NationStates Jolt Archive

Just got back from the psychiatrist today. had to promise him not to kill myself tonight. :mad:

Damn right i'm suicidal. With everything from being forced to work against my will to the selfish women of today.... *grumbles*

So, how close have people here been to suicide?

Very.

Careful with the anti-depressants, they sometimes push you over the edge.

Never really been suicidal before.

I have been at various times before. The saying that suicide is "a permanent solution to a temporary problem" does help me stay clear of such thoughts now but not completely

Very.

Careful with the anti-depressants, they sometimes push you over the edge.
It's ridiculous.
"Oh, you're depressed, hmm, that may lead to suicide, here take these anti-depressants."
"Warning: Anti-depressants may increase the rate of suicide."
What the fuck is with anti-depressants? A side-effect is an increased rate of suicide? Not even a chance to drop dead from allergic reaction, an increased chance of independently killing oneself. What the fuck?

Closest I've ever been to suicide is convincing others not to commit it.

I have never been tired of life, only its current state of affairs.

So nope, can't say I have felt suicidal.

I've never been suicidal. I've always been willing to ride it out and see where it takes me.

I've briefly considered it at very bad points in my life. I can think of a handful off the top of my head.

But I don't think I've ever seriously considered it.

I do find it disturbing the amount of peolpe on NSG who are suicidal however.

I have had the idea come up in the past, and I already know for a fact that it will be the way I die. I'm fine with acknowledging that the way I die will be by my hand. I think that it gives me compleate control of my life: to know that I will only die when I allow myself to. I don't want to live to be 70, so I'm fine knowing that I'll die early. Just when I die will be something I'll find out when I get there.


Its not even a suicidal thing, its just that I prefer that rather than living old or having to worry about dying in an accident. I never drive with my seatbelt on because I never worry about it. If I die, I die. Its no big deal to me, to be honest with you.

I'm on anti depressants and i have a psychiatrist and a counselor and life still sucks :headbang:

I do find it disturbing the amount of peolpe on NSG who are suicidal however.

Really? I don't think there are a disproportionate number of people on NS who've contemplated suicide, I think people are just more willing to admit it in an anonymous format like this.

I have had the idea come up in the past, and I already know for a fact that it will be the way I die. I'm fine with acknowledging that the way I die will be by my hand. I think that it gives me compleate control of my life: to know that I will only die when I allow myself to. I don't want to live to be 70, so I'm fine knowing that I'll die early. Just when I die will be something I'll find out when I get there.


Its not even a suicidal thing, its just that I prefer that rather than living old or having to worry about dying in an accident. I never drive with my seatbelt on because I never worry about it. If I die, I die. Its no big deal to me, to be honest with you.
And if you don't die, but instead become a quadriplegic with chronic health problems someone's tax dollars will be there to take care of you.

I'm on anti depressants and i have a psychiatrist and a counselor and life still sucks :headbang:

Then you're doing it wrong.

http://i2.tinypic.com/6bd9tfo.jpg

I've never really felt suicidal. I once considered it to prove a point, but stopped moments later when I realised I wouldn't get to experience the positive outcomes.

Generally speaking, I support people's freedom to end their lives when they no longer wish to live them.

I've never really considered it, rather stress and unhappiness tends to drive me to the drink, rather than depression.

Yes, and have attempted it, but that was several years ago. Now I hardly even think about it.

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it. :)

Eh, I'm just depressed.

Listen to Hatebreed. Now.

I recommend the album "Supremacy".

It's getting worse for me..

I use to get depressed on Sundays, because I wasn't around many people. But now it's just constant stress and depression. Today alone I've probably thought about killing myself 400 times. :(

It's getting to that point where I'm just begging for some magical pill to cure me.

I have never been suicidal though I have no qualms with reading about it or putting it into my writing.

That sucks, ruffy. :(

Beware of those who say "there's light at the end of the tunnel", cuz it's not the end of the tunnel. It's just an oncoming train.

Just got back from the psychiatrist today. had to promise him not to kill myself tonight. :mad:

Damn right i'm suicidal. With everything from being forced to work against my will to the selfish women of today.... *grumbles*

So, how close have people here been to suicide?

Extremely close once, during a bout of serious depression.
Sorry to hear that you're suicidal. I hope that something can distract you from any problems that cause it.

@The_pantless_depression:
Anti-depressants can give you enough energy and thus the will to commit suicide before they actually help with the depression.
Most people in depression lack the motivation to commit suicide but not the desire; give them the motivation before curing the depression and you can guess what happens.

Listen to Hatebreed. Now.

I recommend the album "Supremacy".

In fact, download it if you have to. If you need help, telegram me.

Just got back from the psychiatrist today. had to promise him not to kill myself tonight. :mad:

Damn right i'm suicidal.
OK, well you might feel awful, but stewing up the problem and getting riled about things is probably the worst way to sort it out - if you need to drink yourself into oblivion then so be it - better to have you liver messed up for a night then to kill yourself.
With everything from being forced to work against my will#
Go on the dole, then.
to the selfish women of today.... *grumbles*
Go and get a shag if need be, I'm sure there are plenty of prostitutes around in your town, and you sound a lot like you need some sex in your life.
So, how close have people here been to suicide?
Astonishingly close, to be honest, because I get seasonally affected manic depression, and that, combined with several crises at that time ongoing in my life at the time, I nearly killed myself in December 2005, before rethinking it.

Never felt suicidal, but I did feel that nothign was worth it. Feel that way right now really... :(

I don't have anythign to do except band and writing, and that's pretty much all I can do. Not that anyone cares, of course. I don't want everyone worrying about me every second, but at least act like you care when I actually say something... nobody wants to listen, absolutely nobody, and when I finally stop pretending to not know they get worried. Then I'll tell them what's wrong and they won't listen, they'll just blame me for them not listening. Or call me stupid.

Bleh, I've felt worthless and totally alone for years now.

It's getting to that point where I'm just begging for some magical pill to cure me.They won't cure you, but antidepressants can help.

Astonishingly close, to be honest, because I get seasonally affected manic depression, and that, combined with several crises at that time ongoing in my life at the time, I nearly killed myself in December 2005, before rethinking it.

It is amazing how little things combine at bad times to become big things.

The Samaritans are a great help too if things get really bad. I took a two week course with them in January and they were such nice people. They're like the nicest grandparents (they were mostly retired) i've ever met and they make people feel so at ease

Not any more. I attempted it several times in the past, though.

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it. :)What if your death depended on it? ;)

Is it just me, or is the majority of people on NS depressed, or athiest? That's a strange little trend I'm seeing, though I'm not sure they're related... I wouldn't know, I'm neither.

for a while from about age 10-12 i felt pretty suicidal. never attempted anything though. i occaisionally get something of a death-wish when i feel really down though, putting myself in dangerous situations deliberately but without even thinking about it properly. after a few near misses i usually snap out of it.

Is it just me, or is the majority of people on NS depressed, or athiest? That's a strange little trend I'm seeing, though I'm not sure they're related... I wouldn't know, I'm neither.

Depressed people have lots of time for internet fora ;)
And getting depressed as atheist is easy if you live in a nation filled with christians - from the atheist perspective it can after all be seen as equivalent to living amongst insane people.

Is it just me, or is the majority of people on NS depressed, or athiest? That's a strange little trend I'm seeing, though I'm not sure they're related... I wouldn't know, I'm neither.

The Samaritans was set up by a priest for his congregation I believe

I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it. :)

Finally! a one-liner! :D

*Sigs*

I feel like killing myself....quick, to the intertubes!

I feel like killing myself....quick, to the intertubes!

:rolleyes:

my sister has it in her head that i want to do myself in

how dose wanting to shot others in the family turn into you want to do your self in

I feel like killing myself....quick, to the intertubes!

This time, it is a series of tubes.

:rolleyes:

:rolleyes:

. . .

:fluffle:

I have been very close to the edge. Over a couple of years, I increasingly broke down, and eventually became very suicidal. Where it not for the strength of the anxiety, I'd probably have ended up pulling it off. The years following, as I moved and had a better if still not all too good time, my response to being pushed towards the edge shifted from being directed inwards to the opposite. In other words, nowdays, when pushed far enough, rather than becoming depressed I get increasingly snappy.

Is it just me, or is the majority of people on NS depressed, or athiest? That's a strange little trend I'm seeing, though I'm not sure they're related... I wouldn't know, I'm neither.At the time I was the most severely depressed, I had a mix of Christian and new-ageish beliefs. Nowdays, at my strongest (and were it not for the gradual seasonal wear-down that I will soon have the chance to recover from - healthiest) ever, I have no faith, though I remain agnostic. Skeptically so. Technically, I fit both descriptions - atheist and agnostic.

Technically, I fit both descriptions - atheist and agnostic.

So you're an "Eh, maybe," case?

Life is far too silly to consider ending.

Most of life's problems seem to go away when you take yourself a little less seriously.

Life is ridiculous and hilarious. Laugh at it.

:rolleyes:

. . .

:fluffle:

:fluffle:

Doesn't make me feel much better. :(

:fluffle:

Doesn't make me feel much better. :(

Why?

.*pokes AIM/MSN/whatev*

:(

Why?

.*pokes AIM/MSN/whatev*

:(

Just feel invisible.. kind of worthless... felt that way for a long time though...

I have far too much pride to seriously consider suicide. My life is a powerful tool that can be put to a lot of use if I can work out how to do it; to throw it away is to give up and deprive everyone else of what it might be capable of.

The same is probably true of most people thinking about topping themselves. Seriously, don't give up on life. If it gets hard, fight to make it better for yourself and for others, because it can make a world of difference to someone else to have you there to lend a helping hand.

So you're an "Eh, maybe," case?I find the idea of deities quite ridiculous - not impossible, but so improbable as to be wholly irrelevant in practice. Same goes for very many of the more concretely defined religious beliefs.

However, I find the existence of things far beyond our current understanding of existence and now regarded as supernatural (and not truly understood) in a wider sense significantly more probable. Once baseless assumptions are made and faith formed, though, things quickly slide towards the absurdly improbable.

Just feel invisible.. kind of worthless... felt that way for a long time though...
Ah, world-weariness. I had that at your age. Which wasn't that long ago, to be fair.

Just remember what you have around you, your friends, even those on NSG, and think about how much better you're doing than a lot of other people, and the whole thing ends in a few months.

Hope you get better soon, mind.

...

You say something, Pancake?


lol

Life is far too silly to consider ending.

Most of life's problems seem to go away when you take yourself a little less seriously.

Life is ridiculous and hilarious. Laugh at it.

September 11th was hilarious? July 7 was ridiculous?
A family member's death will go away?

I have been very close to it. Ilaer's (I think) point about motivation is spot on - I couldn't work out how to go without incurring an IHT bill for my partner, and that was enough of a mountain to sort out to delay me. I can also endorse the Samaritans heartily.

kind of off topic - To the women: I suffered depression several times throughout my life, but the darkest pit was triggered by a hormonal contraceptive. If your doctor ever recommends depo provera and you have suffered from depression, please think very very carefully about it. It takes a long time (at least a year) to get our of your system after an adverse reaction.

Ah, world-weariness. I had that at your age. Which wasn't that long ago, to be fair.

Just remember what you have around you, your friends, even those on NSG, and think about how much better you're doing than a lot of other people, and the whole thing ends in a few months.

Hope you get better soon, mind.

I will, once I get out of this stupid town. I didn't feel worthless or invisible until I moved here.

Finally! a one-liner! :D

*Sigs*

YAY! :D

I've been getting sigged a lot less than I used to be lately. I have a quota to maintain. :)

I will, once I get out of this stupid town. I didn't feel worthless or invisible until I moved here.
:(

Things should pick up quite a bit when you get a little older - tragically, you can't drink in most states until you're 21 and smoke until you're 18, or so I believe, so that's two ways to cheer yourself up legally out of the window.

I've been suicidal (mostly in my early to mid 20's). When life seems so hopelessly painful that you wish for it to end... what I've always found later after a deep depression is that I was glad I didn't end it.

I sometimes feel that Darknovae and Fleckenstein are exactly the same people :eek:

:(

Things should pick up quite a bit when you get a little older - tragically, you can't drink in most states until you're 21 and smoke until you're 18, or so I believe, so that's two ways to cheer yourself up legally out of the window. Well, band's comign up i nthe fall, I got my money in for band camp :)

Don't want to drink or smoke anyway, both my parents smoke and i have no desire to be drunk.

I sometimes feel that Darknovae and Fleckenstein are exactly the same people :eek:

why? :confused:

I have attempted a few times, once I was just bored and tired of being depressed, didn't really make an earnest effort, the other time I really did try....would have been successful too if it weren't for those meddling roommates.


feeling pretty down today, don't really have the time or inclination to kill myself though, it would only hurt the people that love me (although they are few, they are more important to me than anything else right now)

hubby will be home soon, which means that I can rant for a while, get a massage, and a bubble bath and watch something idiotic and cry....that sounds more appealing than ending it all, at least then I might get some ice cream.

I sometimes feel that Darknovae and Fleckenstein are exactly the same people :eek:

hello!!

Never have been really. I live a rather content life.

It's ridiculous.
"Oh, you're depressed, hmm, that may lead to suicide, here take these anti-depressants."
"Warning: Anti-depressants may increase the rate of suicide."
What the fuck is with anti-depressants? A side-effect is an increased rate of suicide? Not even a chance to drop dead from allergic reaction, an increased chance of independently killing oneself. What the fuck?

Anti-depressants are catchy.

First, you may kill yourself because you realize you may have to take them your entire life.
Second, you may stop using them for a bit because "you feel fine" and then go into an even more depressive state than before taking them.
Third, you may get a maniac episode, feel incredible, cured, wonderfull, supreme, see how life could be, and after 2 weeks it ends and you go back to being depressive. The bump is too much and you cant handle it.
Fourth, it may not work and you may believe nothing else can save you.
Fifth, you may feel like you´re "fucking crazy" and feel its not worth it.

As you can see, medication may help your hormones, but it doesnt help much your mind.

It's getting worse for me..

I use to get depressed on Sundays, because I wasn't around many people. But now it's just constant stress and depression. Today alone I've probably thought about killing myself 400 times. :(

It's getting to that point where I'm just begging for some magical pill to cure me.

ruffy, are you talking to a professional about this?

why? :confused:

Not sure. You are just so similar.

Not sure. You are just so similar.

Wha?

hello!!

yoyo

Is it just me, or is the majority of people on NS depressed, or athiest? That's a strange little trend I'm seeing, though I'm not sure they're related... I wouldn't know, I'm neither.

I´m not depressed, but I am an atheist, and I can assure you that doesnt make me happy. I´m pretty sure I would be way more happy if I believed in religion.

But the deal is that I cant. I feel much better knowing the truth than believing in something that I dont that could make me feel better.

hello!!

hi! :fluffle:

I use to consider suicide a lot, but my only "attempt" was half-hearted and (obviously) a rather complete failure.
I haven't seriously thought about suicide in a couple years, but sometimes I get so stressed or frustrated that I start considering killing someone else and going on the run. Functionally, it is the same thing: all of this life's problems, benefits and responsibilities are lost forever.

I have felt suicidal at several points in my life, the most major one I did not have the motivation to do it, as Ilaer said. Since then I've had several severe episodes and, more generally, have persistant thoughts about death (like, when walking by a road with oncoming traffic and thinking what would it be like to walk out infront of one of them), but I have a way of thinking myself out of it.

Basically, I just consider how I felt after my friend died (sudden but not suicide) and come easily to the conclusion that I cannot under any circumstances subject those I care about to that, my own hatred of myself and life does not come above their feelings and well-being, even if sometimes I do not believe there is anyone that cares about me.

I think, normally, my thoughts during it aren't, 'I want to kill myself', its more like having no preference whether I wake up again after going to sleep. I dunno if others understand that distinction.

hi! :fluffle:

:fluffle: hi

ruffy, are you talking to a professional about this?

Nope. But I'm thinking about it. Who do I go to? My doctor?

Explain how we're similar.

And note the new sig line. ;)

Nope. But I'm thinking about it. Who do I go to? My doctor?

yeah, go to your doctor, you can tell your parents you are having "personal issues" and then tell your doctor, either he will be able to help you or he can refer you to someone who can.

when you get really really really down, you can always call the suicide hotline whether you want to kill yourself right then or not, they will listen and talk to you.

1-800-SUICIDE

and the one I used to work for

1-800-273-TALK

they are free calls and they are there 24/7, it's a good service, they are really there just to listen and help you.

Explain how we're similar.

And note the new sig line. ;)

I'm not sure. I may be comepletely wrong about this. But arn't you both around 15 and converted atheists. This is only but one factor. I generally feel that your posting style is the same.

Nope. But I'm thinking about it. Who do I go to? My doctor?

yes. your doctor can either work with you himself or make you an appointment with someone who can. this is the best way if you would get treatment covered by insurance.

or you can give a quick call to the local suicide hotline. i know it seems silly if you dont have a bottle of pills in your hand but they have info on who is best to make an appointment with. if you dont have insurance, there are places in your area that charge on a sliding scale.

or you can talk to the councillor at school. she will go into a complete panic but she will get something done.

hating life sucks. if you can get help to have it not be a burden, it would be a good thing.

Explain how we're similar.

And note the new sig line. ;)

>.>

<.<

Surely Mom and Dad didn't tell you about it?

(also, feeling much better after playing my flute a little... music=happiness :D)

Never considered it, but like someone said early, if I die, I die. I never wear my seatbelt or a helmet, don't look both ways, or any of that little shit. I'll let God or karma or fate or whatever twisted force that rules the world decide how and when I die.

I'm not sure. I may be comepletely wrong about this. But arn't you both around 15 and converted atheists. This is only but one factor. I generally feel that your posting style is the same.

Fleck is 17... i think...

I'm not sure. I may be comepletely wrong about this. But arn't you both around 15 and converted atheists. This is only but one factor. I generally feel that your posting style is the same.

I'm 17 and Catholic.

>.>

<.<

Surely Mom and Dad didn't tell you about it?

(also, feeling much better after playing my flute a little... music=happiness :D)

Two years of labor for twins? Wow. :p

(music always = happiness)

Just got back from the psychiatrist today. had to promise him not to kill myself tonight. :mad:

Damn right i'm suicidal. With everything from being forced to work against my will to the selfish women of today.... *grumbles*

So, how close have people here been to suicide?
Contemplating it - yes.
Often - yes.
Planning - no.
Trying - no.
Very.
Careful with the anti-depressants, they sometimes push you over the edge.
It's ridiculous.
"Oh, you're depressed, hmm, that may lead to suicide, here take these anti-depressants."
"Warning: Anti-depressants may increase the rate of suicide."
What the fuck is with anti-depressants? A side-effect is an increased rate of suicide? Not even a chance to drop dead from allergic reaction, an increased chance of independently killing oneself. What the fuck?
Because if you're heavily depressed you don't have the strength to do anything.
Anti-depressants change that and give you some strength - some chose to use that little power to take themselves out. :(
I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it. :)
Hehe.

As for the feelings I carry around with myself lately:

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/Rage.jpg
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/ChemicalImbalance.jpg
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/Depression.jpg
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/WishfulThinking.jpg
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/Frustration.jpg

So I know exactly how you feel. (Although, scratch the last one. I'm not that frustrated any more. But I'm back on that track in no time, I guess.)

I'm 17 and Catholic.

hmmm...

your still the same god damnit!!! it's just more complex. Maybe you're twins?

hmmm...

your still the same god damnit!!! it's just more complex. Maybe you're twins?

he's two years older...

(and btw fleck, apparently we are siblings ;))

he's two years older...

(and btw fleck, apparently we are siblings ;))

That throws an odd wrench into things doesn't it? :p

Two years of labor for twins? Wow. :p

(music always = happiness)

Not twins, precisely... :p

And yes, music=:fluffle:

>.>

<.<

Surely Mom and Dad didn't tell you about it?

(also, feeling much better after playing my flute a little... music=happiness :D)

err

I use to consider suicide a lot, but my only "attempt" was half-hearted and (obviously) a rather complete failure.
I haven't seriously thought about suicide in a couple years, but sometimes I get so stressed or frustrated that I start considering killing someone else and going on the run. Functionally, it is the same thing: all of this life's problems, benefits and responsibilities are lost forever.

I once didn't care if I died or not, though I wasn't suicidal. I couldn't kill myself though... that's scary. But I do feel invisible and worthless, and I have contemplated runnign away.... tried it once, didn't work. I wasn't really goign anywhere really... didn't even pack anything...

he's two years older...

(and btw fleck, apparently we are siblings ;))

Siblins, that makes sence. Siblings who are also very similar.

I once didn't care if I died or not, though I wasn't suicidal. I couldn't kill myself though... that's scary. But I do feel invisible and worthless, and I have contemplated runnign away.... tried it once, didn't work. I wasn't really goign anywhere really... didn't even pack anything...

Buy the train ticket to Philly and Ruffy and I will pick you up at 30th Street Station.

err

Sudden change of mood wasn't it?

...yeah, people have asked me if I was bipolar... I'm not...

Buy the train ticket to Philly and Ruffy and I will pick you up at 30th Street Station.

There aren't any trains until I get to DC, that's four hours away...

I have no way to get out of here. :(

There aren't any trains until I get to DC, that's four hours away...

I have no way to get out of here. :(

There are no trains in the Carolinas? I'm pretty sure the Union army left some the last time we were there. . .:p

Sudden change of mood wasn't it?

...yeah, people have asked me if I was bipolar... I'm not...

no just watch American pie

An uncle of mine got really depressed a couple of years ago, and tried to do it (repeatedly) and missed it (always repeatedly). There was always a friend, or a member of his family (once I was even here) in his vicinity, and I can't help but think that he made sure there was someone to bring him back: I mean, he could not be that clumsy, could he?
All he did was: to get everybody all panicky and worried and guilty because we really tried to cheer him up during his depression (guess we did not succeed, but he took some medication and that did not work either), all along he got surgeries and stomach aches (some pills he took to "end it").
But jokes apart, I think he was trying to send us alerts, or perhaps to punish himself and that he did not really want to end it, otherwise why should he have made sure there was someone to find and rescue him just in time?
And by the way, he has gotten loads better now and he is making plans again, so it seemed suicide was just a phase. But the other people involved still recall what happened and when they see his three lovely children, they feel very uneasy bout it.
If I had an advice for those who toyed with the idea: forget it right now, it'll save you (and your people) a lot of trouble and awkward conversation.

I've been increasingly suicidal for a few years. In fact, for a couple of years I haven't gotten much ahead in my education, since I can't concentrate on anything except on thinking about killing myself. Earlier, I was normal most of the time, but used to get sudden episodes, that lasted for a day or two, and during which I could do nothing but sit still and scream curse words in my mind. These days, that is my defaut emotion, and the breaks from it are few, far between, and usually alcohol-induced.

I have never actually tried it, partly because I don't want to cause sorrow to my family members, and I like to maintain delusions that some day life might suck just a little bit less, and because I just don't give a fuck, but mostly because I'm too much of a wuss to do it. I do harm myself sometimes, though: Just a couple of weeks ago I struck myself in the chest with a knife rather hard in a sudden burst of rage and despair. I bled a lot, and it's going to leave an ugly scar, but I don't think it had a real chance of killing me.

It's not the sucking of life that gets me depressed; it's the knowledge that it will never stop sucking, and that things can only get worse. I hate life, and I couldn't care less if I dropped dead right now. My reaction to news about other people dying varies between indifference and joy. The death of children cheers me up the most, because I feel happy for them. The younger you die, the less you have to suffer from life.

I've never gotten therapy or medication, and I haven't seriously considered them. They might give me a false feeling of not being a total piece of shit, but they wouldn't do anything to the actual causes of my depression. So what's the point?

Well, band's comign up i nthe fall, I got my money in for band camp :)
(also, feeling much better after playing my flute a little... music=happiness :D)
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/Michelle-AmericanPie.jpg
"This one time, at band camp..."

There are no trains in the Carolinas? I'm pretty sure the Union army left some the last time we were there. . .:p
The GreyHound stops in NC. I know. I've used it.

There are no trains in the Carolinas? I'm pretty sure the Union army left some the last time we were there. . .:p Not around here....
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/Michelle-AmericanPie.jpg
"This one time, at band camp..."
:headbang: That is the reason why I hate American Pie, without ever watching it.

The GreyHound stops in NC. I know. I've used it.

Not anywhere in my county...

Not around here....

:headbang: That is the reason why I hate American Pie, without ever watching it.
You'd hate me even more if I had quoted more than half the sentence...

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/Michelle-AmericanPie.jpg
"This one time, at band camp..."

yes that what pop into my head when i read that post

Not around here....

:headbang: That is the reason why I hate American Pie, without ever watching it.
Oh so closed minded. :p

My daughter has twice taken an overdose. Sitting in the hospital with her was one of the hardest things I have ever done. She is getting help and feels way better about herself and life in general. Almost a year ago, a very very dear friend of mine got out of his bed, drove to his work at 4am and hung himself. He left behind a wife, a 9 year old son and a 6 month daughter. I can't tell you the devastation that his actions have caused, I am sure that if he is looking down now, that he would regret what he did. I have only considered suicide myself once, this was after finding my dad in bed with a man who then called me a whore and all manner of other lovely things, without my Dad doing one damn thing to defend me. I came home that night and if it wasn't for my kids, I would have. In the morning, I was glad that I didn't, even though my heart was broken, and I was lower and more depressed than I could imagine. I am glad right now too that I didn't, people love me, I love them. I am a fucking wonderful human being and I am glad to be alive. I am glad that all of you are alive too.

yes that what pop into my head when i read that post
It did here, too. We're all rotten to the core!!!
Oh so closed minded. :p
Aw, let her return from band camp first... :eek:

By the way, I'm glad you can at least talk about your feelings and your situation. That's already a step into the right direction. http://www.section.at/img/smiley/troest.gif

I am a fucking wonderful human being and I am glad to be alive.
I am glad that all of you are alive too.
I think everyone needs to repeatedly repeat that part!!! http://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/kuscheln.gif

I think everyone needs to repeatedly repeat that part!!! http://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/kuscheln.gif

I'm afraid I cannot say the first sentence and truly believe in it.

September 11th was hilarious? July 7 was ridiculous?
A family member's death will go away?

Eight straight year of hearing that you were ugly, stupid, worthless is silliness? Eight straight years of only having two talents is hilarious?

I'm afraid I cannot say the first sentence and truly believe in it.

Same here.

Just got back from the psychiatrist today. had to promise him not to kill myself tonight. :mad:

Damn right i'm suicidal. With everything from being forced to work against my will to the selfish women of today.... *grumbles*

So, how close have people here been to suicide?

You really need to address that misogyny problem.. I was almost suicidal once. I remember trying to stab my arm with a pencil.

Eight straight year of hearing that you were ugly, stupid, worthless is silliness? Eight straight years of only having two talents is hilarious?

I believe this has been the first time the internets have moved me to semi-tears.

... Because if you're heavily depressed you don't have the strength to do anything.
Anti-depressants change that and give you some strength - some chose to use that little power to take themselves out. :( ...

Apparently people no longer read my posts, although Bewilder did.

Extremely close once, during a bout of serious depression.
Sorry to hear that you're suicidal. I hope that something can distract you from any problems that cause it.

@The_pantless_hero:
Anti-depressants can give you enough energy and thus the will to commit suicide before they actually help with the depression.
Most people in depression lack the motivation to commit suicide but not the desire; give them the motivation before curing the depression and you can guess what happens.

Same here.

Same here...

coz i'm not a woman

I believe this has been the first time the internets have moved me to semi-tears.

I gotta agree with you on this one, man.

Eight straight year of hearing that you were ugly, stupid, worthless is silliness? Eight straight years of only having two talents is hilarious?

I have endured those and more.

I was not promoting those views; I was questioning the person whom I quoted, who was saying that people should not take themselves so seriously and that life was ridiculous and hilarious and that problems went away.

I disagree with that majorly. As I said earlier, I have been in serious depression before in my life, several times in fact, and have come close to suicide.

You really need to address that misogyny problem.. I was almost suicidal once. I remember trying to stab my arm with a pencil.

We've been over this before JBG.

coz i'm not a woman

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?

She was a woman. :D

I believe this has been the first time the internets have moved me to semi-tears.

Well, it's true. :(

I think about it all the time.

I gotta agree with you on this one, man.

:(

Phoo... wow. This is one screwed up world we live in, eh?

At any rate, since I don't intend to punch my own pail, I'll be around here to offer trite and obviously unhelpful words of wisdom.

I think about it all the time.

Sometimes I think about death- not suicide, but death. Other times I contemplate running away.

Just got back from the psychiatrist today. had to promise him not to kill myself tonight. :mad:

Damn right i'm suicidal. With everything from being forced to work against my will to the selfish women of today.... *grumbles*

So, how close have people here been to suicide?

This close: {}. However I figure this: if you kill youself you die a coward, if someone else kills you you die a hero...so...join the military!

I'm afraid I cannot say the first sentence and truly believe in it.
Same here.
That's why I said repeat repeatedly - until you actually believe it!!!

Positive thinking, eh? One needs to do it to make it work!
Apparently people no longer read my posts, although Bewilder did.
Sorry, Ilaer.

Yes, you've said the same. Let my post serve to support your post.

That's why I said repeat repeatedly - until you actually believe it!!!

Positive thinking, eh? One needs to do it to make it work!

Sorry, Ilaer.

Yes, you've said the same. Let my post serve to support your post.

It doesn't matter. I'm used to it.
I'm currently waiting for Darknovae to apologise since I detected some negative vibes from her response to my September 11th post earlier; I think she misunderstood the point of the post.

That's why I said repeat repeatedly - until you actually believe it!!!

Positive thinking, eh? One needs to do it to make it work!

That would just be self-indoctrination.

It doesn't matter. I'm used to it.
I'm currently waiting for Darknovae to apologise since I detected some negative vibes from her response to my September 11th post earlier; I think she misunderstood the point of the post.

:(

I wasn't really responding to your post... i was replying to the other person's... it wasn't directed at your post at all... :(

:(

I wasn't really responding to your post... i was replying to the other person's... it wasn't directed at your post at all... :(

In that case, I sincerely apologise. I assumed it was directed at me since it was my post which was quoted.
Friends? *sticks out a hand hopefully to shake*

Sometimes I think about death- not suicide, but death. Other times I contemplate running away.

Well. I suppose it's the same for me. It's just that a very large majority of my thinking about death is contemplating suicide.

Just got back from the psychiatrist today. had to promise him not to kill myself tonight. :mad:

Damn right i'm suicidal. With everything from being forced to work against my will to the selfish women of today.... *grumbles*

So, how close have people here been to suicide?

don't do it TPE... i like you :) :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: see? fluffles!! :fluffle:


but to answer your question, i attempted once while at uni. didn't work and i felt so stupid seconds after beginning that i stopped cutting.


some days, even these days, i still want to when i don't see anything positive in my future, or see my future as nothing but hard work for little reward, but i try not to think about it.

Well. I suppose it's the same for me. It's just that a very large majority of my thinking about death is contemplating suicide.
Suicide is a little too overboard for me.

Running away, however... I know it's not going to work out, which makes everything even worse that I have to stay here for three more years... :(

And Ilaer... why a handshake? :fluffle:

That would just be self-indoctrination.
And that is exactly why it works - just like those negative thoughts make you feel bad, good thoughts make you feel better.
don't do it TPE... i like you :) :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: see? fluffles!! :fluffle:

but to answer your question, i attempted once while at uni. didn't work and i felt so stupid seconds after beginning that i stopped cutting.

some days, even these days, i still want to when i don't see anything positive in my future, or see my future as nothing but hard work for little reward, but i try not to think about it.
And I'm really glad that you're still around, my friend! :fluffle:

And TPE? Have another one, too! :fluffle:

Suicide is a little too overboard for me.

Running away, however... I know it's not going to work out, which makes everything even worse that I have to stay here for three more years... :(

And Ilaer... why a handshake? :fluffle:

Because I'm modest even by Victorian England standards.
Meh. Who cares?
:fluffle:

Because I'm modest even by Victorian England standards.
Meh. Who cares?
:fluffle:

:fluffle:

Nice try pm, but kind words and fluffles don't work on me anymore... :(

Nice try pm, but kind words and fluffles don't work on me anymore... :(

What if they're from me? :fluffle::fluffle:

Well, it's true. :(

:( :( :( :( :( :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

Did you at least laugh at the Helen Keller joke?

What if they're from me? :fluffle::fluffle:
No, sorry. :(

:( :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

Did you at least laugh at the Helen Keller joke?

kind of. :fluffle:

No, sorry. :(

:(

What if they're from me? :fluffle::fluffle:

:fluffle:

:(

Fluffle it off. :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

Fluffle it off. :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:
Don't fluffle-spam my thread or i'll report it in moderation. :mad:

Fluffle it off. :fluffle:

Can't fluffle it off.

Naw, if I was worried about suicide I sure as hell wouldn't keep a rifle and ammo in my room. :p

Just got back from the psychiatrist today. had to promise him not to kill myself tonight. :mad:

Damn right i'm suicidal. With everything from being forced to work against my will to the selfish women of today.... *grumbles*

So, how close have people here been to suicide?


yes i have contemplated it,so you are obviously not alone in that respect.

from an older perspective,assuming you are younger.i was married and never felt negatively about life..i was always wild and out having fun until my mid 20"s,which i think is unusual as in alot of teens have severe growing pains that lead to depression and suicide.also probably all kinds of hormonal and chemical imbalances at play at that age.
myself,in my exsperiance...i was divorced,that realy hurt cause i ached for my kids so badly it was constant pain.i never thought about ending it though...i just went on a 2 year bender.
what happenned with me was as i got older,and looked around,i felt like a total loser compared to my kids friends parents.my credit is destroyed from the divorce,i got into alot of trouble with the law(2 year binge helped),after having a classified security clearance with the gov,that got revoked.
i got really bad,bad enough to sit there nite after nite with my pistol sitting in front of me,downing so much booze to get up the confidence to actually do it..but luckily passed out drunk..then awoke to be pissed at myself for even thinking about it..abandoning my kids and all.
then when they were around 10 they moved in with me permanantly...i focused my energy on them and moved on..but now my kids are out of the house,so about a year ago i started to slip into a serious depression,i resent my job,hated being alone..so i caught myself rationalisisng it again..they are grown and everything...in the mean time..i had 2 friends murdered,my mom and dad die of cancer...then my kid sister who i was really close too,died suddenly at christmass..it was almost to much to bear...but at her funeral..i was a wreck and my kids came up to the recieving line and pretty much held me up..the pain did not leave,but i realised no one is really alone,and to see the grief on my kids faces for my sister and me..snapped me out of it.
so i guess i am saying,sometimes when it seems the darkest..hold on,cause you are not alone,and things do change..if you have too call a profeessional or a hotline....life may suck now,but it can and does change..just hang on!:)


edit.
my ex and i are best friends and she helped me thru alot of things,but to me that was sometimes almost not enough..and i was alittle off even after the funeral.
but out of the blue i met a girl,and she is all i think of,we are in love and are going to marry...6 months ago i was lonely and depressed..now i am beaming,point being..if it can happen for me..it can happen for anyone...you never know what is around the next corner,and if you kil yourself you never will know..and you may deprive not only the ones that love you now of you.but potentially someone down the road that really needs you

yes i have contemplated it,so you are obviously not alone in that respect.

from an older perspective,assuming you are younger.i was married and never felt negatively about life..i was always wild and out having fun until my mid 20"s,which i think is unusual as in alot of teens have severe growing pains that lead to depression and suicide.also probably all kinds of hormonal and chemical imbalances at play at that age.
myself,in my exsperiance...i was divorced,that realy hurt cause i ached for my kids so badly it was constant pain.i never thought about ending it though...i just went on a 2 year bender.
what happenned with me was as i got older,and looked around,i felt like a total loser compared to my kids friends parents.my credit is destroyed from the divorce,i got into alot of trouble with the law(2 year binge helped),after having a classified security clearance with the gov,that got revoked.
i got really bad,bad enough to sit there nite after nite with my pistol sitting in front of me,downing so much booze to get up the confidence to actually do it..but luckily passed out drunk..then awoke to be pissed at myself for even thinking about it..abandoning my kids and all.
then when they were around 10 they moved in with me permanantly...i focused my energy on them and moved on..but now my kids are out of the house,so about a year ago i started to slip into a serious depression,i resent my job,hated being alone..so i caught myself rationalisisng it again..they are grown and everything...in the mean time..i had 2 friends murdered,my mom and dad die of cancer...then my kid sister who i was really close too,died suddenly at christmass..it was almost to much to bear...but at her funeral..i was a wreck and my kids came up to the recieving line and pretty much held me up..the pain did not leave,but i realised no one is really alone,and to see the grief on my kids faces for my sister and me..snapped me out of it.
so i guess i am saying,sometimes when it seems the darkest..hold on,cause you are not alone,and things do change..if you have too call a profeessional or a hotline....life may suck now,but it can and does change..just hang on!:)

Listening to "Castles in the Air" while reading your post makes me want to go cry and lock myself in my room for the next month.

Honestly though, I think you need to get this piece of writing published somewhere, or at least show it to other people who are depressed.

Don't fluffle-spam my thread or i'll report it in moderation. :mad:

Come on, man. If they allowed smilies in TGs, or PMs, I'd do so, by my only option is to fluffle-spam.

Can't fluffle it off.

Take a night just to sleep. Don't think about anything. Just fall into a deep sleep.

yes i have contemplated it,so you are obviously not alone in that respect.

from an older perspective,assuming you are younger.i was married and never felt negatively about life..i was always wild and out having fun until my mid 20"s,which i think is unusual as in alot of teens have severe growing pains that lead to depression and suicide.also probably all kinds of hormonal and chemical imbalances at play at that age.
myself,in my exsperiance...i was divorced,that realy hurt cause i ached for my kids so badly it was constant pain.i never thought about ending it though...i just went on a 2 year bender.
what happenned with me was as i got older,and looked around,i felt like a total loser compared to my kids friends parents.my credit is destroyed from the divorce,i got into alot of trouble with the law(2 year binge helped),after having a classified security clearance with the gov,that got revoked.
i got really bad,bad enough to sit there nite after nite with my pistol sitting in front of me,downing so much booze to get up the confidence to actually do it..but luckily passed out drunk..then awoke to be pissed at myself for even thinking about it..abandoning my kids and all.
then when they were around 10 they moved in with me permanantly...i focused my energy on them and moved on..but now my kids are out of the house,so about a year ago i started to slip into a serious depression,i resent my job,hated being alone..so i caught myself rationalisisng it again..they are grown and everything...in the mean time..i had 2 friends murdered,my mom and dad die of cancer...then my kid sister who i was really close too,died suddenly at christmass..it was almost to much to bear...but at her funeral..i was a wreck and my kids came up to the recieving line and pretty much held me up..the pain did not leave,but i realised no one is really alone,and to see the grief on my kids faces for my sister and me..snapped me out of it.
so i guess i am saying,sometimes when it seems the darkest..hold on,cause you are not alone,and things do change..if you have too call a profeessional or a hotline....life may suck now,but it can and does change..just hang on!:)

But what if you are alone... what if you've spent eight years hearing nothing but that you're ugly and stupid and worthless, and realizing you don't have any real talents that would help you in the future... and that you can't talk about it because you can't find anyoen that really cares? I can't commit suicide, but living like this for three more years is awful... the only people i can talk to are on the internet, because i have no social life otherwise...

Never really. If I got to the point where my life was a total ruin, I would 'restart' it - probably by immigrating to Israel and joining the IDF.

I used to feel suicidal, but I've largely overcome it. I no longer feel a real urge to harm myself. Largely an interest in academics is responsible for this, I guess.

I used to feel suicidal, but I've largely overcome it. I no longer feel a real urge to harm myself. Largely an interest in academics is responsible for this, I guess.

Academics is part of why I'm so depressed. A small part though.

Academics is part of why I'm so depressed. A small part though.
being forced off my lazy butt and forced to work against my free will is why I'm depressed and suicidal. :(

Academics is part of why I'm so depressed. A small part though.
It gives me something to stimulate my mind with, thus channeling away any negative thoughts into something constructive and more tangible in some ways. By academics I don't mean university coursework and such, but rather pursuit of knowledge in general.

being forced off my lazy butt and forced to work against my free will is why I'm depressed and suicidal. :(
I detest the idea of doing work, but once I actually get down to it I get quite involved.

It gives me something to stimulate my mind with, thus channeling away any negative thoughts into something constructive and more tangible in some ways. By academics I don't mean university coursework and such, but rather pursuit of knowledge in general.

Oh... knowledge... I thought you were talkign about school. Sadly school is just part of the problem...

Oh... knowledge... I thought you were talkign about school. Sadly school is just part of the problem...
Academics narrowly defined as university work can get on my nerves at times, but like I said before once I put some effort into it I get motivated.

I'm 17 and Catholic.

The parallels are shocking. Perhaps this is some sort of triad conspiracy.

But what if you are alone... what if you've spent eight years hearing nothing but that you're ugly and stupid and worthless, and realizing you don't have any real talents that would help you in the future... and that you can't talk about it because you can't find anyoen that really cares? I can't commit suicide, but living like this for three more years is awful... the only people i can talk to are on the internet, because i have no social life otherwise...

Damnit, you get happy now before I'm worsened on this end. :fluffle:

The fact that I have no one to truly unload to is weighing down on me.

Just got back from the psychiatrist today. had to promise him not to kill myself tonight. :mad:

Damn right i'm suicidal. With everything from being forced to work against my will to the selfish women of today.... *grumbles*

So, how close have people here been to suicide?

I've tried twice.

The parallels are shocking. Perhaps this is some sort of triad conspiracy.

Come again?

I had to do that one time, do the whole "sign here that you won't off yourself" thing. Seems to work, as I'm still here.

Never felt suicidal, but I did feel that nothign was worth it. Feel that way right now really... :(

I don't have anythign to do except band and writing, and that's pretty much all I can do. Not that anyone cares, of course. I don't want everyone worrying about me every second, but at least act like you care when I actually say something... nobody wants to listen, absolutely nobody, and when I finally stop pretending to not know they get worried. Then I'll tell them what's wrong and they won't listen, they'll just blame me for them not listening. Or call me stupid.

Bleh, I've felt worthless and totally alone for years now.

I know how you feel, I've been there. Hell, I'm still there.

But what if you are alone... what if you've spent eight years hearing nothing but that you're ugly and stupid and worthless, and realizing you don't have any real talents that would help you in the future... and that you can't talk about it because you can't find anyoen that really cares? I can't commit suicide, but living like this for three more years is awful... the only people i can talk to are on the internet, because i have no social life otherwise...

This sounds exactly like me at your age.

I had to do that one time, do the whole "sign here that you won't off yourself" thing. Seems to work, as I'm still here.

I guess it must be a pretty common practice. I signed it, but I couldn't help wondering what good it was. What are they going to do if you break the contract and off yourself anyway? I'm still here too though, so they must be smarter than me and know something I don't.

This sounds exactly like me at your age.

sounds like me earlier today.

really Pancake, it seems to suck more than it actually does sometimes. You totally can't do anything to hurt yourself until you have explored all your options, sadly though you can't explore many of them now....you gotta grow up a bit more so you can get away from the idiots who tell you things like "you are stupid and ugly" they aren't worth your time, and they certainly aren't worth your life. ;)

But what if you are alone... what if you've spent eight years hearing nothing but that you're ugly and stupid and worthless, and realizing you don't have any real talents that would help you in the future... and that you can't talk about it because you can't find anyoen that really cares? I can't commit suicide, but living like this for three more years is awful... the only people i can talk to are on the internet, because i have no social life otherwise...

then talk to me...pm if you have too..i spent 6 years alone and hurting..now i am happy...things change my friend...always do and always will..ten years from now you may help someone that needs you..you wont be able too if you aint here.

Come again?

What?

No idea, I'm 17 and Catholic.

Maybe we are all the same person. Or just different pieces of the hive-mind..

>.>

<.<

*bzzzz*

But what if you are alone... what if you've spent eight years hearing nothing but that you're ugly and stupid and worthless, and realizing you don't have any real talents that would help you in the future... and that you can't talk about it because you can't find anyoen that really cares? I can't commit suicide, but living like this for three more years is awful... the only people i can talk to are on the internet, because i have no social life otherwise...

Despite the high per capita rate of morons here, there are some who will listen. Me, aj, Smunkee, and several others. It may not be the same as having someone there in person, but you are not totally alone.

But what if you are alone... what if you've spent eight years hearing nothing but that you're ugly and stupid and worthless, and realizing you don't have any real talents that would help you in the future... and that you can't talk about it because you can't find anyoen that really cares? I can't commit suicide, but living like this for three more years is awful... the only people i can talk to are on the internet, because i have no social life otherwise...
I'm not in too dissimilar a position (the difference being any negative self-image I have is the product of my own mind rather than anyone saying so to me), but I managed to overcome the concomitant suicidal tendencies. I wish I could explain how, but I am afraid it is something that just has to come naturally - perhaps as an alteration in your perspective of things.

I've attempted suicide in the past. It's been a couple of years since the last time, and I sincerely hope I'll never reach that point again. Getting to a place where I'm happy with myself and my life is exceedingly hard work, and I'm not anywhere near there yet, but at least I'm starting to believe it's possible again. :)

I certainly don't put any value in my own life, but there'd be too many people that'd miss me if I offed myself, and I could never do that to them. In general, suicide is selfish.

So, how close have people here been to suicide?

Never even close...not even when I was depressed.

Life is short enough as it is.

I certainly don't put any value in my own life, but there'd be too many people that'd miss me if I offed myself, and I could never do that to them. In general, suicide is selfish.

Perhaps. But when one is suicidal, they tend to be in such profound despair that they actually think they'd be doing others a favor by killing themselves.

Perhaps. But when one is suicidal, they tend to be in such profound despair that they actually think they'd be doing others a favor by killing themselves.

well said..that is the paradox..cause it just hurts those they want to not hurt.

Listening to "Castles in the Air" while reading your post makes me want to go cry and lock myself in my room for the next month.

Honestly though, I think you need to get this piece of writing published somewhere, or at least show it to other people who are depressed.


i am flattered...everyone goes thru hell in this life,if it helps one person then i am smiling...cause it is the truth...you never know what is around the next corner..and you are never alone....no matter how alone you feel

I think this calls for:

Through early morning fog I see

visions of the things to be

the pains that are withheld for me

I realize and I can see...

[REFRAIN]:

that suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

and I can take or leave it if I please.

I try to find a way to make

all our little joys relate

without that ever-present hate

but now I know that it's too late, and...

[REFRAIN]

The game of life is hard to play

I'm gonna lose it anyway

The losing card I'll someday lay

so this is all I have to say.

[REFRAIN]

The only way to win is cheat

And lay it down before I'm beat

and to another give my seat

for that's the only painless feat.

[REFRAIN]

The sword of time will pierce our skins

It doesn't hurt when it begins

But as it works its way on in

The pain grows stronger...watch it grin, but...

[REFRAIN]

A brave man once requested me

to answer questions that are key

is it to be or not to be

and I replied 'oh why ask me?'

[REFRAIN]

'Cause suicide is painless

it brings on many changes

and I can take or leave it if I please.

...and you can do the same thing if you please.

I'm too absurd to actually carry out something as decisively deliberate as suicide. :D

Although I admit that I entertain the idea at least once ever few days, but its usually just a passing wave of newfound angst or adolescent naivety,

But what if you are alone... what if you've spent eight years hearing nothing but that you're ugly and stupid and worthless, and realizing you don't have any real talents that would help you in the future... and that you can't talk about it because you can't find anyoen that really cares? I can't commit suicide, but living like this for three more years is awful... the only people i can talk to are on the internet, because i have no social life otherwise...

Eh, that's my world, mate.

Only difference is, I have the rather unfortunate disability to feel most emotions. No joke. Imagine not being able to remember not just the happy times, and what it feels like to be happy, but also not remembering what it feels like to be truly sad, angry, etc. Tis rough.

And I've been on the virge of committing suicide several times. I've been very close to it, and have attempted once.

Then I realize, what's the point? Why kill myself now, when I'm going to die in the future. Might as well hope things will get better, if you off yourself now, it assuredly won't. It's that line of thought that's kept me going for a while now.

Yet, unfortunately, it's really starting to weigh me down. A few months back I had back-to-back major depressive episodes, and since then, I haven't been able to return to "normal"(Normal for me is more or less a state of uncaring; Like I said, I really don't know what it's like to feel good). Not sure how well I'm going to do when the next comes about(I expect them to come about these days. It's really only a matter of time). Hopefully it won't be as bad as the last two(Going through one or two a year is rough, going through two in a the span of a couple months is hell).

Just got back from the psychiatrist today. had to promise him not to kill myself tonight. :mad:

Damn right i'm suicidal. With everything from being forced to work against my will to the selfish women of today.... *grumbles*

So, how close have people here been to suicide?

Don't do it dude. You never know what tomorrow might bring. The thing is.. you gotta get some hope.. do you have any? No? Get some. I'm not about to read this entire thread. I want to ask do you believe in God.. likely answer no.. (no not cause he has no hope and is wanting to kill him self -- I've been here long enough to remember some of his, many of his posts). Find some peace. I was worrying about you when you posted on here that you were in a nut ward. Actually I thought of you before you posted that. I noticed your absence. Find some peace and hope. IMO unless you have some dreadful disease where you are suffering dreadfully and there is no getting better.. there isn't an excuse. But I do not think you will go to hell or anything. I just think you should not end your life on your on. Change your mindset.

I've been close enough. When I was in my mid late teens.. I thought about it a few times. Actually thought about going through with it once. But I always knew it wasn't right. And I was right.. looking back now.. my reasons were bullshit.

to the selfish women of today.... 'Selfish women' mi arse. Shut up and do the dishes, man:mad:

So, how close have people here been to suicide?

I'm probably only here because the coat hanger in my closet popped off. I remember being pissed when I woke up because I was having such a nice dream.

Essentially that's what happens when you lose faith in god and coincidentally start seeing things.

Eh, that's my world, mate.

Only difference is, I have the rather unfortunate disability to feel most emotions. No joke. Imagine not being able to remember not just the happy times, and what it feels like to be happy, but also not remembering what it feels like to be truly sad, angry, etc. Tis rough. ...

Do you mean that you can't feel most emotions or that you can't remember emotions from the past?
I'm sorry, your first three sentences confused me.

If it's a case of being unable to feel emotions, then I might come under that heading at times. I feel no real sadness at deaths. I feel no real outrage when I think of September 11th or July 7th. I feel no real joy when I get a present.

The more I think about my emotions, the more they seem to me to be a sham. The ones that I do seem to have don't strike me as emotions, which always I always felt were a subconscious phenomenon, not controlled in any way by the one experiencing them but nonetheless occurring whenever they'd experience something which would provoke one.

My emotions don't seem like that, or at least not any more. They seem forced, as though my consciousness has been racing through things and working out my emotions. When I do feel sad, it feels like I'm purposely trying to be sad so that I'm not dismissed as callous.

And what makes it even worse is that when I think things like that sentence above, my mind seems to analyze it and come to the conclusion that I'm just putting on an act and trying to get attention, but then, this time unbidden, comes the thought that I'm just thinking that so as to feel sympathetic towards myself, and then another thought comes about that thought, and another, and another...

And each thought criticises me more. Each thought seems to try harder and harder to make me hate myself, and sometimes it works. I can't even write this post without those thoughts coming.

It's pushed me into mild depression several times before, and it caused my most recent bout of serious depression several months ago. This was probably the time that suicide seemed like the most attractive option.

It's also caused me to quite literally doubt my sanity in the past. I just think about how very few of the people around me seem to experience the same thing; seemingly none of the. That particular thought normally begins a downward spiral where my thoughts criticise me for being arrogant enough to think that I'm special in some way, even in some way as bad as this, so special that no-one around me experiences the same.

I've been told that I over-analyze things and that I think too much. Perhaps I do.

Coincidentally, I had a copy of Durkheim's Suicide by my keyboard when I noticed this thread. So about six inches is the closest for me.

Do you mean that you can't feel most emotions or that you can't remember emotions from the past?
I'm sorry, your first three sentences confused me.

Both. I can't feel emotional, as well as I don't remember what it is actually like to feel emotions. What's more, my childhood is rather... unknown to me. I have memory problems, for a few reasons(Apparently your mother drinking when she is pregnant with you tends to screw with long term and short term memory, from what I hear), and I really don't have complete memories of anything these days. All I really know is bits and fragments that I've been able to piece together through what I've been told. Hell, I don't even remember what I did yesterday. That's how bad it gets sometimes.


Ho-well.

Both. I can't feel emotional, as well as I don't remember what it is actually like to feel emotions. What's more, my childhood is rather... unknown to me. I have memory problems, for a few reasons(Apparently your mother drinking when she is pregnant with you tends to screw with long term and short term memory, from what I hear), and I really don't have complete memories of anything these days. All I really know is bits and fragments that I've been able to piece together through what I've been told. Hell, I don't even remember what I did yesterday. That's how bad it gets sometimes.


Ho-well.

I think my problem pales in comparison.
I'm so sorry for you. :(

I think my problem pales in comparison.
I'm so sorry for you. :(

It's a fact: just when you think your life has the most horrific problems, you can always find someone else with a shittier life...

Do you mean that you can't feel most emotions or that you can't remember emotions from the past?
I'm sorry, your first three sentences confused me.

If it's a case of being unable to feel emotions, then I might come under that heading at times. I feel no real sadness at deaths. I feel no real outrage when I think of September 11th or July 7th. I feel no real joy when I get a present.

The more I think about my emotions, the more they seem to me to be a sham. The ones that I do seem to have don't strike me as emotions, which always I always felt were a subconscious phenomenon, not controlled in any way by the one experiencing them but nonetheless occurring whenever they'd experience something which would provoke one.

My emotions don't seem like that, or at least not any more. They seem forced, as though my consciousness has been racing through things and working out my emotions. When I do feel sad, it feels like I'm purposely trying to be sad so that I'm not dismissed as callous.

And what makes it even worse is that when I think things like that sentence above, my mind seems to analyze it and come to the conclusion that I'm just putting on an act and trying to get attention, but then, this time unbidden, comes the thought that I'm just thinking that so as to feel sympathetic towards myself, and then another thought comes about that thought, and another, and another...

And each thought criticises me more. Each thought seems to try harder and harder to make me hate myself, and sometimes it works. I can't even write this post without those thoughts coming.

It's pushed me into mild depression several times before, and it caused my most recent bout of serious depression several months ago. This was probably the time that suicide seemed like the most attractive option.

It's also caused me to quite literally doubt my sanity in the past. I just think about how very few of the people around me seem to experience the same thing; seemingly none of the. That particular thought normally begins a downward spiral where my thoughts criticise me for being arrogant enough to think that I'm special in some way, even in some way as bad as this, so special that no-one around me experiences the same.

I've been told that I over-analyze things and that I think too much. Perhaps I do.

I can relate to this and what Seangoli said. I don't think I feel emotion in the same way as others, perhaps this is a distinguishing factor in a brain prone to depressive thinking. I don't remember the last time I felt happy, the only times I feel 'good' is when I'm sufficiently distracted away from my unhappiness.

I over-analyse also, finding signals of people hating me in simple things like where they sit at a table in relation to me, what words they choose to say or how they say it, even stupid things like if they walk on the opposite side of a handrail to me when going down a flight of stairs...

Do you mean that you can't feel most emotions or that you can't remember emotions from the past?
I'm sorry, your first three sentences confused me.

If it's a case of being unable to feel emotions, then I might come under that heading at times. I feel no real sadness at deaths. I feel no real outrage when I think of September 11th or July 7th. I feel no real joy when I get a present.
Likewise, albeit I am not as emotionally numb. For instance, if I get very high marks and others expect me to be all ecstatic, I will unfailingly disappoint by my subdued reactions. Most likely the feature of an introverted, schizothymic personality.

It's also caused me to quite literally doubt my sanity in the past. I just think about how very few of the people around me seem to experience the same thing; seemingly none of the. That particular thought normally begins a downward spiral where my thoughts criticise me for being arrogant enough to think that I'm special in some way, even in some way as bad as this, so special that no-one around me experiences the same.
Yes, I've experienced this too a couple of times. However, does it make any sense? Is it not a rational assumption to make that indeed most people do not face these problems? Usually this is overcome by contemplating about how many people there are on the earth, and that by virtue of sheer statistical probability a good deal of others must too be experiencing similar thoughts. That is no solace though, because it does not change the fact that in your immediate surroundings few, if any, are trapped in the same mode of thought.

I've been told that I over-analyze things and that I think too much. Perhaps I do.
That's a virtue as far as I am concerned. :)

Sounds like a lot of Cho-like people post on NS General...


*runs*

Eh, that's my world, mate.

Only difference is, I have the rather unfortunate disability to feel most emotions. No joke. Imagine not being able to remember not just the happy times, and what it feels like to be happy, but also not remembering what it feels like to be truly sad, angry, etc. Tis rough.

And I've been on the virge of committing suicide several times. I've been very close to it, and have attempted once.

Then I realize, what's the point? Why kill myself now, when I'm going to die in the future. Might as well hope things will get better, if you off yourself now, it assuredly won't. It's that line of thought that's kept me going for a while now.

Yet, unfortunately, it's really starting to weigh me down. A few months back I had back-to-back major depressive episodes, and since then, I haven't been able to return to "normal"(Normal for me is more or less a state of uncaring; Like I said, I really don't know what it's like to feel good). Not sure how well I'm going to do when the next comes about(I expect them to come about these days. It's really only a matter of time). Hopefully it won't be as bad as the last two(Going through one or two a year is rough, going through two in a the span of a couple months is hell).

Do you mean that you can't feel most emotions or that you can't remember emotions from the past?
I'm sorry, your first three sentences confused me.

If it's a case of being unable to feel emotions, then I might come under that heading at times. I feel no real sadness at deaths. I feel no real outrage when I think of September 11th or July 7th. I feel no real joy when I get a present.

The more I think about my emotions, the more they seem to me to be a sham. The ones that I do seem to have don't strike me as emotions, which always I always felt were a subconscious phenomenon, not controlled in any way by the one experiencing them but nonetheless occurring whenever they'd experience something which would provoke one.

My emotions don't seem like that, or at least not any more. They seem forced, as though my consciousness has been racing through things and working out my emotions. When I do feel sad, it feels like I'm purposely trying to be sad so that I'm not dismissed as callous.

And what makes it even worse is that when I think things like that sentence above, my mind seems to analyze it and come to the conclusion that I'm just putting on an act and trying to get attention, but then, this time unbidden, comes the thought that I'm just thinking that so as to feel sympathetic towards myself, and then another thought comes about that thought, and another, and another...

And each thought criticises me more. Each thought seems to try harder and harder to make me hate myself, and sometimes it works. I can't even write this post without those thoughts coming.

It's pushed me into mild depression several times before, and it caused my most recent bout of serious depression several months ago. This was probably the time that suicide seemed like the most attractive option.

It's also caused me to quite literally doubt my sanity in the past. I just think about how very few of the people around me seem to experience the same thing; seemingly none of the. That particular thought normally begins a downward spiral where my thoughts criticise me for being arrogant enough to think that I'm special in some way, even in some way as bad as this, so special that no-one around me experiences the same.

I've been told that I over-analyze things and that I think too much. Perhaps I do.

I can relate to this and what Seangoli said. I don't think I feel emotion in the same way as others, perhaps this is a distinguishing factor in a brain prone to depressive thinking. I don't remember the last time I felt happy, the only times I feel 'good' is when I'm sufficiently distracted away from my unhappiness.

I over-analyse also, finding signals of people hating me in simple things like where they sit at a table in relation to me, what words they choose to say or how they say it, even stupid things like if they walk on the opposite side of a handrail to me when going down a flight of stairs...

Likewise, albeit I am not as emotionally numb. For instance, if I get very high marks and others expect me to be all ecstatic, I will unfailingly disappoint by my subdued reactions. Most likely the feature of an introverted, schizothymic personality.


Yes, I've experienced this too a couple of times. However, does it make any sense? Is it not a rational assumption to make that indeed most people do not face these problems? Usually this is overcome by contemplating about how many people there are on the earth, and that by virtue of sheer statistical probability a good deal of others must too be experiencing similar thoughts. That is no solace though, because it does not change the fact that in your immediate surroundings few, if any, are trapped in the same mode of thought.


That's a virtue as far as I am concerned. :)


You can add me to this list. I had my emotions beaten out of me. I'm sure there were some happy moments in my childhood, but all I seem to remember, after years of therapy, is the pain. All I remember is learning that if you shut down, it doesn't hurt as much.

Sounds like a lot of Cho-like people post on NS General...


*runs*

That was un-called for, DK.

You can add me to this list. I had my emotions beaten out of me. I'm sure there were some happy moments in my childhood, but all I seem to remember, after years of therapy, is the pain. All I remember is learning that if you shut down, it doesn't hurt as much.
I can't even offer such an explanation - my parents were anything but abusive. I think it's merely a personality trait of mine.

That was un-called for, DK.
What was he alluding to anyway? :p

What was he alluding to anyway? :p

He was comparing us to the Virginia Tech Shooter.

Technically speaking, you are all coming across as loathesome abused loners.
Of what I have posted, what could possibly justify such an inference? Loner yes. The preceding adjectives though?

He was comparing us to the Virginia Tech Shooter.

Technically speaking, you are all coming across as loathesome abused loners.

How could the comparison to his pre-shooting condition not be made?

Of what I have posted, what could possibly justify such an inference? Loner yes. The preceding adjectives though?

Maybe not you in particular, but the thread is heavily laden with girls don't like me my parents abused me no one loves me emo lyrics.

I have no doubt that if you guys started doing exercises, you would feel much better.

Much of depression is related to your body, not just your mind. And if your body feels like shit, it will directly influence your thoughts.

If you guys started doing anything to make your body move, your mind will improve too.

I recomend running, swimming or some kind of martial arts. Team sports are good too if you want to meet people, but its better to stay away if you think you sucks.

Technically speaking, you are all coming across as loathesome abused loners.

How could the comparison to his pre-shooting condition not be made?

A) I wouldn't talk about people being loathesome, if I were you. Thinking that other peeople's suffering is amusing is rather loathesome.

B) None of us have ever contemplated such an act as like Cho committed, and it was incredibly inappropriate for you to imply it. Just exactly who the hell do you think you are?

A) I wouldn't talk about people being loathesome, if I were you. Thinking that other peeople's suffering is amusing is rather loathesome.

B) None of us have ever contemplated such an act as like Cho committed, and it was incredibly inappropriate for you to imply it. Just exactly who the hell do you think you are?

"Loathesome" as in the OP's reference to the idea that girls are unfair and don't like him.

I'm pretty sure Cho didn't contemplate the act until near the end. He had years of suffering as an inwardly-turned loner feeling sorry for himself before he got angry about it.

Maybe not you in particular, but the thread is heavily laden with girls don't like me my parents abused me no one loves me emo lyrics.

Go straight to hell, DK. I am no emo, nor am I by any definition a "kid". It must be nice to live a life with no pain, but to throw such derision at others for their suffering is nothing short of disgusting. Your parents may not have abused you, but they obviously failed to teach you how to be a decent human being.

I have no doubt that if you guys started doing exercises, you would feel much better.

Much of depression is related to your body, not just your mind. And if your body feels like shit, it will directly influence your thoughts.

If you guys started doing anything to make your body move, your mind will improve too.

I recomend running, swimming or some kind of martial arts. Team sports are good too if you want to meet people, but its better to stay away if you think you sucks.

Not really an option for me. I'm just a bit mobility impaired.

B) None of us have ever contemplated such an act as like Cho committed,
I did, a few days ago. :p

I did, a few days ago. :p

I hope you sought some help for that. BTW, if you're joking, that's as bad as what DK is doing.

Game - set - match.
Pow! :mp5:

:p

I hope you sought some help for that. BTW, if you're joking, that's as bad as what DK is doing.
No, i wasn't. WYTYG can tell you all about it.

Stupid time warps. :mad:

I did, a few days ago. :p

Game - set - match.

Game - set - match.

What part of "go straight to hell" did you not get? You're not wanted here. Go away.

Not really an option for me. I'm just a bit mobility impaired.

Same here. I suffer from arthritis and scholiosis (sp.? Possibly the only word I've never been able to spell), so it's difficult to do anything at times.

"Loathesome" as in the OP's reference to the idea that girls are unfair and don't like him.
I didn't quite get that bit either; usually when one alludes to "selfish" women it is either because they are not interested in that person, or because they no longer conform to archaic roles, neither of which are objectionable traits.

I didn't quite get that bit either; usually when one alludes to "selfish" women it is either because they are not interested in that person, or because they no longer conform to archaic roles, neither of which are objectionable traits.

I took it to mean women who can't be bothered to give of their time or anything else to be with the OP.

I didn't quite get that bit either; usually when one alludes to "selfish" women it is either because they are not interested in that person, or because they no longer conform to archaic roles, neither of which are objectionable traits.
The fact that they don't conform to archaic roles is NOT why I'm misogynist.

I think my problem pales in comparison.
I'm so sorry for you. :(

Don't. Quite frankly, as bad as my condition is, there are those who have far worse than I do. There are millions of people beaten, raped, tortured, murdered, and starving across the world. I can safely say that what I have to deal with pales in comparison to what a far many other people go through. Does it suck? Yes. Could it be much worse? Yes. Compared to others, what I go through on a day to day basis is nothing.

The fact that they don't conform to archaic roles is NOT why I'm misogynist.
Then why are you one? Misogyny is utterly beyond me.

Then why are you one? Misogyny is utterly beyond me.
Bad experiences with them, online and off. The fact that they've become just as bad/mean as men, and worse, (http://www.kare11.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=254071) is what gets me (shallowness, callousness, bitchyness, etc.)

RO, please leave this thread, your comments are groundless and unwanted.

My brother killed himself nearly 20 years ago now. It still hurts.

You never get over the feeling of guilt. The guilt that comes with wondering what could I have done to have stopped it. The guilt of wondering how you could have been so selfish not to see what was coming. You suffer almost unendurable sadness over such a waste of life. You miss them like you cannot imagine. You learn to live with it and you get on with your life, but it is always there lurking in the background.

If you are thinking of suicide. No matter how bad things may seem I guarantee you you'll leave your family behind and they'll be living a life of eternal hurt. For their sakes don't do it. Tell someone anyone. Just telling someone can help you.

I have found that among Atheists, suicide seems to never be a serious consideration.

Theists however claim they are happier, yet I hear wish to commit suicide. I guess they want to meet their interpretation of a 'god' faster?

Well I've found something that can keep me alive and in NC--

I won a writing contest. :D First place, $250, a mention in the local newspaper, and I get my short story published. :D

And I got band coming up sophomore year... :)

Pretty much it, though...

RO, please leave this thread, your comments are groundless and unwanted.

Groundless? I think not.

Groundless? I think not.

It is groundless. Do you think any of us would go and shoot 30 people?

Well I've found something that can keep me alive and in NC--

I won a writing contest. :D First place, $250, a mention in the local newspaper, and I get my short story published. :D

And I got band coming up sophomore year... :)

Pretty much it, though...

Congratulations on the contest!

You know, I don't know you, but from what I've seen of your posts, you strike me as someone who will love college. I can't say or do anything to make your high school years not suck - honestly, they suck for most people. Anyone who says your teenage years are the best years of your life is either lying or insane. But it gets so, so very much better that it's truly worth sticking it out. :)

Bad experiences with them, online and off. The fact that they've become just as bad/mean as men, and worse, (http://www.kare11.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=254071) is what gets me (shallowness, callousness, bitchyness, etc.)

oh my god, you mean...women are people too? :eek:

And you know, one could say, that if you had perpetually bad experiences....maybe it's you?

And you know, one could say, that if you had perpetually bad experiences....maybe it's you?
http://images.despair.com/products/demotivators/dysfunction.jpg

Groundless? I think not.

You heartless son of a bitch. You are telling me that because we happen to have some problems, we are all going to commit mass murder? You're telling me that I will go make a video of myself fully armed and send it to NBC? You're telling me that I am gonna write a story about child molestation?

I don't care about your opinion on something you've never experienced. Come back to me when your doctor tells you that you are clinically depressed.

Go fuck yourself.

It is groundless. Do you think any of us would go and shoot 30 people?

Well I've found something that can keep me alive and in NC--

I won a writing contest. :D First place, $250, a mention in the local newspaper, and I get my short story published. :D

And I got band coming up sophomore year... :)

Pretty much it, though...

HAPPY PANCAKE!!!! :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :D :D :D

http://images.despair.com/products/demotivators/dysfunction.jpg

that's um....yeah, that's pretty much it.

Same here. I suffer from arthritis and scholiosis (sp.? Possibly the only word I've never been able to spell), so it's difficult to do anything at times.

Spina Bifida, and in a wheelchair. I won't be in any marathons soon (well I suppose I could, technically, but I'd rather not.)

Well I've found something that can keep me alive and in NC--

I won a writing contest. :D First place, $250, a mention in the local newspaper, and I get my short story published. :D

And I got band coming up sophomore year... :)

Pretty much it, though...

Yay Pancake! :D

Well I've found something that can keep me alive and in NC--

I won a writing contest. :D First place, $250, a mention in the local newspaper, and I get my short story published. :D

And I got band coming up sophomore year... :)

Pretty much it, though...

Congrats :fluffle:

Oh, stop trying to outdo each other on the depression scale. Get over yourselves.

Yes, that was the goal of our posting: outdo each other. :rolleyes:

Oh, stop trying to outdo each other on the depression scale. Get over yourselves.

Oh, stop trying to outdo each other on the depression scale. Get over yourselves.

Again, don't make snide little comments about something you don't understnad. We are working to get over it, not that that's any of your business.

Yay Pancake! :D

Congrats :fluffle:

Thanks :D

Again, don't make snide little comments about something you don't understnad. We are working to get over it, not that that's any of your business.

Then stop whining about it on a thread on a forum. I debated with myself whether or not to bother posting in this topic, because I know it'd cause offense. However, the levels of whinge and back patting ("it's okay to be depressed, I'm more depressed than you") crap has forced me to do so. There are more productive ways to overcome your problems. This is not one of them.

Spina Bifida, and in a wheelchair. I won't be in any marathons soon (well I suppose I could, technically, but I'd rather not.)

Hell, I see people playing basketball in wheelchairs all the time at my college.

Also, there is at least 5 people going to the gym I used to go.

If blind people can play soccer (and they do) I dont see why´people in wheelchairs cant do some sport.

Then stop whining about it on a thread on a forum. I debated with myself whether or not to bother posting in this topic, because I know it'd cause offense. However, the levels of whinge and back patting ("it's okay to be depressed, I'm more depressed than you") crap has forced me to do so. There are more productive ways to overcome your problems. This is not one of them.

Talking about your problems with others isn't a productive way to deal with them?

Interesting. I have a feeling that, oh, roughly every psychologist in the world is going to disagree with you on this one. But hey, obviously you know better than them, right?

Then stop whining about it on a thread on a forum. I debated with myself whether or not to bother posting in this topic, because I know it'd cause offense. However, the levels of whinge and back patting ("it's okay to be depressed, I'm more depressed than you") crap has forced me to do so. There are more productive ways to overcome your problems. This is not one of them.

No one's "whining" you obnoxious little shit. We are not "competing" to see who's most depressed, we're offering support to one another. No one "forced" you to post anything. You did it specifically to offend. Your comment that "debated about whether to post" because you knew it would cause offense shows that you chose to be offensive. You chose to be an ass, for kicks. DON'T presume to tell anyone here how to deal with anything. If you've never dealt with this kind of thing, what the hell gives you the right to judge those of us who have? Expressing an opinion is one thing, deliberately offending poeple is another. Your right to have an opinion stops when it interferes with someone else's right to be treated with dignity and respect. You may say "if you want respect, earn it". Well, you're right. That's why I have no respect for you. If this thread bothers you so much, the mature thing to do would have been to not post on it.

Hell, I see people playing basketball in wheelchairs all the time at my college.

Also, there is at least 5 people going to the gym I used to go.

If blind people can play soccer (and they do) I dont see why´people in wheelchairs cant do some sport.

Yes, I suppose I could, but it's not really going to help with clinical depression. The therapy and anti-depressants do, though. It's not like I"m doing nothing about the situation.

Spina Bifida, and in a wheelchair. I won't be in any marathons soon (well I suppose I could, technically, but I'd rather not.)

I have limited walking ability and a wheelchair to make up for it, but I detest the thing. It's got those ridiculously small wheels which mean that you have to be dependent upon someone to push you, and that's just not me.

Then stop whining about it on a thread on a forum. I debated with myself whether or not to bother posting in this topic, because I know it'd cause offense. However, the levels of whinge and back patting ("it's okay to be depressed, I'm more depressed than you") crap has forced me to do so. There are more productive ways to overcome your problems. This is not one of them.

I haven't seen anyone trying to outdo anyone else. Why would they want to?

Have you ever suffered from serious depression? I mean serious? Where life just doesn't seem worth it and you feel as though you'll never think a happy thought again and you feel that people would be better off without you?
It's bad. It's the worst thing you can experience, and you obviously haven't felt it, because you have no goddamn idea of just how bad it is.
There's no way that I know of to overcome serious depression on your own, so stop bitching and just get your self out of here.
We didn't force you to read the thread. You shouldn't force your opinions on us.

And no, nothing forced you to post. Your own misguided sense of self-righteousness caused you to do so, and you've really done nothing more but insult those whom you were talking to.

Talking about it with other people is sometimes the best way of improving. So discussing it here is not 'whining'; it's helping one another.

Well, I do think exercises would help you.

It would improve your body and give you an oportunity to meet other people who share your situation.

Also, a little competition is always good.

I have limited walking ability and a wheelchair to make up for it, but I detest the thing. It's got those ridiculously small wheels which mean that you have to be dependent upon someone to push you, and that's just not me.

God, I hate those things! Thank god I can push myself.

Well I've found something that can keep me alive and in NC--

I won a writing contest. :D First place, $250, a mention in the local newspaper, and I get my short story published. :D

And I got band coming up sophomore year... :)

Pretty much it, though...

:D

:D

The contest coordinator said "it is very encouraging to hear the profound words of young Tarheels, and your work was certainly profound."

:D

Nah I've never come close to suicide ever. And personally I just don't think I ever will. I don't know everytine I get the short end of the stick or are down a part of me just says; "This isn't me" then from there its a climb back up. Maybe it's cuz I'm so young that I haven't been in any situations that would make others suicidal or I'm strong willed. Dunno.. I'm a stubborn S.O.B. that's for sure.

Funny thing.. wondering if anyone else's mind works like mine does;

To put it simply I have of course a central conscience, a soul if you will, however that soul or mind is comprised of 3 distinct... voices or minds. Not sure what to call them. Used to be only 2 but out of necessity a third facet of my mind has emerged. The first two argue with one another and debate the consequences of choices. That's how I think issues through. The third is new; due to problems in my life which have surfaced say around 3 years ago, I think that is the reason for its existence. That or me growing up. The third voice is moreso a voice of reason or a mature and totally unyielding image of myself. That facet is what I'd say stops me from ever freaking out or going apeshit or from dispairing or not doing what is right. I guess that may be my morallity and logic or sense of right and neccessity combined or what have you. Dunno it's interesting though. And in other cases when I'm just working the three facets of my mind or voices, what have you, just come together and I am of one mind again.

Anyone else like that? Sorry if this is hijacking I'll make a new thread if I should.

The contest coordinator said "it is very encouraging to hear the profound words of young Tarheels, and your work was certainly profound."

:D

Better than people spending 30 mins on my poetry and its underlying maturity and darkness.


:fluffle:

The contest coordinator said "it is very encouraging to hear the profound words of young Tarheels, and your work was certainly profound."

:D

well who knows where this will lead to

Better than people spending 30 mins on my poetry and its underlying maturity and darkness.


:fluffle:

Oh, my story had maturity and darkness... well, it consisted of much of what I've posted in this thread... though had some humor in it. :)

And :fluffle:

Just got back from the psychiatrist today. had to promise him not to kill myself tonight. :mad:

Damn right i'm suicidal. With everything from being forced to work against my will to the selfish women of today.... *grumbles*

So, how close have people here been to suicide?

I suspect that I am eventually going to die from suicide. The closest I was to it was probably Saturday.

I have limited walking ability and a wheelchair to make up for it, but I detest the thing. It's got those ridiculously small wheels which mean that you have to be dependent upon someone to push you, and that's just not me.


Fit rockets to it, both of the boosting, and the aggressive kind. Failing that, fire extinguishers.

yes i have contemplated it,so you are obviously not alone in that respect.
(...)

Thanks for sharing. I appreciate that, man! :fluffle:
being forced off my lazy butt and forced to work against my free will is why I'm depressed and suicidal. :(
Now that's a bullshit argument to consider suicide for. :gundge:
I had to do that one time, do the whole "sign here that you won't off yourself" thing. Seems to work, as I'm still here.
First of all - What?

And then - so what if I signed it?
I guess it must be a pretty common practice. I signed it, but I couldn't help wondering what good it was. What are they going to do if you break the contract and off yourself anyway? I'm still here too though, so they must be smarter than me and know something I don't.
What if you sign it and still commit suicide?

Are they gonna sue your dead ass off?!?
http://images.despair.com/products/demotivators/dysfunction.jpg
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y223/GermanNightmare/ChemicalImbalance.jpg