NationStates Jolt Archive

...
6. Cold Mountain
...


[indignant disbelief] What??????[/indignant disbelief] What are you saying???

Cold mountain was awesome!!!

Any movie by Russ Meyers, except "Faster pussycat! Kill! Kill!"
Unless you like soft-porn with overendowed chicks flopping their milk urns out every few minutes.

Actually when I put it that way, they don't sound too bad.

But the problem is they flop (the movie, not the breasts. Come to think of it the breasts do flop as well) as porn and flop as serious movies. And flop as so bad they're laughable, cause they're not.

They're just crap.

Any movie by Russ Meyers, except "Faster pussycat! Kill! Kill!"
Unless you like soft-porn with overendowed chicks flopping their milk urns out every few minutes.

Actually when I put it that way, they don't sound too bad.

But the problem is they flop (the movie, not the breasts. Come to think of it the breasts do flop as well) as porn and flop as serious movies. And flop as so bad they're laughable, cause they're not.

They're just crap.

yeah, I totally agree with you on this. In the beginning they were at least funny, even though no plot existed. In the later movies, the plot was still non existent but there was less nudity and violence as well. And what's the point of that? (Faster pussycat! Kill! Kill! and Supervixen were good, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls was terrible. - murderdolls fans, ring a bell, eh?)

sounds kinda like e.t., if you take out the burgurs and cokes.
Yes, I think it may have been influenced ever so slightly by E.T.
check out the movie poster:
http://www.annarborpaper.com/content/issuev2i8/images_v2i8/macandme.gif

"The Village"


The ending sucked beyond all belief. Seriously.

Those crazy kids films that just aren't very good, like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Mary Poppins. See, REALLY bad films can sometimes be just awful enough to be compelling and hilarious (Battlefield Earth, for instance - officially the worst big film ever was a side-splitter) but those old kids films are just unbearable. UNBEARABLE!! etc etc...

If I recall... everyone used to have a concensus on "Ishtar", which I've only seen bits and pieces of, thankfully...

"What the @%&$ do we know?"

No contest

Allegedly a movie about quantum mechanics

In reality, some New Age wackos saying that you can get addicted to emotions like crack, and that makes you a god

I wanted to hit my head against something hard so that i could forget the two hours of my life wasted watching that movie.

Just thought of a couple more...

"Amazon Women on the Moon"
"The Adventures of Pluto Nash" - honestly...Eddie Murphy hasn't done a decent movie since Beverly Hills Cop I. II was ok and 3 just out and out sucked. And I can mildly tolerate "The Nutty Professor" I and II.
"Earth Girls Are Easy" - Jim Carrey, Geena Davis/Jeff Goldblum (pre-"Fly"), one of those Wayan guys (can't keep em all straight), and that MTV vj chic.
"Bride of Chucky" - need I say more?
"Pet Semetary II" - they tried too hard to duplicate the original.
"Warriors of Virtue" - Kung-fu Kangaroos....can we say "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"?

Anyone ever see 'them'

absolutely hilarious.

Ok. What do you think is the worst movie ever? Please explain. My personal worst is Catwoman. I don't care if Halle Berry were naked, that still would've sucked.

For me, it's Master of Disguise, no contest. Terrible, terrible, disgraceful movie.

Mafia would be the worst ever. I was shaking my head in disgust through the whole thing.

Solaris. Oh god it made me rip my eyeballs out with my toes it was so fucking boring. 2.5 hours of NOTHING AT ALL.

Eww eww I forgot one.

It's probably been mentioned but:

Gigli

A friend saw it because his girl thinks Ben is sooooo cute. :rolleyes:

He said he tried to sell his soul to get out of the room! :D

As bad as Star Wars I and II were, they were only really that bad compared to the original trilogy, and are distinctly average as films go; the effects redeem them simply because there are many many films with equally bad acting, much worse camera work and production etc, and no eye candy. They're not quite in the same league of awfulness as, say, any police academy sequel, or about 95% of all romantic comedies ever made.

I think the worst movie was the one where their daddy sodomized the Bush twins

Alfie was probably the most ignorant, sexist, stupid movie of all time.

Did anyone mention Tremors ? Ugh. I think they even made a Temors II and III! Starring Kevin Bacon- need I say more? :p

Ok. What do you think is the worst movie ever? Please explain. My personal worst is Catwoman. I don't care if Halle Berry were naked, that still would've sucked.

How can anyone even know what the worst movie ever is theres like a million crappy low budget films out there that no ones even heard of. :gundge:

Equilibrium.

Take one part shitty version of Fahrenheit 451.
Replace reading books with having feelings.
Take one part shitty version of the Matrix.
Remove all plot bits from the Matrix that were cool.
Remove the good bits of the fighting scenes.

You've got Equilibrium.

'Bad Lieutenant' was horrible though

'Last Action Superhero' or whatever that piece of crap was that ARNOLD the governor directed I could not believe how horibble it was so that might get #1

either way has to be one of those two

>>>
>>>
>>>
Wennington-something or other wrote:

CAthenia... maybe you dont know what a B-Movie is. B is for "low Budget" film...

>
>
>

"B" is not for low budget you uneducated opinion spitting computer freak. The "B" comes from the second film of a double feature. There's an A, the film everybody came to see, and there's a B which is a space filler, usually referring to a movie that was made for cheap with the intention on not being very good, but filling time. Ever heard of a quota quickie? They're British and are the same idea. "B" movies aren't technically made anymore because no theater does double features anymore. Nor do they do newsreels, cartoons, or serials. And you thought you were getting your money's worth when you paid $6.00 to see Star Wars III. Hell no. One movie for that price is hardly worth my time, and your utter lack of knowledge in cinema history is hardly worth my time for this response.

Equilibrium.

Take one part shitty version of Fahrenheit 451.
Replace reading books with having feelings.
Take one part shitty version of the Matrix.
Remove all plot bits from the Matrix that were cool.
Remove the good bits of the fighting scenes.

You've got Equilibrium.

<shocked amazement>

i have to say i think 'freddy got fingered' is quite possibly the most awful film ever. the ending with the elephant makes me want to cry just thinking about it! utterly irredeemable.
also i have to give an honorary mention to a no budget kung- fu film called 'magnificent natural fists', i know it's a bit redundant to nominate films that cost £1 from poundland, however what sets this movie aside as a shining example of incomprehensible incompetence is the fact that the DVD spine proclaims the title of the film to be 'magnigicent natural fists'...oh they were obviously soooo proud of their work.

The second highlander movie...only movie I ever got up and walked out on.

The Village -dreadful storyline, even worse acting and the bad guys look like something out of Power Rangers

I don't know - Gigli was pretty bad.

I don't know - Gigli was pretty bad.
not as bad as The Village

not as bad as The Village

I liked The Village. It was rustic.

I liked The Village. It was rustic.
it was the most horrific acting i have ever had the misfortune of seeing in my entire life! and the storyline was just indescribably awful!

You havn't seen bad movies until you watch the crap they make fun of on Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (MST3K for fans). Oh my god, it is the worst! I have never sat through a whole episode of MST3K because, although the comments are funny, the movies are SO bad.

it was the most horrific acting i have ever had the misfortune of seeing in my entire life! and the storyline was just indescribably awful!

The storyline was rustic.

"Starcrash" - I saw it once over the summer and I wanted to die.

The Apple

- Our hero "Alphie" wears tight angel flight pants throughout the movie

- Awful music numbers ('coming', 'speed', 'BIM' -- http://shampoopoo.com/mp3/Misc/apple/ -- only place I could find the sountrack)

- God is perceived as a man named Mr. Topps who drives a golden rolls royce from the sky.

- The villians include a russian guy with a goatee with glitter in it, a black transvestite, a tone-deaf british guy who used to play for opal butterfly and two bald british guys with fangs who wear white suits and white bowties.

- The anti-authoritarian theme ... 'bim marks' and mandatory exercise.

it was the most horrific acting i have ever had the misfortune of seeing in my entire life! and the storyline was just indescribably awful!

Yeah, I'll agree, though not as strongly. M. Night Shyamalan is usually ok, but the Village was, well, not his best.

Yeah, I'll agree, though not as strongly. M. Night Shyamalan is usually ok, but the Village was, well, not his best.

Can you believe I'm geting kicked off my own computer. I'll see you tomorrow Funky Beat. M. Night Shyamalan did a really good job of Cold Creek Manner.

Can you believe I'm geting kicked off my own computer. I'll see you tomorrow Funky Beat. M. Night Shyamalan did a really good job of Cold Creek Manner.

Like I said. Most Shyamalan stuff is interesting, but then there's the Village. So much suspense in the trailer for, really, an anti-climax...

The worst film I've ever seen is The Brain That Wouldn't Die (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052646/), also known as (in its own ending credits) The Head That Wouldn't Die.

Solaris. Oh god it made me rip my eyeballs out with my toes it was so fucking boring. 2.5 hours of NOTHING AT ALL.
Which Solaris are you talking about? The Russian one was awesome. The George Clooney one was pretty dismal, successfully missing the whole point of the original.

it sucked so baaaad :headbang:

it sucked so baaaad :headbang:

I know... And to think my dad made me watch it...

The worst movie I have ever seen is Children of the corn. It was supposed to be a horror movie of some sort, but it was basically just some mildly threatening satanic kids carrying cutlery and possesed by some kind of corn monster.
Extremely weird, spent most of my time laughing at it.

P.S. Starship troopers was a breakthrough in modern filmaking and was the first serious use of "citizen Kane" like flashbacks in modernday. I hated I, Robot because they mashed up a perfectly good novel.

The Steven Speilberg film AI made me want to kill myself by the end