NationStates Jolt Archive

Of the most recent movies I've watched, Alexander (http://alexanderthemovie.warnerbros.com/) must be named as a truly terrible film. I mean...everyone warned me, but I just had to see for myself!

Why was it so terrible? It had amazing costumes and sets, and clearly cost a lot of money...plus, that hot-yet-psycho-wench Angelina Jolie was all pillowy-lipped and sexy...it should've been great! But it wasn't. I never once cared about the main character, and all those flashes to the pretty boy he was sleeping with made no sense...yes, they were a bunch of Greeks (Macedonians rather) and we all know they liked their gay sex. Good on them. But it wasn't believable...Colin Farrel had no heat in him, and the gay sex really didn't advance the plot. Not that sex must, but still...actually, the movie seemed more focused on Alexander being gay, than on what he actually was doing...and like I said, Colin just didn't pull it off.

I hated that a bunch of the Macedonians had Irish accents. The battles were boring, and the jumping back and forth in time was annoying. The whole thing just sucked so, so badly. Gah. It's a fascinating story, and they made it boring! BORING!

Wild Wild West.

If you've seen it, I'm sorry for you.

Wild Wild West.

If you've seen it, I'm sorry for you.
I actually managed to avoid it. Which is surprising, because I can't seem to help myself...I want to prove to myself that these movies are really as bad as everyone says or something.

Napoleon Dynamite. I want my two hours back.

Daredevil. It wasn't the casting, it wasn't the acting, it wasn't even really the script (okay, it was partly the script)--it was the fact that the producers and the director took what was one of my favorite comic stories and turned it into a ninety-minute music video with no emotional depth. I wanted that film to be good. I ached for it to be good. And when I finished watching it, I felt like someone had taken a dump on my chest.

'O'.
It was baaad. One of the few movies I regretted having spent the money for the movie tickets.

Solaris, the George Clooney version.

They halved the running time of the original to only 1.5 hours, and introduced dialogue. :(

I didn't even go to watch it. The travesty. :mad:

I actually managed to avoid it. Which is surprising, because I can't seem to help myself...I want to prove to myself that these movies are really as bad as everyone says or something.

It's not worth there. There is bad that's good because it's bad, and then there is "poke me in the eye because that would hurt less" bad. Seriously, basically any Will Smith film is a suckfest.

Mission to Mars. Truly the worst movie I've ever seen. The script is lifeless and uninspired, the characters are so dull that I enjoyed seeing them die, the plot is atrocious, and the ending is an incredibly pretentious attempt to rip off 2001: A Space Odyssey (a far superior film). To summarise: it blows.

And the Spongebob Squarepants movie sucked as well.

It's not worth there. There is bad that's good because it's bad, and then there is "poke me in the eye because that would hurt less" bad. Seriously, basically any Will Smith film is a suckfest.


Untrue.

Every Will Smith movie except "6 degrees of separation" is a suckfest.

Daredevil. It wasn't the casting, it wasn't the acting, it wasn't even really the script (okay, it was partly the script)--it was the fact that the producers and the director took what was one of my favorite comic stories and turned it into a ninety-minute music video with no emotional depth. I wanted that film to be good. I ached for it to be good. And when I finished watching it, I felt like someone had taken a dump on my chest.

Yeah, I thought exactly the same thing. And the same went for Hulk as well. :mad:

I hated War of the Worlds. Honestly, it was really stupid, and it really left a lot of things as leaps of faith...and it was just a stupid "People are dying, I'm gonna keep watching...oh he's coming for me, time to run into the open." movie.

And the Spongebob Squarepants movie sucked as well.
I actually like it. But then again, I've seen it 40,000 times, and maybe I'm just immune. My kids love it. Really, I'm not one to judge any animated film for kids:(

I hated War of the Worlds. Honestly, it was really stupid, and it really left a lot of things as leaps of faith...and it was just a stupid "People are dying, I'm gonna keep watching...oh he's coming for me, time to run into the open." movie.
Wow...there is a movie that everyone said sucked...and I actually quite liked it! It created in me enough terror and tension to keep me interested...the whole way through I thought "what would I do? Where would my family and I run to?". It's not something I'd watch more than once, but it didn't make my eyes glaze over.

Untrue.

Every Will Smith movie except "6 degrees of separation" is a suckfest.
Ah, you beat me to it. That movie was good.

Yeah, I thought exactly the same thing. And the same went for Hulk as well. :mad:
I didn't bother--see, I never thought of the Hulk as a particularly deep character, even when I was reading practically everything in the Marvel Universe (wayyyyyyyy back in high school--Alpha Flight, anyone? Groo the Wanderer?). But Daredevil was one of my boys, and it just hurt to have this one suck so bad.

On a completely different level of suckiness, I went to see "You Can Count on Me" because so many of my fellow writers said it was wonderful. It was complete and utter soporofic crap. I stayed, thinking that it couldn't be as sucky as it seemed to be, that it had to somehow rise above the level of suckiness it had begun in, and yet it disappointed, neither rising above to bearableness nor sinking below into utter "make fun of the screen because it's so bad" retardedness.

Napoleon Dynamite. I want my two hours back.
Why? How can we know to avoid it if you aren't specific?

I take it you have never seen son of the mask or the new lady-killers

Even fire would reject these films why? Because they are the most boring un-funny films I have ever seen lady-killers had shorty in it (you may remember him from the ace film “don’t be a menace“) how the hell can shorty not be funny somehow they pulled it off at the same time putting me in a coma

There was also the day after tomorrow I sat all the way through that piece of Sh!t and didn’t get one tit shot instead we followed geeky teenagers through a magical quest were global warming happens in under 200 years and his obviously purvey father comes to the rescue just in time to save his son but not the world oh no that would be too hard and would ruin the ability to warp Tony Blair’s mind so that we have to suffer whilst he builds his heated palace in Africa paid for by running the G8

More to come….

It's not worth there. There is bad that's good because it's bad, and then there is "poke me in the eye because that would hurt less" bad. Seriously, basically any Will Smith film is a suckfest.
Isn't he annoyingly arrogant? Not like Denzel Washington arrogant...which comes across as hot...Will Smith is just an ass. In 'I, Robot', I just wanted him to die a horrible death...and I refuse to buy SharkTales because I hate him so. He was much better as the goofy Fresh Prince of BelAir.

Untrue.

Every Will Smith movie except "6 degrees of separation" is a suckfest.

No, that one sucked, too. It sucked because Will Smith sucked in it. And not in a good way, because it was obvious he didn't kiss that guy, and the gay sex scenes were so fucking awful.

Oh, and don't get me started on Donald Sutherland! Only redeeming thing was Stockard Channing, but she always kicks ass, so that was to be expected.

...Colin Farrel had no heat in him, and the gay sex really didn't advance the plot. BORING!


Is it usually a recipe for success?

I've found Colin Farrel to be lousy-he's part of the kiss of death in two movies named here in this thread's short life already.

I'm drawing blanks right now on my opinion of terrible movies

I actually like it. But then again, I've seen it 40,000 times, and maybe I'm just immune. My kids love it. Really, I'm not one to judge any animated film for kids:(
Spongebob Squarepants is a pile of kitschy fun, especially the bit where David Hasselhoff stakes his claim to becoming the next William Shatner. It's pure, delicious camp.

Armageddon

Acting was worse than anything I've ever seen, characters were boring as hell, and for a movie about heroic efforts to save the world with shouting, loud explosions and a bunch of special effects it was still dull enough to put me to sleep. I can recommend this movie for one purpose only. As a cure for insomnia.

i agree with alexander. as a history student, i scratched my head on more than one occasion. it was a looong movie but only covered a few battles. most of the movie was like you said, about his homosexual behavior. the records gave a small hint that he was gay, but it was not definiate. so basically they wanted the whole movie to be about his romantic/personal life instead of his military and political correar. they also had him wounded in the wrong battle. i was hoping for a better movie but was dissapointed.

The History of Violence. horrible movie. anyone that has seen it would understand.

Isn't he annoyingly arrogant? Not like Denzel Washington arrogant...which comes across as hot...Will Smith is just an ass. In 'I, Robot', I just wanted him to die a horrible death...and I refuse to by SharkTales because I hate him so. He was much better as the goofy Fresh Prince of BelAir.

I resent Shark Tales-stereotyping sharks as viscious, dim witted Italians-that in the end transform into wiggers.
Aside from that it was a piece of shit my kids didnt like anyway

'Be Cool'. Way too overhyped (around here anyway).

And the Spongebob Squarepants movie sucked as well.

tell me about it there was no Patrick being the brain damaged starfish that he is and it wasn't nearly as funny as the episode were squid worth is in the wheel chair and that massive jellyfish stings him ROFLMAO

It also could have been longer

The History of Violence. horrible movie. anyone that has seen it would understand.
Aww...I was going to see it because of Viggo.

Lost in Translation

Everyone said, oh what a good movie...but GOD! I felt like I'd spent 48 hours in a dirty motel room by myself after I watched that movie...if boredom and ennui are what they were trying to get you to feel, they succeeded. The only good part was Bill Murray doing those dumb commercials.

Super Mario Bros. Every copy of that... thing should be thrown to the fires of Mount Doom.

Daredevil. It wasn't the casting, it wasn't the acting, it wasn't even really the script (okay, it was partly the script)--it was the fact that the producers and the director took what was one of my favorite comic stories and turned it into a ninety-minute music video with no emotional depth. I wanted that film to be good. I ached for it to be good. And when I finished watching it, I felt like someone had taken a dump on my chest.
I was willing to tolerate that one, if only because the supporting cast (Michael Duncan Clark in particular) made up for most of the shortcomings.
You're right that making Elektra the love of his life after a one night stand wasn't very convincing, though. :headbang:

There's a few films I've seen and absolutely hated, but Razor Blade Smile remains the biggie,as almost everything that can be wrong with it is wrong: I've seen Vin Diesel Films with better scripts, the acting is appalling, and the film spends far more attention to the heroine's hooters than anything else. The real icing on the cake though, is that the lead actress is the other half of the chap who runs Redemption video (a UK distributor of Italian horror films and eurosleaze soft porn) and informed the UK horror magazines that they wouldn't be sent anymore videos for review if they said anything unpleasant about her starring role. Classy.

Armageddon

Acting was worse than anything I've ever seen, characters were boring as hell, and for a movie about heroic efforts to save the world with shouting, loud explosions and a bunch of special effects it was still dull enough to put me to sleep. I can recommend this movie for one purpose only. As a cure for insomnia.


There was a good Journey song on the soundtrack

No, that one sucked, too. It sucked because Will Smith sucked in it. And in a good way, because it was obvious he didn't kiss that guy, and the gay sex scenes were so fucking awful.

Oh, and don't get me started on Donald Sutherland! Only redeeming thing was Stockard Channing, but she always kicks ass, so that was to be expected.


Nah, youre being overly-critical, and obviously have a strong biased against Will Smith, although you'll get no words of reproach from me for that.
That movie was enjoyable, if not a cinematic masterpiece.

A truly awful film is one that has no moments of likability to it whatsoever, and that film, while not great by any stretch of the imagination, wasnt horrible.

There was a good Journey song on the soundtrack


That assumes there is such thing as a "good Journey song".

I didn't bother--see, I never thought of the Hulk as a particularly deep character, even when I was reading practically everything in the Marvel Universe (wayyyyyyyy back in high school--Alpha Flight, anyone? Groo the Wanderer?). But Daredevil was one of my boys, and it just hurt to have this one suck so bad.


Well, no, the Hulk wasn't deep, but Banner was. And Alpha Flight? Hell yeah! Used to have issues 1-75. :cool:

Men in Black 2.

Jumps several years into the future complete with villains with no backgrounds. Lacks any storyline, well it has a storyline, it is just the story line is Will Smith's character going around being a pompous ass. Then it throws out a really lame ending that was a mix of a shitty anti-Disney ending and an attempt at the thought-provoking comedy of the ending of the first movie - and fails miserably. Oh look, the door no one goes through and Smith's character has never noticed open into a locker into some alien lock room. Oh yes, that is just as deep and funny as our entire universe being a marble for another alien species after the universe being on the cat's collar. Not.

'Be Cool'. Way too overhyped (around here anyway).
ARGGHH! My husband just made me watch that...and neither of us could even watch 'Get Shorty' it was so bad, so why we bothered with this, I don't know...yet I couldn't help but be enthralled by the guy who thought he was black. And the Rock playing such a friggin' idiot. It was hard took look away...but that movie was full of pointless cameos and stupidity...I almost puked when Travolta and Thurman decided to revisit their Pulp Fiction days via dance...oh it was so, so, so bad. So bad. I hate Travolta. And everyone else in that movie, up to, and now including Steven Tyler.

Why? How can we know to avoid it if you aren't specific?

Napoleon Dynamite was supposed to be hilarious. It made me chuckle -- but only twice.

Red Dawn
The Grudge

Aww...I was going to see it because of Viggo.

Lost in Translation

Everyone said, oh what a good movie...but GOD! I felt like I'd spent 48 hours in a dirty motel room by myself after I watched that movie...if boredom and ennui are what they were trying to get you to feel, they succeeded. The only good part was Bill Murray doing those dumb commercials.
See now, I liked that one, probably because my girlfriend was on the other side of the continent at the time and I was looking for a reason to be mopey and depressed. Talking to my friends about it, there seemed to be very few people with an indifferent reaction to it--loved it or hated it.

Wow...there is a movie that everyone said sucked...and I actually quite liked it! It created in me enough terror and tension to keep me interested...the whole way through I thought "what would I do? Where would my family and I run to?". It's not something I'd watch more than once, but it didn't make my eyes glaze over.


I can sum that movie up as the director getting drunk and taking a piss on the author's grave. I mean, it wasn't even the Martians invading...:mad:

Kreynoria']I can sum that movie up as the director getting drunk and taking a piss on the author's grave. I mean, it wasn't even the Martians invading...:mad:
Ok, I accept that. I wasn't looking at it as an actual rendition of the War of the Worlds, however, despite the title. A bit of willing auto-deception on my part.

Obviously none of you have ever seen the parody show "mystery science theatre 3000." This show parodies the WORST movies in God's creation. If u look at the internet movie database you can find some truly awe inspiringly bad films, particularly those of the 60s.

Manos, the hands of fate, is, i can guarantee you, worse then anything made in the last fifteen years, even such horrific flops as Starship Troopers and The Country Bears.

War of the Worlds was a terrific film, it just had some strange plot points that could have been fleshed out better. I mean, look who it was directed by.... i think he knows wut hes doing. And cruise, however much people hate him, is a fine actor (let the flaming begin).

It will be a cold day in hell before I watch anything by M. Knight Shaymalan.

Why?

Signs.

The Villiage.

ever seen Hackers need I say more?

Aww...I was going to see it because of Viggo.


well you should see it for yourself. but at least i warned you about its suckiness... :p

ever seen Hackers need I say more?
It wasn't so bad--I mean, it had Angelina Jolie before she got plastinated to hell and back. What's not to like about that?

Obviously none of you have ever seen the parody show "mystery science theatre 3000." This show parodies the WORST movies in God's creation. If u look at the internet movie database you can find some truly awe inspiringly bad films, particularly those of the 60s.

Actually, I was a HUGE fan of that show, and I'd seen most of the movies years before MST3K ever ran 'em. The thing is, those movies are "funny bad." You can still enjoy watching them. But the movies we've been mentioning here have just been skidmarks on the underwear of Hollywood.

I'd have to say Hulk was bad. The only reason this one sticks in my mind is that I remember when I was in 7th or 8th grade and Hulk just came onto video, and the art teacher said "Let's watch it!" and everyone was excited and happy, then the teacher put the movie in. YEAH!!!! It started, and I literally remember three things about it... Two and a half... Banner gets turned into the hulk, the scene where Banner as a baby sees (or hears... Whatever) his mom (Or dad... Whatever) die from radiation... Or something, and me and my friend making jokes about the hulks pants not ripping off... After watching the entire movie and only remembering about the first 10 or so minutes, I assume it was a god-awful movie my mind blanked out.

On a totally unrelated topic, has anyone seen The Warriors? I just rented the game (Which is okay) but the story looks good. I wasn't able to find it at a video store. Was it good?

ARGGHH! My husband just made me watch that...and neither of us could even watch 'Get Shorty' it was so bad, so why we bothered with this, I don't know...yet I couldn't help but be enthralled by the guy who thought he was black. And the Rock playing such a friggin' idiot. It was hard took look away...but that movie was full of pointless cameos and stupidity...I almost puked when Travolta and Thurman decided to revisit their Pulp Fiction days via dance...oh it was so, so, so bad. So bad. I hate Travolta. And everyone else in that movie, up to, and now including Steven Tyler.
Hehe. I can't remember any funny parts in that 'comedy'. All it managed to prove is that Christina Milian is an awesome singer.

Oh wait, I remember that 'gangsta' crew with Andre Benjamin from Outkast. Those guys were actually pretty funny.

ever seen Hackers need I say more?

Que? QUE??!!!! I love that movie. I don't know why though...

Obviously none of you have ever seen the parody show "mystery science theatre 3000." This show parodies the WORST movies in God's creation. If u look at the internet movie database you can find some truly awe inspiringly bad films, particularly those of the 60s. My family and I used to LOVE that show! But it was all old movies...I'd like to see them do it for current ones too.

Manos, the hands of fate, is, i can guarantee you, worse then anything made in the last fifteen years, even such horrific flops as Starship Troopers and The Country Bears. That movie has cult-status it's supposed to be so bad...I can't get it locally. I'll try it one day.

On a totally unrelated topic, has anyone seen The Warriors? I just rented the game (Which is okay) but the story looks good. I wasn't able to find it at a video store. Was it good?


Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrre yooooooooooouuuuuuuuuu readyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!?!?

:cool:

In Hell...

...they show this movie every day.

"Megalodon" http://imdb.com/title/tt0284303/

war of the worlds was an act of genocide not only did it try to use the same ending that was plausible in 1800 it somehow had us humans turning against each other (which is made up by movies) the crazy guy with the shovel made no sense especially when he got his ass kicked by Tom Cruise (even though this guy is a New York taxi driver!) also the stupid kid saying "oh look it must be terrorists" made me choke on my popcorn (which was a better deal than buying the ticket)

war of the worlds would be perfect for blind and deaf care centre or as a torture device also I heard people saying wow Steven Spielberg it must be good even though I have seen it I mean c’mon

My family and I used to LOVE that show! But it was all old movies...I'd like to see them do it for current ones too.
When we bought the Star Wars 2 Attack of the Clones dvd for my nephew, my girlfriend, her brother and I played MST3000 while our nephew watched it. Lots of voiceovers of Hayden Christiansen's pouting.

Napoleon Dynamite. I want my two hours back.

Indeed, that movie was so stupid that it made Zoolander look philosophically deep in comparison.

Que? QUE??!!!! I love that movie. I don't know why though...
Yeah, me too. I've seen it many, many times. But puta la huevada, Angelina has turned into such a freak...I mean, she's damn hot...but she really comes across as out of her mind. She scares me, even through the screen.

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrre yooooooooooouuuuuuuuuu readyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!?!?

:cool:


I thought it was:

CAN YOU DIG IT?!!!

Or mayhaps the game changed it. Or maybe you're quoting another part of the movie. But I just love how Luther says his famous, "Warriors... Come out to play-ay" line. Cool stuff.

Indeed, that movie was so stupid that it made Zoolander look philosophically deep in comparison.
Zoolander wasn't deep? :D

Dhoom was an absolutely terrible (Bollywood) movie. To realize what Bollywood has now become causes me to look down in shame and shake my head.

The Dungeons and Dragons movie. I don't really think I need to say much more then the name here.

Indeed, that movie was so stupid that it made Zoolander look philosophically deep in comparison.

People are so divided on that movie. I personally loved it and bought it for a full DVD price. The whole school basically loved it (The senior class named the Liger their class mascot) I don't know, it's just good...

Of the hundreds of movies I've watched, one stands out as the all-time worse.
If you dare, try watching:

INDIO 2: The Revolt

starring, yes, sadly, "Marvelous" Marvin Haggler.:gundge:

On the so bad it's good list, a new addition is:

The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra

The dialogue is horribly charming, yet charmingly horrible.

I thought it was:

CAN YOU DIG IT?!!!

Or mayhaps the game changed it. Or maybe you're quoting another part of the movie. But I just love how Luther says his famous, "Warriors... Come out to play-ay" line. Cool stuff.

He does both, if I remember correctly. It has been a long time, though...

Two of the worst movies i've seen are the perennial Battlefield Earth, for reason not worth going into again, and "Equilibrium."

The review for the New York Times summed up equilibrium better than anyone else has been able to: "a movie that could be stupider only if it were longer. "

"The true sleaziness comes after Preston beats a brace of fellow cops to their bloody, picturesque deaths to protect a puppy from execution. Just when you think ''Equilibrium'' can't sink any lower, the movie slaughters shame, too. "

It is also noteworthy that when people get shot, smoke bombs apparently go off in their clothing. In one scene towards the end, it is difficult to see the gunshot victims because of all the smoke or flour that is sprayed out of their clothing.

Solaris, the George Clooney version.

They halved the running time of the original to only 1.5 hours, and introduced dialogue. :(

I didn't even go to watch it. The travesty. :mad:


I walked out of that movie when "insane clown posse" music started playing.

Its the only movie I remember walking out of.

Bring It On Again

dear Lord...

I can't even bring myself to point out how rotten that movie was on so many levels. One of the most passionate parts of the movie is the head cheerleader losing her temper and yelling out in several undecipherable high-pitched shrieks in rapid succession.

The acting in the movie was horrid. I didn't pick the first 'Bring It On' because Kirsten Dunst and Eliza Dushku were in it and I love those two.

It will be a cold day in hell before I watch anything by M. Knight Shaymalan.

Why?

Signs.

The Villiage.

Signs would have been nice if it was in a language I dont speak and without subtitles.

It succeeded in some very well-done "make you jump" scenes, but other than that was slop.

The village was just slop.

Two of the worst movies i've seen are the perennial Battlefield Earth, for reason not worth going into again, and "Equilibrium."

The review for the New York Times summed up equilibrium better than anyone else has been able to: "a movie that could be stupider only if it were longer. "

"The true sleaziness comes after Preston beats a brace of fellow cops to their bloody, picturesque deaths to protect a puppy from execution. Just when you think ''Equilibrium'' can't sink any lower, the movie slaughters shame, too. "

It is also noteworthy that when people get shot, smoke bombs apparently go off in their clothing. In one scene towards the end, it is difficult to see the gunshot victims because of all the smoke or flour that is sprayed out of their clothing.

FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE WHO THINKS EQUILBRIUM IS A TERRIBLE MOVIE

Seriously. Take the worst bits of Fahrenheit 451 and the worst wire-fu of the Matrix, and BLAM, you've got Equilbrium. It's shit. To the max.

Hercules with Lou (The Hulk) Ferrigno.

Words can't describe it.

Runners up:

Solaris
Event Horizen

Anything made by Uwe Boll. Is there seriously any movie he's done that hasn't been an insult to humanity?

Anything made by Uwe Boll. Is there seriously any movie he's done that hasn't been an insult to humanity?

Then you should love that he has two movies comming out based from the games Dungeon Siege and Farcry.....

On a totally unrelated topic, has anyone seen The Warriors? I just rented the game (Which is okay) but the story looks good. I wasn't able to find it at a video store. Was it good?
They have showed it at least half a dozen times since the release of the game. Great movie. Too bad the kung-fu guy lasted all of 20 seconds after the movie really started.

The Postman

I watched it with friends, and we laughed the whole way through, it was so ridiculous. It just kept on heaping up the clichés and unsubtle patriotic nonsense. One of the worst films ever, and worth seeing precisely for that reason.

Troy was fairly bad too. They messed up the original story quite badly. They tried to derive "good guys" and "bad guys" out of a story by the Ancient Greeks, which is simply impossible. And that actor who played Agamemnon played atrociously... I was amused that they made Patroclus into Achilles' "cousin". In the original story, they were gay lovers, but I suppose that would have been too "shocking". ;)

Then you should love that he has two movies comming out based from the games Dungeon Siege and Farcry.....

Technically more then two since the Dungeon Siege will be two movies.

Napoleon Dynamite:sniper:
:headbang: :headbang: :headbang:

I wanted to hit myself for just watching it......
I'm sorry but i thought it was the most stupid thing i have ever seen
like the other guy said i want my two hours back
Napoleon Dynamite:gundge: :gundge: :gundge: :gundge: :gundge:

Bring It On Again

dear Lord...

I can't even bring myself to point out how rotten that movie was on so many levels. One of the most passionate parts of the movie is the head cheerleader losing her temper and yelling out in several undecipherable high-pitched shrieks in rapid succession.

The acting in the movie was horrid. I didn't pick the first 'Bring It On' because Kirsten Dunst and Eliza Dushku were in it and I love those two.

Ah!! Why did you make me remember!?:(

Starship Troopers rates up there. It actually made me feel sorry for the Bugs, but I'm not sure that wasn't the intent. Perhaps the movie-makers were making a statement (like: Why do we have to make this movie?).

I rather liked Signs. It demonstrated omen-reading quite well, and the added suggestion that the omen was a message from god gave the story closure.

There was one movie a few years ago that was so bad that I got up and walked out of the theatre mid-film. Gladly, I don't remember what it was, having successfully blotted it from my memory.

Solaris, the George Clooney version.

They halved the running time of the original to only 1.5 hours, and introduced dialogue. :(

I didn't even go to watch it. The travesty. :mad:
God I hated that

That gets my vote

Starship Troopers rates up there. It actually made me feel sorry for the Bugs, but I'm not sure that wasn't the intent. hehe.. Glad to know I wasn't the only one rooting for the bugs.

The worst movie that comes to mind for me was ExistenZ, I could predict the end after the first 5 minutes or so. Although it wasn't so much the predictability that bothered me, it was just plain stupid as well.
And it's a bit strange really, cause usually I like bad movies. I mean, I even liked "the Avengers", which was pretty bad. But it was so in a funny way. It didn't try to pretend it wasn't bad, perhaps that's the difference.

You guys are all too young to remember movies that are a lot worse than stuff like Signs (which is actually pretty good, IMO).

Two movies that jump out at me are Street Fighter/i], where Kylie Minogue proved that there really is someone with a looser sense of "acting" than Jean-Claude Van Damne, and [i]Red Dawn, where the Brat Pack served as the thin red line of defense against communist aggression [/horror].

Alone in the Dark. A movie based on a video game would have been bad enough. Having Christian Slater (doing his best Neo-meets-Indiana-Jones-impression), Tara Reid, and Stephen Dorff would have been bad enough. Making a movie where the monsters look like wereponies and the main characters manage to outrun a nuclea explosion would have been bad enough. Any of these would have made me regret getting dragged to this steaming pile of a movie but no, the real kicker is that I was supposed to see Hotel Rwanda instead but it was sold out and somehow Alone in the Dark was the fall back...WTF!

You guys are all too young to remember movies that are a lot worse than stuff like Signs (which is actually pretty good, IMO).

Two movies that jump out at me are Street Fighter/i], where Kylie Minogue proved that there really is someone with a looser sense of "acting" than Jean-Claude Van Damne, and [i]Red Dawn, where the Brat Pack served as the thin red line of defense against communist aggression [/horror].

AVENGE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

tremors 2-4

Star Wars Episode 3. My God that was f*cking poor. Made worse because you know exactly what's going to happen. Poor acting, poor dialogue, average special effects, crap fight scenes, hopelessly saccharine story. I can't believe I spent £4.70 on that. And the night before a 9.30 exam...Possibly not the best idea I've ever had.

It could have been good. If the Emperor had been killed; if Anakin hadn't become Darth Vader; if whatsername had called her kids Johnny and Fiona instead of Luke and Leia. In other words, if they'd just totally f*cked around with the future (past?) of Star Wars.

Two movies that jump out at me are [i]Street Fighter/i], where Kylie Minogue proved that there really is someone with a looser sense of "acting" than Jean-Claude Van DamneHuh, that was on TV just last week, or the week before that. Bad, certainly, but in a fun way.

But Daredevil was one of my boys, and it just hurt to have this one suck so bad.

Ok, all of you people complaining about Daredevil sucking, come on, what did you expect? I'm guessing most of you look back fondly on the Daredevil of the last 20 years, the Daredevil Frank Miller cut his teeth on. Did you really think that a major studio would take a chance on THAT Daredevil? Studios want their comic book movies to be comic books the way they were in the 50s. Good guys in tights fighting bad guys in tights, truth, justice, and all that jazz. Maybe Sin City will change that. We can hope.

Aww...I was going to see it because of Viggo.

A History of Violence is a really good movie if ypu like David Cronenberg movies. If you don't like Cronenberg films, you're going to hate it. It is dark, amoral, bleack, graphically violent (in that the violence is realistic and hard to watch rather than hollywood), and lacks any sense of closure. Bad things happen, lives are destroyed, sex and violence occur at the same time, and in the end you're left both thinking and wanting a shower.

There was also the day after tomorrow I sat all the way through that piece of Sh!t and didn’t get one tit shot instead we followed geeky teenagers through a magical quest were global warming happens in under 200 years and his obviously purvey father comes to the rescue just in time to save his son but not the world oh no that would be too hard and would ruin the ability to warp Tony Blair’s mind so that we have to suffer whilst he builds his heated palace in Africa paid for by running the G8

This is truly the best example of stream-of-consciousness writing I've seen in a while.

Man, I love watching trash cinema, so there's no "bad movie" that I hate. Granted, I do have a hard time sitting through most teen dating/sex comedies.

Let's see...

Ginger Snaps and Red Dawn are probably the worst two movies I've ever seen.

The Heroic Trio was so bad, it was hilarious.

Oh yeah, and Halo. Trust me on that one. They'll butcher that story to pieces.

I posted this exact same thing, well almost the exact same thing, at some other place that I shall not name.


A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell is possibly the worst movie ever. The Sound effects were crummy, even for the time, even for an independent film, even for an independent film of the time. I swear my brain was going to explode from those sound effects they were that annoying. It's misleading because the lady who is supposed to be a "Nymphoid" acts anything but. Every time some guy or group of guys tries to make sweet lovin' to her she's always pushing them away or smashing their heads in with blunt objects. Throughout the entire movie there was probably only two or three seconds worth of partial nudity combined. The story itself was as much as one could expect, well not even that much, from a movie that has to rely on advertising sex in the title. The expectations for the movie were minuscule to begin with and it didn't even live up to such a tiny amount. I'm sure few of you, if any, have ever heard of this movie to begin with and probably would have never heard of it if I didn't bring it up. To those people I'm sorry for wasting your time. But if you have heard of it and were in the least bit considering watching it, then I would suggest you take your face to a cheese grater before watching that movie. Why you ask, because you get about the same feeling from both.

...(wayyyyyyyy back in high school--Alpha Flight, anyone? Groo the Wanderer?)...
Groo! My man!

There are movies that I hate so blindly that I can't be coherent about them, like Problem Child or Cop and a Half...but I used to be a projectionist, so I had to see a lot of crap.

But ones I'll rally against-
Dark City-Ugh. Now don't get me wrong, I dig a bit of the retro-scifi, but this drag fest. And the beings that can control the reality get squished by a slow moving building because his coat gets caught? In reality, I should of loved the movie, I love retro sci-fi and have a Jennifer Connely thing. But it was poorely paced, poorly realised and poorly executed in the same fashion as that directors other works, which I won't mention becuase I'm likely to already get some crap for this one.

Magnolia-A clear case for why you finish film school. In the end they teach you that you don't have to use every up-your-own-ass piece of symbolism that comes to your inflated head. People always assume I didn't get it. Yeah, I got it, how could you miss it? He paraded it up and down the street. Everyone singing the same song at the same time? For crying out loud. That movie was like having to listen to an arrogant guy talk about himself. These cats are all the first and second year film students, you just don't get them-they're beyond. Fuckers, tell a story-dammit.

Anything made by Uwe Boll. Is there seriously any movie he's done that hasn't been an insult to humanity?
Sweet, more members of the "Sweet crap who keeps saying yes to this guy?" club.

This is not what Oberhausen was meant for.

Gallipoli dragged along terribly, and had a screeching synthesizer soundtrack that was annoying as hell.

Bladerunner is vastly overrated and extremely incoherent. People will talk about this movie and praise it in order to appear intellectual to their friends, but no one can explain why the movie was so boring, or what the movie was even about. Professional film critics write reviews saying that the movie had some sort of "memory implant" premise but the disjoineted scenes reveal nothing of memory implants, and the only way to know this premise is to be briefed by the studio that promoted the movie. In retrospect, these studios themselves probably don't even know what they're going on about because the movie is just completely incoherent and says nothing about anything.

King Arthur. It was just a horrible movie all around...

...And knowing that I can never get those three hours back makes me hate it even more.

You know how people have the tendency to say that the book is often better than the movie? Well that statement couldn't be more true than it is with 1984.

I liked the book, really I did. It didn't do a damn lick of good to my paranoia, but still I enjoyed reading it. The movie on the other hand made me want to kill myself just to put an end to the misery I suffered from watching that rubbish. Then I realized that I could simply stop the movie. If ever you felt like watching this movie I would suggest that you simply kill yourself for having thought about it.

You know how people have the tendency to say that the book is often better than the movie? Well that statement couldn't be more true than it is with 1984.

I liked the book, really I did. It didn't do a damn lick of good to my paranoia, but still I enjoyed reading it. The movie on the other hand made me want to kill myself just to put an end to the misery I suffered from watching that rubbish. Then I realized that I could simply stop the movie. If ever you felt like watching this movie I would suggest that you simply kill yourself for having thought about it.

Lucky me: I didn't even know that there was a movie adaption. :D

ever seen Hackers need I say more?
Actually, i rather enjoyed Hackers

In Hell...

...they show this movie every day.

"Megalodon" http://imdb.com/title/tt0284303/
It was a decent book, though (titled Meg)

Lucky me: I didn't even know that there was a movie adaption. :D

I think there are two adaptations (maybe three).

Honestly i would say signs and the village are the worst two movies i've seen in a while. I even bared through I, Robot(and i've read the books) But signs... honestly, lets break this down...
The Creature is defeated by water....The Most abundant resource on the planet....wow....i mean it can survive unaided by some kind of suite in an water based atmosphere, but it gets owned by a puddle. just amazing.
And signs...I predicted every aspect of that movie in the first 10 minutes...which made be wanna gouge out my eyes through the entire thing. The only reason i stayed was because my gf at the time was midly interested, and therefore i had to pretend to be such.
2 worst movies

2004's The Phantom of the Opera

With Gerard Butler, Patrick Wilson, and Emmy Rossum.

Hands down this was the worst piece of crap I ever saw. Being someone who is a big fan of the original story (and even a big fan of Lloyd Webber's musical the movie was "based off" - and I use that term loosely.)

The visual aspect of it was pretty awesome - it was only the plot, the actors, and the singing that flushed it down the toilet.

First of all, they cast someone who couldn't sing (Gerard Butler admitted so himself) into the role of a character who was supposed to be "The Angel of MUSIC." Emmy Rossum as Christine wasn't much better - she had trouble hitting notes that were already lowered for her! So much for the star pupil who was taught by the Angel of Music! In the end, the only character who wasn't supposed to be the great singer is the only one who has a semi-decent voice!

Second, they really screwed up the story. First, Erik (the Phantom) supposedly helped build the Opera House - so that bs about him being brought there as a child was completely stupid and unbelievable. If you have to bring up something from his past - why not something like Persia which is written in the original book and mentioned in other remakes?

Third, did you see his "deformity?" He was supposed to be so hideously ugly that his mother couldn't bear to touch him and other people fainted dead away from seeing... In the end, he apparantly has a little bit of a rash that looked better than some sunburns I've had!

It really pissed me off that people went in there and came out loving the Phantom because he "was soooooo sexy!" Uh, did the fact that he was supposed to be a hideously ugly, murderous genius escape the people who were making the film??? It further pisses me off that people will go in and see that drivel and come out thinking that is the best there is in Phantom.

What a load of crap.

I forgot (mercifully) "Gods and Generals."

Awful and god-awfully long.

I have to say that Unbreakable was the worst.. the only film where Ive actually shouted at the movie screen to end! I couldn't stand that piece of sh*t... but what else do you expect from Shyamalan.

Technically more then two since the Dungeon Siege will be two movies.

Ahh but that depends if the first installment makes money! ;)

Domino is the worst film iv seen recently. It was just incoherrent and tony scotts directing was so OTT I almost had a seizure. Which is odd because he directed Man On Fire in the same style and that was great. Maybe its just cos Denzel is a hell of a lot better than Kiera Knightley.

As for Magnolia, which someone was dissing earlier, I hated it the first time I saw it, but now its one of my favourite films. not as good as Boogie nights but still a beautiful film.

And Wild Wild West does suck but as for all Will Smith films? NO way! Independence day rules! Didnt like men in black though.

I forgot (mercifully) "Gods and Generals."

Awful and god-awfully long.

Your scathing review does it this miserable film no justice. Using only OED English, I've yet to find words that truly describe how bad that ball of crap held together only with its own ego was.

Groo! My man!

I'm starting to think we were twins separated at birth. :D

The Villain. It was supposed to be a "comedy western", but it was just bad. Really bad. Starring an extremely young Arnold Schwarzenegger, an extremely desperate Kirk Douglas, and an extremely drunk Ann-Margaret. The fifteen minutes I could stand to watch were essentially a series of gags lifted from Road Runner cartoons, with Douglas playing the coyote. Avoid at all costs.

:sniper:

Ahh but that depends if the first installment makes money! ;)

No such luck I'm afraid (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/news/comments/?entryid=256384)

Guilty By Association.

I have NO idea what possessed Morgan Freeman to be in this travesty of a film. It's one of my least favorite movies I've ever seen. Not funny bad to MST3K. Just terrible bad.

King Arthur. It was just a horrible movie all around...

...And knowing that I can never get those three hours back makes me hate it even more.

:( i have that on DVD...

Cable Guy was just awful, followed closely by Mafia. I saw the latter in the theater and if I wasn't with my brother it would have been the only movie I'd ever of walked out of.

He actually kind of liked it if you can believe it. :rolleyes:

:( i have that on DVD...That's a whole 'nother thread--what's the worst movie you're willing to admit you own?:D

That's a whole 'nother thread--what's the worst movie you're willing to admit you own?:D

lol:D . well i have others that are equal competition. like, the transporter...

Most movies nowadays are little more than passable. I would say the worst would have to be The Patriot. God I wish Mel Gibson would burn in eternal hellfire! :headbang:

Most movies nowadays are little more than passable. I would say the worst would have to be The Patriot. God I wish Mel Gibson would burn in eternal hellfire! :headbang:

i thought it was an "ok" movie...

i thought it was an "ok" movie...
Meh I hated it, and I hate Mel Gibson just as badly. 2 Fast 2 Furious and Torque both fall in my most hated categories as well, although the latter was not that bad.

That's a whole 'nother thread--what's the worst movie you're willing to admit you own?:D

Demolition Man. I enjoyed it despite what others think.

Demolition Man. I enjoyed it despite what others think.
For me, it's probably LadyHawke--not a bad movie for its time, but it hasn't aged well. I did own, at one time, Mortal Kombat II--that's high on the shit list.

And Wild Wild West does suck but as for all Will Smith films? NO way! Independence day rules! Didnt like men in black though.
Tommy Lee Jones saved the first one, the second one sucked.

Usually, there are movies that just don't do anything for me, but there are only a couple that I can think of that make pulling out my toenails with a pair of pliers sound like a pleasant alternative to watching:

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
What made it so bad is I actually watched the whole thing, hoping against hope that it would get better....and it never did! There are times when someone tries to be funny, but just winds up being stupid and it's funny, but those two went for trying to be funny by being stupid and it backfired horribly.

The Cat In The Hat
Normally, Mike Myers is good, but not this time. It was like watching Dr. Evil in a cat suit instead of being an original character. Rather than honoring Geisel's story, it was a hideous lampoon. I managed to watch about 30 minutes of it before I was too nauseated to continue.

Oh yes, Cat in the Hat was awful :eek: :gundge:

Uptown Girls disappointed me as well.

Moulin Rouge. There was a golden time for musicals... and that time was NEVER. This just proves it. Basically, it's a lame movie about a bunch of lame actors doing exagerrated versions of drugged up egomaniacs with entirely too loud voices. I only saw like 5 minutes of it, and it was the worst 5 minutes of my entire life.

Lake Placid. Dumb horror movie about a big alligator with Bill Pullman. Go away.

Deep Blue Sea. Dumb horror movie about a killer shark. Whoop de fucking doo.

Ghost Ship. Dumb horror movie about a floating haunted house. The best and only semi-worthwhile scene is in the beginning when a bunch of people on a pleasure cruise get cut in half by a metal cable. Now that you've read about that, you've experienced everything of worth about this movie.

Crocodile Dundee and it's sequel. Look, I like making fun of Australia as much as anyone else, but this is just silly. It tries to be tongue-in-cheek, in much the same way virgins at the junior prom try to kiss romantically.

Any Star Trek movie involving spaceships. Spaceships don't make sound in space, OK? And a guy wearing makeup with a bump on his face isn't an alien, he's a zit-faced nerd. OK? Okay.

Tank Girl. It's a sad day when Malcom McDowell is reduced to this. Even knowing he was in aforementioned Star Trek movie.

Rocky Horror Picture Show. Another musical, and for that reason alone is worth burning in ritual bonfire to cleanse the world of impurity. Let alone the fact that it has Tim Curry in drag in it. Jesus.

As somebody already mentioned the postman, I wont go into details, except to say that it doesnt even deserve capital letters.

Oh, and Vlad... awful, awful movie, terrible action scenes, the occasional boobie shot to try to keep things interested, but failing to do so. Also, it had the worst acting of any movie I have ever seen. Those were the only two movies I have rented but failed to watch more than 20 minutes through.

I didn't bother--see, I never thought of the Hulk as a particularly deep character, even when I was reading practically everything in the Marvel Universe (wayyyyyyyy back in high school

The Television Drama (the first couple of seasons anyways) was a very deep and somber take on the Hulk. And the piano theme at the end just added to the story of an unfortunate man on the run from everyone.

Now, the films I hate because they suck:

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

Even worse and blatant inside jokes referring to the game itself than the original, not to mention quite a few characters were killed off without even a decent show just because the scriptwriters were fucking morons who didn't bother to develop the background and all. Probably the worst video game adaption that isn't directed by Uwe Toilet Boll.

Gothika

Or as I prefer to call it, Crappika. Waste of quite a few Hollywood rosters for some barfbag attempt at a psychological thriller that pretended to be The Sixth Sense or that other film with Kevin Bacon, until you realize the only supernatural aspects are a couple of teasers at the start and finish of the film. I didn't want to watch this, I got dragged into it by a relative and I felt vindicated about my disinterest when the credits rolled.

Manos "The Hands of Fate". Just... all I can say, is that when MST3K went after it, the writting team admitted that there were long streches where no one said anything because it was just so damn awful.

Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders! (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0174917/)

Gigli! (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0299930/)

And, the only movie ever to have a character named "Anus' Woman..."
Anus Magillicutty! (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0400172/)

Oh, and:
The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!! (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057181/)
Yes, that's right: That's the actual title.

Note: I haven't seen any of these movies. It's one of those times you can just tell.

There have been plenty of movies I've avoided because they looked like they'd be horrible. A lot of those have been mentioned in this thread already, so I'm very glad I never bothered to go see Signs or The Postman.

However, I'm not always so lucky. One of the worst movies I've ever had the misfortune to see (and to actually pay for at the cinema) was Event Horizon. Trash. Total trash.

Well, okay, the sets were pretty. But that was all it had going for it. It was so boring, the horror was so predictable, and even Sam Neill couldn't pull it out of the fire.

I saw the first 2 minutes of the Dungeons and Dragons movie and promtply turned it off.

For stultifying zombie movies, it's hard to go past Night of the Comet (I think that was its full title). Awful. I saw it at a 24-hour sci-fi festival and luckily it was being shown at 3am so it was a good chance to doze off.

I love Dungeons and Dragons video games and so on...that movie really did the franchise some damage. It had a pathetic plot and annoying characters. Bad movie. :mad:

I love Dungeons and Dragons video games and so on...that movie really did the franchise some damage. It had a pathetic plot and annoying characters. Bad movie. :mad:
You ain't seen nothing yet till you saw the SciFi channel sequel. My God...Not only do I want the time I watched that movie back, I want to sue the SciFi channel for personal injury.

You ain't seen nothing yet till you saw the SciFi channel sequel. My God...Not only do I want the time I watched that movie back, I want to sue the SciFi channel for personal injury.
On that note, the cinematographic rendition of the Earthsea Quartet also made me wanna sue the producer. It was so awful and so faithless to the book, that it should have been burnt. The book is a work of brilliance by a gifted author. The television series is pure trash. :mad:

Moulin Rouge. There was a golden time for musicals... and that time was NEVER. This just proves it. Basically, it's a lame movie about a bunch of lame actors doing exagerrated versions of drugged up egomaniacs with entirely too loud voices. I only saw like 5 minutes of it, and it was the worst 5 minutes of my entire life.


I watched the whole thing. Cursed morbid curiosity.:(

Also Versus. Horrible, ugly, no-budget Japanese action abomination.

I agree with many already posted such as Alexander and MST3K, but disagree with a few as well- I happen to like Starship Troopers (even though it is not like the book at all) and Demolition Man (it has the best libertarian quote from a movie-EVER)

However, the worst of the worst IMHO-
3. Moulin Rouge- *most musicals=lame (although the L.M. video had a few hot chicks wearing not much)

2. Gothika- sucked.ass.bad.

and the #1 all time most lame-assed crappy movie-

Monster's Ball- My dumbass ex made me go see it. I didn't know a thing about it, including who was in it. Imagine my suprise- Hally looked more gross than ever (can't stand her). Billy-Bob looked like an imbred redneck grandfather. And the last thing I EVER wanted to see was his wrinkled sweaty ballsack bouncing on her.



edit *I say most because technically a few movies I like could be called musicals, such as the South Park movie.

On that note, the cinematographic rendition of the Earthsea Quartet also made me wanna sue the producer. It was so awful and so faithless to the book, that it should have been burnt. The book is a work of brilliance by a gifted author. The television series is pure trash. :mad:
I didn't think that the Earthsea was all that good of a book series/quatrology thing. The first was good, the second was nice, the third was megh, and the fourth book was one of the few books that disgusted me until I threw it across the room. The 10 minutes I saw of the Scifi Movie, however, was a soul scarring experience.

Anyway, Sky Captain and the World of Tommorow was an abomination that even fire cannot purge from this world. Especially the ending of the whole subplot about that stupid woman's camera.
"Oh, I can't take a picture of a dinosaur because I've only got one picture left!"
"Giant robots aren't important enough, I must save this picture"
"A spaceship filled with elephants and cows, no I must save this last peice of film."
"Oh, look! Its my boyfriend who has been with me the whole time and will be with me later when I can get more film. I'll take a picture of him!"
I yelled out "GODDAMMIT WOMAN!!" in the middle of the theatre. Normally, this would be embarrasing to me, but I didn't mind because I was the only one in the theatre at the time.

Napoleon Dynamite

Why you should never live in eastern Idaho. *shudders* . It was amusing only in showing how truly sad those people's lives were.

Boogeyman

It sucked balls. The scariest part of the whole movie is when the crow hit the window and that was in the first part of the movie. The rest of it was just a muddled mess of jumping through doors.

I'm going to have to agree with Sky Captain, as well as The Chronicles of Riddick...

...such amazingly unimaginative movies! :mad:

I'd have to say the D&D movie. That was really really bad.

Movies included here which I enjoyed:

King Arthur. A neat take on the origins, but mostly I was renting it for the senseless violence.

Starship Troopers. I own this one, and I love it. Great score and quite intense, despite a certain female lead being incorrigeably ditzy. Yeah, I happen to like violent movies. Also, the recruitment segments were hilarious.

Dungeons and Dragons. Okay, I can't actually defend this one. The dwarf was okay. I wanted to stab the princess chick with a Vorpal Sword, though.

Napoleon Dynamite. I thought it was dumb first time I watched, but it gets funnier each time. It's anticlimax incarnate.

I'm probably going to see dungeon Siege regardless of what it seems like. I heard that Burt Reynolds is playing the king, and whoah-damn I will not miss that.

And I'm glad no one mentioned Tron, because that is, despite all the naysayers, one of the sweetest movies ever. Moebius on concept art = solid gold.

And now, my submission for a truly bad movie.

Masters of the Universe. Absolutely ridiculous. I love it.

I forgot (mercifully) "Gods and Generals."

Awful and god-awfully long.

Ugh, and the acting was the worst part of it. Ted Turner needs a brain transplant.

Napoleon Dynamite

Why you should never live in eastern Idaho. *shudders* . It was amusing only in showing how truly sad those people's lives were.

I grew up in eastern Idaho. *shudders*

The movie was still an international war crime.

And now, my submission for a truly bad movie.

Masters of the Universe. Absolutely ridiculous. I love it.

Hell yeah, biatch!!!

Gwildor pwns joo!!!1!

http://home.uchicago.edu/~hawk68/Pictures/gwildor_closeup.jpg

Dungeon & Dragons....
I love the game but I hate the movie. The only highlight is the beholder...

I'm starting to think we were twins separated at birth. :D
You wouldn't say that if you saw my pathetic attempts at poetry (long since abandoned)...

But I may have been the first person to get the reference in your name-which when I saw it my first thought was "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!" (I had just been demoing some Buckley for a friend that day)

That's a whole 'nother thread--what's the worst movie you're willing to admit you own?
Probably be Excalibur. Not horrible, but...I just don't feel the same way about it as I did when I was a geeky little kid.

It's hard to pick an all time worst movie. There are so many to choose from. I'll go with the first two that popped into my head when I saw this thread:

Armegeddon. Pure crap. Mind numbingly predictable. The entire movie could have been condensed into a 30 second music video. Completely filled with bad science, bad acting and bad writing.

Highlander II. It appeared they ran through their budget half way through the film and had nothing left for sound editing, script revisions, special effects or acting coaches. It seemed as though the story was cobbled together as they went along from the few scenes that they could afford to have developed from the film lab.

Starship Troopers.

I saw the "film" first and thought it was great. Then I read the book and realized that the film is a piece of junk made by illiterate hollywood bozos who don't seem to have a problem with maligning and destroying an author's work if it will make some money. :mad: :headbang: :mad: :headbang:

Screw hollywood. Read a book instead.

Wing Commander, the aliens/special effects are a joke and the characters are so hate-able (I just wanted them all to die).

Braveheart. It's pretty silly for Mel Gibson to go all critical on how evil the English were and paint the Scottish as virtuous and noble, who just wanted freedom. Both sides were full of complete bastards, the Scottish would reguarly go on raids to rape and pillage on border towns. Besides, William Wallace wasn't some working class hero - he was a rich man, who had previously served as an English mercenary. As for impreganting the queen of England...well...when Wllace died she was 4 years old...i'm not saying that he didn't do it...but perhaps it would not be quite as romantic an affair as portrayed?

Besides, before Gibson decides to shit all over British history and stir up trouble between Scotland and England, perhaps he should try to sort out his own fucking countries relations with the aboriginals. He seems to just have a thing against the British full stop - look at The Patriot, another appallingly inaccurate movie of his which makes the British soilders in the revolutionary war look all evil and the revolutionarys all perfect. I hope it's because as a kid a British boy used to make his life hell at school or something.

Braveheart. It's pretty silly for Mel Gibson to go all critical on how evil the English were and paint the Scottish as virtuous and noble, who just wanted freedom. Both sides were full of complete bastards, the Scottish would reguarly go on raids to rape and pillage on border towns. Besides, William Wallace wasn't some working class hero - he was a rich man, who had previously served as an English mercenary. As for impreganting the queen of England...well...when Wllace died she was 4 years old...i'm not saying that he didn't do it...but perhaps it would not be quite as romantic an affair as portrayed?

Besides, before Gibson decides to shit all over British history and stir up trouble between Scotland and England, perhaps he should try to sort out his own fucking countries relations with the aboriginals. He seems to just have a thing against the British full stop - look at The Patriot, another appallingly inaccurate movie of his which makes the British soilders in the revolutionary war look all evil and the revolutionarys all perfect. I hope it's because as a kid a British boy used to make his life hell at school or something.

I agree 100%. I was surprised by The Passion of Christ, though. I was expecting Jesus to be killed at Trafalgar by Admiral Nelson.

AI, how Spielberg made such an horrendous peice of shiite I will never know. Its just this gigantic soppy story thats a rip off pinichio and set in the future.

Napoleon Dynamite. I want my two hours back.

Ditto.

That movie was a waste of my time.

As was "Four Weddings and a Funeral"

Absolutley pathetic. My reasons being basically that I couldn't relate to the main character, I thought it should have ended differently and the idea was that it was meant to end witha happily ever after , but I thought if you continued the movie realistically they would have lasted a total of 2 weeks max.

Yep... I didn't like "English Patient" either... bored me to tears...

Braveheart. It's pretty silly for Mel Gibson to go all critical on how evil the English were and paint the Scottish as virtuous and noble, who just wanted freedom. Both sides were full of complete bastards, the Scottish would reguarly go on raids to rape and pillage on border towns. Besides, William Wallace wasn't some working class hero - he was a rich man, who had previously served as an English mercenary. As for impreganting the queen of England...well...when Wllace died she was 4 years old...i'm not saying that he didn't do it...but perhaps it would not be quite as romantic an affair as portrayed?

Besides, before Gibson decides to shit all over British history and stir up trouble between Scotland and England, perhaps he should try to sort out his own fucking countries relations with the aboriginals. He seems to just have a thing against the British full stop - look at The Patriot, another appallingly inaccurate movie of his which makes the British soilders in the revolutionary war look all evil and the revolutionarys all perfect. I hope it's because as a kid a British boy used to make his life hell at school or something.



The funny thing in the Patriot is when Morgan Freeman says something at the end like "At last my Country is free!" - not yet for you mate, slavery was outlawed in the British emprire about 100 years before it was in the USA.

Braveheart is pure bollocks as you say - there was no concept of a unified Scottish political identity at that point in history. Although the blame for all that should lie with the idiot who wrote the novel/script rather than Mel (I think he was called Wallace and thought he was related) There's now a statue in Scotland of William Wallace which is in reality a statue of Mel Gibson playing William Wallace - it's the most horrible thing.

There's now a statue in Scotland of William Wallace which is in reality a statue of Mel Gibson playing William Wallace - it's the most horrible thing. I had heard that it'd been decapitated.

I realise that this may well draw a lot of fire, but... I never ever managed to see the whole Casablanca. I inevitably fall asleep, or decide to watch the rest some other day as it is so mindbogglingly boring...

Polar Bear King-Shit Acting.
Little Women-Just crap it has the vaguest reference to war but no fighting.

kill bill.
i just don't see whats so great about a movie so in love with its own style its totally up its own arse, which has a pathetically linear and simple plot, wooden acting, and pointless and quite ridiculous fight scenes. and yet some people actually orgasm over it.... i just don't get it :confused:
i wouldn't have hated it if it had flopped, but nooooo... :headbang:


another one: Speilberg's A.I.
what a boring piece of shit.


oooh the worst one: Mission Impossible 2.
total wankery. overly "styled", the plastic faces were a joke, and it was just wall to wall shit.

Most of my worst films have already been mentioned:

Street Fighter: A movie so bad I believe it actually killed Raul Julia.

Dungeons and Dragons: Just stay away.

Armageddon: Everything explodes. Everything.

Also, I have to add National Treasure: It was so bad it almost made physically ill.

You are exagerating right, PM?

I havent wasted my time watching Kill Bill i figured it was crap.
In fact i don't think i have ever seen a Q T movie at all, at all.

You are exagerating right, PM?

I havent wasted my time watching Kill Bill i figured it was crap.
In fact i don't think i have ever seen a Q T movie at all, at all.
nope, not exaggerating, and i have seen it (god that was a fun bloody 4 hours when all your friends loove it and you have to sit there and pretend not to be going "WTF?!")

some QT movies are good. well... ish. not as great as some of his asskissing fans would have you believe, but resivoir dogs was a good movie imo, and from dusk till dawn was passable.

haven't yet seen sin city cos, going on past experiences with QTs films, i won't like it...


i guess i just don't like things that try to be cool.

unfortunately I really hated h2g2 (or hitch hikers guide to the Galaxy for none familiars)

I grew up with the books the radioplays and the TV series, the casting was almost great (Stephen Fry as the voice of the book was perfect Zaphod was cool,) however It had so much to offer and delivered soooooo very little I was terribly dissapointed, all I can say is Belgium

unfortunately I really hated h2g2 (or hitch hikers guide to the Galaxy for none familiars)

I grew up with the books the radioplays and the TV series, the casting was almost great (Stephen Fry as the voice of the book was perfect Zaphod was cool,) however It had so much to offer and delivered soooooo very little I was terribly dissapointed, all I can say is Belgium
it did offer so very little... they would have been better off releasing it as a much longer trilogy imo. then it could have been good (and had much more book-like humour and nonsense in it too, something lost in the movie a bit due to too much concentration on plot...)


however: zaphod was good? did i miss something :confused:
could have been played better (more like the radio show methinks) but the actor was an alright choice i guess


hmmm i'm making myself out to be a bit of a movie snob here :p

Mafia vs Ninja
A monstrosity, pure and simple.

Feeders 2
Aliens that look like tennis balls on sticks attack a shitty neighbourhood, shooting down Santa's sleigh. Santa teleports away, then teleports back with a plastic ray gun and kills them all. End film. Die.

Nukie and Miko
A crappy ripoff of E.T. with none of the things like acting, special effects, passable camerawork or good writing to make it watchable. Half the movie is simply two God-awful puppets screaming out each other's names.

Thin Red Line
The most over-hyped and overrated film I've ever encountered. The book was a great and accurately conveyed the horror of the War in the Pacific, the movie was nothing but bullshit psuedo-philosophical rambling monologues and about 50,000 close-ups of flowers, bugs and light spilling through trees. The only good part was when Jim Caviezel died.

kill bill.
i just don't see whats so great about a movie so in love with its own style its totally up its own arse, which has a pathetically linear and simple plot, wooden acting, and pointless and quite ridiculous fight scenes. and yet some people actually orgasm over it.... i just don't get it :confused:
i wouldn't have hated it if it had flopped, but nooooo... :headbang:
In a very technical sense, it did flop. Kill Bill Vol. 1 only made a small portion over it's cost to make ($55mil to make, @$70 mil domestic) meaning that it managed to barely cover it's cost (1/3 again what the movie costs to make, usually). The second one did worse (@$66 mil) but benefited from being only a $30 mil movie. But by failing to hit the magic $100 million domestic it actually didn't do that well by the studio yardstick. (numbers from imdb.com, domestic is the only thing calculated, overseas is just seen as butter...sorry guys...)

I would explain what that movie had to offer, but it would be lengthy and resemble a school paper and wouldn't convince you of a damn thing. The only thing I would take issue with is it being linear, as Tarantino's signature (should) be his non-linear story telling as a way of playing with audience perception, which was prominant in the Kill Bill movies. Granted, everyone sees his signature as being foul mouthed dialog and violence. Ah well...I will grant that it's not for everyone and it certainly can be viewed as up it's own ass.


another one: Speilberg's A.I.
what a boring piece of shit.
Never send Speilberg to do Kubrick's job.


oooh the worst one: Mission Impossible 2.
total wankery. overly "styled", the plastic faces were a joke, and it was just wall to wall shit.
It was in MI:2 I learned that in the John Woo universe villians often employ the "Dove and Pigeon Alarm" as a last line of defense. The fluttering birds alert the villians of the hero's presence and force the hero into slow motion to give the villians more time to react.

There are so many...
"Kingdom of Heaven" sucked, as usual on an Orlando Bloom film.
"Alien VS Predator" was simply stupid most of the time, to contrast with both predecessors.
"The Brothers Grimm" was also a major disappointment.
"House of 1000 Corpses" was terrible...

And so on...

nope, not exaggerating, and i have seen it (god that was a fun bloody 4 hours when all your friends loove it and you have to sit there and pretend not to be going "WTF?!")

some QT movies are good. well... ish. not as great as some of his asskissing fans would have you believe, but resivoir dogs was a good movie imo, and from dusk till dawn was passable.

haven't yet seen sin city cos, going on past experiences with QTs films, i won't like it...


i guess i just don't like things that try to be cool.
Wait so you were in the same room as your friends creaming their pants while watching Kill Bill films?

I hope King Kong will be awesome but i fear it has been over hyped(also Narnia)

As soon as something gets called an epic before it is released to the general public i hold it in the highest contempt.

LOTR never suffered from this.........

Epic are made
You don't make an Epic.

kill bill.
(..) a movie (...) which has (...) pointless and quite ridiculous fight scenes. and yet some people actually orgasm over it.... i just don't get it :confused:

I couldn't agree more. But I liked the Vol2, though.

it did offer so very little... they would have been better off releasing it as a much longer trilogy imo. then it could have been good (and had much more book-like humour and nonsense in it too, something lost in the movie a bit due to too much concentration on plot...)


however: zaphod was good? did i miss something :confused:
could have been played better (more like the radio show methinks) but the actor was an alright choice i guess
I think that the biggest thing missing from that movie (which as it happens I just rewatched at a friends house) was the dialog, which didn't have the snap or delivery that was present in all of the other variations of the story. Everything else was in place, but without the pacing of the dialog that drove the other versions it fell a bit flat. I still laughed (though not so much the second time) but I didn't have that constant giggle that the exchanges the stories usually have would cause.


hmmm i'm making myself out to be a bit of a movie snob here :p
There's nothing wrong with that. If we had more film snobs we'd have less Dude, Where's My Cars....

Never send Speilberg to do Kubrick's job. I spent the whole movie wondering what it would have been like with Kubrick directing and Chris Cunningham managing the special effects.

I can bet for one that Chris Rock wouldn't have had the role of a comical robot who TOTALLY FUCKING RUINED what could have been a fantastic moment.

I forgot one btw.

Undead
An utter embarassment for the Australian Film Industry (as if we weren't shit enough). My God this movie sucked. The pacing was atrocious, the acting horrendous and the plot... what the hell?!

Epic are made
You don't make an Epic.
I'm pretty sure that they are refering to the scope of the story told, not in the esteem it's held.

it did offer so very little... they would have been better off releasing it as a much longer trilogy imo. then it could have been good (and had much more book-like humour and nonsense in it too, something lost in the movie a bit due to too much concentration on plot...)


however: zaphod was good? did i miss something :confused:
could have been played better (more like the radio show methinks) but the actor was an alright choice i guess


hmmm i'm making myself out to be a bit of a movie snob here :p

definately should have been released as a trilogy or even better a 9 - 12 Hour series, Zaphod was cool in that Sam Rockwell was a good choice, although over shadowed by Bill Bailey coming to terms with being a whale (shortly before coming to terms with not being a whale)

It was just so mind shatteringly dissapointing, the whole slartibartfast deep thought 42 magrathea milliways ahhh it pains me to think about the material they had, It has now definately become my biggest movie dissapointment ever.

As was "Four Weddings and a Funeral"

Absolutley pathetic.

That movie has a piece of the worst acting I've ever seen, when, on the end, Andie MacDowell says "Is it raining? I hadn't noticed..." :eek:

I saw Triple X recently and couldn't believe such crap actually got made. But it pales compared to what is definitely the worst ever made - the other version of War of the Worlds that came out this year

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0425638/

Maybe someone already said it but I don't have the energy nor the time to read through 11 pages or so... but the worst movie of all time must be a horrible excuse animate huge tits called 'A Dirty Shame'... I actually wept blood after watching the first 15 minutes and turned it off after 25... I rather have my kidneys removed by a baboon with a wooden spoon than watch that fucking horrendous peice of crap again... Don't EVER rent it... I'm serious.

Battlefield Earth: The battle for the year 3000 was the WORST FILM I HAVE EVER SEEN. Its one redeeming feature was that it had John Travolta in high heels and dreadlocks shooting a herd of cows for no reason. No jokes, he REALLY did that.

I've been unfortunate enough to see 2 quite awful movies recently:

1) Revolver - too long, too confusing (was he schizo? - thats how bad it was - i can't tell!), only good scene was when the assasin guy turned good and shot his way out, but even he died :(

2) Russian Ark - advertised as "2000 Actors. 300 years of Russian History. 33 Rooms at the Hermitage Museum. 3 Live Orchestras. 1 Single Continuous Shot."
Firstly, if you think you might learn any of Russia's history from seeing this film you'd be wrong - the whole '300 years of Russian History' is a flat out lie. basically as these 2 guys walk from room to room the time periods change - not chronologically as you might expect but randomly whilst the dialogue between the two gives you no idea what period you're in - you either see costumes that could range from 17th century through to early 19th or a 4 minute clip of what looks like the late 80s but is actually supposed to be now as the current Russian fashions are a bit behind the times.
the one continuous shot thing was a novelty and proves that the existence of a storyline is more crucial to a film than how little number of shots it can be made in. the only entertaining part was near the end when everyone was dancing and the live orchestra played some good tunes.
if you want to see this rubbish film then i suggest you go with mates who can laugh with you at how rubbish it was, and believe me - you will laugh.
Finally, a joke with which to sum up Russian Ark:
Q: whats worse than spending an hour and a half walking around a boring museum?
A: paying £2 to watch someone walk around a boring museum for an hour and a half whilst speaking russian.

I've been unfortunate enough to see 2 quite awful movies recently:

1) Revolver - too long, too confusing (was he schizo? - thats how bad it was - i can't tell!), only good scene was when the assasin guy turned good and shot his way out, but even he died :(

2) Russian Ark - advertised as "2000 Actors. 300 years of Russian History. 33 Rooms at the Hermitage Museum. 3 Live Orchestras. 1 Single Continuous Shot."
Firstly, if you think you might learn any of Russia's history from seeing this film you'd be wrong - the whole '300 years of Russian History' is a flat out lie. basically as these 2 guys walk from room to room the time periods change - not chronologically as you might expect but randomly whilst the dialogue between the two gives you no idea what period you're in - you either see costumes that could range from 17th century through to early 19th or a 4 minute clip of what looks like the late 80s but is actually supposed to be now as the current Russian fashions are a bit behind the times.
the one continuous shot thing was a novelty and proves that the existence of a storyline is more crucial to a film than how little number of shots it can be made in. the only entertaining part was near the end when everyone was dancing and the live orchestra played some good tunes.
if you want to see this rubbish film then i suggest you go with mates who can laugh with you at how rubbish it was, and believe me - you will laugh.
Finally, a joke with which to sum up Russian Ark:
Q: whats worse than spending an hour and a half walking around a boring museum?
A: paying £2 to watch someone walk around a boring museum for an hour and a half whilst speaking russian.
Welcome to Russian cinema, wait until you see Nostalgia...fifteen minutes of a guy trying to cross a pool with a candle...sweet crap...

You wouldn't say that if you saw my pathetic attempts at poetry (long since abandoned)...

But I may have been the first person to get the reference in your name-which when I saw it my first thought was "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!" (I had just been demoing some Buckley for a friend that day)


Probably be Excalibur. Not horrible, but...I just don't feel the same way about it as I did when I was a geeky little kid.See, I own that one as well. It hasn't aged well, for starters, but there's something a bit surreal about Arthur having an Irish accent.

Starship Troopers, while not bad as crappy action films go, angered me to no end when I saw it.
Its like some guy decided to dig up Heinlein's corpse, quarter it with a chainsaw, paint it cheerful colours and ship it around the world on a hook.

Basicaly, the effects and such were good, and I do enjoy the occasional gore-fest film that serves no purpose other than providing that 'melted brain' sensation, but seriously, you didnt have to take a bloody good book and produce this travesty! They changed everything except the bloody names! They changed THE MAIN PLOT POINTS, they took an anti-war, anti-nationist book and produced a film where people kill/are killed by giant bugs for an hour and a half, with some intermittent sex. Now, look, in the book the bugs are (apparently) at least somewhat intelligent, they had guns, they had tactics (on occasion) and there werent that many of the warriors. Why, WHY, did you reduce them to brain-dead idiots? Oh, yes, because it isnt wrong to kill them then and the books anti-war/nationalism bits dont have to apply anymore.
And, to top it all off, they couldnt even do THAT particularly well. They left out the powered armour and the landing pods, THOSE would have been cool to see at least, but no, lets have a bunch of guys run into combat AGAINST AN ENEMY THAT RELIES ON MELEE WEAPONS WITH NO ARMOUR. Pardon me, but ZO MI GOD! Whoever runs their military needs to be slapped.
And, to top off the insult with injury, they made a second one, and this one didnt even bother ATTEMPTING to LOOK like the books universe, they just decided to produce 'Low Budget Crap Horror Movie #563,234,237,874', threw in some brain-eating bugs, and said 'Look! We make good-um movie! You buy now and we takum you land!' or something similar.
Now Ive gone and gotten angry.
Meh, Ill go buy a bunch of Starship Troopers 2 DVD's (theyre something like ten cents for a dozen now anyway) and shoot them. That always cheers me up.

Starship Troopers, while not bad as crappy action films go, angered me to no end when I saw it.
Its like some guy decided to dig up Heinlein's corpse, quarter it with a chainsaw, paint it cheerful colours and ship it around the world on a hook.

Look, if you want to get pissed at a Heinlein desecration, watch about twenty minutes of The Puppet Masters.

That movie has a piece of the worst acting I've ever seen, when, on the end, Andie MacDowell says "Is it raining? I hadn't noticed..." :eek:

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/British_film_industry

:p

The Matrix Revolutions was absolutely awful, in terms of story and acting. My friend and I just sat there laughing when Trinity was dying because the scene was acted so pathetically that it is impossible to feel any empathy for the characters whatsoever. The ending was bullshit as well - that little girl should have been shot when she said "I made the rainbow for Neo".

And the story of the ending as well was a massive let down: "We fought this massive war, losing thousands of men so we could free our fellow humans from abominable slavery. But now you mention it, yes, we would be satisfied with staying in our hell hole of an underground city while the vast majority of our species continue to be farmed for power. Lets be friends!" What crap.

Oh and Highlander 2 was also really, really bad.

"Chariots of Fire" Worst movie to get "Best Movie" Boooooooring

haven't yet seen sin city cos, going on past experiences with QTs films, i won't like it...

Taratino only does one scene in the movie and had nothing to do with scripting or writing. Basically, Sin City is the origial writer/artist who did the comic book (Frank Miller) and the actual director (Robert Rodriguez) doing their best to manage a panel fo panel translation of the comics. Tarantino came in to do a scene because him and Rodriguez are friends and Rodriguez was trying to convince the old luddite that digital cameras are the way to go.

Starcrash:
NOw, through history, some movies are so bad they are unwatchable. But the mark of a truly horrid film is one so bad you can't help BUT watch. Starcrash is such a movie. It is a tradition at the summer program I went to last sumer to watch this movie. Why? It's unbarable. The effects are mind-knumbingly fake, It has plot holes the size of Texas and, worst of all, David Hasselhoff! Furthermore, it taught me two things about the future:
A: There will be air in space
B: All girls will wear tight fitting space bikinis, even on ice planets...:rolleyes:
But to really appreciate the lameness of this movie, here's my favorite quote from the movie's climax:
Idiot: Father, this entire planet is going to blow up in ten seconds!Typical:rolleyes: We are doomed!
Idiot's dad: My son, I wouldn't be the emperor of the first ring of the universe first ring of the universe? WTF? without having a few tricks up my sleeve. Imperial battleship, HALT THE FLOW OF TIME! The ship can hear him from hundreds of miles beneath the surface of a giant bomb-planet... Dios Mio!

I hated War of the Worlds. Honestly, it was really stupid, and it really left a lot of things as leaps of faith...and it was just a stupid "People are dying, I'm gonna keep watching...oh he's coming for me, time to run into the open." movie.
Did you ever see any "Jurassic Park"'s? Especially "Jurassic Park 3"?

Intoxicated. Only film I got so bored with that I turned it off

Starcrash:
NOw, through history, some movies are so bad they are unwatchable. But the mark of a truly horrid film is one so bad you can't help BUT watch. Starcrash is such a movie. It is a tradition at the summer program I went to last sumer to watch this movie. Why? It's unbarable. The effects are mind-knumbingly fake, It has plot holes the size of Texas and, worst of all, David Hasselhoff! Furthermore, it taught me two things about the future:
A: There will be air in space
B: All girls will wear tight fitting space bikinis, even on ice planets...:rolleyes:
But to really appreciate the lameness of this movie, here's my favorite quote from the movie's climax:
Idiot: Father, this entire planet is going to blow up in ten seconds!Typical:rolleyes: We are doomed!
Idiot's dad: My son, I wouldn't be the emperor of the first ring of the universe first ring of the universe? WTF? without having a few tricks up my sleeve. Imperial battleship, HALT THE FLOW OF TIME! The ship can hear him from hundreds of miles beneath the surface of a giant bomb-planet... Dios Mio! "Plan 9 From Outer Space"?

Starship Troopers, while not bad as crappy action films go, angered me to no end when I saw it.
Its like some guy decided to dig up Heinlein's corpse, quarter it with a chainsaw, paint it cheerful colours and ship it around the world on a hook.

Basicaly, the effects and such were good, and I do enjoy the occasional gore-fest film that serves no purpose other than providing that 'melted brain' sensation, but seriously, you didnt have to take a bloody good book and produce this travesty! They changed everything except the bloody names! They changed THE MAIN PLOT POINTS, they took an anti-war, anti-nationist book and produced a film where people kill/are killed by giant bugs for an hour and a half, with some intermittent sex. Now, look, in the book the bugs are (apparently) at least somewhat intelligent, they had guns, they had tactics (on occasion) and there werent that many of the warriors. Why, WHY, did you reduce them to brain-dead idiots? Oh, yes, because it isnt wrong to kill them then and the books anti-war/nationalism bits dont have to apply anymore.
And, to top it all off, they couldnt even do THAT particularly well. They left out the powered armour and the landing pods, THOSE would have been cool to see at least, but no, lets have a bunch of guys run into combat AGAINST AN ENEMY THAT RELIES ON MELEE WEAPONS WITH NO ARMOUR. Pardon me, but ZO MI GOD! Whoever runs their military needs to be slapped.
And, to top off the insult with injury, they made a second one, and this one didnt even bother ATTEMPTING to LOOK like the books universe, they just decided to produce 'Low Budget Crap Horror Movie #563,234,237,874', threw in some brain-eating bugs, and said 'Look! We make good-um movie! You buy now and we takum you land!' or something similar.
Now Ive gone and gotten angry.
Meh, Ill go buy a bunch of Starship Troopers 2 DVD's (theyre something like ten cents for a dozen now anyway) and shoot them. That always cheers me up.
the film's anti-war, anti-facist, anti-nationalist points were surely fucking evident/obvious!?
were to me at least. its one of the reasons i like it so much.


though i agree - the sequel was abysmal (largley cos it was just more of the first one but just no political points at all and just more gore)

My Stepmother is an Alien. Jesus H. Christ, was that movie a snoozefest!

Crash. So pretentious, so unrealistic, so cliched. And it's in the IMDb top 250! That movie was designed for a broad, american audience.

aaarh... aaarh!

Did you ever see any "Jurassic Park"'s? Especially "Jurassic Park 3"?
Since the first Jurassic Park aired on sci-fi last night, I remembered something. What the fuck? Why is the fatass disabling all this shit on the island? Does he have some evil benefactor? What the fuck is the catalyst here?

Starship troopers is actually a parody of American Action Movies. (AAM) I thought the drill camp made it obvious.

Starship troopers is actually a parody of American Action Movies. (AAM) I thought the drill camp made it obvious.
You never read the book did you?

Did you ever see any "Jurassic Park"'s? Especially "Jurassic Park 3"?

Heretic! Burn him! Burn him!!!!!

You never read the book did you?

Sadly, people these days seem not to want to be bothered with anything that isn't on a screen. :rolleyes:

Sadly, people these days seem not to want to be bothered with anything that isn't on a screen. :rolleyes:
My favourite dumbass comment ever is when I was railing about the Hitchhiker movie, and how it didn't match the book, and he said, 'They wrote a book based on the movie?' Seriously. The man doesn't read.

Crash. So pretentious, so unrealistic, so cliched. And it's in the IMDb top 250! That movie was designed for a broad, american audience.

aaarh... aaarh!


That movie makes me angry. Not just because it sucked, but because its made my life confusing. One of my favorite Cronenberg movies was also called Crash, although it was about people who fetishized car accidents. Now any time I mention the movie I have to add a caviat.

My favourite dumbass comment ever is when I was railing about the Hitchhiker movie, and how it didn't match the book, and he said, 'They wrote a book based on the movie?' Seriously. The man doesn't read.

Sweet jeebus! :headbang:

"Really terrible movies, and why you hated them."

Apocolypse Now has to be the most disgusting, warped, inaccurate, poorly written, poorly acted, poorly directed, and just plain evil movie it has been my extreme displeasure to ever encounter. God, I hate that movie! :mad:

Blade Trinity

Awful...

Every line by the main character was ended with "motherfucker!!"

Horrific Product-Placement... "She can only fight with her music" What the fuck is that?

And HHH is a god-awful actor in the 15 minutes he graces our screen as some kind of demented-deamon thing

We saw it on a Film Studies "trip" (an excuse to get outta college near the last day of term really) and everybody hated it, lol

Any of those street smarts, gangsta movies starring those extremely irritating Will Smith or any of those other dumbass Afro-American hip hop actors. I'm not a racist, but I just cannot stand those types of movies. Think of Bad Boys 1 and 2. Wild Wild West also falls into that monumentally lame category.

You've Got Mail and My Best Friends Wedding also score high on my most hated movies list. I hate them. I don't know why, but I hate them with a passion. Blues Brothers 2. I don't think I need to mention more. Equilibrium too, watching it is like following a course "raping a potentially great movie scenario". Signs is also pretty bad, but not as nearly as bad as that britney spears movie.

"Really terrible movies, and why you hated them."

Apocolypse Now has to be the most disgusting, warped, inaccurate, poorly written, poorly acted, poorly directed, and just plain evil movie it has been my extreme displeasure to ever encounter. God, I hate that movie! :mad:

What about Platoon? That was arguably a lot worse.

Was it just me or was the product placement in I, Robot unbearable.

"Nice Shoes"

My favourite dumbass comment ever is when I was railing about the Hitchhiker movie, and how it didn't match the book, and he said, 'They wrote a book based on the movie?' Seriously. The man doesn't read.
You know they made a movie of the book Indian in the Cupboard? Not only did they make a movie of the book, they wrote a book based on the movie. So we have now a book based on a movie based on a book. Hurray!

You know they made a movie of the book Indian in the Cupboard? Not only did they make a movie of the book, they wrote a book based on the movie. So we have now a book based on a movie based on a book. Hurray!
That's happening more and more often. There's a novelization of the film "Bram Stoker's Dracula." I'm a writer, and much as I'd like a paycheck, no way do I ever put my name on a piece of shit like that.

I hated War of the Worlds. Honestly, it was really stupid, and it really left a lot of things as leaps of faith...and it was just a stupid "People are dying, I'm gonna keep watching...oh he's coming for me, time to run into the open." movie.
Worst ending ever.
An the son running into the open an getting nuked? And surviving?
Everyone meeting up at the end happily ever after?
I could go on.
But officially the worst film ever?
Care Bears the movie.
Just dont ask.

That's happening more and more often. There's a novelization of the film "Bram Stoker's Dracula." I'm a writer, and much as I'd like a paycheck, no way do I ever put my name on a piece of shit like that.
And for the Indian and the Cupboard book based on the movie (:rolleyes:), I think it was a straight republication of the original.

Plan 9 From Outer Space.

Reading the back should have been warning enough: "Worst movie and worst director in the history of Hollywood!" But I wanted to be able to say I have seen the worst movie ever! Now I can.

But in my opinion, the worst most boring movie I have ever seen is The Matrix. Why? Because the concept of a bunch of crazy goths running around is not entertaining. That is why I go to the movies, to be entertained, not to learn a lesson or to think about some dumb question, to have fun. This movie really did not do a good job of that.

The second and third one's sucked even more. Please if you have not seen this movie (which I doubt any of you have not), do not see it!

The History of Violence. horrible movie. anyone that has seen it would understand.

I thought that was a great movie.

They changed THE MAIN PLOT POINTS, they took an anti-war, anti-nationist book and produced a film where people kill/are killed by giant bugs for an hour and a half, with some intermittent sex. ...Oh, yes, because it isnt wrong to kill them then and the books anti-war/nationalism bits dont have to apply anymore.


I've read and throughly enjoyed the book myself, however, please explain how it is anti-war/nationalism. Or at least define what you mean by "anti-war" and "anti-nationalism." (Edit: my hypothetical car's bumper could accomodate "no blood for oil," "support the troops," and "eviscerate !@#$%^& terrorists" bumper stickers side by side in perfect harmony, according to my definitions :D )

Some movies are so bad that they are funny. But Time Cop was bad without being funny at all.

What about Platoon? That was arguably a lot worse.
True. I''ve only seen three movies about Vietnam that were fairly close to being accurate: A Rumor of War, Hamburger Hill, and We Were Soldiers.

Some movies are so bad that they are funny. But Time Cop was bad without being funny at all.

You can buy three copies of Time Cop at Wall-Mart for only 19.99!

What about Platoon? That was arguably a lot worse.

Overall pretty bad.

One thing that was right on was that short firefight in the jungle.

My buddy did two tours in the Rangers and he got up and left after that scene. I went after him and he apologised and said he freaked a little.

He said later on that was a taste of what it was like. Silence, all hell breaks loose, silence......

We Were Soldiers.

Can we call you Grandfather! :p

Tank Girl. It's a sad day when Malcom McDowell is reduced to this. Even knowing he was in aforementioned Star Trek movie.

Hey, I actually like this film. It ain't high art, and it certainly has its problems, but it is kind of fun in a camp-rompy kind of way. If nothing else it basically made some kind of sense as a film. I wish I could say the same for the two worst films I saw last year - even copious amounts of alcohol couldn't save these ones - Aliens vs. Predator and Alone In The Dark. Both were incoherent muddled abortions that should never have been revealed to the cold light of day.

Of the most recent movies I've watched, Alexander (http://alexanderthemovie.warnerbros.com/) must be named as a truly terrible film. I mean...everyone warned me, but I just had to see for myself!
The reason this movie sucked major ass is quite simple. Oliver Stone took the term bisexual, which alexander was, to mean limp-wristed fucktard who can't get his shit together. Now, does that sound like one of the greatest generals and dictators the world has ever seen to you?


As for the worst movie I've ever seen, that would have to be Teenage Caveman. Part post-apocalyptica, part softcore porno, part horror movie, part romance, and it fails utterly in all categories.

The reason this movie sucked major ass is quite simple. Oliver Stone took the term bisexual, which alexander was, to mean limp-wristed fucktard who can't get his shit together. Now, does that sound like one of the greatest generals and dictators the world has ever seen to you?
I think that must be it...the film completely glossed over how he achieved what he did, and focused on him not fathering children on his wife, his emasculating and vaguely incestuous mother, his debauched father, and his mute love-boy. Cripes, if that was all there was to him, he'd hardly have become such a legend. Oh, go ahead and cry some more Colin, you SUCK!

This is the first movie I've ever walked out of.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110167/
It has Rosie Perez in it. I think that I've said more than enough.

Although Free Willy may count but I only fell asleep during that one.

Alien VS Predator- Had nothing to do with the other alien movies

Freddy VS Jason- Just a cheap excuse for them to fight.

Napoleon Dynamite- I walked out of the theater after 20 minutes of this P.O.C. film (POC=Piece of Crap)

Supernova. Or that's what I think it was called... oh well. Sooo fucking random. Bunch of space-rescue guys go to a moon somewhere really fucking far away, then meet a guy who found an alien device made of 'seventh dimentional material(whatever the fuck that is)' which gives people super strength if they touch it long enough. Turns out this guy is like some chick on the ship's crazy ex, and he ends up killing a bunch of the crew. But it gets worse - it turns out this random thing made by a random alien race never seen in the movie is designed to wipe out all life in the Universe, but at the end the AI comes on and says something like - this will take 72 years to reach earth and will either destroy all life on earth... or 'usher in a new golden age of humanity.' Long story short - I'm now Pro-Choice:p

"Plan 9 From Outer Space"?
Attack of The Killer Tomatoes! :D

Can we call you Grandfather! :p
Tell you what ... I gonna make u a offah u can' refuse: you can call me Godfather and I won' have u fitted wid cement overshoes! Mwahahaha! :D

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058548/)

This is the sort of movie that you expect to be horrible but funny. It isn't. It went past the bad-funny straight through to stupid, and into creepy at times. The only redeemeing feature of it was my friends and I making fun of it the whole way through.

Oh yeah, any made for tv Disney movie. Disney has gone to hell after Walt's death, but the stuff they release for the Disney channel makes the stuff Sci-fi releases look deep and thoughtful.

All made for tv Disney movies have the same formula: boy/girl lives a normal life, something crazy happens to boy/girl, boy/girl saves the day, boy/girl gets the girl/boy. The end.

Hell, there was one where a kid turned into a fucking mermaid. By the end of the movie, he has befriended the nerdiest kid in school (despite being the captain of the swim team) and had the hottest girl in school fall in love with him. At the end, he turns into a mermaid and leaves forever and still gets the girl.

Oh yeah, any made for tv Disney movie. Disney has gone to hell after Walt's death, but the stuff they release for the Disney channel makes the stuff Sci-fi releases look deep and thoughtful.

All made for tv Disney movies have the same formula: boy/girl lives a normal life, something crazy happens to boy/girl, boy/girl saves the day, boy/girl gets the girl/boy. The end.

Hell, there was one where a kid turned into a fucking mermaid. By the end of the movie, he has befriended the nerdiest kid in school (despite being the captain of the swim team) and had the hottest girl in school fall in love with him. At the end, he turns into a mermaid and leaves forever and still gets the girl.

To quote Zoolander, "Merman, Dad. Merman."

Seriously, though, yeah, that sounds pretty bad.

All made for tv Disney movies have the same formula: boy/girl lives a normal life, something crazy happens to boy/girl, boy/girl saves the day, boy/girl gets the girl/boy. The end.
To be fair, that is the plot for a lot of movies, and not all of them are bad. Saun of the Dead was more or less that (with the exception that the boy/girl saving the day wasn't a major character).
But the merman thing was just fucked up, which leads me to my question:
"Why, in the name of the Great Boogeyman in the Sky, do you watch the Disney Channel?"

Re: Tank Girl...

Hey, I actually like this film.

...but then I must confess that I'm somewhat favourably prejudiced to any film in which Paul Westerberg has a hand in the soundtrack: he even made my time watching Singles feel like a worthwhile experience. Ghod bless the 'Placemats. Never mind having fucking Devo doing the main theme. What is not to like?

Mars Attacks is a really awful movie and we should burn all copies before others have to view its hiddeousness. Having the country music cause their brains to explode was the only good part of the film. Other than that, just terrible.

From the past 2 years... Bogeyman. Yea.. It's just horrible. The first 1/3 of the movie... maybe even the first 1/2... was REALLY surprisingly good. I thought "wow... the critiques of this movie are wrong!" But a few cheesy special effects, bad lines, and stereotype horror bullish nonsense and I gave up hope and left the theatre.

Cursed was pretty miserable too, but I can't decide if that was on purpose or not, although that wouldn't entirely excuse that garbage.

I'll add more as I think of them and hopefully expand to more than 2004-now.

To be fair, that is the plot for a lot of movies, and not all of them are bad. Saun of the Dead was more or less that (with the exception that the boy/girl saving the day wasn't a major character).
But the merman thing was just fucked up, which leads me to my question:
"Why, in the name of the Great Boogeyman in the Sky, do you watch the Disney Channel?"
There isn't alot else on at 12 PM in the middle of summer.

And Mars Attacks was one of the best movies ever. That is like saying Monty Python and the Holy Grail sucks. The whole point of Mars Attacks is to make fun of all the 1950s invasion movies, and it does a damn good job.

There isn't alot else on at 12 PM in the middle of summer.

And Mars Attacks was one of the best movies ever. That is like saying Monty Python and the Holy Grail sucks. The whole point of Mars Attacks is to make fun of all the 1950s invasion movies, and it does a damn good job.

Mars Attacks and Monty Python are NOTHING alike. That movie just makes me shudder while Monty Python (and the Black Knight :D) is in fact timeless.

The whole point of Mars Attacks is to make fun of all the 1950s invasion movies, and it does a damn good job.

It does take an extreme left turn at the end with all the Tom-Jones'-mystical-animal-island though which left me, who had enjoyed it up to that point justing sitting there going 'WTF?'

The absolute worst movie of all time is "Troll 2". The movie is SO bad that it is actually good, I kid you not. Any of you who have seen this will know what I mean.

Movies included here which I enjoyed:



Starship Troopers. I own this one, and I love it. Great score and quite intense, despite a certain female lead being incorrigeably ditzy. Yeah, I happen to like violent movies. Also, the recruitment segments were hilarious.


OMG I really loved that movie. Everybody needs a movie to love that is hated by most. Starship Troopers proved many interesting day dreams for an escapist like me, and i would often lose myself in mathclass dreaming about me and my friends/classmates fighting the bugs.

But enough about movies I like. This is thread is about movies we do not like.
STARSHIP TROOPERS2OMGGGGGGG. That was pure and simple crap on a huge level. I remember me and my friend rented both (starship trooper) movies from Blockbuster one summer night, because we both were in love with teh first one. After finishing the first we popped in the latter. OMG ITS LIKE A CROSS BETWEEN ALIEN AND A ZOMBIE MOVIE. a small division of characters enters some stupid fort, and take in some blonde chick, which results in tit scene (which in no way saves this crapfest) shes infected with some bug that controls people. In a very, very predicatble matter the characters are switched sides. AND YOU CAN CARE LESS WHEN THEY DO BECAUSE THEY ARE FLAT AND STUPID...And no one picks up untill it too late. Dumbasses. It soiled the first one, they tried to hard to make it edgy. As one soldier proclaims "We are losing this war because every one is fucking instead of fighting!" Huh, the wars being lost? Since when? What happened? I give up.

The first one soiled the first one.

The absolute worst movie of all time is "Troll 2". The movie is SO bad that it is actually good, I kid you not. Any of you who have seen this will know what I mean.
I think I remember that, it was the movie in which no Trolls actually appeared, but they instead had some Goblins (in the town of Nilbog even, such zaniness).
That movie was scary as hell when I was 6 and saw it for the first time.

They made a second Starship Troopers? :confused:

Two of the worst movies i've seen are the perennial Battlefield Earth, for reason not worth going into again, and "Equilibrium."

The review for the New York Times summed up equilibrium better than anyone else has been able to: "a movie that could be stupider only if it were longer. "

"The true sleaziness comes after Preston beats a brace of fellow cops to their bloody, picturesque deaths to protect a puppy from execution. Just when you think ''Equilibrium'' can't sink any lower, the movie slaughters shame, too. "

It is also noteworthy that when people get shot, smoke bombs apparently go off in their clothing. In one scene towards the end, it is difficult to see the gunshot victims because of all the smoke or flour that is sprayed out of their clothing.

You are now my enemy for hating Equilibrium.

Cable Guy was just awful, followed closely by Mafia. I saw the latter in the theater and if I wasn't with my brother it would have been the only movie I'd ever of walked out of.

He actually kind of liked it if you can believe it. :rolleyes:

Since you hate Mafia you are also my enemy now too.

Since you hate Mafia you are also my enemy now too.

The storyline of that film was moronic, the acting was terrible and the jokes were flat. That part at the end with the little dinos from Jurassic Park 2 getting that kid... man I wish I never saw that film. But hey we all got to like something, Novoga! :)

Bowling for Columbine.....I started yelling at the TV.

The storyline of that film was moronic, the acting was terrible and the jokes were flat. That part at the end with the little dinos from Jurassic Park 2 getting that kid... man I wish I never saw that film. But hey we all got to like something, Novoga! :)

I thought it was an excellent comedy. In the ranks of Monty Python films, Airplane, or a Marx Brothers film.

Species.

When it first came out a bunch of us went to see it, and thereafter it was always known in our circle as Faeces. And as if one wasn't bad enough, they went and made a second!! Needless to say, I didn't bother seeing "Faeces II".

Species.

When it first came out a bunch of us went to see it, and thereafter it was always known in our circle as Faeces. And as if one wasn't bad enough, they went and made a second!! Needless to say, I didn't bother seeing "Faeces II".
Species II was the best movie about an alien/human hybrid running around and raping women until a black guy stabs him with a spear ever produced in the US in the past 2 decades.

I didn't care for "The Passion of the Christ"

It brought up a lot of bad memories. It was also very inaccurate.

Species.Ah yes, another one of those movies were I was probably sympathetic with the wrong character. I'm sure the poor girl didn't want to be alien.. Pretty cute though :rolleyes:

I didn't care for "The Passion of the Christ"

It brought up a lot of bad memories. It was also very inaccurate.
I don't much care for pointless sacrilege. A one trick pony is only good for one viewing, at which point it is time to move on to a better game.

'Be Cool'. Way too overhyped (around here anyway).

Tell me about it. Shocking film.