NationStates Jolt Archive

I assumed you were talking about night emissions when you said "fun". Apparently not.

Well it's warm when it comes out [for me anyway] and by the time it's cold it usually isn't that sticky anymore and really only gets to room temp anywhere but I suppose if you live somewhere cold it might not be that way. Cold would suck, I concur.

Trust me, this one works:

Get the single best pornographic movie you can get (the internet comes handy at a time like this). Now - watch it ALL the way through without gratifying yourself. The more you do this, the easier it will become.

Soon, you will be able to resist the temptation.

It works. Trust me.

Please help me rid myself of this habit, whether or not you think I'm crazy for wanting to do so... ;)
Tattoo a picture of your granny on your penis.

If that's too weird, stop watching Star Trek and get a physically demanding hobby. (Hmmm, maybe that would make him want to masturbate more though. Suggestions?)

Out of curiosity, why do you want to stop?

Remove the curtins, place a large poster of Margret Thatcher on your wall and rub deep heat into your palms every now and then.
This is good advice.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a5/Thatcher.jpg

She's definitely a boner-killer.

you'll start to find yourself attracted to Margrat Thatcher...
Impossible.

Please help me rid myself of this habit, whether or not you think I'm crazy for wanting to do so... ;)

Woah, there kiddo. Don't be hasty.

This relationship can still be salvaged.

You and you just need some communication. Maybe some romatic alone time.

I'm sure if you try you can work this out. To your mutual satisfaction.

I've been wondering this for a while: what's with the spaces between the lines Cat? [/threadjack]

I've been wondering this for a while: what's with the spaces between the lines Cat? [/threadjack]

Readability.

Presentation.

EDIT: But, focus, people: we can get these crazy kids back together!

Bullshit
Actually, Trikovia is right, according to most studies.

Yay, some numbers! According to a Belgian magazine (Hail Humo!)
80% of thee men masturbate
40-50% of the women masturbate

I don't know if these are Belgian, European or even worldwide numbers.
I don't remember if this were the exact numbers.
I don't know if the numbers can be trusted.

So why did I post this, one might ask? The answer is simple.

According to the Kinsey Institute 95% of men and 75% of women over 12 masturbate at least once a month.

Get drunk when your drunk it al seems too much like hardwork to me and generally I collapse into bed and can't be bothered till the next day when I try a similar solution.

Get a girlfriend ;)

:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

According to the Kinsey Institute 95% of men and 75% of women over 12 masturbate at least once a month.
Sucks to be a minority.

According to the Kinsey Institute 95% of men and 75% of women over 12 masturbate at least once a month.



some masturbated twice as they read this thread.

I know my husband decided to quit shortly before we met. We waited to have sex until marriage, so he had no 'release' during that time. Don't beat yourself up if you slip up, but it's mostly about where you keep your thoughts. If all you can think about is touching yourself, then you need to redirect those thoughts. You can pray, that helped my husband, or you can pick up a hobby.

Follow nike's advice;

just do it

Have you gone blind? Is hair growing from your knuckles?

Then don't worry masturbation is a healthy way to release tension, sexual or otherwise.

If you or others around you feel extreme guilt about performing this very self fulfilling act then contact your local psychiatrist for immediate help. He may help you dig deep into your inner most fears and cure you of all your mental anguishes.

(this statement is meant to be facitious and in no way be concidered the real feelings of the person making it)

Three step program:

Step one: Cheese grater.

Step two: Wasabi application.

Step three: (TOO GRAPHIC - use imagination)

get a girlfriend or boyfriend. jeez

I'm a teenage male, who only recently started. I don't do it regularly, only when I am struck by an uncontrollably urge to do so.

I am Catholic, and ergo I know this is a disordered behavior, so I want to stop it.

Although to Kerv: Bein' Catholic doesn't automatically make one sexually prudent. At least here in America... Its unfortunate, as the Cathecism in my town basically churns out Catholics who are basically non-denominational protestants who listen to the pope...
As long as you do it with objects, you are ok.So you arn't but oh well.

Take up pedophelia, that seemed to be the solution some of your priests came up with (don't you just love stupid taboos that cause more harm than good?)

Take up pedophelia, that seemed to be the solution some of your priests came up with (don't you just love stupid taboos that cause more harm than good?)
Well score one for necromancy and trolling.

I realise the religious explanation for not masturbating i.e. about not wasting life (on the grounds that your sperm are alive, which they are I guess), but from a non-religious analysis of the Bible as a means of Social Control (I'm an Athiest who happens to agree with Marx about religion - my personal feelings, so I'm not going to lecture at you), why would they have put that in? I mean, I really can't see any relevence to the "spilling the seed" thing being there from a control point of view.

Anyone care to enlighten me?

Well score one for necromancy and trolling.
Just saying there's worse things you could be doing with your dick than masterbating, things perpetrated and silenced by the very organization he wants to stop masterbating for.
I realise the religious explanation for not masturbating i.e. about not wasting life (on the grounds that your sperm are alive, which they are I guess), but from a non-religious analysis of the Bible as a means of Social Control (I'm an Athiest who happens to agree with Marx about religion - my personal feelings, so I'm not going to lecture at you), why would they have put that in? I mean, I really can't see any relevence to the "spilling the seed" thing being there from a control point of view.

Anyone care to enlighten me?
That commonly misinterpreted passage has already been covered in this thread, the "spilling of the seed" was not the sin, disobeying God by not impregnating his dead brother's wife was the sin.

there's a passage from one of the letters Paul wrote to the churches (i skimmed to find it but i couldn't, i do know it's in there though, my dad used it in my birds and bees talk ) that says that it's important to masturbate because otherwise the sexual frustration doesn't get released and you start having lustful thoughts about every person you pass on the street. though, like with everything else, moderation is a good key. if you have a routine, it'll be like any of your other physical needs. eating, bathing, pooping. none of these things are particularly religious in nature, because they are physical in nature, because God put us in physical bodies with various needs. at 14 it's WAY better to masturbate in a controlled setting than to pop boners in the middle of school or going out and getting a girlfriend to impregnate, or being obsessed with sexual thoughts nonstop because there's no way to get it out of your system otherwise. That's what my dad (a minister) told me with backup from the Bible (i really wish i could find that freaking verse..).

I'm a woman, btw.

Oh! Also, I read an article in reader's digest once that documented all the chemicals released by orgasm (not necissarily sex with someone else, just the act of release) and they're mostly painkillers and antidepressants. With the research other people have quoted about having it be very good for your prostrate and future sexual encounters, and also the clarification of the passage most people quote to label it as a sin not actually being the case, i don't think any guilt should be associated with it. don't let people tell you it's a sin and it's bad, because it's not, not even from a biblical standpoint like mine. if you want to stop, like a fast, then that's fine. the trick to that is when you notice the urge, go do something that will keep your hands busy. art or some type of creative craft like woodworking or needlepoint. i know some guys who go out and skateboard, but falling down on it while you're trying to make it not hard anymore doesn't really sound like the best idea to me :P

if you want to stop, like a fast, then that's fine. the trick to that is when you notice the urge, go do something that will keep your hands busy. art or some type of creative craft like woodworking or needlepoint. i know some guys who go out and skateboard, but falling down on it while you're trying to make it not hard anymore doesn't really sound like the best idea to me :P

It's a bit trickier when you've got trouble sleeping. When you're lying in the dark waiting to fall asleep, and suddenly you start thinking about that hot lesbian couple you happen to know, knowing that they're probably having sex right now...

It's not like you can just hop up and start doing needlepoint now is it?

You can always do what the guitarist Head from Korn did. He recently became a born again Christian and he was quoted saying that he got a tattoo of Jesus on the inside of his right hand. Why? To stop himself from masturbating!

there's a passage from one of the letters Paul wrote to the churches (i skimmed to find it but i couldn't, i do know it's in there though, my dad used it in my birds and bees talk ) that says that it's important to masturbate because otherwise the sexual frustration doesn't get released and you start having lustful thoughts about every person you pass on the street. though, like with everything else, moderation is a good key. if you have a routine, it'll be like any of your other physical needs. eating, bathing, pooping. none of these things are particularly religious in nature, because they are physical in nature, because God put us in physical bodies with various needs. at 14 it's WAY better to masturbate in a controlled setting than to pop boners in the middle of school or going out and getting a girlfriend to impregnate, or being obsessed with sexual thoughts nonstop because there's no way to get it out of your system otherwise. That's what my dad (a minister) told me with backup from the Bible (i really wish i could find that freaking verse..).

I'm a woman, btw.

Oh! Also, I read an article in reader's digest once that documented all the chemicals released by orgasm (not necissarily sex with someone else, just the act of release) and they're mostly painkillers and antidepressants. With the research other people have quoted about having it be very good for your prostrate and future sexual encounters, and also the clarification of the passage most people quote to label it as a sin not actually being the case, i don't think any guilt should be associated with it. don't let people tell you it's a sin and it's bad, because it's not, not even from a biblical standpoint like mine. if you want to stop, like a fast, then that's fine. the trick to that is when you notice the urge, go do something that will keep your hands busy. art or some type of creative craft like woodworking or needlepoint. i know some guys who go out and skateboard, but falling down on it while you're trying to make it not hard anymore doesn't really sound like the best idea to me :P
Also gotta love how many Christians don't even understand their own religion (not you, but the people who actually believe the masturbation is sin bullshit, not to mention all the greedy, materialistic Christians out there who buy into American consumerism without realizing that it goes against pretty much everything Jesus taught, and just look at all the denominations, you can twist the bible to advocate just about anything). Why I could never accept the faith, it's been used and abused by way too many hypocrits throughout its history for me to believe it could ever be created by the type of God they claim to believe in. And besides, if Christianity is supposedly a more valid faith than Judeism, then it stands to reason that Islam is a more valid faith than Christianity, and if not, then Judeism is obviously the most valid of the three, either way, Christianity is stuck in the middle as either the first corruption or the second step on that path of religious beliefs...

Please help me rid myself of this habit, whether or not you think I'm crazy for wanting to do so... ;)


Screw with a zillion girls (and perhaps men, and animals) a day. That will surely remove your need to masturbate.

im sorry but WTF?!?!?!? I'm strict christian and i masturbate all the time!!!! i need it to release the pressures of the day. I'm also very into BDSM and know @ least three groups of christians in that scene (one of which is led by a priest!!!). its a natural thing which stops headaches and more!!

Do a heroin and cocaine speedball every time you feel like masturbating. You'll have trouble getting it up after taiking that combination of drugs, and if you overdose you'll never have to worry about temptation again.

Think about the most innocent person you know and eventually you become so disgusted with yourself.....

Flagellate. Flagellate. Flagellate. Repeat until you look like the pictures from the cover of the Passion of the Christ.

Cut your hands off.