NationStates Jolt Archive

OOC:Help me out on the cities
IC:
In Henceland Omega

In a seedy run-down tenement building five men and one woman of mixed nationality are planning several bank robberies. The man in charge, Mike James 34, from MadderMike, a minor El-Cosa-Nazi cell leader, is organizing the operations. The goal is to raise money for El-Cosa-Nazi to hire more mercenaries.

Mike James "Ok, remember lots of gun fire but don't hit anyone if you can help it. The police will not waste much time on a plain old bank robbery unless an innocent is killed. Bud, you drive the car" Bud McLelish, 21, from Manarth nods his head. James continues "Aly you provide cover" Aly Barbara, 25, from Iran nods her head.

James goes on "Youse other three get in the bank first and watch what happens, no guns, wait for the police to see how they investigate and give them false clue, height, weight and so on.

James "Get your ski masks, use the MP5/10 25 round magazines"

-------------------------
The three observers enter the bank and stand in line. Five minutes later what seems to be two men in ski masks enter the bank, each one fires two short bursts of 10mm automatic gunfire at the cameras located in the corners of the bank. The taller man shouts everybody down on the floor. The shorter of the two jumps over the counter and with a large garbage bag scoops out the money from each of the teller's cash drawers. Then walks into the open vault and scoops up several large bricks of cash, puts them in the gargage bag and exits to the lobby.

The tall man shouts "Everybody stay down for ten minutes or we will shoot you" for added emphasis he fires a long burst over the counter. They leave and the squeal of tires is heard in the street. The three observers continue to lie on the floor.

the Supreme Consul and the Chancellor are watching ANN and Rumpsfeel's news conference in Edenstein. As the shots were fired, the two looked on in disbelief.

SC Brandt: My God, this is going insane! People shooting each other at press conferences.

Chancellor Andrews: Sir, I may be new to this post, but is it just me, or is this all just plain ludicrous?

Brandt: Yes, it is, and we don't even know if Emporer Ed is actually dead.

Andrews: At least Empress Carolyn is in a position where she can communicate to the outside world, unlike the vice Chancellor who is always going to an "undisclosed location"

Brandt: Yes, Chainy is always off somewhere isn't he, but that's beside the point. Would you rather see Ulonov or Zofia in control of Edenstein, James?

Andrews: I personally would rather see Ulonov, he's navy and that's a good thing.

Brandt: You and your service prejudices...but, I think either would be good, but I don't really know that much about either.

Andrews: Well, the next legislative meeting is about to begin, so I need to run off anc exercise my control over it.

Brandt: Goodbye James, (the chancellor leaves the room, the SC calls to his Chamberlain) Louis, I need you to bring me two shots of the finest bourbon in the cabinet, quickly, I need to think.

::In the recently robbed bank, teller Frankie Devron sloly stands back up. He is shaking::

Frankie: J, J, Jesus Christ! In the 28 years I've been working here, I've NEVER been robbed! What happened?

::Teller girl Amy Langram quickly runs over to the phone and calls the police::

Amy: Yeah, we've just been robbed! Yes! I'd like someone over here immediately! ::she hangs up and walks over to Frankie:: Well, they're sending someone, but they said most of the police are trying to quell the anti-government sentiment in the colleges right now so we get the new guy...

::Meanwhile, back in Waka Laka, Andy, Scott, Jeff, and Chuck have managed to rile up a fairly large force of people. Contacting acquaintances at other universties, anti-government groups spring up on a few of the other campuses in HO. The streets around colleges now hold peoplee who walk around shouting for change, shouting for new policies, and some shouting for the overthrow of the current government::

Chuck: Wow, this is going better than I expected!

Andy: Of course: Advisor Fremont's ggone, and the Holy Emperor's too much of a wuss to do anything himself! The police aren't going to stop sonething this big! Especially if we get it bigger!

Scott: Actually there is still someone who could stop us...

Jeff: Scott, you don't get it. There isn't anyone. Even if there is, they can't stop something this big. Unless they call in military force. But you know what that'll do right?

Scott: Well yeah, it'll just make people even more mad, and take forces away from their posts, something His Henceness probably won't do with international tensions building.

Chuck: Jesus, you think too much Scott. Just start rebelling!

Scott: Ok. Corran sucks! ::He walks over to the nearest picnic table and flips it over::

An enterprising WPB man has set up a small stand near the protestors and is passing out literature advocating a capitalist revolution.

"World comercialism is good! Don't turn red! Don't nationalize foriegn investment in your nation!"

He has better luck selling hastily printed Tshirts, with the writing "Corran Sucks!" Showing an adult picture, with Corran's head superimposed on the female.

As he counts his money, he hopes that the rebellion doens't cause inflation.

::press release::

All Andaluciaens in Henceland Omega are advised to leave immediately. The growing discontent may provide a dangerous environment for non-citizens of Henceland Omega.

Thank you

In Henceland Omega

The three El-Cosa-Nazi operatives were talking to the rest of the people waiting in the bank for the police to show up. Andy Hoff from Clydebank Shipyards is the leader of this small band.

Andy "The tall guy must have been 6'4" if he was an inch." The other two ECN operatives agree murmuring their assent. Andy continues "His accent sounded like one of the Indians in Indian Casino Operator." Again the two other ECNs argee. Soon the other people in the bank are adding to the story, height, weight accents...

*Zofia and Ulonov, after leaving the terrorist conference land in Edenstein, Ulonov in Raliegh, Zofia in Santa Cruz. They both rent cars and race towards linux. They both pull onto route 1 at the same time. They spot each other and immediatly speed faster, ramming into each other, they go careening through traffic, still trying to run each other off the road. They reach the palace and they flash their ID badges out the window as they crash through the potective gate. They slam on their brakes and come to a screaching halt, they exit their cars and run towards the building, Zofia tackles Ulonov and then jumps up and runs into the palace... As Ulonov gets up he yells to the gaurds*

Ulonov: GRAB HER SHE'S GONE MAD!!!

*The gaurds try and grab Zofia but she slips past them, down the stairs she runs to the bomb shelter that Empress Carolyn has holed herself up in she bangs on the door and Carolyn opens the slot in the door*

Carolyn: Yes Zofia?
Zofia: Let me run the country!! Ulonov is just going to ruin things! And he won't let you have a tanning bed....
Carolyn: No tanning bed.... *she turns away from the door and throws up* Ok.. you can run the country Zofia.. just till Emperor Ed gets better...
Zofia: He's dead though.....
Carolyn: No he's not... *throws up again* Well.. I've got to go.. Days of our Lives is on... Bye! *She closes the slot in the door*
Zofia: YES YES!!!
*Ulonov appears in the stairwell*
Zofia: Ha!!! You old goat! I'm In charge now!!!! YES YES!!
*Ulonov looks at her sternly as 4 MP's come down the stairs*
Ulonov: Arrest her.. she was trying to murder the Empress...
Zofia: No no! Carloyn Said that I was going to run the country...
Ulonov: Throw her in the brig..
MP: Sir.. we don't have a brig...
Ulonov: Jail.. whatever... just get her out of my sight.
*Zofia is put in handcuffs and taken away, she begins yelling in Russian at Ulonov*
Ulonov: Now.. to more important things.. like building battleshps....

::People in the streets are startled by the T-Shirts of Corran, but the more riled up the crowd gets, the more T-shirts they buy. Scott moves away from the rest of the group and goes back to his Soils class. The others continue to stir rebellion. Police come to the scene and break up the gathering::

Police: All right! Everybody move along! Get back to your classes! Who's in charge of this? ::the people look around, but Andy, Jeff, and Chuck are now gone too. The students begin to run back to classes. The policeman looks at the WPB enterpriser:: What in God's name are you doing? Who are you? Are you a student here? Identify yourself!

The West Palm Beach man throws the Tshirt he was holding up to the ground in feigned disgust. "How could someone profit at a time like this!" He cries, hamming up the act. "I think the person that was selling these abominations ran that way." He points off towards the campus. "Thank goodness you showed up, I didn't know what to do about these holigans."

*Deep in his chamber, a dark shadowy figure turns to his associate. This figure is none other than Admiral Spina Bifida::

Bifida: It's time we did something. We've been dormant for too long. But now that we've reunited our two old nations into one terrible nations, it's time to do some killing.

Associate: Of course. Whom should we start with? It looks like Henceland Omega's ripe for the pickings.

Bifida: No, not this time. We dealt with them. Somebody different. Somebody who won't be expecting anything.

*He looks at a map of LETI and points to a nation*

This one! Get our armies and ships ready to leave at once!

*He grins evilly, as the associate runs off to do his bidding*

I'm back!

OOC: Whew! A LETI nation. Yet another benifit of LOTI. Anyway...

IC: The lease of facilities and harbors in both Port St. Lucie and Royal Palm Beach to the Dubelco navy has begun. Port St. Lucie is on the north of WPB, near the CoC and FA controlled (DPM) territory. Royal Palm is in the East, near Northern Brittania (Manarth) and FA mainland. Not to mention Balderonia.

We hope Dubelco enjoys the amenities provided by WPB, and the leave facilities being constructed off the main base by enterprising WPB corporations. The Rapids Water Park and Lenguine Country Safari (A WPB offshoot of the BJ Land gardens) should offer a nice way for your seamen to blow off some steam, and some of their paychecks too.

Ziggy has been having a field day with the local events transpireing in LETI. He'd been training Mike (of M&MS) how to, like a parrot, repeate any leader's name from memory, and tell what government he belonged to.

Ziggy: Okay, Confederate States of Featherstones America?

Mike: Jim White?

Ziggy: No! That's the "Everyone Loves the White Family" guy! And I can't believe you watch that racist drivvel. Don't let it come up in the polls please. Well, maybe if we're at a place that has close ties to FA, but still.

Mike: Um...

Ziggy: Come on, I know you know this one. You've already got so many. Come on! This one's the easyest save Dubelco.

Mike: Oh! Jake Featherstone!

Ziggy: Good. Now lets run through the list again.

He shuffles his notecards. Mike has been trailing in the polls since the beginning, but now he wasn't by much. Not in the least from the influx of money, and aid from Autoingen. Ziggy was constantly amazed at how much his previous employers wanted Mike in power. If it was held today, he figured the election would be a tossup. Whoever's people got to the polls would win.

Suddenly Ziggy had a great idea...

Later that day... On MadderMike TV

Deep Anouncer Voice: Mike Frod has come up with some wacky ideas in the past. He even wanted to limit gun control. Would you consider giving up the weapons that have kept you safe for all these months?

::Screen had been showing pictures of anchient MadderMike cartoons, and now cut to unarmed people walking in the streets. As they are doing so, people dressed in Mike Frod masks ran up, and began robbing them::

Voice: Can you really trust this man with your right to bear arms?

::Screen cuts to Mike (of M&MS)::

Mike: I'm Mike of Mike and Mike Shipping. Did I approve this ad? You bet I did!

M of M&MS HQ

Ziggy: You see, doesn't have to be real, or the truth, but when has the people of MadderMike cared? You're not #3 in "Stupidest Nation in LETI" for nothing. It'd probubly fool Manarthians for a few days.

::In the Hence Palace, Corran is sitting on his throne thinking about all the events of late. He keeps coming back Ed's assassination, and his theory about it. Ruri comes into the throne room::

Ruri: Your Henceness we have a situation brewing.

Corran: You mean the talk of rebellion?

Ruri: It's a Revolution Your Henceness.

Luna: How do you figure Ruri?

::Suddenly, there is a loud bang at the front door of the palace. Shouting can be heard outside the throne room. A moment later the throne room doors swing open and about 37 people in a row enter in. Most of them carry either torches or pitchforks, but some are armed. Outside the door, a few dead guards lie on the ground::

Corran: Oh... my...

Luna: How'd they put this together so quickly?


::A man with a gun walks to the front of the group. He points the gun at Corran's head::

Man: Holy Emperor Elwood Zev Corran, my name is Zed Carmine. I am putting you under citzen's arrest in the better interest of the people of Henceland Omega. The rest of your administrators are also under arrest.

Corran: But why? What's going to happen to Henceland Omega?

Zed: Well, there's a man here that will take care of things for you... ::A man steps forward. Corran and Luna gasp::

Corran: Seargent Slotter!

Slotter: It's been a long time Corran.

Corran: But...

Slotter: This rebellion activity was the perfect chance. While Yamamoto and Fremont are in Eastern Detroit and Muyo's occupied in Waka Laka, I could hardly waste the chance. Take them away, but don't kill them... yet...

*The Edenstein Seal appears on televisions all over the region, and then it zooms to Ulonov sitting at the Emperors Desk, he has put on the Emperor's medal*

Ulonov: Goodevening LETI, I come to you tonight, a greived man, our great country in Chaos, protesters, insurgents and assasings running amuck, and even worse.. trechory from within, Lt. Zofia has been placed under military arrest. On hearing of the tradgedy that had befallen our beloved Emperor, Zofia and I raced back from the Terror symposium to take the reigns of tne country, when I returned I found Lt. Zofia trying to assasinate the Empress Carolyn, she is now in custody....

Comrades, I will make sure that you are safe, as of now I am completly locking down the country, no one will be allowed in our out without special permission from the military. This will continue until the murderous fiends are found and delt with appropriatly...

Goodnight LETI and remember, Edenstein will protecte you.

*the screen flashes out*

::Back at the bank, the police officer files a report about the robber. He mutters to himself how easy this case should be, especially since there aren't that many Indian Casino Operators that visit HO. He walks out of the room and back to his police car::

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

::In Waka Laka, Scott and the others come out of their classes. Surrounding Jenny Rom College are tons of police cars. They look around at each other::

Jeff: Well that didn't take long...

Chuck: How long untill the press arrives?

Scott: Well if I know the press, they were probably here before the police. If we get arrested, Tom and Diane will have us plastered all over...

Andy: Well, there's nothing to lose now. THE GOVERNMENT IS OPPRESSING THE PEOPLE!

::The college begins to riot::
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

::Across the nation, colleges begin riots that the police try to contain. In the chaos, Avalanche walks out of the Hence Palace, with Corran, Luna, Ruri, Hoover, Bart, Sigurd, Laura, Meis, Nori, and Mr. T in handcuffs. They put them on a transport helicoptor and fly them to their secret hideout, where they are placed under careful supervision. Carmine calls down to Eddie in Eastern Detroit::

Carmine: Eddie! We've done it! If you can somehow do something about Yamamoto, Uzuki, and Fremont, we'll have total control over everything in this nation!

Eddie: Great! We've got plans in the works now...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

::In the HO Channel 2 Newsroom, other Avalanche members take over the station. They leave Tom, Diane, and Val in their positions, but they are now only allowed to report what Avalanche tells them to. No word goes out about the Revolution, the college riots, or the breaking news that a group of college students recently blew up a bridge in Mia::

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

::And on the southernmost point of Tifa Island, one single plant sprouts from the ground::

*Tom Brokejaw, who is sitting in a cafe watching the protetests goes back to his fill in the word puzzle*

Brokejaw: Hmmmm three letter word for a four legged animal that dosn't like mice and likes Catnip.... hmmm..

*scribbles in the box and then relizes his word dosn't fit, so he draws another small box next to the others* F I S H! YES!! GO ME!

*His cell phone rings, it is the NBC News theme, he picks up the phone and looks at the number, his face goes ghost white he answers the phone*

Brokejaw: This is Tom Brokejaw from NBC News...
Phone: Tom, this is Tom Brokaw NBC News.. we have a mission for you... rumor has it there is political turmoil in HO, and you are there... we need you to cover it.
Brokejaw: Yes sir! I'll do my best...
Brokaw: And Brokejaw, don't mess this up.... *click*

*All over the region television screens flash on to a piece of notebook paper with NBC News scribbled on it in green and purple crayon, at the bottom it says "With your host, Tome Brokejaw, the paper disappears and Brokejaw appears on the screen, about five feet back... he starts to talk and then the camera falls off whatever its sitting on. he rushes back to fix it then pops back on the screen*

Brokejaw: I'm Tom Brokejaw NBC News... I am coming live to you tonight from Henceland Omega where there is massive riot going on... and rumor has it that rebel insurgents have placed the Henceland Omegan administration under arrest and a new government under *looks at note card, a man by the name of Slotter, the citizens have rushed the government buildings and taken them prisoner..

*He ducks a brick that is thrown at him*

Now I have one of the angry protesters here... come here come here

*A college aged student wearing a DDR Shirt appears on the screen on the back it says Breakdown with the number 145 under it*

Now son whats your name?

Student: Stephen Kerestes! And I'm angry!!!

Brokejaw: Why?

Student: I just am!!!! BAHH!!! Throws molotov Cocktail at a statue of the Emperor* Old Elwood has gone on long enough!!!! I'm glad someone finaly took him out!

Brokejaw: Is their any particular reason why?

Student: *pauses for a moment and looks blankly off into space* Because I was beat as a child.... in the name of the Emperor..... *runs off crying but not before throwing another molotov cocktail at the statue which burns up*

Brokejaw: Well thats all from Henceland Omega, we'll bring you more as it happens.

*Empress Jessica, sitting in her palace is watching the announcement on ENN about Ulonov taking power in Edenstein, she flics it off and turns to her defence minister*

Jessica: I want you to send an expiditionary force across the border into Edenstein, the time is now....

Minister: But Empress...

Jessica: Just do it... I know what I am doing.....

Minister: Yes your highness.. *he walks off mumbling about it being that time of the month*

Jessica: Ohhhh... and run that spot on the news...

*The screen flashes with the LETI news logo and Ed and Carolyn are sitting at their desk as usual*

Ed: I'm Ed Dubiel
Carolyn: And I'm Carolyn Baker
Ed: And this is LETI News for May 11th 2004

Carolyn: Todays top story is a video tape that was sent to us from what appear to be state sponsered Edenstein Terrorists... lets look...

*The Screen flashes to a group of Men standing around, they are wearing camoflage outfits with Linux penguins on their shoulders, the ring leader of the goup appears on the screen with a mask over his face, they have a man on his knees with a blind fold over his eyes. The soldiers have a gun to his head*

Man on knees: My Name is Victor Stufgin, I am from Ashtabula Ohio in Counterpoint, I run a small buisness there.... I have 2 kids, Emily and Zach, and a wife by the name of Galina...

Ring Leader: This man is what is wrong with everything that counterpoint stands for.... he goes to work, feeds his kids, is a good citizen... why TO SUPPORT THE UN!!!!

Man on knees: Please Let me go... let me go... let me go....

Ring Leader: This is what will happen to all UN people.. *he fires the gun once into the mans head, he falls over in a pool of his own blood*
Edenstein will no longer tolerate UN opression in the region...

*the screen flashes back to Ed and Carolyn*

Carolyn: This gruesome video was send to us today....

Ed: We'll be right back after these words.

*The screen flashes to commercial*

*On the Edenstein border Elements of the 3rd armored divison and 4th Mech Infantry move across the border into Edenstein under cover of darkness*

Today's Manarthian Press Briefings:

Manarth recognizes Ulonov as the new leader of Edenstein's interim government. We congratulate him for new appointment, and deplore Zofia's attempt to assassinate the Emperess, though, in hindsight, we should have seen it coming.

Manarth deplores the current rebellion taking place in Henceland Omega and asks the Emperor Corran does everything necessary to maintain stability in his country.

Manarth also deplores the current efforts by Counterpoint to take advantage of Edenstein's weekened state. Manarth stands behind it's allies Edenstein and Henceland Omega, and while we respect a nations right to join the UN, we believe that your nation has gone too far with your negative adds and overt threats to Edenstein's soverignty.

And we are moving the 1st Fleet, under the command of Admiral Tim Jakeway to Edenstien waters. Some of our ships had mechanical difficulties, and citing the Fei Fung Wong Treaty, are putting into Edentein ports for repairs.

Manarth has no comment on Dubelco's recent aquisitions at this time.

*Admiral Ulonov is sitting at his desk, smoking a cigar with his feet up. An aide comes running in out of breath*

Aide: Admiral Admiral! Counterpoint has sent an expiditionary force across the border! They are headed for Santa Cruz.

Ulonov: *takes another drag on his cigar* Destroy them... run them down, destroy them, make sure no one is left alive.

Aide: Yes sir..

*along the border 8th Armored engages the Counterpoint forces, the Edenstein tanks consists of 30 T-84U and 20 T-90 tanks, a handful of apache gunships and other assorted Mech infantry vehicles, they engage the tanks and quickly begin to pound them. The counterpoint forces quickly turn tale and retreat back across the border after being chased, Captain Graining radios back to HQ for further orders when they reach the border.*

Graining: Zulu Yankee Whisky this is Penguin one requesting orders, counterpoint troops have whithdrawn across the border.

HQ: Penguin one this is the Nest... orders are to pursue counterpointian forces across border and eliminate.

Graining: Orders recieved,

*He radios the rest of the squad and they set out across the tarmac, they lose sight of the couunterpoint forces and follow them in for about a half hour. Until they completly lose contact with the opposing forces, Graining stops the squad and looks at his maps*

Graining, now what the hell.. where could they have gone.. *picks up the radio* This is Penguin one to Nest, we have lost sight of the enemy please....

*but before he gets out the rest of the sentance, a HEAP round penetrates the tanks armor and vaporises the crew, from all around the column Counterpoint M1A3 Tanks open fire on the Edenstein tanks, they had been dug in in Tank Trenches to mask their infered signiture, they open fire on unmercifully on the Advancing tanks and knock out 20 in the first opening volly. The Edenstein forces quickly slam their tanks in reverse trying to get out while the still can. One of the lead tanks rolls over a land mine and explodes into pieces. The battle continues through the night as the Edenstein forces try to retreat but are fired upon at every angle, after 2 hours of straight battle remenates of the Edenstein Tank force limp back across the border, their losses have been devestaing, 18 of the 20 T-90's have been destroyed or disabled, and 24 of the 30 T-84U's have been lost with 3 tanks unaccounted for. The counterpointian forces stop at the border but continue fireing across it*

::Carmine takes the prisoners down to the dungeon of Slotter's lair, with the prisoners blindfolded. He throws each person into a separate cell. Only two of Slotter's 12 cells are now empty::

Carmine: Good thing we don't have plans to capture any foreginers...

Corran: Why are you doing this?

Carmine: Oh cut the crap, Corran. If it were up to me, you'd be dead now. But Slotter needs some information from you first.

Corran: So what's his plan?

Carmine: Come now! I've watched FAR too many Bond movies to fall for that. ::As he turns to leave, his cell phone rings. He picks it up::
Yeah? Ok, so what's going on? Seriously? Wait, I don't think I heard you correctly... say that again? Barnhead? Wow, it must be a blue moon. Well, bring them in, we got 2 spaces for them. ::He puts the phone down and walks back to Corran's cell::

Well! It looks like Fremont and Uzuki have been captured by my associates at the symposium! That certainly helps us! And in casy you're banking your hopes on it, no we didn't forget that Yamamoto is still out in the open. But see, we know her well enough. She's going to try to pull some brave, heroic act of idiocy to get you guys out, and she'll fall for any trap we lay out for her. And, just to put you out of your mind, we are sending our folks back out to apprehend her before she does that if at all possible. Rot in hell Corran!

::He walks back out to the lobby where Eddie and the others are casting lots for the prisoners belongings::

*Ulonov is still sitting at his desk, playing witht he Emperors Rubix cube*

Ulonov: Bloody ell.. I don't see how he could spend all of his time playing with this damn thing... *he gets one side all the same color* Yes!

*An aide comes running in*

Aide: Ulonov!

Ulonov: Its EMPEROR now..

Aide: Forgive me.. EMPEROR! The expiditionary force has been almost entirely destroyed!

Ulonov: *Almost swallowing his cigar* What?!?! Get me an Audiance with the Duma, we are declaring war...

Aide: Yes sir! *before the Aide can leave the station that Ulonov had been watching shows the Counterpointian flag on it, and Empress Jessica appears on the TV*

Jessica: Goodevening LETI, as you all know.. we've been showing you the aggressive tactics of the Non-UN Nations and epecially Edenstein, tonight I bring you footage of the agression Edenstein poses us.

*Screen flashes out to lines of burned out Edenstein tanks, troop carriers and Humvee's inside Counterpoints borders. Counterpoint troops are crawling on the vehicles and holding weapons over their heads. An M1A3 tank pulls up next to the burned out hulk of one of the T-90*

Jessica: Edenstein sent a task force into our territory last night to begin operations for invasion. This evidence is undeniable.

That is why, The Holy Empire of Counterpoint has declared war on the Empire of Edenstein. May god have mercy on their souls for their sins and transgressions.

*The screen flashes out*

Ulonov: This means war....... I'll show that b!tch...

*He storms off to the Duma*

McMillian hangs up the phone with Estabi and calls CMO Robert Ionia.

McMillian: Robert! We've got problems.

Ionia: What is it?

McMillian: Edenstein is at war, HO is incommunicado, and if we start commiting troops on a massive scale, Dubelco could take the oppertunity to strike.

Ionia: I already know what you need. I'm on it.

McMillian hangs up the phone, and dials DPM Diego Jenkins.

McMillian: I need you to cover for me, I'm flying to Dubelco.

Jenkins: Okay...

McMillian: Ionia's not to bright, but I had to give him a spot. Listen to Isaskis and Smith, they know what they're about. And for the prophet's mercy do whatever you have to to keep Edenstein alive! I'll be in touch.

He hangs up the phone and calls the Embassy in Dubelco.

McMillian: Listen, tell the Dubelconians I want an audience with their leader. We need to put this cold war on the back burner for a while. I'm sure they'll agree.

Ambassador to Dubelco: Yes Mr. Prime Minister.

He hangs up this one.

McMillian: It'll be a miracle if I pull this one off.

*Admiral Ulonov appears on Edenstein news, in a full dress military uniform*

Ulonov: Goodevening LETI, Edenstein has declared war on the Holy Empire of Counterpoint, their forces where the ones to originaly cross the border and break the unsteady peace that Emperor Ed had forged. We will not stand for this.. we are currently withdrawing over 90% of our forces from Izimbeckwi to help with the cause.

This harlet has been allowed to reign for too long.... we will bring an end to her ways. I have committed 5th army and 3rd Army when it returns from Izimbeckwi to deal with this menace and already have started a blockade of Counterpoint.

We will bring this to a quick and decisive victory...... goodnight LETI

*the screen flashes off*

All throughout Manarthian territory, troops are brought to full alert, as news of the recent declaration of war between Edenstein and Counterpoint is announced. DPM Diego Jenkins is on the TV...

Jenkins: Ladies and Gentlemen, and our proud men and women in uniform... I come before you today to speak of a tragedy befalling LETI. Our ally, Edenstein, who not once raised it's fist in anger against Counterpoint, has been coldly attacked, and falsely blaimed for it's response. I have asked the Upper House to declair full and utter war on our joint enemy, Counterpoint, who has unjustly attacked our great ally.

Already, troops under the Manarthian flag are landing in Edenstein, and the entire 1st fleet is on station to aid in its defense. This is a trying time, and we may yet experience attacks at home. But we will come through this! We will be triumphant! The United Republics are strong!

Many Republics! One Manarth!

::Robert Ionia walks out in front of the camera::

Ionia: We are at war.

As of today, executive order 1104 is in effect. All able bodied men and women between the ages of 20 and 24 with birthdays...

April 4th
October 23rd
March 16th
May 30th
August 31st
August 7th
March 1st
May 12th (happy birthday ed)
July 3rd
Febuary 14th
December 24th
And January 3rd

Please report to your nearest military base to begin re-training. We will be forming vollenteer units as well, for those of you living in Manarth, but not of Manarthian citizenship. Completion of service in these units will grant said citizenship to you.

Also of note is executive order 1105, authorizing nationalization of certain key industries until the current crisis is averted. You will be notified if your industry is included.

Thank you, that is all.

::In the Kingdom of Mirabar, a young couple sneaks out to the coastline for some time alone. The boy, Fritz, looks out on the sea, then at his woman Becky::

Fritz: You know Becky, it's a wonderful time of year. The weather's absolutely perfect, it hasn't gotten to the point of being unbearably hot as LETI gets mid-summer. The sea is breathtaking, and look! The sun's just beginning to set! But most of all, Becky, I have you!

Becky: Aww, you're so sweet! Hey! What's that out on the horizon?

Fritz: I don't know. It looks like some ships of some sort. But that's odd. I don't usually see ships around here... I wonder what it could be?

::Becky lets go of Fritz's hand so he can stand to see better. It is the last time they have physical contact while still alive. Cannon fire from an AEGIS Destroyer blasts the coastline. The next time they come in contact, it is only as mangled flesh mixing together with the sand and shrapnel. Out at sea, Admiral Spina Bifida stands on a command ship looking out as the fleet opens fire on the naked coastline::

Bifida: That's perfect. Kill as many people as you can before they notice what's going on.

Captain: Sir, won't this attract attention from Miabar's foreces?

Bifida: Of course it will! I don't care! Just kill every Goddamn citizen! Remember, your orders are to kill without prejudice. Women and children especially. And if you see kids out with their pets, kill the pets first. Then kill the kids. Then kill the mother. You get the picture?

Captain: Yes Sir.

::The fleet continues to plow the coastline like the fields of Iowa. The fleet comes to the coastline, and marines pour out, ready to rape the land and all that dwells on it::

The following forces have been deployed in an attempt to aid Edenstein forces assaulting Counterpoint...

4th Marine Division
7th Marine Division
43rd Naval Air Wing (F-22)
42nd Naval Air Wing (F/A-18 )

All are based off the 1st Fleet, and have landed during their stay in Edenstein.

::Ritsuko arrives back in Fei Fong Wong and tries calling Corran again. No response. She thinks for a moment, then swings the helicoptor away from the city::

Ritsuko: What the hell's going on? Where is everybody? What's happening? I should land back there and see what's going on, but what if something's happened. Well I've probably already been noticed by air control, but nobody asked me to ID myself. I think I need to go somewhere else. I'm sure any calls I have will be intercepted if somethings gone wrong... but what could've happened? Well, I think I'll head home. Corran knows how to contact me. If I don't hear anything, I'll check things out from there...

::She swings the helicoptor southeast and flies to Junpei Island, being careful not to fly through the airspace of Sabrewulf Base. She lands in the town of Celcia, at her parent's house. She runs in where her parents are crying::

Ritsuko: Mom! Dad! What's going on? Why are you crying?

Mrs. Yamamoto: Oh! RitsukO! We thought they'd gotten you!

Ritsuko: What?

Mr. Yamamoto: We just heard on NBC News that a Revolution is taking place and all of the government had been overthrown.

Ritsuko: Who said this?

Mr. Yamamoto: That reporter Tom Brokejaw...

Ritsuko: Tom Brokejaw? I wouldn't believe a think he says... although... it almost sounds believable. Especially after I heard Citan and Tempest get taken away... But don't worry! I'm here now! They haven't gotten me!

Mrs. Yamamoto: But Ritsuko dear! You won't be safe here! They'll find you!

Ritsuko: Maybe. But I have to take that risk. I have an idea... I need to get on the news and then get back here as quick as possible...

*The mighty first fleet begins operations off the coast of Counterpoint, te fleet is under the command of Vice Admiral Carolyn Baker, (Not related to LETI News Carolyn Baker), she is standing in the command room of the ES: Romanov addressing the 4 Admirals and 20 Captains in the fleet*

Baker: Now.. we have orders to fire on any vessal flying a counterpoint flag... no questions asked. Also we are to begin shore bombardment at these three ports, *points at three cities on the map* thats where our forces are going to be landing to begin operations. Further orders will be sent to you as we recive them.. dismissed.

*the Admirals and captains head to the rear deck where they board a helicopter to return to their respective ships, Baker walks to the bridge just in time to hear the pilot in the Hind-24 chopper radio*

Pilot: We have left the deck... headed towards, what the hell?
*Beeps and alarms are heard going off in the background*
CoPilot: WATCH OUT!!!

*the helicopter loses control and starts carreening wildly about the deck, it pitches sharply to the left and slams headlong into the bridge, it erupts into a massive fireball that rips through it, killing just about everyone instantly, Baker crawls out of the wreckage and barely makes it down the steps when she expires at the bottom of them*

Grand Duke Balder wishes to anounce a diplomatic exchange with Dubelco creating embassies on each other's territory and trade treaties allowing for greater export of Beef to Dubelco.

*Samsylvannia Imperial Palace, Situation Room. The Chancellor and his advisors sit around a large table. The walls are covered in monitors showing everying from troop placements to satellite images to the LETI News.*

Sammek: Okay, give me the situation.

Daniel: Well, the Emperor of Edenstein has been assassinated, no word on his condition, Ulonov is in control now after placing *shudders*, Zofia under arrest for the attempted assassination of Empress Carolyn, there's been a rebellion in Henceland Omega in which Corran and his administration have been overthrown, satellite recon shows a group of warships performing a random shore bombardment...can't say where they came from but it definately looks like the work of Bifida, or at least a fan of his, several nations have joined the UN prompting an Edenstein attack on Counterpoint, some other stuff I didn't have time to read about, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Sammek: Oh is that all, I thought it was something important.

Daniel: Oh, there is one other thing, sir...we have a major problem.

Sammek: What is it?

Daniel: It's a situation or event that promises to have bad consequences, but that's not important right now. A team of geologists working in the crater of Mt. Mediocre have concluded that it is no longer dormant, and we have only days until a massive eruption takes place.

Sammek: So? There are volcanic eruptions all the time in the Samalacians. We evacuate the civilians and help them rebuild afterwords.

Daniel: Mt. Terror and Mt. Frightening erupt on a regular basis, that's true enough, but those are not populated areas and Mt. Mediocre's slopes are extremely fertile...95% of our crop land is located in the path of the lava, as are most of our produce warehouses.

Sammek: Okay so that's not so good.

General Johnny Rico, head of DOS Army: Sir, we can attack and defeat this moutain. It can be under our control in 24 hours if you give the order, sir.

Sammek: What? It's a mountain you imbecile!

Daniel: Actually it's a volcano, and I believe it's already under our control, General. *Rico hangs his head*

Sammek: *sighs* Options.

Daniel: There are no options, sir. In approximately two days, Samsylvannia will be unable to feed itself.

Sammek: My God...

Manarthian forces have begun to build on the island of Manarth, as regular army units are deployed as rapidly as possible overseas. Units based in mainland Manarth, the locks, Northern Brittania, even Eastern Detroit are quickly sent to shore up Edenstein possitions in Izimbeckwi, and toward Edenstein itself.

Meanwhile, onboard the URMS Wainright, Admiral Tim Jakeway is overhearing what appears to be total chaos within Edenstein naval ranks.

Edenstein Lt. Commander: It's a mess over hear. No one knows what is going on. We're still trying to figure out who here has the most seniority.

Jakeway: Well, best of luck figuring it out. If you need someone to carry out your mission, we'd be honored to fill the role.

*on the L-o-E Counterpoint border, 60 Upgraded T-90 MBT, 80 Centrenio Tank Killers, 30 M1A2's, 10 Challenger and 10 Lepord II tanks, and various other Humvee's, jeeps, strikers, Upgraded T-55 Infantry support tanks, 5000 infantry, and a huge supply escort has formed up along with the 4th Marine Divisions from Manarth. This force is being supported by the 87th Tactical ground support wing consisting of A-10's and SU-25's, the 103rd Intercepter squadren consisting of SU-37's and modified Mig 29's and the 42nd and 37th tank buster squadrens consisting of A-10's and AH-64 Apache helicopters*

*The General in charge, Brigidier General Kelso begins confering with the manarthian division*

Kelso: Allright... now we are going to be making a pincer move into the country, our first target.. *points at map laying on side of a T-90* is Alpha Omega... Yes I know wierd name for a city, but this is the communication hub for the southern part of the country. Now we are going in behind the 184th airborne who is going to secure the bridges into the city for us and the fly boys are coming in ahead of them to take out the airports and military outpost.

*he spits on the ground next to the tank*

Now Alpha Omega is a good 4 hour jaunt into the country, there is not much in the way of infrastructure between here and there but I am expecting heavy defence.

Manarthian Marine: Any other forces advancing?

Kelso: Yeah, the 2nd Army outside of Santa Cruze will be crossing the border after we've taken Alpha Omega and basicly flashed them... we are the bait gentlemen.

*The Marines and the few Edenstein soldiers who are standing around kinda nod*

Once they move forces in to beat us.. 2nd will hook arouund and pound them in the arse.... any other questions? *he looks around*

Alright, we are moving out in one hour! Lets move!

*They quickly pack up and head towards their units, and right on schedule, the massive amount of men and vehicles start advancing towards Alpha Omega*

*Out at sea in first fleet mayhem is ensuing, with most of the upper echelons of the fleet being wiped out the highest ranking officer in the fleet is Commodore Perry, who being wary of helicopters chose not to go to the meeting. He turns on the radio to hear what his orders are, he dosn't expect what he hears*

*Radio*
Ohhh my god.. they are all dead!
*Radio*
This is ES: Romanov requesting help from any near by Edenstein Vessal,*static*
*Radio*
The lapdance is always better when the strippers crying*
*radio*
Everyones dead man! We're all gonna die!!!
*radio*
Attention this is Lt. Commander Tupalov, their has been an accident, repeat, the Admiral is dead..
*radio*
COME ON EILEEN OHH I SWE
*He flicks off the radio and looks around the bridge of the ES: OSX, a nimitz carrier and then looks to the watch officer*

Perry: Any incoming bogeys?
Off: None sir, not on radar..
Perry: How far is the Romanov from here?
Off: 20 miles sir...
Perry: Send a helicopter to them and see what the hell is going on, and get me whoever the hell is in charge of this country...

*the officer radios back to edenstein to inform them what has happened, the message gets up to Ulonov's desk*

Ulonov: Hmmm.. Bakers dead... well I couldn't stand that b!tch anyways. Get me that Manarthian fleet..

*Encoded telegram*
Yankee Zulu Hotel Victor 9

To: URMS Wainright, Admiral Tim Jakeway
From: Admiral Ulonov, Edenstein Central Command
Re: Orders

Steam to location of first fleet and contact Commodore Perry on the ES: OSX. Upper echelons of First fleet have been eliminated and need strong leadership. Use first fleet as you see fit in the disposal of our enemy.

Ulonov

*End Message*
Yankee Zulu Hotel Victor 9

::Ritsuko takes an unmarked plane out of HO and to the LETI News headquarters. She runs into the station where Edward Dubiel and Carolyn Baker are getting ready for their evening broadcast::

Ritsuko: Mr Dubiel! Ms. Baker! I'm glad I caught you! I'm sorry I didn't call earlier, but I have something I want you to put on the news tonight. ::she pulls out a large wad of cash, thinking to herself, "These newsmen are corrupt, they'll do anything for money... I hope!":: You can screen the video beforehand if you like. It's breaking news from HO!

::Ed and Carolyn look at each other and shrug::

Carolyn: The riots aren't new, and there are more important things to cover. Why do we care about a video you're bringing in?

Ritsuko: It's not about the riots... it's about a, a scandal!

Ed: So? there are scandals all the time. Bring it to Brokejaw... Tell me again why we should care?

Ritsuko: Because Edenstein News doesn't know about it. You're the only ones...

::Ed and Carolyn look at each other and then back at Ritsuko again, this time with much more interest::

Ed: So what's this scandal that you're talking about?

::Ritsuko gulps. "If people take this seriously, I'll have a LOT of explaining to do to get out of it, but it is the only way..." As she hands the video to Carolyn, she reaches into her skirt for something, but quickly pulls it out when she sees the lustful look on Edward's face.::

Ritsuko: Well here, I'll show you. ::She pops in the tape. The tape is of Ritsuko, wearing her usual uniform, but with an added red bandana around her head. She looks at the camera and sighs::

Taped Ritsuko: Ladies and gentlemen, people have often wondered about me, and rumours have spread rampantly, but I'm here to give you the real scoop on the rcently arrested Lieutenant Zofia and myself. What you may not know about the two of us...

::Ritsuko quickly turns off the tape and hands it back to Edward::

Carolyn: I think we've got a story!

Ritsuko: ::sighs:: Thanks... Just make sure it gets on the news tonight! ::Ed and Carolyn run off to their program director, babbling something about "ENN can't touch this!" and "How raunchy do you think it gets" and "Do you think there are videos?" Ritsuko shakes her head, and reaches back into her skirt to make sure the bandana is still there, then rushes back to her helicoptor and takes off:: Hmm... I wonder wher I can go that's safe, but accessible... ::She plots a flight path towards Dubelco::

*Inside C&C*

Aronar: *Eating popcorn* There sure is alot of stuff going around LETI now. HO riots, Edenstein war, Counterpoint declaration, Symposium, Samsylvania mountains thing...

Andy: Should we do anything sir?

Aronar: Eh, we'll take the HO way for a bit and just kinda see how things unfold.

Andy: I see...well there are quite a few telegrams here sir from a few different places.

Aronar: Really, lets see? *flips through them* Manarth....Communist Rule....Manarth....West Palm Beach...Baulderonia...*stares* Empress Jessica? Hmm...*reads them* Well, I assume the military standpoint ones have been taken care of?

Andy: Yes sir, trade of Uranium has commensed with WPB. Baulderonia has begun its embassy as well. A crew has been sent to CR as well.

Aronar: Excellent. What of this Edenstein war fiasco business?

Andy: Well Ulonov has assumed command, and has mounted an offensive with Manarth to take out Counterpoint. McMillian is also on his way to discuss political matters with James. He should be here soon.

Aronar: Excellent. That should be fine for now?

Andy: What of the war sir?

Aronar: Well, both want our help, and we can't help both so....hmm.

Andy: Sir, Manarth asked for help not Edenstein.

Aronar: Ulonov is to proud to ask for help, but Manarth pledged their assistance willingly so they were basically reinforcements, I doubt if he'll actually ask. *Pauses* Oh, since we now control the base on the St. Lawrence, have the Trotsky Class Carrier station itself there, we'll send more ships eventually.

Andy: Yes sir. Anything else?

Aronar: Yes, find you know who.

::Sgt. Slotter paces in front of Corran's cell::

Slotter: Now, Corran. Actually, we're beyond that. Elwood. You know what it is I want don't you?

Corran: No, actually I have no idea what you want except me dead. But since you haven't done that yet, I assume you want something else first.

::Slotter blinks::

Slotter: I should slap you around for playing mind games with me, boy.

Corran: No, I seriously don't know.

Slotter: Well then, I'll tell you. Then if you play dumb I'll give you a few battle scars. The fact is, you alone of the people here have the wisdom of LETI.

Corran: The what?

Slotter: The wisdom of LETI.

Corran: If by that you're referring to some sort of super nuclear weapon or treasure, you're sadly mistaken. You know HO has no nuclear weapons, and while we're relatively well off, we don't have the treasures like the Shah of Eastern Detroit.

Slotter: If I wanted those, I could've gone to any nation and gotten them. You don't realize how far my power stretches.

Corran: Well I found out it apparantly stretches to Fei Fong Wong...

Slotter: Shut up! I want the secret of LETI. The power! The key!

Corran: Maybe if you stop talking so cryptically. Who are you trying to impress? You already have everyone except Ritsuko captured. If we were going to be impressed, it would've been then.

Slotter: But I'm not speaking cryptically! You have the key!

Corrran: You TOOK my keys, or don't you remember that?

::Slotter walks over to the cell, lets himself in, grabs Corran, and throws him into a corner. As the cell opens, 16 guards rush into place. Slotter glances at the guards and smiles::

Slotter: I'm no idiot. I've trained Avalanche well. Even when I do something stupid like walk into a prisoner cell they know what to do. ::He picks Corran up again and smacks him::

Corran: Do you expect me to die?

Slotter: No Mr Corran. I expect you to TALK! Now TELL ME! WHAT IS THE KEY TO LETI!!!!

Corran: I have no idea what the hell you're talking about! Am I the only person in the world who knows? How do you know if I don't even know?

Slotter: ::slaps Corran again:: No. You know, Emperor Ed knew. Chancellor Sammek knew. And back in their days, Emperors Mem Zart and Gryposis knew. But Zart, Gryposis, and Ed are gone. And you are my prisoner.

Corran: What on earth are you talking about? Those are most of the Treaty of Linux members. Is it something in that?

Slotter: ::punches Corran in the face:: No! You know PERFECTLY well what it is! ::He backhands Corran::

Corran: Ow! Geeze, if I knew, I'd've told you just so you'd stop hitting me!

Slotter: No you wouldn't. Because when you tell me, I'll kill you!

Corran: Well that's certainly an inspiration... How about you try some positive motivation!

::Slotter continues to beat Corran senseless. After a while he stops and exits the cell::

Slotter: I'll give you 24 hours Corran. After that, if you still won't tell me, I'll kill one of your advisors every hour untill you do.

Corran: Sounds like a Bond film to me... Can I at least talk to them? Maybe one of them knows about it and can jog my memory.

Slotter: I'll let you call one advisor. But I hope you know the call will be bugged.

Corran: Can it be two? Because if Luna doesn't know, Ruri probably does.

Guard #4: Ruri? The little kid? What does she know?

Slotter: Idiot! She's the most intelligent of the group! Smarter than this thing in front of me...

Guard: The door?

Slotter: No, Corran. ::He turns to another guard:: Demote this man. I want him cleaning toilets starting tomorrow... ::Turns back to Corran:: All right. Since I'll hear every word you say, I'll let you do it. but no funny business!

Corran: No, I think the funny business is right in front of me...

Slotter: Laugh while you can Corran. We'll see if you still laugh when your people start dying! ::He exits the cell block. The guards resume their normal posts::

Corran: The key to LETI? And Sammek's the only other living soul that knows. Geeze that's scary... I wonder what he's talking about...

*Empress Jessica sitting in her throne room watching the battle commence out side of Alpha Omega she begins to call up reinforcements from the middle of the country to crush the expedtitionary force*

Jessica: Excellent, everything is going to plan, move the A3's up to Alpha Omega for the counter attack, and make sure then when they enter the city, those RPG's are ready.. don't allow any of them to escape. Also.. start operation wet fish...

*In Alpha Omega the SAM, AA, and Flak Batteries come alive, fireing at the incoming Edenstein Transport planes that are dropping in the paratroopers, M1A3 Tanks pull into their tank trenches so as to not expose the vital parts of the tank to the oncoming forces. TOW anti tank weapons have been set up at strategic posistion along the stretch into town and the city has been darked out in preparation for the oncoming battle,

*At thirty miles out, IV Corps engage the Manarthian Division with M1A3's, TOW's, A-10's and AC-130 Gunships strafing the advancing troops, also directly infront of the troops is a large high density mine field consisting of multiple types of mines*

*At 25 Miles from the city, II corps engage the Edenstein Divisions with the same that IV corps is engaging the manarthian divisons*


--Meanwhile back at the ranch, umm locks--

*A small freighter with an Edenstein flag attached to the back mast pulls into the locks by niagra falls and right up against the retaining wall, the captain, an old sea dog waves to the soldiers on the sides, they appear to suspect nothing, they are as far from the war as anyone could be, but not for long... the captain goes below decks to look at the engine and then engages a lever, he takes out a cigarette and starts to smoke as a small LCD screen lights up on the engine block counting down to zero*

Captain: I always hated the sea.....

*The screen reaches zero and the ship explodes in a massive fire ball, the front of the ship was compacted with a 2000 pounds of C-4 in a shaped charged towards the locks*

::The LETI News logo flahses onto the screen while the music plays. Then screen then shoots to Ed and Carolyn sitting behind the newsdesk::

Ed: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I'm Ed Dubiel.

Carolyn: and I'm Carolyn Baker, and this is LETI News. Our top story today, Invasion takes place in the peaceul Kingdom of Mirabar, but first this! ::She plays Ritsuko's video. Ritsuko stands beforethe camera. Dressed in a white blouse, a long blue uniform skirt, a blue tie, and a red bandana tied into her red hair. She begins to speak::

Taped Ritsuko: Ladies and gentlemen, people have often wondered about me, and rumours have spread rampantly, but I'm here to give you the real scoop on the rcently arrested Lieutenant Zofia and myself. What you may not know about the two of us are that we are in fact, Secret Lovers. Ever since the first time I met her, I knew there was something specal about her. The way she handles herself on official business, the reponsibilities she holds, and her dedicatios to her work. I knew right away that she was someone I could look up to. but now, it's more than that. The way she looks at me when I'm around makes me feel like more of a person. We've always shared a common bond. She is everything I strive for as a leader, and as a person. She completes me! I can't help but dream about her every night, and I count down the hours untill I can see her again. Her dazzling beuaty somehow penetrates me! I'm sure most of you men out there know what I'm talking about!

::Ed Dubiel can be heard grunting in agreement. Ritsuko pauses a moment, and hangs her head::

I realize that at this point she has become the enemy of Edenstein, but I plead to everyone to find out the real story of Zofia. Find out about her life, her passions, her needs, before you judge her. Perhaps it isn't the most honorable thing to do when she makes mad love to me underneath my T-74 tank. But when I'm with her, I see her true ambitions. I see the love she has for me, for the deceased Emperor Ed, for Edenstein and all of LETI. Thank you. ::Tears well up in her eyes. She glances down at her watch, and then the tape ends::

Ed: Wow! Remember folks, you heard it here first! On LETI News Channel 5! FIRST! Before ENN News even thought about something like this! WE were the ones to bring it to you! That's right, US! LETI News Channel 5! We'll be back with our top story and more, after this.

::It breaks to a commercial for LETI News's 'Good Morning LETI' with host Jeremey Martin ::

*President Peter and Brian the dog watch the LETI News transmission*

Peter: Oh come on! All that talk about lesbians and we don't even get to see any boobs!

Brian: Peter, it's the news! They're supposed to be telling stories about the world!

Peter: And what's a more important story than boobs!

Brian: My God Peter, Ritsuko's only 17. *He claps his hand to his face* My God! She's only 17! Even if she does get out, she'll be arrested for molesting a minor!

Peter: No Brian, you've got it wrong. She's a governement official, not a miner!

Brian: There really is no hope for you is there?

*the station chief watches as Leti News air's the Ritsuko spot on the news, his jaw drops as the "Makes mad love under my T-74 tank" comes across the air. He almost has a heartattack, he then yells for a lacky*

Chief: WTF! WHY DON'T WE HAVE THAT SPOT!?!?!?! WE ARE THE PRE-EMINANTE NEWS SOURCE IN THE REGION! THEY JUST TRUMPED US!!!!

Lacky: Sir, they where here first....

Chief: LISTEN TO THE WAY ED SITS OVER THERE AND MOCKS US!!!! MOCKS US!!! WE BOUGHT THEM!!!!

Lacky: Well sir.. we need something just as juicy.....

Chief: *Stares off into space* I've got it! Secret lovers alright! We'll show those muckrakers over there at LETI News how to report the news!

*The ENN Logo flashes on the screen and stephani schuster appears sitting at her desk*

Schuster: This tape was given to us anomously by a source deep within Edenstein, lets watch..

*The video flashes to what appears to be Empress Carolyn sitting in a room with the light darkened out*

Caroyln: See, everyone has taken credit for the whole Emperor Ed assasination but the true story is that Ritsuko is the one who did it. I had her do it.... I wanted to get that fat slob of an old man out of the way so that I could have both of my lovely ladies to myself. Zofia is just wonderful, the way that her uniform fits her, and the way that when Ritsuko and her kiss and make sweet sweet love under that tank...... It makes me melt.. and of course... I have to whip them appropriatly when they get out of line, you can't just teach these kids anything..

*The darkend shape takes a long drag on a cigarrette*

Now with the Emperor out of the way, the three of us can live peacefully... *Womens voice in the background that sounds like Ritsuko*

Ritsuko: Come on honey!!! Its time for our spankings!

Caroyln: Ok gotta go..

*Screen flashes back to schuster*

Schuster: You've heard it hear first a Menage Twa of power, corruption and greed.. And now to sports!

::Ritsuko flies towards Dubelco and looks at her watch::

Ritsuko: Well, about now LETI News should be putting that outrageous story about me and Zofia on. I'd like to think that nobody would believe it, but Ulonov sure seems to be convinced of it, and everytime I'm in Dubelco they eye me funny. Hmm... on second thought, maybe I shouldn't head into Dubelco after all. I need to go somewhere where they won't expect me to be. ::She looks at her LETI Map:: What's near Dubelco, and far away from home... Aha! Rialto! They should be able to keep me for a couple of days!

::She changes her course to fly towards Rialto. She shakes her head and sighs::

Of course, if people do believe it, how am I going to explain my way out of this one? I just hope this scandal thing doesn't get too out of control...

In the main streets of Elyria in Dubelco, a tall man about 6'2" with brown hair and brown eyes is walking down a strip mall. As he passes bye an electronics store with out facing TV's LETI News is on and people are watching the latest break.

Bystander: Ritsuko and Zofia?

The tall man stops and watches the screen a as the tape ends, catching the jist of it. They then go on about the recent happenings in Henceland Omega, then break to sports.

Tall Man: I see...

In the main streets of Elyria in Dubelco, a tall man about 6'2" with brown hair and brown eyes is walking down a strip mall. As he passes bye an electronics store with out facing TV's LETI News is on and people are watching the latest break.

Bystander: Ritsuko and Zofia?

The tall man stops and watches the screen a as the tape ends, catching the jist of it. They then go on about the recent happenings in Henceland Omega, then break to sports.

Tall Man: I see...

Supreme Consul *Screeen Flashes the Seal of tehe Supreme Consul*
::Brandt is sitting at his desk as he begins to speak::

My fellow Andaluciaens, I come before you tonight on a matter of the gravest national importance. We've all been watching the war between Edenstein and Counterpoint on television. We have all heard the charges by both sides over who attacked first. I now come before you to show you the truth.

Ever since Counterpoint began its pro-UN campaign we have maintained a heavy concentration of intelligence forces near the Edenstein/Counterpoint border. These include 3 intel ships, 2 full spy plane squadrons, 4 recon satellites and the 17th patrol battle group. I can now confirm, with the aid of infrared, radar and visual pictures that Counterpoint launched the first strike.
*holds up pictures of military vehicles crossing Edenstein border from Counterpoint.*
Edenstein's counterattack quickly burst into Counterpoint's territory, thinking that a successful blitz manuever had been made, insted, they were lead into a vicious trap.

*holds up more pictures*

As we can all clearly see from these pictures Counterpoint attacked first under the cover of darkness. They may have defeated normal visual detection methods, but they cannot escape radar and infrared imagery. Counterpoint claims that they responded in self defense, but it is clear that they launched the first strike.

At this time I am ordering all 96 million soldiers of the Andaluciaen regular military forces to full readiness, all troops on leave are to be on their bases withing 6 hours. I have also issued the national draft order, all males of 18-28 years old must report to their local draft offices daily to see if they have been selected.

We will be giving aid to the Edenstein/Manarth alliance non combat aid. We will be providing them with logistical support, chiefly in the form of the Andaluciaen Transport Division. On the screen you will see a list of all forces being deployed.

*list scrolls on screen*
Air Assets
100 C5A Galaxy Transports
100 C17 Transports
100 C130 Transports
400 Heavy Lift Chinook Helicopters
300 Blackhawk Helicopters

Maritime Assets
100 Heavy Transport Ships
100 Light Transports-ultra low draft
10 Escort Carriers-to stage fighters off of

Ground Assets
3rd Transport Corp
3 divisions worth of heavy, medium and light transports as well as fuel bowsers and other vital logistics equipment.

*screen shifts back to the SC*

We will also be providing them with with all necessary fuel, food, medical and weapons supplies needed. We wil be supplying them with anything, short of nuclear weapons, they need.

Lastly, this situation calls for order. As of 11:30 tonight, a national curfew will be imposed. Be in your homes by this time. No other rights are being suspended.

I ask for your cooperation in this time of trial. I ask for the strength that can be found in our people. Thank you, good night, and God bless Andaluciae.

::Back at the Hence Palace, Slotter and Carmine are back from their hideaout for another look around::

Carmine: You realize Corran's going to make his phone calls now while you're out don't you?

Slotter: I'm not an idiot, Carmine. I know that. But I also know that his phone is tapped, there are plenty of guards outside his cell, and I put John and Will in charge of watching the people on both ends to make sure nothing odd goes on. And when I get back he'll have an hour or two before I start killing people off. I'm sure the death of his advisros will jog his memory!

Carmine: Ok, just making sure. ::He looks around:: You know, as sacred and important as this palace is, Corran sure doesn't have any lavish signs of wealth. Where does all the money go? It certainly doesn't go into the defense...

Slotter: No, Corran throws his money ito his schools. He pushes these damn students harder than any other nation in the country. And look what it got him!

::As they speak, a lowly defense administrator scurries up to Slotter:

Random administrator: Um, sir. You're the one in charge of the country now, correct?

Slotter: Yeah, that's right. Why?

Administrator: Ok, then I'll inform you that we've received a shipment from Unum Veritas.

Slotter: A shipment of what?

Administrator: A shipment of.... well, ships... About 8 carriers and a large number of aircraft.

Slotter: Really? Hmm... Corran may have known that something was going on, but it was too late. He was banking on the fact that things always arrive faster here in LETI than they do elsewhere in the world...

Administrator: What should I do with them?

Slotter: Put them in port on Junpei Island. Carmine, I have an idea.

Carmine: What's that sir?

Slotter: We need to make another purchase from Unum Veritas. A large one of great magnitude. Since they'll get here quickly, we can get the military ready...

Carmine: Ready. What are you trying to do so quickly?

Slotter: Well at first I'll just see how loyal they are. But if it proves to be successful, we may just be able to take out a few more birds with our stone...

::Back in his cell, Corran decides to make his first inquiry. He motions to the guard that he wants to use the phone. A few moments later, the guard walks in the cell with a phone, while more guards come to stand watch. John enters the hallway with a headphone set listening to the call and watching. Corran calls Luna's prison cell, where Will is listening and watching::

Luna: Yes your Henceness?

Corran: Luna, I have to ask you something. Slotter's going nuts. Says I know the secret to LETI. I hold the key. He's beating the living crap out of me, but he won't kill me untill I tell him.

Luna: So why tell him?

Corran: I don't know. I don't think he'll really kill me just yet, but morethan that. I seriously don't know what he's talking about. ::He proceeds to explain the interrogation from the day prior::

Luna: Chancellor Sammek's the only other living sould that knows the secret right now?

Corran: Yeah. What does he know, that Ed, and Zart, and Gryposis knew, that I know, but don't remember?

Luna: I, I'm sorry, I don't know either.

Corran: What does he mean by the secret of LETI? THe key to LETI? Obviously whatever this is, its bigger than just our nation. And of course, Slotter's not stupid so he won't even tell me what he plans to do once he has the secret. So I'm at a loss. And to tell you the truth I'd rather have him kill me and give you guys more of a chance than to watch you all die.

Luna: But if you do have the secret to LETI and you give it to him, nobody in LETI will stand a chance!

Corran: But why? What does this secret do?

Luna: I don't know. But if it's that important, it must give him incredible power!

Corran: Well like I said, it's not a weapon treasure or anything.

Luna: I'd love to help you Corran, but I can't. I don't know either..

Corran: Well that's ok. I though it was worth a shot. They're letting me call Ruri too.

Luna: Little Ruri? Would she know?

Corran: I don't think she knows any more than you do, but she's surprised me before, so it's my only other option.

Luna: Corran, do you think any of us are goingto survive this whole thing?

Corran: ::pauses for a moment:: No.

::He hangs up the phone, nods to John, and prepares to call Ruri::

Under the cover of darkness, the Andalucien transports, heavily laden with equipment, take off for Edenstein, the transport ships, also fully loaded with supplies, are escorted by elements of the 9th fleet to any available ports in Edenstein.

*In the Carianadan Imperial Palace, Buffy, Deanna, and Kelly have conferred for a meeting*

Buffy: *sighs* Well, it looks like we're going to have to start working again. I have reports that Emperor Ed has been shot, and there was an assassination attempt on Empress Carolyn, among other things.

Deanna: I guess we're lucky everyone's forgotten about us.

Kelly: That's usually the case, but I like it better that way. It means we don't have to work as hard.

Deanna: I'll say.

Buffy: You guys, shut up. We're going to have to stay on top of things from now on. Ulonov's in charge of Edenstein. Do you really want him in charge of us too? Dragging us into a war with Counterpoint? *sighs again* We'll have to declare ourselves sovereign again. The alliance hinged on Emperor Ed's power, and now who knows where he is?

*The conference room doors swing open. Empress Carolyn, looking haggard, her hair a mess, staggers in*

Carolyn: I know where he is.

Buffy: Carolyn! What are you doing here? It's dangerous out there! How did you get here without getting killed? There's assassination attempts on you! You were supposed to stay in Edenstein!

Carolyn: Do you think I was going to stay there? I was hiding out in the abandoned wasteland of Sluts R Us, I mean Anaverse GHS... whatever happened to that skank anyway?

Buffy: Eh, doesn't matter.

Carolyn: Anyway... I saw this horrible program on TV, with this woman claiming to be me, and SMOKING at that. Come on, I'm pregnant! Does anyone really think I'd try to harm the future heir to Edenstein before he's even born? *shakes head* So I had to come back to Carianada and take control of my country again. *she pauses, leans against the doors... starts to sniffle* Ed is in bad shape. I can't tell you where he is... this room could be bugged... anyone could probably finish him off in one shot if they knew where he was... I don't know what I'll do without him...

*Carolyn starts bawling*

Kelly: *comes over to comfort her* Here, sit down.

Carolyn: I never was fit to run this country... all this war and crazy stuff going on all the time... I can't believe I've lost Julian and now I could lose Ed any minute... most girls get dumped... I get widowed... *she continues bawling*

Buffy: Oh, dear.

Deanna: Hormones.

Kelly: Uh-huh.

Buffy: Well, now what?

Deanna: I don't know...

::Corran makes his second inquiry to Ruri. The guards stand watch and Will and John again listen in::

Ruri: What do you need, Your Henceness?

Corran: Ruri! I have a question for you. In your short time here with us, do you happen to know what the secret of LETI is?

Ruri: The secret of LETI?

::Corran again explains the interrogation and the call he made to Luna::

Ruri: He won't tell you what it is?

Corran: No. He says he's not being cryptic, but he sure isn't explaining to me what it is.

Ruri: So why did you call me and not Chancellor Sammek?

::Corran blinks. He pauses for a moment::

Corran: Um... Well, uh, I don't know.

Ruri: Obviously if he's the only other person that knows it, he's the one who should know what it actually is.

Corran: Oh... uh, right...

Ruri: Will they let you contatct Sammek?

Corran: Um, I don't know. I suppose I could find out. And I guess even if he doesn't tell me I'm no worse off than I am now...

Ruri: Yes.

Corran: Ok. ::He hangs up and turns to John:: Hey, is it possible for me to call up to Chancellor Sammek? He knows what it is, and could probalby tell me!

John: Well I'd have to ask Slotter first. I can't authorize that. Besides, you know Chancellor Sammek. He never gets back to people, and rarely answers anyone anyway.

Corran: Yeah I know. But I seriously don't know what's going on. I'm not just trying to hide it.

John: Well, I'll ask him. But don't get your hopes up!

Corran: Ok...

The second flotilla of ships leave the Andlauciaen harbors and head to Edenstein contolled ports in Izimbeckwi, these ships are empty, and there are enough to transport a very large force. They are escorted by the other half of the 9th fleet.

Error posting. sorry

The newly formed 28th, 92nd, 93rd, and 94th Infantry Divisions are traveling through the 7th lock to replace the Edenstein force at Izimbeckwi when the 8th lock explodes. Or rather, the freighter near it explodes.

Immediately, the general in command calls the troops to disembark and head for the 8th lock on foot. Calling for Andaluciae or the 1st/3rd Manarthian fleet to ferry them to Izimbeckwi, they arrive at the LETI shore.

As McMillian lands at Dubelco, he picks up a page from his intellegence corps.

[code:1:1c8dd6421b]
Information is beginning to trickle out from Besieged. Party seems to have been successful. Big Man MIA. Boulders may be responsible.

Transmissions detected from known Boulder opperatives. Looking for a "Key". Code means unkown. Big Man may know. 80% sure Big Man is alive.
[/code:1:1c8dd6421b]

McMillian: Well, so much for optimism.

He drafts a quick message to his people in Manarth.

[code:1:1c8dd6421b]
Plan B.
[/code:1:1c8dd6421b]

He spies the Dubelco Ambassador at the bottom of his ship's ramp.

McMillian: Once more unto the breach.

*Mobile Command Center Alpha, evacuation headquarters currently located north of Mt. Mediocre*

Random Private: Colonel, thats the last of them, except for a few crackpots up in the hills, the entire area has been evacuated.

O'Neal: Excellent. *He moves to a bank of moniters set up in the command tent.* How is the geological team doing?

Random Private 2: Sir, the uplinks are working perfectly, these monitors show the video feeds, and these show the readouts from the equipment. They're just reaching the crater's edge now.

O'Neal: Can I speak to them directly from here?

RP 2: Yes, sir. *He hands O'Neal the radio.*

O'Neal: Survey Team 1, this is Colonel O'Neal, please report.

Stephen: Colonel, this is Dr. Stephen Kerestes we're now climbing down into the crater. Instruments show that the mountain top has bulged out around twenty feet in places. It doesn't look like it'll be much longer. We're going to take some last minute samples and get out of here.

O'Neal: Kerestes, eh? What is that, Carianadan?

Stephen: No sir, my family's from Henceland Omega. I have a cousin who goes to school there.

O'Neal: Ah, I see. Well hurry up and get out of there.

Stephen: Yes, sir. Wait a minute...this is strange...the sulfur readings are off the charts in here...*On the monitors back at the base, the others watch as the camera suddenly starts rocking. A rumbling is heard in the distance.*...Damn it! Guys, I think we'd better...*The cameras go dark and all the instruments stop registering data.*

O'Neal: What the...*the ground rumbles and equipment starts rattling and falling off shelves. A few seconds later an ear splitting sound like thunder roars down the hills. O'Neal staggers outside in time to see a huge cloud of smoke and ash explode from the mountain. They watch, dumbfounded, as a volcano erupts for the first time in over ten thousand years. Rocks and ash fill the air and the blast flattens everything for five miles from the epicenter. Soon after, molten lava begins flowing down the steep slopes at close to forty miles per hour. In a matter of hours, the entire evacuation area, including most of Samsylvannia's farmland, is consumed by lava. What's not is coated in three feet of ash and rocks.*

The 14th Maritime transport squadron is en route back to Andaluciae when the order came through, they are to proceed immediately to the shore of Manarth, where they will pick up as many of the Manarthian forces as possible. They will reach the pick up point in 7 hours (game time)

*The Edenstein engineers inspect lock #8 door... it has sustained heavy damage but it is still holding water. They drain the locks and begain working on the repair, they send a message to HQ but the head engineer but forgets to encode the message.


Priority one message

Locks in operable, eta for stabalization of lock doors

3 days

Eta for fully operational

1 week

::John returns to Corran's prison cell::

John: Hey Corran, I talked to Carmine about your request to contact Chancellor Sammek.

Corran: And?

John: He laughed. Says that for one, Chancellor Sammek and Samslvannians aren't all that great about letting themselves be contacted. Second, Sammek probalby wouldn't tell you what it was even if he knows. He'd think it better. And third...

Corran: Third?

John: Third, reports are in that DOS has just been hit with a humongous disaster. Mt. Mediocre seems to have erupted, and now hot lava is convering the ground and spreading. I doubt the country will survive.

Corran: You'd be surprised. Nations have survived nuclear blasts and the terrible attacks of Spina Bifida, not to mention surviving CoC in general.

John: Yeah, but Carmine pretty much agrees that you'll get nowhere trying to contact him. But he made a concession. He says that he'll give you one more chance to contact Sammek. He says that if you seriously don't know what Slotter's looking for and Sammek'll tell you it'll make things easier for him. Oh, but that doesn't stop Slotter from killing your lackeys here in about an hour and a half. Good luck! You'll need it! Ha ha ha!

::He walks out and activates the prison phone system again. Corran calls out to DOS and receives Sammek's message service::

Corran: Hello, this is Holy Emperor Elwood Zev Corran with a message for Chancellor Sammek. I'm terribly sorry to hear about Mt. Mediocre, and I'd love to help you. I'll have to see what I can do but I'm kind of in prison. Sgt. Slotter says you and I are the only ones alive with the "key to LETI." He's killing my people untill I find out what it is. Please get back to me when you get the chance. Thanks.

::He hangs up:: Geeze... a volcano! What next?

::Bifida's forces continue to run rampant in Mirabar, killing everyone they see. They have so far met little resistance::

Captain: Wow this is easy. It's like taking candy from a baby.

Bifida: Actually, it's like breaking the neck of a baby. Speaking of which, it looks like there's one that has survived.

::A baby lies crying in the streets. A Crippleproenzastanian private walks up to it. "Shut up!" He yells, but the baby keeps crying. The private picks the baby up and shakes it untill it's head snaps::

Bifida: Excellent. Continue towards the capital.

Captain: Yes Sir. Should we head straight there?

Bifida: Not everyone. Leave a few people behind to search for survivors. And send for a camera crew. I want to start a new "Survivor" game show. When you find a survivor, give them a 5 minute head start with the camera crew before you send soldiers to kill them. Anyone that can get away from the soldiers wins.

Captain: What will they win?

Bifida: A painful death from the bomber that will be flying overhead the whole time. Tell the bomber to not bomb anyone unless they win the game show. Show it on the TV stations around LETI and LOTI.

Captain: Yes Sir.

Mike Squarejaw: MMNews and now a word from our sponsor--

MadderMike Tourist Bureau

Are you tired of people cutting you off on the highway? Come to MadderMike, drive on our multi-lane highways and enjoy the view from your rented Gargantuia SUV. It is large enough to hold a squad of commandos or your entire family. If someone cuts you off at home then gives you the one fingered salute, there isn't much you can do. But here in MadderMike you can open fire on them. Our SUVs come with an optional .50 cal machine gun mounted on top. Grandma can hammer the impertinent while the kiddies watch "Feeding Nemo".

Jay walkers annoy you? Mow them down.

Tired of waiting at a pedestrian crossing for people to quit running red lights? Open up on them.

Remember our police are also the judges. They make judgements on the spot, and they are bribable, in fact it is encouraged.

Tired of hearing someone's cell phone go off in a movie? Open fire, we do.

Our banks are safe. Not one successful bank robbery in three years. Lots of dead bank robbers though.

We have the finest sports arenas in LETI, tired of bad calls in baseball. Robots make all of our calls. Faked soccer injuries, MadderMikian soccer requires blood and bones protruding before a foul is called. Our refs carry heat.

Speed limits? Unheard of.

We do background checks on all weapons purchases, cash only, background checks last as long as it takes to count your money.

MadderMike is a wonderful place to vacation -- Take your boss -- Those are always the most interesting visits.

Remember MadderMikian service people are the politest in LETI/LOTI, they have to be everyone is armed.

::In Waka Laka, the students are going about their business, grumbling amongst themselves. The secret police are everywhere on campus to make sure that nothing gets out of hand. Zed Carmine arrives in a car from Fei Fong Wong. He looks around and walks up to the first officer he finds::

Carmine: I'm looking for Chief Kiyone Muyo. I have news for her.

Random Officer: What news is that?

Carmine: Oh, I'm afraid I have to give it to her personally. It's classified information from the throne.

Officer: But who are you? I don't recall you having power in this country.

Carmine: Well you see I have so much power that nobody knows who I am. I rarely venture out into public you see! But it's that important!

Officer: I'll have to go through the chain of command for that!

Carmine: Oh I don't think you will. Because you see, this whole campus is wired to explode! But I can't say more than that, or they'll hear me!

Officer: Woah! All right. ::He gets on his walkie talkie and calls Kiyone over. Kiyone appears a moment later. As she walks up, a random car drives up and parks nearby::

Kiyone: What's going on? What seems to be the trouble?

Officer: He says the campus is going to explode!

Kiyone: What?!?

Carmine: That's right! Chief, the whole campus is rigged with explosives, and there's a terrorist around with a detonation remote.

Kiyone: Who is it? How do we keep him from setting the bombs off?

::Carmine grabs Kiyone and pulls a gun on her::

Carmine: By not making a move, and coming with me. You see that car over there? Yeah, the terrorist is in that car with the remote. Now if we can just go into that car, he'll give up his detonation device!

Kiyone: Do as he says! Think about the students!

Officer: But Chief! ::Carmine takes Kiyone over to the car, driven by Smucker. Carmine and Kiyone get into the car. As Smucker drives off, something gets thrown out the window. The officers duck, but it bounces harmlessly onto the grass. The demolitions experts get it and look at it::

Random Demolitions Man: It's a placebo. A dud. There were no bombs rigged up. It was a trick!

Officer: We have to alert His Henceness immediately! ::He tries to call but there is no response. The Officer finds his liutenant and explains the situation::

Random Lieutenant: Everybody, forget about the riots here. Back to the Hence Palace! There may be problems for the Holy Emperor!

You might think MadderMike is the crazyest place to live... Think Again!

West Palm Beach was the first, and only Anarchy ever to survive in LETI/LOTI. MadderMike is a dictatorship, without any of the world benchmark civil rights.

In MadderMike, the law can be bribed. In West Palm Beach, you ARE the law, or can be for significant gain as a bounty hunter.

In MadderMike, you're in the middle of LETI. Chaos, havoc, no telling what nation will come under attack next. In West Palm Beach, you are in LOTI. Peace, prosperity, puppets, and nations that have done nothing since "Wayne Left".

In MadderMike, you've got elections to worry about. In West Palm Beach, there is no elections, except for LOTIan Idol!

Come to WPB, and relax!

::Back at Jenny Rom College Jeff, Andrew, and Scott sit in front of the student center::

Scott: Man, what was all that about? We get the crowd riled up, the police show up, and within a day there's not a single one left. What happened?

Andrew: I guess we just scared them away.

Scott: I think there's more to it than that. ::Chuck comes running out of the student center::

Chuck: Hey guys! I just heard on NBC News that the HO government has been overthrown! Corran's been captured and so has the rest of the administration!

::They look at each other for a moment::

Jeff: Man, I was upset about some of the policies, but I didn't actually want an overthrow...

Scott: Yeah, I just wanted some changes to be made.

Chuck: Well we got changes, and you know when Corran gets back, we're gonna be screwed like a drunk whore at a frat party.

Andrew: You know, I was thinking about taking summer classes here, but maybe that's not a good idea.

Jeff: You guys want to go on a 'road trip'?

Scott: To where?

Jeff: I'm thinking to West Palm Beach. At least untill things cool down a bit around here...

::The 4 quickly go and drop their summer classes and grab brochures about West Palm Beach::

Ian Mctavish CEO of Clydebank Shipyards, conversing with the board of directors. "Yae nae, all the garden spots are advertising for tourists now that summer is approaching. We should advertise too."

Sean Campbell Chief Financial Officer "Ian, you know we take any visitor and put them to work in the shipyards unless they are buying."

Ian Mctavish "Aye, lad there is nothing better than welding on a hull at midnight deep in the dry-dock as drunks throw beer bottles at you. Prepare a brochure

*Admiral Ulonov, sitting at the Emperors desk is sifting through his mail, he has recieved about 3 weeks worth of mail all at once due to new restictions imposed for security purposes, he picks up a post card dated 5-7-2004, on a front is a picture of the blossum music center*

Dear Dimitri, Zofia and Carolyn,

Having great time here! Frampton was awsome! Styx said for everyone to get on the tour bus and go to indiana so I figured I would! Take care!

-E-

*He flics the postcard off to the side of the desk and pics up another one dated 5-8-2004, on the front is a picture of indianapolis*

Dear Dimitri, Zofia and Carolyn,

Wow... i didn't think that they could do a better job then they did yesterday... but they did!!! I'm not a big fan of the Nelsons... they get old after a while... ok 5 minutes. They did do the beer song tonight though! Well see you all later.

-E-

*He starts looking though the pile and seeing a number of other post cards from various places he shakes his head and then puts them all off to the side and opens a promising one*

Ulonov: *reading the outside of the letter* You may have already won the entire country of Dubelco!! Look inside for details....

The Manarthian divisions onboard the Andalucaien transports get out at Izimbeckwi as the Edenstein forces board. Wishes of luck from both sides abound as the Edenstein forces prepare to depart for home.

In Dubelco, McMillian awaits his audience with the leadership.

*After the battle with the counterpoint forces a Lt. looks about the battlefield at the burned out hulks of both forces tanks and vehicles, he continues writing in a small notebook when a Major walks up to him*

Lt: *Salutes* Sir I have figures...

Maj: Alright lets have them

Lt: We lost 12 T-90's and 5 Tank Killers.. but fortunatly the A-10's where able to take out a lot of their forces before we got within range...

Maj: What about men?

Lt: Well... we lost *Looks at figures* 234 times two wounded. Most of those come from a troop convoy that got lost and drove into a high density minefield and where ambushed.

Cpt: What about the manarthian marines?

Lt: They faired better then we did they only lost 5 tanks and a handful of support vehicles. Once the counterpointians heard that we engaged and destroyed this flank they pulled back to the city.

Maj: What are their loses?

Lt: We've counted... 16 M1A3's, 5 M1A2's, 5 Paladins and 13 MLRS systems. 560 dead and we captured 313 men.

Maj: Excellent....

Lt: Also... in Alpha Omega our paratroops and spec ops teams have won most of the bridges into town.... but they are holding on by a thread....

Maj: Well lets give them a hand... *Walks over to the hood of a jeep and spreads out a map* Send 1st brigade in on the eastern side of the city and 3rd brigade to this bridge.. *points* Here.. also have the manarthians bring up the left flank to this bridge *points*. Help relieve some of the forces there and buy us a ticket in.

Lt: Yes sir..

Maj: *Salutes* Alright son, get on those orders... *He gets back into the jeep and starts off towards HQ*

Lt: *Salutes and then pulls out his rifle and aims at the Maj as he starts off* Yes sir.... *he pulls the trigger and the Maj falls over dead, the jeep spins out of control and flips over, the LT: then gets on the radio to the Edenstein/Manarthian forces. He conveys completly wrong orders to the forces and sends them all to the completly wrong places. The Lt picks up his rifle and then walks off towards the jeep. The major is now nothing more then a smeer on the sand, the LT manages to flip the jeep and speeds off back to the counterpoint lines*

*At Lock 8 the Edenstein Engineers work day and night to shore up the retaining wall and the lock doors, when the newly settled concrete breaks under the stress and pressure of the water... almost instantly thousands of gallons of water rush back into the lock drowning many of the engineers that where working on it. Another message is sent back to HQ

TM
To: HQ
From: Cmdr Johnson, 52nd Engineer corps
Re: Locks

We have had a major set back in lock reconstruction, the lock door collapsed and reflooded the locks. Operations are continuing but are 1 week behind schedule, recommend bringing in an outside contractor

Cmdr Johnson
52nd Engineer corps

*After reciept of message 2 more combat engineer divisons are dispatched to the locks also a call is sent out to Manarth*

To: Manarthian Engineer Corps
From: Edenstein Military HQ
Re: Locks

We request that if possible some engineers could be dispatched to lock 8 to assist in the repair of the locks. This will facilitate in faster troop deployment to the areas of conflict.

Brig General Alan Tuscov
Head of Edenstein Corp of Engineers

As McMillian meets his ambassador, a convoy of vehicles and a limo arrives. Out of one of the cars a man in a suit gets out and walks over to the 2.

Suit: Mr Ambasssador Mr. Prime Minister, we're here to escort you to the embassy for the diplomatic meeting. Please get in and we'll be off.

He gets back into his car and the convoy begins to makes it way onto the highway.

In Dubelco

Lying prone behind a bush on a hillside overlooking the parking lot where Prime Minister McMillian meets with his ambassador to Dubelco, an E-C-N operative is adjusting his Tac-50 rifle. His orders "Take out McMillian", his nationality, Ex-MadderMikian now claiming Eastern Detroit citizenship, capabilities as a sniper - excellent, luck - poor. He is also lining up a long range camera to record the event for E-C-N propaganda. As soon as the camera is set up, McMillian moves out of range and the operative has to move the camera again.

Everything is finally set up and then a convoy of vehicles and a limo arrives. McMillian gets into the limo.

The operative starts cursing "You Chicken S***, stand up like a man." Odd words from a man hiding to snipe someone. His luck runs out and the pile of rock, dirt and shrub brush he was resting on breaks free and he starts to slide down the hill. Knowing he is exposed and with MadderMikian flare starts shooting at the limo. He manages to get two shots off both headed for the engine compartment of the limo.

As the convoy begins to disembark a man rolls down a hill and starts shooting at the limo carrying McMillian. The others cars immediately rush in front of the limo as men in the cars get out and all open fire with .50 Desert Eagles. 6 men fire on the "terrorist" and hit him repeatedly in multople places. He hits the ground after 4 shots run thru him. The guards rush to him lying on the ground and secure his weapon. 2 other men go towards the hill and recover the camera and rifle. Just before the man dies through blood coughs he can be heard yelling freedom. The one in charge radios for an ambulance and more support just in case. As the ambulance arrives 2 Puma's arrive on the scene and take up flanks on the limo. The convoy moves out for the the highway to the embassy.

*Ulonov looking over some inventory sheets notices something remarkable*

Ulonov: We have one? How... but why? I... I thought they outlawed them.....
*He buzzes jane*
Jane: Yes sir..
Ulonov: Bring the H.O.U.N.D. online....
Jane: Sir.... umm it was stolen..
Ulonov: Well check the security tapes.... I want to know who took it within the hour...

*jane goes back and looks over the tapes for the last time the hound was in the room, she pours through them and then finds the exact date that they it came up missing, she finds it and sends it to Ulonov*

Ulonov: *Watching the tape* I can't belive it.... that little... *focuses on tape* Elements of music??? What the hell?

*buzzes to Jane*

Jane: Yes sir...

Ulonov: Bring me Jay Smerling and Bert Barnhead.....

McMillian: Prophet f***! I'll bet he was after me. ::thinking to himself, but not out loud:: I wonder if I'm safe here in Dubelco. If anyone would gain by causing chaos between my allies, it would be them...

He rides off to talk to Dubelco's leader, wishing he'd brought a gun, or at least had some military training like his father.

OOC: Give me a day to recover from my surgery, and I'll be online Friday, at 10ish.

Manarth has made the following military manouvers...

The 102nd, 114th, 182nd, and newly formed 150th airborn divisions land in Edenstein well behind the front lines.

The 5th Bomber Wing launches a B-1B attack on Counterpoint targets on the far side (away from Edenstein) of their country.

The 1st Manarthian/1st Edenstien Fleet launch joint attacks on Counterpoint targets. (Edenstein knows what targets, I don't.)

Units in Izimbeckwi on the southern front resume their advance, although slowly to test the current level of defence.

::Slotter returns to his hideout in time to see Carmine throwing Kiyone in the prison cell with Tempest::

Slotter: Excellent! How'd you pull it off?

Carmine: Let's just say I played on HO paranoia and gullibility...

Slotter: Good. ::he walks over to Corran's cell:: Well Elwood, where's Chancellor Sammek now? He hasn't responded. I suppose he's not going to tell you is he... Aww, that's too bad. You still claim you don't know the key to LETI?

Corran: I still think you're crazy. I have no idea what you're talking about...

Slotter: You know, Mr. Carmine just told me of a great tragedy. We just captured Chief Muyo, but unforutanately we don't have room for her in my prison! Right now she and Justice Fremont are together, but we can't have that now can we? I guess we'll just have to make some room. Pick a number between 1 and 12.

Corran: Umm... 3?

Slotter: Three. Ok. ::Turns to Carmine:: Cell number three contains Admiral Sigurd... Kill him...

Corran: What?!?!? ::a moment later, a shot rings out::

::Bifida walks up the road to the Mirabar capital building. He shakes his head at the carnage::

Bifida: There's not enough. Not enough people are dead! I still see living children!

::A few special agents hobble up to Bifida:

Bifida: Why aren't you off killing pets?

Agents: Sir! We were mugging citizens in the deep south like you ordered, and we found something that might be of great interest to you! Unfotunately we don't have it anymore.

Bifida: What the hell are you talking about?

Agents: We were attacked by strange creatures from far away. Very strange, almost humanlike animals... But we think you'll be interested to pursue...

::Press Release to All LETI Media Outlets::

As of 20:00 EST all Andaluciaen territory shall be considered under total lockdown. Any contacts that are not pre-identified and pre-permitted will be destroyed. A quarantine zone around all Andaluciaen shipping shall also be respected or harm shall come to those who violate the 2 Km radius of safety unless pre-identified and pre-permitted to do so. All Edenstein and Manarthian forces are exempt from the requirement for pre-permission, but still must identify themselves with properly when approaching all Andaluciaen military assets. Thank you.

MadderMikian News Network MMNN

"Mike Gaptooth here and the election is underway this morning. Early exit polls are showing Mike Frod and Mike of Mike and Mike Shipping are running neck and neck. The voting sites are reporting a very heavy turn-out and we here at MMNN are projecting that as high as 10% of the voting population are expected to vote."

"Michelle Airhead here, there were some reports of gunfire earlier this morning but it turned out to be two groups of immigrants discussing the relative merits of jaywalking vs crossing at the crosswalk. Any further comments, Mike?"

Mike "The election has taken some heat away from the cheating controversy at Michaelgrad University. It seems as if a graduating senior has gotten straight A's without cheating. Several Deans at the University have vowed to get to the bottom of this. The Dean of Student Affairs has stated he will find at least one class where this student cheated. "It is the MadderMikian way." He was quoted.

MadderMikian News Network MMNN

Mike Gaptooth "Breaking news report, It seems someone in a Frod Bloated Walrus SUV tried to run Mike of Mike and Mike Shipping over as he was making he way to vote. Mike was at a crosswalk and managed to fire one shot from his .445 Dan Wesson pistol. The shot broke the hardened windshied and killed the driver. The shot went right between the drivers eyes. As news of this event has traveled, the exit polls are showing a surge in voting for Mike of Mike and Mike Shipping."

Michelle Airhead "The real question MadderMikians are asking is what is Mike's last name. Stay tuned for our exclusive interview with the star of Everybody Loves the White Family.

::McMillian walks out of James Dubelco's office with a frown on his face. His walk is dejected::

McMillian: ::muttering to himself:: Can you believe that a**hole. He turned me down streight when I offered partial ownership of the locks. What more could I offer.

::He spies the Manarth News Network camera crew nearby::

McMillian: Well here goes.

::The camera crew quickly runs up to McMillian::

Ralther Brainright: Mr Prime Minister! Mr. Prime Minister! What is the results of your negotiations?

*As McMillian is talking to the cameras, behind him about 10 men in suits with drawn .50 Desert Eagles walk towards him.*

Suit: Prime Minister McMillian! Back away from the civilians!

*The suits surround the press and McMillian. The gates to the estate close and lock as guards outside run in front of it. The soldiers driving the Pumas start up and point the guns directly towards the group.*

Suit: Prime Minister McMillian, you are under arrest by the Confederation. Come with us peacefully or we will use force. *To the others* Get these cameras out of here!

*They drag McMillian away back towards the estate where a car convoy is waiting. They shove him into one of them as the convoy begins to move down the driveway. The gates are now reopened as the press have been pushed out. The Pumas take the lead and end of the convoy as they begin their long drive towards Military HQ.*

*All over Alpha Omega their is scattered resistance to the approaching edentein troops but for the most part it is lite, deep in the city two of CP's generals are burning files and destroying computer files*

Gen 1: Burn everything.. we can't let them get it.. and tell our troops to pull out of the city... are most of the civillians evacuated?

Gen 2: *Deleting files on a computer.. getting discusted he smashes it with a baseball bat* Yeah for the most part.. just some older people that don't want to leave..

Gen 1: Forget them its not my problem... Order the troops to immediatly retreat but continue to fire as if it where a tactical retreat....

Gen 2: Your not considering what I think you are are you?

Gen 1: Yes I am.. let the Enemy take the city...

Gen 2: May god have mercy on our souls...

Gen 1: *Pulls gun from holster and shoots general in the back of the head* This is war......

*All around the area Counterpoint forces withdraw from battle and the city... taking up a defensive perimiter about 20 miles from the city, in the north, 3 flights of B-52H Bombers, 2 Flights of B-2's and 2 Flight of B-1's warm up their engins and get full load out of bombs*

*In Edenstein square, even though there is a war going on preperations for the founders day celebrations begin. Edenstein Square is in the process of being cleaned up and polished, benches are being replaced, streetlights re painted, roads and concrete being repaired. A young women with shoulder length black hair and eyes a deep blue color looks on in intrest... she tightens her overcoat (Even though its summer everywhere else in LETI the temp in Linux at the moment is 25 degrees with scattered flurries) She looks at the tow moters and other various equipment and she kinda smiles and down the square, she see's a picture of the Emperor tilted off center, she closes one eye and fixes the sign, she walks happy*

*At the front the Edenstein and manarthians enter the city with little resistance, they report bakc to HQ*

Tank1: Sir this is Sgt Stukoy, we have met little resistance in taking the outskirts of the city... it appears as if the city is a ghost town, awaiting further orders.

HQ: Be advised, proceed foward as planned but with extreme caution. HQ out..

Tank1: *to his comrades in the tank* that was a whole lot of help... *To the rest of the tank Divison* Alright boys, lets move in..

*The thank company begins moving into the city, as well as the 3rd Armored from the west.. their target is the downtown region of the city, all along the way they recieve small arms fire*

The Andaluciaen Supreme Consul fits the final rivet at North Ober Sandusky Shipyard. The small delegation of officials celebrate the opening of the new state of the art shipyard. The ships produced here will be transports for Manarthian and Edenstein troops.

*Official message to Andalucaie*

To: Supreme Consul
From: Admiral Ulonov
Re: Support

Edenstein would like to thank you for your continued support in our war against Counterpoint and the UN. Furthermore we are codialy inviting you to Edenstein for the founders day celebrations.

The transports that your shipyards are producing will be of great benefit to our war effort, and will hopefully bring this war to a speedy and decisive end to the war.

Admiral Ulonov
Acting Emporer of Edenstein

In the Chateau Castor Peau in E-C-N Corporate Headquarters

Aldolpho Locoaleman is pacing the floor, talking to one of his henchmen, Gunter Hassen. "Gunter, it seems as if our heavy work has been done for us. I have just received word that Dubelco has arrested the Manarthian Prime Minister McMillian. This is good news, if we eliminate Diego Jenkins, the Deputy Prime minister, we have a better chance of getting one of us installed as Head-of-State of Manarth."

"Activate the cold cells in Manarth and start the operation." Aldolpho instructs Gunter.

Gunter replies "Uh sir, we have no cells in Manarth, you said they were too close to us to start operations over there."

Aldopho's face gets beet red and he pulls out an ancient Luger and shoots Gunter twice. He reaches over, pushes the intercom key and says he needs maid service. While waiting for the maids to show up he mutters "Now we will have to get the West Palm Beach Mecenaries to drop one of our shooters into Manarth." Aldopho hates to spend money when he doesn't feel he should have to.

ooc: hmmmm, sorry to break the mood here. But out of sheer curiosity, was that wedding ever concluded?

::Response to Edenstein::

To: Admiral Ulonov
From: Supreme Consul Brandt
RE: Founders Day Celebration

We will gladly send a delegation to take part in the founders day celebration. We will be sending the Chancellor of the Senate, Ulrich Schmied will be leading the delegation. Thank you for the invitation

William Brandt
Supreme Consul

ooc: hmmmm, sorry to break the mood here. But out of sheer curiosity, was that wedding ever concluded?

OOC: Yup.. :-) Emperor Ed and Empress Carolyn where finaly wed... with only one assasination attempt...

and its ok sketch, you are always welcome here.

*At the northern bases the 2 wings of B-1's take off for Santa Cruze, one of Edensteins largest cities on the eastern border, they fly at 100 feet off the ground near mach 2, they are carrying 2000 pound bombs. When they reach Santa Cruze they Drop thier bombs on indiscriminate targets, housing, manufacturing, commercial, but most importantly the oil producing and refining facilities that inhabit the outskirts of the city, as they drop their bombs they quickly turn tail and head back towards counterpoint*

*The 2 flights of B-52's and B-2's carrying 2000 pound bombs and MOAB's take off from the base and fly towards the city... once they reach it, they drop their bombs on the cities and the invading troops*

General Kohl sits at the opposite end of the table from Supreme Consul Brandt and Chancellor Schmied, he outlines the recent developments in the war.

Kohl: It would appear that Counterpoint used stealth bombers to attack Edenstein's oil refineries, we know that they used stealths because there was no radar signature, even on our cruisers AEGIS II radars.

Brandt: So, do you think that we will need to ramp up oil production?

Schmied: I don't know Sir, but it is always better to upgrade during a war.

Brandt: Yes, yes, then bring output up to 80%, if Edenstein needs fuel, then they shall have it.

Kohl: Also related to production, I suggest that we build another shipyard, this time for cruisers and destroyers, escort ships Sir.

Schmied: That would be excellent, and we could install our KS-2 radar systems on them.

Brandt: Is this the compromise between the heavy capital ship yard and the transport factory?

Kohl: Yessir, it is.

Brandt: Well then, begin immediately.

*As the bombs detonate in Santa Cruze thousands perish in the flames and explosions from the heavy ordinace bombs. Two wings of Mig-31's carrying high velocity air to air missles are dispatched to catch up to the B-1's. They finaly catch up to them over the counterpoint border at 50,000 feet, they fire 2 salvo's at the bombers, and then fire their Hypercruze engines and engage the bombers with their 30 mm Cannons*

*In Alpha Omega (Due to a complete fubar in orders) the Sam/AA Trucks and batteries are in the wrong place to detect the incoming threats.. as a result the air raid is staggering, Alpha and Bravo Companies attached to the 4th divison are completly wiped out as MOAB's Explode on top of them. The city is almost entirely destroyed as the bombers continue to drop ordinance on them*

Casulties:
Santa Cruze
30,000 Civillians Killed, Wounded, Missing
20% of the city in rubble or on fire
Oil Producing facilites are at 50% of normal.

Alpha Omega

4th Division 75% Casulties
3rd Division 20% Casulties

Manarthian Divisions

4th Marnie 10 % Casulties

*Ulonov Learns of the Malicious attack on the civilian population in Santa Cruze, his face turns solomn and grim, he buzzes Jane*

Jane: Yes sir

Ulonov: I want to be on air.... asap..

Jane: Yes sir... LETI, ENN, NBC, Or MNN?

Ulonov: All of them... *before he goes on air he orders operation haymaker in to effect, all over Edenstein, B-52's, Tupelov 22's, B-2's, B-1's, EA-42 Widowmakers, other assorted bombers get full loadouts of fuel and bombs, along with a laundry list of fighters for air cover including, SU-37's, SU-47's, MIG-29SE's, F-15's, And ground based F-14's also recieve a full load out of munnitions. They take off flying towards major metropolitan areas of Counterpoint, their mission simple, Level as much of the country as possible...

*All of the stations in LETI and LOTI flash the Edenstein Seal and then the affiliate sign on the screen, their respective anchors say that they have an important message from the nation of Edenstein and they flash to Ulonov sitting behind his desk. With a grim look on his face*

Ulonov: Goodevening LETI and LOTI, as you know our war with counterpoint has been going very succesfully, we have already captured one of their major cities in the southern part of the country. But tonight, in a ruthless attempt to garner by themselves time, Counterpoint sent approximatly 2 wings of bombers against civillian targets in the northern City of Santa Cruze..... this is can not go unpunished. I have ordered operation "Haymaker" to effect,this includes unrestricted bombing of Counterpoints cities and military assets to send them a message that they can not toy with the nation of Edenstein, and their acctions will not be tolerated. Goodnight LETI and LOTI...

TG to Dubelco:

From: Diego Jenkins, DPM of Manarth
To: James Dubelco, leader of Dubelco
Re: Captivity of Mark McMillian

Dear sir,

Release McMillian immediately or we will take action against your nation.

Diego Jenkins, acting Prime Minister

In Eastern Detroit, the Manarthian 3rd Fleet is placed on high alert, and within LOTI, the 2nd and 4th fleets are quick to respond to action. II Corps and VI Corps in Eastern Detroit are sent to the patrol the boarder between Manarthian and Dubelcoan lines.

Orders are sent from Chief of Military Opperations Robert Ionia to all fleets and troops:

[code:1:4444b395b4]All units, do not fire on Dubelco unless fired upon. Diplomacy still possible. Any Dubelco soldier seen on Manarthian territory is to be apprehended if possible, and fired upon only if they refuse to surrender. We don't want a war.[/code:1:4444b395b4]

Meanwhile, the III corps, I corps and newly formed IX corps (the group just landed in Izimbeckwi) advance on entrenched Izimbeckwi possitions, from both the south and the north. IX corps moves slowly, as III and I corps attempt to move into possition to surround the city of Canquar.

*The evening is a pleasent one, people in Straussberg go about their buisness as usual, the war, is far away from them and they pay no head to it. Michelle and her daughter Tiffany are walking down the street looking at all of the different objects in the shop windows when a loud droaning from overhead is heard*

Tiff: Mommy Mommy What is that?
Mich: I don't know hun.....
Tiff: Its scary sounding..
Mich: Well I

*She's cut short as a MOAB Drops from the sky and demolishes the surrounding area killing everyone within sight.. this scene is repeated all over Counterpoint as the Edenstein and Manarthian bombers drop bombs on the citys and military bases of Counterpoint*

*Empress Jessica watches as Ulonov gives his speech on all the regions news. She stands up and looks out the window as the capital, Straussberg, erupts into flames, she folds her hands behind her back watching the chaos which is erupting all over the country. The air raid from the Manarthian and Edenstein planes is devastating, Jessica turns back from the window, trying to dampen out the screems of pain and suffering that are coming from the crowds*

*Deep in the brig of Edenstein, Zofia sits in the corner, plotting her revenge when a figure comes to the cell door, he peers in and see's Zofia sitting in th back. The man fumbles though a few keys and opens the cell door*

Man: Come on... lets get you out of there..
Zofia: Who... Who.. are you...
Man: You know me very well... *He bumps the cell door and his keychain starts playing a peter frampton song* oops...

*screen flashes the Andaluciaen Supreme Consul's Shield, then fades away to image of the Senate Chamber in the Capitol, Supreme Consul Brandt stands at the podium about to give a speech*

We have witnessed the ruthless attack by forces from Counterpoint on Edenstein at Santa Cruze. We condemn this wholeheartedly. We feel that such acts cannot go unpunished, and we support Edenstein's response, Operation Haymaker.

We will do whatever we can to aid Edenstein, we will be ramping up oil refinery production to 90% capacity. The Extra oil will go to aid Edenstein's war effort.

We will continue to provide Edenstein and Manarth with logistical support during this war. We will also be ready to respond should Counterpoint threaten the Andaluciaen homeland.

We have activated the ultra high powered KS-2 anti-stealth radars and the Cobra Dane Radars to intercept any threat from Counterpoint, the Anti-Air Artillery Divisions have been activated, as have the fighter/interceptor regiments. But, you should be prepared for the chance that a bomber or missile fired from Counterpoint could get through.

If this were to happen it could be carrying anything, conventional, chemical, biological or even nuclear weapons could be deployed, that is why I am issuing orders for Operation Total Blue, a national guard implemented national defense strategy. You will receive info about it soon.

But should the Andaluciaen homeland be struck, we will respond in kind, remember that Andaluciae has never signed the nuclear weapons limitation treaties of LETI and we have a very large nuclear and chemical arsenal. We would be ready to fire as many of these weapons as possible if attacked.

We are not yet engaged in major combat, but our troops are keeping Edenstein's fighting, so keep onward.

*screen fades out*

MadderMikian Network News MMNN

Mike Gaptooth "Well it is official, Mike of Mike and Mike Shipping has been
elected the Elected Prime Minister of MadderMike."
Michelle Airhead "That's right Mike, and Mike has wasted no time in announcing his Cabinet. He has retained his uncle Mike Bond as Minister of Information and Intelligence, Em of Mike and Mike Shipping is the Secretary of State, ADM Mike Dewey is the Minister of War and Peace. Other announcements will be made as soon as we hear them."

In MichaelGrad

Mike of Mike and Mike Shipping (M&MS) is talking to Em's brother, Mike and tells him to prepare a Non-Agression treaty with Nimzonia. He prepares the treaty with the following provisions:
MadderMike will retain a Naval Base in Man Jayen to stabilize the region.

MadderMike will offer in exchange the use of 5,000 square Kilometers in the Lands formerly Known as Western Manarth in LETI. This land will include 13 1/2 miles of coast.

Nimzonia is allowed to establish one Naval Base, one air field and as many people required to maintain these bases and farm the land.

MadderMike although not admitting to any wrongful actions will cease to harrass whaling interests.

Nimzonia will return the crew members of the MMS Paranoia.

Nimzonia and Indian Casino Operator will recognize the area bounded by 72º 0'North 10º 0' West by 71º 30' North 9º 30' north as an exercise area for MadderMike and Man Jayen forces using live ammunition.

MadderMike will pay $2,000,000 for the rescue operations saving the crew of the MMS Paranoia.

Nimzonia will pay in gold, on the first of every year for up to 99 years $20 lease for the 5,000 Sq. Km in the Lands formerly Known as Western Manarth in LETI.

Mike explains to Em "They will never sign this treaty, $20 billion per year in leases. This will give us time to delay everything while we finish the base in Man Jayen." Neither Mike, Em, or Em's brother noticed the mistake with the lease figure. Mike tells Em to travel to Indian Casino Operator and sends a communiqué to Mike Sneer in Nimzonia to deliver a draft of this treaty to the Nimzonian government, with the note that if they wish to sign the treaty, MadderMikian envoys will be in room 1300 Main Teepee, Main Teepee, Indian Casino Operator in two days hence.

::Ritsuko sits in front of her helicoptor cleaning her guns when suddenly a man comes up behind her out of the brush. Ritsuko jumps, then relaxes::

Ritsuko: Oh good! You came!

Man: Yes. I told you I'd find you.

Ritsuko: And that you did.

Man: So I'm assuming you had a reason for summoning me. Tell me what it is and why I'd care.

Ritsuko: Well as egotistical as I am and all, I'm in a situation where I realize I can't take care of things alone. I'll need some help. I'm sure you know by now about the situation in HO and how the Holy Emperor and the whole administration have been kidnapped. I want your help rescuing them. I'm prepared to pay you whatever you require.

Man: I see. Let's not worry about payment now. Why do you think I'll be able to help you?

Ritsuko: Because with the possible exception of myself, you're the best shot in all of LETI. You get the job done.

Man: I see. So you want to break into a terrorist hideout full of guards and suicidal maniacs and rescue about a dozen people. Do you know wherethe hideout is?

Ritsuko: Not yet, but I'm working on it.

Man: It's crazy. It's preposterous. It's a stupid idea. Totally outnumbered. It will never work... ::He grins:: Count me in...

::Bert and Jay walk into Ulonov's office behind Jane::

Bert: Umm... you called?

Ulonov: Yes.... I'd like to have a word witht the two of you.... Especialy you Jay...

Jay: Oh boy! Are you promoting us?

Bert: Shut up! Um... what would you like Sir, er, Your excellency, or whatever appropriate term you'd like us to call you?

Ulonov: Admiral is fine for right now. Now, I'm a fair man. Bert if you give it back to me.... we'll act as if nothing has ever happened.. you can go back to being a janitor. I'll even give you a pay raise... that sounds fair right?

Jay: A raise!

Bert: Give it back? ::sits with a blank look on his face:: Huh?

Ulonov: ::he leans forward a little bit and looks stearnly at the two of them:: You know what I'm talking about...

Bert: Actually, I have no idea...

Ulonov: Don't play stupid with me Bert..... You know EXACTLY what I'm talking about... Now I would expect this from your counterpart but you seem too intelligent for that. I want the sequencing mechanisim for the H.O.U.N.D. and I know that one of you is responsible for it...

Bert: ::His eyes grow huge:: the HOUND?

Ulonov: Yes the HOUND... we have you on tape stealing it. ::He paces around the room a little looking at the pictures of former Edenstein heroes::

Bert: What!?!? I didn't! I didn't even take it! I didnt' even know! HE took it! I had nothing to do with it!

Jay: What are you talking about?

Bert: The HOUND!

Jay: The what?

::Ulonov turns to look at the two of them and unholsters his gun and walks over to them:: The HOUND. One of Edensteins greatest weapons... and one of you has it....

Jay: What? ::Bert Rolls his eyes::

Bert: Your 'table leg'

Jay: My table leg? What about it?

Ulonov: ::Looks at the two of them and then does some quick thinking:: Jay... I'll promote you to head of custodial services at the Junon Naval Base if I can have the table leg back.

Jay: But it's my table leg!

Ulonov: ::It is quite apparent that he is quite angry, in a fit of rage he kicks out the legs under Berts chair, he falls to the ground and Ulonov holds his gun to Berts head:: Jay... If you don't tell me where that weapon is... I'm going to take it out on your friend

Jay: You're going to get him take out? What about me? Can I get some cashew chicken?

Bert: Give him the table leg!!

Jay: But it's mine!

*Ulonov pulls the hammer back on the gun*

Bert: JAY GIVE HIM THE DAMN TABLE LEG!

Jay: Will I get it back later?

::Ulonov takes the gun away from Berts head and thinks quickly:: Ulonov: Yes Jay.. you'll get it back.. and I'll give you some chicken too...

Jay: All right! I'll get it back to you when I go home next! Because it's at home right now holding up my table

Ulonov: How about I go home with you...

*Across the square, the pretty black haired girl is sitting in a coffee shop. Sipping a cup of coffee she watches at the preparations continue for the founders day celebration. She looks over at the door as an older gentleman walks in, looking a little lost she signals for him to come over. The man looks at the girl and then walks over and sits down*

Girl: You seemed a little bit lost..
Man: Yeah, I don't seem to get out to much.... Especialy with Ulonov in office now...
Girl: Yeah, I really liked the Emperor.... its to bad he was shot....
Man: Well we don't know if he actually is dead...

*She signals over the waiter who comes to the table*

Waiter: Can I get something for you Ms?
Girl: Yeah, get my friend a cup of coffee for me?
Waiter: Yes Ms.

*he walks back over to the counter*

Girl: Well, I hope he isn't, I can't imagine how this country, and the region would disintigrate if he was really dead, I mean, look at things now, Counterpoint and us are at war again, Andalucaie has said that they will use nuclear weapons, and we are down wind of counterpoint. Dubelco has seemingly turned their back on us, and some people have started a colony because they want to get away from the strife...

*She takes a sip of her coffee and the waiter brings over another cup for the man, he leaves the check and walks back over to wait on customers*

Man: You really think he has an effect on all that?

Girl: *Puts her empty cup on the table* Yes, whether or not you liked him, he was a stabalizing force in the region.. he really knew how to balance the forces in the region, Especialy Ulonov and Zofia..... well, I've got to go tow work, it as nice talking to you...

*she stands up and puts money down on the table for the check, just beside she leaves, she bends down and kisses the man on the cheak*

I promise I won't tell.....

*she walks out of the coffee shop back to work*

*4 MP's walk into the room where Jay and Bert are being interrogated*

Ulonov: Take Bert to the brig! And make sure he dosn't escape!

Mp: Sir we don't have a brig...

Ulonov: WHATEVER!!! Are you ready to go Jay?

::While the MP's handcuff Bert, Jay is using Ulonov's phone to call home::

Jay: Hi mom! Yeah, I'm coming home now. I need to pick up my table leg. My boss wants it. What? yeah, I want some of those too. Sure I can stay. I don't think it matters when I get back. Are we having Steak-Umms? Great! I'll be there soon!

*Ulonov starts to push Jay towards the door and down towards the front door they look back real quick as one of the MP's gut checks Bert with a butt of a rifle*
Bert: ::looks folornly at the guard:: You know what's going to happen don't you?

MP: Yeah your gonna shut the hell up....

::Bert hangs his head and follows the guard, mumbling to himself about Jay::

*Ulonov pushes Jay into the car and they speed off and in no time at all they make it back to Jay's house. Jay walks into his house where his mom is cooking*

Jay: Mom I'm home!

*Ulonov walks in and takes off his uniform hat*

Mrs. Smerling: Oh my! Guests! You didn't say there wre going to be guests, Jay! Are you here for dinner?

*Ulonov looks around the quaint but squalid surroundings that Jay and his Mother live in* This is a beautiful house Mrs. Smerling

Mrs. Smerling: Actually, it's crap. My husband is a terrible assistant conductor at a local school, and Jay hasn't been back in so long that we lost almost everything we had! I had to sell so many things just to scrape things together untill Jay got promoted.

::She serves them all Steak-Umms::

Ulonov: *chews on the hard as Goodyear tire steakums and attempts to swallow* Mmmm this is wonderful, they don't have this back at the palace.

Ms. Smerling: No, I'm sure they have food there.

Ulonov: I see where Jay gets his wonderful wits...

Mrs. Smerling: So was there anything else you needed while you were here?

Ulonov: Well, Jay has a table leg that we despretly need back at the palace.

Mrs. Smerling: Which table leg was that?

Jay: My table leg!

Mrs. Smerling: Oh... that one... I'm so sorry dear, but... you hadn't come home. I didn't know you were getting promoted, and gas prices just went through the roof here... so I was selling a bunch of things, and... I thought you wouldn't notice... so... I sold it.

Jay: WHAT? How COULD you? That was MY table leg! My only friend!

Ulonov: *almost chokes on his steakum* Excuse me mam... did you say you sold it?

Mrs. Smerling: Yes I did. I'm sorry, is there no other table leg like it? Was it a Rembrandt?

Ulonov: Who did you sell it too?

Mrs. Smerling: Oh dear, who was it... Let me see... he was a nice man... He wore a suit and tie Where did he say he was from... Hmm... was it Eastern Detroit? No... Indian Casino Operator? I don't think so...The news? Oh, that might have been it. I can't remember Oh! I do remember something about him! It was very peculiar! He only had one ear!

*Ulonov almost drops his palm*

Jay: Get it back! It was MINE!

Ulonov: *Shaking* Did he always introduce himself as.. *scrunches up face* Tom Brokejaw.. NBC News

Mrs. Smerling: Oh yes! That was it!

*Ulonov gets on his phone and says "Do it" a moment later several Armed MP's in body armour storm the house.... and seize Mrs. Smerling*

MP: Mrs. Smerling you are under arrest for treason against Edenstein....

Mrs. Smerling: Boy, that poor man... It's too bad he got mugged by those terrible men as soon as he walked... what?

*Ulonov makes notes as Mrs. Smerling rambles about the men who mugged Brokejaw*

Ulonov: Hall her off to the brig...

MP: Sir... we don't have

Ulonov: I'M NOW CALLING IT THE BRIG NOW!

Jay: But what about my table leg?

Ulonov: we are going to get you table leg back, I promise.. *watches as Mrs. Smerling is hauled off to the brig*

Jay: Bye mom!

*Ulonov thinks for a moment and then begins to walk out of the house, he stops and turns to look at Jay* You can take the rest of the week off..

Jay: Yay! You're my most favoritist boss ever!

*Ulonov gets in the car and heads back to the palace upon his return he goes down and visits bert in the jai... erm Brig*

Bert: Did you get it back from him, or was he still being stubborn?

Ulonov: No... apparently his mother sold it to Brokejaw who then in turn lost, he was beat up by some cripples...

Bert: WHAT? The cripples have it? Wait... did you say Brokejaw?

Ulonov: I hope.... I'm going to dispatch a fleet to Mirabar.. we have reason to believe that they are committing genocide in Mirabar... it doesn't concern me much never did like that country much.

Bert: I dont' believe it... I assume Jay got executed for it?

Ulonov: No. I gave him the rest of the week off. his mom is now in the brig and up for execution...

Bert: What? Why?

Ulonov: And so are you for that matter...

Bert: WHAT?!? I TOLD him to give it back, and he wouldn't listen, and then he forgot about the whole thing when we tried to ki... er, clean the whole palace for the wedding, and then we got the perfect chance to ass... er assist Empress Carolyn, and it slipped our minds! I didn't even think it was active! I didn't know where he got it!

*Ulonov loses his calm for a moment* YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT FAR FETCHED ASININE STORY?!?! *Ulonov takes a deep breath*

Bert: No I don't expect you do believe it. The truth is far dumber than anything I could make up... which is why you're probably going to kill me aren't you?

Ulonov: No, I'm going to kill you on the principal of the matter.. something about you just pisses me off.... but there is a chance for you to... as we should say redeem yourself.

Bert: But at least I did something right! At least I was partially responsible for helping the group that got Ed killed! So you can do what you want to me, but I don't care! I did something right! Umm... did you say redeem? Boy, heh heh, I sure can make up stories when I'm desperate can't I? heh, heh... ::He hangs his head:: I blew it didn't I?

*Ulonov thinks for a moment then takes a swig from his flask*
Ulonov: First of all you can drop the charade. We know that you are with Avalanche. We've known for a while. Do you think security in this place is that bad? Second: I'm going to release you.

Bert: ::his eyes get huge:: You, you, know? How? How did you know?

Ulonov: Your friend Jay of course. He's said it plenty of times around the palace. But I'm going to release you.

Bert: Wh, why? If you know that we were sent to destroy Ed, and Carolyn, and Corran ::suddenly realizes that Ulonov might not know as much as he thinks, but it's too late now...:: I don't understand... N, not that I'm complaining!

Ulonov: Really now? Very intresting... but it dosn't concern me... that whole marriage thing was a waste of money that could of gone into defence. Bert, I'm sending you on a mission...

::Bifida is sitting in a nice comfortable chair in the capital of Mirabar. One of his generals is lysing sprawled on the groundunderneath Bifida's foot::

Bifida: I could kill you for this, but since I didn't even know of it's existence I'll let you live for now. But we have to do something to get that back...

Agent: Yessir.

Bifida: So what's around there anyway?

Agent: Well we could just invade and kill them all!

Bifida: No, you don't get it. We don't committ genocide for reasons! We kill people for principle. We can't kill them all. ::He turns on his radio:: General Sco Lee Osis! How many more goddam people are still alive on this land?

Osis: Well sir, we'll need another week or so to stamp out all the survivors, but I can say they don't have any military anymore.

Bifida: Pitiful. Anything noteworthy going on?

Osis: Well we're in the process of setting fire to a hospital. We have people with flame throwers standing at all the entrances in case anyone thinks they can escape a fiery death.

Bifida: Not bad. But before you do that, I'd like you to send troops into the hospital to shoot all the patients. You can leave the nurses and doctors and such to burn to death, but shoot allthe patients.

Osis: Why's that? So they'll die painlessly ?

Bifida: No you idiot! So that they won't live as long as the others. They're sick, so they don't deserve to live those last few minutes!

Osis: Yessir.

Bifida: ::turns to the agent:: I want all of your men to go back and get ready to leave. You're going to Hairybakistan...

Within the Manarth Armed Forces Committe:

Chief of Military Operations Robert Ionia: And that is why we can't take any action against Bifida or his goons.

Admiral Orphius Smith: Now on to more important stuff...

Gen. Terrell Zimmerman (Airforce): And the slaughter of civilians isn't important?

Ionia: Look, I can see your point Zimmerman, but the thing is that we're busy in both Izimbeckwi and Counterpoint. We can't afford to send more aircraft to do bombing runs. Those poor bastards should have had a standing army.

Gen. Paul Isauskis (Army): What about Dubelco?

Ionia: All in due time. For now, don't fire at them, unless they fire at us. The same goes for the CSA.

Smith: Which brings me back to that, what do we do about Featherstone's little Armada?

Ionia: We call their bluff. Send a frigate squadron out to escourt a ship in... say the MadderMike one. If they open fire, instant ally. If they don't, we just sail through reguardless.

Smith: And FA forces can't stop them, because we're escourting them through our own waters, and it'd be war if they started it out to sea.

Isaskis: I like it.

Smith: We'll contact the freighter soon.

Ionia: Well, now on to the matter of supplying the growing number of draftees...

::Bert sits outside Slotter's hideout with his head in his hands. He thinks "What am I going to do? Ulonov just sent me to get info on Sltoter, and KILL him! I don't want to do that! And now I have this bug on me that I can't get rid of... What do I do?" He writes something on a piece of paper and walks in the hideout. He notices Eddie and the others sitting outside a prison cell with a gun. Eddie pulls the trigger and shoot someone. John walks into the cell::


John: Well that's certainly too bad for Bart. He's met the same fate as Sigurd did. Who's next Will?

Will: Well let's see, if Corran don't talk Meis is next. He's the marine corps leader. ::They notice Bert::

Eddie: Bert! What are you doing here?

Bert: I, uh, got some vacation leave. ::He hands a piece of paper to Eddie that says, "I've been bugged. Ulonov found out from Jay and now I have to kill Slotter." Eddie's eyes get wide and he drags Bert off to find Slotter, who is sitting outside Corran's cell::

Corran: I don't know! Don't you understand! Geeze! The only secret of LETI that I ever knew about was that old HOUND that was holding up Emperor Ed's table! But you said it wasn't...

Slotter: What did you say?

Corran: The HOUND?

Slotter: Edenstein has one! Well, that's not what I was looking for, but that certainly is interesting. I'll tell you what. For that, I'll hold off on killing your people. We need operatives to go to...

Bert: Actually... it's not there! ::He hands the same piece of paper to Slotter and adds on it, "They already know about hte HOUND, but don't say anything else you don't want them to know"::

Slotter: It's not? What happened to it then?

Bert: Well, Jay stole it.

Slotter: Jay actually did something useful?!??!

Bert: Not really, he told his mother it was a table leg because he thought it was one. His mom sold it to Brokejaw when he came through on a buying spree.

Slotter: We have to find and kill Brokejaw!

Bert: ...then Brokejaw was mugged by the Cripples.

Slotter: !!! What? Hmm, we'll have to do something about this. Eddie, take Bert 'away' for now. ::As Eddie walks by Slotter whispers something to Eddie who nods and takes Bert back to his quarters::

Corran: So old Bifida's got the most dangerous weapon in the world... I wonder what poor country's going to get an 80 mile crater...

Slotter: If I can help it Bifida won't have it. ::He calls Carmine:: Carmine! We've got a lead on something interesting. I think I've decided that you will be the new ruler of Henceland Omega. I don't want to be in the public profiel anyway... We're going to pursue this thing further, and then I'll decide the fate of Corran and the others.

Carmine: I'm the new leader? Ok, I can handle that. I'll prepare some kind of speech to give if that's ok.

Slotter: Of course it's ok. It's your country now Carmine. Just remember that while you can do whatever the hell you want with HO, you still answer to me.

Carmine: Yes sir. ::He hangs up::

Slotter: Well now, I think we're going to have to pay old Bifida a visit...

*From atop the COLOSSAL momument adorned with, rubies, and emralds, and blue diamonds, and gold plated, with a little fountain thingie that shoots water to music and well you get the point, Hurz Brunner and Holy Emperor Mem Zart stand looking out over there empire, Mem Zart pours two glasses of Euphoni's finest wine and hands one to Hurz Brunner*

Brunner: It is GREAT to be back, even though I did love our vacation to Cancun,

Memzy: As long as you remember to wear sun screen.... you crisp like a lobster...

Brunner: Be quiet!

Memzy: I'm sorry... so what do we do now that we are back?

Brunner: Well lets make sure EVERYONE knows it Especially the FOOT-CoC.....

A Memo from the Desk of:

THE HOLY EMPORER OF THE HOLY EMPIRE OF THE EUPHONI:

Oshgoshgamiletwan Zimbobwayetes
Rantaguloustic Membrainousit Zart
==============================================================

Dear LETI and LOTI,
But not the Foot-CoC,
And not so much Dubelco,

Secretary of War Hurz Brunner and I would like to officialy announce that we have returned back from our vacation, and what a glorious day this is! As a result, we have lowerd the price of admission to the COLOSSAL momument so that all may bask in the might and prestige that is Euphoni, and of course all members of LETI and LOTI are welcome to our great country, Except for the FOOT-CoC and... Dubelco... well... they can come as long as they pay.

Again, we have returned.

In God’s Instrument We Trust,

Mem.Zart/tws

::Yggdrasil Square is jam packed full of people, anxious to hear what is going on. The press is gathered, knowing only that an important announcement will be made. HO Channel 2's Elhaym van Houten stands by with a live broadcast::

Elly: We're gathered here, awaiting the important announcement. Bystanders are hypothesizing about what will happen. Some say Corran will come out and denounce the riots and anti-government sentiment. Others say that Avalanche or CoC has taken over. Still others think that Corran was killed in an accident. Needless to say, HO is certainly in a chaotic state right now and needs something to anchor to. Oh! The doors are opening now!

::The doors of the balcony swing open, and Zed Carmine walks out. There is a buzz of conversation, since almost nobody has ever seen him before. He stops and looks out at the crowd, then holds his hands out for silence::

Carmine: People of Henceland Omega rejoice! For at long last, the oppressive Corran dynasty has been overthrown. For too long this savage dynasty has ruled with an iron fist. Sure they let you live your own lives, but look how they watch carefully for anyone to slip up! You rights are below average for a normal nation, and their justice team dips people in the lake with extreme prejudice. But now we have conquered those psychotic "father knows best" oppressors! We can now look forward for a country built on what is important! The people! I am Zed Carmine, and you can refer to me as the Premiere. Because I am no more than a Premiere citizen, but I am a citizen like all of you! I and my band of citizens have defeated the tyrants and removed them completely! Not one advisor is left from the old despots! Ladies and gentlemen of HO, I now christian this the People's Social Nationalism of Henceland Omega!

::The crowd goes wild. The press eagerly wave their hands with questions. Carmine points to a reporter::

Reporter: Eric Camden from TWS 83 out of Euphoni. What will this mean for the other nations of LETI?

Carmine: It will mean a new way of doing things. We will be eager to work with other nations, but we will certainly have a HO first attitude. We need to take care of ourselves and our own nation before we worry about LETI. We must remember that we are the glorious descendants of the ancient druids, so we are the Hence and the L337! Now, how about you?

Reporter: Jan Blather, LETI News Channel 5. Are you going to run the country yourself, or will you have help? If so, how will they be chosen?

Carmine: Well now Ms. Blather, you can't expect a man to run the country by himself, there's way too much for one man to handle! ::The ENN reporters scoff at Jan and make note of this put down:: But you do ask a good question! ::The ENN reporters quiet down:: For now I'll likely appoint some of my other rebel supporters since I know them and know how they will be done. Perhaps later HO can decide for itself though! Now how about the red-haired reporter girl there?

Elly: Elhaym Van Houten, HO Channel 2 News. The People's Social Nationalism. That sounds a little...

Carmine: ::interrupts:: Ms. Van Houten, how could I not recognize you! I'll have some questions for you about the old tyrant later. Rest assured I put careful thought into our title. And last, but not least, how about the earless one there?

Brokejaw: What about the Cripples! They’re running ruthless and they stole something from me! We need to do something about them so I can get back my Pulitzer-winning... er, story!

Carmine: See, Yamamoto should've finished the job... you show your face around here and I'll make sure it gets done. Remember, we're worrying about the good of our country first! We don't care about the other countries little problems until they affect us! That is all. Thank you and goodnight!

*At the cafe the man sits shoked at the girl he thinks to himself "How did she recognize me? I thought I was pretty well concealed" He goes back to drinking his coffee as a young women enters the shop, she's wearing a long black tench coat and dark black sunglasses. She looks around and then sits at the table as the man, they begin speaking in russian*

Man: *Translated* Zofia, did you make it here ok?
Zofia: *Translated* yeah, I saw some army units patrolling around the square but I managed to avoid them...
Man: Good, we can't get caught right away....
Zofia: Have you tried to make it back into the palace yet?
Man: Yes, but they apparently didn't know who I was...... something about me being assasinated...
Zofia: Well.. I still don't know how you pulled it off.. it looked real enough...
Man: Ehh.. I'll explain later...*takes a drink of his coffee* Well now that your here, lets head out...

*The two stand up and leave together, headed for one of the seeder parts of Linux*

*Tom Brokejaw walks away from the meeting rejectedly. "I'll show them! Forget this news stuff for now. I'll show them the biggest thing to happen to LETI since the great Emperor Ed Scandal!" He phones in to his boss. "Hey, I need some time off for a while. I have a lead on something that'll turn LETI upside down! You won't regret this!"

He hangs up and gets in his 1979 Pinto and drives away from Fei Fong Wong, heading for the ferry in Waka Laka. "I need to get back to Mirabar where those Cripples are!" The ferry shuttles him from HO to Edenstein controlled LoE where he begins his drive. After running out of gas twice, getting a flat tire, and blowing a head gasket, he makes it to to Mirabar where he is relieved to see that the genocide hasn't ended. He pulls out his red Viewmaster and takes some pictures for future reports. He shows his NBC badge all around and surprisingly and unfortunately for LETI, nobody kills him. He runs out to the capital building with anger in his face, ready to take on this Spina Bifida person he's heard so much about*

Brokejaw: Hey! Are you Spina Bifida? You're the one that controls these worthless group of killers aren't you?

*Bifida stops and turns to Brokejaw with a look of disdain in his eyes. he slowly walks up to him*

Bifida: What the hell do you want?

Brokejaw: I want my er, table leg back! Your men were mugging people and they mugged me! Do you know who I am? I'm the great Tom Brokejaw, NBC News! *He shows his shiny badge* And your people took it from me!

Bifida: Don't play games with me, sombitch! I know what you're up to! You had the goddamn HOUND didn't you? Well now those stupid hairy bitches took it from us and we're going to get it back! Come to think of it, why aren't you dead yet?

Brokejaw: Well people saw I was Tom Brokejaw, NBC News and they...

Bifida: No, I was asking myself why I haven't kiled you yet. I think I will.

*Brokejaw runs away from the capital building as Bifida looks for the most painful weapon he can find. Crossing the wires, he is able to get the Pinto to start and he drives quickly out of Mirabar heading towards Necrotism. "I wonder if they have a ferry to Hairybackistan? If I can get that before the Cripple's ships get there, I can get the HOUND from them! My plan is flawless! PULITZER! PULITZER!! PULITZER!!!!!"*

*Empress Jessica sits in her claw footed bathtub taking a bubble bat, exhausted from having her country being used as a small white man in prison.... her feet hurt, her legs unshaven , her eyes have dark circles under them, and her hair and nails are frazzled.

Reports are coming in that Manarthian units are only 100 miles out of the capital, and her troops, though fighting valiently, are being pushed back at all fronts, the reletnless bombing by Edenstein and Manarthian forces have taken their toll on the moral of the citizens... and now with the commital of Andalucaie against her, its starting to look like a losing battle....

She grabs her rubber ducky and bats him under the water... of course, since he is a rubber ducky comes floating back up to the top of the water... she looks at him and then leans her head back against the edge. Grabbing her Bath and Body works bath gel, she rubs it around her neck, she always liked the smell of it. In this posistion she begins to fall asleep when the phone next to the tub rings*

Jessica: BLAST IT!! Can't an Empress take a bubble bath in peace?
*picks up phone*

Jessica: Yes?
Phone--
Jessica: Really?
Phone--
Jessica: Well we really should be seeking out all our options...
Phone--
*She lifts her leg out of the water*
Jessica: Would you like to come and shave my legs for me?
Phone--
Jessica: No... didn't think you would...
Phone--
Jessica: Ohh yes.. well run the add in Edenstein and see what kinda of feelings you get from them....
Phone--
Jessica: Thank you.. *she hangs up the phone and props her legs out of the water.... she gets a scowl on her face and then looks at the ducky*
Jessica: Well.... I guess its time huh ducky?
Ducky: *Silence*
Jessica: Yeah, thats what I figured you'd say.. your not a great conversationalist
Ducky: *Silence*
Jessica: Yeah... thats what I thought.. *bats him under the water again, but he comes back to the surface, Jessica leans back over the tub and grabs a bottle of shaving gel and a razor and begins to shave her legs*

OOC: Everyone look at the very first post, I'm gonna have Ed post a poll in the begining, think of it as if you where a citizen in your country reading the newspaper and asked to respond to a poll....

::Sgt. Slotter has been writing back and forth with Bert for several hours now, finding out what Bert has been doing this whole time, and what the heck he's gotten himself into. After a while Slotter makes a decision:;

Slotter: (writes) 'What I need you to do is go back to Ulonov, give him a few juicy tidbits and leave out the rest. if he thinks he's getting something you can still be useful to us.'

Bert: 'But how will you know what's happening in Edenstein?'

Slotter: 'I'll plant another bug in you. That way I can hear what's going on and judge how to deal with it. As much as I like Ulonov, the fact that he's a sneaky little s*** who wants me killed leads me to decide that he needs to be taken out. I'll put Eddie and the others on it once I know that my other men have made it to Mirabar to discuss things with Bifida. You'll be the tool by which I decide when to move them in for the kill. So stay close to ulonov so I know what's going on, but don't let him know I did this!'

::A door swings open and a man and a woman walk in. The man pulls out a very loud vacuum cleaner and starts cleaning the room. The woman pulls out a needle and injects a small bug into Bert's arm. Bert starts shaking as he realizes how much more complicated things have gotten. As the woman finishes, the man stops vacuuming::

Man: Well, the cleaning's taken care of!

Slotter: Great! Well Bert, your debriefing papers are all finished. Go back and see if you can get in. I'm glad to hear that they don't suspect you. I hope you get a chance to assassinate the Empress still, because that's exactly what needs to happen now that Emperor Ed was bumped off by us! Good luck! ::He shoves Bert back out and puts him on a plane back to Edenstein::

Bert: (thinks) "Great, just great... I now have 2 internal bugs on me. I slip up once and I'm dead. Once this blows over I think I'll change my name and try to go back to school for my Masters... maybe Mr. Stallin needs some extra help at Winnebago Falls... this whole terrorist thing really sucks..."

::He arrives at the Edenstein Palace, gulps, shows his janitor ID, and walks in haeding for Ulonov's office.::

*President Peter pulls out the Daily Pter, reads the sports and the comics, and throws the paper over to Brian. Brian stops and looks at Peter*

Brian: Wow look at this! Counterpoint is polling peopel to ind out what shold hapen to them in the war!

Peter: War? What war? Why wasn't I involved? I read a book about war once, so I'm already an expert at it!

Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't... nothing?

Peter: Oh yeah, that might've been it.

Brian: This is incredible! I've never seen anything like it! Of course I think a conditional surrender is probably the best course of action so the least number of people are killed.

Peter: Oh come on. Wouldn't a nuclear end be the best end to it?

Brian: No.

Peter: Oh come on! Lots of big explosions *He starts swinging his arms in front of him* WeEaaaaAAaaAAAaah! Wouldnt' that be great?

Brian: What'd be great is if you stopped acting like an idiot and actually thought about something for once.

Peter: I thought about something once... *Flashback scene to Peter sitting in a boling alley. "Hmm, should I pick the 10 pound ball, or the 27 pound ball? Man, I'm gonna have to think about this one..."* I thought that bigger was better. And boy I'll tell you, I regret that now! Worst game I ever bowled!

Brian: Well yeah, you can hardly expect to hit many pins when it's that heavy.

Peter: Who's talking about the pins, I'm talking about when I dropped the ball on my penis.

Brian: How did you? Nevermind, I probably don't want to know... I think I'm going to call up and vote in the poll.

Peter: What poll?

IN Michaelgrad

Mike Average Citizen is watching all the news reports on the wars in LETI and wonders about Edenstein's war with Counterpoint. Being a MadderMikian he certainly understands shoot first ask questions latermentality, but there has been a resurgence of negotiating in MadderMike. He hopes the war is resolved in a conditional surrender with interesting conditions for both sides.

Joe Average (Distant relative of Mike Citizen): Hey, a poll!

Jane Average: Conditional Surrender. It's more likely to happen and it'll bring our son Joe Jr. home from the war.

Joe Average: Hey, good point. It's not our war anyway, it's a LETI problem.

::Sgt. Slotter sits in his chamber with some of his terrorist recruits::

Slotter: I hope you all realize how big of a deal this is. This is the most advanced, secret, coveted thing in all of LETI, and I have to have it. Mr. Lenny Yondala, I'm putting you in charge of this operation. You'll be working along side Walter Pullet, Butch Sundance, and Colleen McCarthy.

Lenny: Ok, boss. Do you mind telling us what it is?

Slotter: It's called the HOUND. It's a bomb.

Walter: A big bomb?

Slotter: Not really. But you wouldn't imagine what it could do. Let's jsut say there are no other ones in the entire world, because they weren't allowed to produce them anymore. ::Eddie walks in:: Oh! Eddie! I want you to do me a favor. Go ask Corran if he's remembered anything. If he hasn't, kill a random advisor.

Eddie: Ok boss. Oh, by the way, I got a return call from Bifida, he says that he doesn't have it. Says some "goddamn hairy bitches" attacked and took it.

Slotter: Oh geeze. All right. Folks, you're heading out to Hairybackistan. Watch it out there, it's a jungle... ::Lenny and the others walk out to the helipad. Eddie proceeds to Corran's cell::

Corran: Eddie, you have to realize that I can't help you if I don't know what Slotter plans to do! If he wants something from me, I have to know! Do you knwo what the secret of LETI refers to?

Eddie: Look, I don't need your mouth! I don't really know what he's talking about either. All I know is that he has some friends that he wants to work with, but he can't for some reason.

Corran: What are you talking about?

Eddie: Well nobody right now, but he says in the past he's tried to get some people through and there's been some sort of problem with the 'lifts.'

Corran: The lifts?

Eddie: You shut up! I don't know what the lifts are either, but that's what he said. I figured you'd know! Geeze, you're stupid! Now are you gonna tell me?

Corran: I still don't have any idea what you're talking about!

Eddie: Well then. Eenie, Meenie, Miny, Moe. Someone's life's about to go. Aha! ::He walks up to the prison cell with Nori in it:: Nori Nori Nori. What a stupid name. Well I'll make sure you don't have to worry about that anymore! ::He walks into the cell, pulls out his pistol and shoots Nori in the head, killing her instantly::

Corran: Jesus Christ! I thought you said you weren't going to kill anybody since I told you about the HOUND!

Eddie: Honestly Corran, we're terrorists. Do you seriously think you can trust anything we say? I rather hope you think of that secret, because tomorrow we'll kill someone else. ::He walks out of the prison area, andthe guards return to their places::

Corran: (mumbles) Ritsuko, where are you? I hope you have sense enough to stay away from here. ::thinks for a minute:: No, if I know you, you're probably planning a daring rescue by yourself...

The AOTS Gargantua is a massive Andaluciaen oil tanker carrying diesel and gasoline to the forces of Edenstein and Manarth on the front. It leaves the major Andaluciaen harbor of Octopol under the control of captain Jan Buk.

Jan Buk has been handling tanker ships for his entire life. He has guided these oil filled behemoths in and out of Octopol harbor hundreds of times, but his nephew, Willem has never done this before. As Willem directs the bulk of the AOTS Gargantua through the straits he makes a slight error. He notices it and overcompensates, not telling his uncle. The Gargantua slams into the channel wall, smashing concrete and running aground, oil begins to spill out. Jan swears loudly for all to hear and commands Willem to inspect the damage.

Willem races down the corridors, he is very nervous, so he does what he always does, lights up a Lucky Strike Cigarrette. As he rushes, he comes across an slick in the dark, he slips, and his burning cigarette falls into the fuel. Igniting immediately, Willem has no chance to react, he is burned alive in an incomparable inferno.

Jan Buk notices as soon as the fire started. He hurriedly attempts to shut off all other sections of the ship from the ignition point, but the crash damaged the sealing bulkheads.

After only a few minutes of burning inside the tanker, pressure from the expanding gasses of the fire turn the tanker into a giant, repeatedly shaken pop can, and the Garagantua explodes in a massive fireball. Damage to the harbor is not yet known.

*In the San D'Oria capitol building, Spina Bifida looks around for any signs of survivors. He realizes that he hasn't found Marchion Ellastul yet*

Bifida: Where did that bastard go? I'll bet he's hiding in the **** forests! General Sco Lee Osis!

Osis: Yes, Admiral!

Bifida: I want you to set fire to the forests. Every single one. If there are any trees left standing in this country you'll be docked your pay.

Osis: Do you know how long it will take to burn eveyr forest in Mirabar? There are so many of them!

Bifida: As long as it takes, but I don't want a single goddamn tree standing when you're finished! We'll do what the stupid Americans should've done in Vietnam if they wanted the job done right! Their problem was that they left the trees standing! And that was their downfall! We won't make that mistake! I want the biggest forest here blazing within the hour!

Osis: Yessir!

Bifida: And I like you idea from earlier. Have your men circle the edges of the forest with flamethrowers in case they think they can escape. Oh, by the way. How is Survivor: Mirabar going?

Osis: Well sir, it's not quite as popular as "Fish in a Barrel was, but it's growing in popularity.

Bifida: Ah yes. "Fish in a barrel." Start that up again. I think the second season will be even better... this time, when you round them all up, I'd like you to put rabid dogs with tetanus in with them, just to shake things up a bit...

At the HO press conference

Reporter: Eli Brinkman, Manarth News Network. What is this new people run government's stance on Edenstein, Manarth and the CoC? Is the Fei Fong Wong Treaty still in effect, or is this government going to ignore it?

And a followup, have you thought of contacting these countries to poll their response to your newfound socialist democracy?

::As Carmine goes to leave, he hears Eli's question. He pauses for a moment then returns to the balcony::

Carmine: I suppose I can answer that. I have some time. Well our stance on these countries is that we are going to remain on good terms with them. There's no point in angering our neighboring nations is there? While we may believe in HO first now, we won't turn our backs. As for the FFW Treaty, I'll have to look over the specifics before making a final decision. You see, as a citizen of HO, I only know what I was told about the Treaty. Who knows what that terrible man wrote into the Treaty that we don't know about? But rest assured your nations shall not be ignored. I suppose I have time if there are any other questions?

::Carmine decides that he's finished and returns to the Hence Palace::

Carmine: Are we all here? 1, 2, 3, 4. Yep that's it. You three are the rest of the government. What'd Corran have, a dozen or so people? What a crock! All right. Helmholtz Watson, you're going to be my main PR man. WIth your talent for writing and your manipulative skills, this transformation should be a breeze!

::Helmholtz, a tall handsome looking man with brown hair, blue eyes, and wearing a large white coat nods at Carmine::

Helmholtz: You know I'll do my best.

Carmine: Indeed. Next, Dimitri Raskalnikov, I'd like you to take care of my secret police work.

::Raskalnikov is a large, but not very good looking Russian man who grew up in Edenstein for a long time. He still retains a thick accent::

Raskalnikov: Yes of course.

Carmine: And you Ms. Jennifer Heartwind will be my financial consultant. Stupid Corran forgot to have one of those... probably explains the ridiculous tax procedure. Half income under the table so it isn't taxed? Honestly. I'm sure you'll do much better.

::Jenny smirks, while the others try (but not too hard) to keep from staring. A tall knockout blonde with green eyes, almost disproportianately long legs, and wearing a somewhat formfitting business suit, she's had no trouble working her way up to the top...::

Carmine: And finally, I'm putting you in charge of my military Ramsus Kahr. I was so surprised to learn of the existence of your base, and it intrigued me. I hope you realize that you are the one and only ranking officer to carry over into my ranks. But I'm impressed with you, and I think you realize that if you cross me, I won't hesitate to have you killed. I wouldn't've invitied you if I didn't think you were still loyal.

::Ramsus, a platinum haired, brown eyed man with a long mullet, has been stuck in B4U Base for years. Upon hearing of the overthrow, several officers left LETI. Ramsus had decided this was his chance to go somewhere, had defected and killed all the loyalists at B4U before heading to Fei Fong Wong to meet the man who made it possible::

Carmine: I don't think I have to tell you what I'm up to, I'm sure you all know. Remember that while I'm giving you somewhat free reign right now, you still answer to me. Do not forget that! Do your jobs well! ::The others salute him and go off to do their jobs. Carmine calls Slotter and informs him of his decisions. After arguing for a while about the choice to put Ramsus in, Slotter seems satisfied. Carmine hangs up and looks up at the giant flag hanging in the throne room. He looks particularly at the hammer and sickle remaining from the "Iron Curtain Quintet" formed by HO, Edenstein, Crippleslovenia, Willville, and Cardenia during the Cold War Era:: Ok, that has to be fixed...

::Eddie walks into the prison cell block where Corran is being held::

Corran: What? You still aren't convinced that I don't know what you're taking about?

Eddie: Well Slotter's convinced you know this. I did manage to find out that it's a code for the 'lifts.' It's

Corran: Code? I have no lifts code. There isn't even any real lifts in HO. What lifts are you talking about?

Eddie: He says it's region wide, and he didn't tell me what the lifts were. He said that if I told you it was a code, you'd certainly remember.

Corran: No, I'm still completely in the dark.

Eddie: Well then... Eeny Meeny, Miny Moe. Someone's life's about to go. Well he's certainly old anyway, what use is he to you, eh? ::He walks into Fifel Hoover's cell and shoots him dead::

Corran: Jesus Christ! I still don't know!

Eddie: Well then, I'll be seeing you tomorrow, unless you remember in the meantime... ::He leaves::

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

::Meanwhile Carmine is holding his 3rd press conference since he took over. Helmoltz Watson is with him, in his hand is the HO flag he has made changes to::

Carmine: Fellow Hencemen and members of the press. As one of the first of many changes to be made to this great nation, Mr. Watson and myself have fixed some problems with the flag. For too long the hammer and sickle have flow on the flag, symbols of communism; symbols of a time when a crazed Holy Emperor Dax Corran duped his citizens into following his mad vision for a communist world. This oppressive symbol had to go.

We have replaced it with a new symbol, a black cross. The 4 parts of the cross represent the 4 directions of the compass, a reminder of the great new directions we are taking under my new leadership. The intersection of the 2 bars show the intersection of the the old traditions of HO with the new breath of fresh air being supplied under my leadership. It is also a more concrete reminder of the DDR Islands, being split as the 4 Islands are and reminding us of the way of the Druids, those who forged our great nation! The way of the Druids was lost in the Corran dynasty, as they strayed further and further from these ideals in their own mad quest for power. I feel this change will be the beginning of many new things here, as we try to wash ourselves clean of the dirt of the old regime, and strive to build up our glorious new nation. Trust in me my Hencemen, and we shall become Hence and L337! Now, I do have time for a question or two.

Reporter: Johannes Organum, out of Tempestia. Does the cross perhaps also act as a religious symbol?

Carmine: No, not at all. The cross can certainly represent what it does without implying any sort of religion. Also, Mr. Watson has told me he may make a tweak or two to the design so it looks slightly less like a traditional cross, but rest assured the cross part will remain and remind us of what I have explained to you. Next?

Elly: Elhaym Van Houten, HO Channel 2. Why a black cross though? Couldn't there have been other symbols to represent the same thing without...

Carmine: My Ms. Van Houten, you certainly are nosy aren't you? I have decided upon this symbol, and I think it represents HO very well. Do you really have a problem with that, Ms. Van Houten?

Elly: Um, no Premiere.

Carmine: Fine then. No more questions. ::Watson hangs up the new flag, while the HO citizens stand and salute, then Carmine and Watson exit the press room::

::HO Channel 2 News::

Tom: And of course, you'll all want to stay tuned for our special report: When Corn Goes Bad. You'll be amazed by what you'll find out about these seemingly harmless yellow pellets with shucks and hair. But what you don't know could give you an annoying rash that won't go away for weeks.

Diane: Annoying rash indeed Tom! But first, here are some statistics found in a recent study conducted by the Jenny Rom College Sociology Doctoral students:

Did you know that 78% of all criminals in LETI originate from or have lived in MadderMike? That's right! 78%! An alarming rate. But they also found out that 81% of all weapons used in crimes are also from MadderMike! The second highest criminal nation is Edenstein with 7% of all criminals from there. That's a huge difference! MadderMikians are the most dangerous people out there! Our own crime rate in HO is so low, it's lower than the nation of Canada! That's not to say that if you see a MadderMikian that he will automatically try to shoot you, but an interesting factoid about that country is that every single person in the country carries a gun ever day and uses it as part of their daily lives!

Tom: Wow! Interesting facts indeed! Those MadderMikians are certainly crazy sons of a bitch! And now weather!

::Val stands wide-eyed at what she has just heard Tom say::

Val: Uh, um, right. Well tomorrow's...

::Helmhotz Watson turns off the news. He smiles slightly and shakes his head::

Watson: It's funny. With how corrupt the news is these days, nobody will question those stats. They just report them as they get them...

*Stephani schuster is sitting at her desk finishing up a story*

Schuster: When all the Linux Penguins rose up against their masters and became a sentient race...

And finally tonight, We have wonderful news to bring you from the city of Raliegh, last night, little Abigale Stuchov, became Edensteins 2 billionth citizen, her parents Peter and Angelica Stuchov are proud of their healthy young 7 pound 4 ounce girl.

*Flashes to picture of little baby in crib and random pictures of Dr's and Nurses attenging to her, also the parents are shown holding the baby*

Schuster: That is all LETI goodnight.

In Michaelgrad

Mike Bond Minister of Information and Intelligence, is watching HO Channel 2 News received from satellite. "Look at those numbers, they can't be right. Call MadderMikian News Network MMNN and give them our numbers." He says to his assistant, Michelle Glassceiling. She makes a phone call.

MadderMikian News Network Broadcast
"Hello viewers this is Mike Squarejaw reporting live from our hardened bunker. We have received the latest figures from the government on crime. Michelle:"
"Michelle Betterbody here for the vacationing Goodbody, yes Mike, crime in MadderMike has decreased dramatically since the government has begun deporting criminals to other countries. A high government official has told our news bureau these criminals are given a 9mm and 50 rounds of ammo and thrown off a high speed boat close to any LETI country's shore. He didn't name names and we of course didn't ask."

Mike "Thank you Michelle, our crime related statistics for today are 45%, 19% and the all important 98%.

*Tag*

::Sgt. Slotter sits in his room on the phone with Carmine as Eddie walks in::

Slotter: Well I can't say for sure, but I'm not going to interfere. COntinue with however you like. I told you I really don't care about what happens in the country. Yeah. All right, well I'm going to go. ::He hangs up:: Yes Eddie. Has he talked yet?

Eddie: He still swears on his mother's grave that he doesn't know what you mean by the code for the lifts. I shot and killed General Meis Tripp, but he still won't say anything.

Slotter: Well either Corran's very good at pretending, or he seriously doesn't know.

Eddie: I think that after you'd killed a few people he'd've broken. I think he seriously doesn't know.

Slotter: Let me talk to him. ::He goes to the prison cell. Elwood Zev Corran is looking very disheveled and disturbed. He stands up and throws his arms in the air as Slotter walks by::

Corran: My God! When will you finally realize that I don't know what in the HELL you are talking about! Don't you think that if I knew I'd've told you by now? My friends and advisors are more important to me than some silly code you're after.

Slotter: That's why I'm here. I'm going to explain things for you as best as I can, because even I don't fully understand. And if you don't give me an answer... ::He looks over at Luna's cell:: Ms. Althena will be the next victim. If you don't tell me after that I'll safely assume you don't know...

Corran: Not Luna!

Slotter: Yes. Now Elwood. Right now I have the power of your country right at my fingertips. Carmine may be running it, but at the snap of a finger he'll do what I say. Within a few days I'm sure I'll also have the HOUND. What I don't have, is the power to control the region. And by control I don't mean conquer. I mean Probation Island.

Corran: What? What about Probation Island.

Slotter: Well every once in a while an entire nation is brought in via these huge lift thingies. They get dropped on Probation Island, and then some break off right?

Corran: Uh, yeah. What's the point?

Slotter: The point, Elwood, is that someone in LETI has programmed a code. A code that must be put in for the lifts to do just that. A passcode! Otherwise the lifts don't work!

Corran: ::Scratches his head:: So you want the power to allow people to Probation Island?

Slotter: Yes. And you know the passcode.

Corran: What if I told you I didn't? But I know who does.

Slotter: Oh cut it out Elwood. I know that Sammek knows it. But he must've told you!

Corran: Uh, reality check. DOS invaded our country a few months ago. Do you seriously think he would tell me the passcode to Probation Island?

Slotter: Hmm. You may have a point. We need to get him to tell me the passcode. But how?

Will: Umm... sir? What if we use the HOUND to threaten DOS? If they talk we don't use it, and if they don't we just put an 80 mile crater in their land.

Slotter: No, too risky. They'd know where we were if we tried that. ::His phone rings. He looks down and answers it:: Yeah? What do you want now? You have got to be kidding me... Well then... Yeah I'll get a plan. ::He hangs up and grins evilly at Corran:: Well Elwood I guess you're off the hook. Carmine tells me he received a message from DOS stating that he's recently changed the lift codes and that he's willing to tell you what they are. I guess we have a use for you after all... Ha ha ha!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

::In Fei Fong Wong::

Dulbelcan Man: Did you get it?

Ritsuko: Yep. I've got it. Let's take this back and plot those coordinates...

In Edenstein Square

*THe black haired girl sits on a bench watching two pigeons scrounge around for some food, she reaches in her overcoat pocket and pulls out a package of saltine crackers. She rips open the package, crumbles up the crackers and then throws them to the pigeons, they flock dowin merrily on the crumbs and enjoy the rare meal, she smiles knowning that she has helped them and then stands up and walks off, she accidently bumps into two people, the one is a tall blonde, wearing a black trench coat and a black berret, the other is a tall man wearing practicly the same thing*

Sophia: Hey... look where your going you twit....

Aleksander: Yeah... Don't you know how to use your eyes...

Girl: *Obviously a little flabbergasted* Ohhh I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to bump into you..... I was looking at the pigeons and I...

Sophia: Pigeons huh? Aleksander dosn't like pigeons... especially after one decided to sh!t on his car....

Aleksander: Yeah... thats right... *pulls a knife from under his coat and and grasps it in his hand* I'll show you what I do to pigeons...

Girl: NO!!! DON'T HURT THEM!!! *She lunges at Aleksanders arm just after he throws the knife at one of the pigeons, it goes sailing through the air and clips the birds wing, she goes over to the hurt pigeon and picks him up* You'll get yours Sir..... I promise you that.... *she walks off with the pigeon in her arm*

Sophia: Now what where you saying before she interupted us?
Aleksander: Well.... It appears I wasn't the one who shot the Emperor....
Sophia: WHAT?!?!

*They walk past an electronics store window that has Ulonov on the picture giving a press conference*

Ulonov: that is why in the palace all the toilets fluch counter clockwise. Next question...

Reporter: Jan Blather LETI Channel 5 news, what is Edenstein stance on the regime change in Henceland Omega....

Ulonov: Excellent question... we have "Monitered the situation" here in Edenstein to evaluate the developments, but our initial review is that this regime change is for the better, too long did Emperor Corran opress his people, renig on commitments to their allies and make a moccary of their commitments, this new leader seems like it will be for the best of Henceland Omega. We are looking forward to building a good Repoire with the new government....

Blather: follow up... what of the Fei Fong Wong treaty,

Ulonov: Edenstein found Henceland Omega to be in breach of the terms of that treaty a long time ago, if they stay in the treaty or drop it is of little concequence at this point. Next Question,

Reporter 2: Farbra Walters ENN channel 8, reports have come down through the government that Emperor Ed was not assasinated and is actually out an about, can you confirm or deny this?

Ulonov: *looking a little shaken* No Comment... next question...

OOC: Go ahead and ask some questions, I can't think of anything else currently..

Jason Ryan: Jason Ryan, Associated Press. What is your response to the rumors that Manarth may be considering a more isolationist stance with their two previous leaders incompacitated in office? And have you heard anything about PM Estabi potentially considering the FFW treaty null and void in light of recent events?

At the Ulonov Press Conference

Stunning Fox from ICO News "Emperor Ulonov, Emperor Ulonov, MadderMike now has 900 Million gun toting fools, true they tend to shoot each other but do you have any plans to contain their violent tendencies? And Henceland Omega has reported that 85% of the time 95% of all guns used in 78% of the crimes throughout LETI come from MadderMike, do you plan to talk to them about their export policies?"

*At the press conference*

Well, we havn't had any contact with the new PM Estabi, but we will be having a discussion on the treaty...

And to the reporter from ICO,

We are very happy with the way that HO is running their country and applaude Zed Carmine for the new direction that he is taking their country.

At the Ulonov Press Conference

"Stunning Fox, ICO News, you heard it here from war-torn Edenstein, Emperor Ulonov is supportive of the HO statistics machine and MadderMikian policies. Stay tuned for our highly informative report When Pigs Fly." She continues "There you have it everyone in Indian Casino Operator can rest easy as LETI enters the unknown territory of peace and prosperity."

"Well that is it from Stunning Fox, ICO News the most factual news agency in LOTI, we only report the facts as we see them. You can dependson our facts."

In Michaelgrad

Mike of Mike and Mike Shipping the new Elected Prime Minister of Maddermike is watching the ICO News and comments to Mike Bond "I like what I see coming out of Edenstein, lets move towards a friendlier stance with them. Send a Communiqué to the new guy over there.

Mike of Mike and Mike Shipping would like to meet with the new Emperor of Edenstein to establish friendlier relations and improve our trade status.

Mike is discussing local issues with Mike Bond "I'm glad to see Frod Motors has started to produce and sell the BTR-80 8 x 8 Armored Soccer Mom vehicle with the 30mm 2A72 automatic gun and 7.62mm PKT coaxial machine gun. Just think of the reduced wear and tear on our roads. The Bradley Fighting Vehicle is a nice commuter auto but the tracks tear up the asphalt. "

::A commercial during HO 2 News. A poor family of 5 is shown sitting in a run down living room with rain coming in through holes in the roof. A woman walks out of the living room and into the kitchen where she opens her cupboard. The cupboard is empty except for one package of ramen noodles. the woman begins to weep as she puts a rusty pot over and open fire in the living room::

Voice over: This is the scene in countless homes througout Henceland Omega. This particular family lives on Marle Island, the poorest island in the nation, even before the attacks. Her husband works 14 hour days, but taxes are so high that his family cannot afford to eat.

Woman: Well my dearest family, this is the last package of ramen. We'll have to share it amongst ourselves.

One of her sons: Well at least we're eating today.

Woman: Yes, but we won't be able to eat tomorrow. Hopefully by Saturday your father will be able to afford another package of ramen.

Voice over: This scene was repeated many times over during the terrible Corran dynasty as the good jobs were quickly eaten up by the rich Baptists.

::The scene flashes to a golden bathtub filled with diamonds::

Voice over: This is the tub that Corran and his Babptis advisors bathed in regularly. This is the result of that poor family's hard work.

::The scene flashes to Zed Carmine standing in Yggdrasil square::

Carmine: I'm Premiere Zed Carmine. Under the new Social Nationalism, I have just passed a policy that will increase tax refunds by almost 40%. The family you just saw will now not only have enough money to eat, but also enough money to fix their home and live their lives without fear. Without fear of starvation. Without fear of poverty. And without fear of the tyranny of the Corran dynasty. This policy is one that will build Henceland Omega back up to the glory of the days of the druids. You can count on me Henceland Omega, to make us the greates natino in LETI once again!

::End of the commercial::

Tom Tucker: Boy those Chinese sure do like to spit don't they Diane?

*General Sco Lee Osis walks up to the San D'Oria capital building*

Osis: Admiral! As you requested, every forest in Mirabar has been set ablaze. Within the next few days there will be nothing left of the forests. Any people that are left in those forests will be dead.

Bifida: Excellent.

Osis: Any new orders sir?

Bifida: Yes. As a matter of fact, I have changed my policy on killing babies and small children.

Osis: Are we not going to kill them anymore?

Bifida: Of course we're going to kill them. We're just going to enjoy it more. I want you to spray sulphuric acid into the eyes of all babies and children so they can feel the sweet sting of burning before they are bayonetted like a Kid-kabob.

Osis: Yes Sir.

Bifida: Oh and after you bayonet them, find their parents and feed their child to them as their last meal before before you disembowel them. Actually they are going to disembowel themselves.

Osis: How is that?

Bifida: Well we're going to start by wrapping their intestines around this tree. Then we'll force them to march around the tree until they're fully disembowelled. We'll make this tree the Disembowellment tree. Film it every time it happens, then we'll put in on our next Pay-Per-View special. Call it "The Tree of Death"

Osis: Yes Sir.

::Ritsuko sits on the ground of an apartment in DOS. She has 2 gutted computers hooked up in front of her. She wears only a sports bra and boxers and has her hair tied up to minimize the static as she tries to get the computers to do what she wants. Taskmaster sits off to the side, polishing a few of his weapons::

Taskmaster: Do you have the trace cmoplete yet.

Ritsuko: ::She sighs and wipes her brow:: No. He call using an encrypted and scrambled signal. These computers still aren't powerful enough to sort though anddecipher where the call went or what was said.

Taskmaster: You've been working on that for hours and you have nothing?

Ritsuko: Cut me a break! It took a lot of favors to get what I have here! Since we can't use Dubelcan computers.

Taskmaster: They really don't care too much about this yet. Actually, I'm finding out that a lot of people like this new leader.

Ritsuko: ::goes over and turns a fan on and returns to fiddling withthe computers:: Well yeah. He's buttering them up for something. I'm not sure what but I don't like it.

Taskmaster: ::flips his pistol around and looks down the barrel:: Well remember, Corran stayed out ofthings too much. The other countries are hoping this new guy will support them in their wars and stuff.

Ritsuko: Yeah. ::She looks up at Taskmaster:: I wonder what his catch is? Huh? ::She looks down at the computers, then hangs her head:: They just can't do it... We're going to need to do this the hard way...

*Ulonov calls Lt Kitzler and 4th platoon into the emperors office*'

Lt: You called sir?

Ulonov: Yes.. you are being sent on a top seceret mission to Hairybackistan....

Sgt. Kerestes: SIR! YES! SIR!!! WHO DO YOU WANT ME TO KILL SIR!!!

Ulonov: As few as possible,

Cp. Mathews: But sir.... I don't have a razor....

Ulonov: Thats fine...

Lt: Well what is the misson sir...

Ulonov: You are headed to hairybackistan to recapture the HOUND,

*The entire fourth platoons jaws drop as the door opens and bert walks in with some cleaning supplies*

Lt: The hound sir?

Ulonov: You heard me... you ship out immediatly, there is a helicopter waiting for you men at the landing pad...

Sgt: SIR YES SIR!! I WILL BE HONORED TO GO AND KILL SOME HAIRY APES!!!

Ulonov: Your not there to kill apes... your there...*smacks head* Just get my HOUND back and I'll give you all 2 weeks leave....

*they all begin cheering as they run out of the office...*

Ulonov: (To bert) What are you doing in here? Why arn't you killing Slotter??

::Bert stammers::

Bert: Well, I got all the informatino I could out of him, but then he sent me back here. I figured it was better to give you the informatino first and not arouse suspicion at the time. I have to uh, make a plan before I kill him. You know, it's not quite so easy!

::Jenny Heartwind struts into the throne room where Carmine and Watson are discussing the latest propaganda issues::

Watson: Well now I don't know how that'll catch, I think they might get suspicious of...

Jenny: Premiere! May I speak with you for a moment?

Carmine: Sure Jenny what is it? ::Helmholtz stares at Jenny while they talk::

Jenny: Well I've been giong over all of our figures and such, and I think I found a way for us to boost our ecomnomy even more.

Carmine: How's that?

Jenny: Edenstein.

Carmine and Watson: Edenstein?

Jenny: Yes, Edenstein. They are, without a doubt the richest and most powerful nation in theregi. And recently they lost their pro-Corran government--Emperor Romanov. I think if we get in good with them we can continue our outsourcing to make a lot of money, and we'll have a powerful ally for the future.

Carmine: Won't that compromise the HO Nationalism that we're trying to build?

Jenny: Not at all, actually. If you look at past historical figures and situations, you'll find that having a strong ally doesn't influence nationalism at all.

Carmine: So you're saying I should try to call Emperor Ulonov and set up a meeting to try to form an alliance with him?

Jenny: Indeed I am. I think it would be of great benefit to us.

Watson: Uh, do you think we should wait untill the peace process from the Zembeck war settles down?

Jenny: Well maybe for a treaty with them yes. But it's never too early to get on their good side. And besides, if by some slim chance Corran and his puppies escape, we'll have the might of the most powerful nation in the regio.

Carmine: All right. Watson, watch your jaw. ::Watson diverts his eyes rom Jenny. Jenny gives Watson a flirtatious smile, pushes her glasses up and leaves the room. Carmine picks up a phone::

Watson: Geeze, where'd you pick her up?

Carmine: Hello. This is Carmine. Get me Ulonov...

Estabi: ...and that's why I only have the utmost respect for Emperors Corran and Romanov. While I applaud some of the steps taken by their recent sucessors, I believe that those who remain loyal to the previous administrations should have a place to come, should they need to.

We have already begun accepting HO citizens, who feel persecuted for their following of the old regeme under Corran, and we welcome any Romanov or Zophia follower who no longer feels safe under Ulonov's reign. This in no way suggests that we do not support the new governments of HO and Edenstein, but mearly wish that all persecuted people be able to find a place to live where they can be happy and free.

::Estabi steps down from his press conference, broadcasting on the major LETI news networks::

Estabi: Well, that went well enough.

Hans Jakeway: Are you going to tell them about our ultimatum to FA?

Estabi: Why bother, they'll find out soon enough.

::Random press secretary hands this press brief to reporters::

Andaluciaen borders are all open to any refugees, and these refugees can be fast-tracked to Andaluciaen citizenship. We will consider all citizens from nations currently under revolution or new governments to be refugees.

I just bombed Andaluciae with two hundred trillion million ion bombs, for being a douche-bag.

ooc:
WTF?
That's really bad RP.

oh yeah.

Whenever you call someone a douche-bag you need to back that up with some evidence.

*Ulonov is sitting at his desk looking over the sunday comics when Jane buzzes him over the intercom*

Jane: Sir, I have petitions here for you, would you like me to bring them into you?
Ulonov: No, I'll be right out I need to go for a walk anyways...
*he puts his comics down on the table and walks out of the office to janes desk and picks up a rather large stack of papers... he shuffles through them*

Ulonov: Girl scouts..... Boy scouts... soap box derby... *looks at one for a moment* Hmmm.. so the new minister or whatever he is calling himself of HO wants a meeting... Jane, contact their government, and set up a meeting with them... *flips through a few more* Also, contact Madder Mike's, Andalucaie's, and Manarth's... I need want to meet each one of the governments representatives sepratly.. I wanna see where they stand...

*flips over next piece of paper and then starts to laugh*

Apparently Andalucaie was attacked last night by 2 trillion Ion bombs for being a douche-bag.... I guess some 12 year old kid that was beat and raised by hamsters has a little to mouch free time on his hands.. boy.. do I hope he is steril.....

*flips over another piece of paper and then almost drops it*

Jane: everything alright sir?

Ulonov: Izimbeckwi surrendered?

Jane: Yeah its all over the news....

Ulonov: Intresting... Call up 6th Army, and every construction unit that isn't associated with the lock rebuild...... They are to ship out in 48 hours to Izimbeckwi.....

Jane: Yes sir.....

*Ulonov puts the papers back down on the desk and walks back into the office, where Bert is still standing*

Ulonov: Didn't I tell you to leave? And go get more info on slotter....

*in their secret meeting place Emperor Ed and Chancellor Sammeck sit in the living room, having just woken up playing with the new toy that they had bought at walmart*

Sammeck: TAKE THAT COC!!! I'll teach you to launch missles at me!!!!
Ed: Wow, this is a lot better then watching it on radar as they are coming in at us!

*Carolyn and "Ness" an advisor walk in*

Carolyn: What are you guys doing!
Ed: Taking out CoC Missles

*Carolyn takes a look at the box*
Carolyn: Atari Classics huh?

Sammeck: Yeah Missle command is great.. *While he's not looking 3 nukes hit and take out a 3 cities*

Ed: Nice job Chancellor, Sammsylvania lyes in ruins... My turn!!!

*takes the controller*

Carolyn: Kill those Clans hun!

*They continue playing for a while, later that day they drive back to LETI* :cry:

OOC: heh, guess what, in 28 days i'll be able to play again, July 2nd is graduation. I'm now in week 14 of training and all i've got left is a Law Enforcement exercise(i've got cop training) and the Phase V FTX where i run around in humvees for 5-6 days. after that is just turning stuff and cleaning. And then i'll be back

I know you all have missed(and if you haven't oh well) See you soon, Thanks for taking good care of FOOTCOC for me Kelso

Estabi: So what of the attack?

Admiral Orpheus Smith: Featherstone America's forces launched a counter attack against our docks. They managed to damage quite a bit, but we're still running things down there. They also managed to sink CVN 42, which we were building at the time, as well as some of our newly commissioned FFGs and DDGs for the 5th fleet. All in all, probubly close to $35 Billion in damages. Minimal loss of life, say around 95, mostly dock workers and minmum crew. But they've left for now.

Estabi: Well, they withdrew, cowardly attacking our infrastructure instead of defending their ships. The press'll call it a victory. I want to talk to Featherstone.

Smith: Oh, by the way. Rumors are that the CoC is going to end it's isolation policy.

Estabi: Is that so. Well, that'll be nice, to have another large nation to back us up again. I'm a bit worried about the way HO and Edenstein are going, even if we are allies.

::His pager beeps::

Estabi: Huh? What's this.

::He reads::

Estabi: Don't attack FA or Dubelco... this has to be some sort of joke.

Smith: What do you mean.

Estabi: Look who sent it.

::Smith looks::

Smith: I don't believe it.

Estabi: I've got to call Featherstone.

***James Hartman commander of the Pax occupying force inside of Izimbeckwi appears on televisions throughout the nation.***

Hartman: Men and Women of Izimbeckwi... you are safe. According to the rules set aside by the Bulger Fifteen Accord, my troops will not harm any “non-combatants.” Your nation and its infrastructure will remain intact and under your direct control. The nation will be divided into two major areas of control. Edenstein will occupy the city of Bregistburgh and points north, and Pax Germanic forces will police the city of Canqwar and points south. That is all.

::Official Diplomatic Telegram::

To: All nations of LETI, and their leaders
From: Supreme Consul Brandt
RE: The establishment of embassies.

At this time, I have been authorized by the Senate to establish embassies in any countries which will allow them. We will supply all the capital for the construction. All nations interested in an Andaluciaen Embassy, just TG.

William Brandt
Supreme Consul of Andaluciae

***James Hartman commander of the Pax occupying force inside of Izimbeckwi appears on televisions throughout the nation.***

Hartman: Men and Women of Izimbeckwi... you are safe. According to the rules set aside by the Bulger Fifteen Accord, my troops will not harm any “non-combatants.” Your nation and its infrastructure will remain intact and under your direct control. The nation will be divided into two major areas of control. Edenstein will occupy the city of Bregistburgh and points north, and Pax Germanic forces will police the city of Canqwar and points south. That is all.

Estabi: What the f***? We've got forces in Izimbeckwi, not Edenstein! And they get to do nationbuilding? I don't think so. Who said Pax Germania gets to do the negotiation? Pull our forces out of the former Edenstein possitions, but keep them in Ralechausen and Viertsenmausenwieble. I think that's how you say it. We bleed and died for those cites, and we are not leaving until the people are ready for democracy.

To: Premier Estabi
From: Admiral Ulonov
Re: Izimbeckwi

I wish to speak with you in person on post war Izimbeckwi, to long has Pax Germania decided to run the show, we need an emergency conference to discuss the events of the war and how the country shall be divided amongst our nations, your troops fought bravely, spilled their blood for an idea of freedom, and we shall make sure that these people know freedom. Please contact me as soon as possible so that we may start a diolouge.

Admiral Ulonov
Acting Emperor of Edenstein

::Corran sits in his prison cell a broken man. At least for now, Slotter has stopped killing his advisors. However, General Bart Fatima, Admiral Sigurd Hyuga, General Meis Tripp, Environmental Advisor Nori Nori Nori, and Science Advisor Fifel Hoover have all perished over one pass code of LETI. He watches as guards switch shifts every couple of hours, always keeping the same number, 8, guarding his cell. On occasion Eddie comes by to try to find out any more hidden secrets of HO, but those have been getting rarer and rarer. His rations have been getting smaller, and he has long since lost track of the day of the week, or even the month. He leans back against his cell and sighs, at this point almost ready to give up...::

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In Fei Fong Wong

::Zed Carmine looks over his notes for the day. He smiles faintly at the latest propaganda Watson had sent out. This was getting easier and easier. Each day the approval rating of the new government was going up; Mostly because of the pro-Carmine propaganda and new policies, but also because the Loyalists were moving out or being killed by the secret police. Jenny Heartwind enters the room and walks up to Carmine, who doesn't even turn around to acknowledge her::

Carmine: I hear we'll be getting that audience with Edenstein.

Jenny: Yes, and I'm sure that will help matters a lot.

Carmine: You're very tricky you know that?

Jenny: Sir?

Carmine: I know what you're up to. I didn't get this position by being stupid, but I really don't care. Whatever your plan is, you may proceed.

Jenny: I, I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about sir.

Carmine: Fine then. Play dumb, it doesn't phase me. ::Jenny stares at the back of his head for minute in total confusion, and turns to leave:: Oh and Jenny?

Jenny: ::She stops and turns back around. Carmine still has not moved:: Yes sir?

Carmine: We're going to be making some purchases here in a bit, so clear the budget for me will you?

Jenny: Yes sir... ::She walks out of the room, ignoring the ogling eyes ofthe guards:: I wonder what he's up to now?

*Admiral Ulonov appears on the television, in all of LETI and LOTI*

Ulonov: Good evening LETI and LOTI, tonight we have grave news to bring to you.. intelligence reports have verified what we have long suspected... the trechory of Dubelco knows no bounds... In a weak attempt to strangle the region, Dubelcan forces have set up operations in lake huron, and seized the locks between LETI and Huron...

*he takes a sip of water*

I have dispatched two army groups, via air and land, one to Lake Michigan, and one to Lake Superior to defend our intrests in those lakes.... and to stop the spread of the Dubelcan plauge from going any farther.

Dubelco, your trechory will not stand.... your true colors are finally showing, and the free nations of this region will not stand for your villany....

Gooodnight LETI and LOTI.....

::On a helicoptor over Lake Erie, Slotter's special task force approaches the jungles of Hairybackistan::

Lenny: There it is! Hairybackistan! I just hope we can find that thing before everyone else does!

Walter: Hey look! There are some natives. They appear to be waving at us! ::He waves back. One of the creatures takes out a gun and shoots the helicoptor::

Butch: WTF? What was that? ::The helicoptor swerves around and begins to plummet to the ground. Lenny, Walter, Butch, and Colleen grab their parachutes and parachute to the ground, landing in the midle of a large group of ape-like people::

Lenny: I don't like this. ::The people surround the group and pull out spears::

Butch: Spears? But didn't they have guns a moment ago?

Walter: At this time, I don't think we should be asking questions...

::The apes prod Walter in the back and force them to march Into the Woods...

*Empress Jessica, sitting in the throne room looks over the returns from the poll, she pulls out her laptop and begins typing*

To: Edenstein, Manarth, Andalucaie
From: Empress Jessica of Counterpoint
Regarding: War

My fellow leaders, Counterpoint is in ruins, are cities are burned everynight by un-restricted bombing by The Edenstein Airforce, Manarthian troops are mearly 60 miles outside of the capital, and The aid from Andaluciae has been a thorn in ourside. Gentleman, I am tired of war, and so isn't the rest of the country, our soldiers fight and die for a losing war.

I formally request a cease fire, so that we may meet and discuss terms to end this war.....

Empress Jessica

*Tom Brokejaw sits on the Necrotism-Hairybackistan ferry. The ferry operator, Named Epsilon Iota, has long since tuned him out as Brokejaw has been practicing his Pulitzer acceptance speech the entire time. "And I'd also like to thank Dr. Crax for finaly getting the toejam out of my toes. Boy I'll tell you that toejam was so bad it" he continues as his giant late-80s style cell phone begins to ring. "That's probably for me," he says to Epsilon, who rolls his eyes. "Hello? What's that Gerald Ford died today at the age of 84? Oh, sorry. Ronald Reagon died today at the age of 93? All right, I'm on it."

He turns off his phone and turns on his red Viewmaster, sitting it in front of him. "Ronald Reagon died today at the age of 93 due to his 10 year war with Alzheimers. No that doesn't sound quite right. Tragedy struck America today when Ronald Reagon died today at the age of 93 from not remembering anything. No that's not it. Here we go. A sad day today as former President Ronald Reagon died today at the age of 93 when he was mauled to death by a pack of wolves. No, I'm sorry, that wasn't it either. Hold on let me try again. Ahem. Former President Ronald Reagon died today at the age of 93 due to complications from being old as f***."

As he speaks, the ferry hits dry land rather hard. The ferry jolts and Brokejaw flips over backwards into the lake. Epsilon sniggers and waits for a few minutes untill Brokejaw stands back up and wades out of the water. "That'll be $87.50 please."

"$87.50? But do you know who I am? I'm Tom Brokejaw, NBC News! And I have braking news that former"

"Oh shut up!" Brokejaw stops and hands Epsilon the money. He finds himself on a beach in Hairybackistan, completely unsure of where he is, or where the apes are that have the HOUND.

"Oh well, I'm Tom Brokejaw, NBC News, and I'll find my story!" He saunters off, stopping for a moment to wonder where he's seen the greenish stone lady with a torch before. He shrugs and wanders down the beach.

In Michaelgrad

Mike of M&MS looks up from his desk "Uncle Mike! you are walking again."

Mike Bond Minister of Information and Intelligence "Yes, something in this country finally works the way it is supposed to. The nano-technology we "borrowed" from Edenstein allows me to walk."

He makes his way over to Mike's desk, Bond's artificial leg is making whirring and ka-chunking sounds. The motion however is smooth with just a hint of a limp. Bond says "The nano things are fine they just operate at a high rpm for efficiency. The scientists are working to give them more power so they can operate slower."

Just then Em of Mike and Mike Shipping arrives. She bursts into the room, a converted storeroom while the new, larger, deeper government offices are built. She asks the Mikes "What is going on?"

Mike of M&MS "New governments all over the place, Edenstein has a new temporary Emporer, Henceland Omega a new Hence-something, war with the Zembecks has ended, I think the Counterpoint war has ended. Why do you ask?"

Em "You idiots, Henceland Omega has just ordered enough ships to make at least 6 battle fleets."

Mike of M&MS "Oh, they want to talk, you know, improve relations, trade that type of thing."

Mike Bond "How did you get that information, I haven't heard a thing."

EM "Maybe if you would quit playing with that wooden leg of yours, you could pay attention to your spy network."

Bond "Its not wooden, its the finest titanium alloy."

Em "Am I the only sane person left in this country? Don't answer. What is the status of the artificial labs new AI for the cruise missles, SAMs and SSMs?"

Mike of M&MS "Well, the Schoolyard Bully is working well, but the scientists at the lab want to start work on the next generation, the Mafia Hit Man, they say it is sneakier and more accurate."

Em "And what did you tell them?" She says somewhat condescendingly.

Mike of M&MS "I told them, whatever. They seemed happy and talked about increasing the budget and other mind numbing details, I just told them to work it out."

To: Jake Featherstone
From: Muhammad Al Zahir Estabi

Due to recent revelations, we appologize for the feigned attack on your ships. We do not wish a war with you, and issue a full appology. We understand none of your ships were hit, as we did launch a dummy attack to try and force your hand.

To: Emperor Ulonov
From: Muhammad Al Zahir Estabi

I would like to talk to you soon about post-war Izimbeckwi plans. While we don't really relish the idea of a continued deployment to Izimbeckwi, or the money spent to rebuild it, we are shocked that we weren't even asked about post-war rebuilding. It was quite a shock to us.

Hope to talk to you about that, and Counterpoint soon.

To: Emperess Jessica
From: Muhammad Al Zahir Estabi

As of right now, Manarth recognizes a ceasefire, until such time as we are able to meet with Emperor Ulonov to discuss what conditions we will require for your surrender. We cannot guarentee Edenstein will honor this ceasefire, but Manarthian soldiers will not open fire on Counterpoint targets unless fired upon.

To: Empress Jessica of Counterpoint
From: Supreme Consul Brandt of Andaluciae
RE: Cease Fire Proposition

We will accept the cease fire offer, and will attend any peace talks held. We would gladly talk with you, Ulonov and Estabi to see what is needed.

William Brandt
Supreme Consul of Andaluciae

The Andaluciaen construction team's C-17 transport lands in Izembeckwi occupied territories in Izembeckwi. The leader of the team steps out and greets the official there to meet them, and then says :"Myself and my party are members of the embassy construction team for lot 63." The official leads them to a convoy of cars.

::Slotter's special team is now lost in the middle of the jungle in Hairybackistan. Lenny looks around at the ape-like people who are taking them away.

Lenny: Uh, excuse me. Where are you taking us? ::The response is one that Lenny does not understand at all::

Butch: Great. How are we supposed to find the HOUND if we can't even understand them?

Walter: Well actually, I took a few years of Sasquatch, so I can talk to them.

Lenny: Well ask them where they're taking us, and see if you can find out about the HOUND. ::Walter talks with the natives for a few moments::

Walter: Well Lenny, they say they're taking us back to their village as their prisoners. They didn't know what the HOUND was at all.

Colleen: Ask them about a table leg.

Walter: A table leg?

Colleen: Slotter mentioned that Jay thought it was a table leg. ::Walter speaks with their captors again::

Walter: Well, interestingly enough, they do know about a table leg. They say they took a table leg from some cripples and they're sending it to Captain Stewy in Whitacre City. But we won't have to worry about that because we're prisoners.

Butch: Do they do this to everyone who shows up in their country?

Walter: No, just suspicious looking people with guns...

:HO Channel 2 News::

Tom: Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker,

Diane: And I'm Diane Simmons, and this is HO Channel 2 News for Tuesday June 8. Today's top story: As HO volunteers across the nation prepare for Founder's Day, the day that celebrates the day King Dyne formally christianed Henceland Omega, we bring news that the 2 billionth HO citizen was born this morning. Rei Ayaname, born to Victor and Paula Ayaname, was born in the city of Eva on Xeno Island. Friends of the family urged them to name the child after a famous historical figure, but the parents flicked off their family and gave the child the name they had already picked out. Premiere Zed Carmine gave a speech on the occasion.

::Previously recorded excerpt of Carmine's speech::

Carmine: Little Rei is a great symbol for our country. A symbol of rebirth as our nation is reborn under my leadership, a symbol of they joys that life can bring, and a symbol of hope for the future of Henceland Omega.

::Tape ends and the camera shows Diane again::

Diane: The Ayanames will ride on a float with the Niebler's in the Founder's Day Parade on June 18. The Niebler's son Zev was teh 1 billionth citizen of Henceland Omega.

Tom: Next up, does staring at breasts burn more calories than running? Find out after this...

:HO Channel 2 News::

Tom: Next up, does staring at breasts burn more calories than running? Find out after this...

OOC: :lol: :lol: I'm starting my new exercise program today.

*A C-130 flies over the jungles of hairybackistan, the fourth platoon is in full combat gear when Sgt Kerestes stands up*

Kerestes: ALRIGHT MEN! *Gets evil look from Cari and Sandy* And women..... WE ARE GOING TO BE JUMPING INTO A HOT ZONE!!! THESE FLY BOYS ARE DROPING US ABOUT 3 KLICKS OUT SIDE OF WHITACRE CITY!!! WE WILL THEN PROCEED TO EXTERMINATE SOME HAIRY APES WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE!!!!

Lt: Kitzler: Sgt... we arn't killing apes, we are allied with Hairybackistan....
And we have come to find the HOUND

Kerestes: DETAILS SIR! ANY OTHER QUESTIONS!

Pvt. Mathews: Sir, why do you have to yell all the time?

Kerestes: BECAUSE THATS WHAT THEY TAUGHT ME IN BASIC SON!!!! GET READY TO JUMP!!!

*The doors in the back of the plane open up and the light by the door comes on red, the men.. and women attache their static lines to the cable and line up, a few moments later the light flashes green*

Kerestes: GO GO GO!!!

*the soldiers run out the back and parachute down about 4 miles outside of the target city, to meet their contact in the government*

Random Hick 1: Man there sure is a lot of war going on around this here lake. I wonder why the mugwamp decided to move us into this place. People blowing each other to bits, jumping out of plains too!

Hick 1's son: Well hell Pa! Jumpin outta them plains looks like mighty fun! I might try it some time with old Bill's crop duster if'll let me.

Hick 1: What's wrong with'ur head boy! You'll be doing no such thing! Now be quite a marshy bundog is coming this way! Git ya gun ready!

son: Man those things sure are ugily. I wish em dogs would leave the marshmellow bunnies alone.

::BANG::

Hick 1: Good shot boy! Ma'll be fixin up some good super tonight!


{Meanwhile, in the only city of all Lot Puck}

Supreme Consol Baq: Oy! Octu, di'ya send the messages to Edenstein and Samsylvannia? It's been weeks. I wonder if they messengers got killed on the way. Damn war!

Octu: Yeah, we sent em. Got no reply yet. I kept tellin em we had lots of corn. I mean, it's not our biggist crop, and we got oder stuff too, but I figured people like corn. Told em we were good hunters and everything. I mean we got people that can pick off a marshmellow bunny at hundred feet or more with no'en but an arrow. Hell sir, we would be great if they need snipers. Guess the don't need em though. Proly don't need no corn either.

Baq: Well did you tell em we had lots of empty lan? They can store stuff here. We just need to start makin some friens in this here lake or we'll be next for the takin over! Don't wanna be taken over! We like wha we got goin here. Now, send more messages if you have too! I want a reply if it kills you!

Octu: Y'sir! Gittin right on that sir!

...

I figured people like corn... Proly don't need no corn either.

...
Now, send more messages if you have too! I want a reply if it kills you!
...


[code:1:d961fee506]Message from Mike Deere Minister of Agriculture and Waste Disposal: We would like to establish trade exchanges with your nation, MadderMike is a leading producer of Information Technology and Automobile Manufacturing. We would like to trade your corn for our computers and our newest export the BTR-80 lightly armored amphibious vehicle. The BTR-80 can be used to transport workers to the fields, shoot crows out of the trees, and cross rivers and lakes in the way. You can hook a plow to it and get more hectacres plowed than with a team of mules. We are also looking for a place to store our solid waste. You can make pretty artificial mountains and it makes a perfect breeding ground for all varieties of edible rats.[/code:1:d961fee506]

Manarth has begun pulling it's forces out of Counterpoint. 1st Fleet is returning to it's port in Eastern Detroit. Patrol runs will continue until further notice however, though long range bombing runs have stopped.

:::Main Mugwamp Hut (headquarters in most languages):::

Octu: Supreme Consul and councilors! We have received a message of hope! Well kinda, I think hope and smelly stuff. Somebody actually wants summa our extra corn. Mike Deere from MadderMike would like to trade corn for some fish car. I think he called it BTR-80. He mentioned sumen bout being able to go through or under lakes and rivers, shootin crows (but I don't know why we'd want anything but our arrows for that cause them are the best for shootin crows), and I guess it plows good too (better'n a mule, but we use ox). So I figure we could get one or two a those things incase our bridges goes out or we need to go in a lake or sum'n.

Supreme Consul Baq: Well that sounds good. Sept I don't know why somebody would make cars outta fish. What's the smelly part of the deal.

Octu: Well they want to store waste on our beautiful island. Said something about making pretty mountains with rats. We ain't never done nothin like that before.

Counsilor of Environment Aquila: I dun know what the hell we'd be doing with a mountain of rubbish. I mean, how much trash are they trying to put on our land. I only know of one place we could store such stuff, but I think it's a bad idea.

Baq: Octu! Send word to this Mad Mike person. We need more details about his smelly stuff: how much he wants us to take and when. Get me Gallus! He needs to set off at sunrise.

::: Gallus wonders in:::

Ah! Good. We need you go scoot the land. Find a place where we might be able to store some other nations trash. Maybe we could put it in a place where the violent marshmellow bunnies will go. Man I hope those things stop attacking us soon.

:::Gallus head to bed after milking his cows.:::

TO: All LETI Nations

From: Supreme Consul Baq

subj: An Invitation

Great nations of LETI! The people of Lot Puck would like to invite delegates from each nation to come and enjoy the relaxing, country life style LP. Oh, and we promise you won't have to do any farming. You can come and see Mount Primitiva; our community farming locations; and the most beautiful buildings LP has, our temples to Vita. There is no schedule to follow. Think of this as a chance to come and see what LP has to offer! Think of it as a vacation away from the stresses of your normal life.

Thank you,
Supreme Consul Baq

After a long hiatus, NNN (Necrotism National News) begins broadcasting once again. As the Skull, Scythe, and Crossbones leave the nation's television screens for the first time in months, the country's leader, Death, comes on the Screen.

Death: Greetings citizens of Necrotism. In an effort to encourage tourism and support trade, Necrotism is opening its border to all living residents of the LETI. Our ferryman, Epsilon Iota (aka Adam, aka Charon) is being upgraded to a luxury yacht captain.

Our primary export, the famous necrotism pizza, will now be available throughout the region! Our highly educated scientists are currently developing PTD's (pizza teleportation devices) - all of our pizzas will be shipped hot to your door in 30 seconds!

Finally, our tourism board has come up with a great slogan - "Come and live in beautiful Necrotism - You'll be back again and again!"

More news to come. Remember, You may not believe in Reincarnation, but Reincarnation believes in you!

*Anne and Kim Jessup stand at the ferry waiting to board the Epsilon Iota to go to Necrotisim*

Anne: So I wonder what these people are like....
Kim: Well, I think they like to jump off buildings or something... they do belive in reincarnation....
Anne: I hope they don't bleed on me..
Kim: It should be ok...
Anne: Well here comes the ferry,

*They watch as the ferry comes up*

::Ritsuko sits in an apartment working on a computer while Taskmaster reads a book about networking computers together. Ritsuko hears all the recent news::

Ritsuko: Wow, Some of these places sure are coming out of the woodwork now!

Taskmaster: I finished.

Ritsuko: Already? Didn't you just start that book a few minutes ago?

Taskmaster: Yes, I'm finished.

Ritsuko: ...and?

Taskmaster: We'll nver get anywhere with these computers. We'll need something better than these sad excuses for computers.

Ritsuko: Ok. ::She sighs, stands up, and picks up her sniper rifle:: Here's the plan. Aside from HO, I want to say that MadderMike has some of the best Information Technology in LETI. Since you polished off that whole book, why don't you go get what we need from there? I'll head off to Necrotism and find us a new apartment.

Taskmaster: Why Necrotism?

Ritsuko: A change of scenery. Slotter won't be looking for us there. Besides! I want to try the famous necrotism pizza!

Taskmaster: I think you're crazy...

*In Necrotism, more preparations are underway for tourism*
Death: Now, has the dock area been cleared? That black knight seriously has to be gotten rid of. No longer shall we be a "None shall pass" sort of country.

Death of Tourism (DoT): That will be gotten rid of immediately, sir. In good news, the new luxury yacht, the Royal Imperial (RIP) Epsilon Iota is filling up quickly. It's about time that ferry was gotten rid of. It was just so.... medieval.

Death: What about living space? Do we have nice fancy hotels or apartments for visiting dignitaries?

DoT: Well, we figured they would be set up right above Pizza Palace. They outbid everyone else for the privilege anyway.

Death: I figured they would. Necropolis just wouldn't be the same without those guys.

DoT: Agreed. Now, who will be on the welcoming committee?

Death: Well, why don't you take Death of Dolphins and Death of Bears. They're cute and cuddly animals, right?

DoT: We don't really want to scare people away, though....

Death: Fine, fine. Buy free pizzas for everyone and just have Death of Dolphins and Bears give them out. Is that better?

DoT: I have a better idea - why don't you just send those servant robots you cooked up last year? You know, the fleet of paranoid androids?

Death: People actually LIKE those things? Crazy. Sure, go for it.

::The Andaluciaen Security Coucil is meeting to discuss rumors coming from the National Intelligence Agency::

*The Supreme Consul sits in the high backed chair at the head of the table, and Secretary of Defense Arnhem closes the secure doors, and the anti bugging jamming begins*


Supreme Consul Brandt: OK, now Director Ruggeri, tell us all about this "superweapon"

Director Ruggeri: Well, Sir, we have been poking our noses into other people's business, and it would appear that there is a device called the H.O.U.N.D. It has gone missing, and several nations are trying to get their hands on it.

Secretary Arnhem: That's nice and all, but what does this thing do? Is it a bomb, a chemical, a diesease, a giant steam powered robot with cannons for arms? What is it?

Director Ruggeri: I am not sure...

S.C. Brandt: Well, whatever it is we need a counter to it. Arnhem!

Secretary Arnhem: Yessir?

S.C. Brandt: You have been talking about building a superbomb haven't you?

Arnhem: Yes...

S.C. Brandt: Well, I want you to begin that project right away, I'll get the money from the Senate, however much you need...you'll get it.

Arnhem: Umm...

S.C. Brandt: I want a response to this "H.O.U.N.D." whatever it is, Richard, I want you to provide a counter-intelligence cover for this project.

Director Stewart: Yessir, I can have a small army of Federal Police on this in no time.

S.C. Brandt: Good, you can consider this meeting adjourned, I will talk to the Senate shortly, and the world will know our plans...

Councilman Philokrates: I have decided to go to Necrotism and visit. Besides, this pizza sounds like it could be yummy. S.C. Baq, I was wondering if I could take your daughter, Polycarpa, with me.

Baq: I dun think that's a good idea. I need'r workin in the orchards. If you can find her a replacement worker then she can go.

C. Philokrates: Wonderful. I'll have my sun do it.


{{Krates and Poly the docks and await their voyage to Necrotism}}

Polycarpa: Ooooo....How excitin! I'm gonna get me some pizza! Ain't never had no pizza before. I wonder what it's like.

::Carmine, Watson, and Raskalnakov sit in a secret meeting in the Hence Palace::

Carmine: Ok, the ratings are high, but I need to have something happen that will get people to rally behind me even more.

Watson: You're not thinking a war are you?

Carmine: No, it's too soon for that. These Hencemen have been wussed down by the Corrans for so long that I don't even think they'd be ready for a war, but don't tell Kahr that. The fact is that the people wouldn't support a war atthis point, even if something drastic were to happen. So we need to create an incident that isn't war worthy, but still something that would bring the nation together. Watson, who did you say the most popular family in HO is?

Watson: Well that's hard to say. Certainly the Ayanames and the Nieblers are popular. And of course there's the Pennyworths.

Carmine: The Pennyworths?

Watson: Their ancestor Mina Pennyworth was the first to circumvent the DDR Isles for mapping purposes. Since then they've always been among the wealthiest and most famous of families.

Carmine: No, money can't be too much of a factor, and the ceremonial children aren't that big a deal. Who else?

Watson: Umm... Well there's the Konamix family.

Carmine: Who are they?

Watson: The ones who first brought the DDR game over from Japan. The fathers of our national pastime.

Carmine: And they are Hencemen right? Not Japanese?

Watson: Correct.

Carmine: Excellent. Raskalnakov, I'd like you to set up a brutal murder of someone in the Konamix family. Set it up so it looks like the killer is from MadderMike.

Raskalnakov: Yes Sir, but if I may ask, why are you trying to set up a war with MadderMike?

Carmine: I'm not. I told you, HO doesn't want or need a war now. But they need someone they can despise together so they will follow what I say. And MadderMike is so easy because it's so believable. Their government won't do anything about the propaganda we're putting out, because it's probably not far from the truth anyway, and they're all crazy over there to boot. I just need something to be the target for our nations buried problems.

Raskalnakov: I see. A good plan if I say so myself. How far are you giong to take this anti-MadderMike sentiment sir?

Carmine: Untill I have 100% approval from HO.

Watson: Do you realize that that's impossible as long as Yamamoto is out there stirring up trouble!

Carmine: Why hasn't she been found yet? Find her, and kill her! Now if you'll excuse me, I need to call an important person... ::He exits the room::

Raskalnakov: This is going to be an interesting situation. So well planned!

Watson: I don't know, I'm a little skeptical...

Mike James and Mike Coultrain are MadderMike's most famous bank robbers. They haven't actually been able to get any money from a bank even after 15 attempts. If they haven't been met with a hail of gun fire stopping them, they soon realized if they turned their backs and ran to the getaway car they would be gunned down in an instant.

Mike Moose Chief of police in Michaelgrad is trying to figure out a way to get rid of the two bank robbers. His police force is mostly made up of homicide detectives, what with the heat of passion murders, vendetta murders, road rage murders, duels, property dispute murders, inheritance murders, and general run of the mill murders, he doesn't have time for silly bank robbers.

Chief Moose calls his close friend and neighbor, MadderMikian Navy Captain Mike Farragut. Farragut commands an Ohio class SSGN with the Advanced Seal Team Delivery Vehicle (ASTDV)attached. Chief Moose explains his dilemma to CAPT Mike and they cook up a plan.

In the dark of night Mike James and Mike Coultrain are kidnapped and put on the MMS Aquaphobia CAPT Farragut quickly leaves the harbor and heads for Henceland Omega.

.......

After a day and a half sailing they near the coast of HO. The Navy Seals, dragging the two bank robbers exit the airlocks and soon are traveling towards a secluded beach. They get out of the ASTDV with SCUBA gear and drop the hapless duo onto the beach. Mike James and Mike Coultrain are tied up with flimsy ropes, a survival knive is located nearby and a collection of guns, ammo and Henceland 1337s. The seals explain to the bound up bandits that they are not to come back to MadderMike. "Make a living here, they don't even carry guns in this nation." Was the advice the Seal Team leader gave them.

In MichaelGrad

Mike of Mike and Mike Shipping (M&MS) is talking to Em's brother, Mike and tells him to prepare a Non-Agression treaty with Nimzonia. He prepares the treaty with the following provisions:
MadderMike will retain a Naval Base in Man Jayen to stabilize the region.

* MadderMike will offer in exchange the use of 5,000 square Kilometers in the Lands formerly Known as Western Manarth in LETI. This land will include 13 1/2 miles of coast.

* Nimzonia is allowed to establish one Naval Base, one air field and as many people required to maintain these bases and farm the land.

* MadderMike although not admitting to any wrongful actions will cease to harrass whaling interests.

* Nimzonia will return the crew members of the MMS Paranoia.

* Nimzonia and Indian Casino Operator will recognize the area bounded by 72º 0'North 10º 0' West by 71º 30' North 9º 30' north as an exercise area for MadderMike and Man Jayen forces using live ammunition.

* MadderMike will pay $2,000,000 for the rescue operations saving the crew of the MMS Paranoia.

* Nimzonia will pay in gold, on the first of every year for up to 99 years $20 lease for the 5,000 Sq. Km in the Lands formerly Known as Western Manarth in LETI.

Mike explains to Em "They will never sign this treaty, $20 billion per year in leases. This will give us time to delay everything while we finish the base in Man Jayen." Neither Mike, Em, or Em's brother noticed the mistake with the lease figure. Mike tells Em to travel to Indian Casino Operator and sends a communiqué to Mike Sneer in Nimzonia to deliver a draft of this treaty to the Nimzonian government, with the note that if they wish to sign the treaty, MadderMikian envoys will be in room 1300 Main Teepee, Main Teepee, Indian Casino Operator in two days hence.

Mike of Mike and Mike Shipping (M&MS) has just been informed the Indians do not want any official of the MadderMikian Government to visit their country without two weeks notice. "Send a communiqué to Nimzonia to have their envoy meet ours at 1300 tomorrow at room 13 in the Clydebank Shipyard Hilton in Glasgowburg, Clydebank Shipyard." he notes to EM of M&MS. "They will never sign this and we can prolong the negotiations forever.

Glasgowburg, Clydebank Shipyards Hilton

Sven Åsheim was the diplomat that the Nimzonian government scraped out the bottom of their collective shoe to ratify the rather unexpected treaty offered by Maddermike. He wandered into the hotel lobby about two hours early, because years of experience had taught him that if he set out any later than five hours early, he would probably be late. As it was, he'd been wandering around Glasgowburg for around two hours, after a slight false start where he'd wandered into his wardrobe after mistaking it for the door.

Åsheim was about five feet tall, and whatever parts of his face weren't concealed by milk-bottle bottom glasses, a fearsome array of white moustaches, and a badly aligned and slightly threadbare toupe, were bright red and gleaming with sweat. He periodically dabbed at his cheeks and forehead with a handkercheif, and cursed into his moustaches about the weather, which was some kind of non-snow.

Dressed mostly in tweed, Åsheim didn't exactly cut a dashing figure. In fact, he cut more of a bumbling, inept figure, as he made his way through the lobby, at one point apologising to a potplant that he managed to put his walking stick in as he made his way to the reception desk. A slightly embarrassed looking man in a plain black suit, who appeared to be some kind of minder, walked a few paces behind the envoy, keeping an eye on him, but trying to make it look like the odd little man wasn't with him.

Åsheim peered over the desk, his eyes magnified to the size of saucers by the overly large glasses. He took a crumpled up piece of paper out of his pocket.

"Could you perhaps direct me to... room... 84B Glasgowburg Odeon. Adult fare... Oh wait, that's my bus ticket, hang on..."

He fumbled around in his pocket, and produced another piece of paper, adjusting his glasses somewhat and squinting at it.

"Room 13, please?"

After a while, he looked up and realised he was addressing a fire extinguisher.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry."

He moved along the desk until he came across a bemused receptionist, and tried again.

::HO Channel 2 News::

Tom: A tragic murder happened today in HO. Butterfly Konamix, daughter of the famous Bemani Konamix was shot 17 times. Police have not caught the murderer yet, but witnesses say that there is no mistake that it was a MadderMike citizen. Premiere Zed Carmine deplored the nation for their lax gun laws and lack of any sort of decency among them. He plans to visit the family tomorrow. The funeral is set for tomorrow evening with a DDR reception to follow. Quite a tragedy Diane! Our next story, there's nothing that beats a good Holocaust!

Diane: That's right Tom! And the new Chocolate Holocaust by Gundam Chocolates is no exception...

Glasgowburg, Clydebank Shipyards Hilton

Heather Campbell, receptionist at the Clydebank Shipyards Hilton was watching a wee little man work his way down the hallway, poking the topiary, talking to the fire extinguisher. He was being "herded" by another man trying to look invisible.

Heather had to suppress a little giggle when she spotted the ridiculous wig the man was sporting. It was a pleasant 75 degrees and the windows were open and the ceiling fans were lazily circling above the reception area. The little man was overdressed in a thick tweed and perspiring profusely. Must be from up north somewhere she thought. Oh yeah, there was some dignataries arriving from the Arctic, how exotic.

Heather remembered now there was someone from MadderMike and Mary on the earlier shift mentioned an Indian from Indian Casino Operator was also attending. She mentioned he was in full Indian regalia including a feathered head-dress. She was to direct the envoy from Nim... something, Oh Nimzonia! to conference room 13.

Heather couldn't wait to tell her friends at the pub all of the excitement here today. She was a little disappointed the VIP from Nimzonia wasn't wearing a horned helmet and huge beard. The little guy started to wander towards another potted fern so she called out "Mister Åsheim, Mister Åsheim, over here sir."

In Michaelgrad

Mike of Mike and Mike Shipping, newly elected Prime Minister, sends Em to Glasgowburg to attend the treaty negotiations. He sends he uncle Mike Bond Minister of Information and Intelligence to go along with her. Before she leaves Mike is fuming about another report from Henceland Omega accusing a MadderMikian of a heinous crime. "Everyone accuses us of selling them guns, heaven knows everyone else in LETI sells guns. If they would arm their citizens none of this would happen. Look how polite everyone here is. They know if you are rude you might get shot. Happens all the time. Next thing you know they will be telling us to stop Lets Shoot an Immigrant."

A few hours later in Glasgowburg, Clydebank Shipyards

Em, a stunning 5'7" blond blue-eyed amazon gets out of the helicopter on the roof of the Clydebank Shipyards Hilton and helps Mike Bond get off the aircraft. As they walk to the exit Mike's artifical leg begins to click, whirr, snarl and make whooshing noises. Mike smacks it with the butt of a beat up .45 colt semi-automatic pistol. The whirring stops for the moment. They make their way to the elevator and arrive in the lobby of the hotel.

Em recognizes Heather, the receptionist. Em has stayed here many times awaiting delivery of their latest container ships. She spots the little man from Nimzonia and his bodyguard. She stops Mike and lets the little man finish his business.

In Hairybackistan

::Lenny, Walter, Butch, and Colleen are have been dragged through the forests, and now find themselves on a beach somewhere. The ape people are now standing in a circle around them, untying them from each other, but keeping them tied up. Walter has not responded to Lenny's demands for translation lately::

Lenny: For the last time, what in the hell are they going to do to us? Is it that bad?

Walter: No, it's not that bad.

Colleen: Come on Walter what is it?

Walter: ::sighs:: They're tying us to rafts and floating us down the lake...

Butch: What? Why are they doing that! Do they always treat visitors like this? They didn't even give us a chance to talk!

::One of the ape-people signals to the others. They tie the 4 to rafts and drag them over to the lake. The ape then turns and addresses them in English, with a slight British accent::

Ape: You certainly are fools don't you know? You really think we don't understand you, and don't know what you're up to. We couldn't possibly let you Avalanche terrorists know what we did with the HOUND.

Butch: You little bitch! You've been faking the WHOLE TIME!

Ape: Yes, well it was necessary that we... ok, so it wasn't necessary. But we certainly got great amusement out of it. ::The apes finish tying them to the rafts, walk out into the water, and push them away. As they float off the first ape turns to the others::

Ape: So Nigel, what did you do with the HOUND once we foudn them?

Nigel: Me? I didn't do anything with it Charles.

Charles: Dammit Nigel! I told you to put it somewhere while we took care of things here! Well if you don't have it, then who does?

::Several miles away, just inside a forest near the beach area, Tom Brokejaw looks into his Viewmaster::

Brokejaw: This is Tom Brokejaw, NBC News. This here is the High Orbital Ultra Nuclear Device, commonly knowns as the HOUND...

Eastern Detroit, Manarthian/Dubelco border: Djibiltu boarder town

Random SSGT: So, then they says to me, I've got to take a demotion to continue serving in the army. What am I going to do, I need the job.

Random 1st Lt.: You're complaining? You were just a SGT1, I was a prophet forsaken Major for prophets sake. What am I supposed to do?

SSGT: Well, at least you are still an XO of a company. I'm just another SSGT now. In administration no less, I've already done this.

Random Private: Sir! You should see this.

1st Lt.: What is it soldier?

Private: We've got a large exidus of Eastern Detroitians from our side. They're heading for the Dubelco side of the border.

1st Lt.: Did someone in charge approve this?

SSGT: No one in charge would approve this. This has to be an inside thing.

1st Lt.: So what's going on?

::A group of 350 odd Manarthian citizens of Eastern Detroit decent have crossed to the Dubelco border. They are lightly armed, with assault rifles and some kevlar armor, though no explosives or tanks are present. They request assylum::

::In Eastern Detroit::

Random LT.: Admiral, we have a message from a border town of Manarth. They say a large group of Eastern Detroitians are requesting assylum in our are of E.D.

Admiral McArthur: I see.... Well, we've never refused immigrants before. Let them into the borders. Send for any leader of this band to meet the closest commander in the region.

*A message is sent to the base that they will be allowed into the territory.*

http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=153499

This is the link for the cease fire conference with counterpoint.

On the northern coast of Omega Island, a short distance away from the city of Linai

::Jerry Hedler and his wife Caroline are walking along the beach, well away from the hustle and bustle of city life. Not that Linai was a huge city mind you. Being built on the remains of one of the cities built during the Beta Years, the mayor tried to keep it small and historical. But of course this beach to the northeast was well secluded from Linai, and very few people came out here. But Jerry and Caroline made it a habit to walk the beach here every single day. As they walk they discuss all the problems of modern life, being themselves in their early 80s::

Jerry: I tell you, I really don't know what the Premiere is getting at changing our name and all.

Caroline: Oh, I think the Premiere is a very nice young man. Full of life, and hopes for our future.

Jerry: Yeah, well I admit the Holy Emperor wasn't always the best at decision making, but he certainly tried! I just wonder what's going to...

::He pauses and looks forward onto the beach. For the first time in about 17 years he sees something on the beach that isn't normal::

Caroline: What is it dear? Do you see something?

Jerry: Why, why it's two people! Two people all tied up on the beach! There's a few cases of things. Probalby their clothes and money and stuff. They must've gotten tangled in the ropes when a ship crashed or something! I hear tales of pirates out there in Lake Erie don't you know...

Caroline: Oh those poor dears! THey must've been out here for a while! Let's help them shall we dear?

::The two walk (being a little frail and not able to run like they used to) down the beach untill they are standing in front of Mike James and Mike Coultrain. Jerry picks up the survival knife and begins to cut the ropes. Luckily for him, the ropes are flimsy and dont take that long. Jerry offers them a drink from the water bottle he alwasy takes with him on their walks::

Jerry: Well it's a good thing we were coming along wouldn't you say! I'm just glad we could help you! My name's Jerry Hedler, and this is my dear wife Caroline.

Caroline: Well don't just stand there dears! If you can walk, why don't you come back to our house in Linai. I have a nice pot roast that I can cook for you that'll help you get your strength back. I don't know if we can take your things back with us, it looks like Jerry's having a hooligan of a time picking it up!

::Jerry is trying to pick up the crate with the guns and ammo in it, but so far unsuccessfully::

Jerry: We'll come back for your things later this evening if you don't mind. Take whatever you need from there, and you can come back with us, and tell us your story...

*At the port of Raliegh, the new Edenstein Wooden fleet sets sail out of port, the main ship HES Intimidator is at the front with Admiral Torvalds, he stands proudly on deck as a lowly sea man comes up*

SM: Sir, we are clear of port, what are your orders?

Torvalds: *takes out a seemingly ancient and tattered map of LETI and looks at one point on the map in particular* Make sail, bearing 235 Mark 12, best possible speed, we are going in search of pirates....

SM: Aye Aye sir!

*Torvalds straightens his Red and Black uniform, its buttons gleaming in the midday sun, he takes out his telescope and scans the horizon, not totaly sure of what the next few days will bring for him and his fleet*

::In the Hence Palace, Zed Carmine is reading a few history books when Helmholtz Watson comes in the door::

Carmine: You know Watson, it's very interesting reading about all these dictators and how they got to be as big as they did.

Watson: What's that sir?

Carmine: Dictators! Look at this! Hitler was a tremendous speaker, and he came to power when his country was weak and looking for a reason to be proud of their country. Mao Ze Dong came to power because he won a war and routed his enemies. The people loved him. Stalin came to power because he got rid of his opponents, then his own propaganda made him an esteemed leader. All of these people were nearly worshipped like gods among their people.

Watson: Um, yes they were sir, and all of them spent their whole lives trying to stay in power, being paranoid of people trying to usurp their power, and actually being not so great leaders...

Carmine: Not-so-great leaders? Watson are you stupid? Mao used his power to make China feared by the modern world! Stalin made his nation one of the 2 most powerful nations in the world! Hitler used his power and had he not made one small mistake, would've taken over the world!

Watson: But sir, my point is that they made mistakes!

Carmine: There will be no mistakes this time...

Watson: Wh, what?

Carmine: Now that I've got them going on this anit-MadderMike kick, I need to give these people reasons to be proud of their leader...

*In Edenstein square all of the preperations for founders day are coming to a peak, the grandstands have been put out all along the square, wreaths have been put out with the glorius leaders and generals from Edenstein pasts. Large red banners with black outlined linux penguins are hung from some of the government buildings. The black haired girl walks through the square, avoiding all the hustle and bustle, she tightens her coat to keep out the chilling cold. I've got to remember my gloves for the festivities she thought to herself as the snow flakes spiraled down out of the sky. She opens her mouth and catches one on her tounge as she continues walking across the square*

On the northern coast of Omega Island, a short distance away from the city of Linai

Mike James and Mike Coultrain are walking along with their new found hosts. The Mikes are poor bank robbers but they are good con men and know when to make the most of an opportunity. They reach Jerry and Caroline's house and sit down for some coffee and blueberry muffins baked earlier by Caroline. They begin their tale.

Mike James "We are from MadderMike and because we are not very good marksmen we were outcasts in MadderMikian society."

Mike Coultrain "Yeah, so the government of MadderMike deported us here. We were told to rob banks and make a living on the run here in this peaceful little island."

Mike James "All those crates and boxes back at the beach --They are full of guns and ammo. You can check for yourselves. We just want to live our lives out in peace and harmony. Something that is impossible in MadderMike. Do you think your country would let us live here in this little town?"

::Back at Jerry and Caroline's house, the couple sits and watches as the Mikes eat their dinner and tell their tale. As Mike Coultrain tlaks about themselves, Jerry laughs::

Jerry: Did you hear that Caroline? They say they're bank robbers!

Caroline: Bank robbers? Oh but you're far too nice to be bank robbers! Why, you even think that there are guns back at the beach? I'm sure those are only your clothes! We'll go back for those later, when we finish dinner. My what appetites you have!

Jerry: Well if you boys want to make a living here in Linai, I'm sure you can. If you'd like, you can live here for now untill you make enough money to strive out on your own. You say you're from MadderMike? Hmm... I've never heard of that place. Where is it? What are people like there?

::The Supreme Consul sits at his desk, there is one camera focusing on his face.::

Good evening, tonight I talk to you about a matter of tremendous national importance. Technology has revolutionized every facet of life, and not the least of all military weapons.

Our intelligence service has begun to learn of a program to develop a new breed of military weapon. This is unique though, this is a true superweapon.

With the aid of a friendly nation we have learned more of this device, the High Orbital Ultra Nuclear Device, or H.O.U.N.D. This device is capable of destroying an area of 80 square miles, as compared to our most powerful nuclear devices which can devastate 8 square miles.

We MUST be able to respond to such a device, and as such I have received permission from the Congress to begin a massive program to develop this response. Our military is building a Super Bomb, which will rely on a pure fusion detonation.

I ask for your support in this endeavour, and prayers that this device need never be used. Thank you.

Estabi: Hold on a second, what is this?

With the aid of a friendly nation we have learned more of this device, the High Orbital Ultra Nuclear Device, or H.O.U.N.D. This device is capable of destroying an area of 80 square miles, as compared to our most powerful nuclear devices which can devastate 8 square miles.

Estabi: Edenstein had this device all along? Now, I KNOW that violates the LETI/LOTI Nuclear-Non-prolifferation Treaty. 100 Mega-tones per missile, and no space based weaponry. I think that was the rules.

OOC: It's archived, though I'm not sure Edenstein ever did sign it officially. I've been RPing as though I, Edenstein, and Samsylvannia did. And possibly Henceland Omega.

Estabi: That isn't good at all. Why haven't we had anyone checking up on this stuff. And Andaluciae is starting another build up? We need more nukes. Susan!

::His secretary picks up her phone::

Estabi: Get me Gen. Zimmerman, and tell call the Upper House for a meeting. We're about to violate a treaty.

*4th platoon comes across a clearing and there Brokejaw is standing with his viewmaster pointed at the HOUND*

Sgt: *Speaking quietly* Sir! I could pick him off from here.......
Lt: Ummm... no.... lets not quite just yet....

*they advance upon brokejaw quietly but Pvt Mathews steps on a twig*

Pvt. M: SHIT!

*brokejaw turns around looking at them through the viewmaster*

Brokejaw: Now, as 50 armed Edenstein marines advance on my posistion...

Sgt: STEP AWAY FROM THE WEAPON SIR!

Brokejaw: NO ITS MINE MINE MINE!!! PULITZER PULITZER PULITZER!

Sgt: I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!

Lt: Sgt stand down.... Now Mr. Brokejaw.... if you step away from the hound.... We will give you exclusive information as to scandal in Edenstein, especially with Emperor Ed....

*Brokejaw stops and thinks for a moment* What kind of information...

Lt: Good information....

Brokejaw: Alright!!!! *he steps away from the hound and as he does, 10 men from the platoon jump him into a dog pile*

Lt: *on the radio* Kafka Kafka... We have it repeat, we have the HOUND, requesitng immediate Dust Off and Pick Up....

*About a half hour later, helicopters land and pick up the soldiers, brokejaw and the HOUND and head back to Edenstein*

*General Sco Lee Osis runs up to Spina Bifida in the capitol building in Mirabar. Behind him a salt truck is driving around followed by a plow. The two vehicles are coveringthe last bit of land remaining. The entire nation of Mirabar is a complete wasteland. The only tree left remaining in the entire country is the Tree of Disembowelment.*

Osis: Admiral! We have combed the island and killed every single citizen we could find. After all the forest were burned, it was easy to hunt down and kill the rest. Rest assured that if there are any Mirabar citizens left alive, they're ones that don't and won't live here anymore!

Bifida: Excellent! In this case our work here is finished!

Osis: Should we cut down this tree sir, before we go?

*Bifida looks at the last victim who has walked around the tree untill they'd disemboweled themselves. The victim is almost sitting up against the tree with their intestines wrapparound the tree and themselves, as they sit on a pile of dead bodies that would make Golgotha look like a school playground*

Bifida: No, leave it there. WIth all the salt in the ground, it's not going to grow anymore, nor will it produce any other trees. We'll just leave it so that people can see what happened. Come now, let's go back home for now. I have to play some darts.

Osis: To decide which country to attack next sir?

Bifida: No, I just pick whatever strikes my fancy, and I know who the next target is anyway. I want to play darts because I stuffed a Mirabar citizen into my glove compartment, and I think he'd make a great dartboard.

Osis: How did you fit a person into a glove compartment?

Bifida: Well, he really didn't untill we started cutting off parts of his body. After that we used a big compactor and put him in there.

Osis: Was he still alive?

Bifida: Of course he was still alive! What ended up killing him apart from the loss of blood was the extreme heat in the car! Now let's go!

Heather couldn't wait to tell her friends at the pub all of the excitement here today. She was a little disappointed the VIP from Nimzonia wasn't wearing a horned helmet and huge beard. The little guy started to wander towards another potted fern so she called out "Mister Åsheim, Mister Åsheim, over here sir."

Åsheim turned around and began to wander over, as if he had meant to all along, wandering up to the desk in front of Heather, beaming behind his moustaches.

"Ah, yes, hello?" he inquired, as though answering the telephone, and not quite sure if someone was going to answer back, "I'm here for the treaty signing with MadderMike, you see, and I need to get to room thirteen, wherever that is. I'm afraid I'm not very good with directions."

He squinted at Heather suspiciously, as if to make sure it was definitely a receptionist he was talking to, and not another fire extinguisher. The bodyguard cast a slightly embarrassed look in the direction of Mike and Em, and shrugged.

In Izimbeckwi along the boarders of Edenstein controlled territory

*Engineers from the 12th Engineer corp, along with troops stationed along the border start erecting miles upon miles of barbed wire fences and gaurd towers. The towers are stationed aproximatly a quater mile apart with 5 million candlepower spotlights on top. Also, motion sensitive equipment is put at regular intervals to detect anyone trying to get across the occupied area, the soldiers along the fence line are simple, "Gaurd the fence, and shoot anyone trying to get across".

In Linux, the capital of Edenstein

*The founders day festivities have been going on since aproximatly noon, large military parades have been going down Edenstein square, speakers, massive rallies, and displays of Edensteins prestige and might. On the program is a Key note speaker planned for midnight, the rest of the day is un-eventful, the parades and festivities go on as planned, and then at midnight the crowd gathers to hear who the special key note speaker is. Usualy, the 12:00pm slot is reserved for the Emperor, but since there is none, an unusualy large crowd shows up to see who it is*

*The clock on the palace strikes 12, and the doors on the balcony stay closed... tension can be felt in the air but suddenly the doors open up and the band begins playing the Edenstein National Anthem, a man walks out and the assembled mass of people gasp, the man walks to the front of the railing dressed in a pristeine white naval uniform, large brown military trench coat, and white hat...*

Emperor Ed: GREETINGS COMRADES!!! Reports of my death have been greatly exagerated!!! *the crowd erupts into wild applause and cheering as Emperor Ed raises his hands to the crowd*

I am happy to celebrate our 184th year with you tonight, our history is rich in tradition and heritage, and I am certain that it will continue on for many many years!

*The crowd erupts into wild applause, somewhere in the distance, a guitar solo begins to wail....*

My comrades... we must stay vigilante! Even now, forces in this region are acting upon us, and thretening our way of life.... We must show these oppressive nations the true light, what it means to be on the "Right side", We have overcome adversity, and great odds in the past, and I am confident that you... my brothers and sisters... WILLl *smacks hand on railing in a huge gesture* triumph over this "New threat".

*The crowd erupts into wild applause once more.. The guitar solo in the distance reaches a fever pitch, as if mick jagger is going into a seisure*

Even now, our armed forces are stronger then ever, the War in Counterpoint is drawing to a close... the citizens of Izimbeckwi are liberated from their evil captors.. and the region is in a stable balance.

Stay strong comrades, stay strong... for you are the torch bearers of the new golden age of LETI! And I am honored to be your Emperor!

*The crowd erupts into sheer pandamoniom as the Emperor Raises his arms to the sky once again.... he turns and walks back into the palace as the crowd slowly disperses, getting ready for the wreath ceremony tomorrow out side of Raliegh*

Dubelco wishes to welcome Emperor Ed back to his rightful throne in Edenstein. May he reign til the end of days.

OOC: I am now 138! Bonus points to anyone who knows what that means!

*Stephani Schuster is finishing up the news on the Edenstein Nightly News*

Schuster: Shortly after the Emperor's return, a poll taken across the country showed that support and approval fo the government hit an all time high. The poll showed that 98% of the population with a +/- 2% margin of error.

Goodnight LETI this is Stephani Schuster Signing off...

*From a port in Eastern Detroit, Cargo Fleet 3 sets sail west towards the Locks to Lake Huron. Commerce and military trade for Baulderonia, and supplies for the Colony of New Dubelco.*

OOC: Some background before you read this post...

June 19th 1820 is the founding day of Edenstein, when we declared independence from the Newly formed United States... On June 20th of that year, a fleet was dispatched from the port at Erie Pennsylvania to smite this uprising, and a massive naval battle ensued. Edenstein came out victorius.. the war continued and they later won their independence.

Hence, every year on June 20th, citizens of Edenstein gather at Raliegh (The original capital) and place wreaths in the lake to remember all the sailors that have died in service to their country, and also to plead for the safe return of current sailors in service with the Navy....

IC:

*Emperor Ed walks to the edge of the lake at Raliegh, he holds in his hand a wreath which is multi colored in bright red and naval symbols and a linux penguin, he is followed by Admiral Ulonov who is carrying a similar wreath. As they reach the shore they see thousands of similar wreaths which are in various stages of floating away... Usualy there would be hundreds of people standing on the shore throwing their wreaths into the lake but at this time of night, they are the only two on the shore.. Emperor Ed turns to Ulonov*

Ed: Dimitri, why do you come down here with me every year... I know that you are not qutie the most sentimental of people.

Ulonov: Ed, there are some things that I must do... honoring the men and women that serve under my command, and those that have been saved and that have perished under my command as well. I come down here for the ones that can't come themselves. *he looks around and takes a cigarete out of his coat, it isn't snowing here, it is actualy a balmy 60 degree's, he takes the cigarette and lights it, he dosn't offer one to Ed, knowing he dosn't smoke* So why do you come out here....

Ed: Well... *looking out at the wreath's floating in the water, some with the names of sailors on them, ships, battles, from Edenstein history, even a few from other countries such as CoC, the former L-o-E and even Sketch a tear starts to form in his eye*

Lets just say I have my reasons....

*The two take the wreath's and throw them into the lake, they land about 20 feet into the lake and bump into a few other wreath's, there is a moment of silence as the two stand there silently, the only sound is the waves crashing on the shore, and Ulonov reaching into his pocket for a small book, he flips it to a page that had been ear marked, and he begins to read in a almost in audible voice*

Ulonov: "O Eternal Lord God, who alone spreadest out the heavens and rulest the raging of the sea; who has compassed the waters with bounds until day and night come to an end; be pleased to receive into thy Almighty and most gracious protection the persons of us thy servants, and the Fleet in which we serve. Preserve us from the dangers of the sea, and from the violence of the enemy, that we may be a safeguard unto our most glorious nation, Edenstein and her Dominions, and a security for such as pass on the seas upon their lawful occasions; that the inhabitants of our Empire may in peace and quietness serve thee our God; and that we may return in safety to enjoy the blessings of the land, with the fruits of our labours, and with a thankful remembrance for thy mercies to praise and glorify thy holy name, through Christ our Lord. Amen."

*Emperor Ed and Admiral Ulonov stand their silently taking in the moment, they turn around and walk back towards town, in silent reverence*

*In Dubelco, a C-130 takes off escorted by 5 wings of F-22's. They make for an air base in Eastern Detroit at top speed.*

Deep in the underground MadderMikian Government Offices

Prime Minister Mike is talking to his staff, "We can't have those locks to Lake Huron blocking our access to prime shipping. What kind of forces can we muster to take control of the locks?"

Mike Bond, Minister of Information and Intelligence "The First and Ninth Maniac Divisions along with the Fourth Airborne "Broken Ankle" Division are available, we have eight FRAM II destroyers and seven LSTs six old AOEs, one Nimitz class carrier, one Ticondaroga class CG. The rest of our assets are tied up in the Arctic, LOTI and homeland security."

Prime Minister Mike "Well, that will have to do. How soon can you come up with a plan and execute it?"

Mike Bond "We will be ready in one week."

Prime Minister Mike "Excellent, this operation will be named Trade Freedom"

On the northern coast of Omega Island, a short distance away from the city of Linai

Mike James and Mike Coultrain describe the gun happy society of MadderMike, the lack of decent education, the overall stupidity of the population, the underground life of most of the people leaving out the unparalleled opportunity to succeed in business.

The next day they wander over to their landing site and hide the weapons and ammo in a nearby cave. They are not used to the quiet life here and being out in the fresh air. They had heard some MadderMikians lived on the beach above ground but assumed it was an urban legend.

That afternoon they helped a farmer load hay onto his trailer and then load it into his barn. They saw cows for the first time in their lives. They cleaned gutters, drove the cultivator through the corn fields, milked the cows, gathered early vegetables and went back to Jerry and Caroline's house for dinner and promptly went to sleep, dreaming of large farm women.

Eastern Detroit: Dubelco Boarder

The Manarthian/ED citizens, who claimed assylum in Dubelco arrainge themselves along the Dubelcoan C-130. As the plane lands, a lone figure exits from the back, wearing the full cerimonial robes of a Muslem cleric, and the cerimonial headress of a Prophetian High Brother.

Man: I am glad to see that you all have made it in one peace. For far to long our masters in Manarth have oppressed us, the muslem minority, for their own prophit and gain. And I did little to stop it, for fear that I would not be listened to, and would lose what little power I had, but no more!

You all know me, I am the first born son of the Ayatollah of Eastern Detroit, the decendant of the ruling class of our fair nation! My uncle and adopted father, who's name I share, always told me that our nations could be one, but not now, not with the people of Manarth demanding their superiority over you. I propose a more fitting union of our two people, one where the Majority cannot upress the minority. One where our people can live in peace!

But first, we must remove the yolk of oppression from both our people. We move on Western Ohio today, and we will have help.

Lt. Gen. Lashski will be defection to our side, which is the border with which we will enter. His soldiers are primarily locals and simpithetic Manarthian marines who will aid us in our duty, but not at first. First, we must gather our loyal forces together. All of you know who you must find.

Let us do what we have come to do!

In West Palm Beach

General Manger of Reaction Airforce (a subsidiary of GCWPTF) Fayad Al-Harraz Narius: We have just recieved word from our Ayatollah! We are finally going home!

Airforce soldiers: Praise be to Allah!

Gen. Jeb Stuart III: Okay boys, we've got a job to do right now. We've got seven total corps that are going to relieve Dubelco in from a fictional assualt by LOTI/LETI forces. Our goal is to get five of those corps safely across the DPM territory. The Operation is named "Continental Railroad".

We will be facing opposition from our soldiers and Dubelco forces RPing as Edenstein and Manarthians. They will be opperating from 10 miles out of the border, and will push upwards to try to seize our ports. El Paso can't fall until we've all arrived here, and Senora can't fall at all, or else the entire opperation is a wash. These ports are mission critical, and without them we are all lost. In addition, Dubelcoan fleets and our fleets will be conduction offensive simulations of attacks on our forces as we try to arrive at DPM and Dubelco.

Our forces will consist of the VI-VIII corps, XII corps, XV corps, XXIII-XXIV corps, 2nd fleet, 3rd fleet and the 8th and 9th airforces. No more units would be feasable to send. Our goal is not to defend our DPM territory, it is simply to get our forces to Dubelco for assistance. But if we can succeed, we can and will sieze the locks. In other words, our secondary goal is to break through and sieze our opposition's starting point.

XII corps is already onstation, and XXIV and XV corps are at battle ready. We are simulating the initial attack on Dubelco now. Get to your men, and we will begin. I will be assuming direct command over this mission, Lt. Gen. Polaski will be directing the holding action against our opponents, with XII corps. Vice Admiral Caiman will be directing our naval opperations and defenses.

That's all people. Dismissed.

DPM land

The 1st and 3rd "Manarthian" Divisions have moved out, and begin shelling the XII corps troops with MILES artilery.

*Emperor Ed sits looking at backed up mail, looking to see what Ulonov was up to he stumbles upon the letter from Dubelco*

Ed: Hmmm it was a ruse.....

*he stops and thinks for a moment and then buzzes Jane*

Jane: Yes sir...

Ed: Has McMillian been released yet?

Jane: As far as I know.. he hasn't sir...

Ed: I see...

*He continues shuffling through the mail... and then comes by a high priority transmission from 2 agents in the field*

Transmission one:

Sir, the HOUND has been re-aquired, enrute to country..

Agent one

*he sets it down* AHHH I'll get my table leg back...

Transmission two:

Sir, Dubelcan and FA forces have begun war game excercises near the locks, recomend increased military presence in area

Agent two

*Emperor Ed pulls up his fleet finder and see's that the fifth legion fleet is still docked off of the locks, with many of the fleets being recalled back to Edenstein for retrofitting it is the one of the two fleets that are at 100% operating capacity. He clicks on 7th fleet stationed at Junon and drags them over to the LOTI side of the locks, then moves 1st army group to the area surrounding the locks and then Sends a Telegram to Manarth, and PM Estabi*

To: PM Estabi
From: Emperor Edward Mikhael Romanov
Re: Locks and 7th fleet

Mr. Estabi,

I take this opportunity to welcome you to a leadership role that I am positive will lead your country into a new age of prosperity. But at this hour, I fear this new age may be seriously in danger due to the recent actions of Dubelco and FA, we have come into some information that these two nations are running war games and maneuvers near the locks. As a precaution I have authorised moving 7th Fleet to the LOTI side of the locks and 1st army group to the lock zone.

I am respectfully requesting your permission to move said forces to the canal, in order to facilitate and mantain peaceful relatons between our two nations I find it imperative to recieve your approval of this action.

Sincerly and Respectfully,

Emperor Edward Mikhael Romanov

*he sends the letter and then Drafts another letter to Dubelco and FA*

To: The Governments of Featherstones America and Dubelco
From: Emperor Edward Romanov
Admiral Dimitri Ulonov
The people and Duma of Edenstein
Re: Military Maneuvers near the locks

To the asteemed leaders of Dubelco and Featherstones America, we have recieved word from our forces in and near the canal zone that your governments have started war games. Edenstein understands the need for military forces to be prepared.

To this extent, we are concerned about the area that these excercises are taking place. No previous knowledge of these activities where brought to the attention of Edenstein. This is very troubling.

Be advised that Edenstein forces are on high alert and any act taken towards Edenstein or Manarthian forces, the canal zone, or any attempt to breach the patrol lines of the fifth fleet in LETI waters will meet with immediate and swift retaliation.

Emperor Edward Romanov

*he clicks send then looks around for what Ulonov did with his rubix cube*

To: Emperor Edward Romanov
From: Confed C&C
Re: Military Maneuvers near the locks

There is no need for alarm. We are running simple war games to better prepare ourselves for "hypothtical" events. We have no intention of any hostilities on land, sea, or air. We have put a good distance between ourselves and yourselves on the land, and our ships are stationed in the ports. There is no cause for concern.

*Emperor Ed, underneath his desk, finds his rubix cube, triumphant, he sits up and begins to play with it... until he notices a letter from Dubelco*

Ed: hmmmm... so he completly dodged the question..

To: Confed C&C
From: Emperor Edward Romanov
Re: Military Maneuvers near the locks

With the sincerest respect, we request that you address the situation of not giving Edenstein prior notice to these proceedings. With what appears to be live fire training excercises, a lesser more war hungry government could of constued your acts as a blatent act of war. Edenstein being the peace loving nation that we are saw through this.

Please give a through explanation to the meaning of these excercises or we will explore further avenues of diplomatic, or military pressure.

Emperor Edward Romanov

*he pushes the send button and goes back to the rubix cube*

To: Emperor Edward Romanov
From: Confed C&C
Re: Military Maneuvers near the locks

The reason for the training is simply to simulate how the resupplying and reinforcing of each side would go if one side was attacked and reinforcements or supplies are needed. Since the Locks are not in our control, use of them is not 100% guaranteed. Therefore, we felt it necessary to simulate transporting supples etc. from one side to the other in different types of conditions. This will give us great benefit if the Locks were to become unusable in any way.

Live fire is not being used, although all troops do have some live ammo, although we can speak for our forces only.

Prior consent was not considered needed. The territory is allied controlled. While our ports and forces are close to you, none are close enough to be of any concern. All forces have been thoroughly checked out, and all accounted for. If there is anyone else there besides Dubelcan, or FAmecican forces, they are not ours or our responsibilty.

*Emperor Ed recieves the message and gets a rather purturbed look on his face and then calls Ulonov in a few moments latter he walks in*

Ulonov: Yes Emperor?

Ed: Dimitri do we still have operation shock and awe in our books?

Ulonov: Yes Emperor..

Ed: Good.. first, move some survelence satelites over their training excercises... I want to know when the infantry are scheduled to use the restroom... keep us informed of these excercises..

Ulonov: And operation shock and awe?

Ed: Execute it...

*Ulonov walks out as Emperor Ed begins sending a message*

To: Confed C&C
From: Emperor Ed
Re: Training

Proceed with your training, but remember the dire consequences that will result from crossing Edenstein

Emperor Ed


Meanwhile 250 miles off of the coast of Dubelco, just inside international waters

*The first Elements of Operation shock and Awe enter into posistion, these include vietnam era warships, such as forstal carriers, frigates and destroyers are put into posistion*

To: Emperor Ed
From: Confed C&C
Re: Training

We have no desire to cross anyone. Feel free to dispatch AWAC's or any other such surveliance that you like. If you wish, we will gladly send you a daily report of our movements.

OOC: I'm exploiting the dynamincs of fluid time because work sucks...

IC:

A few days after the First Elements of the Shock and Awe operation appear in international waters off of Dubelco, the Combined Edenstein 4th and 6th fleets enter into the same region.. 265 miles off of the Dubelcan shore.. in international water, and set up CAP flights and AWACS survelence making sure not to cross into dubelcan airspace.

Glasgowburg, Clydebank Shipyards Hilton

***Snip***

Åsheim turned around and began to wander over, as if he had meant to all along, wandering up to the desk in front of Heather, beaming behind his moustaches.

"Ah, yes, hello?" he inquired, as though answering the telephone, and not quite sure if someone was going to answer back, "I'm here for the treaty signing with MadderMike, you see, and I need to get to room thirteen, wherever that is. I'm afraid I'm not very good with directions."

He squinted at Heather suspiciously, as if to make sure it was definitely a receptionist he was talking to, and not another fire extinguisher. The bodyguard cast a slightly embarrassed look in the direction of Mike and Em, and shrugged.

Heather guides Åsheim to room 13 where Em, MadderMikian Secretary of State, Sub Ajutant Chief Flatulant Cow, Indian Casino Operator equivalent to Under Secretay of State, Minor dignitaries, flunkeys and as always the ever present Lackeys of all grades up to Under Sub Chief Lackey, were waiting.

Em explained that Mike Bond Minister of Information and Intelligence was called back to MadderMike on urgent business. She welcomed Åsheim to the proceedings.

She of course didn't need any protection from a body guard, the Indian had his ceremonial tomahawk, and Åsheim had his "Guide". The table was lined with pens for the signing which Em was convinced would not happen.

The news media was excluded until there was an official signing. On the table was the obligatory chrome plated .357 magnum Colt Python. Many of the gathered dignitaries didn't know that to make any MadderMikian treaty official, the main MadderMikian signatory would emboss their signature with a bullet hole. Thus the treaty was prepared on a very thick sheet of linen paper laced with flame retardant threads.

Clydebank Shipyards was very familiar with the MadderMikian tradition and room 13 had special flooring made to absorb bullets. The table was made of cheap plywood painted to look more expensive. There were several patches in the top of the table from previous contract negotiations.

Edit: Dubelco and FA have decided to swap parts in the exercises. FA rping the "LETI" forces, and Dubelco rping the "LOTI" forces. No more will there be references to any nation. (Except by the common soldiers)

TG to Emperor Ed

To: Emperor Edward Romanov
From: President Jake Featherstone
Re: Military Games

I appologize for not notifying you beforehand as to the nature of these games. I imagine it must have been quite a shock to hear about them. Please understand that the FA forces are using only MILES gear and dummy weapons with combat referees in the case of aircraft and navy. No live ordinance is scheduled for this exercise, though in the event we are attacked and must repond somewhere with these soldiers, live weapons will be onhand, in limited amounts.

We appreciate the buildup of your military allong the canal zone, and assure you that we respect your nation's rights to that land. What we are simulating is a simple attack on Dubelco from a LETI based power, with aid being given by a LOTI based power. Unfortunatley, with the current state of affairs, we cannot be guarenteed acess to the most convenient method of transport between the lakes, and to make things more difficult, we are assuming are opponents are granted access.

We have also noticed a small buildup of naval units off the coast of Dubelco. I would like to warn you against getting any funny ideas, either from us, or on your own. We assure you, our manuever is a peaceful one, and if yours isn't we will not hesitate to deal with it accordingly.

Thank you,

President Jake Featherstone

*Construction continues on the fenceline along the Edenstein controlled territory in Izimbeckwi, further down along the fenceline, a more perminent wall, about 10 feet high, rapped in barbed wire on the top. Also landmines are placed on the ground in strategic locations, as well as machine gun nests*

Åsheim wandered cheerfully into the conference room, beaming at the various dignitaries and lackeys from behind his moustaches. After spending a good few moments looking around, he eventually discovered the only table in the room.

He sat himself down at the table, and began to read the treaty, to make sure this piece of paper matched the one he was supposed to be signing. This seemed to go on for some time, and it was only when he began to emit a slight snore, that the cause of the delay became apparent. The Nimzonian bodyguard reached over and prodded Åsheim, who immediately woke up.

"...Hmmm!? Oh, yes, yes this all seems to be in order. Now, if you'll just bear with me..."

He ignored the pens lying around the table, and instead produced an archaic-looking fountain pen from his pocket, and unscrewed the lid, which made a loud creaking noise. He reached over to sign the treaty, but only succeeded in making scratchy marks on the paper.

"Hmmm," he grumbled, "seems to have dried up."

With that, he began shaking the pen, until eventually a spray of black ink flew across the room.

"Ah, that does it!"

He turned his attention back to the treaty, and carefully inscribed an elaborate signature. Having done that, he picked the paper up, to inspect it more closely.

"Oh, where's my signature gone?" he peered at the paper, which was still blank. Then he glanced down, "Oh! I appear to have signed the table! Whoops!"

Åsheim smudged out the signature on the table with his sleeve, and this time managed to sign the paper in the appropriate place. He beamed at the other delegates again.

"All done!"

Eastern Detroit - Manarthian occupied

::Random acts of violence have been plauging the border city of Medina for weeks. Now, armed irregulars march in the streets, and no one seems to know who's side they are on. The local Manarthian soldiers, at 1/4th strength due to recent reductions in troop size, are reluctant to find out::

::Mullah Tanquari Al-Iago Namazu is nominally in charge of the city, and the militant groups inside of it. And he is waiting for something::

::At the Manarthian foward base, a flight of 12 WPB F-4 Fantoms streak overhead. Each one begins shelling the hangars, and strafing the grounds crew::

::The fighter switch their transponder codes to the old codes used by the ED military, before it defected. And irregulars from the city begin to move out, encircling the base::

::The base's CO, Brig. Gen. Kraslowski, has been killed in the fighting. No one is sure who is in command. What follows is a slaughter::

::Hidden deep in the base, is one of Manarth's greatest deterents to a Dubelco lead invasion, now in the hands of ED rebels. The "Thor's Hammer" class of nuclear artilery. One giant artillery piece, towed by two trucks, and a 180mm in diameter nuclear shell, designed to deliver 10Mtones of blasting power across the border. Now, the irregulars have begun disassembling it, and preparing for it's movement elsewhere::

::The F-4 Fantoms, and other fightercraft bearing WPB markings touch down at the airbase::

To: PM Estabi
From: Emperor Edward Mikhael Romanov
Re: Locks and 7th fleet

Mr. Estabi,

I take this opportunity to welcome you to a leadership role that I am positive will lead your country into a new age of prosperity. But at this hour, I fear this new age may be seriously in danger due to the recent actions of Dubelco and FA, we have come into some information that these two nations are running war games and maneuvers near the locks. As a precaution I have authorised moving 7th Fleet to the LOTI side of the locks and 1st army group to the lock zone.

I am respectfully requesting your permission to move said forces to the canal, in order to facilitate and mantain peaceful relatons between our two nations I find it imperative to recieve your approval of this action.

Sincerly and Respectfully,

Emperor Edward Mikhael Romanov


Estabi: Who do we have at the locks right now?

Welland: Only the 17th Mobile Infantry Division, and it's at half strength while we shift forces around.

Estabi: Well, I suggest bringing it up to full strength and bringing some of the Northern Brittania soldiers over to help guard the canals. Say... ::He looks at the deployment map:: The 21st and 28th Armored. A full corps should be able to hold them long enough, should they decide to attack. Plus, move five of our "Thor's Hammer" units to the possition. Just as a precaution mind you. I still don't think FA and Dubelco would be this obvious with an attack. Though I can't shake the nagging feeling they are planning something.

Welland: Maybe it's a bait and switch sir. Slight of hand. Now we're focusing in on the locks, when the real trickery is going on elsewhere.

Estabi: Good point. But what could they be doing. Keep an eye on all movements by Dubelco and FA, and make sure they aren't pulling a fast one on us. Dismissed.

"All done!"

Sub Ajutant Chief Flatulant Cow compares his copy to the one that Åsheim finished signing and with a quill pen signs the document with a flourish. He then takes out his ceremonial tomahawk and with a sheepish grin pantomimes cutting his thumb. He then dips his thumb into some red ink and makes an imprint onto the treaty underneath his signature. He explains "HIV and all of that Political Correctness has prompted Chief Howling Wolf to modify the traditional drop of blood signatory."

He then passes the document to Em Secretay of State of MadderMike.

Colonoscopia, the inhabitable zone. Over the horizon, some say a faint glow can still be seen at night, near the location of the old capital. However, the borderlands remain relatively untouched by the tragic nuclear power accident which quite literally tore the heart out of Old Colonoscopia. The cleanup has been completed, and crews are already hard at work rebuilding the nation's infrastructure. Smaller towns have already begun to sprout up in the outlying areas; refugees have begun to return to their motherland, and are now trying to re-establish the lives they led in this once quiet, scenic nation.

The most magnificent of the skeletal structures being constructed lies at the center of town; the capitol building. Currently little more than steel framework and cement, one can already make out the rough outline the completed building will take: something of a cross between the Kremlin and the Space Needle, it towers over the rest of the new capital, New Seoul.

A few bystanders watch the construction of the massive edifice. One in particular, a striking dark haired young woman in her mid-20's, is snapping photographs near where the future balcony will be. After several minutes of photos of the structure itself as well as the surrounding buildings, she meanders off, then darts into a side street. There she jumps into an idling cargo van, which slowly drives off.

Inside the van, she passes the camera off to the driver, a man in his late 30s, dressed in the outlandish garb of the Old Colonoscopian Defense Force. He briefly glances back at her, then turns back to the road. As he turns, we realize he is none other than Yuri Andropov, former intelligence secretary of Old Colonoscopia.

Eyes still on the road, he begins to speak: "So, Sergeant, when is the Grand Dedication being planned for?"

The sergeant winces as her mind retraces the steps that led her to this insane venture. "They haven't set a date yet, but the building should be finished in a matter of weeks, most likely the Dedication will be shortly afterward."

"I trust you've collected enough visual references in this contraption for us to firm up our plan?"

"Of course, sir."

"Excellent."

The van picks up one of the newer interstates, and heads south, toward the Colon Bay docks, there to board a small speedboat, destination unknown...

Glasgowburg Hilton, Clydebank Shipyards, Room 13

Em Secretary of State of MadderMike is in shock, neither Nimzonia nor Indian Casino Operator were supposed to sign the treaty. There was no way Nimzonia would pay $20 billion a year in leases for the 5,000 square kilometers of land in the former Western Manarth. Oh Well, lets get this over with. she thought.

She picked up one of the pens placed there for the signing and carefully signed her name, and title. With amazing agility and superb skill she grabbed the .357 magnum Colt Python and just as quick fired and hit the treaty in the exact center of her signature. After her ears quit ringing she said "There it is official".

She then called in the press for official photos and a very short questioning session.

The first question was from Mike Squarejaw from MadderMikian News Network MMNN. He asked as he was obviously flirting with Em. Unbenownst to him he was also flirting with death. Em knew his expose had caused the bombing of the government headquarters in MadderMike. She had friends in the government who had perished in the inferno. His question "Why did Mike of Mike and Mike Shipping rent the parcel of land in what was formerly Western Manarth for only $20. per year?"

Em visibly blanched and looked at the now official treaty, sure enough it was for only $20 US not $20,000,000,000. She was still holding the .357 magnum and it still had 5 rounds of live ammo. She leveled the gun at Squarejaw's head aiming right between the eyes. In a voice laced with venom and pure unadulterated hatred she said "Mike is now your Prime Minister, you will treat him with respect or you will have me to deal with."

Squarejaw's forehead was covered in beads of perspiration and he was shaking. Not because he was looking down the barrel of a loaded gun, that was an everyday occurrence in MadderMike, but that the gun was wielded by Em. She placed in the top ten in the country every year in marksmanship in static targets and in the real life target situations. If anyone could carry out that threat it was her.

He managed to stutter out "I guess that ends the question and answer session"

Em stormed out of the room as soon as the official copies were made.

The Lackeys finished Dupe ing the Treaty.

Deep in the underground MadderMikian Government Offices

Mike Prime Minister of MadderMike hangs up the phone, "That was Em and she was pissed." he comments to Mike Bond.

Bond asks "What was she so mad about?"

Mike "Who knows something about missing zeros, rude newsmen something like that." "Lets get down to this business of the Lake Huron canals.

Bond picks up the phone and calls a number. Soon ADM Dewey and MajGen Mike Armstrong Custer enter the room. Mike invites them to sit on the wooden boxes containg the furniture for the new offices being built. He asks about the invasion force.

MajGen Mike Armstrong Custer "As you know sir we have three divisions on call, almost 30,000 men, equipment, supplies. By all accounts almost 15,000 combat troops and their support staff. We have 300 tanks, 420 Bradly fighting vehicles, 300 wheeled APCs and 700 fuel trucks and 1500 supply trucks. There is just one small problem."

Mike "And what is that?

MajGen Mike Armstrong Custer "Well ADM Dewey here says we only have 6 LSTs. They can carry about 174 tanks and 2,100 troops."

Mike "What! Where are all of our prepositioned expeditionary assets?"

ADM Dewey "Well, sir we have one complete set in the Arctic, one in LOTI and we have two more on order. "

Mike "What about sending in the Broken Ankle Airborne division?"


Custer "We forgot to purchase C130 drop planes. In the past we have used LHAs and helos to insert the airborne troops but they are all in the Arctic or in drydock for overhaul."

Mike "JM&J We have a war to fight and no way to get there." Bond didn't you say Edenstein was unhappy with the situation in Lake Huron?"

Mike Bond "Yes our spies indicate they are very displeased with the turn of events. "

Mike "Send a coded message to Ule...Ustonoff...er Ulonov see if he can help us."

Custer "Isn't Emperor Ed back in power?"

Mike "Oh maybe he is but this should go from you ADM to Ulonov, that way if anything goes wrong Ed and I can deny everything."

[code:1:463a378e49]Secret encoded message: From ADM Dewey
To: ADM Ulonov
Subj: Assistance in placing troops in Lake Huron canals

We are in need of some military assistance in placing a major force in the Lake Huron Canal system. We need enough LHA, LHD support to move 20,000 troops with support to the canals, including 3,200 heavy vehicles (300 M1Abrams tanks). We also need C130 support to drop one airborne division to lead the attack."

/ADM Dewey Chief of Naval Operations MadderMike[/code:1:463a378e49]

Glasgowburg Hilton, Clydebank Shipyards, Room 13


Sub Ajutant Chief Flatulant Cow jumps when Em blasts a hole in the bottom of the treaty. His head Lackey explains the odd MadderMikian custom and Cow calms down. When the reporter comes in and leers at Em then asks what seemed to be a perfectly acceptable question, he sees first hand the volatility inherent in MadderMikian society. Although he would like to see one of those slimy, self serving, pompous News Anchors get drilled between the eyes.

When all of excitement dies down and his Lackey has taken care of the treaty, Sub Ajutant Chief Flatulant Cow turns to Åsheim and invites him to see the city. He explains to Åsheim how important it is to keep excellent ID on his person as the shipyards need workers and press gangs roam the city. Everything is usually sorted out later but unless Åsheim wants to spent a couple of days welding in the dry docks he will keep his ID in guarded possession. "Meet you here in the lobby in about an hour then?" he asks.

Ret. Gen. Zimmerman: Sir. We've lost Outpost 6-Utah-Indigo on the Dubelcoan border.

Estabi: Okay, so we bring everything we have to bear on it. What city is that near?

Zimmerman: Medina sir, but there's something more...

Estabi: What?

Gen. Saunders: Well, sir. Due to recent cutbacks in soldiers along the Dubelcoan border, we moved some of our "Thor's Hammer" nuclear devices close by, in case they started getting any funny ideas. Now, Dubelco doesn't use nukes, and we only had a few, so we assumed it'd be safe enough to nuke them if they ever tried a full out invasion of ED land.

Estabi: Oh prophet no...

Zimmerman: One of these devices, Hammer-47, was located at the outpost, sir. We recieved word that the Space Affairs personel guarding it tried to remove it when it became clear the base was being overrun, and we lost communication with them somewhere around the outskirts of the base. Now, it's possible it was destroyed, but that would take a miracle sir. It's safe to assume they have a nuke.

Estabi: So, what's our move now?

Zimmerman: I suggest nuking the area. We still have several intercontinental missiles in working order, and Hammer-46 located within range of the outpost. If we nuke the area, and we're sure it's still there somewhere, nothing at all gets in or out without our servalence detecting it. Plus, we take out a whole mess of WPB planes, which we can only assume they purchased.

Estabi: No, I don't want civilian casualties. Especially not Manarthian civilians. These are the people that elected me to the House for prophet's sake, I'm not going to nuke them! Saunders, how many forces do we have on hand?

Saunders: Around 4 Battalions worth, if we combined them into full strength units. Plus some airforce and naval airforce out of Ustani. We could retake the city, sir, but it'll be costly.

Estabi: Can we pin down where the nuke is?

Admiral Orpheus Smith: Special Forces? I think Space Affairs can come up with it if you give him a day and ask nicely. Let my boys go in and have their fun...

Ret. Gen. Paul Welland: Sir, don't use the fish for a sand opperation. We have a 27 man special forces squad that just got done with wargames in... Not quite sure where, but they invited us. Let them have a shot at it. More firepower than the fish'll give you.

Estabi: Okay. We'll let the Army handle this one. Anything else?

Zimmerman: Dubelco is shipping stuff into Lake Huron, but then again that doesn't seem to bad.

Estabi: I did tell you to keep your eyes on them, didn't I. Well, I hate to say it, but I see their fingerprints all over this flairup. We'll deal with them soon enough, mark my word.

XXIV and XV Corps have arrived at Senora, and despite shelling of the port by "LETI based bombers" it is determined that landing are still taking place, though slower than previously hoped for.

In the south, XII corps have engaged the 1st and 3rd "LETI" divisions, and the "LOTI forces" (Whatever Dubelco brought to play), and has slowly begun it's withdrawl. After the first 24 hours, the Eastern Wing of the XII corps has been pushed back only 1/8th of the way to El Paso, while the Western Wing has only withdrawn 1/15th of the way to Senora. Causualties are heavy for both sides, though lighter for XII corps, which had carefully prepared possitions leading up to the assualt.

Disaster struck the VI corps shipment, as two wolfpacks of subs targeted the fleet transporting it, and while five of the subs were "destroyed", 3 entire battallions were "sunk" and a carrier had to turn back for repairs.

And an Edenstein AWACS plane, misidentified as a "LETI Aircraft" was "shot down" by a infared paint missile from Revenge 11, a young F-15E pilot. Featherstones America has offered to pay for the cleanup, remarking "OOC: That's for tagging me earlier... LOL". Though what that means is uncertain.

New Seoul, capital of New Colonoscopia.

Work continues on the rebuilding effort. Shops are beginning to sprout up along Nicotine Blvd., the main strip of New Seoul. Apartment blocks are being constructed, and a few skyscrapers are being erected in the commercial sector, though they are still dwarfed by the now half-finished capitol building. Clearly, the citizens of Colonoscopia are anxious to begin their lives anew, after years of living in emergency shelters and shanty towns throughout the region. The streets are bustling, though most of the vehicles on the road are large, unwieldy, and blatantly off-road capable... a reminder that beyond the confines of the city, there is still much work to be done.

The newly elected Premier, Theodore Nugent, looks on with his staff as work continues on the palatial capitol building.

Nugent: Goddamn, it sure is a big sonuvabitch.

Minister: Well, sir, with all the 'humanitarian aid' money from the UN, and the telemarketers working day and night soliciting donations, we've managed to completely and inexplicably rebuild our entire economy in an uncannily brief span of time.

Nugent: Ha... yeah, I was wondering about that. That new finance minister... um, Kenneth Lay, you said his name was?.. anyhow, he seems to be doing a fine job. Remind me to send him something nice next Christmas... you know, like a grenade launcher or something.

Minister: Uh... grenade launcher, sir? Aren't we mostly saving those for the military?

Nugent [looks toward the minister with narrowed eyes]: Are you questioning the sovereign right of every citizen in this country to bear large caliber, military grade arms, son? Besides, grenade launchers make fine gifts. Not only are they good for decoratin' a wall, they're also practical... perfect for small game.

Minister: Um... yes, sir. Er, no sir. Er... yeah.

Nugent: So when are we openin' this big ole' bastard up?

Minister: Well, sir, the Grand Dedication is set for March 15th, just a month from today.

Nugent: That's great, son. Make sure the media's all here, this is gonna' be the biggest shindig most of these folks've seen for a long time.

Meanwhile, miles away from the capital, other people are saying much the same thing, though for very different reasons...

Glasgowburg Hilton, Clydebank Shipyards, Room 13

*snip*

When all of excitement dies down and his Lackey has taken care of the treaty, Sub Ajutant Chief Flatulant Cow turns to Åsheim and invites him to see the city. He explains to Åsheim how important it is to keep excellent ID on his person as the shipyards need workers and press gangs roam the city. Everything is usually sorted out later but unless Åsheim wants to spent a couple of days welding in the dry docks he will keep his ID in guarded possession. "Meet you here in the lobby in about an hour then?" he asks.

Åsheim seemed oblivious to the tension in the room after the signing, and spent a good few minutes rubbing his ears after the gunshot. He adjusted his spectacles and peered at Sub Adjutant chief Flatulent Cow.

"Oh yes, my government always makes sure I have full ID with me." he opened up his jacket, to reveal a laminated tag inside, saying, "Your name is Sven Åsheim. You are a citizen of Nimzonia."

"In an hour, you say?" Åsheim took a huge ancient pocket watch from his jacket, and peered at it, before putting it away, "Oh yes, I'd be delighted to."

He looked around to where Em had stormed off, "Oh. Did I do something wrong?"

*snip*

He looked around to where Em had stormed off, "Oh. Did I do something wrong?"

Sub Ajutant Chief Flatulant Cow says "No I think she wanted to kill someone, wisely no one offered her the chance." "You know the MadderMikians quick on the trigger, slow on the uptake." He added with a knowing look.

::In Fei Fong Wong, HO's Founder's Day celebration is about to begin. Blue and Silver Arrows of Hence are everywhere, and the entire city is decked out. A parade is set to begin from Yggdrasil Square. Tom and Diane stand by as the parade is about to start::

Tom: Well Diane, it's a beautiful day to celebrate Founder's Day, and only a few short days Edenstein began theirs. June 24, 1342 is the day when Alexander Corran overthrew the crazy King Dyne III, thus founding Henceland Omega as we know it today! Diane?

Dinae: Indeed we are Tom! I have here with me the Ayaname family, the parents of HO's 2 billionth child. They will have the honor of beginning the 602nd Founder's Day celebration!

::Mr. Ayaname looks out at the throngs of people and holds up his hand, placing the golden whistle in his mouth and blowing it. The crowd cheers, and Winnebago Falls High School marching Band leads off the parade with Sousa's Sempre Fi march. The parade runs all morning, with the last float having Premiere Zed Carmine himself on it. When he reaches the end point, he stands, takes the microphone and holds out his arms. The crowd quiets down::

Carmine: Greetings Hencemen everywhere! I am most pleased to speak with you this Founder's Day! While it is true that we are now free of the tyranny of the Corran Dynasty, I am no unbearable leader who will change your day of celebration. For in fact modern day HO was founded on June 24, back 602 years ago, so why change that now?

::The crowd erupts into cheers of support. Carmine nods for a moment, then holds up his arms again::

Carmine: That's right. We have been around as a modern day nation for 602 years! That doesn't even count the 100 Beta Years, the 200 Years of the Void, or the FOUR THOUSAND YEARS of Druidic inhabitants! My Hencemen, we are blessed not only with a great and wonderful nation, but also with perhaps the most ancient and historical civilization in all of LETI! That is why on this day I urge you, turn to your fellow Hencemen, some of which you may have never met before, and shake their hand. Congratulate each other on being a wonderful citizen of this country. Celebrate their Henceness, their L337ness!

::He looks to the sky and throws his arms into the air. In perfect synchronization, the Steel Angels fly overhead, leaving a smoke trail in the form of 4 arrows. The crowd erupts again, and continues their celebration::

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the village of Linai

Jerry: Hey Mike and Mike! Come here and watch the tele! It's our Founder's Day. You might be intersted in this if you plan on living here.

Caroline: Heh heh. You might want to take the boys and show them our national pasttime...

Jerry: Oh dear. You know last time I tried to do that that I needed a hip replacement. If I take these boys today I think I'll just watch. There'll be plenty of people to show them how it goes.

Caroline: Would you boys like that?

In the village of Linai

The two Mikes were enthusiastic about celebrating anything. They agreed to join the festivities and told their hosts it would take them about 20 minutes to get ready.

The two ran down to the beach and opened the cave entrance and picked out a pair of 9mm semi-automatic pistols, one for each and some extra ammo. A celebration meant one thing firing one's weapon into the air with great glee. Not that many people in MadderMike died during the World Series, Super Bowl and World Cup celebrations. They did not want to miss the fun.

They tucked the guns in their waistbands and covered them with their loose fitting shirts worn in the local style. The extra magazines went into their pockets. Maybe they would meet some local farmers daughters.

Special Report!!!

We have just recieved word that the CoC, once in total isolation, has elected a new PM, who has vowed to bring the CoC back into the international stage once more.

When reached for comment, he was quoted as saying "We are currently trying to double our active army, navy and airforce."

Find out more about this new mistery leader of the CoC, tonight! (OOC: When Wayne get's back)

Mike of Mike and Mike Shipping calls ADM Dewey and MajGen Mike Armstrong Custer into his office, "Well how are the battle plans going?"
MajGen Mike Armstrong "We have moved the advance parties into the surrounding area and have set up some covert command posts. We have one operational SR71 flying aerial reconnaissance, and we are moving the 21st "Mercenary" fleet to Manarth to pick up some Naval assets. They should be in the air right now."

Mike of M&MS "What about the Arctic assets?"

ADM Dewey "The Megalomania and her battle fleet have entered the St Lawrence and are about halfway through."

Mike of M&MS "What about the Schizophrenia?"

ADM Dewey "She is also on the way back from the Arctic."

Mike of M&MS "Anything else?"

ADM Dewey "There are 3 arsenal ships in LOTI heading for the Welland Canal."

MajGen Mike Armstrong "And of course we have our extensive cruise missle battery on alert. The fleet units have the "Schoolyard Bully" Artificial Intelligence system and the land units all have the upgraded "Mafia Hit Man" AI. There is a 2-1-1 ratio of Block Module 1, 2, and 3. One being HE, two being air burst cluster bombs and three our ultra secret 5 warhead head heat-seeking anti tank missle systems."

Supreme Consul Baq: Octu! What is going on? Why's the militia all riled up?

Octu: Oh, must've not gotten your memo yet.

Baq: Ya know dern well I can't read. Why do you think I keep you around?

Octu: Yes, yes. Pax Germania is sending an official to visit! We're setting up visiting quarters for him and whoever he's deciden to bring along. We also need to be getting a special meetin hut for you'n some of the other Mugwamp officials to be meetin in. Oh, and I'll be needin ya to sign off on this.

Baq: What is it?

Octu: It be for a new flyer. Aeronotics just got done with the first test. This just says you'll be lettin keep testin it.

Baq: Well that there be the funniest lookin flyer I ever did see! What the hell. When can I see it action.

Octu: Soon sir. Very, very soon. {{grins evilly}}

http://www.angelfire.com/ns2/manarth/map.html

For anyone who doubts that Manarth has sole ownership of the St. Lawrence.

The things so old it still has Balderonia on it.

Tag of doom...

*Tag* your it!