NationStates Jolt Archive

It's almost as bad as Starship Troopers. (And I had to watch that movie twice, just to make sure it was really that bad.) :D

I actually liked the first one....

Definitely wouldnt recommend watching the next two...God the horror, It actually made me Nauseated it was THAT BAD!...Thats 3 hours of my life Ill never get back...And I think they ruined the first one for me too, I cant think the word Starship Troopers without my stomach hurting anymore...

honestly this line from the 2nd review sums it up for me

Indeed. Only issue I have with that statement is that it was 2hrs 25mins, NOT 2 hours, of Spielberg pissing on Kubrick's grave.

And wiping his arse on Kubrick's gravestone.

Indeed. Only issue I have with that statement is that it was 2hrs 25mins of Spielberg pissing on Kubrick's grave, not 2 hours.

And wiping his arse on Kubrick's gravestone.

I think it was 2 hours of piss and 25 minutes of shit.

I think it was 2 hours of piss and 25 minutes of shit.
I defer to your superior judgment and exquisite taste.

I think I only agreed to watch it to get into the panties of the girl I was dating at the time. And I truly felt at the end of that movie I thoroughly deserved my tops and fingers. Dammit, I had worked for it!

I defer to your superior judgment and exquisite taste.

I think I only agreed to watch it to get into the panties of the girl I was dating at the time. And I truly felt at the end of that movie I thoroughly deserved my tops and fingers. Dammit, I had worked for it!

I don't know if that film is worth booty.....depends on the booty.

I don't know if that film is worth booty.....depends on the booty.

In hindsight no it definitely was not. However at the time I'd been going through a very painfully extended period of drought amore-wise and was thus incapable of using the reasoning sections of my brain (since the majority of my blood was further south).

In hindsight no it definitely was not. However at the time I'd been going through a very painfully extended period of drought amore-wise and was thus incapable of using the reasoning sections of my brain (since the majority of my blood was further south).

At least tell me there was alcohol and/or drugs involved with watching this movie. Only alcohol got me through the hour that I did see. (but don't remember much of)

At least tell me there was alcohol and/or drugs involved with watching this movie. Only alcohol got me through the hour that I did see. (but don't remember much of)
I can at least put your mind at rest there. We watched it on DVD. I opened a bottle of wine to share and ended up knocking at least 3/4 of it back myself - and then opened another one. It certainly helped get me through the movie. Though it was extremely difficult to keep my smartarse comments to myself towards the end.

Again in hindsight, I should have taken her enjoyment of this movie as a huge warning sign. Alas my swollen pods got in the way of rationality.

I can at least put your mind at rest there. We watched it on DVD. I opened a bottle of wine to share and ended up knocking at least 3/4 of it back myself - and then opened another one. It certainly helped get me through the movie. Though it was extremely difficult to keep my smartarse comments to myself towards the end.

Again in hindsight, I should have taken her enjoyment of this movie as a huge warning sign. Alas my swollen pods got in the way of rationality.

See what happens when you think with your dick?

See what happens when you think with your dick?
all the time.

all the time.

gotta stop doing that.

gotta stop doing that.

what, and break tradition?!

If you can come up with a way to stop men thinking with their dicks that doesn't involve surgery or bromide you'll be a billionaire.

what, and break tradition?!

If you can come up with a way to stop men thinking with their dicks that doesn't involve surgery or bromide you'll be a billionaire.

or dead.

what, and break tradition?!

If you can come up with a way to stop men thinking with their dicks that doesn't involve surgery or bromide you'll be a billionaire.

Oh okay (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_brain).

I'll take my billions in small unmarked bills please. :)

Seriously, I despise this kind of sexist stereotyping.

The Token black man in an adventure movie who inevitably ends up dead, while the superior moral male character (usually a chiselled and good looking guy), survives by sacrificing him for the 'greater good'.

That or Women only allowed to be either screaming damsels in distress, or emotionless killers who would kill anyone, or ignore good advice like not attacking a fortress defended by superduper killer robot machines.

The movie. Why?

because that movie touches on all the overused Plot Devices in Mystery movies/books. :tongue:

Not sure if they've been mentioned, but here are two that really piss me off.

First the "reset button", wherein an excuse is contrived to ignore changes that have occurred over the course of a book/movie/episode/whatever, and restore things to the status quo. Very popular with ball-less episodic TV series. Saves writers (and executives) from having to develop new ideas, hire new actors, or risk losing a fan base by changing the formula. One variation is to simply have little or no episode-to-episode continuity. This can work well for situational comedy or satirical shows like South Park/The Simpsons, which rely heavily on throwing their characters into various insane situations depending on the point/joke they are trying to make.

Second, the technobabble plot resolution. This is a favorite of science fiction, and has its fantasy equivalent in what I like to call "spellobable". Basically it tends to involve building up a complex or impossibly bad situation in the plot, and then resolving it not through logic or character development or even random chance, but through some tacked on bullshit gimicky device or trick (which is generally poorly thought out or explained). I imagine that this technique relies a great deal on ideas like "its just science fiction, so it doesn't have to make sense," thereby lowering the respectability of the genre by making it easier to dismiss as lowbrow entertainment only, and insulting the audience's cognitive capabilities.

Note: Star Trek is an especially grievous offender on both counts, and the two often go hand in hand. The resolution of the Harry Potter series is also a potential example of technobabble, or in this case, spellobable.

Reset button can be annoying, but I've seen it done well, on an episode of Angel.
The blood of a demon turns Angel human. It also eliminates every reason he had for breaking up with Buffy. The two of them have a perfect romantic evening, complete with chocolate peanut butter ice cream and falling asleep in each other's arms. However, Angel discovers that he will no longer be able to protect Buffy, and she will die sooner than she would otherwise. The only way to save her is to erase the previous 24 hours, including his one perfect night with Buffy. He does, the fans cry, and Joss Whedon provides additional evidence for my theory that he sold his soul for epic writing skills.

My least favorite plot device? The scientific explanation so badly wrong that it breaks my suspension of disbelief. Spiderman 2, The Core, I'm looking at you.

Dear God I hate that... Some guy who can't use a gun, or can't fight, or use whatever the heck they use in the era they're in, and one movie/book mmonth later he's crossing swords/trading bullets with the enemies elite soldiers who train for years and years and he's WINNING!
Best seen in Kingdom of Heaven where Orlando Bloom is given 2 minutes instruction by his dear old dad about how to hold a longsword - then later proceeds to kill 1/2 a dozen veteran Knight Templar.
If only someone had taught them how to hold a sword!!

Only read 1/3 of thread so apologies as im sure this is a repeat but i hate dream scenes, where what you see happening turns out to be just a dream. HATE that. Hate that. Hate That.

Best seen in Kingdom of Heaven where Orlando Bloom is given 2 minutes instruction by his dear old dad about how to hold a longsword - then later proceeds to kill 1/2 a dozen veteran Knight Templar.
If only someone had taught them how to hold a sword!!

Better seen in the original Gundam series. Amuro gets into the latest technological creation, a Huge Giant Robot and proceeds to fight off enemy forces with the Frikken Manual on his lap. Yep. not only are the Enemy incapable of defeating a kid piloting a large mecha, they can't beat a kid piloting a large mecha while reading the owner's manual! :D

Jhann if you wan to talk about his original incarnaton. But yes.

How d'you spell it? Jhannamanam or what? I can't remember properly, he left months back.

Best seen in Kingdom of Heaven where Orlando Bloom is given 2 minutes instruction by his dear old dad about how to hold a longsword - then later proceeds to kill 1/2 a dozen veteran Knight Templar.
If only someone had taught them how to hold a sword!!

I have to defend one of my favorite movies here...in the Directors Cut, it is explained that Blooms character had participated in military campaigns in France, both on horse and as a siege engineer...so it's not like the guy didn't already know what the hell he was doing.

A shot to the inside of the thigh will leave you bleeding to death in short order I believe.
I hear people have an awful tendency to die when bad things happen to their femoral artery. Something about them needing their blood INSIDE their bodies.
Reset button can be annoying, but I've seen it done well, on an episode of Angel.
The blood of a demon turns Angel human. It also eliminates every reason he had for breaking up with Buffy. The two of them have a perfect romantic evening, complete with chocolate peanut butter ice cream and falling asleep in each other's arms. However, Angel discovers that he will no longer be able to protect Buffy, and she will die sooner than she would otherwise. The only way to save her is to erase the previous 24 hours, including his one perfect night with Buffy. He does, the fans cry, and Joss Whedon provides additional evidence for my theory that he sold his soul for epic writing skills.

My least favorite plot device? The scientific explanation so badly wrong that it breaks my suspension of disbelief. Spiderman 2, The Core, I'm looking at you.

Every time a fan cries, Joss masturbates.

I hate plots like "You only thought that you were manipulating me into thinking that I was manipulating you, when all along..." particularly if the earlier actions don't actually make any sense in terms of what the "real" motives of the supposed characters are supposed to have been. A lot of the "Dune" series suffered from this.

I have to defend one of my favorite movies here...in the Directors Cut, it is explained that Blooms character had participated in military campaigns in France, both on horse and as a siege engineer...so it's not like the guy didn't already know what the hell he was doing.

that makes the rest of the movie much more sense, esp the whole leaving it to Orlando to organise defenses against Saladin's seige. Extremely stupid they cut that part out. As it was the movie was just plain dumb: Poor uneducated Blacksmith finds out his daddy's a nobleman. This somehow gives him the ability to fight like a veteran, woo princesses, charm kings, organise defences against seige, strategically plan battles and generally be a kick-ass warrior.

that makes the rest of the movie much more sense, esp the whole leaving it to Orlando to organise defenses against Saladin's seige. Extremely stupid they cut that part out. As it was the movie was just plain dumb: Poor uneducated Blacksmith finds out his daddy's a nobleman. This somehow gives him the ability to fight like a veteran, woo princesses, charm kings, organise defences against seige, strategically plan battles and generally be a kick-ass warrior.


http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MartyStu

Ahem. Yeah.

The Montage.

I hate plots like "You only thought that you were manipulating me into thinking that I was manipulating you, when all along..." particularly if the earlier actions don't actually make any sense in terms of what the "real" motives of the supposed characters are supposed to have been. A lot of the "Dune" series suffered from this.

Xantos Gambit (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/XanatosGambit). Because villains are mind-readers or heroes are totally predictable.

I dislike the existence of the Lowest Common Denominator in all forms of entertainment.

(1) Protagonist characters who are recklessly impulsive, who ignore reasonable authority figures, who whine about their situation a lot, who can't say five words to their girlfriend without making their relationship prospects worse. (Before inexplicably turning five minutes before the end into sunglasses-wearing one-liner-tossing badasses with expert marksmanship.) This can sometimes be explained by the main characters being children or teenagers, but the real reason is so that the audience can "identify" with them.

(2) "Science is bad", or any other such form of anti-intellectualism. Fortunately becoming less common these days with the various forms of intellectual culture going mainstream, and a larger proportion of the modern audience being made up of those once considered nerds.

(3) Fanservice, especially when it is irrelevant to or detracts from the actual plot. It's really kind of insulting to viewers. Or at least, those viewers who aren't aroused by it.

(4) Ignoring details or getting them wrong intentionally just because it's assumed nobody in the audience would know enough about the subject to notice. Especially grating when the details they get wrong are something anyone could learn about just by spending five minutes at Wikipedia or something.

(5) Use of anachronistic historical settings with serious bent (rather than playing it for comedy). A historical fantasy in which the swords are built with 17th century metalworking, society is run with 19th century ideas about gender roles, the knights adhere to 14th century rules of chivalry, and the crusades are still going on would be an example. I concede that this can be absolutely hilarious if played for comedy, and especially if the time period they're getting wrong is the present day.

Okay, so those aren't really plot devices, but they still annoy me. One true plot device I don't like:

The N+1th option, also known as the "debate and switch" tactic. The plot sets up a dilemma with no right answer and N choices, all with positives and negatives. Then the heroes resolve it with choice N+1, which is completely perfect in all respects and far superior to all the other options but totally avoids the issue at hand. Let's say the issue was abortion, and the choices were "completely pro-life", "completely pro-choice" and a wide range of compromises. Rather than picking either extreme option or any of the compromise situations, the government decides to start growing babies in incubators and bans pregnancy altogether. To give another example, Character A must choose between the affections of B or C, who are both fully fleshed-out characters with their own merits and flaws, but before she can make the choice A dies when a sneeze causes a blood vessel in her brain to rupture. (This doesn't have anything to do with the plot device wherein Bad Guy forces Good Guy to choose between saving the world or his girlfriend, although that's also pretty annoying as it's become extremely overused, and the answer is invariably that Good Guy will do both while simultaneously kicking Bad Guy's ass.)

Xantos Gambit (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/XanatosGambit). Because villains are mind-readers or heroes are totally predictable.

I dunno. I've always liked the idea that, while the differences between people are like all the quantum fluctuations and weirdness occurring on the subatomic level, build up enough people into a society and they become reasonably predictable, like space on the level that's visible to the naked eye. Just as there are laws of physics, there may well be equivalent laws of sociology and economics and whatever -- with some adjustment for influential individuals, but not all that much.

Okay, so it might require quadrillions of people, but someday psychohistory will totally be real, dammit!

The Montage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cnNfxkf-IQ

that makes the rest of the movie much more sense, esp the whole leaving it to Orlando to organise defenses against Saladin's seige. Extremely stupid they cut that part out. As it was the movie was just plain dumb: Poor uneducated Blacksmith finds out his daddy's a nobleman. This somehow gives him the ability to fight like a veteran, woo princesses, charm kings, organise defences against seige, strategically plan battles and generally be a kick-ass warrior.

Do yourself a favor and go find the Director's Cut and watch it...Ridley Scott was cheated out of another Oscar by Fox's insistence on cutting the length of the film. Plot holes are filled, characters expanded upon, the settings (place and time) are made to feel more real, and the story makes much more sense.