NationStates Jolt Archive

Apes. Monks. Elves. Whores. Bears. Ruskies. Diplomatic Incidents. Murder. Aggravated Manslaughter. Your Worst Nightmare. Taeshan.

And football, on occasion. It’s…

The

http://i37.tinypic.com/2ywb8eb.png

RP Thread


Handy Links
Pre-Cup RP Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=577426)
Roster Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=577429)
Baptism of Fire 31 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=575159)
World Cup Discussion Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=536285)
KP/C&M Bid Thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=574261) (will contain finals stadia and whatnot at a later date)

World Cup 44 Qualifying Draw

GROUP 1
1 Alversia (83)
2 AruthKandageLand (127)
3 The Doobie Brothers (NR)
4 Bostopia (4) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14335597&postcount=23))
5 Kosovoe (44) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14330617&postcount=5))
6 Ad'ihan (15) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14358002&postcount=50))
7 Yafalonia and Bazor 2 (28)
8 The Bostopian Empire (70) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14355476&postcount=43))

GROUP 2
1 Daehanjeiguk (11) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14357429&postcount=48))
2 West Zirconia (42) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14348531&postcount=31))
3 Sarzonia (NR) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14330690&postcount=7))
4 Dariusville (76) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14358055&postcount=51))
5 Liventia (54)
6 Valanora [Elves Security Forces] (1) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14332508&postcount=14))
7 Taeshan (34) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14330598&postcount=4))
8 O Ale Ale (NR)

GROUP 3
1 Bazalonia (24) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14359506&postcount=54))
2 Bactrian Camels (NR)
3 Wentland (16)
4 Koseli Cumhuriyetler [formerly K&TT] (62) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14330438&postcount=3))
5 Solenial (152)
6 Demot (2) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14353798&postcount=41))
7 Syktyvkar (98)
8 Arroza (49) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14358077&postcount=52))

GROUP 4
1 Jeru FC (26) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14335469&postcount=22))
2 Googlewoop (87) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14335158&postcount=18))
3 Cassadaigua (53) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14339085&postcount=29))
4 Deep South Sopia (127)
5 Kenavt (47)
6 Capitalizt SLANI [Commerce Heights] (9)
7 Sorthern Northland (21) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14364209&postcount=58))
8 Oiseaui (NR) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14337048&postcount=26))

GROUP 5
1 Peisandros (84) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14359820&postcount=55))
2 Lovisa (17)
3 Tynelia (8)
4 Rymeria (NR) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14349113&postcount=32))
5 Terreiro de Ogum (32) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14353738&postcount=39))
6 Euro Federations (NR)
7 Green wombat (40) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14335316&postcount=21))
8 Secristan (60) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14352549&postcount=34))

GROUP 6
1 Rennidan (27) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14331025&postcount=9))
2 Qazox (18) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14332197&postcount=13))
3 St Samuel (NR) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14357948&postcount=49))
4 Akbarabad (120) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14335276&postcount=19))
5 Operata (143) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14375009&postcount=61))
6 Kelssek (35) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14332659&postcount=16))
7 Dancougar (3) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14331386&postcount=11))
8 Colbourne (65) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14355497&postcount=44))

GROUP 7
1 Jaseuyeon [Commerce Heights JSY] (22)
2 Draistania (NR) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14347754&postcount=30))
3 Jeruselem (13) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14332964&postcount=17))
4 Starblaydia (6) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14332584&postcount=15))
5 Greal (58) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14331959&postcount=12))
6 Chutnusak (86)
7 Idanno (147)
8 Urna Eletrônica (50) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14374999&postcount=60))

GROUP 8
1 Docky (80)
2 Krytenia (29) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14355513&postcount=45))
3 East Pocono (NR) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14357370&postcount=47))
4 Lecland (126) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14337286&postcount=27))
5 Universitus University [Jey] (56)
6 Quakmybush (40)
7 The Archregimancy (12) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14353545&postcount=36))
8 Vephrall (7) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14359199&postcount=53))

GROUP 9
1 The Holy Empire [Alasdair I Frosticus] (20) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14353463&postcount=35))
2 Quintessence of Dust (NR) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14330907&postcount=8))
3 Septentrionia (31)
4 Newmanistan (36) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14337042&postcount=25))
5 Miroxia (81)
6 Milchama (10) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14368079&postcount=59))
7 Nethertopia (63) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14330421&postcount=2))
8 Alex Ruined Hallelujah (NR)

GROUP 10
1 Brightonburg (NR) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14338439&postcount=28))
2 Iseerussiafrommyhouse (136)
3 Myedvedeya (55) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14330680&postcount=6))
4 Blouman Empire (39)
5 Yafor 2 (14) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14356663&postcount=46))
6 Prux (30) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14335311&postcount=20))
7 Bears Armed (84) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14349650&postcount=33))
8 Cafundéu (5) (roster (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14353709&postcount=38))

Fixtures

MD1: 1v2, 3v4, 5v6, 7v8
MD2: 3v1, 4v2, 7v5, 6v8
MD3: 1v4, 2v3, 5v8, 6v7
MD4: 5v1, 6v2, 7v3, 4v8
MD5: 1v6, 2v5, 3v8, 4v7
MD6: 7v1, 8v2, 5v3, 6v4
MD7: 1v8, 2v7, 3v6, 4v5

MD8 to MD14, fixtures reversed

Calendar

Jan 2nd ~ Pre-Qualifying Friendlies
Jan 3rd ~ MD1
Jan 4th through 9th ~ MD2 to MD7
Jan 10th ~ Mid-Qualifying Friendlies
Jan 11th ~ MD8
Jan 12th through 17th ~ MD9 to MD14
Jan 18th ~ Post-Qualifying Friendlies & Group Draw
Jan 20th ~ WC44 MD1 [1v2; 3v4]
Jan 21st ~ Rest Day
Jan 22nd ~ WC44 MD2 [1v3; 2v4]
Jan 23rd ~ Rest Day
Jan 24th ~ WC44 MD3 [1v4; 2v3]
Jan 25th ~ Rest Day
Jan 26th ~ Second Round scorination
Jan 27th ~ Rest Day
Jan 28th ~ Quarter-Finals scorination
Jan 29th ~ Rest Day
Jan 30th ~ Semi-Finals scorinatioin
Jan 31st ~ Third-Place Play-Off scorination
Feb 1st ~ WC44 Final, Shanvley Stadium, Trilan

Chris Hannan fidgeted as he waited for the cameraman to signal it was time to begin. The Rymerian national soccer team was now in the stages of preparing for its inaugural trip into the World Cup proper.

"And you're on in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ..."

The anchorman sitting next to Hannan smiled and looked directly into the camera. Hannan grimaced slightly as he saw the guy look entirely too smooth and at ease. He had no way of knowing the anchor had large ovals of sweat around the armpits of his dress shirt.

"Good afternoon everyone and welcome to SoccerWeek. I'm Darius Wilson. Here with me is Rymerian national team coach Chris Hannan. Chris, the World Cup draw has taken place and Rymeria is in Group 5. What can you tell us about the teams in there?"

Hannan looked at the camera and tried to sound as matter-of-fact as he possibly could.

"Well, Tynelia is the eighth ranked team in the world, so we know they're going to present a lot of problems for many of the teams in our group," Hannan said. "Lovisa we don't know a lot about, but we do know they made a run to the semifinals in World Cup 43. After that are Terreiro de Ogum and Green wombat, teams that could make a run to the final 30.

"After that is Secristan and Peisandros. We know Peisandros lost the finals of the Baptism of Fire Cup, so we expect them to be pretty tough, especially for us. After that is a fellow unranked side, Euro Federations. We don't know anything about them."

"What do you project for Rymeria in the World Cup?"

"Hard to know, Darius. We're facing a couple of quality sides and we're extremely green. Hopefully, our guys will give a good account of themselves and work hard."

"How do you expect to play this World Cup?"

"We're going to have to be disciplined and play tough defense. That's the bottom line. Hopefully, we won't have a lot of space lag flying between Rymeria and Earth."

"You've had a lot of complaints about the Rymerian Soccer Association and the way it's organized this World Cup team. What do you think the RSA should have done differently?"

Hannan drew in his breath.

"Well, I think we should have waited until World Cup 45, when we might have had a better opportunity to get a soccer program in place. Be that as it may, we're going to have a lot of work to do to even be competitive. We know that."

"All right, that's all the time we have. Thank you, Coach."

"Thank you, Darius."

Sarzonia Manager Brian Wilson was checking his e-mail in his office after a practice session.

"Hmm ... more junk. Weekly meeting with the IFF. Group draw."

Wilson clicked on the group draw and immediately groaned.

"We're in group 2," he said. "And we get ... Valanora. Shit. Fuck."

Wilson grabbed a coffee mug full of hot coffee and slammed it against the wall behind his chair.

"I can't fucking believe it," he snapped to no one in particular. All of a sudden, a loud siren started wailing. He'd forgotten that the building's security alarm was on.

After he'd swept up the remnants of the coffee mug and mopped up the coffee, he heard his phone ring. He thought it'd be the alarm company.

"Wilson."

"Coach, this is Brad Clark of the Sarzonian News Network. Got a minute?"

Wilson looked up at the clock in his office anxiously.

"Hey, can I call you back?" Not waiting for an answer, he hung up the phone. No sooner than he did that, the phone rang again.

"Wilson."

"Hello Mr. Wilson, this is ADT. We received a report of activity in your area. Is everything all right."

"Yes, everything's fine. The code word is ... " Wilson thought for a second. Had he used the code word Chucky, it would have sent Woodstock's finest to his office asking questions. He remembered that and said, "Joey."

"Very well, Mr. Wilson, thank you very much. You have a great day."

"Thanks." He hung up the phone. Some day, he muttered. Also facing the world's 10th ranked team Daehanjeiguk was not going to be much fun either. Then there was the matter of the pre-qualifying friendly against Starblaydia in the Mike Sarzo Memorial Cup.

Being a manager was not going to be fun for Wilson. He wished he could return to wearing his hit and playing.

An investigation has been ordered into which member of the Valanoran FA is having what kind of affair with which member of the West Zirconian FA. There can be no other explanation for the fact that the two teams have been drawn together yet again in World Cup Qualifying.

The rest of the draw makes grim reading, as Taeshan, who beat West Zirconia in the Cup of Harmony, and high-flying Daehanjeiguk are placed in the same group.

The qualifying campaign sees the first West Zirconian international to be held in Markham, following on from the successful Cup of Harmony games at Birchfields. Sarzonia will be the visitors. Another ground being given its international début is Redwood Forest's Marc Edwards Memorial Stadium, which will host the pre-qualifying friendly with Newmanistan.

West Zirconian coach Roy Hazell would not be drawn into assessing West Zirconia's chances. Captain Ben Phillips said of his side's chances, "Well, any eleven men can beat any other eleven on the day. Whether we'll be able to do it fourteen times is another matter, but we'll give it a go."


The full fixture list is as follows: (Home fixtures in bold)

Pre-Qualifying Friendly:
Newmanistan (at Marc Edwards Memorial Stadium, Redwood)

Matchday 1: Daehanjeiguk (at Munhwa Football Stadium, Hanseong)
Matchday 2: Dariusville (away)
Matchday 3: Sarzonia (at Birchfields, Markham)
Matchday 4: Valanora (at Hatire Memorial, Capri)
Matchday 5: Liventia (at STORMGroup Stadium, Mort Park)
Matchday 6: O Ale Ale (away)
Matchday 7: Taeshan (at KPM Stadium, Snaith)

Mid-Qualifying Friendlies:

Myedvedeya (at Williamson Park, Banks)
Candelaria And Marquez (at Estadio Arrigo Nacional, Arrigo)

Matchday 8: Daehanjeiguk (at Manchester Street, Moorcroft)
Matchday 9: Dariusville (at Williamson Park, Banks)
Matchday 10: Sarzonia (at Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium, Woodstock)
Matchday 11: Valanora (at Manchester Street, Moorcroft)
Matchday 12: Liventia (away)
Matchday 13: O Ale Ale (at City of Houghton Stadium, Houghton)
Matchday 14: Taeshan (at Docktown Memorial)

Group Draw Announced For World Cup 44

It's time for yet another foray into the world of soccer, for the Purple Knights of Taeshan. The Knights are entering there seventh cup, as marked by there first entrance into the World Cup Player Hall Of Fame. That player would be there coach for the past few years, and there second highest goal scoring player in the history of the program. For the Seventh time the Knights will try to make the World Cup, they've only made once before in the 41st cup hosted by there biggest competitors, and an unlikely team Ad'han. Know they will hopefully make it to there second cup behind there team leader Tad Montague, and there highest scorer ever Brian Ying Uing.

The Knights will have to face seven teams in fourteen games to make there second appearance. Fitting since the team is in there seventh attempt at the most famous tournament in the world. Tese seven teams are those very same competitors the Daehanjeiguk team, the team we beat to win the Cup Of Harmony just months ago West Zirconia, a young squad from the Nethertopian protectorate of Dariusville, the number 1 team in the world Valanora, the young team from Liventia, the young Sarzonians and another young team from the land of O Ale Ale. It will not be easy as the group will be toughly contested by the Knights, the westerners, the han and the Elves. It will be a toughy to get through, but the two that do will have had the best preperation possilbe to make the finals.

Schedule
Taeshan Vs O Ale Ale @ X Island Metropark 200,000 Seats
Taeshan VS Liventia @ Docktown Memorial Stadium 499,000 Seats
Taeshan @ Valanora
Taeshan VS Sarzonia @ Docktown Memorial
Taeshan @ Dariusville
Taeshan VS Daehnajeiguk @ Atlantea Colliseum 599,000 Seats
Taeshan @ West Zirconia
Taeshan @ O Ale Ale
Taeshan @ Liventia
Taeshan VS Valanora @ Atlantea Colliseum
Taeshan @ Sarzonia
Taeshan VS Dariusville @ X Island Metropark
Taeshan @ Daehanjeiguk
Taeshan VS West Zirconia @ Docktown Memorial Park

From: Lady Dazzarina Handiskya Dallas of Jeruselem
To: Count Mikhail Ilyevitch Fedorov of Myedvedeya

I am writing to you to confirm you have been selected as the coach of Jeru FC. We had an excellent contender from Nethertopia as your rival but in the end the selection panel selected you. Due to timing, you will not be able to take over the team for the friendly against Bears Armed but will be taking over the first official games in qualifying.

Your first week in Jeruselem will be spent completing the mountains of paperwork required. I've asked my daughter Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas to help you out here, and yes she is still single but definitely not a virgin. There's no time to waste!

PS - As a first time visitor to Jeruselem, it's easy to get mixed up between Kate Dallas, Kate Sallad and Marie.

President of the Jeruselem FA
Lady Dazzarina Handiskya Dallas of Jeruselem

The Bostopian Empire's F.A. Headquarters, Adoros City, Adoros.

Kulvir Singh, manager of the Empire's football team put the phone down in a state of disbelief.

“I can't believe it.” He said, turning to his assistant manager, Rajinder Dhaliwal.

“What's up?” Rajinder asked.

“We're being blackmailed by Bostopia.”

“Not for the first time though, Kulvir, we've got through before.”

“But have we been blackmailed by three ministers at the same time? The Ministry of Empirical Affairs, the Foreign Ministry and the Ministry of Sport are on our backs!”

Rajinder looked up from the computer screen, with a look on his face that knew bad news was coming.

“Wha'? What do they want of us now?”

“Well, they've decided that unless we agree that they get final say on where our home game against Bostopia is played, they'll pull all funding, political support, everything else and basically ban us from entering qualifiers for World Cup 45.”

“You had no choice then?”

“No.”

“And where exactly do they want to play this game my friend?”

Kulvir told Rajinder. Rajinder didn't like the answer.

---Fifth Floor, Fort Boston Castle, Fort Boston, Bostopia---

The Emperor looked out of his back window across the lawn at the rear of his Castle, hoping against hope that no-one put the ball in his petunias.

-----------------------------------------------------------

The Bostopian Empire's F.A. is pleased to announce it's fixture list and stadia to be used during Qualifiying for World Cup 44, hosted in Kura-Pelland and Candelaria And Marquez.

FRD1:
MD01: Yafalonia & Bazor 2 -v- The Bostopian Empire
MD02: Ad'ihan -v- The Bostopian Empire
MD03: Kosovoe -v- The Bostopian Empire
MD04: Bostopia -v- The Bostopian Empire - Fort Boston Arena, Fort Boston, Bostopia (87,093)
MD05: The Doobie Brothers -v- The Bostopian Empire
MD06: The Bostopian Empire -v- AruthKandageLand - Workers Stadium, Vladigrad City, Vladmiristak (132,664)
MD07: Alversia -v- The Bostopian Empire
FR02:
MD08: The Bostopian Empire -v- Yafalonia & Bazor 2 - National Field, Adoros City, Adoros (64,745)
MD09: The Bostopian Empire -v- Ad'ihan - Sygon Stadium, Sygon City, Outer Sygon (76,962)
MD10: The Bostopian Empire -v- Kosovoe - The Skinner of Chikoo Stadium, Leprechaun Goldmine, Chikoo (23,633)
MD11: The Bostopian Empire -v- Bostopia - TBA
MD12: The Bostopian Empire -v- The Doobie Brothers - Byrne Field, Poundland, Rental Save (63,000)
MD13: AruthKandageLand -v- The Bostopian Empire
MD14: The Bostopian Empire -v- Alversia - Victory Stadium, FIDA City, FIDA Isle (47,332)

There was nowhere else the Emperor wanted to be at that moment than cuddled up in bed next to the Empress. He nuzzled his head deeper into her shoulder and smiled as the sun punched it's way through the curtain.

He thought of the blue skies that awaited him and the sun that would be shining brightly on his face as he started a new day full of optimism.

But that reminded him of the day Bostopia lost to Dancougar on penalties.

“I HATE DANCOUGAR!” He yelled, jumping up out of bed. He stormed over to the window and drew the curtain, exposing his naked form to a few pigeons and a middle-aged lady on a trip from Sorthern Northland who was admiring the architecture of the building with a pair of binoculars; she promptly fainted.

The Empress turned over to face him and surveyed the scene. Her immortal husband – a side effect of bringing him, her and the Prince back to life was that they were immortal – was standing buck naked in front of a window, and from the voices she'd overheard outside the room, security was currently fishing a foreign lady out of a boating lake.

“Come back to bed,” she said, pulling up a bit of quilt.

“But.. but Dancougar..” the Emperor stuttered back. “They ruined my career.”

“Oh sweetie, you still have me!” She replied, putting on her best “shut up and get back into bed you naked idiot” smile.

“I know.. but.. I wanted to commentate some more.” he said, while the Empress moved across the bed and held his arm, gently guiding him back toward the bed, and away from the window.

“I know,” she said, wrapping her arms around him as he finally lay back down. “But sometimes there's nothing you can do.”

“All those press-statements out of the Dancougar camp must have put the players off..” he sighed, taking hold of one of her arms and pulling it tighter round himself.

“You could always play your favourite trick on a foreign head of state” she said reassuringly.

“Putting an angry animal in a box and sending it to them?”

“Yep!” Came the enthusiastic reply. “Remember the reply we got from Mr. O'Bagels that time?”

“It was all covered in blood and feathers” he said softly, with a smile on his face.

“Yeah.” Her voice quietening as she spoke. “You could always do that again.”

“Maybe later on.” The Emperor yawned, and fell back asleep with a smile on his face. The Empress, meanwhile, was disappointed. She hadn't had to hit him with a frying pan in a week.

---F.A. Headquarters, Hartwick House, Fort Boston---

The F.A. is pleased to announce the fixture list for the Bostopian National Team in the upcoming WC44 qualifiers. The stadia used for home games is also supplied.

FRD1:
MD01: The Doobie Brothers -v- Bostopia
MD02: Bostopia -v- AruthKandageLand - Bostopia Stadium, Fort Boston (103,499)
MD03: Alversia -v- Bostopia
MD04: Bostopia -v- The Bostopian Empire - Fort Boston Arena, Fort Boston (87,093)
MD05: Bostopia -v- Yafalonia & Bazor 2 - Ortega Field, Henrikstad (38,532)
MD06: Ad'ihan -v- Bostopia
MD07: Bostopia -v- Kosovoe - Junker Stadium, Prussingberg (67,390)
FRD2:
MD08: Bostopia -v- The Doobie Brothers - Brian Marne Stadium, Rolida (37,728)
MD09: AruthKandageLand -v- Bostopia
MD10: Bostopia -v- Alversia - State Stadium, Drangmorie (57,821)
MD11: The Bostopian Empire -v- Bostopia - TBA
MD12: Yafalonia & Bazor 2 -v- Bostopia
MD13: Bostopia -v- Ad'ihan - Bostopia Stadium, Fort Boston (103,499)
MD14: Kosovoe -v- Bostopia

"Coach Dastrin," Frederick Dawner said as he entered the office, "I see that you finally have our results for our match-ups. Where are we?"

Sean sighed as he replied, "It could be a lot better, Fred. We are in group 7. We have to play Jeruselem and Starblaydia. Those teams have been in this game a lot longer than we have."

"Yes, they have," Fred said as he took a seat, "but that is not at all a guarantee that they will beat us. Just an advantage."

Sean sat back and laughed a little as he asked, "Are you always this optimistic?"

"Yes, of course," Fred replied smiling back. "How do you think that we managed to get further than you in the tournament last year?"

"Oh!" Sean yelled out as he laughed more, "now that hurts! I still recall you losing to Draistania in the final round."

"We'll get em' this time round!"

"Well, you can worry about that later. Right now I just need you to get all the relevant information on these teams." Coach Dastrin handed the sheet of team names to Frederick Dawner. "see if you can't find a weakness by game day. I'll be doing the same."

"I'll see what I can do coach."

"You do that, and Fred."

"Yes coach?"

"Don't be to hard on them. We don't want to embarrass them too badly on game day. We want them to come back next year."

With that Fred walked away howling in laughter. There was still a chance though. Aside from Jeruselem and Starblaydia, they had just as much chance as anyone else, and it was very possible that one of them would be a little off this year.

Draistania Schedule for Qualifying Round

Match 1 @ Jaseuyeon
Match 2 @ Starblaydia
Match 3 vs. Jeruselem
Match 4 @ Chutnusak
Match 5 vs. Greal
Match 6 @ Urna Eletrônica
Match 7 vs. Idanno
Match 8 vs. Jaseuyeon
Match 9 vs. Starblaydia
Match 10 @ Jeruselem
Match11 vs. Chutnusak
Match 12 @ Greal
Match 13 vs. Urna Eletrônica
Match 14 vs. Idanno

QSPN WORLD CUP 44 Coverage

After a very disappointing World Cup 43, Qazox dropped a bit in the rankings and now face a tough road to return to the World Cup, as they were drawn into Group 6. A group whic includes: Dancougar, Kelssek, Colburne and Rennidan, teams Qazox is very familar with, albeit in the World Bowl, WBC, WCoH and the Olympics.


GROUP 6:
Rennidan
Qazox
St Samuel
Akbarabad
Operata
Kelssek
Dancougar
Colbourne

SCHEDULE:
MD1: @ Rennidan
MD2: @ Akbarabad
MD3: vs. St Samuel @ Henrí Savagé Stadium, New Recife. Capacity: 73,000.
MD4: @ Kelssek
MD5: vs. Operata @ SaxerDome, SaxerVilla. Capacity: 85,000.
MD6: @ Colburne
MD7: vs. Dancougar @ Qazian Memorial Stadium, Qazox City. Capacity: 98,000
MD8: vs. Rennidan @ SaxerDome, SaxerVilla. Capacity: 85,000.
MD9: vs. Akbarabad @ Henrí Savagé Stadium, New Recife. Capacity: 73,000.
MD10: @ St Samuel
MD11: vs. Kelssek @ Champions Field, Qazox City. Capacity: 84,420
MD12: @ Operata
MD13: vs. Colburne @ Henrí Savagé Stadium, New Recife. Capacity: 73,000.
MD14: @ Dancougar

A full group and overall qualifying preview will be coming tommorrow. But at first glance, Qazox' history of winning on the road will play a very large part, as this group will be decided by a few points.

The Zito Zip
WC44 time is here.
Wombats try once again.
Group 5 has Tynelia, remember them?
Also has Lovisa and Secristan.
Do we have a chance? Yes.
Will we do it? Maybe.
What about WC45? NO.
WHAT?
Last Chance for Romance.
WHY?
The Economy...stupid.
No $$= No team.

Schedule:
MD1: Secristan
MD2: Terreiro de Ogum
MD3: @ Euro Federations
MD4: Tynelia
MD5: @ Rymeria
MD6: Peisandros
MD7: @ Lovisa
MD8: @ Secristan
MD9: @ Terreiro de Ogum
MD10: Euro Federations
MD11: @ Tynelia
MD12: Rymeria
MD13: Peisandros
MD14: Lovisa

World Cup 44 Qualification - Group 2
MD1: vs [42] West Zirconia (@ Munhwa Football Stadium - 65,000, Hanseong)
MD2: @ [???] Sarzonia (@ somewhere in Sarzonia?)
MD3: vs [76] Dariusville (@ Potala Palace - 34,000, Lasa)
MD4: @ [54] Liventia (@ someplace in Liventia)
MD5: vs [1] Valanora (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium - 200,000, Hangyeong)
MD6: @ [34] Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colosseum - 599,000, Atlantea?)
MD7: vs [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium - 80,000, Gwangju)
MQ: ---
MD8: @ [42] West Zirconia (@ Manchester Street, Moorcroft
MD2: vs [???] Sarzonia (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium - 50,000, Daebo)
MD3: @ [76] Dariusville (@ a monkey cage in Dariusville)
MD4: vs [54] Liventia (@ Silk Road Stadium - 56,000, Seoan)
MD5: @ [1] Valanora (@ depends on how well we play them at home...)
MD6: vs [34] Taeshan (@ Tae-majt Park - 69,000 - Pyeongyang)
MD7: @ [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ hopefully not in a beer bottle)



MBC World Cup Special Report
http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t156/daehanjeiguk/news.png

HANGYEONG - On account of a really bad solar storm, the entire Empire woke up to woeful surprise as the Han were placed into a group that includes the likes of West Zirconia, Liventia, Taeshan, and Valanora. Yes, they're all in our group, and we don't like it either. However, as the 11th ranked in the group, we're seeded for that coveted second spot, since most of our bookies are calling this one for Valanora. Yes, they've become one of those teams that just keeps winning. They're reached the semifinals of the World Cup of the past 6 editions, winning it 3 times, and reaching third place in all of their other appearances. So just what does it take to beat them? I haven't a clue, but if you want to ask anyone, don't ask your grandmother. She'll advise you to stop worrying about football, do your homework, and makes lots of money to make her children (i.e. your children) happy. And only Heaven wonders at this point if it really matters, since the nearest competition according to ranks will be coming for 34th ranked Taeshan. They'll be playing with 42nd ranked West Zirconia, followed closely by 54th ranked Liventia. And two teams that didn't participate in the recent BoF certainly will have their Baptism of Fire once they're through this group - one can only imagine if any of them would have as much success as the recently departed Catholic Church of MSS - but rest assured, they've not disappeared; some bishop in Gwangju told me that the Catholic Church was "reconsidering the spiritual ramifications of football and religion".

Anyway, our first match up will be against West Zirconia, a competent and talented side who beat the same Catholic folk in their own BoF tourney final, so two BoF champs facing on the field of pitch (or pitch of field... agh, English, I hate it!). Regardless, the IFA has slotted a home opener at Munhwa field in Hanseong. Citizens traveling to Joseon are advised to travel early and by sea, since the airways will be likely packed with WZ supporters visiting the lands of Han for potentially their first time. And be nice to them - if they need help, don't make it cost an arm and a leg (and to WZ supporters reading this report, I mean that literally).

After exiting the last cup in Valanora on account of penalties (kicks, not punishments, although the goalkeeper might make that assertion), the IFA has decided to stay on with Ioshido Toki and his management, noting that although "success has not been as expected, Ioshido has been making progressive progress to win the Cup and has - since WC43 - reached the Second Round consistently". I don't know about you, but in other countries, they'll sack the poor fellow if he loses the next match, and I'm being generous. I insist - we'll be looking for a new coach at the World Cup if Ioshido can't make it to the Semifinals this time around.


=== === ===

"Name and Identification."

"Pak Seongil." He gave his identification number.

"It says you're a resident of Daejeon," the agent said. "What's your business in Ulsan, Mr. Pak?"

Pak pulled out a football from a bag and showed it to the agent at the booth. The agent smiled. "You must be one of those amateurs coming to town today. The Joseon Amateur's League, eh?"

"We're not amateurs," Pak asserted. "We're professionals without a club."

"Yeah, well explain it to the magistrate. That's the third time this week I've caught you hooligans disturbing the public order. You're only too lucky that you're not drunk as hell. The last guy," the agent explained, bending on his knees to face Pak directly. "I had to haul his ass to the public detention center because he was puking his dinner at some fancy gala. You know how the corporate officials are like - they want some nice seaside resort town, they come here, and they meet some dumbass who can't add 1 and 1 for his own life. Why shouldn't I take you into the center right now?"

"Because I have a game tomorrow evening."

The agent sighed. He turned to his little pad card, with the citizen details. "It says that you have Level 6 Education in Electrical work. Is this true?"

Pak nodded. The agent smiled. "Can you do something for me then?"

"What?"

The agent stood up and went to his car, turning on the lights. Immediately, Pak could see the problem. "One of the flood lamps isn't on."

"I think there's a bad circuit, because the bulb is just fine. If you fix that, I'll let you pass with just a warning." Pak smirked at the thought of that. He turned to the car and took a look into the fuse box. He pulled out a fuse, and turned to the officer. "That's your problem. Broken fuse. Give me five minutes and I'll get you a new one." He turned to the nearest car station. It was only a block down the road, but Pak could manage the trip. After all, he had only drunk one beer that night... and about 4 shots of soju. Nevermind that, he was going to fix the flood light. He came into the store, which was in the midst of being robbed.

"Hey, you! Put your hands up!" The gunman turned his rifle on Pak. Pak ughed. "Come on, I need to get a fuse for that car outside."

"Hands up, dumb-ass! I'll kill you!"

As the gunman was being distracted, the clerk behind the counter pulled out a giant cricket bat and whacked the gunman on the hand. Immediately, he fell to the floor, scattering the gun on the floor to Pak's feet. The clerk came out from behind the booth, gazing at the gunman on the floor knocked unconscious. He turned to Pak with gratitude. "If you hadn't come in at that moment, he would have robbed my store! Thank you! I'll give you anything!"

"Well, all I really need right now is a fuse for a car..."

The man immediately shot to the counter and pulled a fuse out. "Not that kind. A blue, class 5."

"Ah," the clerk said as he reached for the proper fuse. He handed it to Pak, who simply smiled. Perhaps he should have asked for a drink too. He came back out, as the elderly clerk did his best to restrain the gunman and his gun. The police looked at his watch as Pak came nearer. "That was longer than five minutes."

"Yeah, there was a line at the shop," he said, heading immediately to the fuse box. A few simple clicks later, he flicked on the lights, and the police agent was elated. "It's amazing how something so simple can cause so big a problem."

"Well, I'm surprised that they use just one fuse for each of those flood lights. It's pretty wasteful, I'd imagine. But I don't make cars. In fact, I rarely work with cars in the first place."

"Well, you've earned my respect, Mr. Pak. Just remember, keep your anger under control. Sometimes alcohol does that to people, so just be cautious about that."

"Yes, sir. Thank you very much, and you have a wonderful evening."

The agent smiled as he headed away. "I hope so too." As the police car strolled away, Pak smiled in admiration as he listened the radio call for a dispatch to a local car service station for an attempted armed robbery. Pak, carrying his ball in hand, walked down the street, past the bar out of which he was recently ejected for causing a ruckus with the locals. More specifically, the Ulsan Great Pearls Football Club - the local football club of pearl fishers. It was a rough encounter between the two, and of course the local bars were more supportive of their own city kin than they were of the "foreign" team. Hence, he bashes some pretty chap on the nose, and he gets blamed for "hooliganism" at large. Not that it mattered now. He was out and getting back to the hotel, where the rest of the team was staying.

Pak himself was the captain of the Daejeon Great Lightning Football Club, the semi-official team of electricians working at the Samsung SDS Center. It was a recent experiment, since most of his comrades were in fact great players, but not great enough to get on a professional team. So like millions of people passionate about the sport, he turned to an amateur league, with people in his profession - an electrician. Truth be told, he hated the job, but it was the only useful skill that he had to offer in contribution to society. He'd rather be out on the pitch all day with his friends, playing for the thrill of the game, but he simply wasn't that good. He had tried a number of alternative jobs, but he couldn't shake off his talent for handling electrical circuits. And since all amateur teams lacked official coaches, he acted as the official team captain and coach. It was a tough challenge to manage the team and play on the pitch, along with the other responsibilities entitled to him by his co-workers, but fortunately, they got along very well.

Bae Choelgwan met at the door of the room. "The police were nice..."

"The guy wanted me to fix his light," he replied with a slightl smirk.

Bae Choelgwan was his one of his assistant coaches. When Pak was unavailable, Bae would take the spot as the head of the team. And when Bae wasn't around, there was Yang Cheonhan. After him was Kim Shinyok. After him... well, they were kinda screwed up if it got to that. But Bae was a reliable person, and someone who didn't mind sitting out the whole match if it meant winning a game.

"Tomorrow is going to be a big game, you hear?"

"I know," Pak said. He sat down at the chair, across from the bed where Yang was already apparently asleep. "We should try to get some rest," he remarked, pointing at Yang. He thought a little longer and added as an addendum, "and I think it's in order that we should also avoid the local bars."

"I'd agree," Bae replied, knocking on the door to the bathroom. "Kim! What are you doing in there? Taking a shit? Living in a sauna? Other people have to go too!"

A squeal came from inside. "I'm busy!"

Bae shook his head, returning to the beds. "He's been saying that for the past hour!"

"Hour?" Pak said.

"That little pipsqueak... he's probably in there with a magazine right now!"

"Magazine?"

Yang spoke while keeping his eyes closed. "You know how he takes breaks all of the time at work? He spreads it all masturbating in the bathroom. It's a wonder he manages to keeps his pants all dry."

"Right now?" Pak laughed.

"You know he would," Bae said. "He needs to find a girl instead of hogging this %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ BATHROOM!" He yelled that very part rather excessively that the people below knocked on the floor, with an even louder shout, imploring them to shut up and go to sleep. Bae ruffled his hair.

"Why don't you go next door to Kim's (Yongsan) room?" Yang suggested, still eyes shut.

"I think I will," Bae said, rushing out of the door. Pak smiled, somewhat amused by the flurry of activity over a single bathroom. He turned to Yang. "Speaking of Kim (Yongsan), have you talked to the others?"

"Yep. I've talked."

"Good." Pak brushed his hair and reclined on the bed. "Tomorrow is going to be a big day."

"First fixture outside of Daejeon in over a year now?"

"Yeah," Pak said, laying on the bed now.

"Yeah... a big day." After a few minutes, just as Pak began to feel drowsy himself, he could hear Yang's distinctive snoring. A big day...

Pruxton Globe

After stunning the world by qualifying for World Cup 42, what did our zombies do for an encore? Qualify for World Cup 43. But both trips were very short lived, as the team didn't advance past the first round either time. But now Prux won't sneak up on anyone, qualifying for back-to-back Cups kinda raises the profile, don't it? Now instead of being a hunter, the Zombies are among the hunted.

The Qualifying Draw took place yesterday and the Zombies were placed in Group 10. The toughest competition in the group seems to be Yafor 2 and Cafundéu, bith multiple-time qualifiers. The Zombies are, on paper at least, the 3rd best team in the group and will have to stave off challenges from Myedvedeya and The Blouman Empire, who are just about equally matched with Prux.

All home games this qualifying cycle will take place in Pruxton at the new International Prux Football Center, which has a capacity of 73,542.

The schedule is this: (along with our Predictions for the Zombies)
Game 1: @ Yafor 2 (Loss 1-3)
Game 2: vs. Cafundeu (Loss 2-3)
Game 3: vs. Bears Armed (Win 4-1)
Game 4: vs. Iseerussiafrommyhouse (Win 3-0)
Game 5: @ Brightonburg (Win 3-1)
Game 6: vs. The Blouman Empire (Draw 2-2)
Game 7: @ Myedvedeya (Draw 1-1)
Game 8: vs. Yafor 2 (Draw 1-1)
Game 9: @ Cafundeu (Loss 1-4)
Game 10: @ Bears Armed (Win 2-1)
Game 11: @ Iseerussiafrommyhouse (Win 4-2)
Game 12: vs. Brightonburg (Win 4-1)
Game 13: @ The Blouman Empire (Loss 1-2)
Game 14: vs. Myedvedeya (Win 2-1)
PREDICTED RECORD: 7-3-4 24pts 3rd in Group.

THE ROCKET REPORT

GROUP DRAW ANNOUNCED

Pocono City, Newmanistan- Stop me if you’ve heard this one. The official group draw for World Cup 44 qualification was held this evening and it looks very familiar to what we saw the last time. Ten groups, top three qualify and Newmanistan is the 4th ranked team overall in the group. Such was the story in World Cup 43. And World Cup 42 qualification efforts. In those last two Cups, it came down to the very last matchday for the Empire, only to find the teams that had the better rankings take care of business and for Newmanistan to be knocked out at the very end and be sent to the Cup of Harmony. So if the group draw makes you start singing the song, “Same ol’ Situation”, it would be understood. What Newmanistan has to do is crack the top three. Starblaydia and Dancougar are the likely locks, and they’ll have to find a way by Lovisa, more then likely. No wait, that was last time. This time, Az-cz and Jasi-yun are the locks and they have to find a way by Sorthern Northland. No, that was the time before that. Alright, enough kidding around. The locks are Milchama and the Holy Empire. The team we have to get by is Septentrionia. Doable? Most definitely. So was Lovisa and Sorthern Northland. Then of course, there’s no time for missed opportunities against the other teams. Newmanistan had one big draw against the Bostopian Empire in the last qualification, and missed out by qualifying by two points.

Alright, so let’s take a deeper look at this group, and the first nation that immediately strikes out at you is Milchama. Oh, do we remember those Warriors. We met them twice in our Baptism of Fire year and got beaten by the combined score of 13-4. But we’re better now, and we should be able to make it closer. That’s what we thought when we scheduled a pre-qualifying friendly against them prior to World Cup 43 and they beat us up again, winning 6-2. There was also that Oxen Cup 6 final meeting between the countries that was much closer, but still the same end result. Milchama wins. That by the score of 2-1. The Warriors are one of the top contenders to win the World Cup,assuming someone can knock Valanora from their throne. Like a certain baseball team, though, Milchama underachieves when it gets to the World Cup, having never won. Perhaps, the Rockets can use those past scores as motivation, but the reality is that any kind of points against the Warriors have to be considered as “stolen” points. Still, you have to go into these games thinking you can win, and with Newmanistan’s horrid history against the top seeds against the group (we have still never earned a single point against the top ranked team in our qualifying group, ever), you have to think that we are due, right? One can hope.

A highlight of qualifying will be our first ever visit to the Dreamed Realm. That’s right, the Holy Empire is on the schedule as well. This is rarely a vacation for the opponent as this underachieving nation often fields some very interesting rosters. Who could forget their team of man-eating blancmanges? We don’t know exactly what kind of roster they will be fielding, but rumors are that it’s not going to be pretty, having only been told it will be our worst nightmare. Uh oh, worse then the blancmanges huh? Certainly the intimidation factor will be working for them during the match against not just us, but for our opponents as well. This is an experienced entity as they’ve actually been doing this from the beginning. It is the only country that participated in the very first World Cup that is still active. In all that time, they have won a total of, no wait, they have never won the World Cup. Guess that’s their worst nightmare. Of course when they come here, they’ll play at Tundra Falls. Will spirits collide?

Septentrionia is the year’s Lovisa. It is the team that we will have to pass in order to qualify for the World Cup. They are the third ranked team in the group, and the most probable one for us to overtake. There’s really no reason to think that we couldn’t. While we respect what they have achieved, they moved up the rankings quickly due to the fact they were able to co-host World Cup 42. There has only been one international meeting between the two, and it was quite an entertaining affair coming in Cup of Harmony 32. Both nations were new to the international scene then, and they played to 4-4 draw. It was this club that kept the Rockets from advancing to the knockouts in that particular Cup of Harmony which just seems like so long ago now. The nations actually have a much better history with one another in the World Cup of Hockey. The Pistachio lovers have yet to release a roster, but that is probably going to change. We are cautiously optimistic that we can overcome them, but then again, we were that we could do it against Lovisa, too.

Now for the teams ranked lower then us, and you can’t overlook these opponents. Nethertopia, a nation in which Newmanistan has built somewhat of a history with in the international transfer market (though that has slowed down recently) looms as the biggest threat to take points away from of us of those ranked below. We have met them twice, once in a friendly, and once in Oxen Cup 8 and came away with victories in each encounter. But the World Cup in their home region, expect Nethertopia to be heavily inspired for success. After returning to the international scene for World Cup 43, they have shown promise, and actually claimed our “Di Bradini Cup runner-up” spot that we had reserved in the previous two cups, this year. Also in our group is Miroxia. Known more for their Handball prowess, the football program of the country has improved recently as evidenced by their taking the Rockets to extra time in Oxen Cup 9, a match that Newmanistan did win by the score of 1-nil. The Rockets have won all three meetings against them, and have actually never allowed a goal against them. The combined score of the three meetings is an astounding 9-nil in our favor. Maybe we are their Milchama. Nonetheless, having recently played us close, the Mountain Goats should be coming in with confidence and we will need to be prepared for that. The nation of Quintessence of Dust, we are told, isn’t a debutant nation (OOC: correct me if I’m wrong), but actually a country making their return to international play after a long layoff. We wish them good luck, when they play Septentrionia, that is. Newmanistan cannot afford to lose points in those two games, and recently the Empire has done a better job in taking care of business against opponents like this. Finally, we have Alex Ruined Hallelujah. This is a country making their first ever appearance, and we don’t really know much about them besides their interesting name. As long as we get six points against them, we don’t need to know anything about them.

This has got to be our time, right? Despite being in a similar situation as we have been in before going into qualification, it seems a little better for us. Let’s just hope we break away from this ball and chain that has kept us from the World Cup Proper so far.

The Official Schedule reads as such:
Pre-Qual Friendly: vs Dancougar @ Tundra Falls Proving Grounds
Pre-Qual Friendly: at West Zirconia (Redwood)
MD1: @ Septentrionia (the big one right off the bat, ‘eh?)
MD2: vs Quintessence of Dust @ Olympia Field
MD3: @ The Holy Empire
MD4: vs Alex Ruined Hallelujah @ Putnam Lake Stadium
MD5: vs Nethertopia @ Dover Field
MD6: @ Milchama
MD7: vs Miroxia @ Centralia Stadium
MD8: vs Septentrionia @ Loudon Stadium
MD9: @ Quintessence of Dust
MD10: vs The Holy Empire @ Tundra Falls Proving Grounds
MD11: @ Alex Ruined Hallelujah
MD12: @ Nethertopia
MD13: vs Milchama @ Pocono City Stadium
MD14: @ Miroxia
Post-Qual Friendly: at Nethertopia
Post-Qual Friendly: vs BrightonBurg @ Loudon Stadium

EAST POCONO TELEGRAPH

East Pocono in the World Cup? The nation has decided to give it a shot, and the roster was just released. Even though the country will likely get beaten up in most of its games, there’s something to be said about at least trying to do something at this level? Or perhaps they were just helping making up a number. Anyway, here is the official East Pocono schedule. How bad will it be? Well, we will soon find out. Predicted results in ( )

MD1: vs Lecland (D, 2-2)
MD2: vs Docky (W, 1-0)
MD3: @ Krytenia (L, 3-0)
MD4: @ The Archregimancy (L, 5-1)
MD5: vs Vephrall (L, 2-0)
MD6: @ Universitus University (L, 2-1)
MD7: @ Quakmybush (L, 3-1)
MD8: @ Lecland (L, 2-1)
MD9: @ Docky (D, 0-0)
MD10: vs Krytenia (L, 4-1)
MD11: vs The Archregimancy (L, 3-0)
MD12: @ Vephrall (L, 6-1)
MD13: vs Universitus University (W, 1-0)
MD14: vs Quakmybush (L, 2-0)

Projected Record: 2-2-10

Mary: Hello, I'm Mary Sallad for Naked News Jeruselem! I'm with Jeruselem coach, the Qazian ... Ryan Greenly!
Ryan: Oh hi everyone.
Mary: First thing Ryan, what's it like working with so many women?
Ryan: What do you mean?

Mary: I mean the Assistant Coach is female, the team Captain and Vice Captain are female. The assistant coach's daughter is playing as well as two Sallad and two Dallas girls.
Ryan: It's nothing special. Yes, the team is full of sexy women but when it comes to playing football, it's not a real factor.
Mary: Do you feel lucky?
Ryan: A lot of guys might be jealous but for me, it's just part of my job.

Mary: Has the recent terrorist attack on you by AMANDA in Jeruselem affected you?
Ryan: Not really, at home we've been having bigger issues with that AMANDA mob. The local Jeruselemites responded quickly enough. It's terrorism ... anything can happen.
Mary: Are you going to ask for a medal to give to young Oksana Ferris?
Ryan: I asked Marie if she can help. She's supportive of giving something to Oksana.

Mary: Now, the team seems a lot younger this cup.
Ryan: Yes, a lot of young faces like Oksana Ferris. A lot of family in this team too. Like Ferrises, Dallases, Sallads ... like you, Sloans.
Mary: I see Marie is vice captain. She was a potential candidate to be a new team Captain.
Ryan: Honestly, if you swapped your Kate and Marie around ... most people wouldn't see a real difference.

Mary: The team is different in balance with more women. Most of the defense is female, with a half-half balance in midfield while most of the strikers are male.
Ryan: I think it's right. We need a strong manly attack, while the plucky female defense can handle most comers.
Mary: What's you attitude to nudity.
Ryan: I'm a Qazian, does not bother me at all.

Mary: Now, Group 7. What do think our chances are?
Ryan: Apart from what Marie calls the Purple Menace, we should be OK but teams like Jaseuyeon and Greal are still threats.
Mary: Group 6, Qazox have an interesting group.
Ryan: Yes, we have Rennidan and Dancougar there was well as Kelssek. It's not the easiest group really.

Mary: Jeru FC in Group 4 have very interesting task.
Ryan: My old team, Southern Northland and the SLANI are the big teams here. We'll see what Merginn and his co-drunks have for Jeru FC I guess.
Mary: I heard we are going get new uniforms.
Ryan: Well yes, but the company from Southern Northland haven't delivered as yet. Maybe too much drinking is going on there.

Mary: Good luck Ryan with the team.
Ryan: Thanks Mary. Say, say how come you're never clothed with we have an interview.
Mary: It's Naked News! And the boss said, dress like a Qazian.
Ryan: Makes sense

ADVANCEMENT POSSIBLE?

The fine folks organizing the World Cup released the official group draw for the 44th World Cup and Secristan has been placed in group number five. The draw was disappointing for the Secristan Department of Sports because none of these opponents look as though they will generate the kind of interest the our encounters with Jeruselem had four years ago. Therefore, the SDOS has decided to take the approach of trying to sell the fact that the Millionaires could actually advance out of the group to the fans, hoping that this will create more interest. Qualifying will coincide with the 3rd World Lacrosse Championships, and when you put soccer up against lacrosse in Secristan, the winner is going to be the lacrosse even though the World Cup is far more prestigious. With the finals actually in Secristan of the World Lacrosse Championships, convincing people to watch a road game against Euro Federations is a very tough sell. Also competing with qualifying for the hard earned rusas of our people are the 3rd International Basketball Championships. Basketball is about level with soccer in the country but because Secristan has had success on the hardwood, winning the first ever tournament, fans may lean toward those games. There is one hope. Convince the fans that a run like we had in the Di Bradini Cup can and will happen again to get us to the World Cup in just our second attempt.

Is it actually possible? The top seed in the group is Tynelia. They are good but also probably one of the most boring top seeds in qualifying. This is why the SDOS was a little disappointed with this particular draw. At least with Jeruselem you could hope that Kate Sallad would remove her top, or a Dancougar where there has been some history in other sports. The prestige of Valanora or the monks of The Archregimancy would have been fantastic. Instead, we get Tynelia. After Tynelia, we get Lovisa, another boring team. Lovisa will usually just rely on their ranking to get by and they usually do. That’s all fine, but it’s no fun and it makes that not really be a matchup that’s going to get Secristanis that excited. Terreiro de Ogum looks like a pretty interesting team with potential but no one has really heard of them in our country. They are somewhere near Cafundeu. We’d rather play Cafundeu. After them we get what is probably our most well known opponent in this group, that being Green Wombat. The Wombats did eliminate us in the preliminary round before they pulled off their upset of another One Big Island nation of this past Cup of Harmony. We also met in the World Baseball Classic. Fair enough, but we need more then that. We also have Peisandros, Euro Federations, and Rymeria in our group. The last two we know nothing about. Peisandros lost in the Baptism of Fire final, something we can relate too. In order to qualify, Secristan would need to finish in the top three. Third place could be wide open between three teams here: Terreiro de Ogum, Green Wombat, and ourselves. So it’s not really as far fetched as it might seem that we could advance to the World Cup.

This schedule shows our opponent, the price for the pay-per-view telecast, and when home, the minimum bid per seat. The SDOS was rather aggravated about having so many road games to start off with as if the team is off to a poor start, it will greatly affect the average bid price for the second half home-loaded schedule. Also home games later would conflict with the final stages of the World Lacrosse Championships as fans decide which they would rather go to. So yes there was a lot of grumbling in their offices about it.

G1: at Green Wombat Pay-per-view: 119R
G2: at Euro Federations Pay-per-view: 39R
G3: at Terreiro de Ogum Pay-per-view: 79R
G4: at Rymeria Pay-per-view: 49R
G5: at Tynelia Pay-per-view: 99R
G6: aka let’s give #8 a home game now: vs Lovisa Pay-per-view: 109R Minimum Bid: 50R
G7: at Peisandros Pay-per-view: 69R
G8: vs Green Wombat Pay-per-view: 99R Minimum Bid: 30R
G9: vs Euro Federations Pay-per-view: 29R Minimum Bid: 2R
G10: vs Terreiro de Ogum Pay-per-view: 69R Minimum Bid: 20R
G11: vs Rymeria Pay-per-view: 39R Minimum Bid: 2R
G12: vs Tynelia Pay-per-view: 99R Minimum Bid: 50R
G13: at Lovisa Pay-per-view: 119R
G14: vs Peisandros Pay-per-view: 59R Minimum Bid: 10R

THE LITANY OF FERVENT SUPPLICATION

Priest: Have mercy upon us, O God, according to Thy great goodness, we pray, Thee, hearken and have mercy.

Choir: Lord, have mercy; Lord, have mercy; Lord, have mercy.

Priest: Again we pray for pious and Orthodox Christians; for our Most Reverend Metropolitan Mark; for Priests, Deacons, Monks and Nuns, and for all our brethren in Christ.

Choir: Lord, have mercy; Lord, have mercy; Lord, have mercy.

Priest: Again we pray for mercy, life, peace health, salvation, and visitation for the servants of God, the Arctic Fathers of the Archregimancy, for the pardon and remission of their sins, and for victory on the field of play.

Choir: Lord, have mercy; Lord, have mercy; Lord, have mercy.

Priest: Again we pray for the blessed and ever-memorable founders of this holy temple; and for all our fathers and brethren, the Orthodox Christians departed this life before us, who here and in all the world lie asleep in the Lord; and for the Orthodox servants of God departed this life, and for the pardon and remission of their sins.

Choir: Memory eternal; memory eternal; memory eternal.

Priest: Again we pray for those who bear fruit and do good works in this holy and all-venerable temple; for those who serve and those who sing; and for all the people here present, who await Thy great and rich mercy.

Choir: Lord, have mercy; Lord, have mercy; Lord, have mercy.

Priest: For Thou art a merciful God and lovest mankind, and to Thee we ascribe glory: to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit: now and ever, and unto ages of ages. For this reason we ask you to grant us victory - or at the very least World Cup qualification - over the heathens and heterodox of Docky, Krytenia, East Pocono (or West Pocono, whatever the case may be), Lecland, Universitus University (sometimes known as 'Jey'), Quakmybush, and most of all Vephrall - for they have become mighty in Thy sight for reasons that remain unclear to us - that we may experience Thy loving kindness and mercy.

Choir: Amen.

Priest: Wisdom.

Reader: Father, bless.

Priest: Christ our God the Existing One is Blessed, always now and ever and unto ages of ages.

Reader: Amen. Preserve, O God, the Holy Orthodox Faith and all Orthodox Christians, particularly our football team, unto ages of ages.

Priest: Most Holy Theotokos, save us.

Reader: More honorable than the Cherubim and more glorious beyond compare than the Seraphim, thou who without stain barest God the Word and art truly Theotokos, we magnify thee.

Priest: Glory to Thee, O Christ our God and our Sure Hope, Glory to Thee.

Reader: Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, both now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.

Lord, have mercy; Lord, have mercy; Lord, have mercy.

Father, bless.

Priest: Go forth! Prepare the pitch for the first qualifier, so that it may be pleasing in the Lord's sight. 20 cm of snow should be enough to give us the advantage!

Courtney’s Space

Time just flies by so quickly. I cannot believe that four years have passed since the last World Cup. It seems like it was only a couple months ago, that’s how vivid those great memories are. In those four years, Cassadaigua has become more of a well known nation on the international scene, but we still have a long way to go. We have tried gridiron, and that did not go very well at all. We tried baseball, but only lasted two games. We will be trying lacrosse at the same time that the qualifying for the World Cup takes place. Maybe that will go a little better. I guess we are considering basketball but the government feels it might be too much for us to handle at one time. Our greatest accomplishment in those four years could be several things. I think we did a good job in our last attempt to qualify for the World Cup even though we went south at the end. We did an excellent job against this year’s co-host, Candelaria And Marquez. In the Di Bradini Cup, we had pretty good run and we did in the Cup of Harmony too. It is enough to make outsiders look at us as an ambitious nation, but one that doesn’t really have a true signature moment to speak of. Being a semifinalist in the Baptism of Fire is our claim to fame right now.

People have asked me if the World Cup being hosted by Candelaria And Marquez provides extra inspiration to me since we have gotten Tenderville United promoted into their premier league. It is exciting to think about, but it isn’t really something that I would say is giving me additional motivation. I am still highly motivated anyway as even though the odds are against it, I want to get Cassadaigua into the World Cup Proper. We have a bright future like you saw in the Di Bradini Cup, but I have to be selfish and say that I want to be in the World Cup. I want it very badly. I love Candelaria And Marquez, and I am proud to make it my home away from home. But unless we qualify for the World Cup, it doesn’t really matter where the World Cup is. I would love to represent Cassadaigua there and I will do everything I possibly can to get us there. We are an underdog, but we are a dog with fight, not one that’s going to roll over.

We have ended up in Group 4, with Capitalizt SLANI the strongest team in the group according to the latest KPB rankings. They are a former champion, and a country that as a young girl while I was watching the World Cup growing up that I really admired. It’s going to be exciting to go up against them, and pull of some kind of surprise. Sorthern Northland and Jeru FC are two nations with very similar rankings, and may end up fighting for the second spot. We got a taste of Sorthern Northland in the Di Bradini Cup, and we will try to use what we learned there to our benefit. Jeru FC is not a country, actually. It is a military team associated with Jeruselem. Jeruselem will be an opponent in a friendly, something that all of us are looking forward too. The women that play for Jeruselem are role models for all of us in Cassadaigua as proof that women can have success in the World Cup. Not to mention, they have fun doing it, which is just as important. Kenavt is ranked ahead of us well, then it is us as the 5th best team in the group. The opponents that we will be favored against are Googlewoop, Deep South Sopia, and Oiseaui.

We are excited! Let’s go Dagans!

This is our game by game schedule:
Pre-qualifying Friendly- at Jeruselem
Matchday 1- vs Deep South Sopia
Matchday 2- vs Jeru FC
Matchday 3- At Googlewoop
Matchday 4- At Sorthern Northland
Matchday 5- vs Oiseaui
Matchday 6- At kenavt
Matchday 7- vs Capitalizt SLANI
Mid-qualifying Friendly- vs Arroza
Matchday 8- At Deep South Sopia
Matchday 9- At Jeru FC
Matchday 10- vs Googlewoop
Matchday 11- vs Sorthern Northland
Matchday 12- At Oiseaui
Matchday 13- vs Kenavt
Matchday 14- At Capitalizt SLANI
Post Qualifying Friendly- at Secristan

STS Sports News

St Samuel have finally made there return to the World Cup Qualifiers after an absense of 7 years due to the internal conflicts within it's borders. The Latin Crusaders have been drawn into Group 6 along with Rennidan, Qazox, Akbarabad, Operata, Kelssek, Dancougar and Colbourne. Manager Georgi Monte-Cristiano and his assistant Ariddian, Yves al Jahdali, will be hoping to make an impact on the sport that the people of St Samuel have missed so much during the troubled times.

The St Samuel Football Association have said that whilst they expect the team to make a brave fight in the qualification section, they are not expecting any miracles. With the likes of Qazox, Rennidan and Dancougar, St Samuel have little, if any chance of reaching the latter stages. Monte-Cristiano told reporters in a pres conference earlier:

"It's great for Samuelonian football that we have returned, the nation needs this. We are a footballing nation that has been without our football. We have a nigh impossible task ahead of us, but we will not bow down easily. Our squad has aged and we have had little in the way of youth coming through the ranks, but I know the squad I have will battle hard. The aim of World Cup 44 will be to build for the future and I am sure with the players that we have we can qualify in the years to come.

Dancougar News!!
Eighty three model kits with more on the way. I'm a tad obsessed.

Bilbao retains classic perspective: You might forgive the Dancougar national team if they approached World Cup 44 qualifying with a more laid-back approach, with their shiny new No. 3 ranking coming after a deep run into World Cup 43 that saw them finish third. But coach Solomon Bilbao has his team hard at work knowing that it's going to take even more effort to duplicate the feat.

"When you're ranked in the top ten, top five of the world, that just means there are more teams gunning for you," said Bilbao, whose team has publicly drawn the ire of Emperor Boston after dispatching the Bostopians in penalties in the last tournament. "You have to remember how many teams above us we had to get past to reach the semifinals. Now we're on the other side."

Teams should no longer be surprised by the Black Wings, who even before the last tournament were not a stranger to upset victories. Videos of Dancougar games have surely made their way to all corners of the multiverse, putting the team's traditional strategies on display. This year is no different, as the team will bring a seasoned crop of midfielders to ensure that the number of attacking options is nevertheless healthy.

"If you look at the rankings, you'd think, 'Oh, sure, we can hang with anyone,'" said defender Casey Berber. "But we're not the team that finished third at the World Cup. We've got new players coming in. The lineup is different. A lot of time has passed for us and for everyone else, and we won't know where we really stand until we get out on the field."

"We'll be confident that we've got that same punch," said Dan Potts, who shrugged aside criticism that he'd never develop in the D-League by becoming a mainstay on the front line. "But we have to make sure we don't get too confident and lose that drive. It takes ninety minutes to win a game, but only a few seconds to lose one."

With the World Cup draw completed, the Wings know exactly what they need to do in order to advance to their fifth straight tournament. Bilbao says that the team's preparation will remain the same, with a pre-tournament friendly against Newmanistan to get the blood flowing before qualification proper begins. He wants to avoid a repeat of the previous qualification tournament, where Dancougar needed to go on a manic six-game winning streak after a few bad results threatened to doom the campaign.

"A little stress is good because it drives the team to perform at a high level," said Bilbao. "But we want to stay in control and set the right pace for the tournament."

World Bowl rivals headline qualifying group: Qazox, Rennidan, and Dancougar would be a dream group for any American football fan, and now followers of the beautiful game are about to get a hearty taste of the trio.

The Wings have seen most of this group in one way or another. They've tackled each of their primary challengers for qualification - Qazox, Rennidan, and Kelssek - at least once in the past, while Operata and Akbarabad are two first-time nations which will return to Dancougar after competing in Baptism of Fire 31. Bilbao is expected to guide his team to first or second in the group.

"You're always tempted to just look at the top three in any group, and we've got a good bunch here," said Bilbao. "The Phoenix have a deep World Cup run under their belt, and Rennidan, I think, are quietly gaining ground and just need that breakthrough. But you can never discount the rest of the group, since they can make a big difference in a close race. You have to remember that we lost to Glaycia and Myedvedeya in last time out, and there's no reason it can't happen again." Indeed, with Kelssek not far behind Rennidan in the world rankings, they must be considered a serious contender.

Dancougar and Qazox figure to produce the marquee matchups of the group stage, and the Phoenix will hope to have the upper hand with their no-holds-barred offensive prowess. They play on the final matchday and could decide the group in that one, making it a potential classic. Here's a quick rundown of qualifying group six and where we think the Wings fit in.

Team: Rennidan
World Rank: 27
Schedule: home MD6, away MD13
Predictions: 2-2, 1-2
History: 1-0-0, 3 GF, 1 GA
Key Matchup: Drunn Daleks v. Yuji Watanabe - the Eagle forward will test the 'keeper's reflexes with a wide variety of exotic shots, which could serve as a litmus test for his continued viability as the starter at age 32.

Team: Qazox
World Rank: 18
Schedule: away MD7, home MD14
Predictions: 1-3, 3-2
History: 1-0-1, 4 GF, 3 GA
Key Matchup: Raul de Olivares v. Brad Leeds - These two will be familiar with each other from their D-League tussles, and it will be up to Leeds to deny space to de Olivares and the rest of the Qazox forwards.

Team: St Samuel
World Rank: NA
Schedule: home MD4, away MD11
Predictions: 3-0, 2-1
History: None
Key Matchup: Yves al Jahdali v. Solomon Bilbao - St Samuel have a legend on the bench, and this will be a real test to see if Bilbao is really adjusted to the pace of the international game.

Team: Akbarabad
World Rank: 125
Schedule: away MD5, home MD12
Predictions: 1-1, 3-0
History: None
Key Matchup: Akbarabad v. Strong Bad - So, I mean, they're good, but I don't think they deserve a trophy. I don't even think they deserve a pizza.

Team: Operata
World Rank: 143
Schedule: home MD2, away MD9
Predictions: 3-1, 2-1
History: None
Key Matchup: Dancougar fans v. Google maps - They found their way to Dancougar, but we're not quite sure yet where they are, which could make it difficult for our team's supporters to get to the away fixture.

Team: Kelssek
World Rank: 35
Schedule: away MD3, home MD10
Predictions: 1-1, 1-1
History: 1-0-0, 3 GF, 1 GA
Key Matchup: Alexandre Tremblay v. Dan Potts - The Port Royal teammates will go head-to-head as defender and forward, and Tremblay's familiarity with Potts' tendencies may help him negate a big part of the Dancougar attack.

Team: Colbourne
World Rank: 65
Schedule: home MD1, away MD8
Preductions: 2-1, 2-1
History: None
Key Matchup: Carlos Guavara v. Lyle Dylandy - Colbourne has a surprisingly nimble attack and will press forward without abandon, so it might come down to which team can establish possession first.

Wings keen to retake challenge cup: Some people don't like friendlies. Waste of time. Players risk injury in a game which doesn't mean anything, and the only thing you get is a sore body and maybe a cut of the gate. But if this is really the prevailing opinion among analysts and team officials, you would never guess it from the way the Wings have been hitting the practice field.

Back to back Baptism of Fire champions. One finished third in the World Cup, the other has won multiple di Bradini cups and a Cup of Harmony. They've built a reputation for scrappy battles all over the pitch whenever they meet, and this "meaningless" game is scheduled to take place on what amounts to sacred ground. If you ask me, it sounds like both teams are looking forward to the chance to compete against once another.

Yes, it's once again time for the chants to reverberate throughout the crowd: Bird on Skates, Bird on Skates!

Dancougar and Newmanistan will play what has become a traditional pre-qualifying friendly for the Golden Ambiguous Bird on Skates, which is possessed by the Rockets by virtue of a 2-1 Oxen Cup victory. The Rockets lead the all-time series with four wins and a draw out of eight matches, and the players are eager for the chance to even things up.

"This is a statement game for them, right away," said midfielder Kevin Underwood. "They want to put some fear into the teams who've qualified ahead of them; they want to let everyone know they're still out there and they're still on the rise."

"There could be some cards in this one," said defender Brad Leeds. "They've got that guy now, Stevens, trying to make a name for himself in the middle there. And they'll remember the last time we were here." The Wings dealt Newmanistan a crushing blow in World Cup 43 qualifying by winning on the final matchday 4-1 in Newmanistan, where a Rocket win would've seen them leapfrog Lovisa into their first World Cup.

The match will mark the official start of the World Cup 44 cycle for the Black Wings, and coach Bilbao says he'll play most of the first team in order to get them ready for the opening qualifier against Colbourne.

STARTING XI:
Watanabe

Berber Carter Leeds

Landro Underwood
Dylandy Hayashi Voronzoff

Furuya Potts

BENCH:
Brengle
Samrov, van der Horst
Midorikawa, Ingram
Dennin, Stadler

http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/7993/dailyturkjo0.png

Group Predictions
1 Bazalonia (24)
2 Bactrian Camels (NR)
3 Wentland (16)
4 Koseli Cumhuriyetler (62)
5 Solenial (152)
6 Demot (2)
7 Syktyvkar (98)
8 Arroza (49)

Match Scheduel and anticipated result:
Wentland vs Koseli Cumhuriyetler: 2-0 loss
Koseli Cumhuriyetler vs Bactrian camels, Aslan Tepe: 5-0 win
Bazalonia vs Koseli Cumhuriyetler: 1-0 loss
Koseli Cumhuriyetler vs Arroza, Yesilkoy Stadi: 2-1 Win
Koseli Cumhuriyetler vs Syktyvkar, Aslan Tepe: 3-1 Win
Demot vs Koseli Cumhuriyetler: 4-0 Loss
Koseli Cumhuriyetler vs Solenial, Aslan Tepe: 4-0 Win
Mid Qualifying friendly
Koseli Cumhuriyetler vs Wentland, Cumhuriyet Stadi: 1-1 Draw
Bactrian Camels vs Koseli Cumhuriyetler: 4-0 Win
Koseli Cumhuriyetler vs Bazalonia, Cumhuriyet Stadi: 1-0 Win
Arroza vs Koseli Cumhuriyetler: 2-1 Loss
Syktyvkar vs Koseli Cumhuriyetler: 2-2 Draw
Koseli Cumhuriyetler vs Demot, Cumhuriyet Stadi: 2-0 loss
Solenial vs Koseli Cumhuriyetler: 2-0 Win

That amounts to 23 points in total, but even the most drunk fan will admit that a slight hint of optimism has been put on the results given that it's just our return to international competition.

Coach Hakan's Expectations
Well I expect the team to be competitive but thats not all I want, I feel we have the quality to be challenging the top teams but it's all about belief and determination which our nation is saturated in so will it rub off on the squad? I certainly hope so because with ex-K&TT legends like, Sinan, Sabri, Serkan and Orhan in the team I hope we can bring it to the other teams.

Hakan Ismir.

The Albrecht Herald Online ~ Your World Cup 44 Paper>Sport>Football
Back to reality as Dannat names friendlies squad
By Mack Hession

A matter of months after sensationally taking the Vahala Invitational title from under the noses of the undisputed best team in the world, Elgin Dannat’s Big Blues will return to action in mid-week in the slightly unlikely location of Barkham Park, Parwood, Kura-Pelland.

A friendly against Qazox, though a useful test against a top-twenty national team, is not in and of itself an event to savour – more what the game represents. Fixtures between the hosts and the Pheonix, played in the neutral co-hosting country, have become something of a tradition. For those Candelariasians who make the trip to Kura-Pelland, this will be another pinch-yourself occasion – we’re them, we’re the World Cup co-hosts. How the hell did that happen?!

As Qazox steadily recovers from another horrific regional conflict, Candelariasian travelling supporters can expect to claim Barkham Park as their own, though locals may have something to say about that. World Cup 44 aside, Kura-Pelland and C&M remain heated international sporting rivals, and Joanna Davids’ men and women can expect most of the neutral support, aside from that part still bearing good will towards the Candelarias for having sired Ramiro Novo.

While Qazox are expected to take on Kura-Pelland at Solidarity during mid-qualifying, this neat little threesome will be sewn up when C&M meet Kura-Pelland themselves later this week. This game – and mid-qualifying home fixtures with Nethertopia and West Zirconia – will be utterly vital from a political point of view, with the Big Blues more than likely to be playing their WC44 games on Candelaria. The three friendlies are therefore on Marquez, with La Escalera Naranja hosting both Kura-Pelland and Nethertopia – and with the capacity rising every time, as WC44 organisers ease tentatively towards bringing the new Onwere stadium up to its full tournament potential, modular tier by modular tier.

For Dannat, of course, the games are also a fundamental of his preparation, without qualifying fixtures to experiment with. In some ways, qualifying automatically is a poisoned chalice for the new manager, but he will at least have the advantage of having used two separate squads before naming his official twenty-three.

This group, for the fixtures in Parwood and Onwere, see six first-time call-ups, with all expected to see playing time – most likely against Kura-Pelland. Notable omissions include Felix Currey, Harris Dixon and Jamie González, but Dannat was quick to stress that the door had not been shut on their international careers, and stressing that a less experienced group of players would likely see call-ups for the mid-qualifying matches. The likes of Ben Royle, Jack Johnson, Joe Rodríguez, Toby Perry, Chris Kilgore and Danny Adams were mentioned in the manager’s press conference as plausible contenders for those games, alongside potential recalls for Ryan Edwards, Robin Jacobs and Richard Johansson, among others.

Dannat looks set to play both Smith and Ibadulla up front against Qazox, with Mengucci the only holding player in a 4-4-2.

Goalkeepers
23. Joel Sbaïz, Aged 30, Chelmar FC [Yafor 2], 44 caps
1. Harry Rosalia, 23, Albrecht FC
22. Ryan Gonzaléz, 28, KT Hotspur

Defenders
2. Gwynfardd Lopulalan, 22, KT Hotspur, 7 caps, 1 goal, DR
22. Austin Neal, 20, Caires City, DR

18. Enrique Silva de Aviz, 29, A.F.F [Cafundéu], 45 caps, 1 goal, DC
5. Eric O’Brien, 22, Marquez-Onwere, 8 caps, DC
6. Hugo Julio, 25, Cathedral City, DC

3. God’s Power Adekunde, 27, Albrecht Turkish, 30 caps, DL
13. Tom Durrant, 23, IYC Vanan [Yafor 2], 3 caps, DL

Midfielders

19. Niv Cohen, 26, Albrecht Turkish, 42 caps, 9 goals, MR
21. Diego Fernando Pappas, 22, Marquez-Onwere, 2 caps, MR

8. Connor Mengucci, 31, CAPTAIN, Petardos S/A [Cafundéu], 81 caps, 2 goals, DMC
4. Ben Zec, 23, Albrecht FC, 6 caps, 1 goal, DMC
15. Francesco Avola, 21, Loudon Leopards [Newmanistan], DMC

20. Dionísio Madeira Lobos, 31, Caires City, 47 caps, 15 goals, AMC
26. Lawrence Amey, 21, Caires City, AMC/R

11. Aaron Kortsarian, 27, Cafundó do Juta [Cafundéu], 22 caps, 4 goals, ML
17. Nic Lloyd, 22, Caires City, 6 caps, ML

Forwards

10. Tom Smith, 26, Arrigo Portuguese, 37 caps, 18 goals
7. Abdul Ibadulla, 23, Juavi FC [Eesseff], 22 caps, 4 goals
9. David Spooner, 21, Caires City, 4 caps
14. Isaac Burridge, 28, AAC-Dimrar FC [Yafor 2]

Lower East Side, El din, Marquez


Peep. ……… Peep. ……… Peep. ……… Peep. ……… Peep. ……… ……… ……… Peep. ……… Peep. ……… Peep. ……… Peep. ……… Pee–

“Er. OC2, this is OC1, d’you hear me?”

“Mm-mm?”

“OC2, please respond, over.”

“Jusht finishing me peesha, Jase… ‘Ang on a mo…”

“This might be quite important, OC1. Over.”

“Roger that, OC… No, hang on, you’re OC1…”

“I… Oh yeah. Who’re you, then?”

“OC2. Dave’ll do though, Jase. Got an anchovy stuck in me teeth.”

“Er… Okay. Anyway, um, did you hear that?”

“Eh?”

“Beatrice. She… peeped.”

“Whoop-de-do. That makes a change. She’s been doing that for nigh on forty years, Jase.”

“Yeah, duh… Nah, there was like, a pause… And then she peeped differently for a bit.”

“What’s she doing now?”

eep. ……… Peep. ……… Peep. ……… Pe–

“Peeping. All normal, like.”

“Well, there you are then. Nothing to worry about. C’mon, it’s a forty year-old satellite, and it hasn’t been seen to for all four of them decades. It’s not going to work perfectly all the time, is it?”

“Yeah, but… I ain’t never heard her do that before…”

“Ours is not to reason why, Jase.”

“Dave, we’re bloody research scientists!”

“We’re lab technicians, Jase. Just leave it, mate. This isn’t our place.”

“Yeah, but… It was like someone was trying to deliberately hide what the old girl was picking up, o–”

“…”

“Dave?”

“Just leave it, mate. Ask no questions, you get told no truths.”

“Eh?”

“I prefer shrimp, on the whole, don’t you? As a seafood-based topping. Or tuna.”

“Eh?”


***


“Shooting star!”

“Hm? Nah, that’ll be an alien interstellar cruiser entering Earth’s atmosphere on a routine surveillance mission.”

The older man blew out his cheeks. “Could be, could be… And there’s no need to be sarky, my lad. Why, at this very moment, they could be feeding false information to the National Space Facility across the widdle, clamming up Beatrice and the Rushmori Regional Defence Net to make sure that a whole bunch of tech ops and minor scientists don’t get wind that there’s a Rymerian starliner returning to earth after all these decades on a pre-World Cup reccy.” Igor Melbardis paused, and stayed staring at the night sky. “Could be a shooting star, mind you,” he conceded thoughtfully.

“Riiight…”

Seamus Zheng scrambled to his feet, and shivered slightly. It was… nice, up here, you couldn’t disagree with that. The roar of cars and trains, and the occasional honks and blood-curdling screams, of a twenty-four hour city were a constant companion to anyone brought up spending their nights in downtown Albrecht, but up here on Purity Mount they had all dissipated to but a gentle hum. There were insects about, and owls, and that section of the capital’s homosexual community that had valiantly colonised the steep incline of Albrecht’s self-styled ‘mountain’, but otherwise it was so, so quiet up here, for any visiting city boy at least.

And the lights… You didn’t need a map, even at two in the morning. You could spot Capenton Street and Cohonda Street, and the rest of the unsleeping financial district. Irish Street was proudly illuminated, if you knew what you were looking for, and the shiny new Samseong Tower in what had once been Thompsontown High Street shone out over the west end. And Christmas wasn’t far behind, of course, which made it all the more special. The districts of Bramline and Clamber Away were still brightly lit, to show the world that they could bloody well afford it, nyaah, and Kingston and Mary’s Park likewise, even though they bloody well couldn’t.

Turn ninety degrees, and you could clearly make out Morganstown and the Docklands. One-eighty, and there were Hoxton and Lexaton, and you fancied you could see all the way out to Starless City, and Talinger, and the Mayo Valley mountains themselves. South-east Candelaria was your model village.

Fifteen years, he’d lived in this city, boy and… older boy, and not once had his parents or St. Eugene’s Catholic Primary School or anybody thought to take him up here.

There were fringe benefits to being the somewhat unwitting disciple slash protégé of a nutcase. Seamus still had no real idea what they were doing up here, but he welcomed it all the same.

He kicked cheerfully at a bobble hat left over from the New Year’s Eve celebrations and looked down thoughtfully at Igor, as the young man remained lying down with his hands behind his head, staring up into those stars that could be made out amid the haze of human habitation.

“Rymerian then, eh?”

“Could be…”

“I looked them up. After they did the World Cup draw. It’s a small country in Technopolia, mostly Catholics… Mark Lyndon’s the President, only just been elected…”

“Don’t talk to me about ‘Lyndon’,” Igor sighed.

“House of Representatives, Senate, isolationist… Flag’s got a lily on it. Didn’t say anything about space ships…”

“And you believed what you read?”

“Didn’t have any reason not to,” Seamus shrugged. It wasn’t that he didn’t Believe in what Igor Believed, or indeed Knew – he’d seen a gorilla referee a high-profile international friendly match, he’d heard a government minister talking about elves an’ that, and Igor had shown him a handful of things in these past few weeks that simply couldn’t be explained by a traditional Candelariasian world view. But… space men? “Are they aliens then, or what?”

“They are indeed. Great big gribbly buggers, loads of legs, six genders. Harmless, unless you insult their mothers.”

“Right.” Even now, Seamus seemed a long way from determining if and when Igor was toying with him, mocking his naivety. They certainly looked like humans, on the photos, and had names like ‘Mike’ and ‘Karen’ which should have been giveaways, though you could say the same about the elves. He still couldn’t quite picture a multi-limbed alien called ‘Jeff’, but perhaps that was his own lack of imagination coming to the fore. Or else Igor was lying, or being sarcastic. Or had got it wrong.

Or, equally possible, was that Igor Melbardis was, to put it kindly, a bit mental. The thought had occurred to Seamus more than once, ever since Igor had taken him under his wing and promised to explain the secrets of the universe hidden thus far to the Candelariasian public. So far the experience had been gently disappointing, consisting of a meeting with a short man who might have been a gnome or, more likely, a short man; a lecture on what the Myedvedyens and Nethertopians were doing to their beers, which Seamus instinctively felt had lost something in translation, somewhere, but didn’t have the heart to stop Igor mid-flow; some dark mutterings about secret agents carrying you off in the night; the the whole business with the nightmare-inducing ancient norse goblins living under Gordon Bay City, which was plainly claptrap; and a discussion with a room full of Igor’s fellow conspiracy theory geeks on the Candelarias’ true place in the multiverse and the existence of many hundreds of alternate Earths and assorted other Worlds, including the one on which Ad’ihan and the Heartland could be found, which Seamus knew was piffle ‘cos his mate Kevin had gone there to watch Albrecht FC play the AFC Hatton in the last Globe Cup. But Igor had just waved an airy hand, as he always did, and dismissed it all as ‘complicated’.

It was frustrating, but the important thing was that Melbardis had developed a taste for aromatic duck in recent weeks, and become arguably Finnegan’s Wok’s best patron. Seamus appreciated enough about family loyalty to know that Igor’s vital custom in these difficult economic times was utterly vital to the Zhengs, and more than worth spending an hour here and there in the company of this young lunatic.

Seamus clapped his gloves together. “So… How far away are they?”

“Hm?”

“Rymeria…”

“Fifteen light years. Give or take.”

“Right. I wonder how they’ll do in qualifying…”

“I haven’t a clue, Seamus.”

“They’ve got an easier group than they might have done. Lovisa an’ that, who’re punching way above their wotzit. Did you see the C&M squad? For the Qazox game in Parwood? Great to see a few of the younger players in there, isn’t it? We always tend to wait so long to given them their chance, but it’s so obvious that Neal and Amey are ready, and Avola. It’ll be nice to see what Burridge can do too, even though he’s getting on a bit, although I don’t suppose Dannat’ll risk him against Qazox. Save him for Kura-Pelland maybe, but he’s got to try Smith and Ibadulla up front together for at least one of the friendlies, and Amey’s definitely got to get a start. And Julio, although I don’t see him and O’Brien as natural partners, too small. I’m guessing he’ll play Enrique in both games, but I’m certainly not altogether sold on him even now, with…”

Seamus trailed off, aware that the conversion had become a monologue. He glanced to the sky, in case an alien battleship had chosen this moment to hover over Albrecht, but Melbardis was no longer looking upwards. Instead, he was sitting, his arms around his legs.

“The secrets of the universe are unfolding before your very eyes, Seamus, it’s two o’clock in the damn morning, and you’re concerned with football?” He glanced towards the boy’s shrug. “You’re not even a proper football fan! F’r heaven’s sake, you’re one of those Candelarian kids who support Green Island as an excuse to have Lúthien Anwamanë posters on your wall!”

“Yeah… But it’s the national team, innit?”

“You’re Northlandish Asian, what should you care of all that?”

The boy shrugged again, looking genuinely nonplussed. “I just… You just do. You have to. I mean…” He smiled. “’course, you’re not from around here, are you? Didn’t you live in Chesapeake Bay until you were twenty, with all the baseball and gridiron and whatnot? Once you’d, y’know…”

“Once my family had fled the region of our birth, and our grandparents’ birth, and our deepest, darkest ancestors’ birth, with just enough time to spare to avoid being slaughtered by the Macedonians? And we didn’t know, y’see? The government, it kept everything from us until the very last moment. We didn’t know that countless other nations in Bangladesh, and Serbia, and Cyprus, and Oman had already fallen to the Empire. They kept us ignorant, and it destroyed our people, scattered us across the worlds, broke our hearts…”

“Um. I’m sure that won’t happen here, Igor… The Macedonians wouldn–”

“The Macedonians are the least of your worries. But don’t you see, Seamus? Your whole life is a lie, everything you’re told, and every one of your countrymen… And one day, it’s going to kill you all. I don’t care about Lawrence Amey or Isaac Burridge, or that you ‘have’ the World Cup. God, there could be all sorts coming here, elves and zombies and beers, a–”

“Are you sure about the beers?”

“And your government will still find a way of keeping your all ignorant, your brains nullified by bread and circuses, pizza and football… You’re all fools!” Igor cried out, tears pooling in deep blue eyes.

“It’s nothing personal,” Seamus added contentiously towards a couple of startled men within earshot over the other side of the peak, nervously pulling their trousers up. “Igor… Why did you bring me here? To Purity? Tonight?”

“It’s the first night of the year, Seamus. I don’t suppose you’ll remember that, tomorrow. The Time Dilation Devices will take care of that… But look out over the city, over the Candelarias, Seamus. On the first night of the year. Because I’m telling you this, my young friend. You won’t live to see another. None of us will.”

Seamus remained still, as a soft breeze whistled around Purity, thinking of something to say. “Will… will we still get to host the World Cup first, though?”

Igor rubbed his hands over his face. “I… Almost certainly, Seamus,” he sighed. “Unless the Vanorians get their way, anyhow…”

The boy nodded, before blinking in thought and turning sharply towards his companion. “Eh?!”

Professor George Douglas entered the room. His assistant, Barry, was sitting in front of his PC. "Any particular reason for you to take over my computer, Barry?"
Barry quickly turned his head, looking in surprise. "Professor Douglas! But... But... You were..."
George looked agitated. "Yeah. Gone for two years. Those bloody ninja-monk-monkeys had captured me and somehow managed to drop me on a deserted island in the middle of an ocean I don't even know. I've finally got rid of it after a cruise ship managed to spot my fire. And it wasn't even a pleasant island. It was bloody cold. With huge Polar Bears. Did you know that Polar Bears tend to chase you for miles?"

"..."

Barry was astonished. This was probably one of the weirdest stories he ever heard. But then again, what can you expect from a country that sends monkeys to a World Cup? "Err... Riiiiight... Professor, I think I have some bad news for you."
Douglas gave Barry a look. They stared in each other's eyes for a few seconds. The professor feared the worst.
"I'm going to have to be the manager again, right?"
"Aye. The government has said that if you'd ever return, you'd need to pick up your position as manager."
"Oh. Bugger."
"The monkeys are dropped though."
"I'm... Going to coach an ordinary team? Thank God!"
"Err, no."
"Ohbugger..."

*****

The professor looked like he was going to burst out in tears at any moment. "So you're basically telling me that I have to coach... That?"
"Aye."
The professor, Barry and a garderer named Tom TomTom were standing in a forest, in a tree-house in front of an improvised football field. 22 oak trees with arms and legs were bluntly kicking a ball. They were about 20 feet high and had faces somewhere in the top of their trunks, making the top branches looking like hair. Douglas looked pale.
"How in the world did you guys create this?"
Tom began to speak. "We... Didn't. Two years ago, just after you disappeared, there was this big meltdown in our largest power plant and... Well.. This is the result of it. All trees within a mile of the power plant have turned into... Intelligent Treefolk. Barry here, and a complete team of researchers have tried to find an explanation for these - well, you can't call them trees anymore - Treemen. We've got about 700 of them living in our country now. After the meltdown they just introduced themselves to the locals who weren't vaporised by it and started living in the woods. Football seems to be their only interest besides the forest, so we asked them if they wanted to participate in the World Cup. And they told us that they'd gladly do it. So this is our 'home stadium'. If you look to your right, you can see that the Treemen have created a natural stand for about 2000 humans. They have their own language, but somehow speak human as well. They call this... Stadium Humphra Ignhorium. Don't ask me what it means. Let me introduce you to them."
The three men started to walk towards the Treemen. "Hmpf. At least these creatures have brains, and seem to be likeable," said professor Douglas, to no one in particular.

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a300/WoollyLinnet/DailyHerald.jpg

Enter our World Cup Competition and win two tickets for the Finals!

All right, so our brave boys' chances are slim, but whether they make to Candelaria And Marquez or Kura-Pelland or not, you can win two tickets to the Finals.

The Holy Empire coach has announced that their team will consist of all our worst nightmares, so we asked our first XI what their phobias were. Their responses were as follows:

Steve Gray: Ailurophobia
Ben Phillips: Brontophobia.
Lewis Fox: Tomophobia.
Russell Munro: Autophobia.
Paul Paterson: Toxicophobia.
Ian Hawthorne: Nyctophobia.
Patrick Williams: Gymnophobia.
Ed French: Apiphobia.
Anthony McGowan: Taurophobia.
Martin Forster: Haemophobia.
Alun Lydiate: Cynophobia.

If you know what, in plain English, frightens our team, then phone us on 0998 601701, and you could be on your way to the Finals.

Lines are open 9:00am-5:00pm, Monday-Saturday. Competition closes at 5:00pm on 7 January. Calls typically last 3 minutes, and cost WZC 1.50 per minute. Calls from mobiles may be considerably higher.

MEMORANDUM

TO: Group 5 nations
FROM: Mark Lyndon
President, Confederacy of Rymeria
SUBJECT: Transportation to Rymeria

Greetings from the planet of Rymeria. We understand that all of you are likely Earthbound nations, and as such, would require transportation to Rymeria, which is approximately 10 light years from Earth.

To facilitate the ability to play our home matches, we offer the services of the RSV Hera, a faster-than-light transport that can bring you to Rymeria for our home matches in Rymeria City. However, if a nation would choose to serve as a de facto home field for us on the Planet Earth, we would be willing to train there and play our home matches there until the World Cup reaches its conclusion.

We wish all our opponents good luck, except when they play the Rhinos, of course.

[OOC: If the fact this nation is actually a planet presents a problem, I can have the Iron Bowl in Portland, Sarzonia serve as the "home" pitch for Rymeria unless another nation offers to "host" Rymeria's "home" matches. Sarzonia's home matches will all be played at Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium in Woodstock, so there's no problem.]

Stadium workers were used to tight deadlines. After all, they had to finish refurbishing Hendrix Stadium in time for Sarzonia's national gridball team to host five matches during the team's surprising run in World Bowl IV.

Now, the de facto national stadium, Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium, was hurriedly getting prepped for a friendly against Starblaydia. Then it had to be ready for tomorrow's World Cup XLIV qualifying opener against Dariusville.

The last time Sarzonia was involved in World Cup qualifying, the team walked through its group in World Cup XXX. Then Starblaydia knocked the Stars out in the second round in a 2-0 score that was the last time a Sarzonian national team competed on the world stage.

New Coach Brian Wilson harbours no sentiment that his current squad will relive the old glories. The squad he has now is young by World Cup standards. The team hadn't faced any competition beside its domestic leagues in several years. The nation was now a far different place with a new president and a lower international profile.

But the team would still have to play like Stars. That meant outworking everyone for 90 minutes. If by some miracle, the team advanced to the World Cup knockouts, they'd have to be ready to outwork everyone for 120 minutes. They would again adopt the attack-minded possession passing game and they would again rely on all 10 field players to play strong defence.

The difference between the early Sarzonia squads and this one was the identity of the coach. From World Cup XVI to World Cup XXIV, Brian Wilson was a star forward. He became the second player to score a hat trick in a World Cup final. He was one of the few players on the team who wasn't a grinder. But now, he was expecting to have a team of grinders.

Not that he expected much. This squad was likely to struggle to even make it to 10 standings points. It would likely be the first time the Stars were eliminated from World Cup contention with several matches to go. The first three Stars squads went down to the final matchday.

Still, Wilson won't take a lack of effort. He said he'll send home anyone -- even the man wearing the captain's armband -- if he or she dogs it.

He's said publicly he looks forward to the challenge of bringing Sarzonia back. But privately, he worries.

The Holy Empire coach has announced that their team will consist of all our worst nightmares, so we asked our first XI what their phobias were. Their responses were as follows:

Steve Gray: Ailurophobia
Ben Phillips: Brontophobia.
Lewis Fox: Tomophobia.
Russell Munro: Autophobia.
Paul Paterson: Toxicophobia.
Ian Hawthorne: Nyctophobia.
Patrick Williams: Gymnophobia.
Ed French: Apiphobia.
Anthony McGowan: Taurophobia.
Martin Forster: Haemophobia.
Alun Lydiate: Cynophobia.


Guy A: "Are you serious?"

Guy B: "Absolutely. West Zirconia has composed a team based upon their relative fears, and subsequently posted those very fears for us to use in our match preparation!"

Guy A: "That means we'll have to get on and figure out what they mean."

Guy B: "Some of these are pretty easy. Let's see... Fear of Thunder, Fear of ...women?... Fear of blood... Fear of some kind of animal... Fear or another kind of animal... Fear of poison... Fear of oxen... Fear of bugs?... Fear of the night... those last ones are pretty hard..."

Guy A: "Hey! Why don't we call them now? We could win the prize! And then use this stuff in our game against WZ!"

Guy B: "That's a great idea!"

Guy A: <dials 8998 681781>

Phone: (rickety-racket) "Hello, you've just dialed the Devil, and I'm coming to get your soul! Don't you worry about dying, I'll just stuff you down this hole! Stay on the line! Waste some time! We'll..."

Guy A: "Ack!"

Guy B: "What's wrong?"

Guy A: "Awful poetry! I can't get it out of my head!!! Are you sure that that was the correct number?"

Guy B: "Yes. Let me dial." <dials 0998 601701>

Phone: "Welcome to the Daily Herald Hotline. For all your latest World Cup News. For calls in English, press one. Para las llamadas en español, prensa dos. Pour des appels en français, presse trois. Für Anrufe auf Deutsch, bedrängen Vier. Per le chiamate in italiano, pressa cinque..."

Guy B: "Oh, I can't understand a single word..."

Guy A: "What do you mean? Let me hear."

Phone: "To repeat this list, press 9."

Guy A: <presses 9>

Phone: "Welcome to the Daily Herald Hotline. For all your latest World Cup News. For calls in English, press one..."

Guy A: "I understand that... It's English!" <presses 1>

Phone: "If you want to buy a subscription to the Daily Herald, press 1. If you're here to talk to one of representatives, press 2. If you're here to get the latest in stock market updates, press 3. If you're not certain if you want to buy a subscription, press 4. If you're here to participate in our World Cup Competition, press 5..."

Guy A: <presses 5> "Finally."

Phone: "Are you sure you don't want to buy a subscription to the Daily Herald? If you've changed your mind and you do want to buy a subscription, press 1. If not, press 2."

Guy A: "Ack!" <presses 2>

Phone: "Are you really sure you don't want to buy a subscription to the Daily Herald? If you've changed your mind and you do want to buy a subscription, press 1. If not, press 2."

... 50 dials later ...

Guy A: "I can't believe I wasted thirty minutes and who knows how much money buying a freaking subscription just answer this stupid question..."

Guy B: "But we got a great deal!"

Guy A: "This better be worth it..."

Phone: "Hello, you've reached the World Cup Competition of the Daily Herald, please submit your answers."

Guy A: "Um Okay...?" <hands the phone to Guy B>

Guy B: "Ailurophobia is a fear of cats.
Brontophobia is a fear of thunder.
Tomophobia is a fear of surgery.
Autophobia is a fear of being alone.
Toxicophobia is a fear of being poisoned.
Nyctophobia is a fear of the night.
Gymnophobia is a fear of nudity.
Apiphobia is a fear of bees.
Taurophobia is a fear of oxen.
Haemophobia is a fear of blood.
Cynophobia is a fear of dogs."

Phone: "Thank you for your time and your subscription to Daily Herald. One of our customer service representatives will look over your call and verify your answers. Thank you and have a nice day." -click-

Guy B: "Say, did you give them our address?"

Guy A: "Of course, we got a subsccription for their stupid magazine. Or newspaper. Or whatever. Come to think of it, how'd we get this one?"

Guy B: "Some tourist was carrying it down the street. Must have been West Zirconian?"

Guy A: "I guess. But how do we turn all of this information into solid anti-WZ ammunition?"

Guy B: "Well... we'll have two guys perform open-air surgery with a nude surgeon on the pitch, a guy wearing a poison sign, a beekeeper, a cow, a dog, a cat... and we'll play the game at night during a thunderstorm."

Guy A: "What about the guy who's afraid of being alone?"

Guy B: "Ummm... we'll lock him in his room before he has the chance to leave the hotel."

Guy A: "Brilliant, and half of the stuff we'll want to do is not permissible, and the other half we can't control. How do we pull it off?"

Guy B: "... I don't know..."

"Mr. Law, we need something, pronto."

The manager of the Vephrall national football team emitted a grunt. The sort of grunt with just the right tone that indicates that it's taking the form of a question. He looked across the room at what he thought was the clock. Parker Law wasn't wearing his glasses and thus failed to realize he was actually looking at a painting. To him, it looked like a clock which read something in the vicinity of eleven-thirty.

"The team, sir. For the World Cup."

"Do you know what time it is?" demanded Law.

"It's ten twenty-four, sir."

Law paused for a second as he parsed this. "Yes, well, you know I'm an old man. I go to bed by nine-thirty every night, and tonight was no exception. Can this not wait until morning?"

"Qualifying starts next week, sir! We've got to get the roster submitted to the organizers!"

"Exactly, next week. That's at least four days away. So I will go back to sleep now and take care of it in the morning." And without bothering to listen to the protest on the other end, Law hung up the phone.

"Damn kids," he muttered.

Such that it really matters, this is the RP Cut-Off for the Pre-Qualifying Friendlies. It has no other effect on MD1 proper, just so's you know...

And here be the scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14358481&postcount=2).

Well, that was a beating.

Brian Wilson walked slowly from the pitch following Sarzonia's 0:4 loss in front of a boisterous crowd of 71,826 at Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium in Woodstock. His first match as the manager of the Stars, for whom he once scored many goals as a legendary forward, was anything but successful.

He tried to think of positives, but they were few. Starblaydia dominated possession 63 minutes to 37, launched 19 shots on goalkeeper Cody Taylor and scored four goals. Granted, three of them came in a 10-minute flurry in the first half during which the Stars defence completely broke down, but the team got a rude re-introduction to World Cup football courtesy of the world's sixth ranked side.

As he approached the cameras and audio recorders, he heard the Stars sports information director announce his name and announce that there would be an opening statement.

"Well, what you saw was a side that could very easily hoist the Cup at the end of this World Cup season," he said. "It's obvious that we have a lot of work to do as we progress.

"As far as positives are concerned, we got an opportunity to see how we handle ourselves against a world class football side. And we have a better idea of exactly what we need to do to get better out there. I'll take questions."

"Coach, Travis West, Woodstock Daily Mail. Any thoughts about playing a more defensive style considering how strong Starblaydia are?"

Wilson grimaced slightly, then answered with a slightly hushed tone.

"We can't change who we are as a side," he said. "If we played a defence-oriented game, we'd be going away from our strengths. We can't change our tactics based on the team we play or we'll be in more trouble than we were out there."

"Coach, Marti Tolliver from Channel 3 News in Easton. Can you tell me what adjustments you made in the second half that held Starblaydia to one goal?"

"Not many," Wilson said. "We made some on-the-fly adjustments after that three-goal meltdown based on what we were up against. I think that worked out well for us."

"That's all the time I've got today. Hopefully, our next match will be a little easier."

"The referee has announced a free kick for Bears Armed, and Urra 'Honey' SunBlessed has been called forwards from just behind the centre-line to take this...
There are only three minutes left to play now, and visitors 'Jeru FC' are still leading by 2 goals to 1. They scored twice during the first half, on both occasions with their captain Lylie Langford being the person who actually put the ball into our net although teamwork from his colleagues was very important in setting up those opportunities, but then the Belles' manager Bob Smith swapped the two 'Harroya's in to replace the sisters Karramarsar for the second half and -- only seven minutes after play had resumed -- Harroya 'of the Rovers' managed to take a long pass from team-captain Marra SunDaughter and kick it right over Jeru's goalie Elisa Roberts into the top-right corner of the net.
Urra kicks -- the ball flies true to Harroya 'She-Lion', down the side of the pitch -- one of Jeru's defenders tries a tackle, but she successfully dodges this -- is she going for the goal herself? No, she's just passed it towards SunDaughter, who's in a better position to shoot -- but Jeru midfielder Dinkie Dosha has intercepted this pass, and kicks the ball to her team-mate Noddie Odisku who's standing deep within our own half -- Urratharra o Stronpaw, playing at Left Back, manages to tackle that opponent succesfully, and sends the ball to SunBlessed -- SunBlessed to SunDaughter, to Harroya 'of the Rovers, who shoots -- and and she's scored AGAIN! With less than a minute of the game remaining, Harroya o Redwood has equalised. Now, will the Bears manage to turn the game completely around and actually win it?"

(about a minute later...)

"That's it, the referre has blown his whistle for the end of the match, and its result is a draw: Bears Armed 2, Jeru FC 2... Despite starting badly, the Belles have managed to hold a team that's much more highly ranked than themselves in international competition to a draw...
Now, over to Garrom o WhiteBear in the studio for an analysis of what this means in terms of our chances in the actual 'World Cup'."

_______________________________________________________

(In a comfortable-looking conference room, located quite close to the stadium...)

Seven Ursines, including Barram o Harruror (the manager of Plumtrees Park), are sitting around a large, round table and looking at the list of qualifying matches for which their team is entered _

Group 10
1 Brightonburg (NR) (roster)
2 Iseerussiafrommyhouse (136)
3 Myedvedeya (55) (roster)
4 Blouman Empire (39)
5 Yafor 2 (14) (roster)
6 Prux (30) (roster)
7 Bears Armed (84) (roster)
8 Cafundéu (5) (roster)

Match Day 1: Bears Armed vs Cafundeu
Match Day 2: Bears Armed vs Yafor 2
Match Day 3: Prux vs Bears Armed
Match Day 4: Bears Armed vs Myedvedeya
Match Day 5: Blouman Empire vs Bears Armed
Match Day 6: Bears Armed vs Brightonburg
Match Day 7: Iseerussiafrommyhouse vs Bears Armed

Match Days 8-14: Fixtures reversed.

"Zombies? Better send some good shabears along..."

A cloaked figure hurriedly made their way down the brick paved road during the light drizzle. The light from the full moon was obscured by ominous clouds that were soaking the capital with rains for the past two days. Raynor City's downtown was surprisingly less crowded than the figure had anticipated, as they were easily able to navigate the dark corners of the streets without being seen. Finally they arrived in front of the oldest pub in the city, The Monarch and the Butterfly, where the letter had asked them to be at this late hour on this cold and wet evening. Rodiel Isilivanthor was not a patient woman, how could the newly elected VFA President afford to be, and she had expected her "guest" to have been here ten minutes ago. Yet when a drenched cloaked figure step through the door of the pub, the frown that had been upon the pale face was replaced with a small, somewhat evil looking, smile.

"Tell me Athminaion, why did you come here tonight? Why not stay out of the way and just remain home and completely out of any consequence that may stem from the actions I will ask you to take?" Rodiel said with a fake sound of concern in her voice as the short male elf took his seat in the corner booth. Without pulling back his hood, two sparkling blue eyes erupted in the view of the slender female.

"I came because my will told me that a person of your stature and position would not be needing my services unless the situation is dire. So I risked being seen once more by the public to come to your aid, and yet you mock me even still. Perhaps I should inform our dear Great Leader of the strings you've been pulling around this city. I am sure he would be more than eager to here your explinations for the uproar you have caused in the underground, and your actions at the World Cup draw."

A cold shiver went down the spine of the female as Athminaion finished his sentance. There was a dark aura around the man, and she had been warned that dealing with him was dangerous and foolish unless the cause was worth it. She had dismissed those warnings as the mere misplaced fears of what she suspected where minor tricks and illusions that her "guest" would use to gain the upper hand in negotiations. Yet here she was in the pub talking with him, and she felt very cold and very afraid, feelings she had not had in nearly a milennia.

"Then you know why it is that I would call for your services? My prisoner must be made an example of, we can no longer sit by and wait for the government to do something about those deluded and reckless people. It is time to strike back in the very much the same way that they have struck at our kin in their lands. Sam Mc'O'Neil must be made to pay for his and the crimes of his entire nation. Candelaria and Marquez must be shook to it's core if we are to make any headway in changing the ideas of those backwards people, and it must start at the top."

"Death then milady?"

Despite her fear, her smile returned to the VFA President's face as she thought about a thousand different things that she could have done to the the former CMSC official. Yet she knew of only one thing that would trully suffice and possibly make the repricussions that would follow possible."

"No, take him to the Godwell, and have him taste those waters. Perhaps then he will have a better appreciation of what it is to be of elvenkind."

At the teams training center...
Hakan walked into the TV room to see the team, who were playing their favorite game; "Punch the person who looks the most Greek." "Would have thought your favorite game was football guys, but whatever suits you." The team turned to face him and Orhan said in a anxious tone "Oh hey coach."
"Alright guys" Hakan began "there is only one motto here: "No matter how good your doing it, your doing it wrong." so lets get ready for some hard training" As he finished his sentence the team burst out laughing, all except the four K&TT veterans. "What the hell is so funny?" Yelled the coach who was confused about what was so funny, until Koray one of the younger players accidentaly kicked a bag over and bottles of Raki spilled out. "Oh I get it, you guys think this is going to be a massive drunken riot fest, well sorry to disappoint you but that's only acceptable for the home games!" The team suddenly went silent because they knew they were away for the first game. "Now get your butts out on the training field, hey you Koray, get my wooden stick." The team went out for training, or a massive beating it was hard to tell, but it got the job done.

Later the team came in to rest and after all the training and ass wallopings Sinan said "Who's up for a game of Punch the person who looks the most Greek!" The team cheered and picked Yaser since he was eating a yogurt.

No Elves On Show Over Sarzonia
Panarii/Perheira defend immortal non-inclusion

Well, that was a beating. It was the opening, and arguably the showpiece, match of the Mike Sarzo Memorial series of games between two former rivals and world champions, with four titles between them. Unfortunately, now, Sarzonia are in the same place as Starblaydia were twenty-five years ago. Worse, in fact, as Starblaydia had their shot at a Baptism of Fire. For Sarzonia and their coach, Brian Wilson, this was their Baptism, against a side ranked sixth in the world, pushing for their fourth World Championship, just twelve years after winning their third.

What the Starblaydi - and perhaps world - media and fans had been looking forward to was not the age-old clash of white against navy. Thankful as we are for the return of the Stars, we were even more excited by the prospect of seeing Starblaydia's new contingent of immortal elvish elites. 'Valanora-light', as they've been christened by some sections of the press. Lex Panarii, apparently on major advice from Leandro Perheira and even the Elves themselves, decided against it.

"I don't think it would have seemed right," Panarii said in the press conference afterwards, "in that we're playing a few friendly matches in remembrance of a great President, Mike Sarzo, who died from cancer. The idea of playing immortals who can't suffer from disease in that game just seems... incorrect."

Indeed, one might wonder quite why they've been selected to the squad in the first place, as the all-human/dwarf side proved quite why they made it to sixth in the world on their own, before the Vanorian wannabes came swanning in. Four goals to nil was the scoreline which flattered the visitors only marginally, as though the balance of play was certainly in their favour, it was the ten minute whirlwind in the first half that gave Starblaydia three goals and out them out of sight before the Half Time whistle had even blown. The Starblaydi team lined up as: Westwood; Movalinen, Logan, Samba, Mehzubontin; England, Petropoulos, Mus'haf, Vegachenko; Di Bradini, Kaii'n.

Experience was the key here, with not a single player under 25 in the squad. Quite what Starblaydia will be doing four years from now is a whole different question, but the players of today performed admirably in the face of a fairly hostile crowd, despite the pleasantries pre-match. Lotar Kaii'n opened the scoring for Starblaydia after nineteen minutes, latching on to a Petropoulos chip that defeated the static Sarzonian defence, with Kaii'n slotting home past Taylor. Three minutes later, Yuri Vegachenko skinned Ted Philyaw for pace, breaking into the box from the right hand side. He crossed for Kaii'n, but his shot struck Taylor. Vegachenko was first to the rebound and prodded home, doubling Starblaydia's advantage. Five minutes later and Starblaydia had made it three, as Ricky England's free kick soaring through the air and straight into the net from twenty-four yards.

Starblaydia's cushion was nice and comfortable and the Stars offered little threat up front to trouble Starblaydia's back line. Zack Wilson provided most of the threat, making life tough for Louisa Logan and allowing Matt Lynch more freedom in which to operate, drawing a top drawer save from Caleb Westwood before the first half ended.

The second, again, was mostly Starblaydia, but they didn't have things their own way as the Stars responded to prompts from their fans to get a hold of the game. Ettore Salivani tired the hardest to get to grips with Starblaydia and his job was made far easier when Rashid Mus'haf was withdrawn for the more attack-minded Andvari Bazrimar. With just one tough-tackling midfielder to come up against, Sarzonia's game improved, resulting in a good chance for Grover that again Westwood was called upon to deny. Starblaydia really wrapped up the game with twenty minutes to go thanks to a second goal from Vegachenko, who had been making a nuisance of himself down both flanks.

Four-nil: certainly not what Brian Wilson and Sarzonia wanted, more than what Lex Panarii wanted. It was nothing like what Valrauncion wanted, of course, as he was overheard saying afterwards: "Had I played in Kaii'n's stead, I would have scored four times."

Final score from Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium (71,826):
Sarzonia 0 - 4 Starblaydia
(None) - (Kaii'n 19, Vegachenko 21 & 70, England 27)

To: Mark Lyndon, President of the Confederacy of Rymeria
From: Kate Simpson, President, Secristan Department of Sports - Interregional Relations
Re: Interplanetary travel

Mr. Lyndon,

I received your mail this morning, and I am hoping this will get to you. I have never sent a mail outside of Earth before, so hopefully just sending a reply like I usually would has the same affect. I must admit, we have been baffled since the group draw to find out where actually your country was. Myself and other members of the Secristan Department of Sports have spent many hours looking at countless map versions with no luck, but we limited ourselves to maps of the earth. It wasn't until Spock Shatner of the Secristan Department of Space informed me of your planet. I must admit I never really paid much attention to him before.

As a country, we haven't really had any experience in interplanetary travel, but the concept of it is intriguing to myself and to many players, therefore we will have to take you up on the offer of the RSV Hera. We trust that it will be safe and that our players will arrive back safely.

It has also occurred to us that this match may peak the interest of our wealthiest citizens to travel to your planet and experience the RSV Hera themselves. Therefore, we would be very interested in establishing some kind of business deal between our country and your planet that could allow our citizens to travel back and forth and explore their curiosities for a fee that would mutually benefit both of us.

We look forward to playing you on the field.

Sincerely,
Kate Simpson

To: Mark Lyndon, President of the Confederacy of Rymeria
From: Felicia Basanta, Secretary, Arrozan Ministry of Tourism

To Mr. Lyndon,

We noticed your request for a possible alternate, earth-bound site at which to play your home games. As Arroza seeks to remake it's image into one of a vacation wonderland, we would like to have the chance to host the Rymerian Soccer Team, and ensure that their time on our planet is as comfortable as possible. We haven't actually seen or talked to any Rimerian in person yet, but from the tapes that we have managed to put together, you should find our planet and country to be up to your specifications.

If you choose to accept the deal, we could allow you use to use either Government Park in our nation's capital, Atalanta, or a suitable park in any of the other provincial capitals as Rymeria's home field. We suggest however that should you choose to come to our country that you either stay in the capital or in one of the following cities/stadia:

Huracan – Casino Royale, Huracan (66,400)
Resurgens – Resurgens Velodrome, Resurgens (108,300)
Llanura Tostado – Breakwater Park, Rockport (87,300)
Seclusion Coast – Fisherman's Union Field, Black Tide (44,209)

We will provide accommodation for the team, and a practice facility in any city they should choose, and a large cleared area...um we're not exactly sure what the “Hera” needs to land successfully, but unless it's something completely crazy we should be able to provide it. We also have links via ship and air to most other countries, especially those in Atlantic Oceania.

We sincerely hope you'll make Arroza “Your Home Away From Home!”

Sincerely,

Felicia Basanta

The Bazalopes are Marching In!

The World Cup Qualifiers have begun over recent times the Bazalopes have hit a major hump in the road falling from 8th to 24th in the world from claiming a groups top seed to being third facing the tough opponents of Demot and Wentland.

Wentland is the Bazalope's curse every time the team face them in the group stage the team end up performing their worse. He is what the BFSA president, Andrew Coulter had to say about this "There is no particular reason that I could see that we had such a sudden fall, granted perhaps media coverage wasn't the best but to fall 16 places to 24 in two cups there's got to be something else. But damned if I know what it is."

Who knows if this continued fall in the rankings will continue or whether the ship will stabilise and Bazalonia will once again assert itself as a team to be reckoned with. At the moment we'd be lucky to get into the Round of 16 let alone become runner-up in the Contest.

Bazalonian fans are hoping for a turn around in the teams fortunes, yet the team has remained the same as last World Cup. We don't know if this will be the teams downfall or a new renaissance for footballing in Bazalonia. We have now got our hands (finally) on the draw and the fixtures for the group stage. Bazalonia is in group 3 along with 7 other teams.

GROUP 3
1 Bazalonia (24)
2 Bactrian Camels (NR)
3 Wentland (16)
4 Koseli Cumhuriyetler (62)
5 Solenial (152)
6 Demot (2)
7 Syktyvkar (98)
8 Arroza (49)

Fixtures:

MD01: Bazalonia vs. Bactrian Camels @ Drago Soccer Field
MD02: Wentland vs. Bazalonia (Away)
MD03: Bazalonia vs. Koseli Cumhuriyetler @ SeaBazalope Arena
MD04: Solenial vs. Bazalonia (Away)
MD05: Bazalonia vs. Demot @ TeleBaz Stadium
MD06: Syktyvkar vs. Bazalonia
MD07: Bazalonia vs. Arroza @ Drago Soccer Field
MD08: Bactrian Camels vs. Bazalonia (Away)
MD09: Bazalonia vs. Wentland @ CBBC Dome
MD10: Koseli Cumhuriyetler vs. Bazalonia (Away)
MD11: Bazalonia vs. Solenial @ Trevton City Enclosed Field
MD12: Demot vs. Bazalonia (Away)
MD13: Bazalonia vs. Syktyvkar @ SeaBazalope Arena
MD14: Arroza vs. Bazalonia (Away)

The Meice Journal
All the news that fits, we print!
Vol. 173, No. 278 - 21 November 1765

Sports

World Cup selection raises questions
by Sadiques Dotsmens

Here at the Journal, we're pretty sure Parker Law knows what he's doing.

Followers of the Vephrall national team as a whole, though? Perhaps not quite so certain.

They wonder, for instance, why Lit Tesaire, who did a perfectly fine job in World Cup 43, isn't returning. For that matter, neither is anybody else who doesn't play their club football in either Vephrall or Cafundéu. But that's not even the biggest controversy. Why, they ask, is Mylfe sweeper Claspung Rempidar, generally considered as one of the ten best players in the VTF (one of the five best once you throw out the Vanorians in the league), not on the squad?

"Well, it's simple," says Law. "My tactics don't involve a sweeper. So what good would it do us for me to include a sweeper on the squad?" When asked about the possibility of just playing him as a regular defender, Law didn't seem to like that option. "Players have a certain mentality and there's only so much a coaching staff can do to change that." This response seems, frankly, baffling, and we can't help but wonder if there's some other reason why Rempidar has been left out. And if there is, maybe it's something the people of Vephrall need to know about.

Oh, and Tesaire? Law also gave a very brief answer for that one: "There's a glut of midfield talent in Vephrall right now, and that's an extremely competitive position. There are some very good players that just end up being left out."

"But this is excellent, Juan! Those West Zirconians have actually gone and told us their worst nightmares in advance! We can actually plan before the match!"

"With the slight problem, old friend, that West Zirconia aren't in our qualifying group."

"Oh. So who are?"

"Well, there's Quintessence of Dust..."

"Fear of being forgotten?"

"Septentrionia..."

"Peur de l'Anglais?"

"Newmanistan..."

"Fear of old women?"

"Miroxia..."

"Fear of anyone knowing who they are?"

"Milchama...."

"Fear of rubber chickens called Margaret?"

"Nethertopia..."

"Fear of consistency?"

"And Alex Ruined Hallelujah"

"Fear of septugenarian Zen Buddhist Jewish songwriters?"

"Admit it, old friend - you're guessing."

"Suppose I am, Juan. I suppose that I am."

"We'll find out soon enough."

"I suppose we will. First matchday's tomorrow, after all. Say..."

"What?"

"What do you suppose is the technical term for a fear of rubber chickens called Margaret?"

"I don't know, Simeone - and I'm really not sure I care...."

Welcome to “On the Hot Seat!” Where we ask Well known people in Arroza some hard hitting questions. I'm Dan Jackson your temporary host, and today's guest is National Soccer Team manager, Al Valente. Sit down, Al.

DAN: So, why has your team taken on a lot of what are obviously very attractive players, but not great, rewowned soccer players?

AL: Well first of all, this is Arroza. We don't have any renowned soccer players. We're constantly forced to dig through the country, find athletic players, and train them as well as we can. That's what we're doing now.

DAN: But with what, 2 former reality TV stars, a former calendar girl, a couple of soap opera hunks and some people pulled out of nowhere? How do you expect to qualify?

AL: Easy. We don't. Seriously, qualification is still out of our reach when we're in a group with Demot, Wentland, and Bazalonia. But what we do intend to do is to play and be attractive, and to promote our nation. And most of the “people from out of nowhere” played collegiately here and did very well. Even all of the TV people have played at least at some level.

DAN: But you can't seriously tell me that winning isn't important to you?

AL: Of course it's important. That's why we're out training these fools everyday. But it's less important than things like keeping the lights on, and the A/C running. There aren't a lot of jobs here for soccer managers.

DAN: So what's your plan for the tournament?

AL: Play hard and fast. Look good doing it. Go around .500, but make up for it by pleasing our governmental sponsors and sell out a bunch of hotel rooms.

DAN: Well you heard it here. Soccer Arroza: Dare to be Mediocre, as long as you look good doing it.

AL: Pretty much. Thanks for the interview.

_________________________________________

Statisticals:
Arroza 2, Secristan 0

Goals: Lancaster 12, Warfield 50
Assists: Elliott (2)
Cards: None

Arroza 4, Draistania 2

Home
Goals: Lancaster 16,55 (3), Elliott 58, Mahaffey 67
Assists: Weatherford, Warfield, Freeman, Pena

Away
Goals: Wright 26, Pollens 86
Assists: Gonzalez, Zephyr

Cards: None

THE ROCKET REPORT

THE BIRD STAYS

Tundra Falls, Newmanistan- For the ninth time, Newmanistan and Dancougar took to the field against each other to play the world’s popular game. At stake, the coveted Golden Ambiguous Bird on Skates Trophy. The trophy was created as the competitive rivalry between the Rockets and the Black Wings was taking shape, prior to World Cup 41 qualifying. That was just the start of what has become a fixture on the World Cup schedule. A pre-qualifying friendly between the nations, now for the 4th World Cup with the winner getting the trophy. When they meet, you can take your KPB rankings and toss them out the window. Despite a disparity in the rankings with the Black Wings now the #3 team in the world and the Rockets #36, Newmanistan leads the head-to-head series, 4-1-3 coming into this match. When KPB rankings are used, the series is split 2-1-2. Only once has the team that held the trophy going in to the game actually retained it, which was done by the Rockets during World Cup 43 qualifying. Of course, Newmanistan lost the trophy at a most inopportune time when Dancougar earned a big 4-1 win over the Rockets to send us to the Cup of Harmony. However, the Empire regained the trophy during the Oxen Cup. Some friendlies are called meaningless. This one is not. It’s about pride. Put eleven devoted athletes to their country on each side of the pitch, give them a ball and let them play. That’s all the meaning you need. There is a Bird on Skates on the line, after all.

The three times that the teams have met in a pre-qualifying friendly all have had one thing in common. The match was won by the road team. Dancougar had this on their side coming into the match but perhaps the spirits of Tundra Falls were not going to be so kind to them this time around. The coaches, Brian Carson and Solomon Bilbao have seen enough of the other now to where there would no outsmarting the other one. Yuji Watanabe and Jeremy McAllister have become accustomed to one another as well, and so have Chris Kusler and Dan Potts. Those last two are now teammates with Port Royal in Dancougar. Casey Berber knows how to shut down our top scoring threats, he does it all the time with Centralia. It is for reasons like this that this has become a classic head to head matchup. The early stages of the contest saw both teams seem to be studying the other, making conservative plays and seeing what kind of openings might present themselves a little later. It was after all, the first game of the qualifying season, and players needed a few minutes to get back in the swing of things, it appeared. Both teams have lofty goals for World Cup 44. For Newmanistan, they want to be there, and for Dancougar, it’s all about winning the Cup. After about ten minutes or so, the strength of the Black Wings midfield began to show and allowed them to gain more control of the match. It wasn’t until the 18th minute where they had their first good chance as Shishio Jinguuji ripped a shot on goal that was turned aside by Kusler. It triggered the “GOOOOJ” chants from the Black Wings faithful in attendance. On the ensuing corner, they got a ball in to Jinguuji, but he was defended extremely well by Alex Lampert, and could only get a weak shot off. We’re sure this is a drill the two of them have done many times in their Central United of Cafundeu training. Moments later, in the 22nd minute, Alexei Voronzoff smacked the left post with a shot, and then in the 27th minute he wanted to make sure the right post didn’t feel left out and smacked that one as well. Mr. Voronzoff likely was not on the good side of the spirits of the Proving Grounds. It was after that second hit post that the tide of the game begin to flow the other way. Alex Parnett was beginning to find some open room to maneuver, and Dale Stevens was doing his best to intimidate the Black Wings. The first great chance for Newmanistan came in the 33rd minute on a Parnett shot which was stopped by Watanabe, but his better save came on a diving effort as Jennifer Vilardi pounced on the rebound. Five minutes later, Newmanistan would get on the board first. A strong run up the middle of the field by Parnett made the play look promising, and it appeared as though Watanabe was anticipating a shot. His pass to Jeremy McAllister was well-placed but read well by the Dancougar defense, so J-Mac immediately passed it over to Brett Carlson, who had a step on Brad Leeds. Carlson roofed the shot and put Newmanistan up 1-nil in the 38th minute. Only a great stop by Watanabe in the 43rd off Parnett kept the lead from doubling before the intermission.

There are no halftime words that Brian Carson needed to say other then “Keep the Bird!” Overall, it looked like your typical Newmanistan vs Dancougar game with both nations having several good chances, and if not for a couple of unlucky post strikes, it would have been the Black Wings in the lead at halftime. The second half would be a true battle that would come down to execution. No gameplan change would be necessary.

At the start of the second half, no one was surprised by the effort of Dancougar to quickly try and get the equalizer. Except for the late stages of the first half when Parnett made some good runs, the Black Wings had controlled the midfield throughout the match. Lyle Dylandy was the player most impressive in the early stages as he was able to get his team into pretty good position, but whenever he tried to make a play, a steady Newmanistan defense was there with the answer. Jeremy Brooker was assigned to Dylandy and this was a very good head to head battle of a top forward and a top defender on two rival club teams of another nation. Finally, in the 55th minute, their hard work would pay off. Dylandy started the play by giving a nice ball to Dan Potts in the box. Potts was smothered by Scott LaFave, but it didn’t really seem to matter as there was just no way he was going to be denied. He was going to score here and there was nothing that could stop him, not even the spirits. He beat Kusler, his club teammate to his left to tie up the game. Chris did not seem to happy about it because he knew it would be something he would hear about all season long in the D-League. Just maybe, the score made Kusler better. With Dancougar still on the offensive, he made great saves on Jinguuji in the 61st and Potts in the 65th. He was not going to allow Potts to show him a picture of him and the Bird on Skates. In the 73rd minute, with Dancougar still pressing for the go-ahead tally, a fantastic long ball by Jeremy Brooker caught the Black Wings upfield. Parnett had plenty of running room and made the most of it, working a give-and-go with Jeremy McAllister to take the shot on Watanabe that would find the back of the net and put the Rockets in front, 2-1. The chants were quite clear now: “Keep the Bird! Keep the Bird!” were heard throughout the Proving Grounds. Despite being now down by a goal, the best scoring chances for the remainder of this game actually went to the Rockets with Watanabe making three stellar saves to keep it a one goal game for his teammates, but Chris Kusler would not face another shot on target for the rest of the game.

It is just the second time that the Bird on Skates has been successfully defended, and Newmanistan has lost just once in their last five meetings now against Dancougar (four of them using KPB rankings). Unless they should happen to meet in the World Cup Proper, it will be a little while before Dancougar gets another chance at the coveted trophy.

Final Box score:

NEWMANISTAN 2
Carlson (38')
Parnett (73')

DANCOUGAR 1
Potts (55')

Peisandros abuzz for first WC game!

The squad has been named, the players are ready and the fans are excited. The time has finally arrived for the Sandrians to begin their assault on the WC stage for the first time. After their hugely successful Baptism of Fire 31, which saw them undefeated until the final and with a goal difference of +16 over eight games, the Sandrians come in with an air of excitement and expectation -- a new feeling for the team.

Coach Pappas has been busy since BoF, filling up the seven spots. He has also had to select a new captain and vice-captain. Urias Halkias, who had the deputy spot for BoF, has stepped up to the fill in the gap left by Chrisou. Halkias talked today about how proud he is.

"I am over the moon, yeah, really happy. I guess I did expect it because I was vice for the Baptism of Fire, but it is still amazing to be named captain. It is such an honour. To be honest, a few years ago I thought this would be impossible. Who would have thought Peisandros would have a team at the WC qualifiers? I certainly didn't. Looking forward, we are hugely excited to get out on the field. We know we're good enough to be here and to pose a challenge to all these teams."

The choice for vice-captain was a difficult one but Pappas decided to go with his goal-scoring machine who has shown maturity far beyond his age, Costa Theotokis. It appears to be a good move as Theotokis has great respect among his peers.

Lovisa will be the Sandrian's first game, a team ranked 17th in the world. Superstar Praxis Nikolaidis is looking forward to playing a top 20 team and says it is games like these that can set up a tournament.

"If we win, we'll be feeling very confident. It's not that we're not confident now, but we would love to get a win first up. We know it's going to be tough be I think that spurs us on. We are ranked 84th so that is a long way behind Lovisa, but if we work hard we know we can do it. It happened for us in the Baptism of Fire where we got our first win then had six more on the trot. I'm looking forward to getting lots of game time and working hard on my game. It's going to be great fun"

Keep tuned as we follow Peisandros through qualifying and, hopefully, beyond.

Purple Knights Defeated in Both of There Friendlies

It could not have been avoided. The Knights playing a man down due to the 2 game suspension(the two frinedlies) of star player, and team vice-captain Brian Ying Uing. Uing has fallen from the path as many would say. The young kid from China Island, leading goal scorer in Taeshani history is in a rough patch. Just last month his parents, and his older sister Maria were killed by notorious mass murderer Ghengis Black. Black who was later caught by Ying Jing's finest, had already ammassed a total of 40 killings in the past year. Ying Uing has since been known to drink heavily, and may be using reefer. It is sad to see him go off the deep end, and it was finally addressed by the Knights coach Zeke when he suspended Uing for the two friendlies with Jeruselem, and Myedvedeya. In Taeshan the greatest soccering pride is to play in an international friendly and Zeke, and the fans hope this will turn Uing back to the good side.

In the first game the Knights played the big Taeshan VS Jeruselem season tip off game. The Princesses led by coach Ryan Greenly of Qazox defeated the Knights in a game that was not as close as the score. The two Jeruselemite goals came early, and the Jeru's seemed to be on attack mode all game as they barely gave the Knights a breather in the frigid conditions, and they showed them up on there own field. Hele scored the only Knights goal in the 80th minute of a bad offensive charge for the Princesses wich was turned into an impressive comeback for the Knights goal.

In there second frinedly of the year the Knights took on, for the second time in the rivalries short history in soccer, the Myedvedeyan Bears. The two fought like bitter enemies, but the lack of a leader on offense for the more expierienced Knights showed as after two first half goals on Adam Flight in goal(Montague out for rest) the Knights were unable to come back with there other starters. Ying Uing was greatly missed in these games, and it showed. There were many chances throughout the game, but without there best finisher the other two scorers found no fofense, and it was a lacklaster performance.

Knights Shaking in There Boots as They Gear Up For Next Game

This is a laugher. In there next game the Knights will play the youngest team in there group O Ale Ale. Nicknamed by the press as the nobodies from somwhere the O Ale Ale team will have a tough year facing of against to of the top twelve teams in the world. So will the Knights, but they will have some easier games to ease back into form and get ready to take down the giants. the Knights will look to win all there key none top team games an hopefully they can slip into a spot were they won't need to beat both Daehanjeiguk and Valanora twice or even once to qualify. It may take a miracle, but we have beat the Daehanjeiguk many times before in frinedlies. Although these game will be vastly different, and will count at least the Knights will have a hope in the upcoming games.

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a300/WoollyLinnet/DailyHerald.jpg

Enter our World Cup Competition and win two tickets for the Finals!

All right, so our brave boys' chances are slim, but whether they make to Candelaria And Marquez or Kura-Pelland or not, you can win two tickets to the Finals.

The Holy Empire coach has announced that their team will consist of all our worst nightmares, so we asked our first XI what their phobias were. Their responses were as follows:

Steve Gray: Ailurophobia
Ben Phillips: Brontophobia.
Lewis Fox: Tomophobia.
Russell Munro: Autophobia.
Paul Paterson: Toxicophobia.
Ian Hawthorne: Nyctophobia.
Patrick Williams: Gymnophobia.
Ed French: Apiphobia.
Anthony McGowan: Taurophobia.
Martin Forster: Haemophobia.
Alun Lydiate: Cynophobia.

If you know what, in plain English, frightens our team, then phone us on 0998 601701, and you could be on your way to the Finals.

Lines are open 9:00am-5:00pm, Monday-Saturday. Competition closes at 5:00pm on 7 January. Calls typically last 3 minutes, and cost WZC 1.50 per minute. Calls from mobiles may be considerably higher.

Respectively:
Steve Gray: Is afraid of cast.
Ben Phillips: Is afraid of Thunder/Lightning.
Lewis Fox: Is afraid of Surgery/operations.
Russell Munro: Is afraid of being alone.
Paul Paterson: Is afraid of Being poisoned (Its supposed to be spelt: Toxiphobia)
Ian Hawthorne: Is afraid of the Dark.
Patrick Williams: Is afraid of Nudity.
Ed French: Is afraid of Bees.
Anthony McGowan: Is afraid of Bulls.
Martin Forster: Is afraid of Blood.
Alun Lydiate: Is afraid of Dogs.

(ooc: Damn you Daehan for beating me to the punch, But I corrected WZ's mistake, so I win :p)

Somewhere in the Northland Territory..

"And the final whistle blows from Kura-Pelland, as Candelaria and Marquez defeats Qazox 2-1 in full time. Stay tuned to QSPN1150 AM for your local sports report."

"Damnit. They can't even beat C&M in a neutral site game? This team just sucks now." An old man sitting in a weather-beaten wicker rocker muttered to himself.

"What's that honey, who sucks?" a female voice answered from the kitchen.

"Just the Pheonix. Ever since they let Ryan Greenly go this team's done nothing." the man replied. "I can do a better coaching job than that dumb bitch Joanna Davids. I told the QFA that hiring an unknown would be their downfall!"

"Come on Fernando, That's what some people said about you after Reggie Hassok died and you became the coach. And that was what, 44 years ago?" the woman replied.

"Are you saying that I'm old, dear?" Fernando Turek said, chuckling.

"No, But I know you. Even at the age of 78, you still think that you can be the Head Coach, am I right or am I right?" the woman answered.

"Suzette, You've known me for 60 years, and been married to me for 55; if you didn't know me by now, you would never ever know me." Turek replied.

"And you still use that same old pickup line you've been using for 60 years." Suzette Turek chuckled, coming into the living room.

"Well it was only a friendly any way, they don't count. Now that game at Rennidan, I'd start Benjamin Ernst instead of Raul de Olivares. Ernst's speed against Rennidan's Daniel Samman... I like Ernst's chances better. de Olivares' knees aren't as good..." Turek began.

"Honey, no coaching before Jeopardy comes on." Suzette interuppted.

"You only watch that show because of the crush you have on Kebert Xela III." Chuckled Fernando, as he turned on the TV.

World Cup 44 Qualification - Group 2
MD1: vs [42] West Zirconia (@ Munhwa Football Stadium - 65,000, Hanseong)
MD2: @ [???] Sarzonia (@ somewhere in Sarzonia?)
MD3: vs [76] Dariusville (@ Potala Palace - 34,000, Lasa)
MD4: @ [54] Liventia (@ someplace in Liventia)
MD5: vs [1] Valanora (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium - 200,000, Hangyeong)
MD6: @ [34] Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colosseum - 599,000, Atlantea?)
MD7: vs [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium - 80,000, Gwangju)
MQ: ---
MD8: @ [42] West Zirconia (@ Manchester Street, Moorcroft
MD2: vs [???] Sarzonia (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium - 50,000, Daebo)
MD3: @ [76] Dariusville (@ a monkey cage in Dariusville)
MD4: vs [54] Liventia (@ Silk Road Stadium - 56,000, Seoan)
MD5: @ [1] Valanora (@ depends on how well we play them at home...)
MD6: vs [34] Taeshan (@ Tae-majt Park - 69,000 - Pyeongyang)
MD7: @ [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ hopefully not in a beer bottle)



MBC World Special Report
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Eating Poop May Reduce Your Risk of Colorectal Cancer

HANSEONG - Researchers at the Dongguk University Medical Facility have released a new study showing the clear correlation between the consumption of fecal matter and the reduced risk of colorectal cancers (CRC), particularly of non-hereditary polyposis. The study, which included over 5000 participants with a wide variety of CRC risk factors, showed that individuals who ate poop were more likely to retain a healthier rectal lining compared to individuals who did not eat poop. Furthermore, the lifetime risks associated with CRC were also reduced.

"We were actually quite surprised with the finding," says Dr. Yu Enmi, the lead researcher on the project. "We all thought that there wouldn't be any statistically significant correlation between eating and not eating poop. I think this finding may help to re-write the principles upon which we understand what is really 'nutritious' or not, because we might be literally throwing away a treasure trove of nutritious supplements with every passing minute."

The research began following rumors that desert nomads in Shingang Province have extended lifespan because they eat the dung that comes from their livestock. Once subscribed to mere folklore and legend, the health benefits of eating camel dung may be grossly underestimated. For the past ten years, researchers followed the lifestyle habits of 5000 individuals, of which half chose not to eat camel dung, while remaining fraction supplemented their diet with 50g of camel dung (about one lump) each day. While there were no noticeable differences in health between the two groups, researchers noted that of the 2500 individuals who ate camel dung, only 50 developed non-hereditary polyposis. This contrasts to the 200 individuals in the remaining 2500 who developed non-hereditary polyposis. "Considering the average lifetime risk for developing CRC in the Han Empire is about 5%, you're looking at not only below-average incidence of CRC among individuals who ate camel dung, but also a 4 times reduced incidence of CRC compared to a well-established control group of individuals," says Dr. Yu Enmi. "That's similar to saying 80% of the people eating camel dung will have a reduced lifetime risk of developing CRC. It's really amazing!"

Well, that's all nice and dandy, but how does it taste? "It's crispy and dry, surprisingly," says Dr. Yu Enmi. "I admit, I've eaten some, and it doesn't taste as bad you'd think it would taste. Of course, it doesn't really have much a taste, but if you analyze the content the camel dung, you'll see that the majority of it is just undigested fibers. And think that that's what makes camel dung so potent. Diets rich in fiber tend show a reduced incidence of colorectal polyps, for some reasons which we are unable to explain at this time. Still, seeing that previously digested fiber can work so well... it boggles the mind."

So the doctor's recommendation? "I wouldn't go out and buy a whole bunch of camel poop just yet, but definitely think about the fiber diet," she says. "In addition to staying regular, fiber may offer you some added protection against cancer."


=== === ===

It was early, and the field was wet with dew. Pak Seongil looked at his feet, dressed with black and blue boots, and long blue socks. The Great Thunder Club was dressed in the same black and blue of the Samseong company, mostly because their managers subsidized the whole affair (as part of employee recreation expenses). The kits were really simple - a black and blue striped jersey with black shorts for the home side; and a white and blue striped jersey with blue shorts for the away side. Since they were very far away from home, they donned their away attire. Pak himself had been playing for the team since its beginning nearly three years ago, and this was only their second adventure away from Daejeon; it was the cumulating adventure to see if this amateur league really could work. Of course, the measure of success was set rather high - only a win would do.

Standing in the bleachers was the HR manager - the guy responsible for their recreation expenses - Jang Yeongmin. Pak took only one glance at the man, dressing in a stern black suit with black sunglasses. There was hardly a smile upon his face. Today meant a lot to Pak and the players; they weren't about to foil it on a simple misadventure.

The referee blew his whistle to call up the captains. Pak and Bae broke the training circle to meet with the officiating crew. It was a difficult life, trying to get professional referees to officiate over an amateur match, and much harder still to find the fair ones (at least, the ones who wouldn't penalize you). Indeed, the home advantage lay with a referee who would "favor" the home side in their calls - one of the reasons why winning away in an amateur setting was even more difficult. A home player falling down in a crowd of away defenders becomes a penalty, while an away player falling down in a crowd of home defenders is carded for "diving". The best reason to play their best "A" game.

Pak laughed as he approached the center circle. For some reason, the Pearls all wore pink and purple, as if to appear effeminate. Well, the one convenience was that the colors were all so widely different that no one could confuse the one or the other. He gazed up to the bleachers, where a man was getting seated in the presentation box - apparently they would be listening to his voice during the match. Once at the center, the referee, his linesmen, and the captains shook hands before the referee began explaining the jist of the game. "We're here for good, clean fun. I don't penalize heavily for bad plays, but slanderous plays will be given a card. No exceptions, so keep your cleats down and your slides neat. Listen to my officiating crew - no arguments over the calls, especially from the players. If anyone has a beef, let them talk to you and you come talk to me. Clear on the other rules?"

"Yes, sir."
"Yes, sir."
"Of course."

"Good. Pearls get kick off in five minutes. I will determine all of the added time with my watch. Have a good game."

Pak returned to the players as he thought out the whole scheme of the match. Who would start? Was this referee really fair? How many people were watching the match? How long could he last running? Who would be open for substitutions? Were his shorts riding his legs as far as he thought they were? How hot was it going to get? Should Yang be on the pitch starting, or Bae? He thought up the whole plan in the few seconds as he approached the team.

"Okay, it's going to be a tough contest from the Pearls. But you can see them in the hot jerseys - they win because they distract their opponents." Laughter erupted. "But seriously, keep it up high. We're being watched by Mr. Jang, so if we don't win, we'll be running in some murky water before we can think of making another trip anywhere. This is our first time here, but I've heard the gossip. Their number 10 is a speedster, so defense is going to have to watch him. And their goalkeeper is a tough SOB, miserly fellow ain't he? Well, we're going to have to get him in a giving spirit. Kim? Your shots need to be all on target today."

The team nodded in unison. Pak turned briefly to Bae before he started giving out the starting line-up. "Kim Shinyok will be our striker for the game. Wang Suncheol on left midfield; Yim Sumin on the right; Ban Geumho center left, Kim Chunjeon center right; and Shin Hongdo in center. On defense, I'll be on the center left, No Chansu center right, Kim Jeongeun left, and Min Taesei right. Yang, as always, will be stuck in goal. So if Yang ends up doing more work than we do on the pitch..." Pak gave a hesitant sigh. "We're doing something. Alright, everyone in." They all assembled in a group and puts their hands in the middle. "Great Lightning on three. One. Two. Three."

The cheer certainly electrified the atmosphere, as they all roared their team name ferociously. It certainly shocked their opponents, who made no attempt whatsoever to start a team chant or cheer. But as impressive as their feat was, Pak was still shivering cold with the fear of uncertainty. He watched Bae head back to the sideline with the rest of the team. He knelt on the ground, closing his eyes for a precious few moments remaining before the game started. Please, a win...

The whistle blew.

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SEAN: And hello from Tundra Falls, the first ever international Fanzone between Dancougar and Newmanistan! I'm Sean Spencer, and you viewers at home, you already know me as Mr. Port Royal. Joining me in the booth today, we roped this guy into being on the show, Brett Janson; say hello to Dancougar, Brett.

BRETT: Well, I'm Brett Janson, and I'll be calling the game for the Rockets today. Tundra Falls born and bred, and I'm looking forward to this.

SEAN: So Brett, you take these two teams, the Wings and the Rockets, and it might not be as marketable as, say, Starblaydia against Valanora, but they always produce a good game. Today should be no exception, why don't you walk us through the lineup?

BRETT: Absolutely, and I'll start by saying that it's unfortunate that we're down to no Mariners in the lineup, our club team of course, now that Borsinger's made way for the new guys in the back, but Brooker's still there to be the leader, and Chris Kusler - you'll get to know him in August - he's really been solid at the back and earned his shot with the first team. I like what Haynes has been doing as well. The midfield, well, Dale Stevens is the new Brett Prescott, and Parnett is the anchorman. Up front, the unstoppable J-Mac, with Carlson as the young gun.

SEAN: And a good-looking woman in Jen Vilardi.

BRETT: Well, she'd look better alongside Chris Rowen in the fall.

SEAN: Fair enough, and the Wings now. So, before the game, it looked like they weren't going to be able to get back Shishio Jinguuji and had Furuya penciled in instead, but here he is. And he's huge in the middle, huge on set pieces. Yuji Watanabe, takes some time to warm up but he makes the big saves, and Casey Berber at the back. Dylandy is the star of the midfield even if Underwood's the boss, and I like what the youngster Voronzoff's been doing on the wing. But the man who makes this lineup dangerous, best player in the world, that's Pottsy up front. Dan Potts. Now that Jenny Sloan's retired, he's the class of the D-League.

BRETT: So, it's not the first time we've seen Potts and Kusler on the field together, but it'll be interesting to see them tonight especially now that the transfer's a done deal.

SEAN: Absolutely, and let's not forget your boy LaFave, who'll be in Lakeport this fall, too. All right Brett, Bird on Skates up for grabs, who wins the game?

BRETT: Well, I don't know what you think about spirits or mojo in this place, but I'll tell you this, there's something about the ground. And it's going to make sure we're not broken down like we were in quals. It'll be 3-2, Rockets to keep the bird.

SEAN: It'll be 2-1 at the final, and it'll be the Wings, and here's why. Bigger turnover in the Rocket lineup, so they'll need more time to click and adjust. The Wings are confident, and Pottsy wants to get to thirty goals in this tournament, so he'll be ripping it all night. 2-1, and we have kickoff. This is Fanzone, the international edition, remember to send us your texts and we'll get them on the air, and we'll also take your emails, fanzone at...

**********

SEAN: ... and he's just been backing off on the side, there.

BRETT: C'mon, Kyle, you can't give him that!

SEAN: Smooth footwork, Dylandy! Get it in! Pass it, Jinguuji shooooooot.... AUGH! That close, he put it right on that inside post!

BRETT: That's Kusler, I'm telling you, he made the most of his chance and that's what he gives you. That's a great save, most 'keepers would miss that. But Carrigan has got to close down that side. He can't let those balls just come across like that.

SEAN: Watch him again on the corner.

BRETT: Get that out.

SEAN: He's got it, HE'S IN, IT'S... awwwwwww, referee, that was a foul!

BRETT: THAT'S GREAT DEFENSE!

SEAN: He's knocked him off the ball!

BRETT: That's great awareness, Lampert in midair, he's got every right to go for that ball, that's brilliant defending!

SEAN: He had the free header, Kusler was just watching it, oh that's a great chance wasted...

**********

BRETT: ... It's been rough going, it looks like they are a bit out of sync. They're not getting anyone forward. He's not had anything to do, your 'keeper.

SEAN: So that's, the thing is, I've been reading these columns and they're all worried that Watanabe's getting old, 32 years old and they're hanging him out. But he's got to have a few more good years in him, maybe this is his last cup, sure, but that's not that old. And we just paid, what, eighteen million for Kusler and he's that old. Maybe they know something we don't?

BRETT: Ah, he's fine.

SEAN: Now, at Port Royal we had Price, he was a Baptism of Fire original, and he hung it up at 35. That's still a bit young, I think, and then they were saying, well, you bought Kusler but that doesn't get you that much time. But if he gives us four, maybe five good years, that's money well spent.

BRETT: Hey, next time throw some of that money our way, we could use the...

SEAN: A~LECK~SAY!! NOOOOOO!!

BRETT: Oh, come on, defense, what are you doing?

SEAN: It's the post for Voronzoff, he's crushed it, and he's beaten Kusler, and it's turned aside!

BRETT: Are you watching this? That was absolutely horrible defending, they just backed off and let Voronzoff set that up. Challenge him, it's lucky he was leaning away when he hit that, otherwise that was in. Awful.

SEAN: It happens so fast, that's just awareness, he sees the gap and just pulls it back. He has no help, so he shoots it himself. You can't keep missing those, boys...

**********

SEAN: ... You're letting them back in it, get that ball back!

BRETT: I mean, you have to feel like the Rockets have a little extra help. You've had, what, three or four great chances that should've gone in, but here were are at nil nil, and you can tell from the way they're playing, it's perked them up. They're pushing up now and making those runs.

SEAN: Watch him, watch him.

BRETT: Shot Alex, IT'S LOOSE! IT'S JEN TO MAKE IT... NOOO, HOW'S SHE MISSED?!

SEAN: YOOOO~GEEEEEEE!! That's a spectacular save, that's it Yuji!

BRETT: How... how is that not in? It's come off him and Vilardi is right there. And she's just got too cheeky with it.

SEAN: He just threw himself at it!

BRETT: She's had the entire goal to herself and she's hit it right at him. Horrible finishing. Gotta give those to McAllister.

SEAN: It's all about missed chances, now, but it's game on. Come on, Wings!

BRETT: Where's our third striker? Vilardi's made a mess of that, and not sure Drummond would do better on his form. You've GOT to bury that...

**********

SEAN: ... Tense few minutes, still nil nil, halftime coming up, and Brett, what do you do at halftime if you're Brian Carson?

BRETT: I don't know that there's too much to be done. They've been getting pressure these last few minutes, they survived that early attack from the Wings and are back on level terms, I think you just have to make the most of your chances.

SEAN: So, I think I agree with that, it's been a close game for the past ten minutes or so. You've got back some of that momentum, you're moving the ball better...

BRETT: Watch him, he's in!

SEAN: Get that, Brad! AW, NO.

BRETT: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS!!! AAAAAAAAH~HAHA, IT'S THERE! THAT'S WHAT WE NEEDED. OOOOOH, YESSS!!

SEAN: Horrible, Leeds, what are you doing?

BRETT: There's no defending that, that's a perfect pass by McAllister. He knew he couldn't take it himself, but he saw the space. Great run by Carlson to get to that. Look at that. Oh, that's a great run. Timed it. No stopping that shot.

SEAN: I'm not sure I can ask Yuji to do anything about that, he's absolutely crushed that ball.

BRETT: I've been telling you, McAllister was going to make something happen. He's too good. Ooooh yes, put the towels away, it's our lead, one-up the Rockets, that's football for you!!

**********

BRETT: ... He's playing with confidence now, Brooker. No room for Dylandy, now. Look at that! Close it down... oooooo, referee!!

SEAN: Well, they've been looking for that equalizer for the past ten minutes, and it might pay off yet!

BRETT: That's hardly a foul, he's gone for the ball!

SEAN: He's come through the player.

BRETT: That's a cheap foul for me. You can't call that, not at that spot.

SEAN: This is Jinguuji territory again. Come on, Wings.

BRETT: Kusler will have that covered, he's seen a few of these already in the match. Dylandy's been good with the delivery, but there's just no space for him to put it. And he can't score from there.

SEAN: He's got plenty of targets. It's in, POTTSY!!!! OOOOOOOH YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHH!!

BRETT: Unbelievable.

SEAN: HE'S TOO STRONG, POTTSY! HERE WE GO BLACK WINGS, HERE WE GO! THAT'S IT, BOYS! ONE ALL!

BRETT: I can't understand how, how you let that ball fall into the box. Someone get a head on that!

SEAN: It's great chest control in the box, and he's got LaFave fouling him all the way. Look at him pull the shirt! It's a penalty and he puts it in anyway!

BRETT: You know, we deserved it, with defense like that. You can't let a forward outmuscle you in the box. Can't.

SEAN: I heard the flap, flap, flapping of the Bird on Skates coming home. That's what we need. Now close it down, boys...

**********

BRETT: ... And I've seen, so many times when these teams play, how the momentum swings so violently. You'd think a goal would push you on, it just wakes the other team up.

SEAN: No, no, Wings are too confident now. Look at them go!

BRETT: Cut that out, Parnett!

SEAN: He's got Potts again, great ball, Underwood. CRACKER!

BRETT: OH, WHAT A SAVE!!

SEAN: No way! Awwwwww... he had that, had that all the way.

BRETT: That's primetime goalkeeping from Kusler, that's why he's worth eighteen million. Look at his eyes, he has this thing all the way. We're getting absolutely overrun in midfield right now, but it's saves like that that keep you in the game.

SEAN: You know, if it's not the post, it's Kusler coming out of nowhere to get those. It's like there's a force field in front of that goal...

**********

BRETT: ... Clear that!!

SEAN: We've got to get that second goal here, we've controlled the entire second half, we're getting shots. You just have to put that in, boys! It's in... aww, what kind of cross is that?

BRETT: It's too low.

SEAN: You have Jinguuji running in, pop that up high.

BRETT: Look at that long ball!

SEAN: No, no, no, NO!!

BRETT: What a breakout! Brooker to Parnett!

SEAN: Impossible!

BRETT: McAllister... back across his body! PARNETTTTTTT!! HAHA, THAT'S DONE IT!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

SEAN: What just happened?

BRETT: That, you will never see a more superb breakout, that's just an incredible long ball by Brooker. Look at that, it hits the turf and just dies, easiest touch by Parnett to control it. And Watanabe's not even moved.

SEAN: That was... absolutely... truly, an awful break for the Wings. Unbelievable.

BRETT: I'm telling you, it's a perfect play, the spirits are with us today and they've chosen the winner. The Bird stays with the Empress, it looks too good for her to part with it yet. Oh, yes! Up the Rockets!

**********

SEAN: ... But Hayashi's been absolutely useless in the midfield, you've got to bring in Furuya at this point, Solomon Bilbao does, and push up. They can't just keep playing direct.

BRETT: Here it is Parnett, put it away.

SEAN: Stanley, step up to him!

BRETT: WHAT A HIT! OOOOOOOOOH, I thought that was in!

SEAN: GREAT SAVE, that's Yuji Watanabe, he's still got it. He's not getting beaten from there, Watanabe. The defense is on life support and he's all that's keeping this close, but we need some offense.

BRETT: They've closed it down, the Rockets, Brooker's got those Wings figured out. Nothing's coming through.

SEAN: So, at this point in the game, if you're struggling offensively, you really need to take stock and start working the ball, short passes and get some movement. But they're just blasting it deep and hoping someone brings it down. They'll never draw level that way...

**********

BRETT: ... Three minutes announced, three minutes played, take us home referee.

SEAN: Unbelievable. Where's the offense gone at the end?

BRETT: He's blown it! VICTO~RYYYYY!! Bird on Skates, baby!

SEAN: And if I'm honest, the Wings just fell apart there in the last fifteen minutes. They needed to respond to that second goal but couldn't produce anything. Too many missed chances, too many mistakes up front. Work to do for Bilbao.

BRETT: They looked good, the Rockets. It's our year.

SEAN: Bird on Skates stays, sad to say, and thanks to Brett here for helping us out. Final score, Rockets win it 2-1, this is Sean Spencer saying goodbye, you've been watching Fanzone.

______________________________________________

Dancougar News!!
Ikashita anoko wa erian (ERIAN!)

Bilbao names lineup for first qualifier: Following a 2-1 loss in Tundra Falls to the Newmanistan Rockets, Solomon Bilbao has gone to get his team ready to welcome Colbourne to the National Stadium. "We had too many missed opportunities on offense, and that simply won't cut it," said Bilbao. "We had some good movement early but I think we got frustrated in the second half and started to lose the handle. I expect us to be ready for the first match."

STARTING XI: Watanabe; Berber, Yamada, Leeds; Dylandy, Midorikawa, Underwood, Voronzoff, Landro; Potts, Jinguuji
SUBSTITUTES: Brengle; Yukikaze, Carter; Whittaker, Ingram; Furuya, Stadler

THE ROCKET REPORT

WEST ZIRCONIA VICTORIOUS

Redwood, West Zirconia- After successfully defending the Bird on Skates, the Rockets were glowing with confidence and more then ready for the critical opener to group play in Septentrionia. That is a match that may go a long way in determining whether or not Newmanistan finally gets their chance to play for the World Cup. There was this game in between though, that needed to be taken care of. Newmanistan would be headed to West Zirconia to play the winners of the 29th Baptism of Fire, but most notably our co-hosts from Cup of Harmony 35. Lifetime, the Rockets have three victories in three meetings against them, but all of those games have been in Qazox, having met in each of the past three Oxen Cups and each one seeing a sky blue and white victory. This time would be different and the result end up in favor of West Zirconia, 2-1.

From the start of the match, it was pretty clear who wanted this game more. Newmanistan was coming off the big win over Dancougar and eyeing the big showdown with Septentrionia on the road. Certainly, West Zirconia, the 42nd ranked team in the world wanted to send a message. They are in Group 2 and have a pretty tough draw with the likes of the juggernaut that is Valanora as well as Daehanjeiguk, who will always be in the mix. Like us, West Zirconia has visions on that third spot, and the team they would need to take down is Taeshan, the country that not too long ago breezed through Cup of Harmony play on the West Zirconia side before ultimately defeating them in the final at the Proving Grounds. It’s certainly one of the interesting storylines of World Cup 44 qualifying. In the first friendly, Dancougar was able to take control of midfield quite early in the match, and this is what we began to see here. Up the center, Patrick Williams and Ed French were impressive defensively as well in their containment of Alex Parnett. We didn’t see too many terrific scoring chances at the start as once the Rockets back end were up to the challenge. There was some criticism of their play in the win over the Black Wings and they were all about answering the challenge here. Not even Martin Forester of the Pocono City Capitals could generate offense as minutes ticked away with the scoreboard still reading nothing but zeroes. It was a stretch of five minutes, however, where we felt that the Rockets lost this game. A poorly defended corner kick after a routine save by Chris Kusler in the 34th minute led to a score on a header by Alun Lydiate to make it one-nil. It was LaFave’s man, but he seemed to think that Kevin Haynes was going to provide him with help underneath. While West Zirconia celebrated the score, you could see LaFave and Haynes discussing the defensive breakdown. They didn’t have the answer as in the 38th minute a brilliant cross from Ed French into the box led to a great chance for Lydiate to get his second goal. His shot was stopped, but the rebound bounced directly to Forester, and the Capital knows how to bury a chance. Just like that, we were at 2-nil, and the game was slipping away.

Naturally, Brian Carson was not to happy with the way that the first half went. It wasn’t just the two-goal deficit, it was the overall play of his team. West Zirconia had a 63-37 possession advantage in the first half and managed 9 shots on target to just three by the Rockets. There would be no way that could beat Septentrionia playing like this. As Carson came out of the tunnel, a Newmanistanian sideline reporter asked him if the team was missing the spark that Brett Prescott would always provide. Dale Stevens was out there, but he just could not do it the same way that Brett could. Prescott was on the sideline, as a substitute at the age of 39. Carson didn’t come out and say it but you wondered if he was thinking it. It was the second consecutive game that Newmanistan was clearly outplayed in the midfield.

West Zirconia didn’t exactly come out buzzing to start the second half. They seemed content to focus on playing defensively by frustrating Newmanistan in the midfield, and it worked early on. Around the 55th minute, something just seemed to click for the Rockets, Kyle Carrigan laid out a big tackle on Ian Hawthorne, and moments later even Jeremy McAllister got into it by taking down Ben Phillips, which didn’t exactly sit well in front of his home club supporters. This enabled Newmanistan to begin to have more room to use their speed, which is such an important component of the team having success. With fans getting restless, the goal was inevitable, and in the 64th minute, there it was. Interregional goal number 94 for the great Jeremy McAllister as the countdown to 100 has officially begun in World Cup qualifying. McAllister made the play with his own agility, looking like the 18-year old teen sensation he was and not the 33-year old veteran who’s about to hit triple digits. A shot fake completely forced Steve Gray to go the wrong way before J-Mac buried in the right corner. A pretty goal, but still one score down. The next fifteen minutes or so were completely dominated by Newmanistan, getting all kinds of shots on Gray but the keeper was up to the task. A 75th minute try by Jennifer Vilardi parried off the keeper’s fingertips and was on it’s way to crossing the goal line before a diving play by Russell Munro prevented the equalizer. Jennifer had thought she scored and had her arms in the air for a moment. That would make her the target of jeering from the West Zirconia crowd for the rest of the match. Brett Prescott did see action in the late stages of the match, and had an ankle crushing tackle on Martin Forster that probably made Brian Carson a little concerned. Fortuantely for Pocono City fans, Forster got right back up. The Rockets could not get the equalizer, but the second half effort where they turned around the 63-37 first half possession disadvantage to wind only wind up 51-49 in favor of West Zirconia was promising. Newmanistan had eight shots on target in the second half to just two by West Zirconia.

So ends the pre-qualifying friendly season. There’s no getting around the fact that they very first game of qualifying for Newmanistan is going to be critical. Septentrionia is the team that we need to get by in order to qualify for the World Cup. The team seems to be ready for this big encounter as we hope that this will finally be our time to earn the right to play for the World Cup.

Final Box Score:

WEST ZIRCONIA 2
Lydiate (34')
Forster (38')

NEWMANISTAN 1
McAllister (64')

Jeruselem Government News

Princesses start well winning friendlies

Under Qazian Ryan Greenly, the Princesses minus a real Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas won two friendlies.

Cassadaigua came to Jeruselem to test themselves against a real team. Cassadaigua wanted a mostly female team and Ryan sent on all females in the team for this game. Naturally the Princesses didn't play like a bunch of girls but a team of men. Dazza Dallas Stadium is the fortress of Jeruselem, and the girls beat the visitors 4-0. Joanne Sloan started the rout, with her retired sister Jenny watching from the stands. Leader Kate Sallad showed the way with her own goal, showing the opponents women aren't meek. Young Helen Clarke scored her first International goal in the 2nd half, and celebrated making weird "BAA" noises. Oksana Ferris finished off the game scoring the last goal with simple tap in after a botched save from the keeper.

Jeruselem travelled to Taeshan for a much harder game. It was a hard fight with Kylie Sho putting the Princesses ahead but the Taeshan hit back with home support. Kylie Sho, the only Sho in the team due to the retirement of cousin Flak scored the winning goal to deflate the home team.

Jeru FC took on Bears Armed and played out a draw. The team seems in good stead with new coach taking over for the real cup.

Taeshan 1 – 2 Jeruselem
Jeruselem 4 – 0 Cassadaigua
Bears Armed 2 – 2 Jeru FC

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NATIONAL FEARS REVEALED

Bostopian babies, children scared by threat of invasion
This newspaper definitely not to blame

Following on a popular trend in nations attempting to qualify for the 44th World Cup – held in Kura-Pelland and Candelaria And Marquez – the Daily Mail has asked young children - and those in Junior and Infant school, what they feared most, and have found the following based on ages.

18 months and below: Most likely to be scared by the interviewer (further research suggests that a dummy or novelty product calms the child, and makes them more easier to interview, which is when they they told us they were afraid of invasion, immigrants and nap-time.)

18 months to three years: Most likely to be scared by the 'tickle-monster', invasion, immigrants and the close of Children's BTV at 5:30pm.

Three to four years: Most likely to be scared by the commencement of school, and potential losses of safety-blankets. Remarkably, the “big slide” in the park is no fear to these brave young Bostopians, already learning their role in the defence of the Home Isles.

Four to five years: Varies by school, but most likely to be the Headteacher, or local bully.

Five to eleven years: We found they are most likely to be worried by global economic crisis, leading to a breakdown in good will between nations, and that one day Ben O'Bagels may attempt to snatch the statue of Pedro the Donkey that was allegedly stolen.

Following on from questions to young children, we asked the Royal Household what their fears were.

Her Majesty Empress Christine of Bostopia. (20, Fort Boston): “Losing my credit cards, breaking a nail, running out of un-dented frying pans.”

His Majesty Emperor Boston of Bostopia. (22, Fort Boston): “Definitely not ghosts. Ignore anything anyone says to the contrary, it's all lies, and you can't prove anything. That, and someone putting a football in my petunias.”

"Square it! Square it!" shouted the coach, "Left!"

The tall Elf, with the ball at his feet, ignored both the shout from Lex Panarii and the frantic waved arms from Romeo Oscar (http://www.nswiki.net/index.php?title=Romeo_Oscar) in the penalty area. He bought the ball inside, inviting the challenge from Petropoulos. The Nemyan, keeping his eye on the ball, decided the time was right and lunged in with a boot to swipe it away. With a smile, Valrauncion (http://www.nswiki.net/index.php?title=Valrauncion) moved the ball first one way, then another, and in two steps he was beyond the defender and into the penalty area. Oscar was side, wide open, in the perfect bit of space for a low cross, but Valrauncion only had eye for goal. Dacil Taniquentar, the Elf in the goal, was perfectly positioned and Valrauncion weighed up his options.

Bringing his right foot back, he swung it for a blistering shot, but before he made contact with the ball, the muscular figure of Nei Samba (http://www.nswiki.net/index.php?title=Nei_Samba) slid into him, taking the ball and Valrauncion's standing foot. With a yell shortly before landing in a crumpled heap on the floor, Valrauncion held his left leg and appealed for a foul. Samba stood up and booted the ball clear, out for a throw-in.

"Foul play!" Valrauncion yelled again, sitting up.

"Get up, you pansy." Samba said. He was not one to take prisoners on the pitch, even in training.

"You can't talk to me in that manner," Valrauncion said, appalled.

"Get up," came a softer female voice, "and play on." Valrauncion looked up to see Ázëwyn Fëanáro (http://www.nswiki.net/index.php?title=%C3%81z%C3%ABwyn_F%C3%ABan%C3%A1ro) standing over him, hands on her hips. He frowned at her in silent protest at Samba's challenge, but Saffi Mehzubontin had already gone across to take the throw in.

"His play is distasteful," Valrauncion said, as he got to his feet.

"As is yours," Ázëwyn said flatly, as Saffi beckoned Soronúmë towards her, "this is a team sport, and you have yet to fully grasp that fact."

"I would have scored were it not for the foul play."

"We would have scored," she replied, with more steel in her soft Elven voice than before, "had you passed it to Oscar."

"I did not trust his skills," Valrauncion defended his position in vain, "he might well have missed."

"Continue to play like that," Ázëwyn said, jogging away, "and you may have ample time to observe his skills from the substitute's bench.

"He would not dare," Valrauncion said, implying the coach, "I am the best player."

Ázëwyn did not answer the Number Ten, as play continued around him and his newly mud-stained luminous yellow training bib.

Bob Smith is at a meeting with all eight members of BAAS's governing committee...

"Congratulations to you, Bob, as well as to our team, on the result of the friendly against Jeru FC," said Karramarsar Urravarra, the chairbear both of this committee and of the club 'Dynamo Ostport. "Would you say that managing a draw against them, when they're ranked as 26th overall for this set of international contests, means that we've at least a good chance for winning against any of the lower-ranked teams? Might the Belles even be capable of drawing with, or even beating, teams with rankings much higher than that?"

"To be absolutely honest", Smith replied, "Probably not. Jeru's players were hindered a bit by being between 'permanent' coaches, and maybe by how cold it was here on that day as well, and obviously we can't count on conditions like those applying in all of our other matches too... The cold might well be a serious problem for Cafundeu's team, when we face them this afternoon, because from what little I've been able to find out their homeland seems to have a decidely warm climate, but given their record so far I'd be amazed if we even managed a draw let alone a victory and just hope that they don't defeat us so badly that they shake some of the Belles' self-confidence."

"Hrrrmmph!" snorted K. Urravarra: "Thin chance of that!
So, speaking honestly, tell us how well you really expect the Belles to fare against each of the other national teams in our 'group'..."

Bob Smith shifted in his seat, pulled a sheet of notes out from one his jacket pockets, and began the requested analysis _
"Cafundeu, the first team against we'll be playing in the qualifiers. Humans. Ranked #5 overall, very experienced as well as highly skilled, and pretty much a certainty to be one of three teams that go forwards from this group into the Cup proper. Unless the weather worsens a lot before this afternoon then, as I said -- and despite the fact that they probably don't do much playing in below-freezing temperatures -- even a draw seems more than we could reasonably hope for. The 'away' match, in their own country, I don't see even the faintest hope of a draw."

Erhan walked down the street looking for a place to go, his wife had kicked him out because he wanted to watch a football match. "Lousy wife, can't even let me have 14 games!" After hours of walking Kose Sehir's darkest streets he came across a building unlike any he had seen before with a sign saying "The happy Turk." with a picture of a local boy smiling. He walked in to see it packed out, filled with people who were clearly drunk. He walked up to the bar and a man in his 50's walked across and said in a heavy Sorthern accent "Whats the matter with you?"
"My wife kicked me out for wanting to watch the match."
"Well if you like we got a live feed here you can watch."
"Really. Wow what is this place"
"This" The man said proudly. "Is a pub."
"A what!?"
"A place where people drink and play darts and watch football, haven't you been outside of this country?"
"No never, well once for a football match but never again."
"Well can I interest you in a drink?"
"Yeah I'll have some Cay."
"No sorry only alcoholic drinks here, none of your Turkic Tea." The man shouted, as many of the other Sortherners laughed on.
"Fine some of this Beer you serve." Erhan Sighed.
"Sure thing sir" The man chirped.
"Sir! Wow you'd have to beat that kinda respect out of a Turkish man, I think I'm going to like it here." The man served him his drink and the time for the match fast approached.

"Next up for us to play is 'Yafor 2'," Bob continued. "Ranked #14 overall. More humans, I think, and their teams' roster has already been made public, but that's all I know about them. Going by how highly they're rated, maybe -- just maybe, and especially if they don't like very cold weather either -- a draw here, but probably a loss rather than a draw when we go to them... although of course I'll still tell the girls to try winning anyway.
And that's what will probably be our toughest two sets of opponents: Having to face those two teams one after the other won't be fun, althoughat least we'll have the 'home field' advantage -- and 'home crowd' advantage -- in both cases.

Then our first away match of the contest, against 'Prux' -- ranked at 30th overall -- and their blasted zombies. They desecrated the graves of some very good players to obtain those walking corpses, but at least those "footballers" seem to have lost some of their former skills and fitness by now. Considering the draw against Jeru, we could realistically hope to draw against them, too, and you said that you'd got a special plan or two lined up for that match into the bargain?"

"Yes," replied the committee's deputy chairbear, Marra o BerryGlades, who is a member of the High Council of Clans (the country's national government) and present here as that body's official voice. "We have spoken to the leaders of the Great Medicine Society, who agreed that the Pruxian choice of team is an abomination against Mother Nature and the Great Bear, and they have agreed to send a number of powerful shabears to the match: These will work rituals, sheltered amongst our ordinary supporters there, to try and banish the spirits animating those bodies to where they really belong or at least, if that doesn't work, to render them less effective as players in some other way...
Furthermore, the Ravens whom we sent to Prux as scouts -- as we sent others of their kindred to each of the other lands whose teams the Belles are scheduled to face -- have already sent a first report back, and they say that certain of the local , non-sapient birds might be persuaded to help themselves to that carrion if suitable opportunities arise..."

"Next, and rather more pleasantly, 'Myedvedeya'... against whom we'd already arranged to play a friendly match at the halfway break in these qualifiers, anyway. You've been able to tell me quite a lot about them as a nation, and I've found out a bit about their actual team as well. For one thing, it looks as though -- despite being nicknamed 'the Bears' -- it looks as though most if not all of their players are actually humans rather than members of the Ursine element in that nation's population. They won the previous 'Baptism of Fire', and then played in the qualifiers for the last World Cup, performing well enough to get ranked at 55th overall... which puts them about halfway between us and Jeru FC in the lists... Looking at the situation objectively (OOC: and not knowing[/i] IC about the rankings' effects on chances of success...) they're probably a bit better than the Belles but not by much. Winning one or the other of our qualifying games against them looks rreasonably possible, although they'll be used to cold weather and presumably to Ursine opponents as well, winning both a lot less likely. On the plus side, as the friendly match is going to be at their stadium it will give the Belles some experience there before the 'away' qualifier."

"And then 'The Blouman Empire'. Ranked 39th overall, probably human, and that's all I've been able to find out so far. Maybe a win and a draw, a win and a loss, two draws, or at least a draw and a loss: I'm not promising two wins, against a team with that ranking, but am hopeful that we'll manage to avoid two losses."

"And after that, 'Brightonburg'. Another team that's probably all-human. No ranking at all for transregional games, yet, because this is their first Cup and they missed the B.o.F. but -- looking at how well we've done so far and so quickly ourselves -- I would advise against underestimating them because of that. Apparently they're from the same region as at least one of the other teams involved, and those have let slip that this nation has a good record in regional contests..."


(OUT OF TIME, FOR TODAY...)

"So how do you feel about your team, supposedly made of the best players in Draistania, losing to a team of movie stars and non-professionals?" asked a smirking reporter from Popular Sports Network as they left the stadium.

Sean was angered by this, he wanted to tell this guy off, but he managed to just smile and say, "They are still athletes no matter what their profession. Maybe we got a little vain, thinking that we are better than them. I can assure you that that mistake will not be made again, especially not in the World Cup.

Besides, that was our first time playing as one team together. Now we are better prepared for the next game. That is what friendlies are all about for us at this stage, finding out our strengths. A lot was accomplished out there, and we know exactly what we are going to do out there next time."

There were still a couple of people laughing from the media, Cameron Pollens suddenly jumped out of the line and attacked the news reporter. Coach Dastrin and several of his team mates quickly ran over and dragged him away. Even in that small amount of time, the news reporter already had a broken nose and a busted lip.

The cameras were still rolling and the camera man yelled, "That is going on the news too, we'll show how "professional" you really are!"

When they were back on the bus, Sean reprimanded Cameron strongly for his actions and told him that he would spend the next day running laps.

"Should I take him off of the roster for the next game?" Assistant Coach Dawner asked.

"No," said the coach quietly with a grin on his face, "not if we don't have to. We finally have achieved some popularity and interest from the people with that fight, not to mention Pollens is going to play his next game a lot better and with more ferocity now that he's angry. I just hope that some of it passes on to the other players. We must intimidate the other teams if we want to gain much ground."

Here comes a candle, to light you to bed
And here comes a chopper, to chop off your... er... Matchday One RP cut-off...

Okay. Maybe I'm just not made for comedy cut-offs. We can't all be.


And here your Matchday One scores be. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14361577&postcount=3)

Woodstock Daily Mail

Stars open qualifying effort with draw
By Travis West
Daily Mail Staff Writer

In Sarzonia's first official World Cup qualifying match since World Cup XXX, the Stars were not expected to do much. After all, they lost 0:4 at home to sixth ranked Starblaydia and played world No. 29 Krytenia to a drab 0:0 draw.

However, Sarzonia rebounded against No. 76 Dariusville, getting a Matt Lynch goal in the 82nd minute to salvage a 1:1 draw in front of a crowd of 64,238 at Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium in Woodstock.

"It was good for us to get out there after playing two top-30 sides in friendlies," Manager Brian Wilson said. "It was a bit of a relief to play against a side that wasn't among the world's elite in a match that counted. We saw a few good signs out there."

The Stars got off to a rough start in their match against No. 76 Dariusville at home, trailing 0:1 just three minutes in after goalkeeper Cody Taylor's attempted clear hit forward Fidwah "Burning Man" Iit's lowest right branch and caromed into the goal. The Stars played like a stunned team for the next 10 minutes, unable to generate many chances.

Finally, forward Zack Wilson snapped the Stars out of their funk with a well timed counter attack run. Even though he shot wide of goalkeeper Prandhir, his 14th minute run gave the Stars new life.

"We finally figured out we had the speed advantage," Zack Wilson said. "We were able to generate some chances with ball movement and speed."

Those chances didn't lead to goals, however. Sarzonia fired 21 shots, including nine on Prandhir, but he was equal to the task on eight. Dariusville used its size to close off many of Sarzonia's runs, shutting down its midfield until Brad Tremblay came in for defender Ted Philyaw in the 62nd minute. Sarzonia adopted a 3-5-2 formation as a result and seemingly created more chances.

Finally, Zack Wilson ran onto an attempted clear by Prandhir, drew two defenders, then deftly passed to Lynch, who chipped the ball over Prandhir's left root and into the goal.

"I'll take it," Lynch said of his first World Cup qualifying goal. "We needed that after not being able to score in either of two friendlies." Including the 180 minutes of the two friendlies, Sarzonia had not found the net in 262 minutes, but Lynch's tally sent the remnants of the Marshall Stadium crowd into a frenzy.

When the final whistle sounded, the Stars celebrated with handshakes and high fives, not the wild celebrations some expected from a team that most figured didn't have a chance to earn even a single standings point. However, Brian Wilson said his team would take a businesslike approach to the rest of qualifying.

"We expect to be the hardest working side in World Cup qualifying," he said. "That doesn't change with one draw against a team that could be a darkhorse. What does change is that we now have the monkey of not having scored off our backs."

Sarzonia face 11th ranked Daehanjeiguk at Bryan Marshall Stadium in Woodstock for their second World Cup qualifying match. For Brian Wilson, the match spells one thing.

"Trouble," he said. "They're an elite side. For us to get a result, we not only have to play well, but they have to play poorly. Not only that, but we have to get all the breaks in our favour."

Regardless of what happens in that next match, the Stars at least got off on the right foot.

http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/7993/dailyturkjo0.png

Wentland 1 – 1 Koseli Cumhuriyetler
Super Sub Striker Ties Game!
The Turks have made their return to the international stage with a gritty, tough and ultimately rewarding performance as they showed number 16 in the world that the Turks are back and they aren't pushovers. Although the Turks first half performance was dreadful and they could easily have been 8-0 down were it not for some heroic defending from Arif and some top class keeping from Orhan especially at one on one's. Despite the barricades that were put up by those two the Wentlanders got through on 43 minutes after a lob from the edge of the area.

The team came out of half time with a more open style flooding the box and almost broke through on 65 minutes when Serkan missed an easy chance from the six yard box. The later the game went on the closer the Turks came to an equalizer and rocked the crossbar 3 times from successive Sinan Kose efforts, then in the 89th minute a sub came on to replace Sinan, not Sabri's brother Necati but 17 year old Gokhan, and with a last roll of the dice Sabri crossed low and hard into the area and Gokhan fired into the roof of the net in the 92nd minute of the game.

Around the Group
Bazalonia 5 – 0 Bactrian Camels
An expected result to say the least. Should leave the Camels better prepared to face us at home, however I don't think they received the 'Welcoming' that we Turks are famous for.
Solenial 1 – 3 Demot
A solid away performance from Demot
Syktyvkar 2 – 1 Arroza
A minor shock in the group.

It isn't very often that a hypercompetitive coach can walk into a press conference after his team lost 2-1 and smile.

However, that's exactly what Coach Chris Hannan was doing after his team lost 2-1 at Tynelia in their first-ever World Cup qualifying game.

"We made a long trip from Rymeria to Earth on the RSV Hera," Hannan said. "We think we'll probably take Arroza up on their offer of a "home away from home" rather than have to subject ourselves to long space flights between matches."

"However, being aware of Secristan's stated desire to ride the Hera to Rymeria City, we'll travel to Rymeria for that match," he said.

As for the game itself, the Rhinos dented the scoreboard first in the 23rd minute when midfielder Erik Dumfries found a streaking Mike Lester in the Tynelian box with a cross. Lester skied into the air and headed the ball into the net past the Tynelian keeper for a 0:1 lead.

The crowd at Tynelia's national stadium was stunned silent and remained so until the home side equalized in the 79th minute with a header off a corner kick. Ten minutes later, defender Jeff Aston's attempted clear caromed off the junk of a Tynelian midfielder. The team's withdrawn forward quickly stabbed at the ball and it bounced slowly into the net past Matt Peters for the winning tally.

"We had our chances," Hannan said. "Having said that, I'll take the effort we put out there anytime."

Respectively:

(ooc: Damn you Daehan for beating me to the punch, But I corrected WZ's mistake, so I win :p)

[Equally OOC: I'll RP the results and winners when I get time, but just thought I'd let you know that either spelling is acceptable. :p ]

Knights Defeat O Ale Ale Behind Impressive Defensive Play

]As expected the Purple Knights walked of the field yesterday after a one to nil victory over the young, unknown team from O Ale Ale. The O Ale Alenes are expected by amny to finish last in the group, and even though the game was only a one point affair everyone knew the Knights controlled everything, and the Aliens weren't gaining an inch all day. The Knights easily won in there home Purple Jerseys, And showed the Aliens how to play.

The Knights took control from the opening, keeping unending hold on the ball, and showing the Aliens how to play. It was extremely easy, and the Knights knew it. thy toyed with the Aliens all day and kept them in dismay. they passed the ball with prescision and didn't try to attack all game knowing the game was a synch. Brian Ying Uing back for his first game off of his suspension scored the only goal in the 87th minute, and although they controlled the game, the Knights fans breathed a sigh of relief as they walked away with a late victory.

Dancougar News!!
Mmmmm, 10 gigs of Harlock.

Off to the right start: After shaking off a tough loss to the Newmanistan Rockets - a phrase which has been oft-uttered given their friendly record - Solomon Bilbao's men rallied to take three points in Yuki City by defeating Colbourne 3-1. In what was a game riddled with chances, Dancougar made the most of theirs, and goalkeeper Yuji Watanabe took care of the rest.

The Wings needed to pull away in the second half after Colbourne kept it close, but the team started to move downhill and did all the little things they failed to do against the Rockets. "We had better off-the-ball movement and were more patient in possession," said Bilbao. "There are things that we looked at in the game tape after the friendly and tried to address on the practice field."

Looking for a fast start, the Wings pushed forward looking for the opening goal and took a few early shots. None looked particularly threatening, but they were just trying to send a message to Colbourne that the offense was finding openings and it would be a matter of time before their breakthrough. Goalkeeper Rick Sutton looked calm under fire, though, and only had to stretch himself to make one of his three early saves. That seemed to spark the rest of his team into action, leading to Julius Ibrahim's 13th minute strike into the belly of Watanabe.

Minutes later, in the 16th, that confidence seemed broken when Shishio Jinguuji made it 1-0 on a header. Alexei Voronzoff, who had a miserable game in Tundra Falls when he hit the post twice in a span of minutes, picked out the towering forward with a cross from near the goal line. It crossed the face of goal and Jinguuji nodded it down. Sutton never moved, and probably expected more of the defense. The next few minutes saw more chances for the Wings, and Colbourne got tricky. They, too, had seen the tape from the Newmanistan game, and attempted to catch the Wings asleep with a long-ball breakout. This time, though, the Wing defense was prepared, and Casey Berber was able to head it away and give the rest of the team some time to fall back.

But even when you think you're doing everything right, football still presents opportunities for things to go awry. In the 31st minute, Watanabe pulled down an easy save and punted it upfield. Carlos Guevara won it in the air and headed it back into the Dancougar third. Central defender Musashi Yamada went up to head it back but made a critical blunder. He misjudged the flight and the ball came off the back of his head and bounced straight at Ibrahim, who was lagging behind the play. He was kept onside by Berber, so a quick turn saw him with a free run at goal. Watanabe ran out to cut down the angle, but Ibrahim coolly slipped it between the 'keeper's legs for the equalizer.

"It's a ridiculous error," said Yamada, Jinguuji's teammate at Central United in Cafundeu. "I still don't know how I missed that header."

The score did not change before halftime, although the Wings looked like their confidence had been rattled a bit. Colbourne's offense started to click and tried to step up the pace of the game, forcing midfielder Dwayne Landro to withdraw into the back third. That ensured that Colbourne's strikers didn't get any open looks, but Watanabe was forced to make a big save just before the break, when Dan Barret fired a rocket from 25 yards away that was on target for the the top left corner.

The second half, though, was a different story. From the opening kickoff, the Wings looked refreshed. Within three minutes of the restart, they'd regained the lead. Voronzoff found Dan Potts at the top of the box, but rather than try to turn for a shot, Potts controlled the ball and then slipped the ball behind him for Voronzoff, who'd continued his run. Voronzoff slotted it in from ten yards away to make it 2-1, and suddenly the Wings were back in business. Potts tried to make it three in the 54th, but alert goalkeeping from Sutton kept him out.

Colbourne could feel the game slipping, and with half an hour to go, made an offensive substitution by bringing in midfielder Joey Harmse for defender Pablo Velez, switching up to a 3-4-3. At first, the change looked good. They enjoyed a spell of possession but were unable to find any openings in the defense. Kevin Underwood went on the defensive out of the midfield, and most long passes were getting picked off before any Colbourne forwards could get a foot to it. Ibrahim did have a good look from the top of the box in the 67th, but he belted it over the bar.

The Wings put the game away in the 75th. The Wings strung together a series of passes as they picked their way through the Colbourne defense, and Kazuki Midorikawa was fouled 22 yards away from goal, earning his side a dangerous free kick. Colbourne pulled back to defend it, but Dylandy liked the angle and decided to take it himself. He sent it screaming around the wall and Sutton dove late. It had the right amount of curl and crashed into the back of the net for 3-1, and the dejected look on Sutton's face had to mirror the thoughts of the rest of the team.

With fifteen minutes to go, Colbourne still had plenty of time. But the ease of Dylandy's free kick goal had the Wings cruising. They closed the game down by killing the ball in the midfield and passing it around aimlessly. They took a crack or two late, but the focus was just on control. Colbourne had one more good look, a long shot by Guevara in the 88th that Watanabe calmly knocked to his feet.

Group Six roundup: The best pairing of the round saw Qazox travel to Rennidan and pick up an impressive 2-1 road win, as the Phoenix will look to rebound from a disappointing group-stage exit in World Cup 43. The most entertaining, though, was a six goal thriller in St Samuel. In a matchup of newcomers, St Samuel and Akbarabad drew 3-3, and if they can continue the offensive fireworks, they could spring a few surprises. In the other match, Kelssek got the expected result against Operata, a 2-0 road win.

Bilbao announces matchday two lineup: The Wings travel to Kelssek for an immediate road test. Kelssek's name has been bandied about as a possible qualifier out of group six, and if they're going to make it happen, they need to take points from the Wings in this one. They've certainly got the talent, with a pair of Cafundeu-based midfielders in Ian Colwyn and Vincent Arsenault feeding the fury of striker Ian Sinclair. And we're eager to see Port Royal teammates Dan Potts and Alexandre Tremblay go head-to-head.

Bilbao's made a few changes, but hasn't dipped into his reserve pool yet. Musashi Yamada, whose gaffe cost the Wings a clean sheet against Colbourne, will sit in favor of fellow big man Stanley Carter. Dwayne Landro will sit in favor of Benjamin Whittaker, who will take a more defensive role than he's used to and is figures to play 65-70 minutes. Shiro Furuya will get the start over Shishio Jinguuji. Furuya has quietly developed into a top forward, as evidenced by his transfer to A.F.F. in Cafundeu, and Bilbao says he deserves some playing time after languishing on the bench for most of his previous World Cups.

STARTING XI: Watanabe; Berber, Carter, Leeds; Dylandy, Midorikawa, Underwood, Voronzoff, Whittaker; Potts, Furuya
SUBSTITUTES: Brengle; Yamada, Yukikaze; Landro, Ingram; Jinguuji, Stadler

[OOC: I didn't realise/remember that I was to play Krytenia in a pre-qualifying friendly. My apologies. I figure I'll acknowledge it with this RP post. Taking you back in time a little bit.]

The following is an excerpt from the diary of Sarzonia forward Matt Lynch.

Dear Diary,

We just finished playing a scoreless draw against Krytenia. The match was supposed to be the final tuneup before World Cup qualifying begins Sunday against Dariusville.

This match was one of the most frustrating I've ever been through. We had chances to score goals and we'd shoot high or wide. Or Schlüssel, their keeper, would make highlight-reel saves on us. I really wish I could have that free kick in the 82nd minute back. It got over the wall but Schlüssel made one of the best dives I've seen a keeper make in a while.

Defensively, we didn't get tested all that much. I think they played their second choice side against us. For some reason, Coach Wilson wants our starting 11 out there even in friendlies. He said he'll give the depth players a chance to play, but I think he's probably too competitive for that to happen. And speaking of coach, I'm thinking he's going to blow a fuse before long no matter how bad we play.

I understand a young team sometimes needs a taskmaster, but I don't think this team does. We have a great workrate. As far as I know, all the players follow the rules. Thing is, it's never good enough. I know he was the greatest player in Sarzonian history, but he certainly doesn't show much patience for those who have less talent than he did. Or still does. I'm convinced if he could don a kit and play, he would.

Onto this next match against Dariusville, we don't know much about that team except for the fact they are -- get ready for this -- sentient trees. Coach is saying we can take advantage of our speed, but I don't know. I never signed up to play against a bunch of trees. At least we're not playing a bunch of bears.

Until next time,

ML

Lynch closed his diary and buttoned the strap to secure it. He then opened the drawer in his nightstand and shut it.

World Cup 44 Qualification - Group 2
MD1: 2-0 vs [42] West Zirconia (@ Munhwa Football Stadium - 65,000, Hanseong)
MD2: @ [???] Sarzonia (@ Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium - 88,920, Woodstock)
MD3: vs [76] Dariusville (@ Potala Palace - 34,000, Lasa)
MD4: @ [54] Liventia (@ someplace in Liventia)
MD5: vs [1] Valanora (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium - 200,000, Hangyeong)
MD6: @ [34] Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colosseum - 599,000, Atlantea?)
MD7: vs [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium - 80,000, Gwangju)
MQ: ---
MD8: @ [42] West Zirconia (@ Manchester Street - 85,000, Moorcroft)
MD2: vs [???] Sarzonia (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium - 50,000, Daebo)
MD3: @ [76] Dariusville (@ a monkey cage in Dariusville)
MD4: vs [54] Liventia (@ Silk Road Stadium - 56,000, Seoan)
MD5: @ [1] Valanora (@ Hatire Memorial - 60,000, Capri)
MD6: vs [34] Taeshan (@ Tae-majt Park - 69,000, Pyeongyang)
MD7: @ [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ hopefully not in a beer bottle)



MBC World Cup Special Report
http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t156/daehanjeiguk/news.png

Match Against West Zirconia Interrupted by Rowdy Fans

HANSEONG - The play started on time that night, when in the 17th minute, two individuals were apprehended by Imperial Authorities for attempting to lodge a number of items onto the field while nude during a staged power outage, including a beehive, a dog, a cat, and a bag of blood from a local transfusion center. The individuals were quickly and quietly apprehended after authorities placed empty rice bags over them. Fortunately, no fans were injured, and players were not likewise harmed by the event. Unfortunately, it seems that the West Zirconian players were not completely immune to the effects, and soon after the events conceded a goal by Kim Daeeui off a corner.

The police investigating the incident reported that the individuals were acting delusional, suggesting that they were trying to help the Imperial Team to victory by psychologically attacking the West Zirconian players. No complaints from the WZFA have yet arrived, but police are expecting remarks soon noting that the interrupted play did lead to a conceded goal soon after the police took control of the scene. However, Imperial authorities are likely to note that the final goal of the match - a 20 meter lob by Baek Jihun - was likely an event independent of the interrupted activity earlier in the match, and thus that the incident did not likely contribute to the loss suffered by the WZ national team on Han soil. Still, it didn't burn out the sorrow of the multitude of visiting WZ fans, who made their protests known in peaceful activities. No further incidents were reported for the evening after the two individuals were escorted from the stadium.

Han Win First Qualifying Match Against West Zirconia, 2-0

Eh, remember the time when you could have little bumper-sized flags lining the title of your articles? Well, apparently someone forgot to update the software and subsequently canceled our subscription to the service, so now we're stuck with this blank white space with no fancy flags between it (we could do it ourselves, but that's way too much work). Anyway, you don't need fancy flag borders to tell you who won the match - the Han overpowered the West Zirconian side in an evenly-met contest. You'd expect that the 11th ranked side would have no trouble beating up the 42nd ranked side, but it seems that after a disappointing friendly preparations, the West Zirconians were the more eager of the two sides. After the kick-off, it was Pak Gyuseon's aberrant shot that gave the ball to the WZ side and Forster made a mad dash to goal that only Kim Jongguk managed to tip aside. The ensuing corner kick forced yet another save, this time collected firmly in Kim's clutches. The Han, now aware of their opponent's energy, started a more conservative style, using a strong defense to hold the ball and force the openings. It nearly fell apart as Kim Yongji left the ball out too far, and Forster had yet another chance, only missing the shot as Kim Jingyu honed in for a block. The corner kick put the team on nerves as An Pilrip cleared the ball out to Kim Daeeui, who darted down the pitch. He made the cross out to Pak, but the goalkeeper managed to stick his hand out to punch it away.

5 minutes down, 85 to go. Wow, that was intense, and it stayed pretty much at high speed for much of the first half too. West Zirconia got a heated 10 shots, 4 on goal, while the Han managed a measly 5 shots, 3 on goal. If you wanted to say who was going to win this, you'd bet your money on West Zirconia at the half. But owing to a 17th minute interruption by some fans, Kim Daeeui was able to get a shot on goal, with Gray deftly blocked aside. The ensuing corner kick, however, proved too much, and Kim Daeeui got his head behind the ball, and it flew to the top right corner, a ball too far to reach - 1-nil after 21 minutes (and of course, 2 of the 3 on target shots of the first half).

Ioshido Toki, seeing that the game was turning rather one-sided (and with nothing to prove that the Han were the better half), he made a few substitutions, opting for Jeong Jihun in Pak Gyuseon's spot and Yang Manchun for Yi Beomsuk. Surprisingly, the West Zirconian had slowed their pace considerably, choosing to play more for possession than for goals. Compare the first five minutes of the first half - 5 shots by WZ, 2 shots by the Han - and contrast it to the first five minutes of the second half - 0 shots, period - and you'll get the feeling that fans had. Some felt justified to leave their seats after the 49th minute, but not long after, the Han made some brilliant football - Song Jongguk lofted the ball high over to Jeong Jihun. Most people might have expected a pass back to Baek Jihun, but Jeong played a fabulous trick, dribbling past both Fox and Munro, and had only Gray to beat. He passed the ball back to Yi Yeongpyo, who crossed the ball to Kim Daeeui, who left the ball standing out for An Pilrip. It would have made a fantastic goal, if only Gray didn't stop the ball out, reaching practically for his life with the tips of his fingers and letting the ball rattle past the post for a corner. The Han were certainly beating the tactical wits out of the opposition, but aside from one goal, the West Zirconian defense was holding out resiliently.

The fans - many disappointed now to have missed the excellent play and save - came back their seats around the hour (hey, if you leave your chair at the same time everyone else does, don't expect to be back soon!, especially in a crowd of some 60,000 people...), to watch Hawthorne and Bennett (subbed on for Lydiate) make their own spectacular play for West Zirconia; only Kim Jongguk's head managed to keep them from making their spectacular play a spectacular goal. It was perhaps the highlight of the day - spectacular offense meets an incredibly dull and stubborn defense. I think most fans would have walked away happy with a 4-2 scoreline (because the plays were excellent), but that stubborn defense was keeping it an extremely tight and tense affair. And you would have expected it to stay 1-nil through the end, but just as the minutes were winding down, exhaustion apparently came out, and with one sub remaining, Ioshido sent on An Yeonghak for Go Jeongun; what difference would that make?

Everything. The minute he came on, the Han were suddenly invigorated. The West Zirconian looked to play his own substitutes, but with the way that the Han played, Baek Jihun had already made his long-distance call - a 20 meter shot that crept high into the far corner, bordering the posts and the goalkeeper's hands practically - to seal a good win for the Han in the 87th minute. The electrified Han fans shouted and cheered, even as the WZ strikers made their last effort on Kim Jongguk. And it remained feisty and loud for the remaining 3 minutes of added time, and though both West Zirconia and the Han made their charges strong to the end, it wasn't enough to break the final score: 2-0.

The Han now travel away to Sarzonia, who made their WCQ debut against Dariusville in a 1-1 draw. Analysts expect another tough match, as the Han get top competitive form, having missed the opportunity to practice in friendly matches. Meanwhile, Sarzonia will be looking for their first win in as many years (mostly because they haven't been playing internationally...). In other WCQ Group 2 action, Valanora beat Liventia 2-0 away, while Taeshan sneaked a late goal to win 1-0 over O Ale Ale.


=== === ===

The whistle blew.

Pak Seongil saw a quick flash and not long after the crowd cheering. The whistle blew again. He checked his watch - 5 seconds. Yang picked the ball from the back of the net and handed it to Pak. "That bastard is quick," he said. Pak nodded. "Yep." He kicked the ball upfield where Kim Shinyok was waiting to kick-off again. The whistle blew again to start up play once more. Kim passed back to Shin Hongdo, who held the ball. TOO LONG! #10 came rushing forward, stealing the ball and not much longer, he struck the ball. The whistle blew again.

Pak checked his watch again - 36 seconds. This was turning foul rather quickly. Yang handed him the ball again. "That bastard is %$#^ %$#^ quick." Pak nodded again. "Yep," he said as he kicked the ball upfield again. Kim Shinyok passed back to Shin again, who passed it immediately to Ban Geumho. It didn't matter. #10 got the ball all the same and struck the ball. The crowd lined up for another cheer, but instead saw that Yang had caught the ball. Firmly. It wasn't a tip, or a deflection, but firm catch. "%$#^ bastard," he muttered under his breath as the #10 went back for another opportunity. Yang dropped the ball to his feet, and passed it to Pak. Pak turned quickly, seeing that #10 was rushing him. He quickly out to No Chansu, who dribbled up a little bit. #10 was quick though and tackled him harshly. Pak expected to see a whistle, but instead #10 closed in for the kill, only to see Yang sweep the ball from under his feet.

The referee blew the whistle and pointed to the spot. Pak was furious - only 3 minutes and a penalty called after one of his own players was savagely tackled. He approached the referee.

"One of my players was tackled," he said.

"The player caught the ball," the ref replied.

"The player also caught my man. That's at least a yellow card."

"Son, it wouldn't be prudent to challenge my decision."

"And you're going to call a penalty for my goalkeeper sweeping the ball?"

"He tackled the player."

"Forget it." Pak returned to the line, obviously noting that the referee was not going to be friendly. The crowd was all against them, even their HR manager sitting there lackadaisically and uninterested in the whole affair. Pak approached Yang only briefly to whisper in his ear - "this isn't going to be easy or nice." Yang whispered back, "You figured?" Pak smirked as he went to the line amidst the referee's blowing whistle. Pak could hardly watch as #10 lined up for a penalty shot against Yang. It should have been an easy 3-0, but somehow, Yang kicked the ball out and away. Pak rushed to the ball, but #10 caught it first. Just how fast was this guy? It was like he was pumped up on some juice that made him almost unhumanly fast. Well, either that or everyone else was just slow. He thought about that for only one second, because the next second, he collected the ball on his forehead as #10 dribbled around him and made a shot, deflected aside and out for a corner kick.

He woke up a second later, to the hands of his teammates. Kim Jeongeun held his hand out and lifted Pak up. "You alright?" he asked. Pak shook his head only briefly. "I think."

Kim smiled, "Good, 'cause we've got a corner to defend and you're on the post." Pak nodded, still shaken by the attack to his head. He could feel his nose was starting to bleed, but he didn't want it to show. The referee might have pulled him off the field for that. Instead, he snorted up the blood and swallowed it, hoping that that was all. The Pearls came up with a large exodus in force, probably to screen out for #10. But Pak had his eyes out for #10 and waited for the cross. Their #14 provided the cross, and #10 came to hit the ball on the head, just as Pak got his ball on the other side of the ball. The two landed on the pitch, practically knocked out. The referee wasn't certain what to call, but the linesman was at least an honest fellow - "They both hit the ball." Nonetheless, Yang grabbed the ball from the fest and kicked out of bounds farther upfield, and after the referee blew the whistle, he helped Pak keep his head up.

"Are you okay?"

"I think so..."

"You're knocking your head awfully early, Pak," Yang replied. "We need to stick up with the team, not bang horns with this kid. Come on."

"I'm just blocking the ball," Pak replied, stumbling to his feet.

"Well, block the ball with any other part of your body, but not your head. Leave the savings to me."

The referee came right over and questioned to the two. "Captain, are you alright?"

"Yes," Pak replied.

"Are you alright?" he asked #10. He simply nodded yes. "I said to keep this clean. It's just a game, and I doubt anyone wants to visit the hospital over this."

"No, sir," Pak said as the referee pointed to the linesman, who held the spot where the ball went out. As the Pearls began a throw-in, Pak muttered to himself, "we have got to get on the other side of the field." #10 got the ball and started to dash to the goal once more. No Chansu intercepted deftly, passing the ball out to Ban Geumho, who passed it straight up to Min Taesei before the referee blew the whistle. Pak saw #10 lying on the field wringing in pain; he could only think that No was getting a red card. The referee reached for his pocket and held out a yellow card. Pak wanted to argue, but he knew that at this point it was only going to be farce. He'd get a yellow card for arguing with the ref, and that bastard #10 would get a free kick from some 26 meters out from goal. Yang might stop the goals, but they were still two down and a long way to go to get to the other side.

Pak watched the ref approach No, who helped #10 get to his feet. And as he stepped closer, the referee held his yellow out plainly for everyone to see - but he aimed it at #10. WHAT? The crowd booed, and Pak could see the other captain shooting up the field to the referee, ready to argue with him. But the linesman upheld the referee - diving was the call, and unsportsmanlike conduct was the final verdict. The referee was getting ready to call a card on the Pearls captain, but he backed away before it got too hot. Perhaps this referee wasn't as bad as he had thought... and the clock was running at 6 minutes.

Pak met with Yang before the free kick was getting set out, just to share a few words. "The referee may be a bit more fair than we had thought."

"I'd agree," Yang replied. "But I don't want to test that theory just yet."

"He gave their star striker a card for diving. That's fair..."

"Or just a warning," Yang said.

"Yeah..." Pak stepped away to let Yang take the kick. It was a spirited kick down the right side, where Yim Sumin collected the ball and darted down the flank. He managed to get halfway through the opponent's half, but #10 managed to rush him and steal the ball, sending it forward to another teammate. Wang Suncheol tried to stop him, but the #8 proved too witty for that time. He rushed past Kim Jeongeun, and was quickly approaching the goal flank. He made a cross to the now present #10, but Pak leaped high to head ball out for another corner kick. Pak calmly took his place by the post, watching carefully for #10 again. #14 took the cross again and led a short one to #6, who darted the ball towards goal. Before #10 could get his foot to the ball, Yang grabbed it and took the ball firmly.

Pak watched as Yang lobbed the ball over to Yim Sumin. He again took the ball down the line and crossed it over to Kim Shinyok at the top of the box. From a great distance, he made a great shot that their goalkeeper managed to keep out. Still it was a great win for them - first shot of the game! Pak relished in the short moment that was their joy, but the moment that the goalkeeper punted the ball down the field, he realized that #10 was coming his way once more. He stood between the ball and the goal once more. Chances were that he'd get his head pummeled once more.

#10 turned aside and moved around Pak, but not before Pak managed to slip his foot between his legs and knocked the ball out of the way. #10 hardly noticed that the ball was gone before he tried to make a shot, but by then, Min Taesei had kicked the ball out to Kim Chunjeon. #10 seemed frustrated by then, but returned to the midfield where he tried to steal the ball from Kim. #4 managed to get in the way, however, and passed the ball to him. #10 again approached Pak, but rather than confront him directly, he chose to lob the ball in the air. Pak tried to reach it, but the ball flew over him. Now the ball was going to goal and #10 was at clear advantage. Pak tried to stall him without touching him, but as they neared the ball, #10 pushed him aside and to ground, leaving him clear on goal. But... Yang had grabbed the ball by then. Pak was waiting for the referee to make his call for unnecessary roughness, but the whistle never came. Perhaps it was too much to ask.

World Cup Qualifying Schedule
MD1: Greal VS Chutnusak (1-0)
MD2: Greal VS Idanno
MD3: Greal VS Urna Eletrônica
MD4: Greal VS Jaseuyeon
MD5: Greal VS Draistania
MD6: Greal VS Jeruselem
MD7: Greal VS Starblaydia
MD8: Greal VS Chutnusak
MD9: Greal VS Idanno
MD10: Greal VS Urna Eletrônica
MD11: Greal VS Jaseuyeon
MD12: Greal VS Draistania
MD13: Greal VS Jeruselem
MD14: Greal VS Starblaydia


1-0 win over Chutnusak

Once again, we faced our old Cup of Harmony 35 rivals on Matchday one. Chutnusak. This time we have a one goal victory over them. Many reporters suggested that the Greali team was a bit rusty but still good, hence their one goal victory. Howard Anderson easily scored his first goal of the WC44 but Chutnusak resistance was furious and Howard nearly missed, but it was a goal. The Greali won 1-0. Ross Trent, the team's captain for two years now said that he hopes to qualify this year, but it will be more difficult due to the appearance of very good veteran teams in the group, such as Starblaydia and Jeruselem. Many soccer experts agree that the team might go to CoH36 once again.


Greal 1
Howard Anderson (45')

Chutnusak 0

Now Greal will face Idanno soon in Matchday two. Other teams were doing well and badly on match day one.

Jeruselem beat Starblaydia 1-0.

Urna Electrônica over-ran Idanno 3-1.

Jaseuyeon beat Draistania 2-0.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

After since his injury, he was confined to his room, but today, he had gone to see matchday one, and he was surprised to see Greali improve. He had been in the hospital for too long. He began making bets, with a friend name Jeff.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes Jeff."

"Come on. Your injuries."

"I can watch the game from here if necessary."

"Alright, whats your bet?"

"Five hundred dollars on a win over Idanno."

"I take that bet."

"Good.I like old times."

"Do you think the Greali will qualify?"

"I doubt it personally, because of those two huge teams, but it doesn't hurt to hope."

St Samuel (1) 3 v Akbarabad (1) 3
Venue: Park of King's, Saint Maria, UFK of St Samuel

Attendance: 79,865

St Samuel Goal Scorers: Lovintino, Atalanta, Rocka

Akbarabad Goal Scorers: Z. Mohammed, Akbar

A nation welcomed back there beloved football team today at a packed out Park of King's in Saint Maria. Hundreds of thousands of supporters lined the streets, blocking the home teams coach from reaching the stadium, before St Samuel played there first competitive match for 7 years.

As the match got under way the Latin Crusaders settled quickly and it looked like they had never been away. Some good work between De Villion and Sensini after five minutes created St Samuel's first opportunity as they worked they way through the Akbarabad midfield before putting Lovintino through on goal. Thirty year old Edgar Lovintino, controlled the ball superbly before turning Rahman and then smashed the ball past keeper, Aminul Islam.

But it wasn't long before Akbarabad replied when Zahid Mohammed hit a stunning 35-yard pot-shot with his left foot which left St Samuel keeper, Niclas Corinthian stranded, to make it one-all.

Both sides battled hard for the remainder of the first half, with neither side managing to break the deadlock. Both Samuelonian strikers, Sebastien Atalanta and Enzo Mazzeranni had good opportunities, but some great goal keeping from Islam kept Akbarabad in the game.

After the break the Latin Crusaders fell under pressure for the first fifteen minutes, but a lucky through ball against the run of play, saw Sebastien Atalanta run the ball from the half way line before taking the ball past Islam and putting the ball in the back of the net to make it two-one.

Akbarabad continued to pile on the pressure and there efforts were rewarded on the 79th minute when Zahid Mohammed got his second of the game after heading home from a corner. Then two minutes later, Samin Akbar made it three-two, with a great free kick from the edge of the box.

It looked like Akbarabad had the three points all tied up, but the Latin Crusaders fought hard into the dieing minutes and after some intense pressure where the Latin Crusdaers threw every man forward, Leo Sensini sent a curling cross into the box which Atalanta volleyed home, only to see his shot stopped by Islam, who palmed the ball into the path of Salvatore Rocka, who slotted the ball home to get a well deserved equalizer.

The three-all score line was a fair result, which saw both sides play good football and the point for St Samuel is a great start in there bid to show the world that they wont be Group 6's wipping boys.

The Latin Crusaders face highly ranked Rennidan next at home and whilst the visitors are hot favourites, St Samuel will be looking to maybe steal a point.

Strong defence at home proves key.. Again.

The dream run of the Peisandros National Football Team continued today as they upset Lovisa 1-0. It was the first game the Sandrians had played at home and although the stadium wasn't full, the atmosphere was amazing and really lifted the home players as they ran out. Captain Halkias and many other players were moved to tears during the national anthem. To some onlookers it appeared as if the emotion would be too much, but as the whistle went and play began, it become clear the Sandrians were here for business.

The top 20 ranked Lovisa looked the part early on, but were matched by the renowned Peisandros defence. Keeper Calisto Pappas was tested a few times when the Lovisa midfielders and strikers were able to fire off a shot or two, but there was nothing too difficult for the young keeper to handle. After the first fifteen minutes which saw the ball mainly kept down in the Peisandros half, the defence was able to clear the ball better. This saw the rest of the half being played out, for the most part, in the middle third of the ground -- neither side able to create any real scoring opportunities. Half time, 0-0.

Second half play saw more fireworks as managers fired their teams up. Again it was Lovisa who looked the more likely to score and if not for the woodwork, they would've. It was the 54th minute and smart passing saw the Lovisa striker in behind the defence. However his shot was not a good one -- it clipped the crossbar and went in to the crowd. A chance which should have been taken and one which would have changed the match.

Peisandros' first chance came just five minutes later, when the Sandrians looked to capitalise on the missed opportunity at the other end. Superstar Nikolaidis and fellow youngster Chatzi showed a bit of flair with a one-two which lead to Chatzi unleashing a rocket of a shot, only to see it drift just wide of the goal. It was a promising sign though and the Sandrians picked up the tempo afterwards.

However it wasn't until the 70th minute that the one and only goal of the game was scored. Again Nikolaidis was involved and his ability to find open players and make space was evident yet again. He received the ball from his captain on the half-way line and was able to beat a midfielder as he ran down the right flank. He came to a defender and just used pace to swerve around him. Then Nikolaidis fired in a cross and the expert finisher Costa Theotokis was on hand and more than willing to oblige. A simple header that left the Lovisa keeper no chance. 70th minute and Peisandros up 1-0.

As has become customary with the Peisandros team, once they got the lead, they retreated heavily and looked to shut up shop. This has been problematic in the past and on this occasion it looked liked it could be. Almost immediately Lovisa had a chance to even it up, but keeper Pappas pulled off a match-saving save to maintain the Sandrian lead. From there it was more straight forward and the game meandered to a finish.

Coach Alexander Pappas was full of praise for his defence, especially senior member Alex Andreou. Andreou had struggled for game time during BoF31, but after former captain and defender Chrisou retired, he become the leader of the defence.

"I am really pleased with the way Alex has taken on this new responsibility. He trains hard and leads by example. Defence has always been our strong point. With the experience Alex has, coupled with the exciting young talent, I would say we've got the defence side of things covered. Another player who stood out today was Praxis. This kid has a huge future in the game and now that he is comfortable playing the full 90, it really helps the attacking side of our team. With this first up victory, I definitely think our aim is to qualify. Long way to go though."

Next for Peisandros is away at the top ten ranked Tynelia. It will be an extremely tough game, no doubt about it. If the Sandrians can work hard in defence and look to take their chances, a draw is possible. Anything more would be a massive upset -- but if any team is going to pull it off, it could be Peisandros.

Game summary

Peisandros 1 (C. Theotokis 70') - Lovisa 0

Yellow cards: Peisandros 1 (Halkias 14') - Lovisa 0

Red cards: None

Injuries: None

Crowd: 64,882

OOC: Sorry if any of this is a little hard to follow, I did my best.

"Well, boys, girls, I'll keep this short. It's been 10 World Cups, 21 months in the dark for us. I know I, like all of you, am keen to get out there and show the QFA that we deserve the chance to compete at this level. Go out there today, do your best, and you'll make me proud." Jerry Dixon nodded firmly, his hand vice-like on the hem of his blazer to avoid betraying a shake. "Any last questions?"

22 pairs of hands shot into the air. He sighed. "Perhaps I can preempt some of your queries. Yes, you do have to go out there."

There was a collective groan. "It's alright for you, you don't have to play your worst nightmare," called the not particularly well-disguised squeak of his young captain, Theo Littlefellow.

"Theo, listen to me, everyone listen. It's just hype. You've...ok, lookit. You've heard of 'we're going to thrash them', right? No one actually gets thrashed."

Eyes swivelled to regard Peter Rogers, who dug his toe in and twirled his foot nonchalantly.

"Almost no one actually gets thrashed."

There was a very little light laughter.

"Football is full of violent language. They're just trying to psyche you out. It probably, it's probably...they think they're really good. Maybe they wear lurid strips, I don't know. You can't let it get to you, though. No one is going to have to do anything they don't want to. If you go out there, play well, and lose 4-0 to a better side, will you honestly feel any the less about yourselves? This is a good group to be in, I like our chances. Let's get fired up, let's get out there, and let's show some spirit. Ok?"

There was a loose grumble, "Yes."

"Are you going to play like that? Or are you going to play like you actually believe in yourselves?"

A louder, "Yes."

"Are you going to play your balls off? And, Jess, Cathy, you know, your other dangly bits?"

"Yes!"

"Are we going to show them cowards don't wear 'Made in Quintessence of Dust' labels?"

"YES!"

"Come on then lads and laddesses!! Give me a Q!"

"Q!"

That should keep them busy, he thought, wondering off into the heart of the stadium. He'd join the players out on the pitch, but he liked to let them have one last moment alone. He hated it, of course: bigger, older countries getting in his young team's face with ridiculous slogans like that. 'Your Worst Nightmare.' Pffft. They'd almost had him, yet it was so absurd...

"Jeremy".

As Jerry was going up the stair, he heard a voice that wasn't there.

"Jeremy."

It wasn't there again that day.

"Jeremy."

He wished, he wished, it'd go away.

"...Dad?"

"Jeremy, my son. It's been...too long."

"Dad, I...since the funeral..."

"Son, the game is about to start so, I have to keep this brief. You remember when your mother and I got divorced? Well, that was completely your fault."

The tall figure turned and walked off into the gloom. Stopping, it turned. "Oh, and your dog didn't go to the farm: I killed it with a shovel." He disappeared.

Jerry stood, his hand quivering wildly on the rail. Derek Drake, the assistant coach, approached him with trepidation. "Jerry, everything alright?"

He stood a while longer, before finally turning to his colleague. "Derek, I am not sure this game is going to go well..."

* * * * *

The players had managed to get some excitement going in the tunnel. Nervous energy still ran through the lineup with enough wattage to power a small army of neuroses, but they had eased up from three hours before, when it had taken a team of psychiatrists to prise them off the team bus. Micky Marberger finally voiced a common thought:

"Y'know, I'm glad that, like Jerry said, it's just, y'know, like, hype. But, y'know, it woulda been, like, kinda interesting to see what they all were like."

"Hunh?"

"Well, I mean, we talk all the time about what we want. We want to win, score goals, score with women" - he fended off a slap from Jess Jensen - "and, like, Theo wants his balls to drop." There were some chuckles, and the captain shot back a deathly glare.

"No, I see what you mean. We don't really know what each other's nightmares would've been. Would've been kinda cool to know."

"Yeah, that's what I mean."

There was another long pause, filled with the scuff of studs on concrete, the frenetic bouncing of the ball, an occasional oof or ouch of anticipation. Peter Rogers spoke up.

"Alright, I'll go first."

The others laughed.

"I guess my worst nightmare would be to walk into a room full of every woman I've ever slept with and not called back, with the doors locked and no escape. And have to explain to each one, you know..."

"Damn, Peter, your nightmare is a room full of beautiful women?"

"I think you haven't seen some of Pete's girlfriends..."

Charlie howled with laughter, while Peter extended a leisurely middle finger. "Right here buddy."

"Fair enough. I know mine. In first year we had this endocrinology lecturer with the most boring voice, you know like the physicist chick Stephanie Squawking, only having taken a handful of reds first. If I ever had to sit through another endo lecture, blam, that'd be me done."

"Tame, Charlie, tame," said Micky. "I remember when I went to this huge rave three years or so ago, took some really bad acid: the things I saw. No, just no."

"You are leetle boys," mused Frederic Renard. "Leetle boys. I saw combat, I am, ow you say, experienced. I would never wish upon another man the kind of, ow you say, atrocitations I bore whiteness to."

"Spiders."

"Sharks."

"I've never liked fashionable knitwear."

"The morbidly obese."

"Heights."

"It'd be hard to beat that thing out of Quorn of the Dead."

"Nah, horror movie shit's easy. You just blast them with a shotgun."

"Yeah, well do you have a shotgun?"

"Come on -"

"SHUT UP! Everyone SHU-" Theo had whirled savagely on them. He took the game a little more seriously than the others, perhaps. They shuffled into a respectful silence: no one liked hurting the little guy's feelings. But still he stood at the head of the line, eyes like saucers, his mouth in mid squeal.

Coming up the tunnel from behind was a slow tap-tap-tap. Tap-tap-tap. One by one they turned, to see what was tap-tap-tapping. To their surprise, it was just the studs, of the boots, of a man. He was tall and muscular, but hardly an apparition. He wore the distinctive kit of The Holy Empire side, and a large number 7 on his back. He walked up the line, exchanging a few nods, a respectful wink to Jess.

"Theo, what's wrong, it's just a dude?" whispered Winchester Furman.

"Theo? Theo Littlefellow? Hey man, I'm playing right wing today - guess you'll be covering me. Listen, I just wanted to say, good luck. You've got some great skill, I'm really looking forward to it. See you out there." He gave the diminuitive fullback a hefty pat on the shoulder, and strode past the perplexed Quodites to the pitch.

"Theo...?"

"It was a...mumblemumble...man..."

"Yeah, a man, come on, what?"

Charlie pushed past, though. "Did you just say, 'It was a black man?'"

Theo shook lightly. "Did...he...actually...touch...me?"

"Yeah, Theo, he..."

The other players suddenly found incredibly interesting spots on the wall to look at. Several of them happened upon incredibly interesting melodies to whistle, for surely the argument about to transpire was so terribly uninteresting.

"Wait a minute. Your worst nightmare is to be touched by 'a black man'?"

Theo looked up at Charlie mournfully. "Charlie...I don't......BUT HE WAS BLACK! WAAAAH!!"

"Oh, yeah? Well maybe my worst nightmare is playing in a team with a little racist, huh? What, you captain of the Qu Qlux Qlan now?" He shoved the captain roughly, who looked down, transfixed with horror at his own chest, and then ran, screaming, back down the corridor.

"Maybe we shouldn't go out there..."

"Oh, so now you have a problem playing with me?"

"No, no, no problem!"

Ten forced smiles - Guilermo Azzinio was hauled from the dressing-room as a last minute replacement for Theo, who had locked himself in a locker, sobbing - and one determined glower swam on, down the tunnel, out onto the pitch.

* * * * *

By the close of the match, any sense of team morale had been more or less obliterated. The Holy Empire's team had turned out to be an utterly conventional lineup, whose attacking wing formation was in fact somewhat wasted on the jibbering, inchoate mass that formed the Quintessence of Dust midfield. They ended with a 1-6-1 formation, with Winchester Furman huddled in the centre, two players sent off, and one missing presumed eaten.

Just at the parp of the whistle to start the game, an overly made-up woman in her mid 30s stood up in the stands, brandishing aloft a banner bearing the slogan, "Roger Longhorn IS compensating for something with all those cars". After halftime, she returned with, "0-60 isn't the only thing that takes him fifteen seconds." While it amused his teammates no end, particularly when the stadium PA announced that the match was being specially broadcast on big screens in central Highmark City, as well as at a party for his entire graduating class from the University of East Sponson, this threw their star forward so off kilter that he missed both of his early chances before camping out on the edge of the penalty area with a hastily constructed, "I Do Not Now [sic] This Woman" sign.

Peter seemed to seize up every time he got the ball, somewhat putting paid to his role as playmaker. From the first whistle he took a pass only to stop and, to the mystification of the other players, at this point still creasing up over Roger's embarrassment and glad that the curse of the worst nightmare had, thus far, not targeted them, shout at a seemingly empty seat, "Honestly, I did just go out to get some eggs...the shop, was, er, closed!" Late in the first half, they won a promising free kick, only for him to head the ensuing cross badly wide, afterwards running to an apparently deserted section of the stand and pleading, "Victoria! I meant to, I just lost your number, I...wait, are you Victoria or Elspeth?"

The first goal came after ten minutes. Guillermo Azzinio, a former first team player, had started well at left back, and tracked well a sharp run down the right flank by the Frostican winger. Suddenly, just as he was about to block the ball inside, he yelled with alarm. The other players watched in horror as he leapt out of the way of the ball, which rolled to the forward for a tap-in finish. Causing his alarm was a very stout woman who had run onto the pitch. She was bearing down on him, her arms thrown wide open. Charlie, two Frostican midfielders, and both linesmen managed to wrestle her off the pitch. But it was too late for Guillermo, who ran shaking to the goalposts, where he would remain shivering for the next 80 minutes, wailing, "It's a woman with a moustache, ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgodmakeitstop..."

Charlie didn't see what all the fuss was about as he deposited the hefty broad over his shoulder with a thud. Sure, she had definite sproutage, a thick black caterpillar on her upper lip, but really, that was worth freaking out about? And he could not believe Theo. You think you know a guy...

"Mr. Williams."

It...it couldn't be. He turned. An elderly gentleman in a stiff black suit was unfurling a blackboard with precise movements, five yards shy of the touchline.

"When plasma levels of insulin are chronically elevated, then the number of insulin receptors on target cells is decreased. This effectively desensitizes the cells to insulin. Another example can be found in the action of chorionic somatomammotropin in down regulating maternal insulin receptors...

And so, the second goal. The Holy Empire won a corner.

"Charlie, watch their centre forward. Charlie, he's cutting inside. Charlie? Charlie!"

But, to no avail. He was slumped, foetally, miles from the action, drooling over a notepad covered in vague doodles and lists of hormones.

At least the normally violent player evaded any caution. No such luck for the other noted dispenser of rough footballing justice, Frederic Renard. Though tutting and sighing at the 'leetle boys' he was forced to play with, and the cack-handed attempts of Quodite transliterators to communicate his French accent, he was buoyed when a clearance from one of The Holy Empire's defenders ricocheted off one of the thick medical textbooks spontaneously accumulating at Charlie's side, to earn a corner. He lined it up, took four paces backwards, looked up, and froze in horror.

A small girl ran, screaming, between the jostling footballers, casting terrified glances back over her shoulder. He could hear the drone of aircraft, smell the tang of burning petroleum, feel the vibrations run up his knee as the ground shook to regular bursts of machine-gun fire. One of the defenders moved into the little girl's path, inadvertently blocking her escape route.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo..."

When they finally managed to pull him off the bloodied centreback, he was incoherent with rage.

"Zeez eez not what I cem ear to fight for! Zeez eez not hwhat I hwhanted! I deed not knoooooooooooooooooooooooooo..."

While The Holy Empire fielded a quick substitution, the referee dispatched Renard with an inevitable red card. As the battered remnants of the team huddled themselves together at half-time, how could they know what horrors still awaited them?

"Here are the oranges, don't worry, keep it up," Derek nodded nervously. One or two of the players noticed he seemed oddly prepossessed. "Is that a...hmm...no...it's, well, lads, Jess, you're doing great, let's try and pull one back now, ok?" He turned, the tray still in his hand. "OH DREAD PHANTASM OF THE NIGHT!" The tray went spinning, landing at Winchester Furman's feet. He looked up.

"No...oranges?"

"Come on, second half's up."

"Wait, I have to eat something."

"Come on." And, in words David Yellowback would regret for the rest of the match, "We have no food left."

Furman did, bravely, persevere. Not for the match - 45 minutes without food was always a test - but to keep his sanity. So, while The Holy Empire netted an easy third a few minutes into the second half, scoring in an open goal, he roamed the stands looking for someone willing to split a hot dog or share a bacon roll. He found himself begging for scraps of popcorn, and finally planted himself at the centre spot, his mountainous stomach bulging up and down with his rapid breathing, on 'hunger strike'. They would have attempted a substitution, but there was no forklift truck available.

Jess Jensen had held things together on the left admirably, and her spirited runs had drawn some excited gasps from the crowd. Now, she took the ball deep in her own half, and made a zig-zagging dash past her opposite number. She studied physical education at college, and had always disliked fatness and slothness, and now she found herself skipping nimbly past him: he was rather portly, wasn't he? Maybe that'd teach their defender to lose a few pounds, she thought, as she attempted a nutmeg. But it stuck, lodged beneath his enormous rump. She turned. Their centre midfielder had joined Furman on hunger strike. Two of their strikers were gnawing up the corner flags. Their goalkeeper - so bulbous he could touch both sides without stretching! She retrieved the ball, and fired off a shot, but it rebounded horribly off his enormous man-breasts for a corner. The crowd cheered...and burped...she looked up...

The players, the referee, and now the crowd...lumbering fatties! She was surrounded by rolls of flab. The corner, lofted in her direction, ran harmlessly past her, as her horrified stare turned to the referee, who'd had to raise an arm and was now taking several recuperative breaths. "You're all...fat! Get some exercise! Eat some celery!"

"Celery?!" roared Furman from the centre spot. "My kingdom for some celery!"

Dino Achten ran over to her. "Jess, calm down, don't judge them for being fat. After all, stones and greenhouses and all that..."

"What does that mean?"

"Well, take a look..." he pointed to a conveniently reflective piece of advertising hoarding. She could see his reflection, standing next to a ball with a ponytail. A...ponytail...

Dino was too convinced he could hear the nurr-nurp, nurr-nurp, nurr-nurp of an impending Great White to offer much solace, and from thereon things deteriorated beyond anything recognisable as a football match. Star player David Yellowback netted an own goal. It rebounded off the post with a zing and he celebrated wildly, later claiming it had squatted a particularly juicy tarantula. Forward Dennis Young was sent off after ripping out one of the remaining corner flags to "fend off the oncoming hoardes of cardigans and bobblehats". Substitutites were little help: Bob Bobson stepped onto the pitch only to begin wailing that the grass was "too high, too high", while Benvolio Azzinio replaced Peter Rogers, who was now gesticulating wildly at some far portion of the stadium, shouting, "You know what, I left you a note on the fridge, maybe you're the one with the problem!", only to run straight back to him in the dugout with the simple words, "Peter, lend me your shotgun."

And Michel Marberger sat, all the while, allowing one of the Holy Empire defenders to dribble all the way up the pitch and run three rather bored circles round him, before scoring their fifth with eminent disinterest. He sat, rocking back and forward, staring at some distant spot, quietly breathing to himself, "No! So many tentacles..."

Dazza Dallas Stadium ... Jeruselem and Starblaydia were playing out a rather busy game. The home team were fighting hard to beat their nemisis team Starblaydia, but not landing any blows despite a noisy and mainly pro-Jeruselem home crowd. Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas was proving difficult to control, giving the visitors a hard time with her Dazza-eque array of football skills. Ryan Greenly had sent on a balanced team knowing the visitors themselves had a very similar team.

Both teams had experienced coaches with a mixed sex team with experience and youth. The Purple Menace were the favourites ranked 6th but the 13th ranked Princesses can never be discounted. The referee was kept really busy with both teams going on the offensive and both teams getting frustated at not scoring. The Jeruselem were small team, with plenty of average sized males and shortish females. The Starblaydians had the advantage with headers but the skillful Princesses were dodging tackles and throwing themselves around to make up for being a smaller team.

The Jeruselem defense being mainly female had trouble with their larger opponents but doggedly defensed like a pack of terriers. They have little time on the ball charging in to unsettle any potential attacking moves. As time wore on both teams could not land a killer goal. It was late in the game and both teams seemed to be settling for inevitable draw but the real Princess didn't want a draw. The old Jeruselem set plays weren't working.

Marie charged down the field with the visitors expecting the usual pass-fest from the Jeruselem midfield but the selfish Marie kept posession dodgying, skipping and running around. Still the defense expected some late pass but she wasn't letting anyone get in the way and beat the keeper with a clinical strike to score the winning goal. It was like the old days with Kate Dallas or Dazza Dallas putting on a winning spark of individual brilliance.

Dazza Dallas may have retired and had a stadium named after her, but the future was secure with her kids. When asked about the winning goal, coach Ryan Greenly said
"You know, our organised and planned attacks failed to break them down but a moment of reckless insanity can break down the best of defensive systems. You don't expect one individual to just run down the field take on the entire team, sometimes you catch off guard. Mind you, it only works with a crazy person like Marie who doesn't know when to stop until she runs through the brick wall."

Changes named for next two games

Coach Pappas has made a few changes for the second and third WC games. Full team can be seen here. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14359820&postcount=55) Luke Erasmus and Luke Sisinis have been rested in defence, with Terry Roubanis coming in to the starting line-up. Earning his first cap in defence is Hyakinthos Bion, an exciting prospect for the 30yr old.

One change in midfield sees Xanthis rested and the hugely experienced (at club level) Dionysos Karras starting his second international game. Upfront George Theotokis has picked up a slight ankle injury and is replaced by Lefteris Diakos, the 17yr old also playing his second international game.

These changes also lead to a change in formation, with Diakos slipping in to an attacking midfield position with Nikolaidis moving forward as well -- 4-3-2-1.

Somewhere in the Northland Territory..

"Tied at 1-1 here in the 74th minute in Rennidan. And Joanna Davids is sending in Benjamin Ernst for Raul de Olivares here in the 74th minute. De Olivares' goal in the 13th minute gave the Pheonix an early 1-0 lead, but Rennidan's Selet Loek headed home a goal in the 54th minute off a corner from Josef Fersu..."

"Fernando, Come here, the phone is for you!" Suzette Turek called from the living room.

"Dangit, They just sent in Ernst. Tell tehm I'll call them back!" Fernando Truek yelled back.

"It's from the QFA. They've been trying to call you all day long." she answered, coming onto the porch where Qazox former coach sat.

"Fine, I'll see what those idiots have to say, but couldn't they have waited until after the game?" Turek mumbled as he picked up the phone.

"Yeah, this is Fernando Turek....
What...
Are you serious?
Well do I have to go to Akbarabad, or can it wait until the St. Samuel match.
I'd prefer to wait until the first home game, but if you want me in Akbarabad, I guess I can be there in two days.
Ok then, I'll see you there, have a good day."

"What was that about honey?" Suzette asked.

"That was the President of the QFA, Joanna Davids is going to be quitting as Head coach of the national team, after this game with Rennidan. She's been diagnosed with ovarian cancer." Fernando replied.

"That's so horrible. I hope she can recover quickly. Is Charles Danho going to take over the team then?" she answered.

"No. I am. That's what the phone call was about. And starting in 2 days, or as soon as we both can get to Akbarabad, I am going to be the next head coach of the Qazox Pheonix." He replied, sitting down on a chair.

Suzette paced the room a couple fo times and finally turned to her husband.
"Well I guess we can ask Randy and Erica to watch the house, they only live a couple of miles away. I'll start packing, you go finish listening to your team."

"...And Benjamin Ernst has just scored here in the 87th minute, giving the Phoenix a 2-1 lead here late in Rennidan, The decision by Joanna Davids to sub him in was a brilliant one, as Ernst just ran right by Daniel Samman leaving him wide open for the cross from Jason Erca..."

Pruxton Globe

Damn Yaforites, Starting a game involving Zombies at noon. But despite that handicap, the Zombie held together well enough, until the 66th minute, when the first of 2 Vorin Dariegan goals entered the net. The 2nd came just minutes later, when Zombie Giacinto Facchetti's legs ware mysteriously gnawed off by a murder of crows, leading to the easy goal. While Dr. Mkembe was mum about the crow incident and how Facchetti's legs came back, a local Yaforite undertaker claims that a recent arrival to his morgue is now missing both legs.

Up next is a trip back home to debut our new stadium against Cafundeu. The game will start at 11:58 pm local time, and a full moon is expected that evening as well.


The schedule is this: (along with our Predictions for the Zombies)
Game 1: @ Yafor 2 LOST 0-2
Game 2: vs. Cafundeu (Loss 2-3)
Game 3: vs. Bears Armed (Win 4-1)
Game 4: vs. Iseerussiafrommyhouse (Win 3-0)
Game 5: @ Brightonburg (Win 3-1)
Game 6: vs. The Blouman Empire (Draw 2-2)
Game 7: @ Myedvedeya (Draw 1-1)
Game 8: vs. Yafor 2 (Draw 1-1)
Game 9: @ Cafundeu (Loss 1-4)
Game 10: @ Bears Armed (Win 2-1)
Game 11: @ Iseerussiafrommyhouse (Win 4-2)
Game 12: vs. Brightonburg (Win 4-1)
Game 13: @ The Blouman Empire (Loss 1-2)
Game 14: vs. Myedvedeya (Win 2-1)
PREDICTED RECORD: 7-3-4 24pts 3rd in Group.
ACTUAL RECORD: 0-0-1 0pts

"Who are you?" yelled Boldozaa as he stared at the human's face on the volcano walls. The man seemed to stare at him with curiosity, but to Boldozaa, this was an insult beyond toleration. "I ordered you to speak!" he said again.

"Now, now, a little testy, are we?" the man on the other end laughed. His brow furrowed. "I wouldn't say that you're in a position to be making demands."

"What's that?" Boldozaa bellowed. General Gaizok took a step back. This human, whoever he was, had the steely will of the legendary hero. Impossible, could he be...?

"From what I can understand, we've defeated all of the monsters you've sent to fight us," the man replied. "And I wouldn't be talking to you right now if we hadn't captured and studied one of your minions. Now, I'm not about to say that we know everything about you, but..." He smiled. "I'm confident that we have the ability to counter whatever you've got waiting for us."

Boldozaa was angry, but there was nothing he could do about it. The human was right about everything, save for maybe his assertion that the humans could win in the end. He folded his arms, stewing. "What's your name?" he asked.

"Ah, so you do have manners," the man laughed. He gave a mock bow. "My name is Stephen, and we'll be in touch." The image fizzled and then disappeared. Stephen imagined that he'd done enough to incense the dark lord for now. He went back to his desk and grabbed his phone. "Message for Colonel Brandenstein," he said. "We have contact."

**********

Joe sat with a laptop in front of him. His eyes wandered across the screen, which displayed several different graphs. These numbers don't make sense, he thought. Nothing matches up...

"Whatcha got there, big guy?" Tetsuya wandered into the room and dropped down over Joe's shoulder. He took a look at the screen and took a drink from a water bottle he was carrying with him. "Man, you're hard at work, what's all this?" he asked.

"I asked for the combat data from our last mission," Joe replied. "I'm sure you noticed the way our power core glows white when we fight the enemy."

"Yeah, what about it?" asked Tetsuya. "It's helping us win, so why should we worry about it?"

"Apparently it was installed by Brandenstein," Joe replied. "I asked the commander about it and he said he was notified but didn't get any details."

"And you're trying to build those details yourself instead of just asking the guy?" asked Tetsuya. The data continued to flow across the screen, and he had to admit that none of it made any sense to him.

"Don't you think that guy's been acting weird, though?" Joe asked. "The way he conducts himself around the base, and the way he's been controlling what goes on around here."

"Yeah, but we should expect that," Tetsuya replied. "If the public found out what was going on out here, it would be a total panic. And also..." He took another drink and stood up. "We can't make any careless moves with the military. If too many troops get allocated up here, people will want to know what's going on."

"Maybe I am worrying too much," said Joe, closing his laptop, "although it still seems strange that he'd not tell us it was in. If he meant to test a new powerplant, he should've told us so that we knew to push the Dancougar." He stood up to follow Tetsuya out of the room, as the afternoon briefing for Beast Machine pilots was about to start. "I guess that troubling thing is that I can't find anything known that produces that kind of energy..."

**********

Russ opened the door to the simulation room, which was empty except for a single machine. He took a few steps inside and watched the projection screen in front of the unit. The plane was weaving through enemy fire and picking its shots carefully, but it still wasn't coordinating well with the AI wingmen. One of them went down in a violent fireball and the screen went black. There was a thump from inside the machine, which Russ took to mean the person inside wasn't happy. The hatch sprung open and out jumped Erica with a scowl in her face.

Russ immediately got down on a knee. "Ah, your highness, I'm sorry, I..." he stammered.

Erica blushed when she realized he'd seen her outburst. She quickly calmed down and threw him a hurried smile, waving her hands. "Oh, don't worry about it!" she cried. "Get up, you don't have to..." Russ got to his feet as she leaned against the outer wall. "I've been in here for two hours, and it feels like I'm not getting any better. I can't seem to keep my team alive."

"You looked fine from what I saw," said Russ. "Your movement's getting better. But I wouldn't worry about the programmed allies. Pete and I are a lot stronger than that. We wouldn't let ourselves go down so easily."

"I guess so," Erica sighed. "By the way, thanks for speaking up earlier. I wanted so badly to prove I could be a leader and defeat them, but I guess I was trying to come along too quickly."

"Well... that'll come in time," Russ said. "Hey, Pete and I have your back, all right? You let us worry about that. It's our job to protect you, after all..."

The door to the room slid open and Christina and Sonya came in, and were in the middle of a loud conversation. They fell silent when they came into the room and saw Russ and Erica alone and. They stopped walking in and, both throwing them a wink and a smile, backed out of the room. "Wait, this isn't...!!" Erica began, but they were gone.

Russ just laughed. "Well, princess, if you're really concerned, why don't you take a break and then pull Peter in here later? The three of us can work on our formations, all right?"

The Zito Zip
Opening qualifying match jitters?
Wombats give up early goal.
James Rogan in the 9th minute.
Then red cards filled the air.
One each in the 17th.
Eric Fraser for Secristan;
Becky Fick for the Wombats.
Then another for us.
Monica McGann in the 50th.
But a mistake by:
Adam Gregory, in his Debut,
Gave Dale Henke a goal.
Tied at 1-1 after 65th.
Gamed ended the same.
Now Wombats will welcome.
Terreiro de Ogum to town.

Schedule:
MD1: Secristan D 1-1 (0-1-0)
MD2: Terreiro de Ogum
MD3: @ Euro Federations
MD4: Tynelia
MD5: @ Rymeria
MD6: Peisandros
MD7: @ Lovisa
MD8: @ Secristan
MD9: @ Terreiro de Ogum
MD10: Euro Federations
MD11: @ Tynelia
MD12: Rymeria
MD13: Peisandros
MD14: Lovisa

(ooc just in case you are wondering, ALL my sentences from now on will be 6 words or less. It's the Express Match report!)

THE ROCKET REPORT

HERE WE GO AGAIN

Septentrionia- Perhaps, the Rockets should just forfeit the first match of qualifying every time. In what is a very aggravating statistic, with this loss, Newmanistan has a record of 1-1-3 in the first game of qualification. Throw in the second game, and the Rockets record is a combined 1-1-7. So the odds aren’t exactly in our favor for the next match against Quintessence of Dust even if it is a match that we “should” win. Having to constantly play catch-up in the group is a pretty good reason why the Empire just cannot get over the hump and get into the World Cup Proper, and now they are in that situation again. This wasn’t just the first game, it was a critical game, because at the end of the day, Septentrionia is the nation in which we are going to need to catapult to get there. There’s a lot of time left, we know that. Try telling that to the angry supporters on the Pocono City radio call-in shows after the match. Those are the just ones I heard, and I am sure they are going on all throughout the Empire. There will be those who say you have to give Septentrionia credit as they knew the meaning of the match too. Screw that.

One thing about Septentrionia is that they have a very passionate fan base and they were quick to recall a couple of the past meetings between the nations in the World Cup of Hockey. That is one of the most popular sports here, if not at the top of the list, but this is also a country that loves their football. Remember that World Cup 42 was co-hosted here, and their club teams generally do quite well in the TQCC. Unfortunately, we were not provided with a roster, and despite our efforts to get one from their media, they looked at us as if we were speaking a foreign language. An intern tried to steal one off one of their desks, but unfortunately what they stole was OUR World Cup 44 roster off their desk, not THEIRS. We tried to get a copy from Brian Carson, but he told us that if he released the names of their players, that we would experience our worst nightmare a little early. So, they were just a bunch of numbers running around for us. Newmanistan didn’t waste any time getting started, though, trying to use their speed to their advantage, and were rather aggressive with some of their passes. In just the 5th minute, Jeremy McAllister had quite a good chance that saw the keeper just barely get his fingertips to it to knock it over the bar. Not to long later, the Rockets generated another chances thanks to a great cross by Alex Parnett into the box for McAllister, but again he was robbed by the home keeper, coming in the 9th minute. Back at it in the 13th, Parnett hit Jennifer Vilardi down the right wing, but she was ruled offsides when the defender deliberately played the offsides trap. A similar scenario would happen just three minutes later. The opening was very promising especially given the fact that in the two pre-qualifying friendlies, it was the opponent that got off to the quick start. It was the plan to get the early goal and try to play with the lead, and in the 24th minute, they had another brilliant chance to get it, but again Jeremy McAllister was stopped. Whoever this keeper was, perhaps Rene Laviolette who started for them recently in the Vahala Invitational, he was keeping his team alive. McAllister was having a great start to the match, and against weaker opposition he’s probably already fired #95 and #96 home, but it was not to be. The rest of the first half saw more of a balancing out of play, which is just want the home side would have wanted.

At intermission, the players headed back to the locker room with no goals on the scoreboard and very different feelings about that fact. Like a hockey team that gets outshot 15-2 in the first period but the game remains scoreless, Septentrionia had to have the feeling that they survived and were very fortunate to be level. There wasn’t a lot of head shaking in the Rocket’s dressing room, but it was pretty clear that the keeper, just maybe Rene Laviolette, was in their head already. There were positives to speak of, as they really didn’t give up a real great chance go against them. The shots that Septentrionia did manage seemed to be done with a prayer as opposed to really testing Chris Kusler. The defenders must be credited here with terrific play, especially Kevin Haynes and Scott LaFave. Their communication was much better in this game after being crossed up with signals in both of the friendlies.

The second half began with Septentrionia likely wanting to assert themselves more, possibly with more physical play so Carson had his club be prepared for that. Brett Prescott was on the sideline as an option, and it did appear as though Brian was going to put in the enforcer, but didn’t want to do it at the start of the match. In the 51st minute, just as we imagined, a Septentrionia player who may go by the name of Paul Bourassa delivered a dirty tackle on Brett Carlson, and the referee issued the yellow card. It also set up a free kick from a favorable distance, but the wall of the home team did it’s thing and defended it perfectly. The Bourassa tackle though would mean that Carson could not wait any longer to get Prescott out there. In the 55th minute, he was, and the referee immediately went over to Brett and had words with him. The refs know well now what Prescott does out there, and they knew how much this game meant to both teams. In the 62nd minute, J-Mac had another great chance but the keeper was there again. McAllister uncharacteristically displayed his frustration after this by holding his arms in the air and shouting out what appeared to be a couple expletives. Despite being outplayed for much of the match, it was after this where the momentum of the game began to shift. It wasn’t immediate, but after some midfield battles, Septentrionia’s forwards were having more success with the Newmanistan defense but challenging the middle. Now it was Chris Kusler’s turn to get tested and he was quick to show the fans that there was more then just one good goalkeeper on the pitch tonight. With great saves in the 71st, 76th, and 80th minutes, the game was looking destined to be a 0-0 draw. The fans could sense it, and the Rockets would have been ok with coming in here and getting that result. In the 89th minute, it all changed. A brilliant cross by a midfielder into the box led to a header and a goal. Just like that. The whole play took about 5 seconds from start to finish. In a game that went 89 minutes with no goals, we were reminded of just how quickly a goal can happen when you are least expecting it. Septentrionia celebrates. Newmanistan must play catch-up. Again.

Brian Carson and his dejected group of players weren’t in the mood to grant post-game interviews, and we didn’t really want to press the matter. Carson did promise us though that the team would not let this loss ruin the qualifying campaign and that they will do something they have never done in a second game of qualifying. Win.

SEPTENTRIONIA 1
Anonymous (89')

NEWMANISTAN 0

EAST POCONO TELEGRAPH

East Pocono won their first ever qualifying match tonight, getting a 1-nil victory over Lecland. It was the first ever match for our opponent as well. A sold-out crowd of 43,291 attended the historic contest and they saw Lecland get very frustrated with our six defender lineup, and they could not do anything about it. The quarterfinalists from the recent Baptism of Fire surely looked at this match as one they needed to win, whereas we will just be happy any time we get a point. Yes, we did see this as one of couple chances to get a victory, and it’s always good to start off qualifying with a win. There are other nations that just cannot do that no matter how hard they try. The Wolves scored their goal in the second half, coming in the 70th minute off the foot of the team’s lone forward, Adam Schaefer. Eric Prescott, who will not tell us if he is in anyway related to a more well known Prescott set Schaefer up with the pass. Prescott also delivered a couple of rough tackles in the match while the referee wasn’t looking. The Wolves remain home against another team that they probably could beat in Docky before we start to see the good teams of the group.

World Cup Qualifying Schedule
MD1: Greal VS Chutnusak (1-0)
MD2: Greal VS Idanno
MD3: Greal VS Urna Eletrônica
MD4: Greal VS Jaseuyeon
MD5: Greal VS Draistania
MD6: Greal VS Jeruselem
MD7: Greal VS Starblaydia
MD8: Greal VS Chutnusak
MD9: Greal VS Idanno
MD10: Greal VS Urna Eletrônica
MD11: Greal VS Jaseuyeon
MD12: Greal VS Draistania
MD13: Greal VS Jeruselem
MD14: Greal VS Starblaydia

Greal VS Idanno Preview

Greal will be playing Idanno today, a country that is ranked 147th while the Greali are ranked 58th. Though Greali have a much higher rank, Idanno may be a tough team and surprise. The Greali overall will be aggressive against their opponents later tomorrow. In the group, the following teams will be playing in Matchday 2.
Chutnusak will be playing Urna Eletrônica. Prediction: 0-1
Starblaydia will be playing Draistania. Prediction: 2-0
Jeruselem will be playing Jaseuyeon. Prediction: 2-0

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Roger is back in the game."

"Curse these civilians. What are they doing?"

"Not sure now."

"How much is today's bets total?"

"About a hundred thousand dollars."

"The main concentration of the money is at the pizza place at the Third Liberty Street."

"Alright. What are you betting on anyway?"

"A win over Idanno."

DRAW IN OPENER

A goal in the ninth minute by James Rogan helped the Millionaires earn a 1-1 draw against Green Wombat on the road in what should be seen as a very good result. It was early in the match, and Rogan used his amazing speed to get by a couple defenders before beating Lawrence Dvorak with a shot. That would be the only Millionaire score on the day as the defense played very well and Michael Rossiter had a very strong game in goal. There was plenty of excitement though as in the 17th minute Eric Fraser was given a red card after a hard tackle on Green Wombat’s Becky Fick. It wasn’t the tackle that earned Fraser the card though as he appeared to insult the Wombat. Fick then lost it and attacked Fraser. This wasn’t that great of an idea as Eric stood his ground but it was separated very quickly and both were sent off. In the second half Monica McGann was given a red as well she went after Stephen Alexander for no apparent reason. Alexander wisely kept his cool and the Millionaires played with a man advantage for the rest of the match. It should have helped but it did not and in the 65th minute Dale Henke would score a tying goal. One-one the final score.

The Secristan Department of Sports reports that pay-per-view telecasts of the match were on the higher end of the range in which they were anticipating. They are pleased that the fans saw the team get a draw against a quality opponent like Green Wombat to continue to generate optimism that the nation can indeed qualify. The next match is a road game against Euro Federations and it is one of those duds on the schedule. A win would give the team four points heading into the showdown with Terreiro de Ogum which figures to be a pretty important contest. Leading the way in pay-per-view purchases is the road game against Rymeria as fans are very excited with seeing a game from another planet. The SDOS has actually decided the raise the price of this game from 49R to 79R due to much higher then expected demand.

In the Happy Turk
"Na na na na na na na na naaaaaaa. Oooooh Turkler." Chanted Erhan after the late equalizer, after the final whistle had gone the Turks in the pub jumped up and down in a massive circle shouting "Cildirin Cildirdin, Cildirin Cildirdin." After 5 minuted of celebration the Turks in the pub staggered out back to their daily troubles, though none of them knew each other, for the 90 minutes of the match they were great friends. Erhan however stayed behind for a "Final" drink and said to the bar man "So you never told me your name."

"It's Colin." He said.

"You know Colin I like this place... what did you call it again?"

"A pub."

"Yeah that's it."

"I'll tell you what, if you like you can come back here for every match in the qualifiers, get you away from that beast of a wife you told me about."

"Oh yeah my wife..." Then suddenly "Oh shit! My wife. The drink will have to wait" He said as he sprinted out of the pub, past the market stalls still open and past the Turkgros. she's going to fucking murder me he thought as he passed several drunken teens celebrating the result. He called a Taxi that took him to his house, he looked at the time. Oh my god I'm royally screwed he opened the front door and walked in, there was nothing but the roar of silence, as he walked in he chuckled "The perfect crime." Then the lights came on and he saw his wife there on the sofa as he said "Son of a..."

"Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner."

Half time in the Archregimancy - Vephrall match, and things aren't looking good for the home side and group second seeds.

"Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner."

The visitors - and group top seeds - have raced to a 3-0 lead, despite the snow-covered pitch, thanks to a brace from Cinerne either side of a rare goal for Clinered.

"Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner."

Now the home side sit in the icon-covered dressing room, despondent, heads bowed, as their coach simply sits there praying.

"Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner."

"Isn't he going to say anything?" Asks Fr. Vladimir.

"Surely we need some rousing half-time speech?" Says Fr. Boris.

"We're getting murdered out there!" Says his brother Fr. Gleb. "Figuratively speaking" he adds. "I'm not actually literally accusing them of so vile a sin."

"Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner."

"Help us, Fr. Anthony! Hear us in our hour of need!" Beseeches Fr. Herman, as his teammates nod their heads in enthusiastic support of his plea.

But still their coach sits there reciting the Jesus prayer.

"Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner."

At last, the 15 minutes are up. The squad solemnly leave the dressing room, hanging their heads in desperation at the knowledge of the thrashing yet to come - to find whiteout blizzard conditions on the pitch, and a group of startled Vephralis forlornly trying to find the white ball in the snow.

"Oh ye of little faith" mutters Fr. Anthony, as he sends his suddenly enthusiastic squad back out onto the permafrost. "Put your faith in God, not me." His team stop for a moment as they shamefacedly acknowledge the lesson their spiritual father has taught them. Truly, how could they have been so misguided as to misplace their faith in the Lord?

45 minutes later, after goals from Frs. Innocent, Herman, and Boris, the home team prepare for vespers, satisfied at a job well done, while a cold and shivering visiting side head for the portal back to to Ordinary Reality, wondering two things....

How did they let that one slip away from them?

And isn't there a rule somewhere about calling off matches in those conditions?

(from the 'Sports' section of 'The Bear Necessities'...)


BEAR-BELLES BADLY BEATEN!

We have decidely disappointing news from Plumtrees Park, where the Belles' first match in the qualifying stages for the 'World cup' ended as a 0-4 defeat by the [all-Human] team from the nation of 'Cafundeu'. The visitors played in almost as aggressive a style as our girls, and -- helped by an unseasonably warm day, which made conditions on the pitch more like those to which they are accustomed back home -- managed to score 2 goals in each half of the game while their goalie managed to block ALL of the Belles' shots except for one (by o Greenwood, in the 37th minute) that was disallowed due to a proclaimed breach (which I myself didn't see as being the case...) of the 'offside' rule.
Asked for a comment after the game, team captain Marra SunDaughter replied _

"We did the best we could, all of the girls did, but they were just too good for us... at least this time around. We were up against the fifth-highest ranked team in the whole international Soccer association, after all! The draw that we'd managed against 26th-ranked Jeru FC meant that we hoped we might have some chance of at least a draw in this match too, although I don't think that anybody except Beorra seriously considered a win possible for us, but when we came off of the pitch at the end Mr Smith said that -- considering the much greater experience of the Cafunduese team -- he wasn't actually too disappointed by the result: apparently the record score in a World cup game is 11-0, and compared to that I think we did rather well. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a drink..."


Goals
Bears Armed: ---
(Possession = 38%; Shots on goal = 5)

Cafundeu: Alves (24), Alves (33), Danilo Sampa (44), Hubert (65).
(Possession = 62%; Shots on goal = 8)


Cards

Bears Armed: o Barrdenn (40) (red); o GreenWoods (yellow), Karramarsar S. (yellow), Karramarsar K. (yellow).

Cafundeu: Cicero (74) (red), Rossi (yellow).


Injuries:
Bears Armed: ---
Cafundeu: Alves (40) (bruised leg, from the tackle that got o Bardenn her 'red card')


(Full details on page S-5.)


_______________________________________________________________________

OOC: I was actually prepared to consider anything no worse than 0-3 "acceptable"... so the 'goal' for BA that was diasallowed due to a debateable 'offside' decision brings the result into that range...

Ad’ihan struggle in Kosovoe

Ad’ihan's World Cup 44 qualifying campaign got off to a slow start yesterday following a goalless draw in their Group 1 qualifier against Kosovoe. The drab match, not unlike sitting down facing a wall watching your efforts painting it come to fruition, or standing in line waiting to be executed by firing squad. Dull and nothing unexpected.

At the end of the day, the 0-0 result marked Devida Cal's first draw in charge as national manager. His record, prior to the match, stood at 12 wins and 6 losses from 18 matches. Unfortunately, there really isn't much to tell you about the match. It was that boring.

The better viewing was VIP-only, with some match commentators deciding it would be a good idea during half time to have a few too many pints and stumbling into the AFF's exclusive VIP area for some personalised second-half commentary. Unfortunately, from first-hand reports and a few voice recordings, it is pretty obvious printing some of these comments in a family-friendly newspaper will get this reporter and his editor fired.

So, here's your cut-and-keep list of Ad’ihan's fixtures this campaign:
Kosovoe v. Ad’ihan WC44Q Group 1 Kosovoe 0-0
Ad’ihan v. The Bostopian Emp WC44Q Group 1 Tallyn Ground
Ad’ihan v. Yaf/Bazor 2 WC44Q Group 1 Tallyn Ground
Ad’ihan v. AruthKandageLand WC44Q Group 1 Great Mets Stadium
Alversia v. Ad’ihan WC44Q Group 1 Alversia
Ad’ihan v. Bostopia WC44Q Group 1 Protectorate Stadium
The Doobie Brothers v. Ad’ihan WC44Q Group 1 Doobie Brothers
Ad’ihan v. Kosovoe WC44Q Group 1 Stade Aéroport
The Bostopian Emp v. Ad’ihan WC44Q Group 1 Sygon Stadium, Sygon City
Yaf/Bazor 2 v. Ad’ihan WC44Q Group 1 Yafalonia and Bazor 2
AruthKandageLand v. Ad’ihan WC44Q Group 1 AruthKandageLand
Ad’ihan v. Alversia WC44Q Group 1 Stade des Îles
Bostopia v. Ad’ihan WC44Q Group 1 Bostopia Stadium, Fort Boston
Ad’ihan v. The Doobie Brothers WC44Q Group 1 TBD

(Rockets players gather prior to a training session)

Brooker: Good ol’ Olympia, can’t say this is a city I’ve missed playing away games in.

McAllister: You know Brooks, South Charlotte is starting to turn the corner, they actually had a winning season last year.

Brooker: Good they deserve it. We need a bounce back year in Dunboor, that’s for sure.

Carrigan: Olympia’s a city either you love it or you hate it. It’s fun playing here as long as you’re doing well and taking care of your chances, no one’s going to throw a beer can at you. The visitors well, I can’t say I condone it.

Parnett: According to my handy chart, our results as a national team have been rather mixed at Olympia Field. But in the second game of qualifying, the results are rather horrid.

Brooker: Yes, Alex, we know.

McAllister: No, go ahead and remind everyone. As a matter of fact (summons for the team to form a circle together), I want everyone to hear this number. Some of us older timers may be well aware of it, but it bears mentioning. Go for it Alex.

Parnett: In the second game of qualifying since we began trying to qualify in World Cup 40, we have lost all four games. World Cup 40, loss to Milchama. World Cup 41, loss to Kose and The Turkomans.

LaFave: Hey, they’re back now, aren’t they?

McAllister: Yes, good to see. Anyway, carry on, Alex.

Parnett: World Cup 42, loss to Sorthern Northland. World Cup 42 was actually the only time we won the first game of qualifying as well. And then World Cup 43, loss to Starblaydia.

Prescott: Well, we’ve had a lot of tough opponents in game two, but we need to change that right here.

McAllister: Exactly, that is just a pathetic statistic. There is absolutely no way that anything less will be acceptable against the Quintessence of Dust team.

LaFave: How did it go with their worst nightmare game?

Brooker: They survived, but got crushed in the process.

LaFave: So guys, what’s your worst nightmare?

McAllister: Defenders looking ahead to the next game on the schedule over the present opponent.

(Silence falls)

LaFave: Whoa! Sorry!

Vilardi: Come on Jeremy, don’t be cranky now.

McAllister: Sorry Scott, it’s just this worst nightmare talk really annoys me. I don’t need to go to the Dreamed Realm to see my worst nightmare. My nightmare is never qualifying for the (expletive) World Cup. I’ve worked so hard and have seen us get some close, but it seems like these Cups are just a continuation of the last one and they end up in nothing but frustration.

Vilardi: We’ll get there.

McAllister: Will we Jenn, will we? It needs to be right now. There are so many of us here who deserve to play in the World Cup, but we just can’t get over that hump.

Carlson: Jeremy, look at how long it took you to finally win a title with Putnam Lake, you were always close but you could never get over that hump, thanks in some part to us (Pocono City) but you kept coming back and you eventually got it. The same thing can happen here too, man. Then you have your children. Junior is seven now. He can win it too one day.

McAllister: That’s all true, but time’s running out, the World Cup doesn’t happen every year. At this point I wanted to think about winning the Cup not still wondering if we were going to qualify.

Brooker: Alright well anyway, we must take it out on Qunitessence of Dust. This country could have some potential, they aren’t a complete debutant.

Parnett: Remember history is against us. Time to get that long awaited victory in the second game of qualifying. We must be ready, you all saw that Milchama score, right?

Carlson: Yeah that was something. Just goes to show that anyone can beat anyone, so we cannot be taking things for granted in today’s game.

McAllister: Absolutely not. Sorry guys for being such a downer. We have a great team here and I know we can take care of business. Let’s make tonight the start of something special!

Courtney’s Space

Qualifying for the coveted 44th World Cup has begun. This is always an exciting time of year. Right now you have 80 countries all hoping to qualify but is early enough for everyone to believe that they can have a shot. The stars must align for some countries to be able to do it, but this is going to be the qualification where they shock the world and enter the field despite being ranked somewhere around 90. We are no different. Being ranked 53rd in the World makes your chances slim, but no one would be bothering with this if we didn’t think we could do it. In a way it is about laying that foundation for future generations of Cassadagan women to have success much like we saw out of Jeruselem in the friendly. They are proof that we can get done what we dream to achieve, it’s just not going to happen all that quickly. Someone asked me why we don’t have any men on the team as after all, 35% of the population is male. Surely, we could find a few. Well, there are some very good male athletes in our country and a few of them did try out for the team, none of them made it. Another male fan from out of the country told me that there needs to be some kind of Men’s Rights movement in Cassadaigua because gender inequality seems to be running rampant. That’s nice that you feel that way, but I am just a soccer player. I do not have answers to all of the world’s problems. Feel free to contact your local government representatives on that token.

The first game is done with, and none of us are happy with this result. A 1-1 draw with Deep South Sopia. We should have done better against this opponent, especially at home. This country was in the Baptism of Fire and was merely an also-ran, so there is no real excuse. Yes, gone are the days where we are going to be happy with effort and just be glad to be trying to qualify. Against stronger teams, that may change, but we could not leave points on the table like this. We did not get off to a good start as they scored in the 18th minute. Thankfully, we drew level in the 66th thanks to a nice shot by Jessica Keeley, but all it did was make us not officially lose. We sure feel like we did tonight. It’s a draw, and up next is Jeru FC. This is the military team of Jeruselem, and it’s where they keep most of their men. It’s about a fifty-fifty split. Maybe we should do something like that. Or maybe not. We did well against the top seeds of the group last time so we will be looking to continue that in this game.

OOC: Sorry if any of this is a little hard to follow, I did my best.

OOC - It was brilliant! Kudos to you.


Somewhere deep in the Oneirology research lab of the University of Alasdairopolis...

"No! So many tentacles..."

"...at which point Marberger collapsed, and we scored our fifth. A highly effective experiment, if you ask me."

"But sir..."

"Yes, Cyrill?"

"Isn't all of this, well.... slightly unethical?"

"Explain yourself, lad."

"Well, I know there are those who'll claim that some of them - Littlefellow springs to mind - got exactly what was coming to them, but others...."

"Yes?"

"Well, Renard, for example... was it strictly necessary to so utterly scar his psyche with the war imagery? And Marberger... it may have been effective, but I'm not sure any of us'll want to see that tentacled... thing ever again."

"Make your point."

"Isn't it just the teensiest bit unethical to win international football matches by manipulating advanced oneirology to strike fear into the hearts of the opposing teams? What if one of the opposing teams objects to being used as pawns in one of our experiments? It's not as if we've tried to hide the nature of our squad this time around."

"Hmmmm. What you're saying may be true on some level, Cyrill, but philosophically speaking, are we really creating anything, or merely taking advantage of the darkness that already exists in the hearts of the opposing players? If they had no fears, no nightmares, they would have no reason to concern themselves with playing our squad. It is only because they are flawed and corruptable flesh that we can take advantage of their existing weaknesses. You seem.... unconvinced."

"I'm just not sure I like it, sir."

"You don't have to like it, lad. So long as you get a passing grade in this class, it is immaterial to me whether you approve or not."

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png

What's Up, Docky?
by Rami Niblick in Docky

AFTER warm-up stalemates against Nethertopia and Sarzonia, the Aces finally got their qualifying campaign underway in the obscure nation of Docky. With the travelling fans still getting used to the sight of seeing their side in alien-looking ediraf kits, the players needed no such adjustment and took the game two-nil, with Darren Scotland grabbing himself a brace.

Krytenia lead Group Eight after one match due to the wonders of alphabetical order, with Quakmybush also winning two-nil against Jey; East Pocono also took victory in their opening match, whilst the group favourites, Vephrall and the Archregimancy, played out a six-goal stalemate in the Dreamed Realm.

Elsewhere, it was joy for Jeruselem in Group Seven after they beat the Men in Mauve, the Holy Empire hoovered up five goals against a hapless Quintessence of Dust side, and the reigning World Champions, Valanora, defeated Liventia by two goals to nil in Group Two.

For the Aces though, it's another away match they'll want to grab three points from, as they travel to Lecland. Their opponents went down at the hands of East Pocono, and should be ripe for the picking. Expect goals.

Docky - 0


Krytenia - 2
Scotland 26, 53

FR1: A v NET - D 3-3 (Scotland, C Smith, Bond)
FR2: H v SRZ - D 0-0
MD1: A v DCK - W 2-0 (Scotland 2)
MD2: A v LEC
MD3: H v EPO
MD4: A v QMB
MD5: H v JEY
MD6: A v VPH
MD7: H v ARC
FR3: H v SEC
MD8: H v DCK
MD9: H v LEC
MD10: A v EPO
MD11: H v QMB
MD12: A v JEY
MD13: H v VPH
MD14: A v ARC
FR4: A v SRZ

"Good evening, my name is Rick de Vries and this is the eight o'clock journal on NPBC. Our headlines today are..."

"Lower the volume, Pauli. I can't even hear meself thinkin'."

"Sure, Boss. Oi, guys, we're on the telly."

"...Vicious fashion, three men have robbed the Winkinson Casino on Ashdom Island. The Ashdom police force is still looking for the robbers, who shot one security guard in his leg. He is not in a life threatening condition. We have Robert Corneel on the spot, Robert?"

"Hello Rick. I'm standing in front of the casino with witness Jerney Yigit. Mrs Yigit, how would you describe the robbers?"

"Oh, they were real crooks. They looked like they were part of the local Mafia, or summat!"

Pauli grinned. "She sure got that right."

"Shuddup Pauli, I'm trying to follow this."

"Sure, Vinnie."

"...Just stormed out with all the money. And... Well... That's all."

"Back to you, Rick."

"Thanks, Robert. In other news, the Falcons have beaten Alex Ruined Hallelujah with four goals to zero. Both Visser Cousins netted two and Nethertopia is off to a great start. Next on the program is Miroxia, an overtake able opponent. Here is our remaining schedule until mid qualifying:"

MD1: vs Alex Ruined Hallelujah (4-0)
MD2: vs Miroxia
MD3: @ Milchama
MD4: vs Septentrionia
MD5: @ Newmanistan
MD6: vs The Holy Empire
MD7: @ Quintessence of Dust

"And now for the weather we're going to Maryan de Kat. Marjan, what's the weather going to lo..."

Pauli turned off the television. "So tell me, Vinnie, how are we goin' to get the money to the Don? I'm sick of this hotel room."

Vinnie looked at Pauli, and sighed. Pauli was for sure the most foolish gangster Vinnie and Raul had worked with ever. "We need to lay low for a while now. We're wanted by the cops for the moment. We'll head for the airport in a few days and then fly to DePardenti. Right Raul?"

Raul nodded. Vinnie looked at him. Raul was huge, dressed in a nice tuxedo and had the strength of ten horses. He didn't say a lot, but if he said something, it was certain to be intelligent. He got strength and brains, a dangerous combination. If nobody thought of the idea to dispose him sometime, he was certain to become one of the strongest pillars in the family. Maybe even the position of Don, somehow. But for now he took the orders of Vinnie.

Vinnie shifted his look to his other compagnon. Pauli was slim, of average height and dressed in the usual associate outfit the family wore. A dress shirt, with suspenders. Most women would call him attractive, and some men would too. But he was just too stupid to survive as mobster. He would end up somewhere in the gutter, bleeding like a slaughtered lamb. Probably because of one of his own mistakes. Most likely the second commandment.

Vinnie thought of himself. he was a made man in the family, one who could count on a lot of support on and off the street. He started out as a soldier too, but the Don had noticed his potential. The captain rank was good enough. He had a nice suit, a lovely fedora and a nice home and wife. Vinnie wasn't really an ambitious man. He'd rather survive than making promotion.

Suddenly his mobile phone rang. Vinnie looked at the screen, whispered "The Consigliere" to Raul and Pauli and took the call. "Eehy, Mick! What's up? ... A-ha. ... A-ha. ... One week? ... A-ha. ... Great. We'll be there." Vinnie hang up.

"Where?" asked Raul.

"Yuri's mansion."

"Wait... What?" Asked Pauli.

Vinnie sighed. "Eight o'clock, one week from now, we're supposed to be at Yuri's house to receive our fake identities, get our flight tickets and hand in our weapons. Then we'll..."

"...But I like this gun! It's got no backfire at all!"

Vinnie rejected the thought to shoot Pauli right at the spot and continued his story. "And how will you smuggle guns through security in the airport? Yeah, indeed. Impossible. Anyway, when we'll get off the plane, we'll drop the money off at the usual place, where we'll receive new new weapons as well. In the mean time, the Consigliere has another job for us to do. Remember our buddy Reinald, the casino owner? We're going to pay him a little visit." Vinnie grinned.

Raul and Pauli happily joined the grinning.

Let Them Eat Humble Cake
Starblaydia fail first hurdle and toughest test

Evidently Valanora-Lite just doesn't compare. This fixture was always going to be the hardest test for Lex Panarii's Starblaydia side: away to their toughest Group Seven opponent. For Jeruselem, the 'Purple Menace' are the team they hate to fate, the ones who can always pull out the victory against the so-called 'Princesses'. Well, not today.

Starblaydia's patchwork side did not play as a team, despite the best efforts of players like Fëanáro and Vegachenko. The side just didn't click and this was the worst team possible in this Group to be playing against when that isn't happening. Starblaydia's defence performed well, though, as the settled centre back pairing of Samba and Logan did well, while Taniquentar was just fine in goal until the closing minutes when he was left with no protection and a striker bearing down on him. Mus'haf, bar that incident, protected the back four well, while the Full Backs did their job at both ends of the pitch.

It was up front where Starblaydia stuttered, with Diamontii Di Bradini isolated and Valrauncion roaming around out of position looking for the ball. Starblaydia's attack was disjointed and as such broke like waves upon the Jeruselem shore; they had become a collection of individuals rather than a team, and that is nothing like Starblaydia have played in nearly a hundred and twenty years. The introductions of Panos Petropoulos, Lotar Kaii'n and the Elven winger Soronúmë couldn't turn the tide, however, as Starblaydia suffered defeat in the first match.

It's the Elves' fault, of course, as the Humans and Dwarves performed quite admirably against Sarzonia in the Friendly match. Should Panarii have played the current Starting Eleven to get them to gel together in a proper match? How will Leandro Perheira put a rocket up the immortals backsides? Starblaydia have what should be a much easier task next; a home match against Draistania. If they can't pull together in front of a home crowd against an unranked side, then the World Cup will surely be beyond them.

Final score from Dazza Dallas Stadium:
Jeruselem 1 - 0 Starblaydia
(M-A Dallas 86) - (None)

MOARES: Assuming you were to play in a supporting position, how would you do so? In your clubs or with the woman's side, you have never done so.
ILSINHA: I'll adapt. I know that, for this, I'm the one who needs to adapt to problems that I have.
VELASTROS: That's a massive burden to put upon yourself. Are you ready for it?
ILSINHA: I better be. And I can support another player. I think I've proven that in the past.
MOARES: And what if that adaptation has to come at the cost of your mission?
ILSINHA: Any adaptation of this sort will come for my mission, Mr. Moares. Everything I do here is not just for me.
MOARES: Naturally. Unfortunately, everything you do reflects on those who support your mission.
ILSINHA: All the more reason I need to adapt.

The Zydrakos Dome, Ajer, Yafor 2

The match is in twenty minutes. I know it, Vorin knows it, everyone on the team knows that, in twenty minutes, we begin the first qualification campaign for our new Vanorian manager. It is also my first qualification campaign - the culmination of all of my efforts. At times, it is impossible to believe; that my efforts alone, the efforts of my friends and I, have finally landed a woman here. We played in the Zydrakos Dome prior to this, of course, but never on a field with men, never standing as the true representatives of the Grand Democratic Duchy. I stand and think. This truly is a historic moment and to know that I brought it about is beyond my comprehension.

There's a certain apprehension about the whole deal, of course, as well. As much as it pains me to even think it, I know that there are a large number of people who aren't behind my crusade. Some of them stopped me. Others never listen. Part of the problem is, I think, that many women themselves don't see this as truly a quest for equality. Instead, they see what I'm doing as insulting to women, demeaning, or something of that nature. They claim that there's already a Women's World Cup, that for us to participate in the Men's is inherent racist. Unfortunately for them, the WWC no longer exists. That's why I'm here. There is no longer a forum for us to flaunt our talent at this sport.

And the first match is set to begin. It's a little more than simply momentous in my mind. I feel as if I have the weight of my cause on my shoulders - but it's a weight that I've grown accustomed to bearing. Every step I make reflects on my cause. That's why this game is so important. The Vahala International was intended to showcase our new manager and, as a result, my abilities were off to the side for a while. That's fine. But now the world, and the entirety of my nation, looks upon me, to see how I will succeed, to see whether I will fail in my pursuit, to see whether it makes the team better or not. I think in the end that it boils down to this. If we succeed, I have succeeded. That makes my task all the easier, but all the more difficult at the same time.

We stand in the tunnel, waiting for the whistle to come outside. There's something hilarious and yet exhilarating about facing zombies the first matchday. Those who were dead and came again. In a way, we're facing our own ghosts every time we walk up there and see a dead version of Zidane or Ronaldo (incidentally, I thought that they were alive?). They're out there and they're legends - the type that I wish to be, the type that I can be. "I will do this." I tell myself. Others have called me "composed", "controlled", even "fierce". As I stand in the tunnel, I feel some kind of emotion sweep me, a variant of fear, perhaps. I think it ought to be best characterized as "apprehension". This IS everything that I've fought for. This is what I've tried to accomplish. On the field. Waiting for me.

"Time to show the world what you're made of, eh 'sinha?" It's a nickname that Vorin Dariegan has given to me. He's a nice boy, one who honestly doesn't prejudge anyone. "Hey, just remember what the manager said, right?" He's speaking of the words of our new Vanorian manager, Rúmil Oronar. He's been through this kind of thing before, he's been through games that are very similar in his life. And he's taught women before. More than that, he understands footballing styles in such a way that he understands that dribbling comes foremost in my mind, before passing the ball. In that, his last words to me were to tell me that I needed to pass the ball to Vorin when he is open. And to the wings, but I would do that anyway. Our one-striker system is based around the idea of letting Vorin score and he's done a lot of that in Candelaria and Marquez (and may do that again when we qualify).

The first goal comes off of a corner in the sixty-sixth minute. Amario Otavias, who's our corner-kick specialist when Ras Rataran is on the bench, floats it above the other side, where Vanis Kariid holds it. He gives it to me, as is what is expected. I dribble for a second. Vorin is open on the other side of the goal, the back post. I have a player (one of these zombies, I think it is Franz Beckenbauer) in my way. The choice stands in front of me - do I trust my own skills and dribble it forward, or do I do what the coach has told me to, and trust Vorin to score? It's an easy choice, and I sky the ball towards Vorin on the far post. He buries it. I suddenly realize that it's a lot easier than I expect. I also realize that the only reason I passed the ball was because I had a chance to think. Against a top-ranked team, I don't think that chance will come.

The second goal comes by lucky coincidence (a pack of crows?), but we really controlled the game nonetheless. It's a good start, against the type of team that typically bothers us, but it's not the wonderful start I was expecting. Yes, I managed to adapt once, but what about the next time? This is football, after all. Anything can happen.

OOC: I doubt Foucault, Butler, and Mencken would actually have said these things...

Announcer: "Tonight's guests on Later...with Jools Belgium include current chart-toppers Centaurus A, black metal veterans Children of the Quorn, and the much-loved Ukulele Orchestra of Quintessence of Dust. The late film is H.C. Confidential. Now, though, Quintessence of Dust's favourite arts and culture show, The Evening Review, with Alyssa Banana."

The titles play: dramatic string music segues into cool jazz into thumping pop beats, while images of books, plays, and films, mixed in with talking heads of famous Quodite cultural commentators fly by. The titles fade to a studio setting with a neatly presented young woman sitting across from four middle-aged men and women.

Alyssa Banana: "Good evening, I'm Alyssa Banana. Tonight on The Evening Review, I'm delighted to be joined by Professors Michel Fucko and Judith Cuttlefish, and L.H. Womencken of The New Cleethorpes Enquirer, with special guest Alfred Cynus, Chair of the Quintessential Football Association and former Science Advisor to President Eli Baker. Thank you all for joining me."

Michel Fucko: "A pleasure."

H.L. Womencken: "Of course."

AB: "Coming up, we will be looking at the QSC's new production of Othello, featuring an all-Chinese cast; getting the guests' reaction to what music magazines are dubbing the 'footgaze craze' sweeping the country's music scene; and going behind the scenes at the opening of the new Neo-Deconstructo-Pointillism exhibition at the National Gallery. First, though, a topic I would usually find myself discussing on Sport Gort: the performance of the national football team!

"Last night, the Quintessence of Dust returned to international football after 20 months in abeyance after the QFA had their funding cut. Particularly in light of the disappointing early exit from the Rugby World Cup, the nation's sports fanatics were hoping for a strong return to remind the world scene that amateurs can play at their level.

"Those who do not wish to know the score, and those of a nervous disposition, should look away now..."

A couple of minutes of footage of the 5-0 defeat to The Holy Empire play, cutting a couple of times to show looks of anguish on the guests' faces.

AB: "Firstly, Dr. Cynus if I may, thank you for coming on tonight. Did the defeat demonstrate that the government needs to rethink its ban on professional representation at the national level?"

Alfred Cynus: "Well, firstly Alyssa, it's a pleasure to be invited on. No, I don't think it did. The game was not a fair reflection of what our players can do when they really, if you'll pardon the expression, put their minds to it. Obviously, it was terribly disappointing that our captain did not start, and to lose a couple of key players to red cards. Discipline has always been a problem, but that's overeagerness getting the better of them. I don't think professional players would have handled the situation any better."

MF: "I think you raise an interesting point about 'discipline', and this is where I find myself in agreement with you. I think what we saw here last night was a professional team employing what I call 'the architecture of disciplinary institutions'. The rationalist ethos of professionalism, fomented by industrial capitalism, has always sought to impose such structures in order to, as I have laid it in my written work, discipline and punish..."

JC: "Indeed, but I do not think the performance was an indictment of industrial capitalism: rather, it demonstrated what I call 'the crisis of the postindustrial mind'. And I feel that what was on display was not the rigid 'iron cage' of Max Væver, but rather the chaos and ill-discipline that Sigmund Freud's later work outlines."

MF: "Well, I think it is certainly necessary to analyse the dreams that were on display last night, I would agree with you there. But I think we should turn, not to Mr Freud, but to our very own Monsieur Quacan if we are to interpret..."

HLW: "Quacan was a rube, the kinda guy'd rather boil his grandmother alive than stare a fact in the eye. I think the other guys played better than us, and the rest is superstitious hogwash."

AC: "I think I'd agree. It's important to be mentally tough, of course, but..."

MF: "What we see here is a defence of the illogical separation of the rational and the counterrational by the military-industrial knowledge complex Dr Cynus represents. In fact, it is necessary to interrogate the semiotic power of what I would like to call 'the dream event'."

JC: "I feel it is clear that the presence of Jessica Jensen on the team..."

AC: "Jess had a good game, she proved she can play alongside the..."

JC: "Yes, yes, perhaps, but there is no doubt her presence as a symbolic Other acted as a kind of funnel for the suppressed urges of the other players. Thus, the phallic imagery of the dream event."

HLW: "Oh not this again. Penises to the left of me, penises to the right..."

MF: "I myself find it hard to dispute that the idiosyncratic discourse of dream-nightmare was often realized in countersexual manners. For example, the tentacles..."

JC: "Of course, the tentacles! The tentacles! But there was also the desire to be fed: to relegate women to the role of gatherer..."

MF: "...as part of a construction of a hunter-gatherer narrative discourse, of course, I see."

JC: "The woman with the moustache represented, of course, the countersexual stimulus of being bested by a woman. Then there was the image of sexual rejection, the image of sexual failure, and the less said about the marauding wave of fashionable knitwear the better!"

AB: "Dr. Cynus, what do you think the team should do to prepare for the next game?"

AC: "Fitness will be an issue."

HLW: "Especially for that fat sonofabitch in goal."

AC: "So will discipline. Two suspensions already, we don't need any more. The team will need to rally behind the captain on his return..."

MF: "You see how the violent power structures Dr. Cynus has spent his career defending are now being replicated in the sphere of sports."

AC: "...and of course, we have many tough games after that, with 5 seeds to play against..."

JC: "Hark at the imagery of 'seed', once again supplanting normative societal positions with a hierarchy of sexual, neosexual, and post-counter-unsexual sublimation."

AC: "...and when it comes to the rematch against The Holy Empire, well, it'll be on our own turf, so hopefully it will be an easier prospect: perhaps we can even prepare one or two surprises for them..."

HLW: "They're all religionists, right? Heh, maybe we can just have fun: should scare 'em right off!"

AC: "...and, in conclusion, I would ask that we give the team our support."

AB: "Those wishing to do so can watch what should be an exciting encounter in Newmanistan live here on QBC One, and I'll be in the studio at 3 with the Sport Gort team, including Dr. Cynus, for all the analysis. Thank you. Moving on, the new Centaurus A album has stimulated a craze for..."

MF: "Of course, the stimulation of a craze is often accompanied by a ratio-countersyncratic method of..."

OLHO NO LANCE! - YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE
Partner of Globo Multimedia

WORLD CUP 44 QUALIFIERS – full coverage
Written by Sílvio Ruiz with comments by Breno Gavião (from TV coverage)

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BIG EXPECTATIONS, AND A FRIENDLY

The expectations around the Monopolists’ performance in this World Cup are extremely high, with the supporters expecting the team to seriously battle for the title. So, due to the current prestige of the National Team in the football world, the team has a huge responsibility, especially the coach David Nefasto, as the coach is often seen in Cafundéu as the main responsible for the successes and failures of a team. Nefasto’s job won’t be easy as, after all, Cafundéu never reached the semifinals of a World Cup, reaching the quarterfinals no less than four times. But, if the first games can represent the team’s strength in the whole competition, the supporters can smile.

This World Cup campaign started with a friendly against Yafor 2, a game in honour of Idurv Odakale, ex-player of Yafor 2. Many people found strange the fact that the player received the honour of having a football game after his death, as he was a criminal, involved with the mafia and did even go to prison due to that. In Cafundéu, his fame was different, as he was portrayed by popular actor Giuliano Diniz in the soap opera “The Yaforite”, which was a story about Odakale living in Cafundéu after fleeing the prison. This telenovela, which lasted fourteen months (more than most other Cafundéu soap operas), was a success both in the country and internationally.

About the proper game, there isn’t much to comment about it. Yafor 2 fielded its starters, and Cafundéu used most of them too. So, both teams had strong teams to get the victory in this friendly. In the first half, a very quiet game, with few goal chances, the most dangerous being the long ranged shot by Silveira which hit the bar. In the second half, many goals. Alves scored the first for Cafundéu, even dribbling Sidan to do this. Valinal scored for Yafor 2, but Túlio was fast to put Cafundéu back in the lead with a free kick. In the last minutes of the game, Cotuba decided the game with his goal, which ended 3x1 for Cafundéu.

YAFOR 2 1x3 CAFUNDÉU

Place: a nice stadium in Yafor 2.
Attendance: a good amount of people, we are sure of that.
Time: 23:00 Cafundelense time (20:00 local time).
Climate: clear, 32ºC.
Referee: Nizan Lamterehat (Yafor 2).
Assistants: Carlos Bossi (Cafundéu) and Isadora Grandini Libra (Cafundéu).
POTM: Silveira (Cafundéu).

YAFOR 2: Sidan; Bahsir (Varanias 62’), Kariid, Riegan and Accursas; Juhan (Rfa’an 62’), Kiranar, Otavias (Dashkir 82’), Valinal and Ilsinha (Danilo 45’); Dariegan (J’dankor 75’).
Coach: Rúmil Oronar.

CAFUNDÉU: Kardec; Cícero, Renildo (Cotuba 55’), Luizão (Datena 80’) and João Carlos; Silveira, Fabinho (Jules 65’), Augusto César (Túlio 45’) and Marossi (Rossi 73’); Alves (Lacerda 80’) and Nando (Danilo Sampa 45’).
Coach: David Nefasto.

Goals:YAF: Valinal 74'.
CAF: Alves 56’ , Túlio 77’ , Cotuba 87’.

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THE CORRECT START IN THE CAMPAIGN

The victory in the friendly game against Yafor 2 was a nice result, which satisfied the supporters. But this didn’t mean much. It could be good to motivate the players before the start of the qualifiers, or as a positive record against Yafor 2, which became one of the Monopolists’ opponents in the group of the qualifiers. But the Cafundelense challenge of bringing the major football trophy home would only really start with the first game of the qualifiers, against Bears Armed. Champions of the Baptism of Fire, they play at home in freezing conditions, although luckily it wasn’t snowing. Their hope was to use the climate in their favour, to get a positive result against Cafundéu.

Baptism of Fire champions are, in most times, the best newcomers of the World Cup (most times, but you remember WC32, when we, as runner-ups of the competition, qualified for the World Cup, when the champions disappeared after the qualifiers). So, the Cafundelenses were cautious, and avoided a possible overconfidence for being the first seeds of the group. The cold worried many players, and the physical details of their opponents scared some. And Breno Gavião, the commentator of Globo Multimedia, had many difficulties too with the long names of the Bears Armed players, which lead to many funny misspellings.

The game started with Cafundéu controlling the ball in the midfield, and exchanging passes, something common in teams coached by David Nefasto, as he loves to look at the opponent’s tactics before attempting a strong attack. But it didn’t take long for Cafundéu to find a really big open space in Bears Armed’s defence, and Augusto César passed to Marossi take advantage of this breach. The midfielder invaded the area facing no opposition and could shot to score the goal. Unfortunately for the Cafundelenses, the referee from Septentrionia disallowed the goal due to offside, leaving Marossi furious. Although the Bears Armed defenders were big and strong, there were only two of them, and due to this the Cafundelenses had a numerical advantage when attacking.

The real first goal came twelve minutes after, with Alves receiving a pass from Renildo and crossing the ball to the area… and the ball entering the goal! Something that surprised the goalkeeper, the players, the referee, even Alves! After suffering the goal, the coach Bob Smith seemed to understand his mistake, and made some tactical changes to correct the big holes in the team’s defence. After that, the hosts were even able to start some dangerous plays, with strong shots to the goal. In one of them, Beorra o Barrdenn shot and Kardec made a good save, sending the ball for a corner. Cameras caught him holding his hand in pain after that. In the corner, even more danger, as Bears Armed won all the aerial challenges. Luckily, the ball went over the bar. In the thirty-third minute of the first half, Alves did something that seemed impossible: lobbed the goalkeeper. He did that, and scored the second goal for Cafundéu.

That was Alves’ last participation in the game, as minutes after he left the field with difficulties in walking after receiving a strong tackle by o Bardenn, who was sent off. Minutes before halftime, Bears Armed scored a goal, which was disallowed by the strict referee (too strict for our taste, and I bet he is for theirs too). Unfortunately for them, Danilo Sampa raised Cafundéu's lead soon after, with a nice goal. In the second half, the Bears Armed team attacked hard, trying to score at least one goal, but the negative result for them (2x0 at that moment) seemed to affect their emotional and disorganize them, confusing the players, who started to make many mistakes. Hubert scored the fourth goal, controlling well the game. The last curious incident was when, short after substituting Karramarsar Sarra, the coach had to substitute her sister, who seemed furious for staying in the field when her sister was out.

BRENO GAVIÃO’S GOAL COMMENT (Alves’ goal): “Silveirrrrrra holds the ball in the midfield, has big – literrrrrrally – opposition in frrrrrront of him. Makes a long pass to the rrrrright wing to Cícerrrrrro, he makes a drrrrribble over an opponent, avoids a tackle that could serrrrrriously hurrrrrt him, another long pass, now to the attack. Alves with it, drrrrribbles a defender, the goalkeeper challenges him… look what he has done! Look at the goal, look at the goal! GOOOOOOOOOOAL! For Cafundéu! See this rrrrreplay with me! Alves, number seven! He lobbed the urrrrrrsine goalkeeper, amazing! Now it’s Cafundéu two, Bearrrrrs Arrrrrmed zerrrrro! Prrrroblems with losing your hair? Don’t worrrrrrrry, therrrrrre is a solution! Buy rrrrrright now the hair tonic Florrrrrresta, to see your hair back again!”

JORGE LANG’S INTERVIEWS: a four to zero victory in the first game of the qualifiers was a very positive result for the Monopolists, although an expected one by the supporters. The coach David Nefasto commented: “This victory was easier than what we expected, maybe due to their coach’s lack of experience. You can’t field just two defenders against an offensive team like ours, the breach in the defence was so huge that no one could miss that. Anyway, we started well, but we must continue this campaign with more wins.” Player of the match Marossi told the media: “A good game. We gave our message to the supporters: we are ready to make an excellent campaign.”

BEARS ARMED 0x4 CAFUNDÉU

Place: Plumtrees Park, in Council Groves.
Attendance: 27,331 people.
Time: 02:00 Cafundelense time (17:00 local time).
Climate: clear, -11ºC.
Referee: Armand Sousellier (Septentrionia).
Assistants: Marcel Duchomp (Septentrionia) and Marie de Lemont (Septentrionia).
POTM: Marossi (Cafundéu).

BEARS ARMED: Charra o Barrdenn; Urratharra o Strongpaw and Borrinna o HighPeaks; Urra SunBlessed, Marra-Urra o Redwood (Beorra o SouthWoods 45’), Beorrtha o Parram and Ulga WestWalker; Beorra o Barrdenn, Marra SunDaughter, Karramarsar Sarra (Marrla o GreenWoods 71’) and Karramarsar Karra (Ilga NorthWalker 73’).
Coach: Bob Smith.

CAFUNDÉU: Kardec; Cícero, Renildo, Titov and Luizão; Silveira, Zé Sho (Jules 66’), Augusto César (Rossi 80’) and Marossi; Alves (Danilo Sampa 45’) and Hubert.
Coach: David Nefasto.

Goals:CAF: Alves 24'/33' , Danilo Sampa 44' , Hubert 65'.

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Cafundéu – line-up for the next game: Kardec; Cotuba, Renildo, Titov and Luizão; Silveira, Fabinho, Augusto César and Marossi; Alves and Hubert.
Coach: David Nefasto.

Referee: Luke Safirre (Starblaydia).

This is a cut-off for MD2 roleplays. The scores for this set of games are now posted on the scores thread (link (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14364472&postcount=4)).

RPs following this cut-off will count towards MD3.

Brian Wilson was so used to the good times. He helped lead a nascent Stars team to a surprising third place in the inaugural AOCAF tournament. He helped lead the Stars to a dominating performance and a title in the fourth Baptism of Fire Cup. The Stars nearly qualified in their first-ever World Cup qualifying campaign back in World Cup XVI.

Those Stars teams fell one match short of qualifying in their first three consecutive World Cup efforts, then won the 10th Cup of Harmony in their third go in that tournament.

Finally, in their fourth try, they made it to the World Cup proper. Two straight Cups, they left after the groups stage. The third time, they made it to the Round of 16. The next time, they tasted sweet victory.

Now, Wilson was beginning to wonder if he was the wrong pick for this Stars team. This was going to be a rebuilding project. He wanted to take over a team that should make the World Cup, not one that was starting from the ground up.

He had every reason to reconsider after leading the Stars to a stunning 2:0 win over Daehanjeiguk in front of 52,826 at Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium in Woodstock. His son, forward Zack Wilson and fellow forward Matt Lynch scored the goals in the second half and the defence clamped down on the world's 11th ranked team.

Before the team returned to the locker room, they celebrated with fans, running a victory lap of sorts around the outside of the pitch, high-fiving their supporters who cheered wildly at this return of the Stars.

In the locker room, Brian Wilson raised his right arm with his index finger in the air.

"Men, women!" he exulted. "You showed me something today! You showed what determination can do! I'm proud of you!" The team began to cheer wildly at that.

Sarzonia won the time of possession battle 53 minutes to 47. They worked their offence more smoothly in the second half, but their defence played a disciplined match against their highly-ranked foes.

"Today's game ball goes to ... Mattie Lynch!" Brian Wilson yelled. Zack Wilson scored on a 68th minute penalty kick after Lynch drew a foul in the box. Lynch put on a great run with the ball into the area and fired a laser shot past goalkeeper Kim Jongguk to give the Stars a security blanket in the 76th minute.

All of a sudden, Brian Wilson wasn't nearly as uptight. Earning a victory and securing four out of a possible six points will do that to an inexperienced manager.

The Stars face their first away match against a West Zirconia side Brian Wilson expected to be a dark horse World Cup qualifying possibility. But for one night, the Stars could celebrate their huge upset over Daehanjeiguk, the world's 11th ranked side. And celebrate they would, poring into the Woodstock bars and drinking. For his part, Brian Wilson waived the team's curfew for the night. They'd be back in the afternoon preparing for West Zirconia. But they got a chance to savor one win.

http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/7993/dailyturkjo0.png
Koseli Cumhuriyetler 0 Bactrian Camels 0
Riots Engulf Kose Sehir
http://www.guzel-resimler.org/data/media/198/Ali_Samiyen_Cehennemi_Resimleri.JPG
Fans cause trouble in match.
After an excellent performance for which the Camels deserve full credit, the Turkic supporters are coming under fire from the manager for the constant rioting, which has injured over 700 people and 4 camels in Kose Sehir. The anger seems to have stemmed from a disallowed goal, in the 15th minute for the Turks ruled of for a foul committed by Serkan, who was yellow carded for his trouble. Later on in the game the fury was fueled by the Camels "Constantly fouling" as one furious Turkic fan put it while waving a red flare in this reporters face. The best chance for the Turks came in the 56th minute when the wasteful Oktay blasted it wide. Oktay who was literally under fire at one point wasted over 5 of the Turks 8 chanced only hitting 1 on target, he has been admitted to hospital with an injury to his eye, ruling him out of our next game, will he be missed? I doubt that very much after this sort of performance. Perhaps in the biggest shame from a neutral point of view was that the camels didn't nick the game at the end, when they missed their only clear cut chance after it was tipped wide by Orhan.

This isn't the first time - as many will know - that Turkic fans have caused trouble at a football match and this match could take the death total from all Turkic matches over the 10,000 mark.

Government Restricts Travel to Bazalonia
http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2008/02/29/turktroops460.jpg
Soldier on outskirts of Kose Sehir

The Turkic Security forces have restricted travel to Bazalonia to Ticket holders and team associates, after the above incident furthermore the government has declared a state of emergency in Kose Sehir and martial law has been initiated for the first time in Turkic history, any trouble makers foreign or otherwise will be shot, also all alcoholic drinks have been outlawed in Kose Sehir for the duration of the emergency.

Rymeria City Clarion

Rhinos blanked in 'home' debut

Atalanta, ARROZA -- (Rymerian Press Association) The Rymerian national soccer team came back to Earth, so to speak in their second match of World Cup XLIV qualifying today, losing 2-0 to World Cup XLIII semifinalist Lovisa in their first "home" game of this World Cup, played at Government Park in the Arrozan capital of Atalanta.

"We just weren't able to generate much offense," said Rhinos coach Chris Hannan. "Defensively, we did the best we could, but it's hard when your goalkeeper faces 22 shots," with 14 on goal.

The game was played in Atalanta because the players decided a trip home to Rymeria City on the RSV Hera would be impractical. Hannan agreed.

"Space travel can take a long time," Hannan said. "It causes great wear and tear on everyone involved."

As hard as it was for Rymeria (0-2-0, no points) to generate offense or play defense, it was even harder to get information from Lovisa's sports information director. The roster for the world's 17th ranked team was not availableby press time in spite of several attempts to acquire the roster.

"We don't even know the names of the two guys who scored goals," goalkeeper Matt Peters said. "All we know is how they scored." Lovisa's two goals came as a result of great runs by their playmaking midfielder with passes into the box from the left and the right, respectively. They led to goals in the 29th minute and the 54th minute.

For Rymeria, their next match is at Peisandros, which has made several lineup changes. Hannan said he would keep his starting 11 the way it is for the time being.

"Right now, we need to see if we can develop some chemistry," Hannan said. "Changing things for the sake of changing things isn't going to help us in the long run."

However, Hannan wouldn't rule out eventually making a change in the starting lineup.

"We'll continue to evaluate as we go along. If one player [on the bench] is a little bit better than a starter, we'll look at making a change."

Coach Sean Dastrin walked into the locker room and threw a clipboard on the ground. The room was pretty quiet, although all the players were walking back into the room. "How could we lose again!" he yelled. Everyone already had figured that they would lose against Starblaydia, but no one commented.

The game started out with Diamontii Di Bradini of Starblaydia making a goal at 31 minutes in. Soon after half time, Louisa Logan committed a foul on Daniel Buress and was yellow carded, and he proceeded to make a goal after that.

At nearly 80 minutes in, Valrauncion kicked the ball from nearly half way down the field and Lotar Kaii'n finished it with a header into the goal.

"Well," Frederick Dawner said after a moments pause, "at least we are a always close."

"Close isn't going to get us into the Cup," Sean replied as he walked to the center of the room. "We need to try harder, train harder, play harder, and then, we'll win. Until we get a victory, practices will be twice as long and runs will be twice as long! Coaching meetings and reviews of films will be twice as long!"

There were some groans and Assistant Coach Dawner asked, "Aren't you being a little hard here, aren't we going to tire them out? There isn't much time to practice anymore now that we are in the qualifiers."

"We keep losing and we've got to do something about it. If they want to rest, they can do it in their free time. If they want their free time they can win. I'm not going to be slacking off either. I confess that I may be just as much a part of the problem as they are. We will be spending a lot of time reviewing the other teams."

"You are crazy, you know that?"

"You don't know what crazy is, yet," Sean replied as he turned away to walk to his office.

Final Score:
Starblaydia 2 - Draistania 1

Purple Knights Defeat Liventia One to Nil

For the second time this season the Knights one a game by the score of One to Nil. This time it was the veteran team from the land of Liventia. A familiar foe from baseball, and a soon to be familiar foe in soccer. The game was held at the colossal Docktown Memroial Stadium in Docktown. Only about 200,000 of the 499,000 seats were filled as the game was not that thrilling for most fans. The stadium was rocking still considering that is about twice as many fans as people from other countries are used to.

Know if you've never heard why the Stadium was named the Docktown Memorial Stadium, knows the time to learn. Legend holds that the site of the stadium is where De Fantes Myer first stopped when he discovered the land of Taeshan on his journey from his motherland. That is where he originally stayed his first night on Taeshani land. It is unknown if this legend is true, but many say that is was the Docktown Deathdogs chose the place to be there home when the Taeshan Soccer League was first started. Legend also says that twenty people died during the building of the stadium many years ago. Some say the stadium's visitors locker room is haunted, as was why it was put there.

I don't know about legend, but i can tell the truth. The Liventia team sure looked scared when they cam out of the locker room. Wether that was because of ghosts, and ghouls or because they had to play the Knights i can't tell you, but they provided some niced easy meet for the team to chew on all dday. They were outplayed, outran, and out everythinged by our team. Hele scored the games only goal in the fortyfifth minute. Just second before the half, and the team went into total defense mode and easily won the game.

Purple Knights get ready For Champs


Yes the dreaded day has come. The Knights are about to head of to Valanora to play the Number one team in the world. Elves Secutiry Forces/Valanora. For the first time ever the two teams will clash, and most likelt the Knights will come out of it with a loss. But hopefully if everyone has good karma we could possilby tie the game. A win is way out of the question, and practically impossilbe. there is hope among many, but hopefully this game will come with at least a close loss.

Atalanta Invaded by ”Foreigners From The Skies!”
Spaceship landing causes delays at Atalanta Intl. Airport, flights diverted to Harvey County International in Northland

Travelers from last week whose flights were delayed due to the landing of the R.S.S. Hera have pre-emptively settled for a deal from Island Aire Airways (from now on shortened to IAA). Under the proposed plan, and flier whose flights into or out of Atalanta was either delayed for over 3 hours, or diverted to Northland will get one round-trip flight ticket from IAA to the destination of their choice. Seventy-four percent of the aggrieved parties agreed to the deal, which now invalidated the possible class-action suit against the company.

The Rymerians on the other hand, are going to be on Earth for awhile, having decided to play six of their seven home games at Government Park in the capital, and have suitably set up camp, renting out blocks of apartments, and hotels in the Northern reaches of the city, most notably the areas around Cumberland Square, and the East Caesar neighborhood. People that have spoken with the other-worlders have said that they seem to be great people and completely not like the gray-skinned, buy-eyed aliens who are alleged to have abducted Arrozan residents.

The Rhinos Soccer team may need some more time to get acclimated, though, as they were beaten 2-0 by the ghost squad from Lovisa.

Tar Hornets Only Lose by One At Syktyvkar and Demot!
Moral victory proclaimed by all, team immediately goes out in search of alcohol.

The lack of discipline evident in allowing the National Soccer team to be filled with B-List actors, and other hangers on of the edges of the society pages has come to fruition as the Tar Hornets lost their first two away games. Still though, coach Alfredo Valente seems to be determined to whip these people into something resembling a competent team, as their loss against Demot showed signs of improvement, especially on the defensive end.

The team's next two games are @ Solenial, and @ Koseri Cumhuriyetler

World Cup 44 Qualification - Group 2
MD1: 2-0 vs [42] West Zirconia (@ Munhwa Football Stadium - 65,000, Hanseong)
MD2: 0-2 @ [???] Sarzonia (@ Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium - 88,920, Woodstock)
MD3: vs [76] Dariusville (@ Potala Palace - 34,000, Lasa)
MD4: @ [54] Liventia (@ Colonial Stadium, Orean)
MD5: vs [1] Valanora (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium - 200,000, Hangyeong)
MD6: @ [34] Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colosseum - 599,000, Atlantea)
MD7: vs [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium - 80,000, Gwangju)
MQ: ---
MD8: @ [42] West Zirconia (@ Manchester Street - 85,000, Moorcroft)
MD9: vs [???] Sarzonia (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium - 50,000, Daebo)
MD10: @ [76] Dariusville (@ a monkey cage in Dariusville)
MD11: vs [54] Liventia (@ Silk Road Stadium - 56,000, Seoan)
MD12: @ [1] Valanora (@ Hatire Memorial - 60,000, Capri)
MD13: vs [34] Taeshan (@ Tae-majt Park - 69,000, Pyeongyang)
MD14: @ [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ hopefully not in a beer bottle)



MBC World Cup Special Report
http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t156/daehanjeiguk/news.png

Loss - Han Need New Coach

WOODSTOCK - What's been a 4 season honeymoon has suddenly started to make its turn for the worse. After starting WC44Q on a bright note, the Han have hit a reversal of fortune and are now sitting on the back side of Group 2 ahead of their match against Dariusville. Two late goals by Sarzonia and the Han suddenly look like the 11th bottom ranked team instead of the 11th top ranked team. What's going on?

Well, to be frank, there's a lot of things wrong with the team. One - they're all really old. Yeah, there's a lot of newer players, but the Han rely too heavily upon their older players. For crying out loud, the top scorer is Kim Daeeui - and he's been with the team since the beginning! The second top scorer is Jeong Jihun, who joined in WC38, not as old as the old time crew. Their younger players aren't too skillful either: one girl playing in the CMSC and one guy just starting to make his way onto the international scene. Song Jongguk - the Heavens bless him - he's more foreign now than he is Han. And he's just as old as Kim Daeeui! Yeah, they were impressive when they were young, and they are impressive while they're old. But we need new talent, and new players. There is simply too much old age and too little youth in the team. Sure, the old guys might win the World Cup, but the young guys will keep us there; and with the way we're playing, you can expect to see a topsy-turvy qualification session.

They're also not in top form. Having just come out from a break after Season 9, the players are going to be tired. And not only tired, they're going to lack the cohesive team spirit that other teams have had while they were busily making out their friendlies. We told you - Sarzonia wants a win, and we were not prepared for this. It was going to be tough, and like the first game, we were forced on the defensive for much of the game. Difference was that they didn't quit after the first half, they didn't have random bozos run off on the field with a beehive, and they didn't seem to tire after the hour. They were more prepared, and you do have to give them their credit. The Han have got to start taking this seriously or else those monkeys might toss more than just poop. And we haven't even faced up to the giants of this group.

And quite personally, I think this team deserves not to qualify. They're looking at this whole thing like it's a given. Remember WC36Q, when the team lost the last two matches and lost those two spots from qualification? Remember WC38Q when we lost the very last match and lost out on qualification? Hell, it's been a long time since then. And the Han simply think that qualifying for the World Cup is just another opportunity to beat some punks into the dirt. Well, no - it's a tough task and they need to give everything they've got against every team. They shouldn't be beating teams 2-0; it should be 8-0. We need to show the team's strength is not in being so experienced; it's in our spirit.

We're not the only team that's gotten the bad reviews. Those SLANI [9] lost out to kenavt [47]; Peisandros [84] beat Lovisa [17]; and for seemingly the first time Jeruselem [13] beat Starblaydia [6]. Granted, none of those teams compared to the contrast between Sarzonia and the Han, but it just goes to show that the teams that might have the experience don't always win if they don't show that they are willing to take the precautions necessary to win every game.

The Han must change their habits. And I think that it begins with the removal of Ioshido Toki and the installation of a newer coach. Yes, Ioshido Toki brought us to the World Cup Quarterfinals, but that's only once. Of his World Cup records, he's only done that once. And it seems that he gets worse every year. Last year, he lost to those Catholic freaks! If he's out losing to a team that should be having trouble (which it seems that they might not), how is he going to face up to the biggest challenge of the group?

Of course, the IFA is not going to listen to the cries of its fans. They're old like the rest of the team, and if it makes them money, they're going to stick with it. Hopefully, they'll heed the wisdom of their fans though and get to changing Ioshido out for someone better.


=== === ===

Pak looked at the clock - five more minutes until the first half was over, and they were still down 2-0. By the graces of whatever god was looking out for them at that time, Yang was keeping #10 in check, to the point that #10 wasn't really a threat anymore. But the fact that they were still behind was troubling to Pak. You couldn't win a game if you couldn't score, and so far, no one could seem to penetrate the goalkeeper. Kim Shinyok was making all of his shots on target (well... most of them at least, and the ones that he couldn't were more due to defensive pressure). And no one else could break through the opposition. The crowd wasn't helping either. Everytime they made a shot, they booed loudly. Some threw their trash onto the pitch, and others made jeering cries, using their numbers. Fortunately, Kim Shinyok wore #10, so everytime they jeered at Kim, Pak just thought of the same towards their #10. It made him somewhat happier.

But they still needed a goal, and Yang couldn't score any goal from where he was. But the problem then again was that they didn't have any real opportunity to score. Getting the ball past #10 was difficult enough; getting it to the goal was another problem. Their defense was all stubborn. And the referee wasn't too friendly. Not to anyone in particular, which made everyone dislike him. Objectively, Pak liked how the referee was impartial, but he seemed to harbor a general dislike for the players on the field, regardless of which color they were wearing. He had said that he didn't want to give out cards, but so far, he had issued seven cards, four to the Thunder, and three to the Pearls. He was certainly a fair guy; just a very stringent fellow.

At that moment, #10 was dashing down the field, furious somewhat that he wasn't getting all of the goals that he had wanted. But that aside, he was more furious at Pak. The two had made their engagements brief but ferocious. Early, they were almost abusing the one and the other; as the game drew out, they started doing "idiot" tricks - tricks that only idiots would fall for. Yang had made it clear and apparent that he was extremely uncomfortable with Pak doing tricks so close in front of goal, especially since Pak wasn't really a good trickster. But for the sake off some deluded sense of honor, he had to reply in kind.

The last move saw #10 move the ball around his foot, carrying it almost at knee height. He flipped the ball under his foot and swatted it to the ground, letting bounce up and over Pak. Pak simply reached back with the cleat side of his boots and flipped the ball back overhead and in front of him, instead of on the run with #10. He kicked the ball over to No Chansu, who carried the ball farther up. He then looked back at #10, who sneered with all sort of hate on his face. He ran back out to get the ball for another try, while Pak strolled up leisurely, expecting the ball to come back very quickly. However, it didn't. Moreover, it was sitting at Yim Sumin's feet for a long time while the offense worked up into a great position. Pak could see it working, and thought to himself - Hmmm, this might our chance to shine. He rushed up to the center of the field, with No holding the back of the line. Just as the clock hit 45 minutes, Yim Sumin lifted the ball out to center, where Shin Hongdo was standing wide open. He rolled up a few paces before passing back to Pak, who held the ball for a short moment, expecting to see #10 rush up to him. Like clockwork, #10 came up to him, with a mean bear face all over him. It wasn't like he expected the outcome to be so joyous, but as #10 leaped into the air to catch his deep send, Pak kicked the ball. Apparently, no one ever taught #10 to turn around and catch the ball on the butt rather than the groin, because the ball made a perfect hit. Bouncing back to No Chansu while #10 fell to the ground cringing in pain. No Chansu, seeing the incident kicked the ball out, but not before the referee called for half time.

Pak stood there, somewhat happy to see his foe lying there on the field. But as the team retired to the bench, Yang wanted to hit him on the head. "What the %$#^ are you doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Pak! This is not why we're here!"

"What do you mean?" he repeated. Yang pointed out at the field, noting the Pearls helping #10 off the field.

"I didn't mean to do that," Pak replied, trying to hide his smirk.

"You could have passed back to No!" Yang said.

"I could have," Pak said, turning defensive now. "But I didn't."

"It's not just that. You and he were playing tricks during the game. I don't think you fully comprehend the full purpose of our being here. We're not here to play like little kids. We're here to win."

"I know we are."

"Well, you're not helping!"

Bae came in at that time, patting both Yang and Pak on the back. "I'm going to talk to the team. You want to join us?"

Yang nodded, and Pak only had to oblige. Bae smiled, seeing that the tensions were starting to go under. As the team huddled around the water cooler that was set up on the field. As Bae made the team come closer, they looked up to him, wondering why he was giving the team their address rather than Pak.

"So... it's been a tough 45 minutes. Both goals scored in the first minute. Not too good." The team sulked in the disappointment of having their memories refreshed. Bae continued. "So we didn't have the picture-perfect start to a game that we wanted. But that's okay. Yang has got us secure in the back, and offense is doing very good to get the ball up the field. The referee seems to be nice too - he's not giving us all of the cards. And I know that a lot of you are frustrated that we're still losing. That's something we can fix. But something we must fix first - our attitude. We're out to win. But we're not really playing the game. I think both Pak and Yang would agree with me when I say that we're not fulfilling our own expectations. I'm not talking Mr. Jang's expectations. He wants us to win. But we - what do we want? We want to go and have some fun. Well, we're doing the 'going out' part now, but are we really having fun? You guys are all angry. Angry and frustrated. You're not playing football."

He paused. "I say you're not playing football because you're not having fun out there. Every tackle that you get, it's like another burden. Everytime they make a mistake, you guys start to laugh. Is that what football is about? Are we here to enjoy the misery of our opponents? Well, maybe the goal scoring part, but we haven't even gotten there yet. Are you guys really playing football? Are you making the best plays with the ball when it comes to you? Are you looking at your opponents with some misguided scorn as if they're the spawn of the devil? What about your teammates? Do you agree with what they're doing? You look at them, and you're thinking - 'Man, they've got to be crazy!' But look at yourselves. You're all playing same game, and it's not football. You've got to love the game. Love the team. I'm not saying love like your wife or anything like that, but love the game, love the team. Look at Mr. Jang. He's watching the game, but he's doesn't love the game. He's just here because we love the game. And to be honest, we haven't been giving him a good reason to love the game. So..." he paused again. "Let's go out into that second half - 45 more minutes - and let's really love this game. Think of this as your honeymoon! Love the game."

The team started to laugh as Bae finished his inspriational speech, but to Pak it was more of an indictment of him. It was an honest indictment - he really wasn't playing football. Playing tricks on #10 - was that football? He'd always been the champion of clean football - no tricks, just simple stuff. Pass the ball, steal the ball, catch the ball, shoot the ball. But he thought over his experience for the past 45 minutes. What was he playing? He was playing #10, not the ball. That's not football - it's foot#10. And to be honest, he wasn't playing very well; he did much better at football. Maybe Bae was right - stop the silly play, and get on to playing football. So what if they lost? They might not have the opportunity to play away for a long time, but at least they'd had their chance to have some fun on the seaside resort. It was a nice city, after all. Maybe it was time to enjoy a little football.

ANOTHER DRAW

After playing to a draw in their first game, the Millionaires could only manage that same result again on the road in Euro Federations, with neither team being able to find the back of the net. The scary thing was that this game was considered to be a dud before the match, and a 0-0 draw isn’t about to make people who didn’t purchase match wish that they did. Make no mistake about it, this is a game that Secristan really should have won. Euro Federations had no ranking and really haven’t done much to excite people that they be a spoiler in the group up to this point. Secristan simply did not come to play tonight, and the midfield play was especially awful in terms of trying to set up offense. Defensively, as you would expect, the team did a good job. Carl Perino, playing for Eric Fraser who had to sit out the match having gotten a red card against Green Wombat made that most out of his opportunity. That’s all just fine, but no goals in a match isn’t going to excite Secristanis.

Overall, Kate Simpson, our SDOS representative told us that sales for the pay-per-view were close to reaching a very low target figure, and they were disappointed that the game was boring in reality as it looked like it might be on paper. “On the eve of the opening of the World Lacrosse Championships we could have used a better response from our fans towards this match, but when it comes to soccer and our efforts in the World Cup, the excitement level is to see us play strong opponents, not countries we have never heard of. Therefore the match gets widely avoided and those tuning it out are expecting to wake up the next day and find out that we won. There’s nothing that will be exciting about this result and it will just further encourage fans to pass on other games that do not seem to have the same level of excitement.” Simpson made another observation as well, “There were a lot of zeroes today overall in the group. Half the group did not score. It provides fodder for those who call soccer a rather boring game.” With two draws in the first two games on the road-loaded opening schedule, it’s been a pretty good opening and the Millionaires are about to have a big test in Terreiro de Ogum before leaving the earth.

Valanora Times
Recycle

So it is the start of another long journey on the way to qualifying for the forty-fourth World Cup. Already the back to back defending champions are looking in form with a pair of two to nil victories, including one on the road to the high flying Liventia side. Qualifying from the group does not appear to be much of a concern, but with the inclusion of the Han Empire, Taeshan, and Liventia, the spot in which Valanora will find themselves at the end of the qualifying process, is. While it is true that the Vanorians have had five consecutive qualifying campaigns without a single loss (World Cup 39 and 43 excluded due to hosting), they have yet to face a group of this strength during that run. While this inevitably will be beneficial to the Marauders, for it will make them the most prepared for the Cup Proper, there is a good chance that they may indeed drop points and finish in second, or even third if the fates are cruel.

The away trip to Liventia was a good basis to judge how the side has done with their clubs in the eight months since lifting the trophy last July. As expected, the sensational wingers were both on form, despite the starting strikers a tad off key. Razov and Soler were clearly not on the same page and this could be a problem during the latter stages of qualifying, and into the group stage. Yet va Drake had the calmness about him needed to slice in a free kick from twenty yards out early in the match, that clearly put the opposition on the back foot for the rest of the match. Fresco would come on at the hour mark for the struggling Soler and showed why he has been pressing for the starting job for the last several tournaments when he coolly finished off a wonderful build up with a chip over Bell from ten yards out.

O Ale Ale was never going to be much of a test, especially at the Hatire Memorial, but they did enough to frustrate the home side for the first half hour. Then Calla Soler put on an individual performance that simply took the breath out of the fans. He strike in the thirty-third minute, coming off a feed from Hawk, was marvelous as she met the ball and struck it through the keeper's legs before he could even react. She would double her tally mark on the fifty-ninth minute when she would get on the end of a Morose corner with a half volley that deflected off a defender and inside the upright.

Up next is Taeshan, whose media has labeled this the first meeting between the associations. However, our records show that the two sides meet in the Group stage of World Cup 41 on the second match day, with the Vanorians emerging as 4-1 victors. With a side that soo innappriopately researchers their upcoming opponents, the fear of losing points must by lessened, if only among the supporters. Their own victory over Liventia is well enough a lesson that they are a side capable of pulling results when needed. I suspect that Anárion will have the side ready for the their challengers, and another three points will be added, another step on the way to qualification.

Valanora 2
Espy va Drake (13)
Anti Fresco (79)

Liventia 0
----------------------------------------
Valanora 2
Calla Soler (33, 59)

O Ale Ale 0

Article by Rochendur Nelloththir
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Somewhere above Candelaria and Marquez

Three elves were sitting around a very highly drugged Sam Mc'O'Neil in the passenger part of the aircraft. Athminaion had done as he had been told by Rodiel Isilivanthor, and taken the prisoner to the mystical Godwell in Char Sara. The waters from that well were said to have given the elves back their immortality following the purification ceromony by the last High Priestess. It was also siad that the waters could have many effects to all different types of life if they were to have a drink. For humans, this meant that they would become Slyvari, or half-elven in the Vanorian toungue. They would have the body of the elf, but not the innate magical powers, nor the immortality that the race now enjoyed.

Appearntly Mr. Mc'O'Neil had heard about the well's power, or at least rumors of what it might been able to do, and Athminaion had to use the special mixture of sedatives and hallucinegins to calm the man down enough to force him to take a drink. The results would happen during that night as his body slowly began to morph whilst he slept. A shiek in the morning as Sam felt and saw his now foot long end tipped ears was a melody to his captor.

"Welcome to world Sam, she wanted you to open your eyes, and I do believe they are now clearly open. Care to go back home now? How ever will you ever explain those ears, and your new slender and youthful body? Oh, I now see the desired effect Rodiel wanted, and it is quite justice."

The scene kept playing in his mind as the elves around him started talking about how the were nearing the destination to deliver the package. Despite his drugged state, Sam knew that he was most likely the "package" and that would also explain the parachute that somehow was slid on his back. Without warning, the largest of the elves grabbed him and pulled him up and next to the door.

"Good luck Sam, we'll be seeing you."

As the door flew open, two hands pushed him from behind and another pulled the cord that unleashed parachute. He was 10,000 feet in the air, directly above Albrecht, and slowly coming down into a crowded city at just after ten in the morning, a city that had denied the existance of elves. Now, one of their own officials was half elven, and about to be put on public display.

Scraping Through
Three points, but only just

Starblaydia got their Qualification back on track with a win over the hitherto unknown Draistania in the captial, Jhanna, by two goals to one. Though when all is said and done, the history books will simply record this as a win for Starblaydia, but the story of this match was much more than 'Starblaydia win'. Let's play 'Managerial Cliché Bingo', shall we?

"It was mission accomplished, today, with the three points which are just as valuable at home to Draistania as the are away in Jeruselem. There are no easy games in international football and we knew they'd come here and work hard for ninety minutes, get men behind the ball and be difficult to break down."

Thanks, Lex, anyone else shouting 'House' while reading that? Though Draistania were dogged throughout the match, they certainly tested Starblaydia on more than one or two occasions, but ultimately the class of the Starblaydi players came through to win them the game. Just. Young Timothy Schafler made an error which allowed Diamontii Di Bradini to pounce, the Starblaydi captain scoring her thirty-seventh goal for her country after half an hour.

The goal should have given Starblaydia the impetus to go on and win the match by three or four, but the sense of team and togetherness just wasn't present. As Starblaydia dithered, Draistania pressed the attack, forcing Taniquentar into a save low to his right from Wright. Things didn't get much better after the break, either, when lackluster Starblaydi defending resulted in Louisa Logan cynically fouling Buress and, from the resulting free kick, the very same player bundled the ball past Taniquentar for the equaliser.

Starblaydi fans were furious, their manager was furious and most of the team were furious at each other. Ultimately it was Di Bradini's words that won out on the pitch, backed up by Ázëwyn Fëanáro, that got Starblaydia back together as any sort of a unit, but not before Korff saw his shot tipped over the bar. England made way for Kaii'n and Mus'haf for Canion as Starblaydia stepped things up a gear - in fact they only just began to get out of first gear. Draistania hung on in there and, with around fifteen minutes to go, began to get a hold of the game and laid siege to the Starblaydi penalty area.

The ball broke for Fëanáro, who quickly passed it up to Valrauncion in the centre circle. Looking up, he saw Davidson off his line and looked like he went for glory: a shot from the half-way line. Whether he did or not is still up for debate, but what happened was even better. The ball barely made it to the penalty area with Kaii'n sprinting onto it. It bounced once, Davidson stayed on his line and Kaii'n went for it, throwing himself at the ball. It looped high and over the Draistanian goalie and into the back of the net. Starblaydia were ahead, and would end up winning, but something is rotten in the purple state; it smells like poor teamwork and it needs clearing up. Fast.

Final score from Jhanna City Rec. (50,527):
Starblaydia 2 - 1 Draistania
(D. Di Bradini 31, Kaii'n 79) - (Buress 52)

Dancougar News!!
God damn it, why can't I read a list of numbers?!

Wings defeat Kelssek, except not, because we actually hosted Operata, because we skipped a matchday when we read the program, LOL: Apparently, even in these brutal economics times, our interns are doing their absolute best to find their way out of a job.

We reported, in our last esteemed edition, that our next matchup was in Kelssek, who were unfazed by such lies and instead played host to Colbourne and thumped them mercilessly. Coach Bilbao was told by World Cup officials to get on a plane back to Yuki City because that's where the team was supposed to tackle debutant Operata. They, of course, were just in Dancougar for the Baptism of Fire and didn't seem to have any problems making their way to the stadium. There was a lengthy delay while the Wings switched venues, but the referee was really very nice about it, noting that, "Yeah, that's something Dancougar would totally do. Bunch of wankers." He agreed to delay the kickoff provided that he was kept fed with delicious, moist cake. The promise was made but none was brought in before the team arrived, because insert tired internet meme here.

The team landed in Yuki City, hurried to the pitch, and Bilbao threw on the lineup he'd planned for Kelssek and told them to make due. They did to the tune of 3-0, a confident victory in which the team looked to be in control of the match except for a few rough patches early in the first half. "I think the ability to adapt to any opponent is key," said Bilbao. "But seriously, why didn't anybody tell me the Dancougar News!! was full of [garbage]? That would've been a forfeit if it weren't for the referee being completely awesome and waiting for us to show up." He promised to personally take the referee to a bakery after the match to pick out his spoils. Err, I mean payment. Err, no, that sounds just as bad.

The referee seemed miffed that he hadn't received his cake and it showed in his early decisions. Anything fifty-fifty went Operata's way, much to the displeasure of the crowd, who were already annoyed that they'd had to sit around and wait for the team to show up. I mean, stadium seating is not that nice, after all. In a pinch, it'll do for two or three hours, but even then it's only tolerable if you've brought those little foamy sit-upons for added softness, and most football fans will be up on their feet most of the time anyway, whooping and hollering and waving their Horrible Hand Towels. Operata used the referee's benevolence to their advantage and tested Yuji Watanabe with a few early shots, but the 'keeper stood his ground.

Then the quality of the Wings began to shine through. They didn't need to overpower Operata to win, but a goal or two would be sufficient to take complete control. The first one came in the 24th minute. Who else but Dan Potts? The Port Royal man took a well-timed through ball from Lyle Dylandy and skipped around the defender before shooting low between the 'keeper and the post. A second goal was disallowed for offside in the 28th, and it would take until the stroke of halftime for the Wings to go 2-0 up. Captain Kevin Underwood created his own shooting lane at the top of the box and let it rip. It sailed off his foot and broke to the right, and the 'keeper was late to see the danger and watched it fly past.

The game was well in hand, and once the referee received word that Bilbao would make good on the cake, he removed his bias in the second half. Or maybe he shifted it more in Dancougar's favor. The shrill tweet of the whistle seemed less harsh whenever it came, and challenges which had been bookable in the first half were suddenly just free kicks or completely benign. Operata had a right to question the consistency of the officiating once they went 3-0 down in the 56th, when Shiro Furuya beat the offside trap and tapped home to ice the victory.

For Furuya, the start was a sweet one. He made his debut with most of the current team but was the third wheel to Shishio Jinguuji and Hideo Ikeda back when they were the team's strike force. In the next tournament, he figured to get his shot with Ikeda's role diminished, but Dan Potts made his impressive debut. Since then, Potts and Jinguuji have racked up the goals while Furuya waited for a chance he never got. Domestically, he's been stellar, playing alongside Jinguuji at Central United in Cafundeu before earning a transfer to A.F.F., which we're told is a bit better than Central. It's hard at this point to sit both Potts and Jinguuji, but Bilbao says that Furuya's chance to play is long overdue. This could very well be his last cup, after all.

There were chances for both teams in garbage time, but the last half hour was mostly used by the fans as time to celebrate the win. It was a lead the Wings weren't in danger of losing, and when the whistle sounded, the referee was quick to depart, with Bilbao pulled away from his post-game press conference soon after for what was described as a sugar-based emergency. Following the game, the referee was seen at a local bakery indulging his sweet tooth, and Mitch Hedberg was heard to say, "That [expletive] eats cake!"

Group six roundup: Fortunately for the rest of group six, Dancougar was the only side hopelessly confused by who it was supposed to play. Whether it had an effect on the final scoreline or not is unknown, but perhaps the rest of the teams in contention for a spot in the final tournament were watching the Wings with contempt, bemoaning the breaks given to the world #3. That might've been a motivating factor on a day when the top four teams in the group recording emphatic wins... and Dancougar's was the least impressive.

Rennidan and Qazox both went on the road and won comfortably, 4-0 over St Samuel and 5-0 over Akbarabad, respectively. The offensive explosion of the two newcomers didn't carry over from their opening match, but the defenses sure looked just as shaky. Kelssek, who had to be a little befuddled by the sudden appearance by two teams at their home field, went out and earned a wildly entertaining 7-1 victory against Colbourne.

Bilbao names squad for matchday three: Okay. This time for real. Kelssek is next, right? That's 6v7. Yeah. This time we've got it right. After putting on a clinic for Colbourne, Kelssek should have the Wings on high alert. All of the favorites have performed as expected in the early going, and this game could serve as a defining moment in the Kelssek campaign. A win likely gives them a massive boost in momentum and confidence. It would also convert the Wings into followers rather than leaders, which Bilbao told us he wanted to avoid in our preview.

Yeah, that right there, that's consistency in the face of stupidity!

After this match, the Wings still have to wait until the meat of the schedule arrives, back to back games with Rennidan and Qazox. That makes it important for the Wings to pass this test, because if they do, they stand a very good chance of going into those games at fifteen points. Landro and Yamada are back in the starting linup, while Brad Leeds, who's underperformed a bit, will sit in favor of Sho Yukikaze, who can be just as sloppy at the back. A forward rotation seems to be underway, as Jinguuji and Furuya will lead the charge this time while Potts takes a breather.

STARTING XI: Watanabe; Berber, Yamada, Yukikaze; Dylandy, Midorikawa, Underwood, Voronzoff, Landro; Jinguuji, Furuya
SUBSTITUTES: Brengle; Yamada, Leeds; Whittaker, Ingram; Potts, Stadler

[B]____________________________________________________

"More importantly, the supply situation is reaching critical." Simms sat in his chair with arms folded. He was tapping his finger against his forearm and listened to his subordinates' report with a What now?! face. They'd been fighting hard for a few days, but with the majority of the surface base razed and the entire operation moved underground, he realized that their ability to fight was not a limiting factor... their ability to survive was another story. A lot of supplies had been destroyed in that first attack.

"We have a few options, Colonel," said Brandenstein, who was also present at the staff meeting. "We could end this now with a swift offensive. If we use the last attack by Princess Erica as a blueprint, with the proper planning, we could wipe them out with the next blow."

"Judging from that team's observations, they're easily able to replace lost forces," Simms replied, "and our own force has dwindled. Aside from the Beast Machines, we only have the six DV-3 variable fighters, and your 89th has only nine DAM-15 left. I'd say we need at least three dozen fifteens before we can realistically consider an assault."

"Then I suggest we make use of Nordhausen," Brandenstein replied. "Given the situation, it does us no good to relocate to another base, given that we'd likely be intercepted and there's no guarantee the supply situation will be any better somewhere else. Therefore, our best option is to get reinforcements and supplies from my base. I can have them airlifted immediately. That includes additional Lancers."

"And it won't arouse suspicion?" asked Simms.

"We can probably disguise this as a mobilization drill," Brandenstein mused, "but the fact that our drills here are still officially on does make it somewhat suspicious. We can get away with this once. We should treat this as a buildup for an attack."

Simms nodded in agreement and stood up. His aides also rose, signaling the end of the meeting. "Please do, Brandenstein. We're indebted to you," he said. "We'll provide escorts once they reach combat airspace. The enemy will probably see us move."

"I appreciate it, Colonel," said Brandenstein, returning his hat to his head. He smiled. "We're in this together, after all."

After leaving the briefing room, he made his way back to his quarters. He'd received Stephen's message and was intrigued. Perhaps he could accelerate his plans now that he had a way to directly contact the enemy. I can manipulate this battle directly rather than guiding each party into serving my purposes... He was about to enter when he head someone run up behind him.

"Excuse me, sir!" Brandenstein turned to see the burly pilot Joe struggling to catch his breath after having apparently run down the hallway to intercept him. Sweat rolled off his face. "Excuse me, sir, but there's something I wanted to ask."

"Go ahead," Brandenstein said. This was strange. What help could he give to a Beast Machine pilot?

"It's about the Mammoth's powerplant," Joe began. Brandenstein's expression did not betray a brief flash of worry that rippled through him. "I was told you had it installed for testing, but nobody will tell me what it is, and I can't figure it out myself. I thought it was weird to do something like that in secret, so I just wanted to hear it from you."

Brandenstein paused for a moment to formulate a response. He figured they would've noticed something by now, but he never expected to be called on it. "A blind test," he said at last. "The manufacturer... they weren't sure of its output, so we didn't mention anything so you wouldn't go overboard and possibly damage it. As it turns out, the output is higher than the old one, so no harm done. We haven't been as forthcoming with information since they want to keep their design a secret until the patents go through."

"I see..." Joe said.

That seemed to have satisfied him. Joe still looked a bit unsettled, but Brandenstein had taken the lie about as far as it would go. He put his hand on the pilot's shoulder. "It's good to ask questions, Sakaraya... you'll go far with an attitude like that. But for now, you'll have to be patient. You'll get your answers in due time. One day you'll learn that academic exercises like this are rarely just academic. There are a lot of forces in this world playing tug-of-war, and it's never certain which side is winning."

"I think I understand," Joe replied with a salute. "Thank you for your time, sir."

As soon as he was gone, Brandenstein entered his quarters. The door closed behind him and he walked over to his laptop. He established a secure communications channel with Nordhausen. On the record, he was going to have Stephen mobilize a supply column to get them enough to last through the upcoming battle. Off the record, he wanted to have a chat with this demon lord...

**********

"The mission is simple enough," announced Simms. He stood in front of a map of western Dancougar, with push pins inserted at various locations to mark Nordhausen, Mount Kaguya, Mount Fujiko, and assorted waypoints. "Four transport planes carrying supplies and eight DAM-15 Lancers will take off from Nordhausen at 0400. Additional Lancers will be transported on the ground and leave at midnight. The planes will arrive here at approximately 0600 and the ground column closer to 1800."

Tetsuya let out an impressed whistle. "Looks like we're really gearing up for a war now." He tilted his seat forward. "Although if you're trying to get the jump on an army of demons, flying under cover of darkness isn't going to help at all, now is it?"

"We're well aware of that," Simms replied. "But we've taken stock of the situation and decided that we should make our move sooner rather than later. And the cover of darkness is more to hide our actions from the public, not the enemy."

"So what's the deal, then?" asked Tetsuya. "The supplies are coming from Nordhausen, right? We're between them and the enemy. Why bother with escorts when we can just stop them here?"

"We're outnumbered, you idiot," Jun replied, giving him a quick slap to the back of the head. "We can't reasonably expect that piling everyone here will prevent some from slipping through."

"Then I'm afraid I must ask you to do the unreasonable," Simms said, going back to the map. "We're very thin. Freya team will take off at 0515 and rendezvous with the supply planes here, and then escort them here. Prior to that, at 0500, the remnants of the 89th and Beast Machines will form a defense line two miles to the west. You're to remain there and maintain a buffer zone so the supply planes have time to land, unload, and take off again. Angel team will be on hot standby and will sortie if an enemy attack is detected from Fujiko..."

World Cup Qualifying Schedule
MD1: Greal VS Chutnusak (1-0)
MD2: Greal VS Idanno (2-3)
MD3: Greal VS Urna Eletrônica
MD4: Greal VS Jaseuyeon
MD5: Greal VS Draistania
MD6: Greal VS Jeruselem
MD7: Greal VS Starblaydia
MD8: Greal VS Chutnusak
MD9: Greal VS Idanno
MD10: Greal VS Urna Eletrônica
MD11: Greal VS Jaseuyeon
MD12: Greal VS Draistania
MD13: Greal VS Jeruselem
MD14: Greal VS Starblaydia

Greal 2-3 Idanno

This was probably one of the toughest matches ever played by the Greali. Ross Trent was right that Idanno would be some of the toughest opponents they would ever face. The game turned out to be a surprising loss for Greal. This was not the only strange match in the group.

The game started out with Idanno in possession of the ball, and they scored barely five minutes into the game, showing to the Greali that Idanno was a tougher opponent then they figured. Howard Anderson took the ball and made a dramatic score, but Idanno quickly scored in response. The first half ended with Idanno leading 2-1. Sebastian Expan made a surprising goal on the 86th minute, but Idanno sealed the match in their favor by scoring just before the game was up. The game ended Idanno 3-2 Greal.


Idanno

Greal 2

Howard Anderson (21')
Sebastian Expan (86')

Other matches in the group stage were strange and normal.

Surprising everyone, Jaseuyeon beat Jeruselem 3-2.

Urna Electrônica narrowly won over Chutnusak 1-0.

Starblaydia beat Draistania 2-1.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Our team lost. That was a fantastically close game. Five hundred dollars gone." mourned Roger.

"Clam down man. Now where's the money?"

"Its in my drawer. Here you go."

"Thank you. now what about this upcoming match of Greal versus Urna Electrônica, the top ranked in the group, from its recent matches anyway."

"I'm betting a tie or a narrow win, for four hundred dollars."

"You bounce back pretty quick."

"Thanks. Well what about you?"

"What about me? I'm not in a mood to bet today."

"Are you joking?"

"I never joke."

Oh dear, oh dear. Being unable to beat the mighty Han was one thing; being unable to beat a team of trees is another. But that is exactly what happened to West Zirconia, leaving them with an uphill struggle to qualify for the World Cup.

Despite the 2-0 defeat in Daehanjeiguk, confidence was still high in the West Zirconian camp. On reflection, it could be said that they underestimated their opponents, and were stunned into action within ten minutes of the start of the match, when Fidwah Iit put the home side in front. Things became more desperate when Iit put a second past an uncomfortable-looking Steve Gray a quarter of an hour later.

By half time Gray was a nervous wreck, and had to be replaced by thanatophobe John Hopkins. Only then did Roy Hazell spot the cause of Gray's angst - there was a cat nestling in the branches of Hinzob Gluüûz.

The second half went more according to form, with West Zirconia enjoying most of the possession. Their fearless forays into the Dariusville defence paid off, and two quick-fire goals from Alun Lydiate midway through the half proved to be the saviour of the game.

West Zirconia will see this as two points dropped, and the nation will be expecting better when Markham hosts its first West Zirconian international, against the relative unknowns of Sarzonia.


Dariusville: Prandhir, Brzrg, Flafaffel, Kkg, Algahar, Imahe, Fft, Flazwah, Onex, Gluüûz, Iit.


West Zirconia: Gray (Hopkins 45), Phillips (c), Fox, Munro, Paterson, Hawthorne, Williams, French, McGowan, Forster, Lydiate.

Goals: Dariusville - Iit (10, 27). West Zirconia - Lydiate (68, 73)


--------------------------------------------


West Zirconian Football Association
31-35 Liverpool Street
Moorcroft MT3 3AP


To: Daehanjeiguk Football Association.

Dear Sir,

I write in response to the scenes during our World Cup Qualifying match in Hanseong, where certain Han supporters tried to unsettle the West Zirconian players.

I appreciate that you cannot possibly screen every potential troublemaker out of your matches, and it was unfortunate that events unfolded as they did. May I take the opportunity, however, of congratulating your security staff and the police on their swift action in preventing further disruption. It was the best either of us could expect in the circumstances.

May I assure you that all genuine Han supporters, as well as your officials and players, will receive a most generous welcome when they come to Moorcroft later in the qualifying campaign.

Yours faithfully,


Damon Clarke
Chairman, West Zirconian Football Association

Jeruselem Government News

Princesses lose after referee bungle

Jeruselem's first away game proved a bit of disaster losing to Jaseuyeon 3-2 after the ectasy of beating Starblaydia 1-0 at home. Jacinta Sallad was sitting on a yellow card when Sadie Dallas committed a foul. Instead of giving Sadie a yellow card, the referee who had trouble telling some of the Jeruselemite women apart gave the card to Jacinta Sallad meaning she ended up with a red card and had to be taken off the field. Despite the protest from Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas about putting the yellow card on the wrong person, the decision stood. After that, the Jeruselem defense struggled and Ryan Greenly was forced to take off a striker to put on another defender.

This swung the game the way towards Jaseuyeon, who were glad for a weakened Jeruselem attack and took advantage with the game at 1 ALL. With a home crowd, the Jeruselem defense missing the experienced Jacinta Sallad - despite the best efforts of young Oksana Ferris, the visiting team scored two late goals to sink Jeruselem team. Marie scored at the death to pull back the game to 3-2 but it was too late by then.

Naturally the Jeruselem management sent in a protest letter at the decision which cost the Princesses a chance of winning, hoping the red card in Jacinta Sallad would be removed. Reactions from the team were mixed. This was a first loss at Dazza Dallas stadium for quite a while and the referee had to disappear quickly due to him sending off Jacinta undeservely. The police kept the ref away from the locals knowing something bad would happen to him.

Sadie Dallas blamed herself
"It's my fault but I can't seem to do anything to save the game we lost. I've apologised to Jacinta but she's not blaming me. She's lost respect for that referee."

The coach Ryan Greenly was diplomatic
"Well, it didn't help us at all but it doesn't mean we should have lost the game. Refs make mistakes and this is one mistake. It did make my decisions harder for the game but I think we could have held out for a draw. We do have a young defense and this is just another lesson we must learn from."

Princess Marie was far from forgiving
"It's hard enough to win games without the referee throwing a spanner in the works. Sadie was clearly one who should have been booked and not Jacinta. Me thinks the referee wasn't looking at the jersey numbers and at something else. I mean, if you're going book someone make the f**k sure it's the right person. I mean it's like Kate Sallad number 31 getting booked when I did the foul, me being number 13. This c**p is not international standard. Sure, us Sallads and Dallas girls look the same - but that's why we have numbers of our jerseys."

Count Mikhail Ilyevitch Fedorov of Myedvedeya took over the reigns of Jeru FC starting with a woobly 3-2 win over Googlewoop but tripped over losing to Cassadaigua 1-0. The young U-21 Jeru FC team just failed to perform against the same team which got wooped 4-0 by Jeruselem. The new coach said
"Hey, these are kids. I mean there's no super Dallas girl to save the team here. Anyway, I just got this job so I'm still learning about this team. It's not easy taking over a team who speak French, Hebrew, Arabic and Jibberish ... it's mixed up lot and I've got get the team as a team. At the moment, they aren't quite together but we're getting these. It's funny, saying BEER gets them all excited."

Fresh Sandrian side no match for classy opponent

Changes made by coach Pappas had no effect on the result, as Peisandros struggled on the road at Tynelia, going down 2-0. The fresh-look Sandrians looked anything but fresh; instead homesick and far, far from the form they showed on match day one. However the players who had come in to the team did themselves no shame, instead some of the senior players lacked fire -- including captain Halkias and defender Theodore.

"I'm obviously pretty disappointed with the way I played today," Halkias said at the press conference in Tynelia, "but having said that, I'm still optimistic about where myself and this team are at. I think we were always going to struggle with our first road game. I mean, it was our first taste of playing a top ten opponent in their own country. How many of you really expected us to win?"

"Well, to be honest you're right, I didn't." Piped up the Peisandros Daily sports reporter, Nicola Diamandi di Samarina, who had been travelling with the team since Baptism of Fire 31. "I mean, you played reasonably well at the Baptism of Fire and you played quite well in the first game in Olmypia. The good luck had to run out at some stage."

"Oh, lovely to see you're still here Nicola. Don't you have anything better to do? Shouldn't you be following children's swimming or something? Anyway, as I was saying, we did find it pretty hard with it being our first road game. But I think we can go forward from here. We're very confident of winning in Delphi at the next match day and from there hopefully the road form can improve. We've still got our eyes on qualifying."

"You know that's going to be pretty tough, right? I mean, you need to be in the top three. You can't afford too many more 2-0 thrashings"

"Well Nicola, considering we beat the 17th ranked team in our first game, we think we can produce a few upsets to get in there. I think in our pool we're the fifth highest in terms of ranking, so it's only a few upsets. The belief and desire is there in the boys, it's just a matter of stringing together some good performances -- just like we did at the Baptism. Remember that Nicola? Seven games on the trot? Unbeaten right till the final?"

"Yes Urias, I remember. But there were not that many ranked teams there. Here at the World Cup there most certainly is."

"Okay, I'm done with this. Go away Nicola, we don't like you."

Halkias stormed off which left coach Pappas to discuss the next game, in Delphi, against Rymeria.

"Well, that was interesting. Nicola I just wish you weren't such a bitch. Anyway, focusing on our next game. I've decided against making any chances. I would like to see the guys who are starting to make a really good fist of it. However, if it's not working in the Rymeria game, I'll make some substitutions. We're confident of winning, but having said that, they are due. They've lost their first two games but they're a better side than that. It's going to be a tough game but at this early stage it really is a must win -- for both teams."



The Peisandros Daily
Sandrian team struggle in World Cup - Nicola Diamandi di Samarina

Finally the enormous amount of luck has run out for the Peisandros Football Team at the World Cup qualifying stages. They were comprehensively beaten.....

<Ad on Jeruselem TV>

Dazza: Hi, it's the Dazza here!
Kate: And I'm Skate.
Dazza: We're here to talk boobs!
Kate: Yes, you know what were talking about. Them things babies suck poking out the front of females. I'm sure men know all about them.

Dazza: Yes, it's breast cancer awareness time.
Kate: We want everyone to start checking.
Dazza: Every year, women all over Jeruselem and the world die from breast cancer.
Kate: Many die because they don't know they have it.

Dazza: We're appealing to everyone to check themselves and if they trouble, get their man to help out.
Kate: Yes, in the Dallas household we always get our men to help out. They don't complaint too much.
Dazza: If you find irregular lumps that aren't supposed to be there, please get a doctor to check.
Kate: It is important for an early diagnosis and treatment.

Dazza: I'm getting old, and for me it's really important. The last thing an oldie like wants is cancer.
Kate: Yes, cancer spreads through the body and if it's not treated in time then it's too late.
Dazza: Breast cancer is easy to treat and diagnose so there's no excuse to check now.
Kate: I know there's many out there who think looking at boobies is sinful and dirty. But no one wants their Mum, sister or grandma and other female relatives to die because of breast cancer.

Dazza: So to raise awareness, we're having a Pink Tiara campaign.
Kate: Everyone woman or even womanly men can wear a pink tiara to raise awareness of this problem.
Dazza: You can buy a pink tiara at any Dallas business. We're giving all money directly to breast cancer research and treatment.
Kate: So everyone, get behind your woman and check for signs of breast cancer,

Dazza: For more information, check out the www.boobiecancer.com.jew web site.
Kate: You can see my sister Jacinta topless on the site!
Dazza: Yes, something for guys there too.
Skate: Please support our cause.

Dazza: Jacinta is in the instructional videos tell you what to look for and how do it.
Kate: We check and we're lucky we don't have a lot cancer in our family.
Dazza: I know a few people with this problem and they have won the battle but they found their cancer early.
Kate: Yes, Mum's sister Mary Sallad had breast cancer but she took on and won.

Dazza: I've seen old school friends die because of this disease. It's a long slow death, something I don't want others to suffer.
Kate: Don't let ignorance or shame stop you from saving your own life. You only have one chance in life here.
Dazza: That's it, so everyone - don't be scared - be pro-active.
Kate: And have fun doing it, right Mum!

THE ROCKET REPORT

VICTORY IN OLYMPIA

Olympia, Newmanistan- For the first time in their history, Newmanistan won the second game of a qualifying session, by holding off a pesky Quintessence of Dust team at Olympia Field. The win was crucial for the Rockets to pick up, having been defeated by Septentrionia, the nation that is widely considered the opponent in which Newmanistan will have to find a way past if they are to qualify for World Cup 44. After the 3-2 win, they’ll look to overcome their worst nightmares against the Holy Empire.

Both teams took to the offense right away, which in Olympia is actually the kind of football they love to see. It would be important for Newmanistan to score first as they did not want to have to play from behind against a team that has some pretty good weapons. With both clubs shutout in their opener, you just had that feeling that there were going to be goals in this one. Jessica Jensen established herself right away, setting up two great opportunities for forwards in the box, one to Roger Longhorn in the 10th and the other to Dennis Young in the 14th, but they were defended well, and neither could get a shot off that would test Rockets goalkeeper Chris Kusler all that much. Young did campaign for a penalty, feeling that Kevin Haynes was tugging on to his jersey a little too much, but the referee was not having it. For Newmanistan, Alex Parnett began to establish himself too in the midfield although he got booed by some in the crowd. There is somewhat of a consensus that Parnett screwed over the Olympia Gladiators in his one year of playing here before agreeing to the transfer with Albrecht Turkish of Candelaria And Marquez. It’s not that he went there that gets some Olympia fans still a little miffed at him, it’s the fact that he seemed to campaign for the transfer during his season here. It’s all pretty unfair really, but goes to show the kind of environment that there is in Olympia. This is not an easy place to play. Kyle Carrigan, the lone current Gladiator on the national team was applauded every time he touched the ball. And in the 23rd minute, a touch by Carrigan led to the opening goal of the match. Able to get by Frederic Renard with a shifty move, he delivered a perfect cross into the box. Brett Carlson was positioned very well for a header and he put it on net. Finding it’s way past Winchester Furman, the Rockets had themselves a one-goal lead. It would be a very short-lived lead as the visitors went on the attack right away. For Renard, it was all about making amends, and he took a powerful strike from nearly twenty yards out that deflected off Jeremy Brooker and bounced perfectly to the foot of Roger Longhorn. At that point, Longhorn had Kusler at his mercy, and in the 26th minute, we were all tied up. That would be all the goal scoring of the first half, but there would be chances for both sides before the referee blew the whistle for the intermission. Overall, it was a pretty clean game, few fouls and no cards in the first half.

During halftime, Brian Carson insisted that his team needed to play better. Quintessence of Dust, despite not being ranked was proving to be a game opponent, and they should have expected nothing less from them. They had been through World Cup qualifying before, so they were well aware of what it took. The players had a pretty good talk amongst themselves about what they felt they needed to do, and coming out of the locker room, they had confidence that the second half could be all Rockets.

At the beginning of half number two, the Rockets remained focused on going for the attack, but the back end was doing a much better job then they had in the first half, particularly with Jessica Jensen and Frederic Renard, the players that seemed to be on the best form of anyone wearing black and gold (OOC: Your road and my home would have a color conflict). In the 56th minute, after some uneventful back and forth midfield play, the Rockets scored a goal that looked very familiar to one they scored against Dancougar in the pre-qualifying friendly. A long ball by Jeremy Brooker caught the visitors upfield, and with Parnett sprinting up the center of the pitch, the visitors were in deep trouble. Newmanistan had both numbers and speed. Parnett would find Jeremy McAllister who blasted #95 into the top left corner to make 2-1 in favor of the Rockets. A billboard has been placed on the sideline of all Rockets home games that will show the countdown as Jeremy approaches the 100 interregional goal mark, something that is most likely to happen during qualifying. #95 came at a big time, but there was still more time to play. In the 71st minute, this resilient Quintessence of Dust team would have another answer. With many people forward in an aggressive commitment to the attack, the Rockets defenders had a tough time covering everyone. Parnett and Carrigan, to the chagrin of Brian Carson were too far upfield to help out and it would do the Rockets in. And you better believe that Carson will have a word with them about it. Jessica Jensen, who had a fantastic game tonight, got the much deserved goal, and suddenly this match was tied at two. The fans were getting uneasy. Allowing three points to slip away in this match would create such a deep hole to overcome in order to qualify. Fortunately, there would be one more goal tonight. In the 83rd, off a corner kick, Kyle Carrigan delivered it perfectly and Jennifer Vilardi, who had been rather quiet up to this point, delivered the game winning goal on a pretty bicycle kick, and the Rockets were out in front. From there, the defense held their strong and preserved a 3-2 win for Newmanistan.

The victory evens up the Rockets record at 1-0-1, and now they will travel to the Dreamed Realm for the very first time, and from the sounds of it, it will not be a very pleasant experience as they meet up with what has only been referred to as “your worst nightmare.”

Here is some post-game reaction:

Carson: “We won, so I’m pleased. I still think we have some work to do, though. We haven’t had a game yet, including the friendlies, where I felt we were on top form from start to finish. The effort is there though, so I believe that we will get there.”

Brooker: “Quintessence of Dust has a pretty good team. Hopefully they can help us out with Septentrionia. Now we can go get this nightmare crap over with.”

Kusler: “The guys played very well in front of me. The second goal I wish I had back especially. We show promise but I agree with the coach that we aren’t quite where we need to be right now.”

Parnett: “Oh yeah it’s just so nice to get booed by your home fans. Fortunately this is just an Olympia thing, and I hope they are happy as they just showed the entire Empire why they have the reputation that they do.”

McAllister: “We responded when we need to. This was a fun game to play, and they are a better team then people might think. We buried our best chances tonight and that was the key to the match. We’re not going to get bogged down by this hype over our next game. It’s a football match, and we will do what we do best.”

NEWMANISTAN 3
Carlson (23')
McAllister (56')
J. Vilardi (83')

QUINTESSENCE OF DUST 2
Longhorn (26')
Jensen (71')

Akbarabad..

"Come one there Carl!!!! Don't let him get by you! There ya go.. Good kid!" yelled Fernando Turek along the sidelines of the Pheonix bench. "Bonnie, Get ready to go in, I think Michelle needs to come out."

As the ball trickled past him out of bounds, Bonnie Young trotted onto the pitch for Michelle de Barre, who looked visibly upset at being subbed for in the 64th minute of a game Qazox was leading 4-0.

"Coach, why did you take me out?" Michelle asked as she came towards the bench.

"Why? Why? Beacuse you were slacking off out there. I know we're up by four and there's still 25 minutes left, but you're lollygagging around out there." Turek replied.

"But I had two goals and an assist, just in the first 20 minutes, Coach. I think that I earned a bit of a break out there." de Barre casually replied.

"You don't earn shit out there on the pitch, not unless you give 100% all the time. Yes you've had a good game, in your mind. But let me tell you what I saw out there. You fail to properly defend throw-ins, you fail to mark players on corners and you ease off the defense when the team has a big lead." Fernando replied. "Offensively, Michelle, you are one of the most gifted players I've seen play for Qazox in a long time. But just because you play a forward position, don't mean you can slack on the defense. OK?"

Michelle just looked at Turek for a minute, with defiance in her eyes, but then the crowd started to boo as her replacement scored to make it 5-0 Pheonix. Turek looked back at de Barre and beckoned her to come closer to him.

"Now, watch what Bonnie does on defense here." He told her as Akbarabad prepared to take the face off. Michelle and Fernando watched as Bonnie Young raced up and down the pitch marking Hamid Kabir for the next few minutes.

"You see? She plays like she wants it, you just play to score. Goals are good, can't win too many games if you don't score, but if you don't stop the other team from scoring, you ai'nt gonna win too many games either." Turek said.

Michelle hung her head and sat back on the bench, but with a thoughtful look on her face.

'That's one down, 10 to go.' thought Fernando, as he turned his attention back to the game.

The Zito Zip
Terreiro de Ogum came,
Terreiro de Ogum saw,
Terreiro de Ogum lost.
Only one goal scored,
Pauline Utley in 77th minute.
No red cards this time.
Mark Cranell did well,
as did Sonya Lefountaine,
as Subs for Suspended players.
Up next a long trip,
To the Euro Federations.
Unknown players or team,
Wombats look for easy win.


Schedule:
MD1: Secristan D 1-1 (0-1-0)
MD2: Terreiro de Ogum W 1-0 (1-1-0)
MD3: @ Euro Federations
MD4: Tynelia
MD5: @ Rymeria
MD6: Peisandros
MD7: @ Lovisa
MD8: @ Secristan
MD9: @ Terreiro de Ogum
MD10: Euro Federations
MD11: @ Tynelia
MD12: Rymeria
MD13: @ Peisandros
MD14: Lovisa

Purpurrote Ritter, zum der Weltmeister gegenüberzustellen und von einer Mannschaft zu nummerieren

Purple Knights To Face World Champions and Number One Team

In gerade sieben Stunden nehmen die Ritter auf der Oberseite gesäten Valanora Mannschaft. Die Spieler und die Trainer kamen gestern im Land der Elfe an. Sie zum ersten Mal überhaupt werden die Weltmeister spielen und eine in der Welt nummerieren. Brian Ying Uing hat it' gesagt; s-Zeit, etwas Reisen abzureißen und hoffnungsvoll wir können die tun. Die Spieler werden oben übersetzt, wie über 20.000 Fans von Taeshan sind, die die Reise gebildet haben. Lässt Hoffnung, die sie gewinnen können.

In just seven hours the Knights will take on the top seeded Valanora team. The players, and coaches arrived yesterday in the land of the Elves. They for the first time ever will be playing the World Champions, and number ones in the world. Brian Ying Uing has said it's time to knock down some giants, and hopefully we can do that. The players are geared up, as are the over 20,000 fans from Taeshan who have made the trip. Lets hope they can win.

Pruxton Globe

Opening a new stadium with the 5th ranked team in the world is a challenge, and for 80 minutes, the Zombies were up to that challenge, holdign Cafundeu to only 6 shots on net and 1 goal. But the final 10 minutes saw the Cafundelese just obliterate the defense, which, mysteriously was infested with beetles with actually made the zombies itch, which of course allowed Hubert Munch to score the winning goal. The first goal ever scored at the International Prux Football Center was off the foot of Dênis Conte Alves in the 16th minute, which co-incidided with the infestation of beetles. Prux' first goal in the International Prux Football Center, also the first goal these qualifiers came in the 39th minute when Zombie Pelé slipped a shot through 2 defenders and past Francisco Kardec.

Dr. Mkembe has declined to speak with any reporters about the strange animal attacks upon the Zombies, but sources close to the doctor say that his majik is weakening and therefore the team is more succeptable to other magics and in fact may allow the team to break free of his spell. While we here at the Golbe really don't believe in voodoo, magic or other such nonsense, how else can you explain that Prux has made back-to-back World Cups with a team of re-animated corpses?


The schedule is this: (along with our Predictions for the Zombies)
Game 1: @ Yafor 2 LOST 0-2
Game 2: vs. Cafundeu (LOST 1-2)
Game 3: vs. Bears Armed (Win 4-1)
Game 4: vs. Iseerussiafrommyhouse (Win 3-0)
Game 5: @ Brightonburg (Win 3-1)
Game 6: vs. The Blouman Empire (Draw 2-2)
Game 7: @ Myedvedeya (Draw 1-1)
Game 8: vs. Yafor 2 (Draw 1-1)
Game 9: @ Cafundeu (Loss 1-4)
Game 10: @ Bears Armed (Win 2-1)
Game 11: @ Iseerussiafrommyhouse (Win 4-2)
Game 12: vs. Brightonburg (Win 4-1)
Game 13: @ The Blouman Empire (Loss 1-2)
Game 14: vs. Myedvedeya (Win 2-1)
PREDICTED RECORD: 7-3-4 24pts 3rd in Group.
ACTUAL RECORD: 0-0-2 0pts

http://img85.imageshack.us/img85/7065/dailyuniversianxk5.jpg

"Incredible" Tie For Universians
Draw Earns Prefects First Point in Cup, after Game 1 Loss

THE 44th WORLD CUP The Archregimancy is the 12th ranked national team in the world. But that did not deter our (now unranked) stars in green, whose defense in Game 2 in the group stage of the 44th World Cup was so impressive that The Archregimancy could not manage a single goal. The Prefect's ineffectiveness on offense led to a 0-0 tie which one player described as "feel way more like a win than a draw."

The Prefects will have to face some of the most difficult teams in the World Cup through the first few matches in group play. The second part of the first half of qualification will be a much easier for our stars in green. For Universitus to have any chance at moving forward in the tournament, it will need to keep its head above water facing the well-established teams, and win most of the games against the others.

The tie against The Archregimancy proves that Universitus has the capability to do just that. Here's to our stars in green.

Game 1: Universitus University 0 – 2 Quakmybush
Game 2: The Archregimancy 0 - 0 Universitus University
Record: 0-1-1 Points: 1

[i]The Daily Universian: the first news source for all Universians

The Akbarland government has finally commented on it's world cup qualification efforts after a breakdown of communications left it isolated for a few days. A satisfactory 3-3 away draw to St Samuel has been followed up by a disastrous 5-0 home defeat to Qazox, leaving the team with a lot to do in order to qualify. With practically all other teams in the group being higher ranked, chances of qualifying appear increasingly remote and the team may just have to play for the experience this time.

(Somewhere in the Dreamed Realm)

“Brrrrrriiiiiannnnn......... Brrrrriiiiiaaaannnnnnn” a voice whispered

Rockets coach Brian Carson had just lied down trying to get some sleep before the next match against the Holy Empire.

“Ok, ok, very funny. Which one of you is that.” Carson answered out, but no one listened.

“It’s meeeee..... Brriiiian. You know......”

Carson sighed, this “worst nightmare” stuff wasn’t going to start already was it? Suddenly a ghostly face appeared over his bed. A face that looked remarkably like....

“Simeone Di Bradini?!” Carson asked.

“Very good Brian. For yes it is I, Simeone Di Bradini and we have a little score to settle.”

“We do? What do you mean, I don’t know of any score that needs to be settled but if I did something wrong I truly apologize.” Carson replied, in fear of what this score would be.

“I have placed a curse on you..... you and your group of Rockets......”

“Uhm, why?” asked Carson.

“In my last days I could not see my glorious Starblaydi team be victorious. Instead it was you. The Di Bradini Cup and the Baptism of Fire I had to watch you guys win and then use me as motivation. You will never make the World Cup. Ever! Cup of Harmony forever!!! And your other teams.... you think its just a coincidence that you guys always LOSE in finals now. I tease you by letting you get there and I take it away. The Curse of Di Bradini! AHAHA!”

“We’ve never used you, I’ve always truly respected you.....” The image fades off into the distance, not responding. What just happened, thought Carson. Is this a curse or is it just the nightmares starting......

(Meanwhile, in Jeremy McAllister’s room)

Jennifer Vilardi (not the real one, but Jeremy wouldn’t know any better) walks into the room, with her head held highly in the air.

“Jeremy, I’ve had enough, I’m telling your wife.”

“Wait, what? Jennifer, why? Why now? Why here?

“You thought you could sleep with me and she would never know didn’t you. Didn’t you Jeremy? Mister great goal scorer.”

“C’mon Jenn, that was ten years ago. It’s done with now. I wasn’t even married that night, in fact she was just beginning to be my girlfriend.”

“Oh like that will matter. And I can always exaggerate. I know a lot about you Jeremy.”

“I thought we were friends.”

“She’s going to be so pissed off at you. I wonder what J-Mac junior will think.”

“Jenn come on, why right now? We’re supposed to be a team. Can’t you at least wait until after the World Cup?”

“And allow you more time?! Never! It’s over Jeremy, OVER!”

(The lifelike ghost of Jennifer Vilardi leaves just as a loud, “DADDY NOOOOO!!!! HOW COULD YOU!” voice screams out loud, sounding much like his son.)


(In Brett Prescott’s room.....)

“Hey Brett!” shouts a voice.

“Uhm, hello?”

“You walking with a cane yet, old man?”

“Who is this?”

“Oh and your son Billy when you get back to Newmanistan he’s got a secret for you that he’s finally going to tell you.”

“Who are you?”

“Don’t worry about who I am. Do you want to know his secret in advance or not?”

“I’ll wait until he tells me.” (The voice was not happy with this answer. Brett’s bed begins to shake violently, non-stop.)

“Would you like the shaking to stop?”

“Screw you. I ain’t scared of my worst nightmare. What can you possibly do to me?”

“You’ve always been a bold one, Brett. Too bad your son will have the pay the price for it. HAHA!”

“Wait, come on now.” (The voice doesn’t respond back).

(In Kyle Carrigan’s room)
You’ll need to read this post to “get this”: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13889562&postcount=100

“Kyle.... Kyle....”

“Who’s there?” (An image of his father’s face appears over him. The father that died in the accident referenced in that post I linked too).

“Dad? You’re here.”

“I couldn’t miss it. Thanks to you I’m here and not still alive.”

“What?”

“It’s all your fault Kyle. All your fault that the accident happened. All your fault that Kara was paralyzed.”

“Dad how can you say this?”

“You made us stop for a snack on the way home. If we didn’t stop we wouldn’t have crossed with the drunk driver.”

Kyle doesn’t respond as he breaks down in tears instead.

“Sorry it had to be this way Kyle. You’ve let us all down. It’s all your fault. Remember that.” (The image disappears).

(In Scott LaFave’s room) You’ll need to read this post to “get” this: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13859013&postcount=41

“Hey Scott guess what?” A voice asked.

“Who’s there? Scott asked as an image of his mother appeared beside him

“I’m back, Scott. It’s me, your mother. I escaped from prison and I have come to take you back. No more of this football crap.”

“Mom? How’d you get out?”

“Don’t worry about the details son. I love you, everything I did was because I wanted the best for you. Now look at you. You don’t even play in Newmanistan anymore. How could you go to Dancougar. You’ve betrayed everyone. So now, I have come to take you home. Home to where you will play basketball just like I always wanted you too.”

“Mom, I still don’t want to play basketball. I hate basketball. I love football.”

“Nonsense. You see my prayers are already answered somewhat.”

“How?”

“Well you are playing in Dancougar aren’t you? That’s where those international basketball championships are. We can send you there and you can play in that. It will be so awesome!”

“That’s not why I am in Dancougar, I play in Dancougar because......”

“Say no more. You play in Dancougar to try and start your basketball career and leave this football crap behind. I’ll be going now but I will be there after the game to pick you up son. Remember, I love you.”

(The image leaves)


It’s starting already and it’s not even gametime. Each player has their own individual worst nightmares, but as a collective team, Newmanistan has always prided itself on strong team chemistry. Getting players distracted and up at arms at one another, well, that may just be the grand plan.

St Samuel (0) 0 v Rennidan (2) 4
Venue: Park of King's, Saint Maria, UFK of St Samuel

After a well earned point at home against Akbarabad, St Samuel took on the 3rd ranked team in Group 6, Rennidan. From the beggining, it was clear that the favourites had firm control of the fixture and the Latin Crusaders, were never allowed to get started. De Villion and Sensini worked hard in central midfield to try and kick start St Samuel's performance, but were unable to capitalize on there hard work.

Rennidan found themselves two-nil up after twenty minutes and it was beggining to look like that Rennidan would be in double figures by half time if something drastic didnt happen. And the slightest bit of hope came in the form of central midfielder, Salvatore Rocka, who came on as substitute, to replace striker, Enzo Mazzeranni. The change of formation too 4-5-1 bulked out the St Samuel midfield and managed to plug the gaps in the Latin Crusaders defence. But whilst St Samuel began to tighten in defence, the lone striker, Sebastien Atalanta sruggled to make an impact and was the only St Samuel player to have a shot on target in the first half.

In the second half, St Samuel stuck with a 4-5-1 formation, with captain and midfielder, Aaron De Villion, playing a defensive midfield role. The Latin Crusaders continued to ride the storm and repelled a twenty minute bombardment by Rennidan. With ten minutes to go of the match, St Samuel began to attack, looking to get a goal or two, however, Rennidan capitalized on this change of tactic and scored two late goals to make it 4-0.

By the time of the final whistle the Latin Crusaders went in bruised, batterd, tired, but holding there heads up high. The fans shows there gratitude to there brave team, who despite a heavy four-nil defeat, battled well. St Samuel will hope that they can perform some what better in there next fixture, which will prove an even tougher task as they travel for an away fixture against Qazox.

http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/7993/dailyturkjo0.png

Sinan Stays in Country
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42871000/jpg/_42871593_fire_afp416.jpg

An increasingly common sight in Kose Sehir

Sinan Kose has decided to stay in the country due to the, still rampant riots spreading around Kose Sehir. His absence adds to that of other starting striker Oktay, meaning the two reserves will step up to start. The Riots have become far more organised and have set up bases in the central parts of Kose Sehir, surrounding the KCFF. A Commander in the Army who will remain unnamed said to our source: " Let them have the KCFF they're the ones who caused all this." then he was dragged away by other troops into a dark corner where loud, high pitched screams could be heard. It was at that point our source decided to run away, which as many will agree was a good call.

Coach Apologizes

Hakan Ismir has apologized to all of those effected by the riots that have engulfed the Capital, he said " I would like to apologize, I could not be more sorry, I mean if I knew that the country was football obsessed I would have got the team to stop the drinking before matches, but that's the past."

Courtney's Space

During World Cup 43, we did a pretty good job against the top seeds in the group. Many people dismissed it as a fluke, especially when we collapsed in the second half last time. I don't see it that way. While I'm not going to sit here and tell you that we are all of the sudden going to have expectations of qualification, it does mean that as a team, we rise up against the top teams. Only getting a draw against Deep South Sopia was very disappointing to us, as it was a team that we felt we should have gotten a win against. We wanted to try and make up for it against Jeru FC, to try and steal a point in Concord Heights. We got back to the basics, which is strong defending, and great goalkeeping by Rachel Terry. Jeru FC had a lot of the early possession as you all would have noticed by watching the game, but our positioning was sound, and I think that our defenders would tell you that they always felt as though they were in control of things. I don't believe that Jeru FC took us too lightly because they saw what their main team did to us in the friendly that was before qualifying. I say this because they have a Myedvedeyan coach. Myedvedeya knows what we are capable of, as we played in the Baptism of Fire semifinal and had a pretty good match between us. They had a young team, and maybe that had something to do with it. In the second half, we took control of this match. They were on their heels and it was good to be on the attack. Their keeper did a pretty job, but when I was able to erase that zero in the 76th minute, it was a great feeling. They say the first one is the toughest one to get, and now that I have the goal, I will be hoping that there is more on the way. I'm proud of the way we played tonight. Again we've showed that we'll take any challenge at any time, and will look to build off of this.

Up next is a pair of road games, against Googlewoop and Sorthern Northland. So far, we have seen the home teams have a lot of success in qualifying so we will be looking to buck that trend. Googlewoop is coming off their Baptism of Fire and had a performance much like we did four years ago in that tournament. That should make it a rather passionate match and we will be up for the challenge. Getting a second win there will be pretty important. After that it is Sorthern Northland, a nation we drew with in the Di Bradini Cup. That means nothing here as the teams are completely different, but we were the nation that kept them from advancing to knockouts in that tournament, so we expect them to be more then ready for us. That's just fine with us, we like it better that way. We'll take it as it comes and hope for more Dagan success. I would like to close this out by thanking all of our fine fans for coming out to the game tonight and supporting us. We understand that many of you make sacrifices to come to our soccer games and all of us sincerely appreciate the support that you give.

A hotel in Delphi, Peisandros
(Costa, George and Dorian Theotokis in their room)

CT: George, you're a pussy for not playing with your sore ankle.

GT: Screw you.

DT: You know Costa is right G, it's not even that sore is it?

GT: Sorry what was that? Did I hear someone with no international caps speaking?

DT: ...

GT: Didn't think so. Anyway, coach just doesn't want it to get worse. I mean, Costa you may score more goals, but I do work pretty hard. Infact last time I checked, I'm only three goals behind you.

CT: I just don't want my twin to feel too left out, you know I love you buddy!

DT: You guys are both just jealous I get to be here without even playing. But I don't know for how long. Apparently the chairman was getting pissy at coach for playing his son too much.

CT: Fuck that, you know Calisto is a good keeper. But nah, you can't be too far away from earning your shot. As long as that little kid Ektor doesn't get a go before you.

DT: That little twig 16yr old? No chance. He can have my spot when I retire though.

GT: True, he is pretty small. Good talent there though. Anyway are we gonna win tomorrow Cos?

CT: I fucking hope so.

DT: You better.

CT: I wanna shut up that reporter, Nicola. She hates me.

GT: If you get a hat-trick, I'll do your washing in Terrerio de Ogum.

CT: Deal. And if I don't?

DT: You have to ask out Nicola for dinner.

CT: Haha, you got yourselves a deal. Now fuck off. This superstar needs sleep.

OOC - apologies to those with slow connections; I didn't realise how big the image is, and I can't produce a smaller one right now


"... but why, Father? Why must we suffer? You are acknowledged as the greatest coach in Archregimancy history. Why must we find ourselves unable to beat a bunch of unranked prefects?"

"Are you unfamiliar with the Icon of the Heavenly Ladder of John Klimakos, my son?"

"Of course not, Father Anthony."

"Let us look at it together, young Innocent."

http://blog.wired.com/photos/uncategorized/ladder.jpg

"Tell me, what do you see?"

"I see monks on the ascencion to Heaven."

"Is that all you see?"

"The 30 rungs are symbolic of the 23 vices that the monastic must overcome - and then the 7 virtues that he must attain - before he can achieve theosis."

"Indeed. But are all of the monks successful?"

"No, Father. Some fall prey to vice, are tempted from the true path, while one even falls at his inability to achieve virtue."

"There was a philosopher in Ordinary Reality - a deist and a democratic radical, but a wise man in his own way - who once wrote 'that which we achieve too lightly, we esteem too easily; it is dearness only which gives everything its value.' Might this not also apply to the life of the monastic, young Innocent?"

"Indeed, Father."

"So just as the monastic who seeks to climb the Heavenly Ladder must face temptation and overcome vice, so are obstacles placed in the path of the monastic football team which seeks to qualify for the World Cup. Let not this one poor result overcome your desire to achieve qualification. Instead, ponder its meaning, pray, and perhaps you will come to discover inspiration in this temporary obstacle."

"Yes, Father. Forgive me my moment of doubt."

"There is nothing to apologise for, my son. Without doubt, faith is meaningless."

To: WCC Chairman
From: David Masteron
Re: Violence in Kose Sehir

Dear Sir/Madam,

I write to you today on behalf of the concerns made by the Demot Footballing Association on the ongoing violence in Kose Sehir. With deaths and severe injuries being a common scene at their matches, it is clear that the safety of the players and fans can not be guranteed. As this is the case, the DFA have voted to petition you, and the entire World Cup Commitee, to put sanctions of the FA of Koseli Cumhuriyetler that would require all home matches be played in an empty stadium until which time the safety of the traveling players and supporters can be ensured. If this is not acceptable, then we will move for a motion that our match away fixture that is to be played there be moved to a neutral third country to ensure the safety of all those who wish to watch the match, and the participants themselves.

Sincerely,
David Masteron ~ President of the DFA

(Rockets players gather a few hours before gametime)

Brooker: The pitch of the Dreamed Realm, let’s play some kick-ass football tonight guys. This is where we come up big!

McAllister: Yeah, I guess you are right.

Brooker: What’s the matter?

McAllister: Jenn, man, she’s going to tell my wife I slept with her ten years ago. She came into my room and told me.

J Vilardi: Hello Jeremy’s, what’s up? Who went into your room? Shannon?

McAllister: You did!

J Vilardi: I did not, silly! Those ghost stories getting to you?

Drummond: There you are Jennifer, I have to talk to you. Last night you coming into my room and non-stop gloating about taking over my starting position was absolutely uncalled for.

J Vilardi: What?! I didn’t go into your room either?!

Drummond: Don’t play games with me. I could get my starting job back very easily. You could be involved in some kind of accident.

McAllister: And Drummy, she says she’s going to tell my wife about what happened ten years ago.

J Vilardi: I did not! I wouldn’t do that to you and it was ten years ago!

Drummond: Stop denying it, I can smack you right now and ......

Brooker: STOP IT!!!! Stop it right now!

Drummond: Why? Are you gonna help her do this stuff.

McAllister: Just like you bolted South Charlotte for the big Cafundeu money.

Drummond: What’s wrong with Cafundeu money? You got a problem with people who decide to play football overseas?

Brooker: Alright just STOP!!!! Don’t we see what’s going on here. This is the worst nightmare stuff, trying to sabotage us.

McAllister: Yeah that’s an easy cover up. Maybe we’re not just one all big happy family after all.

Carlson: Hey everyone! What’s up!

McAllister: Yeah, hi Brett.

Carlson: This is so cool some person came into my room and told me that I am going to break all of your records one day, Jeremy. I will be the best Newmanistanian football player ever!! That’s right baby!

McAllister: Good for you if you break my records. What’s good for the country is good for me.

Carlson: Yeah but they’ll all forget about you. I will be the greatest!!! That’s right! Brett Carlson, superstar sensation!!!

J Vilardi: What’s with him?

Carlson: Oh Jenny don’t be mad that I have done anything with you. I’m just not interested.

J Vilardi: Since when do I care?

Drummond: Hey Carlson, fuck you!

Carlson: Alright you has-been loser of a starting job to a girl. Peace!

Brooker: I’ve never seen him act like that before.

McAllister: Yeah that was odd, we’ll see just how hard I try to set him up for a goal tonight.

J Vilardi: Yeah really.

McAllister: You too. I can’t believe you’re going to tell my wife something that’s ten years in the past.

J Vilardi: Just stop already.

Prescott: Hey all, you guys get visited by the ghosts?

McAllister: I don’t know, maybe.

Prescott: I had one try to haunt me. What they don’t know is Brett Prescott isn’t scared of anything. You hear that worst nightmare?! I fear nothing!

Brooker: I wouldn’t tempt anything.

Carson: (shouting): Alright sorry I am late. Everyone gather around.

(Players oblige)

Carson: Guys I’m sorry if I have let you down. Four World Cups we have tried to qualify for and I just haven’t had the answers. We just have to face the facts that we will only ever go to the Cup of Harmony.

McAllister (among others): What the hell?

Carson: They use us. Make us believe we have a chance and then we can never make the World Cup Proper. We’re just not cut out for this.

Carlson: Let me be the coach. I am the greatest ever!!!

McAllister: Shut up! (Pushes Carlson, Carlson pushes back. Then Jennifer Vilardi and Drummond start going at it, and Prescott and Brooker. Before you know it the whole team is engaged with a teammate).

Carson: Enough! (Players stop) I don’t need to see anyone get hurt here. The medical facilities aren’t the greatest. At least save it for when we get back.

Brooker: I think a lot of this has been waiting to happen.

Carson: Yeah well I have no strategy. Who cares we’re cursed anyway. Just play.

McAllister: Cursed?

Carson: Simeone Di Bradini has placed a curse on us because we were the last team that won the Cup in his name while he was still alive.

McAllister: Simeone would never do that. (Suddenly a roar of thunder is heard)

Drummond: Or maybe he would.

J Vilardi: Guys don’t you see, this is just the worst nightmare stuff that we were told was going to happen. Simeone wouldn’t curse us. (More thunder). It’s trying to get in our heads just so the Holy Empire can win the match. Look at (Jenn coughs, and coughs again, suddenly she loses her ability to talk).

Carlson: Hahahaha!

McAllister: Would you stop it?

S Vilardi: Ok like my sister was saying, the nightmare is getting in our heads. We ha.... (coughs and like her sister, loses her ability to talk)

Carlson: This is funny!

Carson: Yeah so the game is in two hours. Be here and play. See you later.

(The team goes their own separate ways. Brett Carlson, who was possessed during this whole time has the evil spirit leave his body. But will his teammates forgive him?)

Shall we have an RP cut-off for Matchday Three? Oh yes, let’s, mother! And here's the scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14367554&postcount=5).


All further posts count towards Matchday Four.

Alexandria Times-Tribune-Star-News-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Inquirer

Sports Section

Warriors pick weird roster

In another strange move by the MFA where they muttered something about "glory days" the Milchama Warriors have decided to first name a roster, which is good considering we played 3 matchdays using only guys in face masks, who sucked, and named it weirdly. Instead of a modern roster full of players who actually play in the MFL and other various foreign leagues the MFA named an all star team of all it's past players to be the roster for this cup. Therefore Marc J. Floren will again score goals, only this time along side Avi Belmowitz, with J.J. Faren crossing. Chase Mergle will again use violent tackles, only with Silas Milckey able to flank him. Billy Timmons will actually be on a good team for once in his life.

Or at least that's what should happen. Unfortunately the MFA forgot to notice that all the players (except for Floren who is in exceptional good health for someone who has been around for at least 21 World Cups) are dead or vegetables. They said something about "Dreamed Realm Technology" and "Cloning.' However this paper, for one, thinks it's a bunch of B.S. and we're going to be screwed this World Cup. I do know one thing, we will find out for sure soon.

OOC: Copy and Pasted from the roster thread, minus the roster.

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Bazalonia 4 – 2 Koseli Cumhuriyetler
Rioting Turks Still Looking For First Win
The Turks have continued in their slump despite an improved performance from the team as a whole. The Turks started poorly conceding 3 goals in the first 15 minutes two from Hector Ainsley both were simple finishes after rounding Orhan, who by his standards had a horrendous game. The Turks created little in the first half managing only one shot on target which slipped into the back of the net underneath Leisel MacDonald, who produced a series of miraculous saves in the second half.

The second half was far more even with the Bazalonian goalkeeper keeping busy with no less than 12 saves in the first 20 minutes of the half, then Gokhan Asik set up Serkan Turkmen to bring the game back to 3-2 and there looked to be a comeback in the air. The Turks pressed onwards towards the elusive equalizer, Sabri coming close with a long range drive and Arif nodded a Serkan cross just wide of the post. The Turks paid for their missed chances as Ainsley finished of his hattrick by lobbing Orhan.

Arrangements for Game vs. Arroza
The Violence in Kose Sehir has been calmed down with several of the rioters dispersing, however due to the continuing state of emergency the KCFF has moved the game from Kose Sehir to Azarbaycan, to the Azeri-Turk Milli Stadi pictured below:

http://www.worldstadiums.com/stadium_pictures/middle_east/azerbaijan/baku_bakhramov2.jpg
The Turks New Home For One Game

The following appeared in the diary of Sarzonia forward Zack Wilson

Dear Diary,

Looks like we came crashing back to Earth. After winning and drawing the first two matches of World Cup XLIV qualifying, we played our first away match at West Zirconia. We'd said before the match that they had the potential to make it to the World Cup as a dark horse and they sure showed us that today.

Things looked promising in the sixth minute when I headed a great cross from Mattie Lynch to give us the 0:1 lead, but that only seemed to piss off the hosts. Seven minutes later, Martin Forster beat Kelvin Russell with a chip shot that Cody would've had in his sleep. I still can't understand why Dad started Russell over Taylor. He didn't even explain it to me after we left the locker room.

The next three goals came in rapid-fire succession, Ed French in the 22nd, Anthony McGowan in the 24th and Alun Lydiate in the 29th minute. Mercifully, Dad sent Cody back in to play keeper after Lydiate's goal. They still kept putting on the pressure and in my opinion, we saw why Cody earned a spot in the starting 11.

I can't say I feel very good about our chances in the next match. We have to play away to Taeshan. They're ranked 34th in the world and they're smarting after Valanora put the wood to them 4:0. I'm beginning to think our beating Daehanjeiguk was the worst thing that could've happened to us. I mean, we can't sneak up on people now. Granted, it was Valanora, but still. They're gonna come at us hard.

On another note, I'm worried about Dad. He seems to be making some weird decisions and doesn't seem to be able to handle questioning from the media very well. I'm sure Grandpa could set him to rights, but I don't have his cell phone number. I know we're not expecting to qualify and it's been a long time since Dad scored a hat trick against Oaker in the final, but he seems to expect this team to be as good as that team was. Sorry to say I disagree with him there.

We'll just have to keep at it and hope for the best.

Yours,

Zachary

Zack Wilson closed the book and put it into his suitcase for the flight to Taeshan.

For goalkeeper Matt Peters, today was a frustrating day.

He made nine saves, many of which would be celebrated on Rymeria's version of SportsCenter, including a leaping parry of a laser shot from Costa Theotokis in the 23rd minute that left the Peisandros striker muttering to himself.

Unfortunately, he wouldn't remember a single save in the hours between the end of Rymeria's 0:1 loss to 84th ranked Peisandros. The shot he would relive over and over in his mind was the little dribbler from Lefteris Diakos that his right middle finger tipped into the net in the 71st minute after a spectactular dive allowed him to get to a ball most keepers wouldn't have.

It proved to be the only score Peisandros would need. Rymeria only managed one shot on goal and seven shots overall. The team lost the possession battle 59 minutes to 41. Peisandros fired 25 shots overall, including the 10 shots on goal.

Coach Chris Hannan, not normally one to provide comfort during a loss, went up to Peters after the game when he saw the keeper still slumped at his locker two hours after the rest of the team had showered and departed.

"Hey Matt, you played a great game," he said.

"Not good enough," Peters said.

"We weren't good enough. You were definitely up to the task."

"But I let in that goal."

"That wasn't your fault, Matt. You're not the only person who's going to mean victory or defeat for us. You played your ass off. You should be proud of yourself. Anyway, we've got our one true home game up next, against Secristan. We'll actually get to sleep in our own beds tonight. C'mon. The Hera's waiting for us. That wormhole's not going to be open for long."

Finally, Peters showered, dressed and brought his luggage to the RSV Hera. Once loaded with the members of both the Rymerian and Secristani teams, it jumped to faster than light speed and took itself into the artificial wormhole, which soon brought it into orbit around Rymeria.

Getting the opportunity to sleep in their own beds and play in front of a true home crowd would be a major boost to the team. Whether it resulted in a win or not against the world's 60th ranked side would be a matter they'd have to play to decide. But at least they wouldn't have to be in a hotel for a while yet.

(Yes, most of this RP really belonged before the latest cut-off, but although I just missed that deadline I've decided to post it anyway rather than just discard it...)

__________________________________________________________

(at the stadium in Prux, just before the game…)

Bob Smith has finished telling the Ursine team’s members what little he knows about the playing histories of the footballers whom the Pruxians have had re-animated for use as their own players, and making suggestions about strategies for this game. Now the team’s captain, Marra SunDaughter, is giving her friends & colleagues a final pep-talk before they go out onto the pitch.

“Don’t anybody here start thinking that because we lost our opening match in this contest we’re doomed to failure: That game was against the highest-ranked — and probably toughest — opponents who’ve been placed in the same ‘group’ as us, after all, and even with the home-field advantage on our side a win was probably too much to expect in that case… but Prux is rated quite a bit lower than them, it’s actually several places below Jeru FR in the tables, so as we managed to hold that team to a draw we should be able to manage at least a draw and — quite possibly a victory instead — against this one.
Yes, our opponents out on the field will be a bunch of walking corpses… but remember that they’re only Human walking corpses, not Ursine ones, and they have nothing at all to do with ‘That Which Abides’ in the ‘Hazardous Wastes’: According to our own shabears the evil magic involved was just the work of a single Human mystic, and there’s no risk of them demonstrating super-ursine powers or of their condition being contagious… and a lot of people from the Great Medicine Society will be going to be working rituals during the match to lay them to rest, or at least to reduce their effectiveness, too. Some of this competition’s officials have already said that we tackle more roughly than they consider acceptable, so it would be a good idea if you put more effort than usual into trying to avoid actually touching these foes for that reason anyway. Oh, and if you’ve a choice of defenders to get past then I suggest trying Fachetti because those ‘new’ legs probably won’t work as well for him as his original ones did…
Hokay, it’s time: Out we go!”

The team head out through the tunnel. Waiting at its entrance, to bless them, is a senior shabear... who is accompanied by what the players initially take to be an Ursine child. Then, however, Marra recognises this being as one of the holy Puh-Barra: This comes as rather a surprise to the team, as very few members of that race have ever been known to leave Bears Armed before this, but they are cheered by its presence.
They arrive on the pitch and, as usual, perform their ‘harrdiharr’ ritual there. Maybe this can’t actually affect the morale of the zombies, but they hope that it will shake Dr Makembe a bit… and it will help to raise the Belles’ own morale anyway: Besides which, it’s believed to invoke spiritual protection against evil magic… and it might really do so…)


__________________________________________________________

(back home, at Plumtrees Park…)


It is late afternoon. In the centre of the pitch, a group of shabears from the Great Medicine Society are preparing a ritual to funnel power to those of their colleagues who have gone to attend the match in Prux, to help them disrupt the dark magics that animate the zombies whom that nation is using as its Soccer team. They have already marked out a set of three concentric circles, with an altar in the centre and statues of the ‘Seven Holy Helpers’ spaced around the middle ring, and now some of them are dancing mystical symbols into the thin layer of snow that covers the ground within the outer ring.
Crowds of other Ursines are arriving at the stadium to participate in this ritual too, and the stewards are asking each of these the traditional question about their Clan: “Silver, Sun, or Land?” Those of them who thus claim membership in the ‘Silver-of Night’ Clan are directed into the pitch, to assist the main group of shabears directly, whilst the Sun Clans members join their kinsfolk who were already present in the site’s guard force and the majority of the arrivals — belonging to one or another of the many ‘Land Clans’ — are sent into the spectators’ seating areas & stands. As the daylight fades the temperature drops, but then eight large fires are lit at points spaced around the edges of the pitch. In one section of the stands, a group of Ursines who combine their worship of The Great Bear and his Seven Holy Helpers with membership of the ‘Ursion’ church begin to raise their voices together in an Ursion hymn...

“There is a green hill far away, within a city wall,
Where our dear Lord, He was impaled _
He died to save us all.”


One of the Ravens who are helping to coordinate the activities here and in Prux takes flight with a message, and disappears from view — as it slips between these two different ‘realities’ — in a brief burst of rainbow light.

____________________________________________________

(After the match against Prux finishes...)

Although the Bear-Belles are obviously disappointed at having lost all of their first three matches they do not actually feel "defeated" and have certainly NOT given up hope: Those were their initial games against the two highest-ranked teams in the group, and their 'away' game against the third-ranked team, after all. Now the "Bears" of Mydedevdya are coming to us, and they aren't ranked much more highly than us, as these things go. The general attitude is one of reasonable confidence, a belief that the Belles certainly shouldn't lose again and have a good chance of winning... and both the team and their supporters are keenly looking forward to meeting people from another nation with Ursines amongst its inhabitants. The members of Bears Armed's [relatively small] Orthodox Christian community seem to be especially excoted by this prospect, because of course the Myedvedeyans are co-religionists of theirs, and many of them are eagerly taking any opportunity they can to be in or around Plumtrees Park on the day of that match...

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Leclustre
by Rami Niblick in Lecland

WELL, that blew goats. And we weren't even playing the Caprine States (obscure as always, Rami - Ed). All the promise of the Docky match evaporated in a steaming pile of underachievement. The men in *spit* ediraf were completely below par as they spluttered to a one-all draw with Lecland. Lecland!

It started off so promisingly as well. Krytenia looked bright at the outset and created a few early chances, with Scotland hitting the outside of the post and Casper Smith forcing a great save from his namesake in the Lecland goal. And then, for about twenty minutes, that was it. The aging midfield seemed to forget how to string three passes together, Smith's killer right boot seemed to have gone missing, and only a bit of panicking in front of goal from Gary Owen stopped the Aces from going behind. Krytenia would have been releived to hear the half-time whistle.

The second half started, alas, as the first ended, and this time Krytenia did go behind, as Robert Zelic seemed to forget how to defend, allowing Carl Young to get through and slot past Garcia for the opener. It was a crushing blow, and the Aces almost different recover. It wasn't till the eighty-sixth minute that the equaliser eventually came; substitute Trevor Griffiths, a Krytenian of Druidan origin, putting the ball into the box for Wolverton to volley home at the far post.

Next up is Krytenia's first home game, against East Pocono. Hastings' Bell Moor ground will host the game. Please, dear God, let it be better than this.

Lecland - 1
Young 50

Krytenia - 1
Wolverton 86

FR1: A v NET - D 3-3 (Scotland, C Smith, Bond)
FR2: H v SRZ - D 0-0
MD1: A v DCK - W 2-0 (Scotland 2)
MD2: A v LEC - D 1-1 (Wolverton)
MD3: H v EPO
MD4: A v QMB
MD5: H v JEY
MD6: A v VPH
MD7: H v ARC
FR3: H v SEC
MD8: H v DCK
MD9: H v LEC
MD10: A v EPO
MD11: H v QMB
MD12: A v JEY
MD13: H v VPH
MD14: A v ARC
FR4: A v SRZ

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COLONIALS DESCEND ON FORT BOSTON

Home Isles To Play Empire In World Cup Qualifier

Tonight, for the first time, The Confederate States of the East and West Isles of Bostopia (The Home Isles) will play against The Empire of the Confederate States of the East and West Isles of Bostopia (The Bostopian Empire) in a competitive fixture. As such, interest in the match is significantly high, with the Fort Boston Arena set to be full to it's eighty-seven-thousand capacity. Foreign interest, naturally, is behind the Empire.

Other nations in Group 1 would be overjoyed to see Bostopia stumble in the Capital City of Her own nation, let alone Empire, as it would increase their chances of qualification. The added prospect of this also humiliating Bostopia is extra incentive for foreigners to cheer on the Empire. Bostopia, currently sat in first place and two points ahead of Ad'ihan, will not get to attempt to increase this lead until the sixth game of qualifying, with tonight's match being the fourth.

The Empire itself, currently fifth after beating Kosovoe 4 – 2 away will also see this as a match they must win, with the possibility of climbing to third in the table should other results go their way. However, despite the heavy stakes for the game, it will be played like all games we are involved in – with professionalism.

“You're telling us to hit their players in the balls.” The lead Cheerleader said with a hint of terror.

“Yes! Exactly” Kulvir Singh, the manager of the Empire's team shouted excitedly, waking up most of the Hotel in Fort Boston that the team was staying in.

“But, why?” The lead Cheerleader, with a quick flick of her pom-pom toward Kulvir said.

“Because!” Kulvir said, waving his arms in the air, “This is the 'Home Isles' team!” (He made 'Home Isles' sound very sarcastic.) “These are the team who represent everything we stand against! They control us, they let idiots drive tanks around our nations and plenty other things!”

“Do they make shoes?” Someone shouted from the back.

“Yes! And to make things worse, these are the people who make you wear skimpy outfits that show off your legs and breasts! The way things are going, you'll end up as a trophy wife to one of their players!”

“Right.” The lead Cheerleader replied.

The blonde haired (though there were also two brunettes) ample-breasted, long legged girls all looked at each other.

“Do... footballers in Bostopia earn a lot of money?” One of the two brunettes asked.

“Tons! It's a disgrace! Football isn't about the money!” Kulvir ranted, literally hopping with rage.

“Yeah.. a disgrace.” The brunette replied.

“Well, you girls know what you have to do, right?”

“Get 'em by the balls!” The blonde at the front replied.

“Exactly!” Kulvir smiled as he walked back, with a definite spring in his step.

The girls all watched him leave – not the prettiest sight – and waited for him to get out of earshot.

“So, you figure that if we're nice to the Bostopian players, then we might get to be a trophy wife?” Blonde #3 said.

“Definitely!”

The girls again looked at each other, and rushed out of the Hotel, to buy clothes and equipment that were red rather than sky blue.

Purple Knights Travel to Valanora and Get Shut Out

It was a big day for the Purple Knights as they traveled to the home of the World Champions, Valanora, earlier this week to play there biggest game possibly ever against the hometown Valanorans. For perhaps the first time ever the Knights were to play a game in the elven city of Capri, at Hatire Memorial Stadium the Elves home field. the Knights were treated to lavish conditions all week leading up to the game at the local Super Eight Hotel. they were able to practice most of the week at a local university, and a consensus would show that most of the players felt a good feeling towards there host who had treated themn well.

The Knights were not without controversy again this week as star gaolie, and team captain Tad Montague decided not make the trip and to recupe for the game against Sarzonia in two weeks. Adam Flight the backup though was ready to step up. In other team news Jacin Reallis was unable to play also due to stifness, and the defense performed lacklusterly most of the week coming up to the game. Many of the players were complaining of heat stroke, and the hot temperatures of the place, and were ready to get the game over with. It was to hot for many of the fans to tailgate, and watch from trees outside the park and thus few fans were there to watch the game.

The first half was fine for the Knights it wasn't to hot outside, and they were able to stand the temperature. The Valanorans were only able to score a single goal all half with an Ikles Razov assist on a Calla Soler goal on a header that Flight could not reach. The Knights were unable also to score on the Valanora goalie Amarian Tinehtelë was practically a endless wall of defense and Vanorian defenders Dwier Titenburg Jr, and Angrod Minyatur kept the Knights away from the box.

In the second half the Valanorans exploded for three goals that proved to be the deciders, as they easily ran away with the game against the Taeshani defense witch was playing really poorly without its anchor players. Those goals came from dfender Hizzen Hocn on a accindental misshap on a free kick, Razov was able to score past the goalie Flight also, and Soler scored a second goal in the 77th minute. The Knights though even under disapointment at the lose were able to come out with there heads up high. They knew they didn't really have a chance, but they were liable to at least try.

The final whistle sounded, Starblaydia had been defeated 2-0 by Jasi'yun, and something rather strange occurred. It had happened before, on occasion, but this time it was something slightly more fierce.

Starblaydi fans were booing their team off the pitch.

For the seasoned professionals like Peter Movalinen, their first reaction upon finishing a match - after suitable celebrations or commiserations - would be to go over to the traveling Starblaydi support and thank them. Usually it would be for their support: the fact they'd paid money both for the match ticket and to travel abroad, the support throughout the match, series of matches, or whatever. This time, however, was different. Movalinen just stood their, near the penalty area, with his hands on his hips. He had no idea what to say or do, but he knew there would be hell to pay.

Two losses in three matches was bad enough and, not including World Cup knockouts, not something Starblaydia had experienced since a three-game losing streak at the culmination of the Sixth Oriental Football Cup almost a decade previously. Peter had been on the bench for those matches, a fresh-faced twenty-three year old in the shadow of the veteran starlet Jae Chang-hwa. Now, however, he was the bearer of more than fifty caps for his country, a senior squad member and, were it not for Diamontii Di Bradini, a probable selection for the captain's armband.

"Get rid of those fucking useless Elves!" one particularly loud fan screamed.

"Valrauncion out!" yelled another.

"Waste of time," screamed the first again, he looked angry, "what a load of rubbish!"

"What a load of rubbish! What a load of rubbish!" The stalwart section of the away crowd quickly took up the chant, as Starblaydi fans were always good at, even when the chants were nasty and directed at their own players. Peter looked at the fans who had come to cheer him on, cheer on his team and cheer on his nation, but all he could see was hate and, worse, disappointment. He shrugged, not the simple raising of shoulders as one would do to another, but a grand gesture to the entire stand with the simple question that most Starblaydi would have asked themselves: 'What can I do?'. He stood there, in the all-white Starblaydi kit, with the purple and black swirls, with grass green stains on his socks and shorts. With the purple and black stars covered by the Praetoran eagle. Three gold stars stood out proudly above the badge of the Starblaydi Football Association, they represented three dates that would forever live in Starblaydi memories.

2014, the 25th World Cup. 2026, the 28th World Cup. 2078, the 41st World Cup

Twelve years ago the third star had been added, much to the total delight of every single fan of the white and purples. But here and now, in 2090, after two defeats in two games, the prospects of adding a fourth looked remote indeed. Peter felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to look up at Rashid Mus'haf.

"Come on," the tall midfielder said, inclining his head to the player's tunnel, "there's nothing we can do about them."

World Cup 44 Qualification - Group 2
MD1: 2-0 vs [42] West Zirconia (@ Munhwa Football Stadium - 65,000, Hanseong)
MD2: 0-2 @ [???] Sarzonia (@ Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium - 88,920, Woodstock)
MD3: 5-0 vs [76] Dariusville (@ Potala Palace - 34,000, Lasa)
MD4: @ [54] Liventia (@ Colonial Stadium, Orean)
MD5: vs [1] Valanora (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium - 200,000, Hangyeong)
MD6: @ [34] Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colosseum - 599,000, Atlantea)
MD7: vs [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium - 80,000, Gwangju)
MQ: ---
MD8: @ [42] West Zirconia (@ Manchester Street - 85,000, Moorcroft)
MD9: vs [???] Sarzonia (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium - 50,000, Daebo)
MD10: @ [76] Dariusville (@ Humphra Ignhorium - 2,000, some forest in Dariusville)
MD11: vs [54] Liventia (@ Silk Road Stadium - 56,000, Seoan)
MD12: @ [1] Valanora (@ Hatire Memorial - 60,000, Capri)
MD13: vs [34] Taeshan (@ Tae-majt Park - 69,000, Pyeongyang)
MD14: @ [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ hopefully not in a beer bottle)



MBC World Cup Special Report
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That's more like it! A Win for the Han

LASA - Oh, wow. That was a surprising turn of events. With one win, the Han are back in second position over Taeshan, who lost to Valanora. More importantly, we axed the trees from Dariusville with a 5-0, with a sweet cherry on top (the fruit, not a tree). Not to say that the high elevation at Potala helped us; it probably did. Yes, at the very sight of the Baptism of Fire 28 where a lot of things went wrong - from teams being registered in the wrong slot to hasty management decisions that put everyone on the edge of their seats - it was a fitting scene for the Imperial Team to play out a must-win for Ioshido and the Han. After the loss to Sarzonia, a loss to a bunch of trees would have been disastrous for Ioshido's prospects to stay on the head position. Of course, he should still really, really consider moving on to another team.

So what was critical about the 5-0 win? I think it was the fact that the Han were playing football for the first time. I suppose Ioshido Toki must have put the whole team on practice after practice until the match after that embarrassment in Woodstock, because they were also very tired. But the passes were crisp, the chips were precise, and they made possession count when it counted. Kim Daeeui knocked in a glorious hattrick, only hiss bazillionth of his career (more like his 8th...). And Kim Jongguk was managing the defense much better than in his match against the Sarzonians - to be honest, he was simply over-powered by the fact the Han didn't dominate possession. But the defense was much more in control; of course, the trees took forever to move anyway. The shots on goal that they did make were - for lack of a better word - deadly. At least two spectators were injured by the stray shots, while Kim Jongguk had his gloved replaced after each shot saved. Thankfully, the trees didn't get any better opportunities to shoot, otherwise, Kim's hands would have worn out. And fortunately, Kim Daeeui's three shots were on target, while Pak Gyuseon managed to steal some of the honor by knocking in goal from the far corner. Song Jongguk also had a great game, setting 4 assists for the Han, and scoring the last one after everything had been settled. But unfortunately, the younger players were pretty much excluded, with the exception of An Pilrip, who managed to move the ball around for the Han - no assists or goals though.

What sort of future are we setting up for ourselves? Pretty soon, we'll be have players the ages of those elves, looking all like Feng Shui (that centenarian from Sorthern Northland), winning our games. But that's not how it's supposed to be - we need young strapping kids to win us our games. The Han teach our children to allow them to carry the future on their shoulders for their children; that's how it's supposed to be. Our children should learn to fight their battles, not have us spoil them and fight their battles for them. Otherwise, what sort of example will they set for their children? This is how the generations impart their wisdom to their progeny, or else the Han Empire may come tumbling because all of the old folk decided to make everything easy for their children. If Ioshido knows what's best for the Han, he'll start showing some of the raw new talent of the Han Empire instead of these old folk. Otherwise, you'll be expecting to see more losses in the future.

On another note, I have been told that Ioshido is really considering a friendly fixture for the mid-qualifier break. I'm not sure if this has anything to do with what I've written in this column, but I'm glad nonetheless.


=== === ===

The whistle blew. Pak saw the ball fly back from the front. The strategy was changing. Hold the ball - make the strike. Hold the ball - make the strike. Pak had reconciled his mistakes of the first half to history; play the ball, not the man. Shin Hongdo took the ball up and and passed out wide. As expected #10 was making his dashing charges, but Pak tried to avoid thinking about him. He was focusing his attention wholly upon the ball. Kim Chunjeon kicked the ball up toward Kim Shinyok, where a defender stole out the ball and sent it forward. #10 collected the ball and was heading his way. Play the ball, not the man. He fixated his whole thought upon the ball. #10 came closer and closer, readying himself for a trick.

Play the ball! Not the man!

Just then, No Chansu swept in and tackled the ball from under his feet. Well, that solved that problem. "Good tackle," Pak said to No.

"Yeah, thanks."

That was easy. He didn't have to do anything.

Kim Shinyok had the ball again, and rather than try his luck, he passed out wide to Ban Geumho. He darted down the line, and suddenly, not much time after the whistle had just blown, they were on the attack. Ban Geumho made a great cross to the middle, but Kim Shinyok missed the ball and it fell to the grateful feet of some defender #3. He lifted the ball out of the box, but rather than find #10, it found Pak. Presented with the same opportunity as what had been left to him at the end of the first half, he turned away, passing to No Chansu, who turned out wide to Mi Taesei. #10 sneered as he came closer. He paused to tie his shoes, remarking, "Luckily for you, I've got a cup now, you son of a bitch." As he stood up, he spit on Pak's shoes and turned back to the action.

Pak tried to ignore that. He was used to insults before, most of them at work. Although he had to laugh - that was the first time that he had been insulted over a groin issue...

He laughed to himself, hoping not to spark anything serious.

For the first ten minutes, no one made any serious attempt on goal. #10 was effectively out of place with every try he made into the final third of the field, mostly because No Chansu was turning out to be a better defender than Pak was. Of course, the Pearls completely relied upon #10 for virtually everything. Defense, offense, and the occasional midfield battle; if they lost him, they probably would be stuck with their goalkeeper (who was himself very good). But Pak wasn't worrying about that - he was focusing on the ball, and the ball was telling him that they were behind two goals. They needed three goals to get the result that they wanted. Three goals to win the game.

"Three goals!" Pak yelled out, as the team recovered the ball in midfield. Those who looked at him nodded in agreement. Shin Hongdo passed up the ball to Yim Sumin, who darted up the field again. At the edge of the box, he sent a low cross to the feet of Kim Shinyok, who knocked the ball goal-ward. The goalkeeper, stubborn as ever, blocked the shot. But Wang Suncheol was racing up to get the ball, taking the quick shot. The goalkeeper, stubborn and now on his side, raised his left arm and hit the ball back out into the field where one of his defenders caught the ball. It was the perfect place for Shin Hongdo to pick up, and he stole away with the ball. Out 20 meters from the goal, he made a brilliant shot for the top right corner. Too much corner! It hit the post! But Yim Sumin was still around to collect the ball for yet another shot - Kim Shinyok gazed at the ball, following it to his foot and into the goal. NO! Not in the goal, the goalkeeper stuck out his foot, and the ball went airbourne. Pak watched anxiously from the center circle, hoping that they would reduce the deficit at least.

As it would turn out, the ball went out, and it was a corner kick for the Thunder. "About time," Pak muttered to himself, even though he would have much rather had the goal. He went up the field to the mid-section of the opponent's half - the farthest into enemy territory that he had traveled for the whole match. No Chansu would hold the rear once more. Yim Sumin was directing the kick, and nearly everyone on the Pearl's side was ready up for the kick. The referee blew the whistle, to break up what was looking like a confrontation, but it was quickly defused and with no further interruption, Yim made the delivery. It was a beautiful punt down into the center, and Kim Shinyok was on the other end of the ball. The ball sliced cleanly into the middle of the group, with only Kim's grateful foot to connect to it. It bounced off his foot and flew goal-ward, only to ram into the goalkeeper's body. It bounced back into the main field, where #10 calmly and quickly collected the ball. Defense converted to offense in a flash, and #10 ran the ball down the field, past Pak. Pak turned around and started to run a competition that was clearly not his forte. It clearly wasn't No's forte either, as #10 ran up to the goal and netted the ball past Yang's formidable reach. 3-0, and the crowd went wild. #10 ran up to Pak, showing off his bare chest with his shirt wrapped over his head. An insult that was well deserved to some extent...

Pak turned back to his players nonetheless, with dogged determination now. "Four goals!"

The Team assembled for a meeting...

AK: So any of you scared of our own fans aswell?

SG: No... of course not, why would you ask a question like that?

AK: Just I heard about a fad about football teams and worst fears...

SG: What a load of crap.

AK: So why don't we go and explore some of the Azar Caves later.

SG: No thanks...

AK: Why, are you scared.

SG: No, especially not of the bats that inhabit those caves. That would be ridiculous, but you know what else might be there? Snakes.

AK: You're an asshole.

Hakan: (On the phone) Leave me alone you stupid bitch.

ST: Who was that?

Hakan: Wrong number.

ST: Ah your wife then.

Hakan: Yeah, god she's like my worst fear.

SG: Funny you should mention that- (Is hit in the back of the head by Arif)

Hakan: Anyway, we all know we're in a bit of a slump at the moment, but we will persevere because we're the Turks. Sure you may be an idiot or a goat herder, and you may not have any skills that would get you into other national teams. What I'm trying to say is, for the rest of the qualifying... Lets show them what we can do!

Team: Yeah.

SG: Who are we?

Team: The Turks

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/thsdNEWS.png

Can We Play Starblaydia Now?
by Rami Niblick in Hastings

THE schizophrenic nature of the World Cup XLIV edition Krytenia side continued yesterday afternoon on the outskirts of the Forest of Yardley, as East Pocono were defeated two-nil.

But we don't want to give you that.

What we really want to give you is the news that Starblaydia have lost - again - this time at the hands of Ja Si Yun. That's right; the team that is, in effect, the SLANI reserves.

Oh, how we laugh. A lot.

It gets better though; West Zirconia handed Sarzonia's collective posteriors to them with a rousing four-one victory, and Sorthern Northland lost too - although we'll let that last one slip as they did have to play against the UCS SLANI team.

Anyway, back to Krytenia.

For those who must know, Darren Scotland and Casper Smith gathered one apiece, and the game was also notable for the debut of the third generation of the Kennedy family, as young Uriel Kennedy came on with nine minutes to go. Good times all round.

Alas, it's not Starblaydia next, but Quakmybush, who should at least pose more of a challenge than the Purple Ponces.

Krytenia - 2
Scotland 35
C Smith 71

East Pocono - 0


FR1: A v NET - D 3-3 (Scotland, Smith, Bond)
FR2: H v SRZ - D 0-0
MD1: A v DCK - W 2-0 (Scotland 2)
MD2: A v LEC - D 1-1 (Wolverton)
MD3: H v EPO - W 2-0 (Scotland, Smith)
MD4: A v QMB
MD5: H v JEY
MD6: A v VPH
MD7: H v ARC
FR3: H v SEC
MD8: H v DCK
MD9: H v LEC
MD10: A v EPO
MD11: H v QMB
MD12: A v JEY
MD13: H v VPH
MD14: A v ARC
FR4: A v SRZ

World Cup Qualifying Schedule
MD1: Greal VS Chutnusak (1-0)
MD2: Greal VS Idanno (2-3)
MD3: Greal VS Urna Eletrônica (3-1)
MD4: Greal VS Jaseuyeon
MD5: Greal VS Draistania
MD6: Greal VS Jeruselem
MD7: Greal VS Starblaydia
MD8: Greal VS Chutnusak
MD9: Greal VS Idanno
MD10: Greal VS Urna Eletrônica
MD11: Greal VS Jaseuyeon
MD12: Greal VS Draistania
MD13: Greal VS Jeruselem
MD14: Greal VS Starblaydia

Greal 3 – 1 Urna Electrônica

The Greali surprised the whole crowd by scoring rather early into the game, causing cheers and boos. The Urna Eletrônica national team went on offensive and finally managed to score before the first half was up. Michael Istoma had returned to score in the second half, then Howard Anderson made good of his word to score two goals in this game. For rest of the game, Urna Eletrônica was forced on defensive by the determined Greali attackers. The game ended 3-1 in Greal's favor. Up next is a match against the tough Jaseuyeon team who had beaten many of the good teams in the group.


Greal 3
Howard Anderson ('15) (76')
Michael Istoma (57')

Urna Electrônica

Other matches in the group were strange and normal as usual.

Jaseuyeon over-ran top ranked Starblaydia 2-0.

Jeruselem narrowly won over Draistania 3-2.

Chutnusak won over Idanno 1-0.

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Great day eh?"

"Yeah, now wheres my money?"

"Here man."

"Thanks, now what about the next match?"

"This is hard to predict, I bet a draw."

"A draw? Are you crazy? Don't you have any hope in our team?"

"I do, but Jaseuyeon is formidable and it'll be a very tough match."

"You never have any hope."

"Who said I did?"

"Joesph."

"He's a idiot."

"Joesph? I thought he was smart."

"They always say so."

"I'll bet five hundred dollars."

"Fine. Meet us at the pizza place."

Sean Dastrin walked silently back into the locker room, no one but Cameron Pollens, a rather rowdy forward, dared to say anything. "That sucked! You all were terrible out there tonight!" Cameron yelled as they returned to the locker room.

Andrew Davidson, the goal keeper, slowly started to turn red as he replied, "Well maybe if you managed to keep the ball on the other side of the field for more than a minute at a time and I wasn't constantly blocking, it wouldn't be a problem! Ever consider that you might be the problem?"

"You did not just say that, I AM this team!" with that, he jumped onto the goal keeper and started swinging his fists. Some of the team got in on the fight, some tried to break it up, and some just stood on the side unsure of what they would do.

Coach Sean tried to break up the fight. He felt like getting in there and pounding his fists on as many players as possible, but he was the coach; he had to set an example for his players.

Assistant Coach Frederick Dawner blew a very loud whistle for about 5 seconds straight. People had to stop fighting as it was rather painful to listen to. "I believe that Coach Dastrin would like to say something."

The game had started out well. Draistania made a goal with Bartholomew Korff after 24 minutes when Juan Gonzalez had passed him the ball.

At 41 minutes in, Vince Peterson passed the ball to Cameron Pollens who made a goal. It looked as if Draistania might finally have a chance. Even Sean Dastrin was reported to have smiled a little as they returned to the locker room at half time.

At the second half, Draistania lost it. Just 3 minutes into the game, Helen Clarke managed to kick it straight between Zachary Dane's legs and go in for the goal after that.

Three minutes later, Bartholomew Korff committed a foul and was yellow carded. There were a few yellow cards that followed on both sides. Cameron Pollens, Lawrence Daniels, and Zachary Dane were also yellow carded. Bartholomew was eventually red carded at 82 minutes.

Jacinta Sallad, Lara Bingle, and Na Ling, were also carded, but Draistania never managed to make much out of it. Na Ling kicked the ball to Kylie Sho who made a header in at 65 minutes and Helen Clarke made maneuvered past everyone again and made another goal at 78 minutes. A great start for Draistania, but a terrible finish.

"Yes I do," Sean said as he stood up and looked around the room, glaring a little. He started to walk around the room as he talked. "I would just like to announce, anyone who would like to, can go home."

This was followed by silence and confused looks. "I mean it," Sean continued, "just go home already. You might as well be there, you aren't doing anything here. In fact, I insist that some of you go home.

"Zachary Dane, you haven't done much. Maybe you'd like to go home and relax your fat butt."

Zachary glared back at him and turned beat red, but remained quiet. "How about Andrew Davidson, you aren't just a pretty decoration we put in the goal, why don't you just go be a statue for your new job, that would suit you perfectly."

"You're telling me," scoffed Cameron Pollens.

"Ah, Mr. Pollens. You gave us an impressive performance out there. Now why don't you come back when you are ready to give us 100%? You finished weak, boy, and you could have done better."

"I did give 100% out there!"

"Not that I saw, go home."

"I'm not going home! I earned my right to be here! And a lot better than you did!"

"Then go out there and prove it! Show the world! If you are so great, why are we in last now?"

There was silence now. No one looked up. Sean continued "After our next game, I will be making some roster changes. If you can't give 100%, don't bother showing up for the next game because you will only be watching."

With that, Sean stormed out of the room, leaving a number of players wondering about their job security.

Final Score:
Draistania 2 – 3 Jeruselem

OOC - Hey Draistania, Jacinta Sallad (not to be confused with Jacinta Dallas) was red carded last game and couldn't play this game

Kara Kool talking to striker Helen Clarke ...

Kara: Great game Helen, where are you from again?
Helen: New Zealand
kara: Kate said that was a two islands in the middle nowhere full of sheep with cold dodgy weather.
Helen: It's not quite that but not far from the truth either.

Kara: So why are you in Jeruselem then?
Helen: More money here.
Kara: So how did you get citizenship?
Helen: I'm quarter Jewish.

Kara: You don't look Jewish.
Helen: Neither does Princess Jacinta Dallas
Kara: But she comes from a weird family.
Helen: I noticed that.

Kara: I heard you had flightless birds in New Zealand.
Helen: Yes, called Kiwis - and nothing to do with Kiwi fruit.
Kara: Like Ostriches?
Helen: No, little birds, very small. Cute but very vulnerable.

Kara: I don't get out a lot.
Helen: Not much wildlife out in Jeruselem.
Kara: Well, it's been a stupid desert for quite a while. So how to train?
Helen: You get a paddock, fill with sheep and run around them.

Kara: A farm girl I see.
Helen: Yes, I noticed the assistant coach lives on a farm too.
kara: Yes, she lives on a farm. A Pistachio nut farm ...
Helen: I'm planning on my own farm when I retire. One like home, apart from the weather being a bit warmer.

Kara: I think your sheep might be a bit smaller than ones your used to.
Helen: I suppose sheep here are bit thinner and less fluffy.
Kara: I'm Jewish, my ancestors had to put up with breeding thin sheep in a desert.
Helen: But for now I'll just earn some money, land isn't cheap here.

Kara: But you're Jewish too, you should be smart enough to get the money.
Helen: I'm not as smart as you or have the same rich friends.
Kara: Oh yes, them Dallas girls.
Helen: Don't worry, I'll get my farm.

Kara: So, where do live now?
Helen: I'm renting, I can't afford to buy.
Kara: Don't you have Jewish relatives here?
Helen: Well, if I can find them. My Hebrew isn't that good.

Kara: Well, you'll need some lessons then.
Helen: I know.
kate: Hey, anyone want some CHUPS?
Helen: Yeah sure!

Kara: Chups?
Kate: Chips! I'm speaking Kiwi.
Helen: I have problems with vowels.

Henrí Savagé Stadium, New Recife..

PA ANNNOUNCER:
"And there's the final whistle folks, Qazox improves to 3-0-0 in qualifying with that 3-0 win over St. Samuel. To recap: Qazox goals: Raul de Olivares: 17th minute, Raul de Olivares: 41st minute, Miche Fanimov: Penalty Kick 88th minute. Fouls: Qazox 5, St. Samuel 11. Bookings: None for either side. Remember folks, tickets for the February 18th match against Akbarabad go on sale at 10:00am this Saturday, while tickets for the August 30th match against Colburne go on sale January 13th at 10:00am. For all of us here at Henrí Savagé Stadium, we wish you a safe trip home and to drive safely.

As the players walk to the locker room to shower and go home, Fernando Turek stops one player just outside the tunnel.

"Natalie, wait a minute" Turek asked.

"What Coach, Did I do something wrong?" she countered.

"No, But I wanted to ask you a quick question, if I may, when are you due?" Fernando asked.

"What, But how do you know?" Natalie replied, instinctively covering her abdomen.

"You just have that look about you that most pregnant women have. That and you are attempting to make less diving saves than you usually do." He answered. "So once again, when are you due?"

"Late June, Early July. I'm only 3 months along, but my doctor says that it'll be showing in a month or so." Natalie replied. "So by the end of first half of the qualifiers, I'll be about 6 months along. So when you gonna bench me?"

"Depends, I'd like to keep you around at least until the first meeting with Dancougar, but look I'm not gonna beat around the bush here. I'm probably going to replace you with Reed after the Colburne match. I just don't want you taking any risks out there. OK. If things go well, then maybe I'll bring you back for the final couple of games before the Cup, to get you back in shape. So does Wesley know yet?" said Turek.

"I told him just before the match, that's why every slight break int eh action, he came back to talk with me. He's proud as a peacock, and scared shitless that I'll or the baby will get injured, and I told him, not to worry." She replied. "Coach, I gotta get going, we're heading over to his parent's house tonight to tell them the news."

"Ok, see you on the plane Friday." Fernando replied. '2 down, 9 to go.'

Jeru FC coach Count Mikhail Ilyevitch Fedorov of Myedvedeya was talking to young Kaye Rocoossk after Jeru FC had beaten Deep South Sopia 5-2. The Count was pretty happy with performance of his team after losing the last one.

Count: Say, Kaye ... you're just 14. What are you doing in the army?
Kaye: Mum and Dad are too lazy to get a job so I'm in the army to earn money! BOO!
Count: Really? That's rough for a young person like you.
Kaye: Yes, I don't get keep my own money either.

Count: So you're not here by choice then.
Kaye: No, I want to have a normal childhood. I don't want to die in the army.
Count: I think you'll get out and have a good football career, but not at the moment.
Kaye: I want a pay rise.

Count: Well, I can't give you one since I don't have the power.
Kaye: I'm getting paid peanuts just because I'm stupid kid.
Count: I just got this job, I don't want stir up the army too much.
Kaye: I want to be like Dazza, rich and with lots of kids.

Count: Well, she started her career at 14 just like you.
Kaye: But she played for Jeruselem, not Jeru FC. They get paid a lot more than little Kaye.
Count: Keep the faith, one day you'll have lots of money too.
Kaye: I can't even afford to buy one of those Pink Tiara thingies for that boobie cancer thing.

Count: Say, I'll buy one for you when I get the chance. It's for a good cause.
Kaye: Thanks coach!
Count: Err, call me Count eh?
Kaye: OK, err Count!

Count: What does your parents do?
Kaye: Sit at home, drink and smoke and complain about the world not giving them money.
Count: I don't have kids but that's not good parenting.
Kaye: Well, I want to be a good Mum. You know like Dazza, she's got lots of smart clever kids.

Count: Work hard girl. One day you'll show your parents, how it's done.
Kaye: For now, I'm an underpaid army clerk.
Count: Could be worse, could be on streets selling your body for money.
Kaye: I heard whores make good money these days!

Count: I'm not Jeruselemite, so I don't know. Ask someone who knows ... like the Dallas girls.
Kaye: Can I borrow your computer, I want to get on Dallas chat site.
Count: OK, don't go looking at weird stuff.
Kaye: I need a laptop ... more money to earn.

OOC: Oh, sorry. I got confused there. You can switch out her goal for anyone else's goal that you would like.

The Draistanian team managed to escape the media for that night, but the next day, Coach Dastrin was called out for an interview with the Sports network.

"This is the third loss in a row for Draistania," said the announcer with a bit of a smirk on his face, but his nose was still a slightly different color. It was a move of hostility by the network to send the same announcer again. "This puts you in last. It seems unlikely that you will be able to recover, doesn't it?"

"I don't really care what it seems to most people," Sean replied apathetically. "We are going to go out there and play again. There will be changes to our team, and soon. I can't promise anything, but I can say that we are on the harder part of our schedule right now and I look forward to victories in our coming games."

The news man looked annoyed. He wanted a surrender from Draistania. "One of your star players, Bartholomew Korff was ejected for foul play. How are you going to compensate for him?"

"His replacement, Walter Smith, has already proven himself more than capable. Losing Korff was unfortunate, but sometimes switching up the roster can revitalize a team."

"Coach, you say that you have played the harder part of your schedule already, but you will play these same teams again."

"And we will be better prepared for them. Besides, now we get on to some of the easier teams."

"You always say that your experience will help you, but then you keep losing, and seeing as how you are in last, perhaps these teams consider you to be an 'easier team'."

Sean laughed a little, but he still felt bitter on the inside. The network really did want to see him go down. Ironic, seeing as how this was one of the largest sporting event that they had ever covered and interest would drop if Draistania lost. "We keep losing, yes. But it is undeniable that they can never leave us in the dust in these games. And as to what the other teams think about us, I don't really give two shakes about that. They don't know us, but they will."

The reporter smiled and said, "Well, you've heard the coaches opinion off of his losing streak, back to you John."

"Watch your back," Sean said as the reporter was getting ready to leave. "I'd hate to see you get beaten up again. Last time it was players but maybe next time it will be cheer leaders."

"I would cancel any cheer leaders if I were you," the reporter retorted, "not even they will cheer you up if your 'ultimate Draistanian team' comes in last."

"I guess that words are worthless until they are proven. We'll just have to prove our words. Unlike you, I have a real job and am very busy, so you'll have to excuse me. Good day." With that, Sean took off to meat with the rest of the coaching staff.

Dancougar News!!
Note to self - Qazox has a new coach and maybe a new goalie soon.
Yessir. Gonna remember that for RP time.
Also, Ad'ihan's coach is about to lose his job. No, wait...

Furuya the ace in road win: Shiro Furuya's used to making an impact off the bench. Given a rare start by coach Solomon Bilbao, the A.F.F. man made the most of it. His two first-half goals were more than enough to power past Kelssek in a 3-0 road victory.

The Wings continued their march through the qualifying round with their most impressive showing yet, looking on form and without rust on their first road trip of qualifying proper. They looked different from the team that was shut down in Tundra Falls, although that might've been from Furuya. "He's gotten starts before, but he's playing with a different intensity," said teammate Shishio Jinguuji. "He knows he's running out of time to leave his mark on the team."

He's picked a late time to try and win his way into the starting lineup, but Furuya's performance in the past two matches has been stellar, with three goals to his credit after only notching eight in all his previous appearances, mostly in a substitute's role. The first in the match against Kelssek, though, showed all the calculated poise of a veteran. After receiving a pass from midfield captain Kevin Underwood, Furuya used his first touch to beat Simon Avant and then fired a low shot to the right of 'keeper Petr Zherdek. The 22nd-minute effort made it 1-0 and was the culmination of Dancougar's best offensive surge of the first half. After managing only one shot in the first fifteen minutes, Dancougar roared to life and started to move the ball around, winning two corner kicks and eventually creating the space needed for Furuya's goal.

Before a half hour was up, Furuya had a second. This time, Dylandy sprang Jinguuji on the right side. Jinguuji raced past Alexandre Tremblay - who was denied a shot at Port Royal teammate Dan Potts when he was a healthy scratch by Bilbao - and fired a shot taht Zherdek instinctively turned aside. But it fell to the feet of Furuya, who tapped home into the empty goal for 2-0. Kelssek, and their fans, were rattled, but the sudden deficit was a call for action. Yuji Watanabe faced an assault over the next ten minutes that required three saves and saw Casey Berber pick up his second yellow of qualifying on a clumsy foul. He'll now miss the home match against St Samuel.

"Defending a road lead is tricky, because you've got the crowd against you and that really motivates the other team," said Berber. "You need to just sit back and take the crowd out of the game, and that means preventing chances. And sometimes that takes a foul."

After halftime, the Wings went for the third goal. This opened up the midfield and allowed Kelssek to come dangerously close to pulling one back. Ian Sinclair rifled one off the crossbar and Paul Clifton's follow-up was frantically cleared by Sho Yukikaze. The 56th-minute effort was Kelssek's closest of the match, although that's not to say they generated no offense at all during the comeback effort. Yuji Watanabe did have to make six second-half saves to preserve the shutout.

Dancougar put the game beyond reach in the 71st. Dylandy received a pass from substitute Benjamin Whittaker and lofted one over the Kelssek line. Zherdek misjudged the flight of the ball and it dropped in just over his outstretched arm. "I was just trying to lift it up for [Jinguuji], and it floated in," he said. "Wouldn't be the first time I scored one like that."

The win bumps Dancougar to the maximum nine points from three matches.

Group six day in review: There were no real surprises on matchday three, with Rennidan and Qazox both winning home matches against debutants. The Eagles defeated Akbarabad 2-1, a scoreline which might ruffle a few feathers in the Rennidan camp, while the Phoenix cruised comfortably 3-0 over St Samuel, Dancougar's next opponent. In the third match of the day, Colbourne toppled winless Operata 2-1 on the road.

Backups on tap for St Samuel game: It's only the fourth match out of fourteen, and yet Solomon Bilbao's already dipping into his reserves? It's either supreme confidence or hubris on his part, but the team that the home fans see in Yuki City will be markedly different from the one that's got them to a nine-point start.

"It takes eleven to win a match, but it takes more for a successful campaign," said Bilbao. "We have talented players, and a home game is a supportive environment for them to get their feet wet."

Bilbao's using mostly domestic players for this match, with Sho Yukikaze, Kazuki Midorikawa, and Kevin Underwood as the only foreign-based players scheduled to be on offer. Bilbao's going to try out the 4-4-2 and bring the tempo down a little, but he doesn't expect the style to be that much different. The match will also mark the debut of Dancougar's first native-born woman player, Karen Stadler, up front with Dan Potts.

STARTING XI: Brengle; Leeds, Carter, Samrov, van der Horst; Midorikawa, Underwood, Klingensmith, Morisue; Potts, Stadler
SUBSTITUTES: Silberstein; Raikatuji, Yukikaze; Voronzoff, McNespy; Garbett, Dinsmoor

Game 4: Preview Sarzonia

I can definetly say this time that we have never faced the Sarzonian National Team in a game before. Last week when I stated that we had never face the Valanorans, i was wrong we have once or twice before. Sarzonia though I am 100% sure the Knights have never faced. The Knights will welcome them to Docktown Memorial for what was originally supposed to be a friendly, but plans were changed after the group draw and know it seems that the unranked Sarzonias, a former international powerhouse will be facing the P-Knights twice this year in home and away ties.

The two nations who had originally only intended to play one this year, and possilbly continue the game for years to come had a sudden change of plans just two months ago at the Group Draw. Know the Knights hope they can get at least 4 points in the two games against the Sarzonians, which should help the Knights. Though i wouldn't get caught ahead of myself, the Sarzonias have been in the finals of the cu before so they know how to play ball and there is definetly a difference between having been there and having dreams of being there.

The Zito Zip
Long trip to Europe.
Jet Lag and clearing customs.
French wine, Italian food,
German Beer and Swiss Chocolate.
Bloating and what the heck
is Spotted Dick?
Enough excuses, Wombats lost.
Unknown scorers for Europe,
Edward Griffin got goal late,
subbed in for Dale Henke.
Henke hurt ankle, not serious.
Now have to face Tynelia,
first time in while.
Need a win or else
qualification will be tough.


Schedule:
MD1: Secristan D 1-1 (0-1-0)
MD2: Terreiro de Ogum W 1-0 (1-1-0)
MD3: @ Euro Federations L 1-2 (1-1-1)
MD4: Tynelia
MD5: @ Rymeria
MD6: Peisandros
MD7: @ Lovisa
MD8: @ Secristan
MD9: @ Terreiro de Ogum
MD10: Euro Federations
MD11: @ Tynelia
MD12: Rymeria
MD13: @ Peisandros
MD14: Lovisa

Pruxton Globe

Dr. Mkembe had a plan to counteract the unusual occurances that plagued the Zombies in the first two qualifying games. About 5 minutes before the game began, 200 witch doctors from around Prux gathered around the stadium and performed some sort of ritual. It seemed to work as Zombie Pelé and Zombie Ronaldo each scored goals in the first half. But at half time, a few of the witch doctors had to leave due to passport problems, and the so-called-spell ceased to work. Bears Armed took quick advantage as a flock of ravens decended upon the stadium, actually scaring a couple of Zombies, who must have remembered the crow attack in Yafor 2. Marrla o GreenWoods scored two quick goals, evening the match at 2-2. But then Dr. Mkembe pulled out on last trick, a living scarecrow which frightened off the ravens. Bears armed pressed forward attack after attack, but the Zombies held firm, and in the 83rd minute, a penalty on Borrinna o HighPeaks for tripping Zombie Zinedine Zidane, allowed Triple Z to score on the ensuing penalty kick, giving ghe Zombies a 3-2 win, their first of the campaign.

Now the team plays host to Iseerussiafrommyhouse, which should be an easy win, as the northerners probably won't be used to 80 degree heat at nighttime.


The schedule is this: (along with our Predictions for the Zombies)
Game 1: @ Yafor 2 LOST 0-2
Game 2: vs. Cafundeu LOST 1-2
Game 3: vs. Bears Armed WON 3-2
Game 4: vs. Iseerussiafrommyhouse (Win 3-0)
Game 5: @ Brightonburg (Win 3-1)
Game 6: vs. The Blouman Empire (Draw 2-2)
Game 7: @ Myedvedeya (Draw 1-1)
Game 8: vs. Yafor 2 (Draw 1-1)
Game 9: @ Cafundeu (Loss 1-4)
Game 10: @ Bears Armed (Win 2-1)
Game 11: @ Iseerussiafrommyhouse (Win 4-2)
Game 12: vs. Brightonburg (Win 4-1)
Game 13: @ The Blouman Empire (Loss 1-2)
Game 14: vs. Myedvedeya (Win 2-1)
PREDICTED RECORD: 7-3-4 24pts 3rd in Group.
ACTUAL RECORD: 1-0-2 3pts; 6th in group.

Akbarabad slump to second consecutive defeat.

Akbarabad registered a second consecutive loss in qualifying, this time away to Rennidan, by 2 – 1. Things looked more promising early on, when Akbarabad took a shock 9th minute lead through star striker Samin Akbar. However two second half goals by Rennidan, as well as injuries to key attacking player Hamid Kabir saw the side fall to a dissapointing defeat. Going into the next qualifiying match, the only upside is that the performance slightly improved from the previous defeat.

(Rockets players return to Newmanistan)

McAllister: It’s over, I’m so glad to be back home. Everything’s going to be back to normal now, right?

Drummond: I don’t know. Jenn, do you swear that that wasn’t you and it was some Dreamed Realm type ghost.

Vilardi: Shawn, I would never act like to you. I know how much it pains you that you don’t start anymore, and I’ve done my best to make sure it doesn’t extend to our off the field relationship. I would never gloat like that.

Drummond: Yeah I guess it was a worst nightmare thing type thing.

McAllister: And you’re not going to tell my wife about what we did ten years ago, right?

Vilardi: No, it’s been a long time. I’m over it, and you’re over it and I wouldn’t want to interfere with your relationship with Ashley. I know how happy you two are together and I respect that.

McAllister: Thanks, Jenn. So maybe things are going to be back to normal.

(Brett Carlson walks in)

Carlson: Yo Jeremy, what was up with last night?

Vilardi: Or maybe not.

McAllister: Hello Mr. Hotshot sensation.

Carlson: I was possessed man, that wasn’t me talking. But you deliberately hung me out to dry several times during the match. Especially that 58th minute try, I was (expletive) wide open and you took the shot. Then in the 70th minute, you pass to Jenn when I was there again. What’s the deal?

McAllister: You weren’t open. And you weren’t at a good angle.

Carlson: Oh that’s bullshit, maybe you are worried that I’m getting too many goals that you want to get. You want to be the only one to hit 100, huh?

Vilardi: What the hell, Brett, chill!

Drummond: You weren’t open, Brett.

McAllister: I passed you the ball when were in a good spot just like I always do. You weren’t open in the 58th, the defender had a good angle on you to get to the pass and I thought I had the keeper cheating to his left, which would have been your side. I did what I thought was best, it wasn’t anything personal, I’m not like that. In the 70th, I had a clearer lane to get a pass through to Jenn. I knew you were there, I just didn’t think I could get it to you cleanly.

Carlson: Yeah whatever.

Vilardi: Brett, we don’t need to be arguing about this.

McAllister: I want you to get 100 one day, Brett. I don’t care if you score more then I do one day, what matters is that Newmanistan finally makes the World Cup Proper.

Carlson: Well, we’ll see what happens in the next game. It’s in Putnam Lake so I know you want to be the hero in front of your home fans.

Drummond: Would you stop already.

McAllister: What matters is that we win the (expletive) game. I don’t care who the (expletive) hero is as long as we win. I thought you knew me better then that.

Carlson: Ok well we’ll see tomorrow.

(Carlson leaves)

Vilardi: Do you believe what coach said, is there a Di Bradini Curse on us?

McAllister: Di Bradini has no reason to want to curse us.

Vilardi: I don’t think so either but since he died the Empire has been 10 finals in various sports and only won two of them. It makes you wonder. Maybe he does resent us for being the last team to win a championship on Starblaydi soil while he was alive, the last two championships, actually.

Drummond: That’s a coincidence, not a curse.

Vilardi: And never making the Cup Proper when we know we’re better then some of the teams that do. We just always end up in a tough group or something. If there is a curse, how do we break it?

McAllister: I really don’t know. We’ve never been disrespectful of the man, his legacy, or his country. I don’t see why there would be a Di Bradini Curse.

Relief as Sandrians register 1-0 victory in Delphi

The Peisandros National Football team earned it's second home victory tonight after a hard fought game against Rymeria. The visitors showed plenty of heart and although the Sandrians had the majority of ball, Rymeria were able to kee them scoreless for over an hour. Their keeper, Matt Peters, had a stunning game behind a defence which at times struggled to maintain Costa Theotokis and Praxis Nikolaidis.

Early on it appeared as if the Sandrians would steam-roll their opponents, but Peters had other ideas. In the 7th minute, after Theotokis and Nikolaidis made a few members of the defence look silly, Lefteris Diakos was given a great opportunity to open their scoring balance. He received the ball just outside the penalty box and was one-on-one with Peters -- then nerves hit. The seventeen year old was playing just his second international game and this was his first opportunity for a goal. He thought about what to do. Should I dribble a bit closer or just shoot? How hard? Where? It culminated in a rather weak effort but was well placed. Peters dived to his right and was able to save it comfortably.

The best chance of the half came for Peisandros in the 23rd minute. After a long and methodical build up with precise passing which saw most players getting a touch, it was left to Nikolaidis and Theotokis in a two-on-one situation. With all the skill in the world, Nikolaidis drew the defender and gave the ball on for what surely would be a Sandrian goal. Costa unleashed a great shot towards the top right corner, 1-0 everyone thought... But no. Peters somehow got a fist on it and parried the ball in to the shocked Peisandros crowd.

"What the fuck? That's some amazing keeping. Looks like I'm asking Nicola out for dinner. Damn" Theotokis could hardly believe it.

Peisandros dominance continued for the rest of the half -- managing ten shots compared to the visitors three. At half time coach Alexander Pappas made a surprise substitution. Luke Erasmus came on for Narcissus Theodore in defence. Theodore had been playing extremely well and the reasons for this swap are unknown -- but it must be said Theodore looked nonplussed about it all. Perhaps Pappas just wanted to give Erasmus some game time, considering how long it had been since he played good minutes.

Second half play saw Peisandros still in control with the defence looking solid as per usual. However there was one scare in the 63rd minute when Bryon Clark found some space behind Bion and Andreou. He was rushed for a shot though and in the end it was well saved by Pappas. The score remained at 0-0 with around 30minutes to go.

The only goal came in the 71st minute when Diakos made up for his earlier mistake. Again he wasn't convincing with his effort, but atleast he was able to put the ball in the back of the net. Again Theotokis had a large part to play in the lead up, as he drew two defenders and was able to set up Diakos. Even though Diakos looked unsure with ball at feet, his shot somehow managed to get past Peters. 1-0 after 71 minutes and Peisandros had the lead they probably deserved.

Coach Pappas was very happy with his team, especially as they rallied from a 2-0 defeat in their previous game.

"I'm very, very pleased. I think the boys showed an awful lot of heart out there to come back from defeat last outing. I just hope we can pick some points up in our next few away games. We're sitting second in the pool and we have already played the two highest ranked teams, but we need to consolidate that and keep working hard."

He also named one change for the next two match days, dropping his son Calisto and bringing in the only uncapped Theotokis brother -- Dorian.

YET ANOTHER DRAW

So that’s two games in a row now that have ended scoreless. Not exactly the way the fans are going to be convinced that soccer is an entertaining sport. The scoreless draw against the Euro Federations was one thing, and now we draw Terreiro de Ogum without scoring. This draw though actually needs to considered a very good thing. The Orixas worshippers are one of the top ranked teams in the group, and a country that we will need to get by if we are to somehow, you know, qualify for the World Cup. With the road loaded opening schedule, Secristan sits in fifth place in group five with the three draws. Eventually the team will need to win, but if they can get through this road portion, things might actually look good over the second half. If nothing else, they will look good for the Secristan Department of Sports as they can continue to sell the fact that the Millionaires still have a chance.

The SDOS reports that pay-per-view purchases were within their window of expectation for the Terreiro de Ogum match and now we all brace for the contest which has the highest amount of purchases going for it right now. At Rymeria, a match that is from a whole other planet. If this match ends up scoreless, it should be worth it just to see what life and soccer is like in Rymeria. Their lifeform has struggled against earthlings so far, having dropped all three games that they have played, but we know that they will be excited for a true home game. The match, unfortunately, will not be televised live as our satellite signal cannot reach this far, but it will be recorded and the tape of the match brought back home on the Hera, taking the concept of a “tape delay” to a whole new level.

Joesph's Online Blog...

Hey guys this is Joesph again.
I would just like to thank you for all the wonderful comments you have left on my previous post "How Greali zoos are awesome". Yes, those bears are awesome.
I would like to wish good luck to our team playing Jaseuyeon early tomorrow. My probably Howard Anderson's biggest fans. HE IS AWESOME! Please become a fan! Maybe he'll score ten times today and help beat the hell out of Jaseuyeon! Either way, I wish good luck! I am surprised by Jaseuyeon's recent wins over Jeruselem and Starblaydia. Are those teams fielding mice? That would explain how they got crushed so easily....

OOC: Basically, this guy is annoying.

Sandrians 'prepare' for next game

Costa, George and Dorian Theotokis on plane to Terreiro de Ogum

GT: So did you ask her?

CT: Yeh, she was a bitch. She told me if I scored more goals she might think about it. I was like, bitch what? I've scored nine goals in thirteen games!

GT: Well, you couldn't score against Rymeria. If I was her I wouldn't want a bar of you either.

DT: Too true. Hey, you know what pisses me off Georgie?

GT: You being the only non-striker in the family?

DT: No dickhead, the fact that you're not playing in my debut.

CT: Hey that's true. It could have been like old times if it wasn't for your stupid ankle.

GT: Man, I think you'll be in the starting eleven for a fair while now, so don't stress. I'm aiming the Secristan game for my comeback.

CT: I don't know if you'll make it back in to the starting line up now that Lefteris scored that winning goal..

GT: Bullshit, you know coach likes us two up front. I don't think you by yourself really works.

DT: That's true, it doesn't really look that stable. You two together work well. Hey guys, I'm pretty fucking nervous for tomorrow.

CT: Ack bro, you'll be fine. Sure, Terreiro de Ogum are ranked 32nd, but they are down in 7th place of our pool, they haven't even scored a goal yet!

DT: Exactly -- they must be due. I just wish coach could have waited till we get home.

GT: Nah, you know that pressure from the board finally got to him -- even though Calisto was doing a good job.

CT: Just make the most of it. That's what I'll be doing. I'm still pissed Lefteris got a goal and I didn't.

GT: That's true. You need to get as many as you can so you can score Nicola!

DT: I can see the headlines now, "I'm banging Costa!"

CT: As if. Fuck off.

OLHO NO LANCE! - YOUR SPORTS MAGAZINE
Partner of Globo Multimedia

WORLD CUP 44 QUALIFIERS – full coverage
Written by Sílvio Ruiz with comments by Breno Gavião (from TV coverage)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CAFUNDÉU PROVES STRENGTH IN STRANGE FIELD

In the third game of the qualifiers, the Cafundelenses had to face adverse conditions on the pitch. It was expected that the Monopolists would have to play in some strange place in the game against Prux as, after all, their team is composed by zombies, most coming from the successful afterlife teams Bayern Tombs and Real Grave – with also Zombie Ronaldo, the latest signing of Corinthians Spirits - (although Inter Morgue also has a good amount of Prux NT players), according to afterlife world scholar Fernando Xavier. Of course Cafundéu was prepared for this game, knowing how to expect from the zombies, but treating them as common players.

When the game started, the Cafundelenses attacked with the strategy and tactics prepared by David Nefasto prior to the game, and were playing well. But, in the tenth minute, it was noticed that the field was filled with beetles and other insects. It was stupid to think that something like this wouldn’t happen… after all, both teams were playing in place full of dead people! Of course there would be insects there! The darkness made it difficult for the players to avoid the beetles, and both teams suffered with that. The zombies even seemed to have some kind of allergy to them.

Battling against the beetles, Alves was able to forget the problems in the field and scored the goal soon after. Prux worked hard to react, in a curious play, as while the zombies were facing the allergy, the Cafundelenses weren’t used to this infestation. Pelé scored for them. In the second half, the responsibility to take the victory was pressing the Cafundelenses, who had few good chances. To make things worse, Alves had to leave the field as his leg started to hurt, and Augusto César feared the beetles and left too. Luckily, Hubert scored a goal in the last minutes to ensure Cafundéu’s victory.

PRUX 1x2 CAFUNDÉU

Place: International Prux Football Center, in Prux.
Attendance: some people alive and thousands of dead ones.
Time: 18:00 Cafundelense time (00:00 local time).
Climate: clear, 23ºC.
Referee: Luke Safirre (Starblaydia).
Assistants: Hugo Toss (Bazalonia) and Kevin Serdergh (Krytenia).
POTM: Zombie Franz Beckenbauer (Prux).

PRUX: Z.Kahn; Z.Sergio Ramos, Z.Facchetti, Z.Materazzi and Z.Beckenbauer; Z.Matthäus and Z.Maradona; Z.Zidane, Z.Fontaine, Z.Ronaldo and Z.Pelé.
Coach: Dr. Mkembe.

CAFUNDÉU: Kardec; Cotuba (Igor 77’), Renildo, Titov and Luizão; Silveira, Fabinho, Augusto César (Túlio 45’) and Marossi; Alves (Danilo Sampa 50’) and Hubert.
Coach: David Nefasto.

Goals:PRX: Z.Pelé 39’.
CAF: Alves 16’ , Hubert 84’.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CLOSE DRAW IN KEY AWAY GAME

After that strange game against Prux, which hopefully ended with a victory for the Monopolists, Cafundéu went to Yafor 2 again to play against the Yaforites. This time, both teams seemed ready to play with much more will to get a positive result, battle every minute to score a goal. Last time Cafundéu was able to get a nice win in a good game, with few incidents and some interesting plays. Of course this time things were different. There were some violent challenges, more dispute in the midfield, and more goal opportunities. Cafundéu played really badly in the first half, and paid the price in the second: was unable to get the three points.

In the first half, Cafundéu had the first good goal chance of the game, with Titov nearly scoring with a header after a corner kick. But, after that, the team seemed to forget how to play football well, and let Yafor 2 dominate the game, controlling well the ball and starting some good moves. Cafundéu’s midfield, praised by the whole world for its good ball control and technique, was dominated by the Yaforites. So, it didn’t take long for a goal to appear. Kariid took the ball in the midfield and crossed to Dariegan, who headed to score his goal.

For the second half, the Monopolists returned to the game. Really returned, as the team seemed to wake up and play a better quality football. Nefasto kept making changes in the team, trying to react and avoid a loss, but Yafor 2 seemed to be able to control the Cafundelenses until the end of the game. Time was passing, and Cafundéu was playing better, but unable to score. Then, finally, Renildo took the ball from Accursas in the defence, invaded the area and shot to score. Cafundéu continued attacking, expecting the victory, but the players and supporters had to be happy with the draw.

YAFOR 2 1x1 CAFUNDÉU

Place: a nice stadium in Yafor 2.
Attendance: a good amount of people, we are sure of that.
Time: 21:15 Cafundelense time (18:15 local time).
Climate: rainy, 24ºC.
Referee: Paul Matten (Newmanistan).
Assistants: June Mitchell (Newmanistan) and Carl Barks (Milchama).
POTM: Maharta Kiranar (Yafor 2).

YAFOR 2: Sidan; Varanias, Kariid, Riegan and Accursas; Juhan (Riegan 60’), Kiranar, Otavias, Valinal (Ya’haan 82’) and Ilsinha (Danilo 73’); Dariegan.
Coach: Rúmil Oronar.

CAFUNDÉU: Kardec; Cícero, Renildo, Titov and Luizão; Silveira, Zé Sho, Augusto César (Fabinho 80’) and Túlio (Serrano 63’); Danilo Sampa (Marossi 45’) and Hubert.
Coach: David Nefasto.

Goals:YAF: Dariegan 30'.
CAF: Renildo 79’.

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SUPPORTERS ANXIOUS

After three games (four if including the friendly) played in this World Cup 44 campaign, the supporters can’t wait for the moment when the Monopolists will return to play in home ground. All the last four games were played in other countries, and this will happen with the next two games too, both in the qualifiers for the next World Cup. Although the supporters are confident that Cafundéu can get the points in these away games (after all, once it was believed that Cafundéu played better away than at home), they miss their favourite players playing with the country’s shirt at home. Of course, the CCFM expects to profit a lot with this situation. The amount of tickets to be sold for the first home game of the team is expected to be huge, and a big party will be done in this day, hoping for a successful campaign.

Cafundéu – line-up for the next game: Kardec; Cícero, Renildo, Titov and Luizão; Silveira, Zé Sho, Augusto César and Marossi; Alves and Hubert.
Coach: David Nefasto.

Referee: Arlindo Broccocco (Qazox).



WC goalscorers:

3- Alves
2- Hubert
1- Danilo Sampa and Renildo

Qazox (2) 3 v St Samuel (0) 0

St Samuel travelled to the Henrí Savagé Stadium with the almost impossible task of getting points out of a tough match against Qazox. After a 4-0 defeat against Rennidan, the Latin Crusaders main aim was to keep the score down and after a 45 minute bombardment in the first half, manager Georgi Monte-Cristiano, would have been happy that his side were only going in two-nil down. The two goals from Raul de Olivares on the 17th and 41st minute after Qazox broke down St Samuel's six man defence. St Samuel rarely challenged Natalie Dansen and the only chance of note for St Samuel, was a long range effort from Leo Sensini which was stopped by Dansen.

St Samuel looked somewhat more improved in the second half and created some early chances with both Sebastien Atalanta and Aaron De Villion being denied by Dansen. With nine minutes left, Raul de Olivares found himself through on goal, but Luther Della Rosa did well to catch up with the Qazox striker and his tackle looked well timed as he slid in and took the ball away from de Olivares' feet and then taking the striker down. But the referee disagreed pointing straight to the spot for a penalty. Miche Fanimov dispatched the penalty making the final score three-nil.

The defeat see's St Samuel on only one point after three games and having conceeded seven goals against the 2nd and 3rd favourites to qualify, they now face there toughest task when they travel to Dancougar, who are currently ranked 3rd in the world. Once again, the aim of the day will be to conceed as few as possible.

(In the Locker Room after Arroza's 2-1 win at Solenial)

Ok, ok. I know you're all happy that we finally came together as a team and got our first win, that's well and good.

The room erupts into spontaneous cheering and it takes Valente a minute or 2 to calm everyone back down.

But I have to caution you before we get on the plane tonight to go to Koseli. They're a completely different culture than most of the nations we've had to deal with in the tournament. First rule. No drinking. Ethnic Turks aren't allowed to drink anything stronger than tea or coffee because of their religion, so in order for us to play the good role, we're going to need to not drink this week either. Also, their tea is horrible, it's bitter, and completely lacking in sugary goodness.

Second, we're already playing in a different part of the country because of the riots over them losing in Kose Sehir. Basically, this is not a country full of effeminate guys that you want to piss off. They burn cities over losing soccer games. Now the new place we're going to, Azerbaycan. I honestly know nothing about it, but the guidebook says it's full of Azerbaijanis, and that they're nice people except for some other customs that I'm not going to describe here. You'll get a copy of their warnings on the plane so, be sure to read up so you don't get stabbed by some goatherder.

Third, when we do win at Azerbaycan, there will be no celebrating, no dancing, no anything. You will play like the professionals that some of you are. We will also be leaving the country immediately to go to Wentland. You can have your day off there.

Statisticals from last match:

Arroza 2: Lancaster 14 (2), Cottrill 43
Solenial 1: Forward 83

Cards: Elliott (Yellow), Defenseman (Red)

Schedule:
@Syktvykar L(2-1)
@Demot L(1-0)
@Solenial W(2-1)
@Koseli Cumhuriyetler
@Wentland
Bactrian Camels
@Bazalonia
Syktvykar
Demot
Solenial
Koseli Cumhuriyetler
Wentland
@Bactrian Camels
Bazalonia
3 points; 5th in Group 3

Blogsnorths.sn
Sorthern Northland's slaniest website.

We're slani and we know we are. By Buckiesareberks

So the SN squad for the 44th World Cup was announced a couple of weeks ago and qualification for it is well under way. Having seen the squad and with three games played there's only one question to ask, do the SNFA actually want to achieve anything at this World Cup? We all know the answer to that of course, it's no. It always is. It's always the aim of the SNFA to miss out on qualifying for the World Cup and be invited to the Cup of Harmony. One manager was even sacked for qualifying for the World Cup and thus missing out on the Cup of Harmony altogether. And then last time round we hired Merginn Moffat and Ross Gaynor from Jeruselem and Arroza as our management team, even their ineptness couldn't stop us from making it too the World Cup.

To be fair to the SNFA there is some logic to their madness. We're ranked 21st in the world, if we do qualify for the World Cup we have little chance of winning it or progressing far in it, whereas we'd probably be one of the favourites to win if we were in the Cup of Harmony. Surely though it's better to be a carp in the sea than a whale shark in a garden pond? Is the Cup of Harmony even that much of an honour to win anyway? Bostopia have won it for a start, anything they win is devalued by around 984%.

What the SNFA's aims are though aren't much concern to me, after all the team usually achieves the opposite. What does concern me though is it seems the manager wants to achieves the SNFA's targets, just look at the squad he's chosen. An ageing goalkeeper who was never that good has been promoted from reserve to first choice, while Dirk Weber and Benjamin Gaudet both good young keepers are merely going as backup. Then there's the defence, how Yoda Obasweetie is still first choice I have no idea. Especially with Alan Cooper around. Cooper plays in Candelaria And Marquez for Margaret's sake, he's clearly our best defender. And what about Marek Krofcky in the midfield? Don't get me wrong, he will be a good player, in fact he will be the future, but he's nowhere good enough yet, he can't even tackle. And then upfront Giṓrgos Karyōtákīs is no first choice. Just look at his name, it's Greek! Everyone knows Greeks can't score goals, Kosenics will pretty much confirm that, and you don't want to argue with them. The biggest “What the...?” selection though has to be Lewis Graham. Sure he bangs in the goals in for Reading Town, but where are Reading Town in the league? 14th in the Third Division, that's where. And he's 27, surely there's got to be some better Sorthern strikers than a 27 year old Third Division player, hasn't there?

Cassadaigua will be coming to Beningrad for the next match, and I'm sure most bookies and pundits will have us down as favourites, and on paper we should be. However, if we even pick up a point, I'd be quite surprised.

A handful of radar signatures appeared on Erica's scope just a few miles to the southeast. Four were enormous; those would be the transport planes. The others were almost too tiny to spot, but the computer identified them as Dancougar fighters. There were five escorts. There was nothing on the radio from Kaguya, which Erica took to mean that the enemy had not responded to their movement.

Her radio buzzed on the military frequency. "Kaguya escort, this is Jackrabbit 15, Nordhausen, please confirm."

"Roger that, Kaguya base Freya team, confirming escort transition," Erica replied. The three Rhinemaidens emerged from cloud cover and shot over the transport formation. They were barely visible in the moonlight. They made a wide loop and doubled back, eventually pulling in line with the formation. "Normalizing airspeed..." Erica reported. Russ and Peter followed suit, and their movement relative to the formation ceased. "Transition complete, Jackrabbit, you're free to go."

"Take care, then!" The Nordhausen fighters raised their altitude and turned to head back. Erica checked the mission timer. Everything was on schedule.

"This is going smooth!" Peter said. "Man, I can't wait to get back and get some friggen' sleep! Guess their reach isn't that far after all."

"I surprised they don't think something's up back at the base, though..." Russ muttered.

Erica's shrill voice interrupted their conversation. "Cut the chatter, boys!" she yelled. "And keep alert. The mission isn't finished yet!"

"Sorry, ma'am!" Russ replied, closing his link to Peter. He leaned back in his seat and smiled. Good that you're taking this seriously, princess, he thought. That's exactly what we need right now.

**********

"We can destroy you at any time!" barked Boldozaa. The Nazar was broadcasting the man, Stephen, from before. Talking with him through some other magical screen was a man who called himself Brandenstein. This was getting annoying. These humans thought on a whim they could just converse with the demon lord, and now they had the gall to order him around. "I've had enough of your impudence!"

"My, my, and here we are trying to help you," Brandenstein sneered. "Or maybe you've just had a remarkable run of bad luck so far?" Gaizok stayed well clear of his lord. This human's will was maddening. Brandenstein folded his arms and addressed them confidently. "If you wish to be the ruler of men, you have to understand how they work. It's not enough to control them physically. As long as they have the will to resist, they will fight."

"And you're saying you understand the source of their strength?" asked Boldozaa. "It makes no sense why you should betray your people."

"That's why I'm telling you, you need to refine your understanding of men," Brandenstein replied. "Everyone has their reasons. We can be quite complicated."

"Enough, I'll have you tell me why I should delay our attack!" Boldozza interrupted. "We noticed the iron beasts approaching the mountain, and yet they stopped, and have just been sitting there. What are they waiting for? Why shouldn't we bury them now?"

"Their plan is not to attack you, but rather to defend," Brandenstein replied.

"Defend? What nonsense is that?" Gaizok laughed. His lord retained his cold stare, so he quickly shut up.

"Humans need food and water to survive, and quite frankly, your last few attacks have left us short of both," Brandenstein said. "They've scheduled to have more flown in on their 'iron birds,' as you call them. They'll arrive at the base shortly. I'm saying if you time your attack to destroy the planes just as they're landing, it will deal a crushing mental blow. To come so close and lose everything at the end."

"What good is that to us?" Boldozaa shouted. "Attack your minds? Useless!"

"You're certainly not going to defeat the iron beasts with your current strength," Brandenstein replied. "The four machines which combine into the form of a man... it's defeated you twice before and will continue to do so until you adjust the way you fight. The machine itself will not lose to you. It's the people inside you must defeat."

"Why is this?!" Boldozaa said. "What gives them so much power?"

Brandenstein smiled. "The man who sealed you away... is still with us." Now it was Stephen's turn to be surprised. He'd remained quiet since he connected the two, because frankly, he wasn't sure what game the colonel was playing. The legendary hero? Just what exactly did he know?

"Fool, he died trying to defeat me!" Boldozaa replied. "You're bluffing. I wouldn't be here otherwise."

"He used his body as a medium for the spiritual energy needed to seal you away," Brandenstein explained, arms still folded. "This exhausted his own life force, but his body did not turn to dust. Rather, it changed form. Along with that energy, he was bound to three crystal spheres which held you in check for all this time. Until they were found and removed by a third party... myself. Once the remnant energy dissipated, you were free to return."

Crystal spheres... then that's...!! Stephen made the connection in his head right away. He gave me shards for my experiments with this demon. That explains why it dissipates on close contact; the hero's spirit energy completely negates the demon's. And the power core installed in the Dancougar... yes, that would explain how it can fight them!

Boldozaa's eyes narrowed. "You're lying."

Brandenstein sat back and smiled. "I'll let you find out for yourself, then. Go ahead and send an elemental titan," he said. "It'll just be beaten like last time. I would advise you to focus on destroying the planes as I told you before. If all goes according to plan, I will help you win the final victory."

"We shall see about that!" Boldozaa replied. "We will go forward with the attack!"

Stephen closed the connection with the demon lord once Brandenstein himself signed off. He was still trying to figure out the colonel's plan. Why would he go through all this trouble if he's given the hero's spirit energy to the Dancougar? he thought. But if he had the ability, he could reseal the demon lord at any time. I want to know... who is actually being used!

Today's host post is by MC Hammer.

STOP! Cutoff time!

Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Domestic-International-Star-News-Today

Sports Section

Milchama Off to Terrible Start

The Milchama Warriors are off to their worst start in recent World Cup history. Ever since World Cup 29 the Warriors have qualified with ease to every World Cup and right now are in danger of something bad happening. Their rosterless first 3 games involved one win and two defeats. The last time this happened newspapers probably still did match reports, we hadn't yet heard about Margaret and most importantly probably had a similar roster to what the MFA just posted.

Why the MFA continues to create rosters that are more and more crazy is beyond me but this one nearly takes the cake (still losing out to the Great Alexandria roster from about 90 years before that posted for some AOCAF). Oy Gevalt is the only thing we can say. However the MFA was smart enough to actually "clone" the players, whatever that means. We really don't know there was some utterance about stolen Dream Realm technology through Marc J. Floren (whose playing again! How sweet is that?) and most importantly maybe with a roster the Warriors will be able to beat somebody who doesn't absolutely suck.

They might be in a hole but have what could be considered an all time roster, though most believe it puts a big emphasis on players that played early in the history of Milchama internationally at the expense of later, probably better players. As one fan said, "Sure Billy Timmons, Darian Flinters and Elana Kilinin were great however if they were the best ever how come they couldn't lead Milchama past octofinals? Where were they during World Cup 29 when we didn't qualify? Marchakov is better, Borker is better, There are many better players who the MFA simply didn't take into account here."

He makes a great point and we don't have a response to him. Why are there no players after about World Cup 34, which not only is the first time Milchama made the finals of the tournament, but also at least two, if not three, generations of Milchamian football. Also what about today's stars? Why aren't they good enough for the world? David Kralton scored 1.2 goals per game for Cadurim Athletic this year, you really don't think he could score against Nethertopia? Robin Persey didn't give up a goal in 21 consecutive games for Chaialim, is that not good enough for the world? According to the MFA it's not and that's what matters.

Maybe next cup we can get a regular roster, with real World Class Milchamians who will try to represent this great land. Until then we're stuck with a bad start and another mess of a roster by a once class organization.

-------------------------------------------------
"That wasn't supposed to be an editorial right?"

"Yeh it wasn't"

"What happened?"

"I have no idea"

"Does it matter?"

"Nope"

"Ok"

"So then shouldn't they change the title of the article?"

"This is a Milchamian paper, they have never checked facts and they probably never will, for better or for worse"

"Usually worse"

"Yep"

"Though turning that Bazalonian guy into a warewolf, that was awesome"

"That it was, that it was"

http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/7993/dailyturkjo0.png
Koseli Cumhuriyetler 2 Arroza 1
Serkan Ensures First Win

The Turks have done it! They've secured their first win of the campaign against Arroza. The first half was marred by some aggression from the home fans who were throwing projectiles at goalkeeper Orhan. The Turks had the first chance of the game with Oktay's powerful shot being held by keeper Justin Moore. After a long period of pressure from the Arrozans, the Turks defense finaly cracked with Orhan missing an easy catch that then bounced in favor of Martin Lancaster. The Turks came close the equalizing in the 44th minute with Gokhan hitting the post.

The Turks came out with a new life as they poured forward into the Arrozans half with Oktay heading wide in the 48th minute. It was in the 58th minute that Gokhan headed the ball past Moore who was unable to get a strong enough grip on the ball to keep it out. Then the Turks finally got the lead in the 92nd minute on the counter attack as Serkan drove the ball in from 25 yards. The final whistle sparked huge celebrations in Azarbaycan.

"Emergency Almost Resolved" - Defense Minister
The Defense minister has stated that the rioting in Kose Sehir is almost over and definitely past the worse. However despite this the next Turkic home game will be played in Azarbaycan to ensure the safety of visiting teams. However Sinan Kose will leave the emergency powers, in order to return to the national team, in the hands of his deputy: Erhan Ugur. Who is the Minister Of Annual Disasters. The damage caused by the riot is unusually high for a normal Turkish riot during the Football season. Using the Turkic Disaster Committees rating this is a 5 on the scale meaning either, poor football result, or removal of social order.

Coach Vehemently Denies Clock Scandal:
Tar Hornets Lose in Phantom 93rd Minute, 2-1

Azerbaycan – The game against Koseri Cumhuriyetler was marred by a possible referee controversy as the home team scored in the 93rd minute to win. After a relatively cleanly played, and mainly non-called second half the fourth offical signaled for 2 minutes on the clock for injury time. At exactly the two minute mark, the ball was deep in the home team's half. But instead of calling it then, they waited for Koseli to finish off a 40 second run across the field, capped of by a Serkin shot from 25 meters. Before Moore could even get the ball from the net to restart, th final whistle had been blown.

Tar Hornet Coach Al Valente responded to the controversy by saying that it isn't the referee's fault.

“Look. We're in their stadium, you've got to always assume that things are not going to go your way. Never forget Murphy's Law. Maybe he read the sign wrong, even if the guy is being malicious it doesn't matter. The point here is that we didn't play to the last whistle. If we would have focused on what we were doing, instead of already being halfway to the plane in our mind, we would have stopped Serkin's run and gotten a point. Otherwide we played a decent game.”

When asked about the upcoming game at Wentland, he was less optimistic.

“No. We're probably going to lose. I'm not going to tell the team that, but their getting into gear at the right time. The only good thing to come out of this schedule is the 5 straight matches at home in the second half.”

Statisticals from last match:

Arroza 1: Lancaster 32 (3)
Koseli C. 2: Gokhan 58, Serkin 93

Cards:
ARR: Robertson-Y, Terra-Y KOS: None
Fouls: Arroza - 23, Koseli C. - 7

Schedule:

@Syktvykar L(2-1)
@Demot L(1-0)
@Solenial W(2-1)
@Koseli Cumhuriyetler L(2-1)
@Wentland
Bactrian Camels
@Bazalonia
Syktvykar
Demot
Solenial
Koseli Cumhuriyetler
Wentland
@Bactrian Camels
Bazalonia
Group 3 Table.

Team GP W L T GF GA GD PTS
Demot 4 4 0 0 6 1 5 12
Bazalonia 4 3 0 1 10 4 6 9
Wentland 4 2 2 0 4 1 3 8
Syktvykar 4 2 0 2 3 3 0 6
Koseli Cumhuriyetler 4 1 2 1 5 4 -1 5
Arroza 4 1 0 3 4 6 -2 3
Bactrian Camels 4 0 2 2 0 6 -6 2
Solenial 4 0 0 4 2 7 -5 0

(from the 'Sports' section of 'The Bear Necessities'...)


BELLES BOLDLY BREAK BAD RUN!

Four-nil! To all of those nay-sayers who doubted whether the Bear-Belles would ever win a match in these World Cup qualifiers, despite their wonderful success in the 'Baptism of Fire', we point at the score from yesterday afternoon's [home] game against the team from the nation of 'Myedvedeya': Not only have the Belles now WON a match, but they did so by a landslide that reverses the score from their worst loss (to the group's top-rated team, 'Cafundeu'...) in this contest... Four-nil!
This victory brings the Belles two places upwards in their group, from 8th (& last) to 6th, overtaking not only Myedvedeya itself but also the zombie-using Prux.

The Myedvedeyan team is called the 'Kamchatka Grizzly Bears', and as that nation's population includes an Ursine element we were expecting to see at least a few Ursines amongst their players. This turned out not to be the case, as they actually brought along an all-Human team (OOC: correct me if I'm wrong...)... and a team whose members were mostly quite young Humans at that. They played well, and as one would expect considering their homeland's nature they weren't particularly bothered by the low temperature (which hovered just below freezing throughout the game), but although they normally favour a fairly aggressive style they just didn't seem very eager to take the offensive on this occasion. One of their strikers, Rozhdestvensky by name (& #25) by number, managed one shot at goal -- which o Barrdenn easily blocked -- in the 57th minute, but that was all. I've been told that the Ursines in their nation are respected by the Humans for their spirituality: Could it be that that attitude was carried over into this encounter, leaving those Myedvedeyans unwilling to act against the Belles for that reason?
Our own goals were scored by Karramarsar Sarra (17), Marra SunDaughter (31), Karramarsar Karra (43), and -- after the Myedeveyans had changed goalies at half-time, replacing their starter Bykovsky (#1) with the more experienced Saitov (#21) in the hope that he would do better -- SunDaughter again (79).
There were no injuries on either side, and no red cards were awarded.
Entertainment during the half-time break was provided by clowns and acrobats from Berhnum & Bahrlee's Circus ('The Greatest Show on Earth!').



(Full details inside, on page S-3.)


________________________________________________________


BELLES TO BATTLE BLOUMANS

Our girls' next match of this contest is another 'away' game, this time against the team of a nation that's called 'The Blouman Empire'. We haven't been able to find out much about either that country as a whole or its Soccer team in particular yet, and in fact they even seem to be treating the names of their footballers as a state secret, but they seem to be yet another bunch of Humans. Their team was rated at #39 internationally before this tournament began, but has overtaken not only the higher-rated Prux (30th) but also the group's highest-rated team -- that of Cafundeu (at 5th), which handed the Belles such a disturbing defeat in their first match of this qualiying series -- to stand at second place within 'Group 10' at present: Only the team from 'Yafor 2' currently holds a higher position than them, and the difference in those two teams' relative standings is due only to the Yaforites having a slightly better goal-difference.
When asked whether she thought her team had a serious chance at winning this match too, the Belles' captain Marra SunDaughter replied _
"Sure! We might have had a tricky start to this competition, with with back-to-back matches against our two highest-rated sets of opponents, and then had to face the evil magic of Prux and their 'walking dead' team, but we've hit our stride now -- as the scale of our victory over the Myedvedeyans clearly shows -- and beating a team that the international Soccer community considers to be generally that much weaker than Prux -- and even further than that below Jeru FC, whom we managed to hold to a draw in the pre-qualifiers 'friendly' as I really hope you recall -- should be well within our capabilities. We respect the rating system enough not to be over-confident, but there have already been several matches in this contest where teams beat much higher-rated opponents so why shouldn't we be able to beat these 'Blouman' humans?"

The final whistle blew and the entire Draistanian bench went wild. The field of Draistanian players were running around and celebrating as well. The stands were mostly silent, there were few Draistanians there, and some had come just to boo their team. Some were cheering though, and that was all the team needed for today.

Even Sean Dastrin cracked a smile, but he still knew that it was a long road ahead if he wanted to get to the next round. Still, he had finally proven what his team could do on the international scale, even if it was one of the games that he was already counting on winning.

The game started out well, with a goal at just 15 minutes in by Cameron Pollens. He stole the ball right after the Chutnusak goal keeper had passed it to one of the defenders, and Cameron stole it immediately and went in with no defenders in front of him.

5 minutes later, Vince Peterson kick the ball from much to far away. The goal keeper thought that he had it easy, but Daniel Buress surprised him when he jumped right in front of him and made a header into the goal.

Zachary Dane was yellow carded once for a bad entry, but little happened for the rest of the half.

Just two minutes after the start of the second half, Chutnusak made a huge goal when they kicked it from over 20 feet out but still managed to make it past the goal keeper. Many feared that this would be a repeat of last game, but refused to give up.

Then, Cameron Pollens was fouled and he got to make a foul shot. He kicked it right over the wall of men in front of him and into the corner of the net. Now Draistania knew that it would be different.

At 80 minutes in, Jeremy Wright received an excellent pass from Peter Malcrom and kicked in for a goal.

Now, Sean had finally achieved a victory with this team. All the same, he had watched the team, and some of the players still weren't giving 100% out there, and they would be removed from their starting positions.

Chutnusak 1 Draistania 4

Exhibition Place, Kirkenes; Kelssek..

17': Clifton sails a shot just over the crossbar
"Goddammit, Wesley! Why the hell were you checking down Rory Smith instead of Paul Clifton?!?" yelled Fernando Tuek from the sidelines.

19': Clifton scores
"Shit! Dammit, Wesley, cover Clifton next time or else we'll be down 2-0!"

Halftime( score tied 1-1)
(Jason Erca tied the match in the 40th minute)
In the locker room:
"Ok, we're tied up at 1-1 all, but we played like shit out there. Defense, stay with the players I told you to check down. Wesley, whereever Paul Clifton goes, you go. I want you to be so far up his ass, you see the back of his throat. If Clifton doesn't get the ball, Kelssek's offense isn't as good. Alright, now let's get back out there and win this!" Turek bellowed just before the players went back out on the pitch. "Wesley, hold up a second."

Wesley Teahen turned, "What?"

"So how did things go the other night with you, your parents and Natalie?" he asked.

"How did you know," Wesley replied.

"Well for one, Natalie told me, and secondly, it seems to be affecting your play. You've let Clifton get behind you twice and ww're lucky that he only got that one goal." Turek replied. "So what happened?"

"My parents weren't too thrilled that we aren't getting married, but other than that, they're happy. I guess just the stress of the pregnancy and the fact that I'm going to be a father just is getting in my head." Wesley answered.

"Don't worry about it too much, just try to keep your head in the game. Heck, I went through the same thing back in World Cup 30 qualifiers, and it worked out. Just play your best, and let the off-field stuff stay off-field, ok?" Turek replied. As Wesley left, he thought '3 down, 8 to go.'

(Qazox would go on to win the game 4-1 thanks in no small part to the ineffective play of Kelssek's Paul Clifton, who managed only 2 touches in the 2nd half. Qazox took the lead in the 63rd minute on a goal from Raul de Olivares, and added two Michelle de Barre gols, in the 78th and 85th minutes)

Purple Knights Tie The Sarzonians

Docktown was geering up for its second game this season versus former world power, with a knew team and outlook years after they had top form, the Sarzonia Stars. The Sarzonians and led my manager Brian Wilson(Beach Boys?), were gearing up to play there fourth game back in world cup qualifying verse the purple and gold. The Knights came in ready to beat the unranked Sarzonians, but as many games before have shown the Knights can never win the expected to be easy game. Yes, they tied it 1-1 in an epic game of strategy.

the game started with the Sarzonian kickoff, and from then on the game was intense. they traded many possesions all game and played some pretty rough futbol. Finally the coaches son, kindoff like our coaches sons, broke through the Knight defense and smashed the ball past Goalkeeper Tad Montague. Then the game grew even fiercer. Then Sarzonian Defender Spencer Hicks, and Taeshnai Forward Hele both dove for a ball deep in Sarzonian territory, and Hicks was gaven a unreasonable red card on an extremely bad call by the Cassadaigua ref. Later the Knights would score the final, and tieing goal with a Brian Ying Uing header.


Up next for the Knights is the team from Dariusville. Yet again the two teams will meet in an important qualifying game. the Knights are looking to coast threw this game as Daehanjeiguk's game is upcoming after the next game versus that other team. The Knights will need two win at least one of these games to keep in the top three before the mid qualifying frinelies. And Daehanjeiguk's game are always highlights in the footballing season.

They called themselves ‘da guvvermunt’. This was slightly ambitious, since there were only four of them at the best of times – one of which was in prison currently, following a particularly unpleasant scooping (modern C&M is quite keen on health and safety, in and out of the workplace, and knives are not all that easy to find, even on the dinner table. Candelariasians tend to have quite thick skin on their fingers these days, if you wish to mark that fact down on your character sheet), and a second currently in bed, nursing a hernia.

Never the less, this district was widely considered to be theirs, by dint of the fact that they said it was, had piercings, and that one of them was black. The latter point would be unworthy of note most everywhere else in Albrecht, but the district of Kingston hadn’t cottoned on to the notion of a multicoloured underclass just yet.

Currently, they were watching a minor dust-up between the Honeysuckle Avenue Massiv and Da Little Fluffy Bunnies Street Crew (following a commitment by the City Council some years ago to wuss-up the names of the more gritty streets in this part of the capital for reasons of somewhat overambitious social engineering) with vague amusement. There wasn’t actually any fighting of course (somebody might’ve got hurt, after all), but the moving from foot to foot and staring out from under the hoodies was becoming pretty vicious.

Presently, a young man dropped out of the sky and came to a thudding stop in the middle of the road.

This doesn’t generally happen and, as a result, the more sensible members of the HAM and DLFBSC decided it hadn’t actually happened at all, and that they’d best scarper quick and forget that it hadn’t ever happened as soon as possible. Da Guvvermunt remain in place however, staring impassively at the newcomer.

Wobbling slightly – though nowhere near as much as someone in his position might have been expected to – the suitably pale man clambered to his feet and dusted himself down.

“Good morning!” he said, brightly.

Masta Monkey Smuggla and Mista Buddha Ballz glanced at each other nervously. The young man’s eyes said it all – he was plainly off his skull on medicinals, which in Candelaria And/Or Marquez was not an especially easy thing to do. Plainly, this was someone worth knowing.

“You arright, blud?”

“In all my years, my young friend, I have never felt better than this… Ha, a punishment indeed! Truly, my captor was correct in his assertion – my eyes have never been this open…”

“Yer tellin’ me,” Mista Buddha Ballz grinned, “Or that bloodshot and woggling from side to side, innit?”

The young man frowned, and camply tucked his hair behind his ears. “Would it be at all possible for one of you gentlemen to avail me as to my current location?”

“Yous in da hood, bro!”

“Shnizzle,” Mista Buddha Ballz agreed cheerfully, “But also, like, more accurately, this is Honeysuckle Avenue, Kingston. West End, innit, fo’ shizzle! Um. About them…”

“My apologies, boys?”

“Yer ears, blud. Them is well gangsta!”

“Yeah, where did ya get ‘em done, dickhead?” Masta Monkey Smuggla breathed admiringly.

The figure paused for the first time. “Er… Char Sara…”

“Aight. That’s over Mary’s Park way, innit, bruv? Gotta be painful to have them put in, though, yeh get me?”

“It was…” the man said quietly, staring off into middle-distance for a moment. A little colour had returned to his cheeks, but not much. Appearing to make a decision, he turned and stuffed his parachute back into the pack now dangling off one arm, before pointing down the road with his free hand. “Would this be the way to the nearest public transportation outlet?”

“Er. Yeah.” Mista Buddha Ballz paused nervously. Now you came to really look, they really were awfully pointy…

“Then I must take my leave of you. You have my gratitude, my friends…”

“Ponce,” Masta Monkey Smuggla muttered as he watched their new acquaintance leave.

Mista Buddha Ballz nodded, but curiosity got the better of him as he called out, “An’ blud, yeah, if you see dat Sara bird again, yeah, tell ‘er we’d be well down for some o’ dem ears, yeah?”

***

They called themselves ‘the other government’. It was a little joke, but only just. At the very least, the men arrayed in the meanly lit little room held more practical power than, say, the forlorn, atrophied, second chambery National Council. There were other, even more shadowy, organisations which could have a claim on rivalling the authority and influence of Robinson House and Parliament – The Ministry of Remedial Teaching, for one, though few here tended to think on that place for too long – but if the men here in Songstress could ever corral themselves into clicking their collective finger simultaneously, there would not be an entity in the Candelarias that would not rumble in silent dread.

There were twenty-one chairs here – seventeen of them rather elderly, albeit plush enough, the rest clearly tacked-on in more recent times – arranged alongside twenty-one little desks in a vaguely geometrical formation in the centre of the room, each far enough way from the other to ensure that, once everyone was seated, the risk of any individual stabbing, kicking or biting another was minimal.

Only about a quarter were currently occupied, with a dozen or so men still milling about around the further tables at room’s perimeters, helping themselves to wine and a variety of sad, squidgy things on sticks. There were no waiters, or assistants and secretaries – the conversations that took place here were far too clandestine for that. Plus, if the worst did indeed come to the worst, there’d be fewer witnesses.

Some of them, of course, were merely assistants themselves, or representatives of one kind or another. Even among this particular cadre of… businessmen, there were those who looked upon these sorts of meetings with distaste, though seldom on moral grounds. Some merely saw it all as small-fry, with bigger money to be made elsewhere. They gave their apologies, and stood well back – several countries away, for preference – and watched their honoured rivals plot, scheme, conspire… Oh, if only they could put aside their mutual hatred and work together without fear nor favour, some of the wiser ones knew, they could have the country at its knees. As it was, some of the most wise of all knew, the country had unwittingly devised the perfect trap for this small selection of its most ruthless men – they could never co-operate, not truly, when only one could ever have their hands on the greatest prize of all. The possibility of being the King among mere men, if only for a couple of years… who among them could give up that chance? Some things were more valuable that money.

One said, “Good for you, Allan. We couldn’t be happier for you, my friend. You’re going up in the world, clearly.”

One, who was Allan, said, “Thank you, Robert. We all have to do our bit for the collective, don’t we? Even though my company may be the glittering ball, the piece duh resistance, the money-spinner, you can all chip in, can’t you?”

One, who was Robert, imbibed a former dweller of the ocean depths with a soggy pop. In the hidden language of hors d’œuvre, understood by few outside the room, this was a clear indication of his desire to inflict extreme and unusual pain on his colleague, but Robert merely smiled. “You’re gracious to even think of the rest of us, Allan.”

“Not at all, Robert. No doubt you have plans to do the same, of course. To Demot, perhaps. Or Newmanistan. Of course, your venture lacks the pull, the resonance, the romance, of our product, but…”

“And what about you, Steven,” Robert interrupted, unwilling to become the metaphorical item of seafood sucked into Allan’s arrogant gullet, and turning instead towards a corpulent figure on his left, “Do you have plans to take the initiative and do the same? No doubt the Ariddians would pay a pretty penny,” he added, a smile returning to his lips whilst Allan valiantly smothered a guffaw.

“Perhaps,” Steven said sourly. He was still new to this, an amateur in a room full of experts, and wasn’t in the mood to take them on toe-to-toe. “But our project is continuing at a fine pace with or without further investment, Robert.”

“Ah yes, of course… You’re no longer in the bottom three. Congratulations on that, by the way, Steven. Ha, we’ll have you up in the Globe Cup before you know it.”

“We have been in a global cup final before, Robert,” Steven countered, before realising that this line of conversation would be a mistake, and directing his attention to Allan instead. “Talking of which, it’s been quite some time since your lot were in any final at all, wasn’t it? I should think your Eesseffian paymasters would be less than thrilled with that rate of, aha, success…”

“The knock-out stages of the… shlpp… Champions’ Cup pay for themselves, Steven…”

The trio eyeballed each other warily, before a previously unnoticed fourth said brightly; “Did I mention that he’s back?”

Robert sighed. “I believe you may have done, Martin…”

“He was on a cruise, would you believe! Back in the Empire, or thereabouts! There was me thinking something awful had happened…”

“That would have been a tragedy…”

“Oh, absolutely, Mr Adams!”

“Financially, of course, you might never have recovered…”

The one called Martin frowned. “Yes, I suppose so… But it’s just so good to have him back, Mr Gilbert! I said to him; Mr Pak, my life would’ve taken quite the turn for the worst if you’d ended up dead! And he laughed… He has such a sweet laugh, Mr Gilbert…”

“That’s nice. Everyone deserves somebody…”

Steven Mitchell chewed thoughtfully on a fig. “Even perverts?”

“Or axe murderers,” another, seated, figure suggested cheerfully.

“Or elves,” another wondered with a broad grin.

There was an awkward pause. Lee Adamczyk, the President, Vice-Chairman and Sporting Director of KT Hotspur, and a man who wasn’t nearly as mentally troubled as he liked to make out, slopped to one side and gently poked the last speaker with a biro. “Probably best not to bring up that sort of thing willy-nilly, Job…”

Job Handewasser, the Chairman of Tenderville United, frowned. “Why on earth not? We’re all men of the world, eh? I’m sure your country’s… stranger free-speech laws don’t apply to the likes of us, in this room…”

“Even so,” Robert Gilbert, the President of Albrecht Turkish, said quietly, “We have found it best not to randomly flout those… conventions, where possible. It makes for an easier life.”

“Whatever… Are we going to get this over with, then? We’re all busy men, I’m sure we have better things to do than sit around in the dark…”

“He probably has a point, Robert,” John Alessandri, the Chairman of Arrigo Portuguese, sighed. “I believe, given the status of those who can’t be with us today – ” This brought a few smirks from across the room. “ – it falls to you, as the senior Vice-President of the CMSC, t–”

“Actually I think it’s my turn, today.”

Alone among the room, Adamczyk grinned. He’d noticed already that a certain seat which should, by rights, have been left reverentially unoccupied was instead snugly full with a figure who, even in this self-consciously portentous half-light, was notable for a distinct hint of bosom. Facial hair and a hunch too, granted, and the combined man-boobage on offer in the room could’ve kept half a dozen Lamonian orphans well-nourished for a fortnight, but still… Bosoms under suits were not a defining feature of Adamczyk’s world, nor that of his colleagues, and well worthy of note.

Possibly not pointing at, however. Robert Gilbert carefully took his seat, lowered Steven Mitchell’s thrusting hand, and then stood up again, respectfully.

“Madam President…”

“Thank you, Mr Gilbert… Do sit down. Just an informal little get-together this, isn’t it?”

The eighteen CMSC1 club Presidents, Chairman and assorted representatives, along with the lone, oh-god-if-we-must, representative of the lower leagues, and the oh-christ-them-as-well? man from the CAMAFA, shuffled nervously in their seats. ‘Miss’ had arrived, and she wore a tight bun and promised little in the way of rewarding dinosaur stickers.

“So… Mrs Morton… What brings you to our little chit-chat?”

“Do I need a reason to check up on the activities of one of my country’s most valuable assets, Mr Gilbert?”

“Not at all, ma’am, you’re always welcome here, of course… Indeed, my colleague Mr Adams from Green Island and I were just discussing his club’s recent deal with Eesseffian television. Apparently the overwhelming majority of their fixtures will be available live over there – and on free-to-air TV, in some cases. Isn’t it warming to see football bringing our great nations together in these difficult times?”

President Morton and Gilbert’s eyes met briefly, in an expression of both mutual distaste and mutual enjoyment at Allan Adams’ uncomfortable expression.

“Quite. We always welcome our most aspirational businessmen forging brave new links overseas… However, there exists an entirely unrelated matter we should discuss. I trust you all saw the… unfortunateness at the World Cup draw?”

“Hell yes! Milchama, the Holy Empire, Septentrionia and Newmanistan! It’s almost unimaginable that the Falcons will qualify, I…” Job Handewasser trailed off. “Not that the progress of our national team concerns me in the least, of course,” he added hastily, blushing. Sporting patriotism was not looked upon well in this august company, he had established months ago. The national team was once and forever more, the enemy.

“It would indeed be a great shame if our dear neighbours were unable to join the party, Mr Handewasser, but I speak instead of Mr Mc O’Neil’s… departure.”

“Is there still no word from the old bugger?”

“To our mutual sorrow, Mr Alessandri, it seems not. And that means that our thoughts must turn to the future direction of the presidencies of the CMSC and CAMAFA. Clearly these are exceptionally important posts at any time, but with a World Cup just around the corner…”

“For one thing, Madam President,” Gilbert offered, “We would advise that the posts be formally combined. As a cost-cutting measure, first and foremost, as well as streamlining the relationship betwe–”

“Yeah, that’s not going to happen. The integrity of the CAMAFA is paramount at this time, though your counsel would be most welcome as to the new appointments. I myself was going to suggest Mark Baker for that particular vacant role…”

The President smiled inwardly at the dozen-or-so grimaces she could make out.

“That is one possibility, certainly… Perhaps his own integrity might be called into question there, however… There is so much of his recent past that remains unclear to us. In any case, as to the CMSC role, I would humbly put myse–”

“Again, Mr Gilbert, we find ourselves regrettably at odds…”

“I am the duly elected senior figure remaining at the CMSC, madam President,” Gilbert said reproachfully, as the rest of the club officials stared at their feet in a collective yeah-what-were-we-thinking-eh-tch expression.

“Yeah,” Adams piped up suddenly, drunk on bravado or, possibly, merely drunk. “Prolly wouldn’t be a great idea for your government to get on the wrong side of us, Mz President! We know things…”

Gilbert put his head in his hands momentarily, while a smile played over Morton’s lips. “Is that so, Mr Adams…?”

“We all know about, y’know… them. All of ‘em. We could make life proper difficult for you,” he continued, a few of the younger and dimmer chairmen nodding vigorously as he did so. “And this World Cup, well… You can’t afford it to fail, can you? Your minority government’s fading into three more years of utter obscurity and ineffectuality, and this was the one piece of legislation you knew you could pass through, because the Unionists and Soc Dems wouldn’t dare stop the World Cup coming to the Candelarias. How unpatriotic would that be, eh? You need this, you need us, an–”

…The wheels on the bike go round and round, round and round, round and ro–

The room glanced up, panicking slightly, where the CAMAFA underling blushed. “Sorry… My mobile, I’ll just take this…”

He hurried out of the room, the bright light of the corridor outside momentarily blinding the collective might of the CMSC. Morton turned back to Allen.

“On the other hand, we – I – could also take away Marlow Park’s right to host matches at the finals… I believe, financially, that would be…”

“Perhaps I’ve been a little hasty…”

“Good. No, the figure I was thinking of myself wa–”

The doors clattered open again, and Morton looked up in irritation as the CAMAFA underling hurried back in, followed by a rather taller figure. He sashayed, which was a highly unusual gate for any well-fed veteran of football administration, and lent nonchalantly against one of the surrounding tables.

Lee Adamczyk gaped. Compared to some of his colleagues, Sam Mc O’Neil, the President of the CMSC and Acting President of the CAMAFA, had been relatively svelte, but could never have been considered the body beautiful. And yet here he was – and you couldn’t mistake those eyes – looking, frankly, damn sexy. He’d lost several stone, the face lacked any hint of jowl or excess chins, and he clearly wasn’t getting enough iron; but the man was anything but ‘gaunt’ for all that. ‘Lithe’ sprung to mind.

“Good… heavens, Sam,” Patrick Flasher, the Chief Executive of Candelaria-Allemali, attempted after a short while, “You’ve been going a little hard at the botox, haven’t you?”

Mc O’Neil smiled broadly, putting that theory immediately out of the window. “And I welcome seeing you too, Patrick… My apologies for my absence, and delay in arriving to this little meeting… I was otherwise engaged. I trust there are no issues with my place at the helm of our great organisations?”

And of course there were, but the assembled men and President Morton found themselves shaking their heads enthusiastically.

“Wonderful. I’d say the future of the World Cup, and Candelariasian football in general, is looking most elfy, wouldn’t you?”

And of course, he did mean ‘healthy’, and the assembled men and President Morton nodded their heads earnestly.

“Glorious…” The most powerful man in the Candelarias turned towards the nearest table. “And now that that’s all sorted… Would anyone care for a prawn-onna-stick?”

Sarzonia Coach Brian Wilson delayed his appearance at the Taeshani press room after Sarzonia's 1:1 draw against world No. 34 Taeshan. For several minutes, the Stars sports information director could not locate the Stars manager.

Half an hour after his appointed time, Wilson finally stormed into the press room, slammed his right fist against the lectern and snapped, "I just filed a protest over that fucking red card that **** bitch referee gave Spencer Hicks.

"She has no business donning a referee's kit and showing up if she's going to make piss poor calls like that. All right, if anyone has any intelligent questions about tonight's match, now is the time. Otherwise, I don't need to hear from you."

Slightly nervous, but standing up anyway, Woodstock Daily Mail beat reporter Travis West decided he'd try it.

"Coach, can you talk about the team's tactics after you went a head 0:1? In the past, the Stars would continue to pour on the offence, but you played 10 men behind the ball until Hicks's red card."

Wilson glowered at West, prepared to blow up at him until the sports information director whispered something in his ear. Wilson whirled back, then looked back at West, trying hard to resume an even expression.

"We got away from what it is we do," Wilson said. "You're right about that. After Zack scored in the 44th minute, we probably should have continued to run our offence the way we normally would."

"Coach," West continued, aware that no other reporters were brave enough to ask questions. "How are you going to replace Hicks in the starting 11 for the next match?"

"Colleen Barnaby will get the start. We're going to maintain our 4-4-2 alignment," Wilson said.

"Coach," West said again. "How do you expect to bounce back against O Ale Ale?"

"O Ale Ale has a win already," Wilson said. "We're going to be back in front of our home supporters against a side who has the same ranking we do coming in. We just have to play Sarzonian football and not get distracted.

"That's all the questions I'm taking tonight. I'll see some of you tomorrow." He turned around and walked briskly out of the room. Unexpectedly, Hicks walked into the room.

"First of all," Hicks said, "I'm not here to discuss whether I thought the red card was justified or not. I'll probably get fined if I say what I think about it, but I will say that it came at a very inopportune time for us. We've been playing well as a unit, except for that clunker of a match away to West Zirconia."

"I'll take questions."

"Spencer," West began. "Can you explain why the team played 10 men behind the ball after Zack's goal?"

"I think some of us got a little bit too intimidated by their rank and the fact we were playing on their pitch," West said. "We know we beat the world's 11th ranked side, but that was at Marshall. Away is definitely a different story for us.

"I know that's not an excuse, but I'm as disappointed about that as you are. Hopefully, we can get better when we face O Ale Ale."

Even Chris Hannan was smiling.

The normally dour head coach of the Rymerian national soccer team was beaming as he awoke in his own bed. Several weeks of hotels, even including the luxurious suites reserved for the Rhinos near Government Park in Atalanta wore on him and the team.

This time, however, he was able to wake up, make coffee with his own coffee pot, then drive down the highway to the national stadium. Tens of thousands of Rhinos supporters made the trip to watch what was expected to be their only chance to see their heroes up close.

After a 3-3 tie against a Secristan team eager to experience an out-of-worldly experience, Rhinos supporters exulted over the first standings point their national team earned in four matches.

Hannan walked in with his dour face on until he saw the jubilation in the faces of his players. Then he broke into a wide grin.

"Savor this tie tonight," he said. "It's a well-earned tie. We take off for Atalanta tomorrow afternoon. We're going to take the night off, then we'll start practice to prepare for our match against Green wombat. But tonight, let's celebrate."

He picked up his cell phone and called Coach Paul Nolan and offered to take him out to a restaurant he knew was high-priced. He figured if Nolan accepted, he'd have a chance to try some otherworldly cuisine. Perhaps the Secristanis would come back and make Rymeria a tourist destination.

As for the match itself, goals by Secristan's James Rogan, Brian Marcott and Chris Coventry offset Rymerian goals by Bryon Clark, Mateo Calderón and reserve Ethan Davidson. Davidson's tally came just before the final whistle, so he was able to salvage the lone standings point the Rhinos scored so far.

"Money!" Davidson yelled, much to the chagrin of the defenders who gave up his goal.

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a300/WoollyLinnet/DailyHerald2.jpg

West Zirconia In New Vanorian Affair Scandal

The rumour mills are once again turning after Valanora, after dominating their visitors for so long during this World Cup Qualifier in Capri, gave away the softest of goals to even the final score.

The draw had already given the gutter press (and, of course, your very own Daily Herald) reason to gossip about potential, potentially illicit goings-on between certain people at the WZFA headquarters and their Vanorian counterparts. Unfortunately, our solicitors (Johnson, Watson and Thompson - For All Your Litigation Needs. Telephone Moorcroft 731218 Now And Start Bleeding Your Opponents Dry!) advised us that it would be inadvisable, if not physically painful, to name the people concerned.

So we didn't, hoping that the affair would go away. Actually, that's what we told our readers at the time, but we were secretly hoping for another bit of juicy gossip. But that sort of talk is for later. On with the game...

Roy Hazell named an unchanged squad for the game, having first made sure that any stray cats were removed from the stadium. From the very beginning, West Zirconia were on the back foot, with Laborious Hawk and Scott Soldarian being particular nuisances to the visiting defence. That said, Paul Paterson coped well, especially against Green Island team-mate Espy va Drake. Steve Gray showed with a string of remarkable saves why he must surely be one of the greatest players in West Zirconian history.

Still, even the best falter at some point, and so it proved after just half an hour, va Drake finally getting the better of Paterson before crossing onto the grateful head of Ikles Razov.

The second half proved just as difficult for the visitors, and there were protests when Titenburg lunged at Ed French, a challenge which had the West Zirconian on the ground for several minutes. The protests grew louder when the referee refused to send Titenburg off, choosing instead to book him. Although this injustice spurred the visitors on, they failed to make any inroads into the Vanorian defence, goalkeeper Tinehtelë being forced into just one save.

As the final whistle approached, West Zirconian desperation reached new heights as Steve Gray punted the ball three-quarters of the length of the pitch, to the waiting Alun Lydiate. As the seconds ticked by and several Vanorians approached, Lydiate blasted a shot towards the top left-hand corner. Tinehtelë managed to reach the spot Lydiate had intended to aim for, only to find that the Walton striker had scuffed the shot and was watching it trickle into the opposite corner.

The final whistle blew, signalling the start of a cacophony of Vanorian jeers and booing. It was at this point that the scandal really broke. Two Vanorian supporters, who had left the match in disgust after the Lydiate goal, made their way toward the exit when they saw in the shadows a man, later identified as WZFA vice-chairman Joel Francis, in a compromising position with an as-yet unidentified member of the Vanorian FA committee.

We thought that the draw had been fixed to bring these two teams together, but we never imagined that the game would have been fixed to ensure a favourable result for West Zirconia. Neither would we have imagined having found out why some people were so keen for the two nations to meet at any opportunity.

The return match, at Manchester Street, has just taken on a whole new significance. We will be there to bring you whatever information we can.



Valanora: Tinehtelë, Minyatur, Titenburg, Hocn, va Drake, Soldarian, Totez, Morose, Hawk (c), Razov, Soler.

West Zirconia: Gray, Phillips (c), Fox, Munro, Paterson, Hawthorne, Williams, French, McGowan, Forster, Lydiate.

Goals: Valanora - Razov (29). West Zirconia - Lydiate (87).

Booking: Valanora - Titenburg (64).


Meanwhile, our attention turns to the next match, against Liventia at Mort Park. West Zirconia have an excellent record at the STORMGroup Stadium, but it has been suggested that the reason is that they play the lesser-ranked teams there, preferring to entertain the top teams at Moorcroft or Banks. No doubt howls of protest will be heard coming from Liventians feeling somewhat offended by that assessment, but we are used to that kind of thing. Journalists aren't popular, you know.

Away point vital as group really tightens up

Dorian Theotokis enjoyed a fantastic, if somewhat quiet, debut, as Peisandros managed a hard fought nil all draw. The point keeps Peisandros in second place after four games -- a great achievement for the sixth ranked team in the pool. Group five is extremely close now, with just four points separating second and seventh. Infact five of the those teams have a zero goal difference. The group has obviously been working hard on defence, as apart from eighth ranked Tynelia, no team has more than four goals.

Today's game played against Terreiro de Ogum, the 32nd ranked team and third highest in the pool, was a physical encounter. Both sides are hugely defensive (Terreiro de Ogum are yet to score in four games and the Sandrians have only two goals) and it showed today. The shot count was horribly low, with Mestre Kacet and Guaxinim managing only four on goal between them. The Sandrians managed a few more, but were also unable to convert any chances.

Costa Theotokis had another frustrating game as he watched keeper Bibah save some shots that should really have been goals. He probably had the best chance of the game late in the first half. His captain Halkias combined with the other experienced midfielder Karras, to set up attacking star Nikolaidis with an opportunity to shoot. But the youngster noticed Costa on the other side of the box, so as he approached the keeper he gave a great ball on to Costa. However the keeper was somehow expecting it and flung himself across goal to pull off an amazing save. Theotokis could hardly believe it. The teams went to oranges on even footing.

In his usual random way, coach Pappas talked about a lot of things during the break..

"You boys are doing well. I mean, you could be doing better, but you're not doing badly. Not conceding is great, but at the same time, I would like a goal. An away victory now would be fantastic. But I don't want you to go crazy looking for a goal that may not be there. Just keep working hard. I know it's tough out there, but hang in. You got to want it, remember that. Now, I don't think I'm going to make any changes this half, unless someone gets too tired or hurt. Any thoughts? Okay. Well, I guess the message is to keep at it. We're happy if you're happy. Right. Good. Costa, a quick word?"

"Coach?"

"You're doing well buddy, I just want to make sure your feeling okay. I think since we've rested George your game hasn't been quite there, you agree?"

"I guess so coach. It's just a bit weird not having him there. I didn't really think about it when he was playing, but now he's not.... It's just a connection that's not there."

"Okay son. Well keep working hard. It will only be this game and the next -- then he'll be back. The team isn't the same without both of you.. Oh and remember not to get too down. This is your other brothers first cap remember."

"I know coach. I'll keep working hard."

On the field again and the slugfest resumed. The referee had yet to go to his pocket in the first half, but it appeared the second half could be a different story. Early in the half when Peisandros captain Urias Halkias slid in with a late tackle on Dona Rosa, the referee gave a final warning to both teams -- any more and it will go to cards.

The threat appeared to work for the next fifteen or so minutes as each team calmed down. No chances came in this period though as midfielders were too cautious and strikers kept getting in to offside positions. However in the 68th minute the game changed. It started with what seemed a standard challenge for a high ball -- Toquinho the dwarf and Sandrian Zarek Chatzi. Chatzi appeared not to see the smaller player and there was a heavy clash. Toquinho took offence and gave Chatzi a solid punch in the thigh. The referee appeared ready to give Toquinho a red card, but insted turned and gave it to Chatzi. As the Terreiro de Ogum fans cheered, Zarek stood there stunned.

"The little fucker punched me! Why am I being sent off?"

"Leading with an elbow when you challenged for the ball."

"Thats bullsh"

"ENOUGH! You, out."

"Fucker."

As Chatzi trudged off the park to the cheers of the crowd, Toquinho was booked for his retaliation, but it was little consolation to the Sandrians who would have to play atleast 22minutes with ten men. Straight away the loss of the midfielder took its toll with Peisandros understandably looking shaky. Costa Theotokis was forced to drop back to accommodate for it and with that the chances of Peisandros scoring a goal looked unlikely.

Another important moment in the game, which could have descended it in to chaos, came in the 84th minute. With Terreiro de Ogum pressing forward, there was another heavy challenge, this time between the Peisandros keeper Theotokis and midfielder Tramóia. Theotokis appeared to have a through ball well covered until Tramóia came flying through. They slid at the same time and both collected each other with heavy shots. The Sandrians all went up in protest of what they saw as a blatant foul on their keeper. On the other hand, the Terreiro de Ogum players were screaming for a penalty. On this occasion the referee decided to go with the keeper and booked Tramóia -- it could easily have gone the other way though.

Lucky the players managed to keep their heads and after the Peisandros defence held strong, the game came to a close. A tough game for both teams and somewhat surprising that there were no serious injuries. Coach Pappas said in a brief post-match statement that he will name his replacement for Chatzi after a meeting with senior players later tonight.

Game Summary

Peisandros 0 - 0 Terreiro de Ogum

Yellow cards:
Peisandros 0 - 2 Terreiro de Ogum (Toquinho 68', Tramóia 84')

Red cards:
Peisandros 1 (Chatzi 68') - 0 Terreiro de Ogum

Woodstock Daily Mail

B. Wilson suspended for comments

By Travis West
Daily Mail Staff Writer

The Incorporated Football Federation suspended Sarzonia national team manager Brian Wilson for its home match against unranked O Ale Ale based on what IFF chairman and Brian's father Dave Wilson called "inappropriate and vulgar comments" after Sarzonia drew Taeshan away 1:1.

"We have taken the action of suspending manager Brian Wilson for the next match against O Ale Ale due to inappropriate and vulgar comments that were detrimental to the Sarzonian football programme," Dave Wilson. "The manager of the national team is expected to set a standard of behaviour for his team. Brian's conduct was unacceptable."

Assistant manager Chris Trautwig will serve as the acting manager for the match while Brian Wilson is suspended, Dave Wilson said. He pointed to Trautwig's experience as an assistant for the Sarzonian national team in the past.

"Chris will know what to do," Dave Wilson said. "He will do his best to ensure that the team plays to its potential."

Dave Wilson said the fact that Brian Wilson is his son had "absolutely nothing" to do with the suspension.

"Had [former national team coach] Brett Hancock made those comments, I would have suspended him. Had I made those comments, I would expect [former IFF chairman Terry Mangione] to suspend me. If his being my son had anything to do with it, I probably would have suspended him for three matches."

If Brian Wilson were suspended for three matches as Dave Wilson suggested, he would have been forced to miss an away match to Liventia and a home match against No. 1 Valanora. However, Dave Wilson said the opponent meant nothing.

"I don't care if we were facing Valanora in a must-win match to advance to the Finals," Dave Wilson said. "I would do it on the eve of the World Cup Final if we made it that far. Fair is fair, and rules are rules."

"I apologise to the Cassadaiguan football federation and to anyone I offended with my comments," Brian Wilson said in a statement released by the IFF. "I allowed my anger and my emotions to get the better of me after what I considered an unjustified red card."

The team said Brian Wilson's situation would not be a distraction as it prepares for O Ale Ale.

"We've got a job to do. That doesn't changes whether it's Brian Wilson or Chris Trautwig calling the shots," said forward Matt Lynch. "We'll just keep doing what the manager asks, regardless of who that manager is."

However, forward Zack Wilson, son of Brian Wilson, said he hoped his father learned his lesson.

"We need to be able to concentrate on football and not on extraneous matters," Zack Wilson said. "That's the truth no matter who it is."

An Idanno defender was attempting a clear the ball as Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas ran onto to try score, but ended up cleaning Marie's knee. Marie fell over and tried get up but fell over again in pain. The referee handed the Idanno defender a foul but not a yellow card and told Marie get up and stop acting. Marie was still lying on the ground with bloody knee and howling from the pain. It was the last thing Jeruselem needed at the end of the game, with people carrying Marie off the field.

The referee had been rather lenient on rough play all game with a desperate Idanno fighting to keep a clean sheet. They found it hard to score with opponent throwing everything into defense playing for a draw rather than a win. The referee seemed to have decided to actively avoid handing out cards and allow the game to flow without interruptions but this suited Idanno more than Jeruselem who liked time to plot set plays.

The gamed ended NIL ALL although Jeruselem did hit the back of net three times but were denied to percieved "off sides". Joanne Sloan had go off the field with a broken toe after an opposition player accidently crushed it. It wasn't a game the Princesses wanted to repeat.

Dr Sally Dallas, the team doctor said about Marie's knee
"I'm afraid she's out for the next game as precaution. She wants to play but I'm not letting her play because we need time for it to just get better. Knowing how fragile Dallas knees are as her mother Dazza had trouble with knees too. Joanne's not playing next game either. The injuries aren't that bad but we can't risk more damage as it is. Marie's on painkillers at the moment. I wouldn't let her near the referee either at the moment. He'll find foreign objects inserted where they aren't supposed to be."

Lara Bingle who had her first game today due to the injuries said
"I was excited to play but seeing Joanne and Marie come off injured wasn't the way I wanted to come on. I mean, Marie is 100 times better than me. She should be playing, I'm not that good. Means the next game is really important one and the coach said I'm playing because of the injuries. I'm going to put in a big effort and hope we can win well. We can't afford to lose a big player like the vice captain Marie!"

Jacinta Sallad was named Vice Captain in the absense of Marie putting the two Sallad sisters in charge of the team.

Coach Ryan Greenly was very unhappy with the game
"I know the Idanno didn't intend to harm anyone today but losing two players like that was unacceptable. I like a bit of order in football game but it' hard to accept a game where basically the referee didn't card anyone for rough play. There's rules to be enforced and today, there didn't seem to be any rules apart from the off side one. I now have depleted midfield, and Jeruselem's game depends a solid midfield. Let's hope new kids like Lara Bingle can stand up for themselves but I don't expect any of them to become a replacement for Marie anytime soon."

Dancougar News!!
Mysteriously, I fully expected the Buckeyes to choke.

They got game - promising debuts against St Samuel: For several years, now, there have been several stalwarts in the Dancougar lineup. Players like Shishio Jinguuji, Yuji Watanabe, and Lyle Dylandy have taken the team almost as far as you can go in a World Cup cycle. Last night, though, none of them were in the lineup, as Solomon Bilbao gave several domestic-based players a chance to shine in front of the Yuki City faithful. The fans were rewarded with a 3-1 victory over St Samuel that showed that the Wings have a stable talent base and a gameplan that's led to consistent results. Four games in qualifying, four wins, three goals in each game. You can't ask for much more than that.

The buzz before the game was just as much about who Bilbao had chosen to put on the pitch as it was about who was off it. Watanabe, who has been the senior team's only goalkeeper since World Cup 40, was scratched for the first time since that tournament. Luke Brengle of Eastport got the nod for his first cap, and joining him in the defense was teammate Don Samrov. The pair have been crucial to Eastport's return to international club football, guiding them into the Globe Cup with a fifth-place finish last season. Milan van der Horst, a former starter, was brought on to provide some leadership at the back. Akira Morisue made his first national team start in the midfield; the Lakeport man figures to be a big part of that team's attempt to crack the top six along with recent Newmanistan purchase Scott LaFave.

They went up against a St Samuel side that was in the midst of a difficult road stretch. They had just come from Qazox where they were thumped 3-0, and their defensive plans weren't a mystery to anyone. But early on, they worked. At first, Dancougar's proven stars carried the load. Kevin Underwood, who still started as team captain, played Dan Potts through in the 9th minute only to see the ball poked away by Tyrone Rock before he could pull the trigger. In the 15th, Kazuki Midorikawa tried to blast one through traffic that Niclas Corinthian was able to parry wide. It was one of only three saves he needed to make in the first half hour. Meanwhile, the St Samuel offense looked to spring a lightning counterattack. They're Italians, what else would you expect?

First blood would fall to the Wings, though. Ed Klingensmith, also making his debut in the midfield, found Port Royal teammate Dan Potts in the 32nd minute, and Potts simply outran everyone to the ball. The Wings caught St Samuel playing the offside trap too high, and Potts was gifted a run at Corinthian which he duly converted into a 1-0 lead. As if on cue, St Samuel got their rush. Just two minutes later, Aaron De Villion took advantage of a mistake by Morisue to go on a run, and he fired a pass into the middle. Enzo Mazzeranni let it go straight through to Sebastien Atalanta, who cut inside to get past Stanley Carter and then fired the first shot Brengle had to face that afternoon. It took a nasty bend to his right and Brengle was beaten. As quickly as it had been 1-0, it was 1-1.

The crowd grew a little quieter, but Bilbao knew that it was exactly what the team needed. They'd been sloppy in the first half and weren't putting as much pressure on the visitors that they could have. With so many first-timers, he'd expected that. And the sudden change in momentum, and the fierce challenge of an opponent... that's what he wanted them to experience. They responded. Samrov clamped down on Atalanta and the team started to shuffle the ball around the midfield. They made sure they were comfortable in possession before going forward. And when Klingensmith earned a free kick, he yielded to the more experienced Kevin Underwood, who blasted it under the wall. Corinthian was screened and didn't dive until it was too late. The Wings went into halftime 2-1 up.

Both teams knew the next goal was crucial, and it would fall to Dancougar. A word, now, on the other starting forward. Karen Stadler was in high school when Jennifer Sloan first came to Shuukyuu Kishin, the D-League team Stadler rooted for from its inception. Sloan's knack for scoring goals and her modesty despite being from Jeruselem made her a role model for athletic girls all over the country at a time when none could be found on college rosters. Stadler was one of them, and after impressive showings in Kishin-area amateur leagues, she played for four years at Kishin Academy. She stayed in the capital when King's Eleven chose her in the second round of the D-League Super Draft and was pegged as the person who would turn the team's fortunes around. Finally, in the stadium that her club and national teams both call home, she announced her arrival to the world with a 61st-minute strike that Corinthian could only watch.

St Samuel were never able to generate much offense, but throughout the last half hour, their direct ball approach did generate a few chances. But Brengle had finally gotten into the game and was able to turn each one aside. He faced four shots in the match and only saved three of them, but that was more than enough for him and the team. The Wings remained undefeated and matched the pace set by Qazox.

Group six day in review: Kelssek lost their second home game in a row, and once again it wasn't even close. They welcomed Qazox and were shut down to the tune of 4-1. Grandborough FC's Wesley Teahen had a rough start but cooled down after a talking to from new coach Fernando Tuek, who has the team purring through the administrative change. Also chalk up another goal for FC Takano's Raul de Olivares.

Other than that, it was a day for the downtrodden of group six. Akbarabad earned their first win of qualifying, 1-0 over Colbourne, to jump into fifth. But the biggest shock of the day came in Operata, where Rennidan found themselves on the wrong end of a 5-3 shootout. It was a sensational upset for a team which, going into the game, had three losses from three and only a single goal to their credit!

Bilbao announces lineup for matchday five: It will be more of the same from Solomon Bilbao as the team travels to Akbarabad for a matchday five clash. Dancougar will want the win to maintain their six-point cushion over Kelssek and Rennidan, but Akbarabad just picked up their first win at home and their fans will be eager for a second. On paper, the Wings are the only winners. But after seeing what Operata did against Rennidan, Bilbao will surely keep his foot on the gas in practice.

This time, only a single foreign-based player will make an appearance, as Benjamin Whittaker will come in from the Han in order to anchor the midfield. Bilbao, though, looks to be keen on developing the leadership ability of Alexei Voronzoff, who has played solid football since having an off-day in Tundra Falls. Bilbao goes back to the 3-5-2 with Al McNespy, Sporting Kildare's replacement for Lyle Dylandy when the latter went to Cafundeu, playing on the wing opposite Voronzoff, and defender Joseph Cecilia earns his first cap since being a college all-star in Oxen Cup VII.

STARTING XI: Brengle; Cecilia, Carter, Samrov; Voronzoff, Landro, Whittaker, Hayashi, McNespy; Dinsmoor, Stadler
SUBSTITUTES: Silberstein; Raikatuji, van der Horst; Morisue, Klingensmith; Potts, Garbett

"We're Second on the table! Yes! SUCKED IN WENTLAND!!!" A random Bazalonian fan was in the WC43 Replica kit.

"Yeah, I can't believe it... we lost to them and they drew with the Camels and the Koselis What idiots."

"That say alot about letting your gaurd down though for some teams... Good thing the Bazalopes thrashed the Camels 5-0. in the first game."

"Hm... Hey by the way, have you heard anything about a new kit for this cup?"

"no, nothing apart from JMC are still doing it, oh and the 'lopes are in discussions with a new sponsor too. Mum heard it on BazFM back home."

"Who's it going to be?"

"Dunno it's apparently going to be a surprise, though it's crap if I was in the BFSA I wouldn't keep it a secret. You know what happened with their 'secret' hypnokits."

"haha- Yeah, that thing was absolutely horrible. Surprised no one died when they saw that monstrosity. hahaha"

"So, Anyway...."

"so, Anyway... What?!"

"I dunno, Just thought I should say anyway, that's all."

"... Let's just go shall we we've got 3 hours before our flight home and we've still got to fix up our hotel, pack and get to the airport."

"Bah!"

...

Andrew Coulter President of the BFSA had been incredibly busy in recent days, havin secret telephone discussions with the new Sponsor catching up with JMC on the kit, making sure that things were going underway as planned and having to deal with a new annoyance. He had received a letter from a group of Bazalonian citizens calling themselves The SFB League. They had written a letter, which had been accompanied by a petition, for the BFSA to change it's name to the Soccer Federation of Bazalonia. They claimed that the BFSA was an outdated name that had no revelance any more on soccer in Bazalonia as The Bazalonia A, B and C Leagues were the national Soccer League and the 'associations' which originally made up the BFSA had merged into a single entity... the SFB.

Jeru FC's Kaye Rocoossk was talking to James Dallas ...

James: It's pay day today.
Kaye: I won't get anything.
James: You don't get paid?
Kaye: No, I do but as soon as it hits my bank account - my parents take it.

James: Don't they leave anything for you?
Kaye: No
James: Eh?
Kaye: They don't have a job, I'm supporting the family.

James: You get nothing then?
Kaye: Yes, zip! They even search my room for stashed money.
James: That's mean Kaye, that's not fair on you.
Kaye: Yes, when I'm a adult. They are going find out I'll be enforcing my rights as an adult.

James: Explains why you don't go shopping.
Kaye: I don't have money to shop.
James: No nightclubbing either then?
Kaye: No social life, not even a Wii or laptop.

James: I'd like to help but saving every Shekel too.
Kaye: I don't ask for charity, I just want my fair cut of my wages.
James: Can the coach help?
Kaye: Not really.

James: What happens when you have kids?
Kaye: Well, I can't afford kids. Parents said they don't want to help me out there.
James: Don't they like you?
Kaye: I don't think so. They wanted a boy, but got me instead.

James: Poor Kaye
Kaye: I think they are going sell me in forced marriage now.
James: Can't they get job?
Kaye: Them? They've had jobs but got sacked for being lazy. So, I have to work not them.

James: No way out then?
Kaye: Well, get me pregnant and marry me then.
James: I'm not going that far. I have a girlfriend anyway.
Kaye: I'm trapped.

Dinkie: Hi guys, what's Kaye whinging about?
James: Her financial situation.
Dinkie: Oh yes, her horrible parents ... pity you're not Jewish, then we could help.
Kaye: There's definitely no Hebrew in my family, useless with money they are.

James: I'm sure you'll find a way. You're not stupid.
Dinkie: Have you graduated at all?
Kaye: No, forced leave school early and join the army.
James: I reckon you're smarter than you look.

Kaye: I need go find a rich guy to marry.

There was celebrating in the locker room, but in an unusual twist, Cameron Pollens was silent. He still remembered the meeting after the last game, the coach was going to make some changes to the starting line-up.

Coach Dastrin walked into the room smiling, but he was looking at the ground, and holding a list that he normally wouldn't be holding.

"Listen up everyone!" Coach Dastrin yelled above the noise. The room quieted a little, and more people noticed that the coach was looking down. "You played a great game out there, one that will go down in the history books. But I'm afraid that our first win isn't the only thing that we will be remembering today.

"I said that we were going to make some changes to the starting line-up, and I still see reason to do that. Everyone's performance went up today, but some of you still aren't giving 100% and will be replaced. If you keep coming to practice and I see an improvement, you might get your position back.

"First, one of you has made some valuable plays, but the secondary has done almost as much. Zachary Dane will be replaced by Walter Smith."

Zachary swore and threw his bag on the ground. He stormed out of the room as he yelled, "I'm going to talk with the media about this! You'll be sorry!" He continued yelling as he went down the hall, still in uniform.

Sean continued on the same as before, "Second on my list, Andrew Davidson will be replaced by Benjamin Johnson. Andrew has made some blocks, but no world class blocks. I do not see any harm in putting in Johnson as he has proven himself many times over with the Yessemity Warriors."

Everyone looked at Andrew to see how he would react. He looked at the ground and nodded his head. He simply said, "I understand Coach."

Sean continued, "Finally, I want to replace Jeremy Wright with Lawrence Daniels. Wright has not made himself open nearly as much as he should. I would like to let Daniels wet his feet in the Cup as he so far has had little experience so far."

"No one ever passes me the ball!" Lawrence yelled.

"That is because you never make yourself open."

"I'm going to report against you with Zach! I'm out of here! I always knew that you were incompetent! Your wins are just luck!" And he continued down the hall much as Dane did.

Cameron looked at the ground. He still remembered the coaches reprimand from the last time, he expected the coach to suddenly include him in.

"And that is it, don't let your guard down. I'm not satisfied with a win unless it is deserved. Great game everyone!"

Cameron looked up. "I thought you hated me," Cameron said to the coach.

"I don't hate any of you, this is a professional organization. I was hard on you because you are a natural leader. I expect great things from you, and today, I saw great things. Go home, relax a little. We have a victory, so no extra practice."

There was some cheering from the players at the mention of no extra practice. There was still some sorrow over the two lost players, but that was the way it had to be. No one wanted to lose their position now.

Dancougar News!!
Mysteriously, I fully expected the Buckeyes to choke.

Group six day in review: ... from new coach Fernando Turek...

(ooc: He's not a NEW coach, really; Turek priviously Coached Qazox into World Cups 33 to World Cup 36...)

World Cup 44 Qualification - Group 2
MD1: 2-0 vs [42] West Zirconia (@ Munhwa Football Stadium - 65,000, Hanseong)
MD2: 0-2 @ [???] Sarzonia (@ Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium - 88,920, Woodstock)
MD3: 5-0 vs [76] Dariusville (@ Potala Palace - 34,000, Lasa)
MD4: 2-0 @ [54] Liventia (@ Colonial Stadium, Orean)
MD5: vs [1] Valanora (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium - 200,000, Hangyeong)
MD6: @ [34] Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colosseum - 599,000, Atlantea)
MD7: vs [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium - 80,000, Gwangju)
MQ: ---
MD8: @ [42] West Zirconia (@ Manchester Street - 85,000, Moorcroft)
MD9: vs [???] Sarzonia (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium - 50,000, Daebo)
MD10: @ [76] Dariusville (@ Humphra Ignhorium - 2,000, some forest in Dariusville)
MD11: vs [54] Liventia (@ Silk Road Stadium - 56,000, Seoan)
MD12: @ [1] Valanora (@ Hatire Memorial - 60,000, Capri)
MD13: vs [34] Taeshan (@ Tae-majt Park - 69,000, Pyeongyang)
MD14: @ [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ hopefully not in a beer bottle)



MBC World Cup Special Report
http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t156/daehanjeiguk/news.png

Comfortable Win Ahead of Vanorian Contest

OREAN - The Han added another win to their WC44Q run, and it looks like we're going to be facing another loss - this time at home to the top-ranked Vanorians. Why? Besides the experience factor, there's the 1-1 draw that the Vanorian side pulled against West Zirconia, at home. Yeah, that's probably made them a little upset (not as upset as the home fans were here after that 2-0 drubbing from a youthful Sarzonia). But honor and stuff aside, a win against the Vanorians, considering their present form is a statistical challenge. When's the last time they actually lost in one season? That's right; they haven't lost a single match since WC41. So whether or not the Han come back home to the capital for a relaxing vacation from international duties or spend every second in training, Ioshido will face a real test, to see if his World Cup contention is really worth it all. And to be honest, I think fans all around the world will forgive him for losing to Sarzonia away if he can truly pull off a monumental win - not draw - against Valanora. Yes, a win and only a win. Besides the precious three points (and a two-point lead) that we would gain, there's a little honor to be taken from a win over Valanora. The last time that Valanora tasted the bitter seeds of defeat was an energetic 4-3 extra time match to Starblaydia in World Cup 41 (in Ad'ihan, lamentably); and in the interim have racked up an impressive 90% record in their past 30 WCC matches (27 wins, 3 draws since the WC41 Semifinal loss). I'm not much on ceremony, but a win would go a looooong way to shattering something of a really long and storied tradition for the Vanorian side; also something to restore a little honor after that WC42 Quarterfinal drubbing to the Vanorians in Cafundeu.

But let's put all of that aside for the moment. Realistically, this team is not in its top form. Granted, Valanora showed some weakness against West Zirconia, but as one of the testaments of their football regime, mistakes are ill-tolerated and punishingly resolved for their next match (history shows that Valanora comes back with a vengeance after their "unfortunate" results). So the real challenge is to avoid losing - badly. Avoid losing if at all possible, but avoid conceding too many goals. Kim Jongguk has been doing a good job (minus Sarzonia...), racking up 3 clean sheets in this season so far. But the goalkeeper can only do so much to keep the ball out of the net; his defenders will need to be extra sharp against a determined and poignant offense that's scored as proficiently as the Han have (minus Sarzonia...). Kim Daeeui - whatever good fortune he hides in his old boots - needs to be on top form, if only so the younger players can have the opportunity to get the shots needed to penetrate an otherwise miserly defense.

So what does that mean for the home crowd at Hangyeong? Three points of advice: (1) Sit behind the Vanorian goalpost; (2) Sit behind the Han goalpost; (3) SHOUT THE %$# %$#^ AS LOUD AS YOU CAN! Actually, make that four: (4) Weat protective gear. You don't want to end like those two guys who nearly died because of those trees...

Anyway, about that game in Liventia, it was a cautious Ioshido taking charge. The game was far too defensive for the tastes of fans who had just seen the Dariusvile encounter at 3,000 meters elevation. But I think Ioshido is showing some wits here. For the first time, he didn't start Kim Daeeui, opting for Kim Mihyeon (fresh from her own 'winning' encounter) and Pak Gyuseon. Notably, Kim Mihyeon got her first international goal ever (at least, the records say so) in the 22nd minute. It was a brief moment of brilliant tactical display, offered by other younger players - An Pilrip, Pak Yongho, and An Yeonghak. The triad - incidentally playing on rival teams in the IFL (minus An Pilrip) - worked a network of kicks that saw some brilliance from strongman Song Jongguk, who finished the display with a neat pass up to Pak Gyuseon. It was an awful choice, but the goalkeeper Bell rushed Pak out - a worse choice; Pak simply tucked a pass past to Kim Mihyeon, who shot into an empty net. The Liventian side appealed for an offside, but the videotapes showed that she clearly behind the defender (who oddly ran in the other direction, perhaps to stop An Yeonghak from getting the back pass). Anyway, 1-0 at 22 minutes, and 1-0 at half.

Maybe Ioshido is listening to the fans, who want younger blood; maybe he's trying out some fresh legs against a team that was so far (and remains) at the bottom of the Group tables; perhaps he was just having a mental lapse and forgot that he likes the old players; maybe they were just tired. Jeong Yakyong - another relatively budding player at the Cafundelense side Rio Bonito - found his entrance at the second half, as Ioshido continued with his theme of newer players and better defense. Indeed, win your home matches; hold on to your aways (unlike in Sarzonia... that dreaded place...). Anyway, with the lead at the half, Ioshido was content to hold on to a 1-0 lead, and pressed for possession and tactical finesse over brute force. Unfortunately, one of the bad things about youngsters is that they don't always listen to you... and kids will be kids. The midfielders played around, and Liventian striker Scott stole away with a clear and beautiful shot on goal, spoiled by the attentive Kim Jongguk. That brief spell at around the 55 minute marker awaken the defense (and nearly cost that slender 1-0 lead); thankfully, Kim Jongguk was not having a Sarzonia moment.

It was obvious after that that Ioshido was not going to be comfortable with just a 1-0 lead, and subbed Jeong Jihun for Pak Gyuseon at the hour mark. Instantly, Jeong Jihun made his impact upon the field known; he might be older, but somehow (like Daeeui) he holds some edgy youthful in his plays. Moreover, that edgy youthfulness infected the others, and the team surged forward like a tidal wave upon the Liventian goalkeeper. Ah, that poor Bell - he was nearly kicked in the head by one of his own defenders in the ensuing frenzy - but the vigilant Bell held on to that ball. It was a heroic save. And then he plopped the ball right at Jeong's feet, and the ball soared 24 meters into the net. Hero to zero in four seconds; a record for a goalkeeper, I'd imagine. Maybe that defender did kick him in the head... Whatever the case, the Han were up 2-0 at 63 minutes, and they managed to play the rest of game without incident. Now, if they can repeat their tactical strength with their brash youthfulness, the Han may be out to challenge the Vanorians. Of course, history often proves that we're most vulnerable after accomplishing the impossible; maybe we'll survive this skirmish with a small loss rather than a big one.


=== === ===

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

It happened literally in a blur. Kim Shinyok was busily manning the lonely keep up at the center of the field, holding the line for an expectant lob that would get him clear on goal. The problem was that #10 was basically hoarding the ball. Apparently, the jerk was looking to hold onto the ball for his hat-trick (and one could only guess how many of those he had gotten in his career). But the defense was holding up admirably to his terrorizing antics; Kim only wished that he could be at the forefront of the action (that is, helping him teammates rather than wait for them to help him). But the tactics required one man stand at the "top" in the event of a break-out, counter-attacking football at its finest. And in the game, there were fewer finer than Kim. For him, dribbling the ball was his ultimate passion; shooting the ball was only the cherry on top. And thus far, he hadn't even had the opportunity to dribble the ball that far. If it wasn't some crony breathing up his ass, it was two of them. Maybe all of this standing at the top wasn't working; tactics needed to change.

Tactics need to change, yeah right. The last time he changed the tactics, Kim got a nasty yell from Pak. Of course, the team were down three goals to nil; if Pak yelled at him, he'd have to yell at himself. But what if the tactics change meant that the game ended 4-0? What if the game ended 4-3? Kim thought the scenarios over in his head...

"Oh %$#^ it..."

He watched the Pearls play up in midfield, and as soon as the nearest player with the ball came close, he rushed at top speed. Before anyone else on his team had time to say anything, Kim had the ball and Shin Hongdo was wondering what to do with the ball. "Yim!!! Yim!!!" Kim yelled, running back up the field. Yim, hearing his name being called (to great humor, there was a person named Yim on the opposing side; he looked away from the field), looked up at Kim, only noticing that he now had the ball soon thereafter. A rush - and the field of blue came up the line. Kim was leading it from the front, struggling now to stay wide open. Yim was running up, and up. Kim was tired of all of this cover and ran back a few paces, throwing off his defensive cover. Yim made the pass, and now Kim had the ball, but now he had the defenders between him and the goal, and behind them the looming goalkeeper.

Kim had no shot on goal, and nearly every other attempt fell at the goalkeeper's hands, off the post, or outside the net. He had little option but to pass back to Yim and try again. He ran up near Wang Suncheol, hoping that two players would confuse the defenders. Shin Hongdo came running up the middle to fill the void in the center space, giving Yim an open option. Now Shin had the ball, but #10 was rushing back to help out on defense. With no time, Wang passed the ball to Kim. A brief moment of inspiration filled his head; he passed back to Yim and held his spot. Seeing that Yim had the ball, and that now #10 was chasing Yim, Kim pointed to goal (directing it all at Yim, of course... unless you really think he was just pointing for fun) and dashed forward. Yim did not need to ask twice what Kim really meant. They were going for goal, and Yim made the delivery.

Those precious 8 seconds passed like an eternity. Kim was hardly past the line of defender, but he knew that they would all be out of position in a few moments. Wang Suncheol had no idea where the ball was heading (or maybe if the ball was heading), and his rush to the middle with Shin was a perfect distraction to the defenders who watched the ball come up. Two seconds past, and by then it was evident that the ball was not going to land where the defenders had huddled, and that Kim was in the fortuitous position. He leaped up to reach the ball in the air, heading the ball goal-ward. The goalkeeper - unlike his defenders - had watched the ball carefully and knew that Kim would meet the ball, and like before stood ready to get at the ball when it came. Unfortunately, Kim hit the ball a little awkwardly, maybe because he was still in motion, but the ball did not go goal-ward, but instead curved out and headed around the goal. The goalkeeper immediately knew where this ball was going, and reached to try to stop it. Too far! Beat the keeper! The ball fell to the ground, curving. Kim was on his back watching the ball fall. It fell behind the goalkeeper's silhouette and soon thereafter he heard the thus of the goalpost.

He breathed in.

...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!!

Kim stood up off the ground, just seconds before he was swept away by his teammates. He could see for himself that the ball had hit the post at the ground and spun by some miracle of the laws of physics into the net along the edge. He was speechless. He quickly looked to the linesman too see if he was offsides, but the flag was down. The referee blew his whistle, and the crowd booed horrendously (thankfully, not any louder than the Thunder were cheering); it was a goal.

It started with Wang, and then Shin, and then Yim carried Kim back to their half in celebration. They were careful not to be too excessive, but who would stop them from celebrating? The referee was having a hard time himself trying to get the ball back from the goalkeeper, not to mention the crowd was jeering him with hostile names. Kim was swept away, he could hardly hold himself (thankfully, the others were holding him). And just as the team was getting into a festive mood, Pak had to break it all up.

"We're not done yet!" he barked, seemingly cold and heartless.

The team turned sober quickly.

"We've got twenty some minutes to get three more goals," he added. "I'm hoping Kim has a lot more in store for us, so we can go to the pubs tonight and celebrate. What do you say, Kim?"

"I'd reckon I have a few more shots up my sleeve."

Everyone familiar with Kim laughed. Pak gave a little smile (a little joy for the man who needed the win more than anyone) and patted Kim on the head. "Well, let's finish this with a win!"

Pruxton Globe

The withc doctors weren't in attendence today, and in a very shocking twist of weather, it snowed in Pruxton, in January! (ooc: Prux is a southern hemisphere nation, ie: New Zealand) The snow fall allowed the Iseerussiafrommyhouseian players to be more comfortable than the usual 80 degree weather that is the norm. The Zombies' bones, can we call them bones if they're dead, froze to their dead skin, leaving them moving like very retarded robots. Iseerussiafrommyhouse took full advantage scoring goals in the 17th and 23rd minutes to take a 2-0 lead.

Prux got its lone goal in the 77th minute, when Zombie Diego Maradona's hand fell off after being stuck to the ball on a throw in, and the Iseerussiafrommyhouseian keeper freaked out and the ball very slowly rolled into the net. The Iseerussiafrommyhouseian manager complained to the referee that it was a hand ball, but after consulting a rulebook, the referee, one Jason Vorhees from Taeshan, couldn't find any rule about a player's hand was stuck to the ball, so he had no choice but to allow the goal.

A trip to Brightonburg is next and now the Zombies are desparate for a win. Dr. Mkembe has convinced the hosts to have the match start at 11:00pm, as a full moon is expected in Brightonburg that night.


The schedule is this: (along with our Predictions for the Zombies)
Game 1: @ Yafor 2 LOST 0-2
Game 2: vs. Cafundeu LOST 1-2
Game 3: vs. Bears Armed WON 3-2
Game 4: vs. Iseerussiafrommyhouse LOST 1-2
Game 5: @ Brightonburg (Win 3-1)
Game 6: vs. The Blouman Empire (Draw 2-2)
Game 7: @ Myedvedeya (Draw 1-1)
Game 8: vs. Yafor 2 (Draw 1-1)
Game 9: @ Cafundeu (Loss 1-4)
Game 10: @ Bears Armed (Win 2-1)
Game 11: @ Iseerussiafrommyhouse (Win 4-2)
Game 12: vs. Brightonburg (Win 4-1)
Game 13: @ The Blouman Empire (Loss 1-2)
Game 14: vs. Myedvedeya (Win 2-1)

PREDICTED RECORD: 7-3-4 24pts 3rd in Group.
ACTUAL RECORD: 1-0-3 3pts; 7th in group.

The Zito Zip
Didn't win. Didn't lose.
1-1 Draw at home.
Tynelia played bad,
Wombats played worse.
Somehow, a draw happened.
Now a point gained,
that wasn't expected.
Team heads to alien nation,
Literally. Rymeria is an
out-of-this-world place!
So we don't know,
exactly where to go.
I hope there's no
anal probes.


Schedule:
MD1: Secristan D 1-1 (0-1-0)
MD2: Terreiro de Ogum W 1-0 (1-1-0)
MD3: @ Euro Federations L 1-2 (1-1-1)
MD4: Tynelia D 1-1 (1-2-1)
MD5: @ Rymeria
MD6: Peisandros
MD7: @ Lovisa
MD8: @ Secristan
MD9: @ Terreiro de Ogum
MD10: Euro Federations
MD11: @ Tynelia
MD12: Rymeria
MD13: @ Peisandros
MD14: Lovisa

Akbarabad break their duck

The Akbarabad national team finally won their first qualifying match, an unconvincing 1-0 affair at home to Colbourne. In a game with few chances for either side, Akbarabad got the only goal of the game shortly into the second half, rather fortously of the shin of opposing captain Jim Brennan during a corner. The hapless skipper was credited with the own goal.The team's next match is at home to second placed side Dancougar.

(ooc: He's not a NEW coach, really; Turek priviously Coached Qazox into World Cups 33 to World Cup 36...)

(OOC: Hmm, I bet you put that in your setup RPs somewhere. Retraction time is the best time of the day. An intern's about to get fired!)

Replacement named for Zarek Chatzi

There was a surprise announcement tonight, as coach Pappas named dubutant Adeipho Fotilas as cover for the red-carded Chatzi. Instead of using Paris Sisinis or Tobias Xanthis, Pappas opted to give Fotilas the start for the game being played in Olympia against unranked Euro Federations. Although being unranked, they are sitting in fifth position just two points behind the Sandrians and Pappas eluded to this when naming the change.

"For the style of football we want to play against Euro Federations, I think Fotilas will work better. It's absolutely not the case that we are taking this game lightly. They have been there or there abouts in their four games too. They are in a similar position as we are, so we know they are keen to win it. We know how important each and every game is and we really need to win our home games. We're going to try and press forward a bit more in this game and it's our last without George Theotokis. Sure, Fotilas hasn't played a game for his country yet, but he has scored many goals at club level -- we're hoping that he can reproduce it here."

THE ROCKET REPORT

ROCKETS RUIN HALLELUJAH

Putnam Lake, Newmanistan- After a disappointing loss in the Dreamed Realm, the Rockets found themselves looking at a game in which they absolutely could not afford to let slip away. Alex Ruined Hallelujah, a small nation located in Atlantian Oceania that is unranked, would be the opposition in Putnam Lake, and there simply would be no way that anything other then three points would be acceptable. Well, they got them, but one still has to wonder if Newmanistan has really played one great match yet from start to finish during qualifying.

The beginning was not pretty. The Rockets were clearly showing the effects of a hangover after returning from the Dreamed Realm. There seemed to be lapses in communication, and Brett Carlson seemed a little too eager to try and make plays happen by himself instead of passing the ball to teammates. This caused some dissention among the forwards as a couple times you could see Jeremy McAllister, Jenn Vilardi, or even Alex Parnett holding out their arms towards Carlson and ask him what he was doing. Also considerably off his game was Kyle Carrigan. Now we know that he really seemed to be bothered by something in the match against the Holy Empire, and that did not go away tonight. As the deliveryman on corners, this was tough to overcome as he simply did not get the job done, to the point where by halftime, coach Carson elected to have Dale Stevens assume that role instead. The ugly first half by the sky blue and white caused most of the crowd to get antsy in the stands. All the offsides whistles, the giveaways, and ill-advised passes and non-passes would have something that a better opponent would have been able to take advantage of and open up a big lead. Fortunately, Alex Ruined Hallelujah was not able to do this. They controlled possession and had some good opportunities, but with one exception, Chris Kusler was in good position to come up with a save, or the back end did a fantastic job in clearing their lines. The defense, as well as Kusler, did not seem to be experiencing the same kind of hangover. That one exception occurred in the 35th when a 20-yard strike by #8 that looked like it might sail over the bar got enough of a last second dip to sneak in under it and become the opening goal of the match. Now, the crowd was very upset. Sloppy play and a 1-nil deficit to this unranked opponent. The good news was that it was an unranked opponent, because had this been Milchama, Newmanistan is probably down 5 or 6-nil at this point.

At the intermission, Brian Carson lashed out to his team. There would be no excuse for the way that they played, and a loss here would very difficult to overcome and eventually qualify for the World Cup, as they already in enough of a hole as it is. The subject of a lot of his angst was Brett Carlson, who plays for him in Pocono City, and has for his entire career. If anyone knows Carlson, it’s his coach with the similar last name. Brett was not playing like himself at all, and the player that he was during the first half was not the kind of player he wanted out on the pitch, so he delivered the news. Brett, you’ll be sitting in the second half and Shawn Drummond will be out there. Hopefully, this benching could wake him up. Also not with it was Kyle Carrigan, and after a discussion with him, Carlson also elected to pull him from the starting lineup and declared that Brett Prescott would play the entire second half. Everyone else was put on notice, if they were not up to snuff, they would be the third substitution, and he would do it early.

When the substitutions were announced to the crowd, most applauded loudly as hopefully the changes would mean better play. Sometimes, this can be all it takes, and not to mention the return of Drummond and Prescott to play gives the Newmanistan lineup more of that old school type look. For both of them, this was an opportunity. Non-starters will always tell you that they need to take advantage of such opportunities when they present themselves, and here it would be. Especially for Shawn Drummond. But even Brett Prescott was excited to be out there for more then just 15 minutes or so and immediately he got to work doing what he does best, delivering hard and rough tackles. The passes got smarter, and the Rockets soon began to look like the team that they were expected to be. The chances were coming, and in the 53rd minute, the game would be tied up. After an ARH midfielder was hesitant to confront Brett Prescott after being leveled by him two minutes prior, Prescott was able to deliver an excellent pass into the penalty area to Putnam Lake’s own, Jeremy McAllister. J-Mac had only registered one shot on target in the match up to this point, but his second shot would be #96, as in the 96th goal of his international career. He badly wanted to get at least one in front of his home fans, and with it, there was a sense that the Rockets would pull this game out after all. ARH, though, did their best to hang in there to try and still get a point out of it. They switched to an ultra-defensive tactic, and did a good just frustrating the Rockets. As the clock went past the 75 minute mark, Carson brought in his third substitute of the match, and it would be Shannon Vilardi, replacing one of the defenders. Now with four forwards out there, including both of the Vilardi sisters, the Rockets got better chances. In the 80th minute, at long last, Newmanistan pulled in front on a goal by Jennifer Vilardi that would be assisted by her sister. It’s a rare thing that the two of them are able to combine a goal as they play for two completely different NPL teams, but they would here and it would be a big score. Shannon got a little excited and almost did a Kate Sallad impersonation, but at last second remembered that she should keep her shirt on. The remaining minutes passed by without much incident. ARH, having played so defensively for the entire second half was unable to effectively switch back into an offensive mode. No one will call this game pretty but it’s the result that Newmanistan wanted from the start: three points.

Here is some post-game reaction:

Carson: “Things weren’t right in the first half. I know Brett (Carlson) quite well, and he’s never a selfish player, but tonight it seemed as if he wanted to do a little too much. I am sure this was because he wanted to carry the team, but it wasn’t working out. He’s still young, we have to remember, and this may be a good lesson for him that you still must execute the fundamentals even if its an opponent you feel you should beat.”

Kusler: “The first half was very frustrating, and I could understand why the fans were getting on edge. In the back, we did a good job, though. For me it was special to be playing in Putnam Lake again in front of these fans. (Kusler, an Eagle since his rookie year has recently transferred to Port Royal of Dancougar).”

J Vilardi: “I always love playing with my sister. Coach made the right calls as things needed to be done and sometimes you cannot wait too long to make adjustments. I was just in the right place at the right time on the goal.”

Carlson: “Coach says I was trying to do too much. I’m just doing what I am put out there to do, which is score goals. So no, I don’t agree with his decision.”

McAllister: “The slow start could have been a product of us returning to reality after a stay in the Dreamed Realm, but that’s an excuse, not an explanation. We handed our opponent tonight a lot of opportunities to win this game, and we are fortunate that they only took advantage of one of them. We can’t afford to have this kind of opening against Nethertopia.”

Here is the final box score

NEWMANISTAN 2
McAllister (53') #96
J Vilardi (80')

A.R.H. 1
#8 (35')

A doctor, Dazza Dallas and Marie-Antoinette Dallas with Marie lying down on table so the doctor can check her knees

Dazza: Well?
Doctor: She'll be alright, it's slighted twisted and there's some inflammation but a bit of rest should get back to good state.
Marie: So ... what does that mean?
Doctor: Just don't do anything stressful for a while it gets a chance to heal.

Marie: You mean no football, tennis, Wii sport, bellydancing and other stuff.
Doctor: Yes, you can walk on it but don't go pushing too hard.
Dazza: I guess that's not too bad.
Marie: You and your dodgy knees Mum.

Doctor: Yes Marie, you've got that from your mother.
Marie: I suppose Mum isn't a perfect genetic specimen.
Dazza: If I was, I'd be cloning myself.
Doctor: You do a pretty good job using your children.

Dazza: So what's she supposed to do for exercise then.
Doctor: Light jogging and walking should fine. I'd avoid cycling as I know Marie has speeding problem.
Marie: That comes from Mum too.
Dazza: I'm not that bad!

Doctor: I dunno, there's a lot speed freaks in your family like Matilda.
Marie: Sitting around watching TV isn't my thing.
Dazza: I suppose you could sit around all day chatting to our fans on the web site.
Marie: Well, that's a lot better than watching TV.

Doctor: Whatever you do, just don't tear the knee any worse.
Marie: What about swimming?
Doctor: That's alright as long as it's slow swimming.
Dazza: This swimming business isn't from me.

Marie: I suppose I have it easily and not run around like maniac.
Doctor: There are few things that can help the healing but there's no miracle cure - let your body fix itself.
Dazza: My knees are alright these days, not bad for granny.
Marie: But you've stopped playing football, you don't have put up with people taking your feet from under you Mum.

Dazza: You remind of someone.
Doctor: Yourself?
Marie: I just don't want to be bored. I like running around for no reason.
Doctor: Nothing more to say really. Take it easy then get back into training..

Dazza: Pretty much what Sally said.
Marie: I'll look stupid limping around for a while.
Dazza: Been there, done that.
Doctor: The only thing she hasn't done, is have kids.

Marie: I'm working on that too.
Doctor: I'll be seeing you when that happens then. Your sister Kate and her new son had recent checkup lately.
Dazza: Ok, time to go! Bike has things to do!
Marie: Hey, don't laugh when I fall over.

(OOC: Hmm, I bet you put that in your setup RPs somewhere. Retraction time is the best time of the day. An intern's about to get fired!)
(ooc: It's in my 1st 'Game RP', And I apologize for these ooc's, hosts!)

A black column emerged from Mount Fujiko, swirling upward as lighting struck and fire leapt into the sky. Prince Daniel and the rest of the team immediately noticed the change and checked their mission timer. The transports were five minutes from landing and right in the middle of their final approach. Why did they have to attack now?! thought Daniel madly. They'll be sitting ducks!

"Beast machines, we're going in!" ordered Tetsuya. "We'll form Dancougar and cut them down before they even get here!" The four machines charged forward, leaving the Lancers at their defense line. "Kaguya control, recommend you scramble Angel team!" he radioed. The Mammoth was in position with the Liger and Cougar on the side. "LET'S COMBINE!! Form feet and legs!" The Mammoth folded open and its hoverjets fanned out into the legs. "Form arms and body!!" The Liger and Cougar leaped into the air and docked, the hands dropping down from the mouth of each unit as the cockpits were taken into the torso. "And I'll form the head!!" The Eagle snapped into place and the wings dropped down to create the chest plate. The entire mass moved in unison and came to rest in front of the oncoming enemy rush. "Four Beast Divine Combination... DANCOUGAR!!"

The formation of Gray Sisters was fanning out to present a wide front. "We don't have time to play around with these guys!" Joe yelled. "Tetsuya, take 'em out!"

"With pleasure!" The Dancougar's arms snapped into place in front of the chest plate, the hands open parallel to each other to form a sort of channel. "DANCOU~BURN!!" An energy blast fanned out from the plate, and the Dancougar swiveled to direct the blast into the whole line. Explosions rippled throughout the enemy ranks as demons fell from the sky in a burning hulk. "How's that?"

"There's still a lot of them left!" Jun said.

"We're just warming up, you guys!" Tetsuya shot back. "DANCOU~MISSILE!!" Small components all over the body opened up to reveal micromissile placements. It was basically just another method of unloading the payload of the Mammoth's Hurricane attack. The missiles took off and left a long, thick vapor trail in their wake. They split open to reveal even more micromissiles which burst outward in a final chaotic attack. More explosions. More dead demons. And still the cloud advanced.

"Just how many are there?" Jun asked. "We can't take them on alone!"

"The planes are landing in two minutes! We have to protect the base!" Tetsuya replied.

A trio of planes screamed overhead as Angel team sprang into action. "Fall back and recharge your burn," called Inoue. "We'll hold them off." Gunfire also ripped into the sky from behind them as the Lancer team advanced into attack position. Red blasts emerged from the cloud with the Angels nimbly dodged before firing back. The three of them converged on a point and transformed into robot mode, with all three back to back to back in a triangle. They laid down a full sphere of fire to create space around them. The demons attempted to overload that part of the formation to close the gap, but that rush was met with gunfire from the Lancers on the ground. They had waited for that chance. The Angels, in the meantime, had transformed back into fighter mode and accelerated free in three different directions.

Before the demons could redirect their attention, they were taken by another attack from the Dancougar. Its chest plate was glowing red from the two consecutive firings and steam rose as the residual energy heated the surrounding air. "We've almost got them!" Tetsuya exclaimed. "One last push!"

"Planes are on the ground!" Daniel reported. "We just need to hold them for ten more minutes, while they unload!"

"Don't get too comfortable guys... look!" Joe was calm, but he was clearly concerned. The team looked to the mountain and saw a huge blue mass descending down the slope. "We've confirmed Goliath 3!!"

Inside the VFA President's Chambers

An increasingly mavilous grin marked the face of the otherwise beautiful elven woman who sat behind the polished wooden desk. Not many elves inside the country could trully be said to have a dark side about, even less would acknowledge that dark side and use it to their advantage. Yet the newest President of the Valanora Footballing Association was one of those elves who had that dark side and manipulated it to whatever ends her whims wanted. She had always been able to rationalize her acts, evil and/or twisted as they were, to some goal that needed to be achieved. When she had poor Mathulius Isas fired because he had brought her some bad news on a day when she was in a foul mood, it was because he was timid and not a productive worker within the VFA. When Radrien Ithellethian was dismissed as the chief of security for the VFA building in favor of her sister, it was because Vadriana had earned the spot and Radrien was costing the Association too much money.

Her latest twisted act, the kidnapping and morphing of a Candelaria And Marquez official, was indeed once again being rationalized by her when she knew that the news would spread to those who would disagree with her actions. Of those, she knew that the Great Leader and her husband, that pesky Tobias Raynor, would cause the greatest amount of annoyance for her, with their politcal might. She was having to act fast and ruthlessly to turn the Raynor's allies into her own, with the propaganda and misinformation she was feeding them about the Raynor's activities of late. While it was true that the Raynors had enquired about a change in television rights for the EPL, it was for the benifit of all the clubs involved. However, Rodiel was making it out to the other nineteen president's that Tobias was trying to have United get a bigger share than their competitors, as a greater finicial edge than they already had over the rest of the league.

Her spinning of the tales in the e-mails was momentarly halted when the news ticker at the bottom of her screen ran the recent result of the Marauders' qualifying campaign. A shock one all draw at home against West Zirconia, a team that was clearly on the outside looking in on the qualifying picture. To make it even worse, the Marauders were going to have to travel to the Han Empire for their upcoming fixture, in a match that would go a long ways toward detirmining the pecking order of the group come the end of the qualifying stage. The last straw was the ongoing mentions of the Zirconian press that their was a romantic relationship between one of the VFA members with a member of the Zirconian FA.

"Those lowly people will not have the last word, nor the last laugh on this issue, or on this result. If it means using that dastardly Athminaion and his sources and strategies again, I will. Valanora is not a country to be taken lightly or mocked when someone does get a decent result. It would be such a shame if all of a sudden their entire squad got the flu before the reverse fixture. Or if their striker somehow came into an accident and broke his fibula and tore his ACL. Any number of other things that could happen on just any oridinary day in an oridinary country."

In the corner of her office her rubber tree swayed as if there was a breeze while a dark and hearty laugh erupted in her mind that unnerved the madam President. She suspected it was Athminaion, as the short male had a tendancy to be able to enter places he shouldn't have without detection. However, when the seat in front of her was knocked over without anything visable moving past the piece of furniture, a light when off in her head. One of the blasted templars had infiltrated her room, and likely was under the employment of Tobias. She quickly moved to shut off her computer and hide the letters she was writing to the Senators, accusing the Great Leader of further usurping their power. Coldly, the templar gave her a message that sent chills down the spine of her neck.

< We have been watching you Rodiel Isilivanthor, and we have tracked your every movement since taking this office. The Great Leader, and the entire Senate, do not let the biggest assest of the country, and our biggest symbol, simply run its' course without checks. You have tried to manipulate the country into believing that your actions are in the best interest of the country, and for the world. You are sadly mistaken. With your actions at the World Cup Qualifying draw, and subsequent actions taken by agents under your pay, you have been found guilty of treason. The punishment for a guilty verdict of treason is banishment to the Seven Hells, where you will undoubtedly be found by demons and killed. You have two days to get your affairs in order before the punishment is enacted. I pray you spend those hours well, and do not attempt to flee, we are everywhere. >

Demot Daily ~ What Is Greatness?

So, I ask you now, after the news that the nation's football team has been inducted in the World Cup Hall of Fame, are we great? It is true that we have had at least two, maybe three great players from our humble country, but is the nation, or the football team itself great? I suppose it is all really objective, as many different people have ideas of what greatness is itself. For the sake of the arguement, let us say that greatness is success on the football pitch that has not been achieved by the majority of other nations in the competition. If this is what we are going to consider to be greatness, then yes our football team has indeed been great, and is still great. The fact remains they are one of only a few select nations to have reached the Final of the World Cup on multiple occasions. They are also in select company with an undefeated qualifying record. Despite the fact that the nation has yet to win a title with both of this achievments, we are a great footballing nation, in this time.

We have many superlatives that describe feats and abilities that are above the norm, and there is a hierarchy in which these words are placed. I find that people often confuse the meanings behind these words or mix up the order of the hierarchy, placing one word above the other when it the other way around. Greatness is one of these cases, as many people equate greatness with legendary. This is simply not the case, as can be proven when comparing nation that participate in the World Cup. We have already established that Demot is a great footballing nation, that much we know. Yet when you look at the achievements of nations like: Starblaydia, Valanora, Bedistan, Ariddia, and Rejistania, those are legendary nations. They have accomplished feats that are not only not done by a majority of nations, they are rare even among those that are great nations.

Valanora for instance is one of only five nations to have ever defended the winning of a Championship by winning the following championship. They are also the only nation to have ever won three out of four championships, as well as having the record for the largest ever margin of victory. Bedistan and Rejistania and considered to be the best ever footballing nations as they co-lead the world with four titles each, while Starblaydia is tied with Valanora and Ariddia with three each. Ariddia also holds legendary status as being the founding nation of the entire competition. You can can go on for days about the amazing feats and exploits of these nations that make them legends, and you would only be proving my points.

So what does Demot have to do to elevate their status from great to legendary? Well the fact that they have not won a title despite playing in multiple Finals is a major detraction, as is never have holding the number one ranking in the World. On their present form, one of only a handful of nations still perfect four matches into the qualifying campaign, their qualification seems almost assured. To think that the number two rank side would finish outside of the top three in the group is a tad absurd, given how the results have been going up to this point, and the lack of major powers in the group to contend with. So then, the side must finally win a title, or two, as well as steal that number one ranking away from their former colony masters. Then, and only then, can the idea of obtaining legendary status being entertained, and justified.

Scorers
Julius Rotherwell - 3
Toni Flintus - 2
Jurian Mastaru - 1

Article by Dianna Parcitan

World Cup Qualifying Schedule
MD1: Greal VS Chutnusak (1-0)
MD2: Greal VS Idanno (2-3)
MD3: Greal VS Urna Eletrônica (3-1)
MD4: Greal VS Jaseuyeon (0-2)
MD5: Greal VS Draistania
MD6: Greal VS Jeruselem
MD7: Greal VS Starblaydia
MD8: Greal VS Chutnusak
MD9: Greal VS Idanno
MD10: Greal VS Urna Eletrônica
MD11: Greal VS Jaseuyeon
MD12: Greal VS Draistania
MD13: Greal VS Jeruselem
MD14: Greal VS Starblaydia

Greal VS Draistania Preview

Following the defeat by Jaseyyeon, Greal will undoubtedly be cautious in the upcoming game against Draistania. Draistania appears to have no ranking, so it is impossible to tell what will happen during the match. Captain Ross Trent has said in his daily interview that his team would be cautious, but will be on the lookout for any gaps or mistakes made by Draistania. Currently Starblaydia, Urna Electrônica, and Greal all have six points in the group stage. Greali soccer experts predict a shift today as the high ranked teams who have suffered some early setbacks will gain more wins.

Battered Chutnusak will play Jaseuyeon today.

Jeruselem will play equally battered Urna Eletrônica today.

Starblaydia will play Idanno.

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Joesph's Online Blog

Rats. I guess we are all mice when we play Jaseuyeon. We'll be playing Draistania today. Personally, I've never heard of this nation until today. It apparently has no ranking either, does that mean they suck? Watch the match today to find out! My prediction: Greal vs Draistania 2-1.

-----------------------------------------------------------

"I bet on a narrow win over Draistania."

"Ok, how much Roger?"

"Five hundred."

"Hopefully Greal will get a win, we're kinda tired of no qualifying for the last few cups."

"Me too."

"Jeffrey is betting three thousand dollars on a outright win."

"You're kidding."

"Nope, I never kid, remember?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot."

"How does that new bar sound?"

"Perfect place for a fight, sure."

OOC: Have got the player names from the CoH 35 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=14197936#post14197936) post, which was the same as the WC43 roster. For any needed changes, assume poor journalism and/or a need for spectacles.

Quenyaphobics Anonymous
Re-jigged Starblaydia get big result with few Elves

The team selected by Lex Panarii had an obvious nod to the scathing comments about his team from fans and media alike as he went to Vecchio with a side that was shorn of most of the Elvish 'talent' in the squad. Veteran goalie Caleb Westwood, for instance, replaced Taliquentar and promptly kept Starblaydia's first clean sheet in four matches, the last coming in the pre-qualifying friendly against Sarzonia when, you guessed it, Westwood was in goal.

Starblaydia's stikers, Di Bradini and Kaii'n, were firing on all cylinders as Starblaydia scored five goals in the match, though the inclusion of Fëanáro in midfield was notable. She pulled the strings of the assault excellently and generally made a complete fool of Enéas Carneiro, who was assigned to mark her, as well as substitute Neto who came on later in the game with the same job. Nowhere was Daeron Avathar to be seen on the pitch, nor - crucially - Valrauncion, who didn't even appear to be in the stadium. Soronúmë and Yantur Canion did make appearances on-pitch for Ricky England and Rashid Mus'haf respectively, with Romeo Oscar the other substitute.

Not even ten minutes had passed before Ázëwyn Fëanáro's intricate passing set up Kaii'n for the first goal, putting him into free space beyond the back four and free and easy to score past Guimarães. Lotar immediately ran to Fëanáro for a congratulatory hug, but whether that is because the side's spirit and teamwork is now very high, or because Lotar fancied a hug with arguably Starblaydia's most beautiful ever player, is something that has yet to be discovered, and only Lotar really knows. Whatever his intentions, however, Starblaydia were together at last in perfect racial harmony. Beardies, pointy-ears and humans alike.

It was the non-beardy beardy who played a key role in Starblaydia's doubling of their lead, as Saffi Mezhubontin's work down the left wing of passing play with Vegachenko put her into the penalty area. A simple cross later and the team Captain Diamontii Di Bradini had made it two. Starblaydia cruised from that point on, having to wait until past the hour mark for their third goal to really put the game beyond Urna Eletrônica's political ambitions.

Yuri Vegachenko got on the end of a Ricky England free kick to head home past Guimarães for three, which was shortly followed by Nei Samba from a Soronúmë corner, stabbing home after Canion's header was blocked on the goal line. Three Elves were on the pitch by this point and, despite initial concerns - and a small amount of protest booing - after Soronúmë had almost immediately replaced England after Vegachenko's strike, Starblaydia, if anything got better. Fresh legs and fresh tactics opened up the visitors on more than a few occasions, eventually leading to the first elven goal for Starblaydia by the substitute winger Soronúmë.

Using his obvious speed, Soronúmë ran for fifty yards to keep up with play as Vegachenko and Fëanáro worked their way quickly up the pitch with the ball. Vegachenko squared for Fëanáro, who looked to shoot but was aware of the winger coming up behind her, faster than a speeding train. Laying it off to her right, the onrushing Soronúmë blasted the ball straight into the back of the net. Not a single Starblaydi fan looked unhappy with the goalscorer and, perhaps, a little bit of damage has been repaired. Starblaydia will be looking for a similar performance, as well as a result, from their next home match against Idanno.

Final score from Victory Park. (46,682):
Starblaydia 5 - 0 Urna Eletrônica
(Kaii'n 7, D. Di Bradini 25, Vegachenko 62, Samba 68, Soronúmë 87) - (None)

Turkspor
Fan Violence: Passion or Racism?

A debate has been initiated by the Kosenic Police forces about the nature of the constant riots caused by football, with some claiming that it is blatant Xenophobia and Anti-Christian behavior. Whereas fans like Hakan Senturk say that it is the fans showing their love for the team. Showing love for the country is an often exploited loophole in the law where by claiming the other group had "Insulted" Turkishness they are seen as protecting the unity of the country. There have been calls for a larger police presence at the home games to deter the rioters, but police chiefs have argued that this may backfire. Policemen like Ayhan Vuruci say "If there is a larger police force at games it will give the rioters something to fight against and will only increase the likelihood of these already common events." He went on to say "This shows the need for stricter laws on who is allowed to attend public events, because the conflicts are usually caused by other nations taunting, and this causes offense the to Ultra-Nationalist fans who usually attend our games."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/700000/images/_704374_supporters300.jpg
Passion or Hatred?

Kevin Collins’ Mailbag

It’s time for another public look at my e-mail to see what is on the mind of Newmanistanian football fans:

“Has Di Bradini put a curse on us?” John, Loudon

Ever since a comment on the Pocono City Sports Report before the match with the Holy Empire, that got this thought in people’s heads, Newmanistanians have been running with it. John is just one of many people who have send me this question in some form. Simeone Di Bradini was never a vindictive man, and I would find it very hard to believe that he would have a reason to go to the extent of having a curse on us. I’d need to see more examples that could lead me to think that it could be true, and more then the “finals” curse.

“Will the spirits of Tundra Falls give the Holy Empire their own worst nightmare?” Kirsten, Tundra Falls

This is an interesting question. I would not be surprised to see a little role reversal here, or if nothing else, the Rockets experience their greatest dreams. When spiritual worlds collide, it’s hard to predict how that will go. The Proving Grounds is the perfect venue for this match and it will be very interesting to watch. And if anyone denies the existence of the Tundra Falls spirits, I want you to re-watch the recent friendly we had with Dancougar.

“You and others predicted Alex Parnett would break out this Cup. When is that going to start?” Smitty, North Charlotte

It needs to start immediately. I’m thinking he may be good against Nethertopia in the upcoming match. It’s not just that he has yet to score in the qualification effort, he is also not setting up the forwards as good as he needs to be.

“Brett Carlson seems to be in his own world. Should he benched for the Nethertopia game?” Jim, South Tier

Brett was terrible in the Alex Ruined Hallelujah match, and the fact that he was benched for the entire second half does indeed send a lot. Afterwards, his post game comments did not sit that well with me. Unfortunately, Brian Carson has to think about the Pocono City Capitals here. If he benches Carlson here, the last thing he wants is Brett using it as an excuse to play his way out of Pocono City. You think it’s easy to be a coach? This is a tough move to make. I say start him, but if he tries to be a one man team again, then he sits and Shawn Drummond enters.

“What’s wrong with Milchama?” Greg, Pocono City

They’ll be fine. Murphy’s Law says they wake up with a 5-0 victory over us. They aren’t the first top seed to get off to a slow start, but these teams always seem to find their way.

“Some little scrub country named East Pocono just did something Newmanistan has never done and got a point against the top seed in the group. Will Newmanistan ever do this? Milchama seems ripe for the beating.” Scott, Centralia

Like I told Greg, don’t get too excited here about Milchama seeming to be out of it. They will find their way, and like Az-cz in World Cup 42 qualifying, it will come in their first match against us. This kind of thing never fails. What you mention is probably the most frustrating thing about our qualification efforts, that 0-0-8 record against the top team of the group.

“When J-Mac gets #100, what kind of celebration should their be. Do you think the game should be delayed if it is at home?” Stephanie, Putnam Lake

Delaying the game? Absolutely not. The game will continue they way that it should. I predict that it will be the game winning goal in the critical home fixture against Septentrionia in Loudon. Either that, or I kind of like the story of it coming in Tundra Falls against the Holy Empire, but if he doesn’t have #100 by then, then this team is trouble. Especially when Brett Carlson is way off his game.

“How much is Brett Prescott missed for 90 minutes instead of just as a late game sub?” Jim, Dover City

He is missed a great deal, and I think a lot more then the team thought he would be. This is exemplified a lot when you look at Alex Parnett, he doesn’t have as much running room, because Prescott’s aggressiveness was really what was helping provide it.

And on that note, this comes to an end. Up soon is our match with Nethertopia, one in which we need to win.

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Quivering Quak Quashed
by Rami Niblick in Quakmybush

THE juggernaut just went up a gear. At last, Krytenia were playing a competitive game against a side the fans had actually heard of, and not only that, they got the three points, too! Quakmybush were the victims, and were flattered by the two-one scoreline in a game they never really got into.

Krytenia dominated the flow of the game throughout, with the midfield quartet of David Wolverton, Simon Bond, Jim Austin, and Gary Navarro orchestrating play supremely whilst barely breaking a sweat. One of the highlights of their dominance was the first goal, which saw them string twenty-two(!) passes together before Navarro slid the ball to the feet of Darren Scotland, who greedily slotted home. The second goal, early in the second half, wanot quite as spectacular, coming as it did from a corner, but it did give Jim Austin a chance to get on the scoresheet and net only his fifth goal for the Aces.

A Quakmybush consolation in the first minute of injury time was a lapse in an otherwise flawless performance, but Adam Toivonen will be pleased with another three points. The win puts them level with Vephrall atop the table, on ten points; the Men in Miece’s marginally superior goal difference, however, sees them into top spot.

Next up for the Aces are, to be fair, a bunch of students. Pomposity ahoy, it’s the Jevian national team, made up of the best athletic academics that Universitus University has to offer. Let’s hope they can get off their collective high horses long enough to play some football.

Actually, let’s not. It’ll be fun to, er, “teach them a lesson.”

Quakmybush - 1
Unnamed 90+1

Krytenia - 2
Scotland 29
Austin 48

FR1: A v NET - D 3-3 (Scotland, Smith, Bond)
FR2: H v SRZ - D 0-0
MD1: A v DCK - W 2-0 (Scotland 2)
MD2: A v LEC - D 1-1 (Wolverton)
MD3: H v EPO - W 2-0 (Scotland, Smith)
MD4: A v QMB - W 2-1 (Scotland, Austin)
MD5: H v JEY
MD6: A v VPH
MD7: H v ARC
FR3: H v SEC
MD8: H v DCK
MD9: H v LEC
MD10: A v EPO
MD11: H v QMB
MD12: A v JEY
MD13: H v VPH
MD14: A v ARC
FR4: A v SRZ

In theoretical physics, cutoff is the maximal or minimal value of energy, momentum, or length, so that the objects with even larger or smaller values than these physical quantities are ignored. It is usually represented within a particular energy or length scale, such as Planck units.

In the NS World Cup, a Matchday Five cut-off is when RPs no longer count towards scorination for that round of games. This is one here. Don’t be a Planck unit.

And here be the MD5 scores (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14373472&postcount=7).

http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/7993/dailyturkjo0.png
Koseli Cumhuriyelter 2 – 2 Sytykvar
It's a F***ing Disgrace
The headline says it all, the Turks once again got away with a terrible home performance and they can consider themselves lucky that it wasn't in Kose Sehir and in the Azeri city of Azarbaycan. The visitors turned in an extremely strong first half performance, almost humiliating the Turks. They got two goals in the first 5 minutes after utterly beating the Turks defense which left Orhan exposed. It could easily have been 3 when the Sytykvar striker shot hard and low, but Orhan beat it away.

The Turks came out of the tunnel after half time needing something and Sinan provided it when he was brought on in the 60th minute, and with his second touch brought the game back to 2-1. The comeback was on, and was nearly stopped when an error by Arif left the goal open to attack, with the visiting strike knocking the ball wide. The Turks then hit the post when Gokhan struck at goal with their keeper tipping it away, then Erdem failed to turn in the rebound. It looked like being on of those days for the Turks, but then the young star Gokhan Smashed in a late equalizer in the 89th minute.

There is a sudden burst of rainbow light in part of the sky over Moskva (the Myedvedeyan's capital city), and six large Ravens fly down out of this. They circle over the city for a few minutes and then descend to perch on a set of bollards just in front of a group of quite well-dressed Bears. The largest of the Ravens, who is wearing a golden chain around his neck, addresses the apparent leader of that group in flawless Russian:
"Excuse me please, gospodin Bear, but could you possibly tell me where in this fine city I will find the person for whom this letter is intended?" He extends one of his feet, in which he is holding a large envelope -- obviously made of high-quality paper -- that bears the inscription

'To whoever is responsible for matters of Diplomacy, The National Government, The Tsardom of Myedvedeya.'

Assuming that he and his escort are eventually directed to somebody who's wiling to open this letter, here it is:


Hrarroom!
(= “Greetings!”)

My country’s government has only recently learnt about the fact that your own nation’s population includes a significant and respected Ursine element. We are a predominantly Ursine nation ourselves, as I hope you have become aware, but had previously seen hardly any other nations in which Ursines play roles of any importance.
On the basis of these facts, the High Council of Clans has directed me to send you a formal offer for the opening of diplomatic relations between our two nations, so that we can learn more about each other and — hopefully — find ways in which to cooperate on any matters of mutual interest that we might discover.
A copy of our official policies concerning foreign embassies is enclosed with this letter. If your own government is willing to exchange embassies with us then please fill in a copy of the relevant form and send it back to me care of ‘Rosa o SnowWhite, Chamber for Diplomatic & Consular Communications, The Hall of The Strangers, Bardvarron Castle, Council Groves, Council Groves, Bears Armed, International Democratic Union.’ We really hope that you will accept this offer, and that you will include some of your own Bears amongst your mission’s staff.


Yours in hopeful anticipation,

Beorra o Berrum,

Chairbear, Committee for The Strangers,
High Council of Clans,
The Confederated Clans of the Free Bears of Bears Armed.

(OOC: The basic policy & application form are in the first post of the thread to which the link in my sig leads. However from now on I am increasing the number of support staff that would be allowed in an embassy from 48 to 72, and allowing for up to 24 of these to have full diplomatic immunity rather than just the “partial” form that was previously the rule…)

Purple Knights Tie Dariusville

'Tis a sad thing that with all are soccering expireience the knights still can't win a game of an easy grade. For the second week in a row know they have tied a lowere team, both ranked way lower then us who should never even be able to compete against. Seriously at seom point we are going to lose one of the games and everyone wil be sorry. How can you tie Dariusville early in a qualifying campaign and still hope to have a chance at qualifying for the cup? The tie drops us two spots in the standings from a qualifying third, to a Cup Of Harmony spot in fifth. At least we still have 9 games to get it going.

The game was a slow one. It was cold in Dariusvile, but not as cold as in Taeshan. We're used to snow but it was raining in villiaen. There team scored early with a 20th minute shot that rocked in with help from the fiberglass. Brian Ying Uing would score the tieing goal eventually in the 76th minute, fitting since it was his 76th goal. But the end was a bad one and know we need all the points we can get to get the coveted third spot to qualify.

Next is the biggest match on the Taeshani first half of qualifying calender. The game is verse there biggest rival Daehanjieguk. The two teams have met 5 times before, and the Hans are one of the few teams the Knights have a winning frinedly record at 3-2. The two will have there anual game, and in this case games, at Atlantea Colliseum for the first game this year. This is one of the games we always think we can win and hopefully at least tie. The Clash will be one of the best games of the season many supporters say, and they cant wait to see the two play.

Woodstock Daily Mail

Without Hicks, B. Wilson, Stars win

By Travis West
Daily Mail Staff Writer

No Brian Wilson? No Spencer Hicks? No problem against O Ale Ale.

In the highest scoring match the Sarzonian national team have played in many years, the Stars came out on the positive end of a 4:3 scoreline in front of a crowd of 61,827 at Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium.

Assistant manager Chris Trautwig changed course from Wilson's stated intent to start Colleen Barnaby in the back four and adopted a 3-5-2 formation with Tim Rodney getting a start at left side defensive midfield.

"Colleen suffered a slight sprain to her right ankle," Trautwig said, explaining his decision. "She could have come in as a substitute if the situation warranted it, but I figured we didn't need to risk it against O Ale Ale." He added that if it had been a World Cup knockout round match, "she would have been in there."

Sarzonia (2-1-2) jumped ahead 3-0 in the first half courtesy of goals by Matt Lynch in the 24th minute, Ettore Salivani, Jr. in the 27th minute and Zack Wilson in the 33rd minute. O Ale Ale tied the score with goals in the 46th, 53rd and 62nd minutes. However, Lynch scored his second goal of the match in the 83rd to provide the Stars with the winning margin.

"It was just a matter of staying with what worked for us," Lynch said. "We had to get back to playing our brand of possession-oriented football and find the openings. We got away from that a bit when we were up 3:0."

The Incorporated Football Federation announced after the match that Brian Wilson would return to manage the team in their away match against world No. 54 Liventia. IFF chairman Dave Wilson, Brian Wilson's father, said the manager was "appropriately contrite" following his outburst yesterday against the Cassadaiguan referee.

"He is profoundly sorry for his words and his actions after that match," Dave Wilson said. "He knows he did wrong by the Cassadaiguans, by us, and by the sport. He assured me he won't do that again." Dave Wilson added that Brian Wilson agreed to seek anger management help.

"I've decided to seek professional help to channel my emotions in a more positive way," Brian Wilson said. "It's obvious that I still have a lot of adjusting to do to my role as national team manager."

Former national team manager Mark Wingate denied a published report that he was asked to return as national team manager.

"I'm busy with other things right now," Wingate said. "Besides, I think Brian has the potential to be a very good manager. He just needs to learn how to handle himself better in situations like these."

Sean looked up at the score board in disappointment. It was another loss, and that meant HUGE ridicule from the media. Zachary Dane and Jeremy Wright had already been trashing the soccer team, and the sports network was eating it up.

Cameron Pollens came jogging over, drenched in sweat. He was breathing hard, but he stopped for a moment to say, "Sorry Coach."

Sean put his hands on his hips as he looked at the score board again, he would have given anything to change it. "It's not your fault," he said quietly, barely audible over the noise of the crowd.

"How is Walter doing?" Walter Fief had received an ugly kick in the knee in the first half.

"Out for a month." Neither of them said anything as they looked out at the field.

Cameron just shook his head and stayed silent for a moment before saying, "There will be better years."

"I just hope that I am around to see them," Sean replied as he turned to go back the lockers. There would be no changes to the roster today, other than taking out Walter Fief. Today, it appeared that everyone was trying, and they were doing as good a job, perhaps better than last week, but Greal had a wall for a defense and Draistania didn't get any good shots at the goal. With a defeat like this, it would be difficult to keep the team animated, but there was no need for punishments today, the loss was punishment enough.

By now, interstellar travel was beginning to wear the Rymerians out. They managed to play one match at their home grounds, National Stadium in Rymeria City, but they had to return to Atalanta in Arroza to play their next "home" match against Green wombat.

That manifested itself when the Rymerians were unable to hold a two-goal lead and settled for a disappointing 2-2 tie against Green wombat in front of 47,258 at Government Park.

The lack of support from Rymerians proper, since there were fewer than 1,000 Rymerians who made the trip from the planet to Atalanta for the World Cup, could be seen in the modest applause the Rymerians drew from the mostly Arrozan audience. However, the Arrozans there at least cheered against Green wombat rather than for the team considered the visiting team.

Forward Mike Lester scored the Rymerians' first goal in the 17th minute when he faked to his right -- his strong side -- and lofted a left-footed shot over a diving goalkeeper Leonard Dvorak for a 1-0 lead. Midfielder Stan Collins extended the lead in the 33rd minute after outsprinting right defender Hattie Medford and slamming the ball past Dvorak.

However, Green wombat answered just before the half with Dale Henke wrong-footing Jeff Aston and sneaking a shot past Matt Peters in the second minute of stoppage time. Henke scored again in the 78th minute after Aston failed to clear a shot in the box out of danger.

Rhinos coach Chris Hannan told the media afterwards that he was giving the team the day off tomorrow to "veg out" for a moment.

"We've been on a whirlwind of travel, both interplanetary and here on Earth," Hannan said. "We just need a day or two to rest up."

The Rhinos (0-3-2, 2 points) won't get much rest. Their next match is an away match against unranked Euro Federations. Hannan said he didn't know anything about the team, but "not too many others do, either."

"They do have a win against Green wombat, so we have to be ready," he said.

World Cup Qualifying Schedule
MD1: Greal VS Chutnusak (1-0)
MD2: Greal VS Idanno (2-3)
MD3: Greal VS Urna Eletrônica (3-1)
MD4: Greal VS Jaseuyeon (0-2)
MD5: Greal VS Draistania (1-0)
MD6: Greal VS Jeruselem
MD7: Greal VS Starblaydia
MD8: Greal VS Chutnusak
MD9: Greal VS Idanno
MD10: Greal VS Urna Eletrônica
MD11: Greal VS Jaseuyeon
MD12: Greal VS Draistania
MD13: Greal VS Jeruselem
MD14: Greal VS Starblaydia

Greal 1-0 Draistania

Seems like we have a strange trail of wins and losses. At this point, we'll have seven wins and seven losses. The game against Draistania seemed short and they put up a good fight, but the Greali offensive players were very well accustomed to this by now.

The game started with Draistania in possession of the ball, but Howard Anderson quickly seized the ball and nearly scored, shaking up the Draistanian defenses. The Greali team had put Draistania on defensive with its attempted kicks at the goal, but finally, just before first half was over, Howard Anderson scored. The the next half, both teams attempted to score, but it was usless and the game ended with a victory for Greal, 1-0 Draistania. Next up is high ranked Jeruselem.

Chutnusak surprisingly, proved to Jaseuyeon that someone could beat them, 1-0.

Jeruselem narrowly won over Urna Electrônica 1-0.

Starblaydia and Idanno were stuck in a scoreless draw, 0-0.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Money Money Money!"

"That was an awesome match."

"Here's the bet you made mate."

"Great, now we gotta play Jeruselem."

"That's not good. What do you bet on?"

"A draw, or scoreless draw."

"How much?"

"Six hundred dollars."

"Don't get too confident."

"Five hundred then."

"You got yourself a bet. How about another cup of coffee?"

"Sure, that was a tiring game."

Jeruselem Government News

Dingle-Bingle Power saves Jeruselem at home

Urna Electrônica fought hard were overcome by the Princesses at Dazza Dallas Stadium. Missing Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas and Joanne Sloan, the Princesses were forced to play a depleted midfield which didn't help matters when the visitors were going on the offensive to catch the locals off guard. With a tricky away game to Greal, a win was needed after the draw with Idanno who incidentally held the Purple Menace to a scoreless draw as well for this match day.

Kate Sallad tried hard but without her cohort Princess Dallas, she had trouble breaking down a solid visitor's defense. The ref didn't help matters calling a few offsides against the home team when they could have scored. Lara Bingle, football player and part-time model - otherwise known to most as "Dingle Bingle" saved the day. She scored from a free kick after someone pulled on her hair to stop getting to the ball. Later on the day, Bingle had a nude photo shoot on the beach for a sponsor.

Coach Ryan Greenly said about the performance
"There wasn't much spirit in the game really. I think missing Marie who's the main team motivator was a factor. The inexperienced midfield weren't the same as it was with Marie so I think it's down a few factors. Anyway, Marie's back in training but she's not fully fit as yet. Joanne's toe is still giving issues so we're not out of the woods as yet."

Crown Prince Henry came down to see the team and opposition team as well
"I spend a lot of time in the army, and we could do with people like our national team in the army. We need more fine young women in the army. Sure we have our Jeru FC team but we need more still. Unfortunately, people don't join the army because they tend to get killed and get paid poorly for their efforts."

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Phobia Competition Results

Last week we asked you what frightened our national football side. The answers were as follows:

Ailurophobia - cats
Brontophobia - thunderstorms
Tomophobia - surgery
Autophobia - being alone
Toxicophobia - being poisoned
Nyctophobia - darkness
Gymnophobia - nudity
Apiphobia - bees
Taurophobia - bulls
Haemophobia - blood
Cynophobia - dogs


We received over 18,000 correct entries, with two prizes each of two tickets for the World Cup Finals up for grabs. Particularly notable were the entries from abroad, such as Qazox and Daehanjeiguk. It's good to see the Daily Herald being read in such far-off lands, although I shudder to think how much it would cost in postage.

Anyway, the two winners chosen at random were:

Mr J. Maddox of Mort Street, Taylor's Cross and
Mr L. Duffield of Taylor Street, Mort Park.

Congratulations to you both.


Letters to the Editor


Sir,

In your recent article, you suggested that Liventian football supporters may be offended by suggestions that the WZFA only schedule matches against lesser nations to be played at the STORMGroup Stadium. May I suggest that, rather than insult Liventia, you insulted the people of Mort Park by suggesting that their town and stadium weren't good enough for the élite to play there.

We are more than capable of coping with the more important games, and it is simply the pro-Moorcroft and pro-Banks element at your paper, and at the WZFA, that suggest otherwise. Perhaps Messrs Clarke and Francis can come and see for themselves - provided, of course, that Mr Francis can keep his trousers on for long enough.

Yours faithfully,

Alex Lawson
55 Northumberland Street
Mort Park MP1 3PZ




Sir,

I can't help but read all this scandal in your paper. Normally, I would be horrified at such suggested smut going on, but at least it's more interesting than the football. Mind you, most things are.

Yours faithfully,
Dorothy Beauchamp
14 Carlisle Street
Redwood RW2 1AZ




Sir,

Concerning the recent game against a team made up of trees, would the team possibly be interested in a set of chainsaws for the return match?

Yours faithfully,

Nathan Smith
12 Belmont Close
Markham MK2 3AZ

1-0 again as Peisandros wins at home

For the third home game in a row, Peisandros managed a 1-0 victory -- a score-line coach Alexander Pappas must be beginning to enjoy. Many Olympians were a bit embarrassed by the well-less-than-capacity crowd for the first round game, so they made up for it big time this game and they were rewarded with a solid Sandrian performance which saw them hold on to second spot in the group. The crowd of 71,179 was loud and enjoyed seeing a Peisandros team controlling the game. While the shortage of goals annoyed some patrons, the game was never really in too much doubt.

The Euro Federations team came in to the game just two points behind Peisandros and were desperate for an away victory to boost them closer to the top three. At the same time, the Sandrians understood the importance of winning home games so were keen to stretch their home record to 3-0-0. As we've seen in this group already, rankings can pretty much go out the window so no-one was paying much attention to Euro Federations lack of ranking -- just as some of the other teams have become weary of the 84th place ranking Peisandros currently holds.

With Dorian Theotokis and Adeipho Fotilas playing their first home games, it was especially emotional for them to run out on to an all-but full National Sports Arena. However most players felt that tingle up the spine -- even Costa Theotokis, Nikolaidis and Halkias, who had been a part of every international football game played by Peisandros. After the anthems had been played and handshakes shared, Fotilas stopped and said a quick prayer. The devout Catholic praying for a safe game played in the right spirit... Oh, and for a Peisandros victory.

Once the game had begun, the Sandrian players let the emotion overcome them for the first ten - fifteen minutes. It produced an early chance for Euro Federations as one of the midfielders was able to cut through the defence in the 14th minute. Luckily for Peisandros D. Theotokis was switched on and pulled off a quality save, but was unable to hold on to the ball so Euro Federations earned a corner. This early opportunity seemed to snap the Sandrians in to game mode and nothing resulted of the corner. That early chance was one of just four on-goal shots allowed by the ever strong defence.

With the platform being set at the back, there was an abundance of ball available for the midfielders to use and make chances with. Debutant Fotilas especially looked promising and was showcasing what many knew he possessed, namely a lot of skill. Each time he got the ball, he appeared to instantly have time and space. Perhaps the defenders were holding off him, as in the 24th minute he used the space to attack deep in to opposition half. They continued to hold off, expecting a pass to Diakos or C. Theotokis. However neither came and Fotilas let off a rocket of a shot, only to be denied by the crossbar. The keeper hadn't even moved and stood shocked looking at his defenders.

Unfortunately for Fotilas his space mysteriously disappeared after that early opportunity. He was still heavily involved in getting the ball forward to Diakos and Nikolaidis, but his own time with the ball was far less. The other secondary midfielders Halkias and Karras were kept busy too. Karras, who had been playing only fair football since coming in to the starting team, was having a very good game and he too had a great chance of scoring in the first half. The 32nd minute saw a one two between Karras and Nikolaidis which set Karras off. Like Fotilas earlier, the defenders tended to hang back in order to cover C. Theotokis. In what seemed to be an exact replay, Karras let rip with a great shot. This time though the keeper somehow got a hand to it and tipped it over the crossbar.

With the corner won, there was a quick discussion on field.

Nikolaidis: "I'll take it. Costa, go near post."
Halkias: "Settle down. I think they'll have C well covered, they have all game. Costa start near post then head round to the back. Hyakinthos!"
Bion: "Yes skip?"
Halkias: "I want you to make a run from directly infront of goal around to the front post, okay?"
Bion: "Sure thing."

With the plan sorted, Nikolaidis jogged over to the far right corner. He placed the ball as per usual with the logo facing outwards. Readying himself, he put up his left hand indicating the players start their runs. With a casual few steps in, he struck the ball with his right foot, sending it curling away from the goal. Bion came charging around and closed his eyes as the contact came. The header was perfect. The defender on the near post had no chance as the ball raced over his head and keeper could only look in despair. 33rd minute and the lanky defender Hyakinthos Bion had his first goal for Peisandros.

For once the Sandrians didn't just drop back and defend once they had the lead. For the last ten minutes of the half, they continued to press forward and look for a second goal. C. Theotokis had a few chances but nothing that he could convert. So, going in to the half, it was 1-0 to Peisandros.

At half time, coach Pappas made just one surprising change. Karras came off and was replaced by defender Luke Erasmus. It appeared as if Peisandros would revert to their usual ultra-defensive post-goal routine. Because of this, the second half was a dull affair. Euro Federations were unable to string long periods of possession together and Peisandros was too focused with maintaining it's lead rather than building on it. The game meandered through the half -- at which point the crowd started getting some what restless. Noticing this, and with only five minutes of normal time left, Pappas made another change. This time he took off goal scorer Bion and put on a midfielder, local boy and crowd favourite Paris Sisinis. The change cheered the crowd up and also gave Peisandros one final chance in the 91st minute, which they were unable to capitalise on.

Speaking after the game, coach Alexander Pappas was again very happy with the performance.

"Stoked. Yep, really happy. I know we're regarded as a very defensive team, but we still manage to win games. Even if it is only by one goal, a win is a win. We do need to make sure we work hard away from home though. That's where the valuable points are. Anyway, I'll give a press conference later on to name our team for the match days six and seven. These two games are very important for us."

Jeruselem and Qazox Gymnophobia Support Society Newsletter

Hello readers. As you all know if one lives in Jeruselem or Qazox, both nations are not people suffering from Gymnophobia. Some of our older members have sadly committed suicide but the good news is severity of Gymnophobia in recent members is much reduced.

Particularly in Jeruselem, Gymnophobia is less common now. I think in the old days with the highly conservative religious attitudes being prevalent, lead to many people developing severe Gymnophobia when they are young. You'd think with them Dallas coming along, it'd get worse but what's happened is the younger generations are more accepting of nudity and hence less Gymnophobia in general. The average age of our Jeruselemite Gymnophobians is increasing and we are getting less younger members. If one is a Gymnophobian, then they are never going have kids either or find it really hard.

Unfortunately, it's harder for our older members to reform as well. There are nudity free media channels but they aren't very exciting and cater for the older audiences as well as not attracting younger people and hence they don't get much advertising money to keep running.

Now, the planned march has been called off. We've heard some of new female police recruits are wearing rather skin-tight sexy uniforms which might send members into panic and cause a general stampede and hence we can't take the risk of hurting ourselves.

The newsletter usually employs a Gymnophobia as a secretary but we're stopping this. The last few have been unreliable and the last one ran into a wall when a Dallas came in for a visit. The new girl is here and she's quite good except she's quite a looker and scares a few members because good lookers tend to be nymphomaniacs. OK, her first name happens to be Dazza but then these days girls being named Dazza is becoming more common.

Speaking of Dallas girls, Gymnophobia suffers who think they have beaten the condition have a challenge. Princess Marie is giving free entry to Gymnophobia sufferers to a party where there will nude women. If one can handle the situation, they'll get 1000 Shekels! So if you want to see if you have fixed your Gymnophobia, here's your chance to win some money. This only applies in Jeruselem since Marie can only be in one place at a time. If you know you won't handle it, please do not go.

Oh yes, anyone with Gymnophobia visiting my place please be aware my sister has a tendency to wander around naked in the house. You have been warned.

The Editor

Dancougar News!!
My other car is a VF-25.

Domestics prove worth on the road: A Dancougar lineup consisting of ten home-based players hasn't been seen since the early days of the World Cup, when the entire team was drawn from players in the college ranks. But with growing confidence, Solomon Bilbao has continued to give his reserves a chance to play, first at home and now on the road. No, neither game has been against a signature opponent, but the 3-0 win over Akbarabad will ensure that Bilbao will have plenty of battle-tested players to choose from when the going gets tough down the stretch.

"Whenever you have an opportunity to exercise your bench, and to have them play this effectively, it's a good day to be coach," said Bilbao, who now has his team coasting at three goals a game for the maximum fifteen points. "Players like Shishio [Jinguuji] and Yuji [Watanabe] are looking at this as probably their last tournament, so you're seeing players today who are going to step up in the future."

Plenty of people will say that Bilbao is being incredible short-sighted for looking ahead to World Cup 45 before they've even played a third of World Cup 44's qualifying matches, but as long as the team keeps winning, they'll let him stick to his plan. Alexei Voronzoff and Benjamin Whittaker were the powers in midfield and were expected to take the leadership role. Voronzoff showed some good vision in picking out forwards Paul Dinsmoor and Karen Stadler, although he tried to set the tone himself with a 6th-minute shot that Aminul Islam watched sail over the bar.

Five-times D-League champion Shuukyuu Kishin were well-represented in the starting lineup, as Dinsmoor was one of three regulars on the field for Dancougar. Midfielder Dwayne Landro and defender Joseph Cecilia completed the trifecta, although there was some excitement over the possibility of it one day being a quartet... Jennifer Sloan's retirement has left Dinsmoor as the lone gun on the Kishin front line, and while fans want to see how good he is as the team's leader, they wouldn't complain if the rumors of a Stadler transfer are true. Fans of the pair were further encouraged by their 15th-minute give-and-go that gave Dinsmoor a crack at goal, but Islam parried it wide.

Four minutes later, Voronzoff opened the scoring. Al McNespy lined up a free kick from thirty yards away and fired an outswinger over the wall. Voronzoff ran up and got it before defender Hasan Mohammed, launching a powerful header into the net for a 1-0 lead. The assist was a sweet one for McNespy, who has never really gotten out of Lyle Dylandy's shadow at Sporting Kildare. He was one of Dancougar's hardest-working players in this one, although his overzealous challenges eventually resulted in a yellow card.

Dancougar continued to pour on the pressure in the first half, frustrating the Akbarabad attack by holding it to just two shots in the first 45 minutes. But they were quality efforts from Samin Akbar through which the home team were unlucky not to score. The first was a volley from the top of the box that dipped late, and Brengle's late leap and full extension were just enough to tip it over. The next one happened in the 35th off a corner, as Akbar twisted in midair to redirect a Khaled Assad corner kick. Fortunately it was aimed right at Brengle, but it had some kick and he was unable to field it cleanly. It bounced into the path of Cecilia who wasted no time and booting it clear.

Stadler scored her second international goal moments later in the 37th. Whittaker found her on a diagonal run into the box and she managed to control the ball with her first touch. The second touch was a sweeping shot with her right foot aimed at the far post. The momentum spun her into the turf, but the cheer from the Dancougar section alerted her to the goal, and she was on her feet in an instant to celebrate. The Wings were looking good and would put the game beyond reach before halftime. Just as they went into stoppage time, Landro took a square ball from McNespy and spotted Islam a bit off his line. He lined up a shot and took it, and from 25 yards out, Islam was beaten. The boos rained down with the ref's final whistle, and there was still a whole half to be played.

The Wings produced more chances in the second half, but Akbarabad greatly improved its defensive play. The central defenders, Mohammed and Zakir Ahmed, turned up the physicality and made it harder for Stadler and Dinsmoor to reach open space. They were quick to show Stadler that they weren't going to go easy on her, especially after her goal. She was knocked to the turf in the 49th and won a free kick, but McNespy drilled it into the wall. She dropped farther back into the midfield as the game went on as the Akbarabad defense stood its ground. But even from there, she still showed sparks of creativity, such as a slick pass to Voronzoff in the 60th that nearly caught Islam off guard once again.

Akbarabad came close to pulling one back in the 74th when Hamid Kabir earned a free kick at the top of the box thanks to a clumsy challenge by Don Samrov. Both players were tugged at each other as they fought for position, and the referee gave the benefit of the doubt to the attacker, and Samrov barely escaped a booking for dissent. Kabir took it himself and curled it over the wall, looking for the head of Zahid Mohammed. Mohammed's header smacked off the post and into play, where Cecilia was once again in a position to make a play.

Group six roundup: On a day when Operata released its roster, marking the first time in its history that Dancougar could actually name all of its opposition, the subway-dwellers were handed a thorough 3-0 defeat by Qazox, which remains perfect along with the Wings. Qazox leads the group slightly on goal differential, having scored seventeen against two while Dancougar have fifteen against two.

Rennidan and Kelssek both missed an opportunity to get separation in third place by playing to a 0-0 draw, and both now sit eight points behind the leaders with identical records. I mean completely identical; the tiebreaker currently appears to be the K over the R. Colbourne and St Samuel also played to a 0-0 draw.

Regulars to return for matchday six: Bilbao's roster against Rennidan will return several starters to their usual positions, and fans will hope that the extended time off won't leave them rusty. Oh, sure, they've been playing plenty of club football in that time, but anyone will tell you that the international game is different, especially because they all have to resynchronize with each other. Rennidan are in a bit of a funk with only one point from their last two matches, but the Eagles have the undisputed edge over the Wings when it comes to youth. The home crowd in Yuki City will nevertheless expect the winning ways to continue.

STARTING XI: Watanabe; Berber, Carter, Leeds; Dylandy, Voronzoff, Underwood, Ingram, Landro; Potts, Furuya
SUBSTITUTES: Brengle; Yamada, Yukikaze; Whittaker, Morisue; Jinguuji, Stadler

World Cup 44 Qualification - Group 2
MD1: 2-0 vs [42] West Zirconia (@ Munhwa Football Stadium - 65,000, Hanseong)
MD2: 0-2 @ [???] Sarzonia (@ Bryan Marshall Memorial Stadium - 88,920, Woodstock)
MD3: 5-0 vs [76] Dariusville (@ Potala Palace - 34,000, Lasa)
MD4: 2-0 @ [54] Liventia (@ Colonial Stadium, Orean)
MD5: 2-0 vs [1] Valanora (@ Cha Beomgeun Memorial Football Stadium - 200,000, Hangyeong)
MD6: @ [34] Taeshan (@ Atlantea Colosseum - 599,000, Atlantea)
MD7: vs [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ Gwangdong Imperial Sports Complex and Stadium - 80,000, Gwangju)
MQ: ---
MD8: @ [42] West Zirconia (@ Manchester Street - 85,000, Moorcroft)
MD9: vs [???] Sarzonia (@ Seobanya National Football Stadium - 50,000, Daebo)
MD10: @ [76] Dariusville (@ Humphra Ignhorium - 2,000, some forest in Dariusville)
MD11: vs [54] Liventia (@ Silk Road Stadium - 56,000, Seoan)
MD12: @ [1] Valanora (@ Hatire Memorial - 60,000, Capri)
MD13: vs [34] Taeshan (@ Tae-majt Park - 69,000, Pyeongyang)
MD14: @ [0_0] O Ale Ale (@ hopefully not in a beer bottle)



MBC World Cup Special Report
http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t156/daehanjeiguk/news.png

He's Forgiven - Han beat Valanora

HANGYEONG - Well, he can take his aged old team to the World Cup, he can slap the youngsters on if he likes too, he can take your wife for his pleasure, he can kill some young punk with a sledgehammer, he can launch the country's nuclear arsenal at some obscure country, he can even kiss the figurative Emperor's %$#^ - just as long as he qualifies for the World Cup - he's earned some respect for beating the best team in the world, snapping perhaps the longest unbeaten streak in recent memory (if not ever... of course, some old fart will probably pull up some newspaper clipping proving otherwise). Of course, you already know that, because we'd already told you that last time. So why write another article saying the exact same thing? Well, for one, it's cheap (I get paid by the word :D); but since my editor won't like any bit of that, I'll explain to you why the Vanorians not only lost, but why they failed to score any goals against the Han.

The simple answer: shell shock. Coming back from a last minute draw from West Zirconia, the Vanorians were too assured. It was just one late goal, and on any other day, it would have gone out (or at least Tinehtelë would have smacked that ball away). Well, what was self-delusional assurances turned to bitter reprieve as the match went out. Valanora dominated possession; they dominated shots; they dominated corner kicks; but they lacked spirit. Much like the Han at Sarzonia, they had the anticipation that this game was going to be a gimme, but whatever preparation Ioshido had in store for his side proved otherwise. The game was anything but a gimme, and the Han simply fought harder.

The long and boring answer: Song Jongguk. You hardly hear about how this guy is going out of his way to make the game an easy exercise for the team, but he was certainly the pivot man. For a Han side that hardly plays in the middle, Song Jongguk made a lot of plays that helped out the Han. Even though Valanora dominated the critical possession game, Song Jongguk made the best of his position to keep the strikers off to the side, where the 3 man defense could more easily with the attacks. Go Jeongun also proved his worth, showing that he could make as much defensive as offensive plays. Three times, he headed the ball out to safety on a late dash; it was honestly like watching a replay. Kim Yongji - at the center of the defense - was basically like one of those airplane guides who direct the plane off the tarmac. His hands were flying all over, pointing at the open strikers and getting defense in the right place to deal with the Vanorian threat; and in the end, they all got the work done. Of 17 shots fired, only 6 made the target, of which Kim Jongguk only needed to save 4 (Kim and Song got blocks for the two other shots from a clearly flustered and frustrated Laborious Hawk). But defense hardly wins the game; you need goals. Kim Daeeui saw his great break during the match at Liventia and started the match obviously refreshed. He's an old fellow, but he's still got those young legs that made him notorious in WC36 and in World Cups since. Baek Jihun also had a nice break from games and came into the game very refreshed. Together, the two capitalized on the loose spirit present on the Vanorian side and made some spectacular plays; I wouldn't say that they're the top of the notch, but when you consider #11 against #1, they all worked out alright. Of course, Tinehtelë was not going to just let any old shot by his guard, but the same mistakes that cost him his clean sheet against West Zirconia came back to haunt him. The Han made their plays from distance, playing the curvature of the ball.

I'll be honest and say that the Han probably suck at long-distance shots. That's why whenever they do score one, it's a great sensation. And I'd love to say that they scored two fantabulous shots, but it certainly wasn't the case. In fact, the long-range shots primed Tinehtelë for his great humiliation in the 39th minute, charging upon an open Kim Daeeui from just outside the box. Rather than take the shot, Kim chipped the ball over to Pak Gyuseon, who headed the ball behind Tinehtelë; that's how the Han play football - deception. Going into the half with the Han up, you'd expect Tinehtelë to learn from his mistake, but soon thereafter, he fell for a similar trick with Yi Yeongpyo, but the back pass hit a defender and the ball went flying to the other side of the field (where Kim Yongji et al. kept the ball shadowed for a goal kick). I'm glad that Tinehtelë stopped doing that lunge and exposing his rear side so whimsically, but for the Han, it was hard trying to get another goal. And with Ioshido aware of the Vanorian threat upon the Han goal (after all, Kim Jongguk wasn't Superman; he couldn't keep out all of those shots). But with Kim Daeeui and Pak Gyuseon failing to make any serious openings, Ioshido turned to his cookbook for success and subbed on Kim Byeongji. Wait a minute, that's the oldest guy in the lot! What's he thinking? He takes off Song Jongguk, and puts on an older chap in his place? I'd imagine that if Kim Yongdae were still alive (one of three Han players killed in the Mujeongbu attacks in Casari during WC40Q), he'd have subbed him on for Kim Jongguk (of course, goalkeepers tend to be the rare exception to the younger is better...ironically).

As it turns out, Song Jongguk was getting tired, and after playing as many matches for club and country, Ioshido was reluctantly giving him a well-deserved. But why Kim Byeongji? I have no clue why, and it didn't seem to make any difference with how the Han were playing. Defense was holding, and offense was having its hard time making inroads into a space closed tighter an Imperial quarantine (of course, Imperial quarantines tend to accumulate dead bodies after a while...). Maybe the substitution did nothing, and I'm just being a smart-ass about it. After all, you'd expect substitutions to be tactical, not practical. In any case, sub or not, Kim Daeeui managed to hit a shot on target of the crossbar; and unlike most shots on the crossbar, he got a second chance and hit the crossbar again; and unlike most second chances, he got a third chance and hit the post. I'd imagine that Tinehtelë was like "well %$#^ this", because the fourth shot was a beauty - top right corner, like no one saw it coming (well, after four tries, no one did see it coming). That was in the 78th minute, and fortunately, there wasn't anything like Kim Daeeui's either really good or really bad streak on the opposite side of the pitch for the remainder of the match. It stood 2-0, and the little lizard that roared roared like a dragon.

And by golly, I almost forgot about the fans! If you wonder why most international stadiums are under 100,000 capacity, it's because fans can get rowdy. 50,000 is a lot easier to control, as compared to 200,000, which is the principal reason why the IFA is not sponsoring any more 100,000+ stadia for use in the Han Empire for a while (of course, the other reason is trying to fill all of those seats...). And fortunately, the 200,000 seater at Cha Beomgeun was filled to capacity (not over, not under, just right); and the fans were polite. It was impressive what the fans did. There were placard waves, showing the Imperial dragon eating the Vanorian flag (not that I'd ever recommend the same for and real demonstrations... dragons are hard to come by and eating a foreign flag is extremely disrespectful); there were written cheers on the placards; you wondered if the fans actually watched the game, with what dedication they put into it. And they did watch, because the stadium completely erupted at sight of Pak and Kim's goals. And when the match ended, the fans erupted again in rapturous joy. I mean, thankfully for Valanora, we weren't Sarzonia; this would have been a tragic embarrassment. But the 11th side beating the 1st ranked is not as bad as people might make it out to be. Considering that the lowest side in the Cup is 147th, the Han loss to Sarzonia is equivalent to at least 131 points; whereas a 11th to 1st loss is only 10. Of course, Sarzonia have also the benefit of being a prior contender for the World Cup, so football isn't completely foreign to them (in fact, if the Starblaydia trend is quite popular, expect to see Sarzonia crowned World champions in WC47).

But that won't be any condolence to the Vanorians, who have now claimed only one point from the last two meetings. And the Vanorians are clearly not as bad as they played out against the Han today. In fact, I'd have really my pity reserved for the unlucky chaps who play against Valanora next; because Valanora typically does come back with a vengeance, and two matches removed is going to a really sad occasion for some woodland oaks.

In other news, the number of bets going down at the central district for a 2-0 margin victory/loss seems to be the new popular trend, as the Han have ended 4 of their last 5 matches 2-0 (3 win, 1 loss). The really hot bet is a 2-0 win, while some pessimists - rightfully so, beating Valanora might be great, but it doesn't mean to slack off - are putting it up on a 2-0 loss. This much I'll say though... if the Han lose 2-0, the central district might go bankrupt, so Ioshido will need to keep that in mind. Win so the gambling economy won't collapse! Or if you are going to lose, don't lose by 2-0.


=== === ===

Pak watched from the limelight as Kim Shinyok scored yet another goal. He checked his watch; just maybe, they could pull off a win! They still had 16 minutes to score two more goals, but as they saw with their previous encounter, the Pearls were playing keep away. #10 was not only a skilled all-around player; he also knew how to keep the ball. It took at least three people to pry the ball away from him, and only then some other Pearls fellow would catch the ball and play with it until #10 got the ball back. So now they need to block #10 from getting the ball, while blocking others from helping #10.

No, no... that's not football. That's #10. Pak tried to shake off that odd thought. It was football! In football, players play the ball, not the man! But it was so hard to try not playing the man, especially if that man was playing you. It all sounded like a bad joke.

Kick-off once more, and #10 was hoarding the ball. Kim Shinyok tried to tackle him, but #10 flipped the ball around, parading the ball on his feet the whole. The crowd was mixed between disgust (at the referee for allowing the goals) and cheers (for #10's fancy footwork), but by then, Pak had learned to ignore the crow completely. And even though #10 was looking to hold the ball on for as long as he could, he was still making random shots at Yang. But with the score at 3-2, Pak couldn't decide whether #10 would more be more interested in preserving his hat-trick or winning the game. Pak decided to risk the later and stayed back, watching with care. #10 dribbled around, while Kim Jeongeun tried prying the ball away. Wang Suncheol certainly like joining the party, but Pak gestured to him to stay away until a ripe moment. Meanwhile, Kim Shinyok was playing more aggressively; usually Pak adamantly believed in hold positions, but for the kid who just scored two goals because he broke his position - perhaps he could be allowed a little leeway.

Then again, he still had substitution options. Maybe some fresh legs would change things around. Bae. Yes, on the next opportunity, he would substitute himself off for Bae. True, Bae wasn't the best fellow, but he was the next best option for the team. Who else? Yim Sumin was getting a bit tired. May sub him off for Yi Gangno? That would definitely turn the game up. A strong right side for Kim Shinyok to make his clinical strikes on goal; that would seal the final two goals. Now... to get the ball.

Actually, if he wanted to substitute, he needed to get #10 to knock the ball out of bounds. He gestured to Wang Suncheol - attack! He gestured to No Chanho - hold! He checked his watch, 13 minutes. He cautiously waited for Wang to start his lunge, and then he darted off to help Kim with the ball. Whether #10 noticed the two converging upon him didn't seem to matter; Kim had managed by himself to corner #10 against the boundary line. The only thing that kept him from the ball was a quick head and quick feet. But when Wang and Pak arrived, the dynamic suddenly changed. Surprisingly, #10 still held firm control over the ball. But Pak was expecting this; a gentle nudge on the back and the ball would fall out. Pak tried again, looking to reach for the ball; a gentle nudge and the ball would fall out. #10 was managing to keep the ball, and now it was Pak who was getting frustrated. No - keep your focus on the ball. A gentle nudge would throw the ball out. Well, that was a little more noticeable...

"What the %$#^ is your problem?" #10 yelled, shoving Pak back as the ball strolled off the pitch. The referee blew his whistle, rushing just in time to see #10 spit on Pak's shirt. He flashed yellow. "I need you to get off the field," the ref bluntly told him. "I can't have players disrespecting each other."

"You really should be giving that %$#^ a red card. He's all up my ass."

The referee was unrelenting; he put away the yellow card and flashed red. And while the crowd was booing, Pak smiled. The game dynamic suddenly just changed.

The New Cleethorpes Enquirer
Strong run sees first victory

The national football team have strung together a serious of strong performances that belied the disappointment of their dreadful opening display against The Holy Empire, culminating last night in their first victory of their World Cup campaign, beating Miroxia 2-0 before a capacity crowd at the National Stadium of Sports, in Highmark City.

Many were calling for a complete overhaul of the squad that suffered five goals without reply in an abysmal encounter at the hands of a merciless Frostican side, but coach Jeremy Dixon and captain Theo Littlefellow answered their critics with an uplifying showing against Miroxia, cheered on by supporters from across the country eager for revenge for the Miroxian victory in the 11th Rugby World Cup late last year.

The return to form began with back-to-back defeats that nonetheless demonstrated the newly fortified resolve after the side after the embarrassment of Matchday 1. They kept firm favourites Newmanistan within reach throughout their away game, twice equalising before a stunning overhead kick from Jennifer Vilardi made it 3-2 in the 84th minute. Roger Longhorn and Jessica Jensen, who played flawlessly throughout to win QBC's phone-poll for 'Player of the Match', both scored.

Their first home game at the Goldfish Bowl in Piedmont saw a disappointing loss to Septentrionia, perhaps best known as the hosts of the All Greys' humiliating early departure from the RWC, but the team showed promise and spark throughout, falling foul of a rough offside call against Dennis Young and a dubious booking for Charlie Williams, the free kick from which resulted in the second Septentrionian goal.

"Promising showings don't win points, though", warned Dixon, whose prayers were then answered with a shock draw to the badly out-of-form Milchama, currently tenth in the world. Playing away, the Quodites fell behind early to a goal from Milchama legend Dunston Copperlee, but the 'all-time greats' then failed to perform as they faced wave after wave of attacking moves, culminating in a wonderful eight-pass move that Charlie Williams finished in style with a blazing strike off his unfavoured right foot, more than making up for his foul in the previous match.

And last night, at last, the team capped their steady improvement with a full three points, thumping the lacklustre Miroxians 2-0 with goals from midfielders Peter Rogers and Frederic Renard. In the first half, Rogers burst through the Miroxian defence chasing down a perfectly weighted long ball over the top from captain Theo Littlefellow, finishing with one touch as the flailing keeper found himself in no-person's land; in the second, he won a free kick for an obvious late tackle, stepping aside to allow Renard to strike it clean in from 32 yards, curling the ball wickedly over a shambolic wall.

The team now travel to Alex Ruined Hallelujah, currently trailing the group with five straight defeats, and then face Nethertopia at home in a difficult encounter. Following the break, they will have to bank on much improvement if they are to avoid another catastrophe when they receive The Holy Empire.

Although qualification remains distinctly unlikely, players and commentators alike have been cheered by the recent good form. "I think it reflects an ability to compete at this level," said forward Dennis Young, who will be itching to net his first goal of the World Cup soon. QBC pundit Ned O'Shea agreed: "The side that faced Miroxia was light-years away from the side we saw against The Holy Empire".

Still, there is no chance of complacency as the players battle, not only for their hopes in this World Cup, but to convince a still sceptical sports establishment that pursuit of international football is a worthwhile endeavour. The QFA will convene at the end of the qualification stage to decide whether to allocate funding for continued World Cup ventures, a decision likely dependent on the scale of the expected increase in government funding for 2009.

SaxerDome, SaxerVilla..

Before the game:

Fernando Turek was standing just outside the locker room, when he was lightly tapped on the shoulder.

"What is it, the game starts in 30 minutes!" he turned to answer. Victor Samuels, Jr was there with a look of shock of his face.

"Sir, I can't play tonight." Victor said sheepishly.

"Why not?" Turek replied.

"My father just had an heart attack and they're taking him the the hospital. I.. I.. can't think, I don't even remember who we are playing tonight. I mean, damn, this was going to be his first chance to see me start for team in person. And I was..." He stammered befpre crying.

"Listen, go, go now. Be with your father. I remember just after we were eliminated in World Cup 33 and he told me that your mom was pregnant, with you in fact. He was so proud, it didn't matter to him that we lost to Geisenfried, he just so damn happy, someone in the QFA had him investigated for gambling. But that look on his face that day, only other time I saw him smile like that was the day he told me that you were on the U-16 team and that they were thinking of moving you up the the national team the next World Cup Cycle. Go and if he pulls through tell him I said 'Hi.'" Turek said as he helped Victor out to the team van, and a tear came to his eye as he walked back to tell the team.

(Qazox goals:
Jason Erca- 42'
Benjamin Ernst- 56'
Michelle de Barre- 67')

The Zito Zip
Ryemria, alien, but not.
Immegrants from fareway,
played in Atalanta, today.
Henke got two goals,
so did the visitors.
yeatanother Draw, 2-2.
4th place still
Peisandros on the till
as the shock of group.



Schedule:
MD1: Secristan D 1-1 (0-1-0)
MD2: Terreiro de Ogum W 1-0 (1-1-0)
MD3: @ Euro Federations L 1-2 (1-1-1)
MD4: Tynelia D 1-1 (1-2-1)
MD5: @ Rymeria D 2-2 (1-3-1)
MD6: Peisandros
MD7: @ Lovisa
MD8: @ Secristan
MD9: @ Terreiro de Ogum
MD10: Euro Federations
MD11: @ Tynelia
MD12: Rymeria
MD13: @ Peisandros
MD14: Lovisa