1001 Unwritten Rules of Society(Humorous) - Page 2
Ravenclaws
17-01-2005, 10:54
623) Australians will always make jokes about New Zealanders molesting sheep
624) New Zealanders probably don't care.
625) Australia will NOT lose the Ashes
626) It's OK to masturbate
627) A hotted-up car is a sure sign of a small penis
628) Someone will ALWAYS be better than you
629) Country music sucks
630) The cat does not want a spin in the microwave
631) If you have nothing nice to say, shoot the bastard!
632) If you've read this far, you need a life!
Neo-Anarchists
17-01-2005, 10:56
632) If you've read this far, you need a life!
633) Neo-Anarchists needs a life, among other things...
New Fubaria
17-01-2005, 23:19
634. There's always someone out there pedantic enough to point out any typo
635. There's always someone out there anally retentive enough to go back and correct their post after the typo is pointed out
636. If you have to go to hospital to have something removed from your butt, don't make lame excuses like "I was talking on my cellphone in the shower when I slipped and fell on it"...give the medical staff a little credit, and tell them the truth ;)
Chicken pi
17-01-2005, 23:22
636. If you have to go to hospital to have something removed from your butt, don't make lame excuses like "I was talking on my cellphone in the shower when I slipped and fell on it"...give the medical staff a little credit, and tell them the truth ;)
637. If you have to go to hospital to have something removed from your butt, try to make it novel. You'll still be ridiculed for it but it will make an amusing anecdote.
If you copy pasted all of these into another thread, you need a life.
see here:
LIKE THIS (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=389732)
Chinkopodia
18-01-2005, 19:18
638: UpwardThrust is THE ONLY King of fluffles.
639: Torching Witches is the Messiah.
640: Anyone who disagrees with the above 2 rules is wrong - don't listen to them.
New Fubaria
19-01-2005, 02:16
641. The best way to avoid hangovers is to stay drunk
Shishmaref
22-01-2005, 11:53
642: When the man with the money meets the man with the experience, the man with the experience leaves with the money, and the man with the money leaves with the experience.
643: People who beat their children in private will act shocked when you yell at yours in public.
644: When half naked, in a locker room with other half naked people of the same sex, it is best not to look at them, they don't like it.
645: Anyone who claims to be God without proof will always be ridiculed.
646: Arguing with someone who is set in their ideals is like banging your head against a brick wall. They will not change, and you will walk away with a headache.
647: Old English teachers will continue to force books on students that they don't want to read.
648: No one, and I repeat NO ONE, has time to read the entire college-bound reading list before college. I've spent over 7 years, and I'm not done yet.
649: Sometimes angry music makes people feel good.
650: When the cop asks: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" The wrong answer is: "You thought I had doughnuts in here?"
651: People who keep track of their warrentees are the kind of people who take good enough care of their stuff to not need them.
652: Striking up a conversation with a person on a greyhound is okay, striking up a conversation with someone on public transit is not.
653: The excuse: "My mother can't come to the phone right now..." means you are home alone. The good guys know this, the bad guys know this.
654: (and my last one for tonight): No matter how hard/lumpy/cold/uncomfortable your bed is, or how awake you are when you get into bed, it will become the warmest/softest/nicest/most comfortable place you've ever been when the alarm clock goes off. And you will somehow be tired.
Neo-Anarchists
22-01-2005, 12:04
Oop!
We forgot about the 1001 Unwritten Rules!
655) Never forget about the Unwritten rules, or they'll flog you with a wet noodle.
656) It's probably a good idea to not have your laptop in your basement, as this floor that I'm laying on is really hard.
657) You know that spam you get about increasing penis size? It works.
658) Even if you aren't a guy, it works.
Bitchkitten
22-01-2005, 13:08
Yikes! I'm deleting that spam!
The Tribes Of Longton
22-01-2005, 17:11
659. You are allowed to spam if it means you get to the 666th rule
660. You are allowed to spam if it means you get to the 666th rule
661. You are allowed to spam if it means you get to the 666th rule
662. You are allowed to spam if it means you get to the 666th rule
663. You are allowed to spam if it means you get to the 666th rule
664. You are allowed to spam if it means you get to the 666th rule
665. The neighbour of the beast
666. six-six-six, the number of the....hey, what are those cracks in the floor...kinda looks like a pentagr.....AAAARRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!duck!!!
667. There are 1001 unwritten rules of society
667. There are 1001 unwritten rules of society
668. People die for a reason - mostly because of old age, illnesses, murder, accidents, etc.
21. 42 is the almighty meaning of life
669. The question of life is: How many shirts is Kevin Lyttle wearing in his music video.
700. we are at the 700th rule of society.
702: Ensure clearance before zipping up.
Occidio Multus
28-01-2005, 01:14
703.If a kid asks where rain comes from, Ithink a cute thing to tell him is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."
704. If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.
705.If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.
706. It takes a big man to cry, but it takes and even bigger man to laugh at that man.
707.If you're in a boxing match, try not to let the other guy's gloves touch your lips, because you don't know where that glove has been.
shamelessly ripped from jack handy, and i hope no one else thoguht if before i did :)
New Genoa
28-01-2005, 01:22
708. 2+2=5
709. why was eight afraid of nine? because 9 8 7.
710. The three stooges are not good role models for young porn stars
711 never shop at a store called 7/11
712 talk to the greyhound driver, the life you save might be your own (used to drive for greyhound)
New Fubaria
28-01-2005, 02:45
713. There is a special place reserved in hell for parents who let their kids make noise at the movies