NationStates Jolt Archive

I'm asexual. I also don't have any sort of sex drive, but there are some asexuals who do have sex drives but still aren't attracted to anyone.

Ah, well I'm not really informed on asexuality, so I guess it might be possible to not be attracted to anyone.

I'll look it up some time.:)

Ah, well I'm not really informed on asexuality, so I guess it might be possible to not be attracted to anyone.

I'll look it up some time.:)

All right. :)

Woah! Gravedug thread from '05, and it's still going? My word!

Even Whispering Legs posted in it :p

To say you can decide to be gay or not, or it's hard wired into your very being, is a little extreme I think. Plus both freud and jung implied it can change quite rapidly at times, and I think their opinions count for something.

Freud's opinion on gender matters means about as much as the next guys'. I can't think of any of his views on gender that are anywhere near accepted by psychologists.

Kinsey is really the best known name in matters of sexuality, I believe.

One way or another, I think it's pretty clear that we don't actively choose the person or type of person we're attracted to. It's a complex trait - one which exists along a spectrum, so I'm sure it can be affected by all sorts of things, but sexuality definitely isn't as simple as, "I want to be gay today!"

So - what if your sexuality is to be attracted to nobody?

Or to be attracted to both men and women? Bisexuality doesn't seem to exist in this scheme either.

In a world with over 6.5 billion people, with 3 billion of them living on under $2/day, and tens of thousands starving or dying of unclean water every day, I fail to see the logic in procreating and contributing to the furtherance of this. Even if you are in a "rich" country, your "super consumer" of a child will contribute disproportionately to over-consumption, and pollution, worstening the problem. Then, there is competition for ever-increasingly scarce resources of food, water, and (cheap) energy, leading to everything to war to terrorism.

It's illogical to put your children, who you will claim to love, into an ever-worsening world in this way, into a crisis-overpopulation by the time these children are elderly.

Amen.

Well, you clearly aren't willing to trust what they say... so how would you know?

...Not willing to trust what they say?

What are you talking about? I just said i've never met an actual Asexual human being, I didn't imply that there is no such thing.

...Not willing to trust what they say?

What are you talking about?

Yeah, right, so in other words you can't get a woman to sleep with you, and to get back at all of them, your 'asexual'. (or guys if your a girl)

Whatever

That.

Let me be blunt: all of you who whine about homosexuality not being a choice are flat out wrong. And so are the heterosexuals. Why? Allow me to make a statement that will shock you, titillate you, and challenge everything you have ever believed...

Sexuality is a choice.

That's right, you can read it again. Go ahead. I'll wait. Done? Good.

The fact is, unlike what the media will constantly try to tell you, with the incessant cries of "Do it!" and constant flood of sexual propaganda, you don't have to have sex.\ Humanity has free will. You may have sexual impulses, but the fact is, if you still have a fully functioning brain, you can decide to have sex or not have sex. What's more, you can decide who you can have it with. You can go "do" a guy, a girl, even a freakin' beaver if you so desire.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but you're confused. You think you're talking about sexual orientation, when what you're actually talking about is sexual behaviour. Sure, everyone has 'control' over their sexual behaviour, but sexual orientation is innate. Its expression is influenced by one's social environment; a gay person living in an extremely anti-gay social setting is less likely to be overt about their orientation and might try to convince themselves that they're straight, but who you find attractive is not a matter of conscious choice. Those feelings of attraction are what make a person gay or straight or bi, not acting (or refusing to act) on them. Even if I never had sex I would still be 99% gay because I'm almost exclusively attracted to men.

Now, some of you may argue that you are not attracted to a certain sex. But the fact is, it's only perception, and perceptions can be controlled. For example, I have trained myself to ne utterly anti-sexual.

So in short, homosexuality, heterosexuality, and sexuality in general is a choice.

You haven't 'trained' yourself to be of a 'different' sexual orientation, you've repressed your orientation. There's a difference. I love chocolate. Love it. Now I could go on a diet where I convince myself that I shouldn't eat it, condition myself to feel guilt over eating it, resolve myself to going without it, but that won't change the fact that my brain and my tongue are wired such that I love chocolate.

Frankly, though, I don't think that as someone who's sworn off sex you're in any position whatsoever to tell other people about sex anyway. What next? You'll swear off cheese and then claim to be a connaisseur? You can't speak credibly and authoritatively, with germane knowledge, about something you abstain from.

There's no way I'm going to make it the additional 30+ pages that exist in this thread, and I'm pretty sure people have already said everything I'm about to, but...

I'm not buying it. We have only your statement that you were a practicing, completely heterosexual person before attempting to change, and only another statement that you are no longer attracted to either sex in any way. Honestly, this doesn't wash in the first place, if you wanted sex to begin with why stop, if you didn't want sex than no change has occurred. It seems incredibly suspect.

However, say we do take you at face value. Your evidence, such that it is, is contradictory to all studies done so far as to successfully changing orientation. Thus, you would be an aberration in the data. At most, your situation would need to be accounted for in a comprehensive theory as to the whole of human sexuality. But it's probably unique.

What you've failed to demonstrate in the portion of the thread I've read through is why your situation would cause us to think differently on anyone else. You said yourself that you aren't 18 yet, your brain and body chemistry have not yet stopped changing. At some point you may get over what has apparently been self-administered aversion therapy to sex and figure out what your actual sexual orientation, if any, is.

You haven't 'trained' yourself to be of a 'different' sexual orientation, you've repressed your orientation. There's a difference. I love chocolate. Love it. Now I could go on a diet where I convince myself that I shouldn't eat it, condition myself to feel guilt over eating it, resolve myself to going without it, but that won't change the fact that my brain and my tongue are wired such that I love chocolate.

Frankly, though, I don't think that as someone who's sworn off sex you're in any position whatsoever to tell other people about sex anyway. What next? You'll swear off cheese and then claim to be a connaisseur? You can't speak credibly and authoritatively, with germane knowledge, about something you abstain from.

Maybe his case is different, but don't treat asexuality like it's just repression, because there is a difference. I completely disagree with him, because I don't have any sort of sex drive in the first place as well as not being attracted to anyone, and I don't remember ever waking up one day and getting to choose to be like that, but just not having sexual feelings is completely different from having them and repressing them. I don't see why gay or straight people would be able to choose when I wasn't able to... So, to continue your comparison, yes, someone who did that would be repressing their desires for chocolate, but that's completely different from someone who had no desire to even try chocolate in the first place.

And abstinence to me is just something that makes the most sense to me. Since I have no desire to try having sex and I'm not attracted to anyone, why bother having sex? And why can't I talk about how I feel and explain to others that this isn't repression or a disorder or anything like that? I don't try to dictate to others how I think they should behave, I just try to explain how I and others like me feel, why I behave the way I do, and that there is nothing wrong with me being the way I am.

Because assuming that a lack of desire for sex is automatically repression and not my actual orientation, especially after talking about how we have no say in how we are wired, seems kind of contradictory to me. I had no say over being wired to not be attracted to anyone and to have no sex drive. It's just the way I am.

But I agreed with you on much of your post. I feel the same way about my asexuality as you do about your homosexuality. Even if I had sex someday, I would still be asexual, because I'm not attracted to anyone and that's what defines it.

<snip>

I've said it once. I'll say it again. As far as I'm concerned you're lucky.

I've said it once. I'll say it again. As far as I'm concerned you're lucky.

Maybe. :)

Ah, well I'm not really informed on asexuality, so I guess it might be possible to not be attracted to anyone.


That's very big of you....

Except - you have just been told, by someone who is asexual. You 'guess it might be possible', in the face of witness testimony that tells you your 'guess' is already established.

That's very big of you....

Except - you have just been told, by someone who is asexual. You 'guess it might be possible', in the face of witness testimony that tells you your 'guess' is already established.

It's funny how some people are incapable of accepting the fact that others might have a different orientation than what their paradigms allow. Bisexuality is likewise often construed as "Gays who don't assume their sexuality entirely yet" or "People who just want to have sex with pretty much anyone".

Some people like Cheddar cheese. Others like Mozarella. Just how hard can it be to get your head around the fact that someone can like all cheese, or not like cheese at all?

...


That analogy just made me hungry for cheese.

Even if homosexuality is a choice, I still don't think there's anything wrong with it.

I don't see why choice is even part of the problem. Whether one is naturally inclined to be with someone of the same sex or chooses to, they're still doing nothing wrong.

Gay people are mentally insane.... its a birth defect, a form of retardation and it shows.
You're a form of retardation and it shows. Oh the wit.

You're a form of retardation and it shows. Oh the wit.

You've got a good point.

It's funny how some people are incapable of accepting the fact that others might have a different orientation than what their paradigms allow. Bisexuality is likewise often construed as "Gays who don't assume their sexuality entirely yet" or "People who just want to have sex with pretty much anyone".

Some people like Cheddar cheese. Others like Mozarella. Just how hard can it be to get your head around the fact that someone can like all cheese, or not like cheese at all?

...


That analogy just made me hungry for cheese.

I love you for that analogy. :fluffle:
I prefer Gouda myself, but I'll eat pretty much anything.

Who am I kidding... I just want to have sex with everyone. :p

That.

*Sigh* No, no, that was a joke thrown at the OP.

That's very big of you....

Except - you have just been told, by someone who is asexual. You 'guess it might be possible', in the face of witness testimony that tells you your 'guess' is already established.

So...I should just take someone else's word? Just because he says he's asexual I should believe him?

No, I think for something as complicated as Asexuality and the question as to whether there are people who are honest to god Asexuals, I'll read up on it.

But thanks anyway.

*Sigh* No, no, that was a joke thrown at the OP.

Sorry. Reading it over, I see I misread your "your" to be general rather than specifically directed at the OP.

So...I should just take someone else's word? Just because he says he's asexual I should believe him?

In the absence of any good reason to disbelieve him or her... yes?

I mean, people are obviously the most knowledgeable about their own sexual orientation, and unless you have some convincing reason to believe that he or she would lie or is mistaken....

Even if homosexuality is a choice, I still don't think there's anything wrong with it.

I don't see why choice is even part of the problem. Whether one is naturally inclined to be with someone of the same sex or chooses to, they're still doing nothing wrong.Congratulations. You just proved aliens are useless hippies.

Because of the following, simple facts:
1. In a universe as big and diverse as this one, it is almost infinitely unlikely that aliens do not exist, and...
2. Captain Obvious didn't just sue your ass off to the 10th generation for stealing his lines.

The conclusion is clear. As a species, we're as much in need of being taken out back and shot, as a horse with 8 broken legs. Yet those fucking aliens are just too soft to get it over with. Bet the scum takes hours peeling band aids off their kiddies tentacles too, just to be kind. Obviously we're insane beyond help, but just what the fuck is their excuse?!

In the absence of any good reason to disbelieve him or her... yes?

I mean, people are obviously the most knowledgeable about their own sexual orientation, and unless you have some convincing reason to believe that he or she would lie or is mistaken....

Well, I tend not to take what people say too seriously...

Cause, you know, they're people, usually confused or misinformed about things. Which isn't nescessarily bad, like I could be misinformed about the whole Asexual thing.

But sexuality is one of those things that people can really be confused about. For a long time.

And this person could be confused(not saying that this person is, not saying that its even probable that this person is). And just in case they are, I want to make sure I'm not. See?:)

Congratulations. You just proved aliens are useless hippies.

Because of the following, simple facts:
1. In a universe as big and diverse as this one, it is almost infinitely unlikely that aliens do not exist, and...
2. Captain Obvious didn't just sue your ass off to the 10th generation for stealing his lines.

The conclusion is clear. As a species, we're as much in need of being taken out back and shot, as a horse with 8 broken legs. Yet those fucking aliens are just too soft to get it over with. Bet the scum takes hours peeling band aids off their kiddies tentacles too, just to be kind. Obviously we're insane beyond help, but just what the fuck is their excuse?!

This is, of course, assuming there is a mode of interstellar transportation that could get those aliens here in a reasonable amount of time to proceed with the out-back-shooting before we blow ourselves up.

But sexuality is one of those things that people can really be confused about. For a long time.

Sure. And many gays and bisexuals believe, or at least loudly claim, that they are straight.

Does not mean that you shouldn't trust the testimony of one individual person claiming he or she is straight? Hardly... unless you have a good reason to believe otherwise.

But here's the question, if homosexual desire is a "drive" and "natural" for some part of the population, does that alone automatically make something ok?
No. The fact that it hurts no one and as such, is the right of anyone who is so inclined. No reason not to.

If you think about it we can extended this argument far beyond homosexuality alone. Say Zoophilia for example, they want to have sex with animal, that's their natural drive for those people, and they are technically not hurting anyone.
Yes they are.

Or take Incest for example, yea if they are both at legal age and they both consent in doing whatever they are doing, does that make it alright?
Not alright, considering the possible genetic defects for any child born, but only enough for me to frown upon. It should be allowed.

Or Necrophilia, they like to have sex with a dead corpse. Technically they can't be hurting that person either because the person is already dead.
As long as they didn't kill them, and get consent before they die (like organ donors) I wouldn't care.

Or if some people want to masturbate in public places, technically they are not hurting anyone either.
Sanitation issues.

So really, what are the difference? Why accept gay and nothing else? Why the double standards? If we want to take culture out of law making then all those need to be legalize. To claim homosexuality as something differ from any of those other sexual "drives" is just hypocrisy.

1. No, others can be interpreted as a lack of consent. Homosexual is consenting and therefore fine.

2. Who cares if the person holding said view is hypocritical? It doesn't make homosexuality any less relavant.


Homosexuality is a choice, much as breathing is. I mean you can force yourself to stop breathing, right...?

Not for an extended peroid of time. But I agree with your position.

Sanitation issues.

Make them clean up after themselves.

I have no problem with public masturbation, or even public sex, as long as it doesn't obstruct traffic.

This is, of course, assuming there is a mode of interstellar transportation that could get those aliens here in a reasonable amount of time to proceed with the out-back-shooting before we blow ourselves up.Considering our species, is it really too much to ask they just build a bloody big bomb, wrap it in an ocean, and accelerate the fucker into our planet? It's not like they have to invent FTL or come here in person. Yuck! Come here in person? I can't believe I just wrote that. I wouldn't want to come here in person, and I'm probably just as infected with stupid as everyone else on this sick planet.

As for waiting for us to off ourselves. There's two reasons they ought not to:
1. It's cruel. Just put us out of our misery already.
2. We're innovative little homicidal fuckers. There's always the chance we might build a bomb, wrap it in an ocean, and accelerate it into some poor blob's lovely little homeworld. No reason to take that chance.

*taps foot impatiently* Grrr! Get it over with already! Bloody alien hippies... Bet the fuckers live in Aquarius too..

Can you provide conclusive proof of this, or are you simply going to provide rhetoric?

Wow, monumental grave dig...I actually thought Neo-Anarchists was back. :(

Well, I tend not to take what people say too seriously...

Cause, you know, they're people, usually confused or misinformed about things. Which isn't nescessarily bad, like I could be misinformed about the whole Asexual thing.

But sexuality is one of those things that people can really be confused about. For a long time.

And this person could be confused(not saying that this person is, not saying that its even probable that this person is). And just in case they are, I want to make sure I'm not. See?:)

So...I should just take someone else's word? Just because he says he's asexual I should believe him?

No, I think for something as complicated as Asexuality and the question as to whether there are people who are honest to god Asexuals, I'll read up on it.

But thanks anyway.

Do you really think I have any reason to lie?

And here's a source:
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2372/is_3_41/ai_n6274004
Also, www.asexuality.org is a good place to find information about it.

Do you really think I have any reason to lie?

Haven't we been over this? I'm pretty sure they believe you're telling what you think is the truth. They just don't believe that what you think is the truth actually is.

Haven't we been over this? I'm pretty sure they believe you're telling what you think is the truth. They just don't believe that what you think is the truth actually is.

If they think that then that's their problem, not mine.

When did they make it your problem?

They didn't...I'm just saying...

If they think that then that's their problem, not mine.

When did they make it your problem?

epic lulz.

Sexuality is determined in the womb.

Also, Abstinence only sex education programs don't work, the stats are there.

Conservatives, pull your heads out of your asses, you all fail. This thread is just a giant facepalm.

@OP, perhaps you think sex is repulsive cuz you've only watched straight sex, sorry bud, but you set off my gaydar. Many people with your worldview come out of the closet, and I suspect you will in the next 5 years.

They didn't...I'm just saying...

Oh okay, I think I've been reading your posts as slightly more frustrated than I should be.

Yup. I never have wanted sex, don't want sex, and never will. I do have random hormonally triggered urges (My hormones are sadly, beyond my control) but my mind is pretty good at squashing them. Ah, and it also helps that I am horrifically ugly, stupid, and obnoxious. It's really a perfect bargain, you see. I desire no one, and no one desires me.

Wow. If anyone else said this, I would believe that because of their horrible self-image, they have decided never to let anyone get close to them because of the fear of rejection.

That's NOT a virtue, that's a sad, sad, sad situation.

Yes. Artificial insemination

Or plain old regular sex for the purpose of creating a child. Really.

Nothing makes me laugh more than people who think sex is only for procreation. The fact is that sex can be used for pleasure without intentions to reproduce, and it should be that way. We have evolved. We are no longer mindless animals who must be programmed to reproduce without reason or thought. Homosexuality, and heterosexual relations without reproduction, simply show how far the human race has evolved.