NationStates Jolt Archive

Issue 101:

Tiara Sign of Oppression, Declare Feminists
The Issue

Kuat's upcoming hosting of a major international beauty pageant has upset some citizens concerned about the message it puts across.
The Debate

1. "These beauty pageants are a disgrace to women everywhere!" shouts feminist campaigner, Abraham Dodinas. "They objectify the female body and re-enforce negative stereotyping! They celebrate the appearance instead of the personality! What message is this sending out to our children? Do we want them to think shallowness and vanity are virtues? Ban beauty contests! We must focus the education of our progeny on ethics and equality or suffer the consequences!"
[Accept]

2. "I agree that the pageants should be banned," pontificates renowned moralist, the Ever So Slightly Reverend Fleur Clinton. "But purely in the name of moral decency! All those fashion stores that sponsor these contests make lots of money from this blasphemy and that is just plain wrong! These women wear revealing clothing that seek to entice and seduce young men. As such, we should go a step further, and institute a dress code! Long, plaid skirts for the girls, with necklines that never drop below the base of the neck! Only then will the women of our nation be cleansed of sin!"
[Accept]

3. "What in the name of all that's decent and good are you talking about?" exclaims May Trax, leader of the egalitarian civil rights movement 'Everyone Is Equal, Dammit'. "Obviously these pageants will always be sexist unless they're open to everyone. Admiring women only for their beauty is an insult to their intelligence and the beauty of men! It's dually sexist! Open up the pageant to both sexes!"
[Accept]

The Government Position

The government has yet to formalize a position on this issue.

If you wish, you may simply dismiss this issue.

Issue by: The Second Protectorate of The Prelapsarian State
Editor: Sirocco

How about a 4th option whereby the government increases tax on cigarettes (again). Financially discourages smoking while answering the argument based on the cost to health service (smokers in the UK pay many times over for their treatment). Don't know the codes, someone who knows about this and cares enough to phrase it in an issue type manner can take this on. I've said my piece.

The Issue
A group of transport analysts have suggested that a charge of five linas a day for vehicle access to Rialst Endai's most congested inner-cities during peak hours is the only way to solve their ever-growing traffic problem.

The Debate
"Similar schemes have been very effective elsewhere," says Akira Fellow, Rialst Endai's most infamous traffic warden. "It's common sense that the best way to curb dangerously high demand is to raise the price of the supply - or, as in this case, to create a price. Charging citizens to go into more congested areas could, combined with the improvements to public transport it will finance, actually make people choose public transport over their cars. I don't see why people shouldn't pay tax for a little less traffic on our roads."
[Accept]


"These tolls are a preposterous idea," argues road lobbyist, Roxanne Hendrikson. "Public transport will never replace the car - I don't want to be forced to share my space with a bunch of malodorous working-class people on my way to work. Not that I would be, because I could afford the charge, but really, it's the principle of the matter! The only solution is to expand urban road networks. True, some pavements and green spots would have to go, but those pedestrians should be able to put up with that if they're to expect Rialst Endai to be part of the modern world."
[Accept]


"Allowing cars to scoot around and pollute our cities was a bad idea in the first place," says Charles Washington, a famous environmentalist. "The solution is to restrict private transport to main roads and motorways whilst funding a major urban public transport scheme. Our buses and undergrounds could be the envy of the world! Yes, the car companies will suffer a little, and yes, there'll be a bit more tax, but wouldn't it be worth it for a bit of fresh air and safe streets for the children?"
[Accept]

The Issue
A group of transport analysts have suggested that a charge of five @@currency@@s a day for vehicle access to @@name@@'s most congested inner-cities during peak hours is the only way to solve their ever-growing traffic problem.

The Debate
"Similar schemes have been very effective elsewhere," says @@randomname@@, @@name@@'s most infamous traffic warden. "It's common sense that the best way to curb dangerously high demand is to raise the price of the supply - or, as in this case, to create a price. Charging citizens to go into more congested areas could, combined with the improvements to public transport it will finance, actually make people choose public transport over their cars. I don't see why people shouldn't pay tax for a little less traffic on our roads."
[Accept]


"These tolls are a preposterous idea," argues road lobbyist, @@randomname@@. "Public transport will never replace the car - I don't want to be forced to share my space with a bunch of malodorous working-class people on my way to work. Not that I would be, because I could afford the charge, but really, it's the principle of the matter! The only solution is to expand urban road networks. True, some pavements and green spots would have to go, but those pedestrians should be able to put up with that if they're to expect @@name@@ to be part of the modern world."
[Accept]


"Allowing cars to scoot around and pollute our cities was a bad idea in the first place," says @@randomname@@, a famous environmentalist. "The solution is to restrict private transport to main roads and motorways whilst funding a major urban public transport scheme. Our buses and undergrounds could be the envy of the world! Yes, the car companies will suffer a little, and yes, there'll be a bit more tax, but wouldn't it be worth it for a bit of fresh air and safe streets for the children?"
[Accept]
This is issue #102, title: 'For Whom The Road Tolls', proposed by Ta kala, edited by Sirocco

BTW: only 5 totally inflated yens for the road usage? ;)

Public Loudspeakers Shrill With Controversy [Issue by Alpha Centauri]

The Issue
A recent poll on putting up huge loudspeakers in @@NAME@@'s cities for public government broadcasts has been brought to your attention.

The Debate
1. "This idea is brilliant, and @@NAME@@ can't afford to pass it up," claims @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Safety. "These loudspeakers can assure the public that the government is always here to help them. The potential here, to immediately warn citizens of an emergency such as an earthquake or a stampede of panthers or something, simply must be taken into account! This could save lives! And I suppose, when there isn't anything the citizens need to be told, you could always use them to broadcast patriotic messages like '@@MOTTO@@' and inform the good people which party to join and vote for with newsbriefs and such. It'll be worth it to strengthen the populace's devotion to our glorious nation!"

2. "I think people need to realise what this really is: brainwashing!" retorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, a wealthy marketer. "I don't want to hear all this flag-waving hogwash everytime I go out for a walk. But when it comes to emergencies, I do agree that something should be done to warn everyone: we should send out messages on mandatory minature radios that you can carry in your pocket. It could tell you things you need to know too, like what shoes to buy and such."

3. "To be honest, I can't see why we should put up with advertising at all," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, an anti-business protester. "All it is is some multi-billionaire or politician somewhere trying to make even more money while the rest of us struggle to make ends meet. I say we ban it. Maybe the economy will suffer a little and some people may lose jobs but that's just a minor side-effect really, especially when you consider that no longer will our children be encouraged to fill themselves with junk-food because some guy on the telly tells them it's cool!"

No. of Issues: 106

#105: Compensation Culture Must End, Say Corporations

The Issue
After a recent spate of high-profile lawsuits against corporations concerning the safety of their products, corporations have appealed to the government to change the laws of compensation.

The Debate
"It's crazy!" cries Calvin Li, CEO of Sharp 'n' Pointy Things Incorporated. "These people should simply not be allowed to put the blame on us if they mindlessly abuse our products! I'd have thought it would be common sense not to stick hand your in a blender to 'see if it was working properly'. We need to outlaw these ridiculous lawsuits so I can get on with my business and those working in the law profession can get on with theirs."
[Accept]


"I'm almost inclined to agree," muses Al Wong, a nearby firefighter. "People really should know better than to dry their cats in the microwave oven. But it's also that microwave oven that should not start a fire if one leaves it running overnight. Let's just put higher national safety standards in place that all products must be certified to meet. The extra expense shouldn't worry people if it's the difference between life and death after all."
[Accept]


"There's nothing wrong with victims getting a little money for the damage they've suffered," claims Prudence Clinton, Dohnnra's most notorious lawyer. "In fact we should be increasing court capacities so everyone with a complaint to file won't have to wait long before they can get before a judge. Sure it'll be expensive to implement, but maybe then the manufacturers will think twice before selling their unsafe junk without explaining things clearly in the manuals!"
[Accept]


Issue by: The Theocracy of Zhudor
Editor: Sirocco

... :shock: Holy cow...you must've spent MONTHS on that or something...

#106 Give The Red Light District The Green Light?

The Issue
After a recent survey discovered that nearly 40% of all citizens in Volcanic Dust are single, there has been an increasingly loud call for the legalisation of prostitution.

The Debate
"I just can't get a girl no matter what I do," laments acne-afflicted nerd, Al Hendrikson. "If the cops would just look the other way about prostitution, it'd make my life much easier. Yeah, I'd be risking all sorts of diseases, but it's my body isn't it?"
[Accept]


"We can't allow this to happen!" protests Dr. Billy Washington, senior pathologist of Volcanic Dust's largest hospital. "Prostitution is a dangerous business and must remain illegal! People need to be more aware of the consequences that could follow like the risk of contracting HIV, chlamydia, or even AIDS. I say we get some funding for a large awareness programme on sexually transmitted diseases and maybe then people will act responsibly between the covers. It'll be expensive sure, but well worth it."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.


"Not so fast now!" interjects daring entrepreneur, Klaus du Pont. "Why don't we just have the prostitution industry run by the government? By letting the government regulate prostitution, Volcanic Dust can force any patrons to undergo tests for diseases, make prostitutes have regular medical check-ups and pay a portion of their profits to the government. Of course we'd still have to put more policemen on the streets to keep illegal brothels from popping up and make sure the hospitals are equipped to handle the extra workload, but you can always raise taxes to account for that."
[Accept]
The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 2.

If you wish, you may simply dismiss this issue.

Issue by: The Armed Republic of Lmaortfmolia
Editor: Sirocco

#107

Private Lab Holds Leeward Savvy's Sick To Ransom

The Issue
Scientists at a private medical research laboratory have announced that they have produced a drug which will combat Leeward Savvy's most notorious malady - Spon Plague.

The Debate
"This pill is the only known and unknown cure for the Spon Plague!" proclaims Professor Zeke Nagasawa, the inventor of the cure. "But if we are to go ahead with the production of this drug, we must get some government support. We're set to make a fortune from this drug - the money we earn will help us develop even more cures for other as-yet untreatable diseases. Some people won't be able to afford it of course, but hard cheese on them: they should have got a paying job while they were still capable."
[Accept]


"That's a disgraceful way to think!" says equal rights activist, Johan Summers. "So the people who need the most help shouldn't get any? I propose that the government subsidises the production of all drugs so everyone can benefit from them, rich or not! That way the money-hungry corporations won't profit from the suffering of the masses. Of course there will be the matter of a small tax rise to fund it - but what's that when lives will be saved?"
[Accept]


"I can't believe what I'm hearing," deplores well-respected religious leader, Calvin Dredd. "If God didn't want people to have this disease he wouldn't have created it in the first place. This is completely against the will of God and if the government allows this drug to go on sale we will all be doomed to an afterlife in a dark and fiery place! Now let's end this madness and abolish the production of pharmaceuticals and drugs altogether!"
[Accept]

Waugh! Frag it all, Sirocco is kicking my ass on issues left and right! :cry:

#107: Private Lab Holds Nations Sick To Ransom

yes I finally got one

#109: Karate Kids Cause Controversy

Karate Kids Cause Controversy

The Issue
Free, youth-orientated martial arts programmes have gained popularity in communities where youth crime is a problem.

The Debate
"What better way to keep kids off of the streets?" asks Hack Frederickson, a professional judo instructor. "It's fun, good exercise and gives an invaluable insight into our nation's culture! It gives these youngsters something positive to channel their energy into; energy that might have otherwise been used to rob banks or mug people in alleyways. But self-defence programmes like mine will need government funding to really make a difference - surely the public wouldn't mind paying a little more tax to put an end to the gangs of yobs prowling the streets?"



"It's a good idea, but it's not taking it far enough!" declares General Alexei Silk of HC Eredivisie's army. "If we could conscript these kids into the army, we'd be able to put their skills to good use! No one would mess with HC Eredivisie if we had a butt-kickin' karate unit on the battlefield! It may be a little expensive but we can just take money out of the education budget since these kids will be under our tuition. Their families may not be happy about it, but remember this: these young lads will be getting to do something which is the envy of every hot-blooded citizen - fight for their country against blood-sucking foreigners!"


"This is ridiculous!" comments police officer, Billy O'Bannon. "Teach junior thugs how to fight? Good idea, why don't we teach them how to make bombs out of duct-tape and cheese next? I say we ban this archaic mode of combat which only serves to encourage these punks in their violent ways, and introduce more government funding for the police force! With more cash we could really show the little blighters what discipline's all about."


Issue by: The Glorious States of Yarrum
Editor: Sirocco

@@SLOGAN@@: National motto (from settings)

Ok... which mod changed @@MOTTO@@ to @@SLOGAN@@ ?

Please understand I keep the original to this thread on my computer, and when changes are made I sometimes will copy / paste over the entire thing. In other words: while I appreciate mods fixing errors, PLEASE do let me know. If I don't know about what you changed I'm likely to end up just pasting over it with the unchanged copy at some point in the future!

Ballotonia

no 103?

no 103?

There's probably an issue #103. I just have no idea what it is. Could be an easter egg evily hidden by Salusa. Like #80.

There's holes in my list! :cry:

(beats having eels in my hovercraft though ;) )

Ballotonia

#110 Too Low On Laws, Say Citizens

The Issue
Various opinions have been brought to your attention over what your closest advisors are referring to as the 'anarchy situation'.

The Debate
"We've got to do something about this chaos!" yells General Roger McGuffin, firing a rifle at a band of armed looters. "There's no order in this country! No one is safe! We must rebuild the army and crack down on the militant groups ravaging our fair land! It's the only way we will ever return the cesspit of crime and depravity Kandarin has become to a land of law and order!"
[Accept]


Returning fire, both figuratively and literally, is Elizabeth Love, biker gang leader and anarchist: "That there's anyone claiming to be a government is ludicrous. People should be allowed to determine their own fate and survival without fear of breaking these inhibiting laws! All government officials should be removed at once if this country is ever to become well and truly 'equal'!"
[Accept]


"I've got a different idea," says Freddy Nagasawa, your minister of commerce, speaking from his hiding place under a desk. "Television viewers in more developed countries actually like seeing gratuitous violence. We could put up cameras in some of the more dangerous streets and sell the broadcasting rights to foreign networks. It could raise awareness of our situation, or at the very least rake in some Diamond Tokens. The money could be used to fund a more organised police system to enforce the law."
[Accept]
The Government Position
The government has yet to formalize a position on this issue.

If you wish, you may simply dismiss this issue.

Issue by: The Republic of Kandarin :)
Editor: Sirocco

Southern @@NAME@@ demands Semi-Autonomy (#111)

The Issue

Politicians from a distant and obscure part of @@NAME@@ have been calling for the government to split A violent majority into various semi-autonomous regions, each with an elected council to govern their designated area.

The Debate

1. "The government is too centralised," complains rural villager, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "We get these big-city politicians making rulings that effect our way of life, when they have absolutely no idea what our way of life is! One of them even suggested that farmers should be banned from picking crops in case they disturbed the local wildlife! What we need are various councils to govern their own part of @@NAME@@, giving us the chance to have our say on laws affecting our area. It'll bring politics to the people! Of course this will require the implementation of a council tax to fund it all, but if that's the cost of more political freedom, then so be it!"
[Accept]
2. "Councils? Are you mad?" gasps political commentator, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Most of the politicians we already have earn very large sums each year - and you want to employ even more?! We must not listen to the whims of some dangerous separatist movement, next they'll be wanting independence! I suggest we keep the government in one place where we can keep an eye on it and stop creating more jobs for over-paid politicians. Heck, why not trim off the ones we don't need while we're at it and give some leeway to the tax payers? Anyway, if we allowed places like West @@NAME@@ to make decisions for themselves, they would soon be introducing laws allowing them to marry their cousins or something - you know what they're like..."
[Accept]
3. "These people are obviously power-hungry lunatics," whispers @@NAME@@, one of your innumerable advisors. "They're simply trying to loosen your grip on the nation! Let's just send anyone who opposes your absolute rule to the gallows and ban elections. We hardly need them when you always know what to do! There may be some protest, but we can just lower taxes and they'll be as happy as clams."
[Accept]

Issue by: The Apolytonian Republic of Ceroo
Editor: Sirocco

#112 Put The Phone Down On Cold Calling?

The Issue
A growing group of Leeward Savvy's citizens are battling for an end to unrequested solicitations from salesmen.

The Debate
"This has to stop," says mild-mannered parent George W. Bush. "My family can't even have dinner without being interrupted at least five times by telemarketers or door-to-door salesmen! My privacy is being invaded! The government ought to ban all forms of unrequested solicitations from salespeople. The sanity of the populace is at stake here!"
[Accept]


"This must be a joke," retorts insurance sales solicitor Max Love, in between cold calls. "Telemarketing and door-to-door sales are some of the most effective methods of increasing revenues. Banning them would be a huge blow to business, and put thousands of workers out of their jobs! Let's face the facts - Leeward Savvy needs an economy, and banning cold calls isn't the best of ways to improve it. One way you could improve it would be to, say, give us some government funds. For the sake of Leeward Savvy, of course."
[Accept]
The Government Position
The government is preparing to dismiss this issue.

Issue by: The Radical Libertarian Paradise of Frigben
Editor: Sirocco

Whoa, Siro's been busy. He accepted 3 more isues today, and the way he talked about it, he made it sound abnormal for him. :shock:

Added as well:

#114: Wipe Out Graffiti? [Issue by Gelvanie]
#115: @@NAME@@'s Schoolchildren Not Learning The Lingua Franca [Issue by Travis dominicus]


No idea yet what #113 is.

Ballotonia

Added as well:

#114: Wipe Out Graffiti? [Issue by Gelvanie]
#115: @@NAME@@'s Schoolchildren Not Learning The Lingua Franca [Issue by Travis dominicus]


No idea yet what #113 is.

Ballotonia
Why don't you mention who edited the issues in the sticky by the way Ballo?

Why don't you mention who edited the issues in the sticky by the way Ballo?

Well, the author is mentioned as credit for writing it. I don't know how much work editing an issue is, nor how much creative elements are in the task. Is it something which warrants crediting the editor?

Ballotonia

Why don't you mention who edited the issues in the sticky by the way Ballo?

Well, the author is mentioned as credit for writing it. I don't know how much work editing an issue is, nor how much creative elements are in the task. Is it something which warrants crediting the editor?

Ballotonia

Well, in a technical sense, editting issues takes a lot of time, effort, and thought. After all, these things will impact a nation's stats, we can't just arbitrarily assign stat changes. In the creative sense, it varies widely. Some submissions are so well written that they require a spellcheck and the stat macros and are good to go. Some, such as "Road Rage Rampage", are good ideas but somewhat poorly worded and have to be almost completely re-written before use, which requires at least some creative writing effort on our part :wink:

Ok, thanks for clarifying that. Seems like who edited the issue is indeed worthy of listing, in giving credit where it is due. This shall be corrected.

Ballotonia

No idea yet what #113 is.

Unfree People Decides:
Test Results Deemed 'Ungood' After Global Survey

The Issue
In a worldwide survey, it has been revealed that Unfree People's population has been graded 'dim' by international comparison.

The Debate
"These results are terrible!" wails Buffy Mistletoe, a concerned teacher. "Something has to be done, and done quickly, if anyone's going to take today's youth seriously. It's high time we started to promote our gifted children; it is they who are the ones that bring us forward! The rest of today's youth shouldn't worry though, a basic education should be enough for a factory worker."
[Accept]


"This is indeed a problem, and I believe it's a result of the social inequality in Unfree People," comments Jack Love, a well-known social reformer. "It is obvious that students from different social classes will score differently in the tests. We can't condemn all these kids to a life of inferiority because of a gifted minority. Instead we should make sure that everyone can follow the lessUnfree People! Lower the teaching level, so that even the less intellectually-orientated can keep up with the class. The nerds can always teach themselves; it would be unfair to provide them with extra funds after all."
[Accept]


"This is stupid, it would ruin our nation's population of skilled workers!" says Akira Shiomi, a college professor. "There's never enough able-minded citizens for the more specialised careers. We must force our less-intelligent to learn! Get their noses right against the grindstone! Let's raise the bar a bit so even our best students have to sweat whilst learning! The others will of course be forced to learn even more to keep in touch, but that just shows them how real life works. To fund it, well, our defence budget is already too large, if you ask me."
[Accept]
The Government Position
The government has yet to formalize a position on this issue.

If you wish, you may simply dismiss this issue.

Issue by: The Corporate Oligarchy of Der Angst
Editor: Sirocco

#114
Qaaolchoura Decides:
Wipe Out Graffiti?
Government Acts
The Issue

Citizens all over Qaaolchoura have been petitioning for firmer action on public graffiti.
The Debate

1. "It's a disgrace!" declares Steffan Love, middle class and proud of it. "I can't even go downtown without seeing these hideous eyesores debasing the streets! We need to arrest the scumbags at the root of this, lock them up, and teach them a jolly good lesson! More policemen on the beat should do the ticket, even if it does require a slight augmentation in taxes!"
[Accept]

2. "I don't see what's so bad," comments Falala Mistletoe, a famous art critic. "This is urban art at it's finest. It's vibrant, colourful, and simply reeks of culture! Just look at the form displayed in this string of racist expletives! Wonderful. Simply wonderful. I think we should really be encouraging these budding Rembrandts, not putting them down! I say we legalise it, in the name of culture!"
[Accept]

The Government Position

The government is preparing to dismiss this issue.

Issue by: Gelvanie
Editor: Sirocco

Issue 103: Plague Of The Hybrids! (by Serenthis, editor: Sirocco)

The Issue

Angry farmers have taken to the streets demanding the government to act after reported sightings of strange baby seal-like dogs eating all the crops in fields.
The Debate

1. "This unholy union should never have taken place to begin with," comments Zeke McGuffin, an angry farmer. "The baby seal was never meant to mate with a dog! They eat my crops, they attack my livestock and they're breeding so quickly they're swamping the environment! We can't make a living like this! You've got to give us the funds and manpower to shoot anything that comes within a mile of our property and put an end to these freaks of nature! We must wipe these creatures out now or before you know it all we'll be eating is fish."
[Accept]

2. "We can't just destroy these creatures!" exclaimed Anne-Marie Steele, owner of Cembala's biggest safari park. "They may look ugly to you, but I think they're just beautiful. We need to study them and understand them; think of what we could learn! These wonderful beasts may be a little harmful to the environment, but think of the people who will flock to see them! It would be an educational experience! Think of the money!"
[Accept]

3. "We could always just kill off all the dogs," Hope Longbottom of the "Keep The Species Pure" foundation whispers to you in a conversation. "The baby seal is one of the many things our country is famous for; any perversion of its image reflects upon us all! We can't have their image spoilt by these ugly abominations! Just get the police to go around and kill them all and we can rest easy knowing our countryside is safe!
[Accept]

Issue 103: Plague Of The Hybrids! (by Serenthis, editor: Sirocco)

Hmmm. I wonder what the requirements are for getting that one.

Did you recently change your National Animal, was it Baby Seals before?
In your nations description I read: "baby seals are considered a delicacy".

EDIT: never mind, I figured it out. I got the issue in one of my own nations.

Ballotonia

Issue 116: Soda Sales Hits New "High"

The Issue
After waning sales, the well-established soda company 'Eckie-Ecola' has appealed to the government for the right to use powerful mind-altering drugs in their products.

The Debate
"It'll be great," says Johan King, the CEO of Eckie-Ecola. "Nice 'n' happy floating feelings all in a can, and all for just one nazg! It's not the healthiest drink I admit, but what people want to do with their bodies is their own business. If you ban this beverage, you're only denying the citizens of their right to be exposed to the true hallucenogenic experience!"
[Accept]


"This can't go ahead," argues Fleur Hamilton, a nurse at one of Eta Carinae's hospitals. "Drugs are, and always will be, one of the greatest threats to the nation's physical and mental health! My job's hard enough as it is without having the wards overrun by patients who were stupid enough to drink the damned stuff. The distribution of drugs must be strictly controlled by the government and kept for medicinal uses."
[Accept]


"If you ask me," says Melbourne Spirit, from behind a cloud of smoke. "We should just let everyone have drugs for free! If the government legalised and subsidised all these 'bad' drugs and gave 'em out to everyone, all our problems would be solved! There'd be no more drug traffickers, or thugs robbing old ladies to feed their addictions! 'Course there'd be a bit of a detrimental effect healthwise and to the drug industries, but the beauty of it all is that everyone will be too doped up to care!"
[Accept]
The Government Position
The government has yet to formalize a position on this issue.

If you wish, you may simply dismiss this issue.

Issue by: The Interplanetary Space Empire of Foe Hammer
Editor: Sirocco

Issue 118:

@@NAME@@ Decides:
Need For Speed?
The Issue

After watching the movie 'The Fast and the Belligerent', boyracers from all over @@NAME@@ have been petitioning for the abolition of speed limits.
The Debate

1. "Today's cars are safer at high speeds than ever before," argues @@RANDOMNAME@@, editor of Sports Car Monthly. "And long-distance commuters are tired of spending hours on the road just to get to the next city. Abolishing the speed limit would be great for the economy too! People would be more likely to go out and buy cars if they thought they'd be able to use them properly. It seems like such a shame to be puttering along at the speed limit in a magnificent car like the 450HP twin-turbo jaguar SX/T-7700 you know."
[Accept]

2. "Are you crazy?" cries @@RANDOMNAME@@, a road-accident victim. "We need lower speed limits on automobiles, not higher. You might as well enforce mandatory blindfolds on the road too, it'll come to the same conclusion! People's lives are at stake here! If people were made to drive at, say, no faster than fifty kilometres per hour, I would feel a lot happier walking the streets. Besides, if it takes a long time to get places via car then people might begin using mass transit for once."
[Accept]

3. "I think the current speed limits are fine, but we need better enforcement," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, the most feared traffic warden in @@NAME@@. "If we required GPS tracking devices in all vehicles, we'd ticket every single speeder, no problem. In addition, we could monitor the movements of criminals and other suspicious individuals, and vastly reduce the risk of crime, terrorism, and other subversive activity. Some say that's an invasion of privacy, but if you've done nothing wrong what's there to fear?"
[Accept]

The Government Position

The government has yet to formalize a position on this issue.

If you wish, you may simply dismiss this issue.

Issue by: The Confederation of Atlantic Rim
Editor: Sirocco

Issue 119:

@@NAME@@ Decides:
Watershed Down?
The Issue

An anonymous society of 'cinematic aficionados' have brought the debate over the proposed disposal of the watershed to your attention.
The Debate

1. "We don't need a watershed!" scoffs 'romantic-movie' buff, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I don't see why I should wait 'til way past midnight to watch my preferred film genre. It's high time that parents stopped treating their children like... well, children! If you sugar-coat these kids' lives, they'll just end up seeing everything through rose-tinted glasses - and we can't have a country filled with spoilt brats now, can we?"
[Accept]

2. "This is an endorsement of bad taste if ever I saw it," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a child-care worker. "It's just wrong to subject children to graphic violence and nudity on afternoon television like this: who knows what it might possess them to do? We've all heard stories of kids who have seen some film where someone jumped off a cliff and then gone off to have a shot themselves. We must ban all violent and salacious material from our TV screens. If only to protect the innocence of our progeny!"
[Accept]

The Government Position

The government has yet to formalize a position on this issue.

If you wish, you may simply dismiss this issue.

Issue by: The Civil Rights Bonanza States of New Cyprus
Editor: Sirocco

@@NAME@@ Officials Needled about Mandatory Vaccinations Is edited by Reppy.

Two Parties For Two Long?

The Issue
Representatives of several minor political parties have joined their voices to object to stiff ballot access requirements.

The Debate
"Two-party politics is squeezing the life out of democracy in Rialst Endai," laments Calvin Broadside, leader of the Pragmatic Radical Party. "The Liberal Conservatives and Progressive Traditionalists have a monopoly on public policy - or duopoly, whatever you want to call it. The point is that there's hardly any difference between them, and their chokehold on the electoral process lets hacks and crooks stay in office forever. Ballot access rules must be loosened so we can give the voters a truly democratic choice."
[Accept]


"People are afraid to support 'third' parties because they're afraid of seeing the 'bad guys' get elected," says Pip Winters, a ballot stastician. "But if we changed the system to allow preferential voting, where you can have your votes divvied up among your other candidates if your favourite doesn't recieve a certain number of votes, then that wouldn't be a problem. Then you could let as many parties as you wanted into the game. Deserving candidates wouldn't be harmed - they'd win! Maybe a few radicals would get through, but that just proves what a great system it is!"
[Accept]


"What ever happened to 'one man, one vote'?" asks Freddy McGuffin, chairperson of the Liberal Conservative National Committee. "Changing the rules will just let all sorts of crackpots clog up the ballot and overwhelm voters with names they don't recognise - this will draw attention and support away from legitimate candidates! How do you expect the nation to function properly if the government doesn't have public support? Oh, and by the way, the Liberal Conservative Party presents a VERY clear alternative to the destructive agenda of the Progressive Traditionalists, and I'll wallop anyone who says otherwise."
[Accept]


"Opposition parties are such a bother," muses Akira Thiesen, your chief of staff. "If we allowed as many of them to be politicians as those fools in the Pragmatic Radical Party want, it would be very hard on the tax payers - and our own position in power. If we re-wrote the election rules so that a party had to reapply for recognition every time it failed to win a certain number of votes, we could knock our opposition out of the ring for good! Hey, the voters have spoken, and they asked for us. I think that just about settles it, don't you?"
[Accept]
The Government Position
The government has yet to formalize a position on this issue.

If you wish, you may simply dismiss this issue.

Issue by: Ren yi
Editor: Siroc

Two Parties For Two Long?
<snip>
Heh, melikey this issue a lot except for the typo. :) :P

*beats his head against a nearby wall, for reasons of style.*

Bugger! :x

By the way, how long does it usually take for an issue to go through?

Forever.

Seriously, months and months. I think they are still working on the backlog from September(-ish?) last year. Ballotonia will probably know.

Issue 119:

@@NAME@@ Decides:
Watershed Down?
The Issue

An anonymous society of 'cinematic aficionados' have brought the debate over the proposed disposal of the watershed to your attention.
The Debate

1. "We don't need a watershed!" scoffs 'romantic-movie' buff, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I don't see why I should wait 'til way past midnight to watch my preferred film genre.

This is obviously a meaning of the word "watershed" of which I was previously unaware, to paraphrase Arthur Dent. I've never seen the word used outside of an environmental context before. What does it have to do with television? :? Is this some Aussie/Kiwi thing? 8)

The watershed is the hour after which adult material is allowed to be shown on TV.

Thought it must be something like that, from the context; just never heard the word used that way before. Thanks!

#121: A Uniform Plan For @@NAME@@'s Students?

The Issue

A random PTA meeting has brought the debate over school uniforms to your attention.

The Debate

"I think uniforms are great," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Education during a cabinet meeting. "They instil a sense of community within our schools and lower crime - and the pupils can go about their daily business without having to worry about being browbeaten by their classmates for not wearing the latest trainers. Rejistania simply cannot do without them. If the children don't like them, then hard cheese."


"Dude, your plan stinks," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, leader of The Students Union. "Our clothing is part of who we are; it lets us express ourselves just by passing someone in the corridor. To say we must wear these inhibiting uniforms is an affront to our personal freedom! So back off with the uniforms, dude, students should be allowed to go to school dressed however they like. Or not dressed, if that's their style."

Issue by: The Eternally Awesome Legacy of Scheelia
Editor: Sirocco


PS: Can any tell the poor non-american/british what the PTA is?

PS: Can any tell the poor non-american/british what the PTA is?

I'm thinking Parents and Teachers Association, or something like that.

Issue added!

Ballotonia

Yeah - Parent/Teacher Association

#122: Pensioners In Protest

The Issue


Falling standards at @@NAME@@'s retirement homes have prompted OAPs to take to the streets and demand better treatment.



The Debate


"There needs to be more done for the elderly," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a resident of 'This Old Man' retirement home. "We can't work to support ourselves anymore, and the pensions we get are measly. We need more benefits such as higher standards of living, free bus tickets, and a continuous supply of @@CURRENCY@@s. All it requires is a little more generosity on the part of the tax payers - after all, we fought the war for their sort."


"I'm not giving any of my hard-earned wages to a bunch of old fossils," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a devout tax payer. "If they weren't smart enough to save enough money for their later years, then why should the government pay out for them now? They had their chance and they didn't take it. If they really want money so bad, they can go out and work for it like everyone else."

Issue by: The Holy Welsh Empire of Emperor Matthuis
Editor: Sirocco

OAPs? That one I don't know.

What's with these abbreviations? Aren't they too specific?

Ballotonia

You don't know OAPs now? What is it with you people?! :P

OAP = Old Age Pensioner

Well, here are some people who don't speak english as first language. For us, all of those TLAs are really difficult to learn.

#123: Now, Vat's Food For Thought

The Issue

After recent leaps and bounds in biomedical research, scientists have revealed 'vat-grown tissue', provoking wild controversy over its possible medical - and culinary - uses.

The Debate

1. "There is absolutely nothing wrong that has been done here," claims one of the researchers, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Vat-grown cloned tissue is extremely versatile when producing organs for transplantation, and knit my booties if it's not the tastiest and most nutritionally-balanced thing around! Beats me why anyone could be against it."

2. "It's shocking and appalling that we could even consider adding vat-grown meat to the menu," says @@RANDOMNAME@@ III, the one-armed descendant of a long line of devout vegetarians. "But, on the other hand, we have been waiting for this major medical breakthrough for a long time. Imagine it - no more waiting lists for transplants! This will be of enormous benefit to the healthcare sector. I just think we should draw the line at eating the stuff."

3. "By all means, legalise vat-grown meat!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a masterchef. "Some people say that it's wrong to grow these creatures just to kill them, but that's ridiculous. Cattle breeders in other countries are doing it all the time! So get rid of this mad compulsory vegetarianism law because eating meat is not wrong. What's wrong is making them for spare bodyparts. Do I want a piece of me to have been grown? In a VAT? No. It's disgustin'. Besides, it'll raise the cost of my insurance."

4. "This is all abhorrent and aberrant!" declares @@RANDOMNAME@@, the High H'gradskas of the @@NAME@@ Unorthodox Church. "You can't just create meat. It's against God's will, and you'll find that pretty much every other religion will back me up on this one. Living things were designed to be born. Or hatched. Or germinated. And then there's mitosis of course, but that's not the point - the point is that there are some things that Men were not meant to meddle with. We should keep well away from the whole cloning business altogether."

5. "That guy has no sense of vision." says @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Demographics. "Why waste this invention on healthcare or cookery when so much more could be done! Sterilise everybody and grow new people in vats! Disease will be a thing of the past! When they break, just grow new parts! It adopts the industrial method to population management, something we've needed for a long time. And now that we finally have the right technology, I say we do it!"

Issue by: The Rogue State of Tahar Joblis
http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/page=display_nation/nation=tahar_joblis

Editor: Sirocco
http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/page=display_nation/nation=sirocco

Added:
#123: Now, Vat's Food For Thought [Tahar Joblis; ed:Sirocco]
#124: To Paint Or Not To Paint? [Aoifambia; ed:Sirocco]

Thank you Rondebosch. Do you think I should link to nations in the index of the list?

Congrats TJ!

Question though: Who's Catherine Gratwick? That name is hard-coded into issue #124, instead of it being a @@RANDOMNAME@@.

Ballotonia

A think a link to the creators is a good idea. I usually check out the nation's page the first time I get a new issue from a nation I've never heard of (which is, er, most of them :) ).

As for Catherine Gratwick...I have no idea (not that you were asking me, specifically). My skills lie more with acronyms than names that Google doesn't find decent references to. :?

I have to disagree with links - some of these people get enough telegrams as it is.

NationStates

National Flag
Marama Decides:
Outsourcing An Outrage, Say Demonstators
The Issue

As the nation's unemployment rate skyrockets, citizens have staged a massive protest against corporations outsourcing jobs to poorer nations to take advantage of the lax regulations and cheap labour.
The Debate

1. "This is unacceptable!" decrees Miranda Hanover, outspoken representative of the National Union of Telephone-based Salesmen. "Sixteen call-centres round the country have already closed because they found they could get cheaper workers in some country no-one's ever heard of! If businesses are allowed to pack up shop and ship jobs out to other countries, our own people will be unemployed and out on the streets. The government must ban this evil corporate practice immediately!"
[Accept]

2. "Nonsense!" scoffs Colin Hamilton, manager of human resources at Ekin, a popular sportswear company. "Outsourcing jobs to where the labour is cheap means we can slash costs. That means we can have lower prices for the good consumers - uh - citizens of Marama. There's plenty of other jobs besides factory-working you know, and with the influx of cheaper products they really shouldn't have anything to complain about."
[Accept]

3. "The only reason that companies are so unwilling to stay here is because of the constricting regulations," says Buffy Frederickson, a ridiculously wealthy businessman. "Everytime my company tries to make a decision, we run up against about a million laws forbidding us from our ventures. Since when has making money been a crime? Allow more economic freedom and companies will be simply flocking to this country. The workers will suffer a bit from losing minimum wage laws, of course, but that's progress for you."
[Accept]

The Government Position

The government is preparing to dismiss this issue.

Issue by: The United Conservative States of Enerica
Editor: Sirocco

To follow one of the recommendations above, simply click on the link. The Marama government will bring in the new law overnight.

Visit the Jennifer Government web site

duplicate post

triplicate post

I have to disagree with links - some of these people get enough telegrams as it is.
But the issue pages have links anyway. Would it make that much of a difference?

It's all to do with people looking at this thread and then clicking the link to telegram people about their issues... people don't usually bother if they have to search on the world page first.

I see your point, although I'm still not sure it would be that big of a deal. Also, there are easier ways to view a nation page then going to the hassle of searching for it, as I'm sure you know.

I presume, though that you get lots of spam(ish) telegrams from this forum, so I'll accept that it could be a problem. I then just don't understand why there is a link on an actual issue's page, as I would think that would be even more tempting, as you're faced with making the decision right there and then, and would more likely want creator input at that point to help you make a decision, than if you're just reading a thread on the forum.

Or maybe that's just the sane person's way of looking at it. LOL.

[Edit - oops, before I get flamed, that last line wasn't a dig at Sirocco.]

It's all to do with people looking at this thread and then clicking the link to telegram people about their issues... people don't usually bother if they have to search on the world page first.

Ok, how about I just link to the editors then?

Muahahahaha!!!! :P

Ok, ok, no links it is.

Ballotonia

You know...maybe that's what this was about all along. It had nothing to do with the issue writers getting telegrams. It think Sirocco just didn't want more spam... :wink:

Ok, how about I just link to the editors then?

Muahahahaha!!!! :P


Good luck linking to the editor's nation for the first thirty or so :P

Oooh. Don't provoke Ballotonia, or the first thirty may suddenly end up being attributed to "Hack".

Actually, methinks they should be linked to Max Barry's personal web site, to send him some more traffic.

Heh... personally, I think a colour code to show the editors would be interesting. Black for Max Barry, etc...

Heh... personally, I think a colour code to show the editors would be interesting. Black for Max Barry, etc...
Yes, but then everyone would be fighting over the cool colours, like red and blue (may I reserve that for the future?), and no one would want yellow.

#126: Outsourcing An Outrage, Say Demonstators

Issue by: Enerica
Editor: Sirocco

The Issue

As the nation's unemployment rate skyrockets, citizens have staged a massive protest against corporations outsourcing jobs to poorer nations to take advantage of the lax regulations and cheap labour.

The Debate

1. "This is unacceptable!" decrees @@RANDOMNAME@@, outspoken representative of the National Union of Telephone-based Salesmen. "Sixteen call-centres round the country have already closed because they found they could get cheaper workers in some country no-one's ever heard of! If businesses are allowed to pack up shop and ship jobs out to other countries, our own people will be unemployed and out on the streets. The government must ban this evil corporate practice immediately!"

2. "Nonsense!" scoffs @@RANDOMNAME@@, manager of human resources at Ekin, a popular sportswear company. "Outsourcing jobs to where the labour is cheap means we can slash costs. That means we can have lower prices for the good consumers - uh - citizens of @@NAME@@. There's plenty of other jobs besides factory-working you know, and with the influx of cheaper products they really shouldn't have anything to complain about."

3. "The only reason that companies are so unwilling to stay here is because of the constricting regulations," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a ridiculously wealthy businessman. "Everytime my company tries to make a decision, we run up against about a million laws forbidding us from our ventures. Since when has making money been a crime? Allow more economic freedom and companies will be simply flocking to this country. The workers will suffer a bit from losing minimum wage laws, of course, but that's progress for you."

#127: Aging Concerns in @@NAME@@
Issue by Sirocco
Edited by Reploid Productions

The Issue

Fears about the aging population in @@NAME@@ have been raised after it was discovered that nearly a fifth of the population is over 65 years of age and becoming a serious drain on pension funds everywhere.

The Debate

1. "We're going to run out of working age citizens if we don't act fast!" warns @@RANDOMNAME@@, a government statician. "Birth rates are down, death rates are down, and the amount of budget spent on pensions has doubled in the last twenty years! We need to put an end to this, quickly and without delay: we must kill off all the people too old to work anymore... well except for government officials like you and me of course..."

2. "I can't believe I'm hearing this!" yells @@RANDOMNAME@@, a wizened octogenerian. "We have our rights! You can't do that to us! What utter rubbish about our pensions! I can hardly survive on the paltry number of @@CURRENCY@@s I get each week! If anything, we should get more money! If you're so worried about low death rates, then just cut the healthcare budget to make up for the loss!"

3. "Woah, woah! Talk about hasty decisions here, man," says Kool Kal, one of your more hip advisors. "Just increase the working age to say... ninety-five years old? Then the number of people eligible for a pension is like, dramatically reduced, man. Why? It's 'cos most of them'll be like, six feet under, dude!" He high-fives you. "Funny, ain't it, man?"

Issue 129:
Tribal Troubles
The Issue

A society of primitive natives have been discovered in the rainforests of Sekot. Various people have approached you with ideas on how the situation should be dealt with.
The Debate

1. "This society should be protected from us!" says anthropologist and Star Trek nut, Elizabeth Summers. "Have you ever heard of the prime directive? We must protect cultures from damaging modern influence! It is not our right to go and change the way these people live. Let them be."
[Accept]

2. "Who says we need to 'preserve' these tribes?" asks Timothy Burre, CEO of 'Loggers & Lumberjacks'. "We should be developing them instead. The local area should be opened up to big business and corporate interests - think of the benefits it will bring to the indigenous people! Medicine, education and modern wonders like the expresso machine! It's time these people were dragged kicking and screaming into the modern world, whether they like it or not."
[Accept]

3. "These savages are disgraceful," says Roger Steele, a senior member of the NRA. "I don't see why we should stoop so low as to do business with them. If they're on land we want then we should just take it. It's not even as if it's theirs after all, they just happen to be living there. These people are no better than animals, I say we allow citizens to shoot the lot of them! It'll knock down two birds with one stone!"
[Accept]

4. "The matter is not what we do to this culture, it is whether or not the people who belong to this culture actually want to be a part of that culture!" says Fleur King, a student sociologist. "We must stop knocking down rainforests so that the older members of the tribes can stay, yet allow the younger and more idealistic members leave if they wish and join civilisation! Let us make contact and give them the choice! Everyone wins! Except the wood companies o' course."
[Accept]

The Government Position

The government has yet to formalize a position on this issue.

If you wish, you may simply dismiss this issue.

Issue by: Olasonph
Editor: Sirocco

I remember that one! (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=102144)

I wonder how much was changed by the writer, and how much was changed by the editor...

Issue #128


Qaaolchoura Decides:
Ban the Burka?
Government Acts
The Issue

Schools are considering banning all signs of religious affliation to "promote unity amongst students". Minority groups and civil rights activists have expressed their outrage in protests outside the Qaaolchoura Parliament.
The Debate

1. Minister for Public Unity and General Goodwill, Aaron Summers, has supported the claim, "This move will encourage students from different cultural and religious backgrounds to mix more freely. Removed of any symbols of difference, barriers of cultural otherness with be transcended and all will feel a sense of shared nationhood, which is what state schools should be encouraging. Social equality is what we're aiming for here. Not controversy."
[Accept]

2. "This is an outrageous proposition!" says shopkeeper Fleur King. "Everyone should have the right to follow their religion. I organise my store in strict terms of religious and cultural preferences. A Kosher section for the Jews, a "Fish on Fridays" freezer for the Catholics and a vegan section way on the other side of the shop, away from the meat counter for those bald people in the orange robes. Freedom and diversity is what makes our nation great, and if everyone feels that this means they shouldn't integrate then so be it!"
[Accept]

3. "Who needs religion anyway?" asks Steffan Dredd, Professor of Biology at Qaaolchoura University of Science. "Our nation is swamped in the mumbo-jumbo spouted by these money hungry crackpot evangelists. I say the people should be spared from these wacko delusions of gods and demons. ALL symbols of religion should be removed from ALL public spaces! Now that's what I call freedom."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

The Government Position

The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 3.

If you wish, you may simply dismiss this issue.

Issue by: The Fiefdom of Much Benham
Editor: Sirocco

To follow one of the recommendations above, simply click on the link. The Qaaolchoura government will bring in the new law overnight.

#131: Raise Duel Standards, Say Fencers

The Issue

A number of well-dressed gentlemen wearing a varied assortment of swords is insisting that they be allowed to settle their private disputes on the field of honourable battle.

The Debate

1. "We must be permitted our inherent right to defend our honour through feats of arms!" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, a bewigged aristocrat sporting a particularly flamboyant swept-hilt rapier. "The right to duel is one found throughout history for the honourable settling of disputes and I must insist that my right to fight be recognised! The world would be so much better - and cheaper too - if conflicts of interest were sorted through trial by combat instead of trial by jury."
[Accept]

2. "Swords? Heavens, what dreadful things. All sharp and pointy - quite dangerous, you know," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, an ardent pacifist. "The things ought to be banned! The best way to settle these kind of arguments are through trials, we all know that. If we go ahead with what these duelling nutters want then innocent people will die! It will be a sad day when people value money more than justice. Apart from lawyers, obviously."
[Accept]
Issue by: The Fiefdom of The Gaelic Freedmen Editor: Sirocco

Actually:
#131: Raise Duel Standards, Say Fencers [The Gaelic Freedmen; ed:Sirocco]
#132: Raise Duel Standards, Say Fencers [The Gaelic Freedmen; ed:Sirocco]

This issue ended up in the line-up twice. Question is, was this an error or are there subtle differences?

Ballotonia

I think it's just a double-issue. I haven't found any difference between them from reading both issues.

Does this mean that countries are twice as likely to get this issue than normal?

Ooh, bugger. How did that happen? :shock:

[violet] has been informed, thanks. :?

all i know is i got two of "Raise Duel Standards, Say Fencers" on the same day

Yeah, one of them's been disabled until [violet] an find out what went wrong and fix it.

Same problem again:

#133: When @@ANIMAL@@s attack! [The Class A Cows; ed:Sirocco]
#134: When @@ANIMAL@@s attack! [The Class A Cows; ed:Sirocco]

Admittedly, this is a good way to get more issues quickly...

Ballotonia

:shock:

Damn, I thought it had been an error on my part... this is going to be very embarrassing... :(

:shock:

Damn, I thought it had been an error on my part... this is going to be very embarrassing... :(
Ooh ohh, can you do my grammar Nazi Issue while the bug's still here Siro? :P :twisted:

Will any other issues be doubled up?

Read the announcement.

yea i recived the whole hing about the stupid kids gambiling and i was wondering what it will do to my economy if i say that they can?

Issue #135(notes: Hakuryuu=name of one of my other nations, dracons=currency):

Hakuryuu Decides:
A Taxing Dilemma

The Issue
Citizens staged a mass protest against 'monolithic' tax rates after the government recently instituted the 'Anything That's Purple' tax.

The Debate
"The tax situation in Hakuryuu is ridiculous," says Elizabeth Nagasawa at the protest. "The taxes keep getting piled on and yet - I haste to add - the government doesn't seem to realise that with a 100% tax rate, they already have all our money! We've been reduced to bartering for goodness sake! I haven't seen a dracon in years! It's bad for Hakuryuu, but more importantly, it's bad for business. We must take huge cuts out of the government budget. Even if it does mean less education, healthcare, and whatnot."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.


"You can't!" cries Konrad Hamilton, the National Treasurer. "They don't seem to realise that if we cut taxes, it will drastically underfund our public services! All our environmental work, our education system, our healthcare system - all will go kaput! Hakuryuu depends on these taxes, we need the money! Don't let the people fritter it away on luxuries, 'cos they'll soon be complaining about there not being enough policemen on the beat. We'll tax the shirts off their backs and they'll be damn well happy about it!"
[Accept]

#140: A Grave Problem

The Issue
As cemetaries across Palauu are beginning to reach their full capacities, citizens are demanding that the government step in to rectify the situation before the bodies start to pile up.

The Debate
"The expansion of cemetaries must end if the remaining government land is to benefit the economy," says the Minister of Death, Chastity Bush. "What I propose is that we declare all graves over, say, ten years old, as vacant. And then dump a new corpse in it. Hey, nobody objects to sharing a university dormitory with another person, why should they object to sharing their grave?"


"Burial plots are so expensive these days, few people are opting for them anyway," says Retirement Home owner, Lars Steele. "Let's just go for that final push and make cremation compulsory. Some people may not be happy with it, but when you get right down to it, it's only setting fire to their loved ones against their will - you must agree that that's less important than expanding suburban development."


"This is horrendous," says Hack Silk, whose partner recently passed away. "Whatever happened to choice? When my Henry died, he was promised an eternal resting place; a place where his name would stand and he would be remembered. Having it disturbed by 'newcomers' or enforcing cremation is a slur against him and the rest of Palauu's deceased citizens! If you have any compassion in your soul, then you'll acknowledge a grave as being a sacrosanct area. The dead must be allowed to rest in peace."


"Burying and cremating the dead is such a waste..." says Roxanne du Pont, head of the Research Department at the McRonald's chain of fast-food restaurants. "They should be recycled for the benefit of the nation! We'll pay the families a little something for their loss, then mince up the bodies and put them in our burgers! I can't see any downsides, can you? It'd save space, recompensate the grieving, and supply everyone with a tasty snack!"


Issue by: The Democratic Republic of Eta Carinae
Editor: Sirocco
Co-Editor: Myrth :mrgreen:

#136: Much Ado About Abortion

The Issue
A monstrous debate between pro-life groups and pro-choice groups has erupted as a Kaskalherria citizen launches an high-court appeal to overturn an ancient law prohibiting all abortions. Pressure groups have demanded the government step in to make a ruling.

The Debate
Bianca Dodinas, lawyer for the woman known only as Miss X, says, "It is Miss X's right to choose! It's her body; she can do whatever she wants with it. In the interest of women's rights, abortion MUST be legalised throughout the country!'




"I most vehemently disagree," says Clint Fellow, a pro-life activist. "I'm all for women's rights in general, but what about the child? Does it have no rights either? Abortion is totally immoral an I insist that we outlaw abortion except in cases of rape, or when the mother's life is in danger."



"You're not going far enough! Abortion is murder!" shouts Reverend Buy Licorish, waving a placard with a picture of a foetus on it. "God decides which babies live and which will die, not us! The government must maintain a stern anti-abortion stance to preserve the morality of Kaskalherria!"



"Abortion has to be legal if we're going to last as a nation," says Steffan King, President of the Society of Bitter Old People. "Have you ever thought that with Kaskalherria's growing population of 1603 million, we soon aren't going to be able to squeeze any more people within our borders? If we use abortion to control the population, we'll make great savings and can spend the money elsewhere. One child per family should just about do it I think. Extraneous ones can be sold to other countries."


Issue by: The Republic of Aquilla
Editor: Sirocco
And Co-Editor: Myrth :P

#140 and #136 co-edited by me 8)

#137: Arms Industry Demands Respect

The Issue
Representatives of Bilabao's arms manufacturing industry have expressed outrage over the lack of public and private support for their sector.

The Debate
Interviewed by the industry's trade journal 'Our Weapons, Your Victory', the CEO of Bilabao Arms Inc, Melbourne Rifkin, said: "It is shameful the way we have been treated over the last few years! Shameful! Our workers, and I tell you we have a great many of them, can barely get to work thanks to disruption by protestors and all that hippie nonsense. And as for this dangerous talk of 'Ethical Trade Practices', I say we need full government recognition of our vital contribution to the economy - relaxation of trade barriers, gun laws, and a crackdown on all these long-haired weirdos who try to shut us down!"


"We have a right to protest against this evil business!" screams Jennifer Longfellow through a megaphone. "The arms manufacturing industry is a stain on our nation's character and must be removed. How can we make money from the production of these evil weapons; how can we stand by and profit from the blood spilled by these abominations? The government must take a stand and outlaw the whole sector!"



Your Minister of Trade advises taking a middle ground: "We can't ban arms sales without harming the quality of our military and police departments, not to mention the economy. These hippies do have a point though - guns are terrible things in the wrong hands. We should implement additional safety checks on the groups to which the weapons get sold. That way we don't lose too many sales, and the people are persuaded we are making a stand against nations who use the weapons for immoral ends. The arms industry get to sell their guns and the protesters get to protest. Everybody wins!"



Issue by: The Worryingly Militant Republic of Koternacht
Editor: Sirocco


Myrth, did you co-edit this one, too? :)

#141: Police Too Pushy?

The Issue
A group of 'concerned compatriots' (Citizens Raging Against the Police) have protested against the enormous numbers of policemen enforcing the law on their daily lives.

The Debate
"I'm constantly surrounded by over-zealous policemen!" deplores Violet King, a spokesman for the group. "Just last week I was arrested for letting my baby cry too loudly in public! This is ridiculous! The government needs to cut back the police force and let citizens get on with their lives without interference! If that means allowing muggers, thieves, burglars, pickpockets, murderers and all the rest to not have coppers breathing down the back of their necks constantly then so be it! This really is too much!"


"You can't listen to what they're saying!" gasps Police Chief Thomas McAlpin, horrified. "These nuts would have us living in utter anarchy! If some robbers suddenly decide to break into a shop and steal everything, what's the owner going to do? What could anyone do without a well-funded police force? There has to be justice and law or we'd be nothing better than a bunch of savages. Stick to your guns, I say, and let me arrest these subversives - people need to be taught to show some respect!"


Issue by: The Socialist Superiority of Myrth
Editor: Sirocco

An Archaeological Altercation

The Issue
During the construction of a new Hyper-Mega-Ultra-Super Mall, construction workers have unearthed what appears to be an ancient temple. A furious debate has arisen between those who wish to preserve it, and those who need their retail therapy.

The Debate
"This is the perfect opportunity to learn more of our nations history!" says Professor Hack Spirit, head of the archaeological department of The @@NAME@@ History Museum. "All building work must be halted immediately so that my team can study this remarkable piece of our nation's past. To bury these ruins under some concrete eyesore would be criminal!"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.


"It's all very nice to get to know some more about our past," argues foreman Roxanne Summers. "But that's just the thing! It's the past! We must think of the future. If you allow those decrepit fossils to take over this place, you put at risk the future of our economy! Today it's archaeological digs, tomorrow it's 'preservation of the environment'. Just let me bulldoze the worthless pile of rubble and bury it under a few hundred tonnes of concrete."
[Accept]


"Behold, the hour has arrived! The Holy Temple of Firefury Amahira has been unearthed!" proclaims Yon-Zhauryg v'Klot, leader of the Cult of the Undead guardian. "This land is sacred, and must not be befouled by these corporations! No-one but the enlightened children of Firefury must be allowed to venture inside our refound sanctuary, where we will perform the required rituals to please the Great Goddess and prevent Her from unleashing Her wrath upon the world."
[Accept]
The Government Position
The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 1.

If you wish, you may simply dismiss this issue.

Issue by: The Free Land of Fiscali
Editor: Sirocco

#140 and #136 co-edited by me 8)

Forum mods can (co) edit issues? I had figured that would require Game Mod Center access.

Adding now:
#135: A Taxing Dilemma [Claraxia; ed:Sirocco]
#136: Much Ado About Abortion [Aquilla; ed:Sirocco]
#137: Arms Industry Demands Respect [Koternacht; ed:Sirocco]
#138: Keep The Greenbelt Green, Say Protesters [Big-yellow-taxi; ed:Sirocco]
#139: Drug Debate Hits The Streets [Docere; ed:Sirocco]
#140: A Grave Problem [Eta Carinae; ed:Sirocco]
#141: Police Too Pushy? [Myrth; ed:Sirocco]
#142: Roads like Rollercoasters, Complain Motorists [Mirkai; ed:Sirocco]
#143: An Archaeological Altercation [Fiscali; ed:Sirocco]

Sorry Myrth, not adding co-editors cause, well, the system doesn't list them either :P (I'd hate to see mods bicker and fight over who did what :D )

EDIT: I'm getting close to running out of space in those first few posts. Soon I'll have to start a new thread! :shock:

Ballotonia

#140 and #136 co-edited by me 8)

Forum mods can (co) edit issues? I had figured that would require Game Mod Center access.

Sirocco goes in and grabs me an issue, I edit the text, put in the game code and send it back. He then fixes up the game code (forum mods can't see nations' stats, so it's difficult to determine what issues should affect) and puts it in the game :D


EDIT: I'm getting close to running out of space in those first few posts. Soon I'll have to start a new thread! :shock:

Ballotonia

Try and hold off until the move to Jolt, then you can put another post in and I can split this topic, then merge it around the other post.

Tactical Grace co-edited a few as well. I'm pretty much the only Game Mod left willing to edit issues, and Myrth and TG both showed interest. So I gave them a couple of issues for practice and then re-edit what they send back. Myrth's hit-and-miss spelling included. :P

Tactical Grace co-edited a few as well. I'm pretty much the only Game Mod left willing to edit issues, and Myrth and TG both showed interest. So I gave them a couple of issues for practice and then re-edit what they send back. Myrth's hit-and-miss spelling included. :P

#144: Democracy Going To The Dogs? (Libertarian haven, ed: Sirocco)

After a recent election instated a small dog as member of parliament, the fringe group "Brains for Ballots" has demanded for the government to tighten voting restrictions.

"The ignorant have taken over Abysmalistan," yells @@RANDOMNAME@@, from atop a soap box podium. "It is time that the intelligent retake the polls! Mr. 'Scruffy' is a disgrace to democracy and should be taken out of office instantly! I propose we issue mandatory I.Q. tests for every voting citizen and if they are found to have below average reasoning ability - namely lacking the foresight to see that electing an inanimate object to office will cause disaster - then they shall be excused from the responsibility of voting."

"Umm... huh?" inquires village idiot, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I voted? When? Oh, yeah. Please don't make me not vote. The ballots are really tasty, and where else would I get my fibre? Everyone should have the right to vote, no matter what their favourite greenhouse is! Then we can all get the government to do what we want! First thing I think we should do is, uh, ban fruit? I hate fruit."

@@RANDOMNAME@@: Combination (2365) of random first and random last name. Possibilities are:
First names, 55: Aaron, Abraham, Akira, Al, Alexei, Anne-Marie, Beth, Bianca, Bill, Billy, Billy-Bob, Buffy, Buy, Calvin, Charles, Chastity, Clint, Colin, Dave, Elizabeth, Faith, Falala, Fleur, Freddy, George W., Gregory, Hack, Hope, Jack, Jazz, Jean-Paul, Jennifer, Johan, Klaus, Konrad, Lars, Max, May, Melbourne, Miranda, Naki, Peggy, Pete, Pip, Prudence, Randy, Roger, Roxanne, Steffan, Stephanie, Sue-Ann, Thomas, Tobias, Violet, Zeke.


:shock: IT IS A MOD CONSPIRACY :shock:

Are any mods reading and coding submitted issues?

I still am, and I've been pressuring Melkor into it too. :P

I've got three ready for release, but I can't put them through yet. [violet] turned the button that lets me do that off while the site was moving and hasn't turned it on again yet.

I need a Mod or an Admin. :mp5: You see I messed up on this propsal and I do not know were to go or how to get help. :headbang: I need to change outlaw to leagalize.

What is this Easter Egg wizardry you speak of? I have about 20 puppets and I have not seen the lever issue, ever. How does one get it?

a new issue, number 147


spoiler below ;)


Military Budgets Up For Approval

The Issue
The various branches of Heinekenbier's military brought their budget petitions to your attention and, as usual, they are all asking for widespread increases over the rest of the military departments.

The Debate
"Clearly the army requires the greatest increase in funds this year," says Field Marshal Randy Licorish. "After all, wars were never won by air or sea and in this dangerous world we must be able to protect the interests of Heinekenbier. Currently our men get hand-me-down weapons, rations I wouldn't feed a pig - the army is increasingly looking like a bad career option and we can't have that. If we're going to get recruits, we need more funding to support our brave lads in their duty."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.


"Hah! It's the Navy who needs the money, mate," says Grand Admiral Pip Jones. "The army and the police forces can protect us domestically, but can they protect us from having our foreign trade cut off? Can they protect us from terrorists and pirates? How are the soldiers going to get to the enemy's borders? Swim? I think not. Fund us, the Navy, the true protectors of Heinekenbier!"


"Despite the statements of my colleagues," says Pete Steele, Marshal of the Air Force. "The Air Force requires more money than these men playing around with boats. We are increasingly seeing terrorists taking to the air, and more ships or guns are not going to stop that. Our people will only be safe when the Air Force has the power it needs to defend us - and for that we need more funding and more government support for industries geared towards the development of new aircraft."


"You're all thinking too small!" exclaims Faith Hanover, an avid Star Wars fan. "What we need is more research into the possibilities of space weapons! Big laser cannon and satellites with complete annihilation power! And cool spaceships! Boom! Rat-a-tata! Bang! Bang! It'll be expensive, sure, but think of the power! THE POWER!"


"It's simply not good enough!" wails Abraham Hamilton, the Minister of Defence. "It's not about the money - it's the manpower. Not enough people by far are signing up! All we seem to be getting nowadays are drunks and people who volunteered for a dare. The current conscription laws need to be either more strictly enforced or drastically rewritten. What I propose is a universal draft: everyone capable of pulling a trigger should become a part of the Army, Navy or Air Force. Only in this way can we ensure the dominance of Heinekenbier in the region."


"The military is a stain on the peace-loving nature of our nation!" cries Anne-Marie Li, while sporting a Rastifarian hat. "People should be allowed to choose what they do for a living! Conscription is wrong and I don't see why our tax flessendops should go to such a despicable cause! The money should be going to more important places - like our pockets!"

Issue by: Greater philadelphia
Editor: Sirocco

#145: Issue: Hackles Raised Over Fur Clothes Debate


The Issue



Several animal rights groups have protested the continuing use of fur as a material for clothing.



The Debate


"This is an outrage!" cries George W. Jones, president of the Be Nice To Animals society. "The manufacture of fur apparel is unethical, cruel, and disgusting! People just don't seem to realise that millions of animals die each year in fur farms, crammed into tiny cages and suffering the most terrible treatment just so someone can look appealing and rich! This is a sick practice and must be stopped! The same can go for leather shoes and snakeskin belts too."
[Accept]


"You can't mean that, surely?" snorts Hope Utopia, adjusting his hat, made from real hedgehog hide. "It's the people's choice what they wear. I don't think it's fair that the majority of the public should be deprived of fur clothes because some people are a bit queasy. In fact, if the government would allow us to stock rarer animals, we could produce even finer products. In the end, it's up to the consumer, don't you think?"
[Accept]

Issue by: The People's Republic of Naturhio
Editor: Sirocco

#128: Ban the Burka? [Much benham; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
Schools are considering banning all signs of religious affliation to "promote unity amongst students". Minority groups and civil rights activists have expressed their outrage in protests outside the @@NAME@@ Parliament.

The Debate
1. Minister for Public Unity and General Goodwill, @@RANDOMNAME@@, has supported the claim, "This move will encourage students from different cultural and religious backgrounds to mix more freely. Removed of any symbols of difference, barriers of cultural otherness with be transcended and all will feel a sense of shared nationhood, which is what state schools should be encouraging. Social equality is what we're aiming for here. Not controversy."

2. "This is an outrageous proposition!" says shopkeeper @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Everyone should have the right to follow their religion. I organise my store in strict terms of religious and cultural preferences. A Kosher section for the Jews, a "Fish on Fridays" freezer for the Catholics and a vegan section way on the other side of the shop, away from the meat counter for those bald people in the orange robes. Freedom and diversity is what makes our nation great, and if everyone feels that this means they shouldn't integrate then so be it!"

3. "Who needs religion anyway?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, Professor of Biology at @@NAME@@ University of Science. "Our nation is swamped in the mumbo-jumbo spouted by these money hungry crackpot evangelists. I say the people should be spared from these wacko delusions of gods and demons. ALL symbols of religion should be removed from ALL public spaces! Now that's what I call freedom."

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#129: Tribal Troubles [Olasonph; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
A society of primitive natives have been discovered in the rainforests of @@NAME@@. Various people have approached you with ideas on how the situation should be dealt with.

The Debate
1. "This society should be protected from us!" says anthropologist and Star Trek nut, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Have you ever heard of the prime directive? We must protect cultures from damaging modern influence! It is not our right to go and change the way these people live. Let them be."

2. "Who says we need to 'preserve' these tribes?" asks Timothy Burre, CEO of 'Loggers & Lumberjacks'. "We should be developing them instead. The local area should be opened up to big business and corporate interests - think of the benefits it will bring to the indigenous people! Medicine, education and modern wonders like the expresso machine! It's time these people were dragged kicking and screaming into the modern world, whether they like it or not."

3. "These savages are disgraceful," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a senior member of the NRA. "I don't see why we should stoop so low as to do business with them. If they're on land we want then we should just take it. It's not even as if it's theirs after all, they just happen to be living there. These people are no better than animals, I say we allow citizens to shoot the lot of them! It'll knock down two birds with one stone!"

4. "The matter is not what we do to this culture, it is whether or not the people who belong to this culture actually want to be a part of that culture!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a student sociologist. "We must stop knocking down rainforests so that the older members of the tribes can stay, yet allow the younger and more idealistic members leave if they wish and join civilisation! Let us make contact and give them the choice! Everyone wins! Except the wood companies o' course."

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#130: Filibuster Bust-up [The kennedy family; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
Several aged politicians have joined forces to filibuster a piece of majority-approved legislation to death. They've been orating non-stop throughout 3 days worth of debating time, stopping the legislation from being passed.

The Debate
1. "This sham of a tactic is totally demolishing our ability to accomplish anything!" complains @@RANDOMNAME@@, Minister of Ministries. "Who cares if a few old fossils fail to see reason? The majority of the government clearly wants this legislature to pass! Just set a limit on the time a person can speak for; this really is demeaning to the democratic process!"

2. While taking a bathroom break before moving on to read aloud from the phonebook, @@RANDOMNAME@@ states: "It is a great thing for the minority and the oppressed that our system of government allows the filibuster to be utilised to harness the majority! Let the hills, the mountains, and the valleys reverberate with the sounds of our voices! We will not surrender to this repugnant legislation."

3. "The filibuster is not enough to protect the minority, since they too afraid of the tyrannical majority to use it," says political commentator, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I suggest that all legislation must require a unanimous vote before it can pass. That way, nobody goes away unhappy."

4. "Why do we need to debate legislature anyway?" questions @@RANDOMNAME@@, your Minister of Alternative Solutions, who also happens to be the best friend of your distant cousin. "Everything would be so much more simple if we just decide what to do, and do it. After all, we're the ones who know what's best for @@NAME@@. If the minority parties want to say something, they can submit it in writing."

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#131: Raise Duel Standards, Say Fencers [The Gaelic Freedmen; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
A number of well-dressed gentlemen wearing a varied assortment of swords is insisting that they be allowed to settle their private disputes on the field of honourable battle.

The Debate
1. "We must be permitted our inherent right to defend our honour through feats of arms!" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, a bewigged aristocrat sporting a particularly flamboyant swept-hilt rapier. "The right to duel is one found throughout history for the honourable settling of disputes and I must insist that my right to fight be recognised! The world would be so much better - and cheaper too - if conflicts of interest were sorted through trial by combat instead of trial by jury."

2. "Swords? Heavens, what dreadful things. All sharp and pointy - quite dangerous, you know," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, an ardent pacifist. "The things ought to be banned! The best way to settle these kind of arguments are through trials, we all know that. If we go ahead with what these duelling nutters want then innocent people will die! It will be a sad day when people value money more than justice. Apart from lawyers, obviously."

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#132: Raise Duel Standards, Say Fencers [The Gaelic Freedmen; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
A number of well-dressed gentlemen wearing a varied assortment of swords is insisting that they be allowed to settle their private disputes on the field of honourable battle.

The Debate
1. "We must be permitted our inherent right to defend our honour through feats of arms!" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, a bewigged aristocrat sporting a particularly flamboyant swept-hilt rapier. "The right to duel is one found throughout history for the honourable settling of disputes and I must insist that my right to fight be recognised! The world would be so much better - and cheaper too - if conflicts of interest were sorted through trial by combat instead of trial by jury."

2. "Swords? Heavens, what dreadful things. All sharp and pointy - quite dangerous, you know," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, an ardent pacifist. "The things ought to be banned! The best way to settle these kind of arguments are through trials, we all know that. If we go ahead with what these duelling nutters want then innocent people will die! It will be a sad day when people value money more than justice. Apart from lawyers, obviously."

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#133: When @@ANIMAL@@s attack! [The Class A Cows; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
After several reports of pet @@ANIMAL@@s violently attacking, injuring, and even killing citizens, there has been growing pressure from public safety activists for the government to take action.

The Debate
1. "These creatures are a danger to the public and must be destroyed!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, representative of the Public Institution for Social Safety, Equality, and Direction. "I was attacked by one just on the way here and I nearly lost my life! They're a public menace. We must shoot and burn them!"

2. "Why punish the poor things?" asks animal-lover @@RANDOMNAME@@, covered in scars from previous encounters with @@ANIMAL@@s. "All they need is good hands to care and rehabilitate them. We need a government education programme to tame them and turn them into loveable pets. The one I'm holding right now shows that it can be done. They are all good, kind creatures deep d- argh!"

3. "I agree that we shouldn't kill them," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a famous lawyer. "But I don't think the owner should get away with breaking the law! This is clearly a case of 'intent to greviously harm' if I ever saw it. All citizens should be held accountable of their pet's actions as if they had done the act themselves. It's the only way to be fair - after all, they're just dumb animals."

4. "Who cares!?" screams @@RANDOMNAME@@ as he sends out his pirate radio station broadcast. "Just repeal any laws preventing us from shooting the things when they attack and we'll be able to save ourselves without this stupid, authoritarian, overbearing government and legal system wasting our tax money!"

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#134: When @@ANIMAL@@s attack! [The Class A Cows; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
After several reports of pet @@ANIMAL@@s violently attacking, injuring, and even killing citizens, there has been growing pressure from public safety activists for the government to take action.

The Debate
1. "These creatures are a danger to the public and must be destroyed!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, representative of the Public Institution for Social Safety, Equality, and Direction. "I was attacked by one just on the way here and I nearly lost my life! They're a public menace. We must shoot and burn them!"

2. "Why punish the poor things?" asks animal-lover @@RANDOMNAME@@, covered in scars from previous encounters with @@ANIMAL@@s. "All they need is good hands to care and rehabilitate them. We need a government education programme to tame them and turn them into loveable pets. The one I'm holding right now shows that it can be done. They are all good, kind creatures deep d- argh!"

3. "I agree that we shouldn't kill them," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a famous lawyer. "But I don't think the owner should get away with breaking the law! This is clearly a case of 'intent to greviously harm' if I ever saw it. All citizens should be held accountable of their pet's actions as if they had done the act themselves. It's the only way to be fair - after all, they're just dumb animals."

4. "Who cares!?" screams @@RANDOMNAME@@ as he sends out his pirate radio station broadcast. "Just repeal any laws preventing us from shooting the things when they attack and we'll be able to save ourselves without this stupid, authoritarian, overbearing government and legal system wasting our tax money!"

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#135: A Taxing Dilemma [Claraxia; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
Citizens staged a mass protest against 'monolithic' tax rates after the government recently instituted the 'Anything That's Purple' tax.

The Debate
1. "The tax situation in @@NAME@@ is ridiculous," says @@RANDOMNAME@@ at the protest. "The taxes keep getting piled on and yet - I haste to add - the government doesn't seem to realise that with a 100% tax rate, they already have all our money! We've been reduced to bartering for goodness sake! I haven't seen a @@CURRENCY@@ in years! It's bad for @@NAME@@, but more importantly, it's bad for business. We must take huge cuts out of the government budget. Even if it does mean less education, healthcare, and whatnot."

2. "You can't!" cries @@RANDOMNAME@@, the National Treasurer. "They don't seem to realise that if we cut taxes, it will drastically underfund our public services! All our environmental work, our education system, our healthcare system - all will go kaput! @@NAME@@ depends on these taxes, we need the money! Don't let the people fritter it away on luxuries, 'cos they'll soon be complaining about there not being enough policemen on the beat. We'll tax the shirts off their backs and they'll be damn well happy about it!"

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#136: Much Ado About Abortion [Aquilla; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
A monstrous debate between pro-life groups and pro-choice groups has erupted as a @@NAME@@ citizen launches an high-court appeal to overturn an ancient law prohibiting all abortions. Pressure groups have demanded the government step in to make a ruling.

The Debate
1. @@RANDOMNAME@@, lawyer for the woman known only as Miss X, says, "It is Miss X's right to choose! It's her body; she can do whatever she wants with it. In the interest of women's rights, abortion MUST be legalised throughout the country!'

2. "I most vehemently disagree," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a pro-life activist. "I'm all for women's rights in general, but what about the child? Does it have no rights either? Abortion is totally immoral an I insist that we outlaw abortion except in cases of rape, or when the mother's life is in danger."

3. "You're not going far enough! Abortion is murder!" shouts Reverend @@RANDOMNAME@@, waving a placard with a picture of a foetus on it. "God decides which babies live and which will die, not us! The government must maintain a stern anti-abortion stance to preserve the morality of @@NAME@@!"

4. "Abortion has to be legal if we're going to last as a nation," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, President of the Society of Bitter Old People. "Have you ever thought that with @@NAME@@'s growing population of @@POPULATION@@ million, we soon aren't going to be able to squeeze any more people within our borders? If we use abortion to control the population, we'll make great savings and can spend the money elsewhere. One child per family should just about do it I think. Extraneous ones can be sold to other countries."

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#137: Arms Industry Demands Respect [Koternacht; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
Representatives of @@NAME@@'s arms manufacturing industry have expressed outrage over the lack of public and private support for their sector.

The Debate
1. Interviewed by the industry's trade journal 'Our Weapons, Your Victory', the CEO of @@NAME@@ Arms Inc, @@RANDOMNAME@@, said: "It is shameful the way we have been treated over the last few years! Shameful! Our workers, and I tell you we have a great many of them, can barely get to work thanks to disruption by protestors and all that hippie nonsense. And as for this dangerous talk of 'Ethical Trade Practices', I say we need full government recognition of our vital contribution to the economy - relaxation of trade barriers, gun laws, and a crackdown on all these long-haired weirdos who try to shut us down!"

2. "We have a right to protest against this evil business!" screams @@RANDOMNAME@@ through a megaphone. "The arms manufacturing industry is a stain on our nation's character and must be removed. How can we make money from the production of these evil weapons; how can we stand by and profit from the blood spilled by these abominations? The government must take a stand and outlaw the whole sector!"

3. Your Minister of Trade advises taking a middle ground: "We can't ban arms sales without harming the quality of our military and police departments, not to mention the economy. These hippies do have a point though - guns are terrible things in the wrong hands. We should implement additional safety checks on the groups to which the weapons get sold. That way we don't lose too many sales, and the people are persuaded we are making a stand against nations who use the weapons for immoral ends. The arms industry get to sell their guns and the protesters get to protest. Everybody wins!"

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#138: Keep The Greenbelt Green, Say Protesters [Big-yellow-taxi; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
A group of environmentalists are protesting against plans to expand urban and suburban developments into greenbelts, the designated countryside between settlements.

The Debate
1. "Do we really have to listen to these nutcases?" asks real estate developer, Jonathon Cogswell. "The fact of the matter is that nature is BORING. Give us permission to build on the greenbelt and you'll have pink hotels, boutiques, and swinging hot spots that'll be the envy of the region and draw tourists from all around! We can always transplant a few trees and put them in a tree museum to keep the tree-huggers happy. @@NAME@@ stands to make a lot of money from this! Think about it for a moment!"

2. "I agree with my colleague here, but he doesn't go far enough," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a city planner. "These protestors are standing in the path of progress. It slows the growth of our economy and harms my portfolio - er - the future of our nation, I mean. It's unpatriotic and we should increase police funding to deal with these troublemakers. Then we wouldn't have to worry about greenbelts or any other nonsense about keeping the 'environment' safe. Think about it for a moment!"

3. "I can't believe what I'm hearing!" exclaims environmental activist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Tree museums? Police funding? Don't it always seem to be the case that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone? We're talking about natural treasures and you're talking about destroying them. Is there anything that you can build that can really be better than nature? We should put a stop to all encroachment into natural areas. Think about it for a moment!"

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#139: Drug Debate Hits The Streets [Docere; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
Tens of thousands of citizens have taken to the streets demanding the right to smoke whatever they want, wherever they want.

The Debate
1. "Ever since smoking was banned, I've been a gibbering wreck," laments @@RANDOMNAME@@, handing you a cup of strange-smelling tea. "You just don't understand - I need to smoke! And sometimes I need to roll a little bit more than tobacco. It's not a luxury. In a place as depressing as @@NAME@@, we should at least be able to have some escape. Even if it does mean escaping to a world full of dancing badgers, talking mushrooms and luminous colours. So please, allow us a bit more freedom to get high."

2. "Things are fine just the way they are," says Detective @@RANDOMNAME@@ of the Narcotics Squad. "The laws just need better enforcement - we need harsher punishments, better border controls, more police officers, and some education for youngsters, telling them to just say 'no'. Do you know how many times I've had to bring kids into rehabilitation clinics? Do you know how many kids out there are getting lung cancer? It's heartbreaking, it really is. We need some more support from the government if we are to reach our goals."

3. "Yo mate, c'mon, it's not just about the crops," moans a grimy, emaciated man, as he sits slumped on the ground and tugs at your trouser leg. "Some of us like other stuff, ya know, ain't fair if we can't hit off that. You gotta decr- decrimi- just make everything OK, yeah? C'mon, I need just one more hit. Just one more. I can handle it man, I CAN HANDLE IT!"

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#140: A Grave Problem [Eta Carinae; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
As cemetaries across @@NAME@@ are beginning to reach their full capacities, citizens are demanding that the government step in to rectify the situation before the bodies start to pile up.

The Debate
1. "The expansion of cemetaries must end if the remaining government land is to benefit the economy," says the Minister of Death, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "What I propose is that we declare all graves over, say, ten years old, as vacant. And then dump a new corpse in it. Hey, nobody objects to sharing a university dormitory with another person, why should they object to sharing their grave?"

2. "Burial plots are so expensive these days, few people are opting for them anyway," says Retirement Home owner, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Let's just go for that final push and make cremation compulsory. Some people may not be happy with it, but when you get right down to it, it's only setting fire to their loved ones against their will - you must agree that that's less important than expanding suburban development."

3. "This is horrendous," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, whose partner recently passed away. "Whatever happened to choice? When my Henry died, he was promised an eternal resting place; a place where his name would stand and he would be remembered. Having it disturbed by 'newcomers' or enforcing cremation is a slur against him and the rest of @@NAME@@'s deceased citizens! If you have any compassion in your soul, then you'll acknowledge a grave as being a sacrosanct area. The dead must be allowed to rest in peace."

4. "Burying and cremating the dead is such a waste..." says @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of the Research Department at the McRonald's chain of fast-food restaurants. "They should be recycled for the benefit of the nation! We'll pay the families a little something for their loss, then mince up the bodies and put them in our burgers! I can't see any downsides, can you? It'd save space, recompensate the grieving, and supply everyone with a tasty snack!"

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#141: Police Too Pushy? [Myrth; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
A group of 'concerned compatriots' (Citizens Raging Against the Police) have protested against the enormous numbers of policemen enforcing the law on their daily lives.

The Debate
1. "I'm constantly surrounded by over-zealous policemen!" deplores @@RANDOMNAME@@, a spokesman for the group. "Just last week I was arrested for letting my baby cry too loudly in public! This is ridiculous! The government needs to cut back the police force and let citizens get on with their lives without interference! If that means allowing muggers, thieves, burglars, pickpockets, murderers and all the rest to not have coppers breathing down the back of their necks constantly then so be it! This really is too much!"

2. "You can't listen to what they're saying!" gasps Police Chief @@RANDOMNAME@@, horrified. "These nuts would have us living in utter anarchy! If some robbers suddenly decide to break into a shop and steal everything, what's the owner going to do? What could anyone do without a well-funded police force? There has to be justice and law or we'd be nothing better than a bunch of savages. Stick to your guns, I say, and let me arrest these subversives - people need to be taught to show some respect!"

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#142: Roads like Rollercoasters, Complain Motorists [Mirkai; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
A group of local motorists have assembled outside of City Hall to protest against the shoddy state of roads in @@NAME@@.

The Debate
1. "These roads are terrible!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, president of the @@NAME@@ Auto Club. "Every few feet there's a crack, or a pothole, or a gravel patch, or the remains of someone else's car! It's really too much! And just look at this-" he adds, rubbing a nasty bruise on his forehead - "I got that from my rear-view mirror after flying over a bump on Main Street! These roads must be fixed! There really needs to be vast improvements made now, before anyone gets seriously hurt."

2. @@RANDOMNAME@@, avowed anti-spending advocate, disagrees: "Road construction? What a waste of values! If people can still drive on them, then the roads are fine as they are. Spending more to make trivial repairs would just be a waste of the tax payers' money! We should just ignore these whiners and leave the roads as they are and if the drivers don't like that - well... then they can just learn to walk like the rest of us."

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#143: An Archaeological Altercation [Fiscali; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
During the construction of a new Hyper-Mega-Ultra-Super Mall, construction workers have unearthed what appears to be an ancient temple. A furious debate has arisen between those who wish to preserve it, and those who need their retail therapy.

The Debate
1. "This is the perfect opportunity to learn more of our nations history!" says Professor @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of the archaeological department of The @@NAME@@ History Museum. "All building work must be halted immediately so that my team can study this remarkable piece of our nation's past. To bury these ruins under some concrete eyesore would be criminal!"

2. "It's all very nice to get to know some more about our past," argues foreman @@RANDOMNAME@@. "But that's just the thing! It's the past! We must think of the future. If you allow those decrepit fossils to take over this place, you put at risk the future of our economy! Today it's archaeological digs, tomorrow it's 'preservation of the environment'. Just let me bulldoze the worthless pile of rubble and bury it under a few hundred tonnes of concrete."

3. "Behold, the hour has arrived! The Holy Temple of Firefury Amahira has been unearthed!" proclaims Yon-Zhauryg v'Klot, leader of the Cult of the Undead @@ANIMAL@@. "This land is sacred, and must not be befouled by these corporations! No-one but the enlightened children of Firefury must be allowed to venture inside our refound sanctuary, where we will perform the required rituals to please the Great Goddess and prevent Her from unleashing Her wrath upon the world."

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#144: Democracy Going To The Dogs? [Libertarian haven; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
After a recent election instated a small dog as member of parliament, the fringe group "Brains for Ballots" has demanded for the government to tighten voting restrictions.

The Debate
1. "The ignorant have taken over @@NAME@@," yells @@RANDOMNAME@@, from atop a soap box podium. "It is time that the intelligent retake the polls! Mr. 'Scruffy' is a disgrace to democracy and should be taken out of office instantly! I propose we issue mandatory I.Q. tests for every voting citizen and if they are found to have below average reasoning ability - namely lacking the foresight to see that electing an inanimate object to office will cause disaster - then they shall be excused from the responsibility of voting."

2. "Umm... huh?" inquires village idiot, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "I voted? When? Oh, yeah. Please don't make me not vote. The ballots are really tasty, and where else would I get my fibre? Everyone should have the right to vote, no matter what their favourite greenhouse is! Then we can all get the government to do what we want! First thing I think we should do is, uh, ban fruit? I hate fruit."

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#145: Hackles Raised Over Fur Clothes Debate [Naturhio; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
Several animal rights groups have protested the continuing use of fur as a material for clothing.

The Debate
1. "This is an outrage!" cries @@RANDOMNAME@@, president of the Be Nice To Animals society. "The manufacture of fur apparel is unethical, cruel, and disgusting! People just don't seem to realise that millions of animals die each year in fur farms, crammed into tiny cages and suffering the most terrible treatment just so someone can look appealing and rich! This is a sick practice and must be stopped! The same can go for leather shoes and snakeskin belts too."

2. "You can't mean that, surely?" snorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, adjusting his hat, made from real @@ANIMAL@@ hide. "It's the people's choice what they wear. I don't think it's fair that the majority of the public should be deprived of fur clothes because some people are a bit queasy. In fact, if the government would allow us to stock rarer animals, we could produce even finer products. In the end, it's up to the consumer, don't you think?"

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#146: Evolution: Truth Or Witchcraft? [Holbrookia; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
Religious and scientific leaders have clashed recently over the teaching of evolution in public schools.

The Debate
1. "Ach, good to see you haff made it here in one piece," says evil doctor @@RANDOMNAME@@ as you wake up strapped to a chair in a secret lab. "As you can see from my brilliant experiments, science has now solved zer problems of zer vorld und ve need nothink else! I propose zat ve do AVAY vith zer teachink of silly thinks like religion und concentrate on zer FACTS! For a start, ve must teach our children where ve came from. Ve shouldn't be teaching anythink that hasn't been scientifically proven - er - accounted for, I mean. Igor, release our guest - I haff a monkey to show him..."

2. "That's a LIE, son, we come from the great meteor of truth!" yells firebrand preacher Pastor Richards, kicking down your door. "We cannot allow there transgressions against the HOLY truth to continue! All the heathens should be thankful we don't burn them at the stake for their devilry! This nation's true and just government must ban the filth and corruption being spread bah these WICKED men!"

3. "What I'm wondering is why we need to take sides on this," says student @@RANDOMNAME@@. "After all, it's only a theory. An unproven theory. It's not like it has any bearing on real life - let's just allow the biologists to teach evolution but emphasise that it's only a theory, but also make them teach other theories such as creationism. Heck, we can tell them that crackpot theory that we're all descended from owls too! Then everyone goes away happy."

4. "Stop bickering already!" says @@RANDOMNAME@@, Minister of Education. "I say that you can have your cake and eat it, too. Education should be split if it stops this debate. The parents can send their children to secular schools or religious schools, based on what they want their kids to hear. It's expensive, certainly, but the education budget has been needing boosted for ages anyway."

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#147: Military Budgets Up For Approval [Greater philadelphia; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
The various branches of @@NAME@@'s military brought their budget petitions to your attention and, as usual, they are all asking for widespread increases over the rest of the military departments.

The Debate
1. "Clearly the army requires the greatest increase in funds this year," says Field Marshal @@RANDOMNAME@@. "After all, wars were never won by air or sea and in this dangerous world we must be able to protect the interests of @@NAME@@. Currently our men get hand-me-down weapons, rations I wouldn't feed a pig - the army is increasingly looking like a bad career option and we can't have that. If we're going to get recruits, we need more funding to support our brave lads in their duty."

2. "Hah! It's the Navy who needs the money, mate," says Grand Admiral @@RANDOMNAME@@. "The army and the police forces can protect us domestically, but can they protect us from having our foreign trade cut off? Can they protect us from terrorists and pirates? How are the soldiers going to get to the enemy's borders? Swim? I think not. Fund us, the Navy, the true protectors of @@NAME@@!"

3. "Despite the statements of my colleagues," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, Marshal of the Air Force. "The Air Force requires more money than these men playing around with boats. We are increasingly seeing terrorists taking to the air, and more ships or guns are not going to stop that. Our people will only be safe when the Air Force has the power it needs to defend us - and for that we need more funding and more government support for industries geared towards the development of new aircraft."

4. "You're all thinking too small!" exclaims @@RANDOMNAME@@, an avid Star Wars fan. "What we need is more research into the possibilities of space weapons! Big laser cannon and satellites with complete annihilation power! And cool spaceships! Boom! Rat-a-tata! Bang! Bang! It'll be expensive, sure, but think of the power! THE POWER!"

5. "It's simply not good enough!" wails @@RANDOMNAME@@, the Minister of Defence. "It's not about the money - it's the manpower. Not enough people by far are signing up! All we seem to be getting nowadays are drunks and people who volunteered for a dare. The current conscription laws need to be either more strictly enforced or drastically rewritten. What I propose is a universal draft: everyone capable of pulling a trigger should become a part of the Army, Navy or Air Force. Only in this way can we ensure the dominance of @@NAME@@ in the region."

6. "The military is a stain on the peace-loving nature of our nation!" cries @@RANDOMNAME@@, while sporting a Rastifarian hat. "People should be allowed to choose what they do for a living! Conscription is wrong and I don't see why our tax guilders should go to such a despicable cause! The money should be going to more important places - like our pockets!"

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#148: Spare The Rod, Demand Welfare Activists [Eastern Newfoundland; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
The @@NAME@@ S.P.C.C. has launched a fresh campaign to stop parents from smacking their children. They demand that the government introduce laws to ban this form of 'corporal punishment'.

The Debate
1. Child Psychiatrist, Dr. @@RANDOMNAME@@, speaks at a press conference on the matter: "Parents and teachers must realise that smacking children increases aggressiveness, lowers their self-esteem, and can cause long-term emotional trauma! How can anybody think that it is anything but child abuse? Parents who resort to smacking their children are obviously unfit to be parents at all! We must ban this horrible practice at once!"

2. "What are these lunatics on about?!" yells @@RANDOMNAME@@, a concerned parent. "Smacking children has been an effective form of punishment since the dawn of mankind! Outlaw it and I guarantee you the next generation will be a disorderly disaster! Children need, nay CRAVE discipline! Sometimes the only language they understand is the cane, and the government has to respect that!"

This forum's maximum postlength is smaller than the previous one's, so I need more space.

Either a mod can salvage this thread, or I'll have to start a new one and we switch sticky status.

Ballotonia

much more space, number 148 has entered service:

Spare The Rod, Demand Welfare Activists

The Issue
The @@NAME@@ S.P.C.C. has launched a fresh campaign to stop parents from smacking their children. They demand that the government introduce laws to ban this form of 'corporal punishment'.

The Debate
Child Psychiatrist, Dr. @@RANDOMNAME@@, speaks at a press conference on the matter: "Parents and teachers must realise that smacking children increases aggressiveness, lowers their self-esteem, and can cause long-term emotional trauma! How can anybody think that it is anything but child abuse? Parents who resort to smacking their children are obviously unfit to be parents at all! We must ban this horrible practice at once!"


"What are these lunatics on about?!" yells @@RANDOMNAME, a concerned parent. "Smacking children has been an effective form of punishment since the dawn of mankind! Outlaw it and I guarantee you the next generation will be a disorderly disaster! Children need, nay CRAVE discipline! Sometimes the only language they understand is the cane, and the government has to respect that!"

Issue by: The Holy State of Eastern Newfoundland
Editor: Sirocco

Followed by:

#149: With Liberty, Freedom, And Guns For All? [Frigben; ed:Sirocco]

The Issue
After the banning of firearms in @@NAME@@, the underground @@NAME@@ Handgun Association went public, staging huge protests in an effort to turn over the firearms ban.

The Debate
1. "We need our guns back!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, wildly waving a water pistol in the air. "This is an infringement on our personal rights! If someone went and killed a bunch of people with a cricket bat would you ban them too? Sure people will be killed, but that's the price you've gotta pay for freedom! These liberals keep talking about legalising drugs because if we can't control them, we might as well join them. Humbug! I say we should do the same for guns!"

2. "Nonsense!" insists Michelle Mires, while handcuffing herself to your leg. "Guns pose a risk to people's lives! No one should have the freedom to be stupid! Do you realise just how easy it could be for someone to get hold of a gun and just go and kill people? If you allow everyone to have guns, you're going to be condemning people to death! The answer to safety isn't more guns - it's more policemen on the beat, more serious attention brought to gun-smuggling, and banning toy guns and gun-related violence on the television. We've got to get it into people's heads - guns are BAD."

This thread is closed, a new one had to be started to create sufficient space to store the issues.

See: http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=345941

Requesting lock on this thread and switching stickies...

Ballotonia

At the request of the thread author, iUnsticky and iLock.

--The Modified Democratic States of Cogitation