World Cup 13 - RPs [Archive] - Page 3

Lovebug

05-04-2004, 17:08

LOVEBUG DAILY UPDATE PAGE

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/lovebug.jpg

The Group and Rankings

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Group 5
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Snub Nose 38 35 11 2 0 27: 4 23
2. Warnocks Wizards 27 8 3 2 13: 4 9
3. The Lowland Clans 24 8 0 5 22: 7 15
4. The Belmore Family 21 7 3 3 13: 7 6
5. Dance 2 Revolution 18 4 6 3 8: 6 2
6. Lovisa 18 5 3 5 9:12 -3
7. Aserjin 11 2 5 6 4:14 -10
8. Lovebug 11 3 2 8 9:20 -11
9. Vilita 8 2 2 9 4:18 -14
10.Compound Interest 5 1 2 10 5:22 -17
The Belmore Family was deducted 3 points
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TODAY'S MATCHUP - FEATURING LOVEBUG & Vilita

A MESSAGE FROM THE LNSNN - Apau Ka inoa O aloha, ho'okahi wa hou Ka inoa O aloha and welcome to the first LNSNN broadcast from the shores of Vilita. I’m Keonimakaio http://espn.starwave.com/i/talent/madden/head.jpg and I’m Kanielapakelika http://espnradio.espn.go.com/i/columnists/patrick_dan_c.jpg and we are here in Vilita and I have to say this must be the strangest broadcast I’ve had to make in along time. We watched as the Lovebug team took the field but it wasn’t the team we expected. (Keonimakaio) – No sir, the Lovebug fans took a collective gasp in when they saw the entire third string hit the field for the first time this season. We sent our field correspondent Likekemeanui http://www.dickvitaleonline.com/resources/dv.gif down to see what was going on… (Likekemeanui) – Hello Sports Fans, I’m here on the field where Lovebug’s 1st and 2nd string players are refusing to enter the field - I asked the coach what was going on…(Coach – This being our first match-up in Vilita the team decided to do some research on the nation on the flight over. The team found out that Vilita supports censorship and gay marriage – two issues the 1st and 2nd strings feel strongly against. The third string agreed to hit the field so the team wouldn’t forfeit even though they feel just as strongly on those issues. I tried to talk them into playing but they refused, and I have to respect them for their convictions even though it is going to severely impair our chances today, the third string not having had a chance to practice in the last week. But I will tell you one thing – we’re taking all the computers off the team plane before tomorrow’s match-up!) Well you heard it – the team sitting out in protest over the policies here in Vilita. Well this has been Likekemeanui here on the field back to you boys in the studio. (Kanielapakelika) – Amazing, well I guess it goes to prove that jocks actually do care about something other than sports. (Keonimakaio) – Yeah I guess you’re right – well lets look in on the match-up. It’s the final minute and a half of the game and Lovebug and Vilita have held each other to a 0-0 tie, the third string has been surprisingly strong in this match up despite the lack of practice. (Kanielapakelika) – Wait, Wait… Vilita’s midfielder No. 22 - Alexander Östling just broke away, he’s heading down the field, shuffling past all of our defenders, SCORE. BZZZZZZZZZZ. It’s all over folks Vilita manages to get one in just in the nick of time to win over Lovebug (1-0). (Keonimakaio) – What a disappointment, it had looked as if Lovebug was going to get a draw despite playing the third stringers, and at the last minute it all fell apart. I have to say this was a strange but exciting day in LNSNN broadcast history. (Kanielapakelika) – I would have to agree, well that’s all from Vilita – we will see you tomorrow as we head back home for a match-up against Dance 2 revolution – we lost last time 3-0. Let’s hope we can pull out a victory this time. Until tomorrow I’m Kanielapakelika. And I’m Keonimakaio and this has been a LNSNN broadcast and until tomorrow remember Apau Ka inoa O aloha, ho'okahi wa hou Ka inoa O aloha!

TOMMOROW'S MATCHUP - FEATURES LOVEBUG & DANCE 2 REVOLUTION

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Yesterday’s Predictions
Correct Outcome Predictions – 3/5, Score Predictions Correct – 0/5
Warnocks Wizards will win against Dance 2 Revolution (3-1) – ACTUAL SCORE (Wizzards 2, Revolution 1)
Snub Nose 38 will win against Lovisa (3-0) – ACTUAL SCORE – (Lovisa 1, Snub Nose 1)
The Lowland Clans will win against Compound Interest (1-0) – ACTUAL SCORE – (Lowland Clans 3, Compound Interest 0)
The Belmore Family will win against Aserjin (2-1) – ACTUAL SCORE – (TBF 3, Aserjin 0)
Lovebug will win against Vilita (1-0) – ACTUAL SCORE – (Vilita 1, Lovebug 0)

Predictions for Tommorow's Group 5 Match Ups
TBF will win against Vilita (3-0)
Dance 2 Revolution will win against Lovebug (2-0)
Wizards will draw with Lovisa (1-1)
Snub Nose will win over CI (4-0)
The Lowland Clans will win over Aserjin (2-0)
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WORLD CUP SCORE CARD

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Pts W D L GF:GA GD
Snub Nose 38 35 11 2 0 27: 4 23
Giant Zucchini 35 11 2 0 25: 2 23
Audioslavia 33 11 0 2 27: 6 21
Europa Brittania 33 11 0 2 25: 5 20
Squornshelous 33 10 3 0 22: 4 18
Gesamtkuntswerk 33 10 3 0 19: 2 17
Nikea 32 10 2 1 27: 6 21
Oddslavo 31 10 1 2 32: 6 26
Halfassedstates 31 10 1 2 28: 8 20
Eauz 31 10 1 2 26: 3 23
Tanah Burung 31 10 1 2 25: 5 20
The Weegies 30 10 0 3 24: 8 16
Ravenspire 30 10 0 3 21: 9 12
Spaam 30 9 3 1 26: 7 19
The Eagles Nest 29 9 2 2 20: 6 14
Dennisov 29 9 2 2 19: 7 12
Svecia 29 9 2 2 18: 4 14
Kerla 29 8 5 0 23: 8 15
Total n Utter Insanity 28 9 1 3 18: 7 11
Antaeus Rising 28 8 4 1 20: 5 15
Oglethorpia 28 8 4 1 16: 4 12
Brazillico 27 9 0 4 18:10 8
Jeruselem 27 8 3 2 24:14 10
Liverpool England 27 8 3 2 23: 8 15
Aquilla 27 8 3 2 21: 5 16
Sliponia 27 8 3 2 18: 7 11
Warnocks Wizards 27 8 3 2 13: 4 9
One Red Dot 26 8 2 3 18: 5 13
Belmorian Scandinavia 26 7 5 1 24: 7 17
Bedistan 26 7 5 1 20: 5 15
Runaway Moose 25 8 1 4 22:12 10
Mattigool 25 8 1 4 17:11 6
Lemmitania 25 7 4 2 19: 7 12
Commerce Heights 25 7 4 2 17: 6 11
The Lowland Clans 24 8 0 5 22: 7 15
Avenging Altos 23 7 2 4 23:12 11
Timway 23 7 2 4 22: 9 13
Creedence Clearwater 23 7 2 4 21:13 8
Alex The Tall 23 6 5 2 19:11 8
East Spaam 22 7 1 5 21:12 9
Anti-Nazis 22 6 4 3 19:10 9
Praying2God 22 6 4 3 17:11 6
The Belmore Family 21 7 3 3 13: 7 6
Vozvyshennost 21 6 3 4 15: 8 7
Kingsford 21 6 3 4 13: 8 5
Kaze Progressa 20 5 5 3 18:13 5
Stalag 5 20 5 5 3 14:13 1
Grand master Mark 19 6 1 6 16:12 4
The Redavic Union 19 6 1 6 14:18 -4
NEWI Cefn Druids 18 5 3 5 13:15 -2
Iansisle 18 5 3 5 12:12 0
Lovisa 18 5 3 5 9:12 -3
Eaglet 18 4 6 3 16:13 3
Dance 2 Revolution 18 4 6 3 8: 6 2
Magnus Valerius 17 4 5 4 14:15 -1
Gormith 17 4 5 4 12:14 -2
Murphdawggia 17 4 5 4 10:15 -5
The Republican Army 15 5 0 8 11:20 -9
Gaddland 15 4 3 6 10:13 -3
EL CID THE HERO 15 3 6 4 15:16 -1
Zinkoland 14 4 2 7 12:17 -5
Melmond 14 4 2 7 11:21 -10
Tadjikistan 14 3 5 5 9:18 -9
NASTIC 2 14 3 5 5 8: 9 -1
Anahit 12 3 3 7 7:22 -15
Lovebug 11 3 2 8 9:20 -11
The Alan Belmore Army 11 3 2 8 8:23 -15
Steves Island 11 3 2 8 6:23 -17
BSE Free Bovines 11 2 5 6 11:17 -6
Aserjin 11 2 5 6 4:14 -10
Fortuna Prospera 10 3 1 9 6:20 -14
Formula One Racing 10 3 1 9 5:16 -11
Pablicosta 10 2 4 7 10:20 -10
Lennon Marx 10 2 4 7 7:17 -10
Raptor Claw 10 2 4 7 7:17 -10
Indigo Islands 9 3 0 10 8:18 -10
Skipdonia 9 3 0 10 5:17 -12
Vilita 8 2 2 9 4:18 -14
West Gaddland 7 2 1 10 5:22 -17
Fahigland 7 2 1 10 4:27 -23
Wella 7 1 4 8 7:26 -19
Intelligent Madness 7 1 4 8 6:27 -21
Jaegermeistria 7 1 4 8 5:18 -13
Just an egg 7 1 4 8 4:18 -14
Alpha Commune 7 1 4 8 3:17 -14
Free Radicals of Mu-Mu 6 1 3 9 6:19 -13
Largent 6 1 3 9 5:27 -22
Haraki 6 1 3 9 4:25 -21
Compound Interest 5 1 2 10 5:22 -17
Resistencia 5 1 2 10 4:24 -20
Pablitopia 5 1 2 10 4:27 -23
Hawcoat 5 1 2 10 2:19 -17
Hazatak 5 0 5 8 5:21 -16
Zephyrs 4 0 4 9 5:22 -17
Mordecei 4 0 4 9 4:22 -18
Jagiellonia 4 0 4 9 4:31 -27
Aerigia 4 0 4 9 0:17 -17
Gleam Street 3 0 3 10 2:23 -21
Crystilakere 2 0 2 11 3:26 -23
New Cyprus 0 0 0 13 4:28 -24
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Bedistan

05-04-2004, 17:22

The Bedistan Sports Digest

Qualification Run Continues
Sound n00b-thrashing should help

RESISTENCIA -- There was a national day of mourning in Bedistan after matchday 12 due to the Lions' first loss of WC13 qualifiers at home against Dennisov. Though the loss had been predicted for several matchdays, the fact remains that it could not have come at a worse possible time. The six-pointer helped launch Dennisov up into second place, leaving the Lions to worry about holding on to the final qualification slot.

Bedistan's performance today in Resistencia, though not particularly impressive, was still good enough to notch another 3-0 victory against the group-propper-uppers. It doesn't really mean anything, though, as Dennisov and Avenging Altos also won their matches against Iansisle and Mu-Mu, respectively, leaving a three-point gap in each direction.

What does Bedistan's road to the Cup look like? Well, let's see what the main contenders are up against:

1. Audioslavia
Though still six points from a lock (and not quite five as they claim), it seems pretty obvious that the 'slaves are going through. Their fixtures for the final five days are of moderate difficulty, and the 'slaves can probably manage at least 10 points.
MD14: Fahigland vs Audioslavia
MD15: Audioslavia vs Bedistan
MD16: Iansisle vs Audioslavia
MD17: Audioslavia vs Dennisov
MD18: Resistencia vs Audioslavia

2. Dennisov
Dennisov arguably have the momentum now, having won their last two matches, and the rest of their schedule is relatively easy, with the primary challenge being Audioslavia. But with Dennisov playing the three bottom-dwellers, they should easily expect around 13 points.
MD14: Avenging Altos vs Dennisov
MD15: Resistencia vs Dennisov
MD16: Dennisov vs Magnus Valerius
MD17: Audioslavia vs Dennisov
MD18: Dennisov vs Free Radicals of Mu-Mu

3. Bedistan
Despite stumbling a bit after the Dennisov match, the Lions seem to have gotten back in gear against Resistencia and will probably be able to keep it going for the long haul. Also, apart from Audioslavia, the rest of their opponents are basically the bottom half of the table. As long as they don't slip up against Valerius like they did the first time, they should be able to make a strong showing. Like Dennisov, they can probably expect 13 points.
MD14: Bedistan vs Magnus Valerius
MD15: Audioslavia vs Bedistan
MD16: Bedistan vs Free Radicals of Mu-Mu
MD17: NEWI Cefn Druids vs Bedistan
MD18: Bedistan vs Fahigland

4. Avenging Altos
They are certainly the underdogs, but the Altos have made a surprising showing this time around. Suffice it to say that the Bedistani team is glad they don't have to play the Altos again, given their failure to win any of the four previous matches. They too have a relatively easy lineup (save the next match), putting them on a somewhat equal footing with Bedistan and Dennisov. They'll be looking for somewhere around 12 points from the last five matches.
MD14: Avenging Altos vs Dennisov
MD15: NEWI Cefn Druids vs Avenging Altos
MD16: Avenging Altos vs Resistencia
MD17: Fahigland vs Avenging Altos
MD18: Avenging Altos vs Magnus Valerius

5-6. Iansisle/NEWI Cefn Druids
These two teams really only have an outside chance of making it now, currently eight points out of third place. Iansisle has a moderate-difficulty lineup, but we're only looking for them to come up with four points from the whole set. The Druids have it tougher on paper, but a late rally could produce nine points for them. That still won't be enough to get in, though.

7. Magnus Valerius
They're even farther outside than the Ians and the Druids, and a projected six points won't get them anywhere near the qualification zone.

8-10. The New Teams
These teams have been officially eliminated as of Matchday 13.

Matches to Watch
These matches would appear to be the most important for the end of WC13 qualifiers in Group Ten:
MD14: Avenging Altos vs Dennisov
MD15: Audioslavia vs Bedistan
MD16: Iansisle vs Audioslavia
MD17: Audioslavia vs Dennisov
MD18: Nothing, really

Melmond

05-04-2004, 21:00

An Indigestible Performance
Bad Karma, Bad BLTs, Bad Turnip Juice, and a Cowpie Brings Down Fearless Farmers
By Zuke O’Kenzie of the O’Connor Times

BARNVILLE, BSE FREE BOVINES—In the epic battles between farmer and bovine, the digestive system has played a large part in the matches. In the first match up between Melmond and the BSE Free Bovines in Lifedonations Stadium in Morales; the Fearless Farmer Fatso let out a major belch brought on by Beef-B-Q indigestion which changed the trajectory on what would have been a game tying goal. This time though, it was the Fearless Farmers with the performance that was hard to swallow.
This performance really shows that not just the fans, but the players should read and heed the advice of the Therewegoes Travel Guide. For the pre-game meal, the Fearless Farmers feasted on BLTs and fermented turnip juice. As the travel guide warned and the Fearless Farmers found out after the fact about the bad BLTs, the Melmond National Team had faces as green as their uniforms as they were to take the field. At least they fared better than the waterboy, who downed some buffalo chips and a Molotov cocktail.
While the Fearless Farmers seemed to be paying their dues for Paul “Edgy” Shields’ cheap shot on Tanah Burung’s Theys Eluay, the BSE Free Bovines had something to prove. The team was seeing red after finding out that their formerly beloved mascot Horace had abandoned them to play for the Eagle’s Nest. The Bovines came out charging against the sickly Melmond side, which seemed to be playing at 50 percent.
The Bovines dominated possession and played physically against Melmond. Bovine striker Brahms looked to have a clear goal until ill defender Phael Survigosis, taking cue from Melmondian fans, hurls a projectile of his own. Brahms slipped on the tossed cookie and goalkeeper Cory Yankovic was able to scoop it up. The ball that is.
While Melmond was intoxicated by food poisoning, young BSE Free Bovine striker Wagyu was rumoured to be piss drunk during the whole game as he had a beer drinking binge prior to the match up. Drunk or not, Wagyu had a career day.
At the 22nd minute, Wagyu either demonstrated an amazing display of ball control or staggered randomly so much that it confused the Melmond defense. He shoots the ball to the net. Usually Cory Yankovic would make the easy save, but she was just struggling to gather the energy to run toward the ball. The ball went in and the BSE Free Bovines went up 1-nil. The first half would end at that score as the Fearless Farmers crawled to the locker room as the Bovines stormed with confidence except Wagyu, who struggled to jog in a straight line.
At the second half, Wagyu and the BSE Free Bovines strike again at the 47th minute. On a Piedmontese corner kick, either Wagyu makes a well timed header or he either fell down of drunkenness at the right time. Either way, the Wagyu header got by the Melmond goalkeeper. The score was 2-nil in favor of the BSE Free Bovines.
The bad karma continues for the Fearless Farmers. At the 60th minute, midfielder Critandi Unne, arguably the superstar of Melmond football, slips on a cowpie still on the Pasture pitch and gets a concussion. S/he will have to leave the game due to an incident that could have been prevented because it was Horace’s duty to clean up those things. Rainy Zoulthane comes in for Unne.
At the 73rd minute, BSE Free Bovines midfielder Jersey finds a wide open Wagyu, who collides with Melmond goalkeeper Cory Yankovic. An interference foul was called on Cory Yankovic and Wagyu got the penalty kick. Wagyu completely whiffs the kick; however the force of the wind from the whiff as well as Yankovic’s disorientation has the ball slowly roll into the net. Wagyu scores his first every hat trick, and he may not even know he did it.
At the 75th minute, Melmond substitute striker Taxt finally makes it to the game. He had overslept and missed the team breakfast. Being the only non-ill player on the Melmond squad, Manager Felix Coostatlwak brings in Taxt for Chris Owen. Five minutes later, Taxt weaves around the Bovine defense and strikes a ball past Bovine goalkeeper Ankole. The Fearless Farmers score what was basically a vanity goal. Taxt makes the score 3-1 in favor of the Bovines and that will end up being the final in an understandably pathetic effort.
The Fearless Farmers were too ill to do after match interviews, as they just plan on sleeping and taking some pure potions on the trip back to Melmond. This journalist gets the impression that the Fearless Farmers are going to struggle in the next couple games as Shields is still out with the red card and superstar Critandi Unne is out with a concussion. Fortunately, minnows Raptor Claw is our opponent for our next match at home. This would make a good chance to recover physically and mentally.

Goals
Wagyu, BFB 22nd
Wagyu, BFB 47th
Wagyu, BFB 73rd
Taxt, MEL 75th

Cards
None

Standings

Other Group 1 Results
Raptor Claw 2 – Alpha Commune 0
Ravenspire 1 – Kingsford 0
Skipdonia 0 – Svecia 1
Tanah Burung 1 – Stalag 5 1

[code:1:7632908eb8]Group 1
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Tanah Burung 31 10 1 2 25: 5 20
2. Ravenspire 30 10 0 3 21: 9 12
3. Svecia 29 9 2 2 18: 4 14
4. Kingsford 21 6 3 4 13: 8 5
5. Stalag 5 20 5 5 3 14:13 1
6. Melmond 14 4 2 7 11:21 -10
7. BSE Free Bovines 11 2 5 6 11:17 -6
8. Raptor Claw 10 2 4 7 7:17 -10
9. Skipdonia 9 3 0 10 5:17 -12
10.Alpha Commune 7 1 4 8 3:17 -14[/code:1:7632908eb8]

Melmond Team Stats
Goals: Critandi Unne (4), Chris Owen (2), Diallo Unne (1), Camui Arai (1), Martin Goodwin (1), Benjamin Leeb (1), Taxt (1)
Cards: Cristina Antunez (2), Jonsi Torrini (2), Paul “Edgy” Shields (1,1), Nina Steen (1), Taxt (1)

Melmond National Team Schedule

@ Svecia L 4-0
v Skipdonia (Farmers Field, Melmond City) W 1-0
@ Tanah Burung L 2-0
v BSE Free Bovines (Lifedonations Stadium, Morales) W 1-0
@ Raptor Claw W 2-1
v Ravenspire (Microcosm Stadium, Aldi) L 2-0
@ Alpha Commune T 1-1
@ Kingsford L 2-0
v Stalag 5 (Walladome, Acosta) T 1-1
v Svecia (Unne Sports Temple, Unne) L 2-1
@ Skipdonia W 3-1
v Tanah Burung (Xpress Counsel Field, Cali) L 2-0
@ BSE Free Bovines L 3-1
v Raptor Claw (Woocat Books Ballpark, O’Connor)
@ Ravenspire
v Alpha Commune (MPNK Stadium, Faasen)
v Kingsford (Farmers Field, Melmond City)
@ Stalag 5

Next Game
vs. Raptor Claw (at Woocat Books Ballpark, O’Connor)

The Melmond National Team is probably at its most vulnerable right now. They are now on a two game losing streak and are without two key players: Paul “Edgy” Shields, who will be serving his second match of a two match red card suspension, and superstar Critandi Unne who is recovering from a concussion obtained by slipping on a cowpie in the Pasture. Fortunately, the Fearless Farmers have the comfort of playing in front of a home crowd against a relatively weak Raptor Claw side. Manager Felix Coostatlwak will try to make the best of losing the talents of Shields and Critandi Unne by placing in longballer Kestrel Bluesummers and the physical David Bixler as starters for the next match. Rainy Zoulthane will also get the start to play in front of her home club crowd in O’Connor in place of Cristina Antunez.

GK- Cory Yankovic
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Kestrel Bluesummers
D- Nina Steen
M- Martin Goodwin
M- David Bixler
M- Camui Arai
M- Rainy Zoulthane
F- Chris Owen
F- Benjamin Leeb

Woocat Books Ballpark
Location: O’Connor Melmond
Seats: 48,395 (Retractable Roof)

The city of O’Connor is Melmond’s fourth largest city. It is the big city hub which is smack dab in the middle of the Melmondian fertile plain. O’Connor is also the heart of the largest industry in Melmond, the book publishing industry. The monies of Woocat Books, the oldest book publisher in Melmond, as well as the city of O’Connor built the state of the art Woocat Books Ballpark during the rise of popularity of the Batter Up Baseball League. The forecast calls for a subzero day with high winds, so expect the roof to be closed. If you want to warm up, try the signature O’Connor sandwich known as the Big O. It may not be cast in the name of god, but ye shall be guilty if you don’t try the haute blend of maple glazed chicken topped by melted Swiss cheese wrapped in a boxty.

Snub Nose 38

05-04-2004, 21:20

Snub Nose 38

05-04-2004, 21:37

We interrupt our regular programming to bring you an important announcement from the Ministry of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages. PLEASE STAND BY.

*fade in on the minister of athletics, olympics, and alcoholic beverages standing behind a podium at a large press conference. television camera crews, and sound crews from both tv and radio, flood the back of the room. the minister is in formal attire – black tails, white tie, crimson sash, the jewel encrusted hilt of his ceremonial saber creating a mini-light show in the hot bright lights. next to the minister, in silk burgundy robe and velvet midnight blue hooded cape, the silver star of the order of the knights of enfield on a blue and red ribbon handing ‘round her neck, a silver tiara creating it’s own little light show atop her head, stands maragart.*

- Ladies and gentlemen…
- *******(margaret whispers in his ear)
- …ur…and sentient vegetation, various and sundry sentient…um…punctuation marks, farm animals, and, well…”other”.
- ***
- Be quiet, MargaretEarlier today a foul and despicable falsehood was foisted upon the universe of international football.
- …*****(margaret whispers in his ear again)
- Oh, yes. As evidenced by this film clip.

Crowd chants (to the tune of 'Campione'): MARGARET'S SCREWED US, MARGARET'S SCREWED US, OH-OHHHHH-OHHHHHHH-OHHHH...

- The Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38 takes umbrage at such spurious accusations. Why, we aren’t even playing the Kaze Progressans. Nothing could be further from the truth than the outright fabrication being perpetrated on the football world by Kaze Progressa. While we do admit that we do have someone on staff known as “Margaret”, we categorically deny the report of interference in this football match. We do have a modicum of empathy for the loss suffered by Kaze Progressa, but cannot condone the act of trying to mask their own inabilities by using a citizen of Snub Nose 38 as a scapegoat.

*a small goat is hurled through the air at this point*

- No, no, no, no!! This is NOT half-time at a Hooligans match!

*a small, worried looking man emerges from the crowd, gathers up the goat, and hurries off*

- Therefore, we hereby demand an apology from the Kaze Progressans – the government, the football side, their equivalent of my ministry – doesn’t matter to us, just so the apology is offered.

*margaret nudges him – it’s quite an impressive nudge*

- Er…yes. In the interim the Snub Nose 38 Army is assembling troops. Should the apology fail to be forth coming, the Guy Currently In Charge Of Stuff For The Frost-Free Borderlands Of Snub Nose 38 might find it necessary to send both of them to assist Kaze Progressa in deciding that discretion is the better part of valor.

*a reporter in the front row asks a question that we can’t here. we do, however, hear the ministers’ answer*

- That’s correct – both of our soldiers.

*margaret nudges him again – almost knocking him over*

- Margaret! Ah…look, guys, no questions today. We’ve said our piece. The ball’s in Kaze Progressa’s court now.

*another question from up front*

- Golf ball, I think. That’s all, now.

*the minister, margaret, and their retinue file back into the ministry building. chewing this bit of news over in our mind, we don’t even notice when our favorite soap, “Two Lives to Live”, comes back on.*

Scuttlebutt – Evening Edition
Lovisa Mike Easter, aspn wire

Today’s qualifying match for World Cup XIII pitted the Phantom Hooligans of Snub Nose 38 against up-and-coming Lovisa – at home for the Lovisans. With quite a different result than the first time these sides met.

The first meeting took place on the fourth day of qualifying matches at “38 Special” stadium, the national stadium of Snub Nose 38. That day the Hooligans out-classed and out-played the Lovisans 3 to 0.

Today the national side of Lovisa showed that they are World Class. Keep in mind that Snub Nose 38 Hooligans have been participating in World Cup action since World Cup 3, and have been pretty competitive for most of that time. To say nothing of the fact that the Hooligans currently enjoy the best qualifying record of all sides participating in World Cup XIII. To be truthful, we have to qualify that last statement by noting that the Hooligans lead their closest competition, Giant Zucchini, only by a slight advantage in Goals For. Both are on 35 points after 13 matches, both with 11 wins and 2 draws, and both with Goal Differentials of 23. But while Giant Zucchini have scored 25 goals so far during the qualifiers, Snub Nose 38 have 27. A pretty slim margin, we must admit.

The Lovisans did what only one other side, the national side of The Belmore Family, have been able to do so far – NOT lose to the Hooligans. After a fierce battle on the pitch (one wants to say “pitched” battle, but…) Lovisa, who had scored first in the 32nd minute, gave up only a single goal to the Ghastly Ghostly Hooligans – in the 59th minute – to bring the match to a 1 to 1 draw. Exactly the same score by which The Belmore Family drew with Snub Nose 38 on matchday 8.

There is no doubt about it – this Lovisan squad is vastly improved since these sides met on matchday 4. They left the pitch disappointed to have had to settle for a draw! Truly a sign of their maturity as a football side to consider a draw, against a side no one has been able to take a win from, as “not good enough”.

Watch out for these boys. They’ve come to play.

A point to note for Hooligan fans – two points more and the Hooligans will have qualified. That’s with 5 qualifying matches yet to play. That’s a nice change from their disappointing outing in World Cup 12.

Total n Utter Insanity

05-04-2004, 23:44

TnUI writers set to go on strike

Chief Writer Person Derek Lithgow had this to say at a press conference earlier today:

“It’s hard enough thinking up interesting and funny RPs as it is, without being awarded the same bonus as the Aquillan Writers, who can’t even write. We’d much rather Aquilla got to the finals and won the cup, than to write some crap to get a so called ‘higher RP Bonus’ and qualify.”

This brought into doubt if the 3 current mini-plots involving Insanician Legends, Belless, Day and Hill, would be finished. More on this news story if and when it’s resolved.

The Eagles Nest

06-04-2004, 01:41

Horace's Debut Lifts Birds To Win

Horace Scores 2 In 4-0 Win Over Mattigool

With Horace freshly signed with the Nest, his contract validated, and his sentence done in Melmond, Horace came onto the pitch not as a Keeper, but a midfielder. Apparently he has worked on his speed work and has joined the side for now as a midfielder, but is officially listed as teh backup keeper as well.

Horace started the match early with a great run and give and go with Josh Adams that resulted in the keeper for Mattigool staying with Adams and leaving Horace wide open for the 1-0 lead. 4 minutes Horace unleashed (literally) the second goal of the game when, after receiving the ball, turned and released one of his Methane blasts to propell the ball towards the net. Because the stench traveled faster than the ball, the 'Gool keeper was knocked out by the fumes and the ball bounced untouched into the goal for a 2-nil lead at half.

The second half, Horace received a double coverage as two midfielders kept their eyes on Horace (with nose plugs on of course) but the distraction allowed Adams to score twice on his patentled header, once on a shot from Gratunia, and once on a corner kick from Horace. The game ended 4-0 Nest, and the home Gool crowd was absolutely stunned.

With the win, the Birds extended their lead over now tied Mattigool and Commerce Heights to 4 points to hold on to their 2nd place position. Their next two games against Formula One Racing and Fortuna Prospera may give the Birds enough points to be able not worry as much, but with 5 teams within 8 points... well, it's too early to say anything is a lock at this point.

Scoring

The Eagle's Nest
Horace (1) 23:17
Horace (2) 27:58
J. Adams (17) 48:12
J. Adams (18 ) 84:33

Mattigool
None

MatchDay 13 Recap
No bad superstitions here as the Nest scored 4 today, tying for second best performance in the group. Commerce Heights tied in a tough game and Vozyshennost failed to score against Gleam Street to make the race just a bit more interesting. A special review show will be televised at 8 pm after tomorrow's game.

Anti-Nazis 0 Commerce Heights 0
Formula One Racing 0 Gesamtkuntswerk 2
Mattigool 0 The Eagles Nest 4
Mordecei 1 Fortuna Prospera 1
Vozvyshennost 0 Gleam Street 0

[code:1:ab1a71ed01]
Group 4 Standings
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Gesamtkuntswerk 13 10 3 0 19 2 17 33 48
2 The Eagle's Nest 13 9 2 2 20 6 14 29 44
3 Commerce Heights 13 7 4 2 17 6 11 25 40
4 Mattigool 13 8 1 4 17 11 6 25 40
5 Anti-Nazis 13 6 4 3 19 10 9 22 37
6 Vozvyshennost 13 6 3 4 15 8 7 21 36
7 Formula One Racing 13 3 1 9 5 16 -11 10 25
8 Fortuna Prospera 13 3 1 9 6 20 -14 10 25
E Mordecei 13 0 4 9 4 22 -18 4 19
E Gleam Street 13 0 3 10 2 23 -21 3 18
[/code:1:ab1a71ed01]

The Eagle's Nest WCXIII Qualifying Campaign
Eagle's Nest @ Gleam Street Win 2-0
Eagle's Nest v. Mordecei Win 1-0
Eagle's Nest @ Gesamtkuntswerk Loss 0-3
Eagle's Nest v. Mattigool Win 2-1
Eagle's Nest @ Formula One Racing Win 2-0
Eagle's Nest v. Fortuna Prospera Win 3-0
Eagle's Nest @ Vozvyshennost Win 1-0
Eagle's Nest v. Commerce Heights Tie 0-0
Eagle's Nest @ Anti-Nazis Tie 0-0

Eagle's Nest v. Gleam Street Win 1-0
Eagle's Nest @ Mordecei Win 3-0
Eagle's Nest V. Gesamtkuntswerk Loss 1-2
Eagle's Nest @ Mattigool Win 4-0
Eagle's Nest v. Formula One Racing
Eagle's Nest @ Fortuna Prospera
Eagle's Nest v. Vozvyshennost
Eagle's Nest @ Commerce Heights
Eagle's Nest v. Anti-Nazis

Svecia

06-04-2004, 02:35

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

THUNDER IN SKIPDONIA
Another road win pulls Svecia, Ravenspire within one of TB
Måndag, 5 April

Skipdonia - The lights went out in Skipdonia. Literally. But once again Svecia prevailed on the road to pull within one point of Group 1 leader Tanah Burung.

Despite a torrential downpour in the countries capitol, the game began. That is until Fransisco Carati scored in the 42nd minute. And then everything was brought to a halt.

The power in the part of the city where the stadium was located went out. And with that the game came to a grinding hald. About 8 minutes later, the power was returned to the stadium and the match continued. But Svecia didn't relinquish their lead.

The win on the road is incredibly valuable. Svecia now has a record of 5-1-1 on the road in this qualifying round. But yet to come for the Lightning are Ravenspire and Tanah Burung. And these games will decide who goes through.

Spaam

06-04-2004, 06:06

United Spaam Sports Weekly

The Infamous Magazine Returns In Colour!

Alan Belmore Dies (Yet Again) During Spaam VS Aerigia

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/spaam.jpg VS http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/aerigia.jpg

Spaam were looking forward to equalling their record of 8 straight unbeaten matches when they hosted their Heartland neighbours Aerigia in
Drakken City Football Stadium. With their nil all draw still fresh in their minds, the Spaamanians would accept no less than a win at their home
ground, and with Aerigia still yet to score a goal, Spaam were unbackable favourites. Coach Sëhelin was resting young striker Olisade for this
match, after he experienced a cold during the week, but the rest of the lineup was mostly unchanged. Aerigian coach Richard Randall had only
one striker, Alan Belmore, in his lineup, preferring to put most of his team into defense and midfield.

Spaam
[code:1:beffadf074]Forwards : Lûin, Eromleb, Elrik, Karskí
Midfield : E. Súrion, Rasa, Sibik
Defense : F. Súrion, Klos, Arnatu
Goalkeeper: A. Súrion[/code:1:beffadf074]

Aerigia
[code:1:beffadf074]Forwards : Belmore
Midfield : Toshifuni, Obelimianse, Rogers, Bak, Yeung
Defense : Towers, Choi, Hamann, Waldoch
Goalkeeper: Lennox[/code:1:beffadf074]

Aerigia were put on the wrong foot early in the match when Lûin broke away with the ball in the 3rd minute, creating a one-on-one situation with
the Aerigian keeper Lennox, that Lûin won, showing her true skill as a striker. After this, Aerigian striker Alan Belmore tried to showoff his skill
by running away with the ball, but ended up tripping over it. This allowed defender Finrod Súrion to kick the ball upfield to Nala Eromleb, who passed
it to Lûin, who, being in a perfect position, shot the ball into goal giving the keeper no chance. Spaam were thus up 2 nil in the 10th minute, and were
looking like achieving a record high score, until tragedy struck.

Alan Belmore started throwing a tantrum, which involved him throwing punches at a startled Finrod Súrion. This led to Nala Eromleb, Meren Lûin,
and Finrod's sisters, Elen and Alátari, rushing up and launching into Alan Belmore. It was then five on one, but noone from the Aerigian team went
to help Alan. It was only when Alan let out a blood curdling scream that the referees were forced to intervene, and broke the fight up. Meren Lûin,
Nala Eromleb, and the Súrion triplets were all given red cards, and Alan Belmore was taken to hospital, where he later died of a massive stupidity attack.

After the game restarted, Spaam had 6 players to Aerigia's 11, but there were no more goals, due to the incompetence of the Aerigian attack, and
the pure lack of numbers on the Spaamanian side. The game was still exciting though, as the Spaamanians managed to fend off a team nearly
double their side, proving that Spaam has some of the most naturally talented players in the world. The win was Spaam's 8th straight unbeaten
match, which equalled the record that they made in the last World Cup. However, Lûin, Eromleb, and the Súrions are suffering a one match ban,
and so Spaam will be without its top 5 players in an away match against Oglethorpia, a team which Spaam is yet to beat.

Spaam 2
(Lûin 3, 10)
Aerigia 0

Alan Belmore Corpse Missing

A public release by Drakken City Hospital claimed that Alan Belmore hard died (yet again) from a massive stupidity attack, caused by trying to
attack 5 people at once. Pictures of his bloody mangled body were even released to the public, including one which is making the rounds on the net
with the words PWNZD! printed underneath. However, when it came time to throw him on the garbage heap bury him, the corpse was
missing, even after a hospital wide search. Hospital officials are saying that is is probably the result of a prank, and they will "find him in the
slums 'burbs with some kids, using his head as a soccerball."

Matchday Thirteen Review

Kaze Progressa hosted Alex The Tall, in a crucial match for both teams, but it resulted in a 1 all draw. Pablitopia damaged the visiting
Praying2God's chances by keeping the game to scoreless draw. Runaway Moose had their revenge on Gaddland, winning 1 nil at home, while
Oglethorpia went to West Gaddland, and came away with an easy 2 nil win. Spaam keeps its top spot in the group with 30 points, 2 ahead of
Oglethorpia in second, and is now almost certain to qualify. Runaway Moose is third on 25 points, with Alex The Tall 2 points behind, and
Praying2God fifith on 22 points. Kaze Progressa is still in the running, sixth on 20 points, while Gaddland is now all but eliminated in seventh on 15
points. West Gaddland, Pablitopia, and Aerigia are all eliminated, and round out the minor placings.

[code:1:beffadf074]Group 9 P W D L F A GD Pts
Spaam 13 9 3 1 26 7 +19 30
Oglethorpia 13 8 4 1 16 4 +12 28
Runaway Moose 13 8 1 4 22 12 +10 25
Alex The Tall 13 6 5 2 19 11 +8 23
Praying2God 13 6 4 3 17 11 +6 22
Kaze Progressa 13 5 5 3 18 13 +5 20
Gaddland 13 4 3 6 10 13 -3 15
West Gaddland 13 2 1 10 5 22 -17 7
Pablitopia 13 1 2 10 4 27 -23 5
Aerigia 13 0 4 9 0 17 -17 4
[/code:1:beffadf074]

Matchday Fourteen Preview

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/oglethorpia.jpg VS http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/spaam.jpg

Spaam will be looking to break their record of 8 unbeaten games, and gain their revenge on a team that they have never beaten when they visit
Oglethorpia tomorrow night. However, the odds are against them, as they will be without their top 5 players, who are all suffering a one match ban:
Meren Lûin, Nala Eromleb, and the Súrion triplets, Elen, Finrod, and Alátari. The only thing that are on the Spaamanian side, is that the only loss they
have suffered this qualifying season, is their clash against Oglethorpia back in round 5. Only one thing is certain in this match, and that is it will
be the match of the year.

Spaam's Qualifying Run So Far

[code:1:beffadf074]W: Spaam 2 Kaze Progressa 1
W: Praying2God 1 Spaam 2
W: Spaam 1 Gaddland 0
D: Aerigia 0 Spaam 0
L: Spaam 0 Oglethorpia 1
W: West Gaddland 0 Spaam 4
D: Spaam 1 Alex The Tall 1
W: Spaam 4 Runaway Moose 2
W: Pablitopia 0 Spaam 5
D: Kaze Progressa 1 Spaam 1
W: Spaam 3 Praying2God 0
W: Gaddland 0 Spaam 1
W: Spaam 2 Aerigia 0
[/code:1:beffadf074]

[code:1:beffadf074]No Name P G Avge
[2] Meren Lûin 13 12 0.92
[1] Nala Eromleb 10 7 0.70
[6] Eman Olisade 9 4 0.44
[7] Maddi Elrik 11 2 0.18
[12] Zarí Karskí 7 1 0.14
[4] Elen Súrion 13 1 0.08
[/code:1:beffadf074]

[code:1:beffadf074]No Name P G Avge
[3] Alátari Súrion 13 7 0.54
[/code:1:beffadf074]

Liverpool England

06-04-2004, 06:48

The World Cup Update - 5 Games to Go
Day 14 - Intelligent Madness [H]

An easy task. Should be easy to win, but given the team's recent form might prove a challenge. Prediction: Win by 2 goals

Day 15 - East Spaam [H]

A match which may inevitably decide third place and the final qualifying spot. The team won the first match away, and should be able to come away with the three points. Prediction: Win by 1 goal

Day 16 - Zephyrs [A]

Unknown team, except that they have already been eliminated. Prediction: Win by at least three goals

Day 17 - Europa Brittania [H]

The toughest test. First match lost 1-0 away, pretty respectable, but team will be without Mark Hearne Jr, suspended due to his red card against Eauz. Prediction: Win by 1 goal

Day 18 - The Redavic Union [A]

First match won 3-1 at home. Might be tough test. Prediction: Draw

Final Prediction: 13 points from 15
Final Points Tally Prediction: 27+13 = 40 out of 18*3 = 54
Final Prediction: Qualify in second.

The Lowland Clans

06-04-2004, 09:42

ASNN - We're baaaaaaaaaaack...

Graham City, Scotland - That's the tenative shout from the players in this years qualifying team as the United prepare to face The Belmore Family in the beginning of what rabid football fans have begun to call the Gauntlet. The three games which football fans looked forward to as the Clan supremacy on top of this cup was still fresh in the minds of those fans. Unfortunately, the Clanners stumbled, losing two of the gauntlet games.

This time around, The United are looking to take the Gauntlet teams to the test. With the sound thrashing of the n00bs, the confidence of the Clan squads is once again upto what a 6th ranked nation should be. With the toughest match against group leader Snub Nose 38, the competition will be stiff. But as many of the team members have sounded in, this time around should be much different than the first time.

"It'll be tough against the Belmores, but I believe we can do it. Our squads this year took it hard when we lost to them the first time, but we're looking for fast goals this time around, to squash their morale and keeps ours high." Captain Jeremy echoed that sentiment, saying that it would be key in the game against the Hooligans.

"They were down last year, but look at them now, one of five undefeated teams in the qualifiers left. If we want to win we'll have to score fast and furious against them to keep ourselves in it."

PREVIEW: The Lowland Clan United vs The Belmore Family

This game is the opening match of the Gauntlet. Viewed as one of the easiest, it will still be a hard task for the United to beat the Belmores. With the experience of being down under their belt, the United plan to use their quick, physical play to beat the Belmores fast.

SCORE: TLC UNITED 2 - 1 THE BELMORE FAMILY

(A)TLC Clanners vs. Vilita (W 4-0)
(H)TLC United vs. Dance 2 Revolution (L 0-1)
(A)TLC Clanners vs. Lovisa (W 1-0)
(H)TLC United vs. Compound Interest (W 3-0)
(H)TLC United vs. Aserjin (W 3-0)
(A)TLC United vs. The Belmore Family (L 0-2)
(H)TLC Clanners vs. Snub Nose 38 (L 1-2)
(A)TLC United vs. Warnocks Wizards (L 0-1)
(H)TLC Clanners vs. Lovebug
(H)TLC Clanners vs. Vilita (W 2-0)
(A)TLC United vs. Dance 2 Revolution (L 0-1)
(H)TLC Clanners vs. Lovisa (W 2-0)
(A)TLC United vs. Compound Interest (W 3-0)
(H)TLC Clanners vs. Aserjin (W 3-0)
(H)TLC United vs. The Belmore Family
(A)TLC Clanners vs. Snub Nose 38
(H)TLC United vs. Warnocks Wizards
(A)TLC Clanners vs. Lovebug

Eauz

06-04-2004, 11:54

Le LIBRE

Match everyone will be talking about

In a match, expected to side in favour of Europa Brittania, things proved to be different. Les Bleus travelled to Europa Brittania to face off against the toughest match of the qualifying round, playing with the pressure of a slump and away from home.

Showing not quite the same Eauz teams as the first half of qualifying, Les Bleus had to prove to themselves, as well as to their fans, that this year, they were for real. Coming into the match, Les Bleus were trying to get out of the slump, posting a 2 – 1 – 1 record (W/T/L), resulting in 7 points of a possible 12.

As for the match, Les Bleus practiced a little earlier on a new form possibly for a change. Once the match was go, Les Bleus new they had a lot of pressure on there hands. The first half of the match brought about strong performance on both sides. Europa Brittania, playing at home had the better chance of taking this match, as their fans throughout the match were there for them. The 18th minute of play brought about a strong surge from Les Bleus, placing the ball in the back of the net. The score would rest at 1 – 0, up to the end of the first half. Les Bleus knew that a 1 – 0 lead was not to be trusted, especially against Europea Brittania.

With the arrival of the second half, Les Bleus would see their second goal of the match, unexpected by everyone, during the 50th minute of play. Les Bleus were up against the strongest team 2 – 0 early. The fans were quieted down a bit, as they were shocked by the poor performance of their home team. Les Bleus though, new this score should not be trusted. As the match wound down, Europa Brittania would see a revival of their team, scoring at the 85th minute of play against Yeuseuv. With the fans back in the match, Europa Brittania would see a final attack during the 90th (+1:30), only to be spotted by Yeuseuv. Les Bleus shocked Europa Brittania and their fans in a 2 – 1 win.

Les Bleus proved tonight to many fans and they, that they are capable of playing well, and were just in a little slump. With the win, Les Bleus are on top of group 8 with 34 points, and the easy section of their schedule to come. Les Bleus will also look for help from Liverpool England to win, with an upcoming match between Liverpool and Europa Brittania. If LE wins, it could mean a first place win for Les Bleus.

Round 1: Tadjikistan @ Eauz W 0 - 4
Round 2: Eauz @ Intelligent Madness W 4 - 0
Round 3: Liverpool England @ Eauz W 1 - 2
Round 4: Eauz @ Zephyrs W 2 - 0
Round 5: Europa Brittania @ Eauz L 1 - 0
Round 6: Eauz @ The Redavic Union W 2 - 0
Round 7: Just an egg @ Eauz W 0 - 1
Round 8: Eauz @ Gormith W 4 - 0
Round 9: East Spaam @ Eauz W 0 - 1
Round 10: Eauz @ Tadjikistan T 0 - 0
Round 11: Intelligent Madness @ Eauz W 0 - 4
Round 12: Eauz @ Liverpool England L 0 - 1
Round 13: Zephyrs @ Eauz W 0 - 2
Round 14: Eauz @ Europa Brittania W 2 - 1
Round 15: The Redavic Union @ Eauz
Round 16: Eauz @ Just an Egg
Round 17: Gormith @ Eauz
Round 18: East Spaam @ Eauz

[code:1:f1a9c14812]
Group 8
Pts W D L GF:GA GD PP
1. Eauz 34 11 1 2 28: 4 24 46
2. Europa Brittania 33 11 0 3 26: 7 19 45
3. Liverpool England 30 9 3 2 24: 8 16 42
4. East Spaam 25 8 1 5 24:12 12 37
5. Gormith 20 5 5 4 14:14 0 32
6. The Redavic Union 19 6 1 7 14:20 -6 31
7. Tadjikistan 17 4 5 5 12:18 -6 29 ELIM
8. Just an egg 7 1 4 9 4:21 -17 19 ELIM
9. Intelligent Madness 7 1 4 9 6:28 -22 19 ELIM
10.Zephyrs 4 0 4 10 5:25 -20 16 ELIM
[/code:1:f1a9c14812]

Eauz

06-04-2004, 12:06

[code:1:f8208d4184]
Group 8
Pts W D L GF:GA GD PP
1. Eauz 34 11 1 2 28: 4 24 46
2. Europa Brittania 33 11 0 3 26: 7 19 45
3. Liverpool England 30 9 3 2 24: 8 16 42
4. East Spaam 25 8 1 5 24:12 12 37
5. Gormith 20 5 5 4 14:14 0 32
6. The Redavic Union 19 6 1 7 14:20 -6 31
7. Tadjikistan 17 4 5 5 12:18 -6 29 ELIM
8. Just an egg 7 1 4 9 4:21 -17 19 ELIM
9. Intelligent Madness 7 1 4 9 6:28 -22 19 ELIM
10.Zephyrs 4 0 4 10 5:25 -20 16 ELIM
[/code:1:f8208d4184]

With only 4 matches remaining, one less team in in the race, as Tadjikistan, was eliminated from qualifying. The best they can possibly do is come in 4th place. Les Bleus could play spoiler, as their next oppenent is The Redavic Union, who is just holding on with a possible points rank of 31 still there. With a win for Les Bleus, all hopes will be destroyed for The Redavic Union. Playing at home, look for Les Bleus to do well, but also look for a close match.

Stats after 14 match days for Group 8:

Most Goals For: Eauz (28 )
Least Goals For: Just an Egg (4)
Most Goals against: Intelligent Madness (28 )
Least Goals against: Eauz (4)
Most Wins: Europa Brittania, Eauz (11)
Least Wins: Zephyrs (0)
Most Losses: Zephyrs (10)
Least Losses: Eauz, Liverpool England (2)
Highest Goal Difference: Eauz (+24)
Lowest Goal Difference: Intelligent Madness (-22)

Predictions for Les Bleus:

Final Points Tally Prediction: 46
Final Prediction: Qualify in First place

*information about the next match to come later...

The Belmore Family

06-04-2004, 12:35

http://www.abelmore.com/TDB.JPG

Assassin apprehended
St.Alan Belmore's assassin found in Parliment Building with a gun

St. Alan Belmore's assassin was caught yesterday trying to enter Parliment Building during PM's Questions. Carrying a pistol, he was evidently going for another target. When Arrested, he was sneeking through a back enterance and heading towards the BBC Cameraman box. He has been taken into custordy and is now being questioned. He is refusing to give either his name or nationality to police. We urge anyone with information to contact the police on: 01489 663229.

OOC: Anyone want to claim him?

Brazillico

06-04-2004, 13:43

GROUP 2 REVIEW
[code:1:695c378e14]Group 2
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Halfassedstates 34 11 1 2 30: 8 22
2. Nikea 32 10 2 2 27: 8 19
3. Total n Utter Insanity 31 10 1 3 20: 7 13
4. Aquilla 30 9 3 2 23: 5 18
5. Brazillico 27 9 0 5 18:12 6
6. Indigo Islands 12 4 0 10 11:20 -9 E
7. Steves Island 11 3 2 9 6:25 -19 E
8. Pablicosta 10 2 4 8 10:22 -12 E
9. Hawcoat 8 2 2 10 4:19 -15 E
10.Largent 6 1 3 10 7:30 -23 E[/code:1:695c378e14]

Remaining Schedules
Halfassedstates
@ Largent
Vs. Pablicosta
@ TnUI
Vs. Indigo Islands
A damn easy schedule, not that it matters, since Halfassedstates have steamrolled over everything in their path the last little bit.

Nikea
@ Steve’s Island
Vs. Brazillico
@ Largent
Vs. Pablicosta
Another damn easy schedule, Nikea’s future lies in their own hands. Barring a slip up against one of the lesser ranked teams, Nikea should have a place in the World Cup.

TnUI
Vs. Aquilla
@ Indigo Islands
Vs. Halfassedstates
@ Hawcoat
Some difficult matches lie ahead for TnUI against Aquilla and Halfassedstates. Fortunately for the Insanicians, both those matches will be at home.

Aquilla
@ TnUI
Vs. Steve’s Island
@ Indigo Islands
Vs. Brazillico
Aquilla’s big match will be their encounter in TnUI. A victory there, and they’ll pretty much stamp their ticket to Rejistania/Cockbill Street.

Brazillico
Vs. Hawcoat
@ Nikea
Vs. Steve’s Island
@ Aquilla
Brazillico have to pretty much run the table to give themselves any chance of going through. Since that’s not bloody likely, considering they have upcoming road matches against Nikea and Aquilla, stick a fork in them, ‘cause they’re done.

Predicted Final Group 2 Standings
1. Halfassedstates
2. Nikea
3. Total n Utter Insanity
4. Aquilla
5. Brazillico
Positions six through ten are quite hazy, partly because their lack of success has not brought much attention to their sides, but also because no one really gives a shit. We will make a cavalier prediction and say Largent walks away with the Wooden Spoon.

The Weegies

06-04-2004, 14:09

The Weegies

06-04-2004, 14:41

We're So Screwed.
Deciders against One Red Dot, Timway and Giant Zucchini lead to mass sorrow-related drinking binges.

Fatalism has sunk into every single Weegie fan. Their qualifying campaign has hit one of its most massive hurdles - playing the three biggest teams in the group. With only a 3-point cushion seperating them from 3rd place Sliponia, and One Red Dot snapping at their heals and probably wanting retribution for their 1-0 defeat at the hands of The Weegies, most footballing prospects are looking grim.

Snub Nose 38

06-04-2004, 14:43

...and for the first time in their history the Hooligans are the first side to qualify for a World Cup Tournament. And they followed that up with another win today!

Therefore, as The Guy Currently In Charge Of Stuff For The Frost-Free Borderlands Of Snub Nose 38, I hereby declare today, "National Hooligan" Day, to be a national holiday. All non-essential government offices will be closed. All non-essential private entrerprises will be closed. Those declared essential will receive "double time, and a half" as holiday pay.

Further, I declare that the National Treasury is an essential government ministry, which will remain open today. The Treasury will station representative on every street corner in every city, town, and village throughout the land, handing out Vodka Gimlets to everyone.

There will be fireworks in all major cities tonight after dark. Local city, town, and village governments are encouraged to hold parades, dances, concerts, picnics, fairs, festivals, feasts, and other forms of folderol.

GO YOU HOOLIGANS, GO!!!

The Weegies

06-04-2004, 14:54

Therefore, as The Guy Currently In Charge Of Stuff For The Frost-Free Borderlands Of Snub Nose 38,

OOC: Now there's a title to be proud of.

Compound interest

06-04-2004, 15:08

OOC: I wanted to make taht already yesterday, silly powercuts!

543685 'Buy Utopia' looks at the charts of quaotations. He is daytraders, that is his work. For some reason, the CIFA shares are flucturating extremly today, the volatility doubled. He looked at a schedule in the internet: The match was against Snub Nose 38 - in Snub Nose 38. Not that he knew anything about soccer, but the opponent didn't sound good. His intuition said 'buy' and so he bought CIFA shares at 7.80 CIC (compound interestian credits). He knew that it would be cruical to be informed first, but luckily, he owned a decoder for pay-radio. While listening to the match-report, he realised that it doesn't look good. in the 3rd minute, the 'hooligans' took the lead. He wanted to sell, but in that moment, fire-alarm broke out. His compuer shut down automatically. he ran out of the building, among all other brokers, traders or workers. When he was on the street, he knew that CIFA shares have fallen and will fall. He needed to sell, he needed to sell desperately and he needed to sell now! Internet, if he could get into the internet, he would be able to lower his loss by selling the shares. He ran to the nearest internet-cafe only to see it crowded with other daytraders with exactly the same problem. He ran, got lost, found his position again and ran further in desperate need to connect and to sell. After more than an hour of desperate searching, he found that he ran in one big circle. He already heard that the Nationals lost 0-3 and expected the worst. The fire-alarm was only caused by a desperate broker, who tried to improve his balance by worsen the ones of all others. He ran to his computer, logged in, re-logged in because he typoed, opened his application and shuddered. The CIFA stocks were at 15.90 CIC. He checked the newsflow. Only minutes after the match, a deal between he CIFA and the biggest pay-TV station concerning domestic league matches became known.

Tadjikistan

06-04-2004, 15:11

Strong Tadjikistan is eliminated

Tadjikistan had to win and hope for others to lose if it wanted to stay in the run for a WC-ticket. Tadjikistan did its part of the deal but the other teams did not help.
Tadjikistan played well in Zephyrs, from the first minute the Tadjiks put pressure on the defense and stormed the Zephyrs goal. In the 21th minute Belanov passed to Cherniakhovskij, Cherniakhovskij then beat the Zephyrs keeper and scored. Tadjikistan was no longer the debutant from the first round, and the proof was again given in Zephyrs. Zephyrs could never threaten the Tadjik goalkeeper who remained in his goal unemployed. The attackers on the other hand kept doing what Isserson told them to do, score. A second goal was made in the 52th minute, during the second half,scored by Christyakov. With 2-0 Tadjikistan had already won the match but they kept coming and made a third goal in the 78th minute, this time it was Zhukov who came into a duel with a Zephyrs defender in the 88th minute and got injured. Zhukov was carried of the field for treament, Tadjikistan played the last minutes with 10. Not that it would make a difference, the match was played and Tadjikistan had won.

The bad news came later, after the match when they wer told Gormith to had won its match, Tadjikistan needs 13 points to keep up with Liverpool England. Even if Tadjikistan wins every match and the others lose them the Tadjiks will still be one point behind theteam in the third place. So Tadjikistan is now officialy eliminated.

Coach Isserson told the press that Tadjikistan would keep on playing as good as they could and get as much points as they could to save the Tadjik honour(wich we believe is already saved).

Audioslavia

06-04-2004, 15:23

Fahigland hold 'slaves

The Audioslavian national team went to Fahigland's 'Lahambert and Buhutler' stadium in the Fahigland capital of Maharlboro to play a side they'd already swept aside 4-0 recently. The 'slaves expected to do it again.

What they werent expecting was a partizan crowd, a pitch that looked like it had recently held a mud-wrestling world-cup, and a team which looked surprisingly hungry for a group of people with nothing to play for but pride.

Fahigland took the initiative from the off, making themselves the second reason behind the fact that Audioslavia couldnt play football, the first reason being the awful conditions.

The Fahigs were obviously more accustomed to pitch, showing great audacity and control with long balls and chipped passes so as not to bring the pitch into the game.

The side had the first real opportunity when the number ten experlty controlled a chip, flicked the ball into the air and, from the corner of the penality area, lashed a shot past a stranded Robert Jones. The ball swerved past him at great speed but ricocheted of the post. The Fahigland number seven picked the ball up and tried to chip it back into the box, but slipped on the muddy ground and only succeeded in slicing the ball into the crowd.

Half-time came with the 'slaves still not able to make any real head-way into the game, and barring a Jonny Willow 40-yard hit-and-hope which was easy for the goalkeeper, they never really looked like scoring. Neither, it has to be said, did Fahigland, who's shots went as wayward as you'd expect from a team with just four goals in twelve games... compared to the 'slaves twenty seven strikes.

Full-time came and the Fahigland players were obviously the happier team, patting each other on the back and bowing towards their supporters. This was Fahigland's night, but Audioslavia can be confident that the point can bring them a little bit closer to an almost-inevitable next shot at the World Cup.

[code:1:dd0ace0c2f]
Group 10
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Audioslavia 34 11 1 2 27: 6 21
2. Bedistan 29 8 5 1 22: 5 17
3. Dennisov 29 9 2 3 21:11 10
4. Avenging Altos 26 8 2 4 27:14 13
5. Iansisle 21 6 3 5 13:12 1
6. NEWI Cefn Druids 21 6 3 5 15:15 0
7. Magnus Valerius 17 4 5 5 14:17 -3
[/code:1:dd0ace0c2f]

Lets look at each of the top seven's remaining matches:

Audioslavia - Points needed to certainly qualify: 5/12
HOME: Bedistan
AWAY: Iansisle
HOME: Dennisov
AWAY: Resistencia

Audioslavia have a tough test ahead of them in the form of Bedistan. Already having been defeated 3-1 by the Lions back in December, they'll be looking for a bit of revenge in the Cornellby Arena. The 'slaves road ahead is rocky at best, with the three most fancied teams, Bedistan, Iansisle and Dennisov, still to play. They'll probably have to rely on Avenging Altos (the only side that can keep them out of WC13) slipping up if they fail to get at least 2 points from these three games. The away match versus Resistencia isnt exactly a three-point bagger either, as the 'slaves proved with their 0-0 draw with Fahigland today.

Bedistan - Points needed to certainly qualify: 9/12
AWAY: Audioslavia
HOME: Free Radicals of Mu-Mu
AWAY: NEWI Cefn Druids
HOME: Fahigland

If Bedistan can pull off a result against the 'slaves you'd have to say they'd become favorites to top the group. Home matches against Mu-Mu and Fahigland should be easy, although a result away to an increasingly desperate NEWI Cefn Druids will be difficult.

Dennisov - Points needed to certainly qualify: 9/12
AWAY: Resistencia
HOME: Magnus Valerius
AWAY: Audioslavia
HOME: Free Radicals of Mu-Mu

Dennisov have impressed so far. Although they havent been spectacular, the Dennish side have ground out the results and deserve their third-placing. Their 4-2 loss to Avenging Altos however, didnt do them any good at all. The Altos are just three points behind them and Bedistan.
Bedistan and Dennisov need results in their last four games, because AA dont look like giving up just yet. Dennisov should be good to get nine points from Resistencia, Magnus Valerius and Mu-Mu, tho the away match with the 'slaves will require them to be on top of their game.

Avenging Altos - Points behind qualification spot: 3/12
AWAY: NEWI Cefn Druids
HOME: Resistencia
AWAY: Fahigland
HOME: Magnus Valerius

Just over half-way through the season, AA were fifth, six points off the pace and going absoloutely nowhere. Looking at another four years in the doldrums, with their backs to the wall and a hopeless cause to fight for, the singers went for it. First Iansisle fell 1-0, then Mu-Mu were beaten 2-1 on their own turf, and now the mighty Dennisov have falled prey to a 4-2 drubbing by the Altos. AA are on fire. If they can negotiate a tricky obstacle in the shape of an away trip to the NEWI Cefn Druids, the Altos have got to be a very good outside bet to take third place. Resistencia at home shouldnt cause any hassle, Fahigland are a an obstacle that should be able to be overcome, and the final match against Magnus Valerius should be an absoloute thriller, with AA wanting to avenge their 3-2 defeat and fight for a WC13 place. AA are the side to watch for the last games of the season.

Iansisle - Points behind qualification spot: 8/12
AWAY: Magnus Valerius
HOME: Audioslavia
AWAY: Free Radicals of Mu-Mu
HOME: NEWI Cefn Druids

Iansisle have so far been a dissapointment, again, in the qualifiers. Coming in expected to at least pose a threat, they lie fifth in the table, eight points behind the pace, and with some tricky matches ahead. As the Brazillico saying goes, 'stick a fork in them, theyre done'.

NEWI Cefn Druids - Points behind qualification spot: 8/12
HOME: Avenging Altos
AWAY: Fahigland
HOME: Bedistan
AWAY: Iansisle

NEWI Cefn Druids have so far failed to match the superb form which saw them top the group on day four. They too need eight points from only four games. If they cant beat AA at home they might as well pack their bags and go, because Bedistan and Iansisle will be immovable objects for these all-too-stoppable forces.

Magnus Valerius - Points behind qualification spot: 12/12
HOME: Iansisle
AWAY: Dennisov
HOME: Resistencia
AWAY: Avenging Altos

Do you believe in miracles? Magnus Valerius have been quite impressive, but they will have to competely out-do themselves and then some to qualify. Needing to win every single game by a hefty margin, MV might have an easier task if they were playing at home to Hash 'n Beans in each of their final matches, but unfortunately they have to play Iansisle, travel to Dennisov, and play away at a fired-up AA team in their final match. Feel free to put your worldy possesions on them to qualify, the guy at Ladbrokes likes to travel first-class.

Lovebug

06-04-2004, 15:24

LOVEBUG DAILY UPDATE PAGE

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/lovebug.jpg

The Group and Rankings

[code:1:83ab04116f]

Group 5
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Snub Nose 38 38 12 2 0 30: 4 26
2. Warnocks Wizards 30 9 3 2 14: 4 10
3. The Lowland Clans 27 9 0 5 25: 7 18
4. The Belmore Family 24 8 3 3 15: 7 8
5. Dance 2 Revolution 21 5 6 3 11: 8 3
6. Lovisa 18 5 3 6 9:13 -4
7. Lovebug 11 3 2 9 11:23 -12 Eliminated
8. Aserjin 11 2 5 7 4:17 -13 Eliminated
9. Vilita 8 2 2 10 4:20 -16 Eliminated
10.Compound Interest 5 1 2 11 5:25 -20 Eliminated
[/code:1:83ab04116f]

TODAY'S MATCHUP - FEATURES LOVEBUG & DANCE 2 REVOLUTION

A MESSAGE FROM THE LNSNN - Apau Ka inoa O aloha, ho'okahi wa hou Ka inoa O aloha! Welcome, we're here at Lovebug's national stadium at Lovebug's National Stadium http://www.worldstadiums.com/stadium_pictures/europe/germany/bayern/munich_olimpia.jpg

I’m Keonimakaio http://espn.starwave.com/i/talent/madden/head.jpg and I’m Kanielapakelika http://espnradio.espn.go.com/i/columnists/patrick_dan_c.jpg and we are back here again and at the scene of what was to be the last shot for the Lovebug team at a chance to qualify this season. (Kanielapakelika) It started out so well, the team seemed to be in raised spirits, inspired by the challenge of trying to stay in facing an opponent that we lost severely to (3-0) in a previous matchup. (Keonimakaio) I agree the team seemed well prepared for the match-up, they started out strong scoring the first goal of the game after 5 minutes. The game continued on scoreless until the second half when Dance 2 Revolution tied it up on a trick play to make the score 1-1. (Kanielapakelika) Lovebug was quick to get back on the offense making their way down the field, but one of their defenders captured the ball and took it all the way back down the field to score - the Revolution led 2-1. (Keonimakaio) There was five minutes left on the clock the Bulldog's seemed like mad men as they headed down the field... SCORE.... Lovebug ties it up 2-2, now all that they had to do was stop the Revolution from scoring, and try to score one more time. (Kanielapakelika) The Coach yelled out on the field WHATEVER YOU DO - DON'T FOUL! The Lovebug team was momentarily distracted, allowing a Revolution player to slip past, the Bulldog's attempted to catch up but it was to late the Revolution had scored again and now led 3-2. This was to be the final score of the game as Lovebug made on last attempt at the goal before the buzzer sounded, it was a strong kick to the left, oh no it missed the hole by less than an inch. (Keonimakaio) What a crushing defeat for the Bulldog's. They have no chance now of making it to the finals. I spoke with the coach after the game and got his statement "It's been a tough season, we came in not knowing what type of teams we would be facing considering that it's our first WC tournie, we've played the best possible matches that we could and we are going to continue despite the fact that we won't be advancing, hopefully we will gain from these experiences and be able to come back stronger in the next competition." Well I suppose that's all for now for myself and Kanielapakelika this has been LNSNN news broadcast.

TOMMOROW'S MATCHUP - FEATURES LOVEBUG & DANCE 2 REVOLUTION

[code:1:83ab04116f]
Yesterday’s Predictions - 4/5 outcomes correct, 0/5 scores correct

TBF will win against Vilita (3-0) - TBF won 2-0 against Vilita
Dance 2 Revolution will win against Lovebug (2-0) - Revolution won 3-2 against Lovebug
Wizards will draw with Lovisa (1-1) - Wizards won against Lovisa 1-0
Snub Nose will win over CI (4-0) - Snub Nose won 3-0 against CI
The Lowland Clans will win over Aserjin (2-0) - The Clans won 3-0 against Aserjin

THE PSYCHIC IS OUT FOR BREAKFAST - PREDICTIONS WILL BE POSTED LATER TODAY.
[/code:1:83ab04116f]

Eliminated Teams - Alpha Commune, Melmond, BSE Free Bovines, Raptor Claw, Skipdonia, Indigo Islands, Steves Island, Pablicosta, Hawcoat, Largent, Zinkoland, Anahit, Wella, Hazatak, Formula One Racing, Fortuna Prospera, Mordecei, Gleam Street, Lovebug, Aserjin, Vilita, Compound Interest, NASTIC 2, The Alan Belmore Army, Lennon Marx, Crystilakere, Jagiellonia, The Republican Army, Jaegermeistria, Haraki, New Cyprus, Tadjikistan, Just an egg, Intelligent Madness, Zephyrs, West Gaddland, Pablitopia, Aerigia, Fahigland, Free Radicals of Mu-Mu, Resistencia

Bedistan

06-04-2004, 15:54

1 + 1 = 2.
2 + 1 = 3.
3 + 1 = 4.

Believe me, I knew this before. I did. No, really. :oops:

Audioslavia

06-04-2004, 16:07

Bedistan - Points needed to certainly qualify: 9/12

7/12.

Dennisov - Points needed to certainly qualify: 9/12

7/12.

Fair enough, you go ahead and get seven points from your next four games, but dont come crying to me when Avenging Altos finish two points ahead of you and youre back where you belong in the CoH ;)

The Weegies

06-04-2004, 16:18

OOC: Now, now children. Let's settle this in gentlemanly fashion by kicking the crap out of each other on a fictional pitch.

Audioslavia

06-04-2004, 16:25

OOC: Now, now children. Let's settle this in gentlemanly fashion by kicking the crap out of each other on a fictional pitch.

the way it should be done! and the way it will be done when we get the scores 2mora ;)

bring it on Loins ;)

yes that typo was intentional :p

The Weegies

06-04-2004, 16:45

OOC: Oh, I'm watching this. *grabs popcorn*

Is it pay-per-view?

NEWI Cefn Druids

06-04-2004, 16:48

The Daily Druid

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!
DRUIDS DON'T FINISH BOTTOM!
Wayne Ottgunn-Irwin reports on NEWI Cefn Druids 2 Free Radicals of Mu-Mu 0

Celebrations were under way in towns and cities across NEWI Cefn Druids last night when it was at last made mathematically impossible for them to finish bottom of their qualifying group for the first time in three attempts.

Goals from Simon Greaves and Trevor Leyghton secured their place in the top seven of the group, preventing a third successive Druid humiliation. Resistencia's loss to Iansisle was, in the end, irrelevant to this cause, though it keeps the Ians above the Druids in the table.

While it is still mathematically possible for the Druids to actually go on and qualify from the group outright, manager Tim Welsh isn't setting the team's sights too high. He told us after the match, "This is progress from where we have been in the past. I know some people have been quoting odds on us qualifying, despite them being very long indeed, but we're happy that we'll be finishing above eighth place for a change!"

Just as proof of the Druids' success, here is how the bottom half of Group 10 looks:

[code:1:dfb91a9423]
Group 10
Pld W D L GF GA Pts GD PP

6. NEWI Cefn Druids 14 6 3 5 15 15 21 0 33
7. Magnus Valerius 14 4 5 5 14 17 17 -3 29
8. Fahigland 14 2 2 10 4 27 8 -23 20
9. Free Radicals of Mu-Mu 14 1 3 10 6 21 6 -15 18
10.Resistencia 14 1 2 11 4 25 5 -21 17
[/code:1:dfb91a9423]

Yes, that is a six next to where it says NEWI Cefn Druids. It's OK, you don't need any medical advice at all. Just out of interest, Cefnbet are currently offering odds of 25/1 on the Druids closing the 8 point gap between themselves and third place, but we'll not have talk of that in this publication. Especially when we're happy with what we've got already!

Giant Zucchini

06-04-2004, 16:56

NEWSFLASH:

Timway 1 Giant Zucchini 2, Plaat Concedes Zucchinis' 3rd, Phoot Saves Game...Again

The usual blurb...

Audioslavia

06-04-2004, 17:52

OOC: Oh, I'm watching this. *grabs popcorn*

Is it pay-per-view?

well if Beddy agrees, we might just turn this match into a huoge RP...

edit: or not, i dont think i'll be online 2mora :/ you know, work, alcohol etc :/

you win this time wee bull...

Bedistan

06-04-2004, 18:30

OOC: Oh, I'm watching this. *grabs popcorn*

Is it pay-per-view?

well if Beddy agrees, we might just turn this match into a huoge RP...

Or on the other hand, I might just learn how to count again. :P Four matches left, not three... *grumbles*

Audioslavia

06-04-2004, 18:34

Bedistan

06-04-2004, 21:31

you mean i was right about a maths thing? :shock:

And I wasn't...so much for that 73 on the math section of the PSAT, eh? :P

IC:

BSTV Sports Today
with Amanda Butt and Chuck Mitchell

Amanda: ...and our final story tonight is World Cup qualifying. In a complete reversal of fortune from last time, the Snub Nose 38 Hooligans have become the first team to qualify, and they are one of a number of undefeated teams that can be counted on one hand.

Chuck: You still use your hands to count?

Amanda: Shut up, Chuck. I'm not in the mood.

Chuck: All right, looks like someone forgot to take their pills this morning...anyway, the Lions successfully defeated Magnus Valerius by a score of 2-0. Combined with Avenging Altos' 4-2 upset of Dennisov, Bedistan slides into second place past Dennisov on goal difference. This is good, but the Altos remain just three points behind, so we cannot slip up.

Amanda: Valerius still isn't quite out technically, but effectively they are. Iansisle and the Druids might be able to catch up, but don't count on it. It's gonna be a fight between the Lions, the Altos, and Dennisov for the final two qualifying slots. Unfortunately, we play Audioslavia next, so we'll have to hope Dennisov and Avenging Altos don't do particularly well.

Chuck: Well, that's all the time we have for today. Chuck Mitchell and Amanda Butt signing off.

-------------

Final score:
Bedistan 2 (goals not yet assigned because I'm lazy :P)
Magnus Valerius 0

Total n Utter Insanity

07-04-2004, 00:08

This is the News.

IC Writers still on strike.

OOC Scab crosses picket line.

TBF regain most annoying tosser of the World Cup back from CH.

*bang*

"Fuck!"

OC Sacb shoot in ram.

Snub Nose 38

07-04-2004, 00:44

Ministry of Statistics, Other Totally Useless Information, and Band Aids Press Release

The Minister is pleased to present the following chart of standings following completion of all matchday 14 qualifying matches. “Max” indicates the maximum number of points a side could achieve if they win all four of their remaining matches. “Q/elim” indicates sides that have qualified (“Q”) and sides that have unfortunately been mathematically eliminated (“elim”).

You didn’t think we’d go through an entire set of qualifying matches for a world cup without an annoying set of statistics and useless information being presented by the Minster of Statistics, Other Totally Useless Information, and Band Aids, did you?

[code:1:7b4db22b76]
Group 1
Pts W D L GF:GA GD Max Q/elim
1. Ravenspire 33 11 0 3 25: 9 16 45
2. Tanah Burung 32 10 2 2 26: 6 20 44
3. Svecia 30 9 3 2 19: 5 14 42
4. Kingsford 24 7 3 4 14: 8 6 36
5. Stalag 5 23 6 5 3 15:13 2 35
6. Melmond 17 5 2 7 13:21 –8 29 elim
7. BSE Free Bovines 11 2 5 7 11:18 –7 23 elim
8. Raptor Claw 10 2 4 8 7:19 –12 22 elim
9. Skipdonia 9 3 0 11 5:18 –13 21 elim
10.Alpha Commune 7 1 4 9 3:21 –18 19 elim

Group 2
Pts W D L GF:GA GD Max Q/elim
1. Halfassedstates 34 11 1 2 30: 8 22 46
2. Nikea 32 10 2 2 27: 8 19 44
3. Total n Utter Insanity 31 10 1 3 20: 7 13 43
4. Aquilla 30 9 3 2 23: 5 18 42
5. Brazillico 27 9 0 5 18:12 6 39
6. Indigo Islands 12 4 0 10 11:20 –9 24 elim
7. Steves Island 11 3 2 9 6:25 –19 23 elim
8. Pablicosta 10 2 4 8 10:22 –12 22 elim
9. Hawcoat 8 2 2 10 4:19 –15 20 elim
10.Largent 6 1 3 10 7:30 –23 18 elim

Group 3
Pts W D L GF:GA GD Max Q/elim
1. Oddslavo 34 11 1 2 34: 7 27 46 Q
2. Belmorian Scandinavia 29 8 5 1 27: 8 19 41
3. Kerla 29 8 5 1 24:11 13 41
4. Murphdawggia 20 5 5 4 12:15 –3 32
5. EL CID THE HERO 18 4 6 4 19:16 3 30
6. Eaglet 18 4 6 4 17:15 2 30
7. Zinkoland 14 4 2 8 12:19 –7 26 elim
8. Anahit 13 3 4 7 7:22 –15 25 elim
9. Wella 8 1 5 8 7:26 –19 20 elim
10.Hazatak 5 0 5 9 5:25 –20 17 elim

Group 4
Pts W D L GF:GA GD Max Q/elim
1. Gesamtkuntswerk 36 11 3 0 21: 3 18 48
2. The Eagles Nest 30 9 3 2 20: 6 14 42
3. Commerce Heights 28 8 4 2 20: 6 14 40
4. Mattigool 26 8 2 4 17:11 6 38
5. Anti-Nazis 23 6 5 3 19:10 9 35
6. Vozvyshennost 21 6 3 5 16:10 6 33
7. Formula One Racing 11 3 2 9 5:16 –11 23 elim
8. Fortuna Prospera 11 3 2 9 6:20 –14 23 elim
9. Mordecei 4 0 4 10 4:25 –21 16 elim
10.Gleam Street 4 0 4 10 2:23 –21 16 elim

Group 5
Pts W D L GF:GA GD Max Q/elim
1. Snub Nose 38 38 12 2 0 30: 4 26 50 Q
2. Warnocks Wizards 30 9 3 2 14: 4 10 42
3. The Lowland Clans 27 9 0 5 25: 7 18 39
4. The Belmore Family 24 8 3 3 15: 7 8 36
5. Dance 2 Revolution 21 5 6 3 11: 8 3 33
6. Lovisa 18 5 3 6 9:13 –4 30
7. Lovebug 11 3 2 9 11:23 –12 23 elim
8. Aserjin 11 2 5 7 4:17 –13 23 elim
9. Vilita 8 2 2 10 4:20 –16 20 elim
10.Compound Interest 5 1 2 11 5:25 –20 17 elim
The Belmore Family was deducted 3 points

Group 6
Pts W D L GF:GA GD Max Q/elim
1. Giant Zucchini 38 12 2 0 27: 3 24 50
2. The Weegies 33 11 0 3 25: 8 17 45
3. Sliponia 30 9 3 2 21: 9 12 42
4. One Red Dot 26 8 2 4 20: 8 12 38
5. Timway 23 7 2 5 23:11 12 35
6. NASTIC 2 17 4 5 5 9: 9 0 29 elim
7. The Alan Belmore Army 11 3 2 9 8:24 –16 23 elim
8. Lennon Marx 10 2 4 8 7:18 –11 22 elim
9. Crystilakere 5 1 2 11 4:26 –22 17 elim
10.Jagiellonia 4 0 4 10 4:32 –28 16 elim

Group 7
Pts W D L GF:GA GD Max Q/elim
1. Squornshelous 36 11 3 0 24: 5 19 48
2. Antaeus Rising 31 9 4 1 23: 5 18 43
3. Lemmitania 28 8 4 2 20: 7 13 40
4. Jeruselem 27 8 3 3 24:15 9 39
5. Creedence Clearwater 26 8 2 4 22:13 9 38
6. Grand master Mark 19 6 1 7 17:14 3 31
7. The Republican Army 15 5 0 9 11:21 –10 27 elim
8. Jaegermeistria 8 1 5 8 6:19 –13 20 elim
9. Haraki 6 1 3 10 4:28 –24 18 elim
10.New Cyprus 1 0 1 13 5:29 –24 13 elim

Group 8
Pts W D L GF:GA GD Max Q/elim
1. Eauz 34 11 1 2 28: 4 24 46
2. Europa Brittania 33 11 0 3 26: 7 19 45
3. Liverpool England 30 9 3 2 24: 8 16 42
4. East Spaam 25 8 1 5 24:12 12 37
5. Gormith 20 5 5 4 14:14 0 32
6. The Redavic Union 19 6 1 7 14:20 –6 31
7. Tadjikistan 17 4 5 5 12:18 –6 29 elim
8. Just an egg 7 1 4 9 4:21 –17 19 elim
9. Intelligent Madness 7 1 4 9 6:28 –22 19 elim
10.Zephyrs 4 0 4 10 5:25 –20 16 elim

Group 9
Pts W D L GF:GA GD Max Q/elim
1. Oglethorpia 31 9 4 1 19: 5 14 43
2. Spaam 30 9 3 2 27:10 17 42
3. Runaway Moose 28 9 1 4 25:13 12 40
4. Alex The Tall 26 7 5 2 21:11 10 38
5. Kaze Progressa 23 6 5 3 20:14 6 35
6. Praying2God 22 6 4 4 18:13 5 34
7. Gaddland 18 5 3 6 12:13 –1 30
8. West Gaddland 7 2 1 11 5:24 –19 19 elim
9. Pablitopia 5 1 2 11 4:29 –25 17 elim
10.Aerigia 4 0 4 10 1:20 –19 16 elim

Group 10
Pts W D L GF:GA GD Max Q/elim
1. Audioslavia 34 11 1 2 27: 6 21 46
2. Bedistan 29 8 5 1 22: 5 17 41
3. Dennisov 29 9 2 3 21:11 10 41
4. Avenging Altos 26 8 2 4 27:14 13 38
5. Iansisle 21 6 3 5 13:12 1 33
6. NEWI Cefn Druids 21 6 3 5 15:15 0 33
7. Magnus Valerius 17 4 5 5 14:17 –3 29
8. Fahigland 8 2 2 10 4:27 –23 20 elim
9. Free Radicals of Mu-Mu 6 1 3 10 6:21 –15 18 elim
10.Resistencia 5 1 2 11 4:25 –21 17 elim
[/code:1:7b4db22b76]
At this point in qualifying for World Cup XIII, 14 matches gone and 4 to go:
41 sides have been eliminated
2 sides have qualified

Svecia

07-04-2004, 00:49

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

LATE STRIKE SAVES LIGHTNING
Viernes hero against tough Tanah Burung side
Tirsdag, 6 April, 2004

VILÄMNA, Sveica - The quietest player on the field turned into the biggest hero last night at the Rijksstadion. Etars Viernes, probably the most overlooked players on the Svecian side turned a potential disaster into a 1-1 draw.

Despite playing at home for the first time in three games, the Lightning looked a little frazzled coming into the match, giving up three shots on goal in the first 10 minutes.

But Viernes was the spark they needed against the former first place holders in Group 1. After Tanah Burung opened the scoring in the 31st minute off a corner, Viernes took charge in the midfield, scrambling after every loose ball and tackling like one possessed.

His passing also was impecable, having no fewer than five potential assists in the second half alone. But it was his own unselfishness that saved Svecia from embarassment on their own turf.

Taking a pass from Mikael Solskjaer at the top of the TB box in the 87th minute, Viernes took a desperation shot. Much to the stadium's dismay the ball ricocheted off the post - but right back to Viernes who had followed his shot in. His second volley gave the TB keeper, who scrambled to recover from his diving save attempt, no chance in the world to touch and Svecia pulled Tanah Burung down from their first place perch.

Unfortunately, Ravenspire won 4-0 on the road, but Svecia must still travel to Ravenspire so nothing is set in stone in Group 1 yet. However, a win by the Lightning and a tie or loss by Tanah Burung would pull Svecia into either a two-way or a three-way tie for first going into the final matches.

Lemmitania

07-04-2004, 01:13

OC Sacb shoot in ram.

Live from Lemmington, this is the Dean of Lemmitanian sports, Lana Maelstrom, with the World Cup update. We're nearin' the end of World Cup qualificiation, 'avin' lived through five brutal months of international football that's seen more deaths an rebirths than-- wull, than we usually see in the World Cup. 'ere to discuss the Lemmings chances of qulaifyin' for the eleventh consecutive finals are Melanie Melsterson an' 'ead coach 'oagy Lemmichael. Mel, 'oagy, welcome to the broadcast.

Mel: Thanks, Lana.

Hoagy: What's this about OC Sacb and a ram?

Lana: Pardon me?

Hoagy: OC Sacb. I heard on Insaniac Radio this morning that OC Sacb was involved in some sort of shooting. Involving also a ram, from what I heard.

Lana: I seem to 'ave forgotten 'oo the 'ell OC Sacb is.

Hoagy: OC Sacb! OC Sacb! The famous Insaniacian underground poet and beat writer.

Mel: Ohhh, OC Sacb. Yeah. I remember him. He wrote "Ode to Lebustitis."

Hoagy: That he did. Also Fowl. "I've seen the best minds of my generation destroyed by chickens. Gigantic freaking chickens." have you ever seen gigantic chickens, Mel?

Mel: Nope.

Hoagy: What about you, Lana?

Lana: Um... once, outside a chicken retaurant I saw a fellow dressed in a big chicken suit.

Hoagy: Not the same thing. That's like comparing a live evisceratomato to a guy in a big tomato suit.

Lana: Hmm.

Mel: Have you ever seen gigantic freking chickens, Hoagy?

Hoagy: I'm glad you asked me that, Mel. There was one time--

Lana: 'ow about if we talk about the Lemmings?

Hoagy: --Goofball Island, as part of an exhibition tour with the Lembeasts. And I don't know if you know this, but on Goofball Island--

Lana: 'e don't miss a beat, do 'e?

Hoagy: --giant chickens. Also penguins, and skunks. Apparently they like black-and-white animals. Anyway, --

Lana: There we go. 'e can just go a'ead an talk all 'e wants now I've unplugged 'im.

Mel: But what was it he was saying about OC Sacb?

Lana: 'oo care? Let's talk about the Lemmings.

Mel: I don't know, Lana. If OC Sacb was involved in a ram shooting, I think everybody'd want to know that.

Lana: So let 'em watch the news.

Mel: I can't wait for the news! I have to find out!

Lana: Why?

Mel: I was a devoted OC Sacb follower all my formative years. He made me who I am today.

Lana: Five minutes ago you barely even remembered 'is existence!

Mel: Well, that was five minutes ago. This is now. And if there was a ram shooting--

Lana: Wot the 'ell is a 'ram shooting' anyway?

Mel: I don't know! I don't know!

Lana: Okay, folks, we're gonna break for messages 'ere, an' when we return, I expec' me co-broadcasters to 'ave gotten their acts together. Got it, Mel?

Squornshelous

07-04-2004, 02:40

Squornshelous Continues Unbeaten Streak Against Creedence Clearwater and Grand Master Mark
Squornshelous tacks up a pair of 2-1 victories over Creedence Clearwater in matchday 13 and Grand master Mark in matchday 14. The Pchychoes came out determined against Creedence Clearwater, whom they tied 2-2 in the first meeting between the teams. They put up the opening goal in the 23rds minute, on a high richochet off of a blocked shot. Richards took a try from the corner of the 18-yard box, and it bounced up into the air off of (player's) thigh. The goal keeper was out of position and Sammy Brooks darted in to score the opener on a header. CC struck back in the 38th minute, scoring on a counterattack from a corner at the other end. The defensive mids were caught out of position and (player) got a shot off that whizzed past Toby Allen's outstretched arms after beating Karl Edmonds with a quick crossover. With the score even at halftime, the stage was set for another draw, but that wasn't on the Pschychoes' game plan. They came out in the second half shooting hard and often, and in the 74th minute, it paid off. Tito Rivera took a shot from about 30 yards out that caught the exhausted goalkeeper leaning the wrong way. He was unable to react in time, and the shot went in.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 2-1 Creedence Clearwater

Scoring Summary:
S: Brooks 23
C: (player) 38
S: Rivera 74

Matchday 14 also resulted in a 2-1 win. Once again Squornshelous scored first. Tobias Jones, who has officially taken over for Francisco Chavez, got an early assist on a Koren Jackson goal in the 32nd minute. He spotted Koren standing just at the edge of the box, and sent a low, hard ball over to him. Koren headed it back the other way, leaving the keeper sprawling in the dirt. Squornshelous added to their lead early in the second half, going ahead 2-0 in the 51st minute. Richards took the ball down the sideline, and then floated it inside. Jackson got his head on it, but the diving goalie punched it well clear, where it landed right at the feet of Sven Stikolsmur. He took the shot without trapping the ball, and just as the keeper was getting up, it swished into the net. The by now infamous Squornshelan defense went into action, allowing only three shots the remainder of the game, however, one of those three struck home in the 81st minute. Somehow, (player) made his way to the backdoor unnoticed on a corner kick, and the ball sailed over everyone elses heads to his feet. He then easily shot it into the goal.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 2-1 Grand master Mark

Scoring Summary:
S: Jackson 32
S: Stikolsmur 51
G: (player) 81

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Jackson: 10
Richards: 4
Rivera: 3
Brooks: 2
Jones: 2
Chavez: 2
Stikolsmur: 1

Group 7 Standings after Matchday 14:
[code:1:2a0c110a2b]
Group 7
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Squornshelous 36 11 3 0 24: 5 19
2. Antaeus Rising 31 9 4 1 23: 5 18
3. Lemmitania 28 8 4 2 20: 7 13
4. Jeruselem 27 8 3 3 24:15 9
5. Creedence Clearwater 26 8 2 4 22:13 9
6. Grand master Mark 19 6 1 7 17:14 3
7. The Republican Army 15 5 0 9 11:21 -10
8. Jaegermeistria 8 1 5 8 6:19 -13
9. Haraki 6 1 3 10 4:28 -24
10.New Cyprus 1 0 1 13 5:29 -24
[/code:1:2a0c110a2b]

With this setup, Squornshelous will be within a milimeter of qualifying with a either a win in matchday 15, or a loss by Jerusalem. The only reason that we will not qualify outright it the slim possibility that Jerusalem could reach 39 points and maybe gain 11 goals in their GD. A highly unlikely scenario.

The Eagles Nest

07-04-2004, 03:37

The Eagle's Nest Update Show

*Scenes of Horace's debut flash as the Eagle's Nest preview show starts up. Very little is shown of the very dissapointing Formula One Racing 0-0 tie today.*

Hello, I'm your host Sam Smith. With the underachieving Nest today failing to score at home against eliminated Formula One Racing, well...we're not going to talk about much about that (bloody spatula bomb)

SO.....we now have the following standings in group 4:

[code:1:a535a406f5]
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Gesamtkuntswerk 14 11 3 0 21 3 18 36 48
2 The Eagle's Nest 14 9 3 2 20 6 14 30 42
3 Commerce Heights 14 8 4 2 20 6 14 28 40
4 Mattigool 14 8 2 4 17 11 6 26 38
5 Anti-Nazis 14 6 5 3 19 10 9 23 35
6 Vozvyshennost 14 6 3 5 16 10 6 21 33
E Formula One Racing 14 3 2 9 5 16 -11 11 23
E Fortuna Prospera 14 3 2 9 6 20 -14 11 23
E Mordecei 14 0 4 10 4 25 -21 4 16
E Gleam Street 14 0 4 10 2 23 -21 4 16
[/code:1:a535a406f5]

So the Birds continue to hold onto second place, but Commerce Heights has moved into third on two great games and now are 2 points away from the Birds for the second spot.

Due to the issues we had last time with commercials, the Infomation Crunchers, Inc. has underwritten tonight's show commercial free. Now onto the anaylsis.

At this point, there are only 6 teams left contention to gain qualifying spots, so we will look at their schedules. But first we look at the top three teams right now, and what they need to lock their spot.All points are given assuming that a clinch only if 4th place Mattigool wins every match.

Gesamtkuntswerk:
Points needed to qualify: 3

The Eagle's Nest:
Points to qualify: 9

Commerce Heights:
Points to qualify: 11
Unfortunately, One of these games is against Mattigool, so that game is key.

So, those schedules:
Gesamtkuntswerk:
Anti-Nazi's, Mattigool (away)
Mordecei, Fortuna Prospera (home)

Well, the home games are a free 6 points, and the way they have played, they should get a point at least from the Anti-Nazis and Mattigool...but will probably win all 4

Prediction: 12/12 (Will Qualify)

The Eagle's Nest
Fortuna Prospera, Commerce Heights (away)
Vozyshennost, Anti-Nazis (home)

A tought schedule...probably 2 wins, a tie, and we'll throw in a loss to make it interesting.
Prediction 7/12 (Not 9????? Uh Oh....let's continue)

Commerce Heights
Mattigoo. Gleam Street (away)
Fortuna Prospera, TEN (home)

3 wins....hopefully they lose to the Nest
Prediction: 9/12 (not 11!!!)

Mattigool
Commerce Heights, Gesamtkuntswerk (Home)
Gleam Street, Formula One Racing (Away)

Win 2, Lose 2.
Prediction: 6/12

Anti-Nazis
Gesam., Vozy, (Home)
Formula One Racing, TEN (Away)

2 wins, a loss, and a tie predicted here.
Prediction: 7/12

Vozyshennost
Formula One Racing, Mordecei (Home)
TEN, Anti-Nazis (Away)

Since Vozy has showna knack to tie or lose to teams they shouldn't too, we give them a win and 3 ties.

Prediction: 4/12

SO........we've had our crack staff working on this, and this is the composite prediction they've come up with:

[code:1:a535a406f5]
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
1 Gesamtkuntswerk 18 15 3 0 25 3 22 48 48
2 Commerce Heights 18 11 4 3 24 8 16 37 37
3 The Eagle's Nest 18 11 4 3 24 9 15 37 37
4 Mattigool 18 10 2 6 19 13 6 32 32
5 Anti-Nazis 18 8 6 4 23 13 10 30 30
6 Vozvyshennost 18 7 6 5 18 11 7 27 27
7 Formula One Racing 18 4 3 11 6 18 -12 15 15
8 Fortuna Prospera 18 4 2 12 7 23 -16 14 14
9 Mordecei 18 0 5 13 5 29 -24 5 5
10 Gleam Street 18 0 5 13 3 27 -24 5 5
[/code:1:a535a406f5]

We drop to third on goal differential. But we make it in, some predictions have us holding 2nd, but we will see.

Key Matches:

MD15:
Anti Nazis v. Gesamtkuntswerk
Mattigool v. Commerce Heights ***KEY game of the remaining schedule***

MD16:
TEN vs. Vozyshennost

MD17:
Anti-Nazis v. Vozyshennost
Commerce Heights v. TEN ***2nd KEY game of the remaining schedule***
Mattigool v. Gesamtkuntswerk

MD18:
TEN v. Anti-Nazis (maybe not depending on MD17 results)

So we think we'll make it in. A win tomorrow coupled with a Nattigool loss puts us one win away from nearly clinching. Mattigool ties, and the Nest would need a win to clinch at least a 3rd place tie with Mattigool.

Anyway, I am Sam Smith....and all I can say...Go Birds!

Melmond

07-04-2004, 04:02

The Run to 5th Place Starts Well
Since Official Elimination, Melmond wins 2-0 in Quest to be in the Top Half of the Group
By Zuke O’Kenzie of the O’Connor Times

O’CONNOR, MELMOND—Going into tonight’s match against Raptor Claw, the Melmond national team had every reason to give up. First off before the match, the Fearless Farmers got wind that they were mathematically eliminated from qualifying for the World Cup final. Second, their best player, Critandi Unne, is out with a concussion caused by slipping on a stray cowpie in the Pasture in a match against the BSE Free Bovines. And third, veteran defender Paul “Edgy” Shields has been officially suspended for the rest of qualifying, the Cup of Harmony, and the first half of World Cup 14 qualifying. True to Melmond spirit, they just take what comes to them and try their hardest. The unfortunate recipient of this new Melmondian resolve was minnows Raptor Claw.
The retractable roof in Woocat Books Ballpark was closed on this chilly night with subzero temperatures and a whirling wind in O’Connor. This was the first game not to sell out in Melmond as the Fearless Farmers are out of the qualifying picture and the opponent is mere Raptor Claw The players got to enjoy playing on fresh grass as well as the comfy indoor temperature. That was all Raptor Claw got to enjoy as the Fearless Farmers were determined to get back on track.
In the first half, the name of the Melmond game was offence. The quick moving midfield of Martin Goodwin, David Bixler, Camui Arai, and Rainy Zoulthane kept the entire Raptor Claw team on guard for the whole half. Many corner kicks were forced but none converted by the Fearless Farmers. The first breakthrough came at the 15th minute by O’Connor Greens club teammates Rainy Zoulthane and Benjamin Leeb. They got to treat their home crowd by a clever back heel from Zoulthane which Leeb rocketed on the far side of the net, well beyond the reach of the Raptor Claw goalkeeper. Leeb’s goal makes the game 1-nil in favor of Melmond.
Fifteen minutes later, Melmond makes a quick strike as defender Kestrel Bluesummers makes a quick and accurate clear picked up by Martin Goodwin. Goodwin makes the perfect cross and striker Chris Owen just flies through the air like a guided missile and heads the ball right past the Raptor Claw goalkeeper. It may only be 2-nil against Raptor Claw in a game that is rather meaningless, but the artistry of that goal was worth celebrating. Melmond maintains the pressure until the end of the half.
In the second half, defence was the name of the Melmond game. In a show of gratitude for the fans that came to the game, Manager Felix Coostatlwak substituted defender Jonsi Torrini for O’Connor Greens defender Scott Cheney. This move proved not only to be crowd pleasing, but soundly tactical as well. Scott Cheney never gave main Raptor Claw striker Vinsanasaurus any clear shot at the goal. Whenever the Raptor Claw midfielder tried to find someone to pass to, it was intercepted, cleared away, or prevented by a very good timed tackle.
Vinsanasauras was able to get past the Melmond defense one time in the entire game. However, goalkeeper Cory Yankovic was well in position to make the easy save. In the end, the explosive offence and the savoir faire defence proved to be too much for Raptor Claw as the Fearless Farmers sweep them away 2-0.
The Fearless Farmers go from a relatively easy game to quite possibly the hardest game of the season, an away match against the great Ravenspire squad. This challenge will be made greater without their star player Critandi Unne, who is still out with a concussion. Manager Felix Coostatlwak said about the upcoming four games, “Alpha Commune looks to be a gimmie, Ravenspire will be the toughest and I will be very happy with a tie, most of all I want to beat Kingsford or Stalag 5. If we beat both I would be beyond ecstatic.” In questions about being a spolier, Coostatlwak replied, "We are the Fearless Farmers, obviously we don't like to talk about spoilage, we are in the race to be in the top half of the group."

Goals
Leeb, MEL 15th
Owen, MEL 30th

Cards
None

Standings

Other Group 1 Results
Alpha Commune 0 – Ravenspire 4
Kingsford 1 – Skipdonia 0
Stalag 5 1 – BSE Free Bovines 0
Svecia 1 – Tanah Burung 1

[code:1:706ccbb980]Group 1
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Ravenspire 33 11 0 3 25: 9 16
2. Tanah Burung 32 10 2 2 26: 6 20
3. Svecia 30 9 3 2 19: 5 14
4. Kingsford 24 7 3 4 14: 8 6
5. Stalag 5 23 6 5 3 15:13 2
6. Melmond 17 5 2 7 13:21 -8
7. BSE Free Bovines 11 2 5 7 11:18 -7
8. Raptor Claw 10 2 4 8 7:19 -12
9. Skipdonia 9 3 0 11 5:18 -13
10.Alpha Commune 7 1 4 9 3:21 -18[/code:1:706ccbb980]

Melmond Team Stats
Goals: Critandi Unne (4), Chris Owen (3), Benjamin Leeb (2) Diallo Unne (1), Camui Arai (1), Martin Goodwin (1), Taxt (1)
Cards: Cristina Antunez (2), Jonsi Torrini (2), Paul “Edgy” Shields (1,1), Nina Steen (1), Taxt (1)

Melmond National Team Schedule

@ Svecia L 4-0
v Skipdonia (Farmers Field, Melmond City) W 1-0
@ Tanah Burung L 2-0
v BSE Free Bovines (Lifedonations Stadium, Morales) W 1-0
@ Raptor Claw W 2-1
v Ravenspire (Microcosm Stadium, Aldi) L 2-0
@ Alpha Commune T 1-1
@ Kingsford L 2-0
v Stalag 5 (Walladome, Acosta) T 1-1
v Svecia (Unne Sports Temple, Unne) L 2-1
@ Skipdonia W 3-1
v Tanah Burung (Xpress Counsel Field, Cali) L 2-0
@ BSE Free Bovines L 3-1
v Raptor Claw (Woocat Books Ballpark, O’Connor) W 2-0
@ Ravenspire
v Alpha Commune (MPNK Stadium, Faasen)
v Kingsford (Farmers Field, Melmond City)
@ Stalag 5

Next Game
at Ravenspire

In the first half of the qualifying season, the showdown between Melmond and Ravenspire looked to be one of the most interesting matchups in the group. At this moment though it looks as if a Ravenspire rout is impending as Ravenspire has now been rejuvenated back to greatness and is the favorite to finish first in the qualifying group. The Fearless Farmers, still without superstar midfielder Critandi Unne, will be ecstatic just to leave Ravenspire with a tie. Rainy Zoulthane and David Bixler have been playing well and will be kept in the starting lineup. Scott Cheney will be replacing Kestrel Bluesummers for his stellar defensive play in the Raptor Claw game.

GK- Cory Yankovic
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Scott Cheney
D- Nina Steen
M- Martin Goodwin
M- David Bixler
M- Camui Arai
M- Rainy Zoulthane
F- Chris Owen
F- Benjamin Leeb

For tickets to Ravenspire and the game call Therewegoes Travel Agency at 3-18-357-9009. Unlike most of the destinations the Fearless Farmers went to in their failed attempt to qualify for World Cup 13, Ravenspire is basically the only decent place of them all. It is a storied, ancient magic space kingdom with very interesting literature that the well educated Melmondian can appreciate. The foxpeople village is very interesting and the locals are friendly.

Eauz

07-04-2004, 04:20

Le Libre

Fans return

Even though, tonights match is not against a very strong team, or even a team in contention really with qualifying, the fans for Les Bleus are returning to tonights match to watchs Les Bleus. Currently, Les Bleus are 1st, and will be hoping to stay on top for the next 4 matches. Les Bleus should win in the next two matches, as they are playing weaker teams in Redavic Union and Just an Egg.

Also in a matches, Figeu will be returning to play. The coach has said, he will let him play 10 minutes, and then bench him for the rest of the match. He does not want Figeu to put too much stress on anything, and mess his back up again. The coach said, "It's scarry to put him out there, but I've talked to him, and he says he is doing fine, and should be feeling very well by the time he can play again, I won't make him play very long, even if he wants to, maybe 5 - 10 minutes"

Les Bleus will also be in strong form by Match day 17, and will be hoping they are still in first to continue winning for Les Bleus.

Currently, here at Le Stade d'Eauz, it is very early in the match, and neither team has scored a goal. Summary after the match...

Tadjikistan

07-04-2004, 08:48

Defeat

Tadjikistan was defeated by the Europa Brittania today with 5-0, a bad result. It has to be said that Tadjikistan was a bit unlucky as the captain of the team Zhukov was still injured, but it did not stop there. EB played a good match and got a numerical advantage when Meretskov received a red card for a tackle. Meretskov told us that he did not want to go for the attackers legs but he never expected to attacker to make a short turn. So with only 10 vs 11, one man less in the defense, Tadjikistan got pushed back into its own goal and suffered a 5-0 defeat. A defeat that did not satify Coach Isserson: "I will have a talk with the players after the match, this is simply unacceptable. There was simply not enough initiative, some of them looked like bags of potatoes, no sped and no technique". He has a point there, especially 3th and 4th goals could have been stopped by the defense, during the third goal Aleinikov failed to cover his flank. The 4th goal came when the defenders were in a dispute over who was to do what. I think this is a match we best forget as soon as possible, for it was a disgrace. And accept for a couple of good actions from Cherniakhovskij and Lyudnikov there was little interesting about the Tadjiks.

It is highly doubtfull that any of the supporters really care, Tadjikistan was already eliminated and this match could be seen as a friendly match; the result doesnt matter. Both Isserson and Frunze however would like to see their national team play good and learn for the next encounter in WC14Q. Maybe tomorrow they will get what they want, we'll just have to wait.

Liverpool England

07-04-2004, 09:31

The World Cup Update - 5 Games to Go
Day 14 - Intelligent Madness [H]

An easy task. Should be easy to win, but given the team's recent form might prove a challenge. Prediction: Win by 2 goals

Final Score: Win 1-0 - Prediction not spot on, but the three points is good.

Day 15 - East Spaam [H]

A match which may inevitably decide third place and the final qualifying spot. The team won the first match away, and should be able to come away with the three points. Prediction: Win by 1 goal

Final Score: Win 1-0 - That's two 1-0s in a row, but prediction was absolutely correct.

Day 16 - Zephyrs [A]

Unknown team, except that they have already been eliminated. Prediction: Win by at least three goals

Score Prediction: 2-0

Day 17 - Europa Brittania [H]

The toughest test. First match lost 1-0 away, pretty respectable, but team will be without Mark Hearne Jr, suspended due to his red card against Eauz. Prediction: Win by 1 goal

Score Prediction: 2-1 or 3-2

Day 18 - The Redavic Union [A]

First match won 3-1 at home. Might be tough test. Prediction: Draw

Score Prediction: 1-1

Final Prediction: 13 points from 15
Final Points Tally Prediction: 27+13 = 40 out of 18*3 = 54
Final Prediction: Qualify in second.

The Belmore Family

07-04-2004, 10:18

*"Match of the Week" titles roll*

Thomas Wickersham: Hello and welcome to Match of the Week. After some intense World Cup Matches last night, we take you over all the Group 5 matches that were played earlier today. First to kick off were our own team, The Belmore Family, playing out against stugglers Vilita, Laurence Wellden has the coverage.

OK, the teams are ready to come out. Let's have a look how they will start:

[code:1:f1d1cc6df3] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
| | | Oli Gadd | | |
| | | Dan Austin | | |
| | | | | |
| | ------------- | |
|Paul Battersby Will Edwards Robin Aggleton|
| | | |
| ---------------------------------------- |
| \ / |
| \_ _ _ _ _/ |
| Lucus Birrel-Gray |
|Aaron Odedra Tom Potter|
| Simon Rivers |
| AJay Lal |
| Alan Belmore |
| ----- |
| / \ |
|------------------------/ \-----------------------|
| \ / |
| \ / |
| ----- |
| Callum Banda Germán Salomón |
|Santo Kecker Jonathon Stott|
| Jonathon Baledrokadroka Baron O' Toole |
| _ _ _ _ _ |
| / \ Belmore |
| /Birrel-Gray\ Price |
| ---------------------------------------- |
| | Ahat | |
| | | |
| Rivers Adika ------------- | |
| | | | | Potter|
| | | | | Cairns|
| | | Corsi | | |
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ [/code:1:f1d1cc6df3]
*Flick to Belmorians with kickoff*

LW: So with Belmorians playing left to right in the first half the ref blows his whistle. Lal to Belmore. Belmore back to Birrel-Grey who plays it across to Potter. Potter controls and runs it deep into their half, but Cairns tackles and plays it back to the half way line and Banda collects. Banda plays it up past Oddedra as Kecker collects. Kecker pulls it into the edge of the D, flies the ball towards Salomón, heads it towards goal.... Great Save by Oli Gadd. TBF on the edge as Vilita start well. Let's look at a replay, Keackers, cross was excellent, finding Salomón deep inside the box, but Oli Gadd great dive helped us not to go down to an embarrassing early goal.
[code:1:f1d1cc6df3] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
| | Banda | Oli Gadd | | |
| | Edwards | | Salomón | |
| | | | | |
| | ------------- | |
| | Austin Robin Aggleton| |
| Battersby-------------------------------------- |
| Kecker \ / |
| \_ _ _ _ _/ |[/code:1:f1d1cc6df3]

LW: Throw in to TBF after 12 minutes. Potter takes and gets it to Birrel Gray. Gray walks it up to the halfway line slides it to Rivers. Rivers, back out to Potter. Potter taps it down and plays it through to Lal on the edge of the Box. Lal finds Odeddra in the corner. Odedra flies it in, Corsi fumbles Rivers tidies up. 1-0 the Belmorians! Simon Rivers gives TBF an early lead in what has so far been a midfield affair. Bad Luck for the Vilitans, but a great opportunity for the Belmorians. Let's look at the replay, As soon as Aaron had the ball, TBF were commanding. The hard cross into the box left the keeper with 2 options punch or catch, he went for the catch but it was mistimed leaving Rivers the simple job of tapping the ball in.

[code:1:f1d1cc6df3]| _ _ _ _ _ |
| / \ |
| / Lal \ |
| ---------------------------------------- |
| | Cairns | |
| | Belmore Potter | |
| | Ahat ------------- | |
| | | Price | | |
| Adika | | Rivers | |
|Odedra | | Corsi | | |
_ _ _ _ _|_ _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ |_ _ _ [/code:1:f1d1cc6df3]

LW: Birrel-Gray across to Oddedra. Oddedra back to Edwards. Edwards boots it out but only as far as Stott. Stott stops and plays it forwards to Banda. Banda controls, blasts the ball in, but the shot is met easily by Gadd. Gadd kicks it out to Aggleton, Aggleton down to Potter. Potter into Rivers, Rivers back to Potter in corner. Potter pulls it back and plays it to Birrel-Gray on the edge of the box. Takes a flying shot… what a save by Corsi, tapping it away.

Let’s see a replay of that, Potter’s pass was excellently timed, just beating Cairns and with Ahat out marking Oddedra he had a free shot in which he made the keeper earn his money.

[code:1:f1d1cc6df3]| _ _ _ _ _ Belmore |
| Rivers / \ Price |
| /Birrel-Gray\ |
| ---------------------------------------- |
| | Cairns | |
| | | |
| | ------------- | |
| Odedra Ahat | | | |
| | | | | Adika |
| | | Corsi | | Potter|
| _ _ _ _ _ | _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _|_ _ _ _|[/code:1:f1d1cc6df3]

*halftime whistle blows*

Substitutions:
Edwarde for Lal
Wickersham for Austin

LW: 10 minutes into the second half of a game, which has mainly been a midfield affair. But Stott plays it out to O’ Toole who pauses, and plays the ball to Baledrokadroka halfway into the Belmorian half. Baledrokadroka plays it across to Keker who slides it past Oddedra and takes it into the centre across to Banda who strikes it.. Wickersham deflects it out for a coner.

LW: Aggleton out to Oddedra, across to Belmore, he’s on two defenders. Takes it between the two he’s racing past them. He looks up as he arrives in the D. He approaches the keeper, knocks it past him, and taps it in!!!!! TBF are 2 up. What a goal by Alan Belmore. He really deserved that, only minutes from the end.

[code:1:f1d1cc6df3]| Adika _ _ _ _ _ Cairns |
| / \ |
| / Oddedra \ |
| ---------------------------------------- |
| | | |
| | | |
| | ------------- | |
| | | Corsi | | |
| | | | | |
| | | Belmore | | |
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Final Score:

THE BELMORE FAMILY 2
VILITA 0

MAN OF THE MATCH: Alan Belmore

BOOKINGS: Thomas Wickersham
SENDING OFFS:

The Belmore Family

07-04-2004, 13:44

TBF win
Tony the Tiger says Grrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeaaaaaattttt

Tony the Tiger (TM of Kelloggs) has replied to the news that TBF have beaten The Lowland Clans with the words "They're grrrrrrrreeeeeaaaattttt". this move has surprised several commentators who expected Tony to stay neutral, as he as up to now. The famous cartoon character has made several mistakes in the past (alledgedly sleeping with the Pink Panther), experts are wondering whether this is another.

Yogi Bear has also got involved in the matter, wondering whether Tong the Tiger is now the Belmorian mascot. With his 5 yeear contract with Kelloggs, Yogi wonders whether he wants to say more than, "Eat frosties, they're Grrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeaaaaaattttt", and wishes to expand to "Belmore will go to the World Cup, because they're Grrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeaaaaaattttt".

We'll keep you updated.....

Eauz

07-04-2004, 13:48

Eauz

07-04-2004, 13:49

Eauz

07-04-2004, 13:52

Le LIBRE

Eauz Qualifies on Tie

It was not the result Les Bleus were looking for, but Les Bleus have now qualified for World Cup 13, now they will play to find out what position they will come in. Unfortunately, Les Bleus came out with a tie against The Redavic Union, and while watching the Europa Brittania match, they found out they would be playing leap frog with Europa Brittania as EB won 5 – 0 against Tadjikistan.

With many fans watching the match in favour of Les Bleus, it appeared Les Bleus had on their side the fans. In the first half of play, and early, Les Bleus started a strong attack against the Union’s defence, but it resulted in nothing. Some fans started to riot for some reason but there was no serious problems. Throughout the match though, fans were yelling “You suck Eauz”, probably because they had no faith in Les Bleus. IN this match, Les Bleus were underachieving, as in the 43rd minute of play; the Union scored their first goal of the qualifying round against Les Bleus. Things for Les Bleus would not change, as they were embarrassed in the first half of play, leaving to a 1 – 0 lead for the Union.

In the second half, Les Bleus would find some life, coming out stronger, and with more life. The booing from the fans was starting to get louder, and the pressure was on Les Bleus to score. It would come from a free kick at the 66th minute of play putting Les Bleus up 1 – 1. Unfortunately for Les Bleus, this new life would not last, as neither team would score a goal after the 90:00 (+3:30) minutes. Fans were embarrassed by a team which had beaten Europa Brittania 2 – 1, and then come home to see a tie against a weaker team.

After the match the coach spoke about the match:
“I don’t know what to say. We seem to play in this second half of qualifying in a way that we win one and then do poor the next match. We just haven’t really had the team all there. It might be that we have lost a few guys due to injury or penalty’s but what can I do about that? We just need to take the next 3 games and try our best. We have a few days to travel to Just an Egg, and there we will try some different techniques. This time against Just an Egg, I hope we can score more than 1 goal.”

With three matches remaining, Les Bleus have qualified for one of three places of qualification. Lately, Les Bleus have been playing leap frog with Europa Brittania for first place. Les Bleus must play well and hold their standings for the next few matches, for match day 17 will force EB vs. LE, and if LE wins, Les Bleus could, if they win their match, qualify for first place. With an LE loss, Les Bleus will probably take second, if there is no change in the standings. This will be an exciting close race to the end.

Round 1: Tadjikistan @ Eauz W 0 - 4
Round 2: Eauz @ Intelligent Madness W 4 - 0
Round 3: Liverpool England @ Eauz W 1 - 2
Round 4: Eauz @ Zephyrs W 2 - 0
Round 5: Europa Brittania @ Eauz L 1 - 0
Round 6: Eauz @ The Redavic Union W 2 - 0
Round 7: Just an egg @ Eauz W 0 - 1
Round 8: Eauz @ Gormith W 4 - 0
Round 9: East Spaam @ Eauz W 0 - 1
Round 10: Eauz @ Tadjikistan T 0 - 0
Round 11: Intelligent Madness @ Eauz W 0 - 4
Round 12: Eauz @ Liverpool England L 0 - 1
Round 13: Zephyrs @ Eauz W 0 - 2
Round 14: Eauz @ Europa Brittania W 2 - 1
Round 15: The Redavic Union @ Eauz T 1 - 1
Round 16: Eauz @ Just an Egg
Round 17: Gormith @ Eauz
Round 18: Eauz @ East Spaam

[code:1:70d555ad4b]
Group 8
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Europa Brittania 36 12 0 3 31: 7 24 Qualified
2. Eauz 35 11 2 2 29: 5 24 Qualified
3. Liverpool England 33 10 3 2 25: 8 17 Prolly Qualified
4. East Spaam 25 8 1 6 24:13 11 Prolly Eliminated
5. Gormith 23 6 5 4 17:14 3 Eliminated
6. The Redavic Union 20 6 2 7 15:21 -6 Eliminated
7. Tadjikistan 17 4 5 6 12:23 -11 Eliminated
8. Intelligent Madness 10 2 4 9 8:28 -20 Eliminated
9. Just an egg 7 1 4 10 4:24 -20 Eliminated
10.Zephyrs 4 0 4 11 5:27 -22 Eliminated
[/code:1:70d555ad4b]

Stats after 13 match days for Group 8:

Most Goals For: Europa Brittania (31)
Least Goals For: Just an Egg (4)
Most Goals against: Intelligent Madness (28 )
Least Goals against: Eauz (5)
Most Wins: Europa Brittania (12)
Least Wins: Zephyrs (0)
Most Losses: Zephyrs (11)
Least Losses: Eauz, Liverpool England (2)
Highest Goal Difference: Eauz, Europa Brittania (+24)
Lowest Goal Difference: Zephyrs (-22)

Jeruselem

07-04-2004, 14:03

Jeruselem Government News

Crusaders in the running despite two losses

Two losses to rivals Lemmitania 1-0 and Squornshelous 2-1 pushed Jeruselem down to 5th from 3rd, but Jeruselem is only 5 points behind Antaeus Rising. Jeruselem can catch Lemmitania and Creedence Clearwater only being 2 points ahead of Jeruselem.

Team captain Rabbi Goldstein was still hopeful "We had two narrow losses to quality teams and did not get thrashed. Some points would have been useful and we would be 2rd or 3rd if we had a win or two. Three more games and we must win most of those."

[code:1:48762957c5]
Group 7
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Squornshelous 39 12 3 0 26: 6 20
2. Antaeus Rising 32 9 5 1 25: 7 18
3. Lemmitania 29 8 5 2 22: 9 13
4. Creedence Clearwater 29 9 2 4 24:14 10
5. Jeruselem 27 8 3 4 25:17 8
6. Grand master Mark 19 6 1 8 18:16 2
7. The Republican Army 18 6 0 9 14:22 -8
8. Jaegermeistria 8 1 5 9 7:22 -15
9. Haraki 7 1 4 10 5:29 -24
10.New Cyprus 2 0 2 13 6:30 -24

[/code:1:48762957c5]

Bedistan

07-04-2004, 14:40

<commercial>

Julie: Tow separatists stage another protest in Uk-Tow Ri...

Mark: New Town fined þ2M for pollution violations...

Julie: And the Lions' qualifying chances looking very iffy after a narrow loss to Audioslavia...

Mark: All that and more, today on Channel 6 News at Noon.

<end commercial>

[OOC: RP to come later... :?]

Dance 2 Revolution

07-04-2004, 15:43

*Place: Dressing Room Time: Just After a 1-2 loss against Warnock Wizards*

Terry Freeze: Come on lads. You can do better than that! You’ve beaten these before, and that was away. The whole team effort was not good enough. You lost to a team of zombies for god sake!
*mumble from D2R’s team*
Freeze: Now…I want you all to rest and I’ll see you in training tomorrow.

*Place: Lovebug Away Team’s Training Ground Time: 7:00 LNT (Lovebug National Time)*

Freeze: Where the hell is Vivid?
Maeda: Vivid has a few “child problems” and had to stay back at home. He should be available for the Vilita match.
Freeze: ******* Hell. Maeda just choose 10 people and play free-role…OK?
Maeda: Sure.

*Place: Lovebug International Stadium Time: 3:00PM LNT*

*Commentary from Paul Carscoin*

P: Excellent atmosphere here today as we are ready to kick off this World Cup 13 Group Stage Game. D2R are without the striking force of Vivid and have started the game with an unusually defensive minded 5-4-1 formation. Lovebug have their main central midfielder back from suspension.
<21’> P: Nice chip into D2R’s box…Lovebug on the volley! 1-0 Lovebug! Even with 5 defenders, D2R’s defensive work seems slightly slow moving.
<45’+2’> P: We’re into the last minute of added time now. Pass-back by Stomp. Miss-hit by Handplant. It falls to the attacker who slides it into the net for Lovebug. 2-0. Terrible mistake by Handplant to end the half.

*Place: Dressing Rooms Time: Half Time*

Freeze: Right…Yozora is on. Double is on. You two are off. Formation Change to an Attacking 4-3-3. No questions asked…just destroy them.

*Place: Lovebug International Stadium Time: 2nd Half Kick off*

P: D2R coming back with a look that more suits their style of play. The two wingers are taken off to be replaced with Yozora on the left of attack and Double on the right of attack. Let’s see if D2R can pull back…
<53’> P: Yozora running the ball past the midfielders. He has a crack from 50 yards! It’s in! Bewilders the keeper…1-0
<72’> P: Double takes it into the box…he has no support. Shot! Goal! The angle seemed impossible. The bench warmers are showing their stuff today! 2-2!
<91+3’> P: It is very possible that D2R will be out of the running if the result stays this way. They will be 5 points behind 4th placed The Belmore Family if this match ends in a draw. But the match isn’t over yet. Maeda running through the middle. Chipped through the middle of defense. Bicycle kick! Craig Spin finishes a glorious come-back for D2R. 3-2 to D2R. And that ends the match. Some call it luck. Some call it nice timing. Others call it tactical play. Whatever you call it, D2R win by 3 goals to 2.

*Place: Daiken Road(Dance 2 Revolution International Stadium) Time: 12:00 PM RNT*

Freeze: Vivid, what was wrong with your baby then?
Vivid: Just MBC (Max Blood Contamination) nothing too serious
Freeze: Glad to hear it.
Vivid: The tabloids said we struggled at Lovebug. How so?
Freeze: Pah, tabloids!? We had a strategy, to make them comfortable and then take advantage. Tabloids know nothing of great strategy and technique. We used the best of the available resources. You know you are our star striker
Vivid: Heh
Freeze: Get ready for the match then.

*Place: Daiken Road Time: 12:30 PM RNT*

*Commentary from Peter Dreary*

P: Welcome to Daiken Road. D2R hoping to get back on the qualification track with a win over Lovisa. Vivid is again available for this match, who will be up-front with match winner Craig Spin and last match’s Man of The Match Yozora.
<31’> P: A very dull half up to now. Very little flair coming from either team. Maeda is looking slightly fatigued, as are many of the regulars for D2R. Likewise for Vilita.
<44’> P: The game starting to build pace now…Vivid takes on the defenders. He is through onto the goalkeeper…He lobs! Off the bar and into the relieved arms of the goalkeeper.
<72’> P: D2R has most of the possession so far in this half…Vivid with a flick back to Maeda…1st touch chip forward to break up the defense. Vivid on the volley! Marginally over by Vivid.
<85’> P: Handplant with the goal-kick…Maeda blasting the ball behind him off the volley…It reaches Vivid in the box who chests the ball up…Overhead kick! 1-0 D2R…spectacular goal!

*Place: Daiken Road Home Team Dressing Room Time: After the final whistle*

Freeze: Handplant, Maeda, Vivid. Nice move out there.
Vivid: Thanks boss.
Maeda: No problems.
Freeze: Now team. We travel to The Belmore Family. I want you to continue our spectacular away record. For us to qualify, a win is essential. No sub-par performances. I’ve said this before. A WIN IS ESSENTIAL! Can you remember the last time I said that? Yeah, you drew and we were eliminated. So my judgment is best, ok. Winning this will put our team on equal terms with The Belmore Family. And if The Lowland Clans manage to lose too. It will blow the group wide open for us. I’ll meet you all in The Belmore Family Training Ground tomorrow.

The Weegies

07-04-2004, 16:07

Home Not So Secure For Weegies
Common opinion is still that we're screwed

Another home loss for The Weegies against Timway leaves us in a precarious position. With Sliponia now caught up on 33 points and One Red Dot only 6 points behind with 9 points available, Weegie qualification is far from either being likely or secure.

Pundits and fans are bewildered by the sudden drop in form, with Nastic 2 also grabbing points at the Dear Green Place.

"You'd think that we'd be doing well with these home matches, after the superb performances we'd pulled off in the seeded teams home turf." claimed Supporter's Association member John Yatta. "You'd think these we would walk over the teams we'd already vanquished. But we've made desperate mistakes, like in the game against Timway."

In the Timway match Sartré again showed a bizarre lack of form, straying off his line. One of the Timway strikers then chipped the ball from the half-way line, catching Sartré off guard and ending up in the back of the net. With Sartré's goal keeping in doubt, and Britton still two matches away from full fitness according to team physiotherapists, how can we stop our dreams of qualification from going awry?

The Weegies

07-04-2004, 16:16

MAN OF THE MATCH: Alan Belmore

OOC: Who'd have thought?

Woman Still Chained To Belmorian
Belmorian says he quite enjoys the female contact

The female member of protest group LSD has continued her chaining to a Belmorian minister, despite the minister claiming he "quite enjoys" the ordeal.

"To be honest, I've never had so much fun for so little cost." he said.

"I think I made a mistake." said the protestor today. "Maybe I should chain myself to someone they'd have to notice me for. Like Alan Belmore. They'll have to take notice of our cause when he gets the ball take off him because I'm slowing him down."

On the Belmorian minister, she had this to say: "Git."

That seems to say it all.

One Red Dot

07-04-2004, 17:33

(Start of act)

The setting is a comfortable living room. A father and his son are spending time together watching the sports news on TV.

TV: (corny introduction song)

Stu Dyogai: It has been a depressing run for the Wolves after a bout of losses, and it seems that there is no way that One Red Dot can climb back. Could this possibly be the end o..."

(The room turns dark)

Son: Dad, what happened?

Father: Damn it (semi-silent), stupid power station. It's alright son, it's just a blackout.

Son: Then how about the football results? I want to know how our country did.

Father: It's okay, we can always read it in the newspaper tomorrow.

Son: Okay...

(End of act)

^ Inference: Sorry, I've no time. I guess my RP bonus is like a rock in the ocean. :lol:

Snub Nose 38

07-04-2004, 17:47

Remington County Record
Sten Lauren D’Order

Oddly, on the strength of a third draw, today’s 0 to 0 affair against Aserjin on a sloppy field, the Hooligans remain undefeated and top of the charts.

Today’s match was a defensive struggle – neither offense ever really got underway, very few chances ever developed, no goals were scored. The Hooligans had a scant two shots on goal, Aserjin managed only four. Both sides, and managers, looked relieved to leave the field having “not lost”.

The Hooligans find themselves sitting on 39 points and a Goal Differential of 26 with 3 matches to go. Three other sides have 39 points as well (all with 12 wins and 3 draws exactly as Snub Nose 38 ) – Giant Zucchini in Group 6 with a Goal Differential of 24, Squornshelous in Group 7 with a Goal Differential of 20, and Gesamtkunstwerk in Group 4, with a Goal Differential of 19.

These four also have the distinction of being the only remaining undefeated sides.

In a related story Chief Academician Albert Onestone of the Academy of Science of the Frost-Free Borderlands of Snub Nose 38 is concerned about the staying power of the Hooligans. Not, as one would expect of a football side, during a match - but rather, how long will they simply...stay? The unorthodox and somewhat arcane technology that "raised" these specters, phantoms, ghosts, banshees, and what all else is brand spankin' new, and, we've been told, not well understood. Onestone says he watches each match holding his breath, fingers crossed - and bemoans the fact that this happens to be World Cup Thirteen.

"I could have waited for fourteen," Dr. Onestone said, "But no - the powers that be insisted on immediate use. Gad! What will happen if they simply up and disappear?"

-----------------
edit - change final punctuation mark from period to question mark...because, it's a question, isn't it?

Bedistan

07-04-2004, 17:57

[torn from the sports section of the Columbia Times:]

...disappointing loss to Audioslavia one goal to none. The Lions worked hard, and in all fairness should've come away with a point, but the cards were not in our favor.

Even worse, both Dennisov and Avenging Altos won both of their matches. This leaves the top four looking like this:

1. Audioslavia - 37pts, GD +22
2. Dennisov - 32pts, GD +12
3. Bedistan - 29pts, GD +16
4. Avenging Altos - 29pts, GD +14

Our predictions for the three remaining days of matches:

Audioslavia
WIN over Iansisle (A)
DRAW with Dennisov (H)
WIN over Resistencia (A)
Needed to secure qualification: 2/9
Projected points: 7/9

Dennisov
WIN over Magnus Valerius (H)
DRAW with Audioslavia (A)
WIN over Free Radicals of Mu-Mu (H)
Needed to secure qualification: 7/9
Projected points: 7/9

Bedistan
WIN over Free Radicals of Mu-Mu (H)
WIN over NEWI Cefn Druids (A)
WIN over Fahigland (H)
Cannot secure qualification yet (10/9)
Projected points: 9/9

Avenging Altos
WIN over Resistencia (H)
WIN over Fahigland (A)
WIN over Magnus Valerius (H)
Cannot secure qualification yet (10/9)
Projected points: 9/9

Audioslavia and Dennisov should certainly go through, but third place is not likely to be decided until the final match. Our projections show the Lions making it through on goal difference. Hopefully we're right.

Melmond

07-04-2004, 18:02

Whoot!
It May Be Just a Tie, But This Game Best Melmond Performance Yet
By Ian Oioi of the Faasen Times

SARGARD, RAVENSPIRE—On paper, this matchup against the virtually qualified Ravenspire on the road looked to be the toughest yet. The last time these teams met was a rather interesting matchup as Ravenspire escaped Microcosm Stadium with a lucky 2-0 victory. Both the Fearless Farmers and the Ravens improved greatly from that game, but the Ravens are at full strength and the Fearless Farmers were missing their best player, Critandi Unne, who is still out with a concussion. Little that the Ravens and the Ravenspire faithful realize is that they were in for the fight of their life.
A sold out stadium greeted both sides on a beautiful starry night in Sargard. On the pitch, the stars that shined the brightest were both goalkeepers: Cory Yankovic of Melmond and Angelo Harrington of Ravenspire. Both goalkeepers kept their team with clean sheets despite a leaky defence on both sides. Cory Yankovic was always in position to make the easy save while Angelo Harrington made some crowd pleasing acrobatic efforts to keep the Fearless Farmers scoreless. A total of ten shots on goal combined were taken before the first breakthrough.
Tetsuya Marx, playing rather deep on the offensive zone, was looking for an open player. However, he encountered the beauty of Nina Steen and got completely distracted as Steen stole the ball away from him. The risky play called by Ravenspire left a wide open Camui Arai to streak pass the field. Angelo Harrington makes another fantastic stop, however the ball deflected of his hands and into the feet of Chris Owen who was able to finish it. The Fearless Farmers are raptured by the emotion. They were up 1-nil against mighty Ravenspire in Ravenspire. Could this really be? Chris Owen scores his fourth goal of the year at the 40th minute as the Fearless Farmers lead 1-nil. They will take that lead into halftime as a surprised yet ecstatic Fearless Farmers headed to the locker room.
At the second half, the Ravens really turned up the heat on the Fearless Farmer defense, and the defense was up to the task. Jonsi Torrini, who has greatly matured as a defender, was able to withhold the furious charges and the fox magic of Setsuna Shirosawa. The other three defenders didn’t have to face anything else as strange as fox magic, but they held their own as well, especially Scott Cheney. Scott Cheney, possibly the surprise of the Fearless Farmer squad this year being on the bench for the most while, has really emerged to be one of the top defenders on the team. His tight marking didn’t give any breathing room to the Ravenspire strikers.
However, if there was one weakness about the Melmond defence in the second half, it would be the number of corner kicks allowed. The Fearless Farmer faithful had to hold their breath every time the corner was in the air. Cory Yankovic played every corner well and the Fearless Farmers were able to clear all the corners away.
At the 81st minute, there was a feeling among the Melmond players that the Fearless Farmers were going to the unthinkable, upsetting the Ravenspire team at their own stadium. However, at the next minute it just became a dream as the Melmond defence’s penchant for giving up corners finally backfired. The Ravenspire player kicks the corner kick, Yankovic in position to catch it. All of a sudden appearing from a puff of smoke, Setsuna Shirosawa appears and heads the ball past the keeper. Shirosawa’s fox magic deadlocks the game at 1-1 as the Ravenspire fans can now exhale.
In the final minutes, it looked as if Melmond could lose this game completely as Ravenspire still poured on the pressure. However, the Fearless Farmers were able to hang on to the tie and the point. The Fearless Farmers, without their best player Critandi Unne, tied arguably the best team in the group in Ravenspire. The team was ecstatic heading into the locker room. Manager Felix Coostatlwak said that, “This was our best performance yet, I couldn’t be prouder of our team.” The Melmond team had surprising fan who was pleased with the Ravenspire tie. The Svecians called the team to wish congratulations and a thank you for slowing Ravenspire down. As a sign of truce and future friendship, the Svecians are going to let star striker Hanan Belagt play in the Melmond Premier League. It is unknown what team he will play for however.

Goals
Owen, MEL 40th
Shirosawa, RAV 82nd

Cards
None

Standings

Other Group 1 Results
Alpha Commune 0 – Kingsford 2
BSE Free Bovines 1 - Svecia 1
Raptor Claw 0 – Stalag 5 3
Tanah Burung 4 – Skipdonia 0

[code:1:6e9d963171]Group 1
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Tanah Burung 35 11 2 2 30: 6 24
2. Ravenspire 34 11 1 3 26:10 16
3. Svecia 31 9 4 2 20: 6 14
4. Kingsford 27 8 3 4 16: 8 8
5. Stalag 5 26 7 5 3 18:13 5
6. Melmond 18 5 3 7 14:22 -8
7. BSE Free Bovines 12 2 6 7 12:19 -7
8. Raptor Claw 10 2 4 9 7:22 -15
9. Skipdonia 9 3 0 12 5:22 -17
10.Alpha Commune 7 1 4 10 3:23 -20[/code:1:6e9d963171]

Melmond Team Stats
Goals: Critandi Unne (4), Chris Owen (4), Benjamin Leeb (2) Diallo Unne (1), Camui Arai (1), Martin Goodwin (1), Taxt (1)
Cards: Cristina Antunez (2), Jonsi Torrini (2), Paul “Edgy” Shields (1,1), Nina Steen (1), Taxt (1)

Melmond National Team Schedule

@ Svecia L 4-0
v Skipdonia (Farmers Field, Melmond City) W 1-0
@ Tanah Burung L 2-0
v BSE Free Bovines (Lifedonations Stadium, Morales) W 1-0
@ Raptor Claw W 2-1
v Ravenspire (Microcosm Stadium, Aldi) L 2-0
@ Alpha Commune T 1-1
@ Kingsford L 2-0
v Stalag 5 (Walladome, Acosta) T 1-1
v Svecia (Unne Sports Temple, Unne) L 2-1
@ Skipdonia W 3-1
v Tanah Burung (Xpress Counsel Field, Cali) L 2-0
@ BSE Free Bovines L 3-1
v Raptor Claw (Woocat Books Ballpark, O’Connor) W 2-0
@ Ravenspire T 1-1
v Alpha Commune (MPNK Stadium, Faasen)
v Kingsford (Farmers Field, Melmond City)
@ Stalag 5

Next Game
vs. Alpha Commune (at MPNK Stadium, Faasen)

It may be strange to call this game a gimmie as the Fearless Farmers were only able to tie Alpha Commune in their first ever meeting, but Melmond has vastly improved and Alpha Commune has gone nowhere. The Fearless Farmers are finally going to get their star player Critandi Unne back from injury and have the privilege of playing in their home nation. Melmond should definitely win this one, anything less will be a major disappointment. Gina Unne, the only player not yet to play a minute, will get the start in goal, but expect Cory Yankovic to take over in the second half so she can play in front of her club fans. Midfielder Cristina Antunez also returns to the starting lineup in place of Rainy Zoulthane.

GK- Gina Unne
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Scott Cheney
D- Nina Steen
M- Martin Goodwin
M- Critandi Unne
M- Camui Arai
M- Cristina Antunez
F- Chris Owen
F- Benjamin Leeb

MPNK Stadium
Location: Faasen, Melmond
Seats: 58,750 (Open Air)

Faasen is Melmond’s fifth largest city and is more known for its music scene rather than its sports. Faasen is known as the place that spawned international music legends such as the Lying Eyes, Neurotransmitter Frequency, and Alice Millie. Sports it is not at all the known for. MPNK Stadium was built during the rush of popularity of the Batter Up Baseball League and is mainly funded by Faasen media giant MPNK. MPNK just started up as a punk and ska radio station in the Faasen area and just grew to be a media giant in the nation. MPNK stadium is the home of the Faasen baseball team as well as the Faasen Oranges club team. Nothing remarkable about it as a stadium, but it is a memorable place for baseball moments.

Brazillico

07-04-2004, 19:01

The Brazillican national anthem (coincidentally, the theme song to "Beverly Hills Cop"), begins to play as black and white images of moments of glory from years past appear on the screen... Alex Hernandez making a sensational solo run to score the game winner in the World Cup 5 finals, marking the end of a terrific career... Esteban de Jesus thumping a free kick around the wall and off just inside the post in the final of World Cup 6... Emilio Curtiba being presented the World Cup Trophy (OOC-Does it have a name in NS football?) and hoisting it up in the air. Then the screen switches to color and "Eye of the Tiger" begins to play, as scenes of the recent World Cup qualification run appear on the screen... Alex Cannon and Sandro Cannon working a give-and-go to perfection in the opening match against Largent... David Robinho making a spectacular diving save against Indigo Islands... Tom Maracana's memorable fluke goal off the face against Pablicosta. The music begins to die out as the camera zooms in towards the carbon-fiber desk in the centre of the studio and the two smartly-dressed men sitting behind it.

Mike Indigo: Good evening! Welcome to the World Cup Review, I'm Mike Indigo and to my left is Diego Morales.

[i]Morales nods towards camera

Indigo: We have a busy night, so let's start it off with our own Chili Bats.

Morales: That's right, Mike. Brazillico was desperate for a win in order to keep any of their slim playoff chances alive and against Hawcoat, it should be an easy task.

Indigo: It should, but Hawcoat have been embarassed and humiliated many times before in this World Cup and they took to the field with something to prove today.

Morales: Let's pick it up in the 17th Minute, Hawcoat pressing hard and Mr. Hawcoat 7 whips it into the box. It gets knocked down by Joao Cannon and no one can seem to get to it. Mr. Hawcoat 10 gets a foot to it but Durango gets in the way. Mr. Hawcoat 11 tries to do something with it and send a shot on net, but Rollie Cannon gets in the way, then clears it and danger is averted.

Indigo: That scare really seemed to wake Brazillico up. In the 21st Minute, Alex Cannon beats the offside flags and finds himself alone with Mr. Hawcoat 1 in front of net. Cannon chips it with the outside of his foot towards the far post, fooling the goaltender and putting Brazillico up 1-0.

Morales: Let's fast forward to the second half and the 51st Minute. Brazillico granted a golden oppurtunity with a corner kick. Tobias Cannon whips it into the box and Tom Maracana meets it with his head, but puts it off the bar. The ball stays in play and Junior Socrates takes a shot from just inside the box, but the ball whistles over the net.

Indigo: Brazillico keeps up the pressure and get rewarded for their effort in the 70th Minute. Nelson Bilbao passes one into Sandro Cannon, who backheels it on reception to an open Alex Cannon, who one-times the shot past the sprawling Mr. Hawcoat 1 and doubling the Brazillican lead. Great stuff.

Morales: Right you are, we haven't seen as much as that Mrs. Ordonez Buttermilk smooth passing as we would've like so far in this tournament. "'Cause if it aint creamy and smooth, don't blame it on Mrs. Ordonez."

Indigo: Correct. The rest of the game was about as empty of action, as Sheida petrol is of lead. We'd like to remind you that Sheida petrol is now 97% lead free. "Sheida... it's All-Righta!"

Morales: So the score ended two-nil, with Alex Cannon collecting both goals in the game. It seems as though he starting to find the form that saw him score eleven goals in fourteen matches last time.

Indigo: Right you are, Brazillico could be a very dangerous team now that he's fully healed from his rib injury. Anyway, let's take a look at our Hareida Breweries group 2 standings. "It's bold, it's cold, It's Harieda Gold".

[code:1:3d7ffd63f2]
-=HAREIDA GOLD=-
Group 2
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Halfassedstates 37 12 1 2 33: 8 25
2. Total n Utter Insanity 34 11 1 3 21: 7 14
3. Nikea 33 10 3 2 28: 9 19
4. Aquilla 30 9 3 3 23: 6 17
5. Brazillico 30 10 0 5 20:12 8
6. Pablicosta 13 3 4 8 13:24 -11
7. Indigo Islands 12 4 0 11 13:23 -10
8. Steves Island 12 3 3 9 7:26 -19
9. Hawcoat 8 2 2 11 4:21 -17
10.Largent 6 1 3 11 7:33 -26[/code:1:3d7ffd63f2]

Morales: Just a reminder, don't miss out on the Harmony Cup, brought to you by Hareida Breweries, where eight to ten teams will battle it out for the second most prestigious award in international football, the Golden Keg.

Indigo: Of course, that Golden Keg is filled to the brim with crisp, cool, refreshing Hareida Gold and if it were to be filled with say... Burung Bud Brew, I'm sure it would only be about the fifth most prestigious reward in International football.

Morales: Enough talk about the Harmony Cup, Brazillico isn't eliminated yet, so let's take a look at the Consolidated Foodmarts Scores Report.

[code:1:3d7ffd63f2]
CONSOLIDATED FOODMARTS
SCORES REPORT

Brazillico 2 Hawcoat 0
Largent 0 Halfassedstates 3
Pablicosta 3 Indigo Islands 2
Steves Island 1 Nikea 1
Total n Utter Insanity 1 Aquilla 0[/code:1:3d7ffd63f2]

Indigo: Halfassedstates continued their domination of Group 2 with a 3-0 pounding over Largent, while Pablicosta and Indigo Islands duked it out to an scintallating 3-2 final in the "Toilet Bowl".

Morales: Did I hear someone say Toilet Bowl? You know what I like to clean my toilet bowl with?

Indigo: I have no idea, Diego?

Morales grabs a white bottle from under the desk with LAVATORY LIQUIDATOR on the label. He convieniantly places it on the front of the desk between himself and the camera.

Morales: I choose Lavatory Liquidator toilet cleaner. Nothing gets out those stubborn urine and feces stains quite like Lavatory Liquidator.

Indigo: Great point you make there Diego, but we can see some important developments if we look at our Consolidated Foodmarts Scores Report.

Morales: Really, what would those be?

Indigo: Well, according to the Consolidated Foodmarts Scores Report, Nikea only managed a 1-1 draw with Steve's Island and Aquilla succombed 1-0 to TnUI.

Morales: Great news for the Bats fans!

Indigo: Especially if we consider our Harieda Breweries Group 2 Table, when we see that Brazillico has pulled even with Aquilla and three points within third placed Nikea.

Morales: That's great, now let's take a look at Brazillico's remaing schedule, proudly brought to you by Mick's House of Porn , where at Mick's, "They're Hard to the Core".

[code:1:3d7ffd63f2]
MICK’S HOUSE OF PORN
REMAINING MATCHES

Brazillico @ Nikea
Brazillico v. Steve’s Island
Brazillico @ Aquilla[/code:1:3d7ffd63f2]

Indigo: Wow, according to the Mick's House of Porn schedule, Brazillico have to face both Aquilla and Nikea. They pretty much control their own destiny.

Morales: Not quite, according to the Hareida Breweries Group 2 Tables, Brazillico has a pitiful goal differencial, but if they could win the remainder of their matches, they would certainly put themselves in a promising position.

Indigo: Not bad for a squad who was left for dead after the Halfassedstates match.

Morales: Dead, interesting you mention that Mike, because when I have loved ones who are dead, I go to Flaherty Farms Funeral Homes. With over 84 locales scattered all over Brazillico, Flaherty Farms is Brazillico's biggest and best provider for all you post-mortem needs...

Someone in the room finally says "Screw It", gets up and changes the channel. Even though the remote is hidden in some unknown crevasse throughout the living space, watching this shameless parade of advertisements on a sports information show is simply too much to take.

Audioslavia

07-04-2004, 19:34

The Lion ***King
'Slaves screw Lion's in Qualifying race

Audioslavia's narrow 1-0 victory all but booked them a place in World Cup 13, but has put Bedistan's team in a real struggle.

The game itself was mostly scrappy with neither side taking advantage until the seventieth minute, where a hashed Karina Kucharski clearance fell to Jordan on the edge of the box. The tricky Audioslavian pulled the ball back and dummied a cross, squaring the ball for Jenneson who's through ball was converted by a stumbling Aaron O`Malley.

Bedistan had one very good chance near the end, with substitute Nathan Cooke getting in front of Reid for a cross, but heading his effort to close to Jones.

Final Score
Audioslavia 1 (O`Malley 70)
Bedistan 0

[code:1:89ab18a566]
Group 10
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Audioslavia 37 12 1 2 28: 6 22
2. Dennisov 32 10 2 3 24:12 12
3. Bedistan 29 8 5 2 22: 6 16
4. Avenging Altos 29 9 2 4 29:15 14
5. Iansisle 22 6 4 5 14:13 1
6. NEWI Cefn Druids 21 6 3 6 16:17 -1
7. Magnus Valerius 18 4 6 5 15:18 -3
8. Fahigland 11 3 2 10 6:28 -22
9. Free Radicals of Mu-Mu 6 1 3 11 7:23 -16
10.Resistencia 5 1 2 12 5:28 -23
[/code:1:89ab18a566]

Audioslavia are now all but qualified, five points clear, needing only two points to be absoloutely certain of qualifying. Dennisov in second have been solid enough in the final stages to place themselves second, a good three points ahead of the pack, although they'll need to keep their form over the coming games to be sure of a place.

Bedistan's 1-0 loss to Audioslavia and Avenging Altos' impressive away defeat of NEWI Cefn Druids has put the two sides neck-and-neck as we go into the final games. Bedistan are higher by virtue of a better goal difference, but if AA can make up those two goals they'll have an advantage due to their scoring seven more goals than the Lions. That 6-0 win over Fahigland certainly came in handy...

Iansisle's failure to beat Magnus Valerius has all but put them out of the qualifying race. Facing a seven point gap with only nine possible points to gain, the side will need a miracle to qualify. NEWI Cefn Druids' loss to AA has put them further behind, also needing a win in each game, by a hefty margin each, to progress.

Magnus Valerius finally get the big 'E' next to their name as a result of their failure to beat Iansisle. They can take some solice in their good performance in that match and against some of the bigger sides, the a big improvement is needed if they want to make any sort of impact in future years.

In the lower reaches of the table, Fahigland showed themselves to be one of the better n00b teams in their 2-1 defeat of The Free Radicals of Mu-Mu, who themselves remain in ninth place after only one win in fifteen games. Resistencia, as usual, are propping up the table, being beaten 3-1 by Dennisov today.

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake. g'nite bitches

The Eagles Nest

07-04-2004, 23:16

Strike Birds One Win From Qualifying

Birds win 4-0, Mattigool loses 1-0

A flurry of goals as the offense came alive today at Fortuna Prospera gave the Birds three critical points coming down the stretch and put them one win or one mattigool loss away from qualifying.

Horace continued his ways from the match against Mattigool and let one fly (the ball, come on guys) that took a great bounce and just got inside the left post to take a 1-0 lead. Forward Brady Brillen, quiet much of this cup had a chance coming a few minutes later as a header by Josh Adams was changed into a soft pass and Brillen tapped it in for a 2 goal lead.

At half time, the CH-Mattigool score was posted, and the Nest knew they had to put the pressure on to ensure the win. However, the Fortuna Propsera offense actually gave the Nest defense a great challenge as they counterattacked beautifully. However, Horace again let one fly, and as the FP defense passed out, he walked the ball to the net and scored again. Adams closed out the scoring with a trademark header over a woozy goalkeeper.

Coach Aefnen on the standings.

"We need 2 points to clinch, but you know what? we want to win these next three games, hope Gesamtkuntswerk loses a couple and we can win this group. We aren't satisfied with second."

Strike Josh Adams on Horace's Play.

"What a great coup...he's scored 4 goals in 3 games, he's a great goalkeeper, but his footwork is amazing. We'll need that footowrk these next three games."

MatchDay 15 Recap

Well, let's start out with the scores:

Anti-Nazis 1 Gesamtkuntswerk 2
Fortuna Prospera 0 The Eagles Nest 4
Mattigool 0 Commerce Heights 1
Mordecei 0 Gleam Street 1
Vozvyshennost 1 Formula One Racing 1

With the CH win and the Nest win, the group looks almost finalized as the Nest needs 2 points, and CH needs 4 points...or a win and a Mattigool tie or loss. Mattigool has an easy game next up against Gleem Street but then has to host group leader Gesamtkuntswerk the same day that Commerce Heights and the Strike Birds fight for second place.

Matchday 17 should resolve all questions about this group.

[code:1:6117ed7dc2]
MatchDay 15 Standings
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
Q Gesamtkuntswerk 15 12 3 0 23 4 19 39 48
2 The Eagle's Nest 15 10 3 2 24 6 18 33 42
3 Commerce Heights 15 9 4 2 21 6 15 31 40
4 Mattigool 15 8 2 5 17 12 5 26 35
5 Anti-Nazis 15 6 5 4 20 12 8 23 32
6 Vozvyshennost 15 6 4 5 17 11 6 22 31
E Formula One Racing 15 3 3 9 6 17 -11 12 21
E Fortuna Prospera 15 3 2 10 6 24 -18 11 20
E Gleam Street 15 1 4 10 3 23 -20 7 16
E Mordecei 15 0 4 11 4 26 -22 4 13
[/code:1:6117ed7dc2]

The Eagle's Nest WCXIII Qualifying Campaign
Eagle's Nest @ Gleam Street Win 2-0
Eagle's Nest v. Mordecei Win 1-0
Eagle's Nest @ Gesamtkuntswerk Loss 0-3
Eagle's Nest v. Mattigool Win 2-1
Eagle's Nest @ Formula One Racing Win 2-0
Eagle's Nest v. Fortuna Prospera Win 3-0
Eagle's Nest @ Vozvyshennost Win 1-0
Eagle's Nest v. Commerce Heights Tie 0-0
Eagle's Nest @ Anti-Nazis Tie 0-0

Eagle's Nest v. Gleam Street Win 1-0
Eagle's Nest @ Mordecei Win 3-0
Eagle's Nest V. Gesamtkuntswerk Loss 1-2
Eagle's Nest @ Mattigool Win 4-0
Eagle's Nest v. Formula One Racing Tie 0-0
Eagle's Nest @ Fortuna Prospera Win 4-0
Eagle's Nest v. Vozvyshennost
Eagle's Nest @ Commerce Heights
Eagle's Nest v. Anti-Nazis

Gesamtkuntswerk

08-04-2004, 01:20

Gesamtkuntswerk

08-04-2004, 01:21

Gesamtkuntswerk tops Anti-Nazis, Qualifies for WCXIII

Keeping its undefeated record strong, the Gesamtkuntswerk Sturms took a great step towards obtaining the cup today when they bested Team Anti-Nazis in a 2-1 victory. Padraig O Maillé headed up the spearhead assault in the first half, both scoring and assisting in the first half to secure a 2-0 lead over the AN. A major error in the second half resulted in a minor injury for midman Nicol Ard-Righ (benching him for the rest of the game), but allowed for an AN forward to slip in a goal. The Sturms consolidated its defensive efforts, and kept the game at a 2-1 victory for the rest of the game.

This game ensured the Sturms passage to the next round of competition, as well as confirming its position at the top of the group. While some fear an early qualification will loose the Sturms' efforts to play at their peak, O Maillé commented "We're going to go all the way this year. The team's playing tight, the coaches are pushing us hard, and no matter what happened today, we're still in a competition with others, as well as ourselves. God has blessed us with our gifts, but we have to maximize our development in these next couple of games to ensure we'll come out on top in the next round."

The Sturms have three more games to play before the qualifying rounds are completed. Eagle's Nest trails the Sturms by six points, and four other teams are still in fierce competition to secure the other qualifying positions.

Eauz

08-04-2004, 03:44

Les Bleus not welcome in Just an Egg

The last time these two teams met, was in Zuka, as Les Bleus hosted Just an Egg. Flashing back to that match, most of the fans, and the stadium was mocking Just an Egg's team with so many egg heads and such.

Tonights match though is different, as the fans showd up in large numbers, to boo Les Bleus, and sent their hatred message for what their fans did. This problem has become so bad, that they have had to pause the match at the 34th minute to calm down the fans. Some fans have been arrested, and others are calming down. The match will hope to continue in the next 10 minutes.

Summary of the match after the game (if it continues)

Eauz

08-04-2004, 04:05

Things not improving

The problem has turned into a major problem, and the authorities have decided to move the match to another stadium, without fans inside. The fans have become uncontrollable, and fans are even getting on the field. Les Bleus and 'Just an Egg' will take a 30 minute ride to another stadium and continue the match there.

Asking 'Just an Egg's' coach about the situation, he said: “This is embarrassing. I can't believe we have such horrible fans. What the fans of Eauz did was just for fun. This is ridiculous and the fans should be ashamed of themselves. All I want to do is finish this match, and get on with life. I love my job, but I think the fans take their game way too seriously.”

The coach for Les Bleus said: “Oh well, this is football, and it’s getting to the end of the qualifying round, and fans are madder that their team did not qualify, and that there are more things going on. What can we do? We will just go play on another field, and things will be over. I hope this doesn’t bother the tourism of this country, because it is a good place.

Eauz

08-04-2004, 04:05

Melmond

08-04-2004, 04:26

Melmond Football Footnotes
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Good:Melmond gains privelege of hosting the Cup of Harmony
Officials from Snub Nose 38 just announced this morning that the United Postmodernist States of Melmond has been given the right to host this year's Cup of Harmony. Melmond Football Association Princess Tasa Seegwun had this to say "This is a big boost for the sport of football here in Melmond, they will get the chance to see the best of the rest. Also we have the chance to impress the WCC so we can possibly get a World Cup here in Melmond." The Cup of Harmony is basically the NIT of NationStates Football. It is a tournament for nations who did not qualify for the World Cup 13 Final. It gives teams a chance to continue to improve their ranking, get some trophies, and have more RP fun.
Here is the link.....non-qualifiers and bubble teams sign up!!!

Cup of Harmony Thread (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=137675)

Bad:Melmond Forced to Cancel Friendly Match in Snub Nose 38
Originally, scheduling this friendly was a way to show gratitude for their statistical output. However, the Melmond Football Association got word that the entire Hooligan team is made up of ghosts, phantoms, and other apparations and is afraid for their safety. Tasa Seegwun said that, "This may be Snub Nose 38's best team ever, and we may have a frightened fan who may instinctively cast a HRM3 spell and kill the whole Hooligan squad, not that they weren't dead already...but they couldn't play football again if that happened. So basically we are doing a favor for them."

Ugly:Paul "Edgy" Shields Suspended for Quite a While
Paul "Edgy" Shields, a veteran defender with a short temper, loved in Melmond, reviled everywhere else, received his suspension for his high tackle which broke Tanah Burung striker Theys Eluay's leg to the point where his career may be in jeopardy. Shields is suspened for the rest of WC 13 qualifying, the Cup of Harmony, and the first half of WC 14 qualifying. Upon hearing the length of the suspension, Tanah Burung manager Jose Ruak was livid, "Are you kidding me!! A future star may never play again and this goon will be back next year!!! He should be barred for life!" The WCC cited the fact that it was in the heat of competition and although there was intent to injure, it was not a cheap shot a la Todd Bertuzzi in the earthly National Hockey League.

Kerla

08-04-2004, 04:42

Kerlan News Network (KNN)

Kerla's News

Jill Numbnuts here in Abbott in which the Union won 1-0 against Hazatak. The defense was always superd as John Middleton made 23 saves. He made some brillans stops and keep Hazatak scoreless. With only a few more games left it looks like the Union will qualify for World Cup 13. This looks good for them. The defense has been great and been unpenatrable. Once again the defense was top as they stopped the Hazatak attack. Head coach Jim Young said that he expects this to be a great year for the Union. We hope that this is.

With the Union being so close to Belmorian Scandinavia and Oddslavo there is a chance that they might not make it. Of course this seems very slim with the way that the team has done. The loss to Belmorian Scandinavia was big and might hurt them. However if they continue to win they do not have to worry about it. Well we hope that we can watch them further then they are right now.

Oglethorpia

08-04-2004, 05:48

Les Bleus not welcome in Just an Egg

"They're not welcome here either!" shouted one anti-Eauzian Oglethorpian Wonderteam fan, capitalizing on the chance to make clear his dis-taste of Oglethorpia's northwestern neighbors.

---

OOC: All in good fun, Eauz :D

Antaeus Rising

08-04-2004, 06:40

Welcome to WHAF [What's Happening Around FIFA]

Today we focus on The Belmore Family. They are currently planning something big, and to tell us about it we have Mr Alan Belmore, Chief Designer for the project and Mr Alan Belmore, Chief Engineer for the project.

Good Morning Alan

Alans: Good Morning

Could you tell us a bit more about this project?

Alan: Well, because of all the extremist capitalistic country that we are surrounded by we have decided to do what they did back in the day, build an iron curtain.

I see.

Alan: And if that fails there is always the backup plan.

What's that?

Alan: Airlift the country someplace else.

And how are you gonna achieve that?

Alan: Helicopters, a whole bunch of em. Just rip the land off the Earth and put it down someother place.

I'm glad to see you have thought this through. Well that's all we have got time for today, join us again soon.

Lovebug

08-04-2004, 07:24

LOVEBUG DAILY UPDATE PAGE

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/lovebug.jpg

The Group and Rankings

[code:1:2f2bae8540]
Group 5

Aserjin 0 Snub Nose 38 0
Compound Interest 0 Warnocks Wizards 0
Dance 2 Revolution 1 Vilita 0
Lovisa 5 Lovebug 1
The Lowland Clans 0 The Belmore Family 1

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Snub Nose 38 39 12 3 0 30: 4 26
2. Warnocks Wizards 31 9 4 2 14: 4 10
3. The Lowland Clans 27 9 0 6 25: 8 17
4. The Belmore Family 27 9 3 3 16: 7 9
5. Dance 2 Revolution 24 6 6 3 12: 8 4
6. Lovisa 21 6 3 6 14:14 0
7. Aserjin 12 2 6 7 4:17 –13 ELIMINATED
8. Lovebug 11 3 2 10 12:28 -16 ELIMINATED
9. Vilita 8 2 2 11 4:21 -17 ELIMINATED
10.Compound Interest 6 1 3 11 5:25 –20 ELIMINATED
[/code:1:2f2bae8540]

TODAY'S MATCHUP - FEATURES LOVEBUG & LOVISA

A MESSAGE FROM THE LNSNN - Apau Ka inoa O aloha, ho'okahi wa hou Ka inoa O aloha!
Keonimakaio http://espn.starwave.com/i/talent/madden/head.jpg and Kanielapakelika http://espnradio.espn.go.com/i/columnists/patrick_dan_c.jpg here from Lovisa’s National stadium as the Lovisian team just finished what would be a massacre “figuratively not literally” of Lovebug’s team.

Keonimakaio – Yes, from the get go it appeared that the Bulldog’s didn’t stand a chance, although spirit wise the team seemed in a surprisingly good mood despite all the tough losses this season. They went out on the field to practice, smiling and happy. Smiles, that lasted as Lovisa continued to rack up points on the scoreboard. Personally I don’t really see what they have to smile about: they didn’t qualify; they have lost 2/3 of their games this season – I mean come on people my grandmother could have scored more than these guys.

Kanielapakelika – Well, in all fairness to the team it is their first international competition, this is their first tournament and they are in a veritable powerhouse of a grouping that includes the current, recently selected WCC president Snub Nose 38, as well as the highly known and respected Belmore Family. I think the team has shown potential and with practice, 3 games left in this tournament, and I just heard that they have signed up for the Harmony cup – they might actually have a shot at WC 14. Queen ShyButterfly has also authorized construction on a new sports complex on the island of Klassis, one of the Varkland Islands, part of the Archipelago of Lovebug in preperation for a hosting bid for WC 15 or 16, which will be a great benefit to the team. And hopefully, we might see us drawn into a more evenly matched grouping for WC 14.

Keonimakaio – Maybe your right – I don’t know, anyway I do know that Lovisa started off the match-up with two quick scores made in the first 10 minutes of the match up, making all the Bulldog fan’s in attendance turn their heads away in shame. Well next thing you know Orca "Flipper" Whalters, a Lovebug right mid-fielder is making his way down the field, he makes an attempt at the goal – when what I can only can call a freak occurrence of unexplainable energy drove the ball up into the stands, knocking out one of Lovisa’s most obnoxious fans. After the game the Lovebug team made a formal apology to the fan and offered to pay any medical bills, and offered him lessons in learning to DUCK WHEN A RATHER LARGE BALL IS FLYING AT GREAT SPEED TOWARDS ONES FACE. Orca was made to sit out the rest of the game, yet he didn’t really seem bothered by this and sat on the bench for the rest of game with a nice smile on his face.
http://www.football-rumours.com/images/aimar3.jpg (Photo From Stock)

Kanielapakelika – Yes that was quite a strange occurrence, I still can’t quite figure out how it happened but… anyhow…that was to be the end of the first half, I hoped that we would be able to come back in the second half as Lovisa was only ahead by 2 points, well that didn’t last long. They scored two more goals within 20 minutes, the last one just barely squeezing by goalie Bear "the Claw" Woods http://www.football-rumours.com/images/frankdeboer.jpg (Photo From Stock). With 10 minutes left on the clock it wasn’t about winning because it was virtually impossible to do at that point but Lovebug continued to try to score, Berell "Sharp Eye" Collins
http://www.football-rumours.com/images/vaart2.jpg (Photo From Stock)
managed to make it all the way to within feet of the goal before being knocked hard to the ground by one of Lovisa’s defenders. He was of course given a penalty kick, not that it much mattered, but he managed to get it in anyway making the only score of the game. Lovisa came back to score once more making the final score LOVISA 5 – LOVEBUG 1.

Keonimakaio – All in all in was a sad day for sports fans in Lovebug. That’s all for now, this has been your LNSNN daily update I’m Keonimakaio saying good night until tomorrow when we will be home to play Compound Interest. Apau Ka inoa O aloha, ho'okahi wa hou Ka inoa O aloha!

TOMMOROW'S MATCHUP - FEATURES LOVEBUG & COMPOUND INTEREST

Liverpool England

08-04-2004, 07:40

The World Cup Update - 2 Games to Go
Day 14 - Intelligent Madness [H]

An easy task. Should be easy to win, but given the team's recent form might prove a challenge. Prediction: Win by 2 goals

Final Score: Win 1-0 - Prediction not spot on, but the three points is good.

Day 15 - East Spaam [H]

A match which may inevitably decide third place and the final qualifying spot. The team won the first match away, and should be able to come away with the three points. Prediction: Win by 1 goal

Final Score: Win 1-0 - That's two 1-0s in a row, but prediction was absolutely correct.

Day 16 - Zephyrs [A]

Unknown team, except that they have already been eliminated. Prediction: Win by at least three goals

Score Prediction: 2-0 Final Score: 4-0. Great match which should lift team morale ahead of the big clash with Europa Brittania.

Day 17 - Europa Brittania [H]

The toughest test. First match lost 1-0 away, pretty respectable, but team will be without Mark Hearne Jr, suspended due to his red card against Eauz. Prediction: Win by 1 goal

Score Prediction: 2-1 or 3-2

Day 18 - The Redavic Union [A]

First match won 3-1 at home. Might be tough test. Prediction: Draw

Score Prediction: 1-1

Final Prediction: 13 points from 15
Final Points Tally Prediction: 27+13 = 40 out of 18*3 = 54
Final Prediction: Qualify in second.

Tadjikistan

08-04-2004, 10:20

Tadjiks make a nice trip to the Redavic Union

It was a very nice trip indeed that ended with a Tadjik victory over the Redavic Union, 6600 supporters joined the Tadjik team as they played their match. The Tadjik supporters acted like a 12th man for the team, some people who could only follow the match on radio though there wer alteast 15.000 Tadjiks.
With their 12th man the players got new hope and started the match good with some nice combinations, The Redavics defended their goal as best as they could and kept the Tadjiks away in the first half. In the second half Isserson placed Khetagurov on the field, for whom it was second time he played in these qualifications. So it was a good oppertunity to show what he could do. Isserson made a good choice putting Khetagurov in, in the 62th minute he made the only goal of the match, a straight shot from 40m away. Probably the nicest shot we've seen in all the matches of Tadjikistan.

So Tadjikistan keeps adding points to its total, they are eliminated but Isserson keeps experimenting as he did with Khetagurov. The coach believes this is the best way to prepare for future tournaments and matches gaining experience with different setups. Experience that could lead to a better result in the next WC-qualifications, where Isserson hopes to fight for more than just honour, depending on the group they will be in.

Tadjikistan

08-04-2004, 10:27

Tadjik supporters confident
Les Bleus not welcome in Just an Egg

"They are always welcome in Tadjikstan" a Tadjik supporter yelled at the journalist who spread the news that Eauz was not welcome in Just an Egg. When asked why the supporter said "We got beaten the first time, we tied the second time and i'm sure that we'll win the third time" Waving his flag he yelled "WE'LL BEAT YOU NEXT TIME, BLUEBOYS!". Well, the people have spoken.

Kaze Progressa

08-04-2004, 10:37

Kicked Off

The Progressair Stadium is waterlogged by the tears of fans as a 0-0 draw with Gaddland virtually eliminates them.

Chants of fans: WE'RE HASH N BEANS IN DISGUISE *clap clap clap* [repeat endlessly]

A woman in Stats Progressa uniform appears in an executive box and speaks over the tannoy.

Woman: I can't... bear to edit the data like this... my sister Margito apologises for... all she's done to the national team... I guess we should start playing real football... not random number crap...

This stream-of-consciousness rant lasts about five minutes. The fans boo her as she leaves.

Fans: WE BLAME MARGARET! WE BLAME MARGARET!

The Hitlist
Margaret
My stats obsession
Hash n Beans
The 'Progressanification' of IRL names

Spaam

08-04-2004, 10:39

United Spaam Sports Weekly

The Infamous Magazine Returns In Colour!

Spaam Gets Their Revenge Yet Again

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/alex_the_tall.jpg VS http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/spaam.jpg

This game can best be described, by providing the transcript of the broadcast of this match by Sports At Ten callers, Tom Katt and Derri Moss:

Tom: And welcome back to the match, we are
entering the second half, and Spaam are up one goal to nil in Alex The
Tall.

Derri: They are playing like champions here, and
seem intent on getting revenge for the draw that Alex inflicted them at
home back in round seven. They want blooooood!

Tom: They certainly look like they're gonna get it
here as Meren accepts the ball from the kickoff and rushes towards the
goal, but Alex are improving their marking here.

Derri: They need to Tom, or they are going ot die
die die!

Tom: The ball passed over to Eromleb, but he is
certainly being hounded by Alexian defender Michael Jakson.

Derri: He'd better watch out, cos this kid will murder
him if he's not careful!

Tom: Spaam are really pushing for another goal, and
keeping the pressure on the Alexians, as Olisade makes a shot and!
Taken down.... Lebaie sends the ball down the pitch.

Derri: They certainly have guts these kids, lets
hope that they don't spill 'em, because that would be a mess to clean up.

Tom: Well, Finrod Súrion has taken the ball from Alex
captain Alex LeRouge, and he's pushing it back down the left side, to his
sister Elen, who beats her marker, she pushes it down to Meren Lûin, but
the players converge on her....

Derri: She gets it off to Eromleb though who shoots
and SCORES! Alex The Tall is being brutalised here! Smashed! Beaten
to a pulp!

Tom: Nala Eromleb gets his eighth goal of the
preliminary competition, and send Spaam up to an impressive two goals
to nil lead in the 52nd minute.

Derri: Pure dominance here! Bring out the whip
and leather, cos Alex The Tall is the bitch today!

....

Tom: The score is still two goals to nil here with just
two minutes to go, and Spaam have the ball near their goal.

Derri: They are really pushing here, pushing and
shoving and punching and I don't think Alex The Tall will come out alive in
the brutal match up, no siree!

Tom: Some fancy footwork there by Elen Súrion sees
her beat her marker Josephe Hart, which sees her rushing down the pitch
with Meren Lûin by her side, the two girls beating the rest of the players
and coming up against the goalkeeper Labaie and defender Bush....

Derri: Which player will Bush try to mark here? I
think they're gonna beat around the Bush here! Pummel into submission
as Elen tries to get into position to shoot the goal.

Tom: But she passes to Meren, she's open and GOAL!
She shoot and scores!

Derri: Well, thats it! Spaam have MURDERED Alex
The Tall here, ABUSED them, KILLED them, DOMINATED there, SPANKED
those naughty....

Tom: And there is the whistle! Spaam come up
trumps against Alex The Tall, three goals to nil.

Derri: Revenge is Spaam's, and they have trampled
all over the Alexians tonight.

Alex The Tall 0
Spaam 3
(Lûin 20, 91; Eromleb 52)

Spaam Qualify!

Spaam have qualified for the seventh World Cup, and their second in a row, confiming their route into Rejistania with an easy 3-0 away win
against Alex The Tall. This is Melá Sëhelin's 3rd straight preliminary competition as coach, and has now proven that she has turned around the
Spaamanian team, taking them to two World Cups and a third place qualifying playoff. With East Spaam now out of the preliminary
competition, Spaam have also shown that they are the dominant Spaamanian team, after over a decade of living in their neighbour's
shadows. The Evisceratomato Massacre of 12 years ago, which killed most of the talent in Spaam, is now a thing of the past, with a new breed
of talent in its prime. There is only one way to go now, and that is up.

Matchday Sixteen Review

There were no suprises as Aerigia hosted Kaze Progressa, going down 1-0, in a much needed win for Kaze, who need to win their remaining
games to have a chance of qualification. Gaddland hosted Praying2God in a thriller which saw the two teams drawn for the entire second half until a
Praying2God striker scored in injury time, to give the visitors a 3-2 victory. However, this was not enough for Praying2God, who are now
have no chance of qualification. Pablitopia shocked everyone by going to Oglethorpia and keeping the home team scoreless to walk away with a
0-0 draw. Finally, West Gaddland were dismal at home to give Runaway Moose a much needed 2-0 win, and put them just a win away from
qualification.

Spaam have now qualified and are safe at the top of the table on 36 points. Oglethorpia are trailing 3 points behind in second on 33 points in a
reminder of last World Cup's qualifiers, with Runaway Moose one point behind them in third. Alex The Tall are still in with a chance, but are 3
points further back, 4th on 29 points. Last years hosts Kaze Progressa also have a slim chance of qualification, but need to win their remaining
games; they are in 5th spot on 27 points. Praying2God have now been eliminated, but won't finish any lower, as they are 6 points ahead of 7th
position Gaddland who are on 19 points, and will finish in 7th place. West Gaddland, Pablitopia, and Aerigia are all fighting for the wooden spoon,
with Aerigia currently last on 5 points.

[code:1:4828f77065]Group 9 P W D L F A GD Pts
Spaam 16 11 3 2 33 10 +23 36
Oglethorpia 16 9 6 1 19 5 +14 33
Runaway Moose 16 10 2 4 27 13 +14 32
Alex The Tall 16 8 5 3 22 14 +8 29
Kaze Progressa 16 7 6 3 21 14 +7 27
Praying2God 16 7 4 5 21 16 +5 25
Gaddland 16 5 4 7 14 16 -2 19
West Gaddland 16 2 1 13 5 29 -24 7
Pablitopia 16 1 4 11 4 29 -25 7
Aerigia 16 0 5 11 1 21 -20 5
[/code:1:4828f77065]

Matchday Seventeen Preview

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/runaway_moose.jpg VS http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/spaam.jpg

Having already qualified for the World Cup, Spaam will be feeling none of the pressure, while Runaway Moose needs a win to guarantee
qualification. The last time these two teams met in round eight, Spaam came away winners at home in a thriller, the scoreline ending up 4 goals
to 2, with Meren Lûin saving the day for them. Runaway will have the home advantage this time, and will be looking for revenge, but they will
have to come up against a full strength Spaamanian team, which currently has the 4th best attack in the preliminary competition. Meren Lûin will be
playing, with an average of a goal every game, as well as Spaam greatest ever goalkeep, Alátari Súrion, who has let through just 7 goals in the past
15 games. Critics are predicting a 1 all draw.

Spaam's Qualifying Run So Far

[code:1:4828f77065]W: Spaam 2 Kaze Progressa 1
W: Praying2God 1 Spaam 2
W: Spaam 1 Gaddland 0
D: Aerigia 0 Spaam 0
L: Spaam 0 Oglethorpia 1
W: West Gaddland 0 Spaam 4
D: Spaam 1 Alex The Tall 1
W: Spaam 4 Runaway Moose 2
W: Pablitopia 0 Spaam 5
D: Kaze Progressa 1 Spaam 1
W: Spaam 3 Praying2God 0
W: Gaddland 0 Spaam 1
W: Spaam 2 Aerigia 0
L: Oglethorpia 3 Spaam 1
W: Spaam 3 West Gaddland 0
W: Alex The Tall 0 Spaam 3
[/code:1:4828f77065]

[code:1:4828f77065]No Name P G Avge
[2] Meren Lûin 15 15 1.00
[1] Nala Eromleb 12 8 0.67
[6] Eman Olisade 11 5 0.45
[7] Maddi Elrik 12 3 0.25
[13] Mark Zevlak 5 1 0.20
[12] Zarí Karskí 8 1 0.13
[4] Elen Súrion 15 1 0.07
[/code:1:4828f77065]

[code:1:4828f77065]No Name P G Avge
[3] Alátari Súrion 15 7 0.47
[14] Fin Dudek 1 3 3.00
[/code:1:4828f77065]

The Lowland Clans

08-04-2004, 10:46

ASNN - Lord Mackintosh Announces Resignation

Graham City, Scotland - Well, that was the last straw. Or so sayeth possibly the most important figure in the rise of Clan soccer. Todays defeat at the hands of the Snub Nose 38 Hooligans marked the end of the ONLY era in Clan soccer ever, with only the second manager the team has ever seen resigning after a heart breaking loss in the last minutes of the game.

In the post-game press conference, a tearful Mackintosh said that it was time for a change. "It's obvious right now that our team needs a shake up rather badly, and I think that it's time for me to go." Many players on the team merely started crying, unable to speak after Mackintosh made his announcement.

"It really is our fault," said star Captain Mark Jeremy, "We came into this cup thinking we owned the world, but we were not prepared for the challenges that arose from this cup." Many sports commentators are simply at a lack of words to explain everything. The performance of this teams' qualifying is merely impossible to explain except for bad luck.

Mackintosh's temporary replacement, defensive magnate Jeff McKay was speechless, except for a few cursory remarks about the team's hard work.

Many in the Allied States hope that this change will be shown in the game against Warnocks Wizards on saturday.

Giant Zucchini

08-04-2004, 10:55

Plaat concedes again, Mr Hurr declares state of emergency

The usual blurb...

Eauz

08-04-2004, 11:56

Le LIBRE

Unwelcome win

In a match that was not supposed to be anything special, turned ugly. As Les Bleus entered the field to play ‘Just an Egg’, things turned bad. The fans were already booing, and throwing things on the field. This was expected from crazy fans. The match started, and Ribocheau a mid-fielder for Les Bleus started a charge for Les Bleus, with Michel Louis kicking the ball over the net. As Les Bleus put more pressure on ‘Just an Egg’ the fans were becoming worse and worse. At the 34th minute of play, play stopped, and they waited for things to calm down. Nothing calmed down, so Les Bleus and ‘Just an Egg’ packed it up, and went to another stadium to play. The 6+ minutes were ignored, and they played the second half in an empty stadium.

The atmosphere was neutral, as Les Bleus and ‘Just an Egg’ started up the second match. So as to give Yeuseuv a rest, Rousoi, the second goalkeeper for Les Bleus was placed in net. He would prove to be just a helpful. During the 77th minute of play, Juan Walker broke through the defence, putting the ball past the goalkeeper, giving Les Bleus a 1 – 0 lead. Other than ‘Just an Eggs’ defence, their team was really not in it offensively at all, as Les Bleus went on to win 1 – 0.

After the match, the ownership of ‘Just an Egg’ apologized for the situation which had occurred. Things were all messed up, and it was all probably the atmosphere of the match. After the match, an official from Tadjikistan said that Eauz was always welcome in their country, and that they hoped to face Les Bleus a third time some day. (*maybe you will get a win the next time)

The next match for Les Bleus is at home against Gormith. The last time they met each other, Les Bleus blew Gormith out of the match, scoring 4 goals, going onto a 4 – 0 win. Gormith will be looking for revenge, and have beaten good teams like EB already, so don’t look for such a large win against, such as 4 – 0.

With only 2 matches left, the race is still tight for the top 3 positions, let’s look back on the predictions. Currently, Europea Brittania is in first, and that was predicted. Liverpool England is actually in third, with Eauz in second. Gormith is 5th followed by The Redavic Union. The predictions were ok, but there were a few surprises that were unexpected.

[code:1:6b4a294297]
Football Eauz Predictions:

Europa Brittania
Liverpool England
East Spaam
Eauz
Gormith
Tadjikistan
Zephyrs
The Redavic Union
Just an egg
Intelligent Madness
[/code:1:6b4a294297]

More to come later…

Round 1: Tadjikistan @ Eauz W 0 - 4
Round 2: Eauz @ Intelligent Madness W 4 - 0
Round 3: Liverpool England @ Eauz W 1 - 2
Round 4: Eauz @ Zephyrs W 2 - 0
Round 5: Europa Brittania @ Eauz L 1 - 0
Round 6: Eauz @ The Redavic Union W 2 - 0
Round 7: Just an egg @ Eauz W 0 - 1
Round 8: Eauz @ Gormith W 4 - 0
Round 9: East Spaam @ Eauz W 0 - 1
Round 10: Eauz @ Tadjikistan T 0 - 0
Round 11: Intelligent Madness @ Eauz W 0 - 4
Round 12: Eauz @ Liverpool England L 0 - 1
Round 13: Zephyrs @ Eauz W 0 - 2
Round 14: Eauz @ Europa Brittania W 2 - 1
Round 15: The Redavic Union @ Eauz T 1 - 1
Round 16: Eauz @ Just an Egg W 1 - 0
Round 17: Gormith @ Eauz
Round 18: Eauz @ East Spaam

[code:1:6b4a294297]
Group 8
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Europa Brittania 39 13 0 3 34: 7 27
2. Eauz 38 12 2 2 30: 5 25
3. Liverpool England 36 11 3 2 29: 8 21
4. East Spaam 28 9 1 6 26:14 12
5. Gormith 23 6 5 5 18:16 2
6. The Redavic Union 20 6 2 8 15:22 -7
7. Tadjikistan 20 5 5 6 13:23 -10
8. Intelligent Madness 10 2 4 10 8:31 -23
9. Just an egg 7 1 4 11 4:25 -21
10.Zephyrs 4 0 4 12 5:31 -26

[/code:1:6b4a294297]

Stats after 16 match days for Group 8:

Most Goals For: Europa Brittania (34)
Least Goals For: Just an Egg (4)
Most Goals against: Intelligent Madness (31)
Least Goals against: Eauz (5)
Most Wins: Europa Brittania (13)
Least Wins: Zephyrs (0)
Most Losses: Zephyrs (12)
Least Losses: Eauz, Liverpool England (2)
Highest Goal Difference: Europa Brittania (+27)
Lowest Goal Difference: Zephyrs (-26)

Liverpool England

08-04-2004, 12:05

BREAKING NEWS - more to come on these stories
Josh Hinar: Hello, you're watching breaking news. The manager who led Liverpool England to the World Cup in WC8 and third place in WC9 has died of a heart attack. Sir Jim Whites was 89. Meanwhile, one of the players who won the World Cup under Whites, Mark Hearne, is said to be looking to approach the Lowland Clans FA about the TLC international manager's job. It is not known if this will happen.

Jeruselem

08-04-2004, 14:23

TBF streaker double post ...

Jeruselem

08-04-2004, 14:23

Jeruselem Government News

Group 7 poised for thrilling finish

The Jeruselem Crusaders took revenge on GM Mark winning 2-1 to stop a losing steak, but is still 5th. Lemmitania failed win against cellar dweller New Cyprus with 0-0 draw to be even with Jeruselem on 30 points. CC won while leaders Antaeus Rising and Squornshelous playing 0-0 draw.

Last time Jeruselem played, GM Mark they crashed 4-0 to loose badly. GM Mark scored first in the 40th minute to give a scare to the Jeruselem who needed to win. Jeruselem scored goals in the 50th and 60th to gain the lead and fight off a counter-attack by GM Mark. For the next two games, securing at least one win is critical pending on possible losses to the other top 4 teams.

Group 7: Antaeus Rising 0 Squornshelous 0
Group 7: Creedence Clearwater 3 Jaegermeistria 0
Group 7: Jeruselem 2 Grand master Mark 1
Group 7: New Cyprus 0 Lemmitania 0
Group 7: The Republican Army 1 Haraki 2

[code:1:f9ffb8d17d]
Group 7
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Squornshelous 40 12 4 0 26: 6 20
2. Antaeus Rising 33 9 6 1 25: 7 18
3. Creedence Clearwater 32 10 2 4 27:14 13
4. Lemmitania 30 8 6 2 22: 9 13
5. Jeruselem 30 9 3 4 27:18 9
6. Grand master Mark 19 6 1 9 19:18 1
7. The Republican Army 18 6 0 10 15:24 -9
8. Haraki 10 2 4 10 7:30 -23
9. Jaegermeistria 8 1 5 10 7:25 -18
10.New Cyprus 3 0 3 13 6:30 -24
[/code:1:f9ffb8d17d]

Bedistan

08-04-2004, 15:26

The Bedistan Sports Digest

Moo
Lions march on to victory

MIDWAY -- 76,505 people came to watch the Bedistan Lions take on the Free Radicals of Mu-Mu at Parker National today. Officials say this turnout was rather disappointing in the team's time of need, but even with less than 60% of the seats filled, the home team still udderly [ed. - sorry, I couldn't resist] dominated the match.

Dr. Vu was the first player to light up the scoreboard after receiving a cross from Christian Hanway in the box, calmly kicking it into the net halfway through the first half. Besides that, the first half was quiet, with the Lions playing rather defensively and Mu-Mu failing to get any significant chances.

We interviewed team manager Johnny Lewis at the halftime break, asking him for his comments on the match so far.

"Well, this is all fine and dandy," said Lewis, "and any win is good. But in our current situation with the Altos, goal difference is very important. We have to get some offense going, and that's what I've been telling the team during the break."

This apparently worked, as the home side played much more aggressively in the second half. In the 60th minute, Morris McGarity took a long shot from 40 yards out and was surprised to find that it had gone in, putting his team up 2-0. Gil Vu finished it off with a header from an 84th-minute corner.

Other events in the group have officially eliminated Iansisle and the Druids, leaving it all about the top four. Despite Audioslavia's surprising draw with the Ians, they have all but locked up qualification. This means three teams -- Dennisov, Bedistan, and Avenging Altos -- will be battling it out for the final two slots. Dennisov can secure qualification with four points, while neither the Lions nor the Altos can do so at the moment. Luckily, though, the Altos only won their match 1-0, so we have widened the goal differential to four, which should come in handy. Our next match will be the toughest of the final three, an away match against the now-eliminated NEWI Cefn Druids.

In other news, manager Lewis has tentatively signed the team up for participation in the Cup of Harmony, "just in case".

Final score:
Bedistan 3 (Vu 22, 84; McGarity 60)
Free Radicals of Mu-Mu 0

Snub Nose 38

08-04-2004, 16:07

Fans: WE BLAME MARGARET! WE BLAME MARGARET!

*we are deep in the bowels of the ministry of defense, offense, and cucumbers. the windowless room is washed with dim blue light. additional light stabs out at the darkness from banks of monitors, radar screens, and two large clear strategy maps that are back-lit. the room is a time-motion study in organized chaos. it is eerily quiet. there is a conversation going on in one corner of the room - the participants all have bunches of shiny stuff on their collars and shoulders and hats. they all look very serious, and very self-important.*

- Yes, General Practitioner, sir, it happened again.
- I can't believe it! Colonel, did you send them the warning message?
- No, sir. The Minister of Athletics, Olympics, and Alcoholic Beverages did so at a Press Conference.
- Was there no direct contact between the Kaze Progressan Defense Forces and us?
- No, Field Marshall. Intelligence thought the Minister's announcement was sufficient, and additional contact might be thought a threat.
- Well, bloody flippin'...it was a threat! Who in Intel made that decision?
- Major Miner, sir.
- Not to intelligent of Intelligence.
- Get that twit over here. Tell 'im he better have a series of good reasons, or he's gonna leave this desk as Private Miner.
- ...Yes, sir.

*toddles off on the assigned mission to find and deliver major miner*

- We need a plan. Anybody got a spare plan?
- Well, General, we do have this one left over from the time Lemmitania was going to invade us with a shoe. Or was it a boot?
- Who wrote it?
- Captain Homer Simpson.
- ...
- It's the only spare plan we've got, sir.
- Oh, come on, General. It can't be that bad - after all, this Simpson character did manage to get promoted to Captain.
- Field Marshall Mallow, Homer Simpson is a favorite nephew of The Guy Currently In Charge Of Stuff For The Frost-Free Borderlands Of Snub Nose 38.
- ...
- Exactly.
- Have the troops been assembled?
- Both of them are at the ready, Field Marshall.
- All right, then. We'll just review this plan. Where is it?
- Down in the 4th sub-basement, in the National Security vault, in a safe, with a chain pad-locked around it.
- Is this a cartoon? Have somebody go fetch it.
- Aye, sir. You there - go fetch the plan for Operation Best Foot Forward.
- On the way, General.
- ...So, how about them Hooligans?
- They're something else, aren't they!
- Yeah. Ghosts, or something, I think.
- No, sir, I mean...well...
- Oh! I see. Yup. Won again today, didn't they?
- They did, against The Lowland Clans. It was a squeeker, but they managed it.
- What happened?
- The first half went by scoreless. I mean, there were some good chances created, and a couple of good shots on goal, by both sides. But no score.
- Did the Cheerleaders...?
- Sheriff of Remington County arrested them for the 15th time this year. It took stadium staff 20 minutes to clean up the rotten vegetables, eggs, small animals and various household appliances the crowd chucked at 'em.
- Heh heh!
- Anyway, the second half was going just like the first when a Lowland Clanner blocked a clearance by the Phantom Hooligan keeper and slipped it sideways cross field to a team mate, who only had to give it a little tap, and in it went. One to zip, TLC in the 79th minute.
- But you said the Hooligans won.
- They did. Scored two goals inside a minute. On the scorecard both were scored in the 86th minute. Horatio and Malicious.
- Here's Major Miner, sir.
- Yes...look here, Major - what possessed you NOT to contact Kaze Progressa and demand an apology, with the threat of invasion looming, as ordered?
- Er...well...um...
- Spit it out, boy!
- Sir - we lost their address.
- ...
- ...
- ...
- We are so sorry, sir.
- You are in such deep...I strongly suggest you get out of my sight.

*major (possibly private) miner is suddenly gone*

- Got the plan right here, Field Marshall!
- Let's have a look.

*the plan is carefully laid out on the desk everyone is gathered around. they read it*

"Go to the border. Cross the border. Beat them. Come home."

- Okay, then...back to the drawing board.

------------------------------
edit - ooc: it is important to know that 1 troop = 1 soldier

Halfassedstates

08-04-2004, 17:03

Sowhatsville News

Hurricane run finally confirms qualification

It took an 85th minute goal from sub Adam Marks to finally kill off a stubborn Pablicosta side and confirm Halfassed's place in the 13th WC finals.

Carl Smith's 6th minute strike had give the Hurricanes exactly the start they hoped for, but on a blustery day, neither side seemed able to control the ball for long enough to dominate the game. A full house of 78,000 turned out at the Glade in Aso to see if the Hurricanes could make it to their 8th successive finals, but apart from the early strike, they had little to cheer in a dull first half.

The second half picked up a bit after the Pablicostian #10 rattled Jennungs crossbar in the 61st minute. The biggest cheer of the day went up when local boy Smith made his way off the park to be replaced by Marks with just 20 minutes remaining. Marks shot in the closing minutes was what then confirmed the Halfassed progressian to the finals.

With just two games left in the qualifying, the Hurricanes have a chance to equal the national record for games unbeaten, which currently stands at 15 during WC10. If they manage that, the side will be assured top spot in the group. There is however the little matter of the remaining places that are still up for grabs. With TnUI hosting Halfassed in the next game, and Aquilla and Brazillico meeting in the final week, everything is still to be played for.

But in the meantime, congratulations to the Hurricanes!

Lovebug

08-04-2004, 17:42

LOVEBUG DAILY UPDATE PAGE

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/lovebug.jpg

The Group and Rankings

[code:1:995ae3ff4f]
Group 5

Lovebug 1 Compound Interest 2
Snub Nose 38 2 The Lowland Clans 1
The Belmore Family 1 Dance 2 Revolution 0
Vilita 0 Lovisa 2
Warnocks Wizards 3 Aserjin 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Snub Nose 38 42 13 3 0 32: 5 27
2. Warnocks Wizards 34 10 4 2 17: 4 13
3. The Belmore Family 30 10 3 3 17: 7 10
4. The Lowland Clans 27 9 0 7 26:10 16
5. Dance 2 Revolution 24 6 6 4 12: 9 3
6. Lovisa 24 7 3 6 16:14 2
7. Aserjin 12 2 6 8 4:20 -16
8. Lovebug 11 3 2 11 13:30 -17
9. Compound Interest 9 2 3 11 7:26 -19
10.Vilita 8 2 2 12 4:23 -19
[/code:1:995ae3ff4f]

TODAY'S MATCHUP - FEATURES LOVEBUG & COMPOUND INTEREST

A MESSAGE FROM THE LNSNN - Apau Ka inoa O aloha, ho'okahi wa hou Ka inoa O aloha!
Keonimakaio http://espn.starwave.com/i/talent/madden/head.jpg here from LNSNN studios in the heart of Alohakulanakauhale (capital city of Lovebug).

Keonimakaio – Hello, I’m Keonimakaio here in the Studio my partner Kanielapakelika is out today, his oldest daughter Euleleise is getting married. As for the game, what a disappointment, just when it looked as if Lovebug had a chance to pick up at least a point, it all fell apart. Both teams remained scoreless until the second half when http://www.football-rumours.com/images/brendonsantalab.jpg captured the ball and raced towards the goal, one swift kick to the right and SCORE, Lovebug puts a point on the board. Lovebug’s goalie Robin "Swift" Birde
http://www.football-rumours.com/images/paulrobinsonleeds.jpg managed to fend of all attempts by Compounds’ players. There was two minutes left on the clock, the Bulldog fans were up on their feet, ready to cheer their teams first victory since… Round Seven when we last faced Compound Interest…when out of no where Trevor Luther, Compound Interest’s midfielder comes up with ball and within the last seconds got one by Birde. We were tied, it came down to the kick off, and 5 players from each team stepped up, the final Lovebug player Panda "The Bear" Bamboor
http://www.football-rumours.com/images/takahara5.jpg missed his shot, so it was down to Robin to save the day, Samuel Moon, a forward for Compound Interest stepped up, and no… it was his patented, moon bounce kick, it was over, it was all over. Compound Interest pulls it out at the last possible moment scoring 2-1 against the Bulldog’s. Another heartbreaking loss for this team, there is really nothing else to say about this tragedy… so until tomorrow Apau Ka inoa O aloha, ho'okahi wa hou Ka inoa O aloha! We will see you tomorrow in Aserjin.

TOMMOROW'S MATCHUP - FEATURES LOVEBUG & ASERJIN

Compound interest

08-04-2004, 18:41

Location: The CIFA Headquarters in Capital City*, Compound Intererst
Persons: The CIFA CEO and the Chief of Marketing. They prefer their titles over their real names or even identifiers.
CEO: ...and this flop about the Nationals...
CoM: Is no flop! They are performing extremly bad, but that doesn't mind!
CEO: Why doesn't it mind?
CoM: What do you prefer? A team which loses each game and makes millions for you or a team which wins the cup and produces high financial losses?
CEO: That is no question, the first. of course.
CoM: That is good, we make high amounts of money on every loss. Insurances, and broadcasting rights...
CEO: Who wants to see losses?
CoM: In Abysmalistan, people are yearning for them.
CEO: Why?
CoM: Because Abysmalis like losing. In the abysmali domestic league, the best team gets relegated.
CEO: Crazy people, these Abysmalis!
CoM: They are crazy, yes. They don't have a national team, because in their attempts to play on international level they actually won some games. The national team was dissolved due to 'too not-bad results'. Also Kaze Progressa is highly interested in our games.
CEO: Kaze? They have their own team.
CoM: They want to see that there are teams even worse than theirs.
CEO: That means we profit from every loss?
CoM: Yes.
(The mobile phone of the CEO rings, John Marc, the Interestian coach is calling)
CEO: CEO of CIFA.
JM: John Marc here, great news from the match against Lovebug! (he can't conceal his pleasure) We WON 2-1!
CEO: bugger!

* Don't think that Capital City is the actual capital of Compound Interest, that is Profit City.

Melmond

08-04-2004, 19:42

Music and Magic
Alpha Commune Able to Tie Melmond After Sacrificing One of Its Own Players to the Commie Gods
By Ian Oioi of the Faasen Times

FAASEN, MELMOND—One word can describe this match for Melmond: disappointing. This game was supposed to be the easy blowout win of them all, taking on cellar dwellers Alpha Commune at home. They have just emerged from a road match in Ravenspire with a tie. Ravenspire is the first place team in the group and the Fearless Farmers didn’t even have their best player Critandi Unne. Critandi Unne came back to the team in this game and the Fearless Farmers were ready to dominate.
On the other side of the pitch, the Paranoid Pinkos of Alpha Commune were doing a bizarre ritual. They desperately wanted to tie the capitalizt nation Melmond to enforce their egalitarian ideals. So they decided on a player sacrifice in the name of St. Thom and the commie gods. They each picked tomatoes from a bushel; the one that picked the green tomato was to be sacrificed in the name of egalitarianism. The unfortunate soul or the chosen one if you were a Paranoid Pinko was the goalkeeper NONE-4-ALL. NONE-4-ALL proclaimed to his team that, “He is proud to give his life for the ideal of universal egalitarianism, first the sports world, then the entire NationStates world!” NONE-4-ALL was then beaten to death by his teammates with hammers and sickles. St. Thom and the commie gods would have been proud.
For your information, that killing is not illegal in Melmondian law as NONE-4-ALL signed a permission form for the team to end his life in the name of egalitarianism. However after the game, it was found that the tomatoes in the bushel were eviscertomatoes and there has been a warrant for the arrest of the entire Alpha Commune team. However as the warrant was issued, the Alpha Commune National Team was well out of the country.
Anyway, back to the idea of disappointing. The weather and crowd at MPNK Stadium in Faasen was disappointing. Despite the late offering of a mix CD of some of the best local music, MPNK Stadium was half full and the crowd and players were treated to freezing rain.
Football wise, there really wasn’t that much action. The first half kickoff basically went like this. Camui Arai kicks it to Critandi Unne. Unne holds it. Holds it some more. S/he still has the ball in hir possession.
Fifteen minutes later…..s/he is still holding it! Alpha Commune doesn’t really care if s/he holds it for the entire game, as long as they get their tie. Critandi Unne finally makes hir move, but s/he slips. Fortunately no concussion this time for Critandi as s/he got up right away. When Melmond actually got shots that looked to be going straight passed the backup Alpha Commune goalkeeper, the ball took weird turns such as sharp ninety degree angles, just falling right to the ground, and the ball even took a straight 180 passed the Melmond goal line. It was nil-nil at the first half.
Manager Felix Coostatlwak, baffled and astonished by the strange events of the first half, makes two substitutions, mainly to appease the Faasen football faithful. Cory Yankovic and Phael Survigosis, who both play their club football in Faasen, was brought in the game for Gina Unne and Sergio Ortiz.
There was actually some action in the second half, however nothing football related. The most entertaining thing was a rather weak fight between Melmond defender Phael Survigosis and Alpha Commune striker GOT-2-GO. Survigosis strikes GOT-2-GO with a flurry of sissy slaps after GOT-2-GO called English band Muse, “Radiohead imitators.” As the two fought, attacks such as purple nerples, Jivaro fingernail pinches, and the painful and very un-PC Indian Burn were dished out by the two players. Both were given red cards as Phael Survigosis was ejected and GOT-2-GO got to go. Time is running out on Melmond and Alpha Commune was in bliss. They escape Melmond with their dreamed egalitarian tie.
After the game, Phael Survigosis wasn’t talking about football, but about music. Survigosis stated, “Radiohead is a good band, however their idea of epic is one of minimalism and Muse has ideas bursting at the seams. Radiohead may have the edge lyrics wise but Matt Bellamy has the pipes. They are both good but not the same.” Even Manager Felix Coostatlwak had something to say about it, “I hear that Thom Yorke is like a patron saint in Alpha Commune, there is a rumour that the song ‘Subterranean Homesick Alien’ was about Yorke visiting Alpha Commune.” Either way a tough match against Kingsford is coming up as Melmond virtually has a lock on sixth place.

Goals
None

Cards
Survigosis, MEL 55th
GOT-2-GO, ACM 55th

Standings

Other Group 1 Results
Kingsford 2 – Tanah Burung 1
Skipdonia 0 – BSE Free Bovines 0
Stalag 5 1 – Ravenspire 4
Svecia 2 – Raptor Claw 0

[code:1:a864772f92]Group 1
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Ravenspire 37 12 1 3 30:11 19
2. Tanah Burung 35 11 2 3 31: 8 23
3. Svecia 34 10 4 2 22: 6 16
4. Kingsford 30 9 3 4 18: 9 9
5. Stalag 5 26 7 5 4 19:17 2
6. Melmond 19 5 4 7 14:22 -8
7. BSE Free Bovines 13 2 7 7 12:19 -7
8. Raptor Claw 10 2 4 10 7:24 -17
9. Skipdonia 10 3 1 12 5:22 -17
10.Alpha Commune 8 1 5 10 3:23 -20[/code:1:a864772f92]

Melmond Team Stats
Goals: Critandi Unne (4), Chris Owen (4), Benjamin Leeb (2) Diallo Unne (1), Camui Arai (1), Martin Goodwin (1), Taxt (1)
Cards: Cristina Antunez (2), Jonsi Torrini (2), Paul “Edgy” Shields (1,1), Nina Steen (1), Phael Survigosis (1), Taxt (1)

Melmond National Team Schedule

@ Svecia L 4-0
v Skipdonia (Farmers Field, Melmond City) W 1-0
@ Tanah Burung L 2-0
v BSE Free Bovines (Lifedonations Stadium, Morales) W 1-0
@ Raptor Claw W 2-1
v Ravenspire (Microcosm Stadium, Aldi) L 2-0
@ Alpha Commune T 1-1
@ Kingsford L 2-0
v Stalag 5 (Walladome, Acosta) T 1-1
v Svecia (Unne Sports Temple, Unne) L 2-1
@ Skipdonia W 3-1
v Tanah Burung (Xpress Counsel Field, Cali) L 2-0
@ BSE Free Bovines L 3-1
v Raptor Claw (Woocat Books Ballpark, O’Connor) W 2-0
@ Ravenspire T 1-1
v Alpha Commune (MPNK Stadium, Faasen) T 0-0
v Kingsford (Farmers Field, Melmond City)
@ Stalag 5

Next Game
vs. Kingsford (at Farmers Field, Melmond City)

The people of Melmond City get a treat as they get to see their Fearless Farmers once again against a much tougher Kingsford team. Melmond would absolutely love to get the upset of their life by beating Kingsford in front of their home crowd. It can conceivably happen, it just depends on which Melmond team shows up, the one that tied Ravenspire on the road or the one that tied Alpha Commune at home. There was some friction between the two sides in the last game, which should make the game extra interesting. With the red card suspension of Phael Survigosis and the long suspension of Paul “Edgy” Shields, Manager Felix Coostatlwak is running short on defenders as only one will be available on the bench.

GK- Cory Yankovic
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Sergio Ortiz
D- Scott Cheney
D- Nina Steen
M- Martin Goodwin
M- Critandi Unne
M- Camui Arai
M- Cristina Antunez
F- Chris Owen
F- Benjamin Leeb

Farmers Field
Location: Melmond City, Melmond
Seats: 35,000 (Open Air)

Melmond City is the oldest and largest city in Melmond. It is also the capital of Melmond and the place where the entire nation of Melmond basically grew from. Farmers Field is the oldest stadium in Melmond and is currently home to the baseball team during the spring-fall and the Melmond City Blues during the baseball off-season. It’s located just outside of ancient Melmond City right near the subbullet train. The pitch is rather small in area, but Farmers field is a benchmark in beauty in term of old tyme stadiums. This stadium won’t be seeing very much football action in the future with the impending completion of the 92,000 seated Melmond Bowl. This game and the Cup of Harmony will give this venerable ballpark its last look at football action.

Sign Up for the Cup of Harmony! (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=137675)

Audioslavia

08-04-2004, 20:09

'slaves edge closer
0-0 bore puts the 'slaves on the brink of safety

Audioslavia and Iansisle played out a boring, goal-less, drab ninety minutes of football in Ian City to put the 'slaves just one point closer to qualification.

Iansisle, already mathematically eliminated, played with little or no determination, whilst the 'slaves, conscious of their 'everything-but-qualified' position, played defensively so as to not concede a goal.

Final Score
Iansisle 0
Audioslavia 0

[code:1:97555d0067]
Group 10
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Audioslavia 38 12 2 2 28: 6 22
2. Dennisov 35 11 2 3 26:12 14
3. Bedistan 32 9 5 2 25: 6 19
4. Avenging Altos 32 10 2 4 30:15 15
5. NEWI Cefn Druids 24 7 3 6 19:17 2
6. Iansisle 23 6 5 5 14:13 1
7. Magnus Valerius 18 4 6 6 15:20 -5
8. Fahigland 11 3 2 11 6:31 -25
9. Free Radicals of Mu-Mu 6 1 3 12 7:26 -19
10.Resistencia 5 1 2 13 5:29 -24 [/code:1:97555d0067]

Audioslavia inch closer to that golden '39' points which would ensure a berth in WC13, whatever Bedistan and AA conjure up between themselves. Both sides are playing away from home next week. Bedistan travel to NEWI Cefn Druids whilst AA are away against Fahigland. Should both sides win (more than likely for AA who shat all over Fahigland 6-0 last time round) and Audioslavia beat Dennisov at home (also likely, the 'slaves beat Dennisov convincingly in the away tie), we could see a fantastic three-way struggle for the last two qualifying places in the very last game of the round.

That last game sees Dennisov, Bedistan and Avenging Altos all at home against bottom-four sides, so it may just come down to goal difference to decide which of the three Progress, and which of the three Kaze.

In the other matche, NEWI Cefn Druids scored a big win over Fahigland to go above Iansisle in the table. The bottom four stay as they are.

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake, g'nite bitches

Rejistania

08-04-2004, 20:20

We are in the Kaletri Stadium, Kalisimu, Rejistania where Kalisimu Kaletri (16th in the league) faces Ihiri Relekhati (18th). Among the spectators... that can't be, it is Hexen Imdila and Laxtu Takil (coach and co-coach of the national team). Let's see what they talk among themselves.

HI: Makirijini...(at this time we remember to use the babelfish since our majuvedian is extremly bad)
HI: ...We sunk so low, we search for talent in the ligatanian league.
LT: Don't say a thing about the Ligat'he, they are in the majority here.
HI: I know. It's still symptomatic for the situation of the rejistanian soccer. The big names have retired, SyLy [Syku Lyku], Xese [Xeseja Su], SaJaNil [Kansu Kiru] and the youngsters... are crap!
LT: They aren't, think of Elin Ri or Ila~n Liyje!
HI: You didn't hear the news, did you?
LT: what news?
HI: Elin Ri is stateless and only rejistanian citizens can play in the national team.
LT: Debts!
HI: that's not all, Liyje'he plays already for a national team. For Steves Island.
LT: What the slani?
HI: He had a grandmother from there and Steve Ribeiro... gave him a reason to change his citizenship. *Imdila'he makes a guesture which means money while saying 'reason'*
LT: *deleted for expletive content*
HI: Exactly. And now we see Relekhati getting trashed 0-5 by the Kalisimu Kaletris.
LT: 0-5 is the current score. They'll concede at least two goals in the last 10 minutes!
(short pause)
HI: *notes down* Substitution: Ihi-Relek, out: Senhede, in: Milan Tia~e.
LT: I wonder why you note down these things at all. This match is crap, Ihiri Relekhati is more crap and The ligat league is the worst crap of all.
HI: No need to use the second superlativ.
LT: For the ligat league I which we had a third!
(after the match)
HI: You said that Relek will lose?
LT: I am still stunned: 5 goals in ten minutes! That was a catch-up of the Relekhatis.
HI: Did you say that he could find talent only in the nanti simu or perhaps in the nanti kansu?
LT: I did. He slani improved that team.
HI: And archieved two goals. I wonder why he didn't play from the beginning.
(innocent bystander): Because he slept with the daughter of the coach.
HI: *notes down* Contact Tia~e'he (Milan) from Ihi-Relek.

---
References to:
The Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy - Douglas Adams
Steves Island RP on page 11
The match SSV Marienheide vs Vfl Meckenheim in the german Landesliga

Squornshelous

08-04-2004, 23:00

Squornshelous Clinches 1st Place Finish
With a win over Jeruselem in matchday 15 and another 0-0 tie against Antaeus Rising, Squornshelous has put itself 7 points ahead of second place Antaeus Rising. With only two games remaining, AR can only achieve 39 points, and Squornshelous has already earned 40. With our last two games of qualifying against group bottom feeders, we predict that the Pschychoes will finish with 46 points.

The game against Jeruselem was a closely fought battle until the end, with Squornshelous scoring first in the 19th minute on an early corner kick. Richards took the corner and it sailed in to Brooks, who had taken a backdoor position. He leapt up and met the ball perfectly with his head, sending it into the net.

Jeruselem scored to tie the game in the 44th minute. (player) took the ball at midfield and beat Fink with a quick move to the outside. He then passed in to the middle, where Edmonds missed the header and the ball was sent flying off the foot of (player) into the goal.

The score remained locked until the 86th minute, when Koren Jackson dribbled into the offensive zone with Richards on the right wing. He made a defender miss, and then sent the ball to Richards. Richards dribbled in towards the box then lobbed the ball lightly to Jackson, who headed it viciously towards the net. The keeper reacted incredibly quickly, puching the ball back out, but Richards was waiting for it and put in the game winner.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 2-1 Jeruselem

Scoring Summary:
S: Brooks 19
J: (player) 44
S: Richards 86

The game against Antaeus Rising was largely uneventful, with neither team getting a single good chance to score on account of superb defense by both sides. The only decent chance of the game came for Antaeus Rising in the 54th minute. Stikolsmur lost control of a cleareance and AR picked up the loose ball. They dribbled quickly down the field toward the goal and (player) took a shot from just outside the box. Allen was on his toes though, and made an excellent save to keep the score even.

Squornshleous 0-0 Antaeus Rising

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Jackson: 10
Richards: 5
Brooks: 3
Rivera: 3
Jones: 2
Chavez: 2
Stikolsmur: 1

Group 7 Standings after Matchday 16
[code:1:1854d31e5d]

Group 7
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Squornshelous 40 12 4 0 26: 6 20
2. Antaeus Rising 33 9 6 1 25: 7 18
3. Creedence Clearwater 32 10 2 4 27:14 13
4. Lemmitania 30 8 6 2 22: 9 13
5. Jeruselem 30 9 3 4 27:18 9
6. Grand master Mark 19 6 1 9 19:18 1
7. The Republican Army 18 6 0 10 15:24 -9
8. Haraki 10 2 4 10 7:30 -23
9. Jaegermeistria 8 1 5 10 7:25 -18
10.New Cyprus 3 0 3 13 6:30 -24

[/code:1:1854d31e5d]

The Eagles Nest

09-04-2004, 01:21

Coach Aefnen is in the locker room talking to Josh Adams.

CA: Josh, it's ok.

JA: I know, but I make that PK, we win.

CA: Trust me it's ok.

JA: Isn't CH tied with us now?

CA: Yeah, and we play them next. that determines second place.

JA: But Matigool won today *kicks trash can* dang it, my miss means that Mattigool can still beat us.

CA: HEY! they have to play Gesamtkuntswerk, and they have to win out, we lose out for them to beat us. I promise you if they can beat Gesam, more power to them, but I am sure they won't.

JA: *sigh* I guess. but I don't miss PK's.

CA: Well, you did this one. Shake it off, we've got a plane to catch to Commerce Heights. *walks out*

JA: *sits for a moment* I hope Matti doesn't beat Gesam. If they do, we're in trouble.

-----------------------------

MatchDay 16 Recap

Josh Adams missed a penalty shot in the 89th minute and the Nest tied Vozvyshennost 1-1. Horace scored for the Nest to tie the game after Vozy took an early lead. The next game agains Commerce Heights is crucial to both teams. Actually, if they agree to tie, they both move on as Mattigool has to win both, and either CH or TEN has to lose both to be knocked out.

Commerce Heights 4 Fortuna Prospera 0
Formula One Racing 0 Anti-Nazis 1
Gesamtkuntswerk 3 Mordecei 0
Gleam Street 0 Mattigool 2
The Eagles Nest 1 Vozvyshennost 1

[code:1:8cde90f003]
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
Q Gesamtkuntswerk 16 13 3 0 26 4 22 42 48
2 Commerce Heights 16 10 4 2 25 6 19 34 40
3 The Eagle's Nest 16 10 4 2 25 7 18 34 40
4 Mattigool 16 9 2 5 19 12 7 29 35
E Anti-Nazis 16 7 5 4 21 12 9 26 32
E Vozvyshennost 16 6 5 5 18 12 6 23 29
E Formula One Racing 16 3 3 10 6 18 -12 12 18
E Fortuna Prospera 16 3 2 11 6 28 -22 11 17
E Gleam Street 16 1 4 11 3 25 -22 7 13
E Mordecei 16 0 4 12 4 29 -25 4 10
[/code:1:8cde90f003]

The Eagle's Nest WCXIII Qualifying Campaign
Eagle's Nest @ Gleam Street Win 2-0
Eagle's Nest v. Mordecei Win 1-0
Eagle's Nest @ Gesamtkuntswerk Loss 0-3
Eagle's Nest v. Mattigool Win 2-1
Eagle's Nest @ Formula One Racing Win 2-0
Eagle's Nest v. Fortuna Prospera Win 3-0
Eagle's Nest @ Vozvyshennost Win 1-0
Eagle's Nest v. Commerce Heights Tie 0-0
Eagle's Nest @ Anti-Nazis Tie 0-0

Eagle's Nest v. Gleam Street Win 1-0
Eagle's Nest @ Mordecei Win 3-0
Eagle's Nest V. Gesamtkuntswerk Loss 1-2
Eagle's Nest @ Mattigool Win 4-0
Eagle's Nest v. Formula One Racing Tie 0-0
Eagle's Nest @ Fortuna Prospera Win 4-0
Eagle's Nest v. Vozvyshennost Tie 1-1
Eagle's Nest @ Commerce Heights
Eagle's Nest v. Anti-Nazis

Eauz

09-04-2004, 03:03

Le Libre

More relaxed environment

Returning home for their next match against Gormith, Eauz will try to recover from the crazed match against 'Just an Egg'. The prime minister hopes that the people arrested are sent to rehab places instead of jail. No one learns anything from jail, you just get more hate building up.

Here at home, Les Bleus find themselves playing infront of a sold out crowd, with the fans trying to encourage Les Bleus in their fight for first place. It is the first sold out home crowd since Les Bleus played Europa Brittania.

Talking to the Fans:

Joseph: "I showed up tonight, because it is the last home match for Les Bleus qualifying round. I see it will be a good tight race between the top 3 teams. I feel Les Bleus can take first place"

Bernedette: "The team is very good, but I showed up because I have nothing else to do tonight."

Tomma: "Wha...? Dude, I... oh.. I thought this was a big pot festival. I couldn't believe I payed so much money too. damn! Oh well, I'll just enjoy my drugs"

Berdard(passing by): "Oh no, I'm not showing up for that match, oh no! I don't care if Les Bleus have already qualified, they always seem to lose to crappy teams."

As for the oppenent, Gormith is coming off of a 2- 1 loss to East Spaam. Gormith proved to be very strong this qualifying round, dispite their position in the standings. They have beat EB twice, and are fighting for a potential 4th place. The last match these two played, Les Bleus beat Gormith 4 - 0. Though, like the other teams of this second half, Les Bleus should not take them so lightly, for there will be a lot of desire to beat Les Bleus, especially after a 4 - 0 defeat against Les Bleus.

Also tonight, Les Bleus will be getting Figeu back from his back injury. The coach said that he expects to play Figeu for 5 - 10 minutes, and bench him for the rest of the match. Also, all other players on penalty's will be coming back for this match. Look for a strengthend Eauz team. Also, Les Bleus will be looking to the score board to see who wins the match between Liverpool England and Europa Brittania. Either way, Les Bleus would rather the match result in a tie, so as Les Bleus if they lose, don't lose much ground, and if Les Bleus win, they gain a bit of ground.

Commerce Heights

09-04-2004, 05:53

The Commerce Heights Bulldogs and various staff are on a plane from North Commerce Heights to Commerce Heights.

Belless: So why are we flying 30 miles and driving 25 miles instead of just driving 5 miles? Wouldn't it cost less?

Belmore: Discover Currency, for it is wealth that moves the world, and profit that rules it!

Sherwood: I concur!

Modde: Let's go bonk some heads!

Belless: What is this, an old computer game?

Hufschmidt: You're Einstein, sir! I mean, you are the e=mc^2! Like a clock-speed double microchip, sir! We're number one in SCIENCE!

Coach Hicks: You see Trevor, they got one of those people down in Snub Nose to do the CHFA budget this year. They aren't so great with math.

Belless: You mean those people that score 380+ goals in each match? The team that only gets counted as winning when scoring at least 381 more goals than the opponent?

Coach Hicks: Indeed.

Belless: Now what are you doing? In case you were wondering, you don't have a gold tattoo on your forehead or a snake in your gut yet!

Vojtilo: Coach, our staff members in the cockpit are happy! :(

Hicks: This vehicle appears to be ineffective.

Gryglewski-Cebrat plays a guitar.

Modde: I disagree, your excellency.

Belmore: I disagree, your excellency.

The pilot does something with the controls that makes a mouse-like clicking sound.

Modde, Hufschmidt, Belmore, and Gryglewski-Cebrat start talking, all at the same time.

Belless: *sigh* Whatever civilization they were, they must have descended into anarchy...

A burnt-out light bulb appears over Belless's head.

Belless: Can't we start a new government? Maybe a Despotism or something? Come on, we beat Fortuna Prospera 4-0!

Modde: I disagree!

Belmore: Let's do lunch!

McCormick: McCormick get a new walkman.

Pilot: We are the barrels that SING... AND... DANCE!!!

Belless: Slani! Slani! Slani! Slani! Slani!

with these words, the plane crashes into a 256 square meter bus stop. Belless pauses after getting up, and decides not to use his god(mod?) powers to resurrect the rest of the team. He shows up, an hour before the match against The Eagles Nest, and gives himself the appearance of being a 11-person team...

Various intellectual property shamelessly "borrowed" ;)
Civilization II advisors (Modde is the military advisor, Hufschmidt is the science advisor, Belmore is the trade advisor, and Gryglewski-Cebrat is the attitude advisor ;) )
Civilization III advisors (Vojtilo is the domestic advisor bug)
Stargate SG-1 (Hicks is Teal'c)
a certain plague that has infected #sport on EsperNet *cough*sportbot*cough*
The Fifth Wall (a story written by a friend for National Novel Writing Month last year, which includes a cameo appearance by the barrels mentioned in the RP)
the excessive size of bus stops in SimCity

Gesamtkuntswerk

09-04-2004, 08:29

Sturm leads groups as high point team

The latest match against Mattigool resulted in another victory for the Gesamtkuntswerk Sturms, putting the Sturms at the highest tier across the groups. The Sturms lead by two points several group top teams, and only the final qualifying game will determine whether the Sturms maintain their position on top. The intergroup rankings matter very little in the games to come, but the Sturms are enjoying their spot on top. They also brag the lowest goal allowance in all the groups, as well as one of four teams sporting an undefeated record.

Group Four has already finalized its three qualifying teams. Commerce Heights and The Eagle's Nest vie for the second place position; they are both currently at thirty-five points. The Sturms head the pack with a whopping forty-five points.

Kaze Progressa

09-04-2004, 09:30

Kicked Off

A 0-0 draw in the Progressair Stadium made any other results irrelevant as the Progressans are eliminated with a game to spare. The suffering fans find their humour at the final whistle.

Fans (to the tune of 'We Are The Champions'): WE'RE OFF TO MELMOND, MY FRIENDS... AND WE'LL KEEP ON LOSING 'TILL THE END... WE'RE OFF TO MELMOND, WE'RE OFF TO MELMOND... NO TIME FOR WINNERS, 'CAUSE WE'RE OFF TO MELMOND...

The Oglethorpian Football Fans Brass Band and Drummers play Dario G's Carnaval De Paris - a popular celebration song in Kaze Progressa and Rejistania - from their section of the stadium, almost being heard over the home fans' gallows chanting. The mockery and humiliation was complete.

Chares Catrar, manager of the Progressans in his second stint and still the only manager to fail to send the Progressans to the finals (he was manager in WC7/8, which the Progressans failed to qualify for) is sent to an electric shock machine where Milli Gram is waiting. Veteran striker Ekazen Waulino - forever associated with Quarua Lakeside (Catrar was X-Teem manager for eight years) - is waiting nearby.

MG: OK. Aim, pass, shoot. What is next.

Chares picks 'miss'. Buzzer sounds. Ekazen immediately delivers a 450V shock.

EW: I declare Faiwe Irafma my new manager!

Faiwe Irafma, watching from the stands, hears a tannoy announcement implying as such, and makes a hasty press conference to deny it.

FI: To quote the defending champions: What the slani hell is happening? I will choose to apply for the managerial role in due course. I have a year before I retire as a player in club football, and I wish to focus on this and then gaining club managerial experience.

TO BE CONTINUED...

The Hitlist
Queen, 'We Are The Champions'
Dario G, 'Carnaval De Paris'
Milgram's obedience experiment
Rejistanian
My godmodding of Faiwe Irafma in Cups gone by

Liverpool England

09-04-2004, 09:53

The World Cup Update - Tribute to World Cup Winning Manager Sir Jim Whites

World Cup Bronze-medallist Attacking Midfielder Steven Blackwell talks about the manager who led the team to its only World Cup in WC8, and the third place in WC9, while he was watching the amazing match Liverpool England 1 Europa Brittania 0 dedicated to his ex-manager

A great manager and person lost. The nation is in mourning, and all flags are at half mast. Since the team has already qualified, discussions are being made by the FALE whether or not to forfeit the match against The Redavic Union, giving the opposition an automatic 3-0 win and deducting three points from the team, who on 39 are not catchable by East Spaam on twenty-nine points.

Kof Hadji dedicated the winning goal to the great one, a superb tap in from 4 yards after Dominic Dirosa did all the hard work getting up into attack.

The whole team after the match remained on the pitch, not bothering to celebrate their astonishing victory over the two-time winners. Instead, the stadium went dark and the scoreboard turned into a screen showing th highlights of Sir Whites' career and life.

Liverpool England

09-04-2004, 10:00

BREAKING NEWS
Josh Hinar: Hello, you're watching LEINN Breaking News. We take you live to Orean, the footballing capital of the nation where FALE Director Paul Dussis is prepared to make a statement to the press.

PD: "It is with great sadness that I must make this statement. We have lost a World Cup winning manager. Sir Jim Whites was, and is always, and always will be, a hero in my, and I'm sure many of your, hearts.

The Football Association of Liverpool England have just concluded an emergency meeting and have voted unanimously, 40-0, to officially forfeit the World Cup Qualifier against The Redavic Union, which is of no means to us. The team's morale is down, and we do not see much point in playing the final qualifier when we have already qualified, given the tragic circumstances.

The entire team will be leading a funeral service, to be attended by all the World Cup winners of World Cup Edition Eight, and the third placed smi-finalists of World Cup Edition Nine, for the great Sir Jim Whites. Condolences must go out to his family, his wife, four sons, two daughters, daughters and sons-in-law, granchildren and grandchildren-in-laws, his immediate living family and his great-grandchildren.

No questions will be taken."

Lovebug

09-04-2004, 10:31

LOVEBUG DAILY UPDATE PAGE

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/lovebug.jpg

The Group and Rankings

[code:1:4cdfd78883]
Group 5

Lovebug defeats Aserjin 1-0
Compound Interest defeats Vilita 1-0
Dance 2 Revolution defeats Lovisa 1-0
Snub Nose 38 and The Belmore Family tie 1-1
Warnocks Wizards defeats The Lowland Clans 2-1

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Snub Nose 38 43 13 4 0 33: 6 27
2. Warnocks Wizards 37 11 4 2 19: 5 14
3. The Belmore Family 31 10 4 3 18: 8 10
4. The Lowland Clans 27 9 0 8 27:12 15
5. Dance 2 Revolution 27 7 6 4 13: 9 4
6. Lovisa 24 7 3 7 16:15 1
7. Lovebug 14 4 2 11 14:30 -16
8. Aserjin 12 2 6 9 4:21 -17
9. Compound Interest 12 3 3 11 8:26 -18
10.Vilita 8 2 2 13 4:24 -20
[/code:1:4cdfd78883]

TODAY'S MATCHUP - FEATURES LOVEBUG & ASERJIN

A MESSAGE FROM THE LNSNN - Apau Ka inoa O aloha, ho'okahi wa hou Ka inoa O aloha!
Keonimakaio http://espn.starwave.com/i/talent/madden/head.jpg and Kanielapakelika http://espnradio.espn.go.com/i/columnists/patrick_dan_c.jpg here on the streets of Alohakulanakauhale ( the capital city of Lovebug).

Keonimakaio – HELLO LOVEBUGIANS! I’m Keonimakaio, and I’d like to welcome back my partner Kanielapakelika to the broadcast.

Kanielapakelika – Thanks, and what a day to be back, we’re here in the streets of Lovebug as fans from all around wait to welcome the Bulldog’s home from Aserjin where they just WON their first match up in a LONG, LONG TIME!

Keonimakaio – It really is a fabulous site, word came in early this morning that the Bulldog’s managed to overtake Aserjin in the final minutes of the match up winning it 1-0. The streets began filling immediately with excited fans cheering, hoping to get a glimpse of the man who finally helped us get a long awaited victory – none other than Right Mid-Fielder Mack "The Truck" Rellic http://www.football-rumours.com/images/joecole.jpg (photo from stock)!

Kanielapakelika – It was one of those back and forth, back and forth kind of games – neither side seemed willing to give an inch. Just when it looked as if the game would end scoreless, Mack makes his way around past 3 Aserjin defenders, powering his way to the goal and hits his shot square on the right side. It was up to the Bulldog defense at that point to hold on to the victory, which was certainly not a guarantee based on our defensive record lately. But miracle of miracles they managed to keep Aserjin away from the goal leaving the Bulldog’s the victors today.

Keonimakaio – In a minute we will be hearing a statement by our beloved leader Queen Hilahilapulelehua, better known as ShyButterfly.

Queen ShyButterfly – Hello, citizens of Lovebug it is my great pleasure to welcome back a group of people who have been hard up for a reason to celebrate lately, but today have reason to cheer. WELCOME BACK BULLDOGS! (A CHEER AROSE FROM THE CROWDED MASSES IN THE STREETS AS THE TEAM ARRIVED). I’d just like to say that I know this has been a hard ride but we are proud to have you represent us, I’m going to be there tomorrow for the last game of the season against The Lowland Clans, hopefully we can pull of another victory. The team will be following WC 13 play, with a showing in the Harmony Cup and WC14. But tonight we celebrate; there will a feast here in the palace the afternoon for the team and their families and a giant street festival afterwards for one and all! Congrats Bulldogs, especially Mack.

Keonimakaio – You heard it here, a victory celebration tonight, a happy team, a happy nation. Well that’s all for now.

Kanielapakelika – We’ll see you tomorrow – Good day all!

TOMMOROW'S MATCHUP - FEATURES LOVEBUG & THE LOWLAND CLANS

Snub Nose 38

09-04-2004, 11:47

*in the distance the sunlight reflects off the marble walls of the newly rebuilt palatial mansion on the expansive estate of the minister of athletics, olympics, and alcoholic beverages. the landscapers and horticulturists have completed there work in this part of the estate, although far off to our left we can see they still have much work to do before the estate will be completely refurbished. this area is built around a fairly large pond, fed by a small stream that cascades in from the north through a small forest of pine. to the east the pines give way to a more structured mixed deciduous wood, through which winds a stone path. the mansion is to the south beyond an expansive manicured lawn that rises up in several steps, each a gentle slope. a gravel path leads up to the mansion, with a short hedge bordering it on either side interrupted every so often to make space for a variety of statuary, each depicting a mythological figure and each facing a marble bench just across the path. to the west we see a series of formal plantings surrounding, but not crowding, a maze of boxwood hedge. it is beyond this view that construction is still underway.

there is a rustic wooden dock by the pond – two rowboats are tied up there. in one of them sits the minister, wearing a large floppy straw hat, fish pole in one hand, cold “38 special” beer in the other. at the end of the dock someone we know only as margaret, in a light burgundy frock and a midnight blue shawl, sits under a canvas awning, dangling her feet in the water, sipping lemonade and reading poetry. out towards the middle of the pond is a red canoe, ben dover in the stern (under a wide brimmed hat) paddling slowly along. eileen is in the bow, reclining against a large, soft pillow beneath a parasol, with a long island iced tea. happy times, these are happy times.*

- Is there more lemonade?
- Yes. It’s in a cooler under the maple tree at the other end of the dock.
- Way over there?
- Well, yes – way over there.
- Would you get me some?
- All right. Yo! Butler dude! Margaret wants more lemonade!

*the butler “dude”, who had been sitting in the shade off a bit beyond the maple at the end of the dock, grimaces in the general direction of the minister as he begins to comply with the request for more lemonade.*

- Did we get today’s results yet?
- Um hm.
- Well?
- Yes.
- What?
- I said “Yes”
- “Yes” what?
- Yes, well.
- Well? What well?
- Dunno. There’s a well over there.
- Why are we talking about a well?
- You brought it up.
- Not at all. I was asking you how the Hooligans did.
- …They…did…well…
- Ah. I see. How well?
- Draw with The Belmore Family.
- Kind of an ambivalent result, eh?
- Better’n a loss.
- True. Where does that put them, overall, Margaret?
- Still first in Group 5 – that’s a lock now.
- And?
- And second overall. Gesamkunstwerk won, and that puts ‘em at 45 points - two points ahead of the Hooligans, who are in second place overall by one in Goal Differential over Giant Zucchini. Squornshelous is fourth on Goal Differential – five behind Giant Zucchini.
- So that means…
- Still four undefeated sides – yes.
- Who’s up next for the Spectral Hooligans?
- The Phantom Warnocks Wizards Red and White Wizards.
- That’s quite a mouthful. Don’t I remember something about Warnocks Wizards?
- Do you? Remember something? That would be a first.
- Rude. Rude again, Margaret.
- Habit.
- What is it I remember?
- Obviously, you don’t remember.
- Fine, then! What is it I don’t remember about Warnocks Wizards?
- They don’t exist.
- Howzat?
- Don’t exist. Stopped being. Ceased to occupy space. Are no longer with us. Seem to have disappeared…
- I’m getting the picture. So, where’d they go?
- Look…it’s a nice day. Warm, but not hot. A gentle breeze, not a wind. Lemonade, cool water, the Hooligans have qualified and are undefeated. We’re back on the estate, and along with Ben and Eileen our reputations are back. Everything’s going along smoothly. So, why do you want to make trouble? Stop with the inane questions and go back to fishing before I hafta hurt ya.

*the minister goes back to fishing before margaret has to hurt him. we decide to take a stroll around the grounds, and head off to the south down the garden path.*

Jeruselem

09-04-2004, 13:28

Jeruselem Government News

Group 7 to be decided in last games

With 2nd to 5th separated by ONE POINT in Group 7, who will be joining Squornshelous will be decided in the next round. Antaeus Rising lost to GM Mark while Jeruselem beat Creedence Clearwater. Lemmitania and Squornshelous scored wins as well.

The main game was Jeruselem vs Creedence Clearwater game which Jeruselem won 1-0 due to penalty given away by a CC defender. No team 2nd to 5th can afford to lose their last game especially CC.

Group 7: Grand master Mark 1 Antaeus Rising 0
Group 7: Haraki 2 Jaegermeistria 0
Group 7: Jeruselem 1 Creedence Clearwater 0
Group 7: Lemmitania 2 The Republican Army 0
Group 7: Squornshelous 1 New Cyprus 0

[code:1:acbcd584ae]
Group 7
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Squornshelous 43 13 4 0 27: 6 21
2. Antaeus Rising 33 9 6 2 25: 8 17
3. Lemmitania 33 9 6 2 24: 9 15
4. Jeruselem 33 10 3 4 28:18 10
5. Creedence Clearwater 32 10 2 5 27:15 12
6. Grand master Mark 22 7 1 9 20:18 2
7. The Republican Army 18 6 0 11 15:26 -11
8. Haraki 13 3 4 10 9:30 -21
9. Jaegermeistria 8 1 5 11 7:27 -20
10.New Cyprus 3 0 3 14 6:31 -25
[/code:1:acbcd584ae]

The Eagles Nest

09-04-2004, 14:14

Strike Birds Secure Qualifications

Birds and Commerce Heights Both Go Through on 0-0 Score

With Belless showing up to play the Nest, and realizing that both teams could profit from a tie, Belless persuade Coach Aefnen to not really play the first half to wait on the Gesmatkuntswerk-Mattigool score to come in. The first half is mainly a passing drill put on by the Nest while Belless stayed in the box...just in case.

At halftime, the score was posted. Gesam 2...Mattigool 1. Both CH and TEN had qualified regardless of the outcome. The second half was really a dribbling competition between Belless and Nest strike Josh Adams. The referee just shook his head, looked at the clock, saw there was 30 minutes remaining, and called the game over.

Score 0-0.

MatchDay17 Recap

With the Mattigool loss, the group is set. Gsamtkuntswerk, TEN, and CH have qualified out of group 4, which is exactly as we predicted in the beginnng of the tourney...not in this order, but the teams are correct. The nest has to play Anti-Nazis at home, while CH goes to Gleam Street to determine who gets the bragging rights of second place.

Anti-Nazis 0 Vozvyshennost 1
Commerce Heights 0 The Eagles Nest 0
Fortuna Prospera 0 Gleam Street 0
Mattigool 1 Gesamtkuntswerk 2
Mordecei 1 Formula One Racing 1

[code:1:9503ac57d9]
Group 4 Standings
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts PP
Q Gesamtkuntswerk 17 14 3 0 28 5 23 45 48
Q Commerce Heights 17 10 5 2 25 6 19 35 38
Q The Eagle's Nest 17 10 5 2 25 7 18 35 38
E Mattigool 17 9 2 6 20 14 6 29 32
E Anti-Nazis 17 7 5 5 21 13 8 26 29
E Vozvyshennost 17 7 5 5 19 12 7 26 29
E Formula One Racing 17 3 4 10 7 19 -12 13 16
E Fortuna Prospera 17 3 3 11 6 28 -22 12 15
E Gleam Street 17 1 5 11 3 25 -22 8 11
E Mordecei 17 0 5 12 5 30 -25 5 8
[/code:1:9503ac57d9]

The Eagle's Nest WCXIII Qualifying Campaign
Eagle's Nest @ Gleam Street Win 2-0
Eagle's Nest v. Mordecei Win 1-0
Eagle's Nest @ Gesamtkuntswerk Loss 0-3
Eagle's Nest v. Mattigool Win 2-1
Eagle's Nest @ Formula One Racing Win 2-0
Eagle's Nest v. Fortuna Prospera Win 3-0
Eagle's Nest @ Vozvyshennost Win 1-0
Eagle's Nest v. Commerce Heights Tie 0-0
Eagle's Nest @ Anti-Nazis Tie 0-0

Eagle's Nest v. Gleam Street Win 1-0
Eagle's Nest @ Mordecei Win 3-0
Eagle's Nest V. Gesamtkuntswerk Loss 1-2
Eagle's Nest @ Mattigool Win 4-0
Eagle's Nest v. Formula One Racing Tie 0-0
Eagle's Nest @ Fortuna Prospera Win 4-0
Eagle's Nest v. Vozvyshennost Tie 1-1
Eagle's Nest @ Commerce Heights Tie 0-0
Eagle's Nest v. Anti-Nazis

Eauz

09-04-2004, 14:34

Le LIBRE

La Vie est Belle Encore!

The final match at home of the qualifying round for Les Bleus brought about big surprises for the team. They got back the red card players and Figeu from injury to play the 17th MD. Playing under a sold out crowd, Les Bleus hoped to bring about another win, to stay close to the top.

Figeu was put in as a starter for Les Bleus, and started the first 12 minutes of play. During the 7th minute of play, he had a perfect chance kicking it wide of the goal. Figeu would leave the match, with 0 points, but feeling fine. Gormith had a spectacular chance on Les Bleus, finding the defence for Les Bleus sleeping, as the attempt was stopped by the keeper Youseuv. Throughout the match, the team was watching the score board for the match between Liverpool England and Europa Brittania. At the 43rd minute of play, they saw a goal put up for Liverpool England. The team was happy to see that, which would provide them with the chance to steal first place. The first half ended in a positive note, as just before break, Les Bleus pushed forward an attack, scoring at the 44th minute of play, putting them up 1 – 0.

The second half brought about a stronger Eauz team, than the first half, as they scored a second goal at the 48th minute of play. Two quick goals raised the spirit of the team, but it might have made them lazy too. Late attacks by the Gormith team, took Les Bleus by surprise, as they controlled the ball between the 50th and 62nd minutes of play, forcing Les Bleus to play well. Two serious threats resulted from that, only be stopped by Youseuv. Les Bleus had NO real attacks after scoring the 2nd goal, as they played it conservatively. The match would end in a 2 – 0 win for Les Bleus.

With the knowledge of the victory by Liverpool England, Les Bleus pulled into 1st place, with a 2 point lead over Europa Brittania. Unfortunately though, a few hours after the match between those two teams, Liverpool England found out about a death of the WC8 manager, who had brought them the World Cup. This made them forfeit the next and final match of qualifying round, which means Eauz will be qualifying either 1st or 2nd, depending on the results of the final match between Europa Brittania’s match and the match between Eauz and East Spaam.

Les Bleus will be facing a strong team in East Spaam, which last time, Les Bleus beat 1 – 0. Look. The last match though, East Spaam tied the worst team in group 8 in a 0 – 0 tie. Les Bleus will though, have to hope to win this match, to be the top team of group 8. It has been a wonderful rid for Les Bleus with great victories, and horrible defeats. Look for Les Bleus though, to finish off this wonderful qualifying round with what else than a victory, and the title of first in group 8.

Round 1: Tadjikistan @ Eauz W 0 - 4
Round 2: Eauz @ Intelligent Madness W 4 - 0
Round 3: Liverpool England @ Eauz W 1 - 2
Round 4: Eauz @ Zephyrs W 2 - 0
Round 5: Europa Brittania @ Eauz L 1 - 0
Round 6: Eauz @ The Redavic Union W 2 - 0
Round 7: Just an egg @ Eauz W 0 - 1
Round 8: Eauz @ Gormith W 4 - 0
Round 9: East Spaam @ Eauz W 0 - 1
Round 10: Eauz @ Tadjikistan T 0 - 0
Round 11: Intelligent Madness @ Eauz W 0 - 4
Round 12: Eauz @ Liverpool England L 0 - 1
Round 13: Zephyrs @ Eauz W 0 - 2
Round 14: Eauz @ Europa Brittania W 2 - 1
Round 15: The Redavic Union @ Eauz T 1 - 1
Round 16: Eauz @ Just an Egg W 1 - 0
Round 17: Gormith @ Eauz W 0 - 2
Round 18: Eauz @ East Spaam

[code:1:576749dbe8]
Group 8
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Eauz 41 13 2 2 32: 5 27
2. Europa Brittania 39 13 0 4 34: 8 26
3. Liverpool England 39 12 3 2 30: 8 22
4. East Spaam 29 9 2 6 26:14 12
5. Gormith 23 6 5 6 18:18 0
6. The Redavic Union 23 7 2 8 16:22 -6
7. Tadjikistan 20 5 5 7 13:25 -12
8. Just an egg 10 2 4 11 6:25 -19
9. Intelligent Madness 10 2 4 11 8:32 -24
10.Zephyrs 5 0 5 12 5:31 -26
[/code:1:576749dbe8]

Stats after 13 match days for Group 8:

Most Goals For: Europa Brittania (34)
Least Goals For: Zephyrs (5)
Most Goals against: Intelligent Madness (32)
Least Goals against: Eauz (5)
Most Wins: Europa Brittania, Eauz (13)
Least Wins: Zephyrs (0)
Most Losses: Zephyrs (12)
Least Losses: Eauz, Liverpool England (2)
Highest Goal Difference: Eauz (+27)
Lowest Goal Difference: Zephyrs (-26)

The Eagles Nest

09-04-2004, 15:11

As the WC qualifying comes to an end, many teams are looking to train, get better and find good competitions to get ready for WCXIV...well, at least those that got knocked out.

The Cup of Harmony is a tournament for those who got knocked out of the World Cup and does count towards your rankings, but it happens concurrantly with the World Cup.

Three years later, right as teams are starting to look for tune ups for the World Cup, the Eagle's Cup II will be held. This tournament has no bearing on the World Cup Rankings.

This is a small tournament ala Copa America. Teams qho have qualified and teams who didn't are elgible to play this tourney. If interested, sign up here.

http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3022672

Bedistan

09-04-2004, 15:15

http://bellsouthpwp.net/h/a/harleyt_1387/qualifying_race_banner.png

Amanda: Good morning; I'm Amanda Butt alongside Chuck Mitchell, and boy, do we have an update for you.

Chuck: Yes, indeed.

Amanda: First things first: the Druid match. The Lions traveled to NEWI Cefn Druids for their match yesterday. Last time they played, we were held to a 1-1 draw at home, but we knew we had to win this match to keep our qualifying hopes alive.

Chuck: Annoyingly, striker Gil Vu pulled a muscle in training just before the match, and had to sit this one out. Nathan Cooke took his place in the starting lineup. This didn't seem to affect the visitors too much, though, as we quickly capitalized on a Druid defensive mistake to take a 1-0 lead just four minutes in.

*replay of cooke taking a shot from about ten yards out that the keeper is just too late to block*

Amanda: Before the half ended, though, the Druids would strike back. This incredibly long pass happened to land directly in front of their striker -- I think his name was Trevor, but that doesn't tell us anything, they have like ten Trevors on the team...where was I? Oh yeah, Trevor scored, tying the game at one.

Chuck: It looked like the match would end that way too, as there was very little activity in the second half. Most likely, though, a draw would have all but ended our qualifying hopes, and Lions fans around the world rejoiced when Karen Neighbors corrected that little problem.

*replay of neighbors taking a free kick from just outside the box. the goalie seems to be concentrating on something else for some reason, and totally misses the fact that the ball's headed for the goal. he only notices when fans start cheering, and then he begins to weep.*

Amanda: And that's how it ended, 2-1 for the Lions. A badly needed win.

Chuck: As expected, Avenging Altos defeated Fahigland, though luckily not 6-0 like last time -- it was only 2-0 this time around, although that does close the gap slightly to just three units of goal difference.

Amanda: The real good news, though, came out of Audioslavia. We expected the 'slaves to draw with Dennisov, but they actually managed to defeat them, which not only cements their World Cup berth but also significantly helps out our chances.

*a table appears on the screen:*

[code:1:f0b7ac23ba]Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts
Q Audioslavia 17 13 2 2 29 6 23 41
2 Bedistan 17 10 5 2 27 7 20 35
3 Avenging Altos 17 11 2 4 32 15 17 35
4 Dennisov 17 11 2 4 26 13 13 35
E Iansisle 17 7 5 5 17 13 4 26
E NEWI Cefn Druids 17 7 3 7 20 19 1 24
E Magnus Valerius 17 5 6 6 17 20 -3 21
E Fahigland 17 3 2 12 6 33 -27 11
E Free Radicals of Mu-Mu 17 1 3 13 7 29 -22 6
E Resistencia 17 1 2 14 5 31 -26 5 [/code:1:f0b7ac23ba]

Chuck: Thanks to Dennisov's inferior goal difference compared to the Lions and the Altos, they fall to fourth place, bringing us up to second. What this basically means is that if we defeat Fahigland at home tomorrow, which frankly I can't see us not doing, we're pretty much in, unless Dennisov wins by about ten. Now we don't care if the Altos pass us, because if they do, we'll still be third. But with all three teams at the same point total, it's a total free-for-all among these teams.

Amanda: Hence our little logo thingy at the start of the broadcast.

Chuck: I think they figured that out.

Amanda: I'm just making sure.

Chuck: So be sure to join us tomorrow for Bedistan v Fahigland, live from James Parker National Stadium, where a win will see us into World Cup 13!

Amanda: I'm Amanda Butt...

Chuck: ...and I'm Chuck Mitchell. Good day, everyone.

Sources of 'inspiration'
Snub Nose 38's ASPN RPs
the WC11 logo

Halfassedstates

09-04-2004, 15:41

- And second overall. Gesamkunstwerk won, and that puts ‘em at 45 points - two points ahead of the Hooligans, who are in second place overall by one in Goal Differential over Giant Zucchini. Squornshelous is fourth on Goal Differential – five behind Giant Zucchini.

*wanders along whistling quietly pointing at the following table*
[code:1:f4c79a7f42] Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Gesamtkuntswerk 45 14 3 0 28: 5 23
2. Halfassedstates 43 14 1 2 37: 9 28
3. Snub Nose 38 43 13 4 0 33: 6 27
4. Giant Zucchini 43 13 4 0 32: 6 26
5. Squornshelous 43 13 4 0 27: 6 21
6. Eauz 41 13 2 2 32: 5 27
7. Audioslavia 41 13 2 2 29: 6 23
[/code:1:f4c79a7f42]

*grins and wanders off fully realising that we are now likely to be on the receiving end of a curse of some discription from said magical one! :wink: *

Lovebug

09-04-2004, 15:45

A LOVEBUG ANNOUNCEMENT

The Queendom of Lovebug is seeking someone to design new uniforms for their team the Bulldogs, our colors are royal purple, black, and silver. We'd like it to be available before we play in the harmony cup or at the least before we play in WC 14. We will of course compensate the designer for their efforts with a free one week vacation to one of our world class casinos, including hotel, airfare, meals and 1000 Puppies (the monetary unit of Lovebug) with which to gamble - for them and a guest.

thank you,
Queen ShyButterfly of Lovebug

Svecia

09-04-2004, 16:07

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

VAN MEER THE INVINCIBLE
Svecian Goalkeeper comes up Big in Biggest Game of His Life as Svecia Upsets Ravenspire on Road 1-0
Fredag, 9 April, 2004

Ravenspire - To Svecian goalkeep Piet van Meer, it must have seemed to be the longest day of his life. But for certain, it was his best when the final whistle blew.

Despite the Lightning defense's multiple flubs, van Meer's heroic kept the goose egg up on the Ravenspire side of the scoreboard. Van Meer turned away an incredible 12 shots on goal including a penalty kick. Four more hit the framework of the goal, and another two missed by mere centimeter.

Svecian head coach Tim Sveers had to make all three of his substitution during the match, and all three were made in the defense. A brief brainfart in the 24th mintue by defender Karl Mayha led to a penalty kick and a yellow card after he stuck his arm out to prevent a cross. "I thought I was the goalkeeper" he said after the game trying to be humorous.

The Ravenspire side had at least 8 of the 12 shots on goal in the second half of the match. But van Meer was able to save everyone. Ravenspire had two breakaways that van Meer challenged one on one after the Lightning defense got caught on their heels, but both time van Meer snuffed out the chance with amazingly aggressive challenges, much to the disappointment of the partisan Ravenspire home crowd.

The Lighting's lone goal came in the 12th minute of play as, once again, van Meer was the one to come to the rescue. After picking a cross out of the air on a corner, van Meer recognized that the Ravenspire defense had pulled up, and immediately after catching the ball he launched his punt across midfield as forward Hanan Belagt sprinted onto the ball and pushed it nicely around the stranded Ravenspire keeper. That play was one of only seven times the Lightning controlled the ball in the Ravenspire defensive third.

Luckily for Svecia now, Group 1 could go to anyone. Tanah Burung still holds the lead with 38 points, but now Svecia and Ravenspire are tied for second with 37. Svecia has to play Alpha Commune, the bottom team in Group 1, at home for the final qualifying day, giving them an excellent chance of not only the win, but a big win. However, the Svecian defense will need to step up their game if they hope to have any chance of finishing in the top two spots and gaining an automatic berth in the final 32 teams.

Snub Nose 38

09-04-2004, 16:08

Snub Nose 38

09-04-2004, 16:29

...blah... blah...Margaret was wrong...blah...blah...(proves it)...blah...blah...
*wondering through the mansion, we come upon margaret sitting in a very comfortable looking easy chair in the library, eating cucumber sandwiches and reading poe's "fall of the house of usher". there is a similar chair a little way off, which we decide to sit in. it is rather comfortable. suddenly the door bursts open and in rushes the minister of athletics, olympics, and alcoholic beverages.*

- Margaret! Are you in here, Margaret?
- Shh!
- Oh! There you are!
- Shh! I said, "Shh!"
- I've been looking all over for you!
- Can you not hear me?
- Hadda find you! Lookit here!
- What are you on about?
- Lookit! You were wrong!
- ...I was what!
- ...um...wrong?
- Waddaya mean? How was I wrong?
- Look here, look!

*the minister flourishes a copy of this mornings scuttlebutt, opened to the sports pages, in front of margaret. she grabs his hand to hold the paper still, and reads. this is what she reads:*
[code:1:77bfcae9d4] Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Gesamtkuntswerk 45 14 3 0 28: 5 23
2. Halfassedstates 43 14 1 2 37: 9 28
3. Snub Nose 38 43 13 4 0 33: 6 27
4. Giant Zucchini 43 13 4 0 32: 6 26
5. Squornshelous 43 13 4 0 27: 6 21
6. Eauz 41 13 2 2 32: 5 27
7. Audioslavia 41 13 2 2 29: 6 23
[/code:1:77bfcae9d4]

*margaret finishes reading. there is a long pause. no one moves. the pause becomes very long.*

- You're never going to let me forget this, are you?

--------------
ooc: :wink:

Melmond

09-04-2004, 18:54

Today’s Performances In Vain
Melmond Loses Game, Kingsford Loses Out on Qualifying
By Henry Kalangalangalang of the Melmond City Herald

MELMOND CITY, MELMOND—An absolutely glorious day of sun and perfect temperatures greeted the sold out crowd of 35,000 who came to see the Fearless Farmers once again play in historic Farmers Field. Unlike their first game, a win against weaklings Skipdonia, the Fearless Farmers faced a true challenge in Kingsford, a team they lost to 2-0 in Kingsford. The Melmond National Team really wanted to prove to themselves that they can beat the big boys. Kingsford had something more on their plate than pride, an opportunity to recover from an early slump to qualify for World Cup 13 in Rejistania and Cockbill Street.
This game was much like the game in Kingsford between the two sides, physical and furious. Manager Felix Coostatlwak made sure his team was well prepared to counterattack the Kingsford style; however one thing the team didn’t count was the fire and determination of the side. The Kingsford defence was virtually impenetrable. The defenders swarmed to make interceptions of passes to the strikers and even when the strikers got the ball, they never got a clear shot at the goal or a well-timed tackle was placed.
The Kingsford strikers played very angry, especially striker Carl Shetfield, who you may remember was the recipient of the blow to the nether regions from Nina Steen in their earlier matchup. He now has Foreign Accent Syndrome as his pitch and resonation resembles those who are from the nation Avenging Altos. At the 13th minute, Shetfield let out his frustrations with a very hard strike and a very loud high pitched scream. Goalkeeper Cory Yankovic would have no problem stopping the ball, however the sirenesque wail of Shetfield absolutely pierced her eardrums and her ears started bleeding. The ball went past her as she was struggling to protect her ears. Shetfield scores at the 13th minute and Kingsford leads 1-nil.
The rest of the first half was rather brutal as both sides just seemed to freely push each other around for position to get the ball, make hard and even late tackles, and even trip opposing players. However, the referee made no calls, play on! Both sides left the pitch at half time banged up and bruised. Oddly, most of the bruises on the Fearless Farmers looked like grill marks.
Melmond came back to the pitch determined not to lie down in front of their home crowd, especially when they want to show that they can beat an international football power. Manager Felix Coostatlwak stepped up the pressure on the offence side, brining in midfielders Martin Goodwin and Camui Arai to play a hybrid of midfielder and striker. However, any false move or excellent play by Kingsford could leave the Melmond defense very vulnerable. Camui Arai was able to get a shot on goal, but Kingsford goalkeeper Pace Arano makes an immaculate diving save, deflecting the shot with his outstretched hand and George Quintana was able to clear it away.
At the 71st minute, Carl Shetfield made his presence heard in the entire city of Melmond. While storming toward the prepared defense, Shetfield lets out another high pitched scream. Suddenly, approximately 101 stray dogs from the streets of Melmond City find a way into the pitch and start rushing toward Shetfield. They ran over all the players on the pitch Melmond and Kingsford alike, except Shetfield. With everyone being trampled by Shetfield’s new found canine army, Shetfield had an easy shot at the net and scored his second goal of the game to make it 2-nil Kingsford. Who let the dogs out indeed?
By the time full time went, both teams left the pitch battered and bruised, the Fearless Farmers dejected because they were basically outplayed by the Kingsford side as well as having to deal with Shetfield’s loud howls and being mauled by dogs. Kingsford was upbeat and excited until they got a report from Sarsgard, Ravenspire: Svecia 1 – Ravenspire 0. This upset win for Svecia clinched the third and final playoff spot. Kingsford, picked by many publications to win the entire group, finds itself out of the World Cup for the first time in a while. Both teams battered and bruised and basically nothing to show for it.
If you are upset by the lackluster RPs by this publication, hey, were out and the next game is basically meaningless. On to the Cup of Harmony, which will be held, oh yeah, it is here in Melmond! Sign up if you didn’t qualify.

Goals
Shetfield, KIN 13th
Shetfield, KIN 71st

Cards
None

Standings

Other Group 1 Results
Alpha Commune 0 – Stalag 5 2
BSE Free Bovines 1 – Tanah Burung 2
Raptor Claw 2 – Skipdonia 1
Ravenspire 0 – Svecia 1

[code:1:ac4c405705]Group 1
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Tanah Burung 38 12 2 3 33: 9 24
2. Ravenspire 37 12 1 4 30:12 18
3. Svecia 37 11 4 2 23: 6 17
4. Kingsford 33 10 3 4 20: 9 11
5. Stalag 5 29 8 5 4 21:17 4
6. Melmond 19 5 4 8 14:24 -10
7. BSE Free Bovines 13 2 7 8 13:21 -8
8. Raptor Claw 13 3 4 10 9:25 -16
9. Skipdonia 10 3 1 13 6:24 -18
10.Alpha Commune 8 1 5 11 3:25 -22[/code:1:ac4c405705]

Melmond Team Stats
Goals: Critandi Unne (4), Chris Owen (4), Benjamin Leeb (2) Diallo Unne (1), Camui Arai (1), Martin Goodwin (1), Taxt (1)
Cards: Cristina Antunez (2), Jonsi Torrini (2), Paul “Edgy” Shields (1,1), Nina Steen (1), Phael Survigosis (1), Taxt (1)

Melmond National Team Schedule

@ Svecia L 4-0
v Skipdonia (Farmers Field, Melmond City) W 1-0
@ Tanah Burung L 2-0
v BSE Free Bovines (Lifedonations Stadium, Morales) W 1-0
@ Raptor Claw W 2-1
v Ravenspire (Microcosm Stadium, Aldi) L 2-0
@ Alpha Commune T 1-1
@ Kingsford L 2-0
v Stalag 5 (Walladome, Acosta) T 1-1
v Svecia (Unne Sports Temple, Unne) L 2-1
@ Skipdonia W 3-1
v Tanah Burung (Xpress Counsel Field, Cali) L 2-0
@ BSE Free Bovines L 3-1
v Raptor Claw (Woocat Books Ballpark, O’Connor) W 2-0
@ Ravenspire T 1-1
v Alpha Commune (MPNK Stadium, Faasen) T 0-0
v Kingsford (Farmers Field, Melmond City) L 2-0
@ Stalag 5

Next Game
at Stalag 5

As for World Cup 13 Qualifying goes, this game is basically meaningless. Stalag 5 has clinched fifth place and Melmond has clinched sixth place. However, both teams have entered into the Cup of Harmony and the match at the Walladome was rather interesting. So we may see these two teams go at it again. Melmond would love to prove that they are the better team than Stalag 5 with a win. Stalag 5 does not want the embarrassment of losing to a World Cup rookie, although Melmond is a relatively talented side if not inexperienced. Stalag 5 may have an easier time this time around as Manager Felix Coostatlwak is going to give those who haven’t had much playing time the start and letting most starters have a rest for the Cup of Harmony.

GK- Gina Unne
D- Jonsi Torrini
D- Kestrel Bluesummers
D- Scott Cheney
D- Nina Steen
M- David Bixler
M- Chara Effitont
M- Rainy Zoulthane
M- Cristina Antunez
F- Diallo Unne
F- Taxt

For tickets to Stalag 5 and the game call Therewegoes Travel Agency at 3-18-357-9009. Stalag 5 is basically one giant prison nation. That’s the impression we get anyway. If you want to bring a piece of Stalag 5 home to you, get yourself a pair of dayglo orange lederhosen. Wunderbar! And by the way, why is their stadium called the Graveyard if it is indoors? Shouldn’t be the Mausoleum or something like that?

Melmond

09-04-2004, 18:54

Hey non-qualfiers! Sign up for the Cup of Harmony part 5. It is in the beautiful nation of Melmond.

Sign Up Here! (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=3020119&highlight=#3020119)

Audioslavia

09-04-2004, 22:24

The Audico Advance
'slaves top group with one game to spare

Audioslavia took a heated match 1-0 through a last minute goal by Audioslavian wunderkid Jeff Jordan.

Jordan, who captained Audioslavia's U21 championship winning side, latched onto a pass from Callum Jensen, and with a shift in weight and a sweep of his left foot, beat a defender for pace and launched the ball and the 'slaves in the direction of WC13.

In doing so, Jordan threw Dennisov almost literally to the Lions, getting them involved in the three-way qualification dog-fight with The Lions of Bedistan, and the ressurgent Avenging Altos

[code:1:306d20960f]
Pts F GD
2. Bedistan 35 27 +20
3. Avenging Altos 35 32 +17
4. Dennisov 35 26 +13
[/code:1:306d20960f]

The important stats are right there. All sides are playing teams in the bottom four in the final game, so can all expect wins. Dennisov, from having a three point cushion in second place 24 hours ago, find themselves fourth on goal difference, and statistically the most likely to fall out of the qualifying race.

Basically, Dennisov HAVE to win their game. If they draw, they have to hope that Bedistan lose at home to Fahigland (which aint gonna happen) and Avenging Altos lose at home to Magnus Valierus... which could happen, as the Valerius side won out 3-2 in their first meeting.

[code:1:306d20960f]
Fixtures
Avenging Altos Vs Magnus Valerius
Bedistan Vs Fahigland
Dennisov Vs The Free Radicals of Mu-Mu
[/code:1:306d20960f]

You would have to expect all the sides to win, and with that, you'd have to expect Dennisov to be the team unfortunate enough to miss out on WC13. Even if AA win by the smallest amount, Dennisov, needing to make up four points on GD and lagging eight goals behind AA on Goals-Scored, would need a VERY heavy win to qualify. Bedistan, barring an unthinkable upset against Fahigland, look almost home and dry. All they have to do is score more than the Fahigs.

In the other matches, Audioslavia have an 'exhibition' match against bottom-side Resistencia. The 'slaves are undefeated in eleven games and a win or a draw here would see the 'slaves previous record broken.

In the other game, Iansisle play host to NEWI Cefn Druids, in a slightly less important fight for fifth place, which Iansisle currently occupy by two points.

g'nite bitches

Eauz

10-04-2004, 02:02

Football Eauz

Party!

Tonight throughout Eauz, fans will be partying, and watching the last match of qualifying round for Les Bleus. If Les Bleus win tonight, they will have acheived their first first placing ever for Les Bleus. Asking the fans around the city, they mostly said that no matter a win, loss or even a tie, they will partying for Les Bleus, and just to have a good time. Though, Les Bleus would perfer to win.

The last match of qualifying round pits Les Bleus against East Spaam, a side country split off from the country of Spaam. The last time these two teams met, was in Zuka, as Les Bleus beat East Spaam in a very close match 1 - 0. As for East Spaam, they have no point in winning or losing, because they will be finishing 4th place for the season. East Spaam though will be playing to act as a spoiler. To keep the moral of Les Bleus team up, the coach has preached that this could be the first time Les Bleus finish first which could help out in the elimination round.

The following table shows the top 7 teams of this qualifying round:

[code:1:20f2611591]
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Gesamtkuntswerk 45 14 3 0 28: 5 23
2. Halfassedstates 43 14 1 2 37: 9 28
3. Snub Nose 38 43 13 4 0 33: 6 27
4. Giant Zucchini 43 13 4 0 32: 6 26
5. Squornshelous 43 13 4 0 27: 6 21
6. Eauz 41 13 2 2 32: 5 27
7. Audioslavia 41 13 2 2 29: 6 23
[/code:1:20f2611591]

Currently, Les Bleus are sitting in 6th position, and could achieve better with a win in tonights match, though, they will need help because many of the top 5 are very strong teams.

Tonight, on Football Eauz, the match will be shown starting at 21:30pm local.

More after the match...

Tanah Burung

10-04-2004, 04:05

Beacons were lit along Tanah Burung's mountain border with the Empire of Eauz as the Crocodiles clinched a spot in the World Cup -- thanks to a narrow win over BSE Free Bovines and Svecia's defeat of Ravenspire, which eliminated another neighbour, Kingsford. A national holiday has been declared and party-goers are gathering alogn the already-open border.

The Crocodiles stampede towards qualification stalled badly with the career-ending injury of striker Theys Eluay, but the Crocs have clawed their way back to the top of the highly competrive Group 1. Before the injury, they had piled up 10 wins against only two losses; since then, they have been lacklustre with two wins, two draws and a loss to Kingsford.

The three qualifying spots are now set: Tanah Burung, Ravenspire and Svecia will go through. The Crocs are hopeful of top spot in the group as they face sad-sacks Raptor Claw in their final match, having already defeated them 5-0 on the road.

Recent results:
Svecia 1 Tanah Burung 1 (Nazir)
Tanah Burung 4 Skipdonia 0 (Miskita, Mutang, Bin Amude 2)
Kingsford 2 Tanah Burung 1 (Bin Amude)
BSE Free Bovines 1 Tanah Burung 2 (Mutang, Miskita)

Tanah Burung

10-04-2004, 04:05

*nails forums to a cross*

Squornshelous

10-04-2004, 04:23

Squornshelous Ranked 5th Among Qualifiers after 1-0 Win
Squornshelous has achieved a fifth place ranking among all teams after the 17th game of qualifying. Gesamkuntswerk, Halfassedstates, Snub Nose 38 and Giant Zucchini filled out the top five with Eauz and Audioslavia at sixth and seventh. In a completely random statistic, Squornshelous has played against all 6 of these teams, with the exception of SN38.

Squornshelous finished it's next to last game with an easy 1-0 win over last ranked New Cyprus. The single goal of the contest came midway through the second half, in the 53rd minute. New Cyprus had just taken a goal kick, and possesion was swapped at midfield, with Stikolsmur stealinjg the ball with an excellent tackle. After dribbling forward several yards, he made a quick pass to Rivera, who lobbed the ball over the head of a defender to Jones. Jones met the ball with his head, playing it up to Brooks. Brooks faked out a defender, and then dribbled to the corner, from where he sent the ball flying back across the field to Richards, in the opposite corner. Just as the keeper and the defense had reset themselves, Richards sent a floating cross into the penalty area, and right onto the potent right foot of Koren Jackson, who scored his 11th goal of qualifying.

Scoring Sumary:
S: Jackson 53

Squornshleous' Scorers:
Jackson: 11
Richards: 5
Rivera: 3
Brooks: 3
Jones: 2
Chavez: 2
Stikolsmur: 1

Group 7 Standings after Matchday 17
[code:1:328077703a]

Group 7
Pts W D L GF:GA GD Q/E
1. Squornshelous 43 13 4 0 27: 6 21 Q
2. Antaeus Rising 33 9 6 2 25: 8 17
3. Lemmitania 33 9 6 2 24: 9 15
4. Jeruselem 33 10 3 4 28:18 10
5. Creedence Clearwater 32 10 2 5 27:15 12
6. Grand master Mark 22 7 1 9 20:18 2 E
7. The Republican Army 18 6 0 11 15:26 -11 E
8. Haraki 13 3 4 10 9:30 -21 E
9. Jaegermeistria 8 1 5 11 7:27 -20 E
10.New Cyprus 3 0 3 14 6:31 -25 E

[/code:1:328077703a]

Oglethorpia

10-04-2004, 06:16

(I can't really think of anything. So this RP may be a tad halfassed. But that's what you get, folks.)

Egoson had been under fire for quite awhile from his greatest critics. "Some offense happy playing style, eh Egoson?" his naysayers jeered. "Seven draws! That's almost as many wins as Oglethorpia has! You're a sad sack of crap, thinkin' that's some superior offense." And here he sat, giving a press release live on the Bureaucratic Broadcasting Network Sports channel, trying to explain why his five forwards managed seven draws, a number nearly as great as their nine wins.

Egoson was nervous, waiting for the press conference to begin -- the Wonderteam manager quaked in his wheelchair. Egoson was confined to the wheeled-chair following a nasty injury with Polyesterhampton as a striker -- a career ending injury that did manage to land him a hefty amount of money from a lawsuit, but still take away his livelyhood.

And it might happen again if the press got enough dirt on him and the Association of Football saw it fit to fire Egoson from the Wonderteam helm. He had the Wonderteam 2nd in the tables, but still the press raised so much discussion over the Oglethorpian quality of play and whether or not it would carry them through the first round.

EGOSON: [to himself.]
They don't know i'm nervous. Keep it cool. Everything's fine so far...just answer the questions straight.

But Egoson's portly stature covered in khaki pants and a light blue longsleeved collared shirt showed his apprehension so obviously to all it would be a wonder if one missed it. As if Egoson were brandishing giant red flag with "shoot me" written on it in front of his enemies, his most hated critics, the Wonderteam manager's armpit sweat stains stood out like a sore thumb. One caught in a doorjam several times, and re-irratated by futher blunders. A massively swolen thumb that made its presence known to everyone in the room.

EGOSON: [to himself, again.]
Nope, they don't have a clue.

PRESS MEMBER #1:
MR. EGOSON!

Egoson, who seemed to have calmed himself down, immediately broke into sweat again, searching for answers to all the possiblities of questions he might be asked -- might be grilled on. Might be caught off guard on, giving his enemies further ammunition to claim him a timid, cowardly manager slow to act and incapable.

PRESS MEMBER #1:
Yes, Dick Egoson. You field five forwards -- a revolutionary formation taking the Oglethorpian penchant to attack often to a whole new level.

EGOSON:
Sir, I-i-iiii- I try.

PRESS MEMBER #1:
AND YET with five forwards the Wonderteam has still managed SEVEN draws -- that's almost as many wins you've managed.

Egoson failed to realize even with all the hubbub about the high number of draws Oglethorpia has had, the Wonderteam still sits second in their group -- and failed to realize that his critics omitted this fact as well. But Egoson didn't notice, and continued to allow himself to be smeared on live television.

EGOSON:
Well-we- we've played some t-tough teams. Hard to get our guys in there as it-it is...

PRESS MEMBER #1:
It was billed as a Wonderteam that would provide an "electrifying" offense. Since, you have failed to come through.

EGOSON:
I didn't write that.

Egoson sweated more.

EGOSON:
We did score four against Pablitopi-

PRESS MEMBER #1:
CAN IT EGOSON! Those idiots were all over the field in confusion. Two of those were own goals anyways. Five forwards and you never make anything of it.

Egoson once again quaked in his wheelchair, which seemed to rattle uncontrollably -- and then stop suddenly only to begin again. Egoson had no answers. Sure, he had the team in position to qualify -- and still the press managed to succeed in their smear campaigns saying how few goals Oglethorpia scored and how many draws they ended up with even with five forwards on the offensive side of the ball.

PRESS MEMBER #2:
So Mr. Ego-

And then Dick Egoson, whose light blue collared shirt was completely darkened with sweat -- stood up. Dick Egoson STOOD UP.

PRESS MEMBER #3:
IT'S A MIRACLE! DICK HATH SHED HIS WHEELCHAIR! HE CAN WALK!

PRESS MEMBER #4:
You god damn fool. The man's been playing us this whole time! A lying cheat!

At first, the press member called a damn fool hung his head in shame -- before raising it again in outrage at the realization that Dick Egoson really wasn't a budding football star incapacitated by a debilitating football injury, but just using it for his advantage.

PRESS MEMBER #5:
He used his handicap for pity! So that's why Polyesterhampton hired him!

PRESS MEMBER #1:
And let's not forget that lawsuit money. THAT EGOSON STOLE! He never was incapacitated by that injury.

PRESS MEMBER #2:
A thousand curses unto you, for deceiving us so!

Egoson, watching the outrage of the press members unfold, all the while waiting for his chance to speak, capitalized on his chance to speak and spoke.

EGOSON:
I can't deal with this! I quit! You won't see anymore of old Dick Egoson in international football.

PRESS MEMBER #3:
POLYESTERHAMPTON SUCKS ANYWAYS!

[Exit Egoson.]

And with those events coming to a close on live television, Egoson had been revealed as not being paripalegic at all, and had quit his management position of the Wonderteam -- their leadership direction now unknown to all.

Giant Zucchini

10-04-2004, 06:31

Giant Zucchini overcomes Weegies for 100th international win, Urk scores Zucchini's 290th international goal.

The blurb...

Kaze Progressa

10-04-2004, 09:05

Kicked Off - THE GRAND FINALE

Kaza Sports Square. The Progressans are already out, and the final insult to them came when Kaza Sports Square showed, not the KP game in West Gaddland, but a game determined as 'more interesting' - Oddslavo vs Hazatak.

Voice over tannoy: PROGRESSANS! THIS IS HOW YOU PLAY THE GAME!

The fans start cheering for Oddslavo, not having ever heard of Hazatak, and watched in admiration as Oddslavo played the way the Progressans could, perhaps should, play - quick passing, clever running off the ball, and plenty of determination in defence. Within six minutes, they had the lead. The Progressans started cheering.

Fans: ARE YOU WATCHING, MR CATRAR? ARE YOU WATCHING, MR CATRAR?

A bored operator finds a remote control and enters Progressa TeleSport Interactive. Plenty of games to choose from here... the operator chooses Dance 2 Revolution vs Compound Interest.

Operator (over tannoy): HERE COME THE DANCERS!

It's half-time in this match, the score 1-0 to the revolutionary dancers. The substitutes are having a DDR competition, with credits provided by the CI players who are demanding 500% interest on their return. The dancers are threatening a revolution as they refuse the offer.

Jay-Jay Step: 500%? That's insane! You go on the machine and see if you can beat me.

A CI player rises to the challenge, and selects B4U's Trick steps. The CI player falls flat on his backside within 15 seconds and fails, while Jay-Jay Step gets an AA.

Jay-Jay Step: That's the revolution! The Dance Dance Revolution!

The operator yawns and flicks to the KP game. It's 0-0. Almost everyone leaves the square.

Fans: WE WON'T PUT UP WITH THIS SLANI! WE WON'T PUT UP WITH THIS SLANI!

Some of the fans run into the screen with hammers, footballs and remnants of the Kaza University shock machine. They smash the plasma screen clean through, causing a massive electricity surge that runs through the square, carried by the fans to each other.

Several hours later, it is confirmed that thirty people have died and one hundred and sixty-eight were injured through electric shocks and falling remains of the - very heavy - screen. A day of national mourning is called a week later, attended by manager Chares Catrar among 300,000 others. Among the speakers is KPFA president, Farini Buartna.

FB: May I express my deep sympathy for the relatives of the dead and ultimate responsibility for the tragic events of last week. It was our fault for breeding a culture of failure in Progressan sport that drove these fans to quite understandable anger in the circumstances.

We have come a long way backwards in just a few short years. The days when we were one of the finest qualifying teams in the world, when our club sides were performing so well in international competition as well, are over. Now only the wreckage of that runaway train of Progressan football remains... and it must be ultimately my fault, which is why I announce my resignation with immediate effect. From now on, the KPFA will be led by my deputy, Stili Falanu, who I hope can right some of my wrongs.

May I also announce my sympathy for the family of Sir Jim Whites, who died recently in Liverpool England. He was a colossus of the international game - did everything a manager could, including of course winning the World Cup, and did it in such style as well. The world of football in Liverpool England and beyond is a poorer place without him, and he will be sorely missed.

Tears are barely restrained among the fans present, mourning the death of football as we know it in two separate nations.

Several days later, the government announces it will cut funding for football by 30% over two years. Once, news like this would've been cause for anger in its own right. Now it is universally supported. The editorial of left-wing paper The World Today called it 'the first piece of sense this government has ever shown'. And Progressan sport was dead.

Spaam

10-04-2004, 09:27

United Spaam Sports Weekly

Happy Easter! Spaam Rocks The Cazbah!

A Matter Of Formality

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/spaam.jpg VS http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/zimbabwe--53.jpg

Spaam's last match against the hapless Pablitopians was merely a formality, as they had already wrapped up the top position in their group,
and were well on their way to the World Cup in Rejistania. The Pablitopians managed a couple of chances, but they were easily defused
by the Spaamanian goalkeeper Alátari Súrion, who was on her 7th straight clean sheet, and their focus was more on defense. Spaam scored
twice in the match, Eromleb in the 20th minute from a corner kick, and Lûin in the 70th with a solo run from the middle of the pitch. Pablitopia did
well to limit the Spaamanians to just two goals in Allasea World Cup Stadium, but in the end, they stood little chance against the Football
Überpower.

Spaam 2
(Eromleb 20, Lûin 70)
Pablitopia 0

Alátari Súrion Wins Spaamanian Sportsperson Of The Year

Alátari Súrion was named Spaamanian Sportsperson of the Year, with her incredible contribution to the national football team. She played a pivotal
part in getting Spaam to their 7th World Cup, and has already been touted as the best goalkeepr Spaam has ever seen. The ceremony, which was
held in Artánis Town Hall, also named the Senior Sportsperson of the Year, which was won by Don Gillen, who recently won the World Senior
Lemming Skinning Championships, among other.

http://www.elizadushkuonline.com/tru/img/galleries/fullshots/01_promotional/season01/tru004.jpg

Spaam's Qualifying Review

Spaam's qualifying season proved to be their best ever, with an incredible 12-4-2 record, including a 7-1-1 record at home. Spaam's only losses
were to the Wonderteam, Oglethorpia, a team which Spaam has never beaten in World Cup level competition. However, for the second
qualifying season in a row, Spaam has managed to outpeform them, proving that the Spaamanian team of old may have returned. Spaam's
had one draw to each of the three teams beneath Spaam and Oglethorpia, but managed to win their other match against them. The only upset of the
season was a scoreless draw in Aerigia, with Spaam being otherwise consistent in their performance.

Alátari Súrion has been named the greatest goalkeeper Spaam has ever seen, and is currently at her peak, allowing only 7 goals in her 17
qualifying matches. This includes a clean sheet for her past 7 games, or almost 12 hours in which she has not let a goal through. The Súrion
triplets have been the core of the Spaamanian defense and playmaking, with Elen even scoring a goal from her midfield position, making them an
indispensible part of the team. However, it was Spaam's attack that pushed them to the top, with 35 goals scored in 18 games, at a rate of
almost 2 goals per match, currently the 6th best in the world. Meren Lûin headed the forwards, scoring 16 goals in her 17 matches, with captain
Nala Eromleb also proving a force, with 9 in his 14 matches. Also worth mentioning is Eman Olisade, the Alhana Catherine born wonder kid, who
scored 5 goals in 13 matches, and will prove indispensable in the coming years.

Group 9 Qualifying Review

The last matchday was mostly a matter of formality, except for the Alex The Tall vs Runaway Moose match, which Alex The Tall needed to win by
4 goals to qualify for the World Cup. Alex The Tall did indeed win at home, but only 2-0, meaning Runaway Moose kept the last qualifying
position in Group 9. There were no suprises in two of the other matches, Aerigia and West Gaddland both going down at home to Gaddland and
Kaze Progressa 1-0. The final match saw Oglethorpia being denied a final win at home, Praying2God getting the equaliser late in the second half to
grab a 1-1 draw.

Spaam of course finished on top of Group Nine on 40 points, 5 points ahead of second place, with their best qualifying performance ever. This
was the second time in a row that Spaam and Oglethorpia finished in first and second position in World Cup qualifying. Oglethorpia's incredible
defense meant they only dropped one match during qualifying, but their attack was not as good, winning them only half of their games. This was
enough, however, to give them second place with 35 points. The last qualifying spot went down to the wire, with Runaway Moose and Alex The
Tall finishing equal third on 33 points, but Runaway Moose's goal difference proved enough to give them place.

Kaze Progressa, last years joint World Cup hosts, were disappointing this year, only managing 5th position on 31 points. Kaze could well have
made the cut, as they only lost 3 of their games, if they hadn't succumbed to so many draws. Praying2God's 6th place on 29 points is misleading, as
they were a top performer, and could've also made the cut, this time if they hadn't lost a couple of their matches. They should be a power for
the years to come. Gaddland the giant killers were disappointing, finishing 7th with only 23 points, but they caused enough trouble amongst
the higher teams to prove that they aren't a team to be dismissed.

West Gaddland, Pablitopia, and Aerigia were not in the same league as the other 7 teams in the group, filling the minor placings with 10, 7, and 5
points respectively. Aerigia managed to win the wooden spoon, but could've done so much better if they had a better attacking force, as they
scored just one goal in the entire preliminary competition. It was a testament to their defensive prowress to only allow 23 goals in their 18

games, including their massive 0-0 upset draw of Spaam in the 4th round. It will be interesting to see what impact these new nations have on the
football world, especially Spaam's Heartland neighbour, Aerigia.

[code:1:77c157e2d8]Group 9 P W D L F A GD Pts
Spaam 18 12 4 2 35 10 +25 40
Oglethorpia 18 9 8 1 20 6 +14 35
Runaway Moose 18 10 3 5 27 15 +12 33
Alex The Tall 18 9 6 3 24 14 +10 33
Kaze Progressa 18 8 7 3 22 14 +8 31
Praying2God 18 8 5 5 23 17 +6 29
Gaddland 18 6 5 7 15 16 -1 23
West Gaddland 18 3 1 14 7 31 -24 10
Pablitopia 18 1 4 13 5 33 -28 7
Aerigia 18 0 5 13 1 23 -22 5
[/code:1:77c157e2d8]

Spaam's Qualifying Overview

[code:1:77c157e2d8]W: Spaam 2 Kaze Progressa 1
W: Praying2God 1 Spaam 2
W: Spaam 1 Gaddland 0
D: Aerigia 0 Spaam 0
L: Spaam 0 Oglethorpia 1
W: West Gaddland 0 Spaam 4
D: Spaam 1 Alex The Tall 1
W: Spaam 4 Runaway Moose 2
W: Pablitopia 0 Spaam 5

D: Kaze Progressa 1 Spaam 1
W: Spaam 3 Praying2God 0
W: Gaddland 0 Spaam 1
W: Spaam 2 Aerigia 0
L: Oglethorpia 3 Spaam 1
W: Spaam 3 West Gaddland 0
W: Alex The Tall 0 Spaam 3
D: Runaway Moose 0 Spaam 0
W: Spaam 2 Pablitopia 0
[/code:1:77c157e2d8]

[code:1:77c157e2d8]Spaam P W D L F A GD Pts
Total 18 12 4 2 35 10 +25 40
Home 9 7 1 1 18 5 +13 22
Away 9 5 3 1 17 5 +12 18
[/code:1:77c157e2d8]

[code:1:77c157e2d8]No Name P G Avge
[2] Meren Lûin 17 16 0.94
[1] Nala Eromleb 14 9 0.67
[6] Eman Olisade 13 5 0.38
[7] Maddi Elrik 13 3 0.23
[13] Mark Zevlak 5 1 0.20
[12] Zarí Karskí 9 1 0.11
[4] Elen Súrion 17 1 0.06
[/code:1:77c157e2d8]

[code:1:77c157e2d8]No Name P G Avge
[3] Alátari Súrion 17 7 0.41
[14] Fin Dudek 1 3 3.00
[/code:1:77c157e2d8]

Liverpool England

10-04-2004, 09:46

The World Cup 13 Update - WC13 Proper

Qualifying Table
[code:1:dfba1b81ec]Group 8
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
Q Europa Brittania 42 14 0 4 38: 8 30
Q Eauz 42 13 3 2 33: 6 27
Q Liverpool England 36 12 3 3 30:11 19 +
4. East Spaam 30 9 3 6 27:15 12
5. The Redavic Union 26 8 2 8 19:22 -3
6. Gormith 23 6 5 7 18:20 -2
7. Tadjikistan 23 6 5 7 15:25 -10
8. Just an egg 11 2 5 11 8:27 -19
9. Intelligent Madness 11 2 5 11 10:34 -24
10. Zephyrs 5 0 5 13 5:35 -30

+Liverpool England was deducted 3 points [/code:1:dfba1b81ec]

Liverpool England finished in the third qualifying spot after the death of WC8-winning manager Sir Jim Whites prompted the FALE to forfeit the 0-3 default loss to The Redavic Union, which also induced a three-point penalty, which did not matter as the team were not catchable, even if East Spaam had won, which they did not even do.

World Cup 13 in Rejistania and Cockbill Street is set to get underway, we will give you the draw when it happens.

Meanwhile, people around the world mourn Sir Jim Whites, Eauz and Kaze Progressa have reported tributes to the World Cup winner around their nations. His funeral will be before the first matchday of WC13.

Audioslavia

10-04-2004, 11:25

SINGERS CHOKE
Avenging Altos held 2-2
Bedistan and Dennisov progress

Avenging Altos must have been laughing their asses off at half time today. 2-0 up against a dysmal Magnus Valerius side, they were recieving news that Dennisov were well off their five-goal target for getting their GD up against AA.

45 minutes later, with the score at 2-2 and AA sitting two points behind the big boys in fourth place, it was the Dennish who were having the last laugh.

AA, who came through their last eight games almost undefeated and amazingly caught up with the top three and threatened to take one of Bedistan's or Dennisov's qualification spots, just choked when it came down to it and handed a decidedly average Magnus Valerius team a point.

[code:1:8d07521df2]
Group 10
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
Q Audioslavia 44 14 2 2 31: 6 25
Q Bedistan 38 11 5 2 30: 7 23
Q Dennisov 38 12 2 4 28:13 15
4. Avenging Altos 36 11 3 4 34:17 17
5. Iansisle 29 8 5 5 18:13 5
6. NEWI Cefn Druids 24 7 3 8 20:20 0
7. Magnus Valerius 22 5 7 6 19:22 -3
8. Fahigland 11 3 2 13 6:36 -30
9. Free Radicals of Mu-Mu 6 1 3 14 7:31 -24
10. Resistencia 5 1 2 15 5:33 -28 [/code:1:8d07521df2]

Audioslavia blooded some of their youngsters in a 2-0 win over Resistencia which puts the 'slaves six points clear on top of the group (an unprecedented margin for Audioslavian qualification with the exception of WC6). Bedistan did their job admirably, pwning Fahigland 3-0 at home. Dennisov didnt look up to the task of knocking six past Mu-Mu, but their 2-0 win and AA's slip-up puts them through.

In the other match, Iansisle defeated NEWI Cefn Druids to take fifth place.

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake, g'nite bitches

Audioslavia

10-04-2004, 11:35

GOT-2-GO called English band Muse, “Radiohead imitators.” As the two fought, attacks such as purple nerples, Jivaro fingernail pinches, and the painful and very un-PC Indian Burn were dished out by the two players. Both were given red cards as Phael Survigosis was ejected and GOT-2-GO got to go.

Damn right! Anyone saying Muse are anything like Radiohead gets the wedgie of their lives :P

Time is running out on Melmond and Alpha Commune was in bliss. They escape Melmond with their dreamed egalitarian tie.

harr harr :p

Googlewoop

10-04-2004, 11:49

Sorry to interupt, but how are you deciding the results of these matches, and goalscorers etc? Just interested.

Snub Nose 38

10-04-2004, 12:13

Sorry to interupt, but how are you deciding the results of these matches, and goalscorers etc? Just interested.
The results of the first few World Cups were decided by dice. Switched to spreadsheet generated random numbers until this Cup, which is being done with Java.

Everything else is RP, including which player(s) score. As long as the final score remains what was generated, anything goes. If your opponent RPs the match before you, we try to maintain consistancy.

Jeruselem

10-04-2004, 13:07

Jeruselem Government News

Jeruselem fall at final hurdle to qualify

Lemmitania and Antaeus Rising joined Squornshelous to qualify in Group 7 as Creedence Clearwater and Jeruselem missed out. Antaeus Rising and Jeruselem squared off as other teams played weaker teams and won with no problem.

Antaeus Rising won 3-1 but the scoreline did not reflect the true nature of the match. The AR keeper was kept busy all game and was not allowed to relax while their forwards managed to score crucial goals to put down the challege from Jeruselem.

Devastated Captain Rabbi Goldstein spoke to the press "So close, yet so far away from qualifying. At least we proved to those teams out there who think we are walkovers, we can match it with the best and win games in finals type situations. In this case, we failed but our core team is ready to WC XIV. We can qualify."

Group 7: Antaeus Rising 3 Jeruselem 1
Group 7: Creedence Clearwater 3 Haraki 0
Group 7: Jaegermeistria 0 Lemmitania 4
Group 7: New Cyprus 1 Grand master Mark 3
Group 7: The Republican Army 0 Squornshelous 2

[code:1:887700b596]
Group 7
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
Q Squornshelous 46 14 4 0 29: 6 23
Q Lemmitania 36 10 6 2 28: 9 19
Q Antaeus Rising 36 10 6 2 28: 9 19
4. Creedence Clearwater 35 11 2 5 30:15 15
5. Jeruselem 33 10 3 5 29:21 8
6. Grand master Mark 25 8 1 9 23:19 4
7. The Republican Army 18 6 0 12 15:28 -13
8. Haraki 13 3 4 11 9:33 -24
9. Jaegermeistria 8 1 5 12 7:31 -24
10. New Cyprus 3 0 3 15 7:34 -27
[/code:1:887700b596]

One Red Dot

10-04-2004, 14:27

The Red Dot Informant

Close Calls Experienced - ORD Qualifies

It was definitely a sigh of relief as the Wolves finally ended their qualifying campaign, softly landing on 3rd place.

Six matchdays ago, the One Red Dot Wolves were struggling on fourth place, and losing to Timway 0-1, to Sliponia 2-3 and a 1-1 draw against Giant Zucchini did not help to improve the Wolves' position. It was a race between Sliponia, The Weegies and One Red Dot to claim a spot in the Cup.

However, it was almost luck which brought One Red Dot up. On Matchday 16, One Red Dot defeated The Weegies 2-0 help suppresed their score and Sliponia's draw against Giant Zucchini helped slowed their score.

On Matchday 17, One Red Dot still remained at fourth after defeating The Alan Belmore Army 1-0, but Giant Zucchini's win over The Weegies and Sliponia's unexpected lost to NASTIC 2 helped bring One Red Dot closer to qualification.

On Matchday 18, One Red Dot's 1-0 win over Lennon Marx, together with Sliponia and The Weegies draw against each other, let One Red Dot slip through the cracks in the walls to qualification glory.

Now, Giant Zucchini, One Red Dot and Sliponia have earned the right to play in Rejistania or Cockbill Street.

Group 6 Qualification Tables
[code:1:5446127a5a]
Group 6
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
Q Giant Zucchini 46 14 4 0 36: 6 30
Q One Red Dot 36 11 3 4 25: 9 16
Q Sliponia 35 10 5 3 28:15 13
4. The Weegies 34 11 1 6 28:16 12
5. Timway 33 10 3 5 27:11 16
6. NASTIC 2 29 8 5 5 15: 9 6
7. The Alan Belmore Army 15 4 3 11 10:29 -19
8. Lennon Marx 10 2 4 12 8:25 -17
9. Jagiellonia 10 2 4 12 8:37 -29
10. Crystilakere 5 1 2 15 5:33 -28
[/code:1:5446127a5a]

Brazillico

10-04-2004, 14:41

The Brazillico Advance

So Close, No Matter How Far...
Couldn't be much more from the heart

Brazillico's 1-0 defeat over Aquilla gave them a fighting chance at World Cup qualification, but a TnUI victory over some unknown, low-level team who shouldn't have even been mentioned in the same breath as the other nations who entered, has yet again lead to Brazillico's demise. And nothing else matters.

Brazillico's 1-0 victory over Aquilla may well have been their sharpest defensive performance to date, smothering all chances the potent Aquillan defense were able to manufacture for themselves. Brazillico's offense looked sharp as well, creating a wealth of chances against an Aquillan defense which had been the most reliable in all of Group 2.

The Chili Bats' pressure finally paid off in the 29th Minute, as Brazillico brought the scoreline to 1-0 in their favor. Junior Socrates passed the ball to a streaking Sandro Cannon, who shimmied aside the Aquillan defender and took a shot, forcing the Aquillan goaltender to a fine save with his left foot. Alex Cannon was Johnny on the spot to collect the rebound, chipping it into the awning cage with the Aquillan defender out of position.

Aquilla's defense began to tighten the screws and regain the form they'd shown all qualifying campaign after that early goal. Since no one else scored any more goals for the rest of the game and Brazillico didn't qualify, nothing else matters.

While this day has been declared a national holiday for sulking in Brazillico, the rest of the world is in ratches, as this 1-0 scoreline equates to Aquilla also missing out on the World Cup. The much-maligned Aquilla have qualified ever since WC8 and this defeat means that Aquilla will have go to Rejistania/Cockbill Street as spectatators, or perhaps popcorn vendors, if they wish to catch any of the World Cup action.

Brazillico needs to translate heartbreak into optimism over the next few months, as they try to gain momentum for future competitions. This has been Brazillico's best qualification run to date since their return to international football, winning 12 out of 18 matches and finishing a mere point away from 3rd place. But for now, nothing will cheer up Brazillico no matter what they say, because nothing else matters.

Brazillico 1
A. Cannon 29

Aquilla 0

The Weegies

10-04-2004, 14:50

Told You So
Optimism of first half of qualifying brought to a crashing halt as Weegies just edged out

And so it ends. The best performance we'd given in qualifying for a long time, and we are edged out. Still, we can take solace from the fact we were ranked 56th (OOC: Correct me if I'm wrong) and still almost got to the highest level of international football: the World Cup Finals.

But we are not Rejistania or Cockbill Street bound, and lessons will be learned as our lads shape up again for the the next campaign in four years. Mostly in goalkeeping. Sartré's displays for the team have been, at best, woeful, and can we risk another major injury to our star goalkeeper if this is the performance we receive from Lyle's second choice? It seems Sartré loves his club more than his country, judging by his performances in the Champions League; the Thistle haven't lost a match yet in their group. Maybe there are things to be worked out between Sartré and Lyle, and maybe there aren't. But this was, ultimately disappointing to fans who had been so elated with our earlier performances.

Maybe that's our problem. We expect too much, or too little. Our boys get overconfident, or underconfident. Our national game is a whole morass of recriminations, rivalries and swinging, optimistic fans. But then, would our football be as colourful or dramatic without it?

Let's hope for a good WC XIV. And goodluck to Giant Zucchini, One Red Dot, and Sliponia.

Snub Nose 38

10-04-2004, 15:19

ooc: wrote long rp. wrote several "rules". forum ate all. pc went wacko. spent 3 hours "un-wackoing" pc. currently hate pc's in general, and the forum for good measure. taking break from technology/automation now. back later.

*TB - excellent idea of what to do with forum. And timely.*

Europa Brittania

10-04-2004, 15:28

Cup proper for world veterans.

WOLD CUP XIII- Two time world champions Europa Brittania today booked their place in the next stages of the premier international football tournament with a comprehensive 3-0 win over Zephyrs. The moral boosting win, courtesy of a double from Kiwitz and a bullet header from Lomardi, coupled with Eauz drawing to East Spaam one apiece sent EB top of group eight.

The disappointing loss to Liverpool England, especially in such a tight knit group, could have well been a devastating occurence. However with the mettle that has captured them two World Cups, Europa Brittania and her fans were dogged in their determination.

Alistair Hughes, EB manager, added-

"I dislike qualifcation intensely. There is a massive gamble with each and every match when drawn against credible footballing forces, such as LE and Eauz. A single result can totally re-arrange the group. We played luck a little, but rode through with excellent performances on the whole. We're on the road to a third championship. We've travelled this path thirteen times now, and only twice have we reached a happy ending. But we'll try once more."

In memorial to the passing of Liverpool England legend Sir Jim Whites, the Europa Brittania national team will don black armbands for the remainder of the tournament. A one minute silence is also tentively scheduled for the next matchday.

NASTIC 2

10-04-2004, 16:19

The Nastic Nation wishes all those nations that qualified for World Cup Thirteen all the best.

[code:1:dfde705662]Group 6
P W D L F A Pts
1. Giant Zucchini 18 14 4 0 36 6 46
2. One Red Dot 18 11 3 4 25 9 36
3. Sliponia 18 10 5 3 28 15 35
4. The Weegies 18 11 1 6 28 16 34
5. Timway 18 10 3 5 27 11 33
6. NASTIC 18 8 5 5 15 9 29
7. The Alan Belmore Army 18 4 3 11 10 29 15
8. Lennon Marx 18 2 4 12 8 25 10
9. Jagiellonia 18 2 4 12 8 37 10
10. Crystilakere 18 1 2 15 5 33 5[/code:1:dfde705662]

How we failed to qualify only letting in 1 goal every 2 games we will never know, But winning our final 6 games didnt help us either.

Snub Nose 38

10-04-2004, 16:48

RULES 1, 2, 3, 4 & 5 - "RP"

RULE 1: The result/score of a match as reported by the host(s) is official, and may not be changed in role play.

RULE 2: If your opponent reports a match first, your RP should be consistent with what has already been reported. However, if your opponents RP contains an error (such as assigning a goal to a player who is no longer on your team) you may, IC, correct the error.

RULE 3: No insulting or rude behavoir toward another player in World Cup threads. You CAN disagree - just do it civily. This does not apply to in character (IC) role play. Take any real life, out of character (OOC) conflict to another thread or forum.

RULE 4: Anything that does not violate an established WCC RP rule is allowed. If getting real close to god moding is being used in support of humor it is allowed. Example - creation of ridiculous technology, like that created by Snub Nose 38 to resurect football players from the dead, or that used by Tanah Burung to create a race of sentient evisceratomatoes.

RULE 5: Humor is encouraged. Wild imagination is encouraged. Even putting in something about the football matches is encouraged.

Unless someone comes up with a SUPER reason why one of these rules should be dumped, they are in effect from now on. Please abide by them. If you have a complaint (a real complaint - don't waste their time, please) about someone violating rules 1, 2, 4 or 5, please take it to the Rules Committee for a...what else?...ruling.

Roberts Rule of Order Committee is empowered to gently enforce Rule 3.

Snub Nose 38

10-04-2004, 17:10

RULES 10, 11 & 12 - Mechanics

RULE 10: The KPB Ranking system is the official ranking system of the WCC. Kaze Progressa will share the mechanics of the KPB system with the other members of the History & Statistics Committee. At the end of each World Cup the KPB Ranks will be published - as computed. Sides will be listed in order from top rank to bottom, and numbered (so simple guys like SN38 can figure out just where we stand).

RULE 11: There will be a Role Playing (RP) Bonus. Exactly how the RP Bonus will be done for each World Cup will be explained by the host(s) in their bid. If the host proposes to use a method that has already been used, simply stating who used it for which WC will suffice. When the WCC selects the host(s) they are also selecting that method of RP Bonus. The RP Bonus MUST be small, slightly bigger for "Newbs" who RP, and neither based on quality (which is subjective) or quantity (which leads to endless and boring rps put there only for the bonus). SIMPLE is key - remember, it is realy there only to encourage us all to RP, not to improve our chances.

RULE 12: The exact method of generating results will be explained by the host(s) in their bid. If the host proposes to use a method that has already been used, simply stating who used it for which WC will suffice. When the WCC selects the host(s) they are also selecting that method of generating results.

Snub Nose 38

10-04-2004, 17:11

RULE 0 - Generating Rules

RULE 0: The President may not generate more than 8 rules on any given day.

The Belmore Family

10-04-2004, 17:22

RULE 0 - Generating Rules

RULE 0: The President may not generate more than 8 rules on any given day.
But isn't that the 9th....

*Wanders off Confused*

Snub Nose 38

10-04-2004, 17:58

RULE 0 - Generating Rules

RULE 0: The President may not generate more than 8 rules on any given day.
But isn't that the 9th....

*Wanders off Confused*Well...um...it is rule number zero. So, adding 0 to 8 = 8...

(that was pretty weak :wink: )

Lovebug

10-04-2004, 21:39

LOVEBUG DAILY UPDATE PAGE

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/lovebug.jpg

The Group and Rankings

[code:1:6bbeecc8a2]
Group 5

Dance 2 Revolution 3 Compound Interest 0
Lovebug 0 The Lowland Clans 1
The Belmore Family 1 Lovisa 0
Vilita 4 Aserjin 2
Warnocks Wizards 1 Snub Nose 38 0

Pts W D L GF:GA GD
Q Snub Nose 38 43 13 4 1 33: 7 26
Q The Belmore Family 34 11 4 3 19: 8 11
Q The Lowland Clans 30 10 0 8 28:12 16
4. Dance 2 Revolution 30 8 6 4 16: 9 7
5. Lovisa 24 7 3 8 16:16 0
6. Lovebug 14 4 2 12 14:31 -17
7. Aserjin 12 2 6 10 6:25 -19
8. Compound Interest 12 3 3 12 8:29 -21
9. Vilita 11 3 2 13 8:26 -18
10. Warnocks Wizards -40 12 4 2 20: 5 15
[/code:1:6bbeecc8a2]

TODAY'S MATCHUP - FEATURES LOVEBUG & THE LOWLAND CLANS

A MESSAGE FROM THE LNSNN - Apau Ka inoa O aloha, ho'okahi wa hou Ka inoa O aloha!
Keonimakaio http://espn.starwave.com/i/talent/madden/head.jpg and Kanielapakelika http://espnradio.espn.go.com/i/columnists/patrick_dan_c.jpg here at Lovebug National Stadium. http://www.worldstadiums.com/stadium_pictures/europe/germany/bayern/munich_olimpia.jpg

PLEASE STAND FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM OF LOVEBUG

http://www.angelfire.com/rnb/jdm66/MartinaMcBri/mmbbrian209.jpg
Un homme viennent au nom de l'homme de l'amour un viennent et misent un homme viennent, il pour justifier un homme pour renverser Au nom de l'amour ce qui plus au nom de l'amour au nom de l'amour ce qui plus au nom de l'amour Un homme s'est accroché à un homme de la barrière une de barbelé qu'il résistent à un homme lavé sur une plage vide. Un homme trahi avec un baiser Au nom de l'amour ce qui plus au nom de l'amour au nom de l'amour ce qui plus au nom de l'amour (personne ne vous aiment...) Le matin tôt, le huitième décembre a tiré des anneaux dehors dans le ciel de Memphis libre enfin, ils a pris votre vie où ils ne pourraient pas prendre votre fierté Au nom de l'amour ce qui plus au nom de l'amour au nom de l'amour ce qui plus au nom de l'amour au nom de l'amour ce qui plus au nom de l'amour...

“CHEERS RISE FROM THE STANDS”

Kanielapakelika – Hello Sports Fans, welcome to the last broadcast of the WC 13 season we are here at Lovebug National Stadium to announce the team awards and such…but first a wrap up of today’s match up… Keonimakaio….

Keonimakaio – It was the last game of the season, the already eliminated Bulldog’s looked just to go out there and have fun, in the last match up with Lowland Clans, the game was delayed by the rains, today the skies were clear and the sun was shining brightly. The Clans walked out on the field for the match-up in an interesting predicament due to The Wizards ceasing existence, they had a chance to make it to the next round – if they lost today and Dance 2 Revolution won they were out, if they won whether Dance 2 Revolution won or not (because they have more actual victories). So it was a due or die situation that quite nearly went the opposite direction, until the second half both teams remained scoreless. Coming back from the locker rooms after the half, The Clans appeared more pumped than when they left, knowing that they next few minutes would make or break the team. We managed to fend them off until mid-way through the second when on a long kick from midfield by Chee Blackwing, a forward for the Clans to fellow forward Mark Jeremy for the quick score. The Clan led 1-0, now all they had to do was hold it for 10 more minutes…In the end the Clan was victorious and will be heading to the next round of match-ups in Rejistania and/or Cockbill. As for Lovebug well, this is the end to our first international competition – we go out having won 4 match ups, tying twice, and losing 12 out 18 match ups. The team will be starting the Harmony Cup soon but before that we need to end the season with the team awards… Kanielpakelika…

Kanielapakelika – We’d like to congratulate all the teams who have made it to the second round especially group five contenders (Snub Nose 38, The Belmore Family, and The Lowland Clans), GOOD LUCK BOYS. Now to announce the team awards.

HIGH SCORER – Throughout the season Lovebug managed to put 14 points on the board largely due to the efforts of Mikale “Warrior” Peku who scored 3 points this season. Other scorers include Mack, Berell, Dingo, and Orca with 2 points each, and Julius, Pella, and Panda with 1 point each.

BEST DEFENDER – This award would have to go to someone who has really come into his own this season: Hunter "The Shotgun" Forrest, he took on a lot of responsibility after Raffi Marley was injured during the first match up against the Warnock Wizards.

THE QUEEN’S AWARD FOR BEST SPORTSMAN OFF THE FIELD – This was a tough decision because they all are such outstanding role models but Nathaniel "Kix" Anderson was selected for his work with the Alzheimer’s patients.

THE COACHES AWARD FOR BEST LEADERSHIP ON THE FIELD – This award was given to right wing Zebra "Stripper" Black, he just always was pushing the other members of the team to strive to get better.

THE BEST TEAMSHIP AWARDS – These awards go to a pair of players who just worked excellently together on field, this year it went to Tiger "The Man" Woods and Jack "The Rabbit" BeNimble.

And finally… BEST SPIRIT AWARD – The player who best kept up team spirits on and off the field that went to Art "Sure Shot" Varkenstein.

Team Photos - http://www.football-rumours.com/images/matthewupson2.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/kilygonzales.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/carstenjancker2.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/brendonsantalab.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/morientes4.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/stephanehenchoz5.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/EricSabin.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/joaquin4.JPG http://www.football-rumours.com/images/ianharte.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/thomashitzlsperger.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/mohammedkallon1.JPG http://www.football-rumours.com/images/waynequinn.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/aimar3.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/raulbravo3.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/joecole.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/gustavolopez.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/ballack.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/berndschneider.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/nikokovac.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/torstenfrings3.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/ianevatt.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/dennisrommedahl1.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/vaart2.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/andrewobrien.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/hoekstra3.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/burukOkan.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/christopherevel2.JPG http://www.football-rumours.com/images/takahara5.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/lauth.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/noelWhelan.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/frankdeboer.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/paulrobinsonleeds.jpg http://www.football-rumours.com/images/milanbaros.jpg

The Eagles Nest

10-04-2004, 22:14

Strike Birds Rest Starters in Final Game
Eagle's Nest Lose 1-0 to Anti-Nazis in Worthless Game

Since the Birds had secured Qualifiaction the game before, Coach Talio decided to rest his starters and ensure they are not injured before teh World Cup starts.

The only starter to get some time was Horace as goal keeper in the second half, and he put on a show, except that Anti-Nazis had already scored a goal in the first half, and the Nest backups couldn't get through the defense. The fans understood the strategy and was very supportive of the Nest and the newer players trying to earn some playing time in teh cup ahead.

The Birds will remain in seculsion in Eagle's Nest until the groups are named, and then will fly to either Rejistania or Cokbill Street to participate in their second straight World Cup.

Joining the Nest in qualifying is Gesamtkuntswerk and Commerce Heights. Here's hoping they aren't in our groups.

A full preview show will air an hour after the Groups are announced.

Svecia

11-04-2004, 00:12

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

BITTERSWEET VICTORY
1-0 win over Alpha Commune not enough to take second as Ravenspire, Tanah Burung win big
Lördag, 10 April, 2004

VILÄMNA, Svecia - Needing a big win at home over last place Alpha Commune, the Lightning offense unfortunately didn't pull through. The lone goal by Fransisco Carati was too little to keep up with Ravenspire, who won their match 3-0.

Svecia, tied with Ravenspire in point, but trailing by one in goal differential, could have pulled out the second place finish even if Ravenspire had won, by scoring a buttload of goals. But not even the home crowd could get the offense jumpstarted.

It remains to be determined who Svecia will play now in the playoff matches. But one thing is certain, the Lightning will need to push hard to prove that their 12-4-2 record was not a fluke. Looking back, though, the 1-0 loss at BSE Free Bovines at home was a game that could have made a huge difference in the final makeup of Group 1.

Still, Svecia should have a decent chance to qualify, as most of the other teams taking third place are long time World Cup teams and one possible opponant could be rival Runaway Moose.

Bedistan

11-04-2004, 00:30

OOC: You've already qualified, actually; it's just the top three from each group, period. No playoff round necessary. ;)

Melmond

11-04-2004, 00:51

It’s Finally Over Folks!
Melmond Loses 1-nil to Stalag 5 in Last Qualifying Match
By Henry Kalangalangalang of the Melmond City Herald

HEADQUARTER, STALAG 5—Both Melmond and Stalag 5 have this much in common, this game doesn’t mean jack doodoo. Stalag 5 clinched fifth place and Melmond clinched sixth place and both teams were looking ahead to the Cup of Harmony which will be taking place in beautiful Melmond.
The approaches to this virtual exhibition game couldn’t be any more different. The approaches emulated the overall demeanor of each country. Melmondians are all about enjoying life and having fun and living for the moment. Of course, Melmondians know that fun is in the eye of the beholder. Stalag 5ers believe in power and dominance at all times and remaining stoic while engaging in any activity. Manager Felix Coostatlwak let most of the substitutes start and play for the majority of the game. In contrast, Stalag 5 definitely didn’t want to lose to a newcomer in the intimidating however misnamed Graveyard. They brought out their first team.
There were no fences around this Graveyard, and looking at the large expanses of empty seats you can tell that no one was dying to get in. Melmond once again employed a stealth strategy, trying to dominate possession of the ball and tire out the larger Stalag 5 side by having them chase them. The Stalag 5 team wasn’t impressed by the plan at all. At the 10th minute, a streaking Rainy Zoulthane collided right into the strong body of Stalag 5 defender Blutgratsche Meier. Zoulthane fell right to the grass and Meier makes the easy steal. Meier passed the ball to midfielder Lunge Ferdi, who then found striker Latscher Pohl. Pohl, noticing that Melmond goalkeeper Gina Unne has overcommitted to stopping his shot and seeing an emerging Fussballgott Simon, he passes the ball to Simon and he gets the easy strike and goal. Simon scores at the 10th minute and makes it 1-nil Stalag 5.
Melmond’s resolve was not deterred nor was the strategy scrapped. The Fearless Farmers continued their game of keep away against Stalag 5. Midfielders Chara Effitont, Rainy Zoulthane, and Cristina Antunez led the swirling Melmond attack, making long runs and long balls to keep Stalag 5 huffing and puffing. However, the Fearless Farmers were only able to get one shot on goal the first half as Diallo Unne made an attempt which was stopped by Stalag 5 goalkeeper Rudi “Die Mutze” Schulz. At the end of the first half, it is 1-nil Stalag 5.
At the second half, it appeared that the Fearless Farmers were slowly whittling away at the Stalag 5 defense, as Stalag 5 showed signs of slowing down. The shots on goals have increased as well as Stalag 5 starting to concede many corner kicks. However, the only exception to the Stalag 5 slowdown was the goalkeeper Schulz, who was amazing. Schulz was able to stop every shot that went toward his net and was always in the right position for Torrini’s tricky corners.
Late in the second half, it seemed as if Stalag 5 made a fatal mistake. No, it wasn’t a prisoner execution, but rather poor execution by a tired Stalag 5 defender. Eisenfuss Muller makes a tired and desperate tackle on Melmond striker Diallo Unne from behind inside the goalkeeper’s box. Diallo Unne was awarded the penalty and had the perfect chance to score the equaliser. Diallo Unne’s shot goes off, the keeper guess wrong! However, oh no! The ball hit the goalpost! Meier was able to get the ball and clear it away before Melmond can put in any rebounds. All Diallo Unne can do is kneel and hang his head. Shortly, the final whistle sounds, the final whistle of this game and the qualifying season. Melmond loses their last game of the qualifying season, but it can be said that the Fearless Farmers made a great effort. Manager Felix Coostatlwak summed it up rather well and rather optimistically, “Our substitute players proved that they can play with a solid side, and overall considering the circumstance, those being that we were in a rather tough group as well as being a newcomer, I believe we made a very respectable showing. I am looking forward to our next chance to qualify.” There will only be one player not returning for the next World Cup team as Cory Yankovic will be heading closer to her hometown of Melmond City to be near her husband. She will play in the Cup of Harmony though!

Goals
Simon, ST5 10th

Cards
None

Standings

Other Group 1 Results
Kingsford 0 – BSE Free Bovines 0
Skipdonia 0 – Ravenspire 3
Svecia 1 – Alpha Commune 0
Tanah Burung 3 – Raptor Claw 0

[code:1:4e17a1f9a2]Group 1
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
Q Tanah Burung 41 13 2 3 36: 9 27
Q Ravenspire 40 13 1 4 33:12 21
Q Svecia 40 12 4 2 24: 6 18
4. Kingsford 34 10 4 4 20: 9 11
5. Stalag 5 32 9 5 4 22:17 5
6. Melmond 19 5 4 9 14:25 -11
7. BSE Free Bovines 14 2 8 8 13:21 -8
8. Raptor Claw 13 3 4 11 9:28 -19
9. Skipdonia 10 3 1 14 6:27 -21
10. Alpha Commune 8 1 5 12 3:26 -23[/code:1:4e17a1f9a2]

Melmond Team Stats
Goals: Critandi Unne (4), Chris Owen (4), Benjamin Leeb (2) Diallo Unne (1), Camui Arai (1), Martin Goodwin (1), Taxt (1)
Cards: Cristina Antunez (2), Jonsi Torrini (2), Paul “Edgy” Shields (1,1), Nina Steen (1), Phael Survigosis (1), Taxt (1)

Melmond National Team Schedule

@ Svecia L 4-0
v Skipdonia (Farmers Field, Melmond City) W 1-0
@ Tanah Burung L 2-0
v BSE Free Bovines (Lifedonations Stadium, Morales) W 1-0
@ Raptor Claw W 2-1
v Ravenspire (Microcosm Stadium, Aldi) L 2-0
@ Alpha Commune T 1-1
@ Kingsford L 2-0
v Stalag 5 (Walladome, Acosta) T 1-1
v Svecia (Unne Sports Temple, Unne) L 2-1
@ Skipdonia W 3-1
v Tanah Burung (Xpress Counsel Field, Cali) L 2-0
@ BSE Free Bovines L 3-1
v Raptor Claw (Woocat Books Ballpark, O’Connor) W 2-0
@ Ravenspire T 1-1
v Alpha Commune (MPNK Stadium, Faasen) T 0-0
v Kingsford (Farmers Field, Melmond City) L 2-0
@ Stalag 5 L 1-0

Next Game
The Quest to be Number 33

The Cup of Harmony is coming up next for our Fearless Farmers. Certainly this will be an exciting moment for the national team as they have the privilege of playing the cup in their home country. All the games will be in Melmond and this fact may actually give the Fearless Farmers a chance at winning the second most prestigious trophy in all of international football, the Golden Keg! Check out the Cup of Harmony and buy tickets at your local box office!

Melmond

11-04-2004, 01:31

And sadly, it is the last World Cup 13 rendition of...
Melmond Football Footnotes

Melmond Pet Food Manufacturer Offers Endorsement Contract to Kingsford's Carl Shetfield
At the moment, when Carl Shetfield got kicked in the crotch by Melmond defender Nina Steen, he must have thought that this could possibly be one of the worst things to happen to him. Not only did he have to experience the intense pain, but he was stricken with Foreign Accent Syndrome, sounding as if he were from Avenging Altos. However, the voice change could have been the best thing to happen to him as he has a new weapon on the pitch as well as a high pitch that the dogs seem to like. He now adopted all the stray dogs that stormed behind him in the game against Melmond and has gotten an offer to sponsor Puppo brand doggie treats. "I'm still thinking it over," says Shetfield, "There is one thing for sure, I ain't going to eat the doggie treats."

Melmond Premier League Acquires its First Two Foreigners
Some people may believe that this announcement belongs on the International Domestic Newswire, however since it is a milestone for Melmondian football, we feel that we should share it here. Two players, Hanan Belagt of Svecia and Horace of The Eagle's Nest and formerly of BSE Free Bovines have signed contracts with Melmond Premier League Teams. Hanan Belagt will be playing for the Unne Yellows at the refurbished Feliz-Unne Stadium, "I am glad to be an ambassador and to show that both Melmond and Svecia have returned to good sportsmanship in terms of each other." Horace, who signed with the Acosta Browns, said that playing in Melmond was a good way to improve his game, "I need to learn how to score without flatulence!"

Tanah Burung

11-04-2004, 19:11

Crocs win group

Tanah Burung moved into the World Cup with a pretty 3-0 win over Raptor Claw to take top honours in Group 1, with substitute striker Mari Bin Amude again sparking the offence. "I think we've recovered from the blow delvered by that goon from Melmond," said coach Jose Ruak. "On to the the Cup!"

Tanah Burung's record was the ninth-best in qualifiers, signalling (fans hope, desperately) a return to the top ranks of World Cup footballing. Ruak has set as his goal an advance past the second round, something the Crocs have not managed to do since World Cup 5.

Emerald Heights teams continued to do well overall. Les Bleues of Eauz are currently the region's top side with a smashing qualifying campaign. Oglethorpia contineud to make it look easy with their march to qualification. And Brazillico and Kingsford fell just short of making it through. "If the next Cup is played in The Emerald Heights, i hope all five local sides make it through," Ruak said. "That would be something to see."

Final Crocs goal figures:
Maria Miskita 11
Thom Beanal 6
Theys Eluay 5
Mari Bin Amude 4
Anderson Mutang 5
Rashid Nazir 2
Jose Maubere 2

Snub Nose 38

11-04-2004, 20:32

*it's very early in the morning, the world still quiet and the sun just barely making itself noticed. ben dover hears the morning edition of scuttlebutt hit the front door after the paper boy tosses it as he peddles by. ben quietly slips out of bed, pullling on his robe as he makes his way to the front door. he opens it just enough to lean out, pick up the paper, and then closes it. he begins going through the sports pages as he makes his way to the kitchen to put the coffee on.*

Scuttlebutt - Morning Edition

On to Rejistania/Cockbill Street
Sten Remington Grey

Well, folks, your Snub Nose 38 Hooligans, ghostly variety, are on their way to World Cup 13 Competition in Rejistania/Cockbill Street. The failure to qualify for World Cup 12 is now just a memory. These Hooligans are the real thing...well, they were the real thing. Now they're kind of the "used-to-be-real" thing.

Be that as it may, they're once again serious competition for the Cup. They'll be facing some sides that are complete unknowns to the Hooligans, sides that qualified for WC12 that the Hooligans have never faced. And some fierce old competitors, such as the Tanah Burung Crocs...

*ben stops in his tracks. the world cup! the crocs! he continues towards the kitchen. that makes the blood flow! that puts some bounce in one's step! gotta get the charter flight arranged. gotta get the equipment cleaned and prepped. gotta get cracking! gotta get packing!

gotta get a fresh supply of raspberries*

NEWI Cefn Druids

11-04-2004, 21:48

The Daily Druid

SLIPONIA QUALIFY FOR WORLD CUP
Wayne Ottgunn-Irwin on a sad day for Druid sport.

There were scenes of mass hysteria across NEWI Cefn Druids yesterday as arch rivals Sliponia qualified for their first ever World Cup finals. People are distraught that such a saddening thing could have happened without the Druids qualifying as well.

The sporting history between the two nations is pretty intense. Ever since the Druid Gems basketball team went to Sliponia and beat the home nation in the final with a last second three-pointer, the two nations have generally pissed each other off in the international sporting arena.

Since then, the Druid under-21 football team beat the Sliponians on penalties, while the Sliponian handball team beat the Druids in the final of World Cup 4, where angry scenes were played out between people of the two nations right across NEWI Cefn Druids. Then there was Field Hockey World Cup 10, where the two nations mounted a hosting bid together, only for the Sliponian representatives to go AWOL until the semi-finals, worsening relations further instead of improving them. However, now that the Slips have made it to the finals, relations between the two nations, and especially their Sports ministers, might well move up to another level.

Or it might not.

Squornshelous

12-04-2004, 01:40

(moved from scores thread :oops: )

Squornshelous Finishes Qualifying Ranked 4th Overall
Squornshleous wrapped up the qualifying round with a 2-0 win over The Republican Army. The game was largely a formality, with Squornshelous already firmly in first place in their group and some of the backup players got a chance to play. The normal lineup started the game but 5 players subbed out at halftime. With TRA already eliminated, both teams were playing for pride. The scoring started in the 29th minute, when Koren Jackson set up Richards with a perfectly placed ball. It was childs play for Richards to the slam the ball into the net. Neither team showed much initiative until after the 45 minute mark, when a lot of subs went in who were seeing their first play in this cup. Substitutions for Squornshelous were:
[code:1:8a3f6c6436]
ST IN: Francisco Chavez OUT: Koren Jackson
RAM IN: Darrik Rutter OUT: Jamal Richards
LAM IN: Ben Robinson OUT: Sammy Brooks
LD IN: Michael Salazar OUT: Zak Truman
CD IN: Roberto Enriquez: OUT: Karl Edmonds
[/code:1:8a3f6c6436]

The game stayed quiet until the 75th minute when Rutter made a run up the sideline and crossed inside to Jones. Jones dribbled around a defender, then sent the ball to the outside for Robinson, who sent a shot flying just over the crossbar, however, the keeper's hand brushed it as it went out, resulting in a corner. Robinson sent the ball out to Rivera, who paused and then hammered the ball towards the net. The keeper got one hand on it, but Jones was there to ensure the score.

Final Score:
Squornshleous 2-1 The Republican Army

Scoring Summary:
S: Richards 29
S: Jones 75

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Jackson: 11
Richards: 6
Rivera: 3
Brooks: 3
Jones: 3
Chavez: 2
Stikolsmur: 1

Group 7 Final Standings (top 3 qualify)
[code:1:8a3f6c6436]
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Squornshelous 46 14 4 0 29: 6 23
2. Lemmitania 36 10 6 2 28: 9 19
3. Antaeus Rising 36 10 6 2 28: 9 19
4. Creedence Clearwater 35 11 2 5 30:15 15
5. Jeruselem 33 10 3 5 29:21 8
6. Grand master Mark 25 8 1 9 23:19 4
7. The Republican Army 18 6 0 12 15:28 -13
8. Haraki 13 3 4 11 9:33 -24
9. Jaegermeistria 8 1 5 12 7:31 -24
10. New Cyprus 3 0 3 15 7:34 -27
[/code:1:8a3f6c6436]

This win gave Squornshelous a total of 46 points in qualifying which places them just behind Gesamkuntswerk, who earned 48 points, and Giant Zucchini and Halfassedstates, who have higher goal differentials. The top five teams after qualifying are as follows:
[code:1:8a3f6c6436]
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Gesamtkuntswerk 48 15 3 0 31: 5 26
2. Giant Zucchini 46 14 4 0 36: 6 30
3. Halfassedstates 46 15 1 2 38: 9 29
4. Squornshelous 46 14 4 0 29: 6 23
5. Audioslavia 44 14 2 2 31: 6 25
[/code:1:8a3f6c6436]

Squornshelan goalkeeper Toby Allen has played an excellent qualifying round, with Squornshelous in a 7 way tie for second in goals allowed with 6 (not counting WW). This stat gives Squornshelous a total of .3 goals per game. We are also one of only three teams undefeated after qualifying.

Rejistania

12-04-2004, 16:05

Rejistania and Cockbill Street for away games - a guide for fans

The World Cup 13 is about to start and many fanatic fans, who would follow their team everywhere need to prepare themselves for a trip to the countries of Rejistania or Cockbill Street. What should they be aware of in the different countries? This guide will tell you.

Cockbill Street
It might be a bit confusing that technology seems to be rather unknown in Cockbill Street, no telephones, no cars and no computers are known. The Streeters however found inventive methods to get around these problems. For example a method similar to telegraphy is used to pass messages.

To get into the country might be a bit difficult since there is no airport in the entire country, however steady winds from neighbouring countries allow it to travel via balloon or zeppelin. If you prefer an a bit more comfortable way into Cockbill Street, you can use the excellent connections via boats or ferries. Boats are also an established way to get around in the country: fares are low and normally the boats are in a decent state. If a place isn't reachable by the rivers of Cockbill Street, horse and cart are still the main method of transport.

The climate in Cockbill Street is temperate in the plains in the north and cold in the hills and mountains of the south of the country.

Generally, people (and trolls) are friendly. Dwarfs however tend to be aggresive and should not be provoked. You should avoid to mention trolls and size when speaking with dwarfs. Dwarfs hate trolls beacuse trolls hate dwarfes. Trolls however hate dwarfs because they hate trolls. Don't think about that being pointless. It is always good to have someone to hate. Trolls are large, silicon-based creatures and tend to be a bit slow if the temperature is too high for them, because their brain then overheats and doesn't work on full potential. English and Norwegian are the two native languages of the country, and are widely understood. Knowledge of Dwarfish and Troll is not necessary, and as a serious throat infection is needed to speak Dwarfish and Troll mainly consists of pointing and grunting, it is not really worth the bother.

Rejistania
Rejistania is on a more technological advanced level, but still there are many things that are a bit uncommon for travellers, some even more than a bit. Mobile phones will not get a connection since there are long-lasting lawsuits about the network licenses. Also note that it is illegal to import any ClosedSource software into Rejistania.

The three international airports are in Na~ovi kali, Sike kali (the capital) and KaMaRi kali. Since all world cup matches take place in northern Rejistania ('nanti simu' in rejistanian), KaMaRi is the best place to land. In case you are coming from a neighboring country you might think about travelling into 'The Rejis' by ferry. Forget it: Often the prices are high or the security standards low. In Rejistania, trains and buses are the best way to get from A to B, cars are highly taxed and so the country is mostly car-free. Not all bus stops or railway stations state their name in latin characters, which could be a problem for the unknowledgeable traveller. Knowing the rejistanian alphabet is recommended.

The climate in Rejistania is tropical.

Knowing Rejistanian or even some basic words in majuvedian (the local language in large parts of KaMaRi and in Matix, also understood in Hetkali) can an advantage in the Rejis: Even though English often is understood, people often don't answer to a polite english question simply because they don't want to insult the stranger with their bad English. If Rejistanians speak English, it always sounds a bit strange since both the sounds and the grammar of the native languages in Rejistania (Rejistanian is a constructed language, more than 15 different languages are spoken in the country) differ much from English. Many foreigners consider Rejistanian too difficult to learn. That surely is true if you want to speak grammatically correct, but to be understood, only basic grammar is needed. For example: instead of saying "Il'mi'lanja'visko, xe'isa'han sen-la-sa~o sunrajet?" (Can you please tell me how I can get to Sen-La-sa~o?) "sen-la-sa~o sunra?" (Sen-La-sa~o where?) is learnable and would still be understood by the local population.

Rejistania

12-04-2004, 19:52

dp, sorry!

Rejistania

12-04-2004, 19:52

Thor Axewielder and Teke Daran as representatives of the FAs of Cockbill Street and Rejistania made the draw for the groups for the World Cup 13. Against previous traditions, Rejistania will not enter group D but group A, the group, where traditionally the winner of the previous cups is located. Group A-D games will be in Rejistania, group e-H games in Cockbill Street.

The groups for World Cup 13 are:
Group A (entirely in KaMaRi kali)
1 Rejistania
2 Total n Utter Insanity
3 Gesamtkuntswerk
4 Snub Nose 38

Group B (entirely in Matix kali)
1 Oglethorpia
2 Lemmitania
3 Belmorian Scandinavia
4 Svecia

Group C (entirely in KaMaRi kali)
1 Squornshelous
2 Spaam
3 Nikea
4 Anteaus Rising

Group D (entirely in Hetkali)
1 Audioslavia
2 Kerla
3 Liverpool England
4 Sliponia

Group E
1 Commerce Heights
2 The Eagles Nest
3 The Belmore Family
4 Runaway Moose

Group F
1 The Lowland Clans
2 Tanah Burung
3 Dennisov
4 Eauz

Group G
1 Giant Zucchini
2 Halfassedstates
3 Bedistan
4 One Red Dot

Group H
1 Cockbill Street
2 Europa Brittania
3 Oddslavo
4 Ravenspire

Fixtures:
[code:1:d31e25d56d]
MD1: 1 vs 2, 3 vs 4
MD2: 3 vs 1, 4 vs 2
MD3: 1 vs 4, 2 vs 3
[/code:1:d31e25d56d]

The Eagles Nest

12-04-2004, 20:22

Strike Birds in Hard Group

By World Ranks, Eagle's Nest Should Finish Third in Group 5

*Scenes from recent games and the Nest celebration after their tie with Commerce Heights that got both teams into qualification fade to a set with a TV monitor and a single man*

Hello, I'm Sam Smith, and welcome to the World Cup XIII Preview Show.
We'll look at the draw that the Nest got, and other teams of interest, including the defending champ Rejistania and others who qualified from Group 4.

First we'll start out with the draw. The Nest was drawn second in Group E. The problem is, the 1st and 3rd drawn in group 4 have higher ranks than the Birds.

Group E Draw
1. Commerce Heights (2nd Group 4) (World Rank: 3)
2. The Eagle's Nest (3rd Group 4) (World Rank: 41)
3. The Belmore Family (2nd Group 5) (World Rank: 15)
4. Runaway Moose (3rd Group 9) (World Rank: 72)

On paper, it looks as if we will indeed place third in a World Cup Group, but lets look closer at the matches:

Unofficial Fixtures
MatchDay A:
CH vs. TEN
TBF v. RM

Hmm, CH has yet to score a goal on the Birds, but then again, the Eagle's Nest has yet to score on Commerce Heights. CH has been playing well lately, going 7-3-0 in their last 10, while the Nest has gone only 4-4-2 in their last 10. We'll hope for a tie, and give TBF a win

MatchDay B:
TBF v. CH
RM v. TEN

The Belmore Family/Commerce Heights may be the deciding game here as we predict the Nest will get a win, for discussion's sake, we give the CH/TBF game a tie.

MatchDay C:
CH v. RM
TEN v. TBF

CH should win this match giving them a total of 5 points. If TBF wins, they go through, if the Nest wins, then well, they go through. So this whole grouops comes down to how well the Birds can play against The Belmore Family and Group 4 partner Commerce Heights.

*short commercial explaining the laws of both Cockbill Street and Rejistania*

Well, let's look at some other teams of interest shall we?

Group 4 Winner Gesamtkuntswerk has been placed in Group A, which I think we can definately call the Group of Death as defending champion Rejistania, must play undefeated Gesamtkuntswerk, one loss Snub Nose 38, and the always dangerous Total n Utter Insanity. Wow, glad the Birds didn't draw that. Groups G and H also seem to show some promise for unpredictablility and some great matches, as 3 or 4 teams in each can win on any given day over everyone.

This World Cup should be fun, and not predictable. We predict that the Nest will place 2nd or 3rd in Group E, and that the winner of this World Cup may surprise you all, we're keeping that quiet for now. *wry smile*

Anyway, once the fields and the schedule has been offically posted all relevant travel information will be posted for those fans wishing to travel to the games.

I'm Sam Smith....GO BIRDS!

*scenes of the fields in both Cockbill Street and Rejistania are shown, ending on Horace making a spectacular save against Anti-Nazis.*

Bedistan

12-04-2004, 22:24

The Bedistan Sports Digest

One Giant Red Halfassed Zucchini
WC13 group draws announced

REJISTANIA -- The World Cup 13 group draws were released today by the RejisFA. Our Bedistan Lions have been drawn into Group G along with three other well-known teams: the Halfassed Hurricanes, the One Red Dot Wolves, and the one and only Giant Zucchini.

"Egad, this is not gonna be easy," commented manager Johnny Lewis upon receiving the news. Two of the current top ten teams in the world are going to be tough to beat. Luck will be on our side if we make it through to the second round."

Our predictions for the finishing order in this group:

1. Giant Zucchini
2. Halfassedstates
3. Bedistan
4. One Red Dot

Eauz

13-04-2004, 02:06

Football Eauz

World Cup 13 starts

(Cockbill Street) --- Earlier today, the teams which qualified for World Cup 13, were drawn into 8 groups. Les Bleus were drawn into group F.

[code:1:439365ac1f]
Group F
1 The Lowland Clans
2 Tanah Burung
3 Dennisov
4 Eauz
[/code:1:439365ac1f]

Of all the clubs, Les Bleus have only played The Lowland Clans in a non related cup of football. This group should be a good fight for Les Bleus to possibly qualify for the next round. Les Bleus though, can not think they can just walk in and win things.

As for the matches:

Match Day 1 : Eauz vs Dennisov

Match Day 2 : Eauz vs Tanah Burung

Match Day 3 : Eauz vs The Lowland Clans

Match Day 1 will be a good chance at proving that Les Bleus are a different team than the past. Les Bleus though, must realize that their schedule will get harder and harder as the days go on.

Match Day 2 will be an interseting match, as Les Bleus will meet up with a fellow LEAF country, which they have never played against before. Many people in Emerald Hights will be watching this match.

Match Day 3 will be either a steeping stone to the next round, or Les Bleus will be playing as spoiler, depending on the result of the past 2 matches.

No matter the results, Les Bleus will have a major challenge against some great teams, but Les Bleus have history on their side, having played well against good teams, such as Europa Brittania, Liverpool England and Oglethorpia.

Predictions:

[code:1:439365ac1f]
1 Tanah Burung
2 The Lowland Clans
3 Eauz
3 Dennisov
[/code:1:439365ac1f]

Audioslavia

13-04-2004, 02:16

WC13 Draw Announced

Audioslavia find themselves in group D in WC13, along with the following sides:

MD1: Kerla
Previous Meetings: 1
Score: Audioslavia 1-0 Kerla (World Cup 11 First Round)

Audioslavia first met Kerla on the back of a winning streak in World Cup 11. Having defeated TnUI 1-0 and Runaway Moose 3-2 to take an un-defeated streak up to 10 games in succession, the 'slaves had the better of a fast-paced encounter with the Kerlans and won by one goal to nil.

This time round, Kerla's team is pretty much the same. No star players to speak of, but eleven skilled and dangerous Kerlans who can upset anyone. Beating Kerla isnt mandatory, but a result in this difficult opening game is a must.

MD2: Liverpool England
Previous Meetings: 1
Score: Audioslavia 3-1 Liverpool England (World Cup 7 First Round)

Audioslavia's dumping of LE from WC7 was one of the last defeats Liverpool England suffered before they swept all before them in World Cup 8. That match saw Audioslavia take the initiative as the home team, not letting the LE side play and scoring two early goas which seemed to put the game beyond the Liverpudlian Englishmen.

After their WC8 triumph and good showing in WC9, Liverpool England have struggled to keep the pace, but still maintain their position as a top side. Audioslavia will hope to take at least a point from the match.

MD3: Sliponia

Previous Meetings: 0
Sliponia are the NSWC equivalent of Idlewild, if the scottish indie-rockers had no fans. Sliponia plod along making a semi-non-insignificant mark on NS football, but at one point in time you know your going to come accross them, and you just wont know what to do or think.

Statistically the lesser team of the group, Sliponia may nevertheless provide a challenge for the 'slaves.

Other notable matches

Group H, MD2: Europa Brittania Vs. Ravenspire
The World Cup 9 hosts meet in a re-match of the WC9 final. EB won that one 3-1, so Ravenspire will be looking for a little revenge, despite them being the lesser team on paper.
Prediction: 2-1 to EB

Group E, MD2: Commerce Heights Vs The Belmore Family
Two bitter rivals meet in Cockbill Street to settle their differences in what should be a heated game. CH have changed a lot in the last ten years, from being mild-mannered also-rans to World Cup semi-finalists. TBF have also changed a lot in the past ten years, although in their case they've taken a few steps backwards.
However, both CH and TBF had to travel rocky roads to qualification, and have been showing poor form of late, so i'd put money on a draw
Prediction: 2-2

Group B, MD1: Lemmitania Vs Oglethorpia
Look out for the media's reports from these two countries, they should make for brilliant reading.
Prediction: Ogle to nick it 2-1

Group A, MD2: Total 'n Utter Insanity Vs. Snub Nose 38
Two of the golden oldies, both showing poor form of late but still reliable to put on a good game.
Prediction: TnUI 3-2 SN38

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake, g'nite bitches

13-04-2004, 03:07

Due to technical difficulities we've been unable to retrieve the Warriors scores for the last 8 matches of qualifying until today. Here are brief recaps of those 8 matches.

SPAAMIANS SLAUGHTER WARRIORS

Spaam proved to be unkind hosts to the Warriors defeating them 3-0. Before the match Goalie Joshua Harris strained a groin muscle and could not play, so Mark Williams had to play in net. Williams kept the ball out of the net for the first 55 minutes before the Spaamian attack found his weakness and exploited it. The loss hurts the Warriors chances to qualify for WC XIII.

WARRIORS SEND MOOSE RUNNING

The Warriors surprised Runaway Moose before a packed house at the House of Prayer winning 1-0. Joshua Harris' groin had healed enough for him to play, and he didn't disappoint recording his 7th clean sheet in 11 matches. The Warrior goal was scored by Midfielder Rachel Peterson on a pass from Brian Johnson in the 63rd minute. The upset win puts the Warriors right back in the middle of the race to qualify.

WARRIORS STUNNED BY PABLITOPIA

The Warriors had already defeated Pablitopia 4-0 earlier during qualifying for their largest margain of victory, so they expected another easy match at Pablitopia. However, the Pablitopians had other plans in mind. They played their other keeper who stymied the Warriors attack, turning aside 15 shots for the clean sheet. Joshua Harris was up to the task, turning aside 3 shots to record his 8th clean sheet in 12 matches. The draw severely injures the Warriors chances to qualify.

WARRIORS PLACED ON KP BY KAZE PROGRESSA

Kaze Progressa ended any Warriors prayers to qualify by defeating them 2-1 before a SRO crowd at the House of Prayer. Worse, Joshua Harris is out for the rest of qualifying with a dislocated knee after a KP forward took him out on their second goal in the 90th minute. The fans stormed the field trying to get their hands on the KP player, but he was escorted to safety before they could achieve their objective. The ref promptly called the game at that point because the field could not be cleared. The Warriors tally was notched by Thomas Larson on a pass from his wife, Kelly Carter Larson in the 58th minute for his 8th goal of qualifying.

WARRIORS MIA IN BATTLE ON HOME SOIL

The Warriors never showed up for their match at the House of Prayer before a crowd of 73,892 against Alex The Tall. The result was a 0-1 loss for the Warriors. Goalie Mark Williams was forced to turn aside 18 shots, but couldn't stop a rebound effort by a ATT player in the 39th minute for the only goal of the match.

WARRIORS COMPLETE SWEEP OF GADDLANDIANS

The Warriors completed a 4-0-0 mark against Gaddland and West Gaddland in a hard fought 3-2 match in Gaddland. This was the only one of the four matches that had not been decided by a 2-0 score. The Warriors got 2 goals from Kelly Carter Larson and 1 from William Harper, with Harper's being the winner in the 88th minute.

WARRIORS SAY "KING ME" AS WILLIAMS RECORDS SHUTOUT

The Warriors shutout Aergia 1-0 before a crowd of 81,694 at the House of Prayer. Mark Williams recorded his first international clean sheet by turning aside 9 shots. Midfielder Joseph King recorded his first international goal on a back pass by Thomas Larson in the 52nd minute. The Warriors could potentially finish in 4th place with a win and some help in their last match.

WARRIORS SETTLE FOR 6TH AFTER DRAW

The Warriors were forced to settle for 6th place in a tough group after salvaging a tough 1-1 draw at Oglethorpia in the final match of qualifying. The Oglethorpians went up in the 6th minute, and it looked like the match would finish that way until Thomas Larson and Kelly Carter Larson hooked up one last time in the 89th minute with Thomas scoring his 9th goal of qualifying. This was the first time the Warriors finished with a winning record in qualifying with a final record of 8-5-5 and a +6 goal differential. The Warriors fans are already chanting "Wait four years!" We certainly hope they're right, because there will likely be a major turnover on the Warriors roster after WC XIV.

Tanah Burung

13-04-2004, 03:30

F'ing 'ell

Tanah Burung finds itself in moderately difficult Group F, playing in the mysterious land of Cockbill Street. Will they get through the electrical storms that have been battering this fine country? Will they land on their feet? Will Tammy ever find true love?

F is for Firkins
Match day 1: The Lowland Clans v Tanah Burung, Dennisov v Eauz
TLC are the side the Crocs know best, having score against them freely some years back in a qualifying round. On the other hand, the Clans are top-ranked in the group, and will be tough competition. If the Crocs' offence plays the fast and furious football it's capable of, then this should be a Tanah Burung win. If not, the road to the second round will be rocky indeed. In the other match, red-hot Eauz is favoured over faded former champs Dennisov.

F is for Familiarity
Match day 2: Dennisov v The Lowland Clans, Eauz v Tanah Burung
The Crocs have never played an international tie against their neighbour and major trade partner Eauz, so the match should be an interesting one. Sports minister Bi Kikere has offered to bet 10,000 loonies on the outcome of the match. If the Crocs lose, she has also promised to appear for the first time ever in a fancy frock.

F is for Ph3ar
Match day 3: The Lowland Clans v Eauz, Tanah Burung v Dennisov
The Crocs will hope to be sitting pretty by the time they face their fellow grizzled veterans on the final day. If not, and they don't advance, coach Jose Ruak is certain to be fired despite the Crocs strong play in qualifiers. Fiddlesticks!

Tanah Burung

13-04-2004, 03:31

Gesamtkuntswerk

13-04-2004, 04:18

Gesamtkuntswerk enters "Group of Death"

After the dust fell, the Sturms have been handed their greatest challenges yet: the self-titled "Group of Death" is home to Gesamtkuntswerk's undefeated. Against the Sturms will be host, returning champs, and forever home-team Rejistania, as well as favourites Snub Nose 38 and Total 'n' Utter Insanity. There are no easy games in the near future, and the Sturms will have to kill some "shoe-ins" before they can move into the final rounds of the World Cup.

First game will be against Snub Nose 38, a team bragging only one loss in the qualifying round. While impressive, the Sturms sport an undefeated record thus far, so this has the makings of a great game all around. Their GA is relatively higher than the Sturms, but the balance comes in the defense, where the Sturms have a two-goal advantage. Overall, the difference in GD is zero, but with the strong offensive found on both sides of the field, this'll be a test of defensive might.

The second game will be the electric battle against reigning champions and host nation Rejistania. Because they're a shoe-in, they've had no gameplay to this point, but the Sturms have been riding their powerhouse offensive/defensive combination, and have a couple of suprises in store for Rejistania (according to a press release given by Owner Ingra Neistol).

The third and final game will be against popular TnUI. At the end of the qualifying rounds, TnUI had only eked out a qualification by coming out one point over Aquilla and Brazillico, both very qualified teams. They've had a rough group, and they've come out as a qualifier, but they've shown some offensive weaknesses that can be exploited.

All three of these games should be clinchers, but the Sturms have shown that they're more than capable of moving on to the final rounds. The Sturms are stronger than they've ever been before, and they'll be stronger still before the Cup closes.

Spaam

13-04-2004, 05:44

United Spaam Sports Weekly

Hulky Is A Sex God

Spaam In Group Of Slight Pain

Spaam has been drawn into Group C for the second World Cup in a row,
along with Squornshelous, Nikea, and Antaeus Rising. Squornshelous is
the only team that Spaam has faced before at World Cup level, and were
the team that famously defeated Spaam 2-0 in the Round Of 16 in World
Cup 5. Spaam will be looking for revenge here, but it will be a tough ask
as Squornshelous is currently ranked 6th in the world and were unbeaten
in the preliminary tournament. With any luck, Spaam should perform well
against the other two teams, as they both have lower ranks. In any case,
the first game will be the most pivotal for all 4 teams in the group, and
should be one of the most exciting in the Group Stage.

Alátari Súrion Caught In Lesbian Relationship

Paprazzi have photographed Alátari Súrion and an unnamed woman
engaging in a steamy session, causing the rumor mill to go into overdrive.
The news that the champion goalkeeper may be lesbian has caused a lot
of concern amongst the more conservative circles, and may possibly
damage her career. However, her team matess have backed her up,
saying that her sexuality should have no bearing on her goalkeeping
performance. Star striker Meren Lûin said, "as long as she goes for the
balls on the field, I don't care that she doesn't off it." Her brother Finrod
Súrion is even more supportive, saying "if my sister wants to be with
another woman, I'm behind her 100%. Besides, I think its hot!"

http://drake.5p.org.uk/alatari2.jpg

OOC: Sincere apologies for any offense I caused....

Giant Zucchini

13-04-2004, 05:59

OOC: Eww...Spaam, that was SICK...

IC:
NEWSFLASH:

Giant Zucchini has been drawn into Group G, alongside Halfassedstates, Bedistan, as well as regional rivals One Red Dot. The Zucchinis' record against these 3 teams have not been impressive.

Halfassedstates:
WC 11: 3-1 Win
WC 12: 0-2 Loss
Record: 1-0-1

Bedistan:
WC 8: 0-2 Loss
Record: 0-0-1

One Red Dot:
WC 5: 1-0 Win
WC 8: 4-3 Win
WC 11 QF Leg 1: 0-0 Draw
WC 11 QF Leg 2: 0-1 Loss
WC 13 QF Leg 1: 0-0 Draw
WC 13 QF Leg 2: 1-1 Draw
Record: 2-3-1

Experts say this is a very tough group, and qualification is not going to be easy.

imported_Nikea

13-04-2004, 06:04

Queldas Hikari - Rul Isio Nesuntel A Seserim

Nikea In Tough In Group C
Grouped with Squornshelous, Spaam, and Antaeus Rising
by Markenin Markenel

KAMARI KALI, REJISTANIA(NP) - Nikea finds itself back in the group stage of the World Cup once again, looking for their first ever progression beyond the groupings.

Finding themselves in Rejistania, a hostile environment as of late for Nikea, the Pandas are grouped with an extremely tough Squornshelous, always threatening Spaam, and not-very-dangerous-but-not-to-be-underestimated Antaeus Rising. Nikea only has history with Antaeus Rising.

After slipping slightly following a superb opening run in qualification, Nikea solidified their spot, in all but mathematical certainty, with a 2-1 win over Brazillico. After struggling to beat minnows Largent and Hawcoat, Nikea enters World Cup 13 struggling to find the net. The Pandas are a young team, but are usually good for at least 2 goals a game, although that feat might be tough against Squornshelous and Spaam.

The Pandas first match will be against Antaeus Rising, and the Pandas will look to start out strong with a solid showing. Tune in to NTV1 for full coverage of the matches and World Cup coverage.

One Red Dot

13-04-2004, 08:32

The Red Dot Informant
Wolves Play in CBS, Dottians Outraged Over Draw

With the qualification over, and One Red Dot playing for the Cup again, the Wolves have one more chance in earning victory. However, after the draw, the country, initially eager, turned furious, if not annoyed.

Says one fan from Westshores, in the southwest regions One Red Dot, "I know the draw and stuff is at random, but it is ridiculous that GZ, who was in the same group as us in qualifying, is iin the same group with us again. What is the point!?"

Unfortunately, who is to argue, as the decision is perhaps, from now, final. So, One Red Dot is in Group G and to be playing in Cockbill Street or CBS for short.

Alongside are three other distinguished teams.
On Matchday 1, One Red Dot wil be up against the Bedistan Lions.
Till now, there have been no record of any international clashes between the Wolves and the Lions, unless you are talking about some forest somewhere, but that's for the zoologist to figure out. Anyway, this will be the first time, so a confident predictions can't be made, but a win or draw could be possible.

On Matchday 2, the winds wil be blowing by for the Halfassedstates' Hurricanes. Only one recorded bout has been recorded:

WC5, Qualifying Matchday 7, One Red Dot 3 Halfassedstates 1 (W)

Of course, that was no less than about 30 years ago. A quick look at their qualification run in Group 2 show that they are definitely in top form now. So a draw or maybe a loss is certain.

On the final Matchday 3, yet another derby match against the Giant Zucchini Zucchinis.
WC5, Group Matchday 3, One Red Dot 0 Giant Zucchini 1 (L)
WC8, Group Matchday 3, One Red Dot 3 Giant Zucchini 4 (L)
WC11, Qualifying Matchday 3, One Red Dot 0 Giant Zucchini 0 (D)
WC11, Qualifying Matchday 10, One Red Dot 1 Giant Zucchini 0 (W)
WC13, Qualifying Matchday 6, One Red Dot 0 Giant Zucchini 0 (D)
WC13, Qualifying Matchday 15, One Red Dot 1 Giant Zucchini 1 (D)

Yet again, a draw is predicted. Maybe 2-2 this time.

Predictions for after Matchday 3
1. Giant Zucchini
2. Halfassedstates
3. One Red Dot
4. Bedistan

Total n Utter Insanity

13-04-2004, 08:53

RP Bonus saves TnUI, Group Drawing screws them over.

The strike finally ended today as TnUI leapfrogged Aquilla at the 11th hour. Hoping for an easy draw that would take them to the second round to be trashed again, TnUI got the worse draw ever. World Champions and hosts, Rejistania as well as two of the best teams in qualifying Snub Nose 38 and Ges...something. It's reported that less than 5,000 fans have headed to Rejistania for the cup, as everyone expects an early bath.

Rejistania

13-04-2004, 10:36

Venues for the group stage-matches in Rejistania:

Group A:
Rejistania vs Total n Utter Insanity in the Sen-La-Sa~o Relekhati stadium.
Gesamtkuntswerk vs Snub Nose 38 in the Hades Lavamje Stadium

Group B:
Oglethorpia vs Lemmitania in the Matix Veran Stadium
Belmorian Scandinavia vs Svecia in the Mikedi Veran Stadium

Group C:
Squornshelous vs Spaam in the Hanin Sekhika Stadium
Nikea vs Anteaus Rising in the KaMaRi kaletri Stadium

Group D:
Audioslavia vs Kerla in the Hetkali Hetlasane stadium (Kerla already knows his venue from a WC12 qualification match against Rejistania)
Liverpool England vs Sliponia in the Hetkali Hetaki Stadium

MD2:
Group A:
Gesamtkuntswerk vs Rejistania in the Sen-La-Sa~o Relekhati Stadium
Snub Nose 38 vs Total n Utter Insanity in the Hanin Sekhika Stadium

Group B:
Belmorian Scandinavia vs Oglethorpia in the Mikedi Veran Stadium
Svecia vs Lemmitania in the Matix Veran Stadium

Group C:
Nikea vs Squornshelous in the Hades Lavamje Stadium
Anteaus Rising vs Spaam in the KaMaRi kaletri Stadium

Group D:
Liverpool England vs Audioslavia in the Hetkali Hetlasane Stadium
Sliponia vs Kerla in the Hetkali Hetaki Stadium

MD3:

Group A:
Rejistania vs Snub Nose 38 in the Sen-La-Sa~o Relekhati Stadium
Total n Utter Insanity vs Gesamtkuntswerk in the KaMaRi kaletri Stadium

Group B:
Oglethorpia vs Svecia in the Matix Veran Stadium
Lemmitania vs Belmorian Scandinavia in the Mikedi Veran Stadium

Group C:
Squornshelous vs Anteaus Rising in the Hades Lavamje Stadium
Spaam vs Nikea in the Hanin Sekhika Stadium

Group D:
Audioslavia vs Sliponia in the Hetkali Hetlasane Stadium
Kerla vs Liverpool England in the Hetkali Hetaki Stadium

Stadiums in Cockbill Stret and Rejistania (http://www.geocities.com/versionizer/stadia.html)

Halfassedstates

13-04-2004, 11:47

Sowhatsville news

Hurricanes equal record!

After returning triumphant from TnUI, the Halfassed Hurricanes knew that they had confirmed qualification to WC13. All that remained was the small matter of a national record that was up for equalling.

The longest undefeated streak any Halfassed side has achieved was 15 games during the qualifying and finals of WC10. Any result other than defeat would secure te current players their place in the record books, and against Indigo Islands, they managed just that.

The match was definatly not a classic, the only goal coming on the stroke of half-time, when a pass from Soap finally got Smith beyond the Islanders off-side trap and the striker cooly slotted home. With the Islanders having little to play for, the Hurricanes where content to sit on the lead and try to avoid any injury that may have stopped them making it to the finals. Basically the match became a friendly with little else to talk about and finished 1-0.

So the Hurricanes finish top of group 2 and will eagerly await the draw for the finals.
Heres a re-cap on the qualifying run;

Home Vs Aquilla 0-2
Home Vs Hawcoat 2-0 {Smith, Sherwood}
Away Vs Nikea 1-3 {Sherwood}
Home Vs Steves Is. 2-0 {Sherwood 2}
Away Vs Brazillico 3-0 {Smith, Gregg 2}
Home Vs Largent 4-0 {Sherwood, Ducks, Totti 2}
Away Vs Pablicosta 3-0 {Soap, Ducks, Gregg}
Home Vs TnUI 3-1 {Sherwood 2, Ducks}
Away Vs Indigo Is. 1-0 {Ducks}
Away Vs Aquilla 1-0 {Gregg}
Away Vs Hawcoat 4-0 {Smith 3, Ducks}
Home Vs Nikea 2-2 {Smith, Gregg}
Away Vs Steves Is. 2-0 {Sherwood 2}
Home Vs Brazillico 2-0 {Gregg, Sherwood}
Away Vs Largent 3-0 {Gregg 2, Totti}
Home Vs Pablicosta 2-0 {Marks, Smith}
Away Vs TnUI 2-1 {Sherwood 2}
Home Vs Indigo Is. 1-0 {Smith}

Top scorers:
12 - Sherwood
8 - Gregg, Carl Smith
5 - Ducks

edit - OCC: yes i realise the draw is already sorted - i'll be RP'ing that in a bit! (fingers crossed)

Snub Nose 38

13-04-2004, 15:00

...Spaam In Group Of Slight Pain...

*the minister of athletics, olympics, and alcoholic beverages read this while having his 2nd cup of coffee. it took the butler 15 minutes to wipe up the coffee. the heimlich maneuver was necessary for the minister*

:wink:

Brazillico

13-04-2004, 15:07

Alátari Súrion Caught In Lesbian Relationship

OOC-Spaam... I think you might have gone a tad too far with this one.

Dennisov

13-04-2004, 15:25

Amazing News!

With both baseball and icehockey dominating the schedules, news has filtered through that the national football team has indeed qualified for the World Cup.
In spite of the recent lack of interest for this sport, this channel will be broadcasting the three group games against The Lowland Clans, Eauz and Tanah Burung live.

The games of the baseball team Bunnies Galore will be repeated after the games of the Dennisov football team. The playoff games which Galore will start shortly will still be shown live. Should Dennisov qualify for the next round of the World Cup, there will be further alternations to the broadcasting schedule.

The icehockey games scheduled for broadcasting of the Alphen Bunnies will not be affected in anyway.

Now follows highlights of the Bunnies Galore's victory over division rivals, Toronto Blue Jays.

Cockbill Street

13-04-2004, 16:32

We'd like to advertise the Cockbill Street Zeppelins. The cheapest, safest, and best way to get to Cockbill Street. In fact, only one in ten gets shot down!

Cockbill Street

13-04-2004, 16:35

Double post.

Cockbill Street

13-04-2004, 16:35

THE OPENING CEREMONY

Teke Daran, chairman of the Rejistanian FA, rose to speak into the strange devices which the Rejistanians had installed on the Vimesbairn National Stadium. They called them microphones, and the huge things that his voice came out of loudspeakers, but the natives of Cockbill Street didn't accept their explanations of how they worked and wrote it down to straightforward magic.

"Welcome, ladies, gentlemen, and other competitors and spectators, to this glorious feast of football for the whole of the world!" Mr Daran said. "For a month, the greatest teams on this earth, and, indeed, from other earths, shall battle it out for the World Cup! And we, the Rejistanians and Cockbill Streeters, shall watch in awe as the great footballers grace our soil! But now, let me hand the festivities over to our current hosts, and in particular the artists of the" - he cleared his throat, stopped for a moment, and then continued - "K'haz'bak Circus of the Globe, led by the magnificent Glod Silfversmid, who shall perform some of their tricks for us."

A boo ensued from the Tungsten-carbide Stand of one side of the stadium, while the Harald Axewielder Stand at the other end exploded in applause. Reflecting the hatred between the species of dwarfs and trolls, the two species were kept apart in the stadium for safety reasons. At either end, prominent guests from all the World Cup Countries (the 38 Alan Belmores attending the show had diplomatic immunity, despite rages and protests from most other countries), former Streetian and Rejistanian football giants, and spectators of other Streetian species were seated.

The artists were not particularly distracted by the constant jeering from the trolls, and went on with one of the more spectacular shows seen in Cockbill Street today. It ranged from acrobatic tricks to stage magicians to fireworks. Eventually, it climaxed in a human (or, as the case may be, dwarf) pyramid built by 32 people, each dressed in the national colours of a particular country. On top, one dwarf in the yellow, white and red of Cockbill Street and another in the orange, white and blue of Rejistania lifted a copy of the World Cup into the air, and then threw it up into the air. The dwarfs quickly disassembled, running about randomly, and eventually the Cup landed in the "Rejistanian" hands - as to symbolise who currently had it.

Thor Axewielder, father of Harlad, Jorn and Bjorn and minister of the Cockbill Street Department of Football, then took control in the ensuing noise. "As you will know, eight venues in Cockbill Street will host World Cup games. I would like to announce the schedule for the upcoming games in Cockbill Street!"

At the Vimesbairn National Stadium, which you can see on the clacks tower over the Tungsten-carbide end, we will have the following six games:

http://www.geocities.com/versionizer/vimesbairn.jpg

Cockbill Street v Europa Britannia - Matchday 1, Group H
Oddslavo v Cockbill Street - Matchday 2, Group H
Cockbill Street v Ravenspire - Matchday 3, Group H
Winner Group G v Runner-up Group H - Second Round Game 7
Second Round Game 7 v Second Round Game 8 - Quarter-Final Game 4
Quarter-Final Game 3 v Quarter-Final Game 4 - Semi-Final

K'haz'bak K'druz'ba D'gazh'dukh, the stadium of K'haz'bak with a capacity of 94,000 will host several of the tensest group matches, as well as a second round game:

Commerce Heights v The Eagles Nest - Matchday 1, Group E
The Belmore Family v Commerce Heights - Matchday 2, Group E
Giant Zucchini v One Red Dot - Matchday 3, Group G
Winner Group H v Runnerup Group G - Second Round

The Vimesbairn Cricket Ground, specially furnished with football goals, will host three group matches and two finals matches as well in front of, hopefully, 102,000 people:

The Belmore Family v Runaway Moose - Matchday 1, Group E
The Eagles Nest v Runaway Moose - Matchday 2, Group E
The Eagles Nest v The Belmore Family - Matchday 3, Group E
Winner Group F v Runnerup Group E - Second Round Game 6
Third Place Play-off

The Roegrow Grass Patch will also host three group matches, due to time constraints. However, we will not host any finals matches there:

Oddslavo v Ravenspire - Matchday 1, Group H
Europa Britannia v Ravenspire - Matchday 2, Group H
Oddslavo v Europa Britannia - Matchday 3, Group H

At the intimate Harewood Ground, we will have another three group matches:

Giant Zucchini v Halfassedstates - Matchday 1, Group G
Dennisov v The Lowland Clans - Matchday 2, Group F
Commerce Heights v Runaway Moose - Matchday 3, Group E

At the Northset County Cricket Ground, capacity 62,000, some more group and finals games will be played out:

Bedistan v One Red Dot - Matchday 1, Group G
Bedistan v Giant Zucchini - Matchday 2, Group G
Halfassedstates v Bedistan - Matchday 3, Group G
Winner Group E v Runnerup Group F - Second Round Game 5

The small Jotneheim Park will host three games, too:

The Lowland Clans v Tanah Burung - Matchday 1, Group F
Halfassedstates v One Red Dot - Matchday 2, Group G
Tanah Burung v Dennisov - Matchday 3, Group F

And, finally, Thatcher Road will host these four games:

Dennisov v Eauz - Matchday 1, Group F
Tanah Burung v Eauz - Matchday 2, Group F
The Lowland Clans v Eauz - Matchday 3, Group F
Second Round Game 5 v Second Round Game 6 - Quarter-Final Game 3

And now, let us clear the pitch for the match between Cockbill Street and Europa Britannia, to take place tomorrow!

Snub Nose 38

13-04-2004, 17:17

ooc: a little out of order, rp timewise. but...here it is anyway.
-----------------------------------------------------------

*we are sitting in the back row in a projection room in the snub nose 38 academy of science. in the front row are the minister of athletics, olympics, and alcoholic beverages, ben dover, eileen dover, justin case, and someone we know only as “margaret”. standing behind a podium at the front of the room, and off to the side so as not to block the screen, is chief academician doctor albert onestone. one of doctor onestones’ assistants is in the back of the room, running the projector. we are watching footage of the snub nose 38 – warnocks wizards match.*

- There! Right there!
- What’s right there, Albert?
- Can you back it up, then forward again but in slow motion?
- Sure, chief.
- I said, what’s right there, Bert?
- What I’ve been talking about for the past half hour.
- He’s a little slow, Albert.
- Rude. You are congenitally rude, Margaret.
- Better’n bein’ congenitally stupid.
- AS I WAS SAYING…
- Yes, do go ahead, Bert.
- Thank you, Ben. Watch carefully. Okay, forward in slow motion. See, there comes Horatio with the ball. He sees Malicious to his right. He makes the pass with his left foot - STOP THE FILM. See?
- What the…? His foot went right through the ball! His foot went right through the ball? What the…?
- That’s what I’ve been telling you. His foot phased out.
- Phased out…?
- Yes. At first they had control of it. Remember the goal Horatio scored by slipping the ball around a defender and then literally going through the defender? He phased himself out, then back once through, and scored.
- Fine, but what…
- Eileen, they can’t control it anymore! It just happens to them.
- They can’t stop it?
- Nope.
- Can they phase out and in when they want to?
- We’re not sure, Ben. It seems like they can still phase out when they want to, but they don’t seem to have control over phasing back in.
- It’s not an isolated incident?
- No. It’s happening to them all, and with increased frequency. Roll the film again – watch, it happens to Malicious a couple of second on in this clip.

*film rolls. warnocks wizard defender clears the ball in the direction of malicious. He leaps to head the ball. albert’s assistant switches to slow motion – and we see the ball pass directly through malicious’ head.*

- …That’s not good…
- No, Minister, that is not good.
- Ok. Ok. Ok. Um…Bert, can you get it back under control?
- No, Ben. I’ve tried.
- Well, what in blue blazes is it!
- Justin, I think they’re beginning to leave us again.
- Well…can ya bring ‘em back again?
- Dunno. Don’t think so, but I won’t really know until one of ‘em completely disappears. Then I can try to bring him back again – and that’s when we’ll know.
- What are we gonna do if they disappear? They’ve qualified. How…
- Can’t we, I dunno, uh…can’t we give ‘em some kinda more solid boots, head bands, kits, whatever?
- No. They came back with the kits they used when they were alive, and they can’t wear anything else.
- Why, for heavens sake?
- When we tried, it just kinda fell through them.
- Whatever. We’re on our way to Rejistania. They’re comin’ with us, and they’re gonna play football.
- But, Margaret – they’re starting to disappear…fade away…
- I will not let them fade away.
- Sure, sure…but they’re…
- I will not let them fade away.
- Margaret, how can you stop…
- I will not let them fade away.

*the room is silent. then*

- Alright, then. Justin, you arrange transportation to Rejistania. Eileen, book hotel rooms. Margaret, you’d better bring a large supply of those chickens. I’ll get the equipment guys to finish packing up. We’ve got a lot to do, and little time to do it. And we need to get there as early as possible. We need lots of practice time. Just look at these scouting reports on Rejistania, Gesamtkunstwerk and Total n Utter Insanity. This is gonna be one tough tournament.
- What can I do, Ben?
- Er…just stay out of the way, Minister.
- But, I wanna…
- Hey! He said, “Just stay out of the way!” You got that?
- …Yes, Margaret…

*and so they hooligans begin the trek to rejistania and the quest for the “cuppy thing” (as the minister of athletics, olympics, and alcoholic beverages calls it). we wish them luck . we also wish we had a sandwich. we head out to take care of that second wish.*

Melmond

13-04-2004, 17:24

A World Cup Preview
Les Blues to be Les Champs, Audioslavia to be Once Again a Bridesmaid

One must certainly wonder why in the heck would a publication from the country who did not qualify for the World Cup would do a preview of it in their paper. Quite possibly, it is our way to show congratulations to the teams that were talented and dedicated enough to make it this far. I am sure that the Melmond National Team aspires to be like these teams. Anyway you will get a very brief synopsis of each team and group and predictions.

Rejistania

Group A

Rejistania on paper looks to be the odds-on favorite in this World Cup. They are the defending champions, the top ranked team in the world, and the co-hosts of this cup. Unfortunately for them, the Rejistanians will not have a breather as they are drawn into the group of death

Total n Utter Insanity total and utterly barely made it to the World Cup final. In other groups, the Insanians may be picked to finish in the top two. However, with their current efforts and their stiff competition, Belless and himself looks to be in the cellar.

The Sturms of Gesamtkuntswerk certainly were steady and efficient during the qualifying as they have yet to lose a game. We predict that they will lose a game for the first time in this very tough group as the Sturms will have to push harder than ever. They may be up to the challenge however.

The Phantom Hooligans of Snub Nose 38 also had a great qualifying session. Why we believe that they will make it into the round of 16 is that these incorporeal beings really put maximum effort into all their matches. The other teams may be distracted by their scantily clad cheerleaders. It is not known whether they are phantoms as well.

Prediction
1. Rejistania
2. Snub Nose 38
3. Gesamtkuntswerk
4. Total n Utter Insanity

Group B

Oglethorpia had somewhat of a disappointing qualifying despite finishing second. The WonderTeam seemed to fail to catch the colorful glory of last Cup’s squad. However considering the weaker competition expect a first place finish.

Lemmitania looked rather strong in the World Cup which they hosted last year. However, they barely made this World Cup. Like Oglethorpia, these guys will benefit from the weaker competition.

Belmorian Scandinavia I believe is one of the most overrated sides in the World Cup. They were lucky to draw in what was arguably the weakest qualifying group. Expect them to crash and burn.

What can we say about Svecia except do Group 1 proud! Svecia finds itself a bit surprised to be in the World Cup with the likes of Kingsford out. They should be hard to dispatch.

Prediction
1. Oglethorpia
2. Lemmitania
3. Svecia
4. Belmorian Scandinavia

Group C

Squornshelous may not have the smartest players, as evident by the constant misspelling of their moniker, the Psychos. However, these guys have football smarts which can take them rather far.

Spaam is one dedicated and talented side which should never be underestimated. Expect this team to play well in the clutch.

The Pandas of Nikea are not so surprised this time around about being in the World Cup final, but they should still struggle like the younger team did.

Anteaus Rising seemed to be falling after the last World Cup. They barely make this year’s cup. Expect the Anteans to continue falling on the giant world stage.

Predictions
1. Squornshelous
2. Spaam
3. Nikea
4. Anteaus Rising

Group D

The ‘Slaves of Audioslavia are still smarting from the championship loss against Rejistania. They were penalty kicks away from being World Champions. We predict an equally as tragic score for them.

Kerla were also beneficiaries of the weak qualifying group. They may have a high international ranking, their performance wasn’t all too impressive

Liverpool England has been a very solid side, always in the thick of the championship hunt. Audioslavia should be their toughest competition in this group.

It took luck for Sliponia to get into the World Cup. It will take even more luck for them to advance further.

Predictions
1. Audioslavia
2. Liverpool England
3. Kerla
4. Sliponia

Cockbill Street

Group E

Commerce Heights made their best performance ever in the last world cup, finishing in 3rd place. Methinks this team isn’t quite as talented as last year.

The Eagle’s Nest are certainly a dominating football nation in the making. Could this be the year where they finally break into the Round of 16? We think so.

The Belmore Family came back from the tragic loss of St. Alan Belmore and a forfeited game to qualify for the World Cup. This emotionally charged side should do well in the group.

Runaway Moose is kind of seen as the fluke entry in the World Cup as they didn’t even attempt to qualify for the prior World Cup. Expect them to get a reality check in this group.

Predictions
1. The Belmore Family
2. The Eagle’s Nest
3. Commerce Heights
4. Runaway Moose

Group F

The Lowland Clans did struggle a little bit in qualifying, only able to make the World Cup due to the demise of Warnocks Wizards and goal differential. However in any case, this team has talent.

Tanah Burung is still smarting after the career ending injury of striker Theys Eluay. One has to question if they can recover now facing top flight competition.

Dennisov’s new order is still making the World Cup for some reason. Their goalkeeper Cheevers will have to play flawlessly in order for Dennisov to rack up a single win.

Les Blues of Eauz look really good this year. Their heart is unmatched and their talent level has finally arrived to elite levels. This may be a jinx, but things are looking very good for them.

Prediction
1. Eauz
2. The Lowland Clans
3. Tanah Burung
4. Dennisov

Group G

Giant Zucchini gets thrusted into what arguably is Cockbill Street’s version of the group of death. This shouldn’t faze this talented veteran side.

The Halfassedstates Hurricanes are a rather flatulent side and should be glad they are not playing in Melmond. These Fearless Farters also have the talent to be threat to anyone.

The Lions of Bedistan made it to the World Cup on the hair of their maney mane mane. Although a rather talented side, Bedistan may find itself over its head in this deep group.

One Red Dot, like Bedistan, barely made it to the World Cup. Also like Bedistan, they are a talented side who will be overcome by even more talented sides in their group.

Prediction
1. Giant Zucchini
2. Halfassedstates
3. Bedistan
4. One Red Dot

Group H

The co-host Cockbill Street has a golden opportunity to make their mark in international football. Coming of a Cup of Harmony win which they hoisted the Golden Keg, they will have the support of their home fans as they go for the ultimate prize.

Europa Brittania is the rock of this tournament. They are always in the World Cup and always one of the best teams. This generation of Europa Brittania should live up to the standards of their forefathers.

Oddslavo was the team that won the weak qualifying group. However, they face much more talented sides in this group and are in trouble.

Ravenspire is now just plain great again. However, this is a side that merely tied Melmond…at home!! We would love to see them do well; we just don’t think it will happen.

Predictions
1. Europa Brittania
2. Cockbill Street
3. Ravenspire
4. Oddslavo

Round of 16
Rejistania over Lemmitania
Snub Nose 38 over Oglethorpia
Squornshelous over Liverpool England
Audioslavia over Spaam
The Belmore Family over The Lowland Clans
Eauz over The Eagle’s Nest
Giant Zucchini over Cockbill Street
Halfassedstates over Europa Brittania

Quarterfinals
Rejistania over Squornshelous
Audioslavia over Snub Nose 38
Giant Zucchini over The Belmore Family
Eauz over Halfassedstates

Semifinals
Audioslavia over Rejistania
Eauz over Giant Zucchini

Finals
Eauz over Audioslavia

Snub Nose 38

13-04-2004, 17:29

Alátari Súrion Caught In Lesbian Relationship

OOC-Spaam... I think you might have gone a tad too far with this one.
Concur - too far.

Audioslavia

13-04-2004, 17:48

Semifinals
Audioslavia over Rejistania

thatd be good enough for me!

Snub Nose 38

13-04-2004, 23:36

Scuttlebutt - Evening Edition

Good-Bye, Old Paint
Dire Arachnia Mike Easter, aspn wire

The Sultanate of Dire Arachnia. Among the first and foremost of the Giant Evil Spider Nations. Founder of the Arachne Cup. Dark, dank, smelly, foul, just-what-the-giant-evil-spider-doctor-ordered Dire Arachnia.

Gone.

I'm standing in what can only be described as a dust bowl in the middle of what once was the Mighty Sultanate of Dire Arachnia. No vegetation as far as the eye can see. Nothing moves - there isn't even a hint of a breeze.

Gone is the multitude of Giant Evil Spider Citizenry from this place. Gone, too, is Sultan Octavius Prime. Gone the webs, gone the hovels - all gone.

No one is sure exactly what happened. No one knows if a deadly disease wiped everyone out, or some natural (or super-natural) disaster struck. Or, perhaps, the entire nation simply...moved.

All we know is that Dire Arachnia is no more.

They were Giant Evil Spiders, and therefore had a tendancy to eat any "puny humans" they came across, but even so they were among the premier footballing nations in the world.

A small, tasteful ceremony to mark the passing the Sultanate of Dire Arachnia will take place at sun rise tomorrow in "38 Special Stadium", the national stadium of Snub Nose 38. The Eulogy will be delivered by The Red Queen, Monarch of Little Miss Muffet, Defender of That Which Needs Defending, and All Around Good Gal.

Sic transit gloria mundi.

i make no guarantee about the spelling of that latin - last latin class i took was in 1968

Audioslavia

13-04-2004, 23:39

Sic transit gloria

i make no guarantee about the spelling of that latin - last latin class i took was in 1968

...but Sic Transit Gloria is a Brand New saying...

*budum chh*

Snub Nose 38

13-04-2004, 23:43

Sic transit gloria

i make no guarantee about the spelling of that latin - last latin class i took was in 1968

Sic Transit Gloria is a Brand New saying ;)I'm sure you're right about that. Don't know what it means, but maybe it relates to what I think it means in latin.

In my tired old grey cells "Sic transit gloria mundi" translates from latin (roughly) "Thus passes the glory of the world".

Rejistania

14-04-2004, 00:11

From the KaMaRi-Update:

May the host team win!
'The temple of Taderekansu is best-visited at the last matches of the qualifiers' is a hetkalian description of the great interest and even fanatism, which the Rejistanians show for the Orange-Blues. The north of Rejistania has the great chance to experience a world cup in their own country, but even from the most remote parts of Rejistania, people travel to KaMaRi to see the Orange-Blues live in the cup. Even from some tribal vilages in nanti ligat, people are coming. the opponents in group-stage are Total n Utter Insanity, Gesamtkuntswerk (don't even try to pronounce it) and Snub Nose 38. Total n Utter Insanity, also known as TnUI, has qualified by nothing but luck on the last matchday. We don't know if we can expect them to be a challenge or if will experience the meaning of a "jisu" in its best form. Also Gesamtkuntswerk is a new team for the Orange-Blues. Here the Orange-Blues expect to drop some points since the team was undefeated in the entire qualification. Some people might see it as a good omen that this match is labeled as away-match (Gesamtkuntswerk vs Rejistania) sincer there is something like rumour that the rejistanian team is chronically underperforming against good opponents at home. Snub Nose 38 is a known opponent: In the second round of world cup 11, the Orange-Blues defeated them by the margin of 2-0. The problem is: The team has totally changed. instead of real players, a bunch of ghosts play in the national team. It is said, that Imdila'he asked for the support of a shaman for that match. Hexen Imdila's forecast of the group stage: "We can get 0 points and we can get 9 points. The thing is: it depends on us and on the question how the new and the established players can work together. We don't have unimportant qualification matches against teams like SPARTEN to test the line-up" The SPARTENian FA isn't likely to react on this clear insult. It dissolved 4 years ago.

Spaam

14-04-2004, 03:15

Sincere apologies for any offense I caused.... the offending picture has been removed.

Total n Utter Insanity

14-04-2004, 06:15

The homophobic obstreperous multitude organization of TnUI has recently launched a campaign to keep Spaamanian gay and lesbian propaganda out of international news.

“It’s not right!” Says one angry protestor. “My daughter saw that article and then later that day I found her kissing her best friend! We need to stop stuff like this before it turns any more people gay!”

“There is a big rally planned for tomorrow.” Said another protestor. “We are going to bring the capital to a standstill, that’ll make the government take note.”

More on this news story as it develops.

Dennisov

14-04-2004, 08:47

Hearts are Broken

Bad news always travels in company.
After the stunning loss of the hockey team, Dennisov's football team repeated their example by losing 1-0 to Eauz.
Though the loss to one of the tournament's favourite wasn't as big a suprise as the Bunnies' 2-3 loss earlier that day, it was a little more than the sports loving people of Dennisov could stomach.

Goaltender Cheevers kept the team in the game, but a win was never really likely.
"We played with all our heart and soul," captain Conacher said after the game, "but with many young people playing hockey or baseball these days we lack depth and youth."

The stats also speak for themselves, in the past the Dennisov defense was the foundation on which the forwards could rely on. The defense is still there, but only two serious chances came Dennisov's way, by far not enough to win any game, least of all on this level.

"I hope that broadcasting these games on national television will get some youths to play football again." Cheevers said.

However with the recent winning ways of both the Alphen Bunnies and their baseball affiliate, the Bunnies Galore, this seems highly unlikely.

Although the hockey team suffered a shocking loss to a lowly ranked team they are still favourites to win both the regular season championship and the playoffs.
The Bunnies Galore are one of the better teams in the world of baseball and therefore get a lot more exposure in the media. People just love a winning team better than a losing one and with both icehockey and baseball currently winning just about everything, football and Dennisov's national team have to come up with nothing short of a miracle.

The Lowland Clans

14-04-2004, 11:57

ASNN - Stars Back in Business with Victory Over Old Qualifying Rival

Jotneheim Park, Commerce Heights - New manager Jeffery McKay rejoiced with his team for their first victory of the World Cup, beating old qualifying rivals Tanah Burung for the first time ever. The Clan soccer institution was on the rise in those days, and this Cup was far, far different. The near failure of the team in qualifying was the most bereaved issue in the national papers aside from the civil war.

But the break between the qualifying and the World Cup allowed McKay to get everyone on the same page, and put a renewed focus on defense, which a lack thereof plagued them throughout the Gauntlet. This time though, defense would not be a problem. Newcomers 'Hounder' McGraff, Moe West, and Josh Teller clearly provided a much needed overhaul to the Clan defense, which held the Crocs' to a mere 30:23 of ball possesion.

The offense certainly was not at it's usual vigor, but it had lost none of it's potency. The few times the offense had it's chances, it certainly did not waste them. The skill which was put on display by the Clans and the Crocs offence certainly put alot of previous offensive matches to shame. The sheer amount of footwork and passing required to complete the beautiful goal by Mark Jeremy and Chee Blackwing late in the first half was mind boggling.

But let's not take anything away from the Crocs, whose offence came within mere inches of tying the game more than enough times to make the Stars feel very uncomfortable. "They played a very, very hard game. They knew that this group would be a tough draw, and that every place would be fought for with large amounts of sweat and blood. They certainly did not go down without a fight." said Manager McKay.

TLC Stars 1 - 0 Tanah Burung Crocodiles
Jeremy (39)

Giant Zucchini

14-04-2004, 13:44

NEWSFLASH:

Giant Zucchini lost to Halfassedstates in their first match of the World Cup. Once again, it was Robin Sherwood who was the difference, his rasping shot from just outside the box eluded the outstretched palms of Oog in the second half. Head Coach Mr Hurr, "It was a poor performance. We didn't attack with enough penetration, and if not for Oog, we would have conceded far more. But credit to Sherwood, it was a good strike." The Zucchinis are expected to win the next match against Bedistan. The pressure is on.

Spaam

14-04-2004, 15:13

Um, so when am I getting my score?

Snub Nose 38

14-04-2004, 15:14

Um...where are we getting these results? :?:

Halfassedstates

14-04-2004, 16:06

Next up on HSMG 1, ‘Game of the Day’ …..
*The screen fades and we see a strangely familiar face walking along a street outside a football stadium – has he starts to speak we puzzle over who it is*

“Well once again we come to the premier sports event the football World Cup.
This time we are off to Cockbill Street, a wonderful land with a fairly simple populace comprising dwarves, trolls, humans, talking dogs and dodgy hot-dog vendors!

In this setting, 16 of the 32 best nations in the world are vying for the chance to grab glory. Included in this number are our own Halfassed Hurricanes, hoping once again to progress to the later stages of the cup after a tremendous qualifying run, that saw them finish top of their group and had the third best record overall in the ‘warm-up’ games.

The draw for the finals has provided almost as tough a task as the qualifying draw had been. The three other teams in group G have been in numerous WC’s and are all ranked well in the current WCC lists. With One Red Dot and Bedistan waiting for the Hurricanes in the next two matches, the team needs to get at least a point on the board against the great Giant Zucchini side to-day here at the Harewood Ground.”

*As the voice fades, the theme tune starts and we watch clips of the Hurricanes progress through qualifying, the draw for the finals and finally the highpoints of the previous days opening ceremony*

Hello there folks, I’m Alun Hansun and we will be bringing you live coverage of the opening round clash between world #8 the Halfassed Hurricanes and the world #5 Giant Zucchini side! I’ll be here at the stadium providing analysis alongside John Mutsun, but first we’ll head back to the studio in Whogivesa and Gary Luniker.

*Alun Hansun – of course, we think as we slap our head. He’s lost some weight and has a yellowish jaundice look but the eyes and grin are the give aways! It’s amazing what alcohol can do to a person! The screen has went back to the studio, where GL is giving his usual prematch speel about the importance of the opening game, the difficulty of the opposition etc etc. – we decide to head to the fridge and get the Half Hearted Hooch in before the game starts. As we return, the game has just kicked off*

JM – And Soap passes it out to Totti, he edges it on to Smith whos hopeful shot is easily claimed by Oog.

AH – Its easy to see the Hurricanes game plan here, 4-3-3 with Smith and Gregg trying to drag the defenders out wide to leave more space for Sherwood in the middle. Seems that Humm is going man-to-man (should that be zucchini to man?) on Sherwood, with Quk as the extra defender.

JM – Krak to Gung, who is closed down quickly , but gets it back to Krak. Through to Urk, but Ducks is in quickly to snuff out the danger, and clears to White on the right, who clears upfield.
AH – A couple of decent forays by both sides, but the defenses on top so far. The first goal will have a huge bearing on this …….

*Just then the phone rings. Reluctantly we get up and head into the hall to answer. 25 minutes later, mum finally stops talking and we head back in to see whats the score is. Unfortunatly, we find the two kids watching a cartoon, when it eventually finishes, we switch back to the game. *

JM - …. And Ducks heads it clear as the Aquillian ref blows for half-time.

AH – 0-0 and a fair reflection of a tense first 45. We’ll just have to hope things improve in the second half.

*We finish the bottle of now warmish beer and wander into the kitchen for another and decide to put a pizza in the oven before we go back to watch the game. As the second half is about to start, the door bell rings!!! Grumpily we head to the door.
After 10 minutes, the salesman finally agrees to send a quote for new windows and will call again in a week or so. As we go back to the game, we can smell burning – the pizza!!
After sorting out the disaster of the oven, we grab another Hooch and head back to the game.

JM - …. Aaaalllllllll. 1-0 Hurricanes and Sherwood’s done it again.

AH – a great strike their. Excellent technique that left the keeper absolutely no chance.

JM – With just under 20 minutes left, it could be a match winner. The Zucchini’s may have a complaint about the challenge between Gregg and Thunk that left Totti a free run to the by-line, but his cross was headed out by Quk and Sherwoods volley thundered home.

*We jump around the room for a bit spilling beer around the place*

JM – Urk with the chance…… Jennung tips it over. Corner to GZ

AH – Great reflexes by the keeper.

*we abruptly stop jumping around and sit on the edge of the seat gulping at the remaining bottle of Hooch. Time seems to stop, but eventually*

JM – there it is, the final whistle and the Hurricanes have triumphed, setting a new national record of games undefeated and giving themselves the best possible start in group G.

OCC: SN38/Spaam - had my result tg'd by Rejis earlier.
Rejis may be doing CS's half while CS is doing Rejis' so you may have to wait til CS is online (nb this is all pure speculation based on absolutly no facts what so ever!)

Cockbill Street

14-04-2004, 16:16

OOC: Halfassedstates is almost correct. I needed some files from Rejis before I could sim the scores. They'll be out within the hour.

Rejistania

14-04-2004, 16:27

sorry, CS didn't understand my instructions where the newest version of the wc13-program was (the one with the super-mega-über-ultra host-bonus). when you are reading this, the TG already reached you.

Gesamtkuntswerk

14-04-2004, 17:05

Gesamtkuntswerk Sturms top SN-38

In the first of three group games, the Gesamtkuntswerk Sturms have come up against the mighty SN-38, a team of high standing and with identical GD to the Sturms after the eighteen qualifying rounds. Because both teams have shown themselves to have a powerful offensive drive, the Sturms prepared themselves for a very tight defensive game to minimize their opponent's drive.

In the game itself, it was a battle of wits, will, and talent to keep control of the ball long enough to make a viable attempt to score. The first half passed by scoreless, with only two attempts on SN-38 against three on the Sturms. The second half yielded much more offensive attempts on both sides of the field, showing moments of flaring tempers within the Sturms rank. However, Padraig O Maillé managed to keep his head cool enough to head a corner kick into the Snub-Nose goal in the 76th minute, yielding the only point of the game. The clock wound down with the Sturms keeping a solid defensive wall, shutting out SN-38 and giving Gesamtkuntswerk another victory. Final score: Gesamtkuntswerk - 1, SN 38 - 0

The next match will be against host Rejistania; the Sturms have been reviewing tapes of previous cups for insight, and are ready to face the reigning champs.

Rejistania

14-04-2004, 19:30

From the KaMaRi Update - International Edition (Han'ines KMR - editasi tani mesit)

Insanity in Sen-La-Sa~o
The match between the Orange-Blues and Total n Utter Insanity ended in a hard-fought 1-0 - for the home team. The usual insanity started: People celebrated, climbed on street lanterns, took a bath in fountains and public life came to a halt. Police officer Hadi I Jik commented: "Total and utter insanity in SLS, as expected!"

The match started a bit slow. The Orange-Blues started very defensively and the Insanicans lacked their top-player Alan Belless. After ten minutes, in which the rejistanian System Karela (a very defensive strategy) had 3 100% chances, suddently Alan Belless appeared as if he stepped out of the nowhere. Of course he was substituted instead of one of the anonymous players who played forward. Milan Tia~e, who heard the stories of the low IQ of Belless, but refused to believe it, wanted to try it out. He shouted: "Hey, Belless, pass to me, we're in the same team!" Belless looked confused. "You can believe me, I never lied to you, didn't it?" The insanican player joined in the counter to the attack he was just participating in. By this he confused all insanican players, including the goalie so much, that he had no problems in scoring a goal - for the Orange-Blues. The entire stadium laughed. This own-goal would make cup history. The Insanican coach shouted some insults at Belless, in that insults he also used the full name: 'Alan Belless'. For some reason, that was the reason why Alan Belless collapsed, ever and ever repeating 'James or Alan, orange or red'. We don't know why this happened. Belless is said to be able to play in the next matches again. After the match, Milan 'Tihrana' Tia~e commented the incident only by: "Eh!" which is translated best with 'oops'!
The mtch itself wasn't that interesting: the System Karela of the Orange-Blues met a team, which lacked their most important player and wanted to do anything to avoid a trashing (or a 'jisu' since we are here in Rejistania). The match saw no more goals despite one or two good chances for the Orange-Blues.

The result:
Rejistania 1 (Belless 12th (og) )
Total n Utter Insanity 0

Rejistania

14-04-2004, 19:31

one cup - two hosts,
one click - two posts

Snub Nose 38

14-04-2004, 19:58

*we are in a waiting room in saint swithens hospital. The room is not well lit, the chairs are not comfortable, and the stuff that comes out of the vending machines is highly questionable. standing in a corner of the room, on a cell phone, is justin case. we overhear the following*

- ...more tests, and then she might know.
- *******
- That's ridiculous, Ben.
- ***** :!: **
- The doctor is not a foreign agent trying to sabotage our efforts. She’s being very helpful. They just haven’t figured it out yet. Have you taken your medication?
- ********************************************
- Take your medication, Ben.
- ************* :?:
- They don't know.
- ****** :cry: ****
- I know we lost. ASPN carried the match, and there's a TV here in the waiting room. One – zip. I think that “phase” thingy happened again a couple times.
- ********* :evil: ***
- Calm down, Ben.
- ******* :twisted: :evil: :twisted: :evil: *****
- Um...Ben...please put Eileen on the phone.
- ******
- Eileen, Ben. I want to talk to Eileen, please.
- ******************
- Hi. You've gotta get him to take his medicine, Eileen.
- ******** :?:
- Not so good. She's still in a coma.
- **************
- As soon as we got here.
- **********
- No, we didn't go to the airport. The chopper put down on the roof, and they rushed her straight to intensive care.
- *************
- No. I told Ben, they don't know what it is yet. They're doing more tests.
- *********** :?: ****
- How do I know? I'm not a doctor. Whatever tests they do for people who collapse into a coma.
- ************
- Sorry. I'm just upset.
- ********************************
- I dunno. I'll take care of this end, but I don't have a clue what to...
- ********
- As soon as I know something - anything - I'll let you know.
- **********
- Tell him to take some of Ben's medication.
- ******
- Probably won't hurt him, either. Might get him to shut up, though.
- *****
- Okay. Bye.

*justin flips his cell phone shut, and walks over to the admissions desk, behind which sits a dour looking clerk.*

- Now, just what is her name again?
- I told you a dozen times. Her name is Margaret. Just Margaret.

*we really need some fresh air, and head for the exit.*

Satanic Silver Ninja

14-04-2004, 20:01

COol

Snub Nose 38

14-04-2004, 20:22

World Cup XIII, Group A Update

[code:1:9076bfe336]
Group A P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Rejistania 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
Gesamtkunstwerk 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
Total n Utter Insanity 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
Snub Nose 38 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0[/code:1:9076bfe336]

Courtesy of The Minister of Statistics, Other Totally Useless Information, and Band Aids

one of hundreds of flyers found lying on the ground outside the stadium just hours after the gesamtkuntswerk - snub nose 38 match

------------------------------------
ooc: forum sub-par today (which is really bad)

Bedistan

14-04-2004, 22:37

*We are in a nondescript part of Total n Utter Insanity. Jeff Whitehurst, assistant coach of the Bedistan Lions and coach of the Cubs, their under-21 counterparts, is standing around looking for something. His cell phone rings.*

'Lo?
.......
Oh, hi, Johnny. How'd it go?
...........................
Great! That'll give 'em some confidence.
.................
Well, one goal is better than none. And the Wolves are the weakest team in the group, so we definitely needed the win.
.....................................................
But--
.........................
Fukushima out...that could be disastrous.
..................................
Well, make sure Delk shows up for training every single time. There's no way we're gonna keep up with Zucchini without a good keeper.
.....
Right.
.......................
Well, we haven't started yet. For some reason, we can't shake the Druids -- they're in our group again.
..................
Yeah, but they're stronger at this level. Anyway, I'll let you go, cause I am starving.
.........
All right. Show those Zucchinis who really has the better team.
*click*

Final score:
Bedistan 1 (Neighbors 62)
One Red Dot 0

[code:1:14a67fa4e0]Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts
1 Bedistan 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
2 Halfassedstates 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
3 Giant Zucchini 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
4 One Red Dot 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0[/code:1:14a67fa4e0]

Eauz

14-04-2004, 22:59

Le LIBRE

The World Cup starts with victory

In the first match of World Cup 13 in Cockburn against Dennisov who is expected to be one of the underdogs of the group, with Eauz being the second. The first match was played under a small crowd of fans, probably because the match was not a “great” match. Thus, for these 2 teams, it would be a key match to win, to have any chance of qualifying.

In the first half, Les Bleus and Dennisov started off the match on even amounts of strength, with barely any strong attacks. The few fans that were at the match were pretty much from Eauz, waving around Eauz flags. The first half ended in a 0 – 0 tie. Nothing exciting occurred.

The second half brought about a large change in atmosphere, as Les Bleus took control of the match. Les Bleus had control of the ball in the second half in the Dennisov zone, and capitalized on it, scoring during the 66th minute a goal, putting Les Bleus up 1 – 0. After that, there was not much to speak of. Les Bleus would take the match 1 – 0, giving them the win. After the match, Les Bleus found out that The Lowland Clans had also won against Tanah Burung, leaving TLC and Eauz tied for first.

As for the next match, Les Bleus will be playing against Emerald Heights neighbour in their next match against Tanah Burung. Expect an exciting match, with more fans attending the match. Experts say the reason there was not many fans at the first match, was because Dennisov is supporting its hockey teams, and thus, there is very little news reported about their National team. If Les Bleus win this match, they can qualify for the next round; a tie would leave the last match as a decider. Les Bleus will be pumped up about the LEAF match up of Tanah Burung and Eauz.

More information later…

[code:1:8c9840852f]
Group 8
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Eauz 3 1 0 0 1: 0 +1
2. The Lowland Clans 3 1 0 0 1: 0 +1
3. Tanah Burung 0 0 0 0 0: 1 -1
4. Dennisov 0 0 0 0 0: 1 -1
[/code:1:8c9840852f]

Eauz

14-04-2004, 22:59

Le LIBRE

The World Cup starts with victory

In the first match of World Cup 13 in Cockburn against Dennisov who is expected to be one of the underdogs of the group, with Eauz being the second. The first match was played under a small crowd of fans, probably because the match was not a “great” match. Thus, for these 2 teams, it would be a key match to win, to have any chance of qualifying.

In the first half, Les Bleus and Dennisov started off the match on even amounts of strength, with barely any strong attacks. The few fans that were at the match were pretty much from Eauz, waving around Eauz flags. The first half ended in a 0 – 0 tie. Nothing exciting occurred.

The second half brought about a large change in atmosphere, as Les Bleus took control of the match. Les Bleus had control of the ball in the second half in the Dennisov zone, and capitalized on it, scoring during the 66th minute a goal, putting Les Bleus up 1 – 0. After that, there was not much to speak of. Les Bleus would take the match 1 – 0, giving them the win. After the match, Les Bleus found out that The Lowland Clans had also won against Tanah Burung, leaving TLC and Eauz tied for first.

As for the next match, Les Bleus will be playing against Emerald Heights neighbour in their next match against Tanah Burung. Expect an exciting match, with more fans attending the match. Experts say the reason there was not many fans at the first match, was because Dennisov is supporting its hockey teams, and thus, there is very little news reported about their National team. If Les Bleus win this match, they can qualify for the next round; a tie would leave the last match as a decider. Les Bleus will be pumped up about the LEAF match up of Tanah Burung and Eauz.

More information later…

[code:1:ac0c11c427]
Group 8
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Eauz 3 1 0 0 1: 0 +1
2. The Lowland Clans 3 1 0 0 1: 0 +1
3. Tanah Burung 0 0 0 0 0: 1 -1
4. Dennisov 0 0 0 0 0: 1 -1
[/code:1:ac0c11c427]

The Eagles Nest

14-04-2004, 23:08

Eagle's Nest scores 3 in 2-1 win

Birds have at least share of the lead in Group E

K'haz'bak K'druz'ba D'gazh'dukh Stadium, Cokcbill Street, MatchDay 1:

Well, the scoring was all Eagle's Nest...unfortunately one of them was into their own net.

The Nest went out to a quick 1-0 lead when 15 minutes in Horace struck his patented hooking free kick to take the lead. At halftime the commentators were talking about the great defense played on both sides, and predicting that Commerce Heights should be able to tie this game up.

Well, they did when Nest defender Kai Osprey mishandled a pass back to Nathan Adams and shot the ball into the net 20 minutes into the second half, a stunned crowd watched Kai fall to his knees and stare at the ball as the 0 next to Commerce Heights change to a 1 on the scoreboard.

It appeared that the Win that the Nest had in hand would be lost when in the 1st extra time minute, a brutal tackle in the box gave the Nest a PK in extra time.

Strike Josh Adams went up, and the fans flashed back 3 games ago to the missed PK, and prayed that the miss would not occur, and as he kicked the ball, it sailed wide left.....he had missed again...

But the ref signaled that it did not count as some of the Commerce Heights players were not yet out of the box, and so Adams, visibly shaken after his second PK miss, stared at the goalie, and kicked it...straight. The goalie, jumped left, realized his mistake too late and couldn't get back in time. 2-1 Nest.

30 seconds later, the whistle was blown, and the Nest got out of there with a sloppy 2-1 win, and a very necessary 3 points.

The Next game against Runaway Moose could clinch transfer for the Nest as 6 points will almost always guarantee a transfer.

Scores of the Belmore Family-Runaway Moose match were unavailable at press time.

Scoring

The Eagle's Nest
Horace 15:28 (6)
K. Osprey (OG) 71:12
J. Adams (PK) (18 ) 90+1

Commerce Heights
None

[code:1:b4cea1bd0c]
Group E Standings:
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts
1 The Eagles Nest 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
2 The Belmore Family 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
3 Runaway Moose 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
4 Commerce Heights 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
[/code:1:b4cea1bd0c]

Squornshelous

15-04-2004, 01:14

Squornshelous may not have the smartest players, as evident by the constant misspelling of their moniker, the Psychos. However, these guys have football smarts which can take them rather far.

I actually spell it that way on purpose.

The Pressure is on After Dissapointing Loss
The Pschychoes had their impressive unbeaten streak shattered by Spaam today. They failed to generate any offense at all, and although they held Spaam to just one goal on few shots, it was enough to put them in a tough position for advancement. Squornshelous must now beat both Anteus Rising, a feat that eluded them in qualifying, and Nikea, which shouldn't present too much of a problem, but the added pressure will make things tougher. However, we are still optomistic about Squornshelous' chances for making the second round. Coach Newsome declined comment on the game, but it can be assumed that the forwards will be running some extra drills in practice.

Squornshleous' Scorers:
Jackson: 11
Richards: 5
Rivera: 3
Brooks: 3
Jones: 2
Chavez: 2
Stikolsmur: 1

(actual RP left to Spaam)

Eauz

15-04-2004, 02:46

Le Libre

Les Bleus predicted for First ?

A reporter from a non-qualified team in Melmond, has predicted that Les Bleus will claim first place of World Cup 13. The break down of the predicted win below...

[code:1:5f5172179e]
Prediction
1. Eauz
2. The Lowland Clans
3. Tanah Burung
4. Dennisov
[/code:1:5f5172179e]

Round of 16
Rejistania over Lemmitania
Snub Nose 38 over Oglethorpia
Squornshelous over Liverpool England
Audioslavia over Spaam
The Belmore Family over The Lowland Clans
Eauz over The Eagle’s Nest
Giant Zucchini over Cockbill Street
Halfassedstates over Europa Brittania

Quarterfinals
Rejistania over Squornshelous
Audioslavia over Snub Nose 38
Giant Zucchini over The Belmore Family
Eauz over Halfassedstates

Semifinals
Audioslavia over Rejistania
Eauz over Giant Zucchini

Finals
Eauz over Audioslavia

Experts of Eauz football have critisized this predictions saying, "Les Bleus have only reached the same place they have in the past. They have never made it to the Round of 16. At best, they will be able to reach Round 16 this time, but I doubt with all the good teams out there, Les Bleus will win it all, wait a few more years.

No matter what happens, this idea for the team created a higher moral. This gave them a chance at winning it all, over all the other great teams. We will see though how Les Bleus fair in this cup though...

Liverpool England

15-04-2004, 08:16

LEINN Sport - Special Edition
JH: Hello, you're watching LEINN Sport. The death of Sir Jim Whites, Liverpool England's WorldCup 8 winning manager, has brought the whole nation to tears. Here is LIVE footage of his funeral taking place.

Decaltré Jomans is in Rejistania, while Jamie West is in Orean. LIVE reports to come.

Jamie West joins us now via videophone from Orean, where the funeral is taking place. Also on the line, Decaltré is at the Hetkali Hotel in Hetkali, Rejistania where the national team wore black armbands against Sliponia. First to Decaltré, Do you get the sense that the team were not playing their whole tonight, even with the win against Sliponia?

DJ: Josh, not really, in fact I spoke to captain Kelvin Johnson and defender Dominic Dirosa, both felt they were playing better and giving more as a tribute to Sir Whites, and midfielder Kof Hadji has said the team want to win the World Cup.

JH: Now, experts from Melmond claim Eauz, a team who have never gotten out of the first round, will win the cup while the team would fall at the second hurdle against Squornshelous, whom Sir Whites' team defeated in WC8 on the road to the final?

DJ: Yes, that is correct, although local Rejistanian experts believe that the defending champions and hosts will retain the cup. Liverpool England face two tough opponents in Kerla and Audioslavia next, let's hope they can do better.

JW: Hello, Josh, yes, it really is a sombre mood here in Orean, all the World Cup winners from that WC8 team are here, and a bronze medallist from WC9 who played under Sir Whites, Steven Blackwell, joins me now. Thank you for joining us, Mr Blackwell.

SB: Thank you for having me.

JW: What did you make of that 2-0 win over Sliponia?

SB: A good win, great tribute to Sir Jim, I certainly hope they can play better and go as far as they can for Sir Jim.

JW: They have not made it out of the First Round for two cups or so now, do you think that they will do it?

SB: It is an easy group, bar Audioslavia. I certainly hope so.

JW: Josh?

Spaam

15-04-2004, 08:28

United Spaam Sports Weekly

Total N Utter Jackass Is A Poopy Head

Revenge Puts Spaam In Great Position

Spaam and Squornshelous have only met once before at World Cup level, in World Cup 5, in which they beat Spaam 2-0 in the round of 16 and sent
them packing. This time around, it was not going to be any easier, with Squornshelous ranked 6th in the world, and having gone through the
preliminary competition unbeaten. Both teams had full strength sides in this matchup, with this being the premier game of the group. Fans were
especially looking forward to seeing two of the premier strikers in this tournament, number 2 Meren Lûin for Spaam, who scored 16 goals in her
17 games in the preliminary competition, and number 9 Koren Jackson for Squornshelous who scored 11 goals in his 18 games. Also to look forward
to were the two great goalkeepers of the side, Toby Allen for Squornshelous, who let through just 6 goals in his 18 games, and the great
Alátari Súrion, who let through just 7 in her 17 games, and hadn't let a goal in for her past 7 matches.

[code:1:2cba3e2734] United Spaam Squornshelous

G: [3] A. Súrion Allen T. [1]
D: [5] F. Súrion Edmonds K. [2]
D: [10] M. Zevlak Arnaud S. [8]
D: [17] T. Klos Truman Z. [17]
M: [4] E. Súrion Richards J. [7]
M: [9] T. Rasa Rivera T. [15]
M: [15] M. Murav Stikolsmur S. [16]
M: [20] P. Sibik Fink A. [21]
F: [1] N. Eromleb Chavez F. [3]
F: [2] M. Lûin Jones T. [6]
F: [6] E. Olisade Jackson K. [9]
[/code:1:2cba3e2734]

The game started off tightly with neither team giving much ground, the Pschychoes doing most of the pushing and getting most of the possession.
Both teams played so well, that the first shot on goal, didn't come until the 20th minute of the game, when Tomas Klos tripped while marking Koren
Jackson, which allowed him to approach the goal and shoot from 10 metres out in a pure one on one. However, the Spaamanian goalkeeper
showed why she hadn't let a goal through in over 12 hours worth of football, predicting the shot perfectly, keeping the scoreboard empty.
There were futher chances in the half after that from both teams, Nala Eromleb managing to run away with the ball, his shot on goal just oging
wide, and Tobias Jones missing the header from a corner shot that could've put his side in the lead.

The second half saw more play making, though the game was still played very tightly, with few shots able to be made. However, in the 54th minute,
Meren Lûin got the ball from a Makí Murav corner, steadied it, and gave Toby Allen no chance by rocketing it straight past him. Spaam were then
up 1-0 with over half an hour to go, and it saw Squornshelous pick up their pace, smothering the Spaamanian attack, and punishing their defense.
The pivotal point in the game was in the 70th minute, when both number 15s Makí Murav of Spaam and Tito Rivera of Squornshelous collided in a
dubious play, which saw them both get yellow cards and were immediately substituted with bleeding noses. Both teams calmed their play after that,
unwilling to risk a red card, and so it was an anti climactic last 20 minutes of the game, with the score board remaining unchanged.

The win for Spaam proves to be incredibly important, as Squornshelous was their toughest opponent in their group, and Spaam cannot afford to
lose if they want a real chance at progressing. With the Nikea vs Antaeus Rising game yet to be played, Spaam will be hoping for a draw, as that will
give them a 2 point lead in the group, and will almost guarantee them a spot in the next round if they don't lose. Spaam will be playing Antaeus
Rising next, a team they have never played at World Cup level, and is ranked 32nd in the world. A loss to this team would almost certainly
cripple Spaam's prospects, so the win is exceptionally crucial.

Civil Rights Groups Angered By HOMO Of TnUI

The Spaamanian Transsexual Rights Association Incorporating Gays Homosexuals and Transvestites (STRAIGHT) have reacted against the
Homophobic Obstreperous Multitude Organization (HOMO) of TnUI, after the latter group made offensive accusations about Spaamanian media
propogating gay and lesbian propoganda. "The media should be free to report on the inalieable rights of others," exclaims STRAIGHT president,
Karson Kresslé, "and if that includes lesbian relationships, then so be it. If people don't want to read about that stuff, then they can crawl back into
their hole, and make sure not to read anything coming out of Spaam." There is a protest in protest of the HOMO protest in protest against
Spaamanian media planned by the STRAIGHT group tomorrow.

http://themauve.net/balogue/archives/carson_bio_pic.jpg

STRAIGHT president Karson Kresslé

One Red Dot

15-04-2004, 10:08

The Red Dot Informant

Red Dot Concede Goal to Neighbors, Symbol of Beginning of End?

COCKBILL STREET - The Wolves in the Northset County Cricket Ground in CBS played against the Bedistani Lions for the first time ever, and it was a pretty even match, not until the 62nd minute when Neighbors scored the only goal in the entire match.

Now, One Red Dot lies at the bottom of the bottom of the table, alongside regional neighbour Giant Zucchini, who also conceded a goal, this time to the Halfassed Hurricanes.

The next match will be against Halfassedstates, and this match will be critical in ddetermining whether One Red Dot proceeds to the next round. Then gain the odds are against them.

Group G Tables, provided by Cockbill Street and Rejistania
[code:1:45096f7141]
Pos Team P W D L F A GD Pts
1 Bedistan 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
1 Halfassedstates 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3
3 Giant Zucchini 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0
3 One Red Dot 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0[/code:1:45096f7141]

Match Fixtures for One Red Dot {Day 2~3}
One Red Dot v Halfassedstates @ Jotneheim Park, Cockbill Street
One Red Dot v Giant Zucchini @ K'haz'bak K'druz'ba D'gazh'dukh, Cockbill Street

Cockbill Street

15-04-2004, 12:53

Ankh-Morpork C-mail
Cockbill Street Department

World Cup Kicks Off With A Draw
Still In With Second Round Shout

After years of waiting, the Cockbill Street footballers are finally back on the international stage with a match against two-time world champions Europa Brittania. Some of our readers might remember that classic qualifying encounters the Streeters had with the Britannians, winning both in quite a surprising style. Of course, the guys eventually lost in the play-offs, so the effort was futile. Nevertheless, the Streeters were determined to keep their undefeated streak against the Brits on the absolutely packed Vimesbairn National - with 150,000 football-crazy Streeters.

And it started well. A quick raid down the left side from debutant Simon Jones followed by an excellent cross was headed into the bar. Another shot from twenty meters, made by another debutant, Alec Peterson, just went over and wide of the intersection between post and bar.

Then the Brits came back. A long, but good, attack that eliminated all the Streetian defenders was finished off by an excellent shot to the right of new keeper Johnny Rowan (0-1, 24th minute). And from a free kick, needlessly given away by Helen Carpenter as she shoved Kiwitz down outside the box. He took the free kick himself, which curved past Rowan and into the goal (0-2, 39th minute).

Although Rowan hadn't done much wrong on the two goals, he was looking decidedly sloppy out there, and nobody were surprised when Robbie Curbishley, the 29-year-old from Jorvik, substituted him at half-time. He did better, rushing out a couple of times on corner kicks to grab it properly or box it - not like Rowan, who had mostly stood defensively on his line. He also possesses an excellent throwing-arm, which held the key to the recovery for the Streeters.

Bjorn Hammerhock, still national right-winger despite his age, received one of these long throws from Curbishley. He proceeded to rush past the Brittish left back, and was subsequently left one-on-one with the keeper. He rushed out, and Hammerhock cheekily lobbed it over - but not into the goal! Instead, it went to the rushing Greg Pollock, who had come from just behind off-side to get about 20 square metres of goal to aim at. He slotted it into the top corner (1-2, 51st minute).

That brought an offensive substitution from the Streeters. Already playing in a 3-4-3, their manager, Ian Olsen, substituted Robert Hauritz, a more defensive anchor player, for Thomas Lehrer, the free-kick specialist and offensive midfielder. The trick worked, as Cockbill Street put more and more pressure on and created more and more chances. In the seventy-third minute, however, it backfired, as Helen Carpenter again had to foul a Brittish player - and got her second booking and sent off for it. The free kick came to nothing, but with only two defenders and ten creatures on the pitch, it would prove hard to beat.

Petter Stonelover came on for Simon Jones as the last subsitution, and the Streeters had to withdraw into their own half a bit. Nevertheless, the Brittish didn't take that opportunity to attack with eleven against ten, which proved their demise. The Streeters realised that they had a genuine chance of drawing this, and in the eighty-second minute, they were awarded a free kick from about forty metres. Lehrer crossed it, onto the head of Johnny Ball and further on to Alec Peterson's chest. He didn't get much peace with it, but still managed to play an excellent ball through to the third striker, Pollock, who slotted in his second of the day - it was 2-2! The Streeters then managed to withdraw into their own half, and the match petered out to a draw.

Europa Brittania 2 (??? 24, Kiwitz 39)
Cockbill Street 2 (Pollock 51, 82)

Cockbill Street team: Rowan 4 (Curbishley 6 on 46) - Goldminer 6, Carpenter 5 off 73, Chalky 5 - Jones 6 (Stonelover on 77), Hauritz 5 (Lehrer on 66), H Axewielder 6, Hammerhock 5 - Pollock 7, Peterson 7, Ball 6.

Audioslavia

15-04-2004, 20:18

Cop Kerla!
..better them than us

Audioslavia set off on the world cup trail with a success over the perennial mid-carders Kerla yesterday with a confortable 2-0 victory.

Arkanoid F.C.'s Ben Pearce got the 'slaves ahead after eighteen minutes as Audioslavia topped off a spell of pressure with a Callum Jensen cross which was flicked in off the bar by the head of the young centre-back. Pearce, who's 21 in August, was playing his first game as a starter for the 'slaves, picked ahead of Lee Branson after his impresive performances for his Zucchinian club.

Branson now prefers to keep himself on the subs bench, the 36-year-old preferring to put James Reid in at right-centre-back instead of himself. Reid, who usually plays bang in the centre, looked somewhat out of sorts in the first half, being caught out of position as a Kerlan attack almost brought a goal for the left-winger, as he found himself in a space where Reid should have been, and whipped a shot past Jones which luckily grazed the upright.

Kerla had another oppotunity on the half-hour, with the number nine breaking through past Alan City's Aiden Carsley and laying the ball off for the other Kerlan striker to hit. The guy hit it as hard as he could, but a spectacular leap by Jones and the length of his middle finger somehow knocked the ball over the bar.

As Reid went to congratulate his keeper, Jones didnt appear to be too happy. The 23-year old Alan City goalkeeper stayed down clutching his ankle. Replays showed that he'd fell on it awkwardly, and Robert had to be hoisted off the field. Post-match scans showed it was just a twisted ankle, and the keeper should be ready for the third match against Sliponia.

Lee Branson replaced the injured player with Real Libertad goalkeeper James Scott. Although two years younger than Jones, Scott has just as much big-game experience, as he was the infallible goalkeeper who took part in Audioslavia's U21 triumph. Jones only played his first match for Audioslavia a year ago, as he only just got out of the shadow of the veteran Matty Pedder.

Scott and Jones are predicted to be battling it out for the number one jersey all through their careers, and Scott didnt do his chances any harm with his second-half display for the 'slaves. Stopping a seemingly unstoppable header and spreading himself well to half the Kerlan winger in his tracks, Scott kept Audioslavia's lead in a period where Kerla were getting through Pearce, Carsley and Reid all too easily. With half an hour left, Branson brought himself on for an ineffective Jordi Neeskens in midfield to give the 'slaves some more strength in defence, and also brought Yves Maartins on for a dissapointing Aaron O`Malley in attack.

Steadily, the Kerlan the new-look 'slave side came together. The Kerlan attacks decreased in frequency and ferocity, and Audioslavia took the game by the scruff of the neck. Maartins set up Willow for a shot at goal which he duly put past the post and Jackie Croft had a chip cleared off the line, before wunderkid Jeff Jordan rifled in a seventy-fifth minute winner from 20 yards. The midfielder recieved the ball from a pinged pass by Branson and flicked it backwards to Jensen, who played a one-two with Maartins and squared it back to Jordan who'd found acres of space on the left hand side, and the 21-year old Raiden midfielder picked his spot with a spectacular curling effort.

Audioslavia regained their confidence and looked like adding a third as Kerla faded away. Branson came close with a long-range effort, substitute Carl Myerscough scuffed a chance from close range, and Jonny Willow had another chance which he somehow missed from six yards.

Audioslavia finished on top, but the lack of ideas created by their strike-force is something of a cause for concern.

Final Score
Audioslavia 2 (Pearce 18, Jordan 75)
Kerla 0

Svecia

16-04-2004, 02:37

SVENCIKA KVÄLLSTIDNING

TWICE IS NICE
Cardini strikes home two in first World Cup win since WC11
Fredag 16 April, 2004

REJISTANIA - The happy effects of the bright sunny day on the pale Svecian fans, who had obviously not had the benefits of UV rays during their nations winter, paled in comparison with the happy effects of the end result of the voetbal game they had all come to watch.

Svecia's 2-1 victory over Belmorian Scandinavia, whose fans also seemed pretty pale from their Scandinavian winter, puts them in a good starting position for their 11th world cup appearance.

Fransisco Cardini started the scoring off in the 21st minute with a massive header over the BS defender on a corner from Hanan Belagt. BS answered with a header of their own off a corner 10 minutes later leaving the sides level at 1 going into halftime.

But it was Svecia that came out stronger in the second half, controlling the ball and creating opportunities that put Belmorian Scandinavia on their heels for most of the latter 45 minutes.

Cardini's game winner was a breakaway on a perfect lob from Mikael Solskjaer in the 77th minute. He spryly dribbled around the stranded keeper, showing some fancy footwork, and then neatly slotted the ball inside the right post and a sliding defender.

The win was Svecia's first World Cup final win since WC11 where they just barely squeeked into the second round. In WC 12, Svecia managed no wins and only one tie as they finished last in their group and went home early.

The team and their blindingly white fans hope to stick around in the wonderful climate of Rejistania for a little longer this year.

Oglethorpia

16-04-2004, 05:42

Bureaucratic Broadcasting Network Sports
Live World Cup coverage on BBNS!

Live World Cup Coverage

REVEREND MIKE WHITE: Welcome, fellow World Cup fans! I'm Reverend Mike White, and we're here live in Rejistania covering today's Wonderteam matchup pitting the Oglethorpian national side against the feared Lemmings from Lemmitania. Joining me for today's commentary is the always-exciting Ray McHale.

RAY MCHALE: Good to be here, Reverend.

REV. WHITE: And down on the field we've got Eduardo Escobar, alongside Oglethorpian replacement manager Frank Face of the Neverton football orginization. Eduardo, take us away.

[Down on the field.]

EDUARDO ESCOBAR: Thanks Mike. We're talking to Frank Face, who's standing in for the recently retired Dick Egoson. Frank, you've already coached the final day of World Cup 10 qualifying -- anything different for this first round matchup against a skilled Lemmitanian team?

FRANK FACE: Actually yes, Eduardo. Whereas World Cup 10 was a relaxed match that didn't require much skill from me as we were almost surely qualified, we're looking at a difficult match against a good team here. Since I don't want to risk trying to do good and losing by a close margin (which would end in utter disappointment after building everyone watching at home for triumph) we're just going to try and lose outright when the game begins. No sense in giving people false hope, you know? So we're just gunna totally botch it so that no one gets their hopes up and ends up being disappointed.

EDUARDO: ...

FACE: No, i'm just kidding Eduardo. We're going to give it our all -- Torrence Black is looking better than ever, and Ken'Ichi Yamamoto is an amazing keeper.

EDUARDO: Frank, don't you think your previous statements are just a bit controversial?

FACE: How so?

EDUARDO: Consider that Neverton is 2-5-10 in LEAF-season play.

FACE: Neverton doesn't have the same skill pool as the Wonderteam -- two different things Eduardo, and i'm leading the Wonderteam to victory, make no mistake.

EDUARDO: All right. That was Frank Face, stand-in Wonderteam manager. Best of luck to him and the Wonderteam against Lemmitania. Back to you in the studio, Reverend White.

[Up in the studio.]

RAY MCHALE: Let's take a look at the starting rosters for the Lemmitanian Lemmings.

REVEREND MIKE WHITE: Let's.

MCHALE: Starting in goal for Lemmitania is Joe Lally -- left for dead in a visit to Dire Arachnia gone awry many score ago, most thought the Lemmitanian keeper of old was devoured by a mounstrous spider and no one thought anything of it after the event. But it seems that Joe Lally has made his way back from the plains of Dire Arachnia to once again play goal for the Lemmings.

REV. WHITE: He looks jumpier than ever. In a good way, i'm hoping.

MCHALE: Of exceptional note is Lemmette Blue -- the female sibling of Lemstein Blue who was the starting goalkeeper all throughout qualifying, but is taking up benchwarming duties this match after a shaky matchday eighteen preformance. Joe Lally was great in the last Cup he played before a length tenure surviving in the Dire Arachnian swamps, and i'm sure he'll be just as good against Oglethorpia.

REV. WHITE: The Lemmitanian backfield seems to be led by Master Cletus Masterson-

MCHALE: "Master" Cletus Masterson?

REV. WHITE: That's his title. Like, his official title. He is masterful, that Masterson -- damn good defender. Also in back are Louie Lemmingson, Lana Keinstein, who's playing beside her brother Lenny Keinstein.

MCHALE: Grant Masonson is playing left-midfield, alongside Clem Lumplings, Mookie Lemmlock, with Mark M. Mickson rounding out right-midfield.

REV. WHITE: And I suppose it would be prudent to point out that Mark M. Mickson bears no relation at all to Richard M. Nixon.

MCHALE: Right. No Watergate there, aheheheh.

REV. WHITE: Anyways, finally we have Lemstein Blue playing center forward (brother of Lemmette) backed up by another strong forward, Lance Llamabuster.

MCHALE: Heheh...bet Lance'as busted a few llamas in his day...

REV. WHITE: [Pause.] Right. Yeah, sure, if it floats your boat. Now, on with the roster for the Oglethorpian Wonderteam.

MCHALE: Right on...Ken'Ichi Yamamoto is back in the box behind Mike Brown, Samson Grey and Rodney Heathen -- who is making a name for himself as a TV star, despite lacking in any footballing skill.

REV. WHITE: Because footballing skill doesn't really matter so much if you're a good TV star.

MCHALE: Oh, yeah, totally.

REV. WHITE: I was being sarcastic.

MCHALE: Oh. Well, we've got Jerome Furukawa, Fernando Green, Floyd Black and Baltasar Grey making up the midfield -- one of the strongest midfields in all the Emerald Heights.

REV. WHITE: And finally Torrence Black, Jorge White and Hans Gelb are up front leading Oglethorpia's 3-4-3.

MCHALE: Finally, the Wonderteam is under the fine stewardship of stand-in manager Frank Face -- with the Lemmings following the guidance of their own Mick Mickelson.

REV. WHITE: And now we've got our own Eduardo Escobar in the box, just minutes from kick off. Eduardo, any thoughts before the match gets underway?

EDUARDO ESCOBAR: Not really, no.

MCHALE: C'mon.

EDUARDO: Okay, okay, i'll do it. You convinced me. My opinion? The Wonderteam can't do anything against Joe Lally. That man is incomparable, and it'll be a tough time getting past him. I don't know if anything could phase that guy.

REV. WHITE: Not even a giant spider?

EDUARDO: My money says no. Based on Lally's skill, I say Lemmitania takes this one home -- just one goal and they'll hold off the Wonderteam the whole match.

REV. WHITE: What's Mr. McHale got to say about this Oglethorpia-Lemmitania matchup?

MCHALE: Completely a tossup. Either side could take it -- i'm leaning towards a draw on this one, but to me, Lemmitania seems the stronger side. The Lemmings play smart and have a fine eleven -- no doubt it's going to be a good match.

REV. WHITE: On with the coin toss, then.

[Down on the field.]

REFEREE: Fernando Green, of the Wonderteam! Lemstein Blue, of the Lemmings -- we will flip a coin to determine who gets to call the toss when we flip the coin a second time to determine who starts off this group A first round match. Heads -- Lemmings, leaving birdy-body-beak thingy-

FERNANDO GREEN: Tails.

REFEREE: ...as I was saying, leaving the birdy-body-beak thingy to the Wonderteam.

[The ref flips the coin.]

REFEREE: Lemmitania to select the coin! Mr. Blue, please call the toss.

LEMSTEIN BLUE: Eh, eh? Itzallabout the 'ead, hey? 'wot else 'ould it 'ossibly be?

REFEREE: ...Mr. Blue, please repeat the call.

LEMSTEIN: 'eads, hey! 'eads! 'EADS!

REFEREE: What the-

FERNANDO: It's "heads." He's saying heads.

REFEREE: HEY! FERNANDO GREEN did not win the toss, so he may not select the outcome of the toss. Now, since Mr. Blue has called heads-

LEMSTEIN: 'EADS!

REFEREE: Oh. Uhhh..., right. "'EADS," I meant. Since Mr. Blue has called 'eads, let us proceed with the toss...

[The ref flips the coin yet again.]

REFEREE: Birdy-body-beak thing! Wonderteam ball.

[Up in the studio.]

RAY MCHALE: Ah, the coin toss. Always exciting.

REVEREND MIKE WHITE: Customarily time consuming...but customary none the less. And kickoff begins with Torrence Black...down to forward Hans Gelb...

EDUARDO ESCOBAR: Y'know Ray, i've been thinkin'.

MCHALE: Yeah?

EDUARDO: Yeah, and now i'll get on with it. The only way that Oglethorpia could really win this match is if some of those Lemmings spontaenously combusted-

REV. WHITE: Oh, naive Eduardo. Naive naive Eduardo. Everyone knows there's no such thing as spontaenous combustion.

EDUARDO: Says who?

REV. WHITE: Science, Eduardo. It's never been documented before.

EDUARDO: That's not what Lemmitanian radio says.

MCHALE: He's right. Haven't you ever heard of it? When you're about to spontaenously combust, numbers appear above your head that count down the impending doom.

EDUARDO: Somethin' about "busting-itis" or some fancy-pants doctor name.

REV. WHITE: Well, after that enlightening little speech, Lemmitania has already made their first attempt on Yamamoto-san in goal -- Lemstein Blue's goal punched away. And there's the corner -- it's headed away.

EDUARDO: Well Mike, all I can say is you'll be damn sorry when you start tickin' down towards your combustion and you'll remember how you told us we were fools for believing in what's happenin' to you.

MCHALE: Can't teach a baby horse old tricks. Or however that sayin' goes.

REV. WHITE: Well, just seconds past 20 minutes into the match -- the Wonderteam and the Lemmings with one attempt on goal each. Both on target -- truly an evenly matched game.

[All of a sudden, a man bursts into the studio breathing heavily.]

MCHALE: Bruce Corwin!?

REV. WHITE: Oh, hey Bruce.

BRUCE CORWIN: Sorry i'm late guys. Miss anything?

REV. WHITE: Actually...no. I forgot to inform the viewers at home you were even showing up.

BRUCE: Well, i'm- actually, Reverend White can introduce me.

REV. WHITE: Bruce- Bruce- uh, Bruce...White?

BRUCE: Corwin.

REV. WHITE: Right. Mr. Corwin is a...a...spec- reknowned...

BRUCE: Former international footballer.

REV. WHITE: Yeah, that's it. And now, he's an esteemed...TV- dude. TV dude.

BRUCE: Uh, yeah, sure.

REV. WHITE: Folks, we're looking at a neck-and-neck match -- neither the Lemmings or the Wonderteam have yet to gain the upperhand, the match only ten- nine minutes away from the half.

MCHALE: Wait...oh! Look at that Lemstein Blue volley from midfield!

EDUARDO: Hold on- did it just hit so-

REV. WHITE: It looks as if Wonderteam defender Rodney Heathen has taken the shot to face.

EDUARDO: I thought so. And...Heathen is down for the count. He's not moving. Boy, I sure hope Rodney [Heathen] doesn't end up in the box like me...considering my football accident caused my career change which puts me here, com mentating football.

MCHALE: Might be so as they're takin' Heathen off the field...Jim Green is in as his substitute.

REV. WHITE: And it seems with that, we're at the half. Now we'll take a look at the half in review. Bruce, give me your thoughts.

BRUCE: Uh...

REV. WHITE: Uh?

BRUCE: I wasn't really watching.

REV. WHITE: Okay then. Eduardo, who's looking the better side after 45 minutes of play? The Wonderteam or Lemmitania?

EDUARDO: Huh?

REV. WHITE: I was saying, who loo-

EDUARDO: Heh, I was just kidding. I heard you loud and clear. Anyways, it's tough to say -- both look the same, and it really is tough to choose a winner here. But if you want to know what I think...

REV. WHITE: Yeah. That was the idea of the question.

EDUARDO: Oh. Well, the Wonderteam doesn't stand a chance unless someone on the Lemmitanian team spontaenously combusts. Preferably their striker, or their keeper. Both are kicking ass.

REV. WHITE: How many times do I have to tell you? There's no such thing as spontaneous combustion. It'll never happen.

BRUCE: Spontaneous combustion? How's that work?

EDUARDO: Well, it's sort of hard to explain. But basically-

MCHALE: You blow up. Boom. And there's nothing left of you.

EDUARDO: Except your shoes.

REV. WHITE: I'll interrupt our viewer's tutorial in spontaneously combustion and say this; that Lemstein Blue has kicked off for Lemmitania starting the second half.

BRUCE: So you say anyone could spontaneously combust?

EDUARDO: Yep.

MCHALE: That's the idea.

BRUCE: Even me?

EDUARDO: Anyone.

BRUCE: [PH34RS.]

REV. WHITE: And Lemstein Blue once again has the ball. Now, down to Lance Llamabuster...

MCHALE: The llama buster in chief.

REV. WHITE: And...OH GOOD GOD WHAT IS THAT?

EDUARDO: What's what? Who's who? What?

REV. WHITE: Ladies and gentlemen, a giant spider has just entered the stadium -- and secuirity have already surrounded the spider.

[Down on the field.]

MALEFICUS: What? What are you all doing? Can't a giant evil spider just watch some football?

SECUIRITY GUY #1: BACK! BACK EVIL SPIDER!

MALEFICUS: This is oppressive.

[Suddenly, Joe Lally, who has had bad experiences with spiders during his years stuck in Dire Arachnia after a tour gone awry, runs out of the stadium screaming. Maleficus takes off in pursuit.]

MALEFICUS: Coooome back here Joe Lally!

[Exit Maleficus and Joe Lally.[/i]]

[Up in the box.]

MCHALE: Well, it seems that Joe Lally has fled the stadium at the site of Maleficus, who i'm sure you all remember had a short tenure as the first Lemmitanian giant evil spider football commentator.

REV. WHITE: Emphasis on evil.

EDUARDO: The last too, I believe. Y'know, after he ate someone. Giant evil spiders are vicious.

BRUCE: Y'know, i'm just hopin' Lally doesn't have any more experiences with giant evil spiders. Surviving years in their nation must be hell.

REV. WHITE: And with Lally being pursued by Maleficus, the giant evil spider- emphasis on EVIL -- Lemmette Blue, Lemstein's sister, is in to play goal for Lemmitania.

EDUARDO: The Lemmings better hope she'll play as strong a game of goal as Lally was. Y'know, pre-spider pursuing, or whatever you want to call it.

REV. WHITE: It seems as if Oglethorpia is already testing the waters -- Wonderteam forward Torrence Black already traveling up the side of the pitch. Down to Jorge White...to Hans Gelb -- he takes the shot -- and it's stopped in its tracks. With that, Lemmette Blue has just scored her first save of the World Cup proper.

MCHALE: And to all Rodney Heathen fans -- it turns out that he's okay after all.

EDUARDO: Nothin' wrong at all, huh?

MCHALE: Wait, nevermind. The pretty-boy TV personality is left disfigured and ugly, which'll probably end his career considering his face was what everyone loved him for. Isn't that a damn shame?

EDUARDO: I guess it's better to burn out than fade away.

REV. WHITE: And following the update on Rodney Heathen comes new vigor from the Wonderteam offense...Fernando Green has the ball from midfield, and now up to Torrence Black. Now it's up to Hans Gelb...and Master Cletus Masterson looks ready to make the tackle -- oh my...as if things weren't strange enough, they just got stranger with CLETUS MASTERSON SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTING!

EDUARDO: I TOLD YOU! Ladies and gentlemen, viewers of all ages, you all heard me tell you it could happen to ANYONE!

MCHALE: And Hans Gelb looks like he's alright -- but all that's left of Cletus Masterson are his shoes. Boy, talk about some souvenirs in those things huh?

BRUCE: And so passes a fine footballer. Comin' in for the now dead Cletus Masterson is Jem Lemmingbrau...visibly shaken up by the events.

REV. WHITE: Here's to Cletus Masterson...truly a masterful player who is in a better place, i'm sure.

BRUCE: What's this, now?

MCHALE: Referee's called a red card on Master Cletus Masterson -- such a blatantly violent and vicious tackle, involving pyrotechnics and whatnot. Looks like Jem Lemmingbrau isn't about to take his place after all. Now the Lemmings only have 10 left...

EDUARDO: And they're crossing their fingers no more explode.

REV. WHITE: Hans Gelb takes the free kick...and it's good! Eduardo, give it to the viewers at home.

EDUARDO: GGGOOOOOOAAAAAALLL!!!

MCHALE: Hans Gelb for Oglethorpia in the 71st minute, off of a free kick following Cletus Masterson's spontaneous combustion. Mick Mickelson'll be lookin' for an equalizer here, but after the Masterson incident -- they may be a bit discouraged down there.

EDUARDO: Well, both teams seem to be battling it out for possession in midfield.

MCHALE: Ooohhh...nasty tackle there by Mark M. Mickson...let's go down to our camera men on the pitch.

[Down on the field.]

REFEREE: Bad tackle -- yellow on Mickson!

MARK M. MICKSON: I am naughhwtt a crooowwkkk.

[Up in the studio.]

REV. WHITE: Oglethorpia takes the free kick -- nothin' doing. Lemstein Blue has got the ball now and is tryin' to get his side back in the game.

EDUARDO: Lemmitania looks offsides -- Lemstein takes the shot anyways and scores!

MCHALE: The linesman doesn't agree...offsides, Lemmitania still down 1-nil.

REV. WHITE: It's the 80th, and the Wonderteam still seems to want another goal to lock things up.

MCHALE: Hans Gelb is leading another charge...look at him. He's goin' solo and doesn't need-

BRUCE: Or want, for that matter.

MCHALE: No help for Gelb.

REV. WHITE: Takes the shot...

EDUARDO: GGGOOOOOOAAAAAALLL!!!

BRUCE: Oh no.

REV. WHITE: And now Hans Gelb has spontaneously combusted! I don't believe it. Hans Gelb, the winning goals in the 71st and 82nd, has now spontaneously combusted onfield along with Lemmitania's own Cletus Masterson. Disaster is all I can say, folks.

BRUCE: Another fine footballer -- Hans Gelb, who won the game, has gone to a better place.

EDUARDO: No red card on Hans Gelb -- he's replaced by Jim Falls, and now both teams have lost fine footballers.

MCHALE: Well folks, certainly an education in spontaneous combustion.

REV. WHITE: And with that, the match is over. Fulltime is called -- Oglethorpia 2 - 0 Lemmitania. The Lemmings lost defender Cletus Masterson to spontaneous combustion, and goalkeeper Joe Lally fled the stadium, while the Wonderteam's Hans Gelb also spontaneously combusted.

EDUARDO: Well, Hans Exploidiert (as he shall go down in history as) scored the two winning goals -- and then exploded. A fine player, and one who will be missed.

REV. WHITE: That's it. Oglethorpia wins 2-nil in its first first round match of World Cup 13. For Eduardo Escobar, Ray McHale and Bruce Corwin, i'm the Reverend Mike White -- and good night, football fans.

The Belmore Family

16-04-2004, 08:26

OOC: YAHOOOOO IT'S MY 14th BIRTHDAY!!!!

You better appriciate this RP, it took me 2 days to write

IC:WARNING LOOOOOOOONG POST.

Belmorians beat Runaway Moose in an intense battle

This match was the one to watch today as the Belmorians, back from a disappointing WC12, were hoping to progress to the second round. And Runaway Moose, after their entry form got lost in the post on the way to the WCC building in Ariddia for WC12, were hoping to bounce back and grab a victory.

The game began with drama. After only 7 minutes <player 8> found himself off* for an outrageous challenge on Birrel Gray, taking him out for probably the duration of the cup. So Ben Calshaw came on and will hold that position for the rest of the cup. But now, TBF, 1 man up and were spirited to avenge Lucas’s injury. But, Runaway Moose were not going to be a walkover. And in producing the best chance of the match they proved just that. The chance fell to <player 9> who, after collecting a through ball from <player 6> was one-on-one with the keeper, unluckily blasting the ball over the goal. At the other side of the pitch Rivers came close with a low volley palmed away by their keeper.

As the teams came out for the second half, both managers knew it would be the team with most determination who would win. And as the half progressed Runaway Moose were looking stronger and stronger. But after 63 minutes it was the Belmorians who got the breakthrough. The goal came from a neat move starting with a stunning goal kick by Gadd flying halfway into the Runaway Moose’s half. As Potter collected he saw Oddedra on the right and he promptly knocked the ball to him on the edge of the box. Oddedra then had the simple task of knocking the ball to Belmore to tap into the back of the net. But Runaway Moose did not give up. <player 9> almost equalised but thanks to the heroics of Robin Aggleton on the line we kept the ball out. Aggleton was also involved in the second goal. With the 90- minutes up, TBF were just looking to play it around at end up with a victory but sharp eyed Aggleton found Rivers making a darting run through their defence, needing him only to tap the ball past their keeper.

FINAL SCORE

THE BELMORE FAMILY 2

RUNAWAY MOOSE 0

OOC:* You can ignore this if you wish

The Day Before

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Daily Belmorian WC Preview

Group Stage:
[code:1:91494bf001]Group A
1 Rejistania
2 Total n Utter Insanity
3 Gesamtkuntswerk
4 Snub Nose 38 [/code:1:91494bf001]

This group is a toughie. 4 top team all participating in the fight to qualify.

Rejistania (1) - World Cup 12 Champions. Are in with a good chance of progressing, but as we all know, retaining a title is very hard, Brazillico the only nation in history to do so. They do have the home crowd and should have a great cup.

Total n Utter Insanity (11) - They’ve been in tough groups before and done well. Notably WC12’s grouping with us. They will find it hard to progress in such a tough group and will need to perform well in the Rejistania match to proceed we think.

Gesamkunstwerk (21) - They are looking good in this group. After storming qualification they should find the group of death not too bad. They’re main concentration as well should be on the Rejistania game.

Snub Nose 38 (33) – The big under performers. After 11 world Cups and no real success to talk of Snub Nose 38 will be looking for something this cup, though I can’t say they’ll get it.

Matches to watch:
MD1: Total n Utter Insanity Vs Rejistania
MD2: Snub Nose 38 Vs Total n Utter Insanity

Our Prediction:
[code:1:91494bf001]
Rejistania 1-1 Total n Utter Insanity
Gesamkunstwerk 2-1 Snub Nose 38

Gesamkunstwerk 0-2 Rejistania
Total n Utter Insanity 2-1 Snub Nose 38

Rejistania 3-1 Snub Nose 38
Total n Utter Insanity 2-2 Gesamkunstwerk

Name W D L F A GD Pts
Rejistania 2 1 0 6 2 +4 7
Total n Utter Insanity 1 2 0 5 4 +1 5
Gesamkunstwerk 1 1 1 4 5 -1 4
Snub Nose 38 0 0 3 3 7 -4 0[/code:1:91494bf001]

[code:1:91494bf001]Group B
1 Oglethorpia
2 Lemmitania
3 Belmorian Scandinavia
4 Svecia [/code:1:91494bf001]

Oglethorpia (10) – Oglethorpia have had a good few cups recently, and will expect to continue their good form from this relitavly easy group. Their main opposition will be Lemmitania, but they should get in the top 2.

Lemmitania (16) – Lemmitania are looking ok for this cup. Their poor performance in WC12 will be dispelled and hopefully they will get back to their winning ways. Their original style of football is always a joy to watch.

Belmorian Scandinavia (33) – Well, what can we say. Colony of our great nation, they have only ever scored 1 point in 2 world cup finals. I don’t think you can expect them to do much better in Rejistania.

Svecia (21) – They have an outside chance of qualifying. Once a great side, reaching the quarter finals in World Cup 7 they seem to have peaked. With their defensive side, very much like Belmorian Scandinavia they seem to lack upfront.

Matches to watch:
MD1: Lemmitania Vs Oglethorpia
MD1: Svecia Vs Belmorian Scandinavia

Our Prediction:
[code:1:91494bf001]
Lemmitania 0-2 Oglethorpia
Svecia 0-0 Belmorian Scandinavia

Lemmitania 2-1 Svecia
Oglethorpia 1-0 Belmorian Scandinavia.

Belmorian Scandinavia 0-3 Lemmitania
Oglethorpia 2-0 Svecia

Name W D L F A GD Pts
Oglethorpia 3 0 0 5 0 +5 9
Lemmitania 2 0 1 5 3 +2 6
Svecia 0 1 2 1 4 -3 1
Belmorian Scandinavia 0 1 2 0 4 -4 1[/code:1:91494bf001]

[code:1:91494bf001]Group C
1 Squornshelous
2 Spaam
3 Nikea
4 Anteaus Rising [/code:1:91494bf001]

Squornshelous (9) – Squornshelous have a tricky group here, encompassing 3 other classic teams. Their main match should be against United Spaam who will be their main challengers. They must also not underestimate Nikea and Anteaus Rising to ensure they do get in the top 2.

Spaam (18) – If Spaam ever have a chance to win, this is it. After an average qualification run they will be hoping to improve on that in the finals. Their key match will be against Nikea, who will be their main challenger for a top 2 spot.

Nikea (31) – This is their chance to prove to the world that they are not a team of underachievers. After never really performing to their best, this could be their breakthrough.
Anteaus Rising (36) – To be honest, I don’t think these guys stand a chance. They are likely to go home with 1 or no points after the cup. Despite this I do expect them to challenge the top team, expect some good games from this side.

Matches to watch:
MD1: Spaam Vs Squornshelous
MD3: Spaam Vs Nikea

Our Predictions:

[code:1:91494bf001]
Spaam 2-2 Squornshelous
Nikea 2-1 Anteaus Rising

Squornshelous 1-0 Nikea
Spaam 1-0 Anteaus Rising

Squornshelous 1-0 Anteaus Rising
Spaam 1-1 Nikea

Name W D L F A GD Pts
Squornshelous 2 1 0 4 2 +2 7
Spaam 1 2 0 4 3 +1 5
Nikea 1 1 1 3 3 0 4
Anteaus Rising 0 0 3 1 4 -3 0[/code:1:91494bf001]

[code:1:91494bf001]Group D
1 Audioslavia
2 Kerla
3 Liverpool England
4 Sliponia [/code:1:91494bf001]

Audioslavia (2) – Runners up in the last cup, Audioslavia will be hoping to follow that up with another top 2 finish. Their main rivals will be Liverpool England and Kerla and if they can get a good result against one of the 2 they should slide into the next round.

Kerla (14)–After qualifying in spectacular style for WC11, just behind our own nation, Kerla have never really stood up to their hype in the finals. However if they can get a few past the week Liverpudlian defence, they could have a chance of going into the round of 16. Don’t bet on it though.

Liverpool England (19) – Liverpool England, despite having a poor World Cup 12 they still can produce champions and could easily topple Audioslavia and Kerla. Their cruch match will be against Audioslavia where a win could see them have the confidence to carry the results into a successful cup.

Sliponia (44) – Slionia were lucky to qualify for this cup and will be lucky to get any points at all. The group could go down to by how many goals teams can beat them. Their only hope of a point would be against Audioslavia if Liverpool England and Kerla both beat the ‘slaves.
Our Predictions:

[code:1:91494bf001]
Audioslavia 2-1 Kerla
Liverpool England 3-1 Sliponia

Audioslavia 1-1 Liverpool England
Kerla 2-0 Sliponia

Audioslavia 3-0 Sliponia
Liverpool England 2-2 Kerla

Name W D L F A GD Pts
Audioslavia 2 1 0 6 2 +4 7
Liverpool England 1 2 0 6 4 +2 5
Kerla 1 1 1 5 4 +1 4
Sliponia 0 0 3 1 8 -7 0[/code:1:91494bf001]

[code:1:91494bf001]Group E
1 Commerce Heights
2 The Eagles Nest
3 The Belmore Family
4 Runaway Moose [/code:1:91494bf001]

Commerce Heights (3) – Luck was with Commerce Heights when they got all the way to the semi finals of World Cup 12 after being very disappointing in others. The team will no doubt be hoping for another top 4 performance in this cup. They will have some very tough matches against The Eagles Nest and ourselves to do such.

The Eagles Nest (41) – They took the world by storm in World Cup 12 by qualifying for their first cup. No doubt they’ll be hoping to continue their excellent footballing form to progress to the next round. We should get a clear indication of whether they can from their first match against Commerce Heights.

The Belmore Family (15) – After an awful performance in World Cup 12, failing to get out of the group stage, the Belmorians must do better in this cup. After producing an 8 match unbeaten run in qualification, we must get back to winning ways for this cup. It is ever rumoured we may get as far as the semis for our first time in 9 cups. We’ll be wishing our boys all the best!

Runaway Moose (71) – Runaway Moose, after their WC entrance application got lost on the way to the WCC building in Ariddia are ready to play some good football and get back into the scene. But with their players not having any finals experience for 8 years, RM has to be the outside chance in this group.

Matches to Watch:
MD1: The Belmore Family Vs Runaway Moose
MD2: The Belmore Family Vs Commerce Heights (Rt. Hon. Alan Belmore MP’s birthday ;))

Our Predications:
[code:1:91494bf001]
Commerce Heights 2-1 The Eagles Nest
The Belmore Family 2-0 Runaway Moose

Commerce Heights 1-1 The Belmore Family
Runaway Moose 2-1 The Eagles Nest

Commerce Heights 2-0 Runaway Moose
The Belmore Family 2-0 The Eagles Nest

Name W D L F A GD Pts
The Belmore Family 2 1 0 5 1 +4 7
Commerce Heights 2 1 0 5 2 +3 7
Runaway Moose 1 0 2 2 5 -3 3
The Eagles Nest 0 0 3 2 6 -4 0[/code:1:91494bf001]

[code:1:91494bf001]Group F
1 The Lowland Clans
2 Tanah Burung
3 Dennisov
4 Eauz[/code:1:91494bf001]

The Lowland Clans (6) - After a distinctly average Qualification The Lowland Clan will be praying for a bit of luck in World Cup 13. They are however without a few important players that guided them to WC12 success and will have a struggle to do well.

Tanah Burung (12) – The crocs have had a torrid time in their cup history, failing to qualify for WC 9 and other matters. But ever since they started cloning they have been more and more successful. Don’t rule them out of the running for this World Cup.

Dennisov (32) – After winning World Cup 4, Dennisov have been on a downwards slide. Despite a few good qualifications recently, they haven’t had any finals success. They might finds it tough in this group, we wouldn’t suggest putting your money on them.

Eauz (29) – Rather optimistically tipped to win the whole thing by Melemondi papers Eauz will have a lot of self confidence. Again, I think this group is not for their takings and to get into the second round will take a lot of work on their part, and at the moment, I don’t think their players have enough talent to go all the way.

Matches to watch:
MD1: The Lowland Clans Vs Tanah Burung
MD3: Eauz Vs The Lowland Clans

Our Predications:
[code:1:91494bf001]
The Lowland Clans 0-2 Tanah Burung
Eauz 2-3 Dennisov

The Lowland Clans 2-2 Dennisov
Tanah Burung 1-0 Eauz

The Lowland Clans 2-0 Eauz
Dennisov 2-4 Tanah Burung

Name W D L F A GD Pts
Tanah Burung 3 0 0 7 2 +5 9
The Lowland Clans 1 1 1 4 4 0 4
Dennisov 1 1 1 7 8 -1 4
Eauz 0 0 3 2 6 -4 0[/code:1:91494bf001]

[code:1:91494bf001]Group G
1 Giant Zucchini
2 Halfassedstates
3 Bedistan
4 One Red Dot [/code:1:91494bf001]

Giant Zucchini (5) – Giant Zucchini, as all teams in this group, will have to play stunning football to progress to the second round. Up against greats such as Halfassedstates and Bedistan Giant Zucchini will have to reproduce their qualifying form to get past this torrid group.

Halfassedstates (8) – Halfassedstates, after a good Quarter Finals finish in the last cup will again bee looking to do the same. Their main match will be against Giant Zucchini, who, if the beat will give their side the confidence against Bedistan and One Red Dot.

Bedistan (23) – After coming 4th in World Cup 9, things have got worse and worse for Bedistan, the epitimy in not qualifying for World Cup 10. But they pulled themselves together for World Cup 12 and managed a second round match up. They will have to get luck on their sides to do as well in this cup.

One Red Dot (28) – Though One Red Dot are the worst ranked team in this group, do not count them out. They were looking good before the cup began and are looking even better now. They could just shock the group if they can get a good result against Bedistan.

Matches to watch:
MD1: Giant Zucchini Vs Halfassedstates
MD1: Bedistan Vs One Red Dot

Our Predications:
[code:1:91494bf001]
Giant Zucchini 2-3 Halfassedstates
Bedistan 1-3 One Red Dot

Giant Zucchini 1-0 Bedistan
Halfassedstates 2-2 One Red Dot

Giant Zucchini 2-0 One Red Dot
Bedistan 2-1 Halfassedstates

Name W D L F A GD Pts
Giant Zucchini 2 0 1 5 3 +2 6
Halfassedstates 1 1 1 6 6 0 4
One Red Dot 1 1 1 5 5 0 4
Bedistan 1 0 2 3 5 -2 3[/code:1:91494bf001]

[code:1:91494bf001]Group H
1 Cockbill Street
2 Europa Brittania
3 Oddslavo
4 Ravenspire[/code:1:91494bf001]

Cockbill Street (22) – As joint hosts of World Cup 13 Cockbill Street has a great chance to qualify for the second round. Up against Ex-champions Europa Brittania in the first match, however, could be there undoing. Having never participated the finals their heads could drop after a likely loss.

Europa Brittania (4) – The 2 times World Champions should find this group a breeze. Their main competition should come from the hosts Cockbill Street, but they should be able to knock them aside. Their place in the second round is almost guaranteed from the top of this group.

Oddslavo (24) – Despite qualifying for lots of World Cups, this side is far overrated. Their good run in WC9 can be put down mainly to luck and I doubt you’ll see them moving to far in this one. Expect them to be crushed by most of their opponents.

Ravenspire (35) – Ravenspire, even though they missed out on World Cup 12 have a good chance to qualify from this group. If Cockbill Street lose their confidence after the first match and luck falls their way against Oddslavo the Ravens could get into the next round of the cup.

Matches to Watch:
MD1: Cockbill Street Vs Europa Brittania
MD3: Cockbill Street Vs Ravenspire

Our Predictions:

[code:1:91494bf001]
Cockbill Street 0-2 Europa Brittania
Ravenspire 3-0 Oddslavo

Cockbill Street 2-0 Oddslavo
Europa Brittania 3-1 Ravenspire

Cockbill Street 1-2 Ravenspire
Oddslavo 3-0 Europa Brittania

Name W D L F A GD Pts
Europa Brittania 3 0 0 8 1 +7 9
Ravenspire 2 0 1 6 4 +2 6
Cockbill Street 1 0 2 3 4 -1 3
Oddslavo 0 0 3 8 0 -8 0[/code:1:91494bf001]

Second Round:

Rejistania (1) Vs Lemmitania (16)
A tough match here between 2 former winners. It would be expected that the reigning champs and hosts would have the better team and the crowd behind them, giving them the place in the final. So our prediction is:
[code:1:91494bf001]Rejistania 2-0 Lemmitania[/code:1:91494bf001]

Oglethorpia (10) Vs Total n Utter Insanity (11)
This one will be a close match, leaving no room for mistakes. One would expect that this match will be a battle of nerves, and failing that, a battle of penalties. But We think Ogle will just clinch it leaving our prediction at:
[code:1:91494bf001]Oglethorpia 2-1 Total n Utter Insanity AET[/code:1:91494bf001]

Squornshelous (9) Vs Liverpool England (19)
Despite the difference of 10 in ranks, I think Liverpool England still has a chance. They have managed to produce a World Class team for every World Cup, who manage to defeat opponents no-one has expected them too. However, this might not be enough leaving our prediction at:
[code:1:91494bf001]Squornshelous 2-1 Liverpool England[/code:1:91494bf001]

Audioslavia (2) Vs Spaam (18)
This will be an embarrassment for United Spaam. The Daily Belmorian can not expect them to do better than Audioslavia. Spaam will just hope this doesn’t turn into a goal rout. Giving us the predication of:
[code:1:91494bf001]Audioslavia 3-0 Spaam[/code:1:91494bf001]

The Belmore Family Vs The Lowland Clans
We managed to defeat the Lowland Clans 2-0 in both of our qualification matches. The Lowland Clans are also not as good as they were 4 years ago which leads us to TLC going out in the second round. Our Prediction:
[code:1:91494bf001]The Belmore Family 2-0 The Lowland Clans[/code:1:91494bf001]

Commerce Heights (3) Vs Tanah Burung (12)
Commerce Heights are looking strong this cup. But not as strong as Tanah Burung. Their last world cup glory is expected to be lost in this round as TB look progressively strong. Our Prediction
[code:1:91494bf001]Commerce Heights 2-4 Tanah Burung[/code:1:91494bf001]

Giant Zucchini (5) Vs Ravenspire (35)
One would assume that the far superior skill of Giant Zucchini would quite easily knock out Ravenspire. Though that it not to say Ravenspire would be a walkover, so our prediction is-
[code:1:91494bf001]Giant Zucchini 3-2 Ravenspire[/code:1:91494bf001]

Halfassedstates (8) Vs Europa Brittania (4)
This one will be by no doubt the closet math of the second round. The final result will go down to who is the most confident. It would be expected that EB will in in that catergory after an easy group, whilst Halfassed will be shattered by their group of death. So we predict:
[code:1:91494bf001]Halfassedstates 1-2 Europa Brittania[/code:1:91494bf001]

Matches to watch:
SR: Oglethorpia Vs Total n Utter Insanity
SR: Halfassedstates Vs Europa Brittania

Quarter Finals
Rejistania (1) Vs Oglethorpia (10)
Though Rejistania are the reigning Champions and gave the home crowd, I think Ogle will be able to beat them. Oglethorpia’s original style of play might outwit the (on a whole) stupid Rejistanians. So our prediction is:
[code:1:91494bf001] Oglethorpia 2-0 Rejistania[/code:1:91494bf001]

Squornshelous (9) Vs Audioslavia (2)
Though Squornshelous are a good side, we feel Audioslavia are better. This should lead to a simple victory over Squornshelous. Though with Audioslavia’s lacking defence, it’s almost a certainty Squornshelous with score first. So our prediction stands at:
[code:1:91494bf001] Squornshelous 1-2 Audioslavia[/code:1:91494bf001]

The Belmore Family (15) Vs Tanah Burung (12)
I hate to say it, but the Belmorians should be a walkover for Tanah Burung. As said before, they’re looking very strong the cup, and they look like continuing this form. So we have to predict
[code:1:91494bf001]Tanah Burung 3-0 The Belmore Family[/code:1:91494bf001]

Giant Zucchini (5) Vs Europa Brittania (4)
This will be an interesting battle which will be mainly controlled by midfield. Giant Zucchini will probably get a good early start but I’d tip Europa Brittania for the victory if this match were to take place. So my prediction will be:
[code:1:91494bf001]Giant Zucchini 0-1 Europa Brittania[/code:1:91494bf001]

Mathes to watch:
QF: Squornshelous Vs Audioslavia
QF: The Belmore Family Vs Tanah Burung

Semi-Finals
Oglethorpia (10) Vs Audioslavia (2)
This would a great match up, which Ogle would look like winning. Though Audioslavia have been strong recently, I think the Oglethorpians would be on a high and could clench the victory. So we have to predict:
[code:1:91494bf001]Oglethorpia 3-2 Audioslavia[/code:1:91494bf001]

Tanah Burung (12) Vs Europa Brittania (4)
This is where we feel the crocs steam will run out. 2 times World Champions should be more than a match for Tanah Burung and I think the win will come by a rather large margin. So our prediction stands at:
[code:1:91494bf001]Tanah Burung 0-3 Europa Brittania[/code:1:91494bf001]

3rd Place Play-off
Audioslavia (2) Vs Tanah Burung (12)
After losing in the semis, it is a reasonable assumption that Audioslavia would give up. They have already got 2nd before this and coming 3rd or 4thy will mean nothing. For Tanah Burung on the other hand 3rd place would be an excellent achievement for an under achieving nation (football wise) to bring home some silverware. So my prediction will have to be:
[code:1:91494bf001]Tanah Burung 3-2 Audioslavia[/code:1:91494bf001]

The Grand Final
Oglethorpia (10) Vs Europa Brittania (4)
Oglethorpia have everything to win and they easily could if EB go in to lightly and unprepared. Would defiantly be the more determined to do well in what would be their 3rd final, but Europa Brittania would also want desperately to get their hatrick of cups and define themselves as the world power of NS football. But I think on the day spoils would go to Oglethorpia with the score:
[code:1:91494bf001] Oglethorpia 2-1 Europa Brittania[/code:1:91494bf001]

Gesamtkuntswerk

16-04-2004, 08:31

Sturms, Rejistania play defensive in a null-all game

The Gesamtkuntswerk Sturms came up against host and reigning champion Rejistania today, geared up to shut down the home favourite and drive home the message of a powerhouse Team Gesamtkuntswerk. Today's match has proven itself to be a true test of skills, and the Sturms have shown themselves to be the equal of Rejistania. Though no goals were scored, there were several close points in the game, in which only the effective defensive deployment of the Sturms prevented Rejistania from scoring. There were several attempts on Rejistania's goal as well, but they proved to be equally futile. The game was tiring to watch as well as to play, but but teams walked away unsatisfied, with results pending from the SN-38/TnUI game. The winner will be one point behind both the Sturms and Rejistania, making it a three-way push for the brackets.

The final game in the three-game series is against TnUI.

Liverpool England

16-04-2004, 09:45

Liverpool England 1-1 Audioslavia

PREDICTIONS
Group A
MD3: Rejistania 2-1 Snub Nose 38
MD3: Total n Utter Insanity 1-2 Gesamtkuntswerk
Final table:
Q1 Rejistania
Q2 Gesamtuntswerk
E3 Total n Utter Insanity
E4 Snub Nose 38

Group B
MD3: Belmorian Scandinavia 0-4 Lemmitania
MD3: Oglethorpia 2-1 Svecia
Final Table:
Q1 Oglethorpia
Q2 Lemmitania
E3 Svecia
E4 Belmorian Scandinavia

Group C
MD3: Squornshelous 1-1 Anteaus Rising
MD3: Spaam 0-1 Nikea
Final Table:
Q1 Nikea
Q2 Squornshelous
E3 Spaam
E4 Anteaus Rising

Group D
MD3: Audioslavia 4-1 Sliponia
MD3: Liverpool England 3-1 Kerla
Final Table:
Q1 Audioslavia
Q2 Liverpool England
E3 Kerla
E4 Sliponia

Group E
MD3: Commerce Heights 2-0 Runaway Moose
MD3: The Belmore Family 3-0 The Eagles Nest
Final Table:
Q1 The Belmore Family
Q2 Commerce Heights
E3 The Eagles Nest
E4 Runaway Moose

Group F
MD3: The Lowland Clans 1-1 Eauz
MD3: Dennisov 1-3 Tanah Burung
Final Table:
Q1 Tanah Burung
Q2 The Lowland Clans
E3 Eauz
E4 Dennisov

Group G
MD3: Giant Zucchini 1-2 One Red Dot
MD3: Bedistan 2-1 Halfassedstates
Final Table:
Q1 One Red Dot
Q2 Giant Zucchini
E3 Bedistan
E4 Halfassedstates

Group G
MD3: Cockbill Street 2-1 Ravenspire
MD3: Oddslavo 1-3 Europa Brittania
Final Table:
Q1 Europa Brittania
Q2 Cockbill Street
E3 Ravenspire
E4 Oddslavo

Liverpool England

16-04-2004, 10:07

Predictions Knockout Stage
Second Round:

Rejistania Vs Lemmitania

Rejistania 2-1 Lemmitania

Oglethorpia Vs Gesamtkuntswerk

Oglethorpia 3-1 Gesamtkuntswerk

Nikea Vs Liverpool England

Nikea 0-1 Liverpool England

Audioslavia Vs Squornshelous

Audioslavia 3-2 Squornshelous

The Belmore Family Vs The Lowland Clans

The Belmore Family 2-1 The Lowland Clans

Commerce Heights Vs Tanah Burung

Commerce Heights 2-2 Tanah Burung
Commerce Heights 3-2 Tanah Burung AET

One Red Dot Vs Cockbill Street

One Red Dot 1-1 Cockbill Street
One Red Dot 2-2 Cockbill Street AET
One Red Dot 4-5 Cockbill Street PEN

Giant Zucchini Vs Europa Brittania

Giant Zucchini 2-1 Europa Brittania

Quarter Finals
Rejistania Vs Oglethorpia

Rejistania 1-1 Oglethorpia
Rejistania 3-2 Oglethorpia AET

Liverpool England Vs Audioslavia

Liverpool England 2-1 Audioslavia

The Belmore Family Vs Commerce Heights

The Belmore Family 3-1 Commerce Heights

Cockbill Street Vs Giant Zucchini

Cockbill Street 0-3 Giant Zucchini

Semi Finals
Rejistania Vs Liverpool England

Rejistania 0-0 Liverpool England
Rejistania 1-0 Liverpool England AET

The Belmore Family Vs Giant Zucchini

The Belmore Family 1-2 Giant Zucchini

3rd Place Play-off
Liverpool England Vs The Belmore Family

Liverpool England 1-1 The Belmore Family
Liverpool England 3-2 The Belmore Family AET

The Grand Final
Rejistania Vs Giant Zucchini

Both teams have won the World Cup before. They'd be going out to try to win it again. Rejistania, being hosts, gets my vote.

Rejistania 2-1 Giant Zucchini

Halfassedstates

16-04-2004, 11:58

Hurricanes edge out Wolves.

The Halfassed Hurricanes ground out a narrow 1-0 win over the One Red Dot Wolves in Jotneheim Park earlier to-day.

Central defender Julie Ducks was the heroine of the game. Her header form a Peter Perfect corner in the 67th minute finally broke the deadlock in a tight match, and was enough to seal the victory for Halfassed.

The only sour note from a Hurricane point of view was the sight of striker Carl Smith being stretchered off after an accidental collision with a Wolves defender. It has been confirmed that the Cenataurs striker has damaged ligaments in his ankle and will not participate in the rest of the WC.

The win puts Halfassed in pole position for a place in the second round. Indeed, if Bedistan manage to take anything from their game against Giant Zucchini, then the Hurricanes are assured of progressing and the Wolves would unfortunatly be eliminated. If the Zucchini's win against Bedistan, then every team in the group could make it or miss out depending on the final two games!

The Eagles Nest

16-04-2004, 14:10

Eagle's Nests Wins 2-0 against Runaway Moose

Lack of Respect in Recent Predictions Motivate Birds

Striker Josh Adams took personal offense of the predictions in recent publications, most notably one from a magazine from The Belmore Family which predicted that they would lose all three qualifying games, including one that they had already won.

"I mean, good lord, if a writer can't even take the basic time to read the newspaper and see what has already happened, then, well, he's a moron and I can't wait to play his team and show him how well we can play. Oh, and we are 2 and 0 now.....kind of hard to be 0 and 3"

This uncharacteristic statement from Adams shows the frustration that the Nest has been getting recently as many predicitions have the Nest getting third, including one of the homeland papers, but after 2 wins, it almot seems that the Nest will indeed qualify.

Adams scored 2 goals in the first half to quickly go up 2-0 and then Coach Aefnen subsituted many key players out to rest them for the showdown with The Belmore Family next matchday.

Group E Analysis

With the Nest's win, and the CH-TBF game result unknown at press time, we have the following table:

[code:1:02cda23357]
Group E Standings

Team G W D L GF GA GD P
The Eagles Nest 2 2 0 0 4 1 +3 6
The Belmore Family 1 1 0 0 2 0 +2 3
Commerce Heights 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
Runaway Moose 2 0 0 2 0 4 -4 0
[/code:1:02cda23357]

We have a few scenarios here:

TBF Wins against CH:
Both TBF and TEN qualify, and the final match determines position.

CH wins against TBF:
If TBF wins, and CH wins during matchday 3, then we have a three way tie for first, and we go on goal differential, and the Nest COULD be eliminated on that, but with CH having a -1 after one game, it seems that the Nest is in a good position.

TBF and CH tie:
The Eagle's Nest qualifies and the TBF-TEN game is for position.

So it is in our best interest that Commerce Heights not win this game. We wait to see what the TBF-CH game ends out. Rumors of many rowdy fans on both sides, and that CBS security forces have been workign hard to keep the two sides apart. Riots seem possible as this is not a friendly rivalry.

Rejistania

16-04-2004, 14:57

OOC: Kerla, you wanted to know how to RP a 0-0. like this:

We are listening to Radio RejisCAST, the only english-speaking channel in entire Rejistania

Idine Sala: Hejida, I am Idine Sala and today we are listening to: 'Live from the cup'. This time, Sirake Tekim and Elin Ri are for us in Sen-La-Sa~o (OOC: pronounced as Zen-Lar-Zou, where the ou is pronounced as in soul), or as you would perhaps say if you aren't native rejistanian: Senlasa o. Hejida Sirake, hejida Elin!

Sirake Tekim: Hejida Idine!

Elin Ri: Hejida Idine!

Idine Sala: Say, how is the atmosphere in SLS?

ST: Great. There is a large amount of Orange-Blue fans of course, the fans of the oppoentn are for some reason a tiny minority.

ER: Reason might be the same like the one why we get a lower payment for our match-reports.

IS: You don't want to talk about money here!

ER: 'f course not, it's just: when the cup was in Lemmitania and Kaze, we could see a different country on costs of Radio RejisCAST...

ST: You have less way from home to work

ER: yeah, that's right.

ST: But now for the teams, starting with... Ke-sam-ti-ku-nit-se-we-rik, I guess you would not mind if I say Kesamti, wouldn't you?

IS: didn't you learn to pronounce the name?

ST: Well, I tried, but can you pronounce it?

IS: Gesamtkunstwerk.

ST: How did you do that?

IS: well, I have an unfair advatage, I learned german as forth language in school.

ST: I never learned it. Well for the roster: ... (short pause) It seems as if we have a problem: The page can't be loaded.

ER: Lemme see.

ST: Wihle eEin Ri tried to load the page, I tell you the line-up of the Orange-Blues: Nana Daki is again goalie, defenders: Seda Kansu, Lyku I Kansu, Lata~n Gu and Inkil Xika~o (we hear expletives in the background, strong expletives) In the midfield: Hana Yla, Sime Hilat, Hana Kansu and Inik Linkosa. And the forwards are: Milan 'Tihrana' Tia~e and Jen Y. elin, how about the Kesamti roster?

ER: The han-hi-len-ly server doesn't load it.

IS: Watch it!

ER: that's no expletive, you should hear me curse to know what expletives are!

IS: We heard it already since your microphone did work while Sirake read the roster.

ER: you control it.

IS: right, well no more expletives, please.

ER: When this majrue-estelan-sisiru-istoika system will run.

ST: Let's simply use the numbers of the players instead of their names.

ER: Yeah, would be better.

ST: Now it's time for the national anthems, first Kesamti's national anthem, which is by the way composed by Wagner.

(we hear the anthem of Gesamtkuntswerk)

ST: And Now: The national anthem of Rejistania!

(we hear the national anthem of Rejistania, at one point, it was bleeped out, since the fans sung the 'inofficial version' which contains expletives)

ST: Yeah, nothing like a national anthem which can't be played on the radio!

(5th minute)
ER: Oh my god, that is number 9, he shoots,... Yeah, Nana Daki saved it!

(20th minute)
ST: One of the few attacks of the Orange-Blues, Linkosa'he passes to Tia~e, he passes back to Linkosa, oh, great how he outsmarted number 3, ohh, the ball missed the goal widely.

ER: Tough luck

(45th minute)
ST: The referee blows his whistle, the first half ends. It was a match of two good defenses with a certain lack of good offensive chances.

ER: It was System Karela-ish soccer, nothing more and nothing less.

ST: Yeah, no one wanted tom risk to fall behind.

(67th minute)
ST: Oh my goodness, Tia~e with the ball, wow, won the running duel against nr 6, is in a good position, shoots, misses! Debts!

(91st minute)
ER: The referee blows the final whistla (short pause) now. The result is still 0-0.

ST: one goal and the Orange-Blues would have qualified.

ER: Or Kesamti.

ST: Yeah if it was a goal for them. the Orange-Blue defense is in a great form, that is the positive thing to say. The negative thing is, that the great forwards are lacking, SyLy, Xese...

ER: You forgot another positive aspect: The broadcast worked.

ST: Yeah, let's say something we never did before: back to the studio!

The Lowland Clans

16-04-2004, 15:23

ASNN - We're Baaaaaack

Harewood Ground, Cockbill Street - Everyone thought they were down. They thought they were defeated. But the one thing that they needed, no one wanted to happen. It took the most monumentous figure in Clan history to resign to do it, but it was done. Now, one could say, they're baaaaaaack...

Today, they faced Dennisov, former champions of the world, but that was long ago, and they have fallen much since then. But they still remain a threat to teams who simply brush them aside, and the Stars did not do that today in a one to nothing victory.

The stadium roared as supporters from the Clans and Dennisov waived flags and banners, painted their faces and honked their horns as the squads walked out onto the field. The pregame handshakes were marred by in-stand fighting, but the game got underway peacefully, and the game began.

The defensive improvements were quickly aspparent, as the first attack by the Dennisovian forwards was easily repled by stalwart Lester Preston and newcomer Moe West. The back and forth play that has now characterized Clan footbal under the McKay regime soon settled into place, as the fast paced transition game soon began to favor the Clanners superior physical conditioning allowed them to run continuously for the first half.

The second half though, was a different story. The Clan soon was able to dominate the offense with their speed and finesse, as opposed to the physical domineering play that was the usualy style of Clan football. But the many chances were soon outclassed by Pavel Julios, who charged from half after stealing it from a Dennisovian halfback who was attempting a run up the middle. He curved around the left wing. and crossed it to the middle. Chee Blackwing jumped, and headed it towards the goal.

The Dennisovian keeper blocked it, but the rebound came to a waiting Mark Jeremy, who tapped it in. The crowd went wild, and the Stars were back on top. The results from the other teams in the group have yet to come in, but people are beginning to say to their friends, we're baaaaaaack...

TLC Stars 1 - 0 Dennisov
Jeremy (59)

Snub Nose 38

16-04-2004, 19:18

*we are in a private hospital room in saint swithens. seated by the bed is justin case, and sitting up in the bed someone we've all come to know as "margaret"*

- They lost the first match?
- One to zip.
- What about the phasing out?
- Yeah, they were phasing out pretty badly.
- So I collapsed...
- Before you finished the sacrificial supplication of the random number gods.
- Waste of a perfectly good chicken.
- Well, not so much. The Minister of Athletics, Olympics and Alcoholic Beverages Bar-B-Qed it.
- Gack!
- Pretty much what everyone else thought, too.
- How long was I in the coma?
- About a week.
- But that would mean...
- That today is Matchday 2 - yes.
- Well, I've gotta get outa here and...
- 'Sokay, relax. The match is over.
- The Total n Utter Insanity match is over?
- Yup.
- What was it like?
- ...Total n Utter Insanity y'all saw that comin', didn't cha?
- ...What was the outcome, brain child.
- Oh...yeah...it was a one-one draw. The Insanicans scored on a well taken set piece about 31 yards out in the 18th minute. The Hooligans equalized on a long looping shot over the Insanican keeper in the 38th minute. And then there was a very long, very intense, defensive battle that lasted through the 3 minutes of added time at the half, the second half, and the five minutes of added time after the second half. Malicious was red carded in the 67th minute, along with an Insanican defender.
- What for?
- Well...they had a bit of a fist fight. Tempers were pretty hot the last part of the match.
- So...that's one loss, and one draw. How about the Rejistanian - Gesamtkunstwerk match?
- That one was a null-null draw.
- Then Group A stands 4, 4, 1, 1?
- Next match decides the whole shootin' works. Rejistania and Gesamtkunstwerk have definitely got the edge - a draw puts them through. But both the Insanicans and the Hooligans still have a shot.

World Cup XIII, Group A Update

[code:1:d3b7469997]
Group A P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Rejistania 2 1 1 0 1 0 1 4
Gesamtkunstwerk 2 1 1 0 1 0 1 4
Total n Utter Insanity 2 0 1 1 1 2 -1 1
Snub Nose 38 2 0 1 1 1 2 -1 0[/code:1:d3b7469997]

Courtesy of The Minister of Statistics, Other Totally Useless Information, and Band Aids

Eauz

16-04-2004, 19:30

Le LIBRE

To Round of 16 Eauz goes

In the second match for Les Bleus, they were up against LEAF rival Tanah Burung who has not played well in this world cup. Tanah Burung has been not playing well, due to their start player having a career ending injury. This match as expected to be a well played match, as these were to strong teams.

The first half started off with loud screaming fans from all over the play, especially from Eauz and Tanah Burung. The fans did not result to any violence, but one could feel the excitement in the air. Les Bleus took control of the ball early in the match, providing some strong attacks, which were stopped by Tanah's goalkeeper. Les Bleus players knew they could not give up on attacks, or else they would get in trouble early in the match. Finally, coming during the 25th minute of play, a long distance kick went into the top right corner of the goal, for Les Bleus, putting them up 1 - 0 early. This gave the team a moral booster. Two minutes after play, Tanah Burung came back, and shot the ball in the net, but the play was called off-side, a close one for Les Bleus. The first half ended in a 1 - 0 lead for Les Bleus

In the second half, Les Bleus looked for that security goal, to help them finish the match off. Tanah though had different plans, as they took control of the first 20 minutes of play, holding the ball away from Les Bleus. Youseuv though, who has been great in goal, prevented any goals from going in. Coming close to the end of the match, Les Bleus put on a final attack, during the 81st minute of play, putting Les Bleus up by 2 goals. From then on, Les Bleus would play in defence, and go on to win 2 - 0.

For Les Bleus, it was a moral booster to have won the match, meaning they will go on to qualify for the next round of play in the round of 16. Though, this does not mean Les Bleus should not play this next match with heart, because if they beat TLC in the final match, they will take first place in group F, and play against the second place team of another group. Both TLC and Eauz have been playing well, and could mean that this match would end in a draw. A win or a tie tomorrow would mean Les Bleus would take 1st place overall, due to goal differences. Eauz though, will be up against a strong Lowland's team, which like Eauz has posted some strong numbers, and played very well. Expect a low scoring match, even resulting in a 1 - 1 match or a 1 - 0 match. As for Tanah Burung and Dennisov, they will be playing for bragging rights of who comes 3rd and 4th place in group F. This will only have an impact on their world rank, not the world cup.

More to come later...

[code:1:60d1dfb450]
Group F
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Eauz 6 2 0 0 3: 0 +3
2. The Lowland Clans 6 2 0 0 2: 0 +2
3. Dennisov 0 0 0 2 0: 2 -2 ELIM
4. Tanah Burung 0 0 0 2 0: 3 -3 ELIM

[/code:1:60d1dfb450]

Audioslavia

16-04-2004, 21:34

Audioslavia Stumble
1-1 draw keeps group open

Audioslavia and Liverpool England played out a 1-1 draw in Rejistania to keep them both joined on four points on the top of the group. Liverpool England started the brighter, creating a couple of chances for the strikers, before Audioslavia kicked out of second gear and started on the offensive. On the half-hour, Jonny Willow squandered the second of his two chances, but saw the ball fall to Callum Jensen to strike the 'slaves into a one-goal lead. Audioslavia dominated the game up to and beyond the break and came heart-breakingly close to snatching goals two and three, with O`Malley putting a sitter over the bar, and Jensen almost grabbing his second but being bundled down in the area by the LE number three. Replays showed it was an absoloute foul, but the referee disagreed and gave Jensen a yellow card for diving.

LE didnt get themselves back into the game until the seventieth minute, and with their first attack since the opening periods, Liverpool England drew level. The number seven darted down the wing, but his cross seemed harmless enough until Aaron O`Hara stuck out a leg and chipped the ball over his own keeper and into the net. The LE players celebrated their wonderful goal, as the Audioslavians all took it in turns giving Aaron a hearty slap.

Final Score
Audioslavia 1 (Jensen, 32)
Liverpool England 1 (O`Hara OG, 72)

[code:1:622661e17b]
Group D
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Audioslavia 4 1 1 0 3: 1 2
2. Liverpool England 4 1 1 0 3: 1 2
3. Kerla 0 0 0 1 0: 2 -2
4. Sliponia 0 0 0 1 0: 2 -2
[/code:1:622661e17b]

With Sliponia and Kerla playing tomorrow, neither LE nor the 'slaves are through, although a draw between Sliponia and Kerla would mean a point each next week would see the top two through.

Audioslavian Comedy Show Axed
The hit sit-com, 'but who's dating Mary?' has been axed today by Channel One bosses. Instead of the usual program, they decided to show an LE show, predicting that Liverpool England would beat Audioslavia in a later round of the world cup. The bosses at Channel One decided that, with all the sit-coms in the world, it would be impossible to find something quite as funny as LE saying they'll beat Audioslavia ;)

i've been Jeremy Jaffacake, g'nite bitches

Bedistan

16-04-2004, 22:12

The Bedistan Sports Digest

Spectacular Performance Keeps Hope Strong
Halfassed in second round, Lions most likely there too

COCKBILL STREET -- It was quite a match at the Northset County Cricket Ground today, as Bedistan faced Giant Zucchini in the World Cup for the first time.

As expected, the Zucchinis came out on the attack, and the Lions' Saravia and Kucharski did an excellent job of stopping their attacks before they could reach the goalkeeper. In the 32nd minute, though, one of those attacks finally made its way through and caught keeper Tabitha Fukushima totally off guard, giving Giant Zucchini the first goal of the match.

At the halftime break, manager Johnny Lewis praised the Lions' first half performance and gave them a general pep talk for the second half. He also told the midfield to take a slightly more defensive stance, though he stayed with the 4-4-2 formation.

The second half turned out to be just what the doctor ordered for Bedistan. The Zucchinis were also playing defensively, content to let the Lions hold the ball. The ball eventually made its way up to Gil Vu in the 70th minute, and a monster of a right-footed strike just managed to evade Phoot and sail into the goal, tying the score. The Lions pulled back further on defense and successfully prevented Giant Zucchini from scoring again, leaving with the 1-1 draw at the final whistle.

Group G now looks like this:
[code:1:f93c8b0d42]Team G W D L GF GA GD P
Halfassedstates 2 2 0 0 2 0 +2 6
Bedistan 2 1 1 0 2 1 +1 4
Giant Zucchini 2 0 1 1 1 2 -1 1
One Red Dot 2 0 0 2 0 2 -2 0[/code:1:f93c8b0d42]

Halfassedstates have qualified, as neither Giant Zucchini nor One Red Dot can catch them.
One Red Dot have been eliminated, as they cannot catch Halfassedstates or Bedistan.
Bedistan need a draw to ensure qualification.
Giant Zucchini are on the outside looking in. They will need to defeat One Red Dot, and hope Halfassedstates defeat Bedistan by a larger margin.

MD3 predictions:
Halfassedstates 1 - 1 Bedistan
Giant Zucchini 2 - 0 One Red Dot

Manager Lewis has stated that he plans to play a very defensive formation against Halfassedstates, most likely a 5-4-1. "If Halfassed don't score, we're through," he said, "so we should do whatever we can to prevent them from doing so."

Lemmitania

16-04-2004, 22:59

The Lemmington Post

All the print that’s new and fit.

The Sports Pages

Lally Sighted, Maleficus in Hot Pursuit
Rejistania – In what observers are calling one of the most bizarre stories of the first match of the 13th World Cup of football, 48-year-old Lemmitanian goalkeeper Joe Lally continues to flee from giant evil spider Octavarion Maleficus across the beaches of host nation Rejistania. Though the pristine white sands exceed 45 degrees and wickedly burn his calloused feet, Lally continues to tear-ass it to-and-fro while Maleficus attempts to ensnare him in a pair of meter-long pincers. Said pincers being connected, according to reports, to his mouth. With which, it is theorized, Maleficus will chomp Lally should he catch up with him.

Neither Lally nor Maleficus has stopped to rest, each athlete showing his exemplary skills as he has run continuously for eleven days and nights. The Luimmess Book of World Records is said to be watching their progress closely; should they hit seventeen days, they’ll be on the cusp of greatness. The longest known Giant Evil Spider pursuit of a Lemmitanian is eighteen days and nights (Crepescule the Flesheater vs. Lum Spooblighter, 1966), and the longest-lasting Giant Evil Spider pursuit of a human on record (without rest breaks) is twenty-one days (identities unknown; pursuit ended when both subjects fell into the Chasm of Inordinate Doom, 1921).

Why Maleficus is bothering to chase lally all over the damn place is still up for debate. Some experts contend that Lally’s flesh is so light and delicate, indeed so juicily scrumptuous as to be simply irresistable. However, other experts point out that Lally survived thirteen horrid, horrid, horrifying, horrible years surviving by his wits in the swamps of Dire Arachnia, and that if he tasted so damn good, surely one of the Giant Evil Spiders of that nation would have chomped him during that time. Experts being experts, they can’t agree.

It is speculated that the prusuit will continue until Lally spontaneously combusts, or Maleficus catches him. Or both.

Giant Evil Spiders Denies Maleficient Intentions
Rejistania – Giant Evil arachnid striker Octavarion Maleficus, known to have been in hot pursuit of Lemmitanian goalkeeper Joe Lally for the better part of two weeks, was interviewed by reporter Lem Grey during a rest stop at a cabana near the beach. Said Maleficus, “I’m not going to hurt edible Joe Lally. I will at most taste him a little. I’m really just trying to catch him to give him a half-lemming he dropped while he was trapped in the swamps. We Dire Arachnids are very considerate that way.”

Lally could not be reached for comment, as he was busy tear-assing it across the beautiful white beach, screaming “Aaaaaaiiiiiigh! Spider spider spider spider spider!” to the consternation of other beachgoers.

Newspaper Stories Contradict One Another
Lemmington – Yo, dude, what’s up? Those two stories seem to, you know, contradict each other. One says Joe and the spider haven’t stopped running for forty-five days, and the other one says maleficus is taking a lunch break! Like, get your stories straight before you print ‘em, man!

Lemmitania

16-04-2004, 22:59

Squornshelous

17-04-2004, 02:06

Squornshelous is One Step Closer
Squornshelous solidified its chances for advancement with a 3-2 victory over Nikea. The scoring began on a worrying note for the Pschychoes, with Nikea claiming the first marker at 24 minutes on a hard shot from just outside the box. Squornshelous focused quickly though, and tied teh game in the 32nd. Richards brought the ball down the side, and, as he's done so many times, lofted it in to the middle, where Koren Jackson was able to head it in past the diving keeper. Squornshelous then struck again to take its first lead of the game. Jackson dribbled down the middle of the field, throwing off a defender with an excellent creuf move (when you pretend to shoot but really cut to the side) and sped to the left through the ensuing gap. He spotted Brooks running down the sideline, and passed to him. Brooks in turn spotted Tobias Jones standing unmarked in the backdoor position, and lobbed him the ball. It was then all too easy for Jones to tap it into the net for a 41st minute score. After halftime, Nikea came out with renewed energy, pressing hard and controlling the ball well. They picked away ot the Squornshelan defense until a crack appeared. Zak Truman slipped and fell trying to change direction in mid-stride, allowing (player) to scoot into scoring range. Allen never had a chance, the ball flew past him into the net to tie the game at two in the 50th minute. The score remained tied, despite several good scoring chances for both sides, until the 78th minute of the game. When Jamal Richards faked out a defender at midfield and suddenly found nothing but empty space between him and the net. He went to full afterburner, never looking back, and slammed the ball past a stading Nikean keeper from 15 yards out. With this decisive goal in hand, Squornshelous put the clamps on the Nikean attack, completely shutting it down for the rest of the game.

Final Score:
Squornshleous 3-2 Nikea

Scoring Summary:
N: (player) 24th
S: Jackson 32nd
S: Jones 41st
N: (player) 50th
S: Richards 78th

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Jackson: 12
Richards: 6
Brooks: 3
Rivera: 3
Jones: 3
Chavez: 2
Stikolsmur: 1

Depending on the result of the Anteus Rising-Spaam match, we could be either in 2nd (if Spaam won or if they tied) or 3rd place (if AR won). Either way, we will be in control of our own destiny, with our last match of the group stage coming against Antaeus Rising. The Pschychoes played them twice in qualifying, and neither team was able to generate any offense, with both meetings resulting in 0-0 ties. Hopefully, with momentum from the defeat of Nikea, we will be able to put tehm down and advance.

Predictions for remaining matches:
Matchday 2
Spaam 2-1 Antaeus Rising

Matchday 3
Spaam 1-0 Nikea
Squornshelous 1-0 Antaeus Rising

Predicted Final Results:
Spaam
Squornshelous
Nikea
Antaeus Rising

Svecia

17-04-2004, 02:26

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

DOUBLE JEOPARDY
2-0 Loss to Lemmitania puts Svecia on verge of elimination
Lördag 17 April, 2004

MATIX KALI, Rejistania - A tough 2-0 loss to the fabled Lemmings was enough to dampen even the brightest of spirits. Even the happy-go-lucky Svecikans were quiet leaving the stadium.

What makes the loss even unhappier was that Svecia could have won it.

Trailing only 1-0 at the half after the Lemmings scored off a wonderfully placed free kick from 32 yards out, Svecia stormed out in the second half showing Lemmitania how the lightning quick offense could turn a game around.

But it was the Lemmings defense and goalkeeping that saved them. Fransisco Carati, Hanan Belagt, and Mikael Solskjaer made dozens of runs down the sideline, feeding each other with perfectly placed passes, and then bombarding the goal with shots. Unfortunately none could finish their chances.

Rather, it wasn't the fault of the strikers but of the goalkeeper, who turned away everything in sight. Although the Lemmings had few chances to score the second half, Svecia's relentless attack left them tired and they failed to get back in numbers late in the match and the fresh Lemmitanian forwards were able to use their speed to put away a two-on-two break in the 84th minute which sealed the game.

Svecia now needs to make the best of their final group game against Oglethorpia in order to have a chance of making the second round.

Lightning coach Tim Sveers has hinted his side might use a new offense against Oglethorpia in hopes of catching the team off guard and creating more chances. But compared with the offensive output against Lemmintania, it might be hard to create more than their last game.

Spaam

17-04-2004, 05:04

United Spaam Sports Weekly

Almighty Sephiroth Is Dead

Spaam In GONAMPAFT*

Critics are rejoicing as Spaam have been showing the sort of form that has
not been seen for a quarter of a century, culminating in their latest match
against Antaeus Rising. The team, ranked 32nd in the world, couldn't hold
the impressive attack of the Spaamanians, who got twice as many shots
on goal as Antaeus. Young star Eman Olisade, who originally hailed from
Alhana Catherine, got the opening goal of the game in the 32nd minute,
with a beautiful header off a very well placed corner shot from Elen Súrion.
Enigmatic captain Nala Eromleb got the second goal, shooting from 20
metres out in the 78th minute, to put the game out of Antaeus' reach, the
game ending in a resounding 2-0 Spaamanian victory.

The win guarantees Spaam' progression to the Round of 16, which is the
furthest Spaam has been for a quarter of a century, since they made the
finals of the World Cup. Spaam also has a very good chance of finishing
at the top of their group, unless they lose against Nikea and Squornshelous
beat Antaeus, and both by more than one goal. Second place is up for
grabs, but Squornshelous is the most likely candidate, as they only have to
draw to proceed. Controversial goalkeeper Alátari Súrion is still in fine
form, having not let a goal through in about 15 hours worth of football,
which is now the best performance in Spaamanian history. However, a lot
of luck will be needed if she wants to break the world record of 23 hours
56 minutes.

[code:1:be83603862]Group C P W D L F A GD Pts
Spaam 2 2 0 0 3 0 +3 6
Squornshelous 2 1 0 1 3 3 0 3
Nikea 2 0 1 1 2 3 -1 1
Antaeus Rising 2 0 1 1 0 2 -2 1
[/code:1:be83603862]

*Group Of Not As Much Pain As First Throught

Table Of Possibilities

[code:1:be83603862]SPA/NIK W/D 0-1 L
SQU/ANR
W SPA/SQU SPA/SQU* SPA/SQU**

D SPA/SQU SPA/SQU SPA/NIK

L SPA/ANR SPA/ANR SPA/ANR

*Order reversed IF:
Squornshelous WIN > 1

**Order reversed IF:
Squornshelous WIN > 2
Squornshelous WIN = 2 AND Spaam LOSS > 1
Squornshelous WIN = 2 AND Spaam LOSS = 1 AND Squornshelous > Spaam
Squornshelous WIN = 1 AND Spaam LOSS > 2
Squornshelous WIN = 1 AND Spaam LOSS = 2 AND Squornshelous > Spaam
[/code:1:be83603862]

Audioslavia Is A Poopy Head

The Spaamanian media has layeth the smack down by saying the
Audioslavian media is a bunch of poopy heads. The Spaamanian media
are quoted as saying, "we will open a can of whoop arse on those big
nosed meanies." The Audioslavian media is yet to respond.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/misc2.jpg

Oglethorpia

17-04-2004, 06:48

Bureaucratic Broadcasting Network Sports
World Cup coverage on BBNS!

World Cup Recap Show

RAY MCHALE: Hey all you football fans -- the Reverend Mike White is out on religious dities, so i'm sittin' in for the Reverend White. With me are Eduardo Escobar and Bruce Corwin.

EDUARDO ESCOBAR: Yo.

BRUCE CORWIN: Hey, uh, football freaks.

MCHALE: Wonderteam alum, we're here broadcasting on the very same night as Oglethorpia's 1-nil victory over Belmorian Scandanavia -- who, as i've heard, match, or exceed the Belmore Family in intelligence levels. Now that's a fun fact, eh?

BRUCE: It is, Ray. It really is.

MCHALE: Eduardo, why don't you summarize the match for us?

EDUARDO: No.

MCHALE: C'mon.

EDUARDO: Alright, alright. Well, it was mostly a boring game. Where no scored. That is, till Torrence Black scored the game winner in the opening minutes of the second half.

[Proper footage of Torrence Black's goal is played.]

MCHALE: Amazing, that man. He's still got it, considering his first Cup was way back in the WC9 days.

BRUCE: They're definitely getting old -- but Torrence is just like I remember him. Even if most of 'em retire, they'll still be one of the best remembered Oglethorpian squads.

MCHALE: Cheers to that. So, Eduardo -- here's what we're gunna do.

EDUARDO: Tell me what we're gunna do, Ray.

MCHALE: I intend to.

EDUARDO: Enlighten us.

MCHALE: I intend to.

EDUARDO: Get on with it, man.

MCHALE: As soon as you shut up.

EDUARDO: ...

MCHALE: Alright, that's better. It's time to go through every single possibility of the group B outcomes.

BRUCE: Well, the Wonderteam will no doubt be sitting in a great position entering matchday three with two victories -- and two cleansheets thanks to Yamamoto-san.

EDUARDO: So, is there any way that the Wonderteam could not qualify?

MCHALE: A fine question, Eduardo. And i'm glad you asked it.

EDUARDO: Thanks, Ray!

MCHALE: Actually, it was on the cue card.

EDUARDO: We have...cue cards?

MCHALE: ...uh, with that revelation -- we here at the Bureaucratic Broadcasting Network Sports channel aren't too fond (or skilled) at predicting all the possibilities of group B qualification.

BRUCE: So you're keepin' it simple?

MCHALE: Precisely, Bruce. Eduardo, give us an overview of how Oglethorpia could not qualify.

EDUARDO: Oglethorpia ceases to exist and is penalized 80 points.

MCHALE: Fantastic. Another.

EDUARDO: The Wonderteam spontaneously combusts simultaneously.

MCHALE: One more, for the fans at home.

EDUARDO: The whole of the Bureaucratic States is swallowed up into the pits of hell in one ghastly moment -- like a magic trick. Now you see it, now you don't.

MCHALE: What if the Wonderteam were to spontaneously combust while the Bureaucratic States were being sucked into the domain of satan?

EDUARDO: Well, that completely changes things! It all depends on whether or not the Svecian superheroes come to save the day...

BRUCE: I don't follow. Could any of these things prevent Svecia or Lemmitania from qualifying?

EDUARDO: Of course not, you crazy.

MCHALE: Where'd you get that idea? It's out of the question. It can really only have a dire effect on Oglethorpia -- y'know, not having a team to play and all.

BRUCE: And what'll send the Wonderteam into the second round?

EDUARDO: Not a loss.

MCHALE: Elaborate.

EDUARDO: A win, or a draw -- in which Oglethorpia scores more goals than his opponent, or matches him in number of goals -- respectively, of course.

BRUCE: Fantastic. Thank you Eduardo, for patronizing our audience with the basics of football.

EDUARDO: It's easy to get confused.

MCHALE: So now we've got Frank Face via video phone. Frank, can you hear us?

FRANK FACE: No, Ray -- i'm not srre I can hear you too well.

MCHALE: Oh. Well folks, I guess we're not gunna be able to interview Neverton F.C. manager and stand in "head-dude" Frank Face.

FACE: Actually I can hear you...I wa s just messin', man. But it escaped you, sadly.

MCHALE: Frank, you've confused all number of fans back home. Oglethorpia is 2-0-0 with a +3 GD in the first round, and yet Neverton continues to make poor decisions -- like letting all it's talented players go.

FACE: That leaves us rich, and we only want the best for our players. But Ray, this isn't about Neverton -- this is about the Wonderteam. And they're doing great. So you have no reason to criticize me for Neverton player movements.

MCHALE: Bu-

FACE: No. I have things to do. Good day, sir.

[Frank Face's face disappears and instantly static takes its place, and then the screen changes back to random football footage.]

MCHALE: I think that went well.

BRUCE: Without a hitch.

EDUARDO: How do you do it?

MCHALE: Well-

EDUARDO: It was for effect.

MCHALE: So have we got anything left?

BRUCE: Not really.

EDUARDO: Nope.

MCHALE: Then that's the end of this episode of World Cup Recap -- for Eduardo Corwin and Bruce Escobar, i'm Ray White. Good night folks.

One Red Dot

17-04-2004, 13:44

The Red Dot Informant

Hurricanes Blow Away Wolves Chances

COCKBILL STREET - The One Red Dot Wolves are out of the running for the World Cup and can only cheer by the sidelines as once again, One Red Dot is eliminated at the Group Stage.

The Halfassed Hurricanes and the One Red Dot Wolves met at Jotneheim Park today for the second matchday of the 13th World Cup Group Match. However, once again, One Red Dot succumbed to a far more superior side, but only lost 0-1 fortunately.

This, in other words, spells the end of One Red Dot's running as the Wolves have suffered two losses.

The next match, against Giant Zucchini at K'haz'bak K'druz'ba D'gazh'dukh, can only be a match for pride.

Audioslavia

17-04-2004, 15:33

Audioslavia Is A Poopy Head

The Spaamanian media has layeth the smack down by saying the
Audioslavian media is a bunch of poopy heads. The Spaamanian media
are quoted as saying, "we will open a can of whoop arse on those big
nosed meanies." The Audioslavian media is yet to respond.

OFFICIAL: Spaam Smells Of Wee

For ten years now, Audioslavian scientists have been researching just what is that smell coming from the other side of the world. The Spaamanians have been trying to tell us that the smell is in fact 'The Spaamber Nectar' but we Audioslavians know better than that, as the 'Spaamber Nectar' was tag-line for a marketing campaign for a godawful pissy lager which Spaam sold in the mid-nineties. Although Castlespaam XXXX and wee have a very similar taste (according to a certain T. Black of Oglethorpia), it was found yesterday that that Spaaamanian smell is in fact, wee.

http://www.t0.or.at/~forstenlechner/pres/images/australian%20centerfold.jpg
Spaamanian centre-fold poses for G'dayboy magazine. It must be stressed that she is not a lesbian, and that lesbianism has been banned from all media throughout the world, ever.

Europa Brittania

17-04-2004, 17:41

All square.

Former world champions Europa Brittania today left the magnificant stadium hosting their WC XIII match two apiece, managing a draw against co-holders Cockbill Street.

EB had recovered from a stuttering qualification group to seal their next round travel and drawing against a formidable group including Ravenspire.

Brittania lined up 4-3-3.
----------------------Hansen---------------------

Ferian-------Zlitchrix----O'Hanrahan-------Stacey

-------Huntly--------Kiwitz------Khandrias-------

-----------Lomardi---Lionel---Lester-------------

Substitutes- K. Weillian, R Rhitome, V. Simmons & J. Han

EB were first on the offensive. a dangerous corner was directed on to goal, and Lionel a reaction too slow to prod it into the net, instead allowing the CB keeper to wrap his hands gratefully around it.

Europa Brittania had not enjoyed their record against Cockbill Street. Having failed to defeat them in consecutive meetings, much to the chargrin of the massive travelling support alongside the national team.

Delight then, as EB duly took the lead. A masterful long ball from O'Harahan, and a ruthlessely exploited offside run from Lomardi saw him escape his marker and cooly drill the ball past the despairing hand of the CB keeper.

Delight to ectasy as the lead was doubled. Kiwitz curled a beautiful effort into the top left hand corner after Helen needlessly pushed the left sided midfielder to the ground.

EB conceded an agonising goal on fifty one minutes, a long ball throw in from Curbishley allowed Hammerlock to totally wrong foot Stacey, and chip the ball past an outstretched Hansen to gift Pollock with an open goal.

The irritation for Brittania continued, as Kiwitz was again fouled by Helen, This time, the Cockbill Street native recieved her marching orders, and Kiwitz was forced to take an early bath with a suspected hamstring problem.

Pollock again punished the Brittanians shortly before eighty three minutes. A sweet, suprisingly calmed pass from Peterson allowed the centre forward to slot in the equaliser.

FULL TIME SCORE-

Europa Brittania 2 Cockbill Street 2

Lomardi 24, Kiwitz 39 Pollock 51,82

Former finalists meet, but the result is set in stone.

In one of the most interesting group suprises in recent years, Europa Brittania found themselves drawn, and playing next fellow co-hosts of WC IX, and beaten finalists Ravenspire. The two teams had not met since that illustrious, and long remembered day when three goals saw off the plucky Ravens, and the beginning of a new Brittanian age.

History teaches us that to avoid repetition, mistakes in the past must be addressed. Alistair Hughes and his team obviously felt that the solitary WC final goal conceded to Ravenspire was that mistkae, becuase in the group match played only a few short days ago EB came out 2-0 over their friends.

Lionel took the ball down well from a deflected Kiwitz effort, he rifled it goalward, before it impacted off the left post. It fell kindly to Huntly rushing in, and came off his shin into the net, a vital if unusual goal.

EB doubled this lead shortly after. A corner was only cleared as far as Kiwitz, who sent a curling left footed cross in for Lomardi to bury at close range, despite the firsts of the Ravenspire keeper. EB make it two games undefeated, entering their next group game against Oddslavo.

FINAL SCORE-

Europa Brittania 2

Huntly 13, Lomardi 60

Ravenspire 0

Eauz

18-04-2004, 01:24

Le LIBRE

Information and stats for 3rd match

As Les Bleus and their followers get ready for the well played match between TLC and Eauz, there is a little information to pass along. Middle Fielder Rousseau for Les Bleus will be out of the match due to a sickness. It is not though expected to be serious, and the coach just wanted to rest him for future matches, to make sure he is playing at 100%. In a press conference, Figeu declared that him team MUST and WILL win the next match, saying that Les Bleus must prove that they are for real, and should not be looked down on as a ‘surprise team’. Yeuseuv will be looking to help to that statement, as he goes into the match on a 180+ minutes of no goal play. At the stadium tonight, it is expected to be packed, as Fans from everywhere expect a very well played match on both sides.

It appears that first place is in the hands of Les Bleus; all they must do though, is play well. A win or a tie automatically makes them a first place team in group F.

Predictions for this match: Les Bleus take the match 1 – 0 going undefeated.

Eauz

18-04-2004, 01:35

[code:1:75971edbeb]
Group E Standings

Team G W D L GF GA GD P
The Eagles Nest 2 2 0 0 4 1 +3 6
The Belmore Family 1 1 0 0 2 0 +2 3
Commerce Heights 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0 ELIM
Runaway Moose 2 0 0 2 0 4 -4 0 ELIM
[/code:1:75971edbeb]

[code:1:75971edbeb]
Group F
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Eauz 6 2 0 0 3: 0 +3
2. The Lowland Clans 6 2 0 0 2: 0 +2
3. Dennisov 0 0 0 2 0: 2 -2 ELIM
4. Tanah Burung 0 0 0 2 0: 3 -3 ELIM
[/code:1:75971edbeb]

In the next round, Group E and F will be facing off against each other. It has been predicted that Eauz will finish first and face off against The Eagle's Nest, but if TEN has anything to say about it, they will try not to lose to TBF. The Eagle's Nest has already qualfied, but if they lose to TBF, and TBF scores 2 - 0 in the next match, The Eagle's Nest will fall into 2nd place.

Predictions for Round of 16:

Eauz vs The Belmore Family
The Eagle's Nest vs The Lowland Clans

Football fans around the world, will be keeping a close eye on these two matches, providing the 'Best for last'.

More information after the match against The Lowland Clans

The Lowland Clans

18-04-2004, 12:49

OOC: Eauz, go ahead and the RP for our match, I've updated my Roster so go use it for reference.

Snub Nose 38

18-04-2004, 12:50

[code:1:0622b2593d]
Group E Standings

Team G W D L GF GA GD P
The Eagles Nest 2 2 0 0 4 1 +3 6
The Belmore Family 1 1 0 0 2 0 +2 3
Commerce Heights 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0 ELIM
Runaway Moose 2 0 0 2 0 4 -4 0 ELIM
[/code:1:0622b2593d]

With Commerce Heights having two matches left to play, and Runaway Moose one, neither is mathematically eliminated. It is highly unlikely that RM will not be eliminated, as the maximum points RM could achieve is 3 - but with 3 points it is possible they could advance. CH could achieve 6 points, and advance.

(however, having just looked at the scores thread, TBF and CH drew - TEN now has 6 points, CH has 1 point, TBF 4 points and RM 0 points. while CH still has an outside chance, that does eliminate RM)

Kingsford

18-04-2004, 13:02

The following is a commercial:

(Purple Haze by Jimi Hendrix starts playing)

/Purple haze all in my brain/
Carl Shetfield kicks a goal past a keeper
/Lately things just don't seem the same/
Saturn Calcéte does a Bicycle kick to Norman Hallow, who heads it in
/Actin' Funny, but I don't know why/
Pacé Araño jumps and punches a high kick backwards over the bar
/'Scuse me while I kiss the sky/
Celedonio "El Murcielago" Santander jumps semi-bicycle and knocks a ball on it's way to the goal out of bounds
/Purple have all around/
Brian Morstedd jukes out a player around midfield
/Don't know if I'm comin' up or down/
A roster shot of the Kingsford National appears

The Kingsford National

Bedistan

18-04-2004, 19:56

The Columbia Times

It's About Damn Time
President declares state of emergency due to celebrations in Columbia

COCKBILL STREET -- The match itself was actually pretty boring -- halfassed, if you will. In fact, the Hurricanes didn't score a single goal when they played Bedistan this morning (Bedistani time) for matchday 3 of the WC13 first round at the Northset County Cricket Ground in Cockbill Street. And the Lions didn't score a goal either. Indeed, both squads were really working on their passing skills more than anything else, as nobody bothered to take a shot on goal. After all, Halfassedstates were already through, and all Bedistan needed was a draw, so why should either side bother scoring?

Despite the match itself being boring, though, its completion sends the Lions into the knockout stages for the first time in twelve years. As often happens, celebrations in the streets of Columbia have turned violent, and President Esther Marchese has declared a state of emergency after ten people were seriously injured when a car was tipped over.

All right, that's enough for this article -- this reporter is going out and joining the celebrations!

Bedistan

18-04-2004, 19:56

Oops. In the midst of the celebration, I seem to have run the presses twice. Hopefully the boss won't find out...

Audioslavia

18-04-2004, 20:12

Sliponia Slip-Up
Scoreless Bore Sends 'Slavia Through

With Kerla's win over Sliponia last week, Audioslavia knew that, with third placed Kerla playing second placed Liverpool England, Audioslavia would definately finish ahead of one or both of them no matter the result, and all they needed was a draw against Sliponia to progress. The 'slaves got the draw they needed, but did so entirely unconvincingly.

Audioslavia's strike force has been abysmal in the world cup, with Jonny Willow underperforming and Aaron O`Malley looking tired and out of ideas. This didnt change against Sliponia, as neither player looked like scoring.

Like the Kerla and Liverpool England matches, Audioslavia's only proper chances came from the midfielders, mainly the two central-midfielders Jackie Croft and Jeff Jordan. Croft had a shot saved in thirty minutes, whilst Jordan saw a header whizz past the post. It wasnt all Audioslavia though, as Sliponia almost took the lead before half-time from some neat inter-play between their strikers which tore the 'slaves defence apart and out of position, the Sliponian number nine barely missing from ten yards with the returning goalkeeper Robert Jones hopelessly out of position.

Jones, still struggling with the ankle injury he picked up against Kerla, looked visibly unconfortable and at half-time was replaced by Real Libertad goalkeeper James Scott. Scott pulled off the best save of the night just minutes after making his appearance, as again the Audioslavian defence was no-where to be seen.

Audioslavia changed to 4-4-2 mid-way through the second half as Branson brought himself on for Jordi Neeskens who was again having a fruitless game, although Branson didnt look that sharp either, giving away some useless passes and being caught in posession twice in his own half.

On seventy-five Audioslavia's multi-million pound strike force was replaced, with Phil Greene and Yves Maartins on for O`Malley and Willow. Maartins looked promising, but Greene didnt, earning himself a yellow card within minutes of coming on and failing to make one decent pass in his fifteen minutes on the field.

With the game drawing to a close Audioslavia tried to step up a gear but failed and almost let Sliponia have a goal with a counter-attack in injury time. Fortunately, the Sliponia number eleven's shot went straight at Scott, who cleared the ball up field in time for the referee's whistle.

Final Score
Audioslavia 0
Sliponia 0

[code:1:4efa3c9222]Group 4
Pld W D L GF:GA GD Pts
1. Audioslavia 3 1 2 0 3: 1 2 5
2. Liverpool England 2 1 1 0 3: 1 2 4
3. Kerla 2 1 0 1 2: 3 -1 3
4. Sliponia 3 0 1 2 1: 4 -3 1[/code:1:4efa3c9222]

With LE and Kerla playing each other tommorow, Audioslavia have secured their place in the second round, albiet unconvincingly. The 'slaves are destined to finish second however, unless LE and Kerla draw 0-0, whereas the 'slaves top the group by virtue of alphabetical order.

I've been Jeremy Jaffacake, g'nite bitches

The Eagles Nest

18-04-2004, 20:21

Strike Birds Win Group E

Birds Tie 1-1 in Strange Game with Belmore Family

The Strike Birds are the winner of Group E after they tied The Belmore Family 1-1. They await the results of Group F's game to see who they play. With the tie The Belmore Family also transfer regardless if Commerce Heights wins or not.

And why is this game strange? Here watch this tape:

Commentator: And The Belmore Family has just gone up 1-0 with a spectacular goal by Alan Belmore. The Nest could be in trouble if Commerce Heights wins. With 3 minutes left, the Nest is going to have a hard time getting the equalizer.

Anyway, it looks like Belmore and Nest striker Josh Adams are talking...let's see if we can get a feed on what they are saying as they run back to the center circle.

JA: Nice goal, but man what is up with your goalie?

AB: Huh? What he's pointing at you laughing....you're going to lose.

JA: No he's not he's pointing at you saying that he could have blocked that shot. If you thug there hadn't blocked my goalie's path he would have gotten it to.

AB: Sore Loser.

JA: No look, he's pointing at you again....wait *listens* yeah, he says that your shot was wussy and he could have blocked that easily.

AB: WHAT? that ingrate, I won this game for him and he treats me like this.

JA: Tell you what....I'll take the ball deep in, and you steal it and show him who's the star here on your team.

AB: *thinks* yeah, he shouldn't be calling me a fool.

Commentator: Oh he can't be that stupid to fall for that. Adams takes the ball, and drives towards the BF goal...Alan Belmore challenges him in the box, takes the ball...and turns around and shoots it at his own goalie, exactly the same shot he scored on at the other in...and TIES THE GAME?
I've seen it all. Absolutely seen it all.

AB: There you see, my goalie can't even stop that shot.

JA: Good going. oh thanks for the goal. You just lost the group you know.

AB: I always knew I had agood sho....what. *looks at scoreboard* DANG IT...why you... *gets the ball and starts running towards the Nest goal, but right before he gets to the penalty box the official's whistle blows and the game is over*

Commentator, well, we'll see who get who after we see the Group F results. Tune in tonight for complete Round of 16 pairings. What's this? It's looks like Alan Belmore just clocked Josh Adams from behind, and he's on the ground. We have a scrum on the field....oh my, what a fight, Anyway, we are out of time. Until next game. Good day.

-----------------------------
Striker Josh Adams has a small concussion and is listed as questionable for the next game.

Spaam

18-04-2004, 21:35

United Spaam Sports Weekly

Audioslavia Smells Like Poop

Spaam In GOHAPAA*

After over 16 hours of flawless play, star goalkeeper Alátari Súrion finally
let a goal through, as Nikea got a consolation goal late in second half. All
Spaam needed to secure the top spot in the group was at least a draw,
while Nikea needed to win to have any chance of progressing. The first
half saw some of the grittiest football ever, with both teams unable to
make many shots due to some fantastic defense. However, the beginning
of the second half was all Spaam, dominating the football, and getting two
thirds of possession for the half. Nikea's fantastic defense finally broke
when Meren Lûin received a pin point accurate corner shot from Elen
Súrion, and headed it in, to the dismay of the Nikeans.

With a one goal lead, Spaam's pressure eased up, but they still controlled
much of the ball, with Nikea quickly losing hope. It was only when the
game looked wrapped up that Nikea managed to penetrate the defense,
with one of their strikers creating a one-on-one situation with goalkeeper
Alátari Súrion. Alátari mispredicted the shot, and Nikea finally scored in
the 88th minute, but it was too late. The game finished in a 1 all draw,
with Spaam securing top spot in Group C, and Nikea's World Cup dream at
an end. That goal was the first goal that Alátari Súrion had let through in
998 minutes of football, two minutes short of the 1 thousand minute mark.
However, the mark she has made is more than indelible, and her
contribution to the team will be invaluable in their upcoming matches.

[code:1:07615ea462]Group C P W D L F A GD Pts
Spaam 3 2 1 0 4 1 +3 7
Squornshelous 2 1 0 1 3 3 0 3
Nikea 3 0 2 1 3 4 -1 2
Antaeus Rising 2 0 1 1 0 2 -2 1
[/code:1:07615ea462]

*Group Of Hardly Any Pain At All

Where Do We Go From Here?

Spaam will almost certainly play Audioslavia in the Round of 16, unless
Liverpool England and Kerla finish in a nil all draw, which would see Spaam
facing their Heartland neighbours, and former World Champions, Liverpool
England. So Spaam is hoping that they DON'T finish in a nil all draw.
Spaam and Audioslavia have played 3 times before in World Cup
competition. They played in the groups stage of World Cup 6, where
Spaam thrashed Audioslavia 3-0, and then went on to third place in the
cup. The other two times were in the qualifying for World Cup 9, which
United Spaam boycotted. Those matches ended in a 2-0 home win for
Audioslavia, and a 1-0 home win for Spaam.

So, even though Spaam has 2-1 record over Audioslavia, current
performance suggest that Audioslavia have the advantage, as they are
ranked 2nd in the world. In addition, all the bookies around the world are
predicting an clear Audioslavian win, which makes Spaam veritable
underdogs in this matchup. However, this is the best performance Spaam
has had, since they reached the World Cup finals a quarter of a century
ago, so win or lose, Spaam's performance has been excellent. This, of
course, doesn't mean we can't build up a rivalry....

Audioslavian Beer Laced With Wombat Feces

Rumours spread by the Audioslavian media that Spaam's top piss is, well,
piss, have been proven utterly false by Spaamanian alcohol officials,
scientists, and outside investigators. However, this has prompted an
investigation of Audioslavia's top beer, Audwiser. Scientists within
Spaam, and from other nations, have conducted tests on the
Audioslavian 'beer', to try and determins why it tastes so goddamn awful.
They manged to come up with two very important findings: one, that
Audwiser containts only 0.1% alcohol, confirming rumours that
Audioslavians can't hold their alcohol. For comparison's sake,
Spaamanian water contains the same amount of alcohol.

The other important finding is that Audwiser seems to be laced with a
chemical compound which is almost identical to wombat feces. Not only
does this explain the atrocious taste, but it also explains why Audioslavia
smells like poop. Thats right....

Audioslavia Smell Like Poop!

OOC: :P ;)

Gesamtkuntswerk

19-04-2004, 01:22

Sturms Advance!

A two-zero victory over Total and Utter Insanity has secured the advancement of the Gesamtkuntswerk Sturms into the final sixteen. This marks the second time the Sturms have advanced to this level of the World Cup; the last time this occurred, the Sturms faced the incumbant champion team Brazillico and fell early on. This year, however, the Sturms have an impeccable record, bragging still no losses and the best defensive coverage in the league. Citizens from all over the Heartland and the World have come together to support the Sturms in their drive to the Cup.

(OOC: Sorry for the shortness of this post, but this damn thing keeps on eating my efforts up)

Svecia

19-04-2004, 01:44

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

SVECIA DEVOUR OGLETHORPIA
Huge offensive output pummels group leaders 4-0, sends Svecia through to second round
Söndag 18 April, 2004

Rejistania - Head coach of the Svecia Lightningm, Tim Sweers, said after their loss to Lemmitania Friday night that his squad would need to take advantage of their offensive chances and put the ball away if they wanted any hope of moving on. This was after Sveica had put 5 shots on goal in the second half alone.

Did his players heed his word? You bet they did. Beyond all expectations.

The four goal output last night was a huge upset victory for the Lightning, as Oglethorpia was ranked 10th in the world going into this year's world cup. Coming out, however, it will be the Svecians moving forward. But rankings aren't the only thing the yellow and blues are after.

"I don't really want to think too far ahead yet" said Svecikan defender Hans Larsson after the match. "This game was just amazing. [Fransisco] Carati was unbelievable out there. He'll be a big key to the rest of the run."

Indeed Carati did have an amazing night, scoring two of the goals in the 14th and 78th minutes and assisting Olaf Swatch and Arnold van der Rein on the other two in the 29th and 35th minutes respectively. Swatch and van der Rein, not usually known for their striking ability as much as their passing and vision, both scored their goals on perfectly placed shots into the top left corner after picking up the ball on dishes from Carati.

The offensive effort was the same as against Lemmitania, the only difference being that last night the shots actually went in. That and the teams left for halftime with Svecia holding the momentum and a 3-0 lead.

As good as the offense was, however, the defense were the real heroes of the match, holding Oglethorpia to only 3 shots on goal. Keeper Piet van Meer did the rest by knocking those out.

It has not been determined yet who Svecia will play in the next round. But they will have to keep their momentum. And now their offense has a name to live up to. It has been predicted that Sveica has peaked and will not return to the final four. It was also said that Svecia would have a tough time qualifying for the second round. Could this be the year Svecia finally returns to the semifinals?

Squornshelous

19-04-2004, 05:00

Aww Shit!
Squornshelous eliminated from World Cup 13 by 1-2 loss to Antaeus Rising.

Squornshelous Goal Scored by Jamal Richards

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Jackson: 12
Richards: 7
Rivera: 3
Brooks: 3
Jones: 3
Chavez: 2
Stikolsmur: 1

Total: 31

Retiring Players:
D Zak Truman*** #17
D Smitz Arnaud*** #8
D Micheal Salazar*** #19
M Alex Fink*** #21
M Tito Rivera*** #15
M Sammy Brooks*** #24

Next Cup's Roster looks like:

Starters:
GK Toby Allen*** #1
LD Roberto Enriquez** #22
CD Karl Edmonds** #2
RD Ernesto Gonzalez* #4
LDM Viktor Grigoriyev* #25
RDM Darrik Rutter** #18
CM Ben Robertson** #23
LAM Sven Stikolsmur** #16
RAM Jamal Richards** #7
CF Tobias Jones* #6
ST Koren Jackson*** #9

Substitutes:
GK Kevin Thomas** #5
D Alfonso DeLeon* #10
D ????????????
M Ian Combs* #14
M Johnathon Stamper* #12
F Francisco Chavez** #3

Reserves:
GK George Kearse* #13
D ????????????
D ????????????
M ????????????
M ????????????
M ????????????
F Harrison Franks* #20
F Zeke Fredricks* #11

Coaching:
Head Coach: Greg Newsome
Assistant Coach: James Naylor
Conditioning Coach: Franz Alberts
Goalkeepers Coach: Hector Vasquez

* signifies number of previous world cups played in (now including 13)

Dennisov

19-04-2004, 08:51

Dennisov Eliminated

After the miracle of qualification came the reality of elimination. After only two of the three groups games, Dennisov will not be able to progress in this year's tournament.

"It's a shame if you lose games by such slight margins." Conacher said after their latest 1-0 loss. "We will play to win the last game against Tanah Burung, we want to show the fans back home that we are capable of winning."

Although Dennisov played well, the early goal by The Lowlands Clan proved fatal. The game against Eauz was a show of poor attacking form by Dennisov and this game was no different. The whole team seemed unable to communicate or even to complete the simplest of passes. With only Cheevers and Conacher playing well, that left Dennisov with 9 players doing their best not to become a team.

"We are in serious need of some half-decent players if we want to make any mark on international football." the Dennisov manager agreed with the reporters. "Right now we rely heavily on Cheevers in goal and Conacher to score goals. We need more than just 2 players to win games."

Whether the youths of Dennisov are willing to play more football remains very doubtful as both baseball and icehockey keep pulling youngsters towards those games. The fact that people are allowed to take time off to play baseball naturally benefits that game a whole lot more than any of the other sports. Icehockey has always been a major sport, especially northern Dennisov seems to be totally addicted to that one. Baseball in the south, hockey in the north, that doesn't leave a lot of room for football, maybe the beaches?

Eauz

19-04-2004, 13:06

Le LIBRE

Les Bleus come first

In the last match of group F, Les Bleus were up against The Lowland Clans, who would prove to be a tough team to beat, but still Les Bleus had heart to take first place.

Les Bleus already knew they would qualify for the round of 16, but did not know what position, first or second. It seemed pretty easy that all they had to achieve was a win or a tie, and they would go on to take first place of group F. The Lowland Clans though, would not roll over like the other 2 teams Les Bleus have played. The match started off with screaming fans, and all cameras on the match, ready to watch a surprise team play against a well known experienced team. Les Bleus went on an early attack during the 10th minute of play, but resulted in nothing. Even though they did not score this put the moral of Les Bleus up, because they were taking early control of the match. Control of the match would stay in the hands of Les Bleus for the rest of the first half. Unfortunately, nothing resulted from the attacks.

The second half saw The Lowland Clans team of the past come back strong, and provide some strong competition for Les Bleus. Les Bleus found themselves in a bit of trouble as The Lowland Clans got many shots on goal, a few almost going in. After a while though, the match did not have very many other strong attacks from either side. The match would result in a 0 – 0 tie.

With the tie, Les Bleus finish tied for points with TLC with 7, but because of the GD, Les Bleus take first place in the group. Les Bleus were not expected to come first in the group, as disappointment in Tanah Burung took them to 4th in group F. Up next for Les Bleus will be The Belmore Family, which ended up in 2nd place in group E with only 5 points. Les Bleus now find themselves in mysterious areas, having never reached the round of 16. The coach was quoted as saying: “Now we get to see if our team is for REAL”. Each day Les Bleus play, it seems as if they get better and better, and possibly have a good chance at going further in the World Cup.

[code:1:39075e0876]
Group F
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Eauz 7 2 1 0 3: 0 3
2. The Lowland Clans 7 2 1 0 2: 0 2
3. Dennisov 3 1 0 2 1: 2 -1
4. Tanah Burung 0 0 0 3 0: 4 -4
[/code:1:39075e0876]

Match-ups for The Round of 16:

In Rejistania:

Rejistania vs. Lemmitania

Svecia vs. Gesamtkuntswerk

Spaam vs. *Audioslavia

*Liverpool England vs. Antaeus Rising

*Unless, these two teams are switched, because they finished with same GD and points

Matches in Cockbill Street

The Eagles Nest vs. The Lowland Clans

Eauz vs. The Belmore Family

Halfassedstates vs. Ravenspire

Europa Brittania vs. Bedistan

Eauz

19-04-2004, 13:07

Le LIBRE

Les Bleus come first

In the last match of group F, Les Bleus were up against The Lowland Clans, who would prove to be a tough team to beat, but still Les Bleus had heart to take first place.

Les Bleus already knew they would qualify for the round of 16, but did not know what position, first or second. It seemed pretty easy that all they had to achieve was a win or a tie, and they would go on to take first place of group F. The Lowland Clans though, would not roll over like the other 2 teams Les Bleus have played. The match started off with screaming fans, and all cameras on the match, ready to watch a surprise team play against a well known experienced team. Les Bleus went on an early attack during the 10th minute of play, but resulted in nothing. Even though they did not score this put the moral of Les Bleus up, because they were taking early control of the match. Control of the match would stay in the hands of Les Bleus for the rest of the first half. Unfortunately, nothing resulted from the attacks.

The second half saw The Lowland Clans team of the past come back strong, and provide some strong competition for Les Bleus. Les Bleus found themselves in a bit of trouble as The Lowland Clans got many shots on goal, a few almost going in. After a while though, the match did not have very many other strong attacks from either side. The match would result in a 0 – 0 tie.

With the tie, Les Bleus finish tied for points with TLC with 7, but because of the GD, Les Bleus take first place in the group. Les Bleus were not expected to come first in the group, as disappointment in Tanah Burung took them to 4th in group F. Up next for Les Bleus will be The Belmore Family, which ended up in 2nd place in group E with only 5 points. Les Bleus now find themselves in mysterious areas, having never reached the round of 16. The coach was quoted as saying: “Now we get to see if our team is for REAL”. Each day Les Bleus play, it seems as if they get better and better, and possibly have a good chance at going further in the World Cup.

[code:1:b5f30fb428]
Group F
Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Eauz 7 2 1 0 3: 0 3
2. The Lowland Clans 7 2 1 0 2: 0 2
3. Dennisov 3 1 0 2 1: 2 -1
4. Tanah Burung 0 0 0 3 0: 4 -4
[/code:1:b5f30fb428]

Match-ups for The Round of 16:

In Rejistania:

Rejistania vs. Lemmitania

Svecia vs. Gesamtkuntswerk

Spaam vs. *Audioslavia

*Liverpool England vs. Antaeus Rising

*Unless, these two teams are switched, because they finished with same GD and points

Matches in Cockbill Street

The Eagles Nest vs. The Lowland Clans

Eauz vs. The Belmore Family

Halfassedstates vs. Ravenspire

Europa Brittania vs. Bedistan

Cockbill Street

19-04-2004, 14:19

Ankh-Morpork C-mail
Cockbill Street Department

Still Unbeaten - How Long Will It Last
Draw Required Against Ravens To Qualify

That's it. A solid, if not spectacular, performance against the once-great Oddslavans, and the Streeters are on their way to the second round. A totally new experience this will be for the Streeters, having never even played in the finals before - however, they have experience with knock-outs, having played in three Cups of Harmony, winning one and reaching the quarter-finals of another.

The more experienced striker Tor Stronginthearm was back for Jonny Ball today, and he immediately made his mark with some very nice dribbles, which ended up in a corner kick. Neil Trucker, a debutant who had come on due to Helen Carpenter's suspension, took the corner, which landed on the head of Simon Jones. His header, though, went just outside the post.

The Oddslavans had quite a few chances as well, but Robbie Curbishley continued on his excellent form from last week and must surely be a dead cert for the XI playing Ravenspire for the second round spot. He made a couple of saves that were truly world class, and was the main reason that the match was at 0-0 at half time.

Eventually, though, the Streeters dared to attack a bit more, having more stamina than their opponents. In the 78th minute, Bjorn Hammerhock broke through on the right wing with a nice dribble. He then did a nice one-two pass with Harald Axewielder, who returned it on a one-two, making Hammerhock free to cross the ball. He did, hitting the head of Alec Peterson, who swiftly put the ball under the bar and made it 1-0 up.

That means that a draw against Ravenspire is enough for Cockbill Street to proceed into the second round. Whatever the result of the Europa Brittania - Ravenspire match, if Cockbill Street draw Ravenspire, these two teams can not both get more points than the Streeters simultaneously.

Cockbill Street team: Curbishley 6 - Goldminer 4, Trucker 6, Chalky 6 - Jones 7, Hauritz 6 (Lehrer 5 on 58), H Axewielder 6, Hammerhock 6 - Pollock 6 (Ball 5 on 49), Peterson 7, Stronginthearm 6.

Streeters Go Down By Odd Goal
One Goal Loss Would Have Seen Us Through - So We Lose By Two

After a good tournament, drawing with Europa Brittania and beating the strong Oddslavans, we just had to collapse in the last game. Before the game, it was clear that we could get through to the second round - just as long as we avoided a two-goal defeat.

And it started well. The Streeters decided that attack was the best defense, and raided well up the left wing. Simon Jones was in total control there, cooperating with Harald Axewielder to create several big chances. However, the attackers were unable to convert them thanks to Ravenspire's great keeper, Angelo Harrington.

Ravenspire, playing with only two midfielders in this game, were very outnumbered there. However, the Streeters easily made mistakes in their defense, and that allowed Ravenspire to score the first goal after 35 minutes - Felicia Smythe got the ball gifted from Neil Trucker, a simple pass which he missed, and she proceeded to dribble off the left back Hroar Goldminer and put the easy finish behind Curbishley.

1-0 and still no problem. At that moment, Ravenspire had a negative goal difference, but Cockbill Street had zero and would thus go through on goal difference as both teams had four points. And, despite the Streeters owning the midfield, the Ravens managed to keep the clean sheet until half time.

Cockbill Street continued to attack during the second half. And, ironically, it became their downfall. Fighting desperately for the equaliser which would virtually secure their win, they completely forgot about their defense. A swift long pass from Alexander Ford to Kyria Chase, who suddenly found herself alone with Hroar Goldminer - she easily outwitted him, lobbing the ball over him and running around, and then beat Robbie Curbishley with a long range strike to finish the game and Cockbill Street's second round hopes off.

Cockbill Street team: Curbishley 6 - Goldminer 5, Trucker 4, Chalky 4 - Jones 6, H Axewielder 4, Hauritz 3 (Lehrer on 85), Hammerhock 5 - Ball 4, Peterson 4, Stronginthearm 5.

Ravenspire team: Harrington - Fox, Marx, Ford, Spencer - Ng, Shizura - Shirosawa, Chase, Smythe, Hardy.

Second Round Matches in Cockbill Street:

Halfassedstates v Ravenspire - Vimesbairn National Stadium
Europa Brittania v Bedistan - K'haz'bak K'druz'ba D'gazh'dukh
Eauz v The Belmore Family - Vimesbairn Cricket Ground
The Eagles Nest v The Lowland Clans - Northset County Cricket Ground

NationStates Jolt Archive

World Cup 13 - RPs - Page 3