NationStates Jolt Archive

*more police cruisers appear and take up pursuit of the "Go-Kart" and the bubble-gum ice cream delivery truck*

Dr. Sizofren wakes up to notice he has broken his leg. He limps to the foam, and burns all of it.Ach, cannae ye not hear me laddie, I told ye already, the janitors already cleaned up your foam, all ye managed to burn was the landscaping.

Willie
UN Building Groundskeeper

I'd like to inform Dr. Sizofren that he can expect to recieve a bill from the UN Building Management to pay for the damage he caused to the landscaping around the UN building with the fire. And should he refuse to pay it, the nation of Havvy just might find itself on the World Heritage List (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/World_Heritage_List). (if it isn't there already)

John White
Vice President, Financial Security Department
UN Building Management

¹ OOC: Does UN Security fall under UN Building Mgmt or is that a seperate entity?
OOC: Let's just say that they're a division of UNBM's Maintence of Order Department.

*picks up a discarded "oversized novelty national rights klaxon" and shouts into it*

INCREASE THE RATE OF DEFENESTRATIONS! CHAIRS, TABLES, AMBASSADORS, HOLY OTAKU SHRINES, ANYTHING YOU CAN LAY YOUR HANDS ON! WE WILL USE THE DEBRIS TO ERECT A BARRICADE AND PROTECT THE BUILDING FROM THESE AUTOMOTIVE HOOLIGANS!

Your economy has imploded. The creativity of your workers is amply expressed by 14-year-old boys selling lemonade on the streets. Our economy is leading industry is information technology. We outrank you in civil rights, all economic indicators, and political freedoms.

We insist on your usage of the word "justice" as a misnomer. Justice is getting what you one deserves. You seem to confuse "getting what one deserves" with "getting what one needs". Working hard for something doesn't make one deserve it. Working hard does not make one contribute a great deal to society. One could, for instance, hit their head against the wall very, very hard. Noone would gain much from it, so the society would not benefit. It is those who use their ingenuity to compete with their neighbors by providing better products that improve society. And they deserve far more compensation than those who simply blindly follow their orders. We understand that. You do not. Enjoy the lemonade.

From what rag are you getting that sort of data? It doesn't correlate with reputable source I'm aware of.

On a side note, what's the UN's budget for census and statistics? Has there been a resolution about the census?

Has there been a resolution about the census?
Like we'd want the UN to do the census, if the UN did it, they'd only count the populations of UN members and, I don't know about you, but I want to know the population of the entire world, not just 1/3-1/4 of it.

Timothy Schmidt
Bob Flibble's PA

Working hard does not make one contribute a great deal to society. One could, for instance, hit their head against the wall very, very hard.

We find this comment to be very strange coming from an industrialized nation. With such a definition of work, it is no wonder that your national labor force is in utter disarray. Krioval would sooner turn to complete state-run enterprise than to fling open the doors to anarchy by so disregarding the people who have made our lands prosperous - our workers.

(Lord) Jevo Telovar
United Nations Ambassador
Republic of Krioval

Before you make a further fool of yourself, you may want to find out (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ariddian_economy) a little about our economy.

Indeed, justice is receiving what one needs. Unlike you, we are not inhumane enough to deny our people what they need to survive.

Our people work and contribute to society, freely expressing their talent, skill and creativity, leading happy, meaningful and fulfilling lives, bettering themselves and society, while your people live in abject misery, struggling to survive, helpless and hopeless, exhausted and exploited, unable to even think of improving society in any way.

When even capitalists view your system as a perverse caricature of capitalism, perhaps it's time to start wondering where you've gone wrong.

In the meantime, our people will continue to enjoy their lives, thankful that they were born in (or moved to) a civilised country, and we will welcome those fleeing the crushing oppression you inflict upon your own people.


Christelle Zyryanov,
Ambassador to the United Nations,
PDSRA


This will be my final post on this topic. I regard everything you say as a lie. You rob the best of your best citizens blind and openly disregard the education needs of population (we for instance spend 3.5 times as much as you do on education while having 1/10th the population:
http://nseconomy.thirdgeek.com/nseconomy.php?nation=Ariddia
vs
http://nseconomy.thirdgeek.com/nseconomy.php?nation=pythagorians).
We are a peaceful nation that believe in allowing people to prosper through the use of their mind and hard work. We will defend ourselves when the likes of you attack. We fully expect an attack from you despite your promotional material that says otherwise. All the statements we make have been verified by numeorous trully independent international institutions. All the statements you make are in contradiction to the research done by the same institutions.

Again, when you attack (as we fully expect you will) we will defend ourselves. Until then, enjoy the lemonade as even the poorest of our citizens enjoy better life than the wealthiest of yours. Adieu

We find this comment to be very strange coming from an industrialized nation. With such a definition of work, it is no wonder that your national labor force is in utter disarray. Krioval would sooner turn to complete state-run enterprise than to fling open the doors to anarchy by so disregarding the people who have made our lands prosperous - our workers.

(Lord) Jevo Telovar
United Nations Ambassador
Republic of Krioval

I fail to see how an example of what we say should not be done can considered as our "definition". But this sort of misrepresentation is not at all surpricing from any nation that talks of "state-run" enterprise. Anything "run" by anyone is slavery. Only exchange of goods and services between agreeing parties is freedom.

I fail to see how an example of what we say should not be done can considered as our "definition". But this sort of misrepresentation is not at all surpricing from any nation that talks of "state-run" enterprise. Anything "run" by anyone is slavery. Only exchange of goods and services between agreeing parties is freedom.

I find yours to be a curious little nation, with your feints and thrusts at imaginary opponents. I merely read your statement comparing intensive labor to bashing one's head on a wall. Certainly, there must be something to the eminent Lady Zyryanov's comments if you make such comparisons blithely and then pretend to have done no such thing. If anything, I am now far more interesting in the Ariddian economic structure than yours, despite ours likely being more similar. I shall have to contact Her Excellency and arrange an appointment for discussion.

With regard to freedom versus slavery, freedom is in conferring the ability of the weak to become strong through their labors, not in confining entire sectors of the population to "their place" by way of rigid economic barriers. By your own admission, your nation deliberately sets upon those with the fewest resources. If you consider such actions to be those of a free and civilized people, then I believe that your society need look for its foes not abroad, but in its halls of power.

Good evening to you.

(Lord) Jevo Telovar
United Nations Ambassador
Republic of Krioval

This will be my final post on this topic. I regard everything you say as a lie. You rob the best of your best citizens blind and openly disregard the education needs of population (we for instance spend 3.5 times as much as you do on education while having 1/10th the population:
http://nseconomy.thirdgeek.com/nseconomy.php?nation=Ariddia
vs
http://nseconomy.thirdgeek.com/nseconomy.php?nation=pythagorians).
Dude... quit waving your e-penis around or I'll bust out my stats (http://nseconomy.thirdgeek.com/nseconomy.php?nation=the+most+glorious+hack) and give you a complex, okay?

*picks up a discarded "oversized novelty national rights klaxon" and shouts into it*

INCREASE THE RATE OF DEFENESTRATIONS! CHAIRS, TABLES, AMBASSADORS, HOLY OTAKU SHRINES, ANYTHING YOU CAN LAY YOUR HANDS ON! WE WILL USE THE DEBRIS TO ERECT A BARRICADE AND PROTECT THE BUILDING FROM THESE AUTOMOTIVE HOOLIGANS!

"Oh, wow! Barricades!"

All Dicey's student-activist dreams have come true. Pausing only to bare one breast and don a red Phrygian cap, she fixes a banner to a pike and adopts a suitably heroic pose atop the structure.

"Vive la France!"

"I would have thought 'Apres moi, le deluge' more appropriate," mutters Bast, who has noticed the gathering UN Building Management security detail with their (one hopes, low-pressure) hoses.

Nonetheless, he helpfully lugs the General Secretary's polished walnut podium towards the growing pile.

There is plenty of space for a human-sized Cat below it.

This will be my final post on this topic. I regard everything you say as a lie. You rob the best of your best citizens blind and openly disregard the education needs of population (we for instance spend 3.5 times as much as you do on education while having 1/10th the population:
http://nseconomy.thirdgeek.com/nseconomy.php?nation=Ariddia
vs
http://nseconomy.thirdgeek.com/nseconomy.php?nation=pythagorians).

And we (http://www.nseconomy.thirdgeek.com/nseconomy.php?nation=Flibbleites) spend almost eight times as much on education as you do. What's your point?

Timothy Schmidt
Bob Flibble's PA

I find yours to be a curious little nation, with your feints and thrusts at imaginary opponents. I merely read your statement comparing intensive labor to bashing one's head on a wall. Certainly, there must be something to the eminent Lady Zyryanov's comments if you make such comparisons blithely and then pretend to have done no such thing. If anything, I am now far more interesting in the Ariddian economic structure than yours, despite ours likely being more similar. I shall have to contact Her Excellency and arrange an appointment for discussion.

With regard to freedom versus slavery, freedom is in conferring the ability of the weak to become strong through their labors, not in confining entire sectors of the population to "their place" by way of rigid economic barriers. By your own admission, your nation deliberately sets upon those with the fewest resources. If you consider such actions to be those of a free and civilized people, then I believe that your society need look for its foes not abroad, but in its halls of power.

Good evening to you.

(Lord) Jevo Telovar
United Nations Ambassador
Republic of Krioval

Anyone calling himself "Lord" is nothing like us. But that's an amusing personal attack. A "nation" as such is an illusion. Any serious student of history will tell you that nationhood is always composed of two ingredients -- a legend and a numbers of occurances of individuals sacrificing their lives to protect the said nation.

We believe that as a nation we have come together to protect the rights and freedoms of individuals. Among these rights is a right to property. We don't create any barriers. On the contrary, we make sure that people at all strata's of our society get the best education they possibly can. We believe this is the way to let people develop their talents. We don't believe that regulating exchange of property between individuals is any of government's business.

We have a great deal of social mobility in our society as those who are talented freely rise and well... the fools and their money never stay together very long. We never said or done anything to confine anyone to "their place". This simply isn't the government's job. Our new policy of taxing those who are getting unfairly compensated by minimal wage is simply to correct the injustice taking the money from the rich without their consent and giving to the poor who didn't earn it.

Social egalitarianism has always proven to result in the rule of beauracrats. The greatest of societies endow their citizens with all the knowledge of civilizations past and present and allow them take their own stake in the world of production. Government cannot create financial resources because it is ran not by the brightest of people but always by the most vicious -- those who can take but don't know how to create. These resources are created as a result of hungry enterpreneurs trying to increase their net worth. They don't care what social class their protegees come from. They only care if they are smart enough to make them money. This has the effect of channelling the money towards the most talented in the most natural way.

The only reason we are not so far rated as "freightening" in our economic indicators is that we are willing to forgo some economic growth for the sake of preserving the gifts of our non-renewable environmental resources for the posterity.

Dude... quit waving your e-penis around or I'll bust out my stats (http://nseconomy.thirdgeek.com/nseconomy.php?nation=the+most+glorious+hack) and give you a complex, okay?

:) Certainly, you cannot expect us to attempt to compete with those who instead of working to build their lives live them by tapping directly into the will of God.

This will be my final post on this topic. I regard everything you say as a lie. You rob the best of your best citizens blind and openly disregard the education needs of population (we for instance spend 3.5 times as much as you do on education while having 1/10th the population:
http://nseconomy.thirdgeek.com/nseconomy.php?nation=Ariddia
vs
http://nseconomy.thirdgeek.com/nseconomy.php?nation=pythagorians).

OOC: Since you don't seem to get this, I'll spell it out plainly. Statwank isn't looked upon kindly around here. Especially after I've provided a link explaining how Ariddia's economy works, which makes that statistic meaningless. A moneyless economy has no educational budget, because it has no need for one. Those statistics are generated automatically as an indicator to those who want to use them, but in this specific case they quite simply cannot apply to Ariddia's economy.


IC:

We will defend ourselves when the likes of you attack. We fully expect an attack from you despite your promotional material that says otherwise.

Zyryanov began to laugh again, unable to stop herself. The idea of Ariddia launching an unprovoked attack, especially on such an insignificant nation, was so ludicrous that she felt no need to reply.

Still, it would be amusing to see Pythagorians go to high alert and start preparing for an invasion which existed only in their leaders' paranoid imagination. Perhaps PINA (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Public_International_News_Ariddia) could report on the preparations, for the amusement of the Ariddian public.

(OOC: Incidentally, the NSwiki isn't "promotional material". It has NPOV standards and its purpose is to record fact.)


All the statements we make have been verified by numeorous trully independent international institutions. All the statements you make are in contradiction to the research done by the same institutions.


"Then I suggest you fire the head of your Propaganda Bureau," she advised mildly. "Or whoever it is who's been telling you such rubbish.


Again, when you attack (as we fully expect you will) we will defend ourselves.

"Is there some sort of award we could give this guy? I mean, really... He should be in a mental institution, not the United Nations GA." She paused. "Assuming there's a difference, of course..."


Certainly, there must be something to the eminent Lady Zyryanov's comments if you make such comparisons blithely and then pretend to have done no such thing. If anything, I am now far more interesting in the Ariddian economic structure than yours, despite ours likely being more similar. I shall have to contact Her Excellency and arrange an appointment for discussion.


"I would be pleased to discuss our economic structure with you, Lord Telovar. At your conveniance. Perhaps in the Strangers' Bar?"


"I would have thought 'Apres moi, le deluge' more appropriate," mutters Bast, who has noticed the gathering UN Building Management security detail with their (one hopes, low-pressure) hoses.


OOC: :D

Christelle Zyryanov,
Ambassador to the United Nations,
PDSRA

*shouts up at the GA*

"Would someone please throw this fool out the window? He has been defenestrated once by me but seems to have recovered. I would do it myself, but I'm busy dueling".

Sheik Nadnerb bin Cluich smiles wrly and, in a rare display of his power, merely waves his hand in the direction of the Pythagorian representative, sending him flying through the nearest window.

I do wish you lot would shout 'fore' or something before you defenestrate someone. Had the representative from somesmallplaceiveneverheardof only miss me by a micrometre.


Oh, right.

FORE!

Sheik Nadnerb bin Cluich smiles wrly and, in a rare display of his power, merely waves his hand in the direction of the Pythagorian representative, sending him flying through the nearest window.
*Felix watches as the Pythagorian representative travels in a graceful parabolic arc out over the car park. Suddenly, a flying saucer piloted by Lee Harvey Oswald and Sasquatch appears. The Pythagorian representative is caught in a tractor beam and sucked into the bowels of the craft, never to be seen again.*

"Good".

*Felix smiles and waits for Mr. Ólafsson to return fire*

*Having quietly observed the defenestrations Mr. Ólafsson tightens his grip around the pistol handle.*
I say Sir, are you ready to meet your maker?
*Mr. Ólafsson fires. The bullet flies by Felix's ear and hits a titanium lamppost behind him. Unfortunately the bullet ricochets and hits the old statue of one of the founders of the UN; Taf Drater Dratsab*
http://www.enduringvision.com/archives/ugly_man.jpg
*The face of the statue is completely destroyed*
Oops....
*Mr. Ólafsson starts blushing, but stops and regains his pride when he hears the mumbles of the UN ambassadors*
(UN ambassador1: Man that was an ugly face
UN ambassador 2: Thank God someone removed it, it was starting to scare the children. Think of the children...!)

Iron Felix and Mr Kenny are invited to indulge in as much of my National currency as they can stand. It is readily apparent that they disdain any efforts or vocalization of dissent from their enlightened? views. It reminds me of the Shrubery ruining, I mean running the United States. Of course this narrow self-indulgence is contrary to the specifics of what was once known as the Bill of Rights whereby Democracy is made great upon the measure of dissent allowed by the majority.

Oh well, I shall return to my Humble Region and await the next opportunity for Mr Felix and Mr Kenny to advise me on my next Delegational responsibility.

Kisses Sweetie

Mikeswill

Hasn't this thread run it's course yet?

Good gad, sir! What kind of bounder would interrupt a duel?

"I would be pleased to discuss our economic structure with you, Lord Telovar. At your conveniance. Perhaps in the Strangers' Bar?"

Christelle Zyryanov,
Ambassador to the United Nations,
PDSRA

That sounds like an incredibly good idea, given this chamber's current atmosphere.

~ Jevo Telovar

Hasn't this thread run it's course yet?

Ardchoilleans;12005899']Good gad, sir! What kind of bounder would interrupt a duel?

Not to mention the defenestrations and the car chase.

Anyone calling himself "Lord" is nothing like us.

Dear heavens. I should thank you first and foremost for your compliment, though I should also explain that most everybody in the Republic has a "Lord" or "Lady" attached to his or her name, respectively, especially when the names appear in print. This is done to eliminate doubts about the individual's gender identity. Some representatives may not realize that the name "Jevo" is traditional for males in Krioval, while something like "Jiro" is far more feminine.

But that's an amusing personal attack. A "nation" as such is an illusion. Any serious student of history will tell you that nationhood is always composed of two ingredients -- a legend and a numbers of occurances of individuals sacrificing their lives to protect the said nation.

It is really too bad that your idealized worldview does not hold up upon viewing the history of our nation. There is nothing particularly legendary about Krioval's coalescence - a semi-barbaric leader united several warring city-states five centuries ago. The predominant pantheon that is revered in Krioval today is a recent one to emerge. No leader was particularly self-sacrificial, but instead labored under the directive to gain strength and knowledge.

We believe that as a nation we have come together to protect the rights and freedoms of individuals. Among these rights is a right to property. We don't create any barriers. On the contrary, we make sure that people at all strata's of our society get the best education they possibly can. We believe this is the way to let people develop their talents. We don't believe that regulating exchange of property between individuals is any of government's business.

Except, apparently, for taxing those least able to pay. How are those individuals being protected by your government?

(Lord) Jevo Telovar
United Nations Ambassador
Republic of Krioval

*Mr. Ólafsson fires.
As he faces the possibility of his imminent death, Felix ponders many things, his life as a revolutionary, his first career as founder of the Cheka, his recent career as UN diplomat and Defenestrationist, but foremost in his mind....
The bullet flies by Felix's ear and hits a titanium lamppost behind him.
....is the troubling thought that he left the burner on under a pan of borscht this morning.
Unfortunately the bullet ricochets and hits the old statue of one of the founders of the UN; Taf Drater Dratsab*
http://www.enduringvision.com/archives/ugly_man.jpg
*The face of the statue is completely destroyed*
*mumbles "better you than me, Taf"*

Quickly! Topple that statue and add it to the barricade!


*turns to Sir Cyril*

Both my foe and I have fired upon each other without success. Shall Lord von Steierburg and yourself replace us?

Iron Felix and Mr Kenny are invited to indulge in as much of my National currency as they can stand. It is readily apparent that they disdain any efforts or vocalization of dissent from their enlightened? views. It reminds me of the Shrubery ruining, I mean running the United States. Of course this narrow self-indulgence is contrary to the specifics of what was once known as the Bill of Rights whereby Democracy is made great upon the measure of dissent allowed by the majority.

Oh well, I shall return to my Humble Region and await the next opportunity for Mr Felix and Mr Kenny to advise me on my next Delegational responsibility.

Kisses Sweetie

Mikeswill

OOC: I hope you haven't taken real offense at Felix's antics. It's all in good fun and anything my characters do or say should be taken with several grains of salt.

IC: Here, have some Fine Yeldan Cheeses™.

*hands the representative from Mikeswill a gift box of Fine Yeldan Cheeses™*

Hasn't this thread run it's course yet?
Certainly not! I haven't introduced the 900 ft. tall robotic Chairman Diřgę yet!

Ardchoilleans;12005899']Good gad, sir! What kind of bounder would interrupt a duel?
Indeed.

Mecha-Diřgę? :eek:

Iron Felix and Mr Kenny are invited to indulge in as much of my National currency as they can stand. It is readily apparent that they disdain any efforts or vocalization of dissent from their enlightened? views. It reminds me of the Shrubery ruining, I mean running the United States. Of course this narrow self-indulgence is contrary to the specifics of what was once known as the Bill of Rights whereby Democracy is made great upon the measure of dissent allowed by the majority.

Oh well, I shall return to my Humble Region and await the next opportunity for Mr Felix and Mr Kenny to advise me on my next Delegational responsibility.

Kisses SweetieDude, all I did was offer to defenestrate you. If you don't like my generous offer, you can defenestrate yourself for all I care. I'm out.

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b106/Yelda/mao-glowing.jpg
Far off in the distance, a thump - thump - thumping can be heard. The sound grows louder and louder until there appears looming over the UN complex The Mecha-Diřgę! Towering 900 ft. over the surrounding landscape, Mecha-Diřgę is a fully mobile mechanical likeness of Chairman Diřgę of the Yeldan Workers Party. The latest creation of Yelda Ship Works (http://www.geocities.com/yeldashipworks/), Mecha-Diřgę has been called a "terror-weapon" by some, a "contraption" by others. Inside the control room is Yeldan Foreign Minister Quynn Olver, come to save Felix (and the UN).

Mecha-Diřgę picks up a bus and throws it in front of the UNBM patrol cars, cutting off their pursuit of Mickey Special, the "go-cart" and the bubble-gum ice cream delivery truck, and then begins to climb the building.....

Well... *blink... blink...*

You don't see that every day...

Dicey, all too well aware of what happens to semi-nude females when large objects with misplaced sex drives begin to climb buildings, swiftly reconfigures her attire.

She is now clad in a 1900s neck-to-knee swimsuit, with modesty skirt, frilly hat and plimsolls. Red, though, just in case there is still a need to woman the barricades.

Besides, there's always a chance the Red Baron might appear (should bi-planes buzz the mecha-chair) and Dicey has a soft spot in her heart for that legendary hero.

*turns to Sir Cyril*

Both my foe and I have fired upon each other without success. Shall Lord von Steierburg and yourself replace us?

That is usually the form, Comrade Felix.

*takes the pistol and stands forty paces in front of Lord von Steierburg. He begins to move one pace at a time in time with and towards him. Suddenly, he fires*

BANG!

*the bullet exits the gun, and the world goes into magic matrix time. The bullet appears to he heading straight for Steirburgs hand, but*

Ping!

*it ricochet's off one of Steierburg's cufflinks, bouncing off at an interesting angle then*

Crash!

*as the bullet plows into a pile of metal dustbins, bounces up then*

Poof!

*as it collides into an unimportant part of the Mecha-Diřgę, followed by*

Clutter clutter!

*as Sir Cyril drops the pistol having just spotted a Mecha-Diřgę looming over him*

Cough! Erm, your shot, Von Steierburg

A hush falls over the crowd as the Mecha-Diřgę attains the summit of the UN Building and stands erect to it's full height. For several seconds there is complete silence, interrupted only by the occasional birdsong and the groans of the recently defenestrated. After what seems like an eternity, steam begins to pour forth from the nostrils and ears of the Mecha-Diřgę and it's eyes glow a hellish red like the fires of Hades. Slowly, it opens it's mouth...and emits a sound reminiscent of 10,000³ foghorns played through Pink Floyd's PA system. Windows shatter. Lampposts sway. Pavement buckles. Et Cetera.

Then all is silent again, except for the hiss of steam and the sound of hundreds of thousands of Robotic Destructor Bunnies pouring forth from the mouth of the Mecha-Diřgę and slowly engulfing the building from top to bottom.

*at this point Felix calls an impromptu news conference*

Thank you. If I may have a moment of your time, I have a pair of announcements to make.

Firstly, it gives me great pleasure to announce that The People's Democratic Republic of Yelda will be providing a replacement for the recently destroyed statue of Taf Drater Dratsab. The work, entitled My Struggles Amongst The Feral Babies Of Glog by noted Yeldan sculptor Yœthe Gørr is currently in transit and will be placed at the earliest possible convenience. Here, for your enjoyment, is an image of Comrade Gørr's masterpiece:

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b106/Yelda/babyfight.jpg

Awe inspiring, is it not?

Secondly, I am pleased to announce that Yeldan forces are in the process of securing the building. We have deployed 476,009 Robotic Destructor Bunnies which are even as we speak ensuring public safety, restoring order, winning hearts and minds..and so on and so forth. These fully autonomous units pose no threat to you, my colleagues and compatriots and should finish their work of rousting from the UN complex all miscreants, hooligans and subversives shortly.

Um...sadly, as with all military operations, mistakes are made. This unfortunate incident was captured by amateur video in the offices of the Norderian delegation:

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b106/Yelda/attackbunnies.gif

We offer our apologies and wish the ambassador a speedy recovery.

Now, I will be able to entertain a few questions if you have any, before returning to my dueling and defenestrating.

OoC: WTF is that statue?

By the way, just for the statwanker:

Ariddia is ranked 2nd in the region and 1,145th in the world for Smartest Citizens.

Pythagorians is ranked 19th in the region and 15,127th in the world for Smartest Citizens.

I believe that is the sound of pwnage.

*snickers*

You really told him. :rolleyes:

A hush falls over the crowd as the Mecha-Diřgę attains the summit of the UN Building and stands erect to it's full height.Felix! Stop that! This is not an X-rated forum.

Think of the children!

(Meeting the mandatory requirement that this be uttered at least once per debate...)

OoC: WTF is that statue?
OOC: It is a work by Norwegian sculptor Gustav Vigeland. Sadly, I'm not sure what the sculpture's real name is.

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b106/Yelda/DSC_6108FokkerDr1replicarightrearin.jpg

A red Fokker Dr.I triplane ascends from the clouds in a graceful barrel roll. At an altitude of 100 feet, it levels off and buzzes the barricade. The pilot, Baron Manfred Albrecht Freiherr von Richthofen, waves gallantly at Dicey Riley, kicks the aircraft into a sharp right-hand bank and joins in the fray.

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b106/Yelda/DSC_6108FokkerDr1replicarightrearin.jpg

A red Fokker Dr.I triplane ascends from the clouds in a graceful barrel roll. At an altitude of 100 feet, it levels off and buzzes the barricade. The pilot, Baron Manfred Albrecht Freiherr von Richthofen, waves gallantly at Dicey Riley, kicks the aircraft into a sharp right-hand bank and joins in the fray.

Gazing out the spacious window of his office, Prince Tang spots the aircraft buzzing the building, and smiles.

"Rang! Come here."

Rang Erman, the advisor to the delegation, enters the room, looks out the window, and gasps.

"Good god! Won't the weapons DEFCON built on the roof do something?"

Tang smiled. "They didn't take out that gigantic communist robot, so they must not be working."

"I'll put in a call to Sheik Nadnerb. We need to get those guns up and working!"

"Very good. Enjoy the show. Some woman was exposing herself earlier."

Erman pulled one of the braids his beard was twisted into.

"Hot."

Gazing out the spacious window of his office, Prince Tang spots the aircraft buzzing the building, and smiles.

"Rang! Come here."

Rang Erman, the advisor to the delegation, enters the room, looks out the window, and gasps.

"Good god! Won't the weapons DEFCON built on the roof do something?"

Tang smiled. "They didn't take out that gigantic communist robot, so they must not be working."

"I'll put in a call to Sheik Nadnerb. We need to get those guns up and working!"


Sheik Nadnerb holds his finger to his ear so that he can here his communicator over the chaos in the General Assembly chamber.

Yes, I'm well aware that our weapons didn't fire on the robot or the bi-plane. They're on standing orders not to fire on anything attacking UN headquarters, unless I specifically override those orders. I didn't feel these attacks warranted a response. If the Norderian ambassador shows up again, though, that'll be another story...

The work, entitled My Struggles Amongst The Feral Babies Of Glog by noted Yeldan sculptor Yœthe Gørr is currently in transit and will be placed at the earliest possible convenience. Here, for your enjoyment, is an image of Comrade Gørr's masterpiece. Awe inspiring, is it not?

Ambassador Zyryanov stares. Then blinks. Then stares again. And rubs her eyes.

"This will stand outside the United Nations? Well, it's... appropriate."


OOC: Best post EVAH! http://www.clieuk.co.uk/forum/images/smilies/laughing.gif

By the way, just for the statwanker:

Ariddia is ranked 2nd in the region and 1,145th in the world for Smartest Citizens.

Pythagorians is ranked 19th in the region and 15,127th in the world for Smartest Citizens.

I believe that is the sound of pwnage.

HotRodia is ranked 7th in the region and 616th in the world for Smartest Citizens.

For some reason I'm not hearing this sound. Yay for demonstrating the silliness of statwank (again, and again)!

<snip>The pilot, Baron Manfred Albrecht Freiherr von Richthofen, waves gallantly at Dicey Riley, kicks the aircraft into a sharp right-hand bank and joins in the fray.

Gasping with surprise and dewy-eyed with joy, Dicey hesitates a moment: should she morph into a biplane herself and buzz teasingly around her girlhood idol? Or should she respond demurely, hoping to tempt the dashing pilot into a more down-to-earth approach?

Opting for the latter, she decks herself in the Edwardian splendour of a costume suitable for viewing aerial ascents, jolly good shows and the like. Hand-made, high-heeled, cream leather button-up ankle-boots, a cream wool hobble skirt, an intricately-tailored matching jacket with godets, darts, contrast silk piping and tucks galore, a frou-frou of lace at the neck and wrists and a truly delightful hat, with pigeon-wings, bluebells, roses, daisies and a voluminous net fascinator.

Briefly, Dicey wishes she had paid more attention during that semester on sartorial spellmaking. But let her once get the Red Baron in her sights and she won't have to worry about her clothes -- not for long, anyway.

HotRodia is ranked 7th in the region and 616th in the world for Smartest Citizens.

For some reason I'm not hearing this sound. Yay for demonstrating the silliness of statwank (again, and again)!"Omigodtheykilledkenny is ranked 64th in the region and 96,641st in the world for Smartest Citizens."

Do I win?

"Omigodtheykilledkenny is ranked 64th in the region and 96,641st in the world for Smartest Citizens."

Do I win?Yes. You win this shiny bauble. Look at it shine!

A doorway opens in the heel of the Mecha-Diřgę's left boot and out steps Yeldan foreign minister Quynn Olver, followed by Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, Eleanor Roosevelt and Marlon Brando. The foreign minister produces a device resembling a tv remote, clicks a button on it, and he and the others begin to step away from the Mecha-Diřgę.

Mecha-Diřgę shudders, and begins making noises that one would expect to hear if really big, heavy things were moving in ways that were completely unnatural and, well...wrong. Mecha-Diřgę folds in upon itself and in a mater of seconds, collapses from it's original height of 900 ft. to approximately four inches. It now resembles a rather ordinary (and harmless) Chairman Diřgę action figure.

The foreign minister walks over, picks up the Mini-Diřgę and places it in his jacket pocket. He adjusts his tie and he and his party enter the UN building through a roof service entrance.

(OOC: At what point are passed resolution threads closed? Only after all possible entertainment value has been reached? Or after all possible defenestrations have occurred? Just wondering...if you all are waiting on me to defenestrate someone, I'll gladly oblige!)

Usually, they don't need to be locked; they sink by themselves. They get locked if they need it, but this has (sort of) role play in it, so... no harm. Now that something's at vote, I'm sure this will go away.

(OOC: At what point are passed resolution threads closed? Only after all possible entertainment value has been reached? Or after all possible defenestrations have occurred?
OOC: It will die when it dies, or Hack or Fris get tired of reading this God-awful wank and decide to lock it. Hopefully not until honor is seen to have been served in the duel and Dicey gets to meet Baron von Richthofen. What I'm most interested in is who will write the wiki article. :D
Just wondering...if you all are waiting on me to defenestrate someone, I'll gladly oblige!)
IC: There goes the Bubabaluian ambassador! Seize him!

Caught up in the enthusiasm of the moment, Ambassador Langdon seizes the Bubabaluian delegate and gleefully throws him out the window!

However, given that she has never tried to defenestrate anyone before, she misses slightly, and the aformentioned Ambassador meets head first with the wall, next to the window.

Ambassador Langdon mutters a brief apology, and mentally notes that the Bubabaluian delegation will probably NOT be attending her open house the following week, before leaving the GA floor.

"So that's defensiwhasis?"

Grand Utoy Stewey looks down at the poor Bubabaluian Ambassador, and then Ambassador Langdon.

"I think I'll pass on this occuring to myself if possible..."

Sir Cyril, upon observing the arrival of the Red Baron's Fokker Dreidecker, begins to mutter to himself, walks briskly over to a telephone box shaped like Semyon Budyonny and places a short call, but not before picking up the revolver he left on the floor.

After a five minute call, he exits the telephone cossack, and turns to Comrade Felix

"I hope this won't cause an undue strain on our diplomatic relations, but in the interests of attempting to reattain some sort of decorum, I have asked the Gubernatorial Air Force to send over their bravest and most fearless fighter ace. Ah, hear he is now"


Over the horizon appears the Cobdenian Ace in all his splendour


http://www.loyolaprep.org/sports/snoopy%20on%20doghouse.jpg

OOC: LOL! Y'know, Cobdenia, I was gonna post something very similar, but Snoopy doesn't really jive with a nation that has a Death Star.

"I hope this won't cause an undue strain on our diplomatic relations
Not at all, Sir Cyril. As we duel with our gallant foes here on the Field Of Honour, is it not also fitting that these gentlemen duel in the skies above us?

An agent of the Maintence of Order Department runs into Patrick O'Neil's office. "Chief! We've got a situtation that's gotten out of hand!"

"What is it this time agent Smart? Have the Cluichistanis beheaded another person?"

"No."

"Did one of the dogfighting planes crash into the building?"

"No, it's..."

"Are the mutants in the basement rioting again?"

"No."

"Then what is the problem?"

"Would you believe that billions of mechanical bunnies are going on a rampage throughout the building?"

"I find that hard to believe."

"Would you believe millions?"

"No."

"How about 476,009?"

"Will you get to the point!"

"Well you know that giant robot that climbed the building?"

"Know about it? Hell, Scotty is going to kill me for not preventing it from climbing up the side of the building. Just look at the damage it did to the side of the building."

"That's the one, apparently the bunnies were hidden in a compartment of the robot. They've already attacked a member of the Norderian delegation, and our weapons seem to be having little effect on them."

"All right, I'll call in a specialist." O'Neil picks up his phone and dials. "Hello, this is Patrick O'Neil over at the UN Building. We are in need of your services. You will, thank you. We'll see you soon, thank you again Mr. Fudd.

... We'll see you soon, thank you again Mr. Fudd.
OOC: OMG! They'll be Elmerinated!

OCC- But they're soooooo cute. ROFL

OOC: You know if I remember correctly, Elmer Fudd didn't have much success as a wabbit hunter. The widdle wascal always got away.

Looking out the window, Stew ponders what will happen next...

We have bi-planes, a giant Mechathinging, automated defense bunnies and people being thrown out the windows...

"I'm starting to wonder if I shouldn't have sent an Ambassador here... rather than coming myself..."

Snoopy spies the Red Baron at 4 o'clock high, and slowly, but surely, manouevers his Sopwith Kennel above his foe in order to attain maximum striking power. The, deftly, he executes a daring barrel roll, bringing him dead in front of his foe. The speed towards one another in an aerial game of chicken, each waiting for the other to get in range - The Red Baron with his twin Spandau's with a range of around 2,000 yards, Snoopy with his twin Vickers guns with a mere 1,500 yards. Yet the Vickers had a superior rate of fire, at 600 rounds a minute, compared to the Spandaus 350 rounds a minute, so in a dog fight the two weapons would be more then evenly matched. This was going through Snoopy's mind, when a short burst erupted from the Dreidecker. Quickly and expertly, Snoopy pulled back the stick and shot upwards into the sky, levelled out, executed a half forward roll to invert his aircraft, and then pulled again on his stick, sending him plummetting upside dwon towards the ground. He continued pulling back on the stick, until he was underneath and behind the Red Baron, and back the right way up. Yet he continued to pull back, and using the speed he had gained during his dive, he soon had the Fokkers underside in his sights and was gaining. Then, when he was in range, he fired at the unprotected underbelly of the Fokker, performed an inverted Immelman roll, and got the sun behind him for his next attack..

Realising that his aircraft is damaged by the burst from Snoopy's Vickers guns, von Richthofen knows that he must lose altitude while somehow getting behind and above the Sopwith Kennel. The Englishman tries to catch up to him from the rear while von Richthofen turns tightly to get behind him. They circle round and round like madmen after one another at an altitude of about 10,000 feet.

First they circle twenty times to the left, and then thirty times to the right. Each trying to get behind and above the other. Von Richthofen soon discovers that he is not fighting a beginner. Snoopy had not the slightest intention of breaking off the fight. He was traveling in a machine which turned beautifully. However, von Richthofen's is better at climbing and he succeeds at last in getting above and beyond his English waltzing partner.

On the ground, the spectators ooh and aah as the circling and chasing descends down through 6000 feet, then 5000, then 4000. The circles which they make around one another are so narrow that their diameter is probably no more than 250 or 300 feet. At about 3,000 feet Snoopy merrily waves to the Baron as if to say, "Well, how do you do?" Finally, the Baron gains the advantage and fires a burst from his Spandau's into the tail of the Sopwith...

Grand Utoy Stewey watches amazed out the window.

Fascinating... I never thought that stepping out the borders of my Nation would be this... interesting... But I wonder where thos bunnies went to...

Snoopy, upon hearing the staccato fire of the Spandau through the interruptor gear, made a sudden right hand upward corkscrew. Upon feeling the aircrafts sluggishness, Snoopy lifted his flying goggles and looked around, and spied the wrecked tail. He lifted a clenched fist, and was about to shout when suddenly he saw the Red Baron was back on his tail. He quickly adjusted his goggles and started a complex scissor manouever to attempt to get behind him, but the superior climbing ability if the Fokker made it a somewhat fruitless task. His only chance lay in a daring manouever.

Suddenly, Snoopy grabbed the stick with both hands, and, by shifting his bodyweight, he managed to somewhat alleviate the damage caused to his rudder. He dived suddenly, scraping the tops of trees and knocking the top hats off a couple of passing Ambassadors, pointed his Sopwith Kennel straight at the UN building and slowly rose. He fired a few shots at a 13th Floor window, shattering the glass, and went straight in through the Stranger's Bar, landed his flying machine on the bar counter, got out and ordered a Root Beer and a lot of petrol.

He refilled his Sopwith with the Root beer, drank the petrol, then realised his mistake and tried it the other way around. He then set about stealing all the beer mats and collecting the chewing gum from under the seats, and managed to patch up the tail. Then, using a couple of empty wine bottles as chocks, he managed to take off again, flying back out the window, ready to engage his foe...

Having lost sight of his foe, the Baron circles the building, waiting for the Sopwith Kennel to reappear. Suddenly, the Kennel literally explodes from the side of the UN building, banks left, and begins to climb rapidly.

At this point, the Fokker is also quite low on fuel. The Baron thinks he knows what the cunning beagle has just done, but is unsure if the Dreidecker will fit inside the bar. He opts for a different strategy.

Approaching the UN Building at just about stall speed, the Barron lands the Fokker on the roof, bringing it to a stop with just inches to spare. He climbs down from his machine and spies a group of bored looking Robotic Destructor Bunnies. He walks over to them and says: "Guten Tag, meine kaninchen. Would you mind watching my aeroplane while I attempt to requisition some fuel?" He flips them a shiny 5 mark piece and heads for the Strangers Bar to find alcohol. For fueling and for drinking.

OOC: We can assume that while the Sopwith Kennel has a smaller fuel capacity than the Fokker, it also (since it is lighter) has better fuel economy. Snoopy will still have an ample supply of fuel left when the Baron finishes refueling.

Having acquired a supply of petrol and pure grain alcohol from the Strangers Bar, The Baron returns to his aeroplane and, assisted by the Destructor Bunnies, begins fueling. Once fueling is complete, the bunnies turn the Fokker into the wind. Two of the bunnies then lay down in front of the wheels to act as chocks.

It takes several attempts for the bunnies to spin the prop, but finally by standing 6 atop one another, they are able to do it. The Baron advances the throttle, the "chock-bunnies" move out of the way, and the Dreidecker races across the roof of the UN Building, becoming airborne with room to spare. The Baron begins climbing immediately, scanning the sky for his opponent...

Her heart in her mouth, Dicey watches the aerial duel. Of course she wants the dashing Red Baron to win ... but, ah, the plucky little Cobdenian, battling not only his opponent but also his technology ... it's too much. Let the Gods of War cast their dice. She will adjourn to the Strangers' Bar and await the outcome, a bottle of Ardchoillean Old'n'Funky and two glasses on the counter before her, while The Little Sparrow sobs Plaisirs d'Amour in the background ...

Besides, she's getting a crick in her neck. And Neville's got a message for her, though, of course, narrative integrity demands that she remain ignorant of that fact. Plus, there's the business with the bunnies.

Dicey's colourful image fades to grey ...ish.

High above, Snoopy sights the Red Triplane, and goes to engage. He fires a few shots, but misses. 'Remember the Dicta Boelcke...remember the Dicta Boelcke...don't fire unless in range and he's in your sights...'. He contines to climb, but the accursed Freiherr remained out of range. Suddenly, his foe dives, and attempts to get behind him, forcing Snoopy to execute a horizontal vrille to attempt to loose him, but to no avail. With von Richtohofen still behind him, Snoopy quickly and expertly pulled back on the stick, forced the rudder right, centred the stick, fired at the opponent now below him and then quickly pulled the stick back again - a perfect renversement. Snoopy chuckled to himself "I bet old Immelman couldn't have done that more brilliantly!". He looked up and saw pieces of fabric flapping off from the top of one of the Fokker's wings. 'Curse! Only light damage!' thought Snoopy. Suddenly, his thoughts became muddled 'Oh God! I can't remember anything! Think, Snoopy, think. Dictated Balls? No, thats not it. What's it called? Doesn't matter. What does it say?...erm...blast...erm... Beer before wine and you'll be fine, wine before beer you have much to fear? No. Er...Don't chew gum on parade...nope....erm...I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision...not that either...BLAST!'....

Seeing his opportunity, von Richthofen rolls the Fokker and comes around behind the Sopwith Kennel. Once the Kennel is in his sights, he begins to squeeeze the trigger....then stops. Something is wrong. His honorable foe is taking no evasive action! The Baron follows Snoopy, waiting for him to make a defensive maneuver. Instead, the Cobdenian aviator continues on his path, apparently oblivious to the danger he is in.

The Baron concludes that it would not be honorable to down such a worthy foe who is in some sort of obvious distress. "Perhaps his controls are frozen?", he thinks. He pulls alongside the Sopwith Kennel and shouts: "Herr Beagle! Are you having difficulties?"

*CRACK*

"Zaebis'! Chyort poberi!

*Felix has just been hit on the head by the body of a Robotic Destructor Bunny, apparently hurled from a great height*

Having recovered from the blow, Felix walks over and picks up the broken body of the Robotic Destructor Bunny and cradles it in his arms. "You'll receive the Order Of Lenin for this", he says.

He then turns to a nearby CSS agent and says: "Recidivist elements have taken up arms against the Comrade Bunnies. Find the person who did this and bring him to me".

Snoopy saw the Red Baron and signalled that he was okay, even though he wasn't. The Baron then attacked, peppering the doghouse with bullet holes, sending the Sopwith Kennel groundwards at a great speed. Pulling back on his stick, he just about managed to level it out a couple of feet above the ground, then drop it gently onto terra firma.

He looked skyward, shaking a fist, and shouted at the top of his voice

"Curse you, Red Baron!"

The Baron circles twice over the downed Sopwith Kennel. He notices that Snoopy is shaking his fist skyward and shouting something unintelligible. The Baron chuckles and executes a perfect barrel roll, then begins searching for a place to land. He spies an empty football field near the UN building and lands the Fokker in it. The Baron climbs from his machine and begins walking toward the building, in search of a drink.



The End

Finis