NationStates Jolt Archive

Thats right!
Your favorite advice columnist (and only advice columnist)
is back to help you get through your busy day...

I can kick "dear Abbey's" dead ass!

You need love advice?

Im the guy!

You need finacial wisdom?

I got buttloads!!

You ask...

I answer!!

Thats how this works.

The "sage" wisdom of the Squatch is yours once again, for the asking.

I can kick "dear Abbey's" dead ass! :D

i got a question i feel like killing myself every day why should i stay alive? whats the purpose in life?

i got a question i feel like killing myself every day why should i stay alive? whats the purpose in life?

Dear Sadistic Skinhead,

If you have no reason to live....live to annoy other people.
Find someone who really deserves it.....and give them shit for NO REASON WHATSOEVER.

It works for many others.

P.S lay off the emo music, and chai tea.....it may help.

-The Squatch.

You need finacial wisdom?

I got buttloads!!



Hmmm...think I'll pass.. :shock:

You need finacial wisdom?

I got buttloads!!



Hmmm...think I'll pass.. :shock:

Good idea Esselldee......regular bowel function is essential to good health!

Glad to help!

You need finacial wisdom?

I got buttloads!!



Hmmm...think I'll pass.. :shock:

Good idea Esselldee......regular bowel function is essential to good health!

Glad to help!

Now I am LMAO!
Am I going too far?? :? :lol:

---Post deleted by NationStates Moderators---

Dear Squatch,

What do you do when your life is perfect? when you've nothing to complain about? Should I start my own advice thread? :P

Dear Squatch,

What do you do when your life is perfect? when you've nothing to complain about? Should I start my own advice thread? :P

Got a perfect life?

Brag about it to anyone within earshot....then you wont have any freinds anymore..and your life will no longer BE perfect..and youll fit right in!

Squatches,

I have trouble closing the deal with women. I can't tell when I am supposed to kiss a girl, and desperately afraid I'll get smacked or sued by doing it at the wrong time or through misinterpreting their interest. How do I tell if a woman wants to be kissed, and if so how do I rectify this problem?

squatches: what do I do when waiting for my woman to come home?

Jim :lol:

Squatches,

I have trouble closing the deal with women. I can't tell when I am supposed to kiss a girl, and desperately afraid I'll get smacked or sued by doing it at the wrong time or through misinterpreting their interest. How do I tell if a woman wants to be kissed, and if so how do I rectify this problem?

Ahh da girlies...the fairer sex...the muse to our flights of fancy.....

Tough call.....

bribery.
Chocolates are the heroin to the girls junkie soul.

Also....look her in the eyes.
Move closer to her as though to kiss...and look her in the eyes....

If she gives you that .."Oh God No!!" look..its probably not a good idea.

squatches: what do I do when waiting for my woman to come home?

Jim :lol:

Clean the bathroom..that makes the girlies HOT.

squatches: what do I do when waiting for my woman to come home?

Jim :lol:

Clean the bathroom..that makes the girlies HOT.

squatches: what do I do when waiting for my woman to come home?

Jim :lol:

Clean the bathroom..that makes the girlies HOT.

K what do I do after that?

jim

squatches: what do I do when waiting for my woman to come home?

Jim :lol:

Clean the bathroom..that makes the girlies HOT.

K what do I do after that?

jim

well...

Overanticipation can be a killer to a nice romantic evening.
So.....as long as your in there.........

Squatches,

I have trouble closing the deal with women. I can't tell when I am supposed to kiss a girl, and desperately afraid I'll get smacked or sued by doing it at the wrong time or through misinterpreting their interest. How do I tell if a woman wants to be kissed, and if so how do I rectify this problem?

Ahh da girlies...the fairer sex...the muse to our flights of fancy.....

Tough call.....

bribery.
Chocolates are the heroin to the girls junkie soul.

Also....look her in the eyes.
Move closer to her as though to kiss...and look her in the eyes....

If she gives you that .."Oh God No!!" look..its probably not a good idea.

Pffft, lets face it, you'll never know what the other sex is thinking

Squatches,

I have trouble closing the deal with women. I can't tell when I am supposed to kiss a girl, and desperately afraid I'll get smacked or sued by doing it at the wrong time or through misinterpreting their interest. How do I tell if a woman wants to be kissed, and if so how do I rectify this problem?

Ahh da girlies...the fairer sex...the muse to our flights of fancy.....

Tough call.....

bribery.
Chocolates are the heroin to the girls junkie soul.

Also....look her in the eyes.
Move closer to her as though to kiss...and look her in the eyes....

If she gives you that .."Oh God No!!" look..its probably not a good idea.

Pffft, lets face it, you'll never know what the other sex is thinking


Mostly true!

Sometimes, you can guess what a woman will do, or is thinking by thinking to yourself....

"whats the last thing, or most irrational thing I could do right this very moment."

It works.

squatches: what do I do when waiting for my woman to come home?

Jim :lol:

Clean the bathroom..that makes the girlies HOT.

K what do I do after that?

jim

well...

Overanticipation can be a killer to a nice romantic evening.
So.....as long as your in there.........

paddle the gorilla? but I lost your moms pic.

Jim

squatches: what do I do when waiting for my woman to come home?

Jim :lol:

Clean the bathroom..that makes the girlies HOT.

K what do I do after that?

jim

well...

Overanticipation can be a killer to a nice romantic evening.
So.....as long as your in there.........

paddle the gorilla? but I lost your moms pic.

Jim

You lost it AGAIN?

Thats the fourth time this week!

Fine...I'll send you another one..but THIS time..its gonna cost ya.

squatches: what do I do when waiting for my woman to come home?

Jim :lol:

Clean the bathroom..that makes the girlies HOT.

K what do I do after that?

jim

well...

Overanticipation can be a killer to a nice romantic evening.
So.....as long as your in there.........

paddle the gorilla? but I lost your moms pic.

Jim

You lost it AGAIN?

Thats the fourth time this week!

Fine...I'll send you another one..but THIS time..its gonna cost ya.

LMFAO

Squatches,

I have trouble closing the deal with women. I can't tell when I am supposed to kiss a girl, and desperately afraid I'll get smacked or sued by doing it at the wrong time or through misinterpreting their interest. How do I tell if a woman wants to be kissed, and if so how do I rectify this problem?

Ahh da girlies...the fairer sex...the muse to our flights of fancy.....

Tough call.....

bribery.
Chocolates are the heroin to the girls junkie soul.

Also....look her in the eyes.
Move closer to her as though to kiss...and look her in the eyes....

If she gives you that .."Oh God No!!" look..its probably not a good idea.

Oh, that's the name for the look they're always shooting me. I didn't know it had a name. . . :wink:

Good thing my instincts were kicking in.

Squatches,

I have trouble closing the deal with women. I can't tell when I am supposed to kiss a girl, and desperately afraid I'll get smacked or sued by doing it at the wrong time or through misinterpreting their interest. How do I tell if a woman wants to be kissed, and if so how do I rectify this problem?

Ahh da girlies...the fairer sex...the muse to our flights of fancy.....

Tough call.....

bribery.
Chocolates are the heroin to the girls junkie soul.

Also....look her in the eyes.
Move closer to her as though to kiss...and look her in the eyes....

If she gives you that .."Oh God No!!" look..its probably not a good idea.

Oh, that's the name for the look they're always shooting me. I didn't know it had a name. . . :wink:

Good thing my instincts were kicking in.

Heres another thought that crosses my mind.

Maybe it will help.

Its from an old song:

"So if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.....so from my personal point of view..get an ugly girl to marry you!"

Squatches,

I have trouble closing the deal with women. I can't tell when I am supposed to kiss a girl, and desperately afraid I'll get smacked or sued by doing it at the wrong time or through misinterpreting their interest. How do I tell if a woman wants to be kissed, and if so how do I rectify this problem?

Ahh da girlies...the fairer sex...the muse to our flights of fancy.....

Tough call.....

bribery.
Chocolates are the heroin to the girls junkie soul.

Also....look her in the eyes.
Move closer to her as though to kiss...and look her in the eyes....

If she gives you that .."Oh God No!!" look..its probably not a good idea.

Oh, that's the name for the look they're always shooting me. I didn't know it had a name. . . :wink:

Good thing my instincts were kicking in.

Heres another thought that crosses my mind.

Maybe it will help.

Its from an old song:

"So if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.....so from my personal point of view..get an ugly girl to marry you!"

Being me seems to work, but you are not as lucky as I.

LOL

Jim

hmmm..

Squatches,

I have trouble closing the deal with women. I can't tell when I am supposed to kiss a girl, and desperately afraid I'll get smacked or sued by doing it at the wrong time or through misinterpreting their interest. How do I tell if a woman wants to be kissed, and if so how do I rectify this problem?

Ahh da girlies...the fairer sex...the muse to our flights of fancy.....

Tough call.....

bribery.
Chocolates are the heroin to the girls junkie soul.

Also....look her in the eyes.
Move closer to her as though to kiss...and look her in the eyes....

If she gives you that .."Oh God No!!" look..its probably not a good idea.

Oh, that's the name for the look they're always shooting me. I didn't know it had a name. . . :wink:

Good thing my instincts were kicking in.

Heres another thought that crosses my mind.

Maybe it will help.

Its from an old song:

"So if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.....so from my personal point of view..get an ugly girl to marry you!"

I will risk marrying a beautiful woman

Jim

Squatches,

I have trouble closing the deal with women. I can't tell when I am supposed to kiss a girl, and desperately afraid I'll get smacked or sued by doing it at the wrong time or through misinterpreting their interest. How do I tell if a woman wants to be kissed, and if so how do I rectify this problem?

Ahh da girlies...the fairer sex...the muse to our flights of fancy.....

Tough call.....

bribery.
Chocolates are the heroin to the girls junkie soul.

Also....look her in the eyes.
Move closer to her as though to kiss...and look her in the eyes....

If she gives you that .."Oh God No!!" look..its probably not a good idea.

Oh, that's the name for the look they're always shooting me. I didn't know it had a name. . . :wink:

Good thing my instincts were kicking in.

Heres another thought that crosses my mind.

Maybe it will help.

Its from an old song:

"So if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.....so from my personal point of view..get an ugly girl to marry you!"

I will risk marrying a beautiful woman

Jim

Dear Squatches,

Why don't you call me anymore? :(

Dear Squatches,

Why don't you call me anymore? :(


Dear Quillaz,

Because you wont give me your phone number.

Dear Squatches,

1) I play Tau in Warhammer 40K. I would like to know if I should add EMP grenades, Photon grenades, or none at all to my firewarriors.

3) Am I REALLY too sexy for my shirt?

4) What happened to 2)?

Dear Squatches,

1) I play Tau in Warhammer 40K. I would like to know if I should add EMP grenades, Photon grenades, or none at all to my firewarriors.

3) Am I REALLY too sexy for my shirt?

4) What happened to 2)?


Quillaz,

1.) Photon grenades?! EMP?!

If it doesnt go KA BOOOM!!! dont waste your valuable money.

Frag early....frag often.

3.) if it's made by OshKosh B'gosh.........probably.

4.) It was cascaded to IRQ 9

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/sns-ap-dear-abby-simpsons,1,6810390.story?coll=chi-news-hed

Could God Himself microwave a burrito so hot that even He Himself couldn't eat it?

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/sns-ap-dear-abby-simpsons,1,6810390.story?coll=chi-news-hed

Could God Himself microwave a burrito so hot that even He Himself couldn't eat it?

Possibly...but only while making the sound of one hand clapping.

I also recommend bumping.

Hmm... this problem has been a blight upon my mind since I began to think of my very own existence.

If it's the second Tuesday of March on any given leap year in the PM hours, and a llame explodes.... what do you do?

Hmm... this problem has been a blight upon my mind since I began to think of my very own existence.

If it's the second Tuesday of March on any given leap year in the PM hours, and a llame explodes.... what do you do?

If a lame with an extra "L" exploded...I wouldnt worry.
its lame after all.

But...

If a Llama expodes......it could be curtains for the free world.

Dear Squatches:

What do you think i should choose as a career path: Vampire hunter or Buisiness man, or mime? Or perhaps a Vampire hunting buisiness mime?

Dear Squatches:

What do you think i should choose as a career path: Vampire hunter or Buisiness man, or mime? Or perhaps a Vampire hunting buisiness mime?

I say...fight the real evil!

Go into business as a mime hunter!

They are the true scourge of society.

(Stalin was a mime)

Dear Squatches:

What do you think i should choose as a career path: Vampire hunter or Buisiness man, or mime? Or perhaps a Vampire hunting buisiness mime?

I say...fight the real evil!

Go into business as a mime hunter!

They are the true scourge of society.

(Stalin was a mime)

Thats the best thing ive heard all week. Thanks!

New question:Do you think its better to die from a giant machine-gun wielding eggplant, or spontaneous combustion?

Dear Squatches:

What do you think i should choose as a career path: Vampire hunter or Buisiness man, or mime? Or perhaps a Vampire hunting buisiness mime?

I say...fight the real evil!

Go into business as a mime hunter!

They are the true scourge of society.

(Stalin was a mime)

Thats the best thing ive heard all week. Thanks!

New question:Do you think its better to die from a giant machine-gun wielding eggplant, or spontaneous combustion?

Hmmm.....that depends..is it an eggplant that weilds a giant machine gun, or a giant eggplant with an ordinary sized machine gun?

Big difference.

Spontaneous human combustion might be cool though..at least that way..you'd likely end up on a documentary.

Dear BS *laughs for a brief moment at this abbreviation*

ah... where was i... yeah BS, help me! I need you omniscient advice. Should i bother going to my uni classes tomorrow? If yes, which ones. And should i bring candy?

Streakingly yours,

Viper

PS. Have lots of sex

Dear BS *laughs for a brief moment at this abbreviation*

ah... where was i... yeah BS, help me! I need you omniscient advice. Should i bother going to my uni classes tomorrow? If yes, which ones. And should i bring candy?

Streakingly yours,

Viper

PS. Have lots of sex

Hmmm...tough call...

Id say this....

If you dont have any tests tomorrow...screw it.
Take the day off.....maybe get drunk....

If you DO have a test tomorrow....
Go.
Bring candy.

But make sure you bring enough to share with the rest of the class.


Mmmmm......seeeex.

share my candy with the class? fuck off! MY CANDY! sex however...

share my candy with the class? f--- off! MY CANDY! sex however...

ok then...if you bring sex to class...'
Make sure you.......bring......enough.....err....

share my candy with the class? f--- off! MY CANDY! sex however...

ok then...if you bring sex to class...'
Make sure you.......bring......enough.....err....

yes.. especially considering most of my classes exceed 300 people...


Won't I be busy tomorrow!

share my candy with the class? f--- off! MY CANDY! sex however...

ok then...if you bring sex to class...'
Make sure you.......bring......enough.....err....

yes.. especially considering most of my classes exceed 300 people...


Won't I be busy tomorrow!

Busy indeed...and possibly sore.

My advice...

Drink plenty of fluids...and get LOTS of rest.

hey good advice!

BS, oh might one... I need to know the answers to the following questions:

A) What is a polite way to escape from telling a girl that her dress makes her look like a Tyrannosaurus Rex?

B) When will it be time for the rising?

BS, oh might one... I need to know the answers to the following questions:

A) What is a polite way to escape from telling a girl that her dress makes her look like a Tyrannosaurus Rex?

B) When will it be time for the rising?


Not an easy question....

here goes...

a)Sometimes its hard not freely express yourself when behooved by the offending dress....
I recommend associating the act of mentioning it, with the thought of stabbing your puppy.

Like this:

"Y'know...Honey...that dress....*stab puppy*....uhh...never mind."

You'll think twice about it in the future.
Its like aversion therapy.

b) Soon my pet......very soon.......

Dear Squatch,

Why are bananas delicious when they're green, but starchy and nasty when they're ripe?

Is it some kind of cruel trick? A little joke of fate? A parable...that we, like the bananas, are only tasty before we reach maturity?

The koan of the banana is driving me mad! Please help!

Signed,

Monkey-girl

*challenges mezzaluna to a duel*

*challenges mezzaluna to a duel*

Too sleepy.

Next time, I promise. :wink:

*Gives him a green banana*

Should i ever stop streaking? i didn't think so!

*streaks through the thread*

WoooHoooo!!!

Dear Squatch,

Why are bananas delicious when they're green, but starchy and nasty when they're ripe?

Is it some kind of cruel trick? A little joke of fate? A parable...that we, like the bananas, are only tasty before we reach maturity?

The koan of the banana is driving me mad! Please help!

Signed,

Monkey-girl

Uhhhh....Im a little worried about the "A parable...that we, like the bananas, are only tasty before we reach maturity?" thing....

So I'll just say this.....

"Babies.....fun to make..fun to eat!"

[Uhhhh....Im a little worried about the "A parable...that we, like the bananas, are only tasty before we reach maturity?" thing....

So I'll just say this.....

"Babies.....fun to make..fun to eat!"

Nah...nothing to worry about. Just the neuroses of a woman who's only five months from the big 3-0. (Darn cheerleaders and their darn cuteness *grumble grumble grumble*)

You're advice is well-phrased though.

*Eats a baby*

Mmmm....tasty! :D

Glad to help Mezz....

Dont worry about turning 30......some of us are facing that within months as well....

Sir SquishyBack,

I have several questions to perplex your woodsy knowledge.

1) What will preserve the English language with Internet speak feeding off its rotting carcase?

2) Why does the Dark Lord Gryxthyrulron want me to sacrifice kittens and air conditioner repairmen?

3) What is the air speed velocity of an unlaiden African Swallow.

4) Will the Atkins Diet mean the end of Guinness Extra Cold?

*challenges mezzaluna to a duel*

Too sleepy.

Next time, I promise. :wink:

*Gives him a green banana*

I can defeat you both 8)

http://www.magickalshadow.com/daca/

http://www.shelterfordarkness.com/dadv/index.html

http://www.angelfire.com/tx6/jimp/images/jim1004a.jpg
Ave Satanis!
Rege Satanis!
Hail Satan!

Big Jim P!

Sir SquishyBack,

I have several questions to perplex your woodsy knowledge.

1) What will preserve the English language with Internet speak feeding off its rotting carcase?

2) Why does the Dark Lord Gryxthyrulron want me to sacrifice kittens and air conditioner repairmen?

3) What is the air speed velocity of an unlaiden African Swallow.

4) Will the Atkins Diet mean the end of Guinness Extra Cold?


Ahhh.....Guiness...excellent questions...

Lets see what I can drudge up...

1.) Proper Grammar DAMMIT! YOU WILL CONFORM!!
People who use L337 speak, or "u r teh haxors" must be "re-educated", harshly.

2. Hmmm...I believe it has something to do with furry butt cleavage.

3. Flying North?

4. hmm...Possibly.
But..on the upside..I seem to remember some tale about a lot of rats falling into the vats at the Guinness plant, in the old days.
Once the rat problem was gone....the people complained about the taste of the beer....
So..the plant has since added pieces of meat to flavor it...

So......maybe that means that technically...Guinness is Atkins freindly?

Sir SquishyBack,

I have several questions to perplex your woodsy knowledge.

1) What will preserve the English language with Internet speak feeding off its rotting carcase?

2) Why does the Dark Lord Gryxthyrulron want me to sacrifice kittens and air conditioner repairmen?

3) What is the air speed velocity of an unlaiden African Swallow.

4) Will the Atkins Diet mean the end of Guinness Extra Cold?


Ahhh.....Guiness...excellent questions...

Lets see what I can drudge up...

1.) Proper Grammar DAMMIT! YOU WILL CONFORM!!
People who use L337 speak, or "u r teh haxors" must be "re-educated", harshly.

2. Hmmm...I believe it has something to do with furry butt cleavage.

3. Flying North?

4. hmm...Possibly.
But..on the upside..I seem to remember some tale about a lot of rats falling into the vats at the Guinness plant, in the old days.
Once the rat problem was gone....the people complained about the taste of the beer....
So..the plant has since added pieces of meat to flavor it...

So......maybe that means that technically...Guinness is Atkins freindly?

Guinness Extra Cold is satisfied.

Sir SquishyBack,

I have several questions to perplex your woodsy knowledge.

1) What will preserve the English language with Internet speak feeding off its rotting carcase?

2) Why does the Dark Lord Gryxthyrulron want me to sacrifice kittens and air conditioner repairmen?

3) What is the air speed velocity of an unlaiden African Swallow.

4) Will the Atkins Diet mean the end of Guinness Extra Cold?


Ahhh.....Guiness...excellent questions...

Lets see what I can drudge up...

1.) Proper Grammar DAMMIT! YOU WILL CONFORM!!
People who use L337 speak, or "u r teh haxors" must be "re-educated", harshly.

2. Hmmm...I believe it has something to do with furry butt cleavage.

3. Flying North?

4. hmm...Possibly.
But..on the upside..I seem to remember some tale about a lot of rats falling into the vats at the Guinness plant, in the old days.
Once the rat problem was gone....the people complained about the taste of the beer....
So..the plant has since added pieces of meat to flavor it...

So......maybe that means that technically...Guinness is Atkins freindly?

Guinness Extra Cold is satisfied.

Im glad you approve!

Bob Marley says:

Bump it Mon!

why dont you just *streak through*?

Dear Squatches,

Will I ever meet a beautiful girl who is a nerd like me? So far, my search has been futile. :(

Dear Squatches,

Will I ever meet a beautiful girl who is a nerd like me? So far, my search has been futile. :(

Contrary to popluar belief..Cute girls CAN be nerds!

however...you must venture away from the computer ( or whatever) to find them.

Try places where cute nerdy girls might go....like.....uhh...the Library!
Nerdy girls LOVE to read!!

Hope as much as you want...no beautiful nerdy women are going to wander into your bedroom, without the proper bait.
(believe me..Ive tried it already.)

Good Luck....happy hunting!

Dear Squatches,

Are you a nerdy, cute, girl?

Dear Squatches,

Are you a nerdy, cute, girl?

Sadly...no.

Im a remnant of a bygone era, clinging to his "coolness"...with strong nerd undercurrents.

O wise and all-knowing Squatch, please answer these two questions...
How can I safely get rid of gopher traps?
What can I do about those incredibly annoying underground noise-maker things? The closer one gets to them, the louder they are... *shudders*
Thank you, wise one, for your advice...

O wise and all-knowing Squatch, please answer these two questions...
How can I safely get rid of gopher traps?
What can I do about those incredibly annoying underground noise-maker things? The closer one gets to them, the louder they are... *shudders*
Thank you, wise one, for your advice...


Hmmm.....

Gopher advice...

Gopher traps eh?
You need minions.
I suggest bribing an unsuspecting mole to spring it for you.
That way..you dont have to get near it.
Besides....everyone knows moles are stupid.

What can I do about those incredibly annoying underground noise-maker things? The closer one gets to them, the louder they are... *shudders*

This one escapes me.....but..women can be like that sometimes.....
guess im not sure exactly what you mean...

Dear Squatches,

How am I able to lay my gopher traps more quickly and efficiently?

Ah, minions... always useful things to have around.

The noise-maker things are these electric gadgets (battery powered) that some people put in the ground to try to get rid of us. They keep making a whirring sound at reguler intervals, which is very bothersome.

Dear Squatches,

How am I able to lay my gopher traps more quickly and efficiently?
:x Do you want me to fill your house with dirt, instead of just eating part of your garden?!

Dear Squatches,

How am I able to lay my gopher traps more quickly and efficiently?

bribe an ususpecting yutz into helping you lay those traps.

Heres a hint:

Stupid people will often work for shiny baubles.

Ah, minions... always useful things to have around.

The noise-maker things are these electric gadgets (battery powered) that some people put in the ground to try to get rid of us. They keep making a whirring sound at reguler intervals, which is very bothersome.

OHHHH THOSE!

hmmm...

People often hang clothing out to dry on a line right?

So...snag a couple of shirts....rip em up.....stuff em in your little gopher ears....then approach the pesky things....and dissasemble them!
Or..if you lack thumbs.....urinate on the batteries.
That should do it.

Many thanks! Your advice is, as usual, excellent.

Many thanks! Your advice is, as usual, excellent.

No problem!

I do what I can....and now..I must sleep....

G'night!

One important question:

What German bomber did the Americans base the B2 off of?

Uhm...Was it the KG 200?

Its back......ASK THE SQUATCH!

Dear Squatch,

Why are bananas delicious when they're green, but starchy and nasty when they're ripe?

Is it some kind of cruel trick? A little joke of fate? A parable...that we, like the bananas, are only tasty before we reach maturity?

The koan of the banana is driving me mad! Please help!

Signed,

Monkey-girl

Don't worry... many of us still find you a-peeling...
*runs like hell*

All right. How about a stock tip for monday?

Its back......ASK THE SQUATCH!

Dear Squatches,

1) Do you prefer to be called Squatches, Squatch, or Sally?
2) Can we see a movie sometime?
3) Who's the cooler "man"? Spiderman, Iron man, Superman, Aquaman, or Batman?
4) Why does the new Star Trek series, Enterprise, suck?
5) Why do I like Star Trek: Voyager, when everybody else hates it?
6) Why are the Borg so dang saxay?

I need to know, and your the only one who can help me! it's an emrgency! i need to know wht colour underwear to wear tomorrow!!

I love you!

I need to know, and your the only one who can help me! it's an emrgency! i need to know wht colour underwear to wear tomorrow!!

Don't wear any underwear at all. Then you'd be considered "cool". 8)

Its back......ASK THE SQUATCH!

Dear Squatches,

1) Do you prefer to be called Squatches, Squatch, or Sally?
2) Can we see a movie sometime?
3) Who's the cooler "man"? Spiderman, Iron man, Superman, Aquaman, or Batman?
4) Why does the new Star Trek series, Enterprise, suck?
5) Why do I like Star Trek: Voyager, when everybody else hates it?
6) Why are the Borg so dang saxay?


1) Squatch will do nicely.

2) Uhh....on a completely plutonic basis..sure.

3) Batman....
Superman is a loaf....Spiderman is a goody goody....Iron man has sucked for a long time..and Aquaman is only good for talking to the fish.

4) Becuase everyone expects him to say "Oh Boy" at the beginning of each show.

5) Becuase the last two StarWars movies sucked.

6) Its the bald-chick factor.

Squatch! You're omniscient!

I need to know, and your the only one who can help me! it's an emrgency! i need to know wht colour underwear to wear tomorrow!!

Two words:

Go Commando.

If thats not an option...

Black silk boxers.

da ladies love em.

Squatch! You're omniscient!

I prefer "semi-phenomenal, nearly cosmic."

I need to know, and your the only one who can help me! it's an emrgency! i need to know wht colour underwear to wear tomorrow!!

Two words:

Go Commando.

If thats not an option...

Black silk boxers.

da ladies love em.

lol, i am a lady. will i still love them?

I need to know, and your the only one who can help me! it's an emrgency! i need to know wht colour underwear to wear tomorrow!!

Two words:

Go Commando.

If thats not an option...

Black silk boxers.

da ladies love em.

lol, i am a lady. will i still love them?

Alright then.....

Here's a mans opinion...

WOMEN IN BLACK SILK BOXERS = HAAAAAWT!!!!!

how did you get so smart?

how did you get so smart?

I learned everything I know by killing smart people and eating thier brains.

Mr. SquishyPants,

GEC here again, have a bit of a pickle I need help with.

Red wire or Green Wire?

I kinda need to know within the next 30 seconds.

Mr. SquishyPants,

GEC here again, have a bit of a pickle I need help with.

Red wire or Green Wire?

I kinda need to know within the next 30 seconds.

* Notices the time posted.......*

Aww crap!

Guinness?

GUINNESS??

THE RED ONE!! THE RED ONE!!!!

.................................................................................................... ...

.................................................................................................... ...


Dammit!

He still owes me five bucks!

.................................................................................................... ...


Dammit!

He still owes me five bucks!

*Rises from the dead*

Five Bucks?

You are so getting haunted.

.................................................................................................... ...


Dammit!

He still owes me five bucks!

*Rises from the dead*

Five Bucks?

You are so getting haunted.

WHEW!!'

I thought you were a goner!

Guess I'll try to be a bit more swift with my advice.....

Heeeeees Baaaaaack!!

Okay, more questions.

1. If my company pollutes the environment, hires lawyers to sue everyone who develops anything that even remotely resembles our own product (which causes the growth of an extra set of genitals in rats), and, during WW2 supplied the nazis with parts for the T-34s, is it okay for us to charge a premium for excellence?

2. If not, can we get a tax rebate for the pollutants?

Okay, more questions.

1. If my company pollutes the environment, hires lawyers to sue everyone who develops anything that even remotely resembles our own product (which causes the growth of an extra set of genitals in rats), and, during WW2 supplied the nazis with parts for the T-34s, is it okay for us to charge a premium for excellence?

2. If not, can we get a tax rebate for the pollutants?


Hmmm.....lets see...

1) No. You should be flogged.

2.) No. (see above).


Extra set of genitals eh?

Those lucky rats!

Why won't my bitch make my dinner?

Why won't my bitch make my dinner?

Have you tried slapping her around a little?

yeah i did. slapped Cuneo on the ass, then just plain old slapped him around but he fucked off. should i go slap him some more?

Well, Squatch. If that's how you feel, then I have no choice but to have a factory built in your home town.

Just out of curiousity, if a product has a 50% chance of changing someone's sex retroactively to birth, can we sell it as a medical aid?

We also have a car making subsidary. Is it okay if we set up a warranty agreement that's written in microscopic sanskrit, and contains various physically impossible obligations?

yeah i did. slapped Cuneo on the ass, then just plain old slapped him around but he f--- off. should i go slap him some more?

Ohhhh HIM...

Yes...slap away!

I dunno why, really.

Suppose a friend hurts a family member; what should you do?

Suppose a friend hurts a family member; what should you do?

oooh.

A serious one.

If you can keep a level head......call the police.

If you cant......

Your gonna have lots of friends in your life.

You only get one family.

blood is thicker than water.

Suppose a friend hurts a family member; what should you do?

oooh.

A serious one.

If you can keep a level head......call the police.

If you cant......

Your gonna have lots of friends in your life.

You only get one family.

blood is thicker than water.

Thanks. That's pretty much what I thought too.

Suppose a friend hurts a family member; what should you do?

oooh.

A serious one.

If you can keep a level head......call the police.

If you cant......

Your gonna have lots of friends in your life.

You only get one family.

blood is thicker than water.

Thanks. That's pretty much what I thought too.

Your welcome.
I hope everything works out for you.

You need answers....I got tons!

Ask the Squatch!

question; my boxers smell like gasoline, what should i do?

question; my boxers smell like gasoline, what should i do?

Your best bet....

1.Stop making love at the local gas station.

2. Just becuase you CAN douse yourself with gasoline, while screaming "I am the Lizard King!"...doesnt mean you should.

3. wash them.

question; is it wrong for me to open my apartment windows while im only in my underwear, and my neighbors can see me doing it?

Why do I laugh uncontrolably?

:lol:

http://www.magickalshadow.com/daca/

http://www.shelterfordarkness.com/dadv/index.html

http://www.angelfire.com/tx6/jimp/images/jim1004a.jpg
Ave Satanis!
Rege Satanis!
Hail Satan!

Big Jim P!
SC!

question; is it wrong for me to open my apartment windows while im only in my underwear, and my neighbors can see me doing it?

how much do you weigh?

question; is it wrong for me to open my apartment windows while im only in my underwear, and my neighbors can see me doing it?

how much do you weigh? 6'4, 203 pounds

question; is it wrong for me to open my apartment windows while im only in my underwear, and my neighbors can see me doing it?

how much do you weigh?

Why does the squatche ask a question?

http://www.magickalshadow.com/daca/

http://www.shelterfordarkness.com/dadv/index.html

http://www.angelfire.com/tx6/jimp/images/jim1004a.jpg
Ave Satanis!
Rege Satanis!
Hail Satan!

Big Jim P!
SC!

Why do I laugh uncontrolably?

:lol:

http://www.magickalshadow.com/daca/

http://www.shelterfordarkness.com/dadv/index.html

http://www.angelfire.com/tx6/jimp/images/jim1004a.jpg
Ave Satanis!
Rege Satanis!
Hail Satan!

Big Jim P!
SC!

You been sniffing glue again?

I thought we already talked about that.

question; is it wrong for me to open my apartment windows while im only in my underwear, and my neighbors can see me doing it?

how much do you weigh? 6'4, 203 pounds

Let it hang my freind.

question; is it wrong for me to open my apartment windows while im only in my underwear, and my neighbors can see me doing it?

how much do you weigh?

Why does the squatche ask a question?

http://www.magickalshadow.com/daca/

http://www.shelterfordarkness.com/dadv/index.html

http://www.angelfire.com/tx6/jimp/images/jim1004a.jpg
Ave Satanis!
Rege Satanis!
Hail Satan!

Big Jim P!
SC!

You would want me to give an answer without being fully informed now, would you?

squatch, have u ever heard of the movie `Hero` with Jet Li. A lot like Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. Chinese movie. out in the west? i dunno.

question; is it wrong for me to open my apartment windows while im only in my underwear, and my neighbors can see me doing it?

how much do you weigh? 6'4, 203 pounds

Let it hang my freind. so i can open my window?

squatch, have u ever heard of the movie `Hero` with Jet Li. A lot like Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. Chinese movie. out in the west? i dunno.

Havent seen that one, but if you like Jet Li flicks, i recommend "Fist Of Legend."

Pretty cool re-make of Bruce Lee's "Fists Of Fury".

Also, Check out "Hard Boiled' With Cho Yun Fat.
(awesome.)

question; is it wrong for me to open my apartment windows while im only in my underwear, and my neighbors can see me doing it?

how much do you weigh? 6'4, 203 pounds

Let it hang my freind. so i can open my window?

Only if someones watching.

Otherwise....whats the point?

ooh, new question, have you seen kikujiro? or any beat takeshi movies?

sweet. Bruce is my idol dude.

You would want me to give an answer without being fully informed now, would you?

why not?

question; is it wrong for me to open my apartment windows while im only in my underwear, and my neighbors can see me doing it?

how much do you weigh?

Why does the squatche ask a question?

http://www.magickalshadow.com/daca/

http://www.shelterfordarkness.com/dadv/index.html

http://www.angelfire.com/tx6/jimp/images/jim1004a.jpg
Ave Satanis!
Rege Satanis!
Hail Satan!

Big Jim P!
SC!

ooh, new question, have you seen kikujiro? or any beat takeshi movies?

Cant say that I have.....anime is it?

ooh, new question, have you seen kikujiro? or any beat takeshi movies?

Cant say that I have.....anime is it?hell no! its a live action movie, im not a huge anime fan but i do like akira, and ninja scroll. its a really good movie although in one scene one of the main characters (kikujiro) rescues a child from a child molester, but other than that its a really funny, and heartwarming feelgood movie.

sweet. Bruce is my idol dude.

Mine too.

Bruce didnt need wires, or special effects to be badder than Shaft, he only used skill.

Jet Li is pretty cool..but he aint no Bruce.

You would want me to give an answer without being fully informed now, would you?

why not?

question; is it wrong for me to open my apartment windows while im only in my underwear, and my neighbors can see me doing it?

how much do you weigh?

Why does the squatche ask a question?

http://www.magickalshadow.com/daca/

http://www.shelterfordarkness.com/dadv/index.html

http://www.angelfire.com/tx6/jimp/images/jim1004a.jpg
Ave Satanis!
Rege Satanis!
Hail Satan!

Big Jim P!
SC!

Now, what kind of advice column would this be if I agve half-assed advice?
:wink:

sweet. Bruce is my idol dude.

Mine too.

Bruce didnt need wires, or special effects to be badder than Shaft, he only used skill.

Jet Li is pretty cool..but he aint no Bruce.

exactly. nunchucks. *drools*
jet li and jackie chan are cool. jackie is cooler, but makes shite movies. jet uses to much wires and special effects, but some of his movies rock.

sweet. Bruce is my idol dude.

Mine too.

Bruce didnt need wires, or special effects to be badder than Shaft, he only used skill.

Jet Li is pretty cool..but he aint no Bruce.

exactly. nunchucks. *drools*
jet li and jackie chan are cool. jackie is cooler, but makes shite movies. jet uses to much wires and special effects, but some of his movies rock.jackie doesnt make shitty movies, seen drunken master?

sorry. i apologize profusely.

drunken master is one of my favorite movies. I meant his new movies. The old ones are insane! Rumble in the bronx is a new one, but its pretty cool.

sweet. Bruce is my idol dude.

Mine too.

Bruce didnt need wires, or special effects to be badder than Shaft, he only used skill.

Jet Li is pretty cool..but he aint no Bruce.

exactly. nunchucks. *drools*
jet li and jackie chan are cool. jackie is cooler, but makes shite movies. jet uses to much wires and special effects, but some of his movies rock.

Im about 50/50 on Jackie Chan..some are good..some are crap.
Drunken Master was decent enough....he prefers action comedies.
Jets movies are more action packed, but all the wire-Fu gets ion my nerves a little.

"Kiss of The Dragon" rocked though.

sorry. i apologize profusely.

drunken master is one of my favorite movies. I meant his new movies. The old ones are insane! Rumble in the bronx is a new one, but its pretty cool. rumble was cool, but have you seen any of the police story movies?

sorry. i apologize profusely.

drunken master is one of my favorite movies. I meant his new movies. The old ones are insane! Rumble in the bronx is a new one, but its pretty cool. rumble was cool, but have you seen any of the police story movies?

I think those are among Chan's best.

ive seen a bunch of jackie chan, but i dont know the names. i watch here in japan, so i dont usually catch the titles.

ive seen a bunch of jackie chan, but i dont know the names. i watch here in japan, so i dont usually catch the titles.

I must also give Sho Kusugi an honorable mention for gratuitous killing in "Pray for DEATH."

ive seen a bunch of jackie chan, but i dont know the names. i watch here in japan, so i dont usually catch the titles.where do you live in japan? i've always wanted to go there, or hong kong. and are you native japanese, or foriegn?

im american, im foreign exchange student here in japan. take everything you hear about japan with a large load of skeptism. i live in Niigata (500,000 pop)

k, see you guys. i gotta go. talk to u later probably.

seen any akira kurosawa(sp?) movies?

thats right people.....over 7 pages of satisfied customers, who were craving answers to lifes daily questions..all answered by the Squatch!

thats right people.....over 7 pages of satisfied customers, who were craving answers to lifes daily questions..all answered by the Squatch!

Noi. Too easy.

Jim

thats right people.....over 7 pages of satisfied customers, who were craving answers to lifes daily questions..all answered by the Squatch!

Noi. Too easy.

Jim

Im like the golden arches baby!

thats right people.....over 7 pages of satisfied customers, who were craving answers to lifes daily questions..all answered by the Squatch!

Noi. Too easy.

Jim

Im like the golden arches baby!

Too easy I'd say?

Jim

thats right people.....over 7 pages of satisfied customers, who were craving answers to lifes daily questions..all answered by the Squatch!

Noi. Too easy.

Jim

Im like the golden arches baby!

Too easy I'd say?

Jim

Not "easy"....just cheap.

Okay how about a good stock pick for monday or if not what should I sell short?

Okay how about a good stock pick for monday or if not what should I sell short?

Hmmm.....

Since summer is right around the corner..I would invest in companies that produce refridgerants used in air conditioners.

Okay how about a good stock pick for monday or if not what should I sell short?

Hmmm.....

Since summer is right around the corner..I would invest in companies that produce refridgerants used in air conditioners.invest in fridgeidair(sp?) and GE

Nice one.

Nice one.

I thought so.

Its also a good idea to invest in futures, like heating oil in the fall.

heres another.

If you own K-mart stock....

SELL!!

bah, this isnt funny anymore

bah, this isnt funny anymore

Im laughing.

Its back ad nuaseum......

ASK THE SQUATCH!

ok so should i light a bunch of gasoline on fire, or my house?

well??????

ok so should i light a bunch of gasoline on fire, or my house?

Isnt that where you keep your stuff?

u mean my gasoline? u r not a very helpful person

u mean my gasoline? u r not a very helpful person

Oh sorry....
I'd say..the gasoline!

Your house is where you keep your stuff...

You LIKE your stuff dont you?

no ot really.... i think ill just put a bunch of gasoline on my house and then burn it down.... yah!

no ot really.... i think ill just put a bunch of gasoline on my house and then burn it down.... yah!

Well..ok..but then you wont have anywhere to put any new stuff you get.
...and you know what Carlin says about stuff.

Your stuff is your stuff...
Other peopes stuff is shit.

"whats this shit doing here? I have to put my stuff here!"

i dont need stuff... i got a shank and some gloves and a shoppin cart thats all i need

i dont need stuff... i got a shank and some gloves and a shoppin cart thats all i need

I see your a man of few needs then.

Eh....torch it.

its being burnt as we speak.. though i should probably leave the house soon eh?

its being burnt as we speak.. though i should probably leave the house soon eh?

Yes.

Bundle up.
Its cold outside.

umm actually, i live on an island close 2 nicaragua, and its not very cold here especially with the island going up in flames, i expect fire boats here shortly

umm actually, i live on an island close 2 nicaragua, and its not very cold here especially with the island going up in flames, i expect fire boats here shortly

Oh.

Uhmm....

Bring a sandwich?

and maybe a towel.....you can never have enough towels.

good idea, except i think i burnt that all up already, the fire boats are here but i cant understand them much cos they speakin the whole spanish thing. my island is only like 5 acres and i live alone on it

good idea, except i think i burnt that all up already, the fire boats are here but i cant understand them much cos they speakin the whole spanish thing. my island is only like 5 acres and i live alone on it

just point and Yell...."Peligro! Peligro!!"

That usually works for me.

isnt that dog... anyways i got to go i think they want to kill me... i said donde estas mis pantelones and they looked at me wierd, anyways time to talk with the policia, bye

isnt that dog... anyways i got to go i think they want to kill me... i said donde estas mis pantelones and they looked at me wierd, anyways time to talk with the policia, bye

I think dog is "perro"

But I can tell you this:

"Yo tango es piscadas en me pantalones...grande piscadas...MUCHO grande piscadas."

ok i think my girlfriend might be seeing someone else she talks about this guy that she started hanging around with and when i asked her if she was gonna break up with me she wouldnt give me a straight answer do you think she's seeing another guy?

When?
Who?
Whom?
Where?
How?

Thank you in advance for answering my questions.

Mr. SquishyPants,

I have a friend, lets call him Mr. Snrub and he is very depressed. It seems that he wants end his life and the best thing I can do for him is to ask for help on an Internet forum frequented by 14 year olds and the mentally challenged.

What do you suggest I do for him that would not be covered by the many professionally staffed suicide hotlines around the country? What could you, a person of unknown education, sanity or experience advice me to do in this situation?

Yours without common sense,

Mr. Snrub...I mean Mr. Not-Snrub.

ok i think my girlfriend might be seeing someone else she talks about this guy that she started hanging around with and when i asked her if she was gonna break up with me she wouldnt give me a straight answer do you think she's seeing another guy?

If she didnt answer you straight away..."No!".....

Then shes thinking about it, and hasnt decided.....

Thats what you need to know..the rest...is up to you.

When?
Who?
Whom?
Where?
How?

Thank you in advance for answering my questions.

You.
Me.
Anywhere is good I suppose.
With a stapler.

Your welcome.

Mr. SquishyPants,

I have a friend, lets call him Mr. Snrub and he is very depressed. It seems that he wants end his life and the best thing I can do for him is to ask for help on an Internet forum frequented by 14 year olds and the mentally challenged.

What do you suggest I do for him that would not be covered by the many professionally staffed suicide hotlines around the country? What could you, a person of unknown education, sanity or experience advice me to do in this situation?

Yours without common sense,

Mr. Snrub...I mean Mr. Not-Snrub.

I would advise you to seek the very questionable advice from the very same, possibly deranged, or equally young person, who is providing a parody of an advice column.


Oh wait.....you did that.
Crap......fresh out of ideas.

:wink:

Dear Squatches:

In your opinion, what is the meaning of life, and do you think Mimes are a key factor in it?

Dear Squatches:

In your opinion, what is the meaning of life, and do you think Mimes are a key factor in it?

Thats a very good question Ravea, Im glad you asked.
The meaning of life is revenge.
Isnt that sort of petty, you ask?
Yes. Its is.
Revenge on who, you ask?
All of them.
Every last one of em.
True joy is crushing your enemies under your heel.

Mimes......mimes are evil.
You know why they dont speak?
Cuase they all communicate with each other telepathically, sending their messages of hate, and global domination to each other.
To be absolutely safe....shoot them on sight.
You can never be too careful around mimes.

good luck!

Dear Squatches,

Who should I pick for my NCAA Men's Basketball Final Four?

Dear Squatches,

Who should I pick for my NCAA Men's Basketball Final Four?

The team with the least amount of white guys.

Dear Squatches,

Who should I pick for my NCAA Men's Basketball Final Four?

The team with the least amount of white guys.

Ah. You are very wise.

Let me ask you another question.

Who do you think will win the NCAA Men's Hockey Tournament?

Dear Squatches,

Who should I pick for my NCAA Men's Basketball Final Four?

The team with the least amount of white guys.

Ah. You are very wise.

Let me ask you another question.

Who do you think will win the NCAA Men's Hockey Tournament?

The team with most amount of Canadian, Norweigan, or Swedish foreign exchange students.

Dear Squatches,

Who should I pick for my NCAA Men's Basketball Final Four?

The team with the least amount of white guys.

Ah. You are very wise.

Let me ask you another question.

Who do you think will win the NCAA Men's Hockey Tournament?

The team with most amount of Canadian, Norweigan, or Swedish foreign exchange students.

Excellent.

Final question.

What is the square root of the cosine of the angle opposite the hypoteneuse of a isoceles triangle?

Dear Squatches,

Who should I pick for my NCAA Men's Basketball Final Four?

The team with the least amount of white guys.

Ah. You are very wise.

Let me ask you another question.

Who do you think will win the NCAA Men's Hockey Tournament?

The team with most amount of Canadian, Norweigan, or Swedish foreign exchange students.

Excellent.

Final question.

What is the square root of the cosine of the angle opposite the hypoteneuse of a isoceles triangle?

.........


First....

Is this a real question?

Is this a real question?

You are brilliant. It was, in fact, a trick question. The correct answer would have been, "Who gives a damn?"

Is this a real question?

You are brilliant. It was, in fact, a trick question. The correct answer would have been, "Who gives a damn?"

wow!
Thats conveinient...cause I was thinking.."What is....Blue?"

Dear Squatches:

This kid told me to turn down my Metallica music, so I kicked his ass. But it turns out that he probably didn't know what he was saying, because he is a "Special Needs Child", and he's in a wheelchair. Am I cool or what?

-Emperor Jim.

Dear Squatches:

This kid told me to turn down my Metallica music, so I kicked his ass. But it turns out that he probably didn't know what he was saying, because he is a "Special Needs Child", and he's in a wheelchair. Am I cool or what?

-Emperor Jim.

Definately.

As they said in Motorbreath, the song, I believe....
"We'll never stop, we'll never quit...'cause were metallica!"

So get used to them being around....FOREVER.
No matter HOW bad the next album gets.
As for that kid......
He had it coming.
Just becuase they sit in wheelchairs and drool.....doesnt mean theyre not "smarting off" at you!

and thus:

I bump.

Dear Sqautches:

Who?
What?
When?
Where?
How?
Why?

Dear Sqautches:

Who?
What?
When?
Where?
How?
Why?

me.
that radish.
soon.
right here.
carefully.
why not?

Dear Squatches,

Should I take full I.B. in highschool?

hey squatch

i have 3 months left in japan, should i ask random girls to screw me?

Dear Squatches,

Should I take full I.B. in highschool?

That very much depends on what "I.B'" is...

If its "imbedded basketweaving.".......no...skip that one.

Dear Squatches,

Should I take full I.B. in highschool?

That very much depends on what "I.B'" is...

If its "imbedded basketweaving.".......no...skip that one.

I.B. = International baccalaureate

Dear Squatches,

Should I take full I.B. in highschool?

That very much depends on what "I.B'" is...

If its "imbedded basketweaving.".......no...skip that one.

I.B. = International baccalaureate

I'd be wary of anthing with so many vowels.

Dear Squatch,

Is it wrong to talk to yourself?

Dear Squatch,

Is it wrong to talk to yourself?

No not at all.

But..maybe its time to let this thread die?

Dear Squatch,

Is it wrong to talk to yourself?

No not at all.

But..maybe its time to let this thread die?no, not yet my friend

Dear Squatch,

Is it wrong to talk to yourself?

No not at all.

But..maybe its time to let this thread die?no, not yet my friend

Whoohoo!!!!

O.k then!

What should I do about my organization the grassroots fighters for nationstates future and the ridicule it has been receiving?

Okay the question is.......


If you just found out you had to move and leave a really good looking chick what do you do? What if she's moving somehwere else too?

What should I do about my organization the grassroots fighters for nationstates future and the ridicule it has been receiving?

what you need is a catchy phrase....

or a better acronym..

So far all youve got is:

"O.G.F.N.F.F."

whats up with that?

What should I do about my organization the grassroots fighters for nationstates future and the ridicule it has been receiving?

what you need is a catchy phrase....

or a better acronym..

So far all youve got is:

"O.G.F.N.F.F."

whats up with that?

your right, but people say our organization is made of child molestors, and anti free speechers.

Okay the question is.......


If you just found out you had to move and leave a really good looking chick what do you do? What if she's moving somehwere else too?

Hmmm..
A good question.

Try desparately to have wild animal sex with her......she may be more willing if shes never gonna see you again!

Okay the question is.......


If you just found out you had to move and leave a really good looking chick what do you do? What if she's moving somehwere else too?

Hmmm..
A good question.

Try desparately to have wild animal sex with her......she may be more willing if shes never gonna see you again!

MODALERT: Approved by the Grassroots Fighters of Nationstates Future

Okay the question is.......


If you just found out you had to move and leave a really good looking chick what do you do? What if she's moving somehwere else too?

Hmmm..
A good question.

Try desparately to have wild animal sex with her......she may be more willing if shes never gonna see you again!

MODALERT: Approved by the Grassroots Fighters of Nationstates Future

Mod alert??

Whatever for?

Okay the question is.......


If you just found out you had to move and leave a really good looking chick what do you do? What if she's moving somehwere else too?

Hmmm..
A good question.

Try desparately to have wild animal sex with her......she may be more willing if shes never gonna see you again!

MODALERT: Approved by the Grassroots Fighters of Nationstates Future

Mod alert??

Whatever for?

talking about dirty animal you know what approved by grassroots Fighters for nationtates future.

AM I TOO MUCH OF A HYPOCRITE?

Okay the question is.......


If you just found out you had to move and leave a really good looking chick what do you do? What if she's moving somehwere else too?

Hmmm..
A good question.

Try desparately to have wild animal sex with her......she may be more willing if shes never gonna see you again!

MODALERT: Approved by the Grassroots Fighters of Nationstates Future

Mod alert??

Whatever for?

talking about dirty animal you know what approved by grassroots Fighters for nationtates future.

I have no idea of what you are talking about.
I advise you to eat a brick.

AM I TOO MUCH OF A HYPOCRITE?

Well, yes.
Frankly you are.....but the way I see it, your job must not pay too well....so what can we really expect?
Do you get holidays off?

Or Vacation pay?

Over time benefits?
healthplan?

I didnt think so....

So..maybe its alright if you are.

AM I TOO MUCH OF A HYPOCRITE?

Well, yes.
Frankly you are.....but the way I see it, your job must not pay too well....so what can we really expect?
Do you get holidays off?

Or Vacation pay?

Over time benefits?
healthplan?

I didnt think so....

So..maybe its alright if you are.

DEAR ME, YOUR RIGHT. I HEAR ALPHA CENTURI IS GOOD THIS TIME OF THE MILLENIA

Ok: squatche:

Why am I here?

:lol:


http://www.angelfire.com/tx6/jimp/images/jim1004a.jpg
Ave Satanis!
Rege Satanis!
Hail Satan!

Big Jim P!
SC!

http://www.magickalshadow.com/daca/

http://www.shelterfordarkness.com/dadv/index.html

Ok: squatche:

Why am I here?

:lol:


http://www.angelfire.com/tx6/jimp/images/jim1004a.jpg
Ave Satanis!
Rege Satanis!
Hail Satan!

Big Jim P!
SC!


I can answer that one. To make my life as happy, fun, exciting, and great as possible, while continuing to spoil me rotten and love me best ;)

http://www.magickalshadow.com/daca/

http://www.shelterfordarkness.com/dadv/index.html

Ok: squatche:

Why am I here?

:lol:


http://www.angelfire.com/tx6/jimp/images/jim1004a.jpg
Ave Satanis!
Rege Satanis!
Hail Satan!

Big Jim P!
SC!

http://www.magickalshadow.com/daca/

http://www.shelterfordarkness.com/dadv/index.html

To piss off christians.

YOU GO BOY!

When a problem comes along.....

You must *bump* it...

Now *bump* it.....*bump* it good!

BS, how will I know when the right woman comes along? I don't want to miss her.

BS, how will I know when the right woman comes along? I don't want to miss her.

Well...

You ever hear about how when people say that they see a certain girl (or guy..or whatever) and they feel sick to thier stomach.....and thier knees get all weak...and they feel like they want to pass out?

Its kinda like that.

Or....

Maybe you ate a bad clam..

squatch, should i eat chinese food, or blimpie tomorrow?

hello? waiting for an answer

BS, how will I know when the right woman comes along? I don't want to miss her.

Well...

You ever hear about how when people say that they see a certain girl (or guy..or whatever) and they feel sick to thier stomach.....and thier knees get all weak...and they feel like they want to pass out?

Its kinda like that.

Or....

Maybe you ate a bad clam..

So, since I don't eat shellfish, the next time I feel sick, I should ask the girl next to me to marry me?

hello? waiting for an answer

Sorry..I didnt notice you there...

I recommend chinese...

Unless...

You have a Korean restaruant nearby.

Bulgolgi rules!

Koreans are tasty.

BS, how will I know when the right woman comes along? I don't want to miss her.

Well...

You ever hear about how when people say that they see a certain girl (or guy..or whatever) and they feel sick to thier stomach.....and thier knees get all weak...and they feel like they want to pass out?

Its kinda like that.

Or....

Maybe you ate a bad clam..

So, since I don't eat shellfish, the next time I feel sick, I should ask the girl next to me to marry me?

Sure!

But dont barf on her until AFTER she says yes.

Why won't 1 Infinite Loop make ma a flag? Should i get God to smite him?

Why won't 1 Infinite Loop make ma a flag? Should i get God to smite him?

Why not?

But be warned.....god doesnt work cheap!

hello? waiting for an answer

Sorry..I didnt notice you there...

I recommend chinese...

Unless...

You have a Korean restaruant nearby.

Bulgolgi rules!

Koreans are tasty.

i have a thai place nearby, what about that?

ok, i'll go ask god how much he's worth.

Spank you BS

hello? waiting for an answer

Sorry..I didnt notice you there...

I recommend chinese...

Unless...

You have a Korean restaruant nearby.

Bulgolgi rules!

Koreans are tasty.

i have a thai place nearby, what about that?

Thai is good too.
Pad Pak is good.
spicy.

squatches, i found a hundred dollar bill today in the chick-fil-a parking lot, what should i spend it on?

squatches, i found a hundred dollar bill today in the chick-fil-a parking lot, what should i spend it on?

me. and sex.

squatches, i found a hundred dollar bill today in the chick-fil-a parking lot, what should i spend it on?

me. and sex.
kinky

squatches, i found a hundred dollar bill today in the chick-fil-a parking lot, what should i spend it on?

Beer, and pornography.

The gifts that keep on giving!

I says :

bump!

I need to buy a new CD player.

Do I want to get one that is SACD compatible :?:

Will SACD ultimately replace normal CD or will it die in a couple of years :!:

I need to buy a new CD player.

Do I want to get one that is SACD compatible :?:

Will SACD ultimately replace normal CD or will it die in a couple of years :!:

yes.

Yes, but not for a few years.

squatch, do you like this picture?

http://explodingdog.com/dumbpict51/isthatreallyme.gif

im in the market for a new digital camcorder. any sugestions?

No.

Frankly....I wish you'd delete it.

OR....

Make me a sandwich.

*delivers a top-quality sandwich*

*delivers a top-quality sandwich*

Thank you....

Come the revolution..you will be spared.

Are there any porn sites on the web that are actually worth paying for :?:

*delivers a top-quality sandwich*

Thank you....

Come the revolution..you will be spared.
Is it a revolution that will spawn a sandwich driven economy???? If so, the Unidentified masses are already there, brother!!!

All for the sandwich economy (with burritos used for high ticket items)