NationStates Jolt Archive

Please help me rid myself of this habit, whether or not you think I'm crazy for wanting to do so... ;)

Apply Icy Hot to your hands liberally and frequently throughout the day.

Get radical surgery to become an 'Edward Scissorhands' type of guy.

Male? Female?

Self control...mind over matter...if your religious, I suggest frequent prayer...

Convert to Catholicism, perhaps the idea of hell will scare you out of the habbit.

Become a eunuch.

Unless you're 'gettin' it regular' it's not healthy in the long term to not masturbate. Not saying you need to do it every day-it would take a long time of not 'releasing'. But still...

cut your knob off

Reminds me of the episode of Family Guy "Holy Crap" -- "I know what you're doing in there, and it's a sin! You may think you're alone in there, but God's watching!"

(Francis Griffin lecturing Chris about what he (Francis) thinks is Chris masturbating, but in actuality is just Chris having a healthy bowel movement)

Ew?

Try the five step method:

1.Apply Icy-hot liberally
2.consider wearing enough pairs of undergarments to prevent easy axcess.
3.Wear dirty garden gloves
4.Convert to catholicism or another religion kinda like it.
5.Get a sponsor

I'm a teenage male, who only recently started. I don't do it regularly, only when I am struck by an uncontrollably urge to do so.

I am Catholic, and ergo I know this is a disordered behavior, so I want to stop it.

Although to Kerv: Bein' Catholic doesn't automatically make one sexually prudent. At least here in America... Its unfortunate, as the Cathecism in my town basically churns out Catholics who are basically non-denominational protestants who listen to the pope...

Get someone to tie your hands behind your back before you go to sleep.


Or or or or.. Get lots of sex everyday. You'll be too tired to masturbate.

If your a guy, get it removed. :p
If that is too extreme, you could simply try having as much real sex as possible so that you don't need to. It's all common sense my friend. Lol.

I'm a teenage male, who only recently started. I don't do it regularly, only when I am struck by an uncontrollably urge to do so.

I am Catholic, and ergo I know this is a disordered behavior, so I want to stop it.

Although to Kerv: Bein' Catholic doesn't automatically make one sexually prudent. At least here in America... Its unfortunate, as the Cathecism in my town basically churns out Catholics who are basically non-denominational protestants who listen to the pope...
You've only just started? Then you're in for a difficult time.
Here is my method:
1> Whenever you have the urge to sin against all mighty god, just picture this in your mind
http://www.jimdavidson.org.uk/Assets/Photo%20gallery%20images/sinderella_download_pics/Original-sinders/Dave%20Lee%20as%20Ugly%20Sister%202.JPG
That image is enough to scare the fuck (no pun intended) out of anyone.

Why did you post something like this?

Realizing its sinful is step #1 to stopping.

I'd agree w/ Franco: Prayer is Powerful!

Feel free to PM or TG me if you need anything else...

How about taking up a hobby?

Think of the billions of screaming unborn babies as you masturbate.

The screaming sperms!! Their screaming!!

No, no!! It's a good habit, even for married people. It prevents prostate cancer and rids you of thoughts that would otherwise be present during actual sexual situations! Unless, of course, you want to get ... more... you know... :sniper:

I have a little song you should know..
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.
I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.
You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood!

Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
God needs everybody's.
Mine! And mine! And mine!

Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaate!

I knew someone was going to post that.

I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry...


*sigh* It's your belief system. If you want to restrict yourself then I guess it's ultimately your choice.

Personally, my advice is to keep busy. Taking up a hobby would be a good start.

No, no!! It's a good habit, even for married people. It prevents prostate cancer and rids you of thoughts that would otherwise be present during actual sexual situations! Unless, of course, you want to get ... more... you know... :sniper:
It helps prevent prostate cancer?

I hate who ever posted that picture now i can't even think of doing it.

Realizing its sinful is step #1 to stopping.

I'd agree w/ Franco: Prayer is Powerful!

Feel free to PM or TG me if you need anything else...
Lets look to the good book

Matthew 5:29-30,

"And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell."

There you have it Cardassian Bajor, God wants you to cut off your masturbatin' hand. Its in the Bible.

I hate who ever posted that picture now i can't even think of doing it.
That was me, I told you it would work!!!

this is retarded, if you cant stop then chances are you dont really want to stop

just dont do it, its that simple.

i went to a catholic school and they didnt say there was anything wrong with it anyway.

i did it for a while just to see if i could, and after about a week i just forgot about it and it didnt even cross my mind.

Whenever you want to masturbate, think of Pamela Lee Anderson and Jenna Jameson oiled up in blow-up pool doing it. Think of it until the sensation subsides.

Lets look to the good book

Matthew 5:29-30,

"And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell."

There you have it Cardassian Bajor, God wants you to cut off your masturbatin' hand. Its in the Bible.

If yuo like to take rather metaphorical proverbs//works as literal. ;)

this is retarded, if you cant stop then chances are you dont really want to stop

just dont do it, its that simple.

i went to a catholic school and they didnt say there was anything wrong with it anyway.

i did it for a while just to see if i could, and after about a week i just forgot about it and it didnt even cross my mind.

Sounds like a women or a lier all men do it some more then other but we all do it time to time.

It helps prevent prostate cancer?

Yeppers.

Now if you want to stop I would suggest that you first identify where it is that you usually indulge in this activity and change the enviroment. Remove the curtins, place a large poster of Margret Thatcher on your wall and rub deep heat into your palms every now and then.

Then, next time you get the urge say to yourself, "OK, I am going to wait ten minutes before I decide if I do/do not do this. This time gives you a period to reflect and it might go away on its own, with the help of Margret Thatcher.

Whenever you want to masturbate, think of Pamela Lee Anderson and Jenna Jameson oiled up in blow-up pool doing it. Think of it until the sensation subsides.

Yeah thats works.

i went to a Catholic school and they didnt say there was anything wrong with it anyway.


The Catholic Church is AGAINST the practice of masturbation, whether or not your teachers told you so.

How does it help prevent prostate cancer? I honestly never heard that.

The Catholic Church is AGAINST the practice of masturbation, whether or not your teachers told you so.

I don't see that. it just seems like the logical route if you want to avoid real sex you know with a women.

The Catholic Church is AGAINST the practice of masturbation, whether or not your teachers told you so.
Wasn't the origin of this prohibition that back in the ancient days they thought a man only had a finite amount of sperm in his body and once he used it up he couldn't have children? Thats what I was told, therefore it wouldn't really make sense knowing that is obviously not true?

Wasn't the origin of this prohibition that back in the ancient days they thought a man only had a finite amount of sperm in his body and once he used it up he couldn't have children? Thats what I was told, therefore it wouldn't really make sense knowing that is obviously not true?

Yes does this still apply under Vatican 2

Wasn't the origin of this prohibition that back in the ancient days they thought a man only had a finite amount of sperm in his body and once he used it up he couldn't have children? Thats what I was told, therefore it wouldn't really make sense knowing that is obviously not true?

Don't quote me on this, but as I understand it, at least:

The current rationale is that sex is one of the most sacred actions a human being can engage in, as sex=the creation of life.

Mastubation, or sex for pleasure, or looking at pornagraphy, or any other such things, disrespects that ultimate gift that humans have to imitate GOD (by creating life).

Masturbation isn't a sin, for christ sake. I have my own views on catholisism(however that bloody word is spelt) But for the sake of all things good and fuzzy, do NOT advocate someone going out and getting sex as an alternitive to masturbation. We already have enough teens pregnant, hell, i remember in highschool walking aroudn and seeing pregnant freshmen. Masturbation is a good way to get a little stress out, its not being a heathen, its not a sin. Guess what? the male body produces more sperm than we will ever be able to use.


If your having a problem wanting it to often, just go for it,hell, do it three times a day. Your junk will be so sore the next day you won't even want to look at it, much less touch it.

So until someone can show me where in the bible it says "God came down to Jeff, and said "Thou shall not choke thine chicken", I shall continue to do my thing.

~Dylan

Pancake Mo-Fo.

Sounds like a women or a lier all men do it some more then other but we all do it time to time.
asl

who are basically non-denominational protestants who listen to the pope...
...and WHAT is wrong with being a non-denominational protestant? :mad:

asl

I'm going to get it good. Put my foot in my mouth. 22/male/UK

I shall continue to do my thing.


I'm not trying to convince others to stop, I'm just trying to get MYSELF to stop...

How does it help prevent prostate cancer? I honestly never heard that.

There have been several studies that have found masturbation or sex both are beneficial to the body in that they can help to prevent enlarged prostate syndrome and possibly prevent prostate cancer. These studies usually question men with the disorders Vs men without the disorders. Most research concludes that men who have ejaculations (through masturbation or sex) are less likely to develop prostate problems. The frequency of ejaculations is about 3 to 7+ times per week for the most of the healthy groups. There are no official scientific studies that I can find that give information on men who ejaculate very frequently (14 or more times per week). You can read about one of the older studies (2003) here (http://www.cbc.ca/storyview/AOL/2003/07/17/masturbate030717). This study concludes that men who masturbate or have sex several times per week from ages 20 to 50 are less likely to develop prostate problems. The study seems to put emphasis on men who masturbated or had sex often in their 20s in that they tend to continue with frequent ejaculations throughout their lives.
But if you want to stop masterbating think of Margret Thatcher. Either you'll be cured or you'll start to find yourself attracted to Margrat Thatcher...

The Catholic Church is AGAINST the practice of masturbation, whether or not your teachers told you so.

Thank you, at least someone knows their theology. Being a teenage American guy, I sypathize. Try exercising, avoiding very long periods of isolation. Oh and if you have porn, throw it away. This may be a bit extreme, but if you need, diconect the internet. We must work to give our minds complete control over our bodies, but in reality that takes years. Try manipulating emotion. Is there a particular biblical passage that puts you in a religious state? A particular philosopher that transports you to the realm of the mental? An last of all, never rationalize about it. It is a grave sin, a very common one indeed, but a grave, if not mortal, sin.

good luck man! telegram me for support!

It's not a sin, morons. It's not a grave sin, it's not an unforgivable sin, it's not an original sin, it's not sinful unless you do it to porn. End of statement. If you simply ask God for yourself instead of listen to man, then you would hear the truth.

I've vaguely heard that it helps feritility also.

Since you are Catholic, trying giving it up for Lent (too bad you got a year before it comes again). It also helps if you simulataniously give up looking at porn as well. Also, try putting yourself into situations where you are less likely to masturbate, go out more, have company to entertain at home, or just use the time you might spend masturbating to do something you've never done before: learn something new, read a new book, etc.

Thank you, at least someone knows their theology. Being a teenage American guy, I sypathize. Try exercising, avoiding very long periods of isolation. Oh and if you have porn, throw it away. This may be a bit extreme, but if you need, diconect the internet. We must work to give our minds complete control over our bodies, but in reality that takes years. Try manipulating emotion. Is there a particular biblical passage that puts you in a religious state? A particular philosopher that transports you to the realm of the mental? An last of all, never rationalize about it. It is a grave sin, a very common one indeed, but a grave, if not mortal, sin.

good luck man! telegram me for support!
If it is a sin then everyone here is going straight to Hell.

It's not a sin, morons. It's not a grave sin, it's not an unforgivable sin, it's not an original sin, it's not sinful unless you do it to porn. End of statement. If you simply ask God for yourself instead of listen to man, then you would hear the truth.
It does eleviate boredom, howeevr.

It is a perversion of sexuality! Why do you think we were made sexual beings? For PLEASURE?!? No, to express love, and to bring other people into the world!
This----> :fluffle:
not this-----> :p

It's not a sin, morons. It's not a grave sin, it's not an unforgivable sin, it's not an original sin, it's not sinful unless you do it to porn. End of statement. If you simply ask God for yourself instead of listen to man, then you would hear the truth.

Who cares if its a sin or not, lets please not involve religion. Whatever his reasons, the guy just wants to try to stop it, can't we respect that.

If it is a sin then everyone here is going straight to Hell.


No no, hell is for those who conscioulsy reject God. Besides, who are we to judge.

Who cares if its a sin or not, lets please not involve religion. Whatever his reasons, the guy just wants to try to stop it, can't we respect that.

true true and if he can do it. then more power to him. I'd say stay away from the Porn think of your mom naked(although Margret thatcher would be better) and just get a hobby.

No no, hell is for those who conscioulsy reject God. Besides, who are we to judge.

Not disagreeing, but questioning.:

That's an interesting statement, RELII: But doesn't one consciously reject God through committing sin?

lol, did you know there used to be a whole Protestant sect that castrated themselves for that rason (Albagensianism). They didn't last very many generations... wonder why? :)

It is a perversion of sexuality! Why do you think we were made sexual beings? For PLEASURE?!? No, to express love, and to bring other people into the world!
This----> :fluffle:
not this-----> :p
I agree and disagree. Sex's natural purpose is for breeding, not pleasure, love, emotion, care, or expression of anything, merely for breeding. We humans attached love and pleasure to it. However, if someone wishes to engage in sex other than breeding, and if its mutual, then let them.

I thought of a good start to stop masturbating!
Type with both hands!

true true and if he can do it. then more power to him. I'd say stay away from the Porn think of your mom naked(although Margret thatcher would be better) and just get a hobby.
What is with this obessesion with Maggie Thatcher?

What is with this obessesion with Maggie Thatcher?

doesn't anyone find power sexy.

Not disagreeing, but questioning.:

That's an interesting statement, RELII: But doesn't one consciously reject God through committing sin?


Yes this is true, and I should have been more clear. However "mortal" sin, that which may turn us onto the path wher we reject God to an extent that we can no longer fully receive him requires:
--free will
--grave sin
--knowledge that one is sinning gravely

lol, did you know there used to be a whole Protestant sect that castrated themselves for that rason (Albagensianism). They didn't last very many generations... wonder why? :)

That was a Catholic heretical movement, not a Protestant sect...

The Church condemned castration at the Council of Nicea (AD 325).
Although I don't understand why castrati were considered acceptible, then...

Another good reason why they all died: A crusade was fought against them.

Yes this is true, and I should have been more clear. However "mortal" sin, that which may turn us onto the path wher we reject God to an extent that we can no longer fully receive him requires:
--free will
--grave sin
--knowledge that one is sinning gravely


Ah. Indeed. :D

All is lost, Cardassian Bajor.

I'm afraid your thread has been hijacked, by some wanting a religious squabble.

Yes I know, but if I use the word Catholic in attachment, people tend to get confused. When in doubt, blame the Protestants! :rolleyes:

Yeah, is the guy that asked for help still here?

is any of this helpful man?

lol, did you know there used to be a whole Protestant sect that castrated themselves for that rason (Albagensianism). They didn't last very many generations... wonder why? :)

Nope, not the Albigensians, the Skoptzy were the autocastrating sect. The Albigensians weren't Protestants - they were about a century and a half too early for that moniker.

Come on.

Masturbation teaches you to love and pleasure youself, and then, when you've got someone to share that knowledge with, it makes sex all the better cause you can tell him/her what to do.

Every sex manual on the market will suggest you masturbate when the urge hits, it's good for you in so many ways. Why stop something that gives you pleasure and is healthy?

I'm Catholic too, I think of orgasm as a gift, makes things more fun!

doesn't anyone find power sexy.
But Maggie Thatcher?

Well, maybe he is already content with the replies he has recieved, and is no longer looking for advice.

Grow, little masturbation thread, grow! Soon you shall become big and engorged!

I'm not sure. I just heard my father, who is a PhD theology professor (honest!) talking about it. Perhaps, you're right!

Wasn't the origin of this prohibition that back in the ancient days they thought a man only had a finite amount of sperm in his body and once he used it up he couldn't have children? Thats what I was told, therefore it wouldn't really make sense knowing that is obviously not true?

actually men can fertilise women until they are old and wrinkled most of the time, only when they get oldtimers disease or senile then they will become impentent (unfertile)

Qiision is right!

Whatever gets the kid to stop the habit, be it religion, a hobbie, or Maggie Thatcher, we should probably pursue in this thread...

Grow, little masturbation thread, grow! Soon you shall become big and engorged!
Its already become engorged and will grow on a large part due to its title.

I'm 18 and I've never masturbated. :p

I suggest masturbation to take it off your mind.

In fact, whenever I feel sad, I masturbate. It's like a drug that gives me a high. Everyone should do it even dead people.

Yeah if he's no longer here, I do not see the point of helping him out...

Besides, that poster of maggie is looking... ravishing.. ;)

That was a Catholic heretical movement, not a Protestant sect...

The Church condemned castration at the Council of Nicea (AD 325).
Although I don't understand why castrati were considered acceptible, then...

Another good reason why they all died: A crusade was fought against them.




Ah. Indeed. :D
Did the castration cult have anything to do with these lines from the bible?

Matthew 19:10-12

10
His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
11
But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.
12
For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

I'm 18 and I've never masturbated. :p
I'm sorry, but I have to call bullshit. :eek:

Stop feeling guilty about it. It's normal so you might as well get used to spanking it regularily.

actually men can fertilise women until they are old and wrinkled most of the time, only when they get oldtimers disease or senile then they will become impentent (unfertile)

I know a girl with an 84 year old dad... her poor mother...

I'm not sure. I just heard my father, who is a PhD theology professor (honest!) talking about it. Perhaps, you're right!

Woah Robbie! You were on the Light Side o' da Force before, don't switch! look what that did to Anakin! :P

I'm sorry, but I have to call bullshit. :eek:
It's not THAT unbelievable is it?

I'm 18 and I've never masturbated. :p


Yeah, either you have medical "issues" or you're a chick...

It's not THAT unbelievable is it?
Yes, yes it is.

I'm 18 and I've never masturbated. :p

I know a girl who said the same thing and was proud of the fact. Later she told me she never had an orgasm during sex cause she didn't know how to. How sad...

Woah Robbie! You were on the Light Side o' da Force before, don't switch! look what that did to Anakin! :P


No no, I meant about Albigenianism, not masterbation.

Yeah, either you have medical "issues" or you're a chick...
I'm a girl (don't know what that has to do with it though)

Wasn't the origin of this prohibition that back in the ancient days they thought a man only had a finite amount of sperm in his body and once he used it up he couldn't have children? Thats what I was told, therefore it wouldn't really make sense knowing that is obviously not true?

actually men can fertilise women until they are old and wrinkled most of the time, only when they get oldtimers disease or senile then they will become impentent (unfertile)

A more plausible explanation is the belief, as espoused by Aristotle, that the male plants his seed in the passive soil of the female womb. The woman wasn't really seen as contributing much to conception other than fertile ground, and certainly was not believed to be supplying an ovum.

Thus, under this understanding of reproduction masturbation is just the spilling of seed on barren ground.

Don't quote me on this, but as I understand it, at least:

The current rationale is that sex is one of the most sacred actions a human being can engage in, as sex=the creation of life.

Mastubation, or sex for pleasure, or looking at pornagraphy, or any other such things, disrespects that ultimate gift that humans have to imitate GOD (by creating life).



Sex for pleasure inside of marriage is not only okay, it's biblically sanctioned. Anybody who says otherwise is just spouting Papal dogma that has no foundation in scripture.


Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

(King James Version)

A more plausible explanation is the belief, as espoused by Aristotle, that the male plants his seed in the passive soil of the female womb. The woman wasn't really seen as contributing much to conception other than fertile ground, and certainly was not believed to be supplying an ovum.

Thus, under this understanding of reproduction masturbation is just the spilling of seed on barren ground.


aside from the fact that it is contrary to our nature and purpose, not to mention the divine will!

No no, I meant about Albigenianism, not masterbation.

Ah very good! :D

On another note: The Church is not anti-sex, only anti-disrespect-for-sex.

I'm not sure. I just heard my father, who is a PhD theology professor (honest!) talking about it. Perhaps, you're right!

The Skoptzy were certainly a self-castrating cult. Some of the early third (?) century followers of Origen were also thought to have castrated themselves for the greater glory of God too, but I have never heard about autocastration in connection with the Albigensians.

I know a girl who said the same thing and was proud of the fact. Later she told me she never had an orgasm during sex cause she didn't know how to. How sad...
Everyone knows the female orgasm is a myth.

first shoot of your hands and thats it or you can cut your hands off! :mp5: have fun now! :cool: :sniper: :D :gundge:

Everyone knows the female orgasm is a myth.

My husband would disagree after seeing me hit the ceiling more than a few times... ;)

wear a cicile around your member it'll either keep you from spanking or give you a super freaky fetish for life... or possibly both... or cause scarring and possible infection... but it is very catholic.

Contrary to popular belief, wasting sperm is not a sin, the man in the bible (Onan) killed by God for "wasting his seed" was actually killed for refusing to impregnate his brother's widow.


Genesis 38:4-10 (King James Version)

And she conceived again, and bare a son; and she called his name Onan.

And she yet again conceived, and bare a son; and called his name Shelah: and he was at Chezib, when she bare him.

And Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, whose name was Tamar.

And Er, Judah's firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the LORD; and the LORD slew him.

And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.

And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.

And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.




The thing that he did was to directly disobey the Lord when the Lord told him to go raise up seed via the woman. The wasting of the seed was not the offense, the offense was disobeying God which manifested itself in the form of not using the seed to impregnate the woman as he was ordered. But the wasting of the seed itself was not the act which caused the Lord to slay the man, the man disobeyed him, that is why he was killed.

Sex for pleasure inside of marriage is not only okay, it's biblically sanctioned. Anybody who says otherwise is just spouting Papal dogma that has no foundation in scripture.


Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

(King James Version)

I'm sorry, can't cite the passage, but what about Onan?

He was having sex for pleasure, and was considered 'bad'.

aside from the fact that it is contrary to our nature and purpose, not to mention the divine will!

What is the Catholic doctrine on female masturbation, and when did this doctrine come into being?

I'm sorry, can't cite the passage, but what about Onan?

He was having sex for pleasure, and was considered 'bad'.


See post 99 in this thread, and please read your bible before debating me on it next time. I know bible, do you?

Why in God's name would you want to stop masturbating? It is not a sin against God! Anyone who says so must be insane. Masturbating is a healthy practice, totally clean; there's nothing immoral or unseemly about it.

Perhaps you, having just started, do not realize that it wouldn't really be healthy to avoid masturbating, but it shouldn't be avoided. I mean, c'mon. . . .

LOL a disorder.....ok wow no no no now hahahahaha oh my fing god. No its not a disorder everything masturbates...everything watch discovery channel. OK wehn you see rhino humping a tree [thats the most common thing that gets humped in nature too by all species of animals] hell...fish masturbate for christs sake haha and i dont know ANYWHERE Jesus said masturbating was wrong..and if Jesus didnt say it or it was bad [he said homo's shouldbe priests btw] then its not wrong ^.^

"Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate."

Monty Python anyone?
already been done.

See post 99 in this thread, and please read your bible before debating me on it next time. I know bible, do you?
can i debate you on the bible without reading it, please. i like debating but i can never get past leviticus when i try to read that long dry piece o' crap.

I know bible, do you?

I wasn't debating; just asking a question socratically...

can i debate you on the bible without reading it, please. i like debating but i can never get past leviticus when i try to read that long dry piece o' crap.


We are discussing something from Genesis now (Which comes before Leviticus). And you can't debate bible if you don't know bible. You really ought to read bible so you can understand bible and thus can participate in discussions on bible.

How can you defend bible if you don't know bible?

How can you debate bible if you don't know bible?

We are discussing something from Genesis now (Which comes before Leviticus). And you can't debate bible if you don't know bible. You really ought to read bible so you can understand bible and thus can participate in discussions on bible.

How can you defend bible if you don't know bible?

How can you debate bible if you don't know bible?

Ernst_Rom was not the one who made the statement concerning Onan, I did. See my post just above the one quoted.

hey, from a whole priestess of the goddess of love thing, i've learned that men who masterbate make much better lovers because they last WAY longer. there also not super horny and crawling up the walls to get in your pants.

the church needs to stop touching little boys and start touching themselves. it's good for you dude! just socailly frowned upon by a messed up society.

yawn. I am going to bed for 'sleep'.

Ernst_Rom was not the one who made the statement concerning Onan, I did. See my post just above the one quoted.


Read the one above that, I realize that, do you think I'm dumb? I've been replying to you for the past few posts here, I was replying to his statement about how he only knows up to Leviticus...

Read the one above that, I realize that, do you think I'm dumb? I've been replying to you for the past few posts here, I was replying to his statement about how he only knows up to Leviticus...

No. Only trying to be helpful, I though you thought he was me, is all.

[non-sarcastic concern]Are you getting angry? You seem a little bit miffed. I'm sorry if I've done that to you... [/concern]

I Want To Stop Masturbating...
Why?

Read the one above that, I realize that, do you think I'm dumb? I've been replying to you for the past few posts here, I was replying to his statement about how he only knows up to Leviticus...

well i've seen several movies on it, and heard stuff second hand, i think i might have read revelations once and some of mark or maybe matthew. also i read roger zelazny's a "rose for ecclesiastes" which does reference ecclesiastes. and "brother to dragons" by charles sheffield which takes its name from a passage in job. how much more familiar with this drek do i need to be?

Masturbation isn't a sin, for christ sake. I have my own views on catholisism(however that bloody word is spelt) But for the sake of all things good and fuzzy, do NOT advocate someone going out and getting sex as an alternitive to masturbation. We already have enough teens pregnant, hell, i remember in highschool walking aroudn and seeing pregnant freshmen. Masturbation is a good way to get a little stress out, its not being a heathen, its not a sin. Guess what? the male body produces more sperm than we will ever be able to use.


If your having a problem wanting it to often, just go for it,hell, do it three times a day. Your junk will be so sore the next day you won't even want to look at it, much less touch it.

So until someone can show me where in the bible it says "God came down to Jeff, and said "Thou shall not choke thine chicken", I shall continue to do my thing.

~Dylan

Pancake Mo-Fo.

A perfect example of when a Catholic only listens to his religion's practices when they are convenient.

My advice to the dude who has problems with quitting masturbation, I suggest you just keep yourself occupied enough to where you don't think about sex.

I think I'm going to bed now...

G'night all!

First off, if you're a guy and you havn't spanked it a few times, you just ain't normal. Having said that though, (outside of the spilling on the ground passage which most people take out of context) masterbation in and of itself is not directly sinful.
However,(unless you're just really sexually, uh, how to say this politely, warped) you are probably beating it to the mental image of some person with whom you would like to enjoy the act of sex with. That falls under the catagory of lust and is slightly sinful when taken in a biblical context.
The real question, is do you really want to quit? Physical pleasure and the endorphins that are released during and after make a powerful combination. (and yes, icy hot would work in the short term, right up until you began to enjoy the pain)
As has been said, somewhere in here before, you have to control your mind, before you can begin to control your body. The problem is not the fact that you jack off. The problem is that you have begun to see woman as objects. Porn, tight butts, nice anatomies, whatever you're looking at no longer is a person, ie; person with feelings, and emotions, and thoughts. They are a thing, nice looking thing, but a thing nonetheless.
PyschoAnalysis: Do you find it difficult to look at a persons eyes when you talk to them? Do you find yourself turning around to see if they look as good from the rear view as they did from the front? Can you say the word Breast without looking down and smurking?(There is a longer list, but I'm getting bored)
Woman are not objects, no matter how they are portrayed in todays society. I don't really care if you quit beating yourself off or not, personally, but I do know that you will never control your body until you control how you think of other people.

Sleeping in close-quarters with others helps...

Sleeping in close-quarters with others helps...

especially if you are having frequent sex with them.

You know, the sure fine way to stop masturbating for any sex is..........

*drum roll*

The lovely invention of the chasity belt. Now made for males. And if you want to stop for good, hand me the keys. You'll NEVER see them again.

*evil grin*

You know, the sure fine way to stop masturbating for any sex is..........

*drum roll*

The lovely invention of the chasity belt. Now made for males. And if you want to stop for good, hand me the keys. You'll NEVER see them again.

*evil grin*

How exactly would the male chastity belt work?

How exactly would the male chastity belt work?

Is it battery operated? I wouldn't trust anything that plugs into a socket.

Hmmm. I googled for Mail Chastitiy belt. All I get was leather and bdsm sites.

And by the looks of it, I don'tthink you'd be able to fit it down your pants while you go to school/work.

How exactly would the male chastity belt work?

Let's use you for an example to show. Of course, I keep the keys.

:P

Goodness, this thread is so...big and so...dominant. I mean, I've seen bigger, but, you know, not at the moment...

How exactly would the male chastity belt work?
that's why i suggested the cicile around the male member.

How exactly would the male chastity belt work?

It should be a belt, with a big tube, and an outlet for you to pee.

I don't think it'll be very hygenic after a while though.

Let's use you for an example to show. Of course, I keep the keys.

:P

I don't think I like that idea....

It should be a belt, with a big tube, and an outlet for you to pee.

I don't think it'll be very hygenic after a while though.


Well, if the penis falls off due to disease, problem solved, right? No need to worry about masturbation if he does not have a penis?

It should be a belt, with a big tube, and an outlet for you to pee.

Well, you know, all you'd have to do is cap the end and attach some sort of vacuum device and you'd have a perfectly good...

Wait, I'm not helping, am I?

I don't think I like that idea....

Why? *cough* I would never throw away the keys or anything. *cough* Or through them into a volcano. *cough*

Don't you trust me.......

*evil grin*

:D

Why? *cough* I would never throw away the keys or anything. *cough* Or through them into a volcano. *cough*

Don't you trust me.......

*evil grin*

:D

Why are you so intent on locking up my penis?

Why are you so intent on locking up my penis?

Because most men think with their penises too much sometimes. And it's funny just to see you at the mercy of me. Now bow down! MY IRON FIST WILL CRUSH YOU!

Because most men think with their penises too much sometimes. And it's funny just to see you at the mercy of me. Now bow down! MY IRON FIST WILL CRUSH YOU!

That sounds kind of hot.

Erm, stop masturbating? Can't you, y'know just....stop? It's not like you don't have control of your hands or anything.

Erm, stop masturbating? Can't you, y'know just....stop? It's not like you don't have control of your hands or anything.

Cut off your hands then!

:P

My boyfriend is going through this right now as well, and he seems to do better with an accountability group. He and his best male friends basically check up on each other and see if they're still doing what's right. So not only does he let himself down, he lets his friends down too, if he gives in to his hormones.

Being a girl, I don't have a whole lot of advice, since the urge is much different. But don't let these people fool you. Obviously, you've been convicted by something in order to come to this conclusion, so don't let anything hinder you. Lots of prayer, study, and just talking to God can help a lot when in doubt. Masturbation may be a release, but think about your future wife... You'll already have been 'handled', so to speak. And by your own self. It's kind of disgusting. Pitiful, if you want me to be harsh.

Sex is for marriage. It is the most wonderful gift you can give to someone, and is saved for your true love. Masturbation is self-sex, and well, it seems desperate to a Christian girl.

However, all obstacles can be overcome.

:D Stay strong.

umm, just poke yourself with a pin everytime you want to jerk. Down there.
Nothing wrong with jerking as long as its no more than once a day (twice ok once a week) and it is on your back, and with a 'tube' grip (think about how you would hold a sword) rather than a 'brandy snifter' one. (fingers making a cup.)

That sounds kind of hot.

Renedevous at four, my place. I'll make gumbo or chili. I'll show you hot!

:P

Sorry, crabs not included.

You know, the idea of a bunch of guys calling each other on the phone and asking "Yo, Dude, have you touched yourself? Cause I haven't and I just wanted to know if you have," seems far dirtier than anything else in this thread so far. Since when did straight men become so interested in what other straight men are doing with their penises?

Please help me rid myself of this habit, whether or not you think I'm crazy for wanting to do so... ;)

As the late Pope John Paul II said

Stop it or you will go blind! :)

You know, the idea of a bunch of guys calling each other on the phone and asking "Yo, Dude, have you touched yourself? Cause I haven't and I just wanted to know if you have," seems far dirtier than anything else in this thread so far. Since when did straight men become so interested in what other straight men are doing with their penises?

Interesting observation. But why do straight men constantly have to compare themselves if they are not interested in each other's penises?

You know, the idea of a bunch of guys calling each other on the phone and asking "Yo, Dude, have you touched yourself? Cause I haven't and I just wanted to know if you have," seems far dirtier than anything else in this thread so far. Since when did straight men become so interested in what other straight men are doing with their penises?

Are you so unsure of your sexuality that you can't joke about this sort of thing?

It does seem a little deperate, but hey i wont judge. Although i think that the icy-hot is a good idea as long as you can document the reaction a freind told me about a time that he got icy-hot on his penis it was incredibly funny well not to him. But its your choice

Being a girl, I don't have a whole lot of advice, since the urge is much different. But don't let these people fool you. Obviously, you've been convicted by something in order to come to this conclusion, so don't let anything hinder you. Lots of prayer, study, and just talking to God can help a lot when in doubt. Masturbation may be a release, but think about your future wife... You'll already have been 'handled', so to speak. And by your own self. It's kind of disgusting. Pitiful, if you want me to be harsh.
Whats better, to be pitiful, or to get prostate cancer?
Sex is for marriage. It is the most wonderful gift you can give to someone, and is saved for your true love. Masturbation is self-sex, and well, it seems desperate to a Christian girl.Masterbation is sex with someone you love.(Unless you are suicidal)However, all obstacles can be overcome.
:D Stay strong.
If you want to. If after seven days of cold-turkey, you don't have a wet dream, you may have problems.

You need some help... mental help.

Well, you know, all you'd have to do is cap the end and attach some sort of vacuum device and you'd have a perfectly good...

Wait, I'm not helping, am I?

Then we should have holes at the sides to equalize the pressure. So that the happy man don't get it's blood flowing.

Unless you start getting creative and closing them up. Damn the temptations of the flesh!

Masterbation is sex with someone you love.(Unless you are suicidal)

Hey, if you want it done right, you need to do it yourself.

;)

Whats IcyHot?

You need some help... mental help.

Which one of us?

:D

You know, the idea of a bunch of guys calling each other on the phone and asking "Yo, Dude, have you touched yourself? Cause I haven't and I just wanted to know if you have," seems far dirtier than anything else in this thread so far. Since when did straight men become so interested in what other straight men are doing with their penises?

*rolls eyes* It's called morals, and depending on your friends. And that's not how it's done. Geez, you'd think people would have sympathy, but they always have to crack jokes because of unsolved personal problems.

Erm, stop masturbating? Can't you, y'know just....stop? It's not like you don't have control of your hands or anything.

*Takes hands off penis to type on keyboard*

No we can't... We're all helpless to our primal urges.. *Stuffs burger down mouth*

*washes hands*

Whats IcyHot?

Are you kidding?

Are you kidding?

I'm quite curious about that myself. Are those things for muscle aches where you rub it on your hand or leg?

I'm quite curious about that myself. Are those things for muscle aches where you rub it on your hand or leg?

Yes.

I'm quite curious about that myself. Are those things for muscle aches where you rub it on your hand or leg?

Yes.

*rolls eyes* It's called morals, and depending on your friends. And that's not how it's done. Geez, you'd think people would have sympathy, but they always have to crack jokes because of unsolved personal problems.

Nonsense, I don't have any unsolved personal problems. I also don't need a support group for my penis. It just seems there's far too much thought going into this. If you don't want to masturbate, then don't. The body will decide when it thinks you've got too much sperm and get rid of it while you're sleeping. But forming a calling circle to discuss touching yourself sounds like the beginning of amature gay porn.

By the way, I can forget very obvious things. I knew that....

By the way, I can forget very obvious things. I knew that....

I hear you. Blame it on me.......I kill brain cells!

:P

Nonsense, I don't have any unsolved personal problems. I also don't need a support group for my penis. It just seems there's far too much thought going into this. If you don't want to masturbate, then don't. The body will decide when it thinks you've got too much sperm and get rid of it while you're sleeping. But forming a calling circle to discuss touching yourself sounds like the beginning of amature gay porn.

Asking if you masturbated is no where close to making a gay porn. I cannot see any correlation.

Nonsense, I don't have any unsolved personal problems. I also don't need a support group for my penis. It just seems there's far too much thought going into this. If you don't want to masturbate, then don't. The body will decide when it thinks you've got too much sperm and get rid of it while you're sleeping. But forming a calling circle to discuss touching yourself sounds like the beginning of amature gay porn.

Your point is true...the first one. But it's immature for you to suggest such a thing when you don't know what an accountability group is. It's no different than keeping your best friend from killing herself with anorexia. Perhaps not as life threatening, but you get the picture. If it's important to the guy, then help him, don't poke fun.

I hear you. Blame it on me.......I kill brain cells!

:P

Are you that sneaky marijuana I've been hearing all about recently?

Asking if you masturbated is no where close to making a gay porn. I cannot see any correlation.

That's why I said "beginning".

Are you that sneaky marijuana I've been hearing all about recently?

No, just a mysterious white powder that does wonders to your brain!

:D

Christian Guys(1) Gone Wild.
1 - make the letter U look almost like an A.

Christian Guys(1) Gone Wild.
1 - make the letter U look almost like an A.

Why are you people so cruel?

No, just a mysterious white powder that does wonders to your brain!

:D
I tried to snort coke, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

Asking if you masturbated is no where close to making a gay porn. I cannot see any correlation.
Although, you gotta admit, the people who are getting the most out of masturbation are really self-confident gay people...



Okay, I'll go now...

Yes this is true, and I should have been more clear. However "mortal" sin, that which may turn us onto the path wher we reject God to an extent that we can no longer fully receive him requires:
--free will
--grave sin
--knowledge that one is sinning gravely

You people are retarded. A sin is a sin is a sin. There is no level of "sinage". Scripture backing:

Jas 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.

Jas 2:11 For he that said, Do not commit adultery, said also, Do not kill. Now if thou commit no adultery, yet if thou kill, thou art become a transgressor of the law.

Is masturbation a sin? This subject seems to come with much arguement, probably because pro-masturbators have little self-control. Lust is always a sin, that's something a lot of people seem to not understand. All sex out of marriage is a sin and masturbation is sex: The sexual urge or instinct as it manifests itself in behavior.

Sin: Deliberate disobedience to the known will of God.
A condition of estrangement from God resulting from such disobedience.
Something regarded as being shameful, deplorable, or utterly wrong.

Why are you people so cruel?
Becuase we always look on the bright side of life.
Now that was a messiah that I could identify with.

Your point is true...the first one. But it's immature for you to suggest such a thing when you don't know what an accountability group is. It's no different than keeping your best friend from killing herself with anorexia. Perhaps not as life threatening, but you get the picture. If it's important to the guy, then help him, don't poke fun.

Of course it's immature. We're in a thread talking about masturbation and male chastity belts on a public message board infamous for it's inherantly snarky nature. If you want compassion, go elsewhere. I'm sure there are plenty of boards out there with all sorts of help, hints and tips on how not to accidentally touch yourself to the point of climax.

And, for the record, anorexia and and masturbation are not even in the same ballpark. One's perfectly natural and the other is a serious mental illness.

Aiii.. Time to cut off my hand.

Becuase we always look on the bright side of life.
Now that was a messiah that I could identify with.

Mmm...yes. Let's lie so we're happy. :p

That outlook works till you get hit by a Guinness truck.

I tried to snort coke, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

Oh, you were taught wrong sweetie, see, you've got to ask for no ice next time.

*shakes head*

Our poor future generation......who's teaches these guys? I'm going to whip some sense into your mentor.

You people are retarded. A sin is a sin is a sin. There is no level of "sinage". Scripture backing:

Jas 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.

Jas 2:11 For he that said, Do not commit adultery, said also, Do not kill. Now if thou commit no adultery, yet if thou kill, thou art become a transgressor of the law.

Is masturbation a sin? This subject seems to come with much arguement, probably because pro-masturbators have little self-control. Lust is always a sin, that's something a lot of people seem to not understand. All sex out of marriage is a sin and masturbation is sex: The sexual urge or instinct as it manifests itself in behavior.

Sin: Deliberate disobedience to the known will of God.
A condition of estrangement from God resulting from such disobedience.
Something regarded as being shameful, deplorable, or utterly wrong.

So I'm assuming you don't dig on shellfish?

And how do you explain wet dreams? Can one sin while one's asleep?

Although, you gotta admit, the people who are getting the most out of masturbation are really self-confident gay people...



Okay, I'll go now...


Yes, RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!*

*(Monty Python and The Holy Grail)

Aiii.. Time to cut off my hand.

Both hands. No cheating.

Mmm...yes. Let's lie so we're happy. :p

That outlook works till you get hit by a Guinness truck.

You know, not to stray off topic, but one could make that exact same argument for the whole of religion...

you've got to ask for no ice next time.
This is why i need you guys.

Both hands. No cheating.

And don't forget that chastity belt! I've got the keys, no worries, your safe from not masturbating with us!

:D

This is quite possibly the most disturbing forum thread I've ever visited...

This is why i need you guys.

We're here to help. Got to teach the next generation the right way!

Der Fuhrer Dyszel......corrupting the minds of innocent, since.....well, since ever! :P

This is quite possibly the most disturbing forum thread I've ever visited...


Quite an interesting one I would think.

:P

Where else are you going to learn how to stop masturbating?

Puritan drivel. Do what you want and don't let the bastards grind you down.

Everyone knows the female orgasm is a myth.

Uh, no it's not. It's very real, and very pleasurable. :fluffle:

Where else are you going to learn how to stop masturbating?

The most obvious solution to such a problem that I can see is to simply watch any television program which deals with politics. That'd get a randy dog out of the mood, let alone a human.

The most obvious solution to such a problem that I can see is to simply watch any television program which deals with politics. That'd get a randy dog out of the mood, let alone a human.

But see, I would have needed a thread to tell me that. I wouldn't have ever thought that myself.

Keep in mind, I'm a RP'er.......we're strange people. *gasps*

Personally, I think we are more likely to attract some S&M'ers who will jerk off to Sdaeriji's posts regarding the vaccum stuff.

So I'm assuming you don't dig on shellfish?

And how do you explain wet dreams? Can one sin while one's asleep?

Yes you can because that is part of one's conscience. If you had kept your thoughts pure then Satan cannot tempt one who's spiritual armor is intact. I'm not saying I am perfect, but praying before bedtime will rid one of one's impure thoughts especially when one calls upon the good Lord to rid one of one's unholy thoughts.

But see, I would have needed a thread to tell me that. I wouldn't have ever thought that myself.

Keep in mind, I'm a RP'er.......we're strange people. *gasps*

I don't see why. You only need to see this guy once to figure it out:

http://www.iisd.ca/csd/csd9/pix/4uk2.jpg

The most obvious solution to such a problem that I can see is to simply watch any television program which deals with politics. That'd get a randy dog out of the mood, let alone a human.

I don't know. If teh segsay Ann Coulter is on, I might be in trouble. Something about bile-spewing, hateful, poorly informed white trash whispering an Aryan manifesto into my ear with billowing clouds of Nicorete-scented soul-ugliness just gets me hawt!

well, you could try taking some form of medication, make up some emiotional problems and get some depression meds, that prevents your body from craving the endorphin release that an orgaism gives you.
If you are able to stop without chemical help your body will try to compensate with nighttime ejaculations. One way or another your body is going to do it, I presonally prefer the bathroom to my bedsheets. Just a personal cleanlyness thing. Just remember when you lay with yourself you need wash yourself in a river, and will be unclean until sunrise.

I don't see why. You only need to see this guy once to figure it out:

http://www.iisd.ca/csd/csd9/pix/4uk2.jpg

OH MY GOODNESS! THE HORROR! *blinded* Man, that would turn anyone away from masturbation.

Sdaeriji is cool. :cool:

well, you could try taking some form of medication, make up some emiotional problems and get some depression meds, that prevents your body from craving the endorphin release that an orgaism gives you.
If you are able to stop without chemical help your body will try to compensate with nighttime ejaculations. One way or another your body is going to do it, I presonally prefer the bathroom to my bedsheets. Just a personal cleanlyness thing. Just remember when you lay with yourself you need wash yourself in a river, and will be unclean until sunrise.


It's called Prozac.

My fiance was on that.......let's say, a sex drive didn't exist then.

Sdaeriji is cool. :cool:

And amazing! And lovable! And huggable!

Why can't he be for sale? Oh, let's auction him off! You in?

OH MY GOODNESS! THE HORROR! *blinded* Man, that would turn anyone away from masturbation.

Tell me about it. I've been impotent since 1997. I was 12 in 1997 :(. Either myself or Prescott is going to be dying soon...

Yes you can because that is part of one's conscience. If you had kept your thoughts pure then Satan cannot tempt one who's spiritual armor is intact. I'm not saying I am perfect, but praying before bedtime will rid one of one's impure thoughts especially when one calls upon the good Lord to rid one of one's unholy thoughts.

Well, actually, no, dreams are not part of one's conciousness. Also, one doesn't need to explicitly dream to experience a nocturnal emission. Seems like that ones a "no harm, no foul" to me.

And, before anyone goes and gets the wrong idea, I'm very religious myself and also pray before bedtime as well as several times during the day. I just don't think God cares one way or the other regarding my wandering hands. To paraphrase Chris Griffin: God's watching me masturbate? Oh man, I'm a sinner and God's a pervert.

To paraphrase Chris Griffin: God's watching me masturbate? Oh man, I'm a sinner and God's a pervert.

I love that show. Oh my, it cracks me up. But I rarely get to watch it.

If it counts for anything, my dreams are a LOT more vivid on nights when I don't masturbate, generally.

To paraphrase Chris Griffin: God's watching me masturbate? Oh man, I'm a sinner and God's a pervert.
Correction: Chris Griffin: "God's watching me do number two? Oh man, I'm a sinner. God's a pervert!"

Correction: Chris Griffin: "God's watching me do number two? Oh man, I'm a sinner. God's a pervert!"
how would crapping make you a sinner?

Please help me rid myself of this habit, whether or not you think I'm crazy for wanting to do so... ;)

Why do you idiots need to make threads like this?

If you really need help, just post a poster of Janet Reno or Rosie O'Donnel on your ceiling. That oughta work.

Why do you idiots need to make threads like this?
read what you just said. Is it clear now?

read what you just said. Is it clear now?

Very :rolleyes:

how would crapping make you a sinner?
Chris was taking a crap in the bathroom and it was taking really long. His grandfather who is a Christian fundamentalist scolded him saying something along the lines of "I know what you're doing in there and God can you see you doing it! You're going to hell you sinner!". Then Chris said to himself, "God's watching me do number two? I'm a sinner. God's a pervert!". Understand?

Why do you idiots need to make threads like this?

If you really need help, just post a poster of Janet Reno or Rosie O'Donnel on your ceiling. That oughta work.


Why do you need to flame someone else? It's all a thread in good fun. NS lost it's "fun" aspect.

Why do you need to flame someone else? It's all a thread in good fun. NS lost it's "fun" aspect.

If this is considered "fun," then let me trump that: would you want to see my dick?

If this is considered "fun," then let me ask you: would you want to see my dick?
Well that depends... :p

I don't know...I mean, how much is really too much, you know? If it's more than 5 times a day, then maybe you should consider counselling to see why you feel compelled to do this that much?

If this is considered "fun," then let me trump that: would you want to see my dick?

Do you want ME to answer that? This thread is not about seeing people's penises. Just about stopping people from masturbating.

:D

I'm a teenage male, who only recently started. I don't do it regularly, only when I am struck by an uncontrollably urge to do so.

Define regularly and your average time between incidents.

If the threadstarter's serious, let me ask: do you really expect honest answers on a board about board-gaming? See a therapist if it really bothers you.

Play video games or sports or something that totally distracts you from the urges when they arise. Eventually the feeling will subside.

You also will want to aviod anything that might insight said urges.

Just sitting there trying to will away the feeling isn't likely to work. Idle hands are the Devil's playground, as they say.

But if it was't for that, we couldn't have had so much fun. And now I am really going to bed.

If the threadstarter's serious, let me ask: do you really expect honest answers on a board about board-gaming? See a therapist if it really bothers you.

I doubt he's serious. I just think it's all in good fun.

Jeez i don't see y u wanna stop
Its perfectly healthy and normal
And it keeps the little guy standing up stragiht when hes meant to
I go a good 3-4 times a day and I'm healthy as ever
These catholics are all crazy

The Damnarsian']Jeez i don't see y u wanna stop
Its perfectly healthy and normal
And it keeps the little guy standing up stragiht when hes meant to
I go a good 3-4 times a day and I'm healthy as ever
These catholics are all crazy

I know that if I had a penis, I would so be masturbating all the time too! That's half the fun of being a man!

:D

I know that if I had a penis, I would so be masturbating all the time too! That's half the fun of being a man!

:D
Heh, I'd never want a penis. It would be odd.

Heh, I'd never want a penis. It would be odd.

Yeah but you get used to it.

or maybe he's just a TMT (Troubled Masturbating Teenager).

I do not understand this struggle. This thread goes nowhere and mo(i)stly will take the threadstarter nowhere if he really was asking for an opinion to unknown people on the web (I think he asked here instead of asking directly to someone he knows, to avoid -in real life- interests about his sins).
Yes, you poor little sinner..the shame's already on you. Soon the needs will urge into more consequential debauchery and everybody who could look at you when you walk in the street would easily reckon that the shadows under your eyes are due to too much work.
Don't waste your young strenghts, use them differently. Improve yourself playing music (guitar is the best) that people like, soon you will gain points with little grrrls (and never forget to use condoms); Work and take home some money; be worthy of respect. This all will be a benefit for you.
oh, no, i just got caught like a fish giving you free-easy-dummy speeches..what the F**k, it's your problem!
:upyours:

Yeah but you get used to it.
Although, I would like to experience a boner :D

<Snip>

You were going very well, why did you ruin everything in the last line by acting like a jerk? Sheesh.

Although, I would like to experience a boner

Care to trade packages for a day? ;)

I guarantee you that the product you will receive has never malfunctioned or been sloppy while on duty. It also has an impressive track record. :p

I know that if I had a penis, I would so be masturbating all the time too! That's half the fun of being a man!

:D
More like 90 percent.

if you feel bad masterbating yourself,then have someone else do it for you. simple. most catholic girls are secretly naughty.




(catholics are so funny!)

More like 90 percent.

So true. Honestly, as a woman, I must say, penises are fun. Lucky guys! You don't know how lucky you have it........periods and pregnancy......that says enough.

So true. Honestly, as a woman, I must say, penises are fun. Lucky guys! You don't know how lucky you have it........periods and pregnancy......that says enough.
Thats why all women should get depo provera shots... All you have to do is get a shot every 3 months and you have a zero percent chance of getting pregnant and you don't have periods. It is the greatest form of birth control ever created, although some people experience nasty side affects.

Thats why all women should get depo provera shots... All you have to do is get a shot every 3 months and you have a zero percent chance of getting pregnant and you don't have periods. It is the greatest form of birth control ever created, although some people experience nasty side affects.

my friend had that for a bit... she menstruated constantly for about four months.

my friend had that for a bit... she menstruated constantly for about four months.
Yeah unfortunantly it seems to affect different women differently. My girlfriend and her two best friends swear it is the greatest thing ever--if it works right you never have a period, and never have to worry like with the pill about forgeting to take it.

Thats why all women should get depo provera shots... All you have to do is get a shot every 3 months and you have a zero percent chance of getting pregnant and you don't have periods. It is the greatest form of birth control ever created, although some people experience nasty side affects.

And it makes fat. Women on it gain weight a lot of the time. It's one of the side-effects. I've looked into it.

Yeah unfortunantly it seems to affect different women differently. My girlfriend and her two best friends swear it is the greatest thing ever--if it works right you never have a period, and never have to worry like with the pill about forgeting to take it.

I prefer the patch. Once a week you have to remember. It's more my style. And I haven't had any complications on it yet, well, except nausia when I begin a new cycle. However, that beats the hell I went through before. I'll take mild nausia over what I went through any day.

Please help me rid myself of this habit, whether or not you think I'm crazy for wanting to do so... ;)
Sex.

Ah man...sixteen pages, and now it's over? I think I might cry. Oh man, I never laughed so hard in my life. This thread is funny as all hell. It was just what I needed after a long long LONG night at work. Especially whoever posted that horrendous picture and whoever had to stop because of it! Oh man that was funnny! and the first page! with ten differant ridiculous suggestions...oh man. I feel sorry for the guy who started this thread, but this is just hilarious. Especially when it started talking about Catholics.

Wow... a lot of religous zealots here, eh? :p

I cannot honestly understand why so many people abide by a belief system so vehemetly.

For one, the Catholic church really is just a political organization. Religion is, and probably always will be, a useful political tool.

I'd like to ask a question and hopefully get some responses from the religous community at large.



God tells me I must remove my clothing. It is a direct order from the all powerful being. I tell God, "No, I don't think I need to do that."

What would God's response be?

{By the way, to demonstrate just how powerful a religion can be upon your mind, try speaking or even yelling out loud for God to strike you down where you stand. Many people have a great inhibition against saying such a thing. Interesting, isn't it?}

Did Anyone Think Of Just Getting A Second Issue A Day Might Keep Him Busy :)

Did Anyone Think Of Just Getting A Second Issue A Day Might Keep Him Busy :)

Why did you capitilse the first letter in every word?

On topic, I want to START masturbating but there are people around and I have work to do :(

You might as well masturbate because if you don't you'll just regularly cream your pants in your sleep.

You might as well masturbate because if you don't you'll just regularly cream your pants in your sleep.

That can be fun too.

I'm a teenage male, who only recently started. I don't do it regularly, only when I am struck by an uncontrollably urge to do so.

I am Catholic, and ergo I know this is a disordered behavior, so I want to stop it.

Although to Kerv: Bein' Catholic doesn't automatically make one sexually prudent. At least here in America... Its unfortunate, as the Cathecism in my town basically churns out Catholics who are basically non-denominational protestants who listen to the pope...

I know it it strange when youve just started, but youll get used to that and why should it be a sin?

That can be fun too.
No it's not, when you wake up it's entirely too cold and sticky.

Which one of us?

:D

The kid that originally posted this crap-ass thread! :P

No it's not, when you wake up it's entirely too cold and sticky.

COLD? WTF?!

Please help me rid myself of this habit, whether or not you think I'm crazy for wanting to do so... ;)

drill a hole in your wall (do your thingy) i dont tink that counts as masturbating? or alt.2 quit yor god damn forsaken f*cking religion

COLD? WTF?!I assumed you were talking about night emissions when you said "fun". Apparently not.

Don't do it

You might as well masturbate because if you don't you'll just regularly cream your pants in your sleep.
Bullshit

Yay, some numbers! According to a Belgian magazine (Hail Humo!)
80% of thee men masturbate
40-50% of the women masturbate

I don't know if these are Belgian, European or even worldwide numbers.
I don't remember if this were the exact numbers.
I don't know if the numbers can be trusted.

So why did I post this, one might ask? The answer is simple.

The answer is simple.
Like poster, like post

Like poster, like post
Bullshit

Bullshit
:p thief