NationStates Jolt Archive

Better? I think not
Haikus suck so hard, that my
screen just broke in two

You are mistaken:
The haiku is not at fault
You're reflection is.

i find an arse that
bleeds is conducive to great
haiku creation

i wipe my arse on
various sharp implements
but never haikus

Never want to see
How your creative process
Comes to fruition

You are mistaken:
The haiku is not at fault
You're reflection is.
Getting insultive?
Can't we be gentlemen?
I certainly can

Getting insultive?
Can't we be gentlemen?
I certainly can


A gentleman may
Only be created by
An Act of Congress

What in God's name is
an Act of Congress? I have
never heard of it

Getting insultive?
Can't we be gentlemen?
I certainly can

You insult my art
and my art returns insults
I agree: a truce.

Getting insultive?
Can't we be gentlemen?
I certainly can

Indeed I can. Your
poetry is like a pile
of steaming vomit

Why do I bother
to insult the writing of
others? Mine is awful

In fact, mine is like
the stench of dog turd, wafting
from a shitty shoe

A gentleman may
Only be created by
An Act of Congress

A single sentence
of seventeen syllables
the future haiku

As a side note, I
would like to say that I'm glad
this isn't politics

As a side note, I
would like to say that I'm glad
this isn't politics

I am also glad
Arguments are hard enough
in normal prose

Brown hates Blair all square,
We all detest both so there!!
2005 (two-thousand-and-five)

First time i've ever written a Haiku too!!

A single sentence
of seventeen syllables
the future haiku

Picky now, aren't we?
I thought the syllables must
Break five-seven-five

I am beginning
to like haikus. I will use
them in normal speech

Although such a thing
may be rather confusing
to acquaintances




Would you like a cup
of tea? I made a pot and
thought you might want some


How many sugars
would you like in your cuppa?
Also how much milk?

And extremely hard.
I have troubles typing here
where I have the time

Picky now, aren't we?
I thought the syllables must
Break five-seven-five

I was not breaking
down your sentence in haiku
it's good as any

Thank God it's Friday!
Can't believe this thread still runs -
Spamming in Haiku!

Spam spam spam spam spam,
Spam spam spam spam spam on toast
I shall vomit spam

Thank God it's Friday!
Can't believe this thread still runs -
Spamming in Haiku!

Spam spam spam spam spam,
Spam spam spam spam spam on toast
I shall vomit spam


But it is not spam
I was just demonstrating
my haiku of tea

But it is not spam
I was just demonstrating
my haiku of tea
Spam? Not you, old boy -
Me and my annoying rhyme
Spam spam spam spam spam

On another note,
You say Tomayto, I say
I WILL KILL YOU ALL!!

Slight psychotic phase,
But I am all better now
*Stabs fork in own eye*

Your haiku's insane
the mention of forks in eyes
has me quite worried

Your haiku's insane
the mention of forks in eyes
has me quite worried
Just think how I feel
With this fork stuck in my eye
*Passes out from pain*

Just think how I feel
With this fork stuck in my eye
*Passes out from pain*

I apologise
I did not consider that
the fork hurts your eye

Let me distract you
from the horrifying pain
with a bad haiku

boring boringness
with a large side of boring
That is pure haiku

boring boringness
with a large side of boring
That is pure haiku
Legless Pirates - Yarrgh
Disabled Sea Dogs are great -
Did you get some legs?

Hey there Chicken Pi,
People have gone and hijaked
Corrupt a wish thread

As much as I like
writing these haikus, it is
now my dinnertime

As much as I like
writing these haikus, it is
now my dinnertime
Pah, you little wimp
I have not eaten for years
Or, like, told the truth

Back to politics!
What should we discuss? Nazis
or George Bush's IQ?

Back to politics!
What should we discuss? Nazis
or George Bush's IQ?
What's there to discuss?
Nazi are just rascist scum;
George a big thick prick

One may wonder why
The Left hates the U.S.
Squealing in envy

Power they have not
No power since the Cold War
Impotent leftists

One may wonder why
The Left hates the U.S.
Squealing in envy

Power they have not
No power since the Cold War
Impotent leftists
China's growing fast
Soon biggest economy
On entire Earth.

UK Government
Labour s'posed to be the Left
Goddamn centralists

These two facts hel show
That the left's not dead and gone
TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

China selling out
Was the last Left surrender
WalMart in China

Blair is a poodle
A screw job worse than Clinton
Left in name only

Marx is a lost name
Fashion statement in rich home
Coffeetable book

I like food, food is
good. I like food, food is good.
Food. Food. Foohoohood

Haiku Haiku Hai-
ku Haiku Haiku Haiku
Haikus are good? Yes!

I had some trouble
logging back on to the Jolt
forums. It's fine now

I thought I may have
been banned for haiku spamming
I guess I haven't

Why the hell did I
receive an error message
when first I logged on?

Fasten seatbelts tight
Your seat cushions float gently
Headsets five dollars

I had some trouble
logging back on to the Jolt
forums. It's fine now

I thought I may have
been banned for haiku spamming
I guess I haven't

Why the hell did I
receive an error message
when first I logged on?
Conspiracy! Yes:
Get NUMBNUTS straight on to it,
Invent naff theory

Conspiracy! Yes:
Get NUMBNUTS straight on to it,
Invent naff theory

NUMBNUTS insists that
Myrth heads a plot to rule all
internet forums

Myrth hates the haikus
But I am in love with them
Troubled horizon.

It is termed spamming,
Haiku deletion? Maybe
Honorable death.

It is termed spamming,
Haiku deletion? Maybe
Honorable death.
Maybe Haikus will
Be my demise. A forum
Hari-Kari, Hmm?

NUMBNUTS insists that
Myrth heads a plot to rule all
internet forums
Not only NUMBNUTS
Everyone knows now that Myrth
Is the Government

Not only NUMBNUTS
Everyone knows now that Myrth
Is the Government

Anti totali-
-tarian poet, I shall
perform Haiku-kiri

Shoehorning into
poetry, words which don't fit
is a bad idea

Anti totali-
-tarian poet, I shall
perform Haiku-kiri

Shoehorning into
poetry, words which don't fit
is a bad idea
Also, grammar seems
To go out the window for
Haikus to work out

I hate liberals
They have no balls and lie to
Everyone about Bush

Terrorist suck bad
Kill them fast, do not hug them
Like Democrats do

Drunk Ted Kennedy
His car has killed more than
My gun ever will

Also, grammar seems
To go out the window for
Haikus to work out

I am unbothered
by that. However, splitting
words is just plain wrong

I hate liberals
They have no balls and lie to
Everyone about Bush

Terrorist suck bad
Kill them fast, do not hug them
Like Democrats do

Drunk Ted Kennedy
His car has killed more than
My gun ever will


My, you seem rather
angry about liberals
do you want a hug?

I hate liberals
They have no balls and lie to
Everyone about Bush

Terrorist suck bad
Kill them fast, do not hug them
Like Democrats do

Drunk Ted Kennedy
His car has killed more than
My gun ever will
I just read that as
Flame flame flame flame flame flame hate
Welcome to my world!

If I could just say
<Insert Bush flame in this space>
Chokes on pretzels - fool

Ted Kennedy ain't
The only DUI - there's
One more don't you know :D

Democrats don't hug
They're just like republicans:
Blue instead of Red

Republicans like
To stone gays and preach for God
Shame they are all dense

Stoning gays is better
Than screwing them you skank hippy
Go suck a weiner

(Isn't it great that we can write haikus back and forth to each other as responses?)

Stoning gays is better
Than screwing them you skank hippy
Go suck a weiner

(Isn't it great that we can write haikus back and forth to each other as responses?)
I will bet you are
A repressed rich gay white man
Hiding your true self

Also you can't count
That haiku goes six-eight-five
One too many, twice

Man, this chat has turned
nasty. And my head hurts from
too many haikus

Haikus are okay
in moderation, but in
excess they're quite bad

Man, this chat has turned
nasty. And my head hurts from
too many haikus

Haikus are okay
in moderation, but in
excess they're quite bad
I call this one 'ode to jim'

No no no no no
No no no no no no no
No no yes they are

Seriously, I
shall end this now. my mind is
addled by haikus

Accidentally
I am writing my coursework
in Haiku form. Crap.

Seriously, I
shall end this now. my mind is
addled by haikus

Accidentally
I am writing my coursework
in Haiku form. Crap.
What coursework is it?
If it's Japanese Culture,
You will get an A!

If it's about maths
Haikus will be pointless there
Haiku Equations?

What coursework is it?
If it's Japanese Culture,
You will get an A!

If it's about maths
Haikus will be pointless there
Haiku Equations?

I would come up with a haiku answer, but I'm getting tired now. I'm alternating between coursework, revision and haikus. It's geography, by the way.

Bush is supreme boob
Americans will suffer
please bring back Bubba

Bush is supreme boob
Americans will suffer
please bring back Bubba

Bubba brought surplus
not the big national debt
so we could buy head

Snow fall on the avenues on Grozny
Europe snows slumberly :sniper:
The Shadow of America shames

Snow fall on the avenues on Grozny
Europe snows slumberly :sniper:
The Shadow of America shames
1, 2, 3, 4, 5?
You do know haiku don't you?
Very class poem Mush.

I would come up with a haiku answer, but I'm getting tired now. I'm alternating between coursework, revision and haikus. It's geography, by the way.
Hmm, topical if
Japanese Geography,
written in haiku.

Of course if it isn't on Japan it would be pointless

Snow fall on the avenues on Grozny
Europe snows slumberly :sniper:
The Shadow of America shames
Wow. Serious thought gone into that one. Is Grozny in the Balkans? If so, I understand. If not, I'm lost.

Politik Haiku
Confuse those who know nothing,
Including myself

EDIT: Oh, and Haiku's go 5-7-5 on syllables. Still very good though

One may wonder why
The Left hates the U.S.
Squealing in envy

Power they have not
No power since the Cold War
Impotent leftistsTo critique is not
"Hate;" absence of comments is
a dictatorship.

Democracy is
About finding the common
Ground among us all.

I'm alternating between coursework, revision and haikus. It's geography, by the way.Geography course
Papers get extra credit
When done in haiku. :p

Snow fall on the avenues on Grozny
Europe snows slumberly
The Shadow of America shamesChechnya is a
Tragedy; too much sorrow
Stains its rocks, its snow.

Martin Luther King
"I have a dream that one day,"
We are still waiting.

Martin Luther King
"I have a dream that one day,"
We are still waiting.

was it just a dream?
acid headed sixties crap?
a fine idea, though

Geography course
Papers get extra credit
When done in haiku. :p



Assess some methods
of prediction and how good
they are to reduce

the effects natural
hazards have upon people
(60 mark question)


remember to link
to the question throughout your
answer. it's vital.

Also, you need to
apply appropriate case
studies in your work

Okay, you try it
Assess the effectiveness
of some prediction

techniques reducing
the effects of natural
hazards on people


remember to link
to the question throughout your
answer. it's vital.

Also, you need to
use appropriate case
studies in your work

best haiku ever
chicken pi is champion
of the haiku form

however it was
hard to work out exactly
where the question was

no punctuatuion
makes haiku difficult to
understand, chicken

best haiku ever
chicken pi is champion
of the haiku form

however it was
hard to work out exactly
where the question was

no punctuatuion
makes haiku difficult to
understand, chicken


It will be tricky
to fix, as words were removed
to make it all fit

It will be tricky
to fix, as words were removed
to make it all fit
This is the major
Problem with all our haikus
grammar sense make no

This is the major
Problem with all our haikus
grammar sense make no


Well, it's much better
now. in fact I'm tempted to
have it in my sig.

Well, it's much better
now. in fact I'm tempted to
have it in my sig.
What a nice idea,
But what about old NUMBNUTS?
Ceasing to exist?

I have some trouble
Finding any decent stuff
To attempt to sig

Lately I have put
My haiku into my sig
Lack of alternates?

What a nice idea,
But what about old NUMBNUTS?
Ceasing to exist?

I have some trouble
Finding any decent stuff
To attempt to sig

Lately I have put
My haiku into my sig
Lack of alternates?

I recommend a
quote by Skapadroe, he is
skilled in such matters

I would like to keep
NUMBNUTS. However, I don't
want a big uber sig.

Not a haiku -- but a possible sig for you

Those who are in battle slain
Will always rise to fight again.
Those who quit and run away,
Aren't half as fun as those who stay.

Saddam--oh he's bad
Is that enough to invade?
Must be. Bush says "yes".

Borrow, spend, conquer.
Bush keeps the wealthy happy.
Is it all worth it?

Saddam--oh he's bad
Is that enough to invade?
Must be. Bush says "yes".

Borrow, spend, conquer.
Bush keeps the wealthy happy.
Is it all worth it?
Simple answer: no.
Longer answer: Yes with but...
Real answer: Ha!

Not a haiku -- but a possible sig for you

Those who are in battle slain
Will always rise to fight again.
Those who quit and run away,
Aren't half as fun as those who stay.
Bloodlust, your poem,
Scares the living shit from me -
Dead rise from their graves?

He who fights and runs,
Starts the famous clicheéd phrase,
Ends with limbs intact :D

Simple answer: no.
Longer answer: Yes with but...
Real answer: Ha!


Bloodlust, your poem,
Scares the living shit from me -
Dead rise from their graves?

He who fights and runs,
Starts the famous clicheéd phrase,
Ends with limbs intact :D


If you're in combat
And the odds aren't fair,
Don't look for me,
I won't be there.

A Red Elephant?
They don't care about the earth.
Get a new logo.

Social progression.
It scares me... Where is my gun?
I need to hunt [slur].

I love Jesus --- yay!
He touches me ev'ry day!
I still don't like gays.

Democrats are bad.
And Republicans are worse.
::Sigh:: To Canada.

I'm against welfare.
I'm for government spending.
You let me vote --- why?

Please spay or neuter
Your conservatives/rednecks.
'Cause they cost too much.

An ancient artform.
Trounced, disrepected, sadly.
Fascist hate asians.

My sarcasm bites.
My rhymes are weak and aren't fresh.
At least I can think.

This really is fun.
This is how we should debate.
Keeps posts quite concise.

This really is fun.
This is how we should debate.
Keeps posts quite concise.
I use it a lot,
Frees the mind from useless junk,
Spelling and grammar

I do not know why
People hate each other so,
Maybe it's the genes

And on a lighter note:

Cuckoo Cuckoo Cuck-
Oo Cuckoo Cuckoo Cuckoo
Cuckoo Cuckoo *bang*

Just remember who
Brought you this thread of haiku
John Browning, that's who

Just remember who
Brought you this thread of haiku
John Browning, that's who

But you seem right wing.
And since poetry is free.
I think I'll forget.

Cuckoo Cuckoo Cuck-
Oo Cuckoo Cuckoo Cuckoo
Cuckoo Cuckoo *bang*

Could you withdraw your
Haiku? I am a cuckoo
activist, upset


just on a side note,
Bloodninja pwns dumb people
who do cybersex

Could you withdraw your
Haiku? I am a cuckoo
activist, upset

Slash stab slash stab slash:
Haiku of a psychopath,
Or maybe a chef?

Probably neither -
Just me with my cuckoo knife
Killing cuckoo kids :D :D

just on a side note,
Bloodninja pwns dumb people
who do cybersex
Cybersex is shite,
Umms and Oohs and ahhs and stuff
Between two poor guys :eek:

Cybersex is shite,
Umms and Oohs and ahhs and stuff
Between two poor guys :eek:

computer's hushed hum,
two 60 year olds pretend
to be blonde schoolgirls

Radical Islam
Seething hatred fuels killing
Suicide bomber

Radical Islam
Seething hatred fuels killing
Suicide bomber
Not helped along by
Hatred from the made-up state
US and Isr'el

Israel valid?
Is a Palestine valid?
Arbitrary names

People like to kill
We are looking for reasons
Reasons that are lies

Zeppistan saying,
"John, you are hijacking thread!"
I don't think I am.

Bush for four more years
Does he have integrity?
Only time will tell

Inauguration
Meanwhile, French build a big plane
Pepper spray in face

Inauguration
Meanwhile, French build a big plane
Pepper spray in faceForty million
Obscene and immoral when
Children have no food

Forty million
Obscene and immoral when
Children have no food
What? Starving children?
Put it to the back of mind
While you get obese

That's the American way!