NationStates Jolt Archive

I'm attempting to dump my boyfriend, don't really want to go into the reasons but I can assure you they're all perfectly reasonable reasons but he won't leave me alone! he keeps coming up with excuses and now he's made me cry, what does it take for a guy to realise he's being dumped?!

I'm attempting to dump my boyfriend, don't really want to go into the reasons but I can assure you they're all perfectly reasonable reasons but he won't leave me alone! he keeps coming up with excuses and now he's made me cry, what does it take for a guy to realise he's being dumped?!

a temporary restraining order should do it... if he has any sense.

if he doesn't have any sense and he's rabid for you, talk to Whispering Legs... he might be able to set you up.

Take his wallet and keys and kick him out after that

I'm attempting to dump my boyfriend, don't really want to go into the reasons but I can assure you they're all perfectly reasonable reasons but he won't leave me alone! he keeps coming up with excuses and now he's made me cry, what does it take for a guy to realise he's being dumped?!

well if you've tried letting him down easy just give him the :upyours: and tell him to f*ck off as he's obviously a prick

Meh, wouldn't know anything that would work on psycho lovemaniac me.

You've tried direct and obvious statements, and if those haven't worked, resort to extreme measures. Now these measures are up to you. Restraining order if you feel it's sufficient, or whatever. I don't know, I don't think like this punk.

Personally, I don't have a very high opinion of this fellow. If I found myself dumped, I'd just say, "alright, that sucks, but I can live with it. It's her choice after all." No self-respecting guy will harass someone over this sort of thing.

Ignore your hygiene altogether. No showers, no shaving, no deoderant.

Ignore your hygiene altogether. No showers, no shaving, no deoderant.
That doesn't work.....


<.<
>.>
<.<

I'm attempting to dump my boyfriend, don't really want to go into the reasons but I can assure you they're all perfectly reasonable reasons but he won't leave me alone! he keeps coming up with excuses and now he's made me cry, what does it take for a guy to realise he's being dumped?!



Semi-automatic weapons?

I'm so tempted to say 'for fuck's sake leave me alone!' and I hardly ever feel like that! I think I just found the big down side to dating nice guys, they're so much more difficult to dump, jerks just call you a stupid fat bitch and you never see them again, I think I prefer that

Semi-automatic weapons?
well that would soon change his mind about thinking it cool that I can use a gun....................

Sometimes you just have to be a little brutal.

Now you say hes made you cry? Use that against him, it was his own actions that caused it anyway - so he can live with it. If hes really not getting the point, then you need to make it clearer - sometimes you have to play dirty.

Say you're pregnant.

May I suggest threatening to call the police. Its very simple, tell him not to go near your property or you'll get the cops to make sure, whenever he calls just cut him off, say "you're dumped, deal with it" and hang up. Block his email.

Say you're pregnant.
we havn't had sex yet and he knows I havn't been seeing anyone for months

May I suggest threatening to call the police. Its very simple, tell him not to go near your property or you'll get the cops to make sure, whenever he calls just cut him off, say "you're dumped, deal with it" and hang up. Block his email.
but that's so mean

May I suggest threatening to call the police. Its very simple, tell him not to go near your property or you'll get the cops to make sure, whenever he calls just cut him off, say "you're dumped, deal with it" and hang up. Block his email.

You sound rather expert on the subject Sancta.

[Kidding :p]

Start fighting. If he's really such a nice guy....well......

Hell. It's just good to relieve you of your stress

say you're really a man

Or you could tell him that youre actually a penguin alien from the planet Zontar, Im sure acting insane would do the trick. Though this may have negative impact on future dating if you have any mutual friends.

You've tried direct and obvious statementsThis can mean "no, I'm washing my hair tonight." Women mean this as "I don't like you," men see it as "I'm trying to dominate you." Thus, the man responds by showing that they can force a woman to be miserable AND stick around. This is the only reasonable response, since it's what they believe the woman is trying to do to them.

If you've actually told him something that he wouldn't have to be psychic to figure out you're trying to dump him, though, then you have a problem. I'd suggest having him stalked by a large homosexual until he's afraid to leave his house.

say you're really a man
he'd never believe that

You sound rather expert on the subject Sancta.

[Kidding :p]
Mate, if you know me, you'd know I'm far from the expert on dumping girls/being dumped..... I never get as far as asking them out/being asked out!

he'd never believe that

then say you're a lesbian

I'm attempting to dump my boyfriend, don't really want to go into the reasons but I can assure you they're all perfectly reasonable reasons but he won't leave me alone! he keeps coming up with excuses and now he's made me cry, what does it take for a guy to realise he's being dumped?!
Run. Away. Seriously. You let them hang around, and next thing you know, they've undumped themselves and you can't figure out why you're wearing that wedding ring...

Ignore your hygiene altogether. No showers, no shaving, no deoderant.
guys like that.

Is he also in NationStates and possibly in these forums? If so he may have seen this thread. If not, then do you know any of his friends? Sometimes it helps if you have others trying to help him face reality as well.

Mate, if you know me, you'd know I'm far from the expert on dumping girls/being dumped..... I never get as far as asking them out/being asked out!

One of the many ways we are alike my friend.

Maybe he dosent want to be dumped maybe he thinks its sweet between you two.
But its good to see your coming after me arent you?!
Coughyouareiamyourmasterthesearenotthedruidsyouarelookingforcough

tell him to come over,and make sure you are giving another guy a blow job when he gets there. works everytime.

Run. Away. Seriously. You let them hang around, and next thing you know, they've undumped themselves and you can't figure out why you're wearing that wedding ring...
no way! he's freaked me out enough with the whole 'I love you' thing, I wouldn't marry him!

then say you're a lesbian
Thats only going to turn him on. Dont be silly.

One of the many ways we are alike my friend.
so you didnt take my advice then.

I'm attempting to dump my boyfriend, don't really want to go into the reasons but I can assure you they're all perfectly reasonable reasons but he won't leave me alone! he keeps coming up with excuses and now he's made me cry, what does it take for a guy to realise he's being dumped?!
If you have been honest and polite about it, try lying. I've found that if you tell them that they gave you the clap or crabs and that you're going to let everyone know about it that they tend to leave. If that doesn't work, have sex w/ his bestfriend and tell the kid how much better his friend was.

Well there is always the ultimate weapon: honesty.

Is he also in NationStates and possibly in these forums? If so he may have seen this thread. If not, then do you know any of his friends? Sometimes it helps if you have others trying to help him face reality as well.
do you honestly think I would post this if he was on NS?! and no, I don't know any of his friends

tell him to come over,and make sure you are giving another guy a blow job when he gets there. works everytime.
really. and make sure the new guy is older, and stronger. and beats the crap out of him. actually, you can just get a good male friend to simulate the whole scene, if you really dont feel like whoring yourself out.

If you have been honest and polite about it, try lying. I've found that if you tell them that they gave you the clap or crabs and that you're going to let everyone know about it that they tend to leave. If that doesn't work, have sex w/ his bestfriend and tell the kid how much better his friend was.
his best friend is a girl!

his best friend is a girl!
Your point? :p

so you didnt take my advice then.

*flinches under impact*

I tried ok! I'll try harder next time, gradual = cool!

*Runs like the dickens*

really. and make sure the new guy is older, and stronger. and beats the crap out of him. actually, you can just get a good male friend to simulate the whole scene, if you really dont feel like whoring yourself out.
he lives ages away though! it could be 3 weeks before he can afford to come see me!

well then you could say that you're a necrophiliac and say that he's of no use to you alive

his best friend is a girl!
Brilliant, mixing two suggestions in one, the lesbian one and the best friend one!

well then you could say that you're a necrophiliac and say that he's of no use to you alive
he might kill himself though

he might kill himself though
Well that'll definitely solve your problems!

his best friend is a girl!
Strap-ons don't get tired.

hey tink. quit making excuses for this fuck face. dont answer his calls. stand up for yourself, and be an adult. no means no. and if you cant let a long distance boyfriend know that, then what are you going to do when some asshole that lives near you tries to manipulate you? NOW CUT THE SHIT. :)

I'm attempting to dump my boyfriend, don't really want to go into the reasons but I can assure you they're all perfectly reasonable reasons but he won't leave me alone! he keeps coming up with excuses and now he's made me cry, what does it take for a guy to realise he's being dumped?!

What exactly have you told him so far? If he's a "nice guy" as you say, then telling him, firmly but kindly, that it's over, should be enough. We men aren't good at hints, you know; we need plainly stated facts. If you only drop hints, he may just try to interpret each one in a different way. I would assume he'd only understand if you told him explicitly. As I said, you can do that without being unkind.

If that doesn't work, have you got a (male) friend who would agree to pretend to be going out with you, in a way this boyfriend would know about? If you don't feel uncomfortable with that, that is?

I know a hit man, contact me for more information... lol. ahhh Bob the hitman, he solves everyones problems, except the problem of the life sentence. but he'll bump off the judge for extra.

*flinches under impact*

I tried ok! I'll try harder next time, gradual = cool!

*Runs like the dickens*
Occidio, Wwa is desperate for an answer to this post, hopefully one that ends up with him getting crucified. (I think it turns him on :eek: )

Occidio, Wwa is desperate for an answer to this post, hopefully one that ends up with him getting crucified. (I think it turns him on :eek: )

Damn I hate you.

What exactly have you told him so far? If he's a "nice guy" as you say, then telling him, firmly but kindly, that it's over, should be enough. We men aren't good at hints, you know; we need plainly stated facts. If you only drop hints, he may just try to interpret each one in a different way. I would assume he'd only understand if you told him explicitly. As I said, you can do that without being unkind.

If that doesn't work, have you got a (male) friend who would agree to pretend to be going out with you, in a way this boyfriend would know about? If you don't feel uncomfortable with that, that is?
i said that it wasn't working out and I couldn't be with someone so far away, that it freaked me out because he was moving way too fast and I don't feel the same way about him as he does about me, how is it not obvious enough?!

I'm so tempted to say 'for fuck's sake leave me alone!' and I hardly ever feel like that! I think I just found the big down side to dating nice guys, they're so much more difficult to dump, jerks just call you a stupid fat bitch and you never see them again, I think I prefer thatTell me about it! I went out with a 'nice' bloke a few years back, and it took him weeks to finally accept that I was finishing with him. I stopped replying to all his (rather frequent) text messages (though I still responded to one or two, because I didn't want to make him feel that I didn't care at all), and told him I'd already made plans if he asked to meet me on a given night. Eventually, his contact became more intermittent and accepting of the fact things were over...though I later found out he followed me to Dublin when I was down there for a concert, and he poked around the hotel I was staying in! After that sad little tactic, I didn't have any trouble with telling him to get the fuck out of my life completely!

i said that it wasn't working out and I couldn't be with someone so far away, that it freaked me out because he was moving way too fast and I don't feel the same way about him as he does about me, how is it not obvious enough?!
Tell him to fuck off and never go near you again or you'll get Fred to punch his lights out. Don't tell him who Fred is, it'll scare him. (replace Fred with any friend of yours)

Thats normally obvious enough for most guys.:p

hey tink. quit making excuses for this fuck face. dont answer his calls. stand up for yourself, and be an adult. no means no. and if you cant let a long distance boyfriend know that, then what are you going to do when some asshole that lives near you tries to manipulate you? NOW CUT THE SHIT. :)
well I've told him that I'll think about it all and blocked him on msn and I don't plan on answering his calls, unless he witholds his number or calls me at home in which case I plan on just putting the phone down, I think he'll get it eventually

I'm attempting to dump my boyfriend, don't really want to go into the reasons but I can assure you they're all perfectly reasonable reasons but he won't leave me alone! he keeps coming up with excuses and now he's made me cry, what does it take for a guy to realise he's being dumped?!
Slap him. Slap him good.

Slap him. Slap him good.
he's too far away

tell him to come over,and make sure you are giving another guy a blow job when he gets there. works everytime.


I can vouch for that^^

I can vouch for that^^
Mummy? You scare me sometimes! I'm not leaving my room anymore :(

I don't think you need to be mean if he's a "nice guy" like you've said. Also, you don't want to appear to be a slut, so some of these suggestions aren't great.
Just make sure you're being totally clear with him, and then if he still calls you nuke his whole country.

I don't think you need to be mean if he's a "nice guy" like you've said. Also, you don't want to appear to be a slut, so some of these suggestions aren't great.
Just make sure you're being totally clear with him, and then if he still calls you nuke his whole country.
yeah, I think Scotland is about ready for a good nuking

what does it take for a guy to realise he's being dumped?!

I told you ... it's not over until *I* say it's over!

Anyway, kidding aside ...

Mostly it depends on his age and how many relationships he's been in. Relationships, like all other aspects of human life, require a certain amount of practise. That's why dating older men is always advised!

Otherwise, I'd say some combination of car battery, jumper cables, and scrotum should do the trick.

Mummy? You scare me sometimes! I'm not leaving my room anymore :(


LOL.....I keep forgetting I have family on this forum. sigh. I was only joking love. Only .03 % of what I say on here is actually true. The rest is divided into sarcasm, witty replies, jokes and violent role play in the Kazoo.



No wait....the Kazoo is actually real.

Tink really, I've had boomerang boyfriends before. I guess they just think you will give in if they persist enough. Tell him that youre not trying to be a bint, but its over and to please not call you until he has come to that realization. Dont take his calls for a while. He will get the message eventually.

yeah, I think Scotland is about ready for a good nuking

blow up sellafield. it's close enough. though you might kill yourself and all of britain and ireland in the process but it's only a small price to pay for him to leave you alone

we havn't had sex yet and he knows I havn't been seeing anyone for months

if he's a virgin, say you're pregnant anyway... depending on how much he remembers from health class, he might believe you.

i had a girlfriend in high school whose mother had thought (in her teens in the '60s) that she could get pregnant simply by sitting on a gentleman's lap.

blow up sellafield. it's close enough. though you might kill yourself and all of britain and ireland in the process but it's only a small price to pay for him to leave you alone
I live closer to Sellafield than him

Start dating someone else. Make it really transparent and make sure he knows all about it. He'll either take it as: A. you're cheating on him; or B. you and he are no longer dating.

I live closer to Sellafield than him

well, then you might have a problem there...

Start dating someone else. Make it really transparent and make sure he knows all about it. He'll either take it as: A. you're cheating on him; or B. you and he are no longer dating.
that's not so easy, not like there's guys queuing around the block to go out with me

that's not so easy, not like there's guys queuing around the block to go out with me

Then get a guy to pretend to be your boyfriend, and lie about it.

Honestly, nothing will scare a loser guy like that away faster than another guy.

Take an interest in unpopular music, here are a list of singers
Neil Sedaka
Duran Duran
Tony Christie
Tom Jones
Glen Cambell

Trust me its worked for me, I've never had a girlfriend.

not like there's guys queuing around the block to go out with me

This we find unlikely, if not impossible. They're just too awestruck to let you see them. ;)

I can pretend for you if you like, maybe send him some nasty e-mails?

This we find unlikely, if not impossible. They're just too awestruck to let you see them. ;)
why thank you new person who can't possibly have any idea who I am, that's very sweet but none-the-less untrue

I can pretend for you if you like, maybe send him some nasty e-mails?
thanks, I've lied and told him I'd think about it so he's left me alone for now but I'll keep it in mind if he doesn't keep leaving me alone

why thank you new person who can't possibly have any idea who I am, that's very sweet but none-the-less untrue

I'm sure its not untrue. You sound a nice enough person.

why thank you new person who can't possibly have any idea who I am, that's very sweet but none-the-less untrue

Hey, come on Tink, cheer up a little, we both know you're a wonderful person, and that you look great! :)

Hell, I'll even join in with LM in sending abusive emails, whatever it takes!

why thank you new person who can't possibly have any idea who I am, that's very sweet but none-the-less untrue

We Lurk much, but post little. Hence the designation "new".

We have seen much of Miss Tink's writing, well-populated with "fluffles* and various affectionate gestures.

We have seen several photographs of Tink.

We have seen what appears to be a growing Tink Fan Club, or perhaps the Cult of Tink.

Tink cannot convince us that she is not deeply admired and respected, at the very least by NS denizens. Tink's ability to find love will, in our estimation, be relatively easy.

Hey, come on Tink, cheer up a little, we both know you're a wonderful person, and that you look great! :)

Hell, I'll even join in with LM in sending abusive emails, whatever it takes!

I'm with you 100%, nothing like a bit of flaming.

We Lurk much, but post little. Hence the designation "new".

We have seen much of Miss Tink's writing, well-populated with "fluffles* and various affectionate gestures.

We have seen several photographs of Tink.

We have seen what appears to be a growing Tink Fan Club, or perhaps the Cult of Tink.

Tink cannot convince us that she is not deeply admired and respected, at the very least by NS denizens. Tink's ability to find love will, in our estimation, be relatively easy.

Heh .. I find this creepy, and i'm not even tink :p

Heh .. I find this creepy, and i'm not even tink :p

lol

I'm with you 100%, nothing like a bit of flaming.

w00t, we should have a name .. like the Tink Army :p

We Lurk much, but post little. Hence the designation "new".

We have seen much of Miss Tink's writing, well-populated with "fluffles* and various affectionate gestures.

We have seen several photographs of Tink.

We have seen what appears to be a growing Tink Fan Club, or perhaps the Cult of Tink.

Tink cannot convince us that she is not deeply admired and respected, at the very least by NS denizens. Tink's ability to find love will, in our estimation, be relatively easy.
:eek: another stalker?! awesome! :cool: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

w00t, we should have a name .. like the Tink Army :p
I like the sound of that lol

:eek: another stalker?! awesome!

Nah, not stalking. Just observing. The nice ones are relatively memorable. Thank you for the fluffles.

I find this creepy

*chuckle* That's funny.

*chuckle* That's funny.

Please don't kill me.

Please don't kill me.

Well... okay. :)

Well... okay. :)

*phew* Thanks man :)

Wanna be part of Tinks Army?

*phew* Thanks man :)

Wanna be part of Tinks Army?

Actually, I'm mostly pacifist. Could it be The Cult of Tink?

Actually, I'm mostly pacifist. Could it be The Cult of Tink?
you have to put something along the lines of 'Tink ROXORZ MY SOXORZ' in your sig to be in the cult.............

Actually, I'm mostly pacifist. Could it be The Cult of Tink?

If you wish

*Sigh*

But I was just in the middle of a dodgey paint job, of a picture of soldiers and an apc!

I'll take his side. As a nice guy who didn't always get it when I was younger, perhaps you're not being clear enough. Saying he's moving too fast can be taken as you would like to move slower. And none of what you says you are completely over him.

Remember that at young ages a lot of the experience a man has with relationships comes from movies and books where the woman says she's not interested, the guy acts really cute and the woman changes her mind.

Be clear, be honest and be absolutely blunt. He may find it mean at the time but some time later he'll look back on it and silently thank you for making it so obvious.

I can remember several years ago responding to an email from a girl that was very nicely and, in her mind, clearly telling me that she was no longer interested. I had written an entire reply that was completely ignoring this fact because I just didn't get it. Fortunately, a female friend of mine read over her email and explained it to me. We're men. We're a little dense when it comes to reading women. You have to help us out even if it hurts.

Watch the movie 'How to lose a guy in sven days'. Take notes :p
Or of course get the NS'ers to bum rush him while he isn't looking, and when he's covered in casts in hospital, tell him your seeing someone else :D

We're men. We're a little dense when it comes to reading women. You have to help us out even if it hurts.

I'm a man and I realise things like that.

I'll take his side. As a nice guy who didn't always get it when I was younger, perhaps you're not being clear enough. Saying he's moving too fast can be taken as you would like to move slower. And none of what you says you are completely over him.

Remember that at young ages a lot of the experience a man has with relationships comes from movies and books where the woman says she's not interested, the guy acts really cute and the woman changes her mind.

Be clear, be honest and be absolutely blunt. He may find it mean at the time but some time later he'll look back on it and silently thank you for making it so obvious.

I can remember several years ago responding to an email from a girl that was very nicely and, in her mind, clearly telling me that she was no longer interested. I had written an entire reply that was completely ignoring this fact because I just didn't get it. Fortunately, a female friend of mine read over her email and explained it to me. We're men. We're a little dense when it comes to reading women. You have to help us out even if it hurts.I did eventually tell him that I didn't have feelings for him like he says he has for me, but then he said just to give him time and maybe one day I would, grrrrr

I usually give them the finger and tell them to leave me the fuck alone or as someone suggested - restraining order.

I usually give them the finger and tell them to leave me the fuck alone or as someone suggested - restraining order.

A restraining order wouldn't be quite that use ful as they're in a long distance relationship and shes already blocked his email and doesn't answer the phone to him, and i doubt she wants to go to such drastic measures.

I did eventually tell him that I didn't have feelings for him like he says he has for me, but then he said just to give him time and maybe one day I would, grrrrr

Tink: "That's fine, Mr X. And in the meantime, I'm available to meeting and dating other people. I recommend you do the same. Bye!"

(Note: How's that in the sig? Does that count?)

Tink Army:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v228/jb909/soldiers_apc1.jpg

'You've been dumped Sucka!'

Please excuse the dodgy paint job, I've lost my photoshop software :p

'You've been dumped Sucka!'

hee

Tink: "That's fine, Mr X. And in the meantime, I'm available to meeting and dating other people. I recommend you do the same. Bye!"

(Note: How's that in the sig? Does that count?)
lol



(the sig is perfect! thanks :fluffle: )

have you tried eating his family?

or telling him some odd fettish. Tell him you want to put on a strap on and do him from behind ;)

Tink Army:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v228/jb909/soldiers_apc1.jpg

'You've been dumped Sucka!'

Please excuse the dodgy paint job, I've lost my photoshop software :p
lmao! thanks

have you tried eating his family?

or telling him some odd fettish. Tell him you want to put on a strap on and do him from behind ;)

That would make the situation a whole lot worse i think

lol (the sig is perfect! thanks :fluffle: )

*bows with a flourish and tips his hat*

have you tried eating his family?

or telling him some odd fettish. Tell him you want to put on a strap on and do him from behind ;)

Well its certainly scared me away *scarpers*

lmao! thanks

Hah, no problem.

he lives ages away though! it could be 3 weeks before he can afford to come see me!
I think Occidio's advice has, as usual, been the best!

On a side note, has anyone ever had or known of a long distance relationship that has actually worked? In my experience it is the surest guarantee of failure.

Otherwise, I'd say some combination of car battery, jumper cables, and scrotum should do the trick.
Tink's own Abu Ghraib?

or telling him some odd fettish. Tell him you want to put on a strap on and do him from behind ;)
You do know she's trying to break up with him, right? Unless he's a sort of innocent little cherub type, he'll be turned on by that.

Tink Army:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v228/jb909/soldiers_apc1.jpg

'You've been dumped Sucka!'

Please excuse the dodgy paint job, I've lost my photoshop software :p
Yeah, nice background erasure, soldier! :rolleyes:

Yeah, nice background erasure, soldier! :rolleyes:

*Salutes*

THANK YOU SIR!

Okay, let me make sure I understand this... it's long distance and he can only contact you via phone, e-mail, and IM? If so, get privacy manager on your phone (it forces people to say their name and you can refuse the call... you can also put in the phone numbers you don't want blocked by the privacy manager system) and change your e-mail and IM names. That should do that trick.

I did eventually tell him that I didn't have feelings for him like he says he has for me, but then he said just to give him time and maybe one day I would, grrrrr

Friggin' movies. If you did one day ending up liking it would be romantic, right? It's all crap, but when you don't have much experience other people's (real or imaginary) experiences are all you have. You may have to accept the fact that you may not be friends after it's all said and done, because he may regard a friendship as opportunity.

What exactly have you told him so far? If he's a "nice guy" as you say, then telling him, firmly but kindly, that it's over, should be enough. We men aren't good at hints, you know; we need plainly stated facts. If you only drop hints, he may just try to interpret each one in a different way. I would assume he'd only understand if you told him explicitly. As I said, you can do that without being unkind.

If that doesn't work, have you got a (male) friend who would agree to pretend to be going out with you, in a way this boyfriend would know about? If you don't feel uncomfortable with that, that is?

i said that it wasn't working out and I couldn't be with someone so far away, that it freaked me out because he was moving way too fast and I don't feel the same way about him as he does about me, how is it not obvious enough?!


Eh... Maybe not. He may still be clinging to every hope he can find, as long as you don't tell him explicitly, "It's over". Otherwise, he may simply assume you're having doubts but that you haven't quite made up your mind yet. I know it may not make sense to you, but for a mere male it does. ;)

Or, there's always my second suggestion (see above).

By the way, the Cult of TInk sounds great. Count me in. I'll edit my signature shortly. :D

Eh... Maybe not. He may still be clinging to every hope he can find, as long as you don't tell him explicitly, "It's over". Otherwise, he may simply assume you're having doubts but that you haven't quite made up your mind yet. I know it may not make sense to you, but for a mere male it does. ;)

Or, there's always my second suggestion (see above).

By the way, the Cult of TInk sounds great. Count me in. I'll edit my signature shortly. :DI'll attempt being blunt next time he talks to me


and w00t!

I'm attempting to dump my boyfriend, don't really want to go into the reasons but I can assure you they're all perfectly reasonable reasons but he won't leave me alone! he keeps coming up with excuses and now he's made me cry, what does it take for a guy to realise he's being dumped?!


Perhaps ME answering the phone or door when he calls. I'm usually good at making sure the point gets across.Plus I need to practice for when my daughter grows up. Non lethal violence of action is an art.

I'm attempting to dump my boyfriend, don't really want to go into the reasons but I can assure you they're all perfectly reasonable reasons but he won't leave me alone! he keeps coming up with excuses and now he's made me cry, what does it take for a guy to realise he's being dumped?!

I haven't read all of the other answers, but I assume they are similar...

...legally, a temporary restraining order...

...illegally, 1. get some "friends" to "reason" with him
2. put a taser to him
3. put a gun in his face (do not pull the trigger)
4. put a foot in his crotch
...the list could go on for quite a while.

Life will go on for the dumbass so don't pull any punches, literally.

I'll attempt being blunt next time he talks to me

Just remember, blunt doesn't necessarily mean nasty. ;) You can start by telling him explicitly but keeping your tone kind enough, and just be, uh, increasingly blunt if it doesn't work right away.

Good luck. :)

your best policy is to be all out blunt, ignore him completely or threaten him

i am happy to help and join TinkArmy but i'm not allowed a sig on forums :( (court order)

Just remember, blunt doesn't necessarily mean nasty. ;) You can start by telling him explicitly but keeping your tone kind enough, and just be, uh, increasingly blunt if it doesn't work right away.

Good luck. :)
thanks :fluffle:



(and the sig is awesome btw!)

your best policy is to be all out blunt, ignore him completely or threaten him

i am happy to help and join TinkArmy but i'm not allowed a sig on forums :( (court order)
why aren't you allowed a sig? :confused:

thanks :fluffle:

(and the sig is awesome btw!)

Thanks, and you're welcome. Well, the other way round, but you know what I mean. :)

:fluffle:

thanks :fluffle:



(and the sig is awesome btw!)

I gave you the same advice and I didn't get any fluffles. I'm hurt. That's it, I'm an atinkist.

I gave you the same advice and I didn't get any fluffles. I'm hurt. That's it, I'm an atinkist.
well you havn't got anything nice about me in your sig................




have a fluffle or few anyway though :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

but that's so mean
Sometimes you just got to be cruel to be kind.

Hmmm. That would make a good song! :D

well you havn't got anything nice about me in your sig................




have a fluffle or few anyway though :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

MY FIRST FLUFFLES. Wait till I tell my mother. She'll be so excited... and worried.

"Dear, did you use protection? Those internet floozies can be so dirty. Now, change my bedpan."

Note: I made the bedpan part up.

MY FIRST FLUFFLES. Wait till I tell my mother. She'll be so excited... and worried.

"Dear, did you use protection? Those internet floozies can be so dirty. Now, change my bedpan."

Note: I made the bedpan part up.
that was your first fluffle?! awwwwww, bless! and you got it off the fluffle queen, lucky you!


and I can assure you I'm perfectly clean

that was your first fluffle?! awwwwww, bless! and you got it off the fluffle queen, lucky you!


and I can assure you I'm perfectly clean

I didn't say it. My mother did. ;)

EDIT: Check my sig now. See we can all say we were there when Tinkism started.

You guys are evil! :(

I'm so tempted to say 'for fuck's sake leave me alone!' and I hardly ever feel like that! I think I just found the big down side to dating nice guys, they're so much more difficult to dump, jerks just call you a stupid fat bitch and you never see them again, I think I prefer that
Some nice guys ruin it for all of us :(.

And then everyone says that "ALL" nice guys are hard to dump, and guess what -- we remain single for decades at a time.

then say you're a lesbian
Or better yet: say that he has made you a lesbian :p

i had a girlfriend in high school whose mother had thought (in her teens in the '60s) that she could get pregnant simply by sitting on a gentleman's lap.
If both were naked, and she was moving around a lot, I don't see why not.

w00t, we should have a name .. like the Tink Army
Yea, lets all march to Scotland, and beat the shit out of him!

I'm a man and I realise things like that.
Yea? is your boyfriend good at that too? ;)

I'm attempting to dump my boyfriend, don't really want to go into the reasons but I can assure you they're all perfectly reasonable reasons but he won't leave me alone! he keeps coming up with excuses and now he's made me cry, what does it take for a guy to realise he's being dumped?!
At 71 posts per day, it would seem that you don't have time for a boyfriend?

Nothing says 'don't come back' like a flaming effigee...

--snip--
what does it take for a guy to realise he's being dumped?!

The image of your tongue in some other fella's mouth burned forever into his feverishly denial-filled retinas might do it.

Failing that, there's always putting the boot to the groin. Or:

Cover a small floating ball in lacquer and put it in his gas tank. When he gets toward the end of a tank of gas, his car will stall becuase the intake will suck the ball over the valve and starve the engine. When the engine dies, the suction stops, releasing the ball. He then tries to re-start his car and succeeds, shrugs his shoulders and drives on until it happens again...and again...and again. Several trips to the shop and several hundred dollars later, he'll need to cut his gas tank open to find a small lacquered ball with the words "it's over, asshole" written on it.

But that's just me. I tend toward the subtle.

Heh.

Sometimes you just got to be cruel to be kind.

Hmmm. That would make a good song! :D

Nick Lowe sure thought so....

"I can't take another heartache
Though you say you're my friend, I'm at my wit's end
You say your love is bona fide, but that don't coincide
With the things that you do
And when I ask you to be nice, you say...

'You gotta be
Cruel to be kind, in the right measure
Cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign
Cruel to be kind means that I love you,
BAAAAAAAYBEHHH!
Y' gotta be cruel to be kind.'"

And so forth.

In my experience, Say it to him.
I would suggest somehing like, Sorry your a nice guy but not the one for me. I think we should both see other people so we can find that special person (persons) to settle down with.

In the mean time as some already said you haven't been asked out because a) you are seeing someone b)they see themselves as unworthy of you c)you are too attractive and they don't want to crash and burn.

in the mean time :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

At 71 posts per day, it would seem that you don't have time for a boyfriend?
that's because he's so far away so I could only speak to him on internet most of the time but because we never have anything to say to each other (one reason I'm dumping him) I just spent my time on here waiting for him to think of things to say

Tink, as many have said already, us blokes are stupid & we need things spelled out extra-clearly. so say this to him:

"I'm sorry, you're dumped. Seriously, you just don't seem to get it - its all over between us. We're finished. No more going out, and I'm not gonna be changing my mind. Also, I need my own space & I feel suffocated, so leave me alone for a while, ok? Sorry."

honest, to the point, but not mean.
then walk away (preferably pre-plan so you can make a speedy exit...like in a car)


and if he's still nuts after, this'll work
well I've told him that I'll think about it all and blocked him on msn and I don't plan on answering his calls, unless he witholds his number or calls me at home in which case I plan on just putting the phone down, I think he'll get it eventually



*is already in the Cult of Tink ;) :D *

that's because he's so far away so I could only speak to him on internet most of the time but because we never have anything to say to each other (one reason I'm dumping him) I just spent my time on here waiting for him to think of things to say
~hugs~

I'm sowwy hun :(


If I could I'd fly over there now and pretend to be your boyfriend :D

~hugs~

I'm sowwy hun :(


If I could I'd fly over there now and pretend to be your boyfriend :D
lol, thanks :fluffle:

lol, thanks :fluffle:
Always darling! :fluffle: :fluffle:

I'm so tempted to say 'for fuck's sake leave me alone!' and I hardly ever feel like that! I think I just found the big down side to dating nice guys, they're so much more difficult to dump, jerks just call you a stupid fat bitch and you never see them again, I think I prefer that
what KIND of nice guy is he? A nice guy, or a Nice Guy(tm)?

what KIND of nice guy is he? A nice guy, or a Nice Guy(tm)?
:confused: what's the difference?

:confused: what's the difference?
Ummm.... don't remember :( . someone else can help me with that....

Ummm.... don't remember :( . someone else can help me with that....
Well, is he just nice, or is he the sort guy that everyone thinks is nice, wonderful, deserves the best, but always seems to get burnt. Like me. At least until I went bad ;)

Well, is he just nice, or is he the sort guy that everyone thinks is nice, wonderful, deserves the best, but always seems to get burnt. Like me. At least until I went bad ;)
the second one

Well, is he just nice, or is he the sort guy that everyone thinks is nice, wonderful, deserves the best, but always seems to get burnt. Like me.
What did you mean by the second one?

the second one
You sure?

You sure?
yes

yes
Damn...

Try and ignore him then.

wow...............I just spoke to him and finally made him get that it was over in a way that was nice enough for him to still let me have the ticket to see Coldplay for free....

wow...............I just spoke to him and finally made him get that it was over in a way that was nice enough for him to still let me have the ticket to see Coldplay for free....

how did you manage that?

how did you manage that?
well i told him 'that this guy I've liked for ages who actually lives near me asked me out today and this guy has been a close friend for ages and I really care about him and he's always been around for me' and he understand and said he still wanted to be friends and the ticket was still mine if i wanted it and i still dont hav to pay for it

well i told him 'that this guy I've liked for ages who actually lives near me asked me out today and this guy has been a close friend for ages and I really care about him and he's always been around for me' and he understand and said he still wanted to be friends and the ticket was still mine if i wanted it and i still dont hav to pay for it

nice one. though i still think you should've told him you were a necrophiliac... but, hey, what do i know?

In my experience, Say it to him.
I would suggest somehing like, Sorry your a nice guy but not the one for me. I think we should both see other people so we can find that special person (persons) to settle down with.
No, don't use vague things like that. That will confuse him and keep him wondering why. It will cause him to keep calling you. Tink, you should tell him the real reasons why you're dumping him. He'll be wondering anyway.

Well, is he just nice, or is he the sort guy that everyone thinks is nice, wonderful, deserves the best, but always seems to get burnt. Like me. At least until I went bad ;)
lol, "get burnt". :)

wow...............I just spoke to him and finally made him get that it was over in a way that was nice enough for him to still let me have the ticket to see Coldplay for free....
You dumped him and then he gave you a concert ticket? What a WUSS! No surprise you got rid of him.

You dumped him and then he gave you a concert ticket? What a WUSS! No surprise you got rid of him.

Why a wuss? Just because he did it to be nice and for obviously non-selfish reasons? Your logic evades me.

wow...............I just spoke to him and finally made him get that it was over in a way that was nice enough for him to still let me have the ticket to see Coldplay for free....

Points to you for being kind. So many people get so frustrated in that situation and forget that he's not being an idiot on purpose.

Points to you for being kind. So many people get so frustrated in that situation and forget that he's not being an idiot on purpose.

I second that. Obviously you handled it efficiently but without being unkind. Well done.

Why a wuss? Just because he did it to be nice and for obviously non-selfish reasons? Your logic evades me.
Why would you be "nice" to a girl after she dumped you? At best I'm cold, at worst angry. Unless it was an amicable type of break-up, but this doesn't sound like one of those.

Why would you be "nice" to a girl after she dumped you? Unless it was an amicable type of break-up, but this doesn't sound like one of those.

From what I gathered it did sound fairly amicable. It wasn't as though TInk were nasty to him, or he to her. So why shouldn't he do something nice for her still? If he actually cared for her, there's nothing wrong in him doing one last nice thing for her, IMHO. Personally, I can understand him doing it.

Why would you be "nice" to a girl after she dumped you? At best I'm cold, at worst angry. Unless it was an amicable type of break-up, but this doesn't sound like one of those.

I'm often friends with girls after the breakup. I don't see how the fact that you didn't work out would make you stop caring about someone. Obviously, this person that is dumping you had some redeemable qualities or you wouldn't care, would you?

I'm often friends with girls after the breakup. I don't see how the fact that you didn't work out would make you stop caring about someone. Obviously, this person that is dumping you had some redeemable qualities or you wouldn't care, would you?

Exactly.

I once stayed in close contact with an ex-girlfriend for over a year, and we got on very well as good friends. (In fact we almost ended up going out together again). I still cared for her, and liked her a lot, just in a slightly different way than before. And she me.

Exactly.

I once stayed in close contact with an ex-girlfriend for over a year, and we got on very well as good friends. (In fact we almost ended up going out together again). I still cared for her, and liked her a lot, just in a slightly different way than before. And she me.

You're going to make people think one of us is a puppet. I know I'm very often right, but that doesn't mean you have to agree ;)

You're going to make people think one of us is a puppet. I know I'm very often right, but that doesn't mean you have to agree ;)

I concur. Uh, wait...

Well, I'm not going to disagree with you if I actually agree, am I? :p

Anyway, I'm off to bed, so I'll stop hyjacking this thread. Though since it has already veered slightly off topic, I'll take this opportunity to say: "TInk! I haven't seen a picture of you with blue hair yet. Have you got one?"

Having said that, good night, and I'm glad it turned out well for you, TInk. ;)

well i told him 'that this guy I've liked for ages who actually lives near me asked me out today and this guy has been a close friend for ages and I really care about him and he's always been around for me' and he understand and said he still wanted to be friends and the ticket was still mine if i wanted it and i still dont hav to pay for it


not to be the devil's advocate, but i think this is just wrong and atypical of women. They want to use you so they get things their way (i.e. ticket she didn't hafta pay for).

and again, to be the devil's advocate. you LIED to him and now you're using that lie to get something from him that if you told him the truth he probably wouldn't give you. I would say i hope you feel a little guilty about that, but i don't think you will (or care if you do).

Reading throughout this thread it makes me think that you didn't know how to break up with him just because you wanted to see coldplay and he had a ticket already purchased for you.

Otherwise breaking up is a simple: I don't want to see you again, period.... If he says, but i think you'll change your mind. Be firm with him and tell him no, you won't. If he's still delusional about the relationship, tell him it will never work out and that you don't want to hear from him again.
and if he's still being retarded, tell him angrily that he doesn't get it and repeat that you don't want to hear from him again and then disconnect whichever method of communication you were using to talk (i.e. IM, phone, etc).


This "i don' think it'll work," and "let me think it over for a while" will never work. It just incourages the poor saps who don't get much in the way of female companionship.

/troll

p.s.

I sincerely hope that if you learn anything from this thread and RL situation, it's that guys can be extremely stupid when it comes to relationships, and you have to spell it out VERY plainly for us to understand something. To the point of there is no other meaning we could interpret into what you say. This dropping of hints rarely works.

(doesn't know how old tink is, but thought girls learned this stuff in high school/college)

I swear to god I had no intention of keeping that ticket! In fact I still don't know wether I'll actually take him up on the offer. I told him over and over why I wanted to split up with him but he wouldn't listen, in the end it was either lie to him or tell him to fuck off and leave me alone and I'm not the kinda girl who does the second one

we never have anything to say to each other (one reason I'm dumping him) I just spent my time on here waiting for him to think of things to say
That is EXACTLY how i'll never find myself a girl--not being able to think of something for me to say during long periods of silence. :(

That is EXACTLY how i'll never find myself a girl--not being able to think of something for me to say during long periods of silence. :(
1. Develop a list of questions you can ask, and no, I don't mean innane stuff like "what's your sign?"

2. Work to become the best you you can be. I keep saying this, but I don't think anyone is listening! If you focus on your strong points and develop them, you will attract the sort of person who has similiar interests ... isn't that what you want ... someone interested in the same things you are?

3. Broaden your interests ... read, a lot! In order for you to share things that are on your mind that might be of interest to others, you have to put something in your mind in the first place.

I swear to god I had no intention of keeping that ticket! In fact I still don't know wether I'll actually take him up on the offer. I told him over and over why I wanted to split up with him but he wouldn't listen, in the end it was either lie to him or tell him to fuck off and leave me alone and I'm not the kinda girl who does the second one

I wouldn't reccomend taking the ticket it sends him mixed messages.

1. Develop a list of questions you can ask, and no, I don't mean innane stuff like "what's your sign?"

2. Work to become the best you you can be. I keep saying this, but I don't think anyone is listening! If you focus on your strong points and develop them, you will attract the sort of person who has similiar interests ... isn't that what you want ... someone interested in the same things you are?

3. Broaden your interests ... read, a lot! In order for you to share things that are on your mind that might be of interest to others, you have to put something in your mind in the first place.
1. Usually, the girl asks ME that :D

2. Yes, I want someone with the same interests as me. :)

3. I see. Unfortunately, I'm quite absent-minded, so that presents a problem.

I'm attempting to dump my boyfriend, don't really want to go into the reasons but I can assure you they're all perfectly reasonable reasons but he won't leave me alone! he keeps coming up with excuses and now he's made me cry, what does it take for a guy to realise he's being dumped?!

Think Lorena Bobbit.

Guaranteed to work. Or your money back.

1. Develop a list of questions you can ask, and no, I don't mean innane stuff like "what's your sign?"

2. Work to become the best you you can be. I keep saying this, but I don't think anyone is listening! If you focus on your strong points and develop them, you will attract the sort of person who has similiar interests ... isn't that what you want ... someone interested in the same things you are?

3. Broaden your interests ... read, a lot! In order for you to share things that are on your mind that might be of interest to others, you have to put something in your mind in the first place.

This is some solid advice....unless your into bimbos, in which case a shiny car and a penis enlargment [it can always be bigger] should do the trick :)

This is some solid advice....unless your into bimbos, in which case a shiny car and a penis enlargment [it can always be bigger] should do the trick :)

don't forget lots of money.

don't forget lots of money.

Oh yeah, it's all about the money. The more ways you can find to show off your wads of moola, the better.

Oh yeah, it's all about the money. The more ways you can find to show off your wads of moola, the better.
ya i wish i had some.

Hey Tink, if you wanna scare him off indirectly, refer him to me... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :D

I'm quite good at scaring people off-man and woman alike. ;)

Hey Tink, if you wanna scare him off indirectly, refer him to me... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :D

I'm quite good at scaring people off-man and woman alike. ;)

I'll help, but i only scare off the men.

Seriously though, if you still need to get rid of this guy, just let your arm pit hair grow out, then mascara it up real nice and wear a singlet top next time you see him. He'll want out and if he is still interested then it's a sure sign you need to call the cops! Yellow up the teeth and drop the C word a lot too. If he's still after you, tell him your knocked-up!

Hold up here.

We've all been rallying to Tink here, and I'm reading this thread wondering at a paradox I am reading:

1) This is a "nice guy" but he won't leave Tink alone.
2) Tink is "too nice" to tell him to fuck off, but she is willing to lie to him to get him off her back.

Here's a different perspective:

1) This guy is either not all that nice, or he's not being told directly in a way he wants to understand that the association is over. I suspect it's the latter as much as the former.

2) Tink isn't all that much of a catch if she lacks the gumption to tell this man to leave her alone in no uncertain terms, she's not interested.

So I suggest this:

Tell the man, "You know, I've been trying to dump you, but I am too much of a wuss to tell you directly, so I've been lying to you hoping you get the hint. Do you really want to date a woman who a) can't tand up for herself, and b) is willing to lie to you just to prevent having a backbone?"

I bet that will give him significant pause.

Just one way of doing it, one woman to another.


Ge-Ren

:rolleyes:

you don't understand, I've told him over and over again that it isn't going to work for reasons A B and C but he won't take it, he keeps saying that the distance isn't important to him but that isn't the point because it's important to me but he can't understand that, and he does the same thing with the other reasons I give him, he's a good guy and I don't wanna lose him as a friend, and like I said it was either lie or tell him to fuck off and leave me alone!

you don't understand, I've told him over and over again that it isn't going to work for reasons A B and C but he won't take it, he keeps saying that the distance isn't important to him but that isn't the point because it's important to me but he can't understand that, and he does the same thing with the other reasons I give him, he's a good guy and I don't wanna lose him as a friend, and like I said it was either lie or tell him to fuck off and leave me alone!

sadly i can say i know guys like this. you can give them reasons til your blue in the face and they really aren't listening. See now if you really want to make a point with him you can do like my ex and cheat on him, but that would be counter productive to maintianing him as a friend so i wouldn't reccomend it. (she could have said she didn't want to be with me i'll actually listen by the way. i'm not one of those guys.)

If he's a smart guy, then I doubt there's any easy way to break up with him without hurting his feelings in the process, which means dumping him won't exactly make you his best friend no matter how articulate your arguments are.

I would suggest the TalentedRipley approach. Set up a date with him and with an ex of yours he knows at the same restaurant at the same table and let the sparks fly. Or next time you're at a bar and someone hits on you give them his number and be sure the guy knows your full name...

I know, I'm evil.

Why do you want to stay friends with this guy? He is being a bastard to you by not accepting that you no longer want to be in a relationship with him! If he was truly worthy of being your friend then he would care enough about your hapiness and let go already. It's one thing to be persistent but what he is doing now is just unfair.

because I like him and see no reason not to be friends with him

because I like him and see no reason not to be friends with him

Well my reason is if he treats you like this as a boyfriend, do you think he will go back to being a normal guy who takes your feelings and hapiness into consideration once you become just friends again?

I get the feeling with people who wont let go when a relationship clearly isn't working aren't the type of people who can easily go back to being friends, no matter how a relationship ends.

You know him better than anyone here though, put yourself in his shoes, what do you think it will take for him to get the message and more importantly it seems, what would have to be done for him to be happy for the relationship to end but still want to remain friends with you?

Personally, I can understand him doing it.
I wouldn't reccomend taking the ticket it sends him mixed messages.
Yes. This has no doubt already occurred to FairyTInkArisen, but he probably thinks that giving her the ticket will "help" him to get back with her.

because I like him and see no reason not to be friends with him

reason's to not be friends with him:

1. he made you cry. (you did type that earlier didn't you?)
2. he can't get the hint that you just want it "Friends Only."
3. the opinion that he's giving you the ticket because he thinks he still has a chance is a good one.
4. repeat #1.
5. again, #1, why would you want to hang around a guy who does that?
6. ..... ?

uh.. can't think of any more :P
but you shouldn't hafta go beyond #1. how long have you known this guy? and how long has he been like this?

one good thing about having friends (and other persons) answer these questions for you on a msg board is that they have non-biased opinions and see things differently than you do because they're not in your situation.

friendship or no friendship, i personally think that ex-bf/gf can't be friends... especially if they've seen you naked :D

Yes. This has no doubt already occurred to FairyTInkArisen, but he probably thinks that giving her the ticket will "help" him to get back with her.

*shrugs* Not necessarily. Well, maybe, but not everyone does things with an ulterior motive, you know.

reason's to not be friends with him:

1. he made you cry. (you did type that earlier didn't you?)
2. he can't get the hint that you just want it "Friends Only."
3. the opinion that he's giving you the ticket because he thinks he still has a chance is a good one.
4. repeat #1.
5. again, #1, why would you want to hang around a guy who does that?
6. ..... ?

uh.. can't think of any more :P
but you shouldn't hafta go beyond #1. how long have you known this guy? and how long has he been like this?

one good thing about having friends (and other persons) answer these questions for you on a msg board is that they have non-biased opinions and see things differently than you do because they're not in your situation.

friendship or no friendship, i personally think that ex-bf/gf can't be friends... especially if they've seen you naked :D
but if you always look for the bad things in people nobody will have any friends, it's better to see the good things, he's smart, makes me laugh, he's kind, he's a generally nice guy, that's why I don't wanna lose touch with him


and yeah they can be friends, his best friend is his ex-gf, they went out for over a year before they split up and decided to just be friends

I'm attempting to dump my boyfriend, don't really want to go into the reasons but I can assure you they're all perfectly reasonable reasons but he won't leave me alone! he keeps coming up with excuses and now he's made me cry, what does it take for a guy to realise he's being dumped?!

If he won't leave you alone, it's called stalking.

Say it loud and clear, and use simple words so he'll be sure to understand. Make sure you say it in front of others.

Put it in writing, and send it to him as well.

You don't have to be mean, but you don't have to be nice, either.

Okay. My advice is gonna suck. As advice always does. Tell the guy it's over and you never want to see him again. Don't answer/return his calls, emails, pages, whatever. Give the guy a couple of weeks to cool off. By then, maybe he'll realize your serious and will be happy to just be friends to be around you. He'll probably try to move in again, but just be firm. He'll get over it. If you find him excessively hanging around, find something else to do that doesn't include him.

I would just like to point out now (again) that he has finally got the point and we're still friends, I had to lie to him to do it which I would have preferred not to but life's a bitch sometimes, there's nowt you can do about it

I would just like to point out now (again) that he has finally got the point and we're still friends, I had to lie to him to do it which I would have preferred not to but life's a bitch sometimes, there's nowt you can do about it

Never lie, and never do the "we're still friends" thing. Ye Gods!

I would just like to point out now (again) that he has finally got the point and we're still friends, I had to lie to him to do it which I would have preferred not to but life's a bitch sometimes, there's nowt you can do about it
*shrugs* Sometimes that works too. Did you tell him you were a lesbian, cause that would probably even cheer me up.

because I like him and see no reason not to be friends with him
For reasons as yet unknown, many guys can't handle "just being friends" with a former lover. Sad, but true.

For reasons as yet unknown, many guys can't handle "just being friends" with a former lover. Sad, but true.
his best friend is his ex girlfriend so I know he can

Never lie, and never do the "we're still friends" thing. Ye Gods!
sometimes you have to lie so that you don't hurt someone's feelings

sad but true, but i don't mind. me personally, if someone breaks up w/ me or i break up with them, i can't stand being around them. because they will always bring up bad memories, and i want to forget them as quick as possible.


but if you always look for the bad things in people nobody will have any friends, it's better to see the good things, he's smart, makes me laugh, he's kind, he's a generally nice guy, that's why I don't wanna lose touch with him

i disagree. If people have things that you don't like, you gotta weigh the cons against the pros. but i wrote that stuff down w/o knowing all the facts, so your pro's may outweigh the cons, but from my vantage point it's vice versa.

and yeah they can be friends, his best friend is his ex-gf, they went out for over a year before they split up and decided to just be friends
some people can, and some ppl can't. i just don't want to. :)

i disagree. If people have things that you don't like, you gotta weigh the cons against the pros. but i wrote that stuff down w/o knowing all the facts, so your pro's may outweigh the cons, but from my vantage point it's vice versa.


trust me, it takes a lot to make me not want to be friends with someone

you don't understand, I've told him over and over again that it isn't going to work for reasons A B and C but he won't take it, he keeps saying that the distance isn't important to him but that isn't the point because it's important to me but he can't understand that, and he does the same thing with the other reasons I give him, he's a good guy and I don't wanna lose him as a friend, and like I said it was either lie or tell him to fuck off and leave me alone!

Then fuck off is the right answer. A friend wouldn't do that to you. No one is worth having to lie to. It's too bad for him, really, and in a sense too bad for you.

That's just how these things go. I wish I had less harsh advice. Lying to him does nothing and degrades you in the end. His friendship is not worth that.

Ge-Ren

sometimes you have to lie so that you don't hurt someone's feelings
But some people use that wishy washy statement and refuse to see the truth in it

Meaning some people want to stay togeather SO bad that unless you are clear as day with them they will find a loophole or try to weesel their way back in

Then fuck off is the right answer. A friend wouldn't do that to you. No one is worth having to lie to. It's too bad for him, really, and in a sense too bad for you.

That's just how these things go. I wish I had less harsh advice. Lying to him does nothing and degrades you in the end. His friendship is not worth that.

Ge-Ren
I'm not the kind of girl who can just tell someone to fuck off, it's rude and not very ladylike, neither I guess is lying but it was just a small white lie that wasn't going to hurt anyone so I felt better just lying to him than shouting at him

I'm not the kind of girl who can just tell someone to fuck off, it's rude and not very ladylike, neither I guess is lying but it was just a small white lie that wasn't going to hurt anyone so I felt better just lying to him than shouting at him
While I am all for tact and not trying to hurt people if he does not get the picture with being nice then it is your duty to LET him know that it is indeed over
Anything other is causing both you and him harm (more then just some hurt feelings) and will drag things on

situations like this require country music. only country covers a bad breakup right.

jo dee messina "my give-a-damn's busted"

Well, you filled up my head with so many lies.
You twisted my heart till somethin' snapped inside.
I'd like to give it one more try,
But my give-a-damn's busted.

You can crawl back home, say you were wrong;
Stand out in the yard and cry all night long.
Well, go ahead and water the lawn:
My give-a-damn's busted.

I really wanna care.
I wanna feel somethin'.
Let me dig a little deeper:.
No, sorry: nothin'.

You can say you've got issues, you can say you're a victim.
It's all your parents fault, after all you didn't pick 'em.
Maybe somebody else has got time to listen:
My give-a-damn's busted.

Well, your therapist says it was all a mistake:
A product of the Prozac an' your co-dependent ways.
So who's your neighbor these days?
My give-a-damn's busted.

I really wanna care.
I wanna feel somethin'.
Let me dig a little deeper:.
No, still nothin'.


GONE by montgomery gentry


This ain't no temporary, typical, tearful good-bye, uh uh uh
This ain't no breakin' up and wakin' up and makin' up one more time, uh uh uh
This is gone (gone) gone (gone) gone (gone) gone

Gone like a freight-train, gone like yesterday
Gone like a soldier in the civil war, bang bang
Gone like a '59 Cadillac
Like all the good things that ain't never coming back
She's gone (gone) gone (gone) gone (gone) gone, she's gone

This ain't no give it time, I'm hurtin' but maybe we can work it out, uh uh uh
Won't be no champagne, red rose, romance, second chance, uh uh uh
This is gone (gone) gone (gone) gone (gone) gone


it will take 5 minutes out of your time to get these off the net. its well worth the investment.

I'm not the kind of girl who can just tell someone to fuck off, it's rude and not very ladylike, neither I guess is lying but it was just a small white lie that wasn't going to hurt anyone so I felt better just lying to him than shouting at him

I'm with you Tinks. You did the right thing.

As to those saying you should never lie, Bet you do, or are you just economical with the truth? Don't answer that its retorical.

So Tinks, have a :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: to cheer you, remember you did the right thing on your own, have faith in yourself and your judgement. :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

I'm not the kind of girl who can just tell someone to fuck off, it's rude and not very ladylike, neither I guess is lying but it was just a small white lie that wasn't going to hurt anyone so I felt better just lying to him than shouting at him

"As opposed to a big black lie" said by Tutti on the Facts of Life.

:fluffle:

I'm with you Tinks. You did the right thing.

As to those saying you should never lie, Bet you do, or are you just economical with the truth? Don't answer that its retorical.

So Tinks, have a <snip> to cheer you, remember you did the right thing on your own, have faith in yourself and your judgement. <snip>
thanks :fluffle::fluffle::fluffle::fluffle::fluffle::fluffle::fluffle:

[QUOTE=See u Jimmy]I'm with you Tinks. You did the right thing.

As to those saying you should never lie, Bet you do, or are you just economical with the truth? Don't answer that its retorical.

So Tinks, have a <snip> to cheer you, remember you did the right thing on your own, have faith in yourself and your judgement. <snip>[QUOTE]
thanks :fluffle::fluffle::fluffle::fluffle::fluffle::fluffle::fluffle:


When I end a relationship, I'm brutally honest. Works for me, your mileage may vary.

When I end a relationship, I'm brutally honest. Works for me, your mileage may vary.
I tried honesty and it didn't work

I tried honesty and it didn't work

What words did he not understand?

What words did he not understand?
any reason that I gave him that was a problem for me, eg, I don't want to be with someone that lives so far away, to which his response was that he's done it before and it's hard but he can cope with it, but that wasn't the point, the point was that I don't want to have to do the long distance thing

any reason that I gave him that was a problem for me, eg, I don't want to be with someone that lives so far away, to which his response was that he's done it before and it's hard but he can cope with it, but that wasn't the point, the point was that I don't want to have to do the long distance thing


Well, let me see if I can distill this down to something that is even more true.

One may posit that if you are really, truly in love with someone, you'll put up with the long distance thing (let's say that your married to a soldier who ships out to Iraq as an example).

If you weren't willing to do the long distance thing, then you weren't really in love (at least not very much).

Would it have been harder to say (or did you say)

"I'm not in love with you, and I never will be. I don't want to be in a relationship with you, and I think it's best that we not see each other anymore."

Well, let me see if I can distill this down to something that is even more true.

One may posit that if you are really, truly in love with someone, you'll put up with the long distance thing (let's say that your married to a soldier who ships out to Iraq as an example).

If you weren't willing to do the long distance thing, then you weren't really in love (at least not very much).

Would it have been harder to say (or did you say)

"I'm not in love with you, and I never will be. I don't want to be in a relationship with you, and I think it's best that we not see each other anymore."I did tell him that I don't have any feelings for him but he said I should just wait and see if those feelings develop

I did tell him that I don't have any feelings for him but he said I should just wait and see if those feelings develop

That's when you need to cut off the discussion. Say that you've made up your mind, and that's final. And then leave the room.

Just listening to him squirm is going to make you feel guilty (when you shouldn't) and make you want to explain more (which you shouldn't).

friendship or no friendship, i personally think that ex-bf/gf can't be friends... especially if they've seen you naked :D
Well your wrong im still friends with all but one of my ex g/f's

Time and maturity will tell if people can still be friends afterwards. But when you're cutting it off, cut it off. If you're really friends, that will resurface after the cut off.

That being said, most young men don't understand and won't accept anything except a short, sharp cutoff.

Well your wrong im still friends with all but one of my ex g/f's

there is no right and wrong about it. either you can, can't, or won't. i choose the won't, but good for you for doing it.

ARG!!! He randomly started talking to me yesterday wanting to get back together, I can't believe he still hasn't got it! :headbang:






{sorry about the gravedig, i didn't think it deserved a whole new thread}

just tell him to sod off :)

ARG!!! He randomly started talking to me yesterday wanting to get back together, I can't believe he still hasn't got it! :headbang:

Have you told him explicitly that you don't want to get back together with him? Made it entirely clear that there is no chance of you changing your mind about that?

You could always smear crap on his walls. That never fails.

What do you do to an animal that won't listen and obey?
smack him with a rolled up newspaper and say "NO!" in a loud firm voice. really, It might help. Any argument he tries to make: smack "NO!"

Tell him you're seeing someone else already. Another woman. That does the trick nicely. Sure, another man also works, but woman just works so much better.

ARG!!! He randomly started talking to me yesterday wanting to get back together, I can't believe he still hasn't got it! :headbang:

{sorry about the gravedig, i didn't think it deserved a whole new thread}

Tell him you have a violent, and very jealous, US Marine who you've been seeing and that you've told the Marine about your ex who won't leave you alone. That should do it. I'll send you a picture if you like.

I'm so tempted to say 'for fuck's sake leave me alone!' and I hardly ever feel like that! I think I just found the big down side to dating nice guys, they're so much more difficult to dump, jerks just call you a stupid fat bitch and you never see them again, I think I prefer that

he wouldn't of made you cry if he was a nice guy, now would he?

Coming from a guy: kick him in the nuts. Hard. Then hit him on the head with something, either wide and flat or long and stiff. A phone book or roller pin is a good start.

Coming from a guy: kick him in the nuts. Hard.

Sure you're a guy? Nut-kicking is only acceptable in life-or-death situations (or to avoid other really nasty situations; rape, e.g.), IMO. Certainly not in completly non-violent situations.

I'd go with ignoring him, though that doesn't seem to be working for you.

I'm actually tempted to get back woth him, the Coldplay concert is soon

Tell him you're seeing someone else already. Another woman. That does the trick nicely. Sure, another man also works, but woman just works so much better.I'd follow that advice. But then I'm a guy. ;) Otherwise, I'd suggest, avoid this guy! If you see him coming, walk the other way. He'll get the hint!

I'm actually tempted to get back woth him, the Coldplay concert is soonYou're what? You start this whole thread and waste dozens of posts, and then... you can't give up now!

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

You're what? You start this whole thread and waste dozens of posts, and then... you can't give up now!

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe
yeah, but that was 2 months ago, it's different now

yeah, but that was 2 months ago, it's different nowWait. You bumped a 2-month-old thread just to give this comment? Why are you even bringing it to our attention anyway?

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

Wait. You bumped a 2-month-old thread just to give this comment? Why are you even bringing it to our attention anyway?

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe
well clearly people were interested otherwise they wouldn't have posted in the first place, and yesterday he said he wanted to get back together so i was just moaning that he still hadn't got the message after 2 months! then i decided the best way to get back at him would be to use him for the coldplay oncert tickets

I was going to ask if this was a new thread seeing as i went straight to the last comment but now i know.

TInk what you are thinking of doing is wrong.

If what your saying is the most thrilling reason about getting back with this guy is to go to a concert than for shame.
for shame indeed...

Because of a concert? Do you know how much of a using bitch you sound? :rolleyes:
he deserves payback for being such a pain in the arse!

I was going to ask if this was a new thread seeing as i went straight to the last comment but now i know.

TInk what you are thinking of doing is wrong.

If what your saying is the most thrilling reason about getting back with this guy is to go to a concert than for shame.
for shame indeed...
well it isn't just that, now i have a job and it's coming up to summer so the distance wouldn't be a problem anymore, plus he did promise we could take things a little slower this time

he deserves payback for being such a pain in the arse!Does he like the band?


Because if not, that's a good reason. If I was going out with someone I didn't like, I'd take him/her to a concert of some awful kind of music like minimalism, or else display awful table manners. I do anyway.;)

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe

well it isn't just that, now i have a job and it's coming up to summer so the distance wouldn't be a problem anymore, plus he did promise we could take things a little slower this time
Don't get sucked back in, no matter how desperate you are!! Keep away!

Why did you break up in the first place? (No I don't want to trawl the thread.) Are those reasons no longer valid?

Does he like the band?


Because if not, that's a good reason. If I was going out with someone I didn't like, I'd take him/her to a concert of some awful kind of music like minimalism, or else display awful table manners. I do anyway.;)

~Czardas, Supreme Ruler of the Universe
yeah, he likes the band, he bought the tickets for the concert before he'd even met me

well it isn't just that, now i have a job and it's coming up to summer so the distance wouldn't be a problem anymore, plus he did promise we could take things a little slower this time

Listen to Madonna's Papa Don't Preach very carefully.

In my opinion, you are starting to sound like the naive little girl in that song.

This man has made you cry. He has pestered you non-stop. He was too stupid to accept what you had to say. Can you afford to go through with that again?

And it will happen again. All those reasons why you split up will resurface. He can't have changed that much in two months.

I just noticed this thread today. I have read it from start to finish without a two-month period to forget stuff. So I know what it you felt about this man then. Why should he have changed?

Do not do it, FairyTInkArisen. You will be making the biggest mistake of your life if you do.

All for the sake of Coldplay.

Don't get sucked back in, no matter how desperate you are!! Keep away!

Why did you break up in the first place? (No I don't want to trawl the thread.) Are those reasons no longer valid?well firstly he was from Scotland, neither of us had a job and he was at college so finding time and money to meet up was difficult and then also he told me that he loved me the second time we met up, it scared me

well it isn't just that, now i have a job and it's coming up to summer so the distance wouldn't be a problem anymore, plus he did promise we could take things a little slower this time
Thats why i said "The most thrilling" not the only reason.
But for you to say...

he deserves payback for being such a pain in the arse!
I have to question your commitment and i really dont think its fair on him mind you im sure he wouldnt mind just spending time with you would be good enough.

But why not say to him
Look what would you say and how would you feel if i told you the only reason i wanted to get back together with you is because of Coldplay?

I think thats a question thought it dosent sound right...

Hmm, after reading the entirety of this thread, I can't help but wonder how close it is to the situation I'm facing. I'd rather avoid writing some long ass post no one cares to read, but if you feel up to talking about it with me, I'd rather enjoy discussing the details of our experiences and comparing notes over msn. Just to be clear, I'm a guy hopelessly in love with a girl who I can't be sure whether she firmly believes it's over between us, or if she's just scared of commitment and trying to scare me off like she warned me might happen...

My msn is zeconte@hotmail.com if you're interested.

Why did you break up in the first place?

More importantly, why are you thinking of getting back together?

Listen to Madonna's Papa Don't Preach very carefully.

In my opinion, you are starting to sound like the naive little girl in that song.

This man has made you cry. He has pestered you non-stop. He was too stupid to accept what you had to say. Can you afford to go through with that again?

And it will happen again. All those reasons why you split up will resurface. He can't have changed that much in two months.

I just noticed this thread today. I have read it from start to finish without a two-month period to forget stuff. So I know what it you felt about this man then. Why should he have changed?

Do not do it, FairyTInkArisen. You will be making the biggest mistake of your life if you do.

All for the sake of Coldplay.

Seconded.

You are making excuses. You're reactions to his behaviors shows that you don't have a mutual respect and admiration relationships should be founded on. You sound more like you're willing to settle and that is really, really sad, especially for a seventeen-year-old.

Expect more. I think you'll find you'll get it.

You are making excuses. You're reactions to his behaviors shows that you don't have a mutual respect and admiration relationships should be founded on. You sound more like you're willing to settle and that is really, really sad, especially for a seventeen-year-old.

Expect more. I think you'll find you'll get it.

Seconded.

More importantly, why are you thinking of getting back together?
well, i know it's a silly reason but i've been single for 2 months and it sucks! And yesterday he was talking to me on msn saying that he really wanted to see me again, and that we could take things slower and i do like him, he's incredibly sweet, even if he was a bit of an arse when i ended it

well, i know it's a silly reason but i've been single for 2 months and it sucks! And yesterday he was talking to me on msn saying that he really wanted to see me again, and that we could take things slower and i do like him, he's incredibly sweet, even if he was a bit of an arse when i ended it
What did he say do?

What did he say do?
huh?

well, i know it's a silly reason but i've been single for 2 months and it sucks! And yesterday he was talking to me on msn saying that he really wanted to see me again, and that we could take things slower and i do like him, he's incredibly sweet, even if he was a bit of an arse when i ended it

And, here, we have confirmation.

There are more painful things in the world than being single for a couple of months. How about trying to get rid of a stalker? How about getting pregnant by someone you don't love? How about ended up married to the wrong guy? How about realizing you strung some poor schmuck along because you didn't want to be alone and then really, really broke his heart?

well, i know it's a silly reason but i've been single for 2 months and it sucks! And yesterday he was talking to me on msn saying that he really wanted to see me again, and that we could take things slower and i do like him, he's incredibly sweet, even if he was a bit of an arse when i ended it

I've been single for 16 years and I've adapted well (hint: I'm 16 years old).

I can't help but think that your desperation for a boyfriend is foolish at best.

If you do like him, why on Earth did you say:

he deserves payback for being such a pain in the arse!

You seem confused as to your feelings for this man. Confusion does not breed the best relationships, from what I can tell.

Again I say, do not do it FairyTInkArisen, it will only end in heartache.

And, here, we have confirmation.

There are more painful things in the world than being single for a couple of months. How about trying to get rid of a stalker? How about getting pregnant by someone you don't love? How about ended up married to the wrong guy? How about realizing you strung some poor schmuck along because you didn't want to be alone and then really, really broke his heart?
I don't like being alone though :(