NationStates Jolt Archive

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Vilita 2-1 Kerla

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Vilita Goalscorers::
18' Jonathon Stott
27' Callum Banda


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Vilita Jungle Cats Report::The Vilita Jungle Cats National Team stepped out for it's first Senior International matchup since the dissapointing Eagle's Cup Quarter Final defeat to close allies Eystrck, in front of a packed 87,000+ at the Tivali Ring Stadium in Alikki-Corra, on the outskirts of the Tivali Jungle. There was a small section of support for the Kerla National Team, however the 30,000 tickets reserved for Kerlan's appeared to contain about 25,000 Vilitan Shirts amongst them. The Jungle Cats returned to action with a few changes from the Last Cup, and a few similarities. Goalkeeper Massimo Corsi has lost his position due to the fallout of the Giant Zucchini Premier League. Jimmy Kater's regular match action makes him one of, if not the youngest starting goalkeeper in the tournament at just 19, although he will turn 20 before the completion of the Final. Ever present central defender Enzo Ahat returns, but there is no place for Giacomo Adika, who fails to even find a place on the bench. The pride of Jlinal Cove, 23 year old Jaloey Afrikka and Yeaddin's own 23 year old Esemar Aliana found themselves on either side of the experienced Marine Coast legend.

------------------------------Jürgen Ramzi looks to be appearing in his last cup, however if his performances maintain the same level that they have been improving over the year, we could yet see an appearance from him in 18. In midfield, the only real surprise comes in the absense of Umberto Melli. It is believe that the Strike FC Midfielder is suffering from some sort of Virus and is day to day. The impressive performances of Tanner Nerni in the AOCAF and Under-21 tournaments have earned him a surprising starting role on the right wing, with Alexander Östling and Jonatho Stott commanding the center of midfield. On the left wing, Vilitan Legend, and now playing for Strike FC after the collapse of the Kingsford Pillar League, Santo Kecker retains the captaincy for the 5th straight World Cup. Another name missing from the lineup is that of Germán Salomón. The 27 year old forward had the opportunity to sign for a Vilitan Club after the collapse of the league in Kingsford, but after verbally agreeing to play for Turoki Isle, Salomón made a last-second move to Acosta Browns in Melmond. Despite finding himself on top of the goalscoring charts in Melmond, Salomón's move may have cost him his place in the side, not even finding a place on the bench for this opener. Ever-Present All-Time top Scorer Callum Banda would be joined by Strike FC's attacking menace Serge DuPont, beating out Hluali Mijatos and Cednia Beach's Rampant Goalscorer Carmine Mbidzo, who trained under Banda and Jim Vella at Marine Coast as a youth.

------------------------------The Jungle Cats kicked off to the delight of the home crowd, and the first ever Vilitan-Hosted World Cup was under way for the Home Side. They got off to a marvelous start, Serge DuPont quickly flicking the ball wide to an energetic Tanner Nerni, who appeared to look for goal on the opening play, but his enthusiasm so a wild effort that turned into an inch-perfect cross for Jonathon Stott. Unfortunately, the more-than experienced Yeaddin Owls hero could only find the side netting. From the ensuing goal kick, Kerla tried to catch Vilitan Goalkeeper Jimmy Kater off-guard, but the soon-to-be 20 year old was up to the task, calmly collecting the ball and dishing it out to his defender Jaloey Afrikka.

------------------------------Kater has been under some much-undeserved scrutiny lately after leaving the AOCAF squad at the quarter final after the group stage, where he had conceded just 5 goals in 8 games, leaving the fitness-lacking Rory Issah to feel the brunt of a 6-goal mocking that sent the Vilitan's out of the competition. However, Kater insisted that the Under-21 tournament was far more important, as he was the only recognized Vilitan Goalkeeper under the age of 21. When asked, he said he was not sure who would be in net for the Jungle Kitties next Under-21, as he will be ineligible, but he was confident in Issah's ability to find a suitable keeper between now and then.

------------------------------After a brief stoppage in play for a Kerlan player who appeared to have rolled his ankle, the match resumed on 16 minutes. Kerla did little to pressure the Vilitan defense, and Enzo Ahat stood tall to win the ball back, and start an attack the other way. With the atmosphere building on every further Jungle Cat touch, one could sense the opening goal to come soon. Tanner Nerni held the ball on the right, before Defender Jaloey Afrikka made the overlapping run towards the corner flag. Nerni's ball barely beat the offside trap, and Afrikka had acres of space in the corner to set up his cross. The cross came back out to the edge of the 18 yard box, and Kerla looked in position to win the ball. But it was a storming Jonathon Stott, who earlier had spurned a gifted opportunity, getting in front of the Kerla defense and connecting with a first time volley that cleared the mess of players inside the area and rifled into the roof of the net, sending the 87,000 into a deafening roar. The celebrations went on with many players approaching the seats, luckily Soundgardian referee Ben Mckellan let the team enjoy the moment with the fans and did not pull any un-deserved action on the Vilitan squad.

------------------------------Kerla had their first real chance of the afternoon from the kickoff, with some Jungle Cats still celebrating, one Kerlan was able to find space 25 yards out, forcing Jimmy Kater to stretch to his left, but eventually the Tivali City goalkeeper was able to settle the ball. However, Santo Kecker had slid in dangerously on the Kerlan after the shot had been taking, and was lucky to escape with a yellow-card and a conceded free kick. The free kick was taken but blasted well over the top of kater's cross bar, and play resumed with a goal kick. Kater blasted one of the longest goal kicks we've seen from the young Goalkeeper, and Serge DuPont got under it with his head to Flick-On to Callum Banda. Banda was in position side by side with his marker, but proved he still had the pace to out sprint the best of them before sending a left footed effort around the advancing goalkeeper and re-opening his record goalscoring account.

------------------------------Referee McKellan was forced to open his book once again, this time on a Kerlan player just 5 minutes later. After a two footed challenge on goalscorer Banda, the Kerlan Midfielder was quickly granted a yellow card, and a long talking to for his effort. Banda laid grounded and received treatment from the Vilitan Physio, before finally leaving the pitch, and being replaced by current hot-streak forward and former teammate, 19 year old Carmine Mbidzo, now of Cednia Beach. The 19 year old looked shakey to start, and conceded possession on at least 3 occasions before the break. Luckily the half time whistle came quickly and coach Helmut Vilkaus would have 15 minutes to settle his young forward.


------------------------------In a bit of a surprise substitution, Captain Santo Kecker was removed at half time in favor of Turoki Isle's 23 year old midfielder Marasent Sioane. Sioane received a large reception from the crowd in Alikki-Corra, as he is a native of the Vilitan Capital city and came up through the ranks at Alikki-Corra FC before his transfer to the former Kingsford Pillar League club of Barcoenfuego. Sioane joined Turoki Isle after the disintegration of the Kinsfordian League, although it is believed he still looks for a return to his former club after they have won promotion from the Declasse back into the Stellar division. Vilita did not look as strong on the ball in the second half as they did in the first, and conceded 3 corners to Kerla in the opening 15 minutes of the half. However, it was a free kick in the 69th minute that got the Jungle Cat support on the edge of their seat, the Kerlan Captain curling his effort around the 4 man Jungle Cat wall, out of Jimmy Katers reach and into the far corner of the net, cutting the Jungle Cat lead to 2-1. Shortly after, Vilita introduced Jonathon Baledrokadroka in an effort to win back the midfield.

------------------------------The Change did it's job, and Vilita kept most possession for the remaining 15 minutes, not allowing another Kerlan shot on goal, and holding on for the important victory to lead Group D with just two matches to play. The next match for Vilita will be again at the Tivali Ring Stadium where they will face Total n Utter Insanity in a re-match of their Eagles Cup group stage conflict where the Jungle Cats were able to come away with a win and a draw, and will be looking to extend their undefeated record against all Insane lineups, after being on the winning end of an Under-21 Second Round Matchup in the fifth Under-21 World Cup Championships. A Victory over Total n Utter Insanity would all-but ensure qualification for the Round of 16 before the Matchday 3 showdown with Lemmitania.




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Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Jimmy Kater, [D] Jaloey Afrikka, [D] Enzo Ahat, [D] Esemar Aliana, [DM] Jürgen Ramzi, [M] Santo Kecker, [M] Jonathon Stott, [M] Tanner Nerni, [M] Alexander Östling, [F] Serge DuPont, [F] Callum Banda
BENCH::
[F] Hluali Mijatos, [F] Carmine Mbidzo, [M] Marasent Sioane, [M] Jonathon Baledrokadroka, [U] Calaesa Mitaroka, [D] Danilo Liguori, [GK] Massimo Corsi

Vilita Substitutions::
(37) - Callum Banda >>> Carmine Mbidzo
(45) - Santo Kecker >>> Marasent Sioane
(76) - Enzo Ahat >>> Jonathon Baledrokadroka


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Matches & Venues:
M01: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [2] - [1] Kerla (Tivali Ring Stadium, Alikki Corra)
M02: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [] - [] Total n Utter Insanity (Tivali Ring Stadium, Alikki Corra)
M03: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [] - [] Lemmitania (Tivali Ring Stadium, Alikki Corra)

Starblaydia Eliminated already?
Strange Results on final Group Game could help

Though two defeats from three matches may look like instant auto-failure, a seemingly odd set of results could still see Starblaydia through, though this is rather unlikely. Let us explore the possibilites for a moment.

After Starblaydia's 1-0 defeat and the nine-goal thriller which saw Audioslavia win two-from-two, Starblaydia sit bottom of Group F, with the 'slaves up on 6 points, with Druids and Clansmen on three points. Consider results like this:

Possible (Hopeful) Group F Results, Matchday 3
Starblaydia 3 - 1 NEWI Cefn Druids
Audioslavia 2 - 0 The Lowland Clans

Starblaydia must beat NEWI Cefn Druids by two clear goals, first to tie on points and then to overcome the Druids 7 goals scored, compared to Starblaydia's 1. This would put Starblaydia above the Druids. Then, to put Starblaydia above The Lowland Clans, the 'slaves would merely have to beat them, by any ammount of goals. We are hoping for something like this:

How Starblaydia could Still Qualify
[1] Audioslavia 3 3 0 0 9 5 +4 9
[2] Starblaydia 2 1 0 2 4 4 0 3
3 NEWI Cefn Druids 2 1 0 2 8 10 -2 3
4 The Lowland Clans 2 1 0 2 3 5 -2 3

Should Starblaydia not win by two or more goals against the Druids (something they've not ever managed), or should Audioslavia fail to beat The Lowland Clans, Starblaydia will be dumped out of the competition like so much stinky Eauzian cheese.

As for the Starblaydia/The Lowland Clans match, young Niko Ijas scored in the second half for the Clansmen, adding to his previous goal in their last match. Though Starblaydia were not helped by the Strictness of referee Jaulti Barrnu at the lovely Read or Dead Arena, they could not claim to have deserved a victory, though a sharing of points would have been more fair, judging by the lack of quality in the play, as Starblaydia desperately tried to stay alive under the wavey rooves around the Arena's goalmouths.


Final Score:
Starblaydia 0 - 1 The Lowland Clans
(None) - (Ijas 62)

Group F Table, Matchday 1:
Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
---------------------------------------------------
[1] Audioslavia 2 2 0 0 7 5 +2 6
[2] NEWI Cefn Druids 2 1 0 1 7 7 0 3
3 The Lowland Clans 2 1 0 1 3 3 0 3
4 Starblaydia 2 0 0 2 1 3 -2 0

MD00: .::WC17 Group F Scehdule
GRP1: Audioslavia 2-1 Starblaydia
GRP2: Starblaydia 0-1 The Lowland Clans
GRP3: Starblaydia Vs NEWI Cefn Druids @ Gateway Arena, Taqizerr


Starblaydia's World Cup Finals Goalscoring Chart
Player Goals Total Goals
-------------------------------------
A. Ol-wairain 1 10

Audioslavia Druid The Hard Way
Fantastic comeback sees 'slaves get points from the match of the tournamentAudioslavia (5-4-1)
----------------------------------------------
| 1 |
| Fenwick |
| 2 4 20 6 |
| Pearce Romanov Johnstone O`Rourke |
| |
| 18 8 |
| Tessem Tanner |
| 7 11 |
| Johansen 14 Jaynes |
| Marriot |
| |
| 9 |
| Bracken |
----------------------------------------------
| 13 23 |
| G-Po Law |
| |
| 14 7 |
| Maddison 4 21 Posters |
| Rodgers Leicester |
| |
| 3 6 22 2 |
| Matthews Lambeale Hinton Nutting |
| |
| 1 |
| Bell |
---------------------------------------------
NEWI Cefn Druids (4-4-2)

The meeting of two teams, both in the top ten and with a record of having scored seven goals between them in their previous encounters... was never going to be dull was it?

And so it wasnt. Where Audioslavia's first match saw them grind out a result in pouring Progressan rain, their second match of the group saw the sun shining almost as bright as the performances of the twenty-two players on the field.

The match opened, as these matches do, with a goal. Maddison's eletric pace took him past 36-year old Ben Pearce on the left wing. The winger faked a cross and instead turned inside a backtracking Pearce beautifully. Maddison whipped a low ball in for Po who expertly skipped over the ball, thus dummying the two 'slavian centre backs and letting Trevor Law run onto it to bury the ball past Fenwick after just three minutes.

The goal came as a slap in the face to a 'slave side still unhappy and not being able to find their momentum. Audioslavia slowly took the game to the Druids and on the eighteenth minute equalised in spectacular fashion. Tanner launched a high crossfield ball to Marriot on the right. Marriot looked as if he was going to nod it down to Johansen but instead with a quick turn and a burst of pace, controlled the ball on his chest and flicked it over a suprised Joe Matthews. Marriot took the ball a few paces and let fly with the outside of his right foot from just off the corner of the eighteen yard box. The ball curled and dipped at lightening pace, clipped the back post and nestled in the corner of the net, becoming the greatest goal the seventeen-year old had ever scored.

From there the match was absoloutely thrilling end-to-end stuff. Po hit the bar at one end, Bracken had a shot saved at the other. Po saw a header tipped over by Fenwick, whilst Marriot went on a sparkling run only to be tackled brilliantly by Hinton. A brilliant game to watch, the match saw the spectators on the edge of their seats until finally they got to see a third goal.

Johansen carried the ball down the line for Audioslavia but saw his cross charged down by Matthews. The ball dropped to Rodgers and the Druids began a lethally quick counter-attack. Rodgers clipped the ball to Posters on the wing who, with a beautiful first touch, sliced the ball with the outside of his foot so it curled round the approaching Calem O`Rourke one way whilst Posters went the other way, meeting it on the other side behind O`Rourke. Posters didnt take the ball down the line, instead sprinting full pelt at Johnstone, trying to get the young Audioslavian centre back to cack himself. Johnstone was having none of it and as Posters approached and tried to go past, stuck out a sharp boot and knocked the ball away, sending Posters sprawling. The danger was not over however, as the ball quite simply rolled away for midfielder Mo Leicester to strike it full pelt from fully thirty yards. The ball seemed to arc upwards, evading Fenwick's futile reach and rocketting down off the bar and into the bottom corner.

If spectators expected the 'slavians to come back and equalise again, they were about to be suprised.

The goal preceeded a horrific onslaught on the Audioslavian goal as the Druids sought to stamp their authority on the game. Within two minutes they had made it three-one as Po got his head onto NEWI Cefn Druids' fourth corner kick in succession and hammered the ball downwards into the corner underneath a flailing Fenwick.

Within just one minute it was four-one as again Posters weaved his magic to set Law up with a shot. Fenwick beat the ball away with his right hand but only succeeded in sending it to Po, who outpaced Romanov to get to it and tapped the ball home.

The half-time whistle came as a saviour to Audioslavia who, despite playing well for the first forty minutes, found themselves floundering in shock as the Druids attacked them relentlessly.

Both sides came out for the second half having made a tactical switch. The Druids replaced goalscorer Mo Leicester with defender Roland McDonald to act as a defensive midfielder to protect the Druids lead, whilst the 'slaves threw on striker James Laver for right-back Calem O`Rourke and reverted to a 3-5-2 formation with three centrebacks as opposed to two centrebacks and two fullbacks.

For the first few minutes of the second period it looked like the 'slaves switch was going to backfire as the Druids' fierce counterattacks to advantage of Audioslavia's new deficiency at the back. Po almost got his hat-trick when Rodgers put him through on goal, but Fenwick came out to dive at the striker's feet and make a good save.

NEWI Cefn Druids' counterattacks were becoming more frequent and were turning into attacking spells themselves, but on the sixty-eighth minute they got over-cocky and Audioslavia countered themselves. Marriot recieved the ball on the halfway line and knocked the ball up field to the target man James Laver. Laver nodded the ball down to Bracken who, with a burst of pace, knocked the ball between the two centre-backs and raced in to strike low past Bell for four-two.

Any thoughts that Audioslavia had just scored a consolation goal were dispelled when, after attacking with relish for a few minutes, Bracken volleyed home a Johansen cross to cut NEWI's lead from three goals to one goal.

Realising the match was still all to play for, both managers went to play every card they had. Audioslavia brought on both their spare strikers, last week's hero William Ryder and the un-tested Deane O`Laughlin. In response, NEWI manager Simon Greaves took his striker Trevor Law off and replaced him with the experienced full back Trevor Jones.

Audioslavia peppered away at the NEWI Cefn Druids goal, searching for the chance which could see them nick a point. Time ticked away with few chances thanks to the Druids' vigourous midfield and their stone-wall defence. It would be eighty-seven minutes before Audioslavia got their first goalscoring opportunity. Laver took control of the ball on the edge of the area and, as he went to knock the ball to the right hand side was clipped by a recovering NEWI defender and went down. The referee gave a free-kick on the edge of the area. Marriot lined up to take the shot and struck the ball in much the same way as he struck his earlier goal, hitting the ball hard and having it curl and dip towards goal. Bell did brilliantly to get his fingertips to the shot but could only succeed in diverting the ball's path do the underside of the bar, with the ball falling a foot over the line.

Audioslavia 4, NEWI Cefn Druids 4, and the match wasnt over yet.

A noticeably flustered Trevor Kallins took off centre-back Amos Hinton and replaced him with teenage striker Rhys Owens in a last ditch effort to regain the lead. Audioslavia retreated back to their own half, and it looked like the final minutes would be dominated by a desperate Druid side. Po and Owens both had shots charged down whilst Maddison sliced an effort away to the right hand side. The Druids attacked throughout the four minutes of injury time but still the Audioslavia defence held their ground. It was apparent they were holding on for the counter attack as Bracken, Laver and Ryder all stayed up front. With ninety-three minutes and twenty-nine seconds on the clock and the referee about to blow for full time, they got one.

Johnstone smashed a clearance as far as he could up front. Druid defender Ron Lambeale went to head the ball back but mis-timed his jump and saw the ball ricochet straight upwards in the air. Bracken leapt to get the ball ahead of him, dropping the ball down for Ryder and Laver to take up field.

It was two-on-two with Laver and Ryder being marked by the two full-backs Nutting and Matthews. Ryder struck the ball down to Laver who looked like he was going to lose the race for it to Matthews. Luckily, Laver got a foot to it and trapped the ball as Matthews dived for it. Turning and sprinting away, Nutting had no choice but to sprint over to Laver and so try to play Ryder offside. Ryder dropped back however, and Laver's through-ball found him in acres of space with a desperately backtracking Trevor Jones ten yards behind. Ryder bore down on goal, faked a few times to get Bell to commit himself and, with the slowest, most languid, most infuriating lob ever, chipped the ball over the advancing keeper to see the ball drop under the bar and over the line.

Full-time came almost immediately and the Audioslavian bench invaded the pitch to the roar of the claret and green faithful, whilst the white and black colours of the NEWI crowd sat and stared in disbelief, coming round to politely clap the two sides and pay homage to probably the best world-cup match either set of supporters have ever seen (unless any Audioslavians were at the 5-4 quarter-final beating of Squornshelous twenty years ago).

FINAL SCORE
AUDIOSLAVIA 5-4 NEWI CEFN DRUIDS
Marriot 18 Law 3
Bracken 68 Leicester 38
Bracken 70 Po 42
Marriot 87 Po 45
Ryder 90+4

EL CID NEWS.
NEWS YOU CAN USE.

sports news

the long delay



El Cid the Hero 1 ( M HUNTER 88)
The Weegies 0

It was with a last min run by Mark Hunter that alowed the lions to make history as being the first El Cid team to make it to the world cup finals.
this result not only got Chris Skinner celebrating his teams victory, it also enabled Barry Trotter to win his bet.

With the game heading for extra time it looked like the lions would not be able to win the match. Both strikers looking as if their hard won goals in their previous games had taken it toll.

But out from the blue came Mark Hunter who after starting his first WC17 match with a hand ball that won the match for ECTH seemed to want to gain a rep for wining the big matches with a late run down the left flank taking the defence by suprise. even the keeper was late to react with the ball just flying past.

NET result 1-0 to ECTH.

Even Chris Skinner who is normally tame in his post match evaluation said "I knew we could do it and we did, playing well for the most part and this will be a great help for the lions in their rep back home. Anything more then this is a plus".

When the match was over a cry of "we are the champions" began to be sung from every ECTH suporter.

"we did it" said one football fan. "el cid is one of the best team's in the world!!!!!"

This hype was short lived however as when the group was anounced it consisted of Rejistania, one of the best teams in the world. Svecia, a team EL CID never beat in the opening rounds and One Red Dot, a very experienced team.

will El cid break the bookies odds and win against Rejistania?? keep reading to find out.

occ:could not rp till now will rp rest of games later.

SOZ:(

REVENGE IS SWEET: Progressans stay in group with first-ever home win in finals

Kaze Progressa secured sweet revenge for their defeat eight years ago to Commerce Heights with a deleriously received 2-1 win in the Progressair Stadium, the hero of the hour being 18-year-old Sani Luvo who scored both goals to truly assert his status as 'The New Irafma', and perhaps show signs of ousting even him as the country's greatest ever player.

It all looked like yet another agonising night when Gold Ounce chipped Fayu Fanzuhu, who unexpectedly replaced Mazidera Frikeren for this game after Frikeren was blamed for the second goal against Dennisov, from 35 yards after as many minutes after an end-to-end first half in which both Luvo and Cyprus Pound hit the woodwork. Kaze Progressa, of course, had never scored a meaningful World Cup finals goal in their home country in three previous attempts; add this half, and that drought spanned over five hours of football. But no more; in first-half injury time, Cavinski Cozii-Danila was fouled by Mark Lahnto just outside the box, and it was Luvo who curled the ball into the top corner beyond the helpless Rani to send the capacity 120,000 crowd into raptures.

With their confidence shaken, Commerce Heights were outplayed throughout the early part of the second half, but two great saves from Rani denied first Luvo from point-blank range and then Razio Cahztavaniko from the corner of the penalty box.

It all looked horrid again with eleven minutes left when a defensive lapse from Barij Gajzilin left Pound with the easiest of chances, but he somehow contrived to hit the underside of the bar, allowing 22-year-old Alan City defender Barraz Benapi to clear off the line. Just two minutes later, Benapi's long ball was flicked on by Cahztavaniko into the path of Luvo, who outrageously volleyed a shot off the inside of the far post from 25 yards to an astonished - and astonishingly noisy - welcome from the crowd.

But this being a Progressan match in the World Cup proper, the ending had to be bad. Sure enough, Gajzilin fouled Pound on the edge of the box in injury time, and in spite of the deafening appeals from the crowd Marco Bindschädler quite rightly gave the penalty. Thousands were already leaving. They didn't need to see the penalty scored by Simoleon.

That was because it wasn't scored. Fanzuhu punched the ball over the crossbar, and the resultant corner was headed away by Benapi. That was the last touch of the game. Delerium.

Except nobody cheered. They knew this was the greatest upset in a World Cup finals since Dennisov won World Cup Four. Melmond would destroy them 10-0.

Except that that paragraph was useless and wrong. Of course the nation was delerious, not just the fans in the stadium. Suddenly, the impossible dream was flickering again - to some, it was shining brightly. The notoriously pessimistic Progressans had found their new hope. Now that was more surprising than the result.

KAZE PROGRESSA [3-2-1-3-1]

Fanzuhu

Gajzilin Borapi Hariza


Quilaniz Hajizi

Horazki


Cahztavaniko Cozii-Danila Rapikok


Luvo

------------------------------------------------------

Pound
Simoleon


Yen G. Ounce P. Ounce Denatra



Euro Jordan

Lahnto Switzer


Rani

COMMERCE HEIGHTS [4-4-1-1]

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

ORANGE CRUSH-ERS!
Svecia come from behind to topple Rejistania giants

Rejistania 1 Svecia 2

FRIZKAO, Kaze Progressa - It was the game of the century for the Svecikans. No one in the stadium would have believed that the Lightning could pull off this win, but somehow they managed to do just that. With thousands of screaming Svecia fans clad in orange, and thousands more orange fans cheering for the other team, the stadium took a Halloweeny look to it.

It was ironic that Svecia, being the away team, had to wear their old yellow over blue uniforms, when all their fans had invested in orange attire after the switch for the 16th World Cup and wore it to the game against the orange and blue clad Orange and Blues of Rejistania.

Rejistania found early faults in the Svecian defense and exploited them to post 6 shots on goal in the first half alone. Only one found the back of the net thanks to Piet van Meer´s incredible reflexes.

Rejistania showed the Lightning why they are favored by some to take the trophy home with them. Ball possession in the Rejistani half of the field was nearly non-existant for the Svecikans in the first half. Even in the second half, Svecia managed barely 5 shots to Rejistania´s 9, although three fell on target, and the fateful two by Pawel Forsch and Tomas Kristiansand put Svecia on top for the win.

The Rejistani veteran, Lyku Ju, got the ball rolling for the Orange and Blues in the 11th minute as he drove home a loose ball from 8 yards out. Van Meer and defender Hans Larsson collided trying to clear a Rejistani corner kick and the ball fell to Ju in front of the open goal. This was actually the third shot on goal by Rejistania already in the 11th minute.

Svecia´s lone shot of the first half was a shanked ball by Hanan Belagt who found himself open on a cross in the 38th minute, but mishit the volley and watched in dispair as the ball flew well over the crossbar.

Going into the locker room at half time, the Lightning should have felt lucky that the score was only 1-0 to the Orange and Blues when it could have been much worse according to the statistics. "Coach [Matt de Fijts] focused his halftime speech on the good things we did in the half, and how if we could press upon those good things we did, we might be able to crawl back for a tie. Han [Belagt] noted the lack of effort in the backfield by [Rejistania] and said we should try some long balls down the field" explained Mikael Solskjaer in a post match interview.

The second half opened with a near goal for Rejistania as an early corner kick found the sub Syku Kansu for a free header, but his shot hit off the post and out of bounds.

The Lightning pressed forward and started to make a game out of possession time, but time doesn´t count for anything and the defense began to push forward looking for more shots as they realized this.

Svecia made the most of their opportunities but a goal was hard in coming until the 73rd minute when Pawel Forsch send the ball upfield to Solskjaer. Solskjaer sprinted forward but a bad touch allowed for the Rejistania defense to recover. Solskjaer found a sprinting Forsch, who had followed up on his ball, and Forsch´s run caught the opponants defense with their pants down. Forsch found himself one on one with the keeper, Ninu Juru, put the ball away for the equalizer, and sent the other half of the orange crowd into madness.

Although Rejistania pushed hard to take back the lead in the final 15 minutes, van Meer and the defense were able to turn away every attempt.

Svecia quickly brought the ball back upfield in the 84th minute on a counterattack after a failed Rejistani cross. Defender Tomas Kristiansand brought the ball forward before sending Hanan Belagt to the corner flag with a through ball. Belagt found himself trapped and attempted to send the ball across the goal mouth, but his cross was deflected to the top of the penalty area for a waiting Kristiansand. A few step-overs and a nutmeg later, Kristiansand found himself shooting into the side of the goal for what proved to be the winning goal.

Rejistania, now finding themselves in an unpredicted situation, attacked desperately looking to tie before the clock ran out, and nearly did in the first minute of stoppage time, but a last ditch tackle by Mikael Solskjaer, who had back-tracked all the way, saved a stranded van Meer and preserved the victory for the Lightning. The Tingitana referee, Faré Garaliga, was surrounded by angry Rejistani player imploring him for a penalty kick, but he waved off the pleas. Replays showed Solskjaer first knocking the ball away before colliding with the forward. Sveciakan fans were joined by curious onlookers and upset-friendly voetbal fans from other nations as they took to the streets and bars of Kaze Progressa after the final whistle left the Lightning with an excellent chance of moving to the second round.

The Kaze Progressa police, world reknowned for their efficiency and omnipresence, managed to keep the situation under control, although there were four arrests for public nudity and trespassing, after a group of people went skinny dipping in a private pool.

Svecia faces El Cid, who also was in Svecia´s qualifying group, for the final match.

The Bedistan Sports Digest

Still Winless in Two
Lions lose to Kingsford 1-0

---------------

BFA president Johnny Lewis put down the newspaper. He didn't need to read any more. The Bedistani national team was starting to remind him of the U21 squad in their first match against Jeruselem. Except that the seniors didn't show any plans of going on to win the World Cup. It was time to take action.

"Paula!"

"Yes, Mr Lewis?" Being from a British-speaking country originally, she didn't pronounce the period in the title.

"Tell Barton I'm sending him an ultimatum. It's either a win over Cockbill Street or his job. No exceptions. Got it?"

"Yes sir, I'll get right on it."

"Thanks. Something tells me if we don't make the knockout rounds, it's all gonna fall on my head, and I can't let that happen." He started muttering to himself. "Draw with Raptor Claw, loss to Kingsford, what's next, a two-goal loss to Commerce Heights?"

((I am not going to play with V's godmodding of kicking me out of the country. You CAN'T forfeit a team's match unless that team says they are doing so. So the "may not get back into the country" bit doesn't fly.))

TEN Doesn't Lose Against Spaam

Spaam/Crys Score on MD1 Could Determine TEN's Fate....But No One Knows It

Well, The nest played a team they had never beaten..or well tied before in Spaam, but Spaam is not the team they played that many years ago, but they were up to the task today as they eke'd out a tie score against the Strike Birds as both teams scored 1 goal in the first half, Secour gettng his at 37 minutes, Spaam scoring at 42. The second half was a game of attack/counterattack, with clean defense both ways. MatchDay 3's match against Crysalikere could mean everything, or could mean nothing depending on what happened in their match with Spaam, and their match today with Vilita.

If TEN can win that match, then their 4 points would be enough possibly on tiebreakers to get them through. If however Spaam won their first match, or if...well, there is too many possibilities without knowing the first match who will make it through as the second place team. With Turori holding the only known win in the group, Turori could possibly clinch a spot with a win over Crys today. However, if Crys won and they tied Spaam in the first match, then it's gonna be a free for all for those spots.



--------------------------------

Shadowry Figure: A tie? Spaam didn't even RP?

Lackey 1: *shrugs* randomness.

SF: Make sure the RP machine stays installed. We have to make the knockout rounds.

L1: Is that when the ....plan goes into full action?

SF: Yes, if we don't make it, then we might have to wait 4 years until the next cup.

L1: Sir, There is reports there won't be an Eagle's Cup this time around. Something about some field repairs going on.

SF: Yes I know. We're installing some.....equipment in the stadia.

L1: Sir, what's that about?

SF: You'll see when the next Eagle's Cup occurs.

L1: After WC18?

SF: Yep. Now, see if you can't find out who won those other matches in teh group. We need to know how much in trouble we are.

L1: Yes sir.

Pschychoes "Very Satisfied" with Draw
Another even game leaves Squornshelous in a good position

In the clash of the two tp ranked teams of Group A, Neither came away a clear victor, with the game ending 1-1. Squornshelous came out swinging, knowing they needed a good performance here to challenge Liverpool England. The first goal came early on, in the 18th minute. Raskolnikov broke loose on one of his characteristic breakaways after Thorain mishandled a pass at midfield, after his initial shot bounced off the crossbar, he easily sent in the rebound.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 1-1 Eauz

Scoring Summary:
SQ: Raskolnikov [18]
EA: (player) [time]
(remaining goal will be left up to Eauz to RP)


Now all that remains is to defeat Dance 2 Revolution next game and have either Eauz defeat Liverpool England, or the other way around. As long as the Pschychoes win, and someone else wins too, we're in.


Group A
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Eauz 4 1 1 0 4:3 1
2. Liverpool England* 1 0 1 0 0:0 0
3. Squornshelous 2 0 2 0 1:1 0
4. Dance 2 Revolution 0 0 0 1 2:3 -1

Liverpool England is expected to defeat Dance 2 Revolution, whihc would put them in second place.

((I am not going to play with V's godmodding of kicking me out of the country. You CAN'T forfeit a team's match unless that team says they are doing so. So the "may not get back into the country" bit doesn't fly.))



I would think it would be quite clear that they were "let back into the country" when you got your matchday 2 score... (That doesn't mean they got their hotel room back, though)

Rabbit Proof Defence
Bunnies Have No Chance Against Fearless Farmers Defence
By Henry Kalangalangalang of the Melmond City Herald

QUARUA, KAZE PROGRESSA—The festivities at Irafma Lakeside Arena weren’t quite as grand as they were in the last match against Commerce Heights that kicked off World Cup 18, no pun intended. Sure, the festivities were dazzling compared to the lack of any during your usual qualifying matchups, but possibly after seeing the spectacle before the match against Commerce Heights, it doesn’t seem as impressive anymore. I mean you had your both national anthems being sung and all your traditional sportsmanship type pageantry, but it didn’t seem as poetic as the green filled night in Gauralan.
The opponent was Dennisov, the team best known for surprising the whole world by coming out of nowhere to win World Cup 4. They have been just an above-average team since and have finally returned to the World Cup after missing the last two. The Melmond National Team has had minimal history between the Dennsiovians as the teams have never played each other. However, the previous manager for the Melmond National Team as we all know was a star player for past Dennisov sides. That person is Gerry Cheevers of course, great goaltender, but not a great manager as this side and its fans could attest to. If the World Cup wasn’t enough of an inspiration to win this match, getting revenge on a nation for producing such a mediocre manager is. Okay, so we are having a hard time coming up with extra drama for the event.
The sold out crowd of 106,792 in Irafma Lakeside Arena was heavily partisan in favor of the Fearless Farmers. Sure, some Dennisov supporters made the trip, but they were far outnumbered by the Fearless Farmer faithful. However, the factors that really tip the crowd support in Melmond’s favor are the native Kaze Progressans. They were very upset about losing to this Dennisov side, and would like nothing better than to see Melmond prove that Dennisov’s performance in that match was a fluke. Some predicted that Melmond would beat Dennisov 10-nil in their delirium for revenge. Anyway, the fans kept a close eye on the score from Kaza between Kaze Progressa and Commerce Heights.
The entire first half was a defensive showcase for both sides. Dennisov is a side not known for its attacking power, they are a side which likes to lull you to sleep with their solid defensive play and make good counterattacks to score. However, with this physical Melmond defence, very little was going to get by these sides. Whenever Dennisov would try to make one of their counterattacks, the Dennisov midfielder or striker who would get the ball were just smothered by the Melmond defence, whether getting in position to make the interception or make the tough tackle, stopped Dennisov from advancing. Even when the Bunnies’ speed enable them to get past the Melmond defence, Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm made whatever kind of save needed for the occasion, and making it look rather easy.
However, despite the headline acclaim, the Dennisov defence played rather well…in the first half anyway. Their quick defence sniffed out most scoring plays for Melmond. Their defence is far more finesse in comparison to the meat-grinder like defence for Melmond. There seemed to be some frustration on the faces of the Fearless Farmers as well as their supporters as Dennisov just assertively made the interceptions and the tackles when it appeared that Melmond was going to finally get their goal. The defensive struggle ends in the first half as the match is still scoreless.
However, it became a war of attrition in the second half. Dennisov played their game, but it was very apparent that the entire midfield and strike force for Dennisov was really getting worn out by the omnipresent force of the Melmond defence. The physical play was really beginning to tire them. This meant that the Melmond defence gave the attack many more opportunities in the second half. The entire second half seemed to be played on only one half of the pitch as Melmond seemed to be always on the offensive and Dennisov on the defensive. Dennisov made some substitutions, one fresh striker and midfielder, but the stellar Melmond defence made these moves inconsequential. The Dennisov defence was getting worn out from being on their toes the whole time and the team only had one substitution left. They add a fresh defender, but Melmond makes a key substitution as they take out defender Trav Strachan, who thus far has been rather lucky that Jeruselem referee David Solomon didn’t call a yellow card which would have made him miss the next match. Seeing that the Dennisov defence was becoming vulnerable, Manager David Bixler put in another midfielder, and decided on Jake Cormier.
Finally at the 73rd minute, the Dennisov defence cracked under the pressure of the stronger Melmond attack. Newly put in the match, midfielder Jake Cormier lets of a solid shot that looks like is going to go wide, but Melmond striker Ojfssnsj Xrnym has the presence of mind to use her head and tip Cormier’s errant shot into the net past surprised Dennisov goalkeeper Drew Zubke. The overwhelming majority of the crowd erupts in joy as Melmond takes the 1-nil lead. That eruption of joy could have also been caused by the announcement that Kaze Progressa has scored the equaliser against Commerce Heights.
However, whomever those cheers may be for, the Fearless Farmers absorbed the momentum. Only seven minutes later, Melmond midfielder Cristina Antunez was being rushed by two fatigued Dennisov defenders, who made the critical mistake of leaving star player Critandi Unne wide open. She made them pay as Antunez makes the quick pass to Critandi Unne who in turn just whacks it right past the diving Dennisov goalkeeper. Melmond goes up 2-nil at the 80th minute and Dennisov looks physically and emotional fatigued from the great managerial planning and play of the Fearless Farmers and the overwhelming fan support for Melmond.
At the 83rd minute, a roar louder than any heard in this match was made as the news of Kaze Progressa taking the 2-1 lead against Commerce Heights was announced over the PA. After the final whistle, it was a communal celebration for Melmondians and Kaze Progressans alike as both teams have won their key matches. However, these people who are celebrating this day together will be adversaries in the final match of group play as Melmond and Kaze Progressa face of against each other.

Goals
Xrnym, MEL 73rd
Cr. Unne, MEL 80th

Cards
None

Standings

Other Group H Result
Kaze Progressa 2 – Commerce Heights 1

Group H
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Melmond 4 1 1 0 3:1 2
2. Dennisov 3 1 0 1 2:2 0
3. Kaze Progressa 3 1 0 1 2:3 -1
4. Commerce Heights 1 0 1 1 2:3 -1

Team Stats
Goals: Tim Remans (1), Ojfssnsj Xrnym (1), Critandi Unne (1)
Cards: Trav Strachan (1)

Melmond World Cup Schedule (all in Kaze Progressa)

v Commerce Heights (Westside Stadium, Gauralan) T 1-1
v Dennisov (Irafma Lakeside Arena, Quarua) W 2-0
@ Kaze Progressa (Progressair Stadium, Kaza)

Next Match
@ Kaze Progressa (Progressair Stadium, Kaza)

It really doesn’t get more pressure packed that this. Well actually it does, the knockout rounds are more pressure packed. However, the pressure of the last game of group stage is nerve racking in a different way. With knockout play, the team controls its destiny, but with group play, you have to look over your shoulder to see what the other scores are. Melmond has a tough challenge in a game Kaze Progressa side who certainly do not want to disappoint their fellow countrypeople. A win for Melmond, Dennisov, or Kaze Progressa, and they are in. A tie for Melmond would also put them in the knockout rounds. Commerce Heights needs to win or else. However, even if they do win, they will need some goal differential help. Here is Manager David Bixler’s starting lineup for the most pivotal match in Melmond National Team history. Let’s hope there is something more pivotal ahead!

GK- Snhp Xtfuinxm
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Charles Unne
D- Trav Strachan
M- Fwynj Otsjx
M- Alfred Smith
M- Critandi Unne
M- Cristina Antunez
F- Ojfssnsj Xrnym
F- Tim Remans

Tickets for all the World Cup matches are hopelessly sold out, but for those who want to travel to Kaze Progressa anyway, call Therewegoes Travel Agency at 3-18-357-9009. Kaze Progressa is a sport lover’s paradise as there are many sports familiar and unfamiliar that one can check out. However, the nation is very windy as well as cheesy, so be ready for that.

Shock: Dance 2 Revolution hold Philosophers to second goalless draw; Result Puts Squornshelous in Second

TABLE MATCHDAY TWO
Group A
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Eauz 4 1 1 0 4:3 1
2. Squornshelous 2 0 2 0 1:1 0
3. Liverpool England 2 0 2 0 0:0 0
4. Dance 2 Revolution 1 0 1 1 2:3 -1

Scenarios: All the teams can still qualify, or be eliminated. Eauz can qualify with a single point against Liverpool England, a loss coupled with a Squornshelan victory would see them eliminated. Liverpool England will qualify with a win regardless of the outcome of the other match, a draw and they would need Dance 2 Revolution to beat Squornshelous or to have a higher-scoring game than Squornshelous if Squornshelous draw. Squornshelous will qualify with a win, a high-scoring draw should effectively put them through. Anything else and they need Eauz to do them some favours. Dance 2 Revolution are all but eliminated, however if they can pull off a win over Squornshelous, and should Liverpool England fail to win their match, they will qualify. Anything less then a win will see them eliminated.

The Daily Druid

HINTON MADE DEFENSIVE COACH
DRUIDS HAVE NO CHANCE WITHOUT ONE
Björn-Trevor Frederiksson on a crisis at the back for the Druids.

After seeing his team capitulate against Audioslavia, losing after being 4-1 up, the Guy In Charge of Druidish Football, head of the FANCD, has appointed a defensive coach to help Simon Greaves with managing his team. Greaves was joint manager with Trevor Kallins until Kallins resigned after the qualifiers to take the managers position of the Druida national team.

Since former Druids full-back Kallins made the move, the Druids have lost only once, in spectacular fashion against the 'slaves. But their defensive performances of late have left a lot to be desired for. In their last three competitive internationals, they have conceded 10, not a record to be particularly proud of.

So in comes the Druids most experienced and probably best ever centre-back Amos Hinton to take a role as defensive coach. Hopefully, the Druids will carry on scoring at free will, as any side with Greaves at the helm would, but they will be able to overcome their defensive problems. It also signals the end of the Hinton/Lambealle central defensive partnership that has been the rock of the Druids team for almost 15 years, as Hinton is expected to finish the World Cup spending more time on the bench than on the pitch.

Changes in the Druids line-up are expected to be made for the Starblaydia game, too, to try to prevent the defensive display they gave in the AOCAF final, where the Blaydes put three past the Druids. Ron Lambealle, long time central defensive partner of Hinton, has been performing poorly of late. With his main partner stepping down, the McDonald brothers, Trevor and Roland, look likely to step into their places. As the experience is taken away from the defence, those in the know think that some more experienced players will also come into the starting line-up. Keeper Lee Bell and left back Clinton Nutting also look likely to lose their places to the more experienced Trevor Rhys-Jones and trevor Griffiths respectively. Only Joseph Matthews, the young Kirkanden right-back, looks lokely to keep his place in the defence.

One final change is that the Druids need a new captain. Fortunately, in Maurice Leicester, they have one ready made. Leicester has inspired many a Druids performance by simply being solid as a rock every time he pulls on the black and white shirt, and if he can't inspire the team, then no-one can.

So will this be crisis over? Well, something needed doing, and these look like good steps to take, but will Hinton be as good a coach as he was player? Will he be able to make the team as solid as Kallins had it? Only time, and the game against local rivals Starblaydia, will tell us.

Nervous Druids make wholesale Defensive Changes
A Top-Ten Team? Worried? By Us? With our Reputation? Are they quite mad?

Well, no, to put it mildly. With leaked Documents from the soon-to-be-published KPB Rankings finding their way into the hands of this reporter, we can reveal that Starblaydia will soon be ranked in the low-to-mid-20s in the world, which is an excellent performance. Starblaydia will soon be playing their 28th full international match with Guylain N'Dumbu-Nsungu at the helm. In that time they have won sixteen games, lost seven and drawn just four, which shows you just how far Starblaydia have come.

Not only did the NEWI Cefn Druids concede three goals to Starblaydia in the AOCAF3 final, they conceded three goal to the Starblaydi 'Second' Team. The old men and young boys who couldnt make it into the full World Cup squad. The Druids, however, have used the same squad for both tournaments and the defensive weariness is beginning to show.

A total of Seven goals against in the two matches against Audioslavia and The Lowland Clans, plus three against Starblaydia in the AOCAF3 Final. With a vastly superior team to the AOCAF, Starblaydia will be hoping to concede less and score more than in Pedriana. Remember, Starblaydia must win by two or more clear goals if they want any chance of qualification. Only then can we look to the Audioslavia match to see if they overcome The Lowland Clans.

As the Druids have won the Kit choice for tomorrow night's game, Starblaydia will be wearing their Purple with White trim Away kit, while the Druids will line up in their traditional White-and-black. We will be seeing Simeone Di Bradini and Eomer Hall given their head, to let them run riot over the all-new Druids defence. Much of Starblaydia' innate caution will be thrown to the wind in the Bekkside Derby that the must win by a distance if they are to keep the Starblaydi Bandwagon rolling on and into the second round of sixteen teams.

Qualification? You're Havin' A Laugh!

http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/WC17_Shirt.gif
NEWI Cefn Druids Kit <link> (http://www.savepic.com/freepicturehosting/is.php?i=251906&img=kits2.gif)


And now for something completely different. Its...
The Big Interview
'Scoop' Ragnarsson talks to Ahmed Ol-wairain

http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/ol-wairain.jpg

Scoop Rangarsson: Ahmed, how does it feel to score in the World Cup Finals, as you're the only Starblaydi we can ask that question to at the moment?

Ahmed-Ol-wairain: It was truly wonderful, one of the greatest moments of my life. Everybody talks about "Laser's" eleven goals in World Cup 15, but that was only the qualifiers, this is the World Cup, nothing else really matters.

SR: So you're Starblaydia's Top Striker in the World Cup?

AO: Of course

SR: How has your time in Starblaydia been since you were released from Eastal Lunar?

AO: Well my family moved to Vilita when i was quite young, but we still kept our Starblaydi heritage. After Eastal Lunar released me i decided that the Starblaydi Leagues were the best choice.

SR: A Top-Scoring AOCAF-2 performance and a Tiberius Cup with the Vics later, and you're in the World Cup.

AO: Exactly, that's the beginnings of everyone's dream in football. I don't think I'll be around for the next one, hell, I'm twenty-nine now, and Starblaydia has a lot of good young strikers.

SR: Perhaps one more shot at the AOCAF Title when you're thirty-three?

AO: Perhaps, I might even be in the World Cup team, you never know, but I hope to get another shot at winning either the Regional or World Cup with Starblaydia.

SR: I hope so too. Ahmed Ol-wairain, thankyou.

The Countdown to MD3...

P W D L F A GD Pts
Audioslavia 2 2 0 0 7 5 +2 6
NEWI Cefn Druids 2 1 0 1 7 7 +0 3
The Lowland Clans 2 1 0 1 3 3 +0 3
Starblaydia 2 0 0 2 1 3 -2 0

Audioslavia need a win or a draw. If they fail to do either, a one-nil loss will still see them through. Failing that, A NEWI Cefn Druids defeat or draw against Starblaydia will see Audioslavia through.

NEWI Cefn Druids need to win by an equal or bigger margin than TLC to go through, unless they win by one and TLC beat Audioslavia by two goals in which case NEWI and TLC will go through. Either way, they need to equal or better The Lowland Clan's result to progress.

The Lowland Clans need to win by a bigger margin than NEWI Cefn Druids to progress, unless than win by two goals in which case they would move above Audioslavia and would be assured of a place in the second round. Should they draw, they would need NEWI to lose, and should they lose, they would need NEWI to lose by more, unless they are defeated by two or more goals which would see Starblaydia move ahead of them.

Starblaydia need Audioslavia to beat The Lowland Clans at all costs, and to gain a big enough win against NEWI Cefn Druids to surpass them on goal difference. Should Audioslavia win 1-0, only a 3-0 win would suffice to pass NEWI and TLC on goal difference. If Audioslavia win 2-0, only a 2-0 win would suffice. A one-goal win would still see Starblaydia go out on goals scored.

The Daily Druid

HINTON DEFENDS CHANGES
"THEY'D'VE HAPPENED ANYWAY"
Björn-Trevor Frederiksson reports.

New Druids defensive coach defended Druids defensive changes planned for their game with Starblaydia, saying that he would have "done them anyway" and that they were for the good of the team.

"It was obvious that myself and Ron [Lambealle] couldn't go on forever, so we had to stop at some point. We just felt it best between us that when one stops being first choice, so will the other, because we want the next defensive partnership to develop."

"If you're going to make such changes, then you have to have some experience to make up for it. The other three of the defensive five are all quite young and inexperienced, so the only option we have is to bring in Rhys-Jones and Griffiths. Rhys-Jones has been unlucky over the years to have been stuck behind Reg Garth in the pecking order, and while the rest of the team was experienced, it was OK for Lee Bell to play. But we feel that it is better for the team that Rhys-Jones plays. As for Griffiths' inclusion, only Trevor Kallins has ever kept him out of the side before, so his experience will be priceless."

Now, most of you won't believe that, and to be honest, neither do I. There's a series of points about what Hinton has said that really don't make either sense or good reading for Druids fans.

1) If you want a partnership to develop, surely it would be better to do it in games like N00bania at The Hole than Starblaydia in a crunch World Cup finals match.

2) The new central defensive pairing are brothers, who've known each other all their lives. They've played together in every level of football since they were in playschool. If they haven't developed as a defensive partnership by now, then they never will.

3) Surely if you're good enough, it shouldn't matter how much experience you have? Clinton Nutting had performed very well until the Audioslavia match, while Lee Bell has been left open repetitively by the ever slowing Hinton and Lambealle. The change would do them both the world of good.

In fact, so many of the goals conceded by the Druids in recent times have been down to Lambealle's poor play, the latest of which being his positioning for the 'slaves winner last time out, it's a wonder they guy's still being picked. But while the central defensive changes are necessary, the other defensive changes reek of fear. There is no logical reason for changing things other than that the management are so scared of the same players producing the same performance, a fear that is totally unjustified. Whether or not the excessive changes prove the Druids downfall, we don't know yet. Tune in to DruidSport tomorrow night, where there'll be the Bekk Derby game live. Oh, and I'll be co-commentating, so there's another reason to tune in.

Sirake Tekim: Hejida listeners, you are listening to RejisCAST, the only english speaking radio station in entire Rejistania. Elin Ri is again for us in Kaze Progressa to report about the latest match of the Orange-Blues. Hejida Elin!

Elin Ri: Hejida Sirake!

ST: How is things in Kaze Progressa?

ER: Veka! Well, if you ignore the mourning of the progressans.

ST: They lost?

ER: No, they won 10:0. Of course, they lost!

ST: Ouch, Progressans are pretty fanatic about sports. So to them it would be... like for us.

ER: Yes, Kaze Progressa is the 'Sports-Mad Community' so they ARE fanatic. We do not refer to sports in our national title.

ST: Okay, I guess I can get and impression of the situation.

ER: Like in Jinhes Lines when they again only finished second.

ST: Hey, I am Jinhes Lines fan!

ER: I know, otherwise I wouldn't have said that.

ST: You are so much off-topic!

ER: You are so much starting the broadcast too early. I have to fill the time!

ST: I am starting the broadcast earlier because you always start discussions which have nothing to do with the topic.

ER: Yeah, I am starting off-topic discussions and Ravea is winning the world cup.

ST: That can still happen.

ER: How?

ST: All other nations cease.

ER: Very likely, that is.

ST: Not really, but that was not asked for. However: Tell me who plays for the Orange-Blues.

ER: Ninu Juru is in goal, the defenders are Kadu Hsen, Sasi, Dini Y and Xenra Ji. In the midfield: Siki Venji, Siki Suny, err, Hiki Suny, Nxeni Venu and alien Tuade Lue.

ST: Sorry to interfere, but why alien?

ER: Well, he is Rejistani citizen but I know few Rejistanis being and having been as seldom in the Rejis as he.

ST: So he works in Starblaydia, is that a reason to mock him?

ER: He did not only work there but grew up there.

ST: Su?

ER: Yeah, his parents are businessmen, so he was everywhere in the NS world, well, everywhere but in Rejistania. He is the only player in the national team without H1SR experience.

ST: Some things are even new to me! I know that he plays for the Daii in Starblaydia, but I always thought he was in the H1SR or H2SR before.

ER: Nil, he wasn't. Anyways: SyMji and Lyku Ju are the attackers. For Svecia plays van Meer'he in goal; Larsson'he, Glock'he, Frisk'he and ... err... Kristiansand'he in the defense. Difficult name, that is. The midfield consists of Svensson'he, Forsch'he and Kliever'he, the attackers of this System Jetta are Solskjaer'he, Belagt'he and Simão'he.

ST: Can we assume the technology to work this time?

ER: Of course we can!

ST: Really?

ER: Yeah, see, you mentioned the connection and it works still (connection breaks down)

ST: Oh, mention it...

(105 minutes later)
ST: Elin Ri still has not mentioned to make the connection work again. But at least I have the result: Svecia defeated Rejistania 2-1.

*we find ourselves sitting on the ground at the edge of a picnic blanket. we are next to a football pitch that has been roughly outlined on a rather bumpy surface with a variety of white powdery substances. there are a couple of plane wooden benches on either side of the pitch, a set of goal posts at either end, attached to which are the tatters of netting - and that seems to be all there is to this "stadium". a familiar figure, dressed in burgundy robes and a midnight blue hooded cape, stands nearby. she is eating what appears to be a...a...chicken leg? some of our other friends are gathered around as well. eileen dover is munching a crisp apple and contemplating the sports pages of scuttlebut - the international edition. next to her ben dover is contemplating the bottom of an empty bottle of "38 special". the minister of athletics, olympics, and alcoholic beverages is attempting to untangle his sweater from the picnic basket handle. he isn't making much progress.*

- Say, would you look at this?
- Look at what, Eileen?
- Here in the paper.

pause...

- Okay, Eileen - WHAT in the paper?
- Oh...um, sorry, Margaret. I haven't been...um...
- Haven't been what?
- What?
- What haven't you been?
- Ben who?
- What?
- Not you, Ben?
- Then who?
- "Been"
- What?

pause...

- ...Eileen...?
- Yes, Margaret?
- What haven't you been lately?
- Oh...able to concentrate well.
- And...?
- And what?
- What were you talking about?
- This article in the paper.
- What about it?
- Well, it seems we are in pretty good company.
- Except for the Minister, we've always been in pretty good company.
- Rude...no cause for it...no provocation whatever. Just mindin' my own business, and out pop the insults. Nuthin' but rude, I tell ya.
- Sorry - force of habit.
- Well, then.
- So, Eileen - good company?
- See, they've got a list here of the sides that got themselves eliminated, and didn't make it to WC17.
- We're trying to forget that.
- Yeah, sure. That's why we're picnicking next to the new "Snub Nose 38 National Stadium".
- Ben...I...er...well, you've got me there.
- Not much of a stadium, either.
- Better than the burned down, plowed under, salted earth that's left where "38 Special" Stadium used to stand, Bev.
- I miss my office.
- You're in your office.
- Don't remind me.

pause...

- What were we...?
- The paper.
- The paper what?
- The paper what's on about "good company"?
- Oh...that's right. Look, they've listed the sides that are out.
- Who are they?
- Let's see...Tanah Burung

collective cheer...

- Misery does love company, eh?
- So it seems, Margaret, so it seems.
- Who else is on the list, Eileen?
- Um...Halfassedstates, The Weegies, Oglethorpia, The Belmore Family, Giant Zucchini, Gesamtkunstwerk...
- That sound more like a list of who made the finals than who didn't qualify.
- If we were to use Oglethorpian Time Travel Technology, and go back a few Cups, it would be.
- Who else?
- Lessee...um...Dead Man, Avenging Altos, Pure Evil, NASTIC 2, The Evil Umpire...
- Wait a mo. Oglethorpian Time Travel Technology...Hmmm...
- Forget it.
- Why? We could...
- No, we couldn't.
- Why not?
- Funding.
- What about funding?
- Got none.
- So?
- Oglethorpian Time Travel Technology may be a lot of things, but "free" isn't one of 'em.
- But...we could go back in time...get money...come back...pay up...
- See, that would be a paradox.
- Two doctors?

very long pause...

- No, twit. A paradox. If one can travel in time, why can't one get the money, bring it back, and pay up.
- Well, why can't one?
- Because nature abhors a vacuum. Or some such nonesense. Suffice it to say when one tries to bring money into the future from the past, it just sort of finds things to spend itself on along the way - things that are either used up, out moded, or valueless when one reaches the future...er...present...
- That's ridiculous...
- Look, I try to make this stuff as palatable and believable as possible, but sometimes I paint myself into a corner and then I have to come up with something like this. Just pretend it makes sense, okay?
- Er...
- Good.
- But...
- Not a single "BUT". There were no buts, there will be no buts, there are no buts now.
- Sounds vaguely familiar.
- GACK! Jack, you must stop doing that!
- Sorry. It never happened. It will never happen. It isn't happening now.
- That must be the tenth time we've used that line.

*and on that bit of other totally useless information, we slip quietly back into our coma...*

Oh, much more than the tenth time, dearest Snub. ;)

*exit, singing Don't Cry for me, Errinund'ra.*

Le LIBRE

Chock up another point

Les Bleus were up against their toughest opponent of this group as they faced off against Squornshelous. The few Eauz fans who were allowed to enter Vilita were in the crouds, in the Turoki National Stadium in Turoki City, Vilita to watch this match. A recorded sell out crowd for the stadium as both teams were looking to take away 3 points from this match. The referee for the match came from Vilita. Eauz officials were worried that the referee might spoil the match for Les Bleus, seeing as Vilita and Eauz are not on strong political terms. An Eauz victory, would pretty much give them a place in the round of 16.

The Vilitan referee blew the whistle, starting the match. The Squorn team surprised Les Bleus though, as they attacked early. During the 6th minute of play, a long pass was sent towards the centre near the net, but Rousoi jumped in and interfered with the ball, knocking it to the left side of the field. Les Bleus regained possession, but were stopped at the centre by the Squorn defence. Fast forwarding to the 18th minute of play, as Squorn was still putting on the pressure, with a long shot, which deflected off of an Eauz player, and into Eauz possession. Thorain got the ball, but misplayed it, resulting in Squorn football star Raskolnikov gaining possession, breaking towards the goal. His first attempt clanked off of the crossbar, but he was able to rebound and score the first goal of the match. Squornshelous went up 1 – 0 early, as most of the fans were cheering that Les Bleus were losing. Down, but not out, Les Bleus used the hatred against their team as a way to encourage their team to win. Regaining the ball, Les Bleus went on the attack as Alia took the ball up. A Squorn attacker came after Alia, and when Alia passed the ball, a hard tackle by the Squorn defender, brought Alia down. Alia and the Eauz officials could not believe their eyes, as the referee did not call Squorn on the hard foul. Meanwhile, the pass went to Vasser who brought it towards the net. In a hurry to get a shot off, he sent it high, being blocked by the Squorn keeper. This gave Les Bleus the first corner of the match. The kick was taken by Henry who sent it high and wide, with Alia receiving the ball. Bombarded by defenders, Alia passed it to Vasser who took a shot, which was saved by the Squorn keeper. Reaching the 30th minute of play, Squorn was attacking, but the Eauz defence prevented anything from occurring, as Guillaume Ulfston fairly won the ball with the attack. The Vilitan referee though would have nothing to do with it, as he whistled and held up the yellow card. Once again, Les Bleus could not believe where the problem was. A free kick by Squorn resulted in it sailing too far to the left of the net. A final attack by Les Bleus during the 42nd minute of play, saw Rousseau receiving the ball, but apparently was ruled off-side as the frustration started to mount of Les Bleus against this referee. The whistle sounded, as the first half ended, Les Bleus were down 1 – 0 and looking at all the possible chances they had, but were not, due to odd calls by the referee.

The second half started with the cheers of fans for Squorn, mainly because they were beating Les Bleus who are the easy team to love to hate. Les Bleus gained possession of the ball taking it up field. A long pass sent Vasser chasing for the ball in the right corner. He was followed by a Squorn defender, but Vasser was able to get out of the way, passing it to Alia. Alia saw D'Aubigne, who went on a fast break towards the net. A shot was taken, being blocked by the Squorn keeper, but there was a rebound, and D’Aubigne grabbed it, and put it into the net, tying the match up 1 – 1 at the 50th minute of play. As soon as the goal went in, a loud roar of boo’s filled the stadium, as they knew Les Bleus were back in the match. Both teams played attack and counter attack for the next 10 minutes, resulting in nothing. Running out of time, both teams substituted in some more offensive players, as Les Bleus were hoping they could take this match. During the 76th minute of play, Eauz was threatening, as Vasser sent a pass in the air towards the net. Rousseau was there, putting down a header, as he dove, but it went just short of the goal, a big disappointment for Les Bleus, especially as the net was open for Rousseau. The match though, ended with strong defence on both sides, and the 1 – 1 tie. Both teams had played well, and it was expected that this would be one of the best played matches of the cup.

For Les Bleus, they would add 1 point to their lead, not the 3 points they were hoping to clinch the group with, but it helps them nonetheless. As for the standings, Les Bleus sit atop the table with 4 points and a goal difference of +1. They are the only team in the group to have a positive goal difference. As for the rest of the teams, they all have a chance of qualifying. For Dance 2 Revolution, they have the lowest chance, as they would have to win, and hope for Eauz to win their match. Les Bleus will face off against Liverpool England, who has tied both their matches. Thus, match day 3 should be an exciting an thrilling time, as all teams could lose it or win it.


Group A
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Eauz 4 1 1 0 4:3 1
2. Liverpool England 2 0 2 0 0:0 0
3. Squornshelous 2 0 2 0 1:1 0
4. Dance 2 Revolution 1 0 1 1 3:4 -1

Aquiliana Nears Qualificiation
But lack of Iansislean satellite reception means we have no idea how close they are

Nobody's really quite sure what the situation is for the Falcons' chance of making the elimination rounds. They could be up 3 points, they could be tied for the lead.

All we know is, both of those possibilities are much more than anyone ever expected.

Through 2 matchdays, Aquiliana is on top of their Group after defeating Krytenia 1-0. 1 point against Iansisle will secure a place in the Finals for sure, as will a Krytenian defeat of Europa Brittania. Unfortunately, no reporters could be persuaded to attend the Ian-Briton match, scheduled simultaneously with the Falcon's ultimately thrilling match.

One thing may or may not be for sure: If Iansisle won that game, then both they and Aquiliana make the next round.

Probably.


Final Score:
Krytenia 0 - 1 Aquiliana
(None) - (Cuniculus 61)

LE's draw strengthens Pschychoes' position even further
A second scoreless draw for Liverpool England means that Squornshelous is now in second place by virtue of goals scored. With our last game against Dance 2 Revolution, we are confident that we will qualify for the second round, but are wary of an upset, which is a very posible thing after D2R's draw with LE.

Group A
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Eauz 4 1 1 0 4:3 1
2. Squornshelous 2 0 2 0 1:1 0
3. Liverpool England 1 0 2 0 0:0 0
4. Dance 2 Revolution 1 0 1 1 2:3 -1

Low Earth Orbit

A two-foot in diameter ball of tinfoil - complete with futuristic blinking lights! - swung low over Kaze Progressa. Its sides were marked with the symbol of the Royal Space Exploration Corps of Iansisle. The Salvador orbitor had been flung into the upper atmosphere a little more than two years ago from the Copplestone pad by one of Iansisle’s powerful Gurney-III rocket boosters. It also remained Iansisle’s sole extraterrestrial possession.

Frantic attempts to beam the score of Iansisle’s latest match - apparently, the wires normally used were unavailable - met with desperation when the reporters realized that the Salvador orbitor had no means of receiving, much less retransmitting, radio signals. But it did have really swell blinking lights!

Not, of course, that anyone back on the Shield would care to know what the score was. Maybe it was because only a baker’s dozen of fans turned up to support their team (a pathetic effort; even the unpresent fans of Europa Brittania had a better showing), but the Ians were rolled over by the nameless players 3-0. The Ians’ hopes of making the next round now stand perched on a razor; one good sneeze could cut their cheek.

Or something.

And so the Salvador orbitor continued on its merry way, blissfully unaware of the wailing of thirteen loyal and disappointed Ians fans far below.

ASNN - Stars hunker down for brutal final match against 'slaves

Audioslavia v The Lowland Clans
Arena: K-Cheese Frizkao Arena, Frizkao, Kaze Progressa
Referee: Marco Bindschädler [6,8] [Liechtenistan]

FRIZKAO, KP - The ASLC national team walked into the K-Cheese Frizkao Arena surrounded by crowds of fans and reporters who had travelled to Kaze Progressa to watch the team play. You could feel the team glance at each other, and they almost seemed to give a collective shrug as they headed out Monday to practice before the big game. Audioslavian press ran a story yesterday detailing the results the teams need to advance, and it would seem as if only Margaret herself could get the Stars through.

Manager Jeff McKay announced the starting line up today, which would continue the pretty much standard lineup, with the strikers being Kevin Landingham, Percy Stewart, 16-year old wonderkid half-Druidian Jason Hurst, and Peter Bearclaw, while the rest of the lineups will be the same starting line-up. After having a disastorous defensive outing against the Druids, the Stars are looking to close ranks against the highly skilled 'slaves. Defensive coach Preston has emphasized man on man coverage, closing the passing lanes and getting in that touch that keeps them off the ball. After today's practice, he was reservedly optomistic. "We are definitely in for a tough game, and we should not underestimate our opponents ability to do damage. But I do think that we have prepared ourselves as well as we can, and I think we can pull off an upset here."

Meanwhile, there have been rituals of good-luck performed all across the nation, such as the burning and various of degredations of Aquillas national flag, anthem, and various other symbols. Since their nation has fallen into anarchy, cries have come from the public to find a new root of all evil. Rumors have it officials are considering changing the hated Aquillans to the even more hated Lykaians, who have been seen as totally underserving of anything other than a firm nuclear strike.

Predicted Match Results
Audioslavia 1-2 The Lowland Clans
NEWI Cefn Druids 1-1 Starblaydia


Audioslavia 3 2 0 1 8 7 +1 6
The Lowland Clans 2 2 0 1 5 4 +1 6
NEWI Cefn Druids 2 1 1 1 8 8 +0 4
Starblaydia 2 0 1 2 2 4 -2 1

Now how on earth did that happen?
Raptors Claw Their Way Into Second Round

After playing an excellent match against former World Cup champions Kingsford on the first matchday, it all had to come to pieces on the second one. A pathetic showing in the first half against Raptor Claw undid the whole team, as Narun and Naroun dominated the match.

James Underwood was the only gleaming light on a dreary night in Jlinal, where Maki Narun scored the first goal after only nine minutes. Walking through the defense as though it was a paper wall, he scored a simple goal past a helpless Jonathan Havell, who dived the wrong way in a futile attempt.

Only four minutes later, still shocked by being 0-1 down against a team ranked fortieth in the world, watched as Runni Naroun (yes, those of you who have spotted inane puns in the Dinosaur names are correct - why this is the C-mail has not been able to ascertain) caught a sneaky pass from Contro Lindaplae (it should be obvious by now), and slotted in a beautiful volley shot straight at Havell - who fumbled it into his own net. 0-2 after 13 minutes.

The rest of the match was spent in futile attack by the Streeters, as the Dinosaurs obviously had learnt something about System Karela. They stood with eleven players inside their own goal - almost literally - and whatever shot was either headed out, hit someone's hand conveniently without the referee, Trevor Korsov of Squornshelous (you guessed it, the "WTF?" nation) noticing it, or other generally nice things. Only once did they break through - when Robbie Stubbings hit a shot along the floor that bounced into Yindabak's foot and into the back of the net after 55 minutes. And little did it help. Cockbill Street lost 1-2 - probably their greatest failure in any World Cup match since the 1-2 loss to Big Pimento (and that wasn't fatal, anyway) - and qualification just seems a lot harder.

In fact, the Street is 95 % certain of qualifying with a draw - ah, who am I kidding. Bedistan are only the best team in the world, after all. To quote an Audioslavian source: "Shit happens to shit teams."

COCKBILL STREET 1 (Stubbings 71)
RAPTOR CLAW 2 (Narun 9, Naroun 13)

C-mail ratings:
COCKBILL STREET (4-1-2-3) RAPTOR CLAW (4-4-2)
Jonathan Havell 3 Gonnast Opyou 8
Nicholas Gunter 3 Imapla Yindabak 5
Bjorn Spearthrower 5 Iwilltac Kleyou 6
Lars Fearinciter 2 off 55 Makapla Yupdaline 4
(Benjamin Cribbage 4 on 55) Overla Pinrun 6
Scott Walker 4 Imadalea Der 5
Johnny Howard 2 off 40 Contro Lindaplae 4
(Paul Aketon 4 on 40) Runni Nondaside 7
James Underwood 6 Maki Narun 6
Stein Hammerhock 3 off 69 Imat Arget 5
(Benjamin Keegan on 69) Runni Naroun 7
Rikki Stone 2
Thorgeirr Axewielder 3
Robert Stubbings 4
Sum 11 players: 37 Sum 11 players: 63
Sum 13 players: 45

We won.

We what?

We beat Kerla.

Really?

Yep, topped the group. Everyone said Vilita would do it, but we showed em.

Who we playing next?

The Eagles Nest.

How do you know that?

I stole this document from the KPDSMSEMS [Kaze Progressa Department of Stats and More Stats and Even More Stats]

Let's have a look.

World Cup 17 - Top
Second Round Quarter Finals Semi Final

Liverpool England (28) -----
| ----------------------------
Bedistan (3) --------------- |
| ----------------------------
Spaam (16) ----------------- |
| ----------------------------
Vilita (14) ----------------

Raptor Claw (48) -----------
| ----------------------------
Dance 2 Revolution (47) ---- |
| ----------------------------
Total n Utter Insanity (7) - |
| ----------------------------
The Eagles Nest (4) --------

World Cup 17 - Bottom
Second Round Quarter Finals Semi Final

Europa Brittania (5) -------
| ----------------------------
Starblaydia (46) ----------- |
| ----------------------------
Svecia (18) ---------------- |
| ----------------------------
Melmond (42) ---------------

Audioslavia (6) ------------
| ----------------------------
Aquiliana (69) ------------- |
| ----------------------------
Kaze Progressa (20) -------- |
| ----------------------------
Rejistania (2) -------------

Damn, we have the toughest match. I bet those Vilitans threw their game against the Lemmings just for an easier ride to the final.

Those crafty buggers.

Miraculous Results See Starblaydia Through!
I love it when a plan comes together!

What can we say other than "Yeeeeaaaaaaaah!", can you think of anything?

Starblaydia had never been to the World Cup Finals before. Starblaydia had never beaten NEWI Cefn Druids before. Now, after today, Starblaydia have, at last, beaten their lakeside neighbours, along with progressing to the 'Round of 16' (otherwise known as the Second Round) for the first time in their Debut World Cup Finals.

With Starblaydia exposing the rather nervous Druids defence with power forwards Simeone Di Bradini and Eomer Hall, the Druids 'keeper was peppered with shots in the opening twenty minutes. Though the newly-introduced McDonald brothers knew each other's games well, the overriding sense of fear coming from the Druids was a feeling of 'we musn't lose'. This feeling, coupled with Starblaydia's 'let's go for it' attitude, resulted in some minor Druid mistakes but Starblaydia couldn't captialise.

All this changed in in the twenty-eighth minute as Eomer Hall's pressing of the left-back Trevor Griffiths produced Starblaydia's opener. As Griffiths hesitated about booting a long-ball into Row Z, Hall nipped in with a strong challenge and came away with the ball. Three strides later and he pulled it back for Simeone Di Bradini, with his arm up in the box. A simple touch with the inside of his right foot was all that was needed, as Starblaydia took the lead.

'The Lead', however, just wasn't enough at the Gateway Arena and its Lit-up archway. Starblaydia needed the two-goal advantage, whatever happened. The next thing that happened, however, was a mis-timed challenge on Michael Hawthorne, which left him needed to be stretchered off while the offending player, new Captain 'Mo' Leicester, was given a caution for his brief lapse of concentration.

Stefan Haldorsson came on for Starblaydia and made an instant impact. As he danced around young Joseph Matthews with a fancy one-two with Simon Hill. He crossed the ball in for Di Bradini, but his header came off the bar. First to the rebound, Haldorsson made himself some space beyond the McDonald brothers, then used his right foot to place the ball perfectly in the corner. There were still ten minutes to go in the first half and Starblaydia already had their dream-scoreline.

The second half saw the Druids come back at Starblaydia with a vengence, knowing that their possible qualification was at stake. Po and Law became much more useful up front with a minor formation change that Starblaydia failed to counter for nearly twenty minutes. Eomer Hall was the sacrifical lamb as Roberto Di Bradini came on to shore up the defence in a 4-5-1 formation.

Once again this was an inspired subsitution, as this flooding of midfield gave Starblaydia control of the match again. So much control, in fact, that Ki-Jana Carter managed to score his first senior goal in International Football. His only other time on the scoresheet for Starblaydia was 'back in the day' eight years ago in the 3rd Under-21 World Cup against Magnus Valerius in a 3-1 win where Simeone Di Bradini also scored.

As young Roberto held up the midfield, it allowed Ki to gain ground, latching onto a perfect through-ball from the younger Di Bradini, knocking it across the keeper's body and into the net with all the calm of a striker who's already scored a hatful.

For twenty minutes the Starblaydi fans were cheering, then when the final whistle blew they went into ectasy. So much, in fact, that the Stadium Announcer had to tell them to shut up so they could hear the result from the Audioslavia-Lowland Clans match.

A hushed silence fell over the stadium.

"And in the other Group F match the final score was..

"Audioslavia Three...

"The Lowland Clans...

"...

"Two!"

Apparently the Announcer then went on to confirm that Starblaydi were through to the next round, but the decibel level was such that it may have broken a few Strategic Weapons Testing treaties in the Progressan nation.

Starblaydia are through to the next round, a knockout against their first ever opponents on any international stage, Europa Brittania. Let us, for a moment, look back at the U21WC3 squad.

Starblaydia's U21WC3 Squad

1. Rodriguez Da Silva, GK, 20
2. Rastian Salaam, LB, 19
3. Duncan Jacob, SW, 19
4. Moses Brown, CB, 19
5. J.J. Stark, RM, 17
6. Olaf Vikerman (Captain), AM, 20
7. Ki-Jana Carter, DM, 19
8. Brett Perriman, LM, 20
9. Ricky Torino, SC, 18
10. Simeone Di Bradini, SC, 19
11. Boomer Moore, RCF, 19

Those in purple will start in the next game against Europa Brittania

Could this be the final, one and only chance to gain revenge over that 4-2 defeat on Match-Day One, a good eight years ago?

You're Damn Right.

Final Score:
Starblaydia 3 - 0 NEWI Cefn Druids
(S. Di Bradini 28, Haldorsson 34, Carter 72) - (None)

Group F Results, Matchday 3
Starblaydia 3 - 0 NEWI Cefn Druids
Audioslavia 3 - 2 The Lowland Clans


Group F Table, Matchday 1:
Pos Nation P W D L GF-GA Pts GD
--------------------------------------------------------
[1] Audioslavia 3 3 0 0 10-7 9 +3
[2] Starblaydia 3 1 0 2 4-3 3 +1
<3> The Lowland Clans 3 1 0 2 5-6 3 -1
<4> NEWI Cefn Druids 3 1 0 2 7-10 3 -3


MD00: .::WC17 Group F Scehdule
GRP1: Audioslavia 2-1 Starblaydia
GRP2: Starblaydia 0-1 The Lowland Clans
GRP3: Starblaydia 3-0 NEWI Cefn Druids


Starblaydia's World Cup Finals Goalscoring Chart
Player Goals Total Goals
-------------------------------------
S. Di Bradini 1 23
A. Ol-wairain 1 10
S. Haldorsson 1 9
K-J. Carter 1 2

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Vilita 1-1 TnUI

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Vilita Goalscorers::
1' Callum Banda


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Vilkaus Returns for Fifth Cup.


Vilita Jungle Cats Report::The Vilitan FA held a press conference today to unveil the selected coaching staff for the World Cup 17 finals, being held for the first time in Vilita, as well as in fellow host nation Kaze Progressa.

-------------------------Helmut Vilkaus will continue in his role as Head Coach, a role he has held since Vilita's first attempt at the World Cup, World Cup 13 in Rejistania and Cockbill Street. In his time in charge of the Jungle Cats, Vilkaus has made the World Cup finals twice, as well as winning silverware in the World Cup 13 Cup of Tardy against the Weegies, and the World Cup 14 Cup of Harmony. Counting all senior matches, World Cup Finals and Qualifying, Cup of Harmony, Eagles Cup and Friendly Internationals, Vilkaus holds a record of.

-------------------------There will be a multitude of changes in the National backroom however. Former Assistant Manager Baron O'Toole who has un-retired from the playing staff, will be focusing soley on the Under-21 side for which he will continue in his head-coaching role. Taking his place as Vilkaus' right hand man at the World Cup Finals will be former Regional-Level goalkeeper, Rory Issah. issah has served under O'Toole as Goalkeeper coach at marine Coast United, and was the trainer of choice for Yeaddin Owls goalkeeper Bryan 'Pop' Duiker. Duiker played under Issah at Marine Coast until transferring to Makosile in search of regular first team action. His impressive performances at Makosile quickly earned him a transfer to Marine's arch rivals, Yeaddin Owls. Owls Assistant Manager Nigel Chapman, who retired from the National Team after World Cup 16, will be joining with his nemesis O'Toole as Assistant for the Under 21's.

-------------------------The Jungle Cats have also brought in a new staff to aide in their training for the Knockout rounds of the World Cup. After an opening matchday victory over Kerla, the Jungle Cats have fallen to a draw against Total n Utter Insanity and a loss to Lemmitania, only making the Round of 16 on goal differential.

-------------------------The new Staff includes an international stars team made up of star players residing in less known nations, excelling in a sport ahead of their time, but not getting the chance to impress on the World Stage. The team, being sponsored by Vilitan based 3wide.com Designs; will be basing out of Strike FC's training facility in Lonngeylin. Led by Ailati National Coach Tiziano Milani, the team will train side by side with the Vilitan National team and each training day will conclude with a 45 minute training match. Other notable names on the squad are USAnian goalkeeper Stanton Stover, and Al Quds goalkeeper Helenio Roman. Three notable forwards, Ravenspire's Ippolit Bekishev, Novvs Atlantis' Joseph Lammertink and Salmantic's Samuel Nafiger will be up against Vilita's Jimmy Kater in a diverse arrangement of shot taking. The midfield battles will be fought by USAnia's Richard Moore and Carl Mullins, Crosshills Kresten Selvig and Salmantic's Giuseppe Di Franco. Jurassica's Rik Kalsbeek will hold up the defense, alongside Runaway Moose's Chip Wiggins and Helmut Peters. Brazillicos Carols Daniel Ruarte and Jurassica's Izso Hargitai and Akis Soufleris will round out the lineup of 3wide.com's All-Stars hosted by Strike FC.


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Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Jimmy Kater, [D] Enzo Ahat, [D] Giacomo Adika, [D] Jaloey Afrikka, [DM] Jürgen Ramzi, [M] Santo Kecker, [M] Alexander Östling, [M] Jonathon Stott, [M] Calaesa Mitaroka, [F] Callum Banda, [F] Serge DuPont
BENCH::
[F] Hluali Mijatos, [F] Germán Salomón, [M] Marasent Sioane, [M] Tanner Nerni, [U] Umberto Melli, [D] Esemar Aliana, [GK] Massimo Corsi

Vilita Substitutions::
(26) - Calaesa Mitaroka >>> Hluali Mijatos


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Matches & Venues:
M01: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [2] - [1] Kerla (Tivali Ring Stadium, Alikki Corra)
M02: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [1] - [1] Total n Utter Insanity (Tivali Ring Stadium, Alikki Corra)
M03: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [0] - [1] Lemmitania (Tivali Ring Stadium, Alikki Corra)
R16: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [] - [] Spaam (The Shultis, Lonngeylin)

Bull Shit.

Miracle! TEN Makes Round of 16

Ignoring The Confusion, TEN Beats Crystilakere 3-1

The Strike Birds entered their final game in Group 3 with no idea if they were playing for a spot in the Cup, or if they were playing for just pride. In fact, when the game started, this was all they knew.


Pos Team G W D L F A GD Pts
1 Turori 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
2 Spaam 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
3 The Eagles Nest 2 0 1 1 1 2 -1 1
4 Crystilakere 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0


For some reason, sports scores were not being reported, but the buzz from the Vilita natives was that this game was important...for who, we didn't know. Apparently, as the match started the midfielders asked for a truce and started sharing scores of what they knew they had played. Apparently Crystilakere didn't know where they stood as well.

As word filtered around, It was told that Crys lost to Spaam 3-1 on MD 1, but won to Turori 1-0. So after some quic numbers, and a small bribe to the scoreboard operator, the following table was posted:


Pos Team G W D L F A GD Pts

1 Spaam 2 1 1 0 4 1 3 4
2 Turori 2 1 0 1 1 1 0 3
3 Crystilakere 2 1 0 1 2 3 -1 3
4 The Eagles Nest 2 0 1 1 1 2 -1 1


Crystilakere had a chance with a tie, TEN had to win, and then Spaam had to win or tie. A Turori win, and both TEN and Crys was done. The game started after 15 minutes had ran off the clock to sort this out with a flurry.

Secour scored first blood with a nice cross that was headed in by Weber Strong. not 8 minutes later, Crystilakere answered with a goal of their own. both teams tried numerous attacks, and 3 yellow cards were issued with some rough tackling on both sides, but the score ended deadlocked at 1.

*Halftime*

A Shadowry Figure stands by two machines, one emblazoned with an eagle, one not. A tall man of Italian descent stands behind him.

SF: Crystilakere brought in their own RP machine?

Guido: yeah boss, it's that new version. Doesn't work on length, it deals with that new idea of effort or something.

SF: Quality? which one is working better?

Guido: I don't know. I've never seen them compete directly.

SF: What did Crys submit as an RP?

Guido: They didn't.

SF: So if their machine had a catastrophic.....failure, they wouldn't be that shocked right?

Guido: *lifts sledgehammer* I don't think so.

SF: OK, great, I have to go back to my seat. Take care of stuff.

The game picked up, with Crystilakere making a run quickly at the Nest box, and the shot was going towards the edge of the goal when suddenly the wind picked up and blew it just wide....and the crowd gasped. What terrible timing.

The ensuing free kick resulted in a break out run that ended with Secour driving a curving shot that made the corner of the goal to give TEN the lead 2-1. Crys tried again to counter, but a pushing off call was given by the ref and TEN then took the ball and controlled the tempo for the next 30 minutes.

Coach Adams then started screaming for a 3rd goal, as it may come down to goal differential if in fact things worked well for them. Secour marshalled a play that gave Horace his first goal of the game, a blast from the top of the box that cleared out the defense and gave the Strike Birds a 3-1 lead.

The Birds tried for a 4th insurance goal, but was unable to get it. and so then they had to wait for the Spaam Turori game to end. They had done their part. They had won by enough to give them a +1 goal differntial. A tie would give then the second position by differntial, and a spaam win would give it outright. Then the score was posted.

Spaam 2 Turori 3 :86 minutes.

As the TEN fans groaned, a small part of the scoreboard started showing feed from the game. Spaam was putting on a furous attack that as injury time was announced got them a free kick just outside the box, that well, honestly, this reported doesn't know what happened, because the connection went out. but when it came back, Spaam was celebrating the equalizer with 1 minute left in injury time.

The Strike Bird faithful went wild, and got louder when the whistle was blown and the result was final. TEN had somehow, after losing an upset match to a very fired up Turori team, gotten the second spot. Coach Adams' third goal proved pivotal in the game.

However, as the afternoon went along, and the brackets were announced, and TnUI was announced as their opponent, frustrated fans moaned of how hard of a first round match they had. But it did not matter, the Birds had made the knockout rounds, and now controlled their own fate from here on out.


Group 3 FINAL Results
Pos Team G W D L F A GD Pts
1 Spaam 3 1 2 0 7 5 2 5
2 The Eagles Nest 3 1 1 1 4 3 1 4
E Turori 3 1 1 1 4 4 0 4
E Crystilakere 3 1 0 2 3 6 -3 3


TEN plays TnUI in their first match of the kncokout rounds. The record against TnUI:

WCXIV:
Qualifiers
Win 1-0 (at TnUI)
Win 1-0 (vs. TnUI)

WCXVI:
Group Play
Loss 0-1

Total Record: 2-0-1 +1 GD

The TEN-TnUI match will be the best match of the Round of 16, being the only game between two top ten teams in the world.



Shadowry Figure: It is time. We announce our plans tomorrow.

Lackey: Amazing how Spaam got that last goal.

SF: Not really, we fixed their RP machine. It fired up with just minutes to go.

L: but won't it help them in the long run.

SF: Nope...that was taken care of as well.

L:Worked just long enough while it was useful. No wonder you are the boss....that's brilliant.

Falcons Make Elimination Rounds!
Final-match loss proves not to make a difference

Shortly before Aquiliana's final match of round-robin play, the team received the news that Iansisle had been defeated by Europa Brittania the previous day, meaning the Falcons were already through to the next round, unless they lost by 2 goals or more. Coach Ed recognized this as an opportunity to rest his offensive stars and scout the lower-level players to find if they had any ability, feeling confident in his team's defense. Iansisle was fighting for a playoff spot, but ultimately came up short as Europa Brittania collected yet another 3-goal win.

And of course, Melet Bælükas wasn't about to let his team down. The youngster played nearly flawless, but once rushed out prematurely and left the net open to a cross and shot, which was exactly what happened, turning out to be the game's only goal.

Aquiliana's biggest test of all will be their next match, against perennial juggernaut Audioslavia. The betting line looks to be at least 5:1, but the players aren't worried.

"We look at every opponent the same way," said captain Pontifex Auguratius. "People wouldn't think it to look at them, but Europa Brittania was ranked #5 in the world when we beat them - and they went on to win our group."

"With our defense, there's no reason we can't get a 1-0 win over any team."

Final Score:
Iansisle 1 (57')
Aquiliana 0 (None)

Group E
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Europa Brittania 6 2 0 1 7:2 5
2. Aquiliana 6 2 0 1 2:1 1
3. Iansisle 6 2 0 1 4:4 0
4. Krytenia 0 0 0 3 2:8 -6

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

EXTENDED VACATION FOR SVECIA
Team, fans excited about more games in Kaze Progressa

EL CID THE HERO 1 Svecia 2

PAGEAS, Kaze Progressa - The Lightning cruised into the second round with a somewhat less than par, but still very much solid performance against El Cid, a team the Lightning beat and drew with during this Cup´s qualifying.

El Cid looked upset minded as they jumped out to an early 1-0 lead with a goal by Barry Trotter in the 8th minute. A slight mistouch by Pawel Forsch in the back allowed for El Cid captain Terry Nevile to gather the loose ball in the penalty area before shooting it off the post. Trotter was there to redirect the ball into the net.

But Svecia evened the score on their very next possession. Straight from the kickoff, Hanan Belagt and Mikael Solskjaer combined quick one-two passing down the field before finding a streaking Joël Simão behind the defenders. The entire El Cid defense came to a halt as they all threw their hands in the air to signal offside. The linesman didn´t agree and allowed Simão to tap the ball nibley around the keeper and into the net to tie the game up in the 9th minute.

Svecia missed an opportunity to go ahead in the 13th minute after Solskjaer took the ball into the penalty area and was judged to have been tripped by Jaulti Barrnu, one of the best referees in the world who hails from Kaze Progressa. El Cid claims that Solskjaer should have received a yellow for faking the foul went unheard, and indeed, replays showed Solskjaer´s leg get knocked by the keeper David Niemi´s elbow.

Hanan Belagt took the penalty kick, but Niemi made up for his mistake and guessed the direction correctly, leaving the score at 1-1 for the rest of the half.

Neither team seemed to manage to break through the other´s defensive line, and all but two shots, the goals by Trotter and Simão, were taken from behind the 18. Svecia and El Cid combined for only five shots the entire half. Two were on goal, and neither keeper was tested too much.

The second half saw a few more shots taken, 4 from Svecia and 3 from El Cid, but only one of El Cid´s shots fell on target, and that was a weak header from a corner kick that fell straight into Piet van Meer´s arms. Svecia managed two shots on goal, one a driven shot that was turned away for a corner by Niemi, and the other a goal by Simão in the 60th minute.

Midfielder Martin Kliever brought the ball down the right side of the field, but his low cross looked like it would be out of the reach of anyone. But Simão didn´t give up on the ball for a second, and sliding, he managed to get a toe on the ball to redirect it into the net to give Svecia the lead for good.

Svecia didn´t travel out of the group stage in the last World Cup and are extremely excited to move on this year, especially when it was realized that the Lightning would be playing their friendly Fearless Farmer rivals from Melmond. Svecia striker Hanan Belagt and keeper Piet van Meer will be playing against many of their club teammates, as both play in the Melmond premier league. Attendence for this game is sold out, and Kaze Progressa has agreed to put up big screens for the many fans who couldn´t get tickets to watch, for a price of course. Both Melmondians and Svecians will be together in the group, but as both populations know of their teams´ histories with each other, celebrations will be more friendly taunts than outright hatred.

Back at home, it is estimated that over 2 billion television sets will be tuned to the game. Melmond will be the underdogs coming into the game, having advanced to the second round in what is their first World Cup finals appearance. Svecia are more experienced in this position, but still will need to put on a show to keep the Weltmeister dream alive.

We Qualify! World Champs Upset 3-1, D2R beat Squornshelous to qualify second

Celebrations were wild around the nation today after word filtered through from Vilita that Douglas Freech had scored a second-half hat-trick to secure a win over the reigning champions 3-1 - a result that coupled with a Dance 2 Revolution win sends the defending champions out, and the two teams who were not expected to reach the second round by many, in. Freech, who turned 19 yesterday, was saidto be pleased to score his first national hat-trick on his birthday. He also expected a tough game in the second round against the team Liverpool England have met thrice and won twice, Bedistan. 'We have a great history against them, including wins in the final 36 years ago and the third-place playoff 32 years ago, it's bound to be a cracker."

TABLE MATCHDAY THREE
Group A
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
Q. Liverpool England 5 1 2 0 3:1 1
Q. Dance 2 Revolution 4 1 1 1 6:5 1
E. Eauz 4 1 1 1 5:6 -1
E. Squornshelous 2 0 2 1 3:7 -4

Predictions for Post-Group Stages:
Second Round: Liverpool England over Bedistan, Vilita over Spaam, Dance 2 Revolution over Raptor Claw, The Eagles Nest over Total n Utter Insanity, Europa Brittania over Starblaydia, Svecia over Melmond, Audioslavia over Aquiliana, Rejistania over Kaze Progressa
Quarter Finals: Vilita over Liverpool England, The Eagles Nest over Dance 2 Revolution, Svecia over Europa Brittania, Rejistania over Audioslavia
Semi Finals: The Eagles Nest over Vilita, Rejistania over Svecia
Final: The Eagles Nest over Rejistania

To: Guylain N'Dumbu-Nsungu, Manager, Starblaydia National Football Team.
From: Trevor Smith, President, Druida.

Dear Mr N'Dumbu-Nsungu,

Or would you prefer it if I called you Guy? Surely there's no need to be so formal when you're doing so well.

Anyway, to the point. Just a simple well done on qualifying for the second round of the World Cup. Congratulations on getting so far, you are making Atlantian Oceania proud, and I and my fellow countrymen hope that your team goes a long way in the tournament.

I want you to know that this isn't just because you beat the Druidish team by the highest amount they've lost by for ages. Perish the thought! This is simply to try to build friendship between our nations. I know that your government isn't too pleased that we're here, but we are, and we're very nice people at heart.

Anyway, good luck against Europa Brittania. They're not what they used to be, so you have a good chance of making the quarters. And then it'd be Svecia or Melmond - after what's gone already, a mere walkover! Then the semis. I won't go on, but good luck and well done.



Trevor Smith

President, People's Republic of Druida.

P.S. This is also nothing to do with the fact that you'll probably be hosting the Baptism of Fire tournament that we hope to be a part of. Please accept that we don't want anything from you except your friendship. Though a good run wouldn't go a miss, actually...

the strikers being Kevin Landingham, Percy Stewart, 16-year old wonderkid half-Druidian Jason Hurst, and Peter Bearclawooc: TLC's roster doesn't mention a 'Jason Hurst' and also states that the team play 4-3-4.... which would give them 12 players on the field including the goalkeeper :p. I've 'adjusted' the team for the team sheet below to include Hurst as number 23 up front and dropped Kassen Illius from the midfield to give the team a more traditional 4-2-4 system. If you have any quarrells TLC then TG me and i'll be happy to change it. :)

If Anyone Can, Lowland Clan't
Audioslavia squeeze past nervous TLCAudioslavia (4-5-1)
----------------------------------------------
| 13 |
| Andersson |
| 4 5 20 6 |
| Romanov Rep Johnstone O`Rourke |
| |
| 16 8 |
| Kennedy Tanner |
| 7 19 |
| Johansen 10 Maiden |
| Laver |
| |
| 9 |
| Bracken |
----------------------------------------------
| 17 19 |
| 23 Landingham Bearclaw 18 |
| Hurst Stuart |
| |
| 12 11 |
| Ijas Julios |
| |
| 4 7 |
| McGraff 5 6 Quest |
| West George |
| 1 |
| Rotios |
----------------------------------------------
The Lowland Clans (4-2-4)

It was one of those games where, despite the fact that a shit load of things had to go wrong to see Audioslavia go out in the first round (NEWI Cefn Druids beating Starblaydia by a lot, The Lowland Clans whupping Audioslavia by a lot), there was always a chance that it could.

The Lowland Clans knew exactly what they needed to do to qualify: better NEWI Cefn Druid's score against Starblaydia, unless the druids lost badly where they would need at least a point. The Lowland Clans have a long, if not too illustrious, history in world football and it was expected that they would have what it takes to take the game to Audioslavia.

In true Scottish style (having your backs to the wall and just shutting your eyes and just fucking going for it) The Lowland Clans ripped into Audioslavia from the off. Wonderkid Jason Hurst showed his talent by leading Romanov and Rep on a merry dance down the left hand side before finally beating them for pace and raking a low shot accross the face of the goal with Andersson beaten. The ball was always going a foot wide, but Bearclaw almost slid in to finish but missed the ball by a fraction of an inch.

The Lowland Clans kept driving Audioslavia back for the majority of the first half. Hurst hit another shot fractionally wide whilst Landingham had a powerful header tipped over the bar by a very busy Peter Andersson.

The inevitable TLC goal came on twenty-five minutes as Stuart whipped over a cross after beating O`Rourke on the wing. Landingham went for the header but was beaten to the ball by Jens Rep who nodded the ball out to the edge of the area. However, Bearclaw was on hand to hit the ball first-time and ball soared effortlessly into the top corner with Andersson unsighted and badly positioned anyway.

The Lowland Fans' cheering had barely died down by the time that news of Starblaydia's one-nil lead filtered through to the Audioslavian fans. The 'slave faithful granted themselves a few whoops and cheers as they realised NEWI Cefn Druids would need three goals to surpass them should the scores stay as they were.


AFTER 30 MINUTES
The Lowland Clans 1-0 Audioslavia
Starblaydia 1-0 NEWI Cefn Druids

Name F-A GD Pts
Audioslavia 7-6 +1 6
The Lowland Clans 4-3 +1 6
NEWI Cefn Druids 7-8 -1 3
Starblaydia 2-3 -1 3

As it turned out, the scores didnt stay as they were for too long. Audioslavia's first proper attack of the game brought them a rather flukey goal. David Maiden took the ball down the left wing and went to cross into the box where Bracken was making a short jog to. Quest charged the cross down but only succeeded in making the ball loop up into the air and down to James Laver. Laver, twenty-five yards out, thought nothing of having a dig. His shot was wayward, but caught a deflection off of an unfortunate Moe West which changed the ball's trajectory just enough to flummox the goalkeeper and send the ball looping into the bottom corner.

TLC looked a little dissapointed, but knew that they would still be going through should the score in the other match stay as it was. The Starblaydia goal was shown on the big screen to the tune of cheers from both sets of fans in the stadium who, although being on good terms with the Druid people, knew that their defeat would take the pressure right off. The only reason the Clanners would have to worry would be if Starblaydia got a second and a third and Audioslavia won the match here, but that was never going to happen in a million years.

The Lowland Clans had the better of the exchanges for the rest of the half, Landingham again saw a header tipped over the bar and Bearclaw had a couple of other long-range drives which narrowly missed. Audioslavia's only hope came again from the stands as the fans gave another wee cheer for the Starblaydia team that was rapidly taking the pressure off of Audioslavia by netting their second.

AFTER 45 MINUTES
The Lowland Clans 1-1 Audioslavia
Starblaydia 2-0 NEWI Cefn Druids

Name F-A GD Pts
Audioslavia 8-6 +2 7
The Lowland Clans 4-4 +0 4
Starblaydia 3-3 +0 3
NEWI Cefn Druids 7-9 -2 3

Things were hotting up in the group. Audioslavia looked as good as qualified with NEWI Cefn Druids needing to net three goals and the 'slaves needing to ship another two for NEWI to get in ahead of Audioslavia. Starblaydia were performing admirably but needed Audioslavia to get themselves ahead of The Lowland Clans to stand a chance of going through. Audioslavia however, were about to let them down.

The Lowland Clans started the second half much as they started the first, only this time they looked even better and showed it. Within three minutes of the re-start TLC had scored, Jason Hurst finally getting his name on the scoresheet after being so unlucky during the first half.

TLC maintained the pressure, peppering away at the 'slavian goal with each of their four strikers having opportunities. Some missed, some saved, some blocked by an Audioslavian defence which now contained most of the midfield, leaving Laver and Bracken on their own up front in case of any counter-attacks.

Counter-attacking was something the 'slaves just couldnt seem to do however, and it took the Clans' letting up on their attacking - by substituting 36 year old striker Kevin Landingham for midfielder Kassen Illius - and concentrating on defending their lead for Audioslavia to get out of their own half.

It took until seventy minutes for Audioslavia to finally start getting oppotunities themselves as TLC got wary of defending their lead. Bracken smashed a volley over the bar and Laver brought two good saves out of Rotios from two good close-range strikes.

The breakthrough came on seventy-six minutes. A corner from Johansen headed home by Khully Tanner at the near post with the TLC defence ball-watching.

The goal came just minutes after Starblaydia hammered what appeared to be the last nail in the coffin of NEWI Cefn Druids' chances of going through to the second round after taking an emphatic 3-0 lead.AFTER 75 MINUTES
The Lowland Clans 2-2 Audioslavia
Starblaydia 3-0 NEWI Cefn Druids

Name F-A GD Pts
Audioslavia 9-7 +2 7
The Lowland Clans 5-5 +0 4
Starblaydia 4-3 +1 3
NEWI Cefn Druids 7-10 -3 3

Now the tides had turned. Realising that even the slightest defeat could see them knocked out, The Lowland Clans desperately needed to defend the scoreline. Manager Jeff McKay took off Bearclaw and replaced him with defender Kevin Burgu and changed TLC's formation to a 5-3-2. Whether leaving the side as it was and telling them to attack the 'slaves was the better cause of action (Audioslavia's counter-attacks had been woefully inept and had never looked like scoring whilst TLC were confident and going for the game) will remain uncertain.

Audioslavia's manager made some straight-forward substitutions. Rail McKenna replaced Calem O`Rourke as a more attacking full-back and rested superstar Alexander Marriot came on for James Laver.

As the game entered the final ten minutes Audioslavia's confidence grew, knocking the ball about and keeping posession well for the first time in the whole game. As Audioslavia grew in confidence The Lowland Clans were faltering under the pressure, knowing that an Audioslavia goal would mean the 'unthinkable circumstance' (Clanner term for Starblaydia going through to the second round) of The Clans being knocked out.

The nervous energy was manifesting itself on different ways. On one hand the TLC defending was quick and strong, on the other it made the defence hasty and heavy-handed, giving Audioslavia a number of free-kicks for petty offences. Danny Bracken was upended on the edge of the box and took Audioslavia's most dangerous kick of the game, twenty-one yards out right on the edge of the box, but his shot curled round the far post.

As ninety minutes approached the referee signalled for four minutes of injury time to the groans of the Clan faithful. Four more minutes to hold out. For the most part they were holding out effectively, with Audioslavia's attacks infrequent and unsuccessful. The whistles from the crowd were getting louder (they'd been going since 80 minutes anyway) and the team were getting more and more tense. Now every time the team got the ball the crowd would sigh with relief, only for the player to just hit the ball up field as far as he could and Audioslavia to go back on the counter-attack again.

With that 94 minute mark fast approaching the 'slaves won a corner thanks to a deflection from a Johansen cross. Every TLC player occupied the box. Johansen whipped the cross in and goalkeeper Rotios rose to punch the ball clear but was impeded by Bracken backing into him. Rotios rotated in mid-air and missed the ball, stumbling over the heads of Bracken and his own defender James McGraff. The ball fell to William Kennedy who directed the ball goalwards with a strong header with his feet grounded. The ball hit the underside of the bar, West was unable to jump high enough to clear it off the line and instead could only wince as the ball ricocheted back off his shoulderblades and into the net.

The Clanners dropped to their knees as the Audioslavians cheered and the referee blew the whistle leaving the TLC team thinking about what might have been.

FINAL SCORES

THE LOWLAND CLANS 2-3 AUDIOSLAVIA
Bearclaw 25 34 Laver
Hurst 48 75 Tanner
94 Kennedy


STARBLAYDIA 3-0 NEWI CEFN DRUIDS
Di Bradini 28
Haldorsson 34
Carter 72

[1] Audioslavia 3 3 0 0 10-7 9 +3
[2] Starblaydia 3 1 0 2 4-3 3 +1
<3> The Lowland Clans 3 1 0 2 5-6 3 -1
<4> NEWI Cefn Druids 3 1 0 2 7-10 3 -3

Second Round: Audioslavia - Aquiliana

Five Reasons Why Audioslavia Are Going To The Quarter Finals

1 - The last time a world cup was held in Kaze Progressa, the 'slaves got to the final.

2 - The last time Audioslavia won a game 5-4, they went on to the world cup final.

3 - The law of averages. Out of the eight second-round matches Audioslavia have played, they have lost seven (on penalties to Lemmitania in WC4, 4-2 AET to Errinundera in WC7, 1-0 to Kingsford in WC10, 1-0 to Europa Brittania in WC11, 2-1 to Spaam in WC13, 2-1 to Eauz in WC14 and 2-0 to Rejistania in WC16) With the exception of Spaam, all of these teams were either former champions, reigning champions, about to be champions that year, or went on to be champions in the future. We have no excuse for the loss to Spaam.

4 - Audioslavia are ranked 63 places ahead of Aquiliana, and every giant killing team gets killed eventually.

5 - Audioslavia have scored ten goals so far to Aquiliana's two

Five Reasons Why Aquiliana Are Going To The Quarter Finals

1 - As Squornshelous and Ironchefk have proved, it is possible to get to the last eight in your first world cup.

2 - Aquiliana have already beaten Europa Brittania, who are ranked ahead of the 'slaves, and Lovisa, who crushed Audioslavia 2-0 in World Cup 15.

3 - There is no law of averages.

4 - Audioslavia have never beaten a side higher than them in the alphabet. Aquiliana's namesake Aquilla went undefeated against Audioslavia in eight games. (three of them as their puppet Eaglet)

5 - Audioslavia are, without a shadow of a doubt, shit

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake, g'nite bitches.

WORLD CUP 17 REVIEW

A Literally Pointless Venture

Krytenia's squad woke up this morning to find their hard-earned credibility hanging upside-down over a large steaming cauldron of visceral matter. The reason? The not-so-Celestials had lost all three of their group games, including some serious whippings by Iansisle and Europa Brittania, and a loss to Aquiliana for crying out loud. Is it time for Mr Isserson to ring the changes in the squad? And if so, who could be up for the chop?

Goalkeepers

Adam Vernazza was almost faultless in qualifying (even scoring a goal from a corner), however there is only so much one person can do, and laryngitis from shouting at the Neanderthals in front of him is a serious possibility. Only his lagophobia prevented him from being ever-present.
Graeme Bravo had little to do in his two games against Vorpal Bunnies, and will deputise for a while yet. Meanwhile, third choice keeper Quentin John is just that. Third choice.

Defenders

The ageing Yves Davison was caught out too many times at right back to be useful to the side any more. Now is the time to bring in fresh blood - Darren Brunwald, 20, has already made serious waves at AFC Westleigh.
It is still astonishing how Clayton Lormer has kept his place in the squad, despite the fact that he is clearly not international class. Move aside, and give Oliver Müller a chance. He's been in the squad for eight years now, and has played the grand total of two games.

Midfielders

Krytenia have one of the best midfields in the NSWC in the form of Cecil Poldov, Wes Byers, Stephen Xousa and Chris Lydersen. Unfortunately, they're not getting any younger, and neither are their understudies. Steve Ellis and Alex Cujetkovic probably have one more World Cup in them, while former captain Will Guarado most likely does not.

Forwards

How evergreen is Ari Smith? He's had his best international spell in his early thirties, but he'll be 37 by the time WC18 rolls about. Free-scoring partner Colin Ulvæus also does not have age on his side, but as long as they can both keep scoring, they can keep Acienko Rimmer on the bench for another four years yet. Chris Kochanski, 20, has managed to score an impressive nineteen goals this season for KEL new boys Casuals Osteria, something that will have Trent Dubilasco quaking in his boots.

That's all from us for World Cup Seventeen, join us soon for the Eighteenth World Cup Qualifiers!

AS: My bad, my earlier RPs indicated that Jason Fleury was having problems with his play, and one RP that was supposed to be posted (I think it was, though I never edited the roster) that had him replaced by the Wonderkid. My bad on the roster though. Enjoyed the RP and we'll be back next cup!

THE MIRACLE HAS HAPPENED

A nation collectively fainted - if they weren't deleriously screaming - as Kaze Progressa somehow made the last sixteen of the World Cup by defeating Melmond with a 30-yard screamer from Cavinski Cozii-Danila twelve minutes from the end.

The moment seemed impossible after Tim Remans had a goal disallowed for a push in the 34th minute, then somehow hit the bar from five yards in injury time. But incredibly, it did. To add to the amazing story, the other match held concurrently saw Dennisov and Commerce Heights cancel each other out in a 0-0 draw at the Irafma Lakeside Arena to send both of them out, put the Progressans miraculously top of their group and set up a dream second-round clash with Rejistania.

Most fans could not comment as they were too stunned, happy or otherwise needing a reality check. One said he felt sleepy around 85 minutes, only to be woken up by the screams of joy at full-time. He insisted he was a dreamer. Now he's not the only one.

ooc: offered by way of apology for not having time to rp during qualifiers for wc17

-----------------------------------------------------

For: Daniel Bryant, AudioSlavian Syndicate of Forging Links to Abroad Places (ASS-FLAP)

From: The Second Assistant Sub-Deputy Executive Secretary to the Alternate Vice Associate Minister of Athletics, Oympics, and Alcoholic Beverages for the Frost Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38

Dear ASS-FLAP Representative Bryant;

The Snub Nose 38 Football Association (which does not have an Acronym as we couldn't figure out how to pronounce "SN38FA") would like to take this opportunity to thank the Audioslavian Football Association, in connection with ASS-FLAP, for the trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient (?), cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent assistance you have offered to the the Snub Nose 38 team. ASS-FLAP has offered to donate certain critical footballing equiptment ('grass', 'socks', 'oranges', 'sticks' - and most appealing, a book of diagrams on how to do complex celebration dances when the team scores a goal).

We have a couple of questions:

1. What is a football team? Is it like a football side?

2. Does that "grass" come rolled and ready to lay out on a pitch, or does it come in small plastic bags ready to lay you out on the pitch?

3. What are these "socks"?

4. Orange what?

5. Sticks? What sticks? How do we get it un-stuck?

ASS-FLAP also offered to teach us the basic rules of the game, like how to kick the ball, how to score a goal, and why biting opponent's kneecaps is frowned upon by both crowd, referee and disgruntled team-cook alike.

1. Ball?

2. Don't we first have to establish what our goal is, before we can "score" one?

3. We insist on our inalienable right to bite.

4. Referee?

5. Team-cook we understand. Although, frankly, the turn-out at meals is rather poor. We're thinking of firing the monkey and taking on an actual human chef, but funding being what it is...

We await with open arms (lockers, barrells, garages, attics, and a closet on the third floor of the Ministry of Super Secret Sleuthery that we can never seem to locate) delivery of the supplies and equipment you have offered. We also have set aside some time in our training schedule (3 minutes and 12 seconds next Tuesday, right after lunch) to receive the valuable training you have offered.

Additionally, we are offering monetary rewards for information leading to the arrest and conviction of person or persons answering to the description of 'Snub Nose 39', and/or 'Snub Nose 36.7' as well as 'Smith and Wesson 186'.

Yours
(Mine, and Ours)

Beverly (Bev)

OOC: I just finished my long long RP about our match which is different from yours KP at the same time you posted yours...and there is no way I am rewriting it all...so I am writing this report to in characterally invalidate your quick report. Sorry!

Melmond City Herald Tech News
Progressan Press Confuses Actual Match for Video Game

KAZA, KAZE PROGRESSA-- In a testament to how advanced pranksterism and video games have gotten in Melmond, the Kaze Progressan press was duped into thinking that a broadcasted match in the new Mellay Sports football video game WCC 'Insert Year Here was the actual match played. It was a collaborative effort by the infamous Melmond teen prankster gang the "Unlucky 13s." They are a group of thirteen year olds who play pranks all across Melmond and wanted to break worldwide in this World Cup, as they sneaked around the Kaze Progressan broadcast van and switched a couple cables around so that the Kaze Progressan station was programming a Melmond Kaze Progressa match on WCC 'Insert Year Here somewhere in Suburbia played by 13-year old Chiniver Meevy which coincidentally ended with the same 1-nil score. After finding out what happened, the Progressan press and media was astonished, "I have never seen such a realistic video game in my life! This will be huge here! But either way, Kaze Progressa won, I am very happy!" Mellay Sports have reached an agreement with the Progressan government to import this astounding video game due to the newly high demand for the game after the prank. The actual match will be replayed on Progressan TV tomorrow night.

Melmond’s Best Loss Yet
Both Sides Happy After Result As Both Advance to Round of 16
By Henry Kalangalangalang of the Melmond City Herald

KAZA, KAZE PROGRESSA—The eyes of three nations had their eyes glued on this most pivotal of matches in Group H. The afternoon match in Quarua between Commerce Heights and Dennisov already has been played. The result of that match was a scoreless tie, meaning that Commerce Heights is eliminated and Dennisov will need some help from Melmond, a tie or a win by the Fearless Farmers would advance the unlikely side into the knockout round. So as the Capitalizts tune out and the Dennisovians tune in, Melmondians and Progressans have kept a close eye on the previous match as well as tonight’s match in Progressair Stadium in Kaza. Now they know the scenarios. For Kaze Progressa, there is no second place for them, they either win the group with a victory over Melmond or be out of the qualifying round with a tie or loss. For Melmond, the variety of ways to get into the knockout round was much more plentiful. A win or tie would give Melmond the victory and the Group H first place. However, Melmond could still advance into the knockout round with a loss, as long as the margin of loss is 2 goals or less. If they lose by two, Melmond better hope that this match is high scoring as goals scored would determine who would advance. If Melmond and Dennisov are tied in that statistic, I believe that Melmond advances due to their head-to-head victory over Dennisov. Either way, this game is very important.
It was indeed a dynamic night at Progressair Stadium in Kaza. All of the days and nights in Kaze Progressa have had just immaculate weather and an electric atmosphere, but this night in particular the weather was more beautiful than ever and the atmosphere was high voltage. During the national anthems, Melmond musical singer Stillint Hecloset did his usual stirring rendition of the Melmond National Anthem which was greeted with the greatest regard by the Fearless Farmer faithful and polite regard from the Progressans who appreciate Hecloset’s singing ability as well as sportsmanship. However, the Kaze Progressans came up with an ingenious idea in order to rally up the 12th player, the fans. They gave the job of singing the Kaze Progressan national anthem to the people of Kaze Progressa, the fans in Progressair stadium. It was a 100,000+ person acapella rendition of the Kaze Progressa national anthem, and this reporter must say that although it wasn’t as aurally pleasing as anthems go, this was one rather magical. I must admit that most Progressans are rather good singers as the giant effort was mainly on key. I suppose one should suspect that considering Kaze Progressa has a colony called Avenging Altos. Anyway lets get to the match, where Kaze Progressa will try to end many efforts of World Cup disappointment in front of their home crowd and Melmond will try to end disappointments of well…everything.
The statistical action was mainly on in the first half of the first half, but by no means was this match boring. The Eagles Nest referee Amy Segora called an uncharacteristically easy going match. Kaze Progressa had a very good gameplan going into this pivotal match. They have noticed that in most of the matches, the physical defence of Melmond usually wears down the strikers of the other team as time goes on. They saw that they should attack all out while their strikers are still fresh. Kaze Progressa came right out of the gate strongly. They were actually more like KamiKaze Progressa more than anything as they wanted to put big time pressure on the vaunted Melmond defence. However, that approach did cost Kaze Progressa some good Melmondian counterattacks which fortunately for the Progressans were thwarted by misaimed shots by the Melmond attack.
At the 13th minute, the Melmond defence was on its toes and the entire Melmond midfield had to come back and help on the defensive side. Melmond defender Trav Strachan was assigned to cover featured Kaze Progressan striker Sani Luvo. Strachan has had a reputation of knowing how to absolutely cancel out the best striker for the other side, but has a reputation for being a bit rough. Kaze Progressa midfielder Razio Cahztavaniko makes a pass intended for Sani Luvo. Melmond defender Trav Strachan was in better position to make the interception. But as Strachan was in place to make the interception, the young Progressan striker Luvo ran as hard as he could but tripped Strachan by his left foot accidentally sweeping Strachan’s right foot. The relatively strict The Eagles Nest referee Amy Segora showed shades of her usual refereeing style as the Progressan phenom Luvo will get the yellow card.
However, the booking did not affect Sani Luvo or the Kaze Progressan side. Actually, it seemed to strengthen their resolve to their game plan, and at the 21st minute, their gameplan will prove to be most beneficial. The Kaze Progressan attack tried to stay furthest away from the Melmond defenders as they could so they wouldn’t get worn down by being in close quarters. Kaze Progressa played a wide open style which opened up many key chances, however Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm was able to make saves on them all. However, the Progressan attack was able to get a shot off where Sani Luvo took what appeared to be a wide open goal, but the diving Xtfuinxm was able to make on outstretched dive and knock the ball out of bounds, earning a corner kick for Kaze Progressa. The Progressans take the corner, which is headed by Luvo, but the ball hits the goalpost! Fortunately for Kaze Progressa, defender Barij Gajzilin was able to mop up the rebound and kick in right into the net. The Progressan supporters, which were like the whole entire stadium other than the small section of the Fearless Farmer faithful, were enraptured by the goal as Kaze Progressa takes the 1-nil lead.
The rest of the first half and the entire second half was really entirely different. However, as time went by, as predicted, the Melmondian momentum got stronger and stronger as the physical defence finally wore the Progressan attack down. Melmond was now on the attack, but everytime the current really seemed to flow, the Progressans would make a huge play that would just dam up the Melmondian hopes. Those plays were key tackles, nice interceptions, clever deflections, and especially great saves by Kaze Progressan goalkeeper Fayu Fanzuhu.
As the second half wound down, both sides played much more conservatively as they realize that with the 1-nil result, both sides will be going into the knockout round. They didn’t want to make any booking mistakes or rash moves which would cause injury. The match eventually ended with the 1-nil Kaze Progressa victory. However, it was an entire lovefest between Progressan and Melmondian alike as they both celebrate their halting of their disappointment fest as well as their advancing into the next round. It was a rather nice scene, a bit odd but a nice scene. Why do I say this is Melmond’s best lost yet? It’s because of who we play next. For coming in second, Melmond will play Group G surprise winner Svecia. Svecia is a side Melmond has known for the longest time and a side they know they can beat. For a prize for winning Group H, Kaze Progressa will get the privilege of playing Rejistania in their next match. Ouch.

Goals
Gajzilin, KPG 21st

Cards
Luvo, KPG 13th

Standings

Other Group H Result
Dennisov 0 – Commerce Heights 0

Group H
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Kaze Progressa 6 2 0 1 3:3 0
2. Melmond 4 1 1 1 3:2 1
3. Dennisov 4 1 1 1 2:2 0
4. Commerce Heights 2 0 2 1 2:3 -1

Team Stats
Goals: Tim Remans (1), Ojfssnsj Xrnym (1), Critandi Unne (1)
Cards: Trav Strachan (1)

Melmond World Cup Schedule (all in Kaze Progressa)

v Commerce Heights (Westside Stadium, Gauralan) T 1-1
v Dennisov (Irafma Lakeside Arena, Quarua) W 2-0
@ Kaze Progressa (Progressair Stadium, Kaza) L 1-0
v Svecia (Gateway Arena, Taqizerr)

Next Game
vs. Svecia (Gateway Arena, Taqizerr)

Well, Melmond has made the knockout round in their first ever World Cup campaign, and quite honestly they have a rather forgiving road to the semi finals. It’s not to belittle Svecia, heck this is one of the best Svecian sides I have seen since World Cups 13 and 14. But taking on the likes of Svecia, Europa Brittania, or Starblaydia is much easier than an Audioslavia or Rejistania. This should be a classic matchup, as Melmond and Svecia have been long rather friendly rivals. The Melmond National Team played their first ever international match in Svecia, getting whipped 4-nil by the Lightning. However, Melmond has handed Svecia their share of embarrassments. In the second Cup of Harmony in Melmond, a 2-nil Melmond victory over Svecia put the Lightning in third in their group and in the bottom round in which they can only come up with being in ninth place out of 16 in the entire Cup of Harmony. However, this match takes the cake in terms of importance in this sixth showdown between this familiar foe. In the five games played between the two sides, Svecia has won three and Melmond has won two. Here is the starting lineup for Manager David Bixler’s Fearless Farmers.

GK- Snhp Xtfuinxm
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Charles Unne
D- Trav Strachan
M- Fwynj Otsjx
M- Alfred Smith
M- Critandi Unne
M- Cristina Antunez
F- Ojfssnsj Xrnym
F- Tim Remans

Tickets for all the World Cup matches are hopelessly sold out, but for those who want to travel to Kaze Progressa anyway, call Therewegoes Travel Agency at 3-18-357-9009. Kaze Progressa is a sport lover’s paradise as there are many sports familiar and unfamiliar that one can check out. However, the nation is very windy as well as cheesy, so be ready for that.

The Bedistan Sports Digest

Don't EVER Do That Again
We thought you'd crash and burn!

VILITA -- Things looked very bleak for the Lions as they headed into their final match of the first round. Bedistan sat in a position they are not normally accustomed to, being at the bottom of the Group B table with one lousy point from Raptor Claw and Kingsford. With a win over Cockbill Street being necessary to move on, most thought we hadn't a prayer. It was time for the Hail Mary, as Kingsfordian football enthusiasts often say.

Bedistan made no changes to the usual starting formation, even though Dave al-Armani was still recovering from a minor training injury. Cockbill Street also used its usual 4-4-2, though Benjamin Cribbage would gain a starting spot in favor of Lars Fearinciter on the back line.

Cockbill Street came out swinging, knowing that the same condition that would allow Bedistan to go through (a Lions victory) would knock the Streeters out. Alan City forward Rikki Stone received the ball in the second minute on a pass from Thorgeirr Axewielder and put just enough English on his shot for the ball to whizz by Hank Paulsen and into the net. Unfortunately for Cockbill Street, Axewielder had been in an offside position and the otherwise perfect goal was disallowed.

After that, the first half became much more quiet, with fewer attacks from both sides. One such attack did come from the Lions near the half-hour mark, and it resulted in a corner kick. Left wing back Ian Hammond took the kick, and central midfielder Nick Yu did his part, heading the ball over Jonathan Havell's head and into the net for one-nil.

The score was still 1-0 at halftime, and the score of the other Group B match was also displayed, as it would determine which of Kingsford or Raptor Claw would proceed to the second round. At halftime, it was still nil-all.

Not long into the second half, the crowd became shocked upon learning that Raptor Claw had taken the 1-0 lead over top-ten-ranked Kingsford. Feeling the chance for the ultimate upset -- both lower-ranked nations moving on and both higher-ranked not -- Cockbill Street felt suddenly rejuvenated and went on the attack again. There were a few scares for Bedistan as Paulsen was forced to make two hurried saves, but coach Mike Davidson finally got the message and made some changes, including taking out captain Jackson Reinhardt and putting in defender Moses Harris to produce a 5-4-1, about as close to a System Karela as a Bedistani national team would ever get. The Street began to tire against this newly bolstered defense even as Raptor Claw managed their second goal. Stein Hammerhock would make one last chance for the Street, but Carl Chang successfully dispossessed him and averted the threat, securing Bedistan's next second round appearance.

Final score:
Bedistan 1 (Yu 31)
Cockbill Street 0

[Also in Group B: Raptor Claw 2-0 Kingsford]

So there's the good news. Now for the bad news: Our second-round opponent is none other than...brace yourself...Liverpool England. LE's name is synonymous with kryptonite for the Lions historically, at least for those old enough to remember World Cups 8 and 9. The Liverpudlians know this too, and one publication has even found the guts to predict that the #28 Philosophers will defeat #3 Bedistan in their matchup. The taste of revenge is oh so sweet, though, and you can bet the Lions will not take this test lying down.

(ooc: total lack of inspiration)

Elin Ri: That is the final whistle, the Orange-Blues lost 0-2 against One Red Dot. Congratulations to Tsubasu Ohzora and Yoshi Matsumoto. Rejistania is now eliminated with only one victory and only three points. Back to the studio! (he doesn't realize that he is still heard, so he continues in majuvedan) Time to try to get drunk! For Slani's sake, they don't even have good strong booze in Kaze! Gah, I hope I can find the dealer of the hooch from Abysmalistan!

Sirake Tekim: (in english) Better not! It gives you a terrible headache!

Elin Ri (more than slightly angry): Gojin*, we are eliminated, I need to get drunk! Nothing against Progressans, but their booze is as bad as the defense of Ravea, it's merely water which only smells like alcohol! And this slani switch does not work!

Sirake Tekim: I thought you had problems with routers and hubs, not with switches.

Elin Ri: I mean a mechanical switch. The one on my microphone! (a sound is heard, we can not make out what exactly Elin Ri did, but aparently violence was involved)

Sirake Tekim: (sad) I think every word said is a word too much. ("Add N to X - B.P. Perino"** is played)

(When the song comes to the part where the computerized voice says: "I'll be your silver, your silver X" a strange loud noise is heard)
Elin Ri: (who caused the noise) We are in the round of 16! They just showed the group table! We are through with only 3 points! Through on goal difference! (screams of joy)

Sirake Tekim: Don't try this abysmali drugs ever again!

Elin Ri: I did not take any drugs!

Sirake Tekim: Well, apparently, you have hallucinations!

Elin Ri: I don't!

Sirake Tekim: (suddently starts shouting) JIIIIIIEEEEEE! I see the results on the ASR-site, The Orange-Blues are through!!!!!

*the mild form of the majuvedian expletive 'gojna', just like 'darn' is related to 'damn'.
** one of the saddest songs, which I know OOCly

Le LIBRE

Shocked

Match Day 3 proved to definitely be the deciding factor for all 4 teams. Les Bleus and Squornshelous were expected to advance as the top teams in the group. For this final match, Les Bleus felt as if they had 1st in the bag, and there would be no problem. Still, Eauz fans though were not being allowed into the stadium let alone the country, aside from about 50 fans. In the past, Les Bleus have relied on their fans to give them the support they need for their victories. This time, Les Bleus would have to look deep inside them to get to the final. For the second straight match, Les Bleus had a Vilitan referee team for the match which was played at The Shultis in Lonngeylin, Vilita. Jutaoi Linuao and his team were ranked below average on strictness and a bit better than fair on calling a fair match. Les Bleus would have to hope that this referee wouldn’t be like the last one who was blind to many calls.

For the 3rd straight match, fans booed Les Bleus as they came on the field, many throwing things on the field. Police had to calm the fans down, thus the match was a bit delayed. The whistle blew, and Les Bleus were on their way with the ball. Vasser brought it up the side, setting up for a pass. A high pass went towards the net, but was knocked out of the way by an LE defender. Les Bleus knew that they had to keep the pressure on LE if they were to have any chance. It was notable though that up to this match, the LE offence has been a no show, with 0 goals for and 0 goals against, something was bound to occur. Les Bleus though were dominant in the first half, as they let go of 10 shots on goal and a total of 15. During the 32nd minute of play, Rousoi sent a long pass down field, where Vasser was. Vasser took the ball and passed it to Alia. Alia saw Vasser open, passing it back to Vasser. A shot was taken, going into the top left corner of the net giving Les Bleus a 1 – 0 lead. For Les Bleus, this appeared to be another day on the field, and with the lead, they assumed they had secured a position in the next round. Rousoi was bairly challenged in this first half as the closest came when a long shot went off the crossbar and into the possession of Guillaume Ulfston. Up to this point, it is notable that the referee was doing the job it was rated at. As the first half ended, Les Bleus were up 1 – 0 and this started to get to their head, that they would be sailing right to the final 4 again.

The second half started with fans still booing Les Bleus. Les Bleus regained the ball and kept on the pressure with some close chances. A close shot was taken by Alia, but was stopped by the LE keeper. The keeper sent a quick kick down field, where a few of the LE attackers were waiting. With only 2 defenders back, Les Bleus were in a bit of a jam. A pass to Douglas Freech, a star LE player saw him kick it into the open net tying the match up a 1 – 1 at the 48th minute of play. With Les Bleus back in possession, a controversial play, where Gabrielle was in control of the ball, when an LE mid-fielder knocked her over without touching the ball. No whistle was blown, and the LE attackers went on the offence. Freech once again was given the ball, as he tricked out some of the Eauz players sending a high kick towards the net. The ball sailed past the reach of Rousoi and into the net, putting LE up 2 – 1. Les Bleus who thought were sailing on calm seas were now finding themselves down 2 – 1. The coach became nervous, and called a time out at the 60th minute of play to calm down their guys and get their minds out of the lazy mode. Going back on the field, Les Bleus regained control of the ball and their game. They started putting pressure on the LE defence again, as they bombarded the LE keeper with shots. Most of the shots were blocked though or went out of play. During the 78th minute of play, Les Bleus got their 4th corner of the match, sending it towards the group. Alia jumped in the air, but was pushed a bit, falling to the floor. No call was given though, and an LE defender took control of the ball. Moving to the other end, LE was attacking, with a long shot from the right side of the field. Rousoi blocked it but was unable to hold onto it, and who else but Freech was there scoring his 3rd goal of the evening. Les Bleus were shocked and in protest at the fact that they were down 3 – 1, especially after all the possible chances they had that the referee ignored. The match finished with the LE keeper in control of the ball. He kicked the ball, and the whistle blew, giving LE the victory over the defending champions Eauz.

Eauz players could only hold their heads in shame as they knew that they let it all slip through their hands the last 2 matches, after their first match day 3 – 2 victory. The other surprise victory by Dance 2 Revolution meant that the 2 surprise teams of the group would go on to the next round, Leaving 2 of the best teams out of the next round of the cup.


Group A
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Liverpool England 5 1 2 0 3:1 2
2. Dance 2 Revolution 4 1 1 1 6:5 1
3. Eauz 4 1 1 1 5:6 -1
4. Squornshelous 2 0 2 1 3:5 -2



OCC: This is crazy, I can’t believe that going into the last match day, the two teams who were expected to take this group were eliminated by scores of 3 – 1 and 4 – 2, especially when LE had 0 GF coming into this match, and the fact that Squorn and I actually posted some pretty good RP’s. Anyways, I protest this result, even though I know nothing will be changed. I demand an investigation into the scorinator!

OCC: Anyways, I protest this result, even though I know nothing will be changed. I demand an investigation into the scorinator!

You're not the first to, after TEN did the same earlier on. I guess that's Vil's way of taking revenge for WC15 :P (This was of course meant as a joke)

OCC: This is crazy, I can’t believe that going into the last match day, the two teams who were expected to take this group were eliminated by scores of 3 – 1 and 4 – 2, especially when LE had 0 GF coming into this match, and the fact that Squorn and I actually posted some pretty good RP’s. Anyways, I protest this result, even though I know nothing will be changed. I demand an investigation into the scorinator!

Calm down Eauuz, you know, random numbers are random. Every host has some moments where he feels like kicking his scorinator for that, for example when a great RPer keeps on losing (yeah Vilita, WC13) or a favorite gets eliminated. Well, bite in your mouse, stomp on the ground, destroy cheap(!!) things and then go on for WC18. C'est la vie!

-------------------------The new Staff includes an international stars team made up of star players residing in less known nations, excelling in a sport ahead of their time, but not getting the chance to impress on the World Stage. The team, being sponsored by Vilitan based 3wide.com Designs; will be basing out of Strike FC's training facility in Lonngeylin. Led by Ailati National Coach Tiziano Milani, the team will train side by side with the Vilitan National team and each training day will conclude with a 45 minute training match. Other notable names on the squad are USAnian goalkeeper Stanton Stover, and Al Quds goalkeeper Helenio Roman. Three notable forwards, Ravenspire's Ippolit Bekishev, Novvs Atlantis' Joseph Lammertink and Salmantic's Samuel Nafiger will be up against Vilita's Jimmy Kater in a diverse arrangement of shot taking. The midfield battles will be fought by USAnia's Richard Moore and Carl Mullins, Crosshills Kresten Selvig and Salmantic's Giuseppe Di Franco. Jurassica's Rik Kalsbeek will hold up the defense, alongside Runaway Moose's Chip Wiggins and Helmut Peters. Brazillicos Carols Daniel Ruarte and Jurassica's Izso Hargitai and Akis Soufleris will round out the lineup of 3wide.com's All-Stars hosted by Strike FC.
[/color]


The USAnian minister of information George W. Bush vehemently denies that Stanton Stover, Richard Moore and Carl Mullins are still alive. "We saw the images, they died in a horrible car crash! The rumour that they left our most glorious nation for an evil capitalist nothing for which 'country' would be a flattering compliment is nothing but a lie! A false lie!"

[/propaganda]
OOC: Sorry, couldn't resist!

Raptors Claw through Finals

The Raptors have qualified for their first World Cup finals after many times of trying. The Raptors previously were the closest coming to being in World Cup Finals in the World Cup 15. The Raptors were in the lead of the Group with Jeruselem but lost at the end and did not even make the Final.

For Raptor Claws first ever final they had to have been selected to play with many of the good and best teams in the World Cup. The Raptors first have had to be the team to play against Bedistan who are very good. Then the Raptors would next have to play against Cockbill Street. Cockbill Street is our friend and we have hosted tournament Harmony Cup before with the Cockbill Street. They are still better than the Raptors. Raptor Claw would then after this have to play one final match against another really good team this is the team that is Kingsford.

The Raptors were expected not to do well in this tournament after being claimed as the worst team in the group. It is not true this because the Raptors were also only a low team in the qualifying but we finish ahead of Europa Brittania and The Belmore Family and Tanah Burung. This prove to the Raptors that they can do well no matter who they play no matter what prediction else nations have made.

The Raptors prove that they are not the worst when they play Bedistan on the first match. Bedistan is very good of a team and the Raptors hold the Bedistan Lions to a 0-0 draw. The match it was played in the country of Vilita. It is the second time the Raptors have been in the Vilita we play there in the World Cup 16. We do better this time with draw against Bedistan and prove that we are not the worst.

The Raptors win very nicely against the Cockbill Street. The win it was important to the Raptors and Raptor Claw had just one more game to play. The Cockbill Street have already reported and it is nice that Maki Narun and Ranni Naroun have scored goals for Raptor Claw they are good players and it is nice that they have been selected to be goalscorers for the Raptors. The Raptors must to have played very well against the Cockbill Street and it was very important to win. If the Raptors did not beat the Cockbill Street they would need to have a win against Kingsford who is better.

The Raptors win against Kingsford anyway. This was the thid match for the Raptors in the World Cup finals and i think Runni Nondaside scored two goals in this game which is why the Raptors were able to win by scoring two goals when the Kingsford was not able to score. It is a very good for the Raptors to beat the Kingsford and we have finished in the place to play in the next round

The Raptors will play in the next round against the Dance 2 Revolution. They have a funny name but we will not hold that against them. The Raptors will hope to win this match and play further in the World Cup.


p.s. the apology for delay I not access computer in away but return now

OOC: Seeing as last time I posted, my fantastic straight run of wins was interrupted by a straight run of losses that almost put me out of the cup, I think you can excuse me for not posting (that and the thousands of kilometres I've been travelling without net access... I'm in Canada now.) However, I just felt the need to post for once ;)

Latest Headlines in Spaam

Spaam Sports Weekly: Spaam Stay Constant To Top Group

Spaam Morning Herald: Critics Doubtful Spaam Can Topple Host Vilita

Spaam Telegraph: People Rejoice As Eauz Are Kicked Out Of Cup

Spaam Sun: Government Officials Say RP Machine Still Not Working

Spaam Catholic Monthly: Fanatics Praying For Spaam VS TnUI Final

OOC: Oh, and Eauz? STFU. This is the World Cup, and I have been through worse than this. Stop being a bad sport.

OOC: Oh, and Eauz? STFU. This is the World Cup, and I have been through worse than this. Stop being a bad sport.


Obviously, you missed out on the sarcasm in my post... Too bad too :(

The Bedistan Sports Digest

Margaret be Damned
Still no World Cup for Bedistan

VILITA -- Liverpool England 1 - 0 Bedistan.

Nothing more need be said.

Good luck to the half-decent teams participating in the World Cup quarterfinals, like Starblaydia and Melmond.

As for us, we'll just head back home with our tail between our legs and continue to mourn our third knockout round loss to LE in as many meetings.

See you in World Cup 18.

Revennnnge, I tell ye!
First TB, then NEWI, now EB

Remember that golden summer, eight years previous, when a team of young bloods from Starblaydia stepped out in the bright Insanician sun to represent their country in its first ever Football Tournament? The incredible 3rd Under-21 World Cup, where Starblaydia's debut match was against the might of Europa Brittania.

Remember how Simeone Di Bradini scored our first international goal, and Ricky Torino's gorgeous twenty-three yard free kick made it two? Never forget, either, the atrocious defending that let in four goals as Starblaydia crashed to defeat. Well, buddy, consider this match Revenge. As the temperature dropped and the wind howled, Starblaydia learned that Revenge is a Dish Best Served in Kaze Progressa, with a Side Order of Extra-Time.

"Well, we've never failed to score two goals against them," commented Simeone Di Bradini after the game, "and I've scored in every, well, both games I've played against them."

Not a bad record at all. And the other Record? Starblaydia are in the Quarter-Finals. The Last Eight. Of the World Cup. (17th). It was Michael Hawthorne's first goal of the campaign that got Starblaydia's party started after twenty minutes, the outside of his left boot connecting on the edge of the area with a Carter pass. Jubilation throughout the nation.

That wonderfulness, however, was downplayed somewhat as Europa Brittania rightly equalised after a sustained period of dominance, with their game seemingly hitting the heights of old in skill, speed and agression. Starblaydia were holding on by the proverbial skin of their teeth and were glad for the whistle after the ninety-plus-a-few minutes. After fluid intake, stretches, hyping-up chats and the odd magic sponge or two, Starblaydia were ready to face the Europa Onslaught once more.

The two-ing-and-fro-ing continued for nearly all of the thirty-minute Extra Time, despite no-one knowing what 'two-ing' or 'fro-ing' is. Whatever it was, the Two-ing was an omen for Starblaydia, and Simeone Di Bradini in particular. Just 19 years old in that tournament eight years ago (which would make him 27, for all the mathematically-challenged out there), he scored against Europa Brittania in that defeat and he provided the winner this time.

As a last-chance all-out-attack from the Brittanians was broken up by a great interception from Spike Martin, Starblaydia's captain. He robbed the ball from the on-rushing stiker who flung himself into the penalty area, receiving a 5.8 from the Starblaydi judge and a cry of 'Play-on! Advantage Purple' from the Referee. Knocking the ball forward to Rastian Salaam, the left-back surged down the left-hand side and passed forward to Ahmed Ol-wairain. Holding it up in the middle for a few moments, he lofted it over the top for Simeone Di Bradini, who had found the energy for one last sprint.

Having timed his run to perfection, with the last defender screaming, unjustifiably, for offside, it took just one faked-shot to send the 'keeper onto his rear end and leave the goal wide, wide open for the simplest of tap-ins.

Spreading his arms out to the side, Simeone just ran. As the Starblaydi fans went absolutely crazy with the last kick of the last minute of Extra Time, the whistle went for the final time, and Starblaydia had won, and (kaze) progressed-a to the Quarter-Finals. Simeone hadn't stopped running 'til his entire team had enveloped him with embraces and dragged him onto their shoulders.

Melmond, here we come.

Final Score:
Europa Brittania 1 - 2 Starblaydia
(Kaenai 74) - (Hawthorne 21, S. Di Bradini 120 )

We humbly take the role of WC2002 Korea-Japan´s Swedish side and allow the underdog nation in their first world cup to move on. Congrats Melmond and we will see you next time : )

Although if you follow the correct sequence for Senegals run, you´d unfortunately have to lose the next game

We did it.

We did?

Yep.

Well had to happen sometime. What's the record now?

Played 9, won 3.

That's still pretty bad.

We are the Scotland of the Second Round.

We aren't that bad. Do you have the list?

I've got it right here.

World Cup 17 - Top
Second Round Quarter Finals Semi Final

Liverpool England (28) -----
| Liverpool England (28) -----
Bedistan (3) --------------- |
| ----------------------------
Spaam (16) ----------------- |
| Vilita (14) ----------------
Vilita (14) ----------------

Raptor Claw (48) -----------
| Dance 2 Revolution (47) ----
Dance 2 Revolution (47) ---- |
| ----------------------------
Total n Utter Insanity (7) - |
| Total n Utter Insanity (7) -
The Eagles Nest (4) --------

World Cup 17 - Bottom
Second Round Quarter Finals Semi Final

Europa Brittania (5) -------
| Starblaydia (46) -----------
Starblaydia (46) ----------- |
| ----------------------------
Svecia (18) ---------------- |
| Melmond (42) ---------------
Melmond (42) ---------------

Audioslavia (6) ------------
| Aquiliana (69) -------------
Aquiliana (69) ------------- |
| ----------------------------
Kaze Progressa (20) -------- |
| Rejistania (2) -------------
Rejistania (2) -------------

The ASholes lost? Hahaha.

Bedistan too.

What's the word on the street?

The Insanicians should make the semis, but will probably lose to the hosts. Rejistania are tipped to pickup their second trophy.

Let's just keep our fingers crossed and our wallets open.

We Won, We Did It: Philosophers Now 3-1-0 in Finals vs Bedistan

Amazingly, the prediction that we gave of the Liverpool England [ranked 28] - Bedistan [ranked 3rd] match came true - Liverpool England have beaten Bedistan to secure their third win in three attempts in the knockout rounds. Bedistan, who were beaten in World Cup 8 (3-1, Final), World Cup 9 (2-1, Third Place Playoff), and drew in World Cup 10 (0-0, Group Stage), secured an early 'lead' in the fifth minute when Dominic Dirosa, retiring after this World Cup, pulled . In the crowd to watch the match were Darren Morlock, scorer of Bedistan's World Cup 9 Third Place Playoff goal, and FALE chief and former team captain Paul Dussis.

Timothy Dennard finding the back of the net with some help from the crossbar on 32 minutes, putting the underdogs up 1-0. This was to be the final scoreline, and later one could see Morlock shaking his head in the stands. Liverpool England next play cohosts Vilita.

New Predictions:
Quarter Finals
Liverpool England over Vilita
Total n Utter Insanity over Dance 2 Revolution
Starblaydia over Melmond
Rejistania over Aquiliana

Semi Finals
Total n Utter Insanity over Liverpool England
Rejistania over Starblaydia

Final
Total n Utter Insanity to finally win a cup.

"Only 2 Favorites Won?"

Yeah. Year of the underdog so far.

"Wow."

Oh well, where's the next cup?

"I don't know yet. Not sure when I send my vote in."

You get a vote?

"yeah."

Well, think we'll have a better offense next cup?

"I hope so. this year was dismal."

Yeah.

"yeah."

Yeah.

"WILL YOU STOP WITH THE YEAH's???"

Yeah...I will.

"Only 2 Favorites Won?"

Hmmm..... Vilita, Dance 2 Revolution, Rejistania... That's 3 right there :P

Previous Papers (Pre-2nd Round MD3 Paper)

They can STILL do it!

The results have to be specific...but it CAN happen

It's been a rollercoaster ride over the last few days for the Revolutionaries. It all started in Oglethorpia, the Play-off match.

Play-Offs

Dance 2 Revolution travelled to Oglethorpia for a chance to play in the 2nd Round again, something which had never occured in D2R International History. It was a nervous occasion for the travelling D2R fans. D2R did overcome the Oglethorpian's, with a 1-0 win and Maeda playing his 100th cap and, typically, scoring and being sent off.

Draw Night

It didn't take long for D2R to know what group they would be in, as they were the 1st drawn team. Being placed in Group A along-side Liverpool England, Squornshelous and World-Champions Eauz. And with this D2R felt they had been put into a group of death...but not many other groups would have been much better.

2nd Group Stage Day 1

This is the match D2R fans looked forward too and dreaded all at the same time. Eauz took on Dance 2 Revolution in Vilita, the first match after the Opening Ceremony just to make it even more of a special match. The spectacle happened to be a goal-fest and a narrow win for Eauz as they overcame the Revolutionaries, just, with a full time scoreline of 3-2.

2nd Group Stage Day 2

This was the pride-match for D2R. Playing both co-bidder's for the cup in the very same cup. After playing Bedistan in the Qualifiers' and going 0-0-2 against them, the last thing they needed was to collapse against Liverpool England and go 0-0-3. Liverpool England Head Coach Sirx hadn't shown much attacking minded play during their 0-0 draw with Squornshelous, and did exactly the same against D2R, not much attack, and when they did the D2R defense easily took control. It was a game of very little chances and even fewer goals. The game ended 0-0 and this left D2R with a chance of qualifying

Now D2R travel to Squornsheolous. D2R have to win to qualify, and there are a few possibilities that will put the Revolutionaries through:
Liverpool England can draw and Revolutionaries win(D2R and Eauz through)
Eauz and D2R both win(D2R and Eauz Through)
Liverpool England win and D2R Win(D2R must win by 2 clear goals)(D2R and Liverpool England through)

Everythings backwards in Aquiliana my wa-hay, WELL FUCK ME!
Even bastardised Offspring songs cant save the 'slaves --------------------------------------------
| 1 |
| Fenwick |
| 2 4 20 6 |
| Pearce Romanov Johnstone O`Rourke |
| |
| 18 8 |
| Tessem Tanner |
| 7 11 |
| Johansen 14 Jaynes |
| Marriot |
| |
| 9 |
| Bracken |
--------------------------------------------
| Auguratius Cuniculus |
| 21 10 |
| Præfrigidi |
| Flögel 22 Haesit |
| 7 Carbasus 14 |
| 11 |
| |
| Messor Girillo Marcos |
| 2 5 13 |
| Ancora |
| 6 |
| Marmoreus |
| 1 |
--------------------------------------------

In a topsy-turvy second round, Audioslavia were one of the many teams to get turned over by the underdogs.

The match started well enough for Audioslavia. After six minutes Alexander Marriot sprinted through a gap in the defence and smashed the ball past Marmoerus to get the first goal of the game, and Audioslavia's 400th goal in their history. Twenty odd minutes of pressure followed where the 'slaves attempted to make up for a shoddy performance against The Lowland Clans. Marriot almost scored again as he pounced on a loose ball in the area but saw his shot charged down by Ancora. Tessem diverted a Johansen cross onto the top of the bar, and Aidey Jaynes almost scored the goal of the tournament as he faked a cross from the left, instead cutting inside the full back Marcos, nutmegging Girillo but shooting well wide of the target.

With the cracking opening half-hour and the milestone goal, fate had decided that Audioslavia would defeat all-comers and go to the final of the seventeenth world cup.

Aquiliana had decided that fate knew fuck-all. The newcomers not giving two shits about history, fate and shit like that. The bastards.

The backlash started with a Haesit corner, a Messor header and an Audioslavian net rippling with shock, dissapointment, but mostly a big white ball displaying the word "cunted!".

Aquiliana ripped into the 'slaves throughout the last minutes of the first half, with Cuniculus coming closest out of an array of chances, bringing the ball down expertly, nipping past Johnstone, chipping the ball over the advancing Fenwick but seeing his shot slice away to hit the far post and bounce out of play.

The second half saw Aquiliana out-play the 'slaves in midfield and take the game by the scruff of the neck. Cuniculus again saw a shot hit the post and Auguratius came close with a long-range hit which grazed the top of the bar.

The 'slaves only began to re-take control of the game in the dying moments. Marriot again had the better chance as Bracken sliced a shot badly away to the right where the young number 14 was waiting to volley the ball, only for Marmoreus to be well positioned to smother it.

Bracken was woefully bad during the second half, seeming to lose faith as time and time again he was crowded out or disposessed by a white shirt. By eighty-five minutes he'd been substitued for James Laver, along with Calem O`Rourke who made way for ex-captain Jens Rep.

The best chance of the final minutes of the game fell to Aquiliana, countering after another fruitless Audioslavia attack. Cuniculus and Haesit exchanged passes down the right, Haesit beat Rep for pace and crossed for Auguratius who was arriving in the box. The striker let fly and full pelt but keeper Haydn Fenwick somehow got across and beat the ball over the bar for the best save the keeper will probably ever make. The resulting corner was pretty much wasted by the Falcons as Rep cleared to the tune of the final whistle. Audioslavia were about to go into extra-time.

Compared to the fast-paced, exciting match, the first period of extra time was abysmal. Both sides not wanting to concede and so playing as conservatively as possible. Neither side created a good chance in the half, but the second half saw Audioslavia gradually take the upper hand, buoyed on by their final substition, William Ryder coming on for midfielder Jodey Tessem. Aquiliana too made two substituions. A tiring Girillo came off in exchange for Mendax Rodriges, whilst 34-year old Istic Præfrigidi was replaced by a striker Resupo Cornix.

Audioslavia's substituion was very close to having immediate effect, as Ryder pounded the cross-bar with a superb shot, but it was Aquiliana who broke the deadlock. Cornix and Cuniculus played off each other beautifully on the edge of the area resulting in Cuniculus being put through by a well-placed chip and finishing past Fenwick for 2-1

The goal took what little wind there was out of Audioslavia's sails and the 'slaves seemed devoid of an answer. Ryder and Laver found it impossible to penetrate the Aquiliana defence which held strong and, with the exception of an Ally Marriot strike which sailed over the bar, Audioslavia were never going to get back in contention.

As the final whistle blew several Audioslavians left the stadium disgusted at the 'slaves, a few others sat and stared at the dancing white shirts on the field and the other side of the stadium. Either way, Audioslavia were out, and Aquiliana had become the joint-most succesful new-nation in history.

FINAL SCORE
AQUILIANA 2-1 AUDIOSLAVIA (AET)
Messor 31 6 Marriot
Cuniculus 113

Quarter Final Preview, Starblaydia are In It!
Featuring the Return of the Cartoon Character Comparisons!

Here we come, walking down the street, we get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey-hey we're Starblaydia, and we're in the Quarter-Finals of World Cup 17.

So, without further ado, though that suggests there had been some ado going on previously, we present the World Cup 17 Quarter-Final Preview, from the guys at SCB Sports.

Team: Liverpool England
World Ranking: 28th
How they Qualified:
Group 5 Results:
Pos Nation P W D L GF-GA Pts GD
[2] Liverpool England 14 9 4 1 30-12 31 +18

Their Group A Results:
Pos Nation P W D L GF-GA Pts GD
[1] Liverpool England 3 1 2 0 3-1 5 +2

Prediction: No Further than the Quarters
If they were a cartoon character they'd be: Daffy Duck. If things don't go their way, expect them to get tetchy.
http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/daffy.jpg



Team: Vilita
World Ranking: 14th
How they Qualified:
Automatically as Co-hosts

Their Group D Results:
Pos Nation P W D L GF-GA Pts GD
[2] Vilita 3 1 1 1 3-3 4 0

Prediction: Semi-Finalists, then top 3
If they were a cartoon character they'd be: Yanky Doodle Pigeon. Everyone wants a pop at them, but they always get away with the goods
http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/pigeon.jpg



Team: Total n Utter Insanity
World Ranking: 7th
How they Qualified:
Group 1 Results:
Pos Nation P W D L GF-GA Pts GD
[1] Total n Utter Insanity 14 10 3 1 28-11 33 +17

Their Group D Results:
Pos Nation P W D L GF-GA Pts GD
[1] Total n Utter Insanity 3 2 1 0 8-4 7 +4

Prediction: All the Way to the final
If they were a cartoon character they'd be: Professor X. Always sorting out the squabbling children, is now the time to show their powers?
http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/ProfX.jpg



Team: Dance 2 Revolution
World Ranking: 47th
How they Qualified:
Group 8 Results:
Pos Nation P W D L GF-GA Pts GD
<4> Dance 2 Revolution 14 7 1 6 29-23 22 +6

Play-off:
Oglethorpia 0-1 Dance 2 Revolution

Their Group A Results:
Pos Nation P W D L GF-GA Pts GD
[2] Dance 2 Revolution 3 1 1 1 6-5 4 +1

Prediction: This is as far as they're getting
If they were a cartoon character they'd be: Kermit the Frog. They *say* they can dance, but can we see them prove it?
http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/kermit.jpg



Team: Starblaydia
World Ranking: 46th
How they Qualified:
Group 9 Results:
Pos Nation P W D L GF-GA Pts GD
<4> Starblaydia 14 8 3 3 30-14 27 +16

Play-off:
Tanah Burung 0 Starblaydia 1

Their Group F Results:
Pos Nation P W D L GF-GA Pts GD
[2] Starblaydia 3 1 0 2 4-3 3 +1

Prediction: Onward to the Semis, then 4th?
If they were a cartoon character they'd be: Donatello. With a penchant for purple, they give out a lot of stick to their competitors
http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/donatello.jpg



Team: Melmond
World Ranking: 42nd
How they Qualified:
Group 3 Results:
Pos Nation P W D L GF-GA Pts GD
[2] Melmond 14 8 3 3 33-15 27 +18

Their Group H Results:
Pos Nation P W D L GF-GA Pts GD
[2] Melmond 3 1 1 1 3-2 4 +1

Prediction: No further than the Quarters.
If they were a cartoon character they'd be: The Tick. The best thing ever, perhaps in their own mind.
http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/tick.jpg



Team: Rejistania
World Ranking: 2nd
How they Qualified:
Group 10 Results:
Pos Nation P W D L GF-GA Pts GD
[1] Rejistania 14 11 2 1 44-10 35 +34

Their Group G Results:
Pos Nation P W D L GF-GA Pts GD
[2] Rejistania 3 1 0 2 6-4 3 +2

Prediction: Finalists with another title?
If they were a cartoon character they'd be: Velma. Her speech and tactics may be confused, but she'll always be on the winning side.
http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/velma.jpg



Team: Aquiliana
World Ranking: 69th
b]How they Qualified:[/b]
Group 5 Results:
Pos Nation P W D L GF-GA Pts GD
<4> Aquiliana 14 5 5 4 23-23 20 0

Play-off:
Lovisa 1 Aquiliana 2

Their Group E Results:
Pos Nation P W D L GF-GA Pts GD
[2] Aquiliana 3 2 0 1 2-1 6 +1

Prediction: Crushed by the Orange-Blues
If they were a cartoon character they'd be: Huey, Dewey, or Louey. Often confused with others who's name sounds very similar, this tiny guy has appeared from nowhere to take the world by storm.
http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/ducktales.jpg

Previous Papers (2nd Round MD3 Paper)

Oh You KNOW they did it!

D2R fly to Final 16 with shocker results.

D2R effectively eliminate Eauz as a final surge by LE and The Revolutionaries shocks the footballing world to leave the two favorites for the Final 16 out and turns the table on its virtual head. The final match-day was to decide who in Group A would move to the Final 16. Maeda came back from his 2 match ban for his Red Card received in Oglethorpia. Squornshelous and Eauz were very confident of their qualification. But after leaks from the Vilitian media that an expert Eauz predictor predicted that D2R would win the cup, there was a buzz around the D2R camp in Vilita.

The match started with D2R kicking off. Maeda, desperate to make up for lost time, had an instant impact with a delicious 25 yard strike.

Squornshelous saw this as an insult and started at Dance 2 Revolution right from the off. Hammering at the D2Rian defense and goal. <9> got a result in the 9th minute from a picture-perfect cross by <7> and Squornshelous had drawn back level in almost instantaneous fashion.

Squornshelous continued this pressing mentality through the next 10 minutes and in this time <9> hit the back of the net again in spectacular style, volleying into the top corner with his back to goal.

Squornshelous now decided to lay back and slowed the tempo down to a minimal, passing the ball back and forth through their back-line and staying deep, not venturing outside their own half. Hentea did manage to intercept one of the passes in the 36th minute, and then proceeded to be desperately hacked down in the box. It was an obvious penalty…one that was given. Maeda stepped up and thumped the ball onto the underside of the bar, and before actually going in, hitting the woodwork a total of 7 times. 2-2

When the second half resumed, D2R went to kill the match off. 9 minutes in. Van Mushruum scored a cheeky back-heel from just outside the 6 yard box. Putting it through his marker’s and the goalkeeper’s legs. The scoreboard read: Dance 2 Revolution 3 – 2 Squornshelous.

The game looked dead, with D2R looking to take the points and the ball seemingly stuck in the middle of the pack. Maeda took control, ran the length of the pitch and took the ball past the keeper, running it into the net and the game was all but over. They thought it was all over…and they were right.

Final Score:
Dance 2 Revolution 4(Maeda 1’, 37’(p), 80’, Van Mushruum 54’)
Squornshelous 2(<9> 8’, 17’)

Now the Revolutionaries waited for the result of Eauz – Liverpool England. And when it came there was a great cheer. Liverpool England had defeated Eauz 3-1. Liverpool England and Dance 2 Revolution had eliminated the World Champions in the 2nd group stage.

The Final Table looked like this:

Group A
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Liverpool England 5 1 2 0 3:1 2
2. Dance 2 Revolution 4 1 1 1 6:5 1
3. Eauz 4 1 1 1 5:6 -1
4. Squornshelous 2 0 2 1 3:5 -2

Dance 2 Revolution will play Raptor Claw, who won their group, in the Round of 16 for a place in the Quarter-Finals, uncharted territory for the Revolutionaries against either The Eagles Nest or Total n Utter Insanity, not an easy match in any means.

DEFEAT BUT NOT DISPAIR: Epic match sees Progressans pushed out in extra-time

In one of the great matches in World Cup history, Kaze Progressa sent a highly partisan near-100,000 capacity crowd on the edge of delerium before a spirited Rejistanian fightback saw them take a 4-3 victory in extra-time.

The scary ride saw both teams lead in the first half; on six minutes, Cavinski Cozii-Danila's 35-yard free-kick took the merest of deflections off the wall on its way into the roof of the net, almost taking the newly-rebuilt roof of the stadium off with it owing to the noise from the fans; just five minutes later, Rejistanian captain Nxeni Venu responded with a long-range daisycutter of his own, bouncing off the ground beyond Fayu Fanzuhu. Then it was the turn of two members of the Alan City revolution to show their influence: Hiki Suny mopped up a goalmouth melee with a thunderous shot on 31 minutes, but Bartaz Borapi nodded home from a corner four minutes later.

Sani Luvo then scored on the hour to send the Progressans back in the lead, and for twenty-seven minutes the dreams of a nation were brightly shining, astonishingly alive. But it was substitute Jenji Y who ruined them, first with a looping header from Venu's lofted diagonal pass in the 87th minute, then - after Luvo had been denied by a remarkable save from Ninu Juru just seconds earlier - thumping home from 25 yards on a counter attack four minutes from the end.

The dreams finally died when Juru made another super save from a Cozii-Danila free kick eerily similar to the opening goal right at the end. It was the final touch of the game, and of the Progressan run. But after the ignominious opening, just getting here was a dream.

Arc de Triumph
Torrini’s Famous Corner Kick Advances Melmond in 2-1 Win
By Henry Kalangalangalang of the Melmond City Herald

TAQIZERR, KAZE PROGRESSA—The word of this knockout match, or the closely related words of this match were arc and arch. This is because first of all, the stadium which this match is being played in, Gateway Arena in Taqizerr. I must say this is one of the most beautiful stadiums I have ever seen. I am surprised that Melmondian architects haven’t thought of this design before. A beautiful arch of lights illuminated the field and the Taqizerr skyline. I suppose this evens out the Kaze Progressans borrowing the Melmondian invention of retractable seats for stadiums which have tracks around and yet still want to have the intimate football experience. This truly was Melmond’s gateway away from futility to a force to be reckoned with.
The Fearless Farmer’s opponent was a familiar foe, arch-rival Svecia. Perhaps arch rival is a bit harsh of a word to use for the Lightning. I mean, despite the recent Melmondian success, the Oaker side is still hated. Svecia, although Melmond does have quite the history against the Lightning, has developed into a more friendly rivalry where the fans and players are fierce competitors during the match and will have a pint with each other off the pitch afterwards. Out of all these matches, this is obviously the most important between the two sides. Svecia may have the three games to two edge in the series, but Melmond got the most important victory, a 2-nil victory in the Cup of Harmony in Melmond which sent Svecia to the bottom bracket and a 9th out of 16 position.
As obviously predicted, it is a complete sellout crowd at Gateway Arena as the crowd is split three ways. The diehard Svecia supporters were in their typical gorgeous looking Aryan looking types wearing lederhosen and wooden shoes. Other Svecia supporters were wearing whatever orange they can find. They carried individually wrapped slices of Svecian cheese to remind Melmond of the last loss in Svecia in which the Melmondian press blamed the combined stench of the Svecian cheese and the rain in Vilamna for disrupting their rhythm. The second section was the Fearless Farmers faithful, all decked out in green and some in some rather ghoulish costumes such as the Fearless Farmer Fatso who was in green body paint with bib overalls, a farmer hat and a skeleton mask with a pitchfork impaling a stuffed animal version of a lightning bolt. Some shook rolls of miniwong to remind how poor Svecian currency is. The third group was native Kaze Progressans, there watching the great football match and the scoreboard closely for the Kaze Progressa-Rejistania match.
Another arc was the completing of arc as this rivalry between Melmond and Svecia was about to come full circle. The Svecian arc has been completed, having the 3 wins against Melmond out of five matches and winning the first match in Melmond’s international history. However, tonight, the Melmondian arc was to be completed by the Acosta-Audioslavia arc of defender Jonsi Torrini, who will give Melmond the third win to truly bring the history of the national team and the rivalry with Svecia full circle.
The match was very intense, but for the most part the play between the both sides was skillful and clean as very few fouls were called by the referee. However, the key words were “for the most part.” Early on, trying to make a statement, the notoriously physical Melmond defence was trying to hover and smother the Svecian attack to utter fatigue early on. However, Melmond defender Charles Unne was a bit too eager to put the pressure on as he basically leaned on Svecian striker Joel Simao to the point it looked like Charles Unne was going to climb up his back and ride him piggyback. The referee clearly saw that defence was unacceptable but there was no harm. He set the precedent by giving Charles Unne the yellow card at the 14th minute. Since then, both sides played the match rather conservatively, making the match a wide open affair.
However, both goalies, who are well known in Melmond circles, Melmond’s Snhp Xtfuinxm, arguably one of the best goalies in the world, and Svecia’s Piet van Meer, arguably the best goalkeeper in the Melmond Premier League; both played very well to counter the wide-open affair that was the first half as both made the necessary plays to keep their respective sides in the match. However, as wide open as the first half was, something was about to give.
At the 31st minute, the vaunted Melmond defence was still a bit gunshy from Charles Unne getting that yellow card. They depended more on positioning and finesse rather than contact and tight marking. This clearly wasn’t Melmond game and Xtfuinxm couldn’t bail them out the whole match. It took a Svecian striker familiar with Melmondian football to get past Xtfuinxm, and Hanan Belagt was the man to do it. After receiving a pass from Svecia midfielder Martin Kliever which found Belagt wide open well past two Melmond defenders. Belagt did a great job of dribbling getting Snhp Xtfuinxm off balance as Belagt was looking to kick to the right of Xtfuinxm so he committed to the right only for Belagt chip it over the diving Xtfuinxm toward the middle part of the net. The former Melmond Premier League star gives Svecia the lead. A sea of orange rises from its stands waving their Svecian cheese in the air in order to fan the flames of momentum.
However, the Svecian side was not going to escape the first half with a 1-nil lead. Not if brash Melmond striker Tim Remans had anything to say about it. However, the part of his head that was used was not his mouth, but the forehead as he deflects a wide shot coming from Melmond midfielder Alfred Smith into the net past the much unprepared Svecia goalkeeper Piet van Meer. Tim Remans runs around with his arms spread open as if he were ready for takeoff bobbing his head in a rather assured manner in celebration of the goal at the 43rd minute which will knot this match up at 1-1 at half time.
The refereeing of the second half seemed to be a bit more easy going, which means the theme of the match was going to get much rougher, since Melmond was ready to suffocate the Svecian attack. The Lightning were basically gridlocked by the Melmond defence as they could not find any breathing room to make a good shot or a good pass. They got off some shots on goal in desperation, but Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm had an easy time dealing with those shots.
The Melmond attack was stronger than it was in the first half, but Svecian goalkeeper Piet van Meer was amazing in the second half. The amazing wasn’t really the highlight reel style of dramatic saves, but it is the intelligent play in which he conducted himself as he scouted the Melmond attack very well. His experience playing for Lee Grays of the Melmond truly helped him as he seemed to almost read the minds of Melmond strikers Ojfssnsj Xrnym and Tim Remans, being in the place they wanted to be a split second before they could get their. However, no wall is truly impermeable. And it took five strikes of the Torrini battering ram to knock down the wall of van Meer.
Melmond earned a corner kick at the 72nd minute after a cross from Melmond midfielder Cristina Antunez was smartly deflected out of bounds by Svecia defender Anders Glock. As always, Melmond defender and captain Jonsi Torrini took the honours to take the corner kick. In his first attempt, Torrini tried his famous corner kick, the Acosta-Audioslavia arc. However, Piet van Meer was no stranger to this kick with all the times he faced it as a member of the Svecian national team as well as Lee Grays. He was able to get some fingertips on the first Acosta-Audioslavia arc to knock it out of bounds. Torrini gets another corner, and he once again tries the Acosta-Audioslavia arc, and once again van Meer thwarts Torrini’s attempt at the goal with this fingertips, knocking it out of bounds once again. Will the third time be the charm for Torrini to make a successful corner? The answer was no, but it appeared almost certain to be yes as the marker for Melmond striker Tim Remans, Svecia defender Tomas Kristiansand slipped on the pitch and Remans was wide open to make the header in. However, Svecian midfielder Pawel Forsch had the presence of mind to rush back to the goal and head it out of bounds. Torrini will get try number four, and once again he opts for the straight ahead corner kick, which is kicked past the mob and to midfielder Cristina Antunez on the opposite side of the pitch. Antunez was able to find an open Ojfssnsj Xrnym. However, Xrnym’s shot was deflected out of bounds by the sliding Svecia defender Anders Glock. Torrini will get his fifth chance to convert his corner kick. He tried two Acosta-Audioslavia arcs and two straight-forward corners, what will he try this time? He went for the famous Acosta-Audioslavia arc, and this time Piet van Meer will not lay a finger on it. Piet van Meer miscalculated the trajectory of the ball and despite leaping in no particular direction to look as if he is diving to stop the ball; he was too far from the ball in order to stop it. Torrini scores the goal on his fifth try at the corner, quite a microcosm for Melmond’s tough attempts at making the World Cup. The goal was credited at the 83rd minute for Torrini, as 11 minutes have passed since Torrini’s first corner kick. Melmond takes the 2-1 lead.
The Fearless Farmers will hang on to the 2-1 lead and bring this friendly rivalry full circle. Although the Svecian supporters as well as the Lightning themselves were dejected in losing this match, both sides congratulated each other on their tough play and shook hands and swapped jerseys. The fans stood up and made a rather polite applause in approval of the great display of sportsmanship. The Svecians left the stadium rather quietly while the Melmondians just enjoy the moment. However, there is much more to go, Melmond could get into the semi-finals. In order to do so, they will face another Cinderella story, first time World Cup participant Starblaydia. Something indeed has to give.

Goals
Belagt, SVE 31st
Remans, MEL 43rd
Torrini, MEL 83rd

Cards
Ch. Unne, MEL 14th

Standings

Quarterfinal Fixtures
Liverpool England v Vilita
Dance 2 Revolution v Total n Utter Insanity
Starblaydia v Melmond
Aquiliana v Rejistania

Team Stats
Goals: Tim Remans (2), Ojfssnsj Xrnym (1), Critandi Unne (1), Jonsi Torrini (1)
Cards: Trav Strachan (1), Charles Unne (1)

Melmond World Cup Schedule (all in Kaze Progressa)

v Commerce Heights (Westside Stadium, Gauralan) T 1-1
v Dennisov (Irafma Lakeside Arena, Quarua) W 2-0
@ Kaze Progressa (Progressair Stadium, Kaza) L 1-0
v Svecia (Gateway Arena, Taqizerr) W 2-1
v Starblaydia (Kaze Progressa)

Next Game
vs. Starblaydia (Kaze Progressa)

This is just an improbable matchup. Here we have two nations, Melmond and Starblaydia in their first ever World Cup appearance. One of these sides is going to make it to the semifinals where the least they can do is finish fourth in this worldwide tournament. The dream will have to end for one of these sides in this very entertaining and intriguing match. Most pundits in Melmond believe that Melmond are the favorites due to the fact that Melmond has the higher ranking, are more established in the WCC, and have played better throughout qualifying and the world cup final itself. However, Starblaydia is the favorite around most of the world oddly enough. This side has an amazing perseverance as they seem to climb out of the most dire holes on top. They escaped not qualifying to the World Cup with a big game, advancing to the knockout round with a big game in the Group of Death. This is a clutch side. This will be the most entertaining match of the four. Here is Manager David Bixler’s starting lineup.

GK- Snhp Xtfuinxm
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Charles Unne
D- Trav Strachan
M- Fwynj Otsjx
M- Alfred Smith
M- Critandi Unne
M- Cristina Antunez
F- Ojfssnsj Xrnym
F- Tim Remans

Tickets for all the World Cup matches are hopelessly sold out, but for those who want to travel to Kaze Progressa anyway, call Therewegoes Travel Agency at 3-18-357-9009. Kaze Progressa is a sport lover’s paradise as there are many sports familiar and unfamiliar that one can check out. However, the nation is very windy as well as cheesy, so be ready for that.

A Melmondian Sports Special
The Tick Now Apotheosis of Cool Among the Fearless Farmer Faithful
By Ian Oioi of the Faasen Times

KAZE PROGRESSA-- The Fearless Farmer faithful, those who follow the Melmond national team wherever they go, yell out many things in support of their side. Sometimes the chant is a simple Mel-Mond or Fear-Less-Farm-ers. Or something it is really clever like those chants against Eauz about the silliness of socialism. However, in the next match against Starblaydia, there will be a new phrase often chanted by the Fearless Farmer faithful. Actually, its more of a battle cry..."SPOON!"
Recently, the press out of Starblaydia came out with one of its infamous overviews of teams involving cartoon characters. In the most current edition, the Starblaydi press assigned cartoon characters to represent each remaining nation in the World Cup. The one chosen for Melmond was the Tick, with the comment of "The best thing ever, perhaps in their own mind." We really don't know what that means, whether they believe that Melmond overhypes themselves or that the team is arrogant." We do not know, but they have low expectations for us. But be careful Starblaydia, the Tick is nigh-invulnerable. We talked with many fans who made the trip to Kaze Progressa about why they have adopted the Tick as their own. But first lets talk to some Fearless Farmers themselves from the Wzkknf region, where the Tick is the most popular intergalatic cartoon import.
The Tick has been an institution for the longest time in Wzkknf. There it is not translated only in Melmondian English, but in Wzkknxm as well where it is called Ynj Ynhp. The famous trio from the region: Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm, midfielder Fwynj Otsjx, and striker Ojfssnsj Xrnym, actually were named after the pseudonyms used by the Tick, Arthur, and American Maid in the Wzkknxm version where they are undercover as tourists in Pokoponesia. "Yeah, our parents were family friends and huge fans of the Tick," Snhp Xtfuinxm said. He continues, "It was utter coincidence that we all had the same three last names as those pseudonyms, when we were born, they wanted to give us the first names to match, so basically we are always linked to the Tick." Although he is of more Melmondian Belgian stock than Wzzknxm, striker Tim Remans lived all his life in Wzkknfs Hnyd and also has fond memories of the Tick, "It was great, resilience and comedy brilliance, it was also great that they incorporated something Belgian in the Tick vs. Europe episode, watching that in Wzkknxm really made me feel at home in a universe that is mine." The brash striker also adds, "If I were two-dimensional I would so be into Eclair and Blitzen."
The first fan we that caught our attention was doing his day to day business in Kaze Progressa wearing a farmer hat with blue antlers, proudly proclaiming his membership as part of the Fearless Farmer faithful. When asked why Melmond fans have embraced the Tick, he replied, "The Tick is a symbol of Melmondian resiliency. The Tick survived being hit into outerspace by a giant clown, falling out of the sky through a road getting hit by a subway train and becoming all British and stuff, being the human filament in a lightblub, and being turned into into a two-headed bluebird that can only speak high-school French and still manages to save not only the City but the universe." He continues, "I see it as a metaphor of the emotional pain of being a Melmond fan, heartbreak after torturous heartbreak, but that resilence has made us stronger and I am happy to be part of the Fearless Farmer faithful through thick and thin."
The Fearless Farmer Fatso was accompanied by his usual companion, hand puppet in a farmer's outfit he calls Fingers. In this interview, Fingers did the honours of talking about Starblaydia's comparison of Melmond to the Tick, "It doesn't matter anyway, once Melmond gets done with them, Starblaydia will have as much reason to go on as Svidrigalov!" The whole crowd looks at each other in bafflement. "Dostoyevsky????? Crime and Punishment???? READ A BOOK!!!!!!!!" Apparently a leftover Squornshelousan was the only one to get that literary reference.
Another group of fans got started into a discussion why its not good to combine Melmond green with the tick outfit, "The green tick was evil, he was made out of a tissue blown on by the Tick when he had a cold, that Arthur clone got it and stuff, you just can't be evil, because evil is just plain wrong." One dissenter chimed in, "Arthur was so weak, I remember when Melmond was enraptured by another four letter thing, Muse, gosh I miss hearing about Matt Bellamy, he would make a better sidekick than that whiny Arthur." The group ponders the concept and they come to a consensus "Yeah!" They started mentioning that if Matt Bellamy was the Tick's sidekick, those ants would have no chance because he can go MicroCuts with that voice and shatter that glass and his skill on the electric guitar could have easily destroyed multiple Santa." There is a petition now going around in favor of having a midget troupe of Matt Bellamy impersonators called Actual Size sing the Melmondian National Anthem.
Yes, the Fearless Farmer Faithful love the tick and still love Muse...but one wonders what would happen if you combine the two. I will be sure to make an epic speech once Melmond comes out victorious.

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Falcons Tragically Infected With Cliche Disease
Beyond-all-expectations performance proves to affect brains of competitors

"We shocked the world," said the usually quiet Anularius Messor.

"We shocked the world," said the usually loud Ronal Cuniculus.

"We shocked the world," said the usually asleep Longævus Aluta.

"I'm still in shock, to tell the truth," said Tomus "The World" Flögel. "This was probably our best performance ever. We can't get a big head though, especially with the best team in the tournament being our next match. We have to take it one game at a time."

"Defense wins championships," said Coach Rob, "and ours has just been phenomenal this whole year. Ever since the halfway point of group play, when we were 6th, the team has just locked down its opponents."

"But we have to remember that you can't win without scoring; we're going to aim for a regulation-time win tomorrow, no matter how crazy that sounds. If that winds up costing us a goal against, then we shouldn't have been in the match at the first place."

"If you think I'm just going to drop 10 men back and wait for a shootout, you're wrong," said Coach Ed. "We've gone through too much together just to give up because the other team is supposedly better than us. If we do score, though, we won't be stupid and take those unnecessary chances. The 1-0 win has been extermely favorable to us this year."

"One game at a time."

Final Score:
Aquiliana 2 (Messor 31, Cuniculus 113)
Audioslavia 1 (Marriot 6)

Sirake Tekim: Today is the day of the Round of 16 match against host Kaze Progressa. For us in Paninara kali is Elin Ri, Hejida Elin!

Elin Ri: Hejida Sirake! You don't use the word kali after cities outside of Rejistania.

ST: Ah ve, so excited that I forgot basic rules of grammar!

ER: Not good if you are radio speaker.

ST: Well, you do the broadcast!

ER: But you do the moderation when I have technical problems.

ST: Come on, you surely won't!

ER: (the connection becomes worse, noise is heard and his voice is more quiet) I won't?

ST: Gojna, stop the jokes!

ER: what jokes? (a sound is heard, connection suddently improves) Bah, stupid thingy only works after giving it a clap.

ST: errr... that connection problems were real?

ER: Yes.

ST: I'm better of to take my drugs! Tell me who plays for both sides during that.

ER: Ok, for the Orange-Blues: Goalie Ninu Juru, defenders: Kadu Hsen, "Sasi", and karelian Dini Y. Midfielders: Hsenu Kira, Hiki Suny, Nxeni Venu and Tuade Lue, and forwards SyMji, Lyku Ju and Miki I Jil. A System Hangila from Rejistania. What in the name of the almighty Bob did coach LaxTa think? (silence) Ve, that is a good answer. ok, now for the Progressans: Goalie Fayu Fanzuhu; defenders Garzni Gajzilin, Bartaz Borapi, Lartaz Hariza, Mert Quilaniz, Jaulinta Hajizi; midfielders Kaiziu Horaski, Carina Cahztavaniko, Cavinski Cozii-Danila, Rahujiz Rapikok; and Sani Luvo is the lone striker in this formation. The progressan names for the positions differ much, the rejistanian too, but I want to keep it simple since we are on the radio.

ST: and because I was was away and had to hurry to be here when you finished?

ER: that too!

ST: You are evil!

ER: Only sometimes. Well, the anthems start!

(The progressan and the rejistanian anthem are played)

ER: Han'il rejistaniha!

(6th minute)
ER: I don't think that was a free kick, but the referee decided it. Cozii-Danila'he shoots (loud noise, after a time we realize that it is the cheering of progressan fans)

ST: ok, that sounds as if the progressans ahead 1:0

ER: (screaming over the noise) Indeed!

(11th minute)
ER: that is Nxeni Venu, in good position, it seems as if he wants to pass to I Jil'he, (cheering, this time in rejistanian and not as loud interferes) He did it himself, 1:1!

(31st minute)
ER: Tuade Lue passes to Hiki Suny, the Alan City midfielder passes to captain Nxeni Venu, quick pass back to Suny'he... XXXXKKKKOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAA! That is the 2:1!

(35th minute)
ER: Sasi clears for a corner kick, Carina Cahztavaniko shoots it, Bartaz Borapi (the cheering of 100,000 progressan fans interfered, but only for a short while, then the connection ceases)

(86th minute)
ER: (in rejistanian) Bah, I hate this slani router, one day I'll throw this mer'slani out of the window!

ST: (in english) apparently it works now.

ER: (also in english) That saved its life! Well the score is 2:3 against the Orange-Blues after a really exciting match. Jenji Y is just substituted in. The Progressans start an attack, Luvo'he... against Y'he, err Dini Y, good faked shot, he's past Dini Y, he shoots. Pooh, Ninu Juru saved! (rejistanian fans chant "Ninu!") Ninu Juru throws the ball upfields, Nxeni Venu, to Y'he, I mean, Jenji Y, XXXXKKKKKKKOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAA! (much happy noise from the rejistanian fan block)

(90+9th minute)
ER: ...Cozii-Danila'he will shoot the free kick! (progressan fans chant 'Beckham!', apparently a word in the old progressan language) Ninu Juru saved! The score is still 3:3!

(90+26th minute)
ER: A deperate attack from the Progressans, Rahujiz Rapikok's cross was intercepted by Sasi! The Orange-Blues are starting a counter attack... Sasi in the progressan half, passes to Jenji Y... Jenji Y ... feinted a shoot to SyMji, (connection breaks down)

(some time later when the match already ended)
ER: Here I am again! 4:3 for the Orange-Blues! Back to the st... (connection ceases again)

ST: Yay for hightech!

The Starblaydia Stat-Attack
And you thought we'd forgotten to tell you all about it!

We all know that Starblaydia may not progress any further than wehere they are know. We also know that if Starblaydia can overcome the too-close-to-call game against Melmond, then the top Four in the World awaits. Most-probably the nation of Rejistania will be there to meet one of us in the Semi-Finals.

The World Cup, as any veteran will tell you, is about luck. Starblaydia have certainly been lucky in their matches. Coming through a Group of Death with just a single win, beating Tanah Burung, NEWI Cefn Druids and Europa Brittania in revenge matches to even out our eight-year-old sporting history. We looked back through the Records and there's no revenge match here, on the international stage against Melmond.

Except one.

The Melmond Inviational Tournament. Was it any wonder that three of the Semi-Finalists in that Tournament were from Melmond? Starblaydia's one representative, Iskara Daii, were beaten by, no less than the victorious Acosta Browns. Of Melmond. Scanning through the Starblaydia squad we see more than a few Daii players. Da Silva, Salisbury, Salaam, Carter, plus the noteable ex-players, the brothers Di Bradini, Simeone and Roberto.

Not A revenge match? Yeah Right. Bring it on, Melmond.

Starblaydia World Cup 17 Finals Match Schedule and Results
GRP1: Audioslavia 2-1 Starblaydia
GRP2: Starblaydia 0-1 The Lowland Clans
GRP3: Starblaydia 3-0 NEWI Cefn Drudis
2ndR: Starblaydia 2-AET-1 Europa Brittania
NEXT: Starblaydia Vs Melmond

Starblaydia World Cup 17 Finals' Goal Tally:

Player WC17 Total
-------------------------------------
S. Di Bradini 2 24
A. Ol-wairain 1 10
S. Haldorsson 1 9
K-J. Carter 1 2
M. Hawthorne 1 2

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Vilita 4-1 Spaam

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Vilita Goalscorers::
10' Callum Banda
66' Umberto Melli
77' Enzo Ahat
88' Germán Salomón


The Shultis, Lonngeylin, Vilita
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Vilita Jungle Cats Report::The Vilita Jungle Cats entered The Shultis in Lonngeylin, Vilita to the roar of 65,000 strong, packing the grandstands and the mountainside, sitting atop trees for the best view, in a bit of organized chaos unlike that ever seen before in Vilita. It was the World Cup Round Of Sixteen, which the Jungle Cats had reached for the second consecutive cup. In World Cup 16 in Rejistania, the Jungle Cats were knocked out at this stage by then World-Champions Commerce Heights. Their Undoers then got knocked themselves out by Bedistan, a team that Vilita had reigned victorious over in the Group Stage.

-------------------------Vilitan Coach Helmut Vilkaus reverted to an all-too familiar strike pairing of Callum Banda and Germán Salomón, after Serge DuPont had failed to find the net in the Group Stage. Vilkaus was quoted in stating that Germán Salomón was ready to go after being benched, and believed he was more fired up than ever. In fact, The Jungle Cats fielded a side reminiscent to their Original World Cup 13 side, with the exception of Goalkeeper Jimmy Kater, Defender Jaloey Afrikka and Midfielder Umberto Melli. Then just teenagers, the Jungle Cats broke through with their first ever International Victory against Compound Interest, with Callum Banda and Santo Kecker netting in that Historic 2-1 win. Another milestone was ready, in a turning of the eras, with The Vilita Jungle Cats facing off against Spaam, a team who when the Jungle Cats were competing in those first ever international matchups, Spaam was coming off another fine run in the Cup, a Runner-Up finish to Rejistania in World Cup 12 that solidified them as Powerhouses in the sport.

-------------------------A look at the Jungle Cats bench, however, would not bring back memories of these days, with the turning of the internal tide very visible, only now backup keeper Massimo Corsi remaining from the early days. The fans were out of their seats, and never looked like sitting down, and the atmosphere was more than intense, some say that the less high profile match between Dance2Revolution and Raptor Claw was interupted by the High Volume coming out of the Shultis, miles away from their matchup. Rejistanian Referee Siki Rej blew his whistle to indicate the start of the match.

-------------------------Vilita looked to have bounced back nicely after their defeat to Lemmitania on the final day of group play, and were composed enough to earn an early corner just 5 minutes in. Keckers In-Swinging effort was cleared out by the Spaamian defense, but the Jungle Cats continuted to pressure their lunch-meat resembling counter parts. 10 Minutes in, Callum Banda showed a flash of the skills that have made him the all-time Vilitan top scorer by out-manuevering the Spaam defense and finding himself all alone with just the keeper to beat. Banda shook to the left before wrong footing the ball and sending it looping ominously into the far corner of the net. Banda ran off in airplane formation where he was met by his teammates, and the cheers of 60,000 Vilitans eager to see their team advance for the first time to the World Cup Quarter-Finals.

-------------------------Their mood would be dampened just minutes later however, when Banda had to be replaced by Serge DuPont. The crowd was not so depressed however, cheering as DuPont entered the field, a hometown player from Strike FC, who play all of their home matches during the Vilitan Stellar Division season at The Shultis. Early reports indicated that Banda had no more than a sprain but did not want to risk the teams place in the next round when such a prolific goalscorer like DuPont was waiting on the bench.

-------------------------The Jungle Cats could not re-create the same surge as they had in the opening ten minutes, however, with the match turning into a midfield battle royale with little action inside the final third.

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Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Jimmy Kater, [D] Enzo Ahat, [D] Giacomo Adika, [D] Jaloey Afrikka, [DM] Jürgen Ramzi, [M] Jonathon Stott, [M] Umberto Melli, [M] Santo Kecker, [M] Alexander Östling, [F] Callum Banda, [F] Germán Salomón
BENCH::
[F] Hluali Mijatos, [F] Serge DuPont, [M] Teariki Mané, [M] Marasent Sioane, [U] Calaesa Mitaroka, [D] Esemar Aliana, [GK] Massimo Corsi

Vilita Substitutions::
(17) - Callum Banda >>> Serge DuPont


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Matches & Venues:
M01: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [2] - [1] Kerla (Tivali Ring Stadium, Alikki Corra)
M02: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [1] - [1] Total n Utter Insanity (Tivali Ring Stadium, Alikki Corra)
M03: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [0] - [1] Lemmitania (Tivali Ring Stadium, Alikki Corra)
R16: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [4] - [1] Spaam (The Shultis, Lonngeylin)
R16: Vilita (http://vilita.3wide.com/) [] - [] Liverpool England (Lirae Asku Castle, Yeaddin)

Good way to waste an hour or two eh? At least I'm not TnUI... Then I'd be saying "Good way to waste a year or two, eh?"

Starblaydia Out at Quarter-Finals
Remember that Goalscoring Chart? It hasn't changed.

After a truly magnificent performance, Starblaydia have bowed out of the 17th World Cup at the Quarter-Final stage to Melmond. Despite a hugely-attacking 3-3-4 formation for the last ten-or-so minutes, Starblaydia just couldn't manage to dig out the equaliser.

The goal was scored in one of the first 80 minutes by one of the Melmond players, and the first one to guess correctly, other than someone from the nation of Melmond, wins the very shirt off my back. As to what shirt I'm wearing, you'll find out when it arrives in brown wrapping on your doorstep within 4 working days.

And as a Final Word or three, we think Rejistania or Dance 2 Revolution will win the cup. Yay for them!

Starblaydia World Cup 17 Finals Match Schedule and Results
GRP1: Audioslavia 2-1 Starblaydia
GRP2: Starblaydia 0-1 The Lowland Clans
GRP3: Starblaydia 3-0 NEWI Cefn Drudis
2ndR: Starblaydia 2-AET-1 Europa Brittania
QtrF: Starblaydia 0-1 Melmond

Starblaydia World Cup 17 Finals. Final Goal Tally:

Player WC17 Total
-------------------------------------
S. Di Bradini 2 24
A. Ol-wairain 1 10
S. Haldorsson 1 9
K-J. Carter 1 2
M. Hawthorne 1 2

The Magic Finally Runs Out
But nobody really expected the team to win anyways

After one of the greatest runs by a rookie team in World Cup history, Aquiliana's luck finally ran out when, after advancing to the quarterfinals, they were placed against the 2nd-ranked team in the world, Rejistania. The only reason the odds for this game were just 7:2 was the high amount of upsets already in this tournament.

But the Falcons came out strong, holding to their strategy of attacking early, and eventually Carbasus was able to thread a beautiful through ball between two defenders to a streaking Pontifex Auguratius. Despite offside cries from the Orange-Blue bench, the captain was able to dribble in unmarked and put the ball in the back of the net.

Part 2 of the plan was to pull 10 men back on defense and hope for a miracle, trying to hold Rejistania to 1 goal or less. Unfortunately, the Orange-Blues realized that they were actually playing a game, and began to show the reason they were ranked #2. Just 8 minutes later, Syku Lyku was able dribble past the defense and cause Ancora to twist an ankle. Once the inevitable goal was scored, the sweeper was pulled in favor of the speedy Mendax Roriges.

But just a few minutes after that, Anularius Messor made a wicked tackle on Hsenu Kira in this box. Messor was sent off and Kira put away the penalty easily. The Falcons could never recover, being a man down, and 2 more goals were scored in the second half to seal the game.

"I'm very proud of this team," said Coach Ed afterwards. Over the course of the tournament, we beat a team higher ranked than us 6 times. I know some of the players will be disappointed, but this Rejistanian team was simply the best we've ever faced in every way possible, and I truly believe that they will win this tournament."

"This team has improved so much over this tournament," said Coach Rob, "that it's going to be tough next time around. We've got 5 players likely retiring, and a few starters who will be in their mid-to-late thirties. The rookies are going to have to step up their play if we're going to repeat these results."

The most devastating loss, of course, will be that of the captain, Pontifex Auguratius. Scoring 7 goals in this World Cup, he'll be 36 in the year of XVIII. However, there were so many great young players, unable to play because of the team's defensive strategy, that the Falcons just might be able to put 3 up top.

"That's the great thing about our team - our young players are developing into better players than those they are replacing. Hopefully I'll still be coaching this team in four years' time."

Final Score:
Aquiliana 1 (Auguratius 22)
Rejistania 4 (S. Lyku 30, 74, Kira 41, Laijiyiaya 66)


World Cup 17


Match Results:


MD1: (17) Oglethorpia 1 - 1 Aquiliana
MD2: Aquiliana 0 - 5 Kingsford (8)
MD3: (34) Turnia 0 - 2 Aquiliana
MD4: Aquiliana 1 - 5 Liverpool England (28)
MD5: (57) Avenging Altos 3 - 1 Aquiliana
MD6: (NR) Regia Anglorum 2 - 2 Aquiliana
MD7: Aquiliana 2 - 0 Kipto-Mare (108)
MD8: Aquiliana 2 - 2 Oglethorpia (17)
MD9: (8) Kingsford 1 - 0 Aquiliana
MD10: Aquiliana 2 - 1 Turnia (34)
MD11: (28) Liverpool England 2 - 2 Aquiliana
MD12: Aquiliana 1 - 1 Avenging Altos (57)
MD13: Aquiliana 5 - 0 Regia Anglorum (NR)
MD14: (108) Kipto-Mare 0 - Aquiliana 2
Playoff: (15) Lovisa 1 - Aquiliana 2
MD1: Aquiliana 1 - 0 Europa Brittania (5)
MD2: Aquiliana 1 - 0 Krytenia (30)
MD3: Aquiliana 0 - 1 Iansisle (14)
R16: Aquiliana 2 AET - 1 Audioslavia (6)
QF: Aquiliana 1-4 Rejistania (2)

Overall: 9-5-6

Goalscorers:

Auguratius 7
Cuniculus 7
Flögel 5
Carbasus 3
Præfrigidi 2
Haesit 2
Messor 2
Direptor 1
Xiphior 1

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

DDR^2
Discouraged, Defeated, and Ready to Return

Svecia 1 Melmond 2


Kaze Progressa - Although the latest setback in Svecikan World Cup history istn´t the first against its friendly rivals Melmond, it certainly is the most agonizing.

How could a team in their first World Cup appearance knock out the fabled Lightning?

Many pondered this as they trudged out of the stadium, although none as carefully as the players themselves.

Where will the off season take them this time? The Lightning team of World Cup 17 will return to World Cup 18 without a change. All Svecians remember the fabled team of the 5th and 7th World Cups. It has now been almost 40 years and the Lightning have yet to advance past the quarterfinals since they took third behind the incredible saves of keeper Matt de Fijts.

Many had hoped that this year would be the time for the Lightning to return to the superpower status they held so long ago. But now that dream cant be reached. Or can it?

Not this year for obvious reasons, but looking back on the World Cup run, Svecia have many things to be excited about.

Take these scores for instance:
Svecia 3 - 1 The Eagles Nest
and
Svecia 2 - 1 Rejistania

Two wins against teams ranked in the top 5 in the world. And one of these was in a neutral stadium.

Of course there was the somewhat doubtful end to the qualifying campaign, which saw the Lightning lose their first place finish in the group and barely manage to hang on for a second place, and automatic qualification, spot.

Which team will come out next Cup? The team that can beat the world class teams, or the one that falls apart against low-life teams whenever there´s a pressure situation?

Fans can only hope for the former version of their Lightning. It remains yet to be seen if the hopeful run at this cup will propel Svecia into the next cup, but with veteran leaders like Mikael Solskjaer, Hanan Belagt, Tomas Kristiansand, and Piet van Meer, and upcoming stars Joël Simão, Pawel Forsch, and Anders Glock, the Lightning should push farther than the second round and turn the negative DDR into the positive Determination of play, Destruction of other teams, and Rejoicing in a top three finish that will only come for the Svecians with a semifinal appearance.

Hosts Downed - Fans Start Thinking Of Trophy

It is official, the Philosophers are on their greatest run in 32 years. They have made it past home side Vilita 2-1 to meet Dance 2 Revolution, who overcame Total n Utter Insanity. The two team drew 0-0 in an earlier group stage game. The winner will play the final against Melmond, making their first ever finals appearance, or Rejistania. Fans at home have finally started to think aboutthe distinct possibility of getting their hands on the trophy. Just two matches seperates them from the cup they won 36 years ago, so infamously against hosts Bedistan, who the Philosophers eliminated in the second round this time. Well, what can we say? Roll on, Dance 2 Revolution!

Predictions:
Semi Finals
Liverpool England over Dance 2 Revolution
Rejistania over Melmond
Final
Rejistania over Liverpool England

Semifinals? SPOON!!!!
Snhp Xtfuinxm Nigh-Invulnerable Against Starblaydia
By Henry Kalangalangalang of the Melmond City Herald

FARELA, KAZE PROGRESSA—There was something rather surreal about the whole atmosphere for this Starblaydia-Melmond match. The first thing was the fact that either Melmond or Starblaydia, both in their first every World Cup final, will have two more games to play and be in the semifinals, which gives one of these first timers the chance to medal in this World Cup. Second is the new dynamic of the Fearless Farmer faithful. When we envision the Fearless Farmer faithful, we usually imagine farmer hats, pitchfork whether real or foam, a giant Melmondian flag, kazoos, conga drums, and scary masks. However, now incorporated in the usual Fearless Farmer faithful garb was Tick and Matt Bellamy mania. Now things such as blue Tick antlers, spoons, and portable helium machines to sing like Matt Bellamy were among the Fearless Farmer faithful. Some even combined their passions for both the Tick and Matt Bellamy by wearing the combination Tick/Matt Bellamy mask as seen in one of the special sections devoted to the World Cup.
Things got rather surreal when the midget troupe of Matt Bellamy impersonators called “Actual Size” did a gloriously epic and over the top version of the Melmond National Anthem which really raised the spirits of both the Fearless Farmers and their faithful. However, perhaps their passion for the Tick went a bit too far. American based company Archway cookies was the sponsor of the stadium in Farela called obviously enough, Archway Stadium. To celebrate the renaming of the stadium, the people at Archway gave a complementary gingerbread cookie to each of the 100,000 fans who came into the sold out stadium on this gorgeous night. However, some of the Fearless Farmer faithful remember an episode of the Tick where the Breadmaster sent mischievous gingerbread cookies in order to terrorize Arthur and the foreign exchange superheroine from Antwerp, Éclair. They feared this was art imitating life, and that the voodoo dice people, The Evil Umpire, or Eauzian communist spies tampered with the gingerbread cookies. And unlike the Breadmaster who had baking integrity and didn’t use any artificial preservatives in his backing, that wasn’t the case for Archway. The Fearless Farmer faithful went around the stadium swiping all the gingerbread cookies from the hands of all the fans. Alas, their fears were unfounded, and all that the Fearless Farmer faithful saved everyone from was 100 calories.
Either way, this match wasn’t about the Tick, Matt Bellamy, or suspect cookies; but about the players on the pitch. On the early going, Starblaydia seemed to have the momentum on their side. It is now widely known in order to beat Melmond; you must score early and often since the physical Melmond defence often wears down the opposing attack as the match goes on. Starblaydia went right ahead and pressed the attack right away. The key matchup was between notorious shut down Melmond defender and world-class Starblaydi striker Simeone di Bradini. It was Strachan’s job to shut down di Bradini. However, di Bradini was looking to have a career match in this quarterfinal as he often made Strachan and the rest of the Melmond defence look silly with his ability to dribble around and avoid the physical pressure. However, di Bradini chose the wrong day to have a career match, because Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm was going to have a career day himself.
Di Bradini had tons of chances in the first half to give Starblaydia up to even four goals, but everytime, Snhp stopped Simeone. Whether it was a rocket deflected by an outstretched Xtfuinxm to a Melmond defender who cleared it out, a subtle chip over the head of Xtfuinxm which Xtfuinxm was able to dive and keep out of the net, a strong diving header which was snatched up by a diving Xtfuinxm, or an apparently faked out Xtfuinxm deflecting di Bradini’s shot away with his feet as he was diving the other way, the Starblaydi supporters’ faces seemed to be get a shade redder each time Snhp Xtfuinxm thwarted a sure goal for Simeone di Bradini. The same could be said for di Bradini’s face as nothing was going to give from Mr. Xtfuinxm.
The Melmond attack wasn’t a big story in the first half, as they didn’t have near as many chances as the Starblaydia attack, and Starblaydia goalkeeper Rodriguez Da Silva made easy work of the Melmond shots. When Starblaydia wasn’t on the attack, it was a knockdown drag out battle for possession in the midfield. Alas, after all that hard work by both sides, the exciting first half ended scoreless.
However in the second half, Melmond was going to bust things wide open. That is courtesy of the busted plays and players of Starblaydia. The Starblaydia team took a big hit when their star midfielder Ki-Jana Carter, named after the notorious National Football League bust picked number one overall by the Cincinnati Bengals, got injured in a similar manner of his gridiron counterpart. The American football Ki-Jana Carter ruined any chance of greatness in his first preseason game as he tried to make a juke move on the artificial turf and tore up his ACL. However, Starblaydia’s Ki-Jana Carter was going to be in better shape after his knee buckled trying to defend the clever dribbling of Melmond midfielder Critandi Unne. Carter fell to the pitch in obvious pain clutching his knee. Trainers from both sides came out to assist Ki-Jana Carter, who had to be helped off the pitch. Fortunately, it ended up only being a severely sprained knee rather than an ACL tear. Ki-Jana Carter will probably miss some matches for his club side, but should be okay for future Starblaydia National Team matches as they did eventually lose this match.
And why they lost this match could be chalked up to a mistake by another Starblaydia player named after a National Football League running back bust. Starblaydia defender Rastian Salaam, who has a very similar name to Chicago Bears first-round running back wasted pick Rashaan Salaam, made a Rashaan Salaam type mistake. In his years in Chicago, Salaam was a good runner, but he had the bad habit of fumbling the football, which cost him his career. Starblaydia’s Salaam coughed up this football, which would cost Starblaydia a chance at World Cup glory. Fellow Starblaydia defender Moses Brown kicked the ball to the open Salaam so he can clear the ball away. However, he whiffs on his attempt and the ball was snatched up by Melmond striker Ojfssnsj Xrnym, who was one on one with the Starblaydi goalkeeper and beat him with a shot in the upper right corner which was out of Rodriguez Da Silva’s reach! The Fearless Farmer faithful reacted with a Tick-inspired uproar clicking their spoons together as well as chanting the Tick theme song “dum-dwee-dop-dop-dop-dwee-dow” Xrnym herself got caught up in the Tick fervor, overzealously doing an American Maid impression throwing her shoe into the crowd of the Fearless Farmer faithful in celebration of her 79th minute goal. Unfortunately, for her, the lucky fan who caught her shoe kept it and she didn’t have a backup.
However, lucky for the Fearless Farmers, a consonant mishap by Manager David Bixler may have saved the match. Starblaydia was getting ready for a near all out attack in order to tie the match up as defender Moses Brown and midfielder Michael Hawthorne were substituted for extra strikers Ahmed Ol-wairain and Ricky Torino. However, as David Bixler said, “Let’s show these people in Karela, Faze Progressa what we are all about,” the Melmond team thought “Karela? Good idea!” So in order to combat the all out attack of Starblaydia, Melmond went System Karela for the rest of the match as defenders Veronica Dean, Kestrel Bluesummers, and Gwen Dumont came in the match for strikers Ojfssnsj Xrnym, Tim Remans and midfielder Alfred Smith. Starblaydia only got one more chance, fittingly it was Simeone di Bradini with the prayer of the shot, and absolute photon of the ball, but Snhp Xtfuinxm was having the match of their life as he dived for the ball and caught it. Melmond will win the match 1-nil and advance to the semi-finals to play Rejistania.
I know you are expecting a grand Tick-style speech at the end of this victory, but I didn’t guarantee that, Ian Oioi of the Faasen Times did. However, I don’t want to disappoint you, so I will give you a Tick-esque quote, “It isn’t evil gingerbread cookies that lose World Cup matches, but players named after gridiron busts.”

Goals
Xrnym, MEL 79th

Cards
None

Standings

Semifinal Fixtures
Liverpool England v Dance 2 Revolution
Melmond v Rejistania

Team Stats
Goals: Tim Remans (2), Ojfssnsj Xrnym (2, Critandi Unne (1), Jonsi Torrini (1)
Cards: Trav Strachan (1), Charles Unne (1)

Melmond World Cup Schedule (all in Kaze Progressa)

v Commerce Heights (Westside Stadium, Gauralan) T 1-1
v Dennisov (Irafma Lakeside Arena, Quarua) W 2-0
@ Kaze Progressa (Progressair Stadium, Kaza) L 1-0
v Svecia (Gateway Arena, Taqizerr) W 2-1
v Starblaydia (Archway Stadium, Farela) W 1-0
v Rejistania (Kaze Progressa)
v Final or 3rd Place Match

Next Game
vs. Rejistania (Kaze Progressa)

There have been many matches in this World Cup where Melmond has been the underdog whereareas the Melmond pundits knew they had more than a good chance of advancing. However, with this match against the Orange-Blues of Rejistania, it is consensus that Melmond is the underdog. In the Melmondian World Cup preview, it was predicted that Rejistania would win the World Cup and Melmond would lose to Rejistania in the Round of 16. However, they did not expect the meeting in the semifinals. But stranger things have happened in this World Cup such as Aquiliana beating Audioslavia and Dance 2 Revolution beating Vilita. And considering that Svecia beat Rejistania and Melmond beat Svecia, can Melmond beat Rejistania? One thing is for sure, the entire team will have to play the match of their lives. The key matchup is in the midfield between Melmond's Critandi Unne and Rejistania's Nxeni Venu. Here is Manager David Bixler’s starting lineup.

GK- Snhp Xtfuinxm
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Charles Unne
D- Trav Strachan
M- Fwynj Otsjx
M- Alfred Smith
M- Critandi Unne
M- Cristina Antunez
F- Ojfssnsj Xrnym
F- Tim Remans

Tickets for all the World Cup matches are hopelessly sold out, but for those who want to travel to Kaze Progressa anyway, call Therewegoes Travel Agency at 3-18-357-9009. Kaze Progressa is a sport lover’s paradise as there are many sports familiar and unfamiliar that one can check out. However, the nation is very windy as well as cheesy, so be ready for that.

Previous Papers (Ro16 Paper)

D2R Eliminate Raptor Claw!

D2R to take on highly fancied Total n Utter Insanity.

D2R came on against Raptor Claw confidently and as favourites…Just! People worried that D2R being confident would screw up their confidence.

It did just that…Raptor Claw’s <9> flaming home in only the 8th minute. Raptor Claw lead and D2R were furious. It was the story of the upset all over again.

Nothing much happened during the next 70 minutes. Very feeble attempts and one or two minor scrambles. Nothing interesting enough to report.

Then it happened. The breakthrough that D2R were after and Van Mushruum was on it like a shot, whipping it into the top corner.

Also nothing much else happened…and as it almost was gazing into extra time. Hentea had a shot, it was tipped, hit the bar and fell to Maeda who tapped it in. 2-1

Final Score:
Raptor Claw 1(<9> 8’)
Dance 2 Revolution 2(Van Mushruum 78’ Maeda 90’)

Now D2R face Total n Utter Insanity in the Quarter Finals, it looks like D2R reach where they have never gone before…and no further…but you never know, surprises may happen.

GDB Today - International Edition
Bedistan's Contemporary News Source

sports

Jump, Jump, Jump DDR
BFA backing Dance 2 Revolution in semifinals

VILITA - Bedistan Football Association president Johnny Lewis made an announcement today that the Association would officially support the national team from Dance 2 Revolution in their World Cup semifinal match against Liverpool England.

"I would not be able to live with myself if Liverpool England won a second World Cup before we could even get our first," Lewis commented. "So we're really hoping the folks from D2R will put them in their place." When asked what would happen if D2R failed to defeat LE, Lewis remained confident. "That would almost certainly put them against Rejistania, and anyone who thinks Liverpool England can beat the Orange-Blues needs his head examined."

Not surprisingly, most pundits are predicting Rejistania to win the Cup for the second time, with Liverpool England finishing second and Melmond taking third place.

The Future of the Lions
Is there one?

AMISSVILLE, Bedistan - After a severely disappointing (and, most feel, uncalled for) second-round exit from World Cup 17, executives at the BFA are wondering if some fundamental changes need to be made to the Bedistan national team - even a change in its basic image.

"People all over the world see the Lions as a great team," remarks BFA vice-president Claire Briscoe. "They are seen as very good - but not quite good enough. Thirteen times we have tried to win the World Cup, and five times we have made the semifinals. But we still have not taken home that trophy. The Lions are viewed as being inherently cursed, a team that will never bring home the World Cup. It may be time to try a new approach."

No specifics have been given as yet regarding the BFA's plans, or even whether a change will occur at all.

Sirake Tekim: Hejida listeners, you are listening to radio RejisCAST, your state-owned, english speaking radio station. Elin Ri is for us in Kaze Progressa to report from the quarterfinal match against Aquilliana. Hejida Elin!

Elin Ri: Hejida Sirake! How's things in the Rejis?

ST: As always. Sometimes happy, sometimes sad!

ER: Is that story true about Hangila Sede?

ST: Sede'he? Where does he play for?

ER: Addict, I heard the rumour that our first lentine Hangila Sede is planning to retire and you think I am talking about the transfer market.

ST: I am not too interested in politics higher than local level. And besides, I am pretty sure that the ASR is secretely running the country...

ER: What the ... hell?

ST: Think of the Vajaneda-laws, for soccer clubs it is suddently far more easy to employ foreign players. I am sure the H1SR had their say there.

ER: Influential, is the right word for that, but not running the country!

ST: At least conspiracy theories give you an impression that everything makes sense.

ER: If you put all the different fact together, a consistent and scary new truth becomes visible: Conspiracy theorists are nuts!

ST: I was joking about that I believe it.

ER: I hope so!

ST: I did, anyways, how's things in Kaze Progressa?

ER: Rejistanian fans and no alcohol to calm them down - evil!

ST: Did they become violent?

ER: No, just celebrated in a way which made people think of an outbreak of civil war.

ST: I thought progressans knew fanatism themselves.

ER: But not in rejistanian... well, they knew that, but that was 20 years ago.

ST: Yeah, World Cup 12, those were the days, my friend!

ER: yeah! Anyways, no more offtopic discussion.

ST: And no more World Cup 12 nostalgia. Tell me about the rosters.

ER: okay: I'll start with the Orange-Blues: Goalkeeper Ninu Juru is playing again, in the defense is Kadu Hsen, Sasijilvenku Dikelesinivetisaru, Dini Y and Xenra Ji.

ST: You pronounced the full name of the seleke defender.

ER: As sign of good will... I won't do it in the broadcast!

ST: it would delay things?

ER: Yeah! In the midfield is Hsenu Kira, Hiki Suni, Kvansa Laijiyiaya for some strange reason and Tuade Lue.

ST: Kvansa is a starter?

ER: I just said so.

ST: What did LaxTa think?

ER: I don't know, perhaps he wanted to do us reporters a favor?

ST: will you call him Lai?

ER: No Kvansa. Anyways the forwards are Syku Lyku and Lyku Ju.

ST: Never change a winning team!

ER: ...and change a never-winning team, right! Now for the aquillan team:...

ST: They are not aquilla but Aquilliana.

ER: I know, but what IS their nationality?

ST: Aquillian.

ER: ok, for the Aquillian team: Stocus Marmoreus is the goalkeeper, sweeper Ancora, defenders Anularius Messor, Tueri Girillo and Ditras Marcos. In the midfield is Tomus Flögel, Acriter Carbasus, Istic Præfrigidi and Breva Haesit. Forwards are Pontifex Auguratius and Ronal Cuniculus.

ST: What did you just say?

ER: Ronal Cuniculus.

ST: I see, I understood something different

ER: What?

ST: errr, that is nothing for a show on state radio which is heard by children.

ER: Tell me during halftime.

ST: Not possible, you'll be down again!

ER: Ah gojin, it's not my fault that this router was made in Abysmalistan!

ST: You are joking!

ER: I am not, it's written here: 'a product of AbysmalConnections'

ST: Abysmal connections, so true!

ER: I guess they should sponsor our show, 'this connection problem brought to you by AbysmalConnections of Shanty Town!' (clicks are heard, then nothing)

ST: Elin?... E-lin!... This connection problem brought to you by AbysmalConnections of Shanty Town!

(5th minute)
ER: Finally, I am back! Now that I know that thing is Abysmali, I given up any hope that it will ever work. I called AbysmalConnections while this P-o-S booted and they were apparently happy with all the trouble, it caused. I hate these underarchievers!

ST: They are Abysmalis, use some strategy.

ER: Strategy?

ST: Make them feel that they failed at producing a failure!

ER: Good idea!... uh-oh! Ronal Cuniculus was in good position, but Dini Y came out of the nothing and stole the ball.

ST: What is the score?

ER: Nil-all.

(22th minute)
ER: Still I have to admit, the Orange-Blues were maybe too defensive against this opponent. This is Carbasus'he, passes, Hsen'he interferes, no, he does not get the ball, Auguratius'he gets the ball... SLANI!

ST: Watch it!

(30th minute)
ER: The Aquillian System Karela looks too rejistanish. Oh, not really, big defensive lapse! SyMji outsmarts one,... two,... three Aquillian players.... and.... JJJJJIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!
that is the equalizer!

(later)
ER: What happened to Ancora? I did not see what exactly happened and how it happened but apparently he is injured... yeah the coach indicates a susbstitution: Ancora out, Mendax Roriges in.

(41st minute)
ER: Kira'he in good position... gah! that was a bad foul! Messor'he is sent off for that foul. We are not playing speedball here! Penalty kick for the Orange-Blues... What, Kira'he goes to the spot?

ST: That's bad luck!

ER: Yeah, the foulee must not take the resulting penalty!

ST: Unless he already scored twice in that match.

ER: Hsenu Kira didn't do that... JJJJJJJJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE! 2:1!

(during halftime, Elin Ri calls AbysmalConnections)
Qw: Yes?
ER: Elin Ri here, am I speaking with AbysmalConnections?
Qw: Yes, Qw speaking.
ER: Our company has a router from your company, but it works.
Qw: So?
ER: It is supposed not to, why else did we buy in Abysmalistan.
Qw: Why?
ER: I wanted to annoy my boss into early retirement.
Qw: I see, we'll replace the router!

(we skip the rest)

(66th minute)
ER: That is Laijiyiaya'he, The defense is underorganised since one player was sent off and he takes advantage of that... Marmoreus'he can reach the ball with his fingertips, no XXXXXKKKKKKKOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAA!

(74th minute)
ER: ...Ju'he,... Tueri Girillo tries to steal the ball, a quick, desperate pass,... SyMji can run to the ball,... fakes a shot... shoots, THAT IS THE 4:1! REJISTANIA IS IN THE SEMIS!

ST: Not yet!

ER: yeah, but most likely!

(90+3rd minute)
ER: the referee blows his whistle, now it is official, the Orange-Blues are in the semifinal. I just reieved the result from the other match... goj...in! Our opponent for the next match is Melmond!

ST: Melmond as in 'Disappointments' or as in 'Under-A-Cheevers'?

ER: Exactly those.

ST: It's a year of failures apparently.

ER: Failures?

ST: Well, Melmond calls its team the Disappointments, qualifies and cruises to the semis. In the other final is Liverpool England and they were bound to fail.

ER: Why... Sirx?

ST: Yes, Sirx the Abysmal coach for Liverpool England. Would you ever have thought that Abysmals do well?

ER: NEVER! They can't succeed (connection fails again)

Can We Or Can't We?

The big question is, will Liverpool England make it to the semi's or not? Well, from the Bedistani point of view, it certanly seems not. Dance 2 Revolution, with whom the team drew 0-0 earlier, are the sem-final opponents of the Philosophers, the first final 4 team to play LE since Europa Brittania 32 years ago. That ended in a loss, we're hoping this one won't. And to the Bedistani FA, FALE Chairman Paul Dussis has invited you all over for an early celebration party.

Reporter: Hejida Laxtu Takil'he!

LT: Hejida.

Reporter: What are your expactitions for the match against Melmond?

LT: Win or loss.

Reporter: So you don't see yourself as huge favorite as the international media does?

LT: I did once in qualifying: before the home game against Ravea.

Reporter: Which ended 10:1.

LT: See? I had a reason for it.

Reporter: Errr... yes...

LT: Now and against Melmond, we are no favorite, Melmond is no favorite too. I expect a close match

Reporter: Will there be any surprises in the lineup?

LT: I am not revealing!

Reporter: I see. Media was a bit surprised about 'Sasi' being in the roster as starter... did he live up your expectations?

LT: Even if not, I would not tell. Can you imagine how disappointing it would be for him... and how silly to cause emotional problems before an important match.

Reporter: Ve... Are these rumours true that some players were... let's say: not too moral?

LT: It's not true. And as long as the partner is adult and consenting, I could not care less. I am so annoyed that you journalists always make up things. You are from the Na~ovi National?

Reporter: Yes....

LT: Worst newspaper... ever.... we need no yellow-press in sports.

And now to counter the countless panderings to Margaret, the constant reader and appreciator of RPs, when facing the Fearless Farmers..I write an extemperaneous limerick.

Teams who play the Farmers
Always sound the alarmers
They know they're in trouble
Their RPing is double
In hope to be Margaret charmers

Previous Papers (Q-Final Paper)

D2R Finish with Big Upset!

D2R travel to the Semi-Finals.

This was a great test of D2R’s grit and determination to win, playing Total n Utter Insanity as rank outsiders. D2R had no pressure on them; they were playing for their enjoyment.

TnUI wasted no time in stamping their authority on the game with a shot in the first few seconds of the game. TnUI kept on the offensive for the next ten minutes. TnUI’s Marcel Mane scored after 13 minutes, unlucky for some, but not TnUI…Or is it?

TnUI increased their lead 14 minutes later after a well delivered corner by Pavloski was headed in by Frohlich. It was 2-0 and D2R did not look like getting into the game.

The half continued with many chances for Nicoletta, Mane and Belless. The 3-4-3 formation TnUI had chosen seemingly pinned D2R in their own half. The score stayed 2-0 throughout the rest of the half.

D2R came out into the next half with a different mentality, and attacked against TnUI, slipping behind the defense. In the 54th minute Maeda found himself in space and placed the ball into the net. 2-1.

D2R only had to wait a further 9 minutes to draw back level. Hentea finding the net with a curling shot from the edge of the area. 2-2 with 25 minutes to play.

The remaining 25 minutes saw both teams revert to more normal style of play. TnUI turned the formation to 4-3-3 and D2R moved to a counter 4-3-3, moving Maeda forward. The ball stayed in the middle of the park for most of the remainder of the game and the Revolutionaries stared extra-time and penalties in the face. But in the dying minutes of the match, Maeda managed to poke the ball past the TnUI ‘keeper and it was 3-2. The final whistle blew.

Final Score:
Dance 2 Revolution 3 (Maeda 54’ 90’ Hentea 65’)
Total n Utter Insanity 2 (Mane 13’ Frohlich 27’)

D2R, beating Total n Utter Insanity reaches the semi-finals; where they will take on Liverpool England. D2R have another tough test, but quite a few people predict D2R to the finals:


I think that D2R will win World Cup 17, they are capable of a lot of upsets and i can see them holding the cup when the competition concludes



We have done simulators in our amazingly accurate SFTS(Somalialand Footballing Truth Scorinator) and it spat out these two results:

Dance 2 Revolution 2022939-0 Liverpool England
Liverpool England 0-2022939 Dance 2 Revolution

We feel that these results are completely accurate, give or take a few goals



"We're really hoping the folks from D2R will put them(Liverpool England) in their place."



We do not believe that our RRNGV2 (Really Random Number Generator Version 2) would allow for a Liverpool England team into the Finals, if that is the case we will have to start work on the RRNGV3 right away



Do not blame me if the results do not go your way, but i have a niggling feeling that you will be cheering a win sometime soon


So D2R can believe they have some support against LE

Originally Posted by Somalialand Football Expert
We have done simulators in our amazingly accurate SFTS(Somalialand Footballing Truth Scorinator) and it spat out these two results:

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Somalialand Footballing Truth Scorinator
Dance 2 Revolution 2022939-0 Liverpool England
Liverpool England 0-2022939 Dance 2 Revolution



We feel that these results are completely accurate, give or take a few goals

*ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha h ah ah ah ah ha h aha ha ha hah ha

Funny*

why are you trying to make fun of me,

i have never come here

Originally Posted by Somalialand Football Expert
We have done simulators in our amazingly accurate SFTS(Somalialand Footballing Truth Scorinator) and it spat out these two results:

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Somalialand Footballing Truth Scorinator
Dance 2 Revolution 2022939-0 Liverpool England
Liverpool England 0-2022939 Dance 2 Revolution



We feel that these results are completely accurate, give or take a few goals

*ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha h ah ah ah ah ha h aha ha ha hah ha

Funny*

why are you trying to make fun of me,

i have never come here

Somalialand, two things.

1) We take the mick out of each other all the time. Usually Liverpool England.

2) We especially take the mick out of godmodders.

Somalialand, two things.

1) We take the mick out of each other all the time. Usually Liverpool England.

2) We especially take the mick out of godmodders.


Meaning............................?

Meaning............................?

Godmodding in Sports-RPing means exaggerated player stats or extreme matches, which are very unlikely IRL. you see, I checked some RL-stats and I found no one who scored 80 goals in a season, so it made you fall into the category.

Anyways: The world cup is about fun, so have fun, enjoy your popularity and take a cookie (non fatening but extremely tasty). No one wanted to insult you, it was just a small joke.

After the match the whole Insanician team were disappointed, but to win a second round match against a good team was like winning the final to them.

"There is something about the knockout stage that just kills our teams, luckily it's not like ASholes or Kingsforders WC11 teams. Heh."

"The lads played brilliantly, even if we lost at this stage you are playing the worlds best...and Liverpool England. We wish Dance2Revolution the best of luck in their next match."

OOC: Doh, oh well it's not going to my RP Bonus anyway :D

Just As We Start Thinking 'Bout The Cup...
AET: Liverpool England 1-2 Dance 2 Revolution (Douglas Freech 117)

Yes, we lost. Yes, to Dance 2 Revolution. Yes, we predict them to win the cup. What mor do you want? Huh? You want a preview for the Third Place Playoff? We don't know who we're facing!

Predictions
3PPO
Liverpool England over Melmond OR Rejistania over Liverpool England
Final
Dance 2 Revolution over Rejistania or Melmond

Quest To Be World’s Best Ended
However Dream For Glory Still Alive With 3rd Place Match Next
By Henry Kalangalangalang of the Melmond City Herald

QUARUA, KAZE PROGRESSA—This was truly a bittersweet night for the history of sports in Melmond. The impossible dream has ended. The Melmond National Team, who took the NationStates footballing world by storm has finally felled in a 2-1 loss to Rejistania. One would usually think that there would be nothing but sadness and disappointment when a team comes one match short of being the headliner on the world’s biggest stage. However, considering that this is the first ever World Cup that the Fearless Farmers have been in, making the semifinals is a gargantuan feat. And there certainly isn’t any shame in losing to a class side like the Orange-Blues of Rejistania, especially as close and competitively our Fearless Farmers played against them.
The sight at Irafma Lakeside Arena was absolutely gorgeous as the opening festivities had a beauteous glowing orange, pink, and red sky highlighted by the setting sun of Quarua. As usual, you had the national anthems before each match. The Melmond National Anthem was pure spectacle as it featured the best of both worlds as famous or if you are in Eauz, infamous Melmondian musical star Stillint Hecloset teamed up with that famous group of midget Matt Bellamy impersonators known as Actual Size to do a very quirky rendition of the national anthem in which the quirky people of Melmond and many Rejistanian and Kaze Progressans also appreciated for its freshness and thinking outside the box of your traditional national anthem performances.
As for the match itself, it was a classic. There was one individual matchup that was being watched closely by the whole footballing world, and that was between two midfielders, Melmond’s Critandi Unne and Rejistania’s Nxeni Venu. Both of these players are very familiar with each other as they not only played each other in the Rejistania league in the past, but currently they are rivals in the Melmond Premier League. In Rejistania, Venu got the best of Critandi Unne side as his Hanin Sekhika side played much better than Critandi Unne’s Sen-La-Sa~o Relekhati side, which is apparently Rejistanian for New York Rangers (a team that spends top dollar for the best players, but still manages to suck) if you want to put it in NHL terms. However, in the Melmond Premier League, they are far more evenly matched as both Nxeni Venu and Critandi Unne are consider the two best midfielders in the Melmond Premier League and Venu’s Acosta Browns and Critandi Unne’s Unne Yellows are always in contention for the Melmond Premier League title.
Who would win this showdown in quite honestly is the biggest football match of their lives. Of course, we know that Rejistania won the match, but individually it was a draw, but it was Nxeni Venu who drew first blood. It is now widely know that if you want to beat the Fearless Farmers, you have to score early and often before the physical Melmond defence wears you down into absolute fatigue. The Rejistania side not only had the talent in order to do that, but executed their attack very well. At the 11th minute after an errant pass from Fwynj Otsjx was intercepted by Rejistania midfielder Hsenu Kira, Kira then finds striker Lyku Ju who then dribble past veteran Melmond defender Jonsi Torrini and then takes a shot which Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm was able to dive and knock down but not hold on to. Rejistania midfielder Nxeni Venu was able to get a step on Critandi Unne and by the time Unne caught up and got help from his fellow defender and Unne Yellows teammate Sergio Ortiz, it was too late as Venu cleaned up Ju’s shot and put it in the net. Rejistania takes the early 1-nil lead, but there really wasn’t any momentum shifts as both sides knew there was plenty of time in this match.
Of course, that statement is a double edge sword as twelve minutes later, Rejistania strikes again. This time it is off a corner kick, and is a momentum changer as it really starts to sink into the Melmond that they are two goals down. The corner is earned after a strong shot by Lyku Ju ricochets off the hip of Melmond defender Sergio Ortiz out of bounds. The corner kick was taken and the head of Rejistania striker Syku Lyku was able to get to the ball before the big fist of Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm was to knock the ball into next week. Lyku hits the ball with his head, but the ball hits the goalpost, but fortunately for him and unfortunately for the entire nation of Melmond, the ball ricochets into the net! Rejistania takes the 2-nil lead at the 23rd minute as it appears that the impossible dream is slipping away.
The frustration was mounting on the part of the Fearless Farmers, especially the defence. They are not use to being this lose on the defensive end as this is the first World Cup match that they have given up more than one goal, never mind two goals in one half. That frustration led the defence to make some hasty decision leading to some fouls. Most notably was a late tackle made on Rejistania midfielder Nxeni Venu by Melmond defender Trav Strachan. Strachan received the yellow card at the 28th minute. He will not leave this match, however he will miss the pivotal third place match as that was his second yellow card of the tournament. Rejistania would leave this half with the 2-nil lead and their supporters with high spirits.
The second half has been known for being the half where the Fearless Farmers get the momentum and either comeback into the match or run away with it. Despite their great play and fitness, even the Rejistanian attack fell under the spell of fatigue which overcomes all adversaries of the meat grinder defence of Melmond. As the Rejistanian attack was getting less potent, it opened the door for Melmond to make their counterattack. However, the Rejistanian defence and goalkeeper were as resilient as ever. Whenever Melmond came up with a fastbreak or a cross play, one Rejistanian player would get in position to interrupt it. However, as the Melmond attack came back more frequently, even the sturdy Rejistanian defence had to make one mistake. That breakthrough came at the 73rd minute where featured Melmond midfielder Critandi Unne took advantage of a missed assignment and only had familiar adversary Nxeni Venu and goalkeeper Ninu Juru in hir way. Critandi Unne was able to dribble past Venu and make a strong shot that Juru was powerless to stop. The Fearless Farmer faithful gets reenergized as a new hope emerges as Melmond closes the lead to 2-1.
During the rest of the match, the Rejistanian side looked like a very strong person trying to hold up a heavy weight for a long period of time. One can tell that they were struggling to hold on to this lead as the weight of the Melmond attack seemed to intensify over time. However, Rejistania was still strong. Melmond’s best chance came at injury time where Melmond was able to make a counterattack where Melmond midfielder Fwynj Otsjx saw that Melmond striker Tim Remans has a step on Rejistanian defender Xenra Ji. Otsjx kicks a hard lob to his fellow native of Wzkknfs Hnyd Remans and Remans makes a header which beat the Rejistania goalkeeper Ninu Juru. But it hit the goalpost, and unlike Syku Lyku’s goal, the woodwork spit it out and Rejistanian defender Kadu Hsen was able to clear it out. The final whistle sounded at that moment as Rejistania escapes with the victory with their hearts still pounding. Both teams greeted at each other at midfield graciously, exchanging jerseys and shaking hands except Tim Remans, who was virtually paralyzed in a position of kneeling on the pitch covering his head in utter disbelief and thoughts of what could have been.

Goals
Venu, REJ 11th
Lyku, REJ 23rd
Cr. Unne, MEL 73rd

Cards
Strachan, MEL 28th

Standings

Final Fixture
Dance 2 Revolution v Rejistania

3rd Place Match Fixture
Liverpool England v Melmond

Team Stats
Goals: Tim Remans (2), Ojfssnsj Xrnym (2), Critandi Unne (2), Jonsi Torrini (1)
Cards: Trav Strachan (2), Charles Unne (1)

Melmond World Cup Schedule (first 6 in Kaze Progressa, last in Vilita)

v Commerce Heights (Westside Stadium, Gauralan) T 1-1
v Dennisov (Irafma Lakeside Arena, Quarua) W 2-0
@ Kaze Progressa (Progressair Stadium, Kaza) L 1-0
v Svecia (Gateway Arena, Taqizerr) W 2-1
v Starblaydia (Archway Stadium, Farela) W 1-0
v Rejistania (Irafma Lakeside Arena, Quarua) L 2-1
v Liverpool England (Tivali Ring Stadium, Alikki-Corra)

Next Game
vs. Liverpool England (Tivali Ring Stadium, Alikki-Corra)

Well, it appears that Melmond isn’t going to achieve the absolute improbable, to be a team to win the World Cup in their first ever World Cup. However, well in reach is just the plain improbable, for Melmond to get World Cup glory in their first try at the World Cup. At the Melmond Football Association was formed, the goal was World Cup glory, to forever etch the name Melmond in the World Cup history books. They saw the ways of doing that was by either hosting the cup, or getting a first, second, or third place result. Now they have the chance to achieve to penultimate goal in this very winnable match against Liverpool England. One can sense a fear from the supporters of Liverpool England in facing the Fearless Farmers. In all their predictions, they have predicted Melmond to lose everytime and were only correct recently with Melmond’s close call loss to Rejistania. These sides met once before in the Cup of Harmony four years ago in Cockbill Street, where Melmond thrashed the Philosophers 3-nil in a match that Liverpudlian English would like to forget and Melmondians would love to remind them about. With all the on and off field tension between these two sides and the stakes of this match, it should be amazingly entertaining. One thing that will make it more interesting is the entertainment that Melmond employed in the national anthem. Originally if Melmond was to make it to the finals, they were going to have Stillint Hecloset, the midget Matt Bellamy impersonators, and Muse themselves dressed up as Tick characters (Matt as the Tick, Chris as Arthur, and Dom as American Made.) However, instead we are going to have to settle for the band Metric, who will perform their salute to Liverpool England, “Wet Blanket,” as well as the Melmondian National Anthem. In terms of the starting lineup, Manager David Bixler will not have key defender Trav Strachan due to a yellow card suspension, however feisty defender Veronica Dean should do just as good of a job. Here is the starting lineup for the Fearless Farmers.

GK- Snhp Xtfuinxm
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Charles Unne
D- Veronica Dean
M- Fwynj Otsjx
M- Alfred Smith
M- Critandi Unne
M- Cristina Antunez
F- Ojfssnsj Xrnym
F- Tim Remans

For tickets to Vilita and the match call the Therewegoes Travel Agency at 3-18-357-9009. Vilita has really redefined itself since the days they hosted the Cup of Harmony 12 years ago. They have a great balance between tropical environmental sights and modern pleasures. Some tickets surprisingly still available!

Sirake Tekim: Hejida listeners, I thought about not saying anything about the match RejisCAST is about to broadcast since every rejistanian citizen knows that today semifinal, but then I remembered that there are non-rejistanis, who might listen to this station. So for all foreigners: Today is the semifinal of the world cup and Elin Ri is for us in Kaze Progressa. Hejida Elin!

Mijir Ri: Hejida Sirake, I am not Elin, Mijir Ri.

ST: and where is Elin?

MR: Elin? Somewhere, I able not say he is where.

ST: Who are you anyways?

MR: Brother of Elin. Here to help with "texnolojiha", Elin able not do everything moderating while.

ST: Can you tell me in majuvedian, where he is?

MR: Yes. (silence)

ST: Do it!

MR: Eje'i Likija...

ST: Okay, our moderator apparently is in the bathroom.

MR: Not bathroom, not getting clean!

ST: Well, it is said when you... Eje'e Likija

MR: Likiji

ST: I do not speak majuvedian well.

Elin Ri: Hejida listeners, took a bit longer than expected. Mijir took over the broadcast?

ST: I could not avoid it!

ER: Well, someone had to do it.

ST: If no one did, I would have blamed the router.

ER: Yeah, that's the only thing that piece of junk is good for, to be blamed!

ST: Abysmali technology, what do you expect?

ER: Is the KaMaRi public transport run by Abysmalis too?

ST: (laughs) most likely!

ER: Well, I think we filled our off-topic quota for today!

ST: Right, tell me about the roster of the Melmondis

ER: I think my PC has a problem.

ST: again?

ER: Instead of some names, just a wild combination of letters is shown.

ST: Like?

ER: Snhp Xtfuinxm (he spells the name) for goalkeeper.

ST: That is his name.

ER: The name of the goalkeeper?

ST: Yes.

ER: How is it pronounced?

ST: No idea...

ER: k... anyways: defenders are Jonsi Torrini, Sergio Ortiz, Charles Unne and Trav Strachan. Now we again have an unpronouncable name in the midfield: Fwynj Otsjx (spelled again) then Alfred Smith, former SLS R player Critandi Unne and Cristina Antunez. Forwards are Ojfssnsj Xrnym (spelled again) and Tim Remans.

ST: Critandi Unne.. most rejistanis still remember hir.

ER: her?

ST: hir, Critandi is genderqueer.

ER: Ah, I was not sure about the english word. I planned to use mi, that does not sound as artificial.

ST: Mi can mean it...

ER: Yes, but mi is used for persons too if you don't want to specify the sex.

ST: I know.

ER: Now for the Orange-Blues...

ST: At least they are pronouncable...

ER: Ninu Juru is in goal, defenders are Kadu Hsen, now Sirake, tell me the next name...

ST: Sasijil..venku Dike...something...

ER: So much for pronouncable. Sasijilvenku Dikelesinivetisaru. Okay, where was I? ah right, Kadu Hsen, Sasi, Syku Kansu and Xenra Ji are the defenders. In the midfield is Hsenu Kira, Hiki Suny, Nxeni Venu and starblaydi Tuade Lue. Our forwards are Juju and SyMji.

ST: Juju?

ER: Yeah, Juju like Susu.

ST: Xkeliko Susu?

ER: Yes.

ST: Rejistanis are too inventive!

ER: Too inventive is like too rich or too successfull! Anyways, we nearly missed the start of the anthems!

(The melmondi anthem and the rejistani anthem are played, you already read the description in Melmonds RP...)

ST: I have to interrupt: we have traffic news. (Sirake reads a long list of traffic jams he mentions that the most important reason is that people want to watch the match on portable TVs)

ER: finished?

ST: Yes.

ER: The match nearly too!

ST: Come on...

ER: It's already the 4th minute! The Orange-Blues are playing pretty offensive. Most of the battle is currently taking place in the midfield

ST: Venu'he against Unne'he?

ER: Saying Unne'he is like saying Belmore'he.

ST: Eh?

ER: There's a large number of them, so you can mean several!

ST: Ah right, I was referring to Nxeni Venu vs Critandi Unne.

ER: That are the names, yes.

(11th minute)
ER: O-t-s-j-x'he's pass was intercepted, by Hsenu Kira, quick pass upfields to Juju, Torrini'he tries to interfere... Juju's past him, and... XXXXXXXXXKKKKKKKOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRAAAAAAA!! The Orange-Blues are leading 1:0!

(23rd minute)
ER: oh, Ortiz'he did not intend that... the ball was nearly accidentally reflected over the bounds. Corner kick... Suny shoots... SyMji heads... NOOOO, on the pot... the ball is reflected in! GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!
XXXXXXXXXKKKKKKKOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRAAAAAAA!!
we are leading 2:0!

(halftime)
ER: ...that's the whistle, halftime!

ST: What are your opinion on the first half?

ER: I think the Orange-Blues concentrated a bit too much on the defense after the 2:0... or too less.

ST: Too much or too less?

ER: Too much if you like offensive Hades Lavamje soccer, too less if you are from Karela.

(73rd minute)
ER: I did not think that I would see this: The Orange-Blues are apparently trying to attack again... oh, that ball was intercepted by Critandi Unne, s/he has only Nxeni and Ninu to beat... Nxeni, bah! Are you H3SR? Critandi Unne is past Nxeni Venu... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Melmond just achieved the 2:1.

(90+3rd minute)
ER: The referee indicated three minutes additional time, they ought to be over soon, but the Fearless Farmer still attack as if their life depends on it.

ST: Maybe it does.

ER: Wouldn't surprise me. O-t-s-j-x'he... a high shot to Remans'he... he heads in direction of the goal... that hit the post, the ball reflects into the field. Hsen'he clears it. befor the ball left the field, the referee blows the whistle... The match is over, THE ORANGE-BLUES ARE IN THE FINALS! Han'il, Rejistaniha!!!!!

Miscellaneous Missives From Melmond

Melmondians Overwhelming Support Rejistania in Final
In a poll taken by the wonderful people at the Melmond City Herald, the Melmondian people are overwhelmingly cheering for the favorites Rejistania to win the World Cup final over Dance 2 Revolution by a margin of 85% to 14%. There was one percent who was hoping for a calamity which would make the sides forever tied, but they are communist morons. Among the reason cited for why the people are cheering for Rejistania rather than the cinderella Dance 2 Revolution is that they feel that they should cheer for the team that eliminated them, that they want the Melmond predictions to be correct for the second time in five years since many Melmondians place big time best based on those predictions, some jealousy as they do not want a team they consider not as good as the Fearless Farmers to win, and finally the whole idea of goddess power as both Rejistania and Melmond are ran by goddesses.

Margaret Severely Sprains Ankle Playing Dance Dance Revolution
In what appears to be a blow to what any sliver of chance the side from Dance 2 Revolution had, Margaret, well know skewer of results and avid RP reader, was seen in Kaza, Kaze Progressa playing Dance Dance Revolution outside in downtown Kaza. She landed awkwardly on her right foot while trying to keep pace with the rapid spitfire of arrows as well as bear the horrible cover rendition of Queen's "We Are the Champions" blaring from the arcade speakers. Margaret and her ankle cracked under the pressure. Margaret is the one credited for the colosssal upsets in NationStates World Cup competition. With the voodoo dice meddlers expected to be in Vilita to ruin Melmond's chances, it appears that the final between Rejistania and Dance 2 Revolution will be interference free.

*a well known figure in burgundy robes and a midnight blue hooded cape sits quitely behind a hastily set up table. the indominable margaret is in a wheelchair recovering slowly from her fractured ankle. microphones from several news organizations, selected at random to provide coverage feed, have been set up on the table before her. there is a small pitcher of clear ice water with slices of lemon standing next to a crystal tumbler. she pours a bit of water into the tumbler, lifts it to her lips, and takes a sip. she takes another. then, replacing the tumbler on the table, she clears her throat.*

"I categorically deny taking part in any way in any actions that may or may not have taken place, may or may not have involved the spirit world, magic, voodoo, what-have-you, that may or may not have allegedly effected the outcome of any football matches played recently, or in the past, or in the near future. It did not happen. It will never happen. It isn't happening now."

*as an attendent begins to wheel her away, margaret takes out her emery board and goes back to cleaning the bits of chicken feather from beneath her fingernails *

I've sent TGs to the WCC members who haven't voted, with a nice typo in it. There is a 24 hour time limit so we will have results for the hosts of WC18 this time tomorrow.

Yep, We Lose - Liverpool England 3 Melmond 4

What can we say? We were outclassed by the Mlmond team who truly deserved their victory. Sirx has done a fabulous job, and hopefully he can repeat it in WC18, hopefully at home. Until then, see ya!

OOC: and finally the whole idea of goddess power as both Rejistania and Melmond are ran by goddesses.
Rejistania is run by a perfectly laizistic (sp?) government, but the rejistani population is very religous.

IC:
Idine Sala: Hejida listeners, I am Idine Sala, if you just switched on Radio RejisCAST, you won't know me. I do the broadcast only today, I retired 4 years ago. For some reason, Sirkae Tekim became ill this noon. I am no doctor, but I suspect he has finalitis.
Well, his stand-in Elin Ri is in Kaze Progressa and the stand-in for Ri'he is ill too, again I suspect finalitis. There's nothing like calling in sick on the day of the world cup final! Well, let's see if Elin Ri has finalitis too: Hejida Elin!

Elin Ri: Hejida Sirake!

IS: I am Idine Sala

ER: Sala'he? I thought we got rid of you after you changed to TV-R and later retired.

IS: I did one broadcast for my first ever radio station later, you know on the day when we became state-owned.

ER: Evil always comes back?

IS: Sirake Tekim is... ill, as well as his stand-in.

ER: I see, overdosed tranquilizer?

IS: Eh?

ER: Sirake takes tranquilising pills before reporting about World Cup matches.

IS: I must admit, you managed to make me worried, to me it sounded like calling it a day.

ER: That's as likely to me.

IS: If anyone here listens to this radio atation and knows Sirake Tekim, call him, or better visit and tell us how he's doing.

ER: You're joking? Who wants to leave the pub or house or main place in the city to look for a friend during a final?

IS: There are portable TVs.

ER: Right! So you won't miss a thing.

IS: In the city, you can simply hear the fans cheer or cry to know the score.

ER: I don't know where Sirake lives.

IS: True. Anyways: tell me about the rosters!

ER: Okay, I start with the line-up of Dance2Revolution: Paul Handplant is goalkeeper, defenders are: Jindiada Derinda, Yinto Mayyojokyin, Seriak Pioililiaysrtya and Argo Fefthkreingko...

IS: Are they seleke for slani's sake?

ER: Their names are too easy to be seleke. Actually, they are New Revolutionary. Midfielders are Fern Seriiseiineii, Iytreston Jherylyinsto and Naoki Maeda. Forwards are Thuerry Hentea and Ruun Van Mushruum.

IS: It's surely great for them to be in the final. I mean, Dance2revolution reminded me in this cup so much of Rejistania in World Cup 11

ER: Eauz is the better comparism.

IS: As far as I know, Eauz did not qualify for World Cup 13.

ER: Well, I was referring to Eauz in World Cup 13

IS: That sounds as if you are implying that the Revolutionairies will win.

ER: I didn't want that. Anyways: Our Orange-Blues are goalie Ninu Juru, defenders Kadu Hsen, Sasijilvenku Dikelesinivetisaru, Dini Y and Xenra Ji, midfielders are Hsenu Kira, Hiki Suny, Nxeni Venu and Tuade Lue. The Orange-Blue attackers are Juju and SyMji.

IS: Han'il rejistaniha!

ER: Yeah... (connection breaks down)

IS: Elin? Elin su? I think we better...

ER: Back again! Slani Abysmali tech, only works when it recieves its daily dosis of violence!

IS: that does not sound too well.

ER: That is because Abysmali technology IS not good. By the way, you explain my boss the dents in the router.

IS: Well, I'm sure he hears this broadcast.

ER: Even better! But now, the anthems start.

(The anthem of Dance2Revolution is pretty short and reminds of Dance Dance Revolution tracks. The Rejistani anthem is the known song and of course the fans sing "competition style", i.e: RejisCAST bleeps a certain passage out. Seeing that at the same time, millions, maybe even billions of fans in entire Rejistania shout the competition style version, this seems a bit hypocritical)

(2nd minute)
ER: 2nd minute, still high tempo, Maeda had something like the first chance, but Y'he did a good job in the defense.

IS: Nothing like Karelian defense.

ER: In this situation: Nothing like Karelian defenders. No System Karela is played. (certain noises are heard in the connection, we expect the worst and yes, we have a disconnect)

IS: Elin? (waits) this disconnect was presented by AbysmalConnections of Abysmalistan. Well, I'll watch the match on TV-R and tell you when the score changes. While I'm doing this, Jisu-music for you!

(13th minute)
ER: Finally! Sira... err, Idine can you hear me?

IS: No.

ER: Very funny.

IS: What is the score?

ER: Dance 2 Revolution is leading 6:0 after a double hat trick of Über.

IS: What the mer'slani?

ER: I was joking too, the score is still 0:0.

IS: Don't make jokes about the score of a final!

ER: Sorry, I could not resist. Oh my god, that's Juju, he spots SyMji, passes, SyMji... offside? Referee, this was a clear misdecision!

(45th minute)
ER: That was the whistle, the first half ended. The Orange-Blues were not as dominating as people thought they'd be. Those euphorics who predicted a 7:1 were surely proven wrong. The match took place mostly in the midfield.

IS: What do you think? Will the Orange-blues win?

ER: I never make predictions and will never do it.

IS: good! Did you hear that 1% of all Melmondians hope that the match will remain tied forever?

ER: No lesser evil?

IS: huh?

ER: Well, is there no lesser evil to support for them? For many Melmondians the Orange-Blues are the lesser evil comapred to the revolutionaries.

IS: likely, or theses people are communists.

ER: Like these players of Alpha Commune?

IS: Yes, like the crazies who sacrificed one player to the god of equality.

ER: Maybe he is here...

IS: Don't make jokes!

ER: There were no really urging chances and sometimes the ball bounced a bit strangely.

IS: Are you a conspiracy theorist?

ER: No, but I believe in presence, or how do you translate vaji?

IS: Ghost, presence, yeah... but don't tell me that you believe that he is present today.

ER: You can not lose your presence if you were sacrificed to the gods, so it might be possible that he is here. I however do not believe in direct interaction.

IS: Pooh, you are not as nuts as I thought.

ER: Sometomes I can even surprise you positively.

IS: Talking about a positive surprise: Elin Ri is alive and well. Well, not really well. Apparently he is in bed with fever, so no finalitis there.

(76th minute)
ER: Oh dear, that was a horrible mis-pass. Maeda'he has no problems with Hsen'he's attempt to pass to Sasi. He gets the ball, Sasi tries to steal it, a pretty impressive battle, Maeda'he is successfull, in good position, Sasi tries to interfere but Maeda'he dribbles past him, Maeda'he... Save by Juru'he! That was close!

(89th minute)
ER: This is most likely to go into Extra-time the last attack of Dance 2 Revolution was not successfull and ended in the Orange-Blue defense,... the Orange-Blues are preparing a counter. Hiki Suny has the ball and moves it upfields, passes to SyMji... SyMji misses! Gojna!

IS: Elin!

ER: I said "gojin"!

IS: You did say the other word...

ER: Not intentionally.

IS: Intentionally or not, don't curse in state-owned radio!

ER: That is no real curse, I hear worse things in schools.

IS: Your problem if you are only in schools for voting or watching soccer matches.

ER: The referee indicates two minutes of injury time. And about the curses: in the last match between the class of my daughter and their rivals from B, the children cursed worse then the adults. Kinda gives a new meaning to family friendly.

IS: Indeed, but please keep in mind that this broadcast is listened to by adults.

ER: Yah!

(end of regular time)
ER: That was it for the regular time, the score is still nil all. To me, this is a good omen. Until now the Orange-Blues never won a final in regular time.

IS: They were in the final only once and won there in penalty kicks, nothing much to analyse.

ER: You are forgetting World Cup 14.

IS: That final NEVER HAPPENED!

ER: It did and the Orange-Blue lost 0-1.

IS: It never happened, as well as the match against Oglethorpia!
(ooc: that match was lost 2:5)

ER: Okay, that kind of 'never happened'.

IS: Yeah, of course! I am not uneducated!

(end of first half extra time)
ER: It is a dilemma for both sides: either attacking and running into the risk of conceding or defending and having no chance to score. Both teams have a certain balanced tactic, not System Hangila and not System Karela, maybe the revolutionairies are a bit more offensive than the Orange-Blues.

ST: Offensive play of the Orange-Blues is pretty seldom.

ER: Well, for the Orange-Blues, this match was pretty much offensive, the Orange-Blues attacked more tham in the first match against Ravea.

ST: You can not compare Dance 2 Revolution to Ravea, they are much, much better.

ER: You said you can not compare these two teams and just did it.

IS: Ha... ve... You know what I ment.

(111th minute)
ER: That is Über... but Sasi is there, he steals the ball, passes upfields, to Nxeni... This looks like a counter attack! Venu'he passes to SyMji... Jindiada Derinda clears for a corner kick... That's a task for Suny'he... yes he goes there, Suny'he shoots, SyMji jumps higher than the Revolutionairy defenders... XXXXXXXKKKKKKKKKKKKOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAA! (after Elin stopped shouting, the rejistanian fans are heard) That's the 1:0!, that's the 1:0 for the Orange-Blues by Syku Lyku! (Elin Ri is not heard well over the noise, he simply remains silent after this and only the "xamjona tekne" chants are heard)

IS: Jiiee, 1:0! I guess even the remote outskirts of Kaze heard that. (we don't know if the chants are only from the stadium or if the workers of RejisCAST cheered loud enough to be heard in the sound proof room, Idine Sala reports from)

(when it is possible for Elin Ri to hear his own again)
ER: Devensi'iln! Defend your lead over the time!

(end of the match)
ER: ...only a few seconds left... and (shouts really loud) That's it! That's it! Time is over, the Orange-Blues won this match, the Orange-Blues won the world cup 1:0 in extra time! JIE! (the connection breaks down as well as the order in entire Rejistania, but no one cares. The Orange-Blues won and that means the entire country of Rejistania became one big celebration)

Miracles Abound!
So Many Happened That We Can’t Fit It on This Sub-Headline
By Henry Kalangalangalang of the Melmond City Herald

ALIKKI-CORRA, VILITA—Of course, the super ultimate goal of winning an entire World Cup was out of the reach for the Fearless Farmers of Melmond with their heartbreaking 2-1 loss to Rejistania, however that disappointing result didn’t diminish any hint of the competitive spirit within the Melmond National Team. The proclaimed goal from day one since the establishment of the Melmond Football Association and the National Team is what they called “World Cup Glory.” They defined it as a feat which would forever engrave their name in NationStates World Cup history, which would be being a host for a World Cup or a first, second, or a third place finish in a World Cup. As we all know, the vote for hosting the World Cup is upon us very shortly, with the Melmond-NEWI Cefn Druids bid in a statistical deadheat among likely WCC voters with the Bedistan-Eauz bid. However, there is a much easier way in order to achieve that goal of World Cup Glory, win one game, against a team you slaughtered 3-nil four years ago. This match in Vilita, the third place match against Liverpool England.
Unlike the all the matches the Melmond National Team played in Kaze Progressa, they were treated to absolutely dismal weather in Vilita. The skies were dark gray in the Alikki-Corra afternoon and were dumping buckets of rain on the water-logged pitch. I suppose that is the price you pay when you have such a nice lush, green, and tropical nation like Vilita, you need lots of rain to maintain the environment it has, and today was the day for the deluge. However, the referee, Jeruselem’s David Solomon, decided to keep things as planned as the only thing cancelled was the performance by Earth band Metric, who was not going to perform Melmond’s National Anthem as well as the song “Wet Blanket.” Instead, they had Melmond defender and captain Jonsi Torrini, who has a surprisingly high voice for a guy, do a beautiful rendition of the Melmondian National Anthem.
The wet pitch wreaked havoc on both sides during the match, especially the defences of both sides. Liverpool England had a very good gameplan coming into the match, the well known game plan for taking on the Fearless Farmers, attack early and often. However, something seemed really odd about the Melmond defence in the early going. At the 5th minute, after Melmond midfielder Cristina Antunez slipped on the wet pitch, the ball was picked up by Liverpool England midfielder Joseph Cummings. Cummings began the counterattack with a pass to fellow midfield mate Timothy Dennard. The Melmond defence seemed to be in the right positions to stop whatever attack the Philosophers were dreaming of, but the defenders couldn’t perform their trademark close and physical marking. It appeared as if a force field was keeping the defenders away from the Liverpool England strikers, as their striker Kelvin Johnson was wide open and Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm was hung out to dry as he had a minimal chance to stop Johnson’s upcoming shot. Alas, he came up short and Liverpool England took the early 1-nil lead.
As Melmond midfielder Critandi Unne kicked off the ball, reports were spread that according to the white mages brought in by the Melmond Football Association that there was voodoo dice activity in the stadium. The search party went out in the stadium to find the long searched for voodoo dice thieves. Anyway, by the 12th minute, it was much too late for the Melmond National Team to get the benefits of stopping the voodoo dice culprits as Liverpool England striker Kelvin Johnson scores another goal and puts the Philosophers up two-nil.
At the 16th minute however, there was much commotion in the crowds, as a group of Melmondian white mages and Vilitan security guards were chasing two men. One was masquerading as a Melmond supporter wearing a replica of the Late Guy Santos’ jersey for his Melmond club side Lee Grays. The other was wearing sunglasses and an obviously fake beard and was wearing a replica of a Flash Oaker jersey. They were throwing bananas, rocks, garbage, and old bananas found in the garbage which were as hard as rocks. Eventually they were caught as they toppled the souvenir wagon. The culprits have been identified as well known people in the NationStates footballing world, Joao Cannon and Steve Ribiero from the former Brazillico. Their motives for ruining many Melmondian dreams are as of yet unknown but there is always speculation of what they might be. Anyway the voodoo dice was confiscated and turned right away by the Melmond white mages to a spicy treat.
Now the sides were playing a true, clean match, well as clean as it will ever get due to how muddy the pitch is. At the 22nd minute, Melmond finally made their mark on the scoreboard due to a dazzling dribbling display by Melmond striker Tim Remans. Remans weaves through two Liverpool England defenders and beat Liverpool England goalkeeper Mark Hearne Jr. in order to cut the lead in half as it is now a 2-1 Philsopher lead.
However, at the 35th minute, this Liverpool England side wanted to prove that their two goals weren’t just a fluke created by voodoo dice. That especially went for the scorer of the first two goals, Kelvin Johnson. Johnson would have been usually marked by playmaker shutdown extraordinaire, Melmond’s Trav Strachan. However, Strachan was serving a yellow card suspension. In his place is Veronica Dean, a feisty and physical striker in her own right, but rather inexperienced at 19. Her inexperienced showed as she rushed too quickly to help out her fellow defenders as one of the other Liverpool England strikers, Chris Hawkins, appeared to be ready to take the shot. She neglected Johnson and Hawkins makes a touch pass to Johnson who was right on the doorstep and drilled the ball in the back of the net. Kelvin Johnson gets his hat trick in this pivotal match and the Philosophers will take the 3-1 lead with them into half time as Melmond seemed to be returning to the disappointing style which they were so well known for before this World Cup.
However, this now is a completely different scenario. The Melmond National Team was rejuvenated right when David Bixler took over the managership. The voodoo dice people have been apprehended and Melmond finally has its chance to cement itself in NationStates World Cup history. Also, if we look at the Liverpool England side, they have a native of Abysmalistan as their manager. If Melmond loses to any team with anything associated to Abysmalistan, they will not hear the end of it.
Anyway, this situation fully fitted the Melmondian outlook on life: it is what you make of it. They are at least two goals away from the dream of World Cup glory, and now they have to make it. The second half was very hard fought throughout the match. At times it was hard to discern who was on which team as all the players’ uniforms were covered in mud. That mud was used to a big advantage by the Fearless Farmers.
The first instance was a clever use of the mud we haven’t seen since a match against The Confederate. Melmond striker Tim Remans should be called “ricochet” for his ability to redirect other player’s shots into the net. Okay, he is now officially affixed that nickname. In this case, Melmond midfielder Critandi Unne was making a long pass to Melmond striker Ojfssnsj Xrnym. However, noticing that the Liverpool England defence was leaning toward Xrnym, Remans runs as fast as he can through the muck and then makes a long mud-gliding slide to redirect the ball ever so slightly to take Liverpool England keeper Mark Hearne Jr. by surprise. A goal for Melmond and Tim Remans’ second of the match at the 55th minute as Melmond is only behind a goal now.
However, the equaliser was going to come as Melmond has a chokehold of the momentum. Liverpool England seemed to be playing a virtual System Karela trying to deal with the added pressure of the hungry Melmond attack. A play much like the last one in which Melmond scored a goal was developing, but instead of ricocheting the ball into the net, Tim Remans slides in the mud to get mud in the eye of Liverpool England goalkeeper Mark Hearne Jr. to temporarily blind him. Melmond midfielder Critandi Unne’s pass to striker Ojfssnsj Xrnym was right on target and Xrnym scores the equaliser at the 69th minute. Ironically, the third place match is knotted up at a high scoring 3-3 tie.
But the momentum was massive and Melmond was going to pull of the miracle. In these weather conditions, defending against Melmond defender Jonsi Torrini’s corner kick usually is much easier as there is no way he can get the traction to pull off his infamous Acosta-Audioslavia arc corner kick. However, he didn’t need to resort to that kick. He let of a solid corner in which Melmond striker was able to outleap everyone in the fray to head the ball in the net. Melmond makes the improbable comeback and takes the 4-3 lead at the 83rd minute and will eventually keep that lead to get third place and a place cemented in World Cup history and lore!
It was a night of miracles. Melmond, in their first ever World Cup, achieves third place, not the ultimate glory but glory nonetheless. The voodoo dice culprits: Joao Cannon and Steve Ribiero were caught and apprehended. And Liverpool England, notorious known for being a side of sore losers, shook hands with the Melmond National Team and congratulated them on a match well done. They truly proved that they no longer need to be called “the Wet Blankets.” Also, in the championship match, Rejistania beat Dance 2 Revolution 1-nil. Since many Melmondians bet according to the national predictors, many Melmondians won a heap of money for betting on Rejistania, the team most Melmond publication picked to win it all, right from the beginning when the odds were a bit longer than they were for the game itself. The win improved Melmond’s economy from good to strong! What a miraculous night!

Goals
Johnson, LEN 5th
Johnson, LEN 12th
Remans, MEL 22nd
Johnson, LEN 35th
Remans, MEL 55th
Xrnym, MEL 69th
Remans, MEL 83rd

Cards
None

Standings

Team Stats
Goals: Tim Remans (5), Ojfssnsj Xrnym (3), Critandi Unne (2), Jonsi Torrini (1)
Cards: Trav Strachan (2), Charles Unne (1)

Melmond World Cup Schedule (first 6 in Kaze Progressa, last in Vilita)

v Commerce Heights (Westside Stadium, Gauralan) T 1-1
v Dennisov (Irafma Lakeside Arena, Quarua) W 2-0
@ Kaze Progressa (Progressair Stadium, Kaza) L 1-0
v Svecia (Gateway Arena, Taqizerr) W 2-1
v Starblaydia (Archway Stadium, Farela) W 1-0
v Rejistania (Irafma Lakeside Arena, Quarua) L 2-1
v Liverpool England (Tivali Ring Stadium, Alikki-Corra) W 4-3

So many upsets.... and the 2nd ranked team wins it all :p

Congratulations Rejistania and commiserations to D2R. Heres hoping Rejis will learn to win a world cup final within 90 minutes in future :p

Rejistania champions!

D2R hold Rejistania until the 111th minute.

This was it. The defining moment of D2R sporting history. After playing their first competitive game 22 years ago against Gaadland(Which the Revolutionaries won 3-1) in the Baptism of Fire Cup 1. A World Cup Final. Again rank outsider's to the heavily favoured Rejistanians, but no-one was writing the Revolutionaries out yet. The WC17 Finals squad was:


#1 GK: Handplant
#3 LD: Derinda
#13 CD: Mayyojokyin
#22 CD: Pioililiaysrtya
#6 RD: Fefthkreingko
#4 DMC: Jherylyinsto
#14 LM: Seriiseiineii
#7 RM: Nerventyanorgonu
#8 AMC: Maeda
#9 FC: Hentea
#10 FC: Van Mushruum

Subsitutions:

#13 GK: Jump
#5 LD: Banvstrecko
#11 LM: Nergientionaj
#17 RM: "El Salvador"
#29 FC: Qwertz
#36 FC: Über


The Dance 2 Revolution Anthem, Sakurevolution, was played first. Followed by the Rejistanian Anthem.

D2R won the toss and elected to take the kick-off. The ball was given to Maeda, who, like always, dribbled through the midfield but was stopped dead by Y. D2R had never played against such a defensive minded team before.

In the 14th minute, Juju saw SyMji in space and gave a beautifully lofted through pass over the head of Derinda, SyMji converted, but it did not count as the linesman deemed SyMji off-side. Arguments with the linesman and referee were lucky to finish with no bookings.

After half-time, many people who predicted a wash out were proven wrong. A well fought midfield battle rather than a complete one-sided goal-fest. Über came on for Van Mushruum at half time.

In the 76th minute, Maeda intercepted a pass aimed at Sasi by Hsen. Maeda then used his skill to get past Sasi, but not after Sasi delayed Maeda enough for the defensive positions of Rejistania to be restored, Maeda then struck the ball well but Juru equaled the shot with a fantastic save.

In the final minutes of the match, Über went for a run with the ball, but was stopped by Suny. Suny released the ball up field towards SyMji. SyMji prepared a shot, but made a complete hash of it, sending it wide.

At the end of the second half, the scores were level and in came Extra Time. Something that, before the WC17 Semi-Finals, had only occurred twice in D2R’s history, both 22 years ago in the Baptism of Fire.

Nothing much happened in the first half of extra time, D2R seemed to be waiting for a break near the closing stages of Extra Time, or for the Penalty Shoot-Outs.

In the 111th minute, Über took the ball to the outside of the box, but was dispossessed by Sasi, many Revolutionaries appealing for a foul but the referee was having none of it as Sasi took it to Vanu, who passed instantaneously to SyMji. The ball was thumped back for a corner kick, but Suny got the ball before it went out and thumped it towards goal. Handplant could only parry the ball and it went skyward. SyMji jumped up to get the header and beat Derinda to it…It became 1-0! All revolutionary players on the pitch put their heads in their hands. The game had slipped away.

FINAL WHISTLE

The Rejistanian players did a lap of honour whilst the Revolutionary players sat in the centre circle, disappointed yet not exactly surprised.

The D2Rian players received their runners up medals and celebrated to the third of the crowd containing Revolutionary supporters. This was the end of the greatest run for D2R sports, and maybe the end of the run for a few revolutionary players, who may declare international retirement before World Cup 18 in Bedistan and Eauz.

Dance 2 Revolution played their first match ever in, or against, Political allies Kaze Progressa. And though it was a loss, it was not a failure or a disappointment.

Dance 2 Revolution’s shocks through WC17:

Play-Offs: Oglethorpia 0 – 1 Dance 2 Revolution
2nd Group Stage Day 3: Dance 2 Revolution 4 – 2 Squornshelous
Quarter Finals: Dance 2 Revolution 3 – 2 Total n Utter Insanity
Semi-Finals: Liverpool England 1 – 2 Dance 2 Revolution (AET)

Dance 2 Revolution WC17 Record:
Played – 22
Won – 12
Drawn – 2
Lost – 8
Goals Scored - 43
Goals Conceded – 33

Dance 2 Revolution Overall
Played - 115
Win - 58
Draw - 23
Lose - 34
Goals For - 159
Goals Against - 127


See you in Bedistan/Eauz! THE World Cup Finalists