NationStates Jolt Archive

Hmm. It appears that playing fair leads to death, or at least a squashed nose.

Therefore I shall have to cheat: IDSPISPOPD

I now try and walk through the doors, in order, until I escape. Or sqash my nose.

You win!
>.>
<.<

<Has picnic with cloaked dude until Kanabia comes back.>
How's Humbug going?

*joins picnic*

How's Humbug going?

*joins picnic*Okay...there is the temptation to cheat, but so far I haven't.

paah. this is going to get hauled away soon anyway. look how far this has gone frome the main topic, like it should by my version of gowins law (as a discussion extends, its relevance to the original topic slowly approaches 0).

paah. this is going to get hauled away soon anyway. look how far this has gone frome the main topic, like it should by my version of gowins law (as a discussion extends, its relevance to the original topic slowly approaches 0).

What's so slow about it ... I can't spam much faster alright, give me a break.

>.>
<.<

You almost had me going for a moment there ;)

Originally Posted by Kanabia
The man pulls out a shorter, but far less rusty sword, and crosses it with your sword. He glares at you threateningly, and waits for your next move...

I back up place the tip of the sword on the ground with the handle in my hand at about 45 degrees, then i place my one of my feet on the blade as to break it of severally bend it.
"Back off buddy or the sword gets it."

Step 2 if step 1 succeeds

Then tell him "open the iron door and get into the pool, where, I give my word as a gentlemen that I shall return your sword to you"

Come on, are we ever going to get this finished?

You almost had me going for a moment there ;)

Mwahahahaha, fear my misquoting skillz.

Come on, are we ever going to get this finished?

Yes.

The suspense will be worth it.

I need time to find a worthy prize. <.<

Bleh. I'll do a couple now before bed and post 'em tomorrow. I have to be up in 6 hours.

Yes.

The suspense will be worth it.

I need time to find a worthy prize. <.<

Porn is a worthy prize.

Porn is a worthy prize.

Maybe, but i'd rather sell my kidney than distribute my porn.

Oh.

You mean porn in general, not porn of me.

Right.

Maybe, but i'd rather sell my kidney than distribute my porn.

Oh.

You mean porn in general, not porn of me.

Right.

Well porn of you will be valuable when you die, probably too valuable to be a prize for escaping the dungeon, which nobody has done yet, right?

Well porn of you will be valuable when you die, probably too valuable to be a prize for escaping the dungeon, which nobody has done yet, right?

Yes.

Actually, I found a couple of awesome prizes today. *nods* But I think I should be getting some sleep. I'll reply to post 187 onwards tomorrow.

I would start genital thrusting in the general direction of the walls.
I wouldn't need to escape the Dungeon because the Dungeon would be wanting to escape from me!

I'll reply to post 187 onwards tomorrow.

All talk, no action. *pouts*

All talk, no action. *pouts*
Typical Aussie :D

Typical Aussie :D

ill drink to that mate

I back up place the tip of the sword on the ground with the handle in my hand at about 45 degrees, then i place my one of my feet on the blade as to break it of severally bend it.
"Back off buddy or the sword gets it."

Step 2 if step 1 succeeds

Then tell him "open the iron door and get into the pool, where, I give my word as a gentlemen that I shall return your sword to you"


whats the bet you cut your foot and die from blood loss?

All talk, no action. *pouts*

Ugghhh. I'm working on it now. :mad: Inbetween themesongs and this, all for no reward....pfeh!

Actually, no. I've changed my mind.

Because of your impatience, you can wait another 24 hours or so.

Here's a taste. (http://img427.imageshack.us/my.php?image=dungeonjw4.jpg)

Ugghhh. I'm working on it now. :mad: Inbetween themesongs and this, all for no reward....pfeh!

Actually, no. I've changed my mind.

Because of your impatience, you can wait another 24 hours or so.

Here's a taste. (http://img427.imageshack.us/my.php?image=dungeonjw4.jpg)
Nice one, WYTYG. :rolleyes: ;)

Nice one, WYTYG. :rolleyes: ;)

'sokay. I'm working on your themesong instead. It's gonna be funky-cool-post-rock.

stupid program doesn't do microtonality though...bah

'sokay. I'm working on your themesong instead. It's gonna be funky-cool-post-rock.

stupid program doesn't do microtonality though...bah

YAY! :D Best news all day.

Yep, I've had quite a dull day.

Nice one, WYTYG. :rolleyes: ;)
Ugghhh. I'm working on it now. :mad: Inbetween themesongs and this, all for no reward....pfeh!

Actually, no. I've changed my mind.

Because of your impatience, you can wait another 24 hours or so.
Yeah, sure, go ahead and blame me now!

:mad: :rolleyes: http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/sad021.gif

Here's a taste. (http://img427.imageshack.us/my.php?image=dungeonjw4.jpg)

Eeek! I can still read it, and I don't want the dungeon to go all creepy and twilgiht zone all of a sudden!
http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/ad/no.gif

YAY! :D Best news all day.

Yep, I've had quite a dull day.

I've had to steal samples from things, though. :p

I've had to steal samples from things, though. :p
In the best traditions of my favourite band. :)

Ach, mein Gott! Why did Rammstein think it'd be a good idea to get Sharleen Spiteri to do guest vocals on their last album? :confused: [/hijack]

In the best traditions of my favourite band. :)

Ach, mein Gott! Why did Rammstein think it'd be a good idea to get Sharleen Spiteri to do guest vocals on their last album? :confused: [/hijack]

*pats and gives cho....er, cookie*


Eeek! I can still read it, and I don't want the dungeon to go all creepy and twilgiht zone all of a sudden!

Too bad. :p

Too bad. :p
So.... seeing how I could read your reply, can I play now? *puppy dog eyes (http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l192/whereyouthinkyougoing/2224514548.jpg)*

Just a quick thing after reading the preview... Does the torch work, or are batteries not included (hence batteries+torch = two choices)?

I ask this for others' benefit, obviously, as my Cunning Plan is bound to work ;)

Ugghhh. I'm working on it now. :mad: Inbetween themesongs and this, all for no reward....pfeh!

Actually, no. I've changed my mind.

Because of your impatience, you can wait another 24 hours or so.

Here's a taste. (http://img427.imageshack.us/my.php?image=dungeonjw4.jpg)

Noes! My cobble-will! Now the bastards are going to take my stuff!

Just a quick thing after reading the preview... Does the torch work, or are batteries not included (hence batteries+torch = two choices)?

I ask this for others' benefit, obviously, as my Cunning Plan is bound to work ;)
I don't know why, but I get the feeling that the "You forgot one important item: Batteries ;) " was aimed at me, after I tried to use the torch...

Doesn't matter though, for I have a plan as cunning as a fox who's just been appointed Professor of Cunning at Oxford University.

I step back until I'm against the iron door. Then I try to throw the sword above his head, so he has to reach up and perhaps jump up to get it.

Unfortunately, large swords are heavy, and not very aerodynamic. The sword spins, and collides with the man...well, at least you think it does. In a split second, both have disappeared, and you have a lingering doubt as to whether there was ever a man there in the first place....or a sword.

A small splash in the body of water catches your eye, however...

I think watery poop is the least of my worries, when I have about 3 hours to escape or be drowned.

Anyway.

I climb out of the pit, hauling up the mattress with me. I then pull apart one end of the mattress to remove a spring, but leaving most of the mattress intact. I advance across the crater into the next room.

I'll now use the torch to get a proper look at the second room, including in the pool.

Congratulations, you are now the proud owner of a shit covered spring, and now you have the mess on your hands as well as your feet.

You stroll over to the pool, and shine your torch towards the water.

...

The torch does not appear to be working.

To your dismay, you realise that you don't have any batteries for it.

Bugger.

I hope my cobble-will wasn't messed up by the rushing water.

It was. On the plus side, you didn't really have anything worth taking anyway.

*Pulls at bars and loose bricks around them*

This isn't a particularly productive way to accomplish anything. The bricks are mildew coated and the mortar is crumbling slightly, but your physical strength isn't quite up to the task of removing the bar.

:rolleyes: It's just Jello Biafra, fighting with the ghost guy.

Anyway, since I'm not allowed to say who it is, I slide my hand in the pocket of my jacket where I put the permanent marker, grip and point it so that it looks like the barrel of a gun in my pocket, slowly turn around to face the source of the footsteps, and hope that whoever it is bears something I can use to get out of the room.

You turn around and come face to face with a boy of about seven years old. "Have you seen my puppy? He ran into the cave and got lost." The boy looks at you inquisitively. You feel a chill down your spine. Something is not right.

Suddenly, you notice what it is. The child's eyes are completely black.

"Come with me....and help me look for him."

Kanabia! What about me? My make-shift measurer made out of a flashlight and a rope?

I couldn't find that post - can you link me it?

I use the CD to reflect light into the pit in order to see more.

You see a disgusting and unfortunately opaque cesspool of waste products and some mushrooms growing on the side.

Originally posted here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11850181&postcount=178).

You might have missed this one...

Sorry, my bad.

To be fair, I'm not reading the thread to find the solution. but this is what I do.

using the whipped cream as a lubricant and the hacksaw, I will cut out the lock thus opening the door and walking out. Oh, and I take the mattress with me.

This is effective.

After an hour of labouring, you manage to cut the lock off. Your hacksaw is rather blunt at the end, regardless, but you may be able to find some use out of it.

The mattress is heavy, but you drag it into the next room.

I place the mattress against the door. I strike a match and light it on fire. The mattress and the door burn. fortunately, both rooms are ventilated so I don't suffocate from the smoke. Once the door has collapsed enough for me to walk through, I do so.

I make the rules.

*strikes down with lightning bolt and turns you into a pile of cinders*

I back up place the tip of the sword on the ground with the handle in my hand at about 45 degrees, then i place my one of my feet on the blade as to break it of severally bend it.
"Back off buddy or the sword gets it."

Step 2 if step 1 succeeds

Then tell him "open the iron door and get into the pool, where, I give my word as a gentlemen that I shall return your sword to you"

The man lunges forward rapidly and strikes you before you have a chance to react. You spin and land upon on your face, a small stream of blood flying out of your wound - a large chunk is now missing from your upper right arm.

When you get up, the man is gone.

Just a quick thing after reading the preview... Does the torch work, or are batteries not included (hence batteries+torch = two choices)?

I ask this for others' benefit, obviously, as my Cunning Plan is bound to work ;)

Heheh. Needs batteries, obviously.

So.... seeing how I could read your reply, can I play now? *puppy dog eyes (http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l192/whereyouthinkyougoing/2224514548.jpg)*

You can now... :p

It was. On the plus side, you didn't really have anything worth taking anyway.
Mean Kanabia.

I make the rules.

*strikes down with lightning bolt and turns you into a pile of cinders*

:eek:

I mean eh, nice Kanabia.

Congratulations, you are now the proud owner of a shit covered spring, and now you have the mess on your hands as well as your feet.

You stroll over to the pool, and shine your torch towards the water.

...

The torch does not appear to be working.

To your dismay, you realise that you don't have any batteries for it.

Bugger.
Bugger indeed. Ah well.

I chuck the mattress on the surface of the water and scramble across the pool before it sinks (if it sinks before I manage that, then I'll just swim the rest of the way). I then proceed to pick the lock with the shit-covered spring.

This isn't a particularly productive way to accomplish anything. The bricks are mildew coated and the mortar is crumbling slightly, but your physical strength isn't quite up to the task of removing the bar.

Making judgements about my strength now, eh? :p

Bugger indeed. Ah well.

I chuck the mattress on the surface of the water and scramble across the pool before it sinks (if it sinks before I manage that, then I'll just swim the rest of the way). I then proceed to pick the lock with the shit-covered spring.

Your weight drags the mattress down quickly, but you swim across the water fairly quickly and without any problems.

Unfortunately, however, the spring is too large to fit in the lock.

However, you hear footsteps behind you...

You turn around and come face to face with a boy of about seven years old. "Have you seen my puppy? He ran into the cave and got lost." The boy looks at you inquisitively. You feel a chill down your spine. Something is not right.

Suddenly, you notice what it is. The child's eyes are completely black.

"Come with me....and help me look for him."

Making judgements about my strength now, eh? :p

Yeah.

OK, then.

This isn't a particularly productive way to accomplish anything. The bricks are mildew coated and the mortar is crumbling slightly, but unfortunately, you cannot get a decent grip on the bar from your position, because your boobies are in the way.

Better?

Yeah.

OK, then.

This isn't a particularly productive way to accomplish anything. The bricks are mildew coated and the mortar is crumbling slightly, but unfortunately, you cannot get a decent grip on the bar from your position, because your boobies are in the way.

Better?

What? Why didn't you tell me I had these at my disposal:http://http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i294/Beautiful-Darkness/boobies.jpg ?

There are many things one can do with a pair of boobies. :rolleyes:

What? Why didn't you tell me I had these at my disposal: http://http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i294/Beautiful-Darkness/boobies.jpg?

There are many things one can do with a pair of boobies. :rolleyes:

You're not up to the guard at the end yet, though.

You're not up to the guard at the end yet, though.

You told everyone else their assets at the start. *Pouts*

Your weight drags the mattress down quickly, but you swim across the water fairly quickly and without any problems.

Unfortunately, however, the spring is too large to fit in the lock.

However, you hear footsteps behind you...

You turn around and come face to face with a boy of about seven years old. "Have you seen my puppy? He ran into the cave and got lost." The boy looks at you inquisitively. You feel a chill down your spine. Something is not right.

Suddenly, you notice what it is. The child's eyes are completely black.

"Come with me....and help me look for him."
Eh, the kid's probably just suffering from Aniridia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aniridia). I give him the number of a qualified opthamologist who can treat him. He is eternally grateful to me and opens the iron door.

You told everyone else their assets at the start. *Pouts*

Not my problem if you didn't notice they were there. I can get rid of them if you like. They're a bit of an unfair advantage.

What? Why didn't you tell me I had these at my disposal: http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i294/Beautiful-Darkness/boobies.jpg?

There are many things one can do with a pair of boobies. :rolleyes:

They could fly you out!

Eh, the kid's probably just suffering from Aniridia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aniridia).

No. The entire eye is black - not just the irises.

Not my problem if you didn't notice they were there. I can get rid of them if you like. They're a bit of an unfair advantage.

No no, I'll keep them thanks. :p

They could fly you out!

:D *Attaches string to their feet*

I wonder if knowledge of the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow is analougus to that of the blue footed boobie...

No. The entire eye is black - not just the irises.
A tortoise suddenly drops from above, hitting the kid on the head and knocking him out cold.

(Ever read Small Gods by Terry Pratchett? No? Bugger).

No no, I'll keep them thanks. :p



:D *Attaches string to their feet*

I wonder if knowledge of the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow is analougus to that of the blue footed boobie...
African or European swallow? ;)

African or European swallow? ;)

>.>

I don't know that... But since I'm already in a place of great peril, do I get cast into a place of non-peril? :D

>.>

I don't know that... But since I'm already in a place of great peril, do I get cast into a place of non-peril? :D
I'm completely guessing here, but I reckon the answer will be 'no'.

I'm completely guessing here, but I reckon the answer will be 'no'.

I would have guessed yes, but you don't get cast with enough force to get through the roof, and seriously injure yourself and your boobies.

I'm completely guessing here, but I reckon the answer will be 'no'.

Damnit. In that case, I retract my previous statement. I'm clearly talking about European swallows. :p

You turn around and come face to face with a boy of about seven years old. "Have you seen my puppy? He ran into the cave and got lost." The boy looks at you inquisitively. You feel a chill down your spine. Something is not right.

Suddenly, you notice what it is. The child's eyes are completely black.

"Come with me....and help me look for him."
I tell him that the puppy isn't in this room - I should know, I've been in here for some time now. It's also not in the previous room, because that's where I came from.
So I tell the kid that the puppy must be in the next room, but I can't get the door to open. So if he opens the door for me, I will help him look for his puppy.

I tell him that the puppy isn't in this room - I should know, I've been in here for some time now. It's also not in the previous room, because that's where I came from.
So I tell the kid that the puppy must be in the next room, but I can't get the door to open. So if he opens the door for me, I will help him look for his puppy.
I really should've thought of that. But I prefer my solution.

I really should've thought of that. But I prefer my solution.

1) it's not gonna work anyway. :rolleyes:

2) your solution is fun and inventive. I'm not doing those anymore. :rolleyes:

:p

1) it's not gonna work anyway. :rolleyes:

2) your solution is fun and inventive. I'm not doing those anymore. :rolleyes:

:p
Heheheh. You wait until I get into the third room - that's when you'll see fun and inventive. :D

Heheheh. You wait until I get into the third room - that's when you'll see fun and inventive. :D
Will it involve your boobies?

Will it involve your boobies?
Err, no. What boobies?! :confused:

Err, no. What boobies?! :confused:
Yours. *nod nod*

Yours. *nod nod*
You mean these (http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i294/Beautiful-Darkness/boobies.jpg)? They're TBD's, not mine...

I don't have any others.

You mean these (http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i294/Beautiful-Darkness/boobies.jpg)? They're TBD's, not mine...

I don't have any others.

Oh please. Even Kanabiana has some (http://img116.exs.cx/img116/1188/boobs8xu.jpg). How else do you want to seduce the guard, eh? :rolleyes:
[hypnotic voice] Tell me already so I can steal your idea. =) [/hypnotic voice]

Oh please. Even Kanabiana has some (http://img116.exs.cx/img116/1188/boobs8xu.jpg). How else do you want to seduce the guard, eh? :rolleyes:
[hypnotic voice] Tell me already so I can steal your idea. =) [/hypnotic voice]
My cunning plan (see one of my previous posts for a description of just how cunning) doesn't require boobies. It does, however, require the remote controlled car...

My cunning plan (see one of my previous posts for a description of just how cunning) doesn't require boobies. It does, however, require the remote controlled car...

Ah, in that case let me gently remind you that you forgot to take the batteries. :p

There, there, no need to be crying now. *pats*

Ah, in that case let me gently remind you that you forgot to take the batteries. :p

There, there, no need to be crying now. *pats*

I shall refer you to this. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11854038&postcount=182)

I don't need much in the way of battery life for my plan.

I shall refer you to this. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11854038&postcount=182)

I don't need much in the way of battery life for my plan.
Damn, your right! Yay, maybe one of us will get out of this thing eventually. :)

You know I'm just saying this to distract you from the fact that I'll be there hiding in the corner waiting to trip you and run out through the final door you just oh-so-cunningly opened, right? Good. =)

Damn, your right! Yay, maybe one of us will get out of this thing eventually. :)

You know I'm just saying this to distract you from the fact that I'll be there hiding in the corner waiting to trip you and run out through the final door you just oh-so-cunningly opened, right? Good. =)
What do you think the rope is for...?

To tie you up and dump you in the pool while I make my break for freedom, of course. :)

What do you think the rope is for...?

To tie you up and dump you in the pool while I make my break for freedom, of course. :)


http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l192/whereyouthinkyougoing/beeeeeagull_1.jpg

http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l192/whereyouthinkyougoing/beeeeeagull_1.jpg

http://www.septemberquestion.org/lumpley/images/pup.gif

http://www.septemberquestion.org/lumpley/images/pup.gif

http://www.post-gazette.com/images3/20051221aodogbiteone_230.jpg

http://www.post-gazette.com/images3/20051221aodogbiteone_230.jpg

http://drunkfriends.com/photos/albums/userpics/10002/cat_kicking_dog.jpg

But enough of the pictures.

I couldn't find that post - can you link me it?


Well, I can't find it.

But what I did was I tied the flashlight to the rope, then put it in the pool of water in room B (I exited room A with the key), and then attempted to pull it back up in order to see how much of the rope had gotten wet in order to determine how deep the pool of water is.

I did this without reading the other posts.

Items left after escape:

3m long rope.
Matches.
Mouldy block of cheese.
Rusty hacksaw.
Can of whipped cream.
A barbie doll, minus head.
A compact disc labelled "Greatest Hits of the 80s: Volume Three"
An empty glass, to be filled with a random nondescript fluid.
A broomstick.
A slightly worn "I heart NY" T-shirt
A map of Warsaw city center, written in Polish.
A torch. (flashlight)
Two AA Batteries.
A remote controlled car.
A book about advanced calculus.
A permanent marker.

You must escape these three rooms within 6 hours:

ROOM A:

It contains a suspiciously soiled matress on the ground, and a small grate near the ceiling allows a tiny amount of light to filter through. The grate isn't large enough to squeeze through, but you could fit an arm through if you could reach and one of the bars were removed, somehow. The walls are slimy and moss covered, and the same is true of the floor. The cobblestones in the floor are somewhat loose, and with no small effort, you could probably remove one, but it would make some noise. A small pit in the corner contains stuff you probably don't want to know about. A wooden door leads to the next room.

Well, first I'm going to rip the 'do not remove under penalty of law' thing off the mattress, just because I can. Then I fold the I heart NY shirt, pull off a cobblestone and put it down on it. Then I heft the cobblestone and use it to bash down the door.

ROOM B:

There is a pool in the middle - it is impossible to tell how deep it is. Aside from a small, unsafe looking moss covered ledge along the left side of the room, it is blocking your path. Several small creatures scurry around in the dark, pausing to nibble on the small clumps of fungi on the edge of the pool. There are some tree roots hanging down from the natural rock ceiling, and a small column of light pierces through a hairline crack in it - this is more detrimental than anything, though, as the bright light coming from this opening isn't enough to light the room and the contrast prevents your eyes from adjusting properly to the dark. The doorway at the opposite end of the room looks to be made of rusty iron.

I grab the batteries and break them open with the cobblestone, allowing them to drip sulfuric acid on the hinges, melting them off.

ROOM C:

This massive cavernous room contains a gigantic dinner table, with seats and cutlery, set up as if awaiting a banquet - there appears to be food present on the table, but lids cover the plates, so exactly what is being served is unknown to you. Candelebras in the roof provide adequate lighting. A sign next to the door you entered says "please remove shoes." A fishtank with some exotic looking fish is on one side of the room, and on the other, an extremely large and excessively strong looking man stands in front of the exit, blocking your path. He stares ahead blankly and doesn't seem to pay attention to your presence.

I set fire to the table with the matches and fling it into the man. Then I throw the cobblestone at him.

<SNIP>

You have to wait for him to tell you what happens after each action you take.

Unfortunately, large swords are heavy, and not very aerodynamic. The sword spins, and collides with the man...well, at least you think it does. In a split second, both have disappeared, and you have a lingering doubt as to whether there was ever a man there in the first place....or a sword.

A small splash in the body of water catches your eye, however...I go and examine the source of the splash.

http://www.post-gazette.com/images3/20051221aodogbiteone_230.jpg:eek: Why do you have pictures from our newspaper here? <Feels stalked.>

This thread scares me.

This thread scares me.
You scare me. Are you the black-eyed kid looking for his puppy?

You scare me. Are you the black-eyed kid looking for his puppy?

Why oh yes!

Would you kindly help me look for my dear puppy?

*grabs a steak knife*

Why oh yes!

Would you kindly help me look for my dear puppy?

*grabs a steak knife*
*takes sword from the pool and proceeds to decapitate Ruffy*

*takes sword from the pool and proceeds to decapitate Ruffy*

*jiggles*

*takes sword from the pool and proceeds to decapitate Ruffy*

Don't fuck with Ruffy, he's got a lighter.

Don't fuck with Ruffy, he's got a lighter.
But I have a sword...

But I have a sword...

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y239/NuGo1988/ruffy.jpg

I wish I had a photo of me with a sword...

I wish I had a photo of me with a sword...

Ruffy's lighter would melt it.

:eek: Why do you have pictures from our newspaper here? <Feels stalked.>

Damn, it was supposed to be from I V Stalin's local newspaper! Somebody must have gotten my stalker files confused.

Time to show that assistant what I think of his shoddy work.... :mad:

snip

Your sig! Ahahahahahaaaa. :p :p

Ok, only read the last page or so, so lets try

3m long rope.
Matches.
Mouldy block of cheese.
Rusty hacksaw.
Can of whipped cream.
A barbie doll, minus head.
A compact disc labelled "Greatest Hits of the 80s: Volume Three"
An empty glass, to be filled with a random nondescript fluid.
A broomstick.
A slightly worn "I heart NY" T-shirt
A map of Warsaw city center, written in Polish.
A torch. (flashlight)
Two AA Batteries.
A remote controlled car.
A book about advanced calculus.
A permanent marker.

You must escape these three rooms within 6 hours:

ROOM A:

It contains a suspiciously soiled matress on the ground, and a small grate near the ceiling allows a tiny amount of light to filter through. The grate isn't large enough to squeeze through, but you could fit an arm through if you could reach and one of the bars were removed, somehow. The walls are slimy and moss covered, and the same is true of the floor. The cobblestones in the floor are somewhat loose, and with no small effort, you could probably remove one, but it would make some noise. A small pit in the corner contains stuff you probably don't want to know about. A wooden door leads to the next room.

Ok. Move the mattress to the wall never the grate. Fold over the mattress and step on it for extra heigt, and loop the rope around one of the bars. Now place the mattress against the door to muffle any sounds. Take both ends of the rope and pull, use you weight to pull the bar out. Once removed use the bar a leverage to remove the cobblestones fast. The mattress should still be blocking out most of the noise.
Using the cobble stone and bar, place bar against door lock and the stone as a hammer. Smash through the lock.

ROOM B:

There is a pool in the middle - it is impossible to tell how deep it is. Aside from a small, unsafe looking moss covered ledge along the left side of the room, it is blocking your path. Several small creatures scurry around in the dark, pausing to nibble on the small clumps of fungi on the edge of the pool. There are some tree roots hanging down from the natural rock ceiling, and a small column of light pierces through a hairline crack in it - this is more detrimental than anything, though, as the bright light coming from this opening isn't enough to light the room and the contrast prevents your eyes from adjusting properly to the dark. The doorway at the opposite end of the room looks to be made of rusty iron.


Go back for the mattress in the previous room, and place at waters edge. Matresses are very buoyant so place yourself on mattress and using the broom stick push your self from the edge. You should gently and quickly float to the other side.
Taking the mouldy cheese, I crumple up part of it and spread to attract a few rats. I’ll then dump the liquid in the glass and place a chunk of cheese in it and place on the floor. When a rat moves into the glass I’ll use the cobble stone to block glass opening to trap the rat.
Then move on to the next room.

ROOM C:

This massive cavernous room contains a gigantic dinner table, with seats and cutlery, set up as if awaiting a banquet - there appears to be food present on the table, but lids cover the plates, so exactly what is being served is unknown to you. Candelebras in the roof provide adequate lighting. A sign next to the door you entered says "please remove shoes." A fishtank with some exotic looking fish is on one side of the room, and on the other, an extremely large and excessively strong looking man stands in front of the exit, blocking your path. He stares ahead blankly and doesn't seem to pay attention to your presence.

Ok, first removing my shoes (should also muffle cut down on my noise), if the fish tank is open I’ll fling the rat in, which should cause a disturbance with the fish that should attract the guards attention. They are expensive that guard would be in trouble. If the tank is not open at the top (built into the wall) then I’ll release the rate onto the table. While its scurrying around if the guard is not alerted to the rat I’ll throw a bit of cheese across the room so that the rat will move within view of the guard who should react. While he tries to catch/kill the rat I’ll slip through the door to freedom!


How that?

ROOM B:
Go back for the mattress in the previous room, and place at waters edge. Matresses are very buoyant so place yourself on mattress and using the broom stick push your self from the edge. You should gently and quickly float to the other side.
Taking the mouldy cheese, I crumple up part of it and spread to attract a few rats. I’ll then dump the liquid in the glass and place a chunk of cheese in it and place on the floor. When a rat moves into the glass I’ll use the cobble stone to block glass opening to trap the rat.
Then move on to the next room.

How that?

Erm, I don't know about anything else, but at no point have you actually opened the door between the second and third rooms...

Ok, only read the last page or so, so lets try

3m long rope.
Matches.
Mouldy block of cheese.
Rusty hacksaw.
Can of whipped cream.
A barbie doll, minus head.
A compact disc labelled "Greatest Hits of the 80s: Volume Three"
An empty glass, to be filled with a random nondescript fluid.
A broomstick.
A slightly worn "I heart NY" T-shirt
A map of Warsaw city center, written in Polish.
A torch. (flashlight)
Two AA Batteries.
A remote controlled car.
A book about advanced calculus.
A permanent marker.

You must escape these three rooms within 6 hours:

ROOM A:

It contains a suspiciously soiled matress on the ground, and a small grate near the ceiling allows a tiny amount of light to filter through. The grate isn't large enough to squeeze through, but you could fit an arm through if you could reach and one of the bars were removed, somehow. The walls are slimy and moss covered, and the same is true of the floor. The cobblestones in the floor are somewhat loose, and with no small effort, you could probably remove one, but it would make some noise. A small pit in the corner contains stuff you probably don't want to know about. A wooden door leads to the next room.

Ok. Move the mattress to the wall never the grate. Fold over the mattress and step on it for extra heigt, and loop the rope around one of the bars. Now place the mattress against the door to muffle any sounds. Take both ends of the rope and pull, use you weight to pull the bar out. Once removed use the bar a leverage to remove the cobblestones fast. The mattress should still be blocking out most of the noise.
Using the cobble stone and bar, place bar against door lock and the stone as a hammer. Smash through the lock.

ROOM B:

There is a pool in the middle - it is impossible to tell how deep it is. Aside from a small, unsafe looking moss covered ledge along the left side of the room, it is blocking your path. Several small creatures scurry around in the dark, pausing to nibble on the small clumps of fungi on the edge of the pool. There are some tree roots hanging down from the natural rock ceiling, and a small column of light pierces through a hairline crack in it - this is more detrimental than anything, though, as the bright light coming from this opening isn't enough to light the room and the contrast prevents your eyes from adjusting properly to the dark. The doorway at the opposite end of the room looks to be made of rusty iron.


Go back for the mattress in the previous room, and place at waters edge. Matresses are very buoyant so place yourself on mattress and using the broom stick push your self from the edge. You should gently and quickly float to the other side.
Taking the mouldy cheese, I crumple up part of it and spread to attract a few rats. I’ll then dump the liquid in the glass and place a chunk of cheese in it and place on the floor. When a rat moves into the glass I’ll use the cobble stone to block glass opening to trap the rat.
Then move on to the next room.

ROOM C:

This massive cavernous room contains a gigantic dinner table, with seats and cutlery, set up as if awaiting a banquet - there appears to be food present on the table, but lids cover the plates, so exactly what is being served is unknown to you. Candelebras in the roof provide adequate lighting. A sign next to the door you entered says "please remove shoes." A fishtank with some exotic looking fish is on one side of the room, and on the other, an extremely large and excessively strong looking man stands in front of the exit, blocking your path. He stares ahead blankly and doesn't seem to pay attention to your presence.

Ok, first removing my shoes (should also muffle cut down on my noise), if the fish tank is open I’ll fling the rat in, which should cause a disturbance with the fish that should attract the guards attention. They are expensive that guard would be in trouble. If the tank is not open at the top (built into the wall) then I’ll release the rate onto the table. While its scurrying around if the guard is not alerted to the rat I’ll throw a bit of cheese across the room so that the rat will move within view of the guard who should react. While he tries to catch/kill the rat I’ll slip through the door to freedom!


How that?

Read the whole thread, Kanabia has yet to let anyone get out in one go yet, I'm sure you'll get stopped at smashing the lock and pulling the bar may cause you injury.

Ruffy's lighter would melt it.
Not if it's a wooden sword. :)

Don't worry, you don't have to answer that one...:p

Not if it's a wooden sword. :)

Don't worry, you don't have to answer that one...:p

Hmmm, then you'd have a flaming sword. Interesting.

*flicks lighter*

*flicks lighter*
*prods Ruffy with wooden sword*

This is the ultimate showdown.......

*prods Ruffy with wooden sword*

*flames I V Stalin*

http://www.prostunts.net/SteveTrugliaFireStunt2005x300.jpg

<SNIP>

*grumble grumble*

Hey, idiots. Read the rules. You have to wait for him to tell you what happens after EACH ACTION.

*grumble grumble*

Hey, idiots. Read the rules. You have to wait for him to tell you what happens after EACH ACTION.

Hey now, little kid..

No name calling!

*grumble grumble*

Hey, idiots. Read the rules. You have to wait for him to tell you what happens after EACH ACTION.

Maybe you should read them yourself, since the rules only say one room at a time.

Maybe you should brush up on the forum rules about flaming too ;)

Maybe you should read them yourself, since the rules only say one room at a time.

Maybe you should brush up on the forum rules about flaming too ;)

He thinks he knows them so good.

Just look at all of his threads in Moderation!

*flames I V Stalin*

http://www.prostunts.net/SteveTrugliaFireStunt2005x300.jpg

*lights sword* http://www.edenstarbooks.com/images/theo_beale.jpg

*lights cigarette with flaming sword* :cool:

*lights sword* http://www.edenstarbooks.com/images/theo_beale.jpg

*lights cigarette with flaming sword* :cool:

Forbidden!

Kanabia:

You can only remove hinges from a door that swings toward you. But this post seems to imply that the door swings away from you.

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11844228&postcount=45

Also, hacksaws cannot be used to cut smooth planar surfaces because the hacksaw is thicker than its blades at both ends. You would have to drill a hole in the door before you could use it to cut the wood.

Kanabia:

You can only remove hinges from a door that swings toward you. But this post seems to imply that the door swings away from you.

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11844228&postcount=45
Like all good things, the door swings both ways. ;)

Also, hacksaws cannot be used to cut smooth planar surfaces because the hacksaw is thicker than its blades at both ends. You would have to drill a hole in the door before you could use it to cut the wood.
Since when did this thread bear any relation to the real world?

Forbidden!
Eh?:confused:

Eh?:confused:

Your linky made me have a 403




Is Kanabia still alive?

Your linky made me have a 403
Oh, hang on a sec.

Is Kanabia still alive?
He was posting earlier today...

Oh, hang on a sec.
Yay! I wanna find out how on earth someone gets out of here.

He was posting earlier today...

Goody, I wanna find out how on earth someone gets out of here.

Yay! I wanna find out how on earth someone gets out of here.

Goody, I wanna find out how on earth someone gets out of here.
:confused: :confused:

Anyway.

http://img293.imageshack.us/img293/5107/flamingswordbz1.jpg

:confused: :confused:

Anyway.

http://img293.imageshack.us/img293/5107/flamingswordbz1.jpg

Wewt, flaming sword of pwn.

Is it too late to get in on this?

:confused: :confused:

Anyway.

http://img293.imageshack.us/img293/5107/flamingswordbz1.jpg

Pfft!

*gets lighter fluid*

Pfft!

*gets lighter fluid*

Hmmm...

*shows off* (http://ic3.deviantart.com/fs9/i/2006/145/e/c/Fire_Sword_ID_by_Chimeara_.jpg)

Is it too late to get in on this?Well, theoretically, no.

But practically, it doesn't look like Kanabiana is going to keep this going.

Well, theoretically, no.

But practically, it doesn't look like Kanabiana is going to keep this going.
It's probably your fault, for pissing him off. ;)

It's probably your fault, for pissing him off. ;)

:rolleyes: :( :rolleyes: :p

He lost his last shred of ambition to finish this thing what felt like a good two weeks ago. :p

(Is that an actual English sentence? o_O)

:rolleyes: :( :rolleyes: :p

He lost his last shred of ambition to finish this thing what felt like a good two weeks ago. :p

(Is that an actual English sentence? o_O)
I understood it, so, uh, maybe.

Guess he'll never write it up as a proper text adventure, then.

Hmmm...

*shows off* (http://ic3.deviantart.com/fs9/i/2006/145/e/c/Fire_Sword_ID_by_Chimeara_.jpg)

You fail at linkage. :p

*grumble grumble*

Hey, idiots. Read the rules. You have to wait for him to tell you what happens after EACH ACTION.

I read the rules.

o, how do you escape the dungeon? To begin with, tell me which items you are choosing, and one room at a time please. You may progress through one action at a time, or through outlining your entire intended set of actions in the room at once. And remember - this is my dungeon, and I make the rules. None of this "door is made of crumbly plywood" stuff.

ones room at a time. which i did. at no point does it say one room per post. So kiss my ass.

P.S. thanks rusffino & ifreann

You fail at linkage. :p
What is it with you lot? The links work fine for me. Huh. Hang on a sec...again. :rolleyes: :p

Edit: There. (http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/8201/showoffjl8.jpg)

What is it with you lot? The links work fine for me. Huh. Hang on a sec...again. :rolleyes: :p

Edit: There. (http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/8201/showoffjl8.jpg)

Pfft, I could do that drunk.

Pfft, I could do that drunk.
You'd probably only try it drunk. :p

You'd probably only try it drunk. :p

And in my head I'd succeed.

And in my head I'd succeed.
And in reality you'd have set fire to the bar. And yourself, and everyone around you.

And in reality you'd have set fire to the bar. And yourself, and everyone around you.

Again.