened in WC17...

Douglas Freech started the scoring in the 14th, a deft flick over the keeper gave him his eleventh international goal in 18 games, but the team suffered a late setback. Just as TLC looked like snatching an equaliser, Kelvin Johnson got himself booked and stupidly kicked the ball away in frustration, earning himself an early bath for dissent. However, the TLC offensive was stopped when Timothy Dennard scored his 3rd international goal with three minutes to play.

Audioslavia

10-11-2004, 13:32

Magic Tadjik Beaten Again
'Slaves third win in a row over TadjikistanTadjikistan (4-3-3)
-----------------------------------------
| 1 |
| Yashin |
| |
| 4 5 |
| 2 Zhilenkov Gromov 3 |
| Kuznetsov Egorov |
| |
| 8 |
| 7 Kirponos 6 |
| Zhigarov Pliev |
| |
| |
| 9 11 |
| Gasparian 10 Shvydkoi |
| Timoshenko |
| |
-----------------------------------------
| |
| 17 9 |
| Dannes McLLroy |
| |
| 11 |
| Marriot |
| 14 20 |
| Jansen 19 Fox |
| Cailan |
| |
| 16 13 |
| Crevan 5 3 Rijsbergen |
| Johnstone Romanov |
| |
| 1 |
| Andersson |
-----------------------------------------
Audioslavia (4-4-2)

The first match of World Cup 18 was against a familiar foe for the 'slaves. Audioslavia faced the Tadjikistan Tigers twice in qualifying, beating them 2-0 away and 3-0 at home. Audioslavia were confident, but wary of a team which now knew them inside out.

The cautiousness in the Audioslavian team was mirrored on the field where the 'slaves spent the opening minutes defending against some fierce Tigers attacks. Timoshenko had the game's first real chance on twenty minutes as he broke between Romanov and Rijsbergen, turning the defence and leaving himself mano-a-mano with the keeper. Timoshenko went for the lob but Andersson stretched himself well to punch the ball back over the bar.

Tadjikistan continued to press, forcing Audioslavia back into their own half and easily winning the midfield battle as Gasparian and Shvydkoi dropped back to mark the two dangerous 'slavian wingers Jansen and Fox. This tactic proved almost fatal to the 'slaves in the thirty-second minute as Fox ran into a dead-end and was disposessed just as Audioslavia were looking for a counter-attack. Tadjikistan countered themselves as Pliev broke down the left and flicked the ball forward to Shvydkoi. The weirdly-name Tadjikistani got to the by-line and whipped a low, hard cross in which hit Romanov on the ankle and rolled back out to Kirponos who was waiting on the edge of the box. The midfielder hit a fierce shot which left Andersson for dead, only for the ball to hit the right hand post with a hearty smack and rebound to Johnstone to clear.

Audioslavia began to work to get back into the game as Marriot, Dannes and McLlroy dropped back to help out the midfield just to try and control the pace of the game, but the momentum was still with the Tigers and with another free-flowing passing move, Tadjikistan scored. Gasparian and Timoshenko played a quick one-two down the right, Gasparian crossed, Shvydkoi stepped over the ball and let it run for Pliev to finish into the left-hand corner of the goal for 1-0.

Half-time came with the 'slaves obviously dis-heartened, the claret and green coloured crowd unusually silent. The second half however, saw something like a turn in fortunes. It started with Marriot running rings around Kirponos and laying the ball off for Coalan Fox. Fox sold Egorov a dummy and knocked the ball down the wing for the overlapping Rijsbergen. Risjbergen crossed low, Dannes let the ball run and McLlroy smashed the ball hard against the bar. No goal, but the 'slaves were back to playing their kind of football.

It was Audioslavia's turn to beat the opposition back to their own half of the field but the 'slaves just looked more like scoring than the Tadjikistani team did in the first half. Especially as Coalan Fox came off for Danny Bracken after getting a kick in the ankle. Bracken joined the attack and Rijsbergen moved up to the midfield for a 3-4-3 formation designed to put more pressure on the Tadjikistan defence. It worked on the 65th minute as Bracken controlled a high-ball on his chest, with his back to goal and Gromov harrying him, Bracken let the ball drop, used his heel to flick the ball over Gromov and darted round him, collecting the ball on the other side and re-establishing himself in the first team for at least three games. Bracken's shot was straight at Yashin, but the keeper could only parry the ball into the path of Jackie McLlroy to equalise for Audioslavia.

1-1 with twenty-five minutes to go, Audioslavia stepped it up a gear to capitalise on their momentum. Two minutes later it was 2-1 as Bracken latched onto a Rijsbergen cross and drove a header past Yashin into the bottom corner. For the casual onlooker it was all over, but the Tigers had different ideas. Tigers' manager Zhukov pulled off a defender and a midfielder and replaced them with two strikers Koshevoi and Yudenich, giving Tadjikistan an old-fashioned 3-2-5 formation for the closing minutes. The Tigers pressed, Timoshenko almost scored with a header, but it was all too little too late and Audioslavia won their first game of World Cup 18.

FINAL SCORE
Audioslavia 2 (McLlroy 65 - Bracken 67)
Tadjikistan 1 (Pliev 40)

NEWI Cefn Druids

10-11-2004, 14:05

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Hello there, Björn-Trevor Frederiksson here for the Cefn Broadcasting Network in Bedistan for the World Cup, where the Druids drew two-all with the Snub Nose 38 Hooligans, With me are the Druids' defensive coach Amos Hinton and their double goalscorer, half-time substitute Alan Belmore. Firstly to you, Amos. Are you a little disappointed with the performance today?"

Amos Hinton: "No, No, I wouldn't say that, I'd say I was very disappointed. We might have scored two goals, but we let two in, so we didn't win. We should be winning, the SN38ers are the lowest ranked team in the group."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Blimey, how the hell did yoy say that?"

Amos Hinton: "No, I didn't say that, I said SN38ers."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "You're a freak, you know that? There's no way in which anyone can actually pronounce SN... Snth... what you just said!"

Amos Hinton: "No, no, that is absolute nonsense. It is quite simple to say Sn38ers."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Well, however you manage it, it's definately some obscure talent you have there."

Amos Hinton: "No, no, anyone with a basic grasp of Mock Welsh can pronounce it. With yourself being from the New Europa area of NEWI Cefn Druids, you lot just use any words you like to communicate."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "I suppose, when you put it that way. But anyway, back to the match. Alan, well done today, two more goals to add to your tally. You're going to get yourself a bit of a reputation scoring like that, young lad!"

Alan Belmore: "Heh, well Björn, they were quite simple chances."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Well I wouldn't say that. The first one you extravegantly lobbed over the entire Hooligans defence from 35 yards out, and the passing movement you played a central part in for the second was divine."

Alan Belmore: "Well, you know, it wasn't bad, but I would have liked to get a few more out there."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Do you think that your manager Simon Greaves should be playing you from the start of games."

Alan Belmore: "Well, I'll just do my best, and if the boss thinks I'm doing a good job, then he'll play me."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Amos, you're part of the management team - will you be playing young Alan from the start of games?"

Amos Hinton: "No, no, no. It wouldn't be fair on everyone else!"

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Well, One Red Dot are up next, they play Kaze Progressa tonight. Anything to say on that one?"

Amos Hinton: "No."

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "Fair enough, lastly, we'll just show you this little clip of some of the half-time entertainment... obviously, you two didn't see this, but this is the Hooligan Cheerleaders, who performed while you were having the half-time team-talk. What do you think?"

Amos Hinton: "No!"

Alan Belmore: "Turn it off! It's horrible!"

Björn-Trevor Frederiksson: "OK, then, we will! Amos Hinton, Alan Belmore, thank you."

NEWI Cefn Druids

10-11-2004, 14:17

The Druids from NEWI Cefn Druids were the only ones, who gave information at all - and it was inaccurate. Eskrador was described as good team but for the Orange-Blues, it was a walkover.

There follows a full transcript of Druids manager Simon Greaves' assesment of Eskrador, as commented by Greaves down the phone line..

Simon Greaves: "Hello, Simon Greaves speaking... Oh, hello.... Yes... You're playing Eskrador... And you want us to help you... Um, could I just ask, why us?... We've played them? When?... In qualifying? I can't remember them... Well, I guess I must have been there, but that doesn't make any difference... hold on... Amos, can you remember Eskrador?"

Amos Hinton: "No."

Simon Greaves: "No, we can't remember them... unless they were those absolute no-hopers we beat quite easliy twice... You mean to say they actually qualified!?!?! Well, er, I guess they must be quite good, then... OK, no problems, goodbye now!"

Druida

10-11-2004, 14:47

The Tribune Tribune
Serving Druid Tribune and the surrounding area

THREE STRIKES AND OUT!
Trefor Blackmore on The Eagles Nest 3 Druida 0

Expected whipping boys Druida got well and truly whipped by a much more experienced and skillful Eagles Nest side. To say that they were a class apart is a bit of an understatement. TEN were in college, Druida were more kindergarten.

The trike Birds were solid throughout, so even if the rainbows had played a half-decent game, they still wouldn't have had a chance. This trend is expected to continue, as the rainbows' first venture into the World Cup looks to be coming to a sorry ending here in Bedistan. Iansisle are next, then Starblaydia, neither of whom will give Druida even the slightest of chances. I know we've written them off a couple of times, but this time, it seems, we've realised that the rainbows really are down and out.

However, one person who won't see his nations chances of glory die is President Margaret Smith, who has publicly stated his intentions to aid the rainbows in every way possible with the government's RP machine. Unfortunately, as one of his senior anonymous aides pointed out last week, nothing is going to stop this team from their seemingly inevitable nightmare.

Final Score

The Eagles Nest 3-0 Druida
Secour 16, 72
Strong 42

Eauz

10-11-2004, 18:29

Le LIBRE

Looking Strong in First Match

(Bedistan) – Les Bleus were starting their first match in a World Cup match, since being knocked out of the World Cup 17 first round. Arriving in Bedistan, Les Bleus could feel a better atmosphere, and were more welcome there, when they were in Vilita with their fans. This time around, many Eauz fans had flooded into Bedistan to watch their national team play. Many fans were upset that they had to travel to another country, when their own country was hosting a cup, but that is the way of the World Cup. Their bus took them to Holmes Stadium in the city of Columbia. This stadium is known as the oldest stadium in Bedistan, and it showed it age. It was well known for its Orangeness. The stadium is able to hold 82,814, but it seemed on MD 1, around 3/4th of the stadium was full, as many were more interested in watching other matches in Bedistan. Once final remark on this stadium, Les Bleus will play 2 of their 3 matches here, which could prove to be a helper with rest as the matches become tougher.

As for Match Day 1, Les Bleus were up against Esth, an unknown team in the eyes of the Eauz organization. The only information Eauz officials had on this team was that they love the Olympics. Les Bleus were formed in a 3 – 4 – 3 formation, as they usually play.

Eauz (3-4-3)
-----------------------------------------
| 3 |
| Rousoi |
| |
| 10 |
| 7 Thorain 9 |
| Ulfston Devereux |
| |
| 11 |
| 23 Godenot 20 |
| Manners D'Aubigne |
| 12 |
| Vasser |
| 9 11 |
| Rousseau 10 Theodoric |
| Alia |
| |
-----------------------------------------

The whistle blew with Eauz in control of the ball early. Godenot passed the ball up field, with Rousseau running towards it. Fighting for the ball in the corner, it goes out, supposedly off of the Esth player, but the referee said it went off of Eauz. This shut down the early attack by Les Bleus, giving Esth control of the ball. The throw-in was successful for Esth as they brought it up field. The Eauz defence though seemed to be an Iron commie curtain as Esth was only able to get 3/4th of the way in the Eauz zone, before getting the ball knocked out of possession. The ball though did go out of play by an Eauz player, and Esth threw it in again, going to an Esth attacker. The Attacker kicked the ball, only to be deflected by a Thorain header. The match was getting close to 30 minutes old, and Les Bleus were looking to get a serious attack going on. As D’Aubigne brought the ball up field, she passed it, just before being taken out by an Esth player. She protested, but for nothing. Theodoric took the pass, and brought it up the side. Playing with the ball, he found a way towards the goal. Instead of kicking it towards the net, he set it in the air towards Alia. Alia was tied up with the defenders, but managed to knock the ball in with his head at the 34th minute of play, putting Les Bleus up 1 – 0. Eauz fans were excited that their team wasn’t going to be the roll over of World Cup 17. With cheering fans in the stands, Alia took the ball and kicked it out of play. The match resumed as the goal seemed to inspire Les Bleus to be greater. Esth controlled the ball for a limited time they had after the goal, as Les Bleus regained it. Devereux sent a long pass up field, which was fought over by Godenot and a defender. Godenot was tripped, giving him a free kick. The kick went towards the net, but was caught by the Esth keeper, before any damage could be done. Fast-forward to the 40th minute of play as Eauz was on the attack. Vasser passed it over to D'Aubigne who let go of a rocket, sending it into the left corner of the net, with no chance by the Esth keeper, putting Les Bleus up 2 – 0 at the end of the first half. Eauz fans were celebrating their first half victory, and never learned from World Cup 17, as they were assuming another victory by Les Bleus.

A little 2nd half excitement for Esth, who to this point were no where to be found, as Les Bleus were surprised with 6 of their players on the attack, as the Esth keeper quickly got rid of the ball. An Esth attack saw the ball passed towards the centre, as an Esth forward kicked the ball. Rousoi though was in top shape, blocking the ball and sending it out of play. A corner kick led to nothing as the ball was knocked out of play, and into Eauz possession. Moving to the 60th minute of play Les Bleus wanted to shut the door on any spirit Esth had from that early 2nd attack. Alia was looking to score his 2nd goal of the match as they got in near the net. The shot was taken, only going off the cross bar, and back into play. Fortunately Theodoric was there to tap it in, putting Les Bleus up 3 – 0. The Esth keeper had no chance, in this match, for his defence had let him down, as the match finished by the 3 – 0 score. Les Bleus and their manager know that this was a given victory for their team and that the tough matches are to come. Nonetheless, Les Bleus will take the 3 points and the 3 GF to top their group.

The next match for Les Bleus will be against The Lowland Clans, who lost their first match of this group 2 – 0 against LE. Look for this team to put up some tough competition against Les Bleus, for they do not want to be disqualified from the competition so soon. MD2 could also provide answers as to who will qualify in Group H, for LE and Eauz have both won MD1.

Match Day 1: Eauz vs. Esth & Liverpool England vs. The Lowland Clans
Match Day 2: Eauz vs. The Lowland Clans & Esth vs. Liverpool England
Match Day 3: Eauz vs. Liverpool England & The Lowland Clans vs. Esth

Group H
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Eauz 3 1 0 0 3:0 3
2. Liverpool England 3 1 0 0 2:0 2
3. The Lowland Clans 0 0 0 1 0:2 -2
4. Esth 0 0 0 1 0:3 -3

Bedistan

10-11-2004, 22:46

Matchday 1 scores have been posted. (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=7449111&posted=1#post7449111) Matchday 2 scores are on their way to a telegram box near you.

Squornshelous

11-11-2004, 01:38

Squornshelous Draws?

AGAIN?!!!

Final Score:
Squornshelous 1-1 Jeruselem[/COLOR]

[B]Squornshelous Scorers:
Raskolnikov: 16
Puente: 9
Castillan: 6
Arnesson: 3
Friedel: 1

Svecia

11-11-2004, 02:17

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

LIGHTNING MARCH TO DIFFERNT ´TOON
Svecia defeat Artoonia, take revenge for qualifying loss

Artoonia 2 Svecia 4

- The Bordeux Stadium was awash in orange and blue as the Lightning supporters turned out to watch their team take down Artoonia, a team that gave Svecia their only loss in qualifying, in a rematch that both sides were looking for.

In quite a high scoring match, the Lightning beat out Artoonia to take two of three games from them this World Cup. This left players, manages, and fans all happy.

Artoonia showed they would make a game of it again as they struck first in the 23rd minute of play. A cross into the area brought Piet van Meer off his line to punch away the ball, but he ran smack into defender Tomas Kristiansand and the ball bounced to an Artoonia player who struck it sweetly home.

Svecia answered in the 37th minute. As Hanan Belagt brought the ball down field, he sent a through ball that met up perfectly with the streaking Mikael Solskjaer, who made no mistake putting in the equalizer.

Artoonia put themselves one up again just two minutes before halftime. And again it was Tomas Kristiansand who found himself claiming the unwanted title of scapegoat. A slight nudge on the Artoonia forward dribbling into the area was enough to send the forward sprawling, and a yellow card for Kristiansand followed. Replays showed barely any contact between the two players, but nevertheless it was a penalty. Although van Meer dived the correct direction, it was too high for him and the ball hit the back of the net.

But as much as it looked grim for the Lightning going into halftime, their fans never gave up hope, and it was this perhaps more than any other factor that pushed Svecia to put up three second half unanswered goals.

An equalizer in the 58th minute from a Mikael Solskjaer free kick cut out the Artoonia fans´ noise, making it easier for the Lightning fans. And then Joël Simão put the Lightning up for good with a long range shot in the 69th minute. Set up on the edge of the area by Lars Svensson, Simão found himself wide open and used the opportunity to his advantage.

And finally Tomas Kristiansand made up for his mistakes by putting in the final goal. His powerful header in the 82nd minute off of Solskjaer´s corner kick deflated the Artoonia side fully.

Svecia´s final match is against the Vilita, and Svecians will be looking for a huge game against this hated team, despite it being their first meeting. Svecians remember the Vilita newspaper´s prediction of the Lightning finishing in a qualifying group in 5th place in World Cup 13. This will be a huge match as well, as the Lightning try to prove that they should finish above Vilita, despite many newspapers´ predictions again that Svecia will not win this game.

Audioslavia

11-11-2004, 02:44

REVENGE
'slaves avenge WC17 defeat to Falcons
In a topsy-turvy second round, Audioslavia were one of the many teams to get turned over by the underdogs.

The match started well enough for Audioslavia. After six minutes Alexander Marriot sprinted through a gap in the defence and smashed the ball past Marmoerus to get the first goal of the game, and Audioslavia's 400th goal in their history. Twenty odd minutes of pressure followed where the 'slaves attempted to make up for a shoddy performance against The Lowland Clans. Marriot almost scored again as he pounced on a loose ball in the area but saw his shot charged down by Ancora. Tessem diverted a Johansen cross onto the top of the bar, and Aidey Jaynes almost scored the goal of the tournament as he faked a cross from the left, instead cutting inside the full back Marcos, nutmegging Girillo but shooting well wide of the target.

With the cracking opening half-hour and the milestone goal, fate had decided that Audioslavia would defeat all-comers and go to the final of the seventeenth world cup.

Aquiliana had decided that fate knew fuck-all. The newcomers not giving two shits about history, fate and shit like that. The bastards.

The backlash started with a Haesit corner, a Messor header and an Audioslavian net rippling with shock, dissapointment, but mostly a big white ball displaying the word "cunted!".

Aquiliana ripped into the 'slaves throughout the last minutes of the first half, with Cuniculus coming closest out of an array of chances, bringing the ball down expertly, nipping past Johnstone, chipping the ball over the advancing Fenwick but seeing his shot slice away to hit the far post and bounce out of play.

The second half saw Aquiliana out-play the 'slaves in midfield and take the game by the scruff of the neck. Cuniculus again saw a shot hit the post and Auguratius came close with a long-range hit which grazed the top of the bar.

The 'slaves only began to re-take control of the game in the dying moments. Marriot again had the better chance as Bracken sliced a shot badly away to the right where the young number 14 was waiting to volley the ball, only for Marmoreus to be well positioned to smother it.

Bracken was woefully bad during the second half, seeming to lose faith as time and time again he was crowded out or disposessed by a white shirt. By eighty-five minutes he'd been substitued for James Laver, along with Calem O`Rourke who made way for ex-captain Jens Rep.

The best chance of the final minutes of the game fell to Aquiliana, countering after another fruitless Audioslavia attack. Cuniculus and Haesit exchanged passes down the right, Haesit beat Rep for pace and crossed for Auguratius who was arriving in the box. The striker let fly and full pelt but keeper Haydn Fenwick somehow got across and beat the ball over the bar for the best save the keeper will probably ever make. The resulting corner was pretty much wasted by the Falcons as Rep cleared to the tune of the final whistle. Audioslavia were about to go into extra-time.

Compared to the fast-paced, exciting match, the first period of extra time was abysmal. Both sides not wanting to concede and so playing as conservatively as possible. Neither side created a good chance in the half, but the second half saw Audioslavia gradually take the upper hand, buoyed on by their final substition, William Ryder coming on for midfielder Jodey Tessem. Aquiliana too made two substituions. A tiring Girillo came off in exchange for Mendax Rodriges, whilst 34-year old Istic Præfrigidi was replaced by a striker Resupo Cornix.

Audioslavia's substituion was very close to having immediate effect, as Ryder pounded the cross-bar with a superb shot, but it was Aquiliana who broke the deadlock. Cornix and Cuniculus played off each other beautifully on the edge of the area resulting in Cuniculus being put through by a well-placed chip and finishing past Fenwick for 2-1

The goal took what little wind there was out of Audioslavia's sails and the 'slaves seemed devoid of an answer. Ryder and Laver found it impossible to penetrate the Aquiliana defence which held strong and, with the exception of an Ally Marriot strike which sailed over the bar, Audioslavia were never going to get back in contention.

As the final whistle blew several Audioslavians left the stadium disgusted at the 'slaves, a few others sat and stared at the dancing white shirts on the field and the other side of the stadium. Either way, Audioslavia were out, and Aquiliana had become the joint-most succesful new-nation in history.

Audioslavia avenged their WC17 defeat yesterday against Aquiliana.

After the 2-1 AET defeat in WC17, Audioslavia were out for revenge against the team which many Audioslavians feel denied them a world cup finals spot.

In an almost-remake of that second round match, Audioslavia lined up in their traditional claret and green striped shirts, with Aquiliana in all white.

As with the WC17 game, Audioslavia scored first, Cailan Fox breaking through on the right to whip a low ball in for Jackie McLlroy to finish. After that however, it was all Aquilliana for the first half as they sought to get that equalising goal.

As in WC17, Aquilliana equalised before the break, Cuniculus controlling the ball, knocking it past Crevan and curling a beautiful shot round Andersson for 1-1.

Half-time approached with the sides at 1-1, before the match turned into a brilliant end-to-end struggle. Audioslavia came the closest in the first two minutes as Oliver Dannes smacked the ball against the cross-bar from eight yards. Aquilliana then went back on the counter, Pumilio brought a good save out of Andersson whilst Cuniculus rounded the goalkeeper only to hit the ball accross the face of the goal.

1-1 with twenty-minutes remaining, Audioslavia scored what was to be the deciding goal. 17 year old substitute Daley Black got himself on the end of an Arie Jansen cross and scooped the ball into the roof of the net from the far post.

RP unfinished, am very drunk, need sleep but also needed to know how we did against Aquilliana :)

FINAL SCORE
Audioslavia 2 (McLlroy 28 - Black 74)
Aquilliana 1 (Cuniculus 41)

With Commerce Heights playing Tadjikistan tommorow, this is how group F currently stands:Group F

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Audioslavia 2 2 0 0 4 2 2 6
2 Commerce Heights 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
3 Tadjikistan 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
4 Aquiliana 2 0 0 2 1 3 -2 0The 'slaves are a-top of the group having won, albiet narrowly, their first two games. This leaves the two defeated teams, Tadjikistan and Aquilliana, on zero. If Tadjikistan draw with Commerce Heights tommorow, Audioslavia are definately through, if CH beat the Tigers, Audioslavia are definately through. Its only if Tadjikistan win, and Audioslavia lose to CH and Tadjikistan beat Aquilliana, that Audioslavia could go out.

Aquilliana desperately need Tadjikistan to defeat Commerce Heights tommorow, as well as needing to beat Tadjikistan themsleves by and for the 'slaves to beat CH. That, of course, will only happen if Goal Difference goes their way.

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake, g'nite bitches.

The Eagles Nest

11-11-2004, 04:00

Strike Birds Tie Starblaydia 1-1

Eagle's Nest Prepares for MD3 against Iansisle

The Eagle's Nest played a hard fought second half to keep their one point as they tied Starblaydia 1-1 today in World Cup Group play. With the tie, the Nest sits with 4 points, Starblaydia gained their first point in Group D play.

Siggy Secour answered Starblaydia's goal at 13 minutes with a near decapitating shot at the 17th minute. At this point, both offenses seemed to sputter not geting much more than entry passes into either side of the field as the midfield on both sides shut down the offense.

The Second half was a long string of attack and counterattacks, but the defense again got the most of the attempts, as both sides played hard to keep the point they earned while tring to steal 2 more.

Coach Aefnen declined comment tonight, citing preperation time for the pivital match against Iansisle. Let's look at the known table:

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 The Eagle's Nest 2 1 1 0 4 1 3 4
2 Iansisle 1 1 0 0 3 1 2 3
3 Starblaydia 2 0 1 1 2 4 -2 1
4 Druida 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0

If Iansisle won or tied, then the Nest would have to lose to Iansisle by a lot combined with Starblaydia winning over Druida by a lot to lose on Goal Differential. If Druida won, then the Nest will have to play their best as there will be two teams at 3 points sitting right behind them. The good thing is that the Nest does have a Goal Differntial in the positive.

Stay tuned!

Liverpool England

11-11-2004, 04:32

5-1 Win Secures Qualification

Liverpool England qualified for the second round in style by thumping Esth 5-1 to go top of the table on goal difference. With Eauz in dire need of a result against the Philosophers, Ralph Sirx has stated that he may rest some players, but told the Eauzian team not to expect too much. Kelvin Johnson will be unavailable through suspension after his sending off against The Lowland Clans on Matchday 1, he marked his last group phase game of the campaign with a hat-trick, and one assist. Antoine Player, expected to start in place of Johnson, scored his second and third international goals from the penalty spot.

Esth 1 Liverpool England 5
[S. Omeone 41; K. Johnson 14, 18, 76; Player 54p, 61p]

Le Rejistance: What a Name

Liverpool England and Rejistanian officials surprised the footballing world today by announcing a cohost World Cup 19 bid. When asked about this, FALE chairman Paul Dussis refused to comment, but ntoed that he hoped "things will work out well, and we could have the cup in Liverpool England without winning it."

Eauz

11-11-2004, 05:35

Le LIBRE

History repeating itself?

(Bedistan) – Les Bleus were back at Holmes Stadium in the city of Columbia, to face off against regional rival The Lowland Clans, who were coming off of a tough 2 – 0 loss to Liverpool England. Fans were getting settled into the stadium, as a count went around of the attendance, with a record of 75,439, once again not at its maximum. Many Eauz fans were in attendance to watch their team, hopefully qualify for the next round of the cup. History between these two teams is vague, but they have played many friendlies between the two teams. Les Bleus were formed once again in a 3 – 4 – 3 formation, the same as the last match day.

Eauz (3-4-3)
-----------------------------------------
| 3 |
| Rousoi |
| |
| 10 |
| 7 Thorain 9 |
| Ulfston Devereux |
| |
| 11 |
| 23 Godenot 20 |
| Manners D'Aubigne |
| 12 |
| Vasser |
| 9 11 |
| Rousseau 10 Theodoric |
| Alia |
| |
-----------------------------------------

With anxious Eauz fans chanting for their team to win this match, and prove that last world cup was only a fluke, Les Bleus started out strong passing the ball around in the TLC zone. Rousseau found a hole in the defence of the TLC team, sending a pass towards Alia. Alia took the shot, but was deflected over the cross bar by the keeper. A corner kick was awarded, which was kicked by Manners. It went over the crowd of players and in possession of D’Aubigne, who took a shot which sailed just wide of the net. Les Bleus were getting their chances, but nothing was actually going in. Up to the 30th minute of play, Les Bleus were in control of the ball for 70% of the time. During the 32nd minute of play, TLC finally found some momentum to go on, as they brought the ball up into the Eauz zone. Godenot slid to tackle a player, but ended up getting a yellow card for the attack on the player. A long distance free kick was awarded, which was taken. It curved to the left, where a TLC forward headed it towards the net. Rousoi was unable to get his hand on it, as it sailed passed him. TLC went up 1 – 0, despite the strong performance by Les Bleus. The two teams would be locked in a defensive battle towards the end of the first half, as Les Bleus could not seem to get anything to go into the TLC net.

The second half saw Eauz fans searching for their team, which had won 3 – 0 in match day 1. TLC seemed to keep Eauz quiet during the 2nd half of the match. During the 66th minute of play, TLC was attacking again as a high pass towards the centre of the penalty zone was taken, headed towards Rousoi. This time though, Rousoi was able to hold onto the ball. As the match wound down, TLC was on the attack again, as a TLC forward sneaked through the Eauz defence and towards the goal. They took the shot, sending it to the opposite side of where they were. It hit the post, but dropped back into the net, putting TLC up 2 – 0 at the 86th minute of play, and breaking the hearts of Eauz fans. There was one bright spot for Les Bleus though, as during the 90th minute, Theodoric was pulled down in the penalty zone, rewarding Alia the free kick. Alia took the shot, and put it in for Les Bleus, making the score 2 – 1. Unfortunately, it was too little, too late for Les Bleus, as they went on to a 2 – 1 loss.

This is an upsetting victory for Les Bleus, as they were hoping to push aside any problems of World Cup 17, and start on a fresh page. They didn’t want to have to go into a decisive final match against Liverpool England who qualified for the next round already. The manager said “Well, we will just have to play the match at our best. We can’t say, “Well, maybe Esth will win, and then it won’t matter if we win or lose”, because we can’t rely on that to happen. So far in this group, the higher ranked teams have beaten Esth.” As for the match against Liverpool England, Les Bleus will have to face their ghosts of World Cup 17 again. If they are to have any chance in this match, they must believe in themselves and ignore anything which occurred in the past. In other news, it was reported that Liverpool England might be resting some of its starters, which could be a big relief for Les Bleus.

Match Day 1: Eauz vs. Esth & Liverpool England vs. The Lowland Clans
Match Day 2: Eauz vs. The Lowland Clans & Esth vs. Liverpool England
Match Day 3: Eauz vs. Liverpool England & The Lowland Clans vs. Esth

Group H

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Liverpool England 2 2 0 0 7 1 6 6
2 Eauz 2 1 0 1 4 2 2 3
3 The Lowland Clans 2 1 0 1 2 3 -1 3
4 Esth 2 0 0 2 1 8 -7 0

Jeruselem

11-11-2004, 13:58

Jeruselem Government News

Jeruselem hold up Squornshelous

Squornshelous was expected to beat Jeruselem for their group match in World Cup XVII, but it didn't happen. Jeruselem who got clobbered by TnUI, drew with Squornshelous 1-1 to force Squornshelous make the showdown with rival TnUI critical.

Jeruselem meet Turori and must draw or win to make a difference while TnUI must do Jeruselem a favour and beat Squornshelous.

Coach David Becks was upbeat "We expected to lose this game, but now we must win. A draw is no good if Squornshelous win as TnUI are going to be fired up for a big game. Destiny is our hands and into best 16 we want to be but it's all in God's hands now."

A full strength team is expected to play the next game which will determine the fate of who will make the top 16. All senior team members are expected to play and history is the making or a close call.

Squornshelous 1
Jeruselem 1

NEWI Cefn Druids

11-11-2004, 14:29

The Daily Druid

ALAN BELMORE SCORES AGAIN
Now where have we seen that before?
Björn-Trevor Frederiksson on NEWI Cefn Druids 1 One Red Dot 0

After matchday one, NEWI Cefn Druids were left impressively topping their group with... um... one point. Yes, the classic seperator that is alphabetical order kept NEWI Cef Druids above Snub Nose 30 after their opening game. Their opponents yesterday were One Red Dot, who were bottom of the group on the same deciding factor after their goalless draw against the more alphabetically astute Kaze Progressa.

This match was another tight one, with neither side wanting to give anything away. Chances were few and far between, and when anyone did get one, the two goalkeepers were in such fine form that it seemed like nothing would go in if both teams tried all day.

That was until the Druids' boy wonder came into play again. For the second game in a row, Simon Greaves brought striker Alan Belmore on for midfielder Trevor Rodgers, though this time a bit later, wit honly 25 minutesw left, and again he came up trumps.

The Druids' goal was an absolutely brilliant free kick that looked as if it had been worked on in training. Bill Posters, instead of unleashing the usual curling shot we have become accustomed to, laid the ball off to Gessemschmitthaagen-Po, who chipped the ball into the penalty area in the direction on Belmore, who flicked the ball over everyone's heads into the net.

And so the rise of Alan Belmore continues. The Druids' win means that a draw in their final match against Kaze Progressa would see them through, no matter what happens in the game tonight between Snub Nose 38 and KP and the Hooligans' match against ORD later in the week. If the Druids lose their last game, it all gets rather complicated, and I can't really be bothered working it out, so I'll leave that for you to do after tonight's match.

Meanwhile, the traditional sporting rivals of NEWI Cefn Druids, Sliponia, have announced that they will be returning to international football for World Cup 19. Despite the sporting history between the two nations, we very much welcome them back into the fold, as we haven't had a proper rival since. Well, there was a slight one with Eauz when we seemed to be playing them constantly, but nothing to match the Druidish-Sliponian one. Sliponia, we salute you!

Final score:
NEWI Cefn Druids 1 [Belmore 84]
One Red Dot 0

Jeruselem

11-11-2004, 15:17

OOC

Alan Belmore, his clones are everywhere! :)

Snub Nose 38

11-11-2004, 15:20

Ministry of Statistics, Other Totally Useless Information, and Band Aids Press Release

With two World Cup XVIII matchdays complete, NEWI Cefn Druids have stepped foward as the leader in Group E - although only on the strength of their win over One Red Dot on matchday 2. All of the other three sides in Group E have yet to win a match - the Hooligans have drawn twice (once with the Group E leaders, and most recently with Kaze Progressa in today's match), Kaze Progressa also has two draws, and One Red Dot a draw and a loss. Group E results are:

GROUP E

Matchday 1
NEWI Cefn Druids 2-2 Snub Nose 38
Kaze Progressa 0-0 One Red Dot

Matchday 2
Kaze Progressa 2-2 Snub Nose 38
NEWI Cefn Druids 1-0 One Red Dot

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 NEWI Cefn Druids 2 1 1 0 3 2 1 4
2 Snub Nose 38 2 0 2 0 4 4 0 2
3 Kaze Progressa 2 0 2 0 2 2 0 2
4 One Red Dot 2 0 1 1 0 1 -1 1

Next up: NEWI Cefn Druids take on the Kaze Progressans, and the Hooligans play what our statisticians believe to be their first match ever with the One Red Dotians.

Snub Nose 38

11-11-2004, 15:50

*we find ourselves in a rather dilapidated, albeit large, tent. the furnishings - well, we suspect someone went 'round with a pickup and picked 'em up off the street. no matter, this is hooligan headquarters! over by the propped open tent flap we see eileen dover, rum and coke in hand. she's going over what appear to be scouting reports on one-red-dot. justin case is napping on an army surplus cot over in the corner. and in the middle of the tent, in burgundy robes and a midnight blue hooded cape, is someone known only as 'margaret'*

- ...scoring okay, but the defense...well, I mean, what defense?
- But Margaret, they haven't lost a match.
- I know that, you poor brainless boob you, but they haven't won a match either.
- Why must you always descend to personal attacks?
- Why must you always descend to brainless chatter?
- You are so rude!
- Can it, bozo. Look, get me another chicken, will ya? Gotta try something.
- 'Kay. Say, how are these birds working out?
- Wudda ya mean?
- Well...is this batch up to snuff?
- What snuff? What batch? What's up?
- ...er...
- Could you answer at least one of my questions?
- Well...um...I think you're about four questions ahead of me. Which shall I answer?
- I suggest you answer them all, Minister.
- ...gack!...Jack Cass! How many times have I told you to stop just popping in like that? You'll be the death of me yet, you fool.
- Sorry, Margaret. Comes with the territory.
- Territory?
- Ministry of Super Secret Sleuthery and all that.
- Quite.
- Right.
- Hey! Where do you think you're going, nimwit?
- ...er...well...just seeing if I could "pop out" like Jack, you know...
- Well, ya can't. Stop squirming, and answer my questions.
- Do.
- Do what?
- Answer her questions. Margaret, has he gotten dumber?
- No...it's just hard to believe anyone that dumb can get about on their own at all, is all.
- Rude! R - U - D - E! Rude!
- And after all that - you still haven't answered my questions.
- Oh...well...lemme see...um...
- Hint..."Could you answer at least one of my question"?
- Er...Yes?
- Excellent! That was, in fact, an answer. Although you almost spoiled it with that little questioning rise in your tone at the end there...
- Um...I think you were asking me about my question to you about what you thought of the most recent batch of chickens?
- Look, lame brain, just tell me this. Why did you ask me about 'em in the first place?
- Oh...is that all? Well, you see, I got these on sale...
- On sale?
- Yes. Half off, you know.
- On sale?
- Yes...reduced price? See, this batch was from the Academy of Science. Old Albert Onestone did some genetic modification to them, and they...
- GENETIC MODIFICATION!!!???
- Yes...
- I will give you a 10 second head start. That's all. Then, I'm gonna kill ya.
- Margaret, don't be ri...
- One...
- ...diculous. Just because...
- Two...
- If I were you, I'd be moving - quickly, and in almost any direction.
- Three...
- But, Jack - she can't be in earnest?
- Four...
- I believe she is, Minister. I believe she is.
- Five...

*the minister of athletics, olympics, and alcoholic beverages unceremoniously takes his leave. quickly. we think he's headed west.*

EL CID THE HERO

11-11-2004, 17:54

EL CID NEWS.
NEWS YOU CAN USE.

sports news

THATS 2-1

Melmond 2 (?,36,67)
EL CID THE HERO 1 (TROTTER,17PEN)

It was with a great chear as El Cid The Hero and Melmond stepped onto the Eauz pitch. the two sides having met each other twice before this match in the world cup qualifying rounds. Two matches that had prvided some of the best enjoyment of the lions tornament. the first match was on the lions home ground was a tight contest in wich El Cid got the win in a 3-1 game with a few interesting moments for both sides. The 2nd match the farmers had home
advantige ang managed to get the only goal of the match and to win the day. This match on a neutral ground was going to be enjoyable.

After defeating Bedistan El Cid had a lot of hope that they would win this match too. They would then be the lowest ranked team in the group and would have beaten the two top ranked teams. As allways the lions got off to a good start by geting a PEN after Dent was triped up in the box by a melmond player in the box. The Ref didn't give a card ?and this caused a large part of the El Cid crowd to shout "OFF OFF OFF." This cry however was replaced be chears when Trotter blasted it away from the keeper and into the goal.

However Like so many other matches the lions couldn't keep their lead and by the 36th min it was 1-1 when a Melmond got through the El Cid defence and sloted it into the back of the net.

"The defence was just lost at that point." said West at half time "i am just shocked we didn't let in more goals then we did."

At the half time with both teams getting as much as the ball as the other it looked as if it could go ever way. This showed in the 2nd half with both teams locked in a mid field battle and slugging it out for any advantage they could find. but it was Melmond who got through. With the lions defence in mid field a great pass by the melmond team by-passed them and in this 1 on 1 El cid was the loser. 2-1 and that's how it remained.

with only one game to go the lions need a win to be confident of getting through to the round of 16. in this 11th hour keep reading to find out if it will be El Cid or Lovisa in wonderland.

Group D
Bedistan
Melmond
Lovisa
EL CID THE HERO

MD1 BED V CID W 0-2
MD2 MEL V CID L 2-1
MD3 LOV V CID

Bedistan

12-11-2004, 04:06

The Bedistan Sports Digest

That's More Like It
Offense comes out of coma for big win

BRUZZE, Eauz -- Though EL CID THE HERO were certainly no slouches in their opening World Cup XVIII match against Bedistan, many critics felt that the offense of the latter was asleep at the wheel, so to speak, failing to come up with anything useful in a 2-0 loss. Lions manager Brandon Barton took these comments to heart and worked constantly with the team's primary scorers in preparation for a critical match against Lovisa at Parc des Mémoire. And boy, did it work.

Right out of the gate, captain Jackson Reinhardt put the scoreboard to work by giving Bedistan their first goal after two minutes and 35 seconds. Energized by this, the Lions' offense continued to press, and fellow striker Benjamin Xi made it two just seven minutes later. Up two-nil after just ten minutes, Bedistan cooled off just a bit, playing primarily defensive football for the remainder of the half. The defense got a bit unlucky, though, when Lovisan Guy #6 managed to just get past Dave al-Armani on the left-hand side (from the attacker's point of view) and into the six-yard box, letting loose a shot that goalkeeper paulinem didn't have the slightest chance of catching; the Lions' lead was suddenly cut in half. Not long afterward, an attack from Lovisan Guy #9 was only stopped by Carl Chang heading the ball backward over the net, giving Lovisa a corner kick. This kick would be converted by a well-placed Lovisan Guy #4, who headed the ball in for the equalizer. The score remained two-two at halftime.

Barton decided that the reason for Lovisa's two goals was not a problem with his defense, but just a very concerted effort from the Lovisan side, and as such he elected to make no changes to the squad at halftime. This proved to be a good decision, as Lovisa would start the second half aggressively, forcing the experienced back line to make numerous dispossessions, saves, and other assorted defensive manuevers in order to keep the heat off of paulinem in goal. One of the Lovisan attacks was instantly converted by al-Armani into a Bedistani attack with his powerful pass upfield to Yoshimo Takahara, who played the ball up to Pook on the front line. Pook capped it off by scoring his first international goal as he watched the ball sail just past Lovisan Guy #1's outstretched fingertips for 3-2. A lucky penalty shot awarded to Lovisa later in the half equalized the score again at three. Then came Pook's time to shine. He began showing off all he had learned from his best friend Zonk, who also plays for Yuba United, and proceeded to score two more goals in the closing minutes of the match, securing his hat-trick and also securing a 5-3 win for the Bedistani team.

"That's more like it," said Barton after the match. "This was a great example of what Bedistani football really is; this was one of our finest efforts. If we play like this against Melmond, we should almost certainly find ourselves in the second round. I'd still like to patch up the defense, though: we've let in five goals in two matches now, and we can't afford to let the Fearless Farmers score that many goals."

Combined with Melmond's 2-1 win over EL CID, Group D looks like the standings in the 2000 Florida presidential election:

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 EL CID THE HERO 2 1 0 1 3 2 1 3
2 Bedistan 2 1 0 1 5 5 0 3
3 Melmond 2 1 0 1 2 2 0 3
4 Lovisa 2 1 0 1 4 5 -1 3

That's about as close as it gets, folks. But the Lions are in control of their own destiny here, believe it or not. If we defeat Melmond, we're guaranteed a top-two finish, and could possibly win the group depending on the EL CID-Lovisa result. If Bedistan and Melmond draw, they are guaranteed second and third place respectively, with EL CID and Lovisa finishing first and fourth, the order depending on the result of that match (if EL CID don't lose, they move on; if they do, Lovisa moves on). If Bedistan should happen to lose to the Fearless Farmers, Bedistan is out of contention and Melmond moves on along with the winner of EL CID-Lovisa (EL CID in the case of a draw). So the mission is very simple: don't lose.

BEDISTAN 5
J. Reinhardt 3; B. Xi 10; Pook 57, 79, 85
LOVISA 3
Lovisan Guy #6 27, Lovisan Guy #4 40, Lovisan Guy #8 pen 63

Rejistania

12-11-2004, 10:18

Abysmal terrorist kills himself

Mkvi from Abysmalistan is very patriotic. He likes to live in Abysmalistan and even has some effort to change things, which he doesn't like. He does not like emigration and people who do something against the abysmali reputation of failing. Sirx, or how is called now, Ralph Sirx is a real annoyment to him, not only his failure to be abysmal, but also the fact that he appodted the citizenship of a country which is not abysmal at all and doesn't even have real swamps stirred his anger. Mkvi decided to send a letterbomb to Sirx in an attempt to kill the non-abysmal overarchiever. Fortunately for Mr. Sirx, Mkvi either underestimated the weight of the letter or the abysmal inflation. The Abysmal Mail Service sent the letter back due to the too low postage. The abysmal wanna-be terrorist opened the letter and the mailbomb exploded killling him.

Like a lemming to the sea

The Orange-Blues played against Lemmitania as first ranked team, in any other match, this would have been a good sign, but not against Lemmitania. In all the previos matches against the Lemmings and the Orange-Blues, the team, which happened to be ranked first was defeated. Thanks to Taderekansa or whatever higher being you believe in, this streak was broken now and the Orange-Blues won 2:0.

Coach SyLy selected Esri Rija-Jesa to start instead of Syly Kansu and the Riandu player has proven worth of SyLy's trust. He played well in the defense and prevented the first chance of the Lemmings mainly because he stayed cool despite the high number of beautiful female players in the Lemmitanian team (rumours that Esri Rija-Jesa is gay again spread after the match). The Lemmistani team played rather offensively, and the Orange-Blues had some trouble with parrying the chances, mainly because they never play against an all-female team, but despite that, the Orange-Blue defense kept the score down to nil all for the first half. In the second half, the Orange-Blues had more chances, mainly because the Lemmings had stamina issues. In the 68th minute, Salakerijasamenatira "Sa" Harakemindanutikejil managed to score for the Orange-Blues: after a corner-kick of Sasijilvenku "Sasi" Dikelesinivetisaru, he headed the ball past the Lemmitanian goalie. The eauzian stadium speaker forgot to switch the microphone off when he finished announcing it. The rejistani fans who understood french could hear him cursing why the rejistanis have no pronouncable names. It was lucky for him that Ji Y scored the 2:0 only 3 minutes before the end of the match. The Orange-Blues attacked over the right wing, where apparently was a weakness of the Lemmings. Tuade Lue managed to get past the the defense, but then quickly passed to Ji Y. the Lemmitanian goalie did not expect this and so the ball went past him with ease. It is very likely that the Orange-Blues are qualified for the round of 16* despite not knowing the result of the match between former finalists Dance 2 Revolution and Eskrador.

The result:
Rejistania 2 (Harakemindanutikejil 68th Ji Y 89th)
Lemmitania 0

*OOC: isn't it a real problem for you english-speakers not to have a word like 'Achtelfinale'? Round of 16 is such a complicated way to put it.

Total n Utter Insanity

12-11-2004, 10:31

7 places stilll left in the next Under 21 World Cup (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=371375&page=2&pp=15) starting probably close to the end of this World Cup.

Druida

12-11-2004, 11:14

The Tribune Tribune
Serving Druid Tribune and the surrounding area

RAINBOWS SCORE POINT!
Trefor Blackmore on Iansisle 1 Druida 1

The surprises keep on coming. Just about everyone thought that the Druida team would be lucky if they cme away with no points at all. But after last night's result against Iansisle, it seems that they have surpassed all expectations of them.

To be honest, though, they were incredibly lucky. The Ians dominated the match from start to finish, but somehow couldn't get past the typical Trevor Kallins defence consisting of everyone getting back except Urk, who is such a legend that he doesn't need to come back. And the tactic seemed to work. Lyon, Ravenhill and Cotton juust couldn't seem to get through for the Ians, time after time their attacks were thwarted by a sturdy rainbows backline and some unbelieveable saves from Edwards.

It was going well, until midway through the second half, when Urk's fellow Zucchini, Thunk, was hit by a poor Trefor Myffanwy clearence that flew over Trefor "Elastic" Edwards' head into the goal.

Disaster. But, instead of going for the goal, Druida were still being penned back. Then, just as the match was going into stoppage time, Urk broke clear. The Iansisle defence were completely stunned by this, as they'd had nothing to do all game, and it caught them unawares. Urk simply ran the length of the Ians' half and slid the ball between Tom Nielsen's legs. One-all, and there was no way back in front for the Ians.

And so, into the final game against Bekkside neighbours Starblaydia. Both sides have not had the best of times, with them both having scored just a solitary point so far. But, if by some kind of miracle the results somehow go either side's way, one of the two sides could make it through. But it seems very unlikely.

Final Score

Iansisle 1-1 Druida
Thunk (og) 68 Urk 90

Iansisle

12-11-2004, 11:31

((You would post just a few (well, fifteen) minutes before I finished mine, wouldn’t you? ;)))

Who to Blame This Time?
Fates, Audioslavia, Planetary Alignment among usual suspects

EAUZ -- Iansisleans were more than just angry at only managing a draw with Druidia. They were downright homicidal.

“I am going to find every Audioslavian I can find,” said one fan with murder gleaming in his eyes, “and squeeze their neck until they stop crying for mercy. THE IANS WILL BE AVENGED!”

To date, no direct evidence has surfaced that Audioslavia was connected with the match, but most fans seem to be drawing that conclusion without official help.

Also popular on the fans’ lists is the planet Mars.

“Did you know that right now it is possible to draw a straight line between the planets Earth and Mars?” asked one astrologer. “That only happens three-hundred and sixty-five days a year! Obviously, that’s what caused the Ians to only draw with a clearly inferior team.”

However, the government is now more interested in insuring that the Ians move on.

“We’ve entered into negotiations with the Eagles Nest,” said Director of Foreign Affairs Benjamin Rinehart. “We both take a dive, so to speak - a draw, and both of us move on. Everyone’s happy; well, except Starblaydia and Druidia. But no one cares what they think.”

However, some disagreed with the government’s decision.

“There can be no compromise with the Eagles Nest,” said one Ians fan. “Today’s travesty must be avenged. We must cast the Strike Birds down and feast upon the roasted flesh of their sons and consorts! By God, THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!”

In other news, the Constituent Assembly passed legislation moments ago forbiding any references to Highlander in sports publications.

Snub Nose 38

12-11-2004, 13:45

*OOC: isn't it a real problem for you english-speakers not to have a word like 'Achtelfinale'? Round of 16 is such a complicated way to put it.Rejis: In English, we are required to actually have a word before we can use it. It seems to me the rules are a little looser in German, and if you need a word, you just sort of jam two or three old words together until you have one you like...;)

Snub Nose 38

12-11-2004, 14:04

Final Score

Iansisle 1-1 Druida
Thunk (og) 68 Urk 90
[/code]Remington County Record

Rash of Radio Repairs Reported
Sten Lauren D'Order

Those who keep records of such things (we believe that would be the "Tenuous Hold On Reality" division of the Ministry of Statistics, Other Totally Useless Information, and Band Aids) today reported a large spike in the number of radios brought in for repair to Registered Radio Repair and Diaper Services throughout the Borderlands. An initial review of the repair tickets finds that a large portion of our citizenry had been listening to the Druida-Iansisle match. Upon hearing "thunk" and "urk" eminate from their radios during the match wrap-up, they turned them off immediately and brought them in for repair.

It is understood that VG 32* was the average charged for this "repair". A class action suit has been filed with the Department of Justice and Real Estate. Justice and Real Estate were not available for comment as they were out finalizing the purchase of the land for the new Snub Nose 38 National Stadium.

*VG - Vodka Gimlets, the national currency of the Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38

Snub Nose 38

12-11-2004, 14:21

...blah, blah, blah...However, the government is now more interested in insuring that the Ians move on.

“We’ve entered into negotiations with the Eagles Nest,” said Director of Foreign Affairs Benjamin Rinehart. “We both take a dive, so to speak - a draw, and both of us move on. Everyone’s happy; well, except Starblaydia and Druidia. But no one cares what they think.”

However, some disagreed with the government’s decision.

“There can be no compromise with the Eagles Nest,” said one Ians fan. “Today’s travesty must be avenged. We must cast the Strike Birds down and feast upon the roasted flesh of their sons and consorts! By God, THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!”
MESSAGE, Classified, One Each

To:
Benjamin Rinehart
Director of Foreign Affairs
Iansisle

From:
Mininstry of Super Secret Sleuthery
Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38

Subject: Wanna Win, or What?

Sir, Madam, Other (please select appropriate salutory title):

It has come to our attention that the Government of Iansisle is in search of some method to guarantee the Iansisle national side move forward in World Cup XVIII competition.

The Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38 would be more than happy (insert chortle here) to be of assistance in this. We have at our disposal a tried and true method of...well...shall we say "dis-advantaging" our opponents in national football matches. For a pre-arranged fee, we could arrange to have this "method" at your disposal just prior to your next match.

The going rate: One large brown paper sack stuffed with unmarked bills, left at the stroke of midnight in the hollow of the old oak tree down in the south east corner of our lovely city park here in Sten.

Oh - and you supply your own chicken.

Regards,

Jack Cass
Minister
Super Secret Sleuthery
Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38

End of MESSAGE, Classified, One Each - It is customary at this point (sorry) for the recipient to eat such a message. We strongly recommend you chew it thoroughly before swallowing

Melmond

12-11-2004, 16:23

Makinshakes Presents...
The Ketchup Times
Now you can eat your fries and read the latest news around Melmond!

The Evil Umpire Spy Hacker Detained By Authorities
The hacker which has been terrorizing all of Melmond's journalistic wires has finally been tracked down and arrested in an a deceptively technologically advanced shack in the mountains just outside of Sardaburg. The hacker always went by the name "RL" and slowed up the Melmondian press with such programs dubbed "social life", "travel", and "cable upgrade." Those hacker programs prevented full scale reports of all of the qualifying matches for the Melmond National Team, thus leading to many reports in this format, The Ketchup Times. Spokesperson for the O'Connor Times, Some Randomdude, had this to say, "We are very relieved that although 8-Bit has been silent recently, that his silence is no longer enforced on us, we finally can report all the matches in vivid detail once again starting with the all-important match against Bedistan, but then again, that may be all we could do."

Fearless Farmers Foul Against Lovisa
There were very high expectations all around the nation of Melmond as the Fearless Farmers were in their second World Cup ever after an unprecdently strong debut, finishing in a glory spot; third place in their first ever World Cup. The sense of urgency seemed to be returning to the Melmond National Team according to the Melmond press and the Fearless Farmer Faithful. The first opponent Lovisa was a side many favored the Fearless Farmers to beat. However, Lovisa is a side not to be taken lightly as the last two times they were in the World Cup, they went to the Round of 16. The opening ceremonies in Eauz had an ere of mystique to it, but it really didn't impress us like the opening ceremonies in Kaze Progressa. Probably because the Eauzian ceremonies was a song and dance tribute to communism involving such things as ballerinas wearing Karl Marx beards and comical use of hammers and sickles. Also we probably weren't in awe this time around as this isn't our first time after many years of suffering. In the first half, it was apparent that the Fearless Farmers have regained their fire. Unfortunately, they left behind a key component, discipline. Lovisa had a very solid attack, and Melmond was in position to stop it. However, the Melmond defence was a bit too overzealous. Two Melmond defenders, Trav Strachan and Veronica Dean, got a yellow card each in the first half. The Melmond attack couldn't find its rhythm as their play seemed discordant. There were many errant passes and shots and the accurate ones made were too obvious and Lovisa was in the position to thwart the Melmondian attack. The first half ended with no score. The second half was mainly a midfield battle which wasn't that terribly exciting. In fact it was rather dull. However, one controversial yellow card was called in the midfield after a rather clean looking tackle by Melmond midfielder Peeko Noodleschlausen on Lovisa midfielder Grzegorz Siedlecki. It appeared that Siedlicki dived, but Noodleschlausen got the yellow card nonetheless. It seemed to be a momentum changer as the Melmond side seemed a little guarded from that point on. Unfortunately later in the second half Melmond defender Charles Unne was called for a foul inside the goalkeepers' box. Lovisa would be awarded a penalty kick and their striker Georg Lunz would take the honours. But Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm guess right, but unfortunately wasn't able to get a grip on the ball as the ball deflected out of bounds off his fingertips. Lovisa was awarded the corner and this where they would do their damage as Lovisa midfielder Jacek Szymanski was able to head in the corner past Xtfuinxm and give Lovisa the 1-nil lead which would last for the rest of the match. Melmond's lack of discpline and being overly aggressive basically costs them the first match and puts their backs at the wall as EL CID THE HERO, who made a shocking 2-nil upset against Bedistan, comes next for the Fearless Farmers.

Remans Reminds EL CID THE HERO Quien Es El Hombre
The scenario and atmosphere for the second World Cup group stage match in Eauz against EL CID THE HERO was rather interesting. In an unexpected twist in the first matches, both the overwhelming favorites, Bedistan and Melmond, lost to EL CID THE HERO and Lovisa respectively beat each side and lead the group. EL CID THE HERO came into the match with great confidence after their strong 2-nil showing against Bedistan expecting to take advantage of a defeated Melmond side. However, Melmond still had a strong sense of ableness within the side as they know that they can beat this EL CID THE HERO side, and beat them good. The cheers from the Eauzian peoples looking forward to a great game were directed more toward EL CID THE HERO and jeers were directed toward the hated Melmondian capitalizts. One Eauzian took it as far to throw a hunk of Roquefort cheese at a Melmondian player. Fortunately, he missed his mark and was escorted from the premises. Melmond was ready to gain the advantage in the series, with both teams winning two of the four matches in their lifetime series. However, things started rather rocky for the Fearless Farmers in the first half. EL CID THE HERO had a strong attack and the Melmond defence looked a bit unsure of itself. Fortunately, Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm was able to make the key saves when needed. When the Melmond defence finally got over their tenativeness, they decided to strike at the wrong moment. At the 17th minute, Melmond defender Trav Strachan was a bit too aggressive on challenging EL CID THE HERO midfielder Homer Dent. The whistle sounded and Strachan and the entire nation of Melmond feared that he would get carded and either get sent off or miss the next match with two yellow cards. Fortunately, it was just a foul, but a penalty kick was awarded in which EL CID THE HERO striker Barry Trotter was able to convert, giving EL CID THE HERO a 1-nil lead. However, as the first half waned, it was apperent that Melmond was slowly taking back the momentum. THE EL CID THE HERO defence looked tenative itself, and Melmond striker Tim Remans took great advantage of this, basically sprinting and dribbling past any would be defender and placing the ball in the net well away from the EL CID THE HERO goalkeeper. Melmond gets the equaliser at the 36th minute. At the end of the first half, the score was 1-1. The second half put the Fearless Farmers in the midst of another midfield battle, however this one was much more exciting than the one against Lovisa. EL CID THE HERO tried to be a little more physical, but they were clearly outmatched in the realm of physicality, which is the Fearless Farmers' forte. With the EL CID THE HERO midfield tiring first, Melmond midfielder Jake Cormier finds that striker Tim Remans is wide open. Remans outruns and outdribbles the EL CID THE HERO defence and easily puts the go ahead goal away past EL CID THE HERO keeper David Niemi as Melmond takes the 2-nil lead. This would be the final result as EL CID THE HERO was able to hold off other Melmondian attacks, but Melmond got their much needed victory. Every team in Group D has one win and one loss. The next match is against Bedistan, a very talented side which defeated Lovisa 5-3. This is a must win for the Fearless Farmers, because a tie is just not going to do it for the Fearless Farmers since Bedistan has scored more goals. The much anticipated first ever meeting between these two strong sides will take place in an Eauzian stadium unfortunately named Socialism. Let us hope that Melmond disappoints both host nations with a victory. Go Fearless Farmers!

Turori

12-11-2004, 20:59

Eels Go Insane, Win

Jurata Hills, Bedistan - The Turori Eels took a surprise victory off the hands of Total n Utter Insanity to give themselves a realistic chance of qualification for the first time to the World Cup Finals Round of 16.

============The Victory Continues the successful run of form of the Vilitan Home Nations against Total n Utter Insanity, with the Vilita National Teams touting a 2-2-0 record in their last four matchups.

============Eels head coach Mauritus Banda signalled that the victory was one of the biggest in Turori Sporting History, As it has come in the World Cup Finals, despite a pair of impressive results against Rejistania, Kingsford and Giant Zucchini.

============Banda stated that this victory really solidifies the Eels claim as a world power, and adds new clought to the Nations World Cup 19 Hosting bid. The Match ended 3-2 in Favor of Turori, who took an early 3-0 lead. However the powerful Insanacions fought back, making for an exciting final 10 minutes keeping Turori goalkeeper Milaou Slietah on his heels. However, The burgeoning former Vilitan Colony held on to collect all three points.

Starblaydia

12-11-2004, 23:12

An Even Record: Won, Drawn and Lost
Starblaydia smash Rainbows

Simeone Di Bradini's tenth goal of the campaign and substitute Giannis Berisha's eigth of his international career saw off Bekkside Neighbours Druida and their nauseating kits.

Some other things happened in the match, but I'm sure the Druidan press are much more inclined to tell you about them.

Final Score from Bordeux:
Starblaydia 2 - 1 Druidia
(S Di Bradini 14, Berisha 88) - (James 62)

The Eagles Nest

12-11-2004, 23:37

Convincing Win Propels Strike Birds to Round of 16

Despite Bribes and a 2-0 Defeat, Iansisle Goes Through With TEN

“We’ve entered into negotiations with the Eagles Nest,” said Director of Foreign Affairs Benjamin Rinehart. “We both take a dive, so to speak - a draw, and both of us move on. Everyone’s happy; well, except Starblaydia and Druidia. But no one cares what they think.”

The Strike Birds didn't take this news very well.

"They want us to do what? LET them into the Round of 16. No one let us anywhere, and we are as sure aren't going to let any team go to anywhere. Especially since anywhere is the next round, and anyteam should want to go anywhere and um... Yeah,...I just confused myself. But it's on!" said striker Siggy Secour when asked about this quote.

And thus the match began.

Secour scored a power shot at the 8th minute to take a 1-0 lead. He seemed to be very determined in this game, as if something had ticked him off. Now of course most people didn't know the question had been asked of him the day before the match, and well, we think that it was still grating on his mind.

the half ended with a 1-0 lead for the Nest and people started wondering what the score of the Starblaydia-Druida game was.....but no score reports could be found. As the second half started, the Nest came out in a modified formation, determiend to score another goal, and Horace cashed in at 56 minutes in to make it 2-0.

At this point the Iansisle faithful were getting worried, especially when the score flased 1-0 Starblaydia at halftime. One more goal, and Starblaydia and Iansisle would be tied. The Nest continued to press their attack but was unable to gain a 3rd goal and ended the match at 2-0.

Precious minutes waited, while the Nest celebrated their move on to the round of 16, the Iansisle team stayed glued to the scoreboard, hoping for an update, and a Druida goal.

It began to scroll.....

Starblaydia 2......

*a gasp from the crowd*

Druida 1

* a massive cheer from the Iansisle crowd as they realized they had squeaked in to the round of 16, playing the winner of Group D. The Nest will be playing second place in Group D, which rumor has that it is Bedistan. Official confirmation is pending.

Iansisle

12-11-2004, 23:58

To:
Benjamin Rinehart
Director of Foreign Affairs
Iansisle

Subject: Wanna Win, or What?

*snip*

End of MESSAGE, Classified, One Each - It is customary at this point (sorry) for the recipient to eat such a message. We strongly recommend you chew it thoroughly before swallowing

Dear Mr Cass,

I received your message a little late, it would seem; the Ians had already progressed to the next round with a distinct lack of help from you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to laugh in the face of the Starblaydian ambassador and declare the entire Eagles Nest staff be personae non gratae. Please never write here again.

B. Rinehard
Director of Foreign Affairs

PS: Your paper tastes awful!

--------

*Raspberry Noise*
This time the Ians sneak in by the skin of their teeth!

EAUZ -- Despite reports to the contrary from the obviously Strike Bird controlled media in the Eagles Nest, there were no more than seven Ians fans present during the match in Eauz.

"Well," said one, "most of my friends assumed the fix was on, so none of them bothered to come out. If'n they had, we may have had upwards of two dozen - a record!"

For those 'not in the know,' the extreme weakness of the Iansislean general and an incredible sense of apathy prevent more than a few Ians fans from bothering to leave the country to support their team. The current record in 19, set during the round of sixteen match against Oglethorpia in the Ians' first World Cup.

The match was a disaster, with the Ians losing 2-0. However, some saw it as an oppertunity.

"This is great!" crowed one Ians fan. "Just like the fellows to really stick it to Starblaydia like that! Hey, is that guy wearing Starblaydian colors? Come on, I'm going to go dump my beer on him! Haha!"

There is currently no idea about who is going to emerge out of Group D on top, but the Ians are ready for anyone.

"I'm so pumped!" exclaimed star striker Brian Lyon. "After that kind of victory, I feel ready for the world!"

"Twit, you know we lost, right?" asked fellow forward Tom Ravenhill.

"We're advancing, right?" retorted Lyon. "Ergo, we won! Free booze for everyone!"

EL CID THE HERO

13-11-2004, 01:05

EL CID NEWS.
NEWS YOU CAN USE.

sports news

4 MORE YEARS

Lovisa 4 (?,16,78,83,87)
EL CID THE HERO 2 (TROTTER,24 DENT,46)

And the dream is once again over for the nation of EL CID THE HERO. playing well for the most part but the lions just couldn't win when it counted. ECTH will now have to wate 4 more years to try again again

The lions campaign was dogged from the start by injury and retirement from several of the key players from the world cup 17 dreem team. This showed in the first two weeks of the WC in wich the lions lost out in a match with a unranked team and only just got through to the WC finals.

It could not hav started better with a 2-0 win over the Bedistan, world ranked 2 and co-host nation. However a 2-1 loss against Melmond, which some people are saying is becoming a small gruge match. with every team group D tied on 3 points each all was to play for. the fact was that the teams that won would go through. but sadly it was not to be El Cid The Hero moment of joy as a 2-4 loss against Lovisa was the final nail in the lion's
coffin.

"we did well throughout this WC" said Chris Skinner in an interview at the airport "This WC has proved that El Cid The Hero is a nation on the rise in the football world and maby in WC 20 we will do better."

And thats it for this world cup. Now it's time to get ready for the next one

Group D
Bedistan
Melmond
Lovisa
EL CID THE HERO

MD1 BED V CID W 0-2
MD2 MEL V CID L 2-1
MD3 LOV V CID L 4-2

Squornshelous

13-11-2004, 01:10

Total n Utter Victory

Squornshelous puts down the loudmouths to move on

The Pschychoes rose to one of their greatest victories in world cup history today by defeating the team from Total n Utter Insanity. Thhis game was one of the most anticipated games of this cup, and was preceded by a veritable war of words being shot back and forth. However, after the dust had cleared, Squornshelous proved to e the better team, shutting out the Insanicians.
The scoring didn't start until the second half, after both defenses began to wear down. Tito Castillan opened it up on a beautiful through ball from Rodolfo Puente. He recieved the ball at the corner of the box with no defender within 10 feet of him, but was kept onside by a man on the other side of the field, who was slow to move up with the trap. He dribbled in and popped the ball over the keeper's head for the score.
Raskolnikov made the second goal, making a breakaway from midfield in the 85th minute to seal the game for Squornshelous. He fired so hard the ball became a blur and nearly ripped the net open. After this, the Insanicians made a desperate attempt to counter, but a perfect play by Travis Delmore stopped their attack. He read the forward's eyes and stepped in front of a pass that would have found an open striker for an easy shot. He passed it forward to Otto Friedel and Squornshelous played out the game from there.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 2-0 Total n Utter Insanity

Scoring Summary:
SQ: Castillan [67]
SQ: Raskolnikov [85]

Squornshelous Scorers:
Raskolnikov: 17
Puente: 9
Castillan: 7
Arnesson: 3
Friedel: 1

Audioslavia

13-11-2004, 03:17

Commerce Noughts
Scoreless Bore sends Slavia Through

In hindsight 0-0 was a fair result for this fifth encounter between the two sides, but both teams will claim that they could have, or should have, won.

The play wasn't spectacular and the first half passed without incident, whilst the second half was bogged down by sloppy fouls and stupid bookings.

The best chances fell mainly to Commerce Heights, with the two strikers both getting chances to shoot but missing or getting closed down. Audioslavia had more shots on target, but the strike force of Dannes and McLlroy were confined to long-range shots by a strong CH defence.
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Audioslavia 3 2 1 0 4 2 2 7
2 Commerce Heights 3 1 1 1 3 3 0 4
3 Tadjikistan 2 1 0 1 4 4 0 3
4 Aquiliana 2 0 0 2 1 3 -2 0

The scoreline is probably the worse scoreline CH could want bar a defeat, as it means that their fate is now in the hands of Tadjikistan. If the tigers can get a draw against Aquilla they are through by virtue of goals scored. Only an Aquilliana win can save CH. The falcons themselves however, are now officially out of the tournament.

I B J J, G'N B

Svecia

13-11-2004, 03:58

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

LIGHTNING GROUNDED BY VILITA
Violent game ends with clean sheet in group for Vilita, Falköping ineligable for next match

Vilita 2 Svecia 0

- The Lightning were taken down in a bittersweet match against hated Vilita, who are now even more hated. A couple fights almost broke out in the Mont-Vilneau stadium and extra security had to be called in to defuse some of the situations.

Svecia seemed to play tentatively at the begining and never really got a good attack going. But by the second half, and trailing by two early second half goals, Svecia got frustrated. Thats when it all started.

After the quick start and two goals by Jürgen Ramzi in the 48th and 51st minutes, the game got rough. Players went flying with tough tackles, but yet the referee, Trevor Michaels of NEWI Cefn Druids refused to reach for his pocket.

It was a result of the lack of cards that got the ire of Svecia. A large shoulder charge on Mikael Solskjaer in the Vilita penalty box that left him gasping for breath didn´t even get a call. And defender Oskar Falköping decided it was his job to protect his teammates if the referee wasn´t going to. As the ball came down the right flank, Falköping rushed out to challenge Giacomo Adika and charged into him full speed and literally leveled Adika. And of course Adika got a free kick, but the most surprising thing was that Michaels reached for his pocket and gave Falköping a straight red.

The crowd erupted on both sides, anger in the Lightning crowd and derision from the Vilitans. Michaels found himself surrounded with 11 peeved players in orange arguing their case of why didn´t Vilitans get any cards for their rough play earlier. All efforts were waved off and play resumed but as the frustration mounted, the quality of play decreased, and Svecia managed to not make any decent chances on goal in the second half.

Despite the frustrating loss, the Lightning still qualify for the second round and are looking to take out their frustration now on some poor unsuspecting team. One possibility is Rejistania, a team the Lightning defeated in their World Cup group in the last World Cup, and a team that Svecians would love to get a chance to beat again.

Jeruselem

13-11-2004, 08:12

Jeruselem Government News

Jeruselem don't make history but get the respect

Jeruselem drew Turori 0-0 to stay last in the World Cup XVII group D game, but were not disgraced. With two draws and a loss, they could be not considered as pushovers the next time they get into this stage. This was Jeruselem's best ever world cup performance and the group D results were closer than expected with TnUI not dominating as expected losing to bitter rivals Squornshelous 2-0 in their last game.

Coach David Becks was disappointed "We could have won this game and given ourselves a chance. It will be four more years before we can do all this again. I'm proud of our boys and they are our best WC team ever.".

Turori 0 - 0 Jeruselem
TnUI 0 - 2 Squornshelous

Vilita

13-11-2004, 12:11

Vilita Overcome Svecia, Again

Despite reports from Svecia that the teams Group Stage matchup would be the first between the sides, Vilita came out 2-0 winners, a scoreline identical to that registered in the true first meeting between the sides, in World Cup 15 Qualifiers (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=6455283&postcount=182). The Aging Jürgen Ramzi solidified is claims to keep is Defensive Midfield role by scoring both goals for the Jungle Cats this time around. Vilita will advance atop the group with 9 goals for, 0 against and a perfect 3-0-0 record. Regionmates Crystilakere are knocked out despite their first victory over Artoonia. Vilita will face Dance 2 Revolution in a rematch of their World Cup 13 and 15 Qualifying matches. The Vilitan senior squad has never scored a single goal against Dance 2 Revolution.

Dance 2 Revolution

13-11-2004, 15:26

D2R Qualify for Round of 16

Hammering of Lemmitania, Appauling Display against Eskrador and hauntingly similar result against Rejistania see D2R through

Matchday 1

Dance 2 Revolution started their Group against Lemmitania, and started well, Maeda(18'), Maeda Jnr.(45') and Über(71')

Final Score:
Dance 2 Revolution 3(Maeda 18', Maeda Jnr. 45', Über 71')
Lemmitania 0

Matchday 2

Dance 2 Revolution followed their dumping of Lemmitania with an appauling display against Eskrador which almost cost them qualification. <9> managed to beat Verdio Day to a hopeful long ball and rolled it into an open net. There was no reply by D2R until the 2nd minute of added time in the 2nd half when a Maeda cross was caught by the wind and went over <1> into the net.

Final Score:
Eskrador 1(<9> 31')
Dance 2 Revolution 1(Maeda 90')

Matchday 3

We never thought that this match would come again so soon. Rejistania - Dance 2 Revolution, a highly anticipated Final rematch. This time arround the tactics were different and so were the names...especially in the Dance 2 Revolution side who only contained 3 names who were on the name-sheet for the WC17 Final, including the one who was on the bench for that match, Verdio Day.

Rejistania were the first to concede as Über showed sparkling footwork to work his way through the tightest of defence to make it 1-0.

Then it was D2R to fall to amazing skill by Harakemindanutikejil as he burned past the oldest defender Derinda and slot it into the bottom corner for 1-1.

Then Rejistania took the lead in the 2nd half in the 62nd minute, again with Harakemindanutikejil but a good threaded pass by Syku Lyku put Harakemindanutikejil past the offside trap this time and he placed it over the goalkeeper.

Then it was D2R to hit back from behind when Maeda hit a bullet from 25 yards cleanly into the top corner after 73 minutes for 2-2.

The score stayed level until the final minute of the stoppage time when Syku Lyku took a high ball down straight to the floor and hit the ball with curl, which beat Day and made the score 3-2.

Final Score:
Rejistania 3(Salakerijasamenatira Harakemindanutikejil 4', 62', Syku Lyku 90')
Dance 2 Revolution 2(Über 2', Naoki Maeda 73'(D2R'S 200TH INTERNATIONAL COMPETETIVE GOAL)

You know that score looks slightly similar to a similar fixture...

WC17: Eauz(Defending Champions) 3 - 2 Dance 2 Revolution(And guess where that took us)
WC18: Rejistania(Defending Champions) 3 - 2 Dance 2 Revolution

Next Match

According to our sources, Dance 2 Revolution will take on Vilita in the Round of 16 for a place in the Quarter Finals. here are the previous meetings between the two.

Vilita 0 - 0 Dance 2 Revolution
Dance 2 Revolution 1 - 0 Vilita
Dance 2 Revolution 2 - 0 Vilita
Vilita 0 - 1 Dance 2 Revolution
Won 3
Drawn 1
Goals For 4
Goals Against 0
Goals Differential +4

Will Dance 2 Revolution keep this record...will they make this cup their highest scoring cup ever(They need 3 to overtake WC17). Will they concede their 150th goal(They're 3 away from that too). All will be answered over the next few matches.

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