NationStates Jolt Archive

Six games, five wins, fifteen goals, one nightmare. That was Simeone Di Bradini's tally for the Qualifiers so far.

He rather liked his position as assistant coach of the Holy Empire team. The Hippodrome was a nice home stadium, after all, even if one visiting team's worst nightmare was evidently to be playing a football match inside a gigantic hippo, which had been nauseating, at best. It had a nice view of the mountains that led up to the Chaco plateau - though every single piece of land in the Coastal Plain had an excellent view of the enormous mountain range - as well as sea views that could stir the heartiest of land-lubbers into a longing for the ocean waves.

The weather was perfect, where even the rain fell warm and light, and the snow falls, where appropriate, were the very definition of picturesque greetings card scenes. Simeone wondered if holiday advertisers just came to the Holy Empire to make a scene as they saw fit, rather than rely on all sorts of expensive, technical, computer-based jiggery-pokery. That might be a good idea, he thought to himself, Dreamed Holidays, where your imagination was the limit. Not that he'd need money in the Dreamed Realm, nor that they'd want tourists, or outside income, or some of the filthy, filthy things that the pagans might want to do happening in their realm. He put that idea to one side, deciding it was a fairly useless idea anyway. The Holy Empire gave a man the opportunity to contemplate the very meanings of existence itself, from a place where the very nature of existence was debatable and, in essence, unknowable.

It was all very strange to a simple footballer. Though he'd traveled the world in his capacity as the most expensive football transfer in history - something he'd not bothered to check up on since retiring, did his Forty Million Starblaydi Credit transfer still top the international transfer tables? - as well as a national team player through five World Cup campaigns, he had thought that the world was fairly similar wherever you went. Starblaydia, Vilita, The Belmore Family, Doujin, Cockbill Street, Jey, Bedistan, Taeshan, Kingsford, Miceland, Commerce Heights, etc, they were all variations on a theme. This... this place however, was unlike anywhere else on earth, if it even existed on earth.

"We are all aware that the senses can be deceived, the eyes fooled. But how can we be sure our senses are not being deceived at any particular time, or even all the time? Might I just be a brain in a tank somewhere, tricked all my life into believing in the events of this world by some insane computer? And does my life gain or lose meaning based on my reaction to such solipsism?" The words came unbidden into his mind, though he found them welcome guests. Perhaps, in this case, he was a spark in a dreaming, or praying, Monk's imagination, rather than a tank. That didn't explain what happened when they left the DR, though, as he remembered Holy Empire sides as just an observer. Or did he? Was that implanted, or an actual memory that he'd experienced 'real-ly'. How much of him had he lost during the transition from actual realm resident to dreamed realm resident. Had he gained anything? Questions, even if answers were upon the horizon, only led to more questions.

Perhaps that was why they had been suggested - the orders from above were never 'orders' as such - to use their opposition's nightmares as players. You could have started answering Simeone's questions, one by one, following a single, steadily unraveling path amongst the millions of paths that were all individual, unique, and intrinsically linked. The result of that particular path was nightmares. As opposed to blancmanges. Simeone frowned, and made a note to step up the long-distance shooting practice. Perhaps if the nightmares stopped trying to walk and pass the ball into the goalmouth, they'd score a few more. Most of them had decent pegs with which to hit shots, even the shadows.

He frowned again. Far too complicated to tug at that thread.

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Bar brawl mars impressive draw

Following a disappointing start to World Cup qualifying Sorthern sprites were last night lifted by a battling point against Jeru FC. An enthralling match between two teams often described as less than sober saw a number of arguments who'd be driving the team buses back, as well as six goals. One controversial moment of the match saw Sorthern striker Giṓrgos Karyōtákīs sent off at the start of the second half after he threw a plate he'd bought out with him at Jeru FC midfielder, Nick Konstantino. After the game Karyōtákīs, who amazingly had actually managed to score, alleged that Konstantino had gravely insulted his mother in the tunnel at half time, the ref though claimed that all he heard was a conversation in Greek between the players. The game at the time was finely balanced at one all but Jeru FC were able to make their one man advantage count with two goals from the cross-dressing Noddy Odisku giving them a two goal lead. Complacency though soon slipped in, and the Jeru FC defence fell asleep in the final ten minutes to allow Lee Waywide to score his first two goals of this World Cup and secure a draw.

The real action though was still to come. In a Beningrad pub after the game the two teams treated each other to a number of drinks as they mingled with each other. Managers Merginn Moffat and Count Mikhail Ilyevitch Fedorov of Myedvedeya both found themselves to be subscribers to the same Jeruselem produced 'adult' magazine. Our resident morality campaigner has since got her hands on a copy of the magazine and described it as “disgusting smut”. The biggest incident of the night though saw Lee Waywide arrested after what has been described as a “pistachio laden brawl”. The incident is said to have occurred at around one in the morning when it was revealed that a Jeru FC player who had been referred to as James, had the surname, Dallas. Upon hearing this Waywide is said to have bought the pubs entire stock of pistachios and pelted them at James Dallas, thinking he was a member of the infamous Dallas clan which Sortherners have in the past been encouraged to throw pistachio nuts at. Further investigations however revealed that James Dallas merely coincidently has the same name as the more known Dallas family and is not in fact related to them. As such local police had no choice but to enforce a Sorthern law which says it is illegal to use pistachios as weapons against anyone bar a member of the Dallas clan of the ruling family of Jeruselem unless in self defence. Whether or not Waywide will be prosecuted is said to depend on whether James Dallas (who has been held for questioning but police insist is not under arrest) wishes to press charges, if he decidedes to do so, it is sure to be a big blow to Sorthern Northland qualifying attempts, as well as Waywide's club team, Port of Clotaire who are currently embroilded in a relegation battle in the CMSC1. Lee Waywide is understood to have made a formal apology to James Dallas, for the attack and for mistaking him for being a member of the other Dallas family.

It's 5pm UTC, and that can only mean one thing, folks...

...well, seeing as I'm actually here this time it can, anyway. CUTOFF!

And that's the scores. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=14380656#post14380656)

Woodstock Daily Mail

Stars steal two points from Valanora

By Travis West
Daily Mail Staff Writer

A sold out Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium. A full-throated crowd cheering on the home side. Sarzonia stealing two standings points from the world's top-ranked side in a well played 2:2 draw.

You would think those moments described the long ago glory days of Sarzonian football. However, they occured last night as the Stars walked off the pitch feeling better about themselves after facing two-time defending World Cup champion Valanora.

"I'm very proud of the lads," said Stars manager Brian Wilson. "They never gave up in spite of great odds against them. They certainly have every right to be proud after their hard work tonight."

After Sarzonia (2-3-2, nine points, fifth place Group 2) seemingly went through the motions in a drab 2:1 loss to Liventia, the Stars played the entire 90 minutes of this match with a fire that was missing since their 2:0 upset win over Daehanjeiguk at Marshall. However, they may have been too excited.

Defender Spencer Hicks over committed in the 18-yard box, leading to a fourth minute tally by striker Ikles Razov that put the Valanorans up 0:1 and stunning the overflow crowd of 90,106.

"I was really jumpy and Razov got me on a double move," Hicks said. "It's a play I normally handle nine times out of 10. That must have been the 10th."

Valanora took advantage of Sarzonia's attempt to move numbers forward in the 36th minute, capitalising when Laura Grover whiffed on an attempted cross to the left side. Midfielder Scott Soldarian won the ball, then dribbled past a Stars defence that was slow to get back in time. He fired a shot that Stars keeper Cody Taylor couldn't get to, making it 0:2.

"We were getting the better of the play overall," Wilson said. "We also were outworking Valanora. I figured if we just got our heads in the right place we'd be able to not embarrass ourselves."

At halftime, Wilson adjusted his lineup, subbing forward Reese Nichols for Grover, moving forward Zack Wilson to midfield. The move sacrificed some defence for attack-oriented football, a move Brian Wilson said was deliberate.

"I wanted to get after Valanora in the second half. We wanted to send them a message that we weren't afraid of them."

Consider that message sent. Playing in his first World Cup, Nichols made his presence felt just five minutes into the second half after Zack Wilson found him on a cross. Nichols buried a header past Valanoran goalkeeper Amarian Tinehtelë to cut the Valanora lead to 1:2.

"It was a great cross from Zack. I don't know how he managed to fit the ball over the defence, but I'll take it," Nichols said. "I think that gave us a little spark."

The goal definitely gave the Stars supporters life. They erupted after Nichols' tally and the noise seemed to rattle the two-time defending world champions. Three minutes later, Nichols then drew two defenders to him before sliding the ball to forward Matt Lynch, who chipped the ball over Tinehtelë for the equaliser.

"Great, great play by Reese," Lynch said.

After that, Sarzonia held off Valanora, who dropped a full four points behind Daehanjeiguk, which defeated O Ale Ale 3:0. Valanora's record is 4-2-1, 14 points. Daehanjeiguk is 6-0-1, with only a loss to the Stars blemishing their first half of World Cup qualifying.

As for the Stars, the first seven matches of World Cup XLIV qualifying could have gone better, but they also could have been much, much worse, according to Brian Wilson.

"We have to take each match on its own merits. We can't look too far ahead or too far behind. Having said that, we're about where we likely expected to be. I can't be too disappointed with our effort, except in the Liventia match."

No one knows what the second half of World Cup qualifying will bring, but the Stars can't be faulted for thinking their first half was a success.

"We defeated the world's 11th ranked team and drew the top-ranked team at home," Zack Wilson said. "That means we'll have a target on our backs when we play them away, but we can live with that. We'll just have to work as hard as possible to ensure that we do the things we need to."

The Albrecht Herald Online ~ Your World Cup 44 Paper>Global Edition>Sport>Football
Six more newbies as Dannat juggles his balls
By Mack Hession

C&M Head Coach Elgin Dannat has reiterated calls for fans to ‘keep the faith’, following press criticism over his squad selection for the Big Blues’ mid-qualifying friendly internationals.

His statements during this morning’s press conference follows earlier declarations from the World Cup Minister, Bob Herd MP, and Acting CAMAFA President Sam Mc O’Neil, that preparations for the C&M half of the tournament were progressing ‘more or less on time, on budget, and on a course to become the finest advertisement for Candelariasian organisation and ingenuity we have ever seen’.

Their somewhat overly ambitious assertions followed weeks of speculation that the vast programme of public transportation expansion and road laying remained months behind schedule, and that the organising committee were set to struggle to find adequate training facilities, and accommodation for overseas players, staff and supporters alike, for all fifteen visiting countries for the group stage.

A separate row has emerged in Zapata meanwhile, with Green Island’s government thus far declining to ratify legislation that would bring basic elements of the island’s legal system, and laws pertaining to issues as diverse as littering, animal abuse, and the age of consent, in line with Candelaria And Marquez itself. The government in Albrecht has also come under fire from opposition parties, following the introduction of a raft of special instructions for prosecutors and the police to encourage reserved attitudes towards certain activities during the World Cup period.

Tournament organisers have also been slated, with a fresh-faced Mc O’Neil forced to issue a formal denial of press reports claiming that he had spent several vital weeks of preparation time undergoing multi-million rupees treatments at an overseas health spa; while Jamie Isaacs – the director previously charged with organising the opening ceremony – was last seen running away from the CAMAFA buildings in Songstress in a hail of paper, followed by strangled shouts of “No, we won’t be having the bloody cows on stilts!”

On-field, meanwhile, Dannat’s decision to leave out half a dozen key squad members for the games against West Zirconia in Arrigo and Nethertopia in Onwere has attracted ire from numerous quarters – including domestic and foreign broadcasters less than chuffed over the absence of most of the country’s key stars. Dannat’s predecessor as C&M manager, Kris Healy, yesterday warned the Vahala Invitational winning coach against taking the Big Blues’ forthcoming opponents lightly – with both currently performing beyond expectation in qualifying – and of wasting two valuable opportunities to give his first XI playing time as a unit.

Dannat however has dismissed these claims, arguing that the immediate necessity is for him to see those players on the fringes of the senior squad, or knocking on the door for a starting spot, in action, and confirming – albeit reluctantly – that most of the more obvious players missing from the twenty-three are ‘already on the plane’.

The coach has further broken with tradition and CAMAFA policy by naming three players all probable contenders for spots on the 8th Di Bradini Cup squad, including left-back Marc Meeschaert, who is likely to become the first Ironside player to represent C&M at senior level in the modern era.

Goalkeepers

1. Harry Rosalia, 23, Albrecht FC, 1 cap
22. Ryan Gonzaléz, 28, KT Hotspur, 1 cap
23. Ben Royle, 24, Arrigo Portuguese

Defenders

2. Gwynfardd Lopulalan, 22, KT Hotspur, 9 caps, 1 goal, DR
22. Austin Neal, 20, Caires City, 1 cap, DR

5. Eric O’Brien, 22, Marquez-Onwere, 10 caps, DC
6. Caleb Christmas, 28, Caires City, 7 caps, DC
18. Jack Johnson, 26, Candelaria-Allemali, DC

3. Marc Meesschaert, 20, Ironside-Talinger, DL
13. Tom Durrant, 23, IYC Vanan [Yafor 2], 3 caps, DL

Midfielders

19. Fred Foster, 24, Candelaria-Allemali, MR
21. Diego Fernando Pappas, 22, Marquez-Onwere, 3 caps, MR

4. Ben Zec, 23, Albrecht FC, 8 caps, 1 goal, DMC
8. Joel Mercado, 25, Natestadt Nationalisten [Capitalizt SLANI], 1 cap, DMC
15. Francesco Avola, 21, Loudon Leopards [Newmanistan], 2 caps, DMC

20. Robin Jacobs, 23, Atlético Insular [Cafundéu], 9 caps, 1 goal, AMC
26. Lawrence Amey, 21, Caires City, 2 caps, AMC/R

11. Aaron Kortsarian, 27, Cafundó do Juta [Cafundéu], 24 caps, 5 goals, ML
17. Nic Lloyd, 22, Caires City, 7 caps, ML

Forwards

7. Danny Adams, 20, Albrecht Turkish
9. David Spooner, 21, Caires City, 5 caps
10. Richard Arnold, 25, IYC Toralen [Yafor 2]
14. Richard Johansson, 23, Prangren Greens [Kura-Pelland], 5 caps, 2 goals

Atalanta Journal: Editorial Point/Counterpoint

Point: End Kickball Funding, Now!

This is a chart of the bottom ten teams in the qualifying in the 44th World Cup. It's the fourth World Cup that we've spent money on, flying people three-quarters of the way around the world to places that we can't even find on the map like Koseli Kumhuriyetler, Solenial and Skytykvar. For what? These are the standings at the halfway point of qualifying.

73 Euro Federations 7 1 2 4 4 7 -3 5
74 Lecland 7 1 2 4 6 11 -5 5
75 Draistania 7 1 1 5 10 14 -4 4
76 Alversia 7 0 3 4 7 14 -7 3
77 Arroza 7 1 0 6 6 15 -9 3
78 O Ale Ale 7 1 0 6 6 17 -11 3
79 St Samuel 7 0 2 5 5 16 -11 2
80 Googlewoop 7 0 2 5 6 17 -11 2
81 Myedvedeya 7 0 2 5 2 15 -13 2
82 Alex Ruined Hallelujah 7 0 0 7 4 18 -14 0

That's right. This chart provides proof that the Arrozan soccer team is trash. Garbage. Scum. Out of 82 teams, Arroza's in 77th place. Let's have a quick look at some of the teams we're behind in the standings...

Bactrian Camels: A team made up of anthropomorphic Camels. I don't have anything against camels, he's a good guy and not afraid of anything, but to lost to them in Arroza is unexcusable.
The Doobie Brothers: A pre-flip funk band. Nuff said.
East Pocono: A breakaway republic that's never played soccer before and seems to consist solely of a few ski resorts and racetrack.
IseeRussiafrommyhouse: No comment.

If there was ever a more damning indictment of the criminal waste of money that we've thrown into the pit that is Soccer Arroza, I can't think of it. We should disband the program immediately at the end of the World Cup and stick to Football, Basketball and other sports we can find a niche in.

Counterpoint: It's Not Just About the Scoreline.

True, at this point it would be insane to defend the play of the Tar Hornets on the field. However, the influence of Soccer in this country is about more than wins and losses. Let's first talk about the money. Since WC41, Arroza has hosted over 20 international matches. That's 20 weeks of a full stadium, 20 weeks of hotel rentals, and 20 weeks of people from other countries spending their dollars here. Since we've started to expose Arroza as a tourist destination as well, we've seen a 8% rise in visitors. That income is helping us to weather the economic storm we're in right now.

But if you don't want to talk about money, let's talk about the human benefit of the sport. In WC41 we had a team of prisoners, and ever since then, Angola State has fielded a team of trained players. Normally 65% of released prisoners return to jail within six years. Among the players who have went through the Angola State system, only 8% of them have returned to crime. People gloss it over, but the only good players on this team now were prisoners that went right through soccer. Ross Gaynor at Sorthern Northland, Martin Lancaster, Valente, Felipe Quintero went from being a arsonist to getting ready to retire at W. Penthoria and coaching a team of his own back home. And the saving of a human life is worth all the money we've spent on the sport so far.

THE ROCKET REPORT

EMPRESS: THIS IS IT

In a startling announcement to Newmanistanian sports fans and perhaps even outside the country, Empress Jessica made a public statement saying that the Empire will no longer participate in the World Cup after World Cup 44 qualifying is over, as well as saying the Newmanistan will not participate in its likely destination of another Cup of Harmony. However, the Empire would continue its participation in other sporting competitions. The statement was brief but powerful:

“We have spent a long time trying to bring up the Newmanistan football program, and there comes a time where you have to evaluate the time spent and the ultimate reward. We have established ourselves in sports that are a bigger passion of the Newmanistanian public. In football, we just cannot get over the hump, and while maybe we could one day, I have simply grown tired of seeing the old standbys that can waltz through qualification with little to no effort consistently, while we have busted our tail off now for five Cups. Unless something is done about the structure of the World Cup in the future, then there is simply no point in continued Newmanistanian participation. We have enjoyed success in great competitions like the World Bowl, World Baseball Classic, and World Lacrosse Championships, and these sports will be the ones in which we will focus our efforts on from this point forward. Whoever hosts the Cup of Harmony can save an invitation paper as we will not participate in it. This has absolutely nothing to do with the current hosts of the World Cup. Please do not interpret it in such a manner. It’s the fundamental system that we will no longer be a part of.”

When asked how long this has been thought out, the Empress responded:

“We’ve been a trooper with the system, but our dissatisfaction with the process really festered itself before World Cup 43. But we stayed with it because I always felt we could do what it takes, but World Cup 44 has been more frustration. Frustration that really kicked in after the loss to Nethertopia, a lower-ranked nation that has done nothing in this World Cup qualifying but is doing well somehow anyway. Somehow we felt that our participation was being taken for granted, too.”

(OOC: Now I want to be clear on my real motivations. Yes, I am frustrated with the system , I can’t deny that but I understand that it’s all random and I feel that our co-hosts are doing a good job. But the fact is, this just doesn’t excite me anymore. Football (soccer) has been a sport I would watch, but really has never been one of my favorite sports, and I am going to go more into my sports of greater interest now. The biggest factor is this though: Starting in March, I am going to be moving into a new job which will seriously cut down on all my RP time, and I am going to have to start scaling back. Like a President making budget cuts to help the economy, this is one thing I have decided to cut out. I would like to thank everyone, though I will still participate in other competitions).

[OOC: You'll be missed, my dear hosting mentor.]

http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/7993/dailyturkjo0.png
Koseli Cumhuriyetler 0 Solenial 1

What The F***, Are The Refs Greek?
The Turks have slipped to a new low, one so low that they haven't the energy to start on of their trademark riots. Of course there is a reason for this: bias. There is clearly an anti-Turkish bias from the refs, who have given most of the 50-50 decisions to our opponents. Now of course you don't want to hear about the actual match in all it's disgrace. However it's what I get paid for so in a nutshell: we sucked ass, no joke this is actually becoming a habit, one the Turks must break. It doesn't matter who scored against us or how we played, if we can't shoot we can't score. Also there seems to be this thing that some have and some don't called luck and we don't. As a result of this the current governments approval rating has dropped to the low-teens.

Revised Predictions:
Koseli Cumhuriyetler vs Wentland, Cumhuriyet Stadi: 2-1 win
Bactrian Camels vs Koseli Cumhuriyetler: 1-0 Win
Koseli Cumhuriyetler vs Bazalonia, Cumhuriyet Stadi: 1-0 Win
Arroza vs Koseli Cumhuriyetler: 1-1 Draw
Syktyvkar vs Koseli Cumhuriyetler: 2-2 Draw
Koseli Cumhuriyetler vs Demot, Cumhuriyet Stadi: 2-0 Loss
Solenial vs Koseli Cumhuriyetler: 0-0 Draw

Basically it's do or die. with the revised predictions we would get 12 more points taking us up to 18, I hope this satisfied the KCFF.

(OOC: I mean really what in gods name is happening, I really hope that randomness is biting me in the ass and not something else...)

[OOC: Now watch Newmanistan qualify in this World Cup. :tongue:]

Rhinos eight points behind qualifying at halfway stage

ATALANTA, Arroza (Rymerian Press Association) -- Rymerian national soccer team coach Chris Hannan knew his charges were unlikely to win their "home" game at Government Park against world No. 32 Terreiro de Ogum. Not when the team struggled to defeat an unranked side that currently sits in last place only because Rymeria defeated them on the road.

However, he was still seething after the Rhinos 3-1 loss to Terreiro de Ogum in which the team "was as flat as the [Rymerian Space Vehicle] Hera's landing gear.

"We couldn't generate anything offensively, nor were we able to do much defensively. When you get both those things happening, you don't win too many soccer games," Hannan said.

However, Hannan said the loss was the least of his worries. He sounded off when informed of disparaging comments made by midfielder Mateo Calderón against Terreiro de Ogum goalkeeper Baitolah Bibah regarding Bibah's sexual orientation. Hannan substituted him out of the match in the third minute when word got to him about the comment.

"We don't tolerate discrimination based on sexual orientation on this national team," Hannan said. "Hearing the 'f-word' is a surefire way to get you off this team." Calderón declined comment after the game.

As for the game itself, Rymeria could only muster a 16th minute free kick goal from midfielder Erik Dumfries, who is quickly emerging as the best player on the Rhinos roster.

"He's been in the mix in just about everything offensive and defensive," Hannan said. "After I took [Calderón] out, he became the playmaker." Dumfries may have to take on that role for a while. According to a team source, Hannan contacted the RSV Hera and told Calderón to pack his bags. Hannan wouldn't confirm or deny the report.

"I stand by my earlier statement that discrimination on any basis will not be tolerated," Hannan said. "If Calderón can't understand that, he doesn't belong on the team."

The Rhinos play their next game at Government Park when world No. 8 Tynelia arrives. Hannan said midfielder Ethan Davidson would earn a spot in the starting lineup in Calderón's place.

"Ethan's earned a chance," Hannan said.

Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Domestic-International-Star-News-Today

Sports Section

Milchama fail to qualify more on page 7

Fuck Fuck Fuck Damn Shit Crap Damnit Fuck Damn Crap. Fuck Damn Crap.

Sorry goodbye from this World Cup see you all in the Cup of Harmony.

Jeruselem Government News

Princesses lose at home again

Ryan Greenly's team lost to the visitors Chutnusak losing 1-3. A few key players being missing didn't help. Captain Kate Sallad was missing because one of her kids broke leg while riding a bike. Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas was stuck at home with nasty stomach bug. Joanne Sloan didn't play as her broken toe was being troublesome still and Jeruselem keeper Kaz was in hospital with a broken finger. Dingle Bingle seemed to have caught a cold from Greal and the depleted team wasn't near full strength. While Helen Clarke did score Jeruselem's only goal, it wasn't enough for Princesses with their 2nd loss.

Two losses in 7 games isn't good, especially being home games but the away form seems good. The table for the group is really tight and all teams have points. In the past, Jeruselem have been slow at the start of campaign but come home with a wet sail when the going gets tough. Fellow Jewbees Milchama have fared a lot worse and look like crashing out with a wimper.

Most of missing players today should be back for the return leg except Kaz who might be sitting a few games out. Kate Sallad's son has broken his leg, and Kate being the motherly type - wanted to be there for his operation. Rumours are Marie having baby instead a stomach bug are prevalent but the family doctor said it was stomach bug and she'll be fixed up soon. Dallas girls being so small develop early baby bumps so it's impossible to hide a pregancy with them.

[OOC: The RP is entirely IC. The venom is not at all what I personally think. The opinions of my characters aren't mine, and I know an RPer as good as you will understand. I, at least, understand perfectly the need to prioritize. Good luck with your job!]

The following is an excerpt from the Times of Chelmar.

"Grow up, Newmanistanians."

CHELMAR, YAFOR 2 - Harolan Moares is well-known for his blunt statements. So is David Insfield. For both former players to come out and directly respond to a foreign nation, however, is not simply a break from Yaforite tradition, but also somewhat crossing the lines of what has been regarded as "taboo" in the past. However, in this regard, many Yaforites believe that both former players are in the right. According to recent polling of many Yaforite citizens, many are tired of Newmanistanian statements regarding the international system and how it has not worked in their favor. For Moares and Insfield, then, this is simply the opinion of the majority of Yaforite football fans.

"The Newmanistanians need to grow the hell up," Insfield said to a variety of reporters outside of his Cardarel home, "Everyone goes through a period where they have fucking problems. They're the only ones who actually dropped out. They just need to grow the fuck up." While many Yaforites will take issue with his choice of words, Insfield has certainly tapped into a vein of frustration among foreign fans. The all-time second-leading-scorer in Yaforite history is well-known for his startling outbursts, many of which have caused problems both with his international side and with his club sides as well (Cardarel FC, and the Ad'ihani repeat champions CF Mont-Pluie). The Bazalonian-born striker is well-known for his mouth and to see him mouthing off against a foreign nation is not very surprising.

Perhaps more surprising are similar sentiments by former Yaforite international, current IYC Hadaris manager, and IYF/SA person of importance Harolan Moares. The manager of the current league-leading side continued Insfield's opinions, if in a somewhat more diplomatic tone. "[I agree] with David that they need to grow up a bit. Teams do go through tough times. That's really no reason to give up." Moares backed up his sentiments with his own person experience. "Look, they think five cups is bad? Try being our national team back in, oh, world cup twenty-four. Try seven tries without qualification. Try one qualification in eleven attempts. They think they have it hard? They should try to be us."

The IYC Hadaris manager qualified his statements with a disclaimer, however. "To be honest, I don't know what they're going through, however. I do know that other nations go through rough patches. A nation like Quakmybush is the exception, not the rule." Insfield was a little less judicious in his wording. "They're fucking whiners, that's what they are. Five world cups is nothing. Five world cups is like my goddamn career. They calling that long?" Insfield is well-known as well for his constant jabs at the current Yaforite manager, who excluded him from the international squad, as well as his general anger at having been selected for either the Yaforite or Bazalonian national team not until he had turned the age of twenty-seven, late in the career of a footballer.

Moares, however, did take issue with one key portion of the Newmanistanian empress's statement. "[She] does mention 'old standbys that can waltz through qualification with little to no effort consistently'. I'm not entirely sure what she's talking about. Most nations attempt to play as well as they might in qualifying." Insfield continued, in a little blunter way. "Just because we're better than her crappy side doesn't necessarily mean anything is wrong. If anything, they should stop relying on the same boring tactics and players like usual. It's easy to prepare for a guy like that, what's his name, Allister? Macblister?" He took special note of one thing that Newmanistanians are reputed for, at least in his estimation.

"They think that they're really great. Wonderful for them. Perhaps they should look and see about the other countries that do so much fucking better than they do." Insfield finished, before slamming his car door shut and leaving a group of reporters stranded. Similarly, Harolan Moares attempted to answer the question as to what the root cause of the Newmanistanian problem was. "I think that their opinion of themselves is overinflated because of their success elsewhere. To be honest, I don't think the Empress of Newmanistan has any business getting involved with a national team football manager. The world cup takes patience and skill. I think that they should work harder and stop thinking of themselves as the greatest. Maybe then they'll succeed."

Moares ended on a positive note. "Nonetheless, some of those players really have some skill. I, for one, will be hoping they continue."

World Cup 44 Qualification - Group 2
MD1: 2-0 vs [42] West Zirconia (@ Munhwa Football Stadium - 65,000, Hanseong)
MD2: 0-2 @ [???] Sarzonia (@ Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium - 88,920, Woodstock)
MD3: 5-0 vs [76] Dariusville (@ Potala Palace - 34,000, Lasa)
MD4: 2-0 @ [54] Liventia (@ Colonial Stadium, Orean)
MD5: 2-0 vs [1] Valanora (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium - 200,000, Hangyeong)
MD6: 1-0 @ [34] Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colosseum - 599,000, Atlantea)
MD7: 3-0 vs [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium - 80,000, Gwangju)
MQ: ---
MD8: @ [42] West Zirconia (@ Manchester Street - 85,000, Moorcroft)
MD9: vs [???] Sarzonia (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium - 50,000, Daebo)
MD10: @ [76] Dariusville (@ Humphra Ignhorium - 2,000, some forest in Dariusville)
MD11: vs [54] Liventia (@ Silk Road Stadium - 56,000, Seoan)
MD12: @ [1] Valanora (@ Hatire Memorial - 60,000, Capri)
MD13: vs [34] Taeshan (@ Tae-majt Park - 69,000, Pyeongyang)
MD14: @ [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ hopefully not in a beer bottle)



MBC World Cup Special Report
http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t156/daehanjeiguk/news.png

Win Puts Han 4 Points On Top of Group 2

GWANGJU - And so, Sarzonia - that unranked team that beat the Han sometime ago in Woodstock - managed to draw 2-2 with the Vanorians, and with a 3-0 win over O Ale Ale, the Han have pretty much cemented their place at the top of the Group as we enter in the mid-qualifier break with a 4 point cushion. Truth be told, things are turning out a lot more understandably reasonable than what they seemed a while ago.

The match in Gwangju was delayed for several hours, mostly because the visiting team went to the wrong stadium. The IFA was considering appealing the WCC for a forfeit to be placed upon O Ale Ale, for failing to appear on time and at the right place - and considering the automatic 3-0 win that forfeit puts on the offending team, you'd never notice the difference. Of course, Kim Mihyeon got another start and another goal, so I think she would mind it if the IFA took a forfeit. And for the fans, Ioshido was showing that he did care about the fans, and that while he might be an oldie in one sense, he remains dutifully attached to the fans. He started several new players, including giving Kim Jongguk, Song Jongguk, and Kim Yongji all breaks in the place of some young faces. So what we saw out there was something on the order of an average 24-year-old team; and I love it that they totally dominated the opposition. Yes, Kim Daeeui was on the line-up; yes, the Han weren't completely dominating; but still, the Han played like Han should. It was an early 16th minute goal that set the home crowd for an exciting match, and Kim Mihyeon's second international goal. Baek Jihun also got his goal in the 52nd minute, along with an assist with An Pilrip's clinical shot later at the 70th minute. It was a beautiful match, and I hate to say, Ioshido did a fabulous job with the team. He's started a little slow, but when the Han are standing on top of their Group, which includes the top ranked team in the world - that's quite an achievement.

And as we get on into the mid-qualifier break, we'll take a quick look over at the other groups, to see where they're heading.

Group 1 is turning out to be a contest between Bostopia, Ad'ihan, and Y&B2; Bazalonia doesn't seem to have trouble, and the little bit of anxiety that Ad'ihan had earlier in the qualification season seems to have dissipated. The gap between Y&B2 is a whole 4 points, so unless the top three mess up their next few matches, this group looks to be pretty settled.

Group 2 - we're in it, of course, but besides the Han and the Vanorians looking for a challenge at the top, returning newcomers Sarzonia have shown both the Han and Valanora that they were once world champions and still are a force with which to contend; however, Taeshan is holding third position for the moment, while West Zirconia is tied to them on points, only behind on H2H (the last match of the half was a 2-0 win for Taeshan). The Han have a comfortable cushion between the top and the bottom of the qualification zone (the top three spots), but I doubt that the fans would appreciate any thoughts of missing qualification (although a stab at the Cup of Harmony wouldn't be a bad shot...).

Group 3 was once Bazalonia's domain, but Demot and Wentland have each taken the top, leaving the Bazalonians in third place, although 7 points separated from Syktyvkar. This group seems all but over for the sake of qualification.

The SLANI lead Group 4 with 18 points, but the difference between the second placed team and the fifth placed team is only 3 points. Sorthern Northland looks to have a date scheduled with the Cup of Harmony, after having failed to fail to qualify for the World Cup for the past two editions; meanwhile, Jeru FC and Kenavt are holding the precious qualification slots for the group.

Group 5 looks like another done deal, with newcomers Peisandros taking the 2nd spot ahead of Lovisa. Meanwhile, Tynelia leads Group 5 with 17 points. Unless something drastic happens in the next 7 matches (always a possibility), these three look to be your qualifiers.

Qazox is the only remaining team in the World Cup Qualifiers to have gained maximum 21 points in their first 7 matches, and understandably have the lead in Group 6 over Dancougar and Kelssek, the top three seem to have a firm hold on qualification, with a wobble possibly opening for Rennidan.

Although Jaseuyeon is leading Group 7 with 14 points, the difference is not significant, and the Group looks open to change. Jeruselem and Starblaydia are standing in the other qualification spots, with Urna Eletronica not far behind. Greal and Chutnusak even have their chances to sneak into the top three, but if anyone knows the power of the top three teams, that story is just unlikely if you're willing to admit that Jeruselem and Starblaydia have not been playing their best through this Qualification season.

Group 8 is also a close contest, with Krytenia holding the top spot with 14 points. Vephrall and the Archregimancy are settled in the other qualification spots, but Docky is staring at a spot with just one point separating the Archregimancy from qualification. Again, the top three are really good teams though, and unless you see any further upsets, the top three will likely remain.

Group 9 is more settled than the previous two groups, with 3 points separating the top three from the bottom five. And the Holy Empire is looking in strong form, capitalizing on the nightmares of their various opponents with 18 points. The Septentrionians are in second spot, with Nethertopia closely following them. The Quintessence of Dust and Miroxia are nonetheless looking competent to qualify, but only if the games start turning to their advantage.

Group 10 also looks pretty pretty, with the top three slots reserved for Yafor 2, Blouman Empire, and Cafundeu. All of the teams are top quality, and despite a laudable from Bears Armed, you might not see this change at the end of Qualification.


World Football - 9 Editions Later...Editorial by Cha Beomgeun, Former Imperial Head Coach

It's been a long journey for the Han. I know - I've been there for part of that journey. But to say that the Han have evolved is simply a misunderstanding about the world and how it has also evolved with the Han. In WC36, the Ariddians and the Bettians were considered the top picks for the championship. Today, Valanora is considered largely the hegemonic force in football. These teams are in their own right heirs to the champions of World Cups past for their time.

There has always been some international discussion concerning the football hegemony in the world. And to some extent, their fears may be realized. Of the top ten teams in the world when the Han came to play, Valanora (as ESF), the SLANI, and Milchama are still in the top ten. And despite this prevalence of established teams, there is some heartening news. Of the top 20 teams in the world today, 4 of those teams date to the BoF23 (WC36): Vephrall, Daehanjeiguk, Ad'ihan, and Kura-Pelland. Of those in Group 7 (Vephrall, Daehanjeiguk, and hosts Candelaria And Marquez), only Tylero has since left the WC. Kura-Pelland also became the first semi-finalist from the BoF23 group, and since WC36, three World Cups have been hosted exclusively by BoF23 members - WC37 (Ad'ihan and Novapsolu), WC38 (Kura-Pelland and Vephrall), and WC41 (Ad'ihan and Daehanjeiguk); WC44 will be the fourth to be exclusively hosted by BoF23 members C&M and Kura-Pelland). As far as I am aware, 5 members of the BoF23 edition have reached the quarterfinals: Ad'ihan, C&M Daehanjeiguk, Kura-Pelland, and Vephrall; 6 members have qualified for the World Cup (Sorthern Northland), and are all among the top-25 ranked teams in the world.

9 WC editions later, and the BoF23 class is proving to be among the best of the new lot. I think only time will tell before a distinguished member of this bloc manages to win the World Cup. I remain confident that the Han will be one of those teams looking for a World Cup Title in the near future. Indeed, the Han have risen so high, from a lowly 79th in WC36 to 10th in the world during World Cup 43. Right now, sitting at 11th, with a good performance in the World Cup, the Han may reach the semifinals this year and reach the final in World Cup 45. Of course, there is also so much quality football coming even newer countries, so we cannot completely dismiss their aspirations. The Han must face against the old and established teams and the younger, but despite the numerous challenges, I think that this is perhaps one of the best times in the international football stage, because there is so much quality going on at the top levels. The Cup of Harmony - long since its early days as the "Loser's Cup" - has become a second World Cup, with equally qualified players competing for some precious metal.

And so, world football has truly evolved with the times. There perhaps was once a great barrier between the best in the world and the worst - and it perhaps still exists, but the teams that make the best and the worst have changed. We're looking at a bright future for football internationally - we can only hope that the peoples of the world are as invested in peaceful but competitive contests and perpetuate the feeling of universal harmony and balance in the world.

Dancougar News!!
Ikashita anoko wa Darasu... DARASU!

Lucky seven for Turek in Qazox City: When Joanna Davids was removed from her post as Qazox head coach after the first match of qualifying for medical reasons, there were immediately questions as to how her replacement would proceed. A lesser team could have faltered due to perceived distractions and the change in attitude brought by a new coach, especially so early in the campaign. But Qazox are not a lesser team, and Fernando Turek is having none of that nonsense.

Turek comes off as a man of simple, straightforward talk. He's brutally honest in his assessments and knows a good player when he sees one. He ought to know, after all, as a former player and coach for the Phoenix. When his side welcomed the Black Wings to Qazox City for a high-profile matchup, he surely expected a close game. And even moreso, he surely expected a victory.

Solomon Bilbao is relatively juvenile next to the experienced Turek, but he's had an easy go of things so far. The usual starters looked good against Rennidan after a few matches off. No such luck for Turek, who came into the game needing to replace the core of his defense. Goalkeeper Natalie Dansen and sweeper Wesley Teahen have both been ruled out for several months for maternity and paternity leave, respectively. The two are expecting a child and Dansen's occasionally cautious play was, in retrospect, a sure indicator of the move. Stepping in were youngsters Jack Reed and Nathan Caulder.

It was a wide open match filled with close shaves, big saves, and of course, goals. Dancougar figured to have a slight advantage by going up against a fresh goalkeeper, but Reed was stellar. Right away, he set the tone for the match and got the stadium on its feet by turning aside a wide-open strike from 20 yards away. Dan Potts made a run through the box that ended at the top, and he received a pass from Kevin Underwood that he neatly placed in the corner. Reed was off his line in a flash and punched it over the bar with inches to spare. Potts couldn't believe he'd missed.

This energized the Qazian offense, which had put up a group-best 20 goals despite a two-forward turnover at the start of qualifiers. But the unquestioned leader of the unit is still Raul de Olivares. De Olivares has not had the most stellar domestic career with FC Takano 1983 in the Dancougar D-League, with a lot of that being chalked up to a lack of capable support. But with the Qazian team surrounding him, he's a different player. His poise shone in the 17th minute when, on a corner kick, he beat Casey Berber with a perfectly timed jump. Watanabe made the save, but it was a signal that the Dancougar defense would not get off easy in this game.

Still, the Wings got the first goal, keeping alive their mark of always scoring first in World Cup 44 qualifying. It was a 23rd-minute corner kick, and Shishio Jinguuji showed de Olivares how to hit a penalty-box header. Granted, Jinguuji has a few inches on de Olivares, but he'll take the goal - a powerful glancing header on a Lyle Dylandy inswinger. And he beat Caulder to it, which riled up the traveling fans even more. Turek didn't look fazed on the touchline, but one could only imagine the halftime talk he was planning if his side couldn't pull level.

Perhaps his team knew it, too, because the equalizer arrived inside five minutes. Maria Anna Reyes made a diagonal run from the left side and faced Kazuki Midorikawa in a one-on-one. Rather than try to cut around him, Reyes spotted de Olivares chugging towards the penalty arc with Casey Berber lagging about two yards behind him. She lifted a beautiful pass over Midorikawa's outstretched leg and de Olivares converted with a one-time volley. He looked in good form despite landing awkwardly on his earlier corner attempt.

The teams traded chances for the remainder of the half. Dancougar had the best of them when Alexei Voronzoff ripped a low shot that Reed bobbled. He pounced on the loose ball to send an onrushing Dan Potts flying over the touchline, sparking appeals for a foul and a penalty. But the referee, correctly judging the 'keeper's right to contest the ball, just waved for Potts to get up. The Port Royal striker reluctantly hoisted himself to his feet and play continued.

The second half saw more of the same. Qazox, though, were showing a little more spirit and effort, especially in off-the-ball movement. Midorikawa found himself playing almost as a fourth defender to deny Qazox the space to hit their passes, although Watanabe was forced to save from de Olivares and Michelle de Barre in the opening minutes. Dylandy countered with a 53rd-minute free kick that he directed straight at goal. It beat the wall and would have beaten Reed, too, had there not been a goalpost in the way. That, though, was Dancougar's best look in an opening twenty minutes that was dominated, possession-wise, by the Phoenix.

And that possession turned into the go-ahead goal. Bilbao would later cite the start of the second half as the crucial phase of the game, and not just because of Brittany Lopes' strike in the 64th. But Lopes' shot was a beauty - a careful build-up by de Barre gave Lopes room to work at the top of the box. De Barre, anticipating a run, slipped a short pass through the lets of Musashi Yamada and Lopes, not missing a beat, slammed it past Watanabe, who succeeded in getting a hand to it but that was about it. For the first time since their friendly in Tundra Falls, the Wings were behind.

There was still plenty of time to equalize, and the Wings did indeed pick up the pace. The problem was that Qazox was able to maintain theirs, meaning that the Wings could not afford to send too many players forward lest they leave openings behind them. Shiro Furuya came on in the 75th to serve as a third forward, but only after an extra defender had to be brought in to deal with de Olivares, who was hungry for a second goal and had to be denied in the 71st with a diving kick-save by Watanabe. This left the Wings in a 4-3-3, a formation they're not used to playing and one which severely reduced their midfield, the team's strength.

For Fernando Turek, the one-goal victory keeps his team perfect and has some analysts talking of them running the table. It remains to be seen if any side other than Dancougar can topple them based on their current form, although the second half of qualifiers may offer surprises for both sides. Nevertheless, we can safely assume that the return leg in Yuki City, on the final day of qualifiers, will be something special.

Group six day in review: Rennidan continued to falter by only managing a 1-1 home draw with Colbourne. This has opened up a five-point gap with Kelssek, who were 1-0 road winners against St Samuel. Kelssek have picked a good time to go on a tear, and now the gap with second-placed Dancougar doesn't look so unmanageable after all, as the results on the day cut it to five. Akbarabad defeated Operata 3-1 in the other match of the day.

Bilbao names matchday eight lineup: There will be a break in the action as teams play friendly matches between now and the resumption of qualifiers. Dancougar, with none arranged, will instead prepare for Colbourne as they look to bounce back from the loss to Qazox. They bested Colbourne 3-1 in Yuki City in the first match of qualifying, and Bilbao will want a repeat performance. The lineup will see minor changes from the one with was nipped by the Phoenix, with Sho Yukikaze returning to the defense and Benjamin Whittaker rejoining the midfield. Shiro Furuya replaces Dan Potts as forward rotation continues.

STARTING XI: Watanabe; Berber, Yamada, Yukikaze; Dylandy, Voronzoff, Underwood, Midorikawa, Whittaker; Furuya, Jinguuji
SUBSTITUTES: Brengle; van der Horst, Leeds; Landro, Hayashi; Potts, Garbett

A homecoming for Berber?: The surprise announcement from Newmanistan's Empress Jessica that the national football team would be cut from the nation's sporting program following World Cup 44 has raised additional questions regarding the status of their domestic league.

The Newmanistan Premier League currently only has one Dancougaran in its ranks, defender Casey Berber of Centralia Cougars. The end of the Newmanistan national team, be it permanent as the Empress indicated or temporary as many hope, has him wandering about his club future. "I haven't heard anything yet, whether it's folding or if they'll keep on," he said, "but with things being the way they are, I can't be sure where I'll be playing next season." Early rumors have linked him to one of the Yuki City teams, as they are close to his childhood home as well as his alma mater, Pollock College.

It also begs the question of what will happen to the two Newmanistanis playing in Dancougar. Port Royal FC and Sporting Lakeport have both released statements saying their offseason purchases, Chris Kusler and Scott LaFave, respectively, are still on the club payroll. However, they admit that it's possible that the sales could be canceled or the players themselves could choose to simply retire. "Empress Jessica's decision does not undo the past accomplishments of Scott LaFave, who has not yet indicated that he will not play," said Lakeport manager Ron Featheringham, adding that LaFave's youth makes him a candidate for naturalization, should he wish to continue playing internationally.

No one, it seems, was without an opinion on the matter, including national team coach Solomon Bilbao, who expressed disappointment that his team will not be able to recover the Golden Ambiguous Bird on Skates. "It's always sad to see a program get canceled, but the status of football in Newmanistan doesn't give them much leeway in terms of a time window for success," he said. "With any luck, the trophy could migrate to American football or elsewhere, although naturally we'd love to see them return to the pitch one day."

Purple Knights Shutout West Zirconia Amid Contorversy

If you don't live in a cave you probally know that yet again Brian Ying Uing had been suspended from the Taeshani National, but this time it was so the other players could get some game time and learn the game The coach said he would have to wait until the team scored to or more goals without him in a game. It happened very fast the Knights easily handled the team they beat for the CoH chmpionship last fall West Zirconia 2-0. Tad Montague kept the game screless, and yet again the Knights won on a clean sheet shutout.

The first Knights goal came early in the game when Zeke Jr. passed it into the penalty box, and A. F. Falcon was able to foot it past the goalie with a magical play. Then later Hele found defender Jacin Reallis near the gaol on a corner and the Knights would take a two to nothing lead witch they would never relinquish. The defense would stay solid, only once producing a shot on goal by any player on the Zirconian side, and Montague had a pretty easy game in which he would get the Clean Sheet.

As of today the next Taeshani game will be against Liventia on X Island i beliueve. The friendlies with Sarzonia, and the Han were officially canceled byu the Soccer Federation, and hopefully they can play another good game in like the first win. As you may know this game is kindoff big because of the feuding between the governments in the two countries, but recently that has not been as bad, so see you at the game.

QSPN.COM Mid-qualifying Report

After the Dancougar match, Qazox, yes, Qazox, is the lone perfect team in World Cup 44 qualifying. The Dancougar-Qazox match set a new record as 108,096 fans crowded into Qazian Memorial Stadium in Qazox City, beat the old record of 106,527 that saw Az-cz battle Qazox during World Cup 40 qualifiers. And the crowd did not go away disappointed, as Qazox emerged with a very hard earned 2-1 victory. Both teams used their strengths to their advantage, Dancougar's speed caused problems in the midfield early on, but Qazox' goaltending and defense, after allowing a Shishio Jinguuji header off a corner kick in the 23rd minute, shut dwon the high-octane Black Wing attack.

After that goal, Qazox' offensive strength, quick precise passes and shooting from multiple angles wore down the Dancougar defense enough, that the Black Wings switched to a 4-3-3 formation to counter the Pheonix attack. But the counterplay was too late, as Raul de Olivares, whose knee might need arthroscopic surgery due to a slight tendon tear tied the match in the 28th after a brillant piece of passing from Maria Lopes. When both teams came out after halftime, de Olivares stayed in the locker room, after coming down on his bad knee in the first half.

Benjamin Ernst, who will start for de Olivares for at least the next 2 matches, came in for him and was instrumental in the 2nd goal. After a Dylandy shot clancked off the near post in the 54th minute, Musashi Yamada decide to challenge Michelle de Barre on a run, leaving Brittany Lopes alone. lopes took full advantage and slipped on just over the fingertips of Watanabe, sending the crowd, already at a fever pitch; into a whirlwind of vocality.

Dancougar had a few chances late, but the suprising Jack Reed, making his first international start, held off the Black Wings, and earned him the Man of the Match honors. Reed, who is filling in for a pregnant Natalie Dansen faced 10 shots and other than Jinguuji's goal, looked like a vetran on the pitch.

Now comes the 1 month lay off before the retun matches. Qazox' first match after the break will be against a Rennidan team that gave the Pheonix a hard match in Rennidan, but came up on the short side of a 2-1 Qazox win. With an unblemished record so far, the Phoenix will have a big target on their backs for the remainder of the qualifying campaign. In fact, a victory over Rennidan in the next match, would all but assure Qazox a World Cup berth, as a victory would put them between 14 and 16 points ahead of 4th place, depending on the outcomes of the other matches. The Rennidan match will be at The SaxerDome in SaxerVilla on February 7th.

The Zito Zip
4 draws in 7 games.
Too bad only 1 win.
7 points of 21 is horrible.
But 4th place in group?
Better than last.
Team needs to find
a away to score.
Average of goal per game
not enough to qualify.
Allowing only 8 goals
in 7 matches is good.
But offense is sorely laucking.
Perhaps a modifier change
is in order now?
YES! Modifer is now +3.



Schedule:
MD1: Secristan D 1-1 (0-1-0)
MD2: Terreiro de Ogum W 1-0 (1-1-0)
MD3: @ Euro Federations L 1-2 (1-1-1)
MD4: Tynelia D 1-1 (1-2-1)
MD5: @ Rymeria D 2-2 (1-3-1)
MD6: Peisandros L 0-1 (1-3-2)
MD7: @ Lovisa D 1-1 (1-4-2)
MD8: @ Secristan
MD9: @ Terreiro de Ogum
MD10: Euro Federations
MD11: @ Tynelia
MD12: Rymeria
MD13: @ Peisandros
MD14: Lovisa

Pruxton Globe

A scoring outburst by the Zombies today as Myedvedeya blow early 1-0 lead. Zombie Just Fontaine get hattrick, as he wakes from whatever Zombies awake from. Dr. Mkembe gets the final goal as sun rises mysteriously at 8:10 pm.

Halfway through and the Zombies are in trouble. 5 points out of 3rd, which is cafundeu and 9 points behind Yafor 2, who is our next opponents. At least the game is at home, before we embark on 3-game road trip.


The schedule is this: (along with our Predictions for the Zombies)
Game 1: @ Yafor 2 LOST 0-2
Game 2: vs. Cafundeu LOST 1-2
Game 3: vs. Bears Armed WON 3-2
Game 4: vs. Iseerussiafrommyhouse LOST 1-2
Game 5: @ Brightonburg Draw 1-1
Game 6: vs. The Blouman Empire Draw 2-2
Game 7: @ Myedvedeya WIN 4-1
Game 8: vs. Yafor 2 (Draw 1-1)
Game 9: @ Cafundeu (Loss 1-4)
Game 10: @ Bears Armed (Win 2-1)
Game 11: @ Iseerussiafrommyhouse (Win 4-2)
Game 12: vs. Brightonburg (Win 4-1)
Game 13: @ The Blouman Empire (Loss 1-2)
Game 14: vs. Myedvedeya (Win 2-1)

PREDICTED RECORD: 7-3-4 24pts 3rd in Group.
ACTUAL RECORD: 2-2-3 8pts; 6th in group.

Akbarabad notch up another win.


The Akbarabad national team notched up only their second win in the qualifying campaign, a comfortable 3-1 affair at home to Opereta. Two goals for striker Samin Akbar and one for Hamid Kabir gave the side an unassailable 3-0 lead at half time. A late consolation goal for Opereta took some gloss of the victory, but the team will still be happy with the points. This victory leaves the team in fifth place with half the qualifying games still remaing. The team's goal now is to finish in fourth or even third place at the end of the campaign.

All in all, Lex Panarii would rather have lost himself in a good history book. The Starblaydi manager was approaching his sixtieth birthday and was having to remind himself that it wasn't meant to be this difficult. For all his intellect and knowledge he, and many Starblaydi, had never quite grasped the fact that their glory had come so easily to them, when compared to so many other peoples of the world.

In football terms, they'd enjoyed, originally, a steady climb to the summit of the international game. Qualifying at the third attempt for the World Cup, winning their first regional title in their third attempt, co-hosting the World Cup with Drudia for their fifth try, then winning the tournament five iterations later. Then a third place, another win, a second place and finally the rank of best team in the world. They'd won five AOCAF titles in that time, as well as lifting the Olympic crown. They'd got to the very top, the summit, the peak and looked down upon the entire world. That was what every Starblaydi assumed to be their destiny - and not just in football. Starblaydi culture has a long and egotistical history of presuming itself to be the greatest in the world. 'The grass is always greener' is a common saying in Starblaydia, but the closing, often unspoken, words to that remark are not 'on the other side', but rather 'in Starblaydia'.

It is a ferocious self-confidence that gives the Starblaydi such a desire to win, to be the best, to compete and emerge victorious. Then, it seems, to brag about it for all eternity. No Starblaydi will ever get tired of telling you how many trophies Starblaydia have won, or how well they performed in X, Y or Z tournament. Their qualities are unmatched, their achievements looked upon jealously by almost every other nation in the world and, if you believe that, you'll believe anything.

Of course, they'd worked for their success. The billions of Credits - Lex shuddered to think quite how much of the GDP of Starblaydia had gone into funding football, of all things, over the past hundred and eighteen years - that had been spent, the millions upon millions of man-hours, the training, the practice, the physio, the newspaper columns, TV spots, kit manufacturing, press conferences... it all added up to Starblaydi success, of course. But what of all the other nations around the world who did the exact same thing, but had zero mentions in the history books, compared with Starblaydia's dozen or more?

The culture that permeates Starblaydi society is by no means unqiue, in fact there are peoples who are even more arrogant, patriotic and determined than those in Starblaydia. Similarly there are ones who are more humble, less intense and more realistic in their expectations. None of these approaches holds the true key to success, nor can the ideal formula be distilled by taking the perfect parts from each category. You can be highly skilled, well funded, super competitive, well trained, totally prepared and still come up short before you've even made the Second Round Knockout stage.

There was always luck, of course. Luck. Margaret, the Lord of Scores, wielder of the dice and rubber chickens, randomness incarnate, who works in mysterious ways and will build you up and up only to desert you when you least expect it, dancing merrily to your opponent who neither deserved nor asked for her presence. So-called luck might as well be tuned with destiny, as was applied so much to Starblaydia's championship in the 41st World Cup. It was their entire previous story, before the hiatus, only condensed. Entering onto the world stage for the second time, starting from the bottom once more. Runner-Up in the Baptism of Fire - losing to a Starblaydi manager, at least, before co-hosting the cup two iterations later winning their sixth AOCAF and third world title four years later. Destiny, it was, for the Purple Menace, the Men in Mauve, the Purple Peril RAWRCRUSH white-and-purple all-conquering, all-singing, all-dancing, name-takers and heart-breakers that combined to form the Starblaydia national football team: the greatest the world has ever seen. Sixth-greatest, if you believe the number-crunchers in Spaam. But most Starblaydis don't. They know they have the best national football team of all time, but are merely waiting for ranking systems such as the SRS and KPBs to finally catch up with their perception, then they will proclaim it to the entire world until the end of time.

Belief. Perhaps that is the key. Believe in yourself and then you can achieve, because there's no such word as "can't". Look where self-belief gets you, however, if you for your first five World Cups without qualifying; the Newmanistanians will surely tell you. In their twenty-odd attempts to win the World Cup, Starblaydia have only ever not-qualified three times. It's a record most countries cannot live up to, and the few that can either faded and passed into history or rose to become fellow greats themselves. There appears to be no magic formula, no luck, no destiny, no definite way of making it to the top once, never mind time and again.

How can you have belief in yourself to win and to reach for the top, yet not have set your expectations too high? A team must be creative and free to express themselves however they want, yet rigid and compact enough to make it when the going is tough on a miserable wet and cold night away in Lovisa. Persistent and dogged, yet spontaneous and sudden. Defensively strong but able to score on a whim. A team of individuals, who complement and contrast each other. They must walk the knife-edge between one and the other in every category, every approach, every state. Only then, with the ubiquitous luck and destiny, can a team lift the World Cup.

In more simple terms, a team that can put together a successful qualification run of any description, get out of the Group Stage with three draws or more and then immediately win four more matches in a row. That's all it takes.

All it takes. Yeah, right.

Lex longed for an account of Starblaydi - or rather, Jhannan and Siderian - pirates on the high seas in the seventeenth century to be his reading material, or a novel about Starblaydi involvement in the Second World War, or a history of the Kings and Lords-Protector of Starblaydia from the fifth to the fifteenth century, or a new angle on the Sjatolkiair or... anything but a team sheet and twenty-three names to fit into eleven spaces.

After the debacle away in Jasi'yun, the Elves had been shorn from the team, with only Fëanáro remaining. A five-nil win had followed, which was great, but then the Humans and Dwarves had screwed up against Idanno in a nil-nil draw. In had come all of the elves at once - he'd given them a last chance to see what they could do - and they'd won four-nil. Back to the mixed squad, it went, that he'd originally selected, numbers one to eleven, had resulted in a two-nil win. Was that the right selection, had he been right all along? Lex considered that even players with incalculable talent such as Valrauncion needed time to bed down and settle in the system and against the opposition. Now he had three goals in four appearances to his ancient name, rather than none in two that went alongside his arrogant face in the papers.

Arrogant - was he? Or was he just like a Starblaydi who had not yet delivered the goods, despite promising to. Like most of his squad, in fact, but there was something about Valrauncion's sneer that was unsettling for Lex, it was like he was the shadow of Starblaydi confidence - arrogance - made flesh. In contrast, Ázëwyn Fëanáro was the opposite. Still as innately skilled, but humble and modest, like the face Starblaydia as a whole sometimes showed to the world.

Having "a 'mightier-than-thou' attitude": that was how Honored Leader Elana Kain, of Ainorpisp, had described Starblaydia almost a hundred years previously. The Krytenians had even acknowledged that even though you could beat Starblaydia, they were still better in the long run. The opponents might win the battles, but Starblaydia would win the war. Second in the group - third, Lex reminded himself, thanks to an odd tie-breaking format - Starblaydia had seven games left to correct the errors of Matchdays one, three and five. Two battles had been lost, one 'draw' that had felt like such, and four victories marked the 'war' so far. Lex resolved himself to win it. More than two thousand years of history demanded it, and Lex, like the rest of his countrymen, was never one to ignore history. After a friendly match against The Achregimancy, they would host Jeruselem and then, he thought, that would be the time to prove how mighty Starblaydia really were.

Courtney’s Space

It’s never easy watching your dreams slip away again. As a matter of fact, it can be rather discouraging to know that once again you are not going to be good enough to make the World Cup. An MBC World Cup report out of Daehanjeiguk took a very brief look at Group 4, and our effort wasn’t even good enough to deserve a mention. I can agree with that, why mention a sixth place team that has only managed to defeat one of their group opponents during the first half of qualifying. Last time we got off to a better start, with a big draw over Cafundeu and a draw against Candelaria And Marquez. Here we got nothing to show for it except for the lone win. A win which was against the second place team in the group. We had our day in the sun, but it doesn’t look as though we are getting any more. Capitalizt SLANI defeated us by a lone goal as you know in our last match, scoring in the 73rd minute after we fought them hard for a good portion of the game. Again we are shutout. We just are not getting enough offense in this thing, with just four goals in the seven games. Courtney, you’re a forward and the captain, so you’re the one to blame say many media outlets. We still have a whole second half of qualifying left to go, perhaps we can dig down here and pull something off to finish off with a more respectable run.

Looking around the groups, there are some interesting stories. Baptism of Fire 28 Champion Arroza just cannot a break, having just three points in their group 3, and in the same group the nation of Koseli Cumhuriyetler is also struggling. These are both countries with a similar ranking to ours. In Group 5, Green Wombat is off to a slow start, as is our Baptism of Fire 30 mates from Secristan, and Terreiro de Ogum has also been a disappointment. But then there’s newbie Peisandros able to be above all three of them. Group 9 is also a little weird with Milchama and Newmanistan inexplicably struggling while Nethertopia, Quintessence of Dust and even Miroxia perform well, then in Group 10, Myedvedeya, our Baptism of Fire champion hasn’t even won a match. So there’s more frustration to be found out there. It’s a tough World Cup right now.

Dazza Dallas was talking to Ryan Greenly ...

Ryan: Morning Dazza ...
Dazza: You don't sound very happy today.
Ryan: I'm worried.
Dazza: Don't be, we'll qualify. We're just had a bit of bad luck.

Ryan: I hope it's just bad luck.
Dazza: Well, we aren't Milchama.
Ryan: At last my home team Qazox are doing well.
Dazza: Don't worry about them either.

Ryan: How's Marie coming along there?
Dazza: She's over the worse of the bug. Not quite well enough to train as yet.
Ryan: She's not pregnant or something as some have guessed?
Dazza: She's not the kind to take risks when having kids.

Ryan: How is your new grandson?
Dazza: Not exactly the biggest baby but healthy. Kate wants a girl now.
Ryan: You've got enough girls in your family.
Dazza: I've only produced three girls, I wanted more.

Ryan: You've definitely got the factory working over there.
Dazza: Only quality products come out of our baby factory, except maybe a few defective ones like Hikfie and Sadie.
Ryan: Why is Sadie so brain dead?
Dazza: Nerve gas ... not good for brain development when one is in the womb.

Ryan: Oh right, poor girl.
Dazza: So what about yourself? When is a new Greenly turning up?
Ryan: Hopefully, not right now. Got enough distractions already.
Dazza: A man like you should have kids by now.

Ryan: Too much time spent with the World Cup for Qazox.
Dazza: Look at me, 4 kids and a career.
Ryan: But you're just a freak.
Dazza: well, not everyone can be Dazza Dallas.

Ryan: How come you're not retiring at your age? You have enough money and kids to keep yourself busy.
Dazza: One gets bored! Got to keep the brain working or it'll go rotten.
Ryan: Still, you haven't totally lost your looks even at this age.
Dazza: Yeah, but look at all this grey hair. I like been a grandma but don't want to look like one.

Ryan: You don't look like a senile old woman at all.
Dazza: You know, some women retire far too early and retire from life. I don't want to make that mistake.
Ryan: Well, I'm glad you're on board to help out.
Dazza: I'm going be buried in football shaped coffin.

Ryan: That's not very practical.
Dazza: Yeah but I'm going to be dead anyway so comfort isn't an issue.
Ryan: I mean the coffin is not easy to control, or move without issue.
Dazza: I'm sure they'll find a way. I don't mind being rolled around the place.

What's this? An RP cut-off for a handful of friendly matches? Scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14384277&postcount=11).

The rest of ye, carry on about your daily business. Nothing to see here.

GAZETA DO POVO - ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS HERE!
Sports Section - article written by Carlos Alberto Gujabre
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IS CAFUNDÉU CURSED IN QUALIFIERS?

With half of the games in the qualifying stage of the World Cup already played, the Cafundelense supporters have to face the awful situation of the Monopolists in the standings: after a good start, winning important games against Prux and Yafor 2, the team seemed to forget how to play football in games that had to be considered certain victories, and is now in the third position of the group. It is true that this position puts Cafundéu into the World Cup, but our country surely deserves more, due to the talent of the players and our current position in the world rankings: after all, how can the fifth best team in the world perform so badly against teams that are playing their first qualification stage in their history?

Although saying that Cafundéu shouldn't lose a single game is an exaggeration, the current performance of the Monopolists in this World Cup qualifiers is far worse than the expected. The Cafundelenses have the responsibility to get the first position of the group, to honour their fame. Instead, they missed precious points, and aren't in a comfortable position, still battling for the World Cup spot. This in a World Cup cycle in which the supporters are hoping for a title. We have to think about this. There is something wrong, this is for sure. Maybe the players aren't motivated enough? Or the coach is too old and doesn't have modern tactics? Maybe our problem is really on the field, but some supporters have another version...

Their theory is the following: what if Cafundéu is under a curse? The "90' Qualifiers Curse" theory, as it is being called in the country, claims that the country's National Team, after qualifying for the World Cup in its first attempt, was the target of a curse that would make the following qualifying challenges of the Monopolists extremely difficult. Many people agree with this theory as, after all, Cafundéu's easiest qualification campaign was exactly its first. After that, the country had to get the qualification in the last round of many groups (WC33, WC34 are the biggest examples) or even had to play playoffs to take the qualification (this happened in World Cups 37 and 40). This without commenting about other difficult campaigns.

But another interesting detail of this theory is that, although it claims that Cafundéu will ever have difficult qualifying campaigns, in the end the country gets the qualification, as happened in the examples given. That's why it is called the "90' Qualifiers Curse". Just like a goal in the 90th minute of the game, the Cafundelense qualification comes in the last moments of a campaign. The supporters suffer with anxiety during the campaign, but end commemorating the qualification. If we think about this, Cafundéu is one of the most successful countries in World Cup qualifiers (not in points, but in percentage of successful qualification attempts), of course behind Oickoidia, which qualificated in its only World Cup attempt (Cafundéu qualified in 9 of 10 attempts, missing WC35 - also qualifying twice as the host country).

Cursed or not cursed, the Monopolists really should perform better in this competition, as they have a huge responsibility. If they qualify in the third position, it can mean that this team doesn't have enough quality to battle for a World Cup title. David Nefasto is already being criticized, some players even received threats (Luizão being the biggest target of those). This team has a huge potential, mixing incredible young talents like Alves, Cotuba and Serrano (although the latter won't participate in the WC proper) with experienced legends like Augusto César, Marossi and Silveira. There are seven more games to be played in this World Cup qualifying stage. According to the supporters, the expected amount of points for the Cafundelense team is of eighteen or higher. Surely this is too much for Cafundéu if they continue with these performances.

THE ORIXÁS SAY: TEAM UNDER SERIOUS THREAT

After a successful campaign in World Cup 43, in which the defenders of the Umbanda faith have gloriously conquered, with the help of our beloved Orixás, the qualification for the competition and after that could use their divine strength to reach the Round of 16, Terreiro de Ogum now has difficulties. Only able to win one of seven games of the first half of the qualification stage of this World Cup, the Orixás defenders are praying and making rituals to change this situation.

In the last World Cup, the Orixás gave the team strength which, associated with the players' natural footballing ability, could bring glory to Terreiro de Ogum. The white team seemed unstopabble, until Cafundéu appeared on our way to end our hopes of an even better campaign. Of course, being one of the top 16 nations of the world (in the cup, not in the rankings, of course), was more than what we expected. But in this World Cup, the situation is the opposite, and a bad one.

Even making many rituals and praying a lot to receive the help of the Orixás, the Terreiro de Ogum team fails to repeat the marvellous performances of the previous edition of this competition. It seems that the balance between faith and footballing ability wasn't mantained, and put us under difficulties. To make things worse, that insane island is waiting for our failure to return to the footballing scene. We can't fail, or they can take our place, ending our footballing history forever.

"You're listening to Fused Radio, Bekkside's number one student radio station, and welcome to Sport on Saturday with me, Michelangelo Verrochio."

*Jingle plays*

"Yes, it's Saturday, it's mid-way through the Qualifiers for the 2090 World Cup and... there's not a single World Cup Qualifier on today. Yep, we've had seven Matchdays already and they've decided to take a break, the lazy bunch of overpaid millionaire players that they are.

"But, don't worry, dear listener, as you've evidently tuned to 88.3 FM in and around the Bekk, or you've gone online to www-dot tabeck-dot edu-dot-sb FOWARD SLASH! fusedradio and tuned in from there. Well done you technical types, listening in around Starblaydia, Atlantian Oceania and, indeed, the world. In honour of the fact they're taking a break from the Qualifiers, we're playing 'Take a break' by The Playerinos..."

*Music plays*

"Sport on Saturday, of course, coming up today we have all the action and updates from a bunch of friendly matches including, oh yes, Starblaydia's visit to the Archregimancy - Dong! - for their second match in the Mike Sarzo Memorial series, a good cause and all that - Starblaydia can of course be declared the winners of that charitable little mini-tournament with a win at the Monks today. It's the real pick of the games today as the sixth-best side in the world, our Starblaydia, go to the cold and frosty snow-covered pitch of the Archregimancy, ranked twelfth in the world.

"We'll have updates from all the other games being played today, including Krytenia hosting Secristan, Kura-Pelland meeting Qazox in either Candelaria or Marquez, I never know which is which, and Daehanjeiguk's trip to Sorthern Northland, among others.

"Our crack team of pundits are watching all these games and they'll give me the updates to give... to you. Whether you're in the Tabeck Student Union bar or sitting at home at your computer on a lovely crisp Saturday afternoon when you should really be elsewhere having fun. We have updates from both the NIHIL and SDL to give you Ice Hockey types some food for your obsessions. But first we're playing 'Obsession', by The Crooks."

*Music plays*

"Team news in the Archregimancy/Starblaydia match - first the hosts, all Fathers, of course, in the religious sense, unlikely that they're fathers in the biological sense. They're a standard four-four-two which reads as follows: Adrian; Barlaam, Gavriil, Euphrosynus, Dmitri; Boris, Vladmir, John, Gleb; Innocent and Herman up front complete the line-up. Two brothers on each wing for the Monks, Boris and Gleb, so expect some switching and neat play from those two.

"Now, to Starblaydia. Lex Panarii has evidently gone for his full strength line-up with his strongest available squad. They are: Taniquentar; Movalinen, Logan, Samba, Avathar; England, Fëanáro, Mus'haf, Vegachenko; Captain Di Bradini Ma'am and Valrauncion are the strikers.

"Interesting line-ups with both Panarii and Father Anthony the Great picking their strongest sides for this meaningless match, though it's not meaningless for Cancer charities, as all the money from these games is being donated to Cancer Research. Pink ribbons and a round of applause all round, if you please."

*'Round the world' by Stuff'n'junk plays*

"GOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLL! Goal for Starblaydia, it's one-nil already, just three minutes in an Starblaydia have taken the lead and they'll be dancin' in the streets of Internashionale tonight because it's the defender, LOUSIA LOGAN with the goal, a header from an early corner! That's her first ever goal for Starblaydia, coming on her twenty-seventh appearance for the white and purples. Archregimancy nil, Starblaydia one: Logan, on three minutes. Good girl.

"In the Starblaydi Dwarven League, Nebazarr Mahamhir of the Runic Guild has struck a back-handed shot past the bulk of Dagnir Tumunzahar who was tending the goal of the Mining Co-Operative Guild... Runics one, MCG zip on the ice. Back on the snow, Mus'haf is putting himself about a bit against the monks being called for a foul."

*'Wolverine' by Cressic Modesty plays*

"How very, very appropriate. We can report a goal for Cassadaigua... it's one-nil in their match now against Arroza, Baptism of Fire Champions, I believe. An upset in the making? Who knows, as I've never heard of either of them... An... Another Baptism of Fire Champion is behind, it's Myedvedeya this time, now trailing West Zirconia by a goal to nil. Wow, exciting. These friendlies are getting interesting. Quite.

"'Why does Valrauncion play?' one of our texters asks, 'because he's rubbish and ponces about without scoring!' Well, three goals in the last two games, two against Chutnusak and one against Greal, would point to the fact that he can score some goals but yes I agree, he does ponce around rather a lot.

"Speaking of ponces, here's the news..."

*Programme interrupted for the news*

"Sport on Saturday, with Michelangelo Verrochio, where it's now The Archregimancy nil, Starblaydia two. Valllllllllrauncion! Fresh from poncing around in the penalty area, he was fouled by Father Gavriil of Pantaleimon and bam! Slotted home the penalty without any ado, though Father Gavriil was praying for forgiveness and unable to follow up on any rebound, but Valrauncion was too good and slotted it home with a bang.

"Looking like a good match in prospect there, a little snow flurry not putting anyone off. No wait, it's inc- incredible! He ain't no fool, it's Father John the Fool-For-Christ, who's pulled one back for the Archregimancy! They were two down for barely four minutes, and have pulled one back half an hour in: Archregimancy One, Starblaydia Two - Game on!

"Well, wasn't that interesting? Thorin Hazbathim has put another one in the goal for the Runic Guild, over on the ice rink, MCG two-zip down now. Ovver in the NIHIL - National Ice Hockey Incorporated League its Sciapos Riders who are now three-one down to the Jhanna Combatants, and we can project a winner there - the boys from the capital - with two periods played. Some more boys from the capital, its Jhan-Rock group Frangianni, with 'Deuce'.

*Music plays*

"Half time, then, in the Mike Sarzo Memorial match, Archregimancy one, Starblaydia two. Logan and Valrauncion for the white and purples, and Father John with a single reply for the Monks. Elsewhere it's currently Candelaria And Marquez nil, Nethertopia nil and Rymeria two, Sarzonia two. Both too close to call, as they say in places where they have elections!

"Michelangelo Verrochio with you throughout this afternoon - does anyone have any suggestions for the next Starblaydi Under-21 squad? The eighth Di Bradini Cup will be coming along in a couple of years: who should be in the team? Tell me about your clubs, the young players you have who will go on to glory in the national side. There's an AOCAF Cup, too, around the corner and surely some young players will need to be in that squad. Let me know on the texts or email me, just click on my face at www-dot tabeck-dot edu-dot-sb FOWARD SLASH! fusedradio to send me an email, and we can see what y'all think.

"Goal! Equaliser! Monks! In the snow! Dacil Taniquentar concedes again as Starblaydia's four straight clean sheets comes to a crashing end! Father Innocent of Novospassky is the guilty party, now leading his teammates in a prayer - one of the less-interesting group celebrations I've seen, but at least it's not the 'rock the baby' or 'shine the shoes' one. 'Bathe the leper's sores', perhaps. Ewww.

"Got some early names on the texts here, them Daehanjeiguk-based fans know their onions, at least, as Seoan Gukjei forwards Ryu Jones and Lii Hyo-Jin are names being touted. Interesting. The young Lii fella is probably a bit young at the moment, but if Ryu Jones has the skills of his Britannican ancestor Akira, then we'll have a great striker on our hands. Are they both Starblaydi? Hope so. Anyways... ... Gabrielle Johnson, says someone on the e-mail, probably from Krytenia as she's on the Avidia City youth team. And she's hot, apparently. Calm down, dear."

*'Calmness Personified At All Times' by Amazing Side of Man plays*

"Interesting games playing out today but unfortunately they're all meaningless as it's just friendlies. Meaningless maybe, but not to Ricky England, who's put Starblaydia three-two in front! Ing-er-lund with the goal, right-foot shot low into the bottom left corner, across the face of goal - lovely strike that was skipping across the snowfall. Three-Two!

"Alessandro Gomes is the latest Under-21 name on the list, a midfielder or striker with a lot of ability. Watch out for him. You heard it here first! Www-dot tabeck-dot edu-dot-sb FOWARD SLASH! fusedradio, Bekkside's number one student radio station, and you're listening to Sport on Saturday with me, Michelangelo Verrochio."

*Jingle plays*

"Yep we've had Ricky Englands twelfth goal, Valrauncions fourth in three matches, he's only played five games, of course, added to Lousia Logans unlikely first goal for her country. Father's John and Innocent with the Monk goals. Six-One in the NIHIL match as the Riders fall to the Combatants, I told you we'd already projected that win there, when it was still three-one. Damn Hockey matches! Where's the football. Full-time in outer space, as Sarzonia draw Rymeria two-all. Exciting!

"Coming up to full time in the Starblaydia match, we're edging for a Starblaydi win but even up just just one goal it is still TOO CLOSE... TO CALL. Oh yes. Gareth Dixon for the number-one shirt, I'm hearing, for the Under-21s. Can't argue there, as I don't know who he plays for. Who says I claim to know everything... what I do know, though, is that STARBLAYDIA HAVE SCORED AGAIN! Four-two now as, with eighty-seven percent of the game reporting in, we can now project: A Starblaydi victory! It's ING-ER-LUND again with a glorious free kick! Up and over the wall, down and into the net. Glorious! Four-Two! It's finished in Candelaria. Marquez. Whatever, as Qazox have deeeefeated... Kura-Pelland by two goals to one, naughty naughty, verrrry naughty.

"But, as time approaches for the usual dance rpm madness to appear, it's Full Time in the Starblaydia match. Four-two it finishes! Onwards to face Jeruselem in the Qualifiers! You're listening to Fused Radio..."

http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/7993/dailyturkjo0.png
Koseli Cumhuriyetler 3 – 3 Nethertopia
Comeback Turkish Style
The Turks showed true character as they overturned a half time 3-0 deficit in order to draw 3-3, a fair result against a team close to us in the standings.

The first half started terribly for the Turks as influential midfielder Serkan got sent off for violent conduct and had to be escorted off the field by his team mates who tried to calm him down. Then Nethertopian striker Erik Visser got a quick double in the 10th and 13th minute of the match. With the Turks defense arguing with each other, Jan Wildernis took full advantage powering past the Turks defense to slot home.

The Turks needed something miraculous and got it when Osman Calik, on his debut managed to score a long range shot in the 65th minute, this restarted the Turks and got them to press harder in attacking situations and this pressure told when Sinan Kose managed to power home from close range on 87 minutes and then when Gokhan got the equalizer in injury time and they could have gone on to win it, but Sabri squandered his chance.

Sorthern Northland 5 – 3 Koseli Cumhuriyetler
Turks Battered But Proud
The Turks went to our nemesis and did battle, however they came away on the end of a 5-3 defeat. The scoreline says defensive flaws, but it was really awesome attack that made this game a success, as the Turks gave a performance to be proud of in the first half.

The game started calmly but flared up as Lee Waywide managed to chip the ball over the retreating Orhan on 25 minutes. Then the Sortherners managed to gain another goal after no less than 15 successive passes, Waywide once again on the end of it. Giṓrgos Karyōtákīs had to off with an 'Injury' on 31 minutes when the Turks literally fought their way to the goal with Sinan on the end of the excessively physical play. Then in the 38th minute Sinan once again scored, this time from long range, inside his own half is how long range, then the Turks took the lead in the 45th minute from Oktays strike.

The Turks were on the end of another great Sorthern play when they passed through the large center back Arif to get their eqaulizer via a Lewis Graham goal and then went on to take the lead in the 75th minute when Gregory Pinoc got a goal from the edge of the box and Sorthern Northland Completed the scoring in the 88th minute Ham Hyi-san slotting past Orhan to finish the game off.

(from the 'Sports' section of 'The Bear Necessities'...)



FRIENDLY FIRE


Given a mid-way break in the series of qualifying matches for the World Cup, what do the Bear-Belles do?
Play even more Soccer, of course!

Yesterday saw the Belles on the field of 'Krakovsky Stadion', in the city of Moskva, facing the national team of group-mates 'Myedvedeya' in that nation's capital. This 'friendly' match was actually arranged before the groups were set, as a contest between the last two 'Baptism of Fire' winners, but was left on the schedule even when it was announced that these two teams would be playing a pair of qualifiers against each other anyway.
"This will give our girls a chance to find out what plaing in Medevedeya is like before they actually have to do so 'for real'," said manager Bob Smith, "so it would be worth the effort even if it wasn't a useful way of developing connections between two of the few countries around in which Ursines are socially and politically important."

So, how did it go?
Myedvedeya 3, Bears Armed 1, that is how it went. The Myedvedeyan team, called 'Grizzly Bears' although they don't really have any Ursine players as far as we can see, managed to regain some of the form that they'd shown in previous years and break the run of almost-continuous losses that has plagued their qualifying attempt. Evidently they'd got over whatever was holding them back during our previous match, because this time they definitely showed no reluctance to go on the offensive. However it was a very 'clean' game, presumably due to their cultural respect for Ursines and our own team's pleasure at finding another nation with that respect, and the only disciplinary warning was a single 'yellow card' to one of our players (Beorra o Barrdenn [72]). The stadium was packed to almost its maximum capacity of 220'000, curiosity about our team having apparently supplemented actual interest in football locally to bring along what I'm told was a remarkably large audience for a 'friendly' match... but this meant that our own supporters there, barely 2'000 in number, were so heavily outnumbered that their cries of enouragement to the Belles were drowned-out by the Myedvedyean supporters' cries of enthusiasm for their own team. Both team's managers took this opportunity to give some of their less experienced players to some exposure to international play.



Goals

Myedvedeya = 3: Vorotaev (17), Mavroupoulos-Stoliarenkovsky (64), Vorotaev (85).
(Possession = 61%; shots on goal = 8)

Bears Armed = 1: SunDaughter (42)
(Possession = 39%, shots on goal = 5)


(Full details inside, on page S-7.)

If there's one thing Brian Wilson and the Sarzonian national team never had to count on prior to playing Rymeria, it was the concept of space lag.

Despite their celestial name, the Stars faced just that when the traveled to the planet Rymeria to face the Rhinos at National Stadium in Rymeria City in a friendly at the midway point of World Cup qualifying. Given an opportunity to start, forward Reese Nichols scored twice to give the Stars an early 0:2 lead, but the Rhinos rallied to finish the match with a 2:2 draw.

"Fatigue caught up with us about the 60th minute," said manager Wilson, who didn't bring son Zack Wilson off the players' bench, citing a desire to give him the game off. "We aren't used to the idea of playing a match on another planet."

Brian Wilson said Zack Wilson will get the start against Dariusville in the away leg of their series.

"Oh, yeah definitely. Zack is our starter up top along with [Matt Lynch]," Brian Wilson said. "That said, I won't exactly hesitate to bring Reese in if we need some offense." He added that he would be "open" to play a three-forward lineup if necessary. Nichols said he appreciated the opportunity to start, but added he would continue to push hard in practice to ensure that he got more chances to play.

"I think Coach appreciates hard work," Nichols said. "I'm going to continue to provide it in training and good things will probably happen from there."

As for Rymeria itself, Brian Wilson said the planet was very similar to Earth, owing to the fact its population consists of expatriates from Earth. However, Wilson said he hoped he wouldn't have to book another flight on the RSV Hera, the spaceship that ferries people between Earth and Rymeria.

"Oh God, no," Brian Wilson said. "I've never dealt with space lag before, so I have no idea how long it takes to recover from that."

Most people in Rymeria had no idea why an unranked side from the planet Earth would travel to Rymeria City to play a friendly match during a break in World Cup qualification.

However, Rymeria Coach Chris Hannan knew why he wanted that unranked side to play at National Stadium. The unranked side was Sarzonia, a team that once tasted soccer's ultimate prize and held the world's number one ranking for four straight World Cups. Even though the Stars were now in the same spot rankings-wise that Rymeria is now, Hannan wanted to show his team where they could end up.

"They have a rich history of success," Hannan said of the Sarzonians. "They won the fourth Baptism of Fire Cup and the 10th Cup of Harmony, in addition to their World Cup trophy. They won the 12th Atlantian Oceania Cuo of Association Football title. They also won the first two Draggonnii Inviyatii championships. Sarzonia's club team the Woodstock Wild won an Atlantian Oceania Champions League title and a worldwide Champions League crown.

"That's where we want our team to get to," Hannan said. After watching Rymeria play to a 2-2 tie against Sarzonia, Hannan said his team had a long way to go to reach that goal.

"They're a surprisingly good team," Hannan said. "They played the world's top-ranked team tough at home and they won a key home game against the world's 11th ranked team. Plus, we were playing short-handed."

They played short-handed because Hannan expelled midfielder Marco Calderón from the team after he made disparaging remarks against homosexuals. Hannan declined to comment on the situation, but Calderón blasted Hannan.

"I have the right to an opinion," Calderón said. "I don't like their goalie."

"He has a right to an opinion," Hannan said. "The way he expresses that opinion is not what we need as a team."

THE ROCKET REPORT

EMPRESS MUST RECONSIDER

Loudon, Newmanistan- Oh boy, are you ready for this? It’s never been a secret, these national rivalries between Pocono City and Loudon. The Empress, from Pocono City of course, makes an absolutely shocking announcement that shakes the entire Empire and the fabric of the Empire. You mean to tell me, Your Highness, that we’re just supposed to forget about the World Cup. Forget about the Di Bradini glory, the Baptism of Fire championship, and our Cup of Harmony title? Football, this football, has given the Empire three of the four interregional championships that it has won. You can say all you want about other sports being more popular to the team and that this team has underachieved. It has now? Quick, someone tell me all the countries that can claim to winning a Di Bradini Cup, a Baptism of Fire, and a Cup of Harmony. We should be counting down Jeremy McAllister’s quest for 100, which is currently at 98. Wasn’t this supposed to be a celebratory occasion? Wouldn’t it be a tad ironic, if number 100 came in the match immediately after the Empress’ ridiculous statement.

Loudon has always been the anti-Pocono City. Not just in sports, but in Newmanistanian life. It is the place where a lot of people go to escape the bureaucracy that can even exist in an imperial style of government. You can’t say the Empress wasn’t popular here, but it was probably one of the more less-welcoming cities of her. It just so happens that the next match for the Rockets team, a match in which they will try to come together, and either try and convince the Empress that there needs to be a World Cup 45 for them, or if nothing else, convince foreign domestic clubs to sign them. No, the NPL isn’t going to fold. But in the words of Jeremy McAllister himself, “If this holds up, I am no longer playing in Newmanistan.” A pretty bold statement, but one echoed by every single player in the Rockets dressing room. Every single one. You think the NPL will be entertaining without these guys? There are also many good international players in the NPL. Casey Berber, Sakura Jo, Franceso Avola, all those people are heading home now if this continues. The Bird on Skates tradition is just going to end, now? There is time for the Empress to reconsider, and she must. There will tons of protests taking place at Loudon Stadium, and we would advise any Septentrionian traveling supporter to either join in, or not get anywhere near the protestors. Newmanistanian stadiums have always been secure. It’s not as if we are Daehanjeiguk or Koseli Cumheriyetler with fan violence, but if something’s going to break out, the recipe for it is happening right now. Security will be there and will try to do their thing, but unfortunately, many of the security guards share the same opinion as the protestors.

It is not too late for the Empress to re-consider. World Cup 45 signups haven’t even begun yet. Sure, she will always have to live this one down, but why can’t Newmanistan simply do a Lovisa for a few Cups if there are time constraints. This sitting back on your ranking thing works out quite well for many nations, and you don’t need to simply say we aren’t going to do this anymore. It has the look of the nation being a sore loser, something in which is not a reputation our proud nation deserves to have. The second half of qualifying begins, and maybe the team can rally around this, come together and make the second half challenge. That would be quite a story, wouldn’t it? Though probably a little too far fetched at this point. I feel for our players and for Brian Carson. But most of all I feel for all the little 7-year old Jeremy McAllister, Jr’s out there that just had their dream shot down.

http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t156/daehanjeiguk/Companies/samsung.png

To Distinguished Members of the Newmanistanian National Football Team:

We - the Esteemed Representatives of the Samseong Board of Entertainment, Office of Football Affairs - wish to offer to your organizations the opportunity to escape the sudden and likely reduction by your government with a guarantee. We are aware that a foreign company - as Samseong - may seem very intimidating, but we are here to help you in your time of greatest need. As your government has declared a likely discontinuation of your national football team, we are offering to the members of the national team - ranging from player to general manager - a sponsorship for your team, to allow your members to continue doing what is within your greatest capacity - to entertain your fans and play football. How? We can offer your clubs a great investment plan that provides ample funds for the establishment of a national team, as well as run the necessary bureaucratic mechanisms needed to run a well-functioning organization.

You may ask why Samseong is so interested in this situation. We are business entrepreneurs in the world market. Unfortunately, our international base of operations is limited, but domestically, we are one of the largest providers of electronics, electrical systems, data support, and any electronics-related industrial and commercial enterprise. Beyond this base of operations, Samseong also manages financial services, retail services, construction and heavy industries, and limited aeronautical systems construction support (radar, GPS, etc). So where does sponsoring football come into this mix? In addition to these services, Samseong is also a great sponsor of entertainment investments. The company also sponsors several domestic clubs - including a company-owned club FC Samseong - as well as two international clubs: Albrecht FC of the CMSC, and Rio Bonito of the Cafundelense First Division (we have a special relationship with this club, owing to the regulations within the host country). Furthermore, Samseong also sponsors the Series B Champions' Cup (SBCC). The full range of these investments has yet to be explored in depth, and if the distinguished members of the Newmanistanian National Team would welcome it, we welcome the opportunity to invest in your team, and your team's potential.

There have been numerous benefits for those organizations in which we have invested. The city of Albrecht has been almost thoroughly cleaned of the stains inflicted by the terrorist attacks upon the city some time ago (the May 12th incident); the city of Rio Bonito also has a number of remodeling projects, among these the primary concern has been the various "beautification" projects: introduce more parks, clean the river, and make the city more fruitful (literally and figuratively). There is no telling as to what Samseong can provide your organization. We have been very successful - so far - in improving the profitability of the teams in which we've invested - domestically and internationally. Our proudest moment was when Albrecht FC lifted the Globe Cup recently. Who knows? Maybe Newmanistan under Samseong sponsorship will lift the World Cup? Not to imply that Newmanistan is not without the qualities of a team that can compete int the World Cup, but having Samseong on the banner tends make those teams more "enlightened"; fewer worries about finances, fewer worries about fulfilling expectations.

Of course, as a national team, we won't require your jerseys to display the Samseong logo at all. Your management team - after an initial review - will be permitted to remain. Very little on the surface will change, except for your finances. We assume the risk of profits and losses. If your government decides to cease all operations by the national team, Samseong is ready to be there for you.

The final decision remains yours.

Most sincerely,

Samseong - Office of Football Affairs

To: Empress of Newmanistan
From: Queen Alexandra Katherine Dallas of Jeruselem

Hello from Jeruselem. I hold a nation like Newmanistan in high regard and it's sad to see such proud nation withdrawing from International football. I'm not appealing for you to review your decision because it's not my place to do so.

I am asking to allow members of your national team to consider a career in Jeruselem Premier League. This is an opportunity to get experience in an International scenario without sending players to official International cups. This will help your best Newmanistan players get experience and income from playing in Jeruselem to compensate for not playing in the World Cup and other cups like the Oxen Cup.

I'm not directly appealing to your players but asking you first so not to get the impression we are poaching your best for our benefit. We hold your players in high regard and want them for our domestic league.

If you want to talk about this matter further, I can send my mother who happens to the President of Jeruselem FA. We are keen to see your players in Jeruselem and help them get trained to get the skills to train up the next batch of great Newmanistan players for the future.

In Jeruselem, knowledge and wisdom is gain via life experience and it's true for most wise nations. If one loses experience, then the children of the future lose the gains from the present.

I'd write more but breastfeeding and using a laptop aren't activities who coexist. I'm the hands on kind of mother, like my mother and grandmother. Have a good day and think about my idea. I'm also babysitting my sister Jacinta's kids too. Dallas kids are bit of handful but then we can only blame ourselves for that.

Regards
Skate

World Cup 44 Qualification - Group 2
MD1: 2-0 vs [42] West Zirconia (@ Munhwa Football Stadium - 65,000, Hanseong)
MD2: 0-2 @ [???] Sarzonia (@ Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium - 88,920, Woodstock)
MD3: 5-0 vs [76] Dariusville (@ Potala Palace - 34,000, Lasa)
MD4: 2-0 @ [54] Liventia (@ Colonial Stadium, Orean)
MD5: 2-0 vs [1] Valanora (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium - 200,000, Hangyeong)
MD6: 1-0 @ [34] Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colosseum - 599,000, Atlantea)
MD7: 3-0 vs [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium - 80,000, Gwangju)
MQ: 1-4 @ Sorthern Northland (@ somewhere new and special, but I haven't a clue...)
MD8: @ [42] West Zirconia (@ Manchester Street - 85,000, Moorcroft)
MD9: vs [???] Sarzonia (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium - 50,000, Daebo)
MD10: @ [76] Dariusville (@ Humphra Ignhorium - 2,000, some forest in Dariusville)
MD11: vs [54] Liventia (@ Silk Road Stadium - 56,000, Seoan)
MD12: @ [1] Valanora (@ Hatire Memorial - 60,000, Capri)
MD13: vs [34] Taeshan (@ Tae-majt Park - 69,000, Pyeongyang)
MD14: @ [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ hopefully not in a beer bottle)



MBC World Cup Special Report
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Drunk Han Take the Field - Literally

BENINGRAD - Well, that's the last time the Han visit Sorthern Northland for a friendly. Oh, I don't mind all of the beer; in fact, if you're thinking about drinking for the first time, this is a great place to go. Just don't expect to do anything while you're here.

Unfortunately, the Imperial Team came into the country and immediately hit the pubs, as if they don't have enough to drink at home (of course, who wants to drink that stuff anyway?); and by the time they were through, they managed to rack a hefty bill and went to play the friendly match drunk. And the moment that the Han took the field, they started to pick out the turf. I think it began with a discussion about how someone could trip over the edge of the turf in the new stadium, but whatever the case, Kim Yongji literally grabbed a piece of the turf and tossed it at Jeong Jihun. In five minutes, they managed to tear their side of the pitch; add that price to the bill.

But by no means was this unfair; the Sortherners, who were the friendly and gay hosts, were also drunk. I'd put money on the lot that the referee was drunk too. But the Han don't normally play drunk, and unfortunately, the Sortherners did. You could tell when the referee brought the captains to the center circle, and the only person who passed out was Song Jongguk; the referee then pulled out a black marker and drew faux glasses on the poor chap, to wild laughs and cheers from the home crowd. What made matterrs worse was that the Han brought the wrong kits and played their home kits, which looks somewhat like the Sortherner home kit (hey, you try telling a stripe apart when you're drunk!). Regardless, the Han could tell who was friend from foe, because their faces were all red (as opposed to the Sortherners, whose faces were white like baby skin). Oh, the starting kick-off was in the wrong direction; I'm still not sure how they did that. But once they started it right, the Han were too dazed to care about football. Most of them ran off the pitch and started playing cards with the Sortherner bench. Those who stayed behind were left with an unusually focused Sorthern offense, who made some spectacular plays. By halftime, the Sortherners were up by 4 goals. Understandably, the Han started to sober up and were playing genuine drunk football (as opposed to whatever the %$#^ they were playing before then), and as the game closed, they managed a goal. Surprisingly, the whole crowd stood up and started to celebrate (as in, the stadium, the players, and the referee); for the last 16 minutes of the match, the whole stadium was consumed with people singing some songs that I still have no clue what they mean or in what language; personally, I think everyone else was blabbering, because the only thing it sounded like was noise (of course, I was 14 bottles of beer done by that time).

Hence, you got a 4-1 drubbing at the hands of a team with World Cup Qualification prospects in doubt (of course, from their point of view, that's perfect for their Cup of Harmony qualification prospects). But I guess the brilliant things was that everyone was to drunk to care - except Ioshido, who was as a sober as a cup of water in the desert. He reportedly left the stadium after the third Sorthern goal, presumably to wait out the remainder of the match in his hotel room. Of course, in the post-match celebrations, you could spot Ioshido in the bar with the rest of the team, seemingly forgetting the whole experience. And it's only fortunate that the Han weren't playing for points, because a 4-1 drubbing would have been catastrophic, let alone disappointing.

And I'd love to say more, but when a match isn't on the line, who cares? Anyway, I think Sorthern Northland makes a great vacation getaway, if beer is on your palette. I should be writing about how great the country is rather than how we lost the match (and you already know that). Stay around in the country for the nightlife; there aren't too many attractive people, but when you're drunk, who cares? Oh, and practice safety too; you'll never know where you will end up.


=== === ===

It went in.

Pak didn't know how, but it went in. He wasn't even certain why it went in. His last thought was about a chip pass to Kim Shinyok, who was looking at the goal just as dumbfounded as anyone else. But that was only for a very short moment, because in the next moment, Pak was buried on the ground by his teammates, some crying, some cheering. All the while, he tried to maintain focus; they were now tied 3-3. One more goal!

After the players got up and off Pak, they all returned to the starting line, waiting for the Pearls to kick off. Just one more goal. The whistle blew again, and the kick off went straight back to defense. Pak waved his hands in the air, urging the team to move forward. "One more goal!" he yelled. He himself ran up to the center line, while the midfield went in pursuit of the ball. Kim Shinyok was busily harassing the defenders, while the Pearls continued to play possession. Without #10, there wasn't anyone left on their team with significant quality to contest them; that they were down one man was not lost upon them either. They needed to guard against another goal, and unfortunately, that meant holding the ball, rather than playing the ball. For Pak, this was an opportunity for success and frustration all in the same breath. If they managed to catch the ball, they would be able to get a quick shot on goal from that sort of range; of course, if they didn't catch the ball, they'd be stuck chasing a bunch of players hiding the ball until the game ended. That was hardly the sort of game that Pak wanted to play.

Pak checked his watch. 7 minutes.

Finally, Kim managed to pry the ball away from one of the defenders. He passed back to Shin Hongdo. A great offensive machine was moving into form, and Pak saw himself moving more and more into the offensive positions. Shin passed up to Wang on the left flank; with a good vantage, Wang sent the ball in the air into the box. While it should have been Kim Shinyok heading the ball into the net, the goalkeeper managed jump out at the right moment and punched the ball out. Shin collected the ball in midfield and tied another pass out to Yim on the right flank. He crossed it in, to the same effect.

Pak anxiously checked his watch again. 6 minutes.

The Pearls had the ball once more, and they were playing keep-away. Kim was now becoming more and more visibly tired. Perhaps he should have done the substitution when he had the chance, because most of the team was getting tired. His legs were starting to burn every time he ran, and doubtless, he knew that the team was going to start giving up at any moment. But they needed just one more goal! That would be enough to get them moving at least.

5 minutes - the Pearls were playing more aggressively, sending the ball farther up the field, away from their goal. Pak found that he was suddenly too far ahead and started to pull back. But as he returned to his proper position, he reflected on his theory of zone defense. Perhaps there was a place for that, but was now a good time? After all, they needed to get the ball back more than they needed cover any particular zone. What worth was zone defense if they continued to wait for the ball to come to them?

He thought over it for just a moment, but that moment was enough to convince - he was going to chase the ball until he got it. He slowly re-approached the center of the field until he felt that he was in range. 4 minutes, he checked his watch. The opportunity never did come for him though, as Kim managed to steal away the ball despite his exhaustion. And despite his exhaustion, he turned the ball deftly to Yim, who rushed down once more. But rather than send the ball immediately, he held it off to the side, waiting for his teammates to get into the box. Yim held on as long as he could before sending the ball into the box. Of course, he was a bit tired, and the ball fell a bit behind the line. Shin, taking the ball at first opportunity, struck the ball goal-ward. It looked to be heading inside, but a stray deflection off a defender sent the ball spiraling out for a corner kick. Pak gave a loud whistle, a signal that everyone (except Yang and No) was to get somewhere within 4 paces of the box. Yim quickly fetched the ball while the Thunder set up in the box for the corner kick.

The atmosphere was dreadfully tense inside the box. Nearly every person with a watch was looking at it every five seconds, counting the seconds as they came, each for his own reason. Pak was counting 3 minutes until the match ended. And then Yim stood ready for the cross once more; the players in the box were scrambling all over the place, to get a good cover or conversely to cover a good player. Kim Shinyok was particularly covered by at least five players, leaving a number of the Thunder open. But it all hinged on Yim's delivery.

Delivered to the box - straight to the keeper, who pounced on the ball like a cat on a ball of yarn (except that the goalkeeper didn't proceed to play with the ball like a ball of yarn... hmm, not as good an analogy as you'd expect, not that Pak was thinking about that at the time...). The Thunder quickly cleared the box as the goalkeeper slowly unfurled the ball from his grip, placing it neatly at his feet. Pak glanced at his watch again - 2 minutes. This game was yet to end with a draw if the game continued at this pace. Kim Shinyok raced up to challenge the goalkeeper. The goalkeeper, naturally, passed the ball away to another player, but Wang Suncheol took the advantage and pressed him immediately. The ball turned loose and went out of bounds. Pak immediately flung his arm out, but the linesman already called it - Pearls' ball.

More time wasting, and Pak suddenly found himself extremely anxious. Time was running out, and the Pearls were becoming very efficient at keeping the ball away from their own net. They spent as much time as they could afford (without getting a card for delaying the game), and suddenly, Pak found himself counting the seconds just ass preciously as he had been counting the minutes previously. Less then two minutes of regulation, and the the referee's good graces (whatever there was of that...). The moment the ball came into play, Pak rushed up to challenge the player. Even he found his sudden burst of energy surprising. He stole away the ball with little effort and began almost instinctively running up to goal, with his teammates straggling behind him. It was a quick 10 second gallop down the field, and before long, he was facing tthe goalkeeper one on one. He wanted to pass to a teammate; but Kim Shinyok was still a while away, and by that time, the defenders would be upon him. Another shot on goal? Well, he'd already made one goal that day. He might as well try again.

He went for goal, but the crowd cheered as the ball flew well over and well away from the net. Pak sighed in frustration. One more chance maybe...

The whistle then blew for full time. Pak looked at his watch, thinking that he still had a few minutes of time left, but apparently, he had miscalculated the amount of time they had spent playing. Only retrospectively he realized that the referee had given the Thunder an extra three minutes to get the winning goal; probably explains why the players were all looking at their watches three minutes ago... Of course, now that the match was a 3-3 draw, Pak was wondering what Jang would say about not winning and what it meant for the future of the Daejeon Great Thunder Football Club. He shuddered as he thought that this might be his last game.

The hanger was incredibly busy as engineers raced to and fro between the Beast Machines. A lot of work was needed after being frozen solid by Goliath 3; lots of connections had been cut out, there were punctures in various places, and some of the electronics had been rendered useless. It was a miracle they were able to break free and pull off the Thunder of Judgment.

With no time to spare and few materials to work with, von Steuben had been pressed into emergency duty to help direct the crews. After outlining plans for the other machines, he came at last to Daniel's Liger. The prince was waiting with a clipboard in hand. "I want to try something," he said simply.

"Ze ess een ze hole?" asked von Steuben, taking a look. His eyes wandered down the plans scribbled on the top page.

"Something like that," Daniel replied. "We've faced three elemental demons. I'm pretty sure we all know what's waiting for us if we attack them head on."

"Und eet vill, viss all probability, be ze strrrr~rrongest," von Steuben said without missing a beat. "I oonderstand." He flipped through the pages and looked up with a knowing smile. "You read my paper."

"The application of magnetic fields for ion containment," Daniel answered. "You really are a jack of all trades. We can modify the laser and pull the same power to create this. Our problem is that we haven't been able to defend well against enemy attacks. This should give us that added edge, if we can do it."

"I vill meck sure zat ve do!" von Steuben declared. "Vill you aseest me, your highness?"

Daniel saluted. "Yes, sir!" he replied. "Tell me where we start..."

**********

Just a few hours left until he could make his move. Brandenstein had finished briefing the new Lancer pilots and was on his way back to his quarters. There were some last minute arrangements that needed to be made. All of the parts were coming together, and if there was a fourth elemental beast as expected, it just remained for him to execute his part of the plan.

He caught an engineer running down the hallway toward the hanger. "Oh, excuse me, son, I have a favor to ask of you," he said, pulling the engineer, easily 15 to 20 years his junior, aside.

"Yes sir, colonel, what can I help you with?" the engineer replied with a salute.

"The data recorder we loaded on the Mammoth before the trials were scheduled," Brandenstein began, "do you think you can extract it from the unit and bring it to me? I want to run an analysis before the mission to see if there's anything we can use to fight them."

"Excellent idea, sir!" the engineer replied. "Is there anyone I should notify?"

"I don't believe that will be necessary, but if anyone asks, just tell them it's my way of helping the mission," Brandenstein answered. He handed the engineer a data disk. "The location of the box within the Mammoth's core is described on here. It's a little larger than a car battery and should be marked."

"I'll make this the first thing I do," said the engineer. "Give me twenty minutes and I'll have it right out to you."

Brandenstein thanked him and retired to his quarters. Now he had to fix things with the enemy. He made sure his door was locked and went over to his console to contact Nordhausen. Stephen greeted him upon connection and, after in moments, he was connected to Boldozaa. "I trust you believe in me after the results of the last operation?" he asked.

"Hmph, I suppose even you humans get something right now and again," Boldozaa snorted, which prompted Brandenstein to chuckle. "So what is it you want now? Surely you don't mean to just taunt me."

"Of course not," Brandenstein replied. "I told you, I'm on your side. And when I see you in a bind, I'm driven to help you. Now, you won't admit it, but you're not at anywhere near your full power. You can only summon one elemental beast at a time, and your minions don't generate at anywhere near the rate you need to launch your grand invasion."

"Quite observant," Boldozaa said.

"To get to the point, the reason why you've been forced to hold back is because of the legendary hero's spirit energy," Brandenstein continued, folding his arms. "As long as it remains present in this world, it will suppress your power. We have obtained the physical manifestation of that power, but lack the means to destroy it. Stephen, show him."

Stephen complied, reaching for a glass jar which contained the crystal shards which Brandenstein had sent. There wasn't much there, but as it came close to Stephen's jury-rigged communicator, the picture started to go fuzzy as the demon's remains reacted to the material. He pulled it back and the picture returned to clear. "Then what do you propose to do?"

"Just bringing these crystals into close contact will wipe our your lesser minions, but you're strong enough to resist their natural power," Brandenstein said. "The same incantations used by the legendary hero would be necessary for you to fall prey. Therefore, if I were to just bring them to you... you would be able to destroy them before they can be used again." His eyes narrowed. "That man would be gone for good, and you'll be the final victor after all."

Boldozaa smiled. "I still don't understand you, but if you will provide this charity, I will gladly accept!" he said.

"The humans will attack in six hours. I will use the confusion to slip away while they fight and bring them to you," Brandenstein said. "Once that is done, we can discuss plans for the future."

"Of course, of course," Boldozaa replied. The fool, does he seriously think I'll share my power with him?!

"I look forward to our meeting, then," Brandenstein replied. "Stephen, cut the channel." Once that was done, he sat back in his chair and checked his watch. The engineer should arrive with his black box any minute now. "There are no changes to the plan," he said. "Stephen, will you be able to send those shards to me before the operation begins?"

"Absolutely," Stephen replied. He turned off his console and took the jar in hand. I'm almost certain I know what you're planning, but I'm not sure how you'll do it... once I see the mission details, I'll unravel this mystery!

(Somewhere in Loudon, players gather)

McAllister: So what the hell are we supposed to do, what am I supposed to say to my son. All of us with kids, I’d like to take the Empress and give her a piece of my mind.

Prescott: Among other things.

Carson: This is last thing we needed. First we get robbed by the refs against Miroxia, and now this. I don’t know Jeremy, there’s something on the table right now that’s pretty interesting.

McAllister: What’s that?

Carson: Samseong, the well known company from Daehanjeiguk wishes to sponsor us.

Brooker: How’s that going to work?

Prescott: They sponsor and have a strong relationship with one of the teams in Cafundeu, they are an excellent sponsor for the sport.

Parnett: Yeah, they do in Candelaria And Marquez too with our rivals Albrecht FC. Don’t forget the SBCC.

Carson: Well basically Samseong will allow us to keep playing.

McAllister: Well then sign up now!

Parnett: There’s got to be a catch.

Carson: There doesn’t appear to be a catch, really. They seem very willing to do this. They will provide us the funding that we need to continue on without the Empress’ support. Enjoying any profit or suffering any loss that comes with it. I think it would be in our best interest to do this.

McAllister: Absolutely!

Parnett: Do we still play our games at home?

Carson: Yes, nothing changes really, except for we are not getting any imperial funding. And wouldn’t it be nice to have some success under their sponsorship and make the Empress regret the move.

Brooker: What if she strongly objects?

Carson: I guess she could play hardball with us, but a lot of us are going to play overseas now anyway I think and maybe move our families, so what she really could do about it would be limited, and maybe in the long run, it would make her reconsider things.

McAllister: Guys, it seems like a longshot, but, wouldn’t it be sweet if we could run the table here in the second half?

Parnett: Absolutely, we can get it done.

Carson: Well we should be doing whatever it takes. Everyone gather around. You all heard about the Samseong proposal.

(Players nod)

Carson: I want to see a show of hands right now. First, is there anyone who thinks that we should not do this?

(No hands raise)

Carson: Very well. Now, who feels that we should accept this offer?

(All hands rise)

Carson: Excellent, we will inform Samseong right away. There will be a World Cup 45 for us whether the Empress wants us there or not. Even if we have to do a Lovisa in it!

McAllister: Excellent! So, coach, a lot of us players are going to sign elsewhere. What about you?

Carson: I didn’t think I would ever even ponder coaching anywhere else but Pocono City. But I can’t coach in Pocono City after this, not right in the Empress’ domain. I will probably, as weird as it may seem, look for a domestic job in another country.

McAllister: Well, good luck.

Carson: Thanks Jeremy, man, we deserved so much better then this.

McAllister: Yeah, well I have to go shoot this commercial now.

Carson: Good Luck.

* * * * * * *

(Commercial)

“Greetings, I’m Eddie Chapman, the head coach of the Loudon Leopards, and with me is Jeremy McAllister. In the wake of the recent announcement by the Empress, protests have been running wild throughout the city of Loudon, and across the country, but here in Loudon things have been especially bad........”

(McAllister): “We would like to remind all of our fans that protests are to remain peaceful, and if they become violent, you will be arrested and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.......”

(Chapman): “If we are to show the Empire that the city of Loudon is the greatest city in the nation, then we are too act civilly. No one is happy with this announcement by the Empress, and we all demand a retract. But breaking windows of innocent shop owners who also probably agree with your thoughts, is not the answer. Nor is setting things on fire, including police cars. Many law enforcement officials are also saddened by this news and share your thoughts, and are simply doing their job.......”

(McAllister): “On the field, we have an important match with Septentrionia. None of us are giving up, and we ask for you to be supporting us on the pitch as loudly as you ever have. There is no need for any violence in the stands as it is highly doubtful that anyone who supports the announcement by the Empress will be in attendance........”

(Chapman): “If there are any Septentrionians in attendance, we would advise you of the situation in which you will be coming into at Loudon Stadium. We ask for all Newmanistanian fans to treat the Septentrionian fans with respect, as one of the great things about international support is the multicultural aspect. Allow them to root for their country. And to them, we advise you to understand the sensitive matter of the protest, and not to engage protestors in any such, “you guys suck” type trash talk, or else we cannot continue to guarantee your safety.......”

(McAllister): “If we remember these simple guidelines then all should pass without any incident. Enjoy the game!”

The Monarch and the Butterfly

The old pub's tables and counters were mostly empty, as most folk didn't come in until around six, and it was barely three in the afternoon. Yet there in the middle of the establishment sat a duo already on their third bottle of wine, and making far too much racket as far as the barkeep was concerned. Football was the topic, as it usually was with everybody who came through those doors. Football, football, and more football. The entire city, heck, the entire country was mad with football fever from everything that the old man could tell, but these two were being loud about it. Bad enough was it that they looked the kind that were not going to be leaving him a tip, but then to be so noisy as to make the other few guests uncomfortable was just bad form.

"And you think that after already drawing the Zirconians, here in Valanora, and losing to the Han, Anárion would of had the side prepared for those new boys. With their win over the Han as well being a indicator that they are ones to cause upsets you know! Yet are they ready? Not at all, and we drop another two points against a side we should have walloped four to nil by all rights!" was the latest outcry from the lighter of the pair.

"Aye, to be in second spot at halfway through the qualifiers is not worrisome, except for the fact that we are four points out of the top, and dropped points at home and against the lowest seed! "A touch of destiny" they said? I think it is more a touch of utter luck that he inhierted great sides that were able to completely dominate the oppisition without the need of proper tactics from their manager. I'd rather have ol' Inaki back and running the lads till their feet bleed than see the side being disgraced the way it is with Orophin in charge."

Both men nodded their head and poured the remains of their bottle of wine into their glasses. The barkeep gave them a look that all but told them that it would not be in their best interests to order another bottle. Unshaken, the second man continued on.

"Come to think of it, the entire VFA seems a tad off of the normal state of things, and perhaps even a little corrupt, or at least not well managed. What, with thier President being found guilty of treason against the Commonwealth, and then sentaced to a fate worse than death. Yet, when they went to aprehend her, she was gone, as well as all traces of her living in the flat that was registered to her. Very strange days are among us, and yet the Raynors continue to not take an active interest in the going ons of the VFA. I mean, if anyone could right the mess of the organization, it would be Tobias wouldn't it? Look at all what he did for us during the Tides of Darkness, at what his entire family has done for the country throughout its' history."

"Hey, that's not a bad idea Imlassion. Tobias would be the perfect elf for the job. I say we form a petition and get him nominated for the upcoming elections!"

"There is just one problem here Rainnibdas, in order to be nominated, you have had to be a working member of the Association for at least five years. As far as I know, Tobias has not been."

"Oh, how quickly you have forgotten your history my friend. You forget the clause that makes that stipulation void, if you have over ten senior international caps, which our good Tobias' has and then some. Surely you didn't forget when he played striker for the national team, ahead of Kiso?!"

"By Elune, I had! That's it then, Tobias for President of the VFA!!! Let's go get those one thousand signatures... after we finish our wine though!"

The New Cleethorpes Enquirer
Surprise victory vaults Quodites to fourth
Preparations for first rematch underway

The national side ended the first half of qualifying games for World Cup 44 on a surprise upbeat note, beating a strong Nethertopian side 3-1 at home to move up to a shock fourth position in Group 9. While international press attention is currently subsumed by the diva-ish tendencies of the Newmanistani Empress, the domestic press, which had greated Quintessence of Dust's return to international football with only lukewarm support, is now afire with rumour, speculation and hype.

The Quodites came out onto the pitch at the Eli F. Baker Memorial Stardium fielding a below par side, with central defenders Charles Williams and Michel Marberger both suspended and striker Roger Longhorn sitting out the game after a scan of his left knee revealed a possible tear of - well, the doctors aren't really sure what, but whatever it is it's torn. And the expected crowd was some 5,000 short, after severe disruption to rail services caused by overnight ice. Things got even worse as captain Theo Littlefellow picked up a booking and set up a Frans Oud free kick that curled just wide of the goal inside five minutes.

The Falcons, playing in their distinctive slashed kit, had the run of play for the first twenty minutes. A second booking, with old hand David Yellowback caught shoving in the box while defending a corner, did not help matters, and both fullbacks were kept busy trying to cover the Nethertopian wing formation while on yellow cards. A seemingly inevitable goal came after 23 minutes, when the Falcons won their fourth corner. The Quodites have always struggled with height - not one of their back line was over 5' 10" - and Jerome de Wit barely had to jump at the back post to find the ball with a header that thumped into the back of the net.

By half time, Quintessence of Dust had rallied, though still could not muster a goal. They relied heavily on Peter Rogers, who created some attacking chances and won a booking for captain Thomas Schaak, and on 42 minutes he seemed destined to score when a 1-2 with Benvolio Azzinio, starting for Longhorn, found him in space, but he fired straight into the flailing van Dalen's legs, and was unable to collect the ricochet.

For the entire second half, Quintessence of Dust were on top, though they got off to a good start largely thanks to a rather freakish goal from Dino Achten, who put in another strong performance at defensive midfield. Lurking at the back of the penalty box, he was found in space by Frederic Renard's corner, only to fluff the volley into the ground. It proceeded to bounce over a row of defenders and past a bemused van Dalen into the goal. Shortly afterwards, another corner almost produced another goal: Littlefellow whipped a curling ball to Yellowback at the back post, but he took two touches to control it, and ended up crashing his shot into van Houten tot Schaagen's legs.

Dennis Young made no mistake with the second goal that gave Quintessence of Dust the lead and made the stadium roar load enough to fool anyone that it was at full capacity. He played behind Azzinio for most of the match, and on the hour mark collected a long ball from Yellowback. With options left and right, he instead dummied inside and set off on a sharp break that caught the defence floundering. Running into space, he didn't bother waiting to narrow the angle, instead hammering in the goal from twenty yards.

Late on, Frederic Renard served up a brilliant free kick into the top left of the Nethertopian goal, only for it to be discounted for interference with the goalkeeper by substitute Wilhelm Biber. But he redeemed himself shortly thereafter, setting up Jessica Jensen, whose third goal of the tournament makes her the team's highest scorer. Biber ran past Renard, who had held off two defenders to squeeze through a pass, and smacked a hearty cross in, which Jensen caught with a lunging left foot, hoofing it into the top of the net.

Speaking afterwards, coach Jeremy Dixon said he was "proud" of the team for taking 10 points from their last 4 games, but was aware that going into the break, they would return to face stiffer challenges. Foremost among those will be their home game against The Holy Empire, which will be played on North Island at the Sam-is-That? Stadium, the first international sporting fixture to be hosted in the Postcolonial States. Their previous meeting saw a team in disarray slaughtered 5-0.

Dixon confirmed that special preparations were underway to counteract the 'oneirological' Frosticans: all players have been equipped with special bobble hats lined with aluminium foil. Commenting anonymously, one player speculated, "Is this one of those things where they give us some useless tat and say it will help, and afterwards reveal that it was all a ruse? And that we did it all through willpower alone? Bullshit?"

http://img229.imageshack.us/img229/9040/foilhatxw9.jpg
A prototype of the Psychic Defender the team will be wearing

Other precautions include:
- lining the pitch with couches on which players can receive emergency counselling;
- removing all advertising hoarding and instead posting motivational slogans;
- replacing the pre-match playing of the national anthem with Quintessenticana ballads to remind the players of home comforts;
- offering free tickets to any certified psychoanalyst, psychotherapist, psychiatrist, and clinical psychologist, on condition that they offer their expertise if needed;
- offering discounted tickets to the admittedly small number of Orthodox Christians within Quintessence of Dust (only 100 or so are believed to have taken up the offer);
- arranging a half-time game of rugby sevens between the winners of the national Under-11 schools trophy and a team composed of national sporting mascots - this one isn't a tactic, it's just funny.

Jeruselem Government News

Ryan buys a home in Jeruselem

Qazian Ryan Greenly after years of renting has bought his own place in Jeruselem. He bought a nice seaside home with a view of ocean as well as a semi-decent garden for morning relaxation. The neighbourhood he selected was full of Qazians, Ariddians, and Septentrionians as well as French speaking Jeruselemites. Matilda Dallas, granddaughter of Dazza Dallas and Top Gear Jeruselem host, lives about two blocks away. The Sallads live in the area as well except Jacinta Sallad who lives in a Jewish neighbour nearby.

During the break, Ryan and Ricci were seen moving trucks of stuff into their new home. Former and retired World Cup coach Monique Alexander, who Ryan replaced, was seen inspecting the property. The real estate agent who sold Ryan his new place said
"It's a nice place! It's a very French and quiet part of Jeruselem. There's some nice Frenchy shops nearby and crime is pretty low here. The houses here are old fashioned sort of country style places and good for big families. Actually, the Dallas family rented this place for a while but it got too small for them. There's a good local school and decent shopping complex here which is owned by Dallas family actually. This area is most Christians but Ryan isn't Christian but I think his poledancer girlfriend is Catholic. There's a quaint church here. The streets are safe here apart from kids and their runaway dogs or kids speeding on bikes. Scooters are popular around here too. Most folks aren't overly rich but they are comfortable - save for the few with Ferraris."

Meanwhile most of the team were hard at training for the big game against the Purple Menace, except for Kaz who can't play due to broken finger which doesn't help goalkeepers. Princess Marie seemed to have recovered from her bug but looked a bit thinner for the experience. Joanne Sloan declared she was ready for battle but isn't a certain starter due to lack of fitness.

Oksana Ferris will not be playing in Starblaydia as she has school exams to attend to. Her mother, the Assistant Coach, Scarlett Ferris will be travelling leaving her daughter at home with the father.

TIME FOR HOME GAMES

The first half of the World Cup qualification phase is over, and now the Secristan Department of Sports hopes to earn a profit. It wasn’t a great first half at all, with draws in the first four matches, and the highlight of the first half being your team playing a match outside of the planet. That was a pretty entertaining game, we must say, but it’s time to pick things up now. When you consider the fact that you generally have a better chance of success at home then you do on the road, the question that we must ask was if our first half was good enough for us to sneak our way back into contention here. Secristan is 1-4-2, that’s seven points and a three way tie for fourth. That’s six points behind two nations, which include a newbie, that are tied for second. A second half record of 4-1-2 is certainly a reasonable mark to use as an example, and you might even be able to say 4-2-1 or 5-1-1. But we will be conservative and say, 4-1-2 as Secristan closes out the second half where with six home games in their final seven games. That would leave the Millionaires at 5-5-4, or 20 points. Does 20 points get you into the World Cup in this group? It just might with the way the group is looking right now. Don’t go non-believing yet, fans. There may be a little magic here in store from our good ol’ Millionaires. Yes, they can make it happen. Group 5 isn’t done yet, no way. Not with this team having the favorable second half schedule that we have. It all started with that away friendly win in Krytenia.

So here we go, time to make money. Katie Simpson, our SDOS representative reminds the fans of everything that we just said, “The first half was about survival, and we did that. We had an extremely difficult first half of our schedule with six of our first seven games all being on the road, and yet we have come out of it with only two losses. The four draws will come in handy now as we get to play on the comfort of our own pitch and not have to worry about travel, enjoying the benefit of this second half as we increase our win total and make the move to the top and qualify for this World Cup. I hope that all of our fans are a part of every step along this way to what could be a glorious World Cup Qualifying effort for the country, and they buy the tickets to come out to our games or purchase the pay-per-view matches in their entirety, because you will want to be able to say that you hung with this team when the rest of the world is wondering where we came from when the qualifying is over with and we are in the top three.” Good job, Katie, she’s always been good at hyping things up, hasn’t she? But this is not hype, this is a very reasonable and realistic goal that we are setting here. Reality will set in for Peisandros, a team that we got a big win against on the road, and they will be passed by someone. Will it be Green Wombat or Terreiro de Ogum? Or will it be the team with six home games in their final seven matchdays. While another One Big Island nation wonders about their future in the World Cup, perhaps we could add to their frustration, and be the first to carry the OBI flag into the Proper?

And that's your MD8 cut-off.

http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/7993/dailyturkjo0.png
Koseli Cumhuriyetler 2 Wentland 2
National Traitor Execution Day Game Fight Back


On a day of mass punishment of national traitors, the Turks pulled off another massive fight back to earn an essential point, due to a performance to remember from the defense. Though the two goals conceded were penalties and subsequently we had two players sent off in the 10th and 25th minute, Arif and Isan falling foul of the referee early on, but the makeshift defense managed to cope very well with the pressure and younger players such as Emre and Kadir have proven their worth to the nation with many vital interceptions.

The second half was just as entertaining the Wentlander defender getting sent off for a professional foul on Murat and then a controversial penalty was saved by Orhan, which sparked the comeback when a long ball bounced favorably for Sinan who fired home in the 78th minute, then Serkan connected impressively with Sabri's cross to equalize in the 88th minute, while it wasn't the win the team needed it was certainly a valuable point against a team far higher in the rankings than us.

At the training facility near Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium, Woodstock

Brian Wilson was sitting in his office, leaning back into his plush leather chair and poring over the various comments from foreign prognosticators about the World Cup at the midway point of qualifying.

He noticed the words from Daehanjeiguk's media outlets that proclaimed Sarzonia a team to be reckoned with and chuckled slightly. He looked up to see his octogenarian father sitting in the chair across from his desk.

"Daehanjeiguk is saying that as former world champions, we're a team to be taken seriously," Brian Wilson said. "Obviously, our being an unranked side and an unknown quantity after being away from World Cup football for 13 cups doesn't matter much in their estimation."

Never one short of humour, Dave Wilson also chuckled.

"You'd think they were somewhat obsessed with the Stars, wouldn't you?"

"I'll say. After Matchday Two, they haven't stopped talking about that match." That match, of course, was Sarzonia somehow summoning the ghosts of the past and defeating the world's 11th ranked side in front of a rapturous sold out crowd at Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium in Woodstock. Dave Wilson smiled at the reference. After all, the stadium, named after the first Sarzonian national team manager, called coach at the time, had seen many highlights during Sarzonia's original qualifying runs.

Those were all a distant memory to a nation that only now was coming out of the morass created by a deep economic recession that reached its nadir in 2006. They were all but forgotten as a nation paid its final respects to its founding father. But it seemed the world hadn't forgotten when Sarzonia was once one of the world's foremost football powers.

"You've got a big match against Dariusville, I understand," Dave Wilson said. "Must be interesting facing a bunch of sentient trees."

"It is," Brian said. "We're going to have to use our speed to our advantage. And be far more patient with the ball than we were the first time we played them."

"If you don't mind my giving you a little fatherly advice," Dave Wilson said, almost using a questioning tone as if he were hestitant to step on his son's toes. He was aware that Brian Wilson was now the national team's manager and that his days of setting starting 11s and prowling the sidelines had long since passed.

"What's that?"

"Find a way to get Reese Nichols into the starting 11," he said. "He works extremely well with Matt Lynch. If you have to bring Zachary off the players' bench in the second half, do that."

"Dad, nearly everyone has said Zack should be the starter. I wouldn't have started him if it weren't all but unanimous. I'm not trying to be accused of nepotism. And Zachary has played well. He's earned his spot in the starting 11."

"I know, but he still hasn't developed the chemistry with Lynch that Nichols developed. I'm just telling you what I see. Of course, it's your team now. I'm just making a suggestion."

"Right." Brian Wilson heard his telephone ring and picked it up.

"Brian."

"Uh, coach?"

Brian Wilson sat straight up. It was the trainer, P.J. Harmon.

"What's wrong P.J.?"

"It's Zack. He suffered a torn ACL."

"Fuck! How?!"

"He slipped on the turf during a training drill. Troutie made him run a drill again after he got something wrong and his right knee just gave out."

After a few more minutes discussing the particulars, Brian Wilson hung up the phone.

"Looks like our decision's made for us," he said, much of the fire gone from his voice. "Zachary's suffered a torn ACL."

Dave Wilson's eyes widened for the first time in a long time. He shook his head sadly. Both men then stood up and headed for Woodstock General Hospital, where Zachary was being seen by doctors. He would have surgery and definitely would miss the rest of World Cup qualifying.

As for the first match of the return legs of World Cup qualifying in Group 2, the newly installed starter at forward combined perfectly with the other stalwart starter Lynch as both Nichols and Lynch scored a goal and assisted on each other's tally. Sarzonia defeated Dariusville 0:2, giving Brian Wilson's charges their first away win of World Cup qualifying.

More important to the 2,000 Stars supporters who made the trip, it thrust their side into qualifying position at the eight match mark. They evened their overall mark to 3-2-3 with 11 points. However, after the match, Brian Wilson addressed the team.

"Remember, lads, Daehanjeiguk will be seeking revenge after we won the match at Marshall," he said. "They've been talking about us ever since then. They consider us a serious threat to qualify.

"We have to be ready to take their best shot. They're going to be chuffed about hosting us in the return leg. We can't afford to become complacent."

After that, he finally smiled.

"You have tonight off to celebrate. I'll see you at noon tomorrow when we start reviewing this match against Dariusville. The next day, we'll start going over game film of Daehanjeiguk."

The team cheered the news that they could sleep in a bit. As for that night, it was out to the pubs to celebrate their win over Dariusville. They might not finish World Cup XLIV as qualifiers for the finals proper, but they at least have shown flashes of what it once meant to be a Star.

REF BLAMED FOR LOSS

No one ever likes to resort to referee bashing after a loss, but this official from Wentland clearly had something against us. It began in the 14th minute when Green Wombat was awarded a penalty after Jake Wesley cleanly tackled Dale Henke in the box. Cleanly, to most soccer fans, but not this referee who felt that Wesley needed to punished for believing that soccer is a physical game. Wesley was shown a red card on the spot, and Henke awarded the penalty. The shot sails wide to the left goal post when the referee does the unthinkable. A do-over? What?! Is this kindergarten soccer? We are still awaiting some kind of explanation as to why this do-over was necessary and even the Green Wombat coach had that perplexed look on his face. Something about the way the team was lined up or something. Well on the do-over, of course Henke makes the shot to give the Wombats the one-goal lead. Playing a man down, the Millionaires tried to get offense going, and in the 33rd minute, a great play executed between Kevin Walker and James Rogan was whistled for offsides when it was clearly onside. In the 38th, the same thing. Going to the second half now, the Wombats got another break in the 53rd minute when the Millionaires were given another red card. Chris Coventry, the young 16-year old sensation, had some words with the official campaigning for a foul, and apparently in the referee’s mind, Coventry isn’t allowed to say a word to him, and had the red displayed. Down two men now, it’s really quite amazing that Green Wombat did not score again, but it would be even more amazing if this referee makes it out of the country alive.

After the game, a pissed off head coach Paul Nolan had this to say about the officiating: “He never even gave me an explanation for why Henke needed to have a do-over for his missed penalty. He shouldn’t have even had the penalty to begin with. The red card to Coventry is going to protested and we will be campaigning that he should not be held out of the next game. I’ve never liked to get on the referees but this was the worst I have ever seen, and in a World Cup it is unacceptable for sure.”

Attendance at the game was strong, with an average bid price per seat cracking the 100 rusa mark at a total of 104R. The Secristan Department of Sports was very happy with this figure, as they were with the amount of pay-per-view telecasts. It showed that fans still had believed that the team had a shot, although this result will hurt. It also may have helped that today was an off-day for Secristan in the World Lacrosse Championships, so the World Cup did not have to compete with that this week. Next week, when they go head-to-head again, the financial numbers will be a little more telling, we believe.

Purple Knights Stunned By O Ale Ale

How do you lose to O Ale Ale, and unranked team, not coverage of the sport by there country, that is a major underdog? Remniscent of a team last year who defeated us and kept us out of the cup with a 4-0 shalacking. Panuul anyone. The team never wins the easy ones. Especially at home. Jeese i have never seen a team so hyped up that they lose the easy ones.

As it is the Knights lost one to nothing, to a team from nowhere in there first ever cup. Seriously we should have predicted this. How many times has this happened before. It is unbelieveable, but at the sametime totally knowing it would happen. They lost plain and simple. Who cares who we play next, just chalk up a loss jeese.

Dancougar News!!
Arizona? Seriously?

And suddenly... it's all gone wrong: The Wings were forgiven for the stumble in Qazox City, but a 3-1 loss to Colbourne, even on the road, is a major cause for concern. Six points dropped have Solomon Bilbao scratching his head and searching for answers in a lineup that had done little wrong throughout the first half.

"It doesn't always go your way," he said after the match, in which the decision to start Benjamin Whittaker looked to be a disaster. He was constantly outplayed on the right side by Juan Ruiz, who often withdrew from his forward position to help offset Dancougar's numerical advantage in the midfield. Colbourne attacked with fluidity not seen in the first leg in Yuki City and showed more confidence playing in front of their home fans. "They've had little go right for them so far, and a team like that is more eager to play risky and carefree football. You saw them execute today."

Whittaker has been a standby in the midfield in previous tournaments, but age has not treated him well. To find his international debut, we have to travel back to the Turtle Cup held right after World Cup 39. Rather than send a team of college all-stars as they do now for the Oxen Cup, the FA opted instead to send just a regular college team, namely the national champions that year, Rizzi. The team won only two matches, one against another college team and another via forfeit, but introduced soon-to-be national team coach Charles du Pont to Whittaker, who impressed the coach with his work ethic and drive.

Since then he's been playing his club football in Daehanjeiguk and has constantly received callbacks to the team, but as he reaches into his thirties, Whittaker's style of play has proven to be a weakness rather than a strength. He goes all-out, but this tends to fatigue him faster than it once did. He's starting to rise more gingerly from tough challenges. And his shot, which has him 19 career international goals - tying him with Akira Morimoto for fifth all-time - has deserted him. He has no goals so far in a tournament which has seen eight different Black Wing players find the net, and his one look against Colbourne was ballooned yards over the bar.

"It's tough because I know I can play for a few more years," said Whittaker, who was subbed out in the 58th minute for Dwayne Landro, the usual starter on that side. Whether he can play at the highest level, though, remains to be seen. He was directly responsible for Colbourne's opening goal in the 15th. He attempted to fire a pass across the middle for Kevin Underwood, but he didn't put enough on it. It was snapped up by Carlos Guevara and converted into a break. With the crowd cheering the effort, Guevara held the ball until he lured Casey Berber his way and then dropped it off for Julius Ibrahim, who blasted a low strike past Watanabe for the dream start.

"As a defender, you have to choose the ball," said Berber. "I thought I had help, but he had a step [on Yukikaze]."

Dancougar had only trailed once in qualifying, and that was in the previous match in Qazox. Now, Bilbao must have gritted his teeth, hoping for the team to show some fight and live up to their billing. He was disappointed, then, to see Colbourne go 2-0 up within ten minutes. This one came off a corner. The Wings were unable to put decent pressure on Rick Sutton, who made only two saves in the first half hour; rather, it was the Colbourne offense was the one showing all the flash and pizazz. After winning the set piece, Guevara found Dan Barret lurking at the far post, and he nodded it past Watanabe to give his side a cushion.

Just before halftime, the Wings found some offense. Alexei Voronzoff went off on a run into the Colbourne half and then slipped a pass to the outside for Dylandy. Dylandy controlled it, cut it back, and sent a cross into the box that found the head of - who else? - Shishio Jinguuji. The lanky striker answered Barret's header with one of his own, and the Wings were able to go into the locker room only down a goal. The momentum appeared to be shifting. All Bilbao had to do was rouse his team to go out and get the equalizer, and after that, the winner would surely be on its heels.

There was another goal in the match, but it didn't belong to the Wings. They controlled possession for the first ten minutes of the second, but were unable to generate any scoring chances. Colbourne fell back on defense, but the tactic proved to be temporary. Rather than try to all-out defend the lead, Colbourne just wanted to survive Dancougar's push and then counter. They did so with dramatic effect. In the 62nd, Pablo Velez started a breakout with a long clearance that fell to the feet of Ruiz, who pushed it upfield and found Ibrahim sprinting past Berber. He led his pass perfectly and Watanabe had no choice but to come out and try to play it. Ibrahim got there first, just chipping the ball over the 'keeper and into the open net. It was 3-1, and the Wings were rattled.

"All credit to the finish," said Bilbao after the match. "He showed great presence of mind and didn't put too much on it. But that's something we have to be able to prevent. We allowed the play to develop rather than shutting it down quickly."

Whittaker had given way to Landro minutes before, and now, Dustin Garbett came on for Underwood. The captain's armband transferred to Dylandy, who found himself in charge of a 3-4-3 with under half an hour to make up the deficit. The addition of a striker to play catch-up is an all-too-familiar Black Wing tactic, and Colbourne was ready. Ibrahim came off to applause and in came midfielder Joey Harmse, who adopted a more defensive role from his position. Garbett's effectiveness was minimal, as she only managed one shot on goal and was constantly hounded by Jeff Marshall. The Grandborough FC man has seen little in the way of international action and looked out of sync with the rest of the team.

Bilbao now has work to do on the practice field now the Wings have lost two straight matches, giving Qazox complete control of the group. Supporters of the team will point out that they do have a ten-point edge over fourth-place Rennidan, so there is no danger of missing the World Cup yet. They'll also remind fans that the Wings also lost a road game to start the second half of World Cup 43 qualifiers, 3-2 at Glaycia, before rolling off six straight wins to qualify with room to spare.

Group six day in review: Kelssek have quietly become a force in group six. They're not winning big, but they're winning. Last night's 1-0 win over Operata was their fifth of qualifying, and all of a sudden, they're just two points behind Dancougar for second place. St Samuel and Akbarabad once again played some very entertaining football, producing a 3-3 draw. Better than half of each team's offensive output has thus come against each other. Qazox got past Rennidan 3-2 at home in the other match of the day to go to 8-0-0. Coupled with the Dancougar slump, they are now the favorites to take the group, and there's a real threat of them running the table.

Bilbao sticking to guns for matchday nine: Dancougar needs badly to get back on track. Six dropped points by the world's third-ranked team are a cause for concern in the Dancougar camp, and some blame Bilbao's constantly shifting lineups. "He should stick to the proven players," says Jay Adonis of the Lakeport Times. "He got cute by playing backups in, what, the third match of qualifiers? That's ridiculous. This is why the Demots and Bostopias are playing better football right now."

Perhaps Bilbao is thinking the same thing, because he's making only a few chances the lineup for Operata. He's still rotating his forwards, with Dan Potts now getting his shot with Shiro Furuya while Shishio Jinguuji sits. It doesn't seem to be that this is the problem - each has at least three goals in qualifying so far, and Potts leads with five. The shifting midfield, though, might be a worry. It'll revert to its usual form with Dwayne Landro returning to the right side. The defense is also opting for speed with the omission of the big Musashi Yamada in the middle. Brad Leeds will take point instead.

STARTING XI: Watanabe; Berber, Leeds, Yukikaze; Dylandy, Voronzoff, Underwood, Midorikawa, Landro; Furuya, Potts
SUBSTITUTES: Brengle; Yamada, Carter; Klingensmith, Hayashi; Jinguuji, Stadler

Atalanta Packed to the Gills With Sports:
Success Harder to Find, Unfortunately.

Today was a ridiculous day for sport in Arroza as not one, not two, but THREE national team games we're played in the same day, a ridiculously sunny Saturday evening here in the Capitol District.

First let's talk about World Cup 45 Qualifications. In Group 5, the Rymerian “Xenos”, as they've been getting called lately lost a horrible game 0-3 to group seed Tynelia in the afternoon game. The Rymerians seemed to be having a tough time getting used to the issues of space lag, and even when they stay on the home planet for their games, they have an issue generating a supportive home crowd, being 58,786,300,000,000 miles from home, give or take 10 billion miles. Still we wish the Rymerians the best of luck as they try to salvage something out of this trip to the World Cup. (Maybe now it should be the Universe Cup? Just a thought)

In Group 3, the Tar Hornets fresh off a demoralizing loss to Cassadaigua at Concord Heights, finally come home to start their five game homestand with an winnable game against Syktykvar. It was paper bag day at Island Aire Field, as the Tar Hornets poke fun at their failures. Any Arrozan fan who came to the game with a paper bag over their head got half-price admission and a free Martin Lancaster bobblehead doll.

It was also the day that the national team unveiled their new home uniforms, finally shedding their negative links to both the convict history of the nation, and to the national team's start as a crew of prisoners at Angola State Penitentiary. The team looked striking in their new sky-blue and black uniforms,
http://img218.imageshack.us/img218/6597/homearza1fj2.jpg
and the team seemed to be energized with a giant dose of solar power as they came out in the first half fired up. The drama surrounding Newmanistan's decision to quit playing soccer at the international level, and release the foreign internationals playing domestically in Newmanistan may have had a lot to do with this as newly free agent Chris Mahaffey, formerly of championship side Pocono City, was the forst goal scorer, taking a free kick from 27 yards out and putting a lazer beam in the top right corner of the goal in the 11th minute to give the Hornets a 1-0 lead.

In the 23rd minute, the Newmanistani connection struck again as a build up up the right side of the field led to Mahaffey delivering a cross into the box, where an improper clear left the ball in the path of a hard charging, and also jobless Martin Lancaster, who tapped the ball low past the keeper. The first half was the team's best offensive performance of the tournament so far, and even caused a lot of the formerly anonymous fans to shed their masks in celebration.

A late first half goat couldn't stop the celebration, and a return to a more defensive formation at the beginning of the second half, saw a quiet finish to the game without any more goals being scored. The good news is that this win, now takes the Hornets out of the cellar of Group 3, and a win next match could see them go as high as fourth in the group. Qualification is probably out of our reach, unless there's a stunning set of results from both Arroza and Wentland, but it's still mathematically possible.

Goals:
Arroza: Mahaffey 11 (1), Lancaster 23 (4)
Syktkyvar: #11 39

The Tar Hornets' next game is at Island Aire next Saturday at 1845, against the #2 team in the World, Demot 2. It might be time to bring the paper bags back...

Basketball Team Dazed and Confused

The last game of the day was the IBC opener, in which.....

After Rymeria finished its 3-0 loss in Tynelia, Chris Hannan walked back from the media room after answering questions from Rymerian and Tynelian media representatives.

He watched from the door of his office as his players answered questions about the team's performance. He knew questions about his expelling Mateo Calderón from the team would continue. Calderón was their most skillful midfielder. He was the man expected to orchestrate the offense. And now he was being sent home.

Calderón blasted Hannan in an interview, calling him "a dictator" and "an insecure comemierda." Hannan fired back.

"I don't tolerate players who are all about them," Hannan said. "This is not Mateo Calderón and his stooges. This is the Rymerian national soccer team. If he can't accept that, he doesn't belong here, no matter how good he is as a player."

Another aspect of the game that Hannan was asked about was his term "space lag." Sarzonia didn't play like a team that suffered from it, defeating Dariusville 0:2 away after not having taken an away result in the first seven matches of World Cup qualifying or the match in Rymeria City. The team played like a tired team.

"We just don't have the kind of depth we need to compete at this level," Hannan said.

Hannan also angrily dismissed talk that the team would compete in the Cup of Harmony if invited.

"Who gives a rat's ass about some piece of shit loser's bracket tournament?" Hannan snapped. "I want nothing to do with our competing in it. They can go to hell."

[OOC: I want to make perfectly clear that this is only an IC opinion by one of my characters. If the organiser(s) of the Cup of Harmony would like to consider either Rymeria or Sarzonia for the Cup of Harmony, I'd prefer that Sarzonia be the team that goes in. There's no need to take up two spots in the Cup of Harmony if it would take away a berth from a deserving player.]

Jeruselem Government News

Ryan becomes a Jeruselem football hero!

It's not everyday Jeruselem can beat the Purple Menace, and it's not every day they can do it in Starblaydia either. It was 6th vs 13th again, and you'd think after Jeruselem lost at home to Chutnusak ... the Purple Menace would crush our delicate Princesses.

Things didn't start well with Captain Kate Sallad getting a yellow card for muttering something to herself but the ref taking that as slur to the opposition. Coach Ryan took the unusual step of taking her off the field and putting on "Dingle Bingle" to avoid get booked again. The move seems to unsettle the team with Marie taking the leader's armband and the Purple Menace scoring an easy goal when Sadie Dallas was judged to have fouled an opposition striker in the penalty area. It was more of clumsy bumble but 1-0 to home team.

The team ran on in the 2nd half knowing it was a big of mountain to climb having fought to keep out the Menace to keep the scoreline at 0-1. Lara Bingle won a corner and gave Na Ling a great header (not headjob) to equalise at 1 ALL. Jeruselem keeper Rajkie Salam almost dropped the ball after a stinging attack but Jacinta Sallad ran behind him to avoid an embarassing own goal. Jacinta maybe the world's most annoying Jewish defender, but can be depended on to do her job.

Young Helen Clarke struck a telling blow with great long range strike hitting home. Once again she put on that "Sheepy" celebration. The home team attacked again and almost score except for some desperate defending by the girls (most of the defense are female). To make things worse for the home team, Jeruselem real Princess scored the nail in the coffin with a fearless diving header to seal the game 3-1.

An excited Marie said later
"We owe it all to our fantastic coach. I mean, two wins of the Purple Menace in the same cup must be some heroic achievement! No Jeruselem coach has done but then Qazian teams have beaten Starblaydi teams before so maybe it's the Qazian magic! If Ryan wants babies, I'll be the first volunteer my services. We need for coaches like him in this world."

Coach Ryan didn't quite take up Marie's offer
"Kind words from Marie there. We played well, Starblaydia didn't play well enough. I'm not going taking up her offer there and I'm no hero. The team played the football, I'm just the coach who tells them how to do it. Jeruselemites love their heroes but I'm just a coach. I'm no hero."

Jaseuyeon continued it's golden form with a win 2-1 over Draistania. Greal suffered a loss to giantkiller Chutnusak, failing 1-2. Urna Electrônica added some nails to Idanno slim hopes with a 2-0 win.

The table for Group 7 is still Jaseuyeon, Jeruselem and Starblaydia. Greal is 2nd last not much ahead of the two predicted cellar dwellers. Urna Eletrônica is threatening the top teams in 4th and Chutnusak recent wins put in back in contention in 5th spot 1 point behind the Purple Menace.

Ryan's home team beat Rennidan 3-2 while Jeru FC wasted it's chances with a 1 ALL draw with Googlewoop for getting 3 easy points. The drunks won 4-2 (that's SN). Some good news with fellow Jewbees Milchama winning and getting back to 4th in Group 9, but are 3 points astray of the nut heads from Septentrionia (not offense to assistant coach Scarlet Ferris who grows Pistachio nuts).

Jeruselem's next game is the tricky away game in Jaseuyeon. Given Jaseuyeon best us at home, Jaseuyeon should feel good but Jeruselem's away form seems a lot better than it's home form. This will be the big game of next round. Jeruselem aren't winning all their games and even managing to lose but they aren't lacking in motivation. A bit of Qazian magic might be the thing we need to have a better cup.

GROUP 7
Draistania 1 Jaseuyeon 2
Starblaydia 1 Jeruselem 3
Chutnusak 2 Greal 1
Urna Electrônica 2 Idanno 0

OOC: Annnd back from my fishing trip. Two losses not so good :(

Group 5 tightens up as Peisandros loses momentum

Peisandros has had a rude awakening to the harsh realities of World Cup football. After a flying start which saw them occupy second place in the pool for much of the early qualifying round, two losses to Secristan and Lovisa has seen the Sandrians just holding on to third place. Qualification is still possible, but it will be an uphill battle from now on in.

Coach Pappas has made a few changes to the side after the 1-0 losses, with a change at goalkeeper the first. Dorian Theotokis comes in for the Tynelia and Rymeria games after Calisto Pappas struggled with a hamstring injury in the Lovisa game. Alexander Pappas had no problems dropping his son, after he let goals which should have been saved.

In defence, Luke Erasmus has earned a recall to the starting line up and has taken the place of Alex Andreou. The second change in defence sees Narcissus Theodore replaced by debutant Kallias Manos -- the 22yr old to get his first taste of international football against the leaders of group 5 Tynelia.

The only change in midfield sees Paris Sisinis coming back in to the side, to join his brother, in place of Tobias Xanthis who struggled with form in the last two games. Upfront there is no change with the Theotokis twins continuing, although if there are no goals scored soon, George's spot could be in danger.

Expect the National Sports Arena in Olmypia to be packed for the Tynelia game as it is vital the Peisandros team picks up atleast a point. Green Wombat are now just three points behind in fourth place, after their 1-0 victory over Secristan.

Stay tuned for what should be an exciting finish to the qualifying stages of the football World Cup.

Full team for match days nine and ten can be seen here. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14359820&postcount=55)

Discussion between G. Theotokis and coach Alexander Pappas after training in Olympia.

AP: Georgie, come have a chat buddy. How are you feeling?
GT: I'm okay coach. Pretty tired though, I've never played so much football.
AP: Fair enough, I'm tired myself. Look mate, your form hasn't been so great since you came back from that ankle injury.
GT: I thought this would be about form. Am I getting cut for Tynelia?

AP: No, I'm going to give you a few more games. But we really need goals. We've only gotten four in our eight games so far. If we want to qualify, we need goals.
GT: Yeah, that's fair enough.
AP: Reckon you can work a bit harder?
GT: Of course coach, you know I've got the skills.

AP: That I do, I just need to see them. You know how the board can get.
GT: Yeah, they're all old bastards though.
AP: Well, that, but our bosses too. Anyway, get back home and relax for a few hours. Tell the other boys to get a good sleep and see you all at 730am. Oh and say hi to mum and dad.
GT: Will do coach, see you tomorrow. Thanks for the heads up.

SaxerDome, SaxerVilla...
Just after the game:

Turek: Ladies and Gentlemen, that was the most impressive win I've seen in a while. So what if it was 3-2. Most people figured we'd mail it in after the win against Dancougar, and we didn't.

Benjamin Ernst: Coach, Impressive win? We trailed 2-0 after 30 minutes! The fans were chanting thngs that would make my grandmother keel over and die.

Turek: So we got off to a bad start, it happens usually after a few months off. But we won, in no small part thanks to your 2 goals Ben.

Maria Anna Reyes: Lucky ones at that, I mean how many times do you see the ball clang off the post, then off the keeper's back, then go into the net?

Ernst: At least I wasn't given a yellow card or called for 6 fouls.

Turek: STOP IT NOW! You two, my office 10 minutes!

<ten minutes later>

Turek: What the hell is going on with you two?

Ernst: Nothing on my end coach, Maria's just ticked off at me 'cause i just broke up wth her sister.

Reyes: You broke up? She caught you in bed with my other sister!

Ernst: Ain't my fault everyone in your family likes me, except you.

Turek: STOP IT NOW!!!!! I don't give an oxen-shit. I don't care if Ben sleeps with the entire Reyes clan, and I don't care if Maria wants to kill you, sleep with you or beat the crap out of you. This stops now. I hear one more word of this from anyone, both of you will be suspended for 3 matches. And Benjamin, if I hear of anymore of you daliances when you are supposed to be in the team hotel, your off the team. In fact until the end of qualifiers, if I hear that you have anyone not a blood relative visit you in the team hotel, you're gone. Understand me you two? We do not need this distraction right now or ever. Am I understood?

Reyes and Ernst: Yes, Coach.

Turek: Now get on out of here.

The Zito Zip

Millionaires cry foul!
Red card given
for a trip.
Penalty shot is missed,
but a re-do is ordered.
2nd time is charm,
as Dale Henke scored.
Millionaires vow to protest,
but not our fault
they can't score.
With win, the Wombats
still alive for Cup,
thanks to back-to-back
losses by Peisandros.
Trip to Terreiro de Ogum
is next. 4 points earned
so far on trip.
5th point seems likely.



Schedule:
MD1: Secristan D 1-1 (0-1-0)
MD2: Terreiro de Ogum W 1-0 (1-1-0)
MD3: @ Euro Federations L 1-2 (1-1-1)
MD4: Tynelia D 1-1 (1-2-1)
MD5: @ Rymeria D 2-2 (1-3-1)
MD6: Peisandros L 0-1 (1-3-2)
MD7: @ Lovisa D 1-1 (1-4-2)
MD8: @ Secristan W 1-0 (2-4-2)
MD9: @ Terreiro de Ogum
MD10: Euro Federations
MD11: @ Tynelia
MD12: Rymeria
MD13: @ Peisandros
MD14: Lovisa

Pruxton Globe

Whatever spell, infliction, curse, or disease that has struck the Zombies, has struck hard. All 9 of the 11 starters were unable to play due to either missing limbs, beetle infestation or in one case a complete skeletization of the corpse. So Dr. Mkembe played forward by his lonesome, while Zombie Oliver Kahn and Zombie Marco Materazzi played back. Yafor 2 took full advantage, having a belived record 85 minutes of possession and scored 3 goals only 6 minutes apart early in the first half, before basically resting for the remainder of the match.

Now a 3 game road-trip starting in Cafundeu is next, and with the Zombies already 6 points behind Cafundeu in the standings, at least a draw is needed to start the trip, or else we await for an invite to the Cup of Harmony.


The schedule is this: (along with our Predictions for the Zombies)
Game 1: @ Yafor 2 LOST 0-2
Game 2: vs. Cafundeu LOST 1-2
Game 3: vs. Bears Armed WON 3-2
Game 4: vs. Iseerussiafrommyhouse LOST 1-2
Game 5: @ Brightonburg Draw 1-1
Game 6: vs. The Blouman Empire Draw 2-2
Game 7: @ Myedvedeya WIN 4-1
Game 8: vs. Yafor 2 LOST 0-3
Game 9: @ Cafundeu (Loss 1-4)
Game 10: @ Bears Armed (Win 2-1)
Game 11: @ Iseerussiafrommyhouse (Win 4-2)
Game 12: vs. Brightonburg (Win 4-1)
Game 13: @ The Blouman Empire (Loss 1-2)
Game 14: vs. Myedvedeya (Win 2-1)

PREDICTED RECORD: 7-3-4 24pts 3rd in Group.
ACTUAL RECORD: 2-2-4 8pts; 6th in group.

One hour until the operation. Brandenstein nearly had everything ready. The engineer had brought him the black box as requested, but the saying it was a data recorder... well, that was just a cover. Once the engineer left, he pried it open and carefully extracted the two glowing crystal orbs from inside. These were crucial for the upcoming operation. He'd gotten the shards of the third that were inside his Lancer after the last mission, and Stephen was sending the rest along. He just awaited news of the arrival.

His communicator buzzed. Brandenstein went to the screen. "Excuse me, sir, but a helicopter's just arrived from Nordhausen."

"Ah, I'll be right on my way," Brandenstein replied. "I was expected some last-minute help to arrive."

"Glad to hear the vote of confidence." Brandenstein whipped around to the doorway into his quarters. Stephen was leaning against the frame with a duffel bag slung over his shoulders. He walked inside the closed the door behind him. "I trust you don't mind."

Brandenstein was taken aback, but recovered his composure quickly. "I suppose I should've expect this," he said, walking over to welcome his comrade. "I've asked so much of you already, and to ask you to remain on the periphery was, perhaps, a bit too much."

"I merely wish to see the future being born," Stephen answered. He opened the duffel bag and extracted the jar of crystal shards, which he handed to the colonel. "This is everything, then?"

"It is; my thanks," Brandenstein said, retrieving the contents. He had a small briefcase nearby which he popped open, revealing the rest of the crystals. He dropped the shards into the container holding the broken third orb. There was a quick pulse of light as all three were finally brought back together.

"Now, then..." said Stephen, "I was wondering if you would share the details of the final operation."

"Of course," Brandenstein replied. "Take a seat, I'll explain..."

Colonel Simms stood in front of an electronic display. All of the pilots were gathered in the room... Angel and Freya teams, the new Lancer pilots, and those who flew the Beast Machines. There were also about two dozen men in commando gear off to one side of the room near Brandenstein.

"The operation requires several phases," Simms said, bringing up a map of Mount Fujiko and the surrounding area. "A past incursion by Freya team has given us an idea of what to expect from the enemy, and based on the elemental titans we've fought so far, we presume the enemy will be able to field a monster tentatively named Goliath 4, which is expected to be a fire type."

"We were briefed on the situation when we got here," said one of the Lancer pilots. "We're completely useless against one of those things."

"The enemy's grunt soldiers are easy to dispatch with conventional weaponry," said Inoue, as Simms yielded the floor. "Their only real strength is in numbers. The Lancer teams will be engaging Gray Sister from the ground while our teams engage them from the air with the DV-3s."

"We don't know what kind of power the enemy boss possesses, but the Dancougar is likely the only thing capable of defeating him," Simms continued. "However, we would need to get him to leave the mountain before we can attack. Colonel Brandenstein, will you continue?"

"Gladly," Brandenstein responded, rising from his seat. He walked over to the map, which zoomed into the mountain in greater detail. Some of the interior structure was present. "Before this all began, the SMS carried out a brief exploration of the caves on the eastern side of the mountain. We believe that the enemy's headquarters is inside. Fortunately, there are a few ways to flush out a rat."

He motioned to the commandos, who saluted. "I will lead a ground team that will make use of the confusion during the battle to infiltrate the mountain through the same fissure that SMS explored. We will place high-yield explosives that, when detonated, will cause the eastern side of the mountain to collapse. When the enemy leadership evacuates, the Dancougar will engage and destroy it."

"You're assuming, then, that the enemy boss is powered by the same power as those titans," said Russ.

"Naturally," replied Brandenstein. "And the Dancougar is the only weapon we have against that. Now..." He turned back to the screen. "We also have a backup plan if the ground team fails. Freya and Angel teams will each be carrying Mjollnir cluster bombs," he continued. "If the ground team goes silent or is able to give indication of failure, the Rhinemaiden squadrons are to attack the mountain directly. Mjollnir should be more than capable of reducing the mountain, but they should be used as the last resort."

"I see," said Stephen at last. "So the plan really hinges on the Dancougar's ability to end its fight quickly, which allows the rest to proceed."

"You catch on quickly," Brandenstein replied. "I was right to bring you onboard."

For now, thought Stephen, since now I understand how you're going to pull this off. I just need to fill in one more variable, and then it's over. He rose from his seat. "In that case, suit me up," he said. "I'll be going with you."

THE ROCKET REPORT

PRIDE; PROTESTS RULE THE DAY

Loudon, Newmanistan- The matches between Septentrionia and Newmanistan were supposed to be big. But there was something much bigger then just this one game tonight. The fate of the Rockets team is in question, and an eleventh hour offer from Daehanjeiguk-based Samseong may perhaps, save the team. Still, it was time to protest against the Empress. The stadium was full, as Loudon Stadium always is for World Cup qualifying and most of these fans had already purchased their tickets. The streets were lined up with protestors, which began peacefully enough. They usually do before the alcohol starts setting in. The Septentrionia team bus had a very difficult time getting through the protestors as they deliberately blocked its path and a number of fans began throwing things at the bus. We’re told that they were pistachio nuts. Man, these people sure did their research, didn’t they? Well, at least pistachios wouldn’t break the windows of the bus. With police direction, the bus eventually made it through. Various chants were heard, and we couldn’t make out what they were all saying, but some of the phrases were disturbing. “Revolution?” “We demand democracy?” “Down with the Empress! We want a Republic!” We’ve heard this throughout the Empire, too. Has the Empress really opened up a can of worms that big to where there would a revolution? Matthew Weinberg, a college student from West Loudon says, “She takes away football, what’s next? Gridiron? Baseball? Our freedom?! This is not just about football, this is about her being a dictator, something which we will not stand for.” Frank Anaconia, an 80-year old man from Loudon was one of the older people in attendance but not one of the quietest, “I’m here because the future of Newmanistan depends on it. Too long we have had to deal with the rule of one person. Taking away the World Cup is a complete power trip and we will not tolerate this. If I could live one day in a democratic Newmanistan, my life would be complete!” About 20 minutes before the game, a statement was made to that fact as the protestors lit a statue of Emperor Justin I, one of the countries first imperial rulers ablaze. Expletives towards the old Emperor and our Empress were shouted. Law enforcement allowed this demonstration to take place for a little bit, but needed to stop when three men ganged up on another man who actually had the guts to say that he supported the Empress in front of the protestors, and threw the man into the fire, killing him. As officers tried to arrest the men, things did start to get ugly as other protestors ganged up on the officers forcing many police to come to the scene and try to settle the scene with pepper spray. In this riot, one officer was killed as he too ended up being thrown into the fire, and a total of 23 protestors were arrested. Firemen had a very difficult time getting to the fire to put it out as well as protestors blocked the trucks then interfered with the firefighters as much as they could, leading to 11 more arrests.

Well, eventually, there was game. The start of it had to be delayed by an hour more as a courtesy to fans who were delayed by all the violence going to the stadium and the large traffic tie-ups that it caused. Once it started, things were much more peaceful inside Loudon Stadium. When the Rockets came out, the fans got a surprise as they were not dressed in their customary sky blue and white uniform, and rather in the black keeper uniform. Kusler, in goal, wore a red uniform, a very strange color for a Newmanistanian player to be wearing. Kusler told us that the red was symbolic, as in the red of Dancougar’s flag, the nation in which he will be playing in this coming season. The Septentrionian fans in attendance seemed to do the smart thing and either stay out of it, or join in. Let’s face it, they got some issues of their own in an upcoming election. Jacques Beaudoin of Septentrionia told us that, “I came here for a vacation and to try and get away from the election hype and just watch football, but I see all this. I have to agree with them though as I can’t understand why their Empress would do what she did. I guess it makes me glad that my country has elections.” So the game, that’s what we usually talk about in these things, right? Well, the players put forth what may have been their best effort of World Cup qualifying from start to finish. If indeed the team’s days in the World Cup are numbered, the team is gelling together quite a bit, and this is something that wasn’t happening earlier. Brett Carlson was making selfish plays and having an apparent disagreement with Jeremy McAllister; Dale Stevens had been struggling, and Alex Parnett had not played as well as the Empire had hoped. The man on the sidelines, Brian Carson was beginning to wonder how he could all of these pieces to come together again. In the 27th minute, the hard work of the Rockets was rewarded when Jeremy McAllister fired #99 past the Septentrionian goalkeeper. Now, the fans had something to celebrate, because it was not just a goal, but it was a reminder of what they wanted to be thinking about at this point, not what they were forced to think about. For a while, it enabled the fans to stop thinking about their anti-Empress thoughts and focus on football. Going into the lead at the break 1-nil was cause for celebration.

During the halftime period, it didn’t take long for the fans to again remember the unfortunate situation, and “Save the Rockets!” chants came about when suddenly, the diamond vision displayed a picture of Brian Carson. Carson, had always been the enemy in Loudon, and his name was always booed when it was announced even with the national team. But Carson gave the fans a quick message, which was pre-recorded before the game, “Fans, I know you are all upset about the announcement that the Empress is going to stop all our funding and not enter us into World Cup 45 or refuse to allow us to enter the Cup of Harmony if we were not able to qualify. First, let me assure you that we have not given up on qualifying for this World Cup yet.” That message led to cheers, but there was more, “I want all of you to know that we are not just going to lie down and fade away. We are going to fight for this and fight to remain a proud national team and explore all options that exist for us to maintain our presence in the greatest competition in the world. We have an offer on the table right now and because it is not yet finalized I cannot announce it publicly, but a well known organization which has sponsored international football competitions and teams has expressed a willingness to help us out, and as a team, we are going to pursue this to the fullest. We hear your protests out on the field and we understand your passion. We will not give in!” For perhaps the first time, Brian Carson had received a standing ovation at Loudon Stadium. He was referencing the Samseong offer for sure, and certainly that company would become a new favorite of the Newmanistanian public.

At the start of the second half, an early Septentrionian score would quiet down some of the excitement. Coming in the 49th minute, it was a momentum killer, and got the fans wound up again. As the visitors began to control play in the second half a group of drunk fans began to focus their attention away from the action and a fight of about 20 people broke out in one section. Security rushed to stop the incident, but even the guards were jumped by other fans, and it escalated a little more to where there were about 60 or 70 people involved before it could eventually be contained. It led to the arrest of 18 people, and five people were seriously injured in the altercation. One fan near the altercation told us it started when three fans confronted others chanting for a democracy saying that democracy would not be needed as long we changed the Empress. One of the drunks then claimed that he would personally assassinate the Empress, which led to the alercation. Then in the 69th minute, with Septentrionia still controlling the play, a group of five fans, three male and two female all decided to run out onto the field in the buff. We’re thinking that choosing the 69th minute to do this was not coincidental. One of the ladies ran up to Brett Carlson and attempted to give him a kiss, although Brett was non-responsive to her advance. Eventually, security got a hold of them and they left to a standing ovation. This delay in play may actually have worked to allow the Rockets to regain some momentum, as they began to control the play and in the 78th minute, Carlson had something better to do then kiss a drunk lady that ran onto the pitch. He would score the second goal of the game, off a pretty pass from Jeremy McAllister. It was good to see those two work together so well because there had been rumors that they had not been getting along. Newmanistan would hold on for a crucial 2-1 victory, but much more work needs to be done before we start figuring out advancement scenarios.

So what’s next? The next match is a road fixture in Quintessence of Dust, which could be good for the team to just get away. This will be an important match for the team as they attempt to make a comeback in the group. The next home game occurs in Tundra Falls against the Holy Empire, a match that could be rather interesting.

World Cup 44 Qualification - Group 2
MD1: 2-0 vs [42] West Zirconia (@ Munhwa Football Stadium - 65,000, Hanseong)
MD2: 0-2 @ [???] Sarzonia (@ Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium - 88,920, Woodstock)
MD3: 5-0 vs [76] Dariusville (@ Potala Palace - 34,000, Lasa)
MD4: 2-0 @ [54] Liventia (@ Colonial Stadium, Orean)
MD5: 2-0 vs [1] Valanora (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium - 200,000, Hangyeong)
MD6: 1-0 @ [34] Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colosseum - 599,000, Atlantea)
MD7: 3-0 vs [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium - 80,000, Gwangju)
MQ: 1-4 @ Sorthern Northland (@ somewhere new and special, but I haven't a clue...)
MD8: @ 4-0 [42] West Zirconia (@ Manchester Street - 85,000, Moorcroft)
MD9: vs [???] Sarzonia (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium - 50,000, Daebo)
MD10: @ [76] Dariusville (@ Humphra Ignhorium - 2,000, some forest in Dariusville)
MD11: vs [54] Liventia (@ Silk Road Stadium - 56,000, Seoan)
MD12: @ [1] Valanora (@ Hatire Memorial - 60,000, Capri)
MD13: vs [34] Taeshan (@ Tae-majt Park - 69,000, Pyeongyang)
MD14: @ [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ hopefully not in a beer bottle)



MBC World Cup Special Report
http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t156/daehanjeiguk/news.png

Han score big win over West Zirconia ahead of Sarzonia contest

MOORCROFT - Complacency is a death trap in these days. If you let up your guard one bit, you'll find yourself trailing the leaders the whole time. And this time during the first half, the Han were brimming with confidence over an easy qualification season so far. So far - it was only one game. To be honest, 7 wins out of the past 8 isn't that bad. There's one poor team in Group 9 that hasn't gotten any points out of their last 8 meetings, and doubtful that they will. But as a warning against complacency, this was where many fans started to hold some doubts over Ioshido's ability to do another season; and then we went to Sarzonia and found ourselves on the receiving end of a schooling in football. And it's not like they were the little mouse that roared; well, if they were, they roared twice. In any case, they've humbled the Vanorians and stand to qualify on their return to international football, even as the higher ranked Taeshan is still relying upon their goalkeeper (once again the star of a 1-0 loss to O Ale Ale; despite the press reaction from Taeshan, I consider Montague's predicament a tragedy - so sue me, I'm a writer!).

Anyway, back to the story at hand. It was a thorough thrashing of West Zirconia at their stadium in Moorcroft, and while I doubt that the West Zirconians were expecting as bad a loss as they received (doubtless, the hopeful fans were looking for a slender win), the fans were very hospitable nonetheless. Getting beat by the 11th ranked team is not a big deal; losing 4-0 perhaps is, but the fans still carried themselves up high, shoulders facing an uncertain future in qualification and pride brimming for the next time, whenever that might be. They're certainly the sort of people who would swallow their thumbs some day and take you for a drink (thankfully, there was none of that...), laughing about it. And I imagine that some time down the road, we'll be talking to some West Zirconians, talking about those two weird freaks who tried to stop the play in the home fixture by releasing a horde of bees or streaking the field (which by the way, did not occur). But if there were any lingering doubts about who won the home fixture, the Han settled in it a convincing away win - played in full daylight, with not a cloud in the sky. And Kim Daeeui nearly racked up another hat trick (only the bazillionth he's done that - a more realistic statistic than him having a bazillion hat tricks). But thankfully, Pak Gyuseon and Yi Beomsuk finished up the tally, with the defender scoring his first goal of this season (and I think ever, although he might have scored earlier in his career; I don't know, I'm just a writer). Anyway, 4-0, and Kim Jongguk gets another clean sheet.

And the Imperial Team will be coming back to the Jonam Islands for a training session that will likely last for the remainder of their time until the Sarzonia match. They lost 2-0 away; fans forgave them when they beat Valanora 2-0, and I'm pretty they'll definitely forgive the team if they beat Sarzonia 123456789...987654321 to nil at Daebo. Of course, I'd be fine with a simple 1-0 win, and doubtless, Ioshido will be saying the same thing.

Oh, and if you're thinking about making your investments, check out Samseong. Their stocks rose quite significantly following reports that they would be acquiring sponsorship of the Newmanistanian National Team. And what sort of perks were they thinking when they offered it? After all, most teams will agree that managing the national team is a big money-sucking machine, even with the fans senselessly buying merchandise and memorabilia; but I imagine that the Samseong folks were looking beyond that and seeing a lucrative opportunity to become the biggest electronics, construction, retailer, big whatever in Newmanistan, after the massively unpopular Imperial (their Empire, not ours) decision to cease major international entertainment activities, including the National Football Team of Newmanistan among others. And so not only will Samseong have the monopoly of international sports management in Newmanistan, they may also have a growing commercial interest in the country itself - not to say that it's a bad thing. Wherever the company has gone, there's been some good side effects. The Candelarisian capital - Albrecht - had something of a face-lift following Samseong's sponsorship of one of their teams; and I'm sure that Samseong will be keen to get their face on the World Cup itself (they've tried for nearly every edition that I can remember; eventually, they'll call it the Samseong World Cup... *shudder*).

Anyway, before we get all excited about what happens in Newmanistan or in the World Cup, we've got some business to finish in Daebo, and the appointment is with Sarzonia. If business isn't settled, be sure to stay away from the alcohol for a while.

To whom it may concern @ Samseong- Office of Football Affairs
From: Brian Carson- Head Coach, Newmanistan National Team

To all members of the Samseong Office of Football Affairs:

I received your offer several days ago and right away I couldn’t believe what I was reading. The announcement by Empress Jessica has been absolutely devastating for all of us, and if you watched any part of our game with Septentrionia tonight, or seen the highlights, you can see the kind of impact this has on our fans. She says football isn’t popular enough in our country. That couldn’t be any more wrong. I’ve been wondering if this would indeed be the end of the road for me until your offer. The influence of Samseong is widespread throughout the football world, and I would be honored to have your backing behind us. With it, I feel we can do wonderful things. It just simply be nice not to have an imperial ruler have this kind of power to just pull the plug on our program, and instead have knowledgeable people and true fans of the sport as exist at Samseong to work for. I will be proud to represent you, and our fans, well you may see a vast increase in internet orders for sales to Newmanistan.

I had to make sure that the entire team would also be on board with this, and that’s why I couldn’t immediately accept your offer. Not surprisingly, the team unanimously agreed to accept your offer after I was able to get into the specifics of it. So with that, let this letter serve as our acceptance to your sponsorship. It will be a pleasure working with you, and even though you weren’t going to require it, we can find a spot for the Samseong logo on our kits, and we will wear it with pride. I would like to thank all of you for being there with us and allowing us to continue in World Cup competitions. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you in the meantime. We have this reputation in qualifying for being a late charger, maybe we have that in us again? Thanks again!

It’ll be a pleasure to work with you and for you,
– Brian Carson


* * * * * * * * * *

To: Queen Alexandra Katherine Dallas of Jeruselem
From: Empress Jessica

Greetings, it is a pleasure to hear from you! This is one of the nicer pieces of e-mail that I have received in the past couple weeks, as people think I wanted to make the decision that I did. I am hoping that a good run in the World Lacrosse Championships and/or the International Basketball Championships can calm these feelings down amongst these protestors which are trying to tear apart the Empire.

The nation of Jeruselem has always been a country in which I have admired. Not just for your athletic prowess in different sports, though mainly football, but for the history of your family, the Dallas family. As a descendent of our original Emperor, I can appreciate what it takes to have a great family tree that is respected throughout the country and versatile in what they are able to do, such as have players participate on the national team and experience good success. One thing that was never my intention was to prevent our players from making a living playing football, but unfortunately it seems as though the Newmanistan Premier League is going to become a lot less viable of an option. I will spread the word of your offer for players to play in Jeruselem, and I can guarantee you that we will have several who would love to continue their careers in your country. Many of them may not want to listen to me at the moment, but this will be good news for them and let them know that I still care and am still looking out for them.

Best of luck with the little kids, and may they carry on the family traditions with pride.

Sincerely,
Empress Jessica

Courtney’s Space

I’ve been asked, what is there to play for now that the group seems to be pretty well set up, and the Dagans look as though they need to begin their Cup of Harmony planning now. My first answer to that question is easy. What do you mean we are out of it? We are most certainly in this thing. It’s a longshot and there’s work to be done but we are still believing that we can qualify, and that showed against Deep South Sopia. That was a Baptism of Fire 31 side that we knocked off, and our next match is against another team that played in Dancougar Baptism of Fire, in Googlewoop. We had a draw against them last time. That’s not the only reason I wake up every morning and practice my you know what off on a daily basis and give 110% in every game that we play. It’s a matter of pride. I look into the eyes of my young teammate Stacie Kerrigan. Surely you remember Stacie from the Di Bradini Cup. She’s a young scorer and maybe one day she will be the captain of the national team and leading us to the World Cup. I think she has it in her to do that. Stacie is affected by what is going on in Newmanistan, which I am sure most of my readers out there are aware of. She signed with their Springfield team after her boyfriend that she met in the Di Bradini Cup, Eric Fraser of Secristan, also signed with them so that they could be together. A heart warming story now spoiled. Probably. It’s affected her as she was really looking forward to have a long career there. All I can tell her now is to stick with it and her career will be great, no matter where it is. That’s what this World Cup stuff is about. That is why we come to play everyday, because we didn’t get into soccer as kids thinking we would only playing in important matches with meaning, but that we were playing so that we could have fun.

Yes, it is still fun even now as I have hit the magic thirty years of age. When I play for my club team, Tenderville United in Candelaria And Marquez it is an honor to put on that uniform every day and be a part of what Tenderville is trying to do and just to play in that great league. But I still have fun, and my teammates there will probably tell you that I am one of the most easy going players on the team. Playing internationally, yes, it remains fun. How often do you hear other international players in their post game interviews just tell you straight up how much enjoyment they are having. Because it is a responsibility to wear the kit of the national team, the fun factor is lessened and the pressure magnified. You get criticized for only drawing a team ranked worse then you at home. The statisticians make you go insane with their daily scenarios of how many points you need and who needs to win or lose in order for you to have a slight chance of making it in. If you go to the Cup of Harmony, you are a failure. Everything is one big old epic fail. That’s not very fun. To get enjoyment out of this you just have to go out there and play, enjoy seeing the cultures of the other countries and do your best. That way you don’t make as many mistakes and you find yourselves in many games. Outside of the Sorthern Northland defeat, we have been in every game this World Cup. No one comes out of a game against us thinking that was easy, I can tell you that. Ok well Sorthern Northland may have, but they won’t be doing that again.

Up next is Googlewoop. Let’s go get ‘em!

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Crises? What crises?

Sortherners unbeaten in five games

Wins, they're often like the number 17 bus. You wait ages for one, then four come along at once. Two of which were merely friendlies, but with them both being against strong teams, the players will surely have gained a lot of confidence from them.

The first of the four wins saw the Sorthern team safely navigate it's way round what can only be described as a potential banana skin. And a cause for some cracking headlines had we lost. 'Sorthern Northland googlewooped' for example. The Googlewoopers had previously been in poor form, having picked up just two points from the first six games. It was exactly the sort of game that we'd lose. Lewis Graham was given his first international start in place of Lee Waywide who hadn't been allowed outside Sorthern Northland or Candelaria And Marquez due to the terms of his bail following his arrest following the draw with Jeru FC. Graham has received a fair share of criticism this World Cup, or rather the manager has for picking him. Graham however was seemingly unaffected by it all as he scored with a delicate chip after just five minutes to calm Sorthern nerves. A further two goals from him in the second half lead Sorthern Northland to a comfortable away win, and set them up nicely for their two mid qualifying friendlies.

The two games were arranged as the opening fixtures for the brand spanking new Lengden Road stadium in Cardiff Scotland. Someone whoever didn't seem to have told Daehanjeiguk that as the reporter for Han news service, MBC, found himself reporting the game from Beningrad. A cocktail of various different alcohols is thought to have led to a lack of knowledge in Sorthern geography from the Hans, who were certainly making the most of their time on Sorthern soil. The drinking from much of the day before the game was immediately on show at the coin toss, were Han captain Song Jongguk collapsed to the floor apparently passed out. The referee then pulled out a marker pen and used it to draw a pair of comedy glasses on the Han captain, before booking Sorthern captain, Lee Waywide for diving, having seemingly confused him for the Han captain. To add to the confusion once the game had kicked off most Han players ran off the pitch (or what remained of it, with them having ripped much of it up), to play a game of cards with the bench. The relative lack of opposition leaving Giṓrgos Karyōtákīs to score a first half hat trick with Ham Hyi-san also scoring to put the Sortherners 4-0 at half time. The Han came out a rejuvenated and somewhat more sober force in the second half. The Han were the better side in the second half, but could only make it count with a single goal from Jeong Jihun who completely bamboozled his Khalmar-Tijhus team-mate, Bernard Labbé on the right wing before scoring with an audacious lob over Benjamin Gaudet.

A 4-1 win over the eleventh ranked team in the world saw the Sortherners march into the second friendly, this one against, Koseli Cumhuriyetler (the successor state of Kose and the Turkomans), full of confidence. The game was the first between the two teams since the last one (duh!), the now infamous Battle of Little Greece. That game saw Kosenic fans destroy Little Greece Airport, cause a vast amount of damage to the city, and almost led to all out war. This time the SNFA had the sense to not hold the game in Little Greece. If nothing else, this allowed the match to be completed, and it was quite some match. Lee Waywide scored two quick goals around the half an hour mark, and it seemed that Sorthern Northland would cruise to victory. One thing we should know by now though is to never underestimate Turks. Within minutes of going 2-0 down, Sinan Kose scored a goal who's build up can only be described as rather physical. Not that Sorthern fans were complaining, as it started when lumbering centre-back Arif Korkmaz won the ball with a crunching tackled on Giṓrgos Karyōtákīs which left the useless striker with a broken leg and quite possibly the end of his career, “wahey!” to quote the Sorthern fans in the stadium. It wasn't long till the next goal either, with the influential Sinan Kose again adding his name to the scoresheet as he managed to lob Luke Goldsmith from well inside his own half, with what can only be described as a fucking huge slice of luck with a cherry on top. Oktay Uzum then put the Kosenics into the lead on the stroke of half time with what their media has described as a “strike”. It was clearly a misplaced cross. Jammy bastard. Just like the Kosenics are never beaten though, neither are the Sortherners. A number of half time substitutions including Ham Hyi-San and Lewis Grahm being bought on saw the Sortherners regain control, with goals from Graham, Ham, and Gregory Pinoc, all in the last twenty minutes sealing what was a well earned win for a Sorthern team who had been pushed all the way by a Kosenic team not lacking in quality. More good news came after the game when police announced that there had been only a few isolated incidents of crowd trouble.

With the friendlies out the way the Sortherners found themselves travelling to Oiseaui and the magnificent King Jude IV Stadium. Like the Googlewoop game, this was another potential banana skin. Something the Oiseaui players were clearly away of, as they went about making themselves as much of a nuisance as possible. Clearly not afraid of the marginally more illustrious Sortherners the Oiseauians set themselves to attack, and it paid dividends for them young James Atheron beat the offside trap in the fifteenth minute and calmly slotted the ball past the onrushing Luke Goldsmith to put his team into a surprise lead. Atheron was a constant threat to the Sorthern defence all game long, and will almost certainly have aroused the interest of a number of scouts from Sorthern clubs in attendance at the game. Following his goal, the Sorthern team seemed to go into shock and found themselves unable to attack with much threat and struggling to defend with Atheron unlucky not to add to his goal, and Ray Boyce, who for some reason had a goalkeepers number despite being a midfielder, going close with a couple of shots. Somehow though, Sorthern Northland managed to survive until half time, and went in just one goal down. Merginn Moffat showed his frustration walking down the tunnel at half time by kicking a water bottle straight into the chops of Lee Waywide knocking him out, which quite embarrassingly for the Sorthern manager led to him being forced into a substitution. In an odd sort of way though that proved to be a turning point in the game. Ham Hyi-San who had replaced Waywide put in one of the performances of the tournament so far for SN as he scored three and set one up for Lewis Graham, although only once Oiseaui had gone 2-0 up following a debatable penalty which the impressive James Atheron scored with the coolness of a cucumber.

As great as those four wins have been though, the Sortherners still lie in fourth, behind Kenavt due to the home loss to them earlier in the campaign. The next qualifier sees, Sorthern Northland travel to Kenavt for the replay of that. A win will surely put them in a strong position for World Cup qualification, a draw won't help much but at the same time won't be a disaster, a loss will, for lack of a better term, turn a molehill into a mountain. In some ways, this is the start of the campaign.

Your Matchday Nine RP cut-orf, sir.

And herreh are your scores, sir. Just how sir likes them. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14391015&postcount=13)

http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/7993/dailyturkjo0.png
Bactrian Camels 0 – 1 Koseli Cumhuriyetler
One Thing I Want To Say...
Is where the hell did this defensive prowess come from! it seems the Turks have developed a solid set of players in defense with players covering for suspensions and playing almost as well as the players they were replacing. The only chance of the first half fell to Sinan Kose who managed to hit the crossbar on 34 minutes, and the half chance the Camels got was short lived after an excellent intervention from Serkan.

The second half continued in the manner of a game destined to draw however in the 55th minute Oktay managed to score after a Sabri cross that Oktay turned into the net past the advancing Camels goalkeeper. The could and probably should have got more goals but ultimately a wasteful performance from the strike force and poor passing from the midfield left the glory for the defenders who managed to help Orhan keep a rare clean sheet for the Turks.

Woodstock Daily Mail

Stars short-circuited in 2:0 loss

By Travis West
Daily Mail Staff Writer

DAEBO, Daehanjeiguk -- Playing its first match after forward Zack Wilson, son of Sarzonian national team manager Brian Wilson and grandson of Incorporated Football Federation chairman Dave Wilson tore his right anterior cruciate ligament, the Sarzonian national team could generate no offence in a 2:0 loss to Daehanjeiguk at Seobanya National Football Stadium.

"Daehanjeiguk focused much of its attention on [striker Matt Lynch]," Brian Wilson said. "We kept trying to force the ball to him when [forward] Reese [Nichols] was wide open. We need to do a better job of distributing the ball."

Sarzonia (3-3-3, fourth place, Group 2) couldn't get much going against Daehanjeiguk after striker Kim Daeeui scored the opening goal for the hosts in the 19th minute. According to defender and team captain Ben Davis, the Stars defence overplayed fellow striker Pak Gyuseon, going against Brian Wilson's scouting report on the Han.

"We saw [midfielder] Yi Yeongpyo send the ball toward Pak and slid over to try to force a turnover," Davis said. "When that happened, Pak saw Kim wide open and sent him a great through ball." It left Sarzonian goalkeeper Cody Taylor with "a snowball's chance in a Nicksian summer" of stopping the blistering shot from Kim.

The Stars appeared stunned after the goal and nearly gave up another two minutes later, but Taylor came up with a highlight-reel save of a surprise shot from Yi, leaping high into the air to tip a rising shot over the crossbar. Six minutes after Yi's bid, however, Taylor and the Stars weren't so lucky. Taylor was booked for an aggressive tackle of Kim in the box, and only his eyes locking onto the ball prevented him from being sent off, according to the Tynelian referee assigned to the match.

Pak buried the resulting penalty and Daehanjeiguk had a 2:0 lead in the 27th minute.

"It was unfortunate, but we're glad it wasn't a red card," Brian Wilson said.

Sarzonia switched to a daring 3-4-3 in the 32nd minute, replacing defender Spencer Hicks with midfielder Pete Weston, who earned his first-ever cap. The Stars tried to play more direct football after the change according to Lynch, but Daehanjeiguk (8-0-1, 24 points, first place Group 2) thwarted Sarzonia's efforts at playing more direct football.

"We tried to get away from what we do best," Lynch said. "We felt we had to if we wanted to get back into the match."

The Stars return to Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium in Woodstock to face West Zirconia, who defeated the Stars 4:1 on Matchday 3. Despite some supporters suggesting that the Stars would have additional motivation after the drubbing, Nichols said the team wasn't worried about revenge.

"We just want to get out there and win the match," Nichols said. "The fact is, we didn't play well against West Zirconia. We need to play much better against them at home."

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Hannan suspended after Lovisa match

Rymerian Soccer Association President Scooter Boscoe announced after Rymeria's 2-0 loss in Lovisa that Rhinos coach Chris Hannan would be suspended for Rymeria's 'home' game at Government Park in Atalanta, Arroza against Peisandros after his comments regarding the Cup of Harmony.

"The Rymerian Soccer Association takes the inappropriate marks made by Coach Hannan seriously," Boscoe said. "As such, we have suspended him for the game to send a message that such actions will not be tolerated by the RSA."

Hannan's comments came after Rymeria lost to world No. 8 Tynelia 3-0 at Government Park. Boscoe said the team would be "unlikely" to accept a Cup of Harmony bid if offered, but added that it hoped Cup of Harmony organizers didn't "close the door completely" on the possibility.

"We think it would be a logistical nightmare for our team to travel to Earth for a tournament that could keep them an undetermined length of time," Boscoe said. "Having said that, Coach Hannan would be involved in the decision whether to accept such a bid. However, we're disappointed with the way he handled the question."

"I apologize to the organizers of the Cup of Harmony, to Tynelian and Rymerian media personnel and to my team for the way I handled myself," Hannan said. "I hold each Rhinos player to a higher standard of conduct and I failed to meet that standard personally.

"I said Rymeria would not take part in a Cup of Harmony. I still believe that would be my decision if we're offered a bid," Hannan continued. "However, that is a decision the RSA and I would make after consultation with the players and with representatives from the Rhinos supporters association. Being invited to the Cup of Harmony is a distinct honor for the best teams that did not make it to the World Cup finals proper, and I'm very sorry I lost sight of that."

Assistant coach Dave Morris will serve as acting head coach for Rymeria's match against Peisandros. He said he wouldn't make any major changes to the team's game plan, except for "changes that fit in with what we would normally do.

"I'm not a big believer in reinventing the wheel," Morris said. "This is one match and we are who we are as a team. We can't go in and make dramatic changes to what we do as a team based on one game."

www.gamingbostopia.bp

FIELD MARSHAL DENFELD'S COMBAT TANK SIMULATOR

Field Marshal Denfeld's Combat Tank Simulator has just been announced as in the early stages of production by MoDGames, the gaming arm of the Bostopian Ministry of Defense. While details are so far sketchy for obvious reasons, we have been told that the game will feature all of the MBTs in the Army and the Emperor's Own Regiment's Armoured Brigade. Of course, this means the Champion MKII, Chariot, Chairman and Choice MKIV will all be on there, with the most realistic handling and graphics on any game!

The aim of the game is to go through various maps battling enemy forces, with levels based on the various conflicts Bostopia has been in, including Casari, the Laquar Rebellion and Sorthern Northland, with a bonus levels in Fort Boston confirmed.

Players can take control of any of the four positions in a tank – Driver, Gunner, Radioman or Commander – in single or online play, or take on all the positions. There is also word that a Field Marshal add-on pack could be made available, which will be a turn-based-strategy game, and more details will be forthcoming on those after C.T.S. is released, and sales figures have been viewed.

The Field Marshal himself will be lending his voice to the game, guiding players through training mode, and also providing hints and tips throughout the game.

In the only video available so far, Field Marshal Denfeld is heard telling the player what to do when your tank catches fire - “Jimmy do one, bruv!” At this point, the player will have the opportunity to become a foot soldier to try and defend their position before help arrives.

We'll keep you updated on this game as more news becomes available.

Draistania didn't expect a win against Starblaydia, everything about soccer had gone quiet. Draistania was playing angry now. Lawrence Daniels managed to run right past the Starblaydi defense and make a goal, when Peter Malcrom ran in front of the defense, blocking them for just long enough for Daniels to get by and make the goal at 27 minutes.

This didn't quench Draistania's anger though. They committed more fouls than they had in any other game, but no one was red carded as the coaching staff used their substitutions strategically. Peter Malcrom, Jason Smith, Walter Smith, Juan Gonzalez, Cameron Pollens, Daniel Verdan, and Tom Canverson were all yellow carded, but never went to far with their fouling, as they were warned by the coaching staff to be careful.

Starblaydia did make a goal at 76 minutes with Valrauncion after Soronúmë kicked the ball to him and he made a header into the goal. Draistania did hold them off for the rest of the game, but didn't get another good scoring opportunity.

As the players walked off of the field, Coach Dastrin saw very serious players walking off of the field. It was a different team than he had started with. Everyone was focused on just hitting the other team as hard as they could. They wouldn't make it past the qualifiers, but their performance would not be forgotten.

Draistania 1 – 1 Starblaydia

As the sun rose above the horizon, a cheerful Tobias Raynor was already in his study, working on his latest project. Since his negotations with the Templars and the hiring of nanny to help take care of the twins, the young former Great Leader had been tinkering on all sorts of projects his Zeratul had began but never finished. There was the Great Rail, which connected Rinaldi with Stormguard, or the the only port on the mainland with the most northern settlement. It interweved with all the major cities between (Raynor City, Aulian, Hondo, Valanari, Sharala, and Longview) which made it one of the most used rails in the country. Zeratul had only managed to have the inner city rails constructed before the attempted assinaition, and had yet to ever get back to his political and civil projects. The old elf had simply put up his boots and was resigned to merely taking care of his club, the marvelous Raynor City United. He saw Tobias as his true successor, something his mother never even showed the slightest sliver of in all her days in the mansion.

Yet this morning he found himself ever the more cheerful, and amused at his work. He had come accross plans for a space elevator, one that would service one of the three Vanorian space stations in orbit over the planet. The design itself seemed very sound, as it detailed all the different components needed to be able to function properly, even against the elements. The problem Tobias was having was that he could simply not find a team of egineers that wanted to take up the challange.

"Perhaps dwarves would do, they are a bit reckless, but fearless all the same. Yet they would need to come from somewhere reputable, our own dwarves even said no. Something about lack of man power, ha! Well, I guess I could call one of the Starblaydi guilds, and see if they are up for the task." he said to himself, as the rest of the house was still in the process of waking up.

Realizing just what time it was, and then doing the adjustments for Starblaydia, which made it just past one in the morning there, he decided to e-mail the Runic Guild.

Dear Sir(s)/Madam(s)

I have come across the blueprints of a major engineering challange, and despite the specificity that the plans come with, I have yet to find an engineering team that wishes to try to accomplish the task. The task being, create a space elevator that services the space station in orbit directly above the metropolis of Monaven. If you decide to take up this enourmous challange, and succeed, you and your team will be handsomely paid and rewarded for the accomplishment. Money is no issue, so you would be allowed to have as large or as small as a team as you desired.

Sincerely,
Tobias Raynor

Satisfied that his job was finished, he opened up his explorer, and nearly fell out of his chair because of the Headline. Tobias Raynor uniamously voted VFA President it read. He had not entered himself in the running, for he was far too busy making sure the last streches of the Great Rail were fully operational and opening it up for business. That's when a slight knock came from his study's door...

Purple Knights Tie Liventia In Deadlock

Taehsna is on its way to being something similar to the team who gets just enough ties so they won't make it to the next round. The Knights have done it once again, this time against Liventia in Liventia. The Knights are know two points out of third place in fifth, bahind Sarzonia and West Zirconia they tuied the first and beat the latter so at least if we have to go to tie breakers it will be favorable for us.

As you would guess in a deadlocked 0-0 game there wouldn't be many highlights, and that assumption would be correct. Tad Montague go yet another clean sheet to add to his tally, but we only got a point. Next up is the World Champs Valanora and since qualifying is a stretch anyway with Daehanjeiguk still on the scedule the Knights chances are not looking good.

Great draw could get Sandrians back on course

After consecutive losses, things were looking glum for the Peisandros national team. But things were looking slightly better today after a 0-0 draw with top seed Tynelia. It was only the third game Tynelia were unable to win and the one point keeps Peisandros three clear of the teams on eleven points -- Green Wombat and Euro Federations. As peisandros beat both of these teams in the first round, if it gets really tight, the Sandrians are in a good position -- provided they atleast draw with the two teams in the second half of qualification.

Coach Alexander Pappas' changes worked a treat. Luke Erasmus and Kallias Manos gelled instantly and seemed to understand each-other very well in defence. The combination was vital in snuffing out several opportunities for the Tynelia strikers. Manos, playing his debut at his club's home ground, was determined to put in a good show and he did just that. He impressed everyone with his ability to read the game and get himself in to good positions.

The down side for the Peisandros team was, again, the lack of goals. Coach Pappas hasn't changed the side, but has decided to change the style the team plays.

"We just have to be more attacking. I mean, we only have four goals in nine games. Sure, we've only conceded four aswell, but if we want to qualify, which we do, well we have to score more goals. I've had a talk to captain Halkias and a few of the senior boys and we've decided while defence is still our mainstay, we do need to get up and try score some goals. If we can't score a few goals in the last five games, we're going to be in trouble. Goals people -- they win you games."

Rymeria poses itself as a difficult game. On a completely foreign planet, the Sandrians could well struggle. However atleast a point is vital. If they can score an away victory, it would be fantastic, but a draw is acceptable. A loss here and it could put the qualifying dream all but out of the equation.

Stay tuned as we follow the road to WC44, proper.

OOC: This is the RP for changing my style modifier to -2.5.. Hope that's okay.

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It's Getting Better, Man
by Rami Niblick in Emberton

THE rise and rise of Krytenian football continued last night after an effective, though not pretty, victory over Lecland on Matchday Nine of their World Cup qualifying campaign. The victory, Krytenia's fifth of the campaign, keeps them top of Group Eight with five games remaining.

In a scrappy encounter, Darren Scotland kept up his rich scoring vein by netting the opener on twenty-six minutes, and Simon Bond chipped in with a second shortly before half-time. Neither side carved out an advantage in the second half, and substitute Leighton Stevens' strike came too late to make any difference.

The top four all recorded victories yesterday, with Docky continuing to defy the critics in fourth place after defeating East Pocono, the monks beating the students to stay in third, and Vephrall beating a very disappointing-looking Quakmybush side.

Elsewhere, Starblaydia went out of the top three in Group Seven (ha!) after tying with Draistania, Bostopia somehow managed to qualify after nine games, and Sarzonia slipped back out of the top three of their group in their spirited attempt to qualify on their return to international football.

Next up are East Pocono, a side which Krytenia defeated two-nil back on Matchday Three. Three points will be required to stay in front of the pack.

Krytenia - 2
Scotland 26
Bond 43

Lecland - 1
Stevens 87

SCORERS:
D. Scotland - 6
C. Smith - 3
S. Bond - 2
U. Kennedy - 1
J. Austin - 1
G. Navarro - 1
D. Wolverton - 1

FR1: A v NET - D 3-3 (Scotland, Smith, Bond)
FR2: H v SRZ - D 0-0
MD1: A v DCK - W 2-0 (Scotland 2)
MD2: A v LEC - D 1-1 (Wolverton)
MD3: H v EPO - W 2-0 (Scotland, Smith)
MD4: A v QMB - W 2-1 (Scotland, Austin)
MD5: H v JEY - D 0-0
MD6: A v VPH - W 1-0 (Smith)
MD7: H v ARC - L 0-1
FR3: H v SEC - L 1-2 (Kennedy)
MD8: H v DCK - D 2-2 (Smith, Navarro)
MD9: H v LEC - W 2-1 (Scotland, Bond)
MD10: A v EPO
MD11: H v QMB
MD12: A v JEY
MD13: H v VPH
MD14: A v ARC
FR4: A v SRZ

"So remind me, Father, what have you sought to teach us this World Cup?"

"I seek to teach you about humility, young Gleb. How did we play in the opening four matches?"

"Abysmally, Father."

"Yes, my son. Was not our record no wins, three draws, and one loss?"

"Indeed, Father."

"And how have we played over the last five matches?"

"Fantastically well, Father."

"Indeed, my son. Has not our record been four wins, one draw, and no losses?"

"Yes, Father."

"Yet what have we done differently these last five matches that we did not do in the first four?"

"'Bathed the Leper's Sores', Father?"

"Indeed, my son. You have been paying attention. It is only since we adopted the Bathe the Leper's Sores goal celebration that you have started to play better, though celebration might not be the right word. Why, even the Starblaydis noticed the ceremony. And what does this teach you?"

"That even though we now might be winning, it is only through adopting a stance of prayerful humility that acknowledges our unworthiness as sinning wretches not worthy to wash the feet of a leper that we can come closer to final victory."

"You have been paying attention, young Gleb. Why, our 3-1 victory over Universitus University came only through constant apology for every goal of Fr. Innocent's hattrick. Yes, only through admitting our unworthiness in each match can we go forward - or rather creep into the third qualifying spot in the last few matches. But it still counts. We may not win much, but we lose even less...."

Juan Tzimisces looked as his training clipboard. He was still unhappy about the Septentrionia result, but he had to admit the Worst Nightmare gambit had worked. Clearly the scouts had miscalculated when they sent the squad out to play in a world where no one could speak French; they'd only made the Septentrionians angry rather than terrified. Ah well, live and learn. The only other match they'd lost had been against Milchama, and it looked like they had access to some oneirology; not sure how that had happened, but it wasn't Juan's job to question what ISPI and SBIS might be up to with the Milchamans. And the the Leonard Cohens had been a masterstroke against that Alex Ruined Hallelujah lot.


Still, Juan was a little worried about Simeone. He'd seemed.... distracted this World Cup - a little obsessed about nightmares, almost as if the squad's overall strategy was seeping into his assistant coach's psyche. And then there was all of this reading of Imperial Dream philosophy. Could it be that Simeone was doubting his own existence? That sometimes happened when mundies moved to the Dreamed Realm - so much seemed malleable, so much seemed strange that they started to question whether or not they were real; by mundy standards, anyway. It wasn't really something worth worrying about, Juan thought; either you were, or you weren't - and what was real anyway?


Juan reminded himself that Ordinary Reality physical existence was temporary and transient; it could end when you didn't want it to. Juan sometimes glimpsed the leap of faith his old friend had taken to come here to the Empire. He tried to imagine what it was like to live in a world where everything was fixed and unchanging. He shivered. It was so... abnormal. Maybe he should talk to Simeone; there must be someone in ISPI who knew what it was like for mundies to live in the Empire; before the first closing, before the plague, a few hundred mundies had come to live in the Empire. There must be some of them about. Some of them must have adjusted, too. He resolved to find some for Simeone to talk to.


But first he had to talk to some oneirologists... they had some fantastic nightmares lined up for the Newmanistan match.

World Cup 44 Qualification - Group 2
MD1: 2-0 vs [42] West Zirconia (@ Munhwa Football Stadium - 65,000, Hanseong)
MD2: 0-2 @ [???] Sarzonia (@ Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium - 88,920, Woodstock)
MD3: 5-0 vs [76] Dariusville (@ Potala Palace - 34,000, Lasa)
MD4: 2-0 @ [54] Liventia (@ Colonial Stadium, Orean)
MD5: 2-0 vs [1] Valanora (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium - 200,000, Hangyeong)
MD6: 1-0 @ [34] Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colosseum - 599,000, Atlantea)
MD7: 3-0 vs [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium - 80,000, Gwangju)
MQ: 1-4 @ Sorthern Northland (@ somewhere new and special, but I haven't a clue...)
MD8: @ 4-0 [42] West Zirconia (@ Manchester Street - 85,000, Moorcroft)
MD9: 2-0 vs [???] Sarzonia (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium - 50,000, Daebo)
MD10: @ [76] Dariusville (@ Humphra Ignhorium - 2,000, some forest in Dariusville)
MD11: vs [54] Liventia (@ Silk Road Stadium - 56,000, Seoan)
MD12: @ [1] Valanora (@ Hatire Memorial - 60,000, Capri)
MD13: vs [34] Taeshan (@ Tae-majt Park - 69,000, Pyeongyang)
MD14: @ [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ hopefully not in a beer bottle)



MBC World Cup Special Report
http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t156/daehanjeiguk/news.png

Vengeance is Sweet - Han Beat Sarzonia

DAEBO - qw#@ser^uekyup))}}|{lk:jget... sORRY! mY cAT JUST JUMPED ON THE KEYBOARD, CHASING SOME DAMNED RAT... hOPEFULLY, THE EDITORS WILL GET RID OF THIS JUNK. oH, cAPS LOCK IS ON...

Fans who showed up to Seobanya today were treated to a great performance by the Han, who learned all of the mistakes from their away fixture in Woodstock, and a Sarzonia side that managed to forget how to play against the Han. As the enthusiastic fans watched the match, the Han got many early chances and almost in a manner not familiar to the Imperial Team got an early lead from Kim Daeeui's strike - all because the Sarzonian defense left him open. Not long after, Kim Daeeui had another chance to score, but found the goalkeeper in a rather harsh contest that left Kim on the ground. A post-match analysis found no significant injuries, but the shock rattled Kim enough to leave the ensuing penalty kick to Pak Gyuseon, who finished with a clinical shot past the goalkeeper. At that time, the fans were blaming the referee for "bias", as they suggested that the goalkeeper maliciously tackled Kim Daeeui. Of course, I'm inclined to support the fans, but only when there isn't a spot of evidence to the contrary (or if we're losing). As it happened, the goalkeeper did catch the ball, but only so slightly and managed to catch Kim more convincingly as the ball still went goalward (stopping against the post). In this instance, I agree with the referee, and he made the best call for the situation; of course, considering the fan reaction, I wouldn't have been surprised if he did award a red card, but I doubt that the goalkeeper showed any interest in maligning the player who just scored on him.

Anyway, if you wanted to watch a great match, come for the first half, and then watch keep-away for the remainder of the second half. Sarzonia visibly changed their tactics, but Ioshido comfortably reacted in kind. Defense managed to keep Sarzonia's chances to very slim, while capitalizing as well upon the constant offensive pressure to make some very scary counter-attacks. Perhaps the goalkeeper's foul helped the Han as well, because though they played offensively for the remainder of the match, the team was also visibly more cautious. No cards were issued, and though the Sarzonia offense tried their best to break through a stubborn defense that had learned to combat against their opponents' skills. Kim Jongguk hardly saw the ball - to his delight after what was perhaps a nightmare away in Woodstock. And for the 7th time this season, Kim Jongguk got a clean sheet.

Of course, the Sarzonian side did not walk away completely shamed. Combine the two matches, and you can see that Daehanjeiguk and Sarzonia walk away virtually even; it's not everyday that you can confess to have beaten a top-side team against every odd in the book, and I'm pretty sure that they will continue to build upon this foundation for their future seasons. As for the Han, they've shown that they can learn from their mistakes and capitalize on the opportunity to rectify their errors. But like every faithful fan, the Han need to make fewer mistakes, because - as the Han all know - playing in the World Cup is not as forgiving as in World Cup Qualification. One chance against each opponent for a win; one chance less if you lose the critical matches.

But for the moment, let's think over the Han's qualification chances. At the moment, the Han stand atop Group 2 with 24 points. With 5 matches remaining, the Han can steal away a total possible 15 points. If we're following the record from the first half of qualification, the Han can manage the task. But a tough match away against Valanora is on the books, and there are few who suggest that a 2-0 repeat is on the way; indeed, Valanora will be looking to make good on their opportunity to exact some vengeance upon the Han for their first loss in over two World Cups. Furthermore, the visit to Hatire Stadium will not be easy for the Han, who will be looking for at least one point: a goalless draw would be the best scenario, without winning. So assuming one point from Valanora, that leaves us with 13 points. What about our next against Dariusville? I'm pretty certain that Sarzonia, West Zirconia, and Taeshan all alike will be happy to see the Han win, as it means that their chances of fighting for a third qualification spot are considerably easier with one less (or at least one more distant) contender. Regardless, the Han will be headed for some forest to face the trees that were responsible for some accidents back in Lasa. A win here would basically ensure the Han qualify, as the best result from Sarzonia/Taeshan would be a win for 15 total points, on top of the Han's 27 points (a margin of at least 12 points will be required to dislodge the Han from the top three positions). Of course, unless the Han proceed to lose their next 5 matches, they probably deserve not to qualify, but I think with the way that Ioshido Toki has handled the team, we should be confident that the team will be qualifying, hopefully at the top of the group (for the first time).

TO: Empress Jessica of Newmanistan
FROM: Queen Katherine Alexandra Dallas of Jeruselem

Glad to hear from you. I hope the woes you have are temporary and things will settled down. It's lot better than being locked up as servant girl in an Elven temple for years anyway. I nearly died there due to being allergic some Elven foods!

I saw your Newmanistan team destroyed some team called something of Dust 5-1. Admittedly the opposition wasn't the standard to cause issues but it was a great win for your nation. Still, the team is still 6th in Group 9 but the team is only 4 points behind 2nd spot in Group 9.

My team have been doing great away from home beating the Purple Menace 3-1 away and then 3-2 away to Jaseuyeon who have beaten us recently. No idea about our crap home record this cup with two losses but at least we are winning away and beating good teams too. 6th seed Starblaydia in our group have been playing badly for their standards which is a sad thing.

I know you aren't like me and play football like my mother, sister and other relatives do as well but I'm sure you're like me and keep fit. Naturally for keeping up with the kids or another family and looking good for appearances sake. I have put on weight after quitting football but not much.

Thanks for your help with my idea. I want the best for Newmanistani players and if the local leagues can't give your players the money or experience, we're keen to help. I'm sure they'll like coming here, there's plenty of things to do and plenty of nice men and women around to oogle at. Even Qazians like this place. Have to go, some guy from a magazine called Women of the World wants to talk to me.

Skate

Henrí Savagé Stadium, New Recife....
Just after the game:

Turek: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?!?!?!?! That was the absol-freakin-utely worst effort I have ever seen out there. A 0-0 tie with a team that just barely made it into the Baptism of Fire??? We played like oxenshit out there and by some damn miracle, we didn't lose. Did we look past this game folks for St Samuel? The Dancougar and Rennidan matches take too much out of us. Were we paid not to win? That's the type of questions I have to answer out there. So what should I tell the press?

Michelle de Barre: That keeper of theirs Aminul Islam just was that good. Coach, we did everything right out there, but Akbarabad rose to the occasion out there.

Turek: That's what I've been looking for, ladies and gentlemen. Truth. Every time Qazox has lost in the past in either qualifiers or the Cup itself, we've not been honest with ourselves. 'The refs were against us, the weather was bad, I'm having an heart attack..."

Paul Haslett: Who's ever used that excuse?

Turek: Me. NOW. Someone...(Turek collapses on the floor..)

The Zito Zip

5 points were needed,
5 points were earned.
Now that we're back home;
the Wombats need to avenge,
earlier loss to Euro Federations.
Still 3 points behind,
with 5 matches left.
Schedule is favorable,
but wins not draws
are needed now.


Schedule:
MD1: Secristan D 1-1 (0-1-0)
MD2: Terreiro de Ogum W 1-0 (1-1-0)
MD3: @ Euro Federations L 1-2 (1-1-1)
MD4: Tynelia D 1-1 (1-2-1)
MD5: @ Rymeria D 2-2 (1-3-1)
MD6: Peisandros L 0-1 (1-3-2)
MD7: @ Lovisa D 1-1 (1-4-2)
MD8: @ Secristan W 1-0 (2-4-2)
MD9: @ Terreiro de Ogum D 1-1 (2-5-2)
MD10: Euro Federations
MD11: @ Tynelia
MD12: Rymeria
MD13: @ Peisandros
MD14: Lovisa

Pruxton Globe

On of Prux' biggest wins ever as they upset Cafundeu on the road 2-1, as Zombie Ronaldo scores two goals 7 minutes apart midway through the first half to take a 2-0 lead. Though Hubert cut the lead down to 2-1 in the 56th, somehow the Zombies held together (no pun intended) enough to win in one of the most difficult stadia to play in.

Now the 2nd of the 3 games is a trip to Bears Armed. A psychic, who wishes to remain un-named, determined that sha-bears within Bears Armed are the parties responsible for the plagues of beetles, crows, vultures and every other misfortune the team has experienced so far these qualifiers. Dr. Mkembe has asked that every witch doctor, psychic and sorcerers within Prux to travel to Bears Armed, to counter-act the sha-bears' magic with true magik.


The schedule is this: (along with our Predictions for the Zombies)
Game 1: @ Yafor 2 LOST 0-2
Game 2: vs. Cafundeu LOST 1-2
Game 3: vs. Bears Armed WON 3-2
Game 4: vs. Iseerussiafrommyhouse LOST 1-2
Game 5: @ Brightonburg Draw 1-1
Game 6: vs. The Blouman Empire Draw 2-2
Game 7: @ Myedvedeya WIN 4-1
Game 8: vs. Yafor 2 LOST 0-3
Game 9: @ Cafundeu W 2-1
Game 10: @ Bears Armed (Win 2-1)
Game 11: @ Iseerussiafrommyhouse (Win 4-2)
Game 12: vs. Brightonburg (Win 4-1)
Game 13: @ The Blouman Empire (Loss 1-2)
Game 14: vs. Myedvedeya (Win 2-1)

PREDICTED RECORD: 7-3-4 24pts 3rd in Group.
ACTUAL RECORD: 3-2-4 11pts; 6th in group.

Akbarabad gain significant point


The Akbarabad national team earned arguably it's most significant point of the entire qualifying campaign with a 0-0 away draw with group leaders and favourites Qazox. It was the first time Qazox had dropped points in the campaign and the first time they had failed to score, and that too at home. Akbarabad's hero was keeper Aminul Islam who made a number of fine saves frustrating the Qazox attack time and time again. Indeed he put the team in such a strong position, that they were unlucky not to score (and therfore win) at the other end. Now it remains to be seen whether the team can build on this and gain fourth place or higher in this campaign.

THE ROCKET REPORT

TAKE A MOMENT TO CELEBRATE

Quintessence of Dust- Before World Cup qualifying began and before we had to deal with the arrogance of Empress Jessica’s statement, we were eyeing a special achievement. There aren’t many football players that can say they have achieved 100 international goals. It’s not an empty list, a quick walk through the World Cup Hall of Fame will show you a handful of names that have hit this special number. It’s a small list, and a special list. And now that list has one more name to be added to it. Newmanistanian great Jeremy McAllister finally hit 100, while adding #101 for good measure in the road match against Quintessence of Dust, a match in which the Rockets looked very good in, defeating the home team 5-1. They are in 6th place, but just three points out of a spot which would qualify them. However, they are also a point behind Milchama, a club that has also been surging.

Let’s not worry too much about that scenario just yet. It’s important, but for a day it looked as if the Rockets were in a very good mood. J-Mac’s accomplishment aside, it seemed as if the team had been rejuvenated. The sponsorship deal looming with Daehanjeiguk-based Samseong was reportedly accepted by Brian Carson and the team last night according to a Rocket Report source that is close to the team. Samseong, who most can easily tie in to the SBCC Cup, also sponsors domestic clubs in powerful leagues in Candelaria And Marquez and Cafundeu. This will be the first time, however, that the electronics giant has chosen to sponsor a national team, and it has definitely gone a long way to pick up the spirits of the country. One may ask why Samseong would do such a thing. Well, the answer is obvious, isn’t it? Newmanistan’s frighteningly good economy definitely is something appeals to their executives, and with the primary export of Newmanistan being automobile manufacturing, there is definitely room here for a large company of consumer goods with Samseong is to establish a market and flourish. Perhaps, don’t even be surprised to see Samseong hook up with an organzation such as Rocket Motors to be a supplier of electronic parts in their vehicles. Certainly, they also have the potential for more business-to-business contract here too, not just business-to-consumer. In the consumer markets, the purchase of Samseong products can do two things for the common Newmanistanian. It will show that you support the sponsor of the national team, yes. But also, it can also be a symbol. A symbol of protesting against the Empress. They know what they’re doing, and this would be a brilliant investment. With this, a World Cup 45 is likely assured for us, and for the players. What a way to pick up their spirits. This probably made the fact that the Rockets played their best match of qualifying not a coincidence at all, and being able to relax on the road, tune out all the negativity and focus on playing football like a football player should. Quintessence of Dust was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time tonight, and it showed in the 5-1 outcome.

The Rockets began the match with that special jump. A youthful flair, if you wanna call it, a lot like we saw out of this team when they first tried to qualify for World Cup 40. Feeling they had this second chance now, they just seemed to go out there and enjoy the moment with this new life. It looked as if Quintessence of Dust just wanted to try and ride this out, and hope that it would just be a quick spark and eventually things would get back to normal, and they could look to establish themselves later. Coach Jerry Dixon appeared a little annoyed with the Rockets dominance of possession, but focused more on the positioning of his players, and for a while, they did a pretty good job holding their own. In goal, Winchester Furman made a couple good stops early on, especially in the 11th minute, robbing an effort by Alex Parnett by punching it over the bar, and then on the ensuing corner, he made a terrific leaping save on a header attempt by Jeremy McAllister. For the moment, Jeremy was denied his 100th career international goal, but not for much longer. In the 23rd minute, a run by Parnett up the center up the pitch set the play up. His pass to McAllister was spot, and J-Mac went for the top corner. It was a goal scorer’s goal, placed where Furman would have no chance. Goal #100 for J-Mac and a somewhat extended celebration by the players. The referee was aware of the significance of the score, and allowed for a longer then usual celebration. J-Mac made sure to keep the ball and maybe one day it will be with him if he ever makes it to the World Cup Hall of Fame. When the Quintessence of Dust fans were informed of the historic significance of the score, Jeremy got some respectful applause from the home fans. There was however, no applause when Newmanistan scored their second goal of the match in the 36th minute. For all the good saves that Furman made earlier, this is one that he would love to have back. It didn’t seem like all that tricky of a shot by Jennifer Vilardi, but it would somehow find the back of the net to put Newmanistan up 2-nil. Because the celebration for the first goal went on a little longer then expected, the referee gave four minutes of stoppage of time for the first half, and the Rockets made use of this time, scoring in the third minute of it. It would be Jennifer Vilardi again, off a nice pass from Alex Parnett to make it 3-nil as we headed to the locker room. Both coaches had very different expressions on their faces, for sure.

During halftime, the Rockets seemed very relaxed. Finally, good things were happening. They were in complete control of this game, and J-Mac was able to get 100 goals. Those were both very good reasons, but the biggest of all was simply that they knew that there could be more for them. With Samseong behind them, they could be in World Cup 45. No one was really thinking about how differently things would be run under their guidance, and frankly none of them really cared. The fact that there would be guidance was all that was necessary. There was that feeling of an us against the world mentality, even though most of the world has expressed their support of the team. Players have received offers from other countries, and perhaps we will start to see some players make their formal decisions in the next few days about where they will resume their football careers. But that spark, the spark that we had seen in the Baptism of Fire, that we had seen in Di Bradini Cup 4, and in World Cup 40 qualifying. The spark of new nation wanting to make an impact. It was back. Maybe just for a day. Maybe longer. They’ve overcome their own Empress. They could overcome anything now.

As the second half began, Newmanistan quickly put to rest any hope of a Quintessence of Dust comeback in the 50th minute. It would be here that Jeremy McAllister would extend his goal total to #101, now beginning to make some wonder where it will eventually come to an end when he is all said and done and where he will placed in World history. Should Jeremy McAllister be considered among the greatest players in the World Cup’s history, if Newmanistan never qualifies for a World Cup during his tenure? We’ll let the media debate that one, but the players, with this spark behind them seem focused on getting to the World Cup Proper more then we have seen during all of qualifying and it’s really quite amazing. Even Brian Carson looked as if he was feeling it too, and with the game in control, he put in three substitutes between the 60th and 70th minutes that had not seen much playing time to date. Chris Johnston, Bobby Foley, and Brian Rafferty all got their chance, and in the 76th minute, Rafferty made the most of his by scoring a goal that was nicely set up by Brett Carlson. A quick Quintessence of Dust rush immediately after led to a 77th minute score by Dennis Young to spoil the clean sheet, but that’s all the significance that score would have, and the Rockets would hold to the victory. It evens the team’s record at 4-1-4. More work needs to be done, but this is something that can be built on.

The Peisandros Daily
Sandrian team not likely to qualify; changes needed - Nicola Diamandi di Samarina

With just one point from their last three outings, it has become clear that Peisandros are really going to struggle to qualify for the football World Cup. While they still sit, surprisingly, in third place, the team from Green Wombat look far more likely to proceed to the World Cup. For Peisandros, the best they can probably hope for is a Cup of Harmony berth, but even that could be unlikely, given the lowly ranking they possess and lack of international experience. However that decision will be left to the hosts. Personally, I do not believe the Peisandros team has done enough to warrant being invited to such a prestigious tournament.

The problem, I believe, lies in the management and leadership of the team; namely coach Alexander Pappas and captain Urias Halkias. There is plenty of talent in the squad, infact the board of selectors have done a fantastic job. But the talent is being mishandled, misguided and generally poorly led.

Firstly coach Alexander Pappas. Since receiving the job for Peisandros' first taste of international football before the Oxen Cup, he has done little to further the teams best interests or develop and nurture the abundance of talent available to him. Indeed there was a good run in the Baptism of Fire, but I think that can be put down to the aforementioned raw talent. The players were pretty lucky in many of the games too and were playing terrible teams. No, I believe that Alexander Pappas has been detrimental to football in Peisandros.

A competent coach would have been able to guide the team to a tournament victory there and I've spoken to players who were disappointed with how they were handled. From an anonymous player:

"Yeah, it was pretty disappointing to be honest. He wasn't very clear with us, half of the time we didn't know when training was or what the plans were for the game. I mean, it could have been a lot better."

Statements like these show how little faith the players have in their coach and should send alarm bells ringing to the Peisandros Football Association. His days at coach should be numbered, but there is a slight problem. There are no outstanding coaches in Peisandros. Finding a replacement could be a tricky operation, but it would probably be worth it. Pappas has had his chance and has failed -- especially if Peisandros don't qualify for the World Cup or Cup of Harmony.

Then there is the current captain of the team, Halkias. A player who wouldn't be missed in the starting eleven, he probably got the nod just because his father is a legend of Peisandros sport. Unfortunately for us, he is a terrible leader who lacks the respect of some senior club members in Peisandros. As one captain of a top league team said:

"I still don't know why he was selected as vice-captain of the early internationals, let alone captain for the World Cup campaign. He does a pretty average job as Olympia FC captain. They aren't exactly a great team and team unity over there isn't that special. Maybe the board of selectors don't know about it or they didn't do enough research, I'm not sure. There are probably four or five better captains going around the top league."

Statements like these are shared around the top tier of club players, but none of the current international players would comment on Halkias as a captain. I believe that, as with Pappas, his time is limited. If the Sandrians can not start winning some games and play some entertaining football, then the board of selectors will come to realise they need a better leader of men. The current negative style of football which is being employed by the team, is turning fans away. While the stadium was full for the last home game, it was mainly because Sandrians came to see Tynelia; a slick and well run football team. What were they rewarded with? A dull nil all draw brought about by Peisandros attempting to get as many players behind the ball as possible.

Changes should be eminent in these two roles, but it seems that many in our fair country are ignorant of how far these two have plunged Peisandros football in to disrepair. I can tell you now though citizens, I, as a distinguished football journalist, recognise the danger we are in and propose vast changes after the World Cup qualifying is over.

Dancougar News!!
WOOOOOOO PITT NUMBER ONE YAYAYAYA oh wait, I didn't go there, so I don't care.

Metro cards can't buy Operata a break: Operata are literally building from the ground up, and last night, the Wings showed them that there's more work to be done before they can join the surface dwellers of Urna Electronica in the qualification zone. The 3-0 road result restored some order in group six on a day when leaders Qazox were shocked by Akbarabad. For Dancougar, it was an important win to restore some lost confidence and reignite the offense.

"We needed to hit the ground running and get some of that luster back," said Dan Potts, who figures to be stretching his body to the limit now that Port Royal is entering the TakilQuip Champions' Cup against Septentrionian side Revolution FC. But he shook off any mention of fatigue during the pre-game warm-up. "I've got juice. I know what I'm capable of. I'm going to do what I can whenever I'm on the field."

The Wings were more prepared, as teams are starting to learn that by challenging Dancougar in the midfield early, they can unsettle the lineup and create space for more players to go forward. Operata, though, looked completely outclassed. The Wings moved the ball around well early but were patient in their build-up. Rather than force passes inside, they were content to knock the ball around the perimeter and just maintain possession. Potts took a crack in the 7th minute that forced Heitor Vila Madalena into action, and Alexei Voronzoff followed in the 10th with a low shot that slipped through the defense and nearly caught the 'keeper off guard.

Before we get too into the game, let's talk about the venue. Operata is a series of tubes, and you can't play football in there because if you've got football players streaming through that subway, what happens to your own personal subway? It gets delayed. Officials had to find a large, wide open space for the two somewhere in the city of Caixa Dois. It turned out to be an underground warehouse connected to the subway lines by service tunnels, and the few fans who made the trip from Dancougar had a hell of a time figuring out the fare system and navigating through the doodie water and poo gas. (I prefer the term 'crud vapors.' -Ed)

Voronzoff got the opening goal in the 12th minute after the Wings finally found some space at the top of the box. Dylandy lashed a shot into the box, which bounced off a defender. Madalena dove in the direction of the shot and was caught out of position when the deflection occurred, giving Voronzoff a wide-open look. He rushed onto the ball and corralled it, poking home from ten yards out to give the Wings a 1-0 lead. They kept up the pace and made it 2-0 through Shiro Furuya just six minutes later. Operata were completely on the back heel and the Wings were able to hack away until Furuya got two free steps into the box, letting him size up a shot which he placed just between the post and the diving Madalena.

"We needed to show the rest of the group we're still a threat," said Furuya, who scored his fourth goal of qualifying. It's one of his best international campaigns, which he attributes to getting more playing time from Solomon Bilbao than he has in years past. "We have a lot of guys who are willing and able to contribute."

Operata managed a single shot in the first half, and it was a cracker. Mário Barra Funda got a good look in the 25th minute after running onto a through ball with a step on Brad Leeds. He put everything he had into the shot, which flew straight at Watanabe before bending late for the near post. Watanabe just reacted in time to punch it wide, much to the chagrin of the Operatans in attendance. Leeds shook it off and went back to business. The Wings prevented Operata from penetrating the final third for the remainder of the half, and before the break, upped the lead to 3-0. Kazuki Midorikawa got his first goal of qualifiers after Dan Potts drew three defenders to set up a back-heel to the midfielder.

The Wings turned down the tempo in the second half and drew whistles from the crowd for just playing keep-away. A few more shots came and went, with Potts coming close to getting number four when he hit the post in the 66th. But the jubilant mood on the Dancougar bench was more than worth the trip. Two straight losses had let some nagging doubts creep in from within and without, but at ten points clear with five games remaining, the Wings seem to be back in the driver's seat.

Group six day in review: A huge shock in Qazox! The Phoenix, eight wins from eight games and averaging a healthy three goals per game, were stunned by Akbarabad, which packed the defense in a 0-0 draw. Superb play by goalkeeper Aminul Islam kept the home team out of the net. Elsewhere, Rennidan and Kelssek picked up important victories. For Kelssek, it kept them just two points behind Dancougar and maintained an eight-point cushion of Rennidan, who will need a monumental run to salvage a disappointing campaign.

Few changes for Kelssek: Solomon Bilbao knows the Wings need this win. All of a sudden, the massive gap between the top two and the rest of group six isn't there. In its place, a margin so slim that the next game is enough to completely change the group six power structure. Kelssek were beaten comfortably at home 3-1 the last time these two teams met, but the momentum may have shifted as the teams go into the final stretch.

Fans in Yuki City will see essentially the same lineup which beat Operata tonight, with the only chance being the rotation of Shishio Jinguuji in for Shiro Furuya. Dan Potts will finally get his shot against Port Royal teammate and Kelssek defender Alexandre Tremblay, and he won't be satisfied without a goal. Bilbao won't be satisfied without the points.

STARTING XI: Watanabe; Berber, Leeds, Yukikaze; Dylandy, Voronzoff, Underwood, Midorikawa, Landro; Jinguuji, Potts
SUBSTITUTES: Brengle; Yamada, Carter; Klingensmith, Hayashi; Furuya, Stadler

========================================

Clang, clang... clang clang. The mechs advanced in a single line across the rocky plain leading up to Mount Fujiko. The fighting had destroyed a lot of forest on the eastern slope, which gave the commandos less cover. But they were all bouncing behind the Lancers in jeeps towing both men and explosives. At the head of the jeep group were Brandenstein and Stephen. Stephen looked up and saw the Rhinemaidens also advancing slowly, having pulled into GUARDIAN mode for hovering flight. Behind them all was the Dancougar.

"We'll be in their line of fire in two minutes!" radioed Inoue. "As soon as we confirm Gray Sister, fan out according to your mission plan. Dancougar will cover the jeeps until the treeline."

"We're finally going to finish this," Tetsuya said. His tone was stone cold. "Hey, Prince Daniel, can we use that thing you mentioned earlier?"

"We didn't have time to test it fully, but I wouldn't doubt the professor," Daniel responded. "He's got a knack for coming through in tight spots like this."

"Glad to hear it," Tetsuya replied.

"Your highness, I..." Jun began. When he'd first arrived, all she could remember was being happy to see him. Her spirits had been raised and she felt like she had more energy. But the fighting had put a serious damper on that. He'd been working so hard to become a productive pilot that he'd hardly been paying her any attention. "When we get back... when the battle ends, there's something I want to say to you."

Daniel smiled. He could hear her voice quivering a bit, as if uncertain or afraid. "Then you'll have my undivided attention," he replied. Tetsuya rolled his eyes and Joe stifled a knowing laugh. Daniel got on his radio and dialed up his sister. "Erica, remember what we've taught you. Your team is there to help you. Be the leader we all know you can be."

"Roger that," she replied. "You heard him, Freya team, look alive!"

There was an explosion at the top of the mountain. A stream of demons burst forth, flying up in a spiral to a chorus of thunder. "NOW!" yelled Tetsuya. On his signal, the Lancers divided into four teams of four and fanned out. The two Rhinemaiden teams in the sky converted back into fighter mode and charged in. And the Dancougar now took its position ahead of the jeeps and let them forward, fully expecting the final titan to show itself. "Come on, you bastard, we know you're in there!" he yelled.

As if on cue, a pillar of fire rose from the summit and took a humanoid form. From deep within the mountain, there was a booming, hearty laugh. "Our strongest titan, Kravshera!" The monster started to descend. Wherever it stepped, flames shot up. What remained of the forest was starting to catch fire.

"All right, Colonel, here's where we drop you off!" radioed Daniel. "The opening is north of here. We'll lead the fire titan south according to plan."

"Good hunting, sire!" Brandenstein replied. With all the chaos around them, the jeeps were able to rumble forward unmolested and undiscovered. He smiled as he looked down as his briefcase. Yes... according to plan. It helps that everyone in this is so damn predictable!

"The Dancou Burn won't work against him," said Joe.

"Damn, and that was going to be my opener!" laughed Tetsuya. "Let's see how solid this guy is. Lasers!" Turrets on the body opened up and burst forth with rapid fire. The beams crashed into the titan and it threw its hands up as a shield, but it continued to progress forward. "Not bad! All right, then... LIGHT COME FORTH!" He drew his unit's energy blade and waited the few seconds it took to form. He held it back and prepared to make a swipe.

"Huh, that's weird..." Joe said, watching his monitors. "Hey, Tetsuya, we're not getting the same kind of power!"

"Maybe we didn't recharge after all?" asked Daniel.

"All the more reason to end this sooner!" cried Tetsuya. "DAN~COU~KEN!" He slashed... and the titan caught his sword. "What?!" The Dancougar was forced backwards as the beast pushed against the blade. It then held its hands up to its head and started to form a fireball in midair.

"He's going to take out the guys behind us!" yelled Jun.

"Like hell he is!" Daniel replied with confidence. "Tetsuya!"

The titan fired. Dancougar brought the left arm up and took a defensive stance. "Are you crazy, that's not going to..." Jun threw her hands up over her console as the light from the fireball grew brighter and brighter. Closer and closer. The left arm glowed and a visible field formed directly on front of the unit.

"DAN~COU~BREAKER!!!" Tetsuya shouted. The fireball crashed into the field and the arm buckled back, but only for a second. The machine dug into the ground as the fireball wedged itself into the field, but it started to dissipate as the energy faded. With a final shout, Tetsuya pushed forward and sent the fireball right back at the titan. With a cry, the monster was struck and a huge explosion sent out a shockwave that temporarily halted fighting all over the mountain.

The team has arrived in Tundra Falls, where they are greeted in the airport by former World Cup team members Tony Borsinger and Kevin Lewis. (Borsinger is the captain of the Tundra Falls Mariners while Lewis is a retired Mariner).

Borsinger: Hey guys, welcome back to Tundra Falls.

Carson: Hello Tony, Kevin; always nice to see you two.

Lewis: Yeah, great job against Quintessence of Dust, and congratulations, Jeremy!

McAllister: Thanks!

Lewis: So how many of those 100 did I assist on?

McAllister: Haha, quite a few I would imagine!

Borsinger: We are here for a reason though, coach.

Carson: What would that be?

Borsinger: Well it’s the match now against the Holy Empire. Their dreamed realm still promises to deliver the Worst Nightmare to you. Now, I heard that you guys had some strange dreams while you were there earlier.

Carson: Uhm, how did you know that?

Borsinger: (in an eerie kind of voice): I know, coach. I just know.

Carson: Ok, then what’s up?

Borsinger: (whispering): Come.... come with me, we must go to the Proving Grounds at once!

Brooker: Fine, but do you have to use that voice to add effect?

Borsinger: Yes, yes I do. Ok, it just gets me in the mood. Don’t knock it, this is serious.

(The team buses it to the Proving Grounds, where Borsinger leads them into the home locker room of the football field. The locker room has candles lit all over)

Vilardi: Oh boy, another one of these.

Drummond: Shhhhh.....

Borsinger: I must have your attention. The spirits...... the spirits of Tundra Falls are angry. Very, very angry.

McAllister: Why?

Borsinger: There are several reasons. But right now they are very angry because they are being tested. And challenged by another supernatural force that is also trying to occupy their territory.

Brooker: The Holy Empire, right?

Borsinger: Yessssss.... The Dreamed Realm. It is here. It is trying to curse you, it is trying to give you bad dreams, nightmares, your worst nightmare. The spirits will not have that. They are trying to protect you. But it is a clash. And they do not like that. They tell me of a presence. The presence of a man who knows us...... but is conspiring against us. The Dreamed Realm doesn’t like it. Not at all. They aren’t used to this kind of spiritual challenge.

Carson: Ok, so what can we do about this.

Borsinger: We will make a sacrifice to our spirits. I have chosen this. I have been told that there is symbolism in this.

McAllister: Your Di Bradini Cup 4 championship ring? Why?

Borsinger: I ask all of us that have this ring. To throw it into the fire as I preach to the spirits of the great Tundra Falls.

McAllister: Why though? And can I still keep my trophy?

Borsinger: There is a feeling of a Di Bradini presence working against us. Conspiring against us but most importantly, against the spirits. We must make this sacrifice to give the our spirits the strength to overcome those working for the Dreamed Realm. We will “REVERSE THE CURSE”, we will beat them at their own game, and the spirits of Tundra Falls will give the Dreamed Realm their worst nightmare.

Carson: You say reverse the curse. Is that the Di Bradini Curse I was haunted about?

Borsinger: Wait? You’ve been told of the Di Bradini Curse?

Carson: When we were in the Dreamed Realm.

Borsinger: Then it is alive and it is greater then I thought. The importance is greater now to show that we value the spirits of the great Tundra Falls more then Di Bradini. In doing so, we will have our own supernatural presence, one that will ensure us that no other source can curse us, because we have our spirits at our back. Now, place the rings into the fire and profess your loyalty to the spirits and against the Curse of Di Bradini.

(McAllister, Drummond, Brooker, Kusler, Hennis, Parnett, and Carson remove their rings, toss them into the fire and offer a statement of encouragement to the spirits).

Borsinger: Mighty spirits of Tundra Falls, accept these gifts as our symbol of support to you and against the powers which are trying to challenge you and give nightmares to these players. Ensure that they will not fall victim to such nightmare, and let those from the Dreamed Realm know that they have no power on these sacred grounds of Tundra Falls. Let it be a feeling in which they have never experienced before, a rejection of their desires. Let it be, in fact, their worst nightmare. Doing so shall make their team weak. Let them know that in your house, you rule. With these sacrifices provided by the players, rid them of any curse that may or may not have been placed on them. And now, one more thing.....

(Borsinger takes a voodoo doll of Empress Jessica and tosses it into the fire).

Borsinger: Let this be a symbol of the team’s rejection of the Empress’ decision to cut ties of the national football team. We thank Samseong for stepping aboard, but if the Empress was working in collaboration with those who wish to curse this team, then this cannot be tolerated. The Empress has angered the country and I know has also angered you. But do not take it out on these men and women. For they are on your side. And finally, do not punish coach Carson for his failure to name me or any Tundra Falls player to the World Cup side. It was done in the best interest of the team. Let them see glory. Guide them to a glorious victory on your turf, working with Margaret if you need too, for if nothing else to show those of the Dreamed Realm, that any powers that they have do not exist on these hallowed, sacred grounds. Amen.

Team: Amen.

McAllister: Wow, I feel better now.

Brooker: Yeah me too.

Vilardi: Can we put the fire out now?

Borsinger: Yes, yes you may.

SDOS TO MAKE CUP OF HARMONY PLANS

Another loss. We were supposed to win these home games. That was the plan. It begs the question, why do we make plans to begin with? The Secristan Department of Sports doesn’t know, and since you can’t blame the referees this time for a very poor performance against Euro Federations, more plans are going to be made. These will be for the Cup of Harmony. Much of the fan interest has gone away now that the Millionaires are not likely to qualify. We only say not likely because it is, technically, not official yet though it is inevitability. This has been a terrible World Cup for the SDOS. The road loaded schedule at the beginning meant that fans would already know the probable fate of the team before the home games started, and when that fate is what it is now, the average bid price per seat is really going to plummet. Plummet nearly to the point where maybe even some beggars could get in.

Kate Simpson says that the Secristan Department of Sports may respond in a harsh manner when it comes to Cup of Harmony, “Last time we allowed our World Cup roster to continue to play in the Cup of Harmony however that will not be the case this time. If they want to be back, they will have to place another bid. We have to try and recover these losses that we endured somehow. This will also create a chance for other people to perhaps play in the Cup of Harmony.” It is customary for Cup of Harmony rosters to be made up of the teams World Cup qualifying team, but not unprecedented for there to be a makeover which the SDOS is proposing may just occur. This 1-4-4 record is a huge disappointment. But at least we are not 0-2-7 like Myedvedeya. The SDOS put together this list of the records of Baptism of Fire 30 teams in their second go-around:

Urna Eletronica: 5-1-3
Docky: 4-3-2
Chutnusak: 4-0-5
Cassadaigua: 2-4-3
Secristan: 1-4-4
Myedvedeya: 0-2-7

The finalists are at the bottom. Go figure.

The Sorthern Observer

Lewis Graham: “Fans can win SLANI game”

It's a cold and bitter day, on the banks on the Thames. Cold enough for the river to have been covered with a thin sheet of ice, the grass in Kingsmeadow is rock solid, and about ten minutes upstream is Scours Lane, home of Sorthern Third Division team, Reading Town. It is here that for the quarter of an hour I've been waiting. Waiting for Lewis Graham, Reading Town's star player and newly capped Sorthern hour. Eventually he arrives, some twenty minutes late. He apologises profoundly and explains that his car failed to start due to the cold leaving him to get the bus. That them broke down leaving him to walk the rest of the way.

It seems somewhat matching of his career that he arrives late. He is now 26 and has only just made his international début, and still finds himself playing in the lower reaches of the Sorthern Football League. He laughs when I mentions this, and agrees saying, “Yeah, in a way suppose that journey could be a metaphor for my career so far. Hopefully it won't be so bad getting home.” Graham was by all accounts a controversial selection for the national team, already in his mid-twenties and never having played higher than the Third Division, some considered it to be a sign that Merginn Moffat was trying to make sure that Sorthern Northland didn't qualify for the World Cup. Did he ever get a feeling of the fans being against him? “No, not at all. I don't think the fans ever had any problem with me, I think the problem was that a unheard of Third Division player had been called up instead of someone like Jon Andrews. I'm sure me being the player in question wasn't the problem. I mean I was as surprised as anyone, and had it been another Third Division player instead of me, I'd have been saying, hold on, what's going on here? But if you get the opportunity to play for your country you aren't going to say no, are you and I feel I've shown my worth over the last few games.”

Six goals in his last five matches for Sorthern Northland including a last minute equaliser again Kenavt have certainly proved handy recently. “It took a while to actually get a game, but once I did, I hit the ground running and haven't looked back.” As good as he's been, he can count himself very lucky to have played those games as he explains, “I played against Googlewoop because of Lee Waywide being under arrest at the time, then the next two games were friendlies with the manager experimenting a bit, and [Giṓrgos] Karyōtákīs of course broke his leg in one of those. Lee's our captain so if he's available he's nearly always going to start so it's down to me and Ham Hyi-San to battle it out for the other place, and when you're up against someone of his quality you have to be good to get the nod over him. Also I've had a lot of luck getting into the team, and I know that a bit of bad luck could get me out so I'm just taking every chance a can as best I can.”

Given that he has taken his chance at international level so well, it's almost a given that there will be transfer speculation about him, with a number of First Division scouts said to keeping an eye on him, does he then see international games as a chance to earn a move to a big club? “I'm not too bothered about all that speculation to be honest, I'm happy at Reading Town and if I stay here, then that's great. If a bigger club comes in for me and it's a good deal for everyone then I think I'd take it. After all everyone wants to play as high as the can and in I get the chance to prove myself in the top flight I'd like to take that. But getting a transfer up their isn't a big concern for me really, doing as well for Reading Town and Sorthern Northland as I can is my priority, with the game against Capitalizt SLANI being my main concern at this moment in time.”

The SLANI game is one being touted in the media as the key to qualification for the World Cup, but one that Sorthern Northland has little chance in, I ask Lewis if he agrees. “Well it's a key game, yeah, they all are now. Every game is a cup final for us now, but I wouldn't say we have little chance against SLANI. They're the favourites for sure, but we're at home and we'll have the Sorthern fans behind us. People often speak of the crowd being like a twelfth man. For us they aren't. They're a twelfth, thirteenth and fourteenth man. That is a huge advantage to have, and they could well be the difference in us beating or not beating SLANI, so I urge everyone going to get behind us, the fans really could be the difference.”

And our chances of qualifying for the World Cup?

“I think we'll get there, we're not in the best position at the moment, but if we get wins over Jeru FC and Deep South Sopia then I'm sure we'll qualify.”

Dear Sir(s)/Madam(s)

I have come across the blueprints of a major engineering challange, and despite the specificity that the plans come with, I have yet to find an engineering team that wishes to try to accomplish the task. The task being, create a space elevator that services the space station in orbit directly above the metropolis of Monaven. If you decide to take up this enourmous challange, and succeed, you and your team will be handsomely paid and rewarded for the accomplishment. Money is no issue, so you would be allowed to have as large or as small as a team as you desired.

Sincerely,
Tobias Raynor

It was a long night's drinking session, something during which many exciting ideas can come. Mostly this session was a wake for the mournful dirge of a draw to Draistania. Starblaydia were fourth in the Group Seven table, out of the Qualifying zone. If things didn't perk up and finished like that, they would have to be faced with a top-ten team playing in the Cup of Losers. This they contemplated, as well as how hot Saffi Mehzubontin was.

The were Dwarves, after all.

"'Ere, 'ere!" one of them yelled, stumbling in and waving a piece of paper above his head, "You'll never guess what's on this paper!"

"Then Ah'm nay playing," said a sad looking blue-bearded fellow in the corner, nursing a mug of ale.

"Hot nude pics o'Saffi?" said a more excited-looking dark-haired Dwarf.

"No, Bozza," the first one said, jabbing his finger at the words printed on the page, "it's from some posh foreign elf layin' down a challenge!"

"'Cos if I'll never guess," the blue-bearded one continued, "then there's nay point in playin'."

"What sorta challenge?" Bozza said, obviously disappointed.

The first Dwarf explained. By 'explaining', he of course read out the e-mail, repeating a few of the sentences for effect as he went. A space elevator. A thirty-six thousand kilometre-long rope from grass to the stars - geosynchronous orbit, to be precise - designed to carry men and materials from earth to the heavens. An incredible piece of advanced high-quality engineering. It would be the ultimate expression of Dwarven engineering superiority - if they could pull it off. That it was for a well-known elf made it doubly enticing. The room went suddenly very quiet.

"Ah'd have preferred nekkid pics," Bozza said.

"Ye will have real nekkid lassies if we can pull this one off," the first Dwarf yelled, "just think of t'prestige, t'money, t'jewels, t'legacy fer our descendants!"

"T'lasses!" Bozza's eyes went wide. A space elevator might end up looking fairly phallic, after all. Perhaps that would bring them in.

"The right bloody headache from workin' w'all them pointy eared, skinny, beardless longshank Elves," Bluebeard said, the last word coming out as a curse, "Ah would have guessed 'Space Elevator' on mah third go, besides."

"Let's bloody do it!" the first yelled, raising his newly-filled mug of ale to the prospect.

"Aye!" they cheered as one.

...


"Does anybody know anything aboot Engineering?" Bozza said.

"Dunnae be so daft," Bluebeard said, "we're t'Runic guild, what do we ken of buildin' stuff?"

"Ah'll ask the Engineerin' Union when Ah'm not hungover tomorra," the first Dwarf said. And he would be.

And CUT! Take ten! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14394580&postcount=14)

Minutes after the Sarzonian national team finished a disappointing 2:2 draw in front of 78,914 at Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium in Woodstock, angry supporters pelted the field with whatever they could find.

After all, Sarzonia (3-4-3, 13 points, fourth place Group 2) took a 2:0 lead a two-goal effort by forward Reese Nichols. West Zirconia's defence focused all its attention on fellow striker Matt Lynch, leaving Nichols wide open for a 23rd minute tally. Lynch drew a penalty in the box after a hard foul, which led to Nichols burying a penalty kick in the 56th minute.

After that, the Newmanistani referee sent defender Spencer Hicks off in the 72nd minute for what he described as an aggressive tackle. Forced to play a man down after making its three substitutions, Sarzonia tried to play nine players behind the ball in an effort to steal the three points, but West Zirconia scored twice.

The second goal was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, however. The referee signalled a controversial handball on Lynch, who argued that he didn't attempt to play the ball. Fortunately for Lynch, he wasn't booked, but the ensuing free kick made the Stars feel as though they had two standings points and a more favourable position in the race for the third World Cup qualifying slot stolen from them.

When Woodstock Police arrived with full riot gear, the crowd dispersed, but Incorporated Football Federation Chairman Dave Wilson indicated his intent to file a formal protest.

"We believe the Newmanistani official showed serious errors in judgment," he said. "Errors that suggest prejudice against the Stars."

Manager Brian Wilson gave only a curt handshake to West Zirconia coach Roy Hazell after the match.

"They did not deserve the [standings] point," Brian Wilson said. "I made it clear to him when I saw him at midfield after the match."

Sarzonia's next match is a home fixture against world No. 34 Taeshan. The Stars played to a 1:1 draw away in the previous meeting. No doubt, however, that Sarzonia play with additional motivation for the Taeshan match.

"We would be playing that match with a sense of urgency regardless," Lynch said. "Now? We're going to be playing with a lot more fire under our [tails]."

Win, loss or draw, it wouldn't have mattered to Rymerian Soccer Association President Scooter Boscoe. The fact that Rymeria lost a rare actual home result to Peisandros 2-0 at National Stadium in Rymeria City mattered not a bit.

After Rymerian Coach Chris Hannan sounded off about the Cup of Harmony without consulting with him, he decided Hannan had to go. He looked at the job description for national team coach two, three times. He typed a few keystrokes in the e-mail software.

A secretary walked in and noticed what he was doing.

"Scooter," she asked. "What are you doing?"

"I'm advertising for a new national team coach."

"Don't we already have one?"

"We're going to replace him."

"Why?"

"He hasn't gotten the results we want."

"Scooter," she said. "We don't exactly have all the pieces of a World Cup championship-caliber team here. He's doing the best he can."

"We need to replace him," Boscoe repeated. "That's that."

"Haven't you at least talked to him?"

"I don't need to do that shit," Boscoe said. "Besides, he already knows I'm not happy with him."

"Look, if you're going to replace someone, you need to tell him you're going to replace him. Not let him find out when he sees his job being advertised from underneath him."

"Get the hell out of my office," Boscoe snapped. "It's my decision and we need to replace him."

A few more keystrokes later, the advertisement for the Rymerian national team job hit the appropriate job markets.

"The Rymerian Soccer Association is searching for the right man, woman or sentient ursine to lead its national team to prominence. If you're the one we seek, send over your resume and a list of three references. Previous national team coaching experience preferred. Salary is $50,000 NSD."

[OOC: Yes, the Rymerian national team coaching job is open. Yes, Hannan hasn't been fired yet. It's not something I'd ever do IRL, but this is a dramatization of what happened to me at my last job. If you have a coach who's willing to take a job out from under Hannan, feel free to TG me at this account. As for the salary, I'm trying to come up with the equivalent of $25,000 USD in today's dollars. It's what I got paid at my previous job until I somehow wrangled a $3,000 raise.]

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Koseli Cumhuriyetler 2 Bazalonia 2
Qualification in Reach... Just
The Win would have been nice, and perhaps justified, but it wasn't to be for the Turks who lie in 4th place 8 points behind 3rd. The Turks must win every game left just to stand any realistic chance of qualifying.

The Bazalonians took a 2-0 lead into half time, twice cutting through the Turks defense, and powering past the helpless Orhan between the sticks, who despite conceding the 2 early goals can take some heart from the number of essential saves he made during the first half denying Bazalonia no less than 8 times during the half. The one chance the Turks got fell to Oktay who's shot was held by the keeper.

The Turks once again showed why they can't be underestimated and managed to pull a goal back in the 48th minute via a Serkan Turkmen free kick that crept in under the crossbar. The Bazalonians almost wrapped up the game on 68 minute, Orhan once again coming to the rescue. Then the Turks got the equalizer in the 89th minute, Gokhan Smashing it in off the post. The Turks had the chance to win, but Sinan buckled under the pressure and saw his one on one shot hit the bar.

“The venue that will be used to host The Bostopian Empire's home game versus Bostopia has finally been announced. The game is absolutely must-win for the Empire, who are seven points off Yafalonia and Bazor 2 in third place. The B.E.F.A. announced that the game would be played in the unusual location of Emperor Boston's back garden.”

A collection groan went up over the Empire and the Home Isles. His back garden? Of course, the traders in Fort Boston were happy, it was practically another home game for Bostopia, but football fans were unified in thinking it was an utter sham.

A sizeable minority of them decided for themselves they would find out who was behind turning their beloved sport into a farce; and they would make that person pay with their career.

OOC: ARRGH! I've missed the RP cut-off again! Not being able to post until after work, and then having to work late, is not fun...
So, here's a post about some events that actually happened before today's games: I put enough work into this that discarding it simply wasn't on, and presumably it will still count towards the RP bonus for tomorrow -- when, unfortunately, I'll almost certainly be unable to log-on at all -- anyway...)

________________________________________________________


Within a large ‘Hall’ in ‘Council Groves’, the capital city of Bears Armed, the ‘High Council of Clans’ — that nation’s government — is currently in session. The room is lit by four large [and electrified] chandeliers that hang in a line from cross-members under the ‘hammer-beam’ roof, as well as by the last rays of daylight as these enter through the many windows. Wooden-panelled are the walls, with many designs cunningly carved and inlaid into them, and wooden too is the floor. A dais at one end of this chamber supports a long table, behind which a row of seven Ursines and one ‘Harr’Aynau’ humanoid are seated facing out into the room’s centre, whilst to either side of this platform there stand four stalwart drummers behind brass kettle-drums.
The people sitting at that table are the leading members of the High Council, as one might expect from their seats having thus been positioned, and I shall introduce them to you now_
At the left-hand end of the line, from their own viewpoint, sits a male Ursine who seems to be of middling years and whose fur is basically medium-brown in colour but also has some hints of a dark red in its composition. He wears fine robes, and a collar of golden chains from which a large pendant in the form of a silver ring hangs down over his chest, and holds a wooden gavel. This is Ammabar o BerryGlades, who is the current ‘Chairbear of the High Council’ and thus the nation’s leader… in as far as any nation whose people are as individualistic as the Bears can be said to have one…
Immediately to his right sits another male, noticeably taller than Ammabar (who isn’t exactly short, by human standards, himself), who has fur of a darker brown. He also wears fine robes, and a collar of golden chains, but the silver pendant that hangs in front of his chest is an image of a ‘wild boar’. This is Beorran o Redwood, who is ‘Chairbear of the Committee for Pig’ (a position, mainly responsible for handling relationships between the nation’s constituent Clans & other primary bodies, that lacks an exact equivalent in any RL government with whose workings I’m at all familiar…).
Next in place along that line we see a female Ursine of a fairly medium size, silvery-furred, and wearing grey robes that are trimmed with feathers. She has a similar collar to the others, but the pendant involved is an image of an owl. This is Marra GreyBear, ‘Chairbear of the Committee for Owl’, whose department of the government deals with Justice and also with those aspects of Education that are handled centrally.
Beyond her sits a male Ursine, somewhat smaller than medium in size but medium-brown in colouring, who is dressed only in a loin-cloth and a pair of golden-furred “bunny ears”. The image hanging form the golden collar that he wears takes the form of a rabbit, and this is Harran o Strongpaw who is ‘Chairbear of the Committee for Rabbit’ and heads the government department that handles finance and the economy.
Then comes the only non-Ursine in that group, the Harr’aynau whom I mentioned before. He’s a male, quite large as humans go but still a bit smaller than average on the Ursine scale, with red hair (including sideburns, a beard & a moustache), and is wearing armour that’s made from black leather with orange stripes painted-on. His pendant takes the form of a leaping tiger, and this is Arrawan Rangh’har who is Deputy Chairbear of the ‘Committee for Tiger’ (which is the country’s Defence Ministry).
To the right of him sits another female Ursine, relatively short but not particularly lightly-built, with black fur. The pendant that she wears represents two animals of a kind that are actually unknown in Bears Armed, except as legends, which many people elsewhere would recognise as being a mother-&-child pair of Kangaroos: This person is Beorra oBerrum, ‘Chairbear of the Committee for The Strangers’, who is essentially this nation’s ‘Foreign Minister’.
After that, dressed in grey overalls and with a pendant in the form of a donkey, is a black-furred Ursine male who is also fairly short & fairly heavily-built. This is Twarra Array-Ben, Chairbear of the ‘Committee for Donkey’ which is the department that manages public transport & public works.
And finally, dressed in robes and with a pendant in the form of a point-upwards triangle, there is another male Ursine — a quite elderly-looking one — of the brown-furred & relatively tall variety. This is Marro-Siggurr o SeaBear, who is both ‘Deputy Chairbear of the High Council’ and — as the senior representative present for all of the ‘Northlands’ clans & free septs — ‘First Voice of The North’.

Sixteen other tables, with sets of chairs around them, have been placed along the room’s longer pair of sides: They are all arranged at an angle to the walls, so that the people seated at each of them can look equally well either across their table at each other or along its long axis towards the ‘high table’ on the dais. Nearly two hundred people, most but not all of whom are Ursines, are either seated at those tables or wandering around to talk with each other.
Ammabar o BerryGlades raps his gavel on the table in an obvious attempt at getting everybody else’s attention. However most of the conversations that were already in progress around the room continue unabated… After waiting about fifteen seconds he gestures to the group of kettle-drummers who are standing at his end of the dais and these — joined promptly by their colleagues at the other end — all begin to strike a series of notes their tympani, in unison, getting louder and louder… The conversations die away then and, at another gesture from Ammabar, the drummers also become silent.

“Good,” he says. “Now that I have your attention, a matter of considerable importance has been brought before this Council. I call upon Arrion o PoleStar, First Voice for the ‘Silver-of-Night’ Clan, to speak”.

An elderly-looking Ursine with silvery-grey fur, who is wearing a leather costume onto which various bones, patches of fur & tufts of feathers have been sewn (and who has a small drum, similarly decorated, slung at his left hip), rises to his feet at a table just in front of the dais and turns to face the majority of the other people present.
“Abomination!” he cries out. “The organisers of this international ‘Soccer’ contest in which our nation has entered a team intend to send a group of ‘Zombies’, the Walking Dead, here to[/i] Council Groves in the guise of a sports team! Sacrilege! Uncleanliness! This suggestion is intolerable! They must be STOPPED!”
Many of the council’s other members respond quickly to this challenge, expressing their opinion on the matter without waiting to have their right to speak formally ‘recognised’ by the Chairbear, in a hubbub of voices. Ammabar waits for a little while, until Marra GreyBear has finished sorting through the place-marks that were in a large book on the table in front of her and nodded to indicate that she’s ready to make her point, and then signals to the drummers again.
Once a state of [near] silence has been restored once more, Ammabar passes his gavel down the table to Marra: She raps it once on the table, rises to her feet, and speaks simply but to the point _
“Under the law against ‘Most Dreadful Crimes’ that was passed in the fifth year of King Garrathor’s reign, and that has never been repealed, to knowingly assist the entry of the Walking Dead into the territories of Bears Armed is a capital offence: The penalty assigned is decapitation, burning and an unmarked grave, without discretion of court . This ‘football match’ therefore can NOT go ahead as planned.”
There is turmoil again, as those who see the Zombies as ‘blasphemous abominations’ disagree loudly with those who see the sporting event as more important than such an old law and are calling for it to be scrapped. After a while, another of the Ursines who are seated at the ‘top table’ — Beorra o Berrum, this time — is given a chance to address the whole Council without being shouted-down.
“I agree that allowing Zombies into our land cannot seriously be considered, but if we drop out of the Cup now then it will have a bad effect on other nations’ opinions of us. I have consulted the legal experts, and apparently there is actually no rule within the laws governing these ‘World Cup’ competitions to say that ‘home’ games MUST be played at the sites that are really the usual stadiums for the teams involved. Obviously we don’t want to let our opponents Prux host this game in their capital city, on top of the one that our team has already played -- and lost -- there, but if the Council is agreeable then I will ask our allies in the surrounding region whether any of them is willing to make a football ground available for us to play and host this match at.”
The arguments last for about an hour longer, and the drummers have to be called into action to restore order twice more during this period, but eventually Beorra is given permission to try her suggested solution to the problem.


To: Chairman, National Soccer Association, Prux.
(CC: World Cup Committee)


Hrarroom!

We apologise for the lateness of this notification but it turns out that, for legal reasons, our national Soccer team’s ‘home’ game against the team from Prux in the current series of World Cup qualifying matches, cannot actually be played at our ‘home’ ground after all.
Fortunately we have managed to secure the use of a suitable alternative venue for this event, namely “Lawyers’ Stadium” which is located in Elise City in the nation of ‘The Amazing Race’. This city and country are within the same region as Bears Armed, which is the ‘International Democratic Union’, and visitors from outside of this region — whether they’re coming from Prux or from anywhere else — should still fly into Mikitivity and then continue onwards either by local air services or by rail from there in basically the same way (although, of course, in a different direction) as they would for getting to our own usual ground. Apparently most of The Amazing Race’s population is shortly to depart on a major migration, so facilities in Elise City will be rather more limited than would be the case at some other times of the year, and so — although the stadium’s theoretical capacity is some four or five times larger than that of Plumtrees Park — the maximum number of visiting fans that will we able to accommodate is still only fifteen thousand.


Beorran White,
Clerk to the Governing Committee,
Bears Armed Association for Soccer.


Thousands of Ursines (and smaller numbers from some of Bears Armed’s other peoples) are arriving in Elsie City, not only to watch the match but also to provide all of the necessary staff for Lawyers’ Stadium itself and to assist those of the locals who will still be working in the hotels, transport services, and so on…
And, in a quiet park that is situated very near to the football ground, a group of shabears and their assistants — with some of the Sun Clan’s elite ‘bodyguard’ specialists for their protection — are busy preparing for another ritual that is intended to reduce the zombies’ effectiveness…

And overhead, large flocks of Chromatic Crows (a species of [non-sapient] corvine that is endemic to most parts of the ‘IDU’ region) are gathering…


________________________________________________

OOC postscript: 4-2! And now we're in the group's top three teams, although admittedly only by the closest of margins... Yay! Obviously the ritual worked... ;)

World Cup 44 Qualification - Group 2
MD1: 2-0 vs [42] West Zirconia (@ Munhwa Football Stadium - 65,000, Hanseong)
MD2: 0-2 @ [???] Sarzonia (@ Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium - 88,920, Woodstock)
MD3: 5-0 vs [76] Dariusville (@ Potala Palace - 34,000, Lasa)
MD4: 2-0 @ [54] Liventia (@ Colonial Stadium, Orean)
MD5: 2-0 vs [1] Valanora (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium - 200,000, Hangyeong)
MD6: 1-0 @ [34] Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colosseum - 599,000, Atlantea)
MD7: 3-0 vs [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium - 80,000, Gwangju)
MQ: 1-4 @ Sorthern Northland (@ somewhere new and special, but I haven't a clue...)
MD8: @ 4-0 [42] West Zirconia (@ Manchester Street - 85,000, Moorcroft)
MD9: 2-0 vs [???] Sarzonia (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium - 50,000, Daebo)
MD10: 3-0 @ [76] Dariusville (@ Humphra Ignhorium - 2,000, some forest in Dariusville)
MD11: vs [54] Liventia (@ Silk Road Stadium - 56,000, Seoan)
MD12: @ [1] Valanora (@ Hatire Memorial - 60,000, Capri)
MD13: vs [34] Taeshan (@ Tae-majt Park - 69,000, Pyeongyang)
MD14: @ [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ hopefully not in a beer bottle)



MBC World Cup Special Report
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Trees Fallen, Han Progress to Qualify

HUMPHRA IGNHORIUM - Let this be a mindful reminder to you to avoid letting your cat jump on your typewriter, especially since some editors don't know when you're telling a joke or not. Whatever the case, I've brought my laptop along and left the cat at home; unfortunately, the rat decided to tag along.

Regardless, on about football, the Han got all three points, and have thus qualified for the World Cup when neither West Zirconia, nor Sarzonia, nor Taeshan could escape with all three points. Taeshan failed to overcome a resurgent Vanorian side, while West Zirconia and Sarzonia battled to a 2-2 draw. The prospects now put the Han at the very least with 27 points - and with 25 being threshold cut-off now for qualification, the Han can lose every single match from now on (not that we'd encourage them to do so...) and still qualify. Fitting such as it was that the Han grabbed all 3 points with a 3 goal lead. The trees of Dariusville were again slow but painstakingly powerful (and I mean the painstaking part literally). But the Han showed youthful agility in the midst of playing the trees. And of course, playing in a forest, the lines were hard to distinguish at times, as well as who was on the opposition. Nonetheless,the goals were not so terribly hidden in the shrubbery that the strikers couldn't find it. Jeong Jihun started for Kim Daeeui, who was still recovering from that tackle in the Sarzonia match (the medical experts say that he's still fit to play, just some minor aches resulting from the crash); and on his start, Jeong Jihun got two goals in the 20th and 21st minutes. The small but loyal visiting crowd were probably expecting a rout at that point, but the trees started to play defensively, handling the ball with their tree branches. Ioshido Toki appealed to the referee, calling the handling as text-book "handling"; but the referee disagreed - they weren't using "hands" so to speak (of course it gets tricky with these almost non-anthropomorphic lifeforms; what about the species that don't have hands?). It didn't help the trees much though. Kim Jongguk was still on top form as he gave up nothing. In fact, he's going on 8 for 9 matches so far with a clean sheet.


=== === ===

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To Brian Carson, Head Coach, and Distinguished Members of the Newmanistanian National Football Team:

We are pleased to hear that you and the members of the team have agreed to this deal. We are certain that with Samseong in your support, that the Newmanistanian National Team can continue its competitive form in the World Cup. While we cannot guarantee success or failure, we do wish for your team the very best in the final stages of World Cup Qualifying.

We do have plans for the team and as a base of operations, we will be immediately looking to build a new Samseong Operations Center, from which we hopefully can help improve Samseong's market share in Newmanistan, as well as prepare for the next World Cup. As a part of our investment projects to be prepared in the interim, the Office of Football Affairs will be sending a team to survey the National Team at your next home match against Milchama, once permission from the AFA (Academy of Foreign Affairs) and your government is cleared.

We sincerely hope that Newmanistan excels on the field.

Samseong - Office of Football Affairs


=== === ===

Pak Seongil cautiously entered the office. "Sir, you asked for me."

"Ah, Pak. That was a good game," Jang remarked. "Please have a seat."

The odd sound of electricians at work (whatever sound that might be) continued in the background as Pak closed the behind him and entered into Jang Yeongmin's office. It was awfully polished and clean, compared to the rest of the facility. Board regulations required that the human resources office be readily available to all workers within a reasonable distance; and though the reasonable distance was indeed reasonable, the psychological distance remained something on the order of parsecs. Pak felt almost in an alien world in Jang's office, as Jang tried (seemingly painfully) to keep a good smile. He closed his laptop and held his hands on his desk, giving Pak his full attention.

"Sir, you wanted to see me about something," Pak said. They both knew what this was about.

"We went to Ulsan the other day, and you played a match against the Ulsan Great Pearls. I was there, and you played a great game. A great game. No doubt about it."

"Yes, sir."

"But you didn't win." Those words struck Pak deeply. Of course, they hadn't won. They almost won, but then again, they almost lost. Where was his place to decide who won and who lost? Indeed, not winning felt like losing, even after the sort of opening that they all received. Pak had the hardest time dealing with the draw. Not only did he have the responsibility of dealing with the players, to keep them cheerful and lively; he also had the responsibility to deal with the management who gave him the money to do stuff like that. And the condition of continuing the money was a win - not a draw, a win.

"It was your first match away from Daejeon in over a year, and I think my predecessor was most displeased with your efforts in the last adventure." That last adventure was a 49-2 rout in Hanseong, against an amateur side that really belonged in the professional leagues - except there was no space left in the professional leagues to host them... So they were left beating up the "other" amateur teams until space did arrive. And notably, the team lost their captain (he committed suicide), their money, and almost their team. Pak Seongil was the one who saved the team from total annihilation, kept some of the older players around, brought on some younger players, all on his own budget. And they had had some considerable success in Daejeon. This adventure in Ulsan was to get money from the Board once more. Surprisingly, it was Jang Yeongmin who asked for it - not surprisingly, he claimed that the investment was worth it "for the workers' morale." Just another guy in a suit who wanted to keep his workers happy, while they eeked an existence beneath the shoes of some hot-show business entrepreneur.

"I'll be honest, Pak," Jang then said. "I'm not a footy fan. I don't really like the sport. I just watch it because nearly everyone in the company is completely possessed with it. Heck, the company sponsors football teams. But it's not in my place to disagree with them. And I'm not going to disagree with them on many things. I don't footy, doesn't mean that other can't like it either. If everyone liked the things that I liked, this world would be pretty boring. I mean, look at my office. It's drab. Boring. But peaceful. I like it. Not many people would like it, but it's my office, and I am to please when I can. And so, when I'm not in my office, I see you and your co-workers on that field, and I still can't understand what you guys feel, why you enjoy the thrills - whatever they may be - of that sport. But I know one thing - it makes you happy. And the one thing that I've learned is that whatever makes people happy makes me happy. I got to my job by finding the things that my workers enjoy and indulging them with it. Of course, within the limits of the law and the regulations. Sex is enjoyable, but I'm not going to start bringing in ladies for the men, and chaps for the women; football, I can do.

"And so, I talked to the Board yesterday, after that match in Ulsan. I told them that you played admirably. I told them that Kim (Shinyok) got two goals, and you got one yourself. They congratulated you. I also mentioned that Yang (Manchun) was an excellent goalkeeper, and that he deserves the spot. They congratulated him as well. When they asked me for the result, I told them that you didn't lose the match. They asked if you won; I said that you drew the match 3-3. I then proceeded to explain that the opposition was of a great quality and that the team was playing against a hostile crowd and hostile players." Jang paused for a little while, brushing his hair lightly as he reclined in his chair. "They weren't impressed with the draw, and to be honest, neither was I. But for two different reasons. I knew that you and the team worked as a unit, and that as a whole unit, you enjoyed yourselves. The Board, without the opportunity to see this, was more considered with the result. They explained to me - 'In war, you have but one result. Though many men will die, and land turned fallow, and countries ruined, the result is what history recommends. That Goguryeo stood valiantly to the armies of the Su and Dang Dynasties is lost to history because they fell to Shilla. And Shilla now bears the honors of victory for defeated the kingdom that stood against all of the world.'

"I can concede that point. But then I demand an explanation for why Goryeo was the dynasty that General Yi (Seonggyei) conquered instead of the Shilla. And why Goryeo took the name of the Goguryeo kingdom instead of Su, Dang, or even Shilla. The Board could not answer me of these. I asked further about Goryeo university, and why Pyeongyang - despite its reduced favor - continues to serve as the seat of historical glamour compared to Hanseong. That though Goguryeo lost to Shilla, that they withstood the armies of the Su and the Dang nonetheless. Was not their struggle admirable, that even the modern Han military analysts hail their victories as critical and defining of strategy?"

With that, Jang pulled out a envelope from his jacket, with a signed statement from the Board Executives. Pak took the letter, opened it slowly, and once opened, began to read the letter. He nearly was flabbergasted. "The Board has only agreed to this term under great duress," Jang explained. "I said that given the opportunity, Daejeon would beat Ulsan at home."

"You mean...?"

"That means you will face Ulsan Great Pearls in Daejeon. I've already called the Pearls, and they've agreed to a rematch. It will come later this month; I'll pass you the full details after your shift." Pak stood up, almost ready to jump up and down in joy. But Jang was still stern and serious. "I cannot stress the importance of a win, Pak," he said. "You can't just draw this time. The Board wants a win, and the team will have to deliver. Because just like Goguryeo, though they fought valiantly against the Su and Dang, if they fall to Shilla, history will have little else to say of Goguryeo."

Pak clearly understood the allegory. He nodded and thanked Jang for his time. And even as he left the office, the burden of another game came upon him even more heavily this time. But not even burden could shake his unshakable joy as he returned to work. It was a blessing from Heaven - a second chance.

ooc: Dancougar: Sorry I'm going from something you said ooc in an RP, but inspiration is inspiration!

www.gamingbostopia.bp

Details Of Field Marshal Denfeld's Combat Tank Simulator Leaked In Dancougar!

A scandal of the highest proportions has erupted in MoDGames, following the leak of some information on Combat Tank Simulator. News has spread fast across message boards around Dancougar that entering a special code onto the title screen of C.T.S. unlocks a bonus game, Emperor Boston's Household Toboggan Simulator – which itself now features bonus levels, including one where the objective is to bowl over as many Dancougar players as possible while navigating the track.

MoDGames have released these details reluctantly, but only to combat any rumours that will arise.

Purple Knights Lose To Valanora

Yesterday the Knights welcomed the Valanoran team to there capital city of Atlantea, were the Elves decided to pillage the city and rape the women children. Well, not exactly, but they defeated the soccer team 2-0 taking a 6-0 agregate score after the two games between the squads. No one expected us to even give up much of a fight against them, and after the game was over everyone was right.

As expected the Elves walked in, scored and walked out. The game held at the Atlantea Colliseum, as are all the more important game according to the Taeshan Soccer Federation, was never even close and the Knights spent most of it running around, and chasing the more skilled Vanorian team members around. At the end the Knights just walked of the field and went home. No one really cared as most people were watching the basketball game across the street on the jumbotraun. Anyways we lost.

Next the Knights will take on the Sarzonia Stars. They were the team most were seeing on the jumbotraun beating up our basketball team. The Stars and the Knights played to a 1-1 tie in there first meeting in Sarzonia, and the fans were thus enraged due to the underestimated skills of the Sarzonian team. Hopefully in the next game they can at least make it feel important to the team members.

"Well, after that crock of - well, I can't say that word this early in the evening, but it starts with SH and rhymes with 'mite' - Krytenia slip to third in the group, behind Vephrall and the Archregimancy. Docky's spluttering draw with Lecland does mean we keep that all-important three point cushion though. Now over to Stephen with the round-up of the rest of the evening's World Cup games. Stephen?"

"Thanks Tania, and we start, logically enough, with Group One. Bostopia had already cemented their World Cup place, and they were joined by the ludicrous apostrophes of Ad'ihan, who got their vital win despite playing both Yafalonia and Bazor II at the same time. YafBazTwo are five points clear of the Doodie - sorry, Doobie Brothers, who are 'high' in fourth.

Group Two, and the Han are going to the World Cup...again...sigh. The World Champs won again to put themselves one win from the finals...sigh...meanwhile West Zirconia, Sarzonia (ugh) and Taeshan (double ugh) are fighting for third. Please dear God, let the Zirconians win that one.

Thankfully, the top three in Group Three are all names I can pronounce - for the record, Demot are top and qualified, ahead of Bazalonia and Wentland. Solenial are the next highest team I can pronounce...in sixth.

Group Four, and sorry, but the wonderfully named Googlewoop are out. Meanwhile, at the important end, the slani SLANI side have seven points over fourth, and I wouldn't want to be Kenavt, sandwiched in between the collective crazies of Jeru and Sorthern Northland.

Lovisa win, beat Tynelia good! Top league! Tynelia are still second in Group Five though, far enough ahead of Green Wombat to feel reasonably comfortable. I'll not comment on Peisandros, though, till someone tells me who the slani hell they are.

On to Group Six, and it's all about the big cows. That's right, Qazox are in your cup, playing your teams. Dancougar are not far behind, and Kelssek are clear enough of the field at the moment. Rennidan could have been qualified already, but nooooo, the world had to go for that crazy Candelarian...Candarel....Candlesar....Kura-Pellandi charm. And now they're fifth. You maniacs! You ruined it all!!!

Anyway...Group Seven, and bad news. Starblaydia are back in the top three. Good news though, it's a paper thin gap to fourth, and there's still four games left for them to stuff up royal. Someone needs to tell SLANI Reserves to get their act together though. The buxom Jeruselemites, meanwhile, bounce alluringly atop the group.

Group Nine, and your worst nightmare leads the group. Poor SDB must wonder what he's got himself into with those damn Dreamed Realmers. Oliv - er, Septentrionia, are second, and Milchama are third, those crazy devils. Less said about Nethertopia and Newmanistan, the better. Sufficed to say, I predict 'harmony' in the near future.

And last, of course, Group ten. Yafor, Blouman, Bears Armed. So far, so ursine. Question in point though: What is this Russia, and can the armed bears see it from their house, too? Prux and Cafendeu, meanwile, deserve to be thoroughly laughed at for their pitiful efforts. Mock! MOCK!!!

I'm Stephen Deletraz, and you've just been Around The World In Eighty Teams."

Tar Hornets' Hopes and Dreams Crushed
Team doesn't look to be that saddened, heads to beach after tie.

As the Tar Hornets fail to win at home against supposed Group 3 bottom feeders, Solenial, the team is faced with the fact that their curse number (the opposite of a magic number it indicates the amount of points until we clinch getting eliminated) is at .000001. Simply put, if Wentland gathers a single point during the next four games, and Arroza fails to gather even one point from 4 games than include matches against Koseli and Bazalonia then the team will get yet another bid to the Cup of Underacheivers...err Harmony.

When confronted with this fact after the game, National Team Coach Alfredo Valente refused to answer the questions at this time, saying that he felt that it was within his right to move the post game press conference three miles away from Island Aire Stadium to a medium sized, Han-themed bar along Coronado Beach's oceanfront. Later, when confronted outside the “Unceasing Dynasty” Valente said, “Really, we weren't expected to qualify even if we had brought a good team that liked each other. But instead of giving our all, we brought a team of society whores and layabouts built for the beach instead of for the soccer field. So now that we're out of it, we can proceed to stop caring and just relax on the beach. Instead of archaic things like practices, we're going to be working towards our real goals of public exposure and drunkenness. We're considering hiring some experts from capitalistic nations like Secristan or Cafundeu to figure out how to maximize all of our earning potentials through this short burst of fame.” Valente then proceeded back into the bar where he belligerently wandered onto stage and helped a visiting person of indeterminate origin through a karaoke version of the classic, “I Miss My Homies”.

Goals:
Arroza 2
Solenial 2
Scorers not denoted due to their lack of importance.

Dancougar News!!
Inspiring Bostopian RPs since, like, the other day I guess.

Jinguuji deuce gets Wings past Kelssek: Playing probably for a shot at his last World Cup, the national team's all-time leading goal scorer, Shishio Jinguuji, means to go out as an impact player. His two-goal performance in Yuki City last night powered Dancougar five points clear of rampaging Kelssek and all but assured them of World Cup qualification.

"It's not for sure, of course, but the way the tables are shaping up and with the games we have left, it would take a catastrophic run to keep us out," said coach Solomon Bilbao. "I'm confident we have the ability to stay second." Conceding the group to the Phoenix, then? "They're a very good team," Bilbao replied.

The game was much tighter, at first, than the home fans would've liked. Kelssek got the first good chance of the game off the foot of Ian Sinclair, who watched his shot sail above Yuji Watanabe and the entire goal in the 14th minute. It was the result of the kind of patient build-up play that Bilbao has been preaching to his own team. Ian Colwyn and Paul Clifton forged a power bloc in the middle of the field that Kevin Underwood attempted to undo with assistance from Kazuki Midorikawa. In the battle of team captains, Clifton was the early winner, directing his team on two precision strikes that required saves by Watanabe. The Wings turned the momentum with a corner kick in the 35th that Lyle Dylandy smashed off the crossbar, and from then, the Wings had the lion's share of the chances. The first half ended with the Wings on fire, with Dan Potts nearly victimizing the Kelssek defense for the breakthrough goal.

"They gave us a hard time," said Dylandy, who had three attempts on goal during the match, two of them on target. "It took us too long to settle in and adjust to their pace, but once we got there, we were able to cut them out and do some smarter things with the ball."

One of those smarter things led to the first goal. With a little under half an hour remaining, the Wings sprang a counter on Kelssek after some cautious play by Clifton broke down. Dylandy pushed the ball ahead to Potts, who faked the shot and instead passed the ball square with the outside of his right foot. Jinguuji was there to remind everyone he could get it done with his feet just as well as with his head; he met the ball with his first touch and sent it past the stagnant Petr Zherdek to give Dancougar the lead. They had to be careful with it, as the fans almost had their triumphant song interrupted by the equalizer. Vincent Arsenault played Sinclair through with a brilliant pass but the forward was judged offside. Video replays showed it too close to call, and the consensus was that Sho Yukikaze got lucky.

But with the break going their way, the Wings earned their cushion in the 74th. Once again, Jinguuji received the ball inside the box. He held off a stiff challenge from Alexandre Tremblay and turned for a quick shot. Zherdek dove late and the score was 2-0, and Jinguuji's hunger for a hat trick kept the Wings from sitting back on their lead. Kelssek were hoping for a reprieve and an opportunity to attack, but it never came.

Group six day in review: Qazox returned to their winning ways by crushing St Samuel 3-0 on the road to become the first team in group six to clinch a World Cup spot. Akbarabad leapfrogged Rennidan into fourth place 3-2 win, as the Eagles lost another heartbreaker to a Baptism of Fire side. Colbourne and Operata drew 2-2 to stay in the bottom half of the table, with Operata and St Samuel joining the ranks of those eliminated from contention.

Reserves to get a chance: Solomon Bilbao's matchday eleven lineup will see some of the backups return to action at St Samuel. With qualification looking highly likely, final roster decisions will need to be made in the coming weeks. We're guessing Bilbao still has six or seven spots that he hasn't made a decision on yet, so this is a chance for some players to make an impact.

Defenders Don Samrov and Joseph Cecilia are likely going to compete for a spot on the bench, and Samrov is seen as the frontrunner at the moment. But there could be room for both. The midfield will feature regulars Kazuki Midorikawa and Alexei Voronzoff lead a troop of reserves. And up front, Karen Stadler seems to have a spot wrapped up from her earlier performances, but she'll start anyway alongside Augustine Dennin, who is yet to show the form he had at Yuki City Athletic before their slide.

STARTING XI: Brengle; Samrov, Carter, Leeds, Cecilia; Ingram, Midorikawa, Voronzoff, Klingensmith; Dennin, Stadler
SUBSTITUTES: Silberstein; Yukikaze, van der Horst; Morisue, McNespy; Garbett, Dinsmoor

"...had us worried after we went 1-0 down father, but we took courage in knowing that there are those who have faced far worse trials for Holy Orthodoxy."

"As indeed you might, my son. Have you been forced to walk across burning hot coals?"

"No, Father."

"Have you been fed to the wild beasts of the circus?"

"No, Father."

"Have evil demons decapitated you halfway across a strait, only to be defeated after you carry your head to the mainland?"

"Oooooh... St. Justinian of Ramsey Island! My Favourite!"

"Have you?"

"Errr, no father."

"Have you had molten metal forced down your throat, had darts thrown at you, been crucified upside down, been flayed alive, burned at the stake, or faced any one of a hundred and one other very nasty things that have afflicted the Holy Martyrs?"

"No, Father."

"Well, then. Going behind 1-0 to Quakmybush is hardly in the same class of suffering, is it? Nonetheless, I am pleased with you, oh my lads, for the comeback - and insist that you celebrate with a double portion of lentil soup tonight after vespers. Huzzahs all round!"

Princess Marie-Antoinette talking to a local Jeruselem magician Super Sam after the Princess destroyed the visiting Draistania team 6-1.

Sam: You may not be a magician but you're sure magic on the football field.
Marie: Thanks Sam, but it's a big team effort. I'm not the whole football team.
Sam: Yes, but like me - there's always a superstar performer. Yes, football like magic is a team effort. You need the team to work and support staff to back you up. There's no room from mistakes.
Marie: So, got any new tricks for the new show?

Sam: I'm looking for new ideas.
Marie: Are kids going to be watching?
Sam: Err, no. My shows tend to involve sharp and dangerous objects so I don't encourage young kids to watch.
Marie: I've got a few but they aren't for innocent minded.

Sam: Ideas are ideas Princess, I can only say no.
Marie: How about making a woman's clothes disappear as if like err ... magic.
Sam: I tried that once, my assistant didn't like the idea. Anyway, she's a really slow undresser. Actually, she's putting on weight too.
Marie: You need an expert then.

Sam: Oh yes, you're a Dallas. Maybe I need another assistant then?
Marie: There's plenty of girls who know how to get naked fast.
Sam: Well, might be an idea then! Anymore ideas? I like this one but I can't really afford another assistant.
Marie: Maybe you need a new assistant.

Sam: I can't actually fire her, she's my sister.
Marie: I see ... err, new ideas ... think Marie.
Sam: And nothing to do with footballs either. They take too long to deflate.
Marie: Random weird stuff appearing in women's underwear?

Sam: I could do that, although I have practice on someone first. Not all women like men fidding around in their underwear.
Marie: Although, not everyone wears underwear either.
Sam: Like you ...
Marie: Yeah, people like me.

Sam: I need thing new ...
Marie: Hello Sadie.
Sadie: Hi, who's this.
Sam: Super Sam, the magic guy.

Sadie: Cool! I like magic.
Marie: Sam, try the disappearing clothes trick on Sadie. She's a bit slow so she won't notice much.
Sam: Normally, it's the assistant who actually does work.
Marie: She's so slow, if you did - she'll take a while to notice.

Sam: Hey Sadie. Just hold this magic towel for me. It's really magic ... just cover yourself with it.
Sadie: Sure thing, what will happen?
Sam: You'll see.

...

Sam: You can remove the towel now.
Sadie: I don't see anything different.
Marie: Look harder Sadie.
Sadie: Hey, I'm not wearing anything! Wow, that's magic towel.

Sam: Amazing hey?
Sadie: That's so cool.
Sam: It's a magic trick really. The towel isn't actually magic.
Sadie: Really? Where's my clothes?

Sam: Here's your football jersey and shorts back.
Sadie: That's amazing.
Marie: No underwear, makes things easy Sam!
Sam: Well yes. Hey Sadie, you want a career in magic?

Sadie: Well, I'm not very smart. I can't do smart things well.
Sam: I'll give you a job.
Sadie: Yeah?
Marie: See, she's slow.

Sam: I can really work with this girl.

FOLHA DA CAPITAL
O jornal no lugar certo na hora certa da notícia

Edição de Domingo - Ano 218 - Caderno I - Preço: V$3,00
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TOP COMMENTATOR GOES TO THE HOSPITAL

The famous and successful Globo Multimedia television presenter and commentator Breno Gavião, 59, was interned in the Dr. Leal Plaza Hospital today after feeling symptoms of a heart attack during the live broadcast of the football game between the national teams of Cafundéu and Yafor 2, which happened in the Obelisco Monumental in Lasft. The commentator started to feel pain in his chest short after Yafor 2's goal in the forty minute of the first half, but continued commentating the game until the end of the half, although with clear discomfort, which could be easily noted by the people watching the game on the television. After that, he was persuaded to go to the hospital by his co-workers.

Reaching the Plaza Hospital, doctors identified Gavião's pain as a severe angina, which could lead him to a heart attack, and immediately made the procedures to revert the situation, with success. Talking with the media after the incident, Dr. Daniel Braga, who treated the presenter, said: "Mr. Gavião's health condition is stable now, he is conscious, talking and feeling well, but he must stay in the hospital. The angina he suffered probably wasn't the first one, and exams showed that his heart is still under threat. We must avoid a heart attack, so we'll continue medicating him and, in the next two days, a coronary artery bypass surgery will be performed. Only after that we can plan his recovery."

Outside the hospital, reactions about Breno Gavião's health situation are mixed. Some people are extremely fond of the television commentator, and hope for a full recovery. An example is the office worker César Ouvidor, 32, who said: "That's really sad news. Breno Gavião is a symbol of our country, one of the most loved people here and surely a person respected in the whole world. I wish him the best and hope to see him commentating again soon. Look at what our team [the Cafundelense NT] is doing with us... it's killing us! For many of us football is as important as our families, and this team is making us suffer. Maybe what happened with Breno can show them the harm they're doing to their own country... four games without a win! Four!"

But there are some people who have a different opinion. Some want to see him alive, but maybe with a voice sequel which can make him unable to comment again (dream of many Cafundelenses) or, as Renata de Paula Brandão, 22, something even more radical: "I hope he dies in that hospital. I know that his health condition is stable now, but infections or surgical mistakes can happen, can't them? Well, I am sure there are many nurses and surgeons who hate him as much as me! You know, my uncle died during a heart bypass surgery, this isn't an impossible thing to happen with Breno as well. Maybe I should be more human... but why didn't his heart exploded during the game, why?"

Breno Gavião is considered the most famous Cafundelense person, even more than the Empress Alice Van Tocco. He started commenting football games for Globo Multimedia at the age of 33, and since then commentates in all major domestic and international competitions, including the World Cup. He also commentates racing competitions and volleyball tournaments, and other sports during the Olympics. While he is in the hospital, Globo Multimedia's commentator will be Cléber Foice, 40. There was a rumour that Gavião was training an apprentice to commentate the games in his place, teaching him his manner of speaking, but Globo Multimedia announced that this person wasn't introduced to the television channel.

Next page: "Corrupt policeman is ambushed by former partners and killed after his crimes were discovered."

"What the... how did...?" Jun was in awe; she wasn't aware that the Liger was capable of that kind of technique. "Since when did we..."

"The debut of Shield Liger!" declared Daniel. "Appropriate for the man who's tasked with defending the country."

"No time to sit back and admire, your highness," Tetsuya said, licking his lips. "He's still moving around." Sure enough, the monster was stumbling from side to side with its right arm and a large portion of its head blown clean off by the attack. A bit of shimmering purple could be seen near the exposed throat, with flames swirling around it every now and then. "But it looks like we've got our target!"

The monster sent a few fireballs their way, but the Liger's shield was operating at full potential. Tetsuya swatted away the attacks easily and prepared to charge with the sword once again. "We're still not seeing a rise in our attack power!" Joe reported.

"Then we just need to show some more spirit!" replied Tetsuya. He primed the engines to get a quick burst of speed, which he hoped would help them get more power behind the sword's attack. The Dancougar began to run forward and Tetsuya eyed his opponent, waiting carefully for the right time for ignition.

In the air, Russ and Peter flew behind Erica to create a miniature V formation. The three of them plowed a path through the enemy swarm to relieve pressure on the Lancer teams below, which were taking a pounding. The demons had started making low swooping attacks on the ground units, and while the machines were configured for close combat, they weren't able to keep up with the speedy flying eyes.

Angel Team was also working together, with Inoue, Sonya, and Christina all converted into robot mode in midair to form a tight back-to-back-to-back triangle. This let them lay down a complete sphere of fire, which they did so over a beleaguered pack of Lancers which was down a single functioning unit. The lone machine made its escape, heading to join another team, while the three broke out of formation and boosted clear just before the swarm overloaded their position.

Inside the mountain, Brandenstein and Stephen were paired up as the rest of the commandos broke off in pairs to set charges. The two made their way into the darkness with a single pen light to guide them. Footsteps were echoing throughout the mountain and it was unknown if any demons were serving as sentries in this part of the mountain. There were deep booms overhead as the battle raged.

Stephen had his eyes on the colonel, who strode confidently with briefcase in hand. He's going to reseal Boldozaa... he thought. That much I'm sure of. But does that mean he already knows the rite? It wasn't in any of my sources...

They came to the wide open chamber where Russ, Peter, and the professor had first discovered the slumbering demon lord. There were remnants of the stone statue littering the floor, while the circular crevasses where the crystal orbs had been placed sat in the rock wall right above where the statue had been. "This was his bedchamber," Brandenstein said, motioning to the wall. "The orbs there kept him bound in stone for centuries." He moved the flashlight to follow the wall. An inscription ran around the entire room in the old native tongue. "Where it ended, and where it began again."

Stephen smiled in the dark. Thank you for showing me! he thought in triumph. Your plan to seize power was an interesting one. You play all sides against each other and get them to reduce their strength. Meanwhile, you sweep through unchecked. Ah, but you let me in on the game... and the problem with power is that there's never enough to go around.

QSPN.COM Breaking News

Former and Current Qazox National Team Head Coach Fernando Turek still hospitalized after a cardiac infarction just after the Akbarabad match. With Previous Head Coach Joanna Davids still battling ovarian cancer, Qazox has no offical Head Coach at the moment. Raul de Olivares, who's knee injury turned out to be just a sprain of the MCL, not a tear as many had feared; as the Captain of the team, he has taken on the duties of head coach until such a time as either Davids or Turek are able to return, or the QFA finds another coach.

This qualifying campaign has been very unusual. Two coaches are gone due to health issues, our starting Keeper is out with child, our captain missed two games due to arthoscopic surgery, and now the captain is the coach.

Despite hardships that many teams would not be able to overcome, Qazox has the best record in qualifying, (9-1-0), and the best goal differential, (+22).

With the thoughts and prayers of the team and most of the nation with Coach Turek, the Pheonix travelled to St. Samuel, a nation better known for its Baseball team than its football side. Qazox came away with a dominating 3-0 victory, lead by de Olivares, who tied a team record with 3 assists, as Michelle de Barre scored yet another 2 goals, (31', 52'). The last goal came off the foot of Joy Saval in the 80th minute. Saval, who was making her international debut, came in for de Barre in the 69th minute.

With the win, Qazox beacme the 2nd team, behind Bostopia, to qualify for the World Cup in Kura-Pelland/Candelaria And Marquez. Other teams qualifying today were Ad'ihan, Daehanjeiguk and Demot; bringing the total number to 7.

Up next for the Pheonix is a trip back home to take on Kelssek @ Champions Field, in Qazox City. A win by Kelssek, coupled with losses by both Akbarabad and Rennidan, would clinch a World Cup berth for the vistors and Dancougar as well. The early lines from the New Bruxen Casino have Qazox 7:3 favorites and the over/under is 3.5 goals.

Pruxton Globe

Thoise dammed sneaky bears. They move the match at the 11th hour to a different stadium, restricting travel to Pruxian visitors, once they arrive and the result? A 4-2 loss that the Zombies didn't need. A flock of Chromatic Crows, a local corvine species, swarmed the stadium, one Lawyers’ Stadium, in Elise City. The stadium, looked hastily constructed, as evidenced by many nails, screws and wet paint spots through-out the stadium. Dr. Mkembe, just before the opening kickoff, formally protested the venue, and the start-time. Originally, the agreed start time was 7:00 pm, as to allow both teams full advantage, as the sun was scheduled to set at 7:45 local time. But along with the change in venue, the start time was moved up to 6:30 pm, therby putting the Zombies at an inherent disadvantage. The Zombies handicap was easily exploited by the home side as 4 goals were scored in the first half. When the sun finally set, with about 10 minutes left in the match, Zombie Diego Maradona and Zombie Pelé scored to cut the lead down to 4-2, but the earlier damage was not to be overcome.

Now with one game left on the road trip, a visit to Iseerussiafrommyhouse, a win is needed as to avenge an earlier loss, and to cut the deficit from 5 points to 2, perhaps. The stunning news so far in the group is Cafundéu's struggles, as they are currently in 5th place.


The schedule is this: (along with our Predictions for the Zombies)
Game 1: @ Yafor 2 LOST 0-2
Game 2: vs. Cafundeu LOST 1-2
Game 3: vs. Bears Armed WON 3-2
Game 4: vs. Iseerussiafrommyhouse LOST 1-2
Game 5: @ Brightonburg Draw 1-1
Game 6: vs. The Blouman Empire Draw 2-2
Game 7: @ Myedvedeya WIN 4-1
Game 8: vs. Yafor 2 LOST 0-3
Game 9: @ Cafundeu W 2-1
Game 10: @ Bears Armed LOST 2-4
Game 11: @ Iseerussiafrommyhouse (Win 4-2)
Game 12: vs. Brightonburg (Win 4-1)
Game 13: @ The Blouman Empire (Loss 1-2)
Game 14: vs. Myedvedeya (Win 2-1)

PREDICTED RECORD: 7-3-4 24pts 3rd in Group.
ACTUAL RECORD: 3-2-5 11pts; 6th in group.

The Zito Zip

A big 4-1 win
over European squad.
Now Wombats only 3 points
out of 3rd place.
Rematch with Peisandros on
MD 13 looms large.
But a trip to Tynelia
is next. Perhaps another
draw is possible.


Schedule:
MD1: Secristan D 1-1 (0-1-0)
MD2: Terreiro de Ogum W 1-0 (1-1-0)
MD3: @ Euro Federations L 1-2 (1-1-1)
MD4: Tynelia D 1-1 (1-2-1)
MD5: @ Rymeria D 2-2 (1-3-1)
MD6: Peisandros L 0-1 (1-3-2)
MD7: @ Lovisa D 1-1 (1-4-2)
MD8: @ Secristan W 1-0 (2-4-2)
MD9: @ Terreiro de Ogum D 1-1 (2-5-2)
MD10: Euro Federations W 4-1 (3-5-2)
MD11: @ Tynelia
MD12: Rymeria
MD13: @ Peisandros
MD14: Lovisa

Akbrabad gain ground.


The Akbarabad national team leapfrogged the much higher ranked team Rennidan into fourth place with a nice 3-2 home victory. Goals came from Samin Akbar (twice) and Zahid Mohammed. This victory maintains the team's slim hopes of advancing into third place, altough they still have to make up a 7 point defecit with Kellsek, which will require other results to go our way.

Up next for the side is an away match to Colbourne, who were narrowly beaten at home earlier. The side is cautiosly optimistic, altough it has to be said that Colbourne are still much higher ranked than us.

A different approach tonight....

The match was set to begin. The Rockets players had run out from the tunnel beside a group of what appeared to be normal looking football players representing the Holy Empire. Newmanistan was back in sky blue and white, and the players were waving their arms to the crowd to get them pumped up. When suddenly an image of Tony Borsinger appeared on the large Stadium Vision on the south end of the field. Everyone got silent, and the Rockets players looked at each other and wondered just what Tony was up too.

Borsinger: Haha! The spirits are dead! There is nothing overseeing this pathetic place. Look at you guys in sky blue and white, you losers who tossed your Di Bradini rings into a fire by my call, actually in hoping that the spirits would exist and be able to overpower the Dreamed Realm. You forget one very important thing. The Dreamed Realm knows what they’re doing. They have more World Cup experience on their pinky finger then you have in your careers! Carson, what’s this about not having me on the World Cup team? Look at them, they suck. They will never qualify for the World Cup. Newmanistan is dammed to an eternity of the Cup of Harmony. Cup of Harmony forever! FORRREVVERRRRR!!!! You sold your souls to Samseong. You should have just obeyed the Empress and gone quietly into the night. After the image of Borsinger disappears, an image of the Empress laughing hysterically shows for about 20 seconds.

The operators of the Stadium Vision tried to turn it off, but somehow they were powerless and unable to do anything about it. The fans stood in shock. That was their captain of the club team just completely shunning the history of these sacred grounds, and they remained silent. The Rockets players also couldn’t believe what they had just seen. They had always looked up to Tony Borsinger and his strong religious ideals, how could he do this? Unless of course, that really wasn’t Tony. The players of the Dreamed Realm, resembling old men repeating “Cup of Harmony forever!” over and over were quite amused. The referee was confused, but figured the game must begin. He was finishing up counting the players when suddenly the Stadium Vision came to life with another image, this of an unknown man. The ref decided he should wait until the voice completed it’s message.

Voice, in a very soft whispering tone, with words spoken slowly: Fans.... do not listen to what you have heard and seen. They are occupying our territory.

That was it. Nothing more, and it stopped abruptly to a sudden rumble of thunder that was heard despite clear blue skies overhead. The Dreamed Realm players stopped their rumblings for a few moments. The Rockets remained confused, as did the fans. Was there a battle of supernatural forces taking place? Was the image of Tony Borsinger really not Tony, or Tony possessed? The referee, fittingly from Terreiro de Ogum, wondered what he was getting into here. He made a brief prayer to the Orixas, but probably more for his own safety then for anything to do with the actual game. But now, it was time to play. And the match was underway.

Jeremy McAllister touched the ball for the first time to hear the defend mock him with his “101 meaningless goals”, taunting him about how he could never win the important game, even though, he had. Jennifer Vilardi was taunted for being nothing more then a “worthless whore”. That seemed a little harsh, and Jennifer tried to punch one of the Dreamed Realm players, but her fist seemed to travel right through his face. The referee seemed ready to pull out a card then opted not to seeing that there didn’t seem to be any contact. Then Brett Carlson, whom the Dreamed Realm insists on trying to make believe that Jeremy McAllister is working against him so that Carlson will never one day beat his records. Everybody got a little something as the Dreamed Realm’s plan was having no problem in its execution. When they weren’t being taunted, they continued to say “Cup of Harmony forever” over and over and over again.

This obviously affected the game of the Rockets. They struggled to maintain their focus, and this led to many stupid passes and careless plays. Brian Carson stood on the sideline motionless. Normally, he would be shouting at his players, but even he too was distracted, because he had a non-stop ringing sound in his ear. A Harmonic sound, he was told by a voice in the 15th minute. But the players of the Dreamed Realm also seemed to be struggling. Was something bothering them as well? They were off their game, and the first half may have been more sloppy then a youth football match. The fans would have booed and voiced their displeasure in any way that they could but they were still in shock over what they had seen from the image of Borsinger over Stadium Vision. At halftime, with a 0-0 score we went, and something had to give.

The halftime talks in the home locker room tried to begin with a passionate speech until a fire somehow broke out. Instead of going over strategy at halftime, the players were forced to try and put out a very stubborn fire, which seemed to last, conveniently, for the entire halftime session. After the fire was extinguished seven objects appeared. They were the Di Bradini Cup rings, the very rings that they tossed into a fire they had set the previous day trying to cleanse the team of any curse. The rings were in mint condition, and strangely, not even hot. All the players could do was stare and no one wanted to put the rings back on until Carson noticed a message on the team’s blackboard. “Wear the rings in the second half, for us. Signed, you know who we are.” Well, they really didn’t know who they were. Should the message be obeyed or not? Unsure, the seven players picked up the rings but no one put them on. They had to run back out onto the pitch with no time to go over anything, or even relax for a short moment.

The Holy Empire’s players seemed very refreshed and were much more in sync. They were all over the Rockets in the second half and getting quality chances, and would score rather quickly, in the 48th minute to go up 1-nil. The old men laughed and taunted the players more now that they had the safety and security of a goal lead. They continued to press the play, and it was pretty fortunate that they did not score again. Once the 60th minute came around, they seemed to be more relaxed and confident that they would hold on to this victory and went to more of a defensive focus. In the 73rd, Jeremy Brooker was whistled for a rough tackle of one of the old men in the box and the Holy Empire was awarded a penalty. This would be it, thought many in the stands. Keeper Chris Kusler shook his head and felt the ring in his pocket. “Wear them in the second half, for us.” The message said, but it was ignored, and in such, the Rockets had been completely outplayed in the half. Kusler took the ring, and put it back on the same finger in which he would always wear it. The shooter lined up the shot, Kusler dove the correct way and the ball landed directly into his hands as if that’s what the shooter wanted to do. The fans cheered, and Kusler ran over to Brooker immediately. “Put the ring on now!” he told Jeremy as he showed him the ring on his finger. It took Brooker a few minutes to pass on the word, and he felt that it would also be important for Corey Hennis and Shawn Drummond to be wearing it even though they weren’t actually playing. It was about the 80th minute when the players who had the rings finally were able to get them on, and suddenly the whole complexion of the game was changing. Newmanistan was in control, but it wasn’t until an 83rd minute substitution of Brett Carlson in favor of Shawn Drummond in which Brian Carson did on a hunch that the opportunities began becoming serious scoring threats. In the 88th minute, perhaps they got they the proper sequence of touches to appease the Spirits. Chris Kusler, to Jeremy Brooker, who found Alex Parnett in the midfield. Parnett to Drummond in the box. Drummond to McAllister. McAllister shoots and scores. All players who touched the ball were wearing the ring, and the match was all tied up. Here it would end.

There wasn’t a Di Bradini Curse. The worst nightmare was the belief that there was one. The Dreamed Realm delivered the nightmare, but the spirits of Tundra Falls showed them that on these sacred and hallowed grounds, they have company. The end result, fittingly, a draw.

The good Count noticed one of his players had smirk on his face. It was the pervert Gray Kinksten, so it meant he was up to no good.

Count: What are you smiling about?
Gray: Nothing, I haven't done anything wrong.
Count: I know you're up to something.
Gray: I'm not doing anything.

Count: Peeking in the female changerooms?
Gray: No
Count: Hiding cameras where they shouldn't be?
Gray: No

Count: Hiding the clothes of female team members so they have run around naked to find them?
Gray: No
Count: Putting itchy powder in women's underwear?
Gray: No

Count: Posting embarassing videos of Jeru FC team members on the Internet
Gray: No
Count: Locking poor Kaye Rocoossk out of her room when she's gone for a shower.
Gray: No

Count: Getting Julia Pilsner really drunk so she's easy to take advantage of.
Gray: No
Count: Spying on Dinkie Dosha again?
Gray: No

Count: Claiming you're related to Merginn again?
Gray: No
Count: Hey, I don't want trouble OK. Last thing I need is for you to get arrested doing something illegal.
Gray: Don't worry, I'll be fine!

<Julia Pilsner in a towel appears>

Count: What's the problem?
Julia: There's a huge snake in the female changing room.
Gray: Hey, don't look at me. I don't like snakes.
Julia: I'm sure it's you.

Gray: Wasn't me, I'd prefer to use spiders.
Coach: OK, I'll go sort it out.

<Later>

Gray: So, who was it?
Coach: Apparently, an escaped pet.
Gray: No spiders then?
Coach: No spiders ... why are you asking about spiders.

Gray: I think the snake ate the spiders.
Coach: What spiders?
Gray: Never mind
Coach: Can you just keep to looking at Dazza porn please?

Gray: I've got a great video of Marie doing something in the spa for you.
Coach: Err, no thanks.

Surprise, doubt then joy as Peisandros wins 2 - 0.

Spurred by poor performances and a nasty newspaper column by 'journalist' Nicola Diamandi di Samarina, the Peisandros football team have pulled off a fantastic 2-0 victory away at Rymeria. The win, coupled with the home draw against Tynelia, really puts the Peisandros campaign back on track. Green Wombat remained just three points behind, but Peisandros probably have the better draw -- the Wombats still have to play the top three teams on the table including Peisandros. However Peisandros play unranked Euro Federations and Secristan on the road, where they should aim for atleast four points.

The game saw an amazing return of form for George Theotokis and captain Urias Halkias. Each were probably inspired more so than anyone by the aforementioned form issues and newspaper columnist.

Coach Alexander Pappas had a good talking to to Theotokis on the eve of the Tynelia game saying he basically had two games to rediscover the form that has seen him score and set up many international goals. On an important night, George stepped out of his brothers shadow and shone. Goals were needed and George delivered with one of the best seen in a Peisandros game.

It only took him 19 minutes, on the strange and distant planet Rymeria, to find the back of the net. Brother Costa was charging up the left flank when he cut in, only to find his legs completely taken out by defender Tom Russell. Everyone was surprised when Russell wasn't shown a card, even the home crowd. Alas a free kick was given and it was around this time George got a wee feeling in his stomach. It could have been the spaceship food or the pills the Rymerian doctor prescribed for a migraine. But no, it was a feeling that now was his time. He ran over to his brother, already setting up for the free kick.

GT: "C, bro, I got to take this one."
CT: "What do you mean? I've been taking the free kicks our whole life."
GT: "I know, but I've got a feeling."
CT: "A feeling?"

GT: "A feeling."
CT: "How strong we looking at here?"
GT: "Strong enough C, I think I have to."
Ref: "Boys, hurry it up please!"

GT: "Please bro."
CT: "Okay Georgie. Good luck. Want me to make a run somewhere?"
GT: "Yeah wherever you want, I plan on scoring though."
CT: "Haha, that's my brother. Go hard."

And 'go hard' he did. Composed himself first. Quick prayer. Visualized. Then bang. The ball didn't swerve, it didn't dip. From the left side of the field, he cracked it just over the Rymeria wall and the ball went flying in to the top right corner. Keeper Matt Peters looked shocked as he was left rooted to the spot. 1-0 after 19 minutes and Peisandros had their mojo working.

50 minutes later and George Theotokis confirmed his fantastic return to form. This time he wasn't to score, but he set up club team-mate Paris Sisinis. Sisinis, as an aside, scored his fourth goal in just his fifth game -- an impressive strike rate. However the day was George Theotokis'. It was a counter attack which started after captain Halkias (we'll get on to his performance soon) made a solid tackle and passed forward to Chatzi. Chatzi looked down field and saw George charging past the half way line as defenders tried to back track. The ball was played to George who managed to win it even with two defenders on his back. A third came charging in as he considered a shot. A simple dummy left then right dealt to him. However then the fourth defender, Thompson, came to try and dispossess Theotokis. By the stage Sisinis had made his run to the box and George, noticing this, chipped Thompson and left Paris with the easiest of volleys to smash home for the 2-0 lead. 69th minute and Peisandros in full control and George Theotokis on fire. Lets hope it can continue.

Now for captain fantastic Urias Halkias. The Sandrian team was very quiet after the blasting received by Halkias and coach Pappas in the Peisandros Daily, rumoured to be on orders from the PFA, who, also according to rumours, may be looking at taking legal action. Anyway, back to football and away from politics.

Halkias had struggled adjusting to his new role as national captain and maintaining his usual high standard of football and was the first to admit it.

"I've struggled a bit, sure. I think my consistency is the main issue. I wasn't stringing good performances together. Also it was hard to find the balance between captain and player within a new team environment. I've always tried to lead from the front but it's been difficult."

All these problems seemed to fade away in Rymeria, as the midfielder found a great balance between attack, defence and marshalling his troops. He created chances for the twins and had some himself. The interplay and passing with his other midfielders was slick and confident. In defence he was able to stop many attacks before they really begun. As for leadership, it's difficult to gauge from an outsiders point of you. However, he did appear to be very vocal in the field and the players listened when he talked -- there were no faces of disdain or acts of confusion, good signs.

The initial response in Peisandros to the news of the victory was surprise. The last time the Sandrians had score two goals in a game was the Baptism of Fire final, which they lost anyway. As mentioned in the title, some didn't even believe it. There were many calls to talk-back radio with people questioning the ability of Peisandros to win by more than one goal. When it set in, there was a great sense of happiness around the larger cities; much drinking, much dancing.

There are now just four games remaining in the World Cup qualification period and the formula seems relatively easy for Peisandros: don't let Green Wombat get four more points in the final four games. Next is a vital home game against Terrerio de Ogum, who they drew 0-0 with in the first round. Unsurprisingly Coach Pappas has named an unchanged side for the next two games, although there is a chance Terry Roubanis is carrying a bit of an injury, so keep an eye out for that.

THE HOLY EMPIRE HERALD

OPPONENTS DOOMED TO CUP OF HARMONY
Assistant Coach Denies Knowledge of 'Curse'

By Anna Comneno


A thrilling 1-1 draw in Tundra Falls, Newmanistan consolidated the Holy Empire's position at the top of the group, while increasing the chances that the home side would be doomed to participate in the Cup of Harmony.

Again.

Indeed, the prospect of an eternity in the Cup of Harmony seemed to make the home side nervous, as the Holy Empire fielded an older and more experienced squad than they have done of late. Yet the Imperial squad themselves seemed somewhat out of sorts, and the first half degenerated into a pallid 0-0 draw, with neither team creating much in the way of chances.

The Imperial squad came out like a team transformed in the second half, racing to a 1-0 lead as the prospect of yet another Cup of Harmony seemed to reduce the home players to nervous wrecks. This has been a curious feature of most Imperial opponents this campaign, as every team we've faced - except perhaps Milchama and Septentrionia - have inexplicably been reduced to gibbering idiots by the end of the match. Clearly, the Empire's reputation precedes them.

Yet Newmanistan commendably recovered, saving a penalty that would have sealed their fate, and then scoring a last-gasp equaliser through MacAllister after a clever substitution by the home coach.

Imperial officials were left baffled by the Newmanistan post-match press conference, which was full of mentions of 'magic rings', 'local spirits' and - most strangely of all - a 'curse of Di Bradini' that they had 'overcome'.

Imperial assistant coach Simeone Di Bradini, looking slightly ashen-faced, categorically denied that any curse existed, or could in any way be associated with his name, noting that despite the excitement of the home team in achieving a draw against the single most experienced team in international football, they were still probably doomed to the Cup of Harmony this season.

And possibly forever.

The Rothsbere Reader

Boffins reveal SN football aims

The Beningrad University of the Bleeding Obvious has today, once again reared it's head. Speaking earlier today to SNTV, second year students, Kevin Shanksy and Jane LeMont revealed that they have spent the weeks since the Sorthern teams excellent win over the capitalist pigdogs, Caplitalizt SLANI investigating exactly what it is that the Sorthern team must do to qualify for the World Cup. After hours of research, pencil nibbling, beer drinking and unprotected sex they were able to reveal that Jane is pregnant. And that Sorthern Northland need to gain more points than Kenavt, or beat Jeru FC and gain the same number of points as them.

Speaking enthusiastic about their discovery, Shanksy told reporters, “At the moment Sorthern Northland are level on points with Kenavt but sit below them in the table. Kenavt are third and Sorthern Northland fourth. You need to be at least third to qualify. The reason Kenavt are above us is due to the tiebreaker system in place where the team with the better head to head records gets the higher spot. Both matches against Kenavt have been played with Kenavt getting four points from them, meaning Sorthern Northland can only finish above them by winning more points over the next four games. This will put Sorthern Northland on a higher points tally overall placing them higher in the table and in all likelihood, at least third. As for Jeru FC, we still have to play them with the first match being a draw. Supposing both teams win the three matches not against each other and Sorthern Northland beat Jeru FC, Sorthern Northland will have a higher points tally placing them higher in the table.”

Critics are said to be wondering why exactly the government still funds this institution. Other recent research has revealed that Bostopia were the third team to qualify for the 44th World Cup, that the two hosts (Candelaria And Marquez and Kura-Pelland) were the first two to qualify, that Emperor Boston is bloody annoying, that money does not grow on trees and that Bostopia's new website is quite awesome. Many academics are mystified as to how they reached that conclusion on the final one but agree on the others.

The University is set to reveal the results from their current investigation into the upcoming Cassadaigua versus Sorthern Northland match in the next twenty four hours.

In a steam engine, cutoff is the point in the piston stroke at which the inlet valve is closed.

In the NS World Cup, it... isn't.


Scores! Bloody loads of 'em! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14397857&postcount=15)

Player profile: Reese Nichols

In brief: Nichols retired from international play when the Incorporated Football Federation announced it wasn't fielding a team for AOCAF XX. He continued to don the kit for the Woodstock Wild of the Sarzonian Football Confederation and led it to three SFC Cup finals matches in four years.

He formed a strong friendship with fellow forward Matt Lynch despite the fact they played on rival teams in the SFC while they played together during AOCAF XIX. Lynch plays for the Portland Timbers, who have developed a fierce rivalry with the Wild. Nichols and Lynch work out together in the offseason and have bought neighbouring houses in Nicksia's beachfront district.

Nichols works out intensely, doing upper body workouts two days per week, lower body workouts two days per week and cardio twice per week, only taking Sundays off. Some of his favourite pastimes include technology, classical music and archery.

He scored the lone Sarzonian goal during their 1:1 draw with Taeshan at Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium in Woodstock, equalising the score in the 23rd minute after Taeshan's Alex Tyrony scored in the 12th minute to put the visitors ahead. Again, it was a feed from Lynch that set Nichols up for the tally.

Nichols cited former Sarzonian national team coach Alan Whittsig as one of his biggest influences in a survey conducted before the team's last day of training prior to the World Cup proper. Whittsig is reported to have introduced Nichols to Lynch and suggested the two might get on. Some have suggested the two have developed quite the "bromance," but the two forward don't use such a silly term.

As for the Stars as a whole, the team now rests one point behind West Zirconia for the third and final qualifying position for World Cup XLIV. Nichols said it'd be great if the team qualified, but, "no one except those who've obsessed about us," expects the Stars to be among the final 32 sides in a not-so-subtle shot against Krytenia.

As for Sarzonia's away match to O Ale Ale, Nichols said he figured the team would play "in a beer bottle" if it had to, but would strive to get the three points regardless.

"They can put us in a kegerator if they have to. We'll outwork 'em and work for the result."

http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/7993/dailyturkjo0.png
Arroza 3 – 2 Koseli Cumhuriyetler
Turks Out, Poor Performance
That's it the Turks are done, finally knocked out and playing for pride, which was dented in the game that finished them. The Arrozans took an early 3-0 lead after 17 minute.

The Turks Pulled one back in the 51st minute via Sinan Kose's long range strike that flew into the top corner. The Turks looked likely to score again after a 20 minute period of domination resulted in nothing, it was the Turks ability to counter attack that pulled it to 3-2 via a Gokhan Asik strike from 18 yards. The Turks once again found an equalizer, however Serkan was deemed offside, despite replays showing him to have been a yard onside however the final whistle went and the Turks are now condemned to the Cup of Harmony, but it could have been worse, some good performances on the way.

Irenlith Rangers F.C. would like to compete

We would like to send Irenlith Rangers F.C. from the county of Cumbreiland to compete in the 44th NationStates World Cup.

This will be the first time our nation & continent (we are a continent too!) has ever entered any competition like this.

Chris Hannan drove to the practice facility in Atalanta the morning after the Rymerian national soccer team lost its latest game, a 2-1 loss at Secristan. He was playing over in his mind different strategies he tried that didn't work, such as playing for a second goal after taking an early 1-0 lead.

When he got to the facility, however, he noticed his key didn't work. He tried it two, three, four times. He punched an access code. That didn't work. Finally, he pushed a button to call the receptionist.

"Rymerian Soccer."

"Kathy, let me in."

"Coach?"

"Yes, it's Chris Hannan. Let me in."

"I can't, sorry."

"What do you mean you can't?"

"Uh, did no one tell you?"

"Tell me? Tell me what?"

"Uh, sorry. I didn't want to be the one to tell you, but..."

"But what?"

"Chris, you were fired."

"What?!"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't anyone tell me? And what about coming to get my stuff?"

"Your stuff was thrown out."

Hannan slumped to the ground next to the door. He was seen sitting there, stunned, when he saw Scooter Boscoe, the president of the Rymerian Soccer Association, walk in.

"Scooter, what the hell is going on?"

"Get the hell off this property or I'm calling the police."

"Not until you give me some answers!"

"Get. Off. This. Property!"

Finally, the police came and carefully led Hannan away. Assistant coach Dave Morris would serve as the head coach until the end of qualifying.

Purple Knights Knot the Stars

Well we didn't lose to Sarzonia. But we didn't win either. The game finished in the exact same score as the previous match between the 2 had ended in Docktown. The Knights though came of the field happy as they are still within qualifying reach, and with only one spot open to qualify and the Daehanjeiguk team already in that game should be a thriller. Dariusville next week should be a sleeper, and the West Zirconians are really the biggest team left on schedule.

Well in yesterdays game Alex Tyrony scored the Knights lone goal in the 12th minute. Later the Stars would tie it up on a Reese Nichols goal, with a Matt Lynch assist. Fans don't know why Tyrony was put in in the first half, but there is speculation that there is a problem with one of the players. Anyways see you at the next game.

World Cup 44 Qualification - Group 2
MD1: 2-0 vs [42] West Zirconia (@ Munhwa Football Stadium - 65,000, Hanseong)
MD2: 0-2 @ [???] Sarzonia (@ Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium - 88,920, Woodstock)
MD3: 5-0 vs [76] Dariusville (@ Potala Palace - 34,000, Lasa)
MD4: 2-0 @ [54] Liventia (@ Colonial Stadium, Orean)
MD5: 2-0 vs [1] Valanora (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium - 200,000, Hangyeong)
MD6: 1-0 @ [34] Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colosseum - 599,000, Atlantea)
MD7: 3-0 vs [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium - 80,000, Gwangju)
MQ: 1-4 @ Sorthern Northland (@ somewhere new and special, but I haven't a clue...)
MD8: @ 4-0 [42] West Zirconia (@ Manchester Street - 85,000, Moorcroft)
MD9: 2-0 vs [???] Sarzonia (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium - 50,000, Daebo)
MD10: 3-0 @ [76] Dariusville (@ Humphra Ignhorium - 2,000, some forest in Dariusville)
MD11: 3-1 vs [54] Liventia (@ Silk Road Stadium - 56,000, Seoan)
MD12: @ [1] Valanora (@ Hatire Memorial - 60,000, Capri)
MD13: vs [34] Taeshan (@ Tae-majt Park - 69,000, Pyeongyang)
MD14: @ [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ hopefully not in a beer bottle)



MBC World Cup Special Report
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Young Han take the Field and Defeat Liventia - Valanora is Next Up

SEOAN - Three more games to go and the Han are still in hot form with a 3-1 win over Liventia today. Unfortunately, it wasn't a clean sheet for Kim Jongguk, but that's alright because Yang Gyuseong was in the net today, as Ioshido Toki took off a lot of the fast players and opted for a younger side in preparation for the away match in Valanora. Incidentally, Kim Daeeui was away in C&M for a big win with his clubside, while Kim Mihyeon racked up a goal for the Han and set up another for Yi Suyeong, her first international goal (as far as we're aware). The Liventian side managed to steal away a goal after the break, but An Pilrip managed to keep the Han's distance over the Liventian side, as they Han soundly beat Liventia at home.

And there you read the entirety of that match. Aside from the numerous changes Ioshido made, the Han were largely all the same; they dominated the match completely, and even fell back to old habits with a bit weak defense towards the latter stages of the match, but thankfully, the Han held their ground against one of the worse-faring teams in World Cup Qualification. As for Valanora, it's going to be a different story. Edging a slender 1-0 win away in Taeshan, the Vanorians are going to be a bit antsy about pulling off a win and at least getting some hope of taking back some pride and finishing qualification on top; and no shame to them if they don't. But no shame if the Han lose to Valanora either; the top side once again meeting the 11th side, in a contest that it is widely expected to determine who gets to qualify on top of the group. For the Vanorians, it is a must win (or draw) and hope for more settlement; for the Han, it's blessed assurance if the Vanorians lose (because I don't care how mathematically inclined you are, you can't get 7 points from 2 games). A loss though will still leave the Han with a one-point cushion over the Vanorians in their final two matches, which will leave the Vanorians hoping that the Han stumble in their later games. A draw will leave the two teams as they are, and keep the race as tight until the final day (well, maybe).

For Ioshido though, winning away against Valanora will give some credence to the Han's vested interests in qualifying and winning the World Cup this season - and not next season, as Cha Beomgeun insists. Of course, saying it is one thing and doing it is another. The qualifiers are a bit of a blessing in that any one of any team can become the World Cup Champion, but after a rigorous campaign, only one team will get the distinction. And almost doesn't quite cut it, even if you're Catholic.

But back to World Cup Qualifying (I keep going on these trails, it's embarrassing...), once through with the Valanora match, we'll have one last home match at Tae-Majt Park in Pyeongyang, home to the Pyeongyang Gukjei side of Taeshan's Tae-Majt (and I remind you, the last time that the Han scheduled a match in a "foreign" home stadium, they lost). What was an equally tense away match for the Han, the Han will have the opportunity to slow down and ease a draw or simple win with Taeshan, who will be hoping for more than just a point to qualify for the World Cup (they'll need at least three points to secure a spot, hoping that West Zirconia and Sarzonia lose in their coming games - something that Taeshan may influence with a home fixture against WZ at the end of qualifying). But whatever the result, we're going to be hoping that the Han end qualification with a smile against O Ale Ale, somewhere stuck in a beer bottle supposedly (hopefully, not drinking any of it).

Dancougar News!!
Entering the DK code so the players all look silly.

Wings qualify with squeaker in St Samuel: Dancougar has seen a drop-off in offensive production since the game with Qazox, as not even the backups are popping them in with the frequency they did during their initial 6-0-0 spurt. But they played admirably in St Samuel to come away with a 1-0 that sealed qualification with three games in hand, and it's given Solomon Bilbao some useful information for when it comes time to decide who to take with him to the final tournament.

The lone goal came in the first half for Augustine Dennin, the Yuki City Athletic forward who serves as his team's main scoring threat. Athletic has seen a drop-off over the past few seasons but retains hopes of returning to the top four, and Dennin's development will spearhead that effort. Having scored now for the national team, Dennin will no doubt get a boost of confidence that will be crucial for Athletic down the stretch, and even moreso with their Globe Cup opener approaching. There were several spells of play that saw him also play well with fellow forward Karen Stadler of King's Eleven, who since her rookie season has been the focal point of her club's offense.

"You could come up with any number of stories for the players on this team," said Dennin, who saw two other efforts parried by the St Samuel goalkeeper, Niclas Corinthian. "Everyone here's done something that got the FA to turn their way. And when you get a chance to actually play, it's exciting, you know. You want to go out there and make plays and give them a reason to call you back."

It was a sound, but unspectacular performance by the team all-around, with St Samuel limited to three attempts on goal that were all snuffed out by Luke Brengle, who will join Dennin in the Globe Cup with Eastport United. Faced with a barrage of direct balls, the defense did a good job of cleaning them up and winning the possession battle. The few attacks which did develop ended in Brengle's hands or in turnovers, with Joseph Cecilia playing very well on the far right side. He kept Enzo Mazzeranni completely silent, with no attempts on goal from the Saint Maria man.

The Wings were playing in a seldom-used 4-4-2 with Alexei Voronzoff taking the captain's armband. He had two shots on target during the match but was more valuable in a support role. It was his pass which set up the goal that won it for Dancougar in the 23rd minute. After playing it square and getting it right back, he found a chink in the St Samuel defense. With one quick motion, he'd sent a pass through it and Dennin ran on for the redirect. Corinthian made few mistakes during the match, and the goal could hardly be blamed on him.

"We had some good looks on goal," said Voronzoff. "We didn't capitalize on our chances, and that's going to hurt down the line. But there are other ways to measure success, and I think we did a lot of things right."

"A win is a win," said Bilbao, who says he will continue cycling his lineup in order to make some personnel decisions. "Obviously we want to do better, but now that we have qualification secure, we can try some different things without having to worry too much about it impacting the campaign."

Group six day in review: Who would've expected Akbarabad to be the threat down the stretch? Rennidan's 2-1 win over Operata may be too little too late, for they sit fifth in the table behind Akbarabad, who got a 3-0 road win against Colbourne. You'll recall the Wings got picked apart in Colbourne 3-1, so the upstarts have definitely got something going for them. They're now four points out of the final spot as Kelssek held firm at 19 points, with the Phoenix continuing to cruise, this time 3-1.

New faces expected against Akbarabad: Well, even if Akbarabad is getting hot at the right time, Bilbao still feels like he can do as he pleases at home. Again, he's counting on the friendly home environment to help ease the players into the game, and one can expect to see some fresh faces in the starting eleven. How well they'll stand up to this late-stage run of Akbarabad is anyone's guess, although they should be able to manage a draw in front of the Yuki City faithful.

STARTING XI: Brengle; Samrov, van der Horst, Carter, Raikatuji; McNespy, Morisue, Voronzoff, Whittaker; Garbett, Dinsmoor
SUBSTITUTES: Silberstein; Leeds, Cecilia; Hayashi, Ingram; Stadler, Dennin

===========================================

Brandenstein's earpiece buzzed as the other teams started to report in. The charges were placed and the teams were getting out. Since there was no telling when the Dancougar would finish off the titan, the charges were to be detonated remotely at the right time. Brandenstein had the detonator in his briefcase but didn't plan on using it. He had other ideas.

As they crept deeper into the cavern, Stephen could sense that they were getting closer. The temperature was going up and the colonel was mumbling something to himself in the ancient tongue. "You never planned on giving him the crystals, did you?" Stephen asked at last.

Brandenstein stopped, forcing Stephen to also come to a halt. His commanding officer remained facing forward, and he smiled. "Now, whatever would give you that idea?" he asked. "A deal is a deal, yes?"

"Not when you can use this to seize power for yourself," Stephen replied.

"And how might I do that?" Brandenstein decided to play the devil's advocate. Besides, Stephen would find out sooner or later... no use holding back the truth if he'd figured it out.

"The way I see it, you need to generate a scandal in order to build the public's mistrust of the current government," Stephen began. "A series of secret operations against a supernatural army fit that bill nicely. And you'd set yourself up nicely as the hero but defeat the demon lord yourself. You know how because you could read those inscriptions."

"That seems like an awful lot of work just to stir up some trouble," Brandenstein chuckled. "Surely I could've just created a news leak."

"But you know it will come to blows whether you can control of the information or not," Stephen continued. "Most of the army is not loyal to you. You can count on your base and some of your direct subordinates, and you have access to to R&D. But the Dancougar itself is strong enough to stop you. You needed a force strong enough to neutralize it, and this demon army presents a kind of strength it's not built to fight. Even if it could defeat all the titans, the fight would drain the machine and its pilots just long enough for you to make your move. And it saves the hassle of involving a foreign army or forging connections with terrorists."

Brandenstein at last turned to face Stephen. "I guess you've figured it all out... you already know I don't plan on detonating those charges."

"Naturally, " Stephen replied. "You need to draw the public's attention somehow. These bombs could be disguised as a seismic event, but if you force the Rhinemaidens to drop Mjollnir, it will be impossible to hide. That's where you fire off the leak. Once you have the support of the public, you can rally your supporters to march on the capital and take the palace. And as long as the Dancougar is out of commission, you stand a fighting chance if it comes to a pitched battle."

"I made the right choice, bringing you aboard," Brandenstein said at last. "You've made all the right deductions. Once I'm in control, you'll be perfect for the intelligence agency."

"That's a good position," Stephen replied. "There's only one problem..." A gunshot echoed throughout the cavern. Brandenstein felt a twinge run through him and he collapsed on his knees, then to the ground. Blood poured out of his chest. "I feel my talents would be better utilized higher up the chain of command."

**********

"Go through!!" yelled Tetsuya. He made a cut with the sword aimed right at the neck. It connected with force, penetrating some ways in before grinding to a halt.

"Too shallow!" said Daniel.

"But it's through!" Tetsuya replied. Indeed, the sword had split the titan's core. It had stopped moving and was starting to wobble as if it were weakened and disoriented. "Come on, Dancougar!!" With one last push, he managed to shove the sword into the body and get the orb to shatter. The creature moaned and started to collapse, but used the last of its strength to throw its corpse on top of the machine.

"Temperature's climbing!" Joe said. "He'll overload the core at this rate!"

"Shut it down, then!" Tetsuya yelled back. Joe fumbled with the switches and managed to start the power down just as the creature glowed brightly and exploded in a brilliant flash that covered the entire battlefield in light. The Lancers on the ground were blasted with debris and the Rhinemaidens were thrown off their flight path. The forest was completely lost.

The dust settled and the smoke cleared. The Dancougar was still there, lying on the ground in a charred, mangled wreck. The radio crackled as each of the pilots confirmed that they were okay, but the unit itself wouldn't budge. Luckily, it seemed like they wouldn't need to. The flying eyes had all been sacrificed by the blast and no more were emerging from the mountain. The Rhinemaidens had stabilized in GUARDIAN mode and were hovering nearby.

A radio call came from the ground team. "Angel One, come in!" Inoue said.

"Captain, we've confirmed the enemy command can be destroyed conventionally!" came a panicked voice. "They got the Colonel, but then we... the charges won't detonate, we're... drop Mjollnir!"

"Hold on, how do you...?" Inoue asked.

The man on the other end was breathing heavily. "You have to, or else... hey, you said you wouldn't k..." Static. There was a brief gurgle and the line was cut.

Inoue turned to the mountain, which was eerily silent. She made her decision. "All units, ground team confirms enemy command can be destroyed directly!" she called. "All units, drop Mjollnir!"

A few surviving Lancers were dragging the Dancougar's remains away from the battlefield. A jeep was chugging away as fast as it could go, but nobody noticed or paid any attention to it. Above, the Rhinemaidens lined up in a single formation of six fighters. They approached the mountain unmolested and dropped their payload. The mountain shook as the explosives tore into the interior. This caused the placed charges to detonate, reducing a quarter of the mountain to a rocky mess in an instant. Now everything was quiet. The battle for Mount Fujiko was over.

Fred Dawner saw Sean Dastrin walking down the field long after the game had ended and most people were long gone. He knew that Sean was really taking all of this personally. He was en intense coach, and he hated to lose. Fred walked slowly up to him, before Fred even knew that Sean was aware of his presence, he said, "What's the use Fred? I keep trying to make us look like a professional team, but we are not. Not even close."

"That's not true, we're just having an off-year."

"Perhaps, but I doubt that I'll be chosen for next year's world cup. This could be the end of the road for me."

"You are still a very good coach. People understand that we are a young team."

"I hope you're right, Fred. Sometimes I think that you, Cameron, and me are the only ones really trying to win out there."

"His making a goal in almost every game is impressive, isn't it?"

"This definitely isn't the end of the road for him."

"And it isn't for you either, good night coach." With that, Fred walked back towards the parking lot.

Sean stood there in the field for a few more minutes, staring at the grass. There was nothing left to do or say, it was over for Draistania, but it had been a wild journey here. Maybe next year, that was the only thing that anyone could say.

OLHO NO LANCE! - YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE
Partner of Globo Multimedia

WORLD CUP 44 QUALIFIERS – full coverage
Written by Sílvio Ruiz with comments by Breno Gavião [I mean, Cléber Foice] (from TV coverage)

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MONOPOLISTS RETURN TO WIN

The situation was the worst, the supporters were desperate and furious with the team, and even a the heart of a poor commentator suffered with the bad form of the Cafundelense National Team. The country’s citizens were in need of some good news, and today they received one: the Monopolists’ victory over the Blouman Empire. It’s right that this result was the natural one, as at home Cafundéu had the obligation to defeat this opponent. But, after the recent slips, the supporters were worried. And, even after this victory, they continue worried, but at least can sleep satisfied with the last result of their nation’s football team. With the result, Cafundéu now returns to the top three positions of the group, although there is still time to get to the top of the table.

About the game, it wasn’t a lively one. Cafundéu, as in the recent games, didn’t play well, had few chances to score and the players seemed to be suffering with the pressure of the supporters over them. The coach David Nefasto insisted in using the same tactics, something much criticized by the people in the stands of the Arena América in Abadia. Fortunately, the mysterious team from Blouman Empire didn’t give much threat to the Monopolists, and the Cafundelenses could slowly take the control of the game. The goalkeepers had few work to do in the first half, and practically just watched the game, having to jump one time or another to make some easy saves. The game was boring, but the supporters could easily notice that Cafundéu seemed more ready to improve the performance than Blouman Empire.

In the second half, Nefasto maintained the team of the first half. As the game was poor, the supporters got prepared to criticize the coach for this attitude. But they didn’t have time to do that, as in the third minute of the second half Augusto César scored a goal, receiving a pass in the midfield and shooting just before the entrance of the area. With the goal, the responsibility of attacking to get a better result went to Blouman Empire, a complete opposite situation of first half’s. The Monopolists didn’t stop attacking but, as in the first half, both teams didn’t get many good opportunities. In the end, Cafundéu could get this important victory, and the supporters felt that the team was never threatened during the game. But the team now has the responsibility of continue winning, as no one wants to see the team losing points again.

CLÉBER FOICE’S MOMENT – THE GOAL: “The Blouman Empire, with its mysterious players, is with the ball in the midfield, the midfielder will make a pass… no, not anymore, it seems that he lost the ball, oh yes, he did… who is with the ball now? I see, Silveira. So Silveira now controls the ball… well, he was controlling it, but already passed the ball to Augusto César. But now I guarantee that it is Augusto César who is with the ball, he runs in the direction of Blouman Empire’s goal, as of course he wants to score a goal, so he is running at the direction he should run. He will shoot… no, he already shot… and scored! GOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! The goalscorer is Augusto César, and Cafundéu is winning one to zero! Velog Trucks, quality, performance and strength for your transportation! Check it in one of our dealerships!”

LANG’S INTERVIEWS/OTHER NEWS: well, it seems that this result, although it wasn’t more than the team’s obligation, excited the coach and the players. The coach David Nefasto said: “We are a winning team. We had a bad phase, surely, but this is now in the past. We now reached the phase of victories, and the supporters can be sure that we won’t let them down!” The hero of the day, Augusto César, said: “This was a much needed goal. I know that the last games had been difficult for us, but it is time to plan a better future, we can return to be the strong Cafundéu team.” About Breno Gavião’s health situation, the heart bypass surgery was performed yesterday and it was a success. Breno continues in the Plaza Hospital in Lasft, but the doctors expect him to be fully recovered in less than a week. We of Globo Multimedia really are hoping for his full recovery.


CAFUNDÉU 1x0 BLOUMAN EMPIRE

Place: Arena América, Abadia.
Attendance: 88,709 people.
Time: 22:00 Cafundelense time (22:00 local time, of course).
Climate: clear, 25ºC.
Referee: Fr. Luke the Fair One (The Archregimancy).
Assistants: Danny Hutchkinsov (Sorthern Northland) and Karl Peprombol (Sorthern Northland).
POTM: Zé Sho (Cafundéu).

CAFUNDÉU: Kardec; Cícero, Renildo, Titov and João Carlos; Silveira, Zé Sho, Augusto César and Marossi (Jules 78’); Danilo Sampa (Túlio 78’) and Hubert (Alves 60’).
Coach: David Nefasto.

BLOUMAN EMPIRE: who knows?

Goal:CAF: Augusto César 48’.

QSPN.COM Breaking News

With the team already qualified, the QFA has decided to wait until after the completion of the qualifiers to name a new Head Coach. So with interim Coach/Team Captain Raul de Olivares in charge, de Olivares decided to let some of the older players, including himself to take the match off against Kelssek. The Match, @ Champions Field in Qazox City saw the Pheonix cruise to a 3-1 victory, lead by goals from Bonnie Young, Miche Fanimov and a suprising goal off the foot of Nathan Caulder, who was awarded his first international goal after a deflected shot bounced off of a Kelssek defender. Caulder was the closest player, and as such was awarded the goal (ooc: i know that's not exactly how it's used, but grant me some prosetic license).

With the loss, Kelssek finds themselves only 4 points ahead of suprising Akbarabad for the final spot. Dancougar edged out St. Samuel, and that win will see the Black Wings through. Other nations qualifying today include: Valanora, the defending champions; Bazalonia and Wentland, meaning all 3 spots from Qualifying Group 3 have been claimed; Capitalizt SLANI, and our old BoF mates Tynelia. 13 teams have earned their way into the 44th World Cup, and only 17 spots remain. Who will fill them?

As for the Phoenix, they now travel to Operata. The New Bruxen Casino has Qazox 13:2 favorites and the over/under is at 5.5 goals.

(ooc: 4600th post)

Pruxton Globe

A bit of good news, The Zombies are now only 4 points out of 3rd place with 3 games to go. A bitterly cold night at Iseerussiafrommyhouse, as temperatures were -13F at kickoff, and fell to -26F by the end of the game. Despite the cold, the Zombies thrived in the cold, while the home side seemed to be more affected by the chilly weather. 2 Goals from Dr. Mkembe, who had to play due to Zombie Just Fontaine's re-attached legs being frost-bitten. Dr. Mkembe suprisingly wasn't affected by the cold either, wearing his usual chicken-bone pants.

Now a trip back home to take on Brightonburg, who suprisingly drew us 1-1 earlier. As we've said before, wins are the team's only chance to qualify.


The schedule is this: (along with our Predictions for the Zombies)
Game 1: @ Yafor 2 LOST 0-2
Game 2: vs. Cafundeu LOST 1-2
Game 3: vs. Bears Armed WIN 3-2
Game 4: vs. LOST 1-2
Game 5: @ Brightonburg Draw 1-1
Game 6: vs. The Blouman Empire Draw 2-2
Game 7: @ Myedvedeya WIN 4-1
Game 8: vs. Yafor 2 LOST 0-3
Game 9: @ Cafundeu W 2-1
Game 10: @ Bears Armed LOST 2-4
Game 11: @ Iseerussiafrommyhouse WIN 2-0
Game 12: vs. Brightonburg (Win 4-1)
Game 13: @ The Blouman Empire (Loss 1-2)
Game 14: vs. Myedvedeya (Win 2-1)

PREDICTED RECORD: 7-3-4 24pts 3rd in Group.
ACTUAL RECORD: 4-2-5 14pts; 6th in group.

The Zito Zip

92nd minute goal by Tynelia.
Tynelia win also clinched them
a spot in World Cup.
Loss pushes Wombats to brink.
Next game against Aliens,
at home, not another universe.
A win and the final
two matches, will determine
the Wombats fate.


Schedule:
MD1: Secristan D 1-1 (0-1-0)
MD2: Terreiro de Ogum W 1-0 (1-1-0)
MD3: @ Euro Federations L 1-2 (1-1-1)
MD4: Tynelia D 1-1 (1-2-1)
MD5: @ Rymeria D 2-2 (1-3-1)
MD6: Peisandros L 0-1 (1-3-2)
MD7: @ Lovisa D 1-1 (1-4-2)
MD8: @ Secristan W 1-0 (2-4-2)
MD9: @ Terreiro de Ogum D 1-1 (2-5-2)
MD10: Euro Federations W 4-1 (3-5-2)
MD11: @ Tynelia L 1-2 (3-5-3)
MD12: Rymeria
MD13: @ Peisandros
MD14: Lovisa

Akbarabad still on course.


The Akbarabad national team remain on course for a world cup qualification spot, after a fine 3-0 away victory over Colbourne. In the end, it was a comfortable victory with goals from Zahid Mohammed (2), and Samin Akbar. It leaves the team only 4 points behind Kelssek, who stumbled to 3-1 away loss at Qazox. The Tigers have tough match coming up away against already qualified Dancougar, but a posive result here will greatly boost the side's chances.

Ryan: Good morning Pups.
Oksana: Good morning coach!
Ryan: Why do they call you Pups?
Oksana: I sound like a puppy dog when I'm giggling.

Ryan: Oh, explains why I think there's puppy dogs around the place during training.
Oksana: That would be me then.
Ryan: Oh how did your school exams go?
Oksana: I did OK, although I didn't do so well with the Bible Studies.

Ryan: You failed then?
Oksana: I think I did well enough to pass.
Ryan: Apart from that, what about the other exams?
Oksana: I think I passed the maths. Let's see ... I did well with English and Biology.

Ryan: Anything else?
Oksana: Rather average with Chemistry but I think Physical Education was pretty good.
Ryan: Physical Education shouldn't be too hard consider you're a football player.
Oksana: I'm good with Drama Studies and ... sex education.

Ryan: I'm sure you can't fail that. You are bit of an actress too.
Oksana: I think I passed everything.
Ryan: Not the rocket scientist then?
Oksana: Nah, I'm not that smart. I am smarter than Sadie though.

Ryan: My dog is smarter than Sadie Dallas.
Oksana: I think I did OK. I'm sure I didn't fail anything.
Ryan: So, no more school?
Oksana: Yes, school holidays!

Ryan: Except you're not on holiday are you?
Oksana: Oh yes, I'm not - I'm working.
Ryan: Well, now you can concentrate on football without school work now.
Oksana: I promise I'll work as a hard as before.

Ryan: You can have some time off when we qualify.
Scarlet: Hey Ryan, chatting up my girl here.
Ryan: Just asking how she's going with school.
Scarlet: She's a smart girl, if she applied herself. I think she's just lazy.

Ryan: When she's here, she's not going be lazy - right?
Oksana: Err, yes coach.
Ryan: That's a weird hat.
Scarlet: It's actually an oversized Pistachio nut husk.

Ryan: That big?
Scarlet: Well, it wasn't a normal strain of nut. One of the older ones.
Ryan: I hope the Dallas girls don't see that.
Oksana: It takes ages to get one that big.

Ryan: So what did it taste like then?
Scarlet: It was actually quite inedible.
Oksana: We turned it into an ornament since it was rather hard to eat.

The Zito Zip

92nd minute goal by Tynelia.
Tynelia win also clinched them
a spot in World Cup.
Loss pushes Wombats to brink.
Next game against Aliens,
at home, not another universe.
A win and the final
two matches, will determine
the Wombats fate.


Schedule:
MD1: Secristan D 1-1 (0-1-0)
MD2: Terreiro de Ogum W 1-0 (1-1-0)
MD3: @ Euro Federations L 1-2 (1-1-1)
MD4: Tynelia D 1-1 (1-2-1)
MD5: @ Rymeria D 2-2 (1-3-1)
MD6: Peisandros L 0-1 (1-3-2)
MD7: @ Lovisa D 1-1 (1-4-2)
MD8: @ Secristan W 1-0 (2-4-2)
MD9: @ Terreiro de Ogum D 1-1 (2-5-2)
MD10: Euro Federations W 4-1 (3-5-2)
MD11: @ Tynelia L 1-2 (3-5-3)
MD12: Rymeria
MD13: @ Peisandros
MD14: Lovisa

lol, you didn't go
to another land
for the Rymeria
match. You were in our
old stadia, home of
epic fail and loss.

Iambic pentameter?

THE ROCKET REPORT

FINDING PEACE ON THE ROAD

Alex Ruined Hallelujah- Normally, a team in which is on the bubble of qualifying, a bubble in which the Rockets can claim that they are finally on again after seeming like they were way out of this earlier, likes to play late stage game at home. But there is peace on the road, especially in a nation such as Alex Ruined Hallelujah, one in which isn’t exactly bringing in the home supporters with great frequency to their matches. There is uncertainty in Newmanistan these days, and as ironic as it may sound, the football team may be one of the more certain things going on in the Empire. Having reached their deal with Samseong, the team knows that they have a future. A different future, but a future nonetheless. At home, the makings a movement insisting on overthrowing the Empress and installing a democratic government have begun, and they gaining strength with a recent declaration of a military general in Southport that he would have his troops support the opposition if needed, and not the Empress.

The football team can tune this out. The next two home matches are on the road, this one and one against Nethertopia which figures to be more difficult. Gone now are meetings with the Holy Empire, unless by chance they meet in the World Cup Finals or something. The sporting media is doing exactly what they should be doing with just a few games remaining, and that’s figuring out qualification scenarios. For Newmanistan against ARH, there was only one scenario which would do. That of course is three points. This is a Newmanistan team that (Gasp!) controls its own destiny now. They can’t lose that to this opponent that has only lost so far. Their 10-for-10 in the loss column makes them the worst team in qualifying, even worse then the East Pocono Wolves, who have only scored two goals in their eleven games. There was a bit of a hangover for our team tonight though from what they saw against The Holy Empire. One should do a study on this, the after effects of a team in their next game after playing the Dreamed Realm. ARH scored two goals in the opening fifteen minutes against an extremely tentative defense. Jeremy Brooker seemed confused and Scott LaFave simply made a couple of blunders, attempting to make plays out of the backfield when he knows he should have cleared his lines. One of those blunders lead directly to a goal with a pass so cleanly to the opposing forward that he should be credited with an assist. But Scott rebounded very nicely after that score, which was their second of two, as if knowing he had to do anything he possibly could to avoid being the scapegoat. By the 25th minute, the game we expected to see began to pan out. The Rockets were in control of the action and starting to make some plays. The first golden opportunity came in the 29th minute, on a give-an-go between Jeremy McAllister and Alex Parnett, but the shot by J-Mac said just an inch wide of the left post. Three minutes later, another great chance, this one executed by Brett Carlson, but his shot also was just a bit wide. The Rockets certainly were coming, and as long as they improved on their finishing, it should just be a matter of time, though you could tell that they really wanted to get one of the two goals back before halftime. They would get what they were after, thanks to a nicely placed shot by Dale Stevens. This is the kind of thing the Rockets have been lacking somewhat, goals from midfielders not named Alex Parnett, even though Parnett hasn’t scored much either. Dale’s strike from about 25 yards probably should have been saved, but the 43rd minute score was a result of hard working beginning to pay off. At the intermission, the Rockets trailed 2-1, but were feeling pretty good about things overall.

During the intermission, Brian Carson gave the team a brief lecture about the importance of being prepared when the second half began. He felt that this was the reason the team gave up the two quick goals as they were not as ready to play this match as their opponents were, or perhaps they were taking their pointless opponents way too lightly. As long as the team was able to do that, then they should be able to come back and get three points. Carson was confident his team could score twice in the second half, but he knew that they could not afford to give up another score, because three goals in a half is much more difficult. A cool and collected team understoof the message and went out with the intention of playing smart football.

Carson’s message was delivered. The start of the second half was much this time around as the Rockets continued to move the ball around very well and control possession. ARH managed a shot in the 50th minute, but other then that, the action was very one sided. After a few rushes down the field that looked as if they were going to result in a goal, but did not for one reason or another, the Rockets were finally able to get the equalizer in the game’s 58th minute. Parnett, who’s setting up many goals this World Cup, just not scoring many, again made the play happen with a nice run up the center of the field. He saw J-Mac to his right, but elected to use him more as a decoy as the defense was anticipating that pass. Parnett would take the shot, but as has been his luck, the keeper made the save, but could not control the rebound. The ball made a fortuitous bounce to Brett Carlson, and from there it was pretty simply as he had plenty of net for what was essentially a tap in. From there we were tied, and ARH had that look of “Here we go again” on their faces. Before ARH could try to decide to play for the draw, the Rockets scored the go-ahead goal just two minutes after tying the match. Parnett, once again, would start the initial rush, but this time delivered a cross into the box for McAllister. With the defender glued to him, J-Mac’s header attempt was mistimed, and the goalkeeper made the save, but he bobbled the ball. Though he kept it in front of him, Jennifer Vilardi was quick to notice this, and got to the ball before anyone in an ARH kit could, and slipped it by the keeper to put the Rockets in front by the score of 3-2. Newmanistan kept on coming, and nearly scored again in the 65th minute, but Brett Carlson would ring one off the crossbar. From there, the defense held firm, and with the exception of an decent shot on Chris Kusler in the 79th minute, ARH was not able to threaten for the equalizer.

So right now, the Rockets stand at 5-2-4 in group 9, with three games left to play. The next match will be in Nethertopia, a loss that the team is very hungry to avenge. Afterwards comes the big showdown, at home against Milchama in Pocono City. Milchama is three points ahead of Newmanistan right now, but if Newmanistan wins this match, they will have the tiebreaker on the Warriors. Furthermore, Milchama has a rather difficult closing schedule. In addition to at Newmanistan, they will have the Holy Empire beforehand and Septentrionia after it. Both of those matches are in Milchama. Newmanistan closes out their schedule against Miroxia on the road. Newmanistan and Milchama have a bit of a history these days, mainly in football but also if you remember World Baseball Classic 8 when Milchama beat Newmanistan in the semifinals. That history therefore, has been very pro-Milchama, so there is no denying that Newmanistanians would find it very sweet to knock them out of the top three.

Gap to Green Wombat stretches to six points as Peisandros win at home

Peisandros built on their stronghold on the third qualifying spot in group five after beating Terrerio de Ogum in Delphi, while Green Wombat lost to Tynelia. The win improves the Sandrian's record to 6-2-3, not bad for the 84th ranked team who many had left for dead after a few losses. After a rousing 2-0 win last outing, the Sandrian players looked absolutely focused and determined not to make it a one-off victory. 44,889 people crammed in to the Peisandros Bowl as the football fever took over the country. They were not to be disappointed with an exciting game of football.

The first time these teams met they played out a dull draw but this was different. While the score shows only one goal, that does not tell the story of the excitement factor and huge skill shown. For once there was no real one stand-out in the Peisandros team, as everyone played well with four or five especially having great games.

Costa Theotokis rediscovered his goal scoring ability after watching his brother score a stunner last game out. Costa's wasn't quite so beautiful to watch, but the timing of the goal and the build up made it a special goal and showcased how Costa has that ability to put himself in goal scoring positions and finish well.

It came late in the last minute of ordinary time after both teams had gone close throughout the whole game. Replacement defender Narcissus Theodore, who came on for Kallias Manos early in the second half, intercepted a pass and dribbled away from the Sandrian penalty box. The ball then went through another seven players before landing at Captain Halkias' feet. He is in the zone at the moment and some how managed to get a ball though two defenders to Costa who did the rest. A cool finish for a great goal.

After the three minutes extra time was safely navigated, the Sandrian team celebrated their sixth victory of the campaign and the realisation that they were getting close. One more win could almost clinch a spot in the World Cup. Coach Alexander Pappas had been praised for the calm he showed, despite coming under vicious attack. It is clear we have the right man at the helm.

Stay tuned for coverage of Peisandros game in Euro Federations -- a game where they should be aiming to take atleast a point.

To: Samseong Board of Directors
From: Loudon Chamber of Commerce
Re: We’d love to have you

To whom it may concern:

All of us at the Loudon Chamber of Commerce would like to thank you for saving our national football team. As you have seen, the passions of our citizens have been ignited by what many feel is an intrusion of our quality of life when the Empress made her announcement. Fortunately, some good has come out of this, and that is Samseong coming to Newmanistan. We have heard that you are interested in setting up a base of operations within the Empire. We would be honored if you chose the city of Loudon to construct said headquarters and operate your business from. I know you may be wondering, why Loudon?

A) Location, location, location- As you know, Loudon is located in the Northeastern part of Newmanistan, on the shores of the Penthoria River, which is the largest river within the region of One Big Island. The mighty Penthoria serves as the border between Newmanistan and another nation who’s name should be familiar, that being Secristan. Establishing somewhat of a presence in their market, while not the intention of your sponsorship, could be made easier with a Loudon location as the two nations generally trade freely. But its not just Secristan, to Newmanistan’s north is Brightonburg, which is actually the most economically powerful nation in the region, and even though they may be a “non RPing newbie” right now, this is a strong market in which you could probably enter as a side effect of simply basing in Loudon. We are just south of that border.

B) Anti-Pocono City- Pocono City, as the Capital of the Empire, is the home of most of the people that will be loyal to the Empress, and thus perhaps not as many people who would be welcoming of your sponsorship.

C) Strong Market- Loudon is the second most populous city in the Empire, with strong suburban areas and other successful cities as well. Not to far west is the city of Hastings, which could be on interest as this is city is often dubbed the city with the most “international flavor”.

You may, perhaps, receive other bids from Newmanistanian cities for the establishment of your base which you plan on establishing in the country. We are here to let you know that Loudon is the best option, and we would be honored if Samseong would select us as the city of choice.


(And what fun would this be if I did not provide a counter-bid)

To: Samseong Executives
From: Putnam Lake Tourism
Re: Choose Putnam Lake!

Hello Samseong!

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Like most all Newmanistanians, us here at Putnam Lake Tourism Center are elated over your announcement to sponsor our national football team. Though they have never qualified for the World Cup, and have the odds stacked up against them to do so yet again, they have captured the imagination of our people and have made football fans out of all of us, regardless of the Empress’ claim that it is not popular enough in the Empire. Samseong has made a name for itself as being the number one corporate sponsor of sports in the world in our opinion, and the simple fact that you plan on establishing a strong market in Newmanistan is something that is very exciting even if this had nothing to do with football. We understand that now you are faced with a decision. A decision of where exactly in the country is the best place to base your headquarters in this market. While larger cities will certainly propose, we ask you for a strong consideration of Putnam Lake.

We recognize that you are coming to Newmanistan with the intention of profiting and we know that you will. With the way much of the Empire is already singing the praises of Samseong, I’m sure internet orders from here have greatly increased over what you had normally seen. It is with a football frame of mind though that you have made this decision, and Putnam Lake is a true football city. This is where the great Jeremy McAllister plays, although recent events are going to have him play in Dancougar now. Still, J-Mac is loyal to this city, and he will easily accessible to you for endorsements if your headquarters is here. He would be a natural choice of course, to sell products in this market. Our goalkeeper, Chris Kusler, also has Putnam Lake roots, so he as well should be easily available. It is not only this. Putnam Lake is in a prime southwestern location of the empire, on the shores of the sea of South Thumbria. This is an oil rich area, and therefore Southwestern Newmanistan is the home of the Empire’s most successful auto makers. This is the number-one industry in the country. Certainly, there could be mutual benefit between and electronics company and auto manufacturers. Southwestern Newmanistan is also home to the Empire’s most prestigious universities, and while Southport probably has a bigger claim to fame here, certainly college students will be a heavy consumer of your products. Not to mention, there is plenty of land available in Putnam Lake which could allow your workers to have a new view of the Sea of South Thumbria as they work in their offices. Coral Island, the #1 resort in the country, is not that far off, either.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

To: Queen Alexandra Katherine Dallas of Jeruselem
From: Jennifer Vilardi, Newmanistan forward
Re: Excited to play in Jeruselem!

Hello your Highness! I was here sitting through some of the offers that I have gotten to play internationally, and then I heard word that Jeruselem’s Premier League was interested in some of our players. At the moment I knew that I had my location, and my twin sister Shannon also plans on playing there! We have never been teammates at the club level before, and we would really love it if that could be worked out somehow as we enter the league. The amazing talents of the ladies that you put out there have always been something that I admired, and I also love the fact that your country admires us females that like to be, well, a little naughty sometimes. There I feel I can be the real player that I’ve always wanted to be, and my sister feels the same way.

Some of the guys on our team wanted me to tell you that they also would accept offers to play in Jeruselem. Midfielder Brian Rafferty is one, don’t be worried about his reputation he knows what a lady wants and is quite good at it, if you know what I mean. Backup national team keeper and long time starter Corey Hennis wants to go as well, and so does defender Bobby Foley. I don’t know him as well but he seemed to be excited.

Please let me know where to go from here. I’m all yours!

Cheers!
– Jenn V.

Grinding It Out For The Big Q
Championships are made of 1-0 wins - we hope

It's tough, it's desperate, it's lucky. Starblaydia come back from a visit Urna Electrônica with a 1-0 win to their name, having scraped a 1-0 at home over Jaseuyeon, all before a scrappy 1-1 draw with bottom team Draistania, giving them their fifth point (two matches later they're still on five, and have the big E next to their name). In all three matches, it has been an Elf who has rescued them. Ázëwyn Fëanáro in their latest match, with Valrauncion scoring Starblaydia's only goals in the previous two.

Thankfully there is a decent defensive record to be had, the best in the Group, with 'just' eight goals conceded in eleven matches. that gives them a fairly healthy Goal Difference, despite the lack of showboat scoring that Starblaydi fans were used to in years gone by. All in all, Starblaydia's strive to qualify - never mind win a championship - has been one of constant struggle, the 5-0 and 4-0 victories in the first half notwithstanding. With 20 points and a fairly solid second place in the Group, Lex Panarii's job now doesn't look as precarious as it once did. There were rumours that, if he failed to qualify, he would be out of a job unless he managed to win the Cup of Harmony.

For a top ten side (at least before the ranks would be updated) having to compete in the Cup of Harmony would surely be a no-win situation. A failure to qualify for the World Cup would be compounded by a failure to win a tournament where the team would be head and shoulders above the rest. Win the tournament and your obvious quality would be proved, but to no real glory. Not-win the tournament and the decline would be underlined.

It's been freezing cold, muddy, wet and otherwise totally dismal, but in each of these last few matches, Starblaydia have found their Elven players to be their saviours. Valrauncion is quite right to point out that every time he scores, Starblaydia win - barring inexplicable defensive errors, of course - and we do have to give him credit for a high games-to-goals percentage, if not his extremely high 'press conferences-to-shooting his mouth off' ratio.

Starblaydia put themselves in a hole, now they've just about managed ot dig themselves out of it. They should qualify from this group fairly easily now, but it's been a long road to get to this point. From then on, there's three games, then a streak of four: that's all they need to turn this sour patch into merely a rocky bit of the path to a fourth time of glory.

(from the ‘Sports’ section of ’The Bear Necessities’…)


WHY US?

Myedvedeya 5 – 3 Bears Armed.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not wishing ill on Myedvedeya: They’re one of the few other nations around in which Ursines are present and respected, after all, so I certainly don’t begrudge them the fact that they’ve just won a victory – their first one so far – in these qualifiers… But if they were only going to beat one nation during this entire contest then why, oh why, did that have to be us? The points from that win obviously wouldn’t have been enough to let Myedvedya go on into the actual ‘World Cup’ itself, but losing them might well be what costs our team its chance at qualification. The Belles will probably need to win all three of their own remaining games, now, and see Cafundeu’s team (which, remember, was ranked 5th in the whole international association before this tournament started…) lose at least one of its final trio, if they’re to continue in their challenge for the Cup beyond these qualifiers…

The Myedvedeyan ‘Grizzly Bears’ began the game aggressively, and their striker Vorotaev (#21) scored a goal only 7 minutes into play. Things settled down slightly after that, and possession was shared fairly evenly for almost half an hour, during which time the Belles achieved six ‘shots on goal’ -- all of which were successfully intercepted by Myedevedeyan goalie Bykovsky (#1) -- whilst the ‘Grizzly Bears’ only achieved four such shots in return… but then, in the game’s 36th minute, Vorotaev got one of his shots past our goalie Charra oBarrdenn (#1) to score for a second time. Marra SunDaughter led a fierce counter-attack after that, and scored a goal herself (from a long pass by ‘Honey’ SunBlessed) only six minutes later, but then — just as the first half’s 45th minute was about to end — the Myedvedeyan’s other striker, Rozhdestvensky (#25) — took a long shot that paid off and lobbed the ball right over Charra o Barrdenn’s head and into our net to make the half-time score 3-1!
Bob Smith made some important changes to the Belles’ line-up for the second half, replacing Charra o Barrdenn with Urra Thunder (#14) in goal and bringing Harroya ‘of the Rovers’ o Redwood (#32) on as Left Forward (and Acting Captain) in place of Marra SunDaughter at the latter’s own request. These alterations initially seemed to be making a significant difference, as the Belles held possession of the ball for most of the next twenty minutes and had four ‘shots on goal’ during that time to only two for the Myedvedeyans, and then in the game’s 68th minute o Redwood managed to take the ball most of the way from the edge of the Belles’ penalty area — where she’d obtained it by tackling Vorotaev — to the Myedvedeyan goal-line before launching it in such a powerful shot that although Bykovsky got his hand in the way he was unable to stop it… and so the score became 3-2, and the game looked winnable again for the Belles. However it was then only a few more minutes before Rozhdestvensky lobbed the ball right over Thunder’s head, for a fourth Myedvedeyan goal, and although o Redwood also scored a second goal herself not long after that she and her team-mates weren’t quite able to manage an equaliser. And so the goal with which Vorotaev completed his hat-trick, in the final seconds of stoppage time, wasn’t really “needed” for anything except his own pride…

A little bird tells me that Smith and SunDaughter have decided on a slightly more defensive style of play for the remaining three 'qualifier' games.


Goals
Myedvedeya = 5 (Vorotaev [7], Vorotaev [36], Rozhdestvensky [45], Rozhdestvensky [77], Vorotaev [94]).
(Possession = 57%; Shots on Goal = 13)

Bears Armed = 3 (SunDaughter [42], o Redwood [68], o Redwood [84])
(Possession = %; Shots on Goal = 13)

Injuries
Myedvedeya = Bykovsky (#1): right hand HURT.
Bears Armed: ---------

Cards
Myedvedeya = four yellow cards.
Bears Armed = five yellow cards.


(Full details inside, on page S-8.)


_________________________________________________________________

OOC: Please alter my 'style modifier' from +4.0 to +3.5 for the rest of the qualifying matches. Urra 'Honey' SunBlessed will play as 'Defensive Centre' rather than 'Midfield Centre', with her starting position approximately at the mid-point of an imaginary 'X' whose points are the two Midfielders and two Backs.

(NBC Chimes of Doom, followed by The Mission Pt. 4.)

This is a World Cup 44 Special Report. Here is David Howell.

Good afternoon everyone, or whatever time it is where you are, and we've just got word that the matches in this qualification phase will be delayed somewhat, by about an hour, maybe a little more, due to unexpected commitments; we are not certain of these reports yet, details are a bit sketchy.

OOC: I'm having to cover for a friend's 5-6pm slot on surgeradio.co.uk, so in the period I'd otherwise be handling scores I'll be spinning tunes instead. This is unless C&M, who wasn't meant to be scorinating today, does indeed scorinate today, in which case it's all as usual.

OOC update - cut-off will happen at 5pm UTC, C&M will scorinate.

http://i280.photobucket.com/albums/kk176/rennidan/Untitled-2.png

FOOTBALL SCANDAL OF UNBELEIVABLE PROPORTIONS
Seriously! What the hell?

After several weeks of poor football on Rennidan's side, something has slowly come to light that we all should have seen at the start of the World Cup. The usually youthful Rennidanian side have been considerably slower than usual, their speech far more garbled, and their cravings for brains had bolstered overnight. Not only that, but they were giving off an unusual amount of Debbyfar Protons, a common sign that inter-dimensional travel has been afoot. Yes, after a thorough undercover investigation, we here at Rennidan World News can safely declare that the entire Rennidan side has been kidnapped and replaced with a zombie doppelganger from another universe.

How about that, eh?

We hope our continuum will return to normality shortly after this edition of the World Cup has ended, with an extensive retcon promised by our ever present Emperor.

In fashion, cut-offs can mean either a Crop top shirt that exposes the midriff, or long pants that have been cut at the knee level (usually without a hem) to create shorts.

In the NS World Cup, th... Oh, let's just get on with it, shall we?


Scores, biatches! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14401969&postcount=16)

Player Profile: Matt Lynch

In Brief: Lynch starred for the Portland Timbers en route to the team's second and third Sarzonian Football Confederation championship trophies and was a key player behind the Stars second round appearance in the AOCAF XIX tournament. He attended Syracuse University in the old United States of America before landing a sports information position at the Timbers.

Injuries to the team's front line led Timbers coach Horace Sandt to give Lynch a tryout. Before he knew it, he donned a Timbers kit and appeared in a friendly against third division Sanibel F.C. He later drew a start in the third round of the Sarzonia Cup against Sporting Saugerties, scoring the team's only goal in a 1:0 victory. Sandt later signed Lynch to a player's contract and the rest is history.

Lynch is widely considered the funniest player on the Timbers squad. Stories of his drunken exploits playing Guitar Hero in the team's hotel are legendary. He also endeared himself to Timbers and Stars supporters by being a target forward who could score goals with his height and his speed. In spite of his lanky build, he can hold his own against more physical defenders.

Personal: Currently single. Celebrated his 30th birthday when fellow Stars forward Reese Nichols bought him a Rock Band set. Nichols played drums while Lynch took the guitar. Fellow forward Zack Wilson played bass. They composed a song called "Scoreless Draws Suck" after Sarzonia played to a 0:0 away draw in a beer bottle v. O Ale Ale.

The team hopes for a better result when they return to Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium to face Liventia. As for Lynch, win, lose or draw, he'll probably play a drunken set on Guitar Hero or Rock Band. The team knows it needs the result against Liventia. Their next, and final World Cup qualifying match is away to world No. 1 Valanora. The Stars played to a 2:2 draw at Marshall, and figure to get the best effort from Valanora.

http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/7993/dailyturkjo0.png
Syktykvar 2 – 3 Koseli Cumhuriyetler
Too Turkish Too Late
Another Turkish comeback occured as the Turks overturned a 2-0 deficit at half time with a Sinan Kose hat-trick and a stunning performance on the left wing by Serkan Turkmen.

Orhan made two mistakes in the 30th and 42nd minute as the hosts took a well earned lead into half time.

The Turks once again improved for the second half and Sinan pulled them back on the 75th minute, then leveled it on 88 and finished the game on 91 minutes with a sublime finish from the edge of the box.

The Turks already out are effectively playing for rank and pride, dented though it may be.

Purple Knights Trample Dariusville

Ah, now that was a soccer game. The Knights put up 3 goals on the Darisusvillien side. The Dairisuians never had a chance. Tad Montague helped out with a clean sheet and the Knights utterly outran, and passed the younger and less expirienced team from another land. Yes, tis sweet that we get this victory, and with two games left arguqble the hardest schedule of any team looking to qualify we are in third. But the next game is in Daehanjieguk, and then against West Zirconia in a must win for the spot.

The Knights won the game on 3 goals by star Striker and leading scorer in Taeshani history Brian Ying Uing. He scored these goals on two assist from Zeke Jr, and on from Jr's elder brother Hele. The Knights led by ageless Zeke, defeated the Dariusiens and are of to get ready to play Daehanjieguk in Pyeonyang. Home of the Taeshani owned company, Tae-Mart's, Pyeonyang Gukjie. Shall be fun.

To: Jennifer Vilardi, Newmanistan forward
From: Queen Alexandra Katherine Dallas of Jeruselem
Re: Excited to play in Jeruselem!

Hello Jennifer! I thought the email was from Jenny Sloan for moment. I know you've done good work for your nation, Empress as club as well as for yourself. We welcome the likes of your sister Shannon, Brian Rafferty, Corey Hennis, Bobby Foley and anyone else from the national team.

I got in contact with the Jeruselem FA (OK, more accurately my mother Dazza Dallas - the President) and the clubs have plenty of interest with your teammates and yourself. And the clubs have already put in their wish lists before we even asked them. Anyway, my Mum has put together a list from submissions. An official version is being sent to the Newmanistan FA for official processing. I'm not sending a copy of that to you due to it being about a zillion pages long. The nasty details like $$$ and benefits aren't listed here.

...

Tel Aviv Sharks
* Owned by the Dallas family
* Constantly in the top 3 of the Jeruselem Premier League
* Female dominated teams
* Best facilities for females in Jeruselem
* Very French team

BIDS for
Player(s): Jennifer Vilardi, Shannon Vilardi
Player(s): Bobby Foley

...

Jerusalem United
* Owned by Jewish business
* Constantly in the top 3 of the Jeruselem Premier League
* Former employer of Debbie and Dazza Dallas and me ...
* Richest club in Jeruselem (Sharks aren't far behind)

BIDS for
Player(s): Jennifer Vilardi, Shannon Vilardi
Player(s): Brian Rafferty

...

Beersheba United
* Multi-cultural club with a big mix of cultures
* Not a club of drunks like SN despite the name
* Politically correct place due to cultural policies

BIDS FOR
Player(s): Jennifer Vilardi, Shannon Vilardi
Player(s): Brian Rafferty
Player(s): Corey Hennis
Player(s): Bobby Foley

...

Christian Palestine
* Very Christian conversative club
* Must be Christian or become a Christian
* Must live by good morals
* Not the richest of clubs, modest pay and conditions overall

BIDS FOR
Player(s): Corey Hennis
Player(s): Bobby Foley

...

Syrian North
* It's full of Islamic people, mainly Arabs and Syrians.
* They hate Tel Aviv Sharks or any Jewish teams (and women)
* They don't pay a lot, warning.
* Only club with a mini Mosque inside the stadium
* Conservatives in morals generally

BIDS FOR
Player(s): Brian Rafferty
Player(s): Corey Hennis
Player(s): Bobby Foley

...

OK, there's other teams but most of them are poor and can't afford real football players.

Protest groups in Bostopia, let alone the Empire didn't normally last for long. This was an exception. A national sport had been mocked and humiliated by those in power – Governments can only go as far as the population lets them. Boundaries had been crossed, lines scribbled over, people's reasons for living humiliated.

Alan Sentor had gone too far, only problem was that he didn't know it.

The longest journey, it is said, begins with one footstep. A protest group had been formed. That was step one. The group, on a popular social networking site, started as small as you would expect, but the word of mouth was there. The aims of the group were to bring whoever was responsible for treading all over their sport to justice.

It was usual that groups such as these would be shut down, often with the highest authority. But not this time. There was sympathy.

There was squashed petunias.

It was a late night at Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium. The roads leading to the practice facility used by both the Woodstock Wild and the Sarzonian national team were clogged with a sudden snow squall that dumped 32 centimetres of snow.

Woodstock's Public Works Office crews were out in force clearing the main roads such as Interstate 17, which led to Marshall Stadium. However, the practice facility was on a back road known as Confederate Boulevard that all but the upper echelons in the PWO thought had closed down. That forced the national team to practice at the indoor bubble next to Marshall Stadium.

It was a far from ideal situation for the Stars. After all, the indoor bubble measured less than the 100 metres needed for a regulation sized football pitch. Thus, Manager Brian Wilson had to be somewhat creative as he designed drills for his side. As the training session finished, he noticed that assistant manager Chris Trautwig was absent.

That wasn't too much of a surprise. After all, Trautwig lived on a series of back roads that weren't connected to the stadium. Because of the wintry weather conditions, it could take hours for Trautwig to arrive at the stadium instead of the 35 minutes it usually took to drive from his home to the practice facility.

As Wilson walked toward his office, he heard the phone ring. He knew his secretary had called out because of the snow and because the Woodstock Public Schools System was closed for the day. He picked up the phone.

"Brian Wilson."

"Brian."

"Chris, where are you?"

"I'm resigning as assistant manager effective immediately," Trautwig said.

Wilson stopped short.

"What the hell, Chris?"

"I'm taking the open coaching job with the Rymerian Soccer Team?"

"Didn't they just fire their coach without telling him?"

"Uh, well, yeah."

"Chris, if they're going to do that to their coach, don't you think they're going to do that to you?"

"They've assured me that won't happen again."

"How much are they going to pay you?"

"Fifty thousand NS dollars."

"Fifty thousand? Chris, you were getting double that here. Why are you leaving an assistant's job where you were making more money for a coaching job for a shithead of a boss?"

"It's my opportunity to establish my own programme."

"Chris, there's something you're not telling me."

"No, I'm leaving, effective immediately. I've turned in all my keys, my security card, everything I need to. It's all on what used to be my desk. Good luck."

With that, Trautwig hung up the phone. Wilson suppressed an urge to slam the phone down in disgust. He thought for a moment, then picked up the phone and dialed a number he'd written down and hadn't used since qualification began.

"Atalanta Hilton, this is Tracy. Where may I direct your call?"

"Room ... uh, is it 313?"

"Whom are you looking for, sir?"

"I believe his last name is Hannan?"

"He just checked out, sir. Oh wait, I see him here now. Would you like me to get him for you?"

"Certainly."

"Hold on for a moment." The woman put on some music that sounded like Kellie Pickler in the background while Wilson waited. He felt something like his skin beginning to crawl since he hated country music. Then, blissfully, that ended.

"Hello?"

"Chris Hannan?"

"Y--yes."

"This is Brian Wilson of the Sarzonian national team."

"Brian! How are you?"

"Not bad, you?"

"Well, I've been better."

"Do you want an assistant manager's gig? It just opened up."

"Sure. How?"

"I'll explain later. Get on the first plane you can to Woodstock."

"I'll be there first thing tomorrow morning."

"I'd better warn you, we got hit with a blizzard last night. You may want to amend that for as soon as possible."

"You'll see me," Hannan said. "If I have to rent a tank, I'll be there."

"Thank you," Wilson said. When he hung up the phone, he smirked maniacally. Two could play that game.

Faye: What's wrong coach?
Count: Nothing, apart from my home team Myedvedeya being terrible.
Faye: What do you mean?
Count: They got eliminated, well they are actually dead last.

Faye: Oh? That's bad!
Count: That's OK, we're still in with a chance.
Faye: But we lost today.
Count: We lost to the best team in this group. Anyway 1-2 isn't bad against the best team.

Faye: But we have to play the drunks last.
Count: I know.
Faye: At least our Princesses qualified.
Count: Yes, Ryan your old coach is doing a good job.

Faye: He never coached us, we're a new team.
Count: But he's proving a good coach. You have to be good to coach Qazox and Jeruselem.
Faye: Are we good?
Count: You're not as bad as Myedvedeya.

Faye: We'll do our best.
Count: That's all one can really do.
Faye: We're just all kids really.
Count: You're not a bad lot of kids, football wise.

Gray: Hey coach!
Faye: It's pervert again.
Gray: You dropped something.
Count: Err, thanks Gray.

Faye: What is it?
Coach: Oh, just a golden bike pin.
Faye: Isn't that the one Dallas fans wear?
Count: Err, yes.

Faye: Look I got mine too.
Gray: I left mine at home. It's far too precious to lose.
Faye: when did you join?
Count: Oh, when I got this job. After I met the real Dazza ...

Gray: Never met her myself.
Count: I can arrange her to come to our game against the drunks.
Faye: Yeah?
Count: She is the Jeruselem FA President.

Faye: We need a motivational speech from her.
Count: I see what I can do.
Faye: Thanks coach.
Gray: I wish she was younger.

WHERE DID WE GO WRONG?

The big “E” next to Secristan’s record had become a foregone conclusion, and the Secristan Departmant of Sports has found themselves struggling to meet their pre-tournament expectations for the amount of pay-per-view purchases of the qualifying games and especially the average bid price per seat at the home games. This was not a nation that expected to qualify for the World Cup, but like everyone who enters these things, there was that aspiration that just maybe things could bounce our way as they are for Peisandros. What has Peisandros done that we haven’t? Or that we couldn’t? Some people might point to that country having a more active media then us, but that shouldn’t really have something to do with the play out there on the field. These Millionaires weren’t even close. We’re still sitting on two victories. Just two, one of them over Peisandros, and maybe the Millionaires can continue to serve as their spoiler when we meet up again. Something is wrong and something needs to be fixed before we attempt to qualify for World Cup 45 or possibly attempt to avenge all of this in the Cup of Harmony. The record could become more respectable if we were to finish out with two victories, but I don’t believe that anyone who has watched team for twelve games believes that will happen. We compiled this list of things that we felt went wrong and are in some way responsible for the team going a highly disappointing 2-5-5 in twelve of their games.

1) The Schedule- The schedule was never favorable for the Millionaires, let’s get this out of the way real quick. When a team plays seven home and seven road games in a qualifying session, starting them with six out of seven road matches, and not even playing at home until matchday six is something that should not happen. The hosts of this competition have done a terrific job, but we will be hoping that a future host is more cognizant of mixing up a teams home and road games a little better. This is a big deal because:

a) When rivals are having more home games early, in which they have a greater percentage to win, it affects the psyche of the players on a team that sees a hole forming on the table already because they had to start with all legs of matches against teams where their percentage of winning was lower.

b) A home loaded end of schedule affects attendance if the road first half did not go as well, which in this case it didn’t. Which therefore decreases profitability.
(OOC: This is just a journalist’s rant not a complaint about anything).

2) Terrible Opponents- No one on this schedule generated much excitement at all, that is until we found out that one opponent actually played on another planet. That was fun for a while, but when it was done it was done. The Green Wombat matches had some interest associated with them, but a boring top seed like Tynelia after having the excitement of a Jeruselem last time was much better. Fans want to see big name opponents, even if they will lose 6-nil to them. It beats seeing a boring Tynelia come to town and do their thing in a ho hum matter and then leave.

3) Lack of Goal Scoring- A lot of people would have put this number one on the list, but the defense played well enough to make up for a lot of it. James Rogan and Kevin Walker did not have the same kind of chemistry between them that we had seen in the Baptism of Fire last Cup and even in the qualifying. You won’t win if you don’t score. We had two scoreless draws, so all we needed was one goal, and we’d be 4-3-5 right now, and still of some semblance of a chance. Think about that.

4) Lack of Financial Motivation- With the sponsors not coming out as well as we would have liked, the players are not seeing much of a return on their investments and very few of them, if any, did anything of note in qualifying to get an international team to want to offer them a contract. It may also be a problem that some of our key players already have international contracts so they didn’t have much to really play for.

5) Lacrosse- Secristan’s eyes were on the World Lacrosse Championships. Therefore Secristan becomes as big of a disappointment in the World Cup as Kura-Pelland was in lacrosse. When the focus of your fans and media are on one thing, the other just is along for the ride. The schedule really hurt the Millionaires here too. Had the team had more home games to start the qualification, it would have been before lacrosse really got going, but which stadium is going to have more the average bid price per seat, a matchday 14 game between Secristan and Peisandros, or the big first round lacrosse match between us and those Cassadaigua chicks?

OLHO NO LANCE! - YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE
Partner of Globo Multimedia

WORLD CUP 44 QUALIFIERS – full coverage
Written by Sílvio Ruiz with comments by Breno Gavião [I mean, Cléber Foice] (from TV coverage)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SUPPORTERS RELIEVED WITH SOLID VICTORY

The victory in Abadia against Blouman Empire relieved the supporters a bit, but the pressure over the Monopolists still was pretty big, as the team’s results so far were far below from the expected by the fans, and because qualification for the World Cup was still seriously threatened – a thing that even the most pessimistic fans (and anti-Cafundelenses too) couldn’t expect. In another game at home, Cafundéu’s players entered to face the last placed team of the group: Myedvedeya. This was another mystery: how a team that seemed so promising last World Cup cycle could be now in the bottom of this group? Both of the countries were underperforming, but Cafundéu still had time to react, while Myedvedeya’s fate was already sealed. And, inside the Maracatuzão stadium in Dunboor, the game started, with the first touch in the ball being Alves’ shot which hit the referee’s nose.

The game had to be stopped after just eight seconds played. The referee’s nose started to bleed, and it took nearly five minutes to stop her bleeding. When the game was resumed, Alves returned to show the strength of his shot. He received the ball inside the area from Cícero and shot to score the first goal of the game – just few seconds after the clock marked one minute of game. This fast goal shocked the opponents, who lost their hopes. Everyone could notice that Myedvedeya’s players didn’t have much motivation. And this helped Cafundéu to score the second goal with Zé Sho, shooting after tacking the ball from Mizin. After scoring the second goal, the Monopolists stopped pressing the Myedvedeya defense, and this lead to a good period of reactions by the visitors. During injury time, Vorotaev, known in Cafundéu, headed after a corner to score a goal.

The result of 2x1 after the first half was positive for Cafundéu, but a dangerous one. It was clear that the Monopolists weren’t having an excellent game, and there was danger of losing the lead. David Nefasto, worried, made something that most Cafundelenses hate: retreated the team. More defensive, Cafundéu didn’t worry much in attacking, and focused on avoiding suffering goals. Myedvedeya didn’t have many goal chances, and after few moments it became clear that the defensive strategy wasn’t needed. But all the worries of the fans about a possible goal scored by the opponents ended when Titov received a crossing, controlled the ball, dribbled the goalkeeper and, when he was going to score, was hit by Bykovsky’s left shoe, thrown by the goalkeeper. Penalty. Augusto César took it and scored the last goal of the game.

CLÉBER FOICE’S MOMENT – THE LAST GOAL: “Ball with the goalkeeper Kardec, he stops the ball to prepare Cafundéu’s next play… wait, the ball is already in the midfield, he has already passed it… to whom? Stop the game, let me see who is with the ball… I got it, it is Renildo, he controls the ball in the left side of the field, approaches the opponent’s area, can cross or pass to Marossi… well, he has already crossed the ball to the area, Titov is with it… and he dribbled the goalkeeper… and fell? Why? Wait, it is a penalty? Why? It seems that he was hit by a shoe! The goalkeeper was sent off, the shoe was his. So Augusto César will take the penalty, shoots… goal! GOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! It is Augusto César who scored, three to one for Cafundéu! Chocolates Monteneve, classic, sweet, expensive… er, I mean, refined… and delicious chocolates!”

LANG’S INTERVIEWS/OTHER NEWS: I hope that the bad times have already passed. The team won two in a row, yes, but I won’t praise them until the qualification ends. As expected, the coach was happy with the result, and told the reporters: “Everything is getting straight, friends. The team had some bad results, but I really think that we have passed this storm. There are two games still to be played, and the team is focused to win those too.” Winger Renildo, considered the best player of the game, said: “I am satisfied with the result. Everyone is working hard to get the qualification, we can’t fail.” He left without saying anything more. About Breno Gavião, he had some problems during his recovery from the surgery, and will have to stay in the hospital. Yes, nearly a month has passed, but the doctors fear an infection, as the surgery cut didn’t heal fully.


CAFUNDÉU 3x1 MYEDVEDEYA

Place: Maracatuzão, Dunboor.
Attendance: 123,456 people (hmm... that seems strange).
Time: 18:00 Cafundelense time (18:00 local time, unless something really supernatural is happening).
Climate: cloudy, 17ºC.
Referee: Melissa Venis (Jeruselem).
Assistants: Paul Busset (Jeruselem) and Jerry Kostadesap (Capitalizt SLANI).
POTM: Renildo (Cafundéu).

CAFUNDÉU: Kardec; Cícero, Renildo, Titov and João Carlos; Silveira, Zé Sho (Jules 80'), Augusto César and Marossi (Fabinho 45'); Alves and Hubert (Nando 65').
Coach: David Nefasto.

MYEDVEDEYA: Bykovsky; Romasko, Ben Dayan, Mizin and Redhawk; Karbonenko, D'Ancona (Morozov 60'), Dolohov and Rostov; Vorotaev and Rozhdestvensky (Karpolsky 45' [Saitov 72']).

Goal:CAF: Alves 1' , Zé Sho 6' , Augusto César 73'.
MYE: Vorotaev 45'+.

The Meice Journal
All the news that fits, we print!
Vol. 174, No. 114 - 10 June 1766

Sports

World Cup qualification secured; will people watch now?
by Sadiques Dotsmens

While executives at BCN aren't likely to admit this fact openly, it cannot be denied that this has been perhaps the least-watched qualifying campaign in the history of Vephrall's national football team. In fact, it's been so bad that around the halfway mark of qualifying, the less-popular games were moved from the main BCN channel to BCN International. During the national team's most recent match against East Pocono, BCN was actually showing a university basketball game. Granted, as far as university basketball goes, an all-Isthmian Conference matchup (in this case, BTI hosting Eastern Darnai) is sure to be exciting, but that doesn't change the fact that basketball is at best the country's fourth most popular sport, and more likely fifth or sixth. And yet it was on the main network over the national football team?

"The fans have grown complacent," said a Vephraller Foutbiller Restritris official speaking on condition of anonymity. "They don't really bother watching qualifying much these days because it's pretty much a foregone conclusion that we're going through. Our team has advanced high enough to consistently be the top seed in its qualifying group, and while there remain a few teams that can challenge us when we play them, there's just not enough strength below us to put us in serious consideration of not qualifying. There's really not much need to worry; they'll be back once qualifying wraps up."

http://www.prism.gatech.edu/~gth681k/ns/vephrall/bcn-wc44-mdq12.jpg
BCN International coverage of the match

As for the match itself, which took place in Vephrall against unheralded East Pocono, a single 25th-minute goal from Rictavos Hahnea was really the only significant highlight of the game, and the only goal that the White and Gold needed in order to get the win and officially wrap up qualification. Vephrall needed at least three points from its final three matches to be assured of a World Cup berth, and took the simplest route by picking up all three here.

BCN officials chose not to comment about qualifying viewership, but did indicate that all of Vephrall's matches in the World Cup proper would return to its main channel. This is the first World Cup qualifying campaign to be broadcast by BCN; prior to World Cup 44, Tociast held the rights to the team.

Dancougar News!!
Why do we need Saji fanservice in the second opening?!

Backups prove their mettle at home: Dancougar ran its win streak to four last night in the National Stadium, as a team consisting mainly of domestic players ran up a comfortable lead en route to a 3-1 victory over Akbarabad, dealing a blow to their opponents' chances of surprise World Cup qualification. They need two straight wins and a lot of help, now, and it may be too much to ask of the would-be giant slayers who have nevertheless played some impressive football down the stretch.

The last time we saw some of these players was in Akbarabad, so there was already some affinity for the side. Paul Dinsmoor was scoreless in that game, although Al McNespy hooked up with Alexei Voronzoff for one. Making a rare appearance was Akira Morisue, the Lakeport midfielder who will want to make an impression not only to possibly steal a roster spot on Solomon Bilbao's final side, but also to build some momentum going back to his club team, which expects to be much improved due to some transfers from Newmanistan. Another player we hadn't seen much of, aside from workouts, was defender Yuuta Raikatuji, a Port Royal man who most think benefits from their system rather than being outstanding on his own. Now was a chance to prove them wrong.

Benjamin Whittaker was also in the starting eleven, and by seeing him at this stage, we can only suspect that his spot is also on the line. He wasn't in the starting lineup when the tournament began and has no goals in his appearances. For a man who's tied for fifth all-time with 19 international goals, it is a bitter pill to swallow. He tried to set the tone early with a long run down the right side, but he fired an ugly cross at goal that crossed the goal line before it had even reached the box. No surprise, then, that most attacks were to develop from McNespy's side of the field.

Akbarabad looked good in the opening fifteen minutes, with Samin Akbar testing Luke Brengle in the 12th minute with a stinging shot that forced Raikatuji to clear the loose ball out of the box. Brengle's dropsies continued in the 25th when Akbar once again popped up in the box with a glancing header of a Mossadeq Chowdhury shot. He reached back with his left hand and tipped it off the bar, leaving Stanley Carter to clean up the mess. The Wings were able to get a few chances, too, through Voronzoff and Dinsmoor. Both saw shots go just wide of goal, but one had to think that one was bound to get on the scoreline if the Wings got a little more possession.

In the 35th, the Wings got the breakthrough. It would fall to the other starting forward, Grandborough FC's Dustin Garbett. Grandborough broke into the top four of the D-League with "Sloan Rule" midfielders Stephen Alexander of Secristan and Wesley Teahen of Qazox, but has also gotten solid contributions from its domestics, including defender Carter. They're one of the two or three teams to so masterfully use the rule which allows up to two players per team to be signed outside of the salary cap, and now, Garbett was able to join them in the international conversation with a solo run at goal, a quick juke to beat a defender, and then a hard shot to the 'keeper's right.

"I think the key was to take that lead into halftime, since that took a lot of pressure off of us and helped get the fans into the game," said Garbett. "It gave us a lot of energy coming out of the locker room." Indeed, within five minutes of the restart, Voronzoff had found the back of the net. This time he was set up by Morisue, who chipped a pass over Adil Rahman which Voronzoff ran on and sent across his body at goal. Aminul Islam, whose form is one of the major reasons Akbarabad found itself in the qualification conversation, saw the danger late and was in a bad position to defend the effort. Voronzoff's fourth goal of qualifying made it 2-0.

But Akbarabad didn't get to where they were without playing some good football. While they had been shut out at home by the Wings in the first meeting, the team had a little more swagger now and were not going to settle for being Bilbao's punching bag for the newbies. Kabir, who so nearly scored off a free kick in the first leg, pulled one back in the 66th. Akbarabad were able to weather an offensive surge by the Wings and open up the midfield a bit, leading to a long run by Kabir which ended with a give-and-go with Akbar.

"They didn't give up," said Bilbao. "That's what separates the good teams from the average teams. Their record may not be great, but they knew they were capable of getting a result. And that's all that matters on game day; you put the other stuff behind you."

Now the Wings had to defend, and Brad Leeds came on for Milan van der Horst to give the team more mobility in the middle. This forced Akbarabad outside, but their crosses just weren't there. The ailing Whittaker came out soon after the goal in favor of Anthony Ingram, a Cafundeu-based player who's with Hideo Ikeda's old club, America. Ingram added a little something to the midfield and gave the Wings a more reliable attacking option on the right side, and as the minutes ticked away, it was the substitute to put the game on ice. Ingram took it into the corner, dropped it off to Raikatuji, and made an inside run. He received the ball back, skipped over a tackle, and curled the ball past Islam to complete the 3-1 win.

The Wings will be without manager Bilbao for the next two matches, as he will be attending a Dancougar Sports Ministry coaching seminar held in Baltimore. During that time, the Dancougar News!! will attempt to follow the team with its esteemed abridged edition.

Group six day in review: On a day when challengers Akbarabad stumbled, Kelssek had a chance to wrap up the third and final spot with a win over Rennidan. But the Eagles kept their slim chances a live with a 2-2 draw and, with Akbarabad, sit five points back of third place. Colbourne and St Samuel battled to a 1-1 draw in the battle of eliminated teams, but the other eliminated team, Operata, sprung a surprise against the leaders. Qazox are perfect no more, upset 1-0 by the upstarts at home!

Team to tackle the undead: Transdimensional zombie doppelgangers! We thought the boys from Prux had a monopoly on those, but it seems that this cup has been a bad one for the undead. Not only are Prux in danger of missing out, but the Rennidan Eagles are in the same perilous position. The regular team has disappeared; to where, we know not. All that we know is that the Drunn Deleks who scored in the first leg was actually a well-adjusted zombie Drunn Deleks, but the constant string of bad form has led the team to deteriorate into a more noticeable morass of flesh-craving flesh. Rumors that Solomon Bilbao will take the 67A to Monroeville Mall to sacrifice rubber chickens for the team are false.

He will, however, start goalkeeper Alexander Silberstein for the first time. Regular starters Musashi Yamada and Alexei Voronzoff are the headliners in the starting eleven, while Anthony Ingram seems to have earned a start. Karen Stadler will return at forward, and midfielder Shigekazu Hayashi looks to get a rare shot to prove his mettle.

STARTING XI: Silberstein; Cecilia, Samrov, Yamada, Leeds; McNespy, Hayashi, Voronzoff, Ingram; Garbett, Stadler
SUBSTITUTES: Brengle; Raikatuji, van der Horst; Klingensmith, Morisue; Dinsmoor, Dennin

McAllister bound for Lakeport: There's been a minor scramble for Newmanistan's national team to get into club football overseas. Although the Empress' announcement seems to have only roused the team to action - they now sit third in their group with two games to play - the nation's best players are using the late qualifying surge as an audition for the rest of the world's clubs, and checkbooks are starting to pop open.

Jeremy McAllister, though, knew that he wanted to be in Dancougar, and approached the league looking for work. McAllister's been a stalwart for both Putnam Lake and the Newmanistan national team, and has been likened by our media to Dan Potts for being an accomplished striker despite never leaving home. He's leaving now, and will lace up for Sporting Lakeport for the second half of the Apertura.

In a statement released to the press, the 33-year-old stated his reasons for the move: "I have drawn a respect not just for your league but for the country and I have decided that this would be a nice place to finish out my career." Despite arriving on a free transfer, McAllister was expected to land Sloan Rule money, with Yuki City Athletic emerging as the front-runners with a $6 million per year offer. But McAllister had other ideas.

Sporting Lakeport have been mired in the middle of the table and figured to be on the way up with the purchase of Newmanistan defender Scott LaFave and the development of midfieler Akira Morisue. Analysts said they needed a forward... and now they've got one. "I have gotten offers from clubs with bigger reputations, but Sporting Lakeport has that Putnam Lake feel to me," said McAllister. "Granted, I am not 18 anymore as I was when I joined Putnam Lake, but I really would like to take on this challenge of helping your club rise up the table."

Although the initial response by Lakeport fans has been largely positive, there are some, notably local columnist Jay Adonis, who aren't impressed by the signing. "Why are we throwing big money at someone from whom we're only going to get two or three years of play?" he wrote in his Lakeport Times column. "Along with Chris Kusler at Port Royal, this signing will be judged harshly if success isn't immediate."

===========================================

Earlier...

Stephen walked into the central chamber with his head held high, briefcase in hand. Before him sat the emperor of the demon realm, Boldozaa, and beside him his henchmen, General Gaizok. The demon lord leaned forward as the man entered. "I wasn't expecting to see YOU here," he said.

"You should be thankful," Stephen replied. "My friend, the colonel, was planning to betray you."

"What's that?" asked Boldozaa. The cave rumbled as there was a massive explosion overhead. Small rocks and dust fell from the ceiling, but the cave remained intact.

"You see, he actually learned the ancient spell needed to reseal you," Stephen explained. He opened the suitcase to reveal the crystal orbs. They shimmered in the fiery light, and the lesser demons nearby evaporated as soon as they saw it. Boldozaa threw his hand up to block the light, but eventually adjusted. "He was going to do it, had I not figured out his plan."

"Although I must admit, that human wasn't lying when he told me about those crystals," Boldozaa choked. "I feel weaker just being near them." He rose from his seat and took a step towards Stephen. "But you've made a wise choice by joining my side," he said. "Once I destroy these, nothing will stand between me and a full awakening."

Stephen smiled and clapped his hands together. The orbs glowed more brightly, halting Boldozaa's advance and pinning Gaizok to the wall. "Now, now, I never said I wasn't planning the same thing," he grinned, as he chanted the ancient rite.

"Y-y-ou bastard!!" screamed Boldozaa. "I even had Kravshera sacrifice himself to destroy the iron beast machines!"

"And for that, I'm grateful," replied Stephen as he finished the spell. Boldozaa began to turn into stone and Gaizok did the same. "But really, you thought you could put faith in men? You should've trusted your instincts." With that, he turned and left the chamber, his work complete.

**********

Well, almost. Now the army above him had to finish the mountain. The way he'd timed it, there should still be one commando team which hadn't pulled out. Sure enough, as soon as he surfaced, there was one jeep left. The explosion of the titan had destroyed most of the forest and probably took out a few jeeps and his men, but most of the energy of the explosion was focused on the Dancougar and had dissipated outward. There were two soldiers by the jeep, and they saw him approach.

"Sir, I'm glad you're okay!" saluted one. "But where's the co-" He didn't finish. Stephen had fired a single shot through his head, killing him instantly.

The other drew his gun but was hit in the shoulder by Stephen's cold aim, sending him sprawling backward. He reached for the radio but Stephen stomped on his hand. The soldier cried out and Stephen held the gun to the back of his head. "If you want to live, you'll do as I say," he growled.

The soldier was sweating profusely as Stephen handed him a radio mic. "Tell them the colonel is dead, but the enemy can be destroyed with Mjollnir," he ordered. The soldier balked, so Stephen cocked the gun. "Do it!" he shouted.

The soldier, panicked, opened the channel. "Captain, we've confirmed the enemy command can be destroyed conventionally! They got the Colonel, but then we... the charges won't detonate, we're... drop Mjollnir!" Stephen watched the planes overhead start to form up. "You have to, or else..." He pushed the gun into back of the man's neck. "Hey, you said you wouldn't k..." Stephen ripped the mic out of the radio as he fired. Then, with the roar of plane engines filling the air, Stephen jumped into the jeep and started it up. Mjollnir would bury the evidence.

As he drove away, he heard the first explosions and smiled. He'd pulled it off. He looked back to the mountain and saw the Dancougar's carcass getting dragged from the battlefield by a few Lancers. Oh well, he thought. You can't win them all. In that shape, they won't be able to move for weeks, anyway. That's plenty of time!

**********

The sun was setting over the battlefield, and Tetsuya kicked the burned hull of the Dancougar with irritation. "Damn. We won, too. And I feel like this!" He kicked it again. The four pilots had been fished out of the damaged machine and were on their way back in a jeep. They were escorted by the Lancers and Rhinemaidens, who were hovering nearby in GUARDIAN mode.

"But we won," Daniel sighed. "And that's all that's important." Jun was leaning against him in the back of the jeep, completely exhausted. "We can finally rest now. Everyone can."

"Hey, your highness..." Jun murmured, half asleep.

"It's just Daniel," he said. "What is it?"

"I was going to say... that I..." She didn't budge, or finish. Daniel listened as promised, and then leaned over to get closer. She was fast asleep.

Daniel sighed and let her remain on his shoulder. "It can wait for later," he said.

In his Rhinemaiden, Peter kicked back and removed his helmet. "God damn, it's about time they bit it," he said. "We're missing the damn qualifiers. You know we're third in the world now?"

"What, the Black Wings?" asked Russ in surprise. "I've been so caught up in this side story, I didn't..."

"We finished third fricken' place, man!" Peter replied. "We need to get some chickens!"

"Cut the chatter, Freya Team!" barked Erica. The two of them laughed as they flew off into the dark eastern sky, the sun behind them. Erica chuckled to herself, as well. Chase, we can live happily again, she thought. We did it. Now, I can be strong the way you wanted me to be. So I can be worthy to call you senpai...

To be concluded, god willing, in WC44...

World Cup 44 Qualification - Group 2
MD1: 2-0 vs [42] West Zirconia (@ Munhwa Football Stadium - 65,000, Hanseong)
MD2: 0-2 @ [???] Sarzonia (@ Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium - 88,920, Woodstock)
MD3: 5-0 vs [76] Dariusville (@ Potala Palace - 34,000, Lasa)
MD4: 2-0 @ [54] Liventia (@ Colonial Stadium, Orean)
MD5: 2-0 vs [1] Valanora (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium - 200,000, Hangyeong)
MD6: 1-0 @ [34] Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colosseum - 599,000, Atlantea)
MD7: 3-0 vs [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium - 80,000, Gwangju)
MQ: 1-4 @ Sorthern Northland (@ somewhere new and special, but I haven't a clue...)
MD8: @ 4-0 [42] West Zirconia (@ Manchester Street - 85,000, Moorcroft)
MD9: 2-0 vs [???] Sarzonia (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium - 50,000, Daebo)
MD10: 3-0 @ [76] Dariusville (@ Humphra Ignhorium - 2,000, some forest in Dariusville)
MD11: 3-1 vs [54] Liventia (@ Silk Road Stadium - 56,000, Seoan)
MD12: 5-1 @ [1] Valanora (@ Hatire Memorial - 60,000, Capri)
MD13: vs [34] Taeshan (@ Tae-majt Park - 69,000, Pyeongyang)
MD14: @ [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ hopefully not in a beer bottle)



MBC World Cup Special Report
http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t156/daehanjeiguk/news.png

OUCH!

CAPRI - It's official; Ioshido got a big sack after getting a 5-1 loss in Valanora. I mean that literally. A fan tossed a sack of potatoes at the coach as he was returning to the lockers after the match; the fan was reportedly seized by Vanorian police for disturbing the peace. As to whether the Empire is going to be pressing for extradition a citizen (if he is a citizen... more than likely yes...), that remains to be seen. Anyway, as per his usual custom, Ioshido Toki refused to release a statement; so in his stead, Song Jongguk came out to meet the press, on behalf of the team. What followed was a loosely stated apology and asserted defense of the team:

"We read the papers; we know people don't like him; we know people don't like us. But we're out here to win games, and Ioshido knows how to do that. I speak for the team when I say that our fans shouldn't greet us with a sack of potatoes. We might deserve it at times, but as much as the team fights on that field for the fans, we're out there for ourselves too. If we get potatoes from everyone... football doesn't seem so glamorous anymore. We need the fans; we play for the fans. Please, if you're going to toss us potatoes, please cook and fry them too."

And potatoes they got; from the fans, and more importantly from the Vanorians. 5 of them to be precise. Kim Jongguk was stuck in goal for his worst performance yet. Yes, he can't held to blame for all of the goals, but after a while, you kinda hope that he doesn't handle the hot potatoes by dropping them in goal. After all, a goalkeeper keeps the balls out of the goal, and if you can't trust your vested goalkeeper to keep out balls from the goal, then perhaps it's time for a change. Yes, he got 8 clean sheets this season; yes, he's got one of the best goalkeeping records in WC44Q; yes, he does have his slips. But still, if someone out there is better than Kim Jongguk, we should be looking for him, not saying, "well, he's the best we've got, so suck it in." Of course, I don't personally encourage chucking potatoes at your team either.

On another note, thank goodness no one chucked our a sword and cut off someone's head like some folk...

The Cow Jumped Over the Moon

In an effort to make ourselves feel better, we've decided to create a MadLibs edition article. If you can't understand a single statement in this article, that's okay, because you won't. And if you do, then you need to see a doctor.

The cow jumped over the moon one day and found a diamond yacht sitting on my pumpernickel granola bar. It mooed. Just then, a frog croaked and slept over the organ pipes to buy a new toboggan, free of flies. The frog knocked on the window and destroyed an inquiry: "Who farted on the airplane that sank the moon?" The cow mooed. The frog pulled out a bazooka and sang a dirge, whistling a blue cheese. "I need a fork to save my noodles!" the frog yelled with great rambunctiousness. The cow simply mooed.

Meanwhile, Chuchu woke up and grunted Ave Maria to his pet wood. He puckered as he kissed a lemon ten times, before breaking his fire alarm. The frog laughed and asked Chuchu, "Have you dropped my pants in the piano?" Chuchu mooed. The cow mooed too. The frog looked at the toboggan and whacked a random passer-by riding a tootsie roll. The frog was very unsettled. "Will anyone please stop making tootsie rolls? I hate verifying fried chicken!" Just then, Chuchu jumped and vomited behind the moon, so the frog pushed Jerry Lewis down the hill to dance an omelet. Chuchu mooed. The cow mooed too. The pumpernickel granola bar also mooed. The frog was dead of excessive moderation, so Chuchu joked about the Bulgars. "Moo," Chuchu spoke with intense indigestion. The cow agreed and sat on the pumpernickel granola bar, which mooed. The frog, happy to cook this vile of dangerous chemicals, ran into a brick wall and dropped pots and pans on a random passer-by riding on a tootsie roll.

"Why do French fries open pickle jars with bookmarks?" the frog said with green teeth. You could really lick that the frog was writing with green teeth. The cow still mooed, as did the pumpernickl granola bar. But Chuchu saw that the frog was very sensual. "I'm anchored that you're not feeling Danish apple pie. Maybe if Mother Goose killed the Three Musketeers with some petunias, then we wouldn't be so slippery." The frog was kickerdoodle: "You shave often cutely!" the frog laughed with probable violence. At that, the frog kicked a flute and sawed the flower pot with a spoon. The cow mooed, as did the pumpernickel granola bar. "This is resting hippy," Chuchu brushed. Just then, a random passer-by riding on a tootsie roll came to the frog and detonated a n00k! with his bare hands. The frog didn't mark when he would lick such a wiener. The cow then said, "Maybe it's because you jumped over the moon."

After that, the frog drove a Mustang GT and farted loudly to everyone.

MORAL OF THE STORY: If a fly runs north, don't bother a vicious wicker basket.

QSPN.COM Breaking News

OPERATA UPSETS QAZOX 1-0.....

From Caixa Dois...
Qazox might want to use the starters the next couple of games to avoid a big slump going into the World Cup. Operata scored the onyl goal of the match in the 16th minute off the foot of Bento Sé beating Qazox' third keeper Michelle Opal.

The loss drops Qazox from the ranks of the unbeaten, leaving only Demot and the acursed Bostopians as the only unbeaten teams this qualifying cycle. Now Qazox' lead is only 1 point over Dancougar with just 2 matches left.

Raul de Olivares had this to say after the match:
While we're dissapointed in the loss, the main thing to remember is to stay health going into the World Cup in July. While my plan to rest the starters for the 3 games before the rematch with Dancougar, backfired today against a team that came to play; the reserves will start again against Colburne.

The New Bruxen Casino has Qazox at only 5:3 favorites, and the over/under is 2.5 goals. In other Qualifying news, welcome Jeruselem, Vephrall, Krytenia, Septentrionia, The Holy Empire and Yafor 2 to the World Cup. With 19 teams now assured of a berth, the final two matches for many teams will determine if they get to the World Cup or have to go to the Cup of Harmony.

The Zito Zip

3-0 blasting of aliens,
keeps microscopic hopes alive.
Wombats need to win both
of the final two matches,
against Lovisa and Peisandros.
The two teams ahead of
the Wombats by 6 points.
No more draws or losses,
or else Cup of Harmony
for the Wombats.

Schedule:
MD1: Secristan D 1-1 (0-1-0)
MD2: Terreiro de Ogum W 1-0 (1-1-0)
MD3: @ Euro Federations L 1-2 (1-1-1)
MD4: Tynelia D 1-1 (1-2-1)
MD5: @ Rymeria D 2-2 (1-3-1)
MD6: Peisandros L 0-1 (1-3-2)
MD7: @ Lovisa D 1-1 (1-4-2)
MD8: @ Secristan W 1-0 (2-4-2)
MD9: @ Terreiro de Ogum D 1-1 (2-5-2)
MD10: Euro Federations W 4-1 (3-5-2)
MD11: @ Tynelia L 1-2 (3-5-3)
MD12: Rymeria W 3-0 (4-5-3)
MD13: @ Peisandros
MD14: Lovisa

Pruxton Globe

4 points behind with 2 games to go, and still 5 teams with at least a mathmatical possibility of qualifying. We had some scientist (like those guys know anything) crunch the numbers for us and here are the odds for each of the remaining 5 teams to qualify:

Please note that the combined% is over 100%, as the scientists did not include tiebreakers as part of their calculations.


Blouman Empire- 40% Games left: (vs Prux and @ Yafor 2)
Max: 27pts, min: 21pts, avg: 25pts.

Cafundéu- 55% Games left: (@ Iseerussiafrommyhouse and vs Brightonburg)
Max: 27pts, min: 21pts, avg: 25pts.

Bears Armed- 13% Games left: (@ Brightonburg and vs Iseerussiafrommyhouse)
Max: 25pts, min: 19pts, avg: 20pts.

Prux- 23% Games left: (@ Blouman Empire and vs. )
Max: 23pts, min: 17pts, avg: 20pts.

IseeRussiafrommyhouse- 7% Games left: (vs. Cafundeu and @ Bears Armed)
Max: 22pts, min: 16pts, avg: 16pts.


As you can see, Prux has the 3rd toughest schedule remaining of the 5 teams (toughest: IseeRussiafrommyhouse; easiest: Cafundeu). Most predictions see the Zombies winning against Myedvedeya, but drawing against Blouman Empire, which would eliminate them. But the Zombies have been here before. They've qualifyied for the last 2 Cups and both times qualified on the final day, so whose to say they can't do it a 3rd time.

The best senario for the Zombies is a win over the Blouman Empire, a Cafundeu draw to IseeRussiafrommyhouse and a Bears Armed draw with Brightonburg. If that happens, Cafundeu is in 2nd with 22pts, Blouman Empire 3rd with 20, Prux and Bears Armed with 19, tied for 4th. iseeRussiafrommyhouse would be eliminated at this point.
Then on the final day, Prux defeats Myedvedeya, and either the Blouman Empire or Cafundeu draw and Iseerussiafrommyhouse knocks off Bears Armed (or draws them) If those things happen, Prux gets in as 3rd place, (maybe 2nd if both Cafundeu and the Blouman Empire both lose on the last day)

The schedule is this: (along with our Predictions for the Zombies)
Game 1: @ Yafor 2 LOST 0-2
Game 2: vs. Cafundeu LOST 1-2
Game 3: vs. Bears Armed WIN 3-2
Game 4: vs. LOST 1-2
Game 5: @ Brightonburg Draw 1-1
Game 6: vs. The Blouman Empire Draw 2-2
Game 7: @ Myedvedeya WIN 4-1
Game 8: vs. Yafor 2 LOST 0-3
Game 9: @ Cafundeu WIN 2-1
Game 10: @ Bears Armed LOST 2-4
Game 11: @ Iseerussiafrommyhouse WIN 2-0
Game 12: vs. Brightonburg WIN 3-2
Game 13: @ The Blouman Empire (Loss 1-2)
Game 14: vs. Myedvedeya (Win 2-1)

PREDICTED RECORD: 7-3-4 24pts 3rd in Group.
ACTUAL RECORD: 5-2-5 17pts; 5th in group.

THE ROCKET REPORT

CARDIAC ROCKETS HANGING TOUGH

Nethertopia- With things looking very bleak at the midway point of qualifying, suddenly these Rockets have come to life and could very well be on the verge of qualifying for the World Cup. Well, maybe it wasn’t so “suddenly”. We all know what happened, so we don’t have to go all into it again. Here they are with the strong possibility that a win in their next game will mean qualification after defeating Nethertopia by the score of 3-1. They got quite a bit of help from the Holy Empire, which defeated Milchama 3-0. Milchama’s worst nightmare by just be not qualifying for the World Cup, if we have something to say about. At present, Newmanistan and Milchama are tied for third with twenty points, and the goal differential between the two is the same. Since the previous result was a draw, the winner of the match probably qualifies. We have to say probably here, because with 18 points, Miroxia is still in the picture if they win twice, and if they did, one of those would be against us. Plus they will be playing Septentrionia on the road while we are taking on Milchama, so we don’t really see Miroxia getting that third spot, but crazier things have happened. Nethertopia is eliminated if there is a winner in the game between us and Milchama. A draw between the Rockets and Warriors sets up scenarios which we will get into if we need to after that game.

In theory, it’s simple. Beat Milchama. In practice, well it’s going to be a whole lot more difficult. Beating Milchama is something that Newmanistanian teams have not really done. In football, Newmanistan is 0-1-4 lifetime against the Warriors with three of those losses seeing the Warriors getting at least six goals. Albeit two were when we were a debutant on the scene and they were ranked second in the world. One of those losses was the Oxen Cup 6 final. That draw? Well, that was earlier in qualifying in Milchama, so the Rockets will be going into that match with a lot of confidence. You could even go outside of football and look at the World Baseball Classic 8 semifinals, in which the Warriors, on Newmanistanian turf, eliminated Newmanistan. Then there’s this: Newmanistan still has never beaten the top seed in the group in World Cup Qualifying. Ever!! In fact, the draw they managed was the first time they even got a point. Eventually, that zero in 0-1-8 against top seeds will change, and admittedly, this would be a nice time for it to happen. Adding more spice, is the location of the game. Pocono City Stadium. Right in the Empress’ backyard. Wouldn’t it be sweetest revenge for Brian Carson and the team to (probably) qualify for the World Cup on the Empress’ Pocono City turf. If this were a movie script, Newmanistan would win. Unfortunately, this is the real world and they will have to earn it. A loss will eliminate the loser as the best they could do is come back and tie the winner on the final matchday, but the winner would have H2H tiebreaker advantage. The only reason why the winner doesn’t officially qualify is because Miroxia is hanging on by a thread here. A draw? Well, that’s complicated and we’ll deal with it if we need to like we said before.

To get themselves in this situation, the Rockets needed to avenge their earlier loss against Nethertopia, and they would do that emphatically. We’ve mentioned several times about how the Rockets just seem to be more comfortable right now playing on the road so they don’t have to deal with everything that is going on at home. They have Samseong behind them, and many are beginning to sign on now to international teams. For three players, the game in Nethertopia came at a perfect time for their announcement of signing with Nethertopian clubs. The big name going to Nethertopia is Brett Carlson, the former Pocono City striker who is heading to Tenderville United. This team officially plays in Candelaria And Marquez if you aren’t up on your Rushmore football. They already had a strong attack with likes of Deleks and Ferguson up front, and adding Carlson to the mix is going to make that front line very deadly, for sure. On their way to NAPPC is another young striker, Kevin Taylor, who hasn’t quite made a name for himself on the national team yet, but that is probably just a matter of time as well as defensive midfielder Dirk Brogan. Following the game, Carlson actually had lunch with a couple Tenderville executives. Also official is Jeremy McAllister’s move to Sporting Lakeport of Dancougar where he will be a teammate of defender Scott LaFave, who had already been there. Other announcements such as a trio with players going to West Zirconia are on the verge of being made official, as is some movement to Jeruselem, but we are not quite ready to announce all that yet.

Let’s get to the game now, shall we? The Rockets caught a break very early in this match on a very sloppy pass from Jerome de Wit, intended for Frans Oud. The only explanation we have for this pass is that de Wit somehow was not aware of where Dale Stevens was on the play, but it was a very easy interception by Stevens, and with Jeremy McAllister wide open with room to run, de Wit was in trouble. Stevens made a perfect to pass to J-Mac, and because of de Wit’s location on the field, the play was onsides. From there, it was pretty easy for McAllister who took the ball and ran with it before taking his preferred shot, which is usually not good news for a goalkeeper. There was nothing Wouter van Dalen could do to stop J-Mac’s 102nd career goal, and in just the 3rd minute, Newmanistan was up, 1-nil. The match settled down after this as the Rockets generally played a conservative style and defended Nethertopian rushes with success, happy to just let minutes tick away. In the 19th minute, it appeared as Nethertopia would have a great chance, but an aggressive play by Jeremy Brooker to intercept a pass when the Nethertopians already had numbers going their way proved to be successful. A long ball then by Brooker allowed Newmanistan to have a quick counter attack, but it would amount to nothing. About ten minutes later, Ben van Dam looked to have a good scoring chance, but again great work in the backfield, this time by Kevin Haynes, kept Kusler from having to face a real difficult chance. The one goal lead was holding up, and most imagined that this is where we would be heading into the locker room. Until the 45th minute when the newest member of Tenderville United, Brett Carlson put a couple of impressive individual moves on the defense before taking a shot. Perhaps, van Dalen should have at least been able to knock the shot over the bar, but he seemed a fraction of a second too slow, and the ball beat him for a 2-0 lead. Hello Tenderville! Get ready for that!

Brian Carson knew at halftime that his team just delivered a major blow right there as the half ended. They were looking so strong defensively when it was a one goal lead, but now the home team would be in their locker room feeling the pressure of needing to get two goals just to tie. Spirits were high for the Rockets not just because of the lead, but now they were beginning to wonder if they could do something much greater. Not just qualify for the World Cup. That’s a big deal, but more then that. The simple symbolic nature of defeating the Empress and making her look like a fool for giving up hope on this team. That’s what they were playing for now.

The start to the second half saw Nethertopia begin to get much more aggressive. They had to be, down by two goals and knowing that a loss in this game would all but officially eliminate them from qualifying for the World Cup. The manager, simply known as the Scout, had some strong words for his team, and it began to pay off. Now, Kusler was being tested more instead of having the security of his defenders coming up with big plays in front of him. But Chris was up for this, and let Erik Visser learn that quickly. Visser, who knows how to score with great frequency knew that he needed to be the one, but his shots were denied each time. Kusler seemed to have good reads on him each time, making saves in the 50th, 53rd, and 58th minutes off the star shooter to maintain the clean sheet. With Visser getting stoned, Ben van Dam and Dries Pannekoek tried to pick up their game, and van Dan had a particularly good chance in the 63rd that was stopped. Sensing his team needed a spark, Brian Carson put out 39-year old enforcer Brett Prescott to try and swing some momentum back. This didn’t have an immediate result, and in the 67th minute, Nethertopia had closed the gap to 2-1 as Visser finally solved the Kusler puzzle. Carson made a somewhat unusual substitution after that in taking out Alex Parnett in favor of Chris Johnston as the Rockets looked to focus on defense. By the 75th minute, Newmanistan had gotten the game back under control again, and got some good chances on van Dalen that would be stopped. After surviving another Nethertopia rush, the clincher found the back of the net in the 83rd minute. Jennifer Vilardi nicely set up Jeremy McAllister in the box for a header which J-Mac can still do as good as anyone. Goal #103, and the two-goal lead was restored, and Nethertopia demoralized. They would continue to fight, but mostly everyone watching were aware that this game had been decided.

So it’s a 3-1 win, and Newmanistan can get ready to take on Milchama in what will be a very interesting game.

World Cup Qualifying Schedule
MD1: Greal VS Chutnusak (1-0)
MD2: Greal VS Idanno (2-3)
MD3: Greal VS Urna Eletrônica (3-1)
MD4: Greal VS Jaseuyeon (0-2)
MD5: Greal VS Draistania (1-0)
MD6: Greal VS Jeruselem (0-2)
MD7: Greal VS Starblaydia (0-2)
MD8: Greal VS Chutnusak (1-2)
MD9: Greal VS Idanno (2-1)
MD10: Greal VS Urna Eletrônica (1-1)
MD11: Greal VS Jaseuyeon (0-0)
MD12: Greal VS Draistania (2-1)
MD13: Greal VS Jeruselem
MD14: Greal VS Starblaydia

Greal VS Jeruselem Preview

Greal will be facing Jeruselem tomorrow, after a week of strange seesaw matches. The Greali team now needed no losses for the next two matches if it was to qualify. However, Jeruselem and Starblaydia are formidable obstacles to qualifying. Ross Trent reported in his daily interview that his team's morale was high, considering it has not lost for the last four days, but he says, he fears that his team may not qualify this year and instead head to Cup of Harmony 36. Hundreds of millions will view tonight's ultimate match against Jeruselem. The weather service reports sunny sky for today's match. Will Greal prevail? Watch the match to find out!

Idanno will be playing Jaseuyeon today.

Draistania will be playing Urna Eletrônica.

Chutnusak will be playing Starblaydia.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I bet a decisive win for Greal."

"Alright Jeff, how much?"

"Six hundred dollars."

"Roger?"

"I bet a narrow win."

"How much?"

"One thousand dollars."

"Those wins are making you too confident."

"I always was confident. Now today's match will determine tomorrow's betting."

"Good point."

Want to watch the match from here?"

"Sure, invite all the guys."

"I'll come."

"Me too, what time?"

"A hour before the game starts please."

"You like the previews?"

"I hate the previews."

Away win all but ensures qualification for Peisandros.

A fantastic away victory at Euro Federations has ensured that Peisandros keeps their three point lead over of Green Wombat and also moved up to second equal with Lovisa. All Peisandros need to qualify is to get a point against Green Wombat in their next game. The game has shaped up as a thriller and you can be certain the National Sports Arena in Olympia will be packed.

In Euro Federations, the Peisandros train kept on rolling, with their third win in a row. It was a great result for a team who had won only one away game in the first round of qualification. It all bodes well for a team who came in to the qualification period expecting very little, but may leave with a spot in the World Cup.

The game saw the consistency of the Sandrian team continue, with the defence again the cornerstone. Infact Peisandros have conceded the least goals in the whole tournament to date -- sure the goal scoring hasn't been exemplary, but that lack of giving goals away has enabled Peisandros to get results in many games. Today was no different.

Peisandros were not playing their best game of football, indeed Euro Federations were on top for most of the game. However defence proved to be the difference. One serious lapse from the Euro defenders saw resurgent striker Costa Theotokis leap on the opportunity and score a simple goal.

Costa's goal came in the 71st minute and came about as two defenders had a complete mix up at the back for Euro Federations. After an intended through ball from Halkias went too far for George Theotokis, a defender went to cover the ball. As George turned away to jog back, the defender looked to pass back to the keeper. However he didn't see Costa and took too long. He was dispossessed from behind and Costa went through to score the goal easily -- the keeper had no chance.

The final score didn't really give Euro Federations justice. They out-performed Peisandros in the first half with many more shots. However many of these were shots forced by good defence which had little chance of being goals. Indeed for much of the game it was a battle of attack from one side vs defence from the other. Peisandros had little chance to show their attacking abilities.

All eyes now turn to the next game against Green Wombat. There was only one change to the side which has won the last three games, with Hyakinthos Bion coming in for Kallias Manos, who pulled up with a sore hamstring. Bion has been named for the last two games, although this could change depending on how Manos trains during the week. The game has been hugely popular with the Sandrian people, who have been buying tickets like crazy. There are only 10,000 odd tickets left and officials are expecting the stadium to be chocka-block.

Stay tuned for continued coverage of the Peisandros football teams quest for qualification.

Akbabarabad stumble away at Dancougar.


The Akbarabad national side took a serious backwards step in the quest for world cup qualification with a 3-1 away defeat to Dancougar. This defeat leaves them five points behind Kelssek with just two games left to play. Akbrabad's slim hopes now rest on winning their last two matches and hoping Kelssek lose their other game.

(Rockets players gather for what may be the biggest game of their national careers)

Carson: Guys, as we embark on this match tonight, I want to start by letting you know that I am proud of all of you for getting us into this position given the tremendous adversity we’ve had to face.

(Players nod)

Carson: We know what’s at stake. If we beat Milchama tonight, it becomes extremely probable that we will be playing for the World Cup.

McAllister: No ifs, man. Look, everyone.... this is a special thing we got going on right here. Everything about this situation as it is would just be perfect. Qualify for the World Cup, probably, with a win right here on the Empress’ turf. You remember what she said.

(Players nod)

McAllister: She said we weren’t good enough. She said the people of Newmanistan didn’t care enough about football. We all know that was a load of shit because we have great fans. Pocono City is her domain. We want to qualify for this World Cup very badly, but given all this, I know you all will agree that it would just be so sweet to do it here, right now, and make her take her words about us and shove them up her royal ass!

(Players cheer, chant, hollar, etc.)

Brooker: I remember during the Di Bradini Cup that we won and during our Baptism of Fire that she made the trip to Starblaydia and spoke to us about how much what we were doing meant to this country. Nice to know how much of a load of crap that was.

Carlson: Yeah man like where is she now? She’s not going to admit she was wrong so what we have to do is simply make her look as stupid as we possibly can.

Carson: You know guys, I have been a Pocono City Capital my entire career. I love this stadium and I have always loved the city. Believe me when I say to you that this city is behind us even if the Empress tries to say otherwise. I had respect for her at one time, but like all of you, I do no longer. I can’t tell you enough how much winning this game will mean to me. Like Jeremy said, to shove it up her ass, but for me, to do it right here where I spent my whole playing and coaching career, that would just be awesome. I look around this room and I see players who are together and know they can win. That is good.

Brooker: Absolutely, coach.

Carson: Do not be intimidated by Milchama just on their name. They a team in flux right now, they constantly make strange roster decisions and they are not what they may have been before. They’ve lost four times, they can lose a fifth.

Brooker: Right on coach!

Carson: Now, here are some things the scouts and I have picked up on. (Coach goes into strategic mode)


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

(Meanwhile, at the Royal Palace, Empress Jessica talks with her brother Prince Michael about what’s going on with the team. The Prince is the coach of the lacrosse team, who have a bye today in those championships).


Empress: The football team is still going to steal your thunder.

Prince: They have to beat Milchama, Jess. What are the odds?

Empress: If they qualify, how am I going to explain what I’ve done? It’s bad enough I have people rioting in the streets thinking this means I am going to take away other freedoms and crap like that.

Prince: Maybe you should take away some freedoms.

Empress: This wouldn’t be a good time. The problem is if they qualify, I look stupid.

Prince: Jess, honestly, do you want them to qualify?

Empress: They can’t qualify because if they do then football fever will pick up more. We already got Samseong’s presence here now.

Prince: That electronics tax surplus you were thinking of might be a wise idea.

Empress: It would be if it weren’t for the riots. What if something bad happens at the Stadium tonight?

Prince: But look at it this way, if they do qualify, they are going to go three and out. Probably look bad in the process in which you can just say that you knew that something like that would happen. You can get a positive spin on it somehow. Unless they want on some kind of run in the World Cup, but we both know that won’t happen.

Empress: That’s a good way to look at it. I have to admit it, Michael, there’s part of me that.... that.... that.....

Prince: That what?

Empress: Well in a way, I want them to win.

Prince: I guess. Don’t worry though we both know Milchama will win, eliminate them, and the fans can focus our efforts to win the Lacrosse championship.

Empress: Yeah.

Prince: This qualifying has been no different then all the others. Slow start, come on strong at the end with a game at the end that if we won it we would have qualified, but then they end up choking in that game. World Cup 43, Dancougar. World Cup 42, Az-Cz. World Cup 40, Bostopia. All the same story. Put Milchama next to World Cup 44 right in line with the others.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

To: Queen Alexandra Katherine Dallas of Jeruselem
From: Jennifer Vilardi, Newmanistan forward
Re: Decisions, decisions

Before we went into our team meeting today I got together with my sister, as well as the three guys who are eager to play in Jeruselem discussing the offers that you presented to me. We are all confident that the financial details will all be worked out. For me and Shannon, the big deal is being able to play together at the club level. We have never really been teammates, and even with the national team it is so rare that we are out there at the same time. The decision between Tel Aviv and Jerusalem United was a difficult one, but we are both opting for Tel Aviv because of our respect for the Dallas family and the desire to play for the team in which they operate.

Brian Rafferty felt that Jerusalem United would be the best spot for him. He was turned off by the political correctness Beersheba United. However, Bobby Foley was excited about that very thing and thinks that will be a good spot for him, thinking it was the best atmosphere. Corey Hennis, who is a devout Christian, said the decision for him was a no brainer and that he was hoping for an offer from Christian Palestine, so when he got it, he didn’t even look at the others.

We can’t wait to go, and on our first opportunity we will be heading there to meet with the necessary people. I thank you for all of your help, having your supporting behind me and my teammates. It means a lot. Jeremy Brooker told me that if he hadn’t already been a long time member of Dunboor FC in Cafundeu that he would have jumped on this opportunity immediately! Take care and hope that we will meet very soon.

Cheers!
– Jenn

No definition, just a simple CUTOFF. Bam.

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Koseli Cumhuriyetler 3 Demot 2
Turks Stun World Number 2's
Despite not being able to qualify the Turks are still showing a fighting spirit.

The Turks pulled off yet another comeback this time from 2-1 down as the Turks took a lead. Yes that's right a lead. Via a Erdem shot from 30 yards. Then a quickfire double from Toni Flintus put the away side 2-1 up at half time.

The Turks started off the second half more pacey than their opponents and got a equalizer in the 60th minute Sinan Kose executing the sublime finish. Then as tensions heated up Arif got sent off for a professional foul and then the Demotians missed from the subsequent penalty as Sinan Kose doubled his money with a well executed finish at the last.

Woodstock Daily Mail

Stars dominate Liventia; No. 1 awaits

By Travis West
Daily Mail Staff Writer

It all comes down to this.

After the Sarzonian national football team routed world No. 54 Liventia 3:0 in front of a sold out crowd of 88,920 at Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium, the Stars now face their most important match since World Cup XXX.

Sarzonia must play away to world No. 1 Valanora, two-time defending World Cup champion Valanora for the right to advance to the World Cup finals. Not only that, but they must win the match and hope West Zirconia and Taeshan play to a draw. Otherwise, it will be the first Cup of Harmony appearance for the Stars since World Cup XVIII.

"We know the odds we face," said Manager Brian Wilson, who starred on that World Cup XVIII side that ended up winning the 10th Cup of Harmony over Legalese. "Having said that, I don't think anyone covering this team would have expected us to be in this position on the final Matchday of World Cup qualifying.

Indeed, no. Sarzonia were now an unknown quantity after being absent for the 13 previous World Cups. The World Cup XXX side advanced to the finals without having to break a sweat. This team has had to outwork everyone to have a chance. But Wilson said he wouldn't have it any other way.

"I'm proud of this side," he said. "We earned our opportunity to face Valanora for the right to advance to the Finals. That's all you can ask for."

Sarzonia earned their opportunity courtesy of new starting forward Reese Nichols. He scored two goals and assisted on a Matt Lynch marker to give Sarzonia (4-6-3, 18 points, fourth place Group 2) the edge on the scoreboard. The defence took it from there, limiting Liventia (2-3-8, nine points, seventh place) to four shots, and only one on goalkeeper Cody Taylor.

Nichols said he was pleased to win the match, but added that whatever happened against Valanora would bode well for the Stars.

"It does us some good facing a must-win match against Valanora," he said. "Whether we end up in the World Cup finals or in the Cup of Harmony, we'll have gone in with some momentum." To wit: Sarzonia go into the final qualifying stage match against Valanora with a four-match unbeaten streak. However, Lynch said the team would regret its goalless draw against O Ale Ale.

"That was arguably our best opportunity to earn three points among the three we drew," he said. "If we win that match and this one, we don't need to hope for a draw between Taeshan and West Zirconia."

If West Zirconia (5-4-4, 19 points, third place) win, they advance regardless of the outcome between Sarzonia and Valanora (10-2-1, 32 points, second place). Meanwhile, Valanora are one point behind Daehanjeiguk (11-0-2, 33 points) for first place in the group, so Taylor said Valanora have something to play for.

"You want to go into a World Cup finals playing with some momentum," he said. "Valanora are not going to lie down for us. We're going to have to go there and outwork them and play mistake-free football to get a result."

FINAL GAME HAS MEANING FOR OPPONENT

It is a classic situation. A team that has been beaten up and demoralized by the competition fails to make the “playoffs”. Then that team gets a chance to make a statement when an opponent comes to town wanting a win. Such will be the case when Peisandros comes to Secristan. Given that they just choked against Green Wombat, allowing the Wombats to still have a chance to qualify for the World Cup. May we remind our good old friends from the Q Continuum about who eliminated us in the Cup of Harmony “play-in” game four years ago. Why then, would we want Green Wombat to make the World Cup? What exactly is in this for us? They still have to beat Lovisa anyway. Then we have Peisandros, the losers of the Baptism of Fire 31 final. We have something in common with Peisandros being the losers of the Baptism of Fire 30 final. So shouldn’t we just want them to win? No, you see the word going around the Secristan locker room right now is that Peisandros should have to pay their dues a little more. First time nations are not supposed to qualify for the World Cup. We didn’t. Nor did Myedvedeya in World Cup 43. Is it envy? Maybe, but there was game in Peisandros back on matchday seven that ended in a victory for our beloved Millionaires, and that was on the road. Peisandros is wishing we shut up right now. Why do we need to make a media release, we’re supposed to be eliminated already? It’s the thrill of being the spoiler. There’s nothing better when you had already long succumbed to the fact that you were not going to achieve your main goal. But then, why should be nice to Green Wombat? That win they had over us back on matchday eight was very controversial keep in mind. Maybe we just don’t like green wombats.

We remind both Green Wombat and Peisandros that the Secristan Department of Sports, which has complete influence over the play of the team has experienced disappointing levels of profit from this World Cup qualification attempt. These losses have been tough but could be recovered if say someone’s national football association wished to provide financial incentive for the team to perform the way that would be best for them, if you get our point. The SDOS is open for discussions with both nations should they which to try and relieve some of their losses. Should there be no “donation”, we asked several players which team they would rather see play for the World Cup. Here were some responses:

Michael Rossiter: “Peisandros but hopefully only because Green Wombat lost to Lovisa.”

Lucas Kempski: “Peisandros because I hate Becky Fick.”

Eric Fraser: “Green Wombat. I like green things.”

Curtis Coleman: “Green Wombat, they are a more exciting team to watch. Better for the World Cup.”

Chris Coventry: “Green Wombat because they have chicks on the team.”

Kevin Walker: “I couldn’t care less. Green Wombat though because that probably means we won.”

James Rogan: “Green Wombat, I don’t like defensive teams.”

Carl Perino: “Peisandros, better story.”

Michael Cardona: “Peisandros because I want revenge on Green Wombat in the Cup of Harmony.”

World Cup 44 Qualification - Group 2
MD1: 2-0 vs [42] West Zirconia (@ Munhwa Football Stadium - 65,000, Hanseong)
MD2: 0-2 @ [???] Sarzonia (@ Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium - 88,920, Woodstock)
MD3: 5-0 vs [76] Dariusville (@ Potala Palace - 34,000, Lasa)
MD4: 2-0 @ [54] Liventia (@ Colonial Stadium, Orean)
MD5: 2-0 vs [1] Valanora (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium - 200,000, Hangyeong)
MD6: 1-0 @ [34] Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colosseum - 599,000, Atlantea)
MD7: 3-0 vs [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium - 80,000, Gwangju)
MQ: 1-4 @ Sorthern Northland (@ somewhere new and special, but I haven't a clue...)
MD8: @ 4-0 [42] West Zirconia (@ Manchester Street - 85,000, Moorcroft)
MD9: 2-0 vs [???] Sarzonia (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium - 50,000, Daebo)
MD10: 3-0 @ [76] Dariusville (@ Humphra Ignhorium - 2,000, some forest in Dariusville)
MD11: 3-1 vs [54] Liventia (@ Silk Road Stadium - 56,000, Seoan)
MD12: 5-1 @ [1] Valanora (@ Hatire Memorial - 60,000, Capri)
MD13: 2-1 vs [34] Taeshan (@ Tae-majt Park - 69,000, Pyeongyang)
MD14: @ [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ hopefully not in a beer bottle)



MBC World Cup Special Report
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Fans Need to Grow Up - Mature; Han win despite Fans cheering for Taeshan

PYEONGYANG - After what must have been a horrendous match away from home, the Han came back to Pyeongyang with a downtrodden spirit. And it showed, because Taeshan scored in the first ten minutes on the match, and the fans started to boo the Han. It was quite a different attitude. Definitely, people were upset. Numerous fans were escorted from the stadium because they couldn't behave properly; doubtless, they'll be sent away for instruction. In fact, it got so bad at one point that the stadium announcer had to ask the fans to be calm. How does the fan convert between absolutely supportive to absolutely disrespectful? I'm still not quite sure, but the attitude that the Han showed was totally uncharacteristic of the nationalist zeal that lights a fire in every house.

I must confess that Ii might be partially responsible for the fans turning awry, but that does not mean that I support or condone the potatoes being tossed into the stadium. I don't condone any action that draws support away from the Imperial team. I'd like it that Ioshido was better - he's shown us great qualities of being a football manager. But given the choice between tossing a potato at Ioshido or tossing a potato at some random foreigner - I'd rather not toss a potato... - I'd choose the foreigner. Come on, people!!! He's our team manager! He's our coach! He's our companion. We can't treat him like that, even if he's from Cafundéu. And the players! They've been our players since the start. Are you throwing a potato at the team that went to the Quarterfinals in WC42? Are you throwing a potato at the team that won the Baptism of Fire 23, for WC36? If so, I question your moral values. When your kids fail a test at school, do you throw potatoes at them? You might yell at them, you might call them dummies, you might do all sorts of abuse, but you never toss a potato at them. You show them love and care! You help them go get that A on the test! You love your kids; now love your team! And if you don't love your kids, please - for the love of whatever you do love - go see a doctor.

So with that said, I was pretty disappointed with how the fans at Tae-majt Park reacted to the Han winning. After Pak Gyuseon netted the first goal after the 60th minute, it was like the stadium turned off. No one was chatting, and the announcer even remarked - "It's quiet like my neighbors' back yard, and I don't have any neighbors." They were silent still after Yi Beomsuk knocked in a corner kick after the 79th minute - to win the match. Maybe the fans were silent because they were ashamed of themselves. I certainly hope so. But unlike shameful fans, we should have been yelling our lungs off. So we yelled at the team for losing - fair enough. They stopped losing. Reward your team with cheers! Reward them with love! We share in the joy with our team, and when they win, we win; when they lose, we lose. We cannot have the team without the pain or joy of their accomplishments.

So, with that said, I'm saving all of my reasons to get rid of Ioshido until after the World Cup - because we need to be completely devoted to our team. We need to show the world that we are still the greatest fans in the world, even if the team we have doesn't match their skill. We want our players to say that they're proud of us, as much as they are of themselves! And when we go to the World Cup, we want the world to know who the Han are and what we can do. Of course, the list of things that we can do but shouldn't: kill someone, maim someone, rape someone, blackmail someone, be lazy and take all of the credit for something from someone, squeak like a girl/guy, beat 10 people up at the same time and walk away smoking their weed, and stuff like that. We want the world to know that we are fans driven by the joys of our team. Win or lose, we want people to know that this is our cup.


=== === ===

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ooc: AUGH!!!! CHOICES!!! I had to flip a coin...

To Loudon Chamber of Commerce:
RE: Re: We’d love to have you

We have reviewed your proposal, and we are very pleased with the quality offer that you have offered to Samseong in the establishment of a foreign base of operations. Unfortunately, we have received many quality offers and have already thus made our decision to locate our enterprise in Putnam Lake. While situated upon a river, Samseong was looking also for easy access to sea. Nonetheless, we are impressed with the geographic significance of the city, and in due time, we are certain to establish a secondary center in the city if Newmanistanian markets prove open to Samseong's opportunities.

We are very happy that you have offered us this opportunity, and it was only after a great debate that the Board made the decision. We wish you well, and we hope to find another opportunity to invest in Loudon.

Most Sincerely,

Samseong - Board of Directors


=== === ===

To Putnam Lake Tourism:
RE: Re: Choose Putnam Lake!

We have reviewed your proposal, and after a good amount of debating, we have agreed that Putnam Lake is our best location for value. Beyond the existing industries in the region, beyond the concentration of academic prowess, beyond the potential for a loyal commercial market, Samseong was very intrigued with an open sea option. We are glad to say that we have your city as a matter of practical utility to the company, and a matter of convenience to the loyal customers. We would like the Board to note that your city was considered above other options in a good competition to determine our seat, and we were thoroughly surprised to see as much cooperation as we found.

We hope to begin building as soon as we can. Members of our Office of Football Affairs are presently in Newmanistan, to watch the National Team play against Milchama, and after the match, they will be in the city to investigate the Board's decision.

We look forward to many new years of prosperity with your city.

Most sincerely,

Samseong - Board of Directors


=== === ===

To Brian Carson, Head Coach, and Distinguished Members of the Newmanistanian National Football Team:

We are extremely pleased to see that Newmanistan came out on top of a 4-4 draw against Milchama. While a win would have certainly been more preferable, the Board of the Office of Football Affairs is thoroughly pleased to have elected to sponsor the team for WC45 and beyond. The game was an exciting adventure and we're certain that the fans were all elated to watch the players perform so admirably at home. Perhaps this losing first, winning next strategy may have helped the team in their pursuit to qualify - putting stress upon winning the games - but as we're just businessmen, we haven't a clue as to what makes the most appropriate football strategy.

Nonetheless, we were delighted to see the team play in action and we have no doubt that WC45 will be quite successful for the team.

Most sincerely,

Samseong - Office of Football Affairs


=== === ===

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紐滿重生大王國
뉴만중생대왕국

To Her Serene Majesty, Empress Jessica of Newmanistan:

On behalf of His Imperial Majesty, I would like to extend a formal ceremony of recognition. While this ceremony is seldom understood beyond our borders, we feel that the ceremony is necessary for Imperial standards to continue; whereby most countries do not have as strict administrative requirements concerning the establishment of new countries, recognition by the Academy is not the first step to formal relations and furthermore is not the only step.

At the insistence of our burgeoning companies, seeking new international markets, we are offering this establishment in the name of peace and prosperity. We further wish to invite Newmanistan to bring her bounties to the Han. With due time, we hope that our two great states may behold new opportunities for growth and prosperity. Despite what the World Assembly may say of your country, we feel that Newmanistan holds many great fortunes for the world to come seeking.

Most reverently,

Count Han Seungsu
韓昇洙伯

ooc: yes, I made you a name

(from the ‘Sports’ section of ’The Bear Necessities’…)


BEAR-BELLES BEDAZZLE BLOUMANISHERS!

Bears Armed 2 – 0 Blouman Empire.

Rated 39th in the world (to our own 84th place), seeded fourth in this ‘group’ (to our own sixth place), and quite consistently holding second place in the group, the team from the Blouman Empire — whatever the proper adjective for them is — were obviously going to be tough opponents. When the Belles played against the Bloumen at their home ground they beat us 2:0, so few of the people who’d really studied the teams and their records were seriously expecting more than a drawn result — at best — for the return match at Plumtrees Park … but the Belles proved all of the nay-sayers wrong, and did so in splendid style! The Bloumani were apparently happy to rely mainly on a strong defensive posture for holding onto their place in the table, and may have been slowed a bit by the low temperature (hovering about four degrees below freezing) too, so that as the Belles themselves were playing slightly more cautiously than usual as well the entire first half went by without any goals being scored and with very few even attempted. (Bears Armed = 3 ‘shots on goal’, Blouman Empire = 2).
Despite this lack of a score, however, Bob Smith left the line-up for the start of the second half unchanged from the set of players who had opened the game as a whole. Some of the crowd questioned his judgement in this respect, and called loudly for various other players to be brought on, but he was soon vindicated… ‘The Locomotive’ (Beorra o Barrdenn [#8]) took the ball from a Bloumeanie midfielder at the edge of the Blouming team’s penalty area, only six minutes after play had resumed, and successfully charged all of the way to the 6-yard line before unleashing a powerful shot that surged past the Bloumaner goalkeeper Whats’isname and into the net. This finally prompted the Bloumanges (?) into trying a series of counter-attack, and their striker What’chcall’im managed to get 2 shots ‘on goal’ in the following ten minutes but both of those were easily saved by the Belles’ current goalie Urra Thunder (#14). The game settled down into more of a ‘siege’ situation again after that, and the Bloumands — two of whom actually had to request substitution because of the cold’s effects — seemed to have given up. Then, just as ‘stoppage time’ was starting, Bloumanic ‘Midfield Centre’ Whoever’eeis got hold of the ball and kicked it high & long in a pass to their striker Dunno’isname who was well inside the Belles’ half of the pitch… but that player was then promptly tackled by Urra ‘Honey’ SunBlessed (#4; playing as ‘Defensive Centre’..) who passed it forwards to Marra SunDaughter who passed it sideways to winger Ulga WestWalker (#12)… who SCORED! And then, before the Bloumanses could even consider having another go at retaliating, the referee blew his whistle for ‘full time’.
Hooray!


Goals
Bears Armed = 2: (o Barrdenn, B. [52]; WestWalker, U. [93])
(Possession = 66%; ‘Shots on Goal’ = 8)

Blouman Empire = 0.
(Possession = 34 %; ‘Shots on Goal’ = 5)[/i]

Cards
Bears Armed: 3 yellow cards.
Blouman Empire: 5 yellow cards.

Injuries
Bears Armed: ----------
Blouman Empire: 1 Winger & 1 Back both retired “too bloody cold”!


(Full report inside, on page S-3…)

"Dear Lord, what have I gotten myself into?"

Not six hours after he'd accepted the job as coach of Rymeria's national soccer team, Chris Trautwig was already wondering why he'd taken the position. Scooter Boscoe seemed somewhat -- aggressive -- during the interview, and he had a strong sense that the $50,000 NS offer was of the "take it or leave it" variety.

Now he was beginning to see why he privately wondered about his decision to accept the position. Boscoe was sitting across from him in his office, deliberately oblivious to a sign prohibiting putting your feet up on the desk, telling him whom to start and whom shouldn't be on the team.

"Scooter," he said, "you hired me to make those decisions," Trautwig said. "You're going to have to let me decide how this team is to play its matches and who should start."

Wrong decision. Boscoe lit into him, leading to a massive screaming match between the two men. Finally, Boscoe had enough. He stood up and walked out without so much as a "good luck."

Trautwig also knew he was facing a "unique" situation when Boscoe barged right into his office, opening the shut door without knocking. He would soon find out from other employees that Boscoe did that all the time. None of the doors had locks on them. Boscoe expressly prohibited that.

His coaching debut had gone well. Rymeria won its "home" match at Government Park in Atalanta over Euro Federations by a 3-1 final score. Trautwig decided to allow his players to have a bit more freedom offensively than Hannan had. He decided that stifling the team's creativity hadn't worked, so now it was up to Erik Dumfries and the rest of the Rhinos to play a more attractive style of soccer.

Trautwig looked wistfully at the final score from Group 2. Sarzonia 3:0 Liventia. Now the Stars would face one final qualifying match at Valanora with the right to advance to the World Cup hanging in the balance. Sarzonia had to win the match, plain and simple.

Why did I accept this crap job? Trautwig thought. He knew the answer. He wanted an opportunity to coach his own national team. But it wasn't even his team. It was Boscoe's. And it would be until the day he died.

One final match, for nothing but pride. That's all Rymeria would have left. Little did Trautwig know, that would be the only match he would have left as national team coach.

Purple Knights Defeated In Daehanjeiguk

Remeber the days when we were three and o against Daehnjeiguk. Well, those day are over know. In the past four games versus the Han's team we have been defeated. The fourth was just last night in Pyeonyang, at the home of the Tae-Mart owned Hannish team Pyeonyang Gukjei. It was a fitting second to last game of World Cup qualifying as the Knights as usual did not perform up to par, and lost to the Daehanjiguk team easily. Practically lying over in the second half and letting them storm back into the game with there two goals.

The lone Knights goal was scored early on in the game. Brian Ying Uing was able to score his eightieth international goal on a header in the 7th minute. Zeke Jr was credited with an assist. But coming out of halftime the Knights let there guard down and the Hannish team came storming back. Pat Gyuseon would score there first goal in the 60th minute and Yi Beomsuk would score the winning goal just minutes later. That was the end to the epic rivalry this year, and the Han won both games.

Epic Twist To Be Played Out In Last Game

Remeber last year in the Cup Of Harmony championship game the Knights faced one of there curtious hosts. The West Zirconians. The Knights won that game, as they did a game earlier in this qualifying series. With this loss to Daehnjieguk the Knights have just created a schenario where they will have to defeat the team, they defeated to win there most coveted trophy. This would not be a good time for them to get there revenge, for us anyways.

Silly loss makes for a fantastic finish on MD fourteen

Peisandros have slipped up horribly in their quest for qualification. After beating Green Wombat on the road in the first round, the wonderful wombats wowed the Peisandros crowd and repaid the favour in fantastic fashion. In light of the luckless loss, a three point gap between the two tremendous teams has arisen. The equation is easy enough now, if the Wombats win and Peisandros lose to Secristan, the great, Green, game-winning team will go through.

There are no changes 'cause coach Pappas has faith in the team, but many of the fanatical, feverish, fans are not so happy. Some are even calling for blood, beautiful blood, but this is unlikely as the board of selectors seems simply set on the set-up of the team for the moment.

Pappas has spoken seriously in a candid interview meant to be realised soon, but we got a sneak session.

"To be honest, we shouldn't even be doing so well. I think karma is coming back a bit. A read a news report over in Secristan about how first timers aren't mean to qualify and they're right. We've been very lucky to get so far. We would love to qualify, but we would also be hugely happy with a Cup of Harmony berth. I know a lot of people won't agree with me, and don't get me wrong, I love winning. But we've had a great win and we must realise how lucky we've been."

And so the courageous coach can't comprehend the importance felt by some of the fans. But that doesn't mean this game isn't important at all. If Peisandros' players play perfectly, a pre-qualifying present is ripe for the picking.

Stay specially tuned to this station.

This message brought by the beautiful board of English Development -- especially the Language Features and More committee.

Ad’ihani fans rampage through Fort Boston after loss

At least five hundred travelling Ad’ihani fans have rioted in Fort Boston after Bostopia defeated Ad’ihan 4-2 in a World Cup qualifying match at the Bostopia Stadium.

The incident revived the memory of ugly scenes from World Cup 39 qualifying when unruly Sel Appan fans caused a stampede and began rioting in Protectorate Stadium, damaging it. Two Sel Appans were charged in that incident, escaping capital punishment only after the then-Governor agreed to repatriate them.

The rioters were protesting a refereeing decision which saw Ad’ihani captain Anthony Jones sent off for what appeared to be an innocuous challenge with just eight minutes left and the score at 2-2. Fans in the away section began surging and fighting broke out near the separator with home fans, by which time Bostopia had scored twice to seal the win.

Riot police and stewards moved in quickly to break up the scuffles but after the match finished, more than 500 of the 8,100 travelling section began rioting, with a number seen smashing car and shop windows in the street outside Bostopia Stadium.

Fort Boston City Police confirmed the arrest of 64 individuals, and said they were still reviewing CCTV footage and were seeking another 130 individuals for questioning.

The Ad’ihan Department of Foreign Affairs confirmed it is looking into the matter, including providing consular support for any Ad’ihanis arrested. The Secretary of State for Culture, Sport and the Arts, Mitch Holmes MP, criticised the fans involved and promised to work closely with Bostopian authorities.

Early damage estimations have totalled near B£138,000 (Tz 140,000).

In a separate development, at least three middle- to late-aged Ad’ihanis have been arrested by Bostopian police on suspected paedophilia charges, which the DFA says it is looking into.

As for the match itself, it was a fairly even game until Jones received his marching orders. Bostopia took the lead on 15 minutes but were pegged back six minutes later when Greg Innisvale scored with a thumping 20-yard shot. Ad’ihan then gained the advantage when Jones played Francis Yang in to coolly slot home just after the restart, although Bostopia levelled it up once more shortly after.

Jones was then sent off with eight minutes to go, changing the face of the game. Bostopia scored two in quick succession, and Ad’ihan manager Devida Cal was clearly seething at the post-match interview at the red card. Jones himself has maintained it was a clean challenge, and the AFF are expected to appeal to the WC44 disciplinary committee to strike out the red card.

Alima Cromrina had always been on of the quieter workers inside the VFA headquarters. Despite being the individual in charge of inagurating the new Presidents, she was often used as an errand girl in the time between those occasions. No, the green eyed lady was unremarkable in every way and just another member of the Association that was expected to do their job week in, week out to make sure things continued to run smoothly. Tonight was different though, as she had been entrusted by Akatharn Maaltidia to shadow Tobias Raynor and make sure that nothing out of the ordinary occured. She was also to inform the Great Leader that he had been elected to the President of the VFA, despite not enter the running of the competition himself, but through being nominated by the required one thousand signatures of civilians not apart of the Association.

She had somehow scaled the fence of the magnificent Raynor Mansion, and eluded detection by it's security by just the sheer grace of luck. The lady of the mansion had requested several trees be planted two years before, and they were just now becoming quite tall enough to block the view of two of the security cameras. Alima had noticed that flaw three weeks to the prior when she had visited the Mansion on the request of Tobias, to inform the VFA of the sting operation that he and the Senate were going to perform on Rodiel, the previous President. She had pointed out the flaw to the chief of security, and he said that they were aware of the problem and would be correcting it shortly. She had choosen her spot to infiltrate the compound of hopes that the maintence had not been completed.

After several minutes of sitting against the base of the tree, and with no sign of any of the guard coming her way, she had continued into the mansion and found and empty room just two doors down from Tobias' study. Despite having seven full functioning office rooms in the mansion, the former Great Leader had a tendancy to do the majority of his work in the study, the same study that his grandfather had used when he lived inside the mansion, during his time as Patriarch. She spend the night between reading, doing crosswords, and occasionaly contemplating leaving the compound and just forgetting about this whole ordeal.

The tell tell signs of the elf making his way down from his room to the study could be heard early in the morning, when Alima was starting to get quite drowzy. She was preparing to go and confront Tobias, and inform him of the situation, when her cell phone began to vibrate. Her caller id showed that it was Ron Santapa, the Chief Editor of the Valanora Times, and a key member of a group inside the VFA who had decided to accept Tobias' nomination.

"Good morning Ron, I was just about to inform our good friend of his surprise. So unless it is something important, can you please call me later?"

"You haven't told him yet?! Oh this is not good Alima. Somehow the story leaked to the Times, and though we are not printing the story until Sunday, I am sure someone else will have known by now. The first papers are just now being deliverred, so if you hurry you might yet circumvent the surprise for Tobias."

She immiedately hung up the cell phone and calmly, yet hurriedly walked down the few steps to the study and knocked on the door. When the young elf opened the door, she knew that she was too late, as she could see under his arm to the computer screen, where the frontline showed it all.

"Care to tell me how this might have happen Alima? I know for certain that I made sure to leave my name out of the running. Yet here is the story saying that I not only was in the running, but that I won the vote without a single vote against me. Your appearance here confirms that this is no hoax, so what is the reasoning behind this?"

"Well... it's like this Tobias. The fans are soo displeased with the VFA at the moment that they somehow found that anyone with Association membership during the past five years can be nominated for the position, if and only if they aquire one thousand signatures from citizens outside of the Association. Three days before the vote was cast, a trio of supporters deliverred the petition with not only the required one thousand signatures, but with a whole other fifty-eight thousand signatures requesting your nomination. As the vote shows, with such a public outcry for you be nominated, and basically voted for, the members had basically little choice in the matter. If you wish to decline the position, it is within your power to do so, but under VFA Bylaw 9.84 section 1.093, the former President would then be reawared the spot. I am sure you share the VFA sentiments in feeling that that action is not in the best interest of the Association."

"It is obvious, as I was the one who ordered the investigation into her, and then the failed sting following the results of the investigation.

While I did not wish to be in this position, I will take the position considering the actions that would transire as a result of my declining of it. However, I will not be rerunning when my term is up, and I expect you to have found a suitable canidate who can take over when I have finished what I can here. A throw of support from me, and the canidate would be sure to win. You have two years Alima, do not let me or your country down."

--Bostopia Stadium, 3.7 miles North-East from Fort Boston Castle, Fort Boston City--

The Ad'ihanis surged toward the Bostopian fans, only a wide set of stairs and the stewards guarding them in-between them and their targets. Bostopia Stadium's security team, high in a separate box in the opposite stand caught sight of it at about the same time that the stewards reacted.

“Eyebox to FBCP, hooligan activity, section K4, immediate assistance required, away fans have initiated.”

As the message spread, the fans had reached the stairs, having leaped over the first concrete divide, and began forcing their way through the stewards that were attempting to keep the peace. While the stewards were well trained – and not quite overwhelmed yet – the police that arrived did so at the right moment, as the most foolhardy (or brave, depending on your standpoint) Bostopian fans in attendance decided to repel what a lot of them saw as an invasion.

While most of the stadium watched the violence erupt, the referee for some unknown reason decided stopping the game wasn't an option, but allowed Bostopia to score another two goals against a team that had gone down to ten men.

--Porthcawl Road, post-match--

Wisely, the away fans came in and out of the stadium via a different entrance to the home fans. Away fans were segregated into one road, in this case the Porthcawl Road, with terraced housing dating back to the late 1800's, early 1900's on either side, with a few shop fronts having been converted from houses. There were the usual lines of taxis, a couple of coaches and a large number of police waiting in the road, to help the fans get away from the stadium and either to a hotel or the airport depending on their plans in the safest way possible.

However, a sizeable minority of Ad'ihani fans decided against getting away from the stadium safely or peacefully. It began with a wing-mirror being torn off a taxi and then being hurled at shop window, not with the force to smash through it, but enough to kick the other supporters who were still aggrieved into causing trouble. As the riot police headed into place and set up their battle lines, other items had been found, with houses and shops having windows put through with wheelie-bins that had been thrown by the stronger fans. Taxis and coaches that had now been left well unattended by their drivers also came under attack, with anything that could be ripped off ripped off, and in some cases, their radios stolen and seats torn.

Meanwhile, at police lines, orders were being put in place.

“Lower shields. Batons ready. Hold the line.. HOLD THE LINE!” The Sergeant shouted at his squad. “We will charge on my say. Arrest orders are anyone you can get your hands on on suspicion of any of these offences; criminal damage, breach of the peace or assaulting a police officer.”

While the Riot Squad had been an obvious target for missiles, the amount thrown now became thicker as the Squad was more prepared for their charge.

A heavy item that had previously been in a bin bounced off the shield of the Sergeant in charge as he prepared himself. Looking across at his forces, and seeing they were at preparedness, he yelled his orders.

“Begin advance, walking pace.” He told his squad, who began walking forward, banging their batons off their shields as they went along, missiles continuing to be lobbed in.

The Sergeant assessed the situation in Porthcawl Road, and noted the away fans were giving up hardly an inch of where their ragtag formation was holding ground.

The orders came from the Sergeant over to the headphones inside the helmets of the riot police, and also to offices throughout Fort Boston City Police's Headquarters.“Squadron, prepare for baton charge, shields lowered, use force as required, make any arrest you can.”

A few more missiles were lobbed in – fortunately none of the flammable variety – and the Sergeant decided he'd seen enough for tonight.

“Squadron, in line, CHARGE!”

OLHO NO LANCE! - YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE
Partner of Globo Multimedia

WORLD CUP 44 QUALIFIERS – full coverage
Written by Sílvio Ruiz with comments by Breno Gavião [I mean, Cléber Foice] (from TV coverage)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE QUALIFICATION, AT LAST

After playing many consecutive games at home, the Monopolists had to travel to the small country of Iseerussiafrommyhouse to play one of the two last games of the World Cup qualifiers. Cafundéu’s objective was clear: get the victory. A positive result in this game was vital, as the opponents still had qualifying chances, and because Cafundéu could also guarantee (depending of the other results too) the qualification with a victory. After a campaign of many slips, bad performances and critics from the media and supporters, the Monopolists finally had the chance to get the qualification, and calm down the situation with this. The team had a good game, although not an excellent one, but enough to get the victory and, thankfully, the qualification.

Before the game, an information shocked and worried all the Cafundelenses: the referee chosen for this game was the old Garth Valxen, from Wentland, CCFM’s worst enemy. That bald man was responsible for many losses of the Monopolists, using his lack of ability to harm Cafundéu’s team with wrong calls. The CCFM tried to complain, and asked for a change, but it was too late. It seemed that Valxen asked to whistle a Cafundéu game as his last game (he is going to retire after the World Cup qualifying, as his chances of getting into the World Cup are extremely small). The game started, but no one was relaxed with that situation, as Valxen could easily destroy Cafundéu’s hopes in that game. Surprisingly, the first controversial call was in Cafundéu’s favour. A foul near the entrance of the area that ended in a red card for a player of Iseerussiafrommyhouse. Augusto César crossed and Titov headed to score.

The first half didn’t have many goal opportunities, and the referee was, to everyone’s surprise, doing a good job. Replays shown that the foul existed, and that the player deserved the red card. In the second half, Cafundéu attacked willing to score the second goal, and it didn’t take much time for that to happen. Renildo crossed the ball to the area, Hubert controlled it, dribbled the goalkeeper and shot to score the goal. At that point, a two goal advantage seemed excellent, but the presence of Valxen in the field meant that this advantage could end in two or three strange calls. But none of them happened. Valxen had a memorable performance, and his will was clear: he wanted to prove that he didn’t want to see Cafundéu losing every game, and the fact that he made many wrong calls in games involving the Monopolists was just a coincidence. The game ended 2x0, and the Cafundelenses could commemorate the qualification.

CLÉBER FOICE’S MOMENT – THE FIRST GOAL: “José Sho holds the ball in the midfield, looks at both sides of the field for passing options and passes. Marossi with the ball now… no, it’s back with Zé Sho already, so he will attack… wait, he is on the ground, foul for Cafundéu. I missed it, was it violent? Well, it seems so, the defender received a red card, a confusion seems to be starting, while Augusto César approaches the ball… I mean, he has already crossed it to the area, who will head it? I mean, who headed it to… the goal? Goal! GOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! It was Titov, yes, he scored the goal! Cafundéu winning now by one to zero! Renassol Travel Agency. The agency that can take you anywhere, from the most beautiful beaches to the most horrible slums! A trip to Taeshan, five days, costs eight hundred vintéms! Promotional price!”

LANG’S INTERVIEWS/OTHER NEWS: the qualification! Finally! This team worried us a bit, surely, but in the end everything went well. And, of course, the members of the National Team are delighted by this last result, and commemorating the qualification. The coach David Nefasto said: “Take that, reporters! I’m sure you were expecting this team’s failure to criticize us, but we defeated you! Now to the World Cup, we’ll fight to take the trophy to show you! Hahaha!” The captain of the team, Titov, was much nicer to the media, saying: “Thanks for all the support we received, from our fans. This qualification was harder than expected, but we did it. Now to the World Cup!” Returning to Breno Gavião news, finally he got fully recovered from the surgery, and left the hospital. Cléber Foice will continue commentating until the end of the World Cup qualifiers, but Breno Gavião will return just in time to start commenting in the World Cup and in the final stage of the domestic league.


ISEERUSSIAFROMMYHOUSE 0x2 CAFUNDÉU

Place: somewhere close to somewhere else called "russia".
Attendance: some people, yes, there were some people.
Time: 06:00 Cafundelense time (18:00 local time).
Climate: clear, 4ºC.
Referee: Garth Valxen (Wentland).
Assistants: Lewis Shall (Wentland) and Marcus Börg (Newmanistan).
POTM: Anatoliy Titov (Cafundéu).

ISEERUSSIAFROMMYHOUSE: who knows?

CAFUNDÉU: Kardec; Cícero (Igor 60'), Cotuba, Titov and Luizão; Jules, Zé Sho, Augusto César and Marossi (Serrano 73'); Alves (Nando 73') and Hubert.
Coach: David Nefasto.

Goal:CAF: Titov 28' , Hubert 64'.

QSPN.COM Breaking News

REMATCH DECIDES GROUP TITLE

Henrí Savagé Stadium, New Recife....

Qazox completed its 3rd ever unbeaten home qualifying schedule with a 4-3 squeaker over Colburne. For the third consecutive match, the reserves took the pitch and after giving up a 24th minute goal to Colburne's Dan Barret; Qazox struck back with 3 goals, (by:Bonnie Young-31'; Young-35'; and Joy Saval-42') in the next 18 minutes to take a 3-1 lead into the half. But Colburne, just battling for pride re-tied the match with goals from Carlos Guevara in the 50th minute and Juan Ruiz in the 58th. But Miche Fanimov's goal in the 78th minute proved to be the game winner, improving Qazox' record to 11-1-1.

Thus rested, Qazox' starters will start in the Qualifying finale against Dancougar. All Qazox has to do is not lose and they win the group, while Dancougar needs to win to win the group. But Dancougar's had a slightly more difficult road over the last couple of matches, and they've had to use their starters more. Maybe they'll decide to give them a breather, but nothing is certain as this point.

Joining the World Cup parade today were: Sorthern Northland, Lovisa, Starblaydia, The Archregimancy, and Cafundéu. That means of the 30 qualifying berths, 22 have been earned. Let's take a close look at who's still around, and what they need to do to qualify.

GROUP 1:
Alive: Kosovoe, Yafalonia and Bazor 2, The Bostopian Empire
Kosovoe: vs. Bostopia
Yafalonia and Bazor 2: vs. AruthKandageLand
The Bostopian Empire: vs. Alversia

Kosovoe: needs to either win or have both Yafalonia and Bazor 2 and The Bostopian Empire lose, or have Yafalonia and Bazor 2 lose and The Bostopian Empire draw.

Yafalonia and Bazor 2: needs to win and have Kosovoe lose or draw; or if they draw, needs a Kosovoe loss and either a The Bostopian Empire loss or draw.

The Bostopian Empire: Needs to win and have both Kosovoe and Yafalonia and Bazor 2 to lose.

GROUP 2:
Alive: West Zirconia, Sarzonia, Taeshan
West Zirconia: @ Taeshan
Sarzonia: @ Valanora
Taeshan: vs. West Zirconia

West Zirconia: Need either a Sarzonia loss or draw and a draw with Taeshan or a win over Taeshan.

Sarzonia: Need to win and a Taeshan win or a West Zirconia-Taeshan draw.

Taeshan: Need to beat West Zirconia and have Sarzonia lose or draw.
NOTE: There is a possiblity that all 3 teams can finish level on points (19pts). It is unknown as to what the exact tiebreakers to be used are at this time.

GROUP 4:
Alive: Kenavt, Jeru FC
Kenavt: @ Deep South Sopia
Jeru FC: @ Oiseaui

Kenavt: Need a win, or a Jeru FC loss or draw to advance.
Jeru FC: Need a win and a Kenavt loss to advance.
NOTE: There is a possiblity that the 2 teams can finish level on points (24pts). It is unknown as to what the exact tiebreakers to be used are at this time.

GROUP 5:
Alive: Peisandros, Green wombat
Peisandros: @ Secristan
Green wombat: vs. Lovisa

Peisandros: Need a win, or a Green wombat loss or draw to advance.
Green wombat: Need a win and a Peisandros loss to advance.
NOTE: If the teams finish level on pts (23), Green wombat would advance based on better GD.

GROUP 6:
Alive: Kelssek, Akbarabad
Kelssek: vs. St Samuel
Akbarabad: @ Operata

Kelssek: Need a win, or a Akbarabad loss or draw to advance.
Akbarabad: Need a win and a Kelssek loss to advance.
NOTE: There is a possiblity that the 2 teams can finish level on points (21pts), It is unknown as to what the exact tiebreakers to be used are at this time.

GROUP 7:
Alive: Jaseuyeon, Urna Eletrônica
Jaseuyeon: @ Urna Eletrônica
Urna Eletrônica: vs Jaseuyeon

The winner of the match will qualify, if they draw, Jaseuyeon will advance.

GROUP 9:
Alive: Milchama, Miroxia, Newmanistan
Milchama: vs. Septentrionia
Miroxia: vs. Newmanistan
Newmanistan: @ Miroxia

Milchama: Needs a win and to have to Miroxia-Newmanistan match end in a draw; or a win and a Miroxia win (Milchama has a better GD than Miroxia), or win and a Newmanistan win, and win by more goals than Newmanistan wins by.
Miroxia: Needs to beat Newmanistan and have Milchama lose or draw.
Newmanistan: Needs to beat Miroxia and either have Milchama lose or draw or win and a Milchama win in which Newmanistan wins by more goals than Milchama.
NOTE: There is a possiblity that the 3 teams can finish level on points (22pts), It is unknown as to what the exact tiebreakers to be used are at this time.

GROUP 9:
Alive: Blouman Empire, Bears Armed, Prux
Blouman Empire: @ Yafor 2
Bears Armed: @ Iseerussiafrommyhouse
Prux: vs. Myedvedeya

Blouman Empire: Needs a win or to have either Bear Armed or Prux to lose and the other team to lose or draw.
Bears Armed: Needs a win and a Blouman Empire loss and either a Prux loss or draw.
Prux: Needs a win and a Blouman Empire loss and either a Bears Armed loss or draw.
NOTE: There is a possiblity that the 3 teams can finish level on points (21pts), It is unknown as to what the exact tiebreakers to be used are at this time.

Pruxton Globe

Then there were THREE. Blouman Empire, whom the Zombies just beat 2-1, and Bear Armed, along with the Zombies still have a shot at the World Cup. But can the Zombies win a 4th straight must-win game? Why not? They've won three in a row, for only the 2nd time ever and now need just a point, to perhaps qualify for the Cup. That's right. if they draw Myedvedeya, and Bears Armed loses as does The Blouman Empire, the Zombies qualify based on H2H against The Blouman Empire (1-1-0). But a win would be more satisfying, as it would force both Bears Armed and The Blouman Empire to win their matches to have any chance. OF course if the Zombies lose, then it's all moot, but let's not go down that road, shall we?

The schedule is this: (along with our Predictions for the Zombies)
Game 1: @ Yafor 2 LOST 0-2
Game 2: vs. Cafundeu LOST 1-2
Game 3: vs. Bears Armed WIN 3-2
Game 4: vs. LOST 1-2
Game 5: @ Brightonburg Draw 1-1
Game 6: vs. The Blouman Empire Draw 2-2
Game 7: @ Myedvedeya WIN 4-1
Game 8: vs. Yafor 2 LOST 0-3
Game 9: @ Cafundeu WIN 2-1
Game 10: @ Bears Armed LOST 2-4
Game 11: @ Iseerussiafrommyhouse WIN 2-0
Game 12: vs. Brightonburg WIN 3-2
Game 13: @ The Blouman Empire WIN 2-1
Game 14: vs. Myedvedeya (Win 2-1)

PREDICTED RECORD: 7-3-4 24pts 3rd in Group.
ACTUAL RECORD: 6-2-5 20pts; T4th in group.

The Zito Zip

2-0 win over Peisandros
keeps hopes alive.
A won over Lovisa,
along with a Peisandros loss
equals World Cup berth.
If it happens,
Wombats would make Cup
for the 4th time,
first time in 16 years!
But first things first.
Lovisa is coming to town,
and the Wombats need
to win to put pressure
on Peisandros.

Schedule:
MD1: Secristan D 1-1 (0-1-0)
MD2: Terreiro de Ogum W 1-0 (1-1-0)
MD3: @ Euro Federations L 1-2 (1-1-1)
MD4: Tynelia D 1-1 (1-2-1)
MD5: @ Rymeria D 2-2 (1-3-1)
MD6: Peisandros L 0-1 (1-3-2)
MD7: @ Lovisa D 1-1 (1-4-2)
MD8: @ Secristan W 1-0 (2-4-2)
MD9: @ Terreiro de Ogum D 1-1 (2-5-2)
MD10: Euro Federations W 4-1 (3-5-2)
MD11: @ Tynelia L 1-2 (3-5-3)
MD12: Rymeria W 3-0 (4-5-3)
MD13: @ Peisandros W 2-0 (5-5-3)
MD14: Lovisa

Akbarabad keep faint hopes alive.


Akbarabad keep their hopes of qualifying alive with a tense 1-0 home victory over fellow contenders Kelssek. In a game with few chances, the only goal of the game came through a Samin Akbar penalty shortly after half time. Akbarabad need a win in their final match away at Opereta while Kelssek have to stumble at much easier fixture available to them, a home game against bottom side St.Samuel.

What ever happens, the team gave a good account of themselves, after being written of early as another team of BOF no hopers.

Dancougar News!! Road Report
Man, I should've burned that Bird in Pads after all.
Now I just look like an idiot ^_^

Fans gifted a clash for first: We figured it would come down to this one at the beginning, and with Qazox and Dancougar both sitting pretty atop the table with no one left to challenge them for group six supremacy, a point is all that separates them after the day's results. Dancougar were victorious 3-2 in Rennidan and managed to make it out of the stadium with none of its team relieved of its juicy, delicious brains.

Zombie Drunn Deleks got the opener in the fourth minute, as he lumbered into open space after snapping at the Black Wing defenders. Surprisingly, he gave up chasing them in favor of scoring the goal, which left goalkeeper Alexander Silberstein scratching his head. Dancougar rang up a response in the 11th through Karen Stadler, and took the lead in the 28th when Anthony Ingram fired a hard shot from the top of the box. Zombie Diar Twils got a hand to it, but it came off thanks to the power behind the shot and wound up in the goal, as well.

The Wings made it 3-1 in the 65th, again through the work of Ingram, but this time it was his passing. He set up Al McNespy, who chested down Ingram's cross and sped past the defenders. He ran across the top of the eighteen and finally picked his spot, the bottom corner just past the diving reach of Twils. But Rennidan made it a game in the 71st when, with the home fans urging them forward, Deleks managed a shot that Silberstein couldn't hold onto, and Selet Loek poked it home.

But as the game wore on, the zombies began to lose some of their composure, attempting to bite the Wings more often than they were chasing the ball. This ended the comeback bid, but the Wings were unable to add to the lead since, well, running at the defense was just bringing the food to the picnic, as it were.

Bilbao sets lineup for Qazox: Both teams have been qualified, and both have stumbled in the group phase. Qazox went down to Operata after looking invincible for most of the campaign, and Dancougar suffered back-to-back losses in between winning streaks of six and five. The team hasn't looked as smooth in recent games, possibly because Bilbao's been tinkering with the lineup too much, or maybe they're just not as good as they thought.

Well, we'll see most of the usual faces in this last match with Qazox. The Wings will want a home win to close out their successful bid to return to the World Cup, but the Phoenix will want to stamp their authority on the group and announce their intention to return to the top ten in the world.

STARTING XI: Watanabe; Yukikaze, Leeds, Berber; Voronzoff, Midorikawa, Underwood, Dylandy, Ingram; Potts, Furuya
SUBSTITUTES: Brengle; Yamada, Cecilia; Landro, McNespy; Stadler, Dennin

Jeruselem Government News

Drunks beat Jeru FC, Kenavt move into qualification place

Jeru FC went crashing to the visitors from Southern Northland (and their Jeruselem coach Merginn Moffat) today. The drunks won 4-2 to secure qualification and Jeru FC fell back to 4th spot after Kenavt won their game. Kenavt are two points ahead of our Cannons and have the advantage.

If Kenavt beat Deep South Sopia way then Jeru FC cannot make the finals. If Deep South Sopia force a draw or actually win, then there's hope for our Jeru FC. For Jeru FC, it's win at all costs time. Jeru FC also play away like Kenavt, against Oiseaui.

Should Kenavt and Jeru FC win then both teams are locked on 24 points each. On match day 4, Jeru FC beat Kenavt 2-1 and one match day eleven, they repeated the feat 2-1. This means on head to head, Jeru FC should qualify. But this all means Kenavt have to not win their game and Jeru FC must win. Remember Jeru FC are not Jeruselem. Jeruselem are on a big winning streak in the 2nd half of qualification while Jeru FC are on a two game losing streak but they played the big guns the SLANI and the SNers last two games.

Merginn's team hammered Jeru FC in the first half of the game leading 4-0. The young kids didn't handle situation and allowed the SNers to dominate the game from the start. The poor coach from Myedvedeya whose home team is last in Group 10 with 1 win from 13 watched as SN took over the game.

Jeru FC got a visitor in the dressing before the 2nd half started. It was supposed to be Jeruselem FA president Dazza Dallas but she couldn't make it but she sent her granddaughter Matilda Dallas instead. Matilda drummed into the team what they needed to do and go out and fight! The kids ran out with some detemination but only managed to score two goals and not four.

The Jeru FC coach was impressed with the team's efforts late but berated his teams efforts in the first half which lead to the loss. What Jeru FC ideally want is the Deep South Sopia to transform into Valanora and beat Kenavt and for Jeru FC to become Jeruselem and smash Oiseaui. Of course, this is not going to happen and we can't legally switch the Jeru FC and Jeruselem teams around for one day.

To give our army kids some motivation, Matilda Dallas is flying to Oiseaui with the team to give them more support. Jeru FC has been undersupported mainly due to most of their supports being army people who don't travel overseas a lot to watch football apart from incidental Jeruselem supporters around. The army team need your support with the Princesses secure in their group.

SN coach Merginn Moffat offered the Jeru FC team his support for their next game as he wants to see both Jeruselem teams in the finals. Jeru FC and SN have much in common and he said it was sad to see a fellow SN-like team not make the finals of the World Cup. Of course, he did his job for SN today against Jeru FC which is what we would expect of him. Former Jeru FC coach and current Princesses Ryan Greenly coach also hoped his former team can qualify. Jeru FC have lost 4 games - all losses were to SN and the SLANI. On form, then Jeru FC should not lose but this time a draw would mean no finals football and another Cup of Harmony.

THE ROCKET REPORT

EXCITEMENT SOLVES NOTHING

Pocono City, Newmanistan- The match between the Rockets and the Warriors last night was one of the most entertaining games that we have seen in the Empire’s World Cup qualifying history. So entertaining, that you wonder that if the Empress was watching (and she was not at the Stadium), that she probably could have been made a believer again. But excitement was not what the Rockets were after. A victory would have met likely qualification. A loss would have eliminated us. A draw would be complicated. A draw, and a Miroxia upset win over Septentrionia would create the most complicated scenario. The result of the day: A draw and a Miroxia win over Septentrionia. Even though the government of Miroxia has abandoned the country and it’s a short ways away from ceasing to exist (OOC: Note Miroxia’s region’s message board where he declares he isn’t returning to NS), their players continue to be pesky in this tournament. Empress Jessica is a saint next to that.

There were some arrests to report, more for a demostration that occurred outside the Royal Palace. It was a smaller protest of about 40 people, and when they began throwing cell phones at the windows of the palace, the police had to break it up. Steve Baker, 38, of Pocono City explains why they threw cell phones at the palace, “It was our way of telling the Empress that we are still supporting our teams. One of the first things that we are going to do is support the new sponsor of the team, Samseong, and we have already got new phones from them so we tossed our old phones at the windows of the Palace. I would encourage all Newmanistanians to do the same thing.” The Rocket Report, however, does not encourage that kind of behavior. Tossing your cell phone at the palace is a crime, and it is very simple for the former owner of the phone to be identified. Outside the stadium, the protests remained peaceful with the holding of anti-Empress signs the method of choice. The security presence in the nation’s capital, as expected, was huge, twice as big as it had been in Loudon. One fan, Lauren Kelly of Riverside, a nearby city explains, “I support the protestors but I just wasn’t in the mood to protest today. This game is very important to our team and the players need to have us behind them 100%.”

Milchama, ranked number ten in the world, has not had the greatest qualifying effort, but like Newmanistan, they have played very good football during the second half of qualifying to put themselves in a position to where they may get in anyway. There were no banana’s or Bugsy Borkers (thankfully) on the team. But there were some very historic names out there on the pitch. Avi Belmowitz and Marc J. Floren, Milchaman legends graced the field, and for a day perhaps Jeremy McAllister was not the most prolific goal scorer on the pitch. Even Dunston Copperlee and Silas Milckay were out there. How this has happened, we are not sure, but there are some aging Newmanistanian players who would love to know how it did so that they could prolong their World Cup careers. Perhaps it just took these big names a little while to get comfortable with once again playing World Cup level football. The early moments of the game saw some hard-nosed football as both teams wanted to get the early edge very badly and were doing everything they could to possibly get it. This resulted in the ball being in midfield for much of the first 15 minutes, but simply because neither team could outmuscle the other. In the 18th, the first real good chance of the match went to the Rockets as Jeremy McAllister set up Brett Carlson for a nice header attempt, but Clay Finton came up with the save. Moments later, it would be the Warriors having a great chance, from Belmowitz, that was turned aside by Chris Kusler. Now with the teams beginning to get their chances, a goal somewhere was going to be inevitable even though the defenders and the keepers were doing their best to keep it from happening. In the 29th minute, the first score of the match happened in a way that Warriors fans have become very used to. J.J. Faren got himself just a brief moment of separation from Alex Lampert to send in a cross to Avi Belmowitz, and Milchama’s all-time leading goal scorer added another one for the record books. The score led to many groans in the crowd because they had seen this before. Newmanistan playing a top seed well, but the top seed getting a break like this to get in front, and when they do, they normally remain in front. This time, however, Newmanistan had an answer. In the 35th minute, Kyle Carrigan was given a free kick after Chase Mergle brought him down. Instead of putting it on goal, Carrigan opted to pass over to left side of the pitch to Jennifer Vilardi as J-Mac broke down the center. This play worked pretty well as it served its purpose of getting ball to McAllister. J-Mac doesn’t have the same kind of world reputatin that Avi Belmowitz may have, but either way, he scored the 104th interregional goal of his career to tie this contest up at one. The fans erupted in cheers, maybe this game could be a little different. At halftime, we had a 1-1 score, with the best of the action still yet to come.

Brian Carson was aware that his team was leaving it all out there on the field and he had no problem with the lack of effort. Most in the stands seemed to realize that as well. What Carson needed to do was find a way to get the Rockets to be able to get a little bit more out of their skills. The best way to do this, in his opinion, was to play Alex Parnett up closer to the forwards, and Kyle Carrigan would not return for the second half. He was a little sore from the Mergle tackle and Brett Prescott campaigned to have a shot at him. Carson agreed that putting his enforcer and rough tackler out there against Mergle could create an additional level of excitement.

The second half began much like the first half did. It would have only appeared conservative to the not as knowledgeable fan, but the only reason so much play was in midfield was because each team was playing extremely well. And it did not take long for Mr. Prescott and Mr. Mergle to meet. Prescott sought him out and while the referee wasn’t looking gave Mergle a shove in the back. Chase seemed a little stunned more because he couldn’t believe someone would have the audacity to do that to him. Then he saw the number, and if he was up on the Rockets roster, he should know about Brett’s reputation. Moments after Mergle went after Prescott and shoved him back, leading to a verbal argument. The referee pulled some yellow out of his pocket for both players in the 54th minute. As that calmed down, soon after it appeared as though Milchama had won the argument, not because of Mergle but because of two quick goals that deflated that home crowd. In the 58th minute, Darian Flinters set up Floren in the box to make it 2-1, and five minutes later, Floren quickly picked up his second goal of the match, thanks to a nice cross again by J.J. Faren, to make it 3-1 in favor of the Warriors. 27 minutes away from the end of the game, the fans were left to think about another failed attempt to qualify. In the 68th, they got on their feet a bit as Mergle and Prescott against got together, this time because Prescott leveled Mergle with an aggressive tackle in which the defender did not appreciate, and a skirmish broke out between the two of them. The referee had red cards for the both of them, and we were playing 10-aside. Prescott left to a standing ovation as many Newmanistanians figured this would be the last qualifying game the 39-year old would ever have due to the red and imminent suspension for the Miroxia match. But with Mergle out, suddenly the Warriors backfield was more vulnerable, and Carson looked to exploit this by adding more speed to the lineup as he substituted Shawn Drummond in for Dale Stevens. Now the Rockets would have all their top scoring threats out there to try and overcome this deficit. In the 74th minute, the Rockets were able to cut the lead to one. We have gotten used to seeing Alex Parnett set up J-Mac with a great pass, but this time it was the other way around, and Parnett being the recipient and getting the goal. But would it be too little too late? The Rockets kept on fighting, and again with using Parnett further up the field then they were used to, they exploited some mismatches in the Mergle-less Milchama backfield. Parnett would get another huge goal, this set up by Brett Carlson and in the 81st minute, unbelievably, this match was tied up, 3-all. Fans who didn’t leave early were going crazy as the Rockets were going to force a draw. So crazy, that they all didn’t notice the great long ball that Billy Timmons delivered into the attacking end for the Warriors almost immediately. Avi Belmowitz got to the ball and beat Kusler to his left, and just like that, in the 83rd, the comeback wasn’t going to matter. 4-3 Milchama, the kind of goal that a championship caliber, top-ten ranked team always seems to get when they need it most. The crowd silenced, but the Rockets still had time. They had to find a way, somehow. An 89th minute rush up the field led to a corner kick that Jennifer Vilardi would line up. The defense pinched up. Milchama keyed in on McAllister and Carlson, but the corner seemed to overshoot the leading scorers. But really it didn’t, it’s intended target, Shawn Drummond, was right on it, and only had one man, Silas Milckey, on him. Drummond, criticized all World Cup 43 for his lack of finishing skills, such problems in which put him on the bench, took the header. The keeper got a hand to the ball to keep it from going out, but the rebound was there, and there for Alex Parnett, who completed his hat trick in a most dramatic fashion. The match was tied again. 4-4! This is where it would end.

All that made for a great game, and fitting as the fans who remained in the stadium went crazy. Afterwards, Brian Carson made announcement to the 7000 fans that were still in the stadium, and did not give up when the team was losing. The team would have a post-game autograph session for them, and only them. It was symbolic he said in his announcement, “The Empress gave up on us. We battled back. So many fans gave up on us coming back in this game. You didn’t! We battled back, and we wish to do this to say thank you!” We heard there were Samseong executives at this match, intently watching the team they chose to sponsor. What they saw was the fighting spirits of the Cardiac Rockets.

Up next, Miroxia on the road. Miroxia is in a much worse domestic situation, if you can believe it when a governmental announcement that they were completely abandoning the country to the point that they were going to allow it to no longer exist. Like the Rockets, their players have risen up tremendously in the face of all that as they wish to have one final great moment for the country and will perhaps, end up on international teams as well. Newmanistan must win the match. And doing so by as many goals as possible would be nice because goal differential will be the ultimate tiebreaker with Milchama now, and right now said differential is tied between the teams. If it remains tied, Newmanistan gets the tiebreaker on the goals scored category. Milchama plays Septentrionia.

STATEMENT FROM THE SDOS

With one game of qualifying left to go, the Secristan Department of Sports has decided to make a public statement prior to the big match with Peisandros. With Secristan’s stunning loss to Cassadaigua in the lacrosse tournament, eliminating the Millionaires, there could be bigger interest in this match then what we had thought. In an address, the president of the SDOS, mister Shawn Robertson made a very a rare appearance from his mansion in Lakeland with his newest luxury yacht noticeable in the background. Normally Robertson would have his subordinates make this kind of statement so the simple presence of him on the television screen made everyone know that what he was about to say was very important. It was no secret that the SDOS had failed to reach it’s financial goals for World Cup 44 qualifying. Mr. Robertson’s statement:

“World Cup 44 qualifying finishes today as our players get set to take Peisandros. For us this is not an important match but for our opponent they will be looking to get at least a point. World Cup 44 qualifying is not something that the nation of Secristan will look back on very fondly. With two wins in thirteen games, with just seven goals in those games, this will be nothing more then a bad dream. This will not continue. This will be the last game coached by Paul Nolan and none of his assistants will be brought back. None of the players, with the exception of those who played for us in the 7th Di Bradini Cup will be allowed to represent Secristan again. We will go to Cup of Harmony 36 with our Di Bradini roster. Those players gave us greatness and even though they will be younger then everyone they play against, we believe that they are true Millionaires who know how special it is to wear the green and white. When it comes time for bidding for World Cup 45 qualifying spots, midfielders and forwards will be required to be highly offensive minded. We will no longer be a boring defensive team. We will score goals. We will never have three scoreless draws in one qualifying effort again if there is anything that I can do to help it!”

“The SDOS has decided to offer an apology to all of our fans who purchased at least one of the scoreless draws during the qualifying campaign. You will receive the Secristan versus Peisandros match for free as well as the friendly with Cassadaigua, and One Cup of Harmony game of your choice. Those who purchased of the two scoreless draws will receive the above plus a second Cup of Harmony game free, and those who purchased all of the scoreless draws will receive what is the most gracious offer that I can remember making in a long time. You will receive the entire Cup of Harmony for free. I hope that this gesture can show that the Secristan Department of Sports does indeed care about our viewers and that do make a reasonable to make sure that you are getting your rusa’s worth when you make this kind of a purchase. I ask for all of your to support or team against Peisandros so that maybe we can win a third game. Should this game end in a scoreless draw as well, we will give the above plus one game of the International Basketball Championships to those qualify for it, for free.”

"...surely, Father, you are pleased with our victory over Docky? Solid win against low-ranked opponents; always in control; top of the group; qualification in sight after a rocky start to the campaign..."

"Alas, Innocent my son, it gives me no pleasure to defeat those who like Docky. Why should we take pleasure in defeating the weak?"

"But we must defeat the weak to achieve qualification."

"Yes, but what is qualification? Is it a desirable goal? Is it Orthodox or Christian?
Harken unto me: the skill of a certain coach brought forth results plentifully: and he thought within himself, saying,
'What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my trophies?'
And he said, 'This will I do: I will put up trophy halls, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my trophies.
And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry.'
But God said unto him, 'Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided?'
So is he that layeth up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God."

"Truly you are wise, oh Father. So what is it you wish us to do? Throw the last match?"

"Alas, my son, we have already qualified. But perhaps we shouldn't try too hard to get out of the first round."

The contrast in the locker room after the final training session in Woodstock could not be more striking.

Manager Brian Wilson ducked out after addressing the team briefly in an effort to hide how anxious he was about facing the world's No. 1 ranked team away in a must-win situation. He stayed up half the night considering lineup changes, tactics changes, you name it. He was desperate to pull off a monumental upset of Valanora, the two-time defending world champions and winners of three of the last four World Cups.

However, many of the players, especially goalkeeper Cody Taylor, were as loose as they ever have been. They'd just seen Zack Wilson, Brian's son and a starting forward when he's healthy, visit the locker room for the first time since tearing his anterior cruciate ligament in training. He was recovering fast, not fast enough to earn a spot in the starting 11, but much faster than anyone had a right to expect.

Speaking of loose, new assistant manager Chris Hannan was much more relaxed than he'd been at any time as head coach of Rymeria. Gone was the need to worry about "space lag." Gone was the tension at Rymeria's training facility from dealing with the worst micromanagers he'd ever heard of. Gone was the prospect of coaching a side that had no clue for a planet that had no history of soccer.

Granted, Sarzonia was also now an unranked side, but they at least had history. In a way, that could be even worse than coaching a side that had never even played an international match before this World Cup began. The weight of expectations could wear down most teams in that situation.

But these Sarzonian supporters seemed to understand their situation. The fact Sarzonia had a winning record and still had an outside chance at advancing on the final matchday of World Cup qualifying was a cause for celebration. They knew their away record was a dismal 1-4-2. They knew they might have had a better chance at pulling off the historic upset if the match had been at Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium. But the standing ovation Stars supporters gave their side after despatching Liventia 3:0 told them what they had accomplished in Group 2 was a feat in itself.

"Brian," Hannan said as he walked into the manager's office. "You look as uptight as I've ever seen you."

"I am," Brian Wilson admitted. "We've got to win this match outright and get help if we are to make it to the World Cup Finals."

"Brian," Hannan said. "I have a question. Did anyone realistically expect us to make it this far? Did anyone think we'd face a must-win away to Valanora for the right to advance?"

"Um, no?"

"That's right," Hannan said. "I know I haven't been in a position to watch your every match from another planet," he said, drawing a chuckle from Brian Wilson, "but I'd say you've done a rather amazing coaching, uh, I mean managing job to even have this team in that position. Granted, you may not enjoy losing the two points against O Ale Ale, but the fact we're playing for the World Cup instead of for pride speaks volumes about you and about this team.

"I think Sarzonia has a bright future. Otherwise, I don't think I'd have accepted this position as readily as I did. Think about it: You defeated the world's 11th ranked side in just your second World Cup qualifying match as the team's manager. You played to two draws against the world's 34th ranked side. You played to a draw against the world's number one ranked side already."

"But that means they're going to be more wary against us," Brian Wilson countered.

"So what? We've got nothing to lose. That's got to be our mentality for this match. We're in a position most unranked sides would kill to be in. Win, get some help and we're in. If we don't win, we weren't expected to advance anyway. Either way, you've done a coaching job worthy of your father's best efforts."

Finally, Brian Wilson smiled. He recalled Dave Wilson's coaching exploits. A Cup of Harmony. A World Cup trophy. Two AOCAF championships, including one with Hypocria. Two Dragon Invitational championships. To have his managing skills compared to his father's was the biggest compliment Brian Wilson could have heard.

"Perhaps you're right, Chris," Brian Wilson said. "Any idea about some sightseeing opportunities in Valanora?"

"Your guess is as good as mine. I've still got to pack up for my move from another planet, remember?" Both men shared a laugh at that. But in the meantime, the team prepared for its departure for Valanora about as relaxed as any team facing a must-win situation could be expected to be.

They may not win the match against Valanora. In fact, they might lose by historic margins. But they were going to have fun no matter what.

(Players get together in the hotel meeting early in the morning of the Miroxia match)

Brooker: I picked up one of those complimentary papers expecting them to talk about the game, but instead it’s this “One week to Armageddon.”

McAllister: What’s that all about?

Lampert: I read that article it seems as though in a week they are afraid that this country is just going to disappear from the planet. Apparently governmental officials took everything of worth out of the country weeks ago and basically gave their people a giant “F- you!”

Parnett: I didn’t know the Empress had friends that were in control of Miroxia.

Lampert: It’s killed the mood of the country towards the World Cup, even though they are doing very well and have us in this must win game with them.

Brooker: One last stand then. One last moment of greatness for the country but no Samseong to save them, they don’t sponsor entire countries.

McAllister: It almost makes you want to feel sorry for their players.

Parnett: Yeah well, I will tell you this. I want to go to Candelaria And Marquez. You all know I play for Albrecht Turkish so to play in the World Cup there would be such an honor. The last thing I want to see if a bunch of people who’s country is going to disappear in a week to keep me from going there.

Carlson: Guys I have a question, is it possible for the end of the world for Miroxia to come early, like when we are here, and for us to be affected?

Lampert: That is a good question, Brett. According to the article, the nation has nothing to worry about in their final week of existence. So while we are here, we will be safe.

Brooker: If government leaders came back the country could be saved, right?

Lampert: It would be, but that they are long gone. They left a note for other countries of the region basically saying they were goners, somehow the paper got a hold of the note.

McAllister: Well I guess it is too bad, and maybe it goes to show that no matter how things may look for us, we should be glad that we will still have a country to go back too.

Brooker: It’s all pretty settled at home now as far as we are concerned. The only reason why it’s still in the news is because you have people now trying to use it as the basis to form some kind of coup against the Empress.

Parnett: Would you want to see Newmanistan be a democracy?

McAllister: No. I hate to say it.

Brooker: Me either, all democracy does is lead to corrupt politicians in office with elections where the person with the most money wins or the biggest sweet talker of the election wins.

Carlson: I suggest we stop talking about this. Some of us could have very different opinions here and I wouldn’t us to start arguing over it on the morning of our big game.

McAllister: Good point, Brett. No more mentions of it, everyone.

Parnett: True.

Brooker: Here he comes, finally. Hey coach what took you so long?

Carson: Continental breakfast line was long, these people act is if all of the sudden the country is going to vanish in a week the way they eat.

Parnett: Yeah I noticed that too.

Carson: Well everyone listen up. We all know what today means and I believe that we will do what we needs to get done, but I do want to pass along something to all of you.

(Players listen)

Carson: I received an e-mail from Samseong, key executives were at our game with Milchama. They were very pleased with the performance that we put in even though it was only a draw.

Brooker: That’s good to know.

Carlson: Yeah I agree they are our future.

Carson: They expressed a lot of optimism towards us for World Cup 45 as the sponsorship officially begins then I believe. They were happy to see the fan support, since that is what is most important for both our interests and their business interests. Congratulations, we made a great impression.

McAllister: That’s great but I think we all know that there’s a little something more that we would like to do for them and make this World Cup. There’d be nothing better for the sponsorship if it went in on that high of a note. We’re playing great football right now and we can feel this.

Brooker: We’re so close again right now, let’s make this ours. Everything we said before the Milchama match still applies even though we are in Miroxia now. We still make the Empress look like a fool if we advance to the World Cup. Beat Miroxia, by a few, and we’re in.

Carson: That’s important. We do have think about goal differentials, so we must stay aggressive at all times. But it must be a smart, responsible aggressive. There’s a few things I want to go over, so it’s time for that. (Coach goes into a long strategic lecture).


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Count Han Seungsu,

Good morning, I have just received your letter. Understanding the importance of all imperial traditions, I would be honored to participate in any way in a formal ceremony that can serve as the starting point towards great relations between Newmanistan and your great Empire. Such relations will be mutually beneficial for all parties involved. We welcome any and all Han-based businesses to Newmanistan as that will only further strengthen the quality of life within our borders, and I am confident that many Newmanistanian companies will accept the invitation to expand their markets to the Han. Together, it will be a prosperous relationship. I am always trying to look out for the best interests of my people and without question, this will be. I look forward to meeting you at some point in the near future.

With welcoming arms,
Empress Jessica

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

To: Samseong Board of Directors
From: Putnam Lake Tourism
Re: Thank you!

We would like to formally extend our thanks for your selection of Putnam Lake for the establishment of your soon-to-come Newmanistanian headquarters. With this, we can further promote our city as being the heart of the national football team. We know that you have made a great decision, but recognize that it was a difficult one and the eventual setting up of shop will require a lot of time and effort. If there is anything that the board of tourism can do to make that process easier, please do not hesitate to ask. Again welcome to Putnam Lake and here's a long and profitable relationship!

Sincerely,
Putnam Lake Board of Tourism

Purple Knights Fate To Be Decided In Ironic Fashion

Just last year the Purple Knights faced West Zirconia in the Cup Of Harmony final. The Knights would go on to win the game by,i believe, a 2-1 scoreline. Know just a year later the Knights will again take on West Zirconia in one of there biggest games ever. the game will decide the fate, mostly, of the two teams. The other game that will help decide it is wether Sasrzonia defeats Valanora. With a win the Stars would qualify. But chances of that are slim, so start getting ready for a big night.

(from the ‘Sports’ section of ’The Bear Necessities’…)


BOTHERSOME BRIGHTONBURGERS BAFFLE BELLES

Brightonburg 3 - 3 Bears Armed

The team from Brightonburg was always seen as a bit of a 'wild card' in this group, because its total lack of any trans-regional experience (it not even having participated in the 'Baptism of Fire') meant that it had no ranking at all in the international association's tables: Some people claimed that that lack of experience would make the Brightonburgers easy meat for their opponents, but others pointed to the nation's history of sporting activities at the regional level and suggested that its Soccer players might be a lot more of a challenge than that 'un-ranked' status implied... and it was the latter that were proven right. The Brightonburgers did quite well during the early stages of these qualifiers, although the Belle-Bears did manage a reasonably convincing victory (2-1) over them when they came to Plumtrees Park, and even managed to triumph over top-seeded Cafundeu which was better than the Belles could achieve against those opponents. However by the time of yesterday's match they had slid several places down the group from their highest position, from fourth to seventh, and had been the second team (after our friends from Myedvedeya) to be eliminated from hope of qualification. Our team, most of our fans, and --I'll admit it here -- I myself, therefore expected the second encounter between the Belles and the Brightonburgers, even though it was an 'away' game, to be a fairly easy win for our girls.

So what happened?

Seemingly unperturbed by having lost their way to the World Cup, the Brightonburgers had regained much of their previous form: The Belles played very well indeed, but the Brightonburgers simply played better than them.
It was rather a strange game, as the Brightonburgers almost completely monopolised possession of the ball during the first half--which was when they scored all three of their goals--but then turtled-up for the second half and let the Belles have uncontested possession for most of that period.
Half-time saw not only that change in Brightonburger strategy but also some changes in the Belles' line-up: Harroya 'of the Rovers' o Redwood (#32) was brought on as Centre Forward in place of Beorra o Barrdenn (#7), as is almost a tradition when the team's losing like that, whilst Charra o Barrdenn (#1) replaced Urra Thunder (#14) in goal. Still, even with those changes, the best that the Belles could do was equalise...



Goals
Brightonburg = 3: Cristman (#7) [14], Dube (#11) [28], Cristman (#7) [42]
(Possession = 51%; ‘Shots on Goal’ = 9, 7 of which were in the first half)

Bears Armed = 3: o Redwood (#32) [50], SunDaughter (#8) [61], o Redwood (#32) [87].
(Possession = 49%; ‘Shots on Goal’ = 6, all in the second half)

Cards
Brightonburg: ---------
Bears Armed: ---------

Injuries
Brightonburg: ---------
Bears Armed: ----------


(Full report inside, on page S-3…)


_____________________________________________________

Marra SunDaughter is explaining the situation to Urra 'Honey' SunBlessed_

"So if the Blouman Empire win their final qualifier, which is against the tough opposition of 'Yafor 2', then they go through to the World Cup; but if they lose or draw, and we win our match against IseeRussiafrommyhouse, then wego forwards, instead of them."
"And if they lose their match, but we only draw ours?"
"Then if Prux wins their[/i] match, against Myedvedeya[/i], they get that World Cup place... Otherwise it's still between the Bloumanges and ourselves, we'd be equal on head-to-heads (if they're calculated as I think is the case) as well as points, they've got a better goal-differnece than us... They'd have to lose by at least 5 goals..."

Unranked Sides Comparison

(Sorted by points, then wins, then goal differential. Comparison includes group standing, goal differential, and week eliminated from World Cup finals contention)


Group Team P W D L F A GD Pts Elim
2 Sarzonia 13 4 6 3 20 18 +2 18 --
1 The Doobie Brothers 13 4 2 7 24 33 -9 14 13
9 Quintessence of Dust 13 4 2 7 16 27 -11 14 12
5 Euro Federations 13 3 3 7 11 17 -6 12 12
8 East Pocono 13 1 6 6 2 9 -7 9 12
5 Rymeria 13 2 2 9 13 27 -14 8 10
3 Bactrian Camels 13 1 4 8 4 18 -14 7 12
6 St. Samuel 13 1 4 8 12 28 -16 7 9
2 O Ale Ale 13 2 1 10 7 26 -19 7 12
4 Oiseaui 13 2 0 11 15 32 -17 6 11
7 Draistania 13 1 3 9 17 30 -13 6 11
10 Brightonburg 13 1 2 10 11 32 -21 5 12
9 Alex Ruined Hallelujah 13 0 0 13 9 30 -21 0 9

Note: No matchday elimination is listed for Sarzonia because the Stars remain mathematically alive for a World Cup qualifying berth.

CUTOFF, for the last time this qualification campaign!

There you go! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=14409264&posted=1#post14409264)

News: Citizens surprised that country still can qualify for the world cup

Elections happened in Urna Eletrônica in the last year, in fact fifty-four elections happened in the last year, to decide things from which would be the country’s national colour to the name of the new president of the nation, so the amount of elections consumed the citizens’ available time, and they weren’t able to follow anything else than politics, that’s why most of the country’s people didn’t know that Urna Eletrônica’s team was playing so well in the world cup qualifiers, and still has qualifying chances.

In the last campaign, Urna Eletrônica had qualifying chances in the last matchday, but ended losing the place in the world cup, something that the politicians-players aren’t willing to do again, as they have promised to build many facilities for the poor people if the country didn’t qualify, something that they hate to do, and that’s why the players, the coach Deodoro, who is quiet as ever, and the assistants of the players, who also participate in their election campaigns, want this world cup qualification, to make the people happy without having to spend the public money, as these politicians want this public money for themselves, not to be invested in something public.

For this last game, the coach Deodoro refused to say anything, but it seems that the team will use the same formation as ever using the same players as starters, in order to defeat the opponents in the last matchday and get the dreamed world cup qualification, something that isn’t so close to us, but it isn’t so far away. It is something possible, and, in their last speeches, our players-politicians promised that will get this qualification for us, and we must believe in them, don’t we?


News: Opereta will end its campaign that had ups and downs

From the subway stations from Caixa Dois, the players representing the Opereta area don’t have qualification chances, and will end their world cup campaign in the next game, a campaign that wasn’t successful, but had some good moments, as the surprising victory over Qazox, which lead the group, something that shocked the opponents, who were faced by the players’ ability to play in narrow spaces, shooting when it seemed impossible, and winning this victory that is already in the history of the Opereta area and the whole Caixa Dois subway system.

The players, originally miserable people who lived inside the subway stations of Caixa Dois, are now professional players, and maybe they can now get enough money to buy one or two subway tickets to be able to transport from one place to another, including the official stadium of Opereta, the abandoned warehouse close of the central station, which started to be used after the half of these qualifiers after an accident happened in the previous stadium, the biggest train of Caixa Dois’ subway system.

World Cup 44 Qualification - Group 2
MD1: 2-0 vs [42] West Zirconia (@ Munhwa Football Stadium - 65,000, Hanseong)
MD2: 0-2 @ [???] Sarzonia (@ Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium - 88,920, Woodstock)
MD3: 5-0 vs [76] Dariusville (@ Potala Palace - 34,000, Lasa)
MD4: 2-0 @ [54] Liventia (@ Colonial Stadium, Orean)
MD5: 2-0 vs [1] Valanora (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium - 200,000, Hangyeong)
MD6: 1-0 @ [34] Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colosseum - 599,000, Atlantea)
MD7: 3-0 vs [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium - 80,000, Gwangju)
MQ: 1-4 @ Sorthern Northland (@ somewhere new and special, but I haven't a clue...)
MD8: @ 4-0 [42] West Zirconia (@ Manchester Street - 85,000, Moorcroft)
MD9: 2-0 vs [???] Sarzonia (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium - 50,000, Daebo)
MD10: 3-0 @ [76] Dariusville (@ Humphra Ignhorium - 2,000, some forest in Dariusville)
MD11: 3-1 vs [54] Liventia (@ Silk Road Stadium - 56,000, Seoan)
MD12: 5-1 @ [1] Valanora (@ Hatire Memorial - 60,000, Capri)
MD13: 2-1 vs [34] Taeshan (@ Tae-majt Park - 69,000, Pyeongyang)
MD14: 3-1 @ [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ worse than in a beer bottle)
World Cup 44 - TBD



MBC World Cup Special Report
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OMFG! Han come to Environmentally Stunning but otherwise Desolate O Ale Ale, Fans forced to Survive through Win

O ALE ALE - So we're not actually in a beer bottle. It's worse than a beer bottle. The country is in complete ruin! The airport! Oh Heaven! What kind of place is this? When we arrived, there was a massive protest outside, saying that airplanes pollute the air! Not to imply that they don't, but why bother with that sort of distinction at an airport on the tarmac, where the airplane had to run over some 300 people to get to the terminal, where young hoodlums were waiting to rob the people getting off the airplane. Luckily, a number of the Han citizens arriving were able to fend off the youngsters, but not before they sprayed us with spray paint. I got a red "L" sprayed over my favorite jacket!!! Although I must confess the country is a stunning environmental paradise, there is nothing else that suggests anyone would want to live there. The city was a slum. The streets were composed of a thousand beggars lining up, begging for money, stealing money, begging for money stolen money, stealing money begged from others, begging for money stolen from others begging, stealing money begged from others stealing from other begging... I think that was as complicated as the economic system got, mostly because everything else was outlawed. Although that lemonade stand at the stadium was the one exception...

There weren't any hotels in O Ale Ale. Not even beer, although there were people brewing something that wasn't beer. So where do you stay in O Ale Ale? Well, the local convention says to steal it from someone else, and that's precisely what we did. It's preferable to stay with a group, so you can have others help you out when assaulted by a large group of hoodlums armed with sticks, stones, and spray cans (at least there wasn't any smacking of guns). We tried to steal some food, but everything was made of soy and lentils; where was the rice? You can't make rice out of soy and lentils! Well, you could try and ultimately fail. We wanted to open protest, but on account that we were Imperial subjects, we opted to just stay low until the situation could improve.

Well, speaking of improving, the Han got a good 3-1 win over O Ale Ale, to seal the top spot. Sarzonia, needing a win to qualify, managed only a thrilling 3-3 draw against Valanora while Taeshan sealed all doubt over their ability to qualify with a 2-0 win over West Zirconia. And so your World Cup 44 qualifying teams from Group 2 are now Daehanjeiguk, Valanora, and Taeshan. In fact, this whole World Cup Qualifying has been one weird mess of scandals (okay, not really... although that weird operatic episode between West Zirconia and Valanora was weird), with a number of almost qualified teams nearly double the average (of what we suspect it to be... ask your local mathematician for the true story).

And it was a game in O Ale Ale where the defense shone out brilliantly. Kim Daeeui was away on club assignment (where he and his team reportedly missed out on the TQCC Final because they let in one too many goals...), so we were left with Jeong Jihun and Pak Gyuseon. Well, call me a monkey's uncle's pet aardvark's lazy pansy but they weren't worth much out there on the pitch. Yi Beomsuk made the first goal off a 16th minute drive, in what Han fans were expecting to be a walk-over exercise; instead, O Ale Ale got a goal back and started to play around with the defense. Jeong Jihun apparently got hit in the face with a spray can, but as the O Ale Ale police were virtually non-existent, the fans were left to fighting in the stands against the hostiles. Yes, for the first time in the history of Han football, the fans started fighting because they were defending their team from the opposition's fans. And for the first time, the riots that started were not crushed by the police. And as there were not enough Imperial agents to control the scene, the riots took a life of their own, as the Han fans played out a ruthless campaign of "STOP THROWING YOUR %$#^ AT ME" against the O Ale Ale hoodlums. Despite the win on and off the field, reinforcements from the city came just as the game ended (Kim Yongji got the other two goals just before and just after the break - not that you needed to know that...) and forced the Imperial Team to evacuate the city as soon as theyy left the field. Thankfully, there were no guns involved (I think there are anti-gun laws in place... either that or they forgot they had them), and the tossing of spray cans lit with matches continued. Of course, no one ever told them that spray cans explode when lit, so that helped us a little bit...

But the Han fans were likewise forced to evacuate aboard the last flight out of O Ale Ale. And I'd like to say that we got out with everyone, but it was such a harsh fight that we who escaped were glad to have left that barbaric (yet environmentally stunning) country. I can only hope that the Emperor gets out-raged and bombs the patooties out of that place (after he gets all of our citizens back, of course...).

Oh, let's hope we never go back to O Ale Ale again.


=== === ===

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紐滿重生大王國
뉴만중생대왕국

To Her Serene Majesty, Empress Jessica of Newmanistan:

On behalf of myself, I must clarify when I said ceremony. I did not actually mean any sort of formal engagment between our two peoples. As a nation will exist whether His Imperial Majesty's Academy of Foreign Affairs recognizes it or not, the ceremony of recognition is merely an induction of your Han name into our Imperial records. As such, the ceremony is more the characters that you see at the top of this letter to you. This - until otherwise noted - shall be your official national name in the Han Empire, pronounced "nyu-man-jung-saeng-dae-wang-guk" in the Imperial dialect. "Nyu-man" is a transliteration of "Newman" (at least in the most appropriate pronunciation that we could ascribe from your nation's title...) - the two characters by themselves mean "tie" or "knot" (紐|뉴), and "full" or "satisfaction" (滿|만) - poetically, we could say your country is with "bound satisfaction". The "jung-saeng" means "double life", a reference to your Reborn Empire (which is the final appellation - "dae-wang-guk").

If you seek any further information of your nation's title, please contact me again. I hope that this letter clarifies any confusion that you may have had over my previous statements. Nonetheless, if you do wish to visit the Han Empire, I am able to make official arrangements for your visit. Just let me know and I can inform the Emperor of your wishes.

Most reverently,

Count Han Seungsu
韓昇洙伯

ooc: I wasn't kidding when I said I made you a name...[/QUOTE]

With eight minutes remaining until full time, Sarzonia rallied from a 2:0 halftime deficit and took an improbable 2:3 lead courtesy of a shock substitution of forward Zack Wilson.

Wilson, son of manager Brian Wilson, convinced the team's trainers and his father that he was ready to play at least 30 minutes despite nursing a torn anterior cruciate ligament. In an effort to get two goals, the Stars manager decided to gamble. He inserted Zack in favour of defender Spencer Hicks, both to keep Hicks from drawing a second yellow card and to get offence onto the pitch.

That 74th minute substitution enlivened the Stars, who almost immediately went on the attack. Zack Wilson won possession from a surprised Espy va Drake, then started the Sarzonian counter attack. In the 80th minute, forward Matt Lynch sent a cross for the head of fellow starting forward Reese Nichols. His bid was punched out by goalkeeper Amarian Tinehtelë, but Wilson pounced on the rebound and slammed it into the net. The goal gave Sarzonia the 2:3 lead and quieted a sold out crowd of Valanoran supporters.

With the end of injury time fast approaching, however, Valanora managed to equalise, catching goalkeeper Cody Taylor napping as he sent a lazy pass toward defender and team captain Ben Davis. Calla Soler stole possession and perfectly lofted a ball over Taylor's head and into the goal. Before Davis could race in to fetch the ball and send it back toward the centre circle, the final whistle sounded.

The contrast between the two sides was evident. Valanora's players barely celebrated, knowing they nearly lost to an unranked side in front of their supporters. Meanwhile, the Stars players sat dejected on the pitch, their dreams of advancing to the World Cup finals in their first competition in 13 Cups having ended on the boot of Soler. They lost out on the three-way tie for the third and final playoff position in the World Cup.

It would take a couple of days before Brian Wilson could look back on his side's surprising run toward a World Cup finals appearance that came up one point short. His team would certainly rue a goalless draw against fellow unranked side O Ale Ale, but to have an opportunity to advance at their feat when nothing was expected was a phenomenal feat.

"We may have played our last international match," Brian Wilson told Woodstock Daily Mail reporter Travis West, not knowing if his team would be invited to the Cup of Harmony, "but to come within one point of advancing in our first go is a major accomplishment."

Sarzonia (4-7-3, 19 points, fifth place Group 2) may not be going to the World Cup finals, but it served notice to the world that it would not be a doormat for long. And, Sarzonia finished without a losing record in World Cup qualifying once again. For an unranked side expected to take its lumps with a "thank you, sir, may I please have another?" it certainly dished out a few lumps of its own.

'Damn that Alex' though Juan Tzimisces, cursing himself for not foreseeing how her superior record sales might cancel the superior artistry of any number of Cohens, Buckleys, Cales, Langs, and Wainwrights on the field of play. Why hadn't the oneirologists picked that one up?

Still, he admitted to himself with quiet satisfaction, top of the group wasn't too bad. The Imperial media may not have followed the campaign with their usual enthusiasm this time around, but the squad had certainly proved to a few doubters that they could play.

Especially in the second Nethertopia match. It was a long time since the Empire had thrashed a side 6-1. Who would have thought that the Nethertopians would have had such... sordid nightmares.

Tzimisces shuddered.

It was going to be a long, long time before the Nethertopian squid thing, born out of their opponents collective subconscious, was banished from his thoughts. Those writhing tentacles, the supperating flesh oozing that foul dank substance from every pore, the twin glistening eyes, the bizarre trans-species sexual appetites... No wonder the Nethertopians lost 6-1; with nightmares like that, they deserved to.

Juan was still worried about Simeone though. His old friend seemed drained by the qualification campaign. He hadn't even left the dressing room for the second half of the Nethertopia match (though could he honestly blame him?). Juan was still hoping ISPI would dig out a few mundies to keep Simeone happy.

Maybe his old friend was simply homesick. Could it be that a quick visit back to Starblaydia would do the trick?

Maybe.

He resolved to ask someone in HEFA whether a visit to Starblaydia could arrange. That would surprise a few people back in Ordinary Reality who thought Di Bradini was dead....

Dancougar News!! Road Report
"Go Steelers Go Eagles Turnpike Super Bowl" ~signs on I-76

Wings top group after Qazox rout: Nathalie Dansen and Wesley Teahen were back in the lineup in Yuki City, and the rust was showing. Dancougar, also with most starters returning to the lineup after coach Solomon Bilbao's World Cup auditions, built an unassailable lead early before cruising to a 4-1 win.

Dan Potts and Lyle Dylandy both scored in the opening fifteen minutes, which immediately got the crowd in full voice. The second goal, a 30-yard free kick, revealed that Dansen maybe needed a little more time to recover coming out of her pregnancy. She was slow to react to the ball, which took a late dip after clearing the wall. The first goal was just the strength of Potts, as he fought past Carl Higgens to get space for the shot.

Qazox nearly turned the game around, though, when Brittany Lopes found Michelle de Barre just behind the offside trap. De Barre was kept onside by the slow-to-retreat Casey Berber on the other end of the field, and she poked it under the diving Yuji Watanabe to make it 2-1. There were ten minutes left in the first half, and the goal seemed to shift the momentum. Qazox got the lion's share of the possession and came close to the equalizer, but Watanabe held firm. Then, in the 42nd, Dancougar got a killer blow when Shiro Furuya redirected a shot from Dylandy behind Dansen, who had moved according to the ball's original flight.

Down two goals at halftime, the Phoenix still had plenty of time. But the confidence with which Dancougar was starting to move the ball had to be piling on the pressure. The offense began to take risks, with midfielder Lopes becoming almost a fourth forward. In the 61st, Dancougar put the game out of reach with another free kick goal. Dylandy was a little closer to goal this time, but played to the same weakness Dansen showed on the first. The ball curled inside and she got off her line late once again.

The Wings finish group six play at the top of the table with twelve wins and two losses. All eyes will now be on who Solomon Bilbao chooses for his final 23-player roster.

QSPN.COM World Cup 44 Coverage

Dansen Returns and is shelled

Yuki City, Dancougar:

As stated above, Natalie Dansen returned for the first time since having her child, a 7lb 8oz girl named Denise, 5 weeks ago. She was returning to get back into playing shape, and the Black Wings took full advantage of her rustiness, scoring 2 goals in the first 15 minutes. A Michelle de Barre goal cut it to 2-1, but Dansen's layoff took its toll as she gave up another just before half to make it 3-1. In the 61st the 4 goal went in, and Raul de Olivares had seen enough, and pulled Dansen out of the match.

Despite the loss, Qazox finished the qualifying campaign with a 11-1-2 record, which was better than what most had predicted. The QFA will announce tomorrow the next Head Coach, as both Joanna Davids and Fernando Turek are still battling their ailments. Rumor has it that for the first time Qazox is looking outside of Qazox for a coach, but we've been told that before.

In other qualifying news: the World Cup welcomed: Kosovoe, Taeshan, Jeru FC, Peisandros, Kelssek, Jaseuyeon, Milchama, and Bears Armed into the final 32. of the 32, Kosovoe, Peisandros and Bears Armed (ooc: I believe its their first..) will be making thier debuts at the World Cup.

As for non-qualifiers, Green wombat and Prux were each eliminated on the final day, Prux by H2H GD, and the Wombats by a loss to Lovisa. Othe big name teams that won't be making the trip to either Kura-Pelland or Candelaria And Marquez are: Yafalonia and Bazor 2, Sarzonia (who did rather well in their first appearance in a while), Quakmybush, who miss the Cup for the first time in 32 years, and Newmanistan, who cannot seem to get over the hump.

The New Bruxen Casino has posted these early odds on winning the World Cup:

Valanora 7:3
Capitalizt SLANI 5:1
Demot 6:1
Dancougar 9:1
Kura-Pelland: 10-1
Jeruselem 10:1
Starblaydia 10:1
Cafundéu 10:1
Bostopia 12:1
Bazalonia 12:1
Wentland 12:1
Tynelia 14:1
Vephrall 14:1
The Archregimancy 14:1
Candelaria And Marquez: 15:1
Ad'ihan 17:1
Daehanjeiguk 17:1
Qazox 17:1
Yafor 2 20:1
Krytenia 20:1
The Holy Empire 20:1
Septentrionia 20:1
Milchama 20:1
Jaseuyeon 25:1
Taeshan 25:1
Sorthern Northland 30:1
Kelssek 30:1
Lovisa 40:1
Jeru FC 45:1
Kosovoe 75:1
Peisandros 75:1
Bears Armed 75:1

The Zito Zip

Peisandros lost their match,
and...so did the Wombats.
So to CoH they go.

Schedule:
MD1: Secristan D 1-1 (0-1-0)
MD2: Terreiro de Ogum W 1-0 (1-1-0)
MD3: @ Euro Federations L 1-2 (1-1-1)
MD4: Tynelia D 1-1 (1-2-1)
MD5: @ Rymeria D 2-2 (1-3-1)
MD6: Peisandros L 0-1 (1-3-2)
MD7: @ Lovisa D 1-1 (1-4-2)
MD8: @ Secristan W 1-0 (2-4-2)
MD9: @ Terreiro de Ogum D 1-1 (2-5-2)
MD10: Euro Federations W 4-1 (3-5-2)
MD11: @ Tynelia L 1-2 (3-5-3)
MD12: Rymeria W 3-0 (4-5-3)
MD13: @ Peisandros W 2-0 (5-5-3)
MD14: Lovisa L 0-2 (5-5-4)

Pruxton Globe

At the beginning, we predicted that if the Zombies earned 24 points they would qualify for the World Cup, right? They finished with 23, after a 3-1 pasting of Myedvedeya, and waited around the pitch for the other scores to be announced on the video screen.
First Came:
<FINAL: Yafor II 4-Blouman Empire 1>
and the crowd cheered.

Next came:
<Bears Armed 0-IseeRussiafrommyhouse 0 HALF>
and the crowd waited with baited breath. For the next 45 minutes, the team and the fans stared, waiting for any news.

Just when it seemed nothing would come this flashed on the Scorboard:
<FINAL: Bears Armed 1-IseeRussiafrommyhouse 0>
The crowd gasped a dying breath and Prux was scrambling to find where the next Cup of Harmony would take place.

So suprisingly, our prediction was accurate. IF Prux had just gotten 1 more point (the Iseerussiafrommyhouse loss at home, or the draw at Brightonburg seem to be the point(s) we lost that we should have had), then Prux would establish itself amongst the world's best, as very few teams qualify for 3 consecutive World Cups with a KPB ranking in the mid-40's.

The schedule is this: (along with our Predictions for the Zombies)
Game 1: @ Yafor 2 LOST 0-2
Game 2: vs. Cafundeu LOST 1-2
Game 3: vs. Bears Armed WIN 3-2
Game 4: vs. Iseerussiafrommyhouse LOST 1-2
Game 5: @ Brightonburg Draw 1-1
Game 6: vs. The Blouman Empire Draw 2-2
Game 7: @ Myedvedeya WIN 4-1
Game 8: vs. Yafor 2 LOST 0-3
Game 9: @ Cafundeu WIN 2-1
Game 10: @ Bears Armed LOST 2-4
Game 11: @ Iseerussiafrommyhouse WIN 2-0
Game 12: vs. Brightonburg WIN 3-2
Game 13: @ The Blouman Empire WIN 2-1
Game 14: vs. Myedvedeya WIN 3-1

PREDICTED RECORD: 7-3-4 24pts 3rd in Group.
ACTUAL RECORD: 7-2-5 23pts; T3rd in group. lost out on H2H GD vs. Bears Armed (5-6)

QSPN.COM World Cup 44 Coverage

NEW QAZOX HEAD COACH NAMED

Qazox City, Qazox:

Just hours after the Pheonix came home from a 4-1 loss to Dancougar, which end this qualification cycle, Interim Head Coach and former Team Captain, Raul de Olivares has offically been named the next Head Coach of the Pheonix.
Sources within the QFA believe that during his 5 game stint as Interim Coach, though leading Qazox to a record of 3-0-2; the QFA believes that de Olivares is the right choice to lead the Pheonix in their 10th consecutive World Cup and beyond.

More on this story, as details become available.

(After the game players return to the locker room)

McAllister: That’s right great job everyone!

Brooker: Great job with that goal in the first minute of stoppage time of the second half, Jeremy, surely that would put us over the hump!

Carlson: So does anyone know the score of the other game. We’re going to be in, I just know it!

McAllister: No way Milchama beats Septentrionia by more then three. Man, World Cup!

Carson: I just want all of you to know how proud I am of all you today. No matter what happened in the Milchama game, to have five wins and two draws out of the seven second half qualifying games showed your character, especially under the adversity that you all had to deal with. Congratulations on that!

(Random cheering throughout locker room)

Carson: Alright boys, I doubt Septentrionia could have been slaughtered that badly so let’s get confirmation of that result and that we are going to the world cup! No way they lose by more then three, right?

(Coach turns on the TV to view scores as players cheer some more and all watch highly expecting to see some great news)

TV Person: Group 8 was pretty well decided. The Archregimancy, Vephrall, and Krytenia. And can you believe East Pocono only scored two goals in the entire 14 games? Now on to group 9.....

Several Players: Shhhh here it comes....

TV Person: Group 9 was a three way tie for third coming into a day, and Newmanistan picked up a huge 4-1 victory over Miroxia to do away with them. It made Milchama have to win their game by four goals, like Warriors they defeated Septentrionia 4-0 ....

*click*

"Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!"

"We qualified! We qualified!"

"YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!"

"Unbelievable. Our team of half dead zombie dead guy ghost stuff actually qualified!"

"Not only that we went on a giant winning streak"

"Yeh we were undefeated the second half of qualifying"

"Man that's ridiculous"

"It really is"

"I don't believe it!"

"Me neither"

"How did we beat Septentrionia by that much?"

"Oh they didn't bother to field a team"

"What?!"

"Well they already qualified so why did it matter? They didn't want to spend the money so they just let us go"

"Isn't that normally just a 3-0 scoreline then?"

"Nope"

"Why not?"

"Because the people paid for their tickets so we played a game"

"And then?"

"We won 4-0 against a bunch of scrubs, what's so surprising. This is supposed to be Milchama's all star team, even if it does suck"

"Yeh"

"Yep"

"Your right"

"Of course"

"Come on you Warriors!"

"Yep"

Valiant Akbarabad bow out.


Akbarabad have been eliminated from the world cup on goal difference despite winning their last match away at Opereta 1-0. The national side finshed level on 21 points with Kelssek and had identical head to head records with them but a poor goal difference was the ultimate eliminator. Another goal in the previous 1-0 home victory over Kelssek or an extra point from any of the other matches would have have sufficed for qualifaction. In particular, the team may rue the two 3-3 draws with non ranked whipping boys St. Samuel.
Regardless, it has been a very good effort for a side ranked 120 to come so close while competing against five higher ranked teams (two of whom were eclipsed and one equalled.).

Greg Marshall, the Chief Superintendent of the Fort Boston City Police stood outside Police Headquarters in the Fenwick area of Fort Boston on what was a rainy day. Reporters and TV cameras from various news outlets, both national and international stood in-front of him, awaiting a statement on three men whom had been arrested under the Crimes Against Children Act (1997).

“Thank you all for coming,” he said with raindrops continuing to drip off the peak of his cap, “today, the Fort Boston City Police department have formally charged and have began proceedings against three Ad'ihani nationals with Crimes Against Children, namely, having images of children aged - we believe - between 3 and 7 on their possession which we have found to be in breach of the Crimes Against Children Act, Section 2, Subsection 6.

An offence of this nature is one of the most heinous in our society, and for us not to bring justice against people like those charged would be a crime committed by ourselves that would not be forgiveable. A date for trial will be shortly released.

Questions?”

“Mark James, BTV News. What can you tell us about those arrested?”

“As previously stated, the individuals are Ad'ihani nationals, and are aged 41, 53 and 65. Their names have been released to the Ad'ihani Consulate, and the Ad'ihani Department for Foreign Affairs, but will not be released to the press.”

An Ad'ihani raised his hand, pen aloft, to ask a question, and all eyes were on him.

“Sam Preston, senior correspondent for Radio Ad'ihan. How are those charged being treated?”

“The charged are being treated well, and have Consular access. They have been transferred to a prison-”

“What about bail hearings?” an un-announced voice shouted out.

“These charges do not hold opportunities for bail.” The Chief Superintendent answered, and continued answering Mr. Preston. “As I said, they have been transferred to a prison and are being held in segregation for their own safety.”

“What crime exactly will they be charged with?” Sam Preston asked.

“They have been charged with Crimes Against Children, Section 2, Subsection 6 of the 1997 Act, possession of unlawful images constituting child abuse.”

“Dan Mearn, Channel 9. Can you going into detail, Chief Superintendent, what these images actually showed?”

“The only detail that will be released before it comes out in trial is that the officers who discovered the images are receiving counselling.”

That hushed the crowd somewhat.

“Kevin Wakes, the Daily Mail. Where exactly were the images discovered?”

“Again, that is something that will come out in trial.”

“Peter Austell, Outer Sygonian Guardian. You are refusing to answer some questions in detail, Chief Superintendent, my readers will wish to know whether any evidence is still being made up, or are the stories you use plucked straight from a cabinet?”

The Chief Superintendent was enraged. “If you are suggesting that we in the FBCP will be committing perjury, then I suggest you make a formal complaint toward the Independent Police Complaints' Authority.”

“James Thornberg, sports reporter, United Islands Daily.” He suddenly felt uncomfortable. “Do you have any opinion on how this will affect relations between our nations?”

“I feel that diplomatically speaking, that is a question best directed toward the Foreign Ministry, but from a policing standpoint, the FBCP will not hold any prejudice against any Ad'ihanis in Fort Boston who have stayed on after the games. I will be meeting other Chief Superintendents from across the country in a special meeting of the Chief Superintendents Group later today to talk through how best to protect foreign nationals in Bostopia against any potential violence.”

“Jack Peerburg, Fort Boston Evening Telegraph. What sort of punishment could we be looking at if the accused are found guilty?”

“As with all crimes under Section 2 of the Crimes Against Children Act, the penalty for being found guilty is death.”

With that, the Chief Superintendent raised his hand in a gesture meaning “no more questions” and turned to walk back into the building, ignoring any shouts from journalists.

http://www.btinternet.com/~david.boston/_bostopia/dailymailheader.png

FURTHER ARRESTS MADE AFTER RIOTS

CCTV Evidence Used

Following the riots in Porthcawl Road, Fort Boston, following Bostopia's 4 – 2 victory over Ad'ihan in World Cup Qualifying at the Bostopia Stadium, a further 31 individuals have been arrested while attempting to leave the country. Police reported that 27 of whom had been arrested at airports, where 6 were attempting to board Empirical flights, and a further 21 attempting to board International flights. The 4 remaining individuals were arrested at ports.

Some of those arrested on the night have been charged with Criminal Damage, fined and released, though some remain in custody for more serious offences. All those charged and found guilty will be banned from entering Bostopia for a period of two years to permanently, depending on the seriousness of their crime. Those remaining in custody are mainly those who were found to have assaulted police officers.

The Home Office has said that they would be willing to hand over to Ad'ihani authorities anyone found guilty and given a prison sentence, as long as the Ad'ihani authorities would confirm that the prisoners would see out the whole of their sentence, with any appeals being heard by a Bostopian judge, under Bostopian law.

"and with just two minutes left to play, the score is still tied at 0-0.
Now SunBlessed passes to Karramarsar Karra, who passes across the pict htp her sister Sarra in front of the goal: Will she shott? no, she's passed it back to Harroya 'of the Rovers'. Harroya shoots... and the IseeRussiafrommyhouse goalie fails to reach the ball, as it goes into the corner of the net! She's scored the vital goal, and Bears Armed have surely won the game -- and so qualified for the Cup -- now!"

No mess, no fuss, just an RP cut-off for the post-qualifying friendlies.

...

Oh yeah, the scores. Here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14412259&postcount=19).

Woodstock Daily Mail

Stars finish friendly schedule after falling short of World Cup

By Travis West
Daily Mail Staff Writer

After the Sarzonian national football team lost out on World Cup qualifying due to a three-way tiebreaker in Group 2, the Stars wrapped up their post-qualifying friendly schedule with home matches against the world's 12 ranked side, The Archregimancy in the Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy and against onetime rivals and world No. 29 Krytenia.

Sarzonia lost the match against The Archregimancy 1:2, getting their goal from forward Zack Wilson, who started in spite of suffering a torn anterior cruciate ligament just a few matches prior. That 66th minute tally gave the Stars one goal back after trailing 0:2 at halftime, but the Stars couldn't equalise in spite of playing a three-forward lineup following the goal.

"We did everything we could to try to equalise," Manager Brian Wilson, father of Zack Wilson, said. "It just wasn't meant to be."

Even though the Stars lost both matches in the Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy and saw onetime nemesis Starblaydia lift the trophy named after their nation's founder, the Stars could take one small piece of consolation from the tournament and World Cup qualifying efforts. They may have started the World Cup qualifying efforts unranked, but they certainly didn't play like an unranked side for much of the tournament.

That continued in the match against the Aces, which ended in a 1:1 draw after Matt Lynch scored in the 24th minute off a Reese Nichols feed. Zack Wilson sat on the players bench for that match, getting a match off from Brian Wilson.

"I wanted to play," Zack Wilson said. "My competitive juices were flowing, but the team wanted to be cautious with AOCAF coming up." Zack Wilson said he didn't know if his team would receive an invitation to play in the Cup of Harmony, a tournament devoted to teams that failed to advance to the World Cup finals.

"Isn't that tournament for the sides with the best record who failed to qualify?" he asked. When informed that it was an invitational tournament, he shrugged.

"I don't know if we were playing with enough good form to be invited," he said. "If we receive an invitation, I'm sure we'll play there."

As for the forwards, Brian Wilson said he would strongly consider playing all three forwards once Zack Wilson is completely healthy.

"We're going to have to assess things during training in the run up to World Cup XLV," Brian Wilson said. "If Reese, Matt and Zack all come to training and all three are in top form, we may have to do something like that. I certainly wouldn't be opposed to doing so." After the match against the Aces, Brian Wilson was rewarded with a contract extension from the Incorporated Football Federation.

"By every metric, he's done a brilliant job," said IFF chairman and Brian's father Dave Wilson, who himself was a former national team manager. "If Brian weren't my son, I'd say the same thing about this performance." Dave Wilson also briefly touched on assistant manager Chris Trautwig's departure from the Stars before the end of qualifying.

"That wasn't a distraction," Dave Wilson said. "We're not happy with how his departure happened, but getting an opportunity to serve as a national team's manager was something Chris needed to experience. I won't close the door on his further involvement with the national team if, as I suspect, things don't work out in Rymeria."

Dave Wilson wouldn't elaborate on his suspicions with Rymeria's national team, but he said Trautwig "probably had second thoughts" after accepting the position.

"He left one unranked side to manage another, and one that played much, much worse than we did," Dave Wilson said. "I'm not sure what kind of support he'd get from the Rymerian Soccer Association, but if I'm not mistaken, their facilities are rather limited there."

Knights Qualify With 2-0 Victory

They had to win the game against West Zirconia and they did. After the game they just had to wait for the final score of the Sarzonia versus Valanora game. If the Stars tied or lost the Knights would advance. The score went up and the fans started to cheer. Many partied all night and for only the second time they drank to the team who qualified for the World Cup. This time though hopefully with a different atmosphere going in as a more expireience, and healthy team the Knights will at least make some head turns.

The Knights controlled all aspects of the game. They outran, outplayed, and outshot the younger team from the Western half of Zirconia. The Knights were led by team leader Brian Ying Uing whose two goals sealed the day for the Knights, and for the second time in team history they graced history with a spot in the finals. Although not as shocking as there first entrancre into the famed event the Knights still opened some eyes on there way to the glorious place.

The Knights will be joined by 31 other teams, including region,mate Qazox, gracious host Kura Pelland and Candelaria and Marquez. Others include friendly rivals Daehanjeiguk, World Champs and the Number 1 team in the world Valanora both from our qualifying group. Also two necomers to the tourney as a whole Pesieandros, and Bears Armed. The Knights would also like to welcome protectorates Kosovoe who will make there first attempt in the World Cup.

One of those teams hails from the land of Sorthern Northland. Just days after qualification the Knights took a trip to the land of the Sortherners. The two played to an epicly scoreless tie at 0-0. Niether team giving or gaining an inch. In there second post qualifying friendly the Knights took on Nethertopia and would win on a Hele score late in the first half. Hope to see you at the World Cup fans.

The 44th World Cup Draw


Groups A to D in Candelaria And Marquez (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14405829&postcount=15)
Groups E to H in Kura-Pelland


Group A
Valanora [1] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14332508&postcount=14))
Peisandros [46] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14359820&postcount=55))
The Holy Empire [19] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14353463&postcount=35))
Jeruselem [12] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14332964&postcount=17))

MD1:
Valanora v Peisandros @ Solidarity Stadium, Albrecht
The Holy Empire v Jeruselem @ New Sausages Arena, Allemali

MD2:
Valanora v The Holy Empire @ The White Palace, Rose of Sharon
Peisandros v Jeruselem @ Storie Park, Caires

MD3:
Valanora v Jeruselem @ Storie Park, Caires
Peisandros v The Holy Empire @ The White Palace, Rose of Sharon

Group B
Starblaydia [6] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14332584&postcount=15))
Bazalonia [23] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14359506&postcount=54))
Kosovoe [40] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14330617&postcount=5))
The Archregimancy [10] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14353545&postcount=36))

MD1:
Starblaydia v Bazalonia @ Storie Park, Caires
Kosovoe v The Archregimancy @ The White Palace, Rose of Sharon

MD2:
Starblaydia v Kosovoe @ New Sausages Arena, Allemali
Bazalonia v The Archregimancy @ Solidarity Stadium, Albrecht

MD3:
Starblaydia v The Archregimancy @ Solidarity Stadium, Albrecht
Bazalonia v Kosovoe @ New Sausages Arena, Allemali

Group C
Daehanjeiguk [8] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14357429&postcount=48))
Septentrionia [27]
Capitalizt SLANI [9]
Sorthern Northland [21] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14364209&postcount=58))

MD1:
Daehanjeiguk v Septentrionia @ La Escalera Naranja, Onwere
Sorthern Northland v Capitalizt SLANI @ Marlow Park, Zapata

MD2:
Daehanjeiguk v Capitalizt SLANI @ The Marble Ground, El din
Septentrionia v Sorthern Northland @ Estadio Arrigo Nacional, Arrigo

MD3:
Daehanjeiguk v Sorthern Northland @ Estadio Arrigo Nacional, Arrigo
Septentrionia v Capitalizt SLANI @ The Marble Ground, El din

Group D
Dancougar [3] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14331386&postcount=11))
Bears Armed [46] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14349650&postcount=33))
Candelaria And Marquez [22] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14409788&postcount=62))
Ad’ihan [14] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14358002&postcount=50))

MD1:
Dancougar v Bears Armed @ Estadio Arrigo Nacional, Arrigo
Candelaria And Marquez v Ad’ihan @ The Marble Ground, El din

MD2:
Dancougar v Candelaria And Marquez @ Marlow Park, Zapata
Bears Armed v Ad’ihan @ La Escalera Naranja, Onwere

MD3:
Dancougar v Ad’ihan @ La Escalera Naranja, Onwere
Bears Armed v Candelaria And Marquez @ Marlow Park, Zapata


Group E
Cafundéu [5] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14353709&postcount=38))
Jaseuyeon [24]
Yafor II [11] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14356663&postcount=46))
Kelssek [36] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14332659&postcount=16))

MD1:
Cafundéu v Jaseuyeon @ Greens Park, Prangren
Yafor II v Kelssek @ St Margaret's Stadium, Marthley

MD2:
Cafundéu v Yafor II @ Lake Branagh Arena, Porterbridge
Jaseuyeon v Kelssek @ St Margaret's Stadium, Marthley

MD3:
Cafundéu v Kelssek @ Lake Branagh Arena, Porterbridge
Jaseuyeon v Yafor II @ Greens Park, Prangren

Group F
Bostopia [4] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14335597&postcount=23))
Lovisa [15]
Wentland [18]
Jeru FC [25] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14335469&postcount=22))

MD1:
Bostopia v Lovisa @ The PurplePlex, Wulting
Wentland v Jeru FC @ Brickleyplace, Murley

MD2:
Bostopia v Wentland @ Greens Park, Prangren
Lovisa v Jeru FC @ Brickleyplace, Murley

MD3:
Bostopia v Jeru FC @ Brickleyplace, Murley
Lovisa v Wentland @ St Margaret's Stadium, Marthley

Group G
Vephrall [7] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14359199&postcount=53))
Qazox [17] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14332197&postcount=13))
Krytenia [28] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14355513&postcount=45))
Milchama [16] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14368079&postcount=59))

MD1:
Vephrall v Qazox @ The PurplePlex, Wulting
Krytenia v Milchama @ Estadio Tallua, el Arapucera

MD2:
Vephrall v Krytenia @ Shanvley Stadium, Trilan
Qazox v Milchama @ The PurplePlex, Wulting

MD3:
Vephrall v Milchama @ Barkham Park Stadium, Parwood
Qazox v Krytenia @ The PurplePlex, Wulting

Group H
Demot [2] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14353798&postcount=41))
Taeshan [33] (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14330598&postcount=4))
Tynelia [13]
Kura-Pelland [20]

MD1:
Demot v Taeshan @ Shanvley Stadium, Trilan
Tynelia v Kura-Pelland @ Barkham Park Stadium, Parwood

MD2:
Demot v Tynelia @ Barkham Park Stadium, Parwood
Taeshan v Kura-Pelland @ Estadio Tallua, el Arapucera

MD3:
Demot v Kura-Pelland @ Shanvley Stadium, Trilan
Taeshan v Tynelia @ Estadio Tallua, el Arapucera

Second Round:

S1: 1st of Group A v 2nd of Group B @ Storie Park, Caires
S2: 1st of Group C v 2nd of Group D @ Estadio Arrigo Nacional, Arrigo
S3: 1st of Group B v 2nd of Group A @ Solidarity Stadium, Albrecht
S4: 1st of Group D v 2nd of Group C @ Marlow Park, Zapata
S5: 1st of Group E v 2nd of Group F @ Estadio Tallua, el Arapucera
S6: 1st of Group G v 2nd of Group H @ The PurplePlex, Wulting
S7: 1st of Group F v 2nd of Group E @ Brickleyplace, Murley
S8: 1st of Group H v 2nd of Group G @ St Margaret's Stadium, Marthley

Quarter-Finals:

Q1: S1 winner v S2 winner @ New Sausages Arena, Allemali
Q2: S3 winner v S4 winner @ La Escalera Naranja, Onwere
Q3: S5 winner v S6 winner @ Greens Park, Prangren
Q4: S7 winner v S8 winner @ Barkham Park Stadium, Parwood

Semi-Finals:

SF1: Q1 winner v Q2 winner @ Solidarity Stadium, Albrecht
SF2: Q3 winner v Q4 winner @ Lake Branagh Stadium, Porterbridge

Third Place Play-Off

SF1 loser v SF2 loser @ Estadio Arrigo Nacional, Arrigo


FINAL

SF1 winner v SF2 winner @ Shanvley Stadium, Trilan



Rosters, seedings, etc and whatnot, to follow...

For the attention of the Football Association or equivalent entity of delete as applicable Valanora, Peisandros, the Holy Empire, Jeruselem, Starblaydia, Kosovoe, Bazalonia, the Holy Monastic Republic of the Archregimancy, the Han Empire, Septentrionia, the Capitalizt SLANI of the Unified Capitalizt States, Sorthern Northland, Dancougar, Ad’ihan, Bears Armedcheck with Jenny about that one.

Dear sir(s)/madam(s),


Writing on behalf of the Home Office of Candelaria And Marquez, the C&M Tourism Council, and the CAMAFA; we must first express our congratulations for your nation’s World Cup 44 qualification, and presence, for the group stages, in the Candelarias.

For the people of Candelaria And Marquez and Green Island, co-hosting the World Cup is undoubtedly one of the most important events in our national history, and represents the culmination of a decades-spanning effort to bring our country into the wider world and take our place among the global community of nations. Suddenly, we are the focus of the worlds’ attention, and we do not intend to let you nor our people down, from an organisational nor spectacled perspective.

As with any good host; the Candelariasian people, government and authorities will make every effort in accommodating your travelling squad, officials and supporters, and giving leeway where possible to minor trespasses of national and local law and custom – in particular, visiting fans can expect a softly-softly approach from our well-staffed police force; be it at matches, in city centres, or elsewhere.

Equally, we have every faith in your decorum as guests to respect Candelariasian law and custom wherever possible, as much for your own safety and those of your supporters as native sensibilities – note that suspected drug trafficking, for example, will result in immediate deportation at best. Further more, you are no doubt aware of certain traditions and conventions within Candelariasian society that make the discussion of certain issues somewhat taboo, and we would humbly expect you make every feasible effort in observing these conventions while in C&M.

Otherwise however, our organisations will make it our personal responsibility to ensure that your stay here will be as pleasant and easy as results will allow. In particular, though you are entirely within your rights to make your own arrangements in these matters, we supply below a compilation of some forty-eight training centres and hotels (or other forms of accommodation) for the use of visiting squads during the tournament. Each of the eight host cities is listed with three of each, graded A-C for the standard of facilities available and cost – taking into account, as we endeavour to, that not all competing nations have the financial resources available, or who choose for moral reasons, to go for the best of the best.

Whatever facilities you chose, if any, representatives from our organisations will always be on hand to ensure that your visit is as painless and productive as possible.

Yours most sincerely,

Nolan Parker MP, Secretary of State for Sport
Bob Herd MP, Minister for Tourism and C&M Welcomes the World Policy
Sam Mc O’Neil, Acting President of the CAMAFA
Andrew Pike, Chairman of the Candelaria And Marquez Tourism Council

http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w175/candelariaandmarquez/Interior.png.......... http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w175/candelariaandmarquez/CAMAFA5.png .......... http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w175/candelariaandmarquez/livethe.png




Albrecht

Training Facilities ~

Grade A ~ The Moon Town Training Centre, in the district of Moon Town in the Albrecht borough of Hoxton (phew), is the training ground of Albrecht Turkish. Established shortly after the TQCC3 victory, having originally been the home of the club’s youth academy, it is now one of the largest and most sophisticated in the country – featuring ten pitches; advanced training, rehabilitation, physiotherapy and hydrotherapy rooms; a sauna; weight rooms; restaurant; conference rooms; and badminton and basketball courts. Any NTs that somehow wheedle their way in here will also have the advantage of privacy, with the complex surrounded by a mile of deer-proof fencing.

Grade B ~ The Scorpions Academy, in the downtown Albrecht district of Songstress, is a cheaper alternative – Albrecht FC bosses are realistic enough to know that, with refurbishment on the complex half complete, they cannot hope to match the product offered by Turkish. Saying that, the training centre contains all the pitches and facilities one might expect of the biggest club in the country and its vaguely legendary academy – and, handily, any NTs not especially used to playing in even C&M’s modestly sized stadia will have the run of the 40k-seater Millerman Sheppard Stadium. Would also be a handy choice for those who prefer to be where the action is, rather than stuffed away in the dull suburbia of Hoxton.

Grade C ~ Albrecht University AFC were an early success story of the region’s first amateur club competition and, while the club itself has long since faded into obscurity, matches between college teams remain an integral part of AU life among that portion of the student body who avoid joining the boating or rugby societies for fear of spending the entire time tugging their forelocks. University College itself, in the Hill Side district of the capital, has made several pitches and its modest facilities available to any NT prepared to brave the presence of Religious Studies students.

Accommodation ~

Grade A ~ The Fitz Albrecht, more commonly known by its former name of the Fitz Inn, is considered the leading luxury hotel in the country by quite some distance, with a reputation for providing hospitality to the rich and famous. Located in the exclusive district of Extra (Ez-tair); the prices and quality of rooms and suites vary, but all offer twenty-four hour room service, vast plasma screens and unfettered high-speed internet access, capacious bathrooms (including, it is claimed, the deepest baths in the Candelarias, made predominately in Samuelese marble in an art deco style echoed across the hotel), bedsheets of 100% Arabian cotton, breakfast bars set in black moonstone, and pianos. It is, as the sign says, “Proper Nobby.”

Grade B ~ The Meissner Hotel, in the upper-crust district of Bramlive, is one of several similar five-star institutions, though it is selected here for its experience of accommodating football teams and their supporters, including those of overseas clubs and NTs willing to splash the cash a little. Thoroughly modern and achingly trendy, verging on chic, it is none the less just about affordable to the common man (or, at least, the common man from somewhat wealthier countries) and includes suites for large travelling parties, with single and double rooms each bearing individual touches and catering to individual… erm… needs. There’s also a world-class restaurant and a rooftop swimming pool, but bear in mind that it’s January, won’t you…?

Grade C ~ The StayHere Inn chain operates hotels across the capital, and fills the budget end of the market. Rooms boast a colour television, en suite shower, and a bed – and these are the boasts, we must stress. Cheap and cheerful, and even the cockroaches are happy.


Allemali

Training Facilities ~

Grade A ~ The Nathan Holmes Centre of Excellence is today owned and administered by the City Council, and is used both by Candelaria-Allemali and made available to local children and budding athletes. That may be a distraction, if a bunch of school kids turn up wanting their go on the countercurrent swimming system, of course, but the facilities here are genuinely world class – several pitches of various sizes and surfaces, two gyms, a large game room, and an Olympic size swimming pool – one of barely a dozen across the Candelarias and which features the aforementioned countercurrent swimming system… Allemali City Council is notoriously keen on spending the city’s hard-earned tax rupees. Oh, and the old Hallowfield Park Stadium, just across the road, is yours to do with as you will.

Grade B ~ The CNDS Aspire, located on Lozan Island in Allemali Bay, is a Candelarias Naval Defence shore establishment, forming part of the National Maritime Warfare School, and being home to the National Sea Cadet Training Centre. Principally, the training on offer here for ten to twenty-one year-olds across C&M involves various forms of sailing, first aid, kayaking, and Indian cuisine made easy, but there are also several somewhat inexplicable football pitches. This might be the choice for a less disciplined set of players.

Grade C ~ The Promise Rock Primary School is a state community junior school in suburban Allemali, which aims to encourage independence and a love of learning to enable children to reach their full potential in a happy, safe, well-managed environment, whilst forging a partnership between home and school, preparing all pupils for the challenges and opportunities that await them in later life. More to the point, it has several pitches, a climbing frame, and a widely acclaimed black market tuck shop (speak to Freddie ‘The Cat’ Paunovic, round by the back of the swings, after first period).

Accommodation ~

Grade A ~ Located in the small nearby town of Bering, the Gâzi Hotel is considered one of the finest spa retreats in the country. Boasting a ‘unique ambience’ and ‘highly personal service’, those visitors for whom such notions are not immediately terrifying should quickly become used to life in this haven of relaxation nestled in the Eddols Hills, surrounded by picturesque wine villages and the high-class entertainments on offer in the town itself. There are even pitches and training facilities on site, for those times when a trip to the big city seems like just too much effort. The gentleman’s choice.

Grade B ~ The CNS Alice is a retired ocean liner, now moored at port in Allemali and operated as a floating hotel. Since it’s still in the midst of a refurbishment however (no-one thought we’d be hosting the World Cup here for at least another decade), visiting NTs may well have to double up in bunkbeds, and a few minor squad members might well find themselves stopping over in the engine room or bridge for a bit. There’s also the whole controversy about the woodworm, but we needn’t go into that at this juncture.

Grade C ~ Uncle Barry’s Wonderland, on the outskirts of the village of Alvorne, is the last remaining of what was once C&M’s most popular chain of holiday camps. Uncle Barry’s famous Blackshirts provide much of the entertainment available on site, though visiting NTs will also find tennis courts, sports fields (for the Sunday afternoon egg-and-spoon races – attendance is compulsory), a small theatre, amusement arcade, bostro restaurant (bistro offended trading standards), horse riding, and a safari, apparently. The Matchday One period will also coincide with a “70s Austerity” adult party weekend, featuring the world-renowned Candelariasian DJ Monty Wong.


Caires

Training Facilities ~

Grade A ~ The Scruggs-on-the-Dangly Training Ground is the training ground of Caires Sports Club, located in a small village to the north and in close proximity to one of the country’s most prestigious golf clubs. A five-iron, I do believe. Redeveloped in recent years following the Kaleta group’s takeover of the Knights, it today features six pitches, an aquatic therapy pool (including an underwater treadmill), gymnasium, and vegetable plot. As a setting, it is a world away from noisy Caires proper, and the finest centre of its type in north-east Candelaria.

Grade B ~ Located in the relatively sedate Caires district of Watson, the McNeil Bingo Training Complex is Caires City’s training ground and the site of the club’s academy. In the middle of a redevelopment, the centre still boasts several pitches – including an exact replica of the World Cup’s Storie Park – a gym, spa, sauna and physio room. Built a few years ago, on greenbelt land, even foreign NTs may still have to put up with environmental protestors and local nimbies surrounding the 30-acre site, who have put down roots in recent months and built up a rather charming communal atmosphere.

Grade C ~ The Municipal Sports Facilities in the Tarvin district would do in a pinch, I suppose. There’s pitches, and a gym and stuff. It’s nothing special, but honestly, it’s a Grade C. What did you expect?

Accommodation ~

Grade A ~ The Tang Resort and Casino, in the Rider Castle district of Caires, is a 40-story luxury hotel casino – the largest hotel in the country, the most tastelessly showy, and a huge gold edifice that has become the most recognisable symbol of the city since its construction a decade ago. The suites are everything you might expect, usually done out in a ‘sophisticated palette of black, brown and cream’, with vast and luxurious beds, marble and granite baths, and a mini-bar in every room. Besides the casino itself, attractions include three heated pools, a saltwater aquarium, fourteen restaurants and cafés, and thrice daily stage productions of the hit musical ¡Madre de Dios!

Grade B ~ The Arda Caires, likewise in Rider Castle, is a hotel and casino with guest suites that, while slightly more modest that those of the Tang, still represent the height of luxury (or that you’re likely to find in the Candelarias, anyway). Noted for its Middle-earth theme, restaurants include Merethrond and The Two Towers, wherein one may feast on honey-cake, lembas and take on ent-draught or miruvor. A wedding chapel staffed by a Quenya-speaking priest allows anyone who wishes to be joined in mind and body, with other attractions including a posse of “elven” strippers. The Arda Caires has also, in recent times, become popular with a… certain class of overseas visitor. Probably only for the ironic value, though.

Grade C ~ Knockers, likewise in Rider Castle likewise, is the third hotel-casino on the list. Unlike its more illustrious overseas counterpart in the restaurant trade however, the Candelariasian Knockers really is just getting going, and is currently little more than a cleavage-themed motel. And even that’s pushing it a bit, frankly, with the ‘Knockers Girls’ already famed nationwide for not being, shall we say, the greatest adverts for Candelariasian womanhood, in any aspect of the feminine matrix.


Rose of Sharon

Training Facilities ~

Grade A ~ Ashprington is the name of KT Hotspur’s academy, which also houses the club’s senior training facilities, on a site on the outskirts of the town. Though perhaps not quite up to the standard of the top CMSC1 club’s training centres, the modern Ashprington complex never the less offers three full-size pitches with undersoil heating, and, indoors, the usual array of gyms, medical facilities, a sauna, physio rooms, etcetera.

Grade B ~ Stockley is the training centre of Turks’ Club, located in suburban Khatib-Gassett. Financially struggling for a club of their size, the Turks’ facilities are somewhat more modest than many, but still include two full-size and one half-size pitch, and a state-of-the-art gym that includes an isokinetic machine, whatever one of those is. Turks’ Club’s own video analyst may also be available post-match, potentially giving your NT a distinct tactical edge. The negative side is that Stockley was built on former army land, and there’s always the risk on stepping on a mine. Try to avoid the flanks: Turks’ Club’s youth sides tend to play fairly narrow, and that represents very much an unploughed furrow of danger.

Grade C ~ The Snowy Park Athletics Centre was informally known as ‘The Valleys’ and served as the Spur’s home ground up until mid-way through the CMSC XXII season. It’s got a pitch, and some handy training facilities on site, but there’s always the risk of it collapsing, y’know, and it’s padlocked most of the day so you’ll have to sneak in under the cover of darkness. And it’s a bit overgrown. Have fun though.

Accommodation ~

Grade A ~ The area of the former Triple City isn’t, we must confess, a hotbed of tourism in C&M. If your FA does decide to put down roots here, the Holton Gassett is probably your best bet, overlooking some of the more pleasant parts of Khatib-Gassett (including Coppersmith Park and Lake Fenny), while the rooms are bright and airy and come with power showers, easy chairs, and mints on the pillows. There’s an indoor pool, steam room, gym, a couple of pleasant little restaurants, and one of the best coffee shops in the country.

Grade B ~ ارتفاع الفندق الشارع is a large Sharia hotel along Rosasharn High Street, more commonly known as the High Street Hotel. Rated as a four-star establishment, and with more than enough room for visiting NTs, the hotel serves halal food, alcohol is prohibited on the premises, calls to prayer ring out over the tannoy system, copies of the Qur’an are left by the bedside table, there are separate swimming pools and spa facilities for men and women, and the whole place is full to bursting with arches and minarets. The hotel was established four years ago by a John Richardson and his wife Lorraine, and tends to be cheerfully ignored by the local Candelariasian Bettian population and their cultural colleagues.

Grade C ~ The Passoni Colliery, operated by the Adamczyk family of KT Hotspur fame, is the last remaining mine within the borders of Rosasharn itself. Cheap as chips, your NT will be able to stay here for as long as they please, providing they chip in every now and again. There’s always the possibility of chronic lung disease, or being caught up in a build-up of hazardous gas, but look on it as an experience, like the Ice Hotel, and so forth. Bring your own canary, please.


Arrigo

Training Facilities ~

Grade A ~ Benbián, in the Arguayo district of Greater Arrigo, is home to Arrigo Portuguese’s training ground. Previously used by a Catholic primary school (the ground is named for Father Benedicto and Father Fabián who taught football at the school), Benbián is today a state-of-the-art centre offering several full-size, all-weather pitches, a swimming pool, gym, restaurant and recreation facilities.

Grade B ~ Arrigo Leisure Centre is available to be co-opted by any one NT that wishes to take up the offer. An attractive, modern edifice, the ALC (or CdOdA) includes one full-size and one half-size pitch, an indoor waterpark, gym facilities, health spa, aerobic studio, swimming pool, bowling green, bullring, and a playpark with coloured balls in. If that helps at all.

Grade C ~ The Khapsaev Academy for Gymnastic Excellence, built on the site of the former Ciudad Española Centre for Disobedient Girls, is a co-ed primary, secondary and tertiary educational establishment that devotes much of the school day to gymnastics training and associated exercises. It doesn’t, strictly speaking, have any football pitches on site, but each and every player will be able to tumble like a good’un following a week of tutelage under the watchful glare of Vera Khapsaev and her band of forceful lesbians.

Accommodation ~

Grade A ~ The finest hotel in the second city, The Filosa is already a magnet for captains of industry, showbiz and visiting football teams, and knows just how to cater to your NT’s needs. The rooms, each individually and tastefully designed, appear to trumpet the complementary mineral water and fluffy bathrobes, but don’t let that put you off – this is the height of sophistication. The Filosa is also home to four restaurants as well as room service, ranging from a ludicrously posh Septentrionian job boasting the (apparently) renowned head chef Étienne Colombière (he’s from Scruggs Picking, Nr Caires, but still…) and the awfully swish Triskaidecagon Lounge.

Grade B ~ The WC44 organising committee have also secured the Curtis Mantell, likewise in downtown Arrigo, for the exclusive use of a national team or two. A warm and friendly atmosphere awaits, apparently, with traditional décor, “modern facilities including TV, hairdryer, telephone and air conditioning”, a Pizzeria, and a leisure club including rowing machines and weight lifting equipment, which seems an odd definition of “leisure” to us, but there you go.

Grade C ~ Señora Emilia Narvaez, of number 23a on the Calle de Robano, has kindly made her spare room available for any NT struggling to find a base of operations in the city. She can offer a good breakfast, but it’s lights out at ten thirty, gentlemen, and, if there’s more than sixteen of you on the squad, you’ll have to bunk in with her teenage daughter Felicita, if that’s alright. She snores, sorry.


El din

Training Facilities ~

Grade A ~ The Poco Camino is the name now given to the El din Marbles’ base of operations beyond the Marble Ground. The first team train here, on a site constructed in recent times from the former Little Road Stadium and several surrounding buildings, with the youth system also operating from here. Unlike most Candelariasian clubs, the Marbles now house several dozen permanent scholars of various ages here, with kids from the city’s notorious shanty towns living alongside promising players from far wealthier backgrounds and foreign youngsters, most notably Nethertopians. As a result, the Poco Camino has a full complement of kitchens, living rooms, dining rooms and dormitories, and can therefore also serve as the base of operations during the tournament of one NT, as well as a modest training centre.

Grade B ~ With C.F. Cathedral City snubbing the chance of allowing their facilities to be used at this World Cup (with their home ground not selected to be extended for the tournament in favour of the Marbles’ new stadium), El Campo is probably your best bet for a cheaper alternative in the city. A vast expanse on the edge of El din proper, it unofficially marks the divide between the affluent suburbs and poorest barrios in the north-east of the city. In time, it has also become one of the driving forces for social cohesion, perhaps as much as the Marbles themselves, being home to over seventy full-size football pitches and, on Sunday afternoons (never mornings… this is a Catholic city, after all), many dozens of amateur teams from across the region cheerfully kicking lumps out of each other. Other facilities bar the pitches themselves are hard to come by, but you’ll certainly have plenty of space.

Grade C ~ Of course, the upkeep of El Campo requires a subscription fee per team entered into the modern Liga El din system, something which the poorest youngsters from the most impoverished districts of the Candelarias cannot hope to afford. Instead, these bambinos play on the street, be it with prized balls or discarded tin cans, amongst the plywood and corrugated metal of their cramped, stinking, disease-ridden homes. There’s no hope of finding an isokinetic pool here, but amongst the dying dogs and unnervingly coughing children, your NT might discover something even more special. From rush goalie to Richard, Gol Para Mi to pick-up football, your team’s skills will be honed to perfection by competition against ten year-olds boys with a gun, cholera and nothing to lose…

Accommodation ~

Grade A ~ Kingshott Hall is a mock Tudor mansion in the exorbitantly wealthy, predominately English-speaking, section of El din, which has been home to the Kingshott family for the worse part of a century. Occasionally open to the public, the manor house will be available for any NT wishing to live like lords (and possibly ladies) of the merrie past, quaffing mead and feasting on suckling pig brought on silver platters by bulbous cooks and willowy Hispanic serving girls. The grounds are stocked with deer and amusing topiary, and courts for real tennis, tent pegging, and carousing.

Grade B ~ The Bueno Centre, on the outskirts of the city, has a somewhat untidy past as a ‘war relocation centre’ – an internment camp for Candelarias residents and citizens deemed sympathetic to the Axis cause during the later stages of the second world war; principally Italian and German speakers. Today, the centre is a YMCA, so on the whole things haven’t improved much, but it’s the closest thing to a hotel in El din you’re probably going to get. There’s plenty of sports facilities on the plus side, along with nude swimming. And of course you can, we’d be amiss not to mention, hang out with all the boys. If the mood so takes you.

Grade C ~ Um. Yeah, alright, we admit we’re struggling a tad at this point. I suppose some nice farmers up in the wilds of north-east might be willing to put you up for a bit. Or you could stay in one of the barrios, as long as you don’t mind the lack of electricity and proper sanitation and whatnot. And no, we don’t know why there are still areas of the country like that, given how big in to wealth redistribution we are. Maybe they just like it like that?


Onwere

Training Facilities ~

Grade A ~ The Orange City is the newest, and possibly the best, club training facility in the Candelarias. The pride and joy of Sam Wendell, the billionaire owner of Marquez-Onwere, the ‘City’ covers a vast site outside Onwere that dwarfs many of the surrounding villages – once the club get back into international competition, hiring top-line foreign and domestic stars shouldn’t be too tricky once they’ve feasted their eyes on this baby. There are thirteen pitches, some with natural grass, some synthetic; some are extra long or short in either direction in direct mimicry of some of the country’s most notable stadia, while there are a wide range of smaller fields including only part of a real pitch, for finishing exercises and similar. A vast central building houses the youth academy, as well as a large and well-equipped gym, a world-class hydrotherapy centre and medical centre… It’s nice. Honestly. You’ll want to take it home to meet yer mam.

Grade B ~ Colombo Road is the home ground of Onwere University, a semi-professional side in the CMSC regional leagues, that today effectively serves as MarquezOW’s reserve team. Despite this, the club still plays on the grounds of the Uni itself, and the players have the run of the nearby gymnasium, swimming pool, basketball courts and whatnot. So will your NT, if you like. It’s not great, but it’d do.

Grade C ~ The Estadio Francisco Álvarez served as MarquezOW’s home ground throughout their entire history, up until this season. Though the club’s pre-Orange City training facilities are in the process of being demolished, the EFA will still be available to anyone who wishes to make use of it. The grass may be a bit overlong by now, mind you, but there’s a handy running track round the outside and, y’know, floodlights and stuff. Knock yourself out.

Accommodation ~

Grade A ~ A small luxury hotel barely ten minute coach ride from Onwere, Hotham Hall is considered the leading spa resort and hotel of its kind in the south of Marquez. Their website uses the word ‘indulgence’ a lot, if that’s at all helpful. Should you front up the money, the Hotham will be one NT’s exclusive use, along with a highly-rated restaurant, the feng shui spa with all its candles and relaxing limestone (?), the sauna, the steam room, the plunge pools, the ice fountain, the hammam (it’s a Turkish thing, apparently)… Basically, if you’re keen on getting wet, and then getting dry again, there are few finer ways to do it.

Grade B ~ With Onwere having long been a popular site for conventions of one kind or another, the bed & breakfast market is one of the strongest in the country. The city centre is littered with them, few housing more than a couple of apartments but all within a few minute’s walk of each other. If you’re quick, your NT squad can snap the lot up online, and finding lodging in various pubs and private houses, where you’ll find trouser presses, alarm clocks, and complementary toiletries. Tampons that tell you how nice you’re looking, presumably.

Grade C ~ With the World Cup disrupting just about every facet of day to day life in the eight hosting cities in C&M and beyond, cheapskate NTs can take advantage of that by staying at the OU’s Halls of Residence, a network of buildings dotted around Onwere with modest but airy single rooms. Most will have been vacated by the time you turn up, but forcing the smell of tikka masala-flavoured pot noodle out of the cushions may be beyond even the most forceful of detergents.


Zapata

Training Facilities ~

Grade A ~ The Massinger Valley Park is the Green Island football club’s training facility, located some way to the south-west of Zapata and nestled between several farming villages. An idyllic site once used as a spiritual retreat and still popular with doggers to this day, the grounds include a small wood and a lake, though the resident swan population has long since been driven out. There are four full-sized pitches, while the main buildings house a large gym and all the usual gubbins one might expect. A small chalet several minutes’ walk to the west was constructed some months ago to allow the resident collection of Vanorian players and coaching staff to… do whatever it is Vanorians do, in comfort and away from prying eyes.

Grade B ~ The Rush River Olympic Training Centre isn’t quite as grand a beast as it sounds, having been built likewise some way south of the city as the training ground of Riverton Olympic, Zapata’s second club, during the brief era a couple of seasons ago when local millionaire Adrian Anthony pumped vast sums into his boyhood team and their facilities. Rush River does include three full-size pitches, indoor training pitches, and so on and such forth, while the site also includes an artificial ski slope and the tentative beginnings of similar enterprises, with the centre having now been partially bought, not unsuitably, by the Candelarias Olympic Association.

Grade C ~ Um. Well, there’s Nunn Park, in the heart of Zapata. You could always have a kick-about down the park, innit? Jumpers for goalposts, all that. Proper authentic.

Accommodation ~

Grade A ~ Situated on the quayside, overlooking the small Dankers Park on one side and the city’s bustling port on the other, the Hockenhull Zapata Hotel is within walking distance of Marlow Park. The suites specialise in slinkiness and come with complimentary champagne and strawberries-dipped-in-chocolate, though professional footballers will probably be eschewing that sort of thing, thinking about it… The hotel includes a fully-equipped gym, subterranean spa replete with buddha statues and scented candles, and a much-vaunted brasserie, although we’re not entirely sure what one of them is. Possibly a sports bra, given the context. The HZH has been unfairly maligned somewhat since the Sorthern Northland under-21 side used it during the 7th Di Bradini Cup, what with the ensuing swan attack, an’ all, but that just makes it all the better value.

Grade B ~ A tad more cheap and cheerful, the family-run T’urtel T’on Yon River is a pleasant little place in the centre of town, with just enough space to support a full NT squad and their assorted hangers-on. The executive rooms include a Jacuzzi and sea views, with the standard offerings promise a welcome tray laden with biscuits. The lounge bar offers real ale from the owner’s own micro brewery, and a menu both of traditional Green Island fare and a chef with a wide knowledge of overseas cuisine.

Grade C ~ As the centre of the Candelarias’ fishing industry, commercial trawlers leave and enter the city’s port on a minute by minute basis. Why not soak up the experience of life on the ocean wave with the hardy trawlermen of these ‘ere islands by setting up camp on the waters themselves. You’ll find your sea legs in no time, in the warm company of our friendly, lonesome fishermen – and you never know, you might even dredge up a dolphin by mistake! It’d be a once in a lifetime experience for you and your players, and a sparkling start to your adventure in thes–

Oh, who are we kidding?

OOC NOTE: The post below is designed as humourous, but contains some discriminatory material that some may find offensive.

He's out of the mental institution, out of his medicine, and out on the airwaves of the world. It's Stephen Deletraz's World Cup Preview!
This segment contains scenes of insanity form the outset; viewer discretion is advised.

Good evening, people of the world, and a great big hello from sunny Avidia! Actually, that's a lie, it's pissing it down here, we could have been somewhere more relevant and with better weather, but nooooo... apparently Stephen Deletraz isn't good enough for the network to spend their money on. I'm surprised they stretched to studio time, to be honest...

Anyway, onto what you came here for, the Stephen Deletraz World Cup Preview! And, as we're almost doing things rationally today, we're starting our preview in Candelaria, and it's little brother Marquez, 'cause, you know, they got Groups A to D.

Straight out of the box, it's the pointy-eared fascists* of Valanora. World Champions for the past eight years, blah, blah, all we care about is who's going to pummel the proverbial out of the pompous gits. Group A's "rogues gallery" consists of the potentially distracting Überdamen of Jeruselem - any members of the team wanting to contact me, the address is at the end of the show** - and Peisandros, and no, I don't know either. We'll be interested to know what the elves' worst nightmares are - you gotta love those wacky Dreamed Realmers, eh?

Group B, and there's good news and bad news. The bad news is that Starblaydia have made it. Barely. The good news is that they've been thrown in with a couple of chunky-style heavyweights. There's the insane drunkards*** of Bazalonia, in their JMC kits. That's right! The Aces think they're not good enough for them, but they're good enough for the Bazalopes - even if the amber bits are just to hide the alcohol-induced sick****. Then there's the strangest sight in all of Christendom. Well, the Orthodox bit anyway. Football-playing monks. It'll be football-playing vegetables next, mark my words, and lets see the Canderelasians or whatever explain that one. Oh, and Kosovoe. No-one cares about Kosovoe though*****.

Ooh, it's the customary Group Of Death™. Group C is also the Group Of Stereotypes! Drunken Commies? Yup, that's Sorthern Northland in the traditional "Hockey Canada" role, only with more "drunken" and only slightly less "commie". Capitalists? Check - it's the SLANI, duh. Dull Francophonic bastards? That'll be Septentrionia, who are like the old Oliverrians, only far less interesting******. And then thres the Han, the stereotypical slitty-eyed pet-eaters*******. God do I hate them.

And our final stop in C'n'M is Group D. Let's face it, the bears are going to eat everyone********, and the second spot is going to come from those who are the least maimed. Probably Dancougar; I hear they're mostly gristle*********. And the host nation will deny everything, of course, even as their team gets chewed. Not going to be sorry to see the Apostrophes get devoured though**********.

Onto Kura-Pelland! It's Groups E, F, G, H, and we're starting with Group E. And Group E's groupies will be cheering on a number of teams that the world cares not a jot about. And Cafundeu, which they do. So it's a quick hello we say to Yafor Two, Kelssek, and the SLANI Reserves.

Group F, and finally, something interesting! It's Emperor Boston, the tank-obsessed, drink-fuelled, one-man economy-wrecker***********, and his quite normal bunch of Bostopians. And then there's the equally tank-obsessed Jeru FC. Wentland and Lovisa would be advised to be elsewhere should things start getting....boomy.

And then there's the greatest team never to have been World Champions, or AOCAF Champions...or to have won anything at all really...yup, nothing here but us Krytenians. Then there's Vephrall, Vephrall (so crap we beat them twice), Qazox - seriously, who worships large cows?!? Oh, and Milchama, who are like Jeruselem, except with hideously ugly************ women.

And, last and least, it's Group H. As in, "hoo cares"? Any group whre Tynelia are the big draws are a big yourn in my opinion. Kura-Pelland, Taeshan, and Demot will be trying not to nod off.

Well, that's it! Stay tuned for more from me another time!*************

* - The opinions of Stephen Deletraz do not coincide with those of Krytie TV.
** - Please don't give him ideas. Please.
*** - The opinions of Stephen Deletraz still do not coincide with those of Krytie TV. Please don't sue us.
**** - We swear, he does the research for this on the back of a cereal box. Maybe we should cut down his sugar intake.
***** - Actually, we agree with him there.
****** - This is clearly a lie. The Oliverrians were never interesting.
******* - That sentence was so offensive, it put three of our lawyers in casualty. How the hell do you manage to break lawyers?!?
******** - Yes, we know there are several things wrong here. Honestly, we stopped trying to restrain this somewhere in the Group B roundup.
********* - No, we don't know where he got that from either.
********** - We're not touching this one with a twenty foot pole.
*********** - Please don't let the Emperor watch this. Ever. Even when he's dead. Just in case.
************ - We apologise to the women of Milchama. If you all want to line up and kick him in the balls, we'll televise it - because, you know, funny!!
************* - Assuming we still have a station after all the inevitable lawsuits.

World Cup 44 Qualification - Group 2
MD1: 2-0 vs [42] West Zirconia (@ Munhwa Football Stadium - 65,000, Hanseong)
MD2: 0-2 @ [???] Sarzonia (@ Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium - 88,920, Woodstock)
MD3: 5-0 vs [76] Dariusville (@ Potala Palace - 34,000, Lasa)
MD4: 2-0 @ [54] Liventia (@ Colonial Stadium, Orean)
MD5: 2-0 vs [1] Valanora (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium - 200,000, Hangyeong)
MD6: 1-0 @ [34] Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colosseum - 599,000, Atlantea)
MD7: 3-0 vs [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium - 80,000, Gwangju)
MQ: 1-4 @ Sorthern Northland (@ somewhere new and special, but I haven't a clue...)
MD8: @ 4-0 [42] West Zirconia (@ Manchester Street - 85,000, Moorcroft)
MD9: 2-0 vs [???] Sarzonia (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium - 50,000, Daebo)
MD10: 3-0 @ [76] Dariusville (@ Humphra Ignhorium - 2,000, some forest in Dariusville)
MD11: 3-1 vs [54] Liventia (@ Silk Road Stadium - 56,000, Seoan)
MD12: 5-1 @ [1] Valanora (@ Hatire Memorial - 60,000, Capri)
MD13: 2-1 vs [34] Taeshan (@ Tae-majt Park - 69,000, Pyeongyang)
MD14: 3-1 @ [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ worse than in a beer bottle)
PQ: 6-2 @ Your Worst Nightmare (@ Your Nightmare's House)
World Cup 44 - Group C
MD1: vs [31] Septentrionia (@ La Escalera Naranja, Onwere)
MD2: vs [9] Capitalizt SLANI (@ The Marble Ground, El din)
MD3: vs [21] Sorthern Northland (@ Estadio Arrigo Nacional, Arrigo)



MBC World Cup Special Report
http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t156/daehanjeiguk/news.png

And You Thought It Couldn't Get Any Worse...

HELL - If you thought playing "survival mode" in O Ale Ale was bad, oh, you missed nothing going to The Holy Empire. Or Hell. The warp going to the damned place was horrific. And then ... there were people all over the place armed with potatoes to their necks. And not just potatoes... It was horrific!

We first arrived to our accommodations to realize that no one there could speak a smack of any language that we knew how to speak. So we ended up writing our requests in an airy-fairy malarkey that no one knew how to read. We were escorted to a torture chamber where people were forced to confront their worst nightmares. A famous chef was left to watch his greatest masterpiece of cake and ice cream get crammed down the sink garbage disposal unit and the pieces burned in a giant incinerator. A perfect student was left to watch himself struggle on a test just to get an A-. A life insurance agent was left to watch all of his million-dollar insurees die the next day because a bird pooped on their chauffeur's eyes and caused a car crash. A citrus farmer was left to watch his fruit freeze in a horrible freak blizzard in the middle of summer. An irregular Casanova was forced to stand at the altar stating his vows "I do" to a priest next to a hideously FAT woman. A political leader was left chained to a bucket of grape juice while all of his hideous secrets and weaknesses were explained to a dumb mass public. A terrorist was forced to watch all of his terror on video tape, only to note that everyone was tossing flowers and singing "Kumbaya" at the end of the day. Why, I saw a horrible monster chained to the wall while little babies were picking at its horrific feet and pulling on its eyelids.

We tried to escape the room, but the hotel authorities locked it behind us and started to kill off the crowd. When you start killing people, people start to run around in circle like chickenless heads (and there were plenty of those...). There were people who were eaten by giant sentient blancmanges, people eating giant sentient blancmanges, the Han team losing the World Cup Final to some country of Non-RPing Noobs, and Scottish tennis players winning Wimbledon. A gigantic robot went around swiping people, while another larger gigantic robot was swiping the gigantic robots swiping people. Chaos in the bazillionth degree!

And then the loyal Han fans were forced to watch the Han lose to some country of Non-Rping Noobs (I already said that, yes...), by a horrendous 6-2 margin. What was worse was that Kim Daeeui was in goal, and Kim Yongji was our star striker. Ioshido Toki was dumber than a mule's ass (although to some fans, that wouldn't be quite a surprise as much as it would be an insult), and all of the players made the absolutely stupidest decisions that any team could contrive. And the fans were stuck in the see-no-evil-hear-no-evil-do-no-evil zone, and were thus forced into apathetic acquiescence with the horrible nature of the match's proceedings. Surprisingly, Kim Yongji did score two goals, but that was beside the point - the Han were utterly horrible against their worst nightmare, in their worst nightmare, as their worst nightmare.

The nightmare didn't end once everyone left. Surprisingly, no one got hurt (although mentally scarred if anything); but the World Cup Group Draws were on display for all to see. The Han were placed in Group C with the SLANI, Sorthern Northland, and Septentrionia. Our history with Sorthern Northland is varied as it is historic (our first international match in Oxen Cup 2); but that earlier mid-qualifier friendly may set the tone for how the teams get along (of course, the Han were drunk...). Against Septentrionia, we have a more assured record, with a 4-0 drubbing in World Cup 43. As for the SLANI... I think I must that the two have not met in the World Cup or in World Cup Qualifying, meaning that the 9th ranked side may still hold some surprises for the Han as they look to reach the Second Round for the third consecutive in as many cups. Of course, given our World Cup History, I can confidently say that World Cup 44 is not going to be our worst nightmare (as much as that self-proclaimed fiasco that was WC41). In fact, even if the Han exit WC44 losing every single match, this could not be the worst nightmare possible, because Bazalonia and Wentland are not in the same group (surprisingly, Wentland isn't even in the group).

Nonetheless, none of the teams in Group C are going to be push-overs. And if the Han escape Group C with all three matches in hand, the second best of Group D awaits us: an interesting mix between Ad'ihan, Bears Armed, Candelaria And Marquez (hosts, not to mention), and Dancougar - also intriguingly ABCD... Whatever the case, it's put enough concern upon Ioshido that he's decided to forestall his usual post-qualifier press conference until after the Han are done with the World Cup. Maybe he's still angry that the fans threw potatoes at him and the team.


PS>>>

Oh, just to say for the record, Stephen Deletraz should not be surprised to find a dozen heads in his bed tonight and half of the Krytenian police chasing him for the murder of some dozen cats and dogs. We don't eat our pets, and if anyone else should confuse that, we'll break more lawyers.


=== === ===

Pak Seongil was looking at his team at the outset of the "replay" match in Daejeon. To his surprise, Jang Yeongmin had managed to replicate nearly everything, to the extent that the referee was the same official from their outing in Ulsan. #10, who had served his match suspension the previous week, was back on the line-up. Indeed, everything in the works for a great game. All that they needed to do was win the damned thing. The team got up early to practice on the field, and Pak was the earliest of the bunch, kicking a few shots on goal before Bae came around. The sun had hardly risen.

"I knew that you'd be here," Bae said.

"It's good that you've come too," Pak replied, passing the ball to him. Bae took the ball and agreed to the simple passing exercise.

"So who's going to be starting today?" he asked.

"I haven't thought of that yet," Pak replied.

"You should, because we're going to be playing the team again."

"That's a good idea," Pak answered. He still a bit flustered at the opportunity to play against #10 again. He wasn't certain how he'd handle himself, and to be honest, he didn't want to know how he would handle it. But by that time, it was obvious what Bae was talking about when he mentioned the starting line-up. He knew the thing that Pak wasn't ready and willing to admit. He needed to be on the bench for at least the start of the game.

Kim Shinyok arrived just as the dawn was starting to break. It was surprising to find him there so early, especially he'd spent the previous evening late on the shift. "Kim!" Pak said. "You're here early."

Kim nodded. "I want to get my foot ready." He flipped out a ball from his bag and started practicing his long shots on goal. Pak nodded as he and Bae continued their passing routine. Bae didn't want to say it directly, but if Pak wasn't going to acknowledge, it was going to be difficult getting him to make the right decision.

"Have you thought about who would be best starting the match?" he asked.

"Kim's starting," Pak said, dodging the real point of their conversation.

Bae nodded. "That's good. He's got a good foot. Anyone else starting?"

Pak went out to outline everyone else on the starting line-up, one-by-one, such that he spent nearly thirty minutes describing what he was "thinking". Finally, it came to him - and deep inside, he knew that he didn't want to put him on. Bae took the last pass on the ball and grabbed it with his hand. "Pak..." he said, approaching him. "Are you starting?" It was direct.

Pak wanted to answer, but he couldn't. He shrugged instead. "I don't know yet."

"Do you want someone to help you make that choice for you?"

"I'll know when it comes to that time," Pak said.

"Well, like I said... things like this should be sorted before the match. You've got to know if you're starting."

This was a farce; they both knew that Pak wasn't going to start. It was more a matter of whether Pak was ready to admit it to himself. And what made it so hard? Pride? Pak could just as easily swallow it. Fear? Well, besides the "who else would take his spot?" argument, what did he have to fear? Even if, Bae was a good player. What did he fear then? Perhaps that the team would fall apart? No. Not so, the team has Bae, Yang, and if God forbid they were incapacitated and unavailable, Kim.

"Pak. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself," Bae then said. "You know that you shouldn't start."

"Why shouldn't I?" he said, turning defensive.

"It's because of #10."

"What's wrong with him?"

"You and he don't have a good record together on the pitch. Last game, he spit on you like 5 times. 6, if you're willing to say that the referee catching him is worth the effort. If he's on the field, this is going to turn into a competition between the two of you. It happened the last game, and thankfully, the game has two halves. The team needs you, yes. But not playing #10. We play football."

Pak wanted to smack him. It was almost an insult, but as much as it hurt, it was also true. Pak couldn't lie. Of the things he feared, he feared playing #10 again, not because #10 was a better player (which may have been the case), but because the competitiveness between the two of them.

"Stay off for the first half," Bae said, assertively. "If things are going coolly, you can come back in the second half. I think watching #10 will be a better exercise for us rather than playing him. And you're the better player than I am. We need you, Pak. We need you for the game, not just #10."

Bae handed him the ball. "Can we count on you?"

Pak nodded, not the least with a frown. The truth was disappointing. "You can count on me."

Jeruselem Government News

Marie's review of Group A and F

Hello folks, it's World Cup Vice-Captain Marie here. We've been placed in Group A with Valanora, Peisandros and The Holy Empire.

Group A
Valanora
Peisandros
The Holy Empire
Jeruselem


Peisandros qualified for the first time and they are in for a shock. New qualifiers get shockers of groups and this is not one to covert. while they have done well, all teams in the finals aren't wimps but this must be nightmare for them. They just scraped into the finals but have fallen into the frying pan. They must be away of the reputations of the other teams. Anyway, good luck to them but they will need every bit of that luck.

Jeruselem aka "whores" for some. We've had a good run for the 2nd half of qualification but the real test is now. Teams like Peisandros shouldn't be the issue, it's the other two teams. I don't expect miracles but we know what we need to do. Six points or maybe 5 can do the job. From now on, there's no soft games. Winning is everything from now on.

The Holy Empire - the team from that other place called the Dreamed Realm. One paper, we should beat them but funny things happen during the finals. The pride of the material plane vs Dream Realm is one the line here. We don't have a had record against this team, so we should get something against then.

Least but not last, the current world champs and winner of the last one too, them pointy eared Elves. If we can overcome this hurdle, we can do anything. Don't go expecting a win against this team though.

Group F
Bostopia
Lovisa
Wentland
Jeru FC

Jeru FC who barely made it, are up against it. Bostopia, Lovisa and Wentland are hard enough to beat for Jeruselem but for Jeru FC - it's going to be harder. Jeru FC actually almost make the 2nd round last time round but really, they'd need Bostopia to beat the others as well as score two wins. A draw and win isn't really enough unless one gets lucky. Lovisa are the Cannons best chance to gain three points.

I should just mention we are spending a lot of time in Caires, Candelaria And Marquez. We'll be staying at the infamous Knockers where I heard the best looking from C&M are there. Well, the best looking women from Jeruselem are going there to find out how they measure up! There was another Hotel Casino I wanted to go to but the coach prefers one with lots women with big boobs to one with Elven strippers. I don't see the issue, I mean the coach is dating a stripper. Maybe it will remind him of his girlfirend too much. Anyway, who needs Elven strippers when you can ask a Dallas girl.

QSPN.COM World Cup 44 Coverage

Groups Announced for World Cup 44
Qazox either ticked someone off or that same someone decided to punish the Pheonix for some reason. In Qazox' group, Group G, is Vephrall, Milchama, and Krytenia. The Pheonix and Krytenia met just 4 years ago with the teams battling to a 3-3 draw on MD2. Qazox lasted faced Milchama at World Cup 41, where Qazox earned a 1-0 win. Vephrall and Qazox have not yet met at any stage of any international competition, at least in football. By Pre-qualifying ranking, here's how Qazox' group looks like:

Vephrall- 7th
Qazox- 18th
Milchama- 10th
Krytenia- 29th

Not the easiest of groups to have to face, but can Qazox, who had one of the better offenses in qualifying, keep up the attacking pace? Or will they once again crash and burn?


SCHEDULE:
MD1: Vephrall
MD2: Milchama
MD3: Krytenia


The New Bruxen Casino has posted newly updated odds for each team winning the World Cup.


Group A
Valanora 4:1
Peisandros 85:1
The Holy Empire 25:1
Jeruselem 15:1


Group B
Starblaydia 12:1
Bazalonia 15:1
Kosovoe 80:1
The Archregimancy 16:1

Group C
Daehanjeiguk 15:1
Septentrionia 15:1
Capitalizt SLANI 7:1
Sorthern Northland 40:1

Group D
Dancougar 10:1
Bears Armed 80:1
Candelaria And Marquez 18:1
Ad’ihan 18:1

Group E
Cafundéu 9:1
Jaseuyeon 25:1
Yafor II 22:1
Kelssek 35:1

Group F
Bostopia 12:1
Lovisa 45:1
Wentland 15:1
Jeru FC 40:1

Group G
Vephrall 10:1
Qazox 25:1
Krytenia 20:1
Milchama 20:1

Group H
Demot 7:1
Taeshan 30:1
Tynelia 15:1
Kura-Pelland 15:1


Tommorrow QSPN.com's complete World Cup 44 preview and our staff's predictions.

Purple Knights Draw Tynelia, Kura Pelland, and Demot

Well for there second world cup apperance the Knights were placed in Group H of the 44th World
Cup. They will be playing there fourth, fifth, an sixth(at least) games in the actual World Cup and not just in qualifying. In there last World Cup the Knights went 0-1-2 and didn't advance past the first round. The Knights will look to keep the games low scoring, and should be able to use there size, speed, and spectacular defense to there advantage against some teams we may have never faced beofre, but we will at least show a knew style of football.

The three teams the Knights will be facing are Kura-Pelland, Demot, and Tynelia. I beleive the Knights have played the Arrows of KP before, well at least in football, but the others are new sides for the team to play. First the Knights will take on the Demotians. The Demot squad is from a protectorate state of Elves Security Forces, A. K. A. Valanora who we have played before. The Demotians are one of the top five in the world and the most the Knights will possibly get is a tie. In game to the Knights will be playing Kura-Pelland in a possiblt closer match. The two should look to fight the game out in a long battle for control. Finally the Knights will take on Tynleia, in the first cup the Taeshan Soccer Federation had tried to get a friendly with them, but the plans failed. Anyways the game should not be as close as the middle game, and the Knights will probally fall out of the cup.

As you may know the Knights have only been honored enough to make one World Cup apperance before, bu the Knights are no stangers to the big time. they have faced many important matches beofre and should look for there first win in the finals. the Knights from the frozen land of Taehsna should look to use their fitness to their advantage in theese game. But if that fails at least we will all know that the Knights tried thir best and at least made it to the cup, and thats better then most of the teams in the history of the sport can say.

VFA Headquarters, Raynor City

"ATTENTION!!!" the loud booming voice of the stout silver haired elf that served as the scribe and assistant to the VFA President yelled to the seven other members of the VFA inside the room. "This meeting is now in progress. I present to you, the organizer of this meeting, current VFA President and former Great Leader of Valanora, Tobias Raynor."

The young elf stepped through the polished double wood cherry doors that led directly to his new office. His brown hair was cut in a spiky fashion that showed anything but what was a serious young male looking to right a sinking ship that was the VFA. His white and navy jersey material shirt and blue jeans also did little to show the more serious, business like attitude that the man was intent on bringing to the Association. Still, he wanted everyone to be more loose and not as uptight as they had been under the previous few presidents, and decided to start his term that way, "Please Parfinion, there is no need for such an introduction. A "Here is Tobias." will do."

Parfinion Gatathmae, the scribe, grudgingly nodded to the new president and turned to the quill and paper before him. There was nothing his new boss could say that would detract from his love of his duties, and the thrill that he was doing something that in its own small way, bettered the nation.

Turning to the gathered members, most of them now bore slight wrinkles around their eyes, showing even their long time here on the material plane. For most of them were over the age of 400,000 years, an age that but a decade ago meant that they were entering their last 100,000 years of life. Yet with the purification of the Godwell, and the combining of the planes by their great diety, they had refound their immortality. Knowing this, and how it would likely create a cancer of complacency in their attitudes, the Great Leader began the work to be proactive in delay that change.

"I called you here today, on my first official day in charge of the Association as a result of the dire situation that the association has somehow landed itself in. Your last President was not only a manipulative wench who commited high treason against the country, but also found out to be a follower of the Goddess Melikki. I do not have to tell you the implications that this latest revelation has, as we all know far too well the dangers that the Goddess of destruction.

I am been thrust into this position against my will because of your failings to maintain the most profitable and most honored representation that our nation has to offer. You allowed corrupted and trully evil soul into your organization just for the sake of a better run front office and what you believed was progress. You sold your souls and integrity for the false sense of pride and are now reaping the consequences of your actions. Know that those that came before you must be wishing that Elune's blessing of immortality had come in their time, for they would have never allowed the Associaion to walk down this path. They would have easily seen the warning signs that Rodiel constantly put up that she was not an elf of good standing, was not pure in heart, and was not working in the best interests of this Assocation, or its' country.

As a result of your loss of vigilance and the shredding of your integrity, I must regrettably inform you that you are now all fired, apart from Parfinion Gatathmae and Laiiliel Dlaralina, who worked dilgently with me and the Senate in the investigation of Rodiel and her rise to power. Let this be a lessen to you and your families that sacrificing what makes you a person for what you call progress is folly and juvinelle. Now, leave this room before I call security to show you out."

Despite several stares and curses coming his way, Tobias could only smile as the fools departed the room. He looked to his silver hair scribe and then to the auburn haired female elf across the table. It was going to be difficult, but they were now solely in charge of righting the Association back into good standing, and hopefully back into the hearts of the fans.

"Well, I guess our first order of business is to organize the travelling party and restrictions that we must put in place, given the location of the Proper."

Laiiliel nodded her head and opened up a file that she had hid on her lap while Tobias had performed the act of cleaning out the trash. The file contained information of the first five million individuals applying for temporary passports so they could make the trip to Candelaria and Maquez. Under normal circumstances, the VFA would operate in a first come, first serve manner for the three million people that they would allow as the official traveling party, but with strained diplomatic relationship with the isles, this was not a normal circumstance.

"Well, obviously most of the Navy Wave can't be allowed to go, they are just too passionate, even if they are non-violent...We're going to be here all night aren't we?"

"And every night until a week before the kickoff of that first match if it calls for it. We've got Mount Sumarja ahead of us, a three week climb, and only two weeks worth of supplies. Time to work miracles and pray to Elune our judgement be true."

OOC: Yeah, you're not dreaming: I'm RPing!

IC:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v338/Oli55/Lenationalheader.png
Economic crisis special: CF 0.1093

Chronique Humoristique de Jeris Beaucoup
Spécial: Coupe du Monde
As you might know, Septentrionia has found a way to qualify for the World Cup. This time, the ASS could not throw money at the other associations to let them win, so it was kind of surprising. Anyway, les Gars du Nord find themselves in Group C, as in Groupe Calice (OOC: Québec expletive (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quebec_French_profanity)), because they're not likely to go far in this group. Although they could exploit some of their opponents' weaknesses, but this will require a proper team. Here's a small list of weaknesses they have:


Daehanjeiguk
Their main weakness is that they fall in terrorist traps. For instance, someone who would prank them could tell a Han (not "eh", "Han") that they are a nation of terrorists and they would befriend you. However, a good way to make them mad is to refer to their slinted eyes or to pronounce your "r"s as "l"s. I tlied err... tried it once and they didn't really like me.

Capitalizt SLANI
Ah... them... Their main weakness is that they fall for everything money-related. In that way, Capitalizts are like Cafundelenses, except that they are much more greedy and that they'll also accept a bet anytime. They also have a great tendency to stick their tongues out, so cutting them might be a good idea as well, unless you don't want to deal with blood on the floor. However, their blood has exactly 10.93 grammes of gold in it, so if you need any money, ask them.

Sorthern Northland
Ah, the Snortherns. As crazy as Bostopians, minus the ghost and the crappy beer parts. They're quite friendly, in that they are also commies (yes, I'm looking at you, Mouvement Laïque) and that they like beer. They claim to be celtic, so any mention of an English-based nation (most notably Starblaydia and Bostopia) is going to be met with anger. As well, a good way to ensure they don't win is to cut their beer supplies (and that also means firing Jimmy Sheridan if needed), because we all know: Sortherners can't function properly without their daily ration of beer. That or you can give them Landsberg. They tend to react badly to crap beer.


And I will conclude today's article with a message to fellow journalist from West Starblaydia, Stephen Deletraz. Septentrionia is a very interesting island. Remember that it's where the throwing of pistachio nuts was made legal during World Cup matches the first. As you might (not) be wondering, Béatrice Mercure is trying to get reelected in her riding for the next election and she even played the game: she said that if she won, she would give a one-year supply of pistachio nuts to a charity organisation of her choice. Finally, may I remind you the score of the Third Place Playoff match in the 31st World Cup where Oliverry won 5-0 against your country? Is that the source of your hate against Frenchies? We'll never know.

Now, my fellow citizens, I wish you a good day at the popular soup, and good luck to find a job (also: vote for the good party, the Parti de la Stupidité Volontaire).

QSPN.COM World Cup 44 Coverage

WORLD CUP 44 Predictions

John Haveland (QSPN.com/footballnet Lead Writer)

GROUP A
Valanora
Jeruselem
Group B
Starblaydia
The Archregimancy
Group C
Septentrionia
Capitalizt SLANI
Group D
Dancougar
Ad’ihan
Group E
Cafundéu
Jaseuyeon
Group F
Bostopia
Wentland
Group G
Vephrall
Milchama
Group H
Demot
Kura-Pelland

ROUND OF 16:
S1: Valanora v The Archregimancy
S2: Capitalizt SLANI v Dancougar
S3: Starblaydia v Jeruselem
S4: Ad’ihan v Septentrionia
S5: Jaseuyeon v Bostopia
S6: Milchama v Demot
S7: Wentland v Cafundéu
S8: Kura-Pelland v Vephrall

Quarter-Finals:
Q1: Valanora v Capitalizt SLANI
Q2: Jeruselem v Septentrionia
Q3: Jaseuyeon v Milchama
Q4: Cafundéu v Vephrall

Semi-Finals:
SF1: Capitalizt SLANI v Jeruselem
SF2: Jaseuyeon v Cafundéu

Third Place Play-Off:
Jeruselem v Jaseuyeon

FINAL:
Capitalizt SLANI VS. Cafundéu

Michelle Wettin (QSPN.com/footballnet Head Editor)

GROUP A
Jeruselem
Valanora
Group B
Bazalonia
The Archregimancy
Group C
Capitalizt SLANI
Daehanjeiguk
Group D
Dancougar
Candelaria And Marquez
Group E
Cafundéu
Yafor II
Group F
Wentland
Bostopia
Group G
Vephrall
Qazox
Group H
Kura-Pelland
Demot

ROUND OF 16:
S1: Jeruselem v The Archregimancy
S2: Capitalizt SLANI v Candelaria And Marquez
S3: Bazalonia v Valanora
S4: Dancougar v Daehanjeiguk
S5: Cafundéu v Bostopia
S6: Vephrall v Demot
S7: Wentland v Yafor II
S8: Kura-Pelland v Qazox

Quarter-Finals:
Q1: Jeruselem v Capitalizt SLANI
Q2: Valanora v Dancougar
Q3: Bostopia v Vephrall
Q4: Wentland v Qazox

Semi-Finals:
SF1: Capitalizt SLANI v Dancougar
SF2: Vephrall v Qazox

Third Place Play-Off:
Dancougar v Qazox

FINAL:
Capitalizt SLANI v Vephrall


QSPN.com FANATION (Top two voting % of teams in Group Stage)

GROUP A
Valanora 97.8%
Jeruselem 52.8%
Group B
Starblaydia 82.9%
Bazalonia 52.3%
Group C
Capitalizt SLANI 92.3%
Daehanjeiguk 40.8%
Group D
Ad’ihan 53.7%
Dancougar 51.9%
Group E
Cafundéu 77.1%
Yafor II 43.9%
Group F
Bostopia 66.3%
Wentland 65.9%
Group G
Krytenia 52.7%
Qazox 46.1%
Group H
Tynelia 55.9%
Kura-Pelland 54.7%

ROUND OF 16:
S1: Valanora v Bazalonia (82.9%- 18.1%)
S2: Capitalizt SLANI v Dancougar (67.9%- 32.1%)
S3: Starblaydia v Jeruselem (51.8%- 48.2%)
S4: Ad’ihan v Daehanjeiguk (53.4%- 46.6%)
S5: Cafundéu v Wentland (60.5%- 39.5%)
S6: Krytenia v Kura-Pelland (53.9%- 46.1%)
S7: Bostopia v Yafor II (58.7%- 41.3%)
S8: Tynelia v Qazox (64.2%- 35.8%)

Quarter-Finals:
Q1: Valanora v Capitalizt SLANI (50.8%- 49.2%)
Q2: Jeruselem v Daehanjeiguk (56.4%- 43.6%)
Q3: Cafundéu v Kura-Pelland (67.3%- 32.7%)
Q4: Bostopia v Qazox (52.7%- 47.3%)

Semi-Finals:
SF1: Capitalizt SLANI v Jeruselem (68.5%- 31.5%)
SF2: Cafundéu v Qazox (60.1%- 39.9%)

Third Place Play-Off:
Jeruselem v Qazox (55.3%- 44.7%)

FINAL:
Capitalizt SLANI v Cafundéu (71.9%- 28.1%)

Count: Kaye, where's the nearest church?
Kaye: There's a chapel in the army base.
Count: No, a real church. Not a concrete bunker dressed as a church.
Kaye: Actually, it was an ammo bunker.

Count: It was a bit funny locking for a chapel.
Kaye: There's one three blocks away. What's wrong coach?
Count: Um, I'm just going to get some more divine help.
Kaye: What's wrong with asking the local priest on the base?

Count: He's drunk most of the time.
Kaye: Can I come along?
Count: Don't you have duties today?
Kaye: I don't mind football duties but it's cleaning toilet day for me.

Count: I see why you don't like that.
Kaye: I dunno, none of the others get cleaning toilet duties here.
Count: I don't control your non-football duties.
Kaye: Never mind.

Count: Thanks for the help anyway.
Kaye: That's OK, you treat me with respect ... you like I'm a person.
Count: You are in the army, everyone is just a number here.
Kaye: I'll go clean the toilets now. Have fun coach.

<Later>

Count: You look tired.
Kaye: Oh that, I had to wash all the bloody tanks.
Count: Don't you just hose them down like a car?
Kaye: No, I had clean the bloody tracks.

Count: Never mind, we're going overseas soon.
Kaye: I like going overseas.
Count: But one day you'll be overseas as a soldier.
Kaye: I'll be out before then.

Count: Anyway, you've got a job to do still.
Kaye: Don't worry coach, I'll be doing my best for my team.
Count: That's all I ask, everyone does their best and tries their best. I don't expect everyone to become superstars.
Kaye: I just want to be a normal person.

1st ranked, 13th, 20th and, well, us.

Peisandros have drawn a fantastic group for the World Cup. They have the worst team in the World, Valanora; Jeruselem who really struggled in pool play; and The Holy Empire, which should be a thoroughly enjoyable game filled with happiness.

As coach Alexander Pappas watched the draw, he felt over-the-moon.

"Well. What the fuck are we supposed to do? I mean, I'm happy we qualified, but really? This shit?! Fuck off."

He then got angrier.

"I guess it's not too bad. We're just happy to be here. I guess our aim is to minimise the damage and perhaps pick up a point.... To be honest I'll be happy if I get all my players back to Peisandros alive."

The players' reaction was very unexpected.

Halkias: "Fuck."

P. Sisinis: "Umm, yeah."

L. Sisinis: "I'm a little scared. Paris, can we go home now?"

G. Theotokis: "Fuck."

Bion: "I'm really excited.... Seriously!! .... Okay yeah, this sucks."

Finally, after a team meeting, the players became more worried.

C. Theotokis: "I guess we just have to make the most of the experience.. Going to be tough though."

Nikolaidis: "I reckon I'll get a hat-trick against those elves, score one against the whores then dominate my worst nightmare by having four goal assists."

Xanthis: "Chin up boys, this is an honour."

Back in Peisandros, the news was welcomed. As one punter put it, 'we're definitely going to win'. It must be said though, after Peisandros convincingly got through their qualifying group, it's no surprise that they have such an easy group. The BoF runner-ups have been in great form lately and should expect an easy time.

News from around the world has people giving Peisandros every chance of making it through to the second round. Infact it's such a surprise Peisandros are not favourites. One person has said Peisandros has an 85:1 chance of going through. What a ridiculous statement that is. Clearly 85 is far too high.

Please turn off your TVs and don't follow the Sandrian football team through World Cup 44.

Demot Daily ~ Into The Fire

With the side already making its' way into the heart of Kura-Pelland, as the side prepares for the World Cup Proper, the fans booking their trips, and the World salivating for the spectacle, we find ourselves in a strange situation. For the first time in many years, we will be among the favorites for taking the title, the hunted instead of the hunters. The last time we were in such a situtation was following World Cup 37, when we found ourselves coming off a second place finish. The situation is the exact same as we have just came off a second place finish against the might that is Valanora. We had a near flawless qualifying campaign, with just a single loss during the fourteen match marathon. This is a testament to how far we have come from when we first entered the world of competitive football, when we were the minnows in World Cup 30.

So what does the gazalle do when it hears the advance of the stealthy cheetah? Wisdom would say that we should make the escape while luck still favors us, escape from a critical blow that would like send us to our deaths. All things say to make the dart away, to flee and live another day, a day when things would be more advantagous to our cause. I say nay, let the spears come flying forth. We must stand up as every great nation does in their rise to glory, and defy all the odds that will be placed before us on that great path. To stare adversity in the face, and then spit in it's eye is what will be needed in order to say we have the courage and the right to call ourselves great.

Our oppenents are fierce, but not overwhelming in the least, and we should easily secure progression before the final match in the group. The fools of the Taeshite are soo confused about their sourroundings that they still believe us to be under some political arrangement with Valanora. Foolish it is then that they have not found out that we had our independence from the country nearly a century before. They had to squeak into the tournament on the final matchday during the qualifiers in a group where they should have easily secured progression much earlier. This all points to our in form squad rolling through the out of form oppisition and an easy three points in the first match.

Following that match, we'll likely be getting a reeling Tynelia side looking for a rebound and a little revenge for us knocking them out of contention in World Cup 42. All Tynelia needed in that third match in the group was a victory over our winless side to top the group and move on. Yet the side was fighting for pride, as we had already been eliminated, and sprung a 3-2 upset on the defensive powerhouse. Our fortunes have changed since, as we are now the powerhouse that people are looking to topple, and Tynelia has sleptwalk through the past few stages, culminating in their humilating loss against Lovisa in the knockout round last tournament. With qualification clearly within our grasp, we will send the Tynelians out and book our progression with a close encounter that we edge out.

That leaves the last day match up against cohost as a useless fixture, apart from deciding who wins the group. With both sides expected to have secured progression, one might suspect that they would take the match lightly, reserving the first team for the dangerous second round fixture that would await them. If this does play out, then expect a rather lifeless draw that serves both sides' interests and keeps the injury factor out of the equation for the latter stages. If for some reason the starting elevens get the run out, then a shootout to entertain the fans is surely in the making, given how offensive the Dynamo are naturally, and the bitterness that being regionmates produces. In such a situation, I would see the Dynamo coming away victors in a 4-3 or 5-4 scoreline, much to the chagrin of their hosts and getting a potentially easier fixture in the next round.

Yes, I have been as so bold as to predict a perfect record in the group stage, dispsing of our oppisition with relative ease and grace. Yet when you are ranked second in the world and have had the tendancy to go on amazing runs in this most amazing of competitions, you have earned the right to be so bold and daring. It is the the job of your fellow competitiors to step up their efforts to defeat you, not yours to bring down your tactics to their level of competitiveness. Doing so not only lessens your chances to emerge with a results, but it also does multiple disservices. It disservices your oppenents who are expecting the best competition that they can get, it disservices your own squad in undermining their efforts for points, and it disservices your fans, who expect you to go out and try to win every single match as if it was your last. That is needed for us become great, that is needed for us to become CHAMPIONS!

Article by Lilla Ormani

When told of Baptism of Fire Cup finalist Peisandros manager Alexander Pappas's reaction to drawing Valanora, Jeruselem and The Holy Empire in Group A of the World Cup finals, Sarzonia manager Brian Wilson laughed.

"He's upset about drawing a Group of Death in the World Cup finals?" he asked. "I'd love to trade places with him." Wilson is well aware that Sarzonia very nearly forced its way to the World Cup proper after a 13-cup absence brought about in part by his country's Great Isolation (http://nswiki.net/index.php?title=Sarzonian_Great_Isolation). He's also aware that Sarzonia played to two draws against world No. 1 and two-time defending World Cup champions Valanora.

Sarzonia had played Jeruselem in World Cup qualifying during its inaugural World Cup effort, earning a 2:2 draw against Jeruselem in World Cup XVI after dominating the fourth Baptism of Fire Cup. Sarzonia vaulted into that World Cup as the 72nd ranked side and were only eliminated on the final match day. This Sarzonia team was expected to be cannon fodder for even mediocre sides in Group 2, but finished with a winning record of 4-7-3 and 19 points, losing out on qualifying due to a three-way tiebreaker.

Even if Sarzonia were to be assigned to a World Cup Group of Death against the likes of the Valanora, the Holy Empire and Jeruselem, Wilson said he would have begun preparations undeterred.

"We had, and have, nothing to lose," Wilson said. "Even if we'd lost 7:0 to Valanora, no one in their right minds would have expected us to go there and defeat the world's number one ranked side." When informed that Rymerian Soccer Association president Scooter Boscoe said he would have expected a Sarzonia win, Wilson laughed and said, "that's why I said no one in their right minds."

As for the Stars, Wilson said his team would begin preparations for the 25th Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football in a familiar position as massive underdogs. When asked if his team would be considered for a spot in the Cup of Harmony, Wilson demurred.

"I'm not responsible for deciding who gets invited to the Cup of Harmony," he said. "It depends upon the criteria the host nation or host nations use. Frankly, I might choose the best sides to miss out on World Cup qualifying. I don't think we'd qualify for that. Having said that, if we are invited to the Cup of Harmony, I certainly wouldn't turn that opportunity down."

When asked what he learned about his first World Cup campaign as a national team manager, Wilson paused for a moment.

"Stay the course," he said. "The World Cup qualifying campaign is a long and arduous one. I'm still learning. They say great players struggle as coaches because not every player they have is as great as they were. I really learned patience from this World Cup qualifying campaign."

So what happens if the Stars don't make it into World Cup XLV? Or if they become cannon fodder there the way they were expected to in World Cup XLIV?"

"It's part of the process," Wilson said. "Sometimes, a building team is going to take a step backward before it can move forward. That's part of life. We lost all three matches in the ninth Cup of Harmony before winning the 10th one. We did better in the eighth Cup than we did in the ninth one. That's part of life. If the Incorporated Football Federation is patient enough, we could find ourselves back in contention in about five cups."

First Round Picks To Advance

Well its time for the Semi-Annual Taeshani picks for the 44th World Cup Final. I will be producing an akward group of teams witch i beleive shalll qaulify for the second round, and th eknockouts. Just so you know based on my speech earlier and the way I have written this paragraph be assured that betting on my picks may look, an sound good, but will most likely cause you major emotional damage.

First in Group A. I have Valanora and Jeruselem advancing past Peisiandros and the ageless Holy Empire team. In Group B i have Starblaydia and Bazalonia advancing over The Archregimancy and Kosovoe. In Group C Daehanjieguk, and Capitalizt Slani are my Predictions to advance. And in the final group in Candelaria I predict that the home Candelarians, and Dancougar will advance past Ad'han and Bears Armed easily.

Over in Kura Pelland where the Knights will be playing, Group E should be easily handled by Cafundeu, and Yafor 2 sending home Jaseuyeon and Kelssek home. In Group F Bostopia and Wentland are predicted to advance over Jeru FC, and Lovisa. Group G shall result in Vephrall and Qazox advancing past Milchama and Krytenia in what i predict to be my group of death over many who predict group A to be. Fianlly in the Knights group I predict that Tynelia, and Demot will easily advance past our beloved Knights, and may have a lot more trouble from the co hosts Kura Pelland.

Know the world knows my and hereby what many people at the Inquirer believe will occur during this 44th World Cup to be held in Candelaria and Marquez, and Kura Pelland. We are sure to love the stay in Kura Pelland as we have never been there beofre. Some of us have stayed befor in the illustrious halls for a day or to, but a monthlong vacation is in order, and if anything perhaps a later flight home shall be in order if anything goes are way.

Times of Chelmar >>> Opinion >>> Sport >>> Football/Soccer >>> Velastros >>> January 19, 2008

Looking at the Squad

Anyway, since I needed to get another column in before my editor decided that yelling at me would have been fun, I have decided to run through the Yaforite squad somewhat, and perhaps even do some analysis. With the World Cup starting soon, it's relatively important that we have a squad somewhat up to par (especially with an experienced manager at the helm, one could argue that success ought to come easily), and since I apparently have some sort of intelligent opinion (although one could rather easily argue the alternative), and since our squad is actually somewhat different from the last few cups, I think that this column might actually do well with a bit of a description about what the Yaforite team has to offer in its inevitable trip to and from Kura-Pelland (unfortunately not Candelaria and Marquez, sadly).

Starting in goal, naturally, with Gerrin Sidan. I've never really been impressed with Sidan, and given the awesome form of Imon Juile in the LIDYT itself (in his last season, of course), I'm not entirely comfortable with Sidan being back there. Yes, he play abroad in Cafundeu, and yes, he's regarded as one of the best players on his thoroughly-mid-table-Cafundelense-side, but I'm not sold on his talent. He's a shot-stopper, but not a goal-stopper. What I mean by that is that he can block occasional shots, but he's not a great blocker and his talent really doesn't include goalkeeping - he's just a big body, that's all. Tarakaran Divanlir, behind him, is better than most back-up goalkeepers out there, but talent-wise, he's also just a big body.

On the left side, the pairing of Vanis Kariid and Damer Vidanel returns again. They seem to complement each other rather well - Kariid is big and strong, Vidanel has the abilities to anticipate passes and cut them out from in front of players. Both are in their late twenties at least, so I'm not comfortable with how this pairing might continue into the future, but they're okay. On the right side, Turkarin Varanias finally gets a shot over the insanely-old-I'm-not-even-sure-why-he-is-on-the-team-goddammit-Nilan Bahsir. Varanias is a good crosser and all, but he's displayed some problems dealing with stronger players on his side of the field, so he might not be that good an addition in terms of physicality.

In the center, the pairing of the skilled Lhatis Riegan and powerful Herod Accursas continues. They've been playing together for so long that I don't really think that I need to go into their playing styles. Two new backups emerge in what has been a merry-go-round of a position, as Anamer Tascarnin and Sariis Y'van are both big and rather tough, and both can pick up good strikers. Solid players - I wouldn't rank either at the top level of player internationally, but certainly they both pass the line that requires them to have solidity. I'm comfortable with the bench in that regard, as it gives us some extra muscle in terms of set pieces, which is always nice late in the game, or in extra time, or something of the sort.

In the two-defensive-midfielder framework, Maharta Kiranar is the fluid passing player who really is much more of an attacker, while Mosada Juhan is the strong marking player who really is a lot more of a defender. I've been amazed at how well Kiranar has taken to playing a defensive midfielder position (part of the influence of his club teammate Wen Tze-shu, I would hazard a guess), but he has been a lot more of a commander back there. Nice work for him. Behind them is a ultra-talent younger Riegan brother, who's already established the center at Toralen when Sebard retires. He's very skilled, with both creativity and strength, but at this point, he's really all potential. Next to him, the solid Dagor Rfa'an is a surprise, but he's been the fulcrum of Caralian's side, so I can't really disagree with that selection.

On the left wing, Otavias is a mainstay, and Dashkir has made a lot of impact behind him. On the right, Valinial is certainly very good, but I can see why Chelmar sold low on him. His strength and strong kicking is much more suited to an individualistic league and his passing abilities don't really suit the LIDYT. Behind him, Ras Rataran is rather similar, with the wonderful ability to send free kicks either onto the head of his players or into the net of his opponents, but his passing abilities are also somewhat sub-par. The CMSC is certainly a really, really good league, but I'm somewhat leery of two midfielders who are foreign-based playing with a load of LIDYT players, with an offensive guru in charge. Recipe for disaster, if you ask me.

In the middle, Ilsinha has all the talent in the world, but she can really be shoved around by someone physical, which might cause her to mess up, and Danilo Silva is even worse. Up top, Dariegan has developed into a star striker (I'm not sure how), but he will still be shoved around as well. The backups, J'dankor and Ya'haan are both rather big, but skilled, but J'dankor is really too slow to take on most foreign sides (but you never know, they said that about Insfield as well), and Ya'haan is really an unproven commodity, though I'm comfortable saying that he might just be one of the best ever in that particular department.

So, the main pattern is that the offense can't handle strength, the defense can't handle extreme creativity, and the goalkeepers can't handle skilled shots. Great. Our team can't handle Cafundeu. Oh, and look at the groups! But, to be fair, a pair of 1-1 draws aren't bad, and this team was dynamite during qualifying. Scoring in bunches, and with the exception of one terrible game against a number of bears, playing excellent defense, as well.

Tomorrow I'll take a look at LIDYT players to watch out for, like Toni Flintus, Joel Sbaïz, and some others.

"...and we're back, with newly-appointed Starblaydi AOCAF Cup Manager Bazrador Drakkiborgo. Tell me, Bazrador, how do you see Starblaydia's World Cup chances?"

"Weel laddie," the Dwarf replied, "ah cannae ken why there be people sayin' Starblaydia will nae qualify from t'group - ah spyed thaat in a coople o'newspapers - when ye look at wut they've dun t'them teams over t'last few years."

"Do you mean," the local interviewer said, cutting in as quickly as possible so any Candelarians watching wouldn't start to get suspicious of his guest's accent, "the four-two win over The Archregimancy during the Mike Sarzo Memorial Tournament, as well as the five-two win over them during the Group Stage of World Cup forty-two?"

"Aye," Bazrador said, taking a deep breath, "'n'ah wud ken aboot that wun..."

"Of course," the interviewer cut in again, "as you played in that very match in Septentrionia. Matchday Three, if I remember correctly."

"Aye, an t'Bazalonians..."

"Met Starblaydia in World Cup forty-three's Group Stage, just four years ago, again a match in which you played," the interviewer smiled nervously, wondering if the camera was low enough to make sure the Dwarf didn't look like a... well, Dwarf, "one-nil the result was that day, with a young Lotar Kaii'n providing the Starblaydi goal. And rather good it was too."

"T'were average," Bazrador said, "'ee were twennywun..."

"Just twenty-one?" The interviewer sounded as if someone had just said that Kaii'n was actually a dreamed transgendered armed bear blancmange hybrid in a human suit, "Incredible! He's twenty-five now, of course, in his prime: should he be in the starting eleven?"

"Weel," Bazrador said, though the manic glint in the interviewer's eye told him that he'd be interrupted very shortly, "tis a wee shame that Valrauncion, t'el..."

"Te- Tu, er, tall as he is," the interviewer was scraping the bottom of the barrel, here, "tall as he is, he moves well for a big fellow - good feet."

"Er, aye." Bazrador felt more comfortable giving short answers now.

"And of course, the other team, debutant qualifiers Kosovoe, were the subjects - or 'victims', if you will - of Starblaydia's record victory in the twenty-third AOCAF," he turned to the camera, "that's the Atlantian Oceania Confederation of Association Football Cup, of course, the team that Bazrador has just taken control of, where the victory was nine goals to one - quite incredible. Iskara Daii sarlet Lubii with a hat-trick, the legendary Jaime Kuu - who of course played in..."

He tailed off. His wandering mouth had got him into trouble this time, he was sure. Trying to fill all the space with his own talking, he'd slipped into his commentator's neutral gear and gone with it. Now he was stuck, if only he could find a away out.

"White boots?" Bazrador offered with a shrug, "Long sleeves?"

"The number five shirt!" The interviewer yelled, "that was it! Number five. Unusual for a winger, eh? Must be that unusual club structure in... that team he played for."

"Raynor Ci..."

"Moving on," he was getting the hang of this now, surely, as his director made the the frantic circular motion of someone who needs to wind their car window down - or up - "do you think Starblaydia can go all the way. to the Final?"

"Aye..?"

"Well then, there you have it! He's confident, are you? My thanks to our guest, the deceptively tall Bazrador Drakkiborgo - I tell you he looks short on the telly but you meet him and boy is he a tall fellow! We'll, sort of average man height really but-"

The credits rolled on the sports show. The interviewer thought he might get a promotion. Perhaps he'd now get an interview with something that didn't require him to have a tetanus jab beforehand.

THE MAMMOTH COMPENDIUM OF WORLD CUP LIES

World Cup 44 Edition

By Theodore Ducaso

These things that I write are all true; thus says Theodore Ducaso.


The worst nightmare of Valanora is my left knee


It's said that the worst nightmare of Peisandros is the full moon on tuesdays.


The Holy Empire has no worst nightmares, only dreams for the unwary.


Jeruselem's worst nightmare is a locker room of chastity belts (this might actually be true).


Some say that Starblaydia's worst nightmare is that some things might still be true.


Bazalonia's worst nightmare is a herd of rutting bazalope mightily fornicating their way through the vast forests of that great land.


Could it be that Kosovoe's worst nightmare was once revealed to a Chinese dwarf called Gerald?


The worst nightmare of the Archregimancy's national squad was last seen buying a pepperoni pizza in Bostopia.


Daehanjeiguk's worst nightmare is a big fluffy panda. A really, really cute one called Mr. Kim the Big Fluffy Panda from Panda Land.


It is whispered in the circles of the arcane that Septentrionia's worst nightmare takes human form every five years.


Capitalizt SLANI's worst nightmares offer an embarrassment of riches.


Who knows what secrets lurk in the heart of Sorthern Northland's worst nightmares? The snowman knows....


Dancougar's worst nightmare feasts on my recipe for Jamaican goat curry.


I would tell you what Bears Armed's worst nightmare is, but then I'd have to kill you.


The worst nightmare of Candelaria And Marquez is a bit too obvious, really; no point in telling you what you already know.


In Ad’ihan, all worst nightmares must one day surely come true.


Cafundéu's worst nightmare is that, somewhere, Elvis is still alive.


The Jaseuyeon federation of the UCS has demanded that it too should be assigned a worst nightmare.


What is Yafor II's worst nightmare? The loaves or the fishes?


In the happy land of Kelssek, total strangers often share their worst nightmares with each other.


In the Vurt language of Bostopia, 'worst nightmare' actually means 'bunny rabbit'.


The prophets say that the national worst nightmare of Lovisa is secretly coded into this very sentence.


Wentland once had a worst nightmare, but it was dismissed for being sadly ineffective.


The surreal worst nightmares of Jeru FC believe themselves to be herring.


Vephrall's worst nightmares having nothing more to say.


The worst nightmare of most people in Qazox is that one day they will be forced to spell 'phoenix' correctly.


There are those who believe that the worst nightmare of Krytenia shall only be revealed in the arockalypse, on the day of rockening.


Milchama's worst nightmare is truly known to be only blue.


There are people in Demot who believe that there are no such things as worst nightmares; they shall be reckoned among the damned.


The government of Taeshan once gave its people a week's holiday from their worst nightmare.


The worst nightmares of Tynelia are only for the undeserving.


Follow me to Kura-Pelland, where your worst nightmare runs a hot dog stand.

"...but tell us, Father! Tell us what you think about this group in which we have been drawn!"

"Why do you need me to share my opinion with you, young Gleb? Is it not enough for you to put your trust in the Lord? Does it truly matter who we must play? Is it not enough to play the game, knowing that the final result must always be just?"

"Yet, Father, hath not our Lord and Saviour given us free will, that we may play the game as we see fit, and that though the Lord may hath ordained the result at the final whistle, still there may be injustice in the match, just as there is in all of Ordinary Reality?"

"Well replied, my son. Perhaps then the time has come to look at each team in the group in turn.

First, there was Starblaydia.

Which of you, finding that you must play Starblaydia, will say unto them by and by, when they hath come onto the field, 'come and play with us?' And will not rather say unto them, 'Make ready wherewith we may play, and gird thyself, and serve us, till we have scored five against thee; and only afterward thou shalt come and play?' Doth we thank Starblaydia because they did the things that were commanded them? I trow not. So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do.

Then, surely are Bazalonia also in our group.

Suppose one of you believes the Bazalonian squad to be your friend, and he goes to them at midnight and says, 'Friends, lend me three loaves of bread, because we hunger before the pre-match warm-up, and have nothing to eat.' Then the Bazalonian answers, 'Don't bother me. The door is already locked, and my squad are warming up. I cannot get up and give you anything.' I tell you, though he will not get up and give you the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man's boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs. So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who shoots, the goal will be opened, and the way to victory shall be revealed.

The final team in our group is said to be Kosovoe.

They are held to be the weakest team in the group. Yet what squad, having ten silver coins, if they lose one coin, doth not light a lamp and sweep the house and seek diligently until they find it? And when they has found it, they call together their friends and accompanying national team officials, saying, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin which I had lost.' Just so, I tell you, there is joy before the angels of God when the weakest team in the group repents."


And though few in the squad had any idea what Fr. Anthony was going on about, or why he was misquoting our Saviour's parables, the legend of his wisdom nonetheless continued to grow.

National Qazian Language Institute

To Theodore Ducaso:

Derar sir, in your most recent composition of 'THE MAMMOTH COMPENDIUM OF WORLD CUP LIES', which is required reading within these halls for freshmen, you claim that, and I quote: 'The worst nightmare of most people in Qazox is that one day they will be forced to spell 'phoenix' correctly.'

We beg to differ. For you see in modern Qazian, the word 'phoenix' translates as: Þoenix; which many English speakers mis-translate as Penix, which sounds like a human body part that most polite people do not speak out aloud. So hence the spelling of Þeonix as Pheonix in English. Peonix, as far as we can assertain has no un-couth misinterpretations in the English language.

As for the main part of your claim, We have no fears, other than not ever winning a World Cup, as you well know. Since Qazox itself is still within this night-mare currently, any other nightmare pales in comparison.

Signed,
Professor Kraig Shellty, PhD.
Professor Craig ßellty

THE MAMMOTH COMPENDIUM OF WORLD CUP LIES

World Cup 44 Edition

A World Famous Cryptologist deciphers the latest in "The Mammoth Compendium of World Cup Lies" to determine that the Greatest World Cup Nightmare is Theodore Ducaso wearing only a chastity belt giving an elven individual a left knee on a Tuesday evening under a full moon, buying a hot-dog from a giant fluffy blue panda in Kura-Pelland, who was talking talking to a Chinese gnome named Gerard, who just bought a pepperoni pizza in Bostopia from Elvis, who had the odd scent of Jamaican goat curry on his breath; all the while, Ducaso is rendering to a horde of rutting Bazalopes some loaves and herring fish, which a bunny rabbit manages to eat from all of them (the Bazalopes go chasing the bunny rabbit throughout the Bazalonian countryside, somehow spreading their genetic material as they travel hither), and a semantics professor arguing that "phoenix" is really some horrible substantive phallus to a giant snowman waving a white flag. The World Famous Cryptologist also noted that it was that odd fifth year of the Septentrionian cycle.

We hope that all people summarily forget that they ever read this nonsense and go back to their normal daily routines of whatever it is that they normally do in a daily routine.

“…nd in Group D, Ad’ihan… Finally now into the Kura-Pellandi groups, and in Group E we have Yafor 2… Group F, and it’s Lo–”

“Well… It’s nice we didn’t get Yafor 2 in half our, isn’t it? That’s some comfort…”

“Is it…?”

“Yeah… It’s always a right bugger to explain the ‘2’. What sort of country has a ‘2’ in their name? It’s just daft. ‘New Yafor’, now that’d work… But ‘Yafor 2’ is right weird. Used t’rename ‘em New Yafor, in the press, back in the day… ‘Till the Yaforite community kicked up a skunk, anyhow. Good days, they were. Simpler. No bears… Elves at a premium. Hadn’t really had much t’do with the Dreamed Realm back then, or little Scottishy fellas. Or football-playing vegetables… Better times.”

“…at concludes the draw for World Cup 44, joi–”

“Well, that’s just cheered everyone up, thanks Colin!”

“Sorry, Minister. It’s just… In the parlance of you outworlders: we’re, like, so totally screwed, aren’t we?”

The rag-tag assortment of beings that made up the visible portion of the Ministry for Remedial Teaching sighed collectively. Jenny Harris MP attempted to balance an empty coffee cup on her head, before sinking sadly into a swivelly chair. A nearby Debbie shuffled some papers nervously.

“I don’t suppose they’d consider hats, would they?”

“What on Earth for?”

“To keep their heads warm? It can get very nippy over here in January.”

“Anyone know if your basic Álfa Nobilis feels the cold?”

The general consensus proved to be that keeping their ears warm wouldn’t be among the visiting Vanorians foremost concerns.

“There we are, then. Besides, three million tourists wearing cloth caps are going to raise eyebrows as much as anything… Have we even got three million hats in this country?”

“I could do an audit, Minister… It’s highly unlikely to be three million, by the way. There wouldn’t be enough beds, and there’s no way one of their space ship thingies would be permitted into our airspace. I guess they could hover over Nethertopia or something, but…”

“Would we have much choice?” Jenny sighed. “Besides, three thousand would be bad enough. Or just the players, come to that. And that’s just the Vanorian ones… Can’t see Valrauncion sticking on a paddy cap just for our benefit… Oh God, and then there’s the bears. Bloody bears in bloody Arrigo… Bloody thousands of ‘em probably. Christ…”

“We’re not convinced they’re going to bring a huge travelling support, if that helps. Er. There’s a fox as well, I should mention.”

“They have foxes as well?!”

“And badgers, yes… Sort of. I did tell you this in my report the other day,” the Debbie muttered reproachfully.

Jenny waved a silencing hand. “Fine, whatever… So, we’re dealing with big men, wh–”

“Women.”

“Wo… Really?”

“’Fraid so.”

“Meh. Our people don’t need to know that. Big men, big women, whatever, who grow their hair long for religious reasons, an–”

“All over their bodies?!”

“You haven’t seen President Morton first thing in the morning, Deb. Well, alright… Maybe they’ve all got that condition that makes you ridiculously hairy?”

“Generalized congenital hypertrichosis?”

“Ooh, and it’s got a congenital in it. Always handy. Get to work on some ‘scientific’ papers explaining how such a thing could arise in pretty much an entire population.”

“It’s still weird, minister…”

“Not as weird as bears, Deborah. It’ll have to do. And no, before you say it, I know it doesn’t explain the…” Jenny trailed off, and waited.

“Big paws?” an underling ventured after a while.

“Thank you. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Make sure their first two matches are scheduled to take place at exactly the same time as ours. With a bit of luck we’ll be mathematically out of it by then and nobody’ll bother watching the last game. I might even try pushing things in Ad’ihan and Dancougar’s favour, if at all possible… My predecessors used to do that all the time…”

“That still leaves the little matter of the Holy Empire, minister. We can make sure there aren’t too many Allemali or Rosasharn natives slipping into the stadia – and that probably won’t be a problem, what with the three million Vanorians and all the Jeruselemites we’re expecting. We can put the telly pictures on delay, stick a load of random cut-out Coastalites and Chacans up there… job’s a good’un.”

“An’ o’course, minister, my reading of our admittedly copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of the Codex Frosticus would suggest that the players themselves are not ‘nightmares’ in any way shape or form… Merely that Imperial scientists are altering our perceptions using those natty little ‘oles they open up. If we’re awfully clever, we might be able to counteract that by making use of our resident svartálfar, at least on those Candelariasians who picked up tickets…”

“Won’t they notice if they have a Geordie goblin sitting on their head, Colin?”

“Not when the alternative is half a dozen tentacled monstrosities, or whatever…”

“No… Doesn’t explain what we’re going to do about the monks, though…”

“Nah,” Colin agreed cheerfully. “No, it’s all going to be an absolute nightmare, pardon the pun. All of it. I don’t mind telling you, minister; I’ve been in the M.O.R.T. all my l… For years, right, and this time, honestly… We’ve met our match. Even if the media behaves itself, we’ve got the worlds descending on us here… At best, when it’s all over and Valanora’ve won, we’re going t’have t’re-educate hundreds of thousands – and that’s if we somehow pull this off.”

The Ministry shuffled its feet. This was not a contented room. Jenny rubbed her hands slowly over her faced, before swivelling to face them, feeling something was expected of her. She coughed.

“Alright everyone, look. There’s no point me doing a great big pep talk, ‘cos most of you have been here a darn sight longer than me, and you all know what’s at stake. This is our cup final, right? Win this, keep the damage to the barest minimum, and everything’ll after it’ll seem like a doddle. Fail…? Let’s be honest, there’s every chance not a one of us’ll be around long enough to find out. That should take the pressure off, eh?”

She bounced to her feet, clapped her hands together and grinned. “Let’s get to work shall we? Oh, and I’m imposing a twenty-four hour moratorium on having anyone vanished,” the minister continued, to a chorus of groans, before adding; “Just kidding.”


***


The Albrecht Herald Online ~ Your World Cup 44 Paper>Sport>WC44>Opinion

An unforgivable scheduling cock-up, or an unmissable opportunity? ~ Chief Sports Writer Mack Hession on the World Cup

In the sphere of the sphere at least, this country is by now no stranger to hosting international tournaments, with the thirty-third Cup of Harmony and seventh Di Bradini Cup having taken their places in the national history of a once isolationist nation. But, plainly, the World Cup is different – there is nothing quite like this event on the entire planet, and you really can feel the enthusiasm building accordingly. The pinch-yourself moments are over – now, the World Cup is the only topic of conversation from Wikeley to Allemali, Portela to Los Silos, Rummery to Newport. Casually drop the names Angel Kensington, Zarek Chatzi, Luke Brengle or Lleyton McEvoy into conversation, and nobody’ll even blink. There’s a couple of teams in our half giving us a little more trouble, but no doubt we’ll learn those squads off by heart sooner or later too. And their formations, and managers, and tactics, and chants, and flags, and kits, and national anthems, and attitudes to public drunkenness. Isn’t it going to be great?

One factor we’ve tended to ignore however is the presence of Candelaria And Marquez – you know, our national team? – having home advantage and having as much chance as anyone (kinda) of lifting the greatest prize of all. We might’ve ‘missed out’ on a qualifying campaign, but the Dannat era is already ticking along nicely enough, and we’re faced with a fascinating Group D.

One slight technical snag: Two of our games won’t actually be in Candelaria or Marquez.

What bunch of bloody monkeys thought that one up?!

I’m not one of those who raised concerns when it was announced that the Big Blues would be dropped into the Marquezetc quarter of the draw – the eastern isle of the nation has as much right to host national team games as Candelaria, naturally – but playing two of our ‘home’ games beyond the theoretical borders of the country wouldn’t seem to be the brightest move of all time, nor the fairest on the C&M taxpayer. Friendlies are one thing – Zapata has seen two, against Zwangzug and the Eesseff – and there were particular reasons surrounding the decision to host the Illegal Immigrants in Green Island (quite a few of them are still there now, after all); but two of the biggest matches we’ll ever play? In Zapata? That would seem to be an oversight at best.

Perhaps, however, there is still time to make the best of an undoubtedly bad situation – for what better way to encourage the end of the ludicrous political situation that abounds in these islands, than by showing the people of the Outliers that they truly are as worthy of hosting the Big Blues as the rest of us. Green, Fallon, Pranschke, Sloane, Cabrera… It’s time to bring the islands back into the fold, formally and neatly, and if that means the end of Candelaria And Marquez as we know it, so be it. It’s a daft name anyway. ¡Viva la República de las Candelarias!

It’d help if we win a couple of games, of course. The squad is a worry, frankly, for all that Dannat is currently enjoying an untouchable honeymoon. Are Dionísio and Amey really our only offensive outlets in the centre? A thirty-two year-old and a converted forward? Where the hell are Jamie González or Robin Jacobs – there’s nothing wrong with picking a squad half drawn from the Cafundelense leagues, Elgin! We’ve got loads of top players out there, and should be making better use of them, than conservatively selecting a Tom Ely, Joe Rodríguez or Isaac Burridge to make up the numbers.

Switching from the 4-2-3-1 at the eleventh hour could also be a mistake, particularly against fluid Dancougar. The rapidly-risen Black Wings eased through qualification and could easily be set for a semi-final spot at the very least, leaving Ad’ihan as the more immediate focus. Dannat has the Pazhujebi sign over Devida Cal right now – a 2-1 win at the Vahala Invitational and a 2-1 win in Caires barely a fortnight ago, and the same scoreline would be entirely possible if Tom Smith and Abdul Ibadulla spark together in the same manner as that rather promising friendly.

Niv Cohen and Aaron Kortsarian will need to exploit their opponents’ lack of width every bit as much as well, and Connor Mengucci retains the nouse to keep Anthony Jones tongue-tied – but Ad’ihan, for all that, are the higher-ranked side for a reason. Matches against Dancougar and the newcomers will be walkovers, in one direction and then the other. Our World Cup future rests simply on the first game, against the Nones (everyone should have a nickname, surely?).

And it’s even in El din, which is actually in our actual country! How about that?

The Knights Prepare For First Game of World Cup Finals

Five days ago the Purple Knights arrived in Kura Pelland. They were welcomed by the gracious hosts, and had a great couple of days in the sunny warmth of the Kura PElland summer, which as you may know is like twenty million degrees warmer themn anything Taeshan is used to. The Knights were getting ready for only there fourth actual game in the World Cup. After seven attempts at glory the Knights only have two qualifications to show, one Cup Of Harmony championship, and 5 other attempts that were failures for our country in both qualifying and four in the Cup to see who can be 33rd best in the world. this proves nothing, being champion of the losers bracket. The Knights want more and the beggining of that journey to greatnes starts tommoroow right here, in Kura Pelland.

The Knights are looking to show the world that thy're not pushovers. Even if they don't win any of the next three games, they have shown that they can make it this far. Up first is the Demot team. Top five in the world, and one of the teams of Elves Security Forces. Wether they admit to it or not, they are subject to protection. The Knights should look to play they're game. Not Demots. If we can do that and score once we should get a point. And pla=ying good, and having fun playing is all the sports about. Hey, its just a game...Unless your playing us and then your gonna pay.

Ryan: Who's this Goddess Meliki?
Marie: Apparently the Goddess of Destruction in Valanora.
Ryan: Someone told me she's a scantily clad short character with red hair who's beautiful but deadly.
Marie: I dunno about that, but she sounds familiar ... like ... err, me!

Ryan: You're not some incarnate of Meliki? I mean you like weapons and can be very destructive.
Marie: I like that stuff but I'm not into destroying everything in sight.
Ryan: More like sleeping with every guy in sight.
Marie: Like Aphrodite then?

Ryan: Well, yes. She doesn't wear clothes by default.
Marie: Actually, I reckon Mum is more like Aphrodite. Aphrodite married some boring God like my father who's also boring.
Ryan: Anyway, you're not normal by any means.
Marie: Well, I'm myself.

Ryan: You don't take the love on the football field.
Marie: Take no prisoners, wife them off the field and destroy the opposition!
Ryan: You're sounding like Goddess Meliki again.
Marie: When it comes to war, there's no backing off. You have die trying or not try at all.

Ryan: You're definitely not Goddess Elune.
Marie: Well, I seem to have more in common with Meliki than Elune actually.
Ryan: Good thing you're on our side still.
Marie: Being meek is not my style.

Ryan: Sadie is quite the opposite.
Marie: She's meek because of brain damage.
Ryan: At least she's not crazy like you.
Marie: But you need someone like me to fire up the team!

Ryan: Yes, we have a lot of slack-asses in this team.
Marie: So how come they are in this team?
Ryan: You need a balance in a team. You need different kinds of people with different skills.
Marie: I guess you're the coach and not me.

Ryan: I need nut cases like you to be the leader. And also you're a bit unpredictable so the opposition, aren't sitting in a comfort zone when they play us.
Marie: I'm not nuts, I'm just ... err, Marie.
Ryan: Yes, you're just Marie.
Marie: I blame my mother as always.

Ryan: Your mother has a lot to answer for actually ...

Presenter of the Diário Esportivo, a daily TV program about sports of Globo Multimedia, Ana Luiza Camargo is commenting about the latest football news:

ANA LUIZA – “After this news about Dylandy’s good performance in the Cafundelense league for Petardos S/A, we’ll now talk about the World Cup. The Monopolists are already training in Kura-Pelland, to get ready to play the first game of the most important competition of the world’s football! And, of course, Globo Multimedia is there with them, and we’ll now interview the coach of the National Team, David Nefasto!”

The TV image now shows a football field where some players are training. David Nefasto is there, together with some reporter that looks like a mummy, full of bandages covering his entire face.

MUMMY – “Excellent, Ana Luiza, it’s good to be herrrrre with the Cafundelense team, getting rrrrready for another Worrrrrld Cup! As you can see, the team is alrrrrready trrrrraining herrrrre in Kurrrrrra-Pelland, and the team is doing its best to have a wonderrrrful starrrrrt in the competition! And, don’t forrrrrget, you’ll follow the Worrrrrld Cup games herrrrre, in Globo Multimedia!”

The TV image is divided in two halves, one with the Mummy and Nefasto, and other showing Ana Luiza and the studio.

ANA LUIZA – “Well, it seems to be a beautiful day where you are! So, are you with David Nefasto, can he talk to us?”

MUMMY – “Surrrrrely Ana, he is herrrrre with me, rrrrready to talk to the viewerrrrrs of our channel. Let’s talk to him! Hello, David Nefasto, it’s good to have you in our prrrrogrrrram.”

David looks at the mummy with suspicion, looking at the camera right after with a scared face.

NEFASTO – “Well, hello everrrrryone, it is good to talk to you.”

ANA LUIZA – “Thanks for giving this interview, David. Let’s talk about the main issue of this interview: the World Cup. The team is already in Kura-Pelland and the first game is close…”

MUMMY – “Yes, talk about this, David! Arrrrre you prrrrreparrrrred for the firrrrrrst game?”

NEFASTO – “Of course. The players are being trained well, my tactics seem to be working during the trainings and we are ready for an excellent game soon in the World Cup.”

MUMMY – “So let’s talk about our opponents in this Worrrrrld Cup, in orrrrrder of rrrrrankings… firrrrrst, Yafor Two… will one of the teams win the game this time? You know, not counting that frrrrriendly which ended with a win in our favour, the other games durrrrrring this campaign all ended in drrrrraws… of courrrrrse, I mean the games against Yafor Two…”

NEFASTO – “Well, I can’t answer this question with certainty, as I’m not God… only time will tell us if Cafundéu or Yafor Two will win the next game between the countries. But one thing I can guarantee: we are working hard to strengthen the team for this game… not only for this game, but especially for this game. I’m planning some strategies that can be the difference between another draw and a victory for us!”

MUMMY – “So, arrrrre you confident?”

NEFASTO – “We have to be. Yafor Two is surely the biggest threat of our group, they have some players that play in Cafundéu, specially those two full-backs from Cafundó do Juta.”

MUMMY – “What about Jaseuyeon?”

NEFASTO – “It seems that, in Cafundéu’s history, we had some bad games against them, so we need to be cautious, even when the media claims that Cafundéu are the favourites for this game. Past experiences have shown that they can surprise the biggest teams, and Cafundéu isn’t an exception. We have to keep our focus in the game, and play football, as this is something we know how to do well…”

MUMMY – “And, finally, at last… Kelssek. We played them at home in Worrrrrld Cup forrrrty-two, surrrrely everrryone rrrrrememberrrrrs this… is this a must-win game?”

NEFASTO – “All the games in the World Cup are must-win games. That’s why we train so hard in order to be ready for these games. The Cafundelenses can be sure that we want to win this World Cup!”

ANA LUIZA – “Now, excuse me, let’s talk about the Monopolists’ location… we were drawn in one of the Kura-Pelland’s groups… is there any difference from playing in Kura-Pelland to playing in Candelaria And Marquez?”

NEFASTO – “Maybe. This is not an easy question to answer. Many of our players know Candelaria And Marquez, and have played against teams from there. Their domestic league is very respected, there are some very promising players there, as William. And, in the other direction, some of their biggest stars play in Cafundéu, as Mengucci and Kortsarian. Surely our fans know Candelaria And Marquez very well, but I think that the pressure over our team would be the same as the one we are facing now… there isn’t much difference.”

ANA LUIZA – “So, where would you like to stay?”

NEFASTO – “For this World Cup? Well, for me this doesn’t make much difference, as I said. Candelaria And Marquez is considered a beautiful country to visit, my wife went there last month, spent a week there and loved there. But Kura-Pelland is a very nice place to stay. And, football-wise, I think that the stadiums are in excellent conditions.”

MUMMY – “Thanks verrrry much for your interrrrrview, David.”

NEFASTO – “No problem… er… who are you?”

MUMMY – “You don’t rrrrrecognize me?”

NEFASTO – “No… there are too many bandages…”

MUMMY – “I am Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreno Gavião!”

NEFASTO – “Breno? The voice is familiar, really… are you out of the hospital?”

BRENO – “Yes, it’s me! I am fine, now.”

NEFASTO – “And why all these bandages?”

BRENO – “The doctors did a lot of surgeries to help me…”

NEFASTO – “I know, but weren’t those heart surgeries?”

BRENO – “Yes, they were. But I decided that, as I was already in the hospital, I could take advantage of that fact to have some cosmetic surgeries. So I called a plastic surgeon… I changed my nose, removed some signs of old age… when I remove these bandages, I’ll be a new person.”

NEFASTO – “Oh, I see.”

ANA LUIZA – “Well, let’s go now to another section of our program… the CCFM league stars… from the other National Teams!”

All the phrases below were spoken by Ana Luiza:

“From Valanora, there are many players of the National Team playing in Cafundéu, but one of them surely is the most famous: Laborious Hawk. Playing for Petardos S/A, this attacking midfielder is not only good in controlling the game than also in assisting and scoring goals. Arguably the best player of the entire Cafundelense league, has already won many awards, and is one of the leaders of Cafundéu’s most successful team!”

“Still in Group A, Jeruselem doesn’t have players playing in Cafundéu, the same situation of Peisandros, although we aren’t sure if this will last. The Holy Empire, of course, doesn’t have players playing in Cafundéu.”

“Surprisingly, the only country of Group B that has players playing in the Cafundelense league is Bazalonia, with two of them. Although Cole has enjoyed some success, surely Ainsley got much more fame in our country, being one of the top goalscorers of the league in the last two seasons, playing in the strong team of Cafundó do Juta. Ainsley’s goalscoring talents are envied by many other attackers.”

“Group C presents us a strange situation. In theory, we could have players from the CCFM league in all the four National Teams but, as Capitalizt SLANI and Septentrionia didn’t release the identity of their players, we can’t be sure. But let’s move on. Sorthern Northland has three players of their NT playing here, although they say it is just one. Mills and Pinoc are performing well, but Labbé is in a better team, surely, and in Khalmar-Tijhus he was able to gain the confidence of the supporters.”

“Still in Group C, Daehanjeiguk is a country that has many players winning their salaries in vintéms, and playing in our league. Although Yi Beomsuk has recently been considered one of the best defenders of the league, Song Jongguk remains being the most famous player of their country in Cafundéu. Few players have his experience, and the captain of Atlético Insular surely won’t be forgotten after he retires.”

“Group D has two countries that sent a lot – I said a lot – of players to the Cafundelense league. But let’s talk about the other two first. Ad’ihan had some players playing in Cafundéu in the past, but now it seems very difficult to buy a player from there, with negotiations being difficult to make. Bears Armed, being a newcomer, still didn’t receive the visit of The Scout.”

“But now, Dancougar. Watanabe, Midorikawa, Jinguuji, Yukikaze, Ingram, Yamada... all quality players. Watanabe even deserves special treatment, as is one of the most secure goalkeepers (if not the most) of the Cafundelense league, being a respected player. But, right now, the most commented player of the league comes from Dancougar, and he isn’t Watanabe. He is Lyle Dylandy. The millionaire transfer to Petardos S/A was followed by world-class performances that transformed Dylandy in one of the most praised players by the media, and one of the most loved by the fans. Many people expects him to win prizes at the end of the current season.”

“And Candelaria And Marquez, the hosts of this World Cup, are surely very known to the fans here in Cafundéu. There are many players from their country playing in the CCFM leagues, and most of them have achieved success. From the ones of their National Team, Mengucci is surely the most successful one. Starting his career in América, impressed everyone with his quality, and won a contract in Petardos S/A. In the team, became a key piece of the team in the midfield, and certainly one of the team’s main weapons to success. Now, as captain of the National Team, can put his experience in the World Cup.”

“In Group E, apart from us of course, there are two countries with players in Cafundéu. Jaseuyeon doesn’t have players in the CCFM, but both Yafor Two and Kelssek do. The Golden Wolves have two excellent full-backs and one goalkeeper, famous in the country. Kariid and Sidan have already received awards in the league and are loved by the fans, but Bahsir has already became an idol in Cafundó do Juta, being consecutive seasons among the best players of the league and helping the team to win many trophies. Kelssek has three players too, Sinclair, Arsenault and Colwyn. The first two are starters in their teams, but failed to achieve big success. Colwyn seems to be different, being noted as a quality player in the Porto Lacruz midfield.”

“Group F’s National Teams doesn’t have players in Cafundéu’s leagues? Wrong. Lovisa’s team was now revealed, and it has Sievers, Vilgoor, Baecker and Lunz, being Lunz surely the most famous player, although the one that has played the better in the league so far is Vilgoor. Bostopia and Jeru FC have no players in our leagues, but Wentland has. Yes, the team wasn’t revealed, but surely Andy Saint must be in it, as the Dunboor FC attacker is one of the stars of his National Team.”

“Group G is another group with many CCFM players. Vephrall, for example, has three, including Hahnea, recently bought by Khalmar-Tijhus and seen as one of the most promising new players of the league. Minanad, owned by a foreign company, and Cese complete the list. Also, both Qazox and Krytenia have one player in their National Team that lives in Cafundéu, playing for one of our domestic teams. In Qazox’s case, the player is the defender Higgens, while in Krytenia’s case he is the midfielder Austin.”

“In the last group, only Demot seems to have players in one of CCFM’s leagues – well, only in the First Division – and some praised players. Who doesn’t know Warsin, or the Petardos S/A full back Delaruse? But most would agree that, between the three players of that NT who play in Cafundéu, the best is Theros, Cafundó do Juta’s goalkeeper who substituted the legendary goalkeeper Rodriguez, from Starblaydia.”

“But what about Kura-Pelland? Well, we can expect to see players from the CCFM leagues in their National Team too, as the goalkeeper Hodgson and, specially, the attacker Fiero, one of the most dangerous players of the league and a deadly striker of the current champions Ranca Toco, being also one of the top goalscorers of the league. So, you’ll be able to see your favourite players of the Cafundelense league in the World Cup, in different teams, but just in one channel!”

National Qazian Language Institute

From: Resident Advisors
To: All Freßmen students
RE: The World Cup

For the remainder of the term, all students, in course of writing about the World Cup, are to use the Qazian equivalents. Sinse you are but lowly freßmen, and the majority of you have not yet totally immersed yourselves into writing in the language, here is a compendium of Engliß-Qazian translations, as to further your education. Please note that this list is just a reminder of those nations that are to be spelled differently (those differenses are in BOLD).


Pasandros
The Arçregimancy
Daehanjaguk
Cafundeu
Jacyeon
Veþrall
Milçama
Taeßan


Please ceep this note hidden from any Professors, Student-teaçers and other faculty members.

(ooc note: The nations are still pronounced the same, just spelled differently. and if there seems to be 'mistakes' in the above paragraph, just remember it's written in Qazian, not English.)

It was nearly one in the morning, and Vephrall national team manager Parker Law was still awake, rather remarkable for a man of his age (eighty-four). He was busy doing some research on the teams his squad would have to face in the group stage of this World Cup - namely, Milchama, Krytenia, and Qazox.

Milchama he actually knew a fair bit about. Way back in his playing days, about fifty years ago, he lived in Milchama. When he wasn't wearing the Bedistan green and blue, his colors were those of Milchamian club FC Doom. Granted, the teams themselves didn't have that much in common, but Milchama's all-out attacking style never changed. And knowing the culture of a nation can go a long way toward understanding its national team. As for Krytenia, he knew them pretty well too. Bedistan and Krytenia had shared a border, after all.

Qazox, however, was a nation that Law knew very little about. And thus Qazox was the nation he had been researching for the past five hours, starting pretty much as soon as practice ended. Law had realized that he no longer noticed an appreciable difference between the Kura-Pellandi computer he was using and the ones back home in Vephrall. The east had finally caught up with the west, it seemed. At any rate, each click of a link seemed to cause him to stray just a bit further from the task at hand as he delved into arguably less important aspects of Qazoxian culture.

"Interesting," he thought as he read an online encyclopedia article on the Qazian language. "They use the letter ç to represent the /ch/ sound, just like old Noterelenda." Law hadn't used that particular language in a very long time, having indeed found no further use for it once his hometown of Hendersonburg passed into the control of Northern Bettia, though Noterelenda is still widely spoken, primarily in the UCS. Law idly wondered if Qazian too would later switch over to the letter q to represent that particular phoneme.

And then he fell asleep in his chair.

I checked my watch for the hundredth time. 7:08pm, eight minutes late. As I considered whether to order another drink, he entered the cafe. Standing nervously, he noticed me and made his way over.

"So, Mr Pappas I believe?"

"Yeah, Alex. Mr Roufous?"

"The one and only. Shall we get straight to business?"

"I guess, sure. I just want you to know from the outset, I'm not exactly comfortable with this."

"You don't need to be. As you may know by now, if you cooperate, there won't be any problems. You're okay with that, aren't you Mr Pappas?"

"I don't have a choice do I."

"Excellent. Now...."

Dancougar News!! World Cup Preview
I can still see the road markings, so there's not that much snow.
Therefore, 76 becomes the interstate designation AND the speed limit.

Four years ago, the Dancougar Black Wings surprised everybody by making it all the way to the semifinals before finishing an emphatic third. A year of qualifying has brought us to this point, but this summer, they're not out to repeat the feat... they're out to surpass it. The Wings, though, will have been thoroughly studied by all upcoming and potential opponents and must be on their guard to avoid becoming a victim of the kind of upsets they made commonplace during their World Cup 43 run.

Bilbao's 23-man roster is drawn exclusively from the players used during the qualifying run, and there is some concern that the age of the players will hurt them in the final tournament. Because the Wings have gone away from using college players in the World Cup and no Dancougaran professional hasn't gone through college, most players get started late. Bilbao, however, thinks that most players making the trip to Candelaria and Marquez are hitting their prime, with a select few poised to return for World Cup 45. Here's the depth chart along with their World Cup 44 qualifying round stats:

GOALKEEPER Age Gms GA SO Notes
Yuji Watanabe 33 9 8 4 WC40-44 (101 GA)
Luke Brengle 29 4 2 2 -

DEFENSE Age Gms G A Notes
Casey Berber 30 9 0 2 OC6, WC41-44 (4 G)
Musashi Yamada 32 8 0 0 -
Brad Leeds 31 12 0 0 -
Sho Yukikaze 27 10 0 0 OC6, WC41-44 (1 G, 1 OG)
Don Samrov 28 5 0 0 -
Joseph Cecilia 29 3 0 0 -
Yuuta Raikatuji 29 2 0 1 -

MIDFIELD Age Gms G A Notes
Lyle Dylandy 29 9 5 4 OC6, WC41-44 (22 G)
K Midorikawa 30 10 1 0 WC42-44 (8 G)
Kevin Underwood 31 11 2 2 OC6, WC40-44 (13 G)
Alexei Voronzoff 27 13 4 4 OC7, WC44 (7 G)
Anthony Ingram 30 9 2 1 OC7, WC43-44 (4 G)
Dwayne Landro 27 8 1 0 -
Al McNespy 28 3 1 2 -
Shigekazu Hayashi 28 3 0 1 -
Ed Klingensmith 29 5 0 1 -

FORWARD Age Gms G A Notes
Dan Potts 30 8 5 3 OC6, WC42-44 (29 G)
Shishio Jinguuji 31 5 5 0 WC40-44 (43 G)
Shiro Furuya 32 7 5 0 WC40-44 (13 G)
Karen Stadler 27 4 3 0 -
Augustine Dennin 27 1 1 0 -

No surprise that Alex Silberstein has been dropped as the third goalkeeper. He picked up the win in his lone start against Rennidan, but Brengle was given more opportunities to shine. He's had some control problems, but the Wings will be counting on Yuji Watanabe one last time. He's gotten them through a pair of tense knockout-round shootouts in World Cups past.

On defense, frequent substitute Sho Yukikaze will make the trip but Stanley Carter, the Wings' other big center back, will not. That role will devolve solely to Musashi Yamada, although don't be surprised to see Brad Leeds take that role when the Wings opt for a faster back line. Milan van der Horst was a surprising omission, although Bilbao says he likes the energy in some of the younger players, notably Yuuta Raikatuji, who only played in two qualifying matches but nevertheless managed to impress the manager.

Anthony Ingram has played his way into the starting lineup after playing well as a substitute and then making the most of his few starts. He'll come at the expense of Dwayne Landro, who nevertheless makes the trip as a defensive midfielder and will see plenty of late-game action. Kevin Underwood will still wear the captain's armband. Alexei Voronzoff has been pegged as the captain for World Cup 45 if all goes well, and he seems to be enjoying his enhanced workload, becoming as much a scoring threat as winger Lyle Dylandy.

But a look at the forwards reveals just how dangerous the Wings can be. A balanced score sheet was the result of Bilbao's tinkering, as he spent most of qualifying picking different pairs out of his top three. Shiro Furuya, who managed to be left out of the team's pre-tournament roster release, has certainly caught our attention, although one could argue that Karen Stadler and Shishio Jinguuji have been more productive. In either case, we wouldn't be surprised to see a three forward formation at times... according to Bilbao, he rates his offense's drive at 7/10 and wants to see that boosted for the finals. (OOC: Consider that my move from +2 to +2.5!)

The Wings certainly have the talent to get past the group stage, but that will certainly depend on which team shows up... the team that got shut down by Colbourne, or the one that romped over Qazox.

First up are the Bear-Belles of Bears Armed, whose harrdiharr is as imposing as their football. We're familiar with them as the champions from the Baptism of Fire hosted in Dancougar, and rather than be satisfied with that, they went and qualified for the World Cup in their first attempting by getting seven wins in their group, including a key head-to-head result as the zombies of Prux. The bears are all female, but that doesn't change the fact that they're... well, bears. As such, the Wings cannot expect to win any physical battles for loose balls, and might not be about to count on speed, either. Bears can be fast.

The Belles are used to enjoying the majority of the possession and will no doubt continue that trend. At that point, it's up to the midfield to produce chances from limited opportunities. The size advantage enjoyed by the Belles will also necessitate a short, ground-based passing attack. Shishio Jinguuji will not get free headers inside the box, nor can the Wings expect there to be massive gaps through which to thread passes. We believe that Dancougar's experience will see them through to victory, but it could come down to a lucky bounce or a single shot.

After that, though, are the co-hosts. Candelaria and Marquez have one of the world's top domestic leagues and can rival Cafundeu for titles won and foreigners employed. In front of their home fans, they'll now want to get over the international hump and make a deep run into the World Cup. The Black Wing fans generally travel well and will have their Horrible Hand Towels at the ready, but bigger relief might come from the actual venue - Green Island, which has already sparked complaints by the C&M fans awaiting the tournament.

As co-host, the team hasn't been in action except for friendlies, and their first match against Ad'ihan will be a replay of a friendly that finished 2-0 in the co-hosts' favor. They won't go forward as often as the Wings, but that's not to say they won't score goals. We'll be interested in seeing Shiro Furuya go up against A.F.F. teammate Enrique Silva de Aviz, and the midfield battle between Petardos teammates Lyle Dylandy and Connor Mengucci could also be intriguing. To win, the Wings will have to take control of the match early and remove the crowd as a motivating force. A quick goal could work wonders.

Ad'ihan, as we've mentioned, will lead off with the co-hosts and once again close out the first round against Dancougar. Last time out, Dancougar romped 3-0 to earn first in the group and a matchup with then #2 Bostopia, with favorable results. There was also a media row caused by the Dancougar News!! report that Ad'ihan's manager had his job on the line, even though Devida Cal had just been hired and was secure regardless of their finish. As of our last fact-check, Cal was still in charge. Ad'ihan finished second in their group with eleven wins and had a stingy defense which allowed under a goal per game.

Knowing Dancougar's track record in the World Cup, they will go into the last day of the group stage playing for their lives. Will they repeat their gutsy win from World Cup 43? Ad'ihan are only starting a pair of thirtysomethings in Simon Labrie and Jake Holmes, but given their record in qualifying, the team seems to have found a good balance. They've stepped up to the lead the youngsters, who have gelled quickly and could threaten to take first in the group. But the defense is still the youngest part of this team, and the Wings should be able to chalk up a win if they can break the unit's confidence.

And now, the Dancougar News!! provides its usual terrible predictions.

MD1:
Dancougar 3 v 1 Bears Armed @ Estadio Arrigo Nacional, Arrigo
Candelaria And Marquez 2 v 2 Ad’ihan @ The Marble Ground, El din

MD2:
Dancougar 1 v 2 Candelaria And Marquez @ Marlow Park, Zapata
Bears Armed 0 v 2 Ad’ihan @ La Escalera Naranja, Onwere

MD3:
Dancougar 3 v 2 Ad’ihan @ La Escalera Naranja, Onwere
Bears Armed 2 v 4 Candelaria And Marquez @ Marlow Park, Zapata

GROUP D W D L GF GA Diff Pts
Candelaria and Marquez 2 1 0 8 5 +3 7
Dancougar 2 0 1 7 5 +2 6
Ad'ihan 1 1 1 6 5 +1 4
Bears Armed 0 0 3 3 9 -6 0

Bilbao has indeed opted for a mobile lineup against Bears Armed, noting the importance of hitting the ground running and coming back without a mauling.

STARTING XI: Watanabe; Berber, Leeds, Yukikaze; Dylandy, Midorikawa, Underwod, Voronzoff, Ingram; Potts, Furuya
SUBSTITUTES: Brengle, Samrov, Cecilia; Landro, Klingensmith, McNespy; Stadler

“…avid oh-my-god-we-have-a-rugby-team was crowned champion at the Candelarias Open Snooker Championship with a ten frames to four victory over defending champion Rowan Simpson, and Sarzonia are the world Lacrosse champions following a fourteen-eleven victory over Newmanistan.

“And that’s all for now, I’ll be back at six WRT for a recap of all the day’s main news and sport headlines, but now it’s time to join Gordon Longstreet at the Solidarity Stadium, as the forty-fourth World Cup gets underwa–”

“Nyees, thank you Suzanne… I’llerrrr… have to speak up a little here because it really is ever so noisy, even up ‘ere in the press boxshesss… Theeeee…. shensh of anticipation is… shudenly buildinnng, because thissss… really is what we’ve been waiting for, preparing forrr, agonising aboutttt, for what seems like… er… well, a few weeks actually, but…”

At this point, if at all possible, it may help to bring to mind the voice and general oral demeanour of former British Secretary of State for International Development, Clare Short MP. It’d save us having to provide the pauses and whatnot.

“… even so, it does, with all of us in this stadium, finally feel that we’re here, now… We’ve come a long way, and we’re not too sure where we’ve been. We’ve had success, and we’ve had good times, but, I would say, certainly, remember this. Um.

“Well, anyway, you join us on C&M-Live at foreignoffice.cam, so hello to all you ex-pats, an… is that a giant plastic treeshrew? Er, anyway, hello to all you Candelariasians overseas, as well as those tuning in for the, er, definitive coverage of the opening ceremony, as well as the main event, of course, as the… er… well, Valanora, I suppose, the reigning champions and heavy favourites for a third straight title, take on Peisandros, watched by billions around the world… r-round the worlds, I suppose… Er. We don’t have the team news through quite yet, but you can expect a fine reception for the return of Scott Soldarian to the Solidarity Stadium, while the former Turkish man will almost certainly line up alongside C&M… sort of… based winger Espy va Drake. On the Sandrian side, Hoxton natives will also get a look at two or three supposèd targets, though that’s a hopelessly long drawn-out transfer deal there, and I can’t imagine anyone in their right mind touching Albrecht Independent in their current state…

“On a less parochial front, this is an unusual occurrence, really – the reigning champions opening the World Cup rather than one of the co-hosts, though if we look at the last time that happened, back at the thirty-eighth World Cup, we could be in for a treat – back then, the reigning champions and firm favourites were Az-cz, who suffered a four-three upset in Speilers to Northern Bettia. Peisandros, let’s be honest, aren’t the Gogs – and Valanora, for that matter, aren’t Az-cz, but, and it’s a key but, the Marauders have not been their usual overpowering selves of late, including those two remarkable draws against Sarzonia. But maybe they’re simply saving themselves for the finals – where, last time out, they smashed Demot five-one in the final just days after pulling off the biggest World Cup finals victory of all time, an incredible eight-nil destruction of Lovisa. So even if this match-up doesn’t prove to be particularly competitive, we could still be on for quite a show…

“Talking of shows; the opening ceremony itself, of course, is a modest affair… In the world’s… worldses’… current economic climate, it was felt that a big showy number wasn’t really the order of the day, and of course it’s really only the afternoon here, so it… struggles, atmosphere-wise… There will be firewo… heavens, what extraordinary hair… er, fireworks, yes… in fact, there might be some now, I think, er…”

*Pop* *Puuuuuuuuuuu* *T’uwush* *Pop*

“Well, there we go… delightful… And, errr… You can see, actually, tha… Well obviously you can’t see, that’s while I’m having to explain this to you, that the, uh, I suppose a hundred or so coloured boxes arranged on the pitch have started to shake… And meanwhile, as I’m sure you can hear, round the edges, there’s a large number of… exceptionally well-honed young black gentlemen banging drums… That’ll be the Hanlon & Feetis Gay Men’s Chorus, I think… Er… You’ll have to excuse me somewhat, I seem to have mixed up my notes on all this a little… Er…

“Anyway, there are screens all around Solidarity now, hanging from… gantries, and whatnot, showing scenes from across the Candelarias… First Albrecht, cheering crowds at Martin’s Square, on Purity Mount… Across the country now… I’m not actually entirely sure what they’re cheering about at this point, since nothing’s actually happened yet, but… Kura-Pelland now, you can see, Trilan… And… some other places, I don’t… That’s el Arapucera, I should think, unless my ethnodar’s gone a bit wonky… And around the world now! Crowds watching big screens in Jhanna… Ajer… Ourseville… Cafundó do Juta… Hangyeong… Raynor Ci… What does that banner say?... Er… Er, anyway… Beningrad, you’re just seeing there, hi to everyone listening online over there… Yuki City… Alexandria… Olympia… Tel Aviv… Meice… Emberton… The Grand Lav… Is that even possi… Fort Boston, well you’re getting the general idea here, so let’s return to the stadium proper where… the black men are still drumming, actually, for some reason, but…

“Yes, in the centre now you can see a boat emerging… A replica of one of the first craft bringing British settlers to Allemali… Or what would become Allemali, because it was a Spanish colony originally, of course, but that doesn’t seem to be… Oh, and there’s a Spanish ship as well, thank God for that, we’d never’ve heard the end of it… The boxes have turned into waves meanwhile, and from them emerge sea monsters and mermaids… Which is somewhat ironic, when you think of our own entrenched and brutally enforced attitudes towards the existence of such… Anyway, the Spanish ship’s actually got started now, I think there was a bit of a problem there… Passing each other now, firing arrows at each other, that’s nice… Ooh… Well, one of them’s hit someone in the eye and he’s gone down like a sack of spuds… Actually looks quite painful that, there’s a couple of paramedics… No, he’s been enveloped by a sea of boxes… Oh well…

“The ships have now passed each other, and they’re landing on distant shores… One of them could well be Kura-Pellandi, come to think of it, but… Anyway, there’s a small child coming out, armed with a football… I don’t know how much of this is historically accurate, you know, but… I don’t have my notes, as I say, so… But I’ll take a stab that that’s a ten year-old Asian girl with learning difficulties… Which is stereotype-defying, I suppose, it’s its own wa… No, cerebral palsy, I’m being told… Well, that’s… Okay, er, well now a group of multicoloured children on each little round island are playing slightly stylised football matches, so now our attention turns back to the centre, where we have a whole new posse of dancers…

“Now, you’ll be relieved to hear that there isn’t much in the way of Candelariasian culture being shoehorned into this… Largely because we don’t have one, obviously; what’s happening here is that you have wave after wave of dancers moving in a vaguely spirally form, and once they get to the outside of the spiral they leave the pitch, to be replaced by more dancers dressed in a costume of a slightly later period… So, we’re looking now at very much early 1800s, sort of country dancing, here… peasant costumes and so forth… but round the outside moving inwards there’s ballroom dancers in elegant dresses and whatnot… and they too are now being succeeded by people doing the Charleston, I’d imagine, unless they’ve got really itchy knees… There’s going to be hip-hop in a minute, unless we’re very careful…

“I should mention the children on the islands have been going about their business in much the same way, their football kits have changed every twenty seconds or so to reflect to reflect different styles at different times… The big screens are back on, as well, showing moments from World Cups over the past… century, or so, depending on how one measures it… Er. Lots of holding hands going on, themes of unity, I should say, very important to all this… stuff. And now, in a minute, there’ll be a bang and the music’ll stop and…”

*Pppft*

“There we go, and everyone falls down, very suddenly… This is, er, I’d imagine the 12/5 attacks and Trilan blasts as well, and other… general stuff, I should think… But now, the dancers and the footballing kids are back on their feet, and the music is rising to a crescendo… There we go… That’s a crescendo if there ever was one.

“The dancers part now, the children on the two islands turn to each other, there’s a bit of theatrical squinting… And now two of the children have footballs in front of them and they kick, simultaneously… almost simultaneously, for the other island… Gosh, we should have that little ginger lad taking our free-kicks… And now, a huge ball… a hot-air balloon, indeed, in the shape of a traditional black and white soccer ball, has descended from the heavens, and coming to meet it are a host of… freaks, frankly, including the giant plastic tree-shrews on stilts, which I still don’t understand… fully, but…

“And now they’re followed by former world champions, look at that… Kiso Night, Leandro Perheira, Migelo Luiso, Jorge Shockey, Cassie Lee, Ariel Haynes, one of the Busilantis… I’m not actually sure if any of these people have actually turned up, mind you, or even if they’re still alive, but this is what I’m being told in my ear, so… Hanifah Kyaw, Iannis Xenakis, Parker Law, now the Vephrese head coach, of course… Jared Livingston, Georges Blanc, Johnny Lewis, Nunzio Gre… Some of them are former captains, others merely greats of the game… some are just randoms who could get a visa… Some are hobbling somewhat, or confined to a wheelchair these days… As Seneteramanasiri Kalamanaserexesesikehidimerevenu just walks by there… I think… Bloody hope so… Brian Wilson there, still a familiar face… Santo Kecker…

“Okay, obviously this is going to take a while, so, er, we can return to the front few, who are accompanied by WCC First Hierarch, Father Polycarp the Venerable… and Candelariasian supermodel Sarah Owusu, for some reason, that’s a little tasteless, poor old soul… Anyway, they’re carrying the World Cup trophy itself… And planting it now on the plinth… And some cheers there, and now, taking to the stage are President Robyn Morton and President Charley… Er… No, don’t tell m… Olsen, yes, and a little hush now as they… fight for the mike… Well, this is unseeml… And our girl gets it; get in, Robbie!”

“Good evening, to everyone in this stadium, and around the world, the watching billions, waiting for the opening game of this, the forty-fourth World Cup, the greatest sporting tournamt…”

“Er. Right, er… Well, the Presidents’ mike appears to have been knocked into the ‘off’ position by that giant inflatable kangaroo… She’s still going to carry on though, by the looks of it… Even though we can’t actually… Oh dear.

“Well, er, let me bring you up to date with, er, events… because in a short while for now, once the ticker-tape and blood has been cleared up, the pitch will be readied for the arrival of the Vanorian and Sandrian national teams, for the opening match as the President was saying because she was… Er, anyway, before then we’ll be able to enjoy the official anthem of the forty-fourth World Cup, which will declare the tournament officially open… A duet, sung here by Katherine West, the Cardim-born mezzo-soprano, and Rhosyn al-Wadi, the Rosasharn-born winner of the fifth C&M Idol… An upbeat number, as one might expect, combining both an operatic style and chart RnB, proclaiming a new spirit of unity and international peoplehood, joining hands in celebration of the worlds’ belo–”

*CLICK!*

Glamour Tie Ends In Tie
Valanora/Starblaydia play out 2-2 draw

Rarely do international friendlies come with quite this degree of excitement, celebrity and previous silverware. Starblaydia waited to have the inaugural Mike Sarzo Memorial Trophy presented to them before the game, while all six World Cup trophies that these two sides have won between them in the last sixty-plus years were on display as the teams ran out to a blaze of camera bulb flashes. There have only been forty-three trophies handed out up to this point, of course, and between them these two teams have almost 14% of them - not quite one in every seven.

Three stars were present on each of the twenty-two shirts on display, representing just how much heritage was on show. The number of times these two had met before in competition, however, was fairly low, but the meetings were very significant indeed. In World Cup 39, where Starblaydia had qualified for the World Cup for the first time after their hiatus, which ended just four years earlier, the two sides met in the Quarter-Finals. Starblaydia were destroyed by seven goals to one, their record all-time defeat, as Valanora made their way to the Semi-Finals and Third-Place match. Four years later, Valanora took their first title on West Starblaydi soil in World Cup 40. The very next tournament, the defending champions faced Starblaydia again in the Semi-Finals, but this time it was Starblaydia who proved victorious, going on to the Final to win their historic third Championship. Valanora, however, came straight back to win two in a row. The last four titles have been lifted by these two sides, making this one of the most neutrally anticipated friendly matches ever.

Valanora were, a little unsually, in all navy, while Starblaydia were in their usual all-white. Both teams wanted to wear their home kits, but the referee evidently decided that twenty-two pairs of white shorts, all made by ediraf, was just a little too much to keep his eye on. Rather than making Starblaydia's purple possibly clash on the television with the Vanorian blue, he proposed that the Marauders use the shorts from their third kit which, after a little deliberation, was accepted. Unfamiliar though that outfit was, the names on display were known to most football fans across the world.

Hawk, Di Bradini, England, Soler, Fëanáro, Drake, Vegachenko, Soldarian, Valrauncion and Tinehtelë.

You could quite easily pick a very decent World XI from these two sides, such is their caliber and lineage, but today they lined up against each other. Sparks were expected to fly but, with the 44th World Cup just around the corner, no such intense action was forthcoming. It was, all in all, a standard exhibition match, though the skills on display were better than most exhibition matches. This was the billed as the Champions' Friendly and the Elvish Friendly, and it's quite possibly the Final that the neutral will want to see in sixty-four games' time.

It was Starblaydia who struck first, after twenty-five minutes. A cagey opening, light on tackles and meaty challenges, had been the order of the day, but slowly the friendliness came down and the competitiveness came up. The midfielders clashed to decide the balance of power; it came down on the side in white. Mus'haf was dominant, unleashing Fëanáro to stride forward. Starblaydia flowed like water over the defence, as England and Vegachenko, supported by Movalinen and Avathar, came rushing up. Valrauncion was the Elf, there in the box, to receive the pass from Starblaydia's Number Eight, turn, outfox the defender and drive the ball low into the back of the net. His celebration was telling: he simply stood, biceps tensed and fists clenched, roaring his power. He was soon mobbed by Starblaydi players, bouyed by the large Starblaydi travelling support.

Starblaydia were in control for the rest of the half, as Valanora barely threatened to level the scoreline. Anárion obviously had something to say at Half Time, as the Vanorians came out for the second half with renewed vigour and purpose, testing Dacil Taniquentar on several occasions. Starblaydia countered soon after and the game turned into a thrilling, end-to-end spectacular, worthy of the ranking of these two sides. As Starblaydia's grip on the game began to tighten, Valanora scored. Calla Soler broke late into the box, outpacing Louisa Logan, getting on the end of a neat square ball from Razov, returning the favour she commonly pays him.

Though Valanora were level, it barely lasted five minutes as Starblaydia came surging back to re-assert their dominance. Di Bradini went close, Ricky England's free kick was tipped over the bar and Valrauncion blazed wide as he was defeated by an unlikely bobble just before striking the ball. It was capped off when Yuri Vegachenko clipped the ball into the net after defeating Hizzen Hocn, some six hundred-plus years his senior, faking first one way, then the other, with a stepover and a dropped shoulder, before sprinting into the box and stabbing the ball with the outside of his left foot into the back of the net. 2-1 was the scoreline, and most watchers knew that Starblaydia deserved it.

Valanora were under-par, much like both teams had been during their qualifying campaigns. Starblaydia, however, were rising to the occasion and looking to finish their pre-Cup build-up with a flourish. The final flourish, however, was a Vanorian one. Scott Soldarian has always been the beating heart of this team, he the is embodiment of the soul of Valanora's national football team: Ryan Garry, Alfonso Di Angelo, Leandro Perheira, Menecrates and Simeone Di Bradini - he is all of those rolled into one for Valanora. He scored an equalising goal just as the referee was looking to his watch for the final whistle. With the last kick of the game he struck Valanora's face-saver, and Starblaydia's collective competitive heart was broken.

Two-two was fair enough, most would say, but it papered over the Vanorian cracks in their attempt to defend a historic 'three-peat'. It also didn't fully show how much Starblaydia have come together as a side, after their opening two defeats in three to their five straight victories to round off the Qualifying.

One thing is sure, this World Cup is going to be incredible.

Final score from Hatire Memorial (60,000 sell out):
Valanora 2 - 2 Starblaydia
(Soler 59, Soldarian 90+2) - (Valrauncion 24, Vegachenko 63)

(Shortly before the Bear-Belles departed from home to participate in the actual World Cup...)


In a comfortable looking conference room somewhere in the city of Council Groves, a meeting about the Bear-Belles and the World Cup is being held. Present are the team’s manager & chief coach, Bob Smith; the team’s captain, Marra SunDaughter; the complete governing committee of the Bears Armed Association for Soccer; Beorra o Berrum, the nation’s ‘Chairbear of the Committee for The Strangers’ (i.e. ‘Foreign Minister’) with several members of her staff; and a number of other individuals whom you haven’t seen before…

“Firstly,” Beorra says, “I would like to convey both my own congratulations and those of the government of the whole to the Bear-Belles and their management. I must admit that when people started talking as though they seriously expected the team to qualify for this competition, after the ‘Baptism of Fire’ victory, I was one of the doubters. Still, you managed to come through with a good enough result… even if it was only a single last-minute goal that made the difference. That being the case, I can now confirm that the government will be making the funds that were requested for upgrading Plumtrees Park and establishing a national training programme available.”
(There is a brief round of applause.)
“Oh, that goal! Rather typical of Harroya to manage it so late in the game, I suppose: I don’t know whether the Bairrds will be singing about it, but some of our team’s fans are already doing so…” comments Bob Smith.
“And this brings me to the second point on my list,” Beorra continues. “Congratulations are also due to Mr Smith here, separately, for his having obtained dual nationality — here in Bears Armed, now, as well as in his native Old Ceorana — by managing to get adopted as a full member of ‘Clan Gunnar’. I gather that you’ve joined the ‘Thunder’ demi-clan, Bob, but have you chosen a proper ‘Ursine’ forename yet?”
“Yes, I have: As the full form of my human name is ‘Robert Henry Smith’, and another way of saying the middle part of that is ‘Harry’, and ‘Arri’ is a perfectly good Ursine name too, I’m now on the Clan’s membership boards as ‘Arri o Thunder’…”
“Well, then, here’s to Arri o Thunder!” exclaimed Beorra, raising the tankard of ale that had been sitting on the table in front of her and gesturing with this… Everybody else present except for Bob Smith/Arri o Thunder followed suit.
“Arri o Thunder!” they toasted, and took a deep drink in his honour. Bob/Arri blushed slightly. “My thanks to you all,for this welcome into your nation’s people” he replied. “I hope to remain worthy of your respect.”
"I’m sure that you will,” Beorra said. “Now, I believe that the Chairbear of the B.A.A.S. is supposed to be the next to speak…”

“Thank you, Madam Chairbear,” that dignitary replied. “So, here we go. Not just to play in the nation of ‘Candelaria and Marquez’, whose government tries to convince its people that humans are the only sapient beings around, but to play in the very same group as that nation’s own team! Truly, the Great Bear has an “interesting” sense of humour… Hr’rmm, the first time that we originally ran into any of that country’s people was — as far as I know — back at the last set of Summer Olympics. Their officials there responded to those encounters by placing those of their athletes who’d competed against any of ours under ‘house arrest’, to keep them from saying anything in public that would contradict the government’s stated views. What are they going to dothis time, lock up their actual national soccer team and all of the fans who come to see it play against the Belles?”

“Maybe they simply won’t allow any of their people to be spectators at the Belles’ matches?” suggested one of Beorra’s assistants.
(Chairbear of BAAS) “Hr’rmm, maybe, and if they do that then when we play against their team having fans cheering the Belles while there’s nobody there for their opponents would be an extra advantage…”
(Beorra’s aide) “But given their attitude to our existence, will they even let our supporters into the country in the first place?”
(Chairbear of BAAS) “I’m pretty certain that they’ll have to do so, under World Cup Committee rules. If they makes any trouble about it then we’ll protest to the WCC, anyway, and the Belles have been instructed to go on a sit-down strike in the middle of the pitch if they turn up for a game and find that our fans have been excluded from the stadium… That’s right, isn’t it, ‘Arri’?”
(Bob ‘Arri Thunder’ Smith) “That’s right, yes.”

(Beorra o Berrum) “So how many of our people are going there, anyway? Colonel Chretien…” (She turned to face a male human, the only member of that species apart from Bob ‘Arri Thunder’ Smith who’s present, who looks as though he’s probably in his fifties and is wearing a smart uniform…) “I gather that, as well as serving as ‘Routemaster’ for the Belles and their entourage again as you did during both the ‘Baptism of Fire’ and the qualifying series, you’ve agreed to help coordinate travel and accommodation arrangements for the organised groups of supporters too. How many people do those groups include, so far?”
(Colonel Chretien) “About two-eights-plus-four of eight-cubeds, so far, and there will probably be more added to those rolls during the next few days as well. Because things have been so peaceful around here in recent years, and that situation seems fairly unlikely to change in the immediate future, a number of clans have allowed all those members of their militias and other armed forces who want to go to this contest to take leave simultaneously for that purpose. They’ll have to leave their weapons at home, of course, but we’ve arranged to treat this as a mobilisation exercise so they’ll be travelling in their units. The hope is that these groups will provide disciplined cores for the other supporters, both to help keep them from too much unfortunate” (“Ahem!”) “wildness — even in the face of possible provocation from the native team’s own supporters, or the local authorities — and to stand up to any excessive pressure from those sources that might occur. I’ll be heading out there with the team, and will then act as liaison between those groups leaders ‘in the field’ and the high command back here. And of course I'll also be on hand if those roups' Ursine leaders need a Human to deal with the local authorities.”
(Beorra) “Hr’rmm, that’s probably not a bad idea, considering the situation, at least as long as none of those groups lets itself get goaded into an ‘organised’ rampage, but as it concerns dealings with foreigners shouldn’t [b]my committee have been consulted before the decision was confirmed?”
(Colonel Chretien) “We ran it past the Committee for Tiger, ma’m, didn’t anybody there bring the matter to your notice?” (He looks slightly perturbed.)
(Beorra) “No, they didn’t. Hr’rmm, it’s not your fault and I do trust your reputation for organising things: Go ahead, I’ll just have to sort out why I wasn’t asked with them[/i]. Anyway, let’s leave that for now and go on to the[/i] next matter on our agenda: Getting on well with the locals.”
(There is a chorus of moans and groans…)
“Yes, I realise that the bigoted views of our hosts-to-be’s government will be a problem, and we obviously can’t comply with their own traditions as they requested to the extent of not being a mainly-Ursine nation, but — in the interests of making a good impression on the rest of the outside world — the government has decided that we will make a few concessions… and will give the travelling supporters, and the team and everybody who’s accompanying it there, a pamphlet explaining these_
For one thing, if any of the locals ask about our people’s appearance, our nation’s name and the meaning of the term ‘Ursine’, we are asking that the reply be something along the lines of “That is because we are people with a lot of hair”: That’s true enough in its way, anyhow, given that our definition of the term ‘people’ covers all sapient beings even if the locals’ definition doesn’t do so, and harmless enough.
Then, we’re reminding everybody who’s going that the noses of the Worlds will be on this tournament and that we want to make a good impression on them as a nation and prove that we aren’t just ravening beasts as some outsiders have suggested. Each person involved is therefore to consider themselves an ‘ambassador’ for our nation and people, and to mind their manners accordingly… even though, unfortunately, we can’t arrange diplomatic immunity for all of them.
Also, we’re explaining that Human cultures commonly tend to regard both dogs and cats as precious pets — or at least as useful working animals — rather than as potential sources of food… and so, for example, the term ‘Hot Dog’ will probably be applied to ‘Sausage-inna-bun’ — and that item will probably involve pork, or even chicken — rather than to a type of highly-spiced stew.
And so on. Anyway, here are your copies of the pamphlet, and more to distribute amongst your personnel” (She gestures forwards one of her staff members, who is carrying a box which they place on the table. She opens this, and passes bundles of the leaflets around…)
“Hr’right, that’s my side of things dealt with, unless any of you have any more questions to ask?” Beorra concluded. “No further questions? Good. That being the case, I will now pass the gavel to the Chairbear of the BAAS.”

“Thank you, Madam Chairbear,” replied that person. “Hokay, now that that difficult topic has been got out of the way, let’s discuss the opponents whom our team is scheduled to face on the pitch. Firstly, ‘Dancougar’ who, as their country hosted the 'Baptism of Fire', should already know quite a bit about how we play…


After a while Beorra and her staff leave, as do the supporters’ representatives, and the conversation turns into a discussion of logistical matters associated with the team’s trip abroad.

"At least," commented Marra SunDaughter, as the meeting was winding down, "the locals' claim of respect for their traditons means that they shoudn't be able to object to us using some of ours, such as the 'harrdiharr', or to our supporters' drums..."
"Don't count on them being that logical or fair..." Colonel Chretien responded, more cynically.


_______________________________________________________________


The railways have laid on extra services to carry all of the fans who are travelling abroad to support the Belles in Candelaria and Marquez, and trainloads are already heading westwards towards the airports in the neighbouring nation of ‘Mikitivity’ where they’ll commence the next stage of their journey. Many of the people aboard those trains are singing, although they don’t all agree on which song to sing at any one time…


“We’re on the march with Arri’s Army,
Going to Candelabras and Marquees;
And we’ll really shake them up,
When we win that big World Cup,
For Bears Armed are the furriest soccer team!
Yes!
For Bears Armed are the greatest soccer team!
Yes!
For Bears Armed are the furriest soccer team!”

* * * * * * *

“Nice one, Harroya;
Nice one, girl!
Nice one, Harroya _
You really are a pearl!”

* * * * * * *

“Mush-a-room, sausages, herbal cha,
Toast for my supper, oh;
Toast for my supper, oh,
There’s Honey in the jar.”

* * * * * * *

“Three full eights of Kodiaks,
Came down from Khadderach;
And when the Ball was over,
They couldn’t find their way back.

Singing," (OOC: and perhaps it would be best if we left that song there… ;))

* * * * * * *

“We’re on the march with Arri’s Army,
Going to Candelabras and Marquees;
And we’ll really shake them up,
When we win that big World Cup,
For Bears Armed are the furriest soccer team!
Yes!
For Bears Armed are the greatest soccer team!
Yes!
For Bears Armed are the furriest soccer team!”

* * * * * * *

“And did those paws, in ancient time,
Wander through BearHome’s forests gre-een?
And did those”
(OOC: This song, I still need to do some more work on...)

* * * * * * *

“Over there! Over there!
Every bird, spread the word, over there:
That the Bears are coming,
The Bears are coming,
We’re drum, drum, drumming everywhere!”
(BOOM! BOOM!
Rat-a-Tat-a-Tat-a-Tat-a-Tat!
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!)
“So beware, say a prayer,
If you get in our way over there!
Over, we’ll push you over,
And we aren’t just _
‘Humans, with a lot of hair’!”

* * * * * * *

“We’re on the march with Arri’s Army,
Going to Candelabras and Marquees;
And we’ll really shake them up,
When we win that big World Cup,
For Bears Armed are the furriest Soccer team!
Yes!
For Bears Armed are the greatest Soccer team!
Yes!
For Bears Armed are the furriest Soccer team!”


_____________________________________________________


OOC: The name “Candelabras and Marquees” originated as a typo in one of the country’s main newspapers back during the last Summer Olympics, and became quite widely used amongst those of Bears Armed’s people who actually talk about the outside world. Bearing in mind the Candelarian/Marquesian government’s attitude towards the existence of Ursines (and towards non-human sapients in general), nobody in authority here really cared enough to put any effort into clarifying the point until the fact that the team would be playing there became known… so a lot of the fans will still use that misnomer…

Most of the team’s supporters will behave themselves properly in C&M, at least unless seriously provoked, thanks to the mixture of official requests to make their nation look good and social pressure from those of their fellow clan-mates who are also present, but there will probably still be some cases of loud drunkenness (if adequate amounts of alcohol are available locally, or they were allowed to bring the stuff in ‘for personal consumption’) and this might lead to a few brawls… Fighting is likely to be between rival groups of Ursines (by Clan, or by support for differing teams back home…) rather than with the local humans, because most of the Bears would consider “picking on the [weak] Humans” to be NOT acceptable behaviour.
The previously-granted permission to god-mode does NOT extend to having large numbers of these supporters run riot, to having them eat anything (or anybody…;)) that they really shouldn’t, or to having any of them wish that they were Human instead of Ursine: It most certainly does NOT extend to actually changing their species… Well, not unless you’ve really got an actual ‘God’ on hand to do the job, anyway, and even if that is the case I’d appreciate being asked TGed with a request for permission beforehand…
And no, they will NOT be sexually-attracted either to Humans or to any non-sapient Bears that might be in the local zoos (and they would probably accept the presence of non-sapient Bears in those zoos, as long as the animals seemed to be being treated reasonably…).

If anybody wants to involve Colonel Chretien in their RP then he’s a professional military officer by nature, not overly demonstrative, definitely intelligent, and inclined to think first rather than to act rashly but certainly brave enough when necessary. His family are of ‘Huguenot’ (i.e. French Protestant) origins, part of a community whose ancestors arrived in Bears Armed as refugees from persecution by their old homeland’s [then] Roman Catholic leaders several centuries ago: They have retained their ancestral religion, more or less, but have also absorbed enough of the Ursine attitude towards matters of faith to tolerate alternative viewpoints pretty well… and the Colonel won’t even find it awkward dealing with ‘Papists’, at least if & when his job requires this, unless they themselves are unduly difficult about things. He owes the nation loyalty for this historical reason, as well as professionally, and will NOT respond favourably to any hints that he might either defect from its service or become any Human-run nation’s spy there. He will NOT drink to excess, even if the Ursines around him are doing so, and smokes a pipe rather than cigars or cigarettes. During his youth, when Bears Armed was still basically “sealed” against intrusion from its mostly-Human neighbours, he spent about a decade travelling abroad (probably, for at least part of that time, as a mercenary soldier) and so is more aware of how other nations work than most of his associates. Oh, and his first name is ‘Jacques’.

I stand here today, humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed. To announce the Matchday One RP cut-off for groups E, F, G and H.

Say Amen! (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14419813&postcount=20)

"Mr. President!"

"What is it Mr. Wallace?"

"The world cup. It's started and..."

"Oh yeah that soccer thing, did we send a team this year?"

'Yes sir, but with budget cuts, poor economy causing a media blackout no one seems to have noticed and..."

"Well i'm sure the team will do well this year. hey why is there an invoice for two soccer balls designated for team use? Couldn;t thy get by with one like everyone else?"

"Well Mr. president, they thought it was needed in case there was trouble with the first one and they needed a spare. I beleive the Tynelian Soccer Federation fired one of the groundskeepers to pay for it. But.."

"hmm that will work. Budget is tight these days, glad to see they're thinking ahead. Anyway, let me know when this thing starts."

"That's just it Mr. president it did."

"Really, damn i missed the first match then. let me know about the next game."

"Actually Mr. President, the entire qualifiers have finished."

"A;lready? What was it a short cup, two teams in it or something?"

"No sir, no one really paid any attention and the whole thing just whizzed right by everyone. we did win our group though. Our record wasn;t up to our usual standards though."

"A-ha, it was one of those cultists we haven't quite wiped out right? We can deal with them all now!"

"No Mr. President, the TSF decided the NOCCRO members were the reason why the team couldn;t get over the hump the past few cups so they ensured they wouldn;t be running things this time."

"So which of the league coaches got the job- was it Blankenship from the Ferrets? Great name for a goalie i have to say. he had a good season."

"No sir, all the league coaches wanted too much money. we had to hire Guy Riley from Perduc."

"Riley who's he? and there's no team in Perduc."

"Well you see he's the high school coach of the Perduc Kittens. The kittens lost their team due to budget trouble and he was available. and willing to work for a very reasonable price considering our own budget problems."

"Hmm, sound slike the TSF has everything under control. let me know if we win it all."

"Yes Mr. president."

I, Kura-Pelland, do solemnly swear to cut-off the RP opportunities for this opening matchday for all remaining teams who have not faced this fate already...

...and to bring new opportunities to gain an RP bonus upon reacting to the events of Matchday One. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=14420202#post14420202)

A draw? Against the third highest-rated team in the contest? The Bears are celebrating...
(OOC: but, alas, RL means that I'll now have to be offline for about 46 hours...)

Purple Knights Fall To Demot

In yet another game where they had no chance to win it, last night the Knights took on the team from the land of Demot. the other team showed up prepared for a beatdown, and as many fans and sportswriters predicted the Knights went down quick and easy. Like a drunk girl on a friday night the Knights let the Demot team walk all over them. What everyone had expected, and predicted cam true and the Purple Knights came out of the gam 3 points down from the leader and just out of the knockouts.

The Knights never had a chance. From the very begining the leaner, sronger players on the Demot side forced there way around the field and squashed the leaner, faster Taeshani players. The Knights were like a squashed bug on a window being wiped away. The Demot team scored to goals in the 4oth, and 47th minute and thus continued to tun into a defensive squad. The Knights puish to come back was a failure, at which looked partially like an attempt, but was mostly just a fallback.

Up next for the Purple Knights is Kura Pelland. We believe that they go by the harsh name of the Arrows. The two countries have met before in Lacrosse, Football, and I remeber a few times in baseball. They are one of the hosts, and in fact are hosting the region in which we are located in or else we wouldnt be playing them. The Arrows are another great team, and will most likely wip[e the Knights awat like sweat on a forehead. However bad the game ends i can gurantee to you, the fans, that the Knights will come out of the game win, tie, or a knockout lose we will come out with outr heads high. We are not quitters and we will play to the end.

World Cup 44 Qualification - Group 2
MD1: 2-0 vs [42] West Zirconia (@ Munhwa Football Stadium - 65,000, Hanseong)
MD2: 0-2 @ [???] Sarzonia (@ Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium - 88,920, Woodstock)
MD3: 5-0 vs [76] Dariusville (@ Potala Palace - 34,000, Lasa)
MD4: 2-0 @ [54] Liventia (@ Colonial Stadium, Orean)
MD5: 2-0 vs [1] Valanora (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium - 200,000, Hangyeong)
MD6: 1-0 @ [34] Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colosseum - 599,000, Atlantea)
MD7: 3-0 vs [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium - 80,000, Gwangju)
MQ: 1-4 @ Sorthern Northland (@ somewhere new and special, but I haven't a clue...)
MD8: @ 4-0 [42] West Zirconia (@ Manchester Street - 85,000, Moorcroft)
MD9: 2-0 vs [???] Sarzonia (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium - 50,000, Daebo)
MD10: 3-0 @ [76] Dariusville (@ Humphra Ignhorium - 2,000, some forest in Dariusville)
MD11: 3-1 vs [54] Liventia (@ Silk Road Stadium - 56,000, Seoan)
MD12: 5-1 @ [1] Valanora (@ Hatire Memorial - 60,000, Capri)
MD13: 2-1 vs [34] Taeshan (@ Tae-majt Park - 69,000, Pyeongyang)
MD14: 3-1 @ [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ worse than in a beer bottle)
PQ: 6-2 @ Your Worst Nightmare (@ Your Nightmare's House)
World Cup 44 - Group C
MD1: vs 2-0 [31] Septentrionia (@ La Escalera Naranja, Onwere)
MD2: vs [9] Capitalizt SLANI (@ The Marble Ground, El din)
MD3: vs [21] Sorthern Northland (@ Estadio Arrigo Nacional, Arrigo)



MBC World Cup Special Report
http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t156/daehanjeiguk/news.png

Crazy Frenchies from Septentrionia Fail to Impress - Han Win 2-0

ONWERE - In a match spotted with speculation that the Han were going to fall at the first sight of a newbish team, perhaps it means that the Septentrionians were not newbish. But whatever the case, Kim Daeeui gave a prominent display and netted the first goal of the match early in the 6th minute, and afterwards confronted a team full of a flag-waving nationalists. Of course, I thought that the Septentrionian flag wasn't a drab white sheet-cloth, but I've been wrong before. Anyway, the Septentrionian team was better equipped to face the Han than their last encounter (a 4-0 rout in WC43), and despite the presence of large loaves of bread smothered with cheese in the stands, they did not turn into monkeys. In fact, the game was all too normal.

I'd blame the Candelarisian public; they're too squeamish about "foreign" things, even more so than Han typically are. At least a Han citizen knows what a giant sentient blancmange looks like; these people think that we're cracking bad jokes. And thankfully, we have a number of our players playing in Candelaria And Marquez; unfortunately, I think we're on the wrong island, as there were a number of anti-Albrecht folks standing in the crowd; even CandAM didn't see too many happy fans (and here I was thinking there was no one in the world who knew what CandAM was...). Fortunately, speaking the dialect of the Seoban Jonam Islanders (i.e. Spanish) was a positive sign for a number of the fans (unfortunately, I don't speak a smacking of it); so that's really good news for people in the Jonam Islands who want a vacation trip. Go to Marquez! Not Candelaria! If that makes any sense at all...

Anyway, back to those crazy Septentrionians who speak the language of the frogs (oh, and they do eat frog legs too). After the halftime, a number of their fans starting throwing pistachios, much to the chagrin of a number of the Han fans, especially the crickets. But owing to the "normalcy" attitude of the people in Marquez, neither the crickets nor the fans did anything about it. In fact, I'd say that the Marquezians (?) were more troubled by the Septentrionians, who threw pistachio nuts at just anyone (I thought they threw the nuts only at whores... either that, or they must have changed their sexual preferences...), who wave their national colors (I still insist white is a horrible color for a flag), and who have that awfully awkward accent. At least some Han can speak Spanish.

But for all of their dramatic show (almost like watching Italian Opera...), the Septentrionian team fell behind even further as Go Jeongeun managed a brilliant cross over the back line over across to An Pilrip, who knocked it past the goalkeeper; clinical Han finishing (six years ago, you wouldn't hear me say that). And the game would finish a solid 2-0 win for the Han, who head into their match against the SLANI with a win away from qualifying for the Second Round. The SLANI met Sorthern Northland today and managed a meager 2-2 draw with the drunken folk. Doubtless, there will be folks sporting the BuyAGoal.com website, looking to stack the odds in their favor against the Han.

In other World Cup news, Valanora squashed Peisandros with a 4-0 goal margin. Jeruselem managed to beat their nightmares and forced a 2-0 win over the Holy Empire. In Group B, Starblaydia won their first match 2-0 over Bazalonia, while Kosovoe managed an upset 3-1 win over the monks of the Archregimancy. The two winners will meet in their next match to decide who's topping the group going into the final match. Group D saw the hosts drawing a very slender 1-0 win over Ad'ihan. It'll be good encouragement for C&M, who head against Dancougar in their next match. Dancougar managed their own 1-1 draw against the Bears (whom the Marquezian public insist are really just overgrown men who didn't shave that morning - or any morning... I'm not sure how the people on the other island think about it...), and will nonetheless be looking to score a win to qualify for the next round. In Kura-Pelland, Cafundeu and Yafor 2 scored wins against their opponents; they'll have the opportunity to settle a score between each other next match. In Group F, Bostopia won 3-1 over Lovisa, while Jeru FC surprisingly took a 1-0 win over Wentland (maybe not so surprising...). Vephrall took the lead in Group G with a 1-0 win over Qazox, while Milchama and Krytenia drew equal blood in what I can imagine was a huge goal fest 3-3 draw. Finally, hosts Kura-Pelland took a 3-0 win over Tynelia, while Demot won 2-0 over Taeshan.

As we've stated, a win over the SLANI in MD2 will all but settle the Han in for the Second Round, since the best other score would be too short of 6 points to knock the Han out of the race. Nonetheless, if the Han beat the SLANI, Sorthern Northland will want to have a good win over Septentrionia to have a better assured spot in the Second Round; at the same time, Septentrionia will be fighting elimination and will hope to get at least one point to save themselves from elimination. And if you're not hoping, cheering, praying, buying for a win, then you're doing something wrong. Get the next airplane ticket to Marquez (I repeat, MARQUEZ; otherwise, you'll be stuck on the other island) and come cheer for the Han. You know you want to.


=== === ===

The referee called the team captains together. It was almost a farce, but it was a necessary farce. "Well, I think we all know each other," he said. "We all know the rules. We know the way. Let's play and have some fun too. Player-haters will be carded without a doubt, so don't make me pull them out." The captains nodded and with that, Pak called the team together. He could feel the anxiety on their faces already. It was a home match, and their fans were cheering for them. But they all still knew the sort of menace that #10 could pose to them on the field. Pak tried to get that out of their minds.

"This is our home. We must defend it with all of our hearts. I've just heard from Jang - he wants us to win. He wants us to have our fun. We have the Board here today too. We have our fans here today. We shouldn't disappoint them. We won't disappoint them. We'll have our fun and then we'll walk away as winners. Nothing less. Not even a draw. We'll have our chances, but we'll need to make them all count. You've all got strong players here; we'll need to work together though. This is a tough team, led by that one #10. But we know how they play. We know what they do. We have the advantage. We just need to win." Pak paused to let the words soak into the players' heads. Now he would begin perhaps the most difficult thing in his career. "So, we're going to start out there with Kim Shinyok at the striker position again. Midfield: Wang Suncheol, left; Yim Sumin, right; Ban Geumho, center left; Kim Chunjeon, center right; and Shin Hongdo, center. Defense: Min Taesei on right, Kim Jeongeun on left, No Chansu on center right, Bae Cheolgwan center left. Yang Cheonhun, as always, in goal."

He gazed up at the players, each looking at him with awe-struck eyes. They were wondering if it was a mistake. Bae in for Pak out? Maybe he was afraid to see their faces glimmer like that. Maybe so, but he knew that it was the right decision. Still, it hurt to watch his friends look at him so, like he was abandoning them on the field before the match. He tried to ignore it. "Well, you've got a good game ahead of you. Make us all proud. Great Thunder on three." It wasn't their loudest cheer, but Pak still shouted as loud as he could. It was a cry that was hopefully assuring; he was still on the team, even if he wasn't on the field. And doubtless, #10 was a bit surprised himself; but both Bae and Pak knew that he had made the right decision. Whether or not the scoreline at the end of the match would confirm that choice was yet to be seen.

Pak took his seat next to the subs - Gang Sunhwan, Yi Yongyong, An Seunghak, Yi Eundae, and Yi Jongchoe. They sat at the bench, hesitating to ask him why he was sitting with them. In over a hundred matches, he had never sat on the bench, unless he wanted to rest. And they knew that the other team was a better team than what they were giving them credit for. So why was he sitting there?

"We have to cheer for our friends," he said, standing up. He refused to sit. The others, looking at each other, stood up also and waited for the pivotal moment for the whistle to blow. Before then, there was a chance to change, but Pak was already settled on his choice. The whistle blew.

Purple Knights Set To Face Gracious Hosts

Tomorrow the Knights will take on the coveted World Cup co-hosts, and the very team that has welcomed the Knights so graciously to there hom,eland to play this beloved sports. Yes, theywill be playing the ageold Kura Pelland team. A long time ago people formed the nation of Kaze Progressa. They are long forgotten now, tis a shame, but anyways that land is a direct predecessor to what we all now know as the land of Kura Pelland. Wether there team be known as the Arrows, or the Chmipanzees they are gracious hosts, and a kind humble people.

Know that all the flattery is over with we can get down to some business. the Knights need to win tomorrow. I am betting they are trainging very hard for the game, as fans you should all be supportive and get ready for the ageold sport of cheering. It may be a hopeless, and even perhaps a loss cause to cheer the Knights on in this World Cup, but at least look lively out there fans. They are representing your ountry and they deserve our respect. Hopefully we can tie one of the next two games and go home happily. But dont bet on it.

Kate: Yes, the material plane beats the Dream Realm!
Ryan: Great work team. This is a big step forward, but we just need another win.
Marie: If we don't make the 2nd round, it's a failure.
Kate: Jeru FC beat Wentland TWO ONE!

Ryan: Say what?
Kate: Yeah, Jeru FC won! The Gods must be on our side today.
Marie: Let's give the Count a call then!
Ryan: You can call him, he likes to talking to women.

Marie: I'll call him later, he likes talking a lot.
Kate: In like the coach here, a man of few words.
Ryan: Hey, I don't need to talk a lot. I'm not a female.
Kate: So, can we play better?

Ryan: I don't know, The Holy Empire players tried to avoid you like the plague.
Marie: Because I'm some unholy whore who isn't to be touched.
Kate: Or the spawn of the Great Whore herself.
Ryan: Kate, you're Dazza spawn too. Sort of ...

Kaz: Who's spawning around here?
Sadie: What's spawning?
Ryan: You do know what that is Sadie.
Kaz: I don't have kids yet.

Ryan: Back to topic team, we have two games to go here. We need to win one of them or hopefully win both.
Kate: Them pointy eared elves are going to be hard to beat.
Ryan: Yes, but if we beat .. P ... you know who, we can afford a loss to the Elves.
Marie: Yes, I want everyone here to put in 150% against that them and the one against the Elves too.

Kate: Well, off to Caires now.
Ryan: Oh yes, we're staying at Knockers.
Jay: I've been there.
Oksana: I heard the girls there are the best in C&M.

Marie: Well, the girls from Jeruselem will show how it's really done.
Sadie: Is that us ... you mean.
Marie: Yes, Sadie. That's us.
Ryan: You behave yourself Jay. OK team, everyone clean up and we'll be back to the hotel. We're going to Caires.

Kate: Coach, you're an impartial party. Who's got the bigger knockers? Me or Marie!
Ryan: Do I have to answer that?
Marie: Come on coach, you're a man. You know what we want to know.
Ryan: It'd be Kate, Marie's look bigger because she's smaller.

Kate: See? I win!
Marie: Oh well, but mine are nicer.
Jay: I like both sets myself.
Kaz: Hmm, I'm rather flat in that area.

Oksana: Say, what happened to the Qazian team?
Ryan: Err, they lost 0-1 to Vephrall. Not good ...
Oksana: But they were doing so well.
Ryan: But it's Qazox, we suck when it comes to finals.

Marie: Oh yes, you're not from the Dreamed Realm or Material Plane, you're from the Q Continuum.
Ryan: Yes, I'm Q person.
Kate: Rather confusing I think.
Marie: That's time/space for you.