NationStates Jolt Archive


Girls for Sale

Pages : [1] 2
imported_AmandaTheGreat
12-01-2005, 07:07
Attention all you attainable men out there: how much are you willing to offer to have two girls for the price of one?

The nations of Gorgamin and AmandaTheGreat are offering you the deal of the century.

Not only do these lovely ladies creative and intelligent, but they would look great on either side of you.

Now, I bet you all are asking why would two ladies do this, well here is the answer.

Our dear and beloved AmandaTheGreat has been single and wanted to try something new and pulled Gorgamin along. After discussing it with her fellow lady they thought it would be fun and great for publicy all around.

So, here is what we are asking. We want to know what you would do or offer our ladies in turn to have them both at your side.

Thanks.

Sid Sly
PR for AmandaTheGreat Channel Hotz 4 Girlz
Nureonia
12-01-2005, 07:14
Our nation leads our region in arms manufacturing and chocolate. Our chocolate could kick the Swiss chocolate's ass.

And everyone knows ladies use chocolate as a replacement for men. If chocolate could make babies we'd be obsolete.

That's why I should win.
imported_AmandaTheGreat
12-01-2005, 07:17
Hmmm...well, I will take that into consideration. I do love chocolate. Although, an ambundance would make us fat.
~Lady Amanda
Colodia
12-01-2005, 07:19
The chance for them to be at my arm.

Then I would tape my pubes onto both my arms.

Wait, did I say that aloud? Good.
Goed Twee
12-01-2005, 07:21
I would see if their interests were the same as mine, if I found them attractive, and if we could be friends well. Then, if all those worked out fine, I would attempt to attract their attention to my good points and flirt rather badly.

In short-absolutly nothing out of the ordinary. I don't whore myself out.
Pantylvania
12-01-2005, 07:21
We want to know what you would do or offer our ladies in turn to have them both at your side.I've got a job and a penis. Will those suffice?
Nureonia
12-01-2005, 07:22
An abundance of chocolate makes you fat? Not if you don't suck at making it. We're a consumerist whore state. Of course we have non-fat chocolate. We also have non-carb chocolate and non-flavor chocolate, for the lower classes who need to get back to work in the factories.
imported_AmandaTheGreat
12-01-2005, 07:24
Hmmm, nice boys are always fun, don't you think KT?

Now, wait, money and sex. Now, but wait are we ready for little juniors pitter pattering around?
Outer Heaven MK II
12-01-2005, 07:25
Well, I suppose RL, I could give you love, care, a home...and jewelery.
imported_AmandaTheGreat
12-01-2005, 07:27
*Looks to Lady KT*

*Yawns.*

I need some excitement. Something different.

*Sparkle in her eyes*

~Lady Amanda
Gorgamin
12-01-2005, 07:35
Originally posted by Colodia
The chance for them to be at my arm.

Then I would tape my pubes onto both my arms.

Wait, did I say that aloud? Good.


Oh my, we do love hairy men, don't we Amanda?



Originally posted by Pantylvania
I've got a job and a penis. Will those suffice?

Well dear, that entirely depends...
Outer Heaven MK II
12-01-2005, 07:37
However, being the ruler of a large nation, I could give up three very nice planets for you ladies, give you jewelerry, a ship, slaves, anything.
The Lightning Star
12-01-2005, 07:37
Oh oh!

We can go riding through the slums of Panama City and Colon(the most run down city in the world baisically) and shoot hobos with shotguns!

Hows that for exciting?
Mallardvania
12-01-2005, 07:37
Well, what about considering the ruling couple of a country. Everyone knows that guys lose almost all of their upper brain function when they see two women together. So to be with a couple, their heads will explode. You could trade off nights being with the male or female. Think of the countries we could take over just by holding hands and whispering into each others ears and making the guys faint? Not a drop of blood would be spilt.
Keruvalia
12-01-2005, 07:38
I'll be needing a fish sandwich and a Coke before going any further into consideration on this matter.
Gorgamin
12-01-2005, 07:46
*hands Keruvalia a fish sandwich and a Coke*

You'd better be worth it...
imported_AmandaTheGreat
12-01-2005, 07:47
OHII, hmmm, planets! Now, that sounds out of this world!

Oh no! The Lightening Star, I would not like to shoot someone, especially a hobo they have disease and I might get one.

Mallardvania, this is an interesting thought. I will consider this one also.

Keruvalia, oh fish and coke, my favorite. Just don't think I will kiss you. Well, right away.

Wink wink.

~Lady Amanda
The Lightning Star
12-01-2005, 07:50
Oh no! The Lightening Star, I would not like to shoot someone, especially a hobo they have disease and I might get one.

Mallardvania, this is an interesting thought. I will consider this one also.

Keruvalia, oh fish and coke, my favorite. Hands a fish sandwhich over with a bite taken out and cracks open a can of coke. Here enjoy.

Wink wink.

~Lady Amanda

WHAT? You would not like to shoot a hobo?

Trust me, these are long-range weapons. You just sit in a car, lure them out into the open with 3 dollar bills(yes, i said three dollar bills), and snipe 'em from a distance. No risk of infection, and they'd be dead.

Also, you're helping them. You either let them live in agony, or end their miserable lives so that they go to the afterlife(if there is one).

Or if you choose to use my shotgun, you just put on a special germ-suit.
Keruvalia
12-01-2005, 07:52
I may also be needing pictures and some sort of resume. I mean ... being the discriminating shopper that I am, I certainly would never purchase anything sight unseen.

Your PR people need to come up with some sort of press release. After all - and with no disrespect to the fish sandwich - what have you to offer someone who routinely spins disks at raves for gyrating masses of X (or E, depending on your generation) addled 15-20 somethings?

Head shots, man! We need head shots! 8x10 glossy black and whites of the group is also essential.
Gorgamin
12-01-2005, 07:53
You expect Amanda and myself to ride through the slums? Really! The nerve of some people!
Pantylvania
12-01-2005, 07:54
I've also got 20 pounds of spaghetti and 25 jars of spaghetti sauce to get me through the winter. And some anime DVDs. And a Kerry/Edwards campaign button that might be really rare and valuable by now.
Zeuslandia
12-01-2005, 07:55
Just my two pennies:
I recall listening to an urban legend, saying that the ancient chinese had a ideogram depicting a roof meaning "home", adding a pig to that would make it mean prosperity, adding a woman to the latter would make it mean happiness, but adding a second woman "sign" would turn into "wretchedness".

Now I'm sure the chinese scholars are smarter than that, but why on Earth would someone want to keep two lovely girls at once (well, except for a short period of time) ?

So, in the long term, I'm afraid my little country is not interested in the deal. Nevertheless, the President's summer residence, aka the Kinky Palace, has a few free dorms and a very well supplied dungeon. Feel free to pay a visit during the weekend, there will be a party.
imported_AmandaTheGreat
12-01-2005, 07:55
I do love to get messy and food is so appealing...

I wonder if they have spagetti sauce fights like they have mud fights....

~Lady Amanda
The Lightning Star
12-01-2005, 07:57
You expect Amanda and myself to ride through the slums? Really! The nerve of some people!

In armored caravans. Duh.

And after the hunt, I shall have my man-servants pick up our catches and throw them in the hut. I will then skin them and shred their meat into dog food. I will use their bones to make....stuff... and their skin to make clothes for my personal army.

Anyhoo, then we go to this Uber flying house/plane/ huge helicopter, and we fly over the pristine Carribean ocean, then over the deep atlantic, then over the harsh yet beautiful sahara, and then over the Iranian mountains, and then over the lush Indus valley, until we finally land in Islamabad, where we go to my large house in the mountains.

And then we take a ride and shoot hobos in Rawalpindi :D
Nation of Fortune
12-01-2005, 07:59
I have scars! A cougar! and I have a mercenary army under my control! I also have connections to get just about anything one could imagine, plus I can ride horses. Then to top it all off I have a friend in an insane asylum, his name is Toma.

(someone seems to have forgotten about an RP called serenity keeper............)
Pantylvania
12-01-2005, 08:01
[pours organic spaghetti sauce on Lady Amanda's boobs]

messy spaghetti sauce fight!

edit: see, this is why I'm still single
Findecano Calaelen
12-01-2005, 08:01
how about the going rate of $2?
The Lightning Star
12-01-2005, 08:02
I have scars! A cougar! and I have a mercenary army under my control! I also have connections to get just about anything one could imagine, plus I can ride horses. Then to top it all off I have a friend in an insane asylum, his name is Toma.

(someone seems to have forgotten about an RP called serenity keeper............)

Pffffffft.

No one likes pyscos.

Now where is my hobo-skinning knife...

*laughs maniacally and crazilly!*

MWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!
Nova Terra Australis
12-01-2005, 08:04
how about the going rate of $2?

How about $1.75?
imported_AmandaTheGreat
12-01-2005, 08:05
Nation of Fortune, oops I forgot about that one. We will have to start it up again.

Eek! Ouch! THat is hot. Wiping the red sauce off of her chest.

Next time make sure it is cool.
Nation of Fortune
12-01-2005, 08:05
Pffffffft.

No one likes pyscos.

Now where is my hobo-skinning knife...

*laughs maniacally and crazilly!*

MWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!
actually it's short term memory loss
Nation of Fortune
12-01-2005, 08:06
Nation of Fortune, oops I forgot about that one. We will have to start it up again.

Eek! Ouch! THat is hot. Wiping the red sauce off of her chest.

Next time make sure it is cool.
thank you I was enjoying that rp
Keruvalia
12-01-2005, 08:07
But, then again, I'm not too sure my economy can handle such a purchase ...

http://nseconomy.thirdgeek.com/nseconomy.php?nation=keruvalia
Findecano Calaelen
12-01-2005, 08:08
How about $1.75?
has to be divisible by 2 mate.... $1.70
Nova Terra Australis
12-01-2005, 08:09
has to be divisible by 2 mate.... $1.70

Hmmm... that's a good point. $1.50 then.
Findecano Calaelen
12-01-2005, 08:11
Hmmm... that's a good point. $1.50 then.
:D 75c each girls, your not gonna beat it.
imported_AmandaTheGreat
12-01-2005, 08:11
Hmm...boys sorry to burst your bubble, but one strand of my hair cost about 1.50, not the total package. Yet, I must give you props for trying.
Gorgamin
12-01-2005, 08:12
Originally posted by Keruvalia
But, then again, I'm not too sure my economy can handle such a purchase ...

http://nseconomy.thirdgeek.com/nsec...ation=keruvalia

Oh surely you could stretch your budget...just a little? We're worth it. I promise.
Keruvalia
12-01-2005, 08:13
I bet my smooth jazz and primo sticky-icky shall win the day.
Tarlachia
12-01-2005, 08:13
*plots quietly*

I suggest a hot tub with wine on the side, a fine dinner catered by a very good chef I know and perhaps a little sailing on the ocean in the moonlight?
imported_AmandaTheGreat
12-01-2005, 08:15
Hey, I need my beauty rest. See y'all in the morning.

~Lady Amanda
Findecano Calaelen
12-01-2005, 08:16
Hmm...boys sorry to burst your bubble, but one strand of my hair cost about 1.50, not the total package. Yet, I must give you props for trying.
hmmm people place too great a value on class these days.
I can get 5 skanky chicks for that price.
Gorgamin
12-01-2005, 08:17
Orginally posted by Tarlachia
I suggest a hot tub with wine on the side, a fine dinner catered by a very good chef I know and perhaps a little sailing on the ocean in the moonlight?

*Yawn* Boring. Creativity counts, boys. Creativity counts.
Pantylvania
12-01-2005, 08:18
I'll take you with me to Ohayo Con this weekend so we can eat pocky and watch anime together. And the spaghetti sauce isn't hot yet when I pour it from the jar. Oh, and I've got a car.
-Noir-
12-01-2005, 08:19
ohh...this sounds interesting...i'll just watch for now...[plots secret plan to kidnap the two ladies and then ride off into the sunset laughing at the fools who didn't think of this idea in the first place...muahahaha!!!]
Nova Terra Australis
12-01-2005, 08:19
Hmm...boys sorry to burst your bubble, but one strand of my hair cost about 1.50, not the total package. Yet, I must give you props for trying.

You misunderstand, I was offering the privilege of being offered my... services for $1.50. :D
Gorgamin
12-01-2005, 08:23
Well boys, it seems that I too must have my beauty rest. Looking this good isn't easy. Keep the offers coming, be assured that each will be considered by Lady Amanda or myself in due time. In the meantime, you have each earned a goodnight kiss. :)

*hands them out*

And with that, I am off for the night.
Tarlachia
12-01-2005, 08:24
All right then...

A full body massage...

Your own island with myself as your servant...

A scuba dive in the nude... :P

and to top it all off... I'll throw in a few pet dragons for ya!
Keruvalia
12-01-2005, 08:24
Hey, I need my beauty rest. See y'all in the morning.

~Lady Amanda

41 posts into the negotiations? BAH! You tire to easily ... stamina is not just for stallions.
Nation of Fortune
12-01-2005, 08:24
*Yawn* Boring. Creativity counts, boys. Creativity counts.
we could lobotomize a complete stranger, and then we could assassinate someone, and then to top the night off we could drop m-80's on Tarlachia's hot tub from a helicopter
-Noir-
12-01-2005, 08:27
hmmm...those other suitors are getting on my nerves...*decides to shoot them in the head later*

((how 'bout a pic of the two lovely ladies so that I (because everyone else'll be dead) will know how they look like))


OOC: that that for creativity!!!
-Noir-
12-01-2005, 08:28
shoot...Nation of Fortune posted before i did...rats...
Tarlachia
12-01-2005, 08:28
I will launch a thousand ships in search for the lovely ladies!

...

Oh...for all ya others....





I've got pics...
-Noir-
12-01-2005, 08:29
I want pics......
Nation of Fortune
12-01-2005, 08:30
shoot...Nation of Fortune posted before i did...rats...
just wanted to be creative
Tarlachia
12-01-2005, 08:32
Now now...if I shared, what would be the benefits to myself?

NADA!

So...no...

Lo siento, mis contendores del mundo!
-Noir-
12-01-2005, 08:34
*puppy dog eyes*

pweese!!!!!!!




hahahahahahahhahahahah...this is fun...plus reading that thread where some nation attaced AMF...i needed a break...
Tarlachia
12-01-2005, 08:36
Bow down and declare me as your superior in anything and everything...

*raises arms outward and looks at you, waiting*
Findecano Calaelen
12-01-2005, 08:40
how about a sky dive on to the back of a cruise ship, followed by a meal of exotic foods on the deck, a dance then a relaxing swim in a private pool, then a massage in our suite.

gee I never knew I had that in me.
Nova Terra Australis
12-01-2005, 08:44
Bow down and declare me as your superior in anything and everything...

*raises arms outward and looks at you, waiting*

If I were you, Noir, I'd just check out the NS player pics. ;)
Tarlachia
12-01-2005, 08:44
how about a sky dive on to the back of a cruise ship, followed by a meal of exotic foods on the deck, a dance then a relaxing swim in a private pool, then a massage in our suite.

gee I never knew I had that in me.

My idea...*rolls eyes*

A trip to the New York Yankees, followed by a VIP tour and invite to a party with celebrities of your choice, and finally capping off with a simple cuddle and watching a chick flick of your choice!

After all, would you ladies just rather be preferring people who are down to earth and passionate about life and of course, you?
Nation of Fortune
12-01-2005, 08:51
My idea...*rolls eyes*

A trip to the New York Yankees, followed by a VIP tour and invite to a party with celebrities of your choice, and finally capping off with a simple cuddle and watching a chick flick of your choice!

After all, would you ladies just rather be preferring people who are down to earth and passionate about life and of course, you?
Speaking of the New York Yankees, My next door neighbor is Scott Brosius. And before I moved here I had no Idea who he was. I'm not too into baseball
Nova Terra Australis
12-01-2005, 08:55
how about a sky dive on to the back of a cruise ship, followed by a meal of exotic foods on the deck, a dance then a relaxing swim in a private pool, then a massage in our suite.

gee I never knew I had that in me.

Hmmm... How to top this? How about I compose a song about you (one each) and sing it to you with my trusty lyre in hand, write a novel about you (again, one each), convert your records to CD digitally remastered and filtered, then bring you to my sex-ed class for a... demonstration (think of the benifits for those young adults witnessing a real pro in action!) Afterwards, I could allow you to buy me a very nice dinner.
Now most men wouldn't think of that, would they! :D
Sdaeriji
12-01-2005, 08:56
You guys are trying waaaay to hard.
Nation of Fortune
12-01-2005, 08:57
You guys are trying waaaay to hard.
i'm just killing time, I have a harem (yes in RL) so it doesn't really matter to me
Keruvalia
12-01-2005, 08:57
Having now seen a pic of one of the pair, I shall up my offer. Along with the smooth jazz and primo sticky-icky, we now offer a complete, all expenses paid tour of the single greatest Rave scene on the planet - none of that stupid NY Emo crap - with free shockers all around.
Keruvalia
12-01-2005, 08:58
You guys are trying waaaay to hard.

Nah ... I never try hard ... matter of fact ... I rarely try at all. I'm a lazy, lazy man.
Nihilistic Beginners
12-01-2005, 08:59
I read this thread and i have come to the conclusion that...you people are really really creepy.
*shudders*
Sdaeriji
12-01-2005, 08:59
Nah ... I never try hard ... matter of fact ... I rarely try at all. I'm a lazy, lazy man.

Indeed you are. However, you converted to Islam, which is more than I have accomplished in the past 12 months.
Tarlachia
12-01-2005, 08:59
You'd have THEM pay for the meals? Personally, with all the women I've encountered, I've always heard the same thing "Men should pay if they care about us..."

Besides, it's the gentlemanly thing to do...
Sdaeriji
12-01-2005, 09:00
I read this thread and i have come to the conclusion that...you people are really really creepy.
*shudders*

Back at ya, sexy.;)
Sdaeriji
12-01-2005, 09:02
You'd have THEM pay for the meals? Personally, with all the women I've encountered, I've always heard the same thing "Men should pay if they care about us..."

Besides, it's the gentlemanly thing to do...

The real thing to do is not pretend to be something you're not to try to impress a girl with the intentions of parlaying that into sex. Apparently, so I'm told, lying and being disingenuous are unappealing to women.
Tarlachia
12-01-2005, 09:04
Well that's just the thing. I've been raised by the men in my family to be a true gentleman. I'm not shittin' you either. You wouldn't believe the number of women who like to talk to me and hang out, simply because I am who I am.
Vittos Ordination
12-01-2005, 09:04
I would have to taste some cooking before I was to bid on a woman.
Sdaeriji
12-01-2005, 09:06
Well that's just the thing. I've been raised by the men in my family to be a true gentleman. I'm not shittin' you either. You wouldn't believe the number of women who like to talk to me and hang out, simply because I am who I am.

I was raised by my Italian Roman Catholic mother, and was heavily influenced by her whole side of the family. I know what you mean.
Nihilistic Beginners
12-01-2005, 09:07
Back at ya, sexy.;)
Thank you. You are so bufo boreas-like
Sdaeriji
12-01-2005, 09:08
Thank you. You are so bufo boreas-like

Hmm. That reference evaded me.
Findecano Calaelen
12-01-2005, 09:08
My idea...*rolls eyes*

sorry i dont read inferior posts :)
maybe I should change it.



We meet and have hot dirty sex for forty days and forty nights.
Nihilistic Beginners
12-01-2005, 09:10
Hmm. That reference evaded me.
You have to live in the Valley to get what it means
Tarlachia
12-01-2005, 09:10
Sdaeriji at least knows what I'm talking about...

I'm Irish and Polish descent, and Roman Catholic too. Not that religion matters in this thread.
Nova Terra Australis
12-01-2005, 09:11
You'd have THEM pay for the meals? Personally, with all the women I've encountered, I've always heard the same thing "Men should pay if they care about us..."

Besides, it's the gentlemanly thing to do...

My post was supposed to be ridiculous. Do men really not pay for the meals over there? :headbang:
Keruvalia
12-01-2005, 09:12
Indeed you are. However, you converted to Islam, which is more than I have accomplished in the past 12 months.

Well yeah ... but that was easy. Compared to watching someone converting to Judaism ... oy ... no wonder it didn't catch on well with the Pagans.
Keruvalia
12-01-2005, 09:14
you people are really really creepy.


You have no idea ...... (barely audible deep throated chuckle)
Nihilistic Beginners
12-01-2005, 09:18
You have no idea ...... (barely audible deep throated chuckle)

ohmygod
OceanDrive
12-01-2005, 09:19
...but why on Earth would someone want to keep two lovely girls at once .....
Let me count the ways
1 :)
2 :confused:
3 :eek:
4 :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:
5 :D
6 *very relaxed smili smoking pot*
Valient
12-01-2005, 09:24
*Takes a sip of red wine from a simple snifter, and sets the setting down onto the hardwood table lying in front of him. Takes a look around at all of the assembled suitors, and laughs*

"Gentleman, gentleman... have we learned nothing from the romantic revolution of the 1990's? Yes, these are two very beautiful, absolutely stunning individuals. Yes no doubt about it."

*Pauses to allow for some thought*

"But they way you all are fighting over them, raising the stakes and drawing the battle lines... Are Wrong! These are not pieces of meat to be auctioned off. No - these are woman. People, with feelings, thoughts... and a heart."

*Adjusts suit and brushes off a piece of lint that had settled on it.*

"... That said, I wish to make an offer that will put an end to this pointless dithering.

"..."

"..."

"..?"

"I wish to offer them a lifetime position in the Canadian Senate when I become Prime Minister in the year 2021 (Approx), which includes a salary of of over 6 figures, a work YEAR of 42 days or less, allowances for anything you want, and finally, the very wonderful ability to claim DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY."



OOC: Edited. Sorry S. Let me just say this on behalf of all the gentleman out there on NS and RL... Here's to us! *Toast* For those who managed to land a true love, another toast as well. *Toast*

Oh, and I have pics too. Truly beautiful, I say.
Sdaeriji
12-01-2005, 09:29
OOC: I just would like to say that I am similar to Tarl, and liken this thread to a wonderful outlet for writers. Those taking this too seriously should *Sdaeriji* should relax. Tarl is who he says he is, and so am i.


When did I accuse either of you of not being who you say you are? I'm confused.
Tarlachia
12-01-2005, 09:29
Very smooth response Val...

*applauds*

Yeah...about those pics...horde them closely buddy hehe!
Findecano Calaelen
12-01-2005, 09:30
But they way you all are fighting over them, raising the stakes and drawing the battle lines... Are Wrong! These are not pieces of meat to be auctioned off. No - these are woman. People, with feelings, thoughts... and a heart."


since when? :)
Keruvalia
12-01-2005, 09:31
6 *very relaxed smili smoking pot*

http://www.unlc.biz/smilies/022.gif

http://www.unlc.biz/smilies/104.gif
OceanDrive
12-01-2005, 09:32
*... these are woman. People, with feelings, thoughts... and a heart."...and thats why we love them...NOW WILL YOU PLEEZ STOP, you sound like my Dad...you are turning me off

:D :D
Nihilistic Beginners
12-01-2005, 09:32
Very smooth response Val...

*applauds*

Yeah...about those pics...horde them closely buddy hehe!

Smooth? He said that he is drinking red wine out of a "snifter", yeah that is real smoooooooth
Smalmo
12-01-2005, 09:37
Your idea intrigues me. I have seen many offers that even I myself was tempted to take, but I believe I have one that will top them all, winning you both over to my tender patch of grass like the grazing and easily-baitable sheep you are.

Here is my proposal: In my homeland of Smalmo, we have a yacht and a pony. Occasionally when people visit our luxurious and probably-gold-filled lands, they will ride the pony, as the Smalmo pony-ride experience is second to none. Others opt to take a cruise on the yacht, so that they may take in the view of our majestic mountains, abundant forests, and most-likely-riches-covered plains.

But for you today I have prepared a special offer. After all, it is rare to have a chance to possess a dazzling wench upon each arm. I am hoping your are both unequivocally nubile.

You, my dears, will be allowed not simply to ride the pony. Nor shall you simply be permitted to ride on the yacht.

Our world-class technologists have, just for you, perfected a method so that you can ride the pony and the yacht at the same time. I know, you must be astounded.

I will give you some time for your awe to wear off so that you are able to speak once again and thus provide a response.

I look forward to your favorable reply.

---Asparagus Twin, representative of Smalmo
Tarlachia
12-01-2005, 09:37
That somehow slipped my sight...

Val! Quit your damn inhaling of the depressants!
Valient
12-01-2005, 09:40
Ummm... do you guys know what a snifter is :P
Tarlachia
12-01-2005, 09:41
yes lol, was just doing a pun...
Nihilistic Beginners
12-01-2005, 09:41
Your idea intrigues me. I have seen many offers that even I myself was tempted to take, but I believe I have one that will top them all, winning you both over to my tender patch of grass like the grazing and easily-baitable sheep you are.

Here is my proposal: In my homeland of Smalmo, we have a yacht and a pony. Occasionally when people visit our luxurious and probably-gold-filled lands, they will ride the pony, as the Smalmo pony-ride experience is second to none. Others opt to take a cruise on the yacht, so that they may take in the view of our majestic mountains, abundant forests, and most-likely-riches-covered plains.

But for you today I have prepared a special offer. After all, it is rare to have a chance to possess a dazzling wench upon each arm. I am hoping your are both unequivocally nubile.

You, my dears, will be allowed not simply to ride the pony. Nor shall you simply be permitted to ride on the yacht.

Our world-class technologists have, just for you, perfected a method so that you can ride the pony and the yacht at the same time. I know, you must be astounded.

I will give you some time for your awe to wear off so that you are able to speak once again and thus provide a response.

I look forward to your favorable reply.

---Asparagus Twin, representative of Smalmo

^ Now that IS smoooooth
Nihilistic Beginners
12-01-2005, 09:43
Ummm... do you guys know what a snifter is :P
Yes I do. I also know its not the proper glass for red wine.
Findecano Calaelen
12-01-2005, 09:44
Ummm... do you guys know what a snifter is :P
A glass but obviously we like out version better :)
Valient
12-01-2005, 09:46
Who said about it being proper. Who likes drinking wine with those dame wine glasses. Snifters hold better in hand.

Lol, my friend... about taking this seriously...
Valient
12-01-2005, 09:51
*Starts humming, "I can love you like that."*

I can love you like that,
I would make you my world,
Move heaven and earth,
If you were my girl...
Sdaeriji
12-01-2005, 09:52
*Starts humming, "I can love you like that."*

I can love you like that,
I would make you my world,
Move heaven and earth,
If you were my girl...

Ahahaha.

The correct song to hum is "Fly Me to the Moon".
-Noir-
12-01-2005, 10:00
im lost now...grrr...
Findecano Calaelen
12-01-2005, 10:04
im lost now...grrr...
dont know if I can help but I have this map, dont know where it goes either
-Noir-
12-01-2005, 10:08
nah...i'll take up your offer later...

and one more thing...

*bows down to Tarlachia...but then unsheathes sword and slices his head off*

muahahahah!!!!!!! i am not bowing down to the likes of you!!! muahaha!!! the ladies are mine!!!!!!!

g'night...
Tarlachia
12-01-2005, 10:12
The proper audiences know what I mean by this following quote, and how I use it to my situation right now...

"My own, my precious!"
Rovhaugane
12-01-2005, 11:24
Man I really feel sorry for you people who actually bothered to type in a offer .................................................................................................... .........
........................................ open wide :eek:
brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I LIKE TO EAT CHEESE!
Legless Pirates
12-01-2005, 11:28
I like to fluffle after sex :fluffle:


or drinks :fluffle:

Hell. I just like to fluffle :fluffle:
The Last Drow
12-01-2005, 12:27
What foolishness! Here, then, is my offer: serve me, obey me in all things, and I shall probably let you live to continue your servitude.
Pure Metal
12-01-2005, 13:11
how to spot a rich man:

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/images/spotrich.jpg



...in that case i'm loaded :p
Ballycrap
12-01-2005, 13:20
What foolishness! Here, then, is my offer: serve me, obey me in all things, and I shall probably let you live to continue your servitude.

Ooooohhh, you're such a smoothie. But don't pick him, ladies, 'cos what I offer you is the most amazing 3 minutes and 20 seconds of your life!!!!!! Oh yeah, and breakfast too.
J Miller
12-01-2005, 13:28
I extend an offer to allow both of you to do dirty adult acts on each other while being videotaped. I will then sell the tapes to pay for my drinking habit and pay off my civil suits. Having settled the civil suits, I would then be allowed back into Walmart. When I go to Walmart, I will buy both of you some brand new comfy house slippers.
imported_AmandaTheGreat
12-01-2005, 17:50
It seems I have missed much during my rest. I am on break from class also.
I needed my rest because I do not think any patient would like a nurse to take care of them who fell asleep in class.

I await more responses, but I shall give you a hint. Nothing requiring violence or us killing anyone will appeal us. Try something new. So far I am digging the pony trick!

Oh and Tarl, I am going to kick your posterior, don't tell them I have a picture up because mystery is always better.
Peechland
12-01-2005, 18:12
i think i saw these very same items on ebay.......


;)
Youthopia
12-01-2005, 18:31
come on ladies who actually need to find a date off the computer get a life.....Anyway none of these guys seem worth it. You've got to have your man trained. I dont think men were meant to speak, which was proven why in these offers.
The Lightning Star
12-01-2005, 18:55
*Yawn* Boring. Creativity counts, boys. Creativity counts.

But mine was UBER creative!

A FLYING HOUSE FOR GODS SAKE!

And killing hobos, like on a safari!
See u Jimmy
12-01-2005, 19:19
Creative, girls you are talking about imagination.
I'm the real deal.
My life don't need to be spiced up, just hang with me and you have the best time.

PS last Christmas my female freinds had received from anyone was a star.
All the Guys said it was a really bad present.
The couple involved were getting divorced in 6 months.
imported_AmandaTheGreat
12-01-2005, 23:54
Hmm...don't know why we were moved to gameplay, oh well.

Hmmm, well, we don't want to date we just want to know what we would be offered for us if we were to choose one man. Besides the man gets two ladies.
Valient
13-01-2005, 00:00
All right. On top of being a Canadian senator, how about...


The Province of Saskatchewan?
Colodia
13-01-2005, 00:03
Hmm...don't know why we were moved to gameplay, oh well.

Hmmm, well, we don't want to date we just want to know what we would be offered for us if we were to choose one man. Besides the man gets two ladies.
Why didn't you say so earlier?

You'll get the Laser Straight, glow in the dark markers, the cookie baker, crayola crayons, and a subscription to AOL 1.0 all for the low price of $19.99

Throw in a threesome and I'll make it $18.99. But it's gotta be good. And you gotta bring your own mp3 players. Better yet, bring a PS2 and a portable T.V. cuz everyone I do seems to want those during sex. I wouldn't know why.
Gorgamin
13-01-2005, 01:35
Originally posted by Colodia
Why didn't you say so earlier?

You'll get the Laser Straight, glow in the dark markers, the cookie baker, crayola crayons, and a subscription to AOL 1.0 all for the low price of $19.99

Throw in a threesome and I'll make it $18.99. But it's gotta be good. And you gotta bring your own mp3 players. Better yet, bring a PS2 and a portable T.V. cuz everyone I do seems to want those during sex. I wouldn't know why.

I still don't think you quite understand... you would be paying us for the honour of our company. But you must pay creatively...something as boring as money would never do.
Myrth
13-01-2005, 01:44
What on earth is this doing in Gameplay?
The Lightning Star
13-01-2005, 01:46
You people are snob's.

I wouldn't wanna go out with you anyhoo.

I bet you're both fat. And have no friends.

And are really guys.
Legless Pirates
13-01-2005, 01:47
You people are snob's.

I wouldn't wanna go out with you anyhoo.

I bet you're both fat. And have no friends.

And are really guys.
hmmmmm fat guys
Gorgamin
13-01-2005, 01:53
Originally Posted by The Lightning Star
You people are snob's.

I wouldn't wanna go out with you anyhoo.

I bet you're both fat. And have no friends.

And are really guys.


For your information: We are both girls. Neither of us is fat. And we are not snobs. We did not ask for expensive items or money or anything like that. Simply creativity. Is that too much to ask?
Legless Pirates
13-01-2005, 01:55
How about a creative :fluffle: ?
Nova Terra Australis
13-01-2005, 01:59
For your information: We are both girls. Neither of us is fat. And we are not snobs. We did not ask for expensive items or money or anything like that. Simply creativity. Is that too much to ask?

I thought my offer was creative. :p
Gorgamin
13-01-2005, 02:01
Originally posted by Legless Pirates
How about a creative :fluffle: ?

What would that entail exactly? I do love a good :fluffle: ...
Legless Pirates
13-01-2005, 02:04
I'm trying to figure out how I could make one with three

:fluffle::( is probably the best I can do
Colodia
13-01-2005, 02:14
I still don't think you quite understand... you would be paying us for the honour of our company. But you must pay creatively...something as boring as money would never do.
erm, who says I didn't understand?
The Lightning Star
13-01-2005, 02:15
For your information: We are both girls. Neither of us is fat. And we are not snobs. We did not ask for expensive items or money or anything like that. Simply creativity. Is that too much to ask?

Listen, there are some EXTREMELY creative posts on this thread, yet you're like "Nah". What else in god's name do you want? People are offering you FLYING HOUSES, cities, monuments, states, and yet you say "Yawn, thats not creative"!

I'll even get creative here!

First we'll go eat Italian food in Rome at night (under a full moon, of course), and then we'll take my private Gulfstream Jet to Egypt, where we'll stay at a luxury hotel in Cairo(in seperate rooms or the same) and then go see the pyramids, then we'll go to New Zealand and jump off the worlds highest bungee jump, and then we'll fly to Santiago de Chile and stay the night. Then we'll go skiing in the Andes and then go home.

How's that for creative?
Legless Pirates
13-01-2005, 02:17
Listen, there are some EXTREMELY creative posts on this thread, yet you're like "Nah". What else in god's name do you want? People are offering you FLYING HOUSES, cities, monuments, states, and yet you say "Yawn, thats not creative"!

I'll even get creative here!

First we'll go eat Italian food in Rome at night (under a full moon, of course), and then we'll take my private Gulfstream Jet to Egypt, where we'll stay at a luxury hotel in Cairo(in seperate rooms or the same) and then go see the pyramids, then we'll go to New Zealand and jump off the worlds highest bungee jump, and then we'll fly to Santiago de Chile and stay the night. Then we'll go skiing in the Andes and then go home.

How's that for creative?
I say "show off"
The Lightning Star
13-01-2005, 02:17
I say "show off"

At least thats more creative than :fluffle:
Legless Pirates
13-01-2005, 02:20
At least thats more creative than :fluffle:
Opinion, grasshopper, is something to be taken lightly
Superpower07
13-01-2005, 02:22
*depressed dejected look on my face*

Meh, even if some girl 2 days ago walked up to me saying (for no reason) "It's called an apology, motherfucker!" I'm not this damn desperate.
Gorgamin
13-01-2005, 02:28
Originally Posted by The Lightning Star
Listen, there are some EXTREMELY creative posts on this thread, yet you're like "Nah". What else in god's name do you want? People are offering you FLYING HOUSES, cities, monuments, states, and yet you say "Yawn, thats not creative"!

I'll even get creative here!

First we'll go eat Italian food in Rome at night (under a full moon, of course), and then we'll take my private Gulfstream Jet to Egypt, where we'll stay at a luxury hotel in Cairo(in seperate rooms or the same) and then go see the pyramids, then we'll go to New Zealand and jump off the worlds highest bungee jump, and then we'll fly to Santiago de Chile and stay the night. Then we'll go skiing in the Andes and then go home.

How's that for creative?

That's like a trip around the world...and I do love to travel. Consider this one a "maybe" :p
The Lightning Star
13-01-2005, 02:29
That's like a trip around the world...and I do love to travel. Consider this one a "maybe" :p

What could be more creative than that? :confused:
Legless Pirates
13-01-2005, 02:31
What could be more creative than that? :confused:
it's not very realistic :fluffle:
The Lightning Star
13-01-2005, 02:32
it's not very realistic :fluffle:

Not really.

Anyone with a Gulfstream and about $300,000 (USD) could do it.

Even though I don't, it was uber creative.
Gorgamin
13-01-2005, 02:36
Originally posted by The Lightning Star
What could be more creative than that? :confused:

Honestly? I'm not sure. However, I cannot accept your proposal without first discussing it with Lady Amanda, who is nowhere to be found at the moment...
Legless Pirates
13-01-2005, 02:36
Not really.

Anyone with a Gulfstream and about $300,000 (USD) could do it.

Even though I don't, it was uber creative.
Exactly

Here, have another fluffle
:fluffle:
Nova Terra Australis
13-01-2005, 02:38
How about an all-expenses-paid cruise to Munchkin-land, where we could engage is such thrilling local sports as 'Cherub spanking' and 'Imp shooting'. We could then visit the shortest tower in the world, treat ourselves to delicacies like frozen boar sticks and take a tour through the great rock arch where the fabled 'John Doe' first wandered into this demented island. After the days events, we could retire to our 5-star stick hut thingies whilst keeping a keen eye on any attacks from the local flora. Forget the imps, those walking trees are deadly. On the cruise back we could take a detour through one of those seaborne drive throughs for your choice of zebra meat, crab milk, and giant spider testicles. Beat that. :D
Keruvalia
13-01-2005, 02:39
Hrmmm ... not even a casual nod ... I'd try harder, but I'm lazy.
Gorgamin
13-01-2005, 02:42
Originally posted by Nova Terra Australis
How about an all-expenses-paid cruise to Munchkin-land, where we could engage is such thrilling local sports as 'Cherub spanking' and 'Imp shooting'. We could then visit the shortest tower in the world, treat ourselves to delicacies like frozen boar sticks and take a tour through the great rock arch where the fabled 'John Doe' first wandered into this demented island. After the days events, we could retire to our 5-star stick hut thingies whilst keeping a keen eye on any attacks from the local flora. Forget the imps, those walking trees are deadly. On the cruise back we could take a detour through one of those seaborne drive throughs for your choice of zebra meat, crab milk, and giant spider testicles. Beat that.

Spider testicles? This is supposed to win me over how? :confused:
Nova Terra Australis
13-01-2005, 02:45
Spider testicles? This is supposed to win me over how? :confused:

They're very tasty. You could just keep to the zebra meat and/or crab milk. :p

I think they are also very effective aphrodisiacs, which, once consumed, force the consumer into a frenzied fit of desire for the opposite sex. Unfortunately it tends to be... *cough* ... spiders... of the ...opposite sex. *cough*. Well... it's pretty neat to be able to tell the sex of spiders... kinda. :)
TUBAHO
13-01-2005, 02:46
Okay Ladies.
I'm a VERY happily married man,
But, in my younger days I was always considered a very nice guy.
Of Course, you know what they say...
Nice guys FINISH last.

Yes, I'm a VERY NICE GUY!
Legless Pirates
13-01-2005, 02:49
So you finished VERY last?
TUBAHO
13-01-2005, 02:51
So you finished VERY last?

Yeah Baby and I'm VERY proud of it!
The Golden Simatar
13-01-2005, 02:53
Okay, now I offer both you fine ladies several wonder things:

1. Xenomorph Queen with a specially trained contaiment team.

2. Gold and Silver

3. Weapons from pistols to ICBMs

4. A free two month stay in the 5 star Brighton Hotel in Clarence

5. Your very own yachts

6. A wonderful dinner for 5 at any resturant you choose for free.
Caelumdom
13-01-2005, 02:57
You know something. . .many of the responses have been quite creative, have been clever, have been outlandish even.

heh.

my response is simply this: I'll let you kiss me and then decide for yourself whether or not you want to be on my arm(s).

*wink*
imported_AmandaTheGreat
13-01-2005, 02:59
Okay, how about some clarification. I am a girl, Gorgamin is a girl. Neither of us is fat and actually I believe we are cute. I do have a pic in the NS profile, but I do not like it. More proof, I have been in about six contests and went two three finals. Yet, I do not believe I should proof my beauty and what really matters if we are cute or not, or skinny or fat? Personality baby.

Yeah, a lot of you have creative ideas, some more perverted (but hell I can let my hormones get to me too). We were just having fun; so don't take what we say personally.

In fact just to please you all we can be all of yours, I think we can handle you all anyway. I know I could on my own. ;) But I really think the nice ones would actually win, but add a bit of creative juice. Besides in RL I am not one for romance, but just chilling or even doing something I would never do, like if he took me skydiving.

But there can only be one winner, so Gorgamin and I will have to decide shortly. I have to work so it won't be tonight. I won't get in till late and I have class in the morning. So, don't get your pink panties in a knot.
Legless Pirates
13-01-2005, 03:01
*unknots his pink panties*
imported_AmandaTheGreat
13-01-2005, 03:06
Okay, now I am sorta scared that I know you are wearing pink panties.
Legless Pirates
13-01-2005, 03:06
I don't wear them... I knot them
imported_AmandaTheGreat
13-01-2005, 03:08
Well, why do you knot them? Isn't that uncomfortable?
Legless Pirates
13-01-2005, 03:10
Why not? I can, so I will.

Yay for anarchy!
Gorgamin
13-01-2005, 03:11
Seems to me like it would be.
Legless Pirates
13-01-2005, 03:15
I think panties would be uncomfortable to me anyway, knotted or not...ted... ermm... what?
imported_AmandaTheGreat
13-01-2005, 03:17
Um, what exactly are you trying to say?
Legless Pirates
13-01-2005, 03:19
Basically, that I'm a guy.

:fluffle:
Janers place
13-01-2005, 03:28
uuuuummmmmmmmm
Peechland
13-01-2005, 03:33
*unknots his pink panties*


are those legless panties? ;)


har har har!
Colodia
13-01-2005, 03:34
*depressed dejected look on my face*

Meh, even if some girl 2 days ago walked up to me saying (for no reason) "It's called an apology, motherfucker!" I'm not this damn desperate.
it's all for fun


I'd give these girls one million dollars in pennies! Pennies that I deviously laid on the bottom of a shark tank, WITH 5 hungry sharks.
Legless Pirates
13-01-2005, 03:34
are those legless panties? ;)


har har har!
Hey, don't make fun of the cripple :(

PS :fluffle:
Nureonia
13-01-2005, 03:44
We have chocolate, though. Chocolate! And, of course, we have a rabid consumerist state that ensures that anything you think that we should be making (like -- and I'm completely going to make this up off the top of my head -- robot ponies) -- we can have it done within twenty-four hours.

Also, we have really pretty jungles. Except without the part where there are rabid wild animals that want to chew your face off.

Certainly not fake jungles, heavens no, because we haven't bent over the enviroment and violated it in our quest for more industry...

Everyone wants to go on a safari in a jungle. Only we can offer that.
Caelumdom
13-01-2005, 04:07
I'm not sure which would have to be bigger. . .a tank big enough to hold a million dollars worth of pennies or a tank big enough to house five hungry sharks with enough territory to prevent them from ripping each other to bite-sized little pieces.
Colodia
13-01-2005, 04:48
I'm not sure which would have to be bigger. . .a tank big enough to hold a million dollars worth of pennies or a tank big enough to house five hungry sharks with enough territory to prevent them from ripping each other to bite-sized little pieces.
well no two pennies overlap each other. You decide.
Nureonia
13-01-2005, 05:39
If it were my nation, it'd be robot sharks. We could have that shit done in 48 hours and only lose two factory workers' lives (one dies trying to test the jaws, the other falls into some gears and is crushed. We keep gears around expressely for that purpose -- we're advanced enough that we really don't need the gears. Also, factory worker blooper reels are some of our biggest exports.)
Pantylvania
13-01-2005, 05:58
I actually do have pink panties hidden in my appartment. That is, unless someone stole them. I haven't checked in a while. It's part of an ongoing joke that led to this nation name.

To add to this game, I can help you with physics homework if you need it. And I can give you volume 6 of the English-translated version of the Fruits Basket manga. And I can rub your feet while you read it.
The Plutonian Empire
13-01-2005, 06:55
Wow...

Two women offering themselves...

Gee, too bad I have to wait six months since I just killed off my non-existant fictional wife. :D

Oh, one more thing. Hows this for creativity?

*Pulls out a box with a red button on it*

Go ahead, push the red button. :D
Robbopolis
13-01-2005, 07:18
I feel kinda sorry next to the rest of these guys. My idea is just a couple of pints of Ben & Jerry's while watching Ever After.
Nureonia
13-01-2005, 07:41
Good plan, but Ever After is a suck movie. :(
Robbopolis
13-01-2005, 07:43
Good plan, but Ever After is a suck movie. :(

You would prefer some other chick flick? I like most of them.
Valient
13-01-2005, 09:27
Hush about your movies! They're deciding.

...


Besides, The Prince's Bride is a MUCH better chick flick. That or Fifty First Dates. :P
Tantric Verses
13-01-2005, 09:43
Late entry ladies,



All I'm offering is a chance to see god.
Valient
13-01-2005, 09:49
Sorry, last post before bed. But I couldn't resist...

Tell me, TV - is this "God" a nickname for something, because if that was the case, I'm offering the chance to see "Valient Jr."

And no cracks about that, please. :D
Tantric Verses
13-01-2005, 10:04
I guess it depends on your religion if it's a 'nickname'.



I'm offering a chance to commune with cosmic dieties.

Does that clears things up?
Neo-Anarchists
13-01-2005, 10:06
I guess it depends on your religion if it's a 'nickname'.



I'm offering a chance to commune with cosmic dieties.

Does that clears things up?
"Commune"...
Hee.

Sorry, my juvenile sense of humor is trying to make a crude analogy here. Luckily, it's failing miserably.
Gorgamin
13-01-2005, 21:23
Originally posted by Robbopolis
You would prefer some other chick flick? I like most of them.

Actually, Ever After is a very good choice. I love that movie :p


Originally posted by Tantric Verses
I guess it depends on your religion if it's a 'nickname'.



I'm offering a chance to commune with cosmic dieties.

Does that clears things up?

It does, indeed. And I am intrigued. How is this possible exactly?
Nureonia
13-01-2005, 22:29
You would prefer some other chick flick? I like most of them.

Turns out I was mixing Ever After up with something else. I think it was the Princess Diaries? Something really terrible.
Gorgamin
14-01-2005, 04:32
Princess Diaries is almost as good as Ever After! :D
Janusgrad
14-01-2005, 04:38
Lol, we talking about chick flicks now:P
Stan Smackey
14-01-2005, 04:38
[Slips a C-note into pocket of auctioneer. Points at both ladies and slips another C-note. Auctioneer nods and slides up to podium]

General Powell of DEN has purchased both ladies for $5 and a shot of Jaggermeister.
Lascivious Maximus
14-01-2005, 04:50
Attention, adoration, and if its deserved - respect. Love, well, that we will have to see about! :)
Lascivious Maximus
14-01-2005, 04:50
[Slips a C-note into pocket of auctioneer. Points at both ladies and slips another C-note. Auctioneer nods and slides up to podium]

General Powell of DEN has purchased both ladies for $5 and a shot of Jaggermeister.
Damn, why didnt I think of that? :(
Tantric Verses
14-01-2005, 05:30
It does, indeed. And I am intrigued. How is this possible exactly?My apologies, perhaps I spoke too soon.

There are some physical and spiritual pre-requisites before undertaking such a journey.

You may not be up to it.
Gorgamin
14-01-2005, 05:42
Originally posted by Lascivious Maximus
Attention, adoration, and if its deserved - respect. Love, well, that we will have to see about! :)

That sounds very nice indeed :fluffle:

Originally posted by Stan Smackey
[Slips a C-note into pocket of auctioneer. Points at both ladies and slips another C-note. Auctioneer nods and slides up to podium]

General Powell of DEN has purchased both ladies for $5 and a shot of Jaggermeister.

No no no! That is against all the rules. The auctioneer is officially fired and you sir are disqualified from the competition. :(
Gorgamin
14-01-2005, 06:31
Originally posted by Tantric Verses
My apologies, perhaps I spoke too soon.

There are some physical and spiritual pre-requisites before undertaking such a journey.

You may not be up to it.

How would you know? Why don't you elaborate anyway?
The Segovene
14-01-2005, 06:42
I have no idea wtf this is all about, but I'll promise these two ladies all the money in the fricking world. Will that suffice?
The Segovene
14-01-2005, 06:49
The silence disturbs me.
Gorgamin
14-01-2005, 06:50
All the money in the world? It's a nice offer, but we were hoping for something a bit more creative... :p
The Plutonian Empire
14-01-2005, 06:53
Like what?

Blowin' up skyscrapers? :D

We DO have a condemned building lying around, especially with that recent quake.... :D

All you gotta do is push the red button.
*Pulls out a box with a red button*
Gorgamin
14-01-2005, 07:00
Originally posted by The Plutonian Empire
All you gotta do is push the red button.
*Pulls out a box with a red button*

Okay....but I am holding you personally responsible for what happens...

*presses the red button*
The Plutonian Empire
14-01-2005, 07:17
*3228 lightyears away...*

BOOOMMMMMmmmmm......

*Skycams at the site broadcast the images of the falling condemned building to the entire Empire, and to Earth as well. The President goes on TV a few days later, saying he blew up the building, "Because I felt like havin fun." The populace later found out that the government rigged the building to "impress a woman." The official response: "Oops. :D"*
I'm screwed, aren't I?
Gorgamin
14-01-2005, 07:33
You destroyed an entire building just to impress me? I'm flattered! :fluffle:
Tantric Verses
14-01-2005, 07:34
How would you know? Why don't you elaborate anyway?Well the spiritual pre-requisites include a level of maturity and worldly awareness that make asking how it's possible an indication that your not ready.

An adept ready for the journey would have read the signs and known.





But since this is all in fun, I'll list the physical pre-requisites. They simply include general good health and no limitations against semi-strenuous activities.


It also helps to eat a good breakfast, be well hydrated and you might want to stretch out beforehand.

And have no other plans for at least 2 - 4 hours.
Outer Heaven MK II
14-01-2005, 07:34
Hey Gorgamin, why don't you list the top 5 people on this thread?
Valient
14-01-2005, 07:35
How about a penned love poem (f) (L)

Your Love Part One

Won’t you come to me in my dreams
So that I’ll be fine by day?
Thinking of you until the time
I next see your smiling face.

Come as you’ve come a thousand times
And a thousand times come more
A messenger of a better love
where I ne’er long for more

Or take my hand and guide me
hold me
take me
be stilll
lay me down and say the words
“I love you, and always will.”

A lover without a love
is really not a lover at all.
So I’ll wait for you until you return to me
or until the stars turn cold and fall.

So won’t you come to me in my dreams
So that I’ll be fine by day.
For the longing for you I feel awake
Dreams of you will more than pay
Gorgamin
14-01-2005, 07:38
Outer Heaven, I would love to do that...however my partner is unavailable at this time. I could post my personal Top 5 if anyone is interested...
The Plutonian Empire
14-01-2005, 07:39
You destroyed an entire building just to impress me?
*Becomes slightly nervous*
Uhh, is that bad?

EDIT:Outer Heaven, I would love to do that...however my partner is unavailable at this time. I could post my personal Top 5 if anyone is interested...
That sounds like a good idea :cool:
Lascivious Maximus
14-01-2005, 07:45
That sounds very nice indeed :fluffle: Well, the offer stands. :)
Gorgamin
14-01-2005, 08:03
And now the list...after much consideration...

5. The Lightning Star (I like the idea of a trip around the world...)

4. The Plutonian Empire (for blowing up a building)

3. Outer Heaven MK II (for offering me my own planet)

2. Legless Pirates (for the fluffles and the pink panties :p)

And finally...


1. Lascivious Maximus (I'm partial to being admired and adored... :) )
Lascivious Maximus
14-01-2005, 08:13
And finally...
1. Lascivious Maximus (I'm partial to being admired and adored... :) )

Ok, Im yours for the taking. :D
Gorgamin
14-01-2005, 08:17
Originally posted by Lascivious Maximus
Ok, Im yours for the taking. :D


:fluffle:
The Plutonian Empire
14-01-2005, 09:04
1. Lascivious Maximus (I'm partial to being admired and adored... :) )
Oooh! You the man, Lascivious Maximus! :cool:
Down System
14-01-2005, 09:04
Not only can I offer the entire contents of my hard drive, I can offer you my heart, my body and my soul. If you aren't interested in those, I give free foot massages... And I'll throw in a fish sandwich as well
Lascivious Maximus
14-01-2005, 16:37
:fluffle:
*warm fuzzy feeling takes over* Ahhhh! Its good to be wanted sometimes! :)
Legless Pirates
14-01-2005, 16:39
Congrats Lasc.
Peechland
14-01-2005, 16:39
*warm fuzzy feeling takes over* Ahhhh! Its good to be wanted sometimes! :)

Right....except when its by the authorities. :eek:
Legless Pirates
14-01-2005, 16:42
Right....except when its by the authorities. :eek:
Nope.... that gives you a warm feeling too.

From running away as fast as you can
Lascivious Maximus
14-01-2005, 16:43
Right....except when its by the authorities. :eek:
Nah, sometimes thats good too... I remember my first time in a mexican prison... *looks up, reminising*

I had just grabbed my ankles when all of the sudden...

um, never mind... hehe hehe :eek:
Gorgamin
14-01-2005, 16:58
I just want to clarify something here. The Top 5 that I posted last night are simply based on my own opinions. Amanda and I have yet to make a final decision, so please keep the offers coming!
Legless Pirates
14-01-2005, 17:01
:fluffle:
I'll offer everything Lasc is offering, with a fluffle on top
^--- see, it's on top already
Lascivious Maximus
14-01-2005, 17:15
I just want to clarify something here. The Top 5 that I posted last night are simply based on my own opinions. Amanda and I have yet to make a final decision, so please keep the offers coming!
Ok, Ill add tenderness - and complete satisfaction. :)
Legless Pirates
14-01-2005, 17:18
:fluffle: <- tada!
Ok, Ill add tenderness - and complete satisfaction. :)
That with a fluffle on top
Gorgamin
14-01-2005, 17:19
Originally posted by Legless Pirates
I'll offer everything Lasc is offering, with a fluffle on top
^--- see, it's on top already

Wow...a very, very tempting offer, Legless. :fluffle:


Originally posted by Lascivious Maximus
Ok, Ill add tenderness - and complete satisfaction.

But...I think complete satisfaction is even better... :p
Lascivious Maximus
14-01-2005, 17:20
:fluffle: <- tada!

That with a fluffle on top
LP, you drive a hard bargain don't you! :)

Ill add honesty to my list of benefactions, and two heaping spoonfulls of trust. :fluffle:
New Granada
14-01-2005, 17:21
Oh oh!

We can go riding through the slums of Panama City and Colon(the most run down city in the world baisically) and shoot hobos with shotguns!

Hows that for exciting?


Now that does sound like fun!
Lascivious Maximus
14-01-2005, 17:22
I think complete satisfaction is even better... :p
and the best part... its guaranteed!

complete satisfaction, or we get to try again!

...and again

...and again

...and again!! ;)
New Granada
14-01-2005, 17:22
Um, I'll take you both to london with me next time I go so you can have a woooonderful time and drunken affairs with all the exotic guys in the youth hostel,

-on the condition you both have sex with me in the airplane bathroom, on the flights there *and* back.
Legless Pirates
14-01-2005, 17:24
and the best part... its guaranteed!

complete satisfaction, or we get to try again!

...and again

...and again

...and again!! ;)
So life with Lasc would be a big accumulation of tries, without ever getting to finish :eek:

:fluffle:
StarkRavinMad
14-01-2005, 17:26
I'll offer nothing so petty as demolition projects, worthless chunks of rock floating through space, or fluffles (though pink panties are hard to ignore). No, no, no, I offer something every woman wants. I'll not tell you what it is, and payment will not be immediately forthcoming, because that would only lessen it's inherent value...each passing day will heighten your desire for it.

Of course, if this isn't enough to prevent you from prematurely selling yourselves for one of the previous offerings, I'll simply wait for women with a greater sense of adventure.
Lascivious Maximus
14-01-2005, 17:35
So life with Lasc would be a big accumulation of tries, without ever getting to finish :eek:

:fluffle:

Nope, lots of consistiently better and improving finishes! ;)

:fluffle:
Legless Pirates
14-01-2005, 17:46
Nope, lots of consistiently better and improving finishes! ;)

:fluffle:
Took me a while to find a whitty reply. :D

Why improve to perfection, when perfection is up for grabs. ;)

:fluffle:
Lascivious Maximus
14-01-2005, 17:49
Took me a while to find a whitty reply. :D

Why improve to perfection, when perfection is up for grabs. ;)

:fluffle:
because perfection leaves you nothing to look forward to the day after. :)

Just less than perfection leaves you that room for improvment every hour, every minute, every second of every day that is spent with one another. ;)
Legless Pirates
14-01-2005, 17:52
because perfection leaves you nothing to look forward to the day after. :)

Just less than perfection leaves you that room for improvment every hour, every minute, every second of every day that is spent with one another. ;)
What about... But..... I.... You......


Damn.

A fluffle -> :fluffle:
Peechland
14-01-2005, 18:14
Is it getting hot in here or is it just me??

*fans self*
Legless Pirates
14-01-2005, 18:16
Lasc is unbeatable :(
Peechland
14-01-2005, 18:22
Lasc is unbeatable :(

Yeah....he's tough to beat. Dont worry LP, some fair, beautiful, legless Corsair will soon be bidding for your affections I'm sure.
Legless Pirates
14-01-2005, 18:26
And I'll have to settle for wenches is the meantime

:( I'm a sinner
Peechland
14-01-2005, 18:33
And I'll have to settle for wenches is the meantime

:( I'm a sinner

*searches for a proper wnech for LP*

Well its a start:

Wench's for Hire (http://www.csh.rit.edu/~sara/pics2/wench3.jpg)
Lascivious Maximus
14-01-2005, 18:33
Lasc is unbeatable :(
Im not! besides, it not so much a competition as vying for affection - the truest affection always wins despite whats offered along with it!

Everything else takes a back seat LP, everything in life is second helpings after true love! :)
Gorgamin
14-01-2005, 18:34
Originally posted by Lascivious Maximus
because perfection leaves you nothing to look forward to the day after.

Just less than perfection leaves you that room for improvment every hour, every minute, every second of every day that is spent with one another.

Yeah...I'd say that's a pretty tough one to match...


Originally posted by Legless Pirates
Lasc is unbeatable :(

I don't know about that. :p

And at the very least, you've earned a good :fluffle:
Legless Pirates
14-01-2005, 18:34
*searches for a proper wnech for LP*

Well its a start:

Wench's for Hire (http://www.csh.rit.edu/~sara/pics2/wench3.jpg)
Huzah! :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

ewwwww! That one with the trousers has a beard.
Stubble-:fluffle:
Peechland
14-01-2005, 18:37
Why dont the two ladies change their original proposal and take both of you? One for each!


*puts on skimpy match-making cupid outfit*
Youthopia
14-01-2005, 18:38
like i said ladies anyone could do much better than these guys.
Lascivious Maximus
14-01-2005, 18:38
Huzah! :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

ewwwww! That one with the trousers has a beard.
Stubble-:fluffle:
There you have it LP! Good on ya! :)

Good work Peechland! ;)
Lascivious Maximus
14-01-2005, 18:39
Why dont the two ladies change their original proposal and take both of you? One for each!


*puts on skimpy match-making cupid outfit*
Well well! We may have to start a new thread for cupid here! :D
Gorgamin
14-01-2005, 18:40
Originally posted by Peechland
Why dont the two ladies change their original proposal and take both of you? One for each!


*puts on skimpy match-making cupid outfit*


I like the way you think, Peech. But if Amanda doesn't show back up soon, I might just take them both for myself... :p
Legless Pirates
14-01-2005, 18:41
Cool. Lasc and I could high-five :eek:
Peechland
14-01-2005, 18:41
like i said ladies anyone could do much better than these guys.


Do NOT be dissin' my legless friend and his romantically charged partner in crime , ya hear?
Peechland
14-01-2005, 18:42
I like the way you think, Peech. But if Amanda doesn't show back up soon, I might just take them both for myself... :p


<giggles>

Let me get out my special "threesome" arrows. ;)
Peechland
14-01-2005, 18:54
where did everybody go?


*looks around for something to shoot at*
Legless Pirates
14-01-2005, 18:55
I'm here *waves his shirt from behind a table*, but we're still one short
Lascivious Maximus
14-01-2005, 19:00
Cool. Lasc and I could high-five :eek:
*high fives LP* :p
Lascivious Maximus
14-01-2005, 19:01
<giggles>

Let me get out my special "threesome" arrows. ;)
No reason I see that we cant make it a foursome Peech! :D
Peechland
14-01-2005, 19:04
No reason I see that we cant make it a foursome Peech! :D


LOL......*replaces her gold halo with horns*


this cupid outfit is getting kinda uncomfortable.....anyone have a wench costume?
Gorgamin
14-01-2005, 19:05
You are definitely invited, Peech. :fluffle:
Legless Pirates
14-01-2005, 19:07
What do we need the costume for? Ripping it off? :eek:

:fluffle: <- some preliminary action
Peechland
14-01-2005, 19:07
You are definitely invited, Peech. :fluffle:


awww......
guys, they are nice sharing type girls too!