NationStates Jolt Archive

It could be more that it's an "old fashioned" and feminine look ... that perhaps makes some men regress to the old days when sexual assault (while still not acceptable) was far more likely to go unreported and unpunished.

I understand why someone might find it attractive but, I certainly am not going to let someone justify behaviour based on its attractiveness.

Anyone with pedo tendencies. Seriously.

Suppose they're attracted to underage girls, but they always do the right thing and conceal that, not act on it and try to get out of sight of the girl who'se turning them on. I can easily imagine that that could turn into a phobia about school uniforms and pigtails.

I think he was just an idiot, or, failing that, found me indimidating because I was happy enough on my own and didn't particularly care for his company.


Indeed. But gays are far more likely to BE raped, wouldn't you say?

It's possible.

And I wear great big skirts a lot of the time, and cute, feminine shirts. But I'm also big all around and wear my hair short - maybe guys think I'm a dyke? Even though I'm usually with my husband (and wearing my wedding band when I'm not...) I also wear cleavage-y Italian Renaissance dresses. Go figure. And I don't even have my shit kickers anymore! :(

I also had a guy walk up to me while doing a demo at the local RenFaire and call me a 'wench.' In front of my husband. Then he laughed when I informed him that I am an honorable married woman, showing no ankle. jerk.

I'm not even going to post my experiences, because -based on another thread- apparently people have trouble accepting "truths".

What right back to you?!?!?

I'm not saying kids are sex crazed imbeciles. Why is having sex with a teacher now something only and imbecile would do? If the teacher is hot and willing, why not? (assuming your male, and the teacher is female)



I see. :)

Good point. It may complicate your life if the relationship becomes public knowledge, and may make that class awkward afterwards but hey, all that stuff would be later. Go with flow, and take charge!



Yeah. The law regarding female teacher and male students doesn't really seem right to me. (high school students, anyway).

I'm so sick of people thinking sexual abuse is funny.

It's not. Even if you have the hots for your female teacher because you're too much of a loser to get laid by girls your own age.

End of discussion.

What right back to you?!?!?

I'm not saying kids are sex crazed imbeciles. Why is having sex with a teacher now something only and imbecile would do? If the teacher is hot and willing, why not? (assuming your male, and the teacher is female)


Or if he had a girlfriend, or didn't want to have sex so early, or wasn't comfortable having sex with a teacher, or just didn't feel inclined to at that particular time and place.


For many of those reasons.



Good point. It may complicate your life if the relationship becomes public knowledge, and may make that class awkward afterwards but hey, all that stuff would be later. Go with flow, and take charge!

Yes. Some people like to consider things we call "consequences" before taking idiotic actions.



Yeah. The law regarding female teacher and male students doesn't really seem right to me. (high school students, anyway).


You have still failed to show why male students are more capable of giving informed consent than female students, and I don't think you even understand what informed consent is.

This whole issue of guys being raped outside of prison is laughable. It is so rare it doesn't warrant attention. If 10% of all rapes are male-on-male, this would require that well over 10% of all rapes occur in prison (since females can be raped in prison, as well).

I cannot imagine a young male teen turning down a good looking teacher.This sounds like an argument from ignorance (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Argument_from_ignorance).

Assuming it wasn't rape. For the most part, a guy won't have sex with an unnattractive teacher. So I suppose that explains the 'hot teachers' you mention.

It could be statutory rape.

I know two guys who have been sexually assaulted. One was anally raped.
The first incident happened in the toilets of a pub. The second happened in a public toilet where my friend was cruising for gay sex.

But think what you like. Frankly, I'd rather not have you attention.

That is rape.
You endorse it.
You are a rapist.

Goodbye.

That's really terrible for your friends. Thank you, though, for proving that it does, in fact, happen, considering several people seem to think "guys can't get sexually assaulted or raped outside of prison".

To be fair, it is only rape if one of the two people involved was not consenting.

And if the student is underage, he can't consent.

Sorry about your friends, but if one was looking for gay sex, he got it.

You make me sick.

No it isn't rape. It is a young guy getting lucky.
You are prude.
You are wrong.

Goodbye and good riddance to you, pal.

If someone doesn't consent, it's rape. It doesn't matter if they're male or female. You are wrong.

No. Different standards.

Guys are supposed to go out and fuck. Girls aren't- though they do and guys don't mind.

Father's want their son's to get laid.

Father's do not want their daughters to be sluts.

Fair or not, that is the way of things.

Fathers don't like having apostrophes placed in the middle of their title.

And fathers don't usually want their sons or their daughters to be overly promiscuous.

Your assumptions are sexist.


Then you don't know many father's now do you?

Father's? Is that anything like fathers?

How many times do you hear of father's bragging that their daughter's just brought home and fucked some guy? Never.

How many times to you hear father's bragging that their sons just got lucky? Fairly often.

That's just how society is. Women are discouraged from being promiscuous, while men are encouraged to be.

As I said earlier, fair or not, that is the way of things.

What sick society do you live in?

Young guys getting lucky is all, assuming the teacher is decent looking.

Of course.

I cannot imagine a young male teen turning down a good looking teacher.

Therefore it isn't rape.

It is a young guy getting lucky.

It's usually statutory rape, and it's against policy. Also, it can mess up the student's schooling life and life in generally.

Are you fucking insane?

The answer to that question is "yes".

It could be statutory rape.

And if the student is underage, he can't consent.


I believe I mentioned that later on, but perhaps not quite so obviously. At the time I didn't want the thread going in the direction of this debate, but it appears it did anyway.

Of course.

I cannot imagine a young male teen turning down a good looking teacher.

Therefore it isn't rape.

It is a young guy getting lucky.

Oh shit guys, the laws are based on trollgaard's limited imagination. We are all fucked.

Oh shit guys, the laws are based on trollgaard's limited imagination. We are all fucked.

If you are a man.

If you're a woman, you never get fucked somehow...even if you have sex with someone. I hear it doesn't count.

What do you do to prevent yourself from being sexually assaulted?

- Well I'm a guy, so I guess the best way for me to prevent this would be to stay out of prison. Though who knows what can happen when passed out drunk so I limit the amount of alcohol I drink when out.


What do you do to prevent yourself from being physically assaulted?

- Try not to instigate, travel in groups and use common sense such as staying out of dark alleys and parking in well lit areas. I plan to get my pistol permit soon, but I doubt I'll actually carry the gun anywhere, i'm just getting one to exercise my 2nd amendment right (if government and criminals have guns, i want one too). plus, it'll be fun to take it to the shooting range.

That's really terrible for your friends. Thank you, though, for proving that it does, in fact, happen, considering several people seem to think "guys can't get sexually assaulted or raped outside of prison".

If I'd had an experience like that myself, I probably wouldn't mention it here. Even second-hand, and after some years of healing, it's hurtful to be told "oh he got what he was looking for."

But, you know. It's just a discussion and I don't have to participate in anything which makes me angry. I choose not to feel anger. :)

Male

1. Judo, plus an inclination to fight extremely dirty. You'd be surprised how many people lose the will to fight after a knee to the groin or a thumb to the eye. Biting works too.

2. Staying off the bad streets past midnight, traveling in groups, using well-lit streets.

I'm so sick of people thinking sexual abuse is funny.

It's not. Even if you have the hots for your female teacher because you're too much of a loser to get laid by girls your own age.

End of discussion.

That's the thing.

I don't see it as sexual abuse.

Also, that was a pretty lame flame.

1. I went to one of those chastity balls and I wear a chastity belt.
2. I wear white poofy dresses and carry a loaded shotgun.

1. I went to one of those chastity balls and I wear a chastity belt.
2. I wear white poofy dresses and carry a loaded shotgun.

Haha, that would work.

1. I went to one of those chastity balls and I wear a chastity belt.

Hey, I paid sixty-five bucks to chase titty, and I get this?

I'm female and have experienced both 1 & 2.

The strategies are pretty much the same for both scenarios:

Don't travel alone at night; stay away from blind alleys and doorways when walking; never park next to vans or trucks; park in well-lit areas; travel with my dogs whenever possible (rottweiler & german shepherd); avoid intoxication, especially in public; never be alone with men I don't know very well; learn basic self-defense techniques; avoid confrontation; don't dress provocatively; always carry a cell phone; stay alert and aware of my surroundings; be discreet when opening my wallet or purse to avoid showing any cash or cards.

:sniper:

Hey, I paid sixty-five bucks to chase titty, and I get this?

That's what you are going to get.

You need to be more specific in the future, to avoid misunderstandings like this one.

That's what you are going to get.

You need to be more specific in the future, to avoid misunderstandings like this one.

At least tell me it's a boy chastity belt. One made for girls would be distinctly ... snug. :eek:!

A "father / daughter ball" was mentioned on NSG once (we were talking about single parents) and I remember thinking it sounded a bit perverted. Now I look up "chastity ball" and I find that that's exactly what it is. That crock of "chastity ring" bullshit.

At least tell me it's a boy chastity belt. One made for girls would be distinctly ... snug. :eek:!
Rather snug...yes.
A "father / daughter ball" was mentioned on NSG once (we were talking about single parents) and I remember thinking it sounded a bit perverted. Now I look up "chastity ball" and I find that that's exactly what it is. That crock of "charity ring" bullshit.
If I recall, NSG is where I first learned about these chastity ball things.
Yes, it does sound a bit perverted.
Pledging chastity to one's father in some sort of ceremony sounds like going exclusive in a relationship.

Pledging chastity to one's father in some sort of ceremony sounds like going exclusive in a relationship.

Bingo. Girl remains father's property until married. Father just has to promise to stop cheating on the girl's mom.

About the only way it could be more wrong is if there were strippers to keep the dads entertained. :p

About the only way it could be more wrong is if there were strippers to keep the dads entertained. :p

Where do you think I work on weekends?

If I'd had an experience like that myself, I probably wouldn't mention it here. Even second-hand, and after some years of healing, it's hurtful to be told "oh he got what he was looking for."

...I know how that feels.

But, you know. It's just a discussion and I don't have to participate in anything which makes me angry. I choose not to feel anger. :)

I should probably do the same thing.

What do you do to prevent yourself from being sexually assaulted?
What do you do to prevent yourself from being physically assaulted?


Ninteen pages in and I'll answer the OP like it's brand new...for no reason whatsoever except I'm bored...

Dude.

1. Not an issue.
2. I look really sketchy, so half the time people think they're protecting themselves from me. Actual scary people of course see right through that, but in those instances I just act like I'm supposed to be there and no one bothers me. This is a shoddy system but it has worked so far.

That's the thing.

I don't see it as sexual abuse.

Also, that was a pretty lame flame.

If someone older, particularly someone in a position of power (ie. the teacher) has sex with an underage student, it's rape. Full stop.

And it wasn't a flame.

I believe I mentioned that later on, but perhaps not quite so obviously. At the time I didn't want the thread going in the direction of this debate, but it appears it did anyway.

Yeah, I wasn't arguing with you, I was just...adding.

Yeah, I wasn't arguing with you, I was just...adding.

Ah.

If someone older, particularly someone in a position of power (ie. the teacher) has sex with an underage student, it's rape. Full stop.

And it wasn't a flame.

Oh?

So saying people only have the hots for teachers because they can't get do someone their own age is not a flame?

No. It is. A damned stupid flame.

People can have the hots for a teacher and still be getting some action from other students.

Stupid, stupid statement you made.

Anyways. Trying to get back on topic.

Someone mentioned male on male rape accounts for 10% of rapes. That isn't a large percentage.

How many of those male on male rapes occur in prison?
How many of those male on male rapes occur in gay bars/gay areas/whatever?

How many of those male rape victims are over 18?


Do you get my point?

It doesn't seem like something an adult straight male outside of prison need concern himself with.

Oh?

So saying people only have the hots for teachers because they can't get do someone their own age is not a flame?

No. It is. A damned stupid flame.

People can have the hots for a teacher and still be getting some action from other students.

Stupid, stupid statement you made.

Anyways. Trying to get back on topic.

Someone mentioned male on male rape accounts for 10% of rapes. That isn't a large percentage.

How many of those male on male rapes occur in prison?
How many of those male on male rapes occur in gay bars/gay areas/whatever?

How many of those male rape victims are over 18?


Do you get my point?

It doesn't seem like something an adult straight male outside of prison need concern himself with.
I know someone a straight man, over 18 who was sexually assaulted in a club.
But you are dellusioned.
Perhaps if you get raped or sexually assaulted, you'll realise.
Because clearly people's stories and opinions aren't going to change your mind.

Clubs are also a possible place.

You mean like night clubs? I don't dance, so I don't really go to those. The only clubs I go to are concert venues, and I go to those with my friends and stay sober until I get home.

You mean like night clubs? I don't dance, so I don't really go to those. The only clubs I go to are concert venues, and I go to those with my friends and stay sober until I get home.

Yes, I do.

Anywhere is a possible place. Like I've said before, if someone wants to assault you'll they'll assault you.

Yes, I do.

Anywhere is a possible place. Like I've said before, if someone wants to assault you'll they'll assault you.

So, basically there's nothing I can do.

I want this to be a gendered response, so please, state your gender when answering.

I have two questions for you. Either in the course of a normal day, or as an overall strategy.


What do you do to prevent yourself from being sexually assaulted?
What do you do to prevent yourself from being physically assaulted?


Note...I find it self-evident that the fault lies not on the victim, but on the perpetrator...nonetheless, many of us have 'strategies', and I'd like to hear yours.

I'm a male.

1: I be ugly.
2: I don't keep money in my wallet.

I want this to be a gendered response, so please, state your gender when answering.

I have two questions for you. Either in the course of a normal day, or as an overall strategy.

[1]What do you do to prevent yourself from being sexually assaulted?
[2]What do you do to prevent yourself from being physically assaulted?

Male
1. Nothing
2. Nothing

Male.

No one has ever gone out of their way to try to victimize me.
I dont think I have that easy victim look.

Size and body english pla ya role. I'm about average-not small.
I think once you've handled yourself physically a few times,your whole posture is different,though.

I'm totally willing to react with whatever is necessary to protect myself and wouldnt hesitate for a second. It would be reflexive and not something to suffer a decision over.

I think that experience and attitude convey a posture and an image that tells a would be attacker moving on might be a better option.

I want this to be a gendered response, so please, state your gender when answering.

I have two questions for you. Either in the course of a normal day, or as an overall strategy.


What do you do to prevent yourself from being sexually assaulted?
What do you do to prevent yourself from being physically assaulted?


Note...I find it self-evident that the fault lies not on the victim, but on the perpetrator...nonetheless, many of us have 'strategies', and I'd like to hear yours.

Male.

-Keep myself to myself
-Look slightly intimidating but not provocative
-Avoid trouble
-Knowing the fact that I'm a 6'2 12 stone 8 pound Rugby player puts most would be attackers off.

I know someone a straight man, over 18 who was sexually assaulted in a club.
But you are dellusioned.
Perhaps if you get raped or sexually assaulted, you'll realise.
Because clearly people's stories and opinions aren't going to change your mind.

That would be a rare event, then.
I don't go to clubs, so no worries.

And I wouldn't be raped. I would kill whoever tried to do it in the most brutal way I could come up with at the moment.

And I wouldn't be raped. I would kill whoever tried to do it in the most brutal way I could come up with at the moment.

Oh the idiocy of this statement amuses me so much.

I want this to be a gendered response, so please, state your gender when answering.

I have two questions for you. Either in the course of a normal day, or as an overall strategy.


What do you do to prevent yourself from being sexually assaulted?
What do you do to prevent yourself from being physically assaulted?


Note...I find it self-evident that the fault lies not on the victim, but on the perpetrator...nonetheless, many of us have 'strategies', and I'd like to hear yours.

In both cases:

1. Situational awareness is the primary means. If you have the situational awareness of a fucking rock, bad things can happen to you even if you have the means of defending yourself.

2. I carry a pistol.

Those of you who are familiar with my posting style will know that I am not particularly prone to emotional outbursts, but I have genuinely been fighting the urge to flame Trollgaard to kingdom come.

I will just say this, Troll - you are wrong. So very, very, very, very wrong, and many of your comments were beyond disgusting. In particular, the crack about, "well, he was looking for gay sex and he got it" is one of the most nauseatingly crude and offensive things I have ever read, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

That would be a rare event, then.
I don't go to clubs, so no worries.

And I wouldn't be raped. I would kill whoever tried to do it in the most brutal way I could come up with at the moment.

Hah!

Seemingly, you'll only learn from experience.

Oh the idiocy of this statement amuses me so much.

Ditto.

Someone mentioned male on male rape accounts for 10% of rapes. That isn't a large percentage.

How many of those male on male rapes occur in prison?
How many of those male on male rapes occur in gay bars/gay areas/whatever?

How many of those male rape victims are over 18?


Do you get my point?

It doesn't seem like something an adult straight male outside of prison need concern himself with.Male-on-male rape accounts for at least 10% of rapes. It's hard to say how many exactly, partially because of underreporting, and partially because in some states it's legally impossible for a man to be raped. This also doesn't include the rate of female-on-male rape, which according to this site (http://www.aest.org.uk/survivors/male/myths_about_male_rape.htm) says 2-3% of the rapes of adult men are by women.
While the majority of the rapes are in prison or the rapes of children, it is not rare to be raped outside of prison. There are many examples, but to quote the site I linked to in the previous paragraph, "one worrying increase is in the amount of rapes during robberies, muggings, and house break-ins in order to attempt to stop the person [from] reporting the crime."

Male.

1. Not a concern.
2. Maintain a network of hundreds of friends and acquaintances, establish myself as a helpful and valuable member of the community, and resist fear. If all else fails, bite like a leprechaun.

Male: I've never really had to seriously worry about either. It might help that I'm 185cm+ and a fairly laid back sort of person.

Female.

To be honest, I don't really do much. Most of what I do is purely common sense--not walking around at night or going through bad parts of town by myself, etc. I've been lucky and never had any kind of problem, either. Of course, to some extent that could have to do with how I present myself. My outfit on an average day consists of jeans and a loose T-shirt--far from anything that could be considered revealing or flaunting my sexuality. I don't dress that way to avoid trouble, though. It's just my "style," I guess.