NationStates Jolt Archive

Nobody knew how old Earnest Equanant was. Neither did he. He didn't care. He looked as if he were in his early twenties. So he said he was twenty-two.
Nobody knew where Earnest was, eitehr. Neither did he. He figured he was in Utah or something. Just wandering the desert with a gallon canteen. And that gallon Canteen was almost empty. Earnest knew he should ration water, but he needed a refill, and soon. Just to his luck, he came up to a fence. Knowing there would be people on the other side of the fence, he jumped it. Not twenty feet away a sign saying,

"Federal property, do not enter. Tresspassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again. Commies will be shot three times and then displayed on national television as an excuse to declare war on the Soviet Union."

But Earnest was thirsty and intent on getting water. He walked up a steep hill and came up on what looked like an airfield. He kept on walking, not seeing the sodliers armed with rifles and submachine guns. And the Soldiers didn't see him. Those that did figured Earnest was a soldier from the brown camo shirt he was wearing. He came up to a building and knocked on the door.

"Come in."

Earnest opened the door and looked at a plump man witha cigar in his mouth at a desk. There was paperwork all over the desk and it was unorganized.

"Who the hell are you?" the man asked, startled by the unfamiliar man.

"A simple desert traveler. It seems my canteen has run out of water. Can you help me, sir?"

"What-How-Are you a communist?"

"No, sir. I was at Normandy. I walked in Berlin, victorious with my regiment and the hundred and first."

"Oh. One of our boys. Well, you still shouldn't be here. I'll get you some water, but don't tell ANYONE you saw this palce, alright?"

"Why not?"

"You believe in the Roswell conspiracies?"

"No, sir."

"Good. This is a top-secret facility that you never stumbled apon, alright?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good."

The plump man pushed a button under his desk and said,

"Private Kort, get in here."

A young middle-eastern looking lad came in. Earnest could tell taht he wasnt American, rather someone posing as an American. He was either a spy or had something to hide.

"Yes, sir?"

"Get this man some water."

Earnest handed him his canteen. The Private didn't take it.

"Sir?"

"ARE YOU QUESTIONING HIS ORDERS?" Earnest shouted.

"And who the hell are you?"

"I am Sargeant Earnest Equanant! Do you know how I lost this eye?" Earnest asked, pointing to his right eye, which had a patch.The frightened private took a step back.

"N-No, sir."

"I was running up the hills when a sniper round flew right past my nose and nicked my eye."
Earnest lifted his patch and showed the long groove in his eye. It looked as if it healed partially. He could see the inside of his eyeball.

"I think I'm going to be sick..."

"That's exactly what the doctor said when he looked at it. It took me two years to be able to get back to Germany. But I proved to be one of the best soldiers out there. I was promoted to Sargeant by the time I got to my second German city. Now, before you doubt my identity again, go get my water, Private."

Private Kort took the canteen and turned and went to fill it. He returned soon with a gallon of water. Earnest took it took a sip, saluted the fat man at the desk, nodded to the Private and left the base.

Count JWolf drove into a parking lot of some backwater little bar in West Texas. He was riding on a 1948 Harley-Davidson Knucklehead, a black and dark blue two-tone paint job. He put the kickstand down and dismounted the bike. It has been three years after World War II, a war that the Count was a Nazi and a member of Ally forces. He walked into the bar’s front door and straight to the bar. “Beer.” he said.

Earnest was enjoying his canteen as he walked down the road from the base. The soldiers couldn't believe what they saw when they saw Earnest striding out of the base. He enjoyed the desert scenery. The hills, the plateus, the Mesas, the lizards, the snakes, and the random flashes of lightning. It was a very pretty scene.

"Wait, random flashes of lightning?" Earnest asked himself. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. He went off-course to check out where the lighting came from.

When he got there, there was a naked lizardlike thing wil purple blood oozing out of the wounds caused by the glass made by the lightning. Earnest looked around and found a dead, stiff lizard. He picked it up and poked the creature. It mumbled and grunted. Earnest poked it again and it stirred awake. It stood up and looked around. It turned to Earnest and stared at him with a curious face.

"Are you an alien?" Earnest asked.

"Um...Yes..." it replied.

"Are you here to harvest our souls, eat our children, and drink all of our brews?"

"No..."

"Aw, damn. But you're still an alien, right?"

"Yes? Earnest, why are you asking these stupid questions?"

"How'd you know my name?"

Suddenly, a half-dozen jeeps surrounded them.

"FREEZE!"

Earnest found himself being transported back to the base. He was blindfolded, which didn't make since he knew where the base was already, and found himself back in the plup man's office when he awoke.

"I'm terribly sorry for this Earnest, but you've seen something you shouldn't have. Nobody should have. You can't leave the base now. Wherever you were headed, I'll let you call and tellthem that you can't come."

"Doesn't matter, I wasn't headed anywhere."

"Wandering can be dangerous."

"So can lighting to alien lifeforms. He knew who I was. Any answers to that?"

"Yes. We've been interrogating him, and he says he's from the future. Some wierd time like 3079 or something. He was a leader of some wierdo country called Green Sun or something like that. I think he's whacko after getting senthere from his ship."

"Can I talk to him, sir? He seems to know me."

"Go ahead."

"Where can I find him?"

"Lieutant Strauss, blindfold him and take him to the Alien."

"Oh, come on, I know where teh base it! If I'm going to live here I ought to know where everything is!"

The plump man and the Lieutanant looked at each other. Strauss shrugged and lead Earnest to a building thatr had a sign on it that said,

"Warning: Aliens. Do not enter. You never saw this sign."

Earnest looked around and saw a whole bunch of aliens. He noticed the one the alien he met was in, which said 'Sanghelli' on the glass. There was a chair in front of it and a bunch of people surrounding it. Earnest sat down in teh chair and looked the alien right in the eye.

"Earnest, what's going on? Where am I?"

"Okay, how do you know my name?"

"You're one of my oldest friends, Earnest."

"I don't know any aliens."

"Um...What year is it?"

"1948."

"Oh, no...Green Sun hasn't been founded yet. I can't talk to you..."

"Wait, wait, wait. Green Sun?"

"I can't tell you."

"Just tell me where that is."

"It's a penninsula on the Consortium of Shadows," a voice from behind said. Earnest turned and the alien looked up. It was Private Kort.

"I'm going to move there after I finish my work here at the base. My wife and my child, Ishmael, are already there."

"Sounds nice."

"It has no government."

"Doesn't sound nice."

"I know, but I just want to live life my way..."

"I understand. That's why I wander the states, Kort."

"Yolan, sir."

"Yolan."

Earmest turned to the alien.

"See? Now I know about Green Sun. You say I found its government?"

"Yes. In a few years from now, you and-"
The alien stopped.
"You and a couple of friends found a Preliminary government controlled by the United States."

"How do you know of those plans to start a government there?" one of the men behind Earnest asked.

"I told you, I'm from the future! I know these things!"

Earnest turned to the men behind him and said,

"If you'll excuse us, I think speaking with him alone would help us out more."

After a bit of discussion, they all left except for Yolan.

"I want to hear this," he said. Shaku stared at Yolan with what looked like spite or anger. He turned to Earnest.

"My name is Shaku Sha'amamee. You are Earnest Equanant, one of the Wonders of the World to some."

"And the man who's going to bust you out."

"What?" Yolan shouted. Earnest charged him and took Yolan's gun and knocked him out.

"Stand back," he said. He aimed the pistol at the bolts holding the glass in and fired. The glass fell. Shaku stepped out.

"Let's go."

Shaku followed Earnestout of the building. Earnest put the safety back on the gun and laid it down next to Yolan. He ran out of the building, being careful to not be seen. He found a jeep and signaled Shaku to get in. Earnest hot-wired it and drove out of the base, keeping his head low as machine guns fired at them.

"I TOLD you he couldn't be trusted!" Roared Lieutanant Staruss to the plump man. Strauss went to the hangar and grabbed anotehr jeep and gave chase.


"Earnest, we're being tailed!" Shaku said. Earnest looked behind and saw the Lieutanant following them. There was a ping as a bullet ricocheted off of their jeep. Earnest gave it more gas. Strauss was still in pursuit. Earnest drove wildly trying to shake him, but to no avail. Shaku started digging through the jeep and found a pistol.

"We should have kept Yolan's so we would have two," Earnest said. Shaku squeezed his large finger into the trigger and cursed the ancient technology. He raised the gun and fired at Strauss's engine. It blew after about five shots.

"It would have taken me a clip to make that shot!" Earnest commented.

"You taught me how to shoot," Shaku replied.

Earnest laughed with Shaku. They made it to the main road and tehy drove until they ran out of gas.

"Well, it was a good machine while it lasted," Earnest said. He opened the trunk and started fiddling with it. Earnest finished and started to run. Shaku followed. After about twenty seconds, the jeep exploded.

"Learned that from a German who learned how do sabatage our jeeps. Learned it and killed him. Couldn't let him teach other Germans how to do it."

"Fascinating..."

They walked a few miles when Earnest realized Shaku shouldn't bee seen. He told Shaku to stay there while he went ahead with the gun. Eventually he came across a car and it stopped. It was just one man. Earnest smiled, threw the man out of the car and turned the vehicle around to get Shaku. He could hear the man cussing behind him. He was still there when they turned the other way.

((Theao, you ready?))

ooc: Take it it's time to enter?

((Yup. Make your post and Shaku and Earnest will pick you up.))

Sara reached up to brush a bit of sweat from under her bandana. She unhooked one of her Nalgene bottles and unscrewed the top and took a drink. As she walked she commented to herself, "I really should have planned my wardrode a bit better." She was partially roasting in the darker colours that she was wearing.

Deciding to take a few second break, she unslung her pack and stretched, before heading back along the road. Hearing what sounded like a car, she stuck her thumb out in case she could get a ride.

"Oh, she's cute," Earnest said.

"Earnest, you shouldn't pick up hitchhikers-"

"What could be the damage? As long as she doesn't see you, we'll have no problem. Look around for something to wear. Can't have you going around with your dick hanging out."

Shaku dug through the car and found a large cloak and put it on. Earnest stopped the car next to the woman and rolled down the window.

"Hello. Need a lift?"

"And where are you headed?" Sara asked the odd looking man with the patch over his eye. There was another man, or maybe women who was trying to stay hidden for some reason, "And what's with your friend?"

Count JWolf had drunk over 30 beers during his time at the bar. But because is a vampire, he only was buzzing and not wasted. He was sitting in a booth at the back of the bar. A thin cloud of smoke was over the booth. In the Count’s mouth sat a real Cuban cigar. Nobody want to get near the man in black hat.

"And where are you headed?" Sara asked the odd looking man with the patch over his eye. There was another man, or maybe women who was trying to stay hidden for some reason, "And what's with your friend?"
"We're headed to Texas, I've got some family down there who'se going to take me in for a while before I leave the country. And my friend here-um...Shaun, is incredibly ugly, so he doesn't show his face."

"Then I'll take you up on your offer, at least part way." Sara replied, "and you friend will have to show himself at sometime. My name's Sara by the way, and yours is?" She asked

"You'd faint if you saw how ugly he is. I'm Earnest."

"He's right. I'm just that ugly you wouldn't be able to comprehend it."

"Then we'll have to agree to disagree." She replied with a slight upturn of her lips. She proceeded to toss her bag into the back and get into the vehicle. "So how long have you too been travelling together?" She asked

"About three hours. Oh, and if we find ourselves being chased by the military, you can bail at any time."

"Would you mind explaining the situation. Are they chasing you, him or both?" Sara asked as the vehicle started up again

"Yes. I wandered into Area 51, got some water, and left. After I was about three miles away, I saw a bolt of lighting and found an ugly lizardlike alien."

Shaku lowered his hood.

"Told you he was ugly."

"Very odd, highly unusual, but not really ugly. So is your name really Shawn?" Sara asked as she reached back for one of her waterbottles.

"Shaku," Shaku replied. His lower jaw split in two as he talked, which wasn't noticeable from a very short distance.

"So you don't think traveling with a man with one eye, who's driving, by the way, and an alien, both who are being chased by the Military?"

"Not really, I've had to cope with as odd or odder problems before." Sara replied

"Huh. I, too, have been in odder situations, but this is still pretty wierd, especially with the addition of you, Sara. Where are you from?"

"I'm from Theao, what about the both of you?" Sara replied

"The United States. I'm a Masshole."

"I'm from the planet Green Sun. It hasnt been colonized yet."

"Ah. So what are your plans, or where the ones you told me earlier the truth?" Sara asked

"I already told you. Get the hell of the USA before they declare me America's Most Wanted and frame me for someone's murder."

"Alright." Sara replied

After several hours of tarveling, they refilled a few times until they had reached Oklahoma, where their car broke down.

"Well, this is just peachy. Let's find a mechanic to get it fixed. If we can't, let's just hijack another one," Earnest said.

"It could be overheated," Sara commented

Count JWolf left the bar about a couple of hours ago, he was on the road heading towards Dallas. He would find another bar somewhere in the middle to stop at.

Earnest opened the hood and looked in. They could hear several pops and clanks. Earnest turned and his face was covered in oil.
"No, it needs a mechanic."
"You're going to need an undertaker once I'm done with you," a new voice said. They turned and saw Lieutanant Strauss and Private Kort holding Thompson at them.
"Lieutanant! Private! How good it is to see you again!"
"Shut up. You two, follow me. Private, cuff the alien."
"Yes, sir."
Private Kort approached Shaku, but Shaku struck him, sending him in the air and knocking him out. The Lieutanant fired his Thompson and Earnest tackled and covered Sara. He took three bullets to his back. Shaku charged Strauss and knocked him out. Earnest could barely stand.
"How about a beer?"

The Count stopped in a bar near Dallas, a small bar that nobody would be looking for somebody in. He parked his bike and walked into the place. He took a sat at the back and lit another Cuban cigar.

"Are you alright Earnest?" Sara asked as she looked at the holes in his shirt, but no obvious wound signs.

Earnest moved around.
"Yeah...Yeah, I'm fine...Let's just hijack another car, I don't want to stay in this town when these two wake up..."

"Why not tie them up and stash them so they won't be found for a couple days?" Sara said, as she grabbed her pack.

"No, I have a better idea."
Earnest took their SMGs and handed one to Shaku. They opened fire on the buildings aroundthem and stashed their limp bodies in teh car with the Thompsons and wheeled it into an alleyway and ran like hell.

Sara kept pace with the two, even with her pack on, "So where are we going to be getting a car?"

Earnest didn't reply until they were out of town. He held up his thumb and when a car came by and stopped, he threw the solo driver out of the car and opened the door for Sara.

"Now that wasn't very nice." She said as they left.

"That's what the owner of the last car was yelling to me as I drove by."

"Do you have a valid american license?" Sara asked

Earnest thought for a little while.
"I think it expired sometime during my tour in the second World War."

"I know you don't." Sara commented to Shaku. "And I prefere motorbikes. Hopefully we can trade this in for one that won't be reported stolen shortly." Sara said.

Shaku looked behind them and saw that there was at least three Police cars behind them.

"I believe we already have. Step on it, Earnie."

"I hate being called Earnie. You should know that if you're from my future."

"Alright, Earnest."

The car sped up much faster. The Police cars wailed their sirens and gave chase.

"If we get caught, dad's going to kill me." Sara commented to herself as she looked at the cop cars.

"Still have the gun?" Earnest asked. Shaku held up the pistol.
"Wipe it to get rid of my fingerprints."
Shaku did as he was instructed.
"Toss it."
Shaku donned his hood and threw the handgun at the police cars, careful not to reveal what he was.

"Why'd you do that?" Sara asked

"Top make them think we're dangerous and heavily armed."

"How would throwing a gun at them cause them to think that, I would understand firing at them, but throwing a gun." Sara said in a 'you sir are nuts' voice.

"Tells them that we're heavily armed, but don't want to hurt anyone. But then again, they're probably really thick."

"Ah." Sara replied, "What will you do if/when they put up a roadblock?"

"Drive around it!" Earnest told her. They all looked ahead and saw that Earnest was doing just that: He was completely avoiding a roadblock by driving off of the road. After two hours of chasing, they found themselve sin a Texan city. Earnest pulled into an alleyway and lost the cops.
"Well, that was fun!"

"So, what's your plan now?" Sara asked

Earnest looked around and found a bar.
"Let's get blindly drunk and piss someone off."
"You're just trying to get arrested, aren't you?" Shaku asked.
"I'm an adventurer. It's what I do."
Earnest walked over into the bar and looked around. There was several people there, but there was one man wearing a balck cowboy hat and a leather duster who stood out because he was all alone in that side of the bar. Earnest and Shaku sat next to the large man.
"Gimme your strongest," Shaku said, keeping his cloak low.
"Give me two of whatever you're giving him," Earnest said. He turned to the man in the Duster.
"Nice collection of beer mugs."

Sara joined them and ordered a brandy. She figured she might get hit on by some creeps, but the two were interesting enought to make up for it.

The Count looked up at three people who just walked in the small bar. He took his Cuban out of his mouth and put it out on the palm of his right hand. He eyed Earnest and mouthed ‘**** off.’ at him. As he did that, his fang could be seen.

"Bartender, get my friend here another drink," Earnest said as he gulped down his drink.
"So what's your story?" he asked.

“I said **** off.” said the Count, who got up and started walking to the door. Then he stopped and turned back around to face Earnest. This big Navy sailor walked up behind him and said “Sir, you need to leave before I throw you out of here. This is my brother’s place.” He placed his hands on the Count’s shoulders.

“You have three seconds to get your hands off of Me.,” said the Count.

“Three.” he said. The sailor did not take his hands off.

“Two.” said the Count; the sailor did the same thing.

“One.” said the sailor “Now, what are you going to do?”

Then the Count moved so fast that no human eye could follow him. He hit the sailor in the chest three times before doing an uppercut on the sailor. The sailor hit the ground and the Count kicked him straight in the chest. The sailor started sliding across the floor and out of the door. “Now, anybody want to mess with Me.” taunted the Count “I’m not in the ****ing mood right now.”

Earnest grabbed him and moved the beer in front of him.
"When someone buys you a beer and asks you for your life story, it's polite to either give him a story or politely refuse. Or do you just not care about manners to nice people?"

“Is there something wrong with your ears?” the Count asked to Earnest. Then he looked at Earnest and said “I know you. You were in World War II in Europe. You killed a friend of mine. A German.”

“Now, **** off.” said the Count who pushed Earnest backwards. He turned back around and walked towards the door.

"I killed a lot of Germans. Because they tried to kill me. I've also killed a few vampires who have tried to kill me," Earnest replied.

“You want to try and kill me because I don’t want to talk.” said the Count as he walked towards the door. A throwing knife fell in his right hand, it came for the duster sleeve. He turned and let it fly at the man who was pissing him off. It hit the floor in front of him.

Earnest slammed the drink down on the counter.
"I don't want to kill anyone. I want to have a drink with friends of old foes."

“Okay, you want have a drink.” said the Count, who jumped over the bar. He opened a bottle of Jim Bean and took a drink from it. He walked in front of Earnest and said “Here to idiots leaders.” then he took another drink.

Earnest pointed to the Tquilla bottle, which the Bartender handed him. Earnest took a drink and said,
"Idiot leaders! They may not be much, but they're all we've got."

“Now, who the hell are you?” asked the Count. “And what the hell is up with your friend in the cloak?”

"I'm Earnest Equanant, a grey-haired, one-eyed wanderer. This is my friend, Shaun. Shaun is incredibly ugly, so he can't show his face in public."

Sara had been watching the pissing contest between Earnest and Oddball, as she'd dubbed the oddball, and almost burst out laughing at his claim.

“Well, Earnest, I’m Count JWolf of the Dominion.” said the Count. He took in some air with his nose. “And you friend’s blood does not smell like a human. So, what going on?”

"I told you, he's ugly. I can't tell you why he's ugly in public. As for 'what's going on', I'm looking for another adventure to piss someone else off. So far I've pissed off the Germans, twice, the United STates Military, and you. And everyone else in between. You interested?"

“Being ugly does not make your blood smell different.” said the Count. “Plus, you did not piss me off, the US government did. For not paying me the five million they owned me for the death of Hitler by my hands.”

“Why would I want to travel with a one-eyed man, a man wearing a rug over his body and some weird laughing woman?” he asked.

"We're going to give you a chance to get back at the US government and get them to pay for your debt. Several times over. But we can't duscuss it here in the bar. Let's find the Inn in this town and we can make plans there."

"Okay." said the Count. "I will take my bike, you lead the way." The Count head outside and sat on his bike.

"I wonder what Earnest is planning," Sara thought as she drowned the last of her brandy. "Will most likely be interesting to say the least."

Earnest lead them to the hotel and got three rooms, one for Shaku and Earnest, one for the Count, and one for Sara. Earnest had enough cash to buy the whole inn. They met in Earnest and Shaku's room. Shaku felt safe enough to lower his hood, revealing his alien head. Earnest explained how he met Shaku from meeting the Plump man to getting shot by Lieutanant Strauss and then finished when he decided to enter the bar.

"So here's what I plan to do: We get into Area 51, release all the aliens, trash the labs, and get out without their knowing. Then when we're done in Nevada, we head to Kentucky. We'll tip over Fort Knox."

"Earnest, there are millions of pounds of gold in Fort Knox, how do you propose to get it all out?" Sara asked

“Okay, you want to get back in Area 51.” said the Count “Then free some aliens then trash the place. Then head to Fort Knox.” The Count thought about it a little, he was all ready had a fortune. A huge fortune. Then he heard what said Sara. “Good question, young lady”

"Who says we're going to move it far?" Earnest asked smugly.

"So we're going to stash is somewhere close to Fort Knox?" She asked sceptically.

“Okay, Earnest, you are getting weirder and weirder every minute.” said the Count.

Earnest dug in his bag and took out alarge piece of paper. It looked like designs of some kind.
"I've been planning this for years, Count. I was fortuneate enough to get a copy of the blueprints to the Fort in my travels. Don't ask me how. There are a series of secret tunnels and passages underneath. One of them goes right into the Vault. We can get in, get the gold, and get out. As for storage, we'll leave in in the last place they'll expect it: Right where we found it. In Fort Knox. There's another secret passageway, here, that goes into a small chamber. Now, they know about the one that leads to teh Vault, but not the other one. If we can secure the tunnel, this will be a piece of cake. But there's just one major problem."

"And what is the next problem?" Sara asked with a raise eyebrow.

((The fact that in the next few days I won't be available. I'm going on vacation.))
"The tunnels aren't connected. So we're eitehr going to be really careful in movving the gold from one tunnel entrence to the next, or we did another tunnel and then close it up."

"You don't pick anything easy do you? What will you do after you get the gold into the secondary tunnel?" Sara asked

ooc: Hope your vacation goes well.

The Count started looking at the plans, he scanned each paper about three times. It would be in his mind as they did this.

"We store it and when we need money, we come, get whatever gold we need, and leave."

“I need to think this over.” said the Count.

"Take your time, it'll be a while until we get there. I've got to plan the Area 51 assault first."

"So you want to attack Area 51 with just the four of us?" Sara asked

ooc: welcome back.

“Sara, I am mutant.” said the Count. “I could get in and take it out by myself.” He sounded cocky but in fact, he could really do it.

OOC: Thanks.
IC:
"Certainly. We can have JWolf or you be returning Shaku, preferably you. That's pretty much all I've come up with so far. I'll need a gun to figure out the rest. Or the Count could attempt to inflict injuries no person could survive to prove one of my outrageous theories."

"And that theory being?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You remember when the Lieutanant and the Private shot me three times when they caught up with us?"

“I’m up for anything.” said the Count. “Think you can survive a gun shot near the heart.”

"Ya," Sara replied

"I've taken three to the back at once, go shot in my eye in World War two, by the way, I can still see out of it. Three time better than my other eye, but since it's so icky looking, I keep the patch on. Let's see...In World War One, I was torn up my a German Machine gun, can't believe I'm actually that old...I hold a record of getting shot the most by a revolver during the Wild West times...Got knocked on the head by a cannonball in the Civil War, got eaten by a shark in the War of Eighteen Twelve...And I don't think I was in the Revolutionary war. Damn, am I that old? Anyway, JWolf, I don't think a simple handgun would do. Something that would garuntee a painful and gruesome death. Do you think you could manage that?"

“Yes, I could.” he said as he pulled out a Samurai sword with a dark blue handle. “What about this?” He then pulls his Colt 911 out and said "Or a head shot from this baby?"

“You are not that old. I’m over 8,000 years old.” he added.

"You two are making me feel like an absolute child." Sara commented as the two had an 'old-off'.

“Yes, I could.” he said as he pulled out a Samurai sword with a dark blue handle. “What about this?” He then pulls his Colt 911 out and said "Or a head shot from this baby?"

“You are not that old. I’m over 8,000 years old.” he added.
"How about both?" Earnest asked.

Shaku turned to Sara and said,
"Don't feel bad. I'm over a thousand years out of place. I'm supposed to be in 3079."

"Then why are you here?" She asked Shaku, "Oh and if you are going to attempt to chop him to little peices, could you go to the bathroom, in your room?" She asked the Count.

"I was giving a speech at one of the corporations' latest inventions and it malfunctioned and spun me back to 1948."

"That would be best. This might be particularly gory, if I even bleed. I don't even recall ever seeing my own blood," Earnest said, slightly wandering into memories.

"Ah, and the modern tech base isn't advanced enought to build a new one, nor do you have the plans to do so, do you?" Sara commented

"I've only been in 1948 for a few days. I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do."

"I'm sure you'll figure something out." Sara replied

"How about both?" Earnest asked.

“A head shot and maybe both arms cut off.” said the Count. “Sound fun. But after I cut you up, do I take both of y’all back to Area 51?”

"No, you trying to kill me is something we need to do before we go to Area 51. Let's find somewhere to do this in private, like a bar or something. We'll stage a barfight and see what happens, how about that?"

Shaku sighed.
"Our books in my time say that I stay in this time until I die. I want to go home, so I hope they're wrong, but if I must stay, I will do my duty to my nation, or at least Earnest."

"Wouldn't that mean your a paradox waiting to happen?" She asked Shaku.

"Indeeed, I am. But it is God's will. Whatever I do is what He wants me to do, whatever it may be."

"I take it you're very religious then?" Sara asked

"No, you trying to kill me is something we need to do before we go to Area 51. Let's find somewhere to do this in private, like a bar or something. We'll stage a barfight and see what happens, how about that?"

“A bar fight would be fun. I have not been in one of years.” said the Count.

"Green Sun develops a unique form of government that has three sides to it-a direct democraticly elected president, cabinet, senate, and Supreme Court-a Royal Monarchy-and a Council of Theocrats that are filled with religious leaders. I am the leader of all of them, the Head of the Council of Theocrats."

"Ah, where I'm from, relgious members can get in power only if voted in." Sara replied

"How many representitives of each religion are decided by the Census, performed every four years. The more people in your religion, the more people you have in office. Satanist and cults, however, do not count. All the actual people in the position are picked by that religion's leader, which are then, in turn, voted on by their political standards. It's not as difficult as it sounds."

"Ah, but since the populace that elects the Theocratic Council also vote on the the democratic leadership, thus leaving it open to a coup by a powerful and well organised theocratic movement." Sara replie

"If they're clever enough to work a scheme like that past the Green Sun populace and the other members of Government, they deserve to be elected in," Shaku replied.

"Ah." Sara replied, "Our system is incorruptable, or at least no one has been able to figure out how to do it yet."

"The Green Sun government stays tends to stay close with their personal relationships and doesn't change much. The Earnest I know knows, and is good friends with, every member of the Government."

"Ah." Sara replied, "I wonder how they're doing in thier plan to get Earnest gutted."

Earnest walked into the bar first and ordered a bottle of Vodka and drank the shots as he waited for JWolf to enter.

Tag

The Count arrived a few minutes later and walked by Earnest. Or should I said walked into Earnest and knocked him off his stool. “Watch out, drunk.” he said as he got back to his feet.

"HEY!" Earnest shouted, pretending to be drunk.
"I'm not drunk, I'm buzzed!"

“Whatever.” said the Count. “You’re a pile of **** anyway.” he added before he threw a punch at him. He pulled it but to everybody else, it looked real.

"At least I wasn't born in a pile of it!" Earnest said stupidly and swung, but missed.

The Count ducked under the punch and came up with his Samurai sword in his hands. “To the Hell with this.” he said as he swung at Earnest‘s right shoulder.

The Bartender reacted, shouting at Jwolf, but then they realized taht Earnest's arm was still attatched. Not a drop of blood was found. Earnest felt the pain, but nothing happened. His shirt was torn at the sleeve, but nothing happened to his arm.

"What the Hell are you?" yelled JWolf as he backed off. He put the Samurai sword up and drew his Colt M1911 and pointed at Earnest. “Everybody, this one of those people that escape for the military. Everybody get the HELL OUT OF HERE.” he yelled.

There was an awkward silence. Then everyone paniked and fled the bar. Earnest was a bit shocked. He had been shot and maimed so many times before, but he never noticed that it never really did anything to him. He looked up at JWolf and stared at him, which told him to shoot.

The Count fired two shots in Earnest‘s knees. Then he fired three shots in the chest and two in the head. Now, he waited to see the out come of the shooting. The clip fell from the pistol and the Count stopped it in mid-air. He put it in pocket and loaded a fresh clip in.

Earnest twitched from teh shots, but he then stood strait. He began to cough violently. teh bullets came out of him mouth and landed on the floor.
"I don' remember that happening..."

“What the ****, now?” asked the Count.

"We get ready to take on the most sophisticated military base to date."

The plan was simple: Shaku would pretend to be unconsious while Sara drove up to Area 51 pretending to be a US officer. They would be brought into the base and then Earnest and JWolf would pretend to be tresspassers. They would take out their 'captors', which would send more men to investigate, allowing Sara to be able to get access to the lower levels with Shaku. Eventually JWolf and Earnest would slip away, release the aliens, causing yet even more chaos, and they would steal whatever secret they could. Then they would set off a bomb in the facility and escape.

“Good of us then.” said the Count as he headed toward the back door. “Got a truck for us back there, I had a feeling this was not going to work.”

"Do you have an ID badge or uniform?" Sara asked, "Also there won't be many female officers, so your plan might have a few snags in it."

"Don't wory. I have connections."

"Then how about you excersise those connections and get the plan on it's way." Sara commented

"I would if they had a telephone. Tehy live in Nevada. Get some sleep, we're headed back tomorrow."

"Alright, will see you guys in the morning." Sara commented as she headed to her room and fell asleep.

The Count head back to his room or it looked that way. He jumped out of his window and headed to his bike. He took over towards a local fast food joint. They was a person there he need to something from.

About two hours later, his bike pulled back up to the hotel. A green pack was on his back. He jumped back up to his room. And put the same on his bed: two Colt M1911s, a Thompson M1A1, and four big rolls of T-N-T.

Earnest silently walked into his room and laid on hi sbed. He knew he had been shot before, he just was too busy to notice what its efrfects were. So he was invulnerable to conventional strikes. He slightly wondered what unconventional means could hurt him...But in the meantime...It was time to sleep...

The Count was in his room, he was a child of the night to some people but he was a walking God. A true vampire that can walk both the day and night. He turned the little TV on and started flipping the channels.

The news came on; Earnest and Sara were on the news.
"Earlier today, two criminals broke into a Governmental facility and caused havoc. They later hijacked two vehicles and attacked two US soldiers. Any information on the whereabouts of these two people..."
Sketches of Earnest and Sara were displayed.
"Will be rewarded."

“Now, I knew something was up with them.” said JWolf. “Robbing Fort Knox would work better then any reward. But I will see if they post the reward.”

He waited for the number to report their location and ask how much the reward is.

The number is 555-3620. Any information leading to the capture of these two criminals will be rewarded."

The Count pick up the phone in the room and dialed the number. He waited for somebody to pick up on the other side of the line.

"Crimewatchers hotline, how may I help you?"

“I’m calling for that reward of those two people broke into a Governmental facility and caused havoc.” said JWolf.

“How much is it?” he asked.

"One thousand five-hundred, sir."

"Oh...I saw them heading towards the Texas-Mexcio borber." said JWolf. "In a red pickup truck."

"Thank you, sir, we will look into that. Have a nice day!"
She hung up.

The Count just chilled for the rest of the night. He put notes on each of his new allies’ doors. ‘Meet me in my room, JWolf.’

Earnest woke up the next morning, scratched his ass, and went to knock on Sara's door to wake her up. He saw JWolf's note and knocked on Sara's door anyway.

She'd been up for a while, watching kids shows. She got off the bed, walked over and peeped throught the peep hole. Seeing Earnest, she opened the door, "Yes?"

JWolf waited for them to arrive at his room. So, he could hand out the guns.

"S'time to wake up. And the County wants to see us. I'll wake Mr. Islam," Earnest told her.

"Alright, who'se room?" She asked

"The big mutant vampire dude?"

"I'll meet you there then." Sara replied, slipping on a pair of shoes on she headed over to the Count's room.

Earnest poked Shaku's soft, leathery alien skin.
"Squidface. Wake up."
Shaku moaned.
"Wake up, Dr. Muslim."
He poked him again. Shaku figeted. Earnest kicked the bed.
"Do I have to start reciting Statanic rituals?"
"Don't you dare," Shaku mumbled. He sat up and looked at Earnest.
"I need coffee."

"I'll meet you there then." Sara replied, slipping on a pair of shoes on she headed over to the Count's room.

“Morning Sara.” said the Count as he opened the door. “Come in and have a seat.” The Count had the door open for the others. He head back over to the chair near to the bed. Under the covers were the guns.

Shaku stood up and put on his claok and groggily followed Earnest into Jwolf's room.

“Morning, guys.” said the Count as Earnest and Shaku walked. The door shut behind them by itself. He pulled back the covers to show the other the weapon: two Colt M1911s, a Thompson M1A1, and four big rolls of T-N-T.

“Pick your poison.” he added.

Earnest picked the Thompson and Shaku decided that bearing the TnT would prove to be quite useful.
"You'll never get me now, coppersh!" Earnest said, laughing.
"Oh, I had fun in the Mafia."

The Count laughed at Earnest. "This is going to be fun.” he said out load.

Sara took a seat on the indicated chair.

"Need a gun or do you have some sort of unknown power we ought to know about?" Earnest asked.

JWolf opened his duster; his Colt M1911s could be seen with his Samurai sword. “Got my firepower.” he said.

“Sara, take one of the pistols.” he said. “I bet you going to need it.”

Sara picked the pistols, strapped on the holsters and holstered the guns.

“We ready to have some fun.” asked the Count.

"Well. Now we need a car."

"How do you propose we get one?" Sara asked

"The same way we're been getting them. Just have someone else do it," Shaku replied.

“I have two cars waiting.” said the Count. “They are in the back alley. Got them for the same person as the guns.”

"Aww, I like stealing cars! I like pissing people off..." Earnest replied, sounding a bit disappointed.
"Is that how you get such a alrge car collection?" Shaku asked. Earnest stared at him with a look saying, "Huh?"

Sara smacks Shaku up-side the head, "Stop trying to cause a paradox." She said with a grin.

Earnest lifted his finger and said,
"I think I may have a new hobby."

Sara just groaned.

“Well, go steal you a car then.” said JWolf as he got up. “One for them is big enough for Shaku to lay down in. Remember that Sara is taking him back to Area 51. The keys are waiting in the car.”

He started towards the door, “Earnest and I attack at a different point. Good luck.” he said. He opened the door and walked out into the hall.

Next thing he did would make the others looked at him like he was nuts. He kicked the other door that was right across form his room down and walked into the room. He jumped out of that room’s window and got into one of the cars, he fired it up and took off out of the alley.

Earnest followed and jumped out teh window after him, expecting the car to still be there. It had to be the most painful split ever performed.

JWolf hit on the brakes and flipped into reverse. “Oh…sorry about. I though you were going to steal you a car.” he said.

"Yeah, I know, I should have said something," Earnest said in a high-pitched voice.

The Count floored it again and took off out of the alley. He got onto the interstate and headed towards New Mexico.

Earnest led himself up, relocated his joints, dislocated them again so they wouldn't pinch blood vessels, relocate them again, and spotted a car to steal.

"Come on Shaku." Sara said

Shaku yawned and followed Sara to the second car.
----
Earnest crept up to the car. A 1946 Ford. Good as any car. He opened up the driver's side door and pulled out a picking knife. He jabbed it into teh ignition and turned. The car started right up and he drove away, laughing at the shouting man behind him.

Sara had Shaku lay down in the back, had him tied up, appearing tight, but quite a bit of slack.

"Do I really have to stay this way until we reach New Mexico or Nevada?

"Just checking to see if you can get out of them." Sara replied

Shaku squirmed and was suddenly out of the ropes.
"Yeah, that's easy."

"Good, but for the trip you should cover up." Sara commented

Shaku pulled his cloak up and laid down on the floor and fell asleep.

Sara began driving toward the general location of A51.

The Count drove that 1946 Chevy truck like it was play toy. He would make it to Area 51 before the others.

Earnest tagged behind the Count, almost catching up at times, but he had yet to see his vehicle. They drove for a score and one hours, all of them refueling at least once. The Count arrived just outside the base, waiting for Earnest, but Sara and Shaku showed up before he did.

Once they were close/far enought, Sara turned to Shaku, "Want a chance to stretch your legs before getting tied up?" She asked

Shaku nodded and opened the doors and stetched right there on the floor of the car, his long body coming out of both ends.

She waited as he stretched.

Shaku finsihed stretching and sat on the side of the car and asked,
"So where's Earnest? I thought he was ahead of us."

"I did stop a bit away from the base, he's probably with the Count." Sara replied

The Count walked behind a huge rock near them and said “Nope, not will me. We played a game of tag for a little ways coming him.”

“I don’t know where he is, now.” said JWolf.

Suddenly, a large cargo airplane, its engines aflame, whistled above their heads and crashed onto the base's airstrip.
"I think we've found him," Shaku said.

“I see.” said the Count.

He hopped back in the truck and took off to Area 51. He crashed through the fence as soldiers shot as him. He turned towards the airstrip that Earnest chased in. JWolf was stopping the bullet before they hit the truck. So, the truck had no bullet holes.

"He really should be locked-up if he pulls stunts like that." Sara commented shaking her head at Earnest sillyness.

As the Count got there, he saw several soldiers dragging an unconsious Earnest away from the crash and several wounded airmen into the base.

Shaku turned to Sara and said,
"Quickly, we haven't much time."

"Alright." Sara said, "Still same plan?"

Shaku nodded.
"We haven't much time."

As the Count got there, he saw several soldiers dragging an unconsious Earnest away from the crash and several wounded airmen into the base.

As JWolf made it to the airstrip, he turned the truck to the right and rammed an army jeep for the rear end. Doing that make the jeep hit another jeep in front of him.

The Count jumped out of the truck with both pistols draw and pointing at the soldier dragging Earnest away. “Drop him or you’re gone.” said the Count. Using his mutant power, he formed a force field around him that could stop bullets form enter but that allowed bullets to escape.

The soldiers looked at each other and smiled. The flung Earnest at the Count and ran as fast as they could.

Shaku nodded.
"We haven't much time."
Sara tied Shaku up in the same manner as before and headed to the gate.

The soldiers looked at each other and smiled. The flung Earnest at the Count and ran as fast as they could.

An evil smile went arcos JWolf’s lips as the soldiers ran for him. He hostler on of his pistol and lend down to Earnest’s level. “Earnest, wake up.” he yelled. “We got a job to do.”

Earnest opened his eyes, smiled, and went, "Boo!" followed by his had, holding a knife, headed for the Count's throat.

The Count was surprised but didn’t care about the knife at his throat. “Get up. You know cutting my throat would not kill him, only piss me off.” he said. Plus, the pistol was on Earnest’s groin.

JWolf got up and looked around, “Where do we go?” he asked.

Earnest didn't seem to hear. He jabbed the Count in the throat with the blade.

That just make JWolf mad, he took by his throat and threw him in the burning wreckages of the crashed plane. He pulled the knife out with his left hand, a little blood ran out. Then the cut started healing up.

“I told you that would just piss me off.” yelled JWolf.

Earnest just smiled and charged at the count with no weapon drawn.

JWolf watched Earnest run at him. He locked his eyes on him and started manipulating the bloodflow to the brain. It would cause aneurysms or unconsciousness.

Earnest's eyes grew wide and started to glow as he was ten feet from the Count. He jumped in the air, way too high for a normal human, and began to land. Suddenly, there was a loud bang of a shotgun being fired as another Earnest shot teh otehr with a shotgun, followed by a volley of bullets from the Thompson.
"NOBODY FUCKING CLONES ME!" he shouted with rage. The imposter Earnest brushed himself off and stared curiously at Earnest.
"You're supposed to be-"
Another volley of Thompson bullets.
"No, I ain't dead. And you shouldn't exsist, asshole!"

The Count looked at both of the Earnests. "Point me to the place where the aliens are being held, Earnest." he said. "Then have fun with your evil twin."

Earnest pointed quickly towards the base and continued firing the Thompson at the imposter.

Sara unsnapped the cover on the holster of one of the pistols as she arrived at the gate to Area 51.

Despite the fighting, there was still a platoon of men at the gate.
"Can I get some authorization, Ma'am? This is Federal Property and we're in a bit of a situation here."

"Have something that you guys want." She replied

The soldier smiled and his eyes went to her chest.
"Which would be?"

"No." She replied, "Let me talk with someone who doesn't think with his little brain."

He looked back up and smiled.
"Sorry, but I gotta know or you're under arrest, Ma'am, unless I see some 'proper' ID."

"Then feel free to look." She said, gesturing toward where Shaku is.

"Damn, how'd you catch that sucker? Alright, OPEN THE GATE!" the soldier shouted.

"Found it nearly passed out in the desert." Sara replied, "It was gibbering something." She said as she drove in.

Once out of listening range/sight of the soldiers, she apologised, "Sorry for calling you a gibbering it."

"No problem," he replied, "It's just a menial insult."
As they were headed in, the Lieutanant spotted Sara and recognized her and started barking orders. Bullets began to whiz by the car from the soldiers.

She ducked down and called out, "I have your alien."

One soldier jumped on the hood of the car, grabbed onto the roof and staretd to open teh door. He was almost in when Shaku got up and punched him in the chest, making him fall off.
------
Earnest realized he was out of bullets for the Thompson and swapped to the Shotgun. He pumped the rest of his ammo into the clone and then teh gun itself for a weapon. His clone got up close to him and his clotehs appearantly had spawned a handblade of some sort and sliced Earnet's shotgun in half. Earnest whacked his clone on the head with the weapon and ran.

Sara tossed one of the guns to Shaku.

Shaku caught teh gun, squeezed his finger into it, and picked off teh soldiers by legshots one by one.

Sara weaved around making it difficult to be shot at.

Shaku began to get carsikck and puked out the window.

She spun round so the car was pointing away from the base, "Why didn't you tell me you got carsick."

"I didn't know," he replied, "I'm used to riding in more high-tech vehicles."

Sara just shook her head.

Earnest felt a jab of pain as his clone stabbed him in teh back with the knife. He twisted around and caught his enemy in a full-nelson hold and proceeded to twist his clone's kneck. There was a crack as his head spun around three hundred sixty degrees and it passed out. Earnest felt the wound. For teh first tiem in his life, he was bleeding, but the wound ahd healed.
"Well, now I know how I can die," he said to himself.

Sara tossed Shaku an additional clip as soon as he stopped tossing his cookies.

Earnest pointed quickly towards the base and continued firing the Thompson at the imposter.

“Okay.” said JWolf as he took off towards the base. Both Colts in his hands and ready to shot a soldier right between the eyes.

The soldiers ducked and quivered. Earnest and Jwolf, he knew, were invulnerable to conventional fire. He didn't want to die for no reason.

Seeing that the soldiers were backing off, “This is my base, now.” he yelled. He walked around like he owned the place.

The soldeirs didn't disagree or agree in any way. They simply focused on killing Sara and capturing Shaku by this point.

That is when it hit him, he had to allies that could not stop bullets like him or take the hits like Earnest did. He turned to see Sara driving that car like a mad man or should I say woman.

He shot a soldier in the head then holstered his pistols and took the soldier’s rifle. He started opening fire at the soldiers near Sara.

Sara had bailed out, pulling Shaku with her, getting the truck between the guards and them.

His shooting was interrupted when he found himself being thrown into the air by a very large alien, standing about twelve feet tall with purple fur and very large teeth. It screamed and started to throw US soldiers around. Earnest knocked out a Sargeant and stole his large Bayonet and charged at it. Shaku started to shoot at the creature, but this only infuriated it.

JWolf went flying and land on his feet about fifty feet form when he was just at. “What the **** it that?” he yelled. But he tuned to moved to add back up at Sara’s location. As he moved, he took soldiers down left and right.

((Any FT nation who might have had their alien scouts roaming around Earth at this time period, I think it would be productive if you joined.))
Earnest repeatedly found himself being knocked away in a similar fashion as Jwolf was as he jabbed the knife into the monster.

"How many aliens are there in 51?" Sara asked Shaku.