NationStates Jolt Archive

Yeah, I think you look a bit like Ritlina...just a bit.
What's Ritlina? *Googles* This was the closest I could find...
http://www.thegooddrugsguide.com/gallery/images/other_ritalin.jpg

I have not yet begun to tease -- and at the rate FD is going, that's all he's going to get. ;)
That's prolly all I would have gotten anyway.:( We both knew that from the beginning. But like I said before, I'm not quite ready to give up on you.
*once more awaits tease*
(no extraneous fluffles, please)

What's Ritlina? *Googles* This was the closest I could find...
http://www.thegooddrugsguide.com/gallery/images/other_ritalin.jpg
LOL Ritlina is a guy. It was his name, but it's something else now like Naltiir or some such.

That's certainly an incentive for him to try ever harder, which ... since he resurrected this thread (excellent anecdote, btw :) ), i'm sure he already had something like that in mind, anyway :p
You know me too well. Or maybe you know masculinity's influence on me too well....Either way, that's about the gist of if. Thanks.

Oh, I never knew La Dame knew the band... (http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y79/Goomg/zomgnoooes.jpg)
ROFLMAO!!!
*tries to stand up, falls down laughing harder*

How long do these things usually go on before getting kicked to the spam curb?
I'll wager we could make it last for a hundred pages. If they haven't figured it out by now, either they missed it somehow or they're really busy elsewhere or they just think its not really unimportant enough to warrant removal.

I think you should talk with ☞La Dame☜ about the spam part.
Why? Because she likes this (http://www.websmileys.com/sm/crazy/477.gif)? Come now. You know you enjoyed it as well. Straughn, if you do a sequel, TG me to motivate me to look for it. I might actually have something relevant to add.:D

How long did that thread about who you'd want in the Big Brother house that deteriorated into spam last?

*sigh* why don't you read over the last few pages again...
That wouldn't help. There were two twelve things. JuNii's and mine.

That wouldn't help. There were two twelve things. JuNii's and mine.
Did you have to read over the last few pages to check that?

How long did that thread about who you'd want in the Big Brother house that deteriorated into spam last?
I don't know. I had nothing to do with that one...

I don't know. I had nothing to do with that one...

Right now it's just past 10,000 and going strong in Spam...I forget when it got sent there....after 4,000 I think. It was definitely spam by 500 though.

Did you have to read over the last few pages to check that?
I read it sometime while I caught up on the ten pages I missed.

Right now it's just past 10,000 and going strong in Spam...I forget when it got sent there....after 4,000 I think. It was definitely spam by 500 though.
Prolly hasn't been anything else since.

WooT! The $ shot!
The what now? :confused:

Woot! I Love it, and I'm sure the Lady will too. http://www.abestweb.com/smilies/arsespank.gif
hmm. *in a haughty British accent* How crude! Well I never! */accent* :p

Oh, I never knew La Dame knew the band... (http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y79/Goomg/zomgnoooes.jpg)
teehee. *turns on "smells like teen spirit" just for the hell of it*

I think you should talk with ☞La Dame☜ about the spam part.
Ouch. That hurt, Ruffy. :( Since when did my name become synonymous with spam anyway?

teehee. *turns on "smells like teen spirit" just for the hell of it*

I gots Digital Love by Daft Punk...no, wait. Now it's Lemontree by Fool's Garden.

Ouch. That hurt, Ruffy. :( Since when did my name become synonymous with spam anyway?

After that "La Dame du spam" comment.

I was serious; you're being facetious. Yes, I call them "sympathy fluffles" because that's what they are: fluffles for sympathy. I could change it to empathy fluffles if you like. I'd never be a pet and refuse to believe anyone could turn me into one. But it is good to see you're back to teasing.;) :fluffle:
We shall see. ;)

That's prolly all I would have gotten anyway.:( We both knew that from the beginning. But like I said before, I'm not quite ready to give up on you.
*once more awaits tease*
(no extraneous fluffles, please)
Like I said, we shall see. You may find yourself getting sporadically teased in lots of threads. It all depends on how you react. I have to have material to work with...

hmm. *in a haughty British accent* How crude! Well I never! */accent* :p
oh reeeeaaaallly...

and who was it that was practically tripping over herself setting up the camera when Ruffy got spanked?

*coughladamecough*


With all the talk about overweight americans, there is one woman of whom you will never, ever hear me say that of.

in the family care center (psyche ward for kids) one of our female co-workers was leaving the area after fixing someones computer. as she was waiting to be let out, she felt a presence behind her, while turning, she caught a glimpse of one of the "Patients" standing behind her. I say a glimpse because the nursing Secretary immediatly grabbed that kid in a bear hug and took him down with more finess than any sumo wrestler in Japan.

apparently, that child was in restraints (being one of the more violent patients) and somehow got out and snuck up behind our technician.

after that, we all pay our respects to that Nursing Secretary.

oh reeeeaaaallly...

and who was it that was practically tripping over herself setting up the camera when Ruffy got spanked?

*coughladamecough*
Moi? Jamais!:p

With all the talk about overweight americans, there is one woman of whom you will never, ever hear me say that of.

in the family care center (psyche ward for kids) one of our female co-workers was leaving the area after fixing someones computer. as she was waiting to be let out, she felt a presence behind her, while turning, she caught a glimpse of one of the "Patients" standing behind her. I say a glimpse because the nursing Secretary immediatly grabbed that kid in a bear hug and took him down with more finess than any sumo wrestler in Japan.

apparently, that child was in restraints (being one of the more violent patients) and somehow got out and snuck up behind our technician.

after that, we all pay our respects to that Nursing Secretary.
psych wards are creepy, but for some reason, I find psychiatrists even more creepy. I always thought that to be a psychiatrist, you need to be half crazy yourself just so you can relate to your patients. I may be completely wrong on this, but that's my personal experience.

psych wards are creepy, but for some reason, I find psychiatrists even more creepy. I always thought that to be a psychiatrist, you need to be half crazy yourself just so you can relate to your patients. I may be completely wrong on this, but that's my personal experience.but really, how do you know that everyone else is crazy and it's only those few unfortunates that are sane.

oh reeeeaaaallly...

and who was it that was practically tripping over herself setting up the camera when Ruffy got spanked?

*coughladamecough*


And that was purely for the purpose of blackmail...honestly!

Oh, you was talking about Ladamesansmerci. Never mind then. :rolleyes:

but really, how do you know that everyone else is crazy and it's only those few unfortunates that are sane.
well, in the varying degrees of insanity, I'd say psychiatrists are right next to their patients. But then again, who are we to talk? :p

The what now? :confused:
Instead of me relying on my less-than-intrepid nature to find out why your Nation name is as such, you instead cut to the chase of your own recognizance ... ergo, $ shot. :)

Nothing sexual. I don't figure i really need to say anything particularly sexual - you seem to have a lot of posters buzzing around you already in that sense. ;)

Ouch. That hurt, Ruffy. :( Since when did my name become synonymous with spam anyway?
Name by name, not by nature, squire!

Instead of me relying on my less-than-intrepid nature to find out why your Nation name is as such, you instead cut to the chase of your own recognizance ... ergo, $ shot. :)

Nothing sexual. I don't figure i really need to say anything particularly sexual - you seem to have a lot of posters buzzing around you already in that sense. ;)
Okay, now it makes more sense. That comment was so completely out of the blue that I had no idea what you were even referring to.

And no, I wasn't thinking anything along the lines of innuendos either, unlike some people...*glares at entire forum*

Okay, now it makes more sense. That comment was so completely out of the blue that I had no idea what you were even referring to.

And no, I wasn't thinking anything along the lines of innuendos either, unlike some people...*glares at entire forum*
*WHISTLES INNOCENTLY*

Okay, now it makes more sense. That comment was so completely out of the blue that I had no idea what you were even referring to.

And no, I wasn't thinking anything along the lines of innuendos either, unlike some people...*glares at entire forum*
The WHOLE forum?
:confused:
I don't think i've ever ... well, perhaps once, but i usually don't.
Happily married, et cetera - besides, my wife thinks it's funny when i do that to other presumably male posters. ;)
So does Verdigroth, but usually only when it's him. :eek:

*WHISTLES INNOCENTLY*
Your feigned innocence does not fool anyone. Come clean before I unleash my hippie flower-power on you. :p

Your feigned innocence does not fool anyone. Come clean before I unleash my hippie flower-power on you. :p
*sniffs under his arms*
:confused: but I am clean...

*sniffs under his arms*
:confused: but I am clean...
'tis not your body but your mind, young grasshopper. */Chinese accent*

Your feigned innocence does not fool anyone. Come clean before I unleash my hippie flower-power on you. :pSomething like this:
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/crazy/240.gif

mixed with

http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/gen111.gif

?

Something like this:
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/crazy/240.gif

mixed with

http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/gen111.gif

?
Nah...more like http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/happy026.gif

yes...i'm going to turn him into a flower...

Nah...more like http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/happy026.gif

yes...i'm going to turn him into a flower...
Mmmmm ... polli-nation.


EDIT: That reminds me of another anecdote involving Rogers' arm.

Nah...more like http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/happy026.gif

yes...i'm going to turn him into a flower...
Realize, you're turning me into a hermaphrodite.

and My mind is clean, thank you very much. :cool:

Realize, you're turning me into a hermaphrodite.

and My mind is clean, thank you very much. :cool:
well, at least you look happy as a flower. ;)

your mind? clean? *falls on floor laughing so hard*

well, at least you look happy as a flower. ;)

your mind? clean? *falls on floor laughing so hard*Yep... wash every day with Soaps (opera that is) :D

then again, who's mind is dirty... the one saying the innuendos or the ones listening and getting them?

Yep... wash every day with Soaps (opera that is) :D

then again, who's mind is dirty... the one saying the innuendos or the ones listening and getting them?
me think'st me shalt torture you with Sweet Valley High reruns all day long...:eek:

Both. The one who's saying knows what it means, and the one who listens can't help but listen. However, if he/she gets the innuendo, then his/her mind is also dirty.

me think'st me shalt torture you with Sweet Valley High reruns all day long...:eek:

Both. The one who's saying knows what it means, and the one who listens can't help but listen. However, if he/she gets the innuendo, then his/her mind is also dirty.go ahead and try. I helped raise 5 neices and nephews... I was overexposed to Barney, Teletubbies, and spongebob squarepants.... DO YOUR WORSE! Muhahahahahahahaha!

go ahead and try. I helped raise 5 neices and nephews... I was overexposed to Barney, Teletubbies, and spongebob squarepants.... DO YOUR WORSE! Muhahahahahahahaha!
*thinks for a minute*

Fushigi Yuugi.

*thinks for a minute*

Fushigi Yuugi.
ChoBits, FLCL, His and Her Circumstances, Piano, and Escaflowne and to build up immunity against Diabeties.... Azumaga Daioh.

Hey Myo! I was wondering when you were gonna show up! :)


EDIT:BTW, go ahead and give the bolded part, if you like!

Not much to report, really, Straughn. She just said that she does hundreds of them a day and that even though each exposure amounts to a very small risk, that hundreds of them every day over time amouts to a much larger and unneccesary risk.

That's why I didn't spell it out. The truth can be boring sometimes.

ChoBits, FLCL, His and Her Circumstances, Piano, and Escaflowne and to build up immunity against Diabeties.... Azumaga Daioh.
Gravitation, not the anime either. :D

Gravitation, not the anime either. :D
Sailor Moon Stars
Stop Hibari Kun
Patallio

then add
After school (live action)
Taming of the Shrew

Sailor Moon Stars
Stop Hibari Kun
Patallio

then add
After school (live action)
Taming of the Shrew
O_O


Bambi?

O_O


Bambi?what about Bambi?

Word association. Hmmmm. Methinks you are hoping for an ancillary comment relating to medical stories in the hopes that it leads to other related issues in the hopes that if enough people feed of it as it goes on that it will develop a life of it's own and will draw out the little Mark Twain that lives in most of us.

What's that, Mark? Ok, ok, I'll tell them.

I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.
- Watermelon speech, 1907

what about Bambi?
BAMBI IS DEAD!

nevermind.

grr...i really can't think of any other horrible shows anymore without going into the REALLY horrible foreign (read: Chinese Kung-fu) shows. But...what about sesame street? That show always creeped me out...sort of...

BAMBI IS DEAD!

nevermind.

grr...i really can't think of any other horrible shows anymore without going into the REALLY horrible foreign (read: Chinese Kung-fu) shows. But...what about sesame street? That show always creeped me out...sort of...
ET.

still can't watch that movie for a second time.

and to let you know... I did cry when Bambi's mom got shot. :)

As for Sesame Street. try Electric Company. I love that show... with regular cast including Morgan Freedman, Rita Moreno, Mel Brooks, Gene Wilder, Joan Collins, Zero Monstrel, Bill Cosby... man that brings back memories.

ET.

still can't watch that movie for a second time.

and to let you know... I did cry when Bambi's mom got shot. :)

Jus' so y'all know how I stand on the Bambi issue, my favorite Bambi movie is "Bambi meets Godzilla". Short, sweet, and to the point.


STOMP

Have a nice day and don't forget to return your stewardess to her original upright position. And thank you for flying Myoair.

Jus' so y'all know how I stand on the Bambi issue, my favorite Bambi movie is "Bambi meets Godzilla". Short, sweet, and to the point.


STOMP

Have a nice day and don't forget to return your stewardess to her original upright position. And thank you for flying Myoair.
I'm with you on this. Everybody I talked to said they cried when Bambi's mom got killed; I laughed. I feel cruel and heartless, but still, DEATH TO DISNEY!

*cough*

We shall see. ;)
Nothing to see, really. Just a bunch of letters and suchlike.

I'm with you on this. Everybody I talked to said they cried when Bambi's mom got killed; I laughed. I feel cruel and heartless, but still, DEATH TO DISNEY!

*cough*
Disney is already dying. they lost their traditional Animation to the Japanese, and CGI is now being outsourced! :D

Like I said, we shall see. You may find yourself getting sporadically teased in lots of threads. It all depends on how you react. I have to have material to work with...
Pity I'm no good at providing material. At least not when it's required. Any other time, I'd prolly give you more material than you know what to do with.

Disney is already dying. they lost their traditional Animation to the Japanese, and CGI is now being outsourced! :D
They're getting obsessed with 3-D animations now with Shrek, Ice Age, Madagascar, etc.

Moi? Jamais!:p


psych wards are creepy, but for some reason, I find psychiatrists even more creepy. I always thought that to be a psychiatrist, you need to be half crazy yourself just so you can relate to your patients. I may be completely wrong on this, but that's my personal experience.
Not necessarily. Maybe some're just really empathic.

Your feigned innocence does not fool anyone. Come clean before I unleash my hippie flower-power on you. :p
It fooled me. :p

I'm with you on this. Everybody I talked to said they cried when Bambi's mom got killed; I laughed. I feel cruel and heartless, but still, DEATH TO DISNEY!

*cough*
Sure, why not. I'll go along with it.

Not much to report, really, Straughn. She just said that she does hundreds of them a day and that even though each exposure amounts to a very small risk, that hundreds of them every day over time amouts to a much larger and unneccesary risk.

That's why I didn't spell it out. The truth can be boring sometimes.
Well, i'm boring sometimes, so you brought me contentedment. :D

Also, this being an anecdote thread, and me personally not pulling any punches on the stories, i figured i should prompt you about it.

Ouch. That hurt, Ruffy. :( Since when did my name become synonymous with spam anyway?
Post of Death.

Word association. Hmmmm. Methinks you are hoping for an ancillary comment relating to medical stories in the hopes that it leads to other related issues in the hopes that if enough people feed of it as it goes on that it will develop a life of it's own and will draw out the little Mark Twain that lives in most of us.

What's that, Mark? Ok, ok, I'll tell them.

I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.
- Watermelon speech, 1907
Well, that is a great part of it, yes - but some of the movement i'd anticipated didn't really occur. Honestly you're one of the very few on this thread consciously addressing the OP.
I think, this far along, that i'm gonna be able to leave this thread a (generally) ONE-trick pony (even though it's been a good, long trick ;) ) and as i'd mentioned, the sequel(s) would ring something a bit different.

As for ulterior motive - not much of one, other than knowing that some people have some pretty funny medical experiences that under other circumstances would be far, FAR too embarassing/humiliating to bring up in public. Gotta love teh internets!

EDIT: BTW, you know of course, that it's "Samuel", not "Mark" ;)

The WHOLE forum?
:confused:
I don't think i've ever ... well, perhaps once, but i usually don't.
Happily married, et cetera - besides, my wife thinks it's funny when i do that to other presumably male posters. ;)
So does Verdigroth, but usually only when it's him. :eek:
The whole forum, I've done this before.. It depresses me when I see all the other forum places on jolt.. dead.. :(

Post of Death.
Hey now, you could at least ask me about that first. :(
You never know if i have a smilie or not for it!
http://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/tod.gif

Also ... stop feeding Dame exactly what she wants. Shame on you.
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/mad/011.gif

The whole forum, I've done this before.. It depresses me when I see all the other forum places on jolt.. dead.. :(
What?
So ... Dame's insinuation of the lasciviousness of the posters here has to with the rest of Jolt?
EVERYBODY throws the mojo at Dame? :confused:

*thinks Mel Brooks ...*
Knight jumps queen! Bishop jumps queen! Pawns jump queen! Everybody jump the queen! ...

What?
So ... Dame's insinuation of the lasciviousness of the posters here has to with the rest of Jolt?
EVERYBODY throws the mojo at Dame? :confused:

*thinks Mel Brooks ...*
Are you flirting with me?

Hey now, you could at least ask me about that first. :(
You never know if i have a smilie or not for it!
http://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/tod.gif

Also ... stop feeding Dame exactly what she wants. Shame on you.
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/mad/011.gif
:eek:

Are you flirting with me?
Zoidberg: "The important thing is I'm meeting new people."
Truman: "Bush wa. No what's your mission? Are you planning to make some kind of alien human hybrid?"
Zoidberg: "Are you coming on to me?"
Truman: "Ha! Crackers, I take exception to that!"
Zoidberg: "I'm not hearing a no…"

Medical malpractice stories then. This is a true story, though I have heard of better, such as that Tampa, FL. hospital a couple of years back.that had a doctor who had mistakenly amputated the wrong (the healthy one) foot of a diabetic patient whose other foot was the one needing ampuation.

A local hospitals' (local to where I live anyway) operating room did one of their routine counts of all their apparatus following a successful surgery, as is standard practice. What was not standard practice, was that they had to reopen said patient after it was suspected that the doctor had sewn up one of the surgical sponges inside the patient during the original procedure, when they had come up one short. And after they had reopened the patient, it was discovered that was indeed what had happened. Both surgeries were successful, although someone on the Operating Room staff did make the mistake of telling the patient's family about this occurrence, whose eyes undoubtedly lit up with dollar signs as they ran in gleeful avarice all the way to their attorney. The head nurse in the Operating Room that day told me that one. Not that it is particularly horrifying in and of itself, but I did get that bit of news first hand. The hospital shall remain nameless, but there was another different infamous incident in the same hospital and if you Google the name Orville Lynn Majors you could probably figure it out.

Moral to the story: If you get sick, avoid hospitals. You could die there, and possibly not even from the illness that had brought you there.

Zoidberg: "The important thing is I'm meeting new people."
Truman: "Bush wa. No what's your mission? Are you planning to make some kind of alien human hybrid?"
Zoidberg: "Are you coming on to me?"
Truman: "Ha! Crackers, I take exception to that!"
Zoidberg: "I'm not hearing a no…"
So you are?

:) :fluffle: :) :D ;) :eek: :cool:

Medical malpractice stories then. This is a true story, though I have heard of better, such as that Tampa, FL. hospital a couple of years back.that had a doctor who had mistakenly amputated the wrong (the healthy one) foot of a diabetic patient whose other foot was the one needing ampuation.

A local hospitals' (local to where I live anyway) operating room did one of their routine counts of all their apparatus following a successful surgery, as is standard practice. What was not standard practice, was that they had to reopen said patient after it was suspected that the doctor had sewn up one of the surgical sponges inside the patient during the original procedure, when they had come up one short. And after they had reopened the patient, it was discovered that was indeed what had happened. Both surgeries were successful, although someone on the Operating Room staff did make the mistake of telling the patient's family about this occurrence, whose eyes undoubtedly lit up with dollar signs as they ran in gleeful avarice all the way to their attorney. The head nurse in the Operating Room that day told me that one. Not that it is particularly horrifying in and of itself, but I did get that bit of news first hand. The hospital shall remain nameless, but there was another different infamous incident in the same hospital and if you Google the name Orville Lynn Majors you could probably figure it out.

Moral to the story: If you get sick, avoid hospitals. You could die there, and possibly not even from the illness that had brought you there.Man, i hope Sarkhaan gets a shot at some of this ... as well as JuNii. Were you able to read the whole thread?

EDIT: BTW, you know of course, that it's "Samuel", not "Mark" ;)

Yeah. I know. And Sam's last name was Clemons. Smart *ss.

So you are?

:) :fluffle: :) :D ;) :eek: :cool:
You mean it isn't obvious?

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11017176&postcount=819
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/aliens/13.gif

Yeah. I know. And Sam's last name was Clemons. Smart *ss.
:eek:

You mean it isn't obvious?

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11017176&postcount=819
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/aliens/13.gif
:fluffle:

Man, i hope Sarkhaan gets a shot at some of this ... as well as JuNii. Were you able to read the whole thread?

Not all 55 pages of it, no. I'm bored, but not that bored. ;)

Yeah. I know. And Sam's last name was Clemons. Smart *ss.
C - lemons? Word.
BTW, should i be something else?

Oh, i was wondering whether i should shift my sigline a bit. I remember this lovely little ditty you gave me a while back .... ;)

Not all 55 pages of it, no. I'm bored, but not that bored. ;)
You need a spamsifter, methinks.
*looks accusingly at Ladamesansmerci and Fascist Dominion's commerce*

:fluffle:
Hey, not so close. I have a country to ruin ... ;)

Hey, not so close. I have a country to ruin ... ;)
*gets on knees*

Is this close enough baby?

*gets on knees*

Is this close enough baby?

*gets himself a box of popcorn and settles in to enjoy the show*

*gets on knees*

Is this close enough baby?
This is too close to Lewinski territory. I can hear some subtle republican murmurs on your breath. :eek:

*gets himself a box of popcorn and settles in to enjoy the show*
*gives Straughn mumps*

C - lemons? Word.
BTW, should i be something else?

Oh, i was wondering whether i should shift my sigline a bit. I remember this lovely little ditty you gave me a while back .... ;)

hokay so ah misplld that won two sew soo me

Which one would that be? You've quoted me on several occasions. Damn Alaskans. Shouldn't you be out clubbing baby seals or something? ;)

*gets himself a box of popcorn and settles in to enjoy the show*
Popcorn? What, are we all sharing the same tent here?

hokay so ah misplld that won two sew soo me

Which one would that be? You've quoted me on several occasions.
Look just above here.
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/happy/516.gif

This is too close to Lewinski territory. I can hear some subtle republican murmurs on your breath. :eek:
*wipes lips with finger*
*gets up*
*smacks you*
*leaves*

*gives Straughn mumps*
Nothing that yet another series of painful shots in the tuckus won't cure. Or at least, delay.


*finds the turn of this thread disturbing and yet curiously somewhat on topic*

Popcorn? What, are we all sharing the same tent here?
*looks at own nation*

Are we talking about me here?

*wipes lips with finger*
*gets up*
*smacks you*
*leaves*
I suspect you'll be getting two letters in the near future - one from Verdigroth, and one from the clinic.

Popcorn? What, are we all sharing the same tent here?

*grins evilly*

*wipes lips with finger*
*gets up*
*smacks you*
*leaves*

Like you can afford to talk, biotch. :D

I suspect you'll be getting two letters in the near future - one from Verdigroth, and one from the clinic.
For wha? I was eating a banana..

Like you can afford to talk, biotch. :D
*clears throat*

Excuse you?

*clears throat*

Excuse you?

Wasn't directed at you, Ruffy. I don't know you that well..... yet.

*grins evilly*



Like you can afford to talk, biotch. :D
Well this thread certainly is wrapping up nicely.

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11017265&postcount=847

Wasn't directed at you, Ruffy. I don't know you that well..... yet.
;)

Well, it's 4 a.m. here, and as much as I'd love to stay up, swapping gay innuendo and the like to the wee hours of the morning I'd like to conclude by quoting Michael McKean from the movie "Clue",

"I'm going to go home now, and sleep with my wife."

Sweet dreams, you two. :eek:

Well, it's 4 a.m. here, and as much as I'd love to stay up, swapping gay innuendo and the like to the wee hours of the morning I'd like to conclude by quoting Micahel McKean from the movie "Clue",

"I'm going to go home now, and sleep with my wife."

Sweet dreams, you two.
I'm off. Might be back.

*sigh* and I just logged on...

Well, it's 4 a.m. here, and as much as I'd love to stay up, swapping gay innuendo and the like to the wee hours of the morning I'd like to conclude by quoting Michael McKean from the movie "Clue",

"I'm going to go home now, and sleep with my wife."

Sweet dreams, you two. :eek:
Well, who am i to disagree? ;)

Nasdravlje.

*sigh* and I just logged on...
Evidence might suggest that they'll be back. ;)

So, got any medical anedotes this eve?

I'm off. Might be back.
"Love 'em and run", eh?
*humph*
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/mad/081.gif

So, got any medical anedotes this eve?

I broke a nail. Does that count?

"Love 'em and run", eh?
*humph*
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/mad/081.gif
http://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/blbl.gif

I broke a nail. Does that count?
In someone's back, or someone's face?
Dish, per favore .... ? :)

In someone's back, or someone's face?
Dish, per favore .... ? :)
Actually there was this one time when a friend of mine kept pestering me to show him a martial arts trick. So I ripped a big chunk of flesh out of his arm. He is scarred for life now...:(
*snickers*

Actually there was this one time when a friend of mine kept pestering me to show him a martial arts trick. So I ripped a big chunk of flesh out of his arm. He is scarred for life now...:(
*snickers*
What style, if i may ask?

What style, if i may ask?
I've not been learning long, just over a year now. I wasn't sure which to try so I decided to dabble around with different martial arts. I came to the conclusion that mixed-martial arts is best. But I don't have the money to learn as many as there are days in the week. :( My personale favorite is vale tudo, which I've been going to for four months now. I also enjoyed ninjitsu, which I went to twice a week for about eight months. But I've recently been fired so I only train once a week now. *sigh* I wish I had more money so I could pay people to beat me up more often...

I've not been learning long, just over a year now. I wasn't sure which to try so I decided to dabble around with different martial arts. I came to the conclusion that mixed-martial arts is best. But I don't have the money to learn as many as there are days in the week. :( My personale favorite is vale tudo, which I've been going to for four months now. I also enjoyed ninjitsu, which I went to twice a week for about eight months. But I've recently been fired so I only train once a week now. *sigh* I wish I had more money so I could pay people to beat me up more often...
Who teaches traditional ninjitsu?
And, if you don't mind me asking, what is the focus of vale tudo?

(M'self - 3 1/2 yrs Shotokan Gosoko-ryu
1 1/2 yrs Choi le Fut)

BTW, my IRL's a-barkin'.
My apologies for not staying on longer to respond.
Instead, i bequeath:

http://www.websmileys.com/sm/mad/boese093.gif

and

http://www.websmileys.com/sm/violent/sterb029.gif

;)

Who teaches traditional ninjitsu?
And, if you don't mind me asking, what is the focus of vale tudo?

(M'self - 3 1/2 yrs Shotokan Gosoko-ryu
1 1/2 yrs Choi le Fut)
Here is the website: They changed the name to bujinkan budo, we we still refer to it as ninjitsu.
http://homepage.ntlworld.com/tendoshingan/
Vale tudo started in Brazil, a mixture of several other fighting techniques. Its name means anything goes in portugease. That's all I know. In ninjitsu though, we learn loads about the history and stuff and well as hand-to-hand and weopons. In vale tudo we learn a lot about take-downs, ground fighting, and boxing. I like both of these because they are full-contact, and they are both completely different styles which is what I want. The reason I prefer vale tudo is that we do lots of sparring, twice a lesson. Being an eastern martial art, we tend to focus more on techniques in ninjitsu.
I've found a vale tudo website, as I don't reaaly know what I'm talking about.
http://tapout.association.users.btopenworld.com/ValeTudo.htm
PS. I've never heard of what you said you did. I guess they are a bit obsure. Do you still train now? Oh, you've gone...bye.

Well, i'm boring sometimes, so you brought me contentedment. :D

Also, this being an anecdote thread, and me personally not pulling any punches on the stories, i figured i should prompt you about it.
Bet I'm more boring. :p

Bet I'm more boring. :p
Then amaze us with your incredible skills of boringness...:rolleyes:

Well, that is a great part of it, yes - but some of the movement i'd anticipated didn't really occur. Honestly you're one of the very few on this thread consciously addressing the OP.
I think, this far along, that i'm gonna be able to leave this thread a (generally) ONE-trick pony (even though it's been a good, long trick ;) ) and as i'd mentioned, the sequel(s) would ring something a bit different.

As for ulterior motive - not much of one, other than knowing that some people have some pretty funny medical experiences that under other circumstances would be far, FAR too embarassing/humiliating to bring up in public. Gotta love teh internets!

EDIT: BTW, you know of course, that it's "Samuel", not "Mark" ;)
So no sequel then? But this thread was awesome. Never seen one better.

Then amaze us with your incredible skills of boringness...:rolleyes:
Done..................

Hey now, you could at least ask me about that first. :(
You never know if i have a smilie or not for it!
http://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/tod.gif

Also ... stop feeding Dame exactly what she wants. Shame on you.
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/mad/011.gif
You and your damned smilies. :p
Do I have to stop too? 'Cause we both know I won't.:D

What?
So ... Dame's insinuation of the lasciviousness of the posters here has to with the rest of Jolt?
EVERYBODY throws the mojo at Dame? :confused:

*thinks Mel Brooks ...*
*remembers "Roll, roll, roll in ze hay!"*
;)

Medical malpractice stories then. This is a true story, though I have heard of better, such as that Tampa, FL. hospital a couple of years back.that had a doctor who had mistakenly amputated the wrong (the healthy one) foot of a diabetic patient whose other foot was the one needing ampuation.

A local hospitals' (local to where I live anyway) operating room did one of their routine counts of all their apparatus following a successful surgery, as is standard practice. What was not standard practice, was that they had to reopen said patient after it was suspected that the doctor had sewn up one of the surgical sponges inside the patient during the original procedure, when they had come up one short. And after they had reopened the patient, it was discovered that was indeed what had happened. Both surgeries were successful, although someone on the Operating Room staff did make the mistake of telling the patient's family about this occurrence, whose eyes undoubtedly lit up with dollar signs as they ran in gleeful avarice all the way to their attorney. The head nurse in the Operating Room that day told me that one. Not that it is particularly horrifying in and of itself, but I did get that bit of news first hand. The hospital shall remain nameless, but there was another different infamous incident in the same hospital and if you Google the name Orville Lynn Majors you could probably figure it out.

Moral to the story: If you get sick, avoid hospitals. You could die there, and possibly not even from the illness that had brought you there.
I heard about those. Just more justification to stay away from doctors/hospitals.

You need a spamsifter, methinks.
*looks accusingly at Ladamesansmerci and Fascist Dominion's commerce*
*looks about innocently*
"Hey, look, everyone! A boot!"

*sigh* and I just logged on...
LOL At least you didn't have to log off just before it got creepy.;)

Actually there was this one time when a friend of mine kept pestering me to show him a martial arts trick. So I ripped a big chunk of flesh out of his arm. He is scarred for life now...:(
*snickers*
Literally. Good girl with the pun and all.

BTW, my IRL's a-barkin'.
My apologies for not staying on longer to respond.
Instead, i bequeath:

http://www.websmileys.com/sm/mad/boese093.gif

and

http://www.websmileys.com/sm/violent/sterb029.gif

;)
I'm stealing the saber duel.

Okay, so I realize that this may be a little late, seeing as there are now 57 pages. However, I only read until page 4, and I need to get to sleep (Ha, Insomia's a bitch, but I should at least try). Anyway so here it is:

Part 1: As a small child, playing tag was the life. Running away from other people, playing around the Big Toy, getting those little hide-a-body-underneath-it-all pebbles in one's shoe; and then, running to the slide of the Big Toy, because it was obviously base. However, I tripped, fell, and broke my top left front tooth on the slide, that was supposed to be the safe place. Yay for shit luck. While waiting for my dad to come pick me up, the principal and I looked for other half a tooth; however, it was not too be found. I went to the dentist, I sat in the chair, they came at me with this block from a four-by-four filled with nails and random metal objects, and I conciously decided that sleep was the best option. My last thought was trying to figure out how they would fit that damn block in my mouth. I woke up after it was all over, had a semi-permanent fake tooth over my half-tooth and went about my day. The very next fucking day, I found the other half of my tooth, it was on the fucking slide. So I threw it into the piles-o-pebbles and there it rests to this day.

Part 2: Now, having reached the ripe age of twenty, I recently had the semi-permanent tooth replaced with a permanent one. However, this requires that they take off the s-p one and put on a temporary one. Now the fun begins. The damn temp wouldn't stay in place. None of the glues worked. So the lady glueing it on decided to use stronger glue... the glue usually reserved for the permanent fake tooth; but, she didn't tell me that. Then I go in to the dentists office a couple weeks later. They try to pull the temp off. They can't figure out why it won't come off. So me with my semi-photographic memory (audio-graphic in this case I guess) conveniently name off the glue the lady used. The dentist, said that they were going to have to drill it off. And, justification was mine (people thought I was nuts or dreaming about the four-by-four thing), out comes a four-by-four block with a bunch of drill bits in it. I knew that thing existed. Anyway, I told my dentist about that story, he got a chuckle. Then proceeded to drill away at my temp. fake tooth. Now, keep in mind that underneath the temp is half a tooth with the nerve almost exposed. Add a drill and that means pain. But no novicane. So I get the little squishy stress ball things, one in each hand; I proceed to squeeze those things. And, because of the pain, which actually feels okay (Bill Murray), I start to hum a little. Then the drill gets extremely close to the half tooth and the nerve inside. My humming reaches the pitch of the drill whine. It startled me and hurt a bit more than I wanted. My dentist, who I truly enjoy talking to while getting routine dental work done, collapses over me laughing. The drill, oh yeah, that stayed in my mouth... still running. The assisstant, she too stopped everything to laugh. Meanwhile, I proceed to swallow my tongue and open my mouth to the point I am afraid of dislocating my lower jaw. 10-20 seconds before he can control himself and remove the drill from my mouth, I know, I watched the second hand on the clock. It made me really happy for that time that I swallowed sheet rock as a baby. That fucked up my gag reflexes (that and I didn't really chew my food properly for many years thanks to an underbite), so I was able to pretty much swallow my tongue without gagging myself onto that drill. Say what you want... really do... but there may come a day when you wished that you too had turned all the choking colors from swallowing sheet rock. Incidentally, sheet rock expands when it gets wet. I can now eat food and breathe at the same time, I might have to tell how I figured that out later.

Okay, so I realize that this may be a little late, seeing as there are now 57 pages. However, I only read until page 4, and I need to get to sleep (Ha, Insomia's a bitch, but I should at least try). Anyway so here it is:

Part 1: As a small child, playing tag was the life. Running away from other people, playing around the Big Toy, getting those little hide-a-body-underneath-it-all pebbles in one's shoe; and then, running to the slide of the Big Toy, because it was obviously base. However, I tripped, fell, and broke my top left front tooth on the slide, that was supposed to be the safe place. Yay for shit luck. While waiting for my dad to come pick me up, the principal and I looked for other half a tooth; however, it was not too be found. I went to the dentist, I sat in the chair, they came at me with this block from a four-by-four filled with nails and random metal objects, and I conciously decided that sleep was the best option. My last thought was trying to figure out how they would fit that damn block in my mouth. I woke up after it was all over, had a semi-permanent fake tooth over my half-tooth and went about my day. The very next fucking day, I found the other half of my tooth, it was on the fucking slide. So I threw it into the piles-o-pebbles and there it rests to this day.

Part 2: Now, having reached the ripe age of twenty, I recently had the semi-permanent tooth replaced with a permanent one. However, this requires that they take off the s-p one and put on a temporary one. Now the fun begins. The damn temp wouldn't stay in place. None of the glues worked. So the lady glueing it on decided to use stronger glue... the glue usually reserved for the permanent fake tooth; but, she didn't tell me that. Then I go in to the dentists office a couple weeks later. They try to pull the temp off. They can't figure out why it won't come off. So me with my semi-photographic memory (audio-graphic in this case I guess) conveniently name off the glue the lady used. The dentist, said that they were going to have to drill it off. And, justification was mine (people thought I was nuts or dreaming about the four-by-four thing), out comes a four-by-four block with a bunch of drill bits in it. I knew that thing existed. Anyway, I told my dentist about that story, he got a chuckle. Then proceeded to drill away at my temp. fake tooth. Now, keep in mind that underneath the temp is half a tooth with the nerve almost exposed. Add a drill and that means pain. But no novicane. So I get the little squishy stress ball things, one in each hand; I proceed to squeeze those things. And, because of the pain, which actually feels okay (Bill Murray), I start to hum a little. Then the drill gets extremely close to the half tooth and the nerve inside. My humming reaches the pitch of the drill whine. It startled me and hurt a bit more than I wanted. My dentist, who I truly enjoy talking to while getting routine dental work done, collapses over me laughing. The drill, oh yeah, that stayed in my mouth... still running. The assisstant, she too stopped everything to laugh. Meanwhile, I proceed to swallow my tongue and open my mouth to the point I am afraid of dislocating my lower jaw. 10-20 seconds before he can control himself and remove the drill from my mouth, I know, I watched the second hand on the clock. It made me really happy for that time that I swallowed sheet rock as a baby. That fucked up my gag reflexes (that and I didn't really chew my food properly for many years thanks to an underbite), so I was able to pretty much swallow my tongue without gagging myself onto that drill. Say what you want... really do... but there may come a day when you wished that you too had turned all the choking colors from swallowing sheet rock. Incidentally, sheet rock expands when it gets wet. I can now eat food and breathe at the same time, I might have to tell how I figured that out later.
Thanks for reviving a dead thread, my necromancer friend.:D

Thanks for reviving a dead thread, my necromancer friend.:D
Not a problem. Straughn kept telling me to check it out, I was sort of in the know before it got started but didn't get on to put up a comment. So now I have, and will continue to do so. You'd be surprised at how much I can talk. And as for funny little anecdotes, I got plenty, if only I can remember them all.

Not a problem. Straughn kept telling me to check it out, I was sort of in the know before it got started but didn't get on to put up a comment. So now I have, and will continue to do so. You'd be surprised at how much I can talk. And as for funny little anecdotes, I got plenty, if only I can remember them all.
Good, so we can blame Straughn, after all.:D So what's the next anecdote?

Incidentally, since falling asleep that first time, I always fall asleep when I go to the dentist. I am contemplating buying one of those chairs, they are so comfortable. Plus I could play torturer with that light and a few of their appliances... hmm, that definately goes on the shopping list. Now I just need sound proof walls and some kittens.

Incidentally, since falling asleep that first time, I always fall asleep when I go to the dentist. I am contemplating buying one of those chairs, they are so comfortable. Plus I could play torturer with that light and a few of their appliances... hmm, that definately goes on the shopping list. Now I just need sound proof walls and some kittens.
It'd be good for two types of torture. One involves the kittens, the other involves the kittens.;)

And, because of the pain, which actually feels okay (Bill Murray), I start to hum a little. Props. *bows*
Some day ... some DAY that play'll be in town ... and you know who i'll be? :D

Say what you want... really do... but there may come a day when you wished that you too had turned all the choking colors from swallowing sheet rock. Incidentally, sheet rock expands when it gets wet. I can now eat food and breathe at the same time, I might have to tell how I figured that out later.That certainly merits its own topic for an anecdote thread, but i'm afraid "strangest things and rationalizations for things you've eaten" might already have been covered here. I'll have to check.

:)

EDIT:
For example, a thread that might merit such info could be THIS one:

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=485773

;)

Props. *bows*
Some day ... some DAY that play'll be in town ... and you know who i'll be? :D

That certainly merits its own topic for an anecdote thread, but i'm afraid "strangest things and rationalizations for things you've eaten" might already have been covered here. I'll have to check.

:)

EDIT:
For example, a thread that might merit such info could be THIS one:

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=485773

;)
Yeah, but we've hijacked that thread. It still has decent posts coming in, but I don't remember ever seeing one that had anything to do with swallowing things....

Yeah, but we've hijacked that thread. It still has decent posts coming in, but I don't remember ever seeing one that had anything to do with swallowing things....
I have the *distinct* impression that the thread wouldn't last very long at all if it were specifically about swallowing things. :)

Speaking of which - i didn't see any threads about "best puppets", et cetera that i was propping earlier :(

No takers?

No matter.
If Cutty Sark is on tonight, i'll see about the new thread. Tonight or tomorrow.

I have the *distinct* impression that the thread wouldn't last very long at all if it were specifically about swallowing things. :)

Speaking of which - i didn't see any threads about "best puppets", et cetera that i was propping earlier :(

No takers?

No matter.
If Cutty Sark is on tonight, i'll see about the new thread. Tonight or tomorrow.
cutty sark is on, and (more or less) alive. kinda. but he is on!:)

wtf? This thread is alive again? Since when? :confused:

I have the *distinct* impression that the thread wouldn't last very long at all if it were specifically about swallowing things. :)

Speaking of which - i didn't see any threads about "best puppets", et cetera that i was propping earlier :(

No takers?

No matter.
If Cutty Sark is on tonight, i'll see about the new thread. Tonight or tomorrow.
No, prolly not. *shakes fist at mods*

Good, good. We need a new base of operations, and I don't think the other 7 threads I'm currently spamming will hold out a whole lot longer.

wtf? This thread is alive again? Since when? :confused:
Gotta blame Cobbleism for that. He's got a few harrowing anecdotes about dentists. :eek:
And building materials.

Taken from a book called "Young Men and Fire"

"...Nature, she is a bitch..."

you can't say it ain't true

wtf? This thread is alive again? Since when? :confused:
Since some random guy got here like a week late to post a REALLY long anecdote.:rolleyes:

No, prolly not. *shakes fist at mods*

Good, good. We need a new base of operations, and I don't think the other 7 threads I'm currently spamming will hold out a whole lot longer.
Don't you have other things to do? Like real life stuff?

No, prolly not. *shakes fist at mods*

Good, good. We need a new base of operations, and I don't think the other 7 threads I'm currently spamming will hold out a whole lot longer.
Hahaha.
We've got a few topics in mind, and due my weekend ventures, i'm opting for one inparticular - but i want to know what Cutty Sark has in mind.

Taken from a book called "Young Men and Fire"

"...Nature, she is a bitch..."

you can't say it ain't true
:confused: :confused: :confused:
:confused: :confused: :confused:
:confused: :confused: :confused:

Taken from a book called "Young Men and Fire"

"...Nature, she is a bitch..."

you can't say it ain't true
Erm...

I can say, i guess .... that "she" requires more than a typical self-absorbed understanding ...

Don't you have other things to do? Like real life stuff?
Nope. I'm done.:D

Don't you have other things to do? Like real life stuff?
http://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/irre.gif

Hahaha.
We've got a few topics in mind, and due my weekend ventures, i'm opting for one inparticular - but i want to know what Cutty Sark has in mind.
*looks at Sarkhaan*

http://www.studip.uni-goettingen.de/pictures/smile/irre.gif
*sigh*

now I envy you people. *cries*

*looks at Sarkhaan*
*looks back*

*looks back*
Hi.

Hi.
*continues looking*






*licks lips*


I mean...what?


pssst....sjs...tg me with your ideas.

*continues looking*






*licks lips*


I mean...what?


pssst....sjs...tg me with your ideas.
LOL

*continues looking*






*licks lips*


I mean...what?


pssst....sjs...tg me with your ideas.
Your profile says you don't take 'em! :(

I'll TG it anyway after i re-log on. I'm still catching up on two other threads. :)

*sigh*

now I envy you people. *cries*
Cool. I drew tears.
Blood's next. :)
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/evil/teu71.gif

Your profile says you don't take 'em! :(

I'll TG it anyway after i re-log on. I'm still catching up on two other threads. :)
hmm...how weird......I didn't change anything...

*shrug*

yeah, I've been horrible about keeping up with my threads...ADD has sunk in with a vengence. And a headache.

hmm...how weird......I didn't change anything...

*shrug*

yeah, I've been horrible about keeping up with my threads...ADD has sunk in with a vengence. And a headache.
I heard ya say something about looking for employment - i suspect that's a good source of tension/stress/absence from forum attendance.
I had a busy wknd m'self.

Cool. I drew tears.
Blood's next. :)
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/evil/teu71.gif
Oh the pain! I can't bare it anymore! Nobody understands me. I've been through so much that I MUST cut myself. Here's your blood, btw. :p

I heard ya say something about looking for employment - i suspect that's a good source of tension/stress/absence from forum attendance.
I had a busy wknd m'self.
haha...yep, that would be the headache. I have about a dozen places to call tomorrow, and none look promising. And sadly, my friend who has mafia ties won't help me. That bastard.

Oh the pain! I can't bare it anymore! Nobody understands me. I've been through so much that I MUST cut myself. Here's your blood, btw. :p
remember...up the street, not across the road!

Oh the pain! I can't bare it anymore! Nobody understands me. I've been through so much that I MUST cut myself. Here's your blood, btw. :p
Silly emo.:p

remember...up the street, not across the road!
Yep, and put it in warm water afterwards so the wound doesn't close up. I know my suicide. :p

Oh the pain! I can't bare it anymore! Nobody understands me. I've been through so much that I MUST cut myself. Here's your blood, btw. :p
*slurp*
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/crazy/132.gif

Ah - even MORE good came of this thread!
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11109384&postcount=911
*sated*

haha...yep, that would be the headache. I have about a dozen places to call tomorrow, and none look promising. And sadly, my friend who has mafia ties won't help me. That bastard.
Well, gotta watch the mafia thing. Some family's good, some not.

Well, gotta watch the mafia thing. Some family's good, some not.
haha...don't I know it.

nah, I keep clear of that part of his family as much as I can. scary people

haha...don't I know it.

nah, I keep clear of that part of his family as much as I can. scary people
Sad part is, a lot of it started with good intentions :(

Sad part is, a lot of it started with good intentions :(
ahh...that it did. The stories I've heard from them are amazing...put hollywood to shame to say the least. but what it is today, and what it is becoming, yeah. I want no part, nor does my friend. luckily.

ahh...that it did. The stories I've heard from them are amazing...put hollywood to shame to say the least. but what it is today, and what it is becoming, yeah. I want no part, nor does my friend. luckily.
Agreed. I'm two degrees of separation, m'self. No qualms so far on my part ... but then, i'm not in the "favour" business.
:eek:

So do you have enough time to run tonight, or should we start it on the morrow?

Agreed. I'm two degrees of separation, m'self. No qualms so far on my part ... but then, i'm not in the "favour" business.
:eek:

So do you have enough time to run tonight, or should we start it on the morrow?
I'm gonna say tomorrow...my head is killing me, so I have the feeling I'm gonna crash sometime soon-ish (I say that alot...I'll take bets on it actually happening;) )

In other news, I saw the omen. That was random, yes, but, iirc, you had mentioned it earlier?

I'm gonna say tomorrow...my head is killing me, so I have the feeling I'm gonna crash sometime soon-ish (I say that alot...I'll take bets on it actually happening;) )

In other news, I saw the omen. That was random, yes, but, iirc, you had mentioned it earlier?
I mentioned that it was 616 instead of 666 ... ;)

I mentioned that it was 616 instead of 666 ... ;)
haha...that might have been it.

I did yell "Those are 9's" when they found the birthmark.

shot for shot, it was the same movie as the original, with a 20 second reference to 9/11, the tsunami, and Columbia shuttle explosion.

not worth it if you know the original, pretty good otherwise. and Julia Stiles is pretty cute.

Thinking about it more, I am convinced that any thing could fall under medical anecdote as long as it somehow directly or indirectly involves one's body. Of course that's speciest of me so lets just say it involves an entities body that inhabits the same Kingdom as Homo Sapiens, because tree doctors are not real doctors (unless they have a PhD, then they are just doctors but not doctors). So here is another one, about drugs, residents, hospitals and Sesame Street (I know you're aquiver with antic pation, a medical reference):

In my freshman year of high school, for the month of February, I missed school due to an illness known as HS purpura (known to doctors and other word junkies as Henoch-Scholein purpura or anaphylactoid purpura, I'll give what a website said about it later). Basically, for the month of February I went to the instant clinic, because I only seemed to feel really bad when other doctors had the day off. When I finally got to my regular doctor, he did the mumbo-jumbo, then got a really large book, went ffffffffffflpflpflpflpflpflpflpflpflpflpf to the pages, found what he was looking for and proceeded to read of the symptoms. I missed the entire list by only two. I had had petechial hemorrhaging (rash the website calls it but it means that one hemorrhages in little pimply looking things that any amount of pressure causes them to burst and blood to pour forth, you can imagine what my bedsheets looked like), but the intacare people put me on a steroid that was too powerful, so it hurt to take, and they went to normal hemorrhaging (by this they meant mildly irritating under the skin hemorrhages). And, because of the fact that my intestines were dying on me, I couldn't eat, and various other horrible pain causing symptoms, I was unable to move. I once got stuck downstairs because I had needed water. So, I rolled my pain-wracked body out of my room (narrow doors are a bitch), down the stairs, into the kitchen, found a plastic container down low, reached up to the fridge and proceeded to fill it with water, drank that, got two more containers of water drank those (incidentally bleeding, whether internally or externally dehydrates a person), filled it up a fourth time, got a lid, and proceeded to roll back to the stairs. There I realized that it would remain impossible for me, at that time, to roll up a flight of stairs that consisted of three steps, a landing, eight steps, a landing, and two more steps. Since that day I have worked on my rolling technique so I might be able to do it now. Good thing I was wearing a long sleeved T-shirt, sweat pants, and socks for most of the illness, otherwise all the carpets would have been covered in blood after the first week (before the petechial went away). Back to the narrative. I then proceeded to attempt to stand. I got to a rolled-forward position with my legs under me, holding onto the railing with one hand. However, that was as far as I could make it. Since this was week three with basically nothing to eat. So, I kept trying to get up. My brother, who happened to be downstairs asleep woke up to me moaning in pain. He helped me up the stairs and to my room. Now after seeing my normal family doctor I went to the hospital (yes I know the story is out of order, but I don't think in consequential steps dependant upon time, a bloody ficticious invention). There I was admitted, and introduced to the wonders of Demoral. Painkillers, YAY. I inhabited the hospital for one week, got to use a wheelchair (life goal... accomplished), made the nursing staff my friends (on a semi-liquid diet, ask if they have Snickers flavored sherbert; most likely they won't but they will think it cute... or the asker pathetic and deserving of sympathy). However, due to the fact that HS purpura can agitate one's appendix they would not let me use a heating pad. Even though for the previous three weeks I had been using that to relieve the pain of dying intestines. One day, a tuesday we'll say, three residents came in. They had a doctor with them. He said, you will probably not see this again, so I want you to look at this patient. He has HS purpura, for which there is no known cause, although it seems to occur about 50% of the time after strep throat (which I had for three days after a choir concert, but was too busy to take care of). The residents then proceeded to ask me questions, about pain, being sick and bullshit like that. I mostly remember what they did next. One pushed his right index and middle finger into my gut (at the doctors directions), he asked "Does this hurt?" I replied, "No, but if you pull your hand away really fast it will, just like every other time the doctors have done it." He then jerked his hand away. I cried out in pain, said "what the hell?" But, oh no, there were still two more sadistic little pricks who couldn't learn by my reaction to the other little pricks prodding; they too had to do the pokey thing. In righteous amounts of pain I then proceeded to say swear words in two languages. They left after saying something to the effect of "well, I guess we've learned what we can." My mom, who stayed with me the entire time, then called the nurse. The nurse agreed with me that residents were fuckers. My mom allowed him to give me my first full dose of Demoral. I love I.V.'s. A few seconds later, I was smacking my legs cause the pain just didn't bother me. I turned on the T.V. Sesame street was on. I watched it in a bit of a stupor. Just before I went to sleep the introduced the color of the day: purple. The last thought I had before drifting off to the land of slumber and relief, was "That makes sense." After waking up, I thought a bit... why did that make sense. The color of the day being purple didn't make sense. However, I came to a realization that for some reason that I don't know remains true in my thoughts to this day. The color purple, the color itself, makes sense to me. It seems to be perfectly rational and logical. There, I have given you an anecdote of drugs, residents, hospitals and Sesame Street. My next anecdote will probably be about choking, since it seems to happen a lot, and I learned to give myself the Heimlich Manuevor by the ripe age of seven.

Here is the link for the website (I am happy to say I didn't ever have the angiodema symptom. And the arthritis only occured after I was pronounced well. The only two symptoms I didn't have and I got the arthritis afterwards, it still affects me to this day. FUCK, is all I have to say):http://www.drhull.com/EncyMaster/H/HSP.html

Thinking about it more, I am convinced that any thing could fall under medical anecdote as long as it somehow directly or indirectly involves one's body. Of course that's speciest of me so lets just say it involves an entities body that inhabits the same Kingdom as Homo Sapiens, because tree doctors are not real doctors (unless they have a PhD, then they are just doctors but not doctors). So here is another one, about drugs, residents, hospitals and Sesame Street (I know you're aquiver with antic pation, a medical reference):

In my freshman year of high school, for the month of February, I missed school due to an illness known as HS purpura (known to doctors and other word junkies as Henoch-Scholein purpura or anaphylactoid purpura, I'll give what a website said about it later). Basically, for the month of February I went to the instant clinic, because I only seemed to feel really bad when other doctors had the day off. When I finally got to my regular doctor, he did the mumbo-jumbo, then got a really large book, went ffffffffffflpflpflpflpflpflpflpflpflpflpf to the pages, found what he was looking for and proceeded to read of the symptoms. I missed the entire list by only two. I had had petechial hemorrhaging (rash the website calls it but it means that one hemorrhages in little pimply looking things that any amount of pressure causes them to burst and blood to pour forth, you can imagine what my bedsheets looked like), but the intacare people put me on a steroid that was too powerful, so it hurt to take, and they went to normal hemorrhaging (by this they meant mildly irritating under the skin hemorrhages). And, because of the fact that my intestines were dying on me, I couldn't eat, and various other horrible pain causing symptoms, I was unable to move. I once got stuck downstairs because I had needed water. So, I rolled my pain-wracked body out of my room (narrow doors are a bitch), down the stairs, into the kitchen, found a plastic container down low, reached up to the fridge and proceeded to fill it with water, drank that, got two more containers of water drank those (incidentally bleeding, whether internally or externally dehydrates a person), filled it up a fourth time, got a lid, and proceeded to roll back to the stairs. There I realized that it would remain impossible for me, at that time, to roll up a flight of stairs that consisted of three steps, a landing, eight steps, a landing, and two more steps. Since that day I have worked on my rolling technique so I might be able to do it now. Good thing I was wearing a long sleeved T-shirt, sweat pants, and socks for most of the illness, otherwise all the carpets would have been covered in blood after the first week (before the petechial went away). Back to the narrative. I then proceeded to attempt to stand. I got to a rolled-forward position with my legs under me, holding onto the railing with one hand. However, that was as far as I could make it. Since this was week three with basically nothing to eat. So, I kept trying to get up. My brother, who happened to be downstairs asleep woke up to me moaning in pain. He helped me up the stairs and to my room. Now after seeing my normal family doctor I went to the hospital (yes I know the story is out of order, but I don't think in consequential steps dependant upon time, a bloody ficticious invention). There I was admitted, and introduced to the wonders of Demoral. Painkillers, YAY. I inhabited the hospital for one week, got to use a wheelchair (life goal... accomplished), made the nursing staff my friends (on a semi-liquid diet, ask if they have Snickers flavored sherbert; most likely they won't but they will think it cute... or the asker pathetic and deserving of sympathy). However, due to the fact that HS purpura can agitate one's appendix they would not let me use a heating pad. Even though for the previous three weeks I had been using that to relieve the pain of dying intestines. One day, a tuesday we'll say, three residents came in. They had a doctor with them. He said, you will probably not see this again, so I want you to look at this patient. He has HS purpura, for which there is no known cause, although it seems to occur about 50% of the time after strep throat (which I had for three days after a choir concert, but was too busy to take care of). The residents then proceeded to ask me questions, about pain, being sick and bullshit like that. I mostly remember what they did next. One pushed his right index and middle finger into my gut (at the doctors directions), he asked "Does this hurt?" I replied, "No, but if you pull your hand away really fast it will, just like every other time the doctors have done it." He then jerked his hand away. I cried out in pain, said "what the hell?" But, oh no, there were still two more sadistic little pricks who couldn't learn by my reaction to the other little pricks prodding; they too had to do the pokey thing. In righteous amounts of pain I then proceeded to say swear words in two languages. They left after saying something to the effect of "well, I guess we've learned what we can." My mom, who stayed with me the entire time, then called the nurse. The nurse agreed with me that residents were fuckers. My mom allowed him to give me my first full dose of Demoral. I love I.V.'s. A few seconds later, I was smacking my legs cause the pain just didn't bother me. I turned on the T.V. Sesame street was on. I watched it in a bit of a stupor. Just before I went to sleep the introduced the color of the day: purple. The last thought I had before drifting off to the land of slumber and relief, was "That makes sense." After waking up, I thought a bit... why did that make sense. The color of the day being purple didn't make sense. However, I came to a realization that for some reason that I don't know remains true in my thoughts to this day. The color purple, the color itself, makes sense to me. It seems to be perfectly rational and logical. There, I have given you an anecdote of drugs, residents, hospitals and Sesame Street. My next anecdote will probably be about choking, since it seems to happen a lot, and I learned to give myself the Heimlich Manuevor by the ripe age of seven.

Here is the link for the website (I am happy to say I didn't ever have the angiodema symptom. And the arthritis only occured after I was pronounced well. The only two symptoms I didn't have and I got the arthritis afterwards, it still affects me to this day. FUCK, is all I have to say):http://www.drhull.com/EncyMaster/H/HSP.html

Gee, and here I thought I had problems.

Thinking about it more, I am convinced that any thing could fall under medical anecdote as long as it somehow directly or indirectly involves one's body. Of course that's speciest of me so lets just say it involves an entities body that inhabits the same Kingdom as Homo Sapiens, because tree doctors are not real doctors (unless they have a PhD, then they are just doctors but not doctors). So here is another one, about drugs, residents, hospitals and Sesame Street (I know you're aquiver with antic pation, a medical reference):

In my freshman year of high school, for the month of February, I missed school due to an illness known as HS purpura (known to doctors and other word junkies as Henoch-Scholein purpura or anaphylactoid purpura, I'll give what a website said about it later). Basically, for the month of February I went to the instant clinic, because I only seemed to feel really bad when other doctors had the day off. When I finally got to my regular doctor, he did the mumbo-jumbo, then got a really large book, went ffffffffffflpflpflpflpflpflpflpflpflpflpf to the pages, found what he was looking for and proceeded to read of the symptoms. I missed the entire list by only two. I had had petechial hemorrhaging (rash the website calls it but it means that one hemorrhages in little pimply looking things that any amount of pressure causes them to burst and blood to pour forth, you can imagine what my bedsheets looked like), but the intacare people put me on a steroid that was too powerful, so it hurt to take, and they went to normal hemorrhaging (by this they meant mildly irritating under the skin hemorrhages). And, because of the fact that my intestines were dying on me, I couldn't eat, and various other horrible pain causing symptoms, I was unable to move. I once got stuck downstairs because I had needed water. So, I rolled my pain-wracked body out of my room (narrow doors are a bitch), down the stairs, into the kitchen, found a plastic container down low, reached up to the fridge and proceeded to fill it with water, drank that, got two more containers of water drank those (incidentally bleeding, whether internally or externally dehydrates a person), filled it up a fourth time, got a lid, and proceeded to roll back to the stairs. There I realized that it would remain impossible for me, at that time, to roll up a flight of stairs that consisted of three steps, a landing, eight steps, a landing, and two more steps. Since that day I have worked on my rolling technique so I might be able to do it now. Good thing I was wearing a long sleeved T-shirt, sweat pants, and socks for most of the illness, otherwise all the carpets would have been covered in blood after the first week (before the petechial went away). Back to the narrative. I then proceeded to attempt to stand. I got to a rolled-forward position with my legs under me, holding onto the railing with one hand. However, that was as far as I could make it. Since this was week three with basically nothing to eat. So, I kept trying to get up. My brother, who happened to be downstairs asleep woke up to me moaning in pain. He helped me up the stairs and to my room. Now after seeing my normal family doctor I went to the hospital (yes I know the story is out of order, but I don't think in consequential steps dependant upon time, a bloody ficticious invention). There I was admitted, and introduced to the wonders of Demoral. Painkillers, YAY. I inhabited the hospital for one week, got to use a wheelchair (life goal... accomplished), made the nursing staff my friends (on a semi-liquid diet, ask if they have Snickers flavored sherbert; most likely they won't but they will think it cute... or the asker pathetic and deserving of sympathy). However, due to the fact that HS purpura can agitate one's appendix they would not let me use a heating pad. Even though for the previous three weeks I had been using that to relieve the pain of dying intestines. One day, a tuesday we'll say, three residents came in. They had a doctor with them. He said, you will probably not see this again, so I want you to look at this patient. He has HS purpura, for which there is no known cause, although it seems to occur about 50% of the time after strep throat (which I had for three days after a choir concert, but was too busy to take care of). The residents then proceeded to ask me questions, about pain, being sick and bullshit like that. I mostly remember what they did next. One pushed his right index and middle finger into my gut (at the doctors directions), he asked "Does this hurt?" I replied, "No, but if you pull your hand away really fast it will, just like every other time the doctors have done it." He then jerked his hand away. I cried out in pain, said "what the hell?" But, oh no, there were still two more sadistic little pricks who couldn't learn by my reaction to the other little pricks prodding; they too had to do the pokey thing. In righteous amounts of pain I then proceeded to say swear words in two languages. They left after saying something to the effect of "well, I guess we've learned what we can." My mom, who stayed with me the entire time, then called the nurse. The nurse agreed with me that residents were fuckers. My mom allowed him to give me my first full dose of Demoral. I love I.V.'s. A few seconds later, I was smacking my legs cause the pain just didn't bother me. I turned on the T.V. Sesame street was on. I watched it in a bit of a stupor. Just before I went to sleep the introduced the color of the day: purple. The last thought I had before drifting off to the land of slumber and relief, was "That makes sense." After waking up, I thought a bit... why did that make sense. The color of the day being purple didn't make sense. However, I came to a realization that for some reason that I don't know remains true in my thoughts to this day. The color purple, the color itself, makes sense to me. It seems to be perfectly rational and logical. There, I have given you an anecdote of drugs, residents, hospitals and Sesame Street. My next anecdote will probably be about choking, since it seems to happen a lot, and I learned to give myself the Heimlich Manuevor by the ripe age of seven.

Here is the link for the website (I am happy to say I didn't ever have the angiodema symptom. And the arthritis only occured after I was pronounced well. The only two symptoms I didn't have and I got the arthritis afterwards, it still affects me to this day. FUCK, is all I have to say):http://www.drhull.com/EncyMaster/H/HSP.html
Woohoo! Cobbler's in da haus!
BRB (practicing)

haha...I'm 20 and I give up all the details. What does that mean the future holds for me?
oh, my poor, poor children.
Hmm we are in the same predicatment. However, I figure if I give my children enough armor they might just survive when someone takes a shot at them.

haha...that might have been it.

I did yell "Those are 9's" when they found the birthmark.

shot for shot, it was the same movie as the original, with a 20 second reference to 9/11, the tsunami, and Columbia shuttle explosion.

not worth it if you know the original, pretty good otherwise. and Julia Stiles is pretty cute.
Of the two in "10 Things", i'd have to pick the other one. She smiles more.
Besides, Stiles reminds me of my sister :eek:

I'm more than willing to test another boundry, as always.

so my dads current group used to run its MRI's through an independent company, as they couldn't get approval to build an MRI area on their property due to some abstract zoning law. So this company is doing routine maintenance with one of the machines, and somehow, it gets turned on. This part is the graphic part, so, for those who are very squeemish, I'll put it in white (note: it isn't horrible, but some people, I've found, have very low tolerance) So the machine turns on, with a repairman in the room. For those who don't know, MRI's use a very strong magnetic field to do its work. So the machine turns on, and pulls a wrench fully through the repairman, killing him quite bloodily and painfully.
Thank you for pushing that boundary. I wouldn't mind seeing that. I would suggest a face mask and some extra clothes if one plans to be in the room.

Thank you for pushing that boundary. I wouldn't mind seeing that. I would suggest a face mask and some extra clothes if one plans to be in the room.
Don't tell me you intend to read through all those pages of spam!:eek:

I just remembered a story from my youth. I don't remember it well, but my parents like to retell it.

As I said before, my parents both worked in hospitals, and so I was often around them. Many hospitals use coding for a patient death or assorted urgecies, so as not to alarm patients/visitors, but alert the proper people. Being around so much, I always wondered why they were calling for "Nurse Blue" or what have you, and so asked my parents. Not being ones to lie to me, they told me the truth...that one meant someone had died (iirc). There were tons of them, and over time I memorized them. So once I had them down pretty well, I would hear an one of them come on, and then would proceed to run off screaming what was going on, and then fall down laughing at the shocked/terrified looks of patients as I ran by yelling "THE GUY IN 354 JUST DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIED!":D
again, I'm precious.
I idolize children for just those kind of actions. It seems the only time people can really get away with that kind of sh*t is as kids or senial. Since I am 20, I have a long way to go before being able to do it again.

Don't tell me you intend to read through all those pages of spam!:eek:
Yes, yes I do. And guess what, you will all have to just deal with me doing these little quotes. Besides, if I didn't I would have missed Nurse Blue. Sometimes I want brain cancer so I can claim it caused me to do things (people let that sh*t slide for cancer patients), the whole "devil made me do it" just doesn't work anymore.

Yes, yes I do. And guess what, you will all have to just deal with me doing these little quotes. Besides, if I didn't I would have missed Nurse Blue. Sometimes I want brain cancer so I can claim it caused me to do things (people let that sh*t slide for cancer patients), the whole "devil made me do it" just doesn't work anymore.
Okay. I've done that, just not for so many pages. Jesus Christ, man, you're insane!

Oh, and these days we're going with "Demented Hamsters made me get wasted" if you ever need an excuse for your boss.

this happened to a friend of mine. she went to apply for a job at a local hospital. they needed a blood test. first they drew the blood, but the needle missed the vein so they had to try again.

then she needed to have a TB test done. so they injected her with the testing solution... which promptly drained out (too close under the surface of the skin. so they tried again...

then she got a call... they misplaced her blood sample and she needs to give another one.

then a family emergency came up and she missed her TB reading date... so she had to do it again... the intern messed up again and she was stuck (with a needle) again.

meanwhile, for those past couple of days, I'm just making a mental note not to be sent to that Hospital... :D

[QUOTE=Sarkhaan]haha...we do what we can.

hmm...a job story. I have lots of those...

I worked as a lifeguard for a few summer[QUOTE]

Ahh, I remember working as a lifeguard. Swim practice was the best. Sometimes I fell asleep, that didn't make me feel good, but the kids loved the responsibility I was placing upon them. I taught a ten year old kid to play that circle-below-the-waist-you-looked-I-hit-you-Ha-Ha game. The first time I punched him he stumbled back a couple feet. I convinced him to continue playing if I only hit him in that Kill Bill Vol. 2 method. Then I felt bad that he couldn't hit properly, so I showed him how. Now he hits pretty well. I also explained to him what a whore was, because he and another kid were talking about Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame. I lost control, exclaimed "Quasimoto was a psycho stalker, and Esmerelda was a Gypsy WHORE!!" He asked why someone would do that. I said because she needed the money and couldn't make it another way, or at least thought she couldn't. He said, "No, why would someone pay for that." I laughed and said "When you get older you will learn that some things feel really good. Some people have trouble getting any, so they have to buy it to feel good. But, as long as you stick with swimming and don't become and asshole you probably won't have that problem." I love my policy of never lying to kids... their parents don't I'm sure. Also at lap and open swim I was able to bring in my music. As long as it didn't have swearing it was okay. I introduced kids to Ozzy and Bowie. And many of the adults at lap swim were impressed with my audio treats. I also got out of really working by doing that Aboriginal whistle thing. Some kids spent 30 minutes trying to do it (hint: we hands hinder the process). The only kid I ever had to use first aid on was a diver, he wiped out on the board.
Short Anecdote: A little girl sad "I'm blond, and I'm a girl. I can be stupid if I want to." I started twitching and replied, "Leave me now or I will jump on your face. I know I can clear the deck from this chair. Now move." She left me alone. Sometimes that twitch has saved my life. By the way, the circle game previously mentioned is extremely easy when played from a lifeguard chair. Oh, and those sand filled dive rings made of rubber are excellent motivators for getting kids dressed and out for practice. Only once did I ever have to make good on the threat. After that if I said I was going to do something they all realized I was really going to do it. They generally did what I said. It was for their own good so I don't see anything really wrong with it. Justification, I love being morally ambiguous.

And just so I know, since it's 12.12pm I am going to bed. I stopped reading at the beginning of pg. 31. Yay for OCD

Ya know, i'm on the same hours here ... ;)

[QUOTE=Sarkhaan]haha...we do what we can.

hmm...a job story. I have lots of those...

I worked as a lifeguard for a few summer[QUOTE]

Ahh, I remember working as a lifeguard. Swim practice was the best. Sometimes I fell asleep, that didn't make me feel good, but the kids loved the responsibility I was placing upon them. I taught a ten year old kid to play that circle-below-the-waist-you-looked-I-hit-you-Ha-Ha game. The first time I punched him he stumbled back a couple feet. I convinced him to continue playing if I only hit him in that Kill Bill Vol. 2 method. Then I felt bad that he couldn't hit properly, so I showed him how. Now he hits pretty well. I also explained to him what a whore was, because he and another kid were talking about Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame. I lost control, exclaimed "Quasimoto was a psycho stalker, and Esmerelda was a Gypsy WHORE!!" He asked why someone would do that. I said because she needed the money and couldn't make it another way, or at least thought she couldn't. He said, "No, why would someone pay for that." I laughed and said "When you get older you will learn that some things feel really good. Some people have trouble getting any, so they have to buy it to feel good. But, as long as you stick with swimming and don't become and asshole you probably won't have that problem." I love my policy of never lying to kids... their parents don't I'm sure. Also at lap and open swim I was able to bring in my music. As long as it didn't have swearing it was okay. I introduced kids to Ozzy and Bowie. And many of the adults at lap swim were impressed with my audio treats. I also got out of really working by doing that Aboriginal whistle thing. Some kids spent 30 minutes trying to do it (hint: we hands hinder the process). The only kid I ever had to use first aid on was a diver, he wiped out on the board.
Short Anecdote: A little girl sad "I'm blond, and I'm a girl. I can be stupid if I want to." I started twitching and replied, "Leave me now or I will jump on your face. I know I can clear the deck from this chair. Now move." She left me alone. Sometimes that twitch has saved my life. By the way, the circle game previously mentioned is extremely easy when played from a lifeguard chair. Oh, and those sand filled dive rings made of rubber are excellent motivators for getting kids dressed and out for practice. Only once did I ever have to make good on the threat. After that if I said I was going to do something they all realized I was really going to do it. They generally did what I said. It was for their own good so I don't see anything really wrong with it. Justification, I love being morally ambiguous.

And just so I know, since it's 12.12pm I am going to bed. I stopped reading at the beginning of pg. 31. Yay for OCD
LOL Yeah, it's one of the most useful disorders.
*reads more spam from "Size Does Matter?"*

Okay. I've done that, just not for so many pages. Jesus Christ, man, you're insane!

Yes, I suppose I am. But noone qualified has ever said that so technically I am still okay. I just finished reading all the pages. My weren't you guys busy. I tried to count how many anecdotes existed but was distracted by all the other stuff.

Oh, and these days we're going with "Demented Hamsters made me get wasted" if you ever need an excuse for your boss.
Actually, none of my bosses seem to care. One boss said, "As long as you get your work done the board doesn't care if you take time off." F*cking sweet. The other boss just needs me to find an equally qualified person to cover my shift. All my coworkers are pretty cool so I don't usually have trouble doing that. But all of that doesn't really matter, since I don't use any excuses. I have told both my bosses "I got wasted last night, so I might not be 100% just yet." My first job is working for a youth court, imagine the directors dismay that a 20yr old would be so brazen... except she constantly tells me ways around the law. Yay for hippies. Yay for Alaska.

Okay, so I don't remember this but this is how my parents tell it.
Sheetrock incident: My brother and dad were renovating a wall (tearing it down) to connect the old house to the addition. I was in one of those children jails called a play pen. Me, being the amazing genius baby that I was, somehow pulled a Houdini and escaped. Either I learned to climb (but couldn't walk yet) or I squeezed through a hole in the netting that was too small to fit my head through. We are not sure which. It was well known in my house at the time that nothing small could be left on the floor. Otherwise I would eat it. Hence, I had been nicknamed Hoover. I was known for crawling across a large room to eat something off the floor, faster than a person could bend down to pick it up. Even if they knew I would come after it and tried to hurry. Anyway, after escaping I became interested in the sheetrock that kept hitting the floor. So I scurried my baby butt over and grabbed a piece bigger than my fist. My brother looked down to see me stick it in my mouth. Apparently I knew they would try to get it out, so I swallowed it quickly. It then got lodged in my throat due to its swelling from the moisture contained therein. Apparently, the Heimlich manuever didn't work until my dad applied the amount of pressure necessary for an adult, not a small child. The colors I turned were, white, red, purple and finally blue. I know blue was the last, I am not sure of the order on the others. In an ode to that instant of my life, a person once found me the rock from which they make sheet rock. I couldn't help myself. At 18 yrs of age, I licked the damn thing. It didn't bring back any memories like I was hoping, but it did taste horrible. Like I said earlier, I learned to give myself the Heimlich by the age of 7 (or did I say 8). However, that was only for the really bad choking. Most things I was able to just reach into my throat and pull out. Recently I have learned how do this semi-inconspicuously. I still get food lodged in my throat on a fairly regular basis (about once every two months) when I get in a hurry. However, now, I have learned to not panic and just breathe around it. Panic is the reason most people choke in the first place. They panic and constrict their airway. Now it's just old hat so I don't. I think, as a child, I went an entire month in which I had to recieve the Heimlich from myself or someone else every dinner. For the most part, I believe it should be blamed on my underbite, I couldn't properly chew food. It would sometimes escape my mouth.

Yes, I suppose I am. But noone qualified has ever said that so technically I am still okay. I just finished reading all the pages. My weren't you guys busy. I tried to count how many anecdotes existed but was distracted by all the other stuff.


Actually, none of my bosses seem to care. One boss said, "As long as you get your work done the board doesn't care if you take time off." F*cking sweet. The other boss just needs me to find an equally qualified person to cover my shift. All my coworkers are pretty cool so I don't usually have trouble doing that. But all of that doesn't really matter, since I don't use any excuses. I have told both my bosses "I got wasted last night, so I might not be 100% just yet." My first job is working for a youth court, imagine the directors dismay that a 20yr old would be so brazen... except she constantly tells me ways around the law. Yay for hippies. Yay for Alaska.
Yes, we were busy. I'm not surprised you got distracted. We did, too.:p And we specialize in this stuff.:D Your bosses are awesome. Yeah, hippies are excellent sources of legal evasion tactics. Alaska is so awesome...ly far away from civilization.;)

I tried to count how many anecdotes existed but was distracted by all the other stuff.
The epitaph of this thread. *nods solemnly*


Yay for hippies. Yay for Alaska.Worth a reprint. :D

In an ode to that instant of my life, a person once found me the rock from which they make sheet rock. I couldn't help myself. At 18 yrs of age, I licked the damn thing. It didn't bring back any memories like I was hoping, but it did taste horrible.
That is SO kept. :D

That is SO kept. :D
Yeah, I stole it, too.

First of all, I am TERRIFIED of the dentist. Terrified. I have given birth to two ten pound babies and I;d rather do that again than get a tooth filled or pulled. So when I go to the dentist, they know ahead of time that they have to "baby" me a bit. They prescribe Valium and instruct me to take one an hour before my appointment, and two more 30 minutes later. I have to wear headphones with loud classical music playing if any drilling is going to be done, and still , I have walked out right before simple cleaning procedures due to panic.

So when we were moving into a house several years ago, I was going through the rooms checking to see if any of the lightbulbs needed to be replaced. I went into the master bedroom and pulled the chain to the light on the ceiling fan and apparently, the previous tenant had not screwed the globe in very well. It fell and hit me square in the mouth and broke half of one on my front teeth OFF. I touched my tooth ...what was left of it..... and them proceeded to curse violently:mad: . My husband came running in and said "what on earth is going on?" I wouldnt even open my mouth in front of him. I looked like an extra from Deliverance.

So of course, I can't go walking around like that. Right there in the middle of moving day, I had to go to the dentist.*shudder*
I get there and he takes a look and says "Oh we can fix this right up.......I'll just need to file off the rough edges and then..."
Did you say FILE? :eek: With what? An old rusty 12 inch file from some old toolbox entered my mind. Of course it was just a different drill head with SANDPAPER on the end of it and he only meant to FILE my teeth down.

I turned white and got sick. This wasnt my regular dentist. I had to take what I could get on such short notice. So I explain my fears and I just dont think he *got it*

So He gives me that stupid useless Nitrous gas and I wait. I wait for the Novocain shots to come. He said I’d only need 3 or 4. (3 or 4 my ass….is this a dentist’s office or Pete’s House of Pain? Is this guy qualified?:confused: What if he screws up? What if has like a stroke or something while he’s SANDING my tooth? I could be scarred for life! A freak! I could….)
Well, he comes back and tells me he spoke with my regular dentist via phone. “I’ve decided to give you a mild intravenous sedative for the procedure. You will be “awake” but you wont be ‘aware” that anything is going on.” Hell, that’s what I’m talking about. I’m thinking everything is going to be ok. Just breathe Kel. Just let the nice man put you to sleep. You won’t feel anything. You’ll be unpacking boxes and rearranging furniture in no time.
Yeah, right.

Now the rest is a blur. And I tell it from partial memory and partial recanted stories about it. Oh and the police report helped clear things up a bit. Apparently the drug he shot me up with wasn’t quite as mild as he’d let on. I felt relaxed and loose and my hearing went fuzzy. Like I had earmuffS on or something. Then I just laid back and skipped off to La La land. That is until I heard a nurse speaking to that Dentist. They were talking about something…..cutting something. Yes. Cutting. I paid special attention to the conversation…..rude to eavesdrop I know, but heck….I had nothing better to do. I heard him tell her “she’s out. She has no idea what’s going on. We’ll just cut the rest of the tooth out and put an implant in. She’ll never know.”

I was frozen in fear. They were plotting to cut my tooth out…..behind my back! Without my permission! I got up from the chair and stumbled around. The sound of metal instruments clanging about and falling to the floor must have brought some attention to my attempted escape. They rushed in and tried to help me back to my chair….but oh no, I wasn’t going quietly. I wrestled myself free and “ran”(I’m told later that it looked like I was running underwater….slow mo) out of the room and kept running into things. And people. I knocked an elderly lady down….her dentures fell out of her mouth. I knocked over several wire baskets of papers from the receptionist desk, 2 potted plants and an 8 year old boy. People in the waiting room were standing up to see what all the commotion was about. I had made it to the lobby…..paper bib still attached….15 inches of drool hanging mid air from my mouth. And I was yelling “ the British are coming!!! The British are coming!! And they aren’t getting my teeth!!!”

I made it out the office door and ran smack dab into a van that was parked in front of the door. I hit it hard and bounced off of it, landing in the prickly holly bushes that were so nicely planted outside. I hit my head on the brick wall and I suppose that finished me off.
When I woke, I was lying on a stretcher and a paramedic was taking my blood pressure. She explained to me that I’d had a bad reaction to some medication and they were taking me to the hospital to make sure I was alright. The police were there too. Standard procedure I guess when a patient looses it and runs wildly through the office, assaulting everyone in her path. Oh and I was still missing half on my tooth….still looking like a reject from the Beverly Hillbillies.

I got my tooth fixed the next day. They used General Anesthesia.:)

So He gives me that stupid useless Nitrous gas and I wait. I wait for the Novocain shots to come. He said I’d only need 3 or 4. (3 or 4 my ass….is this a dentist’s office or Pete’s House of Pain? Is this guy qualified?:confused: What if he screws up? What if has like a stroke or something while he’s SANDING my tooth? I could be scarred for life! A freak! I could….)
Well, he comes back and tells me he spoke with my regular dentist via phone. “I’ve decided to give you a mild intravenous sedative for the procedure. You will be “awake” but you wont be ‘aware” that anything is going on.” Hell, that’s what I’m talking about. I’m thinking everything is going to be ok. Just breathe Kel. Just let the nice man put you to sleep. You won’t feel anything. You’ll be unpacking boxes and rearranging furniture in no time.
Yeah, right.

Now the rest is a blur. And I tell it from partial memory and partial recanted stories about it. Oh and the police report helped clear things up a bit. Apparently the drug he shot me up with wasn’t quite as mild as he’d let on. I felt relaxed and loose and my hearing went fuzzy. Like I had earmuffS on or something. Then I just laid back and skipped off to La La land. That is until I heard a nurse speaking to that Dentist. They were talking about something…..cutting something. Yes. Cutting. I paid special attention to the conversation…..rude to eavesdrop I know, but heck….I had nothing better to do. I heard him tell her “she’s out. She has no idea what’s going on. We’ll just cut the rest of the tooth out and put an implant in. She’ll never know.”

I was frozen in fear. They were plotting to cut my tooth out…..behind my back! Without my permission! I got up from the chair and stumbled around. The sound of metal instruments clanging about and falling to the floor must have brought some attention to my attempted escape. They rushed in and tried to help me back to my chair….but oh no, I wasn’t going quietly. I wrestled myself free and “ran”(I’m told later that it looked like I was running underwater….slow mo) out of the room and kept running into things. And people. I knocked an elderly lady down….her dentures fell out of her mouth. I knocked over several wire baskets of papers from the receptionist desk, 2 potted plants and an 8 year old boy. People in the waiting room were standing up to see what all the commotion was about. I had made it to the lobby…..paper bib still attached….15 inches of drool hanging mid air from my mouth. And I was yelling “ the British are coming!!! The British are coming!! And they aren’t getting my teeth!!!”

I made it out the office door and ran smack dab into a van that was parked in front of the door. I hit it hard and bounced off of it, landing in the prickly holly bushes that were so nicely planted outside. I hit my head on the brick wall and I suppose that finished me off.
When I woke, I was lying on a stretcher and a paramedic was taking my blood pressure. She explained to me that I’d had a bad reaction to some medication and they were taking me to the hospital to make sure I was alright. The police were there too. Standard procedure I guess when a patient looses it and runs wildly through the office, assaulting everyone in her path. Oh and I was still missing half on my tooth….still looking like a reject from the Beverly Hillbillies.

I got my tooth fixed the next day. They used General Anesthesia.:)
That is SO awesome. I just had that one dude wrenching the needle 'round my mouth, but this is an absolute classic. :)
And, for anyone out there not gettin' the Deliverance ref, check out Peech's homepage! :)

Your bosses are awesome. Yeah, hippies are excellent sources of legal evasion tactics. Alaska is so awesome...ly far away from civilization.;)

Yeah, one is an anthropologist who worked for an oil company and in a nuclear facility. Hippies with legal experience are better. And us being far away has kept us better for longer.

Yeah, one is an anthropologist who worked for an oil company and in a nuclear facility. Hippies with legal experience are better. And us being far away has kept us better for longer.
It also gives Fass a good reason to bitch us out for our woefully meandering and decades-since-passed fashion sense.

So He gives me that stupid useless Nitrous gas and I wait. I wait for the Novocain shots to come. He said I’d only need 3 or 4. (3 or 4 my ass….is this a dentist’s office or Pete’s House of Pain? Is this guy qualified?:confused: What if he screws up? What if has like a stroke or something while he’s SANDING my tooth? I could be scarred for life! A freak! I could….)
Well, he comes back and tells me he spoke with my regular dentist via phone. “I’ve decided to give you a mild intravenous sedative for the procedure. You will be “awake” but you wont be ‘aware” that anything is going on.” Hell, that’s what I’m talking about. I’m thinking everything is going to be ok. Just breathe Kel. Just let the nice man put you to sleep. You won’t feel anything. You’ll be unpacking boxes and rearranging furniture in no time.
Yeah, right.

Now the rest is a blur. And I tell it from partial memory and partial recanted stories about it. Oh and the police report helped clear things up a bit. Apparently the drug he shot me up with wasn’t quite as mild as he’d let on. I felt relaxed and loose and my hearing went fuzzy. Like I had earmuffS on or something. Then I just laid back and skipped off to La La land. That is until I heard a nurse speaking to that Dentist. They were talking about something…..cutting something. Yes. Cutting. I paid special attention to the conversation…..rude to eavesdrop I know, but heck….I had nothing better to do. I heard him tell her “she’s out. She has no idea what’s going on. We’ll just cut the rest of the tooth out and put an implant in. She’ll never know.”

I was frozen in fear. They were plotting to cut my tooth out…..behind my back! Without my permission! I got up from the chair and stumbled around. The sound of metal instruments clanging about and falling to the floor must have brought some attention to my attempted escape. They rushed in and tried to help me back to my chair….but oh no, I wasn’t going quietly. I wrestled myself free and “ran”(I’m told later that it looked like I was running underwater….slow mo) out of the room and kept running into things. And people. I knocked an elderly lady down….her dentures fell out of her mouth. I knocked over several wire baskets of papers from the receptionist desk, 2 potted plants and an 8 year old boy. People in the waiting room were standing up to see what all the commotion was about. I had made it to the lobby…..paper bib still attached….15 inches of drool hanging mid air from my mouth. And I was yelling “ the British are coming!!! The British are coming!! And they aren’t getting my teeth!!!”

I made it out the office door and ran smack dab into a van that was parked in front of the door. I hit it hard and bounced off of it, landing in the prickly holly bushes that were so nicely planted outside. I hit my head on the brick wall and I suppose that finished me off.
When I woke, I was lying on a stretcher and a paramedic was taking my blood pressure. She explained to me that I’d had a bad reaction to some medication and they were taking me to the hospital to make sure I was alright. The police were there too. Standard procedure I guess when a patient looses it and runs wildly through the office, assaulting everyone in her path. Oh and I was still missing half on my tooth….still looking like a reject from the Beverly Hillbillies.

I got my tooth fixed the next day. They used General Anesthesia.:)

This is by far the best dentist story I have ever heard. And f*ck them for that behind the back of a drugged up patient bullsh*t. Never know, my *ss. You would feel the difference. Different Texture.

So He gives me that stupid useless Nitrous gas and I wait. I wait for the Novocain shots to come. He said I’d only need 3 or 4. (3 or 4 my ass….is this a dentist’s office or Pete’s House of Pain? Is this guy qualified?:confused: What if he screws up? What if has like a stroke or something while he’s SANDING my tooth? I could be scarred for life! A freak! I could….)
Well, he comes back and tells me he spoke with my regular dentist via phone. “I’ve decided to give you a mild intravenous sedative for the procedure. You will be “awake” but you wont be ‘aware” that anything is going on.” Hell, that’s what I’m talking about. I’m thinking everything is going to be ok. Just breathe Kel. Just let the nice man put you to sleep. You won’t feel anything. You’ll be unpacking boxes and rearranging furniture in no time.
Yeah, right.

Now the rest is a blur. And I tell it from partial memory and partial recanted stories about it. Oh and the police report helped clear things up a bit. Apparently the drug he shot me up with wasn’t quite as mild as he’d let on. I felt relaxed and loose and my hearing went fuzzy. Like I had earmuffS on or something. Then I just laid back and skipped off to La La land. That is until I heard a nurse speaking to that Dentist. They were talking about something…..cutting something. Yes. Cutting. I paid special attention to the conversation…..rude to eavesdrop I know, but heck….I had nothing better to do. I heard him tell her “she’s out. She has no idea what’s going on. We’ll just cut the rest of the tooth out and put an implant in. She’ll never know.”

I was frozen in fear. They were plotting to cut my tooth out…..behind my back! Without my permission! I got up from the chair and stumbled around. The sound of metal instruments clanging about and falling to the floor must have brought some attention to my attempted escape. They rushed in and tried to help me back to my chair….but oh no, I wasn’t going quietly. I wrestled myself free and “ran”(I’m told later that it looked like I was running underwater….slow mo) out of the room and kept running into things. And people. I knocked an elderly lady down….her dentures fell out of her mouth. I knocked over several wire baskets of papers from the receptionist desk, 2 potted plants and an 8 year old boy. People in the waiting room were standing up to see what all the commotion was about. I had made it to the lobby…..paper bib still attached….15 inches of drool hanging mid air from my mouth. And I was yelling “ the British are coming!!! The British are coming!! And they aren’t getting my teeth!!!”

I made it out the office door and ran smack dab into a van that was parked in front of the door. I hit it hard and bounced off of it, landing in the prickly holly bushes that were so nicely planted outside. I hit my head on the brick wall and I suppose that finished me off.
When I woke, I was lying on a stretcher and a paramedic was taking my blood pressure. She explained to me that I’d had a bad reaction to some medication and they were taking me to the hospital to make sure I was alright. The police were there too. Standard procedure I guess when a patient looses it and runs wildly through the office, assaulting everyone in her path. Oh and I was still missing half on my tooth….still looking like a reject from the Beverly Hillbillies.

I got my tooth fixed the next day. They used General Anesthesia.:)


Who's Kel?

Who's Kel?


me silly:p .....Kelley or Kel as some choose to call me.

me silly:p .....Kelley or Kel as some choose to call me.
oh man, I also hate Dentists. had to have all four wisdom teeth pulled. (I opted to wait because why go though that 4 times instead of once.) I insisted I be put completely out for that procedure. Didn't care how much I had to pay.

me silly:p .....Kelley or Kel as some choose to call me.
What a strange coinkydink. Kewl. :)

What a strange coinkydink. Kewl. :)
Oh, I'll get around to writing that story about my wrist up.. sometime..