NationStates Jolt Archive

Yup ... a very wise 18 yer old kid on a message board. :)
Aw. Thanks! I just call it as I see it though, I swear. :)

well I will use the guy I currently fancy as an example. He is clever, quite good looking and nice to people but he can also take the piss out of people and knows what he thinks. And he also plays hockey which does the agressive alpha male thing for me, so its good all round. Oh yeah he also plays the volin really well which is nice but not really important.

An intelligent, kind, sweet, funny, good looking guy. He doesn't have to be the hottest, but he can't be butt-ugly. Someone who respects me and my opinions, who isn't condescending. Someone with common intrests and opinions, but not identical.

TPE:
NS is being a prat and won't load, so I can't check my TGs. And I have to go sleep now (12:50am here >.<) becaues I have far, far too much work to do tomorrow morning. 'll get back to you tomorrow night-ish though.

Just thought I'd make sure you don't end up thinking I'm ignoring you or anything daft like that :p
thanks. :)

Honesty works for me; in my relationship she tends to save alot of things, left unsaid.One should actually care for what feelings your mate is holding up. I reckon it´s impossible to aprehend how another person think and loves, but as long one is oriented to give the "illusion" of caring, honestly, it´s a good relationship plus.

What do women look in men? I could not say; juvenile affairs tend to be, in my opinion, orientated by 'looks', but in my experience, this things just happen, or not.

Not all of the cheerleader types were shallow and hurtful. I remember quite a few them fondly (no, not in that way, TPE). And I've seen some of them since (I'm 30) and the look quite good.
What way? :confused:

a penis.. *nod* women want men with boy parts
....

You're spending waaaaaaay too much time with The Chocolate Goddess... *nods*

:p

TPE, we've talked about this before. I want someone who has balls, damnit! I won't want a wallflower. I am no wallflower, shy at times, sure, but no wallflower, and I don't want to be the bulldozer in the relationship. i want a partnership. If i have to mother you and baby you, then forget it. it has nothing to do with muscles, or money, or looks. All my exs were stick figures!!! And nerdy!!!

So, sorry to burst your self-effacing bubble there. IMO, you need to rethink your position.
1. self-affacing? what's that? and what"s "IMO" mean anyway? :confused:

2. rethink my position?

I really could have just as easily been in the "females are superficial and want he-men" group. I just had a horrible experience.

I'd talked with this girl - a friend of a very close friend - for days and days, many hours each time. It was amazing how much we had in common, and how much we enjoyed talking to each other. She'd already seen what I look like, and she even thought I was hot. How lucky, I thought. Someone who admires me on the intellectual and emotional level AND finds me attractive.

So we finally met in person after she came down with a couple of friends (one guy and one girl). She barely speaks to me the whole time, and then she doesn't even sit in the same row as me in the movie theatre. Later, after two days of dodging my attempts to talk to her, she flat out tells me she finds me unattractive. Her entire attitude toward me had changed completely after seeing me in person. Any personal connection we'd had totally disintegrated. She had been the first person I could talk to on so many different levels, and this totally devastated me.

I'm young and I don't have much relationship experience, so I took it (and still take it) very hard. I questioned myself. I felt uncomfortable within my own skin because she said I was unattractive and I truly thought myself ugly in every way. To be honest, I still do, to a high degree. I'd never felt that way before she'd cut me down. Of course my friends tell me I look fine, but I find it hard to believe. No one's ever given me an honest answer before.

I really could have just as easily been in the "females are superficial and want he-men" group. I just had a horrible experience.

I'd talked with this girl - a friend of a very close friend - for days and days, many hours each time. It was amazing how much we had in common, and how much we enjoyed talking to each other. She'd already seen what I look like, and she even thought I was hot. How lucky, I thought. Someone who admires me on the intellectual and emotional level AND finds me attractive.

So we finally met in person after she came down with a couple of friends (one guy and one girl). She barely speaks to me the whole time, and then she doesn't even sit in the same row as me in the movie theatre. Later, after two days of dodging my attempts to talk to her, she flat out tells me she finds me unattractive. Her entire attitude toward me had changed completely after seeing me in person. Any personal connection we'd had totally disintegrated. She had been the first person I could talk to on so many different levels, and this totally devastated me.

I'm young and I don't have much relationship experience, so I took it (and still take it) very hard. I questioned myself. I felt uncomfortable within my own skin because she said I was unattractive and I truly thought myself ugly in every way. To be honest, I still do, to a high degree. I'd never felt that way before she'd cut me down. Of course my friends tell me I look fine, but I find it hard to believe. No one's ever given me an honest answer before.
Damn man. that sucks :(

Damn man. that sucks :(
Yeah, there are definitely way better experiences one could go through, especially since I'd already had some issues fighting off physical insecurity.

Yeah, there are definitely way better experiences one could go through, especially since I'd already had some issues fighting off physical insecurity.
That's true.

I really could have just as easily been in the "females are superficial and want he-men" group. I just had a horrible experience.

I'd talked with this girl - a friend of a very close friend - for days and days, many hours each time. It was amazing how much we had in common, and how much we enjoyed talking to each other. She'd already seen what I look like, and she even thought I was hot. How lucky, I thought. Someone who admires me on the intellectual and emotional level AND finds me attractive.

So we finally met in person after she came down with a couple of friends (one guy and one girl). She barely speaks to me the whole time, and then she doesn't even sit in the same row as me in the movie theatre. Later, after two days of dodging my attempts to talk to her, she flat out tells me she finds me unattractive. Her entire attitude toward me had changed completely after seeing me in person. Any personal connection we'd had totally disintegrated. She had been the first person I could talk to on so many different levels, and this totally devastated me.

I'm young and I don't have much relationship experience, so I took it (and still take it) very hard. I questioned myself. I felt uncomfortable within my own skin because she said I was unattractive and I truly thought myself ugly in every way. To be honest, I still do, to a high degree. I'd never felt that way before she'd cut me down. Of course my friends tell me I look fine, but I find it hard to believe. No one's ever given me an honest answer before.
oh darlin', its not you

its an effect of her unconsciously building you up in her mind into something that no one could possibly live up to. it happens all the time with net or phone relationships.

its a psychological thing that has very little to do with YOU. next time you form a long distance relationship with someone you havent met face to face remember that its best to not let it go so long before meeting each other. that way no one builds up an unrealistic image of what the other person is. these kinds of relationships can work out, but you have to be very careful and do things the right way.

oh darlin', its not you

its an effect of her unconsciously building you up in her mind into something that no one could possibly live up to. it happens all the time with net or phone relationships.

its a psychological thing that has very little to do with YOU. next time you form a long distance relationship with someone you havent met face to face remember that its best to not let it go so long before meeting each other. that way no one builds up an unrealistic image of what the other person is. these kinds of relationships can work out, but you have to be very careful and do things the right way.
That makes an amazing amount of sense. Thank you. :)

I really could have just as easily been in the "females are superficial and want he-men" group. I just had a horrible experience.

I'd talked with this girl - a friend of a very close friend - for days and days, many hours each time. It was amazing how much we had in common, and how much we enjoyed talking to each other. She'd already seen what I look like, and she even thought I was hot. How lucky, I thought. Someone who admires me on the intellectual and emotional level AND finds me attractive.

So we finally met in person after she came down with a couple of friends (one guy and one girl). She barely speaks to me the whole time, and then she doesn't even sit in the same row as me in the movie theatre. Later, after two days of dodging my attempts to talk to her, she flat out tells me she finds me unattractive. Her entire attitude toward me had changed completely after seeing me in person. Any personal connection we'd had totally disintegrated. She had been the first person I could talk to on so many different levels, and this totally devastated me.

I'm young and I don't have much relationship experience, so I took it (and still take it) very hard. I questioned myself. I felt uncomfortable within my own skin because she said I was unattractive and I truly thought myself ugly in every way. To be honest, I still do, to a high degree. I'd never felt that way before she'd cut me down. Of course my friends tell me I look fine, but I find it hard to believe. No one's ever given me an honest answer before. please don't let what she did question yourself. The EXACT same thing happened to my brother, and for a long, long, time he felt depressed and unsure of himself. Now, he's better and is getting married, so someone will come along, sometimes it just takes longer than we'd like. Keep your chin up.

please don't let what she did question yourself. The EXACT same thing happened to my brother, and for a long, long, time he felt depressed and unsure of himself. Now, he's better and is getting married, so someone will come along, sometimes it just takes longer than we'd like. Keep your chin up.
longer than we'd like? hmm....

*prepares to hibernate for the next 300 billion years* :D lol

Yes. Having seen quite a few naked women, I tend to see the ones at strip joints as women at work. It's their job to sit around and be naked. So why should I treat them any different than any other person at work?

Besides - it's not like I'm going to really have any chance to have sex with her. So no point in getting worked up.

LMAO...some of us military / ex-military think so much alike, it's almost scary. Look what Basic does to a man...

please don't let what she did question yourself. The EXACT same thing happened to my brother, and for a long, long, time he felt depressed and unsure of himself. Now, he's better and is getting married, so someone will come along, sometimes it just takes longer than we'd like. Keep your chin up.

It's alright. I'll brood over it for about three weeks before shaking it off and moving on. I mean, I'm only 18 so I know I have a long road of repeatedly meeting the wrong person before I meet the right one. I'm really an eternal optimist in spite of the occasional troubling episode.

edit: and ... in spite of the fact that two more people just said i was kind of unattractive about 20 minutes ago. >_<

1. self-affacing? what's that? and what"s "IMO" mean anyway? :confused:

2. rethink my position?

IMO = in my opinion ;)

IMO = in my opinion ;)
thanks :)

It's alright. I'll brood over it for about three weeks before shaking it off and moving on. I mean, I'm only 18 so I know I have a long road of repeatedly meeting the wrong person before I meet the right one. I'm really an eternal optimist in spite of the occasional troubling episode.

edit: and ... in spite of the fact that two more people just said i was kind of unattractive about 20 minutes ago. >_<

Hah. Don't let it get to you. I've been picked on my whole life (sight problem among other things). I don't let it get to me.

Hah. Don't let it get to you. I've been picked on my whole life (sight problem among other things). I don't let it get to me.

Good for you! I admire people who can move on from stuff like that cos I so can't. All sorts get to me & then get me down & I carry stupid amounts of mental/emotional baggage around with me :(

Man, there seem to be a lot of these threads around nowadays.

He (Commie Catholics) just copied my thread!!! And he's got more replies than mine, too! Bah, the injustice of it all... it's suffocating...

Good for you! I admire people who can move on from stuff like that cos I so can't. All sorts get to me & then get me down & I carry stupid amounts of mental/emotional baggage around with me :(
Aww.... :(

*pets*

Aww.... :(

*pets*

*purrs* :)

*purrs* :)
:)

I have depression, admittedly I am currently out of my worst period, but its still there. I don't think most people realise that depression doesn't go away. You can improve but the disease seems to stay, underneath, like a basis for your life after that. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to go back. I am happy being myself. Admittedly there are a few of my really close friends who would jokingly tell me to get back into my unsure shell and stop picking on them but overall they think its great that I am happy.

The point of this is actually that I don't have a g/f. I have actually found that I don't need a girl to find myself attractive. I read one comment about even small amounts of exercise helping with depression, that was no joke, I can testify to that. When I just get down to programming for days on end its hard to tell yourself to get out just because you know you will get depressed if you don't get out and do something. When you are in the groove its just hard.

I guess its the same with my social life though, although I don't have much of one I tend to go out and at least talk to someone for a while when I am on the edge of introversion/extroversion ... snob/social freak... etc. stages. There are girls out there, and although I am not the type to just go up to any girl and talk to them its kind of surprising how many naturally come up to you and get talking when you just look satisfied with life, lacking either bastardom or desperado type stuff. Just get out there and have some fun is all I can say.


Sorry about posting to a thread that looks like it has died a comfortable death... but i thought this was still appropriate :)

--

Economic Left/Right: -5.63
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: 0.00

There are too many idiots to become worried over... :-/

I notice this everytime...

It's the same kinda guys who complain about not being able to meet women.

Most of those guys are the self proclaimed "nice guys". And most of the time, they aren't that nice. They say they are, but secretly want booty as much as the "jerk". They put the woman up on a pedestal and believe in the merits of strategy and submissiveness to get the girl. You aren't impressing anyone by catering to them. They will think less of you. They know what you are after, but you will not say it outright. Do you think your inability to confront someone with attraction looks good? Nope. And they WILL use you. Do yourself a favor and be true to yourself and those around you.

Trust me, there are millions of people around the world getting laid or married as you read this. Most of them are no more attractive or "better" than you. Difference is they know how to go about it.

Keep these pointers in mind:

1) Women are no "better" then men. A relationship is a partnership, not worship.

2) Do yourself a favor, and find out what you want. If you want sex, then go after someone you find attractive enough for the act. If you want a relationship, find someone with common interests. And drop any preconceived "fantasies". That is all they are, and most people's don't come true. But that doesn't mean you can't meet a fantastic person who is very close. I see too many guys that are happy to pursue anything with two X chromosomes using any means possible not knowing that the haven't even paid attention to where things would end up, because they are so desparate.

3) Go out of your league at your own risk. I see a lot of guys complain because they can't have the pretty cheerleader. A lot of them are out of shape, ungroomed, or in some way not quite in the same level of attractiveness. Don't get mad because she's judging you by your looks. By chasing after someone who is attractive based on that merit alone you subject yourself to the same scrutiny. You're setting yourself up for a world of hurt if you can't compete with the kind of people she can normally "get". There's nothing wrong with trying, but expect the expectable.

4) If you want a mate, get out there and look for her. Even if you are using online dating services at least that's an effort. You'll NEVER get anywhere doing nothing, except NOTHING.

5) You WILL get rejected, and it happens to even the most attractive people. It sucks but there are tons of other people you can meet. When you pile up unrealistic expectations on a person, when they turn you down, you make it unnecessarily hard on yourself. Take it in stride and move on.

That's a realistic approach in that it encourages you to go after what you want, and if someone turns you down, screw em. But don't be someone's doormat.

I really could have just as easily been in the "females are superficial and want he-men" group. I just had a horrible experience.

I'd talked with this girl - a friend of a very close friend - for days and days, many hours each time. It was amazing how much we had in common, and how much we enjoyed talking to each other. She'd already seen what I look like, and she even thought I was hot. How lucky, I thought. Someone who admires me on the intellectual and emotional level AND finds me attractive.

So we finally met in person after she came down with a couple of friends (one guy and one girl). She barely speaks to me the whole time, and then she doesn't even sit in the same row as me in the movie theatre. Later, after two days of dodging my attempts to talk to her, she flat out tells me she finds me unattractive. Her entire attitude toward me had changed completely after seeing me in person. Any personal connection we'd had totally disintegrated. She had been the first person I could talk to on so many different levels, and this totally devastated me.

I'm young and I don't have much relationship experience, so I took it (and still take it) very hard. I questioned myself. I felt uncomfortable within my own skin because she said I was unattractive and I truly thought myself ugly in every way. To be honest, I still do, to a high degree. I'd never felt that way before she'd cut me down. Of course my friends tell me I look fine, but I find it hard to believe. No one's ever given me an honest answer before.

Not all women are bitches, but this one... definitely is. I agree with what most of the other people here said, but I want to add that in. You sound like someone with a good head on your shoulders, so you should setting your sights on someone less shallow than this chick.

I have depression, admittedly I am currently out of my worst period, but its still there. I don't think most people realise that depression doesn't go away. You can improve but the disease seems to stay, underneath, like a basis for your life after that. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to go back. I am happy being myself. Admittedly there are a few of my really close friends who would jokingly tell me to get back into my unsure shell and stop picking on them but overall they think its great that I am happy.

The point of this is actually that I don't have a g/f. I have actually found that I don't need a girl to find myself attractive. I read one comment about even small amounts of exercise helping with depression, that was no joke, I can testify to that. When I just get down to programming for days on end its hard to tell yourself to get out just because you know you will get depressed if you don't get out and do something. When you are in the groove its just hard.

I guess its the same with my social life though, although I don't have much of one I tend to go out and at least talk to someone for a while when I am on the edge of introversion/extroversion ... snob/social freak... etc. stages. There are girls out there, and although I am not the type to just go up to any girl and talk to them its kind of surprising how many naturally come up to you and get talking when you just look satisfied with life, lacking either bastardom or desperado type stuff. Just get out there and have some fun is all I can say.


Sorry about posting to a thread that looks like it has died a comfortable death... but i thought this was still appropriate :)


That was me! It is hard to get out there and start doing things once you get stuck in the rut, lose hope and are totally drained physically and emotionally but I found that it boosts your energy doing more things and generally it's a good thing all round.

I agree with all you've said and can relate to a lot of it too.

I know what you mean about depression never really going away. It sometimes feels like a constant battle to stop it coming back. I've found that personally it's easier to fight each time and you learn how to stop it before you sink into it really badly. Some small things that would have made me feel utterly awful I can now brush off. Moods that would have stuck for weeks I can now lift myself out of in a few hours. I'm glad it's at least better than it used to be. Keep up the good work! :)

Not all women are bitches, but this one... definitely is. I agree with what most of the other people here said, but I want to add that in. You sound like someone with a good head on your shoulders, so you should setting your sights on someone less shallow than this chick.

I'm definitely certain that not all women are bitches. Many of my friends are female and they're absolutely delightful human beings in every way.

4) If you want a mate, get out there and look for her. Even if you are using online dating services at least that's an effort. You'll NEVER get anywhere doing nothing, except NOTHING.
.
This is the only point I disagree with. I dont look, I have no desire to look. But that doesnt mean I wont find anything ever. Looking comes across as desperate far too often to be an effective method of finding.

In my experience the girls go for the loud, tattoed, heavy drinking, good looking (?) guy who owes all the other guys money.
Bullshit...I dont owe mone to anyone.

actually I owe money to my Dad...but thats it.

men shouldn't be worrying in what women like in them. as long as you're sanitary and not always shying away in a corner, it doesn't matter. as corny as it sounds, you should be yourself. if they don't like you for you than they obviously aren't right for you.

Porn and flaming?

Nah.. I dont like flaming. Just porn.

A relationship is a partnership, not worship.


So true. Putting someone on a pedestal = bad news. You just make it easier for them to kick you. And, as I've been the one doing the kicking on more than one occasion, I can assure you I know what I'm talking about

Dude if you enlistited in the military how come you post like a liberal pussy ass.

The fact that he was in the military does not mean that he automatically must become an asshole. :rolleyes:

So...let's think about this my naive little friend. You're 44 and on Nation States. It sounds to me like you're still the pimple-faced introverted nerd. If you DID in fact join the infantry, I bet you were a cook, a pimple-faced introverted nerd/cook with a physique of a manatee. If I knew you when you came back from the infantry on your ego trip, I would have kicked your ass in front of your overly obese wives. Let's be honest here, shall we? You're some loser 44 year old with a hard-on for lying just to make yourself feel a few inches longer than you actually are. And if you really want to know what a man is like...ask for a picture of me.
http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/lachen/laughing-smiley-003.gif
That was the funniest reply I have ever seen. Here are the reasons why:

1. You do not know the guy but immediately claim that he's lieing.
2. You go as low as to insulting his wives in a way that is very similar to a 13 years-old screaming "I did yo momma!"
3. You throw in a wide array of personal insults without having any backing for them.
4. You call yourself the prototype of a man. Come on. Lay down the testosterone, look in the mirror, realize where you are (Hint: The Internet) and listen to this Finnish proverb: "Self-flattery stinks."

Now go away and come back when you can behave like a civilized adult.

You're flat out wrong man. It's about how you approach them. {Snip}
When you meet a girl, dont be so worried about dating her. Just, meet her. Be willing to get to know her - i.e. show interest in her, not in dating her. There's a difference...

I totally agree with this. As a rule i usually turn down the guys who's first words to me are to ask me out. I mean they've got nothing to base their interests on at that point except looks. I'm much more open to the guy who actually tries to have a decent conversation first. It counts for alot.

After marrying someone who isn't a good example of a man (I wish I knew this before I married him) I can tell you what I think... hopefully it matters. :p :D

Honesty. Faithfullness. Good sense of humor.
Emotionally Stable. Financialy Stable. Honor.

Those things, are things that I would look for in a man. :)

I totally agree with this. As a rule i usually turn down the guys who's first words to me are to ask me out. I mean they've got nothing to base their interests on at that point except looks. I'm much more open to the guy who actually tries to have a decent conversation first. It counts for alot.

LOL...the funny thing about this is that I don't even bother initiating meeting someone new. I've grown weary of having to continually jump-start the small talk, so...when I go out to the bar / club (for instance) I usually wind up just sitting around, hanging out with my friends, waiting for the ladies to walk over and talk to me.... Of course, I'm told I'm intimidating - not sure if that's because I dont approach girls, or they dont approach me because I have an aura of intimidation...

*shrug*

LOL...the funny thing about this is that I don't even bother initiating meeting someone new. I've grown weary of having to continually jump-start the small talk, so...when I go out to the bar / club (for instance) I usually wind up just sitting around, hanging out with my friends, waiting for the ladies to walk over and talk to me.... Of course, I'm told I'm intimidating - not sure if that's because I dont approach girls, or they dont approach me because I have an aura of intimidation...

*shrug*

*waves*

Hi Neut ;)

*waves*

Hi Neut ;)

Hey there Iki..tiok...

(I was gonna shorten your name to Iki, but then I realized that sounded to close to Icky...and that's just not cool...lol)

I totally agree with this. As a rule i usually turn down the guys who's first words to me are to ask me out. I mean they've got nothing to base their interests on at that point except looks. I'm much more open to the guy who actually tries to have a decent conversation first. It counts for alot.

Yup, I'm a guy, but I think that getting to know a person is inherently more important than "could I go out with you?"

I personally think that people owe it to themselves to get to know the people they're interested in. Not the least to find their quirks (which is always interesting) and what they like.

People can be very interesting....

Hey there Iki..tiok...

(I was gonna shorten your name to Iki, but then I realized that sounded to close to Icky...and that's just not cool...lol)

I read it Ike-E

Hey there Iki..tiok...

(I was gonna shorten your name to Iki, but then I realized that sounded to close to Icky...and that's just not cool...lol)

lol! It's bad, isn't it? But Iki is fine :)

I read it Ike-E

That's the damn problem with all these names on the net - no idea of the pronounciation...

Phonetically (sp?) I'm Ik-ee-tee-ock

Does that help?

Phonetically (sp?) I'm Ik-ee-tee-ock

Does that help?

Well, then, we can't shorten it to Ik-ee. Neut, you were right.

That's the damn problem with all these names on the net - no idea of the pronounciation...

Hence why mine's so simple...

Actually there's more to it.

The only other advice I could give is dont worry about all the steps to asking someone out, just get started and when you are ready for the next step you will follow through for fear of embarassment. Hell everyone is afraid of walkign up to the opposite sex, its a matter of now you did it are you going to pony up and follow through or not.

lol...it's been so long since I've actually asked a woman out on a date... I will say that a good conversation can easily lead to the question... At the end of the conversation (for whatever reason it ends - usually someone has to leave), it's not hard to throw the "I really enjoyed our conversation, maybe you'd like to get together and hang out some time?" bit out there... (and, guys, PLEASE, dont just use that line - make it your own).


Of course, taking my advice isnt quite as simple as using my lines - it's not necessarily what you say, it's more how you say it. I've used some...interesting...pickup lines (and yes, cheesy ones too) successfully.

I questioned myself. I felt uncomfortable within my own skin because she said I was unattractive and I truly thought myself ugly in every way. To be honest, I still do, to a high degree. I'd never felt that way before she'd cut me down. Of course my friends tell me I look fine, but I find it hard to believe. No one's ever given me an honest answer before.
Your friends are probably right. You should not feel this way because one girl thinks this way. Her opinion is hers only, it's not truth or fact. She is only one person, nothing more, and your opinion of yourself is vastly more important than hers.

Ps. Ashmoria is right, too.

Putting someone on a pedestal = bad news. You just make it easier for them to kick you. And, as I've been the one doing the kicking on more than one occasion, I can assure you I know what I'm talking about
Are you speaking literally?

I am definatly not...
You ARE Neo-Tommunism, aren't you!

Being only 16, I can't really claim to have a lot of expertise in this field. However, here are some ideas I've either read or concluded from personal experience.

- Statistically speaking, women would like a guy to be roughly 1.09 times taller than they. I guess this is a bit of a "show-off factor". Women often use high-heel shoes at formal events and since it's for cultural reasons considered embarrassing that a man is shorter than his partner, it's good for a woman to have a partner who is taller than her.

- About the embarrassment factor, here comes the often mentioned confidence. If a man is constantly insecure and whines about everything he embarrasses both himself and his partner. Of course, confidence is not the same thing as overconfidence. Women like men who can also take a blow if they have to, instead of avoiding responsibility and constantly blaming on others.

- According to surveys, women pay surprisingly little attention to big chest muscles and abs. They look more at face, hands, and legs.

- Sense of humour does not mean that you are good at telling jokes. It's that you can point out the funny things in life, including yourself. Taking oneself too seriously is one of the worst things a man can do.

- Although opposites attract in many cases, musical preferences must be at least somewhat aligned. Something as simple as fighting over what music you shall play on a car trip can be very deteoriating for a relationship.

- And last but not least: the faster you fall in love, the faster you fall out of it. Knowing your partner is everything in a relationship. Therefore you should give a relationship time to develop. The best ones usually start as a random casual conversation. This is because you probably share a common interest in something you are doing at that moment. If you just walk up to a woman and start hitting on her, she'll most likely find you creepy. (Of course, bars and night clubs are exceptions, but pick-up lines are still more likely than not doomed to fail.) If you get to know her well before you engage yourself in a relationship, you will more likely end up in a working relationship. The flip-side of the coin is that it may result in the dreaded "Let's just be friends"-line, but don't let that disencourage you.

And I've found this rule of thumb useful: The less make-up a girl wears, the more sincere and the less shallow she is. This does not seem to apply to goth girls and please keep in mind, it's not a universal truth. I'm only pointing out my observation.

If a man wants to attract a woman the instinctive thing to do is to appear strong, confident and emotianally stable. Since survival of the fittest no longer applies to civilised society, flexing your muscles will rarely attract the opposite sex. This is why women are so confusing to men. We don't know what women look for anymore. What do you look for?

Survival of the fittest is still in effect. It has evolved as we have evolved. It is no longer who can bonk the biggest animal to drag back to the cave. However, it is still very important that we understand the primitive instincts will always be with us.
Flexing muscles may not be the most attractive attribute a man can offer these days, it is still in the mix (in a very updated way). Women still do want physical and emotional strength. Confidence is one of the most important.

I don't know what I look for, but I have been on enough dates to know what I don't want. I am sick of guys that talk about themselves all of the time. I have dated both men and women, and although both do it, men do it more. It is atrocious.