NationStates Jolt Archive

World Cup 46 RP thread - Page 2

Pages : 1 [2]
14-05-2009, 20:44
Tyrrin Ends Perfect Season

After a 5-0-0 start with not a single goal let in, the second half of the year started of on a bad note for the Knights. Tyrrin a low ranked bottomfeeder new to the tournament defeated the Knights 3-1. Scoring the first goals against the Knights all season, becoming the first team to defeat the Knights, and they ended the only truly perfect season for any team left. Now the Knights must regroup as they will soon have to face the Archregimancy and after a game like that your head is down low. Hoepfully though the Knights can pull their heads up and the days to come will be better.

Game 2 of the Mike Sarzo Cup was played last week during Friendly season. The Knights put two goals up on Starblaydia, but to have a chance now with only 2 points from two ties the Knights will have to beat Krytenia in the final post qualifying game of the tournament. Last weeks to goalscorers for the Knights were Brian Ying Uing, and Doug Newier. Last nights game was a horrible one and as we only scored one goal to Tyrrins 3 it was not even close enough after Brian Ying Uings goal to really have anything to say about it.
West Zirconia
15-05-2009, 00:57
West Zirconia's seemingly precarious qualification campaign was put back in track with a 2-1 win at Carpathia and Ruthenia.

The game was a dismal affair for spectators, with most of the action taking place in the midfield of a pitch that had seen much rain the previous two days. Hardly the constituents of an exciting end-to-end match.

The home team had three shots throughout the game, one of which found its target midway through the second half. However, they were already 2-0 behind, Alun Lydiate having scored twice either side of the interval.

Lovisa's rather surprising 1-1 draw with O Ale Ale gives them just a two-point lead over West Zirconia. The two meet in Banks for the next fixture.

West Zirconia: Gray, Phillips (c), Fox (Turner 82), Munro, Paterson, Hawthorne, Williams, French (Scott 82), McGowan, Forster, Lydiate.

Goals: Lydiate (42, 49)


Any feelgood factor that recent results may have generated has been destroyed by the discovery that a National League player has tested positive for a banned substance.

Hyland Town midfielder Andy Smith tested positive for the unnamed substance after his club's 5-3 defeat at Mort Park. Manager Vic Martin has had Smith's contract cancelled, and it is understood that Smith faces a two-year ban from the game. Whether any club would want to touch him afterwards is anyone's guess.
15-05-2009, 01:30
A naked Sadie Dallas with Princess Jacinta Sasha Dallas ...

I'm Sadie Dallas for Naked News Jeruselem. Today Jeruselem lost it's 2nd game in a row, this time to Gordon Bay City. Jeruselem face Milchama in another away game. It's not looking too good. I'm with Jeruselem FA President Jacinta Dallas here. Yes, she's related to me.

Jacinta: Hi everyone.
Sadie: We started well but we've had two losses. What's gone wrong?
Jacinta: Don't worry, it's the traditional Jeruselem mid-game panic attack.
Sadie: I don't understand.

Jacinta: You see we used to have bad games at the start. But the trend is a bad patch of games in the middle with a strong surge at the end.
Sadie: Yes, I noticed we have our bad patches of games.
Jacinta: You played for the team, you know we have them all the time.
Sadie: what's responsible for the current losses. We had a few good wins and then now seem to be a little wobbly.

Jacinta: It's all down to luck. I mean the first loss was bit unlucky against the girls in the goalfest and the second one was different game.
Sadie: OK, the game against the girls was like playing Jeruselem vs Jeruselem. But I don't understand about the 2nd game against the Bay City Rollers.
Jacinta: That's Gordon Bay City, Sadie ...
Sadie: Oops ...

I watched the game. First thing, the ref was very strict on offsides to effect some offsides were called but I think those where goals. 2nd thing, it doesn't help if one of our strikers got clonked on the head with bottle from the crowd. The game was quite slow and Jeruselem isn't the type of team to play grindingly slow games. It was mainly the ref who kept on frustrating game speed.

Sadie: The game was slow but we should have scored more goals.
Jacinta: We had a few goals disallowed. Some were for alleged interference with defenders and others for offside. I think some were goals and the defense was playing rules with the ref.
Sadie: So where the Bay City Rollers cheating?
Jacinta: No, all teams do the rules thing. It's just all the decisions went against us. And it's not the Bay City Rollers ...

Sadie: So it was just one of those games then?
Jacinta: You know, you'be played. Some games, things go against you.
Sadie: What's the plan for the next game against the Maggie team.
Jacinta: Milchama are a good team. Jeruselem must be playing at 100% to be competitive especially when we are away.

Sadie: Do you think we can win?
Jacinta: We'll win.
Sadie: on paper, Milchama will beat us.
Jacinta: Yes, but on paper - we shouldn't have lost the last two game either.

Sadie: Think it will be close or big win.
Jacinta: Close one, it's not going to be 4-2 like we did at home.
Sadie: Group 7 is real close!
Jacinta: I know but I'm sure we can win this one and the next 3 games. The last one against the all girl team is going to be tricky.

Sadie: Thanks for you time!
Jacinta: You sound more intelligent than normal Sadie.
Sadie: I've been listening to the Gordon bay City!
Jacinta: You mean Bay City Rollers ...

Sadie: Oh yes ...
Jacinta: You're still a dope.
Sadie: I know
Jeru FC
15-05-2009, 01:32
Kaye's Blog

Well last we played the Han, we got flattened 4-1. People don't expect much from us against good teams. Well, those who think Jeru FC only into the world cup finals because I slept with ref for the last game should just shut up. There's nothing wrong with 3 ALL draw with dreaded Han.

The guys played well. We didn't look like the best football team out there but it was the effort than counted. Admitted our defending was still crap against the Han. I have no idea how our defense operates, they seem to do something but I have no idea what. We actually scored a few more goals than normal against the Han, which meant they had less time to score against us.

It'd help if our captain didn't hit people for no reason, but giving away fouls at wrong time isn't something the coach was happy with. I think our keeper was half asleep today too. Not very aware and a bit slow to do anything, which isn't good when you play the Han.

I see Julie wants to get back her title as team skank but putting up her own videos. Or maybe, she needs money I do as well. I know people look down on skanky women but it seems to have improved the team a little. I mean we've got more points than Jeruselem! We've only lost one game and well, our habit of drawing games we should win is gone. We actually win games, and not play crappy draws.

The team know we're going be replaced soon. I guess it's our last chance to show Jeru FC isn't a team who can't be good. I saw the Jeruselem team lost to that Gordon Bay City mob. I think Gordon Bay City is creepy place from reports and the team maybe didn't like it there.

People are sending in new suggestions for my new videos. Some are bit weird and some are just outright disgusting. But there are good ones so I'll think about those. And I'm not doing kinky stuff with live ordinance, but I don't want to die in a horrible way.

Some clubs asked if I would like play for them. I can't at the moment because army life gets in the way. When we get we apparently have to dig a huge ditch for some stupid reason. We have machines to do that, but Jeru FC have to do it the slow way.
15-05-2009, 02:36
Scott Davis assembled his staff. He had received all kinds of outside interview requests from the bust and had never been busier. He would have Brett Carlson in studio as well as Jeremy McAllister, and it should be interesting. The station had decided to give Davis a full thirty minute telecast, knowing that this was a hot news story, reaching all across the Empire. Davis knew what he was doing, though, declining those outside interviews because he didn’t want any other news station picking up part of the glory right now.

“Are the pre-recorded interviews with the (Centralia) Cougars players ready that play or played internationally? Berber? Burns?” Davis asked.

“Casey Berber statement all set, Scott. The interview with Meghan could only be done via a phone line. They’ve both been supportive of Jeremy, though.” Austin said.

“Let me hear the Berber statement, first.” Davis requested.

“(After a reporter asks him to say what he thinks of the whole HGH deal), “I’ve played against Jeremy for many years and in doing so, you get to know the guy. Jeremy has always been a hard working player, and a serious player. He told me that he lived his career by words of Simeone Di Bradini after they won the Cup that he needed to be true to the game. I doubt that someone like that would want to get an edge. He’s not a cheater, and even if he took a pill while he was in Dancougar, that is perfectly fine to do. You all need to remember that all countries have different laws about this stuff. It seems like people are just jumping to one out of about a hundred possible conclusions that can be drawn up from the information you have provided.”

The staff stared at Davis awaiting his response, knowing that the statement wasn’t necessarily what he’d be looking for, so they were a little surprised in the way he replied, “Very good, we will air that statement. We have to show that we are willing to show both sides in this debate. Now, the Meghan Burns statement, please.”

“Well I don’t really know Jeremy that well but he seems like a good guy. Sometimes we have to listen to men for what they say and believe their words and not always think that they are lying. Jeremy has a great wife and I don’t think he would have a need to do that stuff. I'm sure this has been a real strain on her.”

“Typical Cassadagan reply, but she raises a good point. Did his wife know? I guess it really doesn’t matter, but it would be interesting to know. Anyway let’s prepare for Brett and Jeremy’s arrivals.”

(Brett Carlson arrives, they greet him, and a roundtable is set up with Brett in one chair and Scott Davis on the other side).

“Brett, you’ve been named in this SAPCO report. Have you had experiences with Doctor Holmes?”

“Yes, sir.”

“What were those experiences like?”

“The doctor told me he could make be a better football player. So I listened to him. I didn’t really ask him what he was giving me. I thought it was just like any prescription.”

“So you didn’t see it as suspicious that he gave you a pamphlet on avoiding its detection?”

“I didn’t get the pamphlet that Jeremy got.”

“So you knew Jeremy had this information?”

“No I didn’t know. I just found it out when you reported it.”

“Did you ever see Jeremy acting as if he was hiding anything in the locker room, or did you ever have a discussion about this?”

“Jeremy didn’t talk to me much, but I knew that he really wanted to come back for World Cup 46. He talked sometimes about wanting to come back and play with his son; that was really important to him. It became more apparent when we knew late in World Cup 45 qualifying that we were not going to qualify. You could tell that he wanted to be back.”

“How about before though, Brett. World Cup 44? 43? Did anything clue you in then that Jeremy may be using illegal substances?”

“I can’t say that I did. Jeremy didn’t seem the type. He was always pretty arrogant though towards me.”

“Did Doctor Holmes ever mention Jeremy to you?”

“No. But I think he knew that we did not get along.”

“Alright, thank you for your time Brett.”

Brett left the office and the station. Davis left the office and got back together, slamming his papers on the table. He was not happy about the lack of information he received. The only helpful parts would again point to this HGH use after he had been transferred to Lakeport. He had to prove, somehow, that it began before the transfer, or else the fact that technically Jeremy not doing anything illegal ruined this whole thing. Despite his advisors growing sentiment to focus the investigation on SAPCO and Doctor Holmes, and away from Jeremy McAllister, Davis just could not do that. At least not yet. Maybe he could get something better out of McAllister, but he didn’t have his hopes up for it. The staff waited for J-Mac’s arrival, and when he did, the same table set-up was arranged and Davis went to the interview. McAllister did not show any anger, and seemed prepared and confident that he would put an end to all this right here and now.

“Jeremy, thank you for coming.”

“Well I had to Scott, for these alleg…”

Davis interrupted him. Allowing McAllister to continue would let him be able to control the interview, and there was no way that he could allow that to happen.

“Jeremy, do you know who Doctor Holmes is?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Did he ever give you HGH?”

McAllister paused, “When we were in the Di Bradini Cup, Doctor Holmes approached me and suggested to me that I take the supplement.”

“Which Di Bradini Cup, in Starblaydia?”

“No, this last one in Valanora.”

Davis sighed but continued, “And you took it?”

Jeremy thinks back to that day. Yes, he did take it from the doctor, because he couldn’t help but think about it. Sensing the hesitation Davis pounces on the opportunity to add, “You really wanted to come back and finally try to qualify for the World Cup and to play with your son, didn’t you?”

Jeremy couldn’t lie and outright deny everything. He was at a point now where it could only be the truth. “Well, Scott, if you give me a minute to explain to you and everyone what happened I would love to be able to, so they can find out.”

“Go ahead, we want to know the truth, Jeremy. Tell us.”

“I took the HGH from him. I couldn’t say no right away. It was really painful having done so much for the Empire but at the same time, letting the Empire down and never qualifying for the World Cup. I thought for a moment that maybe I could come back. Then I thought about maybe playing with my son, and that some currently successful nations needed seven tries before they qualified for the first time. I knew this would be our seventh try. I thought about it, but then I decided no. So yes, I did text message the doctor a few times while I was thinking about it, but I decided not to, and I dumped the pills down a sewer drain. Unfortunately, I left the pamphlet behind and that’s what started everything. I think it would be good now if you all focused your investigation on the doctor so he doesn’t prey on any more athletes.” A perfect reply, Jeremy thought.

But Davis wasn’t going to be outdone. “If that is all true, Jeremy, then why didn’t you report Doctor Holmes to the authorities? Why were you more interested in dumping them down a drain? Had to make sure you kept your name clean, right?”

“I just wanted to have it be over with and move on with my life. Clearing my name had nothing to do with it.”

“Really? So now you tell me that we need to be going after Doctor Holmes, and we are, but you had the chance too. Hell, he gave this to you in Valanora as you say. A lot of young athletes there for the Di Bradini Cup that he could prey on it. That’s where Matthew Coulson got them, you know. I’m sure if it was your son and not Coulson, you would have reacted differently.”

“I had no idea that Coulson was using this stuff. If I did, I would have tried hard to get him to stop just the same.”

“So again, why didn’t you report Doctor Holmes? Because he was your supplier, of course. How long have you been using HGH, Jeremy?”

“I answered that already. And I regret not reporting him. In hindsight, I should have.”

“I’m sure everyone will believe that. How long have you been using HGH? We heard your story, now tell us the truth.”

"Scott, I’ve told you the truth. I’ve told everyone the truth just now.”

“Well, we will leave that to the people to decide.”

The segment ends, but Davis doesn’t stop.

“We’re going to find out, Jeremy.”

“I have nothing more to say to you or your station. I’ve told you the truth and you are clearly too biased to listen to it as you want this story to be something else. From this moment, I will only do interviews with media personnel I trust.”

“Suit yourself,” replied Davis as McAllister walked out. Had they reached an impasse here? Maybe. But tomorrow’s guest, Doctor Holmes, may be very motivated to report the story that Channel 5 wants, true or not.

Shaina had watched the interview with Sarah and the two of them privately began to show some sympathy for McAllister. They had believed him, but could not come out and say that in the open. Unfortunately, this may have shot down the book deal. Shaina excused herself from Sarah and returned home. Everything was gone. She had been robbed, and on the table, a note was left, written in very poor English. Her boyfriend’s gang was responsible. They had cleaned house because her boyfriend felt that Shaina was cheating on her. Shaina had not been to visit him since she discovered the pamphlet, and he had obviously arranged for her place to be hit. She got down on her knees and helpless cried. Everything she had was gone and she was just trying to do the right thing. It occurred to her then. “This must be how Jeremy feels. To be robbed of his good name.” She, fortunately, still had her car, and drove to Sarah’s.
15-05-2009, 03:56
Fromburg Free Press
World Cup 46 Coverage

Fernando Turek was buried next to fellow WCHoFer Reggie Hassok today at Qazian National Cemetery, 3 hours before the Pheonix were scheduled to face Rymeria today. Qazox, wearing a black armband with the initials FT on their left shoulders, avenged thier opening game loss 3-1, thanks to goals from Cornelia Fuston, Brent Folks and Angel Kenworthy all in the first half, just 16 minutes (15th, 25th and 31st minutes). Rymeria cut it 3-1 in the 50th minute.

Up next for Qazox is a trip to Yelda.

THE Fromburg Free Press PRESENTS
The 6th Biggest Moment/Event
in Black Oxen/Pheonix Footballing History

Date: July 12th, 1898
Location: Stade Aéroport; The Lowland Clans
Event/Moment: Qazox' first World Cup Game.
Other Nation involved: New Montreal States.
Result: 2-2 Draw.

Reprint of event from National Archives:



Qazox did what few teams can ever do in their 1st appearance at the World Cup, and managed not to get blown out by the Paladins of NMS. Qazox had a chance at yet another huge upset, but a misplayed back pass from Ryan Holmes, hit a rock an bounced past Julia Kidd in the 67th minute, tying the match up at 2-2, where it finished.

The Black Oxen were big underdogs, but boosted by the 2 wins in qualifing over Starblaydia, Qazox felt little pressure, as they were not expected to contend. The Paladins, seemed a bit too confident of their ability, but that quickly went away in the 28th minute when Rene LaTreque, who's been light-out brilliant this cup, scored when Paladin Keeper, Vyacheslav Kamchatski, slipped on the shot and had no chance to deflect it.

With that 1st goal the pressure on NMS increased, and Qazox took advantage just 10 minutes later when Aki Fa'Mau-Tana took an errant pass and lodged it in the back of the net, giving the Black Oxen a surprising 2-0 lead 35 minutes into the match, sending the crowd at New Trafford Field, abosultly nuts.

But just before halftime, Andre Darcy scored for the Paladins, cutting the lead to 2-1, giving NMS back some momentum. After the tying goal mentioned above, neither side could sustain any lengthy attacks and at the end, Qazox had Stolen a point, many thought they would not get.

Up next is The Islands of Qutar, a team Qazox faced during qualifing for World Cup 28, 16 years ago. Qutar beat us 4-1 in Qutar, but Qazox held them to a 0-0 draw at home. Qazox is a lot better than the team of 16 years ago, but so is the Qutaris. Expect a very close match, that could be decided by which team makes fewer mistakes.
15-05-2009, 04:08
Griffinville Gazette

Griffinville Gazette

A hat-trick, though dogs don't usually wear hats, from Spot gave the Canines a 3-0 lead just minutes into the 2nd half, but 3 Monkeys scored a goal each to tied it at 3-3 by the 83rd minute. With 4 minutes of injury time, both teams seemed destined for a draw. But then Growler scored in the 90+2' to give Prux the 4-3 win and keeping them ahead of Arroza by 3 points and behind Kura-Pelland by 2 points.

Up next is a trip to Lecland, who are 1-0-5 and are all but mathmatically eliminated from contention.
15-05-2009, 04:56
Dancougar News!!
Stupid sexy Miyuki.

Alive at last? Wings romp over Bear-Belles: Going into their matchday six showdown with group leaders Bears Armed, the Dancougar Black Wings had a grand total of four goals in five games. Make it double.

The Wings kept pace with surprising Silexhera while finally securing a breakthrough performance in a 4-1 drubbing of visiting Bears Armed, retaking the Shirt on Stick but more importantly gaining some badly-needed confidence after an underwhelming first half. This is the team that we expected six months ago, capable of free-flowing football that produces cheers, excitement, and goals. Shots that wouldn't fall in their opener fell in this one.

"It's been awhile since a game felt that good!" said forward Stefan Rosberg, who rejoined the starting lineup and repaid Takeuchi's faith with a brace. "You know, it's hard to explain what was so different, because it always felt like we were working hard but got an unlucky bounce or the shot carried at the last minute. But today we finally found our rhythm, and how good to get it in front of the home fans?"

The win comes on the heels of an away draw at Qazox, 2-2, that may indicate that the Wings have finally turned the corner after Takeuchi overhauled the midfield. He's taken out some shooters in favor of players who are more comfortable in supporting roles, and the immediate response has been an increase in the quality of Dancougar's attacking play.

Still, the fans were nearly silenced eight minutes in when Bears Armed came up with the first scoring chance, a powerful strike from Ilga NorthWalker that seemed destined for the top corner. But Artur Komarov came flying across the goalmouth to deflect it wide, bathing NorthWalker in disbelief. Rosberg singled it out as a key moment.

"It sends your team a message when your goalie makes a big stop like that," he said. "It allows you to calm down."

In the 15th, Dancougar got the opening goal after an Urra SunBlessed foul set up a free kick to the right of goal from 30 yards. Captain Dan Florentino took it himself and picked out a diagonal run by Rosberg, who stopped the ball with his heel at cut back in a single motion, sending his defender past the play and lining himself up for a shot on goal. He fired a low shot past the paw of Urra Thunder to make it 1-0. Unfazed, the ursines picked the ball out of the net and kicked off to restart play.

Within twenty seconds, calm had turned to worry. They quickly lost possession after the kickoff and the Wings moved forward in a wave. John Schiermier was given the ball on the side and he turned it upfield, using his mobility to turn one defender before sliding a through ball into the box for Florentino, who fired a one-time shot past Thunder. Two goals in twenty seconds sent the crowd into a frenzy and left Thunder to wonder what had gone wrong. Lackadaisical defense had played a significant role, as nobody seemed to be prepared to challenge Florentino's sudden run.

The Wings tried to play aggressive football and displayed more passion than the ursines, who nevertheless buckled down and fought their way back into the game. On one of their three shots in the first half, Bears Armed scored to keep it close, with Karramarsar Sarra providing the visiting fans with a reason to bang their drums with pride. In the 40th minute, she used her superior reach to beat defender Tomo Asanuma to a loose ball near the top of the box and swept it past Komarov to make it 2-1.

"We were moving the ball very well in the first half," said Takeuchi. "I'd say we were a lot more composed, and that translated to better quality possession." The Wings did indeed have both fewer turnovers and fouls and came close to netting the third on several occasions.

It finally came in the 51st minute, as the Wings were able to find more soft spots in Thunder's defenses. Two midfielders, Schiermeier and Shoji Ishino, combined to produce the Wings' third goal. The ball started at the top of the box and the bears pulled back, forcing the Wings to kick it around the outside. It was a tactic used against them by several teams already, and the packed defenses had led to stalemates and bad shots. But this time, the Wings tried to force a play and their aggression was rewarded. Schiermeier tried to pick out Rosberg, but his cross was headed away. Ishino won it with his chest and fired a dipping shot to Thunder's right that caught her off guard.

Five minutes later, an error by Thunder produced the fourth goal, confirming the rout and ensuring a celebratory mood at the National Stadium. Rosberg scored his second goal as his stinging shot looked to have been saved by Thunder. But she was off balance and ended up punching the ball into her own net for 4-1. Rosberg was credited with the goal.

Takeuchi was as surprised as Rosberg at the team's windfall. "We just played the way we had been playing the entire tournament," he said. "It just so happened. We shot the ball the same, played the same system. Maybe today wasn't their day."

With half an hour to play, the Wings looked capable of more, but manager Arri Thunder sensed that his goalkeeper's will had been deflated and brought on Iritti o OldWood for the final half hour. OldWood made four saves to close the wound, but the Black Wing defense never looked in danger of yielding any more goals. Tight marking prevented any big runs, and as time ticked away, the bears were hurried into taking poor shots which did not trouble Komarov.

"It was obviously a great win for us, but for the fans, too," said captain Florentino. "Talking to family and friends; everybody's watching and everybody is excited. It was great for the team."

The Wings now visit Liventia, who suffered an upset loss at home to Silexhera, which heaps additional pressure on the Wings to follow up on this victory.

[B]Athletic, Lakeport close gap at top: Yuki City Athletic pulled within a point of league leaders Port Royal while Sporting Lakeport are now just three back after the weekend's action. Lakeport are eying a return to international play despite having to deal with doping allegations stemming from assistant manager Jeremy McAllister's supposed ties to SAPCO. While many steroids are banned at the federal level, HGH and similar supplements are not illegal. Longtime opponents of that policy have used recent events to try and prompt new legislation.

But Lakeport have continued to play well, and their 1-0 home victory against struggling Raymaley made up some ground with Port Royal, which drew 1-1 at Grandborough. The defending champs have been mired in the middle of the table thanks to several retirements and a poorly-stocked farm system, but Port Royal were missing some punch up front when Makoto Katayanagi was called up as a substitute against Bears Armed.

The biggest winners of the day, though, were Yuki City Athletic, who overcame a halftime deficit to defeat Dynamo Kalinsk 3-2 away. The teams reserves have performed admirably, with another goal to backup forward Derrick Milbauer as well as one for national team reserve Kou Hirano, who was not summoned by Shigeru Takeuchi. Kalinsk have fallen into the middle of the table and sorely missed goalkeeper Artur Komarov during Athletic's second half comeback.

Rob's Rant: Diplomacy is weird: There were bears last night. Now, normally, if you walk into the National Stadium and see lots of bears, you put the shrooms away. But no, apparently there are weird places in this world where that's normal. So there were bears all over the place, cheering on other bears, who by all accounts should have torn us apart. But they were nice just like the last time we played them, and that was good, because our guys stayed alive long enough to learn how to score.

But that's not even the biggest news involving sentient bears and the like. So, the other day, the sky exploded right over downtown and everyone was like, "OMFG, who the hell is shooting at us, fire ze missiles!" Turns out, nobody was shooting anything, but instead there were these magical talking ravens from Bears Armed coming by to talk relations over tea with the foreign ministry.
Art intern Ted was sacked after depicting the arrival.

Can ravens even drink tea? It would be awful hard with those kinda prickley feet. Then again, there were those commercials back in the day with that one football dude... Dan Potts, I think? ... was doing weird stuff with his feet, including drinking tea. He even got the pinky toe out, which was creepy. I think the point might have been to sell shoes. But this is even bigger, because the ravens are selling peace, and possibly access to their lucrative wild berry markets.

I can't claim to understand anything about foreign policy, but all I can say is this. When talking ravens explode into existence over your capital city and can guarantee friendly relations with a nation of talking bears, YOU FRIGGIN' TAKE WHATEVER TERMS THEY GIVE YOU. I don't want to mess with that.

Dancougar News!! editors to take break: It's that time of month, folks. We at the Dancougar News!! will be taking some much needed - though possibly unwarranted - rest. There's been talk of seeing that new Space Trip film, you know, the one with that mad awesome captain Kirk T. Jamison. Game reports will be abridged, but they will come courtesy of accomplished columnist and former intern Rob, who made his way back to the News!! after roughly six intern firings, twice the national average.


Thank you," Herro replied. "I'm glad to meet you, and to finally be in thsi land where Raven is known to have spoken to people in the past, too. We made a particularly showy entrance like that as -- I suppose you'd call it -- an advertisment of our capabilities, but both that and the journey here took a little bit more effort than we'd expected so if your people could provide us with a few snacks and some water before the talks start then we'd be grateful."

"Of course, of course," Kurosaki replied, signaling to his aides. "Bring something for our guests, please. They must be tired."

The aides left and made their way to the kitchen. "So... yeah, what exactly do ravens eat?" one asked.

"Beats me," said the other, whipping out his phone and bringing up a web browser. "Fortunately, we can ask the internets."

"Oh man, is that one of those new phones with the Cyborg operating system?" asked the first.

"Hells yeah," said the second. "Now then, let's see. Ravens... feast on Roethlisbergers... no, no, disambiguation page. Ah, there we go. Fruits, rodents, bugs... umm..."

"Let's do the fruit."

"Good call."

Kurosaki attempted to strike up light conversation until the food was wheeled in. Various fruits were arrayed on the trays, which were left near the back of the room where the ravens were perched. Wide-rimmed glasses of water were also left on an adjacent cart. Another aide walked up to Kurosaki and whispered into his ear.

"Mister Herro, it seems our princess has arrived," he said. "She will be joining us shortly, so please excuse me while I attend to her." Kurosaki left the room and, once the door was closed, he jogged towards the main hall where the princess and her two wingmen had assembled.

"Minister Kurosaki, it's an emergency!" cried an aide. Standing in the hall were Erica, Russ, and Peter in their flight suits. Sweat dripped from their foreheads. All in all, completely unpresentable.

"My dear, your highness, we have to get you cleaned up right away!" cried Kurosaki. "Forgive me, but this... this will never be acceptable to our guests!"

"I was told to just land here!" she shot back. "What did you want me to do?"

"Summon the interns, now!" Kurosaki continued. All over the building, interns were rounded up and brought to be sized up. The ones that matched the three best were told to change out of their formal clothing so that it could be reapportioned. Before she could complain, Erica and her designated intern were whisked away by a team of aides, while Peter and Russ were likewise carried out.

Five minutes after he'd left, the door to the conference room reopened and in strode Kurosaki. Flanking him were the suddenly ladylike Princess Erica and her sharply-dressed attendants Russ and Peter.

"Hey..." Peter whispered to his friend. "You know what the difference is between you and me? I make this look good."

Erica did her best to keep her face from twisting into one of wild disbelief. R-ravens?! she thought. From a country full of bears? Why, why did father ask me to handle this?! Instead, she extended her hand and said, coolly, "Welcome to Dancougar, honored ambassadors..."
15-05-2009, 05:32
The Jeruselem world Cup 46 team wanted to get home faster so they chartered a smaller faster plane but also meant people had to share seats. As usual, Dan Ducky was the last person standing and almost got a seat to himself until the Qazian Lilian Dazza Greenly turned up late meaning he got stuck with her. The last person he wanted was a chatty single woman with large breasts who was a journalist.

Lilian: Oi, I have a few questions ...
Dan: A few ...
Lilian: OK, more than a few.
Dan: I suppose ...

Lilian: It's all for a good cause.
Dan: I'm a private person but I do understand being a World Cup player means you're in public spotlight.
Lilian: OK, who's your hero?
Dan: I don't really have one actually.

Lilian: What about a role model?
Dan: I dunno, I've never really workshipped or admired anyone.
Lilian: What does your Mum do?
Dan: She's a nurse, public nurse that is.

Lilian: What about your Dad?
Dan: He's a cleaner. He runs a building cleaning business.
Lilian: Still single I assume?
Dan: Yes, pretty much. I don't have much interest at the moment.

Lilian: So why are you here, as a football player.
Dan: I'm no good at organising myself, so that's why I took up team sport like football. I don't have any real self-motivation for individual sports.
Lilian: So you want to be one of the sheep.
Dan: Yeah, if you put it that way.

Lilian: Do have any leadership ambitions?
Dan: None, I'll just be one of team.
Lilian: Who'd the type of person ideal as a partner?
Dan: I think someone like my mother.

Lilian: What's she like?
Dan: A simple hardworking person who accepts life and doesn't rock the boat. Not an attention whore either or not a whore as well.
Lilian: So you want someone who doesn't want to change things.
Dan: Yeah, that's a essense of my kind of partner.

Lilian: So, some like Marie would be the opposite?
Dan: Pretty much, I have nothing against her. But I have my idea what I want a woman.
Lilian: What would you be if you don't play football?
Dan: Probably just a council worker.

Lilian: Come on, aim higher. Council worker is below a farmer.
Dan: Maybe a farmer actually, you work all day to set schedule.
Lilian: I'm a farmer, sort of.
Dan: Most farm girls I know aren't attractive.

Lilian: Oh come on, look at Pups! And that other girl ... forgot her name. Then there's moi.
Dan: Yeah, but you lot are exception to mainstream. This team is full of exceptional people who aren't really ordinary.
Lilian: Why about you then?
Dan: I'm just a Sheeple.

Lilian: Now what's this phobia to big boobs you have.
Dan: It's really embarassing.
Lilian: Please do tell! I won't laugh.
Dan: Someone beat be me up with bra with balloons in it. Even since women's boobs like that weapon.

Lilian: You mean someone beat you up with two balloons?
Dan: Yes, I didn't fight back.
Lilian: I mean if that happened to me, I'd fight back. I'd kick their ass so hard they'd be unable to walk.
Dan: I wish I had the same fighting spirit.
15-05-2009, 05:39
Jasīʼyūn - Veteran Aurelio Prats tally in the 2nd minute held up as the only marker of the match as Achtervolging defeated Jasīʼyūn, 1-0, on Thursday afternoon in Jasīʼyūn. Lions goalkeeper Edwin Nelisse registered five saves.

The Orange and Black stormed out of the gate as Prats' fourth goal of the campaign gave Achtervolging the lead just 78 seconds into the match. Midfielder Nelson Fielding took the ball on the right flank and served a long cross to Prats who was running into the box. Prats, fully extended with his right foot, caught the ball cleanly and fired a shot back across the goalkeeper into the right side of the goal.

The home side pushed for an equaliser, outshooting the Lions 11-3 in the first half, but Achtervolging took the 1-0 advantage into the halftime intermission.

In the second half, Jasīʼyūn again held the edge in shots, 9-6, but was still unable to find an equaliser against Nelisse and the Achtervolganian defense, and the Lions hung on to defeat their much higher-ranked opponents.

Achtervolging is now unbeaten in three contests. The win also marks the first for the Lions against an opponent with a higher KPB rank.

Achtervolging will return to action Friday when they host Candelaria And Marquez. The match is scheduled for 10.30a AST at Royal Stadium in Kari. A sold-out crowd of 91,583 will watch the Lions attempt to foil their foes of World Cup Qualifying.

With the recent boost in form, many fans hope this progress will spur the home-side to at least earn a point against the reigning champs, but one faithful follower added, "it'd be nice just not to lose by more than 2 this time (to C&M)."
15-05-2009, 05:45
O jornal no lugar certo na hora certa da notícia

Edição de Quinta - Ano 222 - Caderno III - Preço: V$3,50

Empress of Cafundéu decides to act

The announcement made yesterday by the Vanorian government saying that it was decided that Cafundéu would go to the country's black list finally had the impact inside the Cafundelense country. People in the streets don't understand the situation, and have no idea about what changes with this, as they didn't even know Valanora had a black list. Inside the Cafundelense government, there is a mix of angry and calm comments, but most people are optimistic about Cafundéu being able to keep good relations with the Vanorian government and that this would be certainly a temporary situation. But that surely isn't the opinion of the country's Empress, Alice Van Tocco, who have decided to reply.

The Empress just annouced a number of actions to be made involving the relations between Cafundéu and Valanora. In a note to the press, she said that "the fact that Valanora didn't really specify the reasons they had to make such an action means that they don't want us to take procedures to leave the list, as we surely don't know what to do." Due to this, the Empress stated that Cafundéu would stop all diplomatic and economic negotiations with Valanora, being restricted just to the deals that were already previously made. According to her words "if Valanora feels Cafundéu isn't a worthy nation, than they don't need us and we certainly don't want to keep a link with a country that has opinions against our government." She added in a sarcastic tone: "We don't want to annoy them by keeping with the negotiations."

Big worries were raised about the situation of the Vanorians living in Cafundéu. The new law introduced by Alice I will restrict the Vanorians' travel liberties to their home country if they have a permanent home in Cafundéu, although they will have freedom to travel in urgencies. "A complete freedom of travel between the two countries doesn't seem a suitable thing in this situation. I expect the Vanorians to do the same with the Cafundelenses there." Of course, this led many people to start commenting about the possible effect of those decisions in football, both domestic and international. Alice I said the Vanorian players won't suffer any kind of restrictions about playing for their National Team, so this won't be affected. But the CCFM decided to avoid confusions, and retired Ulisses Lemos from the list of backup NT players, putting Porto Lacruz's defender Rodriguez in his place. In domestic football, it is almost sure negotiations between the CCFM and Valanora are halted.

Some politicians expressed admiration and agreed with Alice's decision to restrict the relations between Cafundéu and Valanora. They agree with the words of the Empress that "this isn't a reply. This is only a natural development of the issue. I think they'll even appreciate it." Others believe that Valanora's reasons behind the decision to add the country to the black list were so obscure that Cafundéu had the right to be outraged by the situation. Cafundéu itself doesn't have a black list, but only the fact that it is restricting trade to another country is already a very extreme action given the country's standards.

But, even with the fast and angry reply of Alice I, most part of Cafundéu's population believe that this situation won't last long, although the Empress said "the end of the restrictions will only happen if they clarify the situation, and if they don't we'll move further to isolation." People with contact with the Empress are saying she is going mad, a situation that started when it was discovered that Carlos Alberto Urubupungá, one of her's most trusted friends, was stealing money from the Empire through illegal deals using the CCFM. The most repeated comment is that Alice now doesn't trust anyone, and often threatens people who seems to oppose her of death. If this is really true, then she is really going mad.
15-05-2009, 07:33


Banten States- We’re underway with the second half charge! Optimists now point out that if the Rockets win out, that they will qualify for World Cup 46. Not by beating The Macabees, but by beating Yafor 2. They’ll continue by saying that as long as they beat Yafor 2, the Rockets could even get away with a loss in the second half. This scenario presented itself with The Macabees win over Yafor 2. So now we wonder, is it the Yaforites that we should be looking at? It’s just another interesting twist that could develop here in Group 10.

Nelson Yaschter, knowing his job hinges on the Rockets qualifying for World Cup 46, changed things around at the halfway point that began in the mid-qualifying friendly against Bears Armed. There we saw yet another 1-0 defeat, but that did not prompt Nelson to undo the changes he put forth in the match. Jeremy McAllister, Jr would get the start in place of Matthew Turner, who has unfortunately been too ineffective to warrant his continuing to start. It wasn’t the only change as Yaschter also stated he was going with Nick Roberts to replace Kyle Carrigan. This was much more unexpected, simply because that as a veteran, we thought Carrigan would be more secure, and that Roberts, who only had one international cap coming into qualifying didn’t seem as though he would be thrust into the starting lineup, thinking that if there would be a change in the midfield, it would be Brittany Prescott and not Roberts. Also, Matthew Coulson was dismissed from the team after his name was mentioned as being attached to much publicized SAPCO bust. Coulson fessed up to his HGH use, saying, “I wanted to be a better player. I didn’t think I could be that without taking the steroids. I apologize for letting my country down. I did something wrong and I will accept the consequences. I can’t lie now, you got me, but I never thought I would get caught.” He’s hoping that his straightforwardness will lead to people being lenient on him, and perhaps allow him to continue playing for small market Daytopia, where he was one of the team leaders. Daytopia management has simply said that they would, “React when we have all the information gathered to justify a reaction. For now we realize the NPL will suspend him. We are more interested in helping Matthew as a person, instead of punishing him further.”

It’s hard not to be sidetracked by all this talk of HGH going on around the Empire, and the SAPCO bust has been far-reaching. Even in Dancougar, Sporting Lakeport, who’s have a strong season in the “D” League so far, is having to answer questions about it, and this is probably not just because that is where McAllister currently coaches. In Dancougar, where the supplement is legal, it appears as though this report has triggered enough of a backlash out there to make people wonder why exactly, it is legal. We’re sure that there are some other football associations out there that are taking a second look at the way the handle this issue as well after all this has come out.

It would have been a picture-perfect story if we could say that Junior was the man responsible for this victory. To say that the sixteen year old, in his first official start during qualifying, carried the Rockets on his shoulders the way his father would right when his father was facing the most difficult opponent of his life. Junior did play a strong role in this win, but let’s not get too carried away with wanting to have this become some kind of fairy tale, here. The triumph did not even start right away, with the Banten States being the team that scored first, in the 12th minute. This got their fans going, and doing that chant. No, they can’t steal our Taeshan taunt! Were they really chanting “You Can’t Beat Us!” in the Banten States towards us?! Their fun with the taunt didn’t last long, as the game was tied in the 18th minute on a Jennifer Vilardi score. Jennifer pounced on a rebound from a Keith Taylor shot for the equalizer. With some momentum, the Rockets kept to the attack, and in the 23rd minute, we had our second goal of the game. How great it was to be scoring goals again! This time the shot from Taylor beat the goalkeeper to make it 2-1 in favor of the sky blue and white. The Rockets seemed to start playing better, and looked to be taking control of the match until an error by Billy Prescott in the midfield allowed the Banten States to get a great opportunity during first half stoppage time. When the shot ended up in the back of the net, the Rockets could only stare up at the sky and ask, “Why, Simeone, why?”

The mood was somber in the locker room. The game was tied at two, and The Macabees had defeated Yafor 2. We needed Yafor 2 to win that game to have a chance at The Macabees, and the players, except one, knew it. The one, Billy Prescott spoke up, “That’s a damn good result! Cheer, damnit!” The players thought about that result. “He’s right!” said Jennifer Vilardi, “you know we can still catch Yafor 2. We’ve beaten them once. Let’s go get them!” Gradually, spirits picked up, and the team was energized for the second half.

But maybe a little too energized. In the 48th minute, Shawn Loughran was uncharacteristically yellow carded for a tackle in the box. Not only the card, but a penalty kick for the Banten States. Hargrove guessed incorrectly, but the shot sailed over the crossbar. The Rockets had escaped, and moments later, another break would benefit the team. A miscue by the Banten States back end in response to offensive pressure by Junior forced an own goal. It didn’t matter, how this was scored, but the Rockets were back in top, and for the first time, it looked like they were getting the fortuitous bounces. The miscue occurred in the 54th minute. Five minutes later, the Rockets were attacking again, trying to exploit the same defender who’s leg the own goal went in off of, and even though he made the play, his clear was terrible, and went right to Keith Taylor, who got the ball to Junior for the goal!! 4-2, and now maybe, the Rockets could start sensing the victory. It wasn’t their confidence that was rising, but it was evident that the Banten States were feeling like a defeated side. In case there was any doubt, the Rockets erased that in the 70th minute on the second goal of the match from Jennifer Vilardi to make it 5-2! That would be enough, and the defense made it stand. This time, we could beat the Banten States.

Who knows if this will be enough to get the Rockets fired up. After beating Yafor 2, we thought they looked good and then they turned around and lost to a bunch of people named McLaughlin. For now we will hope that it is. This isn’t over yet, but we must win games. The game against The Macabees in Newmanistan is critical. Not because we’re looking at them as much as we’re focused on Yafor 2 now. It’s another crazy second half, and we’ll see how things play out.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

To: Samseong Board of Football Affairs
From: Clint Peterson
Re: The Macabees sponsorship

Thank you for your response. In the business world, it is important to maintain a level of trust with your partners, and we wish to continue that with Samseong. We are glad to hear that you have understood how your planned sponsorship of The Macabees would create a conflict of interest with our national team. As you know, right now the Newmanistanian football team is faced with distractions concerning the SAPCO fallout and national icon Jeremy McAllister’s alleged use of the illegal supplement HGH. This comes at a time when we are traditionally at our strongest in qualifying, and we are hoping to rise above it. The last thing we would need on top of all this, is to have issues with our main sponsor.

It would have been good if you had sent us a letter to assure us that there would be no conflict of interest, therefore the people that I work with would not have gotten all wound up about it. We have no intention of standing in your way of sponsorship of The Macabees after qualifying, but to have done it now, during qualifying, was rather concerning to us.

We appreciate your attention to this matter, and believe that we will work past this with no further problems.

Clint Peterson

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Head coach Nelson Yaschter and assistant Mark McCafferty meet in Nelson’s office.

Yaschter: What do you think? (showing him a picture)

McCafferty: No way, man. No way!

Yaschter: We need to look for ways to appease Simeone Di Bradini, wearing purple kits seems like a good thing to try out.

McCafferty: Newmanistan and purple? No. Never!

Yaschter: Alright. So what do we do about McAllister. Do we dump him?

McCafferty: Jeremy needs to be on the team right now, if let him go as an assistant, it would be really hard on him. And I know for a fact that he never took them.

Yaschter: How are you so sure?

McCafferty: Because during the Charity Cup he talked to me about it, that he had gotten them and he was thinking about it, but then at the end of our discussion he said he wouldn’t. I remember too, I told him specifically to make sure he didn’t make any careless mistakes, and it ends up being him leaving a pamphlet in his hotel room that does him in.

Yaschter: You seem pretty sure. I really hope you are right.

McCafferty: I’m confident that I am, coach.

Yaschter: You played in Centralia for a long time. What do you know about that reporter, Scott Davis?

McCafferty: Not a lot really. Davis isn’t a sports guy. He’s like a detective, he likes to investigate things and bust people. His focus has generally been politics, I can’t really ever remember him getting involved with sports. So I don’t really know the guy too much. He’s jumping on a story, that’s all it is.

Yaschter: We’ll retain him for now then.

McCafferty: I wouldn’t do anything too controversial, coach. Some people want you out.

Yaschter: I’m aware, but I’ve never coached in fear of being fired.

McCafferty: We’re going to depend on Junior for our second half run. Removing his father would be stupid and suicidal.

Yaschter: So true.
15-05-2009, 08:38
World Cup Qualifying Schedule
MD1: Greal VS Iglesian Archipelago (6-2)
MD2: Greal VS Bostopia (1-0)
MD3: Greal VS Chutnusak (0-1)
MD4: Greal VS Septentrionia (0-1)
MD5: Greal VS Italia Orientale (1-0)
Mid-Qualifying Friendly: Greal VS The Macabees (2-2)
MD6: Greal VS Iglesian Archipelago (1-0)
MD7: Greal VS Bostopia
MD8: Greal VS Chutnusak
MD9: Greal VS Septentrionia
MD10: Greal VS Italia Orientale

Greal holds tight

Greal held on for dear life doing the match against Iglesian Archipelago whom seemed to have learned from this mistakes last week, luckily, Howard Anderson showed his goal scoring capabilities by only attempting to score twice, and managed to score one of the shots. Iglesian Archipelago was aggressive and went on offensive and managed to almost goal several times, but the Greali themselves were stubborn and would not let themselves get carried away. There was a massive increase in TV viewers as if all the Greali fans were rallying because of the victory. However, celebrations maybe be short lived. Tomorrow, Greal will be going after sixth ranked Bostopia. Tomorrow's match will be crucial for the Greali and the match may determine the rest of the qualifying stage. By all means necessary, Greal must win or else face the consequences. Last week Greal won the match against Bostopia 1-0. Bostopia is not expected to roll over for Greal, so the Grealimust do the impossible again. Weather Service forecasts cloudy weather tomorrow, but no expected downpours.

Greal 1
Howard Anderson (43')

Iglesian Archipelago 0

In other Group One matches...

Italia Orientale was bested by Bostopia 1-3.

Septentrionia beaten Chutnusak after a fierce game 3-2.
15-05-2009, 09:24
Sasha, Greal

Brian and Jeffrey return from Grunt after serving there as marines for months. Roger and Ethan greeted at the airport and drove them to Ross's place.

"So how was everything in Grunt?" asked Roger in the van, trying to get through the worse traffic seen in Greal.

"After all we heard about that place, it was actually quiet." reported Jeffrey, "Unless you count one of the colonists throw a beer bottle at a humvee disturbance."

"What did you do, shot yourself in the foot?" joked Ethan.

"I think the natives did that. It would explain how they lost the rebellion." said Brian.

"You wanna hear what's going on here?"

"I'm all ears."

"Its turned out my neighbors were mafia."

"You're kidding." said Jeff.

"SWAT broke down the door and all hell got loose." explained Ethan "They broke down my door too."

"What did you do?"

"I was at work. Didn't hear about it until I got back."

"Was there a shootout?" Jeff was obviously interested in these things.

"Yes, many rounds spent, I think they pulled out some bodies. I had to stay at my brother's place as they turned the building into a crime scene."

"Wow, that's unbelievable."

"This is Greal, mind you."

"What's going on the soccer front?" asked Brain, "I haven't heard much at Grunt."

"Third place of the group. I think there are only two qualification spots." reported Roger.

"Do we have a chance?"

"If the team wins three out of four matches or more from now until the end of the qualifying stage, I'd say we got a chance."

"Do you think that'll happen?"

"It all depends on the match against Bostopia tomorrow." Roger did not look happy about the possible outcome.

"Well, I'll be sick if we miss it again this year. We might regain some pride at CoH38, but I'll still be pretty pissed." said Ethan.

"You missed Roger's place dude, its back that way." said Jeff, realizing they were in the wrong street.

"Damn, If I had continued driving, I would have drive right into that gang over there." They could barely see a group of armed men patrolling the streets. "Mafia area."

The van turned around and drove away from the danger. Soon they were in front of the place, where furious Roger was there, waiting for them.

"You drove right by here. I was mystified! What happened?" he asked.

"Distraction." explained Ethan, lamely.

Everyone helped carry Jeff and Brian's bags up the stairs, despite their protests.

Jeff looked around Ross's apartment, and noticed a few changes, "You got a new television set!"

"Couldn't find the remote and it was too old anyway." said Ross turning on the television which showed footage of the previous game against Iglesian Archipelago.

"Nice quality. Did you buy it at that GRUNT Inc. place?" asked Brian.

"No, the Look Incorporated has having a half price day because it was their anniversary of the company's founding, so I bought one."

"What happened to the old one?"

"I tossed it downstairs." said Ross laughing.

"Traffic is a nightmare." said Roger returning from parking the van, "Had to park it in the parking lot tower nearby. Prices are insane."

"Just keep it overnight and get it tomorrow before prices double."

"Prices double during the day?" asked Roger in dismay.

"This is Sasha. City of no Empty Parking Spaces." Every Sashan who had trouble finding a parking space knew those words.

"The game against Bostopia isn't for another several hours. Shall we go to that steakhouse down the street?" asked Fred to everyone.

"Sure, as long as its far away from that gang." said Ethan, then he explained why he said that.
15-05-2009, 10:58

It is no secret that the Secristan Department of Sports frowns on scoreless draws. All they do is serve as fodder for non-soccer fans who aren’t fans because they feel that game is boring to speak up and state their case. It is why the SDOS demands goal scoring from their teams, especially in the wake of the World Cup 44 disaster that saw four scoreless draws. They can be inevitable, and sometimes desirable. The better result last night would have been for the Millionaires to have defeated Bazalonia. Doing so would have been huge for our chances to qualify for the World Cup, or the bare minimum the SDOS expects, and for us to be a contender until the last day so that all games are meaningful. A draw may have done that too, because right now the Millionaires sit in third place, one point out of second and another point out of the top spot. Since the two teams ahead of us still need to play each other, it’s almost as if we are all in a non-official three-way tie at the moment. With some weaker opposition coming up, such as the soupheads again in Lemetel, if the Millionaires are at their best, they should linger in this group 15 race until the very end, at worst. Katie Simpson, our SDOS rep tells us, “There was nothing damaging about this scoreless draw as far as making us lose fan support. The fans we realize this was a tough game against one of the better teams in this world, and we picked up a big point out of it by keeping them off the scoresheet. The ratings for the match were strong, but that was expected. It will be important to win our next two games, which are certainly against opponents we should defeat.” During the game, Bazalonia had a small possession advantage, and outshot us 19-12. However the shots on target tell a different story, as we outshot them 9-8, in terms of what got on net.

The morale of the team appears to be very positive. Kevin Tucker signed a deal on Tuesday with Penthoria Valley Internet Services to be a spokesperson in the latest wi-fi promotional period. It is the largest endorsement deal that the young Tucker has achieved. “This will help me pay a lot of my taxes in Cafundeu!” That is where he plays his club soccer. James Rogan also picked up a deal to sell for an investment firm that specializes in retirement funds. “Fitting, but it will be fun. I’ve seen some of the scripts they want me to do and I find it hilarious. I think you will enjoy the TV spots,” the 36-year old us.
15-05-2009, 11:03
Akbarabad play out a goalless draw.

(Akbarabad press, AP): Akbarabad played out a goalless draw at home to Norwellia, in something of dissapointing result. With Cafundéu dropping points against Kosovoe, a win would have allowed the team to go top and earn some breathing room. As it is, they remain second and still unbeaten, but worryingly have only beaten the two lowest ranked teams in the group. That's a feat they will have to repeat in their next match away against Philips Island, in order to stay on course for qualification.
Candelaria And Marquez
15-05-2009, 12:46
The Albrecht Herald Online>Sport>Football>Football Shorts

Big Blues equal best ever to storm towards qualification The best footballing nation in the world? Hardly. The best team in the world? Right now? Almost unarguable. And while C&M may be heading for a massive fall if the nation’s hopes of back-to-back World Cup titles, to leave us in an elite group alongside Brazillico, Rejistania, Bedistan, Az-cz and the Eesseff, continue to spin so wildly out of control; the sheer dominance of Dannat’s men in Group Nine is a wonder to behold.

When Zachary Adekunde scored two minutes into injury time – yet another late goal from a team seemingly incapable of letting their concentration slip even when utterly dominant and already cruising to victory – it was C&M’s sixth of the night and twenty-seventh in qualifying, ten more than any other competing nation has so far managed. C&M have tougher tests than Pasarga to come, even within this group where they may still be on for beating the forty goals scored by their World Cup 39 counterparts over fourteen qualifying games in just ten of their own, but the manner of this afternoon’s victory further solidified a shiny new reputation as a team countless others across the globe – particularly those drawn from smaller, poor nations – now look to to set the standard at this level.

It’s a dramatic shift, over the last twelve months, that few of us – in the media and beyond – have yet learned to handle as expertly as our peers – our peers! – in Starblaydia and the Eesseff. The crowd at the Solidarity today was a perfect example – bullish to the point of arrogance, they feted Dannat and his team with Campioni!, We Only Win Five-One! (a certain Radyukevich forward may have knocked that one out of the water now, thanks heavens) and the occasional ironic burst of You Don’t Know What You’re Doing! – self-depreciating, perhaps, after some of these self-same supporters barracked Dannat with similar cries barely more than a year ago – but all only once Abdul Ibadulla and Lawrence Amey had also but put the game to bed either side of the half-hour mark. Up to then, the assembled thousands seemed nervy by their team’s failure to test Moricz Vincze unduly, with his Clube Imperial team-mate David Spooner particularly guilty in his profligacy after long stretches of Candelariasian possession. That C&M would win – and win well – never seemed in doubt, but the crowd appeared lost and confused without a goal to cheer.

When Niv Cohen supplied the best finish of the game – a rare effort from open play that saw the captain move ahead of Joe Cunningham and Dionísio in the all-time scoring charts – in first-half stoppage time, it was arguably justice done after forty-five minutes of total dominance, and only then did the crowd relax. And the players likewise, with the second period being rather more languid from the home side in the lazy afternoon sun; the Candelariasian content to allow their Rushmori neighbours to in the half on possession, and catch them on the break. Perhaps the first XI would be better advised to continue to fight for their places, with all three second-half finishes coming from Dannat’s trio of substitutes, but the minds of Cohen and company were clearly already on brighter things. Those of the CMSC have this weekend’s final round of the Apertura to worry about, and most have ICC campaigns drawing to a close this month. And, as much as anything else, some may be dreaming of a second straight final – and on evidence such as this, they may well be only eleven competitive matches away from it.

It was, if such statistics claim much relevance any more, only the third time the Big Blues have hit six goals, and their fifth competitive victory by five clear efforts all told – with Pasarga joining the rogue’s gallery of Colbourne, the East Antairees, Jeru FC and Kosovoe. In truth, the match was as much an indicator of how far Pasarga have to go to be able to trouble the global elite as anything else, with a potentially tricky away visit to Achtervolging being a more likely litmus test of C&M’s own ability. Until they take on fellow top-tenners, we may have no idea of the true capabilities of Dannat’s champions – but, in a superficial way if nothing else, we do know precisely how far C&M have to go.

Eleven games to double glory. The countdown starts here…

World Cup 46 Qualifying, Matchday Six
@ Soldarity Stadium, Albrecht

Candelaria And Marquez 6
Ibadulla 28
Amey 33
Cohen 45+1
Oliveira Tavares 61
Adams 71
Z. Adekunde 90+2

Pasarga 1
Calabrese 60

Vélez II slams Vélez I Former Marquez-Onwere, Radyukevich CSC, Delta Force Cardim, Green Island, Cafundó do Juta and Khalmar-Tijhus striker-cum-midfielder Rául Vélez today launched a stinging attack on elder brother Ignacio Vélez, accusing the all-time Big Blues top scorer of putting his coaching career before family loyalty, after the brothers’ family home was targeted by vandals for the second time in a month.

Graffiti bearing the word ¡traidor! was sprayed across the front windows of Carmen Vélez’s bungalow in Calamocha, Nr Onwere, while local reports claim that police found signs of an attempted forced entry and are searching for the owners of a light-blue, L-reg Celsan Falina spotted leaving the area at some speed in the early hours of this morning.

Departing the Big Blues’ training camp where he has been coaching alongside manager Elgin Dannat, Rául Vélez has crossed the estrecho to comfort his mother in Marquez, and this lunchtime called upon locals to remain vigilant – while slamming his elder brother for taking up a role with the Cafundelense national team.

“I’m well aware that Ignacio wants to further his coaching career now that his playing days are over, and that in doing so he’s all but turned his back on his homeland in favour of a new life over there,” Rául told TV1, “But I won’t pretend that it doesn’t grate that he hasn’t shown any interest in considering his position since these attacks against his own dear mama, or even come back over to see how she is.”

Whilst strongly condemning the vandals, Rául added; “Although we’re taking this very seriously, I don’t doubt that they are merely stupid children, angered – as I think we all are – by my brother’s decision to help train one of our country’s most direct rivals. To be honest, I’m not really sure what he thinks he’s playing at, and as he hasn’t returned any calls or messages from me for weeks now I honestly can’t comment on where his head is at right now.”

The elder Vélez declined to respond to Candelariasian journalists’ questions on the matter this evening, following Cafundéu’s disappointing goalless draw at home to Kosovoe in the still very open Group Six of World Cup qualifying.
Gordon Bay City
15-05-2009, 13:07
“So, um, to clarify… You don’t actually know any of these peop… pe…” Mark gave up. “Players, personally, then?”

“No. No, certainly not. It has always been the view of the Elders that we must remain apart from the lesser races of the mortal realm in order to preserve the spiritual sanctity of our species.”

“Right, yes… And now that yer elders aren’t around any more…?”

“I believed in their words once, Mark Baker. In their insight. Even as nobility ourselves we were taught to respect it above all else. But now… We have chosen our own path. This football team, it is my life now. It must win above all else, and we need not sacrifice that aim merely in the interests of maintaining our needlessly isolationist stance. For better or…”

“For worse?”

“Perhaps. I trust in my sister’s wisdom, however…”

“’course, yeah…”

“For better or for worse, we are part of your world now. We would be foolish to simply ignore its beauteous variety!”

“Mm,” Mark nodded. He wasn’t entirely sure how this translated into bringing in a dozen ringers who could claim the right number of heads between them but very little else, and certainly no connection to the town or its new overlords. “But… in the long term though, you know some these pe… these pe… these guys are going to want to stay, don’t you? I’ll willing to bet if they’ve come all this way on the off chance of getting a game for a third-raerrr… For an already superb footballing nation such as we… Some of them probably don’t have a whole lot to go back to, is what I’m saying.”

“Alan has a wife and five children in his homeland.”

“And sweet little… bat… things they no doubt are,” Mark grimaced.

“He has photographs if you would wish to see… I shall call hi–”

“Reallythatwon’tbenecessary,” the manager insisted quickly.

“I do not believe they have all travelled from afar, in any case,” Aino pressed on, “Our new number five is a refugee from Az-cz. And Alan’s new partner is from northern Marquez! Truly we have embraced the exciting make-up of this corner of the multiverse! Strength in diversity, Mark Baker!”

“Please stop saying that.”

It wasn’t that he considered himself a bigot, or anything. Granted, few people did, it wasn’t the sort of thing you put on your CV or anything, but on the whole he’d always embraced a live-and-let-live in his professional and personal life alike. In that first Baptism of Fire squad he’d given caps to black guys and Muslims and Harry Primrose, and now twenty years later he was coaching faeries, for heaven’s sake! The very creatures that had held his homeland in their clammy grip for centuries. You couldn’t get much more mercenary that! But this new lot? This lot were weird. They made Aino seem like positively everyday company, and that was no mean feat.

Some of them don’t even have feat, Mark thought bitterly to himself. He glanced down at Aino with renewed concern. For now, as far as this team of monstrosities was concerned, the captain was his ma… his faerie on the inside, and he needed him fit.

“What’s the reckoning, then? You going t’be healthy for this half, lad?”

Aino offered him a pained expression and bit his lip. “The agony is indisputably immense,” the faerie told him gravely as he pulled himself to his feet, “But the team need… me… argh…”

Mark shook his head as the winger collapsed again with a groan. “No. Forget it lad, you’re not good to them if you can’t walk. Er, no offence, Jorge,” he added hurriedly as the left-back flew silently past down the tunnel. Mark watched the head go. “Bugger me if I know how he makes so little noise,” he muttered.

“That’ll be the serrations on the leading edge of his flight feathers, gaffer. Ones on his earlobes. They hunt on moonless night, y’see, gotta keep mousy-mousy quiet. Not what I’d call flying in style meself, big ol’ ears, lacks a little je ne says kwoh, gotta say. Good player though, good player. Excellent header of the ball, can’t take it away from him.”

“He hasn’t really got a whole lot of choice, Alan,” Mark said, without turning around. He tended not to, if he could avoid it.

“Take your point, take your point. Holding his own out there against what’shisface, Shwick. That’s no mean feat, is it? Eh, ‘no mean feat’, eh? ‘Cos of the old apodally-challenged, eh?”

“Yes, Alan,” Mark muttered, a trifle testily, “Shouldn’t you be out on that pitch, the whistle’s going to blow in a minute or two?”

“Right you is, gaffer, right you is,” Alan agreed evenly, waddling past them before taking off and fluttering down of the tunnel and out into the evening air.

Alone once more with the faerie, Mark allowed himself a shudder. Of all his new charges, the wingéd striker was a truly stomach-churning site, for all that he was undeniable amiable. In truth, the manager knew he was already in Alan’s debt, having offered only the briefest of half-time team-talks in front of the new array of fearsome beings before making his apologies and locking himself in the referee’s toilet for ten minutes. According to Aino, the striker had taken it upon himself to gee-up the suddenly rudderless squad with a few improvised patriotic songs and had even reiterated Baker’s tactics, though he’d found the magnetic board too much of a fiddle and had recruited Keith – a creature apparently living in a state of abject misery at any point spent not helping someone else, and currently wandering past bent double under the weight of the lucozade bottle strapped to his back – to move the little coloured circles about.

The rest of the squad were already milling about on the pitch, performing stretches and various leg-pulling exercises (with the right-back Adlington having commandeered half a dozen wary faeries for this purpose) when Mark emerged into the light, a hobbling Aino to his side.

“I thought you lot didn’t get sick, anyway…”

“We do not suffer from your human frailties in the matter of disease, no. But, as your species would say, if you cut us – do we not bleed? And if Joshua Tree kicks us unnecessary hard in the knee,” Aino added, ruefully, “It does indeed hurt like bloody billy-o, Mark Baker. I am sorry.”

“Not to worry,” Mark sighed, as the Yaforite referee whistled to start the second half. A long pass from Sally Kool to Helen Clarke went astray, and Adlington controlled the loose ball, passing it furiously between his four legs before knocking forward to Ghislain to gallop on to. Mark frowned.

“Might’ve made a glaring misjudgement there… Can’t have two hoofed players on the same flank…”

“I could not possibly comment…”

By the time Mark had wandered out into his technical area to shout obscenities at the new right winger, Ghislain was already in a heap after trapping the ball between his hooves. It fell to Seabourne, who powered forward through the home side’s defence – Bm-Chm spinning madly in a passable impression of a weeble, and Furio Pessotto jumping out of the way of the onrushing Jeruselemite with a yelp and hugging himself tightly for comfort – and arrowing a shot into the top corner. Gnuraxai’s ears flapped wildly, but the visitors had their second goal.

At this point, the Gordon Bay City right-back ambled sideways and flared its nose in the general direction of the referee. The Yaforite, who realised suddenly that he was due for retirement anyway, indicated a goal kick and waved away Jeruselemite protests. The camel nodded, and folded his arms with a satisfied expression on his face.

Or would have done, Mark felt sure, had it had flexible forelimbs and the relevant range of facial muscles.

Over on the left, Brian lurched past Lara Bingle and crossed for Alan, but the Jeruselemite model proved capable of getting a toe on the ball and sending it spinning into the centre of the park.

The two teams held their breath as Kxaŋ͡ǂi loped onto the ball and looked up to spot the pass. This was a complex act, forcing the midfielder to get down on all fours, carefully untie and remove one of its boots, and lift the bare foot into the air; the large eye in the centre of the instep peering around furtively until noticing Ghislain’s speculative trot down the right.

The Jeruselemites waited respectfully for the midfielder to return to a standing position – earlier in the game they’d experimented with nicking the ball off him during these extended periods, before being informed via a series of clicks, coughs, tortured vowels and the occasional suggestive snigger that this would not be a good plan – before Kxaŋ͡ǂi duly delivered to the furry little right winger.

Mark had to concede that Kxaŋ͡ǂi’s presence did slow the pace of the game down somewhat, but on the whole he fas vast becoming a valuable member of Gordon Bay City’s new squad. The potential for inhuman violence always lay tantalisingly around the corner and, if nothing else, he was built like an Adekunde. That had to count for something.

Presently, Phaseolus the Signing Bean received Ghislain’s cross, poked the ball into the back of the net and wheeled away to celebrate. No-one actually noticed this, and he was subsequently eaten by a passing shrew, but the goal still stood and that was what mattered. Mark relaxed, and pottered back into the dugout.

“Got t’hand it to you, Aino. Masterstroke, this. Don’t get me wrong, your faeries are bloody good players an’ all, for beginners, but we’ve hit the jackpot, I reckon… I might actually be going to the World Cup,” the manager added, his eyes gleaming.


“‘Course,” Mark continued cheerfully, as Jorge the Flying Head headed the ball to the large head of Walter Johann, “You could’ve made better use of the locals. There’s a couple of Starblaydi dwarves over in Songstress, y’know, and o’course there’s Svartálfar all over the place. Particularly here, come to think of it… I bet the little buggers’d b–”

“We do not collaborate with daemons,” Aino interrupted sharply. Mark turned, and for the first time that he’d known the faerie his affable, guileless face was contorted in a grimace of revulsion.

“Uh… No. No, obviously. Wouldn’t want that. Can’t trust anything with an ae in it. Present company excepted, of course… Are you alright, lad?”

“The pain is not excessive…”

“Good. Not what I meant though.”

Aino remained silent, but instead indicated the crowd with a sweeping motion. Mark peered out, as a few thousand fae sat in stony silence while the home side continued their slow, deliberate play against a thoroughly dispirited group of Jeruselemites. One tossed a lucozade bottle at the pitch, hitting Max Shwick squarely in the temple. Mark glanced accusingly at Keith. The brownie blushed through his fur.

“Sorry, sairrr. He asked fur it sae sweetly… Ah didnae loch nae tae help…”

“They don’t seem overly happy, I must say…”

“No. No they do not. But their team is winning, Mark Baker! I do not understand it.” He frowned. “But… The supporters cannot be allowed to stand in the way of our progress! They will learn to love us, Mark Baker,” the faerie cried, “Or we shall replace them too!”

At this point, the camel did a wee.
15-05-2009, 14:06
"There goes Schaak. He controls the ball and makes a run for it. He outplays one monk and..."

"Ooh... He gets past the second one using a perfectly executed akka. This is Thomas Schaak on his best, people! The Nethertopian Marble, as he dribbles on with the ball."

"Schaak passes the ball, Visser receives him. Ooh... Arnold Postman and Rick both start a rung, leaving a gaping hole in the defence of the Monks!""

""Schaak fills the empty hole... Visser passes it back to Schaak... Shot...

"And the keeper is out of reach there, Schaak scores! Brilliant goal! Thomas Schaak makes the equaliser Nethertopia two, the Archregimancy two! The Falcons now might be able to take the lead. Still thirty minutes to make one, Robert!"

"Indeed, Peter. And Opdeheuvel makes two tactical decisions there. Joãio is coming off for Soro and Bakker replaces Postman, it looks like he's going for an all-out attack."

"Yes, Robert. Three attackers and two wingers on the field. Opdeheuvel is really eager for those three points. He's got a great point though, I mean, listen to that roaring crowd! The atmosphere is amazingly tense here. We're in for some exciting final thirty minutes! And we're off to Bob, who has yet another goal to report!"

"Thanks, Peter. We're currently watching the replay of the three to one goal, scored by Calabrese. Is Pasarga going to make this match exciting? Candelaria And Marquez to kick off... Cohen to Amey, Amey hits a long ball to Oliveira Tavares... Heeaaderrrr... Goal! Candelaria And Marquez are now leading four to one with Tavares putting one behind Vincze! The poor goalie has had a very poor qualification performance so far, conceding ten in six matches. And it isn't over yet... And here we go again. Right from the kick off! Cee And Em have the ball already, God's Power Adekuneeeeee.... just over the bar!"

Ricardo Wendell took a sip of his NethieCola, but he wasn't in the mood to enjoy it. Mostly he sat in this pub to enjoy the Falcons' matches, but this time he was actually waiting for Pieter van Delta once again. He had to accept his offer, what else could he do?

At least the match was exciting.

"Ah, there you are."

Ricardo turned around to see the Prime Minister of Nethertopia. "You're late..."

"Quite. I had some unfinished business to do, some Sargossans were bugging me about an embassy. I left the whole mess unfinished, someone at the office will take care of it."

"But... Isn't it you job to settle those kind of things?"

"Delegation is always appropriate, no matter how urgent the occurrence is."

Ricardo looked at the Prime Minister. He had always thought of the guy as a capable leader of the country, but now he started to have his doubts. Important parts of his job that he just delegated to minors... A sort of blackmailing... Corruption...

Was Nethertopia slowly turning into Candelaria And Marquez, or something?

"Anyway, let's get to the point," said Van Delta, disturbing Ricardo's thoughts. "Have you decided what to do yet?"

"Yes," answered Ricardo. "I don't like it and as soon as I have the money I'll pay those taxes, buy until then I guess I'll play the role of sugar daddy."

Van Delta's eyes twinkled. "Great."

"Don't count on my support in the next elections," added Ricardo. "I've seen plenty of enough work from your side to see that your government is a failure."

There was an 180 degree mood change in the Prime Minister's face. He scowled towards the young magnate, said "I'll have to leave now, We'll be in touch," and left the bar unnoticed. Ricardo had just angered the Prime Minister of Nethertopia.

Wendell laughed and turned around just in time, to see Ricky score the final goal of the match.
15-05-2009, 14:28
Meghan’s Space

Everything was rolling right along, and then we squander points. The critics come out and blame Michelle Baynes for using the same starting eleven in both mid-qualifying friendly games as were used during the qualifying, while we played teams like Sarzonia who played the reserves. Franz Braddock, an elder statesman that you listen to when he speaks his mind questioned why we took the games so seriously. He didn’t like Michelle Fuller’s celebration either, but that part of it didn’t surprise us. She is sorry about it, and does realize that she got quite carried away. Why weren’t we ready for West Newmanistan? That’s what the critics say, assuming that we weren’t actually ready for them. I didn’t have a problem with our preparation, and you also have to give some credit to the Patriots here. They are not that bad of a team to where someone like us should be expecting to get three points just by showing up. Preparation therefore, was not an issue. What could have been better was our execution, especially early in the match. They were beating us to loose balls, and we passed up some chances. I am to blame for one. I look at the highlight now of the 25th minute opportunity where I would have had Erica Daniels wide open on the left wing, and since Thomas Morelock on the other side was back deep with his coverage of Stacie Kerrigan, Erica would have been onsides. I didn’t see it. I passed to Stacie instead, and Morelock made a routine play for someone of his caliber. Erica didn’t give me much grief about it, but she did let me know she was open. A simple error like that cost us a good chance. Plays like that is what I am talking about when it was a matter of our execution, and not preparation. The mid-qualifying friendly games had nothing to do with this result. After falling behind, Katie Cincoski got a big equalizing goal for us.

Up next, we welcome the Milkmen to Concord Heights Stadium. They are one of four teams in a tie for first with us in the group. We’re undefeated, but have only won twice. Things couldn’t be tighter. Should any Milkymama people actually be able to find us on a map and attend this game, please feel free to teach them how to spell the name of our nation, because well, nevermind. People from there are just weird. Don’t worry about them though, you all were great for our home game against Jeruselem when we rallied for our victory and I know that you will be again. If we get these three points, things will be looking up for us.
15-05-2009, 14:55
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15-05-2009, 14:56
Fans Losing Hope As Embarrassment Continues

Just as the Wanderers supporters thought it could not get any worse, they were subjugated to a humiliating defeat at the hands of their regional neighbors and defending World Cup Champions, Candelaria And Marquez. The final scoreline was six to one, with Calabrese getting a poor consolation goal on the hour mark. Truth be told, the squad looks completely deflated now, as they have become acutely aware of the gap in talent between them and the rest of the world. Considering a squad like Achtervolging was able to come into the Stade de Torgos and take all three points, it has finally dawned on the players and staff that the goal of ten points now needs to be tossed away. Even the club game has taken a stumble with the national team, as Baskita FC was unable to achieve getting into the group stages of the TQCC despite a good showing in last round of International Cup Competitions. Many have attributed the failures of the clubs in the ICCs this round due to the poor morale of those players on the national team, and it would be very difficult to argue against that line of thinking.

For many fans, now the attention is turned towards the upcoming Cup Of Harmony, provided they are invited, and the hope that the Wanderers can shake off this horrible form by the start of that tournament. However, the manager has decided to try and introduce some change in the current line up to see if this qualification campaign can be salvaged by benching Vincze in favor of the lesser know Havasi of Baskita FC. Despite his tremendous club form in helping his Cafundelense club being promoted before being transferred this season, Vincze has not performed anywhere near his standard for the national team. There are hopes Havasi can come in and be a breath of fresh air in a defense that has more often looked like a side of amateurs rather than professional footballers. Markovčič has also been replaced in the attack by the promising Samuka Szatmári who has shone very well for his club in the CMSC despite the clubs' troubles.

The upcoming match against Rejistania looks to be the only brief glimmer of hope left for the Wanderers. Most people will recall that our only victory came away in Rejistania, nabbing an unlikely but deserved victory on the day. Rejistania however felt quite hard done by and will be looking to continue to pile on the misery for the Wanderers side and their supporters. While it is mostly pride that the side is left playing for, Calabrese desperately needs to have a good final four games to prove that he is more than just a good Super League striker.
15-05-2009, 14:56


"Yes yes, yes!"

"Oh, yes?"



"Why not?"

"I guess. So. How about our football team."



"Oh, sorry. Yeah football, they're doing well."

"Well? I would say very well."

"Yes! .... What, it was appropriate that time!"

"I guess. Hey did you know that the Sandrians have scored the second most goals?"


"Well it's true. Only the amazing, unstoppable, sensational, force of Candelaria And Marquez have scored more."

"Well that's a lie. We haven't scored more than say, Valanora have we?"

"Yep, five more than them."

"Err, Jereselum?"

"Nine more."


"Ha! Fourteen more!!"

"Wow.. Okay, so we've scored a few. Didn't we lose a game though?"

"Yeah to Sorthen Northland. But they're a very good side. Want to know another cool fact?"


"Us and Rennidan are the best second placed teams."


"We both have fifteen points. Most others at second place have ten to thirteen. We've only lost the one game and won all the others."

"Okay.... So we've had a good start, are we going to qualify?"

"I don't know. Football is a weird game sometimes. You can never count your eggs before they chicken."


"Eggs before they turn into poached."


"Okay, shall we do this? Are you ready?"


"Let us chess. Good luck."

"Yes! You too."

PQ Friendly:
@ Bears Armed 0-1.
Qualifying round one:
MD1: v Australiazia (Peisandros Basin, Delphi.) 5-0.
MD2: v Somewhereistonia (National Sports Arena, Olympia.) 3-1.
MD3: @ Edward City 2-0.
MD4: v Golgothastan (People of Ephesum Stadium, Ephesum.) 4-2.
MD5: @ Sorthern Northland 2-4.
MQ Friendly:
v Quintessence of Dust (Peisandros Basin, Delphi.) 2-0.
Qualifying round two:
MD6: @ Australiazia 5-2.
MD7: @ Somewhereistonia
MD8: v Edward City (ATI Stadium, Thasos.)
MD9: @ Golgothastan
MD10: v Sorthern Northland (National Sports Arena, Olympia.)
PQ Friendly:
@ Jeru FC.
Elves Security Forces
15-05-2009, 15:15
Valanora Times
Lady Oromë Hits Out At Cafundéu

Following the reply from the Cafundelense Empress Alice I to her nation becoming backlisted by Valanora, Lady Oromë has hit back at her counterpart.

"What purpose does it serve to hold ouu citizens ransom inside the country following the announcement? It further reinforces the fact that since her rise to Empress, Alice has treated the subjects within her realm with disdain and continues to throw away their life rights at whim. We have information regarding this Empress that clearly shows that she is in an unstable mentality and is clearly unfit to ruling the country. She regularly threatens to execute anyone she even suspects of not agreeing with her and her policies, as evidence in the recent ongoing trials regarding former CCFM employees. Our intelligence agency has recorded her threatening to execute anyone who dares support the cause of the former employees.

We also have evidence that the Empress is willing to use her authority to sway the outcome of this trial if it ever appears as if the prosecution begins to lose the battle. What kind of leader should interfere with a legitimate trial if the results are not going in their favor? This calls into question the legitimacy of the entire Cafundelense established government. If the Empress is threatening to use her power to sway the outcome of the verdict, then surely their has been occurrences of this happening in the past. If this is then true, then each and every trial that has occurred within Cafundéu is called into question. How can any verdict be seen as a perfectly honest result of the trial if the powers that be freely use their political sway to influence outcomes?

Yes, we remained vague in our reasoning for blacklisting her nation, but it was out of concern for her and her country. Yet by essentially holding Vanorian citizens hostage with her edict, we can no longer be so benevolent. You do what you can to maintain good relations with nations that have long been on good diplomatic standing with you even during trying times, but there are some actions that are intolerable. As a result of her quick and irrational reply, she has forced our hand and it is on her head now the outcome of these revelations. Our hands have been wiped clean of this mess and we will be looking for ways to circumnavigate this edict and return our citizens back to their homeland."

It is widely suspected that these revelations will continue the downward spiral of Vanorian-Cafundelense relations following last weeks revelation of the blacklisting. The biggest concern now is the safety of those Vanorian citizens inside Cafundéu. Their should also be a cause of concern for the citizens of Cafundéu with the revelation that their Empress has appeared to have lost her sanity, and has jeopardized the entire legal system of Cafundéu.

Article by Vlassas Drenit
15-05-2009, 15:54
The Macabees
15-05-2009, 17:30
Macabee National Team consolidate group leadership
Many had come into the second half of qualification expecting two consecutive defeats; one at the hands of the Yaforite, and the other at the hands of Newmanistan. But, in the past six games, there has been no team that has been able to extinguish the fire and hope from the souls of the players which make up the composition of this dynamic and successful squad. Certain qualification is only a match away.
[Striker Shost Glen celebrating his goal against Newmanistan, during the first-half]

Newmanistan—The Golden-Whites went from losing their first game, to winning their next six competitive matches. In a round where not many had put their money on the team qualifying in second place, let alone first, the Imperials have truly surprised the world. Most had bid on two Macabee losses; one to Yafor and the other to Newmanistan. Instead, the Golden-Whites handed their fans the pleasure of two secure victories. This means that the national team has extended their lead over Yafor to five points, and their lead over Newmanistan to nine points. Qualification seems right around the corner. Indeed, with only nine points in play, a win against the McLaughlin Islands (at home) would guarantee the Golden-Whites at least second place. As a result, one can expect that the next game will be one of immense work poured into winning by the Golden-Whites. On the other hand, the McLaughlin Islands is also in the race for qualification, and they are running out of games to make up points (they are three points from second place). And so, the next fixture will definitely not be a "walk over" for the Imperial squad. Indeed, it is probably going to be just as difficult as the games against Yafor and Newmanistan. In other words, the outcome is up in the air. But, if the team preforms like they did today, then there should be no worries.

One of the anomalies in today's game was the absence of Mika d'Angíel. With the three point lead over Yafor, and the six point lead over Newmanistan, it was decided to let the star striker rest. As a result, Shost Glen was including in the starting eleven, and the young man was interested in showing his potential "right off the bat". Manager Tíer Bergán decided to opt, again, for the increasingly common 4–5–1 formation (with a defensive midfielder), relying heavily on defense to stop the potent Newmanistani offense. The results have been incredible, after abandoning the original 3–5–2 formation, which did not offer the team a strong enough defense. The formation is also flexible, as the defensive midfielder (the position occupied by Sergi Bert, after Dertísh Malfor's injury) can be substituted with another defender, another attacking midfielder or another striker. Today, Bert was substituted by Nether Falsó, another striker, giving the team the offensive edge it needed to sentence the game late in the second half (as to be explained below). The point is that the Macabee National Football Team is not likely to leave this formation behind, like it did to the last one, as the results have been incredible. How many people expected the team to form the leadership of their group?

That's right! The 0–2 victory over Newmanistan has extended the Golden-Whites' lead over this particular team to nine points. It has also cast Newmanistan into fourth place, although they are expected to recover. Thanks to Yafor's away draw against Steroga (who have been staggering as of late), the gap between first and second place has grown to five points. McLaughlin Islands moved to third place, in the group, after a 3–0 slamming of Banten States, who remain last (with only three points to their name). Banten States is now the first team in Group Ten that can no longer qualify for the World Cup finals. Although Steroga cannot qualify for first place, it has an opportunity to qualify for second as long as it does not lose next its next game (against Banten States). Newmanistan can only qualify for first place if the Macabees loses against the McLaughlin Islands and Newmanistan, itself, defeats Yafor (an away game, this time). On the other hand, the Macabees will guarantee at least second place if they defeat the McLaughlin Islands. As a result, a win tomorrow could cast the team into the group of the first teams which qualify. The news is enthralling, as this (as already mentioned a thousand times across national newspapers) would be the first World Cup final qualification of the Golden-Whites.
[Nether Falsó celebrating the second goal of the game, which he created.]

Match Coverage

This time, the match did not begin in the opponent's favor. The Golden-Whites went immediately for control of the ball, and there were near immediate results. Although none of the early efforts on goal managed to put the visitors ahead, the first goal did finally come in the fifteenth minute. But, we should continue to emboss the fact that the first fifteen minutes were virtually controlled by the visitors, other than a few dangerous plays created by the home team. Regardless, the Golden-Whites had come to dominate. Unfortunately, Shost Glen's poor dribbling skills did not get him many places during breakaways, as he was quickly put in his place by the Newmanistani defense. But, the team went on evolving. It soon became the dominion of the Macabee midfield. The two most prominent figures were Terj Mitoraj and Santi Vervánt, the two partners, controlling the flow. They were like a dam. They metered the flow of the water. They could put the ball where they wanted. The could slow or speed the game. Sergi Bert was just as important, as the defensive midfielder provided a powerful first layer of defense, stopping balls before they truly became threatening. This is how it would last. Between these three players in the center, the two attacking midfielders (Joán Zeneti and Ses Dermán) and Shost Glen the game was in the Imperials' hands. One can even say that the Macabees deserved their early first goal, and a surprise goal by Newmanistan would have been "unfair" (although, admittedly, the beauty of football is the surprise factor).

But, the first goal was Macabee. Ses Dermán capably put a perfect center into the area. Jason Hargrove, Newmanistan's starting goalkeeper, came out to punch the ball out of the area, but made a fatal mistake. Shost Glen arrived first and headed the ball into the back of the net. The 0–1 was there. The stadium, apart from the handful of Macabee fans, stood quiet, as they saw their home team slump. However, the second goal did not come immediately after. Instead, the Newmanistani squad began to tenaciously defend their area and drive up field, in an attempt to equalize. But, the Macabee midfield and defense proved too much to handle, as they cut off attack after attack and set-up counterattacks which were not properly capitalized upon by Shost Glen. And so, the first half ended 0–1; the Golden-Whites had an advantage, but it was not a clear advantage.

The second half was much of the same. Possession was dominated by the visitors, but they failed to sentence the game. In the sixty-fourth minute, Bergán made his first change. Sergi Bert was pulled off the field and substituted by striker Nether Falsó. Although it cut an element out of the defense, it provided a helpful boost to the offense (a change in formation from 4–5–1 [4–1–4–1] to 4–4–2). However, there were still no immediate, dramatic effects. In fact, it seemed as if the initiative was passing to Newmanistan's feet. And so, in the seventieth minute, Terj Mitoraj was substituted by Georgi Rest, another central midfielder, and four minutes later, Bergán made his last substitution. Joán Zeneti, the star winger, was replaced by Mermán Gert. The new energy began to make an impression, and fortune would be on the Empire's side on the eighty-second minute.

Nether Falsó received a brilliant pass by Santi Vervánt, and the twenty-one year old striker managed a breakaway. Speedily moving away from the defense, he dribbled his way towards Jason Hargrove and the one-on-one became imminent. The young Macabee striker, however, played his cards right. Shifting to the left, he tucked the ball neatly to the right, entering the goal through the top right corner. It was a beautiful goal, and it gave the Empire the 0–2 it needed to sentence the victory. With only eight minutes left (plus injury time) and a two goal advantage, it did not seem as if Newmanistan had an opportunity to come-back. And it turned out true. The home team could never gain the initiative, and instead was castigated to another defeat. And so, the chasm between the two teams grew to nine points (where many had foreseen it to shrink to three points). And, Newmanistan threw away another good opportunity. A win would have decreased the point gap between them and Yafor to one point; instead, it is currently at four points. This could be disastrous for Newmanistan, which has been struggling to win a qualifying spot for the entire qualification round. Instead, Newmanistan now finds itself behind three teams, and dangerously close to fifth place (Steroga has eight points, as compared to Newmanistan's nine).

But, for the Golden-Whites, the victory was imperative. They are now undisputed leaders of Group Ten for at least another match day. Furthermore, the goal difference gap between them and Yafor has fallen to only one goal (positive ten as compared to positive eleven). However, the Macabee National Football Team is the team less scored upon in the group (only four goals allowed), which is a tribute to their skilled defense. Now, all that is left is to see if the team can put the final nail in the coffin and defeat the McLaughlin Islands. Guaranteed qualification would be a nice thing to have.

As striker Shost Glen put it, in the post-game press conference:

"The team is ecstatic. But, we are not letting this go to our heads. We will put our utmost effort into qualifying next game, against the McLaughlin Islands. They should be reassured that they will have to put their best efforts against us if they want to defeat us."

Manager Tíer Bergán was not less humble:

"I believe that a defeat in our next match would push back our qualification. But, at this point, I do not see it as realistic that the team will lose the next three matches. I think qualification is in the books. However, this is football and anything and everything is possible. We will still have to put everything into the next three matches."

When asked about his intentions to finish first, he said:

"Now that we are presented with the unexpected opportunity of finishing the qualification round first in our group, you can be reassured that we will do everything within our powers to finish first. It would be a great honor and a powerful finale, before we began the group stage of the World Cup finals. The awesome thing is that we are probably one of the least expected teams to qualify. But, we have done everything to deserve a qualification. Although the odds of faltering are now low, if that did happen it would be an extreme pain and completely unfair. I think it would have to come through a reversal of fortune, and not due to a lack in talent, skill, capability or will in our team. In the past six games they have shown plenty of all of that."
[The race for privatization of the national team continues.]

News about the privatization

Rumors about the bids for the national team have filtered to the press, and the price tag is exceptionally high for a team of this rank. Of the two bids put in, none of them are below Ŗ500 million (current exchange rate between Ríokmark and Universal Standard Dollar is 1 = 2.0033; source ( The winner is expected to be declared soon. Apparently, they are awaiting on a third potential bid. Furthermore, the relationship between the stadium and the team has not been completely worked out. It's not clear if the company to purchase the national team will also be purchasing of the national stadium, or if the stadium will fall into other hands.

More coverage about this will be available when the government makes it decision on the bids presented.
15-05-2009, 18:25
Purple Knights Get Back On Track

After their big Matchday 6 upset loss to Tyrrin the Purple Knights got back on track iwth their 6th shutout of the year defeating Hypocria 2-0. The Knights of course were on track before last week to possibly be the first ever team to go undefeated throughout the whole qualifying campaign and not let a single goal in. Fans of the soccer all around the wordl were giving Knights goalie Tad Montague the best as he was leading his team to a great season. Montague of course was not in last weeks game due to a freak accident after the qualifing game in Nethertopia and wasn't back on the pitch untill yesterday. Now that he is back and the Knights only need a win and a Nethertopian loss to advance things are looking good, but up next is the second Archregimancy game so the next 3 weeks will be interesting.

The Knights game was their third in the teams history agains an older team in the world which had recently returned. The Hypocrian Hippos took their field against the Knights and though they did not score they threatened all day to make the Knights pay for their problems on defense, and their bad offensive attacks. Brian Ying Uing scored the games first goal in the 50th minute on a Zeke Jr. Assist, and Doug Newier scored goal two on a ying Uing assist.
15-05-2009, 18:34
“Jeremy should have come back. How many times is this that we have been shut out now?” asked staff member Austin to Scott Davis.

“Well it all just proves that HGH doesn’t do anything for you. The man couldn’t come back, and these clowns can’t score. How do you people watch this crap, anyway? Give me baseball or real football. Hell, give me hockey!” replied Davis.

“You went out drinking with the rest of us when the Cougars won the NPL title, so you have watched it too. You weren’t calling it crap that night.” Austin countered as Davis simply snickered and replied, “I just wanted to see Sarah get all excited and I was hoping to pounce on the opportunity.”

“Good morning, gentlemen. Doctor Holmes will be here at ten. What opportunity are you pouncing on now, Scott?” Sarah asked as she suddenly walked into the office. “How long have you been there?” Davis asked nervously, then breathed a deep sigh of relief when she told him she had just walked in the door. “The opportunity to figure out why our soccer team can’t score. Jeremy should have been double-dosing with the steroids. This team is pathetic.”

“It’s some curse. Some Di Brandi Guy.” Sarah replied. “Di Bradini. Simeone Di Bradini. Starblaydi legend. Now our latest failure to qualify for the World Cup will just add to the fire that he has some score to settle with us.” Austin said to correct her.

“Guys, you know Shaina was robbed last night. She lost everything. It’d be great if we could get together and help her in some way. I’m gonna let her room with me for a little while.” Sarah pleaded.

“Maybe she’ll leave her boyfriend now. What do you want me to do, send her a card? She associated with the Crypstahs, they thought she stiffed one of them, and the Crypstahs took care of what they needed to do. That’s the way life is there. I’m sorry if I’m sounding heartless but I have a major story to worry about. I’m not concerned with gang retribution at the moment.” Austin said, and Sarah just stood speechless at that response. Davis was a little more compassionate, “She was very helpful to us. If it wasn’t for her, our status and profile are not on the rise. We could all probably leave Centralia and work in Pocono City now. Work on more hard hitting stories concerning the Empress then soccer. Oh sorry, football. I’ll write her out a check. Austin, come on now, man. We’re the number one station in Centralia now.”

“Thank you Scott. Austin, you’re a jackass.” Sarah responded. “Sarah,” Scott Davis interrupted, “Don’t let Shaina park her car outside your house. The Crypstahs are still going to be looking for her. If they notice her car near your house, you may be next. Actually, you will be, because they will probably think that your house is actually the house of her new boyfriend since I’m sure that’s why she got robbed. They were jealous and fearful that she was sleeping with someone else.”

“Shit! I didn’t think about that. It’s only 9:24, can I be excused?” Sarah asked.

“Don’t worry about it today. The odds that they would find her car so soon are pretty low. She’s at work now anyway, right?” (Sarah nods). “So don’t worry about it right now.” Davis said.

“She’ll be tailgated home from work. Come on Scott, you should be able to figure that out.” Austin said. “Not on the first day,” Scott said, “Too obvious.”

(Soon enough, it becomes 10:00. Well a little before, Doctor Holmes is a little early.)

“Good morning, Doctor.” Scott said.

“Yeah sure. (Looks evilly at Sarah, immediately knowing she was part of the undercover sting).”

“Oh I see you two have met.” Scott slyly says to the Doctor as he continues to stare at Sarah, “Let’s go over here to the table, so we can begin taping for the interview.” (They do so. Cameras point in, and the taping begins).

“I’m joined today by Doctor Richard Holmes, the man at the center of the SAPCO fallout. The Doctor was released on 20,000 GC bail on Monday and faces some serious charges, primarily dealing with the selling of illegal steroids. Amongst his clients were some well known Newmanistanian athletes, including Jeremy McAllister, the most prolific goal scorer in Newmanistanian football history. Jeremy is now an assistant coach with the Rockets powerless team in World Cup 46 qualifying, and soon to be Cup of Harmony 38. Doctor, I know this is a very difficult time for you, but thank you for coming.”

“Yeah, let’s just get on with it.”

“Tell us about SAPCO.”

“SAPCO is laboratory in Southport run by physicians’ such as myself. We all have offices, and we see patients, just like any other doctor’s office.”

“However SAPCO was willingly distributing HGH. It’s on tape that you were aware that Human Growth Hormone is an illegal steroid, yet you prescribed it to two patients that you had only seen one time. You cannot deny this.”

“There is nothing wrong with HGH. It’s legal in many different countries for a reason. If we could get our heads out of the clouds, and legalize it, then maybe we would have stronger athletes. Such as ones that can qualify for a World Cup.”

“That doesn’t make it right.”

“I was doing what was in the best interest of my patients.”

“Was one of those patients Jeremy McAllister?”

“Yes sir, he was one of my better patients.”

“Oh really, go on.”

“The pleasant Jeremy McAllister that you have all seen on TV being a spokesman for so many different companies, and being a so well loved and a role model is not the Jeremy McAllister that I know.”

“Tell us about the Jeremy McAllister that you know.”

“The Jeremy McAllister that I know was in it for the money and the fame. So much so, you’d think he was Secristani. He played favorites on the team, and wasn’t afraid to backstab a teammate, if needed. Poor Brett Carlson, who you now know that I also have been acquainted with was treated like absolute shit. Brett is 32, and if he were out there we wouldn’t keep getting shutout. But Yaschter hates him, and McAllister won’t have anything to do with him. He’s been blacklisted.”

“When did you first supply him with HGH?”

“In Valanora. Di Bradini Cup 9.”

“CUT!!!” Davis yelled to his cameraman, who obliged.

“Why did you do that?” asked the Doctor.


(Everyone in the area stares, and Davis apologizes for shouting.)

“I’m just telling the truth.”

“Lie. Lie to me, Holmes! You’ve done it for a long time with SAPCO, you can do it right now!” Davis says in an angry voice before settling down to more a salesman tone of voice. “Police Chief Dennis of the Centralia Police Department owes me several favors. I am going to cash them in. Holmes, lie to me. Then I get the charges dropped on you. Or at least, significantly reduced. The Empire doesn’t care about you. They care about McAllister. If I tell Dennis I will retract stories on him and not air stories that I could, he will let me be the godfather to his children. You do this for me, I’ll hook you up. Ok?”

“But I was arrested in Southport, not Centralia.”

“Dennis will have some kind of pull, I’m sure. Even if not, what do you got to lose, Holmes?”


“Exactly. So we good?”


“Ok, reshoot! And neither of you say anything about what you just witnessed either if you like your jobs.” Davis ordered his cameramen. This was very out of character for Davis.

“When did you first supply Jeremy with HGH?”

“Well actually he came to me after World Cup 43. He found it really difficult how we failed to qualify for that one.”

“43, you said. He’s still in Putnam Lake then.”


“Did you give him HGH then?”


“Did he take it?”

“Yes. As far as I know anyway. With all of the questions he kept asking me about it, I’d find it hard to believe that he wasn’t.”

“That must be hard for you to have to admit now, huh?”

“It really is, Scott. It’s really a shame.”

“Ok, that’s a wrap. Thanks Doctor, you were great.”

“I suppose, so you will talk to the Police Chief now.”

“Of course.”

(The Doctor leaves)

“Everyone, drinks on me!!” The segment will air at noon.
15-05-2009, 19:01
Rob News!!
You send me the shark, and I'll totally jump it.

We won another game, so that's cool: All right, so if y'all remember the last time I got put in charge of this thingy, it was World Cup 45 qualifying and we were so boned. I mean, we were bleeding points out the wazoo and Kosovoe were going to give us a big "blue tornado" in our "group table," if you know what I mean. But then I told y'all to get down on your knees and repent for your HGH injections, Arrozan-saddening puns, and misinformed belief that everybody wants to hear about the trials and tribulations of our giant robot army. Margaret blessed us with a winning streak.

Hopefully we're ripe for another, and last night's 2-1 win against Liventia helps. Yup, we're still up in second, but dammit, Silexhera just refuses to die. In fact, they're looking even stronger after bushwhacking Centurion. And the Bears beat Landau. These are two teams we couldn't score agianst last time we played them, so yeah. Start repenting, people.

So I'm looking at the scoresheet, and we've got, what, Florentino and Nagasawa got goals. We need Florentino to produce because he's the captain, he's got three in the last three games, all wins. Coincidence? Stats be damned, I say it makes a huge difference. And Nagasawa... yeah, so he plays with the elves, so we expected him to have learned something. But he's been as slow as the rest of this bunch, but hey, at least we're performing at a respectable level now.

And good defense, too, especially in the second half. Nagasawa got that second goal about five minutes after the restart and then we just did our best to hold them off. Oh, believe me, they were coming for us. They were hacking at our defense like a cat hacks at brand new sofa upholstery. But man, Komarov, he's been pretty solid this whole tournament, and even though he let that one flukey goal in, he shut them down hard.
The Liverp-- err, Liventia manager was rendered sad.

I mean, when you come right down to it, Liventia played a pretty solid game and had a real chance down the stretch. But they needed the team ahead of them to choke, but they didn't. Instead, the Wings played the kind of football we expected them to play all along, focused only on picking up their third straight victory. Yessir, eleven men united looking for a treble. And they nailed it.

We host Landau next, and you know, basically the next three games are our World Cup knockout stage. We have to win them all, no questions asked. We need to be careful, because they have the crazy down there and I bet they'll bring some of it with them. Is the crazy airborne? I should check with my doctor before I go to the match in person, because if it's safer to report from home in front of my TV, I'd rather do that.
15-05-2009, 20:39
As irritated as Franz Braddock sometimes seemed to outsiders despite the Stars earning a 5-1-0 record and a five-point lead on The Holy Empire with four matches to play, those same outsiders would be surprised to note the visible sense of relief that Braddock's face was etched with when he strolled into the media room following Sarzonia's 2:3 loss to The Holy Empire.

"We weren't particularly sharp out there," he said. "This time, it came back to hit us."

"I'm happy with the way our offence has played in the two matches against The Holy Empire. We've scored seven goals in two matches. I'm less than pleased with our defence conceding seven goals against them."

"Coach, when you walked in, it looked like you were almost happy to have lost this match. Why is that?" Travis West asked.

"I don't know if I'd say happy, Travis," Braddock said.

"Well, relieved?"

"More like it," he said. "I want the lads to learn how to handle adversity. Losing two friendlies isn't really adversity because the matches don't mean anything in the grand scheme of qualifying for the World Cup. Losing a match during qualifiers tells the lads they have something they need to work on. You don't have to create adversity now."

"Coach, any thoughts about the starting 11 for the home fixture against Krytenia?"

"We'll have 10 field players and a goalkeeper. Same as always."

"Aren't you going to make any changes to the starting 11, particularly the defence?"

"No. Look, at this stage of qualifying, we are who we are." Braddock looked down at his watch, then said, "I'm running late. I'd better get going." He then turned and walked out as reporters tried barking out questions.
15-05-2009, 23:17
World Cup 45 Qualification - Group 12
PRQ: vs 1-0 [99] Norwellia (@ Sanhaemun Football Stadium, Cheonjin - 60,000)
MD1: vs 4-1 [24] Jeru FC (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira - 55,000)
MD2: @ 1-0 [84] Kagdazka (@ kak po russky...?)
MD3: vs 5-1 [110] The Bear Islands (@ Potala, Lasa - 34,000)
MD4: @ 4-1 [132] Threetime (@ Triple Trisomy?)
MD5: vs 1-0 [57] Quintessence of Dust (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong - 150,000)
MQ: @ [33] 2-3 Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colesseum - a lot of small people)
MD6: @ 3-3 [24] Jeru FC (@ barbarians' hut)
MD7: vs 7-0 [84] Kagdazka (@ Silk Road Stadium, Seoan - 56,000)
MD8: @ [110] The Bear Islands (@ GAH! BARS! ... oh, that's bears, nvm...)
MD9: vs [132] Threetime (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong - 65,000)
MD10: @ [57] Quintessence of Dust (@ Arena of Dreams, Nowy Orpington - at least there isn't any trash here)
PTQ: vs Sarzonia (@ a floating raft cemetery in the middle of the ocean just 100 meters off the shore of Jonamdo - okay, fine... we'll find a real venue)

*** Samseong HQ ***

The discussions continued with Santa and the CEO in the room. Already aware that disturbing the CEO in this very important meeting was not very good for the company, the secretary was left with only one recourse. If he wasn't going to answer the call, then she would. The call came in and the answer was needed.

"How much do we bid?" the question came.

"What's a good amount?" came the reply.

"I don't know!" came the response.

The secretary pondered about it. "How about a bazillion weon?"

"If those Macabeans hear that, they'll laugh. We need a real number."

"How about 3.1415927...?"

"That's also ridiculous! We're not going to give them pi!"

"Well, could we make that a billion of them?"

"That's still a billion pi!"

"You said you need a real number, and I gave it to you!"

The man on the phone paused for just a quick moment. "Is this Yi?"

"No, the CEO is in a very very very busy meeting right now."

"Right..." They both had an awkward pause.

"I'll get you another real number as soon as I can," the secretary said, trying to push the conversation forward. She had another call on the line.

"I'll just wait for the CEO to give me a reply."

The speaker hung up. One down, one to go. The phone rang almost immediately after that call, with some news apparently.

"We've found some news about Wuseong!"

"What news?"

"Well, apparently, it's run by this college student who's also got his own country. They call him 'Emperor' and it's really weird because it looks a lot awfully like ours. But anyway, his company Wuseong specializes in a lot of things, including some superior products, but there is one special advantage that Wuseong hasn't that we do!"

"What is it?"

"Well, it's a foreign company for that matter. If this kid owns his own country, then Wuseong can be subject to rules concerning trade with foreign countries. Thankfully, none of our partners recognize this country, not even we do. And secondly, they don't own football teams that can mass-advertise their products. So if Samseong were to buy out the football teams in their country, we could totally subvert their market shares and take them over in an instant! We just need some money to make the deal go through."

"Okay...?" the secretary replied, somewhat confused.

"Splendid! I'll get the BFA on it immediately!"

Two down...

Would They Just Stop Doing That?

SEOAN - Okay, a draw away at Jeru FC is understandable, but a 7-0 thrumping of Kagdazka at Seoan? That's just... unacceptable! They ought to know that they cannot be going around trying to break records with this thing. They nearly had a double hat trick going on there, except Kim Mihyeon managed only to get an assist for that last attempt. And to do right after a draw is just mind-boggling. Can't they make up their minds?

Form is the biggest name of the game, and if you're not in form, you're not anything. So arguably, they were out of form coming into the Jeru FC, having lost away at Taeshan. They went down 3-3 draw. A good draw to say the least, as the Han - though defense totally stank from the getgo - made their chances work. And Jeru FC perhaps helped keep qualification within their grasp too. As for coming in at home against Kagdazka, drubbing them 7-0 is just too out of their out-of-form excuse. So maybe they could have wiped Jeru FC with some toilet paper (or however the euphemism goes). Maybe they could have blasted Taeshan to tiny bits (except they used a bunch of novice reserves). Just exactly what color are they?

It turns out that it's a placid rainbow color. Jeong Jihun featured brightly in both matches, but for different reasons. Against Jeru FC, he was caged in, had only one shot on goal (that went in, thankfully), and earned himself a yellow card. Against Kagdazka, he earned himself 3 goals, 2 assists, and managed to set up a free kick opportunity that Baek Jihun would capitalize to score the last goal of the match. Kim Mihyeon too! She was outstandingly phenomenal against Jeru FC (too bad she too only had one shot on goal, also went in), but when it came to completing her second international hat trick, she had to rely upon Mun Seongmyeong to finish up her tally.

For Kim Jongguk, it was a tale of two stories. Or whatever. Against Jeru FC, he was completely abysmal. He was continually riding out and letting those long distance shots kill him. Of course, we could harp on the defense too, but of three attempts on goal, you'd have to at least save one of them. And inn one of the most dramatic turnarounds, he managed to save all 7 shots on goal (once again, thanks to a leaky defense). Granted Kagdazka had the more worrisome defense, but to say the least, their striking department was at least bold enough for the task to try and salvage some glory from their guts. Of course, following the match, reporters were right to suspect that the Kagdazkan manager was drunk, after having spent a night in the local bars. It was supposedly a custom; I hope it wasn't one of those deathbed customs, although it was probably just himself. He was drunk for the first encounter too.

Good news to hear though, as the Han helped to eliminate the Bears who have Islands, and those people from Threetime who have nothing to do with the number three (I confidently expect Samseong to begin bidding for their country in a few hours, what with all of this non-sense ruckus about buying teams). In the meantime, we will have to settle for the alternative of having to qualify with the remaining other three teams in the Group.

To end up this little quidbit, someone for the love of God! Elune! _fill_in_your_deity_here_! beat those bloody Elves!

Goal Scorers
9 - Jeong Jihun
8 - Kim Mihyeon
3 - Baek Jihun
2 - Mun Seongmyeong, Pak Yongho
1 - Kim Gwangseok, Kim Yongji, Shin Ganyak, An Pilrip
16-05-2009, 01:16
Marie's Rant

OK, we beat The Islands of Qutar at home. But then we rarely lose at home. Now, we face Maggie team away. Sure we beat them 4-2 at home but that's because we have great record at home to most teams including the Purple Menace. This is a big game as Group 7 is too close. We have three games left, and we have four teams in the hunt.

Jeru FC beat the Quoddites 3-0 today. It means they have a two win buffer over the Quoddites. I think Jeru FC and them Han are going to make it group Group 12. Jeru FC have been excellent apart from that loss to the Han. Group 12 is a an easy ride for Jeru FC and the Han really.

Back to Group 7, Milchama has been dismal for the best seed and we've had two stumbles. The girls from Cassadaigua and them things from Gordon Bay City are leading the table. It means we really must win the next three games.

Milchama will not be easy to beat but I think a win as here for us. They play crap against girly teams and we're going make sure that happens. We need to win! A loss would be a just a disaster.

West Newmanistan aren't doing well, and we expect the team to beat them. They've had just one win and we really should beat them. Something like 5-0 would be nice and not one of those crappy 1-0 wins.

OK, the game I'm worried about is the one at home against Cassadaigua. They've beaten us 4-3 and now they beat Milchama 4-1. This time we are at home and have the advantage. They have great home form but Dazza Dallas Stadium is not for weaklings.

Should we get two wins and a draw, I think that would be just enough for scraping through. Milchama really need 3 wins now. Two wins would put in the hint but our goal diffence is letting us down. And our head to head against the Gordon Bay City mob and the girls is not looking good.

So I say, three wins. We do play two of better teams and after our dismal performances against the Gordon Bay City mob ... we need to pick our game. We can beat them but any loss would a disaster. I hope one of the lower teams beats our rivals because we need a bit of luck.

I don't suppose we could swap places with Jeru FC.

Oh, there's rumours I have got some kind of rash in the private parts who recent sexual encounters. Look, it's all crap. If I did have the rash, I wouldn't be playing football since it'd be really hard to run without itching too much. I haven't had sex for a while actually since I got the cold. It's not a rash, it's just I've need to get root ... not hard to fix.

It's all on the line here. We need to qualify. I mean if Jeru FC can qualify, and we can't - then how embarassing is that!
16-05-2009, 01:25
Paul cringed slightly at the sight of himself on telly. A fair few people were packed into the Serviceable Drum, a big-ish bar in Silica City, and every pair of eyes was trained on one of the pub's several screens. Six hour old footage of Paul Hart himself was being shown. He was walking around the pitch close to the fans, clapping and occasionally punching the air in what had, at the time, had felt like a macho display of manly victorious-ness but, once removed, appeared more like a Dad who had just scored a Strike at bowling. Paul cringed again and took a sup of his pint. He didn't usually drink beer, but when you're watching football highlights in a pub its sometimes difficult not to.

The highlights show had been, of course, footage of Silexhera's exhilarating 3-0 win over Stargate Centurion. In the nation's short footballing history it had become their highest ever win, and people were toasting it accordingly.

Paul had gone into the game with a slightly different game plan. Gone was the 5-4-1 ultra cautious approach, in its place came a slightly modified 4-4-2. The numbers made it seem like a drastic change but the team had slotted into it perfectly. Young Hogan Carbon, as the closest thing the squad had to a ball-playing defender, had replaced defender James Forrester and moved up into defensive midfield leaving a flat back-four behind him. Tam Doctor and Callum Holiday had kept their positions as wide men in midfield and Kelly Sporadic was once again given the responsibility of being the team's creative midfield talent, but number eight Yancy Fetcher had been deemed surplus to requirements and sub striker Panther Doctor, hitherto unused in qualifying, had come on as a second striker.

Panther Doctor was a better player than Gopher Sporaskid. There was no doubting that. His shooting was spot-on, he was comfortable on the ball and good in the air as well as having an eye for a defence-splitting pass. He did, however, lack the pace of Sporaskid, and pace up front is what Silexhera had needed for the first few games. Panther had been sitting on the bench every match getting more and more frustrated, and it hadn't helped that Sporaskid had started being able to score. The finish in the away win over Liventia had been followed by a brace in the return fixture, and it had appeared Sporaskid was here to stay. Tonight, with Silexhera going into the only match they had expected to be able to win even before they'd kicked their first ball in the competition, and Paul Hart's subsequent choice to go for a more attacking formation, was to be Panther's only chance to shine in the campaign. He'd done just that.

Silexhera had attacked from the off, their play so much more fluid than in preceeding games. Kelly Sporadic was seeing a lot of the ball and Stargate Centurion weren't seeing a lot of Kelly Sporadic. His runs had midfielders twisting and turning and defenders panicking. It took twenty minutes of fruitless yet enjoyable football before Silexhera scored, but it was worth the wait for both the fans and Panther Doctor. A second successive corner was half-cleared by the SC defence but flicked back into the box by Tam Doctor. The ball fell sharply from a high arc to his namesake Panther who, with an audacious show of confidence, killed it under his right foot as it landed on the corner of the six-yard box. He stood and invited a challenge which he duly skipped over with a nimble display of footwork before lashing a left-footed shot into the roof of the net from an acute angle. The fans had loved it and Panther had lapped up their applause, skipping in front of them with his hands in the air before turning his back and pointing his thumbs at the name and number on his shirt: "Panther 14". Picking the name to go on the back of his shirt had been an easy choice. The other option was 'P. Doctor', and that just sounded ominous.

Silexhera had failed to further capitalize on their possession advantage until half-time, with SC digging their heels in and breaking down play. In the second half they started threatening to score themselves, forcing mistakes from a defence that obviously felt a little exposed with a man missing in the middle. Silexhera's second goal then, on fifty-eight minutes, came as a surprise and effectively killed off the game for a dispirited Stargate Centurion side. Panther Doctor had turned provider this time, his pin-point cross-field pass from the half-way line dropping perfectly over Gopher Sporaskid's shoulder on the strikers route towards goal. Sporaskid's scuffed shot was bad, but equal to it was a defender's attempt to clear it as the ball rolled across the six-yard box, slicing the ball low to the edge of the area for Kelly Sporadic to place in the corner of the goal. Sporadic celebrated his third goal of the campaign in front of the joyous home fans as SC's goalkeeper shouted obscenities at his hapless defender.

Within five minutes Panther Doctor had put the game completely beyond doubt, throwing himself at a Kelly Sporadic cross and getting his head to the ball before the defender to bury it in the bottom corner.

Silexhera finished the game looking every inch the sort of team that would be challenging for qualification with the likes of Dancougar and Bears Armed - a nice change from their usual finales which usually consisted of desperate defending and whistles from the crowd. This time the final whistle came way too soon. Paul Hart had wandered onto the pitch celebrating, and that was that.

Paul's concentration had deserted the television screen. He was now focused on his pint. In a way. From the look on his face you could tell he was deep in thought. The group fourteen qualifying table had been pulled up at the end of the highlights show, to the tune of a few 'woooooh...' and 'wahay's.

Group 14 P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Bears Armed 7 5 1 1 9 7 +2 16
2 Dancougar 7 4 2 1 10 4 +6 14
3 Silexhera 7 4 2 1 9 4 +5 14
4 Landau Institute 7 2 2 3 7 5 +2 8

Stargate Centurion had been eliminated after the last round of fixtures, and Liventia's defeat at the hands of Dancougar had rendered it impossible to overtake both teams in second place. Sitting in the places around Silexhera were the three teams they were about to play in their next three fixtures. Paul's face formed into a slightly disappointed, yet accepting, smile. The game against Landau Institute was winnable. They'd scored a lucky victory against them away from home and they could well repeat that feat, but the other two games were away against the top two teams in the league and whats more they were six-pointers. It dawned on Paul that, realistically, they would only get one point from both those games. Even with an impressive win over LI, eighteen points would not be enough to qualify. Dancougar were on top form and were being expected by everyone but themselves to roll over Landau Institute in their next fixture before facing Stargate Centurion in what would surely be a formalit] y, even taking into account the fact that their first game yielded SC their one and only point in the group.

And yet, and yet, Paul felt it wasn't over just now. They would need a win over one of the big two, and they would need a win over Landrau Institute. It might happen. If they could get themselves to within three points of Dancougar by the final game then an unlikely win would, if goal difference went their way, put them through. A win over Bears Armed in their upcoming game would put them ahead of the Ursines with two to play, and matching the Bears point for point might just be possible. Just.

Paul wasn't making any hotel reservations in Adihan just yet.
16-05-2009, 04:16
(another session of the trial begins. This time, there are more than two hundred people inside the small room, and the place is pretty crowded)

JUDGE ALRADE - (arriving and eating some biscuits) "So, we are now ready to resume with the trial involving the accusations of the Empire against Carlos Alberto Urubupungá, Ronaldo Bustos, Michel Casaverde, Jonas Bigodinho and Marcos Jardins... what the hell is going here? From where did all this people come from?"

AGENT CAPIAU - "They all came to see the trial, Ms. Alrade. It was impossible to stop them, there are too many!"

JUDGE ALRADE - "I see. So it reached this point. I cannot see the door from here now! Actually, I cannot see you, agent Capiau!"

AGENT CAPIAU - "I am right at your right side, some four metres of distance."

JUDGE ALRADE - "It seems we'll have to continue the trial with all these people here. Well, there's nothing I can do, I won't call the police to create a confusion. The prosecutor is here?"

LORD NAPLAS - (speaking in the middle of the mass of people) "I am here!"

JUDGE ALRADE - "Well, I guess that hair near the clown's hat is yours, then. Defendants' lawyers?"

TRAVASSOS - "I am here."

FERRAZ - "Me too."

JUDGE ALRADE - "Oh, well... what about the defendants... I can see Bustos, he is tall enough... Michel I guess is that one, Bigodinho's moustache is easy to see even with so many people here... Jardins is that one in the sparkling suit... where is Urubupungá?"

TRAVASSOS - "He is close to me."

JUDGE ALRADE - "Hmm... is he that one between the Pope and that funny cartoon character?"

TRAVASSOS - "Yes, I guess that's him... no, that one is the famous Naked Poet... Urubupungá is the one between the wrestling fighter Pitbull de Mauá and the daughter of that TV presenter's neighbour's cousin."

JUDGE ALRADE - "Okay... well, I think The Scout is probably here too, but as he is very short, it surely is impossible to see him from here. If you're here, please come to sit in your place."

(The Scout appears and goes to his place)

JUDGE ALRADE - "Well, I assume Lord Naplas has plenty of other nations for you to comment, Mr. Scout."

THE SCOUT - "I bet he has."

(a hand appears from the middle of the mass with a box)

LORD NAPLAS - "Here Mr. Scout, take another ball from here."

THE SCOUT - "As you wish... which country will be now... let me see... Paripana. What is Paripana?"

LORD NAPLAS - "It is a country."

THE SCOUT - "Well, I know it is a country, after all it is in one of the balls, and it is supposed for the balls to have names of countries..."

BUSTOS - "Paripana is the name of the Unified Capitalizt States."

THE SCOUT - "But I thought the name of the Unified Capitalizt States was Unified Capitalizt States!"

JARDINS - "You must be living on the past. The country has changed its name a while ago."

THE SCOUT - "Okay, I got it. So this one is to talk about the deals involving the federations of Capitalizt SLANI and Jasīʼyūn."

LORD NAPLAS - "That's right. Go ahead."

THE SCOUT - "Well, how can I say... negotiations with Capitalizt SLANI and Jasīʼyūn have passed through many ups and downs. This is mostly because sometimes these federations don't release their lists of National Team players, and this makes us unable to send offers, as we don't have players to send offers to. So, it all depends on the availability of the players."

LORD NAPLAS - "So how could you describe the frequency the CCFM makes deals with the Paripana associations?"

THE SCOUT - "Less frequently than with most of the other nations we have a good link. And we have excellent negotiations with these associations, from Roy Hartenholm to Gordon. We usually make the same kind of deal we make with most nations... one cup yes, other not. But in their case, it'd be "one cup their post a list of players" yes, one not."

LORD NAPLAS - "And how much money is involved in these deals?"

THE SCOUT - "A lot. Millions, millions, millions, millions and millions. When we made the first deals with them, they had the best players in the world, although I'm talking about the players of Capitalizt SLANI in this case."

LORD NAPLAS - "And nowadays, does the CCFM make a lot of deals with the Paripana associations?"

THE SCOUT - "Well, with the same frequency it always did."

LORD NAPLAS - "And they had some negotiations during the last transfer window, didn't them?"

THE SCOUT - "Yes, I wrote some names of players from Paripana for the list. The intended prices were very high already."

LORD NAPLAS - "And I can guarantee Mr. Urubupungá earned a lot too! The claimed price of the players was once again much higher than the real one! This is in evidence number two!"

MR. X - "I saw that one before. That was a real evidence."

LORD NAPLAS - "No time to waste, Mr. Scout, take another ball so we can find even more evidences that Urubupungá stole money from the Empire!"

THE SCOUT - "Okay, okay, I'm doing it! Let me see... Sorthern Northland! We made five deals with them so far, only..."

LORD NAPLAS - "Tell us the details, the details..."

THE SCOUT - "We don't use money to pay them. Instead, we make deals with the Cafundelense army so we can send them military equipment or weapons in exchange for the players, who are packed inside a small box and sent to us by airplane."

JUDGE ALRADE - "What? They pack their football players?"

THE SCOUT - "Yes, but we haven't ever received a damaged player, they pack them well."

LORD NAPLAS - "Army equipment, hmm? This is getting more serious than I thought... what kind of equipment do you send to Sorthern Northland?"

THE SCOUT - "Tanks, submarines, jetfighters, missiles..."

LORD NAPLAS - "This is an international crime, not a national one!"

THE SCOUT - "No, it isn't, sorry. The negotiation is legal. We have the right to supply them if we want to."

LORD NAPLAS - "But I am sure this deal with the army brought many profits to Urubupungá too! We discovered that he announced that he bought many weapons from the army which he, in fact, didn't! This all to be able to write that he spent money that he deposited on his account!"

URUBUPUNGÁ - "Damn, he is discovering everything, what will we do?"

TRAVASSOS - "No idea."

LORD NAPLAS - "So, The Scout, the last ball of this session, before a break."

JUDGE ALRADE - "I decide if there'll be a break or not!"

LORD NAPLAS - "Sorry. Just take the ball, Mr. Scout."

THE SCOUT - "It's written... West Zirconia, Nethertopia and Krytenia... what? All three in the same ball?"

LORD NAPLAS - "That's because we have info that you'll say the same thing for both countries."

THE SCOUT - "Not exactly... it's just that our deals with them aren't special ones, are just the usual. And we didn't make deals with them during the last transfer window, so there really isn't a reason to comment about the CCFM negotiations with them in this trial."

JUDGE ALRADE - "Okay, then. Let's rest for a while... we still have three sessions until Naplas end commenting about the nations the CCFM negotiated with."


ALICE I - "This is so boring and tiring! Even they can't stand this trial, look at them! Always stopping for a while, to return and do the same thing until they get tired again! Why Alrade can't just declare them guilty and send them to prison! He is one of my Counsellor-Ministers!"

BARON BOSHCKE - "But she is also a judge, and has to reach a fair decision."

ALICE I - "Fair decision, bah! I am her fair and lovely Empress, I want them bad, and the fairest thing to do is to please me, don't you think."

BARON BOSHCKE - "Well, my Queen, the fact is that..."

ALICE I - "Are you hesitating? So you put in doubt my decisions once again? In which side are you? I gave you the position of President of the CCFM and you come trying to backstab me? How dare you?"

BARON BOSHCKE - "It's nothing like this, Your Majesty, I was just commenting the she has to follow the procedures."

ALICE I - "Oh, how I wish she hadn't..."

PRINCE HECTOR - "There is nothing you can do, my dear. We just have to wait."

ALICE I - "And to make things worse, that confusion with Valanora has started! They seem to really want us away from them, I read so many disgusting things they wrote about me! My blood boils when I remember them, I want to scream and cut some heads off!"

PRINCE HECTOR - "But I think you are exaggerating, my daughter... we could have negotiated, diplomacy could be used... we have good relations with the Vanorians."

ALICE I - "Good? Hah! I don't trust people with pointed ears... they are plotting behind us, I can sense it, I can smell! But I'll laugh at the end, surely I will... hahahahaha! What are these faces? Don't you agree with me? I will ask again... don't you agree with me?"

BARON BOSHCKE - "Of course I do, Majesty."

ALICE I - "Better this way. Know your position."

PRINCE HECTOR - "Alice, be reasonable, we have to talk with them, not to act against them!"

ALICE I - "Ah, shut up!"

PRINCE HECTOR - "What have you just said to me? Did you forget who I am, lady?"

ALICE I - "Sorry, dad... I feel so strange... I have to go to the bathroom, excuse me."

(Alice leaves)

BARON BOSHCKE - "It is getting out of control, my Prince... she is starting to disrespect even you, her father! I think she is really going mad!"

PRINCE HECTOR - "I fear this too. When I resigned, I thought she was prepared to rule the country, but it seems I was wrong... it was too much pressure for her, she can't stand it anymore!"

BARON BOSHCKE - "And what can you do?"

PRINCE HECTOR - "Nothing. She leads the country now, mad or not!"

BARON BOSHCKE - "But she must be replaced!"

PRINCE HECTOR - "She has to resign to be replaced... but then another problem comes: Raúl Conte, her son, is only twelve years old, can't rule the country!"

BARON BOSHCKE - "But you can appoint your son as his tutor!"

PRINCE HECTOR - "Which one?"

BARON BOSHCKE - "The oldest!"

PRINCE HECTOR - "But Rogério and Miguel are twins! We can't decide who would assume!"

BARON BOSHCKE - "You never thought about this situation before?"

PRINCE HECTOR - "Of course not! Alice is older than both, she was the heir, so I never thought Miguel or Rogério would end as Emperor! How would we decide? The one who left Anne first is the heir?"

BARON BOSHCKE - "No idea."
16-05-2009, 04:39
Fromburg Free Press
World Cup 46 Coverage

A 2-0 win over Yelda has Qazox just a win away from a 14th appearance in the World Cup. 2 goals from Angel Kenworthy, in the 56th and 70th minutes to lead the team to the win during a very wet and muggy night.

Next is the rematch of the 5-4 shootout against Starblaydia at Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City. A sell out crowd of over 98,000 is expected with QSPN coverage provided at Ganja Vodka Gardens for free to the first 16,863 in line. Both teams can clinch a World Cup berth with a win or a draw, provided that Dariusville and Rymeria either both lose or draw.

THE Fromburg Free Press PRESENTS
The 6th Best Player
in Black Oxen/Pheonix Footballing History

Player: Yancy Fry
Played in: World Cups 35 to 38.
Caps: 58
Goals: 34 (2nd most in team history)
Best Moment: Scored winning goal in 93rd minute to defeat The Holy Empire at World Cup 36.

Yancy is currently the Assistant Vice President of Ganja Vodka.
Landau Institute
16-05-2009, 04:56
sorry for this, but the post was too deformed to continue in this spot.
Landau Institute
16-05-2009, 04:58
WORLD'S MOST THREATENING DISEASES - THE ARCHREGIMANCY'S TRIAL PLAGUEDiseases that have reached the Landau Institute and how to get cured from them
An original series by the Lowrni Island's nicest country (and the only one)

And now we return to our series that show you the world's most threatening diseases, those which can be really menacing if they spread through the world in a pandemic (although the Cupid Syndrome doesn't fit in this category). But the Landau Institute is here to preventing this from happenning, working hard to discover the cure for these dangerous conditions. And, today, we'll comment about a disease that mixes science with religion, mystics and reason. This due to the fact that the disease first appeared inside The Archregimancy, in the Dreamed Realm. First, it is believed that it is caused by what was just a simple virus that didn't cause any ilness in people, but one that suffered a mutation when inside the Dreamed Realm that changed it completely, becoming the Trial Plague virus. When it started infecting monks from The Archregimancy, the local population started to believe that the plague wasn't a medical condition, but a warning sent by God, to bring to His faithful regret from the sins they committed. For others, it wasn't a warning, but a test, in which God exposes His servant to extreme suffering and humiliation, to see if he is really able to endure the difficulties for the Lord.

The effects of the Trial Plague contributed to the belief that it was something related with religion rather than medicine: the monks affected would start to lose their hair, which would include their precious beard. This is the point where, according to the monks' belief, the divine test starts, and the affected people are separated from the others so they can fully concentrate in their prayers. Also, they would gain a lot of weight, at a point where their monastic clothes wouldn't suit them anymore. Rash would come later, among with extreme pain, considered "the most important phase of the Trial." In the most severe cases, the symptoms end associating the Trial Plague with the popular version that it is a warning from the skies: the person starts to vomit a lot and lose the senses, which is viewed as some as "the guilt trying to get out of the body." All attempts of the Institute to warn the monks that it would probably be a medical condition were useless, and they continue suffering from the Trial Plague instead of looking for a cure. Many deaths have happened, although curiously many monks have survived the disease, which lead us to believe that some effective treatments include: holy water; hours of prayers without a single minute of rest; wine; and a lot of faith. There are few cases of the Trial Plague outside the Dreamed Realm, and all of them resulted in death, probably due to lack of faith and willingness to pass the trial.
16-05-2009, 05:31
Griffinville Gazette

A goal in the 91st minute by Spot, sees the Canines 5 points clear of theire next opponents, Arroza. A win woulkd clinch a World Cup berth for Prux, while a draw would force them to win one of their last two games to qualify.
Jeru FC
16-05-2009, 07:39
Kayes's Blog

We beat the Quoddites today! OK, it wasn't a pretty win ONE NIL but it's still three points. Our captain scored a goal for once. He didn't get himself sent off either which is a surprise, since he likes being a dickhead at home. I shouldn't say bad things about him but he's a dickhead stil..

Good to see Jeruselem back with a win over the Qutar mob. It's not Qatar. Some names can be confusing. Anyway, we are in a better position than Jeruselem but I'm sure our Princesses will prove to better than those other teams.

Yo, keep looking at my videos. I haven't done one for a while but I'll be working on one soon. Some of you seem keen on this live ordinance thing, but NO. I do want to die in an embarassing way. Not to mention, it's not easy to get hold the right sized ordinance. Apparently tracer rounds seem optimal but they are rather unstable and very dangerous.

We did more penalty kick practice but we aren't getting any better. Gray still somehow gets ball to go the wrong direction. So the coach called in Flak Sho, that's husband of Princess Jacinta Sasha Dallas. He's still good looking and he knows what he is doing. Since he's a guy, his style suited the guys more than the gals but we all got something out of it.

OK, Kaye here has some money for a new car. My scooter has been sold a long time ago and my current el-cheapo Asian car is crap. Yes, I get around but look like some poor low class slut. OK, that's me now ... but I want to look like a high class rich slut OK.

I've found this nice BMW convertible but the price is too high. The owner is a female so sleeping with owner isn't going to work. She's getting a new Mercedes thing which I can't afford. We're talking rich people here, like Jacinta Dallas who I think has a Porshe convertible. I'd like one of those Verons but Kate Dallas said you need a few million.

For now, I have send my car into service. The engine is just f**ked and it's not going anywhere. I'm getting a friend to pick it up when it's done. It's the one with JERU KAYE number plate and two bullet holes.

Must go now, apparently I have go clean up a blocked toilet in the officer's area. I don't want poo in my computer here.
16-05-2009, 11:48
Akbarabad on the brink of qualification.

(Akbarabad press, AP): Samin Akbar's second brace of the tournament, gave Akbarabad a comfortable 2-0 away victory over Philips Island and more importantly, a five point cusion over the third placed team. The team next entertain third placed Kosovoe at home and a win here with favourable results elsewhere would virtually guarantee qualification for the Tiger Eaters.
16-05-2009, 12:17

This time, that Lemetel soup packed some punch, and the Millionaires found themselves in a game that was highly competitive. From the start of the game, it was obvious that our players had done little preparing for Lemetel and more extra-curricular activities. Two players, midfielder Matthew Marino and striker Michael Cardona had to be late scratches from the starting lineup because they were in no condition to play. According to Fullerton, “Marino and Cardona showed up for the game intoxicated. Now I am aware that this works for teams like Sorthern Northland, and if their buzz wasn’t that great, then I may have considered it, but these two were way out of it.” Fullerton, therefore, needed to start Brian Marcott to replace Marino and James Rogan to replace Cardona. That was his plan, anyway, but Marcott was no where around. “Apparently, Brian had the gametime wrong and thought it started five hours later in what it actually did. He was 20 miles away from the stadium, and was breathing rather heavily on the phone, so I just told him to stay where he was.” Fullerton said. Marcott lost then what would have been a starting opportunity, and now it would be Curtis Coleman. Just one problem. Coleman had tweaked his hamstring last night doing some kind of dance at a Lemetel dance club, and was unavailable. So 23-year old Justin Simon, who has no international experience in any capacity, and has been a reserve throughout would not only be activated, but would start. The makeshift lineup had trouble early, with Simon making a couple of critical errors of inexperience. Lemetel took advantage of this, scoring twice in the first 15 minutes. Rogan got the Millionaires back to within one in the 26th, but the two goal lead would be restored in the 39th, sending the game to halftime with a shocking 3-1 score in favor of Lemetel. The Millionaires were stronger in the second half, and asserted themselves better, and managed to have the game tied up by the hour mark. Todd Carney and Chris Coventry scored the big goals. A defensive blunder in the 73rd minute, led to a fourth Lemetel goal, and now we were really have bad feelings about this. Fortunately, Eric Fraser became an unlikely goal scorer with a very unlike and uncharacteristic run up the field. With his teammates urging him to pass, Fraser would not. He made some nice looking moves and took a nice looking shot and it would tie up the game. About the goal, Eric said he was “Possessed by his wife.” Eric is married to Cassadagan striker Stacie Kerrigan. It salvaged something for the Millionaires, but Ryan Fullerton was very unhappy with the way his team had no focus for the game, and blamed them for the loss. Marino, Cardona, and Marcott will be benched for the Opereta game.

Fans have no right to criticize the lack of desire many of our players had to play this game, because you didn’t exactly have any desire to purchase the pay-per-view, did you? The SDOS reports that purchases for this game were the lowest of any qualifying game so far during World Cup 46. We realize that there are a lot of people out there that did watch it, but the numbers overall are very low. So unless you are one of those people, we don’t want to hear you whine about this being a costly draw. We were there to report the game, so we can. This was a very costly draw, as the Millionaires failed to capitalize on a Capitalizt loss. Opereta pulled off a stunning victory, 5-3, making us wonder if SLANI was just as unmotivated. We are still on the outside looking in, but still have a very good shot. Hopefully, Opereta will have “scored themselves out” and be flat for our game against them here at Megabyte Industries Stadium.
Gordon Bay City
16-05-2009, 13:03
“Nonononono, cam arrrn! Sliding tackle on this surface, d’you have any idea how dangerous that is?”

“Alan did flay out of ze vay, Herr Baker,” Friedelinde offered sweetly from the substitute’s bench.

“That’s not the point! There was clear intent there, ‘s got to be a straight red and a pen, come on!”

Out on the pitch, the referee glanced back and forth between Mark Baker, Michael Dressler, the camel, Kevin Moran, the flying head, and the camel. The camel was proving a sticking point. Finally, with a resigned swish of a hand, he reached into his pocket and flashed a red card at the Mordavian defender with an apologetic grin, and pointed to the spot. Amid howls of derision from the thirty-thousand locals, Mark applauded.

“I shupposhe it’sh too much to hope we ever get a penalty fairly, ishn’t it?” Stellan Blå muttered from beneath the Sainsbury’s carrier bag he wore on his head, the general consensus being that the willowy defender would turn to stone upon interacting with sunlight. He was sitting next to Friedelinde on the bench, whittling a golden bracelet and being fed a running commentary by Keith, the irksomely helpful brownie.

Mark wondered vaguely quite how his life had gone down this path.

“They all count, Stell,” the manager replied cheerfully, and nodded his approval as Alan put away the visitors’ third penalty of the afternoon. “Furio! Push up you great hairy bast… er… footballer, you’re defending far too deep! Aino, you’re not finding Otters! Keep it low, lad!”

“I am zhure zey are managink, Markus…”

“I’m merely looking out for my boys and girls, luv,” Mark replied, with a touch of pride. Sure, they were all a trifle eccentric, and occasionally made one feel somewhat queasy, but watching them beat up the West Newmanistanians Mark realised that they were his. They were his boys and girls, and floating heads and gender non-specifics, and he hadn’t had that feeling for a long while. The Big Blues could’ve done with a floating head against Miamoria, he decided. If only he’d realised it at the time.

Presently, the fourth official caught his eye and tutted pointedly – flying strikers were one thing, but allowing a manager to step outside his technical area was a considered a hanging offence over at the WCC Refereeing Panel – and Mark wandered away to lean against an advertising hording and survey his handiwork. In time, a biro developed in front of him, followed by an autograph book. The old man beamed inwardly.

“Been a long time since I’ve been handed one’ve these,” he sighed, scrawling his signature.

“Thank you, Mr Baker,” an earnest voice behind him whispered, “I’ve been an admirer of your work for many years!”

“Cheers,” Mark replied absently, as a fierce eyeballing session between Corey Aguirre and Kxaŋ͡ǂi’s left foot went the way of the Gordon Bay City starlet. The thing lofted the ball in towards One-Who-Giggles-At-Otters, who rose high and planted the ball past Sean Morrison in the West Newmanistanian goal. Behind Baker, another flock of locals migrated to the exits, muttering personal death threats.

“Cor…” Mark whispered, largely to himself, “Might actually make it this with lot…”

“You, er, didn’t make it to the World Cup finals during your previous tenure in international football, if I remember correctly,” the fan behind him commented.

“Aye. Would’ve done. Got lost down the sewers with three games to spare, as I recall. We’d just beaten the mice an’ everything… Pity. ‘Course, Ricardo took my job after that, and we all know what happened then…”

“Erm. Yes, yes,” the fan nodded fervently, whilst the sound of a certain amount of desperate shuffling wafted around him. “Yes, that’s right,” he continued gratefully, “They lost six-nil to Demot. And Mr Garcia attempted to throw himself off the side of a major high street bank…”

“Aye, aye,” Mark agreed. “Always ahead of the times, our Ric. ‘Course, it wouldn’t’ve been a trip to Kura-Pelland if someone hadn’t got themselves stuck up a tall building,” he sighed wistfully. “Great days, they really were. When men were men an’… gnomes were gnomes, and never the twain shall BN-CHM! MARK YOUR MAN, YEH PODGY GET! NO SLOUCHING! meet. Everything’s so mixed up and confused these days…”

“Right, right,” the man agreed enthusiastically, “Couldn’t agree more. So… I take it you’d grab any opportunity to get away from this hell-hole and back into a proper country, right?”

“Eh? What, West Newmanistan? Not what I’d call textbook hellish, mate…”

“No, nonono… I meant Gordon Bay City. Faeries and floating heads all over the place… I mean if, hypothetically like, you could be smuggled back to actual Candelaria And Marquez, like, now, and retire to your slippers and some manner of small dog… You’d leap like a salmon, right?”

“Eh? You’re having a laugh, aren’t you?”

“I… no. Not really. I don’t tend to, as a rule.”

“Mate, I am this far from leading a team at the World Cup finals. I ain’t never done that before. And I’m certainly not going t’get the chance again, if I balls this up! I might be fit as a fiddle an’ have all me own teeth, but I won’t be around forever. If there’s a chance, if there’s just a chance of me being there, after all this time… I’ve got t’take it. You understand, don’t you?”

“Not as such… I’m not really into football, I don’t oh bugger…”

Mark turned around and grinned. “So you just go back to Morton, or the CAMAFA, or the damn Ministry, or whoever you work for, and tell ‘em I’m happy where I am.”

The man nodded, slipping down off his seat and turning to climb up the steps towards the exit. “Of course, Mr Baker. Sorry for troubling you…”

“Not at all. Hey! What was the C&M score, then?”

“Um… One-all, I think.”

“Right. Good. Overconfidence isn’t going to get ‘em anywhere.”

“You take care of yourself, Mr Baker,” the man sighed as he clambered away.

“You too, Mr Man, you too.” Mark turned to the pitch once more. “WALTER! YOU’VE GOT ACRES O’ SPACE THERE, USE IT!” he screamed, his face a picture of utter contentment.


Joshua glanced back and forth from the ball to the tree. This shot, he knew, would take free-kick judgement of Cohenic proportions: the perfect angle, the precise flight, the exact amount of power. Of course, the rain provided a different factor, but…He leaned back, clenched both fists, and hit it. The ball sailed into the sky, took a curve at the very last moment, and smashed through the leaves before meeting with an object more solid than itself with a thump. It dropped to the pavement like a stone and bounced a bit.

“Ow,” the tree muttered loyally.

“Thought you were up there,” Joshua grinned.

“Plainly, you are blessed with perceptive abilities beyond the conventional scope of your species.”

“Nah, I spotted yer curly boots,” the Candelariasian boy replied convivially, before pausing. “Hey… Was that a joke?”

“I have been practising the human art of sarcasm, Joshua Harris.”

“Oh. You’re a natural. Room up yer tree for two?”

The tree emitted a noncommittal meh, and Joshua hoiked himself up several slippery branches. Really awfully slippery branches, as it turned out, and the boy found himself milliseconds away from dashing his brains out on the street below before an outstretched hand was provided. He hauled himself up onto the sturdiest branch.

“Thanks. Very symbolic. Pity no-one else was around to see it…”

“We could repeat the exercise in a more public environment, if you wish. Perhaps not right now however…”

Joshua squinted carefully at the very damp, and none too chuffed, faerie. “Not a fan of the rain, are you?”

“It is unnatural…”

Joshua shrugged. “Not my opinion, but I won’t get into a row about it. Science ain’t my best subject, and the lessons they given us over at the compound mostly focus on hand-to-hand combat at the moment…”

Keikea looked up. “And now you are joking, yes?”

“So where does your water come from then,” the Candelariasian continued quickly, sidestepping the question, “If it don’t drop out of the sky?”

“It is excreted from the Nalanakala.”

“You drink maggot’s piss?!”

“You drink everybody’s ‘piss’, Joshua Harris. From what I have been told of your water supply networks.”

“Yeah. Um. So… great win for Gordon Bay City, eh? Four-nil away, that’s pretty special…”

“I did not watch it.”

“Oh. They were showing down the compound, we were getting quite into it. Go, floating head! Woo!”

“We do not ‘woo’. In any case… They are not my team.”

“Sure they are! Definitely had WNW nil GBC four at the top, anyhow. Dunno anybody else who’s got that tld?”

“They are not fae! Camels and gnomes and hutchen… It is an insult!”

“Aw, where’s your patriotic spirit, Cake? It’s still your country, innit? You should be supporting them, you traitor! Heil to the floating head! Gawd bless ‘er!”

“The irony of the situation does wound me, I can assure you.”

“That’s cool. We back on equal terms, then?”

“I… suppose so. And I apologise…”

“For chucking that thing at yer auntie? Yeah, what was all that about out? I got the distinct impression I only escaped alive from that by the skin of me teeth.”

“You did. Touching the Queen’s shadow in that manner is… strictly forbidden. Even by accident. Even by a human. Under normal circumstances, your life expectancy from that point forth would have been short indeed. I do not know what happened…”

“Eh, maybe she’s just growing nice in her old age. Cheers for trying to get me killed, by the way.”

“Possibly it was a slight overreaction.”

Joshua nodded. This appeared to settle the matter. He clambered down a few branches and jumped the rest of the way, scooping the ball up into his arms.

“You coming, then? Rain’s clearing up…”

“No it’s not… It’s just as bad as it ever was…”

“So? It’s invigorating. Come on, consider it penance for thy sins!”

Keikea frowned. “Very well.”

The faerie slithered down the tree and broke into a run to keep up with Joshua, receiving a pass on his chest and bringing it under control with a minimum of fuss.

“Nice. You’re improving.”

“Thank you…”

“Did you use a contraction back then, by the way?”


“You so did!”

“I didn’t! Oh, curses…”

Joshua nodded smugly. “It’s a start. Really going to have to work on some better swear words though… Oh no you don’t!” he shouted, as the Kolani boy attempted a dummied back heel. The Candelariasian took the ball with a sliding tackle and powered off down the empty street, Keikea storming after him and laughing in the pouring rain.


Debbie Baker… She needed Debbie Baker, everything was going to go wrong unless she… Where was she?! Leohi scrambled through the dark corridors of the faerie realm, thorns stinging her underfoot, the floating head gaining, gaining, grinning…

She turned the corner and… But that wasn’t right! Suddenly she was on the balcony overhanging the vast cavern, and ten thousand faerie roared their approval. She broke into a broad smile, as her kin celebrated the arrival of their anointed Queen, but… Puao stood in one corner, his arms folded, shaking his head. She appealed to him, her hands open, seeking her tutor’s insight. But his eyes remained dead to her, and the floating heads were buzzing around her body, giggling and swooping, and the crowd… the crowd were laughing at her! How dare they presume to…

She glanced down. She was naked as the day she was born, and the heads were biting at her, and the vines were twisting around her legs and digging into her calves, and…

Leohi didn’t scream. She couldn’t even if she’d wanted to. A lead weight was pressing down on her chest, a rubbery but deceptively powerful hand wrapped around her throat. Her eyes stared into the gurning smile of her tormentor.

“Ghah…” she tried, splurting out a sound of defiance.

“Aareet, mistress Quin? Had a bonny kip, did yee?”

“Get… off… me…!”

The svartálf appeared to consider this. “Nar na. Na why wud ah want tuh dee a thin leek tha’?”

“You do not scare me, daemon…”

“Nar na. I divvint suppose wuh dee, mistress Quin. Neewt very mich scares yee, Quin iv tha Faeries. Does it?”

“No! Nothing! And you are nothing, daemon! You and your foul kin! Big squidgy… bags of nothing!”

The svart giggled. “Big bags iv nowt! Big ol’ bags iv empty!” The creature suddenly bent forward, its slightly translucent, sticky face millimetres from Leohi’s own, tugging at her hair for grip. “We’s are everything, mistress Quin!”

Leohi tried to shut her eyes and make it go away. A thin hand shot forward and peeled back an eyelid.

“Neet leek that! Cannit myek us gaw awa’ leek that!” the svart laughed.

“You can’t…! You… You can’t. Whatever you are, daemon, you can’t stop me. The wheels are in motion, I only need…!”

“Cannit stap us neeo! Ahm havin sich a good time!”

“Shut up! I… I command you to…!”

The svart sat up, its toenails digging into her thighs. “A ward iv advice, mistress Quin? Watch your back. An’ we’ll lyeuk eftor yor front!”

The creature bent forward once more, planted a wet kiss on Leohi’s forehead, and disintegrated, its shrill giggle resounding into the night.
16-05-2009, 13:37
The King of Jeruselem having breakfast with his mother Kate Dallas ...

King: I didn't realise I had to go to so many meetings.
Kate: You're a leader now, you have to make decisions. Meetings are just part of it.
King: Now, what does talk about in four hours with the Catholic church?
Kate: I think they are giving free advice about how Catholic King should conduct himself.

King: Oh, that's OK then.
Kate: They'll tell you not go marry a prostitute or stuff like that.
King: But Dad married you ...
Kate: Yes, he did. I mean it's guidance and advice. They want to be like King Louis IX of France but reality you're going be like someone else.

King: What about marrying foreigners?
Kate: That's fine ... as long as they think she's a good Catholic girl.
King: I don't know any of those.
Kate: Don't worry, I find you a wife.

King: I suppose that Matilda Dallas is out of the question.
Kate: Yes, her father is my brother. But Hikfie Dallas's daughter Hanna is fine.
King: But she's a bit weird.
Kate: She's grown up as a Bostopian and her father is Bostopia and you know her mother wasn't a genius either.

King: Hey, what about Qazians?
Kate: Yeah, I like Qazians. Marie does too.
King: She married one I guess. That Oksana Ferris girl is already not single.
Kate: Yes, she's dating Billy Prescott from Newmanistan.

King: What about Nikki Seabourne?
Kate: Which one?
King: Err, I think the daughter.
Kate: She's OK. She's got small boobs though. I know what type of girls you like.

King: I heard Kara Kool was a single daughter.
Kate: Yeah, but she's under 18 still.
King: Both the Sallad girls are married too.
Kate: Well, you need to maybe talk to that Qaz Daz.

King: She's cute and seems smart.
Kate: We'd better finish up, you've got some meetings.
King: Looks like all my spare time is gone.
Kate: Actually, all your spare time was taken up with army training anyway.

King: I guess there's no spare time now.
Kate: what about Lara Bingle?
King: I think she's not actually single either.
Kate: What about that Jeru FC player, Kaye.

King: Doesn't want out of the army?
Kate: I think she does.
King: I can't blame her either.
Kate: She's a hard working girl. I think she's not bad person either. Her family are worry though as I've said before.

King: I'd better get going.
Kate: Oh, Sadie Dallas has an interview fwith you on Naked News tonight. Yes, she is actually dating someone.
King: She wasn't on the list.
Kate: But she's eligible.
16-05-2009, 13:47
Meghan’s Space

Home sweet home! We beat Jeruselem here, and now Milkymama just the same. We don’t know if this result will help them learn how to spell the name of our country or not, but we are sure that they can at least spell this, “four-to-one.” This was an important match and even with the win, Group 7 remains very tight. Milchama didn’t seem to be playing as well as they are probably capable of doing, certainly not showing any signs of the team that beat us in the World Cup 45 Group Stage last time out. With them on our home turf last night, we wanted to show them a little something about this place that I am proud to call home. Your response in the stands were great both in getting on them, and in supporting us. They wanted to push us around early, probably thinking that this would be a good way to try and beat us, but realized pretty quickly that it would take a little bit more then that to throw us off. Hazani Winter seemed like an aggressive one, but I was glad that when I got elbowed in the head for no apparent reason, that the referee showed him a card. I campaigned for a red for about 30 seconds, but didn’t want to become rattled by it. It was still only the 8th minute, and if this clown continues to play like that, he’ll get his second yellow by the end of the game. Florentine Morales then got himself yellow carded about five minutes later for his take down of Stacie Kerrigan-Fraser, and this would mean a penalty kick. Stacie powerfully struck the shot into net to give us the lead in the 14th. Then two minutes later, I picked off an errant pass and got the ball to Stacie again. Morales was confused as to what he should do since he didn’t want to risk another card, and Stacie knew it. It was just enough hesitation on his part to allow her to get by him to get a good shot on goal, which she also put by Smith to make it 2-0 in our favor. The Milky Warriors looked at each other confused, knowing they were in a pretty big hole. They aggressively pushed to get one goal back, and in that aggression, came yet another error. Overpursuit by one of their midfielders, I didn’t catch his number, allowed me to again get to a bad pass, and this time get the ball out to Erica Daniels. Erica and Stacie passed the ball between them back and forth a few times before it would Erica taking the shot and scoring. In the 33rd minute, we were up 3-0. We weren’t done for the half, as on a corner kick in the 42nd minute, Stacie Kerrigan-Fraser completed her hat trick. It was probably the best first half of football we have had all year. Not only did we score four goals in the first half. We scored four goals in the first half against Milchama! I thought we played well in the second half as well. Coach Baynes went to the subs a little earlier then usual, bringing in Kamisha Poston and Kiersten Reschke in the 62nd minutes. After Milchama scored in the 68th, came a very historic substitution. Matthew Webb was brought into the game. He had only played in a friendly to this point, and this was his first actual game action. For the first time, Cassadaigua would have a male playing for them out there on the field. Matthew was treated to a standing ovation from everyone in attendance, and the Milchama players seemed to think it was weird that we were entering a guy. He didn’t need to get his name on the scoresheet, just being out there was symbolic enough.

After the game, we had a lot to celebrate. Stacie’s hat trick and Matthew’s first official qualifying game action. Both were very happy over it. While we were celebrating with them, Stacie got a phone call from her husband, Eric. It seems the physical defender, who plays for Secristan scored his first ever goal too. We’re sure they will have a lot to talk about for the rest of the week. Matthew was just honored to get in the game. He thought there could be a chance when coach made him a sub instead of a reserve because Caitlin Loiselle was not feeling well, and therefore she would be a reserve for the game. As great as a result as this is, we cannot celebrate too much. Up next, we play Gordon Bay City, a first time nation that is very much alive in the group chase as well.
16-05-2009, 14:34
Kari, AVG - Lesse Elestadt missed a penalty as Candelaria And Marquez drew with Achtervolging in World Cup 46 Qualifying.

LThe Lions had the better of a lively first half, with Elestadt and Aurelio Prats denied by a double save by the Candelalalian keeper.

Elestadt had another chance from the spot when Bradley Sheron was pulled back in the box but his effort was again saved.

Harald Wevers put Achtervolging ahead after 53 minutes before the visitors levelled the game after 74 minutes and win the tie.

With so much at stake it was inevitable the match would be a full-blooded affair and C&M's Gwynfardd Lopulalan wasted little time in picking up the first booking of the match for a crunching tackle on Nelson Fielding in the first minute.

But any fears that the tension of the night would get to the players proved ill-founded, as both teams played their part in a rugged but entertaining first half.

Clear shots on goal were rare, and when he was finally called into action, the Candelalalian keeper was on top form.

After Fielding laid the ball off to Elestadt his shot was pushed away into the path of Prats, but fortunately for the Big Blues he was off-balance and his follow-up shot was weak.

Having survived the first half, C&M must have felt fate was on their side when Achtervolging missed a penalty just after the restart.

The referee saw Caleb Christmas pull back Sheron in the box, despite few other people in the ground having noticed it, and Elestadt had the chance to score from the spot.

But his weak effort was blocked, and Prats's follow-up effort was also turned aside, and the tension in the ground rose accordingly.

Within three minutes, though, that miss was forgotten as Aaron Kortsarian's cross from the left found Tom Smith in the middle and he slid in between two defenders before he squandered the opportunity.

With time running out the Big Blues's frantic defending denied Elestadt a chance of a breakaway goal and a minute later the full value of that intervention became clear.

Kortsarian's cross from the left found substitute Joel Mercado and he knocked the ball back into the path of Smith, who stabbed home from close range in the 77th minute.

In the dying seconds Bradley Sheron saw a long-range effort flash just inches wide of the post, as the Lions went all out for a second goal.

But despite six minutes of stoppage time, the Candelalalian defence stood firm and they held on to deny the Lions the three points.

"I'm really proud of them," said Lions manager Anjema. "We stood in there with the reigning champions, ranked 4th in the world, and managed to steal a point away and keep our hopes of qualifying alive. There's no doubt our supporters had a role in this. That crowd was deafening at its quietest."

The draw leaves Achtervolging in third place, and 3 points back of qualifying after Jasīʼyūn defeated Urna Eletrônica 2-0.
Phillips Island
16-05-2009, 15:00
Islanders ready for angry Cafundeu

Phillips Island wasn’t supposed to be much of a threat in World Cup 46 qualifying, and as this has gone on most Islanders begin to lose their interest. There are only three games left in qualifying now, and no one really knows what the future holds for sports across the Island. They will probably try this again in four years if they could ride on emotions alone. It’s just not simple, you need funding for this kind of thing, and if you don’t get it, you will never have a chance to do anything against the great soccer powers of the world.

Coach Watanabe opens up his newspaper to see what they are saying about his team. Not much. The Islanders are 2-0-5 in group six and an afterthought within the group. The papers here in Cafundeu point to a team being angry and wanting to avenge the upset victory our team had on them earlier in qualifying. That 2-1 result so far is truly the greatest moment in Phillips Islands brief sporting history. The papers aren’t angry with us, as their team is safe. They’ve done a wonderful job during qualifying and probably just took us way too lightly. They obviously expect to win, that’s not the point of the articles. They want to slaughter us. It seems like anything less then a five goal margin of victory will be considered unacceptable.

The coach isn’t worried about that. He knows his players want to play in this game and do well. Some of them even think if we have done it before that we can do it again. He was more worried about his wallet. He’s never seen so many things you had to pay for in one country.
Bears Armed
16-05-2009, 15:31
(from the ‘Sports’ section of ‘The Bear Necessities’…)


Landau Institute 1-2 Bears Armed

After two consecutive defeats by 3-goal margins, even though the first of those was only a 'friendly' game rather than a qualifying match for the World Cup, it looked to some people as though the Bear-Belles' current roster might have peaked too early and "burnt out", and would fail to procede even as far in this tournament as their predecessors did in either of the previous two: Last night, however, our girls proved those doubters decisively wrong!
Playing 'away' against the group's fifth-ranked team had seemed likely to be a fairly easy win for the Belles back when the group's membership was originally being discussed, although the fact that the Belles' victory in the 'home' game against those opponents (which fell in the first half of the qualifying series, of course) had only a 1-0 result was slightly worrying. The doctors and patients who comprise the Institute's team proved to be quite talented then, and light on their feet as well, which meant that the Belles didn't approach this return leg with overwhelming confidence...
On the other paw, of course, the degree of caution that this induced may have been better for the team's performance on the pitch than over-confidence (promoted by a better score in the earlier game) would have been...
Both teams played well in the first half, and in fact the Institute actually held possession of the ball for a higher proportion of the time than the Belles did (by a factor of 5-3, approximately), but our girls' defence worked together much more closely than usual and this -- combined with Irritti o OldWood's brilliant performance in goal, where she successfully stopped the only two shots that Institute players could manage -- kept the Institute from scoring... and then, in the fortieth minute, a long pass from Urra SunBlessed reached Karramarrsar Sarra deep inside their rivals' half, and she passed the ball to her sister Karra, who passed it on to the team's captain Harroya o Redwood, who hammered it cleanly into the Institute's net -- over the head of their keeper, Maldonaldo, who evidently preferred low balls to high ones -- for the first goal of that game.

The players whom the Institute fielded for the second half of the match included several substitutes, including one large & PURPLE individual whom they called "Doctor Alien"...
(Are Humans supposed to be purple? I don't think so...)
This changed line-up proved even more capable and aggressive than their opening one, and dominated play for the next twenty minutes. Irritti o OldWood managed to keep another two Institute shots from becoming goals, but then (in the game's 67th minute overall) 'Doctor Alien' charged straight down the pitch's mid-line... with none of the Belles' outfielders finding themselves in suitable positions to tackle him ... and kicked a shot that curved so strangely that there was no way Irritti could have been expected to keep it clear.
So, that made it 1-1... for then; and could the Belles break that deadlock, by scoring again, to win the game and keep up their hope of qualifying to play in the actual Cup? 'Doctor Alien' seemed to lose interest after scoring, but his team-mates were still dedicated and (of course) still skilled and kept up the pressure on our girls. lt wasn't until the 89th minute that Beorranna o Dawn, receiving the ball from Karramarrsar Sarra when the Institute's players clearly expected the latter to give it to her sister Karra again, managed to catch Maldonaldo off-guard and trickle a shot over the line into the net's lower right corner for the decisive goal.

So, what's next for the Belles? It's their return leg against Silexhera, the newcomers to international Soccer who have put up such a REMARKABLE performance during these qualifiers... and as the Silexherans are currently only two points behind our girls, as are the Dancougarites, it could well be the result of this game that effectively determines whether we qualify for entry into the World Cup... or whether they do.
As this is a 'home' game for the Belles they can expect a lot of supporters to be present, not just the dedicated members of "Arri's Furry Army" -- and scattering of other tourists or travellers -- that they get at 'away' games such as the one against the Institute... so if you're anywhere in Council Groves at all on the match-day, and not actually at the game (as I will be...) expect to hear our fans' drums anyway...

(Full details, page ‘S-2’.)
16-05-2009, 15:54
Riding a streak

Steroga picked up their second consecutive draw and it was a shocker as the Stergoans held mighty Yafor 2 without a goal at Kumar Field. The draw followed up another draw in which Stergoa and the McLaughlin Islands each scored a goal. Now we are still in fifth place after all this, but our goal of being one of the better teams from Baptism of Fire 33 during qualifying is looking pretty good. We aren’t the best, but we are probably surprising people that thought we would be one of the worst. Look at Italia Orientale, they had a great Baptism of Fire and are in last place in their group with only one point. The next match is against the Banten States and they were one of the two teams that we defeated in the first half. Coach Patel believes that the defensive effort is peaking right now and feels that we will do a good job against them even if we are on the road. Goalkeeper Utkarsh Nayak is in great form playing a great game against Yafor 2 in which he stopped fourteen shots.
16-05-2009, 16:31
16-05-2009, 19:33
Purple Knights Fall For Second Time

Even though the Knights kept it close after a first round 1-0 win over the Archrigemancy the team from the dreamed Realm defeated the Knights in game two by the very same score that the Knights defeated them by in Taeshan. The Rigmancy the top seed in the group came into the game 3 points behind in second place of the group and after last night they know hold a 3 goal lead over the second place Purple Knights. With just two game to go it looks like it will be a battle royale for the two teams to see who can win it, and if either team falters third place Nethertopia shall be right their to take the second place qualifying spot.

As it stands the Knights and Arch are technically tied at 18 points, but the Arch has a 3 point higher goal differntial and that means they would get the top seeded spot right now out of the group. In third place sits the ever present Nethertopians just two points away from taking a qualifying spot. In the next two weeks 18 points will be the ultimate goal, 6 for each team, which can decide who will go and who will go home. The Knights have to play Nethertpia, and Swartaz with a win and a tie the Knights will advance because if they tie or beat the Nethertopians they will be able to knock them out, but if they lose either of the game it gets complicated. If Nethertopia loses either of the games and the Knights win one of them the Knights advance. Arch has a good seat for the show as they control their own destiny easily, but the Knights and the Falcons have a way toucher road. It would just have been easier for the Knights to win, becuase then they would have had the tiebreaker over Arch and would have assured qualification.
Candelaria And Marquez
16-05-2009, 19:35
The Albrecht Herald Online>Sport>Football>WC46
One week later, Gategate rumbles on as Big Blues labour to Onwere point
By Mack Hession

It was all going so well… But two matches on and Candelariasian football is back in the soup, its national FA crumbling into a state of civil war, officials at the Escalera Naranja facing an investigation after serious crowd trouble, and the Big Blues’ hopes of retaining their world title left teetering on a knife-edge – despite confirming their place in Ad’ihan or Kelssek this summer.

As qualifications go, the celebrations could not have been more low-key. Dannat was quick to proclaim job done, and admit that more experimental XIs are likely to be thrown in against Urna Electrônica and away in Rejistania for the final two group fixtures; but the match and qualification itself will certainly be overshadowed by events elsewhere. The one-all draw against Jaseuyeon was less than sparkling, albeit a perhaps rather fairly representation of the teams’ respective abilities than the five-one drubbing received by the Paripanans in the previous match, and failures at in both boxes will need to be addressed. Joel Sbaïz has still kept but a single clean sheet this term and Dannat will be mightily concerned if the goals at the opposite end have suddenly dried up, even if Abdul Ibadulla once again got on the scoresheet shortly before the half hour.

Doommongers can rest assured that C&M are hardly losing track on their immediate rivals around the globe – the Eesseff are the only side with a 100% record, and only three join they and the Big Blues in the ranks of the undefeated – and evidence that C&M have peaked at entirely the wrong time is still just a wee bit thin on the ground. But whether Dannat’s men will be able to keep their heads when all about them seem intent on losing theirs – only time will tell.

The principal controversy still surrounds Quentin Vokolos, with the position of the former MLP MP and current CAMAFA President increasingly considered untenable by pundits and Bower Street insiders alike, following his perceived failures in the ‘Achtervolging incident’ increasingly known as ‘Gategate’. An internal investigation is underway to determine culpability in the farce, with the CAMAFA still keen to foist the bulk of the blame on Achtervolging authorities over themselves, but that may well fail to satisfy Vokolos’ critics – particularly in the event of a widely anticipated whitewash. Andrew Walker, the former Caires City manager and key CAMAFA figure, told the Herald yesterday that the incident was ‘simply unacceptable for a leading domestic football association, and the organising body of the world champions’, while former C&M coach Kris Healy has blamed the shambles in Kari on the CAMAFA’s appointment of a politician in the top job, rather than a ‘true football man’.

Wherever the blame lies, the Big Blues have certainly been left an international laughing stock, after six players were turned away at the check-in gate at Kari International and held overnight on the orders of the Achtervolgian immigration department after being accused of possessing fraudulent Visas.

While parties in both countries have since confirmed that the errors in the documents in question were simple mistakes rather than deliberately deceitful, there has been no concord in the matter of culpability – leaving real bad blood between the CAMAFA and FAA, that was hardly needed after the ‘late arrival’ incident in Arrigo earlier in the year. Anonymous CAMAFA insiders have gone as far as accusing their counterparts of deliberately attempting to ‘get their own back’ for the two goals inside three minutes that cost their team so dear in the previous fixture.

The ‘Kari Six’ – Adams, Avola, Estévez, Logan, Oliveira Tavares and Plunkett – were all new to the C&M squad, having failed to make the WC45 twenty-three; Adams and Avola having caps from previous call-ups. Darren Robinson, who did not travel through injury, is also likely to have befallen the same fate as his compatriots, with the rest of the squad able to past through unmolested following their previous visit to Achtervolging during WC45 qualifying.

Despite CAMAFA pressure, the absence of a Candelariasian consulate in Achtervolging rendered a fast-paced dialogue all but impossible, and left Dannat with a hopelessly understaffed squad with injury concerns also hanging over a trio of those players who had gained entry into the Wysterian country. After publicly stating his desire to bring in emergency squad players, Dannat initially looked to Çaatay Menderes, Jamie Small and Oscar Vincent – Wow! Health & Fitness FC players on loan from AFC MN Smith in nearby Quintessence of Dust – before coming to the conclusion that the youngsters would face much the same difficulty as their more senior colleagues.

Instead, Dannat took the dramatic step of handing call-ups to Caleb Christmas, Joel Mercado and Tom Smith – all players axed by the manager in the previous reshuffle (with Christmas having subsequently retired from international football), but able to enter Achtervolging on last season’s Visas. St. Patrick’s FC trainee Jake Swailes was also called-up on general principal, and appeared able to join his new countrymen thanks to his rather gorgeous red and gold Sorthern Northlandish passport.

For Smith in particular, the match represented a stunning return to the international set-up. His Big Blues goal tally surpassed by Abdul Ibadulla during this round of qualifying; Smith remains fourth on the all-time table but his international career appeared over after he was left out of the initial WC46 qualifying squad. Domestically, he has suffered a similar fate – scoring just a single goal thus far during CMSC XXXIV, with the Kura-Pellandi William Lacamoire and Arrigo local Gabriel Macanás now Oscar Goldsworth’s preferred strike pairing for Portuguese. Just weeks ago, Smith admitted that he may soon be forced to drop down a division to find regular football – a sad end for a man who should still be remembered as a true C&M great.

But suddenly, Smith has found a new lease of life – and a thoroughly unexpected twenty-third international goal after replacing David Spooner on sixty minutes, scoring a dramatic equaliser a quarter of an hour later, from a pass by fellow substitute Mercado. With Christmas starting the match alongside O’Brien and Swailes also coming on for the limping Aaron Kortsarian with five minutes remaining, all of Dannat’s emergency new arrivals got a game – with the manager duly picking up the plaudits for his decision, despite the disappointing final result and fortunate manner even of that.

It was, naturally, Tom Smith who grabbed all the headlines – but his joy was not to last. He and his fellow ringers were absent from Dannat’s matchday sixteen in Onwere, the coach insisting that their return constituted a one-off despite their heroics. Perhaps the great mind inside the World Cup winner’s bulbous form dropped the ball on this one – for a more familiar starting eleven, with Oliveira Tavares’ start ahead of the injured Kortsarian the only major change from the previous home match, would go on to take just a point against Jaseuyeon.

And life would soon go from bad to worse for the CAMAFA – with angry supporters high in the gods greeting Sam Murray’s second-half equaliser by tearing chairs and making the stadium’s modular fifth tier wobble in a most unfortunate manner. Marquez-Onwere authorities have promised to track down and ban for life those involved, but the national FA has also come under fire for lax stewarding at a suddenly high-profile and high-tempered fixture.

It is this matter that may bring about Vokolos’ downfall rather than the circus of Achtervolging, but tonight it is undeniable that a significant stain has developed across one of the most celebrated FAs on the planet today. The Big Blues are at the World Cup, but the CAMAFA may have a great deal of work to do to regain the nation’s trust and support.

World Cup 46 Qualifying, Matchday Eight
@ La Escalera Naranja, Onwere

Candelaria And Marquez 1
Ibadulla 28

Jaseuyeon Sports Association 1
Murray 61

[OOC: For the record, Achtervolging, some of us change our rosters at least as often as our underwear, if not more so… ;)]
16-05-2009, 21:17
Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Domestic-International-Star-News-Today

Sports Section

Timmons On Hot Seat as Warriors May Not Qualify

To the fans of the Milchama Warriors football team I have two words, brace yourselves. Now why you ask? Very simple just look at the Group 7 standings. Milchama languish in 4th place, on goal difference! behind Cassadaigua (You beat us 4-1 we print your full name, you get props), yes we should be better than them, Gordon Bay City, WHO ARE UNRANKED!!!!!!!!!, Jeruselem, you maybe we should be losing too but still.

Now maybe this sounds familiar, the Warriors have made a habit in the 40s of starting slow before finding their legs and destroying the group but this is different because this isn't MD 1 or even the half way point but MD 8 with only two games left. Granted those two games are against West Newmanistan and Gordon Bay City. GAMES WE SHOULD BOTH WIN!!!! But considering how the qualifying has gone so far there are no guarantees.

Some said, actually most said, that the Warriors had turned a corner and after a horrid start 3 straight 1-0 victories turned them into contenders but then Cassadaigua happened. 4-1 loss but that wasn't the worst of it, it was how bad the loss. We weren't even competitive. 4-0 after the first half, that's not even close to good or respectable. That's just pathetic, that's Invaders FC esque. Seriously just awful.

This awful play has of course fallen on two main things 1. is the MFA. They haven't entered a u21 Warrior squad in ages, which by the way was a great place where we blooded some great players like Kelvin Joseph, Dunstin Copperlee and others. And they haven't entered a traditional team into the World Cup since god knows when. These two problems lead to one thing a young team with no experience internationally. Heck you could say these Warriors are just like Gordon Bay City, except with expectations. THAT'S A BAD COMBINATION! No experience + expectation to do well = failure imminent and that's what happening right now.

The other blame has been on Coach Timmons. While he was successful at Great Alexandria, that really doesn't mean anything. Alexandria has been successful forever, they're like the Pirates of football. Yes when he came they had a bit of a rough patch and he fixed 'em up good but international management is completely different. Yes it wasn't just this crazy first time job for the kid but still I don't know if you let him cut his chops with this team. If nothing else he's looked overmatched. He always played more defensively at Alexandria and this has continued for the Warriors with disastrous results. THIS IS NOT A DEFENSIVE TEAM! THIS IS NOT A DEFENSIVE COUNTRY! WE'RE WAR FOR GOD'S SAKE! We play a 3-3-4 for a reason, to beat teams 3-0 or 5-1 not to grind out 1-0 wins. That win against Jeruselem was more like it, 3 goals and some shoddy defending.

Yes we could do without the bad defending but just letting the strikers go and attack was, is needed to cure the Warriors.



P.S. If we don't win our next game we're sacrificing 3 rubber chickens, 2 rubber goats and a rubber duckie to Margaret. Be prepared.
16-05-2009, 21:24
Now it's a two-match losing streak.

After the Sarzonian national football team trudged off the Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium pitch following their 1:2 defeat at the hands of longtime nemeses Krytenia, they could tell just by looking in the eyes of manager Franz Braddock that he was disappointed.

And angry.

"Where's the aggression?" he yelled. "Where's the heart, the passion?"

Braddock didn't discuss the defensive breakdown that led to Krytenia's drawing first blood in the 23rd minute. He didn't even mention the soft goal Cody Taylor gave up in the 35th minute that put Krytenia ahead by two goals. He had no plans to mention defender Ben Davis's getting one of the two goals back in the 68th minute.

Instead, the fact the team went through the motions against Krytenia, a team that had just dealt them a pride-wounding 5:1 defeat in the Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy, enraged the octogenarian manager.

"This should have been a fucking revenge match!" Braddock bellowed. That got the team to look up with startled expressions. The old man had never cursed in front of his team. Until this match, he'd never raised his voice beyond what was needed to get his point across. All that ended tonight.

"I'd better see a better effort against Algal States," he said. "Or there will be major problems."

It didn't matter that Sarzonia's 5-1-2 record had them in qualifying position prior to their final two matches, home to unranked Algal States and away to No. 70 Terra Anatidae. The team that looked so fluid against The Holy Empire in two matches looked lifeless against the Aces.

They would soon find out that was unacceptable.
17-05-2009, 00:12
His son had just tied up the game at one. The Rockets were playing well in Yafor 2 when Jeremy McAllister couldn’t believe the chants. “Sterrr-oids! Sterr-oids!” He was hoping that his team could be away from all the media hype concerning the SAPCO fallout. Not this time. This was a world story, and the group of Yaforite fans doing the taunt were certainly up on their current events.

Thanks to a Nick Roberts goal in the 84th minute, the Rockets kept their slim hopes alive of qualifying for the World Cup. Slim, because there is just little optimism that Yafor 2 will do anything but win their final two games. You see, when this has been the storyline of so many qualification attempts, it’s hard to think that anything different will happen again. Still the mood in the locker room was jovial, with the exception of Jeremy McAllister. The “steroids” chant that surrounded his son bothered him. While he knew that the Yaforite fans were simply supporting their team, he hated the fact that his son was going to become an unfair target. Following the post-game meeting by Nelson Yaschter in which he was sure to demand the team be on top form for their final two games of qualification, Jeremy returned to his hotel room in Yafor 2, to be greeted by his wife.

Ashley McAllister had been waiting. She had watched coverage of the Channel 5 report in which Doctor Holmes had claimed her husband began using HGH after World Cup 43. She didn’t think it was true, but still she needed answers. Jeremy had not yet watched the report. She was also aggravated by the chants of “steroids” towards Junior, but was more ready to brush it off as the Rockets being in an unfriendly environment. Jeremy arrives.

“How was the meeting?”

“Everyone seemed to be in good spirits. Two wins over Yafor 2 during qualifying, if you told me we would do that at the start of this whole deal, I’d of thought we’d win the group outright.”

“The team played well tonight. Jason (Hargrove) doesn’t get enough credit for the job that he has done, given the circumstances.”

“He’s really playing well. Rockets keepers have never gotten the kind of respect they should get though. Kusler, Hennis, Dalton, they all played well too.”

“Hun, did you see this latest report? What the doctor said about you?”

“No, what did he say?” Ashley plays a webcast of the report.

“Fuck!” McAllister screams, slamming the headboard of the bed and knocking it off. “What a fucking lie!” The stream of expletives continue and his anger certainly well understood.

“It is a lie. Right? Jeremy?”

“Of course it is! This is such bullshit! Talk about a defamation of character lawsuit! This is ridiculous! You better not believe this crap!”

“I don’t, but I had to ask. Holmes is a desperate man who would say anything.”

“Glad you understand that, sweetie. But I am sure all of Newmanistan is now jumping to the conclusion that I have been doing it for over a decade. There is definitely a lawsuit that will come about in this. What’s the name of that Secristani firm that advertised in the World Bowl?”

“I’m sure you can get someone more, Newmanistanian.”

“Hell no. Give me a Secristani lawyer. Everyone in Newmanistan already seems to think I am guilty already and that probably will include everyone in the legal business. Screw this, I have to air a statement right now, even if its on Yafor 2 television. There’s a couple Putnam Lake reporters who might be here who’s numbers I know.”

“Actually, a couple TV stations called while you were at the game, so just call one of them. I saved the voice mail messages. Everyone wants interviews with you, you’ll never have a problem getting airtime.”

Jeremy listens to the voice mail and goes with reporter Andrew Duncan, who’s based in Pocono City. Duncan, obviously, is thrilled to have the opportunity to be the one who does the interview and have it air on his station. They arrange to meet in the hotel’s meeting room and shoot there. That after all, is what meeting rooms are for. Ashley will accompany Jeremy, who also informs Nelson Yaschter of the interview, although Nelson declines to be interviewed, expressing his need to focus on scouting some guy with the last name of McLaughlin. Duncan arrives with camera crew, and they set things up for an interview.

“Good evening Pocono City, I’m Andrew Duncan, and I am here in Yafor 2 with Jeremy McAllister, where the Rockets have just won a thriller, 2-1, to remain alive in Group 10. First off, Jeremy, congratulations on the big road victory.”

“Thank you Andrew.”

“Tell us about the game.”

“Well we played pretty well. I think you saw a competitive match and both teams looked to be on good form. This is another example of us playing to the level of our opponent, and we must be on great form to win our final two games. McLaughlin Islands just drew with The Macabees, and Steroga hasn’t lost in their last three. Neither game will be a gimmie.”

“But we both know that’s not what this interview is about. Jeremy, you wanted to come on and refute the statement made by Doctor Richard Holmes on a station in Centralia. You have the floor.”

“Thank you, Andrew. Doctor Holmes was televised on that station by a reporter who seems set on only airing the side of a story that he wants to be played. If you listen to my interview him prior, you can tell that from his questioning, he wasn’t someone who wanted to hear what I had to say for he had already made up in his mind what his next steps would be. We must remember that Doctor Holmes is a desperate man. He is someone that was arrested in Southport and had his medical license revoked. He has run a laboratory in Southport which we all well know by now was distributing illegal steroids. I was targeted by this man when I was with the team in Valanora for the most recent Di Bradini Cup. Unfortunately, he also gave them to Matthew Coulson there, something that he admitted too before. So he has said that he was in Valanora. I made a mistake by considering it. Again I apologize that I did not immediately throw the bottle back in his face. There was a small temptation there and it took me a little while before I could completely say no. That’s what happened. I have no idea where he gets this nonsense that I began seeing him after World Cup 43 and I am not happy about this lie of his. I have passed every drug test that has ever been administered to me.”

“Do you have any way of proving that Holmes is lying, though?”

“I always thought that Newmanistan was an ‘innocent until proven guilty’ nation. But in this instance, it seems as though I need to be proving my innocence. Newmanistan, listen. Holmes is desperate. He has no reason not to lie and especially not when being pressured by a so-called investigative reporter like Scott Davis.”

“Professional athletes are always in the limelight, and you are correct when you say that we need to give them the benefit of the doubt sometimes. However, there are many past examples of athletes who have taken some form of steroid to better their career and adamantly deny it to anyone until its proven without a doubt that they had used it. It therefore becomes a culture, Jeremy, where it becomes difficult to believe an athlete on something like this. You have become one of the Empire’s most well-known athletes, and a person that most of the football-playing world can quickly associate as being a Newmanistanian star. Because of that, you can also be seen as someone who has a lot to lose, and therefore have a need to be untruthful.”

“I can’t change that way of thinking, Andrew. But I would like people to think about my career as a whole. I have always been someone who has tried to do the right thing. I take pride in that I never needed to disciplined during my Putnam Lake career for stupid little things that you hear about on the news. I have been respected by the majority of my teammates for not just what I have done on the field, but as well as off it.”

“Also, Jeremy, let’s also mention the many charitable donations to organizations that you have made throughout the years.”

“I never did that for the publicity that ends up following it. I did it out of the bottom of my heart, but if it needs to mentioned now, then I guess it also should be something you think about. SAPCO has done nothing but distribute illegal drugs.”

“How do you plan on responding to these accusations?”

“Hopefully Holmes will take back his story and tell the truth. Otherwise, I will need to pursue other options which may or may not mean a lawsuit.”

“Yafor 2 fans got on your son today with steroid taunts. That must have really bothered you.”

“At first, but then you understand that they are just rooting for their team in an important match. It’d be different if we went to Pocono City or Loudon and our own fans were acting like that.”

“Jeremy, is there anything else you would like to add?”

“I just hope that Newmanistanians, and people across the world, can look at the facts and will listen to what I just said a few moments ago. I think that when you do, you will begin to see that I am being honest with you.”

“Thank you. Now if I may ask your wife a few questions.”

Ashley seemed stunned by that and Jeremy wasn’t completely sure how this would go, but would see what happens. He wanted to make sure Ashley was ok with it, and she nodded that she would.

“Hello, Ashley.”


“Ashley, I just want to ask you a couple questions. In sports, a lot of times we hear that star professional athletes have marital problems. Yet you and Jeremy have now been married for what, 16 years?”

“Fifteen, we got married after Cup of Harmony 34.”

“Congrats. It’s obviously a successful marriage, something that a lot of us in this world can’t say. For that to happen, you must have a strong sense of trust in your husband.”


“Did he ever act as if he might be hiding something, such as a steroid.”

“Absolutely not. Jeremy was always and is still always very up front with me.”

“I ask these questions of you Ashley, because I think Newmanistan needs to listen to what you are saying. If what Doctor Holmes said was true, and Ashley was just finding out about this right now, then she would not be having such a positive reaction. Think about that, Newmanistan, and count me as someone who fully believes that Jeremy McAllister has never taken HGH.”

“Thank you.” Ashley responded as the cameras turned away. Jeremy was very happy with this interview, and hoped for a positive response throughout the Empire.

West Newmanistan
17-05-2009, 00:45
The group has been unpredictable. Maybe even more so then Newmanistan’s Group 10. President Nicholls saw the likes of Gordon Bay City, this country that came in the World Cup unranked while saying “we don’t need no stinkin’ Baptism of Fire.” Ok, perhaps they never used those exact words, but they seemed to be a nation with a ton of confidence, and it has shown with them being tied for the group lead with Milchama. No, make that Jeruselem. No, actually, that’s Cassadaigua. Could Group 7 finish with an unranked team qualifying and it’s top two seeds heading to the Cup of Harmony? “Those Newmanistanians think they are the only nation that’s choking right now.” The President said.

West Newmanistan had defeated the Islands of Qutar to keep their chances of qualifying still, mathematically possible. This is the case because if there was a second place tie with the Dagans, it would come down to goal differential, since both of our results have been draws to this point. Even though the Dagans have a thirteen goal advantage over us there, it still is something that could, theoretically happen. More realistically, the Patriots will look to be a spoiler in their final two games, which will be in Morton City against Jeruselem, and then on in the road in Milchama. West Newmanistan, therefore, still has the opportunity to make their presence felt if they get a win against either of those nations. It would go a long way in determining the future of the country in the World Cup. With much of the tension over with between us and the powerful empire, our future is questioned because many believe that West Newmanistan’s sole purpose of participating in the World Cup was to try bring the issues of the region to the forefront in the world. We don’t know if that has really happened, but at this point, it no longer matters. The President has not said anything other then he would have some interest in returning the team in four years. This will make these last two games, potentially, also be about making a final stand.

The SAPCO fallout has not really affected West Newmanistan much, mainly in part to the country’s more lenient drug testing. Some people think that Brad Shackford may be doping up, but there really is no fair basis for that. A poll of West Newmanistanians found that 64% of our people actually believe that Jeremy McAllister is innocent and did not use the supplement, although the minority that thinks otherwise seem to be the more vocal crowd.
The Macabees
17-05-2009, 01:12
Golden-Whites qualify the least brilliant way possible
[Despite hard work by Shost Glen, the match against McLaughlin Islands ended in a frustrating draw.]

Fedala—After two brilliant victories against Yafor and Newmanistan, and achieving an important gap between themselves and following teams, the Imperial squad stumbled against a team it probably shouldn't have. The away game against the McLaughlin Islands had finished 1–4, but the Macabee team simply could not manage to score at home. And so, the match ended at a 0–0 draw, and the Golden-Whites walk away with one point. Nevertheless, the team is still six points away from Yafor and seven points away from Newmanistan. There are six points still in play, so a win against Steroga would be the only thing necessary to maintain the top spot in Group Ten. This would be a hearty moral booster once going into the finals, since those will be some of the most difficult games played by the team, yet. However, the draw served enough to guarantee qualification for the Macabee team—the first World Cup finals qualification in the history of the national team! And so, Tíer Bergán and his squad of young men made history, representing their country. This comes amidst news of privatization and whatnot, where the future of the team is as of yet unclear.

However, the upcoming matches will be most important for Newmanistan. Newmanistan, hungry for qualification, cannot lose any of the two coming games. Already barred from reach the Macabees, they must hope to overcome Yafor. Two Yaforite victories would seal Newmanistan's abilities to qualify, although as of late the Yaforite squad have been stumbling against their opponents. Two losses, one against the Macabees and the other against Newmanistan, as well as a draw against Steroga, have put them in a dire position where they are struggling to maintain their ability to qualify. They are a single point on top of Newmanistan, and only two points from the McLaughlin Islands. Steroga is four points from second place, so they would require two victories (including a victory against the Macabee National Football Team the next fixture). And so, most teams in the group still have a lot of work in front of them. The road to qualification is yet unclear for many. These last two games have a lot of potential for being the most stunning of them all. It's unfortunate that the Golden-Whites did not win today, or else first place would have been guaranteed.

But, they can guarantee first place by defeating Steroga in their own stadium. Steroga fought Yafor to a draw, as Yaforite's defensive tactics did not garner them a goal. Now, Steroga probably hope to do the same against the Macabees, which is a much more offensive team. There is likely to be more goals in the next match day for qualification, especially as Steroga needs a win to remain in the competition for second place. If not against Steroga, the Macabee team must definitely defeat Banten States.

There is news from other quarters, as well. There has been a deal struck to privatize the national team! The government has sold the team for a reported $15.5 billion, which was over seven times the amount offered by any other bid. The bid was offered by Daehanjeiguk's Samseong and Hawks Sporting Academy, from Somewhereistonia. The team is to pass into the hands of these two corporations at the end of the World Cup qualifying round. Samseong has stated, in the contract, that they have a non-interventionist policy, whereas the team is not likely to be reorganized (especially as Tíer Bergán has done a wonderful job, so far). There are rumors that the team will be organized based upon a small review board, to scout for national players. Management, as rumored, will be decided through democratic elections by the team itself. However, these are purely rumors and were not confirmed by representatives of either purchasing company. Apart from that, there is little information available on how the team will be run or how the team will make a profit. It can only be assumed that the team will be ran as a subsidiary of both corporations, acting like a company within itself. It will make profits off ticket sales, sales in the stadium and sales of jerseys and such, amongst other things. With current World Cup success, there is no doubt that the team will able to sell itself to the public. Shirts with the name "Mika d'Angíel" already litter the streets.

The national stadium is supposedly included in the contract. It's not clear which company will have ownership. This is a form of stacking, since the team no longer has to rent out a stadium to play in. This could cot losses and extend profits. Otherwise, the national stadium would have been procured by another company.

The privatization of the football team starts a precedent. It's very likely that other national teams, such as the futsal team, are to be privatized, as well. This is part of the government's incredible attempt to balance the budget by privatizing all industries, cutting income taxes and deregulating the market. It's a massive liberalization of the national economy, and the effects have already began to take effect. There has been a dramatic decrease in unemployment, and companies have reported exponentially increasing profits. Furthermore, this comes in conjunction with greater peace and stability in the territory of Theohuanacu, which only a few months ago was the center of a very violent insurgency against Imperial forces. That said, ironically, the Empire is continuing with its demilitarization. Many tens of millions of soldiers are being put back into the labor force.

Finally, Tekmónika, a telecommunications corporation, has reported interest in subsidizing a Cup of Harmony bid in the Empire. However, it was maintained that the bid would have to be made with another, more experienced nation. Tekmónika is likely to be joined by other local companies, who would love to make a cut in the profits. It would be a massive temporary boom for the local market, as hundreds of thousands of foreign citizens are drawn to the Empire to watch the Cup of Harmony finals.

All of this is good news for the popularity of football in the Empire.
17-05-2009, 01:27
"That'll do it."

"Do what?"

"That's us through."

"Through to what?"

"The fucking World Cup, we've qualified!"

"Ha! As if. A one nil victory over lowly Edward City won't secure us a spot in the last 32."

".... It just did."

"Oh. Umm, okay. So what now?"

"Well they still have two more games. If they beat Sorthern Northland at home there is a chance they could top the group."

"And what does that mean?"

"Well if they top it, they might get an easier draw in the second round."

"Wait hold on. They have two more games, are you sure they're through?!?!"

"Oh yeah, they're through alright, it's the only group to be completely decided."


"Well almost. As I said before, if Peisandros can pull off an upset against Sorthern Northland, it would make the group pretty interesting -- Peisandros could end up on top."

"Wow, I'm intrigued."

"You should be, it's good footy."

"Well I don't know. I haven't watched many games."

"Are you serious? It's been fantastic, the one nil victory over rivals Edward City was a thriller."

"Really? I didn't see much of the second half, I kinda got distracted. My cat died."


"Yeah, got ripped up by a lion."

"Wow.......... So... Football?"

"Yeah, great."

PQ Friendly:
@ Bears Armed 0-1.
Qualifying round one:
MD1: v Australiazia (Peisandros Basin, Delphi.) 5-0.
MD2: v Somewhereistonia (National Sports Arena, Olympia.) 3-1.
MD3: @ Edward City 2-0.
MD4: v Golgothastan (People of Ephesum Stadium, Ephesum.) 4-2.
MD5: @ Sorthern Northland 2-4.
MQ Friendly:
v Quintessence of Dust (Peisandros Basin, Delphi.) 2-0.
Qualifying round two:
MD6: @ Australiazia 5-2.
MD7: @ Somewhereistonia 1-1.
MD8: v Edward City (ATI Stadium, Thasos.) 1-0.
MD9: @ Golgothastan
MD10: v Sorthern Northland (National Sports Arena, Olympia.)
PQ Friendly:
@ Jeru FC.
17-05-2009, 02:40
The Daily Quak
We Suck....

Many of you readers have probably wondered why we have not covered soccer in the past few years. Well it`s simple, we suck. We have decided to begin covering the sport in an attempt to improve the teams morale, and hopefully results. The Quakmybush Celts as they are now called are 3-0-5 with 2 games remaining and almost no hope of qualification. The team really hopes they have enough to be invited to the Cup of Harmony to give them practice and maybe even a rank boost based on their performance.

The team is different from when they last qualified 20 years ago. Jon Fields Jr. is the superstar just like his father was. The team is alot younger and play a different style of soccer that will hopefully bring them towards the top 25 in the rankings, alothough they currently sit 52nd (an all time low) and are looking to move up.

The Celts are drawn into a group with mainstays, Bazalonia, and Capitalizt SLANI, and relative newcomers, Secristan, Lemetel, and Opereta.


Quakmybush 0–1 Capitalizt SLANI
Quakmybush 0–3 Bazalonia
Lemetel 0–1 Quakmybush
Quakmybush 3–1 Opereta
Secristan 3–1 Quakmybush
Capitalizt SLANI 1–0 Quakmybush
Bazalonia 2–0 Quakmybush
Quakmybush 4–1 Lemetel

Goal Scorers
Rudolf Slobodan - 4
Jon Fields Jr. - 3
Brendan Billy - 1
Brendon Gabriel - 1
17-05-2009, 03:34
The whisky again flowed in the office of Paul Hart, but this time there was no celebratory mood. He sat slumped in his ergonomic chair, feet on the desk, drink in his hand, looking at his computer screen and trying to piece his thoughts together.

Silexhera had arrived back from Bears Armed six hours ago. The team was tired, as one would expect after going for ninety minutes against a team of players vastly, physically superior in size and strength. The team had gone down fighting to a 2-0 scoreline, but if anything it had been more comfortable for the home side. Kelly Sporadic enjoyed none of the freedom of their first encounter where he was allowed on occasion to get the ball and run at the Bear-Belle's defence. This time he had been marked expertly out of the game, in the end appearing to be but a shadow of the world-class player he'd been hyped to be. It was one thing to show off your tricks against weaker and inexperienced opposition, it was another to do it against the big boys, or big cubs in this case.

Paul groaned for the fourth time. His monitor was showing live footage of Dancougar versus Landau Institute in the other top-of-the-group crunch game, and it wasn't living up to any of his dreams or even conservative expectations. Not forty minutes gone and Dancougar, the team Silexhera desperately needed to drop points to stay in contention for a qualifying place, had just rattled in goal number four. They looked unstoppable on their home turf now, their shaky start to the campaign long behind them. The loss to Bears Armed had put the Ursines five points clear of Silexhera with just six points to play for and at this rate Dancougar were about to become just as elusive. Silexhera's most conservative of hopes were for Dancougar to win by a narrow margin. They were nowhere near. 4-1 up before half-time. The goal-difference between them and Silexhera was insurmountable as it was and there was still forty-five minutes of football left to play.

Paul casted his mind back to yesterday's game in Bears Armed. Silexhera had been as confident as you'd expect any team to be with just one loss in seven games. They'd even started strongly, getting the ball forward now and then and refusing to surrender possession despite the Belle-Bears' pressure and the off-putting, high-volume drumming coming from the thousands of home fans. The few hundred Silexherans that had made it as far as Bears Armed looked nervous, and it soon rubbed off on the team. Bears Armed's first goal was an absolute sickener - the sort that knocks the wind out of you and puts bleak thoughts in your mind. Beorranna o Dawn had got the ball down to the left by-line after brushing aside a weak challenge from Tam Doctor and had gone to cross the ball. Whether she'd meant to strike it like that is unclear, but it rocketed towards goal from the most impossible of angles. Goalkeeper Colm Fisher was badly positioned yet managed to throw himself at the ball to stop it zipping dangerously accross the face of goal yet only succeeded in parrying it straight up in the air. Silexhera's defence were becoming renowned for their height and strength, but even all six foot six of Couser Granite couldn't stop striker Harroya Redwood comfortably nodding the ball into the open net from seven yards out for 1-0.

Paul shivered as he remembered how seeing that goal, and seeing the heads of his players drop almost in resignation as the ball crossed the line, but still felt more empathy for the Landau Institute team. Halfway through the second half now and it was 6-1. They were getting a hammering. Attempts to cheer himself up by telling himself that the Silexhera-Landau game was next and that LI's confidence would be rattled by such a heavy beating just simply didn't work. The difference in class between the two sides was just as apparent as it had been between Silexhera and the Bear-Belles.

If anything, that inferiority had been confirmed before kick-off. Averagely performing right-back Smokey Black had been ruled out through injury two days before the game. He'd had an anvil fall on his ankle. Any many cultures that would be a comedy injury, and that was the sad truth. Other country's players were professional. They didn't work five days in a blacksmiths and then go out and match wits with the best football teams in the world, they spent all week gardening, drinking, training and playing video games (well, many of the human players did anyway) before running out on the field before a huge crowd and getting a hero's welcome. Paul Hart suspected Smokey might be the first player in a while to have to pull out of a World Cup qualifier due to a work-related injury that wasn't from football. It hadn't ruptured Paul's game-plan too much - sub David Thatcher was just as adept as Black but lacking a little bit of speed - but it just put that little element of doubt in his and the players mind that, maybe, Silexhera didn't belong here after all.

Goal number two for Bears Armed had come on the sixty-three minute mark and had all but confirmed the dominance of the home team. A string of passes from midfield had culminated in the ball rolling behind a tired and weary James Forrester with winger Karramarsar Sarra in full stride and coming in to meet it. Forrester's attempt to track back and make a lunging, last-ditch tackle was laughable. He was brushed aside by the winger who took one touch before leaving Colm Fisher standing with an absolute bullet into the far corner.

7-1. Bloody hell. Bloody hell. With this win Dancougar and second place would be nigh-on uncatchable, even if LI got back in with a goal, which Paul didn't think was very likely. Paul could forget all about goal difference now. For Silexhera to qualify he'd need two wins, and he's need either Bears Armed to lose both their next games, or Dancougar to fail to win their next game before the two teams met on a final-day showdown.

Maybe he was looking at this the wrong way. In fact, he knew he was. So what if they didn't make it to the World Cup? With Landau Institute's horrendous defeat (although it was 7-2 now, fair play to them) Silexhera were guaranteed third place in the group. Third place wasn't just a good finish for their first try, it was utterly unbelievable. They'd announced themselves onto the world stage and they'd done it in the bravest and brilliant-est fashion. They'd not entered the Baptism of Fire tournament, they'd given themselves the real thing. To go from nowhere to mixing it with, and being competitive with, some of the best teams in the world was a great achievement. There was also, of course, the Cup of Harmony, the invitational tournament for high-performing teams who didn't make it to the World Cup. They'd have no chance in that either, but it was still a tournament that could get Silexhera's growing legion of fans, both home and abroad, a big sticky tournament to get their teeth into.

And four years from now, they could do it all again.
17-05-2009, 03:39
Marie: Well, that's CRAP.
Nikki: We didn't have much luck today.
Marie: Well Maggie wasn't our side today.
Nikki: Which one?

Marie: Oh, the Maggie we all hate and love. Not the Qaz Daz, Maggie.
Nikki: So we have to beat West Newmanistan and them girls.
Marie: We need plan! Against them girls. We'd might as well give up if we can't beat West Newmanistan.
Nikki: We'll beat them, it's them girls.

Marie: Yeah, they are playing well.
Nikki: We have two teams in competition for two spots.
Marie: And any of them can make it.
Nikki: Which means we can't afford any more losses.

Marie: Well, if we had won here - we would have been in much better shape and nearly put Milchama out of operation.
Nikki: A draw would have been nice.
Marie: A win would have been better.

Marie: I noticed Jeru FC lost today.
Nikki: They'll be OK. We're the ones in trouble here.
Marie: OK, we need a plan to beat ... girls.
Nikki: We're girls, the coach is a girl. So it's going to be hard to think not like girl.

Marie: I got it.
Nikki: Yeah? Who ...
Marie: I'll see if my husband has an idea. I mean he's coached 8 teams.
Nikki: I don't suppose we play all the guys possible.

Marie: Won't work ... we don't have enough guys.
Nikki: What would Ryan suggest ...
Marie: I'd better ask him.
Nikki: You look grumpy.

Marie: You would if you lead a team who lost 3 of last 4 games.
Nikki: Haven't had your root yet then.
Marie: Well, all these away games.
Nikki: I haven't done much either.

Marie: I've watched the Cassadaigua girls playing. They play like us.
Nikki: I think they've been looking at teams to copy.
Marie: Yeah well, we're the most feminine team apart from them around.
Nikki: They have learnt well.

Marie: Too well ...
Nikki: So what do we do.
Marie: I guess we beat Westies first and then work out a way to beat the girls.
Nikki: We're at home for that one at least.

Marie: Yes we are.
Nikki: We do have an issue.
Marie: Oh, Dan Ducky and his phobia to boobs.
Nikki: I think I have the solution.

Marie: You're going sleep with him or something.
Nikki: Err, yeah. I mean when he finds out boobs aren't dangerous but fun. Then the phobia will be gone.
Marie: Makes sense, oddly that's what I'd do actually. If I was younger that is.
Nikki: Thinking about retiring.

Marie: I'd have to if we don't f**king qualify.
Nikki: It's not your fault.
Marie: But it will be. It's the fault of everyone but everyone blames the leader.
Nikki: Poor Marie. How about you sleep with Ducky then.

Marie: I'm tempted.
17-05-2009, 04:07
(in their return from another resting moment, the court has less people, and you now can see the defendants, lawyers, the prosecutor, the witness and the judge clearly. But there are still many invaders)

JUDGE ALRADE - "We may go back to the trial procedures now, Lord Naplas. Can you please make this go faster? This is so repetitive and boring..."

THE SCOUT - "You know, half of these nations in these balls don't have any link with Urubupungá's illegal deals... you're just wasting my time."

LORD NAPLAS - "Orders of the Empress. She wants details of all the CCFM negotiations, so we'll continue with this. Please take one of the balls..."

THE SCOUT - "Okay, then... I wonder which country will be now... ahem... Starblaydia?"

LORD NAPLAS - "If it is Starblaydia that's written on the ball, then it is about Starblaydia you will talk about, Mr. Scout."

THE SCOUT - "But, sir... no player from Starblaydia came to play in the Cafundelense season during the last transfer window, so therefore it is certain that the CCFM didn't make illegal deals with the Starblaydi association!"

LORD NAPLAS - "So? We don't want to know just this... any kind of info you gave us can be helpful to strenghten the evidence against these five criminals, these five bastards, these five sons of..."

JUDGE ALRADE - "Please, Lord, contain yourself."

LORD NAPLAS - "Sorry, I didn't intend to. As I said, we need all the info we can get. What if Urubupungá has been taking money from the CCFM budget from himself for a longer time? If yes, then all deals since he got the position of president can be illegal."

THE SCOUT - "No! I was still employed at that time, and wouldn't allow that to happen!"

LORD NAPLAS - "But you coached the Nethertopian National Team for two World Cup qualifiers, didn't you?"

THE SCOUT - "Yes, I did."

LORD NAPLAS - "So while you were away, Urubupungá could be arranging the deals with the other associations without your consent. And, when you sent the messages with the offers, they would already know about Urubupungá's plans and proceed with them..."

THE SCOUT - "It could be, but... I doubt it! Honestly, I would have known!"

LORD NAPLAS - "But you aren't sure..."

THE SCOUT - "We can't always be sure, but... I wasn't so away of the CCFM during the time I was coaching Nethertopia! I even associated the two jobs some times, recommending players to the CCFM! And I am certain these deals with Nethertopia were completely legal and the announced price of the players was the correct one!"

LORD NAPLAS - "Maybe you were paying too much attention on the deals with Nethertopia and forgot to check the others..."

URUBUPUNGÁ - "This is a lie! He has no proof to back his accusations!"

TRAVASSOS - "I agree with my client here, Judge. He is just firing at all directions trying to persuade you to believe they have committed more deals than the evidences suggest. We still haven't got the opportunity to reply or to question the witness but, when we have, we'll show you that these deals were done with Ronaldo Bustos's money that came from illegal cassinos, not from the CCFM budget!"

FERRAZ - "And we intend to show that neither Bigodinho and Jardins were fully aware of Urubupungá's scheme."

JARDINS - "I really wasn't! I am just a simple player agent!"

JUDGE ALRADE - "You'll have the time to defend your point! But now, the time is of the Prosecutor! And I also have to agree with Mr. Travassos, Lord Naplas, please restrict your accusations to what you can prove through the evidences you have given to Mr. X."

LORD NAPLAS - "Sure, Your Honor. They will be more than enough. Well, Mr. Scout, now about Starblaydia."

THE SCOUT - "So be it. Starblaydia isn't a nation we made many deals with. When it appears in our nation shortlist, is ever in a high position, but it doesn't appear as often as other nations. In fact, it appears less often than most nations we have solid negotiations with. Each time it is for a different reason: one time because we didn't receive enough information from them, other time because we haven't received an answer last time we sent them an offer, another because we made many deals the last time... but, the fact is that the frequency isn't high."

LORD NAPLAS - "What about the price and the quality of the players?"

THE SCOUT - "Price? Pretty high, due to their good position on the rankings, of course. About the quality, we are always aiming for the best, as we do with any nation. Many Starblaydi players have achieved success in Cafundéu. The latest example is the midfielder Mus'haf, who won the prize of best player of the last Cafundelense season... Samba did a good job too, as Kaneda and Di Angelo at their times..."

ALFONSO DI ANGELO - "That's right. I had really memorable seasons in Cafundéu, especially with Petardos S/A, when I helped the team to win a TQCC title."

JARDINS - "Yes, and I was your agent!"

ALFONSO DI ANGELO - "Of course, you are my friend now! You are an excellent agent, although you tend to take a lot of money from us players... anyway, now I am a coach, if you could use your influence to get me a job in a first division team..."

JARDINS - "I can try, Alfonso..."


JUDGE ALRADE - "Please try to not interrupt the trial too much... soon a spirit will stop this to talk too! Or maybe even a talking dog! So, that's all the info you can give about Starblaydia?"

THE SCOUT - "I could give more, but they wouldn't be very useful."

LORD NAPLAS - "Okay, so take another ball."

THE SCOUT - "Certainly... another ball with many names... Hypocria, Edward City, Peisandros and Norwellia. Four this time. It is impressive how they find so many space in such a small ball!"

LORD NAPLAS - "You probably don't have much information about the negotiations with these countries, but can you say something about it?"

THE SCOUT - "Well, they made their first deals with the CCFM during the last transfer window. Many players, actually, although surely for weaker teams, and not by a high price. Of course, a pretty low price by Cafundelense standards, but probably higher than they receive from other associations..."

LORD NAPLAS - "And do you believe the deals with these countries were honest?"

THE SCOUT - "Of course not. After all, I know about Urubupungá's plans... and that's why this trial is happening, as I have reported it. Although the money involved in these deals wasn't high, the claimed price was still higher than the real one. I am sure this happened in the negotiations with Edward City and Hypocria, although I can't confirm it in the deals with Norwellia and Peisandros, as I was already out of the CCFM when they were prepared."

BIGODINHO - "I didn't hear of anything, I swear!"

URUBUPUNGÁ - "You cannot talk of something you don't know, Scout!"

MR. X - "But evidence number six confirms The Scout's words... we have nothing that makes the deals with Norwellia and Peisandros suspicious, although we can confirm the wrong announced price in the negotiations with Edward City and Hypocria."

BUSTOS - "Oh-oh, things are getting even worse for us."

CASAVERDE - "You know, maybe we could try to flee when this session ends."

BUSTOS - "I guess this would turn things even worse... we must believe Travassos will make the judge decide that our crime is of money laundering, it is our best shot."

LORD NAPLAS - "Another ball now, Mr. Scout."

THE SCOUT - "I know. This time the ball represents... Dancougar."

LORD NAPLAS - "Hehe... we have an evidence for this one as well... but please continue, Mr. Scout... tell us about the business with Dancougar."

THE SCOUT - "Oh, these are very enjoyable. I guess we can say that the favourite destination of the players coming from Dancougar is Cafundéu. We have a strong link with them. In our first negotiations, there were times we could bring up to five players from their country in just a single transfer window! This makes them as the second country with most activity of transfer of players to Cafundéu, just in front of Candelaria And Marquez and behind Valanora!"

BUSTOS - "Wow! Even I didn't imagine this... I thought Candelaria And Marquez and Valanora were far ahead than all the others."

URUBUPUNGÁ - "I think you are correct in a certain way. If you add Dancougar to this list, these three nations are probably far ahead than all the others."

LORD NAPLAS - "So tell us about the CCFM history of negotiations with Dancougar!"

THE SCOUT - "Since the beginning of Dancougar's history in the world footballing scene, the CCFM has worked towards establishing a bridge between Cafundéu and Dancougar for passage of players, if you get what I mean. Although I must say that this bridge is an one-way one: only Dancougar players tend to go to Cafundéu, and they do really well in our country. We have countless names of players that have got success... Yuji Watanabe, Sho Yukikaze, Shishio Jinguuji, Anthony Ingram, Lyle Dylandy... Dylandy was even named the best player of the Cafundelense league one season! So, the Cafundelense league welcomes the players from there. Dancougar is a success in Cafundéu, surely, and I bet our league is viewed a lot there!"

LORD NAPLAS - "It seems a pretty good situation, then... so the CCFM negotiates often with Dancougar?"

THE SCOUT - "Certainly! Dancougar is one of the top nations in our shortlist, ever! It has practically a permanent spot there! We are always keeping an eye at their players, looking for new talents to increase the rating of our league! And, when the deals are made, they are good ones, involving a good amount of money and many players... as I said before, there were times when we could sign five players at once! Nowadays, we get one or two in one transfer window, rarely more, but the link continues strong!"

JOÃO MASSARANDUBA - "He is right! There are always people from Dancougar in the Cafundelense league, in most of the teams! I support Clube Imperial, you know, and I am a fan of Yuji Watanabe!"

URUBUPUNGÁ - "That's right, but who asked for your opinion? Shut up and get out of here!"

JARDINS - "You are the one that have to shut up, Mr. Urubupungá! This one is the famous boxing fighter João Massaranduba, I am his agent too! Do you want to pick up a fight with him?"

URUBUPUNGÁ - "Well... no."

JUDGE ALRADE - "I will give him an advice: stop interrupting us, or I'll send you to a place where there will be many people wanting to fight with you... although they will have weapons and you won't. Now, Mr. Scout, let's resume."

LORD NAPLAS - "And my last question about Dancougar is the following: two players came to Cafundéu during this transfer window. Was their announces prices the right ones?"

THE SCOUT - "The intention of the CCFM was to sign three players. As far as I know, Urubupungá was willing to pay less than what he would announce, so I believe this did happen."

MR. X - "And evidence five confirms this."

THE SCOUT - "Shall I put my hand inside the box once again?"

LORD NAPLAS - "Please."

THE SCOUT - "Hmm... another multiple-named ball... Septentrionia and Bazalonia. What? We have made only five deals with both... Labrie, Bourassa, Gagnon, Ainsley and Cole! I can remember them all! And none of them was after I left the CCFM!"

LORD NAPLAS - "Why just five deals?"

THE SCOUT - "It is not easy to negotiate with them, the answer doesn't come as fast as with other nations. Also, they have less willingness to release their players than other nations with the same quality of players, so it's easier to negotiate somewhere else. We have to make good offers in order to clinch a deal, it's not too easy, and they're not so accessible."

LORD NAPLAS - "I see."

JUDGE ALRADE - "Let's stop a bit so I can watch the soap opera."


ALICE I - "Yes! Everything is going like expected! Lord Naplas is using all the time available for him, tiring the judge and the jury! When Travassos and Ferraz have their time to defend their clients, they'll have much less time than Naplas, and won't be able to persuade the jury!"

BARON BOSHCKE - "Maybe this wouldn't be needed. The amount of evidence we have seen here is pretty big... enough to send them to jail."

ALICE I - "Yes, but don't forget that our main goal is to see them being considered guilty of theft of public money! Lord Naplas must act to reduce their chances of being accused of money laundering instead."

PRINCE HECTOR - "From what I've seen, it is impossible for these deals to be money laundering... clearly they claimed to have spent more of the budget they actually did... they stole the Empire's money!"

ALICE I - "Don't even remind me of this... I feel something strange inside me when I remember the size of the treason they have committed... I feel like I am going to jump in front of them and cut their heads with a sword!"

PRINCE HECTOR - "But you don't have a sword."

ALICE I - "Thanks Lord, otherwise I would have already done that."

BARON BOSHCKE - "You should learn to control your anger, my Queen."

ALICE I - "What? Are you saying that I am hysterical? That I am psychotic? That I am suffering too much stress? Do you think I am weak, do you think I am crazy, do you think I don't have self control?"

BARON BOSHCKE - "Sorry, I didn't intend to anger you."

ALICE I - "I am not angry, you stupid useless piece of noble trash who doesn't respect your own Empress! If I was, you could be sure that you wouldn't have your head anymore! Now shut up before I get really angry!"



PRINCE HECTOR - "My daughter, don't shout here. There are people who can hear us..."

ALICE I - "Let them hear! If they say one thing against me, they won't wake up the next day!"

PRINCE HECTOR - "You know you don't have the power to ask for someone to be executed, you can't do it!"

ALICE I - "Yet, can't do it yet... but I'm working on something... this country is full of spies from foreign countries, I sense pointed ears everywhere... look at that man, he has a big nose, he is probably a spy from another country... what about that fat man? We must change things here, purge the spies and traitors, this country is full of them! I will start looking at the parliament files for traitors!" (leaves)

PRINCE HECTOR - "Gasp! It's serious than what I had imagined!"

BARON BOSHCKE - "I am afraid of her, Prince! Someone save us!"
Landau Institute
17-05-2009, 05:05
Diseases that have reached the Landau Institute and how to get cured from them
An original series by the Lowrni Island's nicest country (and the only one)

Now we continue our series with a really dangerous disease, that is slowly gaining terrain and hitting many places from all around the world, raising concerns inside the heads of most leaders: The Duck Flu. It first appeared during a Di Bradini Cup, affecting the country of Sorthern Northland, but most people preferred to ignore it instead of acting towards a prevention for it. Lately, the disease started to affect swans as well, and the chances of it reaching the human body increased. Last year, finally the first case of contamination duck/swan to a human was detected in Sorthern Northland, and the worry is that all countries will be affected by it soon. A curious point about the Duck Flu is that it affects ducks/swans in a different way than humans. Inside them, the Duck Influenza actually gives them more benefits than harm. The duck starts to grow large, and can reach a size twice of a human being. Also, their sexual activity increases, so they can multiply their species really fast. That's why epidemics of Duck Flu among the ducks and swans usually led to later mass attacks of these animals against humans, as their population increases by such an amount that they attack others in order to win territory. It is also believed that these animals affected by the Duck Flu start to feel themselves superior to any other creature, and so they attack them, with the pure intention of destroying these inferior races. They even have a war cry, widely known in Sorthern Northland, which is "Quak, quak, quaaaaack!"

Many attacks of ducks against humans have been reported, and more recently attacks of swans. The fear is so high that Sorthern Northland has a "no ducks and swans" policy inside the country, and these animals can't enter the country's borders. The captured animals are sent to special prisons for ducks, of maximum security. But even with these procedures Sorthern Northland still suffers from periodic attacks. Nowadays, as already commented, people are suffering from the Duck Flu, but the effects on them are bad: they start to have a voice similar to Donald Duck's; cough everytime; their face turns whiter or yellow; they lose some strength of their legs; and feathers start to grow on them, although small ones. But scientists have finally started to work towards the discovery of a cure for this threatening disease. According to reports, a man was seen shooting at ducks and swans close to his home, being unaffected by the Duck Influenza. He killed four ducks, three swans and two hundred twenty-nine poor pigeons which were flying around there too. It is believed that Chicão Trombada, this man, is immune to the Duck Flu, and a cure can be found by studying his blood.
Jeru FC
17-05-2009, 06:38
Kaye's Blog

God damn that stupid Gray. I mean all he had to do is help the team stop other from scoring. If he can't too that, he should leave it someone who can. Trust Gray to attempt a clearance kick which he's really crappy at and then it hitting an opposition striker so they score a goal. Anyway, it wouldn't matter but we lost the game which means our buffer to the Quoddites is down to one win. We should have a draw but stupid Gray put the end to that.

The ref in that game didn't give us one penalty kick against the opposition despite quite a few legit claims. I think he felt sorry for them and didn't want us to score too many goals which is wrong.

I hope everyone likes my new video lately. Driving around Jeruselem nude is lots of fun apart from getting booked by police but they actually think it was funny. Anyway, it's be better if I had a proper car but I'll make do.

There's a lot people out there who think I should go back to just a football player. I will not be playing football all my life and I'm certainty not going be stuck in the army all my life either. I'm pretty crap at a lot of things but making indecent videos seems to come naturally.

I do not sleep with Jeru FC team members or the coach. It's not me, people are getting me mixed up with that whore Julie. She'll sleep with anyone really even the Pope!

Our new leader has invited us to lunch if we qualify. I think me and Julie will be fighting for attention then. I know the new King is a busy person and doesn't have time for wife hunting but we'll make sure we qualify. Naturally the girls in the team want to make a good impression too on our leader. I'm sure Julie is going act like a complete whore ... taking ideas from the King's mother of course. Me, I dunno. But I'll see if he thinks I'm worthy of any attention. I can't rule out anything.
17-05-2009, 10:51

The Opereta national team was treated to five-star hotel accommodations at a ritzy East Penthoria resort free of charge by the Secristan Department of Sports. Additionally, the SDOS paid for all of their meals, which included extravagant dining. This is the first time the SDOS has ever done something like this and must make a lot of people wonder why the hell the would do such a thing. It was all part of the plan, as you see the people of Opereta actually live in the subway system of Urna Eletronica’s city. They are poor and filthy, but instead of trying to freeload off of other people, they must be given credit for their effort to try and better themselves without whining towards their government to do it for them. The accommodations would be like something they have never experienced before, and to have them feel like royalty for a few days. Perhaps they would be mesmerized by the view of the Penthoria River, or take advantage of the mini bar within their rooms (we are told that they were sure to do this). All of this first class treatment would distract them from the game, and when it came time to play our beloved Millionaires, they would be ill-prepared. They had, after all, just dropped a 5-spot on Capitalizt SLANI, so they had to be respected. Katie Simpson explains, “It was a tough compromise on our part to have to spend money on their accommodations like this, but we really felt that they would feel as though they were in some kind of heaven while at the resort and that they would be distracted. When we looked back at the much higher then expected number of purchases of the entire qualifying package before this all began, we felt as though doing this would be well within our budgets and not put a strain on a couple of projects that we are working on.” Purchases for the game were much higher then expected too, which really seemed to stun Simpson, “We’re trying to make sense of it actually. The amount of purchases for this game was our above our window of expectation by quite a bit. Of course, we are not complaining about this, but some type of advertising we did for the game must have been much more effective then we thought. The 46R average bid price per seat was also well above the range of 30-35 in which we were hoping for. Hopefully, this is because of excitement from our team’s having a strong chance to qualify, still.”

It is believed that some of these higher then expected numbers were due to our people simply wishing to watch the rich make a mockery of a poor out on the field. That didn’t really happen as our players were quite businesslike in their approach to the match. Secristan was without the services of Matthew Marino, Michael Cardona, and Brian Marcott, all of whom were serving their one-game team-imposed suspension for their actions prior to the Lemetel match. Curtis Coleman was also still unavailable due to his hamstring injury, so coach Ryan Fullerton was forced to start Tyler Benware, who would make his international debut. This is the spot that Justin Simon started at against Lemetel, but because he was deemed ineffective, Benware would get a shot in this one. 36-year old James Rogan, our all-time leading goal scorer would start in place of Cardona. This is the second start in a row for Rogan, who was only expecting to be a sub during qualifying as he has lost some of that blinding speed which allowed him to score many of those goals. However, Rogan was strong against Lemetel, scoring the first goal of that game, and he would duplicate that feat here. He showed signs of that great speed to get by two Opereta defenders on his way to scoring in the 21st minute. The impressive looking run was also helped by the fact that Opereta was very lethargic at the start of the match. The Millionaires added a second goal in the 32nd minute on a very-routine looking play. Somehow a cross from Benware made it into in the box and Kevin Tucker easily outleapt his man, Formoso Anhangabau for the header opportunity. The goalkeeper Vila Madalena should have made the save, but he did not, and it was 2-0. The Millionaires had two more great chances in the first half, before surviving a re-charged Opereta team in the second to get the two goal victory.

Secristan is still outside the top two with their 15 points. They are tied with Bazalonia for second, but the Bazalopes will have the tiebreaker due a 1-1-0 record against us in the two head to head meetings, so we will need to get around them. First place Capitalizt SLANI has 16 points. Our next game, against SLANI will probably be for all the rusas. The game is at Megabyte Industries Stadium, and the average bid price per seat is expected to soar over 250 rusas, and possibly over 300. Bazalonia will be in Lemetel. SLANI will take on Lemetel following us, while we are in Quakmybush and Bazalonia hosts Opereta. It makes this a must win. Winning won’t mean qualification since Quakmybush will also be a tough opponent, but losing or drawing can’t likely be overcome.
17-05-2009, 11:51
Meghan’s Space

Gordon Bay City is on quite a run. I’m not the most up to date on my long term World Cup history, but I’d have to imagine that it’s been a super long time since any nation entered qualifying unranked and then went on to qualify from their group. If they were in any other group, then we are probably rooting for them here in Cassadaigua, but we are not. They are nothing more then another obstacle on our path to qualification. It ends up being our fifth draw in eight games, which will continue to make people wonder what our record would be if all five of these draws ended in either a win or loss having gone all the way through shootouts. There are four undefeated teams remaining in qualifying, and three of them played in Group 2 four years ago. You got the reigning champion Big Blues and Daehanjeiguk, as well as Kura-Pelland. And then there is us, at 3-5-0. One reader e-mailed me, “Has a team ever gone undefeated yet not qualified?” I’d imagine not, and to think we can finish undefeated is really looking way too far ahead and nothing something that we wish to be doing at this point. It’s also completely irrelevant, as there is not one person in our locker room who “feels undefeated”. Five draws equate nearly, to two losses. The group is so wide open now that it can go so many different ways, and we certainly cannot do anything but defeat the Islands of Qutar. We will be at home for the contest, and I hope that we get the same kind of loud and rowdy fan support that we got for our matchups against Jeruselem and Milchama at Concord Heights Stadium. Since beating Milchama in their first game, The Islands of Qutar have only managed one point, however that came against us in our meeting with them on the road. We get the three points, then I believe there will be a classic finale against Jeruselem. Michelle Baynes has been pretty happy with our approach for this game, but she did lecture Michelle Garrett briefly on looking too far ahead to the Jeruselem game. So again, we hope that all of you are loud in your support of us in our next match, but we have one request of you. No mentions of Jeruselem in any chants or whatever. The Islands of Qutar are our opponent, and a worthy opponent despite their record.

There are not any goals to speak of against Gordon Bay City. There was plenty of action, but as we both seemed to pack the midfield, there wasn’t a lot of movement outside of the middle third, and when there was, the defenses were outplaying the forwards of their opponents. A few chances, such as Stacie Kerrigan-Fraser’s shot in the 28th minute, looked like they might result in goals, but that wasn’t to be the case. Our defense did a good job on the Gordon Bay City shooters, if only we had scored a goal to have made that stand up and get a victory. Gordon Bay City is a strong team, and will remain in this race until the end. Unfortunately.
Gordon Bay City
17-05-2009, 13:38
“Al! Alan! You need to get yourself up in the air more, mate! No point Brian or Kxaŋ͡ǂi hitting them high if yer not going t’nod ‘em down for Otters…”

The striker waddled over, unsteadily flapping his wings in a show of exhaustion. “ ‘Preciate that gaffer, good advice, take it on board, take it on board, but er… I’m honestly shattered, mate. The old flying thing, y’know, not as young as I used t’be, have to say it, don’t want to say it, have to say it. Can’t take too many more matches of this…”

“You won’t have to, Al! Ten more minutes of this, two more matches after that, and we’re either there or we’re not. Either way, you can put your feet up for a bit then, if that’s physically… er… But not until then, right? Now come on, get back out there! Ten minutes to snatch the winner, Al!”

The striker groaned, and flapped wearily back out onto the pitch as Katie Cincoski hobbled back into the fray herself and the match got underway once more. Truth be told, Mark knew, the chances of him piercing Kristen Stockton’s net today were slim to none. The match was all over, as far as the players were concerned. The two midfields had run, lurched, galloped or loped themselves to a standstill, and since the Cassadagans had grown used to settling for draws in any case there would be no prizes handed out for guessing the final score of this one. But he had to push his striker now, if there was any chance of them taking anything off Milchama, and Alan was showing real signs of flagging of late. Perhaps he was missing his family back… wherever, or maybe he was just becoming a tad complacent. Mark was mildly concerned about the amount of bling the winged forward was wearing these days, mostly gold items knocked up by Stellan Blå, but Alan has assured him the various chains, bracelets and, currently, coronets were of vital importance to avoid ‘the ol’ homicidal psychosis’, and the manager hadn’t felt like questioning the point. His right-back was a camel, after all. These were curious days.

He glanced up from his musings to see Aino hopping towards the touchline.

“Injured again, lad?”

“It is most frustrating,” the captain sighed, taking his place alongside Mark in the dugout and grimly strapping his knee.

“You’ll shake it off before we arrive at the World Cup, lad. Trust me, they all do…”

“If we make it, Mark Baker…”

Mark raised an eyebrow. “Are you doubting us, Aino? We are superior, lad! We’ll blow them Milchamians out the water, get what we need in Qutar… job’s a good’un! They’ll be fêting as the new Oikoidia in no time. The world’s our oyster… BM-CHM GET THE BALL OUT OF THE BOX, YEH GREAT PUDD’N!… So less of this negativity, eh? A point against this lot’s a good result, believe you me…”

“Oh, I believe you… I truly do. But we would appear to be in a minority…”

On cue, the final whistle blew. The manager’s hearing wasn’t what it used to be, but the boos were very audible. Mark rolled his eyes.

“Look, there are always a few idiots who expect the world to be handed to ‘em on a plate. Doesn’t matter whether you’re the biggest country in the world or just a couple of streets and a pub on an island, there’s always someone who expects better than your best. Take it as a compliment lad, that they really think you’re that good…”

“No. No, I am sorry Mark Baker, but you do not understand our ways. The nobility cannot comprehend this sport or its realities, I see that now.”

“You do…”

“I am different. My sister and I, we are not like the others. We are more than them. This country, my country, my team… It deserves better than them. Better supporters. Wiser, more knowledgeable. More deserving of the approaching glory…”

“Probably,” Mark agreed vaguely, as he shook a few passing hands, as applicable, and gave the rest a congratulatory pat on the back as they wandered past down the tunnel. “Don’t think it works like that though, Aino. Can’t just change your fans at the drop of a hat.”

“Why not?”

“It’s just… Not the done thing. There’s no rule about it, I don’t suppose, but…”

“Even if there were, the rules are there to be stretched. Is that not what you tell us? No…” Aino struggled to his feet, a serene expression planted across his face. “No. I shall give this team supporters they deserve… And we shall be marvellous…”

Mark bit his lip as the captain marched away, ow’ing softly with every step. He caught the eye of the kit faerie, the former striker known as Pomola, and shrugged helplessly.

“For what it is worth, Mark Baker, I would recommend you keep a highly close eye on Lord Aino. Though I must confess, if I had had to select a member of that family to go, I believe you would say, ‘stark raving bonkers’, it would not have been the brother…”

“Aye,” Mark nodded, as the faerie wandered away and left him alone on the touchline, the stadium emptying hurriedly. A small corner of the ground remained seated, booing softly. “They don’t even know how to boo properly,” he muttered to himself. “Won’t have to for much longer though, will you? Not if soft lad gets his shiny new supporters, you nobility’ll be out on your arses.”

You poor sods, Mark added to himself, and wondered why.


“Nil-aaaaallll, to us, more or less; nil-aaaaallll to us, sort of…”

“Ooh-ah, floating head, I said ooh-ah floating head!”

“Ad-ih-haaan, Ad-ih-haaan; we are the famous Gordonbaycity and we’re off to Ad’ihan, orpossiblyKelssek!”

The Candelariasian men glanced at each other furtively, before relaxing. The faerie patrol had passed down the street offering them only the merest of looks before marching, or possibly prancing, off into the cool evening. Hague Street was almost deserted now; light peeking out from the firmly shut curtains of the handful of houses still occupied, while a small group of local teenagers looted the abandoned stationery shop opposite. Barry frowned.

“D’you not think we should be stopping them… maybe?”


“Probably counts as a valid act of civil disobedience, Baz.”

“Yeah, but… Not sure I like the idea of a bunch of hoodlums running around with, y’know… scissors an’ that. Staple guns.”

“They’re jus’ looking for the little bottles of correction fluid, Baz… And I had all them away t’other week.” He dropped his voice to a whisper. “Thought they might be useful in, y’know, bomb-making equipment an’ that.”

“Oh… Are they?”

“Don’t think so, no,” Tony replied sadly. “I did manage to snaffle a handful of ring binders, though.”

The others nodded sagely. Those snappy bits in the middle could do a lot of damage to the unwary. The rebellion was taking shape.

The wind fluttered the tablecloths across the alfresco dining area of Two Guys from Urajbina, as Barry irritably dipped a dripping hunk of elbillug renretsew into a steaming dish of norom. He was as enthusiastic as any of them over the possibility of overthrowing Gordon Bay City’s new masters, but he felt his was alone amongst his co-conspirators in allowing reality to poke its nose into proceedings. The fae weren’t about to give up the town without a fight, that was certain. And what could a few dispirited humans hope to achieve against that bloody Queen and her minions? He said as much. Tony almost choked on his toidi.

“We’ll have none of that kind of talk here, Barry Williamson! Do you want to live in abject servitude for the rest of your life, eh? Or even for one day longer? Vekaj!” he added, straining his neck and shouting at the restaurant’s last remaining employee, “You got any of that yranidro dearb left? The snappy stuff? Good rebellin’ grub, that is!”

“We are all out, Mr Lukaszczyk! I have however fruit pastels taken from vacant corner shop!”

“That’ll have to do,” Tony nodded gravely. “See what we’ve been reduced to, gentlemen? Proud, upstanding Candelariasians now living out of the gutter!”

“The Queen says we can pick and choose whatever we like from the food shipment from t’other side of the border, as long as we chip in with keeping the electricity going an’ that…”

“In the gutter!” Tony repeated angrily. “We don’t have to bow down to likes of Them! We’re our own men, always have been!”

“You’ve been on the take for the last twelve months,” Barry said mildly.

“Yeah, ‘cos of me back! But that’s Candelariasian handouts, innit!”

“So’s the food, Tone. The fae are only facilitating the transfer o–”

“Just who’s side’re you on, Barry? ‘Cos the way I see it…”

“Here you are gentlemen… May I take a seat in planning our glorious revolution yes?”

Tony waved a hand without looking up, as the man squeezed in alongside him. “More the merrier, Vekaj… So’s I was saying, the way I see it, there’s Us, and there’s Them. There’s onl–”

“And the floating head.”

“There’s… Us and Them and the Floating Head, yeah. And the bloke with the wings and… Yeah, anyway, ‘cos if you’re not with us, Barry, then…”

“I’m with you, Tone. ‘Course I am! What d’you take me for?”

“Well then…”

“It’s just… I mean, for one thing, you’ve heard the messages from Morton, right? We’re not supposed to even try and take the town back until they say so!”

“And are we listening to the furry old bitch, eh? The one that didn’t give us the slightest warning that there were a bunch of evil pixies on our own bloody doorstep? The one that just happened to forget to mention that there are bat-people with bloody great wings and men with eyes on their feet, and sporting camels, and God knows what else, living all across the bloody planet!”

“Maybe she didn’t know…”

“Ahh, don’t give me that muck, mate. She knew well enough, you mark my words. They’ve been fibbing to us fer years…”

“Come on, that’s a little far-fetched, don’t you think?” Barry sighed in exasperation. “They can’t keep that kind of thing quiet! People’d speak out…”

“Perhaps we take matter of revolution back in hand now?” Vekaj insisted feverishly, clenching his fists. Tony nodded.

“He’s right… We shouldn’t be letting ourselves get distracted, fellas! Now, what I’m thinking is, how difficult would it be to target that Queen of theirs, take her out, an–”

“Very,” Barry said flat. “Awfully so. And say that we do, Tone. Then what? What happens when they come to exact their revenge on us, eh?”

“Then we fight back, Bazza! With tooth and nail, an–”

“And with staple gun in one hand and stale French bread in the other? Oh, bring on the Breadstick Rebellion, Tony!”

“D’you want see what I can do with my breadstick?” Tony muttered darkly.

“I fear Mister Williamson correct in assessment, Mr Lukaszczyk… I wish to not feel steel blade in stomach just yet.”

“That’s just ‘cos yer new here, Vekaj. You ain’t got that Candelariasian fightin’ spirit yet!”

“That what?” Barry asked incredulously. “Tone, we haven’t been at war in our bloody lifetimes. We’re going t’get slaughtered if we try anything now! D’you honestly want that? A glorious death, eh?”

“People’d sing songs about us,” Tony replied doubtfully.

“Oh, undoubtedly. They’d have a nightmare trying to find rhymes for ‘bloody stupid morons’, though!”

The other men around the table had watched proceedings in silence, but Tony could feel the tide was turning against him. He sniffed.

“Jus’ think we should be doing summat,” he muttered. “Not just sittin’ around here, noshing cheerfully on inferior foreign grub… No offence, Vek.”

“None is taken. I too wish I had proper ingredients. But I must make do, Mr Lukaszczyk. I think we all must. For now…”

“Yeah… Fine.” Tony slid his chair back peevishly, and dragged himself to his feet. “Come on, then. Let’s trot back to our compound like good little humans.”

The others nodded sadly, left a few reformed pennies behind them on the table, and started off down the street.

“You coming, Vekaj?” Barry called back. “I know you don’t live over at the compound or owt, but I still wouldn’t want t’be out and about past midnight, if I were you…”

“Thank you, Mr Williamson. I merely need to clear away here…”

“Sure… ‘Bye then, Vek. Take care…”

The restaurateur nodded, and watched the men amble down the street. “And take care of yourself too, Mr Williamson,” Puao sighed. “And thank the gods there is a voice of wisdom in this accursed town…”
17-05-2009, 13:49
Akbarabad stumble at a crucial stage of qualification.

(Akbarabad press, AP): The Akbarabad national side suffered their first loss of the campaign, a dissapointing and heartwrenching 1-0 loss at home Kosovoe. Altough the team still maintain a slender 1 point lead over the the third placed teams, the teams next match is their potentially hardest, away to to seed Cafundéu while both Kosovoe and Norwellia have considerably softer oppositon. Altough, a win at home in their last match against Panuul is likely, the team have to obtain at least a point at Cafundéu with other results going our way to ensure qualification.
17-05-2009, 14:41
Mark Water and Erwin Visser shared a room in the luxurious hotel in Hypocria. They had a few minutes left before the training would start and Water was changing into his goalie kit. Erwin was done already and was watching the highlights of Nethertopia - Hypocria from the last those two teams had met. Erwin had been looking like a sack of potatoes for days now...


"Wozzat Er?"

"Got this song stuck in my head. I can't get it out, no matter how hard I try."

"There's nothing wrong with that."

"Mark, it was that song that the Hypocrians sang when we were zero to one behind ..."

"Oh, shit man. When you missed that penalty?"

"Yes. It's not coming out of my head. I dream about it. Nightmares, you know. And when I wake up, it still buzzes in my head. Over and over again.

Ready for the trash bin
Can't shoot
Can't play foot
Let's beat him up with a grin

Over and over again, hear me!" Erwin Visser looked up to the Nethertopian goalie. His eye twitched. "It's driving me crazy!"

"dude, calm down man..." Mark gave Erwin a bottle of water. "Drink some, relax. You're not failing, we've won that match."

"Not after I was subbed for Dries..." Erwin looked Mark in the eyes. "What if I screw up... What if I blow our chances to qualify for the World Cup, Mark?"

"That's not going to happen. We're here to win and we will."

"But if not, we are doomed to play in that Cup of Harmony once again. We're not able to qualify behind the group stage there, Margaret damn it!"

"Yes, Erwin, you're going to fail."


"Come one, Erwin! You're one of Nethertopia's biggest talents! This might be the worst moment ever for you to fall to anxiety."

Erwin stood up and started walking. "Don't you think that I know that? I really want to help the team. But once I start thinking of the consequences my actions on the field could have... I... J-just collapse. I've been afraid to show it to everybody. But if this happens on the field, then.... Then what, Mark?"

"Tell Sjors, he might have a solution."

"I don't want to be benched, Mark. I know that I'm the best attacking midfielder of the Falcons. And I should take responsibility."

"Yes, you should. And if you know this, why are you whining to me?"

"Well... I just needed a talk. Some discussion to get this off my mind." Erik smiled. "I feel a little relieved now, thanks."

Mark gave a friendly punch on the shoulder of his team mate. "No problem. Next time, go see the team psychiatrist though," he mocked.

The door of their hotel room opened and Andrés García entered. "Time to train guys, one more time before the match!"

Both players got up, took their bag packs and left the room.
17-05-2009, 15:50
17-05-2009, 16:46
The play was far from the crisp, fluid flow that Franz Braddock wanted, but at least the effort was finally there.

Sarzonia snapped a two-match losing streak with a badly-needed 1:0 victory over Algal States in front of a sold out crowd of 88,920 at Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium in Woodstock.

Forward Matt Lynch scored the match's only goal in the 27th minute with a well-timed blast from 26 yards out that caught the Algal States goalkeeper flat footed.

"The execution wasn't what I wanted, but we'll take the result," said manager Franz Braddock. He has the Stars in position to qualify for the World Cup for the first time since World Cup XXX, prior to his native Cafundéu's arrival on the international sporting scene.

The victory allowed Sarzonia to remain two points clear of third place Krytenia, which routed Terra Anatidae 3:0. The Holy Empire's 5:3 victory over Logria and Cambrow allowed the world's fifth ranked nation and defending World Cup finalists to remain one point clear of Sarzonia for the Group 13 title.

However, the Stars know one thing: They control their destiny. A victory in their final match, away to Terra Anatidae, will get them into the World Cup finals no matter what Krytenia do in their match against Logria and Cambrow. The Holy Empire face Algal States. Both Krytenia and The Holy Empire play away in their final matches.

None of that matters to the Stars, however. To a man, they say they're focused on their fixture against Terra Anatidae.

"Nothing that happens outside the [Terra Anatidae stadium] matters if we don't do what we're supposed to do," said defender Ben Davis. The fact that a Krytenia draw or loss would send the Stars through no matter what didn't matter either.

"We don't want to hope that Logria will do what we couldn't," Davis said. "If we beat Terra Anatidae, nothing Krytenia does will matter. We don't want to back into the finals. We want to earn our way through."
The Macabees
17-05-2009, 18:08
Macabees remain group sovereigns

Steroga—One goal was all that was necessary to solidify the Imperials' spot as group leaders for the World Cup Forty-Six qualifying round. Neither the 3–5 Yaforite victory, nor the 4–5 Newmanistani success, were enough to close the point gap with the Golden Whites. One single goal decided who would end this round as group leaders and who would not be able to qualify. And so, the race for qualification has narrowed down to Yafor and Newmanistan, fighting for the second spot. Newmanistan will need to win the next game and hope that Yafor lose, in order to achieve the qualification. Otherwise, they will be castigated to another Cup of Harmony tournament. The McLaughlin Islands were left out of the race due to their contested loss against Newmanistan; however, the nine goal thriller was one of the best matches of the round. In any case, both Yafor and Newmanistan will be playing for qualification next round. The former will be hosting the McLaughlin Islands and the latter will be hosting Steroga. The Macabees will be hosting Banten States, looking for a win to carry the team's morale through to the World Cup finals.

The Imperials decided to play a "safe" 4–5–1 formation, allowing them to control the midfield from a very early stage in the game. However, Steroga played a 5–3–2, giving them a very defense defense and disallowing a quick goal on part of the visiting team. And so, it became a classic slug fest. Although Steroga found it difficult to advance past the mid-dividing line, the visitors found it increasingly frustrating to open gaps in the opponent's defense and score. The game turned into one where Steroga was successfully fending off continued and persistent Imperial drives, while the Macabee squad was attempting to exploit holes in the defense. But the highly defensive Sterogan formation made that all but impossible. So, the first half ended with a frustrating 0–0, and it looked as if the Imperials would have to go home to another goalless draw. But, there were still another forty-five minutes to go.

The second half was marked by incessant fowling on both side's part, although especially by the Sterogan defense. As the minutes ticked by, the Macabee midfield began to form cracks in their opponent's lines, using these to achieve several shots-on-goal, although nothing decisive. This continued for at least the first twenty minutes of the second half, and at this point it truly seemed as if the game would be goalless. Steroga had all but abandoned the idea of scoring, instead focusing on battling their opponents to a draw (distributing the point). The decisive moment came in the seventy-second minute, when a Sterogan defender toppled Shost Glen in the goal area. It was an obvious fowl and an obvious penalty kick, and it would prove to be Steroga's undoing. Despite protesting, the referee called the penalty and it seemed as if the Golden-Whites would finally score that well deserved goal to give them the three points and guarantee them first place in the group. The team's fate was put into the hands of striker Shost Glen; or, more accurately, put at his feet. He would decide how many points the team would walk away with today.

He decided well. His soft, elegant shot went right past the defending goalkeeper and into the back of the net. He had scored the 0–1, and it would prove fortunate, as it was the only goal of the game. Although the Macabees continued to probe the defense, in search of that second goal, they were forced to recoil as the Sterogan formation opened up, looking to equalize. And so, the match turned into a boring stalemate and ultimately ended with a timely victory by the Golden-Whites—their seventh victory this round (seven out of nine games, with one defeat and one draw).

The other games in the group were the exact opposite of boring. Fighting for qualification, the McLaughlin Islands put up a terrible fight against Newmanistan in their own stadium. Hoping to appease their fans at home, the former almost brought the Newmanistan team to their knees. But, Newmanistan's squad, knowing full well the danger of losing, were able to come out on top, keeping themselves at one point from Yafor. A loss would have been "relegation" to the Cup of Harmony. Unfortunately, the McLaughlin Islands was left out of the race. They are now four points from Newmanistan and five from Yafor. However, most believe that if there is a team which could "usurp" Yafor's position as second it is Newmanistan. Besides, it's about time Newmanistan qualified regularly for the World Cup finals. Unfortunately for Newmanistan, Yafor also won their game in an eight goal thriller. Banten States scored three goals, but could not match Yafor's five, leaving Banten States last in the group (they have only won once out of the nine games disputed). For fans of other nationalities, this means that Group Ten will have a very interesting finale, as the two remaining unqualified teams vie for second place. For their own nationalities, it only means tension and pain. But, that is another beauty of football... the sheer emotion.

The Golden-Whites, on their part, do not need to win in order to qualify or remain first. They have been the only qualified team in the group for the past two fixtures. However, they will be playing Banten States at home and a win would be most convincing. The stadium, with a capacity of 150,000, is likely to be filled to the brim. Tens of thousands of other fans are expected to watch the match in the Plat d'Gor. It would be embarrassing, to say the least, to lose to the last placed team in the group (although, those things do happen; we are simply "knocking on wood", here), and it would be wonderful if the team handed their fans a nice, final victory prior to the World Cup finals group stage. Because, let's be perfectly honest with ourselves—qualifying is one thing, and passing into the round of sixteen is completely another. The Golden-Whites are going to be playing in the "major league", against teams that already have established World Cup histories. The Imperials are the new team and the most likely to be eliminated from the competition during the group stage. Although, this doesn't mean that our beloved squad could not prove us wrong, or that Fortune will still be on our side. Perhaps we are wrong. We hope we are wrong. Nevertheless, one last win would be perfect.

It's true, though, that the team has already begun to look beyond the last game of the qualification round. As saddening as it is, the team is already looking for a replacement for Vieb Tahol, the midfielder who died only a few games ago. No replacement has been announced yet. The news was given during a press release, by the team's manager:

"Yes, we're looking for another midfielder. We need that second-string midfielder to make substitutions during the game. Keeping a fresh squad on the pitch at all times will be imperative to success and to mitigate other team's advantage in experience and skill. We will also be calling up another defensive midfielder if Dertish Malfor does not fully recover from his injuries."

When asked about the team's prospects in the finals:

"Look, I know that we are a new team to this tournament. This is our first qualification. Let's not get over our heads. Also, remember that before the qualification round began we were told that our goal should be to fight for second place. Hell, nobody even expected us to qualify. Not only have we qualified, but we are undisputed leaders. We have finished over a team that is twelfth in the world. As far as I know or care, we have overshot our goals. We have given more than was asked from us. For that we should be praised. I am not saying that we should quit now. That we have done our job, and it's over. It is clearly not. We will give it our all during the finals. However, what I am saying is that everyone should be ecstatic about where we are right now. Nobody should be let down if we do not pass to the round of sixteen. We have already done more than what a team of our rank normally does. We have sent the message that we are a team that will wield true power in the coming future."

The list of already qualified teams is full with big names: Septentrionia, Bostopia (who already squashed us during a friendly), Starblaydia, Qazox, Sorthern Norland, Peisandros, et cetera. The group stage is going to be a hearty "welcome" to the "new guys". But, as Tier Bergan said, we have already accomplished more than enough to call the current squad the best squad in Macabee team history.
17-05-2009, 19:00
Purple Knights Heading To World Cup

The Knights are headed to their Third World Cup, after a 3-0 win against Swartaz last night the Knights were assured advancement when niether Nethertopia nor the Archregimnacy were able to get three points and a victory. The Knights will play Nethertopia in the final qualifying game next week. Brian Ying Uing was last nights star player scoring all three goals in the 40th, 67th, and 80th minutes. It as a fun game and know the Knights can worry about the World Cup instead of qualifying.
17-05-2009, 22:40

Secristan’s chances of qualifying for the World Cup were dealt a crushing blow as Capitalizt SLANI edged our Millionaires by the score of 2-1. However, thanks to a stunning victory by Lemetel over Bazalonia, we still remain very much alive heading into the final matchday, which is all the Secristan Department of Sports was looking for. We’ll breakdown the scenario in a bit, as first the Millionaires were looking to defeat the six-time World Cup champions (including the Bedistani Cups). Coach Fullerton had his two starters back in the lineup from their suspensions and Michael Cardona and Matthew Marino were in pretty strong form. They really had no excuse not to be. Marino generated several first half chances as Mazerinne Beck seemed to have a tough time defending his ball control abilities. He took four shots in the first twenty minutes, but probably would have been better advised to pass as only one of them made it on net. SLANI had to feel good surviving this initial rush, and as the game wore on, they began to look more and more like the prestigious soccer machine in which they are. Gary Pollard gave them the lead in the 40th minute, and this was a backbreaking strike because it was a shot Brian Carver should have gotten. Carver has been great all World Cup and this was the worst goal in which he had allowed since the beginning. SLANI rode the momentum from their late first half goal and controlled the second half, with the Millionaires on their heels. In the 57th, Shawn Wooliver was booked for a lazy play on Carl Schwarz, especially costly when Schwarz was awarded the penalty kick, which he buried to make it 2-0. For a little while, the Millionaire response was good, and a Todd Carney 67th minute goal gave us hope, but we were unable to get another score, and suffer the defeat.

The final match of World Cup qualifying for the Millionaires will be no easy task as they head to Quakmybush. They need to get a win over the Celts, and most people will predict them to do so, but an intense game is expected. Secristan is tied with Bazalonia for second in the group, however the Bazalopes have the tiebreaker, so we will need them to either lose or draw their final game, which is against Opereta in Bazalonia. The Opereta team, those poverty-stricken guys that live in the subway were promised a 5-million rusa donation to their effort by the Secristan Department of Sports if they are able to get a result which sends us to the World Cup. It will only be paid if we make the World Cup 46 field. The SDOS was pleased with all of the financial aspects of the game with Capitalizt SLANI, reporting that the average bid per seat was 273 Rusas, the second highest total ever for a soccer game. Only the game against Jeruselem in World Cup 43 had a higher price. Pay-per-view purchases for the game were high, but that was expected and not exactly big news. Katie Simpson, our SDOS rep tell us, “We are happy that all the games will prove to be meaningful, but even we are cheering for the victory here and for Opereta to get a result that will send us through. It would be great if we could be part of the World Cup 46 field, and we all sense how close it is. If not, then we have taken positive steps towards getting there in four years.” The SDOS will also televise the Opereta-Bazalonia game for 49 Rusas. All proceeds will be added to the 5-million rusa donation promised to Opereta if they help us out. Otherwise, the SDOS will simply keep the revenue.
17-05-2009, 23:05
Blue Tornado Close to Qualification

With one matchday to go the tornado still have a chance to qualify for the World Cup for the Second time in the teams history. As it stands after last night's 3-2 victory over Panuul the Tornado find themselves tied for the second qualification spot with Norwelia, up next for the tornado is Phillips Island which should be an easy game, and Norwellia faces of against Cafundeu so things are looking up as all they will need is a win and they will be in for the second time in team history.
18-05-2009, 00:04
The Jeruselem coach Scarlet "Scooter" Ferris was looking at the team squad to play against all girl from Cassadaigua. Former coach Ryan Greenly was helping out.

Ryan: Why are we doing this when we haven't made the finals now.
Scarlet: Because ... we're playing for pride.
Ryan: But it doesn't matter now.
Scarlet: I know but we want to win at home at least.


Federline Ferris Bovine

Bingle Kool Seabourne Dallas Sloan

Clarke Kinsata

Ryan: Why the 3-5-2 formation and why no males.
Scarlet: Look, the girls from Cassadaigua have been playing mainly all male teams. I'm going to field an aggressive all girl team of our own.
Ryan: I don't understand why it would work?
Scarlet: I want a catfght, two teams of women head to head. Women vs women means a lot of bitching and this means a game which will favour us.

Ryan: But they beat us 4-3 last time at the same kind of game.
Scarlet: No but that was our normal team. An all girl vs another all girl has different dynamics.
Ryan: You mean create one of those infamous Women's World Cup teams for this game.
Scarlet: Yes, if a woman plays against a man - he'll give her a bit of slack but a woman vs woman means it's war.

Ryan: I agree.
Scarlet: Now, any changes you want to make?
Ryan: My wife doesn't like being on the outside. And Ferris is not the best central defender. I think this ...


Ferris Federline Bovine

Bingle Kool Dallas Seabourne Sloan

Clarke Kinsata

Scarlet: I think put the veteran girls on the wing. Young Bingle and Seabourne don't do so well there. I'd put Marie on the wing but she's hell more effective centrally.


Ferris Federline Bovine

Kool Bingle Dallas Seabourne Sloan

Clarke Kinsata

Ryan: I think Clarke isn't very effective on the right. Kinsata seems more favour the left side more.
Scarlet: You think we should play Hammer or Kaz.
Ryan: I think Kaz is close to retirement and she's not as good as she used to be. I'd pick Jaime for this game.
Scarlet: So like this then?


Ferris Federline Bovine

Kool Bingle Dallas Seabourne Sloan

Kinsata Clarke

Ryan: OK, I know young Sallad isn't smart but Bovine hasn't been performing as we though she should.
Scarlet: Yes, the defense has been really held together by Ferris. She isn't getting the help she needs of late.
Ryan: We push Sallad into the game if Bovine isn't doing her job.
Scarlet: Ok to that. My plan is to introduce the guys in the 2nd half. I want to tire out the opposition girls and get the manly firepower to deliver the knockout.

Ryan: So what do the girls do in the first half.
Scarlet: We try to batter them and they'll respond. I hope they get worn out and fresh guys can win the game for us.
Ryan: It's quite different to what we normally do. We tend to push the girls in late to have fresh leg speed.
Scarlet: Yeah, but the guys will be physically bigger and stronger. We are playing a team of women.

Ryan: I hope this works.
scarlet: We don't have a choice. We must win this game.
Marie: Hey ... it's late. The day is finished everyone.
Ryan: We're working on our plans to beat the girls.

Marie: Interesting team ... all girls. Dan Ducky love that.
Ryan: He's not going on first anyway.
Scarlet: We are having an all girl war here. It's our girls vs their girls.
Marie: I'm not going let a team of girls get the better of us.

Ryan: Have we ever fielded an all female world cup team?
Marie: Once, for a friendly. Against Secristan but that was done for a different reason.
Scarlet: Well, I hope the girls deliver.
Marie: Where's Rocky?

Ryan: He's a single father still. I don't he'll remarry. He's got kids to take of.
Marie: We should get some nannies for him. But hang on, he's got one daughter - and that's Sadie Dallas. She's grown up now.
Ryan: Sorry, grandkids. Sadie's kids that is - even though she isn't married still.
Scarlet: This is our formation, any suggestions Marie?

Marie: Why Bovine instead of Sallad? I know Sallad is bit of numbskull but on the field she's far more aggressive than Bovine.
Ryan: So you think we need more aggression in defense there?
Scarlet: Like really hitting their strikers hard so they get discouraged and go all conservative and take the slow options.
Marie; Yeah, we counter attack when they make a mistake.

Ryan: But that might backfire when someone get sent off.
Marie: It's all or nothing now. We must have all guns blazing.
Scarlet: Doesn't that slow our game down if they slow down.
Ryan: Oh, you want to start flooding them.

Marie: We have 5 girl midfield and two strikers. We have 3 defenders still.
Scarlet: Maybe, where'd you get the idea from?
Marie: Mum ...
Scarlet: Maybe, let us think about that.

Ryan: In the end, it's Marie who has to deliver victory still.
Marie: I don't back away from a fight. I jump in and give enemy what they give us.
Scarlet: You know we're going be ranked below Jeru FC now.
Marie: We are going win the Cup of Harmony. Nothing and no one is getting in the way including Milchama.
18-05-2009, 01:28
Paul Hart was in his office. He had his calculator out.

"So, we have to travel thousands of miles around the world to Dancougar, play the best team in the group in front of their own fans, at football no less, and come out of the match having won by..." he entered a few numbers into the calculator, "Fifty goals to nil. No, wait, that can't be right..." He went back to his equation, picked up the 1 that he'd forgot and dropped it into the next column. "We have to win by five clear goals to go through on goal difference, or four clear goals if we pull into a" - he dabbled at his calculator again - "lead of nine goals to five. Oh no wait, eight-four would do, that'd send us through on head-to-head."
Paul sighed the sigh of a man who'd done ten minutes of calculations in order to tell himself what he already knew.
"We're boned.."

He heard an odd, metallic sounding roaring noise. He looked up at his computer screen. Blurry blue and red dots were bouncing up and down on a green background. Either he was playing Super-Mario Brothers or something had happened in a football match. He peered in closer and saw the score graphic in the top corner tick over to '1-1'. Liventia had grabbed themselves the unlikeliest of equalisers against Bears Armed, and there wasn't long left on the clock. Wow. Yes. Yes. If Liventia could hang on, that'd mean that Bears Armed would be dropping points. It'd put them just three ahead of Silexhera with just one game to play. If Silexhera could pull off a win, any win, over Dancougar and Bears Armed lost their final game then that would be it, Silexhera would be going to the World Cup Finals! Paul was excited. Shit. Who where they playing? Who're they playing?! Who is this team that might just be able to give Silexhera a life-line by beating the former group leaders! He frantically searched through all the paperwork on his desk to find group fourteen's fixture list. They were playing against... against... against.... home against Stargate Centurion.

Paul sighed the sigh of a man who'd had one minute of sublime hope before being told what he already knew.
"We're boned.."

He pulled up an international football magazine web-page and looked for an article on yesterday's Silexhera game.

Landau Ballet
Silexhera are Gold (gold...) in narrow victory

Kelly Sporadic grabbed his fourth goal of the campaign with a delightful first-half lob which proved the only way to separate these two teams. Landau Institute had taken a long time to get themselves into the game, looking every inch a side that had just been walloped 7-2 as they had against Dancougar. No sooner had they started to get a hold of the midfield battle however that they were undone by a lovely counter-attack goal. Kelly Sporadic had got ahead of his marker and latched onto a searching pass from midfield. Controlling the ball with his first touch he turned his body and, with a sweeping motion on his left leg, scooped the ball up in the air and over a badly positioned Landrau Institute goalkeeper.
It would prove to be the key moment in the game, instigating wave after wave of second-half pressure which Silexhera held out against, their defensive line proving themselves again to be one of the most adept in the world at keeping hold of a slender lead.
The final whistle kept Silexhera still technically in the hunt for a World Cup spot, but with Dancougar squeezing themselves past bottom side Stargate Centurion and Bears Armed expected to get themselves at least the two points they need over their next two games to guarantee their progress, it appears it'll be the Cup of Harmony for the gallant minnows.
Landrau Institute could well be in for a CoH berth themselves despite a largely unimpressive showing in the qualifiers. Embarrassing home defeats to Silexhera and Bears Armed coupled with the heavy beating by Dancougar will most likely have repercussions for under performing members of their team and backroom staff, which in their country is a very ominous thing indeed.

Final Score
Silexhera 1 (Sporadic 31)
Landau Institute 0
Elves Security Forces
18-05-2009, 02:33
The dawn had came on this day in the most splendid of sunrises, as the horizon turned pink, then peach, before becoming lit orange as the sun crept into the sky. A beautiful start to what could prove to be a very fateful day for the Vanorian people. Tobias Raynor sat on the steps of his mansion, hands in the pockets of his navy pants, watching the dawn come. His eyes shone of a man with a purpose, waiting for that moment to begin the first steps towards that goal. That same shine came through as a stern, but comfortable look in his face, as he stood up and clasped his hands together.

"So it begins." he whispered to the winds as he began walking towards the exit from his family grounds. He moved quickly and smoothly, taking every step in stride, reminding himself of the reasoning for this day. For too long had the people of Valanora been reliant upon the Great Leaders and patrician families to lead them on in the times of turmoil. He himself had been an instrument in that reliance. They were dependent upon the system to tell them what the world was around them. Somewhere along the way, the benevolent government turned into a entity needed for the basic direction of its constituents. It did not ever intend to make this turn, nor was it designed to do so, but it had occurred nonetheless.

It was much the same way with the way the citizens also were dependent upon the Goddess Elune for the spiritual guidance. Any deviation would be seen as a betrayal of not only the religion, but the species. While his family had done what they could to allow religious freedom without the fear of persecution while they had grabbed the Great Leader seat, it had not been nearly enough. Perhaps the two went hand in hand? It didn't matter really, as Tobias' mission was now to enlighten those masses that had been under the sway of the government.

He was not speaking of revolution, but of enlightenment. Ironic considering the iconic standing the elves had in the rest of the world, but then perception is ninety percent of reality, or so Tobias had been taught. Right now he was about to set outside the gates that forever had protected him from the world outside of his elite status in society. Depending upon his success in his endeavor, he might not ever be let back inside those gates. The cost was going to be high, but with a single press of a button, and a step outside of the gates, he was now on a path that would either enlighten his people or see him fail for this first time in his life. Either outcome would spell ruin for him, but life for an immortal is relative...
18-05-2009, 02:52
"Well Cirillo in five hours, my venture will be done and a new age will begin in our lovely nation."

Cirillo had a doubtful look on his face as the two sipped tea inside a diner in the dead of night. They had met at an old fashioned diner in the upper east side, as they had done for every Friday night for the past four years. They would share tea and a piece of pie or cake while they talked about various things. One night it could be what they had done the previous week, it could be about upcoming matches on the weekend, politics, etc... Still, the previous year had been odd meetings, since Márkó had begun his work. He had yet to tell his good friend what he had been working on the past year, but by the smile on his face tonight, Cirillo felt like he was about to be informed of that work. Still, Márkó was taking his sweet time in revealing the information and needed some prodding.

"And just what has been this great venture my friend? What has kept you so busy the last year? What has made you make precautions so that even your friends and family have no clue as to what you may be doing with your so called partners."

"It's simple Cirillo. I have been making it so that the nation will have its' place in the world, a better and bigger place than before. I have made it so that our economy will never be susceptible to ruin."

"How Márkó? How can you guarantee that the economy will never collapse? You have not done something illegal have you?"

The glee in his eyes burst as Márkó spilled his design.

"Of course not. I'm an honest man just as yourself, but it is true. Thanks to me, Pasarga's economy will never been on the path to ruins. Thanks to heavy backing from several members of Parliament, I have founded a company that will steer Pasarga forward. All the world will be buying our products, and in turn, with that steady flow of income, Pasarga herself will grow and prosper."

"And just why will the entire world buy the products from your company? What could you possibly be making that the entire world is in need of?"

18-05-2009, 02:57
Woops, Jeru FC post ...

Kaye's Blog

Jeruselem pride at stake for Jeru FC. In Group 7, both Jeruselem and Milchama both lost important games meaning both will end up in the Cup of Harmony which means the poor teams in the CoH will be scared of these teams.

We won against some ursines from The Bear Islands but them Quoddites won too. We are ahead by one win and have a +2 goal difference. In effect, we are the new Jeruselem. I'm not going to gloat we're better than Jeruselem. Far from it. I'm sad, and feel sorry for our other team. I mean, we'd love to have Jeruselem and Jeru FC in the finals but it's not going to happen.

The coach wants us to put in a big game next. All we need is a draw or win. If the Quoddites lose, it doesn't matter what happens to us. We've been doing a lot of training and making we're ready.

Actually, Jeruselem have not won a Cup of Harmony - having made the final once. I know they'd prefer to make the finals of the World Cup but now is a chance to win the Cup of Harmony. Jeruselem have won almost all known cups save for the World Cup and some minor cups which don't count anyway. I know we've won a CoH but Jeruselem get their chance now.

Of course, we don't want to end up in the CoH. It's up to us to fly the Jeruselem flag. We have a friendly against Jeruselem coming up too. We could win it too but we could just get smashed as well.

So does this mean I should abandon my hopes for playing home team? No, I'm a Jeru FC veteran! I think I can make the team. Is Jeru FC the better team? Well, it's like asking if Milchama are worse then us. I mean, there wasn't much margin in the end for both Jeruselem and Milchama. They just didn't play to their potential and the other teams pounced.

I noticed after West Newmanistan won, the ref quickly ran off the field. I think he was afraid one of the Jeruselemites might attack him. Marie didn't look too friendly towards him at all. She looked she wanted to lodge a knife into this privates actually.
18-05-2009, 03:15
(Lord Naplas continues to ask questions about many nations to The Scout)

JUDGE ALRADE - "Now that the soap opera and the football have ended on the TV, we can resume the trial."

TRAVASSOS - "It's midnight right now. I have to take a bus to go home, can't we continue this another day?"

JUDGE ALRADE - "Believe me, the taxi will be much cheaper than what you'd have to spend if we had to schedule another day for the trial."

URUBUPUNGÁ - "Don't worry, I can give you a lift."

CASAVERDE - "What about me? Can you leave me in the Pasquale Avenue?"

URUBUPUNGÁ - "Sorry, I'll go to the South End..."

LORD NAPLAS - "So, can we continue with the trial?"

ORACI MAGALHÃES - "We have to, we are recording everything!"

BUSTOS - "Oh my God, it is Oraci Magalhães, the sensationalist reporter of the celebrities! Everything he'll record here will have its truth completely deformed before appearing on the TV!"

ORACI MAGALHÃES - "Where is the food?"

JUDGE ALRADE - "This isn't a celebrity party, Mr. Magalhães, this is a trial."

ORACI MAGALHÃES - "Wrong place, sorry. I was supposed to be covering Miss Cafundéu's birthday party."

AGENT CAPIAU - "I will show you the way out."

THE SCOUT - "Where is the box, Prosecutor? I know you want me to take another of those balls, so let's go with it."

LORD NAPLAS - "Here it is. Take one."

THE SCOUT - "All right. I got now the ball with the name of... Candelaria And Marquez!"

URUBUPUNGÁ - "Now we won't get home until five o'clock."

BIGODINHO - "This will take long."

JARDINS - "Has anyone got a radio?"

LORD NAPLAS - "I assume you have a lot to talk about Candelaria And Marquez..."

THE SCOUT - "Absolutely. By far the most complete negotiations involving the CCFM are with the CMSC, full of details. Each negotiation involves some three hundred pages of details and documents. Many points are covered, and satisfaction of both sides is almost guaranteed."

LORD NAPLAS - "I think that we'll have to guide our conversation about the deals with Candelaria And Marquez. So, first, tell us about the relations between the federations."

THE SCOUT - "Excellent. And it has been this way since the appearance of Candelaria And Marquez. They won the Baptism of Fire in a World Cup cycle where the World Cup was in Cafundéu, and soon the CCFM went towards to sign some of their best players. And we were well received, they are always open for negotiations. When they created their league, they also started to look for Cafundelense players. So, in the end, negotiations went pretty well."

LORD NAPLAS - "And what is the frequency that the CCFM negotiates with the CMSC?"

THE SCOUT - "I should say every World Cup cycle. When I left the CCFM, Candelaria And Marquez was the nation number one in our shortlist, and now that they have won the competition, they surely have guaranteed this position. After all, the Cafundelense league needs top players, so we are always aiming the top-ranked nations, that's why for many seasons the players of Candelaria And Marquez struggled to find space in our best clubs."

LORD NAPLAS - "And how many players get involved in these negotiations?"

THE SCOUT - "How many? Variable number. It can be just one or two, or a lot of. There are times when we sign with lesser-known players, those who haven't reached the National Team, but seen as promising by me. And the same situation happens with deals involving the transfer of Cafundelense players to the Candelariasian league. This is the league that has the biggest number of Cafundelense National Team players, but they have a big number of other players, from former NT members to talented youth players, or even some players who failed to impress in our league. So, the traffic of players between the two leagues is immense."

LORD NAPLAS - "And the amount of money involved in these negotiations is high?"

THE SCOUT - "It didn't use to be in the beginning, as Candelaria And Marquez didn't have a top positions on the rankings... but it was always higher than the average for their ranking position, due to the fact that their league isn't a small one. Of course, given their recent success in National Team level, this price has risen. Now, on the other side, they've always paid our asked price for our players, which is always high. So, yes, we can say a lot of money gets involved."

IGNÁCIO VELEZ - "Now that I am working inside the CCFM, I see how much money circulates there... it is an impressive amount!"

THE SCOUT - "Ah, Mr. Velez... Lord Naplas, he is the first foreigner to be part of the Cafundéu National Team staff... for you to see the good relations between the two associations."

IGNÁCIO VELEZ - "It is a good job... I am learning a lot."

THE SCOUT - "I guess Velez was one of the first players from Candelaria And Marquez to reach success in Cafundéu... don't know for sure. Of course, after him, there were countless others, as Mengucci, Enrique, Kortsarian and now it seems Adams will be the next... the opposite happened too, as William, for example, is doing a fine job. It seems that Castelão, who didn't get many chances here and was considered an inferior player here, got success there... Dionísio was another with the same situation, although in his case he didn't get chances because he was still young."

IGNÁCIO VELEZ - "I only did my job to help my team."

LORD NAPLAS - "So the CCFM keeps negotiating with the CMSC often, and this happened again during the last transfer window."

THE SCOUT - "You can be sure of that, the link never ceased. Of course Cafundéu attempted to sign more Candelariasian players and, as they are always ready to negotiated, could bring some to our league... and the same happened the other way."

LORD NAPLAS - "Yes, I know about this... and can guarantee that these deals also aren't so natural as you might suspect... I have evidence eleven that shows that, once again, Carlos Alberto Urubupungá claimed to have spent more money than what he actually did when signing these players... and no one knows now where the difference is... of course the investigation will show us that this money is now in the bank accounts of the five defendants."

BIGODINHO - "Nothing in mine, you can check!"

JARDINS - "In mine too, I am just a player agent, how many times I will have to say that!"

LORD NAPLAS - "You won't escape, it's useless to argue. Please give us details about evidence eleven, Your Honor."

JUDGE ALRADE - "Evidence eleven, Mr. X?"

MR. X - "No doubt it is a true document. The real price of the deal wasn't disclosed, so the negotiation was an illegal one. The evidence is accepted."

LORD NAPLAS - "Now to another, Mr. Scout."

THE SCOUT - "Another ball? Okay, let me see... Sarzonia."

LORD NAPLAS - "Ah, Sarzonia... I assume Franz Braddock recommended many players to the CCFM, didn't he?"


LORD NAPLAS - "What? I mean, didn't he?"


LORD NAPLAS - "But I thought..."

FRANZ BRADDOCK - "I didn't recommend any players to the CCFM, Lord. I don't like to get involved in those things, unless I am the coach of a domestic team. If the CCFM wants Sarzonian players for their league, they have to send a scout and send offers... I won't help them, I win nothing with this."

THE SCOUT - "Braddock wouldn't contribute, and we knew that."

FRANZ BRADDOCK - "I care more about helping the team I am coaching to reach success, and I won't spend my precious time helping the CCFM to strengthen the Cafundelense league! By the way, what am I doing here? I must be helping Sarzonia to qualify to the World Cup! Excuse me..."

LORD NAPLAS - "Okay, so Braddock doesn't help the CCFM in its business with Sarzonia, but Cafundéu does negotiate with them!"

THE SCOUT - "Of course, we are always attempting to sign players from nations that are having good performances."

LORD NAPLAS - "And did the CCFM make many deals with Sarzonia?"

THE SCOUT - "Four players in just a single negotiation, nothing more. I was still in the CCFM at that time."

LORD NAPLAS - "Nothing in the last transfer window?"

THE SCOUT - "Nothing. We applied to them our classical "one World Cup yes, one not" policy, as we often do with nations that have just appeared in the World Cup. This way, we don't annoy them with frequent negotiations, and we don't sign their entire National Team too. And four players was already a vaste deal, so it was necessary to slow down and have a break of one World Cup between negotiations to create a good link between the two associations. I am sure they have a good position in this World Cup qualifiers' shortlist of nations, although Bigodinho has this one, not me."

BIGODINHO - "And you are right."

LORD NAPLAS - "So the deal was one transfer window before the controversial one... and you didn't send offers in the last exactly because you had had in that one?"

THE SCOUT - "That's it."

LORD NAPLAS - "So the negotiations with Sarzonia isn't of the concern of this court, unfortunately. Take another ball."

THE SCOUT - "Okay! Now I have... Newmanistan."

LORD NAPLAS - "Ah, Newmanistan! I guess that, among the nations that have entered in the World Cup scene more recently, Newmanistan is the one with the biggest number of deals with Cafundéu!"

THE SCOUT - "Well, it depends on the criteria to qualify a nation as recent... but you are right in a certain way. The CCFM has negotiated a lot with them."

LORD NAPLAS - "Tell us more about these negotiations. I assume Nelson Yaschter doesn't give recommendations to the CCFM too?"

THE SCOUT - "Not sure. When I was at the CCFM, we didn't contact him. But he is the kind of person that would help us, I am almost sure of this!"

LORD NAPLAS - "Interesting to know. Now to the details."

THE SCOUT - "Details... well, when Newmanistan appeared in the qualifiers, appeared with some popularity... the talk surrounding them made me remind of Cafundéu in our beginning... not exactly the same thing, of course, but similar. Unfortunately for them success didn't come yet, although three Cups of Harmony is success in a certain way, to be fair. Well, talking about the deals now... they had created a league too, so the deals happen on both ways too, although much more often from Newmanistan to Cafundéu, as it happens with all countries, with no exception."

LORD NAPLAS - "Many players?"

THE SCOUT - "The amount doesn't come close of the players from the top three of our shortlist, as commented before. But a nice amount, a typical average one. We can compare this amount with the amount of players from Vephrall, Secristan, Daehanjeiguk... wait, no, less than Daehanjeiguk... but I'm sure The Han Empire is still inside the box, so we'll comment about this later."

LORD NAPLAS - "Yes, we still have Daehanjeiguk, Valanora and Ad'ihan inside the box..."

THE SCOUT - "With Newmanistan, we follow the "one World Cup yes, one not" policy too, so the negotiations aren't so frequent. Last transfer window, we only sold a player to them."

LORD NAPLAS - "Sold? So I guess we won't be able to link Urubupungá's illegal actions with Newmanistan..."

THE SCOUT - "Probably not."

LORD NAPLAS - "Okay. Anyone want some coffee? Later we can get to the last three nations of the post, and then finally reach another stage of this trial."


ALICE I - "I desperately need some coffee, father. Can you ask Lord Naplas to get a cup for me?"

PRINCE HECTOR - "I'll ask someone."

BARON BOSHCKE - "Wait... do you think it is fine for her to drink coffee?"


BARON BOSHCKE - "The Empress is pretty unstable later... she can get a bit... well, hyperactive, and who knows what she can do?"

PRINCE HECTOR - "Now you are exaggerating, Baron."

ALICE I - "What did he say?"

BARON BOSHCKE - "Oh, no..."

ALICE I - "Hahahahahaha... so you thought I wouldn't hear? I hear everything, I am alert to your comments... I thought I asked you to shut up..."


ALICE I - "Got the message, didn't you? That's good. Now go get some coffee... wait, I can't trust useless nobles for this, I will get my own cup."


PRINCE HECTOR - "Oh, look at who is coming..."

QUEEN MOTHER ANNE - "Where is Alice? I am worried with her, the papers have so horrible news about her..."

PRINCE HECTOR - "She left for a while. But don't worry, she is fine."

QUEEN MOTHER ANNE - "I heard she is going mad."

PRINCE HECTOR - "We can't say this for sure."

QUEEN MOTHER ANNE - "So this can be true."

PRINCE HECTOR - "I am afraid this can be true, yes, my dear."

QUEEN MOTHER ANNE - "Oh, Hector! What will we do now?"

PRINCE HECTOR - "We can't really do anything... she is the Empress. If she really gets unable to rule the country, she'll be forced to resign, and then we'll have to find a tutor for the young Raúl Conte until he has the age to be the Emperor."

QUEEN MOTHER ANNE - "A regency? But who would be his tutor?"

PRINCE HECTOR - "Miguel or Rogério."

PRINCE ROGÉRIO - "Me! I am older than Miguel!"

PRINCE MIGUEL - "But we are twins!"

QUEEN MOTHER ANNE - "Maybe we'll have to decide this through a game of chess..."
Landau Institute
18-05-2009, 04:16
oh no, not again...
Landau Institute
18-05-2009, 04:17
Diseases that have reached the Landau Institute and how to get cured from them
An original series by the Lowrni Island's nicest country (and the only one

To end our series about the World's Most Threatening Diseases, we bring you a three-in-one report, commenting about three other diseases that, although not as dangerous as the ones previously commented here, affect a big number of people and produce intense effects on them. And, once again, we travel all around the world to find them. The first of all is the Surrenderitis, which first appeared in Septentrionia in the middle of a war. It is believed that, inside a camp, some dirt containing a bacteria invaded a cheese which was soaked with perfume, after an accident in which a soldier let the perfume bottle fall open on the dinner table. Inside the cheese, the bacteria suffered a mutation, transforming in the Surrenderitis bacteria. Soldiers got infected, and just five minutes after that the war was over with the surrender of all of them. Later, their opponents got infected too and surrendered even after their enemies had already surrendered, and they started to dispute who really surrendered first. Associated with this condition is the Bostopian Ghost Trauma, which is believed to be caused by the same bacteria with another sort of mutation, which happened after it got contact with a videotape of Priest Quevedo's program and a white blanket while listening to a Kate Perry song. People affected with this version of the bacteria start to see ghosts everywhere, developing an uncontrolable fear of them.

Another disease we'll cover in this report is a popular condition among Cafundelense football commentators: the Commentator Delusion. Although many people in the country have this condition, only one has developed all of its symptoms. It first starts with an infection, which has some mental effects: the person starts to believe he/she knows everything about a determined sport, making comments about it everytime - some correct, some ridiculous. Later, when looking at the people watching a sports event, the person will believe that everyone is his/her friend, even if this person has never seen the commentator before. The last stage is an infection of the throat, which makes the people speak to many "Rs" at once. The only one who has reached this stage so far is Breno Gavião. To finish this report, we'll talk about a specific psychologic condition that affects people from all around the world. It is subject of discussions and controversies, with many people commenting that this isn't a condition, just simple belief. It is the "Random Deity Complex". According to people affected by it, the whole NS-World, especially when the issue is about sports competitions, is commanded by mysterious deities, with different names. Some famous ones are: Margaret, the Random Numbers, the Honorary RP-Bonus, Mr. Spreadsheet and Lord KPB. When believing in one of these beings, people will make rituals to praise these deities and win games.
18-05-2009, 05:10

Sorthern Northland 0–1 Australiazia

What? Sorthern Northland ranked seven in the World, Australiazia unranked. SN won 4-2 on the road. SN beat every other team at home, including us (convincingly). We disposed of Australiazia with a 10-2 aggregate score. Then this. We were watching the game after our tough draw with Golgothastan and we were in shock. We've got SN at home at our favourite stadium and we've got a real shot at beating them. It would do our confidence the world of good if we could head in to the finals with just one loss.

Let me tell you, there is a real sense of excitement among the boys, especially those who got through to the second round with me in the 44th WC. There's a feeling we could do it again, but it is going to be very tough and it's all about channelling the excitement and nerves in the right way. Personally, I've been scoring a few goals which has been really good. But it's been a tougher second leg of the qualifying process, with a few draws, but we expected it to be harder. We've kept up our perfect record at home, currently at four wins and five if you include the friendly. We didn't mind too much about the away draws and were actually quite stoked just to take a point away.

Now we're heading in to this last game just one point behind SN with the huge chance to top the group. It doesn't really mean much, but it would be a great boost. I urge everyone who is able to, to get down to the game and support us. We're going to go all out for this one and leave nothing on the field. The National Sports Arena is like my second home and I love playing there, especially infront of a packed crowd. If you can't get to the game, 'cause I know tickets are at a premium, then get down to the Olympian Botanical Gardens. The council and government are setting up a massive outdoor screen on the 'grasses' field and apparently there is space for 10,000 people, so get along to that. If that's still not an option, then get to the local! Always a great place to watch footy.

Anyway, we've had a hectic start to the WC and I'm sorry this is my first post, I'm going to try to do much more now. Oh, and especially after David died. I was actually reading his blog and was finding it very interesting. It's a shame they injected paint in to him, he was a true unknown hero of Peisandros sport.

Well, better head off. Training time. Don't forget to get to the game!


PQ Friendly:
@ Bears Armed 0-1.
Qualifying round one:
MD1: v Australiazia (Peisandros Basin, Delphi.) 5-0.
MD2: v Somewhereistonia (National Sports Arena, Olympia.) 3-1.
MD3: @ Edward City 2-0.
MD4: v Golgothastan (People of Ephesum Stadium, Ephesum.) 4-2.
MD5: @ Sorthern Northland 2-4.
MQ Friendly:
v Quintessence of Dust (Peisandros Basin, Delphi.) 2-0.
Qualifying round two:
MD6: @ Australiazia 5-2.
MD7: @ Somewhereistonia 1-1.
MD8: v Edward City (ATI Stadium, Thasos.) 1-0.
MD9: @ Golgothastan 1-1.
MD10: v Sorthern Northland (National Sports Arena, Olympia.)
PQ Friendly:
@ Jeru FC.
18-05-2009, 05:17
Fromburg Free Press
World Cup 46 Coverage

A 1-0 loss to Starblaydia allowed them to clinch, but a 4-1 win over Dariusville puts the Pheonix back into the World Cup.

THE Fromburg Free Press PRESENTS
The 5th Biggest Moment/Event
in Black Oxen/Pheonix Footballing History
Date: April 1st, 1890
Location: Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City
Other Nation involved: Bostopia.
Result: 1-3 LOSS.

Reprint of event from National Archives:


Ben Rottenburger: Truly the saddest day in Qazoxian Football history as Unranked Bostopia pulls off one of the bigger upsets beat The Black Oxen 3-1. Coupled with Cataduanes 2-0 win over Green WOmbat, The Black Oxen once again fall points short of qualifing for the Cup. After the match, Head Coach Jason Bourne was fired and 5 players from the team will retire from international play...after the Cup of Harmony takes place. (OOC: I'm un-boycotting the COH ). Helena Sexton and Harden Homer stalwarts of the defense will call it quits now. While Maria Gretzky, John Frorr and Jamie Bookman will quit after the CoH. Bookman is retiring due to a chronically ailing knee that has not responded well to surgeries and Gretzky and Frorr are retiring to start a family as they announced just before that match that they will be married. Helena Sexton is going to be the Head Coach of Bruxen in the W-League while Harden Homer is taking the head coaching job of his home town Bruxen City in the QFL.

Replacements for these players have not yet been made, but it expected that some members of the Lady Oxen National team will make the team.

Ed note: Later it was found out that the match was fixed by some members of the Qazoxian national team, as was some games of the QFL, the former being revealed durign the trial of the fixing players. No names were ever offically released, but most suspect the goaltender, John Frorr of throwing the game, as he was a notorious gambler.

THE Fromburg Free Press PRESENTS
The 5th Best Player
in Black Oxen/Pheonix Footballing History

Player: Sherlene Scheppe
Played in: World Cups 39-40.
Caps: 32
Record: 16-5-11 (with 9 shutouts)
Best Moment: 0-0 draw at Starblaydia, 3rd of 5 consecutive shut-outs.

Ms. Scheppe is a leading member of the Qazioxian for Better HealthCare movement, a result of her losing her left leg during a skiing accident.
West Newmanistan
18-05-2009, 05:39
The spoiler lives! With all the question marks concerning the future of West Newmanistan football, the Patriots were hoping to make an impact in their final two games of group action. They weren’t going to qualify, and Group 7 has been quite a competitive group. With two games to go, the Patriots were scheduled against Jeruselem and Milchama. Having the Princesses in Morton City stood as potentially the last home game in West Newmanistan unless the team decides to return to World Cup 47, which President Nicholls declared a “50-50 proposition”. The stadium was rocking, many with signs in support of the team and hoping that there would be more World Cup action on the horizon for the team.

The team was very inspired and the defensive effort was outstanding. Jeruselem did seem a little agitated with the officiating in the game, and the disallowed goal in the 19th minute that would have been scored by Max Schwick got them upset. However, Schwick was offsides, as much as he tries to deny it. And deny it he certainly did, shouting at the referee long enough to have him display a yellow card. They also seemed to want a foul called in the 36th minute on Kevin Moran when he took down Helen Clarke very hard, however the Urna Electronican referee signaled play on. In the 68th minute, when Corey Aguirre scored the eventual game winner, they were upset that a foul was not called away from the play on Michael Haller, but the referee again said, “play on!”

The Aguirre goal excited the crowd, and when the Patriots finished off the victory, a result that may be the biggest in West Newmanistan history, you have to think that their chances of returning to World Cup action in four years may have just increased a notch. And for Cassadaigua, and Gordon Bay City, you’re welcome.
18-05-2009, 05:51
Griffinville Gazette

Once again the presses were stopped, this time by a dang squirrel.

The Canines lost at home to Arroza 3-2, after a Rebecca (Revy) Viades 89th minute goal gave the Tar Hornets the lead, just moments after Spot tied the match at 2-2. Despite that loss, Prux remained in control of their destiny, remining 2 points ahead of Arroza and 1 point behind Kura-Pelland.

Last night's 2-0 win over Wessia has put Prux into a rather delicate situation against Kura-Pelland. A win by Kura-Pelland or a draw with them, coupled with an Arroza win would knock the Canines out, while an Arroza loss or draw would clinch a World Cup berth for Prux, regardless of the result against Kura-Pelland.

The simplest solution? Beat Kura-Pelland.
18-05-2009, 06:54
Sarah and Shaina sat in their living room and watched the Jeremy McAllister statement. They knew that the station in which they worked for would not be happy with the contradiction, but they would likely write it off as his word against theirs. So far, the Crypstahs had not been able to locate where Shaina was, likely because they didn’t think she would be out in the suburbs like this. Shaina hadn’t told her boyfriend that it was over, but getting robbed was the final straw.

“Did I make a mistake?” she asked Sarah “Do you think Jeremy might really be innocent and telling the truth?”

Sarah nodded, “You didn’t make a mistake. You did what was right, but I really am starting to believe that Jeremy never took the stuff. Maybe he was telling the truth that he was given it, thought about it, but never took it. I feel sorry for his wife too.”

“Yeah, and for his son to be taunted like that. It was so unfair.”

“I don’t know if it’s been a lift to the team, but they looked good against the McLaughlin Islands. On offense anyway.”

“I just feel responsible for ruining his life. If I never brought that thing to your station then none of this happens with him.”

“We needed to know about SAPCO. Whether Jeremy took the HGH is one thing, but it is indisputable that SAPCO was distributing illegal steroids, and that the Doctor needed to be caught and arrested. He no longer can practice medicine, and SAPCO has been shutdown.”

“Yeah. I never thought that rich people and doctors would be drug dealers too, I thought it was just the people my ex-boyfriend hung out with.”

“You’d be surprised what really goes in this messed up world. I hated the way Scott acted in the office when Doctor Holmes was there, I never saw him act like that and he disgusted me. I promised him I wouldn’t tell anyone but I can’t stay quiet.”

“What did he do?”

“Doctor Holmes originally answers the question of when Jeremy started contacting him as being exactly what Jeremy said, that it happened in the Di Brandi-thing or whatever that guy’s name who curses us. Scott yells for them to stop shooting and bribes the doctor into saying what he wanted. He’s never done that before. He lied to the doctor saying he would talk to the police chief here to get him off the hook, but after the doctor left, he and his staff members all laughed it off like a joke. He threatened the cameramen with their jobs if they said something. He’s never done that. Scott’s always been such a nice guy, but this thing has just brought out a side in him that I can’t stand. I want to quit but I can’t, I need the money, and of course the book deal is off now.”

“It doesn’t have to be, Sarah. Maybe we can just write another story.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well everyone believes Scott and no one believes Jeremy. So like in your book write about how the public perception in these things always assumes the worse and thinks that the athlete is wrong. In this case, it can be how Jeremy was telling the truth all along and was honest. And you can maybe say about how the story completely changed Scott’s personality.”

“It’s a good idea, but who’s gonna buy a book like that. People want to read books that have juicy gossip, not that criticizes the way they think.”

“I think you’d be surprised. I grew up in a culture, Sarah, where no one takes you seriously. They judge you by the color of your skin and come to unfair conclusions about you without listening to what you really have to say. I may only be a housekeeper, but damnit I show up to work every day and bust my ass to make the rooms sparkling clean for the business cronies who come in and rent these rooms and expect perfection. I wanted a better life, but once I got with Jamal, I couldn’t get away with it. I was in with the gang by association, and if I tried to leave, well, you saw what happened to me. Jeremy McAllister lives a whole different life. He’s rich, he’s famous, but deep down I can understand what he’s going through. Everyone thinks he’s lying now when he’s telling the truth. I think he has an interesting story to tell people, Sarah, and I think you should write it.”

“I’m sorry about that, I never really realized what it’s like.”

“No one does. You live in that area, you’re associated with the lifestyle no matter what. It’s ok. You’ve listened to me more then almost any well, upper class type person ever has.”

“I’d hardly call myself upper class, but thank you. You’re a good friend, and I guess I will write the story. I can’t quit my job though.”

“You don’t have to. You can still get good information out of them. Talk to Scott about it, flirt with him a little bit while you are wired and get him to say what he did. Beat him at his own game.”

“That would be sweet.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(Following the win over McLaughlin Islands)

Hargrove: I apologize for my performance today, I really let all of you down. I almost blew it for us.

Junior: Jason, you’re the last person that needs to be apologizing. If it wasn’t for you, we’re not in this situation. You carried us in all of these games so far. Today, we picked you up.

Hargrove: I know, it’s just that I am sorry. Really.

Prescott: Don’t worry. We did make some errors, but today the offense picked up and put five goals in the net. You only allowed four, so you did good enough to win. We need you against Steroga, man. Don’t get down on yourself.

Hargrove: Thanks, Billy.

Prescott: No problem. You’re one of two people I needed to cheer up today.

Junior: Who was the other?

Prescott: Oksana Ferris, of course. I can’t believe Jeruselem is going to the Cup of Harmony. She was pretty disappointed by it but I know they will bounce back.

J Vilardi: Of all teams, look who knocked them out, West Newmanistan!

Prescott: Damn Patriots!

J Vilardi: I’m sure you will be rooting for them to win the Cup of Harmony, since we are finally going to get that last matchday break and make it into the World Cup.

LaFave: How many times has Newmanistan been in this situation on the final matchday?

J Vilardi: It’s our seventh try, so I’d say seven. Well, actually six, World Cup 41 was a disaster.

LaFave: I swear one of these times, we’re going to get the result that we need to get through. There isn’t any better time then right now.

Junior: I agree. It’s time. The McLaughlin Islands will help us, and we will beat Steroga.

Prescott: We need to do this for Nelson, man. Rumors have it that if we lose, he will be canned. We all know that we are the ones who should be blamed, and not him. We have to come through.

LaFave: We will. This situation is so familiar to us, but eventually, it’s going to go in our direction.

Prescott: Jenn, was that your first hat trick at this level.

J Vilardi: Hell yes, thanks for noticing!

Prescott: Great job, they aren’t easy.

J Vilardi: You and Junior did a nice job on your goals as well. Yours was the big one to break the 4-4 tie.

Prescott: It was, but it’s meaningful if not for your scores. Jason, you’re gonna get a clean sheet against Steroga. They don’t score much.

Hargrove: I hope so. I know they are more of a defensive team, but you guys are on good form right now. I like the way this looks.

Junior: It’s gonna be a great day. I can feel it.
18-05-2009, 07:07
Rob News!!
Whooo sesh yoouo canr brang teh boooz to teh horseees?

Game as insane as Landau patients: We needed that. Holy crap, did we need that. It's three of us at the top, neck and neck and almost neck, and if there was gonna be any space between us, it was going to be on tiebreakers. We may have just won that sucker. We scored seven goals tonight. Seven. You realize it took us six games to score that many? Yeah, one game. It was too glorious.

And the best part is that Silexhera finally slipped up, and now they're looking up at the top and realizing, oh crap, Dancougar just put a world of hurt on the group. Four wins in a row. Fourteen goals scored. We've got 'em running scared, now. On this form, we could play Stargate with a bunch of googley-eyed sci-fi fanboys and still get the points.

This scoreline just fills me with joy. Look at this. Minute 2, bing, Rosberg. Minute 11, bing, Montego. Then 13, Schiermeier. It was 4-1 at halftime after Rosberg's second, and just for the hell of it, we nailed three more. Nagasawa, why thank you, he of the elven domain. Florentino, much obliged, el capitan. They even let Hiroshi Kaizuka score. I don't even think he's started since, like, matchday three. You had to wonder just how we managed to get blanked by them the first time we played them, but I guess they remembered that they were a bunch of old guys.

And the home crowd was into it, and why not? They roared at each goal, and you know they were keeping an eye on the Bears Armed game, because when they went up two on the newbies, you could just feel the love burning down from the seats. Or wait, no, maybe that's something I caught from the Landau locker room. Oh friggin'... I gotta finish this later.

Dancougar News!!
Seriously, horse racing? When is this nonsense going to stop?

Wings on cruise control at Centurion: A few months ago, rumor were circulating that Shigeru Takeuchi's replacement had already been picked out and that his job was forfeit after a lackluster start to qualifying. Now, after five straight wins, the Wings are in the driver's seat and seem assured of qualification. Last night's 1-0 result away to Stargate Centurion moved them top after Bears Armed drew 1-1 at Liventia and further stretched their commanding lead in goal differential.

So confident was Takeuchi that he rested several players who'd contributed mightily to the team's recovery and it was Lillian DaCosta, starting in place of Stefan Rosberg, who scored the game's only goal in the 78th minute. As has been the case throughout most of qualifying, Dancougar took the offensive initiative early and rarely ceded control, with a handful of chances forcing goalkeeper Jeremy Cornelia into action.

The Wings hit the post twice in the first half, one to midfielder Josef Rousch and the other to Makoto Katayanagi, but for all their possession in the Stargate third, they only had three shots on goal to show for it, along with two corner kicks. It seemed like the hosts, who were dead last in Group 14, were looking for a duplicate of the 0-0 draw they earned in Yuki City, which has been their best result to date. They packed their defense and ceded few shooting lanes, which somewhat explains the lack of chances produced despite all the Dancougar pressure.

"We've been seeing it in just about every match so far," said Takeuchi. "Teams know that our play on the outside has taken a hit without guys like [Lyle] Dylandy and [former team captain Alexei] Voronzoff, so they're keeping us out of the middle and forcing us to work our way in. You'd think we'd have made some progress, but it seems like we've had some very polar play."

They would not cave until the 78th, after a few innocent passes near the middle of the field were turned very quickly into a lightning strike. Hiroshi Kaizuka launched a long ball over the top of everyone that Katayanagi managed to whip back into the box. DaCosta made a run which the defenders were slow to pick up and she nodded the ball past the goalkeeper for the lead. There were protests that the ball had crossed the end-line before getting saved by Katayanagi's cross, but the linesman had made his decision.

"I don't know if it was over or not, to be perfectly honest," said Katayanagi. "I was just trying to keep it in play and just whiffed at it without paying attention to where I was or where it was going. I saw the replay afterward; [DaCosta] had to be light on her feet to get to that so quickly."

There was no real attacking threat from the hosts after the goal, and the Wings were able to kill off the match to take maximum points. With Silexhera keeping the pace and Bears Armed faltering a bit, all teams will have destinies in hand when they clash on the final day, with no game bigger than Silexhera at Dancougar to determine qualification. Anything less than a win for the visitors will ensure qualification for the day zero group favorites.

Silexhera on the brink as Yuki City awaits: Perhaps no team in this tournament has been more surprising than Silexhera. The tiny nation has arrived on the world footballing scene in a big way, challenging for qualification up until the final day on their first attempt... without even bothering to tackle the Baptism of Fire first. Despite approaching their task with an ultra-conservative approach, the team has shown its ability to score. But they face a Herculean task against Dancougar, where anything less than a win sees them finish a commendable, yet disappointing, third.

Dancougar's five-win stretch, including a 7-2 demolition of the Landau Institute, has given them 20 points and a +12 goal differential after nine matches, which tops Bears Armed at 20/+4 and Silexhera at 17/+4. And with differential being the first tiebreaker, Dancougar's commanding lead makes them the team most capable of surviving a loss on the final day. They will tackle Silexhera, who can overtake either one of the teams ahead of them... if they get the right results.

For anything to happen, they must win at Dancougar. Never say never, of course, but this will be a tall order. They lost 1-0 to the Wings in Silica City, which was the first win in the current Dancougar streak, and since then the Wings have upped their goal tally from four to eighteen. If they beat Dancougar, it would bring them to 20 points. Their goal differential would also strictly increase, and since that's the first tiebreaker, a Bears Armed loss would mean that Dancougar and Silexhera qualify.

Should Bears Armed secure at least a point - which seems likely, as they host Stargate Centurion - then Silexhera must not only defeat Dancougar, but it must be emphatic. No, more emphatic than emphatic. A four-goal win would bring them level on goal differential, but then Dancougar would win on the third tiebreaker, goals scored. So it must be a five-goal win.

The death cry, then, for the newcomers? No, far from it - that they're in a position to qualify at all must be celebrated. Those who cheer Dancougar from bars, sofas, and luxury boxes all have one thing on common - they've forgotten that World Cup qualification is a challenge which Silexhera accepted with the attitude that full effort, and then some, would be the order of the day. Dancougar flopped through the early matches through overconfidence, unpreparedness, or perhaps both.

Silexhera should expect no sympathy from the Yuki City faithful, nor should they expect quarter from what is expected to be an under-strength Black Wings lineup. But there's no reason to believe they're incapable of winning. Who knows? Maybe as they pile up a legendary 5-0 win, they'll show the world what it truly means to play football.

Rob's Rant: I'm running out of excuses to post silly pictures: And the last one wasn't even that silly. This fails.

Kishin create room with four games left: Shuukyuu Kishin's march back to the top of the D-League continued in dramatic fashion, with a 3-2 win against surging Yuki City Athletic maintaining their six-point edge over Port Royal while stretching the gap with Athletic to eight. Karen Stadler had two goals for Kishin, including the match-winner, to up her season tally to 24.

Sporting Lakeport took advantage of Grandborough's 1-0 loss to Super Dimension to jump up back into sixth, as their hunt for a second straight international tournament continues. They benefited from Stefan Rosberg getting the Stargate Centurion match off, as he had a hat trick in a 6-1 road demolition of King's Eleven. Lakeport are now on 52 points and are three out of fifth, currently occupied by Dynamo Kalinsk. But the final stretch could be brutal, with only three points separating them from 11th-place Port Vigilence.
18-05-2009, 07:56
Country stops working: national holidays on February 15th and 16th 2024
Source: Presse Septentrionienne

In an unprecedented move, the parliament of Septentrionia has, yesterday, voted a law decreeting that every service, except emergency services (the famous "984" service) as well as bars and basic banking services (ATMs and internet banking) was to be closed. The reason: the upcoming match between Septentrionia and Bostopia is expected to bring as much unrest in the nation as the previous one. At least, that's what the unkillable Béatrice Mercure, the 86 years old Parti National MNA for Cap-Nord Est said when presenting her private bill to the National Assembly yesterday. As the reputably most conservative member added: "I'm tired of the unrest that is being caused by the youth over a single sport that people don't really care about. If they're going to cause trouble over it, I say ban sports. But as most people don't want that, we might as well tell people not to do anything on those days so that nothing wrong happens."

So the MNA thought about such a bill because of the events last year, now known as the "Quasi-lynching of the Emperor". Those events killed no one, but they showed a strong anti-ethnic sentiment between the native Septentrionians, the Sortherns, the Kelssekians and the Bostopians. When reminded of the incident, Alain Bellemare declares: "We are playing on the field to win, to give the children something to watch, not to see a bunch of hooligans trying to fight the team of hooligans we were playing before." One of the Northmen, Eugène Gagnon, someone used to the heated matchups between Cafundelense clubs, told the press that, basically, people are blowing it out of proportions. "In Cafundeu, things are worse that that little threat and burning of a pub. In that country, people actually threaten each other to death before and after matches. Even worse: they have bets going on between supporters groups that the supporters of the losing team will be forced to watch a game commented by Breno Gavião! Seriously, that's like being forced to live with Emperor Boston. Simply evil!"

In the general populace, people are waiting for those days. Either because they like soccer or because they would rather have holidays than having to work. Of course, some groups are opposed to those holidays. A liberal group, le "Konseil des Arts Républicains Et des Luxuriants Arbres" (KARELA), published a letter hours after the bill was passed to denounce that action by a legislative body. They say it's not the government's job to say what kind of cultural event the people should follow. They claim it's favouritism and that they'll fight against that measure. Sadly for them, the government has already dismissed their request, considering that the population seemed for it.

Finally, a group of Bostopians living in Septentrionia, now going to a Sorthern pub where they were able to persuade the barman to offer Landsberg as part of their beer selection, said that they were happy about the idea of a preventive National Holiday for that event but, as a kind of reminder for the government, told them that the problem lied with the authorities letting the Septentrionian crowd do what they wanted, not with the Bostopians themselves. A group of Sortherns then wanted to speak to the media about something. Finally, they were too drunk for the reporters to understand anything but "Swans", "Threat" and "Septentrionia". How they were able to pronounce the last work, we don't know. But the fact remains: Septentrionia will basically close on February 15th and 16th.
18-05-2009, 08:13
Jeruselem Government News

Pups barking to be new leader

Oksana "Pups" Ferris has publicly announced she'll be going for the leadership of the World Cup 47 team. With the team not making the final in World Cup 46, Pups was clear about her ambitions. She said she wanted to guide the team into the next finals and back into the top 10. While she said the current campaign seemed like a disaster, it could be a new dawn. She wanted the team to make the final of Cup of Harmony and win it.

She put the blame for the current issues as a collective one and not just the captain or the coaching. Oddly, she thought the cause was the lack of Jeruselem team sex scandals. She believed when there were lots of sex scandals going on, the team did well. The current team seem to lack the scandal of past teams with the Sallads retired and only one Dallas in the team. The other Sallad in the team is not a Dallas.

So we are expecting the Cup of Harmony to be a little different. We're expecting a lot more off-field misbehaviour and more drama than the World Cup from our team. And we're sure Pups will be doing something to spice up the Cup of Harmony.
18-05-2009, 11:55
O jornal no lugar certo na hora certa da notícia

Edição Online - Ano 222 - Seção Esportes - Segunda-feira

Adil Motta gave an interview to Folha da Capital

In an interview given yesterday to our newspaper, the president of the AUGECC (Associação Unificada das Gigantescas Empresas e Companhias Cafundelenses - Unified Association of the Gigantic Cafundelense Companies in English), Adil Motta, commented about The Macabees' government's decision to sell their National Team to Daehanjeiguk group Samseong instead of the AUGECC. "First of all, I can't really say that they didn't do a good decision. It all depends on what they wanted... if they wanted to make some fast money, they accepted the highest offer, so got more money... although surely the AUGECC would have money to raise, that wasn't our intent. But, if they are worried about their National Team's future and are expecting to see it developing and winning fame and quality, then the choice could be a better one. As they said after announcing the deal, Samseong will look forward to make a profit by using the team, so even if they'll be investing, they'll have to limit these investments in order to guarantee this profit. And, what I think is even more important, Samseong can't dedicate a good part of the company's time and resources to The Macabees' National Team. After all, they have countless other teams, and have to invest on them too. So, The Macabees won't receive the necessary amount of attention and investments, being just "one more" of Samseong's chain of teams."

After commenting about their opponents which won the dispute for the deal, and ignoring the company from Somewhereistonia which participated too, Adil Motta started to talk about the advantages of the AUGECC: "We are an association composed by the seventy-seven biggest companies of Cafundéu. And by this we include Banco Econômico, Globo Multimedia, Canabrava Cachaça, Velog and Canfudean, for example. Globo Multimedia or Banco Econômico alone have more money than Samseong, we believe, so just imagine the economical power of our whole association... I think it is at least ten times bigger than Samseong's. We are probably the biggest private economic force of the NS-Sporting World! We can say that we offer unlimited investment, a dream for any team! Another thing is that, as we don't have teams all around the world, at least not in the name of the whole AUGECC, we would be able to dedicate ourselves to The Macabees' National Team alone, focusing on their necessities instead of dividing time with other teams. So, I conclude that one of the two happened: or The Macabees' government didn't understand well the differences between the resources available for the AUGECC and the ones of the other companies - in this case their were naive; or they literally sold their team only caring for the instant money. Samseong surely will make the team better than it is now, but the AUGECC had conditions to make a revolution in that place."

To end the discussion, Adil Motta said that he didn't intend to offend Samseong or The Macabees' government with his comments: "I'm just expressing my opinion... and the truth." Also, Adil replied to the questions whether AUGECC would start searching for teams to invest: "We had our interest triggered, but we won't go after teams to invest. If any country or even domestic club sees the AUGECC as a good - and we know we are - solution for investment problems, they can contact us. Basically, the most freedom we receive the better is the offer."
18-05-2009, 12:51
Meghan’s Space

We had a 3-1 lead in the 55th minute when a loud cheer was heard all throughout Concord Heights Stadium as a ball deflected off a Qutar player and gave us a midfield throw in. We didn’t think this play was that exciting. The cheer had nothing to do with the play, but everything to do with the “0” changing to a “1” next to West Newmanistan on the out of town scoreboard. Moments later, another loud cheer was heard. They were final in Gordon Bay City, the unranked Cinderellas had defeated Milchama, 1-0. We try not to look at the other scores too much, but after an Ashley Nolan score in the 74th minute that made it 4-1 in our favor, we couldn’t help but look at the scoreboard and wonder if West Newmanistan could hold to the lead. We surrendered a second goal in the 80th minute, but still seemed in control of the game. And then another loud cheer. The “2” for “second half” changed to an “F”. West Newmanistan had defeated Jeruselem. With just a few minutes remaining, we knew we were about to qualify for World Cup 46. The Islands of Qutar were playing like a defeated team in the last few minutes, so we weren’t too worried about choking up this lead. Then came the final whistle. We had defeated Qutar, 4-2, but more important, we had qualified for the World Cup! Everyone knew it, and we had a prolonged celebration on the field, and who’s to stop us? We were at home, and you our fans were certainly in a party mood. With a game to spare, we know that we will be playing in the World Cup, and will look to have a better performance there this time. Four years ago, we were happy just to be there, but this time we will be looking to pick up points. For Milchama, we hope they can spell “Cup of Harmony,” and for Jeruselem, it looks like we have some new girls on the block. We hope you enjoy your time in either Valanora or Dancougar, we hear those are fabulous places to visit this time of year. Ad’ihan or Kelssek, here we come!

We played well against The Islands of Qutar from the get go, with Ashley Nolan, Erica Daniels, Stacie Kerrigan-Fraser as well as myself all picking up goals in the match. We came out hungry and wanting to put them away early, and I think that we were able to do that. Since our game in Jeruselem has suddenly become meaningless, coach Baynes announced a completely new starting lineup for the game, so that we don’t unnecessarily risk injuries. Brittany Paxson will make her senior team debut in goal. Our starting defense will be Kiersten Reschke, Katie McDermott, Paige MacAdam, and Kamisha Poston. Kamisha will be somewhat out of position since she is a midfielder by trade, but her strong defensive skills should get her through. In the midfield, it will be Jillian Halsey, Caitlin Loiselle, Kelly Silvestri, and Matthew Webb. It will be history as Matthew gets his first official start. Up front, Kristen Spencer and Jessica Schanke will get the starts. It’s very exciting to see all of these people get a chance to play. Personally, I will be on the sideline as a substitute, but I will not be expecting to play. We feel we have earned this. As far as the Jeruselem team we will be playing, I’m sure it’s just as hard on them to know they are not going to the World Cup, but they’ll manage. We wish them the best in the Cup of Harmony. No seriously, we do. Them and Milchama.
Gordon Bay City
18-05-2009, 13:10
Mark shut his mouth. What was the point in a team talk, with that racket going on out there? Richmond Park was shuddering to the sound of one chant… Eight thousand and ninety voices… no… Far, far more than that; some booming like hell’s bittern, others shrill enough to make ears bleed, but united in three terrifying syllables.


“What the hell is out there?” Mark breathed, as the dressing room pulsated.

“M-m-m-m-m-maybe it be best, if-if… if we stay in here,” Furio Pessotto whispered.

“Anyone know where Aino is?” Bm-Chm asked suddenly.

“Why?” Mark replied sharply, glancing at the gnome. “Did he say anything to you about…?”

“No… Only that he was looking for new and better supporters…”

“An’ I reckon he’s found ‘em, mate,” Alan whispered. Even he seemed unnerved by it all. “You want me’n the camel t’go on ahead, gaffer? Have a bit of a reccy…?”

“No. Thanks Alan, but… We’ll all go together, I think…”

He looked around the dressing room. Keith was hopping nervously from foot to foot, wavering on the cusp of invisibility. Kxaŋ͡ǂi had wrapped his hands tightly around his feet and was clicking softly to himself. Walter’s usual rosy complexion had turned pale and his infectious chuckles had dried up utterly, Stellan had stuck his head back underneath the carrier bag and was chewing the handle for comfort, Otters – usually the life and soul of the dressing room, never happier than when filling a team-mate’s boots with custard or switching around the squad’s locker numbers – was uncharacteristically subdued, and even Mu’hurrrghougha looked pensive although, to be entirely fair, he was a camel. He didn’t have a great deal of choice.

“Look lads,” Mark sighed, “I know everything’s just starting to get really real, now. All that stuff I said before about relaxing and enjoying yourselves out there? Forget it. This is the biggest game of your lives. Or deaths, in Brian’s case. Not sure about some of the rest of you… Anyway, point is this – don’t fear it. If we can get even a point out of this game, never mind three, then we really could have one foot in the finals. And then the Qutar game’ll be the biggest of your careers, and if we get a result there then the first match of the World Cup will be your biggest. From here on out, your futures are in your hands. And I really don’t want you to muck this up. Now, you’ve got one hell of a support out there, by the looks of things…”

“That’s, that’s, that’s what w-we’re afraid of, Mr Baker…”

“Furio… Whatever Aino’s dredged up out there, don’t fear the pressure. That crowd’s on our side, they believe in us. This is our last home game of qualifying, right? I don’t know if we’re going to get another one! Use it, feed off it! Not… not literally, some of you… But do this for them, do this for me, do this for Phaseolus, mayherestinpeace, but most importantly, do this for yourselves. The biggest stage awaits, gentlemen! And ladies, and other… assorted… stuff. Whatever your reasons for coming here, lads… You’re going t’be heroes.”

There was a polite pause. Bm-Chm frowned.


“No idea,” Mark said cheerfully, “I’m just stalling for time… Let’s get out there, shall we?”

Steeling themselves one last time, Mark and his fifteen charges left the dressing room, marched up the tunnel, and out into the steaming cauldron that was Richmond Park. The manager’s eyes widened.

“Jaysus Christ…”

The stadium was heaving, roaring with chatter and chants, laughter and screams. Every corner was full to bursting, every seat filled. Even without floodlights, and in the setting sun of a Candelariasian evening, it was alive with colour and movement, every shade known to man catered for amongst the assembled multitude.

And every shape… Every shape… Here and there sat or stood a faerie, or a pocket thereof, and clusters of humans… or what looked very much like humans, at any rate. But moving amongst them, or in proud groups of their own, were pot-bellied gnomes and armoured dwarves, their beards platted in the white and navy blue that had been the colours of Gordon Bay City Football Club and since adopted by those members of the national team capable of wearing a standard kit. Behind them, the stadium shuddered as twenty-feet tall treemen took their places, ten seats to a… man, slamming their moss-covered knees in time with the beat and joining the chorus of Gee! Bee! See!, Gee! Bee! See!

As Mark’s eyes darted around the ground, they alighted on wolves laying calmly at the feet of huge shaggy men, whose green beards grew, burst into golden flowers, and withered to nothing in string of instances. Nearby, a vast party of misshapen little creatures were keeping themselves to themselves, spinning their rattles and singing their lungs out in time to the elegant blonde harpist alongside them. Some seats, Mark realised now, appeared empty after all… But that was clearly not the same thing as being unoccupied, judging by the amount of snack food that was being ripped open and poured into infinity half a metre above almost each and every seat. A neat row of little figures, each barely more than a couple of feet tall and blackened by soot or mud, hobbled past and found themselves a row of their own, while hairy little creatures – Ghislain’s people, Mark suddenly realised – peered out over the newcomers’ pointed skulls.

Golden balls of light flashed past, and as Mark found his eyes being pulled down to ground level he saw hundreds of inch-high men emerging from the daisies and dandelions in the unkempt technical area by the dugout, each dressed in a white and blue beanie hat and not a stitch more. He turned to look at the stands behind him, as a pack of brightly dressed children – each with an older face, like a particularly unnecessary NSPCC advert – pointed at him and collapsed into fits of hopeless giggles. Here and there amongst them, naked fat old men – each easily capable of running Brian close in their impressive facsimile of a gently rotting corpse – glanced from side to side, rubbing their hands gleefully.

Though he squinted, Mark couldn’t make out quite what sat under the stadium’s only covered stand, save that there were hundreds of beings there, with flashes of movement suggesting sizes from a few inches to several metres in various directions. Opposite now, yet another set of grotesque dwarves were leading their tiny, grinning horses to their seats, with one getting into a flaming row with a rubbery man hidden under an enormous, floppy hat. There were camels, and satyrs, and any number of darkly attractive young women with remarkably droopy breasts.

Here, a group of orange men cooled themselves under their vast ears. There, signing beans were practising their less-than extensive repertoire of chants, while thousands of little red-haired men clambered amongst them, helping themselves to an unexpected feast. Here, a human head covered in yellow feathers flapped past. There, a chattering group of…

“Gaffer! Won’t take a minute this, know we should be getting ready, kicking off, but I’ve just got to…”

The genial, horrific face of Alan appeared by his side, and Mark turned out of desperation to avoid staring at the gigantic kitten squeezing itself between a row of sinister teddy bears. “What, what?”

“Just saw you there, saw you here, thought; got to introduce you to the missus!”

A crumpled dark face poked out shyly behind Alan, its long canines glinting as it grinned bashfully at the manager. Mark nodded a greeting weekly. “Charming to meet you, Mrs… Alan. Er, we absolutely have t-to go, go, yes, but I’ll, I’ll certainly, uh –”

“Oh! Forget me own head, an’ all that. Gaffer, you just got t’meet the babs!” Alan exclaimed, taking a bulbous lump in a towel from his wife’s arms and shoving it towards the manager. Mark steadied himself as best he could, and carefully peeled back the material to reveal its face.

A perfectly acceptable and thoroughly pink human baby looked back at him, gurgling merrily. Indeed, its only remotely unusual characteristic was its… was its…

“What… lovely eyes,” Mark offered.

“Soulless pits of eternal torment, ain’t they?” Alan beamed proudly, “Jus’ like his daddy… yes you are, yesyoowar…”


“Yeah, sorry boss. Got a game to win!” He slipped the bundle back into his compatriot’s arms and leant forwards, the tangled prongs of their noses twisting around each other’s affectionately for a moment before relaxing and twanging back to their normal shape. “Right… Let’s hand it t’these Milchamians, shall we?”

“Yes… Just a minute, Alan…”

Mark sprinted forwards, blocking out the crowd around him as much as was possible, and grabbing Aino’s shoulder. The faerie was standing on the edge of the pitch, staring at the thousands of new supporters with a beautific smile on his face.


“Is it not wonderful, Mark Baker?”

“Aino, tell me this isn’t… This isn’t real is? Come one, a joke’s a joke, we’ve all had a laugh, but… What… What?! This is just CGI, right? You gave George Lucas’ people a buzz, and they’ve popped down here, and… Aino, what are you playing at?!”

“I have given us supporters we deserve, Mark Baker! That you deserve!”

“But… Whatever happened to ‘we are FAE, we are SUPERIOR!’ and all that?!”

Aino shrugged. “What of it? I have learned new things in this realm, manager. Strength in diversity!”

“Shut up! Did you think the Queen is going to approve of this?! D’you think Albrecht’s just going to sit and let this happen?! How did they get here, why… What were you thinking?!”

“My sister is not my keeper. The human government of these isles have been content not to challenge us thus far, why should that change now? They came here by air and sea, Mark Baker, because I called them. And, I assure you, I am thinking more clearly than ever!”

“But… but, there are bloody great trees out there! And camels, you’ve brought bloody camels!”

“And they shall, no doubt, be among the most patriotic citizens of my new Gordon Bay City!”

“Citizens!? You’re naturalising these things?!”

“I have decided that our new country shall have a notably open immigration policy. We have offered them a place to live, Mark Baker. We have opened their hearts to them. And it shall be beautiful…”

“By ‘we’, you mean ‘you’, right? Your sister would never agree to this!”

“If that proves to be the case, manager, then she will be challenged. But for now… Relax, my mentor. Calm yourself. We are going to the World Cup!”

“SHUT UP, YOU BLATHERING IDIOT! Mark screamed. “We’re not going to the World Cup, you pillock! We’re playing Milchama, bloody Milchama, do you honestly believe…! Look, all that stuff I’ve said before, all that confident talk about us qualifying first time…! You know it was just talk, don’t you? You didn’t actually believe it, you stupid bloody faerie?!”

“Look at them, manager. Look at the Milchamians.”

“I’m looking at them! They look bloody terrified, and I can’t blame them. And that’s Milchamians, for God’s sake! What’s everybody else going to think?!”


Mark glanced down, as a small, bald child turned its single massive eye on him and put a finger to its lips.

“Bugger off,” Mark told it flatly. It poked a six-inch tongue out at him and skipped off to find its seat. The manager put his head in his hands. “Alright, this is getting silly now… You do what you like, Aino, but I’m having no part in this…”

He turned to march away, and almost walked headlong into his team. Brian, Alan, Jorge, Kxaŋ͡ǂi, Walter, Bm-Chm… They were looking at him, expressions of horror etched upon their faces.

Mark sighed deeply. “Or… to put it another way… It looks like they’re playing a 3-3-4 again, right, so we’re going to need to hit ‘em on the counter. Brian, you and Jorge should be able to challenge Morales on the overlap, Alan…”

He babbled on, his mind oblivious to his own last-minute instructions. Alright, he thought to himself, This is a really… odd situation, and it’s only going to end in tears, and they’ll probably end up being mine… But let’s just get this over with. After all, it’s not like they’re actually going to qualify or anything, is it…?
18-05-2009, 14:24
Akbarabad on the brink of another choke.

(Akbarabad Press, AP): With just one game remaining, it seems that Akbarabad have again squandered another strong position and face a must win last game against Panuul. Even then, a win would not be enough and the team would require results of the other matches to go our way to qualify, a prospect that seems unlikely at this stage. In retrospect, if the team do fail to qualify, the result can be clearly blamed on losing to Kosovoe at home after drawing away and failing to beat Norwellia at home. In fact poor home form may be the ultimate difference maker. At least if the team is forced to compete at the Cup of Harmony again, this time they will be joined by other high profile sides that have been knocked out.
18-05-2009, 15:20
Admirals Do Well in Obscurity

[Article deleted by the Arrozan Federal Government.]

[This article was in Violation of Section II.A) of Legislature Bill 324-5, The Unified Sporting Act of 1011. Under the bill, any company who receives federal tax dollars cannot legally report on the National Teams or Domestic Leagues of a non-authorized sport.]
Bears Armed
18-05-2009, 15:46
A jaunty piece of music, being played on a rather traditionally 'Heartwoods' combination of instruments (i.e. xylophone, panpipes, fiddle, and 'baff'hramm' drum...) finishes, on a crescendo, and the camera pulls back from a copy of the BABC logo to show a larger section of a television studio. Seated on a comfortable settee there are two Ursines, one of whom -- a snappily-dressed male, with light brown fur -- faces the camera and speaks:

"Hrarroom! Welcome to 'Sports Tonight'. I am your host, Urrthro Lightning, and I'll be giving you a round-up of all the best news from this week's sporting activities shortly... but before that, we have a special guest who's come here to be interviewed, and to comment on some of those results." He gestures in the direction of his companion, whom at least some people will recognise...
"Harroya o Redwood, who is the captain not only of First-Division Soccer team 'Merlchester Rovers' but also of our national Soccer team -- who are currently involved, as I really hope you all know, in the series of qualifying matches for the next World Cup -- too."
(There is a brief round of applause from the studio audience...)
"Harroya, with only one match still to play, the Bear-Belles still haven't completely nailed down their possession of a place in the Cup. How do you feel about this?"

"Well, Urrthro," she replies, "I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't just slightly disappointed by the fact. After all, we were in the same basic position at this stage in the qualifiers for each of the previous two World Cups that we've entered, too, and I'd like to think that we've improved a bit since last time around. Of course, though, we're competing in a group of only six teams this time, rather than a group of eight teams as on those other occasions, and that has affected the statistical probabilities..."

"But the Belles will qualify for entry into the Cup, yes?"

"I'd bet serious money on it. We only need to win or draw our remaining match to definitely get through, and even if we were to lose it somehow -- which doesn't seem at all likely, when it's not only against the weakest team by far in our group but a 'home' game into the bargain -- a win or draw for Dancougar over Silexhera in the final qualifying match for those two teams would also leave us in the group's top pair and therefore entitle us to progress onwards..."

"Ah, yes, Silexhera: They've been a bit of a surprise for you, and for everybody else, haven't they?"

"They have indeed, and in some respects they've done even better than we did in our first set of qualifiers: After all, we'd had the preceding 'Baptism of Fire' for "international" experience -- and victory in that to show what we were capable of -- whereas they have come straight to the qualifiers for their debut... and they still stand a chance of qualifying, from being seeded in sixth place out of six nations, while we were only ranked sixth out of eight when we made it. Who knows, if they had entered this series' 'Baptism', would they have won that? I think that they really could have done so..."
18-05-2009, 16:01
Your final matchday scores are now available (
18-05-2009, 17:30
(In-Game Broadcast)

60th minute: “We’ve reached the hour mark now, Rockets holding on to a 1-nil lead. Kumar takes possession of the ball from Jenn Vilardi and clears it. Out in Yafor 2, it’s still scoreless. A strong defensive effort so from the McLaughlin Islands. Can they hold on, John?”

“Yafor 2 laid seven on them last time, Chris, but it’s whole different story right now.”

67th minute: “Good pressure by Steroga here. Pattnaik to Singh to Panigrahi and OHH what a save by Hargrove! How did he get to that!”

“Things are starting to feel, dare I say it, as though they are looking up. Still scoreless in Yafor 2. Big save by Hargrove indeed and the Loudon crowd is pumped.”

74th minute: “Here’s Roberts, over to Prescott, nice play Billy to avoid the defender, gets in to Junior and GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOALLL!!!!!!!!!!! Top shelf where mama hides the cookies and it’s 2-0 Rockets! Great play all around! Listen to that ovation for Junior!”

“Great play by Junior there, gets by Motallebzadeh and Prescott times the pass perfectly. Play is onsides barely, but definitely was still onside, and a big goal by Junior gives the Rockets the two goal lead. I don’t think Steroga can come back now.”

“Haven’t seen enough offense from Steroga tonight to make me think they will make the comeback. Rockets up by two and now, we look closer at the scoreboard. Yafor 2 and The McLaughlin Islands, still scoreless. If that holds up and the Rockets hold on, then the sky blue and white in the World Cup will be of the Newmanistanian and not Krytenian shade.”

85th minute: “Just received word from Yafor 2. They have gone into stoppage time now. Still scoreless. Are the McLaughlin’s gonna give us the help we desparately needed?”

“Keep your fingers crossed, Chris. I’m sure Yafor 2 is going to play desperate in stoppage time.”

88th minute: “The sign says two minutes.”

“It’s over Chris! They’ve done it! Yafor 2 and McLaughlin Islands have ended in a scoreless draw! And listen to this crowd, they’ve just announced that score over the PA. They are going crazy!”

“Well let’s be careful not to choke up this lead in the final minutes, here comes Avinash Singh on a break. And a clear by Loughran! Sweet!”

90th +2 minute: “Prescott takes possession, this should be it! Whistle! Yes!!! Yes!!!”

“The Rockets are going to the World Cup! The Rockets are going to the World Cup!”

“Who woulda thought! Another frantic second half charge, but this time it ends successfully.”

“We were looking at the wrong team all along man. It’s Yafor 2 who we knock out, not The Macabees! Now, the Rockets will join the Macabees and others in the World Cup. The seventh time is the charm. All those close calls, all those other times. This time they’ve done it and the players know it. The celebrations begin!”

“I’m still speechless that we’re witnessing this, man. I mean most of the Empire wrote the Rockets off as dead. We got a lot of help and definitely, if you know anyone with the last name of McLaughlin, buy him or her a drink tonight!”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(Post-game team get-together)

Yaschter: Guys and girls, we all know what this means, congratulations to each and every one of you. We have done something that no other Newmanistanian team has ever done before. It wasn’t easy, our backs were against the wall, and we did get some needed help, but you all never quit. Savor this moment!

Prescott: I wanna say something, coach!

Yaschter: Go ahead, Billy!

Prescott: I want us all to take a look at that man right there (pointing to Jeremy McAllister). He has been a true leader of Newmanistanian football for decades, but because of some bullshit report that accuses him of doing something that we know he didn’t do, it’s been a tough time for him. But now, he gets to experience his dream. Think about what this man has been through. Jeremy, we did it for you man, we believe in you. I know you wanted to do this as a player but I hope this is a close second.

McAllister: Thank you Billy. This isn’t about me, it’s about all of you. You earned it. It’s special for me to be a part of, but you guys are the ones who made it happen.

Yaschter: Congratulations again! Enjoy this moment, it is quite an honor!
18-05-2009, 18:47
Eighty-three year old Franz Braddock was brought in as the new manager of the Sarzonian national football team because he'd taken the Cadundelense national side to the World Cup finals a number of times. He was brought in because his attack-minded offence meshed well with Sarzonia's ages old "total football on steroids" scheme.

He saw potential in this collection of Stars. He knew the history. Prior to his international debut with Cafundéu, the Stars were one of the world's better football sides. They won one World Cup, lost in extra time in a World Cup finals championship match and advanced to four consecutive semifinals.

He also knew that most teams that return after as lengthy an absence as the Stars did usually spend several Cups struggling to win back their old form and lose many matches en route to their return to the promised land. However, he also knew the intangibles. He knew this Stars team came within one match of qualifying for the World Cup finals in their first return attempt, World Cup XLIV. He knew that unranked side very nearly pulled off THE biggest upset in World Cup qualifying history, playing world No. 1 and megapower Valanora to a 3:3 away draw.

Now, his Stars were on the cusp of advancing to the World Cup finals for the first time since the World Cup XXX edition sleepwalked through qualifying without breaking a sweat. He'd insisted on perfection. He demanded nothing less than excellence.

And for 60 minutes, what he got was far from it. Terra Anatidae were energised by their home crowd and built a 2:0 lead on the Stars that left Braddock exasperated. At halftime, he exhorted his club to play with fire.

"You have 45 minutes and destiny in front of you!" he bellowed. "Don't let it go to waste!"

Finally, Matt Lynch, so often the hero for Sarzonia in its biggest wins in this second go-round, struck back. His 61st minute free kick goal cut the Terra Anatidae lead to 2:1. More importantly, it awakened the Stars from the doldrums of a poorly played first hour. Lynch again found the range in the 68th minute with a one-time bid that equalised things. Reese Nichols gave the Stars the lead for good with a cheeky chip over the goalkeeper before the ball rolled over the 18-yard box toward the net, 2:3 Sarzonia with 78 minutes played.

Then, Zack Wilson cemented his own place in the pantheon of greats and in the legendary Wilson line with a penalty kick after Nichols was brought down from behind just outside the six-yard box. Now with five minutes remaining on the scoreboard clock, the Stars had rallied from a two-goal deficit to lead by two goals.

After three minutes of stoppage time, with Lynch now seeking the hat trick, he heard the whistle. It would keep him from getting that hat trick, but then when he heard that unranked and unheralded Algal States played to a 1:1 draw at home to The Holy Empire, he started the wild celebrations.

The third time was the charm for the Stars. They did not back into the World Cup finals. They won it. And not only did they win a place at the table, they entered as Group 13 champions. Lynch looked back toward the sideline and saw a sight he never thought he'd see. In fact, most people in the world would have likely wagered good money to say they'd never see it. Franz Braddock, all 83-years-young, leapt high in the air with his arms raised in triumph.

The assistant coaches hugged each other. Goalkeeper coach Horace Sandt and Braddock embraced. Somewhere, in one of the skyboxes in the Terra Anatidae national stadium, one Spencer Hicks finally smiled.

The Stars had qualified. In fact, it took them one fewer World Cup qualifying campaign starting from scratch to qualify than it did when they entered World Cup XVI qualifying as Baptism of Fire Cup IV champions.

"I don't know what the future holds," an elated Braddock said at the post-match press conference. "But one thing is certain. We've earned our place in the World Cup."

Coming into World Cup XLVI qualifying as the 34th ranked side in the world with the world's 21st ranked side and the fifth ranked side and defending World Cup finalists in the group, the Stars earned it by playing a little bit better than everyone else in the group.

It took Newmanistan seven tries, but they too finally advanced. The celebrations would be wild that night in Woodstock, in Portland, in Nicksia, and throughout the land. Sarzonia were back in the World Cup. Even if the Finals brought them three lopsided defeats, they'd made it back much faster than anyone could have predicted.

Somewhere, another old man smiled with something approaching sweet vindication. He'd talked a skeptical Incorporated Football Federation Board of Directors into hiring an octogenarian manager because of his past. Even if it was a distant past. But now, IFF chairman and longtime national team manager David Wayne Wilson knew that the shades of that past, and a past he was once part of made the present as perfect as it could be.
18-05-2009, 21:21
Purple knights Lose In Cooldown

Game 10 and it didn't matter at all for the Knights. Last week they assured qualification and this week they were just trying to play spoiler to Nethertopia. They ended up losing 3-2 behind a two goal effort from Brian Ying Uing, but it was not enough for the Nethertopians as the Archregimancy won also and with that they were assured elimination. The Knights due to their one point loss fell to second in the final standings by 1 single point in point differential. Either way they still will look to have an exciting World Cup main campaign.

Qualified List
Top Secret For Adminastrators Eyes Only
Here is a Top Secret List of all Teams that Managed To Qualify to the World Cup in Alphabetical Order
(the) Archregimancy
Bears Armed
Candelaria and Marquez
Capitalist SLANI
gordon Bay City
(the) Holy Empire
Jeru FC
(the) Macabees
Sorthern Northland
19-05-2009, 00:30
Jeruselem Government News

Jeruselem still out of finals, but all girls game thrill crowd

The girls from Cassadaigua may have made their first ever World Cup but they got a surprise when they arrived at Dazza Dallas Stadium today. Cassadaigua are ironically following in the trail of the Jeruselem team with a mainly female team and are probably the closest thing to Jeruselem in the finals now. Or maybe Newmanistan are the closest thing to us.

Jeru FC beat Threetime, and yes the score was THREE NIL like last time. The Quoddites beat the Han but it was too little, too late for them as Jeru FC had won. Jeruselem will have a team in the finals, it's Jeru FC. We have Southern Northland with Jeruselemite coach Merginn Moffat and Newmanistan have some players who play in Jeruselem. Don't forget Ryan's Qazox either.

Jeruselem Coach Scarlet Ferris surprised the Cassadaigua team as an all female Jeruselem ran out to take them on. So on the field, we had 22 females. This didn't include the cheerleaders on the field. It turned out to be one hell of a bitch fight as both sides played hard. The girls weren't holding back with the usual temper tantrums flying around.

Pups Ferris frustrated the Cassadaigua attack with a sterling performance in defense. The Jeruselem "Barbie" team played well, playing like the real World Cup finals team. Lara Bingle scored for Jeruselem after sustained pressure, Naturally, she celebrated by showing off her boobs to the crowd.

In the 2nd half, some of the girl got replaced with the girls. This didn't help the tired Cassadaigua team who could not break down the Jeruselemite defenses. Dan Ducky came out and played well. He seemed a different man from last time they played Cassadaigua, and wasn't fazed by lots of boobs.

Lara Bingle struck again for Jeruselem to seal the game 2-0. Yes, it was too late but maybe ... we are seeing a team for the Cup of Harmony. Coach Scarlet Ferris didn't rule out taking an all girl team to the CoH. Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas announced her retirement after the CoH. She said someone like Pups should be new leader. Pups has put her hand up to lead the Cup of Harmony team.

When asked about the new Dan Ducky, the coach said
"I think Nikki had sex with him in the shower. He quite liked it. Mind you she overdid it a bit but then we do live in Jeruselem. We take our sex seriously here - I mean do it properly. Anyway, we should have done this a long time ago."
19-05-2009, 00:55
(da na na na, da na na na naaaaa...)

17:31 - Evening all, Gary Kaladzic here giving you KBS Online's goal-by-goal coverage of tonight's crucial World Cup Group Thirteen Qualifiers. Krytenia face Logria in Palliston, Sarzonia are away to Terra Anatidae, and the Algal States host the Holy Empire...and any one of these side could mathematically still finish third.

17:55 - Five to kick-off. The Aces fans in the away end at Queensland Road look a little apprehensive...and you can't move for pocket radios down there!

18:00 - We're underway, pretty much simultaneously.

18:08 - GOAL! And would you believe it...the Algal States have scored! 1-0 there...and Sarzonia are now provisionally level on points with them.

TOP THREE: THE 20 (13) - SRZ 20 (8) - KRY 18 (6)

18:19 - GOAL! Terra Anatidae have scored, and the Sarzonian travelling fans are in shock!! Krytenia still third at the moment...but still a lot of football to be played.

TOP THREE: THE 20 (13) - SRZ 19 (7) - KRY 18 (6)

18:22 - PENALTY! Money fells Scotland...and it's a yellow card. Scotland himself places the ball...SAVED, REBOUND, KENNEDY!!!!! ONE-NIL!!!!!

TOP THREE: THE 20 (13) - KRY 20 (7) - SRZ 19 (7)

18:37 - GOAL! Two-nil to T.A., and Sarzonia are getting that sinking feeling...

TOP THREE: THE 20 (13) - KRY 20 (7) - SRZ 19 (6)

18:44 - GOAL! It didn't last for the States, and the Empire pull level just before the half. Makes no difference to the table though.

TOP THREE: THE 21 (14) - KRY 20 (7) - SRZ 19 (6)

18:48 - Half time in all three games...and it looks like just Logria sitting in between Krytenia and the Finals.

19:16 - GOAL! Don't warm up the fat lady just yet...Sarzonia have one back through Lynch.

TOP THREE: THE 21 (14) - KRY 20 (7) - SRZ 19 (7)

19:23 - GOAL! Oh no, oh nonononononoooo...those damn Stars are at it again! 2-2, and they're in the pound seats again!

TOP THREE: THE 21 (14) - SRZ 20 (8) - KRY 20 (7)

19:33 - GOAL! Three-two now...and Sarzonia are top! Krytenia need a glut of goals...and another one for the States.

TOP THREE: SRZ 22 (9) - THE 21 (14) - KRY 20 (7)

19:40 - GOAL! I'm going home for tea and biscuits...and to check who's in the Cup of Harmony. 4-2 Sarzonia.

TOP THREE: SRZ 22 (10) - THE 21 (14) - KRY 20 (7)
19-05-2009, 01:59
The final whistle blew in Yuki City. Paul Hart, Silexhera's manager, got up off his seat and stood straight. He buttoned up his jacket, straightened his tie and looked up at the crowd. Thousands and thousands of home supporters were excitedly chanting, many of them hugging each other and many more bouncing up and down and quite rightly so. Dancougar's route to World Cup 46 was clear, officially now, and the team could prepare to take on the best in the world.

Paul looked to his left. Swarmed by the sea of Dancougar shirts were a group of travelling Silexherans. 2,000 in all, which at the moment represented just under 1/20th of the entire population. They were singing. Over the last ninety minutes they'd seen their side battered around the pitch by one of the best teams in the world, and like their team they had not given in. They'd kept singing, kept chanting, kept shouting and applauding. It would have been the most memorable 0-0 draw they'd ever seen had they not seen an equally unlikely one in their team's first ever international fixture. It made Paul proud that the fans, and the nation, had thrown themselves into the pantomime that surrounds the world's favourite game as well as the game itself.

Paul walked over to his left and saw Dancougar manager Shigeru Takeuchi walking towards him with his right hand outstretched. Paul took it and shook it firmly, exchanging smiles and compliments about the game and wishing each other well with their future endeavors. For Dancougar it would be the World Cup. For Silexhera it may well be the Cup of Harmony, the net that catches the World Cup's victims, tosses them around a few times and drops them back into the world even stronger. Paul kept walking to his left, following his players who were all making their way to the Silexheran end of the ground. He could feel the ground shake as thousands of green shirted Silexherans pumped their feet on the stadium's floor and clapped their hands. They began, again, to sing the national anthem, which by now had stretched to two full verses about football. Applause was ringing out throughout the stadium now, seemingly equally for Dancougar's progress and Silexhera's tenacity. Paul waved to the Silexherans from the touchline and his actions were met with a huge roar. He'd become fairly popular now. He turned and gave the home supporters a nod, his hands held above his head clapping. The applause from the crowd got louder in response. Dancougar's fans were not only fanatical, they were knowledgeable about the world game too, and it filled Paul with pride to know that his team, the same one he'd drilled to death on soggy winter nights to get them this far, were being seen and appreciated the world over. He was taking courses in Rejistanian, Krytenian and other languages in an attempt to keep up with the journos that kept asking for interviews after the game and kept popping up in press conferences.

It wouldn't have mattered even if Silexhera had got themselves a goal. If Kelly Sporadic's long range effort after ten minutes had gone the right side of the post, if Couser Granite's header hadn't have been blocked on the line, if Gopher Sporaskid hadn't fluffed his finish from ten yards out with five minutes remaining. Bears Armed had won their final game by a comfortable 2-0 margin. Silexhera would have still finished third in the group. Winning wasn't the point. Competing was the aim for this World Cup. Paul had gone into the first game with only the expectation that his side wouldn't be humiliated, and by god they hadn't. The records showed it all. Ten games, five wins, three draws, two defeats. Ten goals had rippled opposition nets in ten games, and no team had got the better of Silexhera twice. By contrast, Landau Institute and Stargate Centurion had twice each been disposed of for no goals conceded. Liventia, with a world ranking of forty coming into the tournament, had failed to score in their visit to Silexhera and had been humiliated 3-2 in the return. Only Bears Armed and Dancougar, ranked twenty-six and tenth respectively, had managed to beat the newcomers and then only once each, with just three goals conceded in the four games against the group's qualifiers.

The new 20,000 seater stadium would surely be ready in time for the next tournament's qualifiers, as would a few of the plethora of young boys and girls who had taken up the sport during Silexhera's journey. With any luck some kind of semi-professional league could be set up in the near future. The future certainly looked bright for Silexhera. Paul would count the days until the next tournament.

D0-0 Liventia (h)
W1-0 Stargate Centurion (a)
D1-1 Bears Armed (h)
W1-0 Landau Institute (a)
L0-1 Dancougar (h)
W3-2 Liventia (a)
W3-0 Stargate Centurion (h)
L0-2 Bears Armed (a)
W1-0 Landau Institute (h)
D0-0 Dancougar (a)

Kelly Sporadic (4)
Gopher Sporaskid (3)
Panther Doctor (2)
Couser Granite (1)
19-05-2009, 02:09
(Lord Naplas continues to ask questions about many nations to The Scout)

TRAVASSOS - "Okay... we have stopped this trial too many times. Once for a coffee, then to watch the television... and we still haven't got the opportunity to defend our side in this trial!"

JUDGE ALRADE - "Once again I must remind you that you'll have this opportunity, in time. Now the Prosecutor has the witness, so just hear and wait."

URUBUPUNGÁ - "Not that this opportunity will help us much... we are doomed."

BUSTOS - "Don't say this, I think we have a pretty good chance to prove that these deals were made with the money from my cassinos."

URUBUPUNGÁ - "So do you really have these cassinos?"

BUSTOS - "Yes, I do. Cassinos are legal in Cafundéu."

URUBUPUNGÁ - "Only with government permission! And yours doesn't have, that's why we are saying we are using the deals as money laundering for the cassino earnings!"

BUSTOS - "It's our only chance."

URUBUPUNGÁ - "Okay... but in the end I guess you'll end being accused of two crimes instead of just one."

BUSTOS - "If we get accused of public money theft, our life is already over. We'll go to jail for thirty years!"

JUDGE ALRADE - "Prosecutor, the witness is ready to continue with the trial."

LORD NAPLAS - "We are finally getting to the end of this part, Mr. Scout. So, please, take another ball."

THE SCOUT - "Okay. Now the ball has the name of Valanora on it."

LORD NAPLAS - "Valanora then... talk about the situation of CCFM's negotiations with them."

THE SCOUT - "Well, until the last transfer window things were going fine between the two countries' associations. As Cafundéu is located close to Valanora, the transfer of players between the two countries is extremely active, and the number of people going from one side to another is really high. It reaches the "absurd" mark, it is very high."

LORD NAPLAS - "I see. Well, Cafundéu really has a strong business link with Valanora, so it was clear that this would reach the sporting area too. But how would you describe this traffic of players between the two countries?"

THE SCOUT - "I'd say that, if one of the leagues wants a player, no matter his quality, age or position, it will always find one in the another. So far, Cafundéu has signed countless players from Valanora. Youngsters, average players, experienced players, world class ones, absolute reserves... you can find Vanorians in most teams of the league, and in the most varied positions. If you remember well, for many seasons most of Petardos S/A's main line-up was composed by Vanorians... they still have what... four or five? Anyway, a big number, which shows how important are the Vanorians for our league, as they play such an important part even in our biggest team. This is just an example, Ranca Toco had two talented Vanorians in the bench last season, and other two in the main line-up... we could talk about this for hours."

BIGODINHO - "But please no, I am tired."

CASAVERDE - "Zzzzz."

DAVID ALIGON - "You are perfectly right, Mr. Scout. When I was playing, I ever had to play against a Vanorian on the other side... in First Division games, it was very difficult for the opponent team to not have at least one player from Valanora, playing or on the bench. They are already part of the Cafundelense league, and compose part of its fame."

THE SCOUT - "That's right."

DAVID ALIGON - "I assume our country is the one, outside Cafundéu, with the biggest number of the players in the Cafundelense league?"

THE SCOUT - "Yes, that was said before. But we must add something now: Dancougar, Candelaria And Marquez and Valanora are much in front of the others, but at the same time Valanora is much in the front of the other two in number of players."

DAVID ALIGON - "That's cool to hear."

LORD NAPLAS - "And what about the Cafundelenses in Valanora?"

THE SCOUT - "Same situation, there are many Cafundelenses playing there, with the most varied abilities... some talented youngsters went there even before they had a chance to debut in our league... some players who didn't get space here found space there... some common players decided to risk a career in Valanora... and some of our top players could sign a lucrative contract to play there. A big number in the most different situations. But, as happens with every nation, more players come to Cafundéu than leave."

LORD NAPLAS - "How did these deals start?"

THE SCOUT - "That's a good question. When Cafundéu's league was under development, it signed with players from Ariddia, Bettia, Squornshelous... the first age of Cafundelense football. At that time, Valanora, still under the name of Elves Security Forces, was a rising nation on the football scene, but curiously the CCFM made no deals with them. Simply zero. Our association ignored them for many cups, signing players from other countries. In fact, the situation is exactly the opposite... the CCFM even had some conflicts with Elves Security Forces, and didn't want to negotiate with them. The situation only changed when Cafundéu participated in The YoungWorld group of nations."

LORD NAPLAS - "So, before the YoungWorld situation, the CCFM simply avoided negotiations with Elves Security Forces? They didn't sign with a single player, even they having excellent footballers at that time?"

THE SCOUT - "Yes. They weren't number one at that time, so we found suitable options in Ariddia, Bettia and Squornshelous, like was said. Even Milchama and Schiavonia negotiated with us. So, there wasn't the need to increase the list of shortlisted nations even more."

LORD NAPLAS - "And after Cafundéu entered to YoungWorld?"

THE SCOUT - "You know, now you caught me... I'm not sure if our first negotiations were before or after the entrance of Cafundéu in the YoungWorld... well, no time to force myself to remember this. After that, the huge amount of deals started to happen, and the good relations between the countries was built with speed, reaching the situation we have now, when Cafundéu sometimes signs up to ten players from Valanora during a single transfer window... this, of course, in the most active periods. Sometimes it seems that both are the same country due to this immense traffic."

LORD NAPLAS - "I see... so this happens every season?"

THE SCOUT - "Yes, we attempt to. They have a high position in the nation shortlist. The only problem that sometimes makes negotiating hard is that their players live long. This is excellent for the teams, as they'll have the players for a long time, but brings a strange situation to the CCFM, as the rotation of players in their national team is very, very slow. Bad only for negotiation chances, but great for the clubs as I've said."

LORD NAPLAS - "And the prices involved?"

THE SCOUT - "Variable. But, when it involves their best players, the amount tends to break records of transfer fees involving the CCFM. Sometimes the deal involves more than one hundred million of vintéms, an astronomic mark! Kiso Night has the record, he alone valued a hundred million vintéms! This is a looooot of money!"

LORD NAPLAS - "Certainly it is. And that's why I am certain Valanora must have some involvement in Urubupungá's scheme. When there is too money involved, we have to suspect. Unfortunately, we still haven't found enough evidence for this, but we will."

THE SCOUT - "Well, maybe this will be the last chance to analyze transfers between the two countries. The situation between the countries is passing through a crisis, and the CCFM has halted negotiations with the Vanorian until this confusion ends."

LORD NAPLAS - "Yes, I heard that. Curious how suddenly a negotiation that involved lots of players will completely stop."

THE SCOUT - "I hope it isn't for more than one season, as one season is guaranteed."

JUDGE ALRADE - "Enough talk unrelated to the trial. The Scout, take another ball."

THE SCOUT - "Okay, there are only two here... Daehanjeiguk, or The Han Empire."

PROFESSOR FRESCALHE - "According to the Modern Dictionary of Professor Dirceu of Portuguese Language, the correct way to refer to Daehanjeiguk is The Han Empire, and the correct form to refer to The Han Empire is Daehanjeiguk."


JARDINS - "Why is the rector of the Universidade Real Jutense doing here?"

FERRAZ - "He is giving us a lesson."

PROFESSOR FRESCALHE - "According to old dictionaries, you must use Daehanempire or The Han Jeiguk... wait, maybe The Dae Han Jeguk... well, these old books are confusing, let's use the usual procedure."

JUDGE ALRADE - "Which is..."

PROFESSOR FRESCALHE - "That both mean basically the same thing."

THE SCOUT - "Okay, so let me talk about the CCFM negotiations with The Han Empire. The beginning of our negotiations with them follows the same procedure of what happened with most of the nations we negotiate now. As they appeared after Cafundéu, the CCFM attempted to establish a link with them since their entrance in the World Cup qualifying stages. At that time, Daehanjeiguk didn't release much information about their players, so we had some difficulties in scouting. Eventually, we reached a deal that allowed us to sign with three of their players."

LORD NAPLAS - "So, the usual deal."

THE SCOUT - "Yes, but now this history takes another way, different from what happened with other countries. After this deal, it took a lot of time for the CCFM to guarantee the signing of another player of The Han Empire. We tried to contact them some times to negotiate, but we got no answer. So, we were restricted to these three players until we could finally reach another deal with them. So there was this period without business with Daehanjeiguk."

LORD NAPLAS - "I see... and what about the situation nowadays?"

THE SCOUT - "Good. We have signed many players from their National Team, and Banco Econômico even has a team in Daehanjeiguk, while Samseong has a partnership deal with Rio Bonito. Their players are getting success, the link is improving. They are getting a good position in our nations shortlist."

LORD NAPLAS - "So the amount of players being traded is increasing... but what about the values?"

THE SCOUT - "Nothing immense, the average price."

LORD NAPLAS - "Okay, time for the last ball. Ad'ihan. You don't even need to put your hand inside the box."

THE SCOUT - "Ad'ihan? You want me to comment about the CCFM deals with Ad'ihan?"

LORD NAPLAS - "Yes, any problem?"

THE SCOUT - "Maybe the fact that there is none?"

LORD NAPLAS - "But what about Julian D'Abbo?"

THE SCOUT - "That one was a long time ago. We were able to make just a single deal with them involving three... or was it two... players. Nothing more after that. And I must add that Ad'ihan often makes our nations shortlist, even with we knowing that it'd be nearly impossible to reach a deal with them. Our offers aren't considered, or they are rejected. They don't have the willingness to negotiate their players, unfortunately for us. I remember that the CCFM sent two offers in different World Cup cycles for goalkeeper Martin Kawn. One was rejected and other wasn't considered. I guess the CCFM knows that signing players from Ad'ihan is unprobable to happen nowadays. We could even make a comparison with Bostopia... the same thing happened. The CCFM got a deal with the Bostopians once, signing some players, but no more deals after that, with Bostopia starting to adopt a policy of not allowing players play abroad."

LORD NAPLAS - "Understood. That's all. I conclude my part. The defendants now can have their time."

JUDGE ALRADE - "The next session is scheduled to happen two weeks from now."

URUBUPUNGÁ - "So, Travassos, how are our chances?"

TRAVASSOS - "To be honest? I'll defend the point that these negotiations involved money laundering and not improper use of the CCFM budget... but you are with one foot inside the jail."

BUSTOS - "The situation is that bad?"

TRAVASSOS - "I'm afraid it is. They have enough evidence already."

URUBUPUNGÁ - "But can't we do anything?"

TRAVASSOS - "Agree with what I will say and have a lucky and convincent testimony."

URUBUPUNGÁ - "Can we bribe the jury?"

TRAVASSOS - "Certainly not! This is a fair trial, your situation would just get worse! Money won't help you here!"

URUBUPUNGÁ - "That's impossible! In Cafundéu, money buys everything!"

TRAVASSOS - "Everyone is following this, you won't get what you need, the jury won't accept your bribe now. And, even if money could help you, you are fighting against the Empire, which has much more money than you. If money can decide the fate of this trial, then you will surely be considered guilty!"

URUBUPUNGÁ - "Damn! Forgot the Empire is accusing me! I have no other option but to take advantage of the end of this session..."

TRAVASSOS - "To what?"

URUBUPUNGÁ - " flee!"

(Urubupungá starts running)


ALICE I - "So Naplas finally ended his part. I guess we have enough information to send them to jail."

BARON BOSHCKE - "We have. I am certain the judge's decision will be to comdemn the five."

ALICE I - "I expect this too. Wait... who is that one running towards the exit with that huge luggage?"

BARON BOSHCKE - "It is Carlos Alberto Urubupungá, my Queen."

ALICE I - "Aaaaaaaahhhhh! He is fleeing! We have to catch him! Everyone, get out of my way, I have a criminal to arrest! Ggggrrrrrrraaaaaaarrrrrrrr! DON'T RUN FROM ME!"

BARON BOSHCKE - "She sounds like a devil or something similar... and she is running after Urubupungá... the Empress is running after a criminal!"

ALICE I - (to a policeman on the street) "Give me your gun, orders of your Empress! You won't escape!"

(shoots twice, one shot hits Urubupungá's shoulder, but she later trips on some stairs and is unable to keep the chase)

PRINCE HECTOR - (going after her) "Are you okay, are you hurt?"

ALICE I - "This doesn't matter! He ran away!"

(OOC: Urubupungá fled. The Cafundelense Empire has no idea where he is now, but his plan was probably to travel in a clandestine way to Estresse Intenso and then travel to another country from there. If you have any idea [or want to be a volunteer] about the destination of Urubupungá, you can RP it or TG me with details)
Jeru FC
19-05-2009, 02:11
Kaye's Blog

We qualified! OK, Threetime was crappiest team in the group and they weren't the Han who lost to Quoddites but we won anyway. It was THREE NIL again for some weird reason. The coach was pretty happy but he was still sad for Jeruselem who missed by one point.

I've got a hangover. I really shouldn't drink too much as I do really stupid things. I woke and there's two guys in the same bed with me. They were quite nice actually, but I can't remember a lot. Needless to say, we're Jeru FC and these things happen. Julie for bit too friendly with coach too. Dunno what happened there but both of them look tired from doing something.

Now, the pressure is on us to perform. We have to make the 2nd round. We've been close twice but close isn't enough. Now, I hope we don't run into the God dang Purple Menace or them crazy Han again. Knowing our luck, we'll run into those Bay City Rollers or those girls who knocked out Jeruselem.

Thanks for the support everyone. Don't expect us to win this cup though. We are not C&M or Starblaydia or them pointy-eared folks. Our team has serious limitations and we don't have a Dazza Dallas to save the day. Well, some think I'm the Jeru FC Dazza but I'm not Dazza. I'm not smart or have real talent. I hack my way around the football field.

Well, most of Jeru FC basically do that. We are just army people after all. we're not the worst by all means though. We have be learning from the other team and we are getting better but our scoring firepower isn't good enough. The defense is rather flakey at times and our keeper has too many off days.

It's R&R time now. Well, not really. We go home back for army duties.
19-05-2009, 03:27
World Cup 45 Qualification - Group 12
PRQ: vs 1-0 [99] Norwellia (@ Sanhaemun Football Stadium, Cheonjin - 60,000)
MD1: vs 4-1 [24] Jeru FC (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira - 55,000)
MD2: @ 1-0 [84] Kagdazka (@ kak po russky...?)
MD3: vs 5-1 [110] The Bear Islands (@ Potala, Lasa - 34,000)
MD4: @ 4-1 [132] Threetime (@ Triple Trisomy?)
MD5: vs 1-0 [57] Quintessence of Dust (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong - 150,000)
MQ: @ [33] 2-3 Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colesseum - a lot of small people)
MD6: @ 3-3 [24] Jeru FC (@ barbarians' hut)
MD7: vs 7-0 [84] Kagdazka (@ Silk Road Stadium, Seoan - 56,000)
MD8: @ 0-0 [110] The Bear Islands (@ GAH! BARS! ... oh, that's bears, nvm...)
MD9: vs 3-1 [132] Threetime (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong - 65,000)
MD10: @ 1-2 [57] Quintessence of Dust (@ Arena of Dreams, Nowy Orpington - at least there isn't any trash here)
PTQ: vs Sarzonia (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium, Hangyeong - 200,000)
World Cup 46 - Group ?

*** Academy of Foreign Affairs, Sanghae ***

The Academy of Foreign Affairs had some real busy work to take care of, considering the number of foreign contacts that would have to be officially recognized for a number of transactions to occur. Tirelessly though, they worked and managed to pull out this publication as the final matches of WC46Q were being played out.

The Empire of the Golden Throne of The Macabees (麻可毖黃金寶座大王國;마가비황금보좌대왕국)*
The Incorporated States of Sarzonia (司綜耶統合;사종야통합)
The Federation of Baltic States of Somewhereistonia (某處渤特聯邦;모처발특연방)**

*you are about to become very popular...
**literally translates as "some place"; we do not guarantee very many tourists...

*** Hogwang Province ***

Falling... falling... falling...

After about three minutes of falling, Po Hakrim got tired of the feeling. Sure, the first ten seconds were frightening to hell, but once he got past that feeling, he felt exhilarated. Now having that same feeling of euphoria, he was tired of feeling exhilarated. It was old very quickly, and that uneasy feeling of hitting the ground at some however many g's of force that would inevitably rain upon him from the ground. The one wonderful thing that caught his mind was that he would rationally not fall any faster than he was already doing so because of the equivalent force of drag acting upon his body opposed to the force of gravity. And thus, having attained a certain velocity, he could conceivably attain any more damage from falling at a very high altitude as opposed to a slightly lower altitude. As to the manner in which this poor country boy knew all of this, you can thank his school teachers for that. At least they too can have the comfort of convincing their future boys and girls of the importance of learning elementary physics.

Of course, as some wise man once said, "It's not the fall that matters; it's the landing." And as far as Po could tell, there was nothing but dirt beneath him. If the ground was soft enough, he would have an impact of about .5 seconds, whereupon his poor body (mass 100 kg) would have a change in momentum of about 5,500 kg*m/s; that meant he would land upon the ground with an approximate force of over 1000 g's. However, if the ground was any harder, that impact time might be even shorter, say .1 seconds; that would mean his force would be 5 times that of the softer ground. And the only thing that he could hope for was a thick huge glob off jello to suddenly appear and absorb his fall, increasing the time to at least 60 seconds, whereupon he could survive a less imposing force.

It was just that, he suddenly found himself thrust into a giant glob of jello, cherry-flavored. And he fell through the seemingly endless ooze of jello until finally he found himself stuck in the gelatinous goo of jello, about 6 meters off the ground and encased in a dungeon of unbreatheable gunk. So much for that wish...

"You must be cautious of your thoughts," an old man said, as he waved his hands as if conjuring some magic. Instantly, a horde of little kids arrived and started to nibble at the giant glob of jello, devouring the towering menace in less time than it took for Po to fall through it. Po Hakrim, dressed now in dirty farmers' boy's clothing, stained with cherry-flavored jello (sugar free, apparently too), stood before this old sagacious man, wondering what the heck he was doing here at this time.

"You have been summoned to join an elite league of individuals, dedicated to the pursuit of balance in the universe."


"You were wondering what it is that you are doing here. I answered your unasked question."

"How'd you know?"

"Well, we prepared this whole thing in advance. The cooks spent three days preparing that mountain of jello, and I told the children that they could only eat it until after you had fallen into it."

Po seemed a bit flabbergasted. All of that jello just for him? And why couldn't they just buy the regular kind?

"Because children eat too much sugar these days anyway. They need balanced nutrition."

At that, Eunyong dropped down and landed upon the delicate top of a temple roof, gracefully extending her fragile wings over the bamboo grove nearby. The old man turned to the dragon, shaking his head bitterly.

"He's too old!" he cried out. "There's no way his mind can expand."

"You are one to say such a thing," the dragon replied. "But I remember that a master once that of a matter of men, there is no type of man that cannot learn."

"True, true. But the young ones are eager to learn. The older ones think too much before they become engaged to the thought. This magic is difficult to teach these days."

Wait... "Magic?" Oops... that was out loud.

"His mind speaks itself," the old man said. "He is beyond his years to learn."

"What's this magic about?"

"You don't believe in magic?" Eunyong asked, turning her gaze to Po. Po shook his head.

"All I've ever learned is that hard work brings good luck. I don't think there's anything else to be said."

"Magic is beyond just hard work though," Eunyong said. "Magic is such a foul name for the thing, because it's so vague as to what it means, but the true magic is a miracle of work. For when you see the rivers flow, at a glance is nothing, but its majesty takes an era for its full realization. Be it a majestic canyon, or a broad lake, the river's course is its own miracle. So to are the miracles of life, from the birth of a child to the death of an old man. Magic has its moments; you just have to stop and see where they are."

"I don't teach any of that," the old man retorted. "I teach my children to manipulate the water, to manipulate the wind, the fire, the earth, and the metal! They are elements of nature that can be bent by the will of a powerful mind. Because all the world is mind."

"I haven't any reason to concede that," Eunyong said. "Berkeleyian immaterialism is just as proven as its counterpoint."

"I don't care what they have to prove! You're just as bad as the rest of them! It shouldn't matter whether it is all mind or not; magic still occurs as a result of mental intervention into the sieves of reality. And any baby can learn how to move a mountain."

"By carrying any small stones?" Po asked.

The old man turned around and laughed. "No, I really mean it."

"Well, that's virtually impossible."

"Says you who just said that!" the old man said. With that, he turned his hand over to a running fountain of water and slapped Po with a stream of water running across his face. Po was shocked. "Tell that to your friends," the old man remarked as he started up the temple steps. Po stood there still shocked. He'd heard of things like that, but he had never quite seen anything like it. And while the old man retired inside, Eunyong came over and consoled Po.

"There are people who are born for greatness," she said. "And there are those who must strive for it. You have a hard path regardless of which way you go. But I know you have the talent for this. I have seen it in the fields you grow. You think that you nurture your rice plants with care and attention, but your words - more than you realize - help them to grow as well." Eunyong started up for flight. "I can take you home, but you will never be allowed to return here. And if you choose to stay, you can never return home. But the choice is yours. Do you stay and harness that power - that power which these people can teach you to summon? Or do you return to mediocrity? As for learning these tricks..." Eunyong gazed at the fountain still. "That is a trivial thing that has no significance. Those little things, though, you may learn, may yield greater significance in future acts."

The dragon started for flight. "Tell me now. Do you stay or do you long for the rice paddies at home?"

Po couldn't decide. Everything that he'd known told him that this was all just a big illusion. But getting slapped with water by empty hands - that was more than convincing enough to satiate his enormous curiosity. But the choice was absolute - either he'd stay or he'd go. He turned to the dragon. "Would you stay?"

Eunyong nodded as she descended. "If you're willing to hit yourself with a rock, don't you think it deserves a chance?"

*** Samseong HQ ***

Santa heaved a deep "Ho Ho Ho!" as the discussion finally wound down. The CEO checked his watch for the 1093rd time as the secretary came in with yet another tray of tea. Another interruption, and another tax. Thank goodness those Cafundelense folk hadn't thought up a tax on non-interruption.

"That's such a great idea!" Santa yelled, patting the CEO.

"What's such a great idea?" he asked, wondering if this chap was really telepathic.

"This partnership could make billions for both our companies! Samseong provides products for our customers, and we provide the finances! And then the taxes! Ho Ho Ho!"

"Right..." Every time he heard that "ho" chuckle, he swore that it became more and more sinister, not becoming of that happy chap who flew around on some annual global trip. And of course, there was that asking-a-question tax that he just gave up.

"And for giving us such a grand idea, there's a tax to pay for that! The idea tax! Because we don't want to discourage entrepreneurship! We just want to tax it!"

And that tax too...

"That's all good," the CEO said, muttering away under his breath. "I'm glad that we've got that deal done." He was also glad that they were done talking, because that was one less tax to pay, even if there was a tax to tax for the taxes that he wouldn't have to pay...

Just then an interruption!


"Ho Ho Ho!" Santa cried out jovially. "There's a tax for using a foreign language too!"

"For crying out loud!" the CEO cried. "Can't it wait?"

"Well, we've won the bid to buy out the Macabean National Football, in a cooperativve deal with some sporting academy! We've got to pay them 8 billion weon! And thanks to the BFA, we're paying the same 8 billion weon to the Newmanistanian National Football Team."

Upon hearing that, the CEO fainted. Santa simply chuckled his heart out. "There's a tax for fainting too..."

We Told You! Again!

NOWY ORPINGTON - Okay, you know we told you already, but it still happened despite our best efforts to convince people that we were vulnerable! Everyone hates us, you know that. And so we've been struggling to beat those teams, where people truly hate us. And the moment we thrust ourselves out into a country that seems to like us, they go out and beat us! They're tricksy, I tell ya! TRICKSY, like those damned nasty hobbitses! Oh, my precious... my precious...

Well, beyond the enormous fanfare that accompanied the arrival of the Han team into the Quintessence of Dust, we've qualified for the World Cup since who knows when (ed. that would be MD8). And Ioshido Toki, taking his usual antics for "testing the young ones", decided to test the waters with those reserves that utterly failed the same test against Taeshan. So let's go test it against an even harder team. That's right. Take the same losers (no insult intended, although it will certainly be taken) and throw them against even harder opponents.

Umm... well, that game against Threetime wasn't too hard, but then again, they're like the worst team in the group. Jeong Jihun got a brace while Baek Jihun managed an Olympian goal, scoring off a corner kick in the 78th minute. As to why they call it an Olympian goal, we haven't a clue. As to why our international audiences sometimes think that Jeong Jihun and Baek Jihun are really brothers (or sisters...ewww!), we blame it on their ignorance to realize that Han family names come first, followed by their given names (like "Smith John" or "Iglesias Enriques"). But anyway, the easy game was marred slightly by a little easy giving away by Bong Junho (why is he still on this team?).

That last qualifier match against Quintessence of Dust - oh why did they have to go fuck a mule? It was all downhill from the start, and despite some heroic antics by Bong Junho (yes, he was a bit heroic, the %$#^ goalkeeper), the Han were already down 2-0 within the first 4 minutes. At that rate, the Han would have suffered a 45-0 margin, but Ioshido Toki surprised everyone by subbing out Yi Beomsuk for Hui Yongjun. And I'll swear to Heaven, he really turned the match around. Granted, he couldn't reverse the scoreline, but for the rest of those 80 some minutes, he actually did something worth something to some people. And the fact he scored the only goal of the match puts something of reverence in our hearts for him. Ironically, it was Yi Beomsuk who had an odd foot, with a good sixty kilggrams of lead weights in his shoes. And what was seemingly an even affair turned offensive when in the 86th minute, trash started to rain from the sky. It seems that protesters had rented a helicopter and started to dump trash on the field from the air. Some critics called it a reflection of the Samseong take-over in Nowy Orpington (the Field of Dreams was once a landfill, I did once remark). I think those people would have been more sympathetic to the protester if they hadn't started to dump out jellyfish either, causing some of the people in the stands to suffer jellyfish stings, and the largest public display of... whatever... came unfurled in the stadium. I can only imagine the horror that some parents must have felt while watching the match.

And so well because... that's the end of that. I'll take you on a little preview of those people qualifying from around the world.

I can tell you that people from Samseong will be elated to read the news from Group 10. But we'll start from Group 1, where Bostopia qualified with a glorious 5-1 rout over compatriots Septentrionia. Despite waving their flags, the Septentrionians did not surrender their spot and also qualify. In Group 2, Starblaydia managed to qualify on top, with Qazox closely following behind them. Group 3 saw Sorthern Northland and Peisandros both qualify for the World Cup comfortably, with a 1-1 draw between them to round things up. Group 4 ended with a climactic (climatic refers to "climate", you grammernazis!) 4-3 win by Prux against Kura-Pelland, to put the latter on the brink of elimination. The fact that Kura-Pelland held a 1-1-0 H2H record against Arroza helped keep them aloft, as Arroza fell short, even of the GD. Despite defeating Taeshan in the final match, Nethertopia did not pray enough to either the God of Orthodoxy or any other gods, as the Archregimancy seized the top spot courtesy their 1-0 win over Hypocria. Taeshan had already qualified, despite having an alphabet where "r" comes before "e". In Group 6, Cafundéu seized a final win to end their qualification tour, while Kosovoe gained the points necessary to qualify over Akbarabad. SURPRISE!!! Group 7 has neither Jeruselem nor Milchama qualifying; instead, we'll substitute one set of uber-girls with another, and Gordon Bay City qualifies presumably for the first time (ed. do yor fukin research111). In Group 8, we get a sigh of relief as Valanora draw on their last match of their qualification tour against second-to-bottom-side Astholm. Sure, it was a boring 0-0 draw, and there was probably something ado about SLANI refs blowing the match in the wrong direction (rumors that they brought in hurricane fans are yet unconfirmed), but who cares! Well, Rennidan qualify in second place regardless. We go on to Group 9, where Candelaria And Marquez stole up the group, followed in by Jaseuyeon. Meanwhile, Samseong is reportedly celebrating a coup in Group 10, as both the Macabees, whom they reportedly bought for a record $15.5 billion dollars (as to how much belongs to those Somewhereistonian companies, we don't know yet), and Newmanistan qualified for the World Cup, over perennial qualifiers Yafor 2. Unconfirmed reports of the wealth of chaps named McLaughlin in Newmanistan seemed drowned in rather dull drunken hiccups following the match, as those coffers at the Newmanistanian FA looked eager to receive some rather huge purses in the near future. Group 11 saw Vephrall and Lovisa qualify - big surprise from the not-so-surprising group of WC46Q. Group 12, despite flailing our feet wildly, the Han qualify on top while Jeru FC secure their second place with a 3-nil win away at Threetime, who only managed to score 3 goals throughout qualification (someone really has to stop with these puns). Group 13 saw Sarzonia win qualification comfortably, with a 4-2 win away at Terra Anatidae to top it off, while the Holy Empire secured their own journey out to Ad'ihan/Kelssek at the expense of Krytenia (although qualifying for them was already a big question anyway - a matter of many many many many many many many many many goals). In Group 14, Bears Armed mauled their opposition - including Dancougar - to top the group, while Dancougar just eeked into the second position, with a 0-0 draw against Silexhera enough to settle the difference. And Group 15... who'd heard of it? Anyway, those SLANI folk and those Bazalonians won out a rather uneventful group.

And the last words - Those damned elves broke our scorinators! Whatever the hell that means...

Goal Scorers
11 - Jeong Jihun
8 - Kim Mihyeon
4 - Baek Jihun
2 - Mun Seongmyeong, Pak Yongho
1 - Kim Gwangseok, Kim Yongji, Shin Ganyak, An Pilrip, Hui Yongjun
19-05-2009, 03:51
Dancougar News!!
Yeah Penguins, seven more of those.

Defiant to the end, Silexhera set stage for future: Although the minutes must have seemed like hours to Silexhera manager Paul Hart, he'll later look back on this match and realize that there's nowhere else in the world he'd rather have been. A scoreless draw in Yuki City would not get his team into the World Cup, but it was the stubborn resistance of a team that was much prouder of the message that the result sent to the rest of the world.

We'll be back.

They did not face Shigeru Takeuchi's top eleven, but a point is a point, and the hosts were admittedly lucky to come away with anything despite all the chances they conjured. It was Silexhera which played with more passion despite spending only 40% of the match with possession, as they were the team with everything to lose on the final day. They would need a five-goal win to advance; they'd only scored ten in nine games. Any win would do if Bears Armed would falter, but after the ursines took an early lead against woeful Stargate Centurion, that avenue was closed.

They fought anyway. They had ears only for the cheers of their traveling fans, a small contingent that was nevertheless as loud as any section in the National Stadium, proudly waving their nation's banner and cheerfully relieving vendors of their alcohol. They ignored the close calls that came off the feet of Lillian DaCosta and Shoji Ishino and produced some of their own; witness Jeremy Cornelia's frantic dive after a 30-yard bomb by Kelly Sporadic, which he was relieved to see fly wide of the post.

A few months ago, Dancougar defeated them 1-0 in Silica City after a defensive struggle proved to everyone that the newcomers would not be taken lightly. They were more than a fast start or a trendy Cinderella. They hid a stable of capable strikers behind a rock-solid defense... a defense which could be counted on to protect a lead. And as they continued to match the Black Wings win for win, point for point, there was a real fear that Silexhera would overtake them in the group standings. It took a lineup change to revive the team's fortunes, and Silexhera's crucial loss to Bears Armed also played a part.

That journey came to an end on Sunday amid the celebrations of another World Cup qualification, Dancougar's seventh in eight attempts. But one had to wonder if all the applause just for the home team. Was it instead for the visitors who, after seeing their work culminate in a third-place finish, applauded their traveling fans as they left the field and refused to wear disappointment on their faces?

In the end, the records will show that Dancougar played the better football over ten matches. They will undeniably have to reach deep and pull out another gear if they're to progress farther in the World Cup. In the meantime, Silexhera will leave to make their mark on the Cup of Harmony. Who knows... should Dancougar win its bid, we may see the Silexherans back on this field playing for a championship. And the message then?

We're already here.
19-05-2009, 04:42
Fromburg Free Press
World Cup 46 Coverage

A 3-0 win over a outmanned Dave Campbell, sees Qazox fall 1 point short of tying Starblaydia atop the group as they gained a point against Rymeria in a 0-0 draw. Goals from Elmer Begaye, Marcie Drews, and Ramon Palin, all starting for the first time these qualifiers, gave the Pheonix a 3-0 lead by the 54th minute. Tyler Ting picked up his first shut-out.

With a record of 7-1-2, Qazox, once again finishes a qualifying effort with a good record, but mostly that has translated into little success at the World Cup itself. Perhaps the 12th consecutive time is the charm? Or maybe the 14th time overall maight be the charm? Or (most likely) another dissapointing 1-0-2 or 0-1-2 group stage at the Cup itself.

THE Fromburg Free Press PRESENTS
The 4th Biggest Moment/Event
in Black Oxen/Pheonix Footballing History
Date: July 3rd, 1906
Location: Fort Erie Stadium, Quakmybush
Event/Moment: Qazox' First World Cup Win.
Other Nation involved: Wentland.
Result: 3-2 win

Reprint of event from National Archives:

QSPNFootball.Net Match Report:

QAZOX-3 Wentland-2

Qazox jumped out to a shocking 3-0 lead on the best defensive team in qualifing, and held on for a historic 3-2 win over Wentland. Jonathon Sarafin, who saat out the last 5 qualifiers, showed very little rust scoring in the 13th and 29th minutes to give the Black Oxen a 2-0 lead. Kyle Horton added a 3rd goal just before the break to bump the lead up to 3-nil.

Cosmo "Magic" Kent managed to score twice for Wentland, in the the 62nd and 79th minutes, but Greg Wolfen held firm on 3 shots in the final 5 minutes to preserve the win.

Up next is The Lowland CLans, who drew with Giesenfried 1-1, leaving Qazox atop the Group B Standings.

Scoring Summary:
QAZOX: Sarafin (1,2) 13', 29'; Horton (1) 43'
Wentland: Cosmo "Magic" Kent: 62', 79'
Wentland: None
19-05-2009, 05:24
Griffinville Gazette

We said in our last issue that the simplest way for the Canines to qualify would be to just beat Kura-Pelland.

Well after 45 minutes, that looked to be difficult to do. Trailing 3-1, the Canine mounted an amazing comback, sparked by 2 brilliant saves from Princess, the 2nd a diving catch of a penalty kick in the 67th minute that would have made it 4-2 Kura-Pelland. Growler tied it up at 3-3 just minutes later and Ascot scored the winning goal in the 84th minute.

The win gave Prux its first ever Group title, which means little in terms of how the team will do in the Cup.
19-05-2009, 08:13

The Millionaires will be heading for their fourth Cup of Harmony following a 3-3 draw with Quakmybush. In the long run, it wouldn’t have mattered anyway since Bazalonia routed Opereta by the score of 5-0. I guess our planned donation to their cause got them too excited that they forgot how to play defense. It was an entertaining match between us and the Celts, with neither team opening up larger then a one-goal lead on the other. Quakmybush scored first, but then goals by Scott Tollison and Kevin Tucker put us in front, only to fall behind 3-2 midway through the second half. Michael Cardona scored an equalizer in the 80th minute to force the draw. Secristan’s qualifying campaign thereby ends with a record of 4-4-2, 16 points, and third place, and winning only one game in the second half proved to be costly. The Millionaires will head to the Cup of Harmony now, which will be without two-time defending champion Newmanistan, who qualified for the World Cup. This could open the door for a team like Secristan, who was a semifinalist in Cup of Harmony 37 even though the likes of Jeruselem and Milchama will be in the field, and maybe Yafor 2. Also expected in the field will be Krytenia, Akbarabad, and Arroza, who should also be strong contenders, and there are a few other good nations in the mix as well. It will be a competitive Cup, and the Secristan Department of Sports hopes that you will decide to watch the games.

The SDOS reports that World Cup 46 qualifying was successful despite failing to qualify. The team accomplished the bear minimum needed for maximum revenue generation, which was to still have a chance until the final match day. There is one post-qualifying friendly to be played, which is the “Battle for the Penthoria” against Newmanistan. This year’s edition will be on the road.
Queer Poco el Mono Ara
19-05-2009, 13:24
The qualification process was over and Queer Poco were still in search of a coach. Within the confines of a stuffy board room sit a group of men wearing expensive suits considering the future. In walks a girl with a serving trolley.

“Coffee gentlemen?” she gestures with her hand toward a cafetiere, those who nod she serves swiftly asking quietly “Sugar? Cream?” whilst the heated debate continues. At the head of the table sits the chairman of Queer Poco el Mono Ara’s football association, who sits stroking his beard as the members of the board discuss who will be employed as the National first team coach. In front of him a dossier containing information on a number of the top coaches the World over, including the more recognizable, Andy Le Lan, Ioshido Toki, Asdrubal Espinoza, Caio Meback and Raul de Olivares.

“So, who do you think we can get?” asked the chairman. He knew the answer he wanted to hear, but whether he’d get it was another thing.

Nobody said anything, instead the members of the board dropped their heads and pretended to read the dossiers. Nodding occasionally and humming, the lack of response to the question was becoming increasingly more noticeable.

“So?” he asked again. Rapping his fingers on the thick table.

“To be honest Mr. Chairman, I think these managers are still under contract.” Said Raul sheepishly.

“Send telegrams to their representatives, informing them that the position of the Queer Poco national coach is available and that they have been considered.” The chairman spoke over his assistant ignoring his reply.

“But sir..” interjected Raul

“What is it Mr. Marquez?” the chairman flashed Raul a look, this was defiance and something which the chairman would not stand, but Raul knew he was right and knew that money couldn’t excuse this behaviour.

“Mr. Chairman these men are under contract and accepting an approach from our Association would surely be breech of that contract.”

The chairman slammed his fist into the table as he stood. He was a dominating muscular man and his frame blocked the sun entering the boardroom as he stood casting the other men into shadow and disguising his face. He snarled at Raul, “Money, Mr. Marquez will wash away any problems we may encounter in perusing our chosen coach.”

Raul shrank back in his chair and fidgeted. Looking up at the man shrouded in darkness he uttered “But not every man is driven by money, for some glory is more important.”

The boardroom was silent except for the heavy nasal breathing of the chairman. Sucking up air through his nostrils then forcing it back out angrily, his jaw clenched, he was seething with rage and the insubordination from his assistant. The football association was less a democracy, but a group of men assembled to carry out the chairman’s wishes.

“Send the telegrams to those on the shortlist. The offer we are prepared to make, no man could resist.”

To: Representative of [aforementioned managers]
From: Queer Poco el Mono Ara’s Football Association
RE: National Coach Position

Dear sir,

You have been nominated as a candidate for the position of Queer Poco el Mono Ara National football team coach. As a candidate you have been recognized as one of the top men in this field and an individual with whom the QPMAFA would wish to be regarded as possible employers.

Further information is available about the position upon reply to this telegram. Failure to reply will convey you’re decision to be discounted from the application process.

Graciously awaiting your response.
19-05-2009, 16:09
This is the RP cutoff for post-qualifying friendlies.

Scores! (

The group draw for the finals will take place in two days on Friday, May 22.
19-05-2009, 20:55
Purple Knights Defeat The Phoenix

One out of three ain't bad, thats what the National soccer Teams Purple Knights are telling themselves tonight after they won only one game of their three game friendly set up before the big world cup Group Stage. Game one saw them lose a 5-0 barnburner and saw them finish in 3rd place in the four team Mike Sarzo Memorial cup which went to Krytenia the team that beat them. Game two was another barnburner as the Candelarian squad walked in and welcomed themselves with a 3-0 tromp of the Knights. Finally in the bggest game of the weekend the Knights beat big rivals Qazox in the reegional Championship soccer series final game. After tieing game one, the Knights one the two game series with a 1-0 victory at home on Brian Ying uings 120th career goal in the 60th minute.
19-05-2009, 22:35
By all rights, no one on the Sarzonian national football team had any right to smile.

However, after Sarzonia finished a two-match stretch featuring a 0:2 loss to Starblaydia at glimmering Mike Sarzo Stadium in Nicksia, resulting in the Stars finishing dead last in the Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy tournament and a 1:1 draw in Hangyeong's Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium, Franz Braddock grinned as he stepped to the podium.

"Well, we proved one thing to ourselves," he said. "We can play with three of the world's best teams consistently."

"How can you say that?" Travis West asked. "Your record is 1-2-1 against top-10 football sides this World Cup cycle."

"Travis, you've watched all the matches," Braddock said. "You've seen how this team has played. We played most of our depth players against The Han Empire, and gave Cody [Taylor, the Stars goalkeeper] a match off against Starblaydia, and Starblaydia didn't score their second goal until second-half stoppage time. And their first goal came against the run of play."

"Well, coach, what kind of implications do you think this has on the team's World Cup finals performance to come?" another reporter asked.

"It's all about the journey," Braddock said. "We're back in the World Cup Finals for the first time in 16 Cups. We made it back after three World Cups, at a faster rate than we did the first time we competed in World Cup XVI, when it took four World Cup cycles to make it to the finals."

"Well, what's your take on the journey then?"

"I thought this team had potential from the outset. It's a reason I applied for this job. I thought it could make the finals in one try. What it does from here is anyone's guess. I think we can do good things, but we'll have to play tougher defence to do it."

"Are you going to alter your system?"

"I think everyone tightens things up to a degree," Braddock said. "But we're at a point now where we are who we are as a team. I don't think we can go from attack-minded football to Karelan, but I also think we can't disregard our defensive responsibilities the way we did in some matches."

"So are you going to put more emphasis on defence?"

"Yes, but we still are going to attack." [OOC: Please change Sarzonia's style modifier to +2.]

"What about the teams you'll face in the Finals?"

"Has the group draw happened yet?"


"Ask me when they do the group draw," Braddock said. "Until then, I won't speculate."
Jeru FC
20-05-2009, 01:37
After Jeruselem lost to Jeru FC 2-0 ...

Marie: You and your diving ...
Kaye: Well, OK ... I did kind of make it look worse than it was.
Marie: You been practicing then.
Kaye: I've been learning from the best! Like ... you

Marie: Good to see we're teaching Jeru FC good habits.
Kaye: We learn from everyone.
Marie: What's up with the Gray fella?
Kaye: Oh him, he's a pervert.

Marie: Explains a lot.
Kaye: Why?
Marie: When you grab someone's shirt, you don't grab under the shirt.
Kaye: Oh yes, he's like that. He likes you!

Marie: Yes, that was obvious. There's tagging but his idea of tagging is a bit too kooky.
Kaye: Don't worry, he doesn't do that to normal girls.
Marie: I really hope so.
Kaye: Well, he gets into trouble a lot. The coach has to bail him out sometimes.

Marie: We keep our sexual harassment off the field.
Kaye: Yes, keep it off the field.
Marie: You always seem to be doing stuff together.
Kaye: We're not a couple, it's business ...

Marie: So it's just money stuff, not a relationship.
Kaye: Yes, I'm not going with Mr Pervert.
Marie: I was just curious.
Kaye: I have better taste in men than that.

King: Hi girls ...
Kaye: Ooooooooooo, it's our leader!

<Kaye faints>

King: That's the second time I've done that.
Marie: These Jeru FC girls have to learn self control.
King: We'd better pick her up then.
Marie: She looks like she's used to lying down.

Kaye: Sorry sorry! (gets up)
King: She's up again. Look I'm just an ordinary guy, like any other.
Marie: No need for hysterics.
Kaye: Can I have an autograph?

King: Sure, anything for our representives at the World Cup finals.
Marie: And one other thing Kaye
King: Do you always wander around with no pants?

King: Who's Gray?
Marie: Pervert in Jeru FC team.
Kaye: I'm sorry! One shouldn't expose themselves like this in front of the nation's leader.
King: It's nothing, I live in with a house of Dallas girls. Nudity doesn't bother me really.

Kaye: OK then. But this shouldn't have happened.
King: This happen all the time?
Kaye: Yes
20-05-2009, 02:03
The Daily Quak
Clsoer Then We Should Have Been

The Quakmybush Celts came up short in their bid to qualify for the 46th World Cup. Although the Celts did not lose their final two games they missed qualified by five points. The Celts finished with a record of 4 wins 1 draw and 5 losses. The Celts were the closest to qualification in many years, and hope to build their rank and hope to be invited to the upcoming Cup of Harmony that will either be hosted by Valanora, (formerly ESF), and Dancougar, a nation we have never heard of. The Celts are nearlly positive that they can qualify for World Cup 47 and will hopefully come close to winning a World Cup eventually.


Quakmybush 0–1 Capitalizt SLANI
Quakmybush 0–3 Bazalonia
Lemetel 0–1 Quakmybush
Quakmybush 3–1 Opereta
Secristan 3–1 Quakmybush
Capitalizt SLANI 1–0 Quakmybush
Bazalonia 2–0 Quakmybush
Quakmybush 4–1 Lemetel
Opereta 1-2 Quakmybush
Quakmybush 3-3 Secristan

Goal Scorers

Rudolf Slobodan - 6
Jon Fields Jr. - 4
Brendon Gabriel - 2
Brendan Billy - 1
Danilo Yannis - 1
20-05-2009, 03:48
Dancougar News!!
There has got to be a cartoon somewhere where robot elves fight each other...

Queer Poco trounced in final warmup: They weren't in the Baptism of Fire and they weren't even in qualifiers. Yet there it was on the desk of the chief of the Dancougar FA: a request for friendlies from Queer Poco el Mono Ara. Nothing like growing the brand overseas, he figured, and it would be good to get a head start given that it was only a matter of time before the newcomers happened upon a match or two played by Valanora or the Candelarias... you know, teams who actually as good as their ranking suggests.

It was the last chance for a handful of players to give Shigeru Takeuchi a reason to include them in his final roster for Ad'ihan and Kelssek, and the reserves performed admirably, thrashing Queer Poco 4-0. John Schiermeier all but cemented his place on the final team by popping in his second goal of the cycle, while Yuki City Athletic's Kou Hirano also netted a goal in a rare national team appearance.

"They're a team with high aspirations and we look forward to seeing them join the football community," said Takeuchi of their opponents, who have recently started a domestic football league and have just kicked off the search for a national team manager. "We've already seen how teams like Silexhera and Gordon Bay have been able to make a fast impact, and while this team isn't quite there yet, there's a lot to be excited about as they come up to speed."

The result was never really in doubt, with Hirano putting the Wings up after a ferocious early onslaught culminated with a 15th-minute goal. Schiermeier and Christian Chojnacki added to the lead before halftime and Makoto Katayanagi confirmed the rout just past the hour mark. For Chojnacki in particular, it was a performance to savor, since it may have gotten him back on Takeuchi's good side. The midfielder was dropped from the starting lineup after frustrated, cynical play in the first half of qualifying added up to a suspension. He hadn't looked sharp at all.

"We made some improvements during the final stretch, and we'll need to take those lessons into the World Cup itself," said Takeuchi. "We wanted to make sure all twenty three that make the trip are in good form and are ready at a moment's notice."
20-05-2009, 04:08
Fromburg Free Press
World Cup 46 Coverage

A 1-0 loss to Taeshan gives Taeshan, temporary bragging rights within the Q Continuum as they won the series this World Cup Cycle 1-1-0.

THE Fromburg Free Press PRESENTS
The 4th Best Player
in Black Oxen/Pheonix Footballing History

Player: Marie Goya
Played in: World Cups 27-30
Caps: 60 (t5th most in Team History)
Goals: 20 (6th most in Team history)
Best Moment: 2 goals vs. Benlandngdo during World Cup 29 qualifiers.

Ms Goya. died in 1927 at the age of 68 in a threshing accident on her family farm in Krenville, Certifiably Insane (currently Northland Territory of Qazox)
20-05-2009, 06:33


Pocono City- Finally, the Newmanistan Rockets have qualified for World Cup 46. After steroid allegations, reported curses and a coach on the hot seat, we are going to experience what World Cup play is like. It’s been a long time coming. There is only one man on the present team who has been around since our Baptism of Fire, and that would be assistant coach Jeremy McAllister. His trials and tribulations have been discussed here so many times, that we will let that slide for the moment. This will also be the only time you hear a mention of SAPCO in this article. There will be stories concerning that but this is not the time or place. While there are no active players left from that team, we do have Jennifer Vilardi, who has been part of the team since World Cup 41 and endured five failed qualifications. During this qualifying period, Jennifer moved past Brett Carlson into second place on the Empire’s all time goal scoring list. Her twin sister Shannon was not on the World Cup 41 roster, but has been since. Captain Scott LaFave and fullback teammate Alex Lampert have been coming since World Cup 42, so there are others who have been through a lot as well. By the way, in case you missed it, Lampert’s Cafundo do Juta club in Cafundeu won the TQCC championship! Congratulations, Alex, on behalf of the Rocket Report on the title, and to your teammates as well.

You can’t forget Nelson Yaschter, who took over midway through qualifying in World Cup 45, who’s patient but stern style with the young players paid off. Somewhere, we are sure that former coach Brian Carson has heard the news. His Tenderville United side may have had their day by knocking out Loudon in the early TQCC stages, but we are sure he has a sick feeling in his stomach now as he has yet to offer any kind of congratulatory statement to the team. With Sarzonia also qualifying, there could have been some criticism for our failing to hire Franz Braddock when we had the chance before he took the Stars job. Fortunately, we don’t have to put up with that.

We wonder now what the World Cup will have in store for us. It’s a whole new playing field. You can be assured that Newmanistan will be grouped with at least two nations who have successfully qualified many times, and their experience will certainly help them in their matches against us. For them, since qualifying is an expectation, this is just the start, while for us, it’s a continuation of a memorable run. Not all top ranked teams have success in the group stage, just take a look at Qazox. We remember in our beginning years that they would always bow out in the group stage, frustrating their fans. They have since climbed that hurdle, only to realize there were many more hurdles lying ahead of them. Should we go to Ad’ihan over Kelssek, it will bring back memories of our Cup of Harmony 34 championship, since that is where that title was eventually won. It will make the excessively optimistic fans point out that the Cup of Harmony 33 champion won World Cup 45, so why can’t the Cup of Harmony 34 champion win World Cup 46? Of course those are probably the same people who wake up at six o’clock in the morning and are annoyingly cheerful. Newmanistan won’t be predicted to advance, but may be the kind of spoiler that gives teams fits, so we’ll have to see what happens. If we go to Kelssek instead of Ad’ihan, the main advice we can give you is to pack some extra clothing. It gets cold there. Newmanistan has no major history with Kelssek yet, but perhaps this is time to make some.

While we wait for the group draw, which is expected later this week, Newmanistan did have two post-qualifying friendlies in which were more symbolic them meaningful. The Rockets didn’t have their traditional spark in the Battle of the Penthoria against Secristan, but still managed a 1-1 draw. The Millionaires also appeared a little flat. The second game was a late addition to the schedule: Newmanistan vs West Newmanistan. While we are sure that the rest of the world couldn’t care less, this was a very symbolic matchup considering the past conflict. With peace treaties now signed, the nations elected to have a friendly with one another. The Rockets seemed to be a little more into this one and goals by Shannon Vilardi and Keith Taylor led us to a 2-0 victory. It is still not known if West Newmanistan will field a team for World Cup 47, and even their eventual Cup of Harmony invitation is up in the air as to whether or not it will be accepted.

The Cup of Harmony. Feels good not to have to worry about, doesn’t it? We’re sure there are a handful of teams there that will be glad not to see us, too.
20-05-2009, 08:53
String of draws a concern.

Peisandros coach Alexander Pappas as expressed concern at his sides poor end to qualification. While the Sandrians have not been defeated since MD5, there have been four draws in the following seven games, including the current three in a row. Another worry was the inability of the team to score more than one goal in all four draws. With the latest draw, in a friendly against Jeru FC, the record for the successful qualification stands at 7-4-2. Although by no means a 'bad' record, Pappas would have been far more comfortable at 7-1-2. As it is, the Sandrians are going to need to really pick up their act for the finals which are just around the corner.

This will be the second trip to the finals for the Pappas coached Sandrians. In their first outing at WC44 they qualified above then higher ranked teams Green wombat, Terreiro de Ogum and Secristan. It was then on to the finals in Candelaria And Marquez where they were grouped with World #1 Valanora, #12 Jeruselem and #19 The Holy Empire, the Sandrians were ranked #46 by this stage. After a first up hiding from Valanora they rallied against Jeruselem to win 2-1. It left a tense final match day, in which everything went Peisandros' way. A 1-1 draw with The Holy Empire was enough to secure a stunning second round berth, all in their first appearance at the Football World Cup.

In the second round they were handed the extremely difficult task of trying to beat Starblaydia, who were ranked 6th at that time. The brave Sandrians went down just 1-0 and as for Starblaydia, well they went on to win the cup. This amazing run by the Peisandros boys was envied by many who were shocked that a team ranked 84th in the world could get through to the second round in their first crack at it. In WC45 the Sandrians were forced back to earth after narrowly missing qualification. The big names of Kura-Pelland, Bostopia and Bazalonia were all good enough to ensure the Sandrians couldn't prove 44 was a fluke, but it was very close. They ended up a point behind Kura-Pelland and took the positive of a 1-1-0 record against Bazalonia.

Now we're at WC46 and the Sandrians have another shot at it, but as stated earlier, Pappas is nervous. He would have been thoroughly impressed with the first stages of qualification, where despite a friendly loss to Bears Armed and a loss to Sorthern Northland, both away, the Sandrians won every game. Now following the draws to Somewhereistonia, Golgothastan, Sorthern Northland and Jeru FC the coach is wondering whether his boys have forgotten how to win.

"Yeah I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a concern. While I'm reasonably happy with the Sorthern and Jeru draws, the other two are disappointing. We targeted those games even though we were on the road. I guess that's the one positive from these draws, three of them have been on the road and holding Sorthern at home wasn't a bad result. The other positive is that we haven't been scoreless since our pre-qualifying friendly against the Bears, so I guess the new style is working.

What we're looking for at the finals is to get those killer instincts back. Upfront we've gone a bit quiet, so there could be a change after Lefteris impressed with the few changes he got. George is still a fantastic striker though so any change will be well thought and planned. Otherwise in terms of personnel and game-playing it's been good. Very good. It could just be we lack that edge but I know the boys want this and will step up at the finals and they're very excited to get in to it. The training has been hard this week and players are keen to show they're good enough to get a start, so that competition for spots it good for everyone."

Pappas was excited about the group draw for the finals. After receiving a pretty tough group last time round the wily coach will be ready for whatever is thrown at the team. He also expressed no preference as to which country the team was based, stating both hosts had excellent reputations for stadia and football in general.

Stay tuned, next up the boys at Football Week will go through all of Peisandros' games to date.


Full qualifying recap.

Host 1: Hello everyone and welcome to this edition of Football Week. Today I'm joined by Host 2 and Host 3 and we'll be giving a very quick recap of the World Cup for the Sandrians to date.

Host 2: And what a World Cup it's been! It's been exciting to see the boys doing well and qualifying for their second finals series.

Host 3: Yeah, it's been a great effort. I thought the squad might struggle, especially with Pappas' new style, but they've clicked and thoroughly deserve to be at the finals. But lets get in to this recap!

Host 1: Indeed and lets go all the way back to that first friendly against Bears Armed. Feels like a long time ago doesn't it?

Host 3: That's because it was a long time ago and the less said about that game, the better.

Host 1: Bu --

Host 3: So, game one of qualifying in proper and the Sandrians showed their intent early against the unranked Australiazia.

Host 2: That's right, it was a great game and gave us a glimpse of the attacking prowess the team possessed. A five nil win was a brilliant start to their campaign.

Host 1: Yes it was very good, and the Costa Theotokis hat-trick must have sent a few messages to the other contenders?

Host 2: Well I doubt that, it was against an unranked team. Their second game was impressive too, a win against 59th ranked Somewhereistonia.

Host 3: Yeah that was another goody. I was again impressed with Costa, but he was overshadowed by Nikolaidis, who continued to prove his worth.

Host 2: And those two shone in the third game, the 2-0 victory away in Edward City, each picking up a goal.

Host 1: Praxis sure does have some skill, do you think his posting in Daehanjeiguk helped him?

Host 2: Yes. So, moving right along game four and it was the fourth win.

Host 3: Another win indeed and at this stage I was already thinking of finals! The 4-2 victory saw two goals for Nikolaidis and one each for the Sisinis brothers.

Host 1: Against Golgothastan too, not exactly a bad team.

Host 2: Not bad at all. Right. Last game of the first round saw the boys up against Sorthern Northland and this was always going to be tough.

Host 1: And it proved to be as much! A 4-2 loss but on the road. The two goals though showed how they weren't too far away.

Host 2: Well they were two goals away. Costa's goal was the highlight here, but the tap-in for George was preceded by great midfield play.

Host 3: That's right. Even though they let in four they continued to attack and looked dangerous at times.

Host 2: So that was the first six games and not a bad record, 4 wins and two losses.

Host 3: The mid-qualifying friendly saw them play Quintessence of Dust and it was all Peisandros.

Host 1: Yeah I was quite disappointed with the Quintessence of Dust performance, I think the PFA should select tougher opponents for friendlies.

Host 3: Thank God you don't work there then. Quintessence were just overwhelmed by the crowd and occasion, they're a quality side. Anyway it was good to see George scoring in consecutive games and Nikolaidis scored a stunner late to seal the deal.

Host 2: After that win it was back to the real business of qualifying. At first up it was back on the road against Australiazia. Another easy win although the two goals let in not so good.

Host 3: Yeah that's right Host 2, but I think overall a great performance. One each for Costa, George, Praxis and a double for Notara. Those four again showing the attacking talent of the team.

Host 1: Just quickly on that, do you thin --

Host 2 & Host 3: No.

Host 2: So after that big win it was Somewhereistonia again. This time they seemed to learn their lesson somewhat?

Host 3: The defense for them played far better, that's for sure. I think Costa missed a pretty easy chance late though, but the early Erasmus goal was enough to hold on for the 1-1 draw.

Host 1: As it was, it proved to be a tale of things to come. Anyway, next up it was hosting Edward City, bit of a rivalry there.

Host 3: And again it was Peisandros' day. A great performance infront of a big crowd in Thasos. The two goals, one from replacement striker Lefteris Diakos and defender Nikos Maximos, were great to watch and the crowd were definitely entertained.

Host 2: Well you would hope so because for the las three games of the campaign there hasn't been too much to write home about.

Host 3: That's right. Firstly the Golgothstan draw, who like Somewhereistonia showed they were a better team at home. Diakos' goal did show what class he has though. Then there was the very good game down in Olympia, which saw the Arena packed out.

Host 1: Highest attendance for any Peisandros football game, pretty impressive.

Host 3: Yeah thanks for that Host 1, pfft. But yes this was a good draw to watch. Both teams looking for goals with top spot in the group on the line. The Sortherners were not going to let the upset occur though and there late equalizer after an early Christakis-Zografos header was pretty tough on the Sandrians.

Host 2: Indeed it was but they certainly could hold their heads high after the game.

Host 3: To right. Okay the last game now, the 1 all draw with Jeru FC. I personally thought it was a pretty good result on the road.

Host 1: Well, --

Host 2: YES well it was, wasn't it. They're a good side and although it was the fourth draw, it was better than a loss and shows plenty of promise. Good to see Costa scoring again aswell.

Host 3: Costa is going to be key to the finals, he sure is in good form. Right, talking of goal scorers, lets have a quick look at the tally.

Costa Theotokis - 8
Praxis Nikolaidis - 8
George Theotokis - 4
Lefteris Diakos - 2
Luke Erasmus - 2
Apollodoros Notara - 2
Urias Halkias - 1
Paris Sisinis - 1
Luke Sisinis - 1
Nikos Maximos - 1
Christakis-Zografos - 1

Host 2: Wow, eleven different scorers, that's pretty intense. Anyway, that's all we've got time for. Thanks for joining us. For Host 3, I'm Host 2, goodnight!

Host 1: Goo --

*Program ends. Credits roll

PQ Friendly:
@ Bears Armed 0-1.
Qualifying round one:
MD1: v Australiazia (Peisandros Basin, Delphi.) 5-0.
MD2: v Somewhereistonia (National Sports Arena, Olympia.) 3-1.
MD3: @ Edward City 2-0.
MD4: v Golgothastan (People of Ephesum Stadium, Ephesum.) 4-2.
MD5: @ Sorthern Northland 2-4.
MQ Friendly:
v Quintessence of Dust (Peisandros Basin, Delphi.) 2-0.
Qualifying round two:
MD6: @ Australiazia 5-2.
MD7: @ Somewhereistonia 1-1.
MD8: v Edward City (ATI Stadium, Thasos.) 1-0.
MD9: @ Golgothastan 1-1.
MD10: v Sorthern Northland (National Sports Arena, Olympia.) 1-1.
PQ Friendly:
@ Jeru FC 1-1.
WC Finals:
Draw unknown.
Gordon Bay City
20-05-2009, 13:10
“No! No, don’t look at me like that… I’m not paying for a donkey ride, and that’s final!”

“Aw, come on, gaffer! Don’t be a meanie, why can’t he?”

“Because he’s a camel, Alan. It’s unnatural. He can have a cornet, if he wants…”


“Well tough! I’m your manager, I’m not your friend. Sometimes we have to be harsh, but it’s for your own good. Oh, now he’s fluttering his eyelashes at me, goodness grief…”

Nearby, Kxaŋ͡ǂi rose a foot and clicked sympathetically. Mark caught his eye.

“Aye, you said it, lad…”

The creature grinned, and loped off for another paddle, Mark staring vaguely at its retreating Bermuda shorts for want of something to do. The manager wasn’t one of the world’s biggest supporters of the seaside, but the squad deserved the break. He still couldn’t see the point why it had to be here, in the islands of Qutar, when they had perfectly pleasant beaches back home, but…

Well, yes. That would be one reason, certainly. You could come across plenty to raise an eyebrow along Marquez’s western coast, particularly if your Spanish wasn’t too hot, but nothing quite like the Gordon Bay City national football team on an afternoon off.

Granted, several of them were busy playing beach cricket and generally engaging in decidedly human activities, but somehow that just made the whole scene… creepier. A four-four tall, hunched, hoofed, clawed, hairy creature standing at silly mid-on would still be a terrifying sight for your average Candelariasian, no matter how you dressed it up. And it was currently wearing shades and a sombrero.

Still… maybe they all needed this, and it was relaxing, certainly. The squad had a vast stretch of the beach to themselves – they hadn’t asked for this, never mind paid for it, but the other Qutari locals and Atlantian Oceanian holiday-makers were giving them a wide berth – and it was all team-building at the end of the day, wasn’t it? Granted, on current form they hardly needed that – the Albatross Stadium had been all but empty by the time the final whistle had blown on the visitors’ one-nil win, such was the sheer lack of confidence that the Qutaris had in their team’s ability to pull anything back against Baker’s me… team – but their World Cup opponents would no doubt be made of sterner stuff. If anything was going to help this lot overcome Starblaydia and Valanora and whatnot, Mark thought, it would be sheer togetherness. That and the master tactician in the dugout, obviously. And the floating head.

He rested his paperback French for Utter Morons on his lap as Alan wandered into deep extra cover – he had rapidly emerged as a Comptonesque figure equally talented in almost every sport he put his curiously assembled hand to, and had therefore been exiled to the boundary for fairness’ sake – and smiled vaguely at his star striker.

“Who’s winning?”

“That’d be us furries, gaffer. Bit of a catchweight contest, t’be honest. Otters makes a decent wicket keeper, but Brian needs a runner and Kxaŋ͡ǂi keeps trying to eat the ball, bless his cotton socks… Whup, there’s goes Mu’hurrrghougha… bit of slow left-arm… Promising action, mind you…”

“Stellan not out there with you?” Mark asked, squinting.

“Nah, he’s milling about the hotel. Not one for the sun, our Stell. You can slap on the factor five-hundred all yeh like, but it don’t help much if yer liable to turn to stone anyhow… Summat of a shame your lad Aino ain’t here, an’ all…”

“Aye,” Mark agreed, and meant it. It really was. He couldn’t bare the ghastly faerie, obviously, but… “I do hope he’s alright…”


When it came, the knock on the door was unexpectedly authoritative. Leohi grimaced to herself. Clearly, her brother was in one of those moods. This was not going to be jolly.

Taking her time, she crossed the carpet to her desk, slipped into her swivelly chair, adjusted her half-moon spectacles to an appropriately patronising position along her nose, and laced her fingers in a thoughtful pose.

“Come in, Aino…”

The footballer slipped inside the little office in Gordon Bay City’s old town hall, and gently pulled back the hard chair on the opposite side at the desk. He smiled icily at the Queen.

“You wished to see me, your highness…”

“Come now, Aino!” Leohi laughed, “Why so formal? Surely I do not need to make an appointment to speak with my own brother…”

“One would have thought not… And yet it would seem I am at your beck and call, dear sister, like any other of your servants…”

“Colleagues, Aino, colleagues,” the Queen replied briskly. “And you are not still upset that I asked you not to travel to Qutar?”

“I remain… peeved, yes.”

“From what my advisors tell me, the game was as… latex passed into the underworld?”

Aino’s lips moved as he attempted to work this one out. “A dead rubber? Yes, in that sense, we had already qualified. None the less, the experience of playing a still competitive match cannot be stressed enough.”

“I have no doubt you will keep your place on the team, dear brother,” Leohi said sweetly.

“That is hardly the point! I was told to remain here ahead of a conversation on recent… matters, with yourself. And then you chose to make yourself scarce for days!”

“I had other affairs of state to attend to. Life as an absolute monarch is by no means as easy as you might believe,” the Queen said wearily.

“No doubt you are still up to the task.”

“I was not suggesting otherwise. But since you understand that my time is precious, dear brother… May we move on to the more pressing subject at hand, that being your… invitation to a not insignificant number of foreigners to join our little project? Aino, I say this with the deepest affection, but what in the name of all the gods were you thinking!?”

Aino smiled grimly. “Mark Baker said much the same…”

“Evidently your pet human has accrued more wisdom over his short life than we had previously given him credit for. Aino, there are pixies in Parsons Street! There are hutchen in Hunneyball Crescent! Several families of yarthkins have moved into the abandoned tower blocks along Dolphin Walk and are in the process of renovating the local Mengucci’s as an all-night pizzeria catering for the growing thusser community!”

“One has to admire their entrepreneurial spirit, sister.”

“They are employing three salvani to work as delivery men!”

“We should be thankful they are not finding employ in food preparation. They possess large claws and are covered in thick fur, after all. It would be a hygiene nightmare.”

Leohi glared at him. “I fear, perhaps, that you are not taking this situation entirely seriously, brother. Over the last two solar days, my guardsmen have established the presence of nearly two dozen distinct species within our borders, quite apart from fae and humans! We are a minority in our own paradise, Aino! Have you the slightest conception of just how much you have jeopardised everything!?”

“I was merely attempting to do what was best for the national football team,” he replied calmly. “To give them supporters worthy of the name…”

“Have you gone completely insane?! Do you honestly believe that our entire state should revolve around your precious football team?!”

“Yes. Of course. This is the case in Candelaria And Marquez, is it not? Or Starblaydia, or so many of the other lands I have come to admire…”

“Aino, I am building a new future for our race in this town! It belongs to us! Not…” She shuffled angrily through the papers on her desk. “Not korred or mannegishi or pillywiggins! What in the name of Kulonu is a pillywiggin?!”

“I would not like to hazard a guess at this juncture, sister. But it shall be fun finding out!”

“This is our home, Aino! Whatever mad visions of a multispecies utopia you may have floating around your head, I did not risk sacrificing our entire way of life to see our new land become dominated by volatile foreigners! Open your eyes, brother! Already your venture has seen this town become a mess of ghettos after barely a week!”

The faerie oppiste frowned. “Are they the ones with the sticky toes and removable tails?”

“No, Aino, that would be geckos. They posses many fine qualities, I hear, but very few of them have wings or undermine the structural integrity of the High Street by mining underneath. You have had your fun, Aino. They appear to have helped your little team make your big tournament. And now I want them to leave.”

“Oh, they will be, I should hope!”

Leohi relaxed slightly. “Thank the gods for that…”

“We shall need a travelling support at the World Cup, after all! We cannot rely on apathetic fae to cheer us to victory!”

“You are trying my patience, Aino…”

“I know, dear sister. And yet… I find I do not care. I followed you here, abandoned the elders, our family and any hope of returning to our old lives, because I believed in you. I believed that you could deliver us an earthly realm upon which to start again, to carve out a new Kolani civilization.”

“And now?”

“Your methods are flawed, Leohi. And foolish. You have given us a broken town and expect us to rejoice! You persist in your belief that the presence of the humans must be tolerated in the manner of… of geckos, as though they are too worthless even for servitude!”

“We are superior, Aino!”

“That is a certainty, sister. As surely as I am superior to you, never forget that. I am the highest ranking of this town’s Kolani, Leohi. I have permitted you to rule in my stead, for I respected your power, your vision. I still do. But you are Queen here only because I decree it so!”

“You would be wise indeed not to seek to challenge me, brother. I command more respect than you could ever hope to achieve.”

“You command fear. And even that is confined to the nobility. The lower orders exist in a half-life here, where fear itself holds no dread. It is a way of life for them. You have failed them, Leohi.”

“If you truly believe that they will follow your lead, seek to revolt against their social betters; then you have been spending far too much time in the company of men and floating heads.”

“We shall see. But our new countryfolk stay sister.”

The siblings stared at each other for a handful of seconds, before the Queen turned away. “Very well. But no more! Should any more arrive they shall be turned away! By force, if necessary. I will tolerate your whims for now, but… Not forever.”

He smiled at her. “Oh, I am counting on it, sister.”

Aino marched primly across the room and shut the office door behind him with exaggerated care.

When she was entirely certain that she was alone, the Queen wept.


“…asour, and he’ll find Pappas on the edge of the area here, very little space for the MarquezOW man, he can pull it baaaack…”


“…s far as Raellis, the veteran Marbles star can clear, but it’s onlADAMS!! Danny Adams makes it three, it’s all too easy for C&M now, and…”

“Job well done, I reckon.”

“Bodes well, dunnit? They’re a bloody good defensive side, Taeshan.”

“Nethertopia put three past ‘em as well, to be fair…”

The others groaned. “A bit less in the way of negativity’s in order I reckon, Barry…”

“Just pointing out that we shouldn’t get too carried away…”

“You reckon? I think we should. I reckon getting carried away’s just about all we’ve got lef–”

Tony shut himself up for once, as a polite tap came from the back door. He glanced at the radio.

“Turn it off!”

“Who’d be using that door, anyway? The patrols only use the front entrance normally.”

“I dunno, do I?! Surprise inspection, or summat…”

“You think you ought to get your breadstick ready, Tone? Just in case this turns to fisticuffs?”

“Shut up,” Tony whispered evenly. “Josh, go and open the door, lad.”

“Oh, that’s brave of you.”

“I was thinking they might be a tad more predisposed to being all friendly with some little blond lad. Kind of thing They seem to like… Josh, open the door!”

The boy inched forward and gently pulled it open. A hooded figure slipped swiftly inside without a word, its face obscured but jeans and sensible shoes clearly visible. The room let out a collective sigh of relief.

“Not a good idea to be running about at this time o’ night, mate,” Tony muttered. “You from out in the free streets, or summat? Still hiding away from the ol’ bird flu?”

“Something like that,” Aino sighed, removing his hood. “Put the game back on please, gentlemen. And turn the volume up. There is much for us to discuss…”


The Queen watched.

“I thought it best you were told promptly, your highness. Had I known that you were already keeping an eye on your brother’s movements…”

“No, your suspicion serves you well, Puao.”

“Never the less, to consider a member of the nobility, never mind one such as Lord Aino, capable of such duplicity, it…”

“Do not give it another moment’s thought, old friend. Whatever your breeding, I fear you are a more worthy Kolani than my sibling shall ever be…”

The Queen sighed deeply and opened her mouth to issue her mentor a proclamation, before something on her desk caught her eye. She smiled.

“Puao, you know this town better than I… Are you aware of Field Hill?”

“Indeed. A small, traditional nest of streets near the old harbour. Perhaps… twenty minutes walk from here?”

“Superb. Fetch me my coat, dear friend. I wish to see a man about a dog…”
Candelaria And Marquez
20-05-2009, 13:21
“…ormous trees, flying monsters, ‘Swedish birds with transparent backs’ – I believe they’re using ‘birds’ in the colloquial sense, there – camels…”


“Possibly one camel seen from various different angles, we’re still open to that interpretation… Er, balls of light wobbling about all over the place… Oh, and a hobgoblin.”

“A hobgoblin,” the President echoed flatly.

“Yup. Called Timothy, apparently. He’s cuddled up next to the Aga and is refusing to budge. We’ve taken the family in on suspicion of carbon monoxide poisoning until we can exorcise him.”

“Right. And this is where again, Jenny?”

The Minister for Remedial Teaching glanced at her notes. “Makeham. Isolated village in GBC’s outskirts. Thoroughly middle-class, I’m afraid, so inbreeding’s a no-no, but I suppose long periods of time away from civilisation can mess up even the most refined of minds.”

“And you really think people will go for that?”

“In the current climate of nationwide suspicion? No, not a hope. But while we keep feeding the line to the left-field press that there’s a more serious medical emergency than mere avian flu at play in GBC and Green Island alike, that should remain the popular conspiracy du jour. Giant walking trees and hobgoblins are a bit of a stretch even for your Mary Magdalene enthusiasts. I’ve got to stress though, Robyn, this isn’t just about Makeham. These things have been reported in a string of small towns and villages in the area. They’re clearly not confining themselves to GBC itself.”

“Then we expand the exclusion zone, yes?”

“We’d need to at least double the Queendom’s territory to take in all the affected villages, General,” Jenny replied coldly, “Where exactly does it stop? Even if most of the creatures are directly under the fae government’s control – and at this stage that’s purely speculation – who says they won’t start sniffing around Doggett, or Dudley? And then maybe it’s Bulent, or Dyce? Perhaps they’ll hop over to Blackwell Island, or they’ll see Albrecht as their next targ–”

“I’m sure General Ermenault gets the point, Jenny,” Morton said serenely.

“The point Ms Harris is making, Roberta,” Tate Sayfritz, the Foreign Minister and leader of the Conservative party, offered stoutly, “And it’s one I happen to agree with most sincerely, is how much of Candelaria are we actually willing to hand over to these, and I use the word extremely loosely, people, just to keep them quiet? They’ve already invited at least several thousand of their friends to join the party!”

“We don’t know that that’s the case, Tate. One camel does not an invasion force make.”

“The reports from inside the town are perfectly clear. We’ve all seen pictures of that football match. And our contacts on the inside insist that there’s a positive surfeit of ugly little men and ridiculously attractive women, and while I can just about pass over the former the latter does not sound like Gordon Bay City’s usual populace to me. The bloody faeries are bad enough, but…”

Jenny nodded in fervent agreement. “Trust me when I say this, Robyn. I may be no expert, but I know a darn sight more about these sorts of creatures than any of the rest of you. Capricious is the watchword for the day. Perfectly pleasant the one minute, and murderous bastards the next. They’ve no respect for law – lore, quite possibly, but not human regulations and I very much doubt faerie ones either – and if they believe a parcel of land is their rightful territory they’ll take it, and bugger the consequences.”

“And so they’re different from humans, how?” Morton murmured.

“Glib truisms aside, Robyn? Very. The deep-downers at the M.O.R.T. have been poring over the reports from both inside and outside GBC. They’ve pretty sure they’ve identified species known… vaguely, I should stress… to us as Seligen, Thusser, Salvani, Corrandonnets, Gnomes, the hobgoblin, obviously, and the camels, Skogsnufvar, Pillywiggins…”

“What the hell are Pillywiggins?”

“The point is, Robyn, they’re bad news… the lot of them. Especially if they’ve been turned against us by the fae already. And I’m in agreement with Tate’s attitude on this, even if you and our brave boys, General, would prefer a more hesitant approach. If we don’t get rid of them now, by whatever means necessary, then at best they’re going to be our very own Candelariasian herpes. At worst? They’re going to be spending the next few years worrying how to properly dispose of us!”

There was a polite cough from the back of the cabinet office. Morton sighed.

“Yes, Nolan?”

“Just thought I’d raise the point that there’s the football to worry about as well…”

“Football? What’s football got to do with any of this?” Morton growled, making – one might suggest – a really very valid point.

“Well, they’ve qualified, haven’t they? Gordon Bay City…”

The President’s eyes bulged. “They have?”

“I did leave you a memo…”

“But that’s… that’s awful. We’ve qualified as well, I take it?”

“Oh yes,” the Minister for Sport said proudly, “Unbeaten as well. Looked just a bit touch and go towards the end, mind you, and we were awfully lucky to scrape the three points over at the old Sen-La-Sa~o Relekhati, frankly. Amey should never have been given that penalty and it was a poor finish from Spooner in any case, and yer robot fella very nearly got a hand to it, an–”

“Mr Parker…”

“Um, yes. They qualified. Top of the group, as it goes. Defensively they’re awfully strong, I mean that floating head’ll get on the team of the tournament, you mark my wor–”

“Mr Parker!”

“Sorry. So, er, yes. One in eight chance of us being drawn in the same group. One in four of being in the same half of the draw. Although the fact they’re there at all is bad enough.”

“For the record, Robyn,” Jenny piped up again, “We’ve been calling them Zemyzha Myzhent wherever possible. Thankfully the coverage of their group games was pretty much limited to the National Reporter and Jewish Daily News, and naturally their actual name, never mind origins, weren’t mentioned, but… Editing every single foreign mention of them – television, newspapers, internet… That’s going to take up resources the Ministry simply can’t spare at the moment!”

“Take anyone and everyone you need, Jenny. Siphon off half the Home Office, if needs be.”

“Could we not just pull out?” Sayfritz wondered vaguely.

Morton nodded. “For once, it looks like we agree. Don’t make those faces, everyone, it’s in the country’s best interests!”

“It’s politically impossible, is what it is! At any time, never mind while we’re reigning champions!”

“Are we? I don’t believe anyone’s mentioned that in the past five minutes.”

“If we came up with some suitably spurious reason, though… Can we not just say that the hosts are a bunch of big baddies and we don’t want to legitimise their regimes by travelling? It’s probably pointies again, in any case.”

“It’s Ad’ihan and Kelssek, Tate” Parker muttered coldly. “Y’know the ones we like? That we trumpet as model democracies? That we have embassy exchanges with an’ everything?”

“Yes, alright, point made…”

“If nothing else,” the Secretary of State for Climate & Energy mentioned, for want of something to say, “a World Cup campaign should prove a valuable distraction fo–”

“We don’t need a distraction!” Jenny exclaimed suddenly, bounding to her feet. “I’m sick and tired of distractions! We need to liberate our people, take back Gordon Bay, flush out the bloody pillywiggins and all the rest…! Damn it Robyn, whatever happened to the Candelarias’ Iron Lady?”

“That’s not a sobriquet I was ever entirely comfortable with…”

“Where’s your bloody ‘aspiration’, woman!? Where’s your iron will to do what is necessary? This is why you were elected, Robyn, and right now you’re failing miserably in the one and only duty of government – to keep our people safe! How the hell do you sleep at night knowing what our citizens inside the Queendom might be going through? Or what the fae could do to us any time they choose!? How does it feel knowing that you’re going to be remembered as the most disastrous President this country’s ever had?”

“Are you quite done, Jenny?”

“No! No, I’m damn well not! I don’t care what it takes, Robyn. Make a deal with the Vanorians, if you have to –”

“No! This is not their concern. I won’t have this country turned into another vassal state of the Commonwealth while we still have a leg to stand on ourselves. Candelariasian solutions to Candelariasian challenges, Jenny!”

“Isn’t that a Unionist Party slogan?”

“Er… Yes, now you come to mention it…”

“And isn’t that a funny thing? Because I’m sure President Anderson wouldn’t have sat back at let this happen!”

“If you’re hankering to cross the floor, Jenny, you know where the door is.”

“Oh my God, you still want to make this about me, you daft bitch?!”

“You’re doing a perfectly good job of that yourself! I can’t just think about your son, Jenny, there’s so much more at stake that than!”

The Minister swallowed, and shut her eyes. “I’m leaving. Now… before I kill someone I regret…”

“I think that’s probably for the best.”

The cabinet watched her depart in stony silence. Morton took a sip of water and rested her head on her hands. “Well… I always a robust exchange of ideas helps clear the air, don’t you? General, order the evacuation of all communities within one mile of the border, and enlarge the exclusion zone. So…” The President coughed nervously. “I don’t believe we got around to discussing the proposed hosepipe ban the other day, did we?”
Queer Poco el Mono Ara
20-05-2009, 14:08
After the 4-0 friendly demolition at the hands of Dancougar the chairman was looking for rapid improvement. It may have been Poco’s first ever international game, but his vision of the future was not reflected in the performance.

“Fortunately for you, you are interim, caretaker, part-time and this kind of result will not be a regular occurrence.” said the chairman, glaring in Mick McConaghey’s direction. McConaghey had been briefly put in charge of the Queer Poco el Mono Ara’s national football team while a full time coach was appointed. He had many years managerial practice and should have felt privileged to lead his national side, but being here on a temporary basis only made him feel a little sick. He was Queer Poco’s inaugural national coach and would be remembered as the first ever… even if he only ever coached the team for one unsuccessful friendly match.

“Now, you must tackle the media and explain how you plan to address the short comings that were present in your choice of tactics and which players underperformed”

McConaghey knew that this public dress down of his players was another part of the chairman’s plan to ridicule him. There were various stages to the humiliation of a once respected manager. Firstly making him an interim coach while they found a suitable man for the job, secondly, the constant berating of him in meetings and now this, after Queer Poco’s first ever international match McConaghey had been instructed to “slate” his players to the media. And he would. His reputation would only be marginally damaged by this, but what the chairman of the F.A knew about him, well, that could ruin his entire life. McConaghey had become the chairman’s puppet, much like Raul Marquez* and was under constant pressure from the chairman to please him.

“McConaghey” the chairman sneered as he was leaving his office “We’ve heard back from one of the shortlist managers, so try make this final press conference go with a bang.”

*Assistant to the chairman
22-05-2009, 05:20
Fromburg Free Press
World Cup 46 Coverage

THE Fromburg Free Press PRESENTS


Marie Goya: World Cups 27-30.
Sherlene Scheppe: World Cups 39-40.
Yancy Fry: World Cups 35-38.
Fernando Turek: World Cups 31-32. (Head Coach World Cups 33-36 and WC44 qualifiers)
Anderson Tarricone: World Cups 39-42.
Anthony Mason: World Cups 27-30.
Alicia “Speedy” Gonzalez: World Cups 27-30.


Qazox' First World Cup Win. (3-2 win against Wentland on MD1 of World Cup 33)
THE BOSTOPIAN SCREW-JOB. (1-3 loss at home on final day of World Cup 29 qualifying)
Qazox' first World Cup Game. (2-2 draw w/ New Montreal States during World Cup 31)
Qazox' largest victory. (10-1 win vs. Assegai Developments during World Cup 31 qualifiers)
Qazox' Round of 16 win over Cafundéu. (2-1 win during World Cup 41)
Qazox' first ever international game and win. (1-0 win against Atheistic Right @ Baptism of Fire 14)
Qazox' first ever World Cup Qualification win. (2-0 win vs. Dorian and Sonya)

We will reveal the top three moments and players during the 46th edition of the World Cup. Who will be the best player in team history and what is the biggest moment in team history?
22-05-2009, 06:43
Host announcement

The draw has been postponed for 24 hours and will now take place at 1500 UTC, Saturday 23 May, as the draw requires post-qualifying ranks which have not yet been tabulated.
23-05-2009, 16:36
World Cup 46 group stage draw
The draw for the group stage of World Cup 46 was held at the National Convention Centre in City of Ad’ihan, Ad’ihan. Ad’ihan were automatically placed as the first seed in group A and Kelssek as the first seed in group E, with the remaining teams placed in four pots (six in pot 1, eight in pots 2, 3 and 4). Teams from pot 1 and 2 were automatically placed as the first and second teams in their groups, while teams from pots 3 and 4 were drawn into one of the remaining two places at random. Groups A–D will be played in Ad’ihan, and groups E–H in Kelssek.

Pot 1: Valanora, Candelaria And Marquez, Cafundéu, Starblaydia, The Holy Empire, Bostopia
Pot 2: Sorthern Northland, Daehanjeiguk, Dancougar, Vephrall, Kura-Pelland, Capitalizt SLANI, The Archregimancy, Jasī'yūn
Pot 3: Lovisa, Jeru FC, Septentrionia, Qazox, Rennidan, Bears Armed, Prux, Bazalonia
Pot 4: Peisandros, Kosovoe, Taeshan, Newmanistan, Sarzonia, Cassadaigua, The Macabees, Gordon Bay City

Group A
Jeru FC

MD1: Ad’ihan v. Newmanistan: Protectorate Stadium, City of Ad’ihan (WC46 opening game)
MD1: Daehanjeiguk v. Jeru FC: Stade des Îles, City of Ad’ihan
MD2: Newmanistan v. Jeru FC: Stade des Îles, City of Ad’ihan
MD2: Ad’ihan v. Daehanjeiguk: Bridge Road, Oldbridge
MD3: Daehanjeiguk v. Newmanistan: Bridge Road, Oldbridge
MD3: Ad’ihan v. Jeru FC: Protectorate Stadium, City of Ad’ihan

Group B

MD1: Starblaydia v. Prux: Tallyn Ground, Dalinn
MD1: Kura-Pelland v. Peisandros: The Beachfront, Navon Beach
MD2: Prux v. Peisandros: DuneDome, Navon Beach
MD2: Starblaydia v. Kura-Pelland: Junction Park, Mountbatten Junction
MD3: Kura-Pelland v. Prux: Junction Park, Mountbatten Junction
MD3: Starblaydia v. Peisandros: DuneDome, Navon Beach

Group C

MD1: Valanora v. Kosovoe: Junction Park, Mountbatten Junction
MD1: Vephrall v. Qazox: DuneDome, Navon Beach
MD2: Qazox v. Kosovoe: Tallyn Ground, Dalinn
MD2: Valanora v. Vephrall: Stadium at South, Modna South
MD3: Vephrall v. Kosovoe: Tallyn Ground, Dalinn
MD3: Valanora v. Qazox: Stadium at South, Modna South

Group D
The Holy Empire
The Archregimancy

MD1: The Holy Empire v. Bazalonia: Athlete Stadium, Dullham
MD1: The Archregimancy v. Taeshan: Bridge Road, Oldbridge
MD2: Bazalonia v. Taeshan: Athlete Stadium, Dullham
MD2: The Holy Empire v. The Archregimancy: Hatton Arena, Hatton
MD3: The Archregimancy v. Bazalonia: Stade des Îles, City of Ad’ihan
MD3: The Holy Empire v. Taeshan: Athlete Stadium, Dullham

A map of Ad’ihan referencing the above cities can be found here (

Group E
Gordon Bay City

MD1: Kelssek v. Gordon Bay City: Exhibition Place, Kirkenes
MD1: Jasīʼyūn v. Septentrionia: Macquarie Docklands Stadium, Latrobe
MD2: Gordon Bay City v. Septentrionia: The Sky Dome, Kirkenes
MD2: Kelssek v. Jasīʼyūn: Commonwealth Stadium, Vickery
MD3: Jasīʼyūn v. Gordon Bay City: Stadium of the Stars, Ulyanov
MD3: Kelssek v. Septentrionia: Parc Desjardins, Dieppe

Group F
Capitalizt SLANI
The Macabees

MD1: Cafundéu v. Lovisa: Konoha Place, Burnaby
MD1: Capitalizt SLANI v. The Macabees: Stadium of the Stars, Ulyanov
MD2: Lovisa v. The Macabees: Macquarie Docklands Stadium, Latrobe
MD2: Cafundéu v. Capitalizt SLANI: Stade Outineau, Outineau
MD3: Capitalizt SLANI v. Lovisa: Canada Stadium, Neorvins
MD3: Cafundéu v. The Macabees: Commonwealth Stadium, Vickery

Group G
Sorthern Northland
Bears Armed

MD1: Bostopia v. Bears Armed: Stade Outineau, Outineau
MD1: Sorthern Northland v. Cassadaigua: Commonwealth Stadium, Vickery
MD2: Bears Armed v. Cassadaigua: Canada Stadium, Neorvins
MD2: Bostopia v. Sorthern Northland: Exhibition Place, Kirkenes
MD3: Sorthern Northland v. Bears Armed: Macquarie Docklands Stadium, Latrobe
MD3: Bostopia v. Cassadaigua: Exhibition Place, Kirkenes

Group H
Candelaria And Marquez

MD1: Candelaria And Marquez v. Rennidan: The Sky Dome, Kirkenes
MD1: Dancougar v. Sarzonia: Canada Stadium, Neorvins
MD2: Rennidan v. Sarzonia: Parc Desjardins, Dieppe
MD2: Candelaria And Marquez v. Dancougar: Konoha Place, Burnaby
MD3: Dancougar v. Rennidan: Stade Outineau, Outineau
MD3: Candelaria And Marquez v. Sarzonia: The Sky Dome, Kirkenes

Stadia information for Kelssek can be found here (

Second round fixtures
winner group A vs runner-up group D: Stade des Îles, City of Ad’ihan
winner group B vs runner-up group C: Athlete Stadium, Dullham
winner group C vs runner-up group B: Junction Park, Mountbatten Junction
winner group D vs runner-up group A: Bridge Road, Oldbridge
winner group E vs runner-up group H: Macquarie Docklands Stadium, Latrobe
winner group F vs runner-up group G: Konoha Place, Burnaby
winner group G vs runner-up group F: Stadium of the Stars, Ulyanov
winner group H vs runner-up group E: Parc Desjardins, Dieppe

Quarterfinal fixtures
winner match 1 vs winner match 2: Tallyn Ground, Dalinn
winner match 3 vs winner match 4: The Beachfront, Navon Beach
winner match 5 vs winner match 6: The Sky Dome, Kirkenes
winner match 7 vs winner match 8: Commonwealth Stadium, Vickery

Semifinal fixtures
winner quarterfinal 1 vs winner quarterfinal 2: Bridge Road, Oldbridge
winner quarterfinal 3 vs winner quarterfinal 4: Canada Stadium, Neorvins

Third place match
loser semifinal 1 vs loser semifinal 2: Protectorate Stadium, City of Ad’ihan, Ad’ihan

winner semifinal 1 vs winner semifinal 2: Stade Outineau, Outineau
23-05-2009, 17:06
For a World Cup manager whose team was just sent to battle the defending World Cup champions, Franz Braddock was remarkably sanguine.

Team captain Ben Davis was anything but.

"We're screwed," he said. "And we don't even get lube."

The Stars drew Group H for their first World Cup finals appearance since Mark Wingate directed the World Cup XXX side. They would face defending World Cup champions Candelaria and Marquez in their final match of the World Cup finals group stage. They would lead off with a fixture against Dancougar, the 10th ranked team in the world.

Between those two was a match against the No. 25 team Rennidan. The Stars gridball team were used to facing the Brutes, but the Stars footballers only had one previous meeting, an unimpressive 2:2 draw despite the Brutes fielding only five field players. The Stars would have their first encounters with Candelaria and Marquez and Dancougar in senior World Cup football action.

"The path is not easy," Braddock said. "Nothing that's worth doing in life is. It's a tough draw, but we can't go into it with a defeatist attitude or we'll have no chance."

"We respect our opponents, but once I'm done training the lads, we won't fear them," he added, pointing out that Sarzonia faced Valanora back when the world's No. 1 team were two-time defending World Cup champions coming off their third World Cup title in four tries.

Even though that Stars side were unranked and were widely expected to be slaughtered, they earned a 2:2 draw at Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium in Woodstock. More impressively, they earned a hard-fought 3:3 draw in Valanora. The Stars actually led 2:3 late in the match before those accursed elves equalised, spoiling Sarzonia's bid for an historic upset and shock World Cup finals appearance.

"It does us no good to be afraid of any of the teams we face," said Matt Lynch, the forward who was arguably the biggest star of the Stars. "They've done well to earn a spot in Kelssek. We've done well to earn a spot in Kelssek. Now it's time to get ready to face these teams."

What kind of challenges will Dancougar present? They're the 10th ranked team in the world, but the Stars have held their own against highly ranked teams in their new past. They defeated then-No. 11 The Han Empire in Woodstock in just their second match in World Cup XLIV qualifying. They defeated the world's fifth ranked team The Holy Empire, the team that lost to Candelaria and Marquez in the World Cup XLV final by one goal at home before losing by one goal away.

"If we're going to shock the football world, we're going to have to get started now," said goalkeeper Cody Taylor, who expressed relief when Braddock said his team would tighten up on defence somewhat. The Stars defence conceded 14 goals in 10 qualifying matches. More troubling, however, was the team's 13 goals conceded in five friendlies. Granted, all but one of the matches featured a team that also made it to the World Cup finals, but Braddock said he was disappointed with the team's lack of effort in friendlies.

"You want good focus no matter the situation," Braddock said. "However, I'm trying to get the lads to treat their matches in the Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy series [with the same intensity] as World Cup finals matches. We have yet to win more than one match in that tournament in three tries. This is disturbing."

Even so, Braddock demonstrated quick understanding of what that tournament was all about.

"I know I shouldn't obsess over victory or defeat in a charity tournament," he said. "Especially since no matter who 'wins' the trophy, the real winner is cancer research. However, it'd be nice to bring that trophy back for our home supporters."

The Stars may not bring back anything from their three-match sojurn in Kelssek. They might make their stay a little bit longer if Margaret continues to smile on them. But to a player, this Stars team will enjoy the ride.

"Qualifying for the Finals in our third qualifying campaign is a major accomplishment. That's not lost on us," said forward Reese Nichols. "We don't want to fall victim to the trap of being the team that's simply happy to be here. We want to do some damage while we're here."

"Figuratively," said forward Zack Wilson. "We don't want the [Incorporated Football Federation] to worry about footing the bill for destroyed hotel rooms in Kelssek."

The remark drew great laughter from the Stars training facility near Marshall Stadium. Even reporter Travis West couldn't stifle a laugh.

They may not win. But they will have fun.
23-05-2009, 19:09
Meghan’s Space

It’s time for the World Cup and it’s so great to be back! When we made World Cup 45 as a first time nation, a lot of us were just happy to be there and to represent our country in the world’s greatest show. We went out to get a grande total of zero points in our three games, and at the time we felt we could live with it. It wasn’t what we wanted to accomplish, but I believe that all of us just looked at it as being ok in the end. Now, things are different. We have been through it before, so when we play our first game we aren’t going to be distracted by the big stage that we will be competing on. We will not be in awe of our opponents. We’re not going to be predicted by most outsiders to advance, but that’s ok. How many of those same outsiders predicted that the teams to qualify out of Group 7 would be Cassadaigua and Gordon Bay City when it all began? We don’t want people to look at us and think, “it could have been Jeruselem or Milchama in the show instead of them”. No. We want them thinking, “so that’s why they knocked out the Princesses and the Warriors.” Getting zero points will not be accepted this time, we are here to get points and get wins. We have a team that can do it.

The Group Draw came out a little while ago, and we are still looking over it, but it appears as though we are heading to Group G, and our games are in Kelssek. You might want to leave the tank tops and short skirts at home, because temperatures are very cold there. There, we will meet Bears Armed, and we will remember them quite well. We beat them in a mid-qualifying friendly by the score of 3-0. Things will be much different, but if we can do it before, we can do it again. The Bears are big and tough, but they can be beaten. Hopefully though, they don’t get back at Jennifer Lowry for her “you hit like a cub” taunts during that game. The other two teams in this group seem as though they have a pretty good rivalry with one another, that being Bostopia and Sorthern Northland. They participated in some charity vase friendly thing against one another. It’s nice that group G is so charitable isn’t it? They play for a vase, and we did the Charity Cup as a prep tournament. The Bears, well, we’re sure they are good ursines at heart as well. If I recall, they considered the Charity Cup as well. We have no experience with Bostopia, but we have a Di Bradini meeting with Sorthern Northland in our history. I feel that we can advance out of this group. Seriously, let’s go get them!
24-05-2009, 04:26
Dancougar News!!
Cardiac 'Canes on life support. Booyah.

Champions await Wings in group stage: It will be a convergence of the old and new in Group H, where Dancougar will meet defending champions Candelaria and Marquez after tackling World Cup 22 champions Sarzonia in their opener. Rennidan rounds out the group, a nation with which Dancougar is most familiar with on the gridiron.

There are a number of ways one can analyze the group, but manager Shigeru Takeuchi says that only one metric matters. "At this stage, all teams have proven their quality just by qualifying," he said. "There's no such thing as an easy game from this point on. We have a good idea of what we're up against and there's nothing left to do but stick to our gameplan."

However, it must be pointed out that if qualification form is to serve as a basis for group analysis, then it does not favor Dancougar. The Wings had the worst performance out of all the teams in Group H, finishing with only 21 points from ten games and just 18 goals scored. They were taken to the wire by unranked Silexhera and required a five-game winning streak to poke their head above the cutoff. Hardly championship form for a team ranked tenth in the world.

Lineup changes by Takeuchi have served the team well, though. The midfield assembled so carefully with attacking players took the pitch and fired a series of duds, as poor teamwork and dull tactics resulted in only four goals from their first five qualifying games. With frustration building, Takeuchi delved into his reserves and selected players who were more suitable for supporting roles. He also experimented with Lillian DaCosta up front, but as it turned out, the midfield turned out to be the clog in the drain after all.

"The best defense is an offense that controls the ball," said Takeuchi. "And we had that in almost every game. You look at the possession and it comes up something like 55-45 or 60-40. But all that possession is useless if you can't come up with the final pass or can't put a quality cross into the box. We were doing everything but generate quality scoring chances."

The results were immediate. After failing to score against Bears Armed and the Landau Institute in the first half of qualifying, they ran rampant in the second with 4-1 and 7-2 wins, respectively. Stefan Rosberg was the biggest beneficiary of the changes, netting four goals in the two matches. With the defense holding steady throughout the entire ten-match span, ceding only six goals, it appeared like Takeuchi had found the solution.

"It was frustrating that we couldn't do what we wanted offensively," said Rosberg, whose five goals this cycle are a big step down from his dynamic debut in World Cup 45, where he had ten in all competitions. "We knew that we had goals in us."

Whether or not they do will be made clear by the team's performance in the group stage of the World Cup itself, where they will immediate face a stiff challenge from Franz Braddock's Sarzonia. The team played a tough friendly schedule in the Mike Sarzo Cup against the likes of Krytenia, Starblaydia, and Taeshan. Although they finished last in that mini-tournament, they'll be far more prepared than the Wings, whose only preparation for the tournament was an embarrassingly easy win against non-starters Queer Poco el Mono Ara.

More impressive is Sarzonia's rapid re-ascension into the world scene. They have two appearances in the final itself, with a victory in World Cup 22 and a loss two cups later. After a long absence, they attempted to qualify for World Cup 44 and managed to draw then-No. 1 Valanora twice by a combined 5-5 scoreline, providing a tantalizing glimpse of what was to come. The Wings, by contrast, have never managed a point against a No. 1 team, although their penalty-shootout victory over then-No. 2 Bostopia sparked a run to third place in World Cup 43.

"They're a team with a strong history, and this new team seems to be feeding off that legacy," said goalkeeper Artur Komarov. "They'll be confident against us and we'll have to match that."

It will be the first-ever meeting between Dancougar and Sarzonia at any level. The Wings have played Rennidan four times, winning all four. They've met Candelaria and Marquez in the group stages of Di Bradini Cup 8 and World Cup 44 and drew both.

Schiermeier making most of opportunity: During light warmups on a practice field in Kelssek, 22-year-old midfielder John Schiermeier grabbed a football and began juggling. There didn't seem to be any point to the drill other than to have fun. Watching him bounce the ball off his shoulders with a boyish smile, one would never suspect that those shoulders were carrying the heavy weight of an entire franchise.

"I try not to think about things like that when I'm on the field," said Schiermeier. "It's so much easier to play a game when you're not worrying about what the results mean."

Schiermeier, though, doesn't have that luxury at Teknika Schlieffen, which joined the D-League as an expansion team two seasons ago. He was chosen with the first overall pick in the college draft following a strong performance at Di Bradini Cup 9 in which he scored three goals to help Dancougar advance to the knockout stage. But Schlieffen's bid to purchase an international fell through, and the rookie was put in charge of a team built out of players discarded by the other clubs for the expansion draft. The results have not been pretty. The team finished dead last in the league in its first season and has lost 40 of its first 76 matches.

Yet Schiermeier has remained upbeat and has called the struggle necessary for his development as a player. He had a much easier time during his school days. He helped his high school make the Lunarossa state playoffs four years in a row, with a title coming in his junior year. He was recruited by several top schools, including local Shadyside Academy, but he accepted an athletic scholarship from the Royal Academy in Yuki City, where he partnered with forward Justin Sellick to guide his team to a pair of Yuki Collegiate Premier League titles.

After getting knocked out in the quarterfinals of the 2039 spring tournament, Schiermeier joined Sellick on the national U-23 team for Di Bradini Cup 9, where his impressive play earned rave reviews from D-League scouts, which contributed to his decision to declare for the draft before his junior season.

"I was starting to get a taste for higher competition even before the Di Bradini Cup, having to play against champions in the college tournament," said Schiermeier. "I felt like I would be able to get better much faster if I was exposed to that kind of competition regularly, so that helped guide my decision to enter the draft." But no one was more surprised than Schiermeier when Schlieffen made him the number one pick.

By getting an opportunity to start the majority of Schlieffen's games and by getting thrust into a leadership role, Schiermeier grew much faster than rookies typically do. His play attracted attention from the FA, who recommended him to Shigeru Takeuchi for national team consideration. Initially, Schiermeier was deemed an afterthought in a midfield Takeuchi thought was brimming with goalscorers, but after their well-documented struggles in qualifying, Schiermeier was given a shot with the first team.

Sharp passes, physical challenges, and overall intelligent play have kept him in the lineup. Goals against the Landau Institute and in a friendly with Queer Poco el Mono Ara cemented his place in the starting lineup. It's a dream come true for Schiermeier, but he says it's only the beginning.

"Obviously my goal is to keep getter better," he said. "I'd love to be mentioned up there with guys like Dylandy and Morimoto, and the best way to do that is to help my team win games."
24-05-2009, 04:33
World Cup 46 Qualification - Group 12 (Q) 1st
PRQ: vs 1-0 [99] Norwellia (@ Sanhaemun Football Stadium, Cheonjin - 60,000)
MD1: vs 4-1 [24] Jeru FC (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira - 55,000)
MD2: @ 1-0 [84] Kagdazka (@ kak po russky...?)
MD3: vs 5-1 [110] The Bear Islands (@ Potala, Lasa - 34,000)
MD4: @ 4-1 [132] Threetime (@ Triple Trisomy?)
MD5: vs 1-0 [57] Quintessence of Dust (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong - 150,000)
MQ: @ [33] 2-3 Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colesseum - a lot of small people)
MD6: @ 3-3 [24] Jeru FC (@ barbarians' hut)
MD7: vs 7-0 [84] Kagdazka (@ Silk Road Stadium, Seoan - 56,000)
MD8: @ 0-0 [110] The Bear Islands (@ GAH! BARS! ... oh, that's bears, nvm...)
MD9: vs 3-1 [132] Threetime (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong - 65,000)
MD10: @ 1-2 [57] Quintessence of Dust (@ Arena of Dreams, Nowy Orpington - at least there isn't any trash here)
PTQ: 1-1 vs Sarzonia (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium, Hangyeong - 200,000)
World Cup 46 - Group A
MD1: vs [20] Jeru FC (@ Stade des Îles, Ad’ihan - 92,000)
MD2: vs [14] Ad'ihan (@ Bridge Road, Oldbridge - 64,000)
MD3: vs [33] Newmanistan (@ Bridge Road, Oldbridge - 64,000)
R32: ??? (@ ??? - ###)

*** Samseong HQ ***

The CEO woke up to find a polished gentleman sitting in his chair. Where'd Santa go? Why was he here? Did they finish the contract? How much in taxes did he accrue by passing out?

"I am Sílvio Santos, Director of Finance at Banco Econômico!"

"Gah!" the CEO cried.

"It's okay. I don't there's a tax on that one yet."

"On what?"

"On panicking upon waking up. But there is a tax on asking questions."


"There's also a tax for agreeing with me."

The CEO astutely kept his mouth shut. Santos quickly worked out all of the paperwork that Santa had already pre-arranged (for a fee, and as always, fees carry taxes). It was quick business what Santos and the CEO did, so much so that the CEO tried to delay the proceedings so he wouldn't pay the get-done-quick tax. Of course, that was to be balanced by the wasting-time tax too...

"Well, it's been a pleasure working with you, and I hope that you make lots and lots of money from this new deal!" Santos said before he disappeared through the doors. He popped his head in the door just once more before leaving completely. "Oh, and don't forget our campaign tax!"

"For what?" the CEO nonchalantly asked.

"You'll see!" Santos said. The CEO heaved a breath of relief, finally. Finally, they were done! And news that Samseong had bought the Macabees for 8 billion weon (15.3 billion USD) was still bothering him - the fact that the secretary of all people suggested offering the same thing to Newmanistan upset him a bit. But not that he could change things now; the money was sent, and now the Han would have to face against the very same people that he had just paid to play footy. The world had a very cruel sense of irony.

"Sir!" a man said, rushing into the office. "I've been waiting a long time to tell you this, sir, but I've discovered something really really really important about Wuseong!"

"Not right now. I need several doses of aspirin to cure my head."

"Sir!" the man said, imploring the CEO to listen. "This is critical information! We could save a ton of money!"

"Oh... alright... what is it?"

"Wuseong isn't real!"


The man said it again. "Wuseong isn't real/I]!"

"How is that possible?" the CEO asked. "They were competing with our markets! They had superior products! They had everything! How can they be not real?"

"Well, we did some searches to find out that Wuseong was founded by this foreign country we didn't recognize. No one else recognized it either, so we did another search on this country. It seems that some dork in Bigtopia made up a fake country that looks eerily a lot like ours on some Internet website. And that country has some company that looks a lot like ours, called Wuseong. None of it was real! At all!"

"You mean..."

"We've paid some pay-off to buy this company that doesn't even exist."

There were times when the CEO would turn instantly mad and start to throw random things out his window. It was a tumultuous moment when he would transition from the rather amiable fellow who could shake anyone's hands to the monstrous sociopath. And just then, hearing that news on top of everything else, he snapped. And instantly, the windows broke and the man flew out, falling onto that giant net that was designed to save people like him - shamelessly and helplessly caught by the CEO's tantrum. It was in that moment that Sílvio Santos came back into the room.

"There's a tax for that too..."

So A SLANI Elven White-Flag-Waving Terrorist Walks From A Kosher Bar...

AD'IHAN - And... it's that time again. And we're facing Jeru FC. Again. Again, we're forced to face a team from the Group Stage that we particularly don't want to face, but have to anyway. And again, we're facing Ad'ihan. And again, we're facing Newmanistan. And if we manage to get out of this mess, we get the lovely pleasure of facing either Bazalonia, Taeshan, the Archregimancy, or the Holy Empire in the next round. Again, I might add. Some of these people will be first-time visitors. Newmanistan has never been to the World Cup, and the Han have never played against Taeshan, The Archregimancy, or Jeru FC in the World Cup. But like always, there's always some nemesis to fend off. And we don't like it at all.

And Ioshido Toki's recent 1-1 draw against Sarzonia at the largest stadium that we could dare to put up for a venue, they got a draw in what was perhaps a brilliant performance by another WC debutant but more certainly a sub-par performance by an otherwise star-studded side. And you expect us to do the same against Ad'ihan? Oh, that's going to be a real kicker, especially since we've only ever won one match against them. And Jeru FC - sure we've had our fair share of beating them, but they got a draw in the Group Stage! How can we expect to fare against them in the WC itself? And Newmanistan - for crying out loud, we're paying for them to play against us? How stupid are we?

Well, it's Ioshido's charge to get our boys into the next round, and somehow reach the semifinals. And in order for that to happen, we must not let any of the following events occur:

Lose to Jeru FC;
Lose to Ad'ihan;
Lose to Newmanistan;
Lose to the opponent in the next round;
Lose to the opponent in the round after that;
Play to PKs (we will lose);
Play to tiebreakers (we will lose).

A simple list, and I can bet that Ioshido Toki will find some way to play to these rules established and still fail to qualify. Well, thankfully, he's said that it's his last World Cup with the Han, win or lose, and finally, we'll get to stop blaming him for losing all of these games and whatever. Besides that... we'll be happy to blame someone else for not doing a good enough job to satisfy the crazy people. In the meantime, he's got three games at a minimum where we will be bashing him for every wrong move that he makes, ranging fully from the choice of substitutions to the choice of dinner utensils he makes (and personally, he shouldn't have used the salad fork at that last one when a good pair of chopsticks could have sufficed!). But hopefully, the list of things that we'll choose to pick against the man is small, because he'll win the World Cup! Of course, more likely is the story that we'll actually burn a huge dummy doll of Ioshido, bidding him good luck with the next team that accepts him and bidding him good riddens! Sure, we're an ungrateful lot, but we do a fine job at it.

[I]Goal Scorers
12 - Jeong Jihun
8 - Kim Mihyeon
4 - Baek Jihun
2 - Mun Seongmyeong, Pak Yongho
1 - Kim Gwangseok, Kim Yongji, Shin Ganyak, An Pilrip, Hui Yongjun
Elves Security Forces
24-05-2009, 04:46
Valanora Times
The Game Begins

Seven games over a period of thirty days. That is the dream scenario for the Marauders and their supporters. In completing that dream scenario, Valanora would become tied with the nations of Rejistania, Bedistan, and Starblaydia atop the history books with four championships in the World Cup. It's an honor for any player to have even made it to the dream Final of a World Cup, but to win it is elation. What then is the repeated success over a period of time that would see a handful of players on the Marauder squad win their four title? What even drives a player once they have won the competition not once, but on multiple occasions? That is the question that must give the Starblaydi manager fits every night, as he is charged with the task of making the most out of Valanora's best. Kuu has done it all as a player and nearly everything as a manager. He has won domestic league and cup titles, won the World Cup himself, and even lead the Raynor City United side to a place in the record books with his first year as a manager. For all his success though, what would make him an international legend would be to take this side and win the World Cup.

The first leg of this daunting task is to take place on Barrier Island in Ad'ihan. Mountbatten Junction will play host to the match between the Marauders and the side from Kosovoe. It is expected to be a David vs. Goliath type of match, the very type of matches which have seen numerous upsets in the qualifying stages of this World Cup. Kuu will likely look to use the speed of Razov and va Drake to exploit what some of the experts in the press have called an slow and complacent backline from the Kosovoe side. On their on defense, it has improved greatly under the tutorship of the Starblaydi, but have still been prone to a soft goal now and again. Durosa and Soldarian will have to be solid forces in the middle to help slow down the attack of Kosovoe when they do venture forward from their own half. Despite the various dangers that they present, the Marauders should walk away from the encounter with three points in hand and one foot into the Round of Sixteen.

Things become quite the more tricky on matchday two, as the Marauders will get reacquainted with their longtime friends in Vephrall. The Vephrese have been remarkably quiet during their run in to the group stages, not giving much information out on their results through the media for their opposition to learn from. The Vephrese are known for their strong midfielders, sportsmanship, and never say die attitude. It is this match that will prove to be the most dangerous for the Marauders, and a victory will be hard to come by. At the very least, to ease the pressures of the last matchday encounter, the squad will have to come away with at least a draw. With the revamped backline, and an explosive attack as ever, they should be able to achieve that outcome.

With the potential four points in their side, the Marauders can head into the last matchday fixture with Qazox looking to just take the draw and their place in the next round. For all of the time they have both been in the World Cup, the sides have only ever met twice, with the most recent result having the Marauders coming up the better side to the tune of a three to two scoreline on the last matchday of group play in World Cup 42, seeing the Marauders forward and the Oxen eliminated. If results go according to plan, it should be the same exact scenario for the Navy, Black, and Green, with the same result highly expected. The side has not earned the number one rank by merely resting on their laurels, but by taking the initiative. I just have my doubts that the Qazox side can handle all the attacking options the Marauders can throw out there for an entire ninety minutes, and three points should be easy to come by. With the projected advancement, the side will likely be facing either Starblaydia or Kura-Pelland in the next round. Both of these matchups would prove very interesting, but for now, the focus should remain on the task ahead, grabbing the three points off Kosovoe.

Article by Iauron Celethanelen
24-05-2009, 06:28
Fromburg Free Press
World Cup 46 Coverage


Well might as well start out with Qazox. They have drawn a challenging group (Group C), as they will face Vephrall, Kosovoe and Valanora.

Qazox's ALL-TIME record vs. WC46 Opponents:

vs. Vephrall: 1-0-0 Vephrall
Last Meeting: World Cup 44 MD1 (2-1 Vephrall win)

vs. Kosovoe: tied 1-0-1
Last Meeting: World Cup 45 qualifiers MD9 (3-1 Qazox win)

vs. Valanora/ESF: tied 0-1-0
Last Meeting: World Cup 37 MD2 (1-1 Draw)

Not much history there, but Qazox should be favored over Kosovoe (ranked 31st,) and an underdog to Valanora (ranked #1). So the first match, as it usually seems to be, is the important one. A win over Vephrall, currently ranked 11th in the world could propel Qazox into the next round.

Now for the other 7 groups:

Daehanjeiguk and co-hosts Ad'ihan seemingly might have trouble with Jeru FC, but the favorites will advance, while Newmanistan, making their first appearance, will go home early.

Starblaydia should have little trouble advancing, while Kura-Pelland and Prux renew their battle from the qualifying stage to determine 2nd place. Peisandros could sneak in through the back door, if they can upset K-P or Prux.

On paper, the most intriguing group. The Holy Empire and The Archregimancy winner will take the group, while the loser (if there isn't a draw between them) will finish behind Taeshan. Bazalonia might win the group as well, as all 4 teams seem very evenly matched.

Kelssek, as co-hosts, should advance, as will Jasīʼyūn, but the story of the tourney could be Gordon Bay City's run. If they knock off Kelssek on MD1, then they could advance. Septentrionia is in the perpetual void, good enough to qualify, but not good enough to win. (Doesn't that sound familar?)

This is our GROUP of DEATH. Cafundéu, Capitalizt SLANI and The Macabees will battle for the top two spots with most likely Cafundeu and SLANI coming out on top. As for Lovisa, don't count them out, as they are a very tricky side to play.

Also a very tough group, Group G probably will come down to the final day when Bostopia v. Cassadaigua and Sorthern Northland v. Bears Armed meet. Sorthern Northland, coming off a stunning run 4 years ago, are out to prove that that wasn't a fluke, while the other three teams have the talent to go far this year.

The defending champs, Candelaria And Marquez, will be tested by Dancougar, but both teams should advance over Sarzonia and Rennidan. But don't be suprised if the champs don't get to defend.

Our Pick of World Cup 46 Champions: Cafundéu def. Starblaydia 3-2.
24-05-2009, 11:43
"Ahh sir?"
"We've got the draw in."
"Go on."
"Well it isn't too bad. We've got Prux first up, they're ranked just three spots above us at 27th."
"And have we played them before?"
"No sir, not that I can remember. Next is Kura-Pelland, ranked 12th."
"Ahh, we have played them before haven't we? Last World Cup?"
"Yes, that's right. We lost 1-0 away and got a draw at home."
"That's not too bad then. Who is last?"
"Starblaydia sir."
"Oh a wonderful side! They must be ranked, what, top 5?"
"Yes, 4th infact. We were in their finals group in 44 aswell."
"Ahh I remember that clearly, a 1-0 loss. We weren't too far away."
"That's right sir. So you can see there is a chance we could qualify. We would need to beat either Kura-Pelland or Prux though, and maybe pick up a point against Starblaydia."
"Well, I think that's achievable. Right I'll make a press release congratulating the team tomorrow. Can you set that up?"
"Yes sir, will do. Goodnight."

President Catalinoff checked his watch. 10:34pm. It had been a quiet few weeks, which had come just at the right time. There had been no traveling and publicly just the opening of a school in down-town Olympia. Parliament was quiet too, with several members taking the week off, in what is an unofficial holiday week. He was tired though. The 63yr old had noticed a lot of the energy he once possessed seemed to be slipping away. Usually he thrived during Parliament's sessions, taking notes and talking away. Last week though he fell asleep completely, only to have the Minister of Health nudge him awake. In 22 years of politics it was the first time something like that had happened. With the quiet week this week he had been caught napping every day.

His wife had asked him to see a doctor but he couldn't be bothered. He knew it was just old age. The bones ached that little bit longer in the morning and his hearing wasn't what it used to be either. It was hard to run a country when he felt like he was losing control of his own body, but with just under two years left in his term, there wasn't much that could be done but tough it out. There were decisions to make soon, ones that needed a strong leader. The country needed a strong leader. John Catalinoff just hoped it could be him.

PQ Friendly:
@ Bears Armed 0-1.
Qualifying round one:
MD1: v Australiazia (Peisandros Basin, Delphi.) 5-0.
MD2: v Somewhereistonia (National Sports Arena, Olympia.) 3-1.
MD3: @ Edward City 2-0.
MD4: v Golgothastan (People of Ephesum Stadium, Ephesum.) 4-2.
MD5: @ Sorthern Northland 2-4.
MQ Friendly:
v Quintessence of Dust (Peisandros Basin, Delphi.) 2-0.
Qualifying round two:
MD6: @ Australiazia 5-2.
MD7: @ Somewhereistonia 1-1.
MD8: v Edward City (ATI Stadium, Thasos.) 1-0.
MD9: @ Golgothastan 1-1.
MD10: v Sorthern Northland (National Sports Arena, Olympia.) 1-1.
PQ Friendly:
@ Jeru FC 1-1.
WC Finals:
MD1: v Kura-Pelland (The Beachfront, Navon Beach.)
MD2: v Prux (DuneDome, Navon Beach.)
MD3: v Starblaydia (DuneDome, Navon Beach.)
24-05-2009, 11:51


City Of Ad’ihan, Ad’ihan- There was a World Cup Draw that was actually worth paying attention too. For the first time, Newmanistan finds themselves in the World Cup and will now look to see how far they can take it. All nations when they qualify for the first time seem to have the “infancy expectation” amongst their fans. That thought of just being happy to be there and seeing your team in the competition. For Newmanistan, that thought exists to a point and no one will call this a failure if they fail to advance of their group, which is Group A. At the same time, because we have tried to get here so many times, there is a feeling of needing to make an impression here, and to show the World that the nation which has a stack of “other” trophies can also compete with the big boys at the highest level in football. Thus, we probably need to find a balance here. In a group with the host nation Ad’ihan, the host nation of our sponsor, Daehanjeiguk, and a group of military man eager to show up their national team, Jeru FC, the Rockets have their work cut out for them. We know that this would have happened in any of the eight groups, so where do we find that balance? What do we want our team to do, at minimum? Clearly, no one wants to go three and out. Three losses don’t send any kind of positive message that you belong with this crowd. One draw in three games is slightly better, but still doesn’t send that message. At the least, we’d like to see the Rockets find a way to win one of their three games. Maybe two draws and a loss would work, too.

Enough for the minimum expectations. The Rockets will be going all-out on the field to advance out of the group, and then from there, who knows. It’s been done before, as we can all remember the ride Peisandros had eight years ago. First, Newmanistan has a tough chore in front of them in opening up against Ad’ihan as their passionate fans will be loud and boisterous in support of their national team. Every team wants to win the World Cup, but to do so in front of your home fans would be extra sweet. The game will be at Protectorate Stadium in City of Ad’ihan, and is a place that should bring great memories back to our players. It was the Cup of Harmony 34 Final, and the Rockets won that trophy right here in this very facility. Nine months after the final, Jeremy McAllister and wife Ashley gave birth to a son, Jeremy McAllister, Jr (OOC: I seriously RP’d this back then, not making it up now!). Now here we are, sixteen years later, and the player that had a big role in the Rockets second half rise in qualifying, Jeremy McAllister, Jr, is set to lead the team. His father is on the sidelines, with a SAPCO story that won’t go away, but at the time not affecting the team. In fact, the team may just be rallying around it. Certainly, Junior is not the only reason the Rockets are here, but it’s an interesting little factoid. There are no current players that also played for that team. It has been sixteen years after all, but looking back at the roster shows five players then who presently coach in the Newmanistan Premier League. In addition to the elder McAllister, fellow assistant Mark McCafferty also played for that team. The national teams of Newmanistan and Ad’ihan have never met. The game also officially opens the entire World Cup campaign, so the whole world will be watching, and we’ll want to look good.

After taking on Ad’ihan, the Rockets will remain in City of Ad’ihan, but head over to Stade de Iles to meet up with everyone’s favorite military team, Jeru FC. We have one such meeting with them, and you have to go back a long time to find it. That would be Cup of Harmony 32, which was won by Jeru FC by the score of 2-1. With that result only relevant to historians now, this game figures to represent the Rockets best chance to pick up a victory, if you’re one who looks at the rankings. While that is true, we think Jeru FC may be a spoiler in this group for the top two teams, and not just for us based on the simple factor of motivation. Their parent nation, Jeruselem, had an embarrassing time in qualifying, and failed to make the final field of 32. For so long, the military team has been like a Jasi-yun to SLANI, the good little brother who’s accomplishments are dwarfed by his much more highly successful sibling. They have a chance here to win over the support of their people, and not to mention Dallas and Sallad girls. It could lead them to be one of the sleepers of the entire Cup, or they may fall flat on their face like the Princesses did.

Finally, we have Daehanjeiguk, who is probably the best team in the group. It is one of those countries that every World Cup, you just sit back and think “this is their year”, but something always seems to fall apart at the end for them. Eventually, The Han Empire will win a World Cup, the talent level there is amazing, and their coaches demand performance and get it out of their players. This may be their year, and it wouldn’t surprise us. They should almost certainly advance out of the group, and the Rockets will not want to be in a must win situation against them, right? See, that’s where it gets interesting because you almost want to play the “Dancougar card” here. While the Black Wings of Dancougar have always been ranked higher then us, it has been the Rockets that have dominated the season series, as evidenced by our firm grasp on the Bird on Skates since World Cup 43. Newmanistan has certainly not dominated anything with Daehanjeiguk, but if you look at the past history, you see results that get your hopes up. The Rockets play the Han well, consistently, with the most recent meeting being a 3-0 win in a pre-qualifying friendly for World Cup 45. The nations have two other meetings, both Di Bradini Cup games, in which they have split. The Rockets will have confidence in this one, especially after having knocked off Yafor 2 twice in qualifying. They will not be favored, but don’t be surprised if they pull this off. It’s also possible that Daehanjeiguk could have things wrapped up by this point and therefore not play as hard as they could. Furthermore, you also can’t talk about a showdown with The Han Empire without mentioning the Samseong factor. The highly profitable electronics giant began it’s sponsorship of the Rockets national team in World Cup 45, and it has been a successful partnership. Even though the Empress has relaxed a once hard stance, Samseong was there for us when we needed them, and we cannot forget that. We’re not sure which way they’re executives will be hoping this game goes, perhaps they will hope for the scenario that the Han will have wrapped it up, and we get the win.

Those are our opponents, now how about the Rockets? We know that they are better finishers then they are starters, therefore we will be hoping that our second half form will continue in the World Cup. If it does, then Newmanistan could be a legitimate threat in Group A. If not, then it will be a three and out with zero points. The strength of the team has been defense and goalkeeping throughout qualifying, and this is a change from recent Rockets teams that looked for goals and 4-3 victories. The one time in which they had a goalfest, they were able to come out on top, but that was the exception. Jason Hargrove, in goal, gets a lot of credit. Here’s a guy that after World Cup 45 never had his name even mentioned as a possibility to replace retired Chris Kusler in net. He saw the opportunity, and after a fantastic season in Olympia, he got more and more people to notice until eventually, Nelson Yaschter included him. He has gone on to play great. The defense has also been stellar with veterans Scott LaFave and Alex Lampert teaming up with youngster Shawn Loughran and Robert Selvy. Three of the Rockets’ four losses during qualifying were 1-0 defeats, so none of them should take any blame. It is the offense where the question marks lie. Matthew Turner lost his starting job because of it, and other more subtle changes were made as well, such as Nick Roberts in for Kyle Carrigan, and these appeared to pay off in the second half. Jeremy McAllister, Jr, looked really strong, and it energized the whole team. Jennifer Vilardi and Billy Prescott picked up their games, and Nick Roberts quietly strung together consistently good performances. It’s been a little while now since the end of qualifying, and the excitement of our first qualification after several tries as died down in favor of wanting to make some noise in qualifying.

We don’t know how it will play out yet, but the Rockets will be off and running in the first game of the entire Cup against a nation that is looking to have a party after their game in hopes of seeing their national team win. Newmanistan will be looking to crash the party, and that alone can serve as all the motivation that one needs. Recall the most recent Cup of Harmony final in which Newmanistan played Peisandros in Peisandros. The way to win a game like this is to not allow the home team to score first and especially don’t let them score early. Expect the Rockets to emphasize the physical play of Billy Prescott to get the crowd focused on campaigning for fouls and cards and away from rooting for their team. When that happens, this is when you, as the visitor, pounce. At long last, we’re in the World Cup. It’s going to be a great game at Protectorate Stadium.
Candelaria And Marquez
24-05-2009, 13:42
The Albrecht Herald Online>Sport>WC46
Oh gawd, not them again…
By Mack Hession

One not unimpressive qualifying group stage later, and Candelaria And Marquez are sitting pretty at an all-time high of second in the rankings – emerging, alongside only the Eesseff, as the only undefeated sides of the ninety involved in the race to make the showpiece of global sport.

Finding themselves simmering nicely in the first pot of seeds for the very first time, Elgin Dannat’s men could breath easy that their campaign would, at least initially, avoid meetings with Bostopia, Cafundéu, Starblaydia et al, never mind the Eesseff themselves; but the group draw would none the less produce plenty to whet the appetite and underpants alike.

Dancougar may be rubbing their collective hands with glee come Burnaby, knowing that their mission to see the Big Blues become the first reigning champions knocked out in the group stage since Az-cz at World Cup 39 may have been given a massive boost by the identity of the third nation out of the hat. C&M really, really don’t like playing Rennidan. After six competitive meetings – more than any other side, barring the ubiquitous world number ones and the aforementioned WC38 champions – the teams share a 2-2-2 record. The identity of the Rennidan starting XI (or, conceivably, V) may remain a tad unclear – though we can probably expect to face KT Hotspur hardman Samual Fortal and Tenderville goal machine Drunn Deleks once more – but a bruising encounter is all but a given. An on-field enmity stemming from the brutal assault on Matteo Corradini by the late Robert Golos over a decade ago lives on still, exasperated by the rapidly declining quality of life within Rennidan itself that leaves their symbolic national football team with plenty to prove.

Away from the pitch, clashes between Candelariasian and Rennidanian supporters have become unwelcomely habitual features of their meetings – hardly a recipe for making international friends nor one that local law enforcement will be particularly chuffed to observe, particularly when coupled with the thuggish reputation of Kirkenes FC’s own ultras famed globally – according to Foreign Office experts – for their buttock-slashing pre-match rituals.

To that end, travelling supporters from the Candelarias will be presented with strict guidelines as to their movements around Kirkenes both before, during and after the Matchday One fixture, with the hope of avoiding unpleasant encounters with fellow fans from Rennidan, Kelssek, and the notoriously violent travelling legions of Group E’s Zemyzha Myzhent, drawn to face the hosts across the road from C&M’s own Sky Dome date at Exhibition Palace barely more than hours after the Big Blues’ own opening fixture. The Candelarias’ man in Neorvins, Ambassador José Fernando Lopéz de Quintana, has been keen to stress his faith in the abilities of both the C&M Foreign Office and CAMAFA to ensure that the first few days of C&M’s tournament pass off smoothly enough, with the planned restrictions likely to be lifted for the remainder of the group stage.

With a bit of luck then, our focus should be allowed to remain squarely on the football – with the clash against Dancougar promising to be a group stage highlight, if not necessarily delivering much in the way of goals. The rankings tables were reversed (cue a burst of the ‘Upside Down’ chant) when the Black Wings and Big Blues met fourish years ago in Zapata, with both sides left moderately comfortable with a nil-all draw. Despite the respective slides and boosts in fortunes, Dannat may well be biting their hand off for a similar outcome this time around, particular given the scratch XI expected following the Rennidanian bludgeoning days earlier.

As for Sarzonia, the WC22 champions’ own meteoric rise back into the big time, coupled with their table-topping performance in a competitive Group 13, sees them represent one of the more dangerous of the pot four outfits and more than a few of the Candelariasian squad may be forgiven for their nerves if C&M enter the final group game needing a result. Jono Plunkett and Macario Oliveira Tavares in particular won’t have fond memories of their two-one DBC9 defeat to the Junior Stars, and may well need to derive extra impetus from that single previous meeting with Plunkett having apparently leapfrogged Pablo Estévez in Dannat’s estimations and Aaron Kortsarian’s all-important left knee still looking wanting when facing the demands of a lengthy tournament. The game’s key clash, however, should see KT Hotspur right-back Gwynfardd Lopulalan face his club team-mate George Morrison – with little love lost between the pair, by all accounts.

When push comes to shove however, and desperately clichéd though it is, the Big Blues’ worst opponent may be they themselves. The effects of gategate are still clear for all to see, with the team’s form having dramatically dropped off since the scraped one-all draw at Achtervolging and their previous prolific fluidity a thing of the past, for now at least. If C&M are to even come close to recapturing the glory of two years ago, they will need to rediscover at least a portion of the magic that dragged them along to the Holmes Stadium – and fast.

Best of the Rest ~ As ever, the World Cup carries a host of interest for CMSC supporters looking to put aside any neutrality to get the best out of the other seven groups. Albrecht FC fans will be cheering for club captain Francois St. Louis, with the hope of seeing his Kelssek side win the group, come second, or do whatever it takes to avoid C&M in the second round, with the hosts having a deserved reputation as a Candelariasian bogey team (four draws in the last four meetings, if you’re interested) – and they might also be crossing their fingers that William can get in on the action for Cafundéu in Group F.

The Kelssekian half of the draw is rounded out by plenty of interest in Group G, with Cathedral City supporters desperately hoping that Ilga NorthWalker can take an impressive World Cup display back into her league form for the struggling club; Albrecht Turkish supporters will be shouting for Cassadaigua – alongside Albrecht Independent FC, who have their first World Cup representation in the form of Katie Cincoski, as well as every aspiring female footballer in the Candelarias – while KT Hotspur fans may wish to see a Bostopian run give their unfairly deposed former manager Karl Matthews something to smile about, and we hardly need to discuss Sorthern Northland’s presence, now do we?

Group D sees veteran Taeshan defender Jacin Raellis give El din Marbles supporters something to shout about once more – and they really ought to savour it until Nethertopia finally contrive to haul themselves onto the world stage. Green Island’s loyalties should be clear for all to see; the Errant Knights of Caires will be behind Starblaydia while Arrigo Portuguese will be crossing their fingers for their side’s clandestine compatriots of Kura-Pelland; and Kim Mihyeon will hope to provide the New Sausages faithful with a bright spot in a dour season against the Turkish-, Catedral- and Errant Knights-backed Ad’ihan.

Isn’t that nice?

[OOC: LE, do feel entirely free to ignore my obviously non-footbally twaddle over the next week or so, for the purposes of bonusing… I’d intended to use the GBC account for it all in any case, before they contrived to actually qualify…]

A twig snapped, and leaves crunched underfoot. Quite a… large foot, it seemed. Not as one might find on your basic badger, for example. Badgers had less in the way of the dramatic crunch about them. A fox, likewise, or a capybara or domestic cat, or any of the other mammalian species endemic to Candelaria didn’t automatically suggest themselves either. And it almost certainly wasn’t a frog.

A giant toad, now that would be more plausible. The country certainly had one, and he did indeed frolic freely in the nation’s many lush forests; though here, in point of fact, was not in actuality a forest. More accurately, it was a country road. Lance Corporal Jamie Cusano had been brought up in comfortable, suburban Clotaire and had long been dimly aware that all sorts of worrying events took place in country roads, particularly in the generally degenerate lands darn sarf, but at least they all had an undeniable human quality to them. Jamie was fairly comfortable with human evil, and was carrying a fairly unpleasant weapon in any case, and the potential for deranged locals held limited fears even at this time of the morning.

Giant walking trees, though? He hadn’t been trained for that. You didn’t get treemen in the Timonian Buffer Zone. You didn’t get much of anything, that was kind of the point. And being sent out there was about as bad slash interesting as it got in the Candelarias Defence Force, at least on dry land. You signed up expecting a smart uniform and an impractical beret (a luminous blue one, if you’re interested, long known colloquially in these parts as a sham o’ shom, widely supposed to come from ‘shag me or shoot me’, though there’s actually an interesting debate in etymological circles over the correct derivati–

Slow, deliberate movements, coming closer all the time. It couldn’t be human, not inside the exclusion zone, and nothing human would be quite that heavy in any case. And Jamie knew, he knew he wasn’t supposed to thing like that, because his commanding officers had insisted repeatedly that, despite whatever rumours happened to weave their way around camp and civvy street alike, there were still very definitely no such things as non-humans. But equally, Second Lieutenant Bentley had told him on the side, if you do happen to come across one of the buggers, fill ‘im with twenty pounds of lead, eh?

Now that push came to shove though, it all suddenly seemed less simple. What good would that do to a treeman, anyhow? Or what bad, more to the point. Would he start leaking leaves or acorns, or summat? What if it wasn’t one of them, what if it was a whole bloody army of pixies!? Or pillywiggins, Jamie added to himself, shuddering. What if it was half a dozen of them ridiculously beautiful blonde girls, out to capture unsuspecting human men and drag them back to their lair for weeks of feverish mating, Jamie thought wretchedly. And me without me best undercrackers on…

Never the less, he was following it/them, wasn’t he? He was kind of not supposed to do that, but you heard stuff about the skogsra… Maybe he was already under their bewitching spell? Yeah, that was probably it, he wasn’t in control of his own…

They were a ‘they’, and two figures. Which would, he supposed, account for the heaviness. Hm… and two female figures at that, judging by length of hair in the moonlight and such. Not figures, even from behind, automatically redolent of impending ravishment, but…

Oh, what the hell. He coughed pointedly. The women stopped, and swivelled.


“Uhm… I, er… Um…”

“Oh, spit it out, we haven’t got all day.”

“Um. You do know you’re… And you human?”

“Last time I checked, man-with-hat. Yourself?”

“Oh, certainly, yes!”

“Excellent. Jen, are you still of the human persuasion?”

“Sukie, if you could stop playing with the poor boy and get a shifty on?”

The bonier of the women put her head on one side and smiled at Jamie apologetically. “Sometimes, she’s just no fun. Shouldn’t you be somewhere else, Mister…?”

“Um… It’s Lance Corporal Cusano…”

“Sorry. Shouldn’t you be somewhere else, Mister Cusano? Hunting for pillywiggins, and such forth.”

“N… No humans are allowed to enter the exclusion zone!”

“You are.”

“Yeah, but…”

“So I reckon we ought to say no more about it, don’t you?”

“I’m allowed to be here!”

“Oh, really? You say that now, but…”

“I have a hat!”

“I like a hat on a man, aye.”

“And,” Jamie added, recovering slightly, “I’ve got a gun and all.”

The other woman sighed and clumped forward, delving in her pocket and flashing a small piece of card at him. “You see this?”

“Um… No. No, ‘cos it’s dark an’ all, and…”

“So much for that tactic,” the woman muttered, scowling briefly at her companion. “Alright, let’s put it another way. Have you heard of the Ministry of Remedial Teaching?”

Jamie swallowed. “’s.”

“And do you know what happens when the Minister for Remedial Teaching is unhappy with you?”

Jamie shook his head.

“Would you like remain ignorant?”

Jamie nodded enthusiastically.

“Good boy. Keep a lookout for those damn pixies, won’t you?”


The women continued down the road, Jenny Harris kicking irritably at a small stone. “Told you we shouldn’t have come this way…”

“There’s no reason why Ermenault might not have patrols stationed in woods and fields and whatnot as well, is there? We fobbed off that kid well enough, anyway. We’ll have been and gone by the time he thinks to report it.”

“Or not as the case may be.”

“Yes, naturally. There is still that possibility that the fae might just lower the forcefieldy thing and let us on through, and you can grab Josh, and we’ll all be back in time for ¡Buenos Dias! and a sift through the morning papers.”

“You didn’t have to come…”

“And miss out on all the excitement? Never! I haven’t had any interesting corpses for ages. This is certainly worth the distinct possibility of being eaten by a tree.”

“There aren’t any confirmed reports of people being eaten by anything yet,” Jenny replied, a trifle forlornly for Sukie’s taste. “Still, perhaps if we kept our voices down…?”

The pathologist nodded, and the pair walked briskly on for some twenty minutes, deeper towards the original border between Candelaria And Marquez and Gordon Bay City. Torchlight failed utterly to pick out anything more sinister than the occasional discarded coke can, aside from the abandoned cottages and, eventually, entire streets that lined the roads they walked upon.

“Just how many refugees are there now?” Sukie hissed.

“Not as many as you’d think. Remember, some of these places have been vacant for decades, ever since the Gordon Bay disaster. Or… the first one now, I guess… Now shh a sec…”

Jenny flashed the torch further forward for a moment. The thin chalk line lying across the road was just about visible.

“Well that was easy,” Sukie said cheerfully. “Now to get inside, eh?”

“Oh, I think not.”

The women span around at the sound of the sharp voice behind them, the minister lunging for her hip before Sukie – who had spent much of the last couple of years dawdling about in alternate future realities, capering with goblins and tracking Swedish drug-pushers during the whole ghastly business with the see-through sheep, and who therefore had rather more presence of mind in these sorts of situations – flashed her torch into the newcomer’s eyes.

Jenny relaxed. “Robyn,” she said flatly.


The screen fades from black back to the scene again. Presumably this particular channel doesn’t have commercial breaks.

Jenny stared grimly at the President. “You’re here…”

“I’d appear to be, mm. More to the point, so are you and the Ministry’s pet pathologist.”

Sukie waved cheerily. “Hiya, that’d be me. There’s an A before the E, but don’t let that bother you, Mrs President. Um. Shouldn’t you be somewhere, y’know… safer?”

“Your concern is touching, Ms Rohaert, but…”

“Personally, you really don’t rate as one of my favourite people right now so I can’t get overly worked up about it; but Sukie’s right, Robyn. What on earth were you thinking wandering about around the border at two in the bloody morning!? The last thing we need right now is to have the President eaten by an aigamuxa!”

“Ooh, that’s a new one…”

“We had a positive ID on a corpse recovered two nights ago.”

“A corpse…?”

Jenny shrugged. “At least they’re killing each other rather than us. Don’t change the subject! You’re not expendable, you daft cow!”

“Quite so. That’s why I brought those gentlemen,” Morton said, sticking her thumb over her shoulder. The women squinted until a group of half a dozen figures became distinct from the gloom. Their weapons were large; their berets were of the no-nonsense variety. The President grinned unpleasantly. “I am a woman of means myself, in case you’d forgotten? I merely wanted to see the border for myself…”

“Riiight,” Jenny muttered suspiciously.

“That and keep tabs on you, obviously. I had this horrible feeling in my waters that you were planning to do something silly. And equally, your husband did give me a bit of a heads-up…”


“You’re just lucky we haven’t conspired to have you placed under house arrest already! You think it’s risky for me to be here? You could be jeopardising everything we… What the hell are you doing?!”

“Er… Poking at the invisible wall around the Queendom?” Sukie said hesitantly.

“Well, don’t! It could bring their entire armed forces down on our heads!”

“Ah yes, because of all the infrared motion detectors and whatnot? I just don’t know why we’re so scared of them,” Sukie muttered huffily. “Or ‘Them’, whatever. They haven’t actually done anything yet, have they?”

“Apart from stick a bloody great invisible forcefield around their new domain?”

“Apart from that, aye.”

“Or, indeed, completely controlling the direction of the Candelariasian state and policies of C&M governments for more than century? Don’t presume to lecture me, girl. You really don’t know anything about our sit–”

“I have been there, y’know? To their other realm. Not for very long, but I do know what I’m talking about.” She rested both hands flat against the air. It felt wooden, and somehow she’d expected that, but…

“Maybe there’s some hidden hatch, or something?” Jenny wondered aloud, rushing forward and following her friend’s lead, running her hands along the unseen dome.

Morton groaned. “I really don’t think They’d have just left one lying around… Jenny, we will get him back, I swear, but only when… Stop.”

“Set your boys in black over there on me if you want, Robyn, but if this is an opportunity t–”

“Stop. Just freeze for a second…”

The minister and the pathologist glanced at each other, their eyes slowly drifting towards the other’s hands.

“Erm… It is… curved, isn’t it? Dome-like. Domular.”

“It’s a funny thing, but I’m really quite sure it’s dramatically horizontal. And flat as a pancake. Note the positioning of my hands.”

“I am, yeah…”

Behind them the President sighed and rolled her eyes to the heavens. “I really am going to come to regret this,” she muttered, and strode purposefully forward through the
Gordon Bay City
24-05-2009, 13:43

Morton gently pirouetted in the dark street and raised both eyebrows in the direction of the other women.

“How… How did you…? Um?” Sukie mumbled from over in Candelaria And Marquez.

“I guessed,” Morton said matter-of-factly from Gordon Bay City. “Accidental President I may be, Ms Rohaert, but I’m not completely daft. I was wondering before, to be honest, given that we had reports of sparrows and whatnot fluttering over the chalk without trouble, never mind the walking trees and pillywiggins and such forth just in the last week or so…”

Jenny Harris bit a lip, and pushed again at the barrier. “I’m going to have to reiterate the ‘um’, Robyn. You can’t walk through solid metal unless…” Her eyes narrowed. “You’re her, aren’t you! You’re Leohi! Damnit Morton, I should’ve known! The arrogance, the supercilious expression! The lack of will to actually stop the fae running amuck over our country! How long, Morton? A few weeks, a few months? Or have you always bee–”

“Jenny, just step over the damn chalk.”

Jenny stepped over the damn chalk, and blinked. “Yeah… I knew I should have gone to bed early last night. A couple of hours extra shut-eye would have done me the world of good…”

Morton beckoned towards the armed men, who marched – tentatively, mind you, but with undeniable marchingy qualities – over the border, taking a gently protesting Sukie Rohaert along with them.

“That was easy enough now, wasn’t it? Sophisticated psychological trickery, I’ll give them that… Right, well,” the President began again, momentarily uncertain of quite how to proceed, “Much as I’d love to turn back right now…”

“We go and grab as many of our people as we can and get the hell out of here?”

“No. Five minute’s reconnaissance, no more. Just until we can ascertain that this street is clear of fae. Then we call for back-up in numbers and then, Jenny, we let the professionals do their job. Are we clear on that?”

“Fine,” the minister muttered, starting forward flanked by two of the soldiers. “Some of these houses look occupied…”

“Be careful, everyone. There are a scattering of humans still living close to the original border, but there’s no reason to suppose that they’re here…”

“With respect, Robyn, I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest otherwise. This is definitely a Candelariasian street…”

“I await your words of wisdom.”

“The flags? Blue and green jobs, fluttering in the breeze? From at least… two, four, maybe twelve of the buildings? Plus that lamppost.”

“Nice try, but they could easily have been up pre-invasion.”

Following uneasily behind in her footsteps, Sukie snorted. “What country do you live in? Since when did we put up flags just for the hell of it? Either we reached the World Cup final again and I didn’t notice, or they’re fresh. It’s like walking through an Anglo quarter of Arrigo during the Problems, here… ‘Cept with less in the way of murals, obviously. Odd though, isn’t it? You’d have thought They’d have cracked down on that sort of thing…”

“There are white and navy blue ones as well, y’know… Across the other side of the street.”

“Humans and fae living alongside each other?” Morton shook her head. “I’m not about to buy that.”

“Could be a propaganda piece, or something… Maybe They wanted us t… Um. Did anyone else see that?”

One of the soldiers alongside her nodded. “Little creature. Ugly bugger, walking backwards… Slipped down the path there.” He fingered his firearm nervously. “Mrs President? Should we follow…?”

“No. It’s not our concern, we should be turning back now in any cas–”


Morton and her party jolted collectively and span around towards a slightly crumpled – but otherwise reassuringly human – head leaning out of a window on the blue-and-green side of the street.

“I’m… sorry?”

“Trows, Mrs President. Live across the road, in the cellars an’ that. We don’t have much to do with ‘em. You lot coming in then, or what?”


It proved a tight squeeze to fit the three women and CDF soldiers into the living room of number thirteen, Niblock Street. There were over a dozen humans here already, dressed in clothes that clearly hadn’t seen the inside of a washing machine for a while, though the muted light of three candles sitting in saucers along the central table might well have told lies. Sukie rested next to the stone-cold radiator by the door, cradling the mug Mrs Belt had handed her.

“You’ve never thought of inviting your other neighbours round for a brew, then?” Sukie asked her brightly.

The woman gave her an old look. “They keep themselves to themselves,” Mrs Belt said approvingly, “And we’ve got no quarrel with that. Long as we don’t put any music on, there’s no trouble.” She snorted suddenly, and gave a half-sobbing Ha!. “Funny how quickly you get used to stuff, isn’t it?”

“Quite,” Morton said quietly. “Look everyone, I just want to say how proud I am, that all Candelariasians are, of how you’ve handled this situation, I –”

“You can’t fib a fibber, Mrs M. We know they don’t know. Heard me sister on the radio the other day, fretting about the bird flu, can you imagine? Said she hadn’t heard from me for weeks, sick to ‘er stomach that summat might’ve happened. Said she reckons the government are lying to ‘em all about how bad things are here! If only she knew, eh? ‘Bout how you abandoned us to these things! ‘Least them lot across the road are quiet, when they want to be. You hear talk of all sorts, from the other streets…”

Mrs Belt left the sentence hanging aloft. Morton grimaced. “I know. And I’m sorry, I really…”

“Are y’now? Well that does make it all better,” the older woman murmured, her voice shaking. A man put his hand gently on her arm.

“Now then Margie, I’m sure our President knows what she’s doing. She wouldn’t have come, would she, if she wasn’t going to rescue us?”

“Oh, and I should fair leap for joy, should I? It’s only been a month or three, but here’s our angel, come to take us to safety! But what about the others, Ben? Eh, tell me about them! You ever looked a mux straight in the eye, Mrs Morton? No? No, me neither. Nor’s anyone else here, else they’d be corpses already! D’yeh know what the skogs do t’men who take their fancy? Or about the little boy down Gulliver Walk who wandered into the coblyn mine? They never found his head, Mrs Morton!”

“I’m truly sorry for all your losses, Mrs Belt, but I –”

“We lay awake, y’know. Upstairs, hearing ‘em scrabbling down below. Lord only knows what they think they’re after, ‘cos we’ve hidden all the biscuits and there ain’t too many fair maidens left here for ‘em to carry off! How cosy’s your big bed in Albrecht, Mrs M?”

“Less so of late, Mrs Belt. I… Look, we mustn’t stay long, I didn’t know we’d ev–”


A wizened figure – who might easily have passed for any manner of life-form were it not for his worn Candelaria-Allemali shirt glinting golden in the candlelight – had crossed the carpet and bent down in the centre of the room. “It is time,” he croaked.

The room, save the newcomers, gave a collective nod.

“Um?” Morton ventured, before she silenced by a dozen angry stares.

“If I was you, Mrs President, I’d say nothing right about now. This is no business of yours.”

The man leant towards a black shape in the heart of the table. It popped gently.

“…issed a girl and I liked it, the taste of her cherry chap–”


“…ning the reigning champions in will be Dancougar…”

The room listened in solemn silence as ball after ball were plucked, Morton fidgeting nervously. Eventually she coughed. “Um, this is all very exciting, bu–”

“This is all we have, Mrs M. Now shush… Lads, it’ll be your turn soon.”

As Peisandros was added to Group B, the President noticed for the first time the group of hoodies in the corner of the room, listening intently. One of the boys glanced in her direction before pointedly looking away.

“…quez, Dancougar, Rennidan and Sarzonia…”

“Thank heavens for that,” the Minister for Remedial Teaching muttered vaguely.

“…shan will meet their qualifying foes once again in the group stage in D… First-time qualifiers Newmanistan round out Group A… Kosovoe join Qazox, Ve–”

“That’s nice for them… Everyone, if we’re going to get you out of here I suggest w–”


“…oup E… GordoZEMYZHA MYZHENT with Kelssek, Jaseuyeon and Septentrionia…”

The hoodies let out a little cheer, while Mrs Belt and some of the others nodded approvingly.

“A doable task for your lot there, I shouldn’t wonder.”

“Indeed. Sixteenth, twenty-first and twenty-eight, according to my notes. I for one look forward to seeing how the floating head deals with the great Ian Sinclair.”

Morton felt the blood drain from her face at the sound of the creature’s cool tones. His voice was unfamiliar, but the accent was inescapably fae.

“You… You’re Kolani?” she asked in as matter-of-fact a manner as possible.

“Yes,” one of the hooded fae said simply. “Does our presence here unnerve you, Robyn Morton?”

“No, no,” the President lied adamantly, “But um… Now that that little ritual is over, I think it would be a jolly good idea if we a–”

Five sharp raps on the front door stopped her in her tracks, but most of the others seemed less than concerned.

“It’s a friend,” Mrs Belt said shrugging, a moments later a new figure had hurried inside. It was yet another fae, Morton could just make out, and an older one this time – though, she supposed, it was all relative. The others here might merely be classed as ‘venerable’ by human standards – any of their number quite as careworn as the newcomer must come under the category of ‘ancient’.

“A patrol, two streets from here and moving quickly. Snuff out the candles and alight to bed. There will be time for further discourse at new light.”

“As you say,” Mrs Belt sighed. “Use the back door, those of you who can. Tony and Joe can kip on the sofa, and the spare room opposite meself and Ben’s is going free, but don’t all jump at once…”

“Surely if we all go now, we can be past the border before They come here?” Morton said desperately. Mrs Belt shook her head.

“You can take your life in your own hands if you want, missy, even if it were possible to just hop over the chalk like that. Not quite sure how you and your flunkies got over here, Mrs M, and believe you me we’re going to have that out well and proper come the morning, but for now you can take the comfy chair in the lounge and like it! The rest of you can take the floor, but keep your bloody heads down! And God help us if they choose t’knock…”

The room steadily dispersed until Morton’s group remained alone, bunking down amongst the available seats and crannies. Alone, the President realised after a short while, but for the latest arrival. The fae was standing by the bare window.

“Isn’t this patrol likely to see you there, eh?” Morton hissed.

“It is unlikely. And if they do, they would say little of it. However, if it would make you feel happier…” He crossed the room lightly and hunched down next to her. Morton could feel his breath, and she swallowed grimly. She’d never been this close to one before. Not a tangible one, anyway.

“So… Is there some kind of rebellion being planned, then? Humans and fae alike, that’s why you’re all here, right? It can’t just be about the football, surely?”

“It is a recent development, so I hear. I regret that I have not been party to proceedings myself, it is not my place. To be frank, President, your presence here may not have been overly welcomed. They fear that Albrecht will attempt to stop them.”

“They’d be bloody right,” Morton hissed. “It’d be absolute suicide to try anything now! Even if they do have… your people on their side. Somehow…”

“The fae you saw would call themselves Kolani, of course, but more than that they are aliali. It is… difficult to explain, but they are considered part of a lower order of our race. Their position in society is limited. They were prepared to follow Leohi to Gordon Bay City in search of a new life, a more just and equal existence, but they believe their promised utopia has been wrenched from their fingers. They look between the nobility and you humans… some see a lesser evil. Their numbers remain small, but while the newcomers challenge even their own lowly role in our nation… They are growing, Robyn Morton. This I promise you.”

“You say ‘they’? You wouldn’t consider yourself one of them, then?”

“Oh that I could, trapped as I am between loyalty and duty… But a discussion for another time, perhaps,” the faerie added suddenly, rising to his feet and crossing the carpet.

“Hey!” Morton hissed. “You’re not going to leave, are you? If you alert one of the Queen’s patrols…!”

“I shall be unharmed, President, and so will you all. Sleep well, Robyn Morton. The future is but days away…”

Puao shut the front door carefully behind him and walked unhurriedly down the street, nodding in a friendly manner towards the group of armed fae that passed by. “I hope,” he added to himself, before quickening his pace.


And the Queen watched. She let her fingers glide sadly across the screen, as the CCTV camera saw Puao slip away down a back street.

“My brother, my oldest friends, my mentor… In the final reckoning, you are all found wanting. None of you have the vision, do you? Oh… But I always knew this! I always knew that we were not what we were, but I hoped… I hoped so very much. And you understand, don’t you, dear friend? I tried. I tried! I tried to make this work, for all of us! And the nobility doubted me, and Aino saw fit to bring these foul thousands to our doorstep and welcome them inside, and the commoners have placed their faith in Mark Baker and his little team, in lieu of the elders and the gods alike… But you? I never thought it would be you too, Puao! I never thought my little child would be the only one I had left! I never thought it would come to this… And I am sorry, for what it is worth. You held my hand through so much, dear friend. And for so long, but… You do understand. You always did. And I will never forget that. Even now…”

Leohi slid back her chair, emitted the deepest of sighs, and pulled on her wellies.
24-05-2009, 15:20
This is the RP cutoff for all teams in Groups E through H.

24-05-2009, 15:50
Scores for groups A to D (
24-05-2009, 21:27
Cody Taylor's expression said it all. He'd only conceded a lone goal that came against the run of play. He'd made three breathtaking saves. The Stars fired 17 shots to 13 for Dancougar.

However, the Black Wings were equal to the task on each of Sarzonia's six shots on goal. They made the lone 29th minute goal hold up and defeated the Stars 1:0 in Neorvins.

Meanwhile, Candelaria and Marquez ripped Rennidan 3:1 in the other Group H fixture. For the Stars, now was the time to feel their backs to the wall. A loss to Rennidan might not eliminate the Stars depending what Candelaria and Marquez and Dancougar did, but it would for all intents and purposes render that final fixture against the defending World Cup champions moot.

"I just couldn't make the save when we needed it most," a sombre Taylor said, looking down dejectedly at the floor as he slumped forward on the stool in front of his locker. His goalkeeper's kit, usually neatly hung behind him or tossed into the laundry cart lay rumpled just centimetres behind his stool. He faced the litany of questions from assembled media clad only in a pair of athletic shorts.

"I take the blame for the loss," Taylor said. Forward Matt Lynch, he of Sarzonia's two best scoring chances overheard Taylor.

"No way," Lynch countered. "If I score those two goals, we're singing a different tune."

"I should have marked my man more effectively," defender and team captain Ben Davis said. "If I cut his angle off better, Cody's got an easy save."

"Don't beat yourselves up over this result," goalkeeper coach Horace Sandt said. The man who'd backstopped Sarzonia's World Cup XXII championship team walked over toward Taylor's locker.

"Cody, you kept us in this match when it could have gotten away from us. Matt, you gave the Black Wings all the trouble they could want. Ben, you shut down more scoring opportunities than any defender I've seen since World Cup XXIV. You did your kits proud."

Still wasn't good enough, Lynch thought. So did Davis. So did Taylor. That's what set the Stars apart from other teams in the same situation. While many debutant nations would be gleeful about holding the world's 10th ranked side to one goal and actually outplaying them, Sarzonians saw it as merely a loss.

"We don't believe in moral victories here," said midfielder George Morrison. "The only victories we care about are the ones that give us three points in the table."

Speaking of which, their next match would be against Rennidan, a team ranked more highly in the world than Sarzonia's No. 34 ranking. Sarzonia played the Brutes to a 2:2 draw in the Empire's Charity Cup in Newmanistan. It was a result that impressed the Rennidan players, but disappointed the Stars. Whether Sarzonia won this match with far greater stakes was a question.

But for one night, Sarzonia's best wasn't good enough. And that was often enough to motivate them to exert greater effort next time out. But whether that effort will translate into a result is a question best left to the field of play.
Jeru FC
25-05-2009, 00:04
OOC - Posted this a bit late but ... anyway

Marie's Rant

Well, with Jeruselem not in the finals - I can't talk about our chances in the finals. We can talk about the Cup of Harmony, which hosting rights were won by Dancougar just recently. We've never played there but as one of the biggest seeds in the CoH, we'll be doing our best to claw back some rankings.

We still have Jeru FC to fly our flag and well, what an awful group they landed. I mean, someone doesn't like Jeru FC or what?

Group A
Jeru FC

Firstly, we got one of the hosts. With the home support, it's like playing with 12 players on the field. I don't mind Ad'ihan but it's finals time and playing the home team is not easy.

Now, we have Han AGAIN. Whoever did the draw should be beaten up. Jeru FC had to play them twice and now in the finals draw AGAIN. Those wacky Han follow us around, first they follow Jeruselem around and then now Jeru FC. I know the Han themselves would not be happy with Jeruselemite teams following them around as well. It's not the fault of Jeru FC or Han, but again we have deal with this.

And then, to top things off ... our friends Newmanistan who just qualified for the first time. I'm sure they wouldn't be too thrilled as well. I want them to make the 2nd round if they are in way of Jeru FC then it must be Jeru FC we choose.

For the Qazians out there, including Qaz Daz and my husband Ryan. Qazox got Group C.

Group C

Yes, they got the Elves who should be hard to beat and Vephrall who are always in with a chance. And then there's Kosovoe .. the Jeru FC of Taeshan.

It's a tough group but maybe the Pheonix could just make it this time round. I reckon them Qazians could win against Vephrall and Kosovoe. My prediction is Elves and Qazox.

And now to Newmanistan who have take our Jeru FC. It's a tough group for them as playing Jeru FC and Han as well as one of the hosts is not going to be easy. If I had my way, it would be Jeru FC and Newmanistan but I don't think so as the Han and Ad'ihan are veterans.

OK, my picks are the Han and Jeru FC. I don't like Han but I think they are definite 2nd round contenders.

I spoke to the Jeru FC team and they weren't exactly too enlightened about their group either. I think they are quite entitled to complain about drawing the hosts, then Han again and Newmanistan.

A lot people have asked me if I've slept with the Jeru FC coach once. I can say, it wasn't me. I think it was probably that Kaye of Jeru FC or maybe the equally slutty Julie. I've asked my sister Jacinta and Kate, but they can't remember doing anything like that. Go ask the Count himself, I'm sure it wasn't me. I've got Ryan to sexually harass.

Oh, Jeru FC's Kaye and Julie are now officially now members of the Order of Bike. They've earned it. They are just junior members still. They seemed pretty happy to just be low level members.

OOC - Wanted to post this yesterday ...
25-05-2009, 00:43
The last time the scoreboard at the Beachfront stadium on the southern tip of Barrier Island displayed a 7-3 scoreline, it was for a local gridiron game where the home team led by a touchdown to a field goal.

7-3 in the association code is the sort of scoreline that one generally has to explain by supernatural forces. And so it is that researchers from the University of Fariynuff's Sports Research Institute have flocked to Navon Beach to look for clues. It is hypothesised that mysterious objects inducing attacking football - generally referred to by the Rejistanian name 'va'takila' (by contrast, 'va'karela' induce defensive play) - have been allowed to enter the stadium amidst tight security. Secristan TV bigwigs seeking high PPV ratings for a tournament they are not involved in - but which is still likely to be a premium product regardless - have been blamed in some quarters, but others think this is a cynical perspective by socialist nutters who haven't changed their political views since they were delusionary undergraduates who liked the sound of the Socialist Society at the University of Fariynuff (since subsumed into the university's Workers' Party campaign group).

Others think this is just silly. 'It's obvious, Peisandros came to attack but conceded an early goal, and before they could settle back down let in another only to get a lucky goal back very quickly to stay in proceedings, and then...'

No, it didn't make any sense. Still doesn't. 3-2 up at half-time, Kura-Pelland proceeded to blitz the second half, substitute Jason Rappaport scoring a hat-trick in 19 minutes to turn a close wide-open game into a far-from-close wide-open game. Many believe he is the best impact sub in the multiverse now, with blistering pace and the determination to run right at tiring defences - and his finishing's improving, too. Will he start the next match? Good question.
25-05-2009, 00:44
(the trial reaches another stage, and another session begins)

JUDGE ALRADE - "We are here today for another session of the case involving the Empire and the defendants Carlos Alberto Urubupungá, Ronaldo Bustos, Michel Casaverde, Jonas Bigodinho and Marcos Jardins. We've heard the information given by The Scout about the negotiations involving the CCFM and other associations, and now will give the opportunity for the defendants' lawyers to ask questions to the informant."

TRAVASSOS - "That was what I was expecting for a long time."

BUSTOS - "And can we get an advantage now?"

TRAVASSOS - "We? Difficult, but I won't give up. After all, I am being paid for this!"

FERRAZ - "Don't worry, Jonas... Mr. Jardins... I think we can show the jury that you didn't get involved in this."

JARDINS - "I hope so... after all, I didn't!"

BIGODINHO - "Me too, I was just a messenger."

FERRAZ - "They'll see this... I hope. At least our situation isn't as bad as Urubupungá's..."

BIGODINHO - "So we have chances?"

FERRAZ - "Everyone has... but this doesn't mean we have big ones."

AGENT CAPIAU - "It was confirmed... Urubupungá has really fled the country."

JUDGE ALRADE - "Well, I was still hoping to hear that he had been caught before leaving Cafundéu, but it seems he was able to escape... bad for the trial, worse for him. He won't have a single minute of rest with the entire Cafundelense Federal Police after him."

AGENT CAPIAU - "So, what will happen with the trial now? The defendant had to be here."

JUDGE ALRADE - "The trial will continue, with or without him."

LORD NAPLAS - "And, meanwhile, we'll add the charges of resistance to prison and another charge for disobeying court orders. He had no permission to leave the country."

JUDGE ALRADE - "This will be done. He's already guilty of leaving the country without permission."

LORD NAPLAS - "I assume the Empire is working hard to capture him, so soon we'll see him back at this court."

AGENT CAPIAU - "No doubt. The Empress herself tried to capture him, but he fled. We believe he travelled in a clandestine way to Estresse Intenso."

JUDGE ALRADE - "Let's not worry about this now, this is work for the police. Now the trial must go on. Mr. Travassos, you have the chance to ask questions to The Scout."

THE SCOUT - "I doubt he has many questions to ask... each answer I give him will make things even worse for his clients. I have no information that can help them..."

TRAVASSOS - "I have questions, Mr. Scout. First of all, for how long had you been working under the orders of Carlos Alberto Urubupungá?"

THE SCOUT - "Approximately ten years. Yes, a long time."

TRAVASSOS - "And during this entire period Ronaldo Bustos and Michel Casaverde were part of the CCFM too."

THE SCOUT - "Yes, in influential positions."

TRAVASSOS - "So, during all these ten years before your exit from the CCFM, the three haven't done anything illegal?"

THE SCOUT - "Nothing that I knew."

TRAVASSOS - "And we can conclude that, as you were the main responsible for all the negotiations involving the transfer of players, all the numbers involving these deals passed through your eyes..."

THE SCOUT - "Yes, that was part of my job. I scouted players, made my list, contacted the CCFM, sent the offers to the teams, analyzed the asking price and concluded the deal consulting the CCFM and the team presidents."

TRAVASSOS - "So we can say that, during all these ten years, all the negotiations made by the CCFM were completely legal?"

THE SCOUT - "Well... we can say this."

TRAVASSOS - "So you admit that the CCFM deals were legal ones?"

THE SCOUT - "Yes, this until the World Cup forty-five cycle! Everything before that cycle was legal, at least all deals in which I had involvement! The problem happened in the negotiations made during the last transfer window!"

TRAVASSOS - "Ah, I was expecting you to reach this point... you claim that the CCFM president started stealing the money from the organization budget during the last transfer window, don't you?"

LORD NAPLAS - "We don't just claim, we have evidences for this!"

JUDGE ALRADE - "Please sit down, prosecutor, Mr. Travassos is the one speaking now."

THE SCOUT - "I claim this because this is what is happening."

TRAVASSOS - "But you left the CCFM before these negotiations were concluded."

THE SCOUT - "That's right. I got fired because I don't agree with what they have done."

TRAVASSOS - "But how can you tell us how these deals worked if you had no involvement with them?"

THE SCOUT - "I received the information from Urubupungá himself. I was supposed to negotiate with the other associations and arrange the dirty deals. I refused, and that's why I was obligated to leave the CCFM."

TRAVASSOS - "So this is some kind of revenge... Urubupungá fired you, and now you believe that Urubupungá deserves to pay for doing this with you... so you have decided to accuse them of making deals with false prices in order to steal money from the CCFM budget... but the point is: you had no involvement in these negotiations, you didn't follow them closely. In the end, you don't even know how these negotiations ended, or how they happened. Why should we believe you? This can be just a story invented so you can get your revenge against the ones who fired you, for the reason that your talent seemed to be weakening."

BUSTOS - "Travassos is right. The Scout wasn't the same for a long time, his advices weren't as good as before, and his bad experiences when coaching Nethertopia's National Team just turned things worse."

THE SCOUT - "Why should the jury believe me? The evidences show everything!"

LORD NAPLAS - "And there are a lot of them."

JUDGE ALRADE - "No doubt about that."

CASAVERDE - "If it weren't for the evidences, Travassos would have helped us a lot."

BUSTOS - "Yes, but I think the situation is the same as before."

TRAVASSOS - "No more questions."

JUDGE ALRADE - "Ms. Ferraz, lawyer of defendants Jonas Bigodinho and Marcos Jardins, do you have any questions for Mr. Scout?"

FERRAZ - "Yes, I do. Mr. Scout, I want to ask you about the participation of player agents like Mr. Jardins in the CCFM negotiations. Do they take active participation?"

THE SCOUT - "It all depends on the influence of the agent, and if he has any percentage of the player rights."

FERRAZ - "When you first make an offer to a player, declaring that the CCFM is willing to pay a certain price to his club in order to sign with him, is the agent involved?"

THE SCOUT - "Rarely in these cases. Only if it is the agent that contacts the CCFM willing to arrange a deal with his player, something that happens every transfer window. But, when the CCFM goes after a player and sends an offer to the club, the agent is just warned, but won't receive details."

FERRAZ - "And after that?"

THE SCOUT - "The agent will receive all the information that is sent to his player when the offer is accepted. Then they can discuss together their demands."

FERRAZ - "So the agent will have knowledge of the values involved?"

THE SCOUT - "Three situations possible: if he has a percentage of the player rights, he'll have full access and participation in the negotiations; if the agent has a percentage of the value paid to the team, he'll be contacted by the team, which will pay him the part he has to receive; if the agent doesn't have any of these rights, he'll only know the final price, without having access to the negotiation between the CCFM and the club."

JARDINS - "I took no part in the negotiations, only knew the final prices!"

LORD NAPLAS - "I doubt that."

FERRAZ - "Now about Jonas Bigodinho... do you know him?"

THE SCOUT - "Yes, I've met him before."

FERRAZ - "So, do you know why he was chosen to substitute you?"

THE SCOUT - "Basically it was because he is a good scout, and one that wouldn't have many demands in order to take the position in the National Team."

FERRAZ - "And do you believe he had any involvement with the illegal deals made by the CCFM?"

THE SCOUT - "Not an active involvement, but he knew that the negotiations he was participating in were illegal. He knew about Urubupungá's plans, but couldn't do anything against that. Urubupungá probably told him what he was intending to do..."

BIGODINHO - "Wait... he didn't tell me! During all this trial, I thought you were commenting about my participating because I was the messenger between the CCFM and the other associations... but I didn't know that the prices were different from the announced one to the real one! I swear! I just organized The Scout's list and arranged the link for the beginning of the negotiations, but didn't take part in them. I didn't even talked with the associations' representatives!"

LORD NAPLAS - "But we have evidences! Some messages you sent to associations of other countries establishing the negotiations!"

BIGODINHO - "I didn't send those messages!"

FERRAZ - "Wait, so there's something wrong here..."

JUDGE ALRADE - "Any more questions?"

FERRAZ - "No... I think something new appeared... I'll have to think how I'll clear this situation."

JUDGE ALRADE - "Two hours for lunch, and then we'll start hearing the defendants."


ALICE I - "So, is everyone here or will I have to explain it again later? I hope not, if anyone comes asking me about the operation, will have its head operated... out of its body!"

AGENT ZENON - "Everyone is here, Empress, ready to hear your orders. The entire Cafundelense Federal Police is at your disposal."

ALICE I - "Good. As you probably know, that dirty traitor, miserable criminal, coward ¨%%#$*! Carlos Alberto Urubupungá decided to run away... rather than fighting against the Empire at the court. This only proved that he is guilty of stealing money from me... I mean, the Empire. For me, that trial could end right now, but I'm not worried about this now. He fled from Cafundéu, and is a fugitive of the Empire now. I was even able to chase him, but without success..."

AGENT BIRO - "Do we have any idea of where he is now?"

ALICE I - "We're investigating this. We're arresting people we believe that have some involvement in his escape, and taking information from them. It's almost certain that he took a bus to Estresse Intenso."

AGENT ATALIBA - "If he went to Estresse Intenso, he can fly to any other country in Atlantian Oceania without problems."

ALICE I - "I know, but we have to track him, find him and SHOOT HIM! Well, I mean, take him back to Cafundéu."

AGENT ZENON - "He has the advantage right now, I'm afraid."

ALICE I - "I hope he died through bleeding... I shot his shoulder... I hope he is suffering from the pain!"

AGENT ATALIBA - "You shot him?"

ALICE I - "Yes, too bad he escaped."

AGENT BIRO - "My phone... maybe our intelligence unit has received some information about where Urubupungá is now..."

ALICE I - "Tell me fast!"

AGENT BIRO - "They believe he went to Allemenschen. According to them, he successfully entered Estresse Intenso, and attempted to travel to Sorthern Northland using a plane, but the plane was so old it fell in Allemenschen..."

ALICE I - "So he died! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

AGENT ATALIBA - "I'm afraid not. I have no idea about how did our friends at the intelligence unit know all this information, but if they were able to discover this, they would have discovered if he had died."

AGENT ZENON - "I know how they got this information. Due to the panic inside Allemenschen and the fact that Cafundéu had the most developed military technology of Atlantian Oceania according to the World Assembly, we were asked to create a surveillance system in that country, to immediately notice if the purple-stinging nellies start to invade neighbour countries in a massive number. The satellites probably got images of Urubupungá's plane."

ALICE I - "So he left the plane unharmed?"

AGENT BIRO - "This we don't know. But we sent some three kamikaze agents to Allemenschen to check if there were any bodies inside that plane... they found none. I believe he got harmed, maybe broke a bone... adding this with his shoulder wound, he is in pretty bad conditions."

AGENT ZENON - "And inside Allemenschen."

AGENT ATALIBA - "He'll die there, there is nothing to worry, my Empress."

ALICE I - "He may die there, he will probably die there, but this isn't certain. I want a team in Allemenschen to capture him!"

AGENT ZENON - "But, Empress, it is too dangerous... most of the agents are afraid to go there... the purple-stinging nellies..."

ALICE I - "So who do you prefer to face... me or the purple-stinging nellies? I think I can do very bad things to you..."

AGENT BIRO - "I'm packing my things right now."

AGENT ZENON - "Gasp! Me too... I just have to call my wife to say goodbye to her."

AGENT ATALIBA - "This woman is crazy!"

ALICE I - "What did you say?"

AGENT ATALIBA - "This mission is for the braves, I said! I'll travel to Allemenschen, right now... oh my God."
Jeru FC
25-05-2009, 02:39
Kaye: !@#$% !@#$% !@#$% !@#$% !@#$% !@#$% ...
Count: Hey calm down.
Julie: Kaye is quite subtle with her language.
Count: Well, we did lose 4-2 to the Han. Wasn't much better than the 4-1 loss last time.

Kaye: !@#$% !@#$% !@#$% !@#$% !@#$% !@#$% ...
Julie: She's in a good mood.
Count: It's not your fault Kaye. It's a team effort remember.
Kaye: I know.

Julie: Hey, I did my bit! I scored a goal. Talk to stupid so-called defense.
Kaye: Oh them, it's their fault. I mean when the Han attacked, they run like girls.
Julie: Or just pretend to be statues.
Count: That's mean, they do actually make some impact.

Kaye: How is the midfield supposed to attack when it cannot trust the defense to keep shape?
Julie: It'd be nice to get ball so we can have a chance to score.
Kaye: You're not exactly a Marie though.
Julie: Look who's talking? You're no Dazza Dallas either.

Count: Girls, calm down. Look, we've lost. We must beat Ad'ihan and Newmanistan now.
Kaye: We're not as good as Ad'ihan. They beat our friends Newmanistan.
Julie: I mean the only team we can beat is ironically Newmanistan.

Count: Look, we can beat both of them. You just need to believe you can.
Kaye: What is with the Han following us around! I mean, it's either Han or the Purple Menace.
Julie: Yeah, it's RIGGED.
Count: We have accept what fate judges. I mean, we can't have everything going our way.

Julie: Hey, heard about what Kaye did recently?
Count: Oh, no. I'm a bit slow with these things.
Julie: She tried chatting our dear leader with no pants on.
Kaye: I didn't that on purpose!

Count: Was he offended?
Kaye: He was good about it. I mean, his mother is a Dallas.
Julie: Well, I'll have go one better than.
Count: Behave yourself, we don't want you two throwing yourselves at him.

Kaye: You were talking to a young lady. Hanna right?
Count: Oh that was a Bostopian, Hanna Jeffers.
Julie: That's Hikfie Dallas's girl aka Hanna Dallas.
Count: Explans why she was in Jeruselem.

Kaye: What's she do for a living?
count: Apparently, she's training to be Doctor.
Kaye: Smart family, I mean there's a lot of clever people in the Dallas family. Unlike my family ... brain-dead low-class alcholic scum cellar-dwelling pond-filth ...
Julie: Poor Kaye. What are you then?

Kaye: The pond skater living on the pond.
Count: You put yourself down too much.
Julie: She's always going under someone though.
Kaye: Hey, speak for yourself slut.
25-05-2009, 04:05
World Cup 46 Qualification - Group 12 (Q) 1st
PRQ: vs 1-0 [99] Norwellia (@ Sanhaemun Football Stadium, Cheonjin - 60,000)
MD1: vs 4-1 [24] Jeru FC (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira - 55,000)
MD2: @ 1-0 [84] Kagdazka (@ kak po russky...?)
MD3: vs 5-1 [110] The Bear Islands (@ Potala, Lasa - 34,000)
MD4: @ 4-1 [132] Threetime (@ Triple Trisomy?)
MD5: vs 1-0 [57] Quintessence of Dust (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong - 150,000)
MQ: @ [33] 2-3 Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colesseum - a lot of small people)
MD6: @ 3-3 [24] Jeru FC (@ barbarians' hut)
MD7: vs 7-0 [84] Kagdazka (@ Silk Road Stadium, Seoan - 56,000)
MD8: @ 0-0 [110] The Bear Islands (@ GAH! BARS! ... oh, that's bears, nvm...)
MD9: vs 3-1 [132] Threetime (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong - 65,000)
MD10: @ 1-2 [57] Quintessence of Dust (@ Arena of Dreams, Nowy Orpington - at least there isn't any trash here)
PTQ: vs 1-1 Sarzonia (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium, Hangyeong - 200,000)
World Cup 46 - Group A
MD1: vs 4-2 [20] Jeru FC (@ Stade des Îles, Ad’ihan - 92,000)
MD2: vs [14] Ad'ihan (@ Bridge Road, Oldbridge - 64,000)
MD3: vs [33] Newmanistan (@ Bridge Road, Oldbridge - 64,000)
R32: ??? (@ ??? - ###)

*** Somewhere Secret ***

A noise came out from behind the locked doors. A good number of guards stood by, as they waited for the doors to open. And they opened slowly. But when they finally revealed the hosts inside, they were surprised to find the Emperor, alive and straggling with just a man on his back.

The guards forgot their place and immediately bowed.

"Emperor! What happened?"

The Emperor collapsed to the floor, with the man, bleeding from serious wounds, upon his back still. Uncertain as to what to do, they brought the Emperor up to the top level, where the infirmary took care to the Emperor's exhaustion and injuries. The man that he had carried was a member of the Emperor's personal Hwarang guard, kept just barely alive perhaps by a generous blood donation using a questionably sterile tube. How could the Emperor perform such an action? And if the Emperor was the man who did it, where was his injury indicating such activity? There were questions to be asked, and the only man who knew it best was lying unconscious upon a bed. The only other man who possibly knew was also unconscious, and what he knew seemed less than what the Emperor knew.

It turned out that a good five hours was good enough for the Emperor to regain enough consciousness. Immediately, Marquis Yi Jongmu arrived with a folder in hand. He didn't like the preliminary reports that the survey showed.

"MI has revealed that there was a firefight down there," the Defense Minister said plainly. "What happened?"

"I was there to interrogate our prisoner," the Emperor replied. "I had a successful interrogation."

"I see. At the expense of some 16 citizens?"

"The firefight was difficult. We were traveling somewhere down in Sector 4, when we encountered guards trying to contain the prisoner. The prisoner was contained behind a thick plated door, controlling access to the room and all other rooms. He also managed to steal some armaments. I thought that the best solution would have been to talk to the man sensibly."

"What did you say?" Marquis Yi asked.

The Emperor reflected on that briefly. In that moment, the events flashed before him. He stood down there with his men, stepping out in front of them, so as to be the first to receive the blows if the man chose to start a fight. He slowly approached the chamber room - he knocked politely.

"I am here," he said. "What seems to be your problem?"

"Me?" Jang replied. "I have no problems. It is you who has the problem."

"What is my problem?"


"Well, your problem is my problem. You were once a citizen, respected. Then you killed man - an important man. Now you have killed another foreign man. Or woman. Does not matter, but it seems that you have a knack for escaping exile to kill a foreign dignitary."

Jang shook his head. "I hardly find it reasonable. You hold me accountable for the death of a man whose legacy is well celebrated, and a woman whose legacy is equally so. But will you hold me accountable for the death of a man whose legacy includes neither the rule of law nor the distinguishable career of a lifetime in public servitude?"

The Emperor was confused at that remark. To whom was he referring?

"Three nights before I killed the Daeweongun, I encountered a host of nasty individuals. I confronted them and killed one of them. I beat his brains out with a rusted steel rod. Does it make any difference that I've killed him? Will you hold me accountable for that man's death?"

The Emperor shook his head. "Of course. A death in my family is as much of my kin as it is of my people."

"Bullshit," Jang said, emerging from his lair. The guards had their weapons at the ready, but the Emperor held hand high.

"I have the concern for my people," the Emperor said to the criminal. Jang would not buy it.

"I was stuck in a flimsy apartment complex that seldom gets what it needs for a day. Meanwhile, I hear about Samseong, spending millions of money trying to market its brand. Cell phones, PDAs, TVs, laptops, the works! And they spend more money on refitting some foreign sports club, meanwhile, I'm eeking out a living in the armpits of the Imperial capital - I hardly think that you have my concerns in your heart, while all of these jaebeol steal our money and siphon it away to their private enterprises."

"I can't tell you where to spend your money," the Emperor said. "As long as you're not creating an Imperial security crisis, that is."

"Well, there are people who could use the foreign investment. While they get richer, millions suffer from starvation!"

The Emperor shook his head. "I think you should check your statistics again," he said. "I personally oversee the census reports. All of my citizens are well-provided for. My citizens are cared for. They have food, they have shelter, they have healthcare. They are generally happy, barring some extraneous circumstance that diverts their merriment."

"Bullshit," Jang said, aiming his weapon, even closer to the Emperor's head. The guards still held their aim tightly to the man's head, even as the Emperor continued to hold them at bay. "I'm living proof!"

"I speak of my citizens," the Emperor said. "My citizens, I care for them."

"I've seen these ghetto places. Your advisers are blinding you if you think that they are providing you the truth. The truth is that there are citizens who suffer as much as any person does elsewhere. And in the Empire, there are plenty of people who lack even their basic needs. You are ignorant if you believe that all is well within this land."

"Very well," the Emperor said, flustered clearly by this man's remarks. "What have you to say of your endeavors to rectify this situation?"

"I have spent a long time now," he replied. "I saw first to kill you, and institute the ideal world, the revocation of a government that actively siphons its attention from the poor and gives it readily to the rich. And you - you were the object of my intentions. I missed by grace that first time, but when I shot the woman, I did not miss. In truth, who died there did not matter. It was only a matter of killing someone. The fact that she was a life-long whore for some corrupt organization is only a plus. But the object was to find myself within your grasp. And now we are here, my plans to fruition. You and I - we have much to settle."

"Well... I must make my inquiry plain then. How did you come to this habit?"

"I will neither say nor indulge your wishes," Jang said.

"This is my house," the Emperor said. "You're here on my graces."

"This is my refuge," the man replied. In an instant, he would have fired, but the Emperor instinctively reacted to seeing Jang's finger move upon the trigger. Whether or not the trigger was pressed or not was a matter beyond him - but the fact was that the Emperor's foot very rapidly lifted the gun up into the air, while a bullet left the chamber at an odd angle, while found its way into the mass of soldiers that stood behind the Emperor. In that instant, the fight began and it devolved into a cacophony of misguided shots. In the end, nearly all of the guards were dead, the one whom they sought to kill was dying, and the Emperor lied near the injured gravely.

"... and then I brought him back up to the surface."

"You?" Marquis Yi asked. The soldier nodded. This didn't quit link up with what the Emperor had said, nor with what happened when they met with the Emperor.

"Well... I did not take him the whole way. We went back up the chambers. The Emperor wanted to ask the man more questions, but he was silent. I urged the Emperor to move on, but he insisted in getting answers. When he could get no answer, he shot the man in the head. I think the event hurt him more than I imagined, but I cannot quite judge the Emperor's state of mind at the moment. He was seemingly surreal throughout the whole ordeal."

"How did you fall upon the Emperor's back then?"

"It was circumstance," the soldier replied. "I was losing blood quickly, and the Emperor - seeing no opportunity to rescue the lost blood, tried to perform a makeshift transfusion, directly infusing his blood with mine. But we both had lost much blood, that it was pretty pointless by then. The only thing that we could hope for was that we would make it through. After the half-way mark, only the Emperor had the strength left to carry on. And... I must confess that I passed out not long after then."

The Defense Minister nodded. The account did not match completely, but then again, most testimony rarely linked up perfectly. It would satisfy the Hwarang's inquiry into the matter. There remained the mystery about how this all came about and how to prevent such an incident from happening in the future. But as the affair was largely internal and secret, the truth was that the events - herein told - never really occurred. And though the Emperor may walk with a limp now, he never engaged an enemy of the state. And the fate of the man is largely unknown. His remains thoroughly burned now, there would be no proof that he had any sort of last stand for whatever cause he stood. In the end, it was fiasco of intelligence.

One could only hope that it would never happen.

*** Somewhere - I don't know, use your imagination! ***

Kim woke up. Usually, when he woke up, there were loud shouts everywhere. It was hard to go to sleep, since those rascals would make noises either playing that stupid game or shooting paintballs all over the place. When he woke, the doors of the halls would be covered with globs of paint (sometimes the glow-in-the-dark variety), and he'd spend a few hours trying to clean it off. After all, he was the landlord, and landlords seldom like to have their houses covered in globs of paint (especially the glow-in-the-dark variety). Interestingly, he'd ask those same hoodlums for the rent due, and they'd disappear for a few days before coming back again. In the interest of keeping a quiet place, he'd ask for the rent money and he'd have the best rest for the next few nights. But on this night, he didn't ask for anything. Maybe they found a new place to live in? Not likely, but then again, there would be the young lady and her family. Her little baby girl was always crying, and if it wasn't the paintball dudes spewing their non-sense all over the walls, it was the baby girl. This young lady was trying to raise a family alone, ever since her husband disappeared. They say he died at war, but having had no wars recently, it was an unlikely story. More likely, she got pregnant and the father ran away. In an morally bankrupt society, it was the usual recourse for a man wanting freedom from responsibility. And the young woman, seeking to save face, would claim that he'd died honorably, more honorably than what they'd deserve in life. But the girl was not crying, there was no stomping off the feet. It was eerily quiet.

Too quiet.

Kim hardly changed his clothed from sleep, risking ridicule by his neighbors for emerging from his lair so scantily clothed. But he wanted proof that they were still there. After all, he had never heard the apartments so quiet before. He opened the door slowly, just catching a glimpse of the halls. A spooky haze filled the air as the sunrise light filtered through the window at the end of the hall. He opened the door and walked down, barefoot against the creaking floors. He yawned, as if he could help not yawning so early in the morning. The walls were meticulously clean. Too clean. He went over to the window - the haze was actually a really thick fog. But even though he couldn't see the street, he usually could hear the cars moving up and down the road. It was silent. Odd. Maybe it was a holiday. Not that he recalled though - the calendars didn't indicate anything significant beyond some obscure "bring your towel to work" ordeal.

Kim walked back, almost boldly now. He scratched his back as he crawled back into his abode. There was likely a reason for this to happen. As he started to clean up, he turned on the TV. He went back to his sink to brush his teeth, but as he started to run the water, the faint sound of static filled the room. He was brushing his teeth while he went back out into the living room area, face to face with a blank TV screen and a monotonous screech. So far, it was the only living indication that it was real. He heard the TV, he saw the screen. Where the %$#^ was everybody?

He heard a knock at the door.

It surprised him. He thought that everyone was gone. He yelled at the door, "I'll be right there." He went back to the sink and spit out his brushing, washing it out slowly. He had no reason to be hasty at that point. As he returned to the living room area, he put on a shirt and headed to the door. He peeped out the peep hole. No one was standing there. He slowly opened the door. Maybe it was all just a big joke? Maybe those freaks were trying to get him with their new set of paintballs? If so, it was a very very elaborate prank. He went outside again, wondering who just knocked on his door. He wiped his wet hands on his shirt, gazing up and down the halls. The haze was slowly starting to fade, but the ever-present silhouette of the outdoor buildings was hardly mistakable for anything else.

Kim shrugged his shoulders. It was perhaps just something frapping across the window outside. After all, it was too quiet to notice anything else. He went back inside to fix up some trousers and get set to his work. No sooner did he open his dresser than did the knocks come back at his door. He said nothing this time, thinking that whoever was playing with him was just trying to annoy him. This was ridiculous. They figure that he's the only person around, and they're going to play pranks with him? He put on his trousers, fitting it to size with a black canvas belt. He also put on a short-brimmed cap as he headed to the door.

"Who is it?" he said, as he opened the door again. No one. Again. This was ridiculous.

He closed the door and went back to his bed area, where he could put on his shoes for the journey. He turned on the radio, hoping that the radio was working better than the TV. He tried scanning the air waves, but even they were silent with static. This was just too elaborate to be a joke. Maybe something had happened? Maybe the country was at war? Maybe this was a dream? He pinched himself, but he couldn't quite feel it. He decided to smack himself with a spatula, but it wasn't hard enough. So he used a frying pan - well... to say the least, he knew he was awake then. After recovering from that little episode, the knock came at the door again. By then, Kim was furious. He rushed to the door, and started to yell. He opened the door and was greeted with a strangely decorated fellow who was gaping wide-eyed with a smile across his face. His face was colored white, with a bright red nose. And while he lacked the costume of a clown, he just seemed the very embodiment of an evil circus freak who intended to do much harm to Kim. And just as this chap was to come upon him, Kim slammed the door shut.

Now he was scared.

He looked through the peep-hole. Gone? How could that be? He stopped every movement of his body, to listen for evidence of walking. The floors did not creak. Nothing. Now he was afraid. He reached into his pocket for his cell phone, and tried calling his friends, his family. No one was answering him. What the %$#^ was going on now? This wasn't funny anymore.

"What is going on?" he asked himself, hoping that he could rationalize the situation. "No one is answering me. No one is here. There's nothing making any sounds. It's as if the world's ended, and I'm the only one left, and now I'm stuck with some freak who appears and disappears!"

The door knocked again. Kim fell silent. No creaks, no sounds. Kim traversed the room slowly and quietly, just to take a peep through the peephole. He hoped that this was just a big joke. Maybe his friends were playing a joke on him. He gazed through the glass frame, and saw the very apparition that was at his doorstep a while ago. And this time, he made a very loud noise. "I SEE YOU!" the clown said in a jippy high-pitched noise. It sounded very happy and funny, but Kim was not laughing. He stepped back from the door, as whoever or whatever it was started to rattle the door frame. At that moment, Kim sincerely wished that he had some type of weapon, beyond his kitchen knives. Wait - he also had a club. So he wished that he had more than just knives and clubs. After a minute or so, the rattling stopped, and Kim was left in his living room, huddling on his couch, waiting to hear for signs of friendly civilization.

But no such sounds came.

He Can't Even Get That Right!

AD'IHAN - And so the Han win 4-2 against Jeru FC. Big Deal. Instead of cheering him on for winning the first match of the World Cup, we're going to nail him on putting in Bong Junho for that slanderous episode, after Kim Jongguk walked off the pitch with a bloody nose, no thanks to some idiotic penalty shot that broke his face. And that - by the way - was probably the save that set us all up for the win. We'll take it from the top.

The day really began when the referee blew the wrong whistle. It was a humorous display, and no doubt the Ad'ihani officials wagged their fingers about the whole affair, but nothing could really discount the fact that the referee blew a banana (literally). And I'm not sure what a banana whistle is supposed to sound like, but it does make a sound. Jeong Jihun made the pass to Kim Mihyeon, who - with the ball at hand - gazed awkwardly at the ref for about ten seconds, before realizing that that was the whistle, and already two Jeru FC blokes choking her escape. She passed back to Baek Jihun, who was also waiting for the first whistle. Already under pressure by Jeru FC players, Baek passed back to Kim Yongji, standing the box drinking a bottle of water (also thinking that the whistle hadn't been blown). The ball came flying at him, and lacking the state of mind to react properly, he grabbed the ball. He passed the ball back up the center of the pitch, only to come face to face with the referee, who handed him a yellow card for handling the ball in the box. What an inglorious way to start the match. And despite the protests of Han players, the referee pointed to the spot, and paved the way for Kim Jongguk's miraculous save. The giant blob of mass that was the Jeru FC striker went up and kicked the ball with such a force that even though Kim Jongguk stopped the ball firmly with his hands, the ball went through and smacked him in the face. His nose bleeding now, Kim tossed the ball out for a corner kick. What would have been an ordinary nose bleed turning into a gory ordeal as the medics tried to figure out a way to stop the bleeding from going through his mouth. In the end, Bong Junho got a go-ahead from Ioshido, apparently not so pleased with the substitution so early in the match.

Thank goodness that was only the start, because after that corner kick, things turned normal really quickly. First, Baek Jihun set up Jeong Jihun for a monumental goal from just six meters out - except he missed the net completely and the ball skyrocketed up to the stands, where the ball knocked out a lamp from a fan's hands. That incident started a little fire in the stands, which the Ad'ihani officials - already wary by a shaky start - quickly quenched and thereafter apprehended any flammable objects already in flames. Thankfully, we didn't have to wait much longer for Baek Jihun to set up another attempt that found its mark. And Jeong Jihun started a wonderful scoring run, scoring again just before the interval. And that's when things started to turn for the worse. Kim Mihyeon, on stopping a shot by the ever portly sheila, found herself out of breath. Whereas on other days she would have just stood up without much fuss, she really was knocked out. And that led to another substitution by Ioshido Toki, another early one. Shin Ganyak came on, and Jeru FC suddenly stormed back with a goal just minutes later. What compounded that misery was the fact that Kim Yongji - hoping to avoid get another yellow card for that SLANI hand ball earlier, misjudged a strike by the seemingly perennially drunk Julia Pilsner (sounds like beer! :) makes me happy), leaving Bong Junho exposed to even up the game with just half an hour to go. Ioshido Toki, using all three substitutes now to bring on Hui Yongjun for Kim Yongji - and not because Kim was doing any badly, but because he was running dangerously close to getting expelled from the match - was praying that Bong Junho would last out the match in the net.

And that seemingly turned the tide against Jeru FC as Baek Jihun misjudged a cross over to Yi Yeongpyo, whereupon the Jeru FC keeper also misjudged the pass and missed the ball sliding into the net off the post. 3-2!!!!!!!!!!!! 3-2!!!!!!! Just thirty minutes to go!!! And well, thirty minutes did seem like an eternity, especially after Kim Jinsaek gave an extremely harsh foul on the portly sheila - fortunately, both she and he were off the pitch after that challenge. But facing Jeru FC 10 on 11 was just unnerving, especially with a one-goal margin. Jeong Jihun was tired, and Baek Jihun could only make chances while he had the ball. It fell to Shin Ganyak, who after recovering the ball off a failed corner kick in the 89th minute, passed out to An Pilrip, who sensed an opportunity. He dashed handsomely down the left flank, passing up to Jeong Jihun, who stole up for a one-on-one chance. Instead of taking the shot, Jeong (wisely) calculated that Shin would be up and passed out wide to let the young striker steal away the goal that would win the match. The crowd roared and ripped through the roof (well, figuratively that is - what, with there being no roof to begin with). And the referee managed to use the right whistle (I forget how he ended the first half or started the second).

So to recap - do not put Bong Junho in goal for the love of your life! True, Kim Yongji kinda fell off for that second goal, but he had an excuse not to tackle. Where was Bong? Probably pulling daisies from the side of the pitch (he's a fine gardener, I hear). That aside, I think we should try going for a more conservative 4-4-2 formation, rather than our usual 3-5-2. We've been exposed more and more on several occasions, and it's hurt us when we do get exposed, because our defense is thin, no matter how strong Kim Yongji may be (and he is strong). Doubtless, Ioshido Toki will be calculating the risks, but I think he's got two matches to make it count, and he's probably thinking that changing his tactics wouldn't go too well with the players (especially them midfielders, who already fight enough to get some playing time).

Time will only tell. In the meantime, no more banana whistles!

Goal Scorers
14 - Jeong Jihun (2)
8 - Kim Mihyeon
5 - Baek Jihun (1)
3 - Mun Seongmyeong, Pak Yongho, Shin Ganyak (1)
1 - Kim Gwangseok, Kim Yongji, An Pilrip, Hui Yongjun
25-05-2009, 05:33
Fromburg Free Press
World Cup 46 Coverage

A 2-1 victory over Vephrall, and the game was as close as the score indicates. A 27th minute goal from Cornelia Fuston, on a deflected corner kick gave the Pheonix an early lead, but the Auric Wolves would tie it up at 1-1 just 6 minutes later on a goal from Jehoepe Splebist. For the next 50 minutes, the score didn't change and niether did each team's battle.

Both sides made a subsitution in the 79th minute, with Shuke Wendelors coming in for a visibly tired Ock Boimoks, while Qazox countered with more offense, bringing in Audra Edelstein for an equally tired Brent Folks.

With Qazox in a 4-3-3 vs the Auric Wolves' usual 4-3-3, the addition of a fresh attacker proved the difference as Edelstien's continuous runs along the left sideline allowed Matilda Swords to slip by Sanani Taclik and score the winning goal in the 83rd minute.

Now comes another tough task, can Qazox mantain this momentum against Kosovoe, who were decisively beaten 3-0 by Valanora. If Qazox wins, and Valanora defeats Vephrall, by no means an easy task, then advancement would be secured before the meeting with Valanora. But first the Pheonix must concentrate on Kosovoe, and worry about the other things later.

THE Fromburg Free Press PRESENTS
The 3rd Biggest Moment/Event
in Black Oxen/Pheonix Footballing History
Date: July 12th, 1906
Location: Jinkton City Field, Quakmybush
Event/Moment: THE MELTDOWN
Other Nation involved: Geisenfried.
Result: 2-5 LOSS.

Editor Input: Qazox just needed a win, a draw, or a loss by exactly one goal to advance in World Cup 33...that is until THE MELTDOWN.

Reprint of event from National Archives:
QSPNFootball.Net Match Report:

QAZOX-2 Geisenfried- 5

One Freaking minute, that's all it took to send Qazox from advancement to utter shock, dispair and bewilderment. The 88th minute against Geisenfried will go down as the most shocking minute in the history of not only the World Cup, but in all sports ever.

Tonsheim of Greisenfried scored in the 26th minute to put them up 1-0, while at the same time in the TLC-Wentland match, which kicked off 5 minutes earlier the score was 1-0 in favor to Wentland, which still meant Qazox would be in. Jonathoin Sarafin scored to tie it up at 1-1 in the 37th with a blast from 25 yds out. While back at TLC-Wentland, they were at half 1-1.

Kyle Horton put Qazox up 2-1 in the 55th, and the Black Oxen faithful went bonkers as it seemed all was in place to advance to the next round. The TLC-Wentland match was now 2-1 in favorof TLC. But Tonsheim in the 74th tied it back up at 2-2, while the TLC-Wentland was tied at the same result.

Then came the MINUTE. After the Scoreboard showed WENT- 3 TLC- 2, the Black Oxen faithful began counting down, then insanity happened.

Tonsheim shot looking for the Hattrick, but Amsel was in position on the rebound and it was 3-2, but Qazox would still go on, on Goals Scored. On the ensuing possession, a misplayed ball led to a quick counter attack and in just 25 seconds the 2-2 game was 2-4. Qazox tried to press, but another bad pass leas to another counter and in a span of 59 seconds, a 2-2 draw turned into a 2-5 loss.

After the match, the QFC banned all reporters from the locker room, but reports from the stadium staff were that about 5 or 6 shots were fired, and most of the team ran from the locker room. It is unknown at this time what exactly transpired after the match, but a source close to the team claims that Greg Wolfen shot himself, after shooting at Head Coach Fernando Turek and a QFC Offical. Wolfen was transported to a local hospital, under unknown reasons. As more to this shocking story develops, we'll let you know.

Scoring Summary:
QAZOX: Sarafin (3)- 37', Horton (3) 55'
Geisenfried: Tonsheim- 26', 74'; Amsel 88', Genz 88', Fleischer 88'
TLC: None

THE Fromburg Free Press PRESENTS
The 3rd Best Player
in Black Oxen/Pheonix Footballing History

Player: Jonathon Sarafin
Played in: World Cups 33-34
Caps: 40
Goals: 34 (2nd most in team history)
Best Moment: Hat-trick vs. Vilita in WC33 Qualifiers, in agame that clinched the 2nd World Cup berth for Qazox.

Jonathon Sarafin was found dead at the age of 31 in 1911 of a drug overdose after missing a penalty kick for Lake Porter City in the QFL. On this list primarily due to the potential lost, as Sarafin could have played in at least 3 additional World Cups, and who knows how many more goals this player could havescored?
25-05-2009, 05:48
Coach Alexander Pappas was beaming as he entered the post match press conference, it was quite unnerving. Urias Halkias was not so happy, the skipper obviously exhausted and rather upset with the thrashing.

"Ahh, Mr. Pappas? What are your thoughts on the heavy loss?"

"Well I don't have many. This is after all a dream."

"Umm, a dream? What do you mean?"

"I mean I'm dreaming. I just dreamt we lost 7-3 now I'm at the press conference. I'll wake up soon."


"Okay. Urias, tough day?"

"Yeah it was really hard out there. Kura-Pelland played great football. That sub who came on was pretty special and we just didn't have any answers. Oh, it appears coach has suffered a bit of a breakdown, so I wouldn't pay too much attention to him."

"Obviously. What's the plan now after such a crushing defeat?"

"Back to basics I'd say. We've done pretty well with this new style, but tonight just got a bit carried away. That happens sometimes and we'll learn from it."

"George Theotokis seemed to be struggling out there before he was substituted, any word on him?"

"Yeah Georgy injured his knee at training after qualification, but passed a fitness test this morning. I guess he just wasn't quite there. I think it's pretty safe to say Lefteris Diakos will come into the starting line up for the Prux game."

"Talking of the Prux game, it's a bit of a must win isn't it?"

"Well at World Cup finals time all games are very important, but sure. We had hoped to maybe pick up a point from this game but with the loss the Prux game does get a bit do-or-die. I'm loo--"

"I'm not going to wake up, am I?"

"No coach."


With that the national coach stood up, looked around at the stunned reporters and made a swift exit. Halkias was a moment behind him, mumbling an apology before heading for the changing rooms. There was much work to do.


In Olympia.

It happened after the Kura-Pelland 6th goal. 5-3 was bad enough, but something about the 6th seemed to push President Catalinoff off the edge, literally. He fell out of his chair and landed on his side, clutching his chest. He was home alone and his wife was atleast an hour away. As he lay on he floor in immense pain, Kura-Pelland made it 7.

PQ Friendly:
@ Bears Armed 0-1.
Qualifying round one:
MD1: v Australiazia (Peisandros Basin, Delphi.) 5-0.
MD2: v Somewhereistonia (National Sports Arena, Olympia.) 3-1.
MD3: @ Edward City 2-0.
MD4: v Golgothastan (People of Ephesum Stadium, Ephesum.) 4-2.
MD5: @ Sorthern Northland 2-4.
MQ Friendly:
v Quintessence of Dust (Peisandros Basin, Delphi.) 2-0.
Qualifying round two:
MD6: @ Australiazia 5-2.
MD7: @ Somewhereistonia 1-1.
MD8: v Edward City (ATI Stadium, Thasos.) 1-0.
MD9: @ Golgothastan 1-1.
MD10: v Sorthern Northland (National Sports Arena, Olympia.) 1-1.
PQ Friendly:
@ Jeru FC 1-1.
WC Finals:
MD1: v Kura-Pelland (The Beachfront, Navon Beach.) 3-7.
MD2: v Prux (DuneDome, Navon Beach.)
MD3: v Starblaydia (DuneDome, Navon Beach.)
25-05-2009, 07:53
Dancougar News!!
Chocolate starring Jeeja Yanin. Watch it. No robots, I swear.
Just a tiny Thai woman destroying like a hundred guys.

Wings clip shooting Stars with timely heroics: Sarzonia will be wondering how their return to the World Cup did not end in a victory, while Shigeru Takeuchi will be pondering what changes need to be made for their matchup against the champs to end in something better than a thrashing.

Dancougar were outplayed for large stretches of their opener, but in the end, all it took was a few flashes of individual brilliance to secure a 1-0 victory at the Canada Stadium in Neorvins. The Dancougar defense continued its strong run of form by weathering a storm of attempts from the Sarzonians, who generated 17 shots on goal but only saw a third of them find the target. Artur Komarov passed the test, making six saves to preserve the clean sheet.

"Having faced that style of defense for several matches now, I think some of it rubbed off when they started to take command," said defender Tomo Asanuma. "We didn't want to make any mistakes due to aggression, so coach had us play a more patient style and just deny them space." Indeed, while the Stars dominated with 62% of possession, passing lanes were at a premium as play progressed into the Dancougar third.

Of course, that naturally meant that Dancougar needed to make the most of its forays into their opponent's end of the field, but they also faced a stiff defense. Ben Davis, assigned to mark Stefan Rosberg, kept his quarry quiet, limiting him to only two shots in the first half hour. Rosberg's partner in crime, Hiromasa Nagasawa, was unable to challenge Cody Taylor, nor did anyone. The Wings had just five shot attempts in the first half to Sarzonia's ten.

And yet they were the ones who scored.

Rosberg, who was unable to match his goalscoring pace from the previous tournament, was the man who got the breakthrough. In the 29th, a poor square ball by Stars midfielder George Morrison was intercepted by Kent Montego, who sparked a counterattack. He slid the ball to Shoji Ishino, who charged forward and made a cut towards the middle before leaving the ball for Rosberg, who'd slipped behind him on the overlap. Davis was a step behind and unable to close him down, giving Rosberg the time and space to beat Taylor with a low shot that brushed the near post.

"It was just bam-bam, and there wasn't much time to think because the play was developing so quickly," said Rosberg. "We were all crashing in to try and cash in fast off the turnover, and I was able to get some separation and [Ishino] made a great read inside."

It signaled the start of Dancougar's best run of possession in the match, and for roughly the next ten minutes they thoroughly tested Taylor in an attempt to increase the lead. Captain Dan Florentino came closest with a long-range free kick that Taylor appeared to lose in midair before regaining his composure and punching it wide for a harmless throw-in.

The Wings were unable to maintain their momentum, though, as Taylor's efforts galvanized the rest of the team into action. Shaking off Rosberg's goal as a fluke, they returned to their gameplan and showed the Wings a thing or two about offense. The featured battle was the war of the Matts - Sarzonia's forward Lynch against Dancougar's defender Bogart, who both play in the Cafundeu league. Just like Rosberg vs. Davis on the other end, the Lynch was given few opportunities to find the equalizer.

He had two golden opportunities, though, that saw intervention from both Komarov and Lady Luck. A corner kick set him up perfectly for a header, as he won the position battle inside the box and hit the ball strongly on target, only to be denied at full stretch by Komarov. His second effort came from long range. Frustrated with the inability of his team to find space inside the box, Lynch decided to shoot through the defense instead. It nearly worked, with his shot deflecting off Asanuma and behind the 'keeper. But it rattled the woodwork, which was as violently shaken as Komarov himself, who'd barely flinched.

"It was a very hard shot, and I couldn't react because it changed its flight so close to the goal," said Komarov. "I thought I had a good beat on the ball, and it ended up that all I could do was pray it would not go in."

In the end, the match looked so similar to the ones Dancougar had played in qualifying, but this time the roles were reversed. Then, it had been Dancougar doing all the attacking and coming away with nothing against teams like Landau Institute, Stargate Centurion, and Silexhera. This time, though, Dancougar adopted some of those defensive tactics as their own. It was tacit acceptance that the Stars were the more energetic team, which Takeuchi says will have to change if the Wings are to take anything from the defending champions.

"Candelaria and Marquez are a very strong team," he said. "We will have to show more fight and that's really where everything starts. All respect to Sarzonia, but if we play like this again, we will not win, as they are the world champions."

Cafundeu lessons rubbing off on midfielder: Dan Florentino says that his proudest day as a professional was not the day he was handed the Black Wing captaincy by Shigeru Takeuchi, but rather the day that he learned of his impending transfer to Porto Lacruz in the Cafundelense top flight.

"The D-League has found its place in the world pecking order, I think, and it's a good league," he said. "But if you play in a place like Cafundeu or Candelaria, then you've made it as a player here. That's the dream of everyone who laces up."

And why not? The competition has been intense, and Florentino wouldn't have it any other way. While he didn't have an explosive performance in World Cup 45 - one goal in qualifying and one in the group stage - he popped in goals with regularity for CF America Chuuoushi, which had drafted him from the University of Lunarossa after his sophomore year. He'd shown sparks of brilliance during Oxen Cup 9, including a goal against Krytenia in a 3-1 victory, and defied the predictions of many draft analysts by choosing to come out early.

He didn't disappoint, and he became the centerpiece of a midfield that would include Josef Rousch and Hiroshi Kaizuka, other college stars who would join Florentino in the national pool for World Cup 45. Chuuoushi's traditionally aggressive offense gave him an opportunity to show off his considerable ball skills and produce frequent fireworks, but defensive irresponsibility - not just on his part, but by the entire team - kept them from seriously challenging for international play.

"The team scores so many goals, but we'd always had problems keeping a lead," said Florentino. "It sucks the wind out of you, because you fight and fight, and you look at the table, and you're not going anywhere."

But Cafundeu scouts saw something they liked in Florentino's play, and following World Cup 45, he was acquired by Porto Lacruz, a middle-tier team in the Cafundeu first division which was creeping close to a top-six breakthrough. They narrowly missed out on the last Globe Cup after Florentino was inserted into an experienced midfield but was expected to contribute significantly. So far, so good.

His growth as a player, combined with his overseas experience, won him the captaincy of the national team before World Cup 46. The road has been a rocky one, and Florentino admits that he's not played up to the standards he's set for himself. Mental mistakes, missed passes, and squandered opportunities all contributed to a less-than-stellar qualification run. At times they seemed disinterested and listless, and Florentino's tireless runs and physical challenges took some time to inspire his team. But now that they're back in the World Cup, he says there's still a chance to turn things around.

"One thing I've learned from playing in Cafundeu is that there's always room for one more play, one more good chance that can swing the momentum," he said. "The quality of play is so high there, with so many good players on the field, so you always have to be on guard because these guys can turn it on in an instant. Naturally you're going to face the same kind of pressure when two countries send their best against each other."

He's already secured one piece of hardware with his new club - the State Champions' Cup, a long-standing tradition in Cafundeu that serves little purpose beyond boosting confidence and providing bragging rights against regional rivals. Nevertheless, it's an experience that has has Florentino digging deep for more energy and passion.

"That's what it takes to lift trophies," he said. "At any level."
26-05-2009, 01:16
Partner of Globo Multimedia

WORLD CUP 46 – full coverage
By Nílton Meves – in-game comments of Breno Gavião



The campaign of the Monopolists during the qualifying stage for World Cup 46 wasn’t closely followed by the population, which preferred to hear the news about Carlos Alberto Urubupungá’s trial and the rumours surrounding Empress Alice’s mental health situation than the victories of Cafundéu during qualifying. After all, it was believed that Cafundéu wouldn’t have difficulties in getting the qualification, and this is what happened, although the team had some bad results. Now, in the World Cup, the eyes of all the country’s citizens would finally turn to the National Team. Each touch, each move would be closely analyzed and commented by Cafundéu’s people, all confident in a good performance of the team. In the World Cup, each moment is unique, and the population reacts to them.

The “average guy”, when seeing the names of the countries that are going to face Cafundéu in the World Cup group stage, smiled. And most experts too. The group isn’t a difficult one, although some media sources say it is. But there is a lesson that has to be learned: no game is easy in a World Cup! And that’s probably the first mistake the Monopolists did today, and the Cafundéu population. When Breno Gavião started to say the names of the players entering in the field to play against Lovisa, the confidence on an easy win was absurd. It wasn’t difficult for you to hear people commentating inside bars phrases like: “Three goals only by Alves today!” or “Today the commemoration will last all night!” Of course, they weren’t expecting such a tough game… but they should have.

THE FIRST HALF: when the referee ordered the start of the game, Cafundéu worked towards dominating the ball possession on the midfield, keeping the ball ever in the attack. The exchange of passes was intense and interesting, with the team slowly gaining terrain and reaching the opponent’s area. But what the Cafundelenses weren’t expecting was the solid organization of Lovisa’s defence. Every time the Monopolists attempted to create a good scoring chance, the defenders worked well and halted the team’s moves. Crosses, through passes, one-twos, all the moves were successfully predicted and stopped by the defence, specially with the defence leader Sebastian Vilgoor, who plays in Cafundéu. Serrano was even close of scoring with a free kick, but the ball hit the bar.

While Cafundéu continued to apply pressure, although it was clear that this offensive approach wasn’t working, and was only tiring the Cafundelense players. Meanwhile, Lovisa started to show its strategy, starting to push its defence line, threatening the passes of the Monopolists in the midfield. With this, the Lovisa players were able to force some missed passes, starting some promising counterattacks. At Cafundéu, the supporters’ reactions to the difficulties their team was facing in the game were of surprise, and they started to worry about the fate of the game. Some were criticizing Veiga’s lack of understanding of the opponent’s tactics, as he didn’t change Cafundéu’s way of playing, while others remained confident, wanting to encourage others to keep the motivation towards the National Team. The first half ended with a goalless draw.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 1 (Lunz’s goal): “Ball is now with the rrrrright wing of the field, Harrrrrtwig contrrrrrolling it for Lovisa… pass to the midfield to Indgaarrrrrd, nice ball contrrrrrrol, effectively avoids Marrrrrcus Vinícius’s marrrrrking. Oh, no, look at what he has done! Spotted brrrrrrrilliantly Lunz in the attacking arrrrrrrea, he has only one defender to beat, makes the drrrrrribble over Datena, shoots… and it’s a goal! Goal for Lovisa! The scorrrrrrer is Lunz! Now the rrrrrresult is Lovisa one, Cafundéu zerrrrrrro! Want a nice drrrrrrink durrrrring a hot day? You know the answer for this: Guarrrrrrraná Muquirrrrrrana! Cheap, delicious and healthy! The favourrrrrrite drrrrrrrink of the Cafundelense population, available in nearrrrrly all kinds of storrrrrres, barrrrrs and rrrrrestaurrrrrants!”

THE SECOND HALF: for the second half, Andreas Gilsoweller Veiga made changes in the team to make the team even more offensive, with Pedrinho substituting the aging Silveira, captain of the team. In Cafundéu, it was reported that, in a bar in the centre of Lasft, a man outraged by the substitution threw a glass of beer on the television, breaking it. Veiga’s intention was easy to spot: continue holding the possession on the attacking area, but this time exploring more the wings. Unfortunately for the Cafundelenses, it seems that it had weakened the Monopolists’ defence. Indgaard could easily avoid Marcus Vinícius’s marking and, with an excellent pass to Lunz, set up the goal, as the attacker dribbled Datena and shot to score the goal.

Lovisa’s goal had a huge impact on the Monopolists. The players started to act in a desperate way, and the coach Gilsoweller Veiga even fought with the ball boy once while demanding him to collect the ball faster. On another moment, Renildo jumped to the stands to get a ball that went wide, only to put it back into play faster. There were no more tactics and elaborate strategies for the Cafundelenses in this game, they were attacking the way they could and thought was better, more with their hearts than with their heads. It seemed that this style wouldn’t help Cafundéu much, but after a long time, the Monopolists reached the goal with Paquetá, who fought for the ball against Hartwig, won it, exchanged passes with Nando and shot with all his strength. After the goal, both teams tried to get the win, but no more goals were seen.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 2 (Paquetá’s goal): “Cirrrrrrrillo with the ball, Lovisa can crrrrrreate a change now… ball taken by Datena, with a long shot to the other side of the field. The ball goes to Marrrrrrcus Vinícius, he battles for the ball against Tamme, both head it, no one has it in the end. Harrrrrrtwig contrrrrrrols… is tackled by Paquetá, good move, passes the ball to Nando, rrrrrreceives it back, can scorrrrrrre, shoots… look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Paquetá, number ten! Now the scorrrrrreline is Cafundéu one, Lovisa one! To make a perrrrrfect barrrrrrbecue, tasty… the kind of meat that only prrrrrrofessionals can make… you have to have a Ultimate Grrrrrrill 2000! Phone us rrrright now and orrrrder one, the ten firrrrrrst to call will get it for a prrrrrromotional prrrrrice!”

JORGE LANG’S INTERVIEWS: the first game of World Cup 46 for Cafundéu ended with a draw against Lovisa. Surely this wasn’t the result the team was expecting, and the disappointed faces could be easily noticed. The coach Andreas Gilsoweller Veiga commented: “We knew that no game was going to be easy and, given the circumstances, we did a good job in fighting back after suffering the first goal. We can’t play this way again, we must perform better in the next games to get the qualification.” Saviour of Cafundéu in the game, Paquetá, told the media: “They entered in the game with a prepared defence, they stopped all our attempts… we tried, tried, but couldn’t score, and suddenly they score first… that was disappointing, but predictable, I guess.”

SUPPORTERS’ REACTIONS: “A draw with Lovisa? This isn’t Cafundéu, can’t be!” – Most of the supporters were disappointed with the result, as they were expecting to commemorate a good start in the World Cup. But others kept the optimism: “This is just the first game, and Lovisa has a good team. I am sure the Monopolists will get positive results in the next games to take the qualification.” The more drunk ones already started to find the ones guilty for the team not winning the game: “That coach… Veiga… he is too young, the pressure is too big for him. And what about Hubert? Did nothing in the game, it seemed that he was walking on the field.” About the next game, all have the same opinion: “A win is necessary if we really want to win this World Cup.”


Place: Konoha Place, Burnaby.
Attendance: 59,000 people.
Time: 15:30 Cafundelense time (20:30 local time).
Climate: clear, 13ºC.
Referee: Hank De Merwin (Nethertopia).
Assistants: Erick Brass (Secristan) and Sandra Levi (Cassadaigua).
POTM: Sebastian Vilgoor (Lovisa).

CAFUNDÉU: Kardec; Rogério, Renildo, João Carlos and Datena; Silveira (Pedrinho 45’), Marcus Vinícius, Paquetá and Serrano (Matoso 70’); Alves and Hubert (Nando 63’).
Coach: Andreas Gilsoweller Veiga.

LOVISA: Sievers; Vilgoor, Hartwig and Moreux; Sandler, Tamme, Meehan (Biel 71’) and Indgaard; Lunz, Franke (Cirillo 45’) and Baecker (Kremer 60’).
Coach: Henryk Kasperczak.

Goal:CAF: Paquetá 78’.
LOV: Lunz 50’.


Line-up for the next game: Kardec; Rogério, Renildo, João Carlos and Datena; Silveira, Marcus Vinícius, Paquetá and Serrano; Alves and Hubert.
Coach: Andreas Gilsoweller Veiga.

Referee: Al Melchett (Krytenia).

WC goalscorers:

1- Paquetá
26-05-2009, 02:06
Purple Knights Lose Opener

Finally back after a 1 year hiatus after a promising season the Purple Knights opened their third World Cup Group Stage with a one to nil loss to the only other team from their Group to make it out of qualification. When the Knights qualify they always seem to be placed with a team they met in Qualification. This time their opponent was The Archregimancy who after defeating in a first half qualifying game, have now fallen to in two straight matches by the very score they wonthe other game by. After one day of play the Knights find themselves marred in third in the group with Bazalonia, and the Holy Empire coming up. It ,may be a good year for the Knights but it may be marred by aninability in the actual Cup.
26-05-2009, 04:50


City of Ad'ihan, Ad'ihan- The day had finally arrived, and now Newmanistan looked to pull off an upset in Group A by defeating the host nation of Ad'ihan. Coming into the game having won five of their last six matches, the Rockets seemed to be a pretty confident group, but all that wouldn't matter. While Newmanistan was qualifying, the home team sat back and relaxed and focused solely on their club sides. They were fresh, and ready to make a statement because their country wants nothing less then a World Cup, or at least, to come close. Ad'ihan and Newmanistan had never met, but tonight, that wouldn't matter. It would have been hard for anyone to have picked up a victory here on this night.

The Rockets came into the match wanting to emphasize physical play. For Ad'ihan is one country that has never experienced a rough Prescott tackle, and even though Billy's father Brett was never able to do so, Billy was excited to give them a taste of it. Nelson Yaschter had preached to his team that the Rockets needed to be a more physical team and to keep the game tight at the beginning. It was a good plan, it simply was not executed. Billy Prescott may have been a little too excited as he picked his first target to try and agitate. Lined up with captain Anthony Jones, he was the obvious choice, and soon it began. When the referee wasn't looking in the 2nd minute, a two-handed shove to the ground. He wanted Jones to retaliate, because that's why he does this kind of thing, and hope that the referee would see that. Jones simply got up and rejoined the play. About five minutes later, Prescott went in hard on Jones with a tackle that seemed clean
from our vantage point, but not from the referee's. In the 7th minute, Prescott was displayed a yellow card. Way too soon, and the crowd came to their feet in applause. The 30-year old veteran Jones hardly acknowledged Prescott. It was a lesson in the World Cup not just for Billy Prescott, but for the Rockets. Things are different here on this stage. In addition to being the captain of Ad'ihan, Jones plays for the highly successful Caires City club in the CMSC. Yaschter called off the aggressive style of play. Ad'ihan fed off the energy, and in the 11th minute, just what the Rockets did not want to happen would indeed occur. An early quick goal for the home side, buried by Greg Innisvale, to make it 1-nil. Shawn Loughran was the beaten defender on the play, and he looked a little flat-footed. Perhaps more jitters of inexperience.

The game carried on, and Ad'ihan was clearly the superior team and they knew it. Their passes were smooth and accurate, and there was little the Rockets could do about it. Billy Prescott was forced to play conservative and he hated that. Nick Roberts, who only started in the second half of qualifying, seemed a bit off. The Rockets got outstanding play from one of their defenders, that being Alex Lampert. Lampy was the best player on the pitch for the sky blue and white, but the solution for Ad'ihan on this was simply to avoid his side of the field. They did this on their 29th minute goal, and now the Rockets were in a 2-nil hole. Ad'ihan had a 66-34 possession advantage after the first half hour and had six shots on target already with the Rockets still looking for their first. The very small contingent of Rockets fans that were able to get tickets were silent, and mocked by their Ad'ihani neighbors. So far, the World Cup was not a very pleasurable experience. This is what we had waited so long for? Late in the first half, the Rockets showed some signs of life and did get three shots on goal, but this may have been more of a result of Ad'ihan letting up a bit. Jennifer Vilardi had a fantastic opportunity in the 42nd minute that Danny Evans put aside. Evans smiled. He knew he made a great save, but deep down he likely knew he was sending a message to the Rockets himself, "It's gonna be hard for you to get shots, and when you do, you still gotta get it by me! Good luck with that!" He clapped his hands in obvious confidence and his defenders responded. At halftime, the Rockets were down 2-0, and really looking out of it.

Yaschter tried to re-energize his team at halftime, and for a little while, it showed, and on a hunch he replaced Nick Roberts with Matthew Turner. Turner had slumped over the second half of qualifying and lost his starting job to Jeremy McAllister, Jr, and in replacing Roberts the Rockets switched to a 4-3-3 formation. Yaschter was hoping Turner’s youthful energy would carry the team, and him and Junior created some great opportunities. Chances in the 50th and 54th minutes may have gone in if it weren’t for that man in goal named Evans who was having a great game. Around the hour mark, Jennifer Vilardi finally beat Evans, however she did not beat the crossbar as her shot deflected off and bounced in front of the goal. Proving that today would be Ad’ihan’s day, the defense got to the ball first and cleared it out of danger. Around minute 70, the game settled in, and defeat was starting to look inevitable now, and some sloppiness took over. This led to Ad’ihan’s 77th minute score that gave them a three-goal advantage and served as the exclamation point on the victory. Newmanistan had no answer, and the defense of Ad’ihan ran off the rest of the clock without much difficulty.

For Newmanistan, there will be good and bad memories. This game will always be remembered as our first World Cup game, that is the good news and about all of it that we can think of at this point. Pretty much everything else associated with this game, as far as we are concerned, is a negative. It is hard to say that Newmanistan played a poor game, however. No, they weren’t at their best, but Ad’ihan played like a team on a mission. They are a higher ranked team, and they showed us why. Up next will be Jeru FC, and with this experience behind them, Newmanistan will look for a better performance.
Jeru FC
26-05-2009, 05:29
Dear Billy

Bad luck with Newmanistan losing Ah'ihan here. Well, at least you are in the World Cup finals unlike me who are waiting for the Cup of Harmony. I watched the game against Ad'ihan and you were just outclassed. Jeru FC got clobbered by then Han 4-2 but at least Jeru FC put up a fight against the Han.

I know you play Jeru FC next. I want to support Newmanistan but since Jeruselem aren't in the finals and all we have left is Jeru FC, I want to support Jeru FC. The loser of this game is out and I want both teams to make but I know it will not happen. A draw wouldn't help any team so I hope it's a win to either.

I know the much maligned Jeru FC will find it hard to make the 2nd round as would Newmanistan. I'd like to support both teams but you know in a game like this, it's hard. One of the "Han" teams will make the 2nd round or even both of them.

I guess you must win this game for your team, because it's what any loyal football player will do. Jeru FC isn't going to let your team win easily as they are represent Jeruselem as our sole finals team.

I know the Newmanistam team don't want to be playing Jeru FC (aka Jeruselem II team) at this stage. Jeru FC would prefer to play someone else (unless it's Starblaydia ...) as well. But some **** put the two teams in the same group.

Oh, Mary the duck says hello. Well, she quacked ...

Good luck

Oksana "Pups" Ferris
26-05-2009, 05:52
Griffinville Gazette

A 1-0 loss to Starblaydia is not a bad thing.

For 76 minutes, the Canines held the 4-time champs scoreless, but a goal from Valrauncion gave The Purple Peril, the victory. After the game, Raúl Valdano was given a rabies shot, as Princess nipped at his heel during the post-game paw/hand shakes.

Up next for Prux is a battle against Peisandros at the DuneDome in Navon Beach. This match-up appears to be the best chance of a victory, but Peisandros wouldn't be here in Ad'ihan if they weren't good enough.
The Macabees
26-05-2009, 06:25
Golden-Whites out of their league

After a stellar close to the World Cup qualifiers, where the Imperial squad maintained itself at the top of its group and managed a twenty rank jump on the world tables (from sixty-fifth to forty-first), things have begun to finally end how they probably should. The Golden-Whites fell 2–0 to Capitalizt SLANI, earning them the last spot in Group F, one point south of Lovisa and Cafundéu. Making it out of the group stage of the World Cup will be a tall order for one of the most poorly ranked teams which qualified this World Cup (second to last, thanks to Gordon Bay City). Nevertheless, the Macabee National Football Team, as usual, have reiterated their intentions of fighting until the end and working on the field to achieve victory. Anything less would simply not be very Macabee-like!

However, manager Tíer Bergán gave a very different set of objectives during the press conference, after the game against Capitalizt SLANI:

"It is important to realize that the team has done more than what was originally asked for it. Like I have said earlier in my life, that is not reason to give up. We will continue to fight. But, our ambitions lie elsewhere than the round of sixteen. We should strive to move through the ranks, towards first, and hopefully make our way to the top forty. This will give us a lot of options in the upcoming qualifiers for World Cup 47, and will also provide some reputation to precede us in the upcoming Díenstad Cup. As long as we continue to rise through the ranks, we know that the team is progressing skill and capabilities. This will be important when it comes to qualifying in upcoming world cup matches."

He made the objectives clear:

"In other words, I am focusing on developing a team that will be capable of qualifying for future world cups and preform much better during the finals. That should be our goal, not a temporary run to the round of sixteen."

When asked about his view of his own future managing the team, he said:

"Look, right now that doesn't matter. I confide in the team's new owners to make the correct choice when it comes to choosing the team's staff. We have done very well this year; better than many would have supposed we would have done. Indeed, we came up on top of both Yafor and Newmanistan, which were ranked higher than us. Indeed, Yafor, at the time, was in the top twenty. However, I feel that should I be replaced due to failure during these world cup finals, or failures in the future, my successor will be just as farsighted as I am. I trust in all manager's abilities to see what is best for their team. Besides, the fact that this team is now privatized means that we will see an increase in efficiency, as the team's success is imperative for its survival as an economic entity."

The Macabee National Football Team will be facing Lovisa in the Macquarie Docklands Stadium, in Latrobe, Kelssek. Tens of thousands of Macabee fans have traveled to Kelssek to watch their team play in the finals. Yesterday's match against Capitalizt SLANI was watched by an estimated twenty-five thousand nationals, all waving the Imperial colors and supporting their players. Lovisa drew with Cafundéu in the opening match of the group stage of the World Cup finals. The Golden-Whites are hoping for a little help from Fortune herself in a bid to reverse the team's fate and perhaps qualify for the round of sixteen. This would require a win against Lovisa and a win against Cafundéu; otherwise, the team will be taking a quiet flight home. In regards to the game, Bergán said:

"We are not delusional, and we understand the difficulty presented in defeating Lovisa. But, that's what everyone said in regards to us defeating Yafor and Newmanistan, and look what happened. Nothing is impossible. Everybody can be sure of the fact that we will be hustling on the field, and the players will be doing their damned best to win that game. Although we are looking forward to the far future, that doesn't mean that we do not look forward to temporary victory. Any win is a good win. We are not just pinning our hopes on the present. We understand that we are the underdogs, and underdogs are underdogs for a reason. Let's not kid ourselves."

We look forward to see what Tíer Bergán as his troop of football atheletes can do.
Elves Security Forces
26-05-2009, 06:48
"Hey! You there! Stop or I'll be forced to shoot."

As the light drizzle soaked the sidewalks and grass around The White Tree Museum, a hooded figure was seen fleeing the premises, with something firmly gripped in his hand. Trailing after him where a pair of security guards, one with their weapon drawn and ready to fire upon the fleeing subject. When the subject refused to the command to halt, the guard pulled the trigger, aiming for the shoulder of the figure. Just at the same moment, they slipped on the soaked pavement and skidded across the sidewalk, with the bullet flying well above them. Quickly scrambling to their feet, they reached the corner of the street and turned, fleeing as fast as they could, with the two guards in quick pursuit.

The rain was playing a factor in the pursuit and as they continued to weave in and out of the streets, the drizzle started to become a downpour. The thief seemed to know the area and path they were taking by heart, while the guards where doing their past just to follow them in the conditions. With their visibility now coming only as far as a few feet ahead of them, the thief eventually lost them, but continued on, further into the heart of Gladerial. Inside The Montest, a luxury hotel, sat waiting Tobias Raynor, waiting for his package to be delivered. It had been two months now since he had left the fortress that was the Raynor family mansion, not showing his face in the country during that entire time. It was as if he had vanished into thin air, leaving no trace of where he had gone but the note that said he was leaving, and promising no return date.

Only now did he show up in the old capital of the ESF, inside the very hotel where he had been wined and dined by his wife those nine years ago. No one knew this place better than he, as he eventually bought it for her, as a gesture that their love was in their own hands. He had been given the blueprints to the place, as well as interviewing each and every employee. Those that where not loyal to him were replaced, as even then he knew that he one day might be in need of a hide away. What better place to hide than in plain sight and at a building you own?

He was there, inside the restaurant, waiting for his package to be delivered. He had hired the runner from his contacts within the military. She had come highly recommended from the Special Operations unit, having once destroyed an entire base by herself with nothing but two rocks, a lamp, some tape, and a potato knife. He was confident that within the hour she would be here, with the artifact he needed, and he would be on his way. A quick nervous glance at the wall clock was all for show, as the staff had sealed off the restaurant portion of the hotel apart from Tobias and his expected guest, with them having little faith that she would accomplish her goal. He wanted to show some sign of weakness, some doubt, to give them comfort in their own beliefs. Suddenly an employee came rushing in, with a dubious smile on his face.

"They did it, with relative ease. Beautiful and dangerous all the same, simply breathtaking milord!"

"So, she is here then?"

The employee shook his head no, and quickly explained, "No, not yet milord. I am talking about the Marauders and their first match against Kosovoe. A complete and utter demolition, three to nil!"

The former VFA President smiled, knowing full well that while the employee was momentarily elated, it was not something that would last. That was another reason he had set forth on this mission, for though the national teams were dear to him as well, they would never give the nation itself satisfaction. For as much as they would desire to believe so, the accomplishments of those teams are not theirs, not earned by their sweat, blood, and tears. In the end, that was the difference between momentary elation, and the never ending satisfaction of your accomplishments. The nations would be better served in taking pride in those triumphs of the national sports teams, not view them as their own earnings.

Then the words he had been waiting the past few hours to here were finally uttered,
"She's here..."
26-05-2009, 09:00
The news producer stared at the script.

Kelssek has prevailed in its opening game of the 46th World Cup, the first to be held in Kelssek. At Exhibition Place stadium, selected to host the opening match despite its small capacity as the national team's home ground, Kelssek beat Gordon Bay City 1-0 with a goal from Ian Sinclair.

"Can't you make it more interesting? That's so bloody standard. I mean, come on, we were playing against fairies or something and that's the best you can do?"


Home advantage is
The way to get to see if
You are truly home

The writer rolled his eyes, trembling slightly from the amount of coffee he had consumed before coming to work. "Well... what would you suggest? It's to go into the script for news bulletins, for god's sake. We can't have it 10 minutes long speculating about what the fairies are like or what it actually would have involved, playing against them."

"Really. Why not?"

"Because we'd cut into the segment on the guy who's dug a moat around his house because of sewage leaks and has taken to demanding to see the mayor of his town while wearing a nun's outfit."


"I could add that Sinclair was substituted in the 76th minute for Thomas Brodif," the writer conceded, shrugging.

"Yeah. You do that."
26-05-2009, 12:35
Meghan’s Space

Things were going to be different this time. We were confident and feeling good about our chances to knock off Sorthern Northland. We knew they were strong in qualifying, having gone 7-1-2 in Group 3 and winning that group outright, and we realize what they did four years ago. Unlike last time, we weren’t thinking about our opponent’s accomplishments, as this time it was all about us. That, after all, is how all teams should be thinking in the World Cup. We’re not sure what the rest of the world thinks about us right now, and we wanted to erase all doubts that we certainly belonged in the field. We picked up a magazine preview here in Kelssek, and looked at what they said about us and what our chances to advance out of the group may be in their opinion. As expected, it didn’t really give us much of a chance, looking at the five draws that we had in qualifying, rather than being a team that kept both Jeruselem and Milchama out of the World Cup. We looked at some other publications and it is almost unanimous that we are not expected to do anything. Most had us picked fourth, with a couple putting us over Bears Armed. We got off to a good start against Sorthern Northland, with Stacie Kerrigan-Fraser scoring the first goal of the game in the 18th minute. Not to long after that, we came close to getting a second goal, and would have if not for an offsides flag. Sure, you can say that it wouldn’t have been an almost type situation if the play was onsides. The game slipped away from us late in the first half, as they scored twice, and then scored six minutes into the second. Just like that, we were down 3-1. Ashley Nolan got one back for us, but in the 84th minute, it was too little too late. We lose the match 3-2, play well at times, but probably confirmed the opinions of those who don’t think we are a top two team.

We must now regroup. We know we can beat Bears Armed because we have done it recently, with a 3-0 victory on their turf, and when you play on the road in Bears Armed, that is a country that has a home field advantage like none other in the world. We were not intimidated by their size advantages in that victory and we will not be again. It was only a friendly then, so things will be a lot different, but having a victory in our back pocket gives us a ton of confidence. If we win this game, then we have a shot to advance to the “Sweet Sixteen” in our final match against Bostopia. There is no other way about it, and there will be no loopholes that we can try to take advantage to make it into the final round anyway even if we don’t finish in the top two.
Candelaria And Marquez
26-05-2009, 12:59
“Oh, here we is!”

“Finally,” Janet Devey breathed grimly. “Can you just read it and go, Terry? I don’t care for being out in the open here, it’s unnerving…”

“It’s a perfectly lovely city, Jan. Shush and enjoy your coffee, luv. I won’t be a minute…”

“It’s unpleasantly syrupy, I must say… You do know this city is over fifty per cent foreigners, don’t you?”

“They’re all foreigners apart from us, Janet,” her husband said mildly.

“Oh, you know what I mean! Foreign foreigners! Not even proper Kelssekians…”

Terry tutted sympathetically. “I’d watch your handbag then, luv. There might be brown people’n everything.”

“You might laugh, Terence, but you just remember what happened when we went on that daytrip around the 12/5 bomb sights! That Bettian woman was eyeing my purse for a good couple of minutes when we were in Evans & Sons.”

“She was the checkout girl, Janet.”

“The point is, foreigners are foreigners wherever you go… You can’t trust ‘em for five minutes.”

“We wouldn’t have to if you’d stop rabbiting on…”

“Sorry I’m sure. Not my fault you dragged me out here…”

“You didn’t have to come, woman.”

“Well, I was hardly going to let you stalk the streets of Kirkenes by yourself, was I? You might’ve got caught up in all sorts!”

Terry nodded wistfully. “Look, luv… All I want to see is whether Oscar’s got the new shipment ready yet...”

“Oh, it’s all work work work with you, isn’t it? You’re looking at the football reports!”

“I’m trying to, certainly… The Herald’s website’s down. So’re my emails…”

“We-ell… That’s hardly surprising, is it? This is Kelssek, dear, it’s practically communist! I’ve no doubt they block access to the free media overseas!”

“They don’t do it very well… I can get the goggle cache up easily enough… Ugh.”


“Thought you weren’t interested…”

“Oh, give it ‘ere… What’re you ughing at, then?”

“Lawrence Amey and God’s Power Adekunde’re both out of the Dancougar game…”

“Oh, is that all? Honestly, men…”

“We are on a football holiday, Janet.”

“You could find out this sort of thing at the hotel, Terry! We’re not even supposed to be out on our own!”

“I know… That’s why I’m here. Sick of being watched, Janet. Don’t you always find that creepy? Whenever we go off on one of these jaunts abroad, there’s always a plethora of government types – our government types – watching our every move. Don’t like it, luv, never have. It’s nice to get out of their shadow on occasion, don’t you think?”

“Oh yes,” Janet muttered sarcastically, “At an internet café. Wonderful. We could be anywhere! The Kirkenes Islands, the Modern Art Museum…”

“You loathe modern art, dear.”

“I loathe football, but that doesn’t stop you dragging me along, does it?”

“No,” Terry agreed sadly. “It really doesn’t…”

Still, he decided, their little jaunt to Kelssek could only get better from here on out. They were off to Burnaby next, where the knowledge that over half the population spoke a language other than English at home would no doubt keep the wife confined to her hotel room. Granted, from a footballing point of view things could only get worse. The Dancougans clearly weren’t at their best just yet, but at least they’d be able to field a more-or-less complete team. While the world of football could rest easy that Northern Bettia had long since disappeared off the sporting map, the Rennidanians weren’t much better these days. Particularly when it came to playing their Candelariasian counterparts. Amey had been kicked off the park minutes after scoring the opener; Niv Cohen had left of his own accord with ten minutes remaining, having done his work for the day in the form of a first-half free-kick and justifiably fearing for his shins; and even Harvey Vavasour had looked decidedly wobbly after a brief but unforgettable encounter with Samual Fortal. It was all most upsetting.

Terry was pleased about that, though. It meant he didn’t have to concentrate instead on the nagging irritation that was every webpage with a dotcam address apparently ceasing to exist. The more he thought about it, the more it really was beginning to bother him.

Happily, at this point in time a camel, a bodiless head, a galloping black gentleman with no eyes and what appeared to be a six-foot bat, ran past, followed closely by some two dozen other creatures of various shapes, sizes and degrees of plausibility, causing Janet to faint and quite putting the wholesale destruction of his homeland out of Terry’s mind.
Gordon Bay City
26-05-2009, 13:02
“That,” the Alan said evenly, “Is the very last time I let you drag us a modern art museum.”

Kxaŋ͡ǂi clicked apologetically and held up a foot, a single sad eye in the sole blinking wretchedly at the striker.

“Alright, alright… Say no more about it, say no more about it, let’s all jus’ go back to the hotel an… Bugger.”

The groupies had found them again.

Somehow, the Alan hadn’t expected this development. Aino aside of course, he and his team-mates were footballing mercenaries, who’d accepted Gordon Bay Citian citizenship and a place on the national term in return for cash, for the most part. They hadn’t anticipated fans. And now suddenly they were surrounded by a mob of travelling supporters and, even though the Alan had seen many curious things during his life, there was nothing quite as unnerving as a tree in a replica shirt with one’s own name on the back. Several pixies were hugging his ankles. A topless young woman with pendulemic breasts dangling nonchalantly over her back – this appeared to be a recurring theme among several of Gordon Bay City’s new species, for some reason – was thrusting a thick pile of autograph books in his face, while a group of what almost certainly weren’t human children danced around him giggly as they bounced around, slipping up on each others’ ridiculously oversized cloaks. A deformed dwarf with green hair appeared on his shoulder, and handed him a biro with a hopeful expression.

The Alan knocked the creature off into a crowd of pillywiggins and backed nervously away. They hadn’t even played a game yet, the striker moaned to himself. What was it going to be like if they actually won one? Mark Baker hadn’t prepared them for this.

Jorge floated rapidly towards him, a desperate expression etched upon the head’s face, as a group of female heads swooped towards him, tueing with lustful enthusiasm. Their path was blocked by at least three camels, one of which appeared to be…

“Mu’hurrrghougha, no, come on, mate, we’ve got a game in a few hours… Not now, it’s May, you’re not supposed to still be up for… Oh, that’s not… Now you’re going to regret that in twelve to fourteen months, you randy bugger…”

Kxaŋ͡ǂi gave him an insistent click. The Alan nodded. “Yeah, good point, good point. Let’s jus’ make our exit now, under the cover of… camels.”

While a handful of educated, world-weary Kelsskians seated around a nearby bistro watched the scene unfold with something short of mild interest, the Alan and his remaining cohorts slipped gingerly down a handy alley.

One of the Kelsskians promptly made his excuses and left, following the Gordon Bay City players for a short while before turning into a small black dog.


“…inclair, he can round Jorge here… He can go under Jorge here, actually, is that within the spirit of established legislation? He made absolutely no effort to get the ball… Crossfield ball to Kyle Anderson, the Ariddian native, easily cleared by Bm-Chm, and this will be another throw-in for Kelssek…”

“He’s actually not a bad commentator, y’know,” Sukie sighed as her trowel clanged against another hard stone. She tossed it to one side. “When this is all over, TV1 should get him in. It’d make a change from one of the Johns, certainly.”

“…inds Paul Clifton, but he can only direct the pass into the feet of Walter Johann. The Gordon Bay City midfielder now, not blessed with superb vision, but he can find Lord Aino. Lord Aino loses… loses the ball, well that was indeed unfortunate. Certainly not his fault, naturally, but it will be another throw-in for Kenneth Regehr…”

“When this is all over,” Robyn Morton echoed, puffing asthmatically as she gave the Belts’ front garden a good hard fork, “The fae shall be banished back to their realm and we shall finally be free of their malign authority forever more.”

“Eh, you’re just in a grot ‘cos you’ve got to wear that headscarf.”

“It’s itchy! It’s not as though it helps me blend in, anyway… Gordon Bay City’s never had much in the way of Muslims…”

“I think Mrs Belt was going for the eastern European look, ma’am. What with the five o’clock shadow an’ all, I think it’s quite effective.”

Morton glanced coldly at the pathologist. “You’re really very lucky that’s me you said that to. If I were a Unionist president you’d be up before the Race Relations Board quicker than you can say knife.”


“Or on some spurious charge of offending the head of state…”

“Aye,” Sukie beamed. “Two of the many reasons why I’ve always been a Unionist voter.”

“You’re actually enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Oh, what’s not to like? We’re out in the sun, doing a bit of gardening amidst a vibrant and cosmopolitan community. We’re not actually in mortal fear for our lives right about now…”

“Until the next patrol wanders down the street.”

“No doubt we’ll get plenty of warning when they do. Relax, Mrs President. We spend today digging for victory, and get the hell out of here come nightfall. I’m sure you’re fretting that your cabinet are planning something rather stupid in your and Jen’s absence, but what can they possibly do in twenty-four hours to jeopardise the glorious rebellion and subsequent banishment-of-wicked-evil-fae-back-to-their-realm, eh?”

“With Vice-President Obiols chairing the meeting? I really wouldn’t like to hazard a guess…” Morton trailed off as a collection of groans from inside the Belts’ kitchen caused the various diggers to look up.

“…ips easily past Furio Pessotto, Ian Sinclair with the strike… And in the end, it is a simple finish for the veteran forward, and it is in truth no more than the hosts deserve despite the resilient defending of the visitors. There is still time for us to get back into this, but for now it is Kelssek one, Gordon Bay City nil.”

“Well that is a shame, isn’t it?” Morton muttered.

“I think it is… Maybe we shouldn’t begrudge them their team, eh? When push comes to shove, it could prove useful. It’s pretty clear that ‘our’ fae, for want of a better term, and most of the nobility have parted company on this issue. Those lads in there want Gordon Bay City to win, they really do. Even though there’s only one of their number on the team, and he’s the Queen’s brother… I’m sure we could use that to our advantage, somehow…”

“Perhaps it would be best if you left the politicking to the experts, Ms Rohaert.”

“Whatever. I’m just saying, this is not a united city, is it? From what Jen’s told me, you’ve just taken it for granted up until now that it’s been the remaining humans versus everybody else here. That’s clearly not the case! The Kolani nobs don’t like the commoners, neither seem to be getting on swimmingly with the government itself right now, and then there’s maybe a couple of dozen other species to factor in! Everyone’s scared of the trows or the aigamuxa, but some streets seem to be on pretty decent terms with the local thusser or erdluitle. Divide and conquer, and all that, you might be able t–”

“Ms Rohaert, I am not about to get us into any kind of alliance with pixies or pillywiggins or anything of the sort! They’ve absolutely no place here, and once we’ve dealt with the fae… They’ll all be leaving. Very quickly, if I have anything to do about it…”

“That’s a little short-sighted, isn’t it? Wouldn’t we be better o–”


Plainly, it was a voice to be obeyed. Humans and fae alike dived into buildings, a few gardeners remaining hunched innocently over their vegetable plots. The hooded creature hurried down the street, stepped inside the Belts’ house, grabbed the President and dragged her towards the long-since abandoned recycling bins round the side of the house. Gordon Bay City’s post-invasion authorities were yet to get around to establishing a regular collection rotor.

“Oh… You again,” Morton said flatly after a brief struggle. “Well this is a romantic locale for a lunchtime rendezvous, I must say.”

The faerie frowned and fiddled nervously with his hands. “I am perturbed, Robyn Morton.”

“You look it… Shouldn’t we be getting out of sight of this patrol then, I…”

“There is no patrol. I required to speak with you alone, on a matter of some urgency. The Queen is no longer at the Palace!”

“She’s got a palace now…?”

“The old Town Hall, then” Puao said testily. “She has barely left since the invasion! Her guards said she departed early this morning and is yet to return. She has sent me no word of her whereabouts…”

“Um, this is all very nice insider information and all, but do you really expect me to be concerned?”

“Yes. Leohi is no fool, President, erratic and blinded by hate though she is. I have known her for the entirety of her life, and she would not have even considered this incursion into… your country, if she had not been fully prepared for the possibility of failure. She will have a… ‘Plan B’, that much is certain. The fact that I am not privy to it only furthers my anxiety…”

“Look, this is all very well and good, but what are we supposed to do about it? Can we sack the… Town Hall, or something, now she’s gone? Get this rebellion you all keep muttering about into full swing?”

“If Leohi is successful, there will be no rebellion! And not much of anything else, either… Robyn Morton,” Puao continued quietly, placing his hands on her shoulders and looking the President straight in the eyes, “I have no affection for you, or your people. I would as soon see you all wiped from the face of the planet like the parasites you are… But I cannot allow Leohi to carry out that which I am certain she intends! She could destroy us all…”

“Okay, then perhaps the time for riddles and threats is over, hm? What is she…?”

The faerie interrupted her with a hand placed in the air. He listened intently.

“…inal whistle here in Kelssek, and it is three points and the victory for the hosts, and our first World Cup match ends in narrow defeat, with…”

“Yes, yes, terrible result, we all feel your pain… Now what’s going o–”

“No time!”

“Oh come on,” Morton groaned, as Puao took her by the hand once more and began to pelt down the road. Sukie and the minister, popping their heads around the door, shared a brief glance towards the pair and each other, shrugged, and stormed on after them.

“Robyn! What the hell’s going on?!”

“I ‘unno! Try asking him!”

“There will be no time!” the faerie screamed frantically, as they wheeled away down the street, turning at the crossroads and sprinted on further. Here and there, the occasional face peeked out from behind curtains – human, or human-ish, or anything but human at all – with Puao paying them no heed.

As they rounded another corner, the faerie suddenly slowed, sending Morton tumbling to her knees. Sukie arrived soon after, looked directly forward and groaned.

“A manhole cover? Seriously? You’re not going to make us troop through the sewers again are you?”

“I thought the Queen had every access point to them sealed, anyway?”

Puao shrugged. “She did. But what does that mean?” he asked with a sad grin, hoiking the offending plate out of the ground and motioning earnestly at the human women.

“Look, how do we know you’re not going to tra–”

“In, in, in!” the creature screamed, pushing the President down the hole with a thump. The other pair leapt forward instinctively, but Jenny grabbed at Puao’s billowing white cloak as she did so.

“Don’t think you’re not joining us, mate,” the minister muttered nastily, but her eyes suddenly widened as her hand passed through the faerie and his clothing like a knife through butter. She fell with a splat as the cover clanged back into place, a rapid hand from the President only narrowly stopping her from banging her head against the concrete floor of the pipe.

“Who knew they could turn themselves intangible, then?” Morton asked accusingly.

“Not me. Although…” The pathologist rapped her knuckles against the pipe. It squidged as her fingers pappled through it. “Something’s really not right here…”

“No, really? Oh, now where are you two going?!”

“Anywhere? I very much doubt we’ve been dropped down here to die, ‘Mrs M’. If we’re on some quest or owt we aren’t going t’rescue the princess standing around here!”

Sukie started forward, but in her seconds her path became blocked. She wasn’t one to be claustrophobic, but this was something else altogether, as though the air in the sewer was gelatinising, and squeezing itself around her. As she tried to turn her head, she caught a glimpse of Jenny experiencing much the same, forced to her knees by an unseen pressure. As she opened her mouth to release an impotent scream, she felt her throat clog up, making her choke, and she spat out chunks of soil and stagnant water.

A new, black reality rose up between her eyes…
26-05-2009, 13:04
Overall, Lex Panarii liked the new home of the World Cup. Very green, which was fine. After all Starblaydia was very at home with green, having replaced their usual purple with the universal colour of the environment for the 41st World Cup. They'd been rather successful back then, winning their first post-hiatus World Championship, before going on twelve years later to win a fourth overall - again - under Lex's command.

World Cup 45 had been his last in charge of the Starblaydi national football team. After nearly two decades at the helm of one of the most famous and decorated footballing nations ever, he'd decided to call it a day. For day-to-day involvement in a specific football team, that was it. Lex had wanted to consign himself to a quiet life, writing the occasional book in between reading up on many, many more. He certainly hadn't expected to be handed two of the highest honours in sport.

The first: a place in the World Cup Hall of Fame. Qualification for World Cup 45 had brought with it another place for the Starblaydi contingent and, unbeknown to him, the Starblaydi Football Association had put his name forward. So there he was, a two-time World Cup-winning manager in the Hall of Fame. Then, there came along the second honour: a Starblaydi was wanted to serve as President of the World Cup Committee. It was not an unknown situation as first Simeone Di Bradini and then Giovanni Lopez (twice) had served terms as 'El Prezidente', beginning with World Cup 25 and going on to World Cup 34 when Starblaydia's decade-long international football hiatus began.

They had been out in the wilderness, both sportingly and politically, for a long time. A long list of people had changed that, most notably Tiberius Starblayde, Paul Noble, Betanni Marrones and, eventually, himself. Even Simeone Di Bradini's book, 'Carziness Encouraged' had mentioned him, along with Laborious Hawk, as the two titan figures of the World Cup epoch. He smiled at that as, even though he accepted on an intellectual level that he had made a fairly substantial impact on the national and global game, he knew that history should not be written about the present, or the very recent past. He would not be around to see what historians wrote about him, as no-one bar Tzimices and the great Di Bradini himself really had the opportunity to do that.

Lex decided that he would serve his twelve years, or three cups, as best he could to manage the transitions, settle the disputes, arrange and collect the votes and, generally, do everything expected of 'El Prez'. He made a mental note to see what that Han research team had come up with in regard to the World Cup's actual rules. Perhaps, assuming all went well, he could actually codify the many and varying rules from a million different sources into one single rulebook - a Codex Footballia, perhaps? Codex Panarii? No, he thought with another chuckle, that would really be akin to putting graffiti on the walls of history, in a rather elaborate tag. Pax Panariia or, better yet, Pax Starblaydia might just break out across the footballing world if he did that.

Lex made another mental note. Was twelve years enough? He might even need twenty-four to complete the task to his satisfaction, well into the mid-fifties in terms of World Cups.

Thirty-six years and a life's work? It might never end.
Bears Armed
26-05-2009, 15:27
(From the 'Sports' section of 'The Bear Necessities'...)


Bostopia 4 -- 2 Bears Armed

It was a disappointing result from the 'Stade Outineau', in Outineau in the nation of Kelssek, as the Bear-Belles -- despite putting up a strong fight, in an exciting and rather 'physical' game -- eventually lost their first match of this World Cup proper by a two-goal margin. Admittedly the WCC currently rates their opponents Bostopia as the sixth-best team in the known worlds, but then that's the same rating that they were giving to Dancougar back in WC44, and when the Belles played against them on the Cup's opening matchday they managed to obtain a draw... So, with the Belles having improved their form since those days, some of us were seriously hoping for a victory this time around.

The first half of the game was closely-fought indeed, with possession of the ball split quite evenly between the two teams and all of either side's shots 'on goal' -- 2 for the Belles, as against 3 for the Bostopians -- safely saved.
Arri Thunder and Marra SunDaughter decided against making any changes to our team's line-up at half-time, whilst the Bostopians made a single change by replacing Barry Clart [#9] (who seemed a bit tired by that stage) with Andy Orton [#15] in their front row.
It wasn't until the fiftieth minute of the game that the first goal was scored, and this was one of ours: Urra SunBlessed had successfully tackled Orton just outside the Belles' goal area, and ran up the field with the ball -- instead of making an immediate pass with it, as the Bostopians evidently expected her to do -- to well inside the other half before kicking it quickly to Karramarrsar Sarra as a trio of Bostopian midifielders & defenders were closing in on her. The sisters Karrmarrsar then worked together to advance even further towards the Bostopian net, passing the ball back & forth several times, until Sarra suddenly shot it sideways to the un-marked Beorranna o Dawn who hammered home a long shot over the head of Bostopian goalie Jenks [#1].
That goal, however, prompted the Bostopians into really performing up to their reputation, and they dominated play for most of the following half-hour: Each of the strikers whom they then had on the ptch managed a goal, Orton in the fifty-eighth minute and then Protels [#9] in the seventy-seventh, whereas the Belles -- despite managing to limit their opponents to only those two shots 'on goal' were unable to get the ball anywhere near the Bostopian net at all. It wasn't until the Belles were granted a free kick, for a foul on o Dawn that saw her leave the field for medical attention and Bostopian midfielder McNeill [#7] sent off with a red card for that action, that the momentum temporarily shifted back in the Belles's favour once again. Team captain Harroya o Redwood set up a shot for Karramarrsar Karra to sink successfully in the eightieth minute, and managed to score another goal herself just four minutes after that to equalise, and for a while a draw looked as though the final result would indeed be a draw... but that, unfortunately, was not to be.
Normal playing time was over, and the five minutes of 'stoppage time' just beginning, when a high pass from Orton reached Protels and the latetr player bluffed his way past the Belles' defences to literally run the ball over the line and put his team ahead again: This incident saw another Bostopian sent off, with midfielder Warmport [#14] being thus-penalised for impeding the Belles' goalkeeper Urra Thunder during Orton's advance, but the referee -- a furless 'Candelabran' -- declined to disallow the goal! He was quicker to act two minutes later, however, when he ruled a shot from Harroya o Redwood (which really SHOULD have counted as another equaliser...) out-of-order due to a decidely peculiar personal interpretation of the 'Offside' rule to give the Bostopians the game.
Oh, and you want to know where the Bostopians' fourth goal of this game came from? It came from the goal-kick that Jenks took after that disallowed shot of o Redwood's, which he sent really high in an attempt to keep the ball out of play for the very last few seconds of the match... and which, hitting a passing swan, was somehow deflected downwards and into a corner of the Belles' net!!!
No shame to Thunder, she really couldn't have been expected to anticpate that attack...

(Full details on page S-2.)

(OOC: No, I haven't forgotten about writing up the post-qualifier friendlies & associated events, I just haven't found the time for that yet... Expect to see at least one report, as another newspaper article that somebody's browsing, very shortly...)
26-05-2009, 15:31
RP cutoff for Groups E through H.

Your scores are here (
26-05-2009, 16:06
Scores for MD2 groups A-D (
26-05-2009, 21:02
Knights Need win in final game, if not they will not advance. STOP
Jeru FC
27-05-2009, 01:09
Jeruselem Government News

Jennifer Vilardi sinks Jeru FC

Newmanistan took on Jeru FC in a game which was important coming off losses. Jeru FC tried hard but fell the Rockets 1-0 with a Tel Aviv Sharks striker Jennifer Vilardi scoring the winning goal.

Jeru FC were defending desperately from the Rockets who seemed the better offensive team. The coach was forced to change usual offensive team tactics, changing the formation to 5-4-1 with poor Julie Pilsner being the lone striker. The Jeruselem trained Tel Aviv Shark players caused the most trouble for Jeru FC who fought hard to keep a clean sheet. Jennifer Vilardi ended the hopes of Jeruselemites when she scored in a style not unlike Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas 10 minutes from time ending.

The Jeru FC coach look rather depressed knowing his teams third attempt at making the 2nd round was over once again. Some of the Jeru FC players took the loss hard knowing it was probably their last World Cup. Oddly, the ref decided yellow card Kaye who said something to herself but it backfired when she got really pissed off and chased him off the field.

JGN spoke to Princess Marie who was happy for Newmanistan but would have preferred Jeru FC had won
"Well, it's good one of the teams won. I mean a draw for those teams would have been quite useless. Now that the Rockets have won one game, it's up to them to win the next one. I know Jeru FC will try to win their next game but Ad'ihan are a better team as they just beat the Han. But the Rockets have their own fate in their own hands how. Jeru FC can't help them. Newmanistan must be master of it's own fate ... it is the way things are now."
27-05-2009, 01:41
The same triumverate who argued over which of them should take responsibility for Sarzonia's loss to Dancougar could now argue of which one should take credit for a victory.

All three players played central roles in Sarzonia's 0:1 triumph over Rennidan that improved the Stars to 1-0-1 in World Cup Finals action. It was Sarzonia's first taste of victory in the World Cup proper since World Cup XXX.

While Cody Taylor rued a goal he allowed against the run of play against Dancougar, he could have exulted over his dominant performance against the Brutes. He made six saves, aggressively closing off angles and throwing his body around in an effort to make scoring chances a living hell.

Defender Ben Davis marked his player tightly, all but preventing Rennidan's most dangerous offensive player from getting the space needed to breathe. As for Matt Lynch, he found the scoring touch from 28 yards out with a blistering shot that some thought might have caused the netting to rip.

Manager Franz Braddock smiled as he walked into the post-match press conference. He knew his task was not done. He also knew he managed his adopted nation to his first World Cup triumph since he prowled the sidelines for Cafundéu.

"It's nice to win, no?" Braddock said simply. Without saying it, he was able to convey how rare winning a World Cup match could be.

"The lads worked hard," he said. "They received just rewards for their work rate. But the biggest challenge remains."

That challenge comes in the form of the defending World Cup champions, Candelaria and Marquez. Thus far in World Cup Group H play, they've won two matches without reply, defeating both Rennidan and Dancougar. Meanwhile, the Stars squeaked past the Brutes and lost 0:1 to the Black Wings.

So how will the Stars do against the world champions?"

"We won't know until full time," Braddock said. "They are a great team, the No. 2 team in the world. But we've been playing to good form of late. It should be fun."

Your Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Stat Of The Day Sarzonia have an all-time record of two wins and two draws against Valanora, including a sweep of a two-match derby during World Cup XXX qualifying when the Stars were winding down their first World Cup tenure as an elite side. The unranked Stars drew both matches against the Marauders in World Cup XLIV.
27-05-2009, 02:28
Dear Billy

Well done in your team beating Jeru FC. Mind you I feel sorry for the poor old Jeru FC who played so well to qualify since they got sandwiched between two "Han" teams and Newmanistan.

As Marie has said, your team need to finish the job. Beating the Han will not be easy but Han have lost games recently so it's definitely not impossible. It's hard to sit here and watch when you're used playing finals World Cup football. Still, I've got my ducks to tend to and football training for the Cup of Harmony.

Now that we've both got our places in the World Cup team, and stable careers - maybe it's time to settle down. I don't know if you want to live in Newmanistan or on the farm here in Jeruselem. You seem to like the rural living with healthy food and animals here. It's good for one living with nature apart from stuff like Duck flus. Actually, I seem immune to those flus for some reason.

Marie visited with some of her kids today. They seem to like the farm here. Made me kinda think, maybe it should our kids playing with the ducks instead of Marie's. Maybe I'm just being dreamy or spending time with all these kids, is rubbing off making me want my own. It just might be my ducks have hundred zillion kids and I don't have any as well.

Oh, Mary the Duck seems to be wandering around looking for you. Maybe it's a sign, we have to start our own ducklings now. Anyway, best luck with the team and beat them crazy people.

Oksana "Pups" Ferris
27-05-2009, 03:11
(after lunch, the trial continues)

JUDGE ALRADE - "So, I think it is time for us to end the questions destined to The Scout. Mr. Scout, you have done your duty, you can leave now."

THE SCOUT - "Thanks. I'll watch the rest of the trial."

JUDGE ALRADE - "If you wish, there is no problem."

LORD NAPLAS - "And now we'll start hearing the lies..."

TRAVASSOS - "Everything you don't agree to are lies... we'll defend our point now."

JUDGE ALRADE - "It is time for the defendants to address the court. Please, who will be first?"

TRAVASSOS - "My clients, Honor. As Mr. Urubupungá isn't here at the moment, Mr. Bustos and Mr. Casaverde will speak now."

JUDGE ALRADE - "So they can go to these seats."

BUSTOS - "Let's go, Michel. We have nothing to fear... I think."

CASAVERDE - "Well, I don't believe this can get much worse than it is now."

JUDGE ALRADE - "Mr. Travassos, you'll be the first to ask them questions. Please start now."

TRAVASSOS - "First of all, I'll ask both: what did you do as members of the CCFM?"

BUSTOS - "Well, I was the director of National Teams. My function was basically to appoint the name of the coach of the Cafundelense team, and follow his progress with the team, organizing the trips to other countries... all things related exclusively to the National Team."

CASAVERDE - "I was director of finances of the CCFM. I controlled the financial data of the organization, to control its expenses."

TRAVASSOS - "And how did you participate in the deals the CCFM did with other associations?"

BUSTOS - "I wasn't supposed to participate... my job was restricted to the National Team, I shouldn't have any word about the domestic league. But through my influence I was able to participate in the negotiations involving these foreign players."

CASAVERDE - "For me the situation is different. As the responsible for the finances of the CCFM, I had vital participation in the negotiations, as I'd decide if certain price for a player could be paid or not."

TRAVASSOS - Now to the issue commented here: did you have involvement in the negotiations made during the last transfer window, which happened during the World Cup forty-five cycle?"

BUSTOS - "Yes, I did."

CASAVERDE - "Me too, as always."

TRAVASSOS - "So let's go directly to the point: the Empire says that the deals made by the CCFM during the last transfer window were made so the directors, this including you, could take some of the money of the CCFM budget for themselves. Tell us, there was something different in those deals?"

CASAVERDE - "Can't say there wasn't anything different. We admit that these deals were... special. But nothing related with the CCFM budget."

TRAVASSOS - "So, if this isn't related to the budget of the CCFM, how these negotiations were different than the others?"

BUSTOS - "I confess: as I started to have a big influence during the negotiations of the CCFM, I have decided to use them to help some of my other businesses... illegal cassinos."

TRAVASSOS - "So you have illegal cassinos... and you used the CCFM negotiations for money laundering?"

BUSTOS - "That's correct. All these negotiations served the purpose of using the cassino money."

TRAVASSOS - "And did you know of this, Mr. Casaverde?"

CASAVERDE - "Yes, I did. I agreed to help Mr. Bustos as a friend."

TRAVASSOS - "And can you prove this, Mr. Bustos?"

BUSTOS - "Yes, I have these papers that show the movement of money of my cassinos, you'll see the amount of money moved is similar to what was moved in the transfers done by the CCFM during the last transfer window."

JUDGE ALRADE - "What about this evidence, Mr. X? Can this be considered proof of his allegations?"

MR. X - "This is proof that Ronaldo Bustos has many illegal cassinos, really. And that a lot of money passes through there. But I can't see this as a proof that the cassinos' money was used in the illegal deals of the CCFM!"

BUSTOS - "What? So this only made my situation worse!"

TRAVASSOS - "After that, I have no more questions."

CASAVERDE - "Wait, are you giving up?"

TRAVASSOS - "I don't know what more to do!"

JUDGE ALRADE - "Okay, so now the prosecutor, Lord Naplas, can question the defendants."

LORD NAPLAS - "Given the fact that even their lawyer has given up, noticing that there is no chance that they'll escape a severe punishment, I won't make many questions, as the evidences that prove their guilt were shown during The Scout's questioning."

JUDGE ALRADE - "Go ahead."

LORD NAPLAS - "Think of all the evidences that appeared during this trial... and double them. Because this is the real number of evidences we have. Don't forget that The Scout only commented about the deals involving the CCFM and foreign deals. And, of course, the CCFM also had negotiations with Cafundelense teams... including that infamous deal involving A.F.F.'s midfielder Serrano..."

CASAVERDE - "Oh, &¨$#*$!"

BUSTOS - "We're #&$(%! &&#*%( justice!"

LORD NAPLAS - "You didn't think I would forget Serrano's deal, did you? This was the first of the illegal deals, and one of the most absurd ones... you simply doubled the real price when announcing the false value! So, how can you deny you stole the money of the CCFM budget, even with all those evidences saying otherwise?"

CASAVERDE - "I don't know what to say."

BUSTOS - "I admit these deals were illegal, but the judge will decide if this is a case of money laundering or theft of public money."

LORD NAPLAS - "And I can already foresee the decision. No more questions."

JUDGE ALRADE - "Time for the other two defendants."


(inside the Intelligence Unit room of the Cafundelense Federal Police)

ALICE I - "What is going on, there? Why they haven't found Urubupungá yet?"

AGENT WLADMIR - "This isn't so easy. We have information, but not enough. We know where the plane fell, but not to where did Urubupungá go, and neither his health conditions."

AGENT ALFINETE - "That's why we have a field team in Allemenschen: to get the missing information, and this takes a while."

ALICE I - "I'm getting furious! They are taking too long! He'll leave Allemenschen without we can notice it! If they fail, it'll be better for them to not return to Cafundéu!"

AGENT WLADMIR - "Wait, there is something new in the satellite images... another plane, unidentified, leaving Allemenschen and going south."

ALICE I - "South? To Bazalonia? Milchama? Or maybe returning to Estresse Intenso?"

AGENT ALFINETE - "We'll follow its path, don't worry, my Empress."

ALICE I - "I hope so."

AGENT WLADMIR - "I am contacting the field team... hello, Central Control to Field Team, please answer!"

AGENT ZENON - "Field Team to Central Control here. We're in a strange jungle here in Allemenschen, full of scrap junk... android parts... it's a strange place, close to where the plane fell."

AGENT WLADMIR - "Be cautious, no one in Allemenschen knows you are in their country, this is an unofficial mission of our Federal Police, top secret."

AGENT BIRO - "No problem, we know how to act."

ALICE I - "But act fast! I want Urubupungá here! We have suspicions that he might be leaving the country thanks to your inefficiency!"

AGENT ATALIBA - "What? Leaving the country? So we can leave now?"

AGENT WLADMIR - "If we confirm this information, yes."

AGENT ATALIBA - "Oh, thanks, I was so scared!"

ALICE I - "Cowards! Afraid of some stupid things!"

AGENT ZENON - "You don't know what the purple-stinging nellies can do!"

ALICE I - "And neither do you!"

AGENT ZENON - "Well... yes. But surely it must be terrible!"

AGENT WLADMIR - "We have the information... the plane is taking a path to Valanora!"

ALICE I - "Oh, no, not this... I knew those pointy-ears were involved! They have spies in Cafundéu, spies everywhere! They want to destroy our Empire, we must stop them! We can't trust people with pointed ears!"

AGENT ALFINETE - "Maybe the Vanorian government doesn't know about Urubupungá's attempt to enter the country."

ALICE I - "Of course they do, they are involved in his escape, they want to annoy me!"

AGENT WLADMIR - "It seems the plane is travelling to an island there."

ALICE I - "It'll be nearly impossible for us to send a team to find Urubupungá there... first because they would be easily spotted, and second because it would be extremely difficult for them to find Urubupungá there."

AGENT WLADMIR - "So what will we do?"

ALICE I - "No idea. I'll have to think about something."

AGENT ZENON - "What about us?"

AGENT ALFINETE - "You can leave Allemenschen."

AGENT BIRO - "I'm relieved! Finally to home... AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!"

AGENT ALFINETE - "What is happening?"

AGENT ZENON - "They have found us... the purple-stinging nellies!"

AGENT ATALIBA - "We were surrounded!"

ALICE I - "Just this? This is nothing!"
27-05-2009, 04:15
Dancougar News!!
Penguins have power over the weather!

Quality over quality as champs top Wings: When Tomo Asanuma got off the team bus and stepped into Konoha Place for Dancougar's World Cup match against reigning champs Candelaria and Marquez, the defender smiled and said he had a good feeling.

"Same as my alma mater," he explained. The defender played for Konoha Academy in the Big East and first appeared on the national radar as a member of the Oxen Cup 9 team. He resurfaced at the Empire Charity Cup and earned himself a World Cup spot for his efforts. As it turned out, Dancougar started slowly and ended up playing reasonably well. But the Big Blues were better, earning a 2-1 win to get a foot into the next round, as a draw will do in their final match.

The Wings will likely have to win.

"We weren't giving any thought to the final day scenarios, no," said Shigeru Takeuchi. "So much can happen in two games, especially at this stage. We were just focused on the team in front of us because we knew it would take a strong effort to keep up. It's the same now that we're in this situation. We just have to go out and win and then worry about what comes after."

The team needed to play a more balanced match than they did against Sarzonia, where they surrendered the majority of the possession and scored on one of their few quality chances. Takeuchi arranged his five-man midfield into a diamond to try and promote good ball movement and also gain some extra flexibility on both sides of the ball. But the chief part of the plan was to avoid getting intimidated by the Candelarians, who swept aside Rennidan in their opener and appeared to pick up right where they left off.

Early shots from David Spooner and Niv Cohen challenged Artur Komarov to make two big saves in the first ten minutes, and he duly obliged. The second was a masterpiece, with Komarov throwing himself across the face of goal to punch Cohen's curling shot over the crossbar. But as Takeuchi feared, the Wings lost the possession battle early and found themselves besieged. There weren't many shots, but they were accurate, and only Komarov's instincts kept the match scoreless.

The Wings were able to punch back with a few chances of their own, but first blood fell to the Blues. Once again, it was Spooner causing problems for the defense, and in the 28th minute he controlled a pass from midfielder Ben Zec and swept it into the net. Komarov came close to making the save, but it brushed past his fingertips after he got a late jump on the shot.

"We tried to play confident football, but they were oozing quality," said Asanuma. "Marking them was very difficult. [Komarov] was keeping us in that game."

The goal helped wake the team up. Rather than watch their goalkeeper get pounded into submission, they sought instead to reward him for his hard work. Captain Dan Florentino began to assert himself in the midfield, and in the 35th minute, he created the equalizer. He was about to dump the ball square to Shoji Ishino, but noticing God's Power Adekunde slowly working into position, he instead charged forward, burning the defender and creating a sudden rush for the net. He lofted a cross for Rosberg only to have it punched away by Joel Sbaiz, but the ball rolled to Kent Montego, who one-timed it in from the top of the box.

The Wings closed the half strongly, with another scoring chance coming off the foot of Rosberg, who watched the ball sail just wide after taking a deflection. The Blues weren't ready to panic, but the game was becoming more and more open. After halftime, Sbaiz and Komarov both waited for the other to blink, as both teams swept forward. Dancougar attempted to take the initiative but were stonewalled thrice in the first twenty minutes, while Komarov only needed to make one save during that span.

"It felt like we had some momentum; we were creating pressure," said Rosberg. "But they didn't seem bothered by it. I guess that comes from being the champion. It was definitely different from when they came forward; we were definitely more tense at the back."

Zec came close to taking the lead in the 65th when he fired in a free kick that easily cleared the wall and was inches away from settling nicely in the top corner. Komarov had been beaten badly and looked shaken by the shot. Minutes later, Spooner also came close, but faltered with the ball on his left foot and fired directly at Komarov for the save. The Wings were unable to generate chances that good on their attacks, and they ran out of luck in the 77th minute, when Cohen fought his way inside the box and slipped a hard shot between Dwight Heath's feet that beat a sprawling Komarov to make it 2-1.

Takeuchi brought on Lillian DaCosta to provide some extra punch up front, but as in the preceding sequences, the final efforts proved too weak to beat Sbaiz. The Wings came closest in the 84th, when DaCosta and Rosberg pulled off a one-two at the top of the box only for DaCosta to scoop the ball ten feet over the goal.

"They were cooler under fire and generated the better chances in the end," said Takeuchi. "We're closer. But we're not there yet."

Dancougar tackles Rennidan in their final match of the group stage while Sarzonia will battle Candelaria and Marquez. Three-way points ties will occur if Sarzonia and Dancougar win or if Rennidan and the Big Blues win. A draw will be enough for the Wings unless Sarzonia win, in which case they'll need a victory to force the three-way tie and then hope that the tiebreakers go their way.

Reflection for DaCosta as women's football rises: When Lillian DaCosta was in high school, you could count on one hand the number of Dancougaran women playing college football. No need to consider the pros... unless you counted Jeruselem international Jennifer Sloan, who was running rampant at Shuukyuu Kishin and helping them win D-League titles in the league's early days.

If she can do it, thought DaCosta, why not me?

Now pushing 30, DaCosta has had a relatively successful D-League career despite only making a name for herself as a starter in the last few seasons. DaCosta was content to pitch relief as a reserve forward for Eastport United, but what a great reliever she was. Fans always applauded when DaCosta rose from the bench, because she always had a knack for scoring goals at the end to pinch points from the opposition. She joined the team in the same year they won their first title - the first of three in five years, and she had a bigger hand in each one.

"Jennifer Sloan showed us what a woman could do on a football field," said DaCosta. "Before that, we'd seen women on television, but when Kishin bought her, it seemed so close. It finally felt real. That's when you started seeing more and more girls going out for football and pushing for roster spots."

DaCosta herself wound up at Shiratori University where she cracked the starting lineup in her junior year and scored eight goals in sixteen conference matches as the team finished second in the South Central but still made the tournament. They'd win it during her senior season, as she upped her total to nine, but both tournaments ended quickly. They never progressed past the conference round in her two years as a starter, but her talents were noticed at Eastport, which was looking to add depth behind Myedvedeyan Aleksander Rozhdestvensky.

Chances for her to show her skills, though, came few and far between. In any case, the chief interest was in the battle between Sloan and Karen Stadler. Their rivalry while at Kishin and King's Eleven, respectively, lent the name "Queen's Cup" to the derby, a name which sticks today even though Sloan is retired and Stadler was later transferred to Kishin.

Her enthusiasm, though, was unaffected, and she played with passion whether it was for ninety minutes or for twenty. She took great pride in all of the number 25 jerseys she saw in the stands worn by girls of all ages. Even better, she says, was the smile on their faces whenever she found the back of the net.

"I never got any special treatment because I was a woman playing with men," she said. "I had to work hard. The guys ahead of me were strong, so I had to earn my playing time and make the most of it when it came. And I think that, more than anything, was the message I wanted to sent. If you work hard, you'll get your chance."

There's still a long way to go. Out of 216 first-tier college programs, only 3% of players are women. The D-League only has nine women on its 20 rosters, and four of them are foreign. But there are signs that exemplary talents are out there. Before this season, midfielder Lynn DiMino was a first-round pick by Mizuno no Juuichi, and her good friend Aiko Yoshida is a top prospect for the upcoming draft.

DaCosta says that it still may take a generation for the women's game to really take off, but in her eyes, it's worth the wait. "I've been fortunate to get the opportunities I have, and they're becoming more and more available," she said. "The barriers are definitely coming down."
27-05-2009, 05:27
Fromburg Free Press

World Cup 46 Coverage

We might have a new contender to take over the Bostopian Screw-job. A 2-0 loss to Kosovoe, or was it the Pruxian referees? A team record 4 red cards were given to Qazox, including 2 just a minute apart early in the game put Qazox down 2 men. Kosovoe took full advantage, with 2 goals from their unnamed striker in the 14th and 23rd minutes. The red cards were given to Brent Folks, in the 7th minute, for a clean tackle on the kosovoe midfielder, and to Luella Escareno for an inadvertent elbow to the head of the Kosovoe keeper on an early corner kick in the 8th minute.

Now down 2 goals and 2 players, Qazox basically played in a 3-0-5 formation with the remaining midfielder coming forward. The tactic worked, for the most part, as Kosovoe sat back defending for most of the remainder of the match. In the 76th minute, Reginald Gillispie was given a red card after arguing about an offsides call, despite the replays showing that Gillispie was correct. Now down to 8 players, any chance of a comeback was all but extingushed. The 4th and final red card came after the game when team captain, Angel Kenworthy verbally berated the referee, and was given his card post-match.

Now with 4 players suspended for the Valanora match, and needing a win (as a draw with Valanora would do no good,); Qazox will feature this line-up against the Elves:

(Replacements in BOLD amd a 4-3-3 formation)

Marc Klick

Brett Munford
Gene Sharman
Claudette Danielsen
Bernette Swinson

Cornelia Fuston
Ivy Habib
Elmer Begaye

Audra Edelstein
Matilda Swords
Bobby Cacho

To advance, Qazox needs to win, as mentioned beforehand, and hope that Vephrall and Kosovoe draw or have Vephrall win.

THE Fromburg Free Press PRESENTS
The 2nd Biggest Moment/Event
in Black Oxen/Pheonix Footballing History
Date: February 17th, 1898
Location: Estadia Pika, Pika City
Event/Moment: Qazox qualifies for the World Cup for the First time.
Other Nation involved: Nikea
Result: 1-0 win.

Reprint of event from National Archives:



Thanks to a 2-2 draw between Eseck and Quakmybush, Qazox will be going to the World Cup for the 1st time ever after 4 previous failures to qualify. The Black Oxen looked tired and worn down after so many matches, but with 20 minutes remaining in their game against Nikea, the scoreboard flashed the previously mentioned draw and Qazox knew they had to win somehow.

Head Coach Reggie Hassok, either by design or accident, left off both Nelson Macgillivray and Rene LaTreque and started in a 3-3-3-1 formation. The seeming costly mistake allowed Nikea to control the ball much more tahn the Black Oxen would have liked, but thanks to some great goalkeeping by Juila Kidd, teh 1st half ended scoreless.

At Halftime Hassok, realised his mistake but subbed in Regina Reginald and Kyle Horton and kept Nelson and Rene off, most likely to save them for the last two games. Just before the teams came out, the crowd let loose a loud groan as the ASMV-Raging Pengiuns score was shown, which ended in a 2-2 tie. Now Qazox was only 2 pts ahead of the Penguins, who still had a chance to overtake the Black Oxen.

Nikea took full advantage of the quieted crowd, and until the fateful moment of the scoreboard showing the 2-2 draw between Eseck and Quakmybush, they looked ready to pull of the upset, delaying the chance to qualify.

Once that score was shown, Kyle Horton somehow found the ball on his foot and just a few seconds later, The crowd began to chant and scream as Qazox had a 1-0 lead in the 71st minute. The last minutes began to slow as the time began to run out on Nikea's attempt to tie the match.. 15 minutes.. 10 minutes.. 5 minutes.. 3 minutes. As the final second ticked off the clock, and the referee's whistle began to blow, a roar from seemingly the enitre country filled the air.

QAZOX IS IN THE CUP!!!!! was repeated countless times as fans ran onto the field to take pieces of turf, players ran into the stands hugging wifes, husbands, children, parents. Though the choatic scene, one image stood firm in this reporters mind: an older gentleman sitting right next to me right behind the Qazox bench, crying his eyes out and leaning over to his wife, who was equally crying her eyes out. The man then asked his wife, "So just where is Vilita anyway??"

THE Fromburg Free Press PRESENTS
The 2nd Best Player
in Black Oxen/Pheonix Footballing History

Player: Kallie Jaus
Played in: World Cups 39-42
Caps: 70 (2nd most in team history)
Goals: 36 (Most in team history)
Best Moment: Scored both goals in the 2-0 win over Jasīʼyūn, that advanced Qazox past the opening round of the World Cup for the first time.

Ms. Jaus has offically retired from football and is currently the VP of Public Relations for the Qazoxian Football association.

So now we only have one moment and one player left on our countdown. Who is the greatest Qazoxian player of all-time and what was Qazox' biggest moment? Find out, in Thursday's edition of the Fromburg Free Press.

(OOC: come on... Kosovoe? who hasn't RP'ed yet (offically)? and hasn't posted a roster?... Jeez.:( )
27-05-2009, 06:40
Junior (Jeremy McAllister, Jr): You’re gonna finally do it?

Prescott: Yeah, she’s so sweet.

J Vilardi: That’s a beautiful ring you got for her. She’ll love it. You must have spent a lot on it.

Prescott: I did, but she’s worth all of it and then some.

Junior: Give me a second to puke. Just kidding, that’s cool man, I’m sure she’ll accept.

J Vilardi: I’m impressed by how you two never rushed into this.

Prescott: I’m putting it in this box, it will be underneath another present. I wore that gold chain in all of our Cup of Harmony 37 matches and it brought us, well me, good luck, and we won all of our games. I know Jeruselem would have rather been in the World Cup, but they want to win the Cup of Harmony, and maybe that can bring her and Jeruselem good luck. It’d be great if they won.

J Vilardi: I agree with that.

Junior: Where was that picture taken?

Prescott: It’s from when we first met in the Di Bradini Cup like six years or so ago, whenever it was.

Junior: You are definitely marrying a hottie.

J Vilardi: Where’s the weeding and where are you two gonna live?

Prescott: I want to live in Jeruselem. I love Newmanistan but Jeruselem is just such a nice place. The wedding will be in Jeruselem as well.

Junior: You just like all the nudity.

Prescott: Well, hey, I’m gonna be engaged soon!

Junior: I don’t think I can ever settle down like that.

J Vilardi: I’ve heard that before. Then he met the woman of his dreams named Ashley and they had a son who’s playing in World Cup 46.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The SAPCO story had settled down for a little while. Scott Davis was unable to get any new information and the justice system went to work on Richard Holmes. Sarah and Shaina’s friendship blossomed, and the Crypstahs were never able to find where Shaina relocated too, helped in large part to her leaving the hotel she worked for and taking a mail room job with Channel 5. They were working on the book, but that was a work in progress. The Doctor’s trial came and went with little fanfare as the public was more concerned with Jeremy McAllister even though Holmes was the truly guilty one. The senior McAllister had no time to celebrate the Rockets 1-0 victory over Jeru FC. He had to fly to Southport immediately after the game to take part in this trial. Because of the high profile of McAllister, the trial was televised across Newmanistan, and perhaps other areas of the world that had an interest. Since HGH is an illegal drug, McAllister was charged with using, even though there seemed to be a significant lack of evidence. The prosecution was confident however, that Doctor Holmes would give them the kind of information they needed to have McAllister punished. Holmes had incentive to do so, as the prosecution offered to lessen his sentence in jail if he testified against McAllister. Jeremy was looking at a minor sentence of 2 months in prison, but that didn’t matter. This was Jeremy McAllister, the icon of Newmanistanian sports, and the Empire was interested more then they had been for any more serious trial. Judge Anthony Benjamin would hear the trial, and the 11-person customary Newmanistanian jury looked on.

Judge Benjamin: Opening statement from the prosecution, please.

Matthew Schreiner, stood up and gave a speech, mentioning the pamphlet found in the hotel room, the text messages to Holmes, and the statement by Holmes that McAllister had been using since World Cup 43. He promised the jury that despite what appeared to be a lack of evidence to support the charges, that they would be able to proof beyond a reasonable doubt that Jeremy had used the supplement. McAllister and his attorney, Steve Greene looked on and appeared unusually confident. For those who had watch McAllister play football, they could say that he had that swagger before he lined up for a penalty kick that he knew it was going to go in.

Schreiner stepped down, and Judge Benjamin summoned Steve Greene for his opening statement.

“These allegations are ridiculous and unfounded,” said Greene, a high profile attorney which naturally, McAllister could afford despite it only being a two-month potential sentence, “A housekeeper found a packet in a hotel room and text messages were exchanged. I don’t know about you, but I text message people too, and that doesn’t mean I am using illegal drugs. The prosecution has no evidence of what was said in these text messages, and it is up for them to prove that they were incriminating, and it is not up for my client to prove that were not. Remember that, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. A guilty man, that being Richard Holmes, with every incentive to lie, made an unfounded statement on Channel 5 in Centralia. An investigation of patient records, however, found absolutely no connection between Holmes and McAllister until Di Bradini Cup 9, not World Cup 43. That’s a discrepancy of approximately twelve years. That is the basis of their arguments against my client, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It makes you wonder, why are we even wasting our time? It is simple. It is because Jeremy McAllister is a national icon in which someone stands to make a lot of money from if they can convict him. We’ve already seen this in Channel 5’s marketing since their reporter, Scott Davis, was the first to mention the story. Why would Jeremy McAllister hire me, for a minor sentence in the grande scheme of things? It’s because the man is innocent. He knows it. Why would I take this case when I could be defending wrongly charged murderers and such? It’s because I know this man is innocent and is the victim of a culture that loves seeing people suffer, especially successful people such as my client, because it makes them feel better about their own lives. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, please do not look at my client as a high profile athlete. Look at him as a common Newmanistanian, and perhaps a friend of yours if they were faced with this charge and the pathetic so-called evidence that the prosecution has.”

Greene sat back down and stared at his opponent, Schreiner, and they exchanged an evil eye. Scott Davis and a couple other of his assistant were examined and cross-examined, with much of the responses being quite predictable. Next the prosecution called Richard Holmes to the stand and he took his seat.

“Doctor, do you know that man personally?” (pointing to McAllister)

“Yes sir.”

“Is he a customer of yours?”

“Yes sir.”

“For how long have you had Mr. McAllister as a patient?”

“I have been seeing Jeremy for about sixteen years. He has frequently seen me for medical advice and advice in his overall training and what he could do to make himself better.”

“And how did you answer that?”

“Well we started with proper, legal supplements but he seemed less then excited about them. I did offer him Human Growth Hormone, which is illegal in Newmanistan but should not be I must add, and after thinking about it, he accepted it.”

“Approximately when did you give him HGH?”

“After World Cup 43, sir.”

“So he’s been using it that long?”

“Yes sir.”

“Thank you, I have no further questions.”

The judge asked Steve Greene if he had questions, and he stepped up.

“Doctor, how come no patient records were found in your office concerning my client until after Di Bradini 9, and even then, there was very little on him. Such a loyal client would have to have a big file, wouldn’t he?”

“We upgraded our computer system and some information was lost.”

“Really? Now there’s a made up answer if I’ve ever heard one before. If that was the case, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, wouldn’t this doctor then have much more to worry about then a drug, as in malpractice suits, if he lost files of supposedly loyal patients? Holmes, you’re a desperate man. And you’re doing anything now to save your name so you can spend less time in jail, aren’t you?”

“That is not true!”

“I’ll let the jury decide, I’m sure they can figure it out. I have no further questions.”

After a brief recess, the trial resumes and McAllister speaks. His answers are predictable in his defense. Greene is then asked if he has any witnesses.

“I have one to call to the stand. Sarah Edwards, please come up.” Sarah walks to witness stand and the people at channel 5 are dumbfounded. Scott Davis begins shitting is pants in fear. Why would she be coming to the podium to represent the defense? Sarah and Greene had been over these questions.

“Sarah do you know my client?”


“Do you know Doctor Holmes?”

“Yes, while I was working with Channel 5, I did an undercover operation to show that we would prescribe HGH to just about anyone, and he did.”

“What happened after that at Channel 5?”

“My boss, who I am sure won’t be at the end of the day, changed from being a nice guy to a complete jerk. He got power hungry and would not stop until he got what he wanted to hear, but he forced people to say what he wanted to hear.”

“Elaborate, please.”

“We had Brett Carlson who he thought would say what he wanted, but he did not. We had your client on who he hoped would say what he wanted but did not because I now believe that he was telling the truth, and then we had Doctor Holmes on, who did not give him the information he wanted either.”

“But we heard what Holmes said on air.”

“Originally Holmes said the same thing that Carlson and McAllister said, that the conversations didn’t begin to Di Bradini 9. My boss then flipped out and demanded and bribed Holmes to

“OBJECTION!!!” yelled Schreiner.

“Overruled, continue. I want her to finish the statement.” Demanded the Judge.

“He then bribed Holmes to say what he wanted, so he changed his story.”

“The prosecution may state the cause of their objection.”

“It’s hearsay, she has no proof of that. The jury must not be allowed to take that into consideration!”

“Does the defense wish to counter that?”

“While it could be seen that way, why would Miss Edwards come here to lie and inevitably get fired at the end of the day? So yes, maybe it is hearsay in a way, but it needs to be allowed, your honor, because it is very reasonable.”

“Agreed, the jury may consider Miss Edwards’ statement.” The judge ordered as Schreiner slammed his fist in disgust. “Do you wish to cross-examine the witness, Mr. Schreiner?”

“Why bother.”

“Very well, you may step down.”

Closing remarks are made and the jury excused to deliberate. They return less then half an hour later.

“Has the jury reached its decision?”

“Yes sir” said the foreman.

“How does the jury find Mr. Jeremy McAllister of the charges of illegal use of a steroid?”

“We have unaminously found the defendant not guilty, your honor!” McAllister did not cheer as loud as the plantiff’s groaned. For him, justice got served.

“Very well.” Stated the judge, “This court has found the defendant not guilty of this charge. This court is dismissed!”

(OOC: That's enough for tonight, no "Rocket Report" on top of it or else it might be longer then a C & M RP. Probably have more tomorrow).
27-05-2009, 17:39
(OOC: sorry for this, but I'll avoid this ad)
27-05-2009, 17:42
Partner of Globo Multimedia

WORLD CUP 46 – full coverage
By Nílton Meves – in-game comments of Breno Gavião



The Cafundelense National Team, during these last World Cups, especially since the team nearly won the competition, has been seen as one of the favourites to win the title, due to the talent of its players and the exciting offensive football it displays in most of the games. This cup, the situation wasn’t different, but the opinions of the people about the team after the 1x1 result against Lovisa had an impact over this image. Most of the top-ranked teams won their first round games, but Cafundéu didn’t (only Vephrall had similar disappointment), and some supporters started to question the strength of the team, as the qualifiers weren’t much viewed, and even during them the Monopolists collected some bad results. It is right that Lovisa had an excellent performance, so that’s why most people remained confident, but it is also right that the team couldn’t allow to not collect three points in the second game.

The second game was important for the Monopolists, for many different reasons. First, the team needed the three points in order to continue in the battle for qualification and the first place of the group. Second, because the game was against the country considered the biggest rival of the group, Capitalizt SLANI. And third, the victory was needed to keep the confidence of the supporters and maintain the morale of the players in a high level, as this situation started to be threatened by critics after the draw against Lovisa. In Cafundéu you could notice the importance of the game, with bars full of supporters, and many people being absent from work, something extremely rare in Cafundéu. The comments before the game, from players, experts, supporters, etc... Everyone said that the winner would get an extra motivation to battle for the World Cup title.

THE FIRST HALF: Capitalizt SLANI is known for having a very offensive team, using four attackers, and these tactics haven’t changed for the game against Cafundéu. The same happened in the Monopolists’ side, with Andreas Gilsoweller Veiga fielding the same team that played against Lovisa, keeping even the players who were criticized after the first game. With both teams playing offensive football, the game was very open, with many long passes and shot attempts, some accurate, some ridiculous. In the midfield, the game wasn’t violent, but more technical, which made it nice to watch. The teams seemed to alternate attacks until Alves received a through pass from Silveira, invading the area, dribbling the goalkeeper and touching the ball to send it to the open goal. 1x0 for Cafundéu.

Cafundéu even attempted to score the second goal minutes later, but it was Capitalizt SLANI which scored in order to attempt a reaction in the game. Pittman controlled the ball on the wing and crossed the ball to the area. Kardec left his goal in a bad way and Schwarz had no problems to head the ball and score. At that moment, the supporters were watching a much disputed game, and no one could predict the winner. For the Cafundelenses, that was a very tense situation. The drama lasted for many minutes, until the Monopolists scored another goal. Marcus Vinícius intercepted a pass in the midfield, and passed the ball to Hubert. The attacker avoided the defenders and shot, but the ball hit Jänicke. Serrano took the rebound and shot, but Wynn made an excellent save. Luckily for Cafundéu, the ball went to Renildo, who hit the ball with a curly shot to score the goal, the last of the first half.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 1 (Renildo’s goal): “Capitalizt SLANI now contrrrrrrols the ball, one to one is the scorrrrrreline, anything can happen! Haja Coração! Now ʼIm ʼIl-man is with the ball... I don’t know if I had spelt his name rrrrrrright, but it doesn’t matter... looks at Schwarrrrrrz at the attack, makes a pass... Marrrrrrcus Vinícius gets it, sets a pass to Huberrrrrrt, he shoots... blocked by the defence, Serrrrrrrrano to scorrrrrre the goal.... WYNN! What a save, the ball rrrrrremains with Rrrrrrenildo, the shot... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! Rrrrrrrrrrrrenildo, number six! Now the rrrrrresult is Cafundéu two, Capitalizt SLANI zerrrrro! Winter is coming, and you have to make a visit to Moderrrrrrrna Clothes to update your warrrrrdrrrrrobe! Coats with morrrrrre than thrrrrree kinds of different animal fur, and our incrrrrredible countrrrrry boots, made in the capital of the countrrrrry! Go check them now!”

THE SECOND HALF: the teams returned to the second half with different objectives: Cafundéu needed to guarantee the victory, while Capitalizt SLANI had to work towards a reaction, to get at least a draw. Veiga decided to maintain the same line-up of the first half, while the Paripana coach put attacker Gordon, with experience of playing in Cafundéu, into the game. But Capitalizt SLANI’s hopes were practically destroyed when Alves invaded the area and was kicked violently by Jūŋ Bog-il, who wanted to stop the play at all costs. Referee Al Melchett had no doubts, and called a penalty kick, also showing the defender the red card. Alves took the penalty kick and scored with a calm shot. After this play, Capitalizt SLANI had to re-organize the defence, and the team was unable to stay at the level of the Monopolists, which started to dominate the game.

It didn’t take long for Cafundéu to find an opportunity to score the fourth goal. Rogério found difficulties to cross the ball to the area, so decided to make a pass to Silveira, who was near the entrance of the area, instead. Good choice, as Silveira immediately shot the ball with strength, surprising the goalkeeper and scoring the goal, making the advantage even bigger. 4x1 was a really good result for the Monopolists, and the team was managing the ball possession really well, giving space for Veiga to make line-up changes, testing Matoso and Nakombi. But there was still time for more. Matoso breached a frustrated Capitalizt SLANI defence and made a low cross to Paquetá, who easily scored the fifth goal of Cafundéu. The Paripana players only had some happy news when Datena was sent off, and more later when Gordon scored a goal with a header. But nothing more, and the victory was for Cafundéu.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 2 (Alves’s goal [penalty – 2nd one]): “João Carrrrrrrlos with a long shot to the attack, Paquetá and Harrrrrding battle for the ball, no one gets it... it rrrrrreaches Alves in the attack, excellent drrrrribble over Jūŋ Bog-il, has the chance to scorrrrrre... is brrrrrrought down! It’s a penalty! Melchett confirms, and shows the rrrrred card to the defender! This can rrrrrreally decide the game in Cafundéu’s favour. Now Alves has the chance to scorrrrrre the goal, goes to take the penalty kick, shoots... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! The goalscorrrrrrrer is Alves, number seven! Now Cafundéu has thrrrrree goals, Capitalizt SLANI only one! Computerrrrrrrs, mobile phones, electrrrrrrronics, furrrrrrrniturrrrrre, equipments in generrrrrral... all these in good prrrrrrices only in Casas Jutense, wherrrrrre you can pay durrrrring a hundrrrrred and twenty months with interest rrrrrates of only ten perrrrrrcent per month!”

JORGE LANG’S INTERVIEWS: when the referee did the final whistle, the happiness was visible on the faces of the Cafundelense players, staff and supporters. Coach Gilsoweller Veiga said: “This is to send away the critics, and to keep the spirits up. We can win this World Cup, and we’re working for this objective.” Assistant Ignácio Velez added: “Now the qualification for the second round is very close, only a disaster will keep us out of it... but we want more, of course.” Player of the match Alves was the last to leave the field, hearing the applause of the supporters. Speaking to the media, he said: “It’s always good to win a football game, especially by a good result and playing good football. The three points are more important, of course, but it is also important to play with quality and to please the supporters.”

SUPPORTERS’ REACTIONS: “This was the best performance I’ve seen from the Cafundelense National Team for a long time” – Of course the supporters were excited with the positive result of their team, and confident about the future of the Monopolists in the competition. “The World Cup will be ours!” or “If we keep this form, it’ll be difficult to stop us!” were typical comments, although some players continued to receive critics, as in “Hubert was walking on the field again, Veiga must do something.” And the coach finally seemed to listen to these complaints, as both Hubert and Serrano, who didn’t have good performances in the first two games, will go to the bench for the next game. Another change is the entrance of William in the place of Datena, who is suspended, for the game against The Macabees.


Place: Stade Outineau, Outineau.
Attendance: 77,523 (2,523 people tried to enter without tickets, but were caught by the Police).
Time: 11:00 Cafundelense time (16:00 local time).
Climate: drizzle during most of the match, 19ºC.
Referee: Al Melchett (Krytenia).
Assistants: Icarus Brimn (Krytenia) and Jan Cabrenme (Starblaydia).
POTM: Alves (Cafundéu).

CAFUNDÉU: Kardec; Rogério, Renildo, João Carlos and Datena; Silveira, Marcus Vinícius (William 83’), Paquetá and Serrano (Nakombi 68’); Alves and Hubert (Matoso 71’).
Coach: Andreas Gilsoweller Veiga.

CAPITALIZT SLANI: Wynn; Beck, Jänicke and Jūŋ Bog-il; Pittman, ʼIm ʼIl-man and Harding (Núñez 75’); Byūŋ-gyo (Gordon 45’), Schwarz, Wennermann and Pollard (Hinze 57’).
Coach: ʼIm Li-yūŋ.

Goal:CAF: Alves 12’/57’ , Renildo 33’ , Silveira 66’ , Paquetá 79’.
CSL*: Schwarz 20’ , Gordon 90’.

* Globo Multimedia’s TLC for the country, used in the TV broadcast. Official one is COM.


Line-up for the next game: Kardec; Rogério, Renildo, João Carlos and William; Silveira, Marcus Vinícius, Jules and Paquetá; Alves and Nando.
Coach: Andreas Gilsoweller Veiga.

Referee: Mark Pedroza (Kura-Pelland).

WC goalscorers:

2- Paquetá, Alves
1- Renildo, Silveira
27-05-2009, 21:00
It's Kura-Progression
Starblaydia through to 2nd Round with win

Bazrador Drakkiborgo, fresh from Starblaydia's home performance* in the 26th AOCAF Cup, has come to Ad'ihan to lead his players for the first time in a World Cup. With the legendary Lex Panarii, manager for the last four tournaments, moved on to the Hall of Fame and the presidency of the World Cup Committee, Starblaydia have been fairing as well as ever in the time since his departure.

They've lost just one match in the fifteen played this campaign, a notable nine-goal thriller against Qazox on Matchday Three of the Qualifiers. They've also drawn four times, twice in the Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy that they eventually gave up for the first time in three editions to Krytenia, but beyond that: ten wins. Seven clean sheets. Not quite an improvement on the undefeated campaign of World Cup Forty-Five, but it's definitely the right steps on the path to a third title in six editions, a record-breaking fifth championship.

No matter the players, the opponents, the manager, the head of the SFA or any other personalities that can come and go, the Starblaydia national football team will only have one aim: win that elusive fifth World Cup and be crowned the greatest of all time. Bedistan couldn't do it, ending up being swallowed up into the Unified Capitalizt States. Rejistania couldn't do it, mostly thanks to Starblaydia. The echoes of that defeat in the 25th World Cup Final may finally be being silenced as Rejistania have now placed themselves back on the world stage. Valanora will be trying for their fourth, of course, and they represent the greatest current threat to Starblaydia proving themselves as the best ever. The Vanorians want four titles to draw level with Rejistania, Bedistan and Starblaydia, followed soon after by number five.

Few nations will ever get anywhere near to this paradigm of footballing success. Starblaydi fans themselves surely pinch themselves whenever they look through their list of oft-mentioned achievements. It may just be luck, effort, funds, or it may be something deeper, but the fans believe there is a reason why they are able to celebrate as often as they do. If there is any one player, though, who will be the reason for Starblaydia's resurgence in fortunes, it will be their twenty-three year old number seven, Alessandro Gomes. Learning his trade from the feet of Vanorian legend Faeron Soldarian, Gomes has claimed himself a new style of player in Starblaydi football. Though attacking midfielders there have been a-plenty throughout Starblaydi history, you just need to look across to Ázëwyn Fëanáro for the example of a player who sits in midfield and pulls the creative strings.

What Starblaydia haven't had before, at least no-one who's truly commanded the pitch such as him, is the player who has been that midfield playmaker but has also had the skills to go up front and hold his own in the dangerous area amongst the centre backs. Go back a hundred years and you will find the bustling Giannis Berisha, the first of the type. Fabricio de Souza Lima was the complete crafty and tricky mind, while the agile and scampering Syku-Lyku Agbayani was never short of a goal or two. World Cup winner Menecrates, too, was this sort of player but, crucially, none of them bossed the entire team around at the age of twenty-three.

None of them claimed a shirt number outside the standard number eight, worn by nearly every player who has been the offensive tip of the midfield diamond that has been so famously and continuously perfected in Starblaydia's national team. No-one has been able to tell Valrauncion exactly where he can shove his ego without causing an on-pitch fight. No-one, bar perhaps Jaime Kuu, has been able to step into a team surrounded by elves and play like he's not just one of them, but better than them.

So good, in fact, that he scored five goals in nine appearances during the Qualifiers. Starblaydia's main striker, Valrauncion, managed precisely the same figures. Gomes nearly took the lead in their own little race by scoring against Prux in the first match of the finals, but Valrauncion nipped in to smash it over the line when it was clearly goal-bound.

Things have been evened up, however, as Gomes netted the second against Kura-Pelland, after Soronúmë had netted the first. The third goal that saw Starblaydia seal the game in their favour was from young substitute Soraya Roshanak, her fifth goal in ten games so far this campaign.

Youth, experience and goals a-plenty. A new manager, a new system, a new 4-2-3-1 formation. Same old Starblaydia.

* OOC Note: The 26th AOCAF Cup, hosted in Starblaydia, is supposed to have long finished, ICly, by the time the World Cup started. As of this writing, Starblaydia made it though rather easily to the Quarter-Finals, as per usual.
28-05-2009, 03:39
After Sarzonia's last training session before their fixture against world champions Candelaria and Marquez, Franz Braddock stood off to the side while assistant manager Ganz Ijak gave verbal instructions.

It was quite the journey. He could say the same thing about his football career and his life as a whole after 83 years on this earth. However, he wasn't thinking about his glory days as manager of Cafundéu's national side. He wasn't thinking back to his club roots with Petardos S/A.

He was thinking about the opportunities he chased to return to the sidelines. After a dozen years, he was beginning to wonder if he would ever manage again. Too old, most of the critics said. Outdated offensive system, others argued. Unable to relate to young players, still others claimed.

There was one other concern the Sarzonians brought up when he interviewed. At that point, no foreign-born manager ever scrawled a starting 11 for Sarzonia. For someone who didn't speak English as a first language, a communications barrier was a risk. More importantly, Sarzonian culture was idiosyncratic. Assuming Sarzonians thought the same way as their parent nation the United States of America was wrong. On some level, they were similar. In other ways, they were very different.

However, when Braddock walked into a room and saw a dark brown mahogony table with men and women mostly in their 40s and 50s leaning back in brown Pacitalian leather chairs facing him, he saw a welcome silver mane of hair on the gentleman sitting directly across from him.

"Greetings Coach Braddock," IFF chairman Dave Wilson said. "If you'd like to remind the Board of your qualifications, feel free to take a moment to do so."

"Thank you," Braddock began. He briefly touched on his experience managing Cafundéu in the World Cup, from taking a debutant Monopolists side into the World Cup proper in their first attempt. He mentioned his Petardos S/A managerial tenure.

But then he did something that clinched it for Wilson. He talked about Sarzonian culture, their intense competitiveness, the zest for winning, their original meteoric rise from a collection of weekend footballers to Baptism of Fire Cup, Cup of Harmony and later World Cup champions, becoming the first team to win both the Baptism of Fire Cup and the World Cup.

He talked about the team's rapid re-emergence on the world's sporting scene. He mentioned Sarzonia's surprising lifetime success against Valanora, made all the more remarkable by the fact that the unranked Stars added to that success against two-time defending World Cup champions and consensus number one Valanora.

"This is a team I would be deeply honoured to manage," he said. "I believe my offensive system would mesh well with the players you have now. And, I believe my offensive system would mesh well with what Brian is trying to do."

He then thought back to that morning when he'd arisen and poured himself a cup of coffee. He looked out the window as the radio announcer intoned that Newmanistan named Nelson Yaschter their manager. He'd allowed Hypocria's managerial decision, Krytenia's to become part of the background noise of disappointment.

Finally, as he looked out the window at the bright sunlight, his phone rang. He walked to the phone, took a deep breath and picked up.

"Franz Braddock."

"Coach, this is Dave Wilson."

"Hello coach," Braddock said. He fully expected to hear Wilson tell him they went with another manager.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news," Wilson said gravely.

"I knew it," Braddock whispered.

"For another coach," Wilson said. "We're naming you the national team manager."

Braddock nearly dropped his phone.

"What? I thought you said it was bad news."

"I said it was bad news for another coach. It's great news for you. We believe you will be the next manager to take the Stars into the World Cup proper."

If I don't die from a heart attack from the shock first, Braddock thought in the Cafundelense lanaguage.

"Do you accept?"

"Can you e-mail me the contract proposal?"

"Sure. It's in your inbox now, if I'm not mistaken."

Back in the present, Braddock turned back as he watched Diogo Avarel explaining something to Matt Lynch. He smiled faintly, but sweetly.

It was a long, strange trip. But he wouldn't have had it any other way.
28-05-2009, 03:52
One Game Decides Future

In an earlier headline we noted about the fact that the Knights were heading into their final game of the World Cup Proper and would need to win or go home after a 1-1 tie with Group heavyweight. Doug Newier propeeled the Knights into the tie with his 77th minute goal, after and earlier goal by a Bazalonian striker. It was Newier's fifthteenth goal international one of probally only 5-10 Taeshani players Newier is now in a smaller group of international Taeshani elite, but has far to go in the future as he is not even starting yet. The future though looks good, and based on tommorrows game the Knights may find themselves close to international glory and an elite group of high teams.
28-05-2009, 04:03
World Cup 46 Qualification - Group 12 (Q) 1st
PRQ: vs 1-0 [99] Norwellia (@ Sanhaemun Football Stadium, Cheonjin - 60,000)
MD1: vs 4-1 [24] Jeru FC (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira - 55,000)
MD2: @ 1-0 [84] Kagdazka (@ kak po russky...?)
MD3: vs 5-1 [110] The Bear Islands (@ Potala, Lasa - 34,000)
MD4: @ 4-1 [132] Threetime (@ Triple Trisomy?)
MD5: vs 1-0 [57] Quintessence of Dust (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong - 150,000)
MQ: @ [33] 2-3 Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colesseum - a lot of small people)
MD6: @ 3-3 [24] Jeru FC (@ barbarians' hut)
MD7: vs 7-0 [84] Kagdazka (@ Silk Road Stadium, Seoan - 56,000)
MD8: @ 0-0 [110] The Bear Islands (@ GAH! BARS! ... oh, that's bears, nvm...)
MD9: vs 3-1 [132] Threetime (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong - 65,000)
MD10: @ 1-2 [57] Quintessence of Dust (@ Arena of Dreams, Nowy Orpington - at least there isn't any trash here)
PTQ: vs 1-1 Sarzonia (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium, Hangyeong - 200,000)
World Cup 46 - Group A
MD1: vs 4-2 [20] Jeru FC (@ Stade des Îles, Ad’ihan - 92,000)
MD2: vs 3-4 [14] Ad'ihan (@ Bridge Road, Oldbridge - 64,000)
MD3: vs [33] Newmanistan (@ Bridge Road, Oldbridge - 64,000)
R32: ??? (@ ??? - ###)

*** Somewhere - I don't know, use your imagination! ***

Kim waited for a long time from the top of his couch. Whatever it was that was at his door seemed to be gone, and beyond all doubt, he wasn't the only person left. Whatever that was, it was still out there somewhere, and just to be safe, Kim locked all of the doors and the windows. He barricaded the windows with dressers, and the door had a chest standing in front of it. All that was left was his couch. And he was sitting atop it. But everything now gave him the spooks.

How did it come to this? What was going on? How could he be the only person left in the city? What was that thing?

By chance, a little slip of paper flew through the window crack and landed square on the floor. It was a brochure. Odd place for a brochure to land, especially so bland and dreadful. Lacking anything else to read, he picked it up. On the front cover was a picture of the clown! It nearly gave him the spooks again, but he was sensible enough to know that it was just a picture of a clown. It read oddly enough: "Gaiathanaton ariealis."

"What the hell?" he uttered under his breath as he read the brochure silently. "Gaiathanaton ariealis is an infectious plague, first discovered in sheep. It is a viral infection caused by a retorvirus, which crossed over into humans early in its existence. While some cases of Gaiathanaton ariealis may result in severe complications, most people are silent carriers of this disease. At the moment, nearly 99.99% of all humans have contracted some form of this virus as a result of its largely lysogenic lifestyle (i.e. the pro-viroid genes rest dormantly within the human genome). In most cases, our natural immunity is able to fend off any instances of the infection. But a rare spontaneous mutation has occurred in one individual - whose identity shall not be revealed at the moment for his safety and security - which has caused the virus to undergo a rapid lytic degeneration. Virtually every virus that carries this gene will cause mental deterioration of the host, which may or may not include insomnia, senility, dementia, and occasionally death. We urge all people to stay indoors and remain away from windows. Although most doctors believe that transmission of this virus is non-respiratory, we are still uncertain how this virus passes between individuals. For your safety, avoid contacts with other people until otherwise told."

Kim read on to hear some more facts about "Gaiathanaton ariealis" in the brochure, but reading more about why the world was ending was disheartening. After all of these years, the disease that would end the human world was always already inside the human? How then could we do anything about it? It's like trying to cure yourself of eating and drinking, when all of your life has become dependent upon eating and drinking for sustenance (although there could be much to be said about whether this virus provided any sustenance at all). But if everyone was already dead, then why was there a %$#^ clown stuck outside his door?

He read on: "The most common clinical display of Gaiathanaton ariealis has been unnatural deformation of dermatological physiologically, most noticeably the reduction of natural melanin pigment in the skin and tissue specific increases in capillary dilation, particularly around the rectum, the nose, and occasionally the eyes. If you spot an individual displaying these symptoms, please run away as fast as you can." Reading that last phrase got him awfully hungry for some odd reason, and he decided to tread quickly over to the refrigerator. Hopefully, he'd have something to eat inside...

He Definitely Can't Get That Right!

OLDBRIDGE - Okay, what part of don't lose does he understand? It's apparently either the don't or the lose; in either case, he's doing a marvelous job at it. Despite subbing on Shin Ganyak again for Kim Mihyeon, the Han were even worse off in the second half, conceding all but a single goal that the Han had established in the first half. In fact, it was an impressive 2-1 lead that the Han had brought to the first part of the interval, and thanks largely to Kim Jongguk's saving grace, the Han were still in the race. But after Kim Yongji managed to pull out a yellow card - for which he will be missing the final match of the Group, Kim Jingyu managed to exacerbate the problem, coming on for Kim Jinsaek for this match, by earning himself his complimentary red card of the World Cup. Even with Hui Yongjun coming out, the Han were mercilessly beaten 4-3.

Once again, it all started with the first whistle. Thankfully, no bananas, but it was an unusual start with a parade of slugs. Yep, the nasty vermin invaded the pitch, and rather than resort to the usual "n00k 'em" method (i.e. sprinkling salt), the Ad'ihani officials tried scooping them up with pooperscoopers. No clue who came up with that idea, but the game had to be delayed some 50 minutes, and somewhat rustled fans were upset that the referee wasn't going to give back the time. What? Was it doing favors to the Ad'ihani team not to give back the time? Anyways, I think the ref added it back in extra time (you'll see that later)... Regardless, the slugs were gone, and the pitch was pretty much slimy. Thankfully, the rain washed all of that away, and the capacity crowd managed to cheer Ad'ihan to a first goal in the 4th minute (oh wait, make that the 7th minute).

Ioshido Toki was flabbergasted as to how Kim Jongguk could make such an infantile mistake, but he had managed to find one last slug that the groundskeeper didn't find - in his glove, which made his save attempt rather gooey. Needless to say, the last slug was more like a slug-burger in that glove, so the Han spent a minute or so waiting for Kim Jongguk to get matching gloves. Sure, the Ad'ihanis booed us (for wasting their time? I think not), but Kim Jongguk particularly liked that pair of gloves. Finding a matching pair that he liked was like buying a new pair of shoes. Well, that episode done, Jeong Jihun managed to make some dazzling plays in midfield (he really doesn't belong there, but who cares?) before passing out wide to Yi Yeongpyo, who netted the first Han goal of the match. It was a brilliant strike from just outside the perimeter, and while the Ad'ihani goalkeeper didn't look like he had slugs in his gloves, he couldn't parry the ball far enough to bend beyond the reach of the posts. Kim Mihyeon managed to pull it up for 2-1 by the half hour (+slug time), when An Pilrip curled in a nasty cross that connected to her breasts of all places. I'm not sure what happened next, but a number of Ad'ihani players tried to protest the goal, saying that her breasts were an unnatural extension of her body, much akin to her arms. And the fact that her uniform was wet as it was seemed to suggest that the thing with the boobs should be a handball or whatever. But I guess the referee was a bit post-modernist and thought otherwise, letting the goal slide for a slender 2-1 Han lead.

But as I've stated, the game really slid in the second half, almost immediately after the interval. It really began when the rain was pouring heavily, and a cat fell from the sky. Literally. I think the meteorologists said that a tornado from a storm some thousands kilometers managed to lift the poor little fellow really high into the sky, where the prevailing winds carried the cat to the stadium. And it wasn't just in the stadium, but a general city-wide event that was a bit shocking for many people who had probably never seen something as bizarre as that. Anyway, the reason why I mention the cat was because it landed on Kim Jongguk. And it was still very alive when it fell. And the moment it landed, it started to maul Kim Jongguk. Poor guy, he certainly wasn't in the mood for taking up a call. And so, scratched up by this poor cat, Ioshido had to choose between Kim Jiwun and Bong Junho. Oh, why did he choose the latter?

And so Bong Junho could redeem himself by putting on a show. Instead, he bumbled the goal kick that landed square at the feet of an Ad'ihani striker, who simply made piecemeal work of the keeper. And then, after Kim Yongji got his exclusive yellow card for tackling late on a striker who still managed to score on Bong Junho (take him! please!). And to top off this ice cream of mayhem, Kim Jingyu had to get himself expelled for kicking an Ad'ihani player in the head. Actually, it wasn't that that got him the red card. It was kicking the ref in the groin after getting warned that he was kicking too high. Needless to say, I hope that that's the last time Kim Jingyu gets stuck on our national team; that said, I really do hope that we manage to find more talent on defense. In any case, the ensuing free kick - from a phenomenal distance - managed to test everyone's nerves. And even if Bong Junho was a superstar goalkeeper (which he is not), he still would not have caught that kick. In the span of 15 minutes, it was 4-2, to Ad'ihan. This was certainly no way to end a game, and while Jeong Jihun did manage to salvage was pride was left by forcing a defensive error, a loss is still a loss, and that makes this last match against Newmanistan ever so more important. I don't care that they're on a roll, we are going to beat them or wave good-bye to World Cup 46.

Although it wouldn't be surprising. Our experiences with Ad'ihan have been less than fruitful. World Cup 37 - everyone knows that that is the season the Han fared their worst. And yes, Ad'ihan cohosted that tournament. Sure, we didn't qualify, but they were still around when we were getting clobbered by whoever was in our group (it's been a long time...). World Cup 39, we met in the R16, where they dismantled our team. And in World Cup 41, they co-hosted with us, and we did perhaps a worse job than in World Cup 40. World Cup 44, we met again in the R16, where we managed to beat them and face off against the Elves (damned elves). We lost that one in a PK match. Just in general, Ad'ihan is bad news for the Han. And I can largely expect to find a resurgent Newmanistanian team - paid for by Samseong, of course - to roll over the Han, because on that day, Kim Jongguk is going to die. Yes, he is going to die. I mean, game one - bloodying fucking nose puts him out of the game; game two - a fucking cat falls from the sky and mauls his face. I think God is going to fancy humouring us with a giant 1093-ton anvil (ed. - think it's heavy enough?) on him. And then we'll be stuck with Bong Junho, regardless, because Ioshido Toki will not place Kim Jiwun unless Bong Junho is also crushed by said 1093-ton anvil. That said, it'd be nice if Ioshido were also crushed by same said 1093-ton anvil.

Goal Scorers
15 - Jeong Jihun (3)
9 - Kim Mihyeon (1)
5 - Baek Jihun (1)
3 - Mun Seongmyeong, Pak Yongho, Shin Ganyak (1)
1 - Kim Gwangseok, Kim Yongji, An Pilrip, Hui Yongjun, Yi Yeongpyo (1)
28-05-2009, 05:25
Griffinville Gazette

The fear that Prux goalkeeper Princess had rabies might have sparked the Canines to an impressive 6-2 win over Peisandros, despite allowing two early goals, due to Princess receiving medical tests to determine if she had rabies.

In net for the bitch was Sparky a 5 yr old Old English Sheepdog, who allowed goals from George Theotokis in the 15th and Costa Theotokis in the 24th.

But every dog has their day, and lead by two goals from Growler, in the 29th and 41st minutes the teams were tied at the half. Princess, who was cleared of having rabies, was allowed to come in as a sub, but at the expense of Sparky. But the fear of rabies spread thoughout the Peisandrosians and Prux scored 4 goals in the second half. 2 goals from Spot (58th and 63rd), and one each from Frank (75th) and Frankie Baby a 2 yr old Great Dane, (85th).

So now its a showdown against Kura-Pelland, a team from the same qualifying group as Prux. In the first meeting, in Kura-Pelland, ended 1-1, while the rematch in Prux was a 4-3 Canine win. Can the Canines pull off another upset and advance or will K-P pull through? The Canines only need to draw to advance, while Kura-Pelland must win to do so.
28-05-2009, 05:53


City of Ad’ihan, Ad’ihan- Jeru FC will go down in history as the first nation in which Newmanistan ever defeated in World Cup play, as the Rockets edged the Soldiers 1-nil. The performance in which the Rockets put forth far exceeded what we saw against Ad’ihan. With a game behind them, and not having to worry about an energetic home crowd, Newmanistan was much more relaxed in the contest. Unlike the first game, where our supporters trying to get tickets was basically a lost cause, Stade de Iles seemed to be at least half-full of people wearing the sky blue and white and they were vocal in their support. This pressure forced Jeru FC to have to adjust its tactic and focus on a defensive 5-3-1 approach, and this worked until very late in the game. It was there that Jennifer Vilardi, who plays her professional football in Jeruselem, scored the lone goal of the match. The Rockets were sure to immediately retrieve the ball so that it can be permanently be displayed in the Newmanistanian World Football Hall of Fame as the first goal ever scored by the Empire at this level.

So now, we have at least one game remaining, and Newmanistan will head to Oldbridge to take on Daehanjeiguk in a crucial game for both teams. The teams are tied for second with identical 1-0-1 records, so the winner is going to advance out of the group stage. For Newmanistan, this would be a wonderful accomplishment and the team will have confidence that they can beat Daehanjeiguk, simply because many of them already have a win over the Han in their back pocket. It was only a friendly (pre-World Cup 45) with not even 1.093% the significance level of the game we will see tomorrow, but that is not the point. They’ve beaten Daehanjeiguk, and that’s all that matters to keep the Han from being an intimidating opponent. Daehanjeiguk is the higher ranked side, and with the way goal differentials will work, they will advance if the match ends in a draw, and they will certainly go all out because their fans expect nothing less then a round of 16 showing. They want a World Cup, and feel that they are more then due for one. As much confidence as Newmanistan might have knowing that they won that friendly, Daehanjeiguk is just as well aware that the last time the teams met, the Rockets won. Therefore, they will not be caught off-guard. The only certain winner we can predict right now will be Samseong, the Daehanjeiguk-based sponsor of our national team.

The way we see it,
Newmanistan will win if:
A) Billy Prescott can do his thing masterfully. Now, we said this was a key to the Ad’ihan game and it didn’t exactly work that way, but the Han can at times be an undisciplined team that takes cards. They also have a tendency to do a lot of barking at the referees wanting fouls and cards for the most trivial of things. They can easily be rattled, and if Prescott is on his game, then this will happen. And Nelson Yaschter knows this. He announced that Brittany Prescott, who’s just as physical, will start in place of Nick Roberts. The Rockets intend on getting rough with Daehanjeiguk, and the Han will need to stay focused. They don’t always do that.

B) They are not intimidated by the prestige of the Han. Let’s face it, Daehanjeiguk is one of the best teams in the World, and they will win a World Cup eventually, and probably within the next two decades. Newmanistan, while in their seventh World Cup cycle but first World Cup Proper, has never been in a game of this significance at this late of a stage in the World Cup before, and that could cause nerves. Nelson Yaschter needs to remind the team that they have been in big games before. After all, they’ve won the last two Cup of Harmony championships, so they know what it’s like in a big game. They will need to bring that mentality to Bridge Road.

Daehanjeiguk will win if:
A) They score the first goal. In their history, the Rockets have done a decent job coming from behind, but not at all in this World Cup cycle. If the Han get on the board first, and especially early, they are less likely to be goaded into the physical aspects of the Prescott’s. In order for that to be effective, they have to be frustrated. The Rockets have had several 1-0 defeats in qualifying. If it looks like that is in the works again, it will be frustration of their own that sets in.

B) They remain disciplined. Yes, we realize this all ties into the other points, but it cannot be emphasized enough. They are the better team, and if they play typical Han-football, they will win. It’s as simple as that. On paper anyway, once the game starts and the emotions get running on the field, this will be a lot harder to maintain.

So what does the coach think about all of this? Our Jason Richards sat down with Nelson Yaschter to see what he is thinking right now.

JR: Good evening, Jason Richards here with the coach of the Rockets, Nelson Yaschter, and here we are Nelson, the final sixteen can be attained. How are you feeling?

NY: I’m happy that we have put ourselves in this situation. The team has done a great job, and we can certainly see what might lie ahead for us.

JR: The Han are one of the best teams in the world, so this will not be easy.

NY: Certainly not, they are a great team.

JR: Newmanistan defeated Daehanjeiguk the last time the teams met in a convincing fashion in a friendly. It was just a mere irrelevant pre-qualifying friendly, or is there relevance?

NY: There’s relevance in that our players know that there is precedent for us beating them, regardless of the actual players on the pitch. The Han know this too, we’re not going to catch them sleep-walking.

JR: You announced that you will be starting Brittany Prescott. This is an obvious intention to play physical given a Han tendency to become undisciplined in such games, but aren’t you worried about her lack of experience?

NY: Myself and my assistants did consider that, but Brittany is smart and her style of play will really benefit us based on the history of our opponent. She earned her spot on merit and is more then qualified.

JR: Good luck coach.

NY: Thank you.
Jeru FC
28-05-2009, 06:17
Oksana "Pups" Ferris with her mother Scarlet "Scooter" Ferris

Pups: Look it's something from Billy!
Scooter: Doesn't look like big present.
Pups: Bigger isn't always better Mum.
Scooter: For some things it is!

Pups: Well, that's a different kind of present.
Scooter: So what's in there?

<Pups opens the package>

Scooter: How sweet, a ring and necklace.
Pups: Wow, it's an expensive ring.
Scooter: Yeah, hang on ... that's a wedding ring.
Pups: Looks more expensive than yours Mum

Scooter: That's because I kinda smashed the stone in mine. Never wear your wedding ring when working on the farm.
Pups: Wedding ring ... he's asking me to ...
Scooter: He wants to marry him my girl.
Pups: I'll SAY YES

Scooter: I'm having grandkids!
Pups: Hey, not so fast Mum. I'm not pregnant yet.
Scooter: So, when's the wedding now.
Pups: Well, I'll have to ask Billy. I mean he's got the World Cup and I'm going to Robot land.

Scooter: I'm surprised he wants to settle down and have a family.
Pups: If you find the right person, then people want to settle down.
Scooter: You don't seem excited.
Pups: I am! I'm just trying control myself.

Scooter: Send him a video message of your acceptance.
Pups: I'll make sure he's going get the naked truth!
Scooter: More sexting?
Pups: He needs a reminder what Mrs Billy Prescott looks like.

Scooter: He's fine young man.
Dad: What's going on?
Pups: I'm going get married! Billy has proposed.
Dad: Nice ring, he's serious it seems.

Scooter: No complaints?
Dad: Well, he seems a hard working young man with a good family. You can't ask for more for your daughter really unless he's King Henry.
Pups: I like him too but I'll have my Billy.
Scooter: I suppose, it's time to build a new nursery!

Dad: I forgot the old nursery is now a duck pen.
28-05-2009, 11:41
Cal in quit shock

Oldbridge, GRAND ISLAND— The Football Federation of Ad’ihan have confirmed rumours that national team manager Devida Cal is to step down from his position with effect of the end of Ad’ihan's run in World Cup 46.

The Vanorian-born Cal, who holds dual-Vanorian and Ad’ihani citizenship, took over as manager during World Cup 43 qualifiers, and in 62 games in charge has led Ad’ihan to 41 wins — the best winning record for any Ad’ihani manager in history at 66.1 per cent.

AFF chairman Luke Evans, who was Cal's predecessor as manager of Ad’ihan, said Cal's decision to step down had been a personal one, suggesting he might return to Valanora for family or career issues. Evans, who in 63 games managing Ad’ihan racked up eight wins less than Cal has to date, says the AFF has yet to find a replacement.

The news has shocked and upset fans and players alike. Team captain Anthony Jones, who has played for both Evans and Cal at international level, issued a statement on behalf of his teammates which urged fans to respect Cal's choice.

"While it comes as a surprise, the players would like to show their support and appreciation for what Devida Cal has done for Ad’ihani football, and call on all fans and the nation to understand and respect his decision," the statement said.

According to sources close to the manager, Cal is supposed to have made his decision after the 4–3 win for Ad’ihan over Daehanjeiguk, a result which improved their all-time record against the Hans to 4-1-1 thanks to goals from Francis Doyle (7'), Kieran Ó Branagáin (48'), Greg Innisvale (52') and Jones (63').

Cal is set to play a weakened team against Jeru FC at Protectorate Stadium, with Ad’ihan's qualification to the round of 16 secure. Jeru FC have nothing to play for, and the worst that can happen will be Ad’ihan falling to second in the group.
Candelaria And Marquez
28-05-2009, 13:02
The Burnaby experience was everything Kirkenes had been not. In general, most Candelariasians find the coddling presence of the nanny state rather comforting – an interesting aspect of their national psyche, and one which we’d spend a little more time investigating in quite some detail if we had the time, energy or, indeed, could be bothered – but even the most cosseted of travelling supporters had to admit that presence of a vast number of gentlemen in suits both before and after the opening game had rather stifled the air of excitement as the Big Blues had begun their bid to retain the country’s World Cup crown.

Of course, no-one wanted to be slashed in the buttocks by any of those unruly Kirkenes locals, and you heard such terrible things – admittedly mainly from the aforementioned suited men, but still – about Zemyzha Myzhent’s own army of supporters; although wasn’t it a curious thing that the Kelssekians themselves – who speak English, usually, and actually aren’t that unlike us at all – call that country ‘Gordon Bay City’, y’know, like the Gordon Bay City we’ve got, the one with all the bird flu and the… thing that happened back in the sixties, I mean what are the chances?

But anyway, the Foreign Office had decreed that Burnaby was a far more civilized destination, with only a few straggling Lovisans and Cafundelense wandering about, and they were never any trouble to anyone, were they? Elgin Dannat’s Bluwengrin Army were instead left more-or-less to their own devices, free to meander around the city at will, and sample its myriad joys. The skiing! The avant garde music scene! The big lake! The… extensive network of bus services! The heroin! The modern art gallery! For your average, little-travelled Candelariasian this was an unparallel opportunity to immerse oneself in an once-in-a-lifetime cultural experience.

A large number of them were therefore currently in O’Keefe’s. There’s a Northlandish pub everywhere.

“Yeah, but… No. Because… They’re a good side.”

“Yeah. ‘Course. They wouldn’t be at the World Cup otherwise, would they?”

“Peisandros are.”

“Good point, Stelios. We should roll over ‘em, Terry.”

“Ted, they’re former World Cup champions!”

“Um…” Ted’s eyes scrunched momentarily in the face of new knowledge, but he soon rallied. “Well, so? So’re Rejistaniania! Didn’t put up much of a fight, did they? So we should definitely put out a second ecs-aye. Give Rosalia a game, Logan, Adams…”

“Nah, yer talking out of yer craic, mate. ‘Cos if yer Sarzonians beat us, right, and then, um…”

“Dancougar beat Rennidan, Santi.”

“Yeah,” Santiago agreed gratefully, “Then we’ll all be on six, right, and that means, that, on goal diff… Er…”

“Nah, ‘cos on heads-to-heads, right, then you’d have them ahead of… no you wouldn’t…”

The stared at their pints thoughtfully.

“In any case, right, it’s all about building momentum, innit? We need our first team out there for that.”

“Aye. We can rest players in the second round instead, can’t we? ‘Cos Group E’s as cack as owt. Apart from Kelssek ‘emselves, by the looks of it. But they’ll finish first, with a bit of luck, and we won’t have to play ‘em.”

“Yeah. They’re all so… old, aren’t they? ‘Squite, y’know, odd. When you think about it.”

Ted shrugged. “It’s just time dilation, innit? Perfectly natural phenomenon, they always says on the telly. Nothing remotely weird about that.”

“Nah, nah, ‘course. Just… feels like it’s weird, dunnit? They’ve got bags of experience anyway, that’s all I’m saying. Wouldn’t want to play ‘em again.”

“We prob’ly won’t have to, mate, if we play our strongest side against Sarzonia! That’s what I’ve bin saying!”

“I still say they should give Ibadulla the afternoon off, though. Stick Spooner and Adams up there, they’ll run rings around that Maxwell. Not as though he’s ever pulled up any trees for Radyukevich, is it?”

“Different Maxwell, mate.”

“How many Maxwell’s do they have in Sarzonia!?”

“I dunno. Two? It’s that George Morrison we’ve got to watch, anyway. He could get the better of our Gwyn, if we’re not careful.”

“Naah. He’s… one of them, isn’t it?”

“What, Morrison?”

“Yeah! Didn’t you know? Nothing against ‘em personally, of course, it’s not, y’know…”


“Yeah, that. Not that. Crops up in the wild, nothing… sinister about it, ultimately. Fine body of men, as a rule. But, y’know… They’ve got no stomach for it, have they? When the going gets tough an’ all, you need… Proper men, y’know? Not some flighty little wotzit simpering about, whining all the time. They can’t take a kicking, lads, and that’s the long an’ short of it. They’re all basically girls.”

The others stared at him, shocked expressions etched upon their faces.

“That’s not very modern of you, Ted…”

“Ain’t going t’back away from me opinions, Terry. He’s a left midfielder, when’s all’s said and done. They’re all the same.”

“We should stick ‘em all on an island.”

“Shut up, Santi.”

“Anyway,” Terry ventured after a while, “Are we all agreed, then? We play the first team against Sarzonia, but give Abdul a rest.”

“Yeah. Not that, y’know… we actually have any say in it, or owt. I mean, we should probably leave it to the journalists an’ that.”

“Yeah. Except we can’t, can we?” Stelios muttered, speaking for them all. He glanced at the laptop lying in front of Terry. “Gowon… Just have another look.”

“It’s not going t’be any different, mate, you know it’s not…”

“Yeah, but… Try anyway.”

Terry relented, and within a few minutes – and following an extended argument with the publican and the exchange of wires and loonies – the Islands of North-West Rushmore sat proudly on Goggle Multiverse. East Island, which looked unaccountably like Marquez, squatted bathed in its distressingly lush forests. West Island, which possessed an undeniably Candelarian flavour, was an altogether more #ACE1AF affair, representing the worryingly untouched pastures and whatnot that stretched from north to south and east to west. Of course, barring a couple of little rectangles here and there, it was basically blurred and covered with clouds. You couldn’t actually make out details, or anything. But that wasn’t really much of a comfort.

“Maybe… Maybe it’s supposed to look like that from space?”

“Ted, we know it doesn’t. In any case, that doesn’t actually explain the absence of any websites and stuff, does it? Or sports journalism? Or the fact that we can’t seem to actually phone home, or anything? Or that, and I think this is quite important, no-one here actually seems to recognise us.”

“No-one recognises Kosovoe, what’s your point?”

“Ted, the bloody national football team’s all anyone knows about Candelaria And Marquez!”

“Yeah. And? How’s that any different to normal?”

Terry had to concede that particular point, but… Well, maybe Ted was right. Undoubtedly there were perfectly logical explanations for the fact that it did really rather seem, and only seem, let us stress, and appearance can be deceiving, can’t they?; that Candelaria And Marquez didn’t appear to actually exist. Or to ever have done.

Of course, Terry reasoned, there had to be a country out there somewhere, didn’t there? Else, how could they have a national team?

And then Terry’s brain dredged up the term ‘Jeru FC’, and his face fell.

It was nice to get away from the Candelarias, after all. But not, like… forever.
Gordon Bay City
28-05-2009, 13:22
Mark Baker breathed in, letting the air inside the Sky Dome wash through his nostrils and fill his pores. Fifty-something thousand… people, for want of a better word, their chants, songs, shouts, barks and occasional unholy moans swirling beneath the roof. Granted, comfortably over two thirds of those in the songs, chants and shouts categories were in French, never a language that your average Candelariasian feels especially at home with, but the mystery of it all just served to add to the ambience in the manager’s mind.

Now, this – this was a World Cup atmosphere. It had taken a couple of decades, but Mark knew he had finally arrived.

And he was going to enjoy it. Sure, his team were going to bough out in about five minutes, for all intents and purposes. Gordon Bay City might’ve put the willies up the Jews during qualifying, by the French were made of sterner stuff. No horny camel or floating head was going to put them off.

In truth, Mark hadn’t expected to get much off of Kelssek in the previous week’s opener, a side he’d repeatedly struggled against years ago at the helm of the Big Blues. So much had changed in his life since then, but somehow the faces stayed the same. Certainly the Kelssekian ones, anyway. Mark had wondered vaguely how they coped in international sport without time dilation technology, but he realised now that that was probably the wrong sort of question.

Point was though, Ian Sinclair had been a thorn in his side longer than more than a couple of today’s Candelariasian internationals had been alive. You had to go right back to the start of World Cup Thirty-Seven qualifying to find a time when he’d got one over the much-travelled striker, over in Outineau. And then he’d come home to Albrecht, and gone through the motions at a press conference or something, and then he’d been politely pushed into an unmarked car and driven around for a while, and been introduced to a man called Lyndon Hernández, who’d…

Mark shook the fractured memories from his head as Aino was chopped down by Thimothée “fresh smell of summer meadows” Cartier just outside his technical area. Mark unleashed a perfunctory tirade of invective at the fourth official – a slightly dazed Glaycian or Ma Raqui or something, whose presence here appeared to be based around completing some manner of quota – and wandered back to his seat. It would’ve been nice to have got one victory, he knew, but at least he – and they – were there.

Kxaŋ͡ǂi took the free-kick, which rolled pointlessly back to the feet of Nicolas Leduc, who began the Septentrionie bid for the third and decisive goal. He sprayed the ball wide to Serge Giguère, who nutmegged Mu’hurrrghougha – although, to be fair, this wasn’t automatically an indicator of great personal skill in and of itself – and crossed to François Lafontaine. Just as he had been weeks earlier at the SBCC final in El din, the veteran striker was on his hat-trick with mere minutes remaining, and rose to plant a firm header past Gnuraxai.

At the last moment, the ‘keeper dodged to his left and caught the ball perfectly in the vast fold of an ear, sending it comfortably out into the centre of the park with an energetic flap before dropping to the ground and writhing in agony at the sensory overload of it all (this had quickly become such an accepted part of the matchday experience for the Gordon Bay City national football team that Mark seldom even noticed it). Bm-Chm took control and attempted to pick out Aino, but the gnome’s pass went hopelessly awry and was easily cut out by Giguère for a throw-in. The captain stamped an impotent foot and growled to the gods for renewed succour.

“BM-CHM! Just hoof it lad, we haven’t got the time for anything pretty!”

Beside him, Aino groaned. “This is unacceptable! We are being beaten without a fight, Mark Baker!”

“It’s only two-one, lad… And I am trying, ALAN, SHIFT YERSELF, YEH BIG UGLY BASTARD, but we’re not going to beat them by playing it on the floor… Now CONCENTRATE!” Mark added, as Marc Bois slipped the ball past the faerie and got as far as the by-line before the sudden presence of a fully-grown camel – not an indigenous species to Septentrionia, it would appear – stopped him in his tracks.

“Your methods are backward,” the captain muttered turning on his heel and trotting infield.

“Oi! You want t’come and pontificate from the dugout, kid? Because I’m quite sure Ghislain’s itching to come on right now!” he added, pointing towards the hairy creature on the substiutes’ bench.

“Ghislain is always itching,” Aino commented, not unfairly. “We must pressure them, mentor! Not launch hopeful balls into the sky!”

“Where else are we going to launch them!? Our striker can fly…” Mark waved a hand vaguely behind him. “Right, that’s it… Ghis, strip off and get yourself ready, I’m chucking you o–”

“You would not truly consider substituting me!?”

“Aino, there’s no time for sentiment here! You’re the worst bloody player out there, you always are! If you actually want us to get a point here, you’re going t’have to… Oi!”

Receiving a pass from Kxaŋ͡ǂi – the creature had been aiming in the other direction entirely, and once again Mark was reminded of the folly of putting out a central midfield pair with two working eyes between them when even they were on the soles of one pair of feet – Aino burst forward, dribbling expertly past Bois and leaving Leduc in an embarrassed heap. The cross was on, Mark could see, but the faerie avoided the tempting target presented by One-Who-Giggles-At-Otters entirely, pushing on into the box instead, evading Paul Bourassa’s challenge and taking the ball around a hapless Martin Vachon for the equaliser.

Aino grabbed the ball out of the net and stormed back to the half-way line, as Mark readjusted his mouth. Behind him, a group of three-foot tall, pot-bellied Irishmen in rather fetching knitwear cuddled each other and bounced up and down while the roar of a single treeman and a thousand pixies threatened to burst his eardrums. A lengthy row of tiny pillywiggins, who taken up positions along the top of the plastic Gordon Bay City dugout, engaged in a furious Mexican wave. Four-fifths of the rest of the Sky Dome was cloaked in silence.

Mark pulled himself together. “Arright, come on! Hold it for two minutes, guys, we can get a point out of this if we… Cor.”

Aino had the ball at his feet once more, squeezing past Eugène Gagnon. Leduc tackled him on the edge of the area, but the faerie was distracted only momentarily, picking up the loose ball and firing smartly at Vachon’s water bottle.

At this point, Septentrionia gave up.

Aino wheeled back towards the technical area, granting Mark a beaming smile. The manager returned it weakly.

“Three-two…You… are superior, I suppose…”

“‘Pashun’, Mark Baker. The concept would appear to be a human one but, I feel, none the less valid…”

The final whistle brought further raucous celebrations from the travelling Gordon Bay City supporters as the team bounced their way off the pitch, milking the adulation for all it was worth. They’re basically human, Mark thought to himself cheerfully, When all’s said and done. Doesn’t matter about sizes and shapes, we’re all basically alike.”

“It iz not laik you to be zo zentimental, herr gaffer,” Friedelinde, the eternal blue-eyed bench-warmer said sweetly.

Mark nodded. “Aye… But I’ve won a game at the World Cup, haven’t I? I reckon I could be forgiven…” He signed an autograph for a passing trow, which backed away into the throng, satisfied with its afternoon’s haul. The local stewards had long since given up and gone home, and the travelling fans were clustering around their heroes, chattering enthusiastically and breaking into chants of a dozen or more different languages. Several of them were in runes.

Amidst the throng of gnomes and pixies and dwarves and trows and tomte and skosgra and salvani and hutchen and panotti and erdluitle and, of course, pillywiggins; it was easy to miss the dark young man weaving his way amongst them, stepping around a slightly dazed hobgoblin and placing himself in front of Aino. He offered the captain a glowing grin before plunging a rather sharp blade deep into the faerie’s chest.

And equally, what with the all the gnomes and pixies and dwarves and trows and, more importantly, blood; it was easy to miss the young man slipping back off into the stands, change once more into his preferred form of a diminutive canine, and jog off into the Kirkenes evening.


Wrenching her hand from the glutinous water and tossing aside a puzzled white-headed swamp-mouse clinging to her little finger, Leohi reached out. Squatting on its little perch comfortably above the bog, the svartálf looked down on her, grinning.

Grabbing its leg, the Queen hauled herself up onto the iron hillock and let out a screech of frustration. She was covered from neck to toe in sludge and algae – and that had an ae in it, which was never a positive sign – and stinking water, she’d lost her left shoe to a particularly insistent amphibian of uncertain origin, who presumably had a fetish for such things, and she was surrounded for what seemed like miles around by twisted, sinister vegetation.

It was hardly quiet, even in the early afternoon, with any number of unseen frogs croaking, mooing and barking amidst the dappled light of the wetland, and birds calling out overhead. But the only sign of intelligent life was the svart. It was poking its tongue out.

Leohi ran a hand over the carving, absently scraping away the muck of ages that had gathered in some of the lighter crevices and grooves. She didn’t care to hazard a guess at its age, but this was not a well looked-after sculpture – a fact which, she found, did not overly fill her with confidence.

She hadn’t been at all sure what to expect, of course, but all this certainly wouldn’t have topped the list. It boded very badly indeed. This was barely metres away from the Opening! They’d even stuck up an iron svart to mark the place! And now they’d just left it to the elements? As though no-one even cared any more?

With an unsteady hand placed upon the statue’s head, the Queen pulled herself to her feet and surveyed the world around her. Well, that was more promising…

It took Leohi nearly half an hour of wading through treacle, until her legs could barely take any more, for her to reach even the start of the higher ground she’d spotted, and another twenty minutes climbing up a the slippery slope until the trees gave way to clear skies. Field Hill, she realised suddenly as the topography slotted into place, but the view provided more pressing thoughts. Gordon Bay stretched out in front of her, a vast marsh heaving with waterbirds – she shuddered at the thought – which weaved their way over and between giant colonies of lush green marshes.

It made sense really, when one thought about it. Gordon Bay had been one of the few true inlets on the east coast of what They called Candelaria, and should blatantly have been the site of the island’s first great Candelariasian city, never mind port. Instead, They’d gone for Albrecht and Allemali and Caires, and that seemed perfectly reasonable now that you looked at what Gordon Bay had once been, or would be, or was now, or… Shifting out the fauna and flora in favour of human activities would, indeed, have been a right bugger. Frankly, she was surprised now that they’d bothered at all. Stupid, stupid creatures.

But, still… After all this time, after hundreds of years, she’d have thought the Kolani would have made better use of a special place like this, a holy place. Perhaps they’d simply discarded such concepts by now. Or perhaps… Yes. Why wouldn’t they have national parks, and nature reserves, and whatever else? Gordon Bay, or whatever they called it now, was a site of special historical and… biodiversical interest. Protected, preserved. Cherished. The great shining cities themselves would be… elsewhere, wouldn’t they?

Leohi clambered on upwards for a while longer, and then walked north along the flat until the sun began to sink in the sky, and she was once more granted a vista of the coast. The ridge of Blackwell Island was just visible, jutting out from the rolling sea, with distant Marquez a dark green haze to the north-east. The skies were still alive with seabirds, ducking and weaving in the bracing winds this high up on the Candelarian cliffs. Her shaky knowledge of the island’s geography suggested that the town of Bulent would be a few miles to the north, and then isolated villages would give way to suburban sprawl of Albrecht a little way beyond that, but…

Well, you wouldn’t expect the cities to all be in the same places, would you? It was a silly thought, she decided. Any intelligent being worth his or her salt would look at the same river or bay or cosseted clifftop or prime farming land, and see as perfect a location for a settlement as the next, but her people were better than the ‘Candelariasians’, when all was said and done. They’d make better choices when it came to building their cities! And, she added to herself, they wouldn’t need telegraph wires, or boats or aeroplanes, or cars, or pollution, or, or any sign that anything brighter than a treeshrew actually lived in this land. They’d be much too clever for all that nonsense by now, wouldn’t they?

Wouldn’t we?

And then she saw it, and let out a laugh. Of course it would be where Albrecht had been. A gleaming city, rising up far into the sky. A city fit for the fae of the future.

Leohi bunched up her sodden skirts, and began the long trek towards her new realm.
28-05-2009, 13:50
Meghan’s Space

We picked up our first point of the World Cup the other day against Bears Armed, thanks in large part to Kristen Stockton. It was a game that went back and forth with both nations looking they were going to break the scoreless tie at any moment, but in the end there would be nothing for the scoresheet. It is our second consecutive shutout over the Bears, which is pretty good considering they have some major advantages in height and physicality. They were a little more physical with us, but nothing that went overboard. They really make you look at bears differently, because I know when I was growing up they always seemed cute and cuddly in cartoons, but you never really wanted to be in a situation where you were face to face with one. It was really good that we had the friendly against them prior to this game, because we may have been more intimidated by this matchup then we ended up being. We only got the draw, which puts us in a must win situation against Bostopia. Just winning will not be enough, as it looks like we will need to beat them by two goals. Even then, the Bears could catapult over both us if they had a large victory over Sorthern Northland. If Sorthern Northland is scared of ducks and swans then I can only imagine the kind of fears that they may have of bears.

We would love to continue on, and we will do everything in our power to do so. There will be a lot of people wearing pink and black in support of us and we love you for that. Our home support is amazing time and time again, and when you come travel and support us even in a land as far away as Kelssek may be from Cassadaigua, it is something we notice and appreciate. A friend of mine asked “What is there to do in Kelssek, I clicked some link to a wiki and I got all these different pages, it looks like there is so much! What can’t I miss?” I really can’t help you with the inquiry as far as can’t miss places as we have remained in the cities in which our games have been played and have focused on training. This is a big deal to us and we want to advance as our visions are greater now. That said, at the moment, we are in Kirkenes, and if you are here you cannot miss the KN Tower even if you tried. Go take a close look at that. Other then that, it really depends on what your interests are. There’s a lot to do, and it’s a diverse community. There is only one thing we have in mind to do, and that is to beat Bostopia. We’re an underdog, but when has that ever stopped us?

If this ends up being it for us, I wish to thank you all for reading my blog during the World Cup, both qualifying and here. The support has been tremendous, I know I keep saying that but it couldn't be repeated enough. We plan on playing more games after this, but if this is goodbye, thank you, and I'll see you in World Cup 47, wherever it may be.
Bears Armed
28-05-2009, 14:57
"Hello, and welcome to Macquarie Docklands Stadium, at Latrobe in the nation of 'Kelssek'. this is 'Sports Report', and I am Harro Troutcatcher. In just over an eighth-watch the 'Bear-Belles' will be out on the pitch here, in a game against the Human nation of 'Sorthern Northlands' that they absolutely must win if they're going to stay in competition for the World Cup this time around, and I -- and my colleagues here, Jarra o GreyBear and Erron Smith -- will be commenting on that match for you.
The stadium is already filling up, not only with the two rival sides's own sets of travelling supporters -- whom the local management have seated as far from each other as possible, within fenced-off sections whose edges are patrolled by police officers, to keep them apart from each other -- but with many local Soccer fans too.
Now the Belles's new mascot, a Bear-tall 'DoomDuck' ( that was presented to them by the government of fellow Ursine nation 'The Bear Islands' only last week, is being led out and paraded around the edge of the pitch. Hr'rmm, what's this? Many of the Northlands' fans seem to be scared of this bird, whom I've just been informed the team have chosen to name 'Orville'!
I'll be with you again in a little while but, for now, back to the studio."
28-05-2009, 15:49
RP cutoff for Kelssek region teams.

Scores available. (
28-05-2009, 15:52
It's a good thing that the ad post this time just links to the MD3 scores for groups A-D. (

Fixtures for the second round in Ad'ihan will be in that post as well.
28-05-2009, 16:29


Oldbridge, Ad’ihan- World Cup 46 will forever be remembered as our breakthrough, and now the Rockets will hope to build on this in the future. Newmanistan was not successful tonight, falling to Daehanjeiguk by the score of 2-0. Simply put, the Han did what they needed to do. The Rockets played a strong game, and held Daehanjeiguk scoreless through the first half, but goals in the 53rd and 58th minute sealed our doom. Let us not fret over this result and welcome back our heroes to Pocono City with a strong round of applause. We finally qualified for this great event, and showed that we belong with this company. A little more will be needed before we are scaring the Valanora’s and Starblaydia’s of the world, but at least we now know we are on the right track. Congratulations to all of our players on their effort and best wishes to all sixteen teams that have advanced. We know these final games will still be very entertaining.

Click here for more detailed game analysis.
29-05-2009, 01:41
(the trial continues, with Judge Alrade very tired, Lord Naplas excited, the lawyer Travassos extremely disappointed and the lawyer Ferraz hopeful)

JUDGE ALRADE - "I am glad we are finally reaching the last stages of this trial. Well, the other three defendants have seemed to condemn themselves, there are only two left, who are being defended by another lawyer. So, it's time for you to talk."

LORD NAPLAS - "Like if it could help them."

FERRAZ - "Well, Lord Naplas, you have talked a lot about the crimes the other three defendants have committed, but you said little about what Jonas Bigodinho and Marcos Jardins have done."

LORD NAPLAS - "I can do it now."

FERRAZ - "Okay, then, let's do this way. I'll let you question them first."

LORD NAPLAS - "Afraid that I will destroy every theory you create to cover their actions?"

FERRAZ - "No. Are you?"

LORD NAPLAS - "Of course not! Truth is on my side! I'll show to everyone in this court that these two men are as guilty as the others! Judge, can the prosecution question them first?"

JUDGE ALRADE - "If there is a consensus, there is no problem for me."

JARDINS - "Are you sure this is a good strategy, Rita?"

FERRAZ - "Of course. You haven't done anything illegal, he won't have enough evidence against you, he'll try to use dubious information or even forged documents, and Mr. X can easily spot a forged evidence."

BIGODINHO - "Yes, but Naplas will try to destroy our reputation using words..."

FERRAZ - "Relax. We'll have the last word, and with it we'll prove your innocence."

BIGODINHO - "I hope so. I haven't earned a single vintém with these deals, and I have just discovered that everyone thinks I wrote messages personally to the associations, something I didn't! I just worked as a messenger!"

JARDINS - "And they think I actually profit with the illegal deals, being the agent of most players involved. But I didn't even know the deals were announced with the wrong value!"

FERRAZ - "All this info will come up now."

JUDGE ALRADE - "I ask the two defendants, Jonas Bigodinho and Marcos Jardins, to come to these places, to sit on these comfortable chairs here, and to answer to the questions with the simple truth."


JARDINS - "I was already doing that."

JUDGE ALRADE - "Prosecutor, you can now start with your questions."

LORD NAPLAS - "Well, I'll address Jonas Bigodinho first, Urubupungá's henchman who did most of the dirty job for his boss..."

BIGODINHO - "Oh, now you are willing to potrait me as an evil "monster"... why don't you make a creative comment about my big moustache and my weight which is... a little over the ideal."

LORD NAPLAS - "Jonas Bigodinho is the current scout of the CCFM, and also works as a spy for the National Team. The position of spy of the National Team wasn't of The Scout, so why had Jonas Bigodinho taken it?"

BIGODINHO - "Maybe because The Scout never wanted this position and, when I assumed his place, the former spy died of old age? The two functions work perfectly together!"

LORD NAPLAS - "Well, but I think it was more of a gift for your services during the last transfer window. During it, you collected the information given to you by The Scout, the list of players, and received the instructions from Urubupungá, instructions to send to the involved associations notes commenting about the intentions of your boss to claim the values involved in the negotiations as being higher than what was actually paid for the players. So, you wrote the messages and contacted the associations, helping the CCFM to conclude these negotiations, illegal negotiations, in which the precious public money, given to the Empire by the Cafundelense population, was stolen by the CCFM leaders!"

BIGODINHO - "So far you haven't asked a single question to me! I didn't do what you say I did! I worked only as a messenger, I didn't have full knowledge about these negotiations, I didn't take part on it!"

JUDGE ALRADE - "The defendant is right, prosecutor. Please ask him questions instead of performing a speech."

LORD NAPLAS - "All right, all right. So, Jonas Bigodinho, do you confirm that you had been working as the scout of the CCFM during the last transfer window, and during this period participated in the negotiations that happened?"

BIGODINHO - "I confirm, although my participation didn't happen the way you say it did."

LORD NAPLAS - "So you agree that you have accepted to take a position from which The Scout had been fired under suspicious circumstances?"

BIGODINHO - "Well, this happened, but at that time everyone considered The Scout's exit of the CCFM as just a result of a usual conflict between employer and employee... and, after all, this is a much sought position, very prestigious."

LORD NAPLAS - "And you had contact with The Scout's list made for that transfer window? And sent it to Carlos Alberto Urubupungá?"

BIGODINHO - "Yes, that's right."

LORD NAPLAS - "So he talked to you about the negotiations..."


LORD NAPLAS - "And explained to you that this time he was going to make things in a different way... I mean, he told you about his plan to take some money from the CCFM budget to himself..."

BIGODINHO - "Not this! He only asked me that he was going to analyze the possibility of signing with each player, contacting the other directors of the CCFM and only after that he would take another step towards the negotiation."

LORD NAPLAS - "And, in this next step, he asked you to write the telegrams to associations all around the world..."

BIGODINHO - "No, he handed me closed telegrams for me to deliver to the associations, I didn't write anything!"

LORD NAPLAS - "I predicted that you would deny... but don't get too excited, the truth will appear. We have, as evidence, some original versions of the telegrams, and some copies... I'm sure the handwriting and phrasing style is yours..."

MR. X - "I can check this right now... which is the number of the evidence?"

LORD NAPLAS - "No, please, don't do it now! Wait until his lawyer ends her questions. This evidence is to destroy all their theories!"

JUDGE ALRADE - "Okay, I like the way it sounds. Please wait, Mr. X."

MR. X - "That's fine for me. I do what is asked to me."

LORD NAPLAS - "I won't keep asking questions to Jonas Bigodinho only to hear more lies, so I'll now talk with the player agent, Marcos Jardins. How can a player agent not know when the deal involving his player is illegal or not?"

JUDGE ALRADE - "Questions, please."

LORD NAPLAS - "Sure, I was going to reach this point. As an agent, your players are constantly involved in the CCFM negotiations, aren't they?"

JARDINS - "That's right."

LORD NAPLAS - "And it is true that it is the CCFM the one that provides the most interesting and valuable deals?"

JARDINS - "Yes, they tend to offer a lot of money, sometimes an unthinkable amount."

LORD NAPLAS - "And do you get a part of this amount?"

JARDINS - "Depends if I have a share of the player rights."

LORD NAPLAS - "During the last transfer window, in which the CCFM managed to conclude the deals we are discussing today, have your players been involved?"

JARDINS - "Some, yes."

LORD NAPLAS - "So you followed their negotiations?"

JARDINS - "No! I only was informed of the development of the negotiations, but didn't take part. I only heard if the team was willing to negotiate, or a certain value was agreed, and they told me the same value that was released as official one, didn't know that was incorrect."

LORD NAPLAS - "How didn't you know the real value of the transfers if you received a share of them?"

JARDINS - "When the CCFM owed me a share of the deal, it paid me the amount that had to be paid according to the announced value of the bid..."

LORD NAPLAS - "So you received more than you actually should."

JARDINS - "If you put this way, yes, but I didn't know that was happening!"

LORD NAPLAS - "Ah, so you didn't know... what about the Serrano deal? As far as I know, you are Serrano's agent, aren't you?"

JARDINS - "Yes, I am Serrano's agent."

LORD NAPLAS - "The deal the CCFM made with Galáxia to ensure that Serrano wouldn't leave Cafundéu was one of the most manipulated of the illegal ones! And you had a good share of his rights..."

JARDINS - "The same thing happened in this deal... the CCFM negotiated alone with Galáxia, I only was informed of the final value and received my money according to the claimed price... how could I know that the price wasn't the correct one? I was deceived like all of you!"

LORD NAPLAS - "Deceived... but this was profitable for you."


LORD NAPLAS - "We have the bank data of the deposit the CCFM made to your account regarding Serrano's transfer..."

JARDINS - "This will only prove what I have been saying."

LORD NAPLAS - "Okay. We'll wait for this then. No more questions."

JUDGE ALRADE - "So if Lord Naplas finished his part, the defendants' lawyer can speak now. Please, Ms. Ferraz."

FERRAZ - "Thanks, Your Honor. As I was expecting, the Empire Prosecutor said a lot, but didn't prove anything. Anyone can invent stories, difficult is to show the truth."

LORD NAPLAS - "And will you show it, then?"

FERRAZ - "Mr. Bigodinho and Mr. Jardins will now have the chance to honestly speak about this issue, without interruptions or accusations. I am sure you'll notice that the truth will appear now."

JUDGE ALRADE - "So please start now, I'm falling asleep."

FERRAZ - "I'll speak first with Mr. Bigodinho. It is impossible to address both defendants at the same time because, although they are being accused of the same thing, their so-called involvement is very different from one to another."

JARDINS - "An involvement that didn't exist."

FERRAZ - "Yes. But now to Bigodinho. As Lord Naplas said, you assumed the position of scout of the CCFM just after The Scout was fired. But tell me, did you know of the reasons behind the CCFM decision? Was it at least suspicious, a hint that something wrong was going on?"

BIGODINHO - "I didn't know the reasons... these things happen, usually because the scout disagrees with the opinion of the boss, it's very common. So, it wasn't suspicious. I thought everything was perfectly normal."

FERRAZ - "And, when you started working, everything seemed normal..."

BIGODINHO - "Well, yes. Usual duties of a scout. Prepare a list of players, discuss with the boss..."

FERRAZ - "And then Urubupungá asked you to deliver the telegrams, closed telegrams."

BIGODINHO - "Yes, they were closed. He said the telegrams were the offers, but didn't tell me anything else about it. In the end, I acted as being just a messenger."

LORD NAPLAS - "How could? These messages were written under your name, your signature!"

BIGODINHO - "I didn't write them! I know what I do and what I don't do! I just delivered the messages, didn't write a single one!"

FERRAZ - "So just to clarify one thing that most people here are probably asking... why did you then claimed that you have made a mistake, that you have participated in these illegal deals?"

BIGODINHO - "At that time, I didn't know they thought I had actually written those messages! I was considering just my action of delivering the offers to the other countries' associations! This was my participation, I don't deny it! But nothing else. That's why I say I participated on these illegal deals, but without knowing about it, and without earning anything."

FERRAZ - "So, in the end, you were just used by Urubupungá, so he would have someone to accuse if things went wrong."

BIGODINHO - "Well, now I see things this way."

FERRAZ - "Thanks, Jonas. Now about Mr. Jardins."

JARDINS - "Finally... I really want to clarify this situation."

FERRAZ - "Lord Naplas helped us somewhat, as he asked most of the questions I was going to ask, although in a more aggressive way. As a player agent, you participate in the negotiations between club and player, doesn't you?"

JARDINS - "Yes, club and player. In these I have full participation."

FERRAZ - "But these ones have nothing to do with the transfer fee."

JARDINS - "Nothing."

FERRAZ - "And you don't have a word in the negotiation between club and club. In this case, the CCFM."

JARDINS - "No. I only receive my share at the end of the negotiation, but most of the times they don't reveal me the details of the negotiation... I don't have the right for this, I have the right only to know the final result. The only way for me to interrupt a deal is convincing my player to refuse the offer."

FERRAZ - "I see. So, as everyone else, you thought the deals happened by the claimed value, and received your share as if this really happened?"

JARDINS - "Simply this way."

FERRAZ - "Thanks."

LORD NAPLAS - "So now, Judge, let's please check the evidence thirty-one, the pack of telegrams which Bigodinho sent to the associations. I want to see his face after we prove he wrote them."

JUDGE ALRADE - "Sure. Mr. X?"

MR. X - "Well, evidence thirty-one... lots of telegrams... you want me to check the handwriting, signature and phrasing style... well, I need some minutes for this, okay?"

JUDGE ALRADE - "Okay, so let's stop for one hour."


ALICE I - "Have you heard, father? Urubupungá escaped again!"

PRINCE HECTOR - "Yes, I heard. He left Allemenschen."

ALICE I - "Worse than that, he has gone to Valanora! And you know that we stopped diplomatic activities with them!"

PRINCE HECTOR - "He was smart then. He knew that going to Valanora would make it very difficult for us to get him."

ALICE I - "But I must not give up! We know that he is in Valanora, we simply have to find a way to locate him and bring him back to Cafundéu, so he can be punished by his crimes!"

PRINCE HECTOR - "How? Will you send a team of agents like you did in Allemenschen? It is a completely different situation, the agents would be easily spotted, walking in a country full of elves."

ALICE I - "I know, but I can't just wait for him to return voluntarily to Cafundéu..."

PRINCE HECTOR - "If you hadn't been so radical with Valanora, things would be easier now."

ALICE I - "So you wanted me to accept their decision to consider us a bad nation and work towards regaining their trust?"

PRINCE HECTOR - "Never! You did right in replying, but the way you did was too intense, we could have been more subtle, slowly showing them our disappointment..."

ALICE I - "What they did was an outrage! Sorry, but I can't just control my emotions... right now, it is all returning... the anger, the thoughts... I HATE THEM! AND I WANT URUBUPUNGÁ HANGED IN FRONT OF ME NOW!"

PRINCE HECTOR - "You seem a bit unstable lately... you should consider taking a rest."

ALICE I - "Rest? Me? I am the Empress of the country, the population needs me!"

QUEEN MOTHER ANNE - "Oh, Alice, you're here. I heard Urubupungá has fled again... this time from Allemenschen... is everything all right?"

ALICE I - "No, Mom, everything is turning difficult... we need to arrest Carlos Alberto Urubupungá, but right now he is in a country which we had some conflicts lately, so our relations aren't good at the moment. So, we wouldn't be allowed to send agents to there, or to investigate."

QUEEN MOTHER ANNE - "So he is now in Valanora. Smart guy."

ALICE I - "Maybe this wasn't his idea. You know, since I discovered he went to Valanora, I have been thinking that the leaders there were the ones who invited Urubupungá to go to their country, so they could affect Cafundéu in a certain way. After all, when the plane fell in Allemenschen, it was going to Sorthern Northland... why he suddenly changed his destination? I bet the Vanorians have something to do with it, they are just looking for ways to affect our Empire and criticize us!"

QUEEN MOTHER ANNE - "If this is happening, then things are even more difficult. They wouldn't help you in sending Urubupungá back to Cafundéu."

PRINCE HECTOR - "Even more, they would hide Urubupungá."

ALICE I - "This will be difficult. The plane he used... another one, I wonder where he can get so many planes... landed in an island there."

QUEEN MOTHER ANNE - "Maybe Vynita?"

ALICE I - "No idea, I don't know anything about Valanora's geography."

PRINCE HECTOR - "Vynita, yes."

ALICE I - "So, what can I do?"

PRINCE HECTOR - "You know you can't wait for them to do something for you. You'll have to act."

ALICE I - "Maybe I should send some agents... undercover agents... so they can enter in Valanora without permission to go after Urubupungá."

PRINCE HECTOR - "I doubt it would work... a few agents to search in such a big place? It may be not easy to say this, but you will only have Urubupungá back in Cafundéu with the help of the Vanorian government."

ALICE I - "But they are involved!"

QUEEN MOTHER ANNE - "You should try to contact them, to see if they are really involved... maybe they'll value justice higher than anything, they won't allow a criminal to escape even if this means helping us..."

ALICE I - "I will then. Father, as you are more experienced in this than me, can you please send a message to the Vanorian government asking for help... tell them that a criminal is inside the country, and that only with their help we'll be able to find him and arrest him. Ask permissions to send agents to investigate there, and also assistance in this investigations."

PRINCE HECTOR - "I'm writing this right now. This will be sent in minutes."

ALICE I - "Wait... what are Rogério and Miguel doing?"

QUEEN MOTHER ANNE - "Playing chess."

ALICE I - "Why?"

PRINCE HECTOR - "It is a long story..."

PRINCE MIGUEL - "Yes, that's it, the king is down! You lost, Rogério!"

PRINCE ROGÉRIO - "Oh, no, I was doing so well..."
29-05-2009, 06:38
Fromburg Free Press

World Cup 46 Coverage

Trailing 3-1 late, Qazox rallied to tie Valanora 3-3 on a pair of goals from Bobby Cacho, but minutes after the scoreboard showed a 1-0 Kosovoe win over Vephrall, Valanora's Ainion Zadora scored to send Qazox home on the backend of a 4-3 defeat at the feet of the #1 team in the world.

So yet another trip to the World Cup ends in failure for Qazox. Maybe anothe name change? or a change back to the old uniforms, meaning no uniforms? Who knows what the next 80 years will bring, but here's the best of the last 80 years:

THE Fromburg Free Press PRESENTS
The Biggest Moment/Event
in Black Oxen/Pheonix Footballing History
Date: October 5th, 1897
Location: Starblaydia
Event/Moment: Qazox shuts-out World #1 Starblaydia, on the road.
Other Nation involved: Starblaydia
Result: 2-0 win.

Reprint of event from National Archives:



Earlier in qualification, Qazox hosted the #1 team in the world, Starblaydia and with the help of head Coach, Reggie Hassok, upset the best team 2-1 on 2 last minute goals. Today the rematch in Starblaydia, and somehow, someway, Qazox did it again, this time shuting out Mighty Starblaydia 2-0, sending a stong message to the rest of the world that this time Qazox will not fail in their attempt to qualify for the World Cup.

The match began with both sides holding a moment of silence for Trent Rauda, who was laid to rest earlier in the day. Starblaydia took the opening possession and for the next 25 minutes controlled the match. Reggie Hassok, who stated earlier in qualification, that he would insert himself into the line-up for this game, seemed ageless as his 38-yr old instincts were proven correct shot after shot. After the opening barrage, Reggie had 9 saves and Starblaydia seemed frustrated that they couldn't put a single ball into the net.

Qazox' offense finally began to recover from the early onslaught and in the 39th minute, the hero from the 1st match between these two teams, Rene LaTreque lifted a cross from Nelson Macgillivray, giving the Black Oxen a 1-0 lead. Neither side could maintain pressure over the final minutes of the half and Qazox went into the locker room up 1-0.

The second half seemed like Deja-Vu all over again as Starblaydia came out attacking at every oppertunity, looking for an equalizer. But somehow Reggie Hassok continued to stop any and all shots taken at him. With 15 minutes left, the Staryblaydian attack finally began to falter, and the Black Oxen took quick advantage, as Aki Fa'Mau-Tana took an errant pass from Rajko Dakic, and launched a blistering shot at Paola Mendez who deflected the ball, but not enough as it clanged off the far post and into the back of the net, giving Qazox a 2-0 lead in the 75th minute. That last goal sapped Starblaydia, who could only muster one last chance for a goal, but Lawrence Asante's shot sailed just right of the near post in injury time, and Qazox walked out of Starbalydia with a victory that will be talked about for ages.

With the final away game done and finishing with a very impressive 6-2-1 road record, Qazox finally returns home for the final 4 games of qualification. the 1st of these four games is agaisnt ASMV, whom Qazox beat 5-1 in ASMV. The Sea Dragons have underperformed in this Cup, but still are one of the better teams out there. A close match, but the streaking Black Oxen will win 3-2. Qazox only needs 6 points over the final 4 games to clinch a spot in the World Cup, but the team has been in this position before, hopefully history will not repeat itself this time.

THE Fromburg Free Press PRESENTS
The Best Player
in Black Oxen/Pheonix Footballing History

Player: Reggie Hassok
Played in: World Cups 29-30
Head Coach: World Cups 31-32
Caps: 28
Record of 12-5-11, 1.64 GAA in 28 games.
Best Moment: Coached and played in Qazox' 2-0 win in Starblaydia, his final game as player. (see above for more details)

Reggie "The Rock" Hassok (1862- 1914), died mysteriously after the quarterfinals of the Cup of Harmony 24. Rumors were that Hassok was assassinated by members of the Demotian military, but recently revealed evidence has poniuted to members of a Qazian secret society assassinated him over Hassok's accidental discovery of the society's rituals. The full truth about Mr. Hassok's death may never be fully known.


Qazox shuts-out World #1 Starblaydia. (2-0 win at Starblaydia during WC31 qualifers)
Qazox qualifies for the World Cup for the First time. (1-0 win over Nikea during WC31 qualifers)
THE MELTDOWN. (2-5 loss against Geisenfried, in which Geisenfried scores 3 goals in one minute at World Cup 33)
Qazox' First World Cup Win. (3-2 win against Wentland on MD1 of World Cup 33)
THE BOSTOPIAN SCREW-JOB. (1-3 loss at home on final day of World Cup 29 qualifying)
Qazox' first World Cup Game. (2-2 draw w/ New Montreal States during World Cup 31)
Qazox' largest victory. (10-1 win vs. Assegai Developments during World Cup 31 qualifiers)
Qazox' Round of 16 win over Cafundéu. (2-1 win during World Cup 41)
Qazox' first ever international game and win. (1-0 win against Atheistic Right @ Baptism of Fire 14)
Qazox' first ever World Cup Qualification win. (2-0 win vs. Dorian and Sonya)


Reggie Hassok: World Cups 29-30 and #1 moment; Head Coach World Cups 31-32.
Kallie Jaus: World Cups 39-42
Jonathon Sarafin: World Cups 33-34.
Marie Goya: World Cups 27-30.
Sherlene Scheppe: World Cups 39-40.
Yancy Fry: World Cups 35-38.
Fernando Turek: World Cups 31-32; Head Coach World Cups 33-36 and WC44 qualifiers.
Anderson Tarricone: World Cups 39-42.
Anthony Mason: World Cups 27-30.
Alicia “Speedy” Gonzalez: World Cups 27-30.
29-05-2009, 20:55
World Cup 46 Qualification - Group 12 (Q) 1st
PRQ: vs 1-0 [99] Norwellia (@ Sanhaemun Football Stadium, Cheonjin - 60,000)
MD1: vs 4-1 [24] Jeru FC (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira - 55,000)
MD2: @ 1-0 [84] Kagdazka (@ kak po russky...?)
MD3: vs 5-1 [110] The Bear Islands (@ Potala, Lasa - 34,000)
MD4: @ 4-1 [132] Threetime (@ Triple Trisomy?)
MD5: vs 1-0 [57] Quintessence of Dust (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong - 150,000)
MQ: @ [33] 2-3 Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colesseum - a lot of small people)
MD6: @ 3-3 [24] Jeru FC (@ barbarians' hut)
MD7: vs 7-0 [84] Kagdazka (@ Silk Road Stadium, Seoan - 56,000)
MD8: @ 0-0 [110] The Bear Islands (@ GAH! BARS! ... oh, that's bears, nvm...)
MD9: vs 3-1 [132] Threetime (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong - 65,000)
MD10: @ 1-2 [57] Quintessence of Dust (@ Arena of Dreams, Nowy Orpington - at least there isn't any trash here)
PTQ: vs 1-1 Sarzonia (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium, Hangyeong - 200,000)
World Cup 46 - Group A
MD1: vs 4-2 [20] Jeru FC (@ Stade des Îles, Ad’ihan - 92,000)
MD2: vs 3-4 [14] Ad'ihan (@ Bridge Road, Oldbridge - 64,000)
MD3: vs 2-0 [33] Newmanistan (@ Bridge Road, Oldbridge - 64,000)
R16: vs [15] The Archregimancy (@ Bridge Road, Oldbridge - 64,000)
QTF: vs [1] Valanora (@ Tallyn Ground, Dalinn - 61,000)

*** Imperial Palace, Hangyeong ***

"What do you mean we might have problems?" the Emperor said. This was some time after Valanora announced the introduction of a blacklist, including the Han Empire upon it.

"Well... I'm not sure what it will mean for us."

"Why'd they bother putting us on a blacklist? We could do the same on account that they're elves!"

"I don't think genetic differences are the reason for their actions."

"What then?" the Emperor said, almost roaring.

"We think it might have something to do with the fact that we're so far away."


"Geographically, it's convenient for them to exclude us from their local affairs. We're too far away to meddle with their culture, which they claim is under attack by some frivolous foreigner, introducing foreign gods, foreign crimes, even foreign currency. I think they just don't like what we do."

"Why'd put a blacklist on Cafundéu then?"

"Because they're greedy. They make people pay taxes for everything."

"That's their right," the Emperor said. "Well... if those Vanorians want to blacklist us, then we cannot recognize them as a foreign state. If they're unwilling to guarantee extraterritorial rights for our visiting citizens, we cannot guarantee the same for theirs. Tit for tat, right?"

"Well, there's nothing to prevent us from doing that, but your father would have elected to rehabilitate them."

"Rehabilitate them?" the Emperor replied. "As in they're delinquent?"

"Maybe. Maybe this jaded concept of cultural superiority has gotten to their heads, because they think that they're better than us. So they can elect to exclude us from their cultural melange. I think we ought to do one better than that by hosting some conference on Elven culture, so that we can become the center of Elven culture!"

Nearly everyone in the room winced at that thought. The minister making the suggestion smiled and hesitated at a response. "Well, it makes sense. If they don't want us to be with them, we'll show them that they aren't needed in our world. We have our own elves."

"But we don't like elves," the Emperor said. "At least I don't. Why would I want to have a country of elves?"

"Not a country. An enclave. A little tribe of elves for their own. We could give them land."

That idea went through the roof. "We are not going to be Candelariasians!"


"Why not just ignore them?" Marquis Pak Yu said. As the "guru" of foreign affairs, his opinions seemed to be the best one for the moment. "After all, they don't know that we do or don't know that they have excluded us. If we act as if there's nothing wrong with anything, they might give up."

"That's a really bad idea," the Emperor said. "I insist just refusing to recognize them until they recognize us."

"They still recognize us," Pak Yu said. "They just won't have our citizens travel to their country."

"Well, that's a bit odd for recognition. If you recognize someone, you don't play hostile with them."

"Pyei-ha," Marquis Pak said, "International Incidents aren't always so easy to play around with."

"Well, this isn't International Incidents!" the Emperor replied. "This is some damned elf telling me that my citizens can't go places."

"Why not start a blockade?" one of the defense ministers said.

"I think provocation is hardly their intention," another minister said. "If they're trying that, they've failed miserably."

"I actually think creating our own enclave of elves would be a great idea! There's enough land for us to share..."

"We are not going to give any of our land to those damned elves!" the Emperor said.

At that the Cabinet fell quiet. It wasn't the quiet of fear or submission, but a pondering silence. Ideas were flowing through the air, and suddenly the idea came out.

"Let's give someone else's country up to the elves and recognize them!"

The Emperor shook his head. "That's a worse idea!"

"How about we create the Anti-Elven Alliance? That way, we can combat the spread of the damned elves?"

"Um... that is an even worse idea. That will certainly earn provocation from the Vanorians, and besides that, alliances are for babies who want someone else to fight their wars. We are not babies. And we don't want someone else to fight our wars."

"How about just ignore them?"

The ministers all glanced at Pak Yu again.

The Emperor shook his head. "Well........" he paused. "I suppose we could try that, but I don't want to send my citizens to places where their safety is not guaranteed."

"We do that in wartime," Pak Yu said. "Besides, all it would take is just to suggest that there's something wrong in Valaonora. In fact, we could quarantine individuals coming from Valanora, on fears that they might be spreading some horrible disease. That way, our citizens don't go there, and their people won't come here."

"But I don't think Vanorians get sick."

"We could always make up a disease. Infects Vanorians, but they're just carriers. When they transmit to Han people, though, we get sick. Call it Varharanosis. It's lethal and we might all die if we get too close to a Vanorian."

The Emperor nodded, seeming to like the idea. "There's just one problem with that idea..."

*** Somewhere - I don't know, use your imagination! ***

Kim opened the refrigerator.

"I CAN SEE YOU!" It was the clown! How the %$#^ did that beastly creature get inside his house? Better yet, how'd that thing get in his refrigerator? No time to ask questions, Kim had to get out. The creature was busily reaching for him, but he ran to the door. You know how most zombies walk when chasing their victims? Well... this zombie managed to ran, but his motor-skills coordination were hardly on par with Kim's and stumbled over the carpet-to-wood floor transition. If Kim were in the mood for laughing, he'd have noted the way the thing crashed on his couch. Instead, he was busily removing the blocks that he had just put on his door. His life was in danger, and he was on the wrong side of the door.

He tried to clear out as much of the material as he could, but the zombie clown was too fast. It quickly rose to its feet and ran at Kim. Kim did what he could to dodge, letting the zombie clown crash into the blocks of furniture. Kim decided that there was no way out the door, with this pest. He decided to check the kitchen. Surely, the zombie clown managed to get into his refrigerator somehow. He looked inside and saw a wall of ice. Funny... he didn't remember having a refrigerator full of ice. Moreover, you can't walk through ice. The zombie was right behind him. He dodged again as the clown rammed its face into the ice, cracking it and furthermore proving that you can't go through ice. How'd the clown get into the room then? No time to think! Kim tried to find another way out. He went into the living room, spying his place for an escape. Escape! The fire escape! Of course! That was in the kitchen... Sometimes the most obvious things are hidden, and now it was blocked by this raging clown with too many blood spots on his face. The clown smiled viciously as it lunged once more. Kim jumped aside, as the clown continued to run, through the window and out the balcony. He carefully glanced out the window, just to be sure. The clown was dead, with blood filling the road. He glanced at the kitchen. Maybe there were more? Even so, he had no way to defend himself in his room. And he'd run out of food, with a frozen refrigerator. He needed to find another place to live.

Ummm.... Not Enough Goals?

OLDBRIDGE - In the spirit of continuing our pressing criticism of Ioshido Toki as he continues his trek through his last World Cup on tenure as the Head Coach, we are going to highlight a few things that weren't quite good enough for us. (1) Not enough goals. Hard to argue for that one, especially when both our strikers and their goalkeeper were generally in top shape. But if Ioshido was in the mood to win the game, he would have impressed upon his players of the importance to score goals. Who cares if you're shooting on target for 100%? Who cares if you made 9 attempts on goal? Who cares if you made two second half goals? You still need more. (2) The opponents were not demoralized. Yeah, it's their first time in the World Cup. They should have been weeping when they stepped off that pitch because they were humiliated. 2-0 is hardly the sort of scoreline that humiliates people. (3) Ad'ihan didn't lose. So what if Ioshido has no control over that? Jeru FC should have slaughtered Ad'ihan after coming out from an exhausting 4-3 encounter. Spies should have told their also-in-his-last-season manager to field a CCC-team instead of what was probably their B-team.

But to talk of the things that did happen, for our impartial viewers, the game wasn't half bad. Sure the Han were going into the interval with a goalless score, but they were pretty much dominating the game. Possession at 63%, shots on goal at 6, corner kicks at 4, and passing was a good solid 95%. Hard to beat teams that are almost impeccable, but then again, Newmanistan was relying heavily upon their goalkeeper to keep them in the game. It was a tough battle in midfield, especially as Ioshido was playing a more aggressive style of "TAKE THAT BALL DAMMIT" as opposed to playing in zones. Yi Yeongpyo was actually pretty stellar in his play, and although he didn't get a goal, his damage upon the right flank was causing all sorts of problems for Newmanistan. His one shot on goal was neatly touched over the bar. But the flood gates were holding back a pretty mighty deluge, and when the floodgates failed, they did fail pretty mildly. Jeong Jihun managed to pull off the goal of the Cup (for the Han, at least), taking a soft pass from Go Jeongun. He dribbled up and through a stockade of some 3 Newmanistanian players from 30 meters out, he lifted the ball through their midst. The goalkeeper was hard pressed and managed to get a glove on the ball, but all that did was tip the ball onto the post and into the net. It hit the top corner perfectly - makes you wonder why Jeong doesn't shoot any more of those goals... Anyway, that was the first goal, and it happened to be the one that cleared the way for the second one just 5 minutes later. It was in fact the result of Newmanistan's best chance to score in the match. With Kim Yongji out on suspension, Hui Yongjun was making his first World Cup start in center, and he did a marvelous job, holding stake to the position as the next center defender perhaps. Kim Jinsaek, back from his suspension, helped along the right, and it would prove to be the one point that helped the Han along the whole match, as the only serious threat to the Han was from the right side, their strikers preferring an attack down the left. Seeing a time to change the tactics, their strikers made a lunge down the right side. They managed to penetrate deep and made the cross out to Vilardi. Kim Jinsaek failed to keep her contained, but her strike on goal ran straight to Hui Yongjun, who headbutted that ball out towards the midfield. Baek Jihun took the ball and dribbled up the pitch, flanked by Go Jeongun and Yi Yeongpyo. After crossing midfield, Baek passed out wide to Yi Yeongpyo, who deftly made a wide arching cross the curled up and back to Baek Jihun, now 6 paces in front of the keeper. In the best of times, the goalkeepers will get the ball 50% of the time, and playing out like statistics, Baek chose right, the keeper chose left. 2-0 at 58 minutes.

And that was the game. Sure, there were more opportunities, snuffed out by the Han and the Newmanistanians alike, but the Han still controlled the match, more so after stealing the precious two goal lead. But to hold up with our somehow usual tradition of the strangely anomalous incidents, after the referee blew the whistle, a severe wind blew through the stadium and managed to rip off the shirts of most of the spectators. Of course, for most spectators, their shirts were already off, so the actual damages incurred were probably less than feared - but then again, it's reason for Ad'ihani officials to fear just exactly what will happen next when the Han go on to play the Archregimancy in Oldbridge again for thei R16 tie. If we manage to get through this one (and considering our history against Dreamy people, it's pretty foregone conclusion that they'll win on PKs 8-7), we'll have a wonderful set-up fixture against Valanora, because we don't believe that Prux will beat the damned elves. So... lose by PKs against monks or lose by PKs against elves... either way, Ioshido's done a %$#^ job at getting us an easy line-up.

Speaking of easy-line up, it's time for our review of the 16 teams that made the Second Round. Obviously, Ad'ihan made out of Group A, with just a draw to Jeru FC to keep them on top. They'll be meeting the Holy Empire, who lost their only match to the Archregimancy, while dealing a 1-0 win to Taeshan. The Archregimancy, for their part, dealt a 2-0 win to Bazalonia, whose point against Taeshan was their only. In Group B, Kura-Pelland failed to earn any advantage over Prux, who go out in second place on GD. In the other fixture, Peisandros surprised the world as they held Starblaydia to a 1-0 margin. Oh, they lost that one, but still, considering a 13-2 margin was expected with their drunken, non-functioning goalkeeper having taken a sacking from letting in 13 goals in their last two matches, the fact that they only changed the goalkeeper is quite an astounding reflection. Unfortunately, the World Cup doesn't operate by how much you lose a match if you can't win any of them. Starblaydia go out into the Second Round having scored just 5 goals in 3 matches (of course, there are those teams that have scored just 3 goals and qualified...). They will face Kosovoe who were thankful that they beat Vephrall and saw Qazox lose to Valanora. Valanora, for their part managed a thrilling 4-3 encounter with Qazox, and will face against Prux. In Kelssek, the hosts won their group with 0-0 draw against Septentrionia, while Jaseuyeon helped prevented debutants Gordon Bay City from entering the second round. Kelssek will get a wonderful greeting from Dancougar, who also finished their last match 0-0 to Rennidan. Septentrionia, on the other hand, will have been hoping to have at least surrendered more goals and points when they face against Candelaria And Marquez, where they're almost certain to do such. On the other hand, at least they've finally reached the Second Round. As for Group F, Cafundéu finished their group stage with a 2-1 win against the Macabees, having swept through the group (minus that 1-1 draw to Lovisa on the first day). Capitalizt SLANI managed to stay in the World Cup with a 2-1 win over Lovisa. They'll face off against Sorthern Northland, who ended Group G with an emphatic 4-0 win over Bears Armed, which lifted over Bostopia's 1-0 win over Cassadaigua. Needless to say, Bostopia will be apprehensive about facing Cafundéu again, especially with those unresolved tax issues from World Cup 42.

And that's World Cup 46. See you at the PK shoot-out!

Goal Scorers
16 - Jeong Jihun (4)
9 - Kim Mihyeon (1)
6 - Baek Jihun (2)
3 - Mun Seongmyeong, Pak Yongho, Shin Ganyak (1)
1 - Kim Gwangseok, Kim Yongji, An Pilrip, Hui Yongjun, Yi Yeongpyo (1)
29-05-2009, 22:57
3 Wins and In
Starblaydia face record victory foe

For the first time since World Cup 44's triumph, Starblaydia have won all three of their Group Stage matches and, along with defending champions Candelaria and Marquez and the monks of the Archregimancy, are one of the few nations to have scored three wins from three Group Stage matches. Direct from the 26th AOCAF Cup <static> performance they have made it through to the last sixteen of the World Cup and face a familiar foe, one who they have played - and demolished - in Regional play already.

It may have been precisely twenty-one years ago, but Starblaydia versus Kosvoe in the twenty-third AOCAF Cup produced their record margin of victory in the hundred and twenty-four year history of the Starblaydi national football team. Nine goals to nil, Starblaydia destroyed their opponents in what is now known (again) as Krytenia. Seven years earlier, Starblaydia's previous record had been set as an eight-nil against Krytenia, but within months they'd also suffered their heaviest defeat, a seven-one mauling by Valanora in the last eight of the World Cup itself.

Starblaydia's match against Kosovoe came off the back of a 7-0 victory against Oceaniaus and seven different players netted against the Kosvoeans, including a hat-trick by the girl with the most goals for Starblaydia since their hiatus - Lubii. She'd already scored a hat-trick against Oceaniaus on the match-day before and ended up scoring nine goals in six games, including the unprecedented Starblaydi feat of a goal in every one of their matches, as Starblaydia took their record sixth title back in 2077. They would go on, just a year later, to win the World Cup in, of all places, Ad'ihan.

The similarities are fairly remarkable, but as always coincidences such as these crop up fairly often in the World Cup: That team again in this nation, in that round where such-and-such a result is required. In their last match, however, Starblaydia could have had any result they liked, having already qualified from the group with two wins from two matches and favourable results elsewhere.

Peisandros they have played before in the World Cup, eight years ago in either Candelaria Or Marquez (we can't remember which). It was the second round, back then, and Starblaydia's title-chasing was all about stopping the Vanorians from staging a totally unprecedented 'threepeat' of a trio of titles on the trot. They faced Peisandros, who had made it out of the Group Stage at their first attempt, in the last sixteen but it was a solitary goal from star striker Valrauncion that gave Starblaydia the win and, eventually, their fourth championship.

The Sandrians were sunk by a single first-half goal from Ázëwyn Fëanáro, stroked home past Dorian Theotokis, and will thus head home from the World Cup with disappointment after the excesses they have managed previously. Not a single point from any of their Group B matches has also yielded an incredible fourteen goals in the 'against' column, something that some overly cocky pundits predicted Starblaydia to extend into the mid twenties. The one goal, however, was enough to send Starblaydia through to the second round as stylish Group B winners and, though they have slipped from second to fourth in the official world rankings, they are still a team that nobody - apart from a Vanorian or two - would like to face in the final stages.

Kosovoe will have their work cut out for them in the Athlete Stadium but, as always, Starblaydia look ahead. A Quarter-Final against the co-hosts Ad'ihan or Simeone Di Bradini's Holy Empire squad then, perhaps, a Semi-Final against Valanora. Should that match-up be relived for the fourth time in eight Cups, then the world will be watching.

Twenty-one years ago, however, when Starblaydia put nine past Kosovoe, there were a certain couple of young players in white that day. One short, round, bearded left-back who saw his team keep four clean sheets in their six matches on the way to the title at the age of twenty-three. The other, playing just in front of him, scored two goals that day at the age of twenty-one. He was taller, leaner and faster, but they both grew up to manage the countries in which they played for all of their lives.

Should it come to pass, Bazrador Drakkiborgo versus Jaime Kuu will be no ordinary meeting of managers at the top level, it will be a meeting between former team-mates who shared the same side of the pitch, covering for each other, linking up play together and working as a real team. If this tournament can set the stage for one of these two men to take their place in the World Cup Final, five tournaments after they lifted the trophy together, then it will be a tale to go down in history.

Kosove, Ad'ihan, The Holy Empire, Prux, The Archregimancy and Daehanjeiguk, however, will all have their say in deciding whether that story can be told, or consigned to history as a 'might have been'. First comes Kosovoe.

Final score:
Starblaydia 1 - 0 Peisandros
(Fëanáro 26) - (None)
30-05-2009, 04:35
Dancougar News!!
Screwing up the CoH so you don't have to!

Drew's Clues: Scoreless draw enough... for now: The Wings are through to the knockout stages again, handing much-maligned Shigeru Takeuchi a piece of Black Wings history. No manager has ever gotten the team out of the group stage of two World Cups - Charles DuPont and Solomon Bilbao each did it once - let alone two consecutive ones. And yet, he still faces criticism from fans who don't think he's doing what he signed on for.

There were promises made, by the FA and by the man himself, that the freely-attacking Dancougar which finished third in World Cup 43 and stumbled one tournament later would retain its identity. As a former Shuukyuu Kishin manager, Takeuchi once nurtured a healthy attack that featured Jennifer Sloan, Paul Dinsmoor, and Dwayne Landro. However, a few down seasons for the club and no notable international success ended up costing him his job. The FA snapped him up to replace Bilbao after three draws saw them out of World Cup 44 and, since then, the offense has produced fewer and fewer goals.

The team set a low mark this cycle by finishing with four 0-0 draws in thirteen official matches, including last night's squadoosh against Rennidan, who were themselves in the race for group stage advancement. Despite showing moxie, they exhibited many of the same characteristics as the Wings - poor finishing and movement in the final third. You could have doubled the size of the goals and some shots would still have managed to careen wide.

Takeuchi, as most managers do, did his best to spin the result into a positive. "I think that defensively, we've been more disciplined than we've been in any other tournament," he said. True, the Wings held Rennidan to six attempts on goal and only two on target. But, Takeuchi-san, what of your own offense generating nine chances and four on frame? "Well, obviously we're not yet where we want to be. Any team will still find areas to improve."

They're running out of time to do that. Now they're in a footballing no-man's land where the slightest misstep or bad bounce could mean an early end to the entire campaign. And while they say that defense wins championships, it's a hard sell given the firepower they'll have to contend with. A look at the teams remaining in the field cannot do much to raise the spirits of the Dancougar faithful. Of the sixteen still alive, the Wings are statistically the worst of the bunch.

"I think it gives us some extra motivation to prove our doubters wrong," said captain Dan Florentino. "It helps to fly in under the radar. We found some killer momentum in quals when we really needed it, and I think if we want it, we can do it again."

They didn't look like they wanted it against Rennidan. It's seven times, now, in eighteen matches, dating back to the first friendly before qualification, that the Wings have been shut out. Where is the skillful passing of the captain, who so effectively took a leadership role right away with Porto Lacruz? Is the dynamic energy of Kent Montego and John Schiermeier to be forever wasted by ballooned shots and fancy dribbling that leads to turnovers? Where, oh, where, is Stefan Rosberg, who hasn't come close to replicating his form of a cup ago?

The defense has probably been the most consistent unit for the Wings, although it did look shaky against Sarzonia and Candelaria And Marquez. The team surrendered more shots to the opposition, but if nothing else they helped reduce the quality of the attempts by playing their positions well and dealing with problems with greater coordination than in the past. There have been costly mistakes, of course, but the line has held up well, as no team has managed to put more than two goals past goalkeeper Artur Komarov. Against Rennidan, they made effective use of an extra man, midfielder Louis Ransberger, to harrass the Rennidan attack all night. Only one shot looked particularly threatening, but it was dealt with handily by a flying Komarov.

"Whenever the offense isn't producing, it's our job to pick up the slack a bit," said Komarov. "If we don't help win back possession or let in too many goals, we don't have a chance to get back on track. We know that we're dangerous when we play a complete game." Well, almost anyone would be, but he still he has a point. Far too often in this tournament, the Wings have been stellar on one side of the ball and lackluster on another. The Wings are capable of better... their 4-1 win over Bears Armed and 7-2 thrashing of the Landau Institute were not accidental.

Neither opponent may approach the quality of Dancougar's next opponent, co-hosts Kelssek, but the Wings would do well to learn something from those games. Part of it was panic. The Wings were in danger of missing out on qualification, and they played harder by necessity. That's good. But they also showed more attacking spirit and, dare I say, enjoyment. At that point, Takeuchi had made some lineup changes that introduced reserves into the starting lineup. Players who hadn't expected to get a shot were suddenly regulars. Guys like Schiermeier and Shoji Ishino were able to contribute right away but have since run a bit dry.

They need to rediscover the flair that they had when they first stepped up. If they can do that, they're as dangerous as anyone left in the field. In fact, the answer was always in front of them... as the hosts have been saying all along, "Discover the passion!"

Drew Papes is a columnist for the Stoneridge Post who is a regular panelist on DSPN's "Around the Horn" and occasionally appears here when we don't feel like writing another 0-0 game summary.

Montego not ready for curtain call just yet: They say there's a media bias in the central valley when it comes to college football, richly benefiting teams from Yuki, Hazuki, and Shiba when it comes to rankings and exposure. And if you were following the blogs and papers in 2036, when Kent Montego took the reins of the Royal Academy as a sophomore, you might have believed it.

As a freshman, the Royal Academy finished second in the Yuki Collegiate Premier League behind Kishin Academy, and Montego was inserted into the starting lineup as a freshman. He was instrumental in getting the team out of the first round of the tournament, but in the next round they were beaten by eventual champions Southport City. Montego came back more determined in 2036 and captured the capital's attention with his play.

"The best way for a college player to get noticed in between under 21s is to drive to the final," said Montego. "Qualification for [World Cup] 45 was happening that year, and the FA doesn't use college players. The Di Bradini might have worked down the road, but I was impatient, so I put in a lot of work during the off-season."

The Royal Academy were far from dominant in the regular season, finishing with the same 8-4-2 record, although this time they comfortably won the league by five points. Montego was even more involved, earning the captaincy. The media loved him. He did a little bit of everything. When he wasn't scoring goals himself - seven of them in his sophomore season - he was distributing, making his teammates better. The statisticians tally six assists on the year, but in reality, his cool demeanor and steady play contributed to many more.

The Royal Academy pulled off a trio of upsets on their way to the final, and with each one, Montego's star shined brighter. The media had him pegged as the savior of the Yuki CPL, the oldest college league in the nation, and were already charting a course for him: a championship now, first overall pick in the D-League draft, captaincy of the national team, and then a move to a foreign league.

It was as presumptuous as it was precocious, but according to Montego, the work he put into the game was due to his heartfelt desire to improve. "I was aware of the praise and the hype, but I had to try and put that aside," said Montego. "My only opponent was myself. It's natural to want to be the best, whether someone else says so or not."

He quickly knocked the first two off the list. He scored the lone goal in the championship game to give the Royal Academy its first ever tournament crown, and just a few months later, he was taken first in the draft by Dynamo Kalinsk.

"Kalinsk represented a great opportunity for me, because they'd always had some defense but never any offense," he said. "That meant I'd be able to step in and quickly make a difference." At the time, the back line was anchored by Mikhail Balalaika and goalkeeper Artur Komarov was just getting his start for the national team. The addition of Erica Daniels, a Cassadaigua international, built the team into one that could challenge for a top six place.

In Montego's three seasons, Kalinsk have improved from last in the table to fifth. While they were left out of international play due to tournament overflow, hopes are high that they'll crack the Globe Cup in the near future. Montego looks forward to the challenge, as he'd already tasted international play at the Empire Charity Cup. He scored four goals en route to the title, second only to Makoto Katayanagi's seven, and the stars seemed aligned for Montego to earn a spot on Shigeru Takeuchi's World Cup 46 roster. The call duly came and Montego was made a starter. He has three goals this cycle.

But the journey is not yet complete. The captaincy went to Dan Florentino, a Cafundeu-international. According to Montego, it was the right decision. "Dan is a lot more experienced and knows how to control the flow of the international game far better than I do," he said. But when asked if he's ready to take over, he smiled and shrugged, "I'll still be around in four years, so maybe then. It's hard to predict where we'll be as a nation in terms of talent, but it's a responsibility I'd like to have one day."
30-05-2009, 05:34
Griffinville Gazette

A 1-1 draw that was as uninspiring as it seemed, sees the Canines through to the Round of 16 in their 5th World cup. A Goal from spot in the 38th minute put Prux up 1-0, and the Canines played keep away for the majority of the remainder. Only a misplayed pass in the 78th minute, allowed K-P to tie the match.

The reward for advancement? A date against #1 Valanora in the next round at Junction Park, Mountbatten Junction.

Can these underdogs, no pun intended, pull off an upset for the ages? Or will thier run at glory fall short?
30-05-2009, 06:05
Partner of Globo Multimedia

WORLD CUP 46 – full coverage
By Nílton Meves – in-game comments of Breno Gavião



Holding the first position of the group after two games, the Monopolists were in a very good situation in the World Cup group stage. Although some supporters wanted to see the team with six points at that stage, Cafundéu was practically qualified for the oitavas at that stage with four points. The decisive win in the game against Capitalizt SLANI set up a scenario in which Cafundéu would only not qualify if Capitalizt SLANI drew with Lovisa and The Macabees defeated the black-red team by at least four goals of difference. So, the supporters were certain that qualification was assured, but they wanted to see the team finishing in the first place of the group, and for this a victory was needed. And it seems that the players had this same objective too, as they entered in the field really willing to get the positive result, not resting their forces for the second round game.

But, of course, to get the victory the team had to overcome the National Team from the Empire of the Golden Throne, The Macabees. The opponents had an excellent campaign in the qualifiers stage and, although two losses against the other two countries of Group F had eliminated them, they could still threaten the Cafundelenses. That’s why Andreas Gilsoweller Veiga had no doubt in fielding Cafundéu’s main players, and in preparing the team inside the dressing room for a long time commenting about strategies and the DVDs seen in the previous day, in a nice small cinema that was closed only for the Monopolists, who could watch a football game in a big screen eating popcorn and drinking guaraná soda. But, returning to the game, thanks to the commitment of the players and efficiency of the goalscorers, Cafundéu could win the game 2x1, winning the group and going to the oitavas.

THE FIRST HALF: of course the more offensive team in the game was Cafundéu, and due to it the Monopolists had the first chances of the game, involving some long-ranged shots and plays with many passes, as it is the style of Veiga (the team takes a lot of time passing in the midfield, although usually Veiga wants the team to play more with intuition and will force than with set strategies). But, surprising, it was The Macabees which had the first really clear goal chance. Malfor controlled the ball in the midfield and made an outstanding pass to Glen who, inside the area, dribbled the goalkeeper Kardec and... shot wide! The attacker couldn’t believe he had missed, while the Cafundelenses thanked for their luck. And The Macabees would really lament the missed chance, as it gave space for the Monopolists to slowly concentrate the game at their feet.

After the fifteenth minute of the game, Cafundéu had already taken the control of the game, being able to pass during a good amount of time in the midfield before setting up an attacking move. Most were intelligent ones, but stopped in the Golden Throne team’s well-built defence, which seemed always in the right place at the right time to stop the Cafundelenses. With time, the Monopolists seemed to be too comfortable in the game, and due to lack of attention nearly let The Macabees score with Glen again, who dribbled Datena and shot for a good save of Kardec. Once again, a missed chance of the opponent team served to wake up the players in black, and soon after the goal finally came. Silveira received the ball in the middle of the area and faked a shot. Fedal rose his leg to try to intercept the possible shot, and opened a breach for the Cafundelense to pass the ball to Alves, who defeated the goalkeeper with a lob, scoring the goal.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 1 (Alves’s goal): “The ball now is passed frrrrrrom Rrrrrogérrrrrio to Silveirrrrrra, he now is holding the ball well, as only he knows how to do! Makes a move towarrrrrrds the attack, can make one of his signaturrrrrre long-rrrrrranged shots... no, it was a fake, the defender believed, the pass went to Alves inside the arrrrrrrea, has the chance to shoot... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! The scorrrrrrer is Alves, number seven! Look at the scorrrrreboarrrrrd now, it shows Cafundéu one, The Macabees zerrrrro! Sun... beaches... beauties... yes, we know summer will only come at the end of the year herrrrre in Cafundéu, but you must get prrrreparrrred for it now, with Bronze Maneirrrrro sunscrrrreen... or you want to end looking like a shrrrrrrrimp?”

THE SECOND HALF: the goal in the last minutes of the first half was really important for the Cafundelenses. For the supporters, it brought to them even more confidence on the team, and some fifteen happy minutes with friends, relatives, loved ones or even on their own, while waiting for the second half. For the players, it took some of the pressure away. Second half started with just one change, Leonardo in Rogério’s place, but Cafundéu maintained the same style of play, controlling the ball possession and passing the ball a lot in the midfield, trying to find spaces in a solid defence of The Macabees, which continued having few, but threatening counterattack chances. But, different than in the first half, the first minutes of the second half had no action at all, with the Monopolists just making some failed passing attempts to the attack, while The Macabees had failed attempts at fast plays and long passes.

That situation was so boring that even the coaches of both teams were tired and, we could even say, angry at how the game was developing. It was expected for Gíem Delá to make changes in the team, of course, as The Macabees was losing, but Veiga surprised at changing Cafundéu, as the team was controlling the result well. For Cafundéu, Fugiro Nakombi entered in Marcus Vinícius’s place. For the Golden-Whites, Dermán and Falsó substituted Zeneti and (the much criticized) Glen. And, although we can’t say this happened thanks to the substitutions, a goal was scored soon after, scored by Nakombi, who had entered few minutes before, with a well-placed shot from the entrance of the area. With a bigger advantage, Cafundéu turned more defensive, and even seemed to stop to attempt attacking moves. Better for The Macabees, as the team found more space to advance, and ended scoring with Vervánt, in a nice individual play. But that was all, as Cafundéu managed to control the result until the end of the game.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S MOMENT 2 (Nakombi’s goal): “Ball shot to the sky by Datena... playerrrrrrs grrrroup to trrrrrry to take it, it is now falling... Malfor heads it, but backwarrrrrds! The ball is now with the Cafundelenses, with Nando, but he has no options... Nakombi appearrrrrs, the ball is passed to him, rrrrrruns with the ball trrrrrrying to find a space to invade inside the arrrrrrea... it’s nearrrrrly impossible, the defence is closed tight. He stops the ball... cuts inside, shoots... look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! And it’s Nakombi, number seventeen! Now the rrrrresult is Cafundéu two, The Macabees zerrrrro! Do you enjoy rrrrrecorrrrrding the good moments of your life? That day with your family, or that night with your girrrrrlfrrrrriend? For this you need a good digital camerrrrrra, and Fotofoda 730000 is the option! The photos end being of better quality than the rrrrrreal events!”

JORGE LANG’S INTERVIEWS: three games. Two victories, against Capitalizt SLANI and The Macabees. One draw, against Lovisa. With seven points, Cafundéu goes to the second round to face Bostopia again, in a game that is becoming a rivalry. We could get some words from members of the Cafundelense team, and the coach Andreas Gilsoweller Veiga said: “We entered on the field today to get the victory, and I am satisfied my players could play in an efficient way, I could say clinical as they struck at the right moment with deadly (they were deadly and clinical!) moves. We are confident this team has the quality and motivation to win a World Cup.” Scorer of the second goal, Fugiro Nakombi told the press: “This is a very happy moment in my career, certainly. Every player wants to score in a World Cup. In the play, I ran around the area trying to find a teammate or a space to invade, but it was difficult. So I decided to take a risk and shot... glad the ball helped me... hehe.”

SUPPORTERS’ REACTIONS: “Woohooooo! We won the group and are in the oitavas! Yeeeeeaaaaahhhhhh!” – Of course the supporters were excited with the Cafundelense victory in the game, and the qualification. It seemed that they have forgotten the draw against Lovisa, and are ready to motivate the team in these decisive games. But, during the game, some supporters found the passing style of the Monopolists a bit boring, with comments as “The attack is to the left, passing the ball up and down won’t help!” or “Come on, do you have no ambition in this game? Don’t you want to score?” Of course, all these comments were replaced by happy ones when the game ended (although there are always some people that are always criticizing). For the game against Bostopia, some supporters seem worried or even pessimistic, but the majority is very excited, and believing in a victory!


Place: Commonwealth Stadium, Vickery.
Attendance: 60,000 people.
Time: 13:15 Cafundelense time (18:15 local time).
Climate: clear, 22ºC.
Referee: Mark Pedroza (Kura-Pelland).
Assistants: Graeme Fawling and Paulo Sosa (both from Candelaria And Marquez).
POTM: Renildo (Cafundéu).

CAFUNDÉU: Kardec; Rogério (Leonardo 45’), Renildo, João Carlos and William; Silveira, Marcus Vinícius (Nakombi 60’), Jules and Paquetá; Alves and Nando (Hubert 76’).
Coach: Andreas Gilsoweller Veiga.

THE MACABEES: Kiendar; Resien, Tíermark, Fedal and Fernán; Malfor (Bert 86’), Vervánt, Mitoraj and Zeneti (Dermán 64’); d’Angíel and Glen (Falsó 64’).
Coach: Gíem Delá.

Goal:CAF: Alves 42’ , Nakombi 68’.
MAC: Vervánt 77’.


Line-up for the next game: Kardec; Leonardo, Renildo, João Carlos and William; Silveira, Marcus Vinícius, Paquetá and Serrano; Alves and Hubert.
Coach: Andreas Gilsoweller Veiga.

Referee: Phil Marwin (Sorthern Northland).

WC goalscorers:

3- Alves
2- Paquetá
1- Renildo, Silveira, Nakombi
Elves Security Forces
30-05-2009, 06:08
Valanora Times
Destiny Awaits

For many, the concept of destiny and fate is something that they either disapprove of, or are frightened of. Yet for the Marauders, the Navy Wave, and the rest of their fans, it is something that resembles a red carpet, a pathway to immortality. Ironic it is that we have come to view sporting accomplishments as our way of being remembered in time given that our race is immortal. However, with how the seeding and matchups have fell for the Marauders in their path to what would be a record tying fourth World Cup championship, it seems that their is a touch of destiny about it all. Four possible matches are left on the pathway to history, yet each and ever step on that path could be obstructed by opposition from the past, many looking at a chance of redemption.

The first of these squads looking to knock the Marauders off their perch are the side from Prux. It is a Prux side that makes use of holographic technology to make it appear that their players are canines taking on a Vanorian side that has shown weakness, but proven their championship quality when it has mattered. Still undefeated thus far in World Cup play, abliet with two draws, the Marauders flying high, having won the group (and possibly their entire progression) on the final matchday of group play with a gutsy performance against Qazox. While I am wary to so easily discount the heart of this Prux side, even with the use of their holograms for the psychological effect, I just don't see a way for them to defeat the Marauders.

With that result, the likely opposition in the quarterfinals (which would be a continuation of their 13 straight appearances to that stage of the competition) would be the Han Empire. The two nations have met often at this stage of the tournament, with the Marauders usually dismissing the Han, more often than not in penalties. Given the political tension between the two nations, it adds another layer of intrigue to an already very interesting fixture. The Han are one of the few nations to have the ability to say they have defeated the Vanorians recently, as they dispatched them as recently as World Cup 44 qualifying. As such, they are a side that needs to be respected and treated with an air of caution by Kuu in his planning. The best way to approach the Han in this reporters opinion is to use the width of the field. For this, Morose and va Drake are very well suited and should cause major havoc for their Han counterparts. Though this will only lead to a small advantage, and one that would have to be capitalized on, it should be enough for the Marauders to slip through once again to the semifinals, and likely another meeting with Starblaydia.

While the Vanorains own the overall record against the Starblaydi, they have had the knack of denying the Vanorians their chance at history on multiple occasions. Even having handed the Purple Peril a defeat in their last encounter, a friendly during the last World Cup, the Starblaydia-Valanora fixture is always a toss up, coming down to the luck of the day. For the Vanorians, it would be fitting justice to deny Starblaydia a shot at a record breaking fifth World Cup victory, with a Starblaydi manager no less. What would make it ever the more sweeter, it would present the Vanorains with the opportunity to tie the Starblaydi, as well as Rejistania and Bedistan, with four championships. As I have said, these matches are tense, usually with barely a goal or two in them. As each have a very good knowledge of the other, it will come down to whoever wants it the most. I for one have never seen Laborious Hawk ever the more hungry to show his prowess by winning that coveted trophy. On his unbelievable skill alone, the Vanorians hold the slight edge in reaching the World Cup Final.

If the Marauders do somehow end up in the Final once more, history is on their side. Every time that they have reached the a fourth game in the knockout round, they have walked away as victors, regardless of whether it was a Final or Third Place Playoff. Regardless of whom would emerge victorious from the Kelssek side of the bracket, every nation (bar Dancougar) has fell victim to the Marauders in crucial matches, and would be all the willing to hand the side their first defeat in the competition. This is how destiny is created, with a twinkle in the eye, the aligning of stars, and just odd coincidences. What we choose to do with destiny is what will define us now, and perhaps for the ages.

Article by Iauron Celethanelen
30-05-2009, 06:19
(ooc to ESF/Val, wasn't that Lovisa at WC 43, not Prux???)
Candelaria And Marquez
30-05-2009, 12:00
“…arian, beautifully round Crosley, and Ameeeeey… Just too strong for the Caires City midfielder to get a toe on the cross for his second of the night, but this is positive stuff from the reigning champions, with Candelaria And Marquez still only needing a point to qualify… Indeed, while it remains goalless in Outineau, they could still top the group with a defeat, but Dannat’s going to be pretty desperate to keep up their earlier momentum, an–”

“See? It’s all about momentum, mate.”

“Shut up. Did you hear that capital A, by the way?”

“In the ‘And’? Yeah. Sweet, innit? In our hour of need, an’ all. D’you suppose they even know who we are?”

“I’d imagine there’s a certain amount of confusion where we’re concerned, yeah.”

“Tch… How very out of character…”

The Candelariasians sat around their tables at O’Keefe’s – the publican, who was a bright fellow and knew a good thing when he saw one, had moved his entire pub, brick by brick, some 1400 kilometres east after the Big Blues’ travelling support had shifted back to Kirkenes – nursing their pints as the game proceeded on the television in the corner. Some eyed it vaguely, but few seemed capable of summoning up overwhelming enthusiasm. Most of them had had tickets in any case, and were here by choice.

“D’you suppose they know?” Stelios wondered distantly.

“What, them lot?”

“The players, yeah.”

They gave the screen a cold stare as Ben Zec spotted David Spooner on a perfect run, and played a curling ball over the head Ettore Salivani and into the feet of the Clube Imperial forward. The revolving advertising hoardings popped up with an UltimateOdds.ucs banner proclaiming “D Spooner 8/1 next goal”, and the striker duly shot for glory. He’d lived in Caires long enough for such a reaction to be entirely instinctive.

He wheeled away, collapsing as a jubilant heap of Candelariasian footballers developed on his back. If the Sky Dome seemed just a little subdued, the Big Blues themselves certainly didn’t notice as the festival of unnecessary kissing ploughed on towards its inevitable conclusion.

“Probably not, I’d wager. To be fair, I guess most of the CAMAFA types are out here as well, so… They might not even know. Lucky buggers.”

“They’re going to be in for one hell of a shock, though. Ha!”

“‘Ha?’ Is ‘Ha?’ really appropriate right about now?”

“I’m just saying… What if they win the actual World Cup again?”

“They won’t. We’re not playing well enough, can’t keep a clean sheet to save their lives. I reckon the swannies’ll knock us out come the quarters.”

“Sure, but… Still, what if they do? What if Candelaria And Marquez win the World Cup, and there’s no Candelaria And Marquez left to celebrate it?”

“That’s a bit tree-falling-in-a-forest for me, Stel… Wouldn’t be much of a homecoming though, would it? A load of… trees, and… forests. A few bears, maybe.”

“Dunt tuk t’me abbutt bearsh!”

“Were there bears in the Candelarias? Like, before us?”

“Dunno. Yeah. Maybe. There were wolves, I do know that.”

“He’s right. Distinctly remember that from school. And hedgehogs.”

“Turn it in, Ted!”

“Honest t’God, Terry. Little pointy buggers, thousands of ‘em. ‘Course, there might not be any now.”

“Might’ve been eaten by all the bears.”

“Could be, could be. Although, I mean, we don’t know it’s the actual, like, present there, any more. I mean, we could be back in time, or, or, anything, or…”


“Yeah. Could still be hedgehogs, that’s all I’m saying. All we know is that there ain’t any people there. An’ forests an’ that…”

“Yeah. Funny t’think that we’re the last ones. We’re all the Candelariasians that’s left. Apart from all the buggers in Sorthern Northland and Nethertopia an’ that, but…”

“You don’t need to keep saying it, you know…”

“Sorry. Jus’ can’t get me head around it.”

“And y’think the rest of us can? Nah, mate. This is too weird for the likes of us. I just wish I’d called me mum, y’know?”

“Did yeh part on bad terms?”

“Um… No. No, not especially. Just generally, y’know, if I’d given her a buzz an’ said…”

“‘Wotcha, mama. Just thought I’d say hi from Kelssek, lovely country, got modern art museums coming out of their bloody ears, and by the by you’re going to cease to have ever existed in a day or two, so don’t bother paying the milkman or owt, will you? Tret yerself t’something nice, eh? Go and have a night of wild passion with Ernie next door. Not like you got anything to lose, is it?’”

“That, José, was not the final image I wanted to have of my mother,” Ted said reproachfully.

“Well don’t bring it up, then! I’ve got three kids back home. Two little grandchildren… And now they’ve never even…”

Ted handed the Candelariasian ambassador to Kelssek a tissue. He blew his nose noisily.

“Gracias. I’d invite you all back to the embassy for more heavy drinking, if we still had one.”

“It disappeared too, then?”

“Not as such. It’s kind of translucent. I don’t think it can decide whether it’s supposed to exist or not.”

“Aw, bless. Maybe that’ll happen to us, next. You thought of that? Maybe everything Candelariasian is just going to go. Off into the esther.”

“I still feel pretty solid meself.”

“I could be a bit ethereal, if I thought about it,” Ted commented.

Terry flicked a complimentary peanut at him. It ricocheted of his forehead.

“Thorough experimentation would suggest residual solidity.”

“You’re a knob.”


“…ell into the four added minutes here, and surely this is Sarzonia’s last chance of grabbing a point, six or seven players in the box here as Morrison releases the cross… Oh, easily dealt with by Lopulalan…”

“I’ve been there before, y’know? The Sky Dome? Saw the Huge Blues get cuffed by the Sortherners.”

“You mean, back in the day when we had a rugby team?”

“Yep. Back then. No more rugby team. No more field hockey team…”

“Eh, every cloud…”

“No more CMSC. No more cricket. No more Candelaria And Marquez Has Got Talent…”

“Shit… Didn’t think of that. I was going to vote for that lass who can play the frogs.”

“Yeah, that was brilliant. No more… um… What else is culturally distinctive to the Candelarias?”

“Er… Ooh…Some form of pie, possibly? Or tart?”

“Sadly not on both accounts… Oh, ho-hum,” Stelios offered cheerfully, “At least we’ll be able to subsume into other societies without much in the way of bother. D’you reckon we could apply for refugee status here?”

“Cor, that’s a head-scratcher… Are we in danger of persecution because of our race, sexual orientation, or other characteristics generally considered innate?”

“What, like the possibility of ceasing to exist alongside our entire bloody country?”

“Would that be ‘innate’, per se?”

“God knows. And don’t call me Percy.”

“Oh-wuhh… Dunt talk t’me abbit clawsh…”

The other men eyed Benjamin Wasselueb with concern. The referee was looking less than happy with life in general.

“Chin up, Benj. Y’had a shocker in that Bostopia game, by all accounts, but it’s not the end of the world, is it? No-one back home’s going to know, are they? Ever…”


“He’s got a point, though,” Terry ventured, as their countryman slumped off his chair and into a peaceful heap. “They’re a weird bunch, these Kelssekians. Natter on like they’re actual bears… When all’s said and done, lads, we’ve got a proper handle on reality, us lot. That’s Candelariasian cultural distinctiveness! If that’s what it’s going to take, we should go back to our islands and start all over again! Recolonise it! A new Candelariasian nation starting from scratch!”

“What, with us lot?” Ted said doubtfully.


“And… About three women? It’s mostly blokes over here, innit?”

“Er… We could get women?”

“We’re going to start a brave new civilisation with a bunch of football supporters and our mail-order brides?”

“It’d be novel…”

“It’d be murder…”

They watched a floating head, who’d apparently missed the train to Ulyanov a day or two ago, flap past the window, whilst daring each other to comment.

“…ilson, O’Brien collects and finds Zec, and that’s the final whistle, it’s all over here, it’s all over in Outineau, and it’s Candelaria and Marquez and Dancougar through to the last sixteen, wi…”

“DAMNIT!” Ted exclaimed suddenly, slamming his glass down on the tabletop. “What’re us drunkards lying around here for, eh!? We should be out there, cheering our boys to victory!”

“Sí,” Satiago said doubtfully. “Who’re we playing again…?”

“Septentrionia. In Dieppe!”

“Do they have a museum of modern art…?”

“Not as far as I’m aware!”

“Then let’s do it!” Terry cried, knocking his chair back and jumping to his feet. “Let’s show these Frenchies how a Candelariasian can fade into the esther!”



“Are you sure you’re right about the… never mind… Yeah!”
30-05-2009, 14:45
Ad’ihan face tough draw
CITY OF AD’IHAN— Outgoing national manager Devida Cal will be keen for his last game not to be against The Holy Empire. Ad’ihan's 2–2 draw against Jeru FC on Matchday Three of the World Cup meant they won Group A, and were sent into a second round tie against the monks, with a potential quarter-final matchup against Starblaydia.

Ad’ihan's historical record against The Holy Empire does not make for good reading. In four prior meetings, the islanders have only won once: a 4–2 victory in Cafundéu during the World Cup 42 group stage which was ultimately not enough to see them through to the knockout round thanks to a –1 goal difference despite winning two group games.

Ad’ihan's other appearances against the visitors from the Dreamed Realm have also ended in disaster: there was the playoff match in Oxen CUP 4, which Ad’ihan lost 1–0 and suffered elimination as a consequence; a 4–1 thumping in World Cup 38's group stage which eliminated Ad’ihan from the World Cup without even playing their third group game; and, the last time the two teams met in this very round last cup, Ad’ihan held on to a 2–2 scoreline for 120 minutes but lost on penalty kicks.

What it means is this; The Holy Empire have never bode well for Ad’ihan. This time is no different. Both Dreamed Realm nations made it out of Group D; a remarkable feat considering it also featured the likes of Bazalonia. The very fact that each time these two teams have met, Ad’ihan have been eliminated from competition, is sure to be playing on the minds of the Ad’ihanais.

Dare we tempt ourselves with a look beyond the second round? If, somehow, Ad’ihan break the curse against the Monks, they're likely to be faced with a stern test in Starblaydia — who should, of course, make light work of Kosovoe. Even if The Holy Empire somehow lost to the cohosts, surely the mighty Purple Peril would stop Devida Cal's Ad’ihan career dead in its tracks.

But we can only imagine for now. Cal and his men know that the task at hand is to dispose of The Holy Empire. Once that's out of the way, they can afford to dream.
30-05-2009, 15:48
This is the RP cutoff for Kelssek, Septentrionia, Cafundéu, Capitalizt SLANI, Sorthern Northland, Bostopia, Candelaria And Marquez, and Dancougar for the round of 16.

And for four of the above teams, you really want to click here because you won (
30-05-2009, 15:49
Ad'ihan region second round scores (
30-05-2009, 17:41
One thing that you only ever see on television is who's in the 'executive' seats reserved for the World Cup Committee's 'Football Family'. Every so often there's a famous face or an important name on the big screen, but it's only via the television cameras that you get to see who's sitting in the exclusive, comfortable seats with the all-important extra legroom.

It was during the Starblaydia-Kosovoe match that one of the cameras (number seven, in fact) panned, at random, across the faces of the rich and important. The director, who just happened to be watching that particular screen that wasn't live, immediately yelled at the cameraman to stop and focus on a particular face. Checking the action on pitch, or lack of it at nil-nil, ordered the vision mixer to flick to camera seven.

"Strap him," the director said, using the industry jargon for bringing up a graphic at the bottom of the screen telling you who the person was. He was fairly famous, of course, in the footballing world, particularly so now as his features didn't age at all and also likely never would. The suit jacket had been dispensed with, as had the tie, but the tanned forearms exposed by rolled up sleeves and the familiar blond hair of an athletic man who looked in his mid-forties indicated who it really was.

'Simeone Di Bradini - Former President of the WCC' said the strapline. Whether there in an official Holy Empire scouting capacity, thanks to yet another victory over hosts Ad'ihan, or in a personal Starblaydi former player and supporter role, the appearance of such a legend was always something to be made a note of.

Simeone had figured that it would only be a matter of time before someone on TV spotted him, but he was just there to watch the football. There was ample amounts of footage on the Starblaydi side and, although nothing beats watching a team live for seeing their style of play, he just fancied watching his country's national team.

It was instinct, really, when substitute Francisco Martinez leapt high in the area just ahead of his marker to head the ball into the net. Simeone clenched his fists, stood and roared his approval. Minutes later, when the elf who now wears his number ten shirt scored, Simeone couldn't help but raise a broad smile and applaud Valrauncion's twenty-ninth goal for Starblaydia. At the final whistle after one hundred and twenty minutes, Simeone sat back in his chair and contemplated the next match.

Four years earlier, Starblaydia and The Holy Empire had met each other at the Quarter-Final stage. After a one-all draw on ninety minutes and a two-all draw at the end of Extra Time, penalties had been required, which each and every one of the Chacoran neanderthals had scored with, relying on Otarion Fanorin to miss Starblaydia's fifth penalty to send The Holy Empire through. Four years on, the same two teams were facing each other at the same point in the last eight.

Either revenge would be served, or history would be repeated, and Simeone wished he had a time machine to find out what would happen in a few days time.
31-05-2009, 03:07
World Cup 46 Qualification - Group 12 (Q) 1st
PRQ: vs 1-0 [99] Norwellia (@ Sanhaemun Football Stadium, Cheonjin - 60,000)
MD1: vs 4-1 [24] Jeru FC (@ King Kim Iljei Memorial Football Stadium, Malnira - 55,000)
MD2: @ 1-0 [84] Kagdazka (@ kak po russky...?)
MD3: vs 5-1 [110] The Bear Islands (@ Potala, Lasa - 34,000)
MD4: @ 4-1 [132] Threetime (@ Triple Trisomy?)
MD5: vs 1-0 [57] Quintessence of Dust (@ Emperor Gojong Football Stadium, Hangyeong - 150,000)
MQ: @ [33] 2-3 Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colesseum - a lot of small people)
MD6: @ 3-3 [24] Jeru FC (@ barbarians' hut)
MD7: vs 7-0 [84] Kagdazka (@ Silk Road Stadium, Seoan - 56,000)
MD8: @ 0-0 [110] The Bear Islands (@ GAH! BARS! ... oh, that's bears, nvm...)
MD9: vs 3-1 [132] Threetime (@ Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong - 65,000)
MD10: @ 1-2 [57] Quintessence of Dust (@ Arena of Dreams, Nowy Orpington - at least there isn't any trash here)
PTQ: vs 1-1 Sarzonia (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium, Hangyeong - 200,000)
World Cup 46 - Group A
MD1: vs 4-2 [20] Jeru FC (@ Stade des Îles, Ad’ihan - 92,000)
MD2: vs 3-4 [14] Ad'ihan (@ Bridge Road, Oldbridge - 64,000)
MD3: vs 2-0 [33] Newmanistan (@ Bridge Road, Oldbridge - 64,000)
R16: vs 2-2 (2-2 AET) (5-4 PK)[15] The Archregimancy (@ Bridge Road, Oldbridge - 64,000)
QTF: vs [1] Valanora (@ The Beachfront, Navon Beach - 41,300)
QTF: vs [4] Starblaydia (@ Bridge Road, Oldbridge - 64,000)

*** Imperial Palace, Hangyeong ***

"If contacting with Vanorians means we contract some seriously sick illness that renders us dead but not them, then how will our players play against the Vanorians come the Quarterfinals of the World Cup?"

The ministers were all quiet. The Emperor had a point. Contacting even one Vanorian would be a deadly game of chance. It was logically unfeasible to have an entire Empire avoid another grand group of strange people, especially when they were so pervasive in the world. Just exactly who were they kidding? Avoid all elves?

"We could try just retaliating with our own blacklist," the Emperor asserted once again.

"I say we bombard them back to the Stone Age," one of the defense ministers remarked.

"They're elves - they don't have a stone age."

"They'd use magic stones to get them back to where they are now, and what would we have then? Angry elves with magic stones."

That remark started a good number of chatter. "We can't have angry elves. We need to fend against these angry elves." Still others said, "Elves can't get angry. They're supposed to be happy. What's an angry elf?" Others still said, "Orcs... That's what angry elves are. Orcs." A lot of debate began. Senseless debate. The Emperor was hardly pleased, especially as he was trying to figure out the best policy-wise action to pursue. Ignore them? Retaliate politically? At this point, it was obvious that a military option would not end well for either party, especially against magic elves.

"What if we had our own elves?"

The Emperor shook his head again. "I've said this before. We don't like elves. Why would we want to invite them into a country?"

"I mean, we could have an enclave of elves, loyal to the Empire, primarily for defensive purposes. Against the angry elves."

"That makes perfect sense," the Emperor said sarcastically.

"Actually, I agree," Pak Yu said. The Minister of Foreign Affairs had been silent following his "sick elf" excuse, but this idea really caught his attention. "We need to have a viable defense against the elves. Surely, our armed forces stand ready, but against an immense magical force - modern tech simply cannot compete with such outlandish and unrealistic force. With our own elves, we can even the odds."

"I remind everyone that the defense policy of the Empire is that we defend ourselves against everyone else. To resign the defense of our Empire to another sovereign entity is to basically surrender." The Emperor sat down, after a long stand. He was tired of this argument. The official policy was tit-for-tat. Why should this situation be any different? Sure, tit-for-tat might dangerously tread on provocation, but the Empire would have enough sense to avoid confrontation. "We cannot let our defense policy against elves dictated by the use of elves."

"Well, what happens when the elves learn that we have no defense against their uber-magic?" Marquis Yi Jongmu said. "They will bully us into outrageous demands. We cannot not have any defense policy, beyond avoiding confrontation. This is an unforeseen vulnerability, and we cannot tolerate it."

"Well, is there anything beyond having elves as our defense policy?" the Emperor replied. "Because I cannot stress how much we really hate elves."

"Well, if these elves are anything like the ones of Scandinvans lore," Pak Yu remarked, "we could try drawing up elven crosses."

"What the heck is an elven cross?" the Emperor said.

"It's apparently a pentagram drawn out, or a cross built upon a silver element."


"It's a powerful ward against angry elves, this guide says," Marquis Pak said. "I can't attest to its proper use though. I think that we would need to test this first before adopting it as official policy."

"So we're going to protect the Empire by drawing stars onto our armaments?" the Emperor replied.

"I suppose. I still insist that we develop an elven enclave, just in case. We could offer them citizenship, in return for their services to the Empire."

The Emperor pondered long about all of this. He did need some policy to confront the elves, if need be. But inviting elves to fight elves didn't seem quite sensible. Perhaps, there was an alternative?

*** Somewhere - I don't know, use your imagination! ***

Kim descended the fire escape outside his kitchen, and for the first time, he saw the extent of the damage incurred. Virtually, the entire city was asunder with rubble littering the old streets of yesterday. Cars were piled one on top of each other, and already the evidence of decay abounded in every place. Some buildings had fallen over and cracked, while the elevated rails were cracked at places. Surprisingly, electrical sources were still operating, giving Kim some hope that there was someone was still alive. Or at least something else other than freaky clowns. He kept the brochure about Gaiathanaton ariealis, just in case he needed to read more about the disease or maybe just some paper to write something down. He also brought his backpack, loading with canned foods, a blanket, and a crank flashlight. He knew that this was going to be one long trip to somewhere, but the first thing on his mind was to get something dangerous and powerful.

He got down to the street level and prowled around. The place still had an eerie fog about the ground, and he couldn't help but imagine that there was a clown following his every step. But he needed to keep moving forward, ignore the pretense that clowns were fun and happy - these clowns were diseased and deadly. In fact, he could already be infected with the disease-causing gene, although the method of transmission he had read was certainly not respiratory. So now he wondered how he could lay low for so long and not realize that he was in the midst of a giant plague epidemic of a single gene. Interesting too, to note that humanity's darkest hour was more a random event than anything formal. Whatever happened to the nukes? The cataclysmic global environmental degeneration? The purple-men from Mars? It just seemed odd that a disease that everyone already had was going to be the end of mankind, unless by some miracle they could eradicate the problem. The fact that Kim had spent his life living an menial existence that was hardly worth questioning its significance - that too was beyond even his thought of importance. Everything in the world was for naught and now naught. Governments in ruin, and society seemingly non-existent. If the clowns knew anything of those things, they certainly weren't demonstrating it at all.

Kim walked alone down the street, where he once traveled to get to the bus stop that would take him to work. That bus stop was now a capsized hole in the ground, with the shards of glass and wood mingling in the pit. Fittingly, a bus stopped just two meters away, stopped against a dented light pole. Across the street was the former candy shop, where all of the children would assemble before school. Kim could still see the piles of candy, a sign advertising the variety that one could find there. There was still some candy there? Hmmm... it seemed too convenient, but food was still food. Besides, sugar would probably be ideal for a later date. He carefully trod the rubble-strewn street to forage among the ruins. Instantly, he met with the odd glare of a lifeless skeleton, guarding the candied pieces. Lacking weapons to fend for himself, he wondered if the skeleton was going to attack him at first. But as he started picking up the pieces, he realized that it was just dead. He kept mindful that he shouldn't take too much; too much candy and he'd be in need of some water.

OH! Water! Kim forgot his water bottle, sitting on top of the kitchen sink! He wanted to slap himself silly, but he decided that it would be best not to do stupid things. It was pointless to scold himself for something as trivial as forgetting something that would potentially save his life. Besides, there were plenty of opportunities to find water bottles elsewhere. He'd just have to keep moving.

He picked up some scraps of cloth, thinking that they might do him some good latter on as well. He'd read many books on survival, but now facing the very challenges of which he'd read on countless occasions, he found it difficult to recall everything that would help him survive. The three big points he remembered easily - hunger, thirst, and shelter. Eat, drink, sleep. It's that simple. Then, he'd have to figure out how to fend off the predators - in this case, the clowns. How many were around, he didn't know. In fact, he wasn't even certain if clowns were his greatest worry. And as the sun set, he wondered just exactly what would await him for his first night in the wild.

Scorinator's Broke - Han Win PK

OLDBRIDGE - Well, you never expected to read that headline. Han win PK. It's bloody impossible, and yet you're reading it now. And after a footy match in which we've spotted that those monks are not as impeccable as people would believe them to be, we're going on to face Valanora again. It was a tense affair, where two early goals by the monks were later cancelled out by two late goals by Kim Gwangseok, setting the Han up for expectant FAILURE. It seems now that FAILURE had a miscarriage, and the monks were praying devoutly, blessing their God for this "noble and honorable defeat at the hands of these foul heathens" (nevermind the fact that Orthodoxy FC is actually on a good roll in the IFA Cup now). In recollection, it is the first time that the Han have beaten the Archregimancy ever. It is their first meeting in the World Cup, and it is the first PK shoot-out in the World Cup that the Han have won. In all things, it's the %$#^ third time that we've played the Quarterfinals and faced those damned elves. It's like a tradition - beat _blah_ in R16 match, face Valanora in QTF match. And in histories past, the Vanorians have won every occasion, the latest by a PK (not surprisingly).

So on to that match. It was really a nightmare for Kim Jongguk, who had an extremely hard time playing with the sun in his eyes. The Archregimancy kicked off and in 10 seconds, they had a goal, thanks to some nameless monk. It was actually quite an inspiring goal, with the monk's robes covering the ball in some sheath while he kicked the ball - it really seemed like some force was projecting it through the air perfectly into the back net. Of course, Kim Jongguk only saw the ball too late and it was 1-0 at the start. The Han tried to rally early, but thanks to superb keeping from the limp man in the net, the Han were canceled out effectively, with two shots by Jeong Jihun hitting the crossbar, and one failing to test the keeper. Then just 10 minutes later, the same monk managed to steal away the ball from defense before making an ollie-oop with the ball overhead and bicycle-kicking the ball into the back of the net. Who's got talent? He does.

Unfortunately, it was somewhat tragic for the monk as he never touched the ball again. I think it was partially his volition not to score a hat trick, since that would have been extremely greedy for the monk. He'd already gotten himself into hot water by scoring two goals, so he spent the majority of the match praying on the ground. In the meantime, the Han were given more free-reign to play the match, but with the sun in their eyes, it was especially difficult for the Han to actually get any effective shots. In the meantime, people were trying to justify just how the Han could have the sun in their eyes when the stadium was practically built to avoid such occasions, and especially with the sun setting on the west (where the Han goal was situated). The perplexing dilemma was resolved when the sun set farther in its daily journey, revealing the great sheet of glass. Why Ad'ihani officials wanted to put a big sheet of glass there in the first place was perplexing beyond all expectations, but at least the mystery of the sun glare was solved.

And coming out from the interval, the Han were playing with the sun out of the picture completely. Ioshido Toki opted to substitute Kim Gwangseok with Kim Mihyeon, apparently, in a bid to prepare the lad for a visit against the Vanorians (or just to give him an opportunity to play, since the Han were already down 2-0). And surprisingly, it was very neutral play for much of the second half. The ball was stuck in midfield for long stretches, mostly because some SLANI folk managed to lose extra-strength bubble gum (and we're not talking about the flavor here) in the sod. After repeatedly kicking the ball back and forward, the ball would come loose with a wad of bubble gum stuck on it. Assuredly, after playing three matches in Oldbridge, you'd think that Ioshido was prepared for all the sorts of anomalies that one could expect, especially after the cats and dogs episode.

But come the 76th minute, when all of the gum was stuck out of the pitch and onto fucked up balls, the Han had a brilliant opportunity. Yi Yeongpyo was having another fabulous match (post-sun glare episode, at least), and on a good break, he managed to catch Jeong Jihun with open space. The cross made its mark, and Jeong Jihun made his shot, but the shot came to the palms of the keeper, who tapped it out for the corner. The corner kick came and went for naught, but on the recovery, the Archregimancy sent a tad too many monks up, so that when Kim Yongji cleared the ball out to Kim Gwangseok, most of the monks were too forlorn to start running and sat down praying. And for the one-on-one of the match, Kim Gwangseok forced the goalkeeper's most perfect save! Of course, the save went straight back to Kim who tucked the ball to the opposite corner. 2-1! And the Han came roaring back into the match. Even that magical monk started to play more, while refusing to touch the ball. Just the threat of having him touch the ball was enough to convince defense to have him covered. The nearest scare came when another nameless monk managed to bring the ball up past Yi Beomsuk and into the box. With an opportunity hanging in the balance, Kim Jongguk swept up to the monk and stole the ball right from his feet. The referee didn't like the challenge and so called for a penalty. The penalty kick came and went - and Kim Jongguk put up the finest save, smothering the ball rather than risking the rebound shot. It was really tense going into the final minutes of the match, and as the referee noted an added time of about 3 minutes, the Han were hard pressed to get at least one more goal before the game ended. They hardly had to wait, with Kim Yongji serving a beautiful send for Jeong Jihun. Once again, Jeong Jihun went one-on-one with the goalkeeper, and again the keeper knocked the ball out for the corner. An Pilrip gave the delivery, and in an unusual display of ball-juggling, the ball hit smack on a monk's head, bouncing the ball back to An, who knocked the ball out to Baek Jihun. He headed the ball into the box, where the keeper fisted the ball out to a monk, who headed it wide to Yi Yeongpyo. Yi headed the ball back into the box, where Jeong Jihun headed the ball goalward. The keeper again fisted the ball up and out. An anxious crowd watched and waited as the ball came back down to earth, and when it seemed as though the ball would come to the keeper again, Kim Gwangseok leaped into the air and headed the ball down and behind the keeper. A monk desperately dove down to head the ball out of the area, but the ball kept its course and went into the net. 2-2! Anyways, if you want to kill Ioshido Toki, do that. He fell down, apparently due to a heart-attack. But within minutes, he was back on his feet in time to watch the referee blow the whistle for full-time. And the end of regulation time... 2-2.

It was looking like penalties for the Han by that time. And extra time came and went, with the midfield battles still raging. The monks were not about to give up on their World Cup adventure, and with 30 minutes done, the PK teams stepped up. Since the monks started off the match, the monks would have the first try. And lacking fault, they netted the first penalty. Jeong Jihun led off the Han side and managed a neat tuck into the bottom corner; 1-1 in the first round. So far so good. The monks set up another powerful kick, and Kim Jongguk was flailing his arms trying to keep the ball out to naught. Yi Yeongpyo took the shot and made it an easy turn; 2-2 in the second round. The third set went all even, when both the monks and An Pilrip netted their shot. Round 4 came the closest to the Han being eliminated, when Kim Gwangseok shot his shot to the pole, but the ball bounced in (THANK HEAVEN). The trickster monk, up for the fifth try, went over and kicked the ball - it went straight to the keeper! Apparently, he was still making amends for his two early goals, unwilling to score three goals, even though these PKs are just a matter of formality. To finish out the Han's round, captain Kim Yongji stepped up to the spot and deftly made his striker. Top left corner. The keeper stretched and touched the ball. The ball went off, and went past the glove, hitting the corner according to plan. The home crowd at Oldbridge, having seen the Han in three encounters already, went off like an explosion. The visiting Han fans were probably surprised to hear as much noise, but with the home team's loss to the Holy Empire sometime earlier in the day, the Han beating the other Dreamed Realm side was enough to make them hate the monks enough to want us to go through.

Incidentally, a friar from the Archregimancy was available in post-match remarks, amazingly. He started off the conference like always, with a prayer, thanking the beloved Lord for such a clean and good match. Afterward, he issued a statement, to effect of "We're going to be spending the interim writing this mammoth compendium of World Cup football in classical Greek, detailing the history of the Archregimancy, its struggles through pious sacrifice and suffering at the hands of pagans and schismatics, all within the minimum 80,000 word limit." At that point, most reporters fled the scene. But a few brave souls asked whether the Archregimancy would be making any changes. The friar piously replied with a full recitation of St. Basil's (the Holy Fool) Confession, whereupon everyone remained fled the scene. The friar was later caught remarking how slight the faith of this world is compared to the riches of the monks in the Archregimancy. But considering they've got 80,000 words in classical Greek to arrange in any particular order by the time the next World Cup starts getting around, I'd imagine his verbal tactics were more a succinct and effective manuever to get the team out of there on time.

And so a number of records went, PKs being prime among them. It makes you wonder whether this is the year that Valanora doesn't see the semifinals. In order for that to happen, the Han must somehow defeat Valanora in their quarterfinal fixture. And for this venture, they'll go to the beach, in the face of some forty-thousand spectators. Already, the supporters have begun to try winning the morale battle by passing out placards with the words "BEAT THEM VALANORIANS" on it. Of course, this match comes at time when the Han Empire has been listed on the blacklist by the Vanorian government. As to the reason for this blacklist, neither the Vanorian government nor the Imperial government have released any statements pertaining to the nature of this move. Politics aside, I think personally there are more Ad'ihani fans who are as begrudgingly willing to cheer for one Han as opposed to cheering for the elves. As with many people, it's a case of pick your poison, but we'll only see what happens when it happens.

Around the World Cup, as we've mentioned already, the Holy Empire beat out hosts Ad'ihan by a slender 1-0 advantage. The Holy Empire, led by some Starblaydi bloke and Juan whatzhisnameorrather, will have an entertaining repeat of their quarterfinal encounter to Starblaydia, from World Cup 45. Interestingly, the Holy Empire came fresh from another encounter with Ad'ihan then, winning a thrilling PK round, before finishing off Starblaydia in another thrilling PK round. Starblaydia, for the part, managed a late rally against Kosovoe, scoring both of their goals in extra time. Whether they'll have the power to beat whatever the Holy Empire has brought along in this World Cup adventure (sometimes, the most powerful thing is left unknown for obvious reasons), that's a question that they'll have to settle in the quarterfinal. The Han beat the Archregimancy on PKs, which means that they've played for more time than the Vanorians did against Prux. 2-1 was the margin of victory, and the fact that the Vanorian defense has been quite leaky may mean good news for the Han. Of course, the more impressive stat is their continuing appearances in the semifinals, and they'll certainly be looking to make that 9 come this season. But Ioshido Toki may have some surprises for the Vanorians, having managed his first PK win in the World Cup ever. Who knows? Maybe he'll surprise us all by losing to the Vanorians in an embarrassing rout to those damned elves. Who knows, really?

We'll hope to reach the quarterfinals, where we're anticipating mildly that Starblaydia will have the advantage this time (what, with the Holy Empire having eliminated the host country's team?). In Kelssek, we've had our own bits of surprises. In a very down-trodden surprise, holders Candelaria And Marquez were ousted by those not-cheese-eating white-flag-waving surrender monkeys of Septentrionia (the not-cheese-eating part distinguishes them greatly, although I have yet to see any monkeys from that frigid part of the north...), interestingly enough in a PK shoot-out. It might have been the winner in AET, but with both teams going scoreless in regulation time, and 1-1 after extra time, Septentrionia managed to keep their nerves tight winning the contest 4-2. For other hosts Kelssek, it was a dream end to the surprisingly-not-waving-giant-robots-thingy Dancougar, who downed the co-hosts 2-1. They will have the pleasure of facing Cafundéu in their quarterfinal fixture. Cafundéu, having some huge trial distract a lot of their attention recently, won out a close 3-2 win over Bostopia. That last goal in extra time really sealed the win for Cafundéu, who probably did not want to have to face Bostopia in a PK shoot-out. Sorthern Northland, for their part, managed a convincing 2-0 win over those SLANI capitalizts. They'll face the Septentrionians in the quarterfinal, where the question really will be who will surrender to whom.

So condolences to those teams who fell out. Good cheers to those who made it, except to those Valanorians, whom we hope will learn how to lose sometime in the very very very near future.

Goal Scorers
16 - Jeong Jihun (4)
9 - Kim Mihyeon (1)
6 - Baek Jihun (2)
3 - Kim Gwangseok (2), Mun Seongmyeong, Pak Yongho, Shin Ganyak (1)
1 - Kim Yongji, An Pilrip, Hui Yongjun, Yi Yeongpyo (1)
31-05-2009, 17:51
(after one hour waiting for Mr. X to analyze the evidence against Jonas Bigodinho, the court returns to be filled with people with direct involvement with the trial - and many people with no involvement at all)

JUDGE ALRADE - "The one hour of pause has ended. Mr. X, have you came to a conclusion about the evidence given by the prosecutor, Lord Naplas?"

MR. X - "Yes, I have. This was a very tricky evidence, but in the end I was able to reveal the truth about it."

JUDGE ALRADE - "So, please tell us."

LORD NAPLAS - "Wait. First, what do you tell us about the evidence against the player agent? The documents about the share of the negotiations he had received?"

MR. X - "Sure, I can do it. I had almost forgotten it. Will tell you the results of my analysis right now."

LORD NAPLAS - "Thanks, doctor."

MR. X - "Let me see... well, the documents about the deposits are completely official and true, there is zero possibility of them being fake, or having the values manipulated. The evidence is real."

LORD NAPLAS - "Yes! That was what I was expecting to hear!"

JARDINS - "I didn't deny that they were true, but I just said they don't prove that I had direct involvement in the deals... even more, they only confirm what I have been saying in my defence all the time!"

FERRAZ - "Don't worry, the judge will see it too."

LORD NAPLAS - "Well, I assumne we are all anxious to hear your word about the big evidence I have collected about Jonas Bigodinho. It was very difficult to collect all the letters but, when I had the messages sent by him, I knew I had caught him. So, now to the revelation, doctor!"

MR. X - "In a moment, Lord, make no haste. As I said, this wasn't an easy one, but I finally found the truth. There is no doubt that the words make us believe that these messages were written by Jonas Bigodinho, as all have the words... from Jonas Bigodinho, scout of the CCFM... I am the scout of the CCFM... but, of course, everyone could have written those words. I have executed a deep analysis on the writing style and, more importantly, the handwriting..."

FERRAZ - "And?"

MR. X - "Wait, before getting to the point, I have some thing to comment before, now that I am being the main character of the trial right now, for the first time. I just want to remark that it is really impressive, really surprising to note that, in these years of the third millenia, the CCFM sends HANDWRITTEN messages to other associations! Oh my God, I thought Cafundéu was one of the most developed nations in the world, what is happening? Did Urubupungá steal so much money that the CCFM doesn't have even computers now? The directors of the associations that have received the messages must be laughing now after reading these handwritten telegrams! That's just ridiculous. Even the school essays of my granddaughter, who is in the third grade, are made using the computer!"

JUDGE ALRADE - "That's a very interesting point! I found that surprising too."

LORD NAPLAS - "Okay, now that you have said what you wanted to say, come on... please tell us what you have discovered about the evidence!"

MR. X - "I will, but... don't you find this amusing too?"

LORD NAPLAS - "I don't care, I am interested in the trial, in sending those criminals to jail. Please, go to the point."

MR. X - "All right, you asked for this. All things, at the beginning of my study, pointed out to the fact that Bigodinho had really written the telegrams. But after comparing the messages written with others made by Bigodinho when he was just the scout of Petardos S/A... and, especially, the handwriting... it was a good one, but I must definitely say it was a forging. Not the telegram, but the attempt of making it look like it was made by Jonas Bigodinho, when, certainly, it wasn't."


BIGODINHO - "I knew it!"

LORD NAPLAS - "Wait, Jonas Bigodinho didn't write these telegrams?"

MR. X - "No. Someone else did it, and made a good job in making it look like it was done by Mr. Bigodinho. But I am too good for this criminal, whoever he is, and found the truth. I can say that, in the end, what killed him was the handwriting, he wasn't able to perfectly forge it... once again I must say, why in the hell would the CCFM send handwritten messages?!"

JUDGE ALRADE - "So this evidence can't be used to accuse Jonas Bigodinho?"

MR. X - "Can't be used. And I say more, we should try to investigate more about these telegrams, to discover who tried to fake Bigodinho's writing style."

JUDGE ALRADE - "Certainly later. Now I must reunite with the jury to come with a decision about these two defendants."

LORD NAPLAS - "So the telegrams... it wasn't Bigodinho... I am confused by this, didn't think that could happen."

BIGODINHO - "I told you, I didn't get involved the way you thought I got... I just acted as a messenger, and I regret this... but I wrote nothing, and earned nothing. I don't deserve to be punished."

FERRAZ - "You've already won a battle, Jonas. We are close to winning this war, but this is at the hands of the judge."

LORD NAPLAS - "Hmphf. Writing the messages or not, you still helped Urubupungá in his scheme. You deserve to go to jail as much as him, and I hope the judge understands this."

(after some time, the judge returns)

JUDGE ALRADE - "The jury has come to a decision, and I have too. So, we can finish the part of the trial about the two defendants, Mr. Jardins and Mr. Bigodinho. Of course, there'll be still the part of the trial about the other three, Mr. Casaverde, Mr. Bustos and Mr. Urubupungá, to be finished."

FERRAZ - "So, Your Honor, which was the decision?"

JUDGE ALRADE - "Regarding the defendant Marcos Jardins, who was being accused of minor involvement in a crime of public money theft, we concluded that the prosecution was unable to prove his involvement at any rate, and that all evidences, even the ones that were sent by the Empire's agents, only contributed to confirm the version of the facts given by the defendant and his lawyer. So, we found Marcos Jardins innocent."

JARDINS - "Finally! It's over, this nightmare has ended! I want so much to go home now, I now have horror of trial courts!"

FERRAZ - "Hehe, I said there was nothing to worry. The accusations were all talk and no facts, they couldn't find any ways to prove what they were saying. It was impossible to consider you guilty."

LORD NAPLAS - "This can't be... he is the player agent of many players involved in the negotiations. He received money of these deals, and he didn't get involved? This is absurd!"

JUDGE ALRADE - "The decision was already made and, as the Counsellor-Minister of Justice was the judge of this trial, it's impossible to appeal, as I am the highest level of Cafundelense justice. And, even if there was a possibility, it'd be pretty expensive and unefficient to do, no one would want to make an opposing decision to mine."

LORD NAPLAS - "I don't want even to know the reaction of the Empress... what will happen to me?"

FERRAZ - "And what about Jonas Bigodinho, Judge?"

JUDGE ALRADE - "Please wait, I'm only one person, Ms. Ferraz! You are too impatient."

FERRAZ - "It's because we are tired, sorry."

JUDGE ALRADE - "I am tired too, but we have to follow the procedures. Okay, now the decision regarding the defendant Jonas Bigodinho, former scout of the CCFM..."

LORD NAPLAS - "Now it's the time. I can't lose this one too."

JUDGE ALRADE - "...who was being accused of major involvement in the crime of public money theft inside the CCFM. After hearing all the information given to us by the true evidences and The Scout, we had no doubt that Jonas Bigodinho, as a member of the CCFM, had close contact with Carlos Alberto Urubupungá, and had a part in the negotiations..."

LORD NAPLAS - "Yes, he'll be condemned!"

FERRAZ - "Wait, she hasn't finished."

BIGODINHO - "She must finish with a different thing, then, because the start was bad for me."

JUDGE ALRADE - "...but, after hearing the comments of the defendant about the issue, and, especially, comparing it with the evidence that proved that Jonas Bigodinho didn't write the telegrams destined to the other associations, we concluded that he indeed acted only as a messenger. The last proof couldn't be ignored, and due to it we found Jonas Bigodinho innocent of taking a major role in the crime, although he was found guilty of a minor involvement, and will have to pay a fine of five hundred thousand vintéms."

FERRAZ - "Well, this one wasn't good for both the prosecution and Jonas."

LORD NAPLAS - "No, not innocent! The scout of the CCFM can't be innocent! Oh my God, I am doomed!"

BIGODINHO - "Five hundred thousand vintéms... half a million? Where I will get so much money? I escaped the jail, but I'm ruined!"

FERRAZ - "You'll be able to keep your job at the CCFM, maybe you can get a loan and try to repay it."

BIGODINHO - "Five hundred thousand..."

JUDGE ALRADE - "Next, we'll finally decide the real nature of the accusations against the other three defendants, who want their crimes to be considered as of money laundering instead of public money theft. We have reached an agreement about this too."


BARON BOSHCKE - "My Empress, I have some news to you about the trial..."

ALICE I - "The trial! I had almost forgotten it! I am so worried with Urubupungá's escape that I even forgot to follow the trial, which is, after all, the reason why we are chasing Urubupungá... and now with his situation mixing with our conflict with Valanora, it is consuming nearly all of my time."

BARON BOSHCKE - "Yes, Your Highness, I know of this. I came exactly to inform you about the progress of the trial. Judge Karina Alrade started to conclude the trial, and has already decided about Marcos Jardins and Jonas Bigodinho."

ALICE I - "Already? What a miracle, these trials tend to take much more time usually... so, are they already in jail now?"

BARON BOSHCKE - "I am sorry, but... they were found innocent."

ALICE I - "Innocent? How? We had countless evidences against them."

BARON BOSHCKE - "It seemed that the biggest evidence we had against them served only to help them, as some irregularities were discovered in it."

ALICE I - "Can't believe it! Ah, that prosecutor will have to learn a lesson... stupid noble! He probably will make the other three innocent too, that idiot!"

BARON BOSHCKE - "Well, the jud