NationStates Jolt Archive

Ok so we will play a little game where you tell all of NS something bad you did today that will probably get you into hell(even if you don't believe in it)

Im going to hell because, I got an erection in church today. Damn preacher's daughter..

Since thinking about committing a sin is itself a sin, since I understand the English word murder, just by understanding the concept I have commited the sin of murder in thought. Therefore I am going to hell.

You know, life is really tough when you are both religious and logical.

Umm. I skipped the first two periods of school and lied about it. Said I had doctors appoinment.

I'm going to hell because I'm a non-believer. No, wait...

I honestly can't think of one sinful thing I did today.:D

I'm really going to hell.

I got an erection in church today, and I'm a priest.

I punched Liam Mark II in the stomach a couple of times today... HE BULLIED ME FIRST!

I'm really going to hell.

I got an erection in church today, and I'm a priest.

That's why god created prostitutes. When Jesus saw the prostitute in the temple and turned the table over he didn't use his hands you know.

Since thinking about committing a sin is itself a sin, since I understand the English word murder, just by understanding the concept I have commited the sin of murder in thought. Therefore I am going to hell.

You know, life is really tough when you are both religious and logical.

If you are talking about Christianity, the story in the Bible refers to adultery (lust being the result) only. And even then, understanding the term is not the same as thinking about committing the sin.

Let's see...

Sacrificing a lamb to the flight gods
Not attending church
Not beleaving
and I am currently into the vodka

Thats all I can come up for now.... I should see about making it a round 5 for the day...suggestions?

Since thinking about committing a sin is itself a sin, since I understand the English word murder, just by understanding the concept I have commited the sin of murder in thought. Therefore I am going to hell.

You know, life is really tough when you are both religious and logical.
Thats sigging material. But I am filled up:(

If you are talking about Christianity, the story in the Bible refers to adultery (lust being the result) only. And even then, understanding the term is not the same as thinking about committing the sin.

Yes it is. If you read the sentence "I murdered him" and understand it you have thought about commiting murder. Whoops, I just sent you to hell. Sorry.

You know, life is really tough when you are both religious and logical and have a decent imagination.

I'm going to hell becuase...

1] I had sex in a church

2] Damn preacher's son

Oh that and i watched Brokeback mountain.

I'm supposedly going to hell because I'm a dirty sodomite. At least that's what they say. But they're wrong... oh, boy are they wrong.

I'm not dirty, I'm very clean

God hates me :(


Well, maybe not, but it feels like that some days.

Yes it is. If you read the sentence "I murdered him" and understand it you have thought about commiting murder. Whoops, I just sent you to hell. Sorry.

You know, life is really tough when you are both religious and logical and have a decent imagination.

It's very possible for me to talk about murder else and not envision myself doing it. Actually, the majority of the time I think about murder, I'm not envisioning myself doing it, I'm just thinking of the concept of murder. (maybe I'm different...)


But that aside, do you really think that Christians should, or do believe that thinking about murder is the same as murder?

Or are you just joking around?

I'm supposedly going to hell because I'm a dirty sodomite. At least that's what they say. But they're wrong... oh, boy are they wrong.

I'm not dirty, I'm very clean


Better check behind those ears of yours...might be plenty of dirt there.;)

It's very possible for me to talk about murder else and not envision myself doing it. Actually, the majority of the time I think about murder, I'm not envisioning myself doing it, I'm just thinking of the concept of murder. (maybe I'm different...)


But that aside, do you really think that Christians should, or do believe that thinking about murder is the same as murder?

Or are you just joking around?
You're not different, I don't envision it ether.

You're not different, I don't envision it ether.


I do...especially in church. I mean everytime i think about how Jesus died for my sins, i envision myself sitting there stabbing him with a spear and all that.:rolleyes:

I'm a jew, you can't send me to hell.

Even if I make jokes about catholic priests using "sunday school" and "hard".

Because I hate white people.

C'mon folks, I need to commit one more sinful act before going to bed, I do need suggestions


....Wait I know just the thing... ;)

I'm a jew, you can't send me to hell.

Even if I make jokes about catholic priests using "sunday school" and "hard".


Thats where you are wrong..All the jews are in hell.. abraham, david, solomon, jesus.. :eek:

In fact Jew= in Hell
you see:
Jew=Money Lovers
Money is the root of all evil
evil is what lies in hell
so jews love whats in hell, and with that, they desire to be there too. come on..its common knowledge:rolleyes:

Because I hate white people.


But...aren't you white?

Does that make you a self hating white person?

If so then you need to go onto montel or maury or something. Where the blacks join the kkk cuz they hate themselves and the whites go around killing in the name of black power...

But...aren't you white?

Does that make you a self hating white person?

If so then you need to go onto montel or maury or something. Where the blacks join the kkk cuz they hate themselves and the whites go around killing in the name of black power...
I'm.. I'm.. no comment.

I'm.. I'm.. no comment.


Its ok ruffy.. I am here for you...just tell me...I have an open ear, and a shoulder for you to cry on.:D

But...aren't you white?

Does that make you a self hating white person?

If so then you need to go onto montel or maury or something. Where the blacks join the kkk cuz they hate themselves and the whites go around killing in the name of black power...
*Looks at post* Part of me feels like I should be offended but... I'm not sure...

It's very possible for me to talk about murder else and not envision myself doing it. Actually, the majority of the time I think about murder, I'm not envisioning myself doing it, I'm just thinking of the concept of murder. (maybe I'm different...)


But that aside, do you really think that Christians should, or do believe that thinking about murder is the same as murder?

Or are you just joking around?

It's not envisiging that is the sin, it's the thought. If you understand the phrase "I murdered him," and since you understand that I can refer to yourself, then you have thought about yourself murdering someone. You may not be conscious of it, but the thought is there.

And yes I am being silly, but I'm being silly with serious intent. Humour can be an important tool for changing people's attitudes.

There is an old Dave Allen skit where the priest is telling the congregation that thinking a sin is just as bad as doing it. While he's doing this he looks at the clevage of a busty woman in the front row and then steps off the pulpit and walks straight into the confessional box.

I think people should suffer the consequences of what they do, not what they think. Many people end up neurotic because they think they are having sinful thoughts. By showing how merely understanding a sentence can cause you to have a thought that is supposedly sinful I using a reductio ad absurdium argument against the consept of "thought sin" and hopefully making someone realize that it's what they do and not what they think that matters.

(And yes, planning to murder someone is bad, but absently minded thinking that your life would be easier if your senile bedridden parent died is not equivilent to murder, it's just a fact, your life would be easier if they died, but since you would never actually kill them you shouldn't feel guilty about having that thought. It's just the truth.)

Its ok ruffy.. I am here for you...just tell me...I have an open ear, and a shoulder for you to cry on.:D
I.. I.. *starts bawling eyes out*

I was born.. a poor black man..

I'm going to hell because I forge almost all of my school progress reports so my parents won't know my real grades..at least until my semester report cards are sent out.:D

What have I done today to get me into hell.
Most days I can think of something, but i've been pretty good so far.
Blasphemy?

I.. I.. *starts bawling eyes out*

I was born.. a poor black man..


OMFG You are a nig...ermm black man? and to think...all of this time i thought you were just rather tan....I feel...so decieved...I mean...we..we...we fluffled!

Oh jesus...I need sleep!

I'm not going to hell, though. I'm a practising(sp?) pastafarian, therefore I wont get sent to our version of hell.

OMFG You are a nig...ermm black man? and to think...all of this time i thought you were just rather tan....I feel...so decieved...I mean...we..we...we fluffled!

Oh jesus...I need sleep!
:eek: :eek: :eek:

:eek: :eek: :eek:


Im just kidding ruffy. you know I will always <3 you. I mean, look at all those magical moments in the spam forum. Those are good times.:fluffle:

Thats where you are wrong..All the jews are in hell.. abraham, david, solomon, jesus.. :eek:

In fact Jew= in Hell
you see:
Jew=Money Lovers
Money is the root of all evil
evil is what lies in hell
so jews love whats in hell, and with that, they desire to be there too. come on..its common knowledge:rolleyes:


No, you can't send me to a hell I don't believe in. :D

im going to hell because i coveted my neighbours ass and then his wife and then made a graven image of his donkey and worshipped it while humming 'sympathy for the devil'.

Im just kidding ruffy. you know I will always <3 you. I mean, look at all those magical moments in the spam forum. Those are good times.:fluffle:
:rolleyes: :) :D :fluffle:

Figured out what I'm going to hell for.


I saluted our national flag

Better check behind those ears of yours...might be plenty of dirt there.;)
Yes, mommy! *pouts sullenly*

I have masturbated way too much to get into heaven. Hell, I could cure cancer and still not make it.

No, you can't send me to a hell I don't believe in. :D


What if i pay you $20 US? Will you believe in it then?:D

i was just praying and god told me the internet was a sin so you're all screwed im just about to cancel my subscription

i was just praying and god told me the internet was a sin so you're all screwed im just about to cancel my subscription
Yay!

I have masturbated way too much to get into heaven. Hell, I could cure cancer and still not make it.

Actually there is some evidence that masturbation prevents cancer, so there's a chance you just might make it.

What if i pay you $20 US? Will you believe in it then?:D

...make it 30...

Actually there is some evidence that masturbation prevents cancer, so there's a chance you just might make it.
It does?

Jesus, I'm probably a hero and didn't even know it!



(You'll see, I'll keep trying until it works!)

The cancer thingy. thats only prostrate cancer.


Use it or lose it ;)

The cancer thingy. thats only prostrate cancer.


Use it or lose it

I'm swinging both fists in the fight against prostrate cancer.

For what I did to your butter when you weren't looking.

(give you a clue - it was unsalted before I did what I did, but it tastes pretty salty now!)

For what I did to your butter when you weren't looking.

(give you a clue - it was unsalted before I did what I did, but it tastes pretty salty now!)


I don't mind

Oh this is just not fair, why is it always my comments that end these threads?

I don't mind
I do. I Can't believe It's Not Butter tastes terrible.

Oh this is just not fair, why is it always my comments that end these threads?
Because the rest of us are curing cancer.;)

I'm swinging both fists in the fight against prostrate cancer.
I'm way ahead of you, dude!


Gonna show that cancer who's boss!

What have I done to send me to the Christian kinda hell?
Well, does arguing that Islam is no worse a religion count?
(I'm reaching here, only just woke up).

For what I did to your butter when you weren't looking.

(give you a clue - it was unsalted before I did what I did, but it tastes pretty salty now!)

Damned you Demented Hamsters for making Hell such an interesting place! Now everyone is all confused as to where to go for all eternity! :D

As for myself, yeah, doing myself too often now to go to the Christian heaven, which doesn't rock anyway.

To the God of Porn and Chocolate though, I'm all set. Yeah baby.

I don't mind
Which is why you're going to Hell.

Belive it or not (probably not if you know me) i have more important things to do !!!1!one!!eleventyone!

So yeah, ima gonna go to my Adagio class now.

btw. BUTTER>MARGARINE

It's not envisiging that is the sin, it's the thought. If you understand the phrase "I murdered him," and since you understand that I can refer to yourself, then you have thought about yourself murdering someone. You may not be conscious of it, but the thought is there.

And yes I am being silly, but I'm being silly with serious intent. Humour can be an important tool for changing people's attitudes.

There is an old Dave Allen skit where the priest is telling the congregation that thinking a sin is just as bad as doing it. While he's doing this he looks at the clevage of a busty woman in the front row and then steps off the pulpit and walks straight into the confessional box.

I think people should suffer the consequences of what they do, not what they think. Many people end up neurotic because they think they are having sinful thoughts. By showing how merely understanding a sentence can cause you to have a thought that is supposedly sinful I using a reductio ad absurdium argument against the consept of "thought sin" and hopefully making someone realize that it's what they do and not what they think that matters.

(And yes, planning to murder someone is bad, but absently minded thinking that your life would be easier if your senile bedridden parent died is not equivilent to murder, it's just a fact, your life would be easier if they died, but since you would never actually kill them you shouldn't feel guilty about having that thought. It's just the truth.)

Again, the only sort of "thought sin" outlined in the Bible is that of adultery in the heart (Mat 5:27-32). Thinking about murdering somebody is never outlined as sin. (Well, I just remembered the whole coveting your neighbor's belongings, as well, but that's interrelated with the idea of lust.) At any rate, I think one would be hard pressed to find, outside of a comedy sketch, a priest that in his homily outlines all thoughts about sinning as sinning in and of itself.

But by the sounds of it, even the thought of lust being a sin is offputting to you. I understand where you're coming from. I could see how people would view what goes on in their head as 1. only their business and 2. irrelevent to outside world, anyway.

I think we have to ask ourself that assuming the Christian God exists (I assume you don't believe this, but for the sake of argument -- Assuming that God doesn't exist makes the discussion of sin somewhat irrelevant anyway) why would he outline "adultery of the heart" to be sinful. I think the argument for this would revolve around two issues 1. That what one thinks influences how they act and 2. Not lusting fits into the Christian ideology of sanctifiying oneself and making yourself holy not just in action, but in one's entirety. (since sin is a religious idea we're speaking in a religious context. Therefore, you have to be prepared for arguments based on Christian beliefs to defend what is Christianly defined as sin.)

To use a very extreme example to illustrate point one, it's hard for me to imagine a very moral and upstanding individual who imagines himself raping people on a regular basis. I mean yes, it is possible. Afterall, we don't know what's going on in other people's heads. But it seems unlikely. (I realize that these aren't fully developed arguments, but just to give you something to think about.)

Then there's the whole question of why was adultery of the heart singled out as being sinful? Why wasn't, I don't know, thinking about taking the Lord's name in vain outlined as bad and lust left unmentioned? How is thinking about adultery different than thinking about murder? Something to ponder.

Anyway, there are plenty of other arguments that I can think of off the top of my head for and against the Christian ideology of Coveting being a sin. But I think it boils down to if you believe in God and Jesus' divinity and what Jesus said in the Bible, then you'll believe it's a sin to lust (afterall, you believe that the omniscient Creator of the universe is telling you this). If you don't believe in Jesus as the Son of God, then you wont worry about avoiding to think about adultery, unless given a secular reason to do so.

At any rate, I'm sure this could be discussed (and I'm sure people have) for hours. But not me, I'm going to bed.

I'm going to hell for lying, for being sloth, and wishing death upon someone else.

oh, and for not believing in Hell and actually calling God a mean spiteful bastard to the Jehovah's witness' face

God hates me :(


Well, maybe not, but it feels like that some days.
Karma hates me. I hate it back*NationStates account suddenly disappears*

I'm going to hell because I went to my ex- boyfriends house and fucked him and I told my boyfriend I was taking my grandaddy to the grocery store. What? A girl has needs. I swear. I hate guys that want to wait till marriage to fuck. He can wait. I'm not going to.

The church says I'm a whore. I say I'm just a lustful person

I have masturbated way too much to get into heaven. Hell, I could cure cancer and still not make it.
God doesn't want to cure diease. He created for thgat reason. To kill:)

I'm going to hell for lying, for being sloth, and wishing death upon someone else.

oh, and for not believing in Hell and actually calling God a mean spiteful bastard to the Jehovah's witness' face


That reminds me. I am going to hell because I told a Jehovah's witness yesterday that I was a devil worshipper and I am carrying Satan's baby. I don't think they are gonna ring my bell anymore.....HaAHa....

I'm going to hell because I went to my ex- boyfriends house and fucked him and I told my boyfriend I was taking my grandaddy to the grocery store. What? A girl has needs. I swear. I hate guys that want to wait till marriage to fuck. He can wait. I'm not going to.

The church says I'm a whore. I say I'm just a lustful person

Oh my, I'm in love! :D

Anyway heaven or hell or where-ever, a fluffle for you :fluffle:

God doesn't want to cure diease. He created for thgat reason. To kill:)
I was expecting someone to say that within a few posts, not a few pages.

I had unholy and sinful urges regarding this girl I REALLY like. :eek:

To use a very extreme example to illustrate point one, it's hard for me to imagine a very moral and upstanding individual who imagines himself raping people on a regular basis. I mean yes, it is possible. Afterall, we don't know what's going on in other people's heads. But it seems unlikely. (I realize that these aren't fully developed arguments, but just to give you something to think about.)

Hmmm... I think that if that a person who only obtained sexual pleasure from such fantasies could be a dangerous person. If it was just one of numerous fantasies with no desire to act it out in real life I'd say that was probably harmless. As an example of harmless fantsy, who hasn't fantasied about having a harem of willing sex slaves and who would honestly want that in real life? If someone wanted to act out a rape fantasy in a safe way with a 100% consenting partner then that's also with me, but if that was the only thing a person wanted to do it would be a worry. A lot of people do stuff along the lines of, "You've been a naughty boy/girl," and while I can definitely understand if the idea is a turn off for many people, it does seem to be harmless. I think the dangerous people are those people who have no empathy for others. Those who like sex but don't like people. They are the dangerous ones.

I'm going to hell because they've put me on maintanence rotation. Someone has got to keep the databases from crashing after all. I'll be back in maybe an hour or so. :p

I'm going to hell because I went to my ex- boyfriends house and fucked him and I told my boyfriend I was taking my grandaddy to the grocery store. What? A girl has needs. I swear. I hate guys that want to wait till marriage to fuck. He can wait. I'm not going to.

The church says I'm a whore. I say I'm just a lustful person

If you can't seduce your boyfriend into having sex with you then I would definitely say that he doesn't have enough sex drive to satisfy you when you are married. Be honest. Tell him that you need him to be a man for you and try him and dry him out. And give some time to improve if his technique is lacking at first. There's a chance he'll be a right cracker once he gets started.

Okay have fun in Hell, everyone.

*shakes head disparagingly, wobbles off to have cocktail glass refilled by pan-dimensional bartender*

I committed three sins at once: I got off to the thought of a married woman.

Yeeeah. homosexuality, check. masturbation, check. adultery, check.

Okay have fun in Hell, everyone.

*shakes head disparagingly, wobbles off to have cocktail glass refilled by pan-dimensional bartender*
Going to Kennedy heaven, eh? I'm going there then too!

*runs to bottle of pain killers*

Be SERIOUS, please...

How come you're talking sin when I've not finished to write the Scriptures?
You're so impatient!
I even did not mention hell yet, maybe I should, but it's a two way trouble that hell and these sins.

The only thing I take in account when re-writing these f* Scriptures is to avoid being the bad guy when you read it (like a pedophile colleague of mine...) and not to offer a paradise with too many stories 'bout ass and mouth deceases.

Let's pray brothers and eventually sisters, let's be the friends of god, he shall accept our friendship and shall not sin in rejecting us, amen.


The High Priest
- Writer and Father of your children -

I don't need no scriptures in the Cosmic Tiki Lounge. What I need are brightly-coloured paper umbrellas. And more hot canapés.

Ok, which of the seven deadly sins have I commited... (Assuming Christianity, as most others seem to be doing here).

Lust: Check
Envy: Check
Sloth: Check
Greed: Check
Wrath: No Check
Pride: 1/2 Check
Gluttony: 1/2 Check

Considering even one of these instantly damns me...
See you all in hell :p

I walked into a zoo and gunned down all the penguins.

That or I shot a bunch of butlers.

Ok, which of the seven deadly sins have I commited... (Assuming Christianity, as most others seem to be doing here).

Lust: Check
Envy: Check
Sloth: Check
Greed: Check
Wrath: No Check
Pride: 1/2 Check
Gluttony: 1/2 Check

Considering even one of these instantly damns me...
See you all in hell :p

Oh and for anyone whos interested, the punishments for each of these, according to Wikipedia:

Lust:The punishment in hell for lust is being smothered in flame and brimstone.

Envy: The punishment in hell for envy in being placed in freezing water.

Sloth: The punishment in hell for sloth is being thrown into a pit of snakes.

Greed: The punishment in hell for greed is being submerged in the finest boiling oils.

Wrath: The punishment in hell for wrath is being dismembered.

Pride: The punishment in hell for pride is being broken on the wheel.

Gluttony: The punishment in hell for gluttony is being force fed rats and snakes.

...Sounds like they'll be dealing with me for a while :rolleyes:

Oh and for anyone whos interested, the punishments for each of these, according to Wikipedia:

Lust:The punishment in hell for lust is being smothered in flame and brimstone.

Envy: The punishment in hell for envy in being placed in freezing water.

Sloth: The punishment in hell for sloth is being thrown into a pit of snakes.

Greed: The punishment in hell for greed is being submerged in the finest boiling oils.

Wrath: The punishment in hell for wrath is being dismembered.

Pride: The punishment in hell for pride is being broken on the wheel.

Gluttony: The punishment in hell for gluttony is being force fed rats and snakes.

...Sounds like they'll be dealing with me for a while :rolleyes:

can we put all of those together, the glame and brimstone should nicely chargrill the rats and snakes (that are partially provided by the pit of snakes) the boiling oil should give them a nice glaze and im sure they have hot barbeque sauce in hell, the freezing water should keep you cool during this al fresco dining, i dont need limbs if im being force fed, and i have a bad back so the wheel is kinda appealing, not to mention the (typical imagery) of succubi, incubi and lilim handing out the punishments...

woot!

darkside

can we put all of those together, the glame and brimstone should nicely chargrill the rats and snakes (that are partially provided by the pit of snakes) the boiling oil should give them a nice glaze and im sure they have hot barbeque sauce in hell, the freezing water should keep you cool during this al fresco dining, i dont need limbs if im being force fed, and i have a bad back so the wheel is kinda appealing, not to mention the (typical imagery) of succubi, incubi and lilim handing out the punishments...

woot!

darkside

I'm sure we could accomodate that.

But you have to commit all the sins yourself :p

So far today? Browsing NS while at work i suppose.

Oh, and all of the 7 deadly sins of course, I usually get through those before breakfast though.

I'm going to hell because I went to my ex- boyfriends house and fucked him and I told my boyfriend I was taking my grandaddy to the grocery store. What? A girl has needs. I swear. I hate guys that want to wait till marriage to fuck. He can wait. I'm not going to.

The church says I'm a whore. I say I'm just a lustful person

if you hate those kinda guys why are you dating one?

if you hate those kinda guys why are you dating one?
She's not. That's why she said ex-boyfriend. Just thought I'd point it out. :rolleyes:

She's not. That's why she said ex-boyfriend. Just thought I'd point it out. :rolleyes:

Acutally, she said she cheated on her current bf with her ex, presumably the guy shes dating now is the one whos not giving her any. :rolleyes:

Oh and for anyone whos interested, the punishments for each of these, according to Wikipedia:

Lust:The punishment in hell for lust is being smothered in flame and brimstone.

Envy: The punishment in hell for envy in being placed in freezing water.

Sloth: The punishment in hell for sloth is being thrown into a pit of snakes.

Greed: The punishment in hell for greed is being submerged in the finest boiling oils.

Wrath: The punishment in hell for wrath is being dismembered.

Pride: The punishment in hell for pride is being broken on the wheel.

Gluttony: The punishment in hell for gluttony is being force fed rats and snakes.

...Sounds like they'll be dealing with me for a while :rolleyes:

The finest boiling oils?
In Hell, we only use the finest boiling oils to ensure our greedy sinners are fried to a perfect, roasted flavour. Hell Oils contain no artificial colours or preservatives. May contain traces of nuts.

Acutally, she said she cheated on her current bf with her ex, presumably the guy shes dating now is the one whos not giving her any. :rolleyes:
Yeah, I'm an idiot. :(
Note to self: Try to actually read things through carefully next time!

The finest boiling oils?
In Hell, we only use the finest boiling oils to ensure our greedy sinners are fried to a perfect, roasted flavour. Hell Oils contain no artificial colours or preservatives. May contain traces of nuts.

I think it was meant to be a reference to avarice, but sure, sounds good lol

Because I'm not a believer ? Because I'm a commie ? Because I wasn't baptised ? Because I eat pork ? Because I had sex outside mariage ? Hum... I guess I'm doomed.

Yeah, I'm an idiot. :(
Note to self: Try to actually read things through carefully next time!

Aww, no you're not.
Sorry. :fluffle:

Oh and for anyone whos interested, the punishments for each of these, according to Wikipedia:

Lust:The punishment in hell for lust is being smothered in flame and brimstone.

Envy: The punishment in hell for envy in being placed in freezing water.

Sloth: The punishment in hell for sloth is being thrown into a pit of snakes.

Greed: The punishment in hell for greed is being submerged in the finest boiling oils.

Wrath: The punishment in hell for wrath is being dismembered.

Pride: The punishment in hell for pride is being broken on the wheel.

Gluttony: The punishment in hell for gluttony is being force fed rats and snakes.

...Sounds like they'll be dealing with me for a while :rolleyes:

Perhaps the true reason that you will end up in hell is because you are so devastatingly beautiful that you make angels turn into violent green monsters.:fluffle:

*Starry anime eyes*

I can't believe I said that.

... That actually made me puke.

Perhaps the true reason that you will end up in hell is because you are so devastatingly beautiful that you make angels turn into violent green monsters.:fluffle:

*Starry anime eyes*

I can't believe I said that.

*Starry anime eyes*? :D

The visual of that was great! :)

You made my day, prepare to be fluffled: :fluffle:

*Starry anime eyes*? :D

The visual of that was great! :)

You made my day, prepare to be fluffled: :fluffle:

Which of course illicits a response. :fluffle:

What really makes me shed a tear is that what I said is completely true. :(

Cursed heavens! Why a creature of such exquisite perfection to launch a thousand ships and break a million hearts? Why? Why?

Alas the heavens remain silent.

Which of course illicits a response. :fluffle:

:fluffle:

What really makes me shed a tear is that what I said is completely true. :(

What? That the angels turn into green eyed monsters when they see me? :p lol

Cursed heavens! Why a creature of such exquisite perfection to launch a thousand ships and break a million hearts? Why? Why?

Alas the heavens remain silent.

Alas, we are the condemned, to whom heaven turns it's back. :)

Well I have news for you guys...
According to churh no one is going to hell today... no not just today but ever!
Don't you know Jesus paid for all the sins of humanity before he left the table ?

Sin freely as you wish 'cause its prepaidd.hip hip hurraaah for Jesus! I think I will become christian too because it sounds fun to sin and its already repented :D

Wrath in my case.

1. Blaspheming: I've openly cursed god on several nights. Sometimes I feel bad about it, other times I feel good about it.

2. Lust: I'm only human and so is god (Damn I just did it again! There too ARG!)

3. Wrath: I've physically hurt a lot of people because of my anger, in sports and out. By in sports I mean cheap in the pile stuff. (Twisting someone's neck, shin digs, kicking, etc).

4. 1st Commandment: Worshipped no god for a while before I became agnostic.

I was going to hell long before any of this. I was an unbaptized baby with a vicious temperment and a tendency to stand alone. When people worshipped god I said it was because they were weak. Yay for hell!

Despite all this I am still a good person who puts others before himself.

Cursed heavens! Why a creature of such exquisite perfection to launch a thousand ships and break a million hearts? Why? Why?
So go kidnap, return to your city with, ravish, marry, and fight a ten-year-long war with the compatriots of Beautiful Darkness. Then get your city burned down. Alternatively I'll do all that for the misquote :D

Now, as to why I'm going to hell... why am I not going to hell?

So go kidnap, return to your city with, ravish, marry, and fight a ten-year-long war with the compatriots of Beautiful Darkness. Then get your city burned down. Alternatively I'll do all that for the misquote :D

Now, as to why I'm going to hell... why am I not going to hell?

"Misquoting" is an outmoded idea. Nowadays we call it "Creative Re-synthesis." :D

"Misquoting" is an outmoded idea. Nowadays we call it "Creative Re-synthesis." :D
I always thought it was paraphrasing :D

But the original sounds better:
"Is this the face that launched a thousand ships,
And burned the topless towers of Troy?"
Lovely alliteration in the latter line, like nothing could replicate...

I always thought it was paraphrasing :D

But the original sounds better:

Lovely alliteration in the latter line, like nothing could replicate...

Though in the case of Beautiful Darkness, it's never just about her face. It's total perfection. :)

I'm not going to hell, because i believe in no such thing. I will however bring donuts if i turn out to be wrong when i die ;)

Though in the case of Beautiful Darkness, it's never just about her face. It's total perfection. :)
Irrelevant. I mean if Helen's face could do that, what about the rest of her, this being the most beautiful and perfect women in the whole of creation from the beginning to the end?

Does anyone know if the crime of Soddom is a mortal sin? Does anyone know what it even really was? Because I want a go...

I want a part of whatever is fun enough to make God nuke a city.

That's what I mean! Soddomy isn't really fun enough to make God nuke a city (I know, I've tried it), so what is, I wonder?

That's what I mean! Soddomy isn't really fun enough to make God nuke a city (I know, I've tried it), so what is, I wonder?

Whatever it was even little children could do it cause God killed them too.

Though in the case of Beautiful Darkness, it's never just about her face. It's total perfection. :)

:D

:fluffle:

If you can't seduce your boyfriend into having sex with you then I would definitely say that he doesn't have enough sex drive to satisfy you when you are married. Be honest. Tell him that you need him to be a man for you and try him and dry him out. And give some time to improve if his technique is lacking at first. There's a chance he'll be a right cracker once he gets started.

So, from my standpoint, I either give in to seduction leaving me in serious doubts as to my own free will... or I resist, leaving me in serious doubts as to my sexual performance in the future.

Hmm. I'm going to have to say I'm electing for the latter.

And I'm athiest, so I'm going to hell.

Whatever it was even little children could do it cause God killed them too.
Little children can do sodomy, just not very well.

I'm not going to hell because I'm immortal.

Or actually, I'm already there. Eternal life is hell. :(
(This is when you're supposed to volunteer to do something to make my life more interesting... like recommend a good video game or something. No, seriously, what did you expect?)

Czardas, just start thinking. And keep thinking. That or turn off the life support :D

Czardas, just start thinking. And keep thinking. That or turn off the life support :D
I've been thinking for the last six thousand or so Multiversal Years (to put it in perspective, a Multiversal Nanosecond is about 1,500 Earth years). And I haven't gotten very far.

I've been thinking for the last six thousand or so Multiversal Years (to put it in perspective, a Multiversal Nanosecond is about 1,500 Earth years). And I haven't gotten very far.
Then think harder, dammit, we need the meaning of life, Deep Blue!

I'm going to hell because the property there is quickly becoming immensely valuable.

Sure, it's not the nicest scenery, but it's close to the centre of the rapidly expanding commercial centre of the world and the night life is anything but boring.

I'm going to hell because the property there is quickly becoming immensely valuable.

Sure, it's not the nicest scenery, but it's close to the centre of the rapidly expanding commercial centre of the world and the night life is anything but boring.
And its got all the best music, well all the best music of dead bands :D

I'm going to hell because all the cool people go there. :)

Nah, atheist.

Then think harder, dammit, we need the meaning of life, Deep Blue!
The answer is 42.

You haven't asked what the question is yet, though. :D

The answer is 42.

You haven't asked what the question is yet, though. :D
That's not the meaning, that's the answer to the ultimate question, a different matter entirely ;)

And hell, I'm part of the machine to find the question :D

(This is when you're supposed to volunteer to do something to make my life more interesting... like recommend a good video game or something. No, seriously, what did you expect?)Well, there's ragnarok online. Which is good for wasting a few weeks if you like RPGs. You could try ROforever or liquid-nitRO (both free servers)
And there's always webcomics, good for wasting inordinate amounts of time.

Ok so we will play a little game where you tell all of NS something bad you did today that will probably get you into hell(even if you don't believe in it)

Im going to hell because, I got an erection in church today. Damn preacher's daughter..


I spent real quality time with a priest's daughter for over a year. I dont think that sends you to hell, though.

That's not the meaning, that's the answer to the ultimate question, a different matter entirely ;)
Oh, of course. The meaning of life is to find the meaning of life. How could I have forgotten? :p

And hell, I'm part of the machine to find the question :D
Not for long. Pretty soon the Vogons are going to come along and demolish you to build an interplanetary highway instead. :D

Oh, of course. The meaning of life is to find the meaning of life. How could I have forgotten? :p
Of course! And yet you've found the meaning of life so your life is meaningless... :D
Not for long. Pretty soon the Vogons are going to come along and demolish you to build an interplanetary highway instead. :D
Yup, and yet we haven't done anything to prepare for this. Damn. I think I need to smashmy brains out with a brick wrapped in gold foil and a lemon...

Well, it's only 9:30 am, but I'm already going to hell because I've been messing about on NationStates while at work.

Well, it's only 9:30 am, but I'm already going to hell because I've been messing about on NationStates while at work.

Dont worry man, I've been doing that for the last 4 hours....

I've created my own god (wich is ironic because god is supposed to create things, not being created. I'm worshipping my own creation!)

Am I going to hell for that? I mean, if I am the creator of my god, he might not send me to hell because I am it's goddess. I wouldn't send my god to hell...
(If I carry on thinking like this, sooner or later me and my god... :fluffle: )



Anyway, if we create gods, gods can't send us to hell, can they? We created them... we can kill them!


Oh god, I'm confused.

Xenophanes: "Man created God in his own image"

I am going to Hell for no particular reason, other than I have a job waiting for me.

I seduced the preacher's wife, led her away from her religion, and 'convinced' her to vote liberal the last election.

That and the whole 'banging in the baptismal pool' episode. Hell, she had keys, it was after hours, and I'm an evil bastard.

I'm pretty sure that where I'm going after I die will have free heat.

Oh my, I'm in love! :D

Anyway heaven or hell or where-ever, a fluffle for you :fluffle:

Thank You. I'll be in hell. You can find me next to the soda machine. See you there. Maybe we can make it a date? Course I'll expect you to put out on the first date.

if you hate those kinda guys why are you dating one?

I'm not dating him anymore as of 4 Hours ago.

I am now going to hell because my now ex-boyfriend caught me fucking my ex again...LoL

I seduced the preacher's wife, led her away from her religion, and 'convinced' her to vote liberal the last election.

That and the whole 'banging in the baptismal pool' episode. Hell, she had keys, it was after hours, and I'm an evil bastard.

I'm pretty sure that where I'm going after I die will have free heat.
That was a sweet first post.

I divorced my gay same-sex husband this morning. I performed three abortions and shrieked "HAIL SATAN" numerous times while I was carrying them out. After lunch I went home and masturbated to "The Da-Vinci Code" and used Mel Gibson's name in vain untill dinner. After dinner I spent a quiet evening carving idols in the likeness of Harry Potter and lusting after my neighbors wife (my neighbor is a lesbian). Then I fell asleep to the gentle and soothing sound of "the evolution of species" audiobook.

I was a glutton.

i'm going to hell because i distrust those that love me.

I divorced my gay same-sex husband this morning. I performed three abortions and shrieked "HAIL SATAN" numerous times while I was carrying them out. After lunch I went home and masturbated to "The Da-Vinci Code" and used Mel Gibson's name in vain untill dinner. After dinner I spent a quiet evening carving idols in the likeness of Harry Potter and lusting after my neighbors wife (my neighbor is a lesbian). Then I fell asleep to the gentle and soothing sound of "the evolution of species" audiobook.
I went on a murder spree, killing one hundred and seven stem cell cultures. Then I smoked some pot, attended a Black Mass, sacrificed goats and drank their blood. Afterwards I went home, burned Jesus in effigy, cast magical spells, and jacked off to hardcore gay porn.

I went on a murder spree, killing one hundred and seven stem cell cultures. Then I smoked some pot, attended a Black Mass, sacrificed goats and drank their blood. Afterwards I went home, burned Jesus in effigy, cast magical spells, and jacked off to hardcore gay porn.

That's so juvenile...I stopped doing all those things when I was turned 15.

Ummm...For...Selective..sociopathic...ness.

That's so juvenile...I stopped doing all those things when I was turned 15.
Pffft. Like Harry Potter is so mature and high-brow.

I'm going to hell for having a mind of my own and not just conforming and obeying.

Pffft. Like Harry Potter is so mature and high-brow.
You're right...

But I just can't help myself, it's a fetish.

Well I have news for you guys...
According to churh no one is going to hell today... no not just today but ever!
Don't you know Jesus paid for all the sins of humanity before he left the table ?

Sin freely as you wish 'cause its prepaidd.hip hip hurraaah for Jesus! I think I will become christian too because it sounds fun to sin and its already repented :D
This is (almost) exacly what Martin Luther's point was to the RCs.

Hmmmm... what have i done well theres premarital sex trying to kill someone and having the cops called on me umm way to much masterbation and what else oh yes for beleving in both science and being a catholoic

I'm an atheist -- swear to God.

Why am I going to hell ? I work tech support and feed customers company propaganda (Is that how you spell that word? I can never remember) even when I know what they want me to say defies logic or it just complete BS.
Beat that!

It really doesn't matter what you do. It's not what you do that gets you sent to hell.

I'm Jewish. That should be sufficient.

Let's check off the seven deadly happiness-givers:

Lust: Yes.
Envy: Certainly.
Sloth: I haven't moved in... 6 1/2 hours.
Greed: Yes.
Wrath: I beat up my little brother because he threw a sponge at me. Does that count?
Pride: If I wasn't so conceited, I'd be perfect.
Gluttony: Hell yes.


Edit: Right. While we're at it, I'm Jewish and I masturbate.

1. not attending church
2. watching porn
3. thinking dirty
4. touching meself :)
5. pretending to kill someone in my dreams/thoughts
6. eating seafood (its a sin if you look it up in the book of Leviticus, its weird... I know)

be sure and say hello to the devil for me.

[I'm going to hell because...]

I'm a dragon?

I listened to rock music, and that's about it.

Ah Im soryy how could I forgot!!!
Im playing roleplaying games. I have a 7level wizard 16 level sorceror (dual-classed, and dual classing is reason enough to go to hell) and I cast fireballs. And My character is chosen of Mystra goddess of magic.
Im not a christian =p yeah well, but I wanted to be part of game snifff snifff :( Im actually a muslim but I see little difference between dumb enough christians and dumb enough muslims or jews. All can be pretty evangelist when they are ignorant enough shouting that you wil go to hell for this or that.

Well, considering that I'm part of the "true faith", and haven't done anything that bad... well, I'll be praying for you while you fry... (actually, cancel that - making jokes about damnation is a sin, curse it!)

I divorced my gay same-sex husband this morning. I performed three abortions and shrieked "HAIL SATAN" numerous times while I was carrying them out. After lunch I went home and masturbated to "The Da-Vinci Code" and used Mel Gibson's name in vain untill dinner. After dinner I spent a quiet evening carving idols in the likeness of Harry Potter and lusting after my neighbors wife (my neighbor is a lesbian). Then I fell asleep to the gentle and soothing sound of "the evolution of species" audiobook.
That has to be one of the best posts ever. At least among the top 200 or so. http://assets.jolt.co.uk/forums/images/icons/icon14.gif

Well, considering that I'm part of the "true faith"
W00t... another person who worships the Invisible Flying Pink Unicorn Monster! I thought I was the only one! According to my Scriptures it's the only true faith and all non-believers are doomed to an afterlife in a dark and fiery place!

I'm going to heaven because I'm a clown. We're like dogs that way. :)

I'm going to heaven because I'm a clown. We're like dogs that way. :)

Or maybe dogs are like clowns that way.

W00t... another person who worships the Invisible Flying Pink Unicorn Monster! I thought I was the only one! According to my Scriptures it's the only true faith and all non-believers are doomed to an afterlife in a dark and fiery place!

Sure... sure, I worship the Invisible Flying Pink Unicorn Monster... wtf? What are the religious laws of your religion, anyway? Do you need to pray, or are there weird dietary requirements, or anything? Whatever... (Oh wait, sarcasm is a sin... shoot...)

Sure... sure, I worship the Invisible Flying Pink Unicorn Monster... wtf? What are the religious laws of your religion, anyway? Do you need to pray, or are there weird dietary requirements, or anything? Whatever... (Oh wait, sarcasm is a sin... shoot...)
Yes, you need to pray 144 times a day, as 144 is the Magic Number of the IFPUM. Likewise, you must chew all of your food 144 times before swallowing it, and you may not eat anything containing coconut, as that is a Sin against the Invisible Flying Pink Unicorn Monster.

And if sarcasm is a sin, I'm Satan.

Yes, you need to pray 144 times a day, as 144 is the Magic Number of the IFPUM. Likewise, you must chew all of your food 144 times before swallowing it, and you may not eat anything containing coconut, as that is a Sin against the Invisible Flying Pink Unicorn Monster.

And if sarcasm is a sin, I'm Satan.

*eats jellybeans*

Yeah what he said, all hail what's his face.

Ok so we will play a little game where you tell all of NS something bad you did today that will probably get you into hell(even if you don't believe in it)

Well, for starters I am female, so I'm already extra sinful and dirty by the time I get out of bed. I take my birth control pill in the morning, which is another Hell-worthy offense, especially since I am also in a relationship and am having non-procreative sex.

Then I go to work, which means going into a science lab and empirically investigating the natural world. That's a MAJOR no-no.

I have shrimp for lunch. I'm sure somebody's God wants me to go to hell for that.

Ooh, I forgot, this whole time I've been walking around in jeans and a t-shirt, which is a hell-worthy offense because I'm a woman dressing like a man.

After work I walk home down a public street with my head, forearms, and ankles uncovered. I understand that several religions feel I will go to hell for this.

At home, I do not make dinner for my man, because it is his night to cook. Hell again.

I watch a television program or two, most likely with nudity and profanity, and I enjoy it. Hell, hell, hell.

At some point there is probably some of that extra-marital sex I was telling you about. Hell.

I do not say my prayers before I go to bed at night. I also tend to sleep in the nude during summer months. Hellity hell hell hellery.

*eats jellybeans*

Yeah what he said, all hail what's his face.
Exactly.

/rides on a nearby roller coaster/

"I'm going to hell because...."
That's where home is?

I took a page from the bible, rolled a joint with it and smoked it in a church bathroom

Well, for starters I am female, so I'm already extra sinful and dirty by the time I get out of bed. I take my birth control pill in the morning, which is another Hell-worthy offense, especially since I am also in a relationship and am having non-procreative sex.

Then I go to work, which means going into a science lab and empirically investigating the natural world. That's a MAJOR no-no.

I have shrimp for lunch. I'm sure somebody's God wants me to go to hell for that.

Ooh, I forgot, this whole time I've been walking around in jeans and a t-shirt, which is a hell-worthy offense because I'm a woman dressing like a man.

After work I walk home down a public street with my head, forearms, and ankles uncovered. I understand that several religions feel I will go to hell for this.

At home, I do not make dinner for my man, because it is his night to cook. Hell again.

I watch a television program or two, most likely with nudity and profanity, and I enjoy it. Hell, hell, hell.

At some point there is probably some of that extra-marital sex I was telling you about. Hell.

I do not say my prayers before I go to bed at night. I also tend to sleep in the nude during summer months. Hellity hell hell hellery.
Already I have a major crush on you. :fluffle:

Already I have a major crush on you. - snip -
She's taken... (and never use that emoticon again within my presence or I will throw a brick at you)

"I'm going to hell because...."
That's where home is?

They do say home is where the heart is.

She's taken... (and never use that emoticon again within my presence or I will throw a brick at you)
Damn.

Well seeing as the answer is Morman, I don't think I have to do much in order to get into hell. Ah fuck it, I'm totally gonna make Satan my bitch when I get there.

im going to hell becouse....
1: i cursed god for putting me thugh years of pain watching family suffer illness
2: i have studyed the occult in minor detail
3: i eat seafood (and syntheitc seafood hmmm scampi frys )
4: i had sex before marrage with a very beutifull catholic girl who later beacme my wife after childbirth
5: im an aithist
6: i listen to hard rock good enough to make ears bleed
7: i spend more time on the crapper than in any church
8: if i ever encounter any person whom annoys me i envisage gougin outthe eyes of said person and skull buggering them
9: i do all this beind the smile of a god fearing person .... now thats evil... lol(i put im c/o/e *church of england* on all my applications )

and as for hell itself well if god exists and he forgives all sin (looked in the bible) im saved or screwd so its a 50/50 bet unless you count there is no god in which case a 25/25/25/25 chance of living a hevenly afterlife
25/no god u rot
25/there is afterlife but no god
25/there is god im toast
25/there is god an he said its ok heres a beer good buddy

Yes, you need to pray 144 times a day, as 144 is the Magic Number of the IFPUM. Likewise, you must chew all of your food 144 times before swallowing it, and you may not eat anything containing coconut, as that is a Sin against the Invisible Flying Pink Unicorn Monster.

And if sarcasm is a sin, I'm Satan.

Realy? Hello Satan! Just got to ask - you've probably changed chew-toys since the time of Dante, so, is Hitler or Stalin there? Just curious, please don't bite my head off or possess my dog...

I took a page from the bible, rolled a joint with it and smoked it in a church bathroom

Yeah, that's what, three "mortal sins"? First of all, there's destruction of The Sacred Text, which is against almost every religion, including Christianity, then there's Destruction of The Sacred Body (my priest says smoking is a sin, as is doing drugs and drinking...) and then, of course, the fact that you're doing something that you find fun (smoking the joint), which goes against some religions...

Let's see...

Sacrificing a lamb to the flight gods
Not attending church
Not beleaving
and I am currently into the vodka

Thats all I can come up for now.... I should see about making it a round 5 for the day...suggestions?
yes give me the vodka. That's giving a minor an intoxication liquor.

Damn.
Cursing? That'll get you sent to hell double-quick...

(Remember kids, hell's like a nasty night-club where instead of barring your way, the "bouncer" is screaming for you to come in...)

Of course, now I've made a sarcastic joke, and, as I've said before, sarcasm is a sin in my religion...

1.I'm agnostic
2.I support same-sex marriages, euthanasia, the legalization of drugs and prostitution, and i'm pro-choice
3.I have a very dirty mind and have lots of impure thoughts
4.I've used those dirty thoughts to make myself happy on numerous occasions
5.I have taken the Lord's name in vain and i have cursed
6.I drink occasionally, which i know is a sin in at least one religion
7.I listen to rock music
8.I watch movies and TV shows with sex and violence, and any other number of non-religious things
9.I don't believe in censoring books because of their content, i've probably read lots that religious institutions have tried to censor
10.I sometimes eat pork
11.I am a woman who works and doesn't want children, and who dresses in the way she chooses and leaves the house on her own
12.I have no problem with sex or children out of wedlock, i think divorce is a perfectly viable option, and i don't think anyone should ever have to get married

I could go on, but i'd probably be here forever

I'm atheist, nonreligious, nonconformist, anti-authoritarian, am not homophobic, frequently agree with Bottle, like heavy metal music, play video games, don't believe in marriage, don't believe in gender roles and other stuff.

Realy? Hello Satan! Just got to ask - you've probably changed chew-toys since the time of Dante, so, is Hitler or Stalin there? Just curious, please don't bite my head off or possess my dog...
Nay, Hitler went to heaven, it turns out God is a fundamentalist christian so he supports killing all the jews and gay people. Stalin's in hell because he was an evil commie and commies suck.

/bites your head off anyway and possesses your dog/

Nay, Hitler went to heaven, it turns out God is a fundamentalist christian so he supports killing all the jews and gay people. Stalin's in hell because he was an evil commie and commies suck.

/bites your head off anyway and possesses your dog/

You should've possessed his dog then had the dog bite his head off.

You should've possessed his dog then had the dog bite his head off.
Meh, too much trouble. And head tastes good anyway.... ;)

Ok.... nevermind.

Meh, too much trouble. And head tastes good anyway.... ;)

Ok.... nevermind.

Well, if it was a small dog, it would've taken a while to get through the neck, and there's still the whole betrayed by "man's best friend" thing.

There are six nuns buried under my floor.

I blasphemed a few dozen times today. Whups. Going directly down. Also, lust. And pride. And a wish to kill every human, ever. That counts, right?

Nay, Hitler went to heaven, it turns out God is a fundamentalist christian so he supports killing all the jews and gay people. Stalin's in hell because he was an evil commie and commies suck.

/bites your head off anyway and possesses your dog/

No, Fido, no! Down boy, down! Don't bite my leg off! Naughty boy! Bad dog, bad dog, bring back my leg!!! ;)

Ok so we will play a little game where you tell all of NS something bad you did today that will probably get you into hell(even if you don't believe in it)

Im going to hell because, I got an erection in church today. Damn preacher's daughter..
I'm going to hell because, um, well, just because. I haven't done anything hellworthy today, but I think I'd prefer hell, so there you go.

According to this (http://www.hotlanta.com/helltest.htm) test I scored 52 and am "normal".
According to this (http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv) test I'm going to the 6th level of Hell and my highest scores were for being a heretic and lustful.
According to this (http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=3910728582630298788) test I'm going to Hell level 2 based on morals to do with sex.

Wahey!

I'm not going to hell because I believe that Unicron will eat us all first. We're going to be robot space-poop.

Test results:

13
Level 6
Level 1

I'm not very keen on the idea of Hell, Because it'll be too crowded.

Can't there be an inbetween? Hellean?

Can't there be an inbetween? Hellean?

There is Purgatory.

sins... lesse.... umm i dunno ... i guess being athiest downthere is a one way ticket ;) lolz

Other then that i am a pretty good person... lolz

Test Results:

13
Purgatory
Heaven Lvl 2

63
Seventh level of hell

Oh well, I take hell over ignorance any day.

I'm going to hell cos I made a holocaust joke, something about Hilter being fucked over bu his gas bill, oh wait, didnt they kill Jesus? yay!! I may still make it!

I'm going to hell because I heard it was a nice vacation spot.

I stole a cookie once.

Ok so we will play a little game where you tell all of NS something bad you did today that will probably get you into hell(even if you don't believe in it)

Im going to hell because, I got an erection in church today. Damn preacher's daughter..

I didn't do anything to put me in hell today. The past weekend, or a few weeks ago, yeah.

Test Results:

40
Dis (heresy rocks)
Level 3

What, today, would have sent me to hell... well, pretty much the fact that I'm an atheist. :p

1 (mainly because I'm underage, so I have never done anything involving alcohol, drugs, or sex. I'll check back once I'm married.)
Purgatory (YAY!)
Heaven Level 1

However, those tests don't ask you your religion. See, I'm Jewish. So under traditional Christian thought, I'm a heretic and will burn in Hell. Of course, if you get down to it, I think CHRISTIANS are heretics (well, those that are technically Jewish, which most of them are not), and will get an extra month or so in Gehenna, depending on what kind of people they are. Mother Teresa probably spent an hour or so, while Phelps has likely earned karet - if he dies without atoning, he ceases to exist completely.

What I did today that will send me to Hell:
I interacted verbally with girls

That's why god created prostitutes. When Jesus saw the prostitute in the temple and turned the table over he didn't use his hands you know.

that is soooooo horible but i couldn't stop laughting. Mind if i quote u from now on.

Why does everyone have to mock Christianity? If people were saying such terrible things about Judaism, they would be mocked and despised - the same if they derided the Islamic religion (which is in general much stricter than every Christian sect I've ever heard of), they'd be hated by the same people who mock the Christians! Why is this so? Please, enlighten me, the poor Sectarian, who must be an idiot if he believes in Christianity!

I'm really going to hell.

I got an erection in church today, and I'm a priest.

LOL!!

that is soooooo horible but i couldn't stop laughting. Mind if i quote u from now on.


I can't stop laughing!!!

Erm..... on the train back from outward bounds, which was, incidentally, shite, I hit on a 15 year old. Is that bad?

The trick is to get into heaven just so you can fuck that up for everyone else:D

Anyway I'm going to hell becasue I drank the alcohol...underage :eek:

Erm..... on the train back from outward bounds, which was, incidentally, shite, I hit on a 15 year old. Is that bad?

Dude, you went to Out Ward bound? My school had to do that!

You live in Florida?

The trick is to get into heaven just so you can fuck that up for everyone else:D

Anyway I'm going to hell becasue I drank the alcohol...underage :eek:

And probably for making that comment too ;)

lol God hears all!

Dude, you went to Out Ward bound? My school had to do that!

You live in Florida?

No. Essex. Slight difference. is Outward Bounds wank in the USA too?

And probably for making that comment too ;)

lol God hears all!

Meh I'm sure God heard so much stuff like that he now wears earplugs

No. Essex. Slight difference. is Outward Bounds wank in the USA too?

Oh yeah. A week of hell.

Meh I'm sure God heard so much stuff like that he now wears earplugs


I bet he has Bose Sound Cancelling ear phones in addition to the ear plugs ;)

Oh yeah. A week of hell.

Yup. Where did you do it? We went to sunny mid wales. Nowt there but hills, rocks and water in a variety of sodding annoying forms.

Actually, how many warnings did you get?

I'm going to Hell because I'm an atheist. :D

I'm going to hell because gravity is my friend, why fight it.

Yup. Where did you do it? We went to sunny mid wales. Nowt there but hills, rocks and water in a variety of sodding annoying forms.

Actually, how many warnings did you get?


In the Everglades. Bugs, heat, and hippies as our leaders. They hated me because of my pro-army attitude ;)


Probably had something to do with the fact that I knew more about survival than they did.

I'm going to hell because gravity is my friend, why fight it.

lol

In the Everglades. Bugs, heat, and hippies as our leaders. They hated me because of my pro-army attitude ;)


Probably had something to do with the fact that I knew more about survival than they did.

Quite possible.....;)

Anyhoo, is a two year age gap that bad?

Quite possible.....;)

Anyhoo, is a two year age gap that bad?

Nah. Two years is acceptable. Question is, how old are you? That will determine my answer. I'm guessing your about my age, so 15-16 eh?

If the girl is 13-14 then theres really nothing wrong with it. In my school, Seniors (18 year olds), generally date freshman girls (14-15-16 year olds).

Nah. Two years is acceptable. Question is, how old are you? That will determine my answer. I'm guessing your about my age, so 15-16 eh?

If the girl is 13-14 then theres really nothing wrong with it. In my school, Seniors (18 year olds), generally date freshman girls (14-15-16 year olds).

I be 17, so work it out from there. I personally don't see a problem, but, well, the big 16 thing is a bit of a social stigma?

I be 17, so work it out from there. I personally don't see a problem, but, well, the big 16 thing is a bit of a social stigma?

I guess its looser in the US. Its basically said that two years younger than you is acceptable. Sometimes three.

I guess its looser in the US. Its basically said that two years younger than you is acceptable. Sometimes three.

She was cute as fuck as well.:)

I really shouldn't do this to myself....

She was cute as fuck as well.:)

I really shouldn't do this to myself....


In the immortal words of my dear friend Matt Kehrer, "Tap dat ass!"

In the immortal words of my dear friend Matt Kehrer, "Tap dat ass!"

meh?

meh?

American slang for go after her.

American slang for go after her.

Mebee. 60 miles is a tad too far for the regular jaunt....

Mebee. 60 miles is a tad too far for the regular jaunt....

You didn't say that originally. I thought you meant she lived in your area...

I'm going to hell because I told God I wouldn't go to Mass until he stopped screwing me over.

I am going to hell for no reason.

You didn't say that originally. I thought you meant she lived in your area...

no no no no. Shame really.....:(

I.. I.. *starts bawling eyes out*

I was born.. a poor black man..


:eek:




AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! IT'S MICHAEL JACKSON!!!!!! :eek:

I think I'll be fine, cause theres no such thing, ya see...

However, if im wrong...

Im going to hell for so many things, but most importantly my nasty sense of humor.

I think a loudly blasted fart in a holy and quite place is absolutely fucking hilarious.

I think theres no subject that should ever being made of, most especially the darker, and more twisted side of humanity.
I like innocent toilet humor, but I really like absolutely filthy humor.

I love jokes involving Religious peoples, and saintly celebrities are the perfect target for a good humorous slap in the face.

I made a crack about Ghandi a few minutes ago in another thread.
Its not personal, Im a big fan of Mahatma Ghandi.

I'm going to hell because I performed several abortions today using a blender and a penknife.

I'm going to hell because I performed several abortions today using a blender and a penknife.

Baby flavored shake? Mmmmmmmm....

I'm going to hell because of my recurring Jim Morrison fantasies. Is it worse if they're dead?

:eek:




AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! IT'S MICHAEL JACKSON!!!!!! :eek:
The ghetto is such a depressing place :(

Baby flavored shake? Mmmmmmmm....
How do you make a baby float?

You take a glass of root beer and add two scoops of dead baby.

I'm going to hell because I decided to start worshipping the Greek gods.

I'm going to hell because...I went to bed at 7 am and got up at 7 pm. Therefore, I am a vampire.

I'm going to hell because...I went to bed at 7 am and got up at 7 pm. Therefore, I am a vampire.
Old Testament God hates vampires.

I'm going to hell because...I went to bed at 7 am and got up at 7 pm. Therefore, I am a vampire.
*takes notes for future cake*

Ok so we will play a little game where you tell all of NS something bad you did today that will probably get you into hell(even if you don't believe in it)

Im going to hell because, I got an erection in church today. Damn preacher's daughter..
mmm preacher's daughter.... *drools* :p


I'm going to hell because.... i had sex on god's day of rest ;) (now i know why you're supposed to rest :p)

I'm going to hell because.... i had sex on god's day of rest ;) (now i know why you're supposed to rest :p) Wait - it's only 9:30 am where you are! So you woke up that early on a Sunday, had sex - and are already online to tell us about it?? Aww, no, go back to bed! Now! :p

Wait - it's only 9:30 am where you are! So you woke up that early on a Sunday, had sex - and are already online to tell us about it?? Aww, no, go back to bed! Now! :p
we've been up since 8 ;) :D
and we are back in bed... amy's nicely stroking my arm :) (the benefits of a) having a laptop, and b) having an awesome girlfriend such as her :fluffle: :))

I wonder if there is a reason I'm not going...

we've been up since 8 ;) :D Well, yeah, I was kinda assuming for your benefit that you hadn't only been up since, say, 9:20 am. :p
and we are back in bed... amy's nicely stroking my arm :) (the benefits of a) having a laptop, and b) having an awesome girlfriend such as her :fluffle: :))Ah, right, the laptop. Didn't think of that.

Have fun, you two. *coughlogoffnowcough* :p

I wonder if there is a reason I'm not going...
You're too stoned to be bothered even getting up from your chair? ;)

You're too stoned to be bothered even getting up from your chair? ;)
Stoners exist to frustrate hell. We take it in stride.

Stoners exist to frustrate hell. We take it in stride.


Preach it, brotha.

I'd also like to add:

If the Catholics are right, and masturbation is a sin...Im on my to being as bad as Hitler.

Wish me luck!

I'd also like to add:

If the Catholics are right, and masturbation is a sin...Im on my to being as bad as Hitler.

Wish me luck!
Well, if they are right I'd think we'd need all our luck for ourselves. :p