NationStates Jolt Archive

I have sooo many favorite quotes...

here are just a couple off the top of my head:

"You'd be surprised how little I knew even up to yesterday." - Jack Kerouac

"Love is just an excuse to get hurt" - Bright Eyes line

Pain and suffering is just weakness leaving the body

My favorite quote is by Arabic poet Kahlil Gibran...

"Yesterday we obeyed kings and bent our necks before emperors. But today we kneel only to truth, follow only beauty, and obey only love."
- Kahlil Gibran

'And, if you should kill anyone, remember to eat their hearts, to gain their courage. Their rich tasty courage.' Licks lips in anticiption of heart-food

- Professor Farnsworth from Futurama


'Now, m'dear, theres nothing to be afeard of....BAKAWWW...sorry m'dear, i thought you was corn.'

- Bird-Lawyer from Futurama

"Why do you want a monkey anyway?"
"Duh, to teach it to smoke!"

The Clerks cartoon.

'Stand up men, they could'nt hit an Elephant from this dist--------'

-Some American Civil War General

"Some call me..... Tim.." -Tim the Enchanter

"Help, help, I'm being opressed!" -Peasant I can't remember the name of

"Some call me..... Tim.." -Tim the Enchanter

"Help, help, I'm being opressed!" -Peasant I can't remember the name of

it was in monty python and the holy grail

"Some call me..... Tim.." -Tim the Enchanter

"Help, help, I'm being opressed!" -Peasant I can't remember the name of

it was in monty python and the holy grail

I know, but I can't remember the name of the peasant who says it.

"Some call me..... Tim.." -Tim the Enchanter

"Help, help, I'm being opressed!" -Peasant I can't remember the name of

it was in monty python and the holy grail

I know, but I can't remember the name of the peasant who says it.

michael palin :lol:

Just about everything from any of the Fox Sci-Fi serriers (Alien Serries, Predator Serries, Terminator Serries)

"Peace cannot erupt from the barrel of a gun, nor can it be cut out by the blade of a sword, nor can it explode from a missile. It can only be wrought through perseverance, understanding, and compassion."

"It takes strength, courage, and discipline to fight an armed conflict, but it takes far more to maintain an unarmed peace."

By Eulalia 94825,
One of my first Nationstates Characters

"Some call me..... Tim.." -Tim the Enchanter

"Help, help, I'm being opressed!" -Peasant I can't remember the name of

the characters name was Dennis I believe

Excellent. I was waiting for this to get moved.

"AIDS is a disease. Pat Roberston is a plague from God."

"Imagine Escher drawing his own bath."

"Settlers of Catan... Everybody must get stone"

my pins.

"I shall continue to be an impossible person so long as those who are now possible remain possible."
- Bakunin

If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom and yet renounce controversy are people who want crops without ploughing the ground." Frederick Douglass

peasent:THERE IT IS! (in wispered voice)

King of the britians:where?

Pesent THERE!

Britian:what behind the rabbit?

peasent:it IS the rabbit!

Britian:YOU SILLY SOD! you got us all worked up!

peasent:that's no ordinary rabbit! that's the most foul Cruel roadant you'v ever set eyes on!

britian:no Kept! i soiled my armor i was so scared

Peasent:look that thing has teeth a mile wide it's a killer!

Britian:get stuffed!

Peasent:it'll do YOU a treat mate!

britian: oh yeah? make it so!

Peasent:he has Sharp Teeth, he can leap about....LOOK AT THE BONES!

Britian:guard go chop it's head off

Soldier:right! silly little bidder. 1 rabbit stew comming RIGHT UP!


ARRRRRRRG!


Britian:JESUS CHRIKE!

peasent:i warned you!

Britian:i did it again!

peasent:i warned you but did you listen to me OOOHHH NO! it's just a harmless little BUNNEY!well it's always the Same! nobody listens!

Britian:O SHUT UP! right men! CHARGE!

fighting agianst rabbit...men lossing...

Britian:RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!

Peasent starts to laugh

Since we're doing Monty Python:
"'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!"

"I don't have time to bleed."- Predator

"Boxing is a lot like ballet except replace the dancers with two large men and replace the dancing with the two beating the hell out of each other"-Can't remember

"If Bart can be called Barto, then I can be called Homo."- Simpsons

"No beer and no TV make Homer go something something."
"Go crazy?"
"Don't mind if I do!"-Simpsons

Death:"I need you to kill something that will make people know that the laws of death still imply."
Meg:"Every girl prettier than me?"
Death:"No that would just leave Britain, but good thinking."-Family Guy

Is god willing to prevent evil but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him god? - Epicurus (341-270 BCE)

"God is Dead."-Friedrich Nietzche.

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change." - Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/22/89


By Eulalia 94825,
One of my first Nationstates Characters
Eulalia.... Redwall....

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making the world believe that he didn't exist." - The Usual Suspects

"17 days? We wont survive 17 hours on this rock"
"Hudson, this little girl has survived longer than that with no military training at all."
"Then why dont you put her in charge?"

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making the world believe that he didn't exist." - The Usual Suspects
Oh man, the usual suspects, such a good movie...

"It's not whether you win or lose. It's how you place the blame"--some book full of quotes from the business world

"Quitting is just a shortcut to losing"--the back of a (I think Abercrombie) shirt, probably quoted from someone else

taken from the beatles a Hard Days Night...

"your a swine...isn't he gourge?ya a swine"

I like this one:

"Truth, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.
You believe what you choose, and I'll believe what I know."
- Kevin Spacey, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil

"im dying and it's pissing me off" - a movie

"I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them" - Jane Austen

"Our love is rice and beans and horses lard." - The Pixies

"One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain." - Bob Marley

Lady:"Oh my god!"
Guy:"Seesh it's not enough that I answer prayers, but now I have to pay attention to every single person out of the 6 billion people here!."-Don't know my dad's friend said it at his work.

"Winners never quit, and quiters never win, but those who dont win and dont quit are jsut stupid."

"I bent my wookie" -ralph wiggum
"Stupid sexy flanders" -h.s.
Monopoly's a game, I'm trying to take over the fucking world" - bill gates to his lawyer

"Uncommonly Smooth"--Red Dog label

"Evolution? A clever story, but it doesn't explain us now does it?" - Clan Book: Malkavian, Revised.

"I know, but I can't remember the name of the peasant who says it. "
"michael palin"
-The Volga replying to Ben Land

"Monty you terrible c*nt!"
-Withnail.

"Stop saying that Withnail, of course he's the fucking farmer!"
-Marwood.

"What were you in?"
"Tanks. Afrika Korps. A little before your time. Don't suppose you've engaged."
"Ireland."
"Ooh, crack at the Mick eh?"
-Withnail/Raymond

"We've been in here too long. I feel unusual. I think we should go outside."
-Withnail

"Look at him! Look at Jeff Woad!"
-Withnail.

"I mean to have you even if it must be burglary!"
-Uncle Monty.

"Indeed."
-Premier Igo of Beddgelert.

"Born, bought, discouraged"
-Lali Puna.

"Ba weep gra-na weep ninny bond?"
-Wreck-Gar.

"Hey! Look here, you're giving elephants a rather bad name! Elephants don't steal pianos!"
-Elephant.

"Cowboy Dan's a major player in the cowboy scene, (he) goes to to the reservation drinks and gets mean, goes to the desert fires his rifle in the sky and yells 'God, if I have to die you will have to die-ie-ie"
-Modest Mouse

"..
no, actually I'd better stop.

"Uncommonly Smooth"--Red Dog label

What is with the love of the Dog?

Haista la Vista..baby.

From Terminator 2

"Uncommonly Smooth"--Red Dog label

What is with the love of the Dog?

It's what I drink, and it doesn't get nearly the recognition it deserves.

Some Love Quotes:

"Love is blind, but friendship closes its eyes."
-unknown

"Love built on beauty, soon as beauty, dies."
-John Donne

"He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals."
-Benjamin Franklin

"I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love."
-Henry Ward Beecher

"True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen."
-La Rochefoucauld

"Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?"
-Christopher Marlowe

"Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."
-St. Augustine

Puns are bad. Poetry is verse.

this is for that guy who's posting Poems...

"Purple is the Violet

Red is the Rose


your still a big jerk

and your Poetry blows"

Mine are kinda long and come from a couple of books:

"'No, my friend. We are lunatics from the hospital up the highway, psycho-ceramics, the cracked pots of mankind. Would you like me to decipher a Rorschach for you? No? You must hurry on? Ah, he's gone. Pity.' He turned to McMurphy. 'never before did I realize that mental illness could have the aspect of power, power. Think of it: perhaps the more insane a man is, the more powerful he could become. Hitler an example. Fair makes the old brain reel, doesn't it? food for thought there.'" -- Harding from One Flew Over the Cookoo's Nest by Ken Kesey.

"Harding shook his head. 'I don't think I can give you an answer. Oh, I could give you Freudian reasons with fancy talk, and that would be right as far as it went. But what you want are the reasons for the reasons, and I'm not able to give you those. Not for the others, anyway. For myself? Guilt. Shame. Fear. Self-belittlement. I discovered at an early age that I was--shall we be kind and say different? It's a better, more general word than the other one. I indulged in certain practices that our society regards as shameful. And I got sick. It wasn't the practices, I don't think, it was the felling that the great, deadly, pointing forefinger of society was pointing at me--and the great voice of millions chanting, "Shame. Shame. Shame." It's society's way of dealing with someone different.'"
-- Harding from One Flew Over the Cookoo's Nest by Ken Kesey.

"'But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin.' 'In fact,' said Mustapha Mond, 'you're claiming the right to be unhappy.' 'All right then,' said the Savage defiantly, 'I'm claiming the right to be unhappy.' 'Not to mention the right to grow old and ugly and impotent; the right to have syphilis and cancer; the right to have too little to eat; the right to be lousy; the right to live in constant apprehension of what may happen tomorrow; the right to catch typhoid; the right to be tortured by unspeakable pains of every kind.' There was a long silence. 'I claim them all,' said the Savage at last." -- Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

"Oh sh*t we're all f*cked!"

- character in Stephen King's 'The Stand'

This isn't my favorite, but it amuses me.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
..... Go f*ck yourselves.

-Catch me if you can

I don't do Drugs
I just smoke weed
-Dave chappelle, Half Baked

Don't get me wrong y'all
I love weed,
But god do I love Women!
-Dave Chappelle, Half Baked

Do something tons of Fun!
-Jason Newes, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

The World is turning
and the chronic is burning
-Dr. dre

Some Love Quotes:

"Love is blind, but friendship closes its eyes."
-unknown

"Love built on beauty, soon as beauty, dies."
-John Donne

"He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals."
-Benjamin Franklin

"I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love."
-Henry Ward Beecher

"True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen."
-La Rochefoucauld

"Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?"
-Christopher Marlowe

"Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."
-St. Augustine

mh, don't recognise those tracks- I always prefered "oh the snot has caked against my pants, it has turned into crystal" or "the news of to-day will be the movies of to-morrow" but each to his own.

"Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."
-St. Augustine

I thought that was Tennyson :?

"Violence on television only affects children if their parents act like TV personalities." - the Talking Heads

"The System not only strangles talent but poisons the soul." - Joan Didion

"I don't see why people are so upset about cloning sheep. American television networks have been doing that to their audiences for years." - Jello Biafra

When everything is worth money, nothing is worth anything. - yours truly

Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper ~ Princess Leia, Star wars

"The way we'll know is, if they don't follow us it's too far to swim! HAHA!"
-Herger, The 13th Warrior

"My mother was a pure woman from a noble family, and I, at least, know who my father is.. you pig eating son of a whore."
-Ahmed Ibn Fadlan, The 13th Warrior

"Not only does the English Language borrow words from other languages, it sometimes chases them down dark alleys, hits them over the head, and goes through their pockets."
- Eddy Peters

"Robby is Canadian. You can tell by his youth."
-Oscar Wilde, Wilde

"The ships hung in the air in much the same way brick don't."
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Do not trifle with Dragons, as you are small, and crunchy, and taste good with ketchup.
-Unknown to me anyway... :roll:

"I have seen the truth and it makes no sense."
-'nuther Unknown

"I cant say that I've loved you all either - but I've loved as many of you as I could."
- Hawkeye Pierce, M*A*S*H

"Not only does the English Language borrow words from other languages, it sometimes chases them down dark alleys, hits them over the head, and goes through their pockets."
- Eddy Peters

Now that I like! 8)

"See, to me, England was nothing more then a big f*cking American state, like North Dakota or Canada." - Stevo, from SLC Punk

"No beer and no TV make Homer go something something."
"Go crazy?"
"Don't mind if I do!"-Simpsons



...Blahhh lah bwlah argh!!

:lol:

"Inconceivable!" -- The Princess Bride

"40 years of metal tend to get into your skin,
the surest coin you take home from your wage,
the green cleaning jelly only goes to rub it in,
And that glitter in the wrinkle of your knuckle goes to show your age,
began when the dignity of work was all the rage."

-from a song no less.

"What's the matter? The sheets? The plumbing? The... stench? Although, should you have a... personal problem, I am in fact a qualified gynacologist. Oh yes. Well, strictly speaking I am an amatuer, but... I'm bloody keen. Oh, keen as mustard!"

- Guest House Paradiso

"And if you boil cranberries in applesauce it tastes much more like prunes than rhubarb does."

- Duck Soup

"God is Dead."-Friedrich Nietzche.

By Eulalia 94825,
One of my first Nationstates Characters
Eulalia.... Redwall....

"Nietzsche is dead!" -God

"I know that given the choice i probably wouldnt have chosen you as friends but over the years ive come to regard you as.................people i met"

Rimmer, Red Dwarf
:lol:

"And since when did Saruman the Wise reason for MADNESS?!"
-Lord of the Rings

"I've come to understand that a cultural war is raging across our land, in which, with Orwellian fervor, certain acceptable thoughts and speech are mandated" — Charlton Heston

"Gentlemen, you are about to enter the most fascinating sphere of police work - The world of forensic medicine!"

- Quincy (King of Men)

"Gentlemen, you are about to enter the most fascinating sphere of police work - The world of forensic medicine!"

- Quincy (King of Men)

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Donut"





:lol:

---Post deleted by NationStates Moderators---

"am i part of the cure or am i part of the disease"
i'm not sure who said it first, i know it's in a coldplay song but they weren't the first...

"If god existed, it would be neccesary to abolish him."
~Bakunin

"When you have a master in heaven, you are a slave on earth."
~Bakunin (Inexact quotation)

"Your not building this country for a day, it is to last through the ages."

-Teddy Roosevelt

Greetings. You're asking yourself: Is this a trap or just
a dead end?

You shouldn't ask yourself such worthless questions. Aim
higher. Try this: why am I here? Why do I exist, and what is
my purpose in this universe?

(Answers: 'Cause you are. 'Cause you do. 'Cause I got a
shotgun, and you ain't got one.)

Notably Unstable,
Durandal

P.S. If things around here aren't working, it's because I'm
laughing so hard.

Cautioners-Jimmy Eat World

The time I would spend with pictures I would not send.
I watched you go from left to right.
I followed you all night across my blinds.
You'll change your mind come monday and turn your back on me.
You'll take your steps away with hesitance.
Take your steps away from me.
I'm making my peace, making it with distance.
Maybe that's a big mistake.
You know I'm thinking of you.
I miss you.
You'll change your mind come monday and turn your back on me.
You'll take your steps away with hesitance.
You'll take your steps away from me.
You'll change your mind come monday and turn your back on me.
Take your steps away with hesitance.
Take your steps away from me.

if you jsut quote it it's too easy to take out of context

"Away, you three inch fool!" (Shakespeare- Taming of the Shrew)

"Hell is empty and all the devils are here!" (The Tempest)

"Watch out, he's winding the watch of his wit, by and by it will strike..." (The Tempest)

"Four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one." (Much Ado About Nothing)

"If you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt." (The Two Gentlemen of Verona)

That Heronimous Bosch. What a wierdo.
-Good Omens

"It is easier to fight for your principles than to live by them." ~ Alfred Adler

I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be mine, and he shall be my Squishy. -Dory, Finding Nemo

Have me on the floor? Oh, God, somebody have me on the floor. I remember being had on the floor. It was nice, that, being had on the floor. - Claire Harrison, Whose Life is it Anyway?

Who's gonna be there? Gingrich? Buchanan? Satan? - Liz, The Water Children

But other than that, she's perfect. - Chance, The Water Children

We have to work hard to maintain or nembence of sormalcy. - Tiffany

It's a matter of priorities. Oh the Nazis are marching into Poland? Sorry, I have to sweep up hair clumps. - Tony Dinardi, The Water Children

Randall - This is Megan, Tony. Say hello.
Tony Dinardi - Your last name's Tony?
Megan - No, Healy.
Tony Dinardi - I was gonna say. That's wierd. Her last name is my first name.
Randall - I just made an introduction, Tony. Remember, we talked about introductions.

... and in a later scene...

Randall - Say hello to Megan, Tony.
Tony Dinardi - Your last name's Tony?
Megan - No. Healy.
Tony Dinardi - I was gonna say. That's wierd. Her last name is my first name. If we got married I'd be Tony Tony. No wait.

A f**k-up is when you oversleep on the morning of your SATs. Taking four lives is not a f**k-up! - Megan, The Water Children

"BOING!!!" ~ Zebedee, The Magic Roundabout

I'm not afraid of computers taking over the world. They're jsut sitting there. I can smash them with a 2-by-4. -Thom Yorke

'The problem with you, is that you either miss the point or get stabbed by it.'- Me!

here is a quote that seems to be a very popular national motto in nationstates:

"I am not prejudiced, I hate everyone equally."
- the great W.C. Fields.

Now there was a guy with a ton of great quotes!

here is a quote that seems to be a very popular national motto in nationstates:

"I am not prejudiced, I hate everyone equally."
- the great W.C. Fields.

Now there was a guy with a ton of great quotes!
his epitaph: "All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia".
And then there was his quote about why he wouldn't drink water! :oops:

---Post deleted by NationStates Moderators---

I have a whole .txt file of these things:
"They couldn't hit an elephant from here"
Union General Sedgwick's last words before being shot by a sniper.

"The Rebel army is now the legitimate property of the Army of the Potomac."
Joseph Ho,oker spoke these pompous words shortly before he was soundly defeated at Chancellorsville.

"When governments fear the people, there is liberty. When the people fear the government, there is tyranny."
Thomas Jefferson

“Do your duty in all things- you cannot do more, you should never wish to do less."
Robert E. Lee

"Governor, if I had foreseen the use those people designed to make of their victory, there would have been no surrender at Appomattox Courthouse; no sir, not by me. Had I foreseen these results of subjugation, I would have preferred to die at Appomattox with my brave men, my sword in this right hand."
Robert E. Lee, August 1870

"Hard pressed on my right; my left is in retreat. My center is yielding. Impossible to maneuver. Situation excellent, I am attacking."
Marshall Ferdinand Foch

"Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more"
Mark Twain

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
Mark Twain

"Clothes make the man. people have little or no influence on society."
Mark Twain

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."
Mark Twain

"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please."
Mark Twain

"Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it."
Mark Twain

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
Mark Twain

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it."
Mark Twain

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
Mark Twain

"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."
Mark Twain

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man."
Mark Twain

"If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything."
Mark Twain

"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."
Mark Twain

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt"
Mark Twain

"Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."
Mark Twain

Mark Twain is awesome. And, as you should be able to tell, I'm a big American Civil War buff.

Leonard Cohen: "I fought against the bottle, but I had to do it drunk. Took my diamond to the pawnshop but that don't make it junk."
"I'm what I am, and what I am is back on Boogie Street."
"Everyone lives, and everyone dies. Hello my love, and, my love, goodbye."
Teddy Roosevelt: "It is not having gone in to the dark house that matters; it is having left it."

"Hello friends! _I_ am just a perfectly normal human worm baby.
Don't pay attention to me..and we'll get along just fine..." - Invader Zim

"Yay! We're doomed!" - Gir, Invader Zim

"C'mere and I'll biter ya kneecaps off!" - The Black Knight with no limbs, Monthy Python

:lol:

"A mind once stretched by a new idea never regains its original dimension."
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes

"One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing."
-- Socrates (though I've seen many different translations of this...)

"I prefer to blame... Congress."
-- from A Wish for Wings that Work

"Yes, ordinary water. Laced with nothing more than a few spoons full of LSD."
-- from Futurama

"I am the voice of reason! Listen to the voice of reason!"
-- my friend

"Weather's like rape--long as it's inevitable, you might as well lie back and enjoy it."
-- Clayton Williams, Republican gubernational candidate of TX

"Women prefer Democrats to men."
-- Representative Tony Coelho (D-CA)

"It is about a socialist, antifamily political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians."
-- Pat Robertson, 1992, on the proposed Equal Rights Amendment

"Babylon is the ancient enemy of God's people, both in metaphor and in the taking of Israel into captivity. America, with Her great Anti-Christic leader George W. Bush, is poised to become ancient Babylon.

Many of you have mocked this message, saying America could not possibly take over Iraq."
-- from www.godhatesamerica.com

"WBC to picket the monstrous sodomite whorehouse masquerading as a nation -- CANADA"
-- from www.godhatesfags.com

"Conditions such as these resulted in the Labor Movement, the most important leader of which was Samuel Gompers. And even if he wasn't the most important, he definitely had the best name. We could just say it over and over: Gompers Gompers Gompers. This would be an excellent name for a large dog."
-- from Dave Barry Slept Here

"The problem is we elected a manager, and we need a leader. Let's face it: Bush is just dim. I believe he thinks this [war against Iraq] is a war that can be won, but there is no such thing anymore...We can't beat anyone anymore" --George Clooney

"Our country is founded on a sham: our forefathers were slave-owning rich white guys who wanted it their way. So when I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me.' That you can have a gay parade on Christopher Street in New York, with naked men and women on a float cheering, 'We're here, we're queer!' -- that's what makes my heart swell. Not the flag, but a gay naked man or woman burning the flag. I get choked up with pride."
--Janeane Garofalo

"By some demented form of logic, the men, women and children of Iraq are relegated to 'collateral damage' as the dogs of war slouch toward Baghdad." --Martin Sheen

"We live in a time where we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons. Whether it is the fictition [sic] of duct tape or the fictition [sic] of orange alerts, we are against this war, Mr. Bush. Shame on you, Mr. Bush!” --Michael Moore

"It's nice being in Europe. Almost everyone in Germany and France is in sync with the governments. "I almost forgot what it's like to be proud of my government."
--Edward Norton

"Since when is offensive language a reason for being unpopular? I find the language of George W much more offensive."; "I like the fact that Eminem is brash and angry and politically incorrect. At least he has an opinion. He's stirring things up, he's making people's blood boil, he's reflecting on what's going on in society right now. This is what art's supposed to do. And after all, he's just a boy," --Madonna

"Bush is a racist" --Danny Glover

"I don't really view communism as a bad thing." --Whoopi Goldberg
:lol: :twisted:

Love is not too people looking at each other...it's two people looking together in the same direction.
-can't remember where that came from, but I didn't make that up.

"Just like Rubix cube, the more you play with it the harder it gets" ~ Joel Gertner, some ECW PPV

"OH MY GOD!" ~ Joey Styles, every ECW PPV 8)

I personally think, that if you want humorous quotes, then Monty Python is the answer:

Tim the Enchanter: "Follow, but follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so fowl, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair! So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage, or your strength, come nay further, for death awaits you all . . . with nasty big pointy teeth!"

Tim the Enchanter: "There it is!"
King Arthur: "Where?"
Tim the Enchanter: "There."
King Arthur: "What, behind the rabbit?"
Tim the Enchanter: "It is the rabbit!"

Man I laughed when I saw this.


If you want some serious quotes, then the best might be found from some famous philosopher or such:

“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.” - Albert Einstein

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.” - Also, Albert Einstein.

"We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills;we shall never surrender." -Sir Winston Churchill

It's not what you know, and it's not who you... it's what you know about who you know....

Me.... 2001

"I'll only hurt you in my dreams" ~ Feed The Tree by Belly

"The only thing we can be sure about the future is uncertainty" FF8

What ya gona do when hulkamana runs wild on you

"Gentlemen, you are about to enter the most fascinating sphere of police work - The world of forensic medicine!"

- Quincy (King of Men)

Quincy rules! It was worth repeating.

'Let's blow this sleazy joint!'
I don't know where this comes from but I seem to say it a lot, mostly when leaving work. If anyone can help me out with it's origin I'd be grateful.

'I demand more booze!'
'We want the finest wines know to humanity, we want them here and we want them now.'
'There must and shall be aspirin.'
'I feel like a pig shat in my head.'
'HOW DARE YOU!'
'FORK IT!'
'GETINTHEBACKOFTHEVAN!'

Ah Withnail and I, so quotable it's stupid. :D

What ya gona do when hulkamana runs wild on you

Just bring it :wink:

"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." - Sir Winston Churchill

Cheers

SAM: What will you have, Norm?
NORM: Well, I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.
SAM: Oh, looks like beer, Norm.
NORM: Call me Mister Lucky.

"See, to me, England was nothing more then a big f*cking American state, like North Dakota or Canada." - Stevo, from SLC Punk


good movie :D

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious. - Oscar Wilde

I've had plenty of Joe jobs, nothing I'd call a career. Lets just say I've got a healthy collection of name tags and hair nets. - Wayne's World

I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
- Lily Tomlin

Therefore those skilled in warfare move the enemy, and are not moved by the enemy

Sun Tsu Art of War

"Peace can not be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding. " Albert Einstein

"No one can escape me on Black Death I ride
When kissed by the sword of Vengeance
Your head lays there by your side"

Stupidity is a worldwide phenomenon.

No Matter Where You Go, There You Are
Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori.
Qui custodiet ipsos custodes?

David Letterman : After 16 years, 66,000 shows, 'Les Miserables' closed the curtain. - Take that France!

Keep using my name in vain, I'll make rush hour longer.
-God

"One short sleep past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more, Death thou shalt die"
-John Donne

A superior pilot uses his superior judgement to avoid situations that recquire his superior skill.

"Open Your eyes,Open your mouth,close your your hand and make a fist."-System of a Down

"Adults, parents, guardians, lend me your ears! Entertainment isn't the problem; YOU are!"

"We can't stop here. This is bat country."

"I'm not short . . . you're all abnormally tall . . . " ~Me

Love is not too people looking at each other...it's two people looking together in the same direction.
-can't remember where that came from, but I didn't make that up.

Gibran, maybe? Not sure though...

"(British) women are by no means seductive,
and have fierce tempers"

Claudius (as in the emperor...)

"When faced with a choice between two evils, I always try to pick the one I've never tried before"

Mae West

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on"

Dean Martin

When asked to make a sentence using "horticulture": "You can take a whore to culture, but you can't make her think."

Dorothy Parker

"The soul is born old and dies young. That's life's comedy. The body is born young and dies old. That's life's tragedy.!

Oscar Wilde

"Look on my face. My name is Might-Have-Been, Too Late, Farewell"

Christina Rossetti

"If the thing could cook, I'd f*cking marry it."
Bear on his favorite helicopter, Rainbow Six

"Oh, you swing that way too? Wanna come up here and try?"
John, replying to "F*ck you, man.", Without Remorse

"I just touched my sweaty balls and hit a mentally retarded kid with the same hand, and I feel great."
Someone at my school.

"One advice to you girls, who want to be a star: You don't have to look like a slut to become famous."
-Myself

"God, please save me from your followers!"
- Bumper stciker

"Nuke a gay whale for Jesus!"
- Seen on Raimi's hat in Broken Saints

"Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick!"
- One of my friends

"It can have pleasing."
- My personal favorite Engrish hentai quote

"You are a humongously keen someone who thinks that placenta sounds tasty!"
- The Second Reincarnation of The Final Grandson of Wowbagger The Infinitely Prolonged (an insult-generating program - over 14 billion possible insults!)

"This quote has been chemically treated to protect the poor."
- Me

"Humans: a peculiar species of nearly hairless primates who often believe that they are better than any other species that exists, ever has existed, or ever will exist, though none of them can explain why."
- Me again

I've got plenty of others running through my head right now, but I think they're a little too perverted for the mods to appreciate.

"Freedom's just another thing we sell."
- Money is the Law by The Devil is Electric

"I don't see why people are so upset about cloning sheep. American
television networks have been doing that to their audiences for years."
- Jello Biafra

"Moo."
- many a cow that I have heard

"Hah! Perhaps you wish to die for your Diet Coke, Mister No-Topic Writer Man!"
- Dave Barry

"I do not fear your cheese whiz!"
- a friend of mine

"Moo."
- many a cow that I have heard

I think that's the first time i've smiled today, thanx :D

"Moo."
- many a cow that I have heard

I think that's the first time i've smiled today, thanx :D

You're quite welcome. :D

Back to the future:

Marty McFly: "Does it run like on, on regular unleaded gasoline?"
Dr. Emmett L. Brown: "Unfortunately, no. It requires something with a little more kick . . . plutonium! "

Marty McFly: "Doc, are you telling me you built a time machine . . . out of a Delorean? "
Dr. Emmett L. Brown: "The way I see it, if you're gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style. "


Austin Powers: The Spy WHo Shagged Me:

"Why make trillions if you could make... billions?"
--Dr. Evil

Woman: "Oh my god, look at that! It looks just like my husband's--"
Carnival Worker: "ONE-EYED MONSTER! Come see the One-eyed Monster!"
One Eyed Monster: "Oh my god, it's a giant--"
Chinese Teacher: "Wang! pay attention!"
Wang: "Sorry, sir I was distracted by that giant flying--"
Fan: "Woody! Woody Harrelson! Could I have your autograph?"

Bye...

"You came in that thing?" best sexual inuendo in Star Wars

"Be bold & mighty forces will come to your aid" ~ I can't remember who originally said it but it's quoted in 'Almost Famous'

I personally think, that if you want humorous quotes, then Monty Python is the answer:

Tim the Enchanter: "Follow, but follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so fowl, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair! So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage, or your strength, come nay further, for death awaits you all . . . with nasty big pointy teeth!"

Tim the Enchanter: "There it is!"
King Arthur: "Where?"
Tim the Enchanter: "There."
King Arthur: "What, behind the rabbit?"
Tim the Enchanter: "It is the rabbit!"

Man I laughed when I saw this.



"...and the aptly named Sir Not Appearing In This Film" :D

"...and the aptly named Sir Not Appearing In This Film" :D

He was my favourite :D

Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, "Wish you were here." - Steven Wright

Don't take life too seriously, you'll never make it out alive.
-Van Wilder

Trying is the first step towards failure.
-Homer Simpson

From History of the World Part I
Oedipus: "What's up Josephus:
Josephus: "What's up motherf*cker"

My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.
-Ronald Reagan

"Never tangle with anything that has more teeth than the entire Osmond family."
-Rimmer, Red Dwarf

"Is it possible for you to shut the fuck up for 10 seconds?"
-Reservoir Dogs

"WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION, NUMBNUTS? DIDN'T MOMMY AND DADDY GIVE YOU ENOUGH ATTENTION WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD?"
-Full Metal Jacket

"I love the smell of naplam in the morning. It's that smell....you know...that gasoline smell.....smells like......like victory."
-Apocolypse Now

"We got nukes....knives....sharp sticks!"
-Aliens

Beware the pitch fork for it has three prongs (from a book of random silly proverbs)

And just how do you intend to remove the threat?

With napalm. Lots and lots of napalm.

- Evolution.

"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die" ~ Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(can't imagine why this film has popped into my head :P )

"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die" ~ Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(can't imagine why this film has popped into my head :P )

AGh that is one of my fav movies!

"Now leave before I have to call the Brute Squad" - Miracle Max
"I'm on the Brute Squad" - Fezzig
"You are the Brute Squad"- Miracle Max

Love that movie *thinks he'll watch it when he gets home*

Only one of us gets out of here alive; and if I'm going down I'm taking you all with me!- Grimzag Deathjaw

Fatum Iustum Stultorum- Tycho

Whatever you do; Try not to think about it- Matthew Thomas' Before & After

Love that movie *thinks he'll watch it when he gets home*

Farmboy!

yours? :wink:

"Dodge This" -The Matrix

"Bring out your dead!" -Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"Mostly Harmless" -The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy

"Knock Knock
Who's There?
Go F--- Yourself." -Catch Me If You Can

"'You know,' said Arthur, 'it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space, that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young.'

'Why, what did she tell you?'

'I don't know, I didn't listen.'" -The Hitchikers Guide the Galaxy

These have to be some of the best quotes of all time.

yours? :wink:

I wish! :wink:

:D *blushes*

"I hate you Eengleesh, with your shiny toilet paper and your ridiculous preconception that all Frenchmen are great lovers -
I'm French, and I'm hung like a baby carrot and a couple of petits pois"

From Blackadder the 3rd - always makes me chuckle.

"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die" ~ Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(can't imagine why this film has popped into my head :P )

AGh that is one of my fav movies!

"Now leave before I have to call the Brute Squad" - Miracle Max
"I'm on the Brute Squad" - Fezzig
"You are the Brute Squad"- Miracle Max

Love that movie *thinks he'll watch it when he gets home*


I'm just one big movie freak, you know, I have few of my favourite quotes about this film too:

Inigo Montoya: I admit it, you are better than I am.
Westley: Then why are you smiling?
Inigo Montoya: Because I know something you don't know.
Westley: And, what is that?
Inigo Montoya: I am not left handed.

Westley: There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. 'Twould be a pity to damage yours.

Westley: Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

Man I love this movie too.

Inigo Montoya: Then why are you smiling?
Westley: Because I know something you don't know.
Inigo Montoya: And, what is that?
Westley: I am not left handed either


(ack! unable to write in italics - curses!)

Max Barry: "Being a writer means sitting in front of a computer and resisting the urge to play minesweeper."

'lo bob. you like pie?'

- weebl and bob

(ack! unable to write in italics - curses!)

Add tag before text, Then add another one, but before i, put /. Like this /i]. Understand now? Then, the text should look like [i]this

Huh. Now thats embarrassing.

"...was something he said once, before they took him away to the Massachusetts State Home for the Bewildered, he said 'Life is like a sewer- what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.'"- Tom Lehrer

Bart: Hey mouse... say cheese! (FLASH - robot mouse dies) Ha ha ha, with a dry cool wit like that, I could be an action hero!

Homer: DIE EVIL ROBOT DIE! (smashes robot cat with club) Heh, with a dry cool wit like that, I could be an action hero!

"Violence is the last refuge of the icompetent" - Salvor Hardin, Foundation(Isaac Asimov)

Don't know if this is said in this thread already(probably is), but I haven't got time to read it through. A great quote, some people here should sometimes think about it a bit, "I n00k you with 2943525353 n00ks!"

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight." - George Bush

"Hey, I got two words for you...BRUSH YOUR TEETH!"

Tank Girl: "u know wat i see?"
Evil dude: "no, wat do u see?"
Tank girl: "this great big, organ booger, hanging out your left nostril."

"it's really hard to play with myself in this thing."

All from the film 'Tank Girl'

"Violence is the last refuge of the icompetent" - Salvor Hardin, Foundation(Isaac Asimov)

EXCELLENT TASTE, my friend. Have you read his robot stories? If you haven't, make sure you do. They're BRILLIANT!!

Love is not too people looking at each other...it's two people looking together in the same direction.
-can't remember where that came from, but I didn't make that up.

I think this one is from Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, de famous French writer.


"I let him go": Arnold Schwarznegger (don't know which movie), after dropping some bad guy from a cliff.

"You look like death on a trisket" ~ The West Wing

"You know, I'm not the only one that lives here." ~ My wife, talking about our unorganized and slightly trashed house. She makes me laugh.

I laugh at everything for fear of being obliged to weep ~ Barber d' Sevile

Dreaming permits each & every one of us to be quietly & safely insane every night of our lives... ~unknown

From the movie Wayne's World

Garth Algar: Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played girl bunny?
Wayne Campbell: [cracks up laughing] No... No!
Garth Algar: Neither did I. I was just asking.

I don't know who said this, but it's great-

If you learn more and more about less and less, then eventually you'll know everything about nothing. :D

"My ass is twitching, you people make my ass twitch" - Meg Ryan, French Kiss

From my all time favorite movie-Labyrinth
"Hilo" - worm
"Did you just say hello?" - Sara
"No, I said hilo, but thats close enough" - worm

"It's the duty of all prisoners of war to try to escape" ~ No idea where it's from, I just like it

"All nice things are good for you" ~ Moominmama in one of the Moomin books but I can't remember which one :(

" The future ain't what it used to be " - Yogi Berra

" They say I'm lazy , but it takes all my time" - "Lifes been good to me " ,an old song

" Constructive criticism is rarely either." - I can't remember

" Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff " - Frank Zappa

" If you have integrity , nothing else matters . If you don't have integrity , nothing else matters."- Alan Simpson

" Money doesn't talk , it swears." - Bob Dylan " It's alright , Ma (I'm Only Bleeding"

" Brilliance is like four-wheel drive , it allows one to get stuck in even more remote places." - Garrison Keillor

" An eye for an eye leaves the last one-eyed man king" - once again can't remember.

" A man who wants to do something will find a way , a man who doesn't will find an excuse." Stephen Dolley, Jr.

'This done, I assured them that I had not pissed the bed, but, rather, sweated heavily in the night as a result of having slept fully dressed.'

- Frank Skinner By Frank Skinner

"I'm inherently ridiculous" ~ Me, this morning

"All day I wait and wait
To hear her footsteps on my walkway." - From a Cake song, you have to hear it sung to love it

"You changed my life. I wish I was sorry for all I've done. You're beautiful" ~ line from a song by a band I know

"You changed my life. I wish I was sorry for all I've done. You're beautiful" ~ line from a song by a band I know

Aww that's a pretty lyric. Is that a local band?

"You changed my life. I wish I was sorry for all I've done. You're beautiful" ~ line from a song by a band I know

Aww that's a pretty lyric. Is that a local band?

Yeah, i'd tell you their name but I've just had a total blank on it. I assume it one of their own songs altho I've never asked. And they are a totally fantastic band, I just love them & I go around singing their stuff :D

To test a man give him power.-Abraham Lincon

insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world

"Damn I'm good!" ~ Chaucer, A Knight's Tale. You have to see the film for the context :D

another one from a knioghts tale "they said you were good with horseshoes but shite with armour, the fact that you were a woman wasn't even mentioned"

"His soul is gone but his stench remains"

Inqui, I love A Knight's Tale :D

I have so many that I can't remember all of their names, but oh well.

You know the world's going to hell when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America cup, Germany doesn't want to go to war, France is accusing America of arrogance, and the three most important men in the U.S. are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colon"
Chris Rock

WWJD? Jesus would kill you.

Everyone creates their own demise

I dreamt I wan a moron.

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

There are very few people who don't become more interesting when they stop talking.

There is nothing wrong with teenagers that reasoning with them won't aggravate.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.

Today is the tomorrow we worry about yesterday.

Dr. Niles Crane: Her lips were saying "no," but her eyes were saying, "read my lips." Fraiser

Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass.
Fry: It doesn't look so shiny to me.
Bender: Shinier than yours, meatbag. futurama

Bender: Let's face it, comedy is a dead art form. Now tragedy, ha ha ha, that's funny!
futurama

Lord Percy: The fashion today is towards the tiny.
Edmund Blackadder: In that case you have the most fashionable brain in London. The Black Adder

Edmund Blackadder : Right Baldrick, let's try again shall we? This is called adding. If I have two beans, and then I add two more beans, what do I have?
Baldrick: Some beans.
Edmund Blackadder: Yes... and no. Let's try again shall we? I have two beans, then I add two more beans. What does that make?
Baldrick: A very small casserole.
Edmund Blackadder: Baldrick, the ape creatures of the Indus have mastered this. Now try again. One, two, three, four. So how many are there?
Baldrick: Three.
Edmund Blackadder: What?
Baldrick: ...and that one.
Edmund Blackadder: Three and that one. So if I add that one to the three what will I have?
Baldrick: Oh! Some beans.
Edmund Blackadder: Yes. To you Baldrick, the Renaissance was just something that happened to other people, wasn't it?

The Black Adder

"I miss you like the sun misses the flower" - A Knight's Tale

Just about anything from any of the Blackadder series. But these are some of my favorites:

"Shall I prepare the guest room for Mr. Cockup my lord?"

"It's a potato. He's making a fortune out of the things. People are smoking them... building houses out of them... they'll be eating them next."

"Just a wild stab in the dark. Which is incidentally what you'll be getting if you don't start being a bit more helpful."

"That's not the only thing around here that's 'very small indeed'. Your brain for example, is so minute, Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open there wouldn't be enough inside to cover a small water-biscuit."



Oh, and change of tack for a moment - this one, from The Demolition Man:

"Murder-death-kill? We're police officers: We're not trained to deal with this kind of violence!"

:D

England? I don't believe in it!
Just a conspiracy of cartographers, you mean?

Rosencranz and Guildenstern are Dead

"All generalisations are misleading"-some smart guy

It is my firm belief that it is a mistake to hold firm beliefs
-Principia Discordia

To live is to serve and to serve is to live.

I love the smell of napalm in the morning, it smells like victory

you know one day this war's gonna end...

Apocalypse now

Pain and suffering is just weakness leaving the body

this I like. Where's it from
?

"like most intellectuals, he is intensely stupid"

from dangerous liasons

I like things by Joseph Stalin...Not that he was a nice man, but he said some wonderful things.

"the worst feeling in the world is waking up in the morning"

"when your crossing the street,don't look at the lights..damn the lights...they ain't never killed nobody"

"the wheel is turning,but the hampster's definately dead"

"your child is depriving some village of an idiot"

"Violence is the last refuge of the icompetent" - Salvor Hardin, Foundation(Isaac Asimov)

<SNIP>


TO WHICH ROBERT HEINLIEN REPLIED

Because if you leave it to your last refuge, you must be incompetent

mmmmmm chicken! - Homer Simpson

Loser, Idiot, Retard, Degenerate, Wimp....SLLLLUUUT! - Jim Carrey in Liar Liar

"It is not having been inside the dark house, but having left it, that matters."- Theodore Roosevelt
"I am eating it because it is bitter and because it is my heart."-Stephen Crane
"He must grow; I must disappear." Hermann Hesse
"No one is alone; not really alone"-Sondheim, Into the Wood

"Avaunt! And quit my sight! Thy bones are marrowless, thy blood is cold. Thou hast no sight in those eyes which thou dost glare with."

"this is where the tears would be if i could cry, but i cant. botched facelift!"-the simpsons

"why did you think a giant bubble would stop them from escaping?"
"shut up thats why"- the simpsons

"your mother was a hampster and your father smells of elder berries"- snooty french man from monty python and the holy grail.

"he seems fine but he is being burned internally"- the simpsons

"the best thing about my job is i get to travel to oversea countries, like canada" - britney spears

"many people lived in this century, i didnt live in this century"- george w.

"if there was a cow it wouldnt have a name yet"-me

"you, your good you, yooooou, your good, yoooooou"- robert de niro

"no im not"- billy crystal

"we've got to gay it forward"- jack mcfarland(will and grace)

"that was naughty"-sean connery

"im not marrying him for his money."
"then what are you marrying him for?"
"your money"
-marilyn monroe (gentlemen prefer blondes)

"i tried"-wendy

"haaaaaaaaaaarrr"-apollo

"gggglass eye ttttony, tony tony tony!"-my sister

"...but it is hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember to hold onto it. And then it flows through me like rain, and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry. You will, someday."
-American Beauty

'Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.' -Jack Handy

'Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.' -Jack Handy


"I don't think that Saddam Hussein is deliberately starving his own people. I would think that a man who gets 99 percent of the people to vote for him in an election and the people love him so much, how would they love a man that is starving them?'' - Louis Farrakhan :roll:

"Art washes from the soul the dust of everyday life." -Picasso

"Try not to let your mind wander. It's much to small to be outside by itself."

'If, when I say I may fade like a sigh if I stay,
You minimize my movement anyway,
I must persuade you another way.

There's no love in fear.' -Tool's "Pushit"

'As you slide down the banister of life, remember me as the splinter in your ass.'

"Not to know what happened before you were born is to be forever a child."

If I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way.
-NIN's "Hurt"

'This was an artist's stare, attentive to detail, taking in the truth without preconceptions.' -Janet Fitch's White Oleander

Aragorn: I do not know what strength is in my blood, but I swear to you I will not let the white city fall, nor our people fail!
Boromir: Our people? Our people.
Boromir: I would have followed you my brother, my captain, my king.
-LOTR: The Fellowship of the Ring

rock on \m/

"Rock 'n' roll has always been fuelled by drugs. I mean, the Beatles were so f*cking high they even let Ringo sing."

- Brian Molko. He's the vocalist from Placebo, which makes it even funnier :P


Ralph Wiggum: "Me fail english? that's unpossible!"

Bwahahaha

'Funk me up
Funk me down
Funk me sideways
Funk me always
Bring the funk'

- 'Bring the Funk' by Ben Harper

ALSO:

Niles: I'll never be able to face the maid again
Frasier: I don't think it's your face she'll remember

When asked if he discussed human rights issues with the Chinese Premier, Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien said

"I rosed the issue with him" :roll:

"Meow" - A bilingual dog

Simpsons

Lisa:Is that dad?
Bart:Either that or Batman really let himself go

Ask me how many times my heart has been broken and i'll tell u 2 look into the sky and count the stars.

You've gotta dance like no-one is watching and love like its neva gonna hurt.

Life was so much easier when boys had cooties and the only thing u had 2 worry about was whether or not mum would buy u a new barbie doll.

I know hundreds of sayings so if u want some just telegram me at Horny Angels or Sexy Devils! ASAP! :wink:

- Tell me who you hang out with and i'll tell you who you are
- When the stomach is full, the heart is joyful
- Patriotism isn't more than massive egoism
- Reality is an illusion caused by the lack of alcohol

If I had my life to live over again, I'd be a plumber. - Albert Einstein

"I don't know, skip it." --Billy Bob Thornton as the barber Ed Crane in The Man Who Wasn't There

'Moo'- The Amazing Adventures of Daisy the Cow

No kiddin'

"Love until it hurts."-Mother Theresa

"Follow your bliss."-Joseph Campbell

"Hitch your wagon to a star."-Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Whatever you do, do it with style."-Freddie Mercury

"The most important thing darling is to live a fabulous life, as long as it's fabulous, i don't care how long it is."-Freddie Mercury

"Hi. My name is Jack, and I'm going to kill everyone in this room."
- Jack, Jack (both the character's name and the comic)

"WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE."
- God's message to all of creation, Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy

"SHEILA!!! NOOOOOO!!!"
"NO!! NO!! NOT SHEILA!!! ... Wait, who's Sheila?"
"Sheila was the lady in the tank... She was my friend..."
"Dude! I told you you could pick up chicks in a tank!"
- Caboose and Tucker, Red Vs. Blue

"Feeling sad? Alone? Unloved? Buy a hamster!"
- Billboard from Supermegatopia

"May there be lettuce and slices of melon!"
- Great God Om, Small Gods

"Smite you with a thunderbolt!"
- Great God Om, Small Gods

"And then the mushrooms start growing after the rainy season. The desert gets quite... interesting after that."
"Interesting? Like giant singing purple slugs, exploding giraffes? That sort of thing?"
"Good heavens, yes! How did you know? I think they might be attracted by the mushrooms."
- Brutha and St. Ungulate, Small Gods

"The course of true love never did run smooth" ~ Lysander, A Midsummer Night's Dream

"In the bed, if I used my tongue, would you like that?" ~ 21 Questions by 50 Cent. Am I the only girl out there that this line does something to? :wink:

(OOC: Am i the only person with favourite quotes these days? :? )

Parliament in the 30's. Winston Churchill and Lady Astor hated each other and after one particularly nasty row, Lady Astor said to Winnie: "Mister Churchill, if you were my husband, I'd put arsnic in your coffee". Churchill answered "Madam, if I were your husband.....I'd drink it".

And another incident between the two:
<Lady Astor> "Sir! You are drunk."
<Churchill> "Yes, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."

"Guns don't kill people: bullets kill people. Big F*cking bullets fired from big F*cking guns." - unknown

"Great minds think alike" - traditional
"and Fools seldom differ." - oft-forgotten second line of above.

"A wise man and a fool travelled in the desert together.
The wise man knew nothing of the desert, and so was soon exhausted, hungry and dehydrated. The fool had lived in the desert all his life, so he knew where to find water and he knew what creatures could be eaten and where to find them. Thus they both lived and the fool turned to the wise man and asked 'So who's the wise man now?' 'I am,' came the reply 'for when travelling in the desert, I chose to bring an expert: you brought only a fool.'"

"When my time comes, I want to be buried face down... so everyone who doesn't like me can kiss my ass!!"

-Red Forman, That 70s Show

From UK tv THE SWEENEY in the 70's

"George get the shooters !"

"Don't piss on my back and tell me its raining?"

"Get our trousers on love, your nicked "

"I've run out of Scotch......bollocks !"

---Post deleted by NationStates Moderators---

"Guns don't kill people: bullets kill people. Big F*cking bullets fired from big F*cking guns." - unknown

"Great minds think alike" - traditional
"and Fools seldom differ." - oft-forgotten second line of above.

"A wise man and a fool travelled in the desert together.
The wise man knew nothing of the desert, and so was soon exhausted, hungry and dehydrated. The fool had lived in the desert all his life, so he knew where to find water and he knew what creatures could be eaten and where to find them. Thus they both lived and the fool turned to the wise man and asked 'So who's the wise man now?' 'I am,' came the reply 'for when travelling in the desert, I chose to bring an expert: you brought only a fool.'"

Correction.Guns don't kill people the government does-Dale Dribble,King of the Hill

Correction.Guns don't kill people the government does-Dale Dribble,King of the Hill

Actually:

"Guns don't kill people. I do" Test's t-shirt from some PPV :wink:

"We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the dessert when the drugs began to take hold." H.S.T.

"We can't stop here - This is bat country!" H.S.T.

"He was better. But he thought I was finished, with only one arm. He never understood. You surrender after you’re dead." RJ

"You can never know everything, and part of what you know is always wrong. Perhaps even the most important part. A portion of wisdom lies in knowing that. A portion of courage lies in going on anyways." RJ

"To destroy, or be destroyed. When that's your choice, is there a difference?"

'Once you realize your a dork life gets easier. No reason in trying to be cool.' -Reese Witherspoon-

'A true friend stabs you in the front!' -Oscar wilde-

'True freindship multiplies in the good in life and divides in its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island...to find one real firend in a life time is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing.' -Baltasar Gracian-

'When you have to cope with problems, you're either going to sink or you're going to swim.' -Tom Cruise-

'Wherever you go, there you are.' -Buckaroo Bonzai-

'If you wanna be sombody, if you wanna go somewhere...then wake up and pay attention!!!' -Whoopi Goldberg, Sister Act II-

'Star light star bright...where the heck is Mr. right???' -?-

Gotta love quotes!!!!!!!!!!!

-Rehab is for quitters!!!!!!!!- (state motto) :lol:

"Shoot me again, I ain't dead yet"

Mr. James Hetfield & friends on their latest album 'St.Anger'

"If there is such a thing as a genius, then I am one.
If there's not, then I don't care." - John Lennon

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." -Ogden Nash

Bruce Nolan: Where are you going?
God: Vacation.
Bruce Nolan: God can't take vacation!
God: Ever hear of the dark ages?

bruce almighty

"I deplore brutality," he said. "It's not efficient. On the other hand, prolonged mistreatment, short of physical violence, gives rise, when skillfully applied, to anxiety and a feeling of special guilt. A few rules or rather guiding principles are to be borne in mind. The subject must not realize that the mistreatment is a deliberate attack of an anti-human enemy on his personal identity. He must be made to feel that he deserves any treatment he receives because there is something (never specified) horribly wrong with him. The naked need of the control addicts must be decently covered by an arbitrary and intricate bureaucracy so that the subject cannot contact the enemy direct."

"Telling the truth is just an excuse for lack of imagination." Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

That homicidal b**** killed my team.
-Resident Evil

"As Lucetta fell to the floor convulsed in the paroxysms of an epileptic seizure"

From the Mayor of Casterbridge by Thomas Hardy.

I had to read this at school over 16 years ago. It struck me as the most hilarious death I had ever read, and it still does.

"What a mind numbingly stupid robot"

"Only one of us gets out of here alive; and if I'm going down I'm taking you all with me!" - Warchief Grimzag Deathjaw of Dregruk

"The ways that she was lovely must remain unnumbered... as the spaces in the rain."

- 'Time Again' by Atkin and James

"The guy must have been strong to pull him so far. Dead bodies are heavier than broken hearts."

- Raymond Chandler

"Mongo is only pawn in game of life."

- Mongo, Blazing Saddles.

My top 5 in no particular order

"There are no desperate situations, only desperate people."
--General Heinz Guderian
This refers to the Russian 1944 invasion of Poland called Operation Bagration. This quote is an excellent justification for lassiez-faire capitalism and meritocracy though.

"To retain respect for sausages and laws, one must not see them in the making."
--Otto von Bismarck
German sausages are yummy...

"The only good bureaucrat is one with a gun to his head."
--H.L. Mencken
Ever notice how our supposedly functional political system breaks down and does stupid things so often, but even the moronic Stalinist system worked when they got invaded by Nazis?

"Vae, Puto Deus Fio" (Look, I think I'm becoming a God)
--Emperor Vespasian, last words
Vespasian started out as a common peasant than he lived the American Dream, you know, burning down Middle East cities you don't like and building big stadiums? The quote is much funnier in Latin for some reason, I don't know why, so I included it in Latin and English.

"A true friend stabs you in the front."
--Chinese Proverb
Et tu, Brutus?

Cap'n Blackadder: (With underpants on his head and two pencils shoved up his nose) Alright Baldrick, ask me some questions.
Baldrick: What is your name?
C B: Wibble.
Baldrick: What age are you?
CB: Wibble.
Baldrick: Where are you from?
C B: Kent.
Baldrick: What?
C B: A small town on mars, two miles from the capital: Wibble.
----

Baldrick: But Mr. Blackadder! If I lie, I'll go to Hell and burn for all eternity!
Blackadder: Trust me, Baldrick. An eternity with Beelzebub, his instruments of torture and all his hellish companions will be a picnic compared to 5 minutes alone with me, and this pencil.

There was an qoute from an Native American that was on video on the Natives, but I don't know all of it but it's something like this...

"The men are supposed to be infront, and the woman supposed to behind him. The woman must be at the back so she can tell the man where to go."

I thought that's very interesting :D

"Thank God for the atmosphere, it's the best defence we've got"
Ed Straker
U.F.O.

I have no idea where this is from but here ya go:

"I want to decide who lives and who dies."

Thought i'd bring some fun to this thread :lol:



Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant "idiot".

-- (Terry Pratchett, The Colour of Magic)

It looked like the sort of book described in library catalogues as "slightly foxed", although it would be more honest to admit that it looked as though it had beed badgered, wolved and possibly beared as well.

-- Ah, but has it been hedgehogged? (Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic)

A Thaum is the basic unit of magical strength. It has been universally established as the amount of magic needed to create one small white pigeon or three normal sized billiard balls.

-- (Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic)


He moved in a way that suggested he was attempting the world speed record for the nonchalant walk.

-- (Terry Pratchett, The Light Fantastic)


Only one creature could have duplicated the expressions on their faces, and that would be a pigeon who has heard not only that Lord Nelson has got down off his column but has also been seen buying a 12-bore repeater and a box of cartridges.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Mort)


"You like it?" he said to Mort, in pretty much the same tone of voice people used when they said to St George, "You killed a what?"

-- Mort tastes scrumble for the first time (Terry Pratchett, Mort)

My mom is a Terry Pratchett fanatic, I think she all of his books.

I got the girlies in the coop, like the Colonel's got the chicken. - Beastie Boys :wink:

The evils of tyranny are rarely seen but by him who resists it. — JOHN HAY (1872)

Great Spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. — Albert Einstein

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. — Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)

The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire. — ROBERT A. HEINLEIN

Allowing riflery training while decrying gun violence doesn't send a mixed message any more than does supporting a wrestling team while opposing schoolyard brawls. — CHICAGO TRIBUNE

Never could any increase of comfort or security be a sufficient good to be bought at the price of liberty. —HILAIRE BELLOC

"Trust me i'm an expert" V
"It's just a coincidence. It's not scientific" CE3K

I believe you have my stapler? -Milton

PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean? -Michael

I'm thinking I might take that new chick from logistics. Things go well, I might be showin' her my O-face. Oh! Oh! Oh! You know what I'm talkin' about ... Oh! -Drew

Corporate Accounts Payable, Nina speaking! Just a moment!" -Nina

Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter: I wouldn't say I've been 'missing' it Bob.

If you could just go ahead and make sure you do that from now on, that would be great. -Bill Lumbergh

You're working at Initech because that question is bullshit to begin with. If everyone listened to her, there'd be no janitors, cause no one would clean shit up, if they had a million dollars. -Michael

Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do man ... two chicks at the same time, man.

"Use the Keyboard.........."
Scotty Star trek 4

"There is no justice, there's only me." Death, can't remember which book... Terry Pratchett.

"Whats the label on this wave say?
Made in Birmingham for the English Channel"
Ned Seagoon from The Great String Robberies
The Goons

"Whats the label on this wave say?
Made in Birmingham for the English Channel"
Ned Seagoon from The Great String Robberies
The Goons
Shut up, Eccles!

"There are only two types of people I hate. Those who don't respect the cultures of others. And the Dutch."

"Who's Keyser Soze?"
-
"THERE IS NO KEYSER SOZE!"
-
"I work for Keyser Soze."
-
"Dammit you c**ksuc**r there is no Keyser Soze and if you mention his name once more I'll kill you."
-
"I emplore you, Mr.Keaton, but Mr. Soze is very real, and very determined."
-
"I'M TELLING YOU IT'S KEYSER SOZE!"
-
"Lactema Keyser Soze! MEMENTE! KEYSER SOZE! Keyser *coughs violently* Soze!"
-
"It was Keyser Soze Agent Kujan! The Devil himself! How do you shoot the Devil in the back? *Holds up crippled fingers* What if you miss?"
-
"I can't feel my legs, Keyser..."

Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough!
It isn't fit for humans now,
There isn't grass to graze a cow.
Swarm over, Death!

John Betjeman

Romance is more solid than realism, and that for a very evident reason. The things that men happen to get in this life depend upon quite shifting accidents and conditions. But the things that they desire and dream of are always the same. -GK Chesterton

The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper. -Thomas Jefferson

"Cursed is every-one who places his hope in man." -St. Augustine

The bagel is a symbol of eastern privilege still in the United States. -Mr. Ace (my US Hist AP Teacher)

We eat doughnuts because in Mr. Ace's class we stick it to the man! -Ibid.

Otherwise I will be out patrolling the perimeter and hunting man-eating squirrels for they have tasted of human flesh and will not stop until killed. -Ibid.

Kill your third grade teacher! -Ibid

The World is full of lies. Its what's made me bitter and crazy. -Ibid

...and people who defy my rules I fail because I am God -Ibid

The best feeling in the world is sticking your smooth bayonet into the guts of an enemy of your country, preferably on a cold day when you can see them steam.

Let the Indians get the beaver.

Don't worry, 90% of what I teach up here is true; only 10% is made up on my car ride to work.

Any of your teachers ever take their teeth out besides me? Here, you can play with them.

I should be President of the United States
--I would challenge Sadaam Hussein to a duel

...and think of the things you could buy with that penny: mansions, cars, vacations, fuzzy slippers...

Your government is continually screwin' you over

And the Catch phrase: "Get out something to write on and something to write with and we will do some history by God! "

All by Mr. Ace, my Hist Teacher. (i couldn't resist writing some quotes from that deranged man)

"I'm the ghost with the most, baby!" - Beetlejuice

"Suppose you're wrong."
"There's no use supposing, we both know I'm right!"
-- from Lawrence of Arabia

"Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. So where does that leave God?"

"Suppose you're wrong."
"There's no use supposing, we both know I'm right!"
-- from Lawrence of Arabia

I love that movie!

"Suppose you're wrong."
"There's no use supposing, we both know I'm right!"
-- from Lawrence of Arabia

I love that movie!
Yeah, it's great, just watched it last night.

I love how little the movie seems to worry much about its viewers, what with the long black screens of music, and being long enough to have an intermission, etc. Makes it really feel like it's what someone wanted to show you.

"It doesn't matter what I say
So long as I sing with inflection
That makes you feel that I'll convey
Some inner truth of vast reflection
But I've said nothing so far
And I can keep it up for as long as it takes"

etc.

"Hook", Blues Traveler

better to hear it sung

"Are we not all alike, constantly talking and to no one, forever up against the same questions although we know the answers in advance? Then please tell me what happened to you one night on the quays of the Seine and how you managed never to risk your life. You yourself utter the words that for years have never ceased echoing through my nights and that I shall at last say through your mouth: 'O young woman, throw yourself into the water again so that I may a second time have the chance of saving both of us!' A second time, eh, what a risky suggestion? Just suppose, cher maître, that we should be taken literally? We’d have to go through with it. Brr . . .! The water’s so cold! But let’s not worry! It’s too late now. It will always be too late. Fortunately!"

-- from The Fall, by Albert Camus

Some quotes by some of our founding fathers and other US Presidents
"What was done with the seed saved from the India Hemp last summer? It ought, all of it, to have been sewn again; that not only a stock of seed sufficient for my own purposes might have been raised, but to have disseminated the seed to others; as it is more valuable than the common Hemp."
--Writings of Washington, Vol. 35, pg. 72

"May 12-13: Sowed Hemp at Muddy hole by Swamp. August 7: Began to separate the Male from the Female at Do - rather too late."
--Diary

"The greatest service which can be rendered any country is to add a useful plant to its culture."

"Prohibition...goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man's appetite by legislation and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes. A prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our government was founded."
--December, 1840

And one that's anti pot...
"Permanent brain damage is one of the inevitable results of the use of marijuana."--1974

(He must have been a heavy smoker huh?)

Some quotes by some of our founding fathers and other US Presidents
"What was done with the seed saved from the India Hemp last summer? It ought, all of it, to have been sewn again; that not only a stock of seed sufficient for my own purposes might have been raised, but to have disseminated the seed to others; as it is more valuable than the common Hemp."
--Writings of Washington, Vol. 35, pg. 72

"May 12-13: Sowed Hemp at Muddy hole by Swamp. August 7: Began to separate the Male from the Female at Do - rather too late."
--Diary

"The greatest service which can be rendered any country is to add a useful plant to its culture."

"Prohibition...goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man's appetite by legislation and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes. A prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our government was founded."
--December, 1840

And one that's anti pot...
"Permanent brain damage is one of the inevitable results of the use of marijuana."--1974

(He must have been a heavy smoker huh?)

Geaorge Washington was referring to the use of Hemp in sails, which is why it was grown back then. Jefferson is referring to making an American culture. Lincoln is referring to Alcohol.

You take these all out of context. Reagan's quote, is wrong. As far as I am aware the damage is mosty temporary stupidity and slowness of thought. But i was not aware of any permanent brain damage from pot.

and whatever you think of Reagan, he was quite intelligent. He was also a damn good politician. Don't call someone stupid because they disagree with you. Both Clinton and Reagan were intelligent, intelligence does not fit into a political ideology. "If one starts from a false premise, and then uses logic from that point on, one still arrives at the wrong conclusion"

"All your base are belong to us."

"You're cr... You're crazy man!" Will Ferrell(sp?) from Old School

'That particular month we had time to marinate in what 'us' meant'

(Alanis Morrisette - That Particular Time)

[quote="Didactylate States"]"God is Dead."-Friedrich Nietzche.

Posted on a bathroom stall...

"God is Dead." -Nietzche

Scribbled underneath....

"Nietzche is Dead." -God

Washington WASN'T referring to hemp for use in sails...
He specifically mentioned separating male and female plants... The ONLY
reason to separate them is to produce more potent plants. And potency has nothing to do with hemp quality. Only smoking quality.

I never said Lincoln was refering to anything else. But Prohibition of anything is still Prohibition.

I put Reagan's quote for some contrast.
While I didn't agree with all of Reagan's politics, I don't disagree that he was intelligent. On the contrary, he was a very bright man. He just (on this topic at least) spoke without any experience.

Ford:Travling thru hyperspace is uncomfortbly like being drunk.
Aurther: What's wrong with being drunk?
Ford: Ask a glass of water.

~Duh

Truth is a 3 edged sword, there side, your side, and the truth.

~Kosh B5

You know that buges the hell out of me when you do that right?

Yes.

~more B5

"Thunderbird 2 to Zero-X...I have been told to hand you a steer...."


MOOO :lol:

Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm
-crash test dummies

First Voice"Mayor Snorkum will lay the cake!
Second voice"What for the cake be layed By Snorkum?"
First Voice"He will Starch his mustach."
Second voice "That is night gab.How can he Starch a tepid Mouse"


:lol:
The Space Willes by Eric Frank Russell

First Voice"Mayor Snorkum will lay the cake!
Second voice"What for the cake be layed By Snorkum?"
First Voice"He will Starch his mustach."
Second voice "That is night gab.How can he Starch a tepid Mouse"


:lol:
The Space Willes by Eric Frank Russell

I have read this book to.....have to read it again :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

NEVAR!!!-Marathon :wink: