World Cup 14 RP Thread [Archive]

Oglethorpia

30-04-2004, 02:49

World Cup 14 RP Thread

Proudly sponsored by the Eclectic Lemming Corporation of Lemmitania: "State-owned since forever, it seems."
Makers of the famed Electric Lemming Chickenizer, the ChickA-Live Electric Chicken Deboner and the ELC Roadkill Rejuvenator!

OOC:

Here it is, folks. The bonafide World Cup 14 RP thread. Group draws are at the end of this post.

IC:

LINKS
Pre-World Cup 14 RP Thread (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=141006&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0)
World Cup 14 Scores (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3111637)
World Cup Rosters (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3077618#3077618)
World Cup 14 Signups (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=133124&highlight=)
The Big Book of World Cup Rules (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=138502&highlight=)
NationStates World Cup Link Page (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=137884&start=0)

The Bureaucratic Tribune
BUREAUCRATIC STATES FA & KINGSFORD FA PRESS RELEASE

Oglethorpia and Kingsford are proud to be selected by the World Cup Commitee as hosts of the 14th iteration of the World Cup. The two regional neighbors are fully committed to ensuring that the Cup will run as smoothly as possible, having taken every consideration. The Bureaucratic States [of Oglethorpia] and the Holy Republic [of Kingsford] are pleased to bring the Cup to the Emerald Heights for the first time in the region's history.

World Cup 14 in Oglethorpia & Kingsford will mark the first time the Cup proper will have came to Oglethorpia in twenty-four years -- and thirty-two to Kingsford, though the two nations were not neighbors in the pre-WC12 days.

The road to World Cup 14 will begin with the selection of a corporate sponsor -- a tradition which seemed to die out following the conclusion of World Cup 7. Oglethorpia and Kingsford will make the selection jointly, based on the quality of the sponsor's bid.

Once again, Oglethorpia and Kingsford look forward to running a prosperous World Cup 14.

-- Mel Green, President of the Bureaucratic States Football Association
-- John Lavalais, President of the Kingsford Football Association

---

The Bureaucratic Tribune
WORLD CUP EDITION! That means it costs more, so hand it over.

Sponsor to be chosen before qualifying
Bureaucratic States FA officials have asserted that the World Cup 14 corporate sponsor will be chosen before WC14 qualifying

By Bill Christmas

THE EMERALD HEIGHTS (BT) -- With group draws complete, the road to World Cup 14 in Oglethorpia and Kingsford is nearly ready to be set upon. All that's left for the respective Football Associations of Kingsford and Oglethorpia to do is to select the World Cup 14 corporate sponsor, with heated competition between corporations from Brazillico, Tanah Burung and Lemmitania.

Spokesmen from the Bureaucratic States have asserted that the World Cup 14 corporate sponsor will be chosen before the beginning of the first World Cup 14 qualifying matches -- further adding that "that means the corporate sponsor will be selected by tomorrow [Friday.]" Which we also deduct means that qualifying matchday 1 will take place on Saturday.

Kingsford Football Association officials stood solid by their Emerald Heights neighbors/peers in Oglethorpia by adding "what he said."

With the corporate sponsor bid deadline set at Thursday night (specificially 12 PM PST [GMT -8]) officials from the Holy Republic [of Kingsford] and the Bureaucratic States [of Oglethorpia] will make the selection of which company will assume the prestigious title of official World Cup 14 host -- their name and slogan to be slapped on everything possible during the length of World Cup 14.

Following the decision, the 102 entrants of World Cup 14 can look forward to the fresh start of a new World Cup.

---

SEMI IC/KINDA OOC:

In case you didn't figure it out, here's the plan.

FRIDAY: Oglethorpia and Kingsford select the World Cup 14 corporate host.*
SATURDAY: Matchday 1 qualifying results.

[Following the beginning of qualifying on Saturday, World Cup 14 qualifying results will be posted daily -- matchday 2 on Sunday, matchday 3 on Monday, and so on and so forth.]

Note*: Corporate sponsor information posts can be found here (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3073150#3073150) & here. (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3078467#3078467) (Please keep corporate sponsor bids in the World Cup 14 sign-up thread.)

Re-posted from the Pre-World Cup 14 RP Thread (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=141006&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0), here are the guidelines that the co-hosts of World Cup 14 have agreed to follow.

GUIDELINES
RP BONUS
A. based on a yes/no system of application, rank bonus equal to 1/8 of your current rank. World Cup 14 qualifying matchday 1-3 RP bonuses will be determined by RPs here OR by posting a roster in the WC14 roster thread* (the link can be found above.) Doing both will not result in a bigger RP bonus -- it's this or this, essentially. You either get a bonus or not -- and to accomplish earning a bonus, you RP here or post a roster in the World Cup roster threads.

B. Matchdays 1-3 bonuses will be determined by RP (or by posting a roster) before those 3 matchdays take place. Hence, the RP bonus for matchdays 4-6 will be based on RP during matchdays 1-3 -- essentially meaning that the last three matchdays do not require RP, though it is encouraged. A further explanation on how the RPing bonus will be applied to score generation can be found here. (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3030323#3030323)

ROSTERS -- the roster thread can be found here. (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3077618#3077618) Your opponents in World Cup 14 will appriciate it if you post a roster. Please do, if you want to RP. The relationship between posting a roster and RP bonus is outlined in the above section titled "RP Bonus."

SCHEDULE -- World Cup 14 is planned to begin three days after the conclusion of World Cup 13. Group draws will be announced following the end of World Cup 13, and a day after that, qualifying matchday 1 will take place, 1 matchday per real-life day.

SCORE DISSEMINATION -- Qualifying scores will be posted in a World Cup 14 scores thread, to be drawn up when the group draws are made. Two days later, qualifying matchday 1 scores will be posted in the scores thread. First round matches and beyond will be telegrammed to the participating nations and posted for all to behold a day later, regardless if the match has been RPed or not.

---

The World Cup 14 qualifying group draws are as follows.

GROUP 1
Audioslavia (6)
The Eagles Nest (11)
Total n Utter Insanity (24)
East Spaam (39)
Grand master Mark (56)
New Montreal States (72)
Presgreif
Larkinia
Kendelstand
New Luca

GROUP 2
Lemmitania (5)
Cockbill Street (19)
Kaze Progressa (31)
Creedence Clearwater (44)
Gaddland (57)
Steve's Island (73)
Cicera
Dreyar
Thoroughbreds
G Bugles

GROUP 3
Halfassedstates (7)
Ravenspire (21)
Snub Nose 38 (33)
NEWI Cefn Druids (48]
The Redavic Union (55)
Pablicosta (76)
The Evil Umpire [Melmond puppet]
Holy lndia [Commerce Heights puppet]
Tepalguana
Airenguo

GROUP 4
Rejistania (4)
Sqournshelous (15)
Tanah Burung (23)
Iansisle (36)
Praying2God (41)
Vilita (66)
Hawcoat (96)
Crystilakere (123)
Danilotown
Ineptia

GROUP 5
Commerce Heights (8]
Svecia (13)
Oddslavo (28] [Liverpool England puppet]
Stalag 5 (35)
Lovisa (49)
Magnus Valerius (61)
Lennon Marx (96)
The Fivefold Star
Makongo-Wodimalongo
Dead Man

GROUP 6
Bedistan (3)
Kerla (17)
Dennisov (27)
Belmorian Scandinavia (37)
Tadjikistan (58]
Intelligent Madness (92)
Aerigia (123)
Keyshona
Bobbystan
Vollmeria

GROUP 7
The Lowland Clans (9)
Liverpool England (22)
Mattigool (38]
NASTIC 2 (47)
Runaway Moose (60)
The Republican Army (70)
Winged Animals
New Kingman
Anitram
Turnia

GROUP 8
Spaam (2)
The Belmore Family (20)
Dance 2 Revolution (32)
Alex The Tall (46)
Lovebug (63)
Raptor Claw (78]
Tingitana [Bedistan puppet]
ElephantandCastle
Dadostan
Carpet [NEWI Cefn Druids puppet]

GROUP 9
Gesamtkuntswerk (9)
Giant Zucchini (16)
One Red Dot (29)
Aquilla (42)
Jeruselem (50)
Wella (71)
Nanakaland
Clearwater
Shang-Ti
The mighty spurs

GROUP 10
Eauz (1)
Europa Britannia (12)
Brazillico (26)
The Weegies (40)
EL CID THE HERO (52)
Melmond (62)
Largent (116)
The Confederate
Lallania
Oceaice [Crystilakere puppet]

---

FIXTURES

Matchday 1
1 vs. 10 | 2 vs. 9 | 3 vs. 8 | 4 vs. 7 | 5 vs. 6

Matchday 2
10 vs. 6 | 7 vs. 5 | 8 vs. 4 | 9 vs. 3 | 1 vs. 2

Matchday 3
2 vs. 10 | 3 vs. 1 | 4 vs. 9 | 5 vs. 8 | 6 vs. 7

Matchday 4
10 vs. 7 | 8 vs. 6 | 9 vs. 5 | 1 vs. 4 | 2 vs. 3

Matchday 5
3 vs. 10 | 4 vs. 2 | 5 vs. 1 | 6 vs. 9 | 7 vs. 8

Matchday 6
10 vs. 8 | 9 vs. 7 | 1 vs. 6 | 2 vs. 5 | 3 vs. 4

Matchday 7
4 vs. 10 | 5 vs. 3 | 6 vs. 2 | 7 vs. 1 | 8 vs. 9

Matchday 8
10 vs. 9, 1 vs. 8 | 2 vs. 7 | 3 vs. 6 | 4 vs. 5

Matchday 9
5v s. 10 | 6 vs. 4 | 7 vs. 3 | 8 vs. 2 | 9 vs. 1

*The first number in the fixtures denotes the home team.
*Simply flip the fixtures around for matchdays 10-18.

Vilita

30-04-2004, 03:10

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/ao/vn.gif
!!! BREAKING NEWS !!!

Regional Leaders Collide in WCQ XIV

The Colony of Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) and The Armed Republic of Crystilakere (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=crystilakere), Founder and Delegate of the Atlantian Oceania (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/18079/page=display_region/region=atlantian_oceania) region, respectively, have been drawn together in Group 4 of the World Cup 14 Qualifying Stage. Also noted are Perennial Favorites Rejistania, and notables Tanah Burung, Ianisle and Ineptia. First Time reports from the Vilita Camp is they will be direly awaiting the matches against Rejistania as the biggest matches in the history of the National Team. This will also mark the first time two members of the Atlantian Oceania (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/18079/page=display_region/region=atlantian_oceania) region have faced it's other on the NationStates stage.

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/vc.gif

GROUP 4
Rejistania (4)
Sqournshelous (15)
Tanah Burung (23)
Iansisle (36)
Praying2God (41)
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) (66)
Hawcoat (96)
Crystilakere (123)
Danilotown
Ineptia

Vilita

30-04-2004, 03:10

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/g4.gif

Team Profiles & Projected Finishing Postions:
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

1>http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/rejistania.jpg Rejistania
Rejistania is a name synonymous, not only throughout Vilita, but throughout the entire NationStates community, with excellence in sport. At the World Cup, this is no different. A Past Winner and Host of the great event, Rejistania will be as ready as ever, and should easily walk away with the Top Qualification Spot in Group 4.
2>http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/iansisle.jpg Iansisle
Ianisle is a name unknown to Vilitans on the field, but off the field, many will be familiar with the country that has been subject to many VOIA reports in recent months. This should add interest to an otherwise un-interesting game to the every day Vilitan.
3>http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/squornshelous.jpg Squornshelous
Squornhshelous' name preceeds them when it comes to the World Cup. Always well ranked and full of potential, they seem to perfectly fit the mold of the "Also didn't finish last" group. While they are unlikely to completely falter in this qualifying stage, They will need to rebuild squad confidence if they are to make a run at the final.
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

4>http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/east_timor.jpg Tanah Burung
Like Ianisle, Tanah Burung will be a name completely foreign to the world of Vilitan sport, but the everyday news watcher will know well of the watchful eye VOIA has been keeping on them in recent times.
5>http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/vilita.jpg Vilita
Santo Kecker will again lead the Jungle Cats in their quest for World Cup qualification. Jurgen Ramzi, who missed the WCIII squad due to personal committments, will be ready to make a major impact supporting the midfield this time around. Inexperienced defender Mark Price misses out due to the return of Ramzi. Helmut Vilkaus will again lead from the sidelines and Massimo Corsi is expected to retain his position in Net.
6>http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/united_states--56.jpg Praying2God
Praying2God will likely use WCQXIV as a build up to their WCXV Campaign. A strong showing here could move them up in the rankings and into contention for a better draw next time around.
7>http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/ineptia.jpg Ineptia
While this is the first World Cup for Ineptia, no one can doubt their potential. One of the single largest nations in the World, Ineptia will have the largest pool of talent to choose from in their maiden qualification run than any team in the history of the sport. While the experience of some of the other sides will likely show through in the end, If there is any unranked team capabable of causing a dent in the Qualifying Process, it is inevitably Ineptia.
8>http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/crystilakere.jpg Crystilakere
Crystilakere is a long standing ally of the Colony of Vilita. Together, they have shared the Founder and Delegate roles in the Atlantian Oceania region almost since it's inception some time ago. However, on the sporting stage, they are fierce rivals. The Vilitans have had the upper hand in recent years, as their current World ranking shows, However when these two sides step out on the pitch, whats on paper stays on paper, and it becomes a classic battle royale between two regional powers with only one goal in mind, defeating their arch sporting rivals.
9>http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/st_pierre_and_miquelon.jpg Hawcoat
Hawcoat is entirely unknown both to Vilita Sport and to VOIA. It is not believed that they will cause much of a challenge to the Jungle Cats this campaign.
10>http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/danilotown.jpg Danilotown
Danilotown is entirely unknown both to Vilita Sport and to VOIA. It is not believed that they will cause much of a challenge to the Jungle Cats this campaign.

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/sched.gif
M01:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [2] Praying2God <- [Match Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3111724#3111724)]
M02:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [0] Ineptia <- [Match Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3117831#31)]
M03:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [1] Hawcoat [Match Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3122533#31)]
M04:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [3] - [1] Crystilakere <- [Match Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3125618#31)]
M05:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [2] - [2] Daniltown
M06:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [4] Rejistania <-
M07:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [0] - [0] Squornshelous
M08:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Tanah Burung <-
M09:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Ianisle
M10:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Praying2God
M11:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Ineptia
M12:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Hawcoat <-
M13:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Crystilakere
M14:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Daniltown <-
M15:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Rejistania
M16:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Squornshelous <-
M17:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Tanah Burung
M18:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [] - [] Ianisle <-

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

Current Group 4 Standings:

[code:1:51e3ee32ea]
GROUP 4 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Sqournshelous 2 2 0 0 8 0 +8 6
Tanah Burung 2 2 0 0 8 2 +6 6
Praying2God 2 2 0 0 4 1 +3 6
Rejistania 2 1 0 1 3 2 +1 3
Vilita 2 1 0 1 2 2 0 3
Crystilakere 2 1 0 1 3 5 -2 3
Iansisle 2 0 1 1 3 4 -2 1
Hawcoat 2 0 1 1 2 4 -2 1
Ineptia 2 0 0 2 0 4 -4 0
Danilotown 2 0 0 2 1 10 -9 0
[/code:1:51e3ee32ea]

Vilita

30-04-2004, 03:10

Vilita National WCXIV Qualifying Round Predictions:
[code:1:21c39814b9]

-----------GROUP 1
Total n Utter Insanity (24)
Audioslavia (6)
The Eagles Nest (11)
-----------
East Spaam (39)
Grand master Mark (56)
Larkinia
New Montreal States (72)
New Luca
Presgreif
Kendelstand

-----------GROUP 2
Lemmitania (5)
Creedence Clearwater (44)
Cockbill Street (19)
-----------
Kaze Progressa (31)
Steve's Island (73)
Gaddland (57)
Cicera
G Bugles
Dreyar
Thoroughbreds

-----------GROUP 3
Snub Nose 38 (33)
Halfassedstates (7)
The Redavic Union (55)
-----------
Ravenspire (21)
NEWI Cefn Druids (48)
Pablicosta (76)
Airenguo
The Evil Umpire
Holy lndia
Tepalguana

-----------GROUP 4
Rejistania (4)
Iansisle (36)
Sqournshelous (15)
-----------
Tanah Burung (23)
Vilita (66)
Praying2God (41)
Ineptia
Crystilakere (123)
Hawcoat (96)
Danilotown

-----------GROUP 5
Commerce Heights (8)
Svecia (13)
Stalag 5 (35)
-----------
Oddslavo (28)
Lennon Marx (96)
Lovisa (49)
Magnus Valerius (61)
Makongo-Wodimalongo
The Fivefold Star
Dead Man

-----------GROUP 6
Bedistan (3)
Kerla (17)
Dennisov (27)
-----------
Belmorian Scandinavia (37)
Tadjikistan (58)
Intelligent Madness (92)
Keyshona
Aerigia (123)
Bobbystan
Vollmeria

-----------GROUP 7
The Lowland Clans (9)
Liverpool England (22)
Runaway Moose (60)
-----------
Mattigool (38)
NASTIC 2 (47)
The Republican Army (70)
Anitram
Winged Animals
Turnia
New Kingman

-----------GROUP 8
Spaam (2)
The Belmore Family (20)
Raptor Claw (78)
-----------
Lovebug (63)
Dance 2 Revolution (32)
Alex The Tall (46)
Tingitana
Dadostan
ElephantandCastle
Carpet

-----------GROUP 9
Giant Zucchini (16)
Gesamtkuntswerk (9)
Aquilla (42)
-----------
One Red Dot (29)
Nanakaland
Jeruselem (50)
Wella (71)
Shang-Ti
Clearwater
The mighty spurs

-----------GROUP 10
Eauz (1)
Brazillico (26)
Europa Britannia (12)
-----------
The Weegies (40)
Melmond (62)
EL CID THE HERO (52)
Oceaice
Largent (116)
The Confederate
Lallania

[/code:1:21c39814b9]

Projected Winner of World Cup XIV:

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/audioslavia.jpgAudioSlavia

Spaam

30-04-2004, 03:23

SPAAM SPORTS DAILY

Here we go again....

Qualifying Draw Announced

The qualifying draw for the 14th Nationstates Football World Cup has been
announced, with perhaps the greatest ever rivalry in World Cup history to
finally be played out. Spaam and the Belmore Family have for a long
time been enemies, but have never played against each other in the
international arena. However, they will get the chance this time around,
as they have both been drawn into Group 8, along with a few other
entertaining teams. Even better, Spaam will be the firm favourites, as
they are currently ranked 2nd in the world, their highest ranking ever,
while the Belmore Family are currently ranked 20th, their lowest ranking
in decades.

The full list of teams in Group 8 is this:

[code:1:15f32bade5]Spaam (ranked 2nd)
The Belmore Family (ranked 20th)
Dance 2 Revolution (ranked 32nd)
Alex The Tall (ranked 46th)
Lovebug (ranked 63rd)
Raptor Claw (ranked 78th)
Tingitana (ranked > 100th)
Elephant and Castle (ranked > 100th)
Dadostan (ranked > 100th)
Carpet (ranked > 100th)
[/code:1:15f32bade5]

30-04-2004, 03:50

*tag*

Brazillico

30-04-2004, 04:29

The Brazillicratic Tribune

Group Draw Announced Today
Brazillican officials grinning like idiots after draw

By Tony Easter

(KALITA, BRA) There was a palpable sense of excitement in the FA's headquarters today. With every passing name, the buzz in the room got a little louder until it was all said and done, and officials looked around the room and started shaking hands with each other and smiling from ear to ear.

Since Brazillico returned to international competition, they never saw a Group draw which met there eye. Until now.

It's hard to be happy to be playing against a defending champion, but Eauz doesn't really strike fear in the hearts of Brazillicans. Although the side is much improved from when Brazillico beat them twice in the Harmony Cup, there are a lot of familiar faces thank to the LEAF Superleague. Brazillico knows Eauz and know that they can beat them, and paired up with the infamous "First Curse", fans shouldn't be surprised if Brazillico might just pull an upset against the Fighting Frenchmen.

As for Europa Britannia, well that's a whole other story. The teams only played once in Brazillico's World Cup debut in the second edition, where the veteran Europans handed Brazillico's collective ass to them, beating the Chili Bats 3-0. Many pundits predict that although the score will be different, the result won't likely change.

Another familiar team for Brazillico will be The Weegies, a team they were pitted against in World Cup 12's infamous Group 11. The teams splitted the series, both teams finding ways to win on the road. Since then, Brazillico has gone up while The Weegies have kicked it in reverse, but close matches should be expected.

CAREER LOSERS EL CID THE HERO HAVE ALSO BEEN DRAWN INTO GROUP 10. BRAZILLICO KNOWS VERY LITTLE ABOUT THE CID, EXCEPT THAT THEY JUST TO HANG AROUND THE MIDDLE OF THE TABLE DURING QUALIFYING. BRAZILLICO SHOULD WIN BOTH MATCHES, LOOKING TO GIVE "THE CID" A SWIFT, KICK IN THE ASS. ANYTHING LESS WOULD HAVE TO BE VIEWED AS A DISAPPOINTMENT.

Of all the cheers that went out during Group Selection, the loudest came when Melmond's name was picked. After what my superiors have authorized me to call the "Ugly incident in Melmond", Brazillico will be looking for redemption. My guess is Brazillico will absolutely destroy Melmond in the first match, and after being absolutely decimated, the Melmonders will make it a closer thing in the second.

Rounding out the somewhat established nations of Group 10 was Largent. Brazillico manhandled Largent when they faced them in qualifying last time and the same should be expected. You'll see me walking around with a shaved head if Brazillico doesn't pull two wins off against this lowly side.

Four nations will make their qualifying debut in Group 10, notably The Confederate, Lallania, Oceaice and the upper-case letter challenged The mighty spurs. More competition that Brazillico should walk over, a tie would be disappointing, a loss would be an abomination.

Group 10 Predictions
1. Europa Britannia
2. Eauz
3. Brazillico
4. The Weegies
5. Melmond
6. EL CID THE HERO
7. The mighty spurs
8. Largent
9. Oceaice
10. The Confederate
11. Lallania

(OOC-Uh oh, I think there might be a booboo there. I'd be willing to pull out Steve's Island (My puppet) so that one of the Group 10 teams move into Group 2. Cheers.)

Melmond

30-04-2004, 04:29

State of Football in Melmond
Optimism and Tragedy
By Henry Kalangalangalang of the Melmond City Herald for the NationStates Football World

A lot of high expectations were put on Melmond’s first and only national team in any sport, the Melmond National Football Team, in their first ever appearance in international play. With their pool of athletes and a football veteran at the helm as coach, many Melmondian expected nothing better than qualification. Unfortunately, Melmond was put in one of the tougher groups with Emerald Heights giants Kingsford and Tanah Burung as well as two sides who are once again on the rise in Svecia and Ravenspire. Melmond finished a distant sixth.
The Melmond Premier League sides were ready to basically sell all their best players to keep the league and its clubs afloat. However, when Melmond was announced as the host of the Cup of Harmony, interest in the sport of football once again rose in Melmond. At that moment, many Melmond Premier League clubs were able to sign their own players. Some clubs even had the finances to afford foreign players. Melmond City, Unne, and Acosta will have football-specific stadiums by the fifth season of the Melmond Premier League as well as World Cup 14 qualifying.
The Cup of Harmony was Melmond’s chance to the NationStates footballing world to show that it can be a football nation and a possible hosting nation of the World Cup in the future. However, it was sabotaged from the start. The WCC didn’t give the Melmond Football Association the resources needed to run a smooth tournament. The MFA tried its hardest to run it all by itself while some countries believed there was foul play on the MFA’s part. That anger came to a boil during a football riot at the last football match at Farmers Field in Melmond City, where the Brazillico players beat up a referee believing he was being paid by the MFA to fix the match. Mud was slung between the fans and by the individual FA’s behind the scenes. Fortunately, all is now healed between all parties and the WCC is on its way to becoming a well-oiled machine.
The amazing performance of the Melmond National Team was overshadowed by all the controversy as they won the Golden Keg, proving their talent to the world which they always knew they had. That win boosted the demand for Melmond Premier League clubs. The MPL will expand to the cities of Suburbia and Lee.
The fans should be even more demanding of the Fearless Farmers Version 2.0. Unfortunately, tragedy hit the side prior to the announcement of the roster. Star striker Taxt, who had the most goals in Melmond Premier League history, was found dead at the age of 33 due to what was apparently a self-inflicted gunshot wound. A month earlier, Taxt was in a drug-induced coma. It seemed that no one had an idea of the demons that troubled Taxt as Taxt was a rather private man, and as there was no suicide note, we may never know at all. The Melmond National Team has black armbands sewn into their uniform with the name Taxt on them.
The Melmond National Team version 2.0 looks rather similar to the one of last year. Other than the departed-too-soon Taxt, goalkeeper Cory Yankovic is the only omission, as she left the national team as well as her club Faasen Oranges to play for the Melmond City Blues and be with her husband in Melmond City. Her replacement however is an absolute stud. Snhp Xtfuinxm was basically a word-of-mouth legend in the Wzzknf region of Melmond that the Aldi Reds took a chance on. That chance has brought the Aldi Reds to the top half of the MPL as well as giving Melmond its first superstar goalkeeper. Another position of strength for Melmond is the striker position, as all four strikers on the team have starting talent. Naturalized Melmondian and native of the defunct nation of Warnocks Wizards Mornakh the Bloody Handed as well as Diallo Unne are the physical strikers. The finesse players are Benjamin Leeb, a master on the ground, and Chris Owen, a high flying player. The defence is vastly improved as Jonsi Torrini and Nina Steen have flourished playing overseas. Sergio Ortiz and Scott Cheney are consistent markers with more experience now. The midfield is a little bit of a question. Superstar Critandi Unne and speedy Camui Arai are the solid members. Martin Goodwin is getting in on years and Cristina Antunez isn’t solid to the point where she is superior to the midfielders on the bench. Either way, Melmond is expected to qualify. After all, qualifying for the first time by hosting the whole World Cup doesn’t seem right. The pressure is on.

Melmond

30-04-2004, 04:35

Melmondians Undercover!
Infiltrating the Evil Umpire
By AREYOUCRAZYDOYOUREALLYTHINKIAMGOINGTOGIVEOUTMYNAMETHEYWILLKILLME

THE EVIL UMPIRE—Lately as the Melmond National Team has been making its mark on the national stage, people have paid extra attention to their name in the news. On the sign up sheet for World Cup 14 is a mysterious nation called The Evil Umpire, which proclaims to be a puppet of Melmond. The Melmond International Affairs committee completely denies any connection between the free Melmondians and the enslaved peoples of The Evil Umpire. However, as this undercover reporter discovers, there are Melmondian roots to this nation.
Once the country reaches 500 million people, there will be a great celebration within the nation as the Armed Republic of the Evil Umpire will officially get to change its name to the Unholy Alliance of the Evil Umpire. What alliance makes up the Evil Umpire? Two regions in Holy India, the Umphir and Vamphir regions joined together with Melmondian political outsiders who call themselves “the Asshatians.”
The Asshatians were a group of people who promote fascist views throughout the entire nation of Melmond. They made an attempt at a revolution which they called “Fascism Yes! Freedom No!” The shock to the nation forced the Melmond National Team to withdraw from the first Eagle’s Cup. Ultimately, the revolution failed and the Asshatians bailed out of the country to start their own nation.
They ran into two regions in the nation of Holy India, and as both sides got into friendly terms (in more way than one I might add) with the Asshatians, the regions became one and the Evil Umpire was born. The Umphir people have notoriously had a black and white view of the world, which worked rather well with fascism. The Vamphir people are known for being bloodthirsty mercenaries and enjoy the idea of being enforcers.
The entire country is run by a small man by the name of 8-Bit. He is on the flag of the Evil Umpire as he is loved and feared. He acts like a demigod and the people of the nation really have no objections of doing everything he says.
As for the nation of football in the country, they hope to smash all freedom loving countries in the upcoming qualifying sessions. They will play their games in the National Stadium/Execution Ground of the Evil Umpire in their capital of Undisclosed Location. The Vamphir people brought their regional variation of the Holy India Tea Bag as a mascot for the Evil Umpire.
As a final word, I must say this reporter will not mention the entire vampire tea bag joke which points to what the Evil Umpire mascot really is as it is truly tasteless. Anyway, I wanna get out of here!!!!

The Evil Umpire

30-04-2004, 04:40

hello

Vilita

30-04-2004, 04:56

...nice... response?

Oglethorpia

30-04-2004, 04:58

Double post.

Oglethorpia

30-04-2004, 05:00

30-04-2004, 05:48

GROUP 4
Rejistania (4)
Sqournshelous (15)
Tanah Burung (23)
Iansisle (36)
Praying2God (41)
Vilita (66)
Hawcoat (96)
Crystilakere (123)
Danilotown
Ineptia

WARRIORS DRAWN INTO INFAMOUS "GROUP OF DEATH"

It is widely believed by experts that the Warriors have been drawn into WC XIV's edition of the group of death. Being the fifth best ranked side in their group, despite being ranked 41st in the world, indicates that the Warriors will be hard pressed to qualify. However, hopes remain high in the Warriors' camp, especially after their recent runner-up finish in The Eagle's Cup. "The thing that concerns me the most is how [Joshua] Harris will play in his return to international competition. However, we've proven that we can win with our back-up goalie, Mark Williams, who was unbelieveable for most of The Eagle's Cup," Head Coach Martin Luther told the media. It is widely believed within Praying2God that the Warriors' chances to qualify will largely depend on their ability to score points against the teams ranked above them. Let's take a look at the other teams in the Warriors qualifying group:

Rejistania (4): Definitely one of the world's elite teams, which they proved by winning WC XII. They failed to repeat while hosting the most recent WC, but they are still very tough to beat. The Warriors have never met them before, and will be hard pressed to pull out a victory against them.

Sqournshelous (15): Another one of the world's elite teams. They haven't made any notably deep runs into the WC recently, at least in this reporter's memory. However, they are still to greatly respected, and will be tough to beat. The Warriors also have never played against them before.

Tanah Burung (23): Another new team to the Warriors that ranks amongst the world's elite. Their name is more recognizeable to most newer soccer fans than Sqornshelous' because they've tended to do better in WC play and their media has been more active.

Iansisle (36): Finally a familar foe to the Warriors, albeit one that the Warriors haven't had a lot of success against. They were the victims of a piece of Warriors WC history, as the Warriors drew against them 0-0 for their first ever WC point-in just their second WC match. However, Iansisle won the other match-up and the two teams haven't played since.

Vilita (66): Another relative newcomer to WC play. They haven't had much success so far. The Warriors match up favorably against them, and could potentially pull out a pair of wins against them.

Hawcoat (96): A relatively inexperienced WC side, but is still dangerous and has the potential to have a bright future. However, the Warriors don't want to be the springboard to that brighter future, and shouldn't be...at least not during this WC.

Crystilakere (123): Another relatively inexperienced WC side, and not nearly as much of a threat as Hawcoat to the Warriors. The Warriors should be able to earn the full six points against them.

Danilotown: This is the first of two newcomers in the Warriors' group. They shouldn't be any trouble to the Warriors, but the Warriors still can't afford to take them lightly.

Ineptia: Warriors fans are hoping that this side is as inept as their name implies. However, the Warriors still can't afford to take them lightly.

Predictions:
1. Rejistania (4)
2. Tanah Burung (23)
3. Sqournshelous (15)
4. Praying2God (41)
5. Iansisle (36)
6. Vilta (66)
7. Hawcoat (96)
8. Ineptia
9. Crystilakere (123)
10. Danilotown

Oglethorpia

30-04-2004, 05:57

FIXTURES

Matchday 1
1 vs. 10 | 2 vs. 9 | 3 vs. 8 | 4 vs. 7 | 5 vs. 6

Matchday 2
10 vs. 6 | 7 vs. 5 | 8 vs. 4 | 9 vs. 3 | 1 vs. 2

Matchday 3
2 vs. 10 | 3 vs. 1 | 4 vs. 9 | 5 vs. 8 | 6 vs. 7

Matchday 4
10 vs. 7 | 8 vs. 6 | 9 vs. 5 | 1 vs. 4 | 2 vs. 3

Matchday 5
3 vs. 10 | 4 vs. 2 | 5 vs. 1 | 6 vs. 9 | 7 vs. 8

Matchday 6
10 vs. 8 | 9 vs. 7 | 1 vs. 6 | 2 vs. 5 | 3 vs. 4

Matchday 7
4 vs. 10 | 5 vs. 3 | 6 vs. 2 | 7 vs. 1 | 8 vs. 9

Matchday 8
10 vs. 9, 1 vs. 8 | 2 vs. 7 | 3 vs. 6 | 4 vs. 5

Matchday 9
5v s. 10 | 6 vs. 4 | 7 vs. 3 | 8 vs. 2 | 9 vs. 1

*The first number in the fixtures denotes the home team.
*Simply flip the fixtures around for matchdays 10-18.

Magnus Valerius

30-04-2004, 06:12

The Valerian Voice
The Voice of The People, Emperor Approved!

Valerian Boyars Drawn Into A Very Tough-Looking Group Five
by Johann Prittwitz

The draws for WC XIV have been made today, and the fate of the Valerians lie in a group with very elite players amongst them. There is a little doubt at the Imperial Estate today as the emperor reviewed the draws. Valeria is ranked sixth in the group, and it is the 61st in terms of rankings amongst the world teams. Will we see Valeria lose a difficult battle, or will we succeed with the current draws? Let's analyze the contenders.

Commerce Heights: Commerce Heights is one of the top ten elite teams in the world. Valeria will surely have trouble with Commerce Heights.

Svecia: Although not one of the top ten, Svecia is still ranked very high amongst the teams of the world.

Oddslavo: Oddslavo in Valeria had been regarded as one of the most strongest teams that were included in the group. They are regarded as a team with vast potential and Valerians will have to watch closely in the games when the Boyars compete with Oddslavo.

Stalag 5: Valerian sports agencies expect the team from Stalag 5 to be a thorn in the side. Even if they are in the 4th ranked position in the group, they are ranked 35th in world standings.

Lovisa: Lovisa is ranked 49th in the world, and the emperor believes that games from the returning Lovisa will involve the use of keen Valerian strategies in order to win. However, many sports agencies regard Lovisa not really as a problem in the grouping.

Ranked 6th in the group is Magnus Valerius. The emperor had prayed with the Archpatriarch Theodoros VII to hope for a good season. Even if we are ranked 61st in the world, this World Cup is full of promise, with a new roster and morale.

Lennon Marx: Valeria expects Lennon Marx to be a pushover in the group. It is believed that they made their debut in WC XIII, and their poor performance in that cup earned them a rank as the 96th most powerful team in the world.

The three remaining nations, The Fivefold Star, Dead Man, and Makongo-Wodimalongo are newcomers to the World Cup, and are making their debut in WC XIV. We here at The Valerian Voice wish them luck, but we will give them no mercy in our matches!

[code:1:76d4946a26]GROUP 5
Commerce Heights (8]
Svecia (13)
Oddslavo (28] [Liverpool England puppet]
Stalag 5 (35)
Lovisa (49)
Magnus Valerius (61)
Lennon Marx (96)
The Fivefold Star
Makongo-Wodimalongo
Dead Man [/code:1:76d4946a26]

Rejistania

30-04-2004, 09:17

In the rooms of the RejisFA chaos broke out during the group draw. Well, perhaps that is the wrong expression. Chaos is a normal state there but its amount increased highly during the group draw. Someone only known as Je was there to look the different nations up on his map of the world (which fills three big books and is still not up-to-date or at least complete). When the Rejis ("The Rejis" is a translation of "Rejis'tan", a rejistanian abbreviation of "Rejistaniha") was announced in Group 4, the rejistanian fortune tellers in the services of FIFA first checked if 4 is a lucky number.
The officials forgot all thought and shouted things like "Junis-Omeh'ny, jisu'iln min!" ("Orange-Blues, trash 'em!") when the old rival Squornshelous was announced also to be in group 4. The matches against Squornshelous are matches which 'never happened' as any Rejistanian would say. Unfortunately they did happen and the Orange-Blues were trashed both home and away. Since the Orange-Blues have improved in the time between WC9 and WC13 greatly, they have a chance to retaliate for that embarassing losses.
Tanah Burung was a name, which made many officials feel uncomfartable, the pure idea that the Orange-Blues have to play against clones makes people shudder (the Inikireaist religion believes that clones lack a kind of 'unity of the soul' since they share the DNA with someone else). Then everyone remembers that the clones don't play anymore and no one would admit that they feared it.
Iansisle was a team, which the Orange-Blues have experiance against. In the nation of Tranquilitis, during the Empress Supercup, the Orange-Blues and Iansisle drew 2-2. 2 points are expected from the 2 matches.
Praying2God is apparently a very religious nation and since the Empess Supercup and the Nihasa Rike incident, these nations are viewed with suspicion. The Orange-Blues never defeated a nation which is based highly on christian faith (since the only match like this was a match against Tranquilitis in Tranquilitis, this has to mean nothing).
Vilita, Hawcoat and Crystitalakere are considered to be the easier of the established teams. They are no newcomers but their rank is in the mid third.
Danilotown and Ineptia are unranked teams, of which nothing is known than the fact that they exist.

The schedule:
MD1: Rejistania vs Ineptia (in the Sike kaletri Stadium in Sike kali)
MD2: Rejistania vs Squornshelous (in the Hetlasane Hetkali Stadium in Hetkali)
MD3: Tanah Burung vs Rejistania (venue not known atm)
MD4: Rejistania vs Iansisle (in the Sen-La-Sa~o Relekhati Stadium in KaMaRi kali)
MD5: Praying2God vs Rejistania (venue not known atm)
MD6: Rejistania vs Vilita (in the Niadi Junis Stadium in Niadi kali)
MD7: Hawcoat vs Rejistania (venue not known atm)
MD8: Rejistania vs Crystilakere (in the Karela lines 'stadium' in KaMaRi kali)
MD9: Danilotown vs Rejistania (venue not known atm)
MD10: Ineptia vs Rejistania (venue not known atm)
MD11: Squornshelous vs Rejistania (venue not known atm)
MD12: Rejistania vs Tanah Burung (in the Sen-La-Sa~o Relekhati Stadium in KaMaRi kali)
MD13: Iansisle vs Rejistania (venue not known atm)
MD14: Rejistania vs Praying2God (in the KaMaRi kaletri Stadium in KaMaRi kali)
MD15: Vilita vs Rejistania (venue not known atm)
MD16: Rejistania vs Hawcoat (in the Jesejil Junis Stadium in Jesejil kali)
MD17: Crystilakere vs Rejistania (venue not known atm)
MD18: Rejistania vs Danilotown (in the KaMaRi Ines Stadium in Na~ovi kali*)

KaMaRi Ines means New KaMaRi since this club was founded by North Mintanians in Na~ovi kali.

The Lowland Clans

30-04-2004, 09:30

ASNN - Qualifying Draw Announced
James Kneehan, Sports

The Stars qualifying group was announced today, and it will be no easier than last cups. After last years disaster in the qualifiers, the Stars kicked it into high gear, only to be brought down by The Eagles Nest. This year though, things'll be a little different. With new Head Manager Jeff McKay, many expect this years team to be the exact opposite of last years. With many new players coming in, those on the team suspect that this will be the old guards final push for a cup.

Among those old guards is this years previewer, forward Quentin McKeehan. A star forward for the last five cups, McKeehan is still looking agile and powerful in his old age. His power shot has lost none of it's potency, and no one wants to get in front of that bugger. So without further adieu, let's give you, the World Cup XIV Qualifying Preview

[code:1:dbfcd4024d]GROUP 7
The Lowland Clans (9)
Liverpool England (22)
Mattigool (38]
NASTIC 2 (47)
Runaway Moose (60)
The Republican Army (70)
Winged Animals
New Kingman
Anitram
Turnia[/code:1:dbfcd4024d]

Liverpool England, is perhaps the most threatening team in this years group. Once champions, there team has taken a long, slow slide backwards. Though they beat the Stars both times they played last time they met, those were different times. this years defence focuses finesse style squad should take both games, but don't be surprised if they comeback and bite us.

Mattigool and NASTIC 2 will be fighting it out for third place, and that match looks like something to enjoy. These teams will be tough, but don't expect too much out of these guys this time around, but again, don't be surprised if they take one of our games away from us.

On the other hand, you have Runaway Moose, once one of the top teams in the world, now taking a not so short backslide towards obscurity. Expect the Stars to manhandle them both games, and them to continue their slide towards obscurity and defeat.

The Republican Army is also expected to join Runaway Moose in the scraphead of those older and forgotten teams, and those newbies who never went anywhere. The Stars should take them easily both games.

While we have four newcomers in thsi group, don't expect many of them to go too far. Winged Animals, New Kingman, Anitram, and Turnia are all expect to finidh at the bottom of the group in varying order, but never underestimate the power of the newbs, as we should've learned last cup.

[code:1:dbfcd4024d] Predicted Qualifying Table
The Lowland Clans (9)
Liverpool England (22)
NASTIC 2 (47)
Mattigool (38)
Runaway Moose (60)
The Republican Army (70)
Anitram
Winged Animals
New Kingman
Turnia[/code:1:dbfcd4024d]

Spaam

30-04-2004, 09:34

SPAAM SPORTS DAILY

More articles for your money....

World Cup Qualifying Analysis

From the analysis of the top 6 teams of each group, some things become
clear. Groups 4 and 5 are perhaps the closest teams in qualifying,
making them contenders for the title, Group Of Death. In fact, Group 4
has 8 ranked teams, as opposed to only 6 for most other groups, while
Group 5 easily has the lowest Standard Deviations. On the other hand,
Groups 6 and 8 are perhaps the easiest groups (for the top teams), with
Group 6 easily having the highest Standard Deviation, though having one
more ranked team than Group 8.

[code:1:902c399ffb]Group Average StDev
1 34.67 25.94
2 38.17 24.98
3 40.00 24.84
4 30.83 21.90 *****
5 32.33 20.45 ***
6 39.00 31.93 ***
7 41.00 22.94
8 40.17 27.99
9 36.17 22.96
10 32.17 23.50 ***

*** Has 7 ranked teams
***** Has 8 ranked teams
[/code:1:902c399ffb]

Cockbill Street

30-04-2004, 09:42

Tag.

(OOC: Can't RP due to slani RL. But it seems like, for once, we're in a group of slight pain)

(Edit: OOC: Oh, and if somebody scores, blame Harald Axewielder as usual)

Spaam

30-04-2004, 10:19

SPAAM SPORTS DAILY

It just goes on and on and on and....

Official Qualifying Predictions

Group 1
The Eagles Nest has been a suprise packet, and has managed to slip into
11th in the official KPB rankings. If their recent performance continues,
they have an excellent chance of topping this group. Audioslavia and
TnUI are the perennial bitches of the World Cup, and this may play
against them, though Audioslavia should be safe for a spot. TnUI might
have to watch out for a resurgence of East Spaam, giving a good fight for
3rd.

1. The Eagles Nest
2. Audioslavia
3. East Spaam
4. Total n Utter Insanity

Watch out for: Larkinia

Group 2

Lemmitania should easily top this group. The other two spots will be
close, but Kaze Progressa and Steve's Island may just take it out.
However, all teams will have to watch out against the famous giant-killers,
Gaddland. Look out for some exciting football from Thouroughbreds.

1. Lemmitania
2. Kaze Progressa
3. Steve's Island
4. Gaddland

Watch out for: Thoroughbreds

Group 3

There will be no suprises here, with the top 4 spots filled by the top 4 teams.

1. Halfassedstates
2. Snub Nose 38
3. Ravenspire
4. NEWI Cefn Druids

Watch our for: Holy India

Group 4

This is the group that noone wants to be in, for obvious reasons: all the
teams are good. Tanah Burung might take it out, closely followed by
Squornshelous. Rejistania should also be safe, but expect a strong
showing by Vilita. A team that just may suprise all is Ineptia. But this will
be the group to watch, and should provide some of the most exciting
football.

1. Tanah Burung
2. Squornshelous
3. Rejistania
4. Vilita

Watch out for: Ineptia

Group 5

There are some good teams here, but probably no surprises. Svecia may
pip Commerce Heights, and Oddslavo should hold out the other ranked
teams, though Lovisa does have some promise. This is another group of
death though, so be prepared for some good football.

1. Svecia
2. Commerce Heights
3. Oddslavo
4. Lovisa

Watch out for: Dead Man

Group 6

Expect a return to form for Dennisov, and some suprises from Aerigia,
who have a whole new forward pack. Bedistan should be a shoo in, but
the third spot may be tight, and Tadjikistan have been looking good.
Together with Kerla, these should be the only teams making an impact.

1. Bedistan
2. Dennisov
3. Tadjikistan
4. Kerla

Watch out for: Aerigia

Group 7

Runaway Moose are on the way back up, and should join The Lowland
Clans in the top 3. Liverpool England have not been performing, but are
still a good team, though they may be be pressured by NASTIC 2.

1. The Lowland Clans
2. Runaway Moose
3. Liverpool England
4. NASTIC 2

Watch out for: NASTIC 2

Group 8

Spaam has never had it easier, and the Belmore Family are still good
enough to qualify. The third spot will be close, but Alex The Tall may miss
out to Dance 2 Revolution. In any case, Dance are the team to watch,
while the other 6 teams should not figure.

1. Spaam
2. Dance 2 Revolution
3. The Belmore Family
4. Alex The Tall

Watch out for: Dance 2 Revolution

Group 9

The top 3 teams will make it through, with the other teams fighting for the
minor placings. Jeruselem may finish top of the rest, but keep an eye out
for the original Clearwater.

1. Gesamtkuntswerk
2. Giant Zucchini
3. One Red Dot
4. Jeruselem

Watch out for: Clearwater

Group 10

The Weegies may be on the return, but the top 3 ranked should all go
through.

1. Europa Britannia
2. Brazillico
3. Eauz
4. The Weegies

Watch out for: The Weegies

Spaam

30-04-2004, 10:59

SPAAM SPORTS DAILY

And on and on and on and....

The State Of The Heartland

The Heartland will be have its largest representation in the World Cup yet,
with 11 teams in qualifying, and many of them having fantastic
performances lately. The teams that are vying for a World Cup spot are:

Aerigia: Wooden spoons 4 years ago, but a rejuvenated team will
push them far. And they have tied with second tanked Spaam. May
surprise Group 6, and look for the local derby against Dennisov.

Clearwater: The original is back, and should rack up some wins in
Group 9. The will be aiming for the top 5, and may just make it. The
local derby against Gesamtkuntswerk should prove popular.

Dennsiov: These former world champions will qualify in Group 6,
with the highlights of their qualifying being the local derbies against
Aerigia, and the exciting games against last World Cup 3rd placed
Bedistan.

East Spaam: After a relatively poor showing last World Cup, this
team is looking to reverse their slump, and will be a hard team to beat in
Group 1.

Gesamtkuntswerk: This may be Gesamt's year, and have every
chance of topping Group 9. The highlight will be their games against
neighbours Clearwater.

Ineptia: This team has a lot of suprises, and as the leading nation
in the Heartland, will be playing some very exciting football.
Unfortunately for them, they are in the Group Of Death, so the best they
can do will be some upsets against the more favoured teams.

Liverpool England: The former world champions have been in a
slump, but should still be good enough to qualify. Their main rivals in
Group 7 will be their Heartland neighbours, Nastic.

Nastic: This may be Nastic's year, and everyone will be celebrating
if both Heartland nations in Group 7 qualify.

Oddslavo: Oddslavo are consistent, and though they are in a very
tough group, are still good enough to qualify.

Spaam: Spaam has never had it so good. Currently ranked 2nd in
the world, and in one of the easiest groups, they will have no trouble
qualifying. They will also be providing a lot of entertainment as they face
their long time enemies the Belmore Family in Group 8 for the greatest
bragging rights ever.

Thoroughbreds: They are in a group with a lot of good teams, but
they still have plenty of opportunity for impact in Group 2.

Giant Zucchini

30-04-2004, 11:22

NEWSFLASH:

Giant Zucchini has been drawn with One Red Dot...AGAIN...this time in World Cup 14 qualifying Group 9. They were drawn together in the last World Cup as well as qualifying. The Zucchinis will also be wary of Gesamtkuntswerk, who are ranked higher than them, but have not beaten them as yet.

In other news, the highly anticipated sequel to The Green Mile has been postponed yet again. However, it is highly likely that the series WILL air next season.

Iansisle

30-04-2004, 12:09

From page 1D of the Ianapalis Star-Tribune:

Reverse Psychology?
Soothsayers predict sucessful campaign for the Ians because they're expected to do poorly

Jamie C. Peters
Ians Corespondent

IANAPALIS, Iansisle -- Every eye in the newly formed Iansislean Football Association was trained on the reports being fed back from Oglethorpia. It was the beancounters' worst nightmare: Iansisle was drawn in a group with four more highly ranked teams - and several feared lower ranked teams.

"There's no question of it now," moaned one statician, leaning back in his chair with a hand to his forehead. "Tanah Burung, Sqournshelous, Rejistania,and Praying2God? I hope there's less competition in the next Cup of Harmony!"

His despair was generally echoed throughout the hall, as odd-makers started to draw up tables listing the Ians as down with the new teams. Last World Cup, they'd been the second ranked team in a weak division - and had still managed to miss qualifying!

If team pride has ever hit an actual negative value, the room would have been feeling it at just that second. In fact, a quick survey of clothing revealed that more people were dressed in the orange and blue of Rejustania than the red and white of Iansisle. Those who were wearing the team colors said they did so to support a different team, even those whose countries had vanished from the face of the Earth.

"Say," said a quiet voice in the back of the room suddenly. "I think we're going about this all wrong!" The general commotion of people calling ahead to reserve the Ians' place in the Cup of Harmony ceased and all attention turned to the new speaker, a lanky type with IanCorp Wire Services.

"Maybe," the young messiah continued, "we'll actually win the group this time around!" He held up a hand to silence the scoffing dissent. "No, I mean, think about it! When were the only times the Ians have actually performed well?" No one answered. "When they were expected to do pathetically!" he boomed. "Just think of how well we did in World Cup Ten - remember? Or how about the SuperCup? We weren't even supposed to make the playoffs - but we won it!"

He started to pace, waving his hands about. "Each other time, we've been the favorites for our group or the Harmony Cup, and we've crashed and burned!" He was pretty excited now. "Just look - one report has us in fifth, another doesn't even have us in the top five! We're not only not the favorites, we're supposed to be downright walked over!"

A hearty cheer of assent answered him. "That's right!", "And our evil nemesis Audioslavia isn't within ten miles of our group!", and "Hurrah for Westmore and the Ians!" were some of the shouts that echoed through the hall.

"But wait," one particularly bright bulb interrupted. "By saying we'll qualify because we're not favorites, don't you make us the favorites?"

"It'll only make us favorites here," grinned the young man. "See, that's how we avoid that sort of paradox: already, two major news services have predicted us out of the running! The majority of them probably will too! Who are the fates to argue with the voice of the people?"

"The fates answer to mortals?" persisted the cynic. "This doesn't make any sense at --"

But he was interrupted by another loud "Hurrah!" for the future Ians victory. Quickly, all sense of order broke down to celebrate Iansisle's first World Cup qualification - after all, who are the Crocs, the Orange-Blues, the Warriors, or every notion of common sense to argue with the will of the Fates?

Snub Nose 38

30-04-2004, 15:37

ooc: RL eating up all available time at present. longer, more interesting posts promised as soon as possible... :(

ic:

*we are standing on the roof of the ministry of athletics, olympics, and alcoholic beverages in sten, looking west out over “farthingales plain” towards the great alkali desert. we notice a faint column of dust clouds slowly making it's way towards the city. a faint hope springs to life within our breast. could it be? we run downstairs and rummage around in a supply closet until we find what we're looking for. we run back up to the roof, and face west. the column of dust clouds, a little closer now, is still approaching sten. with a tightness in our chest, we raise the binoculars to our eyes. oh, frabjous day! callo! callay! we chortle in our joy!

it's a caravan, as we suspected. and, as we hoped, the lead camel is being ridden by someone we know only as..."margaret".

perhaps world cup 14 won't be a disaster for the hooligans after all.*

Vilita

30-04-2004, 15:44

tag

Lovebug

30-04-2004, 15:45

Coach Roos "Motivate Em" Terrace: (Awakes this morning to read an email from WC SPORTS that reads…) The Lovebug Bulldogs have been selected to play in Group 8 for WC 14. Group 8 includes the following other teams… Spaam, The Belmore Family, Dance 2 Revolution, Alex The Tall, Raptor Claw, Tingitana, ElephantandCastle, Dadostan, and Carpet. Below is the group schedule…

The WC 14 Schedule for the Lovebug Bulldogs & Group 8

Matchday 1
Lovebug vs. Raptor Claw
Spaam vs. Carpet
The Belmore Family vs. Dadostan
Dance 2 Revolution vs. ElephantandCastle
Alex The Tall vs. Tingitana

Matchday 2
Tingitana vs. Lovebug
Carpet vs. Raptor Claw
ElephantandCastle vs. Alex The Tall
Dadostan vs. Dance 2 Revolution
Spaam vs. The Belmore Family

Matchday 3
Lovebug vs. ElephantandCastle
Dance 2 Revolution vs. Spaam
Alex The Tall vs. Dadostan
The Belmore Family vs. Carpet
Raptor Claw vs. Tingitana

Matchday 4
Dadostan vs. Lovebug
ElephantandCastle vs. Raptor Claw
Carpet vs. Tingitana
Spaam vs. Alex The Tall
The Belmore Family vs. Dance 2 Revolution

Matchday 5
Lovebug vs. Spaam
Alex The Tall vs. The Belmore Family
Dance 2 Revolution vs. Carpet
Raptor Claw vs. Dadostan
Tingitana vs. ElephantandCastle

Matchday 6
The Belmore Family vs. Lovebug
Dadostan vs. Tingitana
Spaam vs. Raptor Claw
Carpet vs. ElephantandCastle
Dance 2 Revolution vs. Alex The Tall

Matchday 7
Lovebug vs. Dance 2 Revolution
Alex The Tall vs. Carpet
Raptor Claw vs. The Belmore Family
Tingitana vs. Spaam
ElephantandCastle vs. Dadostan

Matchday 8
Alex The Tall vs. Lovebug
Spaam vs. ElephantandCastle
The Belmore Family vs. Tingitana
Dance 2 Revolution vs. Raptor Claw
Carpet vs. Dadostan

Matchday 9
Lovebug vs. Carpet
Raptor Claw vs. Alex The Tall
Tingitana vs. Dance 2 Revolution
ElephantandCastle vs. The Belmore Family
Dadostan vs. Spaam

Matchday 10
Raptor Claw vs. Lovebug
Carpet vs. Spaam
Dadostan vs. The Belmore Family
ElephantandCastle vs. Dance 2 Revolution
Tingitana vs. Alex The Tall

Matchday 11
Lovebug vs. Tingitana
Raptor Claw vs. Carpet
Alex The Tall vs. ElephantandCastle
Dance 2 Revolution vs. Dadostan
The Belmore Family vs. Spaam

Matchday 12
ElephantandCastle vs. Lovebug
Spaam vs. Dance 2 Revolution
Dadostan vs. Alex The Tall
Carpet vs. The Belmore Family
Tingitana vs. Raptor Claw

Matchday 13
Lovebug vs. Dadostan
Raptor Claw vs. ElephantandCastle
Tingitana vs. Carpet
Alex The Tall vs. Spaam
Dance 2 Revolution vs. The Belmore Family

Matchday 14
Spaam vs. Lovebug
Carpet vs. Dance 2 Revolution
The Belmore Family vs. Alex The Tall
Dadostan vs. Raptor Claw
ElephantandCastle vs. Tingitana

Matchday 15
Lovebug vs. The Belmore Family
ElephantandCastle vs. Carpet
Tingitana vs. Dadostan
Raptor Claw vs. Spaam
Alex The Tall vs. Dance 2 Revolution

Matchday 16
Dance 2 Revolution vs. Lovebug
Carpet vs. Alex The Tall
The Belmore Family vs. Raptor Claw
Spaam vs. Tingitana
Dadostan vs. ElephantandCastle

Matchday 17
Lovebug vs. Alex The Tall
Dadostan vs. Carpet
ElephantandCastle vs. Spaam
Tingitana vs. The Belmore Family
Raptor Claw vs. Dance 2 Revolution

Matchday 18
Carpet vs. Lovebug
Alex The Tall vs. Raptor Claw
Dance 2 Revolution vs. Tingitana
The Belmore Family vs. ElephantandCastle
Spaam vs. Dadostan

…This has been a message from WC Sports.
Roos "Motivate Em" Terrace: All in all not a bad group – we have faced The Belmore Family & Dance2Revolution before so we know what to expect. Spaam is obviously going to be a challenge having come in second place in WC 13. First match up will be against Raptor Claw, we have never this team before, but we have a higher rank, so we should be good to go.

Brazillico

30-04-2004, 17:48

The Brazillico Advance

The Confederate Puts Up Their Dukes
Family affair as Brazillico plays host to The Confederate

By Jake Tartare

The Brazillico Advance has gone to great lengths to bring you this information on The Confederate, a brand new team who will be coming to Brazillico to kick off their hopes of World Cup Qualification.

The Confederate likes to play a 4-4-2, putting up the brotherly tandem of Bo and Luke Duke up front. The Duke boys stick up for each other showing great chemistry and employ a style of sporadic zig-zagging to try to free themselves from markers. When it comes to offence, this is just about all The Confederate has to fight with.

Back at midfield, look for Crazy Cooter to hook them up with everything they need. Cooter’s passes are crisp and he has been known to spring the Duke boys open more than a few times. Other notables at midfield include Daisy Duke, who should be modelling Sepp Blatter’s new proposed lady uniforms, as well as the wily veteran Jessy Duke and the top-heavy Dolly Parton.

On the back line we find the potent pair of Boss Hogg and Rosco P. Coltrane. Boss Hogg has the size to really dominate in the box, which may not bold well for Brazillico’s relatively small forwards. On the wings, we have Enis and Cletus, two jumpy players who just want to do what’s best, often letting their youthful exuberance run wild, leading to costly breakdowns on the backline.

In between the wickets, General Lee holds the fort. The General shows great agility, acceleration and quickness and might be a tough nut to crack for the Brazillican offence. If there’s a star in this cast of players, it’s definitely the General Lee.

So what can Brazillico do to beat The Confederate? The consensus answer seems to be to put lots of pressure on their defence, as Enis and Cletus’ inexperience will eventually lead to a meltdown and Boss Hogg’s conditioning has been put into question. The key to the match will lie with Junior Socrates with the Brazillicans, as his ability to run an offence is almost unparalleled. If Brazillico can play the quick transition game they’re capable of with the Socrates and the Cannon Gemini, the Chili Bats should have no problem in winning the match.

Prediction: Brazillico 2 – 0 The Confederate

Snub Nose 38

30-04-2004, 18:18

Scuttlebutt - Morning Edition

Hooligans Path for World Cup XIV is Charted
Sten Remington Grey

The path to glory for our Snub Nose 38 Hooligans is clear. The Ministry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages announced today that the Hooligans will take part in the World Cup 14 Qualifiers as part of Group 3. The group will provide for quite a number of challenges for the Hooligans, and interesting matches for us all. Group 3 looks like this.

World Cup 14 Qualifiers - Group 3
1 Halfassedstates (7)
2 Ravenspire (21)
3 Snub Nose 38 (33)
4 NEWI Cefn Druids (48]
5 The Redavic Union (55)
6 Pablicosta (76)
7 The Evil Umpire
8 Holy lndia
9 Tepalguana
10 Airenguo

Qualifiers will be, as usual, Home and Away matches with all other members of the group. The top three qualifiers from each group will move on to take part in the World Cup 14 Tournament. Fixtures for the Qualifiers, provided by the Minister of Statistics, Other Totally Useless Information, and Band Aids, follow.

World Cup 14 Qualifying - Fixtures – GROUP 3

Matchday 1
Halfassedstates vs Airenguo
Ravenspire vs Tepalguana
Snub Nose 38 vs Holy India
NEWI Cefn Druids vs The Evil Umpire
The Redavic Union vs Pablicosta

Matchday 2
Airenguo vs Pablicosts
The Evil Umpire vs The Redavic Union
Holy India vs NEWI Cefn Druids
Tepalguana vs Snub Nose 38
Halfassedstates vs Ravenspire

Matchday 3
Ravenspire vs Airenguo
Snub Nose 38 vs Halfassedstates
NEWI Cefn Druids vs Tepalguana
The Redavic Union vs Holy India
Pablicosta vs The Evil Umpire

Matchday
Airenguo vs The Evil Umpire
Holy India vs Pablicosta
Tepalguana vs The Redavic Union
Halfassedstates vs NEWI Cefn Druids
Ravenspire vs Snub Nose 38

Matchday 5
Snub Nose 38 vs Airenguo
NEWI Cefn Druids vs Ravenspire
The Redavic Union vs Halfassedstates
Pablicosta vs Tepalguana
The Evil Umpire vs Holy India

Matchday 6
Airenguo vs Holy India
Tepalguana vs The Evil Umpire
Halfassedstates vs Pablicosta
Ravenspire vs The Redavic Union
Snub Nose 38 vs NEWI Cefn Druids

Matchday 7
NEWI Cefn Druids vs Airenguo
The Redavic Union vs Snub Nose 38
Pablicosta vs Ravenspire
The Evil Umpire vs Halfassedstates
Holy India vs Tepalguana

Matchday 8
Airenguo vs Teplaguana
Halfassedstates vs Holy India
Ravenspire vs The Evil Umpire
Snub Nose 38 vs Pablicosta
NEWI Cefn Druids vs The Redavic Union

Matchday 9
The Redavic Union vs Airenguo
Pablicosta vs NEWI Cefn Druids
The Evil Umpire vs Snub Nose 38
Holy India vs Ravenspire
Tepalguana vs Halfasssedstates

*The first number in the fixtures denotes the home team.
*Simply flip the fixtures around for matchdays 10-18.

All home matches for the Hooligans will be played in the Snub Nose 38 National Stadium, “38 Special”, in Sten. Tickets remain available for all Hooligans matches, home and away. They can be acquired either through Snubitron, or at the box office of “38 Special” Staduim. Or, you can call the Ministry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages. Ask for Beverly.

30-04-2004, 18:20

Numb Bertuzzi, Steve Ribeiro’s “Number 2 man”, comes running into the main hall where Steve sits reading the daily paper and eating a cherry danish. Steve is wearing an exquisite Hugh Hefner-like robe and sitting comfortably with his feet up, exposing his slippers with comically sized bulldog heads smoking cigars on each of them on the toe area.

Numb Betruzzi: Sir! Have you been reading the Spaam Sports Weekly!

Steve Ribeiro: I try to read only credible sources of information.

Numb Bertuzzi: Sir! They have Steve’s Island booked for a World Cup qualification spot collecting the third and final spot!

Steve, who was coincidentally taking a sip of his Cappuccino as Numb was giving the news, spits it back towards his cup. The froth sprays back in his face and Steve puts down his mug.

Steve Ribeiro: Whoop dee doo! What does it all mean, Bertuzzi?

Numb Bertuzzi: It means you’re slated to finish over Cockbill Street and Gaddland. This was done by a scientific formula comparing momentum and player strength.

Steve Ribeiro: I don’t believe in science when it comes to the predicting game. It’s all instinct. And my instincts are telling me that these guys are wrong. Wrong to not have Steve’s Island in first! Who’s leg do I have to hump to get a little respect around here?

Numb Bertuzzi: *Motioning to Ribeiro’s face* Sir. You appear to have some froth on your face.

Steve Ribeiro: *Looks in the mirror to his left* Oh I know. It’s how we do it in Brazillico. It’s called a Brazillican Blow. Very à la mode with the kids nowadays. À la mode of course being a saying for popular, which is also, well, very à la mode with the kids.

Numb Bertuzzi: Of course, sir. So you think were ready to take on the world?

Steve Ribeiro: We took a pounding last time but the ball’s in our court now. I think it’s safe to say that we’re going to smash the opposing competition this time around. Muuhahahaha….. It’s a tennis joke. Ball - court – smash. Get it?

Steve and Numb: Muuahahaha.

Muuahahahaha.

Muuuuahahahahahahaaaa.

Steve and Numb continue in their hysterical, evil laughter for quite some time. Would the world be ready to fight the omnipresent evils of Steve’s Team? Only time shall tell.

Melmond

30-04-2004, 19:27

Melmond Draws Group 10: Reaction
By Jim Dwordorf of the Aldi Tribune

In their pressure-packed second campaign to qualify for the World Cup, it appears that the Melmond National Team has made a new tradition: attempt to join one of the toughest groups possible. They did it last year and they now do it again. It may not be the group of death, but this certainly is at least the group of near death experience. In comparison however, this group may actually be weaker than the one the Fearless Farmers faced in their first qualifying campaign. Sure, playing Eauz and Europa Brittania may be a little intimidating, but the likes of rejuvenated Svecia and Ravenspire as well as Tanah Burung and Kingsford edges out this group in strength. Also the Melmond National Side is a much more experienced team this time around; however they won’t be taking anyone by surprise.
Let us take a quick look at our competitors in this group:

Eauz is the defending champion, and they “owe” the people of Melmond. The international community thought Melmond predictors mad when the chose Eauz to win it all. Thanks to cunning predictions and voodoo dice, many Melmondians got rather rich from betting on Eauz. Unfortunately, most of the beneficiaries unwisely took a vacation to Costa Lot and lost whatever they made. (ranked 1 in the world)

Europa Brittania is the rock of NationStates football, participating in all World Cups so far. They may have the deepest talent pool in the world. However, in this group, one needs heart, and with up and coming sides the Weegies and Melmond, Europa Brittania may actually find itself in trouble. (ranked 12 in the world)

The most anticipated matchup is against Brazillico. From Melmond fans throwing things to injure a Brazillican referee to Brazillico players beating up the referee at the Cup of Harmony; it will take an either brave/stupid person to referee this match in which is dubbed “The Projectile Cup.” (ranked 26 in the world)

The Weegies made one appearance in Melmond, losing in the Cup of Tardy to Vilita. The Weegies have been expected to breakthrough and finally make the World Cup many years, but they have a history of stumbling. This year they have the displeasure of being in a rather tough group. They are a rugged and resilient side however. (ranked 40 in the world)

To put it in a way that EL CID THE HERO can understand about their side…MEDIOCRE! They almost qualified for World Cup 12 by talent alone. Unless EL CID THE HERO puts some effort into their matches, their experience will mean nothing. (ranked 52 in the world)

It’s surprising that Largent isn’t more into the other football as they seem to be named after a hall of fame wide receiver. Perhaps they should make a sport switch as Largent will most likely bomb. (ranked 116 in the world)

The Confederate is the first new side we will look at. Like Melmond when it first entered, the Confederate has been around for a while. However, one must question its commitment to the game thus far. They may be the best new side in the group, but that is not saying much (first entry)

Lallania is a nation brimming with hypocrisy. They claim that the “government that governs least governs best.” Yet, they have a large government and practice socialism. They will claim to be good, but they are really bloody awful. (first entry)

Oceaice may be a photogenic squad, but expect to see snapshots of this side in the agony of defeat. (first entry)

Melmond newspapers are never shy to make bold predictions, and we are usually right about what we say. Here is the fate of Group 10.

The Prediction
1. Brazillico
2. Eauz
3. Melmond
4. Europa Brittania
5. The Weegies
6. EL CID THE HERO
7. Largent
8. The Confederate
9. Oceaice
10. Lallania

The Melmond National Team Schedule

@ EL CID THE HERO
@ Oceaice
v Largent (Microcosm Stadium, Aldi)
@ The Confederate
v Lallania (Xpress Counsel Field, Cali)
@ Eauz
v Europa Brittania (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne)
@ Brazillico
v The Weegies (Frankndottir Stadium, Acosta)
v EL CID THE HERO (Woocat Books Ballpark, O’Connor)
v Oceaice (Lifedonations Stadium, Morales)
@ Largent
v The Confederate (MPNK Stadium, Faasen)
@ Lallania
v Eauz (White Bread Dome, Suburbia)
@ Europa Brittania
v Brazillico (Melmond Bowl, Melmond City)
@ The Weegies

Next Game
at EL CID THE HERO

Thus far, the Melmond National Team has had a history of slow starts. In their first ever match, they were walloped by Svecia 4-nil. In their first match in the Cup of Harmony, Kaze Progressa took the Fearless Farmers to the woodshed with another 4-nil loss. This time, EL CID THE HERO is the opponent, and a far less formidable one than Svecia and Kaze Progressa. EL CID THE HERO has been noted for their constant mediocrity. The Melmond National Team expects nothing less than a tie in this match. Manager Felix Coostatlwak will use the starting lineup reported in the publishing of Melmond roster.

GK- Snhp Xtfuinxm
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Scott Cheney
D- Nina Steen
M- Martin Goodwin
M- Critandi Unne
M- Camui Arai
M- Cristina Antunez
F- Mornakh the Bloody Handed
F- Benjamin Leeb

For tickets to EL CID THE HERO and the match, call the Therewegoes Travel Agency at 3-18-357-9009. Therewegoes Travel Agency has a celebrity guest to tell us about EL CID THE HERO. Midfielder Cristina Antunez has been there and will tell us about it, “Fun is outlawed in the socialist nation of EL CID THE HERO; however they hardly enforce that rule. EL CID THE HERO is basically just like stereotypical Spain back on earth. That is a good thing because it’s a cute theme going through the black market of fun. They have world renowned underground gambling. Their paella is pretty good, it doesn’t have the kung fu kick like it has in my hometown of Lee though. And if you are lucky, catch a Dover Rage show at El Rojo.” Therewegoes Travel Agency also has received a warning about angry plants that may walk up and attack people, so bring your Weedwackers and Weed-B-Gon!

Lemmitania

30-04-2004, 20:27

Live from Lemmington, this is the Dean of Lemmitanian sports, Lana Maelstrom, bringing you the World Cup Fourteen Preview Programme on the Lemmitanian Radio Network. Four years ago, the Lemmings suffered multiple deaths by lightning—

Mel: Spontaneous combustion!

Lana: Wot?

Mel: Spontaneous combustion!

Lana: Wot the ‘ell? Don’t interrupt me durin’ the introduction.

Mel: Nobody was hit by lightning. They all spontaneously combusted.

Lana: Never in forty years of World Cup broadcasts ‘as an anchor been interrupted durin’ the introduction.

Mel: Well, they’ve probably always been careful to get their facts straight.

Lana: There’s no facts! It’s all theory!

Mel: Deconstructionist.

Lana: The ‘ell you say!

Mel: You try laying that post-structuralist stuff on poor Gabriella McChum and see where it gets you. She spontaneously combusted, clear as day.

Lana: I ain’t never a post-structuralist neither!

Mel: All right, all right, don’t get apoplectic.

Lana: Don’t bait me.

Mel: Fine, we’ll drop it.

Lana: Fine, then.

Mel: Fine.

Lana: All right. Where was I?

Mel: Introducing the World Cup Fourteen Preview Program.

Lana: Right. Four years ago, the Lemmings suffered multiple as-yet-unexplained deaths durin’ matches against Spaam an’ Oglethorpia. The question on everyone’s lips: were the strange, inexplicable, probably lightning-related deaths caused in some way by static electric charges carried by members of the Oglethorpian Wonderteam? Are the Lemmings safe travelling to Oglethorpia? Or should we all cross our fingers an ‘ope that, should they qualify, the Lemmings will play their finals matches in Kingsford? Joinging me in the booth is Melanie Melsterson to discuss this any other issues. Any thoughts, Mel?

Mel: Well, my first thought is, why would static electric charges have anything to do with spontaneous combustion?

Lana: Wull, one theory is that the ‘igh-density kit wot the Wonderteam works out in, so as to strengthen their exoskeletons, generates extremely ‘igh-voltage charges, which are stored up in the squad as if they were livin’ capacitors.

Mel: Exoskeletons?

Lana: You know wot I mean.

Mel: I have no idea.

Lana: The Wonderteam are giant spiders! In disguise.

Mel: No they’re not.

Lana: Sure they’re not.

Mel: Stop winking at me.

Lana: I ain’t winkin’!

Mel: Just ‘cause it’s radio, don’t think you can get away with that stuff.

Lana: I would ‘ave if you ‘adn’t given it away. Now the giant spiders are gonna know we know about ‘em. And they’ll be comin’ after us. So watch out.

Mel: You’ve been spending too much time with Gil Lemson.

Lana: I ‘ardly ever see ‘im.

Mel: Well, maybe it’s just what happens to Lowlanders over time. A sort of slow divorce from reality.

Lana: We’re all entitled to our theories. Yours is that people can inexplicably ‘spontaneously combust’ for no reason an’ with no agent of combustion. Where d’you think the energy for the combustion comes from, anyway?

Mel: It doesn’t ‘come from’ anywhere. Energy can’t be created or destroyed; that’s a law of physics.

Lana: So you think the energy is already there, jus’ waitin’ to be released?

Mel: In the form of spontaneous combustion, yes. Each person has the potential within herself to explode. A trained seer can determine how close someone is to combusting by having a look at her Aura.

Lana: That’s nuts.

Mel: This from a person who thinks the Wonderteam are spiders.

Lana: If you look closely at ‘em, you’ll notice they ‘ave eight legs each.

Mel: Yeah, well, I’ll be sure to take a close look the next time they play.

Lana: Don’t look too close though, or they might bite you.

Mel: I’ll look closely while keeping my distance.

Lana: That’s wise. I see our director, June Jamelem, is signalling me that it’s time to break for some important messages, so we’ll be right back after this.

Lemmitania

30-04-2004, 20:29

New from Eclectic Lemming Coporation...

Double Post

The product so nice, you can use it twice. Available in can or box, also aerosol version. Not a kosher product.

The Belmore Family

30-04-2004, 20:39

Belmorians Draw with Spaam. Alan Belmore lays down the gauntlet.

The Football World is sitting in anticipation as The Belmore Family preapare to take on the mighty Spaamainians. Alan Belmore will be under increased pressure to perform well or it is expected he will be getting a visit from the men in Grey suits.

The Belmorians were also drawn with Dance2Revolution for the second time running, and they will proabably be our closest race into 2nd posistion, as United Spaam are expected to sail into 1st in the group.

The only other main challenger is expected to be Alex the Tall, who has grown in strength in the last 20 years and could be a challenger for the vital 3rd place.

But all eyes are on Octobers 2nd match, The Belmore Family Vs Spaam where the Government has forbidden 10,000 rowdy fans to attend the match as to ensure the game passess peacefully.

The Belmore Family

30-04-2004, 20:40

From the magizne: "Disguised Porn"

The Belmore Family described as Sexiest nation in group 8 according to an independent survey.

A survey of women in 10,000 women from each nation in group 8 said they would be tuning into Belmorian group 8 matches as they found the Belmorians the sexiest nation participating.The survey found that the the Belmorians managed a stunning 37% whilst second sexiest team, Dance2Revolution managed only a 20%.

The comments about the Belmorians ranged from one passer by in Alex The Tall was reported to comment "I would chose the Belmorians, all that incest turns me on" to a single woman in Spaam saying "it's that Alan Belmore that does it for me. that Gordon Strachen look really does it for me."

Spaam got 3rd, with 15% of the woman deciding they were the sexiest. However at the bottom was Alex the Tall, scraping only 0.7% of the vote. Most of the surveyed agree that their lankyness was about as much as a turn on as meeting Urk down a back alley for a quick bit of Zucchini mating. Remember to get us after the first match for the complete national sexiest ratings along with Alan Belmore's first glamour pictures for Disguised Porn.

Kaze Progressa

30-04-2004, 20:52

From the Daily Kangaroo:

HISTORIC LEMMING MEETING HIGHLIGHT OF 'RESPECTABLE' GROUP

Kaze Progressa were handed a reasonable draw for World Cup 14 qualifying last night, with two other former co-hosts, including the Progressan hosting partner Lemmitania, the biggest threats.

Lemmitania, ranked seventh in the world, are an intimidating side, but the Progressans should feel at home if the match is moved from the National Stadium to the larger Narrowhead, built for the WC12 final - it was designed by the same architects as the Progressair Stadium.

Cockbill Street, now ranked above the Progressans for the first time ever, are fast-improving, and a threat in their renovated stadia, but they are beatable - and certainly much the same can be said of the rest of the group, headed by a Creedence Clearwater side best known for coming agonisingly close to making the trip to Lemmitania and Kaze Progressa five years ago and little threat today. Steve's Island are seen as a moderate puppet side, Gaddland were beaten twice by the Progressans even in their atrocious WC13 qualifying failures, and the other sides have the cumulative international experience of a pre-pubescent.

The Progressans are 4-7 to qualify and 5-4 not to with GetLucky, though plenty of cynics are taking their chances on the latter odds.

Kingsford

30-04-2004, 21:30

Heh, this is embarrassing...

Tag.

The Weegies

30-04-2004, 22:10

Weegies Star: World Cup Qualifying Special.

GROUP 10
Eauz (1)
Europa Britannia (12)
Brazillico (26)
The Weegies (40)
EL CID THE HERO (52)
Melmond (62)
Largent (116)
The Confederate
Lallania
Oceaice

So, another 4 years, another qualifying race. And one that looks suitably harsh once again. Or not. We are, after all, the perennial underacheivers; maybe playing some high-ranked teams could jerk the now seasoned Weegie side into the finals for a second time.

Eauz are the reigning champions, but then again, they haven't found it easy dealing with us; one draw and a defeat while playing against us in The Eagle's Nest should make Eauz think twice before underestimating us when they come to the Dear Green Place in Mackintosh. But they are a tough side, with our win coming from a lapse in concentration rather than a shortage in Eauzi skill, and the team that played in the Eagle's Cup was not the disciplined side that took the title. The matches against them will be difficult at best, a romp for the Eauzi at our worst.

Europa Brittania are another team who have won the World Cup, and still have a lot left in them to show many teams the way football can really be played. Again, this team will be tough to play against, and it's looking like the only way The Weegies will get into the World Cup is in the 3rd place slot.

Which is blocked by Brazillico, the third World Cup winning team in our group (oh, the luck of it all), who have moved on significantly since we met them not long after their reformation. Both clashes could have went either way, and the continualy improving Brazillico side, with its silky moves and skilful players, may leave our side overwhelmed and in the dust. It's not looking good for a qualification spot, by any means.

Our best hope, probably, is to not lose a point against the lower ranked teams, and hoping the higher ranked teams slip up. But even then, it's still looking hard. Even the lowliest of footballing nations can scrap and grind and take points off an unprepared side, and EL CID THE HERO might do just that, although certain weaknesses in their side could be exploited to our team's gain.

Melmond will probably be our other closest rival apart from Brazillico, and the Melmondians will probably be hoping to exact revenge on a World Cup Committee that made its Cup of Harmony rather infamous due to exposing certain irregularities in the games in Melmond. They may be the side with the most to prove, to show they have as much footballing talent as the next team, and this determination could make them a dangerous side to face.

It's a big dropoff in the rankings to Largent, and in a perfect world we could see them off quite easily. But it isn't a perfect world, and an overconfident Weegie side always leads to a shoddy performance on the field.

The same can be said for the unranked sides, The Confederate, Lallania and Oceaice. We can't underestimate anyone, or our campaign is dead before it begins.

But we have a strong side, a professional side, and if all goes well we could squeeze through into the finals.

Bedistan

30-04-2004, 22:13

The Bedistan Sports Digest

World Cup XIV Qualifying Group Draws Announced
Lions in Group 6 with Kerla, Dennisov, others

MEGALOPOLIS CITY, OGLETHORPIA -- The Bureaucratic States [of Oglethorpia] and Kingsford Football Associations have released the group draws for World Cup 14 qualifying.

Our two main opponents in the group are two sides that are very familiar to us. Dennisov was first drawn with us in the first round of WC6. They returned for WC10 qualifying and again for WC13 qualifiers, making Fourteen the third time in two decades the Dennish have been placed in our group. We also know Kerla fairly well, having faced them in qualifying twice before, in World Cups 10 and 12.

The only other significant power in Group 6 is Belmorian Scandinavia, which is ironically now tied to the Rejistanian government.

The full list of participants is as follows:

GROUP 6
Bedistan (3)
Kerla (17)
Dennisov (27)
Belmorian Scandinavia (37)
Tadjikistan [58]
Intelligent Madness (92)
Aerigia (123)
Keyshona
Bobbystan
Vollmeria

We predict the Lions to easily win the group, followed by Dennisov in second. Kerla and the Scandinavians will likely fight rather ferociously for third place, and we believe Belmorian Scandinavia will pull through to qualify, with Kerla finishing fourth.

Other Regional News

Southwestern neighbors Commerce Heights have been drawn into Group 5 alongside teams such as Svecia and Oddslavo. CH should have no problems qualifying.

The Anarchic Lands of Tingitana have also entered the World Cup for the first time. They are in Group 8 along with Spaam, the Belmore Family, Dance 2 Revolution and others. The Camels are not expected to do particularly well, but we are hoping for a top-five finish in the group.

The Sports Digest will provide a follow-up report in tomorrow's edition going more in-depth.

Lallania

01-05-2004, 00:24

A small crowd of enthusiatic football fans arrived at the airport outside of Tinov to see the Lallanian national team head out for their opening round matchups. Coach Filip Gorrotia is optimistic about his fledgling team's chances.

"We're not out to win the whole event, but we're going to put up a good fight, and show the world that we are going to be around for a long time. If we can put together a few good scores, maybe even scratch out a win or two, we'll be happy."

Turnia

01-05-2004, 00:52

Turnia City Tribune

Turnia City, Turnia -- Turnia's national team, the Dragons, are cramming in preperation for their first World Cup. The Dragons have drawn a 10 seed in Group 7, facing off against top seed The Lowland Clans. "I have high hopes for our team. It will be a long hard road, but I think we will make a good showing.", said our esteemed leader General Turner.

Head coach Odle offers his insights- "We have trained hard and we must be at the peak of our game as a 10 seed. Our boys are ready, but you can never be prepared enough. We will practice and review our game plans right up to the start."

As the nation and the world prepares for opening day we wish all the best to our Dragons. We know you will represent us well.

Bedistan

01-05-2004, 01:34

Bedistan Lions - World Cup XIV Qualifying Fixtures

Note to travelers: All home matches will be played at James Parker National Stadium, Midway, Neshoba, Bedistan.

Another note to travelers: Be sure not to get Bedistan confused with Tadjikistan or Bobbystan, both of which are also in the group.

MD1: Bedistan v Vollmeria
MD2: Bedistan v Kerla
MD3: Dennisov v Bedistan
MD4: Bedistan v Belmorian Scandinavia
MD5: Tadjikistan v Bedistan
MD6: Bedistan v Intelligent Madness
MD7: Aerigia v Bedistan
MD8: Bedistan v Keyshona
MD9: Bobbystan v Bedistan
MD10: Vollmeria v Bedistan
MD11: Kerla v Bedistan
MD12: Bedistan v Dennisov
MD13: Belmorian Scandinavia v Bedistan
MD14: Bedistan v Tadjikistan
MD15: Intelligent Madness v Bedistan
MD16: Bedistan v Aerigia
MD17: Keyshona v Bedistan
MD18: Bedistan v Bobbystan

Tickets to all matches are still available from BediTix -- you can reach them at their website at http://www.beditix.co.bd or by phone at (217) 4954-5000.

Europa Brittania

01-05-2004, 01:41

Two time world champions Europa Brittania today found themselves in a challenging mixing pot of nations each aiming for WC qualification over the other.

EB were drawn in Group ten-

GROUP 10
Eauz (1)
Europa Britannia (12)
Brazillico (26)
The Weegies (40)
EL CID THE HERO (52)
Melmond (62)
Largent (116)
The Confederate
Lallania
Oceaice [Crystilakere puppet]

Firstly, the formidable presence of the reigning world champions, Eauz. A team that have achieved unparalled sucess in a short time, whose attitude and first class teamwork have cast them a reputation both renowned and respected. EB find themselves at least fortunate to have beaten this team, on their way to cup glory, courtesy of a Kiwitz goal.

EB have been on the recieving end of a defeat, and a favourite seems to difficult to pick between these two.

Brazillico, two time winners themselves and a formidable world presence round off the "big three". Having faced each other seldom, and EB having inflicted a long forgotten 2-0 friendly win over the competitors shortly before a WC qualifying round, their ranking is merely a guide to current form. Group ten looks likely to spring at least one suprise in the form of automatic qualifiers, for the winners and runners up.

The Weegies, an unknown quanitity, make their return debut to the NSWC, after lengthy spell outwith. EL CID THE HERO, Melmond, The Confederate, Lallania and Oceaice are all nations which EB have little to no experience with internationally. Though EL CID has featuered in a previous WC group along with the Brittanians.

It looks increasingly likely that Eauz will win the group, with EB and Brazillico fighting for runners up in an unbalanced if competitive group.

Spaam

01-05-2004, 04:11

SPAAM SPORTS DAILY

Watch out for Elephants on bicycles....

Spaam's Top Thirteen Announced

Spaam's top 13 players have been announced, forming the mainstay of
their national football team. Spaam's goalkeeper will Alátari Súrion,
perhaps the greatest ever keeper in Spaam's history. The defensive pack
will be led for the fourth time in a row by her triplet brother Finrod Súrion,
with Mykel Zevlak returning for her second qualifying competition. The
midfielders will be headed by the third Súrion triplet, Elen, with Tomas
Rasa coming in for his second qualifying tournament. The top three
strikers of last World Cup have also returned, including team captain Nala
Eromleb, Meren Lûin, and Eman Olisade. The full list is here:

[code:1:6412049d72]Head Coach:
Méla Sëhelin (47F)

Forwards:
[1] Nala Eromleb (???)
[2] Meren Lûin (29F)
[3] Eman Olisade (25M)
[4] Eliza Dushku (22F)

Midfielders:
[5] Elen Súrion (28F)
[6] Tomas Rasa (25M)
[7] Fin Drak (21M)
[13] Mykel Strvá (16F)

Defenders:
[8] Finrod Súrion (28M)
[9] Mykel Zevlak (25F)
[10] Tomas Arnatú (23M)
[12] Amras Elensar (24M)

Goalkeeper:
[11] Alátari Súrion (28F)
[/code:1:6412049d72]

01-05-2004, 04:13

:roll:

Wow. The first World Cup I'm participating in. I guess I'll just TAG it here...

East Spaam

01-05-2004, 04:43

East Spaam Sports Daily
The smallest magazine in NationStates
East Spaam World Cup Team Announced
Officials have named East Spaam's World Cup team. It will be headed by the
immortal Elmo, with the Olsen septuplets (Doc, Happy, Bashful, Sneezy,
Grumpy, Dopey, Sleepy) playing in midfield and defense roles. Michael
Jackson will be goal keeper, with George W Bush and Saddam Hussein being
the other two strikers. East Spaam will be playing their first match against
Presgreif tomorrow.

Tanah Burung

01-05-2004, 04:49

COPA Gambling Report
Brought to you by Stout Lout ale.

13-year old girl: Get out! Stout Lout is now made with Trout?
14-year old boy: Strewth yes! They say if you drink too much, you'll get gout!
15-year old genderqueer: Nowt but the best! Shout it out for Stout Lout!

Mau Slurp: Win, show or place time. Our expert numerologists have determined that the number four is bad luck in Chinese culture, and thus former champs Rejistania -- ranked fourth in the world -- are headed for a fall in Group Four of qualifiers for World Cup Fourteen. Tell them that a lot anyways, it might scare them into losing. Although this is a tough group, the key for others may be to frighten the Orange-Blues with anything vaguely supernatural. Tell 'em ghost stories, kidnap their teddy bears, take them to the top of tall buildings, that sort of thing. They're also afraid of open spaces and confined spaces, i hear. But ya know what? Form usually tells. House offers 5-4 on Rejis winning Group 4.

Earlier i asked Bi Kikere what she could tell me about Squornshelous. "J'ai pas d'idée," she said. And about the Crocodiles' chances? "Le Treizième Coupe Mondiale était un désastre, grace à José Ruak, je pense. Sous M. oreadest, il y a grand espoir pour nous."

Hmm. Seems she's decided speaking in French is the key to winning the Cup. I'm dubious. House offers 2-1 on both Squornshelous and Tanah Burung to win Group 4.

Iansisle, next. I'm not interested in anyone wining any big bucks off a good year by the Ians. So i'm declaring them favourites to win this group, with even odds. Also, i'm calling for patriotic citizens to slip hallucingenics in the Iansisle players drinks when they visit here. The good folds at Stout Lout would insist upon such unsportsmanlike behaviour.

Praying2God will have to do just that. 4-1 to win the group. But i foresee great things for Vilita, so i've got them at 3-1 to take the top spot in Group 4. As for San Marino, the Faroe Islands, Swaziland and Canada, why do these countries even bother? What's that? Oh, i mean to say, Hawcoat, Crystilakere, Danilotown and Ineptia. They're all ten to one. Whaddaya mean you want longer odds? i'm not made of money, you know. All right, 15-1, out of the goodness of my heart. And if Ineptia wins, a free round of Stout Lout for everyone.

Spaam

01-05-2004, 04:54

President of United Spaam Betting Potatoes and Other Random Tubers (USB PORT), Rupert Murdok is on the phone

Rupert: NO! I demand you put Ineptia at shorter odds! 8 to 1! You heard me! Now get cracking you Tanah Burungese fat head!

Oglethorpia

01-05-2004, 04:58

WORLD CUP 14 INFORMATION
Big, bold, and italicized means importance.

Ladies and gentlemen, the drumroll please...

*Cue drumroll, which seems to last forever -- all the while, many those on begin dropping dead from anticipation. They are quickly hidden.*

And the official World Cup 14 corporate sponsor is...

THE ECLECTIC LEMMING CORPORATION!

Famed all throughout the Radical Lemmings of Lemmitania, the Eclectic Lemming Corporation has been bringing customers everywhere the following quality products:

Primary products:
*Electric Lemming Chickenizer
Ad slogans: “Mmm… tastes just like chicken the way Mom ™ used to make it!”
“You won’t believe it’s lemming!”
“All the lemming… none of the nasty lemming aftertaste.”

*ChickA-Live Electric Chicken Deboner
“Debone your chicken in three seconds flat… without killing it!”
“Mmm… tastes just like chicken the way Mom ™ used to make it… only alive!”
“All the chicken… none of the nasty internal skeleton.”

*ELC Roadkill Rejuvenator
Ad: “Tired of paying exorbitant grocery store prices for lemming? Ever notice that the country’s just crawling with the hairy little bastards? And the roads are practically carpeted in their crushed carcasses. Well, let nature’s overabundance work for you! Try an Eclectic Lemming Corporation Roadkill Rejuvenator today! Just apply the scoop nozzle to your choice of lemming, squirrel, opossom, or other crushed mammal found so conveniently on many of Lemmitania’s more accessible thoroughfares, switch the big red swicth, and voila! The flattened beast is instantly and effortlessly* sucked into the Rejuvenator’s patented** “engorgement tank” where it is pumped full of nutritious flavoring nutrients*** and returned to its original juicy dimensions.**** So, try one today! Your family will thank you… all the way to the bank!”

*Some scraping may be required.
**Patent rejected.
***comprosed primarily of nitrogen, with some oxygen and trace gasses
****juiciness and accuracy of dimensional measurements of rejuvenated animal cannot be guaranteed.

But wait! There's more! Drumroll again, please.

*More begin dying as anticipation creeps among the crowd, silently dispatching the onlookers. They too are hidden, even though the room has been significantly thinned out.*

Treat yourself to the official beer of World Cup 14 -- Stout Lout, straight from Tanah Burung!

Thirteen-year old boy: Holy Wonderteam! The World Cup is coming!
Boy's father: Yes, and everyone knows football means beer! Beer and cursing!
Boy: Hurrah! What sort of beer?
Father: Why, Stout Lout of course! It contains high-protein meat extracts, calcium to promote bone density, and eight of the ten recommended vegetables additives.
Boy: Is ketchup a vegetable?
Father: Don't question me.

Dissolve to jingle:
Stout Lout, Stout Lout,
The healthiest of ales,
Stout Lout, Stout Lout,
You'll grow as big as whales.

You can't go wrong with quality appliances from the Eclectic Lemming Corporation. Or a fine Stout Lout -- because there aren't enough beer-filled whales in the world.

---

...MORE WORLD CUP 14 INFORMATION

And now, World Cup 14 qualifying matchday 1 scores! (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3111637#3111637)

Go ahead, take a look. Stout Lout compels you!

An enormously obese man is sprawled across the couch, watching a football match. Two women in bikinis dance in, carrying trays of beer, and hand him a glass. he takes a drink, clutches his heart, and falls to the ground. As he expires, he chokes out the words: "I regret nothing!"

Voice-over: Fat Lout. The tastiest way to go.

And remember, Stout Lout is the official ale of overweight pissed-off sports fans everywhere, home and abroad.

OOC:

Tables will be up in 15 minutes or so.

Total n Utter Insanity

01-05-2004, 05:09

TnUI field crappiest team in 30 years

Football has been on the decline in TnUI for the last 10 years. So much so that we are replacing the football highlights, if you can call them that, with the history program.

Previously on TnUI History:
TnUI History - Part the first

The scene is quite a barren land, with two early Ravenspirians dressed in loin clothes and clicking at each other.

Ravenspirian the first: Click click, click click click?

Ravenspirian the second: Click, click click clock!

Ravenspirian the first: Clock?

Ravenspirian the second: Click clock!

Ravenspirian the first: Clickety clickety clock!

...and so, it came to pass, that anyone who did pass through this land, became totally and utterly insane.
TnUI History - Part the second

The scene is the same as before, but the Ravenspirians are gone. In their place are some nomadic English Liverpudlian.

English Liverpudlian the first: Poot the telly on, I'm missin' Brookie!

English Liverpudlian the second: Muhahahahahahahahaha!

English Liverpudlian the first: Wot the?

English Liverpudlian the second slaps English Liverpudlian the first around a bit with a large trout

...and so the Liverpudlians went quite mad.

Vilita

01-05-2004, 05:15

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/ao/vn.gif

Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) 1 - 2 Praying2God

(Ramzi 58 ) :: (Jacobson 26, Larson 78 )

The Colony of Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) Jungle Cats had a late defensive lapse to blame for throwing away a valuable point away to Praying2God in the opening game of their World Cup XIV Qualifying Campaign

Thomas Larson headed home in the 78th minute to put the Warriors ahead for the second time, while Giacomo Adika found himself in the referees book for complaining about his own mistake. Paul Jacobson had opened the scoring for Praying2God with a close-range header - his first goal of his international career. Jacobson had earlier been denied from the spot by Vilita goalkeeper Massimo Corsi, who expertly pushed away his spot-kick. Jürgen Ramzi's bright return marked with a goal on the hour had seemingly earned the away side a vital point, before Larson's late intervention.

After a quiet opening, the game burst into life in the 15th minute as a 25-yard drive from Jungle Cats' captain Santo Kecker was well-held by Joshua Harris. Praying2God missed the chance to take the lead shortly afterwards when Matteo Ollirg brought down Rachel Peterson in the area. Jacobson struck his spot-kick well, but keeper Corsi guessed correctly and palmed the ball to safety.

The Jungle Cats, buoyed by Corsi's save, hit back with some pressure of their own as Germán Salomón flashed a header inches wide from a Jonathon Stott corner and Banda side-footed wide when well-placed.

But the Warriors did make the breakthrough their play had deserved in the 26th minute. Peterson took the ball around Corsi and tried a shot, but Jacobson stole in to nod into an empty net from six yards. Praying2God shook things up at the start of the second half, with defender Noah Bell replaced by Carl Adams .

Vilita had made a bright re-start, with Banda and Salomón coming close in quick succession, and they were rewarded just before the hour as Ramzi rose highest to head home another Stott corner.

Praying2God responded, though, with Joseph King forcing a fine save from Corsi from 25 yards. But it was Larson, regular team captain who was left on the bench in favor of goalscorer Jacobsen, who came on with 10 minutes remaining, taking just six minutes to make an impact. He connected with a hopeful shot from Johnson to head the ball past a stranded Corsi.

Bookings: Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) - Adika - 79 (Dissent); Praying2God - none.

-----------------

GROUP 4 Results:

Rejistania 3 - 0 Ineptia
Sqournshelous 6 - 0 Danilotown
Tanah Burung 4 - 1 Crystilakere
Iansisle 2 - 2 Hawcoat
Praying2God 2 - 1 Vilita

Return To Group 4 Information Page (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3106886#3106886)

----------------

The Colony of Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) Jungle Cats will be looking to qualify for the World Cup finals in their second attempt after failing to do so in WCQ XIII. The Jungle Cats are currently undefeated in the last 6 Atlantian Oceania (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_region/region=atlantian_oceania) Regional championships, and look poised to add to that total in the upcoming Atlantian Oceania (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_region/region=atlantian_oceania) Olympic games. Their squad will consist of mostly young stars from the National league, with a few experienced veterans, from the days before baseball was outlawed in the Nation, to guide them on their way to Glory.

The Evil Umpire

01-05-2004, 05:17

we lose

Spaam

01-05-2004, 05:47

SPAAM SPORTS DAILY

Prepare yourself for the obvious pun....

Spaam Walk Over Carpet

Spaam's World Cup qualifying campaign started off in scintillating form,
with a 3-0 home win over the loveable Carpet. Eman Olisade started the
ball rolling when he capitalised on poor Carpetian defense, and shot the
ball past two defenders and the goalkeeper in the 23rd minute. Meren
Lûin got Spaam's second when she received a corner shot from Fin Drak,
and had no chance of missing the header, sending Spaam to a two goal
lead in the just after half time. Nala Eromleb got into the game in the
69th minute, escaping from defense and creating a one on one situation
with the Carpetian keeper, which he didn't waste. Alátari Súrion was not
troubled by the Carpet attack, the few shots on the Spaam goal easily
taken down.

The win gives Spaam the top spot in Group 8, and is a good preparation
for their long awaited match against the Belmore Family at Artánis
National Stadium on October 2nd. Not only is this an incredible important
qualifying match for both teams, but the winner will also receive the Steve
Ribeiro Trophy for the Sexiest Team Ever.

Spaam 3
(Olisade 23; Lûin 46; Eromleb 69)
Carpet 0

The Back Page

[code:1:c5a514b6f6]GROUP 8 P W D L F A GD Points
Spaam 1 1 0 0 3 0 +3 3 W
Lovebug 1 1 0 0 3 1 +2 3 W
The Belmore Family 1 1 0 0 3 1 +2 3 W
Tingitana 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3 W
Dance 2 Revolution 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3 W
Alex The Tall 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0 L
Elephant and Castle 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0 L
Dadostan 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0 L
Raptor Claw 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0 L
Carpet 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0 L[/code:1:c5a514b6f6]

[code:1:c5a514b6f6]Spaam 3 Carpet 0[/code:1:c5a514b6f6]

[code:1:c5a514b6f6]SPAAM P W D L F A GD Points
Total 1 1 0 0 3 0 +3 3
Home 1 1 0 0 3 0 +3 3
Away 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0[/code:1:c5a514b6f6]

[code:1:c5a514b6f6]No. Name P G Ave
[1] Nala Eromleb 1 1 1.0
[2] Meren Lûin 1 1 1.0
[3] Eman Olisade 1 1 1.0
------------------------------------
[11] Alátari Súrion 1 0 0.0[/code:1:c5a514b6f6]

[code:1:c5a514b6f6]Highlight on Alátari Súrion
---------------------------
Minutes without conceding a goal: 93
Most minutes without conceding: 93[/code:1:c5a514b6f6]

Melmond

01-05-2004, 06:11

¡Que Lastima!
Questionable Call Leads to EL CID THE HERO Victory
By Jim Dwordorf of the Aldi Tribune

EL CID THE HERO—It was the perfect ambience for the first match for the Melmond National Team to start its World Cup 14 qualifying campaign. Unlike Melmond in the winter and the virtual permafrost they started out in in Svecia, they head to the sunny nation of EL CID THE HERO. Despite its strict façade, the citizens here are for living life and were excited for the upcoming match. The Fearless Farmer Faithful made the trip to EL CID THE HERO, only to find themselves arrested for carrying Weedwackers into the stadium. In turns out that the report by Therewegoes Travel Agency that there were plants that walked and attacked humans and animals were false. There was a mixup between “EL CID” and “El Seed.” El Seed is a bizarre plantman who calls humans “monkeys” and has his hideout just outside The City. He is nowhere near the nation of EL CID THE HERO or Melmond for that matter. All the fans were in jail until the game was over, and were immediately pardoned by the EL CID THE HERO authorities.
The Fearless Farmers sorely missed their faithful presence, as every fan in the stadium were rooting against them. The majority of the first half was a battle of possession, as the ball bounced back and forth from each side of the pitch. There were not many opportunities for shots as the defence of both sides played very well. Melmond Goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm made his presence felt very quickly as he interfered with just about every cross attempt the EL CID THE HERO attack made.
As the first half was waning down, the first breakthrough was made. Melmond midfielder Cristina Antunez finds midfielder Martin Goodwin. Martin Goodwin was looking to make a cross, but his cross attempt was deflected out-of-bounds by an EL CID THE HERO defender. Defender Jonsi Torrini was to take the corner kick. In his play at Cornellby in Audioslavia, he developed a new kind of corner kick he calls “the Acosta-Audioslavia Arc.” One time he was able to kick the ball past the net right from the corner. Torrini really put lots of English on this certain corner. Melmond striker Benjamin Leeb was there to head the ball in the net past the very out-of-position EL CID THE HERO goalkeeper. Benjamin Leeb scores the first goal in this qualifying campaign at the 44th minute and take the lead 1-nil.
Melmond controlled the tempo in the first part of the second half. Around the 61st minute, EL CID THE HERO found an opening and made an effective counterattack. EL CID THE HERO striker Diego Macarena was able to get passed Melmond defender Scott Cheney. Scott Cheney reacted with a tackle from behind inside the goalkeeper’s box. Scott Cheney was shown the yellow card. Macarena takes the penalty kick, and all the physical ability in the world couldn’t help Xtfuinxm as he guesses wrong and Macarena ties the game as the crowd goes into a dance frenzy.
Both sides went on offensive frenzies that went nowhere. Melmond and EL CID THE HERO’s chances were off the mark. Around the 89th minute, the game was winding down and EL CID THE HERO had the privilege to make the final attack. Enrico Gazpacho makes a shot from just outside the goalkeepers box. It makes an inexplicable turn that catches Snhp Xtfuinxm off guard. The crowd absolutely went wild as Enrico Gazpacho may have scored the game winning goal. The Melmond bench was livid as they believe that Diego Macarena deflected the ball with his hand to make the inexplicable change of direction of the ball. The referee wouldn’t hear any of it, literally. The cheers from the EL CID THE HERO’s fans drowned out anything the Melmondian players and coaches have said. EL CID THE HERO gets the win on the goal which the Melmond Dyslexic Press is calling “el mano del perro.”
In an interview after the game, Melmond defender Scott Cheney was especially livid, ‘We were (expletive) robbed! We were clearly the better side and just because we have some senile referee we lose this game!” Snhp Xtfuinxm remarked, “Xmny!” Xmny is a swear in the language of Wzkknxm. One angry fan, Inn Kariaktor, fumed upon hearing what happened after getting out of jail, “It’s so obvious that the Emerald Heights people are fixing this to get revenge on everything that happened involving Melmond! See these scores? Don’t they look a little weird?” Those opinions no way represent the opinions of the MFA. In fact it is only one match.

Goals
Leeb, MEL 44th
Macarena, ECH 61st
Gazpacho, ECH 89th

Cards
Cheney, MEL 61st

Standings

Other Group 10 Results
Eauz 4 – Oceaice 2
Europa Brittania 4 – Lallania 0
Brazillico 4 – The Confederate 0
The Weegies 1 – Largent 2

[code:1:bc529065e7]Group 1
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Europa Brittania 3 1 0 0 4:0 4
2. Brazillico 3 1 0 0 4:0 4
3. Eauz 3 1 0 0 4:2 2
4. EL CID THE HERO 3 1 0 0 2:1 1
5. Largent 3 1 0 0 2:1 1
6. The Weegies 0 0 0 1 1:2 -1
7. Melmond 0 0 0 1 1:2 -1
8. Oceaice 0 0 0 1 2:4 -2
9. The Confederate 0 0 0 1 0:4 -4
10. Lallania 0 0 0 1 0:4 -4[/code:1:bc529065e7]

Melmond Team Stats
Goals: Benjamin Leeb (1)
Cards: Scott Cheney (1)

The Melmond National Team Schedule

@ EL CID THE HERO L 2-1
@ Oceaice
v Largent (Microcosm Stadium, Aldi)
@ The Confederate
v Lallania (Xpress Counsel Field, Cali)
@ Eauz
v Europa Brittania (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne)
@ Brazillico
v The Weegies (Frankndottir Stadium, Acosta)
v EL CID THE HERO (Woocat Books Ballpark, O’Connor)
v Oceaice (Lifedonations Stadium, Morales)
@ Largent
v The Confederate (MPNK Stadium, Faasen)
@ Lallania
v Eauz (White Bread Dome, Suburbia)
@ Europa Brittania
v Brazillico (Melmond Bowl, Melmond City)
@ The Weegies

Next Game
at Oceaice

After a controversial loss on the road against moderately talented EL CID THE HERO side, Melmond has the opportunity to fatten up its points total on the four cupcakes of the group: Oceaice, Largent, The Confederate, and Lallania. Oceaice is first of this 4 course dessert. They are a puppet of Crystallikere. Crystallikere is one of the worst sides in the last World Cup qualifying. One can only imagine how bad this side is. Oceaice has a nice quaint stadium and beautiful weather. The whole stadium uses solar power! But that is about it for their bright spots. Expect a drubbing at the hands of the Fearless Farmers. Manager Felix Coostatlwak will keep his starting lineup from the last match.

GK- Snhp Xtfuinxm
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Scott Cheney
D- Nina Steen
M- Martin Goodwin
M- Critandi Unne
M- Camui Arai
M- Cristina Antunez
F- Mornakh the Bloody Handed
F- Benjamin Leeb

For tickets to Oceaice and the match, call the Therewegoes Travel Agency at 3-18-357-9009. Enjoy hiking through the rainforests. The beaches may look tempting, but it is wide to avoid them because they are piranha-infested.

East Spaam

01-05-2004, 07:07

East Spaam Sports Daily
The smallest magazine in NationStates
East Spaam Dissapoints
East Spaam were disappointing in their first match against Pregreif, only
managing a 1 all draw. Elmo scored the only goal for the East Spaamanians
in the 70th minute to level the scores after Pregreif made an early pently
shot. East Spaam go to Larkinia for their next match.
East Spaam 1
(Elmo 70)
Presgreif 1
(Madonna 15 pen)

Liverpool England

01-05-2004, 07:10

Liverpool England World Cup Update MD1
[code:1:8e7ad8f892]GROUP 7 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
The Lowland Clans 1 1 0 0 4 1 +3 3
Liverpool England 1 1 0 0 3 0 +3 3
Runaway Moose 1 1 0 0 3 1 +2 3
Mattigool 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
Winged Animals 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
NASTIC 2 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
New Kingman 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
The Republican Army 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0
Turnia 1 0 0 1 1 4 -3 0
Anitram 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0

Liverpool England 3:0 Anitram[/code:1:8e7ad8f892]

Decaltré Jomans reports from Grover's Park, Orean

In an amazing turn around, ten-man Liverpool England finished their game at home to newcomers Anitram with a 3-0 win. After a poor first-half performance, going into the break 0-0, coach Caddy Cannon made wholesale substitutions at the break - three key stars, Christopher Hawkins@Kof Hadji, Dominic Dirosa and Kelvin "KΣσ" Johnson, originally rested for the match - coming on. Then, more disaster struck. With the team having made all three substitutions, Marc Heights went down after a 50-50 challenge with an Anitramian player, leaving him injured and out for the match [Team doctors say he might miss the next game].

The team, now down to ten men, fough hard and after 70 minutes found the net. Hawkins made a sperb flighting run down the right, and a picture-perfect cross met the head of the unlucky Anitramian defender, whose header allowed Johnson to scramble it over the line from 3 yards.

Barely two minutes later, Hawkins' skill provided him with a clear chance at goal from 25 yards out. He took it, and the ball curled superbly and professionally into the top-left hand corner of the net. 2-0. Hawkins was again involved in the last goal, a corner on the far side with 4 minutes to play taing a deflection off the opposite post and entered the net, with the goal being credited to Hawkins, who also received the Man-of-the-Match award.

[code:1:8e7ad8f892]FULL TIME

Liverpool England 3:0 Anitram
-Johnson 71
-Hawkins 73
-Hawkins 86[/code:1:8e7ad8f892]

Liverpool England

01-05-2004, 07:25

The Liverpool England World Cup Update:
Oddslavo Update MD1

Ken Williamson reports from National Stadium, Barkeda, Oddslavo

[code:1:28bd42fe64]Oddslavo 4:0 The Fivefold Star[/code:1:28bd42fe64]

I'm in Barkeda, a place where once, Liverpool Englanders would have bee shot down by the feared Krystov Barkeda, the Oddslavan secret police in Barkeda. Generally, we are hated by Oddslavans for once colonising them. Back to the matter at hand, though. Oddslavo met The Fivefold Star in the 15, 000-seater National Stadium, relatively small compared to the 94,500-capacity Grover's Park me and my colleagues are more used to, but played out a brilliant match, with two goals on either side of half-time.

Captain Henry Johari scored all four goals, two from the penalty spot. The first, 5 minutes before Half-time, came from the spot after a Fivefold Star player handballed in the box. Yellow Card and penalty, which was calmly slotted home.

Two minutes later, Johari had a crack at goal from 40 yards downtown, spotting the keeper off his line. The cheeky lob worked, and Johari was celebrating his second. He got his third two minutes after the restart after good work by his midfield maestro Jimmy Lawsdon. Lawsdon hit the ball upfield fifty yards from the Oddslavan half, and Johari hit it first-time from 20 yards to celebrate his hat-trick.

He was later back at the penalty spot, with Lawsdon having been taken down by the keeper. A perfect finish to the game for Johari and Oddslavo.

[code:1:28bd42fe64]FULL TIME
Oddslavo 4:0 The Fivefold Star
-Johari 40p
42
48
50p[/code:1:28bd42fe64]

Oglethorpia

01-05-2004, 07:31

The Bureaucratic Tribune
WORLD CUP EDITION! You pay more for the same exact newspaper!

World Cup overshadows Wonderteam retirements?
As World Cup 14 qualifying opens up, Wonderteam staff are concerned that the Cup will overshadow the departure of some of the Wonderteam's best players

By Bill Christmas

OGLETHORPIA (BT) -- Wonderteam players Ken'Ichi Yamamoto, Mike Brown, Fernando Green, Jerome Furukawa, Floyd Black, Baltasar Grey, Jorge White and Torrence Black held a press conference in Megalopolis City earlier this morning to announce their retirement from the Oglethorpian national squad -- citing that many of them were already 'over the hill' or less than a few months away from traversing it -- and felt they were just too old to keep the Wonderteam competitive in the international scene. While press members attending the conference knew a majority of veteran Wonderteam players were retiring, they didn't exactly know why, and apparently didn't care to find out as they were busier with finding our World Cup 14 qualifying matchday 1 results than listening to the speaking Oglethorpian players.

"It's a shame," said World Cup 8-12 manager/coach/head-"guy" Guy Picciotto. "They're great players -- I worked with 'em for four World Cups, but it seems their retirements will be enveloped in the shadow of the bustle surrounding World Cup 14 qualifying."

"It's not as bad as Picciotto says," commented former team captain of the Wonderteam in WCs 9-13 Fernando Green. "I can't play even if I wanted to. I was walkin' down the street, and managed to throw my hip out, which almost resulted in me getting run over by a car -- and in my helplessness, I was mugged. Frankly, i'm glad to retire lest I injure myself more and make things harder in my old age."

"No kidding," commented 42 year old Jorge White. "I may have to get a silicon treatment of my own -- it'as done wonders for Mick Jagger. He's like, what, 60? And still rockin' out."

The World Cup 13 squad is only survived by newcomers Hans Gelb and Rodney Heathen, whose first Cup was WC13 -- and so they will be the veterans when the Bureaucratic States Football Association chooses 9 players from the Oglethorpian Division 1 league to fill the starting positions vacated following World Cup 14 retirements.

"Those guys were great players," added George McDouglas, former President of the defunct Oglethorpian Association of Football (OAF.). "They had youth in World Cup 9 -- but what they lost in age, they made up for in skill. The World Cup 14 replacements will have a lot to live up to, but i'm sure they'll do the Wonderteam justice. The Division 1 league is filled with plenty of stars, and i'm sure we'll see more than a few prodigies steal the lime light. Plus, it doesn't do your team any good if you're going to fall and not be able to get up for the remainder of the match -- or throw your hip out, or some unfortunate accident that will incapacitate you due to your age."

What McDouglas says might even be right -- a recent inter-Division 1 friendly between Fernando Green's Arkham Utd and Torrence Black's Megalopolis City F.C. is rumoured to have seen Fernando Green come off the field with a thrown out hip -- a sign that old age was catching up with the player.

President Mel Green of the current Bureaucratic States Football Association heartily denies it. "They're not that old, you crackpots."

Fernando Green refused to comment on the match -- "I threw my hip out after that -- it never happened during my career."

Green is the only one of the bunch to retire from football completely -- the others plan to continue pursuing their domestic careers.

"I'm glad," commented semi-Wonderteam fan Billy Yellow. "We need some new blood. Damn old farts, stinkin' up the Wonderteam. Y'know, it's good if your players can move -- and not bitch about how much it aches."

Retiring Wonderteam players could not be reached for comment if indeed they really "bitched about how much it aches" when moving around the pitch in their final days with the Oglethorpian national side.

Lovebug

01-05-2004, 08:14

Match Day 1 Results For GROUP 8
Spaam 3 - 0 Carpet
The Belmore Family 3 - 1 Dadostan
Dance 2 Revolution 1 - 0 ElephantandCastle
Alex The Tall 1 - 2 Tingitana
Lovebug 3 - 1 Raptor Claw

KANIELAPAKELIKA: Welcome Back Sports Fans to another LNSNN Broadcast! Oh, I love the smell of freshly cut grass in the early morning!

LOPAKAKIKA: Yes it is a wondeful smell - and I also like to wish everyone in WC14 a happy MAY Day - otherwise known as NAKED DAY here in LOVEBUG - which could possibly have played into the Bulldogs victory today - a stadium full of very sexy naked people and a field full of sexy naked players could be a bit DISTRACTING to say the least.

KANIELAPAKELIKA: Yes this is quite possibly one of the most important national holidays here on the Isle of Lovebug, its a day when we celebrate the beauty that is the human form - it was a tradition that spread in the early 70's; it started at University of Lovebug in Amordoce when a group decided to gather naked around the flag pole to celebrate finishing their exams and it quickly became a hit with the locals and a big tourist draw for our casinos - in the mid-80's it was made a national holiday, and today just about every citizen of Lovebug spends the day walking around NAKED as a JAY BIRD from the night of 30th of April till Midnight May 2nd.

LOPAKAKIKA: The Bulldog's started this tournament off to a great start defeating Raptor Claw. We've never played this outfit before so it was hard to know what to expect out of them.

KANIELAPAKELIKA: What... oh sorry I was distracted for a moment by the naked cue card girl - just kidding honey, the only naked woman I need to see is you. Hmm... Yes back to the game. We got to a quick start - I think that the Raptor's Claw players were highly confused about the whole situation because they just stood there, while Panda "The Bear" Bamboorhttp://www.football-rumours.com/images/takahara5.jpg took the ball all the way from midfield to the goal, without moving an inch! The refs whistle eventually woke them out of their trance and they were able to fend off the Bulldog advance for a short while.

LOPAKAKIKA: We were half way through the first half when Sweeper Raffi "Gorilla" Marley http://www.football-rumours.com/images/EricSabin.jpg was able to distract one of the Claw's players long enough to caputre the ball and pass it down to Right Winger Zebra "Stripper" Black http://www.football-rumours.com/images/dennisrommedahl1.jpg to score our second goal of the game. It helped that their goalie was busy watching the naked Bulldog Cheerleaders and not the net. There wasn't much more
excitement during the first half - except when the Bulldog side did a Naked Wave causing another one of their players to run into the goal - unfortunately for us he had the ball at the time so they were able to get their only score for the game.

KANIELAPAKELIKA: After the half the Raptor Claws came back to the field seemingly more collected than before - they managed to keep us on our toes till the last ten minutes of the matchup when the bulldogs Left Full Back Dingo "The Foreign Fiend" Mei http://www.football-rumours.com/images/brendonsantalab.jpg scored our goal of the match up using only his...well I'll leave that to your imagination folks :wink: !

LOPAKAKIKA: For tommorow's match-up the Bulldog's will be heading to Tingitana [a Bedistan puppet]. This has been a LNSNN Broadcast for myself http://www.msnbc.com/onair/Bios/Global/costas_b.jpg and KANIELAPAKELIKA http://espnradio.espn.go.com/i/columnists/patrick_dan_c.jpg have a wonderful NAKED DAY!!!!

Tadjikistan

01-05-2004, 08:38

Good start for the new Tadjikistan

Dushanbe - The most frequently asked question in Tadjikistan was probably 'How will we do in WC14Q?' Very few dared to answer it, football experts saying we would play good, while the press stayed pessimistic and predicted several losses. And now everyone understands why the experts are called experts, because Tadjikistan won its first match. Altough it did not go as smooth as some wanted.

The Tadjiks played well and made good combinations, but they could not hide the fact that the team had changed alot. Intelligent Madness took advantage of the small faults in the Tadjik defense and made the first goal of the match in the 38th, thus they wer leading 0-1. Tadjikistan could not repair the damage before the pause during which Yakir talked to his team.

Intelligent Madness was already waiting on the field to play the next half while the Tadjiks remained in the changing room. They finally came out after a couple of minutes. Yakirs long talk had its effect especially on the defense, making less mistakes. The ball went forward more often giving the attackers more opportunities to score. In 62th minute Cherniakhovskij picked up the ball on the left flank, outmaneuvered an IM defender and scored the first Tadjik goal, the whole Buranbay stadium cheered as the majority of the fans wer Tadjiks. And they got could cheer again in the 70th minute when Zhukov scored his first and Tadjikistans second goal in these qualifications. The Tadjiks then tried score a third goal and secure their win but they could not get the ball between in the nets. But even without that third goal, the final result -a 2-1 win- was good. The Tadjik fans partied all night long, finally they had a reason to party again.

Tadjikistan will play its next match in and against Aerigia, number 123 on the world ranking list, losing this match would be bad for the new coach, who has to convince the fans that the team is in good hands now. This time both the experts and press say that Tadjikistan is going to win.

first lets see our group:
[code:1:c72b2b0223]
GROUP 6 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Kerla 1 1 0 0 3 0 +3 3
Dennisov 1 1 0 0 3 2 +1 3
Bedistan 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
Belmorian Scandinavia 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
Tadjikistan 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
Keyshona 1 0 0 1 2 3 -1 0
Aerigia 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Intelligent Madness 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Vollmeria 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Bobbystan 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0
[/code:1:c72b2b0223]

Now that you've seen the group, you can my mayches:
M1: Tadjikistan - Intelligent Madness W 2-1
M2: Aerigia - Aerigia
M3: Tadjikistan - Keyshona
M4: Bobbystan - Tadjikistan
M5: Tadjikistan - Bedistan
M6: Kerla - Tadjikistan
M7: Tadjikistan - Dennisov
M8: Belmorian Scandinavia - Tadjikistan
M9: Tadjikistan - Vollmeria
M10: Intelligent Madness - Tadjikistan
M11: Tadjikistan - Aerigia
M12: Keyshona - Tadjikistan
M13: Tadjikistan - Bobbystan
M14: Bedistan - Tadjikistan
M15: Tadjikistan - Kerla
M16: Dennisov - Tadjikistan
M17: Tadjikistan - Belmorian Scandinavia
M18: Vollmeria - Tadjikistan

Kaze Progressa

01-05-2004, 08:40

Daily Kangaroo:

EARLY SCARE BLOWN AWAY IN SECOND-HALF STORM

After perhaps the worst fifteen minutes in Progressan football history, Kaze Progressa found their groove to defeat Dreyar 4-1 in the Progressair Stadium.

The Dreyar side, making their international debut in front of a near-capacity 115,350 crowd in the Progressair Stadium, took a monstrously surprising lead on eight minutes when a streaker came onto the pitch during a Progressan attack. The country's tough police quickly arrested him, but he just managed to clear the ball towards the other end of the pitch, where Dreyar striker, Man #489224, lobbed the confused Esitra Ritahau.

Dreyar then went on to hit the post in the 13th minute through Man #494801, before the nerves were settled on 16 minutes on a counter-attack that led to Craita Weseydal slotting home in the bottom corner.

The first half remained relatively even, but the Progressans visibly had the edge, and should have taken the lead on 35 minutes when Weseydal's first-time shot from a Taunilai low cross somehow hit the outside of the post with the goal at his mercy. That directly led to a Dreyar flurry in the last ten minutes of the half, as the naive players ascertained that the Progressans couldn't score to save their lives.

Half-time couldn't come soon enough for the Progressans, booed loudly off the pitch by the massive crowd, but the second half was one-way traffic. Taunilai opened the floodgates on 51 minutes with a low left-footed drive that beat the Dreyar goalkeeper Man #490240 at the near post; just two minutes later, Weseydal was the scorer again, this time with an instinctive shot from ten yards after an earlier Taunilai shot was deflected; the rout was completed on the hour when Batia Bolidae-Baek, bought on for the ineffectual Raq Maailain, thundered a 30-yard shot into the roof of the net, leaving the goalkeeper afraid to touch the ball. The last thirty minutes were processional as the Dreyar players huddled together in the penalty box to prevent anyone scoring, though Bolidae-Baek tried his best with a 45-yard curling lob that went inches over the bar.

Magnus Valerius

01-05-2004, 11:09

The Valerian Voice

Valeria Locks Horns With Lovisa, 2-2
by Charles Berry

On Qualifying Matchday 1, The Boyars played Away versus the Lovisan League and managed a fine draw. Josh Kouzoff (#02) kept a defense manageable for the Boyars while keen new strikers John Leopold (#45) and Samuel Vittorio (#22) scored the two goals in the latter half of the game. Even though Lovisa had us in a draw, we view this draw with optimism. In the last WC, Valeria started a losing streak right at QD 1. We could very well be on the road of improvement with our fabulous new lineup for the Boyars.

In the next matchday, we hope for a victory.

Meanwhile, the other teams that have been expected to perform well have already won stunning victories against the newcoming teams and a perennial loser. Oddslavo won the greatest of the teams, with a cakewalk versus Lennon Marx 4-0. Dead Man, Makongo-Wodimalongo, and The Fivefold Star were all losers. Commerce Heights, Svecia, and Stalag 5, the first two whom which have been predicted to qualify, have won matches for the first matchday.

GROUP 5 QD1 SCORES
Commerce Heights 3 - 1 Dead Man
Svecia 4 - 1 Makongo-Wodimalongo
Oddslavo 4 - 0 The Fivefold Star
Stalag 5 2 - 1 Lennon Marx
Lovisa 2 - 2 Magnus Valerius

[code:1:81a6ea34e1]GROUP 5 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Oddslavo 1 1 0 0 4 0 +4 3
Svecia 1 1 0 0 4 1 +3 3
Commerce Heights 1 1 0 0 3 1 +2 3
Stalag 5 1 1 0 0 2 2 +1 3
Lovisa 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
Magnus Valerius 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
Lennon Marx 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Dead Man 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0
Makongo-Wodimalongo 1 0 0 1 1 4 -3 0
The Fivefold Star 1 0 0 1 0 4 -4 0 [/code:1:81a6ea34e1]

Brought to you by His Majesty's Brand Vodka*:
"Give up your rights and pledge your loyalty into one man... while drinking his favorite vodka!"
* A Brand of the Valerian Breweries and Distilleries Confederation

Noriega Tigers Offer To Buy Josh Kouzoff
by Natalia Bane

Today, in his Imperial Estate, Emperor Alexander II, whose official title is far too long to mention, received an offer from the Noriega Tigers, a team in the Giant Zucchini Premier League. They have offered to purchase midfielder Josh Kouzoff. The promising player had helped hold the defense in the first qualifying game versus Lovisa, but he was still fresh in the major leagues of Valeria. The Emperor had to think about the offer carefully before he told us at The Valerian Voice on his decision.

"I've decided," he said. "I think I'll allow them to sign up Josh Kouzoff. However, I would like for their team to name their price and their conditions before I give a 100% OK. Josh Kouzoff is a positive factor, but not vital to our success in the World Cups this time around. We have plenty of more talent to go around in all of our new players."

Josh Kouzoff (#02), 21, is a native of Valerius Prime. He and his fiancee, Yuki, are expecting their first child in six months, when the Boyars should be in training post-WC XIV.

The Belmore Family

01-05-2004, 11:25

Belmorians give Dadostan a good Arse bashing.

Dadostan were given a good Arse bashing in Alan City stadium last night as The Belmore Family conquered them 3-1. With goals coming from Rivers and Belmore it was a very deserved win. The Belmorians controled the game start to finish, with the first goal coming on the 27th minute. It came after Belmore's shot was parried by the keeper leaving an open goal for Rivers who just tapped the ball into the net sending the Belmorians wild.

The next goal came early in the second half when Aggleton did a harsh tackle on <player 12> in the box leading to a penalty for the away side. <player 7> camly strode up and placed the ball in the back of the net to equal the scores.

But this only spurred on the Belmorians, as shown by there response of a goal by Alan Belmore after only 30 seconds of the previous. The cross by Rivers was met by Belmore's head to keep the Belmorians on top.

After several missed chances front 3, it was left to Rivers to finalise the match when he was one-on-one with the keeper. So in the end it was a descive 3-1 victory for the Belmorians, just what they needed before the match in Spaam.

FINAL SCORE
THE BELMOER FAMILY 3

DADOSTAN 1

Jeruselem

01-05-2004, 13:32

Jeruselem Government News

Rusty Crusaders managed draw

Jeruselem managed a 1-1 draw with Wella after a spell of enforced rest after the Eagle's Cup II. Several major stars were rested for the game to overcome small injuries picked up earlier in the Eagle's Cup II. An early goal by Wella set the trend for game, but Jeruselem levelled late in the game as per usual to save the team's blushes.

Group 9 includes Giant Zucchini and One Red Dot as well as ally Nanakaland in it's first appearance.

GROUP 9
Gesamtkuntswerk 3 - 0 The mighty spurs
Giant Zucchini 3 - 2 Shang-Ti
One Red Dot 3 - 1 Clearwater
Aquilla 1 - 0 Nanakaland
Jeruselem 1 - 1 Wella

Lallania

01-05-2004, 13:34

The jubilation on the faces of the Lallanian team members could be seen from the farthest seats in the stadium as they jogged onto the field in what would be the first World Cup match in their country's history. The joy was short lived. World Cup powerhouse Europa Britannia struck early, scoring their first goal five minutes into their match. Lallania's lack of experience became apparent, as it was not until halfway through the second half that they started truly testing the opponent's keeper. But by that time, the damage had been done, and Lallania found themselves down by four, playing against Europa Brittania's reserves.

After the match, coach Gorotia was disappointed, and even his trademark optimism seemed to be flagging.

"We didn't play well. It was tough making out debut against a team this talented, but I didn't expect this. This was one of the worst games in the entire first round. At least it gets easier from here, at least a little bit."

The coach predicted that the team will score its first goal against Brazillico, but remains cautious about seeming arrogant.

"I don't know when we will see our first win, or our first tie. There is a long road ahead of us. When it happens, it will happen. But in the meantime, the last thing we can do is give ourselves false hope by blaming our losses on anything other than the fact that we were outplayed. Period."

The announced lineup for game two is:

G - Bertram Ellenwitz
D - Reggie Cross
D - Andrei Temeodor
D - Jasper Palt
M - Fra Angelico
M - Gregor Minzer
M - Yvgeny Ollinitch
M - Vlad Staltar
F - Jean-Luc Brouillard
F - Term Fezzel
F - Alexander Malinov

Rejistania

01-05-2004, 13:41

From the KaMaRi Update:

Let the dream come true
The Orange-Blues started their run for qualification with a 3-0 win against Ineptia. The Ineptians demonstrated that they don't have their name in vain: They didn't find the way to Sike kali and somehow managed to get to Kalisimu kali without noticing that something is wrong. When the Inepts finally found Sike kaletri, it was 2 hours after schedule.

When the match started, the rejistanian System Imdila met an Inept System Chaos. The Orange-Blues profited from the utter lack of tactics in the 3rd minute when Milan Tia~e had the first 100% chance, which only missed the goal by centimeters. The Rejistanians had some other good chances, but unfortunatly lacked the right amount of luck. In the 26th minute, Liy Ra finally did what everyone was waiting for: He archieved the lead for the Orange-Blues. In the 38th minute, Milan Tia~e extended the lead after defensive errors of two inept players who were listed as forwards. The first half ended 2-0 for The Orange-Blues.

In the second half, the Inepts finally made first attempts to play tactically. In their case it ment: System Karela. The Orange-Blues had only fewer chances in this second half due to this, but one led to the final score of 3-0. Milan "Tihrana" Tia~e outsmarted the Inept defense, which ment most of the Inept team, in the 76th minute.

The result:
Rejistania 3 (Tia~e 38th 76th, Ra 26th)
Ineptia 0

One Red Dot

01-05-2004, 13:51

The Red Dot Informant
Est. since WCIX

GZ, ORD in Group 9, Clearwater Did Not Look So Fine

"Is the draw really random, or is there a conspiracy?"

That is one of the biggest questions in the minds of Dottians, nad perhaps the Zucchinis, as ORD and GZ are drawn into the same group 3 times in a row: WC13 Qualifying, WC13 1st Round and now WC14 Qualifying. Perhaps now the derbies can happen more often, but more and more fans are accusing the WCC of what may become an unfair representation later in the World Cup itself.

In qualifying news, One Red Dot dealt a 3-1 blow to Clearwater, givng ORD a debut victory at the Royal Red Dot National Stadium. Giant Zucchini, Gesamtkuntserk and Aquilla also earned one victory each.

Group 9 Qualifying Tables provided by Oglethorpia and Kingsford
[code:1:2d0a006017]GROUP 9 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Gesamtkuntswerk 1 1 0 0 3 0 +3 3
One Red Dot 1 1 0 0 3 1 +2 3
Giant Zucchini 1 1 0 0 3 2 +1 3
Aquilla 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
Jeruselem 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
Wella 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
Shang-Ti 1 0 0 1 2 3 -1 0
Nanakaland 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
Clearwater 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0
The mighty spurs 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0[/code:1:2d0a006017]

Analysts have predicted that Gesamtkuntswerk, Giant Zucchini and One Red Dot are to continue to the next round, but Aquilla might provide some resistance.

01-05-2004, 15:22

[code:1:3e1b2fd354]GROUP 9 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Gesamtkuntswerk 1 1 0 0 3 0 +3 3
One Red Dot 1 1 0 0 3 1 +2 3
Giant Zucchini 1 1 0 0 3 2 +1 3
Aquilla 1 1 0 0 1 0 +1 3
Jeruselem 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
Wella 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
Shang-Ti 1 0 0 1 2 3 -1 0
Nanakaland 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
Clearwater 1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0
The mighty spurs 1 0 0 1 0 3 -3 0[/code:1:3e1b2fd354]

Well, one loss is okay, I guess, in my first world cup.

The Lowland Clans

01-05-2004, 15:27

ASNN - SportsTalk World Cup Qualifying Coverage

TLC Stars vs Turnia Dragons

Starting Line Up
[code:1:befafa939d]
---------Asten-----McKeehan-----Blackwing-----Jeremy---------

--------------Julios---------Illius---------Rose-------------

----------West--------------McGraff-----------Jergen---------[/code:1:befafa939d]

Jason George: Hi folks, and welcome to another SportsTalk show, and our first LIVE broadcast of a Stars game.

Pontoon Perry: *Appears with casts and various limbs as well as crutches* Yep, and it's a lovely day here at Graham City Stadium. Hey, Jason?

JG: Yeah?

PP: Can you move my chair a little forward, I can't see the pitch

JG: *gets up and moves the chair*

PP: *sharp cry of pain*

JG: *cringes* Well, it's what you get for messing with the manager of the national soccer team

PP: *mutters something under breath*

JG: Alright, let's get started. These Dragons don't look to threatening, if I do say so myself...

PP: Well, what do you expect from a bunch of n00bs? In my opinion though, this will be a good test match for the new finesse system that McKay has been planning. It should be a fun match with the starters given plenty of room to run.

JG: Agreed, well, here come the teams!

*Teams enter, and Graham City Stadium roars in approval as the Stars enter*

PP: Alright, let's get this game underway!

Tenth Minute
PP: Oooooooh, that was close. I really would question that call, that looked alot like it was worth a card.

JG: Yes it did, and Jeremy is fuming about it, but is ready to take the kick. And there he is....OH! GOAL! What a beautiful header by Pavel Julios, excellent!

PP: Yes, it sure does, and I think this is going to be indicative of the rest of the game.

Twenty Second Minute
JG: And Illius steals the ball, and takes it up the pitch. He's running along side Rose, and here comes a Dragon defender.

PP: Look at that weaving technique that their using, beautiful, dropping the ball and having the other pick it up, very nice indeed.

JG: There at half now, and Rose breaks off. He charges down the middle, and lays a nice pass to Blackwing on the right, he crosses tp Asten, Asten shoots! OH, HE HIT THE POST!

Thirty Third Minute
JG: Alright, thrown in from about half. This certainly has been an exciting game, wouldn't you agree Pontoon?

PP: I'm cramping up again, can you move the chair?

JG: *moves*

PP: Thanks, and yes it has-whoa! *falls of chair*

JG: Oh, that one gotta hurt. *focuses back on pitch* Alright, here goes the throw from Julios. Illius takes it and fires off a quick one to McKeehan, who powers down the middle. He drops it to Jeremy, he shoots, of the post - Asten grabs the rebound and SCORES! brilliant goal from Asten!

PP: Help, please?

Fourtieth Minute
JG: Alright, corner for the Dragons. They let it go, it floats over the middle...OH!, that's a card, come on ref! He took out his legs from under him, THAT'S BULLS***!

PP: Agreed, Jason, but the ref doesn't seem to agree, and the score is now two to one.

JG: *grumbles* Alright, let's go to the out of town scoreboard. Well, it looks like Runaway Moose and Liverpool England both won their matches by a large margin, while NASTIC 2 was upset by Winged Animals.

Fifty Third Minute
PP: Ok, it looks like we got a card in the box by the Dragons, that was totally undisciplined play by their man, thye really are getting frustrated by the dominance of the Stars on the ball.

JG: Alright, Jeremy is going to take the penalty. He drops it right corner and SCORES! just past the goalies finger tips, brilliant! Three to One Stars!

Seventy Eighth Minutes
JG: Well, this game is becoming even more onesided as we speak. The Stars just missed another chance, and it's a goal kick for the Dragons. OH! it's blocked by a quick Pavel Julios, and he's on it with an open goal! HE SHOOTS AND HE SCORES! FOUR TO ONE STARS!

Ninty First Minute
PP: Alright, people, that's it! The Stars just dismantled the Turnian Dragons four to one, certainly an excellent showing for the new finesse system of Jeffery McKay.

TLC Stars 4 - 1 Turnian Dragons
Julios (10th, Jeremy Assist)
Asten (23rd, Jeremy Assist)
Jeremy (53rd, No Assist)
Julios (78th, No Assist)

Giant Zucchini

01-05-2004, 16:37

NEWSFLASH:

Giant Zucchini started off their first qualifying match with a brilliant attacking display. Zonk scored 2 goals, Phoot finishing things off in the first half with a mazy dribble down the middle before placing it into the far post. The zucchinis almost lost it late as Plaat let in 2 goals in injury time, but Shang-Ti's pluck couldn't produce the equaliser.

Final score:
Giant Zucchini - 3
Shang-Ti - 2

Total n Utter Insanity

01-05-2004, 16:43

Belmorians give Dadostan a good Arse bashing.

Several Belmorian Players have been arrested by Interpol following the serious allegations of rape and lewd behaviour by the Dadostan Team. Alan Belmore being lead away in handcuffs had this to say:

"What?"

More on this news story as it develops.

01-05-2004, 17:19

lol

Vilita

01-05-2004, 17:29

ooc...

lol

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

It's settled, show me no more. Nanakaland has already sealed my vote for best new World Cup RP'er!

Kingsford

01-05-2004, 18:21

I dunno, I think Lanky Dude holds it

Rejistania

01-05-2004, 19:04

we lose
That was a good RP ;)

Total n Utter Insanity

01-05-2004, 19:25

OOC: I'm not sure why hardly anyone is signing up for the U21 World Cup, maybe because the forums have been a complete bitch for the past month, but anyway here is the link (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=138321), 10 places left.

01-05-2004, 20:58

(Ramzi 58 ) :: (Jacobson 26, Larson 78 )

Thomas Larson headed home in the 78th minute to put the Warriors ahead for the second time, while Giacomo Adika found himself in the referees book for complaining about his own mistake. Paul Jacobson had opened the scoring for Praying2God with a close-range header - his first goal this year and his 27th of his career. Jacobson had earlier been denied from the spot by Vilita goalkeeper Massimo Corsi, who expertly pushed away his spot-kick. Jürgen Ramzi's bright return marked with a goal on the hour had seemingly earned the away side a vital point, before Larson's late intervention.

I have several issues with this RP. :evil:

First, let's get our facts straight. Jacobson has never scored for the national team, and he's only played in one WC match.

But the Warriors did make the breakthrough their play had deserved in the 26th minute. Peterson took the ball around Corsi and tried a shot, but Jacobson stole in to nod into an empty net from six yards. Praying2God were dealt a blow at the start of the second half, with defender Noah Bell limping out of the action to be replaced by Carl Adams .

Praying2God responded, though, with Joseph King forcing a fine save from Corsi from 25 yards. But it was Larson, regular team captain who was left on the bench in favor of goalscore jacobsen, who came on with 10 minutes remaining, taking just six minutes to make an impact. He connected with a hopeful shot from Johnson to head the ball past a stranded Corsi.

Okay, the minor injury is an okay reason to make a substitution in an RP, even though you should let the opponent decide if one of their players gets injured. However, sitting somebody else's captain and leading scorer is absolutely unacceptable without their concent, and you didn't even ASK me about it! :evil:

I suggest that the scoring be amended to read:
Larson (26th minute from Johnson)
Harper (78th minute from Anderson)

OOC-I am also going to put in a suggestion to the rules committee to make sure this doesn't happen again.

Brazillico

01-05-2004, 21:14

The Brazillico Advance

PWNED!
Brazillico dominate in qualifying opener against The Confederate

By Jake Tartare

Brazillico witnessed its most solid entry ever into qualifying yesterday, scoring a convincing 4-0 victory over The Confederate at Undelay Industries Stadium in Kalita.

The Chili Bats wasted no time in opening the score, a splendid cross by Sandro Cannon to Alex Cannon was met with a half-volley which he directed over General Lee and into the top portion of the net, opening the score at 1-0.

Things only got worse for The Confederate, as the officials called an equipment time-out in the ninth minute to verify if Daisy Duke’s shorts were up to code. Unfortunately for the away side, they did not qualify with the WCC Regulation that shorts can be no more than one foot and a half north of the knee, a stipulation placed in the rulebook as it was believed shorts any shorter may lend to embarrassing wardrobe malfunctions. As a result, Daisy Duke was sent off, much to the chagrin of her fellow Confederate players and the largely male audience.

With the man advantage, Brazillico’s dominance over The Confederate was magnified, with the away side being forced to bring pretty much everyone back to help on defence. The Confederate was able to stymie Brazillico’s charge for quite some time, thanks in part to their 9-1-0 and also to the stellar play of General Lee. Despite having the ball in The Confederate’s end for much of the first half, Brazillico were not able to add to their score.

The second half was the same story, strong defensive play by The Confederate paired by sensation goaltending by General Lee kept the gulf between the two teams at one. The Confederate realized late in the game that they needed a goal and began to open up a bit, and Brazillico’s speed took over. A fine play by Alex Cannon to steal the ball saw him pass it over to Sandro in the 69th Minute. Sandro dropped it back to Junior Socrates, who one-touched it over to Tobias Cannon. Tobias let fly with a hard shot from just outside the box, but the General hurried over to stop the ball, deflecting it over the net. It appeared as though Brazillico wasn’t going to solve General Lee again.

But the General couldn’t hold the fort forever. On the ensuing corner kick, Tom Maracana chipped on into the box, directly to a soaring Sandro Cannon. Cannon chipped the ball into the top portion of the net, as a hopeless General Lee watched it careen over him. 2-0 for the Bats.

This seemed to really yield a breakthrough for the Brazillican side, as they realized if they were going to beat the General, they had to go high. And the flood gates opened after that.

Alex Cannon, who had a simply sensational game, was able to block a clearing attempt by Boss Hogg and found himself in a foot race for the ball. It appeared as though a Sloth was racing a Gazelle, as Alex Cannon won the foot race and proceeded to chip it over General Lee who was cheating off his line. 3-0 Brazillico and the match appeared to be well in hand.

But Brazillico wasn’t done, and yet again, it was their speed which allowed them to break free. Substitute Nelson Bilbao played a deep ball into The Confederate’s zone, which Sandro Cannon was able to collect and beat out the offside call. All 80,000 in attendance thought that Sandro was going to try his luck and blast one on General Lee, but he made the unselfish play and passed it to his brother who was trailing up the middle. Alex Cannon shot the pass and reception and put it in towards the far post. A barrage of hats came flying down from the rafters of Undelay Industries Stadium as Brazillico celebrated Alex Cannon’s third and Brazillico’s fourth.

That was all she wrote, a solid 4-0 performance by the Chili Bats. Brazillico now sits on top of the Group 10 tables on virtue that B is higher up in the alphabetic pecking order the E. Their next match will be against relative unknowns Lallania, where the Chili Bats should expect a stiffer challenge in this encounter of teams who got thrashed by Europa Britannia in their first ever matches. Also, Lallania has guarenteed a goal in this match; a stiff challenge which has been heard by the young Brazillican defence core, who were pretty much untested in this contest.

Vilita

01-05-2004, 21:19

ooc...

First, let's get our facts straight. Jacobson has never scored for the national team, and he's only played in one WC match.

Now he's played in 2, scored in 1 as far as im concerned. I'm not going to wait around 18 hours to ask you who you want to score the goals :) i wrote the rp, and wont object to you writing your own, completely inconsistent rp, if you so wish. If you wanted me to RP based on past goals, appearances, etc... you should specify them somewhere....

01-05-2004, 21:32

Vilita

01-05-2004, 21:35

Now he's played in 2, scored in 1 as far as im concerned. I'm not going to wait around 18 hours to ask you who you want to score the goals :) i wrote the rp, and wont object to you writing your own, completely inconsistent rp, if you so wish. If you wanted me to RP based on past goals, appearances, etc... you should specify them somewhere....

OOC- I wasn't saying that you needed to ask me who I want to score my goals. I was just saying that you had no business posting an RP where you sat my team captain and leading scorer. That is the sort of thing that I'd expect from a noob, not somebody who has participated in a couple of WCs already like yourself. I believe that you need to read up on the rules, because it is in the rules that opposing RPs of the same match need to correspond with each other-not provide two completely different recaps of the match.

By the way, I check my e-mail on a fairly regular basis (unless I've posted saying that I'm going to be away from home for a couple of days), so you wouldn't have been waiting 18 hours for a response. :P

ehhhh... we'll know for next time then :) I've removed the injury But I would feel wrong taking away the goal from the kid, being his first one on the stage and what not, I think personally it's more fun to have the opponent choose who scores for you, and what happens, Maybe the kid impressed in training all week and the Captain guy had twisted an ankle and opted being the leader that he is to not waste space in the starting lineup, who knows, I have noted that it was that other guys first international goal in the report, trying my best to salvage what I hoped would be a fun RP :) I'll be sure to let you be first to our next match and have full creative liberty over my starting lineup!

The Weegies

01-05-2004, 22:00

OOC: Playing2God, please, calm down. My two mickles...

It's not as if Vilita was writing disparagingly about your side, like both your goals came from dodgy penalty decisions and your team was crap apart from that or something rather noobish. While it's not very nice to not be under complete control of your players, especially where injury is concerned, it was not a terrible RP, and I think you're over-reacting a little. And about the first goal; it's not that amazing for a man who's never scored to score once or twice, even in his international career. Hell, defenders score lots of times, and defenders aren't supposed to be the goal machines, are they?

Vilita, injury is a very contentious issue that can be very easily descend into noobish stupidity. While I personally don't think you did anything wrong, I think it's best if you leave opposing sides' injury RP's to opposing sides, to prevent a big argument like this from arising.

*goes back to rule books*

Bedistan

02-05-2004, 00:27

[joining what should be BPSR-FM's live radio coverage of the match...]

Radio News Guy: "...as she made her way toward the limousine. Presidential security did their best, but it appears they were unable to save her. The president is currently in critical condition at Columbia Medical Center, but it is highly unlikely that she will live through the night."

*pause*

Radio News Guy: "This just in -- the World Cup qualifying match against Vollmeria has just concluded in Midway, with the result being a 2-1 victory for the Lions. Now we will go to Columbia police chief Charles Greenwood to try to get some sort of explanation as to why this happened today. Hello, Charles...?"

[OOC: I seem to have come down with something of a sickness and am kinda out of it right now. Expect better hopefully by matchday 3.]

Eauz

02-05-2004, 00:28

Le LIBRE

Qualifying for WC14 starts

The 14th world cup, will be played in Oglethorpia and Kingsford, but before reaching that area, Les Bleus must qualify. The world cup qualifying just recently commenced pitting Les Bleus against Oceaice at Le Stade d’Eauz in Zuka.

In the first half, Les Bleus knew they would be the team to beat by all teams, having the rank of #1 of all teams. Les Bleus though, got to start off play against a new team from Oceaice. The match started off with Les Bleus putting on a strong attack early, resulting in an early goal during the 11th minute of play. The goal came from a long kick, deflecting off of a defender, into the net. Les Bleus started off where they finished off in the first world cup putting them up 1 – 0. The Oceaice defence would prove to not exist throughout the game, as a few minutes later, Les Bleus put on another attack, getting past the defence, and tapping it into the goal, putting Les Bleus up 2 – 0 at the 20th minute of play. Oceaice thought would answer back quickly as they gained control of the ball. A free kick in the Eauz zone provided that answer, being headed into the net, giving Yeuseuv no chance. Les Bleus were playing sloppy football, letting in an easy goal such as that. The score would stay at 2 – 1 until late in the second half.

The second half brought about a slue of goals late. During the 70th minute, Les Bleus from a corner kick answered back with their own header, passing through the hands of the keeper. Les Bleus were up 3 – 1 and were looking for more. Keeping the ball out of the Oceaice possession, Les Bleus put more stress on the defence with many kicks, resulting finally in a fourth goal at the 75th minute of play. With a 4 – 1 lead, Les Bleus expected a win, but the defence became lazy, allowing Oceaice to put on a stronger attack. The attack came during the 84th minute of play, as Les Bleus were caught with only 1 defensive man and Yeuseuv. Oceaice capitalized on the opportunity, and scored easily sailing into the left corner of the net. With the match at 4 – 2, it was pretty much over. Les Bleus played conservatively, having given up 2 goals against a new team.

Coach’s comments: I’m glad that we won, we played very well, but near the end, I don’t know if the defence became tired, or what, but our team just plain sucked in the late period of play. We need to win these matches without giving up a goal. If we were playing against teams like Europa Britannia, or Bedistan, or even Liverpool England, one would expect to give up a goal or two, but not against a new team.

The next match for Les Bleus will be against Europa Britannia at home in Zuka. Les Bleus are once again matched in the same group pas EB, and expect this match to be close, like all the other matches they have played against EB. In the last qualifying round, Les Bleus were 1 – 0 – 1, with a goal difference of 0. Expect a well played match between the two teams, but with a more experienced Eauz team, Les Bleus could take this the two matches against EB.

[code:1:b412861e5a]
GROUP 10 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Brazillico 1 1 0 0 4 0 +4 3
Europa Britannia 1 1 0 0 4 0 +4 3
Eauz 1 1 0 0 4 2 +2 3
EL CID THE HERO 1 1 0 0 2 1 +1 3
Largent 1 0 0 1 2 1 +1 3
Melmond 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
The Weegies 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Oceaice 1 0 0 1 2 4 -2 0
Lallania 1 0 0 1 0 4 -4 0
The Confederate 1 0 0 1 0 4 -4 0
[/code:1:b412861e5a]

Match Day 1: Oceaice @ Eauz W 4 - 2
Match Day 2: Europa Britannia vs Eauz
Match Day 3: Eauz @ Brazillico
Match Day 4: The Weegies @ Eauz
Match Day 5: Eauz @ EL CID THE HERO
Match Day 6: Melmond @ Eauz
Match Day 7: Eauz @ Largent
Match Day 8: The Confederate @ Eauz
Match Day 9 : Eauz @ Lallania

Match Day 10: Eauz @ Oceaice
Match Day 11: Eauz @ Europa Britannia
Match Day 12: Brazillico @ Eauz
Match Day 13: Eauz @ The Weegies
Match Day 14: EL CID THE HERO @ Eauz
Match Day 15: Eauz @ Melmond
Match Day 16: Largent @ Eauz
Match Day 17: Eauz @ The Confederate
Match Day 18: Lallania @ Eauz

Bedistan

02-05-2004, 00:31

Now there's an unusual one -- a double post separated by someone else's post... :lol:

NASTIC 2

02-05-2004, 00:51

Well it looks like Nàstic™ will be stinking up another World Cup tournament.

Eauz

02-05-2004, 02:02

Now there's an unusual one -- a double post separated by someone else's post... :lol:

You should automatically win the Cup, just for something innovative such as this.

Snub Nose 38

02-05-2004, 04:00

P2G - Vilita:

Please see what Brazillico wrote in the "World Cup Reference Book" thread. I agree with it.

What are we really talking about?

Which players are on or off a make believe pitch in an imaginary match, the results of which have already been decided by generating random numbers...

Yes, I think coutesy would keep us from leaving a sides known captain or best player off the pitch, or red-carding either. But, folks, in the end, it's just a game we're playing to have fun. So work with one another, and when something like this happens, if it annoys one of us, let's all try NOT to do whatever was annoying.

Lovebug

02-05-2004, 06:32

After our naked match yesterday - local tailors from our region sent over these jersey's - I guess they didn't realize the team wanted to be naked :D being may day and all! But since we have been trying to get them any how I'll take it. Presenting our new Jersey's and our very own line of shoes :D

http://blackboard.washcoll.edu/courses/1/PSY_399_10_03FA/uploads//_8378_1/uniform.jpg

http://blackboard.washcoll.edu/courses/1/PSY_399_10_03FA/uploads//_8379_1/shoes.jpg

Vilita

02-05-2004, 06:39

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/ao/vn.gif

Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) 1 - 0 Ineptia

(Chapman 8 ) :: ( - none -)

The Colony of Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) Jungle Cats earned the first win of their World Cup XIV Qualifying Campaign over a surprisingly effective Ineptia side in their first run out on the Inter-NationStatal stage.

In a performance that was more about heart and effort than quality a rare piece of brilliance, winger Nigel Chapman gave Vilita an eighth minute lead that the whole team then defended for their lives. Although all thirteen players who took part in the game were outstanding, two performances in particular stood out. In goal Massimo Corsi produced a faultless show and in front of him, teenager Danilo Liguori was rock solid in everything he did.

Corsi was called into action as early as the 5th minute, dealing well with an Inept' shot, before, from their first meaningful attack, Vilita took the lead. Chapman collected the ball some 35 yards out and, after advancing a couple of paces, fired a stunning left-foot drive that flew past the Inept' Keeper into the corner of the net. Before the home side had time to respond, he almost doubled the Jungle Cats lead following an error by an Inept' Defender. However, this time the Inept' Keeper got a hand on his effort. The Inept' keeper then produced another fine stop to tip Jürgen Ramzi’s goalbound shot to safety. As the half progressed the Inept' side began to force Vilita back. Their first close escape came after 23 minutes when Giacamo Adika was forced to clear an Inept' shot off the line. Moments later Corsi caught an Inept' free-kick at full stretch and on 30 minutes he got down well to deny another Inept' effort. Vilita did suffer a setback just after the half hour when Callum Banda limped off to be replaced by Jim Vella. The substitute headed a Ramzi free-kick straight at the Inept' keeper on the stroke of half time.

The Inept' national team came out looking the better side in the second half. Time and again the ball was lifted into the danger area but with Liguori and Adika winning almost everything in the air this approach was yielding little in the way of clear chances. When the ball did drop kindly to an Inept' player the chance was blocked or Corsi was equal to the threat. On a rare Jungle Cat attack, Germán Salomón tested the Inept' keeper, but the pressure on the Vilita goal was almost relentless. The big Jungle Cat keeper again got down low to stop an Inept' header with 16 minutes remaining.

Cheered on by the innumerable amount of Inept' fans, one might have felt the home side were bound to level the scores. With barely a minute remaining, the chance was there after an Inept' cross found a man inside the box, only for Corsi to tip his attempted shot over the bar. Deep into stoppage time, an Inept' corner was to be taken, and their keeper was sent up field. However, the Inept' keeper did more harm than good, and was fortunate to only receive a yellow card for clattering into his opposite number. As the game reached the sixth minute of added time Vilita broke out of defence and should have capped their performance with a second goal. Vella carried the ball to the edge of the Inept' area and released Kecker. He went for power with his shot only for the ball to crash against the bar. Luckily it made no difference as seconds later the final whistle blew leaving the Jungle Cats with their first victory of the WCQ XIV Campaign.

Bookings: Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) - none; Ineptia - Inept' Keeper (91+6) .

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/ineptia.jpg Ineptia
While this is the first World Cup for Ineptia, no one can doubt their potential. One of the single largest nations in the World, Ineptia will have the largest pool of talent to choose from in their maiden qualification run than any team in the history of the sport. While the experience of some of the other sides will likely show through in the end, If there is any unranked team capabable of causing a dent in the Qualifying Process, it is inevitably Ineptia.
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

GROUP 4 MD2 Results:

Ineptia 0 - 1 Vilita
Hawcoat 0 - 2 Praying2God
Crystilakere 2 - 1 Iansisle
Danilotown 1 - 4 Tanah Burung
Rejistania 0 - 2 Sqournshelous

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

Current Group 4 Standings:

[code:1:57884ed93a]
GROUP 4 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Sqournshelous 2 2 0 0 8 0 +8 6
Tanah Burung 2 2 0 0 8 2 +6 6
Praying2God 2 2 0 0 4 1 +3 6
Rejistania 2 1 0 1 3 2 +1 3
Vilita 2 1 0 1 2 2 0 3
Crystilakere 2 1 0 1 3 5 -2 3
Iansisle 2 0 1 1 3 4 -2 1
Hawcoat 2 0 1 1 2 4 -2 1
Ineptia 2 0 0 2 0 4 -4 0
Danilotown 2 0 0 2 1 10 -9 0
[/code:1:57884ed93a]

Return To Group 4 Information Page (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3106886#3106886)

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/sched.gif
M01:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [2] Praying2God <- [Match Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3111724#3111724)]
M02:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [0] Ineptia <- [Match Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3117831#31)]

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif
The Colony of Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) Jungle Cats will be looking to qualify for the World Cup finals in their second attempt after failing to do so in WCQ XIII. The Jungle Cats are currently undefeated in the last 6 Atlantian Oceania (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_region/region=atlantian_oceania) Regional championships, and look poised to add to that total in the upcoming Atlantian Oceania (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_region/region=atlantian_oceania) Olympic games. Their squad will consist of mostly young stars from the National league, with a few experienced veterans, from the days before baseball was outlawed in the Nation, to guide them on their way to Glory.

The Evil Umpire

02-05-2004, 06:42

We win! Yay!

Turnia

02-05-2004, 06:54

Turnia City Tribune

Turnia City, Turnia --

The Lowland Clans soar over Dragons 4-1

As all of Turnia readied themselves for today's opening game against top group seed The Lowland Clans, spirits were high, "We may be new to the Cup, but I am for our guys 100%!", said one rabid bar patron. "Dragons all the way baby! Yeah!!!!!!!!!", said another.

Hopes remained high as the Dragons scored their first (and only goal) to make the game 2-1 TLC. However, Coach Odle may have let his players celebrate prematurely, as a lack of focus and frustration began to set in.

TLC began a relentless assult on goal prompting only more sloppy play by the Freshmen Dragons. "TLC really took it to us after we scored. We lost our center, forgot the game plan. We lost control and played reckless. It was frustrating", said team captain J.S. Turner Jr.

As bar patrons filed out after the 4-1 loss, a few 4 letter words were heard, but overall, spirits remain high. The day ended with this closing remark by Coach Odle, "Back to the drawing board".

Indeed.

02-05-2004, 07:52

OOC- Luckily I was on the computer when the scores were posted this time. :lol:

IC-

Marie Law (MeL): I'm coming to you live from the nation of Hawcoat, where the Warriors have continued their fast start to WC XIV qualifying by winning 2-0. The Warriors goals were scored by the husband-and-wife duo that has led the Warriors in scoring since WC XII. Kelly Carter Larson scored off a corner taken by Rachel Peterson in the 39th minute, and then Thomas Larson added the insurance goal in the 52nd minute on a cross from Joseph King. Joining me is Head Coach Martin Luther joins me to talk about how things are going. Coach, what do you think of your team's start?

Martin Luther (MaL): We haven't really proven anything yet. We were supposed to win both games, and we have. However, we haven't looked very impressive doing it. Winning by one goal against a team ranked 20 places below us is not acceptable, and beating a team ranked 50 spots below us isn't any better. We won't know how good we really are until the fifth match of qualifying, when we meet up with Rejistania at the House of Prayer. Frankly, I would be disappointed if we went into that match worse than 4-0-0.

MeL: Why do you say that, Coach?

MaL: We're the heavy favorites in all four matches, so we need to take care of business if we're going to have any chance at qualifying. Like I've been saying, our chances at qualifying hinge on taking care of business against the teams ranked below us, and pulling out some wins against the teams ranked ahead of us, especially if we can pull the upsets early on and force them to have to catch us.

MeL: The fact that you haven't played anybody yet aside, how has your team played in the first two matches?

MaL: We certainly have work to do yet. Hopefully we'll be able to get the kinks worked out before Rejistania comes into our place. I believe the toughest stretch of qualifying for us will be the two three match stretches against the top three ranked teams in our group. Fortunately, the first time we see them, two of the three matches are at home.

MeL: Care to make a prediction as to how your team will do?

MaL: I've told you before, I don't make predictions...especially not this early in the Cup. I'll just say that if we keep winning, we'll have a decent chance to qualify.

MeL: Thank you for your time, Coach. Good luck to you and your team during the rest of qualifying. Let's send it back to Jennifer in the studio.

Jennifer Johnson: Thank you, Marie, for your typical excellent report. Just to recap for those of you who are just tuning in...the Warriors defeated Hawcoat today 2-0 behind goals by Kelly Carter Larson and Thomas Larson. Their next match is in the House of Prayer against Crysilakere. A full house is expected, so be sure to get your tickets early. Good night everybody.

Praying2God 2
Hawcoat 0

Goals:
Carter Larson (39th minute from Peterson)
Larson (52nd minute from King)

[code:1:5dd1a2e209]
GROUP 4 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Sqournshelous 2 2 0 0 8 0 +8 6
Tanah Burung 2 2 0 0 8 2 +6 6
Praying2God 2 2 0 0 4 1 +3 6
Rejistania 2 1 0 1 3 2 +1 3
Vilita 2 1 0 1 2 2 0 3
Crystilakere 2 1 0 1 3 5 -2 3
Iansisle 2 0 1 1 3 4 -1 1
Hawcoat 2 0 1 1 2 4 -2 1
Ineptia 2 0 0 2 0 4 -4 0
Danilotown 2 0 0 2 1 10 -9 0
[/code:1:5dd1a2e209]

The Lowland Clans

02-05-2004, 08:01

Graham City Sun - World Cup Qualifying Coverage

TLC Stars vs Liverpool England

Starting Line Up
[code:1:807ce4c421]
---------Asten-----McKeehan-----Blackwing-----Jeremy---------

--------------Julios---------Illius---------Devon-------------

----------West--------------McGraff-----------Oster---------[/code:1:807ce4c421]

GRAHAM CITY - Today was a rematch of epic proportions, and it certainly fulfilled it's billing. Today, the Stars again played the squad from Liverpool England, their qualifying foes from long ago. The only team to which they lost that qualifying. But now, it looks as if things are going to change...

It was a beautiful day in Graham City, and the blue and white were flying all over the city. The crowd numbered at 114,561 thousand as many people brought ear plugs to protect themselves from the massive cheering of the Stars fans. the game got under way, and the defensive strategy that has been the focus of Jeff McKays' off season kicked in. Liverpool England was unable to get it close to the goal a handful of times in the first half, the Clans offense didn't laid back and play it easy this game.

The pressure came quick and fast when a Matt Devon header just barely missed the far post after a beautiful corner from Asten. The pressure continued as the LE keeper showed his brilliance as he kept the roaring lion of the Stars offense at bay. But he couldn't do it forever. Pavel Julios tossed it towards the box on an offensive push, and the keeper lost sight of the ball in the scramble. Matt Devon energed from the scrapheap and let off a quick pass to Mark Jeremy, who put it past the keeper who was too slow to react to the speed of Devon's pass. That put it at one nothing in the thrity ninth minute.

The pressure continued through the second half, and in the 57th minutes, Kellen Asten charged down the left wing before laying a lofty cross just over the out reached hand of the keeper. Quentin McKeehan, jumped up and deflected the ball slightly with his header, which went in off the post.

In group play today, Mattigool was again upset by newcomers Anitram, whiel Winged Animals, Runaway Moose, New Kingman and NASTIC 2 all tied their games at three all. Republican Army also beat Turnia in another offensive brawl.

TLC Stars 2 - 0 Liverpool England
Jeremy (39th, Devon Assist)
McKeehan (57th, Asten Assist)

Tadjikistan

02-05-2004, 08:21

http://www.internews.tj/russian/images/newlogo1.gif

Second game, second win

Dushanbe - Tadjikistan has got a long way to go if they want to qualify for this World Cup, but are doing good so far. In their second match they won in Aerigia. Tadjikistan went to Aerigia with the idea of winning, but they new they wouldnt get it on a silver platter. The Aerigians with the support of their fans, fought hard to keep the Tadjik attackers away and it worked well until Suvorov broke through the defensive line in the 29th minute and scored. Suvorov, one of Coach Yakirs new players, thus made a good debute in the national team.

During the second half of the game, the Aerigians attacked the Tadjik goal. They bumped into the Tadjik defense 4 times, but failed to get passed it. Finally they got their chance when Demianenko made a tackle and hit an Aerigian player in the leg. Demianenko got a yellow card, the Aerigians a penalty. The penalty, shot into the left corner, was stopped by Yashins fists but an Aerigian player picked up the ball and scored in the rebound.

Coach Yakir then decided to put a couple new players on,Zakhvatyev and Rokossovskij for Suvorov and Chrystiakov. The Aerigians who had their first point, tried to defend that point for the rest of the match. So Yakir decided put everything on the offense. A good idea, as Cherniakhovskij scored in the 82th minute from a corner and Tadjikistan was leading again

In the 88th minute, Luchinsky broke trhough on the left flank and passed to Cherniakhovskij, who kicked the ball over the Aerigian goalkeeper as he was coming out of his goal. Even with 1-3 was on the scoreboard the tadjiks made a last attempt at another goal but they got stuck in the Aerigian defense.

Our next match will be played in Dushanbe, at the Buranbay Stade, wjhere we will be coming up against Keyshone, a new team in the World Cup. The team should be able to win this match fairly easely, but then sometimes, some teams suprise you.

This is our group again (given my calculations are right)
[code:1:025550d0bc]
GROUP 6 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Tadjikistan 2 2 0 0 5 2 +3 6
Dennisov 2 2 0 0 5 3 +2 6
Bedistan 2 2 0 0 4 2 +2 6
Belmorian Scandinavia 2 2 0 0 3 1 +2 6
Kerla 2 1 0 1 4 2 +2 3
Intelligent Madness 2 1 0 1 3 3 0 3
Keyshona 2 0 0 2 2 4 -2 0
Vollmeria 2 0 0 2 2 4 -2 0
Aerigia 2 0 0 2 2 5 -3 0
Bobbystan 2 0 0 2 1 5 -4 0
[/code:1:025550d0bc]

And offcourse my matches(these are correct)
M1: Tadjikistan - Intelligent Madness W 2-1
M2: Aerigia - Tadjikistan W 1-3
M3: Tadjikistan - Keyshona
M4: Bobbystan - Tadjikistan
M5: Tadjikistan - Bedistan
M6: Kerla - Tadjikistan
M7: Tadjikistan - Dennisov
M8: Belmorian Scandinavia - Tadjikistan
M9: Tadjikistan - Vollmeria
M10: Intelligent Madness - Tadjikistan
M11: Tadjikistan - Aerigia
M12: Keyshona - Tadjikistan
M13: Tadjikistan - Bobbystan
M14: Bedistan - Tadjikistan
M15: Tadjikistan - Kerla
M16: Dennisov - Tadjikistan
M17: Tadjikistan - Belmorian Scandinavia
M18: Vollmeria - Tadjikistan

Liverpool England

02-05-2004, 10:32

Liverpool England World Cup Update - MD2

[code:1:23702fa2aa]GROUP 7
Turna 2 - 3 The Republican Army
Winged Animals 3 - 3 Runaway Moose
New Kingman 3 - 3 NASTIC 2
Anitram 1 - 0 Mattigool
The Lowland Clans 2 - 0 Liverpool England

The Lowland Clans 2:0 Liverpool England
-Jeremy 39
-McKeehan 57[/code:1:23702fa2aa]

Decaltré Jomans in Graham City, The Lowland Clans

Ah, how fortunes can so quickly change. Fresh off a 3-0 win over Anitram in the first match at home, Liverpool England travelled here, to Graham City in The Lowland Clans, to face their old qualifying foes from WC12Q.

However, this is no longer WC12Q. This is WC14Q, nearly seven years later. And The Lowland Clans have some unsettled business from seven years ago to finish.

In a relatively Lowland Clans-dominated match, Liverpool England showed no skill or poise whatsoever, and went down to a goal six minutes before the break, with Matt Devon slicing the ball past the hapless Mark Hearne Jr. Mark Jeremy tapped the ball in from two yards.

The same thing happened in the second half. Kellen Asten set up Quentin McKeehan with a wicked cross with Hearne Jr failed to deal with and McKeehan's header found the net via the post.

FULL TIME
The Lowland Clans 2 0 Liverpool England

Spaam

02-05-2004, 11:03

SPAAM SPORTS DAILY

And the sexiest football team ever is....

Spaam Settles The Score Once And For All

It is now official. Spaam is better than the Belmore Family.

The match was one of the most exciting in football history, and also one of
the strangest. Only 10 minutes into the game, Nala Eromleb went to
tackle Alan Belmore for the ball, and as soon they touched, their was a
large explosion, and both players vanished. The game was stopped for 5
minutes, but there was no sign of Belmore or Eromleb, and so both
coaches sent replacements on, and the game was restarted. After that
players on both sides were afraid to tackle the other team, making the
game into a festival of passing skills. The keepers for both teams were
pushed to the limit, as high powered shots came from all parts of the field.

However, the score board remained empty until the second half, when the
Spaamanians managed to position their top striker Meren Lûin in the
clear, who then sent the ball flying straight into the upper right corner of '
the goal. The crowd erupted as Spaam hit the lead in the one of the msot
important games in Spaam's history. The game only got tougher after
that, as players from both sides started tackling again, but as hard as the
defense of both sides was pushed, neither gave anything more away. The
game finally finished after 92 minutes of brutal and incredible football,
with Spaam defeating the Belmore Family 1-0.

Spaam 1
(Lûin 46)
The Belmore Family 0

Eromleb Found In TnUI, Accepts Trophy

Nala Eromleb was found lying naked in the nation Total n Utter Insanity
after the match, and was revived in time to fly back over to Spaam to
accept the Steve Riberio Trophy for Sexiest Football Team Ever.
Scientists are still baffled as to what exactly happened on the pitch and
how Eromleb managed to get to the other side of the world. Alan Belmore
is still missing, but will prolly turn up eventually. Noone really cares.

Review And Preview

A 4-1 away win to Dance 2 Revolution against Dadostan have given the
popular team a share of the lead with Spaam. This makes the next game
even more important, as Spaam will be travelling to Dance 2 Revolution in
what will undoubtedly decide the top two spots in the group. Tingitana has
suprised critics with surprise 2-1 win over Lovebug, to make them the
only other unbeaten team in the group. Carpet managed to tie with 78th
ranked Raptor Claw, to move both teams off the bottom of the group,
while there were no suprises as Alex The Tall took care of Elephant and
Castle, with another 4-1 away win. See the back page for the table.

The Back Page

[code:1:e4aeb385c5]GROUP 8 P W D L F A GD Points
Dance 2 Revolution 2 2 0 0 5 1 +4 6 WW
Spaam 2 2 0 0 4 0 +4 6 WW
Tingitana 2 2 0 0 4 2 +2 6 WW
Alex The Tall 2 1 0 1 5 3 +2 3 LW
Lovebug 2 1 0 1 4 3 +1 3 WL
The Belmore Family 2 1 0 1 3 2 +1 3 WL
Raptor Claw 2 0 1 1 2 4 -2 1 LD
Carpet 2 0 1 1 1 4 -3 1 LD
Elephant and Castle 2 0 0 2 1 5 -4 0 LL
Dadostan 2 0 0 2 2 7 -5 0 LL[/code:1:e4aeb385c5]

[code:1:e4aeb385c5]Spaam 3 Carpet 0
Spaam 1 The Belmore Family 0[/code:1:e4aeb385c5]

[code:1:e4aeb385c5]SPAAM P W D L F A GD Points
Total 2 2 0 0 4 0 +4 6
Home 2 2 0 0 4 0 +4 6
Away 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0[/code:1:e4aeb385c5]

[code:1:e4aeb385c5]No. Name P G Ave
[2] Meren Lûin 2 2 1.0
[1] Nala Eromleb 2 1 0.5
[3] Eman Olisade 2 1 0.5
------------------------------------
[11] Alátari Súrion 2 0 0.0[/code:1:e4aeb385c5]

[code:1:e4aeb385c5]Highlight on Alátari Súrion
---------------------------
Minutes without conceding a goal: 185
Most minutes without conceding: 185[/code:1:e4aeb385c5]

Iansisle

02-05-2004, 13:08

From Page 1D of the Ianapalis [i]Star-Tribune[/b] (following the news stoppage):

Off to a Roaring Stop
Ians pick up in WCXIV where they left off in WCXIII

Jamie C. Peters
Ians Correspondent

WESTERGATE, Iansisle -- The tobbacco smoke hung heavily in the air at Crossley and Winks, just two blocks down from the Westergate Footballing Grounds. A small crowd had assembled to listen to the game being played in Crystilakere. The radio broadcast was a novelty; in celebration of World Cup XIV, IanCorp pledged to broadcast for the first time games being played outside the Commonwealth.

"We anticipate this being a great year for Ians football," said IanCorp Wireless Services coordinator Steven Halders. "This will be our fifth shot at the Cupm and I don't want a single minute of it to be held back from the fans who have made the Ians what they are now."

His optomism may have taken a bit of a hit in the first match. In the what was the first game played in the Westergate Footballing Grounds since World Cup Twelve, when the fire inspector caught more than seven thousand too many people crammed into the stadium, the Ians were nothing short of mediocre.

Brian Lyon - a favorite of those rhymers among us - showed flashes of the potential he had showed while playing for Royal Standard University and Upper Mansford, scoring the Ians' first goal of qualification sixteen minutes in against Hawcoat.

The twenty eight thousand fans - and, the Underminister of Sports, Games, and Recreation insisted, not a single man more - at the Grounds cheered wildly, assuming that Iansisle would easily dispatch the Cup rookies. However, Hawcoat tied up the score not five minutes later. A counter-attack led by the venerable Alexander Truman ended up with a shot from Lyon's foot sailing harmlessly over the goal. The score remained tied one to one going into the second half.

The crowd had become more and more muted with every passing minute the score was tied. Their apathy must have transfered to the crowd - just six minutes after the half, Hawcoat score their second to go ahead. It was a wake up call for both the spectators and the players: the Ians quickly rallied, and midfielder Colton Rodney tied up the score just three minutes later.

The rest of the game passed in relative calm, as neither team was able to mount a succesful attack. The match ended tied 2-2, a major humuliation for the 36th ranked Ians.

But not quite so great a humuliation as the next game would bring, when the Ians visited 123rd ranked Crystilakere. Once again, the Ians were up early - Alexander Truman scored on a brilliant play assisted by Lyon.

A full eighteen minutes would pass after the goal before Crystilakere could even mount a succesful counter attack. But they then scored twice in a hundred and twenty seconds. The disaster was completed when, leading the counterattack, Alexander Truman twisted his ankle and was forced to the bench. Despite the best efforts of Lyon, Russel, and Ravenhill, Truman's replacement, the Ians usually potent offense remained punchless.

It is usually wrong to condemn a team just two games into qualifying, but the Ians have already shown that they have neither the staying not the will power to advance to the Cup. They haven't been tested against any of the many top teams in Group Four, and yet they remain winless with but a single point. Can the Ians pull it out?

Better reserve a place in the Cup of Harmony.

Eauz

02-05-2004, 13:24

Le LIBRE

Les Bleus Shutout

At home in Zuka, Les Bleus played their second match of the qualifying round against Europa Britannia. This match was expected to be a well played match on both sides, and it proved to be so.

Giving Yeuseuv a break from all the world cup play, Rousoi was put in place. The first half started off with great plays on both sides. Both teams came out fighting, and proved to be the equal of each other. During the 24th minute of play, Les Bleus put on an attack with Soiy taking the shot, only to be blocked by the EB defence. The EB defence would prove to be very strong throughout the match. The first half would end in a 0 – 0 tie.

At the end of the first half, a streakier got on the field entered the field, and ran around like a crazed man. Police didn’t have to do much, as he ran himself in to a pole, knocking him unconscious. People were laughing, and enjoying the fool.

The second half brought a stronger EB team out, as they put a lot of pressure on Les Bleus and their defence. Many shots were taken testing Les Bleus defence. Unfortunately, the defence was not strong enough during the 75th minute of play, on a corner kick, the ball got in possession of the EB attackers, being kicked into the open net. The goal sent a dagger into the hearts of Eauz fans, as they expected their #1 ranked team to win against EB this time. The match would finish at a 1 – 0 EB victory.

Coach’s comments: I was disappointed that we didn’t get the win against EB. I thought we played very well, and provided some great attacks against their side, but I guess it just didn’t develop into anything. One has to give credit to the EB team for the great effort. I do not believe though, that if I had left Yeuseuv in, that there would have been a change in the scoreboard. We played our best, and we just didn’t capitalize.

The next match for Les Bleus is against regional rival Brazillico who is becoming very hot, having won its first two matches of the qualifying round. These wins though, have come against weak or newbie teams which one would expect an experienced team to win anyways. Look for Les Bleus to put up a tough match, and possibly a victory.

More on the next match later…

[code:1:2a1f2d7506]
GROUP 10 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Brazillico 2 2 0 0 7 1 +6 6
Europa Britannia 2 2 0 0 5 0 +5 6
EL CID THE HERO 2 2 0 0 5 3 +2 6
Eauz 2 1 0 1 4 3 +1 3
Largent 2 1 0 1 4 4 0 3
The Confederate 2 1 0 1 4 4 0 3
Melmond 2 0 1 1 2 3 -1 1
Oceaice 2 0 1 1 2 4 -2 1
Lallania 2 0 0 2 1 7 -4 0
The Weegies 2 0 0 2 1 6 -5 0
[/code:1:2a1f2d7506]

Match Day 1: Oceaice @ Eauz W 4 - 2
Match Day 2: Europa Britannia vs Eauz L 1 - 0
Match Day 3: Eauz @ Brazillico
Match Day 4: The Weegies @ Eauz
Match Day 5: Eauz @ EL CID THE HERO
Match Day 6: Melmond @ Eauz
Match Day 7: Eauz @ Largent
Match Day 8: The Confederate @ Eauz
Match Day 9 : Eauz @ Lallania

Match Day 10: Eauz @ Oceaice
Match Day 11: Eauz @ Europa Britannia
Match Day 12: Brazillico @ Eauz
Match Day 13: Eauz @ The Weegies
Match Day 14: EL CID THE HERO @ Eauz
Match Day 15: Eauz @ Melmond
Match Day 16: Largent @ Eauz
Match Day 17: Eauz @ The Confederate
Match Day 18: Lallania @ Eauz

Kaze Progressa

02-05-2004, 13:25

A look ahead to the first match between the WC12 co-hosts in sixteen years with Progressa TeleSport:

Pet Shop Boys, West End Girls, plays. The first part of the instrumental introduction is accompanied by shots of various Lemmitanian stadia, including those designed by the Progressans for WC12. The last part is accompanied by lemmings entering the National Stadium in Lemco City, inside which is a series of props.

'Sometimes you're better off dead...' [A large number of lemmings jump off the stadium's flat roof, mistaking it for a cliff]
'...there's a gun in your hand, it's pointing at your head...' [One picks up a gun, one of said props]
'You think you're mad, too unstable...'[Lemmings fall over on the pitch]
'...kicking in chairs and knocking down tables...'[Exactly that happens.]
'...in a restaurant, in a West End town...'[Cut to Lemmitanian bar with more violent lemmings]
'...call the police, there's a madman around...'[Gil enters and plays with the lemmings]
'...running down, underground, to a dive bar, in a West End town......'[Lemmings dig tunnels under the road by the bar and the footage shows them as Lemmings in the game of that name]

Footage cuts.

Spaam

02-05-2004, 13:30

SPAAM SPORTS DAILY

Just a quick observation....

Top Five Posting World Cup Nations

The top 5 World Cup nations has been released by the Spaamanian Institute for Silly Statistics and Yoghurt (SISSY). The nations are:

1. Iansisle
2. Larkinia
3. Oglethorpia
4. Spaam
5. Squornshelous

Snub Nose 38

02-05-2004, 13:33

*****ASPN World Cup XIV Special Report*****

*as we walk through the living room we hear that horrid aspn sports theme music – inappropriate to anything sports related. we hate the music – but love the show – and that arm chair does look comfortable. as we sit, a sliver 3d world cup xiv logo, intertwined with a snub nose 38 logo 3d logo in platinum, spins on the screen. as this slowly becomes translucent, then transparent, we see the aspn sports desk through it. on the wall behind the desk is a snub nose 38 hooligans jersey, side by side with a tepalguanian jersey. behind the desk sits our intrepid reporter, preparing to report (intrepidly, of course). she is having a bad hair day.*

Good Evening, you rowdy hooligan fans! Today your Snub Nose 38 Hooligans, under the able management of Justin Case, played the second of eighteen “home and away” qualifiers for World Cup 14 – a registered their second win of the campaign. Two matches, two wins, 6 goals for, 2 against – could the glory days of Hooliganism have returned? Here at Asteroid Sports News we certainly hope so.

The Hooligans opponents today were Tepalguana, a side new to international football, with the match taking place in the Tepalguanistani…um, Tepalguanican…er, Tepalguanerian…the Hooligans played an away match.

These Tepalguano’s can play football! They actually dominated the first half, with 63% of possession and nine shots goal and on goal scored to the Hooligans four shots on goal and no goals scored.

*cut to the scene on the pitch during the first half, where we see Tepalguana dominating play. well, what did you expect? didn’t we just tell you they dominated the first half?*

The Hooligans did have one excellent chance snatched away at the last second by an amazing save by a Tepalguanish…Tepalguani…Tepalquanician…an opposing defender.

*hooligan midfielder waldo takes a cross field pass from his mate emmerson, and one-times it over the defense to bentley, whose run between the defense down the center of the pitch is perfectly timed to avoid off sides and intercept the flight of the ball just inside the 18. a quick feint left fools the keeper, and bentley fires a shot that curls into the far upper corner – but hits just too much woodwork and bounces out. clarence, running in on the left, fields the rebound, and with the keeper is directly in his path, slips the ball across the box to mallou on the right – who, as he runs onto the ball, fires a shot directly on goal. which is blocked off the line by a tepalguanian defender’s diving header. a second tepalguanian defender clears the ball past midfield, and the danger is over.*

During half time the famous Hooligan Cheerleaders…cheered?

*we see the hooligan cheerleaders, in their now familiar kevlar outfits, jauntily take the field. they form up, and begin the “entertainment”. as they do, fans in both sides colors make their way as close to the cheerleaders as security will allow.*

“The Hooligans have come here to Tepalguana
to play a game of football the way they wanna!
And what the Holligans are gonna do
is make Tepalguanian mush outta you!
YAH, HOOLIGANS! Hip! Hoorah!

Hooligans, Hooligans, who’ll again take up
where they left off tryin’ to win the Cup!
Right here and now they’re gonna play
a drum tattoo on your head today!
What kind o’ guano is Tepid Guano?”

At this point – well, we’ve all seen this before. it’s kind of ugly, we suggest you send the kiddies out of the room until it’s over.

(the broadcast pauses, giving us a chance to send the kiddies out to play)

As I was saying, at this point the fans, both Hooligan and Tepalguanian…ish…istani…an…ican - as well as them – began the traditional “Pelting ‘O The Hooligans”, with rotten vegetation of all sorts and sizes – and rather a lot of other…well, watch for yourselves.

*rotten squash. over-ripe tomatoes. brown, mushy, celery. soft potatoes. a small pumpkin. a large pumpkin. an extremely large pumpkin, taking three fans to make the “toss”. there goes a type-writer. followed by a hamper, two picnic baskets, a beagle, and the obligatory goat. as a couple of very bulky looking guys struggle to get in position with what looks to be a safe of some kind, tepalguanian security moves in, arresting and whisking away the hooligan cheerleaders. ah, tradition!*

In the second half Tepalguana was out-matched by Justin Case’s Hooligans. The Hooligans seemed a bit better prepared for the physical punishment of 90 minutes of international football. In the 67th minute Mallou scored the equalizer, off a nicely placed corner from Bentley.

*mallou scores the equalizer, off a nicely placed corner from bentley. these little film clips are kind of, what shall we say…redundant? repetitive? anti-climatic? boring?*

Tepalguana fought back, nearly scoring in the 83rd minute.

*tepalguana fights back, nearly…etc, etc.*

And in the 3rd minute of 3 minutes of added time…

*a corner by mallou sails in from the right and over almost every player in the box. at the far post clarence rises and heads the ball nicely down and towards goal. the keeper slaps it away at the last moment…only to have bentley smartly left-foot the rebound into the net from barely three yards out.*

And that was the match. Which, by the by, put your Hooligans in first place in Group 3.

Final score TEPALGUANA 1 – SNUB NOSE 38 2.

*as the camera pans away from the sports desk, just before the credits, the group 3 matchday 2 results, and the resulting table, roll across the screen*

GROUP 3 Matchday 2 Results
Airenguo 1 - 4 Pablicosta
The Evil Umpire 3 - 2 The Redavic Union
Holy India 2 - 2 NEWI Cefn Druids
Tepalguana 1 - 2 Snub Nose 38
Halfassedstates 0 - 1 Ravenspire

[code:1:349c4a7dc1]GROUP 3 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Snub Nose 38 2 2 0 0 6 2 4 6 roster, pg 3
NEWI Cefn Druids 2 1 1 0 6 2 4 4 roster, pg 1
Ravenspire 2 1 1 0 3 2 1 4
Pablicosta 2 1 0 1 5 3 2 3
Halfassedstates 2 1 0 1 2 1 1 3 roster, pg 2
The Redavic Union 2 1 0 1 4 4 0 3
The Evil Umpire 2 1 0 1 3 6 -3 3 roster, pg 1
Tepalguana 2 0 1 1 2 3 -1 1
Holy lndia 2 0 1 1 3 6 -3 1
Airenguo 2 0 0 2 1 6 -5 0[/code:1:349c4a7dc1]

*****This has been an ASPN World Cup XIV Special Report*****

ooc 1: final goal of the match "borrowed" from eddie pope, usa national side, in a friendly vs mexico in dallas texas this past wednesday. it did occur in the 3rd minute of 3 minutes added time (about 2:57).
ooc 2: "bentley" is the nickname i use for rm. "clarence", "mallou", and "j.w." are nicknames for her brothers. (well...i care... :wink: )

Snub Nose 38

02-05-2004, 13:38

ooc: just now, i was logged in as "casablanka".

which is extremely interesting - i am not casablanka.

i dunno...

(ps - spaam, does this put me in the top 5?) :roll:

ic:
Important Health Announcement

The Minister of Health, Mining, and Obscure Rituals reminded us today that "Yoghurt" (however one chooses to spell it) within the borders of the Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38 has been declared a hazardous dairy by-product and classified as a non-food substance. He also reminds ust that it rather looks like it has already been digested at least once. The Mininster therefore announced that it has become necessary to ban all news reports, statements, leaflets, pamphlets - in fact, any kind of "-let", emminating from the Spaamanian SILLY Institute.

Remember - possession of Yogurt is punishable by being placed in a 6,000 gallon vat of it for a minimum of 7 days.

Spaam

02-05-2004, 13:43

OOC: Not even close.... you need at least 3500 posts :P

Bedistan

02-05-2004, 15:09

The Bedistan Sports Digest

A Good Omen
Gordon Davis in Midway for Bedistan 2 - 1 Kerla

Some critics were skeptical about the ability of this year's incarnation of the Bedistan Lions after defeating newcomers Vollmeria only 2-1 in the opening match of World Cup XIV qualifiers. Though the formidable forward duo of Neighbors and Vu still seemed to be able to get things done, it seemed that Terry Delk was still a little shaky in his new role as starting goalkeeper after the retirement of Tabitha Fukushima. The narrow victory did not bode well, as the next two matches would be the most difficult of the first leg and the team would need to step up.

The largest crowd since the Bedistan-Dennisov WC13 qualifying match appeared today at James Parker National Stadium -- over 119,000 in all. Fan interest in the Lions has resurged quite a bit over the last two years, and having another top-20 team come to town in the form of Kerla brought the blue and silver out in full force. The action started early, with a Kerlan strike going just over the bar in the 4th minute. Delk was forced into a spectacular save just five minutes later as a result of a Kerla free kick. After these two scares, though, the pace of the game slowed. Bedistan was content to let Kerla hold the ball, and the visitors managed 58 percent possession in the first half despite the 0-0 scoreline.

The second half started off just as poorly for the Lions as the first, if not more so. Kurt Brew foolishly executed a two-footed tackle on a Kerla striker almost right out of the gate and was promptly shown the yellow. Unfortunately for him, he had already received a yellow earlier in the match, and so he was forced to leave the pitch. Kerla again took a free kick, and this time Delk wasn't even close to deflecting it, putting the visitors up 0-1.

With a weakened defense, the Lions could no longer afford to have Kerla hold the ball, and they shifted into a slightly more attacking posture. This effort paid off when Gil Vu scored the equalizer and his second goal of qualifying from fifteen yards in the 68th minute. The home side finally had the momentum, and they proved unstoppable for the rest of the match, bringing it home with a Karen Neighbors goal twelve minutes before full time.

After that match, it became apparent that 2-1 is seemingly the official score of Terranordalis World Cup 14 qualifying matches. Bedistan, of course, has won both matches by a 2-1 margin so far, and strangely enough so has Tingitana in Group 8, securing their second with an upset over Lovebug today. Both Bedistan and Tingitana are in third place in their respective groups with six points, a +2 goal differential, four goals scored, and two goals against. Group 6 is led by the surprising Tadjikistan and the always-strong Dennisov, while Dance 2 Revolution and Spaam top Group 8.

After a tough home match today, it doesn't get much better for Bedistan as they travel to #27 Dennisov (2-0-0) yet again tomorrow. Tingitana also leaves the region to play #78 Raptor Claw (0-1-1).

Brazillico

02-05-2004, 15:25

(A half IC/OOC Post, if you’re gonna RP against my nation, you might want to take a look at the player profiles at the bottom.

A little lesson in style…

Brazillico have always played some form of a 4-4-2, be it the original 4-2-2-2, the 4-1-2-1-1-1 Lawn Dart or the new 4-1-2-1-2 truncated Lawn Dart.

Ye Olde Brazillico

Compared to other sides, Brazillico was an extremely conservative team, usually looking for an early goal and then trying to ride it out until the end. They did this by effectively making their two defensive midfielders drop back and play defense, allowing them to have six defenders in principle when they had a lead. The result was Brazillico usually got a lot of 1-0s, 1-1s 2-1s and 2-0s, usually swaying in the Chili Bats’ favour (A defensive team was the best way to explain all these low scores, particularly when you’re almost always winning them).

That being said, the back four during Brazillico’s classical age have to be considered as one of the greatest of all time (Wish I had their names, can’t find the disk). From the rock-solid Sequoia to the eccentric Gulia, these guys are all legends in Brazillico. During that time, Brazillico won with defense.

That goes to say that they weren’t completely incompetent at the other positions. Esteban de Jesus is widely considered one of the best midfielders to ever play the game, making Giant Zucchini’s “All World Cup Team” and Alex Hernandez and Craig McGarnicle were very effective forwards. But this was a team who won as a team. Contributions from everyone were necessary as you could often find five players with multiple goals during a World Cup run. There were no Belmores, Dussises, Urks or Andrew Zurichs on this side, everybody had to chip in for Brazillico to make an impact.

The new, drastically unimproved, Brazillico

Brazillico have tried pretty much every style change and substitution to try to make it back to the World Cup, but all of these attempts have failed to date. Dr. Cosmo’s 4-1-2-1-1-1 Lawn Dart flopped on the offensive side, as the Cannon twins are better wingers than strikers. Thus, the birth of the new 4-1-2-1-2 truncated lawn dart with safety tip to assure nobody gets hurt (anything less than four players on the back line would be considered blasphemy in Brazillico, completely contredicing the “They can’t win if they don’t score on us” philosophy). Basically, Brazillico still plays a very conservative game and like to try to score while in transition and catch the opposing defense by surprise. Usually they try to play it long to Junior Socrates, Alex Cannon or Sandro Cannon and let the three work their magic between them. They like to draw fouls and corners, so they can bring some of their big bodies up to try to work something on a set play. Brazillico are very sharp on set plays and the vast majority of their goals come from them or the aforementioned rushes.

Here’s a brief look at how each of the Brazillican starters like to play.

Johnny Damon is the starting left-back for the Brazillico Chili Bats. Damon is a very raw player, matching together good speed, size, strength and tackling ability. Damon’s downfall comes in his lack of football sense, as in, he has a hard time seeing plays develop. Very hard to beat one on one on the left flank, though easily confusable on set plays. The key to beating Damon is by getting the most options possible into the offensive end.

Todd Pink could be considered the opposite of Damon, as he is an extremely smart player. Originally the 4-1-2-1-1-1 in the Lawn Dart, he’s dropped back to his original position of center back for this World Cup. Another big guy at 6’5”, 205lbs, Pink is worth his weight in gold on set plays, clearing out aerial balls from the box with ease with his comically oversized, distinctly Oglethorpian head. It’s hard to fault with Todd Pink, he’s the kinda guy who’s jack of all trades, bar his sensational heading ability.

Paul Hilario is a huge fan favorite and a huge guy standing 6’7” and weighing in at 230lbs. Hilario’s strength lies in his size, as he is a very imposing figure in the box and a very stiff tackler, although those tackles sometimes translate into cards. Hilario is surprisingly mobile for his size and has football smarts you wouldn’t suspect from a man of his carriage. Hilario is world class, and at 29, he should be a focal point of future Brazillican defenses for years to come.

Rollie Cannon is a 6’2”, 195lbs, right back who really knows his position. A third time starter dripping with defensive awareness, Rollie Cannon is one of the hottest commodities in Brazillican football today. Rollie is known for his blistering speed, superb tackling and ability to neutralize attackers on the right side. People used to criticize Rollie’s willingness to throw himself into reckless tackles, but he’s toned that down over the last little bit and his overall game has really improved over the last little bit. Arguably the best Cannon kid at his position and possibly the only present defender who would have been able to crack Brazillico’s old back-four, Rollie Cannon is for real.

Tom Maracana is slowly emerging into one of the elite workhorse midfielders in the LEAF league. Maracana matches great size with superb conditioning, allowing him to be a force defensively as well as a great asset in launching the push upfield. Maracana’s passing and playmaking skills are what you’d like to see from a midfielder, but he’s not in there for offence. As with Todd Pink, Maracana has a great header in his arsenal and has scored a few goals over the past years by unleashing it on set plays.

Filipo Cannon has been the most disappointing Cannon kid in his development up until recently, when the fastidious Joao decided to quit pro football to try to make it on Broadway. But don’t be fooled, Filipo Cannon remains a very solid football player. A tireless worker on the field who is emerging to be quite a tackler, Filipo Cannon can play at a high level for 90+ minutes. However, Filipo hasn’t developed into the offensive dynamo many had hoped for and will be likely branded an underachiever for the rest of his career.

Tobias Cannon. When you hear his name think of one thing should come to mind; huge shot. The shrimpy Cannon can get all of his 150 pounds into his shot, producing an extremely hard blast towards the keeper. Tobias’ strength lies in his ability to put English on the ball and to deliver it on net with tremendous accuracy. In addition, Tobias is extremely good on set plays and corner kicks, as he is also a talented passer and his lack of size renders him pretty much useless anywhere else on the pitch in such situations.

Junior Socrates has to be regarded as one of the elite ball-moving midfielders in the World. The man who made Real Libertad’s offence click back when they had fire hydrants for attackers will be looking to provide those same defecatingly creative and accurate passes to the Cannon twins. What makes Junior Socrates such an excellent offensive midfielder is his good shot and decent header, also making him a goal-scoring threat. However, the knock on Junior Socrates has been his hustle (or lack thereof) and his lack of zeal when it comes to playing defense. Nonetheless, when this guy stays up front, he’s one of the best.

Alex Cannon has been argued to being the greatest Brazillican attacker in history. A speedy winger with silky smooth dribbling skills and a hard, accurate shot, Cannon is a versatile goal scorer. He also shows great creativity when playing with his brother Sandro, although he’s been accused of being a bit selfish when he’s not on the pitch. Also, a lot of people don’t like Cannon for his lack of size, at 5’9”, 160lbs, he won’t outmuscle any defenders. However, Alex Cannon’s offensive instincts are off the charts and if you give this guy space, he’ll give you goals.

Sandro Cannon is very similar in style of play to Alex Cannon, although he isn’t quite as gifted a finisher. Sandro does make up for this in being a better playmaker than his twin brother. The two are lethal together, as they’ve been playing on the same team since they’ve been three, and their unparalleled chemistry is something very hard to defend against. Sandro’s size is also the biggest concern with him, although five pounds heavier than his brother, it doesn’t help him much in a clogged box. Not that it’s that big a deal, as he uses ability to run or pass around defenders very effectively.

Cannon Seven Ranking Report
1. Rollie Cannon Superb defender, a good World Cup may put him up there with the World’s best.
2. Alex Cannon Very, very, highly skilled attacker. With Rollie’s size, he’d probably be no.1 on the list.
3, Sandro Cannon Another extremely skilled attacker. He’d arguably cope better than Alex if ever the situation arose to separate the two.
4. Lisa Cannon Has shown excellent signs of progress since leaving San Diego Iguanas. Possibly one of the Top 20 Goalkeepers in the World.
5. Tobias Cannon Will make a career out of his ability to be a whiz on set plays and his wicked shot. Has obvious holes in his game in other areas.
6. Filipo Cannon Solid all-around player who never gives up on a play. His heart makes him attractive to a lot of clubs. Could move up on virtue that he might have the longest career of everyone on the list.
7. Joao Cannon Promising defender who quit football because he wanted to sing in musicals. His performance in Cats has been described as “nothing spectacular”.

Squornshelous

02-05-2004, 15:37

Squornshelous Starts Off WC14 Strongly
Playing in their unique 1-1-2-1-2-3 formation. The Squornshelous Pschychoes have wreaked havoc in their qualifying group so far, recording the biggest win in Squornshelan history: 6-0 over Danilotown, and a possibly group deciding 2-0 victory over Rejistania. Coach Greg Newsome said his players were responding well to having to prove themselves again. "We didn't do so well last cup, and we didn't get much respect from pre-cup predictions and ratings, and the players have really been energized by that. For the first time since our debut, we've had a chance to exceed expectations."

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Jackson: 3
Jones: 2
Richards: 2
Stikolsmur: 1

Group 4 Standings after Matchday 2
[code:1:d4bb890c8d]
GROUP 4 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Sqournshelous 2 2 0 0 8 0 +8 6
Tanah Burung 2 2 0 0 8 2 +6 6
Praying2God 2 2 0 0 4 1 +3 6
Rejistania 2 1 0 1 3 2 +1 3
Vilita 2 1 0 1 2 2 0 3
Crystilakere 2 1 0 1 3 5 -2 3
Iansisle 2 0 1 1 3 4 -2 1
Hawcoat 2 0 1 1 2 4 -2 1
Ineptia 2 0 0 2 0 4 -4 0
Danilotown 2 0 0 2 1 10 -9 0
[/code:1:d4bb890c8d]

MD3 Preview:
Matchday three will be Ineptia at home. This should be a fairly easy game, with Ineptia being unranked and the Pschychoes playing the way the are. However, they will have to take care not to become complacent during this game, as they'll need to keep their momentum going strong to get through this "Group of Death" (crap! I always seem to draw the group of death, this is my 3rd time being in it in Qyalifying and I'v been in it twice in the 1st round)

Kaze Progressa

02-05-2004, 17:01

From the Kangaroo:

PROGRESSANS GALLOP PAST THROUGHBREDS; LEMMINGS NEXT

Kaze Progressa showed animal instincts in Thoroughbreds as they took a 2-1 win at The Racetrack thanks to some sharp finishing in the first half that largely killed off the match, won far easier than 2-1 suggests.

The Progressans took the lead on eight minutes; a low ball into the penalty area from Taunilai took a deflection off the hoof of a Thoroughbreds defender, but fell to Lubbarez who drove a shot between the legs of said defender and in off the far post.

The Thoroughbreds' equine nature meant that they won most of the physical battles, but couldn't control their enthusiasm mostly due to not having jockeys (as this would be considered by WCC legislation as having 22 players on the pitch for one team). This came to a head on 29 minutes, when one of the horses kicked Lubbarez in the groin with his hind legs. A red card was a result, and Lubbarez was replaced by Batia Bolidae-Baek and taken away for treatment.

Bolidae-Baek hit the bar with his subsequent free-kick, but doubled the lead on 35 minutes after a long ball aimed at Weseydal came off the hindquarters of one of the defenders and into the path of Bolidae-Baek instead. Despite the ball falling awkwardly, he still volleyed home from 25 yards past the goalkeeper, who was completely out of position as he was galloping to cover the near post.

Thoroughbreds scored an injury-time consolation when an attacking horse galloped past two defenders with the ball in his mouth before hurdling goalkeeper Esitra Ritahau and dropping the ball in the net for perhaps the World Cup's strangest ever goal - but it was too late.

Jeruselem

02-05-2004, 17:23

Jeruselem Government News

WC Rookies get a lesson

Jeruselem and Nanakaland maybe diplomatic allies, but all that was left behind on the football pitch. Jeruselem decked Nanakaland 3-1 in their second game in WC XIV. While Nanakaland managed a goal, they were robbed of possession and their leaky inexperienced defense could not halt the Jeruselem attack from making inroads. Three goals in ten minutes effective ended Nanakaland's threat to the Crusaders who still looked a little rusty from their break.

GROUP 9
The mighty spurs 1 - 2 Wella
Nanakaland 1 - 3 Jeruselem
Clearwater 0 - 1 Aquilla
Shang-Ti 2 - 3 One Red Dot
Gesamtkuntswerk 1 - 0 Giant Zucchini

Melmond

02-05-2004, 18:17

Excitement and Embarrassment
Uneven Melmond and Oceaice Sides Conclude With a 1-1 Draw
By Jim Dwordorf of the Aldi Tribune

OCEAICE—Melmond entered the quaint Oceaice National Stadium with a chip on their shoulder. Feeling robbed of a key point in the match against EL CID THE HERO, they wanted to take out their frustrations out on new side Oceaice. Most experts expected this match to be a cakewalk for the Fearless Farmers, but as the fans find out, Oceaice’s offence is a force to be reckoned with and today Melmond’s offences was probably too busy seeing red to aim their shots.
Oceaice National Stadium, nestled near the piranha-infested beaches and the rain forest, was certainly a beautiful, brand spanking new venue. The day was just as beautiful. It was a little on the hot side, but there was not a cloud in the sky. The crowd was just as excited as it felt big things would come from their Oceaice side, after scoring two goals against defending champion Eauz on the road.
It was rather evident that the Melmond defence was very surprised to find that the Oceaice attack was fast and furious. The speedy Oceaice side stayed true to the lightning bolt on their flag. The offence kept the attack coming and coming in the first half. After some spectacular saves by Snhp Xtfuinxm, the Melmond defence finally got it together and provided for the fans some exciting moments. The Oceaice offence maintained its fast and furious style, trying to catch the Melmond defence off guard with their sudden paces and bursts of speed. However, those attempts were quickly quashed by the Melmond defence, as Jonsi Torrini skillfully deflected whatever shots Oceaice made, Nina Steen having the awareness to steal a clever Oceaice pass, or Scott Cheney making the perfect tackle to halt the Oceaice momentum.
On the other side of the field, it was a different story. Both the Melmond attack and the Oceaice defence looked rather inept. Melmond had many easy chances to get past the Oceaice keeper. However, the shots were way off as they sailed wide left, wide right, over the bar, and possibly hit every corner of the woodwork. Melmond crosses and passes were also errant as the ball sailed out of bounds most of the time. The first half ended scoreless as the fans relax from the amazing play in one half of the field and the horrid play in the other.
The second half began with another fast and furious Oceaice attack. Midfielder Aurelien Chedjou finds Stephane Millereau who then quickly finds a streaking Vincent Di Bartolomeo. Di Bartolomeo looked as if he was going to make a quick strike himself and Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm was all over it. All of a sudden he finds a streaking Julien Labat who was able to tap the ball passed the Melmond goalkeeper. Oceaice takes the lead from a Julien Labat goal at the 47th minute which stunned the overconfident Melmond side.
After the Oceaice goal, the Melmond defence played with a sense of urgency, and easily snuffed out any Oceaice attack plan. The burden was squarely on the slumping offence. However, the offence was still slumping. A key corner kick was blown when Jonsi Torrini kicked the ball out of bounds. An open shot at the goal was missed by Benjamin Leeb as he sailed it over the bar. Dribbling errors were made by Camui Arai as he ran so fast that he forgot to bring the ball with him.
Melmond would make their equaliser on a fluke play. Midfielder Martin Goodwin was making a prayer of a shot well outside of the goalkeeper’s box. Oceaice defender Laurent Bedani stuck his foot up in the air to try to deflect the shot. The deflection was so aimless that it directed the path of the ball in a way where Oceaice goalkeeper Remy Darchis had absolutely no chance of stopping it getting into the net. The Oceaice crowd was very much dejected as they felt they were going to get their first win against a respectable side. Melmond gets the equaliser from the Bedani own goal at the 72nd minute as the Melmond players smile and shrug as the get ready for the free kick.
The great play by the Oceaice offence and Melmond defence and the pitiful play of the Melmond offence and the Oceaice defence continued until the final whistle. The game ends in a 1-1 tie. Both sides leave the pitch feeling rather disappointed. The Oceaice side felt that they should have won that match as victory was within their grasp. Melmond feeling very dejected after feeling that they should have inhaled that cupcake. Instead they get a bran muffin, a single point. Perhaps some fiber will help them as they return home.
Melmond midfielder Camui Arai, noted as one of the fastest players in the world, said of the Oceaice offence, “Even I was caught by surprise at first, that team has speed, and they will be giving opposing defences fits in the future.” Manager Felix Coostatlwak admits to some attitude problems, “We were rather arrogant coming in, thinking we were going to wipe the floor with them, we were lucky to escape with a tie with the way we played.” Largent is coming up, and as crazy as this World Cup Qualifying has been so far, Melmond better get its act together.

Goals
Labat, OCE 47th
Bedani, MEL (OG) 72nd

Cards
None

Standings

Other Group 10 Results
Largent 2 – EL CID THE HERO 3
The Confederate 4 – The Weegies 0
Lallania 1 – Brazillico 3
Eauz 0 – Europa Brittania 1

[code:1:9fb8b415db]Group 10
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Brazillico 6 2 0 0 7:1 6
2. Europa Brittania 6 2 0 0 5:0 5
3. EL CID THE HERO 6 2 0 0 5:3 2
4. Eauz 3 1 0 1 4:3 1
5. The Confederate 3 1 0 1 4:4 0
6. Largent 3 1 0 1 4:4 0
7. Melmond 1 0 1 1 2:3 -1
8. Oceaice 1 0 1 1 3:5 -2
9. The Weegies 0 0 0 2 1:6 -5
10. Lallania 0 0 0 2 1:7 -6[/code:1:9fb8b415db]

Melmond Team Stats
Goals: Benjamin Leeb (1)
Cards: Scott Cheney (1)

The Melmond National Team Schedule

@ EL CID THE HERO L 2-1
@ Oceaice T 1-1
v Largent (Microcosm Stadium, Aldi)
@ The Confederate
v Lallania (Xpress Counsel Field, Cali)
@ Eauz
v Europa Brittania (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne)
@ Brazillico
v The Weegies (Frankndottir Stadium, Acosta)
v EL CID THE HERO (Woocat Books Ballpark, O’Connor)
v Oceaice (Lifedonations Stadium, Morales)
@ Largent
v The Confederate (MPNK Stadium, Faasen)
@ Lallania
v Eauz (White Bread Dome, Suburbia)
@ Europa Brittania
v Brazillico (Melmond Bowl, Melmond City)
@ The Weegies

Next Game
vs. Largent (Microcosm Stadium, Aldi)

Right before the first matches happened in this World Cup 14 Qualifying, most pundits and possibly every Melmondian would believe that this is a sure win for the Fearless Farmers. However, things have been rather wacky so far. Melmond keeps on getting the short or the medium end of close calls with EL CID THE HERO and Oceaice. Largent played some close matches, upsetting the Weegies on the road 2-1. Of course it seems that every mediocre team is taking their shots at The Weegies as The Confederate beat them 4-nil. The Weegies may be one Melmond’s closest competitors for qualifying, but they don’t deserve this! Melmond needs a win to feel some sort of accomplishment in this one. Manager Felix Coostatlwak makes one change, replacing Benjamin Leeb with Chris Owen. Chris Owen is a hometown kid who plays for Aldi Reds. We will se if his air power helps the Fearless Farmers become victorious.

GK- Snhp Xtfuinxm
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Scott Cheney
D- Nina Steen
M- Martin Goodwin
M- Critandi Unne
M- Camui Arai
M- Cristina Antunez
F- Mornakh the Bloody Handed
F- Chris Owen

Microcosm Stadium
Location: Aldi, Melmond
Seats: 65,000 (Open Air)
Aldi is the second largest city in Melmond and is on the coast of the Aldi Sea. It is known for its beautiful weather and gnarly surfing. However, this town does seem to have an inferiority complex to the larger Melmond City and the more glamourous Unne. The Microcosm Corporation, its Melmond branch in Aldi spent its money to build the baseball-only Microcosm Stadium, a massive stadium for baseball. However, the Aldi Reds club team makes their home there as well. The ground crew has covered up the infield well with sod. It’s not a very quaint or pretty place, but it is a symbol of the city. The famous doll-throwing incident which made Brazillican referee Not Ronaldo very rich happened there. They are bringing back the talking doll promotion again, this time with Melmond and Aldi Reds goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm being the player given away to the first 5,000 fans 12 and under. Tickets are still available at the Microcosm Stadium box office as well as Monopoticket.

Turnia

02-05-2004, 18:49

Turnia City Tribune

Turnia City, Turnia--

Associated Press Quick Flash-- Turna 2 - 3 The Republican Army

The Dragons took the field looking fresh and appeared to play with a sense of urgency for thier Game 2 WC match against The Republican Army. But alas, close only counts in horeshoes and hand grenades. Head Coach Odle has his work cut our for him as the Freshman Dragons left the field with their heads down after the 2-3 loss. "We had a wonderful chance for a win and would have been thrilled with a draw. We ended up with neither. It is early yet and stranger things have happened, but we have quite a hill to climb", said HC Odle.

Sitting at 0-2-0 -4, the Dragons are not sitting pretty, but sa HC Odle said, it is early days yet.

APQF

Tanah Burung

02-05-2004, 18:55

DAILY CROCODILE
--Avoiding fancy typefaces since WC2--

The Crocodiles are off to a flying start in World Cup 1q4 qualifiers with a pair of back-to-back 4-1 wins.

The home opener at Lovefest Stadium saw low-ranked Crystalikere visit and the Crocs launch an all-out attack on their net. This marks a real departure for the traditionally defensive minded team, used to playing a territorial zone defence and waiting for the opponent to make a mistake, then strike back with long runs.

Now, the Black-and-Red Army striker pair Maria Miskita and Mari Bin Amude have been joined up front by Carmel Budiardjo of Lovefest in a 4-3-3 formation, backed by the reliable midfield general Anderson Mutang of Rubber Tappers and a still-solid defence anchored by Army star and team captain Rashid Nazir.

Game one was dedicated to the eucalyptus tree. "Yeah, we're dedicating all the matches to trees," said coach oreadest, looking more than a little like a tree himself with his green hair and mahogany-brown tan. "Both Tanah Burung and my own country are known for the high value they place on ecology. We're especially concerned about threats to the environment posed by metallic mobile death-traps, or cars as they are called in less enlightened states." Game two, on the road in Danilotown, was dedicated to the red cedar, and saw another Crocs dismantling of a lower-ranked foe.

Many commentators are calling those warm-up matches "the pre-season." And indeed, the next match will be a good deal tougher. Rejistania, ranked fourth in the world and Cup winners eight years ago, will be coming to play. The match has been slated for Matebian Stadium, a high-altitude facility constructed on the side of a cliff to frighten the Lemmitanian team back in World Cup 5 (without much success, as Lemmitania went on to the championship match, only to lose to Brazillico). Sports minister Bi Kikere is hoping that the high altitude will take its toll on the Orange-Blues, known for their fear of heights.

Final results:
Tanah Burung 4 Crystalikere 1
(Miskita 12, Mutang 35, Nazir 45, C. player 57, Budiardjo 70)

Danilotown 1 Tanah Burung 4
(Bin Amude 21, Miskita 28, D. player 39, Maubere 61, Mutang 85)

Lovebug

02-05-2004, 20:12

http://community.webshots.com/s/image12/0/85/68/139608568Dwcywn_ph.jpg

Carpet 1 - 1 Raptor Claw
Tingitana 2 - 1 Lovebug
ElephantandCastle 1 - 4 Alex The Tall
Dadostan 1 - 4 Dance 2 Revolution
Spaam 1 - 0 The Belmore Family

http://community.webshots.com/s/image11/0/85/7/139608507spSGrz_ph.jpg

KANIELAPAKELIKA http://espnradio.espn.go.com/i/columnists/patrick_dan_c.jpg: Good Afternoon Lovebug. Hopefully, at least a few of you are watching, I know that the festivities of yesterdays holiday went well on till the wee hours of the morning. You know I hate to give bad news to people with hangovers.

LOPAKAKIKA http://www.msnbc.com/onair/Bios/Global/costas_b.jpg: *Yawns* Good Morning Lovebug… *His head falls back onto the desk.*

KANIELAPAKELIKA: It seems my partner must have had a pretty late night himself, so I guess I’ll be handling the report myself. Sorry to say folks but the Bulldogs did not fare all too well last night – I guess you could say their minds we’re here at home instead of where they should have been – the fields of Tingitana. Thoughts were on all the naked festivities of yesterday’s May Day, as they stood on the field clothed in new uniforms provided by our regional neighbors, who after watching the match yesterday must not have realized that are players were naked by choice! We’ll give you a preview of uniforms during the commercial break but for now lets get to the action. The game was a loss from the start, the dogs just didn’t have their A game on today. Tingitana’s midfielder Melá Nilo was the first to score, after a pass from fellow midfielder Estrabé Porçino, gaining the lead about 15 min into the match-up.

LOPAKAKIKA: *Awakes momentarily from his slumber.* The Bulldogs had a…. *Falls back to sleep and starts to snore.*

KANIELAPAKELIKA: *Yells to the Production Staff* Cut, Cut, Cut! Come on now, can we please get this man off the set!

PRODUCTION GUY: *Whispers to Kanielapakelika* We’re on live sir.

KANIELAPAKELIKA: Oh, right! We’ll be back folks after this commercial break from Lovebug Sports Gear! *Show Cuts to Commercial* *He says off camera: All right lets get him off the set will ya. Two camera men help carry Lopakakika off set to his dressing room.*

COMMERCIAL ANNOUNCER: Do you like Soccer? Do you love your Bulldogs? Well now you can dress like your favorite Bulldog stars! Just call 1-800-285-5364, that’s 1-800-Bul-ldog today and you can get your very own Bulldog’s jersey…

http://community.webshots.com/s/image10/0/85/87/139608587tPeSOW_ph.jpg

FOR ONLY 39.99 Puppies (The National Currency of Lovebug, all other currencies subject to inspection…) Yes that is only 39.99 PUPPIES folks. And for being that great fan that you are we will throw in a pair of black team shorts too!

AND if you really want to go for that all out BULLDOG LOOK then order up a pair of our BRAND NEW AIR DOGS – THE OFFICIAL SHOE OF THE LOVEBUG BULLDOGS!

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FOR ONLY 29.99 Puppies, yes only 29.99 PUPPIES!

AND IF YOU ACT NOW YOU CAN GET THE JERSEY, THE FREE PAIR OF BLACK TEAM SHORTS THE SHOES, AND WE WILL THROW IN AN OFFICIAL BULLDOG SOCCER BALL FOR AN INTRODUCTORY PRICE OF 59.99 PUPPIES!

REMEMBER FOLKS DIAL 1-800-285-5364 OR 1-800-BUL-LDOG TO GET YOUR OFFICIAL GEAR!

THIS HAS BEEN A MESSAGE FROM LOVEBUG SPORTS GEAR – NOW BACK TO YOUR LNSNN SPORTS REPORT WITH KANIELAPAKELIKA!

KANIELAPAKELIKA: We’re back folks, thanks to our sponsors LSG! The dogs were down 1-0 leading into the second half, during the half time Coach Roos, gathered the team together to remind them that May Day was a day for celebration not sorrow – and just because we were not home today for the festivities doesn’t mean that couldn’t go out there and have fun – they just couldn’t be naked doing it, but that’s okay May Day will come again next year – if we are in competition that day we will petition for a home game – now lets get out there a show em’ were not beat til that buzzer blows! They went out and managed to score shortly into the second half when center midfielder Tiger "The Man" Woods http://www.football-rumours.com/images/nikokovac.jpg maneuvered the ball away from Estrabé Porçino and scored to tie up the match-up. The dogs managed to hold it together for the rest of the match-up until the final minutes – it looked as if we would end the match-up in a tie. After a failed attempt to score by Lovebug’s Dingo "The Foreign Fiend" Mei http://www.football-rumours.com/images/brendonsantalab.jpg Tingitana’s Estrabé Porçino, fueled by Woods’ steal, came back up the field managing to slip past several Bulldog defenders to score the winning goal. The Bulldog’s loose 2-1 in their second match-up, a shame but there is always tonight – the dogs will be playing at home against ElephantandCastle – we’ll be back with the scores as usual – hopefully my partner will be awake by then! Good day all.

Magnus Valerius

02-05-2004, 20:19

The Valerian Voice
Valerians Draw with Dead Men

DEAD MAN - Valeria today, after its draw with Lovisa yesterday on their home turf, went against the Dead Men today in their home as well. The Boyars wanted to bring a crushing defeat to the newcoming team to the WC, but soon they found out that their offense is strong and was good enough to break through the Valerian defence lines to score a tiemaker. Maybe the prediction on the fact that Dead Man's team is one to watch out for is well-placed.

It was a wonderful day in the enemy team's world today. Light breezes and cool weather kept everyone at ease and prevented the temperature from rising sharply above the mid-70's Farenheit. The Boyar offence today struck early; within only 15 minutes into the game, the Boyars were up 1-0. Yet, in the second half of the game, the overconfidence of the Valerian team must have hurt their performance. The offence was unable to make any more points against Dead Man for the day. And, the defence allowed the tiemaking point 5 minutes before the game ended at a draw, 1-1. Midfielder Josh Kouzoff was baffled on how this could happen. Then again, the strikers should have not been so overconfident.

Even so, the great play by the Boyar defence today prevented the game from being a total loss, while the Dead Man offence secured that team in prevented a losing streak after their first lost at Day 1. The next matchday will be held here in Valeria, versus the perennial losers of Lennon Marx. They had lost horribly in their first matchday and it is very likely that they will lose to Valeria as well.

'The First Half' Game Progress Chart
printed by VV Media, Inc.

Day 1: Lovisa v. Magnus Valerius: T 2-2
Day 2: Dead Man v. Magnus Valerius: T 1-1
Day 3: Magnus Valerius v. Lennon Marx:
Day 4: The Fivefold Star v. Magnus Valerius:
Day 5: Magnus Valerius v. Makongo-Wodimalongo:
Day 6: Commerce Heights v. Magnus Valerius:
Day 7: Magnus Valerius v. Svecia:
Day 8: Oddslavo v. Magnus Valerius:
Day 9: Magnus Valerius v. Stalag 5:

The Venues For Matchday 3

King William's Stadium
Place: Meijis City, Romanovna, Magnus Valerius
Seating Capacity: 62,500

Meijis City was planned to have become the new capital of Valeria over 60 years ago by Emperor Meijis I. It is a beautiful city, nestled in a valley between hills that reach 2,000 feet in height (mountains in the distance loom over the landscape and make a nice addition to the skyline), and the city's vinyards are reknowned the world over for their fine wines and succulent grapes. The city has little heavy industry, so the skies are usually clear. The city, though, has frequent showers that help maintain the farmland that stretched for miles outward from the city of 7,000,000 people.

King William's Stadium is home to the local baseball team: the Meijis City Kestrels. However, the stadium doubles as a stadium for the national playoffs for the football teams in Valeria. The marble edifice shimmers in the sunlight, and the stadium is viewed as one of the best in the empire. Fresh sod had been laid down for the upcoming game, and fans expect Lennon Marx blood to be spilled here. Tickets for the game are selling fast, so it is best to get them while they last at the Emperor Meijis box office. The tickets are going for 15 Crowns (US $45) a seat for adults and 11 Crowns for children and seniors.

Eauz

03-05-2004, 03:02

Le Libre

Match Day 3 Preview

Les Bleus will be travelling to Brazillico to play match day 3 of the qualifying round. Brazillico is an experienced team, who has won 2 world cups in the past. Their team has gone through the tough periods too, but appear to be on the way back up to a strong team. Les Bleus must not take this match easily, and must come out with strong attacks. Lately, Les Bleus though have not been playing at full strength, but will be looking to bounce back from a heart-breaking 1 - 0 loss to EB.

It was rumored a few days ago that there would be a bet between the two leaders, but for some reason, it fell through. Sources say, the bet was too demanding on one side, and not enough on the other side.

The stadium in Brazillico is not expected to be sold out. Many people have a big hatred for Eauz in Brazillico due to politics between the two countries.

Total n Utter Insanity

03-05-2004, 03:13

TnUI History - Part the third

The scene is slightly more fertile than the previous two.

Brazillican the first: Are you f---ing sure this is a f---ing shortcut?

Brazillican the second: f---! I was f---ing following you!

Brazillican the first: Then where the f---ing, f--- are we?

Brazillican the second: Let's f---ing ask that stupid f--- over there.

Kingsforder the only: Roll up, roll up get your gay porn here!

Brazillican the first: f---ing gay porn? Where the f--- are we?

Kingsforder the only: Welcome to The Insane Lands! Do you have enough gay porn?

Brazillican the second: Let's get something f---ing straight. We don't f---ing want f---ing gay f---ing porn!

Brazillican the first: Why the f--- is it called the f---ing Insane Lands?

Kingsforder the only: If you stay here for a while you go insane.

Brazillican the second: Then what the f--- are you f---ing doing here?

Kingsforder the only: I'm selling gay porn.

Brazillican the first: f---er.

03-05-2004, 05:39

Shang-Ti News Press --

ARE THE TIGRES DECALWED?

The first two qualifying rounds of World Cup 14 have been dismal for the beloved Shang-Ti Tigres, if only due to their actual outcomes of losses.

Coach Stuart Lin sees things a little farther than the actual scoreboard.

“Our boys did great. Look at the first two teams we’ve gone up against; Rank 16 (Giant Zucchini) and Rank 29 (One Red Dot). Of course our guys will have a difficult time with it. Not only are we going against the top cedes in our division, but this is the first time the Tigres have played internationally. To have lost by only one point in each game is a testament to the training and drive of our players. All they need is the international experience to get them in the game,” said Coach Lin during a telephone interview.

The lack of experience certainly did show during the first match against Giant Zucchini, as Shang-Ti allowed three unanswered goals during the first half. Although Goal Keeper Michael ‘Twiggy’ Peters performed well against an onslaught of Giant Zucchini attempts, he just was no match against the sheer numbers of attempts. The first half scores are a testament to how poorly the defenders played than Peters. This is the first game ever that Peters has allowed more than two goals.

Assistant Coach Tim Shang had some additional comments on the goal tending and defending of his team. “Look, as Stu said, this was the first international game these guys played. They’re used to playing each other, knowing their moves, knowing how they think. As much as I hate to say it, international gameplay requires our players to think as a foreigner. Look at the second half numbers. No goals. That shows our adaptability.”

As pleasantly surprising as the lack of second half goals allowed was, the most surprising was the lack of goals for by the Tigres. This marks the first game in eight years that Forward (and team captain) James Chui failed to turn a goal in regulation play. Chui finally was able to score two unanswered goals during penalty/injury time. Unfortunately, it was too little, too late.

The game against One Red Dot was much more heated. After Goal Keeper Michael ‘Twiggy’ Peters allowed a goal within the first 5 minutes, Shang-Tian spectators began to think a repeat of the Great Zucchini game was in order. However, Peters did a phenomenal job of denying attempt after attempt. Even more impressive was the ferocity in which the Defenders and Midfielders kept One Red Dot at back for the majority of the match.

Chui scored unassisted in the 18th minute of the first half off a daring and solid drive to tie up the match 1-1. Forward Shin Gong’Xi scored the 8th minute of the second half with brilliant passing by Chui and Midfielder Jim Wang to bring the score 2-1.

Unfortunately, a mis-pass by Defender Eric Lu gave One Red Dot the opportunity to quickly tie the game 2-2 in the 12th minute of the second half. Unfortunately, Chui, Gong’Xi and company were not able to score again; and One Red Dot snuck by Peters for a game winning goal during the 35th minute of the second half.

Now down 0-0-2, it becomes a game of catch-up for a qualifying run. Although not necessarily pessimistic, Team Captain James Chui kept things in perspective, “We’re playing our hardest against people we’ve never met before. Each day during practice we make a pledge to make Shang-Ti proud. Before each game we make a pledge to make Shang-Ti proud. Whether we qualify or not, win or not, just remember that we’re doing everything we can.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/shang-ti.jpg

“The Unnamable Is Part Of All”

OOC Information on Shang-Ti may be found HERE. (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=137829)

Click HERE for Diplomatic Exchange Information. (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=131970&highlight=)

03-05-2004, 06:43

OOC- Due to time constraints, this is all I have time for now...I'll elaborate if I get the chance.

IC-

WARRIORS MUM AFTER MATCH

The Warriors could not be reached for comment after their 1-1 draw with Crysilakere today. However, yelling could be heard from the Warriors' locker room after the match. The Warriors goal was scored by Noah Bell in the 7th minute on a indirect free kick by Maria Campbell. Bell proved that the hammy that he strained in the opening match against Vilita has now fully healed. Hopefully the Warriors will shake off the disappointing result of match in time for their next match at Danilotown.

Praying2God 1
Crysilakere 1

Goals:
Bell (7th minute from Campbell)
<unnamed Crysilakere player> (35th minute)

Unofficial Group 4 Standings:
Tanah Burung 3-0-0, 10-3 +7, 9 pts
Sqournshelous 2-0-1, 9-1 +8, 7 pts
Praying2God 2-0-1, 5-2 +3, 7 pts
Iansisle 1-1-1, 7-5 +2, 4 pts
Vilita 1-1-1, 3-3 +0, 4 pts
Crysilakere 1-1-1, 4-6 -2, 4 pts
Rejistania 1-2-0, 4-4 +0, 3 pts
Hawcoat 0-1-2, 3-5 -2, 2 pts
Ineptia 0-2-1, 1-5 -4, 1 pt
Danilotown 0-3-0, 2-14 -12, 0 pts

OOC-
My vote for most disappointing team so far: (tie) Rejistania and Eauz

Turnia

03-05-2004, 06:59

Turnia City Tribune

Associated Press Quick Flash--

Dragons see improvement in Game 3 WC Qualifier vs. Liverpool England

Even after losing 1-0 to Liverpool England in G3 and a 0-3-0 start, the heart of this Freshman Dragon team cannot be questioned:

"I am proud of the improvement we have made after our Game 1 showing. I was worried about a major letdown after yesterday's game. I know the coaching staff was too. It is important for me as Captain to try and lead by example, to not let the situation spiral out of control. Make sure that what Coach Odle wants is being understood by the team."

"We are at the bottom looking up for sure, but I will not hang my head or give up. No one on this team will," said Team Captain J. S. Turner Jr. in a post game press conference.

As the world watches, we Turnians can only hope that the Dragons can turn the corner, get on a hot streak and peak on the backside.

APQF

Vilita

03-05-2004, 06:59

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/ao/vn.gif

Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) 1 - 1 Hawcoat

(Kecker 65 ) :: ( Mattarick 7 )

The Colony of Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) Jungle Cats ......

Match Report to Follow

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif
http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/st_pierre_and_miquelon.jpg Hawcoat
Hawcoat is entirely unknown both to Vilita Sport and to VOIA. It is not believed that they will cause much of a challenge to the Jungle Cats this campaign.http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

GROUP 4 MD3 Results:

Sqournshelous 1 - 1 Ineptia
Tanah Burung 2 - 1 Rejistania
Ianisle 4 - 1 Danilotown
Praying2God 1 - 1 Crystalakere
Vilita 1 - 1 Hawcoat

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

Current Group 4 Standings:

[code:1:c317cb69df]GROUP 4 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Tanah Burung 3 3 0 0 10 3 +7 9 Sqournshelous 3 2 1 0 9 1 +8 7
Praying2God 3 2 1 0 5 2 +3 7
Iansisle 3 1 1 1 7 5 +2 4
Vilita 3 1 1 1 3 3 0 4
Crystilakere 3 1 1 1 4 6 -2 4
Rejistania 3 1 0 2 4 4 0 3
Hawcoat 3 0 2 1 3 5 -2 2
Ineptia 3 0 1 2 1 5 -4 1
Danilotown 3 0 0 3 2 14 -12 0 [/code:1:c317cb69df]

Return To Group 4 Information Page (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3106886#3106886)

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/sched.gif
M01:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [2] Praying2God <- [Match Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3111724#3111724)]
M02:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [0] Ineptia <- [Match Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3117831#31)]

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif
The Colony of Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) Jungle Cats will be looking to qualify for the World Cup finals in their second attempt after failing to do so in WCQ XIII. The Jungle Cats are currently undefeated in the last 6 Atlantian Oceania (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_region/region=atlantian_oceania) Regional championships, and look poised to add to that total in the upcoming Atlantian Oceania (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_region/region=atlantian_oceania) Olympic games. Their squad will consist of mostly young stars from the National league, with a few experienced veterans, from the days before baseball was outlawed in the Nation, to guide them on their way to Glory.

Kaze Progressa

03-05-2004, 08:55

From the Kangaroo:

HISTORIC LEMMING SACRIFICE SENDS PROGRESSANS TO VICTORY

Kaze Progressa secured their first victory over a top-twenty team in twelve years last night with a historic 2-1 defeat of WC12 co-hosts and WC13 semi-finalists Lemmitania.

In front of a sold-out Progressair Stadium, 208 lemmings on the roof boosting the capacity to a record 117,000 exactly, the Lemmings drew first blood on eighteen minutes when one of the 208 lemmings jumped off the roof and landed twenty yards from the Progressan goal. The lemming, which was genetically modified, was able to kick the ball into the penalty area, and a deflection off Lartaz Frilltanpa's hand placed the ball in the net. The referee, who with the outside intervention had little idea what to do, awarded a penalty for the handball, which was duly converted.

But the crowd, angered by the intervention, soon got delicious irony. Fifty lemmings jumped at once on Mowgi Taunilai as he cut into the penalty box from the left, taking him down. The referee awarded a penalty for that too, and Craita Weseydal converted. Half an hour gone, and 1-1.

At half-time, an expert lemming-coaxer from Fildi Zoo was called upon to remove the lemmings from the roof; they were placed in one of the executive boxes. The second half followed a more predictable pattern, the Progressans gaining most of the possession with their five-man midfield but being exposed on more than one occasion by a well-judged long ball. Ritahau prevented a goal from just that on the hour, when he blocked an attempted volley from 20 yards by rushing off his line. The Progressans responded immediately, and the ball found debutant Banat Pilnaj, who chested the ball down before unleashing a 30-yard thunderbolt that took a deflection off a hapless defender for a corner. That corner was swung in by Winasoa and duly nodded home by Orgitar Lavett.

The final 30 minutes saw a barrage of chances at both ends, but somehow the goalkeepers stood firm, the closest to another goal being Pilnaj's blasted free-kick deflecting off the wall and coming off the post. The full-time whistle was marked by deafening approval and chants of 'Margaret, Margaret, all is forgiven'.

Giant Zucchini

03-05-2004, 09:04

To Magnus Valerius: There is actually a Domestic Football thread on the forums. Here is the link:

http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=88792&highlight=

Oh, and even if the offer is accepted, Josh Kouzoff (or however it's spelt...I don't have my databases with me at the moment) will still play for your national team.

To Brazillico: Joao Cannon has quit pro football?!?!? Didn't hear about that one...

The Lowland Clans

03-05-2004, 10:27

Graham City Sun - World Cup Qualifying Coverage

TLC Stars vs Mattigool

Starting Line Up
[code:1:264f627a88]
---------Asten-----McKeehan-----Blackwing-----Jeremy---------

--------------Julios---------Illius---------Devon-------------

----------West--------------McGraff-----------Jergen---------[/code:1:264f627a88]

MATTIGOOL - Today, the Stars traveled to Mattigool to play their first away game of this qualifying against perennial underdogs Mattigool. Though favoured to do much better than they have done so far, but the Stars didn't take any chances, and it showed in their game today.

The game started off fast, with the Mattigooling forwards took advantage of their speed and played a nice pass upto their open left winger. He chargd down the wing, thinking that no one could catch him. WRONG, as Allen Jergen, ex-midfielde came charging back from behind him. Using, his excellent footwork, he took the ball away and played it up the pitch.

This was essentially the story of the game, with the clans first goal coming just as the first half was about to end. Greg Devore kicked it up off a goal kick to Illius, who worked his way around several defenders to get open at the twenty two. Everyone was watching him as he charged up the middle. He wound up for what looked like was a power shot, then he tapped it just past the goalie to Jeremy, who blasted it into the open goal.

The second half opened with a hickup, as the Mattigoolians broke through on a fantastic move past Moe West, and took a shot that beat Devoer on the low right. But the Clans stepped it up after that, and just four minutes after that, Julios was fould in the box and blew the keeper away with his power shot to win the game, and keep the Stars undefeated and on top of the group.

TLC Stars 2 - 1 Mattigool
Jeremy (44th, Illius Assist)
Julios (52nd, No Assist)

Liverpool England

03-05-2004, 11:12

[code:1:06841d4fef]Liverpool England 1:0 Turnia

-Hawkins@Hadji sent off 5
-Dirosa 14[/code:1:06841d4fef]

Decaltré Jomans for Liverpool England World Cup Qualifying Update at National Stadium

1-0. What can I say? Down to ten men after five minutes, the team suddenly went defensive. Dirosa scorind on the counter attack on 15 minutes. The newspaper can also confirm that Hadji's red card will be rescinded.

[OOC: Lack of time. Apologies for short RP.]

Cockbill Street

03-05-2004, 11:49

Streeters Beat Domesticated Animals, Lemmings
Sapient Animals Cause Little Opposition

The well-bred Thoroughbreds were the first opponents for Cockbill Street on the road to Oglethorpia and Kingsford. A bit skeptical at first against these strangely named opponents, the revamped Cockbill Street team walked out on the K’haz’bak K’druz’ba D’gazh’dukh to find that their opponents were actually horses, cows, and sheep! The Streeter captain, Helen Carpenter, complained to the referee on the grounds that their opponents had twice as many legs, but the referee refused, claiming that “Nobody asked Cockbill Street to remove a troll when he kept goal, even though he has a surface area four times that of humans.”

The Streeters, nevertheless, had superior technique with the ball. Early breakthroughs from Alec Peterson and new upcoming talent Rikki Stone saw two goals behind the Thoroughbreds’ keeper, Icelandic Horse, within only ten minutes. After a while, though, the Thoroughbreds fought back. A big defensive blunder by Helen Carpenter allowed the massive Belgian Blue to fire away into the upper-right corner, giving Thoroughbreds 1-2 and a slight hope. Another good cooperation between the Clydesdale on the left wing and the Lipizzan as central midfielder nearly resulted in 2-2, but the shot from the Hereford Breed up front grazed the bar.

Cockbill Street went into the dressing room with a slim 2-1 lead, and given the nature of the match, this scoreline was hardly unfair. What was said in the dressing room is better left unknown, but the fact was that it gave a good injection of spirit into the Streeters.

A quick raid down the right side from Harald Axewielder, playing in his fifth World Cup for Cockbill Street, tricked the Jersey Breed at right back all the way into the hot-dog stalls (where, incidentally, he was treated to a sausage-in-a-bun and didn’t return for a good five minutes), before crossing in to the new midfielder from R’dhuz’lith K’druz’ba, Einari Einarsson, who chested down the ball before hammering it under the Icelandic Horse’s legs. Some minutes later, the Morgan Horse had a fatal mistake as he mistimed a tackle and got sent off, and that sparked the end of the Thoroughbreds. With eleven men, women, dwarfs and trolls against ten domesticated animals, it was literally easy meat for Cockbill Street. Nine minutes before the end, Jonny Ball made it 4-1 with a perfect long-range strike that whizzed on the inside of the post – and in the dying seconds Rikki Stone made his second goal in his international debut.

In the second match against the former world champions Lemmitania, Cockbill Street continued to build on their reputation as plucky outsiders. In an evenly fought encounter, the Streeters went out in an attacking formation, and again Rikki Stone became the hero. First he cleared a header from a Lemmitanian striker on the line after a corner kick, and then he was vital as the Streeters fought back from an early Lemmitanian wave. For example, he was a creative force as he passed an excellent ball to Jonny Ball, but his shot hit the Lemmitanian keeper, Joe Lally (52) in the stomach. And then, he dribbled past a couple of defenders before missing the post by inches. Nevertheless, it was 0-0 at half time.

The Streeters then went out with a substituion at half-time, Bjorn Axewielder going off for Einari Einarsson, and that helped the offensive effort quite a bit. Only some magnificent saves from Lally held them in the game. Of course, the Lemmings had their chances, but they found more often than not that Petter Stonelover was everywhere. He tackled and passed with a skill that he has not yet shown on the international arena, and it is only to hope that he continues this form.

However, Rikki Stone again became the hero, as he scored from eight metres with a left-footed strike that beat Lally, and finished the game off with only six minutes to spare. Despite frantic Lemmitanian efforts, the Lemmings could not even draw the game, and Cockbill Street go off from Lemmitania with another win.

Cockbill Street 5 (Peterson 4, Stone 7, 90+3, Einarsson 56, Ball 81)
Thoroughbreds 1 (Belgian Blue 23 – Morgan Horse sent off 64)

C-mail ratings for Thoroughbreds game: Curbishley 5 – Stonelover 6, Carpenter 5 (Goldminer on 69), Johnson 5, Trucker 6 – Jones 5, H Axewielder 6 (Hauritz on 86), Einarsson 6 – Peterson 6, Ball 6, Stone 7 (Quier on 82)

Lemmitania 0
Cockbill Street 1 (Stone 84)

C-mail ratings for Lemmitania game: Curbishley 7 – Stonelover 7, Carpenter 6, Johnson 6, Trucker 7 – Jones 6, H Axewielder 8, B Axewielder 5 (Einarsson on 45 7) – Peterson 4, Ball 7, Stone 8

The Weegies

03-05-2004, 11:51

Weegie Star: Is A Good Start Too Much To Ask?

The Weegies - 1
Largent - 2

You'd think, at the Dear Green Place, surrounded by 45,000 screaming Weegie fans, that this kind of atmosphere would urge the players on to glory and fine performances the like of which have never been seen before.

You'd be wrong.

Our performance, was, to put it shortly, abysmal. This team has been hailed as the saving grace of Weegie football, the best team we've ever produced, even better than the Kincaid, De Bruis and Smith era, but could anyone say, on the basis of last night's performance, that any of our men could face up to the Weegie side that finished top of its qualifying group? Of course not, and I can only hope that this poor performance is merely our temporary blip that we always seem to get, or part of a deeper rot in Weegie football, in which we give up without a fight.

What is going on? Is Lyle losing it? He had to make a few changes, as Ferguson was jetlagged from travel from Giant Zucchini, and the defensive partnership of O'Sullivan and Johansson was unavailable due to injuries in training, but the kind of performance that that team showed on their own home turf was the kind you'd only expect from a team either with exceptionally poor tactics, or with a lack of confidence either in it's abilities or in the abilities of the manager. Or both.

It started well, with Dunn catching the Largentians on the back foot a couple of times early on, moving into space, and making the goalkeeper work for his money. This testing created the first, and only Weegie goal, with Hardie catching a fumbled rebound from a 20-yard shot by Dunn to slot it past the sprawling goalkeeper.

But even then there was a certain sluggishness about the Weegie side, and the midfield certainly wasn't using its physical prescence to command the field, as it was normally wont to do. The Largentians detected weakness, and pushed the Weegies back.

To give credit to Britton, the scoreline could, and should have been more worse. The Largentians piled in, and our defense collapsed, pushing Britton to pull of acrobatic saves to hold the Weegie lead.

But before half time, it all came down. Bryant brought a Largentian striker down in the area with a terrible mis-timed tackle, for which the red card was deserved. The Largentian quickly converted the penalty, and the Largentians gained confidence even more. We tried to push after the interval, but we had lost heart. Cartwright and the substitute Fredriksson looked innefectual in defense, and Dunn on his own couldn't do anything with the midfield getting pushed back, with Piccolo getting held up on the wing especially.

The second goal came from a cross late in the game, with the Largentians shoving the ball over the line in a mad scramble around the line to claim the three points. The Largentians, ironically, scored from their scrappiest chances, and created a few more that would have been a certain goal if not for Britton's conscientious goaltending.

We need to improve. Hopefully playing the unranked side of The Confederacy can actually make us seem like the dark horses of the group we are supposed to be according to the Spamm sporting papers, instead of this joke of a side.

Ferguson and Johansson will still be out for the next game, although O'Sullivan will prbably be fit for it.

Team:

Britton, McManus, Bryant (sent off 42), Cartwright, Johnstone, Ogilvie (sub Mathieson 67), Roper, McCann, Piccolo, Hardie (sub Fredriksson 42), Dunn.

The Weegies

03-05-2004, 12:08

Fan Non-Fiction
The official magazine of the Weegie Supporters Association

Lyle Must Go!
And change in the WFA is needed

Jonathan Lyle has lost whatever small touch he had to begin with. To lose 4-0 to an unranked side, even away from home makes any other defeat pale in comparison. We are a team who is a veteran of international football, yet we keep making embarassing shows like the one in The Confederacy. Defence was a joke, our midfielders did nothing, and whoever let Sartré back in between the sticks in an international match after his shockingly bad national performances clearly is not a sane and rational man.

You can't "give someone a chance" in a game that means something. We have to struggle for every point we can get now, and Sartré does not have the confidence of either us fans or the players. Sartré was the worst player out there, his goalkeeping inept. He wasn't an international, he was a little lost schoolboy, looking for an exit.

But this isn't the worst problem. The WFA has refused to democratise itself, to remain a faceless body amongst all the democratisation that went around it not so long ago. It's stupidity allows it to make terrible mistakes, but it cannot be punished for those mistakes. they can chide a manager, but they are an anachronism, and the WFA has to catch up with the times, otherwise the Weegie fans will get frustrated in an over-bureaucratised footballing regime. Grassroots football need more investment, not stadiums. Kids need kits, not major teams. We are facing a major underfunding in training footballers from a young age, and that comes to hurt us. In the next few years, we won't have the facilities that would train another Smith from scratch. The WFA must listen to those who support it, and keep it alive through all the money we pay to see matches.

We are the people who pay, and we will not be ignored.

Rejistania

03-05-2004, 13:54

Headlines of the KaMaRi Update:

MD2: It's a mistake

MD3: Loser
The Orange-Blues started their slide into mediocricy or to put it more simple and also more appropriate: into the lower regions of the tables. Coach Laxtu Takil's attempts to turn the System Imdila into a more offensive style of play merely led to the fact that the defense lost its normal class while the offense still has their normal weakness. After the Orange-Blues lost against the know enemy Squornshelous 0-2, it was explained by bad luck and the process of change in which the national team is. The 2-1 could be explained by the same reasons, but critical comments arise. Ha~e Hangila, former co-coach and now coach of the Abysmal national team said that "The team from WC9 could defeat the current team 4-0." While the national team laughed and commented it as being totally unrealistic and Ha~e Hangila as someone who can not compare, other voices say the comparism is possible. Professor Gojina from the Sikenian Acadamy of Strange Sciences pointed out, that current holographic technology would allow to re-create the national team from WC9 in their former form as holographic projections. If the program would run stable, a friendly between the teams would be possible.

Snub Nose 38

03-05-2004, 14:12

DAILY CROCODILE
--Avoiding fancy typefaces since WC2--
:D

One Red Dot

03-05-2004, 14:16

From a page somewhere in The Red Dot Informant

...victory against Shang-Ti...no surprises there...3-2 in away match...Assistant Coach Chris Gwee promises a better team...President Alvamas promises a 5% tax cut...Ming-Wei ZHONG set to be Dorona FC's Player-of-the-Year...editor of RDI finds little time in RP-ing and apologises...editor also claims that Oglethorpia is screwing everything for Group 9...okay, maybe this is not so much an RP anymore?

Brazillico

03-05-2004, 14:32

To GZ: It was in the World Cup 14 Pre-RP Thread. He said he would honour the rest of his professional contract with Wurthington, but would afterwards pursue a career on Broadway.

The Brazillico Advance

Eauzian Prime Minister Wusses Out On Bet!
Damn Good Thing, Or Else He’d Have Disgraced Eauz’s Parlaiment

Brazillican President Luis de los Ronaldo and Eauzian Prime Minister <Franque Toustouveux> were ascertaining talks as to the proposed South Island highway. This momentous spectacle of diplomacy quickly degenerated into a war of words, when the leaders made some jousting remarks about the other’s team. However, these were not grade school children but heads of state; and they decided to settle this by how else? A gentlemen’s wager.

De los Ronaldo proposed that, in case of a Brazillian victory, <Franque Toustouveux> would have to run across Eauzian parliament wearing a Brazillican jersey, and only a Brazillican jersey. If the defending champions were victorious, de los Ronaldo would have had to wear an Eauzian jersey all day long, pants included, with the words “Eat Fwench Bwead” embroidered on the front and “Je suis Fwenchy” on the name tag.

It appeared as though we had a deal both parties could settle on, but before shaking on it, de los Ronaldo demanded that <Franque Toustouveux> have to perform at least one cartwheel on his streak. <Franque Toustouveux> was outraged and stormed away from the discussion table, leaving behind the wager as well as the transportation talks.

But the show must go on.

And it did, as both Emerald Heights sides took to the field in front of 80,000 boisterous Brazillicans at Undelay Industries Stadium in Kalita.
-See Page C1-

*<Franque Toustouveux>=Insert eauzian Head of State here

You flip to page C1, but what’s this? No page! Somebody must have stolen it. Quickly, you turn on the television set to see what’s going on. The channel gets set to BSN, they’re recapping the game. Blast! The mute button’s on! Gotta find the remote. Where’s the frickin’ remote. Screw it, you say, as you just sit down and let the pictures talk for themselves.[i]

14:00 [i]Eauz is making a push up field toward the Brazillican net. Passes it into Joseuf in the world! He’s got all the time in the world. Lisa Cannon squares herself up as Joseuf prepares to shoot, but he gets taken out by Hilario. Hilario gets shown the yellow and then the referee points to the spot. The ball gets placed on the spot and Joseuf steadies his nerve. He takes a hard shot towards the far post. Lisa Cannon guesses correctly, but too much power and precision on the Joseuf’s strike, as the defending champs congregate around Joseuf to celebrate a penalty well taken. (0-1)

37:00 Brazillico controlling the ball in Eauz’s end. Filipo Cannon collects the pass and sends it over to Tobias Cannon. Tobias sends it to Junior Socrates. He one-touches it back to Tobias. Cannon strikes one hard on delivery towards the pass. Junior Socrates gets just the faintest of touches as the hard shot whizzes by him, changing the trajectory of the ball just enough to fool B. Yeuseuv, who had already committed to his right. Junior Socrates run towards the goal line and throws himself into a front flip. The second he lands on his feet, he’s mugged by his team mates. (1-1)

55:00 The defending champs showing the form which won them the cup. Great tic-tac-toe passing on the perimeter of the box has the Brazillican defence scrambling. J. Coeur receives the ball and fancies a go on net, unleashing a wicked shot. Lisa Cannon dives to her left and gets both hands on the ball, catching it and saving her team from danger. The teams jog back up field as Lisa Cannon clears Eauz’s best scoring chance of the half. (1-1)

88:00 S. Hoja passes the ball across to B. Courveut. Courveut prepares to nonchalantly accept the pass, but Alex Cannon picks his pocket and sprints towards the Eauzian net. He passes it across to Sandro Cannon, who finds himself all alone. Yeuseuv comes charging off his line and dives towards the ball, as Sandro tries to chip it over him. At the last second, Yeuseuv is able to raise his hand enough to deflect the ball over the post and onto the top of the net. Sensational goalkeeping.(1-1)

89:00 Ensuing corner taking place and it looks as though Brazillico is sending all hands on deck. Big bodies Todd Pink, Paul Hilario and Tom Maracana have all made the trip into Eauz’s box. Tobias Cannon sets the ball down on the edge of the corner area and whips one into the box. Pink, who is standing by the near post meets it with his head and send it to the lower portion of the net. Yeuseuv comes up with a sensational toe save, but keeps the ball in play. Sandro tries to find the net again and takes a shot, but it goes off an Eauzian defender. Yeuseuv dives to jump and cover the ball, but Junior Socrates slides and oushes the ball out of Yeuseuv’s grasp. Filipo Cannon then hustles in and beats the Eauzian defender to it, flicking the ball towards net. There’s nothing the disarrayed away side can do as they watch the ball simply float into the empty net. Filipo, who’s flat on his back, raises his arms in triumph as the rest of the team jumps on him. The long-time underachiever just scored the goal that put Brazillico back on the map. (2-1)

Brazillico 2 (J. Socrates 37, F. Cannon 89)
Eauz 1 (D. Joseuf 14)

Leading Scorers
A. Cannon 4
S. Cannon 2
J. Socrates 2
F. Cannon 1

OOC- Hah! Leapfrogged! But Eauz's account will still stand for all I care. I just think mine's a little more touching how the career underachiever heroically scored the game winning goal, much a la Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Anyway, carry on.

Eauz

03-05-2004, 14:43

Le LIBRE

Rough start for Les Bleus

After 3 matches, Les Bleus are not looking like the first place team they were 4 years ago. Their play has been less than reasonable and has given up easy goals.

Experts of Eauz Football:

George Lédoy: What do you expect from a team who has just won the world cup, and then four years later to put together another 1st place performance? Especially when many guys have retired or no longer can play who were on the last national team. We still have some of the past players, but we don’t have the chemistry of that past team. You also got to look at the teams they have played. They beat a newbie team, and lost to two experienced teams. Just wait, they will be back on top.

Michelle Samuel: These guys just don’t have the heart for winning. Many have left, and there are new guys up here too. But why should we be worried? This always happens to team who win the world cup, it’s the curse of Margret.

As for the third match day, Les Bleus travelled to Brazillico, expecting a well played match between the two squads. It proved to be a well played match, resulting in favour of the home team. The fans played a big part in the Brazillico win, as there were all sorts of anti-Eauz chants and slogans. Brazillico used that atmosphere to score two early goals during the 20th and 28th minutes of play. This did not help out the moral of Les Bleus. Going into the second half, Les Bleus were down 2 – 0. Les Bleus though found a way back into the match, with a long distance goal into the right corner of the net. This goal brought back the moral of Les Bleus, but it was too late, as the home team took the match 2 – 0.

The loss pushes Les Bleus down to 6th place, putting them 6 points out of first place. The next match for Les Bleus will come against The Weegies, who have yet to record a victory, and lost the first three matches they have played. Unfortunately for Les Bleus, The Weegies have played well against Les Bleus, and could surprise Les Bleus with their first victory, if Les Bleus are not careful. The match will be played at Le Stade d’Eauz.

[code:1:8c11ebfd52]
GROUP 10 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Brazillico 3 3 0 0 9 2 +7 9
Europa Britannia 3 3 0 0 7 0 +7 9
EL CID THE HERO 3 2 0 1 7 6 +1 6
The Confederate 3 2 0 1 7 6 +1 6
Melmond 3 1 1 1 5 3 +2 4
Eauz 3 1 0 2 5 5 0 3
Largent 3 1 0 2 4 7 -3 3
Lallania 3 1 0 2 4 8 -4 3
Oceaice 3 0 1 2 2 6 -4 1
The Weegies 3 0 0 3 2 9 -7 0
[/code:1:8c11ebfd52]

Match Day 1: Oceaice @ Eauz W 4 - 2
Match Day 2: Europa Britannia vs Eauz L 1 - 0
Match Day 3: Eauz @ BrazillicoL 1 - 2
Match Day 4: The Weegies @ Eauz
Match Day 5: Eauz @ EL CID THE HERO
Match Day 6: Melmond @ Eauz
Match Day 7: Eauz @ Largent
Match Day 8: The Confederate @ Eauz
Match Day 9 : Eauz @ Lallania

Match Day 10: Eauz @ Oceaice
Match Day 11: Eauz @ Europa Britannia
Match Day 12: Brazillico @ Eauz
Match Day 13: Eauz @ The Weegies
Match Day 14: EL CID THE HERO @ Eauz
Match Day 15: Eauz @ Melmond
Match Day 16: Largent @ Eauz
Match Day 17: Eauz @ The Confederate
Match Day 18: Lallania @ Eauz

Brazillico

03-05-2004, 14:44

Another Eauz sandwich with a double!

Jeruselem

03-05-2004, 14:46

In JGN Sport section:

Editor: 3-0 to Jeruselem, we beat Nanakaland! Hang on We beat them 3-1 on day 2
Reporter: Weird, this came from those World Cup officials
Editor: They've done this before, can't remember.
Reporter: That was a while ago
Editor: Hang on, an update on fax machine is coming ...
Reporter: I'll get it, boss

...

Reporter: It's a bunch of different scores. Jeruselem 1 - Clearwater 1
Editor: 3-0 sounded better. We'll write the damn thing later.
Reporter: Why?
Editor: I have an appointment
Reporter: You're not going to on date with secretary again!
Editor: Err, yeah howd you know?
Reporter: She's my cousin
Editor: Oh? she any good
Reporter: Just go, she's real whore
Editor: OK! ... runs off
Reporter: I'm the boss!

Tadjikistan

03-05-2004, 15:24

http://www.internews.tj/russian/images/newlogo1.gif

Victory over a weak enemy

Dushanbe - Keyshona came to Tadjikistan knowing it would have a strong opponent to beat, Tadjikistan is in its best form since the last World Cup qualifications and Keyshona witnessed it. In packed Buranbay Stadium 72.000 Tadjiks watched how Keyshona got pushed with their back into their goal, they fought back but could not stem the tide.

The opening goal was made from a corner, in the 20th minute Lyudnikov kicked the ball into the pack, Luchinsky jumped together with a Keyshonian defender. But Luchinsky reached higher and scored with the head. It was the first result of the pressure the Tadjiks put on Keyshona's defense.

During the last minutes of the first half, Yashin came into contact with a Keyshonian attacker trying to take the ball. Yashin was seriously injured to the head and carried of the field, where a doctor decided to bring him away for further treatment and examining. Therefore Yakir had to replace him with Bogdanov, a goalkeeper who also plays for Spartak Dushanbe.

During the pause Yakir replaced Suvorov, who played his second match, for Zhukov. Zhukov had been on the bench after an operation to the knee, and now returned to the team. The teams medic, Doctor Goppe would not allow him to play a full match, but Yakir insisted on having on the field. Goppe eventually gave his permission to let him play for 45 minutes, to improve his condition.

During the second half Tadjikistan went on the offensive and started looking for opportunities, Cherniakhovskij found one in the 68th minute and scored. Cherniakhovskij's goal ensured victory for Tadjikistan. But the match wasnt over yet, as Aleinikov scored his first goal for Tadjikistan in the 70th minute, after a nice maneuver led him past the Keyshona defense.

Keyshona made one goal to save their honour in the 85th minute but by then the Tadjiks wer already sure of their win.

3 wins in a row give Tadjikistan a good position in the group as leader, they will now go to Bobbystan add more points to their total, and strenghten their position. Bobbystan is another new team, and experts are quite sure that Tadjikistan will win, usually they are right so they'll probably be right now too.

Our matches:
M1: Tadjikistan - Intelligent Madness W 2-1
M2: Aerigia - Tadjikistan W 1-3
M3: Tadjikistan - Keyshona W 3-1
M4: Bobbystan - Tadjikistan
M5: Tadjikistan - Bedistan
M6: Kerla - Tadjikistan
M7: Tadjikistan - Dennisov
M8: Belmorian Scandinavia - Tadjikistan
M9: Tadjikistan - Vollmeria
M10: Intelligent Madness - Tadjikistan
M11: Tadjikistan - Aerigia
M12: Keyshona - Tadjikistan
M13: Tadjikistan - Bobbystan
M14: Bedistan - Tadjikistan
M15: Tadjikistan - Kerla
M16: Dennisov - Tadjikistan
M17: Tadjikistan - Belmorian Scandinavia
M18: Vollmeria - Tadjikistan

ooc: Will add the group next time when i'm sure its correct.

Lovebug

03-05-2004, 15:50

MATCHDAY 3 REPORT FOR GROUP 8

Lovebug DEFEATS ElephantandCastle 3 to 1
Carpet DEFEATS The Belmore Family 3 to 2
Dance 2 Revolution DEFEATS Spaam 2 to 1
Alex The Tall DEFEATS Dadostan 1 to 0
Tingitana DEFEATS Raptor Claw 2 to 1

And now here is your LNSNN Report with announcers KANIELAPAKELIKA –http://espnradio.espn.go.com/i/columnists/patrick_dan_c.jpg & LIKEKEMEANUI (Sitting in for LOPAKAKIKA) – http://www.dickvitaleonline.com/resources/dv.gif.

KANIELAPAKELIKA – Good Moning Lovebugians, I’m here with my good friend LIKEKEMEANUI, our field reporter, sitting in for LOPAKAKIKA, who needed an extra day to “recover” from may day festivities – welcome to the studio LIKEKEMEANUI.

LIKEKEMEANUI – Thanks, its good to be here, especially today after last nights win by the Bulldogs.

KANIELAPAKELIKA – Yes it was nice to get the victory after yesterday’s sorry performance against Tingitana, their spirits were definitely up being able to play at home last night.

LIKEKEMEANUI – Yeah I hear that Queen ShyButterfly arranged a little treat for them since they missed most of the May Day festivities; rumor has it she extended them in each of the boy’s hometown, so they could participate.

KANIELAPAKELIKA – REALLY, well whatever happened the Dogs were back on track last night as they defeated ElephantandCastle 3 to 1. We got two quick scores on the board; one by good old #26 Art "Sure Shot" Varkenstein http://www.football-rumours.com/images/matthewupson2.jpg off a pass from Eagle "Golden Foot" Grant http://www.football-rumours.com/images/hoekstra3.jpg, a few minutes later Art returned the favor passing to Eagle allowing him to score the second point of the match-up.

LIKEKEMEANUI – Say hey, didn’t I see that your son joined up with the dogs for this season?

KANIELAPAKELIKA – Yes, my wife and I are very proud of Pekamelako http://www.football-rumours.com/images/peterlovenkrands4.jpg. He has wanted to play for the dogs since he was a kid, he probably wont see much action this season though, they have two other really great forwards, but Roos tells me that he is fitting in really well with the rest of the boys, and has great potential.

LIKEKEMEANUI – That’s just great, well I know I’ll be looking for him in the future. Back to the game though – they were looking good they were up 2-0 going into the half – ElephantandCastle came back and scored 2 minutes into the second half. Do we have any idea who that was by the way?

KANIELAPAKELIKA – No it seems they have neglected to post a roster. Doesn’t really matter though – I think it was a midfielder. Well we were still up 2-1 going into the last ten minutes of the match-up when one of their players, not sure who, fouled Orca "Flipper" Whalters http://www.football-rumours.com/images/aimar3.jpgas he was trying to make a shot. He got a penalty kick and got it in the goal, the final score of the match-up to give us the 3-1 win. We’ll be back tomorrow from Dadostan – see you then.

Europa Brittania

03-05-2004, 16:38

Brittania start with a smile.

A packed, ninety two thousand strong Brittanan crowd energised New Providence Park last night as Europa Brittana marched to a comprehensive 4-0 win over Lallania.

Alistair Hughes had talked to S-net over what he considered a great chance to progress through the tournament-

"Our group is by no means impossible. We have beaten both of the favourites, Brazillico and Eauz, [the former some time ago] and I believe that we can replicate those wins here, now. We have taken the championship twice, and there is no reason why we should fear any teams in the world today. We should respect them, and their team and achievements, but never shy away from our own. I believe we can march on one more time."

And march on they did indeed, slotting four goals past Lallania with no reply. Lionel was first, bulleting a header from a wicked Khandrias cross, bending in so easily that Lionel had merely to time his direction to ensure a goal. The second courtesy of Lomardi, who unleashed a thirty yard piledriver that smashed off the crossbar and into the net.

Brittania added a third just after the re-start, The legs off Lester providing considerable deflection for a Kiwitz effort, that killed the game off with twenty minutes still to play. The fourth was a first international goal for Gareth Higgens, a sixty eighth minute replacement for Michele Lomardi.

Dribbling past a defender, he slotted a neat ball for Lester to finish, but the effort smashed off the outstretched legs of the Lallanian keeper. Higgens threw himself to the ground, a diving header enough to direct the rebounding ball back into the net.

FINAL SCORE

Europa Brittania 4 Lallania 0

Lionel 4

Lomardi 17

Kiwitz 59

Higgens 82

World champions deposed!

Europa Brittania today left the Eauz International Stadium with a 1-0 win over the reigning champions, in a result that gives the two time champions a massive boost in their quest for automatic promotion from group 10. Alistair Hughes had notified the press that his squad had taken the entire afternoon before off, in mental preperation for a tie that would surely be as closely contested as before.

EB lined up as usual, 4-3-3.

--------------Hansen-----------------

---Ferien---Zlitchrix---O'Hanrahan---

-----Huntly--Kiwitz--Khandrias-------

------Lomardi--Lional--Lester--------

Brittania took however, a different game plan to Eauz. Restraining their attacking mentality, they had Lomardi and Lester retreat into deeper positions, almost playing a 4-5-1 at times, and flooding the midfield, frustrating Eauz as they tried to push forward, and keeping a formidable front line in check.

EB broke forward several times, but the nearest to goal they came was a Lester volley thay rifled the side netting.

Eauz broke through twice, both looking for inspirational saves from Hansen, and finding them. The second half saw a hungrier Brittania, perhaps sensing some weariness in the Euaz camp. They snatched what proved to the the deciding blow on fifty three minutes. A chipped ball evaded the Eauz offside trap, and put through Lomardi. The X-teem hitman made no mistake, swerving round the despairing shot stopper, and sidefooting the ball into an empty net. The Brittanains situated behind the goal went delirious, as did the Brittanian bench. Eauz were visibly deflated, and despite looking to have scored the equaliser, until a superb Zlitchrix clearance off the line, were unable to return the deficit.

FULL TIME

Eauz 0 Europa Brittania 1

Lomardi 53

EB look to Brazillico, but keep matter close to hand.

Alistair Hughes confirmed in this mornings press conference that despite defeating Oceaice 2-0, the thoughts of group ten glory are still pie in the sky. The international manager, and his players began looking to the second of four crucial ties, againat former two time champions Brazillico.

"We have, realistically speaking, three teams in group ten who could each finish first. The [current] World Champions. [Eauz] Brazillico, and ourselves. Obviously only two of those teams are looking at automatic qualification. Our matches against the duo will be crucial to our progression. We've already managed an impressive result against Eauz 1-0, but we must look to improve, and double that feat."

Oceaice were seen off courtesy of a Khandrias free kick and a second consecutive goal for Gareth Higgens, who took his first competitive World Cup start ahead of Michele Lomardi, who wasn't risked with a slight thigh strain.

Khandrias rocketed his goal into the roof of the net on fifteen minutes, the keeper unable to do anything but jerk his head round in time to almost have his face taken off by the missile like ball. Oceaice had a chance to break, but where a good ball through to the forward was needed to challlenge Hansen, a poor effort saw enough Brittanian players flood back to negate the danger.

EB made the game save from a corner just before half time. A swingning Kiwitz left sided effort met the onrushing forehead of Higgins, who crashed a looping header into the left hand corner, despite the fingertips of the goalkeeper.

FINAL SCORE

Europa Brittania 2 Oceaice 0

Khandrias 15

Higgins 43

Cockbill Street

03-05-2004, 16:46

Dropping Like a Stone
Hero In First Two Matches - then Sent Back to U21s

On a press conference after Cockbill Street's 3-2 defeat of the G Bugles, the manager Ian Olsen announced that Rikki Stone would not be in the sixteen to play Kaze Progressa in the next game.

Olsen said that "Rikki has shown what he's capable of, but he looked very worried and nervy today. We've got other quality strikers, and we want to use them."

The fact remains, however, that Rikki Stone is the top scorer. With three goals, he surpasses fellow strikers Jonny Ball and Alec Peterson (who has only two and one) and even another shining star, Einari Einarsson of Division 2 club U'dh'gazh'dukh, who has scored two goals.

Yesterday's match was a simple win against a relatively unknown team. After an early setback, Einarsson scored another goal with his left foot, tying the game at 1 all. And Petter Stonelover headed in 2-1 from an exquisitely made corner from Alec Peterson - and from then on it was cruising. Jonny Ball made it 3-1 in the 80th minute, from a fight inside the penalty area where he eventually jerked the ball over the goal-line with his hip, and the Bugles were allowed a consolation goal late in the game.

C-mail ratings for G Bugles game: Curbishley 6 – Stonelover 5 (Rogers on 84), Carpenter 4, Johnson 4, Trucker 6 – Jones 5 (B Axewielder on 68 ), H Axewielder 6, Einarsson 6 – Peterson 7, Ball 5, Stone 5 (Quier on 71)

Cockbill Street 3 (Einarsson 23, Stonelover 41, Ball 80)
G Bugles 2 (***** 8, **** 86)

The Evil Umpire

03-05-2004, 17:12

We win again. Yay!

Snub Nose 38

03-05-2004, 17:13

*this snippet, torn out of the sports pages of this mornings scuttlebutt, was left on a little stone table in a windowless back room of the offices of the minister of athletics, olympics, and alcoholic beverages. it lies there beside a dilapidated, grubby old rubber chicken, a single eagle feather, and an incense burner holding only some warm ash. in almost illegible handwriting at the very bottom it appears to say "random number gods: thanks, margaret"*

World Cup 14 Qualifiers, GROUP 3 – Matchday 3 Results
Ravenspire 1- 0 Airenguo
Snub Nose 38 1 - 0 Halfassedstates
NEWI Cefn Druids 3 - 1 Tepalguana
The Redavic Union 3 - 1 Holy lndia
Pablicosta 1 - 2 The Evil Umpire

Current Group 3 Table
[code:1:80b46239a4]GROUP 3 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Snub Nose 38 3 3 0 0 7 2 5 9 roster, pg 3
NEWI Cefn Druids 3 2 1 0 9 3 6 7 roster, pg 1
Ravenspire 3 2 1 0 4 2 2 7
The Redavic Union 3 2 0 1 7 5 2 6
The Evil Umpire 3 2 0 1 5 7 -2 6 roster, pg 1
Pablicosta 3 1 0 2 6 5 1 3
Halfassedstates 3 1 0 2 2 2 0 3 roster, pg 2
Tepalguana 3 0 1 2 3 6 -3 1
Holy lndia 3 0 1 2 4 9 -5 1
Airenguo 3 0 0 3 1 7 -6 0[/code:1:80b46239a4]

Current Top Qualifiers
[code:1:80b46239a4]
1 Tanah Burung 3 3 0 0 10-3 9 Gp 4
2 Stalag 5 3 3 0 0 9-2 9 Gp 5
2 Brazillico 3 3 0 0 9-2 9 Gp 10
4 Europa Britannia 3 3 0 0 7-0 9 Gp 10
5 Cockbill Street 3 3 0 0 9-3 9 Gp 2
6 The Lowland Clans 3 3 0 0 8-2 9 Gp 7
7 Total n Utter Insanity 3 3 0 0 7-1 9 Gp 1
8 Kaze Progressa 3 3 0 0 8-3 9 Gp 2
8 Tadjikistan 3 3 0 0 8-3 9 Gp 6
10 Snub Nose 38 3 3 0 0 7-2 9 Gp 3
10 Dance 2 Revolution 3 3 0 0 7-2 9 Gp 8
12 Tingitana 3 3 0 0 6-3 9 Gp 8
13 Bedistan 3 3 0 0 5-2 9 Gp 6
13 Belmorian Scandinavia 3 3 0 0 5-2 9 Gp 6
[/code:1:80b46239a4]

---------------------
ooc: hope to get a "real" rp in later today

Snub Nose 38

03-05-2004, 17:32

We win again. Yay!you wanna expand on that a little...? :wink:

Melmond

03-05-2004, 18:39

Hats Off to Chris Owen
Hometown Hero’s Hat Trick Gives Melmond Their First Victory
By Jim Dwordorf of the Aldi Tribune

ALDI, MELMOND—After struggling in their first two matches against EL CID THE HERO and Oceaice, Melmond was looking to have a big performance. The conditions certainly seemed right for that to happen against Largent. It was an absolutely gorgeous day at Microcosm Stadium as the sun was shining but not too hard. The temperature was perfect, and a sold-out crowd of 65,000 people were eagerly waiting the reawakening of their Fearless Farmers. You also heard many voices of goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm in the crowd as talking dolls of his likeness were given out in another very successful promotion. Perhaps the dolls were an inspiration to Xtfuinxm as he played the stellar games the home crowd in Aldi is used to seeing from him. No doll throwing here.
Things didn’t look too good in the beginning of the first half, as Largent stormed with a furious offensive attack. The Melmond defence was kept on their toes. Largent strikers Tucker Johnston and Reed Snyderman got off some very well-placed shots, however Snhp Xtfuinxm was even better placed and was able to make the saves. One very spectacular save came from what looked like a sure goal. Reed Synderman found Snhp Xtfuinxm out of position and made a pass to Michale Febluwitz. Febluwitz hesitates a little bit to put it in the wide open net and he pays the price as an flying and outstretched Xtfuinxm was able to get his hand on the ball to deflect it away. Melmond defender Jonsi Torrini was able to recover the deflection and clear the ball away.
The offensive momentum was slowly creeping toward Melmond’s way. The first breakthrough happened late in the first half at the 40th minute. In an astounding effort by the midfield, whenever the Largent defence was trying to clear the ball away, the midfield made a nifty maneuver to put it back in play. The back and forth action finally got the Largent defence to tire and concede a corner kick. Jonsi Torrini was there to take the corner. Instead of trying his circus Acosta-Audioslavia Arc kick, he decided to let up a floater knowing that Melmond striker Chris Owen will leap the highest and head the ball in. Torrini guesses right as Chris Owen soars over the Largent defenders and makes a very well-timed header past Largent goalkeeper Nick Weber. The crowd went wild and a psyched Chris Owen slides to his knees and pumps his fists in the air. The Aldi native and striker for the Aldi Reds makes it 1-nil in favor of Melmond. The first half ended with that result.
The second half started with an offensive strike attempt by Largent. Those were quickly thwarted as Jonsi Torrini was able to outmuscle the Largent strikers and clear the ball away. Scott Cheney did not let the Largent strikers get a clear shot at the net. Fan favorite Nina Steen flirted with Largent midfielder Michale McCarthy and stole the ball and his heart away from him. After the dumping by Steen, Melmond midfielder Martin Goodwin dribbled with the ball. He makes the perfect cross to a streaking Chris Owen, who imitates a missile with his acrobatic header as the Largent goalkeeper had no chance of stopping the ball. An absolutely beautiful second goal by Owen at the 63rd minute gives Melmond the 2-nil lead.
Largent only true chance to get a goal came at the 79th minute. Melmond conceded a corner kick. Largent player Reed McMurray takes the free kick. Largent striker Tucker Johnston looks well in position to head it past the keeper. However, Snhp Xtfuinxm takes his large frame and freakish strength and fists the ball a quarter ways across the field. The fans cheered heavily the performance of the Aldi Reds goalkeeper.
Chris Owen’s third goal proved that he can do more than be acrobatic. He receives a pass from midfielder Cristina Antunez. Largent defender Yuri Kolchinskie was charging to make the sliding tackle. Chris Owen niftily sidesteps the attempt and makes a shot that banks of the right goalpost into the net. Hats were thrown on the field by the enraptured Melmond fans as Chris Owen picked up one of the hats and put it on his head and played air guitar in celebration. Owen gets his hat trick at the 83rd minute as Melmond wins the match 3-nil over Largent. They are now even in their minds.
The next match is a surprisingly tough The Confederate side. Manager Felix Coostatlwak said of the upcoming match, “This should be a bit difficult, we have been struggling away from home and The Confederate did one thing we couldn’t do, and beat EL CID THE HERO on the road.”

Goals
Owen, MEL 40th
Owen, MEL 63rd
Owen, MEL 83rd

Cards
None

Standings

Other Group 10 Results
Europa Brittania 2 – Oceaice 0
Brazillico 2 – Eauz 1
The Weegies 1 – Lallania 3
EL CID THE HERO 2 – The Confederate 3

[code:1:08c6bc11e2]Group 10
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Brazillico 9 3 0 0 9:2 7
2. Europa Brittania 9 3 0 0 7:0 7
3. EL CID THE HERO 6 2 0 1 7:6 1
4. The Confederate 6 2 0 1 7:6 1
5. Melmond 4 1 1 1 5:3 2
6. Eauz 3 1 0 2 5:5 0
7. Largent 3 1 0 2 4:7 -3
8. Lallania 3 1 0 2 4:8 -4
9. Oceaice 1 0 1 2 3:7 -4
10. The Weegies 0 0 0 3 2:9 -7[/code:1:08c6bc11e2]

Melmond Team Stats
Goals: Chris Owen (3), Benjamin Leeb (1)
Cards: Scott Cheney (1)

The Melmond National Team Schedule

@ EL CID THE HERO L 2-1
@ Oceaice T 1-1
v Largent (Microcosm Stadium, Aldi) W 3-0
@ The Confederate
v Lallania (Xpress Counsel Field, Cali)
@ Eauz
v Europa Brittania (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne)
@ Brazillico
v The Weegies (Frankndottir Stadium, Acosta)
v EL CID THE HERO (Woocat Books Ballpark, O’Connor)
v Oceaice (Lifedonations Stadium, Morales)
@ Largent
v The Confederate (MPNK Stadium, Faasen)
@ Lallania
v Eauz (White Bread Dome, Suburbia)
@ Europa Brittania
v Brazillico (Melmond Bowl, Melmond City)
@ The Weegies

Next Game
at The Confederate

Ooooooooooooweeeeeeee this is going to be a doozy! Ever since their 4-nil thumping at the hands of Brazillico, The Confederate got on a tear dominating The Weegies 4-nil at home and beating EL CID THE HERO on the road, something that the Fearless Farmers were not able to do. The Confederate will certainly want to make Melmond squeal like a piggy in front of their home folk, but Melmond had been one wild boar lately as Largent could not get control of them. Something tells me that Melmond is on a streak and these pig-wrasslers are going to get run over. Manager Felix Coostatlwak has decided to keep Chris Owen in the starting lineup due to his stellar performance in the last match.

GK- Snhp Xtfuinxm
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Scott Cheney
D- Nina Steen
M- Martin Goodwin
M- Critandi Unne
M- Camui Arai
M- Cristina Antunez
F- Mornakh the Bloody Handed
F- Chris Owen

For tickets to The Confederate and the match, call the Therewegoes Travel Agency at 3-18-357-9009. The Confederate is basically deep-fried Dixie with a touch of jingoistic socialism. A strange patois we know. The Confederate is what Lars Von Trier thinks America on Earth is. Just go to the game and don’t do much more.

Iansisle

03-05-2004, 22:43

((Double post? I've no idea what you're talking about!))

Iansisle

03-05-2004, 22:43

Quartet in Westergate
Ians' offense explodes, but in a good way this time!

Jamie C. Peters
Ians Correspondent

WESTERGATE, Iansisle -- After limping through the first two games of the season, the Ians could only manage to draw 16,981 to the Westergate Footballing Grounds for their third. It was the lowest home attendance of any match in Ians history since the time of Leo Lightning and those pre-SuperCup days.

Maybe the players were responding to the gauntlet thrown down by their fans. Maybe they were listening too closely to David Westmore's pre-game harangue. Maybe it was a last ditch, superhuman effort to defend the glory of the flag in the world's eyes.

Whatever the cause, the Ians, for the first time in years, flashed a hint of their bygone brilliance. Led by veteran superstar Alexander Truman and new phenomenon Brian Lyon, the Ians' vaunted offense at last broke out, running all over Danilotown for four goals.

True, Danilotown may not be the toughest side in Group Four; true, the Ians had something of a homefield advantage (doubtlessly, they'd never played a World Cup qualifying game before such a small crowd) - but the victory served a purpose far beyond the mere three points. It was a notch in the win column, and a resounding one at that.

Had this third game ended in bitter disappointment and humiliation like the first two, the Ians would be ill prepared for a grueling trip to Rejistania and the game there against a fourth ranked team. Rejistania is also having a poor start to the season, losing two of their first three matches. Granted, one of their losses was the always dangerous Tanah Burung Crocs, whereas the Ians have struggled against the group's second division, but a 4-1 win always triumphs over a 1-2 loss, no matter the opposition.

"We feel like we could take on anyone," grinned David Westmore at an after game press conference. "I've not seen the team's energy this high in years: that game really helped to restore our confidence."

Brian Lyon, who scored one of the four goals and assisted on another, refused comment, citing pressing shower-related concerns.

"He's been practicing hard," said offensive coach John Copplestone, who was a feared striker in his own day. "We all have. This group we've been drawn into - we like to see it not as a setback but a challenge - is really pushing everyone to give all they've got. One hundred and fifteen per cent."

The Ians will need all they can get going into Rejistania. Be sure to tune into the IanCorp wireless broadcast, with Joesph Wright and Brian Park. That's at eleven on the East Shield, ten on the West Shield!

Bedistan

03-05-2004, 23:07

The Bedistan Sports Digest

Lions Remain Unstoppable
Start off with three wins; surely more to come

Paul Smith in Dennisov for Dennisov 0 - 1 Bedistan

Ah, Dennisov. The frequent bane of Bedistan Lions fans every four years in World Cup qualifying. There is perhaps no other opponent that we know better. So of course, manager Johnny Lewis knows exactly what he needs to do to win in Dennisov. And his plan worked today.

Defense was the name of the game, and luckily for the visitors, goalkeeper Terry Delk seems to have found his groove at last. Combined with the veteran defensive line of Greenwell, Matz, Hockensmith, and Brew, he's not likely to allow opposing teams to steal any of our allotted three points per game any time soon. Oh, the Dennish fought today, and they fought quite ferociously, managing an incredible seventeen corner kicks. Thanks to the Lions' defense, though, not one of those could be converted into a goal. As usual, Gil Vu and Karen Neighbors were doing their thing on the front line, but surprisingly it would not be either of those players who would score the match's only goal. That honor went to the always offensive-minded central midfielder Morris McGarity, who bravely took a shot from 25 yards that ended up being spot on, going straight into the lower right corner of the net midway through the first half.

With our win and Dennisov's loss, the Lions and Belmorian Scandinavia move up to joint second place in Group 6, with Bedistan coming out ahead because it comes just that tiny bit earlier in the alphabet. Tadjikistan also continues its winning streak and retains the top position in the group. We'll have to watch out when we play them away on matchday 5. Our next match is back at Parker National against the aforementioned Scandinavians.

Final score:
Dennisov 0
Bedistan 1 (McGarity 26)

---------------------------

[OOC: There's no way I'm going to try to log on with a puppet right now, because the forums seem to be even worse than usual. So just pretend. :D]

Da Deor den Tinçitana
The Tingitana Daily

Tred Guanos!
Three Wins!

REPIDO KENAL (RAPTOR CLAW) -- Totally defying the odds, the Tingitana Camels have successfully won their first three World Cup XIV qualifying matches! Raptor Claw was the most recent nation to fall to the Camels, and once again it was by the score of 2-1. This has been an incredible performance so far for a nation in its first Cup qualifiers, and many are wondering how long it will last. But for now, let us focus on the present, with our 3-0-0 record and second place in Group 8 behind Dance 2 Revolution. Life is good.

Final score:
Tingitana 2 (I'd tell you who, but I can't get to my own roster page :oops:)
Raptor Claw 1

Bedistan

03-05-2004, 23:08

The Bedistan Football Association would like to remind you all not to delete your double posts! ;)

Bedistan

03-05-2004, 23:09

*assassinates the forum*

Eauz

04-05-2004, 00:07

Walking in the streets of Zuka

Fan1: I can't wait to get my ticket for tonights match against the Weegies. We have always had a problem winning against them, but I feel that our team coming of of two very close matches, could have the heart to win tonight

Fan2: Yeh, they could win, but ever since they won that stupid cup, they have sucked it up. Even though they are ranked #1, they are not winning the matches that they should win.

arrived at ticket master

Fan1: Two Low level tickets for tonights match please.

TicketMaster: (sleeping, holding a bottle of beer in his hands)... uhh...wha... err... whatcha say there?

Fan1: two tickets low level.

Ticketmaster: Wha? Oh, I forgot there was a match tonight, I guess most people forgot too, because we have only sold 40 in total.

Fan2: Fourty!?! It's only an hour to the match

Ticketmaster: Yep... so you want to watch it?

Fan1: Uhhh... well maybe we will buy advanced tickets for the Brazillico match.

Ticketmaster: Sold out

Fan1/Fan2: F*ck!!!

Fan1: Oh, I don't care, I don't want to watch Les Bleus play anymore. Can't win or anything. And as for that Brazillico match, Brazillico is over rated.

Fan2: damn, well lets go...

Ticketmaster: (coughing) hey! bah... (takes a drink) go... go check out... some theatre... like da... "The Lion Queen", sweeeeeeeeeet

Fan1: Righ...

Fan2: Ahh lets get out of this f*cked place

later the two fans are watching "The Lion Queen"

Where da F*ck are all the fans!!!!

Eauz

04-05-2004, 00:07

The Eauz Government would like to remind everyone NOT to delete double/triple/etc... posts.

Snub Nose 38

04-05-2004, 00:56

The Remington County Record

Hooligan Cheerleades NOT Arrested?
Sten Lauren D'Order

In an extremely unusual turn of events, the Hooligan Cheerleaders attended todays match, "entertained" at the half, and were not arrested.

After an exciting 45 minutes of football, which left the match tied at 0 to 0, the Hooligan Cheerleaders took to the pitch enthusiastically, forming up in their now familiar "38" formation. Resplendent in brand new kevlar cheerleader kit, they began their cheer. It went something like this:

"Hooligans, Hooligans, Hip Hooray!!
The Hooligans are out to win today!!
Out they come to meet their foe,
the action on the pitch moving to and fro.
...er...um...thptftt...urk...(silence)..."

The fans, from both sides, milled around aimlessly, carrying a wide variety of rotten vegetation and the odd basketball, monkey wrench, monkey, laundry basket (complete with dirty laundry), the obligatory goat, and a varietey of small kitchen appliances. They were, well, boggled, one guesses.

No opening to start the traditional vegetable toss. No insulting name calling. No provocation. Frustrated, the fans began tossing their "ammo" at one another - and stadium security hauled them away.

Meanwhile, on the pitch, the Hooligan Cheerleaders stood dumbfounded and silent. After a bit they were gently lead off the field and down to their locker room, where this reporter was waiting for them.

"What happened?" I asked, "You just froze. What happened?"

"Well...ya see," replied their captain, Milly Ped, "It just suddenly occured to us - when the opponents name is "Halfassed"...well, what do you do with that? They come pre-insulted. It just kind of took the wind right out of our sails."

The upside, the Cheerleaders got to go out to dinner - something they've never done before following a match, as in the past they've always been busy being "booked" and jailed.

Oh, yes - the scoreline. Halfassedstates 0 - Snub Nose 38 Hooligans 1 (goal in the 73rd minute by 2nd half substitute midfielder Waldo). Halfassedstates received one yellow in the match, the Hooligans three.

Tanah Burung

04-05-2004, 03:50

We win again. Yay!you wanna expand on that a little...? :wink:

It's Hemingwayesque. Yay!

---

POST-GAME REPORT, WITH JACK McMURDO

Jack: Today's broadcast from Matebian Stadium is brought to you by the cathedral fig tree, most majestic of the rain forest giants. Fig?

Cathedral fig tree: *rustles*

Jack: Wise words, figgy. Well, that was a doozy of a match, eh? The Orange-Blues from Rejistania. If memory serves, their record against Tanah Burung going into today's match was 0-4. Can we get a check on that?

Off-stage voice: No!

Jack: Fig-a-roonie?

Cathedral fig tree: ....

Jack: Can we get a livelier tree in here, please? Now, here's a clip from an earlier interview i did with Crocs captain Rashid Nazir.

Nazir: ... and stay off! Jerk.

Jack: Nazir notched his first goal of the qualifiers off a corner by Budiardjo earlier to put the Crocs ahead. But Rejistania got one back almost immediately, taking the wind out of the fans.

Talking cathedral fig tree: Too many curried eel with their Stout Lout, i figger.

Jack: Hey, that's more like it! Thanks for your comment, fig-a-dee-doo-dah, but you're full of it. Eel is not served in Matebian.

Talking cathedral fig tree: Ooh, come over here and say that.

Jack: Make me.

Talking cathedral fig tree: Can't get no respect.

Jack: That's been the refrain for five years now by Crocs 'keeper Andi Mallarageng, who's managed a solid record in net. He was stellar today in stonewalling an impressive Rejistanian attack. And yet his name is almost never mentioned in the press. Why do you think that is, figster?

Talking cathedral fig tree: They can't spell his name.

Jack: You're full of it. And the Crocs were full of beans today, especially top scorer Maria Miskita, who got the winner today. We'll be bringing you an exclusive report later on what's in Maria's recycling bin.

Total n Utter Insanity

04-05-2004, 04:03

Total n Utter Insanity

04-05-2004, 04:04

Total n Utter Insanity

04-05-2004, 04:04

Part Four of the history of TnUI has been postponed due to AS kicking action.

TnUI condemn AS to ultimate humiliation

TnUI managed for the first time in 3 attempts to crush the ASholes. It seems only half of the team was allowed into TnUI, due to forged paperwork, driving an unroadworthy vehicle and possession of class A, B, C and D grade drugs. Still that didn't stop the match going ahead as planned. The 5 ASholes couldn't hold out for long. Within the first 5 minutes TnUI were already 3-0 up. Bored, they decided to taunt the ASholes and have a kickabout for the final 85. It ended TnUI 3 AS 0.

Vilita

04-05-2004, 06:08

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/ao/md9o1.gif

...must...

Vilita

04-05-2004, 06:09

...resist...

Vilita

04-05-2004, 06:09

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/ao/goal.gif

...deleting...

Vilita

04-05-2004, 06:09

...double...

Vilita

04-05-2004, 06:09

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/ao/md9o.gif

...and 3, 4, 5, 6 etc....

Vilita

04-05-2004, 06:09

...posts...

Vilita

04-05-2004, 06:09

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/ao/vn.gif

Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) 3 - 1 Crystilakere

(Kecker 22, Salomón 33, Banda 67 ) :: ( Kilpter 49 )

Regional Leaders Collide in WCQ XIV

The Colony of Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) and The Armed Republic of Crystilakere (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=crystilakere), Founder and Delegate of the Atlantian Oceania (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/18079/page=display_region/region=atlantian_oceania) region, respectively, have tonight competed head to head in Group 4 of the World Cup 14 Qualifying Stage. This is the first time two members of the Atlantian Oceania (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/18079/page=display_region/region=atlantian_oceania) region have faced it's other on the NationStates stage. The match, held in Crystilakere, drew the biggest crowd ever for a sporting event in the Atlantian Oceania (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/18079/page=display_region/region=atlantian_oceania) region. The mountainside coast along the east end of the National Stadium in Crystilakere alone held 35,000+, with the rest of the stadium packed to a 40,000 Capacity crowd for this first ever clash of regional powers.

Goals from Santo Kecker, Germán Salomón and Callum Banda extended Vilita's unbeaten run to three matches and brought Crystilakere crashing back down to earth after some promising results

Almost 25,000 Vilita fans made the half-hour flight to the southern peninsula of Crystilakere to swell an already immense crowd, officially at under 60,000; more likely closer to 80,000 - and they went home happy after the Jungle Cats held off a second-half fightback from Crystals, inspired by a goal from Kristofer Kilpter.

Jungle Cats captain Kecker put Vilita ahead with a right-foot volley on 22 minutes after Salomón tested the Crystilakere goalkeeper from Nigel Chapman's chip.

Salomón then forced the keeper to save with his legs from three yards out, before making amends with a near-post header from Kecker's touchline pull-back which doubled the lead in the 33rd minute.

The Crystals were all at sea defensively, and their manager must have been ruing his decision to scrap the ultra-defensive formation which helped pull off that first win ever at Ianisle, and the draw against Praying2God.

They grabbed a lifeline in the 49th minute when defender Kilpter rose unchallenged to head home a free-kick from eight yards out.

But Banda restored the two-goal cushion with his first of the campaign on 67 minutes. A Crystilakere defender headed a Vilita corner back against his own crossbar, where Banda was lurking for the easiest of tap-ins - and moments later Salomón struck the upright from Kecker's cross.

Crystilakere would not give in, and were denied by a goalline clearance from Chapman at a corner.

But Vilita were showing no mercy, and Banda could have made it four with a late header he put just wide.

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Bookings: Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) - none; Crystilakere - none .

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http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/crystilakere.jpgCrystilakere
Crystilakere is a long standing ally of the Colony of Vilita. Together, they have shared the Founder and Delegate roles in the Atlantian Oceania region almost since it's inception some time ago. However, on the sporting stage, they are fierce rivals. The Vilitans have had the upper hand in recent years, as their current World ranking shows, However when these two sides step out on the pitch, whats on paper stays on paper, and it becomes a classic battle royale between two regional powers with only one goal in mind, defeating their arch sporting rivals.

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GROUP 4 MD4 Results:

GROUP 4
Ineptia 2 - 2 Hawcoat
Crystalakere 1 - 3 Vilita
Danilotown 2 - 0 Praying2God
Rejistania 2 - 2 Iansisle
Sqournshelous 1 - 1 Tanah Burung

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Current Group 4 Standings:

[code:1:cedf56c3d6]
GROUP 4 P W D L GF GA GD Pts

Tanah Burung 4 3 1 0 11 4 +7 10
Sqournshelous 4 2 2 0 10 2 +8 8
Vilita 4 2 1 1 6 4 +2 7
----
Praying2God 4 2 1 1 5 4 +1 7
Iansisle 4 1 2 1 9 7 +2 5
Rejistania 4 1 1 2 6 6 0 4
Crystilakere 4 1 1 2 5 9 -4 4
Hawcoat 4 0 3 1 3 5 -2 3
Danilotown 4 1 0 3 4 14 -10 3
Ineptia 4 0 2 2 1 5 -4 2

[/code:1:cedf56c3d6]

Return To Group 4 Information Page (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3106886#3106886)

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M01:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [2] Praying2God <- [Match Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3111724#3111724)]
M02:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [0] Ineptia <- [Match Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3117831#31)]
M03:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [1] Hawcoat [Match Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3122533#31)]
M04:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [3] - [1] Crystilakere <- [Match Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3125618#31)]

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif
The Colony of Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) Jungle Cats will be looking to qualify for the World Cup finals in their second attempt after failing to do so in WCQ XIII. The Jungle Cats are currently undefeated in the last 6 Atlantian Oceania (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_region/region=atlantian_oceania) Regional championships, and look poised to add to that total in the upcoming Atlantian Oceania (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_region/region=atlantian_oceania) Olympic games. Their squad will consist of mostly young stars from the National league, with a few experienced veterans, from the days before baseball was outlawed in the Nation, to guide them on their way to Glory.

Rejistania

04-05-2004, 06:12

From the KaMaRi Update:
History repeating
Again the Orange-Blues only could draw against the Iansisle Ians. In a match that could be described as "heven kalesa sir heven tekne" (city class instead of world class), at least from he side of the Orange-Blues, the team could be happy to at least get one point.

The match started slowly and defensiv the Orange-Blues played their kmnown defensive System Imdila, but with less success than before. Truman'he and Lyon'he could outsmart the Orange-Blue defense far too easy when Truman'he archieved the 0-1. The Orange-Blue's had a good amount of luck which prevented an even higher lead in the first minutes. The rest of th first half saw some chances for the Orange-Blues and several chances for the Ians. In the 30th minute, only Daki'he's quick reaction prevented the 2:0. the first half ended 0:1. In the second half, Takil'he made some substitutions: Y'he replaced Mata Koleni, Kansu Ji replaced Inkil Xika~o and Ita Syku replaced Hana Yla. Those were no tactical substitutions, Takil'he just wanted to mak clear for the underarchieving players, that no place in the team is guaranteed. Despite that, or maybe even because of that, the Ians doubled the lead 4 minutes after tha start of the second half. The System Hangila of Iansisle had less chances in the second half since the strategy seemed to work. The Orange-Blues even had some really good chances and could capitalize one in the 56th minute. A highly controversal free kick in the 79th minute, which the referee awarded led to the final score of 2:2 which is flattening for the former world champions. Currently The Orange-Blues are sixth in the group table.

In other news did the holographic rejistanian-all-star-team defeat H2SR (Heven xi'het sekhika rejistaniha=second rejistanian soccer league) team Siril Salan 3:1.
The result:
Rejistania 2 (Syliju 56th, Y 79th)
Iansisle 2 (Truman 5th, Lyon 49th)

Lars Larsson and Nils Nilsson are watching TV: the match of Bedistan vs The Scandinavians has nearly ended. the score is 3:0.

LL: I have told you. Nothing is good about becoming a rejistanian protectorate.

NN: Why in the name of Taderi are you mentioning that?

LL: 'in the name of Taderi' where did you get that sentence from?

NN: From a rejis TV show.

LL: Bah! These Rejistanians are trying to infect us with their culture. These TV shows are just the beginning

NN: Well, I don't mind. We were always under foreign goverment. it's just replacing the Belmorian fragments of culture by rejistanian ones

LL: Well, I won't agree to that.

NN: Anyway: Why in the name of Taderi are you again starting that discussion?

LL: Because, you see how we are losing!

NN: And then you blame the Rejistanians?

LL: Who is the coach?

NN: Ji I Kansu.

LL: See?

NN: You mean it is Ji's fault?

LL: Of course! His tactics are totally bullsh*t!

NN: The problem is that the team has no good players. All good players tried to get Belmorian citizenship, played in the BPL, in the belmorian national team - or in Audioslavia!

LL: Yeah! That too! But I can tell you. Any good players will now try to get Rejistanian citizenship. The Orange-Blues are more interesting than our team.

NN: Maybe rather the other way around, the Orange-Blues played not very good in the last matches.

LL: Anysway, the Rejistanians really... (at this time, Sykusson archieves the 3-1)... rock!

Liverpool England

04-05-2004, 06:13

[OOC to Vilita: :shock: ]
IC RP will come together with day 5 RP due to lack of time.

Let us also note the automatic 80-point penalty for G Bugles in Group 2 due to ceasing through mod intervention.

Vilita

04-05-2004, 06:15

From the KaMaRi Update:
History repeating
(RP to come, but I noticed that the forums are awful when I want to write it so I reserve my spot and can later edit and don't have to fear DPs)

ooc/ir - yea don't worry i took care of everyone's dp's for the day

Turnia

04-05-2004, 06:29

Turnia City Tribune

Dragons Drop to 0-4-0 After Game 4 Loss

Editorial by Rusty Shacklford

I may end up becoming the most unpopular person in Turnia. We shall see. However, I must lend my expert opinion on the Dragons World Cup qualifying, which has turned into a debacle.

Turnia dropped Game 4 2-3 to the Winged Animals and can all but kiss their chances goodbye. It is obvious to my eye that the entire team was unprepared for what was to come. In fact, I cannot lay blame on a single person or area. Sure, they have shown a lot of heart, but heart alone will not advance a team. Preparation and skill does. Granted, my detractors will say that the team just lacks experience, it is their first World Cup qualifying after all. True. Just calling it like I see it. This team is in way over it's head.

The bar boobs can yell and scream all they want, but this team needs some tough love. A 0-4-0 start is unacceptable in my humble opinion. Changes need to be made and it all starts at the top. Love me or hate me, this is one well the Dragons will not climb out of.

***Editor's Note: After submiting this Op/Ed piece, Mr. Shacklford was terminated from the Tribune and alarmingly has not been seen or heard from since.

Vilita

04-05-2004, 06:38

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/ao/vn.gif

Jungle Cats in unfamiliar territory

The Colony of Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/target=display_nation/nation=vilita) Jungle Cats find themselves in an unfamiliar position following the 4th day of qualification for WC XIV. After defeating Atlantian Oceania (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/18079/page=display_region/region=atlantian_oceania) regional rivals Crystilakere, Vilita's 2-1-1 record, and superior goal differential, has found them in the Top 3 of their qualifying group for the first time ever. Surely they will be left to rue the points dropped at Hawcoat and Praying2God, with the tough string of fixtures ahead of them, however head coach Helmut Vilkaus admitted that the players, as well as himself, were enjoying the view from the top. Vilkaus is hoping to catch Rejistania in their current break of form to produce what would be the greatest result in the history of Vilita sport.

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GROUP 4 MD4 Results:

Ineptia 2 - 2 Hawcoat
Crystalakere 1 - 3 Vilita
Danilotown 2 - 0 Praying2God
Rejistania 2 - 2 Iansisle
Sqournshelous 1 - 1 Tanah Burung

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Current Group 4 Standings:

[code:1:700202a4dd]
GROUP 4 P W D L GF GA GD Pts

Tanah Burung 4 3 1 0 11 4 +7 10
Sqournshelous 4 2 2 0 10 2 +8 8
Vilita 4 2 1 1 6 4 +2 7
----
Praying2God 4 2 1 1 5 4 +1 7
Iansisle 4 1 2 1 9 7 +2 5
Rejistania 4 1 1 2 6 6 0 4
Crystilakere 4 1 1 2 5 9 -4 4
Hawcoat 4 0 3 1 3 5 -2 3
Danilotown 4 1 0 3 4 14 -10 3
Ineptia 4 0 2 2 1 5 -4 2

[/code:1:700202a4dd]

Return To Group 4 Information Page (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3106886#3106886)

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M01:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [2] Praying2God <- [Match Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3111724#3111724)]
M02:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [0] Ineptia <- [Match Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3117831#31)]
M03:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [1] Hawcoat [Match Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3122533#31)]
M04:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [3] - [1] Crystilakere <- [Match Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3125618#31)]

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif
The Colony of Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) Jungle Cats will be looking to qualify for the World Cup finals in their second attempt after failing to do so in WCQ XIII. The Jungle Cats are currently undefeated in the last 6 Atlantian Oceania (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_region/region=atlantian_oceania) Regional championships, and look poised to add to that total in the upcoming Atlantian Oceania (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_region/region=atlantian_oceania) Olympic games. Their squad will consist of mostly young stars from the National league, with a few experienced veterans, from the days before baseball was outlawed in the Nation, to guide them on their way to Glory.

04-05-2004, 06:56

COACH OUTRAGED AT LOSS, TEAM NOT ALLOWED TO SPEAK TO MEDIA AGAIN

Again, the Warriors players were not allowed to talk to the media after their match. This time their coach had an even better reason to be outraged, as they had been heavily upset 0-2 by Danilotown, who had no business even being in the match. It didn't help that several Warriors players were dealing a flu-like virus that they picked up after arriving in Danilotown. Officials are investigating that link. This is not a good time for the Warriors to be struggling as their next three matches are vs. Rejistania, at Sqournshelous, and vs. Tanah Burung. Fortunately, two of those three are at home, and the Warriors generally are competitive against the top teams in their group. They seem to have a problem with playing down to the opposition though, and that proved costly today.

Magnus Valerius

04-05-2004, 07:47

The Valerian Voice
Things Looking Bad For The Boyars

Even though the Boyars were playing in familiar territory on Matchday 3, the game was horrid. The Emperor, Alexander II, even was in attendance, and he was seen with disappointed gazes with the team. The defense held up on both sides for the entire game, but then, the Boyar defense line cracked. Lennon Marx won 0-1, and it had humiliated the emperor, for he had his hopes high for his new team.

The Boyar's bad luck had not run out after Day 3. Game 4 proved to be a loss as well. The Boyars offence exploded in the good sense, easily making two goals in the early half of the game. Yet, the Valerian defence was a horrid array, and The Fivefold Star toasted Valeria 3 - 2. It was looking pretty bleak when the new star player, Midfielder Josh Kouzoff, fell and sprained his ankle 20 minutes before the game was finished. The Valerian defense soon was picked apart, and The Fivefold Star scored two goals that finished the Boyars.

We all hope that we won't leave the WC as a mediocre team here at the Valerian Voice. The next game versus Makongo-Wodimalongo will take place here at the home of the Boyars, in Metaxas, in the Imperial Dome.

The Valerian Boyars World Cup XIV Progress Chart

Day 1: Lovisa v. Magnus Valerius: T 2 - 2
Day 2: Dead Man v. Magnus Valerius: T 1 - 1
Day 3: Magnus Valerius v. Lennon Marx: L 0 - 1
Day 4: The Fivefold Star v. Magnus Valerius: L 3 - 2
Day 5: Magnus Valerius v. Makongo-Wodimalongo:
Day 6: Commerce Heights v. Magnus Valerius:
Day 7: Magnus Valerius v. Svecia:
Day 8: Oddslavo v. Magnus Valerius:
Day 9: Magnus Valerius v. Stalag 5:

Venues for Matchday 5 Home
Stadium: The Imperial Dome
Location: Metaxas, Metaxas, Magnus Valerius
Seating Capacity: 71,000

The Imperial Dome is the second largest stadium in Magnus Valerius, second only to the Vedii Dome in Valerius Prime. The stadium overlooks the sea upon the cliff in which the city of Metaxas is settled upon. Metaxas is an ancient city, which had established a powerful kingdom on the southern King William Coast when Athens of Greece still had a king (800 BC). The dome itself is of new architecture that was acquired during the takeover of New-Transylvania; the city of Metaxas is enjoyable for any tourist or visitor, so expect traffic jams when foreigners flock for tomorrow's game. Here, The Boyars will host Makongo-Wodimalongo tomorrow. Tickets are selling fast.

Giant Zucchini

04-05-2004, 09:32

It's De Derby Day!

Once again, the once-mighty zucchinis face their bogey team, their regional rivals One Red Dot. One Red Dot played in their trademark 3-3-4 formation, while the Zucchinis, desperate for a win against their bitter rivals, played an unconventional 3-6-1 formation, with Yew Sei Biu playing as the lone striker.

The Zucchinis started brightly, Urk getting his shot on target palmed away by Harper, Yew Sei Biu's rebound rebounded off the far post and into the grateful hands of Harper.

Kerrnigit got in the act, sprinting down the right flank and curling in a beauty of a cross, but Yew Sei Biu's header skimmed the top of the crossbar.

Giant Zucchini once again had the final word in the first half, but Yew Sei Biu's thumping shot towards the bottom corner was palmed beyond the post by a busy Harper.

The second half started off much like the first, the Zucchinis bombarding the One Red Dot box. Once again, Kerrnigit's dangerous crosses causing problems in the One Red Dot defence. Yew Sei Biu headed a ball towards the bottom far corner, but Harper leapt and palmed the ball over the crossbar.

The Zucchinis were wreaking havoc on the right flank, Kerrnigit's blistering curler from outside the area drawing a fantastic reflex save from Harper.

Despite the dominance of the Zucchinis, One Red Dot had the last laugh, Zhong Ming-Wei latching on to Zhong Ming-Zhi's pass and slotting it under the body of the onrushing Plaat for a last-gasp winner. This means that the Zucchinis have not won their regional rivals since World Cup 8. The Zucchinis will be looking to overturn that in the return leg in One Red Dot.

NEWI Cefn Druids

04-05-2004, 09:51

OOC:

IC RP will come together with day 5 RP due to lack of time.

Same here.

Let us also note the automatic 80-point penalty for G Bugles in Group 2 due to ceasing through mod intervention.

After all the support we gave them? The f*****s!

Anyway, this was written last Friday IRL, but couldn't be posted due to family circumstances which meant rushing off 300 miles to London at about five minutes notice. Not fun. Not cheap.

IC:

The Daily Druid

WORLD CUP 14 DRAW MADE
Wayne Ottgunn-Irwin seems confident of another failure.

The draw for qualifying for World Cup 14 was made today, with the Druids being drawn into Group 3 on this occasion with some names that we have seen before and some we... well, haven't. The Druids are, surprisingly, the fourth highest ranked team in the group, and in the top fifty in the world (a mistake, surely? - ed.) for the first time in their history. However, it seems unlikely that they will challenge for qualification, with three nations who are vastly superior to the Druids, bogey team The Redavic Union and some potentially good new teams in the group, it doesn't look good for Druid qualification again.

So without further ado, here's The Daily Druid view of how qualifying will turn out...

Halfassedstates have played the Druids twice before, with the two games bring one victory each for the two teams. The Druids' victory at home to the hurricanes (who weren't so called at the time) was considered a major upset at the time, even more than it would be now. However, a repeat of such a result seems unlikely.

The Druids have never come up against Ravenspire, and probably won't enjoy it on this occasion. Though they went a bit iffy a few years ago (though nothing on Druid proportions), they are still a force to be reckoned with, being ranked in the top 30 in the world. Expect them to have too much for the Druids. Twice.

Snub Nose 38 played a ghost team last time around, but after a few problems with them not being able to kick the ball properly, it seems unlikely that such a team will be taking to the field this time around. Which is a shame, because the Druids often struggle to kick the ball properly too. Which means that the Hooligans will run away with games, forcing the Druids to chase after them, and making me apologise for the complete lack of humour in the last sentence. Sorry.

The Redavic Union are considered something of a bogey team in NEWI Cefn Druids, after beating the Druids twice during WC12 qualifying. This will give the Union a psychological advantage over the Druids, and will probably lead to them being the better team over the two games.

Pablicosta are the kind of team that are always there but never seem to do anything spectacular, similar to the Union. So six points against the Druids seem like a foregone conclusion, then.

The Evil Umpire will scare the living daylights out of the Druids, due to their unfortunate fear of those in charge of sporting matches. The fear could well lead to at least one draw between the two, with the other match possibly a Druid win, but probably a draw.

Holy lndia should not be confused with Holy India, who took part a couple of world cups ago. This is the logarithmic version, which means they are likely to confuse the less than intelligent Druids with their superior intelligence. Another two close games on the cards.

Tepalguana are another new team I think could do well, though I know precious little about them personally. Expect one win each from the two games.

Finally, Airenguo look to be the whipping boys of the group. So expect them to scrape a draw and a win (or something ridiculous like that) out of the Druids

That group in full...

[code:1:b7f0702ec3]GROUP 3
Halfassedstates (7)
Ravenspire (21)
Snub Nose 38 (33)
NEWI Cefn Druids (48)
The Redavic Union (55)
Pablicosta (76)
The Evil Umpire [Melmond puppet]
Holy lndia [Commerce Heights puppet]
Tepalguana
Airenguo[/code:1:b7f0702ec3]

...and how the Druids will finish? Well, out of 18 games, we think they'll manage seven wins, three draws and eight defeats, matching the 24 points they managed last time around, and finishing in a similar position, around sixth.

Finally good luck to everyone taking part in World Cup 14, but especially to the Druids, as they need it more than most!

OOC: Something more up-to date will turn up soon...

NEWI Cefn Druids

04-05-2004, 10:45

DSR
Druid
Sports
Review

DRUIDS LOOK AT HOME AT HOME
...but fall away away. By Ian Question-Mark.

Four games into the World Cup Qualifying campaign, and we still can't tell whether it will be a good or bad one for the Druids. With a 100% home record from their first two games, scoring seven goals in the process, the Druids look more than capable when they play in The Hole. Even though the games were against two new nations, the new 4-3-3 formation employed by Tim Welsh has led the team to convincing victories.

However, on the road, it has been a different story. After only scraping a draw against the logarithmic tea bag, the Druids went to Halfassedstates for their first real challenge of the campaign. Despite putting in a brave effort, the better team won the game comfortably 1-0, with a goal from Sherwood midway through the second half.

However inconsistant the Druids have been, the same can be said for six of the teams in the group. While teh Snub Nose Hooligans seem to be running away with it at the moment, five points clear of the chasing pack after only four games, the chasing pack, led by the Druids on goal difference, is close, with just one point seperating second and sixth. If it stays like this, we're in for one hell of a campaign!

Results and table so far:
NEWI Cefn Druids 4-0 The Evil Umpire
Holy lndia 2-2 NEWI Cefn Druids
NEWI Cefn Druids 3-1 Teplaguana
Halfassedstates 1-0 NEWI Cefn Druids

[code:1:223702318c]GROUP 3 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Snub Nose 38 4 4 0 0 10 3 +7 12
NEWI Cefn Druids 4 2 1 1 9 4 +5 7
The Redavic Union 4 2 1 1 9 7 +2 7
Ravenspire 4 2 1 1 4 4 0 7
Pablicosta 4 2 0 2 7 5 +2 6
Halfassedstates 4 2 0 2 3 2 +1 6
The Evil Umpire 4 2 0 2 5 9 -4 6
Airenguo 4 1 0 3 3 7 -4 3
Tepalguana 4 0 2 2 5 8 -3 2
Holy lndia 4 0 1 3 4 10 -6 1[/code:1:223702318c]

The Druids continue their tough run of fixtures with games aginst Ravenspire at The Hole and against Snub Nose 38 at the 38 Special. On current form, the match against the Ravens would seem a close match. Both have had mixed starts, and although you would say that the Ravens would normally win, the Druids performances at The Hole recently mean that this isn't over before a ball has been kicked. Despite this, we'd say that, knowing the Druids, they'll throw away all the hard work they've put in so far, and predict a win for the Ravens. The next match, against the unstoppable Hooligans, is away, so we have no chance. Expect a score of something like Hooligans 4 Druids 0.

Just out of (lack of) interest, the Druid top scorers so far...

[code:1:223702318c]Greaves 3
Belmore 2
Frederiksson 2
Gessemschmitthaagen-Po 1
Kallins 1[/code:1:223702318c]

Cockbill Street

04-05-2004, 11:52

Ankh-Morpork C-mail
Cockbill Street Department

Dropping With Stone
He Goes and Team Loses

Rikki Stone, the 20-year-old striker from Chesham, seems to have cursed the team. Now that he has left, Cockbill Street seem to be lacking some creative force in the attack, and that caused the team great problems today.

Kaze Progressa was, in fact, the better team - no denying that. However, Cockbill Street had their chances, and with a little bit more luck, they should have drawn the match. Especially Alec Peterson's header, which was magnificently saved by Esitra Ritahau on the line after twenty-eight minutes, could have brought an equaliser and hope for Cockbill Street. Before that, though, Gariuz Baulinta had frustrated the Streetian defense with a couple of fantastic raids, one of which was converted by himself as he smashed one into the roof of the net over Robbie Curbishley.

Despite the early setback, the match continued to be offensive and entertaining. Chances at both ends were rife, and perhaps Kaze Progressa should have led 2-0 by half-time - but Mowgi Taunilai blasted the shot from seven metres over the bar.

In the second half, Cockbill Street were forced to do some substutions as both Einari Einarsson and Helen Carpenter were injured. Einarsson will sit out for the next two games, as he suffered a groin strain, while Carpenter will be back for the next match against Gaddland.

The substitutes, Tomas Rogers and Dylan Thompson, were not up to the same standard as those they replaced. Rogers made a huge blunder when he allowed the Progressan left-winger, Azilkov, to pass him with a simple left-right feint. Azilkov then progressed to cross in to Mowgi Taunilai, and only Niall Johnson's header on the line saved the 0-1 scoreline.

Dylan Thompson, on the other hand, looked uncertain and not very happy about life. He made a couple of very silly passes - one of which led up to the 0-2 attack. To be fair, though, it was a great attack down the left side from Azilkov again, who then sliced into the penalty area, passed backwards, and Eaka Taili-Arant hit it on the volley for 2-0.

Cockbill Street, distraught by this final setback, were forced to defend themselves for the last minutes. Luckily, the two hardest matches have already been played, and Cockbill Street are looking very solid for third place.

Cockbill Street 0
Curbishley 5 – Stonelover 6 (Goldminer on 89), Carpenter 5 (Rogers on 57), Johnson 6, Trucker 5 – Jones 4, H Axewielder 5, Einarsson 5 (Thompson on 74) – Peterson 6, Ball 4, Quier 5.

Kaze Progressa 2 (Baulinta 19, Taili-Arant 86)
Ritahau - Winasoa, Frilltanpa, Cotaga - Azilkov, Lavett, Taili-Arant, Pilnaj - Baulinta - Taunilai, Weseydal

Jeruselem

04-05-2004, 14:26

Jeruselem Government News

Shang-Ti revels in rain to sink Crusaders

In the game against Shang-Ti, it rained heavily soaking the pitch. Jeruselem who are effectively at home in the dry did not get into their rhythm and the Shang-Ti played football like ducks in the mud looked at home.

The poor old Jeruselem keeper Abdulla had trouble all game with wet ball and the Chinese took advantage scoring 4 goals in the wet. The wet pitch did not suit the Jeruselem style of play with their passes and fast game not suited to the conditions. Despite this they managed 2 goals as even the Shang-Ti keeper had trouble holding into the round bar-of-soap at times.

GROUP 9
The mighty spurs 4 - 2 Nanakaland
Clearwater 2 - 1 Wella
Shang-Ti 4 - 2 Jeruselem
Gesamtkuntswerk 2 - 0 Aquilla
Giant Zucchini 0 - 1 One Red Dot

The Evil Umpire

04-05-2004, 14:40

We have lost. Darn Airenguo!

Snub Nose 38

04-05-2004, 14:53

*we are in the game room on the second floor of the east wing of the guest house on the expansive estate of the minister of athletics, olympics, and alcoholic beverages. the minister, and someone known only as “margaret”, are watching the hooligans - today’s qualifying match – on television. the mansion itself is being completely redecorated, and in the interim the minister and his guests are making do in the guest house. it’s half time, and we’ve gone to commercials*

Lemming Corporation of Lemmitania: "State-owned since forever, it seems."
Makers of the famed Electric Lemming Chickenizer, the ChickA-Live Electric Chicken Deboner and the ELC Roadkill Rejuvenator!

And now, a word from our sponsors, "ChicA-Live Electric Chicken Deboner"

Voiceover: Has this ever happened to you?
Mom: What would you like for lunch, Junior?
Junior: How ‘bout making fried chicken bones, Mom?
Mom: Oh, I would, dear, but that’d kill the chicken. And you know how your father loves the chicken. It’s like a dog to him.
Junior: Darn.
Chicken: Cluck cluck!
Voiceover: Well, it doesn’t have to happen any more! Because now there’s an easy-to-use product that will take the bones right out of that chicken—without killing it!
Junior: Hey, look! Whats’ that on the kitchen shelf?
Mom: Why, it’s the ChicA-Live Electric Chicken Deboner. I’d forgotten we had that.
Junior: Let’s try it out!
Mom: All right. Let’s see, we just insert this organe tube into the chicken’s beak…
Chicken: (muffled clucking)
Mom: Then we just press the big red button.
Junior: Can I do it?
Mom: Why not?
Chicken: (muffled shriek)
Junior: Wow! That’s cool!
Mom: I’ve never seen such an efficient chicken deboning—and it did it without even killing the chicken!
Chicken: Gurgle.
Junior: But did it hurt the chicken? I heard it make a loud noise as its bones were sucked out.
Mom: No, I don’t think so. It sounded to me like a screech of orgasmic pleasure.
Junior: Wow!
Voiceover: ChicA-Live… the most efficient electric tool for deboning a chicken without killing it. Available in most fine stores for under twenty lemmings. Not to be used on non-chicken animals or humans.

*halfway through the commercial, margaret leaps to her feet, a begins to pace back and forth, eyes glued to the screen, a manic expression contorting her face. as the commercial ends*

- Gotta have one! Gotta get one! Need one!
- Margaret…?
- Gotta have one! Get me one! Gotta have a chicky debonnin’ thingy!
- But, Margaret, you…
- GET ME A CHICKY DEBONNIN’ THINGY!
- What on earth for?
- Debonnin’ chickens.
- But, you don’t debone chickens.
- Gonna.
- What?
- Gonna.
- Gonna what?
- Debone chickens. With the chicky debonnin’ thingy.
- Why would you debone…
- GET ME A CHICKY DEBONNIN’ THINGY!!
- Calm down, Margaret. Take a deep breath.
- GET ME A CHICKY DEBONNIN’ THINGY!!!
- …Okay…okay…I’ll get you a ChicA-Live Electric Chicken Deboner.
- Is that the chicky debonnin’ thingy?
- Yes, that’s the “chicky debonnin’ thingy.”
- Cool!
- Um…are you…feeling better?
- Fine. I’m fine. I just…sort of…well…I hadda have one.
- Why?
- I dunno. But…well…I need one. Very much.
- ‘Sall right. We’ll get you one right away.
- One what?
- A ChicA-Live Electric Chicken Deboner.
- Why on earth would I want one of them?
- …

*the commercial being over, the scene switches back to the stadium announcer.*

Another exciting Hooligan match here in Ravenspire, tied at 1 goal apiece at the half. We’ll be set to start the second half in just a few minutes, but first some important information from another of our sponsors.

*not really being interested in commercials, we decide to sneak down to the kitchen for a snack – perhaps some cold chicken*

To be continued...

Tadjikistan

04-05-2004, 15:56

http://www.internews.tj/russian/images/newlogo1.gif

Defeat!

Bobbystan - It was a sad day in Dushanbe today, as Tadjikistan failed to get past Bobbystan, an opponent that isnt even in the world ranking. It all started in the 32th minute when Aleinikov failed to stop a Bobbystani attacker, and Bogdanov was to late to catch the ball. Tadjikistans coach Yakir was not exactly happy with the way things wer going.

Cherniakhovskij, one of the few Tadjik players that played an excellent match evened the score in the 44th minute. He scored from 35m away, the Bobbystani goalkeeper was completely surprised.

In the 72th minute in the second half Belanov tackled a bobbystani attacker from behind and hit him in the legs. As a result, he got a red card and Tadjikistan had to play the remainder of the match with 10 men. The penalty that came with the red card put the 2-1 on the scoreboard for Bobbystan. Tadjikistan, with one man short could do nothing more but defend and wait for thev ref to end the match.

With this bad result the Tadjik team is coming back home and preparing for their next match against Bedistan, probably the thougest opponent in group 6, a good result is necessary to stay in the running for a qualification.

[code:1:47a887aea3]
GROUP 6 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Bedistan 4 4 0 0 8 3 +5 12
Kerla 4 3 0 1 9 3 +6 9
Tadjikistan 4 3 0 1 9 5 +4 9
Belmorian Scandinavia 4 3 0 1 6 5 +1 9
Aerigia 4 2 0 2 8 8 0 6
Dennisov 4 2 0 2 5 6 -1 6
Intelligent Madness 4 1 0 3 5 7 -2 3
Keyshona 4 1 0 3 5 8 -3 3
Bobbystan 4 1 0 3 4 8 -4 3
Vollmeria 4 0 0 4 5 11 -6 0
[/code:1:47a887aea3]

1: Tadjikistan - Intelligent Madness W 2-1
M2: Aerigia - Tadjikistan W 1-3
M3: Tadjikistan - Keyshona W 3-1
M4: Bobbystan - Tadjikistan L 2-1
M5: Tadjikistan - Bedistan
M6: Kerla - Tadjikistan
M7: Tadjikistan - Dennisov
M8: Belmorian Scandinavia - Tadjikistan
M9: Tadjikistan - Vollmeria
M10: Intelligent Madness - Tadjikistan
M11: Tadjikistan - Aerigia
M12: Keyshona - Tadjikistan
M13: Tadjikistan - Bobbystan
M14: Bedistan - Tadjikistan
M15: Tadjikistan - Kerla
M16: Dennisov - Tadjikistan
M17: Tadjikistan - Belmorian Scandinavia
M18: Vollmeria - Tadjikistan

Lovebug

04-05-2004, 16:42

LOVEBUG DAILY SPORTS REPORT FOR GAME 4

GROUP 8 Results
Lovebug defeated Dadostan 3 to 1 – we moved up to 2nd place just ahead of Spaam our next competitor.
Tingitana defeats Carpet 1 to 0 and remains undefeated in WC14. Carpet falls to 7th place.
ElephantandCastle and Raptor Claw end their match-up in a 2 to 2 tie. Neither team has won a match-up yet in this tournament.
Spaam defeated Alex The Tall 2 to 0. Spaam falls into the number 3 spot while Alex The Tall takes the 6th spot.
The Belmore Family defeats Dance2Revolution 2 to 1 giving the revolution their first loss of the season.

ANNOUNCER: AND NOW HERE’S YOUR LNSNN REPORT WITH LOPAKAKIKA http://www.msnbc.com/onair/Bios/Global/costas_b.jpg & KANIELAPAKELIKA http://espnradio.espn.go.com/i/columnists/patrick_dan_c.jpg…

LOPAKAKIKA – Hello Lovebugians, it’s good to be back this morning, I want to apologize for my behavior during my last broadcast, work should come before play, there is no excuse for falling asleep during the show.

KANIELAPAKELIKA – We’re just glad to have you back. Well folks it was another victory for the Bulldogs last night as they faced Dadostan, ending in another 3 to 1 score.

LOPAKAKIKA – The dogs let Dadostan get ahead early making the first score of the match-up, but would not allow that to happen again.

KANIELAPAKELIKA – It was a great game for the Bulldog’s Jack “The Rabbit” BeNimble http://www.football-rumours.com/images/thomashitzlsperger.jpg who scored twice during the match-up, once during the first half and again early in the second.

LOPAKAKIKA – The game was a mere 2 minutes away from closing when Panda "The Bear" Bamboor http://www.football-rumours.com/images/takahara5.jpg managed to put the nail in Dadostan’s coffin blowing past all defenders to score the teams 3rd goal – coincidentally his 3rd goal in his history of WC play.

KANIELAPAKELIKA – Tonight the Dogs will be at home to face Spaam, perhaps our toughest competitor yet.

LOPAKAKIKA – A friend of mine inside Queen ShyButterfly’s castle informs me that she and the leader of Spaam have been pretty COZY as of late, if you know what I mean :wink: . We’ll see if that has an effect on tonight’s match-up.

KANIELAPAKELIKA – :shock: That certainly is a surprise I had no idea that the two leaders were in contact – I do hope that the team doesn’t get wind of this though. With a win over them tomorrow would securely be in second place, possibly 1st if Tingitana loses their match-up against ElephantandCastle although that is a long shot seeing as they haven’t won a match-up yet.

LOPAKAKIKA – I’m sure it will be an interesting match-up to say the least tomorrow – well that’s all for today’s broadcast – we’ll be back later with the scores from the Spaam match-up.

The Weegies

04-05-2004, 17:29

Place: The Rowdy Clansman, 34 Riga Street, Mackintosh.

We enter a small pub at the far side of Riga Street, Mackintosh's longest street. It's an odd place - there are lots of souveneirs from all over the place hung about the walls; Lemmitania, Snub Nose 38, Brazillico, Spamm, Eauz... the more seasoned World Cup traveller could even recognise a little something "borrowed" from one of the Warnock's Wizards stadiums. The Rowdy Clansman is the Weegie supporters' bar, where the long standing members of the Islander's Army regail the matches they'd seen, and argue about fairly menial stuff. But it's definitely just a Weegie supporters' bar; an unfortunate Belmorian found himself out the back after the fans had learnt the scoreline of one match. Three men are sitting at a table, while a large TV screen that takes over almost an entire wall of the pub is blaring. The pub's always quiet when there's a match on. Another man walks in and goes up to the bar...

Man: Pint'ae yer finest, Ian.
Ian: *sighs* Aye, aye.
Man: Whit is it?
2nd Man: Ye no' heard, Bill?
Bill looks at the dejected faces.
Bill: Aw, naw... how bad is it?
3rd Man: The phrase "shafted" comes tae mind.
Ian hands Bill his drink, and Bill pulls up a seat to go with the other men.
Bill: Score? Or is it sae bad, ah don't want tae ken?
4th Man: 3-0 tae the other lot. Ne'er kennt o' thae lot either.
3rd Man: Just like thae Confederacy, eh, Dave?
Dave: Aye, George. Aye. We have been totally and utterly gubbed.
George: Canned.
2nd Man: Spit up an' crapped oot.
There is a roar from the TV screen. Dunn is on the screen, grinning and running while his teammates congratulate him.
2nd Man: Ah donnay ken whit he's sae happy aboot. We're still gubbed. Ootplayed, ootmanned, ootgunned.
Bill: Ferguson nae back, Phil?
Phil: Naw, but he'll make hee-haw of a difference lookin' at that load.
The whistle blows. Players clap and exchange jersies.
Dave: It's a' o'er.
George: This time just a few week ago, we were a' laughin an smilin aboot how we're dain better than ever.
Ian: Aye, an' now you lot are as happy as Larry.
George: Aye, tae true.
The picture changes to a studio, with various worried-looking pundits.
Phil: Aw, I cannae stick a' this crap at the end now. Ah'm aff.
George: Ah think this is the worst we've e'er played. Have we ever been bottom o' a group?
Phil leaves.
All: See ye, Phil.
Bill: Gies a break, George. Mebby it'll clear. It's early days yet.
Dave: Does this look like clearing?
Bill: Gie the lads a chance, Dave.
George: They've had a' the chances they deserve. 'kin Sartré.
The other two men nod. And drink. And sigh.

Eauz

04-05-2004, 19:22

Le LIBRE

No crowd, no problem

In the fourth match of the qualifying round, Les Bleus were at home against The Weegies who have yet to win a match. Oddly enough, a little over 40 fans showed up to watch the match, with the possibility that the Broadway show “The Lion Queen” was showing. It could have also been because Les Bleus were not playing very well recently, and or has the competitor.

So, even with about 40 fans watching the match, both teams took the match very seriously. The first half brought out a strong Eauz team, possibly looking for a win. Mid-fielder, Rousseau started things off for Les Bleus, only to be stoned by The Weegies keeper. Another attack by Les Bleus brought about another save. Figeu almost scored the first goal of the match, on a free kick, as it sailed over the top of the net. The attacks were there, just nothing was going in. At the other end, Les Bleus defence of the past, showed up, in a strong force. The defence was so strong, that it limited The Weegies to 3 shots on goal. At the 42nd minute of play as mid-fielder Méseu of Les Bleus scored the first goal, putting Les Bleus up 1 – 0 early in the match. The first half would end at 1 – 0, but the excitement would not stop there.

In the second half, The Weegies, frustrated by their poor performance in this qualifying round, tried to put together a strong attack. Les Bleus defence stayed on them, but The Weegies were too strong. One of the Weegies players were knocked down, giving them a free kick. The kick sailed to the left of the net, almost going in. Yeuseuv was very surprised at that kick. The Weegies got the ball back, and tried again, only to be stopped by Yeuseuv. From then, the match would finish off at a 1 – 0 victory for Les Bleus.

Coach’s comments: “Wow, where the hell is everyone? I thought this was a practice match, didn’t realize that this was an actual match. Oh well, anyways, we played well, but I feel that against The Weegies who are struggling at the moment, we could have had more goals, with all the attempts we had. The win though is good for our team, because our moral has been down, being beaten by Brazillico and Europa Britannia in a row.”

The match puts Les Bleus up one position to 5th place and 6 points of a possible total of 12. Les Bleus will now go on the road to face off against EL CID THE HERO, who has been playing well, posting up 3 victories and 1 defeat. A victory though for Les Bleus against EL CID could raise Les Bleus up to 3rd position, and start the climb back to the top. Many have said, “It’s early, Les Bleus are a different team, and have not played together very often.” Though, no matter what occurs, Les Bleus must win the next 5 matches, to stay in the race. The next 5 matches are also against easier, less experienced teams and thus, should have no reason NOT to win.

[code:1:9b97feb64f]
GROUP 10 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Brazillico 4 4 0 0 12 4 8 12
Europa Britannia 4 3 0 1 9 3 6 9
EL CID THE HERO 4 3 0 1 11 6 5 9
The Confederate 4 2 1 1 10 9 1 7
Eauz 4 2 0 2 6 5 1 6
Largent 4 2 0 2 7 9 -2 6
Melmond 4 1 2 1 8 6 2 5
Lallania 4 1 0 3 4 12 -8 3
Oceaice 4 0 1 3 5 10 -5 1
The Weegies 4 0 0 4 2 10 -8 0
[/code:1:9b97feb64f]

Match Day 1: Oceaice @ Eauz W 4 - 2
Match Day 2: Europa Britannia vs Eauz L 1 - 0
Match Day 3: Eauz @ BrazillicoL 1 - 2
Match Day 4: The Weegies @ Eauz W 0 - 1
Match Day 5: Eauz @ EL CID THE HERO
Match Day 6: Melmond @ Eauz
Match Day 7: Eauz @ Largent
Match Day 8: The Confederate @ Eauz
Match Day 9 : Eauz @ Lallania

Match Day 10: Eauz @ Oceaice
Match Day 11: Eauz @ Europa Britannia
Match Day 12: Brazillico @ Eauz
Match Day 13: Eauz @ The Weegies
Match Day 14: EL CID THE HERO @ Eauz
Match Day 15: Eauz @ Melmond
Match Day 16: Largent @ Eauz
Match Day 17: Eauz @ The Confederate
Match Day 18: Lallania @ Eauz

Melmond

04-05-2004, 20:24

Bumpy Country Road
Woes Continue Away From Home As Melmond Blows 3-nil Lead
By Boo Teeful of the Cali Tribune

THE CONFEDERATE—It started as a bright sunny day at Red Dixie Field and Raceway. This mondo stadium which not only hosts football matches, but stock car races as well; was filled by many fans wearing shirts from their favorite sponsors or just scantily clad. The infield, where the football match was held, was quite possibly the most spacious infield yet. The large crowd of 150,000 was separated by the banking of the track in front of them, so the fans don’t really play a factor here. One Melmondian who made the trip was quoted of saying, “These seats blow exhaust pipe!”
Melmond was coming into Red Dixie Field and Raceway brimming with confidence after their 3-nil thrashing of Largent. The Confederate has been on a little streak of their own after getting slaughtered by Brazillico 4-nil as they have whipped The Weegies at home 4-nil and beaten EL CID THE HERO away from The Confederate. Something had to give, or did it?
Bad luck shined upon The Confederate first. What was to be a one-time gimmick became a tradition after their surprised lopsided upset of The Weegies. At every home game, all the players slide off the hood of a replica of the General Lee car from the Dukes of Hazzard. They believe that this will make them number 01. Unfortunately, Daisy Duke with her tight fitting pants and butt cheeks exposed, got a nasty burn sliding across the hot hood of the General Lee and had to be scratched from the lineup. Comrade Jethro was her replacement in the starting lineup.
The first half was dominated by our Fearless Farmers as it seemed that Melmond was going to coast to victory. At the 10th minute, after trapping a clear by defender Sergio Ortiz, superstar midfielder Critandi Unne was able to maneuver around the defence as was able to juke The Confederate goalkeeper General Lee out of position. He couldn’t accelerate fast enough to stop Unne’s shot. This goal makes it 1-nil Fearless Farmers.
The second goal of the game is where Melmond showed its muscle. Naturalized Melmond citizen Mornakh the Bloody Handed was able to move the massive The Confederate defender Boss Hogg, trap the ball, and make a hard and accurate shot past General Lee. Bloody Handed scores his first international goal with Melmond at the 23rd minute as the Fearless Farmers take the 2-nil lead. It was very apparent that The Confederate was missing Daisy Duke, their answer to Nina Steen of Melmond.
The third goal came during injury time as Melmond earned a corner kick. Jonsi Torrini was able to make another perfect corner kick for Melmond striker Chris Owen to head in the net as he jumped over the massive Boss Hogg to get his fourth goal of qualifying and the third goal of the game for Melmond. Melmond headed to the pits, which had to double as a locker room, very confident of itself.
Halftime was rather eventful, as the weather had dramatically changed as dark clouds quickly hovered over the stadium. A downpour began and basically turned the pitch/infield of Red Dixie Field and Raceway into an absolute mud bath. Needless to say The Confederate was happier than pigs in slop. They had the right cleats to maintain their traction. Melmond would be slip sliding away.
The Confederate coach made a change as he substituted both strikers, Bo and Luke Duke, for Coy and Vance Duke. It really didn’t make sense to this reporter as both tandems play similarly, but what didn’t work on television worked on the football pitch as Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm slips and gets a face full of mud as Coy Duke puts in the first The Confederate goal at the 50th minute.
His brother Vance advanced The Confederate cause twenty-six minutes later as he makes the most irregular header I have ever seen, actually diving into the muddy mess and sliding his body, aiming his head for the ball and getting it passed the muddy-shoed Xtfuinxm. Vance Duke scores at the 76th minute The Confederate is amounting their big comeback!
Manager Felix Coostatlwak made all three of substitutions, putting players in who are used to rainier conditions. Midfielders Camui Arai and Cristina Antunez were replaced by Chara Effitont and the aptly named Rainy Zoulthane. The astounding striker Chris Owen was replaced by Benjamin Leeb. These substitutions didn’t matter as five minutes later Comrade Jethro scores the equaliser at the 82nd minute by first sliding to splatter Xtfuinxm with mud, and then shoot the ball in while he is wiping his face.
The game ends in a 3-3 tie. The Fearless Farmers were very dejected about giving up such a large lead. The Confederate was rather delighted as a tie achieved their socialist goals. Also it has been said that a tie is like kissing your sister, and The Confederate side is known to enjoy that as well. The Fearless Farmers want the country roads to take them back home. Unfortunately, this reporter has the uneasy feeling that their on-field performance will mimic John Denver, crash and burn.

Goals
C. Unne, MEL 10th
Bloody Handed, MEL 23rd
Owen, MEL 45th
C. Duke, TCO 50th
V. Duke, TCO 76th
Jethro, TCO 82nd

Cards
None

Standings

Other Group 10 Results
Oceaice 2 – Largent 3
Lallania 0 – EL CID THE HERO 4
Eauz 1 – The Weegies 0
Europa Brittania 2 – Brazillico 3

[code:1:95ce68c924]Group 10
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Brazillico 12 4 0 0 12:4 8
2. Europa Brittania 9 3 0 1 9:3 6
3. EL CID THE HERO 9 3 0 1 11:6 5
4. The Confederate 7 2 1 1 10:9 1
5. Eauz 6 2 0 2 6:5 1
6. Largent 6 2 0 2 7:9 -2
7. Melmond 5 1 2 1 8:6 2
8. Lallania 3 1 0 3 4:12 -8
9. Oceaice 1 0 1 3 5:10 -5
10. The Weegies 0 0 0 4 2:10 -8[/code:1:95ce68c924]

Melmond Team Stats
Goals: Chris Owen (4), Benjamin Leeb (1), Critandi Unne (1), Mornakh the Bloody Handed (1)
Cards: Scott Cheney (1)

The Melmond National Team Schedule

@ EL CID THE HERO L 2-1
@ Oceaice T 1-1
v Largent (Microcosm Stadium, Aldi) W 3-0
@ The Confederate T 3-3
v Lallania (Xpress Counsel Field, Cali)
@ Eauz
v Europa Brittania (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne)
@ Brazillico
v The Weegies (Frankndottir Stadium, Acosta)
v EL CID THE HERO (Woocat Books Ballpark, O’Connor)
v Oceaice (Lifedonations Stadium, Morales)
@ Largent
v The Confederate (MPNK Stadium, Faasen)
@ Lallania
v Eauz (White Bread Dome, Suburbia)
@ Europa Brittania
v Brazillico (Melmond Bowl, Melmond City)
@ The Weegies

Next Game
vs. Lallania (Xpress Counsel Field, Cali)

It still may be early, but this match at home against newcomers Lallania is a must win. The schedule gets much tougher after this match as the Fearless Farmers will have to travel to Eauz and Brazillico and host Europa Brittania. Melmond has never lost to a newcomer in its history and have been playing exceptionally well at home recently. Lallania is a team that tries really hard, but just doesn’t have the talent. They are one of the many sides who upset The Weegies, but with the way they have been losing, can we call the upsets anymore. Manager Felix Coostatlwak will keep the lineup the same as the last two matches.

GK- Snhp Xtfuinxm
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Scott Cheney
D- Nina Steen
M- Martin Goodwin
M- Critandi Unne
M- Camui Arai
M- Cristina Antunez
F- Mornakh the Bloody Handed
F- Chris Owen

Xpress Counsel Field
Location: Cali, Melmond
Seats: 37,500 (Open Air)

Cali is Melmond’s sixth largest city and while Unne is said to be the most fashionable city, Cali is said to have the most fashionable people. Cali is the heart of Melmond’s movie and fashion industries and not very known for its support of sports. However, it being the sixth largest city in Melmond got a new stadium built in the Batter Up Baseball League boom of popularity. Xpress Counsel Field is obviously sponsored by Xpress Counsel, a firm in which makeovers are common, fashion wise and psychologically. The stadium houses the Cali baseball team and the cellar dwelling Cali Purples of the Melmond Premier League. In case anyone gets injured Cali has good hospitals as Theys Eluay could attest to. The first 5,000 fans get a talking doll of either Martin Goodwin or Chara Effitont as both are on the Melmond National Team and the local side Cali Purples.

Snub Nose 38

04-05-2004, 21:50

Snub Nose 38

04-05-2004, 21:54

*with our plate of cold chicken, and a cold “38 special”, we’re back in the second floor game room of the east wing of the guest house on the expansive estate…look, you remember where we were, right? remember, margaret “hadda have” a “chicky debonnin’ thingy”? then we went for a snack – cold chicken – down in the kitchen, right? well…we’re back. margaret is still watching the match between ravenspire and snub nose 38, but the minister of athletics, olympics, and alcoholic beverages is in conversation with chief academician albert onestone of the snub nose 38 academy of science. the aspn announcer is – well, he’s announcing.*

…and while the Hooligan medical staff looks over the injured 2nd half substitute Emmerson, a quick recap of the scoring shows Ravenspire opened with a fabulous chip shot over the head of J.W., the Hooligan keeper, in the 27th minute. Bentley got the equalizer for the Hooligans in the 39th minute by tackling the ball neatly away from a Ravenspirian defender in the Ravenspire box, and slipping the ball deftly past the keeper into the net. That’s where the score stood at the half. So far in the second half Clarence has one for the Hooligans, scored in the 56th minute on a set piece from 25 yards out.

Ravenspire had a chance to equalize in the 83rd minute when the Hooligan keeper, J.W., blocked a shot that was quickly headed back across the goal mouth, leaving the Ravenspirical striker 7 yards out on an open net – and he sent it just over the bar.

- You say she was completely overcome by this desire to get a “ChicA-Live Electric Chicken Deboner”?
- Absolutely, Albert. She was manic about it.
- And then, when you said you’d get her one…?
- She calmed down, and actually wondered why I was offering to get one for her.
- Gotta have a chicky debonnin’ thingy!
- Shh. She heard us, and it set her off again.
- But, why on…
- Don’t say it. Look, the match is almost over. They’ll show the commercial again.
- I’ve already taped it.
- You taped it?
- Yes. And, oddly, I have no idea why I taped it.
- Chicky debonnin’ thingy?
- Shh!

Oh, my! Did you see that? Did you see that? I haven’t seen anything like that since…well, ever, I don’t think. Did you see that?!

*we are rather annoyed, because we didn’t see that –we were preoccupied by the conversation between the minister and the chief academician. perhaps they’ll show it again on instant replay.*

We don’t have time to show you that again on instant replay – our broadcast is just about over – but wasn’t that a sweet goal?

*pah! well, maybe they’ll show it later tonight on ‘sports wrap up’*

Normally we’d show that again later tonight on “Sports Wrap Up”, but we’ve been pre-empted tonight for “The State of the Borderlands Address” by The Guy Currently In Charge Of Stuff For The Frost-Free Borderlands Of Snub Nose 38”.

*we absolutely hate politics. and politicians.*

And there’s the ref’s whistle! Final score RAVENSPIRE 1 – SNUB NOSE 38 HOOLIGANS 3!

- Look, let me pop the tape in the VCR and we’ll play it.

*onestone pops the tape in the vcr and plays it (what did you expect? didn’t I just say he was gonna pop the tape in the vcr and play it?) we see the chica-live electric chicken deboner commercial. and we see margaret pop up and pace to and fro, her face contorted once again as she watches with strained intensity.*

- Wanna chicky debonnin’ thingy!
- There…see…she’s totally absorbed by the ad.
- Odd. It’s not really that catchy an ad. And yet…and yet…I want one, too. Hmmm…
- You…want…one…?
- Well, I don’t want one…but, I want one.
- That doesn’t…
- …make sense. I know. Here, let me rewind it and play it again in slow motion.

*albert…what he said he’d do, that’s what he does. pay attention, won’t you?*

- Well, I’ll be…
- Look at that…
- I wanna chicky debonnin’ thingy…

*in slow motion, we see that every so often a frame is VERY different from the rest of the tape. here’s a frame of a chica-live electric chicken debonner, and a group of way-to-happy people admiring it. now here’s a frame of someone using the chica-live electric chicken debonner while standing hip-deep in a pile of money. here’s a frame of someone throwing their chica-live electric chicken deboner out the window, and at the same moment a masked man steps into the room with a machine gun and…here’s a frame with a chica-live electric chicken deboner spewing gems (diamond, rubies, emeralds) all over the lap of it’s owner.*

- I need a chicky debonnin’ thingy!
- It’s subliminal messaging!
- But, why would it effect Margaret so much? Watch out! Oh, now you’ve spilled your beer again.
- Albert, remember, Margaret has a special relationship with chickens. Sorry about the beer in your sneakers.
- Ah…yes…of course.
- Yes, of course, you understand about Margaret’s relationship with her chickens, or yes, of course, you understand about the cold beer in your shoe?
- Um…both, actually.
- So. Do we take this to the Minister of the Interior and the Exterior? Do we take it to the press? Do we…
- You don’t take it anywhere.
- Gack!
- Urp!
- Eek! Chicky debonnin’ thingy.
- Don’t do that, Jack!

*jack cass, the minister of super secret sleuthery, has, as is his wont, sort of materialized in our midst. It’s a very annoying habit of his. somebody’s gonna smack him for it one day.*

- Why, Jack? Why do we not take it anywhere?
- Well, Albert, it’s like this. If you let the cat, so to speak, out of the bag, as it were, it’s not gonna be good for us.
- Who is “us”, Jack?
- Snub Nose 38.
- A little more specific, please, Jack.
- Let’s just say that if this subliminal message thing gets out, it will come to light that a certain Ministry of the Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38 was instrumental in helping the Lemmitanian Chamber of Commerce develop certain advertising…um…techniques.
- Oh. I see. Well, then. Perhaps the only thing to do is…
- …is to get me a chicky debonnin’ thingy.
- Exactly. To get Margaret a chicky debonnin’…er, I mean, a ChicA-Live Electric Chicken Deboner.

*the butler has arrived, and is wiping the minister’s spilt beer off the floor, and out of albert onestone’s sneakers. we have a sudden, unreasoning urge to own a ‘chicky debonnin’ thingy’. we get up and walk out of the room. we’re going down town to the ‘you want it, we got it’ mart and get us a chicky debonnin’ thingy. maybe we’ll pick one up for margaret, too.*

Bedistan

04-05-2004, 22:29

BXDJ-TV Channel 9, Hendersonburg
News at Six - Sports

Mark: And now we go to Al Fox for sports. Al?

Al: Thanks, Mark. Well, our top sports story is the World Cup. Bedistan played Belmorian Scandinavia today--

Mark: Say, why is it still called "Belmorian" Scandinavia? Shouldn't it be Rejistanian Scandinavia now?

Al: The Rejis decided it was too expensive to change the name of the country. True story. Or if it's not, it should be. Anyway, we played the Scandinavians and defeated them 3-1. Man of the match was Gil Vu, who put in two of those Bedistani goals. Karen Neighbors got the other one, and it was Sykusson who got the goal past Terry Delk right at the end. Some more good news: Tadjikistan lost, making Bedistan the only undefeated team in Group 6 with a perfect 4-0-0 record.

Mark: Say, isn't there another country around here doing just as well?

Al: It's unbelievable, Mark. Tingitana looks like it's becoming the next Oddslavo. They did finally break the streak of 2-1 wins, but they did prevail over Carpet 1-0 today. The Heartland, the Emerald Heights, and FIFA all keep making claims that they are "the" world footballing region, but it's Terranordalis that has two of the five teams with perfect 4-0-0 records. Tingitana will likely win again in their next match, facing Elephant and Castle, and I'm liking the Lions' chances against Tadjikistan a little better now that the Tadjiks have fallen a bit.

Mark: Should be a good one. Thanks, Al.

-----------------

Final score:
Bedistan 3 (Vu 18, 75; Neighbors 63)
Belmorian Scandinavia 1 (Sykusson 87)

Final score:
Tingitana 1
Carpet 0

Both teams 4-0-0, 1st place in Groups 6 and 8 respectively

The Eagles Nest

05-05-2004, 00:37

Eagle's Nest Communications Restored

One Large Article of Group 1 Analysis and score recaps

((Trust me, I won't go insane.))

We apologize for the lateness in these articles. Massive floods coupled with massive fires, coupled with that 6.3 magnitude earthquake, kind of knocked our press avenues off line. The meteroite strike didn't help either. Anyway, the last few days of news!

--Eagle's Nest FA released the following list of teams that had been drawn into group 1. It did not take long for them to hear the Strike Birds.

Audioslavia (6)
The Eagles Nest (11)
Total n Utter Insanity (24)
East Spaam (39)
Grand master Mark (56)
New Montreal States (72)
Presgreif
Larkinia
Kendelstand
New Luca

So a quick analysis:

Audioslavia

Great team, ranked 6th, fast offense. a good test for the Nest.

Total n Utter Insanity

Team feared by many as one of the most rabid in great offense, fans are second to none.

East Spaam
The will be the first meeting for the Birds with E. Spaam, although they have met Spaam twice and lost both times. Perhaps some vindication here?

Grand master Mark
Not much known here. may do decently well, but who knows

New Montreal States
Whispers of former glory abound here, but not much of late from them.

The other four are new teams and almost nothing is known of them at all.

The Birds hope to do better than their quarterfinal appearance and lost to Eauz 2-1 when Les Blues marched all the way to the title.

In other news, TEN has confirmed that they are co-bidding to host WCXV, ironically, with Eauz.

"The bid was in place before the match. The agreements and details were all in place when the results came in that the two teams had to play each other. Funny that. Ahh well," said FA head Jordan Smith.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matchday 1

The Eagle's Nest came out shooting against newcomer Kendelstand with 4 goals in the first half has Josh Adams, Siggy Secour, Mario Gratunia, and Horace all got shots on goal early and put it past the very confused goal keeper. Playing in front of 87,000 screaming Birds fans probably didn't
help much either.

MatchDay 2

In their first real test of this campaign, the Birds traveled to Audioslavia and snuck out with a 1-1 tie in what turned into a great defensive match. Josh Adams got the goal for the Nest, and well, we don't know who got the AS goal....we had no conenctions to the outside world.

MatchDay 3

New Luca came to Silver Flame Arena, and well, we think both goalies forgot to show up! 8 goals in a game, 5 by the nest, 3 by New Luca made it a great game for offensive play, a bad game for saves. Adams with 2 goals, Secour with 1, Horace with 1, Gratunia with 1. Later found that the ball had a remote control inside of it and the ball was being controlled past both goalies.

Whoever did this is being sought for questioning.

MatchDay 4

Horace was the hero as he blasted one (and knocked a few birds out of the sky when his shot from the top of the box with his methane kick gave them the win over TnUI 1-0 in the 88th minute. A great game on both sides decided in the end.

After 4 days, the standings of Group 1 Looks like:

[code:1:1fb9d2e65e]
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 The Eagles Nest 4 3 1 0 11 4 7 10 52
2 Grand master Mark 4 3 1 0 12 6 6 10 52
3 Total n Utter Insanity 4 3 0 1 7 2 5 9 51
4 New Montreal States 4 2 0 2 11 8 3 6 48
5 East Spaam 4 1 2 1 7 5 2 5 47
6 Audioslavia 4 1 2 1 5 6 -1 5 47
7 Larkinia 4 1 0 3 4 9 -5 3 45
8 New Luca 4 1 0 3 4 9 -5 3 45
9 Kendelstand 4 1 0 3 3 10 -7 3 45
10Presgreif 4 0 2 2 4 9 -5 2 44
[/code:1:1fb9d2e65e]

The Eagle's Nest Quaification Run

The Eagle's Nest vs. Kendelstand Win 4-0
The Eagle's Nest @ Audioslavia Tie 1-1
The Eagle's Nest vs. New Luca Win 5-3
The Eagle's Nest vs. Total n Utter Insanity Win 1-0
The Eagle's Nest @ East Spaam
The Eagle's Nest vs. Grand master Mark
The Eagle's Nest @ New Montreal States
The Eagle's Nest vs. Presgreif
The Eagle's Nest @ Larkikia
The Eagle's Nest @ Kendelstand
The Eagle's Nest vs. Audioslavia
The Eagle's Nest @ New Luca
The Eagle's Nest @ Total n Utter Insanity
The Eagle's Nest vs. East Spaam
The Eagle's Nest @ Grand master Mark
The Eagle's Nest vs. New Montreal States
The Eagle's Nest @ Presgreif
The Eagle's Nest vs. Larkikia

Brazillico

05-05-2004, 01:52

The Brazillico Advance

Clash of the Titans
Brazillico pull massive upset on the road

By Jake Tartare

In a battle of Irresistable Force against Immovable Object, the two undefeated teams of Group 10 took to the field for temporary group superiority. It would be Europa Brittania’s 3-4-3, having yield no goal to date facing head on against Brazillico’s 4-1-2-1-2 Truncated Lawn Dart, scoring three goals on average per game. Something’s gotta give!

In the 13th Minute, Junior Socrates played a long ball into Europa Britannian territory with Alex Cannon giving chase along with EB defender, Gordon O’Haranhan. The two chased the ball into the box, when Mikel Hansen decided to come off his line and try to snatch the ball away from danger. With O’Haranhan skilfully shielding the ball and Hansen on the verge of pouncing on it, Cannon stuck his left foot between O’Haranhan’s legs and flicked the ball over the defender. He then met it with his right foot on the volley, putting it over a leaping Hansen, under the crossbar and just inside the far post. An absolutely breathtaking goal to open the scoring at 1-0.

But Europa Britannia is a veteran side, and as such, they would not be rattled. The lethal “L-Line” of Lionel, Lomardi and Lester lived up to their billing and came back with a quick equaliser in the 20th. Michele Lomardi skilfully brought the ball up field and passed it up to Lester. Lester then went across to Derek Lionel. Upon reception of the pass, Lionel struck it with the outside of his foot, placing it towards the far post and leaving David Robinho with no chance at a save. Europa Britannia found themselves on even footing again.

But this match was much akin to two schoolgirls gleefully playing on a teeter-totter; the momentum just went back and forth. In the 37th Minute, Brazillico used its speed to manufacture another threat, this time with Sandro Cannon rounding Fraiser Stacey on the perimeter of the box. Stacey, stunned, used the only move in his arsenal to slow down the progress of Cannon and stuck out his foot to try to remove the ball. Unfortunately, all he got was Sandro’s right ankle. The tackle was right on the line, but the referee decided a penalty should be rewarded. From the spot, the crafty Junior Socrates made no mistake, pulling a stutter-step which had Hansen beat before the ball even came off his foot. Brazillico would carry the 2-1 score line into the half.

When play resumed, Europa Britannia were hungry for an equaliser, and none were more determined than Derek Lionel. After having a few decent scoring chances either be squandered by opposing defenders or having shots whiz by the bar, Lionel got his chance in the 63rd Minute. An unfortunate bounce on a clearing attempt by Todd Pink trickled behind the Brazillican defence and directly into the path of a streaking Lionel. The talented Europan attacker found himself alone with Robinho and was confronted with almost too much time to get the shot away. Finally, Lionel decided to go low and left, a decision he would regret as Robinho lunged to his right and got a toe on the shot, deflecting it off the bar. The ball stayed in play and it appeared as if Lionel had to convert, but a cavalier sliding tackle by Todd Pink stripped him of the ball.

Some Europa Brittanians were congregating around the referee, begging for a call, but little did they realize that the Brazillican counter-attack was upon them. Alex and Sandro Cannon, as well as Junior Socrates, found themselves sprinting up field with only two Brittanians in their path. Junior Socrates gave it to Alex Cannon, who went back to Junior Socrates, who then booted it forward to Sandro Cannon who had freed himself from his marker. A sprinting Sandro cheekily flicked the ball with the outside of his foot, leaving Mikel Hansen hung out to dry and wondering where exactly the defence was on that one. 3-1 Brazillico.

It seemed Cosmo was willing to sit upon that lead and immediately substituted Alex Cannon for veteran defender Bertrand Durango. Two minutes later, it was Junior Socrates’ turn to leave, as defensive specialist Pete Jackovia saw the pitch for the first time of this campaign.

The game reached injury time without major incident, until the L-Line gave us a reminder of their awesome lethality. Derek Lionel played a harmless looking cross into the box, which Michele Lomardi met with her left foot, sending it top shelf. Whether Brazillico was a little too relaxed with the two goal lead or not, Europa Britannia added another fabulous goal to their name. But alas, it didn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things, as Brazillico had this match won 3-2.

This huge win means Brazillico goes 4-0 and now has a huge leg up on the rest of the competition for a birth in the World Cup. It also means, for this brief moment in history, Brazillico is once again the number 1 team in the World, holding the best record and goal difference after four games of qualifying. Although the status of “No. 1” will likely be highly contested by fans and pundits all across the World, victories over defending champions Eauz and perennial powerhouses Europa Britannia, has definitely cemented this team as a contending force. Despite this, many, namely myself, are predicting a Weegian victory two matches from now. These types are feeling uneasy about Brazillico winning this many, and The Weegies losing that many, in succession. Something’s gotta give!

Total n Utter Insanity

05-05-2004, 03:49

TnUI History - Part the fourth

The land has become heavily forested in some places and a river now flows through the land.

Soundgardian the first: Look! Tis the promised lands!

Soundgardian the second: Would you stop speaking like that you sound like a f---ing tosser.

Soundgardian the first mumbles.

Soundgardian the second: So what do we do now pissant?

Soundgardian the first: Err...

Soundgardian the second: Can't you remember the god damn vision at all?

Soundgardian the first: Nah, I was high at the time.

Wild Ogly the only: Mu-to bu-lu!

Soundgardian the second: What the f--- is that?

Wild Ogly the only: Killa be-no!

Soundgardian the first: I think it's a native.

Soundgardian the second: She looks pretty f---ing hot.

Soundgardian the first: Are you still drunk?

*censored scenes*

Vilita

05-05-2004, 05:26

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Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) 2 - 2 Danilotown

( Adika 18, Vella 89 ) :: ( Unknown x 2 )

Vilkaus Fury at Lackluster Jungle Cats

Bookings: Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) - none; Danilotown - none .

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http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

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GROUP 4 MD5 Results:

GROUP 4
Tanah Burung 2 - 1 Ineptia
Iansisle 3 - 0 Sqournshelous
Praying2God 0 - 0 Rejistania
VIlita 2 - 2 Danilotown
Hawcoat 3 - 3 Crystilakere

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Current Group 4 Standings:

[code:1:bfa68dcaf4]
GROUP 4 P W D L GF GA GD Pts

Tanah Burung 5 4 1 0 13 5 +8 13
Sqournshelous 5 2 2 1 10 5 +8 8
Iansisle 5 2 2 1 12 7 +5 8
----
Vilita 5 2 2 1 8 6 +2 8
Praying2God 5 2 2 1 5 4 +1 8
Rejistania 5 1 2 2 6 6 0 5
Crystilakere 5 1 2 2 8 12 -4 5
Hawcoat 5 0 4 1 6 8 -2 4
Danilotown 5 1 1 3 6 16 -10 4
Ineptia 5 0 2 3 2 7 -5 2

[/code:1:bfa68dcaf4]

Return To Group 4 Information Page (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3106886#3106886)

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/sched.gif
M01:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [2] Praying2God <- [Match Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3111724#3111724)]
M02:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [0] Ineptia <- [Match Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3117831#31)]
M03:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [1] - [1] Hawcoat [Match Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3122533#31)]
M04:
Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) [3] - [1] Crystilakere <- [Match Report (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3125618#31)]

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif
The Colony of Vilita (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_nation/nation=vilita) Jungle Cats will be looking to qualify for the World Cup finals in their second attempt after failing to do so in WCQ XIII. The Jungle Cats are currently undefeated in the last 6 Atlantian Oceania (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_region/region=atlantian_oceania) Regional championships, and look poised to add to that total in the upcoming Atlantian Oceania (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/34936/page=display_region/region=atlantian_oceania) Olympic games. Their squad will consist of mostly young stars from the National league, with a few experienced veterans, from the days before baseball was outlawed in the Nation, to guide them on their way to Glory.

Magnus Valerius

05-05-2004, 05:34

The Valerian Voice
Valerians Shut Out Makongo-Wodimalongo

The atmosphere at Metaxas was optimistic today on Matchday 5. A welcoming breeze blew in from the Wilhelmus Straits and the weather was clear with temperatures that were warm and comfortable. After two losses in the previous days, the fans needed a win so that they will not lose heart in their new line-up in their first World Cup. The game commenced with heated defensive moves by both teams. But, after the first half, the defense players of Makongo-Wodimalongo became disorganized. Soon, there were the two goals that will send MW's team packing.

First, Michael Kyritsis (#67) made a daring offensive cut past the midfielders and defensemen of MW and scored the first goal of the game. The crowd cheered and Kyritsis took in the enthusiasm as the lines reorganized themselves. It was not pretty for Makongo, for in the next fifteen minutes, for Jozef Hohenstauffen (#75) lead another offensive play against Makongo and scored the second goal. The Valerian defense held, preventing any hopes for a Makongo goal. The game ended with an enthusiastic victory, 2 - 0.

Matchday 6 involves Valeria Away, against the toughest opponent in the entire group: Commerce Heights. Everyone, make sure you hope for the best and show your team your support!

The Valerian Boyars WC XIV Progress Chart
Day 1: Lovisa v. Magnus Valerius: T 2 - 2
Day 2: Dead Man v. Magnus Valerius: T 1 - 1
Day 3: Magnus Valerius v. Lennon Marx: L 0 - 1
Day 4: The Fivefold Star v. Magnus Valerius: L 3 - 2
Day 5: Magnus Valerius v. Makongo-Wodimalongo: W 2 - 0
Day 6: Commerce Heights v. Magnus Valerius:
Day 7: Magnus Valerius v. Svecia:
Day 8: Oddslavo v. Magnus Valerius:
Day 9: Magnus Valerius v. Stalag 5:

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Matchday 6 Lineup for the Away Game Versus Commerce Heights

Commerce Heights is ranked 8th amongst the world teams when the World Cup started, so it is surely a fear of Valeria on how it would fare against this star team of the world. The Emperor had picked whom he thought would be the best counters to the excellent plays that Commerce Heights is known to execute.

Goalkeeper:
#82: Charles Timophilos, 23

Defensemen:
#45: John Leopold, 22
#32: Francis Saltzen, 29
#03: Bela Pecisz, 24

Midfielders:
#92: Dimitrios Konstantinides, 23
#33: Ismail Rosenburg, 24
#09: Vick Pickering, 20
#02: Josh Kouzoff, 21

Strikers:
#67: Michael Kyritsis, 25
#75: Jozef Hohenstauffen, 21
#24: Ernst von Zell-am-See, 31

05-05-2004, 05:40

Marie Law: I'm Marie Law reporting from the House of Prayer, where the Warriors have just finished a 0-0 draw against pre-Cup group favorites Rejistania. Rumor has it that the Warriors players will be allowed to speak to the media after their quality play today. Hopefully they can keep this up for the rest of the Cup. However, the team has not been released from the locker room yet, so I don't have anybody here to join me today. It's safe to say though, that after the Warriors' struggles in the last two matches, they will all be very happy with their draw today. Let's send it to Jennifer in the studio.

Jennifer Johnson: Thank you, Marie. That's right folks, the Warriors actually played up to expectations today. Sure, it would have been nice if they had won, but considering how they had played in the last two matches a draw is as good as a win for them. Good night everybody.

Brazillico

05-05-2004, 05:45

The Brazillico Advance

Sandro’s Big Day
Cannon Twin Scores Four to Lead Side to Victory

By Jake Tartare

We bared witness to one of the finest striking performances in recent memory today, as Sandro Cannon rewrote the Brazillican record books, scoring all four goals today as Brazillico thrust itself past Oceaice, 4-1. And as Emerald Heights founder Slag once said, “Sometimes when you’re on, you’re really frickin on”.

Oceaice had no chance in this one, as Sandro Cannon secured his hat trick by the 22nd minute mark. Afterwards, Brazillico pulled their foot off the gas, allowing Oceaice to pull one back in injury time.

With pretty much nothing to play for, we then witnessed one of the nicer goals you’ll ever see on a playing field. Tobias Cannon took the free kick and sent a howitzer right at the wall. It hit the centrepiece of the wall, causing for the lanky defender’s neck to jar back and for him to fall backwards, with the ball bouncing skyward as a result. The Oceaice players looked confused, useless almost, as they tried to find the football beneath the warm afternoon sun. Sandro Cannon set up shop with his back to Oceaice’s stopper right beside the spot, posting up and trying to create some space. With the ball coming down towards him, Sandro jumped and flung himself backwards, catching the ball solidly with his right foot. The ball took a hop of the turf and up over the visiting team’s sprawling defender. A magical bicycle kick to earn himself the all-time record for most goals by a Brazillican with four, sending the 80,000 Brazillicans in attendance into a frenzy.

Brazillico will try to pick up where they’ve left of and try to stretch their streak of qualification victories to eight, when they face a hungry Weegie side. Staying true to my previous prediction, I believe the Weegies will take home the victory. Why? They’re due.

Brazillico 4 S. Cannon (9, 19, 22, 61)
Oceaice 1 R. Boulpiquanté(45)

Leading Scorers
A. Cannon 6
S. Cannon 6
J. Socrates 3
F. Cannon 1

Turnia

05-05-2004, 05:52

Turnia City Tribune

Associated Press Quick Flash

World Cup Qualifier Game 5 -- Mattigool 2 Turnia 1

The Dragon's downhill slide continues as they have dropped their fifth straight game, sitting at 0-5-0 -7GD. It remains to be seen if anything can be salvaged from this showing.

National team pride has wavered some, but still remains strong. The faithful point to the recent close games and see it as a possitive. "This team could have folded and packed it in after games 1 & 2, but they didn't. The last 3 games have been close and could have went either way. That's saying something," said one Dragons fan. However one of the wavering sees it this way, "What a bunch of chumps!".

Is there something to be said for moral victories? In minds of the majority of Turnians, the answer is yes. Although an actual victory would be better.

APQF

Oceaice

05-05-2004, 06:44

Oceaice 1 <Oceaician 9> (45)

We do have a roster posted, you know?

Rejistania

05-05-2004, 07:24

Oceaice 1 <Oceaician 9> (45)

We do have a roster posted, you know?

It's impossible to see who plays which position in it.

From the KaMaRi Update

Being boring
The Orange-Blues archieved only a scoreless draw against Praying 2 God. Finally the Orange-Blues defense found back to its old strength. Milan Tia~e refused to play in the 'House of Prayer' (P2G national stadium), he is a atheist with very strong anti-christian tendencies. He said that these tendencies were caused by events in the war of independence*, which he did not want to name. This match was a good proof how essential the young Ligatanian forward is for the team. Syliju'he and Koleni'he did a poor job on capitalising their chances. Fortunately, the defense found its own form again and so the team avoided to lose yet another point. despite this encouraging result, ritual sacrifices to the gods has reached an all-time-high and the RejisFA plans to host the cup of Harmony in case the Orange-Blues qualify for it.

Professor Gojina'he, the creator of the holographic Orange-Blues explained that they can not play in the near future due to legal issues. In Rejistania, ClosedSource software is outlawed so the code of the holographic Orange-Blues would have to be available for download also by foreign FAs. It might be then, that the holographic Orange-Blues face a team, which uses exactly the same player-data and the same code as them.

* The Rejis exists only since about 20 years so the war of independence is no far-past event for Tia~e'he.

Liverpool England

05-05-2004, 09:16

World Cup Update - Group 7 Liverpool England Matchdays 4 and 5

[code:1:008c9b24f0]MD4: Mattigool 1:2 Liverpool England
MD5: Liverpool England 2:0 NASTIC 2[/code:1:008c9b24f0]

Two wins on the trot - pretty good stuff after the MD2 defeat at The Lowland Clans. Let's now show you the MD4 report from Lee Smith who was in Mattigool.

'What a wonderful day! A fantastic 2-1 away win, and who better for it to come against, a team called Mattigool. Now, while the two teams have never met before, the team knew the potential threat from Mattigool, from their previous performances.

Chris Hawkins got the match underway after just seven minutes, a superb one-two with Kelvin Johnson finished off with a contender for goal of the qualifying - a curling, dipping shot from 25 yards executed oh-so-perfectly into the bottom left-hand corner of the net, and the Mattigoolian keeper had no chance.

Then, Hawkins set it up for Dominic Dirosa, who in turn decided to cross the ball in from the right flank. The ball dipped nicely for the waiting Johnson, but before he could get to it the Mattigoolian goalkeeper had punched the ball away - hard into the back of the head of one of his defenders - and back into the net. 2-0, with an amazing lead inside 10 minutes.

They held this lead until the 87th minute, when Dirosa brought down <Mattigool player 10> in the box, and Player 10 coolly slotted the ball past Mark Hearne Jr.'

And then, we had the match against NASTIC 2. Decaltré Jomans was at neutral territory in Aerigia, where the match was being played due to a massive police raid in Orean and CCL. Here's the report.

'Writing from Aerigia, I get a sense of pride to be a Liverpool England citizen. Whenever people hear "Liverpool England", many think "former champions". Well, they, unfortunately, are "former champions" no more, this has been the reality for over 20 years.

Today, the team faced NASTIC 2, who, in all honesty, deserved credit for their strong performances so far in this qualifying campaign. However, today was not an instance.

Within four minutes, the ever-confident Kof Hadji [Chris Hawkins' alias] put the team in front. A slicing ball meant to look for Kelvin Johnson in the box somehow evaded the striker's, and the Nastican goalkeeper's, head, and bounced into the net for an extravagant 35-yard goal.

Hadji undid all of this when he went in for a 50-50 challenge two minutes later, injured the opposing player with a two-footed challenge, and was, rightly sent off.

However, with their opponents being down to ten men the Nastic side never looked like threatening, in fact they would rather go on and sit back to defend a 1-0 deficit. Big mistake, within three minutes Liverpool England were willing to defend a 2-0 lead, goal courtesy Dominic Dirosa.'

[code:1:008c9b24f0]
Mattigool 1:2 Liverpool England
player10 p87 Hawkins 7
Mattigool player4 og8

Liverpool England 2:0 NASTIC 2
Hawkins 4
Hawkins sentoff 6
Dirosa 9[/code:1:008c9b24f0]

NEWI Cefn Druids

05-05-2004, 09:47

The Daily Druid

DARK LEAVES RAVENS MAD
Wayne Ottgunn-Irwin on NEWI Cefn Druids 1 Ravenspire 1

NEWI Cefn Druids kept their unbeaten run at The Hole going thanks to a late equaliser scored just as a floodlight failure struck, angering the Ravenspire team, who's protests fell on deaf ears.

Ravenspire had led for most of the match, but the controversy surrounding the result started in injury time at the end of the match. In the third and final minute of time added on, Simpson curled a corner in for the Druids that was cleared only as far as Gessemschmitthaagen-Po, who was lurking on the edge of the penalty area. As the shot crossed the line, the lights went out around the stadium. Though it was judged to have been in already before the darkness set in, the Ravens argued that the flickering of the lights put their goalkeeper off. However, the referee ignored their protests and the goal stood.

The problem was soon fixed, and the remaining thirty seconds or so were played out. In this time, Ravenspire came close to grabbing a late, late winner when Amos Hinton's backpass slipped under Reg Garth's foot, only for the keeper to recover and scramble the ball off the line.

The draw sees the Druids slip out of the qualifying positions in Group 3 into fourth place, though there are still only two points seperating second and seventh. Guessing who will qualify from the group is not a job anyone would like to be posed with at the moment. Meanwhile, the Snub Nose 38 Hooligans pull even further away, keeping their 100% record intact and already looking a good bet to make it to Oglethorpia and Kingsford. They play host to the Druids next, so expect their run to continue.

Final score:
NEWI Cefn Druids 1 [Gessemschmitthaagen-Po 90+3]
Ravenspire 1 [<player 10> 17]

[code:1:06d6bb2517]OTHER MATCHDAY FIVE RESULTS

Pablicosta 2-2 Tepalguana
Snub Nose 38 2-0 Airenguo
The Evil Umpire 3-0 Holy lndia
The Redavic Union 2-3 Halfassedstates

GROUP 3 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Snub Nose 38 5 5 0 0 12 3 +9 15
Halfassedstates 5 3 0 2 6 4 +2 9
The Evil Umpire 5 3 0 2 8 9 -1 9
NEWI Cefn Druids 5 2 2 1 10 5 +5 8
Ravenspire 5 2 2 1 5 5 0 8
Pablicosta 5 2 1 2 9 7 +2 7
The Redavic Union 5 2 1 2 11 10 +1 7
Tepalguana 5 0 3 2 7 10 -3 3
Airenguo 5 1 0 4 3 9 -6 3
Holy lndia 5 0 1 4 4 13 -9 1 [/code:1:06d6bb2517]

Audioslavia

05-05-2004, 10:54

...extracted from 'The Rise and Fall of Audioslavian Football' - dated 20 years into the future.

...up 14 started off well enough with a 2-0 defeat of Old Luca MKII, known to the more pithy Audioslavian's as New Luca. Donal Faulder found his feet on his debut with a goal and also set one up for Aaron O`Malley to get his first goal in quite a while for the 'slaves. Unfortunately, from there it all started to go wrong. Audioslavia's next matches were against the better teams in the world. They failed to defeat highly-rated The Eagles Nest, only scraping a point with a last minute equaliser by O`Malley.

TnUI would come next away from home. In a farcical match, only five Audioslavians were allowed on the pitch due to some rather xenophobic actions by the TnUFBI. Audioslavia lost 3-0, drew 2-2 with East Spaam after throwing away a two-goal lead, and suddenly things werent looking rosy for the Audioslavians.

Nerves were on edge in the 'slaves camp on the way to a potential bananaskin in the shape of Grand Master Mark. Indeed, GMM scored an early goal, but a ten minute spell of good football by the 'slaves created goals for O`Malley and Willow, and Audioslavia had salvaged three poi...

ooc: been away for a week, catching up...

Brazillico

05-05-2004, 14:03

Oceaice 1 <Oceaician 9> (45)

We do have a roster posted, you know?

Terribly sorry, my mistake. I've made the according changes.

Great to see new nations getting involved and making stellar RPs. This has definately been your best work to date. Top notch. :wink:

Giant Zucchini

05-05-2004, 14:35

NEWSFLASH:

The battle of the one-liners ended 1-0 to the Zucchinis, the winning goal scored by Machterstrassefurtermorgannachttunggutsprechenbuchlungweighetvolkshvargenshtickshnoff, incidently whose name cannot fit into 1 line.

OOC: This is NOT an Aquillan post. It is known as "modern art".

Jeruselem

05-05-2004, 14:51

Jeruselem Government News

Crusaders lose after disputed goal

Top gun Gesamtkuntswerk escaped with a win over Jeruselem 1-0 in some controvesy over the winning goal. Both teams played in good spirit but were unabled to dominate the game with few good scoring chances. However a goal to Gesamtkuntswerk late in the 2nd half which looked suspiciously like "Hand of God" incident.

Coach Alex Avignon was not a happy person after the game "The goal scorer was only 5 foot tall, and the ball reached him at around 1 foot above him. I'm not sure why he was waving his hands around while trying to head the ball in the first place. I teach my players not to dive, avoid acting like a bunch of thugs and stop playing footie ballet around goal squares."

GROUP 9
One Red Dot 3 - 1 The mighty spurs
Aquilla 0 - 1 Giant Zucchini
Jeruselem 0 - 1 Gesamtkuntswerk
Wella 1 - 0 Shang-Ti
Nanakaland 3 - 1 Clearwater

Tadjikistan

05-05-2004, 14:55

Tadjikistan

05-05-2004, 14:56

http://www.internews.tj/russian/images/newlogo1.gif

Tadjikistans second failure to win.

Dushanbe - Tadjikistan played a good match and created some good chances but could not defeat their opponent. The only Tadjik goal, made by Zhukov in the 60th minute was not enough to get points, as Bedistan scored twice.

Zhukov, who returned to the national team a couple matches ago, played an excellent match, and was always in the right spot, but he rarely received the ball because of a weak left flank and when he received the ball, he couldnt use it. The few chances Zhukov got came from Chrystiakov and Biriuzov who performed reasonably on the right flank. The defense played good but made too many mistakes. Yakir told us he wants to improve the defense, but refused to tell us whether that ment changing players, using new tactics or special training.

The national team is now travelling to Kerla, where they will play against Kerla, number 17 on the world ranking list. A strong opponent, but not invincible as Kerla won 5 matches and lost one. Tadjikistan can and should win their encounter in Kerla to get some points.

[code:1:7d250a5b3a]
GROUP 6 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Bedistan 5 5 0 0 10 4 +6 15
Kerla 5 4 0 1 10 3 +7 12
Tadjikistan 5 3 0 2 10 7 +3 9
Aerigia 5 3 0 2 12 11 +1 9
Belmorian Scandinavia 5 3 0 2 6 6 0 9
Dennisov 5 2 1 2 6 7 -1 7
Intelligent Madness 5 2 0 3 8 7 +1 6
Keyshona 5 1 0 4 8 12 -4 3
Bobbystan 5 1 0 4 4 11 -7 3
Vollmeria 5 0 1 4 6 12 -6 1
[/code:1:7d250a5b3a]

M1: Tadjikistan - Intelligent Madness W 2-1
M2: Aerigia - Tadjikistan W 1-3
M3: Tadjikistan - Keyshona W 3-1
M4: Bobbystan - Tadjikistan L 2-1
M5: Tadjikistan - Bedistan L 1-2
M6: Kerla - Tadjikistan
M7: Tadjikistan - Dennisov
M8: Belmorian Scandinavia - Tadjikistan
M9: Tadjikistan - Vollmeria
M10: Intelligent Madness - Tadjikistan
M11: Tadjikistan - Aerigia
M12: Keyshona - Tadjikistan
M13: Tadjikistan - Bobbystan
M14: Bedistan - Tadjikistan
M15: Tadjikistan - Kerla
M16: Dennisov - Tadjikistan
M17: Tadjikistan - Belmorian Scandinavia
M18: Vollmeria - Tadjikistan

The Lowland Clans

05-05-2004, 15:19

Graham City Sun - World Cup Qualifying Coverage

TLC Stars vs Runaway Moose

Starting Line Up
[code:1:5f73e455aa]
---------Asten-----McKeehan-----Blackwing-----Jeremy---------

--------------Julios---------Illius---------Rose-------------

----------West--------------McGraff-----------Jergen---------[/code:1:5f73e455aa]

RUNAWAY MOOSE - The Stars travelled to Moose this week to play their old World Cup groupies. well, to be honest, The Stars have risen and the Moose have fallen, and it looks as if that trend will continue. Frustrated after their distinct failure in NASTIC, the Stars were ready to jump on the next team, and boy, they sure did.

the game started off with a bang, as Mark Jeremy and Kellen Asten sprung on the ball and began threading passes back and forth like no tomorrow. The only thing that stopped thier beautiful run was a crossbar, which Jeremy hit on his power shot from just inside the box. Chee Blackwing also got several clean shots that bounced off the post and just grazed the goalies fingers, driving them just wide. But the first goal came on the ever rare play where the defense was caught to far up. A Moose midfielder stole the ball from a too-eager Pavel Julios, and went past the turning defense to beat Greg Devore on a one on one.

Unfortunately for the Moose, that was the last they would ever see the ball. For the rest of the game, the Stars did not allow the ball to enter their half. For sixty-seven minutes the ball stayed in the Moose half. The equalizer came in the thrity-seventh minute, when Pavel Julios blasted on into the box, which went off a Runaway defender. The ball landed at the ever ready feet of Orlando Rose, who powered it home to tie the game. The score stayed that way through the half, but then the Stars exploded after that.

Chee Blackwing powered home a rebound of the post, and then Kellen Asten stole on off of a sloppy defender, and then beat the goalie on a left fake.

TLC Stars 3 - 1 Runaway Moose
Rose (37th, Julios assist)
Blackwing (59th, no assist)
Asten (61st, no assist)

Halfassedstates

05-05-2004, 16:01

"Well...ya see," replied their captain, Milly Ped, "It just suddenly occured to us - when the opponents name is "Halfassed"...well, what do you do with that? They come pre-insulted. It just kind of took the wind right out of our sails."

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Halfassedstates

05-05-2004, 16:30

*Having spent the past few weeks sight-seeing around FIFA, we finally return to Whogivesa airport. While waiting in the taxi rank, we notice the person opposite reading the paper, so naturally we read the cover-pages!*

Hurricanes edge out Redavic yet again! screams the back page

*We can only make out the opening paragraph -
Robin Ya scored an 82nd minute winner for the hurricanes that helped complete an astounding come-back. Goals from Sherwood (54mins) and Flynn (77mins) had brought Halfassed back on terms after they found themselves 2-0 down at half-time, before Ya latched onto Bendy's through ball and slotted home the winner.
- the report continues, there is a picture of Ya sliding on his knees towards the corner flag celebrating the winner. Further down, there is another pic of midfielder Gormant, but we don't really know why!*

*Eventually, we notice the main headline on the 'front page'*
-Police baffled by multiple deaths

*hmmm - we read on as best we can (ie the slightly bolder print opening paragraph again!)

Police chiefs investigating a spate of deaths of vagrants in Halfassed citys have admitted they are baffled by the cases. Numerous homeless folk have been found beaten to death outside eletrical stores in the major cities. It had been believed that the fights had started because of the two narrow defeats earlier in the campaign and a lot of effort had been put into finding out if those killed were of Ravenspirian or Snub Nose decent. However, the deaths continued after the latest two games, and police are struggling to explain the problem.

*As our taxi finally pulls up, we hope that the newsagent has kept our weekly paper, there seems to be a lot to catch-up on!*

Eauz

05-05-2004, 19:07

Le LIBRE

Needed Road win

Playing in their second road match of the World Cup, Les Bleus faced off against the team from EL CID THE HERO. Everywhere in that country, one could see pictures of EL CID, especially in the football stadium. Fans were packing in to the stadium to see their national team face off against the number one team of football at the moment. There were a few Eauz fans there, but most of them had El Cid flags and chanting for the home team. Starting in goal in the match was Michel Rousoi hoping to get on the right track after being handed a loss in an earlier match.

The whistle blew, and the play began, with cheering fans, the home side had the visible advantage. Les Bleus had to prove why they were given the #1 rank. With control of the ball, Les Bleus brought on an early attack, sending the ball deep into the Cid zone. The ball went out of play with a throw in for Les Bleus. Joseuf got control of the ball, shooting it on net, being deflected into the net by Mid-fielder Eurz. The goal came early at the 23rd minute of play. The defence once again for Les Bleus became the defence of the past. The Cid team brought back another attack, but was destroyed because of the defence. As the first half wound down, Les Bleus scored another goal, putting them up 2 – 0 at the half.

The second half brought about no big change, but late in the play of the match, a fan had thrown something on the field, hitting Guiellem, a defence man for Les Bleus. Guiellem was not injured, but had to leave the match for care. It was found out that Oglethorpian fan was the one who threw the article. Though, Les Bleus defence was attacked, they did not let down the team, preventing any future attacks from developing for El Cid. Les Bleus would go on to a 2 – 0 victory.

The victory brings Les Bleus up to 4th place, tied with EL Cid. Les Bleus are finally getting back on track, with the easier part of the schedule to come. The next match will come at home against Melmond who is 8th place, and has only won 1 match in the last 5 matches. They will be looking to use the home field to an advantage, because they are 1 – 0 -1 at home, where as they have yet to win on the road.

More information on the next match later…

[code:1:c8c0f02cf1]
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Brazillico 5 5 0 0 16 5 11 15 54
2 Europa Britannia 5 3 1 1 9 3 6 10 49
3 The Confederate 5 3 1 1 12 10 2 10 49
4 EL CID THE HERO 5 3 0 2 11 8 3 9 48
5 Eauz 5 3 0 2 8 5 3 9 48
6 Largent 5 2 0 3 8 11 -3 6 45
7 Lallania 5 2 0 3 7 14 -7 6 45
8 Melmond 5 1 2 2 10 9 1 5 44
9 Oceaice 5 0 1 4 6 14 -8 1 40
10 The Weegies 5 0 1 4 2 10 -8 1 40
[/code:1:c8c0f02cf1]

Match Day 1: Oceaice @ Eauz W 4 - 2
Match Day 2: Europa Britannia vs Eauz L 1 - 0
Match Day 3: Eauz @ BrazillicoL 1 - 2
Match Day 4: The Weegies @ Eauz W 0 - 1
Match Day 5: Eauz @ EL CID THE HERO W 2 - 0
Match Day 6: Melmond @ Eauz
Match Day 7: Eauz @ Largent
Match Day 8: The Confederate @ Eauz
Match Day 9 : Eauz @ Lallania

Match Day 10: Eauz @ Oceaice
Match Day 11: Eauz @ Europa Britannia
Match Day 12: Brazillico @ Eauz
Match Day 13: Eauz @ The Weegies
Match Day 14: EL CID THE HERO @ Eauz
Match Day 15: Eauz @ Melmond
Match Day 16: Largent @ Eauz
Match Day 17: Eauz @ The Confederate
Match Day 18: Lallania @ Eauz

Audioslavia

05-05-2004, 20:32

The Eagles Nest

05-05-2004, 22:55

Eagle's Nest Get Road Win

4-2 over East Spaam Keep Nest on Top

The Strike Birds traveled to East Spaam for a qualifyer last night and left today with a 4-2 win. Rosters of the East Spaamians are unavailable as our power transformer blew right when we needed to look up the roster, and as such, we are going to mention that E. Spaam took a 2-0 lead when someone started lobbing various items at the Nest scorekeeper and the Easterners took full advantage of it.

Horace took care of that with a well timed blast oat the fans at one end, and then galloped down to the other goal and blasted the ball into. On the ensuing play, Striker Josh Adams was fouled in the box, and he put the PK in easily to tie the game up.

After halftime it was all Horace, his fancy footwork and stellar ballwork easily allowed him to take a few shots on goal and get two more in, completing his first hat trick of his international career.

With the win, The Eagle's Nest stays on top of the group, but now holds it alone as Grand master Mark fell today. TnUI is still a point behind.

Scoring

The Eagle's Nest
Horace - 22, 64, 78 (goals 3,4,5)
J. Adams - 38 (PK) (goal 5)

East Spaam
2 goals scored in the blur of multiple thrown things and the numbers were not recorded.

MatchDay 5 Recap
In what is appearing to be normal, a high scoring day today in the group as the 10 teams scored a combined 23 goals in the games. Grand master Mark lost a share of the group lead when they lost to Audioslavia 2-1, and TnUI stayed a point behind the victorius Nest after a 5-1 thumoing of New Luca. Audioslavia has come on of later after a slow start, and may be a team to watch out for in the long run.

GROUP 1
Total n Utter Insanity 5 - 1 New Luca
East Spaam 2 - 4 The Eagle's Nest
Grand master Mark 1 - 2 Audioslavia
New Montreal States 3 - 1 Kendelstand
Presgreif 0 - 4 Larkinia

[code:1:f0dffc2ff6]
Group 1 Standings - MD5
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 The Eagles Nest 5 4 1 0 15 6 9 13 52
2 Total n Utter Insanity 5 4 0 1 12 3 9 12 51
3 Grand master Mark 5 3 1 1 13 8 5 10 49
4 New Montreal States 5 3 0 2 14 9 5 9 48
5 Audioslavia 5 2 2 1 7 7 0 8 47
6 Larkinia 5 2 0 3 8 9 -1 6 45
7 East Spaam 5 1 2 2 9 9 0 5 44
8 New Luca 5 1 0 4 5 14 -9 3 42
9 Kendelstand 5 1 0 4 4 13 -9 3 42
10Presgreif 5 0 2 3 4 13 -9 2 41
[/code:1:f0dffc2ff6]

The Eagle's Nest Quaification Run

The Eagle's Nest vs. Kendelstand Win 4-0
The Eagle's Nest @ Audioslavia Tie 1-1
The Eagle's Nest vs. New Luca Win 5-3
The Eagle's Nest vs. Total n Utter Insanity Win 1-0
The Eagle's Nest @ East Spaam Win 4-2
The Eagle's Nest vs. Grand master Mark
The Eagle's Nest @ New Montreal States
The Eagle's Nest vs. Presgreif
The Eagle's Nest @ Larkikia
The Eagle's Nest @ Kendelstand
The Eagle's Nest vs. Audioslavia
The Eagle's Nest @ New Luca
The Eagle's Nest @ Total n Utter Insanity
The Eagle's Nest vs. East Spaam
The Eagle's Nest @ Grand master Mark
The Eagle's Nest vs. New Montreal States
The Eagle's Nest @ Presgreif
The Eagle's Nest vs. Larkikia

Lallania

06-05-2004, 01:53

Lallania's Keeper, Bertram Ellenwitz, came up big when it mattered.

Ellenwitz had been facing rumors that he was to be benched for the second half of the preliminary round. So far, he has allowed more goals than any of his peers in Group 10. But in the victory over Melmond, he was much improved, and he helped Lallania secure their second ever international victory.

With games coming up against teams of equal inexperience, coach Filip Gorotia feels that it is do or die time for Lallania.

"We have some tough teams coming up - but these are teams that we have a good chance against. If we can build some momentum, we may be able to surprise some teams. Of course, they're looking at us and thinking the same thing, so we just have to keep at it and stick to our fundamentals."

Lovebug

06-05-2004, 03:01

THE LOVEBUG DAILY POST

May 5,2004

BULLDOGS LOOSE…QUEEN QUESTIONED
By Koni Kornheiser

Alohakulanakauhale
Queen ShyButterfly held a press conference today, as rumors swirled around her supposed interest in the leader of Spaam and the possibility that this interest may have had an affect on the outcome of last nights Bulldog match-up against the Spaam team in WC action.

*Reporters Gathered outside the Castle as the Queen arrived – Flashbulbs went off everywhere, as she steps up to the podium.*
Queen ShyButterfly: Hello everyone. I’m going to make short statement, and hopefully we will be able to put all this nonsense to rest. Yes, I have been speaking with the leader of Spaam but in a purely diplomatic capacity, nothing more. These ridiculous rumors need to stop – our talks I’m sure had nothing to do with the outcome of last nights match-up – there are no conspiracies here. The Bulldogs were beaten fair and square, this just means we have to work extra hard to prepare for when we see them the next time. And as for my relationship with members of the team, they are friends and family – I want to make it clear that I have never been involved with a member of the Bulldogs nor do I plan to be in the future, so jealousy did not in anyway play a role last night. This is all I am going to say on the subject – my personal life is just that – personal – I don’t want to hear another word about this matter. *Turns around and walks out followed by her personal guards*

In any case the Bulldogs suffered their second loss of the competition last night against Spaam 2 to 0. The Bulldog defense was weak against a more experienced Spaam side, allowing them to score goals in both the first and second halves. During the first half Spaam’s Meren Lûin was able to distract Sweeper Raffi "Gorilla" Marley http://www.football-rumours.com/images/EricSabin.jpg allowing Midfielder Elen Súrion to score. During the second half the Dogs made several attempts at scoring – all to no avail. And the Spaam side was able to put up another score by midfielder Tomas Rasa. This is a disappointing loss to the dogs as they now fall to 4th place in the group.

In group news Dance 2 Revolution defeated Carpet 2 – 1, The Belmore Family defeated Alex The Tall 3-2, Raptor Claw and Dadostan ended in a 1 – 1 tie and Tingitana defeated ElephantandCastle 1 - 0 as they remain the uprising undefeated group leaders.

Tonight the dogs face The Belmore Family in Belmore.

The Evil Umpire

06-05-2004, 03:29

The Evil Umpire beats Holy lndia.

Melmond

06-05-2004, 04:56

Worst. Performance. Ever.
It’s Too Horrid To Deserve A Sub-Headline
By Boo Teefull of the Cali Tribune

CALI, MELMOND—Certainly the loss to Lallania 3-2 wasn’t the largest margin Melmond has ever lost to. Those honors go to Svecia and Kaze Progressa who beat the Fearless Farmers 4-nil. However, those sides were teams who have had histories of success in NationStates football. Lallania is a newcomer who was picked to finish last by the always right Melmond Predictor of Football.
So many factors, football and non-football favored the Fearless Farmers. First, it was the first ever sellout of a football match at Xpress Counsel Field as the fans were excited about Melmond obtaining the UN delegate position for the Exclusive Capitalizt Zone. 5,000 fans were also excited as they got talking dolls of their favorite Cali Purples players, Martin Goodwin and Chara Effitont. Melmond had its home crowd, a certain advantage in experience, and the fact that Melmond has never lost to a newcomer to the World Cup scene. It didn’t matter as instead of blowing Lallania away, the Fearless Farmers merely blew.
Let’s keep this painful summary short. First goal went to Lallania at the 22nd minute as Melmond defender Sergio Ortiz made an elementary dribbling error and had the ball easily stolen away of Lallania striker Jean-Luc Brouillard. Brouillard only had Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm in front of him and his fellow strikers on the wings. He basically took the certain goal himself, shooting the ball past the helpless Xtfuinxm.
Second goal also went to Lallania due to another mental lapse by the Melmond side. After furious attack by the Lallania attack, Snhp Xtfuinxm was hasty to pick up the ball and throw it away. It went right to the foot of Lallania midfielder Yvgeny Ollinitch who then fired a ball which was bicycle kicked in the net by Lallania striker Term Fezzel. Fezzel scores the second goal of the match at the 33rd minute as Lallania takes the 2-nil lead in front of an intensely dismayed crowd. Lallania took that lead to the end of the first half.
In the first ten minutes, Melmond’s superstar midfielder Critandi Unne makes a keen individual move, kicking the ball over Lallania defender Andrei Temeodor’s head and outrunning him to only have the goalkeeper in front of hir. S/he makes a dribble to the left and just as Lallania goalkeeper Bertram Ellenwitz dived for the ball, Critandi Unne made hir shot right in the net. Critandi Unne’s goal at the 55th minute puts the Fearless Farmers within one. The fans were beginning to perk with optimism….
…which was quickly deflated by the Lallania side. After a missed off-side call which drew the scowls of the Fearless Farmers faithful, Lallania midfielder Vlad Staltar was able to find striker Alexander Malinov. Malinov makes a shot which looked as if Xtfuinxm was going to make the diving save. Unfortunately, the ball went through Xtfuinxm’s hands. Malinov’s goal at the 59th minute puts Lallania up 3-1. All Snhp Xtfuinxm could do is hang his head.
An angry fan tried the ol’ throwing the talking doll at the referee trick, but his bad aim proved costly for the Fearless Farmers, as the talking doll of Melmond captain and Cali native Martin Goodwin hit the eye of Melmond’s superstar midfielder Critandi Unne. S/he had to be taken out of the game and was replaced by Cali Purples player Chara Effitont. Just like Critandi Unne, the fan was out of the game as well.
Melmond striker Chris Owen would follow Critandi Unne and the fan as he makes a huge mental mistake. While trying to jockey for position of a cross, Owen grabs the back of the neck of Lallania defender Reggie Cross and pushes him down on the pitch. Owen gets the red card and the heave ho at the 68th minute. After losing its star player to injury and its leading scorer to a red card, Manager Felix Coostatlwak knew that he needed to inject some offence into the game. He replaces midfielder Cristina Antunez with striker Diallo Unne, giving the Fearless Farmers a physical front line.
The physicality paid off at the 76th minute. Martin Goodwin dazzled the hometown crowd with one of his excellent crosses. Diallo Unne was able to screen the nearest defender away and Mornakh the Bloody Handed was able to put it past Bertram Ellenwitz to make the score 3-2.
As the sun in the match sets, a surprise ending may be in store for the crowd. Lallania defender Reggie Cross, still a little cross after being pushed by Chris Owen makes a late tackle on Diallo Unne. Cross was given a yellow card and Diallo Unne was given a penalty shot. The advantage was overwhelmingly Diallo Unne’s as he is known as a clutch goal-getter and Lallania goalkeeper Bertram Ellenwitz has been struggling. Diallo Unne makes a hard shot to the left, but Ellenwitz guesses correctly and makes the immaculate save. He renews confidence in the team and himself as Lallania gets the upset win 3-2.
After the match, Chris Owen acknowledged his error on the pitch, “I lost my temper, I just resented the fact that we were losing to such a horrible side, and I just snapped. I feel as if I cost my team the game.” Young goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm admits, “We were looking ahead to Eauz. It’s excited to play the defending champions. Unfortunately we had this feisty side first.”

Goals
Brouillard, LAL 22nd
Fezzel, LAL 33rd
C. Unne, MEL 55th
Malinov, LAL 59th
Bloody Handed, MEL 76th

Cards
Owen, MEL 68th
Cross, LAL 89th

Standings

Other Group 10 Results
Brazillico 4 – Oceaice 1
The Weegies 0 – Europa Brittania 0
EL CID THE HERO 0 – Eauz 2
Largent 1 – The Confederate 2

[code:1:ece6b3bcb7]Group 10
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Brazillico 15 5 0 0 16:5 11
2. Europa Brittania 10 3 1 1 9:3 6
3. The Confederate 10 3 1 1 12:10 2
4. EL CID THE HERO 9 3 0 2 11:8 3
5. Eauz 9 3 0 2 8:5 3
6. Largent 6 2 0 3 8:11 -3
7. Lallania 6 2 0 3 7:14 -7
8. Melmond 5 1 2 2 10:9 1
9. Oceaice 1 0 1 4 6:14 -8
10. The Weegies 1 0 1 4 2:10 -8[/code:1:ece6b3bcb7]

Melmond Team Stats
Goals: Chris Owen (4), Critandi Unne (2), Mornakh the Bloody Handed (2), Benjamin Leeb (1)
Cards: Chris Owen (1), Scott Cheney (1)

The Melmond National Team Schedule

@ EL CID THE HERO L 2-1
@ Oceaice T 1-1
v Largent (Microcosm Stadium, Aldi) W 3-0
@ The Confederate T 3-3
v Lallania (Xpress Counsel Field, Cali) L 3-2
@ Eauz
v Europa Brittania (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne)
@ Brazillico
v The Weegies (Frankndottir Stadium, Acosta)
v EL CID THE HERO (Woocat Books Ballpark, O’Connor)
v Oceaice (Lifedonations Stadium, Morales)
@ Largent
v The Confederate (MPNK Stadium, Faasen)
@ Lallania
v Eauz (White Bread Dome, Suburbia)
@ Europa Brittania
v Brazillico (Melmond Bowl, Melmond City)
@ The Weegies

Next Game
at Eauz

Melmond is currently in 8th place with 5 points. This is certainly not where the Fearless Farmers imagined themselves at this point before running through the gauntlet of Eauz, Europa Brittania, and Brazillico. Their point level may be low, but Melmond has a positive goal differential and has been in every game. Considering the abundance of upsets in this tournament, Melmond could pull one off against Eauz if Les Blues are caught napping. Melmond has one trump card, I mean trump dice. We talk to Mr. Voodoo Dice himself, who dubs himself the Melmond Manipulator. He says, “Since the use of black magic was outlawed in Melmond, our family had to use its black magic skill in other areas, so we concentrated on football. The voodoo dice worked for both the teams who are playing in this one. I believe Eauz owes us one if these babies….where are they…I don’t have them…I LEFT THE VOODOO DICE IN COSTA LOT!” More woes for Melmond… Here is the starting lineup where original starter Benjamin Leeb replaces leading scorer Chris Owen who is serving a two game red card suspension. Critandi Unne has been cleared to play.

GK- Snhp Xtfuinxm
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Scott Cheney
D- Nina Steen
M- Martin Goodwin
M- Critandi Unne
M- Camui Arai
M- Cristina Antunez
F- Mornakh the Bloody Handed
F- Benjamin Leeb

For tickets to Eauz and the match, call the Therewegoes Travel Agency at 3-18-357-9009. There are few tickets reserved so call very soon!!! Eauz is filled with fun loving Frenchy peoples who have a gusto for life and who feels very secure with the government taking care of them. The football side isn’t as lazy though.

Spaam

06-05-2004, 05:44

SPAAM SPORTS DAILY

Love is in the air....

Lovebug Succumb To Spaam

Close allies Lovebug and Spaam were equal in Group 8 before this match,
and so an exciting game was predicted from all quarters, and exciting it
was, with the sexiest players in the world fighting for football supremacy.
The attack from both sides was impressive, but the male dominated
defense of the Lovebugese were no match for the bouncing breasts of
Meren Lûin, ELiza Dushku, Elen Súrion, and Mykel Strvá. Both teams
managed to hold out the opponents until the 26th minute, when Meren Lûin
and Elen Súrion combined to score, Raffi Marley blinded by the females'
movements.

Luckily that was the only goal of the first half, but Lovebug was still unable
to get one past, not for lack of shots. The second half proved to be a
mirror of the first, with the defense marking Meren Lûin and Mykel Strvá,
and neglecting midfielder Tomas Rasa who managed to be in the clear
from a Nala Eromleb corner shot in the 76th minute. The final 2-0
scoreline didn't necessarily reflect the performance of Lovebug, who had
as many shots on goal as the Spaamanians, but just failed to convert. The
two coaches were scheduled for an interview after the game, but were last
seen heading for a motel.

Lovebug 0
Spaam 2
(Súrion 26; Rasa 76)

President And Queen Love Rumours Denied

Rumours of an involvement between the President of Spaam and the
Queen of Lovebug have been fiercely denied by the two heads of state,
stating that their negotiations are of a purely diplomatic nature. However,
paparazzi from both nations are having a field day, with many of the
tabloids featuring pictures of the two rulers in passionate embraces within
the Queen's residential compound. The news, which has come during the
Spaamanian football tour of the nation, that culminated in a 2-0 qualifying
win to Spaam, has angered the government of both sides, with legal action
a high possibility.

Review And Preview

Tingitana has continued its incredible run in the World Cup preliminary
competition, winning its 5th straight match 1-0 at home against Elephant
and Castle. The win keeps them at the top of the table, with Elephant and
Castle slipping to equal last. Spaam now shares second place with the
only team that has beaten them, Dance 2 Revolution, who won at home,
with a 2-1 score against Carpet, who stays in 7th place. Lovebug slipped
to 4th, and is now even with the Belmore Family, who had an exciting 3-2
away win against Alex the Tall, who remains in 6th place. See the back
page for the table.

Spaam plays Raptor Claw at home next week, in what should be an easy
win for the group favourites. Meanwhile, the Belmore Family host
Lovebug, in what should be a close match, with most critics backing
Lovebug as favourites. Finally, Tingitana should keep their top spot, as
they face Dadostan away.

The Back Page

[code:1:bc6d6aee95]GROUP 8 P W D L F A GD Points
Tingitana 5 5 0 0 8 3 +5 15 WWWWW
Spaam 5 4 0 1 9 2 +7 12 WWLWW
Dance 2 Revolution 5 4 0 1 10 5 +5 12 WWWLW
Lovebug 5 3 0 2 10 7 +3 9 WLWWL
The Belmore Family 5 3 0 2 10 8 +2 9 WLLWW
Alex The Tall 5 2 0 3 8 8 0 6 LWWLL
Carpet 5 1 1 3 5 9 -4 4 LDWLL
Raptor Claw 5 0 3 2 6 9 -3 3 LDLDD
Elephant and Castle 5 0 1 4 4 11 -7 1 LLLDL
Dadostan 5 0 1 4 4 12 -8 1 LLLLD [/code:1:bc6d6aee95]

[code:1:bc6d6aee95]Spaam 3 Carpet 0
Spaam 1 The Belmore Family 0
Dance 2 Revolution 2 Spaam 1
Spaam 2 Alex The Tall 0
Lovebug 0 Spaam 2[/code:1:bc6d6aee95]

[code:1:bc6d6aee95]SPAAM P W D L F A GD Points
Total 5 4 0 1 9 2 +7 12
Home 3 3 0 0 6 0 +6 9
Away 2 1 0 1 2 3 +1 3[/code:1:bc6d6aee95]

[code:1:bc6d6aee95]No. Name P G Ave
[2] Meren Lûin 4 4 1.00
[1] Nala Eromleb 4 2 0.50
[3] Eman Olisade 3 1 0.33
[5] Elen Súrion 4 1 0.25
[6] Tomas Rasa 4 1 0.25
------------------------------------
[11] Alátari Súrion 5 2 0.40[/code:1:bc6d6aee95]

[code:1:bc6d6aee95]Highlight on Alátari Súrion
---------------------------
Minutes without conceding a goal: 208
Most minutes without conceding: 208[/code:1:bc6d6aee95]

06-05-2004, 07:05

WARRIORS BATTLE BACK TO EARN DRAW

The Warriors certainly could not go into today's match against Sqournshelous expecting to win, but rallying from a 0-2 deficit in the final ten minutes is a moral victory. The Sqourns scored twice in the first half and appeared to have the match well in hand, until the Larsons decided to take the match into their own feet. First, it was Thomas finding a weak spot in the defense to get a clean shot away that found the bottom right corner to cut the lead to 1-2 in the 82nd minute. Then, in the 89th minute, Kelly helped the Warriors complete the comeback as she took an attempted shot by her husband and redirected it past the startled keeper and into the net. After the match was evened, it looked like the Warriors might pull out the victory in stoppage time, but William Harper's penalty shot clanged off the post in the closing moments. The Warriors have now completed the first two legs of their difficult three match stretch that concludes with a home match against the runaway group leaders from Tanah Burung. The Warriors would probably be thrilled with another draw in that match, but it would be great to see them earn a win at home.

Praying2God 2
Sqournshelous 2

Goals:
<Sqournshelous player> (17th, 39th minutes)
Larson (82nd minute from Harper, 3rd of Cup)
Carter Larson (89th minute from Larson, 2nd of Cup)

Unofficial Group 4 Standings:
Tanah Burung 5-0-1, 17-6 +11, 16 pts
Sqournshelous 2-1-3, 12-7 +5, 9 pts
Praying2God 2-1-3, 7-6 +1, 9 pts
Rejistania 2-2-2, 10-7 +3, 8 pts
Iansisle 2-2-2, 13-11 +2, 8 pts
Vilita 2-2-2, 9-10 -1, 8 pts
Crysilakere 2-2-2, 10-13 -3, 8 pts
Danilotown 2-3-1, 10-19 -9, 7 pts
Hawcoat 0-2-4, 11-14 -3, 4 pts
Ineptia 0-4-2, 5-11 -6, 2 pts

Brazillico

06-05-2004, 07:14

The mood is decidedly sombre at the airport, as one would expect when a hugely-hyped team hasn't won in 6. The feeling was almost mutinous, ready for a full-scale revolution, as fans who'd poured in from all corners of The Weegies prepared their boarding passes to return to their normal lives. A short, pasty man wearing a flannel shirt and faded jeans walks through the metal detector and triggers the alarm.

Airport security: Empty your pockets, sir.

The short man empties his pockets and places his wallet, a fistful of coins and a neatly folded sheet of paper on the tray. Between the folded edges of the sheet, the security guard makes out the words SCOUTING REPORT neartly typed upon the sheet.

Security guy: Top secret stuff, eh?

Scout: Yeah.

Security guy: Don't mind if I have a look, do ya?

Scout: It is kinda secret...

The security guard, who probably has eight inches and fifty pounds on the scout unfolds the paper and begins to read its contents.

Scouting Report - Brazillico

Goalkeeping:
Brazillico is blessed with two very skilled goaltenders in David Robinho and Lisa Cannon. Both are relatively small, with David Robinho relying on a solid positional game and Lisa Cannon using her reflexes as her best asset. Either one can start and either one can steal a game on any given night.

Defense:
Brazillico has a lot of size on defense and likes to play physical with opposing attackers. Despite their size and strength, the defense core is still quite mobile, particularly on the bookends with R. Cannon and Damon. The wing-backs love to apply tons of pressure and force opposing players to the outside and to long crosses. Inside the box, Pink and Hilario are great at clearing the ball, as well as being solid tacklers. They keep things very simple, force turnovers and boot it back up field.

Midfield:
Brazillico likes to place there midfielders in a 1-2-1 shaped diamond. Maracana will usually sit back and help clog up the Brazillican box. Filipo Cannon plays a very similar style and is also very proficient at winning the ball, except he'll mix it up offensively a bit more. Tobias Cannon is a little runt who is pretty useless besides passing and shooting, which he excels at. I found that Toby is at his best when he has time and space, and he commited his fair share of turnovers when pressured. Junior Socrates is an offensive genius, and seems to make the right decision almost every time he has the ball near the box. His only flaw would be his unwillingness to shoot, usually opting for the extra pass.

Attack:
Alex and Sandro Cannon are arguably the most skilled tandem in international football right now, with Brazillico's 18 goals in six games standing as a testament to that. Their passing game, finishing ability, ball control and speed are all above average, although Alex is a slightly more gifted finisher. The biggest fault to be found with this duo is their lack of size, which becomes evident when opposing defenses start stacking up their box. Brazillico also has Octavio Quintana on the bench, a 6'3", 17 year old attacker whom Cosmo will use if the size and strength issue is too much for the Cannon twins to handle.

Tendancies:
-As I mentioned before, Brazillico loves to force teams to try to cross balls into the box, since they are so adept at clearing them. This is usually their basis to their counterattack. A quick pass up to Junior Socrates and their counter is upon you. Alex, Sandro and Junior Socrates are too good and too quick with open space and burn opposing defenses frequently with this tactic. The counterattack is LETHAL.
-With a counterattack of that potency, Brazillico loves to get out to an early lead and then to just sit on it. The increase in pressure by opposing teams as a result, loans perfectly to their counterattacking style and is the way they've gotten out to their two-three goal leads. If they go up by two, they basically drop two midfielders back and play a 6-2-2.
-Brazillico has a knack for converting on set plays. Tobias Cannon's strengths play into them and is one of the best in the game at taking them. They'll also gamble and bring some of their bigger bodies into the box, including Maracana and Pink, both of home have superb heading ability. Defense has to be on their toes, as Brazillico is a threat to score from a dead ball situation via a shot or a pass.

How to beat Brazillico:
-Direct your attacks towards the left side: Johnny Damon has a hard time picking up plays and Todd Pink can be beaten by swift attackers. Passes should be kept short before Brazillico can organize themselves in the box. Rollie Cannon and Paul Hilario seem bulletproof on that right side.
-Keep a lot of people back: Brazillico basically sends only three people on most attacks, and they thrive on open space. The best approach to remedy this, is to keep plenty of players back. Remember, this side tore through Europa Britannia's 3-4-3, scoring the only three goals that defense has allowed to date.
-Pressure Tobias Cannon Cannon is often accounted upon to launch the Brazillican counterattack, playing it up to one of their "scoring threats". His decision making is poor when he's under fire, and under continuous pressure, he's bound to make a mistake and Brazillico will be caught on their counter-attack. Also, people should bump him around/rough him up as much as possible, since he hates it and it'll take him off his game. Brazillico's a well-oiled machine who haven't gone 6-0 for nothing, and if you can disrupt this guy, you're removing a critical piece of their puzzle.
-Be patient:This team thrives on poor decision making by the other team, usually resulting by frustration of not being able to put the ball in the net. Perseverance is the key here, this team has only kept one clean sheet in six matches, so the goals will come.

Security Guy: Good stuff. Hope Melmond has better luck 'gainst them than we did.

Scout: How did you know I was from Melmond?

Security Guy: I snuck a peak inside your wallet at the same time. :wink:

Giant Zucchini

06-05-2004, 08:21

NEWSFLASH:

The Zucchinis have found their form yet again, defeating Jerusalem 3-0 at home. The match got off with the desired start, Woog providing the through pass for Phoot, whose shot hit the post. After a barrage of attacks from the Zucchinis, the first goal was finally scored just before half time, Phoot laying up for Zonk to slam his shot into the back of the net.

The second half started just like the first, the Zucchinis attacking right from the outset. Zonk was played through the defence by a brilliant Narf pass, and his shot was just palmed away. Ppakkaddumm's corner found the head of Zurk, and the ball was firmly planted into the bottom corner. Phoot displayed his magic in the 79th minute, retrieving the ball deep in his own half, he rounded a Jerusalem midfielder, then jinked past another 2 as if they weren't there, before holding his own against the Jerusalem defence, who were sliding around him in all directions. He finished off his move by rounding the Jerusalem keeper, then tapping the ball into an empty net. Naturally, he was named man of the match, and the Zucchinis are in prime position to take 3rd spot, and are hoping to progress even further in the group.

Belmorian Scandinavia

06-05-2004, 08:24

Nils Nilsson and Lars Larsson again watch the game of the Scandinavians.

LL: Again we are trashed. it's 0-2 now and still 20 minutes to play.

NN: Yeah, the Dennisian team is really superior.

LL: I tell you, it's the Rejistanians!

NN: They at least care about our team. The Belmorians were much less interested.

LL: I tell you why: They suck!

NN: The Junis-Omeh'ny were already world champions, the Belmores are yet to reach the semis.

LL: But currently the "lasane'het" sucks.

NN: True. Hey, you used a rejistanian word.

LL: I didn't.

NN: You called the rejistanian national team the lasane'het.

LL: Oh f*ck! (that was merely because the dennis striker <can'tfindroster> leaves Nils Erkisson chanceless and archieves the 0:3)

NN: Let's switch the channel. (changes to TV-R, where the Vilita-match is broadcasted)

LL: Yay, 3:1, go Rejis!!

Rejistania

06-05-2004, 09:44

From the KaMaRi Update, international edition

You win again
The Orange-Blues defeated Vilita with the score of 4-1. The first international match in the Niadi Junis stadium in Niadi kali, Nanti Kansu saw a match where the Orange-Blues finally stoped underarchieving and played one of the best matches in a long time.

The national team was still the Orange-Blues and not their holographic version, because in their last simulations, three players bluescreened and the FIFA-rules don't allow to reboot players. The human Orange-Blues started strongly. Maybe they feared of becoming unemployed if the holohgraphic team somewhen gets finished. Again Liy Ra started instead of Xeran Susu and Ita Syku instead of Hana Yla. The Vilitan defense made some unnessecary mistakes (are there nessecary ones?) and by this allowed the Orange-Blues some good chances. Until the tenth minute, the defense and the goalkeeper were lucky enough not to allow any rejistanian goals, but in the 11th minute, Koleni'he and Tihrana had their third 100%-chance in this match and Tihrana capitalized it. Tia~e'he's header went in the upper left corner of the goal, and Corsi'he could not get it. During the entire first half, the Orange-blues dominated the match and increased the score to a comfortable 3-0 win. One of the goals came after one of the feared counter-attacks and was archieved by Mata Koleni, the other was archieved by Tihrana after a corner kick of Idine Takil (not related to Laxtu Takil).
The second half was again the time for the System Karela. The Orange-Blues didn't want to risk their lead and played a very defensive style of match. The Vilitans attacked fiercly and in the 68th minute, they were succesfull: Banda'he and Salomon'he outsmarted the rejis defense and Banda'he archieved the consolation goal. The rest of the match saw again the really defensive and not-risking-anything Orange-Blues give the fierce attacks of the Vilitans no chance. A sudden and unexpected counter-attack in the 84th minute, surprised the Vilitans and caused the 4-1, scored by midfielder Ita Syku, which was the final score.

The result:
Rejistania 4 (Tia~e 11th 38th, Koleni 25th, Syku)
Vilita 1 (Banda 68th)

Total n Utter Insanity

06-05-2004, 09:48

Official Qualifying Predictions

Group 1
The Eagles Nest has been a suprise packet, and has managed to slip into
11th in the official KPB rankings. If their recent performance continues,
they have an excellent chance of topping this group. Audioslavia and
TnUI are the perennial bitches of the World Cup, and this may play
against them, though Audioslavia should be safe for a spot. TnUI might
have to watch out for a resurgence of East Spaam, giving a good fight for
3rd.

1. The Eagles Nest
2. Audioslavia
3. East Spaam
4. Total n Utter Insanity

Watch out for: Larkinia

TnUI pooh-pooh Spaamanian "Predictions"

A third of the way through qualifying...
[code:1:998e85cea9]Name P W D L F A Pts
The Eagle's Nest 6 5 1 0 17 7 16
Total n Utter Insanity 6 5 0 1 13 3 15
Audioslavia 6 3 2 1 10 8 11
Grand Master Mark 6 3 1 2 14 10 10
New Montreal States 6 3 0 3 15 12 9
Larkinia 6 2 1 3 9 10 7
Kendelstand 6 2 0 4 6 13 6
East Spaam 6 1 2 3 9 10 5
New Luca 6 1 1 4 6 15 4
Presgreif 6 0 2 4 4 15 2[/code:1:998e85cea9]
...and TnUI stand firm in second. An East Spaam resurgence looks as likely as TEU winning an RPing award. The Spaamanian rag was unavailable for comment, but we have managed to piece together an approximation of what we believe the reply would have been:

"I'm telling my mom on you!"

06-05-2004, 09:48

Shang-Ti National News Agency –

TWIGGY Injured, To Sit Out Latest Match

The fledgling Shang-Ti Tigres have been dealt a possibly severe blow during its recent 0-1 loss against Wella as star Goal Keeper Michael “Twiggy” Peters suffered severe bruising of his shoulders during a hard landing to block.

The injury occurred during minute 83 of the match against Wella as Peters dove against an attempted goal. Peters collided with teammate Defender Eric Lu. Team doctors said that the collision did not lead to a dislocation, merely severe bruising of the shoulders. However, coach Stuart Lin indicated replacement Goal Keeper Shane Lao will play against Nanakaland in the next match. Team doctors hope to have Peters back within a day or two.

Liverpool England

06-05-2004, 09:57

The World Cup Group 7 Liverpool England Update: MD6

[code:1:48c7eea8dd]Liverpool England 2:0 Runaway Moose
- Johnson 17
- Grånigèñ 90+1[/code:1:48c7eea8dd]

Decaltré Jomans reports from Grover's Park, Orean with additional reporting done by Jimmy Redfern and John Fromlowitz in City Centre of Liverpool

An amazing game which produced two goals, and one from a debutant. In a game where Liverpool England were lacking top-scorer Chris Hawkins from suspension, two superb goals were put past the Runaway Moose defence.

The two teams last met in World Cup Eight, when Liverpool England went on to win the World Cup. This is, unfortunately, no doubt going to be Runaway Moose's last World Cup, with no application having been received by the WCC for entrance into WC15.

It started in the fifteenth minute. Dominic Dirosa sparked a superb move by sending the ball down the left flank 50 yards into openess, showing the defensive incapabilities of the Runaway Moose side, and debutant Joseph Grånigèñ [Joe Granigen], born to a Liverpool Englander father and Belmorian Scandinavian mother, crossed the ball perfectly into the box, where a mad defensive scramble allowed Kelvin Johnson to tap it in.

Grånigèñ himself completed the rout in stoppage time at the end, a superb 18-yard side-footed shot curling past the keeper into the net.

[FURTHER REPORTING]
Liverpool England's Current World Cup Form:
P6 W5 D0 L1 ₧15 Position in group 7: 2

SPOTLIGHT ON
Joseph Grånigèñ
Age: 18
City of Birth: Folenisa, Liverpool England
Citizenship: Dual, Liverpool England/Rejistanian
Currently Living in: Rejistania for four years, naturalised Rejistanian citizen
Club: nil club
Caps/Goals: 1/1

The Lowland Clans

06-05-2004, 11:57

Graham City Sun - World Cup Qualifying Coverage

TLC Stars vs Republic Army

Starting Line Up
[code:1:0063c85ffc]
---------Pollack-----Graham-----Blackwing-----Jeremy---------

--------------Julios---------Illius---------Devon-------------

----------West--------------McGraff-----------Jergen---------[/code:1:0063c85ffc]

GRAHAM CITY - The Stars today where ready at home to receive the strangely militant Republican Army team. The game took a seemingly forever to play, because their coaches kept shooting the players who screwed up. Despite this, the Stars still managed to totally out perform the Army save their quick outburst of skill near the end of the game.

This game was meant to give some of the subs some starting time, allowing them to gain valuable experience. They excelled greatly, with Jasper Graham using his consistent nature to outplay almost everyone on the field. He scored both goals for the Stars today.

TLC Stars 2 - 1 Republican Army
Graham (35th, 81st, Pollack assist, Julios Assist)

Tadjikistan

06-05-2004, 15:00

http://www.internews.tj/russian/images/newlogo1.gif

Fans not happy

Kerla - Tadjikistan failed to win its match in Kerla today, Kerla got a 1-0 win. The team played a good match but the attackers could not score, while the defense held off all Kerlan attacks. It would have resulted in a draw, until a tackle in the 89th minute by Luchinsky. Luchinsky received a yellow card, and Kerla got a penalty. The Kerlan player kicked but Bogdanov hit the ball with his fist, the ball ended up at the left foot of a Kerlan player who kicked the ball in the right corner of the goal, Bogdanov could not reach it in time.

The fans are not happy with the way things are going for the moment, three losses in a row are too much. 7600 fans expressed that feeling in Kerla today, followed by the fans in Tadjikistan. TNFF president Frunze agreed with the fans that things are going bad, but the team was playing good and results would follow. Frunze also said that the last few matches have been very hard, playing against opponents that are ranked much higher then Tadjikistan.

Coach Yakir refused to give any comment on the situation, even when asked about the team that will play against Dennisov,number 27 on the world ranking list, Yakir answerred with a clear "njet". Not really a surprising answer if you know that Yakir once served as assistent to Isserson.

M1: Tadjikistan - Intelligent Madness W 2-1
M2: Aerigia - Tadjikistan W 1-3
M3: Tadjikistan - Keyshona W 3-1
M4: Bobbystan - Tadjikistan L 2-1
M5: Tadjikistan - Bedistan L 1-2
M6: Kerla - Tadjikistan L 1-0
M7: Tadjikistan - Dennisov
M8: Belmorian Scandinavia - Tadjikistan
M9: Tadjikistan - Vollmeria
M10: Intelligent Madness - Tadjikistan
M11: Tadjikistan - Aerigia
M12: Keyshona - Tadjikistan
M13: Tadjikistan - Bobbystan
M14: Bedistan - Tadjikistan
M15: Tadjikistan - Kerla
M16: Dennisov - Tadjikistan
M17: Tadjikistan - Belmorian Scandinavia
M18: Vollmeria - Tadjikistan

The Evil Umpire

06-05-2004, 16:04

The Evil Umpire loses to Tepalguana 3-2.

Audioslavia

06-05-2004, 16:31

...and those match reports in full:

Take a Luca That
'slaves perform against newbs

Audioslavia overcame a fledgling Luca side 2-0 in the SNA today in front of 90,000 fans.

Donal Faulder, on his debut for the 'slaves, smashed in an early goal to give the 'slaves the lead after ten minutes of dominance in the game.

Twenty-five minutes later Aaron O`Malley raced onto a Faulder through-ball and flicked the ball past the advancing keeper for 2-0.

The 'slaves looked comfortable throughout the game but for a spell in the second half where New Luca started finding their feet. Scott had to stretch to make two saves, but the young 'slave defence held firm and held on to the final whistle

FINAL SCORE
Audioslavia 2 (Faulder 9, O`Malley 32)
New Luca 0

The Eagles Best
...but the 'slaves salvage a point

After an easy time against New Luca, Audioslavia were almost run off their own field against a strong Eagles Nest side.

The Eagles outplayed the 'slaves in the first half, with Bigalow and Secour coming close. The five-man TEN midfield were having the better of the five-man Audioslavia midfield, and it showed when The Eagles took the lead in the thirtieth minute with a Josh Adams header.

Audioslavia came out in the second half having made two changes. Declan Riley was replaced by Jordi Neeskens, and Xavier replaced an awfully underperforming Jeff Jordan.

The benefit of the two substitutions wasn't felt immediately, as TEN broke through a tatty 'slave defence again and again.

As the game wore on and the 'slaves defence tightened up, Audioslavia gave The 'Nest everything they had. O`Malley missed a couple of chances before, in the ninety-first minute, a winding Jensen run down the wing released Willow to flick the ball over the goalkeeper. The ball hit the bar, but O`Malley was on hand to sweep the ball into the goal to earn Audioslavia a point.

FINAL SCORE
Audioslavia 1 (O`Malley 91)
The Eagles Nest 1 (Adams 30)

Total 'n Utter Insanity
'Slaves Battered by Vengeful Insanicians

An Audioslavian team smuggled into TnUI by virtue of putting them all in small boxes and poking everyone in the eye, was humiliated 3-0 against a surprisingly adept Total 'n Utter Insanity side

Alan Belless scored all three TnUI goals in the first three minutes, and spent the other eighty-seven minutes running rings round all the claret shirts to the delight of the home crowd.

FINAL SCORE
Total 'n Utter Insanity 3 (Belless 1, 2, 3)
Audioslavia 0

Wham, Bam, Two-Two Spaam
Just 5 points taken from 3 home games

The sheer speed in which Audioslavia went from being 2-0 up and cruising to being 2-2 and getting slaughtered was frightening.

O`Malley and Jensen had put Audioslavia 2-0 with headed goals either side of half-time, Riley, Reid, Pearce and Carsley had been keeping the East Spaamanians at bay with aplomb, but for a five minute period in the final minutes, the tides turned in an unfathomable fashion.

As Audioslavia's defence crumbled and their midfield lost the ability to string any passes together, East Spaam scored through <Forums Suck> and <Forums Rgay>, and rattled the Audioslavian post on two occasions. Reid was sent off for a hacking challenge on <Forums Argh> and Audioslavia ended the game in dis-array.

FINAL SCORE
Audioslavia 2 (O`Malley 39, Jensen 52)
East Spaam 2 (Gay Forums 81, 83)

Malley Masters Grand
Second win in five games

A solid second-half performance swept Grand Master Mark out of the way, but not before GMM had scared the 'slaves. The Marks had took the lead after six minutes of the first half, repeating the knife-through-butter trick so practiced by TEN and East Spaam in the previous games.

Audioslavia managed to contain the Marks, and in the second half Jeff Jordan and Jonny Willow put the 'slaves into a two goal lead after a heavy spell of pressure.

GMM hit the post in the final minute, but couldnt find it in them to deny Audioslavia only their second win in five games.

FINAL SCORE
Grand Master Mark 1 (Dude 6)
Audioslavia 2 (Jordan 62, Willow 66)

Montreal Comedy Festival
Two Comical Own-Goals Give 'Slaves Three Points

Despite taking an early lead against a resurgent NMS side, Audioslavia again found themselves with their backs against the wall in their own stadium. A goal from the NMS number 9 equalised on thirty minutes, and after rattling the crossbar five minutes later, Audioslavia looked like having another bad day at the office.

Fortunately, two unbelievable errors in the New Monty States defence saw Audioslavia pull into possibly the least-deserved two-goal lead in NS history... if the NS historypeople keep such boring records like that.

First of all, a back-pass by an NMS defender, completely free at the back, bobbled between the goalkeepers legs and into the goal. The stadium erupted in laughter, and had barely stopped their hysterics by the time a harmless Jensen cross was flicked onto the goalkeepers face by a hapless defender and ricocheted into the roof of the goal.

Audioslavia held on til the end to leapfrog the Montreal States and pull themselves up to third place - a brilliant achievment in light of their awful recent home form.

FINAL SCORE
Audioslavia 3 (Croft 7, NMSDUDE 61 OG, NMSDUDE 65 OG)
New Montreal States 1 (Number Nine, 34)

[code:1:c0ff4b9eeb]
Table - Group 1 P W L D F-A Pts
1. The Eagle's Nest 6 5 1 0 17-7 16
2. Total n Utter Insanity 6 5 0 1 13-3 15
3. Audioslavia 6 3 2 1 10-8 11
4. Grand Master Mark 6 3 1 2 14-10 10
5. New Montreal States 6 3 0 3 15-12 9
6. Larkinia 6 2 1 3 9-10 7
7. Kendelstand 6 2 0 4 6-13 6
8. East Spaam 6 1 2 3 9-10 5
9. New Luca 6 1 1 4 6-15 4
10.Presgreif 6 0 2 4 4-15 2 [/code:1:c0ff4b9eeb]

At this early stage in the season, The Eagles Nest and Total 'n Utter Insanity find themselves four points clear of the rest on 16 and 15 points respectively. Audioslavia are third by a point ahead of two of the only sides theyve beaten so far: Grand Master Mark and New Montreal States.
Larkinia are, as predicted by the Spaamanian press, there or thereabouts in sixth, although therye already four points out of a qualifying spot.

Kendelstand lie seventh, ahead of a surprisingly awful East Spaam side who have only one win to their name. New Luca are a point behind in ninth, whilst Presgreif prop up the table as the only team without a win to their name.

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake, g'nite bitches

[code:1:c0ff4b9eeb]
A bit of history:

World Cup IV
Qualifying
W4-2 Enelando
L1-2 Alhana Catherine
W3-2 Dyelibeybi
L1-2 Lemmitania
W3-1 Divine Llama
L0-1 Lunatic Goofballs

First Round
D3-3 Kingsford
W2-1 Jurrasica
D1-1 Europa Brittania

Second Round
D1-1 Lemmitania (D1-1AET L2-3PEN)

P W D L F A
10 4 2 4 19 16

World Cup V
L0-4 Squornshelous
L0-3 One Red Dot
L0-1 Hendland
W4-0 Halfassedstates
W3-2 Caras Sidh
W2-1 Dark Outcasts
D1-1 Christofi

8-Way-Playoff
L1-2 Moyk

P W D L F A
8 3 1 4 11 14

World Cup VI
Qualifying
W2-0 Great White Sharks
D3-3 _AMP
W4-3 Porvoo
W4-1 Jay Cutter
W3-2 Cobra Cult
W6-0 Iuthia
D1-1 Starving Children
W2-1 Great White Sharks
D1-1 _AMP
W1-0 Porvoo
L2-3 Jay Cutter
D1-1 Cobra Cult
W2-0 Iuthia
L2-3 Starving Children

First Round
L0-3 Spaam
D1-1 Lemmitania
W2-1 Cobra Cult

P W D L F A
17 9 5 3 37 24

World Cup VII
First Round
L3-4 Malundar
W3-1 Liverpool England
W1-0 Kingsford

Second Round 18
D2-2 Errinundera (L2-4AET)

P W D L F A
4 2 0 2 9 9

World Cup VIII
Qualifying
W4-0 Sycoes
L1-2 Black Eagle Corps.
W2-1 Voyger
W2-0 Demonic Beings
D1-1 Quohog
D1-1 Sycoes
D0-0 Black Eagle Corps
D2-2 Voyger
D0-0 Demonic Beings
D1-1 Quohog

First Round
L1-2 Halfassedstates
L2-3 The Belmore Family
W3-1 Bullonien

P W D L F A
13 4 6 3 20 14

World Cup IX
Qualifying
W2-0 Clearwater
L0-2 Lanky Dude
D1-1 Sensual Products
L0-1 East Spaam
D0-0 Timway
L0-1 Aquilla
W2-0 Spaam
W3-1 Clearwater
W3-1 Lanky Dude
W1-0 Sensual Products
W2-0 East Spaam
W3-2 Timway
D0-0 Aquilla
L0-1 Spaam

First Round
L1-2 The Belmore Family
D1-1 Oglethorpia
W1-0 Nikea

P W D L F A
17 8 4 5 20 13

World Cup X
Qualifying
W2-1 Svecia
W3-0 Dauragons
L1-2 Zinkoland
W3-0 Citta Acqua
L1-2 Dragonian Empire
W2-0 Davii
L0-1 Clearwater
W3-1 Ravenspire
W1-0 Svecia
W3-0 Dauragons
L2-3 Zinkoland
W2-0 Citta Acqua
W2-1 Dragonian Empire
W3-1 Davii
L0-1 Clearwater
D1-1 Ravenspire

First Round
L1-2 Lemmitania
W1-0 Total 'n Utter Insanity
W3-0 Commerce Heights

Second Round
L0-1 Kingsford

P W D L F A
20 12 1 7 34 17

World Cup XI
Qualifying
D0-0 Oddslavo
W1-0 Mattigool
W3-0 Lynnwoode
W2-0 Artemsia Absentia
W2-0 Ice Reavers
L0-2 Aquilla
W2-0 Big Butts
D0-0 Oddslavo
W4-1 Mattigool
W2-1 Lynnwoode
W2-0 Artemsia Absentia
W4-0 Ice Reavers
D1-1 Aquilla
D1-1 Big Butts

First Round
W1-0 Total n Utter Insanity
W3-2 Runaway Moose
W1-0 Kerla

Second Round
L0-1 Europa Brittania

P W D L F A
18 12 4 2 29 9

World Cup XII
Qualifying
W2-1 EL CID THE HERO
D1-1 Iansisle
W4-0 Abysmalistan
L0-1 East Spaam
W4-2 James A Hollar
L1-2 Eaglet
W5-2 Gaddland
D2-2 EL CID THE HERO
W1-0 Iansisle
W2-0 Abysmalistan
L1-2 East Spaam
W1-0 James A Hollar
D0-0 Eaglet
D2-2 Gaddland

First Round
W2-1 NASTIC 2
L0-3 Oglethorpia
W3-1 Gesamkuntswerk

Knockout Stages
W2-1 Europa Brittania
W5-4 Squornshelous
W4-3 Commerce Heights
L1-2 Rejistania

P W D L F A
21 12 4 5 43 30

World Cup 13
Qualifying
W2-0 Magnus Valerius
W2-0 Avenging Altos
W1-0 Free Radicals of Mu-Mu
L0-2 NEWI Cefn Druids
W4-0 Fahigland
L1-3 Bedistan
W2-0 Iansisle
W2-0 Dennisov
W3-0 Resistencia
W4-0 Magnus Valerius
W1-0 Avenging Altos
W1-0 Free Radicals of Mu-Mu
W4-1 NEWI Cefn Druids
D0-0 Fahigland
W1-0 Bedistan
D0-0 Iansisle
W1-0 Dennisov
W3-0 Resistencia

Finals
W2-0 Kerla
D1-1 Liverpool England
D0-0 Sliponia
L1-2 Spaam

P W D L F A
22 14 5 3 36 9

World Cup 14
Qualifying
W2-0 New Luca
D1-1 The Eagles Nest
L0-3 Total n Utter Insanity
D2-2 East Spaam
W2-1 Grand Master Mark
W3-1 New Montreal States
W1-0 Presgreif
W1-0 Larkinia
W2-0 Kendelstand
W3-1 New Luca

L0-2 The Eagles Nest
W2-1 Total 'n Utter Insanity
D1-1 East Spaam
W2-1 Grand Master Mark
W2-0 New Montreal States
W4-2 Presgrief

P W D L F A
16 11 3 2 28 16

Overall:

P W D L F A
156 89 35 40 276 135

Random Stats:

Biggest Wins:
6-0 Vs Iuthia (WC6Q)
4-0 Vs Sycoes (WC8Q)
4-0 Vs Halfassedstates (WC5Q)
4-0 Vs Ice Reavers (WC11Q)
4-0 Vs Abysmalistan (WC12Q)
4-0 Vs Fahigland (WC13Q)
4-0 Vs Magnus Valerius (WC13Q)

Biggest Defeats:
0-4 Vs Squornshelous (WC5Q)
0-3 Vs One Red Dot (WC5Q)
0-3 Vs Spaam (WC6)
0-3 Vs Oglethorpia (WC12)
0-3 Vs Total n Utter Insanity (WC14Q)

Longest Winning Streak: 7 games (WC13Q)
Longest Losing Streak: 4 games (WC4-WC5Q)
Longest time without defeat: 11 games (WC11Q - WC11)
Longest time without win: 8 games (WC8Q, WC8)

Bogey teams:
United Spaam (played 8, lost 5, drawn 1)
Aquilla/Eaglet (played 5, lost 3, drawn 2)
Lemmitania (Played 4, lost 3, drawn 1)
Zinkoland (played 2, lost 2)
The Belmore Family (played 2, lost 2)

Notches on bedpost (big names which have succumbed to the 'slaves)

Halfassedstates (4-0 WC5Q)
Liverpool England (3-1 WC7)
Kingsford (1-0 WC7)
Spaam (2-0 WC9Q)
Timway (3-2 WC9Q)
Nikea (1-0 WC9)
Commerce Heights (3-0 WC10, 4-3 WC12)
Total 'n Utter Insanity (1-0 WC10, 1-0 WC11, 2-1WC14Q)
Ravenspire (3-1 WC11Q)
Svecia (2-1 WC11Q, 2-1 WC11Q)
Runaway Moose (3-2 WC11)
Nastic 2 (2-1 WC12)
Gesamkuntswerk (3-1 WC12)
Europa Brittania (2-1 WC12)
Squornshelous (5-4 WC12)
Iansisle (too many to mention ;))
NEWI Cefn Druids (4-1 WC13Q)
Dennisov (2-0, 1-0 WC13Q)
Bedistan (1-0 WC13Q)
New Montreal States (3-1, 2-0 WC14Q)
Grand Master Mark (2-1, 2-1 WC14Q)

Ranking History:

WC4: n00b
WC5: 11
WC6: 40
WC7: 20
WC8: 13
WC9: 18
WC10: 18
WC11: 11
WC12: 4
WC13: 2
WC14: 6

Honours: World Cup Runner-Up (WC12)
Under 21 World Cup Champions (WC12)[/code:1:c0ff4b9eeb]

The Weegies

06-05-2004, 17:23

The Buchanan Herald
The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret

Dave Craigan's Sportview -
The only column that matters. Apart from all the others.

Hey, hey, sports fans! Now, if you haven't killed yourself already over the travesty that has become the Weegie World Cup side, then I'm sure this'll push you over the edge - Lyle has signed a contract to be the manager of the Weegies for the next 12 years...

Only joking, of course. Not even the WFA would make such a stupid mistake as that. But seriously, what is going wrong? Is it some sort of disease, some terrible malady that has made us officially the worst performing side in the entire World Cup Qualifying? Or have evil aliens stolen our best player's talent, a la that movie "Spacejam"? Never go and see that, by the way. Wasted a good few minutes of my life with that.

But it is true, my fellow supporters. We are the 100th team out of 100. Bottom of the pile, the Jamestoun City of international football, the whipping boys. Teams far and wide now can come to thrash us like the sub-unranked team we appear to be. At this rate of decline, in 4 years we probably couldn't even beat the Xikuangese at football. Mind you, a Xikuangese football match takes up most of its time with looking for a flat surface to play on.

Although, I do have to admit we improved against Eauz. Only one goal, and they are the world champions, after all. It's not like the match against the Confederacy, where I was beginning to wonder whether we'd not just put 11 straw dolls on the pitch instead of players. But there wasn't the normal contingent of the die-hard Islander's Army in Eauz - about 10 Weegie fans turned up to that match. When the Army has deserted, you know the side is in deep, deep slani, if you'll pardon my Rejistanian.

We had some moments that showed we can be a good side - Piccolo's crosses finding their mark sometimes, Ferguson back in play giving a commanding performance and making the most likely shot, Britton back from Sartré's risible performances, giving his all as usual, but against the champions, it wasn't good enough. Nothing seems good enough any more, really. We act like amateurs, and we play like amateurs.

What's gone wrong? Answers on a postcard, fans, I'm sure Lyle'd like to know.

Tanah Burung

06-05-2004, 19:51

DAILY CROCODILE

Until today, Tanah Burung had only met Iansisle on the hockey rink, where the hugely-hyped Gulls have had a mixed record against Tanah Burung's drug-ridden, barely-able-to-skate, bottom-of-the-barrel Cassowaries. In football, it's quite a different show. Tanah Burung was favoured to defeat the Ians in a race that has turned into a run-away for the Crocs, undefeated in a group where no other side has been able to put together a winning record. All the more so since the match was played in the city of Loro Sae in front of a crowd where the name of Iansisle does not inspire any great love.

The match, sponsored by the mahogany tree, was played in intensely humid conditions, and ended in the result the crowd was variously hoping, praying and meditating for: a Crocodiles win. Hero of the day was Maria Miskita, the Crocs' top scorer for two qualifying campaigns running, who recorded three goals. That is just the third hat trick in Crocs history. The fourth goal was marked by hometown footballer Viktor Kaisiepo, the only Loro Sae player to make the national side.

Final result:
Tanah Burung 4 Iansisle 1
(Miskita 3, Kaisiepo)

Eauz

06-05-2004, 22:08

Le LIBRE

Third Straight for Les Bleus

Looking to keep the winning streak alive, Les Bleus, in their 6th match day of the qualifying round were at home against Melmond. For some reason, the stadium was very full to watch Les Bleus play against an 8th place team. It was reported that Melmond had sold a lot of tickets for the match.

With the Melmond supporters in the stadium, it seemed as if the match was actually a Melmond home match, even though it was in Zuka, Eauz. If one remembers, experts in Melmond had predicted Eauz to win world cup 13, and it occurred, so there must be a desire to watch this mysterious Eauz team.

Les Bleus got off to an excellent start against Melmond taking control of the ball early in the first 10 minutes of play. Unfortunately for Les Bleus, they could not get past the Melmond defence, which was playing at a stronger level than expected. The strong offence of Les Bleus was stopped in that attack. As for the Melmond offence, it was weakened because a star player was serving a red card penalty. Yeuseuv was not really tested in the first half by the Melmond offence, with some weak kicks, and wide shots. In the 35th minute of play, Les Bleus scored on a give and go play, passing the Melmond defence, notching the first goal of the match. A second goal followed quickly at the 38th minute of play for Les Bleus putting them up 2 – 0.

In the second half, Melmond felt morally defeated. On another Eauz attack, a shot was taken, hitting the side of the head of Torrini a defender for Melmond and went into the net, making the score 3 – 0. The fluke goal destroyed the moral of Melmond, and also handed them their second loss in a row. With the win, Les Bleus reach the third place position in the standings. Les Bleus are finally in qualifying position, and are expected to continue to climb to try and contend for first against Brazillico.

[code:1:19b1a2eb76]
Statistics for Melmond after 6 matches: Statistics for Eauz
-Not won for 4 matches -Won last three
-One win in 6 matches -Three shutouts in a row
-5 points out of a possible 18 -12 points of a possible 18
-Not won away this season
[/code:1:19b1a2eb76]

[code:1:19b1a2eb76]
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Brazillico 6 6 0 0 18 6 12 18 54
2 Europa Britannia 6 4 1 1 11 3 8 13 49
3 Eauz 6 4 0 2 11 5 6 12 48
4 The Confederate 6 3 1 2 13 12 1 10 46
5 EL CID THE HERO 6 3 0 3 11 10 1 9 45
6 Largent 6 2 1 3 9 12 -3 7 43
7 Lallania 6 2 1 3 8 15 -7 7 43
8 Melmond 6 1 2 3 10 12 -2 5 41
9 Oceaice 6 1 1 4 8 15 -7 4 40
10 The Weegies 6 0 1 5 3 12 -9 1 37
[/code:1:19b1a2eb76]

Match Day 1: Oceaice @ Eauz W 4 - 2
Match Day 2: Europa Britannia vs Eauz L 1 - 0
Match Day 3: Eauz @ BrazillicoL 1 - 2
Match Day 4: The Weegies @ Eauz W 0 - 1
Match Day 5: Eauz @ EL CID THE HERO W 2 - 0
Match Day 6: Melmond @ Eauz W 0 - 3
Match Day 7: Eauz @ Largent
Match Day 8: The Confederate @ Eauz
Match Day 9 : Eauz @ Lallania

Match Day 10: Eauz @ Oceaice
Match Day 11: Eauz @ Europa Britannia
Match Day 12: Brazillico @ Eauz
Match Day 13: Eauz @ The Weegies
Match Day 14: EL CID THE HERO @ Eauz
Match Day 15: Eauz @ Melmond
Match Day 16: Largent @ Eauz
Match Day 17: Eauz @ The Confederate
Match Day 18: Lallania @ Eauz

Eauz

06-05-2004, 22:09

double post disease :(

Bedistan

06-05-2004, 22:23

The Sun of Rolestu - Sports

The Lions of Bedistan have its better run of qualification date and continue to by records. Today 2-0 victory Insanity about Intelligent brings the streak winner from the team to seven party (including to party of third-place WC13 against Lemmitania). The Bedistan now has a leads of three-tip in Group 6 about Kerla.

However, Tingitana continues to beating the difference with but another one victory about Dadostan. In them they put in well perhaps the best performance never by a grossly new team to the World Cup. Expect their run perfect come to a stop for soon. Frankly, they do not have a prayer. Was pleasant while lasted, although.

[Semi-OOC: Blasted Rolestans still haven't quite learned the language yet... :P]

The Eagles Nest

06-05-2004, 23:47

Adams Powers Birds to 4th Home Win

Eagle's Nest Beats Grand master Mark 2-1

Two men in a small room

1: 2-1 huh?

2: Yep. Adams had two nasty hooking shots, one rebounded he headed it in, the second one was a top shelf shot.

1: How'd GmM get their goal?

2: It was late. bad bounce off the post, and Nathan Adams was unable to get back. No biggie.

1: So, you think you might every get some play time?

2: I hope so, maybe on some rout or something.

1: I see. Well, how goes the other business?

2: Very well.

1: Very well? No details? no discussion?

2: Hey, you never know who is listening.

1: Hmm, very well. Everyone will know if this works.

2: True.

1: Very well.

2: Very well.

1: Think we should submit a sponsorship for this world cup?

2: I think it's too late.

1. Oh Very well.

2: *nods* Very well.

1:
2:
1:
2:

1: WILL YOU GET OUT OF HERE???

2: Oh....ok later.

1: *sighs* *picks up paper* Lovebug and Spaam? Good lord...could you imagine the children? *shudders and turns the page*

Turnia

07-05-2004, 00:30

Turnia City Tribune

Associated Press

... And down they spiral -- Turnia 1 - 2 New Kingman

Entering Game 6, the Dragons' head coach shuffled his line-up hoping for a spark, and a win. If there was ever a time for a win, now seemed to be the time in this matchup between struggling teams. Alas, again... it wasn't meant to be. "I really don't know what to say. Our guys are playing hard, their heads are in the game and no one has given up. We just cannot seem to get over the hump" said Head Coach Odle.

The Dragons have played remarkably well considering how they got out of the gate. GK Donald Heinz has settled in nicely after a shaky start, but scoring opportunities have been dreadful. The line changes made no difference and perhaps even hurt team chemistry. When asked if the current line would stay or revert back to the original, HC Odle could only say, "Myself and the staff will look at the tape and make a decision tomorrow."

As we went to press, it has now been reported, the line will remain the same for the time being.

Kudos must be given to the coaching staff for holding this team together in a very tough first go at the World Cup. After each game a few long faces can be seen, but the following day, their spirits are back. If anything, the competitive spirit of the Dragons cannot be questioned.

Will this downward spiral come to an end? "By god I hope so. Everyting will be left on the field. This team will never give up" said Team Captain Turner Jr. Upward and onward Dragons... upward and onward.

AP

Eauz

07-05-2004, 00:45

Eauz

07-05-2004, 00:53

Preview of Match Day 7

Eauz @ Largent

Les Bleus will be travelling to the Capitalist Paradise of Largent. On arriving by plane to the country, they noticed that there was a lot of barren, inhospitable landscape, and while travelling to the stadium, all they saw was desert and sand. As for the stadium, it was a newly constructed amazing looking building. Due to air quality problems, the stadium has a open and close roof.

Statistically Les Bleus should win this match. This will be the first time for Les Bleus to meet up with Largent. Being at home has not been friendly for Largent, having lost the first two home matches by one goal differences. The Largent team though will have to compete against a hot Yeuseuv who has in the last two matches he played, not let a goal in.

Predictions:

3 Eauz 1 Largent

Brazillico

07-05-2004, 04:34

No sports article was published in The Brazillico Advance today, as this was clearly some of Jake Tartare's worst work. A reprint of the popular "Brazillico and Projectiles: A Rich History" article was put in its place today. This is what Jake was able to scrape up for the day.

It was a savage beating. Not even close. Brazillico hosted a clinic at EL CID THE HERO and showed the home side the way football was meant to be played. By the time it was all said and done, Brazillico counted 4 goals from 4 different players to THE CID’s zero. Brazillico’s stranglehold on the group was only enforced with this emphatic whooping, while THE CID stands pat at fifth place in the group. Fans of the home side should not despair, as this was just a bump in the road and THE CID GO MARCHING ON.

And as do Brazillico, as the road to qualification winds back to the friendly confines of Undelay Industries Stadium. Friendly for Brazillico, abysmal for visitors. Brazillicans tend to have a hard time forgetting and they definately remember that ugly little incident from what has become known as the "Cup of Disharmony". Melmond will definately get a vocal welcome upon enterance of the stadium, and believe me, it'd be better that way than turning them back at the door.

Brazillico 4 T. Maracana 17, J. Socrates (P) 38, A. Cannon 53, O. Quintana 77
EL CID THE HERO 0

Melmond

07-05-2004, 04:35

Voodoomed
Fates Have Been Not Kind to Melmond As They Lose to Eauz
By Jay Ununne of the Unne Sun-Times

ZUKA, EAUZ—It is known that the Emerald Heights as a whole hates the Melmond National Team. The Fearless Farmers earned the ire of Kingsfordians after Melmond defender Nina Steen kicked Kingsford striker Carl Shetfield in the nether regions, permanently raising his pitch. The Tanah Burungese hate Melmond because of Melmond defender Paul “Edgy” Shields breaking the leg of promising young star Theys Eluay. The Brazillicans hate the Melmondians because they believe that the Melmond Football Association paid off referee Terry Vucinic of Europa Britannia and made them lose the Cup of Harmony and then making them forfeit the third place match due to their bad behavior.
Luckily, they were in the country which would most likely be friendly to Melmondians in the Emerald Heights, Eauz. Both Eauz and Melmond were the beneficiaries of the invention from Melmond’s black magic community, the voodoo dice. Since pure black magic has been made illegal in Melmond, families with histories of black sorcery have resorted to such things as altering the results of football matches. The voodoo dice was credited for Melmond winning the Cup of Harmony and Eauz winning the World Cup just like the pundits in Melmond predicted. Many people bet an Eauz, a relative underdog back then, to win it all and got very rich.
Ever since then, the person in charge of the voodoo dice has left them in Costa Lot. Eauz has maintained their championship form brought on by the dice. Melmond had their improving form taken away from them by many prayer session of an angry Praying2God fanbase. Apparently the scoring gods listened to the Praying2Godders and have set the Melmond National Team into damnation. Anyway the match up is between Les Blues Riches of Eauz and the Forsaken Farmers of Melmond.
The Fearless Farmers had one thing going for them, the Fearless Farmer faithful. It seemed as if the faithful have brought their entire families to Zuka to fill up the stadium and turn the place to Melmond of Emerald Heights. Right after kickoff, Eauz was well under control of the match as the Melmond defence remained on their toes. Despite many nifty passes by the Eauz midfield to its forwards, the Fearless Farmers kept on with their tight marking as Scott Cheney and Nina Steen didn’t allow any Eauz attackers get a clear shot at the goal. When they did, Melmond goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm made the save.
Melmond really played rather pitifully on offence. There were many opportunity for crosses, however without the leaping ability of leading scorer Chris Owen, all the crosses were collected and cleared by Eauz defenders. All the shots that came from the feet of the usually dependable Mornakh the Bloody Handed and the usually accurate Benjamin Leeb couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn. Shots were either wide, too hard, or too soft. One heartbreaking shot by Melmond striker Benjamin Leeb got past Eauz goalkeeper Yeuseuv, but the ball hit the post and was quickly cleared by the quick reacting Eauz defence.
Eauz kept its offensive attack going, and being overmatched, the Melmond defence was bound to let a breakthrough go. It happened with an Eauz give and go play, where Joseuf got past the Melmond defence and made a solid strike past Xtfuinxm. The defending world champions take the 1-nil lead at the 35th minute.
Melmond was getting rather frustrated of their constant futility as of late. This caused them to be overly aggressive and make careless mistakes which lead to an Eauz counter and a goal by Eurz. That goal at the 38th minute gave Eauz the 2-nil lead and all but deflated any hope of competing Melmond had.
In the second half, Eauz continued its domination of the pace of the game as Melmond seemed to have to push themselves to even try at this point. Things only got worse for the Fearless Farmers as an Eauz midfielder was taking a long shot, which ricocheted of the head of Melmond defender Jonsi Torrini. The change in direction caught Xtfuinxm off-guard and the ball went in. The heartbreaking own goal came at the 68th minute and gave Eauz the 3-nil lead, which would end up being the final score.
The Fearless Farmers and their faithful were rather depressed. Usually there are locker room interviews, but since we are a courteous folk here in Melmond, we will leave our Fearless Farmers alone. I know that the depressed just need some time alone to sort things out. And there is a lot to sort out.

Goals
Joseuf, EAU 35th
Eurz, EAU 38th
Torrini, EAU (OG) 68th

Cards
None

Standings

Other Group 10 Results
Oceaice 2 – The Confederate 1
Lallania 1 – Largent 1
Europa Brittania 2 – EL CID THE HERO 0
Brazillico 2 – The Weegies 1

[code:1:1e235c464b]Group 10
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Brazillico 18 6 0 0 18:6 12
2. Europa Brittania 13 4 1 1 11:3 8
3. Eauz 12 4 0 2 11:5 6
4. The Confederate 10 3 1 2 13:12 1
5. EL CID THE HERO 9 3 0 3 11:10 1
6. Largent 7 2 1 3 9:12 -3
7. Lallania 7 2 1 3 8:15 -7
8. Melmond 5 1 2 3 10:12 -2
9. Oceaice 4 1 1 4 8:15 -7
10. The Weegies 1 0 1 5 3:12 -9[/code:1:1e235c464b]

Melmond Team Stats
Goals: Chris Owen (4), Critandi Unne (2), Mornakh the Bloody Handed (2), Benjamin Leeb (1)
Cards: Chris Owen (1), Scott Cheney (1)

The Melmond National Team Schedule

@ EL CID THE HERO L 2-1
@ Oceaice T 1-1
v Largent (Microcosm Stadium, Aldi) W 3-0
@ The Confederate T 3-3
v Lallania (Xpress Counsel Field, Cali) L 3-2
@ Eauz L 3-0
v Europa Brittania (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne)
@ Brazillico
v The Weegies (Frankndottir Stadium, Acosta)
v EL CID THE HERO (Woocat Books Ballpark, O’Connor)
v Oceaice (Lifedonations Stadium, Morales)
@ Largent
v The Confederate (MPNK Stadium, Faasen)
@ Lallania
v Eauz (White Bread Dome, Suburbia)
@ Europa Brittania
v Brazillico (Melmond Bowl, Melmond City)
@ The Weegies

Next Game
vs. Europa Brittania (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne)

In the final four games of the first half of World Cup qualifying, Melmond needed at least 2 wins and a tie to stay competitive. The have the loss they can afford. Now it is must win. Other than the home match to the other forsaken side, The Weegies, this home match at the intimidating Feliz-Unne stadium vs. Europa Brittania may be one of the best chances Melmond has to get a win. This would sound preposterous in any other situation, but the other match is in Brazillico, where a red hot Chili Bat side has revenge and more on its mind. Manager Felix Coostatlwak wanted to send a shock to the players he felt were underperforming, so head sat done slumping goalkeeper Snhp Xtfuinxm and replaced him with Gina Unne and replacing the disappointing Mornakh the Bloody Handed with Diallo Unne. All the players from the Unne family will be starting in their hometown. Benjamin Leeb continues to replace Chris Owen while he serves his red card suspension.

GK- Gina Unne
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Scott Cheney
D- Nina Steen
M- Martin Goodwin
M- Critandi Unne
M- Camui Arai
M- Cristina Antunez
F- Diallo Unne
F- Benjamin Leeb

Feliz-Unne Stadium
Location: Unne, Melmond
Seats: 48,000 (Open Air)

The city of Unne is Melmond’s third largest city and is said to be the most fashionable city in the nation. The city was named after the famous Dr. Unne, in which Melmondian legend claims that he taught the Light Warriors an ancient language which helped rid the world from Chaos (the evil being, not the concept). Descendants of the Unne family make their home in Unne and are a sort of unofficial royalty in Melmond. Three members of the Unne family: Critandi, Gina, and Diallo play for the Fearless Farmers. Feliz-Unne Stadium is one of the few football-specific stadiums in Melmond as it was built due to the success Melmond had in the Cup of Harmony also along with success the Unne Yellows club team had. They expanded the smaller Feliz Stadium by 30,000 seats. It was funded by the Unne family, hence the name. Seats are almost right on top of the pitch, and in the humid climate of Unne, it can make opponents claustrophobic. Tickets are sold out!

Magnus Valerius

07-05-2004, 04:44

The Valerian Voice
Valerians Crushed by Commerce Heights

Today, the Boyars had lost their worst in the World Cup! It was a complete disaster as the Boyars lost to their game away at Commerce Heights in a devastating final score of 4-0. "We have no hopes for recovery," decried Emperor Alexander II. He looked terribly sad as the Valerians had plunged into the Group ranks. It seems that this World Cup will not be a place for Valeria to shine, as Valeria faces the other top teams in short succession within the next few days. Let us hope for a stunning victory; however, a victory is not guaranteed.

OOC: I apologize for the short post; I have testing and I'm tired.

Melmond

07-05-2004, 04:48

Melmond Football Footnotes

Joao Cannon to Perform in Melmond?
Ever since former Brazillico football player Joao Cannon left the game to pursue a career in Broadway, he has been stuck in fifth-rate troupes in fifth-rate cities. But a Melmondian troupe in Cali may offer Joao Cannon his big break. The Tomar and Andrews Company is reportedly offering Joao Cannon in the part in their risque musical, Booty and the Beast, with Joao Cannon playing the Beast. Jennifer Andrews said that, 'If I was straight, I would so go after Joao Cannon, he is a beast. Oh, and we see great potential in his voice." Speaking of lesbianism...

MESPNE Analyst Fired For Insensitive Remarks
This is old news in Melmond, but it needed to be printed for the whole world to see. All the way back after Day 1 of qualifying started, there were some unkind words said about Spaam goalkeeper Alatari Surion by guest analyst at Melmond Sports Network, Dawdle Limberger. During the highlights of Spaam's match vs. Carpet, Limberger claimed that Surion was "chomping at the bit to play Carpet." and that "the Carpet side is not putting much offence because they are afraid that Surion might lick them, or even munch on them." Needless to say, Dawdle Limberger didn't last too long afterward as gay-friendly Melmond shared its disapproval.

Eauz Prophet Foretells Doom for Fearless Farmers
One person from the Fearless Farmer faithful went to Eauz mystic Nostradumass and his sock puppet Toobey to ask about why the Melmond National Team has been struggling so much. Minutes later, the sock puppet Toobey recites this arcane verse.

In the chaotic harmony
Those that bear the 1 and 14
Shall dive feet first
And spiral into the abyss

According to this reporter, the "chaotic harmony" was the Cup of Harmony in Melmond which was sabotaged by miscommunication by the WCC and the MFA. As for the 1 and 14, this could mean places of finish, as Melmond was #1 and number 14 were the also struggling The Weegies. Feet first shows that we are talking about football, a game played with feet. Spiralling to the abyss is the standings as it seems that Melmond and The Weegies will be battling out for the Wooden Spoon of Group 10.

The Evil Umpire

07-05-2004, 04:52

The Evil Umpire have lost to Halfassedstates 4-3.

One Red Dot

07-05-2004, 05:42

2 days ago...

The Red Dot Informant
Est. since...when? WCIX?

Second to No-one, Except Gesamtkuntserk

Spurred on by an almost impossible draw against Gesamtkuntserk and then a score-settling match against Giant Zucchini, the

Red Dot Wolves have reached new heights in the Cup, standing at second place.

The 2-2 draw against Gesamtkuntswerk at Gweridijong City Stadium helped to suppress their appettite for more wins but

the best moment for the Wolves during the past three days was when the game ended in Giant Zucchini and the Wolves scored the

lone goal of the match. Head Coach Chris Gwee says that "the Wolves are progressing better day be day...it might take a large

lost to slow them down." Meanwhile, with 6 more matches before the next big one against Gesamtkuntswerk in their home ground,

the team and the nation will be smiling at their qualification run.

Group 9 WCIV Qualification Tables provided by Oglethorpia and edited by Anna Liszt, statistical editor of The Red Dot

Informant
[code:1:b849c0c376]
GROUP 9 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Gesamtkuntswerk 5 4 1 0 9 2 +7 13
One Red Dot 5 4 1 0 12 6 +6 13
Wella 5 3 1 1 8 5 +3 10
Giant Zucchini 5 3 0 2 6 5 +1 9
Aquilla 5 2 1 2 4 5 -1 7
Jeruselem 5 1 2 2 7 8 -1 5
Shang-Ti 5 1 1 3 4 7 -3 4
Clearwater 5 1 1 3 5 9 -4 4
The mighty spurs 5 1 0 4 7 12 -5 3
Nanakaland 5 1 0 4 7 12 -5 3
[/code:1:b849c0c376]

Geamtkuntswerk, One Red Dot, Wella and Giant Zucchini are having smooth qualification rounds so far, winning at least 50% of

their matches. This might keep their morale high as the matchdays continue. Meanwhile, Aquilla and Jerusalem can still catch

up a bit and can still make the top 3. Analysts and punters expect favourites Gesamtkuntserk, One Red Dot and Giant Zucchini

to proceed to the World Cup proper.

ORD World Cup Record provided by ASWORD (Association of the Sports World of One Red Dot)
[code:1:b849c0c376]
World Cup WC6 WC7 WC8 WC9 WC10 WC11 WC12 WC13 WC14
Matches Played 17 13 13 17 7 17 14 21 5

Wins 9 9 6 8 4 10 8 12 4
Draws 7 1 2 4 1 6 4 3 1
Losses 1 3 5 5 2 1 2 6 0

Goals For 31 31 22 24 14 29 27 27 12
Average GF 1.82 2.38 1.69 1.41 2.00 1.71 1.93 1.29 2.40
Goals Against 16 9 19 19 11 7 11 12 6
Average GA 0.94 0.69 1.46 1.12 1.57 0.41 0.79 0.57 1.20
Goal Diff. +15 +22 +3 +5 +3 +22 +16 +15 +6
Average GD +0.88 +1.69 +0.23 +0.29 +0.43 +1.29 +1.14 +0.89 +1.20

Total Matches 36 49 62 79 86 103 117 138 143

Acc. Wins 17 26 32 40 44 54 62 74 78
Acc. Draws 10 11 13 17 18 24 28 31 32
Acc. Losses 9 12 17 22 24 25 27 33 33

Accumulated GF 57 88 110 134 148 177 204 231 243
Ave. Acc. GF 1.58 1.80 1.77 1.70 1.72 1.72 1.74 1.67 1.70
Accumulated GA 42 51 70 89 100 107 118 130 136
Ave. Acc. GA 1.17 1.04 1.13 1.13 1.16 1.04 1.01 0.94 0.95
Accumulated GD +15 +37 +40 +45 +48 +70 +86 +101 +107
Ave. Acc. GD +0.42 +0.76 +0.65 +0.57 +0.58 +0.68 +0.74 0.73 0.75

Average Opp. Rank# 21.33 25.40 41.80 26.29 16.86 26.00 39.67 28.57 37.60
Highest Opp. Rank 8 7 21 1 1 4 15 5 9
Lowest Opp. Rank# 50 52 68 79 50 50 74 53 71

Pre-Cup Rank 30 22 16 29 29 20 11 28 29
Standardised Rank# 0.57 -0.18 -1.16 0.10 0.71 -0.29 -0.93 -0.03 -0.31

#Newbie ranks are excluded.
World Cup 4 & 5 statistics have been truncated to accommodate newer records.
*Rounding-ups/downs may cause calculative errors in the table.[/code:1:b849c0c376]

Match fixtures for One Red Dot (Matchdays 6~18)
06: One Red Dot v Aquilla @ Royal Burrington Stadium
07: Jerusalem v One Red Dot @ Jerusalem
08: One Red Dot v Wella @ Chisai-nihon Stadium
09: Nanakaland v One Red Dot @ Nanakaland
10: Clearwater v One Red Dot @ Clearwater
11: One Red Dot v Shang-Ti @ Chisai’nihon Stadium
12: Gesamtkuntswerk v One Red Dot @ Gesamtkuntswerk #
13: One Red Dot v Giant Zucchini @ Royal Red Dot National Stadium #
14: The mighty spurs v One Red Dot @ The mighty spurs
15: Aquilla v One Red Dot @ Aquilla
16: One Red Dot v Jerusalem @ Westshores Stadium
17: Wella v One Red Dot @ Wella
18: One Red Dot v Nanakaland @ Royal Red Dot National Stadium

# matches to watch

Tickets to all matches can still be bought at your local ORDOTIX counters nationwide. Prices subject to locale. All matches

in One Red Dot will be televised live on Channel 7 at 5.00pm UPST (United Powers Standard Time, GMT +0800h) and all 'Away'

matches will also be televised live at the same time unless otherwise stated in your local TV guide.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Today's paper

The Red Dot Informant
Est. since...when? WCIX?

[color=red]Good Victory Run, Would Wolves Ever Rest?

It was another joyous victory by the Wolves as both #42 Aquilla and #50 Jerusalem fell to the floor. Aquilla did not put up much of a fight, conceding two goals at the Royal Burrington Stadium, leaving the score at 2-0 and Jerusalem showed their will, but not their might as they the Wolves savaged a 2-1win in Jerusalem.

The next match is against Wella, and the team has been performing relatively well for a newcomer at 3 wins in 7 matches. Many experts (meaning the person behind the counter at betting centres) say that Wella would most probably be an easy win, so there would be no problem. Head Coach Chris Gwee says that "we may be winning many matches, but we can't rest on our laurels, and it is absolutely no time to do so."

Group 9 WCIV Qualification Tables provided by Oglethorpia and edited by Anna Liszt, statistical editor of The Red Dot

Informant
[code:1:b849c0c376]
GROUP 9 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Gesamtkuntswerk 7 6 1 0 13 2 +11 19
One Red Dot 7 6 1 0 16 7 +9 19
Giant Zucchini 7 5 0 2 10 5 +5 15
Wella 7 3 1 3 9 8 +1 10
Aquilla 7 2 2 3 6 9 -3 8
The mighty spurs 7 2 1 4 13 15 -2 7
Nanakaland 7 2 0 5 10 16 -6 6
Shang-Ti 7 1 2 4 13 16 -3 5
Jeruselem 7 1 2 4 8 13 -5 5
Clearwater 7 1 2 4 8 15 -7 5
[/code:1:b849c0c376]

The gap becomes more defined as Gesamtkuntswerk, One Red Dot and Giant Zucchini lead the group, with a 5 point gap between 3rd placed GZ and 4th placed Wella.

ORD World Cup Record provided by ASWORD (Association of the Sports World of One Red Dot)
[code:1:b849c0c376]
World Cup WC6 WC7 WC8 WC9 WC10 WC11 WC12 WC13 WC14
Matches Played 17 13 13 17 7 17 14 21 7

Wins 9 9 6 8 4 10 8 12 6
Draws 7 1 2 4 1 6 4 3 1
Losses 1 3 5 5 2 1 2 6 0

Goals For 31 31 22 24 14 29 27 27 16
Average GF 1.82 2.38 1.69 1.41 2.00 1.71 1.93 1.29 2.29
Goals Against 16 9 19 19 11 7 11 12 7
Average GA 0.94 0.69 1.46 1.12 1.57 0.41 0.79 0.57 1.00
Goal Diff. +15 +22 +3 +5 +3 +22 +16 +15 +9
Average GD +0.88 +1.69 +0.23 +0.29 +0.43 +1.29 +1.14 +0.89 +1.29

Total Matches 36 49 62 79 86 103 117 138 145

Acc. Wins 17 26 32 40 44 54 62 74 80
Acc. Draws 10 11 13 17 18 24 28 31 32
Acc. Losses 9 12 17 22 24 25 27 33 33

Accumulated GF 57 88 110 134 148 177 204 231 247
Ave. Acc. GF 1.58 1.80 1.77 1.70 1.72 1.72 1.74 1.67 1.70
Accumulated GA 42 51 70 89 100 107 118 130 137
Ave. Acc. GA 1.17 1.04 1.13 1.13 1.16 1.04 1.01 0.94 0.94
Accumulated GD +15 +37 +40 +45 +48 +70 +86 +101 +110
Ave. Acc. GD +0.42 +0.76 +0.65 +0.57 +0.58 +0.68 +0.74 0.73 0.76

Average Opp. Rank# 21.33 25.40 41.80 26.29 16.86 26.00 39.67 28.57 37.60
Highest Opp. Rank 8 7 21 1 1 4 15 5 9
Lowest Opp. Rank# 50 52 68 79 50 50 74 53 71

Pre-Cup Rank 30 22 16 29 29 20 11 28 29
Standardised Rank# 0.57 -0.18 -1.16 0.10 0.71 -0.29 -0.93 -0.03 -0.31

#Newbie ranks are excluded.
World Cup 4 & 5 statistics have been truncated to accommodate newer records.
*Rounding-ups/downs may cause calculative errors in the table.[/code:1:b849c0c376]

Match fixtures for One Red Dot (Matchdays 8~18)
08: One Red Dot v Wella @ Chisai-nihon Stadium
09: Nanakaland v One Red Dot @ Nanakaland
10: Clearwater v One Red Dot @ Clearwater
11: One Red Dot v Shang-Ti @ Chisai’nihon Stadium
12: Gesamtkuntswerk v One Red Dot @ Gesamtkuntswerk #
13: One Red Dot v Giant Zucchini @ Royal Red Dot National Stadium #
14: The mighty spurs v One Red Dot @ The mighty spurs
15: Aquilla v One Red Dot @ Aquilla
16: One Red Dot v Jerusalem @ Westshores Stadium
17: Wella v One Red Dot @ Wella
18: One Red Dot v Nanakaland @ Royal Red Dot National Stadium

# matches to watch

Tickets to all matches can still be bought at your local ORDOTIX counters nationwide. Prices subject to locale. All matches

in One Red Dot will be televised live on Channel 7 at 5.00pm UPST (United Powers Standard Time, GMT +0800h) and all 'Away'

matches will also be televised live at the same time unless otherwise stated in your local TV guide.

Vilita

07-05-2004, 06:20

MD7

Total n Utter Insanity

07-05-2004, 06:24

Decided to go more pro-active. New formula, new name.

Youth World Cup Signup (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=143887)

8 places left, starts round about the same time as the World Cup Finals.

Vilita

07-05-2004, 06:36

And in other news.....

OOC: WHO DELETED THEIR DOUBLE POST?!?!?!

All is lost in the world. :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

Tadjikistan

07-05-2004, 08:38

http://www.internews.tj/russian/images/newlogo1.gif

Coach wants to resign

Dushanbe - With another loss behind his name, Coach Ion Yakir told us he wants to resign and return to the Tadjik competition. Yakir was not happy with the match against Dennisov, and said the referee was probably bribed. Most of the fans agree with Yakir and say this match was sold.

TNFF president Frunze refused to point fingers at anyone: "we do understand that both our coach and fans are angry at the way things are going, but i would like to ask them to calm down. Making accusations without solid proof is very dangerous." Frunze tried not to take sides and added: "We will offcourse watch the match on video and investigate everything, and then we will discuss with Mr Yakir". We will be around to hear the verdict.

In the match itself the only Tadjik goal made came from Cherniakhovskij, in the 50th minute of the match, and goalkeeper Yashin returned to the team. It should have been an ocasion to celebrate something but his return was overshadowed by coach Yakirs comment on the ref.

In Tadjikistans next match, they will face Belmorian Scandinavia, nr 37 on the world ranking list. It should be a very interesting match, keeping in mind that the Tadjiks are in an angry mood. TNFF president Frunze ask the players to keep it fair.

M1: Tadjikistan - Intelligent Madness W 2-1
M2: Aerigia - Tadjikistan W 1-3
M3: Tadjikistan - Keyshona W 3-1
M4: Bobbystan - Tadjikistan L 2-1
M5: Tadjikistan - Bedistan L 1-2
M6: Kerla - Tadjikistan L1-0
M7: Tadjikistan - Dennisov 1-4
M8: Belmorian Scandinavia - Tadjikistan
M9: Tadjikistan - Vollmeria
M10: Intelligent Madness - Tadjikistan
M11: Tadjikistan - Aerigia
M12: Keyshona - Tadjikistan
M13: Tadjikistan - Bobbystan
M14: Bedistan - Tadjikistan
M15: Tadjikistan - Kerla
M16: Dennisov - Tadjikistan
M17: Tadjikistan - Belmorian Scandinavia
M18: Vollmeria - Tadjikistan

Lovebug

07-05-2004, 09:36

And Now It’s Time To Get To Know Your Fellow WC 14 Nations In A Little Thing We Are Calling – Won’t You Be My Neighbor
Presented By Lovebug (Note All Stats Are As Of Thursday May 6, 2004)

[code:1:e0bcd4fd5b]
GROUP 1

UN CATEGORIES REPRESENTED
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy – 4
Father Knows Best State – 2
Psychotic Dictatorship – 1
Civil Rights Lovefest – 1
Iron Fist Consumerists – 1
Capitalist Paradise - 1

Average Tax Rate: 78%
Highest Tax Rate: 100%
Lowest Tax Rate: 13%

Total No. UN Members – 4
Total No. Endorsements – 9
Average No. of Endorsements per UN Nation – 2.5

Total Population: 12902000000
Average Population: 1290200000
Lowest Population: Kendelstand – 188,000,000
Highest Population: Total n Utter Insanity - 2,259,000,000

GROUP 2 (9 of 10 Nations Included)

UN CATEGORIES REPRESENTED
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy – 4
Left-Leaning College State – 1
Father Knows Best State –1
Iron Fist Consumerists – 1
Compulsory Consumerist State – 1
Authoritarian Democracy – 1

Average Tax Rate: 69%
Highest Tax Rate: 100%
Lowest Tax Rate: 0%

Total No. UN members - 3
Total No. Endorsements - 5
Average No. of Endorsements per UN Nation - 1.66666666666666666666666666666667

Total Population: 9562000000
Average Population: 1,062,444,444.44444444444444444444444
Lowest Population: Cicera – 265000000
Highest Population: Lemmitania – 2360000000

G Bugles – NATION NO LONGER EXISTS OR NAME SPELLED WRONG

GROUP 3 (9 of 10 Nations Included)

UN CATEGORIES REPRESENTED
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy – 2
Capitalizt – 1
Benevolent Dictatorship – 1
Left-wing Utopia – 1
Capitalist Paradise – 1
Father Knows Best State – 1
Libertarian Police State – 1
Democratic Socialists – 1

Average Tax Rate: 70.4%
Highest Tax Rate: 100%
Lowest Tax Rate: 13%

Total No. UN Members - 3
Total No. Endorsements - 11
Average No. of Endorsements per UN Nation - 3.66666666666666666666666666666667

Total Population: 14158000000
Average Population: 1573111111.11111111111111111111111
Lowest Population: The Evil Umpire – 302000000
Highest Population: Ravenspire – 2935000000

Airenguo - NATION NO LONGER EXISTS OR NAME SPELLED WRONG

GROUP 4

UN CATEGORIES REPRESENTED
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy – 4
Left-Leaning College State – 2
Corporate Police State – 1
Anarchy – 1
Authoritarian Democracy – 1
Democratic Socialists – 1

Average Tax Rate: 66.7%
Highest Tax Rate: 100%
Lowest Tax Rate: 0%

Total No. UN members – 5
Total No. Endorsements – 17
Average No. of Endorsements per UN Nation – 3.4

Total Population: 14247000000
Average Population: 1,424,700,000
Lowest Population: Hawcoat - 239000000
Highest Population: Ineptia - 3129000000

GROUP 5

UN CATEGORIES REPRESENTED
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy – 3
Corporate Police State – 2
Capitalizt – 1
Father Knows Best State – 1
Left-Leaning College State – 1
Benevolent Dictatorship – 1
Compulsory Consumerist State – 1

Average Tax Rate: 62.3%
Highest Tax Rate: 100%
Lowest Tax Rate: 0%

Total No. UN members – 4
Total No. Endorsements – 65 (Lennon Marx has 59 of these)
Average No. of Endorsements per UN Nation – 16.25

Total Population: 11896000000
Average Population: 1,189,600,000
Lowest Population: The Fivefold Star - 122000000
Highest Population: Lovisa - 2814000000

GROUP 6

UN CATEGORIES REPRESENTED
Capitalist Paradise – 1
Democratic Socialists – 1
Left-Leaning College State – 1
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy – 5
Father Knows Best State – 1
Compulsory Consumerist State – 1

Average Tax Rate: 77.1%
Highest Tax Rate: 100%
Lowest Tax Rate: 15%

Total No. UN members – 6
Total No. Endorsements – 12
Average No. of Endorsements per UN Nation – 2

Total Population: 18718000000
Average Population: 1,871,800,000
Lowest Population: Intelligent Madness - 245000000
Highest Population: Aerigia - 2872000000

GROUP 7

UN CATEGORIES REPRESENTED
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy – 3
Left-Leaning College State – 2
Capitalist Paradise – 2
Iron Fist Consumerists – 1
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise – 1
Compulsory Consumerist State – 1

Average Tax Rate: 64.2%
Highest Tax Rate: 100%
Lowest Tax Rate: 17%

Total No. UN members – 7
Total No. Endorsements – 26
Average No. of Endorsements per UN Nation - 3.71428571428571428571428571428571

Total Population: 12336000000
Average Population: 1,233,600,000
Lowest Population: Anitram - 187000000
Highest Population: The Lowland Clans - 2848000000

GROUP 8

UN CATEGORIES REPRESENTED
Left-Leaning College State – 1
Democratic Socialists – 2
Civil Rights Lovefest – 1
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy – 5
Anarchy – 1

Average Tax Rate: 63.9%
Highest Tax Rate: 100%
Lowest Tax Rate: 0%

Total No. UN members – 5
Total No. Endorsements – 19
Average No. of Endorsements per UN Nation – 3.8

Total Population: 10526000000
Average Population: 1052600000
Lowest Population: ElephantandCastle - 213000000
Highest Population: Spaam - 2451000000

GROUP 9

UN CATEGORIES REPRESENTED
Compulsory Consumerist State – 1
Psychotic Dictatorship – 1
Corrupt Dictatorship – 1
Iron Fist Consumerists – 2
Father Knows Best State – 3
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy – 2

Average Tax Rate: 64.6%
Highest Tax Rate: 100%
Lowest Tax Rate: 10%

Total No. UN members – 2
Total No. Endorsements – 4
Average No. of Endorsements per UN Nation – 2

Total Population: 17935000000
Average Population: 1,793,500,000
Lowest Population: Shang-Ti - 376000000
Highest Population: Wella - 2798000000

GROUP 10 (9 out of 10)

UN CATEGORIES REPRESENTED
Democratic Socialists – 2
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy – 1
Compulsory Consumerist State – 1
Left-Leaning College State – 1
Civil Rights Lovefest - 1
Capitalizt – 1
Capitalist Paradise – 1
New York Times Democracy – 1

Average Tax Rate: 70.9%
Highest Tax Rate: 100%
Lowest Tax Rate: 0%

Total No. UN members – 6
Total No. Endorsements – 10
Average No. of Endorsements per UN Nation - 1.66666666666666666666666666666667

Total Population: 13168000000
Average Population: 1,463,111,111.11111111111111111111111
Lowest Population: Oceaice - 143000000
Highest Population: Melmond - 2868000000

Europa Britannia - NATION NO LONGER EXISTS OR NAME SPELLED WRONG

TOTAL
UN CATEGORIES REPRESENTED
Anarchy – 2
Authoritarian Democracy – 2
Benevolent Dictatorship – 2
Capitalist Paradise - 6
Capitalizt – 3
Civil Rights Lovefest - 3
Compulsory Consumerist State – 6
Corporate Police State – 3
Corrupt Dictatorship – 8
Father Knows Best State – 9
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy – 33
Iron Fist Consumerists – 5
Left-Leaning College State – 9
Left-wing Utopia – 1
Libertarian Police State – 1
New York Times Democracy – 1
Psychotic Dictatorship – 2
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise – 1

Average Tax Rate: 68.71%
Highest Tax Rate: 100%
Lowest Tax Rate: 0%

Total No. UN members – 45
Total No. Endorsements – 178
Average No. of Endorsements per UN Nation – 3.955555556

Total Population: 135,448,000,000
Average Group Population: 13,544,800,000
[/code:1:e0bcd4fd5b]

Most Prevalent Political Orientation: Inoffensive Centrist Democracy – 33
Least Prevalent Political Orientation: Left-wing Utopia, Libertarian Police State,
New York Times Democracy, and Scandinavian Liberal Paradise – 1

Group With Highest Average Tax Rate – Group 1 – 78%
Group With Lowest Average Tax Rate – Group 5 – 62.3%

Group With Highest No. of Endorsements – Group 5 – 65
Group With Lowest No. of Endorsements – Group 9 – 4

Group With Highest Total Population – Group 6 – 18,718,000,000
Group With Lowest Total Population – Group 2 – 9,562,000,000

And In Lovebug Bulldog News The Dogs Have Lost 3 Straight Now – Following The Spaam Loss with Losses to TBF (2-1, Tiger "The Man" Woods was the only one to score for us, we have never beat them in WC play – they forfeited the only “win” we had against them.) and Dance2Revolution (1-0, the Revolution came back to beat us after losing to the Dogs in the Recent Cup of Harmony Competition – we are now 1 for 4 against them in WC action.)

Tommorow we will face Alex The Tall.

The Lowland Clans

07-05-2004, 15:13

Graham City Sun - World Cup Qualifying Coverage

TLC Stars vs Winged Animals

Starting Line Up
[code:1:8b0ac5696b]
---------Asten-----McKeehan-----Blackwing-----Jeremy---------

--------------Julios---------Illius---------Devon-------------

----------West--------------McGraff-----------Oster---------[/code:1:8b0ac5696b]

WINGED ANIMALS - The Stars continued their domination of their qualifying group with a three zip shelacking of the newcomers Winged Animals. The Stars began their game with a quick burst of pressure, which allowed Chee Blackwing to score on a quick cross across a crowded box. The game continued in this fashion, until a potential disaster struck in the ninteenth minute.

The Winged Animals were having their only press on the Stars goal, when a reckless cross by an Animal halfback was knocked down in the crowd infront of the goalie box. Greg Devore dove for it, only to have his arm meet cleet as an Animal forward attempted to slide kick the ball into the goal. Some say the snap could be heard at the nosebleeds, as everything went quiet. He was escorted off the field, and many Stars fans began to have Fleury flashbacks.

Martin Tessler came in with his nerves alittle ragged, but filled in admirably at the goalie spot. The forward was red carded and the man down simply sealed their fate. Mark Jeremy came bursting down the sideline after a steal by Luther Oster, and put a nice cross to Pavel Julios, who went around the defender to score a beautiful goal just past the finger tips of the goalie.

Asten scored the third and final goal in the second half, but the game was over shadowed by the injury to star goalie Greg Devore. After several hours in emergency care at the ER in Winged Animals capital, it was announced that he would never play soccer again. The kick shattered both bones in the arm as well as the elbow, and he would be in a cast for the following year. The team's reaction was shocked, with many tears shed for their friend and comrade. "He was our teams heart and soul," said manager Jeff McKay, "even back in the day when i was playing, he had a maturity that we all wished we had. His composure gave us composure, and without a doubt, he is one of the key reasons we've gotten this far."

Chee Blackwing echoed this statement, "He was everybody's friend, he supported us all through our times of trouble and supported our team through last years debacle." But this tema knows that Tessler can fill in his abscence. "He definitely has the skill. He's also motivated, he's wanted to make a name for himeself for a very long time, and know he gets the chance." says Mark Jeremy.

As for the second goalie on the team, the search begins, with rumors that the Stars may look outside their border for the first time in nearly fifty years...

TLC Stars 3 - 0 Winged Animals
Blackwing (5th, Illius Assist)
Julios (28th, Jeremy Assist)
Asten (63rd, no Assist)

Melmond

07-05-2004, 17:00

This Is Getting Ridiculous
Ladies and Gentlemen: The Forsaken Farmers
By Jay Ununne of the Unne Sun-Times

UNNE, MELMOND—There was an ere of Melmondian optimism throughout the packed Feliz-Unne Stadium in Melmond. Melmond has lost two and is quickly falling to the depths of the Group 10 standings. The opponent is Europa Brittania, usually not a team that most opponents are optimistic about beating. However, here is the scenario. Melmond has its four toughest game so far after a pitiful performance against a group of cupcakes they should have walked over. In all likelihood, Melmond must win two of the matches and tie one at the very least. They got the only loss they can afford, which was at the hands of defending world champions Eauz away from Melmond. The game after this is against heated rivals Brazillico away from Melmond, and with the way the Chili Bats have been playing, that game looks like a lost cause for the Fearless Farmers. This match against Europa Brittania was a virtual must win.
The ambience at Feliz-Unne Stadium truly gave some advantage to the Fearless Farmers at the stadium hosts its first international match. It was a tropical summer day in the city of Unne, something that the Europa Brittania side with their cool climate is not used to at all. Also the seats in Feliz-Unne Stadium are very close to the action, so the wild fans could basically be legally in the face of the Europa Brittanians. This can all add to a claustrophobic experience for the opposite side.
The first half was basically a display of dazzling defence and goalkeeping by both sides. The relatively young back line of Melmond showed very much growth as they were able to halt the very skilled and discipline Europa Brittania attack. Whenever a Europa Brittania striker got a shot off, it was covered by Unne native and goalkeeper for the Unne Yellows, Gina Unne.
The veteran Europa Brittania side’s defence proved to be impenetrable for the Fearless Farmer attack. Strikers Benjamin Leeb and Diallo Unne had absolutely no room to make any shots on goal. In fact Melmond had absolutely no shots on goal for the entire first half. Europa Brittania goalkeeper Mikel Hansen could have been eating an Unne beef sandwich during the match and be just fine between the wickets. Perhaps he was doing so the entire first half. The first half ended scoreless.
In the second half, the offences of both sides have awakened. The first true chance came for the Fearless Farmers. After Europa Brittania conceded a corner kick after defender William Heridan had to kick the ball away in order to stop the offensive pressure. Melmond’s Jonsi Torrini had the honors of taking the corner kick like he usually does. The corner kick was up, another hometowner; Diallo Unne was in position to get the header. However, Europa Brittania midfielder Noel Huntly pushes off. Huntly gets the yellow card from the referee and Diallo Unne gets the penalty kick.
Diallo Unne is nicknamed “The Dagger” for his penchant for clutch goals. He had all the support of his hometown behind him and Europa Brittania goalkeeper Mikel Hansen had all the non-support behind him as well. Emotional advantage goes to Diallo Unne. Diallo Unne takes the penalty. The Europa Brittania goalkeeper guess wrong! But the ball hits the post! After the deflection, Europa Brittania defender William Heridan quickly clears it away. True heartbreak at the 53rd minute as what seemed to be a sure fire goal curved at the last nanosecond to hit the post.
It was very apparent that the Fearless Farmers were reeling from the heartbreak of that penalty as the Europa Brittania counterattack was deployed. The Melmond defence played overly aggressive and the assertive Europa Brittanians sidestepped them. Europa Brittania striker Michele Lombardi, with only Melmond goalkeeper Gina Unne in front of him, sees that she is out of position and sees that Nikolas Kiwitz is streaking. He makes the easy pass to Kiwitz and Gina Unne’s acrobaticness couldn’t save here as Kiwitz gets the easy goal. Kiwitz gives Europa Brittania the lead 1-nil at the 58th minute.
The very frustrated Melmond side has been having the plague of bad luck and frustration intensified with the Europa Brittania goal. Of course in this mindset, more mistakes were bound to happen as Melmond didn’t have the patience to take the best shots at the goal. Whatever shots were made were easily stopped by Mikel Hansen.
Melmond were the victims of another fluke goal at the 71st minute. Trying to find the streaking Kiwitz, Europa Brittania striker David Lester makes a pitifully low cross. Unfortunately, this low cross hit the unaware Melmond defender Sergio Ortiz in the head and the ball deflected right in the net. Gina Unne had no chance whatsoever. Ortiz was in tears as he may have damned the Fearless Farmers into a culture of losing in his hometown. Europa Brittania eventually maintains their 2-nil lead into a victory of the same score. Off to the pub! Order round after round of Stout Lout to our Forsaken Farmers!

Goals
Kiwitz, EBR 58th
Ortiz, EBR (OG) 71st

Cards
Huntly, EBR 53rd

Standings

Other Group 10 Results
The Weegies 2 – Oceaice 0
EL CID THE HERO 0 – Brazillico 4
Largent 0 – Eauz 2
The Confederate 3 – Lallania 1

[code:1:4bbc8ba8df]Group 10
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Brazillico 21 7 0 0 22:6 16
2. Europa Brittania 16 5 1 1 13:3 10
3. Eauz 15 5 0 2 13:5 8
4. The Confederate 13 4 1 2 16:13 3
5. EL CID THE HERO 9 3 0 4 11:14 -3
6. Largent 7 2 1 4 9:14 -5
7. Lallania 7 2 1 4 9:18 -9
8. Melmond 5 1 2 4 10:14 -4
9. The Weegies 4 1 1 5 5:12 -7
10. Oceaice 4 1 1 5 8:17 -9[/code:1:4bbc8ba8df]

Melmond Team Stats
Goals: Chris Owen (4), Critandi Unne (2), Mornakh the Bloody Handed (2), Benjamin Leeb (1)
Cards: Chris Owen (1), Scott Cheney (1)

The Melmond National Team Schedule

@ EL CID THE HERO L 2-1
@ Oceaice T 1-1
v Largent (Microcosm Stadium, Aldi) W 3-0
@ The Confederate T 3-3
v Lallania (Xpress Counsel Field, Cali) L 3-2
@ Eauz L 3-0
v Europa Brittania (Feliz-Unne Stadium, Unne) L 2-0
@ Brazillico
v The Weegies (Frankndottir Stadium, Acosta)
v EL CID THE HERO (Woocat Books Ballpark, O’Connor)
v Oceaice (Lifedonations Stadium, Morales)
@ Largent
v The Confederate (MPNK Stadium, Faasen)
@ Lallania
v Eauz (White Bread Dome, Suburbia)
@ Europa Brittania
v Brazillico (Melmond Bowl, Melmond City)
@ The Weegies

Next Game
at Brazillico

Gee….what great timing. Just as the Melmond National Team needed a pick me up, they get the displeasure of going to Brazillico and meet the red-hot and angry Brazillicans. Melmond may have the series lead with a win in their only meeting, but this is a different set of circumstances. In that match, Melmond was the red hot side and had the home team advantage and took advantage of an arrogant Brazillico side. Brazillico still believes that the Melmond Football Association paid off the referee, but it certainly wasn’t the referee’s fault for their defensive lapses. The Forsaken Farmers have the displeasure of playing this game in one of Brazillico’s most brutal stadiums, Undelay Industries Stadium. The Melmond Football Association has hired bodyguards and white mages just in case the projectile throwing gets out of hand. If there is one optimistic sign the Forsaken Farmers have, it’s that infamous Abysmalistan referee Gurg has been named as the official for this match. He is also the bane of Brazillico and will have his bodyguards. Manager Felix Coostatlwak will start many of his bench players to give his team some fresh energy. Leading scorer Chris Owen also makes his much needed return.

GK- Snhp Xtfuinxm
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Phael Survigosis
D- Kestrel Bluesummers
D- Nina Steen
M- Martin Goodwin
M- Critandi Unne
M- David Bixler
M- Rainy Zoulthane
F- Mornakh the Bloody Handed
F- Chris Owen

We don’t recommend you going to Brazillico, but if you do…get your projectiles and white magic ready!

Melmond

07-05-2004, 17:00

Have you seen the Melmondians Undercover update about The Evil Umpire?

Here's your chance! (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3140419&highlight=#3140419)

Halfassedstates

07-05-2004, 17:21

piss - forums ate the match report!

anyhow in summary
Evil Umpire 3 (#10 15mins, #9 24mins, #9 88mins)
Halfassed 4 (Ya 42 mins, Sherwood 44 & 56 mins, Bendy 74mins)

Brazillico

07-05-2004, 18:22

A Cornucopia of Quotes - Dr. Horatio Cosmo

“Who cares if they reinstated that moron. The ball’s in our court now. I don’t think he’d pull a stunt like that in Brazillico. The way I see it, he shouldn’t be much of a factor.”

“I’d be surprised if he acted up again, especially after the beating we laid on him last time. If he wants to do that again, he knows what he’s got coming.”

“Bodyguards? Who cares about bodyguards? It’s not like he’ll have two big guys in suits following him around on the pitch. If those goons want to get involved, security will take care of them. They don’t scare us at all, even if they’re from the same protection service Melmond also hired their bodyguards from.”

“We’re not trying to intimidate Gurg in any way. We just want him to call it down the line. We’re really looking out for the guys’ safety, because if he doesn’t, he probably won’t get out of Brazillico alive. You know how passionate our fans are and all.”

“Yes, I’ve pencilled in one roster change. Tobias Cannon is being taken out and being replaced by Todd Pink at midfield. Taking Pink’s place at defence will be Simon McCosh. This is a purely strategic move. The fact that McCosh has 10 inches and 60 pounds on Toby had nothing to do with the decision.”

Tingitana

07-05-2004, 18:43

Da Deor Den Tinçitana

Spaamin' All The Way to the Bank

SAVANA -- Everyone was certain that Tingitana's opening six-game winning streak in World Cup XIV qualifying had to be a fluke. The Camels had never played internationally before, for one thing. But the wins kept piling up.

Then came the announcement: we were to play Spaam next.

Spaam has one of the five best teams in the world -- according to the so-called "officials", they're even better than the Bedistani team, though this reporter knows better. They were runners-up in World Cup XIII, falling to Eauz in the final match. So when they arrived today at the Savana Football Grounds, everyone knew it was going to be a slaughter.

But then, maybe we shouldn't underestimate ourselves.

Spaam came out on the offensive, with midfielder Fin Drak coolly passing the ball upfield to Meren Lûin. They apparently hadn't counted on the Camels' defensive line, though -- it's stronger than it looks for only having three men. Barté Sintoro easily cleared the ball to midfield, stopping the Spaamanian attack in its tracks.

Spaam wouldn't be kept out for long, though. Nala Eromleb finally got the ball twelve minutes in and took a powerful shot. Try as he might, Seré Espanaga couldn't handle the ball, and Spaam took an early one-nil lead. Fans were already preparing for the worst.

But the Camels regrouped and managed to hold their own for the rest of the half, continually bogging down the Spaamanian attack in midfield. They wouldn't score again before halftime.

At the half, Tingitana substituted out its two female wingers, putting the other two female squad members (also wingers, believe it or not) in their place.

The second half played out basically like the first half in reverse. This time it was Tingitana on the attack, but nobody could get past Súrion, Rasa, and Drak at midfield. That is, until about fifteen minutes from full time. Left winger Iá Edine threw caution to the winds and snaked her way up the pitch before blasting the ball straight through Spaam's defensive line and past a bewildered Alátari Súrion for the equalizer. When the final whistle blew, the stadium erupted in cheers. Even after facing Spaam, the Camels remained undefeated.

Final score:
Tingitana 1 (Edine 77)
Spaam 1 (Eromleb 12)

The draw keeps Tingitana on top of Group 8 for now, but we need to watch out for Dance 2 Revolution, who have closed back to within a point after a three-match winning streak. Staying undefeated will not be easy, as we visit The Belmore Family for our next match.

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