NationStates Jolt Archive

(Quiet little rp may get loud may not upto the visitors tis visitor driven)
Welcome to the Coffee shop at the begining, end, middle and mmmm all the other points in the universe...
Come in pick up a book have a chat, get a cup of coffee, maybe some cake. Prehaps a pie? or a piece of fruit! a soft drink or some tasty hot chocolate...

A small coffee shop that sits on a street somewhere between here and there with a pretty parade of shops where all sorts can be bought or sold. The style is somewhere from medieval to victorian, past modern, through to post modern and right off into space age... a strange and constant contrast of pastal colours and cobbeled paths.

As you enter a dull wooden bar with a variaty of cake stands and biscuits with coffee, tea and chocolate making paraphenalia. Tables and chairs are skattered around the large main room and books line the tall walls.

The Singularity Coffee shop is currently looking for waiting staff we pay well. We're also looking for a new cook, our last one vanished several months ago and is yet to reappear... all applicants are welcome.

Prices are low so come along and engage in coffee shop type relaxation and babbel. Jazz night on thursdays!

*sits on a stool behind the counter reading a dog eared copy of the Socialist Worker 2001 May edition drinking a cup of coffee hoping that he hasn't just made a huge mistake in opening up the Singularity Coffee Shop*

>>>>>>>>
note added
(Quiet little rp may get loud may not upto the visitors tis visitor driven)

I'll just sip a cup of tinto whilst reading No One Writes to the Colonel (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=2874206) and hope that Omega doesn't turn up anytime soon.

*Amazed at the arrival of a customer and very nearly fell off his chair but managed to redeem himself by remembering where everything was... *

My first customer, well first come first to get a free drink methinks
*wonders to a book shelf and picks up the miserable book "Practical Lotus script*
*muttering to himself* less interesting then a vcr manual *sits back down behind the counter*

*Sips on an iced green tea while reading a magazine which my political satire got into*

"Hi, Just call me Izumi." ^_^

*sits down and starts reading Nebula Awards Anthology*

*takes a drink of chilled chai*

"Welcome in Izumi, I've sent a reply to your request I'd be over the loon if you'd help keep this place ship shape!"

Coffee pot whistles in the background
*grabs another coffee, wondering exactly how much he can make if he keeps on drinking coffee at this rate... picks up a copy of "Big Eyes Little Mouth" and a note pad and starts plotting out a few adventures*

A unforgivingly ugly gentleman slowly enters the coffee shop. Looking down at his feet to avoid eye contact with others, he takes the nearest seat and sits alone at a table.

*I look around carefully at the selection of books around the shop, but cant find anything remotely interesting to read and so I pull a copy of the 'Daily Star' out from within my jacket*

*Plucking up the courage to ask for an ice cream soda, some cheese straws and a large cream bun, whilst scanning the paper for the latest celebrity gossip to hit the country*

*raises eyebrow momenterily, shrugs, gets the order*
*strolls back to the counter after a moment realises there is a very large trout laying on the counter*
*blinks*
*trout blinks*
"Okay who put the trout here?"
"One coffee and a straw please" the trout asks in excellent aristocratic English...
*blinks*
*trout blinks*
*shrugs*
*gets the drink and the straw and places it next to the trout*
The trout is now located on a table in a fish tank with the straw sticking out of the top
"one of those days"I whistle to myself
The fish hums a little tune

*Under the protection of the Daily Star, I slowly pear over the newspaper and stare at the trout drinking coffee from a straw.*
*Raises an eye brow*
*Turns back to my paper to read about a man with 7 testicles and his 2ft wife*
*Feeling hungry.......................................*
*Plucks up courage to stand up ready to walk over to the counter, looks at Gentleman behind the counter.*



*Looses courage, sits back down again............red faced and feeling like a gimp*

[trout blinks]

*I blink*
*wonders over to the daily star reader*
"Could I take an order sir?"
*notes the news... story*
*notes the trout again*

*a small grey dog sits on the doorstep and peeks inside*

:shock:

"oh excuse me sir I've got to go see if that dog would like to order something"
*strolls over to the door and opens it up*
"Hello would you like to oredr something?"

well, usually i just beg... either that or look cute til someone feeds me.

*slinks in between Twy's legs*

it's certainly... different here. :?

*runs in and declares*

Hmmmmm...

*runs out*

*screams behind him*

Sup everybody i know!

((is at a comp store IRL))

*Sinks into chair, ashamed that a dog got asked to order before him*

*Falls into a deep thought about how to wage war against the dog*

*shrugs*
"Well I'm sure someone all end up feeding the dog..."
*wonders over to the daily star reader again*
"Would you like to order?"

*senses no bacon is forthcoming*

*trots out*

:x

*Looks up*

"Erm, yes. OK. Can I have a cola ice cream soda, with extra cola, cream, and soda, three cheese straws with extra cheese, and a sticky ice bun with extra sticky"

"Please"

*Returns to Jodie Marsh's breasts*

*totters off*
"come again mr dog when there are more people you'll proberbly have better luck, the trout defenetly doesn't look like a bacon eater..."
*gets the daily star mans order and takes it to him*
"heres your order sir"
*goes back to counter*
The trout once again sits on the counter
*trout blinks*
"Another coffee please good sir" again the trouts pronounciation is excellent. "And emmm a slice of one of those tasty apple pies please"
*nods*
*gives the order to the trout who promptly relocates to his table*
*gets back to writing his adventure*

*walks in*
Hot chocolate, please.

*holding back on the bouncing with joy at so many customers*
"One hot chocolate coming right up!"
*potters with loud machinery* whooooooooooshhhhhhhhhh *comes back with large mug of hot chocolate*
"Here you go"

*Sips at cola ice cream soda*

'mmmmmmmm, good ice cream soda' he thinks to himself

*Takes ridiculously large bite of sticky ice bun. Munches on its sticky goodness slowly, enjoying every second of the bun rolling around inside his mouth. Takes one final bite before he swallows and CRUNCH!*

*He screams aloud in agony and spits out the cream bum along with a blood covered tooth as unusually large amounts of blood begin pooring from his mouth as he moans in pain"

*He looks down at whats left of the bun and sees what appears to be a 'Robin the Hood' Lego Man, finely clothed and authentic lego clothing with a little green hat and bow and arrow*

"What the hell is this!?!?!?!?" he screams

*wonders whats going on in Athenzos's head at the moment*

*the trout chuckles*

*glares in the direction of the scream*
"Oh my whats goin..." *sees the little lego man*
"Oh MY GOD! YOU BIT AN AUTHENTIC LEGO MAN ARE YOU MAD?!?!?!"
*rushes over*
"You could have broke it! Are you even human! Tshhhh..." *hold out hand determinedly*
"I don't know how that got there but you best either give it to me or take good care of it! on other matters your free to have something else tasty and lego man free"

*holding back on the bouncing with joy at so many customers*
"One hot chocolate coming right up!"
*potters with loud machinery* whooooooooooshhhhhhhhhh *comes back with large mug of hot chocolate*
"Here you go"
Thanks!
*sips*
Do you need a sandwich supplier?

*holding back on the bouncing with joy at so many customers*
"One hot chocolate coming right up!"
*potters with loud machinery* whooooooooooshhhhhhhhhh *comes back with large mug of hot chocolate*
"Here you go"
Thanks!
*sips*
Do you need a sandwich supplier?

"Yes indeed I do! I'm not very good and people always complain that the little triangle boxes don't have nice labels on them!"

"Boh.....I.....What the hell........I......guess I didnt....erm.......well.......sorry"

*Picks up Lego man and tooth from floor and returns to his table, mopping up the blood with his napkin*

*Looks at Lego man*

*Blinks*

*Lego man blinks back*

*Feels this is going to be a rather perculiar day*

Ah! Sandwiches are, you might say, my specialty....

"Boh.....I.....What the hell........I......guess I didnt....erm.......well.......sorry"

*Picks up Lego man and tooth from floor and returns to his table, mopping up the blood with his napkin*

*Looks at Lego man*

*Blinks*

*Lego man blinks back*

*Feels this is going to be a rather perculiar day*

*stares a moment then shrugs*

*raises hand and bounces up and down in seat*

"Ooh!! could I please have a sandwich?"

themnax looks up

it's been a long bleary night
if he never sees another chunk of pavement it won't be too soon.

aaa there's alwas one isn't there?

it was so mellow and peaceful
most of the other customers don't appear to have noticed
perhaps whatever the drama it will quiet back down

soon he hopes

the nevada desert at night is a strainge place
i've driven the roads out there

there's a fairly major town
well major of central nevada anyway
one night i drove accross the state on a major road that goes right through that major town

in the day time it's always there
and you can't miss it
but at night in nevada
out accross the carson sink
it the real twilight zone

the sign said i was about 30 miles from that town
should have been able to see the lights of it from there
even at two in the morning
next sign i saw said it was 80 miles behind me
never saw hide nor hare of the place

i swear to whatever gods you care to name this is the absolute truith

now i'm a lover of mystery and the exotic
not the pseudomysticism of fanatical ludites but the real deal

the unknow is my closest friend and dearest companion

so i made that run again
looking for a sign
a chainge
anything

all night cafe the sign said
the map said it shouldn't have been there
but already i was suspecting
i was no longer on the same map

so i pulled in and went inside to get a cup of joe and and a couple of scramles, or maybe a sinkier if they didn't have anything hot.

to my great suprise and delight the decore was underground 70s
all mixed up with down home simplified.

i didn't think you could get kvmr on the radio way out here
but there was bill emerson's transit lounge playing low in the background

looking back maybe it should have been the theme from twilight zone instead

so i let myself in real quiet like and set myself down in a corner booth

set back and waited
looked at the menue that was stacked behind the napkin dispenser and the sugar shaker
(which i noticed was filled with chocklet, this was looking more and more like my kind of place)

like i said if i never see another chunk of pavement it won't be too soon

i was so out of it i never should have been driving at all

well i wasn't now
even if the seat felt like i was still moving

couldn't see much outside the window, but it looked like there wasn't any road out there

couldn't see my rig or anyone else's

just what looked like a waiting shelter and little train tracks

i couldn't be sure though
what with it being dark and my eyes being blurry and all

hoping there would be some kind of a flop where i could spend the night, so i wouldn't have to sleep all cramped up and freezing in my little old 73 datsun pickup

=^^=
.../\...

Ah! Sandwiches are, you might say, my specialty....
*wide grin*
"Excellent discuss prices and such with my magic orb of financial organisation over there!"

*raises hand and bounces up and down in seat*

"Ooh!! could I please have a sandwich?"

"Well at the moment I only have the sandwiches I put together but of course! What would you like?"

Ah! Sandwiches are, you might say, my specialty....
*wide grin*
"Excellent discuss prices and such with my magic orb of financial organisation over there!"
*goes over to the magic orb*
So... how much would you be willing to pay me?

*reads Carlemnaria post on the wall*
"Thats quiet excellent"
*grabs his copy of "Big Eyes, little mouths" again and continues jotting down arcane stats and figures*

"Nah, It's OK. I'm supposed to be working here anyway, so I can make it myself."

"Um, where's the kichen?"

*overly confident smile*

Ah! Sandwiches are, you might say, my specialty....
*wide grin*
"Excellent discuss prices and such with my magic orb of financial organisation over there!"
*goes over to the magic orb*
So... how much would you be willing to pay me?

The orb fuzzes a moment and a figure appears on the screen
"£1.00 a sandwich" it mumours "for premade of course",
"if you want an hourly rate " a figure appears on the screen which seems quite reasonable "How about this?"

*As the blood begins to stop pooring from his mouth, and its clear he is going to get no sympathy from any of the customers, especially that strange looking trout, he refrains from making anymore of a scene and returns to his ice cream soda.

He begins to feel a little dizzy and slowly realises just how much blood he lost through loosing his tooth. Suddenly he notices that his Robin Hood Lego man has somehow aquired a horse of great posture and strength, and that he is now carrying a sword, as well as his bow and arrow.

He looks around the shop slowly with one brow raised and with grave suspicion at the other customers*

"Nah, It's OK. I'm supposed to be working here anyway, so I can make it myself."

"Um, where's the kichen?"

*overly confident smile* :| Patience... I can make you one as soon as the terms are agreed upon.

"Nah, It's OK. I'm supposed to be working here anyway, so I can make it myself."

"Um, where's the kichen?"

*overly confident smile*
"It's just over there, don't let the small door fool you it's really (or ab-really) huge in there! hmmm an other thought do you have any Medical skills I think our freind over their isn;t feeling to hot?"

The orb fuzzes a moment and a figure appears on the screen
"£1.00 a sandwich" it mumours "for premade of course",
"if you want an hourly rate " a figure appears on the screen which seems quite reasonable "How about this?"
Deal. My hours are variable, so I'll go with the per-sandwich rate. When I'm not going to be here, I'll send you a decent variety of choices.

"It's just over there, don't let the small door fool you it's really (or ab-really) huge in there! hmmm an other thought do you have any Medical skills I think our freind over their isn;t feeling to hot?"

"Thanks! and no I don't have any medical skills, but do you want me to call 911 in the kitchen?"

The orb fuzzes a moment and a figure appears on the screen
"£1.00 a sandwich" it mumours "for premade of course",
"if you want an hourly rate " a figure appears on the screen which seems quite reasonable "How about this?"
Deal. My hours are variable, so I'll go with the per-sandwich rate. When I'm not going to be here, I'll send you a decent variety of choices.
*Grins*
"Excellent..." *looks at the bleeding dude, notices the trout back on the counter*
"Hello again"
*trout blinks*
"More coffee please good sir and could you grab me a copy of Big fish eats man please! oh and one of those tasty sandwiches please!" the fishes accent still perfect...

< < double post > >

< < Double post > >

"It's just over there, don't let the small door fool you it's really (or ab-really) huge in there! hmmm an other thought do you have any Medical skills I think our freind over their isn;t feeling to hot?"

"Thanks! and no I don't have any medical skills, but do you want me to call 911 in the kitchen?"
"Nah don't bother Izumi, they can't get here on purpose anyway"
*grabs a big ball of cotton wall and walks over to the daily star reader*
"open wide"

*Beginning to sweat a little now as the cool replenishment of the ice cream soda vanishes up the straw. He feels even more dizzy and light headed. He looks up around the room and catches the trout gazing at him, opening his and closing his mouth as fish do...........just gazing.

He is convinced the trout is mocking him.

He returns his attention to his newspaper and an article about Kerry McFaden and a rather large asparagus grabs his attention. Whilst reading with great interest he is disturbed by a small trumpet noise comming from near the pepper pot on the table. He looks down and to his amazement finds Robin Hood on his horse being chased round and round the salt and pepper by the Sheriff of Nottingham and Guy of Gisborne Lego men.

He looks back at the trout and the trout smiles.......

He begins to feel a little uncomfortable*

"Hank U"

*He says with a mouth full of cotton wool*

"I m theein e ittle wuff, be etter sthoon"

*the trout is chuckeling whilst reading big fish eats man*

"Your welcome, and Sherif no chasing Robin hood in here it's a violence free zone, If you don't start acting your age I'll put you in the microwave!"
*sheriff stops chasing and raises his middle digit.*
*grumbles*
*walks back to counter*

-time passes-
faceless grey people come and go ordering all range of goodies, the trout orders several more drinks and sandwiches whilst reading an array of shark orientated litrature

*Pulls the soaked cotton wool from his mouth and places it on the table, still feeling a little groggy. Turns to the Sheriff and sees he now has small army of lego men under his rule.*

He hears a barrage of trumpets sound as the 20 strong army turn and face him. One of the men fire a tiny plastic arrow in his direction and as it slowly falls to the table with no force what so ever he screams histerically at the lego men and violently swipes his Daily Star across the table sending the small army flying around the coffee shop. *

"I KILL YOU! I KILL YOU ALL!!!!" Shouts the man as the Sheriff goes flying into the nearby fish tank.

The trout simply raises a brow, and shakes his head.

*blinks*
"Not much you can say to that... wonder if..."
*Trout eats the sheriff*

"Thats gonna hurt the old bowl movements mister Trout!"

"No it wont..." the trout grins and lols around his fish tank...

The door to the shop opens, a man in a white shirt beaing a blue "42" on the front.

"Restaurant at the End of the Universe?" He asks.

A few, quiet, headshakes answers his query.

"Damn. Back to the ship, Zaphod... Marvin you too..."

"MArvins in the parking lot sir"

< < Double post > >

*Now running around manically trying to destroy the rest of the Lego man army that scattered sparadically around the coffee shop.

Waving Daily Star around frantically, knocking over chairs, distrupting others and generally be a madman*

"I KILL YOU ALL, YOU SCUM"

*Now running around manically trying to destroy the rest of the Lego man army that scattered sparadically around the coffee shop.

Waving Daily Star around frantically, knocking over chairs, distrupting others and generally be a madman*

"I KILL YOU ALL, YOU SCUM"
*walks up to the madman and jacks a needle full of dopemine's into his neck*
"Good night Mr, this is a coffee shop and i'd prefer it if you didn't kill paying customers!*

*yawns*
And another day begins...
*The trout appears on the counter*
*blinks*
"Okay I have to ask what are you?"
"I am bob... A higher being" The trout responds with perfect pronounciation once more...
*thinks*
"Fair enough, what will you be having today?"
"The usual"
*Stairs across at the madman who appears to be coming round now*
"Another day another dollar" I mumble

*A businessman walks in*

My good sir, a latte. And make it quick.

*A businessman walks in*

My good sir, a latte. And make it quick.
"Not a problem, Here you go sir" *places latte down on the counter*
"What brings you out to the singularity stretch?"

*limps in*

Hola!

*limps in*

Hola!
"Howdy, What'll it be?"

Me, myself, and I will have coke.

*trots in*

You still not got that foot fixed yet?

*stretches out by the fire*

:shock:

What if Pet catches me here?

*runs*

Me, myself, and I will have coke.
*potters around loud wooshing noise comes from the coke tp*
"Here you go"
"Whats with the limp?"

he tried to kick a concrete football.

*trots in*

You still not got that foot fixed yet?

*stretches out by the fire*

:shock:

What if Pet catches me here?

*runs*

*sound sizzling bacon and the sweet sent of crispy bacon sarnies*
Food is working
he tried to kick a concrete football.

*raises eyebrow*
not wise...
I'm still hunting for the fabled concrete cow!

:shock:

Bacon!

*sits hopefully at Twy's feet*

*shakes head*
*finishes making a sarnie for a miscellanious grey customer*
"stop looking so needy"
*drops a rasher of bacon on a plate and puts it on the ground*
enjoy

*enjoys* 8)

:) "Good to see a satisfied customer... even if he isn't paying!"
*drinks coffee*
Did anyone see "If; the lights go out" (only relevant in the uk)

*Wakes up to find himself on the floor, foaming at the mouth and a killer headache*
*Rememebers the Lego Man incident*
*Remembers the talking fish*
*Sees that evil dog across the shop chomping on some bacon*
*Begins to think there was something strange in the cola ice cream soda........*

*Wakes up to find himself on the floor, foaming at the mouth and a killer headache*
*Rememebers the Lego Man incident*
*Remembers the talking fish*
*Sees that evil dog across the shop chomping on some bacon*
*Begins to think there was something strange in the cola ice cream soda........*
*The trout is still stearing at the mad man with one black beady eye*

*i walk over*
"What would you like sir?"

"Athenzos, are you OK?"

"Does anybody need anything?"

*bumpy*

One wonders why if this cafe exists at everypoint in space and time why one has to wait so long for one's soup!

"Please forgive me, sir."

*hands Hatcham his soup*

*walks in casually*

Hello! Can I have a job application? Just call me Carly.
I was wondering if I could be a waitress or cashier or something. I really would like to. Sorry, I'm kind of nervous... :roll:

*slurrrrrps on his soup whilst waiting for the 'missus' to get home.

"Would you like anything else?"

*Gets drawn in..*

Nice little place once you get inside, Can I have a coffee please? Black

Of course
*prepares coffee*
*The trout reappears on the counter beady eyes staring accusingly*
"Could I please have more coffee!" it asks
*blinks* "Fair enough, wait your turn though..."
*Puts Ur6's drink on the counter*

*Yawns*
Was at a training day yesterday so was unable to tend the tables! But my new employee seems to have done a grand job :)

Ahh thats good coffee!

It should be the people who harvested it were actually paid in real money!!! As were the people who harvested the chocolate and anything else we were required to import from the third worlds! (All fair trade here :))

I can taste the happiness!

It should be the people who harvested it were actually paid in real money!!! As were the people who harvested the chocolate and anything else we were required to import from the third worlds! (All fair trade here :))

*spits the latte out*

What? Heresy!

A high-pitched whirling noise is heard outside the walls of the bar, followed by a thundering crash. Silence afterwards permeates the "parking lot." Soo, the silence quietly becomes a scream that progressively gets louder until a thud is heard at the entrance.

A man in a ruffled suit enters. He wears a trick spray flower on his coat.

"Do you... have any donuts? I was going home and found out I had been elected president of some wierd, obscure nation."

weird, strange the way the world works!
Congratualtions on your new post though, chocolate? sugar frosted? jam? we have donoughts lots of donoughts...

*jumps up with his usual mischievous face*

Give me donuts. And alot of 'em.

"Here's your order!"

*hands Langham a sampler platter of assorted donuts*

*yawns* slow slow slow servers - they need a good load balancer
*drinks coffee* *grimaces* too strong *sigh*
*reads Neuromance*

"Here, maybe this will be better Twy!"

*hands Twy some fresh coffee*

*yawwwn* "It's been really slow around here..."

*Would anyone like to order anything?"

Cheers,
I think the combination of activity in the conventonal threads and horrendous slowness on the servers makes people lazy... I know it does me...

Oh I had this reaccuring conspiracy Theory that I find quite entertaining, (not at all from a serious perspective but curious none the less)
Osama Bin Laden has always been a bit of an oil man... Bush is also an oil man, and Bushes lackeys are oil or industrial kids... Now what if Osama is working with Bush and chums in order to secure greater oil reserves? Wouldn't that be a grand evil scheme? On top of that the whole thing is set up to make economic opponents of the states weaker!!!

(this is in line with my "How to run an evil dictatorship" theory which is create a rebel movement with your top intelligence people in charge of it rebel for a few years and then wipe the whole lot out, a few years later do it again, and repeat this until everyone is so scared to join these outfits nobody rebels anymore...)

So why did you want a job in a coffee shop anyhow?
*Serves a small wondering troop of cicus animals*

Cheers,
I think the combination of activity in the conventonal threads and horrendous slowness on the servers makes people lazy... I know it does me...

Oh I had this reaccuring conspiracy Theory that I find quite entertaining, (not at all from a serious perspective but curious none the less)
Osama Bin Laden has always been a bit of an oil man... Bush is also an oil man, and Bushes lackeys are oil or industrial kids... Now what if Osama is working with Bush and chums in order to secure greater oil reserves? Wouldn't that be a grand evil scheme? On top of that the whole thing is set up to make economic opponents of the states weaker!!!

(this is in line with my "How to run an evil dictatorship" theory which is create a rebel movement with your top intelligence people in charge of it rebel for a few years and then wipe the whole lot out, a few years later do it again, and repeat this until everyone is so scared to join these outfits nobody rebels anymore...)

So why did you want a job in a coffee shop anyhow?
*Serves a small wondering troop of cicus animals*

"Hmm...I guess I wanted the job because I'd never really done any RP before and I just wanted something new to do!"

*nods*
Well things seem to be working a bit better now,
*sips coffee*
Iki and Pets coffee shop hold a monopoly in the area *shrugs*
*serves another anonymous person*
rping is fun and quite easy really... I ref a real pen and paper group tis loads of fun been playing since I was mmmmm 11? tis all my big brothers fault!
*posts a few points of views in other threads*
Your doing a grand job though :c)
*looks at the tight rope walker who has started to climb the walls... creases brow*
Online I've always found it difficult to keep things going... and keep people engaged... it's more difficult to ref here...

"I know, Iki and Pets are really popular right now...they have over 1,000 posts and we barley have 100. I've tried to start a few forums of my own, but they usually don't last more than 2 days."

*sigh* Alas, tis the fate of an unknown Nationstater with no friends...

*walks in*

Hola!

Howdy Langham nice to see a freindly face, what'll it be?
Didn't you have a limp last time you were here?

Yeah, my foot, which was busted up and stuff and is now a little better, so I'm-a walkin'. I'll take my usual morning coke.

tripple post

treble post

good to hear, my knees are playing me up this afternoon must be all this pretend walking about!
one coke coming right up!
Fizzy drinks in the morning nothing quite like it to make the lives of those around you miserable at work!
Like a fried egg sandwich? to really get on their good side?
*pours black treakle into the servers power pack*

*gets a coffee and sits behind the counter pondering why that Fish is back*
Another day another penny, bahh work is sooooo dull

*walks in*
Hot chocolate, please. Do you mind if I put a sign up?

Go ahead always happy to help,
*Passess the Demonic Gopher a hot chocholate*

*stares at the terminal*
*Growls*
BUT THAT USER IS GOD! HE CANNOT BE DENIED!!! DARN IT WHO THE HELL CAN EDIT THE POLICY SETTINGS GRRRRRRRRRRR
*Slams Lotus notes across the building*
*curses*

*serves some other customers*

"Now, now Twy; try and calm down.."

"I am completly calm, it's this insane software it gloats at me with it's foolish "This user is not allowed to do that" type messages! It must be killed and it must be killed now!"
"Along with it's does not exist in view messages!"
*grumble*
*drinks more coffee*
*yawns*
"Why can't there be more hours in the night to sleep..."
*Serves a small Gnome*

*notices the coffee shop for the first time*
*thinks about it for a moment, then goes in*

hullo. can i have a cup of cappucino? :D

double post

"Here you go!"

*hands Yourhighness there cappichino*

"Just tell me if you need anything else."

*arrives looking pissed off*

Can I get a coffee please?

"Welcome to our humble store" a voice echos from the depths of a row of bookshelves as I Use the shattered remains of a monitor as a putting range.
"muttermutter computers muttermutter no access muttermutter admin account"
*requires chocolate biscuits observes coffee settles for coffee*

thanks

*pays for it*
*goes to sit down in a less crowded area*

*happily sips her drink* :P

<Double post>
*jumps up and down on itty bitty server pieces*
</Double Post>

*looks a bit stunned*
Course Petworthia, What brings you out here?
*makes coffee and hands it over*
Excuse me a moment
*grabs hammer, strolls to the forum server and "has a word"*

Hay Izumi whats your GMT+-?
*yawns, pokes the remains of a server with a stick*
I think I killed it...

*yawns*
Hmmmm thursday did any one watch if
*drinks coffee*
*reads linux programming 3rd edition*

Go ahead always happy to help,
*Passess the Demonic Gopher a hot chocholate*
Thanks, and thanks!
*sips hot chocolate*
Mmm....
*puts up sign*
Join the Rodent Alliance!
((Sorry about the delayed response...))

No worries, time makes sense to being...
enjoy the chocolate, *yawns*
Why so many hours in the day but so few at night? *yawns again*
*gets more coffee*

"My GMT is waaay of. It's usually a hour ahead of the real time,"

"By the way, I live in NY"

*serves a family of penguins*

*thinks* -4? or something like that *yawns*
I think I'm going to sleep all weekend, I'm sure that cat was ate the trout... not a great loss I suppose.
*pours another coffee, serves a Woman in black and sits back down to his book."

"Awww, poor trout..."

...

"Would anyone like to order anything else?"

*bumpy*

*walks in*

Hola!

i refuse to believe. yep. hey lang.

Hola, Kisar! Believe what?

i dunno. believe anything.


im on the internet for tonight woohoo!

Yay!

*throws confetti around Kisar*

*wanders in.. looking dazed & confused*
um, hi. Anyone serving? This is my first visit to a coffee shop EVER!
*sits & waits whilst hungrily eyeing some particularly sticky looking cakes*

Hola, Lucy! I don't see anyone serving around so...

*jumps over the counter and gives her some cake she's eyeing*

*throws a bottle of whisky at Lucy*

have fun and stay away from those cakes!! they are poison! im saving them for jet.

hey lang, i seriously wish i had about 10 beers and twins with me right now...

You poisoned them or something?

ta for the whiskey, although its a bit early in the...oh what the hell
*takes a huge swig*
wow! This coffee shop is sooo cool.
Whats in the ckaes for Jet then? Where I come from 'special cakes' are ALL good
*sits back in comfy armchair swigging whiskey*

no, petworthia probably did. sorry, i think you have around- well, 20 seconds now...

wait, 10...
9...
8...
etc... :wink:

ashually I feel quite appy now! mmmm more cake??
*wonders if theres a fight somewhere she is missing - jet & pet?*
More whishkey bar-keepy my good man.
*overwhelmed with feelings of lurve*

*gives her more whiskey*

um, thanks.
*hopes theres a convienient toilet around*
I don't ushually drink at 3.30 in the afternoon, but itsh the weekend. Whats the gossip then waiter-type-pershon? I had the week off & couldn't get on NS at all.
*looks sadly at the bottom of her whiskey glass*

Not a whole hell of alot going on.

*gets us & staggers out of the door*
i gotta go, not feeling too well now. Prob need coffee.
*falls over in gutter*

Okay! Adios!

"Would you people like to order anything?"

*picks self up from gutter*

blimey, I've been here all night!

Coffee needed here!

wow I go away get some sleep (like the whole weekend), one person unconcious in a gutter and actuall people... I may start to think people stay away becouse they see me sowling over my book! *shrugs*

*yawns* *stretches*
Sadly I don't work weekends, *shrugs*
however I could advise not sleeping in the gutter as it's just a little bit dirty...
*yawns again*
*passess coffee back a day and makes a bacon sandwich*


*installs an instant coffee machine for when he's not here*

"I'm here some times on the weekends"

*serves a small purple man witha large nose*

"Would anyone like to actually order anything?"

people will always appear when your looking the other way, thats just the way of things.
*yawns*
*reads a copy of things to do when your really bored*

Hola.

Hola.

Hola.
And howdy again :c)

Good morning. I was looking for a decent cup of coffee. Got one?
*looks around*
Nice place...

Good morning. I was looking for a decent cup of coffee. Got one?
*looks around*
Nice place...

howdy, *serves a coffee*
it's not to shaby shame about the time dillation (servers) though

Thanks for the java. *sniffs the steam* Ah, mountain grown for richer flavor...

Thanks for the java. *sniffs the steam* Ah, mountain grown for richer flavor...
indeed!
*yawns* home time soon, woohooo
*drinks more coffee*
Havn't seen you round these parts before sir, where ya from?

You used to be able to find me over at the FF4 bookstore. Great coffee there. Brewed it myself, so I should know. But I haven't been around there much of late. So, I thought I'd pop in and sample your wares.

You used to be able to find me over at the FF4 bookstore. Great coffee there. Brewed it myself, so I should know. But I haven't been around there much of late. So, I thought I'd pop in and sample your wares.
*tiredly rubs eyes*
most excellent, sadly due to server lag after 12gmt and work my replies get thinner after then *yawns*
I hope you enjoyed the coffee I recently installed a coffee making monkey in a cabinet making coffee for when I or Izumi is not here... *yawns* for a mystical monkey he's quite well behaved

"Does the monkey require feeding?, because that could one of my jobs if you wanted." *smiles*

*sips water and readds a copy of The New Yorker*

"Does the monkey require feeding?, because that could one of my jobs if you wanted." *smiles*

*sips water and readds a copy of The New Yorker*
yeah they may get a bit annoyed if they don't get fed...
*stretches*

Morning Twy,
I'll need to have another cup or two to get through this day. Release the monkey!

Morning Twy,
I'll need to have another cup or two to get through this day. Release the monkey!
*monkey looks at Vex with an annoyed look and shows his diploma*
"Do ya know how much I have to pay back to these guys!!! nobody wants to hire me at least these guys pay me a reasonable amount and Izumi gives me free meals! (says the monkey)"

The monkeys a fully plaid member of staff, apparently he works down at the docks packing fish all day...
*serves a coffee*
Great worker though and makes a killer coffee don't ya chummer?

*gives the monkey a cookie*

"Do you have a name little monkey?"

*teleports in*

Sorry about that sudden entrance, it is rude, I know. I just had some Cave-Dwelling Grungaritys chasing me around inside a nebula, you see. Can I have a few shots of tequila to calm my nerves?

"Here's your order!!"

*hands HotRodia a shot*

"just let me know if you need anything else!!"

*smiles*

Thanks. :) *teleports out*

"Bye, come again!!"

*serves another customer*

"Would anyone else like to order anything?"

*feeds the coffee monkey*

"Are you sure you don't have a name, monkey?"

*feeds the coffee monkey*

"Are you sure you don't have a name, monkey?"
"albert" the monkey replies

*twy sits stroles in and sits at his desk and reads "The pointlessness of human conciousness*
Hi Izamu

"Good morning Twy."

*yawwwn*

"I wish some more people would stop by..."

*rest chin on hands*
You could go and help out at pet and iki's if you wanted, their always busy!

"No, I would never betray our little coffe shop!!"

"Someday we will as well known as Pet and Iki's....I hope."

"No, I would never betray our little coffe shop!!"

"Someday we will as well known as Pet and Iki's....I hope."
*smiles*
You've got spirit kid
But you gotta get known across the board to get famous like them two.

"Well, that'll never happen"

*serves a small army of Ken dolls*

"Anybody need anything?"

*walks in*

Hola!

"Hi!!"

*smiles*

"Would you like to order anything?"

*hops over to the bar*

I'll have a coke.

"Here you go!"

*hands Langham there Coke*

"Just tell me if you need anything else, OK?"

Would anybody like to order anything?"

*enters*
May I speak with the owner, please?

*stumbles in*

If I could get a quality cappuccino, I'd be forever in your debt.

"Here's your cappuccino! Just let me know if you need anything else."


"By the way Uniformed Officials. If you'd like to talk to the owner please contact Twy-Sunrats. He's the owner and founder of this coffee shop."

*sits down*
*yawns*
*watches the street*

"ARRGH, there hasn't been a customer for four entire days."

*yawwwwn*

"Pwease, pwease somebody come soon..."

dp

tp

qp

"ARRGH, there hasn't been a customer for four entire days."

*yawwwwn*

"Pwease, pwease somebody come soon..."
awwwwwwwwwww how can anyone resist!!!
*drinks more coffee*

"ARRGH, there hasn't been a customer for four entire days."

*yawwwwn*

"Pwease, pwease somebody come soon..."
awwwwwwwwwww how can anyone resist!!!
*drinks more coffee*

"Don't worry about posting the same thing five times. Besides, it's only me and you here. Once I posted a forum topic like eight times." :D

*man rushes in wearing long,brown, heavy leather coat and carrying a large spiked club dripping red stuff*

hello, *pants* anyone seen any penguins come this way?

*Parks his Porsche and walks in wearing a black suit.*

Hey i haven't hung here much. Can I get a frozen mocha please?

"Umm...yeah, I think I saw a penguin go that way."

*points*

"you're not gonna hurt them are you?!"

*eyes widen immensely*

"Here you go!"

*hands Cuneo thier mocha*

"Let me know if you need anything else."

umm...
*looks anxious*
er no ... possibly the other way round

*looks about warily then finally wanders over to bar, slouching and still panting a little*
nice place here

"Thanks!"

"Would you like to order anything? By the way, you didn't kill any of the penguins did you?"

something large, strong and highly caffiene enriched please
*looks suspiciously at the monkey*

er ... how do you mean kill,exactly?

*looks even more warily at the trout which appears to be chewing on a Lego character*

Um, should he be doing that? Those things are worth a lot you know theae days!

"It does that sometimes. Don't worry about it."

I see, seen stranger though.

*looks over shouulder*

so ... how about that peng... I mean cappucino?

I see, seen stranger though.

*looks over shouulder*

so ... how about that peng... I mean cappucino?

I see, seen stranger though.

*looks over shouulder*

so ... how about that peng... I mean cappucino?

I see, seen stranger though.

*looks over shouulder*

so ... how about that peng... I mean cappucino?

I see, seen stranger though.

*looks over shouulder*

so ... how about that peng... I mean cappucino?

"Here's your cappucino!!"

"Call me if you want to order something else."

*sits and holds his head in his hands*

I could use a black coffee, please...

*sits and holds his head in his hands*

I could use a black coffee, please...
*serves up a coffee*
whats with the head in hands bit chummer?

Thanks so much. *sips the hot coffee*

Just have a lot on my mind these days...you don't know of a priest, do you?

*raises an eyebrow*
What kind of priest you looking for chummer?
All kinds of priests in these parts...

All kinds of priests? *blinks* Really? I'm after the Roman Catholic variety myself.

All kinds of priests? *blinks* Really? I'm after the Roman Catholic variety myself.

Hmmmm well none visit here, all we get are preists of evil denomenations... they tend to come in for the chocolate fudge milkshakes...
But Catholic priests are a bit too hung up on the punishment thing so you can normally find them around the corner drinking cheap tea, I tell they could come in but they don't listen... This place tends to bring out the extremes of personallity... funny that really *drinks chocolate fudge milkshake*

*trots in*

*seeks cream cheese muffins*

*trots in*

*seeks cream cheese muffins*
*places cream cheese muffin on a plate and puts the plate on the floor*
afternoon Gaspode

I see. Sorry to have been a bother. *leaves the tab and a tip on the table* Have a good day...

I see. Sorry to have been a bother. *leaves the tab and a tip on the table* Have a good day...
No bother old chap, *sees a tip* your welcome back anytime! anytime at all!!!

*wakes up from where he has been slouched over the bar*

Hmm 15 hours for a cappucino - not bad by the standards on this server.

*sips, looking around*
* steals cream cheese muffin sitting on a plate on the floor while no-one appears to be looking*

Any sign of (mmph, hmmph) penguins yet?

*wakes up from where he has been slouched over the bar*

Hmm 15 hours for a cappucino - not bad by the standards on this server.

*sips, looking around*
* steals cream cheese muffin sitting on a plate on the floor while no-one appears to be looking*

Any sign of (mmph, hmmph) penguins yet?
You just missed some!

Whar? When?

*looks about nerevoulsy*

Did they see me? where did they go?

*wakes up from where he has been slouched over the bar*

Hmm 15 hours for a cappucino - not bad by the standards on this server.

*sips, looking around*
* steals cream cheese muffin sitting on a plate on the floor while no-one appears to be looking*

Any sign of (mmph, hmmph) penguins yet?

:evil: *steals the cream cheese muffins back*
*takes the cappucino too*
*stuffs face*

*wakes up from where he has been slouched over the bar*

Hmm 15 hours for a cappucino - not bad by the standards on this server.

*sips, looking around*
* steals cream cheese muffin sitting on a plate on the floor while no-one appears to be looking*

Any sign of (mmph, hmmph) penguins yet?

:evil: *steals the cream cheese muffins back*
*takes the cappucino too*
*stuffs face*


*leans over bar too see if penguins have stolen coffee and muffins*

anyone see where they went w my coffee?

*looks meaningfully at suddenly rather obese looking dog*

What breed are you and why are you wearing that eye-patch?

*wakes up from where he has been slouched over the bar*

Hmm 15 hours for a cappucino - not bad by the standards on this server.

*sips, looking around*
* steals cream cheese muffin sitting on a plate on the floor while no-one appears to be looking*

Any sign of (mmph, hmmph) penguins yet?

:evil: *steals the cream cheese muffins back*
*takes the cappucino too*
*stuffs face*


*leans over bar too see if penguins have stolen coffee and muffins*

anyone see where they went w my coffee?

*looks meaningfully at suddenly rather obese looking dog*

What breed are you and why are you wearing that eye-patch?

*wakes up from where he has been slouched over the bar*

Hmm 15 hours for a cappucino - not bad by the standards on this server.

*sips, looking around*
* steals cream cheese muffin sitting on a plate on the floor while no-one appears to be looking*

Any sign of (mmph, hmmph) penguins yet?

:evil: *steals the cream cheese muffins back*
*takes the cappucino too*
*stuffs face*


*leans over bar too see if penguins have stolen coffee and muffins*

anyone see where they went w my coffee?

*looks meaningfully at suddenly rather obese looking dog*

What breed are you and why are you wearing that eye-patch?
*chuckles*
*passess a replacement cappucino*

Hey what's happened to page 12?

Oh there it is.

now what about those penguins - which way did they go? Anyone see?

Hey what's happened to page 12?
the server gets confused sometimes and forgets how to count *shrugs*

Oh there it is.

now what about those penguins - which way did they go? Anyone see?
hmmmm
I think they went down into the basement... but I'm not sure... they said there was snow that way! you could always investigate...

Hey what's happened to page 12?
the server gets confused sometimes and forgets how to count *shrugs*

[It seems to forget how to do a lot of things]

cheers for the coffee!

*stares down at small fat dog licking red stuff dripping from club*

Hey. shoo little fat doggie.
thinks "surely that should have dried by now"

Oh there it is.

now what about those penguins - which way did they go? Anyone see?
hmmmm
I think they went down into the basement... but I'm not sure... they said there was snow that way! you could always investigate...

Thanks *drains cup* show me the way!

*looks down at dog* wanna come? I maybe could use a wee ankle-biter such as yrself.

Oh there it is.

now what about those penguins - which way did they go? Anyone see?
hmmmm
I think they went down into the basement... but I'm not sure... they said there was snow that way! you could always investigate...

Thanks *drains cup* show me the way!

*looks down at dog* wanna come? I maybe could use a wee ankle-biter such as yrself.
*chuckles*
It's right that way chummer,
*plonks a torch on the counter*
You may need this....

*stares at the fat dog*

You don't want that thing. You'd be better off taking me.

And what IS that on its face??

*stares at the fat dog*

You don't want that thing. You'd be better off taking me.

And what IS that on its face??

OK, after them after them!

*drags Gaspode away from the mirror and heads off to basement*

*calls back* thanks for the torch! *looks down* here boy!

*gets stuck in the trapdoor leading to the basement*

:(

*gets stuck in the trapdoor leading to the basement*

:(

*covers gaspode in hog fat*
*chuckles*
that'll help
*mutters*
this'll be good...

*gets stuck in the trapdoor leading to the basement*

:(

*covers gaspode in hog fat*
*chuckles*
that'll help
*mutters*
this'll be good...

*gives Gaspode a light whack woth the spiked club which propells him through the trapdoor to land in the basement with a splash*

*calls* Are u ok down there?

*gets stuck in the trapdoor leading to the basement*

:(

*covers gaspode in hog fat*
*chuckles*
that'll help
*mutters*
this'll be good...

*gives Gaspode a light whack woth the spiked club which propells him through the trapdoor to land in the basement with a splash*

*calls* Are u ok down there?
that wasn't very nice!
*shrugs*
*drinks coffee*
*off now... *

*looks around the shop cautiously, wondering what's going on*

Hmm, anyone home (that's not currently being beaten up)?

*Sits in damp cellar w damp fat dog looking for penguins in the dark*

anyone here?

hello?
Is anyone up there? I've been stuck down here for hours - the damn server won't let me out!

hello?
Is anyone up there? I've been stuck down here for hours - the damn server won't let me out!

hello?
Is anyone up there? I've been stuck down here for hours - the damn server won't let me out!

helloooo?

*opens the little mouse-door in the cellar and pokes head out*

Yes? :?:

can somebody get me out of here?

*opens the cellar door*
*pokes head through the door*
You found them penguins yet?

*stalks in dressed in her usual attire*
Good afternoon... I see we're taking business from my sister and her cronies eh!? *laughs evilly* I'll drink to that! *brings out a large bottle of black labelled vodka and takes a huge slug*

:shock: :evil: :evil:
They've reset my post count! Oh well... it's not like I posted much anyway. *shrugs and takes another drink*

*spits out a mouthful of hog-fat*

Pah!

There were no penguins! This one is mad, he's a nutter, i tell you!

HELP ME! GET ME OUT OF HERE!

*struggles to escape through the mousehole*

You must have been down there a while, mate! you're nothing but skin and bone!

*pulls Gaspode through the mousehole and out into the free, free air*

:twisted:
:P