NationStates Jolt Archive

Hello, good folks of NSG.

A whole lot of threads pertaining to homosexuality have been popping lately, as it periodically happens on this forum.

This thread is to be set aside from the others: this is no place for debate, no place to argue about morality or choices, nothing of the sort. This thread is intended by me as a means of allowing you ask everything you have ever wondered about homosexuality but never had the occasion (or dared) to ask.

I am, of course, a gay man, and I am willing to answer all questions honestly and truthfully according to my present life experience. To put things into perspective, know that this is something I do on a regular basis in the form of volunteer work. I visit high school classes during their Sex Ed periods, at the behest of teachers, to answer the questions of the student regarding sexual diversity. So I am as qualified as can be for this task without having a Ph.D in Sexology.

If a lesbian woman likewise feels comfortable to answer questions specific to female homosexuality, then she would be quite welcome to complement this thread with her presence.

Ask away!

*snip

Have you ever encountered a Platonic gay relationship?

Great idea, this'll be interesting.

How do gay people usually figure out that they swing differently than what they've been told is expected? Did you just get nervous around and have crushes on the same sex instead of the opposite when puberty hit? Did you always know or was there a time when you assumed you'd turn out to be straight just like in all the boy meets girl fairytales? Did you try the straight thing before realizing it's not what you like?

Have you ever encountered a Platonic gay relationship?

Yes, I have, several times. Currently, one of my good friends, whose name is Émile (we're both french Canadians, hence you might find our names funny) is also gay, and we've never done anything that went beyond platonic. Never kissed, groped, or anything of the sort.

He's still a very important person for me, a guy for whome I have a lot of respect and affection.

Yes, I have, several times. Currently, one of my good friends, whose name is Émile (we're both french Canadians, hence you might find our names funny) is also gay, and we've never done anything that went beyond platonic. Never kissed, groped, or anything of the sort.

He's still a very important person for me, a guy for whome I have a lot of respect and affection.

Hm. Vastly interesting.

Do you find that some, many or most gay men to have negative feelings towards bisexuals/heterosexuals?


Why are gay people so happy and fun to be around more often than not?

How do gay people usually figure out that they swing differently than what they've been told is expected? Did you just get nervous around and have crushes on the same sex instead of the opposite when puberty hit? Did you always know or was there a time when you assumed you'd turn out to be straight just like in all the boy meets girl fairytales?

For me, it took a little while and soul searching. I was never really interested in females, but I kinda-sorta thought that might have simply been because I had never met a girl who met my standards. In other words, I was convincing myself I was simply waiting for Mrs. Right.

Of course, whenever I saw a cute boy walk by, or changing in the locker rooms, for example, I'd sneak a peak. But I was telling myself it was normal and all for the sake of comparison, of course.

So yes, I assumed I'd turn out straight like in the fairytales. But what really made me realise I was attracted to guys was when puberty was well on its way, and well, like most healthy boys in their teenage years, I began to masturbate. It became pretty telling that when I would playing with myself, I'd actually be thinking and visualizing naked a random cute boy I'd met at school, rather than a cute girl. That's pretty much when I can say I realized something didn't quite work right in my expectations to end up just like in the fairytales.


Did you try the straight thing before realizing it's not what you like?
No, but I came close. It was in my college years, I had a close female friend, whose name is Isabelle, who was pretty interested in me. Well, she didn't necessarily want a relationship, but was attracted to me and thought it might be fun for things to become physical between us. One day, we both went to a party at a friend's, and ended up sleeping over there, in the same bed. Clad in only our underwear.

To say I was tense would be a euphemism. I really was ill at ease, I knew I "ought" to want to take things further, explore sexuality a bit (I was still a virgin at the time), but really I didn't want to. I was confused, and confronted to the fact that not only did I fantasize about boys, but I didn't want to feel this sort of intimacy with a girl. I ended up getting out of bed, and went to sleep on the couch instead. That's the closest I've ever got to trying the straight thing.

Do you like looking at a penis, if so what part do you find most attractive? :p

Do you find that some, many or most gay men to have negative feelings towards bisexuals/heterosexuals?

Very few(if any) gays of my knowing have negative feelings towards heterosexuals. Most of those who might fit this category only really have negative feelings towards heterosexual homophobes, not heterosexuals themselves.

As for bisexuality, well, I admit some gay men have problems with that. I've heard some say "Oh, they're gay but just aren't ready to come out of the closet completely yet" or "They're just confused" or "They just want to fuck anybody". I disagree with all those views, and they're certainly not widespread, but they exist. As for myself, I have bisexual friends and love them dearly, but I admit I would probably have a feeling of uneasiness if I was to date one.


Why are gay people so happy and fun to be around more often than not?
This one is easy: it's because we're fabulous :p

No, seriously, I believe that the fact that gays and lesbians have to come through a lot of trials and overcome a lot of obstacles, not the least being the "getting out of the closet" period, plays a big role in this. When you go through all this, well, it sort of forges your character, just like any heterosexual person who lives through hard times but emerges victorious is likely to shine brighter than before those hard times. It's a human trait called resilience, and is a wonderful thing behold. I know I can personally thing of two such events that have shaped me and my life: one is my coming out, and the second is the break up of my first relationship, which was a long-term, serious commitment that lasted three years. I wouldn't be who I am without those dark times I had to overcome.

Do you like looking at a penis, if so what part do you find most attractive? :p

I most certainly do, mine and other's confounded :D

I cannot really think of a part in particular, but rather as a whole. I tend to like them pink, and with an upwards curve, uncut. I also prefer trimmed pubes and shaved testicles, it's much more fun to play with than someone who has the amazonian rainforest equivalent around his genitals.

But if I really had to choose a part, I'd choose the head, I think.

Do gay guys enjoy time with frutiflies as much as we enjoy time with you?

=)

And do you have a monthly cycle? The only guy I know who has a noticeable monthly cycle is gay, and he tends to get on the same cycle as the women he spends the most time with (just like women often do). I'm wondering if that's more common than I think - particularly among gay men, or if it's fairly uncommon across the board.

Is it true that if a gay man bites you, you become gay yourself, and that the only way to kill a gay is to cut off its head?

Or, was that zombies? .... I always get the two confused.






In all seriousness, though. How often do you generally find people treat you differently when they find out? Does that happen a lot in Canada, or is that more isolated to the more conservative United States?

I'm imagining the rainbow volcano that would erupt if Fass were here to see this thread. Then again, if Fass would hate it, that's as good a reason as any to think that this thread is just fine.

Do gay guys enjoy time with frutiflies as much as we enjoy time with you?

=)

Yes, we certainly enjoy the privileged relationship we have with our female friends. I know I love to be able to check guys out with them, and compare taste with them. It's also easier to build trusty relationships without any sexual vibe getting in the way; some straight men can be insecure or uneasy, and sometimes with other gay men the attraction factor can disturb a good friendship. With females, of course, this is no problem.


And do you have a monthly cycle? The only guy I know who has a noticeable monthly cycle is gay, and he tends to get on the same cycle as the women he spends the most time with (just like women often do). I'm wondering if that's more common than I think - particularly among gay men, or if it's fairly uncommon across the board.
I know I don't, and I don't know a single gay man whom I've noticed had a monthly cycle. Either that person you know is an exception, or my empirical evidence is statistically flawed.

But I know I certainly regard it a one of the little perks of being gay to avoid PMS and monthly cycle troubles with my significant other. Some of my straight friends come to fear that time of the month and it can cause significant stress in their relationship; I'm glad it's a reality I don't have to live, nor live with.

What is your opinion on gayprides ?

Pointless and irrational. May as well be proud of having brown hair.

What is your opinion on gayprides ?

Very few(if any) gays of my knowing have negative feelings towards heterosexuals. Most of those who might fit this category only really have negative feelings towards heterosexual homophobes, not heterosexuals themselves.

As for bisexuality, well, I admit some gay men have problems with that. I've heard some say "Oh, they're gay but just aren't ready to come out of the closet completely yet" or "They're just confused" or "They just want to fuck anybody". I disagree with all those views, and they're certainly not widespread, but they exist. As for myself, I have bisexual friends and love them dearly, but I admit I would probably have a feeling of uneasiness if I was to date one.


This one is easy: it's because we're fabulous :p

No, seriously, I believe that the fact that gays and lesbians have to come through a lot of trials and overcome a lot of obstacles, not the least being the "getting out of the closet" period, plays a big role in this. When you go through all this, well, it sort of forges your character, just like any heterosexual person who lives through hard times but emerges victorious is likely to shine brighter than before those hard times. It's a human trait called resilience, and is a wonderful thing behold. I know I can personally thing of two such events that have shaped me and my life: one is my coming out, and the second is the break up of my first relationship, which was a long-term, serious commitment that lasted three years. I wouldn't be who I am without those dark times I had to overcome.


Yes you are fabulous.

I dunno about most bisexuals but I for one do want to fuck everybody that I am attracted to :D

Is it true that if a gay man bites you, you become gay yourself, and that the only way to kill a gay is to cut off its head?

Or, was that zombies? .... I always get the two confused.

Actually, nope, it's if a gay man gives you a blowjob that makes you gay ;)

And the only to kill a gay man is to make him wear unfashionable clothes, obviously.





In all seriousness, though. How often do you generally find people treat you differently when they find out? Does that happen a lot in Canada, or is that more isolated to the more conservative United States?
First off, I'm Canadian, and live in the province of Québec, luckily one of the most open-minded places in North America. So no, I don't usually get treated any differently for being gay.

As a matter of fact, I'm extremely open about my sexual orientation, and am out of the closet to my whole family, at work, and at university. Any time someone reacted poorly to my coming out, I simply confronted them and answered their questions. I'm pretty much of the school of thought that the main reason for homophobia is simply ignorance of the reality of homosexuality, and that once you fix that ignorance with information and discussion, homophobia quickly disappears. Hence the present thread and my volunteer work that does reach a similar result.

What is your opinion on gayprides ?

Important in a historical perspective: the first gay pride "parade" was actually the Stonewall riots in 1969. In a time and place where police routinely sent squads into underground meeting places for gays (who were back then not allowed to openly congregate) to beat them up and arrest people arbitrarily, one fateful day police officers ended up choosing the wrong faggots to mess with. Turns out the fetishists, Drag Queens, closeted gay businessmen, ordinary folks and flamboyant ones alike, didn't feel much like getting clubbed that night.

So they took up to the streets, fought tooth and nail against the police force, and made themselves visible. Their message was : " We are here. We usually don't bother anyone, we live our lives discreetly and hidden, but still you oppress us. Even repressed we cannot hope to be left well alone. So now we chose to get out in the open, show you how numerous and strong we are, and we tell you without any ambiguity we've chosen to fight and refuse to disappear just because our very existence makes you uneasy. We're going to be strolling in your streets until you accept us for who we are, and let us live our lives in peace just like we let you live your lives in peace".

Nowadays, of course, gaypride is nothing more than big festival, a party, at least in Canada where the legal battles have been won. Still, it is no more flamboyant, features no more nudity, and is no more shocking that say the New Orleans Mardi Gras or Rio de Janeiro's Carnival. Yet, Gaypride are villipended and get negative, stereotypical, sensationalist media coverage, just because it is associated with a minority. I say gay men and women can allow themselves to party just as much as straight men and women, and should be not swept up in generalizations for being flamboyant during such an event just because they're gay. I resent such double standards.

And actually, I'd like to incite every one of you who hasn't attended a gaypride before to it at least once. That will give you a feel of the event and show you what it really is, instead of merely seeing the biased, sensationalist view purported by written and televised media.

why are my gay male friends so much more understanding of my plight than anyone else in the world? they all seem.....so empathetic.



also, are you attracted to yourself in the mirror?

Giving or recieving?

Spit or swallow?

Thank you for a clear response :)

A less serious question: do you agree with the statements of Takei in the following video ?

http://www.influks.com/post897.html

Still, it is no more flamboyant, features no more nudity, and is no more shocking that say the New Orleans Mardi Gras or Rio de Janeiro's Carnival.

So there is quite a bit of nudity, then? ;)

When are you rolling out gay history month? :)

Giving or recieving?

Spit or swallow?

I, uh, don't think that actually has anything to do with being gay. :p

What do you look for in a guy?

I think Smunkee's mirror question was an interesting one, would you say it's a lot easier for you to make yourself more attractive than it is for the average straight guy?

I admit I would probably have a feeling of uneasiness if I was to date one.

Why?

Why are my gay male friends so much more understanding of my plight than anyone else in the world? they all seem.....so empathetic.

I'd theorize that having had to go through the hardships of coming out, and seeking and (hopefully) obtaining empathy and understanding during those times of need makes us much more so willing and able to understand and support others in their own times of need.

Plus, it's easier to understand and support a female friend when she's bitching about her boyfriend, for example, when you can tell her "Yeah, I had a boyfriend like that too". Heterosexual guys (usually) don't have experience in relationships with guys. Gay men and (straight) females do, hence why it seems easier for a girl to confide in them about relationship problems.


Also, are you attracted to yourself in the mirror?
Well, depending on your definition of "attracted". I certainly find myself appealing and desirable, yes. Would I date a guy who had my looks? Certainly. I don't spend all my evenings looking at myself in the mirror, falling in love with my image like Narcissus, though.

Spit, for two reasons: one, I really don't care much for the taste. Two, swallowing is actually not a safe sex practice, and is a possible vector of HIV transmission.

Err, if you're already in a position where swallow is an option...?

Sometimes when I find out a celeb that I have a mini-crush on is gay* I get mad at him for a bit (like 10 minutes) so, do you get a little miffed when a celeb crush is straight? or am I just a bitch?

*example.... T.R. Knight

Giving or recieving?

Done and had fun with both, but likes giving better. However, in a relationship, reciprocation is paramount, and so I don't really think of myself in terms of "top" or "bottom", and I would never ask my partner to allow me to do to him something I wouldn't be comfortable with reversed roles.



Spit or swallow?
Spit, for two reasons: one, I really don't care much for the taste. Two, swallowing is actually not a safe sex practice, and is a possible vector of HIV transmission.

Thank you for a clear response :)

A less serious question: do you agree with the statements of Takei in the following video ?

http://www.influks.com/post897.html

I certainly think it's a hilarious, constructive way of showing his derision for the basketball player's unacceptable hateful statements.

But I can't say I "agree", because I'm not much into black men in general, and certainly not those uber-tall giants in basketball teams. I wouldn't have sex with him, not even for the sake of "education" >_>

Odd...

You would think that no virus could survive long enough in the stomach acids to makes its way to the blood stream. Of course...if one had an ulcer...

Ulcer, mouth sores, that kind of thing.

Spit, for two reasons: one, I really don't care much for the taste. Two, swallowing is actually not a safe sex practice, and is a possible vector of HIV transmission.

Odd...You would think that no virus could survive long enough in the stomach acids to makes its way to the blood stream. Of course...if one had a stomach ulcer...

What do you look for in a guy?
Physically: fit and athletic, like me. Not too tall, either, I only measure 5'8" and don't think over 6" would fit in nicely with me. Partial to swimmer's builds. Like blondes, but any hair color can do. Green eyes make me weak in the knees, but provided the glimmer of intelligence is present in a set of sparkling eyes, color is pretty irrelevant.

I like white men, asian men, and latino men best, in no particular order.

Emotionally, I want a man who's strong but compassionate and loving. Tenderness is the most important trait I'm looking for. A person who's outgoing and confident, intelligent and witty, with shared interests with me.

A man who will be looking for a serious, long-term, committed relationship in which exclusivity (read: faithfulness) is paramount.

Yes, I have quite high standards :p

I think Smunkee's mirror question was an interesting one, would you say it's a lot easier for you to make yourself more attractive than it is for the average straight guy?

I wouldn't say it's easier for me to myself more attractive in the mirror, but gay men in general seem to attach more importance to their image, body, clothing, etc. than the average straight man.

In other words: not easier, but we spend more time on it, so it usually makes a difference.

Why?

Well, I would be uncomfortable dating a bisexual guy because I'd always be worrying whether or not he was attracted to females around me. Imagine your boyfriend checking out someone of a different gender than you on the street; I'd find that unnerving.

Probably because if my boyfriend checks out a guy, I know I can compete with that. We're in the same league. The guy he's checking out might be better looking than I am, but we have the same attributes, and what he'd be looking for in that guy I know I possess as well. If he was checking out a female, well... how to compete with that? I sure as hell won't grow boobs or want to wear a miniskirt.

I think if I met a worthwhile bisexual man, I wouldn't stop myself from dating him for that, and would probably get over it in time. But there would be a period of uneasiness nonetheless before that happenened.


Err, if you're already in a position where swallow is an option...?

Oral sex in itself is not a vector of transmission unless one has sores on his genitals, or has brushed/flossed his teeth in a two hour timeframe around the time the act happens.

In other words, you can safely perform a fellatio provided you take the necessary precautions and don't swallow any resulting fluids.


Sometimes when I find out a celeb that I have a mini-crush on is gay* I get mad at him for a bit (like 10 minutes) so, do you get a little miffed when a celeb crush is straight? or am I just a bitch?

*example.... T.R. Knight

Nope, I usually don't have crushes on celebrities anyway. And well, even if one is straight, nothing stops me from daydreaming with him a bit in my head anyway.

So yeah, Josh Hartnett, for example, has been manhandled once or twice, despite his heterosexuality.
Also: apologies for the multiple posts. I know it's technically against forum rules, but I hope any Mod reading this realises it was more convenient to answer each question individually, and that my double/triple posts are not done in an intent to spam. I started putting many questions in a single post to avoid this situation now, though.

Probably because if my boyfriend checks out a guy, I know I can compete with that. We're in the same league. The guy he's checking out might be better looking than I am, but we have the same attributes, and what he'd be looking for in that guy I know I possess as well. If he was checking out a female, well... how to compete with that? I sure as hell won't grow boobs or want to wear a miniskirt.

My husband says something fairly similar about me checking out girls. Well, not about me checking out girls - he seems to rather like that. But he has said that it would be much, much easier for him if a girl ever left him for a man than for another girl because he would feel like he could compete with another guy. Or something like that.

Oral sex in itself is not a vector of transmission unless one has sores on his genitals, or has brushed/flossed his teeth in a two hour timeframe around the time the act happens.

In other words, you can safely perform a fellatio provided you take the necessary precautions and don't swallow any resulting fluids.

I didn't mean position literally, I mean you're giving the guy fellatio and you don't know if he has HIV or not?

If he was checking out a female, well... how to compete with that?

What makes you think you must?

After all, the guy your boyfriend checks out may have a different hair color than you, or a different personality, or a different build... you can't suddenly attain any of those things.

Why is it any different if he checks out a girl?

I didn't mean position literally, I mean you're giving the guy fellatio and you don't know if he has HIV or not?

I don't give fellatios (or have sex)all that often to begin with, but you have to understand that most people who are infected with HIV don't realize they are.

Hence, unsafe sex is a big no-no. I always use proper protection where penetration is involved, and do not swallow fluids. I would even use a condom for fellatio if I had an ulcer, for example.

The only times I had unprotected sex was with my first boyfriend, with whom I was together in an exclusive relationship for three years, and we knew we were both clean. I'd pass tests and ask the same of any new boyfriend with whom I'd stay together long enough to contemplate getting rid of the rubbers before we actually stopped using them.

If a lesbian woman likewise feels comfortable to answer questions specific to female homosexuality, then she would be quite welcome to complement this thread with her presence.

I'd be happy to answer any Lesbo Questions people have.

Full Disclosure: I am not, nor have I ever been, exclusively lesbian. I am currently in a monogamous heterosexual relationship. I have been in monogamous homosexual relationships in the past, but I am not currently involved with a woman.

I didn't mean position literally, I mean you're giving the guy fellatio and you don't know if he has HIV or not?

Unlike an apparent majority of women (from what my straight friends tell me) gay men tend to actually enjoy giving head.

I'd be happy to answer any Lesbo Questions people have.

Full Disclosure: I am not, nor have I ever been, exclusively lesbian. I am currently in a monogamous heterosexual relationship. I have been in monogamous homosexual relationships in the past, but I am not currently involved with a woman.

May I ask why? Is it presently an issue of circumstance and personal preference for this particular partner? Or something else.

Unlike an apparent majority of women (from what my straight friends tell me) gay men tend to actually enjoy giving head.

Actually, I like receiving head much more than giving it, but giving a good blowjob is certainly satisfying in itself for the pleasure it brings to your partner. Maybe we tend to like doing it more because we know how good that feels, and reciprocation is important.

Personally, I find nothing beats a good old-fashioned sixty-nine. The best of both worlds, and both guys gets their fun at the same time.

Actually, I like receiving head much more than giving it, but giving a good blowjob is certainly satisfying in itself for the pleasure it brings to your partner. Maybe we tend to like doing it more because we know how good that feels, and reciprocation is important.

Personally, I find nothing beats a good old-fashioned sixty-nine. The best of both worlds, and both guys gets their fun at the same time.

I really don't care for 69s, I find it distracts from my technique.

I'd be happy to answer any Lesbo Questions people have.

Full Disclosure: I am not, nor have I ever been, exclusively lesbian. I am currently in a monogamous heterosexual relationship. I have been in monogamous homosexual relationships in the past, but I am not currently involved with a woman.First you tell that you write erotic stories and now you're a lesbian too?:eek:

I really don't care for 69s, I find it distracts from my technique.

:p also, I would rather my partner be focused on......recieving, rather than be distracted.

First you tell that you write erotic stories and now you're a lesbian too?:eek:
?! You must have me confused with somebody. I don't write erotic stories, though I do read them from time to time.

?! You must have me confused with somebody. I don't write erotic stories, though I do read them from time to time.True, that was Cabra. :/

You could write them though.:p

True, that was Cabra. :/

You could write them though.:p

I'd be far too clinical. My partner still chuckles at the way that I use correct terminology for...um..."sensual" body parts, even during sensual moments.

OK, here's what confuses me: why do people say that gay men inherently have good dress sense?

Gay men are much more likely to wear pink, for example. Pink is an awful colour.

Unlike an apparent majority of women (from what my straight friends tell me) gay men tend to actually enjoy giving head.

Speaking as a mostly straight woman, I can tell you that I enjoy it, as do most of my friends. I don't think any of us get enjoyment out of the act itself, really, but we enjoy it because he does. And the fact that he's really enjoying it can sometimes get me turned on more quickly than most foreplay.


I really don't care for 69s, I find it distracts from my technique.

There's too much split attention there. If I start focusing on what I'm getting, I tend to neglect what I'm doing for him. And if I focus on him, it doesn't much matter what he's doing. Maybe that's just me, though.

I'd be far too clinical. My partner still chuckles at the way that I use correct terminology for...um..."sensual" body parts, even during sensual moments.

That's a rather comedic mental image. I can imagine the dialog.

OK, here's what confuses me: why do people say that gay men inherently have good dress sense?

Gay men are much more likely to wear pink, for example. Pink is an awful colour.

Straight guys have been conditioned to not really care about their appearance. It's not much of a competition.

I really don't care for 69s, I find it distracts from my technique.

I can think of worse fates to suffer from than "distraction" in such moments.

If it really annoys you, try to turn tables on your partner and "distract" him/her in turn. This could do for some very mutually satisfying "competitions". :D

I'd be far too clinical. My partner still chuckles at the way that I use correct terminology for...um..."sensual" body parts, even during sensual moments.
Hehe, that's fun.:p

Straight guys have been conditioned to not really care about their appearance. It's not much of a competition.

I was only making a joke. I know that taste is subjective. I just thought it was interesting that for all the caring about appearance, the results (in some cases) look terrible from my point of view.

OK, here's what confuses me: why do people say that gay men inherently have good dress sense?

Gay men are much more likely to wear pink, for example. Pink is an awful colour.

Pink is not an awful color: it's just a tricky one to use with good taste, much like lavender or fuschia. Society has, however, associated pink with women and feminity, and so straight men tend not to wear "girly" colors for fear of being labeled gay or effeminate.

Gay men have no such limitations. We can wear whatever we want, because... let's face it, what's the worse that could happen, be labeled gay? xD Gay men take more liberties with their dress because they're less constrained by socially accepted notions of masculinity and feminity.

Some people find this greater liberty allows better originality and expression through the way one dresses, and label it "better dress sense". You seem to lean more towards conservative wears, so to you, what others find original and/or more avant-gardiste looks funny or awful.

To each his own, and who I am to discuss tastes? Although now you've made me curious to see what you have in your wardrobe... ;)

I've got another...kind of awkward, question. Is receiving actually enjoyable, or is it seen more as 'taking one for the team'?

I've got another...kind of awkward, question. Is recieving actually enjoyable, or is it seen more as 'taking one for the team'?

Depending on who's doing you it can be quite good, done correctly it stimulates your prostate gland, which can drive you to orgasm without ever touching your dick.

Pregnancy is a very important aspect of heterosexuality. Both the risk of accidental pregnancy and the ability to produce kids of your own when you settle down. How do you feel about the fact that your sexuality can't produce that result, can't pass on your genes to a new generation?

Pink is not an awful color: it's just a tricky one to use with good taste, much like lavender or fuschia. Society has, however, associated pink with women and feminity, and so straight men tend not to wear "girly" colors for fear of being labeled gay or effeminate.
To be serious for a moment, I can understand what you're saying, but in my case I genuinely do find the colour inherently unpleasant. I think a factor might be its similarity to flesh tones (that's just a theory). Actually, I think that nowadays it's not that uncommon for straight men to wear pale pink shirts.

To each his own, and who I am to discuss tastes?
Taste is subjective of course.

It does raise the issue of what do I like in clothes - I tend to hate a lot of what I see in clothes shops, but I don't really think enough about what I would like.

Pregnancy is a very important aspect of heterosexuality. Both the risk of accidental pregnancy and the ability to produce kids of your own when you settle down. How do you feel about the fact that your sexuality can't produce that result, can't pass on your genes to a new generation?
For me, the absolute best bonus of gay sex is that nobody can get preggers. Frankly, the only downside to my current (hetero) sex life is that I have to stay on the pill and take extra precautions to avoid pregnancy.

Pregnancy is a very important aspect of heterosexuality. Both the risk of accidental pregnancy and the ability to produce kids of your own when you settle down. How do you feel about the fact that your sexuality can't produce that result, can't pass on your genes to a new generation?

We're perfectly capable of producing kids, we just don't have 'em by accident.

I've got another...kind of awkward, question. Is receiving actually enjoyable, or is it seen more as 'taking one for the team'?

It depends on personal preference, I know some gay men who don't enjoy it. And it also depends on how it's done and who does it, too.

Personally, with my first boyfriend, the one with whom I was with for three years, I found it quite enjoyable a good number of times. But that was on the following conditions: first, actual lube had to be used (no, spit =/= lube). Second, I found I enjoyed it much more if I was on top and sitting on my partner's member, so I could control the speed of entry and rythm myself and avoid getting hurt because he had too much enthusiasm or slipped or anything. And lastly, well, I wouldn't recommend having this particular sex practice with someone who you don't have the utmost trust in, and you really have to want to try it for yourself, not be pressured into doing it to please your partner. If you do it only to please the other, of course you'll see it as "taking one for the team".

So yeah, for me it was enjoyable, but it's not something we did very often, and I really had to be in the mood. More of a way to spice things up and do a little something special. So even though I like giving more than receiving, when I did receive I had lots of fun as well.

Remember, guys, that we all have a prostate, and that the prostate is your friend. A little prostate stimulation goes a long way into making a night a memorable experience, and I know increasing numbers of straight men are willing to explore that side of sexuality by letting their girlfriend stimulate them manually during a blowjob, for oral sex.

We're perfectly capable of producing kids, we just don't have 'em by accident.
So you would do someone of the opposite gender if you wanted kids? Or make a deal with someone else then your partner to use artificial insemination and hand the kid over to you when it's old enough to do without breast feeding?

Pregnancy is a very important aspect of heterosexuality. Both the risk of accidental pregnancy and the ability to produce kids of your own when you settle down. How do you feel about the fact that your sexuality can't produce that result, can't pass on your genes to a new generation?

I'm very happy that accidental pregnancies are not something I have to worry about.

You have to remember that despite the fact that my sexuality with my partner does not produce children, it does not mean that we cannot pass our genes to a newer generation. I've considered being a sperm donor before, and I really wanted a biological child all I'd need was a woman willing to bear the child for me. Hypothetically, a partner and me could decide to have two children, each being genetically the child of one of us.

I don't attach that much importance to genetics in parenting, though, and would probably resort to adoption first, seeing how I see no need to bring more kids in a world that's already overpopulated and that has too many orphaned children already.

So you would do someone of the opposite gender if you wanted kids? Or make a deal with someone else then your partner to use artificial insemination and hand the kid over to you when it's old enough to do without breast feeding?

Honestly given the current population of this mudball, I'd adopt.

Depending on who's doing you it can be quite good, done correctly it stimulates your prostate gland, which can drive you to orgasm without ever touching your dick.

Is that why there are straight guys who are into pegging? I always wondered what the biological reason might be.

Is that why there are straight guys who are into pegging? I always wondered what the biological reason might be.

I'd assume so, you can reach it yourself, it's a couple inches inside towards the front.

What would you like to say to Theodosis X - our new member convinced that the gayz are all disgusting childraping monsters ? How do you deal with people like that in real life ?

Forgive my ignorance, but what exactly is "pegging"?

Having the girl use a strap-on dildo to penetrate the anus.

Forgive my ignorance, but what exactly is "pegging"?

Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pegging_%28sexual_practice%29) is your friend. ;)

Just more confirmation of an old suspicion of mine regarding straight guys' supposed aversion to receiving anal sex....

Is that why there are straight guys who are into pegging? I always wondered what the biological reason might be.

Forgive my ignorance, but what exactly is "pegging"?

What would you like to say to Theodosis X - our new member convinced that the gayz are all disgusting childraping monsters ? How do you deal with people like that in real life ?

In real life, people are much more careful with what they say. On the single occasion where I was confronted by a group of 5-6 homophobic bigots, I proceeded to verbally abuse them and their intellect, until they were either shamed into silence by their disrespectful behaviour, or taken aback at seeing the fag they were jeering at actually standing up and staring at them in the eye without any hint of backing down from confrontation.

It's easy to be hateful on an anonymous internet forum. It's quite something else to have to face the consequences of your hate speech. Bullies and bigots are cowards at heart.

You'll all notice that despite my offer, Theodosis has not taken up my offer to answer his questions. If you would like, invite him to this thread. If he comes, I'll be happy to provide him with accurate information regarding sexual diversity. If he does not want reality to interfere with his preconceived ideas, well, I'm afraid that he'll have to be hit by reality in the face the day he says those things in real life and a gay person stands up to tell him that his offensive, disrespectful statements are unacceptable.

Having the girl use a strap-on dildo to penetrate the anus.

Thank you for the enlightenment. I actually have a female friend who has done so on at least a couple of occasions with a former boyfriend. :p

Spit, for two reasons: one, I really don't care much for the taste. Two, swallowing is actually not a safe sex practice, and is a possible vector of HIV transmission.

Except in cases where you know the other participant doesnt have any STDs, obviously.

I've a joint question to Bottle and Skaladora.

I used to have a gay boss and we both liked clubbing so there were times when I'd go to gay nightclubs with him and his friends and I have to say I always felt quite safe in that it simply took a shake of the head or a response along the lines of 'I'm not gay' for me to be left alone.

However, and this may be beyond you because of the country, but I was at a club in Tokyo and a strange thing happened.

Three girls danced in a triangle pointing at me the entire night.

At first, especially being on a pill, I was a little perturbed but I decided that they were simply pointing me out as straight. They gave no indication that I might speak to them, if not the entire opposite - it's not that they were hostile, it's that their faces were blank, kind of like those 60's trippy videos - or the chewing gum girl in Mars Attack

Anyway, I asked my boss and he had no idea, he asked some others and they had no idea either.

Do you - my real question was whether they were doing me a kind favour or whether they were marking me out as someone who didn't belong.

Have you ever heard or encountered this before?

EDIT: A wider question might be: how much to gay and lesbian cultures mix, is there an overlap of common culture or are they considered separate to some degree though fighting for the same rights, which therefore necessitates coming together to organise that fight jointly.

Is this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDXCFUAhqW0 The sort of gay assimilation that homophobes fear? ;)

I have been in monogamous homosexual relationships in the past, but I am not currently involved with a woman.

I would like to see pics for verification.

skaladora, what should i do when i have a heterosexual female to shag but then an opportunity to shag a bisexual male arises and i'm much more aroused by the bisexual male. i also have an aversion to intimacy of any kind. answer away!...

skaladora, what should i do when i have a heterosexual female to shag but then an opportunity to shag a bisexual male arises and i'm much more aroused by the bisexual male. i also have an aversion to intimacy of any kind. answer away!...

Pick me! I mean the bisexual guy!

<.<
>.>

http://209.85.12.227/11914/116/emo/runaway.gif

Q: Why do some Americans think they are of the homosexual/lesbian orientation?

Q: Why do some Americans think they are of the homosexual/lesbian orientation?

Clearly they're not Americans.

They're probably Canadian immigrants pretending to be American.

Clearly they're not Americans.

They're probably Canadian immigrants pretending to be American.

We would never let such people into America.

We would never let such people into America.

Homo-terrorism is a sneaky industry, they dress in jeans and checked short-sleeve shirts while singing Bon Jovi to get through, at least they used to, they may have changed tactics recently.

Pick me! I mean the bisexual guy!

<.<
>.>

http://209.85.12.227/11914/116/emo/runaway.gif

*shags*

I have a question. Earlier, you said that you rarely had sex. I've heard that homosexuals (both male and female) have much less of a sex drive than heterosexuals. Is this true overall, or have you found many exemptions from this? (Both you and Bottle can answer this, I bet.)

Just a note, I'm heterosexual and come from a Christian family, but at one time I was gay or bisexual for a time when I was just hitting puberty. (Mostly, it was just me becoming very attracted to my friend, although not sexually. He does have a great body, though. Eventually, I got over it and now I'm straight like an arrow.) I'm also wondering if this is normal, but I've never seen any heterosexual male ever admit something like that.

Hm, have a question myself, but you may or may not be able to answer it. I'm from a fairly sexually open background, but I consider myself straight in that I simply don't find other guys attractive while girls are very much so.

So... what's with the 'gaydar'? I've had a few admitted bisexual guys attracted to me, but while not interested I've always kind of wondered why. I'm not that attractive to females, but for some reason I've been fending off this kind of relationship more often than I'd like.

Is there some sort of signal I might be giving off that is counter to my actual orientation, or is it just a product of not being homophobic (I.E. I have no problem with hanging out with people of other orientations)?

<snip>

Just a note, I'm heterosexual and come from a Christian family, but at one time I was gay or bisexual for a time when I was just hitting puberty. (Mostly, it was just me becoming very attracted to my friend, although not sexually. He does have a great body, though. Eventually, I got over it and now I'm straight like an arrow.) I'm also wondering if this is normal, but I've never seen any heterosexual male ever admit something like that.

I am a heterosexual male, and I'd admit to what you said. From self-analyzing myself I'd think it's a normal male response to "check out the competition", and the reason why you'd become (nonsexually) attracted to your friend is that you may have perceived him to be your "competition".

This happens to me too, certain guys "stand out" but in a different way from the way girls* do. There is no sexual attraction (ie: no "tingly") but just increased attention. However, I find that the guys that stand out are the ones with noticeable feminine facial characteristics, so I'd attribute it to my hetero-sense being overactive.

*Note to the females of NSG, at my age it is appropriate to refer to females of my age as "girls", so to women out there, just so you know.

how long before i can claim my money back if skaladora does not answer my questions? i'm estimating at least $2 have ellapsed so far.

I've been following along with this thread and just had to put my two cents in. So much hate is based on misunderstanding and I think it's really great that so many straight people are popping on here and asking honest questions. There have been a few threads on the forums that have been malicious and just really mean in general so this is nice to see. Kudos to you guys.

I got a few questions.

1. What do gay male think of Metrosexuals? Do you like them, hate them, or indifference?

2. Why do homophobes think that homosexuals are like this,

http://msnbcmedia4.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/050626/050626_gaypride_hmed4p.hmedium.jpg

and lesbians are like this?

http://www.mulletjunky.com/webimages/dyke.jpg

3. What do you think of right wing Christians who say that all lesbians and homosexuals are going to Hell, how do you usually respond to that when someone says that?

I'm sure I have more questions, but that's all I can think of for now.

Best. Mullet. Evar.

Question: Didn't we have a ban on "ask a... questions" threads? Or maybe that was a long time ago that I remember that.

Question: Didn't we have a ban on "ask a... questions" threads? Or maybe that was a long time ago that I remember that.

Party pooper or brown noser? (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=540344) :p

Which group of people to you find you connect the most with:

Gay Men
Gay Women
Bisexuals (M)
Bisexuals (F)
Straight Women
Straight Men
Asexuals (M)
Asexuals (F)
Other (please specify)

How important do you think sexual orientation is in describing a person? Is it a lifestyle or part of one?

Do you see all people of one sexual category as having similar tastes? Does gender not mean that much to you in a friend? Do you or did you at one point see people of a different orientation as all liking the same thing (subconsciously maybe).

Roughly how often do you think about sex?

How do you treat/what do you think of people who are discriminated against for things like bestiality, incest and hentai? Have you met any homosexuals who have been abused due to their sexuality, but have a problem with other "frowned upon" sexual practices (consensual ones)?

I've a joint question to Bottle and Skaladora.

I used to have a gay boss and we both liked clubbing so there were times when I'd go to gay nightclubs with him and his friends and I have to say I always felt quite safe in that it simply took a shake of the head or a response along the lines of 'I'm not gay' for me to be left alone.

However, and this may be beyond you because of the country, but I was at a club in Tokyo and a strange thing happened.

Three girls danced in a triangle pointing at me the entire night.

At first, especially being on a pill, I was a little perturbed but I decided that they were simply pointing me out as straight. They gave no indication that I might speak to them, if not the entire opposite - it's not that they were hostile, it's that their faces were blank, kind of like those 60's trippy videos - or the chewing gum girl in Mars Attack

Anyway, I asked my boss and he had no idea, he asked some others and they had no idea either.

Do you - my real question was whether they were doing me a kind favour or whether they were marking me out as someone who didn't belong.

Have you ever heard or encountered this before?

No clue. I'm not much of a clubber, though, so while I've been to a few gay clubs I've never really become fluent in lingo and signals used in the club scene.


EDIT: A wider question might be: how much to gay and lesbian cultures mix, is there an overlap of common culture or are they considered separate to some degree though fighting for the same rights, which therefore necessitates coming together to organise that fight jointly.
There's a lot of overlap, in my experience, but there's also a lot of exclusive territory. Honestly, it's pretty much just like how heterosexuals work: most of the time, men and women share space and share causes, but there's also some "man" spaces and some "woman" spaces. I find it just as annoying when gay people do this as I do when straight people do it. I'm all for giving people their space, but divisions based on gender are a pile of crap (IMO).

I have a question. Earlier, you said that you rarely had sex. I've heard that homosexuals (both male and female) have much less of a sex drive than heterosexuals. Is this true overall, or have you found many exemptions from this? (Both you and Bottle can answer this, I bet.)

Obviously I've never been anybody else, so I don't personally know what kind of sex drive other people feel. But if what friends and lovers tell me is true, then I'd say my sex drive is at least average, if not somewhat high. I've never seen any evidence that homosexuality lowers (or raises) one's sex drive.


Just a note, I'm heterosexual and come from a Christian family, but at one time I was gay or bisexual for a time when I was just hitting puberty. (Mostly, it was just me becoming very attracted to my friend, although not sexually. He does have a great body, though. Eventually, I got over it and now I'm straight like an arrow.) I'm also wondering if this is normal, but I've never seen any heterosexual male ever admit something like that.
It's more common than you might think...

2. Why do homophobes think that homosexuals are like this,

http://msnbcmedia4.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/050626/050626_gaypride_hmed4p.hmedium.jpg

and lesbians are like this?

http://www.mulletjunky.com/webimages/dyke.jpg

Because homophobia is really just the product of sexism.

Why is male homosexuality so terrifying to homophobes? Because gender roles assign very specific roles based on the sex of the individual (man = boss being the most important one). But if a male enters into a relationship with another male, then that means one male must be accepting the "woman" role! This means that maybe our roles in life aren't set by our genitals! TERROR!!!

If you talk to real homophobes for a bit, you usually find that they're men who have thought a great deal about how HORRIBLE it would be to be anally penetrated. Being penetrated (being "the catcher") is viewed as degrading and dehumanizing and horrid.

The sexist view does not have any room for egalitarian relationships. One person is the boss, one person the servant, and the way you know which is which is that masculine = boss and feminine = servant and masculine penetrates feminine. You hear this all the time when homophobes talk about gay men. They immediately make jokes about who is the "man" and who is the "woman" in the relationship (because it is unthinkable that both parties would be equal, of course). They really believe that one party must always be the "bottom" and one always the "top," because that's how it works in the sexist's house.

What's threatening about homosexuals is that they don't conform to The Rules. Most homophobes are really insecure about sex and relationships, and they cling to The Rules like a life preserver.

Personally, I think it's funny when a homophobe tries to insult me by telling me I'm a "mannish" dyke or whatever. I don't think being a man is a bad thing, so why would being "mannish" be a bad thing?


3. What do you think of right wing Christians who say that all lesbians and homosexuals are going to Hell, how do you usually respond to that when someone says that?

Depends on my mood. Most of the time I just give them a (sincere) pitying look and go along my way.

It's more common than you might think...

Indeed. To (semi-)quote from Buffy the vampire slayer:

"I am a teenager. Linoleum makes me want to have sex"

Lots of things will attract you, including the same sex. Some more than others of course, but hey - that is diversity for you.

Question: Didn't we have a ban on "ask a... questions" threads? Or maybe that was a long time ago that I remember that.

I'm pretty sure we did.

Skaladora- long time no see.
Why do gay men seem more hung up (forgive pun) on penis length than women? Most gals I talk to figure average length and more width is better than a footlong. But the gay guys I've talked to are much more concerned about length.

Skaladora- long time no see.
Why do gay men seem more hung up (forgive pun) on penis length than women? Most gals I talk to figure average length and more width is better than a footlong. But the gay guys I've talked to are much more concerned about length.

If I had to hazard a guess I'd say it's probably the male competitive nature.

If I had to hazard a guess I'd say it's probably the male competitive nature.
If that were the case you'd want a lover with a smaller dick, not a bigger one.

If that were the case you'd want a lover with a smaller dick, not a bigger one.

Oh you should hear a bunch of size queens exchanging fish stories. Most of which aren't anatomically possible I'm fairly certain.

Skaladora- long time no see.
Why do gay men seem more hung up (forgive pun) on penis length than women? Most gals I talk to figure average length and more width is better than a footlong. But the gay guys I've talked to are much more concerned about length.
In my experience, men generally are more concerned about penis size than women. Perhaps hetero men receive some kind of mellowing influence from their female partners, since most hetero women are honestly not that concerned about size at all.

In my experience, men generally are more concerned about penis size than women. Perhaps hetero men receive some kind of mellowing influence from their female partners, since most hetero women are honestly not that concerned about size at all.One gay friend suggested it was because of the rather finite nature of vaginal length, whereas anal penetration would allow more length. My experiences with anal sex don't support this.

One gay friend suggested it was because of the rather finite nature of vaginal length, whereas anal penetration would allow more length. My experiences with anal sex don't support this.

Too long would seem to be awkward to me, width, now that can be nice, to an extent.

You ought read gay porn sometime though, the anatomical descriptions are beyond belief.

Too long would seem to be awkward to me, width, now that can be nice, to an extent.

You ought read gay porn sometime though, the anatomical descriptions are beyond belief.
Hetero porn is bad enough, blerg. Even in the most vanilla of porn they will often feel the need to describe the massive instruments or body parts being shoved into a vagina, which, for the record, does NOT sound like fun.

Ska, how do you feel about people like Larry Craig who vote against any sort of civil rights for homosexuals despite being quite obviously homosexual themselves? In other words, how do you feel about people who deny their true sexuality?

Why do some people think anyone would need to ask questions about the nature of homosexuality? Can't interested parties figure out the basics on their own?

You'd think, but a lot of folks have heard a lot of misinformation, and many are in areas where the internet is the only place to find answers.

Why do some people think anyone would need to ask questions about the nature of homosexuality? Can't interested parties figure out the basics on their own?

The basics, sure, but we're getting a personal aspect here, the human factor that makes the information so much more valid and encompassing. I find it extremely helpful to get this sort of perspective.

If your parents were both gay then is it still called a coming-out when you have to confess you’re heterosexual?

Why do some people think anyone would need to ask questions about the nature of homosexuality? Can't interested parties figure out the basics on their own?

Ska, how do you feel about people like Larry Craig who vote against any sort of civil rights for homosexuals despite being quite obviously homosexual themselves? In other words, how do you feel about people who deny their true sexuality?

I think it's kind of pathetic. I'm torn between sad that they're so closeted and their apparent upbringing and society makes them so shamed, and incredibly pissed that they're causing the same damn thing to another generation. Leaning more towards pissed. Bastards. Craig is a cock jockey, everyone knows it but him apparently, just like good old Father Ted.

Hetero porn is bad enough, blerg. Even in the most vanilla of porn they will often feel the need to describe the massive instruments or body parts being shoved into a vagina, which, for the record, does NOT sound like fun. Fortunately the good authors of gay fiction tend to gloss over the sex or mention it rather sparingly than make it sound like a clinical police description of everyone's bits.

The basics, sure, but we're getting a personal aspect here, the human factor that makes the information so much more valid and encompassing. I find it extremely helpful to get this sort of perspective.
What perspective? Identifying as a homosexual doesn't make someone a different species, it doesn't change the way their brain is wired, and it doesn't merit creating annoying "look-at-me" threads digging for questions and answering them with ridiculous stereotypes and broad generalizations.
This is the 21st goddamn century, why can't people move on from the binary system imagined by a bunch of mildly deranged Victorian white males?

What perspective? Identifying as a homosexual doesn't make someone a different species, it doesn't change the way their brain is wired, and it doesn't merit creating annoying "look-at-me" threads digging for questions and answering them with ridiculous stereotypes and broad generalizations.
This is the 21st goddamn century, why can't people move on from the binary system imagined by a bunch of mildly deranged Victorian white males?

Because there's no shortage of mildly or wildly deranged people.

What perspective? Identifying as a homosexual doesn't make someone a different species, it doesn't change the way their brain is wired, and it doesn't merit creating annoying "look-at-me" threads digging for questions and answering them with ridiculous stereotypes and broad generalizations.
This is the 21st goddamn century, why can't people move on from the binary system imagined by a bunch of mildly deranged Victorian white males?

The perspective gained from experiences as a certain person with certain traits in certain environments. Yes, we're all unique, but lots of us tend to treat whole blocks of people who have a certain trait as the same.

Hell, even if that wasn't true perspective would still be valuable from a personal experience standpoint.

I think it's kind of pathetic. I'm torn between sad that they're so closeted and their apparent upbringing and society makes them so shamed, and incredibly pissed that they're causing the same damn thing to another generation. Leaning more towards pissed. Bastards. Craig is a cock jockey, everyone knows it but him apparently, just like good old Father Ted.

It's certainly my point of view as well, the pissed part. Why can't people just accept what they are?

What I hate about gay people is their absolute gayitical correctness.

They have gay bars, gay movies, gay parades, gay music and still they scream about oppression.

We don’t have hetero bars, hetero movies, hetero parades or hetero music.

What’s your position about this one?

We don’t have hetero bars, hetero movies, hetero parades or hetero music.

We don't? Since when?

It's certainly my point of view as well, the pissed part. Why can't people just accept what they are?
Because it's not a natural definition? Humans (like all other animal species) are naturally interested in both genders, but we've built so much cultural baggage into the idea that someone must like either penises or vaginas that we get crazy old congressmen lurking around public restrooms and exaggerated displays of machismo or femininity that are unhealthy and unrealistic.

What I hate about gay people is their absolute gayitical correctness.

They have gay bars, gay movies, gay parades, gay music and still they scream about oppression.
Gay bars are as much an invention of heterosexuals who want to keep all "them damn queers" away from them as they are of the homosexual community.
Seriously, could you imagine what would happen if a man wandered into any random bar and started hitting on random guys? He'd be lucky to see sunrise the next morning.

Because it's not a natural definition? Humans (like all other animal species) are naturally interested in both genders, but we've built so much cultural baggage into the idea that someone must like either penises or vaginas that we get crazy old congressmen lurking around public restrooms and exaggerated displays of machismo or femininity that are unhealthy and unrealistic.
Ah, I see. You're one of those that professes a natural bisexuality orientation.

Sorry, but life doesn't actually work that way.

We don’t have hetero bars, hetero movies, hetero parades or hetero music.

I don't know where you live, but in the USA most bars, movies, parades, and music albums are run/produced by heterosexuals, and are aimed either primarily or exclusively at heterosexual customers.

Ah, I see. You're one of those that professes a natural bisexuality orientation.

Sorry, but life doesn't actually work that way.

And by that I meant that you profess a belief that everyone starts out bisexual.

Ah, I see. You're one of those that professes a natural bisexuality orientation.

Sorry, but life doesn't actually work that way.
How about somebody who believes that binary gender is, itself, a pile of bunk, and therefore "homosexuality" and "heterosexuality" are likewise bunk?

;)

Yes, I'm in a difficult mood today.

And by that I meant that you profess a belief that everyone starts out bisexual.
Start out and finish as. Why can't you just accept who you are?

I don't know where you live, but in the USA most bars, movies, parades, and music albums are run/produced by heterosexuals, and are aimed either primarily or exclusively at heterosexual customers.

They really kick gay people outside?

And you have Hetero Parades?

And do you call Liberace heterosexual? Consider you Brad Pitt as hetero?

They really kick gay people outside?

In many places, they don't just make homosexuals leave. They verbally and even physically assault homosexuals.

It's kind of a bummer that this stuff still happens, but it does. :(


And you have Hetero Parades?

Yes. They don't usually use the "Hetero Pride" label, though. More often they use misleading and insulting terms like "Pro-family" parades, as if homosexuals cannot have families or families cannot include homosexuals.


And do you call Liberace heterosexual? Consider you Brad Pitt as hetero?
I only worry about somebody else's sexual orientation if they choose to make it my business. Unfortunately for me, Brad Pitt has never made his sexuality my business.

They really kick gay people outside?

If they dare to flirt ? Definately. They might get kicked out even if they don't. In a few cases the kicking does not stop at "out".

I only worry about somebody else's sexual orientation if they choose to make it my business. Unfortunately for me, Brad Pitt has never made his sexuality my business.

Hehehe. Win.

If they dare to flirt ? Definately. They might get kicked out even if they don't. In a few cases the kicking does not stop at "out".

Find a heterosexual pair. Ask the man to kiss his girl inside a gay bar and watch what will happen. :)

In many places, they don't just make homosexuals leave. They verbally and even physically assault homosexuals.

It's kind of a bummer that this stuff still happens, but it does. :(
It's a natural consequence of making people terrified of their own bodies and natural longings. Men are lead to believe that there is this solid line between "Gay" and "Straight", and that (if they don't watch themselves) they might end up falling across it and becoming an entirely different species.

Find a heterosexual pair. Ask the man to kiss his girl inside a gay bar and watch what will happen. :)

I did exactly that. We got offered a beer "for being a cute couple".

Find a heterosexual pair. Ask the man to kiss his girl inside a gay bar and watch what will happen. :)
I've kissed a (hetero) date in a gay bar before. Nobody cared.

I did exactly that. We got offered a beer "for being a cute couple".


I did it too. They did nothing to me or her but ran away. :)

Originally Posted by Agerias
I have a question. Earlier, you said that you rarely had sex. I've heard that homosexuals (both male and female) have much less of a sex drive than heterosexuals. Is this true overall, or have you found many exemptions from this? (Both you and Bottle can answer this, I bet.)

Eh? Gays are in general sluts. I mean promiscuous.

I really don't care for 69s, I find it distracts from my technique.I know what you mean, though that particular angle makes things easier.

Is that why there are straight guys who are into pegging? I always wondered what the biological reason might be.Yes, as well as any psychological reasons.

The TV/movie representation of a gay male is basically a girly personality in a male body. Now my question, how true is that representation? Ie: Are gay men essentially female minds in male bodies?No, those are transsexuals.

I have a question. Earlier, you said that you rarely had sex. I've heard that homosexuals (both male and female) have much less of a sex drive than heterosexuals. Is this true overall, or have you found many exemptions from this? (Both you and Bottle can answer this, I bet.)In my experience, gay men have lots of sex.

Ska, good answers so far. :)

Just promise you won't go Fass on us and get deleted. ;)

I guess I could ask some questions... (not that I can think of many)

How easy was it for you in high school to deal with your sexuality? I know in mine they did have a GLBTG, so the ones in my high school had a support network. Did your school have it, and if so, did it help? If not, do you wish it did and would it have made a difference?

How do you feel about girls being attracted to gay guys?

Since my thread got "temporarily" closed, I'll throw down in yours for a while.

As a gay man, how do you feel about slash fiction, yaoi, shonen-ai, and all the other various forms of male on male media produced and consumed mostly by women. Do they turn you on? do you feel insulted by the stereotypes they often present?

Gay bars are as much an invention of heterosexuals who want to keep all "them damn queers" away from them as they are of the homosexual community.
Seriously, could you imagine what would happen if a man wandered into any random bar and started hitting on random guys? He'd be lucky to see sunrise the next morning.

Isn't that what happened to Matthew Shepard?

Hm, have a question myself, but you may or may not be able to answer it. I'm from a fairly sexually open background, but I consider myself straight in that I simply don't find other guys attractive while girls are very much so.

So... what's with the 'gaydar'? I've had a few admitted bisexual guys attracted to me, but while not interested I've always kind of wondered why. I'm not that attractive to females, but for some reason I've been fending off this kind of relationship more often than I'd like.

Is there some sort of signal I might be giving off that is counter to my actual orientation, or is it just a product of not being homophobic (I.E. I have no problem with hanging out with people of other orientations)?

I am pretty much exactly the same and i have wondered about that myself and would be interested in seeing an answer to this.

Since my thread got "temporarily" closed, I'll throw down in yours for a while.

As a gay man, how do you feel about slash fiction, yaoi, shonen-ai, and all the other various forms of male on male media produced and consumed mostly by women. Do they turn you on? do you feel insulted by the stereotypes they often present?

yama nashi, ochi nashi, imi nashi, a pretty good description of yoai, it's brief, boring, and pointless. Slash fiction depends on the author, though from my limited exposure it varies between tolerable and horrifying. Shonen-ai I have no experience with.

Hm, have a question myself, but you may or may not be able to answer it. I'm from a fairly sexually open background, but I consider myself straight in that I simply don't find other guys attractive while girls are very much so.

So... what's with the 'gaydar'? I've had a few admitted bisexual guys attracted to me, but while not interested I've always kind of wondered why. I'm not that attractive to females, but for some reason I've been fending off this kind of relationship more often than I'd like.

Is there some sort of signal I might be giving off that is counter to my actual orientation, or is it just a product of not being homophobic (I.E. I have no problem with hanging out with people of other orientations)?

Huh, missed that question. If gaydar exists I wasn't born equipped with it, most guys I find hot are straight. :headbang: In general gay guys tend to be pretty shallow, atleast the younger ones, so if they think you're hot, flirt with more women, you're probably hot.

Find a heterosexual pair. Ask the man to kiss his girl inside a gay bar and watch what will happen. :)

I've kissed a guy in a gay bar. In fact, my first boyfriend insisted on it when we first went to one. He wanted to make it absolutely clear that he was off-the-market and with a girl. A few guys jokingly asked, "Is that your man?" and then when I answered, said, "Damn!" and that was it.

I've been to gay bars with gay friends, straight friends, and straight partners. I've never seen any problems. In fact, my group of friends often has more fun at gay bars.

Eh? Gays are in general sluts. I mean promiscuous.

Correction, men are in general sluts.

Correction, men are in general sluts.

That sounds about right.

I'm back, and will try to answer the questions asked to me in the last 4 pages.

EDIT: A wider question might be: how much to gay and lesbian cultures mix, is there an overlap of common culture or are they considered separate to some degree though fighting for the same rights, which therefore necessitates coming together to organise that fight jointly.
As far as I can see, gays and lesbians have some pretty different interests, meeting grounds, and behavior. I believe we stand together because of the common cause more than because we're really that much alike "culturally". We've been victimized together because we share the same sort of difference, but at the same time we are different from each other as a group.

It's kind of why the gay rights movement encompasses transgendered people, for example. As a gay man, I have little in common with a transgender person, save for the kind of prejudice we might face. But the movement as a whole made itself inclusive.

skaladora, what should i do when i have a heterosexual female to shag but then an opportunity to shag a bisexual male arises and i'm much more aroused by the bisexual male. i also have an aversion to intimacy of any kind. answer away!...

Go with your heart and shag who you really feel like shagging most.


I do not know if this was answered, I did try to read everything but I may have forgotten some replies.

The TV/movie representation of a gay male is basically a girly personality in a male body. Now my question, how true is that representation? Ie: Are gay men essentially female minds in male bodies?

Note: the above may or may not cause controversy, but I intended it to be an honest question.
Absolutely not, and this is in fact a very good question that I get asked often. The "girly personality in a male body", while it of course exists, is not representative of gay men as a whole. It's mistaken as such because those guys are those most visibly associated with homosexuality. In other words, girlish men are often immediately labeled gay (which might be a mistake, btw, seeing as there are plenty of girlish straight men), while the vast majority of gays who do not fit this "girly" stereotype aren't labeled as such.

You might be sitting in a bus , and be surrounded by gay men without knowing it, simply because those gay men do not fit the visible feminised stereotype.

I know I personally have had a lot of awkward moments with the ladies, having to tell them I didn't swing their way. Likewise, I've often had eyebrows shot up in surprise when people learned I was attracted to guys. And needless to say, I consider myself male through and through, and that's exactly how I like it. And incidentally, how I like my men.

I have a question. Earlier, you said that you rarely had sex. I've heard that homosexuals (both male and female) have much less of a sex drive than heterosexuals. Is this true overall, or have you found many exemptions from this? (Both you and Bottle can answer this, I bet.)

I've never found this, and if anything, the gay men and lesbians I know tend to have more of a sex drive than the average of my straight friends.

I know I certainly have a very active libido. I just don't have sex often because I'm not into one-night stands, casual relationships, or fuck-friends. In other words, I'm staying put sexually unless I have a lover, a boyfriend with whom I'm in a committed, serious, exclusive relationship. When I have one, though, RAWR. :D


Just a note, I'm heterosexual and come from a Christian family, but at one time I was gay or bisexual for a time when I was just hitting puberty. (Mostly, it was just me becoming very attracted to my friend, although not sexually. He does have a great body, though. Eventually, I got over it and now I'm straight like an arrow.) I'm also wondering if this is normal, but I've never seen any heterosexual male ever admit something like that.
Yes, it's normal. Deep friendships can confuse things a bit, especially for a teenager. You should know that sexual orientation is actually a continuum, not a clear-cut issue.

Alfred Kinsey used a scale, numbered from 0 to 6, 0 being completely heterosexual and 6 being completely homosexual. The majority of people are supposed to be somewhere between 1 and 2. Few people actually hit 0 or 6.

Probably you are rated somewhere along the lines of 1 or 1.5, being almost exclusively straight, but having felt desire or intimacy with one of a handful of persons of the same gender.

Hm, have a question myself, but you may or may not be able to answer it. I'm from a fairly sexually open background, but I consider myself straight in that I simply don't find other guys attractive while girls are very much so.

So... what's with the 'gaydar'? I've had a few admitted bisexual guys attracted to me, but while not interested I've always kind of wondered why. I'm not that attractive to females, but for some reason I've been fending off this kind of relationship more often than I'd like.

Is there some sort of signal I might be giving off that is counter to my actual orientation, or is it just a product of not being homophobic (I.E. I have no problem with hanging out with people of other orientations)?

I believe you might be on to something about your open-mindedness having something to do with that situation. At any rate, "gaydars" don't really exist. Or if they do, I don't have one. You can't tell someone's sexual orientation just from looking at him/her. I'd take a guess that you must be a pretty charismatic person, and that guys will naturally be attracted to you, and when they see you're not homophobic they'll figure out "hey, might as well try, he doesn't look like he'd punch me for asking him out for a coffee anyway".

Take it as compliment from them, I'd say.

I got a few questions.

1. What do gay male think of Metrosexuals? Do you like them, hate them, or indifference?

2. Why do homophobes think that homosexuals are like this,

http://msnbcmedia4.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/050626/050626_gaypride_hmed4p.hmedium.jpg

and lesbians are like this?

http://www.mulletjunky.com/webimages/dyke.jpg

3. What do you think of right wing Christians who say that all lesbians and homosexuals are going to Hell, how do you usually respond to that when someone says that?

I'm sure I have more questions, but that's all I can think of for now.

1. I hate them because they're usually hawt and I can't have them :p
2. Because they're completely ignorant of the reality of homosexuality and chose to make sweeping generalizations based on what little they see in pride parades and on the stereotypes they're told to believe.
3. I think they're the ones who are going to hell for not only forgetting the message Jesus brought to earth (Love thy neighbour, judge not lest ye shall be judged) but actively work against it. It's what I usually tell them, too.

Which group of people to you find you connect the most with?

Gay men and straight men, mostly, simply because most of my friends are of those two categories. Straight females come behind.


How important do you think sexual orientation is in describing a person? Is it a lifestyle or part of one?

It's not a lifestyle, I know I haven't changed my habits since coming out of the closet. It's more comparable to a taste. Despite that, it's actually pretty important to describe someone, because love life is one of the most important aspects of our lives.


Do you see all people of one sexual category as having similar tastes? Does gender not mean that much to you in a friend? Do you or did you at one point see people of a different orientation as all liking the same thing (subconsciously maybe).

Nope, tastes are individual. Gender means nothing to me in friendship. I don't quite understand the bolded question, if you would like me to answer, I'd need you to explain to me what you mean a bit more.


Roughly how often do you think about sex?

Constantly. I'm a man. :p


How do you treat/what do you think of people who are discriminated against for things like bestiality, incest and hentai? Have you met any homosexuals who have been abused due to their sexuality, but have a problem with other "frowned upon" sexual practices (consensual ones)?
As long as it's consensual, and not harmful to either one of the partners partaking in it, I don't feel strongly against it. 'Course, those practices make me ill at ease, but then again, mine makes other ill at ease. If we're talking consensual between consenting adults, then I don't get involved in it.

Skaladora- long time no see.
Why do gay men seem more hung up (forgive pun) on penis length than women? Most gals I talk to figure average length and more width is better than a footlong. But the gay guys I've talked to are much more concerned about length.

Glad to see you are still well, Kitten. I don't really know what it's all about, personally. Of course, we all like/wish we had/fantasize on large penises, but personally I'm not that much into size. Average is what does it for me. Too big limits what you can hope to do with it, and too small obviously has its own problems. I can't answer for everyone, but for me, size doesn't matter much. What does is what a guy can accomplish with the size he has.

I know I personally have had a lot of awkward moments with the ladies, having to tell them I didn't swing their way.

I'm glad you brought this up. Straight men who have a problem with homosexuality often seem to be afraid that they'll get hit on - that it's somehow an insult to them if they get hit on by a gay man. What they don't seem to realize is that anyone, gay or straight, can get hit on by a person who, for whatever reason, is not their type.

Straight women sometimes get hit on by other women or by men who they are not interested in. Straight men sometimes get hit on by other men or by women they are not interested in. And gay men might get hit on by women or by other gay men who they don't find attractive. I'm sure lesbians get hit on by men or unattractive lesbians. Why do some people make such a big deal out of it when one specific instance happens?

Dem, thank you for posting and allowing me to cut my huge-ass post in two. I think I should dub it MOAP.


Ska, how do you feel about people like Larry Craig who vote against any sort of civil rights for homosexuals despite being quite obviously homosexual themselves? In other words, how do you feel about people who deny their true sexuality?
I pity them and loathe them at the same time. I know it's harsh, but that's how I feel. How can one be so self-hating that he will automutilate his own rights? How can one be so hypocritical as to condemn in others what he does or feel himself? I have no answer to these questions, unfortunately.

If your parents were both gay then is it still called a coming-out when you have to confess you’re heterosexual?

:eek: I have no clue.

What I hate about gay people is their absolute gayitical correctness.

They have gay bars, gay movies, gay parades, gay music and still they scream about oppression.

We don’t have hetero bars, hetero movies, hetero parades or hetero music.

What’s your position about this one?
My position would be to remind you that every other, "non-gay" bar, movie, festival, music, etc. is in fact a hetero bar, a hetero movie, a hetero parade (Mardi Gras anyone?), hetero music, etc.

The world is overwhelmingly heteronormative, if only for the fact that heterosexuals make up a majority of the population. Saying you don't have hetero movies is denying the 40 fucking bazillion Hugh Grant/Sandra Bullock romantic comedies. Saying you don't have hetero music is like denying songs about love between a man and a woman don't exist and aren't disgustingly prevalent.

Can you blame gays for wanting to have some art and entertainment with which they can identify themselves? Because I swear to god I'll be long dead before anyone makes me watch "Maid in Manhattan".

Find a heterosexual pair. Ask the man to kiss his girl inside a gay bar and watch what will happen. :)

Nothing. This happens daily in my local gay bar. We're actually inclusive and bring over lots of straight friends with us.

Eh? Gays are in general sluts. I mean promiscuous.
No, they're not. Men in general are promiscuous, regardless of sexual orientation. Which doesn't stop many men from not being promiscuous, them being individuals and not obligated to abide by what sweeping generalizations say of them. It just so happens that I am one of them.

Also, that statement is offensive to me. I've made it clear I will answer any and all questions and nothing is off limits, but I do insist on the importance of respect for all in my thread.

Ska, good answers so far. :)

Thank you.


Just promise you won't go Fass on us and get deleted. ;)

I fail to see what I might have in common with Fass that could get me deleted. :rolleyes:



How easy was it for you in high school to deal with your sexuality? I know in mine they did have a GLBTG, so the ones in my high school had a support network. Did your school have it, and if so, did it help? If not, do you wish it did and would it have made a difference?

It was very easy, because I wasn't out of the closet until the year after I finished high school. Most schools here don't have any real support networks, hence making my volunteer work that much more important for paving the way for teens who might do their coming out in those years.


How do you feel about girls being attracted to gay guys?
I have several of those among my close friends. Their obsession baffles me somewhat, but I tolerate it and might even go so far as to encourage it by promising to let them take scandalous pictures if they ever manage to match me up with a decent, loving guy. :p

Since my thread got "temporarily" closed, I'll throw down in yours for a while.

As a gay man, how do you feel about slash fiction, yaoi, shonen-ai, and all the other various forms of male on male media produced and consumed mostly by women. Do they turn you on? do you feel insulted by the stereotypes they often present?
Those are usually very stereotypical, and aren't very arousing for a man because I find most women view sexuality in a different perspective than men and thus won't put the emphasis on what we find arousing, and instead put emphasis on things we don't find arousing.

It can be entertaining and I certainly have a certain curiosity towards those kind of media, but they're usually not something I can identify with. I don't feel insulted by it, either, seeing how women who produce this type of material usually like/love/idealise gay men and depict us in a very positive, flattering manner despite the stereotypes.


ADDENDUM: Geeze, that was a lot of work. I'm glad this humble thread is gathering that kind of interest. Thanks for your questions.

The world is overwhelmingly heteronormative

And the annoying thing about heteronormativity is that, almost by definition, it obscures itself.

Straight bars become "normal" bars... and thus nothing to comment on.

You offered, so I'm going to ask.

What's the big hairy deal with not liking being called fag, homo, queer, jizz-queen, etc?

If you are really proud to be a knob gobbler, what diff does it make what someone calls you?

Hell, I'm fat, balding and damn near blind. We are what we are, what the hell do words have to do with it?

Sticks and stones and all that, eh?

And the annoying thing about heteronormativity is that, almost by definition, it obscures itself.

Straight bars become "normal" bars... and thus nothing to comment on.

Exactly. Heteronormativity wouldn't be such a problem if only heterosexuals realized to what extend it's pervasive in every aspect of society and daily life. If they did, they certainly wouldn't wonder why we feel the need to have a gay bar here and there, and to have our own romantic comedies instead of having to suffer like a martyr by watching Hugh Grant and Sandra Bullock kiss on the widescreen. I swear to I've seen so much straight couples and cheesy kisses that I've been disgusted beyond salvation of this movie genre. But replace the actors with two cute guys in their early twenties, and suddenly I can feel myself be moved instead of feeling myself gag with the bile rising from my stomach.

You offered, so I'm going to ask.

What's the big hairy deal with not liking being called fag, homo, queer, jizz-queen, etc?

If you are really proud to be a knob gobbler, what diff does it make what someone calls you?

Hell, I'm fat, balding and damn near blind. We are what we are, what the hell do words have to do with it?

Sticks and stones and all that, eh?
This could be considered very offensive by most, and I personally do find your words offensive. But I'll answer nonetheless:

It's not the term that's a problem, it's the intent behind the use of the term. I sometimes refer to myself as a "fag" in my autoderisive moments, just like some black men call each other "******". However, a homophobe calling a gay person "fag", just like a racist calling a black-skinned person "******", is unacceptable simply because of the hatred and implied violence it makes the word convey.

I've had people call me a slurry name before, for lack of knowing what kind of term was respectful to use. I made no big deal of it and explained calmly what was a correct way to speak of a gay person, because I could clearly see that person had not intended to slur me despite her poor choice of words.

That being said, please don't use those terms any more while posting in my thread(and I might even suggest you don't use them ever, lest you face reactions of people who feel much more strongly than I over this). We're trying to keep this as respectful as can be.

.........This could be considered very offensive by most, ................That being said, please don't use those terms any more while posting in my thread(and I might even suggest you don't use them ever, lest you face reactions of people who feel much more strongly than I over this). We're trying to keep this as respectful as can be.

Keeping it "real" and all, two guys playing grab-ass and tonguing each other "could be considered very offensive by most".

As for the rest, it's all PC garp in my book. Words are just words. I'm considered an asshole to a fair number of people because I speak my mind, plain and true, yet many of them still call me a friend because they understand that I don't buy into this pansy-assed PC shite and they know exactly where they stand with me, which is a hell of a lot more than can be said for two-faced jackasses who lie to themselves and everyone else in the name of "not wanting to offend". What tripe!

Sure, every once in a while, some thin-skinned no-self-esteem wanker decides he wants to take a swipe because I call it like I see it. Such is life.

To close, thank you for your time, and your expected response to my original question. I was hoping for something a little more substantial, but it is what it is. I will say that I admire your testicular fortitude in opening the thread, and most of your answers, while predictable, at least appear to be honest, and for that, if nothing else, you deserve respect.

Not, of course, that you give a rats ass what I think, but hey, that's how it is supposed to work, eh?

<snip>

But why would you call someone a "******" instead of just "African-American"? You're intentionally being offensive when it would be just as easy to not insult them.

By why would you call someone a "******" instead of just "African-American"? You're intentionally being offensive when it would be just as easy to not insult them.

I'd rather have this remain a place where people can ask questions about sexual orientation, and not see it derail into a debate about political correctness. I agree with you on seeing no point in not taking the minimum amount of consideration in order to address others in a respectful manner, but that's a subject that could easily justify its own thread.

Based on your experience, how many gay men conform to the gay stereotype?

Based on your experience, how many gay men conform to the gay stereotype?

A minority, not a majority.

It's pretty hard to quantify, especially using only empirical evidence from my life experience, but I'd say at most around 20%.

I'd rather have this remain a place where people can ask questions about sexual orientation, and not see it derail into a debate about political correctness. I agree with you on seeing no point in not taking the minimum amount of consideration in order to address others in a respectful manner, but that's a subject that could easily justify its own thread.

Fair enough. So let me ask you this, which is similar I guess to New Genoa's question: do shows like Will & Grace hurt or help homosexuals?

A minority, not a majority.

It's pretty hard to quantify, especially using only empirical evidence from my life experience, but I'd say at most around 20%.

Do you think age correlates to taht? Like more young gay men tend to act in one way versus older ones?

Fair enough. So let me ask you this, which is similar I guess to New Genoa's question: do shows like Will & Grace hurt or help homosexuals?
I'm a French Canadian, and haven't been watching a lot of TV (much less english TV) lately. I haven't watched Will & Grace, so I'd need to know a bit more about the show to answer that question.


Do you think age correlates to that? Like more young gay men tend to act in one way versus older ones?
Excellent question. In fact, I think less young gay men act in a feminine way than older gay men. I think that a generation or two ago, when it was such a taboo, acquiring some behavioral quirks (ex: lisping, bent wrist) was the only safe way for homosexuals to identify each other. Nowadays, it's much easier to live your differing sexual orientation openly, and you can be out of the closet (and thus be identifiable for other gay men) without having to change the way you behave.

Of course, there are still some young gay man who act according to what our gender stereotypes identify as feminine behavior, but it just seems to be the way they are, as opposed to some older men whom give me the expression of exaggerating those traits.

Bear in mind what I just wrote has zero scientific or sociological value, it's just my ramblings thoughts on the matter.

Ska, what do you think is the typical ratio of homosexuals to heterosexuals, and do you think it's different in other societies across the world?

Also, how much better off do you think the world would be if homosexuals were granted full rights by every nation, everywhere?

Ska, what do you think is the typical ratio of homosexuals to heterosexuals, and do you think it's different in other societies across the world?

We all know what it is in Iran, 0:1. Now that the joke has been made, I don't feel a need to ever use it again.
Sorry, Skaladora. Please continue...

Ska, what do you think is the typical ratio of homosexuals to heterosexuals, and do you think it's different in other societies across the world?

There's an estimated 10% of the population that would identify themselves as homosexuals. Adding bisexuals to the mix would bring to total to around 30%, according to some studies. I don't think the ratio is very different depending on location; what might be different would be how many among these act upon their desires. I'd imagine if I lived in Iran and could get put to death for this, I might maybe consider sucking it up, getting a convenience marriage with a woman, and pretend that I wasn't attracted to guys.



Also, how much better off do you think the world would be if homosexuals were granted full rights by every nation, everywhere?
Much better off. I daresay that a world where that happened would probably be a world free of racism, sexism, and xenophobia as well. Either way, freedom and equal rights promotes creativity and prosperity, so the benefits would be impressive.

How easily do you think it will be getting those who are homophobic to change their views? How far are you willing to go to prove yourself worthy of the rights you deserve?

How easily do you think it will be getting those who are homophobic to change their views? How far are you willing to go to prove yourself worthy of the rights you deserve?

I'm ready to go as far as go into high schools and spend dozens of hours a year doing volunteer work to give them accurate, real information to dispell prejudice and homophobia. I'm ready to hold hands and have PDAs in public with my boyfriend, despite the stares and/or jeers and/or awkwardness, in order to raise awareness that gays exist and they do their shopping, groceries, and stroll around town like everybody else. I'm ready to stand up and verbally thrash any argumentation that tries to establish I am not a citizen with fully equal rights, deserving of equal respect. I am ready to defend myself tooth and nail should anyone try to physically assault me.

The only thing I haven't had to do yet in that list is the last item. Let's cross our fingers that it stays that way. As for how easy it will be? Let's just say I don't really expect it to be completely done in my own lifetime.

Do you think homophobic people should be reasoned with, should we attempt to fill them with sense, or do you see them as better left ignored rather than fought?

I'm ready to go as far as go into high schools and spend dozens of hours a year doing volunteer work to give them accurate, real information to dispell prejudice and homophobia. I'm ready to hold hands and have PDAs in public with my boyfriend, despite the stares and/or jeers and/or awkwardness, in order to raise awareness that gays exist and they do their shopping, groceries, and stroll around town like everybody else. I'm ready to stand up and verbally thrash any argumentation that tries to establish I am not a citizen with fully equal rights, deserving of equal respect. I am ready to defend myself tooth and nail should anyone try to physically assault me.

The only thing I haven't had to do yet in that list is the last item. Let's cross our fingers that it stays that way. As for how easy it will be? Let's just say I don't really expect it to be completely done in my own lifetime.

Good, good...all good to hear. I'd try to do some of those things but I fear my own heterosexuality would make them difficult at best.

One final question--for now--then: you said you doubt you'd see it completely done in your own lifetime. Well, this might seem vaguely personal, but how old are you? I'm going to guess you're about twenty six.

Do you think homophobic people should be reasoned with, should we attempt to fill them with sense, or do you see them as better left ignored rather than fought?

The vast majority of homophobic people are homophobic because of ignorance. They have to be presented with correct and complete information, and that will bring most of them around given enough time and occasions to be exposed to this reality.

The rest, we can ignore and/or regard with contempt. Those who persist to deny reality when it is put under their nose do not deserve to be taken seriously anymore.

Good, good...all good to hear. I'd try to do some of those things but I fear my own heterosexuality would make them difficult at best.

One final question--for now--then: you said you doubt you'd see it completely done in your own lifetime. Well, this might seem vaguely personal, but how old are you? I'm going to guess you're about twenty six.

Close enough, I'm twenty four years old. I'll turn to be a quarter of a century next April. I feel old. :(

Close enough, I'm twenty four years old. I'll turn to be a quarter of a century next April. I feel old. :(

Don't. You're only as old as you feel and let yourself feel. Exercise and proper nutrition can keep you functioning in perfect health well into your seventies and medical technology from there can keep you functioning longer still.

Besides, I suspect you and I will be able to take advantage of nanotechnology long before we reach our sixties anyway.

Don't. You're only as old as you feel and let yourself feel. Exercise and proper nutrition can keep you functioning in perfect health well into your seventies and medical technology from there can keep you functioning longer still.

Besides, I suspect you and I will be able to take advantage of nanotechnology long before we reach our sixties anyway.

Heh, I don't "look" old. I'm fit, athletic, and I daresay without false modesty somewhat good looking.

I just "feel" old because I tend to associate with, and spend a lot of time with younger people, and usually I present myself as a positive role model. So that tends to make me feel older. Maturity can be hard to come by, even with young men around my age.

Heh, I don't "look" old. I'm fit, athletic, and I daresay without false modesty somewhat good looking.

I just "feel" old because I tend to associate with, and spend a lot of time with younger people, and usually I present myself as a positive role model. So that tends to make me feel older. Maturity can be hard to come by, even with young men around my age.

I'd be flattered in your situation, Ska. Look at yourself not as old, but as...more full of wisdom. A respected elder, if you will. I am aware that gives connotations of a much older age than you are, but you are technically older than they are so the term is applicable, even if only using dictionary definitions versus common connotations.

OK, I have a question. Putting aside the issue that there is nothing wrong with being homosexual (which, as a bisexual, I firmly believe), if there were some magical cure that would make you heterosexual, would you take it? Would you recommend it to others?

OK, I have a question. Putting aside the issue that there is nothing wrong with being homosexual (which, as a bisexual, I firmly believe), if there were some magical cure that would make you heterosexual, would you take it? Would you recommend it to others?

No, I wouldn't. I probably would have taken it a couple of years ago, back before/while I was coming out of the closet. I was afraid, and would have rather not have lived the tough times and trials that constitutes the act of coming out.

Now, though, I realize those events have shaped my life and character. They made me who I am, forged my personnality, made me stronger and wiser, and also more compassionate and understanding of difference. In other words, I'm a much better person now for having lived through all that than I probably would have been if I had been straight and didn't have to face the soul searching and overcoming of these obstacles. I would not be willing to give that up now. And I wouldn't take a pill that magically cured me now, because of course I accept myself as I am and feel no desire to change, because such a change would only be to try to please some of the more unaccepting members of society, and I owe nothing to those people.

Hello, good folks of NSG.

A whole lot of threads pertaining to homosexuality have been popping lately, as it periodically happens on this forum.

This thread is to be set aside from the others: this is no place for debate, no place to argue about morality or choices, nothing of the sort. This thread is intended by me as a means of allowing you ask everything you have ever wondered about homosexuality but never had the occasion (or dared) to ask.

I am, of course, a gay man, and I am willing to answer all questions honestly and truthfully according to my present life experience. To put things into perspective, know that this is something I do on a regular basis in the form of volunteer work. I visit high school classes during their Sex Ed periods, at the behest of teachers, to answer the questions of the student regarding sexual diversity. So I am as qualified as can be for this task without having a Ph.D in Sexology.

If a lesbian woman likewise feels comfortable to answer questions specific to female homosexuality, then she would be quite welcome to complement this thread with her presence.

Ask away!

Was Mario Cantone's children's show canceled because the producers found out what a "Steampipe Alley" really is?

Was Mario Cantone's children's show canceled because the producers found out what a "Steampipe Alley" really is?

*blinks*

Who is Mario Cantone, and what kind of show did he have?

Also, I can probably figure out what "Steampipe Alley" is, but then again I have a dirty mind, and I hardly think anyone would willingly and purposefully put sexual innuendo in children's show. :p

...and I hardly think anyone would willingly and purposefully put sexual innuendo in children's show. :p

http://209.85.12.231/11055/49/emo/lolani.gifhttp://209.85.12.231/11055/49/emo/lolani.gifhttp://209.85.12.231/11055/49/emo/lolani.gif

Skaladora, I've just been wondering. Since many heterosexuals are homophobes, are there any gays you know of who are heterophobes?

Skaladora, I've just been wondering. Since many heterosexuals are homophobes, are there any gays you know of who are heterophobes?

Actually, yes. It's a very rare phenomenon, but it exists. Most homosexuals are very inclusive and have numerous heterosexual friends. But there are some cases of gay men (I don't know of any lesbian woman like that, though), mostly older, who don't want to associate with heterosexual and instead live in the Gay Village in Montreal (the city's gay district) and avoid contact with straights as much as possible. They can say things like: they don't like them, they can't be trusted, they're all closet homophobes and are out to get us, etc.

Most of those are men who have been faced with very intense and saddening amounts of prejudice and homophobic violence (physical or psychological), so I theorize that their heterophobia is derived from their fear of being badly treated by heterosexuals, and that they choose to live among gays and shut straights out of their live as a self-defense mechanism.

Like I said, extremely rare a phenomenon, but not completely unheard of.

*blinks*

Who is Mario Cantone, and what kind of show did he have?

Also, I can probably figure out what "Steampipe Alley" is, but then again I have a dirty mind, and I hardly think anyone would willingly and purposefully put sexual innuendo in children's show. :p

Mario Cantone is a comedian. He played Charlotte's gay boyfriend on Sex and the City and was the "ask a gay dude" gay dude on Dave Chappelle's show.

Here's a question: Why do you hate God?

Here's a question: Why do you hate God?

I don't.

But you do though. Everytime you have a homosexual thought, the Lord extinguishes the life of a young African child.

But you do though. Everytime you have a homosexual thought, the Lord extinguishes the life of a young African child.

You must be mistaken, because no such thing happens.



....



What actually happens is that every time I masturbate, God kills a kitten. Good thing those little felines breed like their life depended on it; because it does. :p

The Lord sees all (voyeuristic, eh?), knows all and is present at all. You will be judged when your time is over.

My mind refuses to acknowledge the remote possibility of you being serious.

Behold proof of my previous statement!

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q228/fredsav52/God-kills-kitten.jpg

The Lord sees all (voyeuristic, eh?), knows all and is present at all. You will be judged when your time is over.

www.worth1000.com/entries/72000/72106QVXU_w.jpg

That is what awaits you.

www.worth1000.com/entries/72000/72106QVXU_w.jpg

That is what awaits you.

Mediocre art? Ooh... yes, let's do avoid that.

Would you please stop trolling?

Mediocre art? Ooh... yes, let's do avoid that.

Would you please stop trolling?
Trolling? Who?

Now, would you stop whining?

Skaladora, would you like to get married someday? Do you have any interest in raising children? And do you find that most homosexuals in your experience have feelings one way or the other about having families?

Skaladora, would you like to get married someday? Do you have any interest in raising children? And do you find that most homosexuals in your experience have feelings one way or the other about having families?
I certainly would have answered "yes" to the first question without hesitation three years ago, back when I was with my first boyfriend. I was pretty idealistic and convinced we'd spend our lives together. History, however, has taught me wrong.

Nowadays? I believe I still would, but I'd be much more circumspect about doing so. My aim is of sharing my whole life with the same lover, but I understand such a commitment could be hard to achieve. In any case, it's not very important to me; as long as I'm in a meaningful, committed, serious, exclusive and long-term relationship, whether we have a contract making it official or are living in a free union is irrelevant.

I'm not currently interested in raising children, but then again I'm single at the moment. Were I to find a suitable partner and spend a few years with him, maybe I'd develop a paternal fibre. It's not a definite "no" for me, just a "not right now".

Feelings about having a family or not varies greatly from individual to individual, it's impossible to generalise for most.

Here's a question: Why do you hate God?
For the same reason you hate Santa.

But you do though. Everytime you have a homosexual thought, the Lord extinguishes the life of a young African child.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster does no such thing.

Ska, which political party* do you feel represents homosexuals interests (and for that matter minority interests) the most? Which party would ensure the protection of your rights in this country?

Ska, which political party* do you feel represents homosexuals interests (and for that matter minority interests) the most? Which party would ensure the protection of your rights in this country?

First of all, I'm Canadian, so no comments on US politics.

I'm proud to support the NDP. Jack Layton is the *only* major party leader to ever had gotten up on a stage (with his wife Olivia Chow, also a NDP member), next to two Drag Queens in order to raise funds to fight AIDS and support AIDS victims. He is obviously the best choice for GLBT rights in Canada, although the Bloc Québécois also supports our rights strongly (I'm not separatist, though, so no voting for them).

First of all, I'm Canadian, so no comments on US politics.

I'm proud to support the NDP. Jack Layton is the *only* major party leader to ever had gotten up on a stage (with his wife Olivia Chow, also a NDP member), next to two Drag Queens in order to raise funds to fight AIDS and support AIDS victims. He is obviously the best choice for GLBT rights in Canada, although the Bloc Québécois also supports our rights strongly (I'm not separatist, though, so no voting for them).

;) In case you didn't notice my location is Canadian as well...

But, if you were a separatist, you'd vote for the Bloc?

:rolleyes:

Actually, yes. It's a very rare phenomenon, but it exists. Most homosexuals are very inclusive and have numerous heterosexual friends. But there are some cases of gay men (I don't know of any lesbian woman like that, though), mostly older, who don't want to associate with heterosexual and instead live in the Gay Village in Montreal (the city's gay district) and avoid contact with straights as much as possible. They can say things like: they don't like them, they can't be trusted, they're all closet homophobes and are out to get us, etc.

Most of those are men who have been faced with very intense and saddening amounts of prejudice and homophobic violence (physical or psychological), so I theorize that their heterophobia is derived from their fear of being badly treated by heterosexuals, and that they choose to live among gays and shut straights out of their live as a self-defense mechanism.

Like I said, extremely rare a phenomenon, but not completely unheard of.

Oh, just wondering.

But you do though. Everytime you have a homosexual thought, the Lord extinguishes the life of a young African child.

Sounds to me we should visit this "Lord" with a shotgun.

Too long would seem to be awkward to me, width, now that can be nice, to an extent.

You ought read gay porn sometime though, the anatomical descriptions are beyond belief.You are obviously unaware of my slash addiction. And in my fag hag days I would have to walk around with my eyes closed half the time if I had wanted to avoid seeing gay porn.:D

;) In case you didn't notice my location is Canadian as well...

But, if you were a separatist, you'd vote for the Bloc?

All the separatists vote for the bloc. And since they've also supported Gay Marriage and other equal rights measure, well, I wouldn't have any reason not to.

If I was separatist. But Jack Layton > Gilles Duceppe anyway.

Re: "gay pride"

Pointless and irrational. May as well be proud of having brown hair.

I've got to disagree with you about this. There's no reason for brown-haired people to cultivate a sense of pride in overcoming social and cultural discrimination, because brown-haired people are rarely persocuted for that trait. Whatever gay pride events have been transformed into because of growing commercial involvement, the point of gay pride events is to dispel the idea that "there are no queers here (or anywhere)." It's an occasion for GLBT people to stand up and be counted and say "I'm here, we exist, we are real people and we deserve equal treatment and dignity." It's about overthrowing the regime that the homophobes and heterosexists desire, which is gay invisibility or gay non-existence.

Now whether each and every one of us gay people feels the need for a pride event is irrelevant, because Pride isn't for those of us who are unafraid; it's for the closeted GLBT people who feel like they're "the only one"-- to show them not only that they aren't alone, but that the gay 'community' is as diverse as any other and that we aren't all drag queens or 'weirdos,' which is a conception that keeps some gay people from coming out. They figure that if they don't fit the stereotypes then they can't "really" be, but Pride demonstrates that they don't 'have to' fit stereotypes (but also, hopefully, that they don't have to be ashamed either, if they do).

[...]First off, I'm Canadian, and live in the province of Québec, luckily one of the most open-minded places in North America. [...]

Well... unless you're part of a religious minority, anyway, judging from the news lately regarding all the Islamophobia in la belle province. :-P

Well... unless you're part of a religious minority, anyway, judging from the news lately regarding all the Islamophobia in la belle province. :-P

It's mostly being hyped up by the media. The minute you live in Québec or Montreal(comprising 60% of the total population of the province) you don't get any problems. It's the rural towns, who paradoxally never even saw a Muslim set foot in them, who have Islamophobia problems.

And like homophobia, it's a phenomenon created by ignorance, and ought to be corrected with pedagogy and information.

Re: "gay pride"



I've got to disagree with you about this. There's no reason for brown-haired people to cultivate a sense of pride in overcoming social and cultural discrimination, because brown-haired people are rarely persocuted for that trait. Whatever gay pride events have been transformed into because of growing commercial involvement, the point of gay pride events is to dispel the idea that "there are no queers here (or anywhere)." It's an occasion for GLBT people to stand up and be counted and say "I'm here, we exist, we are real people and we deserve equal treatment and dignity." It's about overthrowing the regime that the homophobes and heterosexists desire, which is gay invisibility or gay non-existence.

Now whether each and every one of us gay people feels the need for a pride event is irrelevant, because Pride isn't for those of us who are unafraid; it's for the closeted GLBT people who feel like they're "the only one"-- to show them not only that they aren't alone, but that the gay 'community' is as diverse as any other and that we aren't all drag queens or 'weirdos,' which is a conception that keeps some gay people from coming out. They figure that if they don't fit the stereotypes then they can't "really" be, but Pride demonstrates that they don't 'have to' fit stereotypes (but also, hopefully, that they don't have to be ashamed either, if they do).

Bold mine.

That, to me, is exactly the point of Pride. It isn't pride in the sense that you might be proud of winning an award or completing a task. Instead, it is pride in the sense that you are unashamed of who you are and no one and nothing will change that. And those of us who go to support friends aren't saying, "Wow, I'm so proud of you for being gay!" Instead, we are enforcing the idea that they should not be ashamed - we are supporting them in being open and making it clear that we don't think they should be ashamed of it either.

In my opinion, Pride festivals and the like will have a place in our society until the vast majority of society moves beyond petty bigotry and stops telling members of the LGBT community that they should be ashamed.

Umm... not sure if this got asked yet or not, but:
Have you come out to your family yet? If so, which members, how did you tell them, and how has it turned out?

I'm a gay male myself. My two siblings know (they really don't care), my dad knows (but he denies it, so whatever to him) and my stepmom knows (because my dad tells that bitch everything).
But other than that, I've decided that I won't tell ANYONE else in my family, including my mother. I even have some friends in college that don't know yet (I've only known them for a couple of months, though).
(And there are all the kids I used to go to high school with that didn't know... and even better, there were kids that knew but somehow forgot... don't ask).

[...]There's a lot of overlap, in my experience, but there's also a lot of exclusive territory. Honestly, it's pretty much just like how heterosexuals work: most of the time, men and women share space and share causes, but there's also some "man" spaces and some "woman" spaces. I find it just as annoying when gay people do this as I do when straight people do it. I'm all for giving people their space, but divisions based on gender are a pile of crap (IMO).


While I'm all for equality (of genders, of orientations, or races, etc) what's the problem with there being spaces wherein men, or women, or gay, or straight, or black, or yellow people consentually associate with "their own?" If you recognise that, for instance, men are 'different' from women in some ways-- not 'better' or 'worse,' but 'different' in some ways-- then as long as those consociational (consentual-associational) aren't nests of fermenting 'anti-other' hate (men sitting around bitching about women or vice-versa) and they aren't forcing out the 'others,' what's wrong with them existing? Men or women or gays or straights or blacks or whites or whatevers shouldn't be prevented from getting together in like groups to figure out what they have in common and how their experiences of being men/women/gay/straight/black/white/whatever are similar.

After all, in calling for diversity you must necessarily acknowledge that differences exist. If they didn't exist, we'd be uniform and there'd be no need to talk about diversity. So if we acknowledge differences-- for instance that a group of men will tend to share certain traits or abilities that are more predominantly 'male' than 'female' (even if those traits are more socially constructed than biologically determined)-- then men getting together and expressing their 'maleness' doesn't have to be malignant. Like I say, as long as it isn't guys getting together to point out women's 'flaws,' what's the problem with it? Moreover, isn't saying "male spaces" or "female spaces" or "gay spaces" or "straight spaces" (not exclusionary locations, but circumstantial places where male or female or gay or straight people happen to have congregated) are illegitimate a denial of people's freedom of association?

:rolleyes:

It's a Fass.

What's with the rolling of the eyes?

What I hate about gay people is their absolute gayitical correctness.

They have gay bars, gay movies, gay parades, gay music and still they scream about oppression.

We don’t have hetero bars, hetero movies, hetero parades or hetero music.

What’s your position about this one?


Um... yes, 'you' do. Have 'hetero bars' and 'hetero movies' and 'hetero music.' Gay bars were set up because gay people weren't welcome in (or didn't like) all the bars which were taken-for-granted to be straight. For most of the history of film, almost no movies featured gay characters and when they did they were pathologised as suicidal or murderous or otherwise mentally ill; positive portrayals of gay people in movies is a relatively recent phenomenon-- prior to that all the movies were 'straight' movies. And as for 'gay music,' I propose you do a statistical study. See how many songs out there in the musicsphere are about a man loving a woman or vice-versa ('straight music') versus songs about men loving men or women loving women. The reason you're noticing gay people in society and in culture is because for ages gay people have been invisible and everything was assumed to be 'straight,' and now that that's changed straight people who were comfortable being the be-all and end-all are having to deal with something 'other.' Getting over self-absorbption is hard that way.

And further to that, there's never been any need in our culture for a straight pride parade because straight people haven't been told they're "sick" or deviant for being straight, haven't been driven to commit suicide because of 'straight-oppression,' haven't been treated like non-persons for being straight. There's never been a "straight pride day" because every day it's been the status quo for straight people to be 'proud.' Straight 'pride' is assumed.

I believwhoe 'orientation' is a purely self-creating prophesy that serves to keep a restrictive idea of what is takes to be acceptable to the opposite sex 'pure'. I think emotion matters more than sex - after all, nobody confuses prostitution with extremes of love. The Gay Movement is something Hitler could only have dreamt of, getting all the non-conformists to exclude themselves from influencing his idea of 'real man' by excluding themselves from it. Some people say there's 'born orientation' - so how come ancient Greek men were 'born' to despise women in preference for teenage boys when modern are not? How can 'orientation' be anything except cultural indoctrination? In my view, anyone who tells young teenagers that they 'are queer', whether to beat them up or to recruit them, is equally a child abuser and anybody who turns their nose up at the other sex because if what they are to avoid getting close enough to ever know who they are is no different from anyone parading 'pride' in their 'homoraciality'. Exclusive homosexuality is traditional prejudice against the other sex creeping back under the door. Gay Pride parades are a licensed way of telling the kids not to behave like this if they want the other sex to accept them. They are a form of maintaining the sex-fascist traditions and excluding liberalism.

There is nothing wrong with homosexual acts and affections. There is everything wrong with excusing prejudice against the other sex by whining that opposition to it is 'homophobic'. If you can't respect the other sex enough to think them literally worth a shag, whether you make it with your own or not makes no more difference than some KKK member calling it unfair to call them racist because they are actually free from 'conditioning' because only attracted to their own race.

I believwhoe 'orientation' is a purely self-creating prophesy that serves to keep a restrictive idea of what is takes to be acceptable to the opposite sex 'pure'. I think emotion matters more than sex - after all, nobody confuses prostitution with extremes of love. The Gay Movement is something Hitler could only have dreamt of, getting all the non-conformists to exclude themselves from influencing his idea of 'real man' by excluding themselves from it. Some people say there's 'born orientation' - so how come ancient Greek men were 'born' to despise women in preference for teenage boys when modern are not? How can 'orientation' be anything except cultural indoctrination? In my view, anyone who tells young teenagers that they 'are queer', whether to beat them up or to recruit them, is equally a child abuser and anybody who turns their nose up at the other sex because if what they are to avoid getting close enough to ever know who they are is no different from anyone parading 'pride' in their 'homoraciality'. Exclusive homosexuality is traditional prejudice against the other sex creeping back under the door. Gay Pride parades are a licensed way of telling the kids not to behave like this if they want the other sex to accept them. They are a form of maintaining the sex-fascist traditions and excluding liberalism.

There is nothing wrong with homosexual acts and affections. There is everything wrong with excusing prejudice against the other sex by whining that opposition to it is 'homophobic'. If you can't respect the other sex enough to think them literally worth a shag, whether you make it with your own or not makes no more difference than some KKK member calling it unfair to call them racist because they are actually free from 'conditioning' because only attracted to their own race.

What? You seem to think that gay people are gay because they hate women, which is wrong on so many levels I don't even know where to start.

I don't think has been covered in here before.

How do you think the gay community feels about transgendered/transsexual people?

This is from a personal standpoint - I'm a female-to-male gay transman. Basically, is it safe for me to pursue gay men? What are my chances of ever being accepted in the community as a gay man?

I believwhoe 'orientation' is a purely self-creating prophesy that serves to keep a restrictive idea of what is takes to be acceptable to the opposite sex 'pure'. I think emotion matters more than sex - after all, nobody confuses prostitution with extremes of love. The Gay Movement is something Hitler could only have dreamt of, getting all the non-conformists to exclude themselves from influencing his idea of 'real man' by excluding themselves from it. Some people say there's 'born orientation' - so how come ancient Greek men were 'born' to despise women in preference for teenage boys when modern are not? How can 'orientation' be anything except cultural indoctrination? In my view, anyone who tells young teenagers that they 'are queer', whether to beat them up or to recruit them, is equally a child abuser and anybody who turns their nose up at the other sex because if what they are to avoid getting close enough to ever know who they are is no different from anyone parading 'pride' in their 'homoraciality'. Exclusive homosexuality is traditional prejudice against the other sex creeping back under the door. Gay Pride parades are a licensed way of telling the kids not to behave like this if they want the other sex to accept them. They are a form of maintaining the sex-fascist traditions and excluding liberalism.

There is nothing wrong with homosexual acts and affections. There is everything wrong with excusing prejudice against the other sex by whining that opposition to it is 'homophobic'. If you can't respect the other sex enough to think them literally worth a shag, whether you make it with your own or not makes no more difference than some KKK member calling it unfair to call them racist because they are actually free from 'conditioning' because only attracted to their own race.

1) To RECRUIT them? Seriously? No one is recruited to being gay. One of my favorite slogans at the last Gay Pride parade I attended was "Ten percent is not enough! Recruit, recruit, recruit!" We laughed and laughed, especially at the protesters (all three of them) who were shocked and seemed to think we were serious while chanting it.

2) "Exclusive homosexuality is traditional prejudice against the other sex creeping back under the door." Er... no. Exclusive homosexuality is a sexual preference for partners of the same sex. It is not a prejudice against the other sex. Just as heterosexuality does not equal homophobia.

3)"Gay Pride parades are a licensed way of telling the kids not to behave like this if they want the other sex to accept them." Wrong again. Gay pride parades are a way of telling kids that it is ok to be whoever you are, gay, straight or bi, and that there is no need to hide it anymore. It also says "there are others of whatever you are out here, and you can find support and love, so go ahead and be yourself!" I am a woman and I accept gay men just fine.

4) Your whole last paragraph makes no sense. Just because a gay man does not want to sleep with a woman does not mean he is prejudiced against her, merely that he is not sexually attracted to her. He doesn't dislike her, he doesn't say that he wants her to be oppressed or treated like a second class citizen, just that he does not want to have sex with her. The KKK, however, is not saying "I am attracted to white people", which would be OK, but rather "I hate anyone who isn't white" which is wrong. You seem to be saying that if anyone expresses a preference for anything, they are automatically prejudiced against the choice they didn't make, which is patently absurd.

so how come ancient Greek men were 'born' to despise women in preference for teenage boys when modern are not?

While Greek society was in many ways highly sexist, and in that sense ancient Greek men "despised" women, the Greeks nevertheless had plenty of heterosexual relationships. Indeed, sexism, however virulent, rarely seems to extinguish heterosexuality.

The practices you seem to be referring to were not really indicative of "orientation"; the acceptable same-sex relationships occurred within a very limited social context, not really analogous to same-sex couples today, and "exclusive" homosexuality was looked down upon as effeminate. (Sexism, indeed, is central not to homosexuality, but to homophobia.)

If you can't respect the other sex enough to think them literally worth a shag

Oh my God, this has got to be a joke.

I suppose men who don't have sex with other men are really just self-hating, too? ;)

I believe 'orientation' comes from a belief that there is a right way to be heterosexual and kids grow up learning to believe they 'belong' to one side or the other. Many people have actually broken free from stereotyping - women more than men - and can admit to loving the person before the body and enjoying lovers of either sex. In my opinion, the whole 'gay thing' is little more than a reaction against loosening the boundaries of how to behave to be accepted by the other sex: be an effeminate teenage boy having relationships with other boys and the chances are that 'the world' will tell you 'you are' - that is 'to be' - gay for the rest of your life. Any discrimination based on physical appearance is by definition a prejudice. If you can fall in love with somebody over a chat room and then find they are not what you thought, it shows that (however deceptive and therefore best avoided), attraction lies in the mind, not the genitals. Let's avoid putting any exclusive labels on anybody.

In my opinion, the whole 'gay thing' is little more than a reaction against loosening the boundaries of how to behave to be accepted by the other sex: be an effeminate teenage boy having relationships with other boys and the chances are that 'the world' will tell you 'you are' - that is 'to be' - gay for the rest of your life.

Um, the "world" has been pretty keen on telling gays that they don't really exist, and their attractions are distorted and mistaken... and, indeed, has invested intense efforts into getting them into straight relationships.

Yet, somehow, millions of people still experience more or less exclusive attraction to the same sex. :rolleyes:

Any discrimination based on physical appearance is by definition a prejudice.

So it is your view that heterosexuality in men is founded on anti-male sexism?

And people who are more attracted to, say, brown hair than black hair really just hate black-haired people?

If you can fall in love with somebody over a chat room and then find they are not what you thought, it shows that (however deceptive and therefore best avoided), attraction lies in the mind, not the genitals.

No, it doesn't... because generally a person who falls in love with someone over a chat room develops an image of him or her in his or her mind.

lolz
The n00b is funny.

Just a note, I'm heterosexual and come from a Christian family, but at one time I was gay or bisexual for a time when I was just hitting puberty. (Mostly, it was just me becoming very attracted to my friend, although not sexually. He does have a great body, though. Eventually, I got over it and now I'm straight like an arrow.) I'm also wondering if this is normal, but I've never seen any heterosexual male ever admit something like that.

Sorry, doesn't work like that. What you mean is that you ARE gay or bisexual.

It's a Fass.

"It's Britney, bitch!"

What's with the rolling of the eyes?

To show my disapproval of this ingratiating pony show.

"It's Britney, bitch!"



To show my disapproval of this ingratiating pony show.

Yes who needs honest dialog when you can be caustic and snippy?

Yes who needs honest dialog when you can be caustic and snippy?

This ain't a dialogue. This is a minstrel act.

Yes who needs honest dialog when you can be caustic and snippy?Translation of Fassitude: caustic and snippy.
It's part of his charm.

This ain't a dialogue. This is a minstrel act.

Feel free to locate the exit then.

Translation of Fassitude: caustic and snippy.
It's part of his charm.

It's part part of my people's charm - for you see, we are so exotic and in need of explaining and to be made appeasing to breeders.

Feel free to locate the exit then.

Or, I could make my opinion heard, sort of like I did. Yeah, I'm much happier with that option instead of yours.

Or, I could make my opinion heard, sort of like I did. Yeah, I'm much happier with that option instead of yours.

You make your opinion heard everywhere, even when it's really not required. You've taken the cross bearing offended homosexual bit to the extreme and frankly it wears really thin.

Umm... not sure if this got asked yet or not, but:
Have you come out to your family yet? If so, which members, how did you tell them, and how has it turned out?

I'm a gay male myself. My two siblings know (they really don't care), my dad knows (but he denies it, so whatever to him) and my stepmom knows (because my dad tells that bitch everything).
But other than that, I've decided that I won't tell ANYONE else in my family, including my mother. I even have some friends in college that don't know yet (I've only known them for a couple of months, though).
(And there are all the kids I used to go to high school with that didn't know... and even better, there were kids that knew but somehow forgot... don't ask).

Everybody knows for me, I came out of the coset 5 years ago. I couldn't ell my mom to her face, I was so scared I wrote her a letter instead(she's the first one I told). She took it badly in the beginning, was herself pretty prejudiced (again, because of ignorance: she'd never met an openly gay person, and thus believed all that was told her about gays being 'unnatural', when she was but a child). She eventually realised I hadn't changed at all, but only her perception of me had changed, and that I really didn't fit any of those stereotypes anyway. After I that had my first boyfriend, and it was another round of her having to get used to seeing me holding hands with him, but after a few months she relaxed about it and now if I bring a boyfriend it's all the same thing as if I was bringing my girlfriend home.

I told my father a year later, after I went to have dinner with him at his place. He looked at me in the eye and said:

'You're my son and I love you. The only thing that matters to me is that you live a happy life'.


Yeah, awwww. I admit we got a little bit of a teary-eyed hug after that.

Everybody else at university and my work knows, too, and it never was a problem for me. I'm a very social animal.

I don't think has been covered in here before.

How do you think the gay community feels about transgendered/transsexual people?

This is from a personal standpoint - I'm a female-to-male gay transman. Basically, is it safe for me to pursue gay men? What are my chances of ever being accepted in the community as a gay man?
It's a tough question. I know for a fact some gay, one might even say many, are ill-at-ease with trans people. I for one am pretty at ease with them, but you ask of me something I'm not sure I can answer: am I comfortable enough that I would DATE a trans?

Well, I suppose if you were good looking enough, and had finished undergoing all surgeries and hormonal therapies and stuff and were thus biologically a man... I think yes, I would. Might feel a bit uneasy about it in the beginning (much like with dating a bisexual, for example) but I'm sure if things went well I'd get used to it fast enough.

So, I guess I can't answer for your local gay community, but I know that MY opinion is: if you're a man hot enough, I'd shag you, whether or not you've been a man for all your life or only the past few years. =D

You make your opinion heard everywhere, even when it's really not required.

That's the beauty of threads on forums - no invite needed, and most certainly not your permission, if you thought otherwise.

You've taken the cross bearing offended homosexual bit to the extreme and frankly it wears really thin.

Well, what was that about being free to locate exists, hmm? Or is it that you participate in whatever thread you want and read what no one forces you to read? Scandalous!

It's part part of my people's charm - for you see, we are so exotic and in need of explaining and to be made appeasing to breeders.

:rolleyes:

How about we try not to derail this thread further?

Fass, your opinion is duly noted, and duly ignored, for I share not your beliefs. I chose to open this thread to answer people's questions in the spirit of information and fighting prejudice, and I've had plenty of honest, interesting questions by people who never had before the occasion to ask them. In this regard, my thread was very successful.

Fass, your opinion is duly noted, and duly ignored, for I share not your beliefs.

Of course you don't, I did remark that it was ingratiating.

I chose to open this thread to answer people's questions in the spirit of information and fighting prejudice, and I've had plenty of honest, interesting questions by people who never had before the occasion to ask them. In this regard, my thread was very successful.

You collaborated and submitted well, I do have to give you that.

While I'm all for equality (of genders, of orientations, or races, etc) what's the problem with there being spaces wherein men, or women, or gay, or straight, or black, or yellow people consentually associate with "their own?" If you recognise that, for instance, men are 'different' from women in some ways--

But that's just it...I don't recognize that. Because I have never found it to be true.


Men or women or gays or straights or blacks or whites or whatevers shouldn't be prevented from getting together in like groups to figure out what they have in common and how their experiences of being men/women/gay/straight/black/white/whatever are similar.

I never said I wanted to prevent anybody from associating with whomever they chose. I simply think it's annoying when people think that maleness or femaleness is a good criterion to use for segregating groups, and I think it's just as annoying when gay people do it.


After all, in calling for diversity you must necessarily acknowledge that differences exist. If they didn't exist, we'd be uniform and there'd be no need to talk about diversity.

Yes, there's amazing diversity among people. In fact, there's as much diversity among men and among women as there is between men and women, which is precisely why I think it's so stupid to think that you're associating with "your own" when you hang out with people of the same sex.


So if we acknowledge differences-- for instance that a group of men will tend to share certain traits or abilities that are more predominantly 'male' than 'female' (even if those traits are more socially constructed than biologically determined)-- then men getting together and expressing their 'maleness' doesn't have to be malignant.

That's a big "if."


Like I say, as long as it isn't guys getting together to point out women's 'flaws,' what's the problem with it? Moreover, isn't saying "male spaces" or "female spaces" or "gay spaces" or "straight spaces" (not exclusionary locations, but circumstantial places where male or female or gay or straight people happen to have congregated) are illegitimate a denial of people's freedom of association?
You seem to have me confused with somebody else. I'm not remotely interested in stopping anybody from choosing who they hang out with. I just said that I, personally, find it annoying when people engage in sexism and gendered segregation.

I never said I wanted to prevent anybody from associating with whomever they chose. I simply think it's annoying when people think that maleness or femaleness is a good criterion to use for segregating groups, and I think it's just as annoying when gay people do it.

You mean being gay isn't a character reference?!


Humans are pack animals, sheep really, they clump together in their sad little similar packs and ostracize anyone else. Any outsiders who share their traits is automatically accepted without resistance and all others are reviled.

Sooner people realize that those instincts are stupid the better.

You collaborated and submitted well, I do have to give you that.
Oh gimme a break. Now if a gay dude talks to the straights he's a "collaborator"?

Fass, you're not that special. Gay people aren't any different from straight people, so a gay person talking to straight people isn't anything to write home about. Chill.

Of course you don't, I did remark that it was ingratiating.

You collaborated and submitted well, I do have to give you that.

Fag fight!

*runs into church, interrupting a service*

Fag fight!

*runs into the local grocery store, talks over PA*

Attention shoppers, outside today we have fag fight... Fag fight outside!

Of course you don't, I did remark that it was ingratiating.

You collaborated and submitted well, I do have to give you that.

*Shrugs*

Perhaps I'd feel insulted if I really cared about you thought. Fact of the matter is, no matter how much better you like using derision, sarcasm, and acid comments to denounce homophobia, it has been my experience as a long-standing volunteer worker that honest information and authenticity goes a much longer way towards fighting it and obtaining results. Sure, spewing contempt and caustic remarks might feel great, but it accomplishes little. At least compared to what you can accomplish with other means.

I chose my enemy, I got to know and understand how my enemy thinks and works, I derived the best way to fight it effectively. In other words, I choose my weapons based on their effectiveness, not on their style.

Piss and moan about me being ingratiating and mellow and weak and submissive all you like, the fact of the matter is I'm dirtying my hands in order to accomplish things faster and better. And I'm not even having to go through great lengths to accomplish it. I don't feel the need to face hate with hate, I don't feel the need to answer insults by insults. Let me tell you about a little anecdote:

Some weeks ago, I was on the bus with a date, heading home after an evening together. His stop arrives, and I kiss him goodnight before he steps down. A few seconds later, I start to hear jeering and insults from the back of the bus. Now, what would you have done? I'll tell you what I did.

I turned around, and started asking the guy nearest to me why he thought thought jeering me was something he could do. I told him and his 4 or 5 friends how inappropriate their behavior was, and that they couldn't expect me to just pretend like nothing was happening while they were being so disrespectful to me for no reason. You don't just start insulting strangers on the bus, I told them. Of course, at the beginning they tried to intimidate me into silence by telling me to shut up. But once they saw it was not going to happen and that I wouldn't stop telling them without any hint of uneasiness how stupid and inappropriate they were because I wouldn't let myself be intimidated, they suddenly started being very uneasy. Because I hadn't answered their challenge in a violent, confrontational manner by insulting them back or trying to intimidate them, they were left without options. And because of just how I'd reacted in a calm, firm but nonagressive manner, I also managed to make them look like sociopathic fools to the rest of the passengers of the bus. Do you know what happened then? They ended up shutting up, having not a clue what had just happened, wondering when the situation had turned from "Hey, we're verbally bullying some fag in 5 against 1 odds" to "Holy shit, now we look like idiots and it's becoming clear to us that everyone else on the bus agrees with the gay dude who's just looking us in the eye and telling us we're idiots for expecting him to shut up and take it".

[/anecdote]

So yeah, question my methods all you like, but I get results with them. Better than I'd get through confrontation and trying to bully others into accepting me or martyr myself like you sometimes do. That's all I have to say about this, really, because I want the thread to still be open to questions of other posters.

Good response, Skaladora. ;)

Is that sort of incident common or was this just an exception?

Good response, Skaladora. ;)

Is that sort of incident common or was this just an exception?
That was actually the first time in my whole life something like that happened. And that despite the fact that I routinely hold hands with, smooch, or otherwise do not refrain from having PDAs with a boyfriend/date whenever I have one.


'Course, it's always in good taste. There are things I won't do in public because it would be inappropriate.But anything I'd feel was appropriate to do with a girl, I don't stop myself from doing just because I'm with a guy.

So yeah, once in every 24 years sounds like a frequency I can live with.

So yeah, question my methods all you like, but I get results with them.

I'm sure you're thoroughly convinced thereof, and that's why your inevitable disillusionment will eventually be so effective at proving me right in the end. Spare a thought for my prediction when that happens.

*Shrugs*

Perhaps I'd feel insulted if I really cared about you thought. Fact of the matter is, no matter how much better you like using derision, sarcasm, and acid comments to denounce homophobia, it has been my experience as a long-standing volunteer worker that honest information and authenticity goes a much longer way towards fighting it and obtaining results. Sure, spewing contempt and caustic remarks might feel great, but it accomplishes little. At least compared to what you can accomplish with other means.

I chose my enemy, I got to know and understand how my enemy thinks and works, I derived the best way to fight it effectively. In other words, I choose my weapons based on their effectiveness, not on their style.

Piss and moan about me being ingratiating and mellow and weak and submissive all you like, the fact of the matter is I'm dirtying my hands in order to accomplish things faster and better. And I'm not even having to go through great lengths to accomplish it. I don't feel the need to face hate with hate, I don't feel the need to answer insults by insults. Let me tell you about a little anecdote:

Some weeks ago, I was on the bus with a date, heading home after an evening together. His stop arrives, and I kiss him goodnight before he steps down. A few seconds later, I start to hear jeering and insults from the back of the bus. Now, what would you have done? I'll tell you what I did.

I turned around, and started asking the guy nearest to me why he thought thought jeering me was something he could do. I told him and his 4 or 5 friends how inappropriate their behavior was, and that they couldn't expect me to just pretend like nothing was happening while they were being so disrespectful to me for no reason. You don't just start insulting strangers on the bus, I told them. Of course, at the beginning they tried to intimidate me into silence by telling me to shut up. But once they saw it was not going to happen and that I wouldn't stop telling them without any hint of uneasiness how stupid and inappropriate they were because I wouldn't let myself be intimidated, they suddenly started being very uneasy. Because I hadn't answered their challenge in a violent, confrontational manner by insulting them back or trying to intimidate them, they were left without options. And because of just how I'd reacted in a calm, firm but nonagressive manner, I also managed to make them look like sociopathic fools to the rest of the passengers of the bus. Do you know what happened then? They ended up shutting up, having not a clue what had just happened, wondering when the situation had turned from "Hey, we're verbally bullying some fag in 5 against 1 odds" to "Holy shit, now we look like idiots and it's becoming clear to us that everyone else on the bus agrees with the gay dude who's just looking us in the eye and telling us we're idiots for expecting him to shut up and take it".

[/anecdote]

So yeah, question my methods all you like, but I get results with them. Better than I'd get through confrontation and trying to bully others into accepting me or martyr myself like you sometimes do. That's all I have to say about this, really, because I want the thread to still be open to questions of other posters.

Why do you feel the urge to proselytize about your sexuality? What do you really accomplish?

This is what I hear: Gay men like to wear tight underwear, spandex, and thongs. Is it true? Also, how often did you have sex with your first boyfriend. Did you ever make out with him?:fluffle: How did you realize you were gay? do you think i'm gay because i like to look at naked men and swimmers in tight suits? Could you come to my school and talk. it is in wisconsin?

Why do you feel the urge to proselytize about your sexuality? What do you really accomplish?

Denouncing homophobia for what it is, fighting it with accurate information and standing up to idiots who disrespect people because they fall in love with different people is proselytizing about my sexuality now? Unless I'm not understanding your post correctly, it seems like this is what you imply.

Here I thought I was simply trying to get the respect I deserve. Which is to say, the same respect that everybody else gets.

Denouncing homophobia for what it is, fighting it with accurate information and standing up to idiots who disrespect people because they fall in love with different people is proselytizing about my sexuality now? Unless I'm not understanding your post correctly, it seems like this is what you imply.

Here I thought I was simply trying to get the respect I deserve. Which is to say, the same respect that everybody else gets.What accurate information are you talking about? And why would you waste your time on idiots? And why would you deserve respect, does respect no longer have to be earned?

Denouncing homophobia for what it is, fighting it with accurate information and standing up to idiots who disrespect people because they fall in love with different people is proselytizing about my sexuality now? Unless I'm not understanding your post correctly, it seems like this is what you imply.

Here I thought I was simply trying to get the respect I deserve. Which is to say, the same respect that everybody else gets.

I'm going with you on this one. Don't fight with UB, it's just a waste of time.

What accurate information are you talking about?

I'm talking about this very thread. Would you call this proselytizing for my sexual orientation?


And why would you waste your time on idiots?

If you'd stopped a little longer on what I wrote, you'd have understood I did what I did not for the benefit of the idiots, but rather for myself and the benefit of the other passengers of the bus, who were not idiots themselves but through my words realized how ridiculous homphobia is.


And why would you deserve respect, does respect no longer have to be earned?
Unless you don't live in society, respect is something you extend to everyone. Insulting people freely is not acceptable behavior. Manifestations of hate and/or violence, physical or verbal or otherwise, are not allowed in the rules we set for ourselves. In other words, I'm not talking about the sort of respect in which you admire someone or his/her achievements or qualities, but rather of respect as understood in the way you act. You behave in a respectful manner towards others, because you expect others to behave in a respectful manner towards you.

This kind of respect doesn't have to be earned: it's extended by default. Of course, it can be lost if you do not follow the basic rules of politeness and don't respect the other individuals in front of you.

I'm talking about this very thread. Would you call this proselytizing for my sexual orientation?Considering the thread title, yes. It sounds almost like a challenge.

If you'd stopped a little longer on what I wrote, you'd have understood I did what I did not for the benefit of the idiots, but rather for myself and the benefit of the other passengers of the bus, who were not idiots themselves but through my words realized how ridiculous homphobia is.Oh please, we're not living in the 50ies anymore.

Unless you don't live in society, respect is something you extend to everyone. Insulting people freely is not acceptable behavior. Manifestations of hate and/or violence, physical or verbal or otherwise, are not allowed in the rules we set for ourselves. In other words, I'm not talking about the sort of respect in which you admire someone or his/her achievements or qualities, but rather of respect as understood in the way you act. You behave in a respectful manner towards others, because you expect others to behave in a respectful manner towards you.

This kind of respect doesn't have to be earned: it's extended by default. Of course, it can be lost if you do not follow the basic rules of politeness and don't respect the other individuals in front of you.Politeness has nothing to do with respect. Doesn't respect require to actually know the person you respect?

Considering the thread title, yes. It sounds almost like a challenge.

Offering to answer questions is a challenge now? I'll leave it at that.


Oh please, we're not living in the 50ies anymore.

Indeed we're not. Weird how I still got jeered at by perfect strangers on the bus anyway. It's precisely to give them a nice little "Welcome to 2007, where difference isn't cause for disrespect anymore!" pat on the shoulder that I did what I did.


Politeness has nothing to do with respect. Doesn't respect require to actually know the person you respect?
Politeness = showing respect/behaving in a respectful way.

Anyway.

I don't know that we can get to see eye to eye on the matter, but at worse it's devolving in a debate about terminology, which is a bit far from my main intent with this thread, namely to answer the questions people ask me, so I'll leave it at that and wait for more questions, or the thread to sink into obscurity if nobody has anything left to ask.

Offering to answer questions is a challenge now?Yes. It's a lot like all those threads by religious nutjobs we've seen here over the years. You know, like "Ask a Christian", "Ask a Muslim", "Ask a whatever", and now its "Ask a homosexual". What answers do you really have to offer that we wouldn't already expect you to give from the get-go? What is there that the public doesn't already know? I mean, homosexuality is not particularly new.