NationStates Jolt Archive

Let's be honest with ourselves here: being left handed is a choice. If you think you're left handed by nature then obviously you're only fooling yourself. Personally I find left handed people disgusting, as does my religion. It makes me sick to see those lefties parading their perversity in public and peddling their revolting 'left handed scissors' to our children. They want our children to grow up thinking that it's acceptable, or even natural, to be left handed. In reality, their abnormality is nothing a good beating wouldn't fix.

There is a proven correlation between crime rates and left handedness.
http://www.anythingleft-handed.co.uk/images/shop_large.jpg
Here is a left handed shop is London. The crime rate, including shooting and violent crimes, has been rising in London recently. Coincidence? I think not.

In conclusion, left handedness is an abomination and we shouldn't condone it by allowing lefties to marry. Who's with me?

EDIT: Please read this (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11166307&postcount=234) before posting. Thanks.

NEVER!

We gotta emasculate all EBIL Molly Doogers.

http://www.p0stwh0res.com/images/birgittroll01.gif

Let's be honest with ourselves here: being left handed is a choice. If you think you're left handed by nature then obviously you're only fooling yourself. Personally I find left handed people disgusting, as does my religion. It makes me sick to see those lefties parading their perversity in public and peddling their revolting 'left handed scissors' to our children. They want our children to grow up thinking that it's acceptable, or even natural, to be left handed. In reality, their abnormality is nothing a good beating wouldn't fix.

There is a proven correlation between crime rates and left handedness.
http://www.anythingleft-handed.co.uk/images/shop_large.jpg
Here is a left handed shop is London. The crime rate, including shooting and violent crimes, has been rising in London recently. Coincidence? I think not.

In conclusion, left handedness is an abomination and we shouldn't condone it by allowing lefties to marry. Who's with me?

It's true!

Even the word 'sinister' actually means 'left-handed'.

Evil. EVIL!

You know, Its funny because I was thinking of making a similar thread last night.

This is a very odd outlook on left-handedness.
I'm right handed, but my brother is a lefty. Being left haned has nothing to do with marriage, or breeding. Two lefties can birth a right handed person.
Whatever.

Interesting illustrative point. Of course, up until the last century, being lefthanded was in fact persecutable. It is still frowned upon in many cultures.

http://www.p0stwh0res.com/images/birgittroll01.gif

That image was obviously created by a left handed artist. You prove my point!

Burn em!

This is a very odd outlook on left-handedness.
I'm right handed, but my brother is a lefty. Being left haned has nothing to do with marriage, or breeding. Two lefties can birth a right handed person.
Whatever.

Exactly my point: it's a choice! They are without excuse!

It's true!

Even the word 'sinister' actually means 'left-handed'.

Evil. EVIL!

Yup. That was God using language to show his disapproval of left-handedness.

This is a very odd outlook on left-handedness.
I'm right handed, but my brother is a lefty. Being left haned has nothing to do with marriage, or breeding. Two lefties can birth a right handed person.
Whatever.
Darling, that was the point.

A straight person may have a gay sibling. Being gay has nothing to do with a person's fertility, their ability to love, their ability to parent, or anything else, which is why it SHOULDN'T have anything to do with marriage. Two straight people can produce a gay child, just as two gay parents could produce a straight child.

Whatever, indeed.

Hold on, hold on, who said anything about gay people?

Trying to offend some random group?

I'm a lefty, yes. And heavenly proud of it.

And I think, even if this is a joke, that this thread should be closed.

Or, we could try to make a thread using the same text as this one, but switching the "left handed" parts, for black/jew/catholic/americans or whatever, to see how many people find it funny.

Hold on, hold on, who said anything about gay people?
*Raises hand*

I did. The whole point is to underline how silly it is to deny equal rights based on some random, supposedly "sinful" trait. I once started a thread that cited Bible passages to defend why people who eat shellfish should be prohibited from marrying.

Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Ronald McDonald... They all had one or more left hands.

Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Ronald McDonald... They all had one or more left hands.
My God...it's all so clear now! How could we not have seen it earlier?!

Hold on, hold on, who said anything about gay people?
Given the recent attempt to create a constitutional amendment in the United States banning gay marriage, is this not obvious?

Given the recent attempt to create a constitutional amendment in the United States banning gay marriage, is this not obvious?
Well, but the difference is that left-handed people are just people who are left-handed, while gay people are EEEEEEVVVVVVIIIILLLLLL!!!!!!

Somebody think of the children. Why, oh why, won't you think of the children.

Trying to offend some random group?

I'm a lefty, yes. And heavenly proud of it.

And I think, even if this is a joke, that this thread should be closed.

Or, we could try to make a thread using the same text as this one, but switching the "left handed" parts, for black/jew/catholic/americans or whatever, to see how many people find it funny.

Check your TG.

I'm the son of a leftie. Does this mean I've one half left hand?

Trying to offend some random group?

I'm a lefty, yes. And heavenly proud of it.

And I think, even if this is a joke, that this thread should be closed.

Or, we could try to make a thread using the same text as this one, but switching the "left handed" parts, for black/jew/catholic/americans or whatever, to see how many people find it funny.

As recently as the 1970s, students in Japan were severely disciplined for attempting to do things lefthanded, so this is in fact a legitimate concern. However, I believe Bottle has the correct interpretation of the intent of this thread.

Well, but the difference is that left-handed people are just people who are left-handed, while gay people are EEEEEEVVVVVVIIIILLLLLL!!!!!!

Somebody think of the children. Why, oh why, won't you think of the children.

But at least the homosexuals don't expect their own scissors!!! Those damn lefties think they're too good for our scissors so they make their own.

Ban this sick filth!

Some people on this forum seem to have a broken sarcasm detector.

Oh, and LOL! :D

Interesting, though, that being left-handed was actually seen as evil not too long ago.

Trying to offend some random group?

I'm a lefty, yes. And heavenly proud of it.

And I think, even if this is a joke, that this thread should be closed.

Or, we could try to make a thread using the same text as this one, but switching the "left handed" parts, for black/jew/catholic/americans or whatever, to see how many people find it funny.
Man, I thought I was pretty extreme with the whole "I'm a lefty, dammit" with my conspiracy theory about why they give us the blunt scissors in grade school (what are you afraid of, huh?), but you've got me beat hands (not going to do it...) down. I still have my sense of humor and scope.

Darling, that was the point.

A straight person may have a gay sibling. Being gay has nothing to do with a person's fertility, their ability to love, their ability to parent, or anything else, which is why it SHOULDN'T have anything to do with marriage. Two straight people can produce a gay child, just as two gay parents could produce a straight child.

Whatever, indeed.

Whoa. What? Two gay parents can produce a straight child? I must have missed that part in biology class. A female partner in a lesbian relationship can become fertilised, but that involves a third person (someone had to provide the sperm, because her partner sure as hell can't). But two gay people cannot produce a child without the involvement (assistance) of a third party

*Raises hand*

I did. The whole point is to underline how silly it is to deny equal rights based on some random, supposedly "sinful" trait. I once started a thread that cited Bible passages to defend why people who eat shellfish should be prohibited from marrying.


We ain't on about changing the rights of EBIL leftpaws.
We're just gonna change the fact they breathe air.

:sniper:

But at least the homosexuals don't expect their own scissors!!! Those damn lefties think they're too good for our scissors so they make their own.

Ban this sick filth!
Lefties are trying to force society to accept their devient lifestyle. They are trying to force their perversions into the mainstream. They should just shut up, get back in the closet, and learn to use right-handed can openers. Can openers have been made for right-handed people for the entire length of human history, so why should we change our traditions just to accomodate some selfish minority?

Whoa. What? Two gay parents can produce a straight child? I must have missed that part in biology class.

Clearly you did. Homosexuality is not in any way linked to infertility.


A female partner in a lesbian relationship can become fertilised, but that involves a third person (someone had to provide the sperm, because her partner sure as hell can't). But two gay people cannot produce a child without the involvement (assistance) of a third party
A gay man and a gay woman are just as capable of producing offspring as a straight man and a straight woman. Two gay people, biological offspring. See how that works out?

Let's be honest with ourselves here: being left handed is a choice. If you think you're left handed by nature then obviously you're only fooling yourself. Personally I find left handed people disgusting, as does my religion. It makes me sick to see those lefties parading their perversity in public and peddling their revolting 'left handed scissors' to our children. They want our children to grow up thinking that it's acceptable, or even natural, to be left handed. In reality, their abnormality is nothing a good beating wouldn't fix.

There is a proven correlation between crime rates and left handedness.
http://www.anythingleft-handed.co.uk/images/shop_large.jpg
Here is a left handed shop is London. The crime rate, including shooting and violent crimes, has been rising in London recently. Coincidence? I think not.

In conclusion, left handedness is an abomination and we shouldn't condone it by allowing lefties to marry. Who's with me?
Worse than that, they want to corrupt our children in their huge evil conspiracy and make them become left-handed! It's a spreading disease!

Whoa. What? Two gay parents can produce a straight child? I must have missed that part in biology class. A female partner in a lesbian relationship can become fertilised, but that involves a third person (someone had to provide the sperm, because her partner sure as hell can't). But two gay people cannot produce a child without the involvement (assistance) of a third party
I think you know and are just being snippy that this refers to the fear that if a gay or lesbian couple raises a child, insiminated or adopted, that that upbringing will turn them t eh gay.

Whoa. What? Two gay parents can produce a straight child? I must have missed that part in biology class. A female partner in a lesbian relationship can become fertilised, but that involves a third person (someone had to provide the sperm, because her partner sure as hell can't). But two gay people cannot produce a child without the involvement (assistance) of a third party

I think you missed TOO many biology lessons.

What if one of the gay people is a gay man, and the other is a gay woman?

Lefties are trying to force society to accept their devient lifestyle. They are trying to force their perversions into the mainstream. They should just shut up, get back in the closet, and learn to use right-handed can openers. Can openers have been made for right-handed people for the entire length of human history, so why should we change our traditions just to accomodate some selfish minority?


Is it your position that the majority isn't the majority?

Democracy = The Dictate Of The Majority.

If you don't like it, you can have a nice day.
Somewhere else.

Clearly you did. Homosexuality is not in any way linked to infertility.


A gay man and a gay woman are just as capable of producing offspring as a straight man and a straight woman. Two gay people, biological offspring. See how that works out?

But not through each other. A gay man cannot impregnate another gay man. See how that works out?

http://www.p0stwh0res.com/images/makeitstop.jpg

Is it your position that the majority isn't the majority?

Democracy = The Dictate Of The Majority.

If you don't like it, you can have a nice day.
Somewhere else.
You're right, I don't like living by the principle that the majority always rules. That's why I live in a country where the Founders specifically and deliberately designed the government to prevent that kind of system.

But at least the homosexuals don't expect their own scissors!!! Those damn lefties think they're too good for our scissors so they make their own.

Ban this sick filth!
Oh, and it's become even worse since they're online, too.

http://www.onehandedkeyboard.com/imagesfolder/leftkeyb.gif

It's an abomination.

Lefties are trying to force society to accept their devient lifestyle. They are trying to force their perversions into the mainstream. They should just shut up, get back in the closet, and learn to use right-handed can openers. Can openers have been made for right-handed people for the entire length of human history, so why should we change our traditions just to accomodate some selfish minority?
I had a very nice lefthanded can opener in college. My housemates would complain, "Dude! Your can opener's broken!"
I would reply, "No it's not." Zip zip zip. Can open. Slack jaw look of amazement on housemate's face. I'm still not sure who of them ever figured it out ;)

Lefties are trying to force society to accept their devient lifestyle. They are trying to force their perversions into the mainstream. They should just shut up, get back in the closet, and learn to use right-handed can openers. Can openers have been made for right-handed people for the entire length of human history, so why should we change our traditions just to accomodate some selfish minority?

Exactly! None of this would be happening if we still had prayer in schools and the ten commandments in court rooms. We should stop buying this foul, left-handed equipment and use the money to offer rehabilitation programmes to help the degenerate lefties.

But not through each other. A gay man cannot impregnate another gay man. See how that works out?
So what? I said two gay people can produce a biological child who is straight. If you think all gay people are male, you've got another thing coming to ya. :)

You're right, I don't like living by the principle that the majority always rules. That's why I live in a country where the Founders specifically and deliberately designed the government to prevent that kind of system.

Yep. In your place, it's up to the States.
Don't like it either?

You guys are all wrong. The right-handed world is the backwards one. See being lefty, I have to learn how to do everything lefty and its doubly tough cause all they teach you is how to do things right-handedly. We lefties are the supieror bunch.

Aren't they already allowed to marry?

"Should left handed people be allowed to marry?"

NO! They should all be rounded up, rendered sterile, and placed in internment camps until their sort disappears from the planet forever! They're an abomination! How dare they suggest that their sort are the same as us right-thinking, right-handed people??? :mp5:

Worse than that, they want to corrupt our children in their huge evil conspiracy and make them become left-handed! It's a spreading disease!

Our children are being fooled into thinking that it's 'cool' to be left handed by the pretty left-handed scissors. We have to act before it's too late and save them from temptation.

Yep. In your place, it's up to the States.
Don't like it either?
Um, not so much. The US government, both at the state and federal level, is specifically engineered to prevent pure democracy. Seriously, this is like Freshman Civics...the US is not a democracy, never has been, and some of the proudest moments in the history of our country have come about over the objection of the majority.

I think you missed TOO many biology lessons.

What if one of the gay people is a gay man, and the other is a gay woman?

Then they aren't a homosexual couple. I'm not arguing that gay men or women aren't fertile. Of course they are. It's just that they can't produce a child without a third party.

Aren't they already allowed to marry?

Yes but we hope to stop that. We're going to save them from themselves.

Is it your position that the majority isn't the majority?

Democracy = The Dictate Of The Majority.

If you don't like it, you can have a nice day.
Somewhere else.
Are there any democracies in the world? For all the rhetoric, the US is still a republic, not a democracy.

Our children are being fooled into thinking that it's 'cool' to be left handed by the pretty left-handed scissors. We have to act before it's too late and save them from temptation.
Left-handed activists are trying to recruit children to their deviant lifestyle. They seduce our innocent young people with fancy lefty scissors featuring popular cartoon characters! They distribute left-handed handwriting booklets in grade school classes! Teachers will even chastise right-handed children if they pick on a left-handed classmate!

This message of tolerance for the left-handed is a pervasive agenda that, if left unchecked, will tear apart the very fabric of our nation.

No rights for Lefts! No rights for Lefts!!

Um, not so much. The US government, both at the state and federal level, is specifically engineered to prevent pure democracy. Seriously, this is like Freshman Civics...the US is not a democracy, never has been, and some of the proudest moments in the history of our country have come about over the objection of the majority.

So, in your place, it is all decided by the People and the States.
9th and 10th Amendment. ( As I have been arguin in the senatorial ban-thingie, which I am opposed against. )
Don't like it?
Have a nice day - somewhere else.

http://www.p0stwh0res.com/images/makeitstop.jpg

Everyday I too pray for the disease of left-handedness to stop. Sadly my prayers have yet to be answered.

*Raises hand*

I did. The whole point is to underline how silly it is to deny equal rights based on some random, supposedly "sinful" trait. I once started a thread that cited Bible passages to defend why people who eat shellfish should be prohibited from marrying.

http://www.godhatesshrimp.com/

An old'n, but a good'n. (As well as the obligatory http://www.godhatesfigs.com/)

Then they aren't a homosexual couple. I'm not arguing that gay men or women aren't fertile. Of course they are. It's just that they can't produce a child without a third party.
Many heterosexual couples cannot produce a child without a third party. What's your freaking point?

"Should left handed people be allowed to marry?"

NO! They should all be rounded up, rendered sterile, and placed in internment camps until their sort disappears from the planet forever! They're an abomination! How dare they suggest that their sort are the same as us right-thinking, right-handed people??? :mp5:
Of course, given that our brains are cross-wired, lefties are the only ones in their right minds ;)

So what? I said two gay people can produce a biological child who is straight. If you think all gay people are male, you've got another thing coming to ya. :)

Ha, all right. The gay male thing was an example (too many keystrokes to right in or lesbian, etc. :) ). I thought that's what you were getting at, but whe you say that two gay people can produce a child, the immediate presumption is that they are producing a child as a direct result of their relationship with each other.

So, in your place, it is all decided by the People and the States.
9th and 10th Amendment. ( As I have been arguin in the senatorial ban-thingie, which I am opposed against. )
Don't like it?
Have a nice day - somewhere else.
Um, yeah, okay then.

I'm done with this particular hijack. Thanks! :)

Well I have to go and walk the dog (with a right handed leash naturally). I'll be back later.

Ha, all right. The gay male thing was an example (too many keystrokes to right in or lesbian, etc. :) ). I thought that's what you were getting at, but whe you say that two gay people can produce a child, the immediate presumption is that they are producing a child as a direct result of their relationship with each other.
Yes, that's true, you did leap to an incorrect assumption. But I forgive you.

Then they aren't a homosexual couple. I'm not arguing that gay men or women aren't fertile. Of course they are. It's just that they can't produce a child without a third party.

So? I had a sterile friend who ALSO couldn't reproduce with his 'straight-sex' partner without a third party.

What is your point?

If all we screwed for was babies, I think you'd find human relationships would be MUCH different.

Dont dis the left handed people. If you think about it lefties usr the right side of there brain. All you haters should relize that rightys use there left (or to quote a earlier thread sinester) side of there brain.

Our children are being fooled into thinking that it's 'cool' to be left handed by the pretty left-handed scissors. We have to act before it's too late and save them from temptation.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/classic/kennyeverett/gallery/images/640/18.jpg

"Round 'em up, put 'em in a field, and BOMB THE BASTARDS!"

Easy when you know how.

Many heterosexual couples cannot produce a child without a third party. What's your freaking point?

I didn't say that heterosexual couples didn't need a third party, and I know a few that do. My point is in my post right before this one. (too lazy to repeat it)

Left-handed activists are trying to recruit children to their deviant lifestyle. They seduce our innocent young people with fancy lefty scissors featuring popular cartoon characters! They distribute left-handed handwriting booklets in grade school classes! Teachers will even chastise right-handed children if they pick on a left-handed classmate!

This message of tolerance for the left-handed is a pervasive agenda that, if left unchecked, will tear apart the very fabric of our nation.

No rights for Lefts! No rights for Lefts!!

It's a well known fact that 'left-handers' recruit 'normal' kids to their deviant handedness.

So? I had a sterile friend who ALSO couldn't reproduce with his 'straight-sex' partner without a third party.

What is your point?

If all we screwed for was babies, I think you'd find human relationships would be MUCH different.

My point = check post #59

Why do you all hate lefties, Next are you going to kill people who put peanutbutter down before jelly?

So, in your place, it is all decided by the People and the States.
9th and 10th Amendment. ( As I have been arguin in the senatorial ban-thingie, which I am opposed against. )
Don't like it?
Have a nice day - somewhere else.

You realise 'opposed against'... means you support it?

My point = check post #59

Yes - the problem was you made an assumption, that proved invalid AND irrelevent.

Left-handed activists are trying to recruit children to their deviant lifestyle. They seduce our innocent young people with fancy lefty scissors featuring popular cartoon characters! They distribute left-handed handwriting booklets in grade school classes! Teachers will even chastise right-handed children if they pick on a left-handed classmate!

This message of tolerance for the left-handed is a pervasive agenda that, if left unchecked, will tear apart the very fabric of our nation.

No rights for Lefts! No rights for Lefts!!
Okay, this one sticks-because as I've said, it's my conspiracy theory-
Seriously, what's up with this:
http://www.countryknives.com/store/assets/product_images/thumbs/MUN830-4.jpg
Why do the lefties get the 'safety' scissors? Are you afraid we're going to get stabby because the desks all have support for your right hand writing arm? That we're going to prick ourselves and expose you to our tainted lefty blood?

I contend that I would have been marvelous at arts and crafts had we not been shackled with your scissors of opression-you're trying to keep us down!!!

Yes - the problem was you made an assumption, that proved invalid AND irrelevent.
I'm so confused as to what he's arguing about. I must be getting old...

Why do you all hate lefties, Next are you going to kill people who put peanutbutter down before jelly?
You put the jelly down first?!?!
I suppose your toilet paper rolls off the bottom as well?

You realise 'opposed against'... means you support it?

Sorry.
Let me clarify that.
I oppose ramrodding a total ban on gay marriage down the throat of the people.
If the Sovereign State of Massachussetts wants to keep gay partnerships legal, then it is no business of the inhabitants of Arizona to stop 'em.

And vice versa!

You put the jelly down first?!?!
I suppose your toilet paper rolls off the bottom as well?

It was a joke. It must have been. That would just be SO wrong...

Why do you all hate lefties, Next are you going to kill people who put peanutbutter down before jelly?
See? First you let (us) lefties marry and soon people are putting peanut butter down before jelly...on the same piece of bread!!!

Is it your position that the majority isn't the majority?

Democracy = The Dictate Of The Majority.

If you don't like it, you can have a nice day.
Somewhere else.
Too bad we dont live in a pure democracy (at least those of us in the US)

We have rules that are out of the scope of an average popularity contest.

What if I do. If you are going top hate, Hate everyone not just those that are minutly diffrent then you, Whoops that is everyone.

Okay, this one sticks-because as I've said, it's my conspiracy theory-
Seriously, what's up with this:
http://www.countryknives.com/store/assets/product_images/thumbs/MUN830-4.jpg
Why do the lefties get the 'safety' scissors? Are you afraid we're going to get stabby because the desks all have support for your right hand writing arm? That we're going to prick ourselves and expose you to our tainted lefty blood?

I contend that I would have been marvelous at arts and crafts had we not been shackled with your scissors of opression-you're trying to keep us down!!!
Lefties receive special "safety" scissors because the Librul establishment wants to promote the left-handed lifestyle. They want to push left-handedness into the mainstream, and they are bigotted against all the good, clean, virtuous right-handed children. They want to help the Lefties take over the schools, so they expose right-handed kids to dangerously sharp scissors while providing better, safer scissors to the Lefties.

Yes - the problem was you made an assumption, that proved invalid AND irrelevent.

It was not irrelevant. This thread is clearly dealing with homosexuality here, and the post I responded to, in context, sounded an awful lot like "A hetero couple can produce a gay child, and a gay couple can produce a straight child." And my point was valid--I was arguing biology. I made an assumption, but it was hardly unsubstantiated.

Sorry.
Let me clarify that.
I oppose ramrodding a total ban on gay marriage down the throat of the people.
If the Sovereign State of Massachussetts wants to keep gay partnerships legal, then it is no business of the inhabitants of Arizona to stop 'em.

And vice versa!

I agree.

rightys get everything leftys get, so get over it

See? First you let (us) lefties marry and soon people are putting peanut butter down before jelly...on the same piece of bread!!!

Equality is a slippery slope, people, and if you give it to the lefties you have to give it to the peanut-butterers, and if you give it to the peanut-butterers you have to give it to the serial dog molesters and if you give it to the serial dog molesters you have to give it to the machine fetishists and the next thing you know you're being tied up by a trio of polygamist lesbian powerbooks and you can't get out because the safety word is case sensistive!

rightys get everything leftys get, so get over it
But lefties don't always get whatever righties get.

It was not irrelevant. This thread is clearly dealing with homosexuality here, and the post I responded to, in context, sounded an awful lot like "A hetero couple can produce a gay child, and a gay couple can produce a straight child." And my point was valid--I was arguing biology. I made an assumption, but it was hardly unsubstantiated.

The point was - if you combine the genes of gay person A, with the genes of gay person B - you get person C... who might OR might not be gay.

If you want to start exploring the benefits of monogamy versus polygamy from there, be my guest... but it is irrelevent to the biological question of whether 'gay parents produce gay children'.

Equality is a slippery slope, people, and if you give it to the lefties you have to give it to the peanut-butterers, and if you give it to the peanut-butterers you have to give it to the serial dog molesters and if you give it to the serial dog molesters you have to give it to the machine fetishists and the next thing you know you're being tied up by a trio of polygamist lesbian powerbooks and you can't get out because the safety word is case sensistive!


Will you stop using that ibil lttr E?

I find it dply offnsiv to my cultural practiss.

The point was - if you combine the genes of gay person A, with the genes of gay person B - you get person C... who might OR might not be gay.

If you want to start exploring the benefits of monogamy versus polygamy from there, be my guest... but it is irrelevent to the biological question of whether 'gay parents produce gay children'.
EXACTLY.

Sheesh.

Equality is a slippery slope, people, and if you give it to the lefties you have to give it to the peanut-butterers, and if you give it to the peanut-butterers you have to give it to the serial dog molesters and if you give it to the serial dog molesters you have to give it to the machine fetishists and the next thing you know you're being tied up by a trio of polygamist lesbian powerbooks and you can't get out because the safety word is case sensistive!
Yesh! We must keep the world safe for the serial dogs!

... and the next thing you know you're being tied up by a trio of polygamist lesbian powerbooks and you can't get out because the safety word is case sensistive!

Please god yes....

WTF, wait a minute, you are right. And i declare that left handed people are the only people in there right minds that rightys should not be equal to those who are superior left handed people

Equality is a slippery slope, people, and if you give it to the lefties you have to give it to the peanut-butterers, and if you give it to the peanut-butterers you have to give it to the serial dog molesters and if you give it to the serial dog molesters you have to give it to the machine fetishists and the next thing you know you're being tied up by a trio of polygamist lesbian powerbooks and you can't get out because the safety word is case sensistive!
hehe, when I graduated I almost applied to be an editor at a machine fetishist website...it paid $65k, so...Unfortunately I couldn't invision myself saying "I edit footage of women getting it on with a machine for the internet." Not so much cause I'm a prude, but more that it wasn't what I dreamed about when I said, "I want to do film!"
/hijack

Equality is a slippery slope, people, and if you give it to the lefties you have to give it to the peanut-butterers, and if you give it to the peanut-butterers you have to give it to the serial dog molesters and if you give it to the serial dog molesters you have to give it to the machine fetishists and the next thing you know you're being tied up by a trio of polygamist lesbian powerbooks and you can't get out because the safety word is case sensistive!
LMFAO!!! :D

What if I do. If you are going top hate, Hate everyone not just those that are minutly diffrent then you, Whoops that is everyone.

It's not hate... it's because we LOVE left-handers, despite their sick UNGODLY handedness.

It is our compassion for their HEATHEN, deathbringing lives, that makes us want to HELP them stop spreading their vile, twisted 'alternative lifestyle' to our children.

Look, marriage is important to keep. The reason lefties shouldnt be allowed to marry because the law is clear, one rightie and one rightie. Let the lefties have there little unions, but we must protect marriage. Oddly enough, Im left handed.

[QUOTE=Bottle]
Two straight people can produce a gay child, just as two gay parents could produce a straight child. [QUOTE]

I don't think two gay people can produce children...I really don't think they can.:|

It's not hate... it's because we LOVE left-handers, despite their sick UNGODLY handedness.

It is our compassion for their HEATHEN, deathbringing lives, that makes us want to HELP them stop spreading their vile, twisted 'alternative lifestyle' to our children.
Precisely. I'm not a bigot. I don't have a problem with left-handed people, I just think they are choosing to be deviants, and shouldn't be permitted to flaunt their perversions in public. Or get married. Or adopt children. Or tell anybody that they are left-handed. Or live on my street.

Two straight people can produce a gay child, just as two gay parents could produce a straight child.

I don't think two gay people can produce children...I really don't think they can.:|
Dude, catch up...

Two straight people can produce a gay child, just as two gay parents could produce a straight child.
I don't think two gay people can produce children...I really don't think they can.:|
Oy.

Somebody needs to start a "Birds and the Bees" thread, I guess.

Look, marriage is important to keep. The reason lefties shouldnt be allowed to marry because the law is clear, one rightie and one rightie. Let the lefties have there little unions, but we must protect marriage. Oddly enough, Im left handed.
Oh, you're a Log Cabin Lefty?

Well if we are going on a left-handed tirade, might as well get the gingers too because I happen to know a left handed ginger.

Lefties bump elbows with righties at the dinner table. There is no way man was meant to eat with either hand, it's so clear-one hand for everything, the left is just there for the other glove...

to be honest, i'm a lefty. and it's not that we're bad at all. in fact, it's all you right-handed-people that make any problems at all. many of the items made today are for right-handed people. to be able to learn to use all of these things while still preforming at our peak is difficult. you're the one making a big deal, and i don't understand why. have you ever tried to write with your left hand? it's very difficult to change the way your brain thinks. one thing you DO need to change, however, is how open you are in your thoughts. i don't run down the streets shouting "I'M A LEFTY! I'M BETTER THAN YOU ALL!!!" i just go about my business and use my left hand. you're hte ones making a big deal out of which side of my brain i use. honestly...

have you ever done a punnet square? using one, you can determine that two right-handed people can have left-handed children. so killing/neutering all of the left-handed people is just rediculous......

Precisely. I'm not a bigot. I don't have a problem with left-handed people, I just think they are choosing to be deviants, and shouldn't be permitted to flaunt their perversions in public. Or get married. Or adopt children. Or tell anybody that they are left-handed. Or live on my street.


Maybe I am a bigot.
I'm opposed to shoving value-judgements down unwilling throats.
Neither in a Democracy, nor in a Republic, do you or I have a right to shove our feelings on leftpaws down other people's throats.

Only God could grant such a Right, but as sovereign People in a democracy or a republic, we have the option to refuse the Divine Command Argument.

The same goes for any value-judgement.
I have the inalienable right to LOVE leftpaws.
You have the inalienable right to HATE leftpaws.

Well if we are going on a left-handed tirade, might as well get the gingers too because I happen to know a left handed ginger.

Are you a bit of a short arse as well?

Precisely. I'm not a bigot. I don't have a problem with left-handed people, I just think they are choosing to be deviants, and shouldn't be permitted to flaunt their perversions in public. Or get married. Or adopt children. Or tell anybody that they are left-handed. Or live on my street.
What if your children where to see a public display of left handedness?

And that damn media, glorifying left handed pitchers like it was something to aspire to...

Lefties bump elbows with righties at the dinner table. There is no way man was meant to eat with either hand, it's so clear-one hand for everything, the left is just there for the other glove...
Actually, the right is to eat with, the left to wipe with (true in many cultures!)

to be honest, i'm a lefty. and it's not that we're bad at all. in fact, it's all you right-handed-people that make any problems at all. many of the items made today are for right-handed people. to be able to learn to use all of these things while still preforming at our peak is difficult.

God has chosen to bless you with the temptation of left-handedness, so that you may learn how to properly repress your natural perversions. You should thank him for that.


you're the one making a big deal, and i don't understand why. have you ever tried to write with your left hand? it's very difficult to change the way your brain thinks.

Left-handedness is a lifestyle choice, not a biological trait!!!


one thing you DO need to change, however, is how open you are in your thoughts. i don't run down the streets shouting "I'M A LEFTY! I'M BETTER THAN YOU ALL!!!" i just go about my business and use my left hand. you're hte ones making a big deal out of which side of my brain i use. honestly...

It's good that you don't try to assert any pride in your left-handedness, but I think you really should try to feel more shame and remorse for your sinful inclinations. You don't seem to hate yourself enough for being a lefty.


have you ever done a punnet square? using one, you can determine that two right-handed people can have left-handed children. so killing/neutering all of the left-handed people is just rediculous......
Now, now, nobody is talking about KILLING left-handed people. All we're trying to do is protect the sanctity of marriage by refusing to allow lefties to corrupt our sacred institution with their twisted lifestyle.

I have the inalienable right to LOVE leftpaws.
You have the inalienable right to HATE leftpaws.

And noone has the right to take away inalienable rights of the leftpaws.

What if your children where to see a public display of left handedness?

Exactly. Children should not be exposed to that kind of behavior. How can I possibly take my kids out in public, when they might be forced to see some freak openning a beverage with his LEFT HAND? What if they were to see a left-handed person tying their shoes? How could I ever teach my children to tie their shoes correctly, if all these lefties are parading around tying their shoes the wrong way?


And that damn media, glorifying left handed pitchers like it was something to aspire to...
It's a well-known fact that librul elites in Hollywood are predominantly Lefty. Or Jewish.

And noone has the right to take away inalienable rights of the leftpaws.

Tell me what rights are inalienable, and how they are so mentioned in the Constitution.
*shrug*

Are you a bit of a short arse as well?

I really don't know how to respond to this, it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever so I will say this. Gingers are damn creepy little fuckers and when you get a left-handed one in the mix, it's time to start cleaning house.

They'll put the ring on the wrong hand with thier backwards and scary ways...

Maybe I am a bigot.
I'm opposed to shoving value-judgements down unwilling throats.
Neither in a Democracy, nor in a Republic, do you or I have a right to shove our feelings on leftpaws down other people's throats.

Only God could grant such a Right, but as sovereign People in a democracy or a republic, we have the option to refuse the Divine Command Argument.

The same goes for any value-judgement.
I have the inalienable right to LOVE leftpaws.
You have the inalienable right to HATE leftpaws.
No, no, no. I don't HATE them, I just hate their lifestyle. This isn't about the right to hate them, it's about my right to make sure that they don't go around exercising equal rights as if they were actual people or something.

No, no, no. I don't HATE them, I just hate their lifestyle. This isn't about the right to hate them, it's about my right to make sure that they don't go around exercising equal rights as if they were actual people or something.


I'll reverse it, then.
You have the inalienable right to love 'em.
I have the inalienable right to hate those evil leftpaws.


EDIT: OMG, I'm now a Galaxian Warrior. 3l!t3!

Exactly. Children should not be exposed to that kind of behavior. How can I possibly take my kids out in public, when they might be forced to see some freak openning a beverage with his LEFT HAND? What if they were to see a left-handed person tying their shoes? How could I ever teach my children to tie their shoes correctly, if all these lefties are parading around tying their shoes the wrong way?


Now, now... I'm as 'right' as they come... but, you know - sometimes you get curious - especially after a few drinks, maybe you and a couple of buddies get together and experiment a little... opening beers with the left hand, playing pool with the cue in your left hand... harmless stuff.

It doesn't MEAN anything.

Oh, you're a Log Cabin Lefty?
indeed

I'll reverse it, then.
You have the inalienable right to love 'em.
I have the inalienable right to hate those evil leftpaws.

Are you calling me a Lefty-lover?!

Are you calling me a Lefty-lover?!

Nope. I merely say you have the right to love 'em, if you wish to do so.

Now, now... I'm as 'right' as they come... but, you know - sometimes you get curious - especially after a few drinks, maybe you and a couple of buddies get together and experiment a little... opening beers with the left hand, playing pool with the cue in your left hand... harmless stuff.

It doesn't MEAN anything.
Unless you catch something with your left hand, you're still a right no matter how many throws you make...

Rightys are the real evil, When leftys were told to use there right hand more evil crossed our land then ever before, Before you hate our lifestyle get to know a lefty. they are human

Rightys are the real evil, When leftys were told to use there right hand more evil crossed our land then ever before, Before you hate our lifestyle get to know a lefty. they are human

Hey guys, I caught one.

Left-handedness goes against nature. Have you ever seen left-handed animals? I don't think so! Most animals don't even have hands!!

Besides, left-handedness clearly disproves evolution, because it serves no practical benefits whatsoever. If evolution was true, left-handed people had died out long ago!

Now, now... I'm as 'right' as they come... but, you know - sometimes you get curious - especially after a few drinks, maybe you and a couple of buddies get together and experiment a little... opening beers with the left hand, playing pool with the cue in your left hand... harmless stuff.

It doesn't MEAN anything.
Well, I know most of us have probably had thoughts of a lefty nature from time to time. Sometimes you've got your right arm full of parcels, and you slip up and used your left hand to open a door or dial your phone. But the important thing is that you not ENJOY it. Hands are to be used only for productive purposes.

Lefties would have you believe that it's okay to use one's hands to play videogames, or to scratch an itch just because you feel like it, or any number of other selfish activities. Well, the Bible tells us that God didn't give us hands to be used for personal pleasure. Hands are to be used for productive things like toiling and building arks and slaughtering heathens.

Here is a Surah from the Quran about left handed people:

Then the people of the right hand--how happy the people of the right hand!

And the people of the left hand--how wretched the people of the left hand!

And they who were foremost on earth--the foremost still. [Probably the first to embrace Islam.] These are they who shall be brought nigh to God,

How many people knew about that? :D

I'm not sure if it has been pointed out yet, but in Arabic culture the left hand has always been seen as filthy and corrupt. Part of the taboo has resulted because the left hand was traditionally used to clean yourself after the bathroom. So, the term "people of the left hand" or general references to the left at all are insulting in Islamic culture.

As absurd as Bottle tried to make the bigotedness against left handed people sound, the entire Muslim world actually believes it.

polar bears are all left handed

Left-handedness goes against nature. Have you ever seen left-handed animals? I don't think so! Most animals don't even have hands!!

Yeah, damn right! You don't see lions out there using left-handed can openers, do you? Well, so there!


Besides, left-handedness clearly disproves evolution, because it serves no practical benefits whatsoever. If evolution was true, left-handed people had died out long ago!
The Darwinists are all a bunch of closet Lefties, anyhow.

I love this thread so much, I almost want to hump it.

*runs off to rate thread with 5 gold stars *

polar bears are all left handed
Pfft, yeah, right. Sure they are. Just like all those made-up gay penguins.

When will you filthy Lefties stop trying to pretend that your perversions are natural?

Well, I know most of us have probably had thoughts of a lefty nature from time to time. Sometimes you've got your right arm full of parcels, and you slip up and used your left hand to open a door or dial your phone. But the important thing is that you not ENJOY it. Hands are to be used only for productive purposes.

Lefties would have you believe that it's okay to use one's hands to play videogames, or to scratch an itch just because you feel like it, or any number of other selfish activities. Well, the Bible tells us that God didn't give us hands to be used for personal pleasure. Hands are to be used for productive things like toiling and building arks and slaughtering heathens.

Well, OBVIOUSLY I didn't enjoy it. Well - opening a coke left handed 'feels' okay... but you KNOW it's wrong, even as you do it...

I love this thread so much, I almost want to hump it.

*runs off to rate thread with 5 gold stars *
As long as you don't do it 'dress left'...

Pfft, yeah, right. Sure they are. Just like all those made-up gay penguins.

[Out of character for a moment: I just read my own post, and suddenly started picturing a fabulous gay penguin getting himself all made up before a night out in the Village. Okay, on with the thread, never mind me...]

polar bears are all left handed

Left-pawed.

Ok I geuss you can modify the facts any way you wish but monkys have also been knowen to favor one hand over the other.

Ok I geuss you can modify the facts any way you wish but monkys have also been knowen to favor one hand over the other.

Yea, their right one.

I contend that I would have been marvelous at arts and crafts had we not been shackled with your scissors of opression-you're trying to keep us down!!! I will so totally sig this. Which I'm only announcing here to get another shot at those 5 gold stars, because it didn't work the first time :(.

°°° In the spirit of tolerance and diversity, this post was typed with my left hand only. Yes, it sucked. But it was worth it.°°°

[Out of character for a moment: I just read my own post, and suddenly started picturing a fabulous gay penguin getting himself all made up before a night out in the Village. Okay, on with the thread, never mind me...]

Polar creatures, right? All dressed up and nowhere to go... :(

Precisely. I'm not a bigot. I don't have a problem with left-handed people, I just think they are choosing to be deviants, and shouldn't be permitted to flaunt their perversions in public. Or get married. Or adopt children. Or tell anybody that they are left-handed. Or live on my street.
Not to mention chaperone my children ... participate in our scouting events ... or participate in left handed activities of any kind even in their own bedroom

Not to mention chaperone my children ... participate in our scouting events ... or participate in left handed activities of any kind even in their own bedroom
You know, I heard that the ACLU is trying to force the Boy Scouts to have left-handed scouting masters. How sick is that? They'll start teaching our sons to tie granny knots left-handedly. They'll be starting hot, seductive left-handed fires!! Our morally-straight sons will be encouraged to pitch left-handed tents!!!

this thread was good... in the beginning it was funny but now you guys are taking it way to far

this thread was good... in the beginning it was funny but now you guys are taking it way to far

Meditate on it.

You know what the problem is! Its that damn Hollywood glamorizing lefthandedness

I mean for god sakes there was a whole SERIES about a southpaw

I say we ban the sale of Rocky all together

...this may be the stupidest thread on this whole board. Wow.

...this may be the stupidest thread on this whole board. Wow.
And you just posted on it!

Mwa ha ha, stupid by association!!!

...this may be the stupidest thread on this whole board. Wow.
:eek: You've waited two months to say that?

You know, I heard that the ACLU is trying to force the Boy Scouts to have left-handed scouting masters. How sick is that? They'll start teaching our sons to tie granny knots left-handedly. They'll be starting hot, seductive left-handed fires!! Our morally-straight sons will be encouraged to pitch left-handed tents!!!
Wont somebody PLEASE think of the children?!

this thread was good... in the beginning it was funny but now you guys are taking it way to far

I bet your left-handed aren't you? Probably a ginger sympathizer as well. Treason!!!


*Dude, at 4 pages, this thing hasn't even started

this thread was good... in the beginning it was funny but now you guys are taking it way to far
Are we taking it too far? Or are we not taking it too far enough?!

Are we taking it too far? Or are we not taking it too far enough?!

Taking it way, WAY too far, would actually be appropriate, no?

to be honest, i'm a lefty. and it's not that we're bad at all. in fact, it's all you right-handed-people that make any problems at all. many of the items made today are for right-handed people. to be able to learn to use all of these things while still preforming at our peak is difficult. you're the one making a big deal, and i don't understand why. have you ever tried to write with your left hand? it's very difficult to change the way your brain thinks. one thing you DO need to change, however, is how open you are in your thoughts. i don't run down the streets shouting "I'M A LEFTY! I'M BETTER THAN YOU ALL!!!" i just go about my business and use my left hand. you're hte ones making a big deal out of which side of my brain i use. honestly...

have you ever done a punnet square? using one, you can determine that two right-handed people can have left-handed children. so killing/neutering all of the left-handed people is just rediculous......

I feel that this whole debate should not even exist. Why do people hate other kinds of people, the reason is because they are different and the two groups have less in common. Therefore the accusing group puts a tag or nick name on the other group to alienate them from being human so it is easier to hate a lefty or a gay because they have that tag of "lefty" or "gay". If one takes a closer look it does seem foolish, a human not liking another human, that is like the pot calling the kettle black.

I used to live in a homosexual community, which does not mean that I'm a homosexual; neither does it mean that every one else living there was homosexual. Some people choose to live there because there was less conflicts between them selves, there for it had a better community atmosphere, the same deal with lefties, now I'm not saying that lefties are homosexual, because they are not. My father is a lefty, and I am not, it was a choice that I made. That choice may have been an unconscious decision but I did make that choice my own; the choice of which hand to pick up the pacifier with, ultimately.

I tend to like left-handed people because they use the right side of their brain. the left handed people are more creative and artistic and I like that in a person, large figure heads are left handed (I’m too lazy to make a list).

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, a lefty is not just a lefty, and they are human beings. It is like discriminating agenst people who where denim. It does not make any sense.

The devil himself

http://www.anticoemoderno.it/Antico/Vinile/ingrandimenti/Survivor%20Rocky%20IV-%20Burning%20heart.jpg


They may call it "South Paw" but no matter what you call it, it is still a perversion and should have a warning label so it can not seduce our children.

Taking it way, WAY too far, would actually be appropriate, no?
Can't argue with that non-logic!

polar bears are all left handed

Polar bears also engage in cannabalism and lick their own genitals.

Do you want to go out onto the streets and find hundreds of people eating their children or pleasuring themselves with their tongues? No? Well then...

I feel that this whole debate should not even exist. Why do people hate other kinds of people, the reason is because they are different and the two groups have less in common. Therefore the accusing group puts a tag or nick name on the other group to alienate them from being human so it is easier to hate a lefty or a gay because they have that tag of "lefty" or "gay". If one takes a closer look it does seem foolish, a human not liking another human, that is like the pot calling the kettle black.

I used to live in a homosexual community, which does not mean that I'm a homosexual; neither does it mean that every one else living there was homosexual. Some people choose to live there because there was less conflicts between them selves, there for it had a better community atmosphere, the same deal with lefties, now I'm not saying that lefties are homosexual, because they are not. My father is a lefty, and I am not, it was a choice that I made. That choice may have been an unconscious decision but I did make that choice my own; the choice of which hand to pick up the pacifier with, ultimately.

I tend to like left-handed people because they use the right side of their brain. the left handed people are more creative and artistic and I like that in a person, large figure heads are left handed (I’m too lazy to make a list).

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, a lefty is not just a lefty, and they are human beings. It is like discriminating agenst people who where denim. It does not make any sense.

Pfff, you're crazy. And you think too hard, dumb it down a notch and you'll fit right in here on NSG.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, a lefty is not just a lefty, and they are human beings. It is like discriminating agenst people who where denim. It does not make any sense.
...and if we give equality to the Lefties we will have to give it to the denim-wearers, and if we give it to the denim-wearers then we'll all end up back in 1986 when the entire world was forced to wear denim shirts!

Again I understand the true nature of this thread, but stop it.

It has gone far way off the line.

Exactly. Children should not be exposed to that kind of behavior. How can I possibly take my kids out in public, when they might be forced to see some freak openning a beverage with his LEFT HAND? What if they were to see a left-handed person tying their shoes? How could I ever teach my children to tie their shoes correctly, if all these lefties are parading around tying their shoes the wrong way?


It's a well-known fact that librul elites in Hollywood are predominantly Lefty. Or Jewish.

Or Jewish, indeed! Check out how Hebrew is written! OMG, right-to-left instead of left-to-right, what the hell IS that?!! They must all be lefties! To the "re-education" camps with all of them! The Arabs, too!

...and if we give equality to the Lefties we will have to give it to the denim-wearers, and if we give it to the denim-wearers then we'll all end up back in 1986 when the entire world was forced to wear denim shirts!

Well that incident was because of Chuck Norris...

http://www.thegreyeagle.com/calendar/Chuck%20Norris.jpg

Again I understand the true nature of this thread, but stop it.

It has gone far way off the line.
If it bothers you ignore it … you have no need to read the truth about left-handed perversion if you do not wish to.

Again I understand the true nature of this thread, but stop it.

It has gone far way off the line.
You know, guys, maybe this thread has gotten out of line. I mean, it seems to have grown so powerful that it has taken control of Aelosia's body and forced him/her to click on the thread and read through every post. Probably with a finger on the LEFT HAND.

You know, guys, maybe this thread has gotten out of line. I mean, it seems to have grown so powerful that it has taken control of Aelosia's body and forced him/her to click on the thread and read through every post. Probably with a finger on the LEFT HAND.
Left handed mice … that’s disgusting left handed action.

Probably encouraged by those bi-finger mac mice.

I'm ambidextrous, does that mean that I'm really left handed but don't want to admit it?

Why do you people make gay threads every day?
Who the fuck are you still trying to prove your point to?

Are we taking it too far? Or are we not taking it too far enough?!It is a truth that all things are circular. The right-handed one who goes too far becomes left. :)

Again I understand the true nature of this thread, but stop it.

It has gone far way off the line.Nonny nonny boo boo.

I'm ambidextrous, does that mean that I'm really left handed but don't want to admit it?
Of course ... no one can be ambidextrous truly ... they will all have a slight leaning one way or another. If yours is even the slightist to the left you are a leftie

Stupid confused teenagers

I'm ambidextrous, does that mean that I'm really left handed but don't want to admit it?
Pfft, ambidextrous. Why don't you people just PICK A TEAM and play for it already?!

Why do you people make gay threads every day?
Who the fuck are you still trying to prove your point to?
What thread are you reading?

You know, guys, maybe this thread has gotten out of line. I mean, it seems to have grown so powerful that it has taken control of Aelosia's body and forced him/her to click on the thread and read through every post. Probably with a finger on the LEFT HAND.

Indeed with my left hand, but...

If you are going to be so...open towards others, then why you just ignore the gay marriage threads and get over it?

No you don't, right? Actually you started this thread to point to the fact of the intolerance on THOSE threads.

I'm not reading every post, but I already told that it was offensive, and if you give others the point of being capable of posting offensive things then it will become a flaming fuckfest.

Want this to become a cycle or what?

I'm ambidextrous, does that mean that I'm really left handed but don't want to admit it?It depends. Are you a hot female? ;)

Pfft, ambidextrous. Why don't you people just PICK A TEAM and play for it already?!

A right funny thing for you to say!

I saw you last night!
I saw you coming out of his tent!

All the people complaining about this thread, do you go into the ridiculous threads about homosexuality and say the same things?

(I want to say "at least everyone here knows that this is all bullshit" but some people don't seem to get it. That scares me.)

Indeed with my left hand, but...

If you are going to be so...open towards others, then why you just ignore the gay marriage threads and get over it?

No you don't, right? Actually you started this thread to point to the fact of the intolerance on THOSE threads.

I'm not reading every post, but I already told that it was offensive, and if you give others the point of being capable of posting offensive things then it will become a flaming fuckfest.

Want this to become a cycle or what?

I can think of many things much more offensive than this thread. Take left-handed people for example....

Indeed with my left hand, but...

If you are going to be so...open towards others, then why you just ignore the gay marriage threads and get over it?

No you don't, right? Actually you started this thread to point to the fact of the intolerance on THOSE threads.

I'm not reading every post, but I already told that it was offensive, and if you give others the point of being capable of posting offensive things then it will become a flaming fuckfest.

Want this to become a cycle or what?

I like the sound of the 'flaming fuckfest' bit... tell us more about that part...

Why do you people make gay threads every day?
Who the fuck are you still trying to prove your point to?
The thread grows ever more powerful! It controls the fingers and eyes of yet more forum-goers! Soon, not a single person playing NS will be able to resist entering this thread!

I'm ambidextrous, does that mean that I'm really left handed but don't want to admit it?

Nobody "is" really left-handed, people just choose not to be right-handed, because they want to go against God. You should stop using your left-hand and pray to God that you may find the right path.

Indeed with my left hand, but...

If you are going to be so...open towards others, then why you just ignore the gay marriage threads and get over it?

No you don't, right? Actually you started this thread to point to the fact of the intolerance on THOSE threads.

I'm not reading every post, but I already told that it was offensive, and if you give others the point of being capable of posting offensive things then it will become a flaming fuckfest.

Want this to become a cycle or what?
If you find this tongue in cheek too offensive you may want to either get your sense of humor fixed at the closest repair shop or stop paying attention to general.

It depends. Are you a hot female? ;)
You know, I'm not left-handed or nothing, but I still think it's totally hawt when two fine-looking girls shake each other's left hand.

It depends. Are you a hot female? ;)

I'm hot (I live in Brazil) and my gender has no impact on how I choose to manipulate things, why?

All the people complaining about this thread, do you go into the ridiculous threads about homosexuality and say the same things?

(I want to say "at least everyone here knows that this is all bullshit" but some people don't seem to get it. That scares me.)
Agreed … some people just cant make the comic leap … I sort of pity them

Nobody "is" really left-handed, people just choose not to be right-handed, because they want to go against God. You should stop using your left-hand pray to God that you may find the right path.

And God said
Thou shalt use thy right hand for thy eating, and thy greeting
And Thou shalt use thy left hand for thy wiping of thy own ass

Personally, I am shocked and disgusted that this thread was even posted. Left handedness was considered a sin in the very first millenia. I would have thought that in a thousand years, we could have moved beyond silly and supersticious persecutions. At one time, we also believed the world was flat, didn't we? Also that the sky was a big piece of fabric, and that women didn't actually have brains? So, why are you still hung up on this as if you were an english farmer BC?
This shows that you (the original poster) and whatever religion you belong to are sadly lacking in kindness, tolerance and intellegence in the extremest way. Get. A. Life. You are not the only person in the world. If I were to say that being right handed was a choice, you'd get mad at me, wouldn't you? It all has to do with the way your brain is wired.
In deepest and most heartfelt disgust,
A right handed person.

-snip-
This really is the lurker revealed thread.

Personally, I am shocked and disgusted that this thread was even posted. Left handedness was considered a sin in the very first millenia. I would have thought that in a thousand years, we could have moved beyond silly and supersticious persecutions. At one time, we also believed the world was flat, didn't we? Also that the sky was a big piece of fabric, and that women didn't actually have brains? So, why are you still hung up on this as if you were an english farmer BC?
This shows that you (the original poster) and whatever religion you belong to are sadly lacking in kindness, tolerance and intellegence in the extremest way. Get. A. Life. You are not the only person in the world. If I were to say that being right handed was a choice, you'd get mad at me, wouldn't you? It all has to do with the way your brain is wired.
In deepest and most heartfelt disgust,
A right handed person.
[Out of character again: Ok, this thread is officially the best Humorless Wet-Blanket Detector ever invented.]

And God said
Thou shalt use thy right hand for thy eating, and thy greeting
And Thou shalt use thy left hand for thy wiping of thy own ass
in some countries they cut off your right hand for stealing. I think it should be the left hand because it is the evil apendage.:gundge:

Personally, I am shocked and disgusted that this thread was even posted. Left handedness was considered a sin in the very first millenia. I would have thought that in a thousand years, we could have moved beyond silly and supersticious persecutions. At one time, we also believed the world was flat, didn't we? Also that the sky was a big piece of fabric, and that women didn't actually have brains? So, why are you still hung up on this as if you were an english farmer BC?
This shows that you (the original poster) and whatever religion you belong to are sadly lacking in kindness, tolerance and intellegence in the extremest way. Get. A. Life. You are not the only person in the world. If I were to say that being right handed was a choice, you'd get mad at me, wouldn't you? It all has to do with the way your brain is wired.
In deepest and most heartfelt disgust,
A right handed person.

With no sense of humour.



Hey does anyone think that maybe this influx of new posters maybe all one person?

This really is the lurker revealed thread.
Of course, it might just be one very, very bitter Leftie who is lashing out at us for pointing out how perverted his lifestyle is. Lefties are known to be crafty and dishonest, so it would be just like a Lefty to use many puppets to create the impression that his vile notions have popular support.

[Out of character again: Ok, this thread is officially the best Humorless Wet-Blanket Detector ever invented.]
Im not sure I think I caught some humor in that post … maybe just not good at expressing it

With no sense of humour.



Hey does anyone think that maybe this influx of new posters maybe all one person?
yes on both accounts. and i'm not just saying that because i'm new..... and left handed :)

OMG they are now making KEYBOARD for thoes perverts ... does capatalism have no shame?

http://www.onehandedkeyboard.com/imagesfolder/leftkeyb.gif

OMG they are now making KEYBOARD for thoes perverts ... does capatalism have no shame?

http://www.onehandedkeyboard.com/imagesfolder/leftkeyb.gif

Check the first page...

Yeah!, let's make a jewish unaprecciation thread open here in the forums!

I'm sure people will like it.

You made your point, and I even agree with that, but...

11 pages of insults are not fucking funny, and I'm calling a damn moderator about this.

Yeah!, let's make a jewish unaprecciation thread open here in the forums!

I'm sure people will like it.

You made your point, and I even agree with that, but...

11 pages of insults are not fucking funny, and I'm calling a damn moderator about this.
Lol please do so most of them are a riot

Actually it is a medical fact that some people will develop left handedness depending upon how certain areas of their brain work.

11 pages of insults are not fucking funny, and I'm calling a damn moderator about this.
Wow, and I was actually starting to consider leaving this thread...but if a mod's coming, then I'd better put on my finest satire and shine up my sharpest wit!

Actually it is a medical fact that some people will develop left handedness depending upon how certain areas of their brain work.
That's just Lefty propaganda. Left-handedness is a lifestyle choice. Unlike right-handedness, which is biologically normal.

11 pages of insults are not fucking funny, and I'm calling a damn moderator about this.

Well we're at 5 right now, does that mean we can still have fun until we reach 11?

Actually it is a medical fact that some people will develop left handedness depending upon how certain areas of their brain work.

Are you saying that the Bible is lying?

Hold on, hold on, who said anything about gay people?

I further the notion by suggesting that all left-handed gay people be executed!!

*is left handed*

Muahahaha.

It depends. Are you a hot female? ;)
See, this sort of comments is why God hate porn. It is an infested cesspit of left-handedness and other deviant behaviour. All this filth on the internet is scary. Did you know I googled "Left handed" and had something like a billion hits? Disgusting.

Well we're at 5 right now, does that mean we can still have fun until we reach 11?

Aye, I'm not technically on page 11 yet.

*is left handed*

Muahahaha.
SINNER!

I CAST THEE OUT, DEMON!

SINNER!

I CAST THEE OUT, DEMON!

*brings in holy water...

...and popcorn*

Holy popcorn.

See, this sort of comments is why God hate porn. It is an infested cesspit of left-handedness and other deviant behaviour. All this filth on the internet is scary. Did you know I googled "Left handed" and had something like a billion hits? Disgusting.
A terrifying thought occurs...

What if left-handed people were to...touch their little soldiers with their left hands? Would Baby Jesus ever be able to stop crying?

A terrifying thought occurs...

What if left-handed people were to...touch their little soldiers with their left hands? Would Baby Jesus ever be able to stop crying?

I dunno.

Wait a sec...go check if he's crying now.

:p

A terrifying thought occurs...

What if left-handed people were to...touch their little soldiers with their left hands? Would Baby Jesus ever be able to stop crying?

Please!

Children might be reading this thread!

Darling, that was the point.

A straight person may have a gay sibling. Being gay has nothing to do with a person's fertility, their ability to love, their ability to parent, or anything else, which is why it SHOULDN'T have anything to do with marriage. Two straight people can produce a gay child, just as two gay parents could produce a straight child.

Whatever, indeed.

I'm pretty sure 2 gay parents cannot produce any children. Is it just me, or don't you need a man and a woman to make a kid? You must be completely retarded.

I further the notion by suggesting that all left-handed gay people be executed!!

Woh, slow down there tiger. First of all, this thread is not about gay people at all, so cut them out. Second of all, why would we go about executing left-handed people at all? We just feel that left-handers should well, stay in the closet, lock and bar the door, build a moat perhaps. We just don't want you know see this perversion out on the streets, shake their hands all that jazz.

What thread are you reading?

Oh!
Aren't you a clever little one.
Because technically the message is between the lines and a blatant satire that means it doesn't exist!

You and Bottle are the epitome of wit.

You and Bottle are the epitome of wit.Indeed they are. *munches holy popcorn*

HMMMMMMMMM.

Im rather curious if the Thread Starter meant to make this a satire of the Gay Marriage debate.

Indeed they are. *munches holy popcorn*

Better be with your right hand...

Are there any democracies in the world? For all the rhetoric, the US is still a republic, not a democracy.

I hope to change that. http://xyemica.googlepages.com/home

Woh, slow down there tiger. First of all, this thread is not about gay people at all, so cut them out. Second of all, why would we go about executing left-handed people at all? We just feel that left-handers should well, stay in the closet, lock and bar the door, build a moat perhaps. We just don't want you know see this perversion out on the streets, shake their hands all that jazz.

Why?, let's make it a thread against gay people

After all, aren't gays an aberration to nature, in any case?

They should be isolated in Anctartica, and infiltrate a new AIDS variant so we can dispose of the problem entirely in a few years. Maybe the new variant is not even neccessary at all, as they are all infected with the punishment of god.

Meh

Exactly. Children should not be exposed to that kind of behavior. How can I possibly take my kids out in public, when they might be forced to see some freak openning a beverage with his LEFT HAND?*snip*

Uh...if you're right handed, you DO open a bottle with your left hand. You hold it in your right hand (the hand with which you'll be drinking from the bottle) and twist off the cap with the left...assuming a twist-off, that is.

I know this because...my God, I can't believe I'm saying this in front of all of you...I...I'm...

...I'm left handed. A...and I twist off bottle caps with my right hand while I hold the bottle im my left.

*sobs violently*

Oh God, it's so WRONG! Is there NOTHING I can do to stop this? Are there no programs that use God's divine love and RIGHTeousness to "cure" me of my sinful LEFTeousness? Oh please help me! I don't WANT to be a lefty!

*more sobs*

EDIT: I mean, I pretended to be a righty all through my childhood and adolescence. I...I didn't want to shame my family. If they EVER found out, I...I don't think they'd accept me. I even dated right-handers and eventually married one for the sake of looking normal. But one day she came home early and found me...f-...found me playing fetch with the dog...an...and I was throwing the ball with...oh God...MY LEFT HAND! I'm a sinner, I know it! Help me, please!

HMMMMMMMMM.

Im rather curious if the Thread Starter meant to make this a satire of the Gay Marriage debate.
No, he was quite serious about left handed people. They're evil, you know.

I'm pretty sure 2 gay parents cannot produce any children. Is it just me, or don't you need a man and a woman to make a kid? You must be completely retarded.
Seriously, somebody start that Birds and Bees thread. This is getting downright silly. And we can't have silliness invading a serious thread about banning Lefties from marriage.

A terrifying thought occurs...

What if left-handed people were to...touch their little soldiers with their left hands? Would Baby Jesus ever be able to stop crying?
This is precisely why they can't ever be allowed to use their left hand... ever. I fully support a constitutionnal ban on left-handedness.

Right Power!!! Right Power!!!

Left-handedness should be punishable by death!


FIE!

Why?, let's make it a thread against gay people

After all, aren't gays an aberration to nature, in any case?

They should be isolated in Anctartica, and infiltrate a new AIDS variant so we can dispose of the problem entirely in a few years. Maybe the new variant is not even neccessary at all, as they are all infected with the punishment of god.

Meh
In that case you would not be creating a satire joke thread … you would be continuing with real hate.

Why?, let's make it a thread against gay people

After all, aren't gays an aberration to nature, in any case?

They should be isolated in Anctartica, and infiltrate a new AIDS variant so we can dispose of the problem entirely in a few years. Maybe the new variant is not even neccessary at all, as they are all infected with the punishment of god.

Meh

You are one sick left-hander. What's wrong with gay people? They provide the porn industry with millions, creating jobs for thousands.

So this is about all those "lefties" I see some posters refer to in certain threads?

I just don't understand why you become classifies as a tree-hugger just because you're left-handed...

So this is about all those "lefties" I see some posters refer to in certain threads?

I just don't understand why you become classifies as a tree-hugger just because you're left-handed...

No people want to hug us, so we have to go to the local flora for comfort. :(

Again I understand the true nature of this thread, but stop it.

It has gone far way off the line.
No farther than the anti-gay marriage threads. Who died and made you moderator? Piss off.

In that case you would not be creating a satire joke thread … you would be continuing with real hate.

I believe the satire is well over in this thread.

This has continued further, and no, I'm not biased against gays, I was checking reactions in fact oping the "See?, you are being intolerant?", o "Whoah, that is hatred"

HMMMMMMMMM.

Im rather curious if the Thread Starter meant to make this a satire of the Gay Marriage debate.
...seriously. This is scaring me.

It is obvious that left handed people shouldn't be able to marry because then the world will be overrun with the demand for left-handed items in a world of right-handed items and in the time it will take to meet demand the world will collapse.

Uh...if you're right handed, you DO open a bottle with your left hand. You hold it in your right hand (the hand with which you'll be drinking from the bottle) and twist off the cap with the left...assuming a twist-off, that is.
Who does that?

I believe the satire is well over in this thread.

This has continued further, and no, I'm not biased against gays, I was checking reactions in fact oping the "See?, you are being intolerant?", o "Whoah, that is hatred"
But...but... :confused: Let me ask the painfully obvious question again - you do realize that this thread is a satire on the anti-gay threads, right?


No people want to hug us, so we have to go to the local flora for comfort. :( *Sigh* I know it's a shameless ruse, and well, it's just me anyway, but that sad little face of yours gets me every time, so here ya go: :fluffle:

No people want to hug us, so we have to go to the local flora for comfort. :(
Oh you poor thing :fluffle:

OMG they are now making KEYBOARD for thoes perverts ... does capatalism have no shame?

http://www.onehandedkeyboard.com/imagesfolder/leftkeyb.gif
Now don't you start in on capitalism -- it sees a need and fills it. Of course our great nation's companies shouldn't condone the Lefty lifestyle, but there are higher callings than the anti-Left movement. Money trumps everything.

[OOC: I am both bemused and appalled by those who've posted here without grasping the satirical nature of the first post and subsequent mock harangues. I suppose it means that those of us who are continuing the satire know the language of the intolerant so well that we're TOO convincing.]

No farther than the anti-gay marriage threads. Who died and made you moderator? Piss off.

I do not agree with the gay marriage thread, it should be closed.

This one should be closed too.

If you are trying to make a point, it is not being valid, you're not proving that intolerance is wrong or whatever you are trying to say.

You're being as stupid as the intolerants you are criticizing.

I do not agree with the gay marriage thread, it should be closed.

This one should be closed too.

If you are trying to make a point, it is not being valid, you're not proving that intolerance is wrong or whatever you are trying to say.

You're being as stupid as the intolerants you are criticizing.
Not really. The people in this thread know that what they're saying is ridiculous.

The people being mocked don't.

I do not agree with the gay marriage thread, it should be closed.

This one should be closed too.

If you are trying to make a point, it is not being valid, you're not proving that intolerance is wrong or whatever you are trying to say.

You're being as stupid as the intolerants you are criticizing.

Again, you post non-spam that I like. :cool:

I do not agree with the gay marriage thread, it should be closed.

This one should be closed too.

If you are trying to make a point, it is not being valid, you're not proving that intolerance is wrong or whatever you are trying to say.

You're being as stupid as the intolerants you are criticizing.
Wow.

Just wow.

I've never seen someone miss the point so fully and completely. Satire and mockery are easily the most effective means of exposing and de-fanging the virulent hatred of an opposing side so unreasonably against something so simple.

And to call us intolerant while we mock the intolerant? That's just plain obtuse.

It is obvious that left handed people shouldn't be able to marry because then the world will be overrun with the demand for left-handed items in a world of right-handed items and in the time it will take to meet demand the world will collapse.


Who does that?

Not me. That's sick and borders on left-handedness. It may not be full blown left handality, but it is certainly a perversion that should be stamped out. Freaks.

Yeah!, let's make a jewish unaprecciation thread open here in the forums!

I'm sure people will like it.

You made your point, and I even agree with that, but...

11 pages of insults are not fucking funny, and I'm calling a damn moderator about this.

A Jew-bashing thread wouldn't work because some people really are Nazis. The reason I chose left-handedness was because the idea of banning left-handed marriage is so utterly absurd; it also provides a good comparison between 'homosexuality is a choice' and 'left-handedness is a choice'.

I agree that some people have taken it too far though, this was meant to be parody rather than just bashing.

Could everyone please refrain from comments such as 'lefties should be executed' and post in the spirit in which this thread was intended. Thanks.

EDIT:
An example of humour (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11166198&postcount=212)

An example of an insult (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11166116&postcount=195)

But...but... :confused: Let me ask the painfully obvious question again - you do realize that this thread is a satire on the anti-gay threads, right?


OF COURSE I DO

But that kind of satire do not give you the right to fill pages and pages of insults against lefties in any case!

Are you sure everyone filling this thread with insults are being ironic or satyrical?

You made your point, you're right, anti-gay marriages are equal or worst than this, and so what?

Stop this already.

In any case, the gay haters you are trying to ridiculize are not even reading this thread, or participating on it.

Right Power!!! Right Power!!!

Nice first post, welcome to the forum. :p

so this thread is seriously talkin about left handed people should not marry? if so, thats pretty wierd

A good little link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_famous_left-handed_people#Royalty_and_nobility

A Jew-bashing thread wouldn't work because some people really are Nazis. The reason I chose left-handedness was because the idea of banning left-handed marriage is so utterly absurd; it also provides a good comparison between 'homosexuality is a choice' and 'left-handedness is a choice'.

I agree that some people have taken it too far though, this was meant to be parody rather than just bashing.

Could everyone please refrain from comments such as 'lefties should be executed' and post in the spirit in which this thread was intended. Thanks.

Thanks to you too.

I really understand, and I sympathize with your views on stupid intolerants

But it is supposed to be a parody, not bashing indeed

Intagelon, not everyone here is "mocking the intolerant", thus making Glitziness statement not operative.

If you want to mock, it's ok, I do understand, if you want to insult, then it is no change from some idiotic homophobic or nazi.

Usually parodies should end when someone says. "Hey!, I'm not liking it, I'm offended", see?

A good little link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_famous_left-handed_people#Royalty_and_nobility

Abu Musab al-Zarqawi and Osama bin Laden are/were left-handed!! It's a conspiracy I tell you. :eek:

I think Aelosia is just too clever for the rest of us. His posts are actually parodies, too. I bow before your superior wit. *bows*.

My post was awesome, everyone go read it at the bottom of page 15.

OF COURSE I DO

But that kind of satire do not give you the right to fill pages and pages of insults against lefties in any case!

Are you sure everyone filling this thread with insults are being ironic or satyrical?



I'm pretty sure that no one is serious... otherwise they're just ridiculous. The whole point is to be absurd but use the same type of language as homophobes do.

Oh!
Aren't you a clever little one.
Because technically the message is between the lines and a blatant satire that means it doesn't exist!

You and Bottle are the epitome of wit.
Uh oh, UT. Some dude with a 400+ post count seems to think we're not funny.

My mighty heart is breaking. :(

so this thread is seriously talkin about left handed people should not marry? if so, thats pretty wierd
No, it's not seriously talking about left handed people not being allowed to marry.

Usually parodies should end when someone says. "Hey!, I'm not liking it, I'm offended", see?
Why?

I think Aelosia is just too clever for the rest of us. His posts are actually parodies, too. I bow before your superior wit. *bows*.

Her :D

And thanks!

I, as a natural-born lefty who has chosen to follow the evil path, have decided to commit suicide and make this world a better place.

a good way to bring down the left handed population is to force babies when theyre young to grab things with their right hand so they wont become left handed

I believe the satire is well over in this thread.

This has continued further, and no, I'm not biased against gays, I was checking reactions in fact oping the "See?, you are being intolerant?", o "Whoah, that is hatred"
But when is the last time you or anyone were put in the hospital for being left handed? thats what makes this such good satire

(For being bi-sexual its been 2 years roughly for me)

I have never seen anyone be so defensive of their lefthandedness before

I've edited the OP to discourage flaming in favour of parody.