NationStates Jolt Archive

Really stupid classmate of mine:

"Is there an off button for gravity?"

The scary thing is, he never failed a single class.

I've been collecting stupid teacher quotes for quite sometime. Here are my favorites.

"Even if he doesn't say anything, write it down."
"It's North America...so it's north...of America. Yeah, that's right."
"This is important information. Now, everybody, where was Jessica Simpson born?"
"Good, good. There's no right answer. But here's what it REALLY means."
"When you disobey, you give into your lust, anger and obesity."

Good times, good times.

... you give into your anger.

I figured Palpatine wasn't dead! He's teaching high school now!

Indredibly retarded comeback from an incredibly retarded kid: "Well, your mom wears yellow!" Ok.....................................

Another gem from the elavator:
Someone ask me to press a floor. I pause a second before doing so.
Them: "It's 4. The number after 3, in case you can't count!
The guy then preceeds to get out on the wrong floor.........

Once the class was talking about oil consumption, someone brought up Nascar, and one of the students was moved to stand up out of his seat and proclaim "Nascar uses gas, not oil!"

"Are there still Greek people?" would be one very good example. :headbang:
There was also the guy who thought that Jennifer Lopez discovered America. :headbang:
And Catherine of Aragorn? Clearly someone had been watching The Lord of the Rings. This one was a teacher. :headbang:
And uncountable other ones. Also, it is almost depressing how many people will fall for:
"Look! A distraction!" :headbang:

Actually, you're wrong with that one http://www.nationmaster.com/encyclopedia/Catherine-of-Aragon

Aragorn was one of the christian states that survived in northern Spain during the middle ages before the reconquista.

Quoth some kid in my math class, when the teacher announced that she was collecting notebooks:

'Do you accept ashes that USED to be notes?'
She actually said it with a straight face. xD

In a college poly sci class, the professor asked a question, and a student answered it. Then this guy raised his hand and the professor called on him and he said "I was going to say that." With a straight face. Sharp as a marble that guy was. :rolleyes:

In elementary school I had a teacher that once forgot how to spell the word "it."






HOLY SHIT!

In elementary school I had a teacher that once forgot how to spell the word "it."






HOLY SHIT!

Oh yeah? My 8th Grade English teacher did too. Beat that.

in 7th grade a guy in my class who was and is still really stupid so my teacher asked him what is the capitol of Checkoslovakia and he said Germany

i find this funny because

1. checkoslovakia no longer existed when i was in 7th grade
2. germany is another country

*next poster will probably quote that and say duh* :headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :headbang:

Here is something very stupid a classmate of mine said "Wasn't 9/11, like, eight years ago?"

"Why did they bury john lennon in moscow?"

Honest-to-god.

Some woman asks a question about black people. (Note, said woman is black.)
History teacher: I'd appreciate it if you were more sensitive and didn't use that term?
Woman: What term?
History teacher: you know..."Black".
After class, the woman apologized to the teacher.

Today, I'd gone to hang with my friend and his girlfriend. While my friend tends to be rather well informed, his girlfriend is..well..very much the stereotypical blonde.

They'd asked what religion I am. Since my religion tends to be a nonissue, I apparently never talked about it much with them.

Me: Pagan.
Her: What's a Pagan? (Didn't mind this so much, some people may not know, tis fine.)
I start to explain, my friend says something about it involving witchcraft, and asks if I do it. The girlfriend says, "Wait. What's witchcraft?". She managed to remember, a few minutes later.

She later insisted some bug bite medicine called "Skeeter Stick" was "illegal" here (but apparently not in Seattle, where she's from), "because of something they put in it", and presumably decided it was illegal because we couldn't find it.

the second is true, they helped in the revolutionary war.

.....

Here's a good one: In my Physics class this year, we were doing a project where we had to plan a colonization of Mars, and then the teacher would grade our ideas according to current knowledge of Mars. Now, most people know that Mars has no breathable air, and less, but still many, people know that the air pressure on Mars is much less than on Earth (basically, if you don't have a contained, pressurized environment around you, your veins will explode). When we were discussing who what jobs should be created for individual groups to handle, we got to the part about clothing in the colony. Someone actually said, "I don't think we should have a clothing group, can't we just bring our own clothes?" And the sad thing is, the group in charge of the clothing (the group was created) said that the colonists would wear their own clothes, from Earth.
:headbang:

All right. So we're in a middle-school Geometry class, which was the highest math class middle school had to offer. These were supposedly the best and brightest my school had to offer.

So the class has just finished taking notes on a new section, and the guy next to me bursts out with, "So this one time, my aunt was taking a test for her job, right? And one of the questions was: if it takes a monkey with a peg leg three days to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle, how long does it take a fish to eat an apple?"

The class went dead silent, and then the teacher turned to the kid with, "And what kind of job does your aunt work?"

I should probably also point out that this was one of the guys who competed to see who could get the lowest scores on tests. I think his all-time low was 2 out of 20.

Same guy who, in the middle of a test, leaned over and whispered loudly, "What's the answer to number three?"
Seeing as it wasn't a multiple choice test, I found it safe to whisper back, "C."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"I'm gonna put it."
And he actually did. It amused the teacher, if nothing else.

In a middle school science class - "So do the octopusses grab things with their testicles?"

In a high school American literature class - "That's racist! Saying that black people used to be slaves is racist!"

In a high school geometry class - "Three points don't define a plane. They're all on different planes." (Teacher draws three dots on chalkboard and points out that they're all on the same plane.) "No, that's not a plane. That's a chalkboard. That doesn't count."

WARNING! OFF TOPIC! (but definitely a segue, not a non-sequitur.)



1. "If everyone in America had a gun, we would have alot less gun violence."



This, i actually believe is true. think about it. how likely are you to pull a gun on someone if you know that they, and everyone else around also has a gun? how likely are you to pull a gun if even half the people around you have guns? explain why dc has a 1.5% violent crime rate when there are 0 legal guns there? switzerland has one of the lowest violent crime rates in the world, and there are nearly three guns for every man, woman, and child there. honestly, if you make guns illegal, only criminals will own guns. restricting the access to firearms of law abiding citizens will do you no good.

Is the American public always taught pro-america lies!? For heavens sake, Yuri Gagaren was the first man in space. It seems simply because the Russians won the space race, the americans are so embarresed by it they won't teach their next generations the truth. I want to find out how deep this denial is in your education system, It scares me you know so little that a whole lecture room full of Americans believe that John Glenn, the 1st AMERICAN to orbit the earth, was the first HUMAN as well!

beyond that, glenn wasn't even the first AMERICAN in space. that honor would lie with alan shepherd

Way back in the stone age, or when I was in high school, some girl in my class asked:

"Who won the Civil War? Us or the French?"

That stopped the entire class dead in its tracks. The awkward silence and all.

More recently, a friend of mine who is a history major exclaim to me:

"I don't need to know any geography, I'm a history major!"

This came on the heels of talking about the Mason-Dixon Line. Oye!

Actually, you're wrong with that one http://www.nationmaster.com/encyclopedia/Catherine-of-Aragon

Aragorn was one of the christian states that survived in northern Spain during the middle ages before the reconquista.

that's araGON, man. no second r here. aragoRn was the king of men in Lord of the Rings. in the movie, he was played by Viggo Mortenson

In 12th grade in AP German, we had been covering the Cold War, Berlin Wall, and such for about a month. We had to do a small in-class project on it, so we got in little groups.

The first thing one of the girls in my group said was, "So, wait, I don't get it. What does Russia have to do with this? Why does Frau* keep talking about it?"

Another guy and I were laughing the entire time that we tried to explain it to her.

*Frau = Mrs., but is used as a slang term for any woman, in this case our teacher.

In English in 10th grade, our teacher told us of this story.

In a class a few years back, somehow the issue of the location of Washington DC came up. Now, for those unaware, DC exists in its own little plot of land between Maryland and Virginia. It is not officially located in any state. So anyway, two students were arguing back and forth that it was located in either of the aforementioned states.

One guy then said, "You're both wrong."
The teacher replied, "Yeah, *name*. Tell 'em where it really is."
And with a straight face, completely in belief of his answer, the student responded, "Canada."