NationStates Jolt Archive

The Bureaucratic Tribune

Oglethorpia makes it to bottom of the table

Megalopolis City (BT) -- Intending to finish a disastrous return to World Cup 22 on at least a decent note, Oglethorpia ironically lost by their largest margin all Cup; 5-1 to Raptor Claw.

"Y'know," started a visibliy angry Torrence Black, "we weren't going to qualify anyways. They didn't need to beat us by four goals."

Oglethorpia seemed poised to maintain their fourth-place group position through matchday ten; but it was not to be, ending on the bottom of the tables with a 1-1-7 record.

"See, I was close," claimed Staplin with his prediction of a 2-2-6 record (before the Melmond drop out brought the group to five teams). "Except we were worse, which totally makes sense."

Besides the OAF Four Year Plan, we asked head moral supporter Torrence Black what he'd be doing different for the next Cup, having been confirmed to still hold the position.

"Get rid of that damned Mike White Jr. in goal. Maybe he should do some jackass [read - honorable] profession such as journalism, like his dad," Black said.

With Oglethorpia bowing out of the Cup in a glorious blaze, the nation can turn its eyes to another prospective asskicking in the Under 21 World Cup 16.

'ello 'ello. Sergeant Turquiose, Bettia Police here.

I guess by now you've heard about this controversy about the Gabalfa Observer and the quality of its sports reporting. We've conducted our own little enquiry, found the person responsible and have taken the journo concerned into custody. After a little bit of, ahem, persuasion, he has spilled the beans. Apparently he's only just started in this line of work, and being fresh and inexperienced, he claims he was running short of ideas to start off with. After being, ahem, persuaded using all sort of cruel and horrible devices (including my singing), he has freely admitted that he cribbed a few paragraphs here and there whilst writing up his first couple of reports, but since then, the reports have been 'all his own work'. He has been severely chastised and humbled for this slapdash approach, and he says he had no ill intent and promises never to do it again because he has now got the hang of this RP sports writing lark and finds it quite easy to cobble something together at short notice. Honest.

It has also come to our attention that the national team manager has been found to be ineligible for the position due to the fact that he can see perfectly well out of both eyes, and merely make up the story about losing one in a bizarre training ground incident in order to fradulantly claim benefits, and also to hide the fact that he was crap at footy and was always the last one picked at school. Whilst the nation appreciates that he has put Bettian football on the world map, the FAB has taken the difficult decision to sack him. His assistant Munir At-Tariq will take over as caretaker manager with immediate effect.

Oh, and a quick message for any Vilitan spies lurking in the vicinity - the word you were looking for is plagerism, not perjury - that means lying in court. Tschh. You know what I'm talking about. We're watching you watching us. Or something...

Oh, and if Bettia are stripped of the BofF Cup (which they shouldn't be, but then again I'm biased), we think it should go to our AO neighbours Nedalia. They're jolly good sports.

Evenin' all.

WORLD CUP PREVIEW

After a World Cup that seemingly was on the road to ruin, the teams have finally been whittled to 32 and the games are finally getting set to begin.

Group 1: (Liverpool England)
Audioslavia
Crystilakere
Oaker
Wella

Look for Audioslavia to progress along with Crystilakere. Oaker will give it a run, but Wella is going to be cannon fodder.

Group 2: (Liverpool England)
Rejistania
Dance 2 Revolution
One Red Dot
Gaian Ascendancy

This is a tough group to figure out with One Red Dot and Dance 2 Revolution possibly making runs at joining Rejistania in the knockouts. The edge goes to D2R.

Group 3: (Legalese)
Legalese [cohost]
Sarzonia
Commerce Heights
Hiiraan

Sarzonia will probably move on with Commerce Heights, but Legalese could take advantage of home field and play spoiler. Hiiraan will get themselves into trouble with their mouths.

Group 4: (Legalese)
Cockbill Street
Squornshelous
Druida
Jeruselem

Druida have been cursing their luck in this draw, but they'll beat out Jeruselem and join Cockbill Street in the knockouts. Squornshelous will be back some other time.

Group 5: (Vilita)
Bedistan
Turori
Tadjikistan
Spurland

After a tough run through Baptism of Fire XVI, Spurland finally advances to the World Cup finals. They'll have to watch Turori and Bedistan go through.

Group 6: (Liverpool England)
Total n Utter Insanity
Svecia
Starblaydia
Krytenia

Pity poor Krytenia. They and Svecia will be on the outside looking in with this group.

Group 7: (Liverpool England)
Liverpool England [cohost]
Eauz
The Lowland Clans
Raptor Claw

Arguably the Group of Death. Trihosts Liverpool England and Raptor Claw to advance, but will they have anything left in the tank?

Group 8: (Vilita)
Vilita [cohost]
EL CID THE HERO
Lovisa
Five Civilized Nations
Another strong Baptism of Fire side in Five Civilized Nations makes its presence felt, but Vilita and EL CID THE HERO move on to the knockouts.

World Cup XXII Qualifying Honour Roll:

Golden Boot Award (Most goals, one team): Krytenia (27)
Boot Of Stone Award (Fewest goals, one team): Abysmalistan (one)
Shadow of Karela Award (Fewest goals against, one team): Sarzonia (one)
Rented Goalie Award (Most goals against, one team): 27 (Lennon Marx)
Tina Turner Award (Best team in qualifiers): Krytenia and Tadjikistan (10-0-0 each; Krytenia scored more goals with 27, but Tadjikistan conceded two goals while scoring 18)
Richard Harris MacArthur Park Award (Worst team in qualifiers): Lennon Marx (0-0-10).
Meryl Streep Award (Greatest goal differential): Audioslavia (plus-22)
Rod Stewart Award (Worst goal differential): Lennon Marx (minus-25)
Mick Jagger Award (Greatest first-second separation): Krytenia-Svecia (12 points)
Stevie Nicks Award (Closest first-second finish): Squornshelous-Lovisa (both teams went 6-3-1 with 21 points; Squornshelous wins due to goal differential)
Fifth Beatle Award (Toughest luck): Nova Britannicus (missed qualification by one point)
Four Leaf Clover Award (Best luck): Legalese (advances to World Cup in spite of third place finish due to hosting mix-up).

the following actions happened between the hours of 8pm and 9pm.

Doomhammer is watching the shopping channel. S.Sam enters the room with a peace of paper.

SS: ok sir. I have your timetable for this week. You have a charity dinner on Wednesday.

DH: which charity?

SS: I believe it is for the distressed elephants campaign.

DH: a cause close to my hart. Next

SS: you have a book launch on Sunday. You’re new autobiography.

DH: that should earn me a tidy sum, and then?

SS: and then your monthly press conference.

DH: … But. I…I mean… if… Banana hammock!!

SS: Sir?

DH: you know as much as I do that the press is just out to lynch me.

SS: we haven’t given any Information to the press in 4 years. In a WC season we have to have a press conference.

DH: can’t you just get a double or something?

SS: it has to be you sir!

DH: but what if…

SS: IT HAS TO BE YOU!!!!!

DH: … fine. But if I get lynched I will blame you.

Pschychoes finish qualifying, placed in Group 4

Jorge the Amazing Talking Monkey breaks it down for us

Group 4: (Played in Legalese)
#6 Cockbill Street
#8 Squornshelous
#19 Druida
#29 Jeruselem
Average Ranking: 15.5
The second toughest group in this Cup's draw, Squornshelous and Cockbill Street will do battle for the top spot, and I mean battle! This is gonna be a great match. The Pschychoes' recent history against highly ranked teams is good, with defeats of 1st, 6th and 5th ranked teams in WC20, but they can't underestimate their opponent. Druida may make a run at second, but I tend to agree with their assessment, this one's pretty locked up.
Jorge Picks:
Cockbill Street and Squornshelous

Here's what some others have said about Group 4:


Group 4: (Legalese)
Cockbill Street
Squornshelous
Druida
Jeruselem

Druida have been cursing their luck in this draw, but they'll beat out Jeruselem and join Cockbill Street in the knockouts. Squornshelous will be back some other time.



Squornshelous

Past encounters:


Code:
WC11 Qual. Squornshelous 2-0 NEWI Cefn Druids
WC11 Qual. NEWI Cefn Druids 0-0 Squornshelous
WC19 Qual. Squornshelous 3-1 Druida
WC19 Qual. Druida 2-1 Squornshelous
WC19 Squornshelous 1-1 Druida
Jurassic Inv. Squornshelous 3-0 Druida

While seeing Cockbill Street on a fixture list seems good for Druidans, seeing Squornshelous has hte opposite effect. It may have something to do wit hthe fact that the first result on the list above was also the first ever international involving a team from the Druidish Lands. Since then, we've beaten them once, and that was in a meaningless end of qualifying game. A defeat here seems inevitable.


And here are Jorge the Amazing Talking Monkey's predictions for the rest of the groups:
Group 1: Played in Liverpool England
#4 Audioslavia
#9 Crystilakere
#21 Oaker
#36 Wella
Average Ranking: 17.5
There' a big gap between the top two teams and the bottom two. Oaker and Wella just don't have what it takes yet. Hope for a better draw next time guys.
Jorge Picks:
Audioslavia and Cristilakere

Group 2: Played in Liverpool England
#5 Rejistania
#10 Dance 2 Revolution
#12 One Red Dot
#43 Gaian Ascendancy
Average Ranking: 17.5
Rejistania are a shoo in, but the second spot is up for grabs. Expect upstarts Gaian Ascendancy to go winless. The game between D2R and ORD will be the decider.
Jorge Picks:
Rejistania and Dance 2 Revolution

Group 3: Played in Legalese
#39 Legalese [cohost]
#14 Sarzonia
#22 Commerce Heights
# 38 Hiiraan
Average Ranking: 28.25
This Cup's creampuff group is wide open, as usual. Sarzonia looks good to take 1st, but there's no telling whether former champs Commerce Heights can pull it together for the other spot in the second round. I think that homefield advantage will prevail.
Jorge Picks:
Sarzonia and Legalese

Group 5: Played in Vilita
#3 Bedistan
#7 Turori
#23 Tadjikistan
#30 Spurland
Average Ranking: 15.75
Like group one, this one's pretty much decided. Tadjikistan has an outside shot, but these tigers have seen better days.
Jorge Picks:
Bedistan and Turori

Group 6: Played in Liverpool England
#1 Total n Utter Insanity
#18 Svecia
#15 Starblaydia
#24 Krytenia
Average Ranking: 15
The Proverbial Group of Death, with an average rating of 15, which also happens to be the rank of the number two team. TnUI will sweep the group but look for Krytenia, who are the best "fourth seed" in any group, to upset for the second spot.
Jorge Picks:
Total n Utter Insanity and Krytenia

Group 7: Played in Liverpool England
#17 Liverpool England [cohost]
#13 Eauz
#16 The Lowland Clans
#42 Raptor Claw
Average Ranking: 22
Another weak group, it's a dogfight between the top three. LE has homefield advantage, and that will help a lot, but I feel that Eauz just has more experience on this level than their group mates.
Jorge Picks:
Eauz and Liverpool England

Group 8: Played in Vilita
#2 Vilita [cohost]
#11 EL CID THE HERO
#20 Lovisa
#45 Five Civilized Nations
Average Ranking: 19.5
Finally, a host who would have kicked some ass in qualifying. Vilita will cruise through this one on the way to the Rof16, however, look for ECTH, who so rudely upset my favorite team last cup, to slip up here.
Jorge Picks:
Vilita and Lovisa

The Aeropag Tribune—We pwnz0r the patents so you get more text, less fine print!

World Cup: Capitalizts shock ORD to qualify
(80.4 km, π/2), ONE RED DOT—The Commerce Heights Capitalizts handed the One Red Dot Inkblots their first and only non-win of qualifying, ruining their hopes for a perfect record (which Krytenia and Tadjikistan attained) by a margin of 1–0. The only goal came from a penalty kick, caused by an unidentifiable, but completely uncalled for move by ORD player Tangent Point, which was finalized by set pieces taker Young-Chul Yoon. Yoon’s ball was a bit off, about to hit the so-called “woodwork” (actually an advanced TechConGroup metal alloy), when ORD keeper Hermann Rorschach accidentally got in the way. The ball hit him in the head, and as he was falling to the ground, he unintentionally kicked the ball into the goal! Though it made no difference, since ORD was already guaranteed qualifying, and the Capitalizts could have qualified even with a loss, since Sjwitz drew with Pacitalia, Rorschach is still cursed by Inkblots fans everywhere for his “n00bish” mistake. The rest of the match was relatively uneventful.
Commerce Heights 1 (Rorschach OG pen. 26)
One Red Dot 0

—————

Now that the Capitalizts have qualified, they have been drawn into Group 3C (the exact designation is unclear):
Legalese (host)
Sarzonia
Commerce Heights
Hiiraan
Legalese will have home field advantage, but that has done them little good in their previous encounters with the Capitalizts. But rumor has it that they’re a bit stronger now…
Sarzonia is a name infamous throughout the States, and having them in this group can only be bad news. Expect them to finish 1st.
Commerce Heights is a team we’re all plenty familiar with. Expect them to finish 2nd.
Regarding the Hiiraan in order to have the grammar which is honest on the front of our them them do not deliver a news, but it is a team of efficiency. Them are suitable inside the pwnz0r and it is easy. [Ed.: We don’t understand, either!]

Official Groupings

Group Draw

Group A: Played in Liverpool England
Audioslavia
Crystilakere
Oaker
Wella

Group B: Played in Liverpool England
Rejistania
Dance 2 Revolution
One Red Dot
Gaian Ascendancy

Group C: Played in Liverpool England
Liverpool England [cohost]
Eauz
The Lowland Clans
Raptor Claw

Group D: Played in Liverpool England
Cockbill Street
Squornshelous
Druida
Jeruselem

Group E: Played in Vilita
Bedistan
Turori
Tadjikistan
Spurland

Group F: Played in Vilita
Total n Utter Insanity
Svecia
Starblaydia
Krytenia

Group G: Played in Legalese
Legalese [cohost]
Sarzonia
Commerce Heights
Hiiraan

Group H: Played in Vilita
Vilita [cohost]
EL CID THE HERO
Lovisa
Five Civilized Nations

Schedule - all neutral ground:
MD1: 1v2 3v4
MD2: 2v3 1v4
MD3: 1v3 2v4

Official Rankings of qualified teams
Rank Team
1 Total n Utter Insanity
2 Vilita
3 Bedistan
4 Audioslavia
5 Rejistania
6 Cockbill Street
7 Turori
8 Squornshelous
9 Crystilakere
10 Dance 2 Revolution
11 EL CID THE HERO
12 One Red Dot
13 Eauz
14 Sarzonia
15 Starblaydia
16 The Lowland Clans
17 Liverpool England
18 Svecia
19 Druida
20 Lovisa
21 Oaker
22 Commerce Heights
23 Tadjikistan
24 Krytenia
29 Jeruselem
30 Spurland
36 Wella
38 Hiiraan
39 Legalese
42 Raptor Claw
43 Gaian Ascendancy
45 Five Civilized Nations

~ SERAPHIMS QUALIFY ~


Vilita 2 Kylaai 1
Davistand 0 Slaikau 0
Bestiville 0 Gaian Ascendancy 2



Region 11 Pts W D L GF:GA GD
Q. Vilita 28 9 1 0 26:5 21
Q. Gaian Ascendancy 17 4 5 1 14:7 7
3. Slaikau 15 4 3 3 15:7 8
4. Kylaai 15 4 3 3 16:14 2
5. Davistand 5 1 2 7 5:24 -19
6. Bestiville 3 1 0 9 5:24 -19


GANN Sports Desk: ~ The Seraphims will NOT be outside looking in, and NOT be defending their CoH Cup, (unless info tells otherwise..) In a stunning turn of events, the Gaians got EXACTLY what they needed, as was predicted of what was required. The Gaians did their jobs, and got literal provdence in return.

The Seraphims indeed didn't give up and saw the match with Bestiville as a chance to do more than just win a match. For them, 'this' was their Cup final, and they played like as told of after MD9. Ian Andersen and Kelse Howe took command of their respective sides of the field, and Midder replacement Scott Yeh was a rocket with sending balls where needed. The Gaians dominated the field with a terrifying 82.3% rate for the 'whole' match, and it's a wonder it was only 2 - 0 in the end.

Ian Andersen capitalized well into the first period of play and delivered as stunning shot from a beauty kick sent by said Scott Yeh, and drilled one home past the Bestiville Keeper at the 35th minute. For the rest of the half, the Gaians got three more clear chances on goal, more aimed at the Keeper than the Goal, intent on breaking the starting Keeper.

It continued on into the second half, and the Gaians sent home the coffin nail at the 71st minute, after a previous attempt rattled the Bestiville Keeper, as a result, Richard Kreese got the ball from Pryde Tamara, and left the Bestiville Defense in the dust. The rattled Keeper could stop the crisp corner shot from near point blank at the box, and the goal was the signal that the Gaians had done their job.

They even tried to push this advantage, but the Bestiville Keeper was pulled for a less worn down backup, and Bestiville managed to keep from more damage being done. This made the Gaian fan base worried even as they cheered, not knowing the final result of the other two matches, which was kept from the Gaians till 'after' the match to keep them focused.

Then as the Gaians shook hands on Bestiville's pitch with their equals, a staggered hush of the corwd was a head turner for the players themselves. Then the other Group 11 scores were posted, and the final Group standings..

..said plainly, a LOT of people need their vocal chords repaired.

By both fluke, and help, the Vilitans managed to finish off their brilliant run for the Group 11 kudos, by taking down Kylaai 2-1. THEN came the outright shocker of the group qualifiers, as Davistand actually managed Slaikau to a match draw!!!! The latter expected to be a Slaikau 'win', was also expected to be the knife blow to the Gaian's run.

...far from....

"What... what the hell happened?!?!?" Ian Andersen was caught with recording, as the Gaians didn't know 'how' to react. But this soon turned into a 'real' victory celebration, with Seraphim players hugging and jostiling each other well and good.

Some even prayed to the Goddess.

"To be honest, we 'really' didn't expect this. We thought it was over tonight. Heh, don't count ANYthing counted till the scoreboard says so.

...to hell with CoH now." ..Gaian Central Defender Xan Tsgen commented, giving a nearby table a good slap of the.. 'OH YEAH!' ..bit. The Gaians finish in an improbable second place result, and the honor, though also chore, of facing the following..

#5 Rejistania
#10 Dance 2 Revolution
#12 One Red Dot

...the Gaians however learned they got a ranking boost to 43rd in the NS Football World Standings, though they only stand 'not' as the lowest ranked team, only ahead of Five Civilized Nations by two spots. Not exactly an envious prospect.

..but this may play into the Seraphims favor.

"Well, we made it. Got me how, but it's done. 'Now' comes a severe test of what this team is made of, as now we see three teams we've not seen before, and 'just' as good as Vilita is. To be honest, I need a diaper change just thinking about it." ..a joking Coach Kerensky said to mixed reporter reactions. The following made them however feel hopeful of the new Gaian campaign.

"We drew Vilita, and then lost 'barely' to them the second time in these qualifiers. We 'also' took down the previously 16th ranked Melmonds before.. well.. you all know..

...the point is, is that while we are suprised by this result, we are 'not' afraid. We've faced 'just' as long odds, and we 'can' face them down again. Honestly, we probably 'won't' get past this next round, but more over, we'll learn from that, and continue to get stronger.

..but for the others, when we face each one for three match days, they had better know one thing. To get to the next round, they had BETTER earn it by going right through us. We're going to make them earn it so harshly and badly, that they know ince more what it takes to become a championship squad. That desire they had better bring when they face us, should then be the same they take with them to the next knockouts.

We might still be lackys here, but 'we' will dictate how the match results, not be victims to it.

By Goddess, we're going to play hell from heaven into their lives these next few matches. They 'better' be ready, because if they don't..

...this pairing will be a 'real' mess. And who knows. If that happens..

..even the small fry can slip through." ..she put with a devious grin.

And now it comes. Instead of waiting for the CoH, the first 'real' taste of the World Cup comes to the Ascendancy, and 'every' Gaian will be glued to their holo and vidscreens, jumping, hoping, and praying for each kick, tumble, and emotion gutter, as the 'REAL' Gaian campaign begins.

Either way, the Gaians accomplished their mission.

...to improve.

Syku Kansu: Hejida, it is 10 minutes past 8 am, and that means time for sports-update! Our news of the day: in the H1SR, the matches ended with very low scorelines. We can be glad that the karelization of the H1SR works that fine. In our grey divisasi, only In-Jan-Mik Lines scored in the match against Xykianara Ynu-Lines. (pause)
Mesi~nla Taril, president of the club Vaje~n Viki poses the question which teams will advance into the XVSR if total karelization is reached and all matches end scoreless. The ASR did until now not answer. (pause)
Defender Manik Ventu will most likely be sold from Taliki Tihrara'ny to Sen-La-Sa~o Relekhati as soon as the transfer window will open. SLS R as formerly attacking team had much problems with the best tactic ever and need to improve their defense. (pause)
The World Cup groups have been drawn. Rejistania will play their group stage matches in Liverpool England. The Orange-Blues will play against Dance 2 Revolution in a re-match of the final of WC17 and the quarter-final of WC18, One Red Dot, which have a bad tendency to defeat the Orange-Blues and Cup of Harmony winners Gaian Ascendancy. Coach Hexatux commented the group draw like this:
Hexatux: *bleep* (pause) *bleeeeeeep* (pause) *bleep*
Syku Kansu: Siki Rej called it an interesting group, but did not want to comment on the chances of the Orange-Blues there.
Mjinen: Sari~lki Ines defeated Xakata Veran in the vinali titkra with 7 hykit'ny and 3 xeseisi'ny against 3 hykit'ny and 10 xeseisi'ny

Post-group stage draw

Liverpool England Region:
M1 Group B Winner-Group A 2nd

M2 Group D Winner-Group B 2nd

M3 Group A Winner-Group C 2nd

M4 Group C Winner-Group D 2nd

Atlantian Oceania Region:
M5 Group F Winner-Group E 2nd

M6 Group E Winner-Group H 2nd

M7 Group H Winner-Group G 2nd

M8 Group G Winner-Group F 2nd

Quarterfinals:
Q1 - M1 Winner v M4 Winner
Q2 - M2 Winner v M3 Winner
Q3 - M5 Winner v M7 Winner
Q4 - M6 Winner v M8 Winner

Semi Finals:
S1 - Q1 Winner v Q2 Winner
S2 - Q3 Winner v Q4 Winner

Finals:
F1 - S1 Winner v S2 Winner (Liverpool England's National Stadium)
F2 - S1 Loser v S2 Loser

thsd:NEWS
VILITA COVE EDITION

F-ing Hell

SO, Krytenia qualified with a 100% record, and put themselves up to twenty-fourth in the KPB Rankings. Their reward? Fourth seeding, and exclusive entry into the Group O' Death*™. Let's look at the opponents, shall we?

TOTAL N UTTER INSANITY (Seeded 1st, KPB Rank #1)
Probably the best team in the world. Should qualify with at least seven points; the Caleys will play them last.
PREDICTION: TUI 2-0 KRY

SVECIA (Seeded 2nd, KPB Rank #18)
Haven't we met before? Yes, it's the same Svecia we took six points off in the qualifiers. More of the same? Probably not, but this could be a crucial game.
PREDICTION: SVE 1-1 KRY

STARBLAYDIA (Seeded 3rd, KPB Rank #15)
Five reasons Starblaydia should lose this one:
1) Mauve*? What sort of football team plays in MAUVE*?!?!?
2) We're looking for revenge for the WCXIX qualifiers.
3) We're looking for revenge for the AOCAF VII final.
4) We're not exactly gonna beat them at ice hockey, are we?
5) MAUVE*?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
PREDICTION: STB 0-7 KRY

It's the Men In Mauve* first. Cross your fingers, ready your THSD Special Edition Violet Voodoo Dolls (patent applied for), aim the sniper rifles, and ready the Fatwah, just in case.

WWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

*[OOC] Yes, I am aware the home shirts are white.

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/ttov.gif


Vilkaous Announces Finals Squad
Afrikka to compete in last World Cup Finals


-----------------------Vilita Jungle Cats Head Coach Helmut Vilkaous has today announced the final list of players who will hopefully return the Jungle Cats to World Cup Glory. While Vilita has been mocked by other nations regarding their inability to maintain balances with so called "RL" factors of the sport, Vilkaus makes a hard note that despite all of these other nations pretending to be so true to the "RL" guidlines, not a single one follows proper roster orders. In no World Cup Qualifying competition is any nation required to set a permanent, cut down roster of the players they wish to use during the competition. World Cup Qualifiers are a rolling competition, and players may be called up or left out as much as the coach pleases, usually calling up a set of players for a 2-game span, then an altered set for the next 2 game span and so on. Yet still, many nations insist on cutting down their roster before World Cup Qualifying, giving no new players a chance to test themselves in international competition.

-----------------------"Well, I can't really complain about it" Vilkaus said, "I mean, really they are only hurting themselves. They don't have to name their 23 players and stick with them throughout all of qualifying, and I really have no idea why anyone would do that. Especially with the lack of quality in a lot of these qualifying groups. Qualifying, for me, is a great chance to see if some of the younger or out of the loop players can compete with the regulars and maybe break into the squad. Then, after qualifying, I'll make my final choices for my 23 man roster, just like those "RL" nationss that everyone keeps talking about do."

-----------------------Amongst the players Vilkaus has tabbed for Vilita's World Cup 22 roster is 34 year old Yeaddin Owls Defender Jaloey Afrikka. Afrikka has long been one of Helmut Vilkaous' first choice Central Defenders, and now the Jlinal-born player his hanging up his boots, but not before one last crack at the finals.

-----------------------"It's been great, I've had a lot of fun playing with the guys over the years here on the International stage and in the World Cup. I've made a lot of good friends out here, I mean, I've spent so long playing alongside Ricky Ezis that the guy asked me to be the best man at his wedding. We've been great friends over the years after Ricky was first called up to the national team as a 17 year old, and now that we both play for Yeaddin Owls, we've got houses accross the street from each other!" Afrikka continued, "It's definately something I'm going to miss, and I may even come back again if the gaffer asked me, but I think It would be nice to take it down a notch, at least for a while, and do some of those family things back at home"



GOALKEEPERS:

[ 85 ] Jimmy Kater [ - Strike FC - ]
------- GK ( AGE: 30 GOALS::SR: U21: REG: )
Jimmy Kater took over the starting position on the National Team under the intense spotlight of the World Cup 17 Finals in Vilita. Kater has remained first choice keeper since then, despite a Quarter Final exit to Liverpool England. After leading the Vilita Under-21's to the Under-21 World Cup 7 Championship, Kater left a deflating Tivali City to join up-and-comers Arcticala Inlet, who he led to the top half of the Stellar Division tables. Kater earned a pair of consecutive Vilitan Cup titles with Arcticala Inlet, before returning to Strike FC ater the departure of Bryan 'Pop' Duiker

[ 86 ] Delain Falcón [ - Yeaddin Owls AFC - ]
------- GK ( AGE: 27 GOALS::SR: U21: REG: )
Falcon signed for Vilita Declasse side Akisa Surta midway through Vilitan Season 9, joining the club in a promotion battle. He is the first ever recognized international from Akisa Surta, And has large shoes to fill in defending Vilita's Under 21 Championship earned by National Hero Jimmy Kater. He took a further step in filling Kater's shoes by joining his former team, Stellar Division side Tivali City in Season 11.

DEFENDERS:

[ 6 ] Ricky Ezis [ - Yeaddin Owls AFC - ]
------- D RC ( AGE: 30 GOALS::SR: 3 U21: 1 REG: 1 )
Ricky Ezis is one of the most exciting prospects in all of Vilita, being molded in the exact form of the most capped Vilitan player in history, Enzo Ahat. The Strike FC defender plays alongside former Vilitan Nationals Danilo Liguori and David Leacock in the Stellar Division and frequently outshines his more experienced teammates. His performances have consistently earned him selection to the National team in favor of this duo, and Arcticala Inlet's Emarka Laniora. Ricky transferrd to Yeaddin Owls in Season 14 and helped lead them to the Stellar Division Championship.

[ 8 ] Niccoló Mazzeo [ - Inland Peaks FC - ]
------- D LC ( AGE: 24 GOALS::SR: 0 U21: 3 REG: 0 )
Niccoló Mazzeo earned a favorable report from Vilitan Coach Helmut Vilkaus and was tapped to replace Esemar Aliana upon his retirement from International Play.

[ 9 ] Andrea Lamberti [ - Jlinal Cove FC - ]
------- D LC ( AGE: 24 GOALS::SR: U21: REG: )
Lamberti became the youngest player to ever feature for the first team at Arcticala Inlet and has been tipped as the next Giacomo Adika after a high profile transfer to Nusira-Lionta following Vilitan Season 9. At just 17 years old, looked set to be a regular in the Vilitan starting lineup following the semi-retirement of Adika and Enzo Ahat. However, a widely-publicized screw up in World Cup 19 cost Lamberti his position at Nusira Lionta, and he moved to Jlinal Cove.

[ 67 ] Ade Hinds [ - Eastal Lunar - ]
------- D LC ( AGE: 21 GOALS::SR: U21: REG: )
Ade Hinds transferred to Turoki Isle for Vilitan Season 14 after the Islanders made a surprise shift towards Vilitan based talent, offloading foreigners Alejandro Vantrease and Henrik Bastale

[ 3 ] Jaloey Afrikka [ - Yeaddin Owls AFC - ]
------- D LC ( AGE: 34 GOALS::SR: 0 U21: 1 REG: 1 )
Jaloey Afrikka is one of the quiet talents in the Vilita lineup. A regular in the team since graduating from the Under-21 side, Jaloey is always in the roster somewhere, either starting or on the bench, when the Vilitan teamsheet is announced. With the retirement of Vilitan defensive legends Giacomo Adika and Enzo Ahat, Afrikka finds himself as first-choice Central Defender for the World Cup 19 Finals. Afrikka will have added confidence after returning home to Jlinal Cove FC, the club where he got his start, after a stint in the Stellar Division with Turoki Isle and Strike FC. The well travelled Afrikka isone of few players known to have featured for the Vilitan Trio, after signing with Yeaddin Owls, Afrikka featured for Strike FC and Marine Coast United in addition to a host of other teams throughout his career. Afrikka has announced his retirement following World Cup 22.

[ 63 ] Dene Shaw [ - Lopinka - ]
------- D LC ( AGE: 20 GOALS::SR: U21: REG: )
Dene Shaw was the first player to ever receive international recognition from Turoki United after being called the the Under 21 squad in Under 21 World Cup 12. However, Turoki United's failure to promote from the Declasse division saw Shaw ultimately leave the club, as his stock rose so did his ego and there was no better place for his ego than Lopinka Rovers, controlled by Liverpool England's Doug Freech, newly promoted in Season 16 to the Stellar Division

DEFENSIVE MID:

[ 34 ] Daniel Oram [ - Yeaddin Owls AFC - ]
------- DM C ( AGE: 22 GOALS::SR: 2 U21: 0 REG: 0 )
Oram made one of the most predictable transfers in season 15, covering the gaping defensive midfield spot at the Yeaddin Owls after attracting attention by being called to the Under-21 Squad and being named captain while playing for Non-League Alikki-Corra

[ 31 ] Christian Sanou [ - Eastal Lunar - ]
------- D DM RC ( AGE: 26 GOALS::SR: 1 U21: 2 REG: 0 )
A star out of place in his lowly club side, Sanou is leading the new crop of Defensive Midfielders being trained under Vilitan legend Jurgen Ramzi. Ramzi was recruited by Jlinal Cove FC after their relegation to the Declasse Division of the Vilitan Football Pyramid, and since has introduced a wealth of Defensive Midfield talent to Vilitan head coach Helmut Vilkaus. Under-21 International Sanou has risen from absolutely nowhere under Ramzi's leadership to bypass Liverpool England based Antonis Ratuva and Corra Rangers' Lai Otieno to challenge Ramzi himself for his place in the starting lineup for World Cup 19. Sanou established himself in the Vilitan squad, and earned himself a transfer in Season 16 to Vilita Cup 15 winners Eastal Lunar, after many seasons at Jlinal Cove.

[ 35 ] Mauro Capuano [ - Eastal Lunar - ]
------- DM C ( AGE: 24 GOALS::SR: 0 U21: 2 REG: 0 )



MIDFIELDERS:

[ 14 ] Inaki Soler [ - Inland Peaks FC - ]
------- AM RLC ( AGE: 27 GOALS::SR: 8 U21: 9 REG: 1 )
Inaki Soler may be the greatest Vilitan talent since Santo Kecker graced the Vilitan history books with the first ever game-winning Vilitan goal against Compound Interest in World Cup 13 Qualifying. Despite a lack of goals so far in his senior career, a high profile-record transfer to the ever-improving Yeaddin Owls AFC was sure to do nothing but improve his chances of keeping his place in the Vilita side. With Helmut Vilkaus announcing an emphasis on Wings in the coming years, many expect Soler to breakthrough and take his place as the first-choice Vilitan midfielder. However, Soler left the Owls with friend Antonis Siazzu during the Season 12 Exodus to train independantly and focus on international play. After starting the first half of Season 13 with Alikki-Corra, Soler returned to Yeaddin Owls and sparked a resurretion that saw the Owls catch and pass Strike FC to earn their 10th Stellar Division title. But Once again, Soler showed an uncanny unpredictability, by ditching newly acquired friend Antonis Siazzu, and the Yeaddin faithful, after they failed to secure the championship in Season 15. Soler was talked into joining Inland Peaks FC by former Yeaddin teammate Riccardo Appolloni, and as his contract ran out with Yeaddin, Soler once again refused to resign and walked into a new and questionable chapter in his very fascinating domestic career.

[ 20 ] Antonis Siazzu [ - Yeaddin Owls AFC - ]
------- AM C ( AGE: 24 GOALS::SR: 5 U21: 7 REG: 0 )
Siazzu is a product of the Yeaddin Owls youth academy, moving on a fully funded loan deal to Melmondian side Titania Forests during the World Cup 19 Qualifiers. The impressive youth midfielder is one of the youngest since World Cup 13 to make a regular starting role in the Senior National Team, taking up the role during World Cup 19 Qualifiers at just 17 years of age. Working under Coach Nigel Chapman, Siazzu was apart of arguably the best midfield lineup in the entire World, taking up a central role alongside Calaesa Mitaroka, with the phenominal Inaki Soler and the always reliable Tanner Nerni on either side. However, Siazzu and Soler left the Owls during the Season 12 Exodus to train independantly and focus on international play. However, after failing to achieve promotion with Alikki-Corra in Season 13, the price on Siazzu's head was to much for the Declasse side to pass up, with the exciting young midfielder moving to Arcticala Inlet for a fee almost double that of the previous record for a Vilitan club. Arcticala failed to press for the Stellar Division title, despite 4 consecutive appearances in the Vilitan Cup final, and Siazzu returned to partner old friend Inaki Soler at Yeaddin Owls AFC In Season 16 for a fee much reduced from the fee Inlet paid to acquire him from Alikki-Corra.

[ 26 ] Maurizio Sala [ - Marine Coast United - ]
------- M RC ( AGE: 26 GOALS::SR: 0 U21: 5 REG: 0 )
The former Tivali City youth trainee transferred to Nusira Lionta from Marine Coast during Vilitan season 9 in an attempt to get regular first team action. Sala was left with just 10 starts in two seasons with Marine Coast before being transferred to Turoki Isle, where he learned his trade as a free kick specialist. After some impressive performances, Sala returned to Marine Coast in Season 13

[ 51 ] Jonjo Hulyer [ - Marine Coast United - ]
------- M LC ( AGE: 20 GOALS::SR: 2 U21: 0 REG: 0 )
Jonjo Hulyer is one of the most exciting prospects to come out of the Marine Coast academy in many seasons. He is expected to challenge for a place in the Marine Coast Lineup at just 16 years of age, Preferring to attack down the middle or on the left flank.

[ 23 ] Tanner Nerni [ - Eastal Lunar - ]
------- M RC ( AGE: 31 GOALS::SR: 5 U21: 6 REG: 3 )
The Impressive Wing Midifleder, born & raised in Turori by Vilitan parents, saw his first international action in the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football. Nerni's performances at a young age in the AOCAF Cup and for Cednia Beach AFC in Turori earned him what was a then-record transfer to high-flying Yeaddin Owls AFC, a fee still only twice eclipsed, both in Vilitan Season 10. Nerni, however, seemed to have never made the impact on the National Stage, as is the case with many of the Owls stars, who seem to save their best performances for the league and never walk too far from the bench when the Teal, Orange and Navy are in action. That is, until the World Cup 20 final. It was Nerni's penetrating runs down the right flank that eventually earned Vilita the World Cup for the first time, Nerni scoring the winning goal and becoming the hottest commodity in sport. Eventually, Eastal Lunar tendered an offer no club could refuse, and Nerni was off to his new club for an all-time record Vilitan transfer.

[ 27 ] Jacques Vintila [ - Arcticala Inlet - ]
------- AM C ( AGE: 30 GOALS::SR: 0 U21: 1 REG: 0 )
Once tipped to change the face of Vilitan Sport, the Cednia, Turori born player made his move to the Stellar Division when signing for Jlinal Cove FC. Vintilla impressed at the Cove despite their relegation in his first season, but has cooled off recently. Vintila is the rarity at Jlinal Cove, the only Attacking Midfielder on record at Jurgen Ramzi's defensive-minded work house, but his attacking prowess has yet been able to see Jlinal Cove back to the Stellar Division

[ 54 ] Manolis Makunike [ - Arcticala Inlet - ]
------- M RC ( AGE: 24 GOALS::SR: 0 U21: 3 REG: 0 )


[ 52 ] Thierry Columbo [ - Makosile - ]
------- M LC ( AGE: 23 GOALS::SR: 2 U21: 2 REG: 0 )
Columbo left Lonngeylin Coast in search of first team action with Declasse side Mavaloiao FC. Columbo was an instant hit at the club, and helped lead them to the Declasse Division title and a place in the Stellar Division starting in Season 14.

FORWARDS:

[ 16 ] Callum Banda [ - Marine Coast United - ]
------- F C ( AGE: 37 GOALS::SR: 64 U21: 6 REG: 1 )
Sensational Striker averaging over a goal per game in the U21's remarkable Runner-Up performances in U21 WC3. First Appeared for the National team in World Cup 13 and scored the Jungle Cats first ever goal in Inter-NationStatal Competition in the 2-1 over Compound Interest. Banda set a Vilitan record by scoring 10 times during World Cup 19 Qualifying, includding his 50th career goal, both in all international competitions, and his 50th Senior-National tally with the equalizer against Tadjikistan. Banda capped off a sensational season by winning his first Vilitan Most Valuable Player award. Banda netted his 196th career Domestic goal for Marine Coast United as he helped return his long-time club to the top of the Stellar Division in Season 15.

[ 19 ] Riccardo Appolloni [ - Inland Peaks FC - ]
------- F C ( AGE: 27 GOALS::SR: 7 U21: 13 REG: 0 )
Riccardo Appolloni came through the youth ranks at Mavaloio before transferring to Yeaddin Owls AFC and quickly displacing Jan Christiansen from his role as first choice striker. Appolloni also one-upped Christiansen by earning a regular role in the Vilitan National team, something Christiansen was never able to do. The third largest transfer in Vilitan History at the time saw Appolloni depart his beloved Owls for up-and-coming Inland Peaks FC. The Peaks used the transfer income from the sale of Ade Hinds, Martin Watt, Aman Dedur and mostly Under-21 forward Kris Wrice to sign the Vilitan International, signalling their intentions to be respected as a top class team in Vilita for seasons to come.

[ 17 ] Mauro Baraza [ - Eastal Lunar - ]
------- F C ( AGE: 29 GOALS::SR: 4 U21: 10 REG: 9 )
Mauro Baraza looked to be a player of the future for Vilita after setting records for goalscoring in the Under-21's. However, he could never break through and displace Callum Banda or Serge DuPont and has slipped down the picking order.

[ 47 ] Ippolit Adjei [ - Marine Coast United - ]
------- F C ( AGE: 24 GOALS::SR: 0 U21: 5 REG: 1 )
Adjei moved to Arcticala Inlet during the Yeaddin Exodus following Season 12, the first in history that Yeaddin were not in the top 2. Adjei won many awards with Arcticala Inlet, but never the Stellar Division title, and he was recruited in Season 16 to the defending Stellar Division champions Marine Coast United for a fee half that of the Vilitan Record transfer at the time.

[ 49 ] Tika Massa [ - Makosile - ]
------- F C ( AGE: 18 GOALS::SR: 1 U21: 3 REG: 0 )
Tika Massa was thrust into the Vilitan Spotlight after netting on his debut performance in the Jurassic Invitational Tournament after coming on as a sub. Massa's late goal sent Vilita into the Semi Finals of the inagural Jurassic competition. Massa's performances earned him a transfer to the admitedly more high profile club of Eastal Lunar, from Makosile where he trained as a youth. Massa was an instant hit at Eastal lunar netting 7 times in 18 games and helping them to the Season 15 Vilitan Cup title.


-----------------------As for the rest of the lineup, there are no real surprises in the goalkeeping deparment where Strike FC's Jimmy Kater retains his place and is likely to be the number one choice throughout the finals for Helmut Vilkauos and Vilita. Delain Falcon, despite winning the NS Champions League title with the Yeaddin Owls, will likely serve as Kater's backup. 20 year old Dene Shaw will get a chance at his first appearance in the World Cup Finals, being one of a pair of surprise youth call-ups to the side after his performance during a handful of outings in qualifying opened Helmut Vilkaous' eyes to the potential the young Lopinka defender could have in the future.

-----------------------Yeaddin Owls success in the Champions League is likely to pay dividends for at least one Owls, Daniel Oram, who looks likely to replace Christian Sanou as first choice Defensive Midfielder. Mauro Capuano, the 24 year old teammate of Sanou's, will train with the team but not see any action during the finals. The rivalry of the most recent Vilitan Season will take center stage when the Vilitan Midfield comes through, with Yeaddin's Daniel Oram already slately to play in the role behind the 4 midfielders, there is likely to be a split of 2 Yeaddin Owls rivals and two Marine Coast United rivals when Vilita step out for their opening World Cup 22 finals match. Inaki Soler, former Yeaddin Owls player and known nemesis of all in Crosaibi will likely be set up on the right wing, while Marine Coast United's set piece specialist Maurizio Sala will be positioned alongside Soler in the center of midfield. Yeaddin's Antonis Siazzu will play a more attacking role in the center of midfield, while Vilkaous will be looking towards 20 year old Marine Coast United phenom Jonjo Hulyer to solve his problems down the left wing.

-----------------------Serge DuPont has been left out of the squad for the finals and taken up the position as head coach of the regional team where he will also participate in AOCAF VIII. Callum Banda, the all time leading scorer in Vilita will maintain his starting role. The 37 year old Life-Long Marine Coast United player will be partnered by Inland Peaks' Riccardo Appolloni. 18 year old Makosile foward Tika Massa has also received a call into the team. The young starlet's impressive pace has caught the eye of Vilkaous and will likely see action in the match against Five Civilized Nations.

http://www.geocities.com/lifeobrien/bull.txt
The Road To Liverpool England

With Audioslavia qualified and awaiting Crystilakere, Oaker and Wella in the first round, Bob McFogharty takes a look back at Audioslavia's 'slaves and their performances over the past year.

The 'slaves would start their world cup qualifying campaign against two relatively unknowns. Black Yellow weren't expected to be much cop, and they were duly brushed aside 2-0, before the 'slaves hammered home five goals against Rittarstan.

So far so good, but then came Chicanda, whom many pundits were expecting to be bananskins. They weren't wrong, as the Chicandese took an early lead against the 'slaves and held on to give Audioslavia a rare defeat at home.

Rattled but stil standing, the 'slaves recouperated enough in time for the Wella game. Surviving a few scares early on, Audioslavia held on and won the game with two second half Hellstrom strikes.

Next up came the biggie, a mouthwatering away game against neighbours The Belmore Family. Many were expecting a close encounter desite TBF's shocking form, but the 'slaves had no trouble in trouncing the Belmores on their own turf. Hellstrom was there again with another brace, with Dvorak and Torrini netting the other two.

Four wins from five games, the 'slaves were on top and getting more confident by the game. The return matches against Black Yellow and Rittarstan were both won, before the 'slaves, on the crest of a wave, travelled to Chicanda in an attempt to avenge their earlier defeat. Hellstrom got his ninth and tenth goals of the campaign as the 'slaves surged into a two-goal lead before half-time. Pierre Cesare's header made it three before Alec Bull tapped home number four, ten minutes from time.

As good as qualified, the next two games were less important for the 'slaves, but they still found time to go to Wella and beat them 2-0, as well as hosting a very tired and very sorry looking Belmore Family side who were administered a beating of the same magnitude.

Region 7 Pts W D L GF:GA GD
Q. Audioslavia 27 9 0 1 24:2 22
Q. Wella 20 6 2 2 15:9 6
3. Chicanada 14 4 2 4 12:12 0
4. Rittarstan 11 3 2 5 5:13 -8
5. The Belmore Family 9 1 6 3 5:9 -4
6. Black Yellow 2 0 2 8 3:19 -16

10 games played with just two goals conceded, the 'slaves can feel confident going into World Cup 22. Their group contains three very recognisable colours:

CRYSTILAKERE
Ah, where would we be without Crystilakere? We'd be polishing in our trophy room more often with a tub of duraglit, thats where. No one in Audioslavia has forgotten the World Cup 19 final where the 'slaves threw away the greatest chance they'd ever had of winning the world cup.

OAKER
The Oaker Sharks have never proved easy opposition for Audioslavia. Last time out the Sharks beat the 'Slaves by two goals to one in the last match of the first round, whilst back in World Cup 16 they held Audioslavia to a 3-3 draw. The 'slaves have been the victors in the two other matches the sides have played, winning 2-0 and 3-1 in the qualifying competition for World Cup 18.

WELLA
Very recent foes, the 'slaves twice beat Wella 2-0 in qualifying for this tournament. In addition to that, the 'slaves beat them by another 2-0 scoreline in WC20 qualifying before beating them 4-2 in the away leg. We'd hope that the 'slaves can record another two-goal win when the two sides meet next.

Insanicians, AO over-acheivers and a Scandinavian team with 'V' in the name
Starblaydia Get WC21 Deja-vu

Four years ago, in Lethislavania, Starblaydia faced Total n Utter Isanity, South Osettia and Lovisa. Now it's Total n Utter Insanity, Krytenia and Svecia.

Starblaydia's Matchday Schedule
Starblaydia - Krytenia
Svecia - Starblaydia
Total n Utter Insanity - Starblaydia

Matchday One: Krytenia (23)

Starblaydia will certainly not be afraid of Krytenia in any way, shape or form, though they may be hindered on the field itself by the intense laughter Krytenia's play is sure to provoke. Anything less than three points from this match would severely dent Starblaydia's chances of progression to the Second Round.

Matchday Two: Svecia (18)

Somehow Starblaydia have a higher world ranking than Svecia, but the Svecians are considered the second-seeds in this group, with Starblaydia obviously not being the favourites. How this strange state of affairs will end up, however, is beyond this reporter's ability to call.

Matchday Three: Total n Utter Insanity (1)

The best team in the world, who co-incidently lost their latest match to Starblaydi-wannabes Nova Britannicus, are the team to beat in this Cup, let alone in this Group. If one team in the group can stop the Insanicians from gaining three wins, its Starblaydia on Matchday Three.

Druidan
Sports
Review

WCXXII PREVIEW

One thing we've noticed here in Druida is that there's no Melmond to give the most in-depth review of every team in the competition and a scarily accurate prediction of who the winner will be. Of course, scarily accurate apart from the time they predicted NEWI Cefn Druids to win. Like, they must've been crazy!

So all the bigwigs of the Druidan media have put their heads together to give the best guess at what's going to happen. Of course, that's not really very much help. Have you ever seen the reporters at the Daily Muck? Jeez. Anyway, let's get on with it.


Group A
Audioslavia [4]
Crystilakere [9]
Oaker [21]
Wella [36]

Well, this one seems quite easy to pick, but scratch under the surface, and you'll see that it isn't quite the case. Audioslavia should make it through easily, but while Crystilakere may look like certainties to join them, Oaker have been building up again after bursting on the scene a while back, then fading away. Don't bet against them upsetting one of the big two here. Wella might scrape a point. If they're lucky.
Going through: Audioslavia, Oaker.


Group B
Rejistania [5]
Dance 2 Revolution [10]
One Red Dot [12]
Gaian Ascendancy [43]

Rejistania, as usual, will be the class act of the group, maybe not really running away with it, but maybe just strolling. Of the other two expected contenders? Dance 2 Revolution and One Red Dot seemingly have nothing between them. Indeed, it could just be Gaian Ascendancy who pip them both at the post and continue their, er, ascendancy (ahem...).
Going through: Rejistania, Gaian Ascendancy.


Group C
Liverpool England [cohost, 17]
Eauz [13]
The Lowland Clans [16]
Raptor Claw [42]

If not now, then when will Liverpool England be able to recapture the glory days? In front of their own fans at last, they can't fail to disappoint. Of the rest, it is Eauz who catch the eye the most, but only as the best of a bad bunch. However, The Lowland Clans, Druida's neighbours, could well spring a surprise. They've just been lurking in the background recently, this could be a surprise. Raptor Claw are only here because Melmond weren't in their group. Expect the luck to run out here.
Going through: Liverpool England, The Lowland Clans.


Group D
Cockbill Street [6]
Squornshelous [8]
Druida [19]
Jeruselem [29]

We've looked at this group from the Druida's perspective already, and said that we don't think that they'll have enough to get through. Consider also that Jeruselem have been trying for as long as I can remember and still flatter to deceive. And so, by default, Squornshelous will follow Cockbill Street through.
Going through: Cockbill Street, Squornshelous.


Group E
Bedistan [3]
Turori [7]
Tadjikistan [23]
Spurland [30]

Something we've noticed down the years is that sides who soar through qualifying often run out of steam by the time they reach the finals. For that reason alone, we fear that Tadjikistan's run might be coming to an end here. However, another look shows they are playing defending champs Bedistan, who they beat twice in qualifying, and Turori, who we've never been all that keen on. For those two reasons alone, they could just keep it up. Spurland just lack a bit of the big match mentality needed.
Going through: Tadjikistan, Bedistan.


Group F
Total n Utter Insanity [1]
Svecia [18]
Starblaydia [15]
Krytenia [24]

Unfortunately, Krytenia don't seem to have the same omens the Tigers have in Group E. Every 100% team has to lose sometime, even if it is to a team in mauve. They should just think themselves lucky they aren't playing Druida in one of their gorgeous away kits (Er, yeah). Total n Utter Insanity always get past this stage, and this time'll be no exception. Svecia, despite being around since the dawn of time, still don't have the cutting edge a team needs, and that's why they'll be edged out, but only just, by Starblaydia.
Going through: Total n Utter Insanity, Starblaydia.


Group G
Legalese [cohost, 39]
Sarzonia [14]
Commerce Heights [22]
Hiiraan [38]

After a dodgy start in qualifying, Sarzonia have been on a run ever since beating our beloved rainbows. Expect it to continue against this lot. Of the rest, Commerce Heights haven't set the world alight recently, Legalese only got through because of a clerical error somewhere that says they should be a cohost, despite not actually playing host to anything other than this group. Hiiraan have been quiet of late. Which really is saying something.
Going through: Sarzonia, Commerce Heights.


Group H
Vilita [cohost, 2]
EL CID THE HERO [11]
Lovisa [20]
Five Civilized Nations [45]

If Vilita don't make it through this one, then there really is something up somewhere. Elsewhere, we have EL CID THE HERO, a team that have gradually climbed the rankings over the last 50 years from being absolutely useless to one of the best outfits around. However, their only problem could be that they're not facing a Druid team this time, so victory is not guarenteed. However, Lovisa have been loitering for a bit, and will continue to do so here, while Five Civilized Nations, after years of promise, have qualified when people have least expected them to. Even less people expect them to go any further.
Going through: Vilita, EL CID THE HERO.


And so on to the rest of the cup...


Second round

Rejistania over Oaker
Cockbill Street over Dance 2 Revolution
Audioslavia over The Lowland Clans
Liverpool England over Squornshelous
Bedistan over Total n Utter Insanity
EL CID THE HERO over Tadjikistan
Vilita over Commerce Heights
Sarzonia over Starblaydia


Quarter-finals

Liverpool England over Rejistania
Cockbill Street over Audioslavia
Vilita over Bedistan
Sarzonia over EL CID THE HERO


Semi-finals

Cockbill Street over Liverpool England
Vilita over Sarzonia


Third/Fourth Place Match

Sarzonia over Liverpool England


World Cup XXII Final

Cockbill Street over Vilita



So, the Druidan media think that Cockbill Street's new attacking style they discovered at World Cup 21 can help them that final step to actually win this one outright. Of course, this is just a crazy prediction, inspired by those epic writers in Melmond. Remember, they actually got it right sometimes. Though we did recommend Crystilakere for World Cup 19, but that prediction was made at the quarter-final stage. Really, it's good luck to everyone, and may the best team win. (Especially if it turns out to be Druida!)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Meanwhile...

Dave: "We got them! We've landed in Jhanna, where are you?"

Nikola: "Vilita. That's where the World Cup is."

Dave: "Oh. Don't worry, they'll sleep until we get there. We'll refuel and get them there for the Krytenia game. You got the WCC computer game?"

Nikola: "Yup."

Dave: "Great. Sorted."

Stars fans get their wish

Before the start of World Cup qualifying, the Sarzonian national team's top assistant coach was tapped as the new field boss for the Legalese Black and Red. Barry Owens was named head coach for Legalese with a mission to rejuvenate a team that had been a consistent also ran and contender for Cup of Harmony titles.

With the two sides not playing each other in World Cup qualifying and Legalese never having qualified for the World Cup Finals, it looked like a stretch that the two sides would meet on the field, but with Legalese taking over as a host due to an emergency situation in South Osettia, the Black and Red were given a bid to the Finals. Since then, the group draw put the Black and Red and the Stars in Group G. Based on rankings, the Stars and the Black and Red will face each other in the opener.

"That's definitely a tough way to get started," Coach Dave Wilson said. "Barry was my right hand man for a long time, since the Cup of Harmony after World Cup XVII. To not have a man I relied on as a fellow coach and as a friend by my side for the first time, it was difficult. I had a comfort level with Barry."

Early on, it looked like the Stars had trouble adjusting to the quieter style of new top assistant Chris Trautwig, who isn't nearly as confrontational as Owens is with the team. The Stars earned a goalless draw against Spirit Nation, the last rated team in Group 8, and lost 1-0 to Spaam at Hendrix Stadium in Woodstock. With Owens no longer around to play bad cop, Wilson had to take matters into his own hands.

"That's one of the adjustments I've had to make," Wilson said. "Usually, Barry's the one who could get in there and make 'em go running to me. It's not that I was ever a wallflower, but I had to take on even more of the martinet's role with Barry gone."

The team obviously responded, winning its last six matches in World Cup qualifying, all by clean sheet. Goalkeeper Horace Sandt's consecutive scoreless minutes streak now stands at 588 minutes, a national record.

The Stars are particularly concerned that Owens will use his inside knowledge of their strengths and weaknesses to craft tactics that will help them start out with an upset in front of their home side. However, Wilson is even more concerned about the team's recent history against Legalese.

"Yes, we're concerned about Barry knowing us all inside and out," Wilson said. "But Legalese has a tie and a win in their last two matches against us after we put a streak together on them. And we're near the scene of 'that game.'

That Game, as Wilson referred to it, is the first-ever meeting between Sarzonia and Legalese, during World Cup XVIII qualifying, that many observers point to as the cause of their elimination from the World Cup finals. The 5-2 loss in Francis Town angered the Stars and their supporters and started an intense rivalry that grew with each of the four matches the two teams played in that World Cup season. Adding Owens to the Black and Red has the potential to intensify matters even more, according to former national team captain and current forward Brian Wilson.

"I'm sure he's going to play to our hatred of them," Brian Wilson said. "He's going to play it up but good."

Raptors Better than you think

Raptor Claw have finally going to be back in the World Cup Final round once again. Some other nation (Druida) say that Raptor Claw only in the Final from Melmond. It was Raptor Claw who won on matchday two when they played Melmond before the team left. The group had only 5 team to play after no more Melmond. Raptor Claw was best of all time in World Cup 22 Qualifying because only two games were lost. Crystilakere won over Raptor Claw 2-0 in the two game they play. Raptor Claw win over Haperd and Melmond and Oglethorpia and Piquantrax every single game. Raptor Claw won the last game 5-1 which is very good news for the Final round.

In the Final round Raptor Claw will play Liverpool England who host the World Cup and also will play The Lowland Clans and Eauz. They do not think Raptor Claw will do good but hope they will be wrong

Haperd 0 Raptor Claw 1
Raptor Claw 3:2 Melmond
Crystilakere 2:0 Raptor Claw
Piquantrax 1 Raptor Claw 2
Raptor Claw 2 Oglethorpia 0
Raptor Claw 2 Haperd 1
Raptor Claw 0 Crystilakere 2
Raptor Claw 2 Piquantrax 1
Oglethorpia 1 Raptor Claw 5

Street Set For First-Round Exit
DSR predicts us to win the whole shebang

Cockbill Street have been predicted to win the World Cup before - by Melmond sports reporters high on LSD, probably. Now, the Druidan Sports Review, remarkable for being even more inconsistent in its sports reports than the C-mail, has predicted the Street to win the whole shebang - beating Dance 2 Revolution, Audioslavia (are you mad?! We never beat them), Liverpool England (see Audioslavia) and Vilita on the way.

At the C-mail, we're guessing it's all psychological warfare, creating overconfidence so that the Streetian team will go down to Druida in the group stages - and then lose to Squornshelous, so that they'll bow out in the first round like normal.

Face it. We're still tripe.

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football

Uh, this isn't good

ALIKKI-CORRA, Vilita -- The group draw for World Cup 22 has been released to the public, and Bedistan has been drawn into Group E, which will play its matches in Vilita. But although the Bedistan Lions are the defending World Cup champions, ranked third in the world, and first seed in Group E, many fans are rather worried after seeing the group, which looks like this:

Group E - Playing in Vilita
#3 Bedistan
#7 Turori
#23 Tadjikistan
#30 Spurland

What's to worry about, you say? Plenty. Well, all right, Spurland probably won't be much trouble for us. We faced them in a couple qualifying matches twenty years back and doubt much has changed.

Previous matches:
WC17 qualifying: SPU 0-2 BDS*
WC17 qualifying: BDS 3-1 SPU

But then, in the third seed slot, who do we see? No, for the love of Margaret, not Tadjikistan! The Lions are in fact just coming off a loss to the Tigers at Fillmore National Stadium, and Tadjikistan was one of only two nations to end WC22 qualifiers with a perfect 10-0-0 record, the other being Krytenia. No, we don't know how they did it, either. Well, all right, we know Tadjikistan did it through the use of illegal animals, but Krytenia remains a mystery. As it always has. At any rate, getting back to the original topic, we're not too happy at having to face Tadjikistan again. Kinda reminds us of Audioslavia back in World Cup 20.

Previous matches:
WC14 qualifying: TDJ 1-2 BDS
WC14 qualifying: BDS 2-0 TDJ
WC15 first round: BDS 3-2 TDJ (played in EAU)
WC22 qualifying: TDJ 1-0 BDS
WC22 qualifying: BDS 0-1 TDJ

And then finally we have Turori. Always living in the shadow of their next-door neighbors (via some water) Vilita, but not by much. Vilita/Turori are the only known "master-puppet" combo to have both nations ranked in the top 10 in the official KPB rankings ever, and in practice, Turori is always just a half-step behind Vilita in World Cup matters. And Vilita are a damn good team.

Previous matches:
WC15 qualifying: BDS 3-2 TUR
WC15 qualifying: TUR 1-1 BDS
WC16 first round: BDS 0-2 VIL (played in REJ)
Eagle's Cup 4 quarterfinals: BDS 3-3 VIL, BDS wins 10-9 on penalties (played in TEN)
Jurassic Invitational final: BDS 1-3 VIL (played in RPT)
WC21 quarterfinals: BDS 8-7 VIL (played in CBS)

So after all that, what do we predict for ourselves? I'm gonna have to go with the Standard Bedistan Lions World Cup First Round Performance™: one win, one draw, and one loss. That's a win over Spurland, a draw with Turori, and another loss to Tadjikistan. Bedistan goes through to the second round in second place on goal difference over Tadjikistan; Turori finishes first. Beyond that, we're not predicting anything else for fear of jinxing ourselves.


*For consistency's sake, we're using the new TLA given to us by the NSIOC here. We never much liked "BED" anyway. Other TLAs used in this report are purely creations of the BSD and should not be considered official, unless they happen to be the same as the official ones. In which case, call us lucky.

It's time...
Terminators finally play Cup on home soil, drawn with Eauz

IT's taken over 60 years - 15 cups. After so long, the Liverpool England Terminators will finally play their first World Cup Finals match on home soil. The Terminators have been tipped for 4th place overall by Druidan press, however local press seems a bit more optimistic.

"WC22? FORGONE, WE'LL WIN" screamed the headline of the Orean Sun-Herald.

Let's take a neutral stance, however, and look at our group.

Matchday 1: Eauz (H) [Memorial Stadium, CCL]
4th time the two teams will meet in the finals since World Cup 17, which has been the team's best finished in recent time, finishing 4th. Eauz may be a tough nut to crack, but this team has done it before, and signs prove they'll do it again. Win.

Matchday 2: Raptor Claw (H) [Waterway Arena, Schimpol]
Relatively unknown to the team, but had a good qualifying session. Expect slight difficulty, although many predict a win. We can't take them for granted, however. Draw.

Matchday 3: The Lowland Clans (H) [National Stadium, CCL]
Again, familiar competition. The Lowland Clans have not been outstanding of late in the finals, and the team should look to capitalise on that. IF the Terminators have a full-strength squad, they should qualify. WIN.

Other qualifier (predicted): Eauz

Eels Drawn with Tadjikistan... Again

----------------------Yet another World Cup Finals and Yet another Meeting with Tadjikistan. That's right, The Turori Eels will get to once again renew their rivalry with those lovable Euro-Russian wannabes from the other side of the really big pond. The once rising team of a generation has taken a step back, but is still a contender that should never be overlooked. The Eels are coming off their worst performance in the World Cup Finals in a long time after being knocked out in the Second Round by Audioslavia. The loss ended a streak of consecutive Quarter Final appearances for the Eels. But Turori bounced back straight away with a very impressive run in world cup qualifying. The Eels got to square off against budding rivals Bryn Shander, a rivalry that started off in the NS Bowl which Turori eventually kicked the crap out of Bryn Shander on the way to the NS Bowl title, the first sporting championship for the Nation of Turori since they were crowned champions of Eagle's Cup III by beating Kingsford on Penalty Kicks after extra time. The match ended a 2-2 draw before hand. Turori fought off Jeruselem to claim the top spot in Group 13 and posted their best ever performance in qualifying, scoring 22 goals and conceding just 3 for a good +19 goal differential. The Eels will face Bedistan on the first day of Finals competition, and the winner of this match will likely already have sealed their own passage to the quarter finals. Spurland and Tadjikistan will likely be playing for third and fourth place.



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Matchday One Scores in your TG Box!

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Stars leave Owens, hosts in dust

Sarzonia had everything going against it. Playing in front of a huge partisan crowd in host nation Legalese in the wake of a two match winless streak against the Black and Red and facing their former top assistant coach, the Stars had every reason to lose the match. However, they had one advantage the Black and Red didn't: Goalkeeper Horace Sandt.

Sandt made five saves and extended his national record scoreless minutes streak to 678 minutes and the Stars got two goals from Barry Alphonso and one from Darwin Russell en route to a 3-0 domination of Legalese to kick off the World Cup XXII finals.

"It's a relief to get this match out of the way," Coach Dave Wilson said. "Legalese is a tough side and we think they've got a great future ahead of them with Barry calling the shots."

The Stars extended their winning streak to seven matches and put themselves into position to qualify if they can notch at least one more win over either Commerce Heights or loudmouths Hiiraan. A win over the Capitalizts would be the first in the Stars' history in four matches, though they have two draws.

"We're only worried about one match at a time," forward Brian Wilson said. "We can't get wrapped up in all the drama and controversy or we're going to come unhinged."

The Bureaucratic Tribune

Oglethorpia to be thus known as 'the Ostriches'

Megalopolis City (BT) -- By official decree of the Oglethorpian Association of Football, the Bureaucratic States's nationial side shall be thus known as the Oglethorpian Ostriches.

"In proud tradition of team names," began OAF President Joe Staplin in a speech outside the bureau's headquarters, "following the Midshipmen, the Superteam, the Wonderteam, and the Mediocrity-Languishers, I present to you the Ostriches!"

Uniforms were then unveiled, skillfully laden with multiple images of the proud creature. But by no means is the parallel a good thing it all.

"Consider the similaries," said Staplin after the speech. "It seems real glorious on the face of things, but it's really just disappointing. Here are the parallels as they exist; the ostrich looks an impressive creature with its ability to run 40 mph, and its vigour and viciousness are legendary. And yet, it is a flightless bird; incapable of ever getting off the ground. Can you think a better metaphor for our national squad, besides the Ostriches? And no, the Emus does not have the same ring to it."

Indeed Oglethorpia looks impressive on paper and in action, but amounts to getting nothing done.

The Oglethorpian Ostriches make their first apperance in the 14th Cup of Harmony, and make their first World Cup appearance in four years in the 23rd iteration of the event.

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

Svecian golden generations few and far between
Fans, players beginning to wonder when the next Lightning strike will hit the semifinals

You would think that with the great voetballing heritage of the Germans, Dutch, and Swedes, Svecia would have a better World Cup record to show for their time of participation. Apparently this isn´t true.

Coming into the finals with a mediocre 12-14-3 record in World Cup finals matches dating back to World Cup 13, Svecians aren´t holding much hope that this time around it will be different. They have watched their team´s world ranking drop from 10th so recently as WC19, to 14th, and now to 18th, not such a horrible position, but certainly not one becoming of a team that has only failed to qualify for the finals on two other occasions in their 21 Cup history. They have watched all of their favorite stars slowly retire and give way to young, untested players. Only Tomas Kristiansand and Hans Larsson still remain from the group that gave Svecia their biggest day, a finals win over Rejistania.

But fans have still not given up hope that someday their team will again return to the semifinals of a World Cup, as they did twice in WC 5 and again in WC7, both times finishing in 3rd. Head coach Matt de Fijts was once the young, cocky keeper from Kystig who lead his team into those third place finishes with shutout performance after shutout. When it was announced that he would be the next head coach of the Lighting a buzz went up around the country: Could he be the one to return Svecia to the world spotlight?

But since arriving back for World Cup 14, along with the rest of the now retired stars, the only thing he has to show for his efforts is three appearances in the second round and a massive qualifying record. At least he has done one thing right, though: he has assured the colors and excitement of Svecia´s fans will continue to brighten World Cup host countries.

Street Make A Mockery of Druidan Predictions
Squornshelous Cruise To 3-1 Victory

Cockbill Street's first go at a World Cup finals abroad for eight years ended in a disastrous, suicidal match that could easily have been lost by higher margins. After qualifying with seven matches unbeaten, the Streetians became complacent at the end of qualifying, and they seem to have carried this into the group stages. Their attacking tactics were thwarted by poor passing and a lack of will to run, causing the possession to be with the Pschychoes most of the time - and they took full advantage.

In the early minutes of the matches, it became clear that the Streetian wing-oriented tactics were futile against this central-concentrated Squornshelan team, playing a 4-1-2-1-2. They sent many controlled passes between them, and Cawdron and MacLavish - clearly instructed to defend their zone - did not come in to help the central midfielders. At times, the Streetian central defence looked like the A491 to Roegrow at four o'clock in the night. Thus, it was completely deserved when Alexander Popov received a flick from Marvin Oonar which was then lobbed over a haplessly misplaced Qurat. 1-0 for Squornshelous.

The Streetians did try, in all fairness. But today, their physical condition came up short, and several players were visibly exhuasted by half-time - which Squornshelous took full advantage of. Rhianna Peters equalised with a tap-in from six metres after Marko Antropov had given a stupid rebound, but that was all the Streetians got out of the match - the Pschychoes scored the 2-1 goal through the man of the match, Marvin Oonar, who curled in a free kick from 25 metres as Qurat yet again was misplaced. That pummeled out all the will to win in the Streetian side,

Despite a number of substitutions just after half-time, the Streetians still looked tired, and were thoroughly outplayed in the second half. Their best chance came when Canning headed a cross from McLavish a couple of feet over the bar, but the match belonged to Squornshelous, as Alexander Popov moved near the top of the tournament's top-scorer list by rounding off the match with a fine shot from 15 metres.

Cockbill Street now face Druida and Jeruselem, and need to win one, probably both, to qualify for the second stage. They need considerably more effort and will to win than they showed today, but this is basically the same side that came third at the World Cup four years ago - they must have been doing something right back then...

Grover's Park, Orean
SQUORNSHELOUS 3 (2) COCKBILL STREET 1 (1)
---------------------------------------------------------------
Marko Antropov 6 Simon Qurat 5
Tor Jacobs 7 Orson Kent 5
Sam Fletcher 6 Olivine 4
(Karl Rasmussen on 80 ) (David Pomsville on 66 )
Dmitrij Ulanitsj 6 Andrew Widdleston 6
Peter Orlov 5 Sodalite 4
Akbar Tsang 5 Sarah Cawdron 5
(Gunnar Thorsen on 72 ) (Marcus Tripton on 57 6)
Jorge Perez 6 Travis Robertson 6
Marvin Oonar 8* Philip McLavish 5
Janni Tsikov 6 John Swytherton 4
Brian Guerrero 7 Rhianna Peters 6
Alexander Popov 8 Alan Canning 4
(Franz Persson on 55 7) (Hroar Spearthrower on 49 5)
Sum 11 players: 70 Sum 11 players: 54
Sum 12 players: 77 Sum 13 players: 65
Manager: Sergej Korolev Manager: Christine Andrews

* denotes humanoid of the match
+ denotes captain

Goals: 1-0 Popov 11, 1-1 Peters 33, 2-1 Oonar 44, 3-1 Popov 71
Bookings: Thorsen, Guerrero (Squornshelous),
Widdleston, H Spearthrower, Swytherton (Cockbill Street)
Referee: Nike Ltd. (Commerce Heights) 4
Attendance: 97,194

Group D P W D L GF-GA Pts
Squornshelous 1 1 0 0 3-1 3
Druida 0 0 0 0 0-0 0
Jeruselem 0 0 0 0 0-0 0
Cockbill Street 1 0 0 1 1-3 0

Siki Rej was a person, who avoided daylight as best as possible. During World Cups, he can not do that and tries to help himself with sun cream with highest protection against tanning. Rej'he would say that he is paranoid about cancer, but the real think is that a tanned nerd is as wrong as a karelan team conceding 10 goals. And sometimes, he is in an internet cafe near the hotel, connecting to the ASR-systems (and for porn of course, but in this story that won't matter). Internet-cafes near the hotel of the Rejistanian team normally start upgrading their systems because it is very profitable to have Siki Rej as user. Not only because the ASR systems are horribly slow, but also because he tends to fall asleep in front of the PC during a long compile.
He is doing exactly that at the moment this RP starts. Suddenly, something starts bleeping furiously like a Hexatux. It is of course no Hexatux but an alarm clock, which directly after that flies on the ground. Siki Rej then tries to kick it away, but since he is still asleep his foot hits the table. That makes him wake up cursing. The screen displays information, which makes Siki Rej's cursing even worse. The Hexatux was not completely cleared of the files from the fmjphoenician invasion. One slani file was still sitting there ready to attack in the worst moment. He could only get rid of it with a reboot and the single-user modus, but he has no remote desktop there and the DAUs (dumbest assumable users) in the ASR couldn't do it if their life depends on it. Sooner or Later, the Hexatux would react strangely... after the match against Dance 2 Revolution, Siki Rej knew that in a sooner-or-later situation, one should always assume the bad thing to happen sooner. Siki Rej even changed the orders of the Hexatux before telling them the team, but despite that, they played like lehiju'ny. They won 3:1, but that was the only positive fact. The temple was not pleased with him, the temple also was not pleased with his comment about the inept ASR sysops. Enough annoying Siki Rej, he thought, I will strike back. He wrote a virus and sent it to several addresses in fmjphoenix, many in the FA.

Jeruselem Government News

The usual World Cup group stage results ... we never win anything

Today was Jeruselem's World Cup XXII group stage game against Druida. Jeruselem have never won a group stage game, a problem that many teams seem to have and things didn't change again.

Druida won 4-1 a comprehensive thumping of our team and Squornshelous did the same to poor old Cockbill Street (3-1), a team who share our World Cup problem in the U21 championship finals. The game was rather one sided and the youngish Jeruselem team had trouble with Druida's world class team. The scoreline looked dreadful, but the Jeruselem keeper did an excellent job keeping it down to 4 goals. It could have been 10 instead. Attacking wise, a solitary Jeruselem goal at the end of game did not cancelled out the 4 goal deficit and Druida had relaxed by then.

Jeruselem's best chance of points is against Cockbill Street, but even a win will not stop Druida and Squornshelous make the final stages if they just keep on winning as they normally do.

Spurland Get Second Ever Point In a WC
Tadjikistan 1 Spurland 1

Spurland managed to hold Tadjikistan to a 1-1 daw in Vilita. Robbie Mead scoring first for Spurland late in the first half with a dink right under the goalkeeper's nose.

~
~

FIXTURES/RESULTS:
MD1: Tadjikistan v Spurland D 1-1
MD2: Bedistan v Spurland
MD3: Turori v Spurland





OOC: Will hopefully post a complete RP soon, got these bloody exams to get through.

~ Tough start ~


MD1 - L
One Red Dot v. Gaian Ascendancy (2 - 1)


GANN Sports Desk: ~ "We lost so there. But we still showed up at least. Um.. that didn't sound good did it?"

That sound byte from Gaian Midder Pryde Tamara probably said it best, as the Seraphims had to endure a first day loss to One Rd Dot, with a 2-1 defeat that didn't seem as close as it was. The Seraphims apparently got a spate of bad luck with the ball, losing possession, field control, and then goals, while unable to capitalize on several early chances, as much to the Red Dot defense, as much as to home crowd noise, and unfamiliarity with this level of play, and a unmeasured team on top of.

The Gaians fell behind 1-0 at the 33rd minute off a brilliant set piece shot, that found a Red Dot midder in just the right spot to put it away past several scrambling Seraphim players. "A good shot." Howe put amicably.

He wasn't so at the 44th minute as the half wound down, and a chance shot from the Red Dot midfield side found a Red Dot Striker unmarked in front of Howe, and a strong corner fod it's way past the less than bemused Gaian Keeper for a 2-0 deficit.

The second half was about the same, and the Gaians only chance to make up ground came in the 56th minute mark, as Richard Kreese finally had a clean shot at goal after breaking away from the Red Dot defense and puting home the consolation. The rest of the match saw the Gaians and Red Dots break up each other's attacks too often to allow any more chances, and the Gaians ended the day on a dour note.

"Yeah, it wasn't pretty for us or our fans who had to endure that. It'll be no less as hard the next two matches. But we didn't roll over for anyone today, nor down the road. We still have hopes, even if reality says different.

But we still meant what we said. They have to earn it though us."

Scott Yeh meanwhile continues to improve form, with which the spunk may have helped keep the match within reach, if not actually there. Kelse Howe meanwhile just will shake off another hard match, as the Seraphims prepare for the second of three Roundo16 qualifiers.

"We 'are' still playing until the final bell tolls. That's at least 180 match minutes off, and who knows what can still happen till then." Ian Andersen spoke. "...we're unpredictable enough like that."

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

"INSANE" LIGHTNING UPSET TOP TEAM
Svecia record first ever win over #1 ranked team

Total n Utter Insanity 2:3 Svecia

The yellow and blue Svecia supporters who decided to make another long trek to a World Cup were not disappointed last night as their Lightning played the game of their lives against 1st ranked Total n Utter Insanity. And despite TnUI controlling much of the game, Svecia created enough chances, including the winning goal in the 83rd minute from Hannes Ljungberg, to finish off the favorites in what has been said is the group of death, something the Lightning are used to finding themselves in lately.

"We just played insane tonight" said goalkeeper Mattias Prika, whose 5 saves kept Svecia in the game. "I´ve never experienced anything quite like this before, it´s just an amazing feeling right now, I don´t know how to explain it."

About his opponants, head coach Matt de Fijts said: "They´re a really good team. They have it all: a great overall game, but especially the technical skill and the knowledge of when to use that skill in the course of the game, and of course they have class. I just think that my players put forth more of a team effort tonight, especially in the offensive third. We weren´t greedy like we sometimes get. And of course [Mattias] Prika was incredible too."

Svecia certainly didn´t waste any offenseive opportunities. Out of the 8 shots they had, 4 were on goal, including the three they scored on. TnUI could only capitalize on 2 of their 7 shots on goal, but there were a number of scorchers that narrowly missed, including a shot off the post in the 88th minute that would have tied the game.

TnUI started the game with the ball and wasted no time in pressuring Svecia. Within the first ten minutes of the game, they had already taken 4 of their 16 total shots, but two went wide and Prika handled the other two with relative ease in comparison with the shots later on in the game. It took until the 17th minute for TnUI to finally break down the defense. Tomas Kristiansand gave up a free kick about 21 yards out, and the kick, a screamer around the wall, left Prika with no chance of reaching it. 1-0 to the Insacions (sic?).

But it was Svecia who would claim the next part of the game, scoring twice in the space of 6 minutes with goals from midfielder Hannes Ljungberg and striker Fabian Mertesacker in the 28th and 34rd minutes to the joy of Svecian fans. Scoring during qualification had not been so easy for the Lightning and it wasn´t expected to improve against the likes of Total n Utter Insanity. But a beautiful through ball from Kurt Köller put Ljungberg 1 on 1 with the keeper for a the low strike, and it was Kristiansand´s corner kick that made its way to the head of Mertesacker who made not mistake after he was left open from 4 yards out.

But that was really the only stretch of the first half that Svecia controlled. The rest was played emphatically in their own half of the field. The second half began with Svecia controlling the tempo, trying to slow the game down and wear the clock, and the opponants, down. It almost worked as Svecia nearly doubled their lead when Ljungberg´s half volley in the 59th minute just was turned away by the TnUI keeper.

Unfortunately for the Lightning, their increased pressure on the Insacians turned out to be bad. A strong counter attack from TnUI left the Svecian back line stranded in the 73rd minute, and the 4 on 3 break turned the game into a 2-2 deadlock. After that, it was again all Insanity as they seemed to have gotten their momentum back.

Both teams were starting to look winded as the game wound into the last 10 minutes. Prika made an incredible flying fingertip save to keep the score level in the 81st minute, but Svecia cleared the resulting corner and broke upfield for what proved to be their last solid attack of the match, but was it ever important. A string of passes found Kristiansand open on the left flank. His cross was headed out, but fell to the feet of Niclas Helveg who horribly shanked his volley. Incredibly, though, the ball dropped right to Ljungberg at the far post, who touched the ball in to send the Svecians into delerium.

TnUI attacked furiously trying to win back at least a point from the Lightning, and nearly did in the 88th minute when a beautiful passing series left the Sveickan defense spinning, but the shot banged off the post to the relief of the beaten Prika, and the entire band of yellow clad fans and players.

With the final whistle, the Svecikan bench stormed onto the field to celebrate with their exhausted teammates. To the stuned Insacians credit, they stayed around to shake hands with their opponants to end what probably one of the most exciting group stage matches ever, at least from the Svecikan point of view.

the following actions happened between the hours of 8pm and 9pm.

Doomhammer is on the stage about to begin the Press conference. S. Sam sits beside him

DH: ok. You all know the drill. 2 about the WC, 2 about football in general and 1 on anything at all.

AE: Al Ellis, ECN. With the lions in group H with the co-hosts how do you rate their chances?

DH: one word very good. With the results in that we drew with Vilita today 2 all. If all goes to plan we should win the Next two. But as we all knows things hardly ever do. Next

MP: Michael Pratt, the Glow. Can El Cid the Hero get the semi-final in this WC?

DH: of course we can. I remember an opponent said when we were starting to gain momentum that ECTH might win the cup by WC35. If all goes to plan I believe we can win it any time. Never mind getting to the semi-final. Next

TW: Tony west, Voice for the little guy. Is it true that the ECFA is bugging all of its opponent’s headquarters?

DH: I can say in absolute honesty that I have heard that rumour and am taking it seriously. Next

WD: Willis Dawson, the Blurb. Are you planing to retiring soon?

DH: This comes up every WC. Read m lips. I WILL STAY! That’s all I can say on the matter. Next.

GP: Gorge Kong, the Noir. is the ECFA a part of an international smuggling organisation to smuggle crabs into El cid the hero?

DH: we are connected to the see. Why would we need to smuggle crabs? This conference is over.

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football

Unvic-turori-ous

YEADDIN, Vilita -- The Lirai Asku Castle was filled to capacity with cheering football fans. About 40 percent of them were Turorian (the stadium being quite close to Turori), 20 percent Vilitan, 30 percent Bedistani, 8 percent from various other Atlantian Oceania nations, and the remaining 2 percent from Margaret knows where. Why have we included such an irrelevant detail in this report, you ask? Because the majority Vilitan-Turorian crowd might possibly serve as an explanation for why the Lions managed to drop three points on Matchday One.

The match got off to an explosive start when Turori's Koiba Uviava gained early possession of the ball and charged at the Bedistani goal. But Nick Reagan showed why he was a World Cup champion with a save that can be described as nothing short of miraculous. But this miracle would not come without a price, as Reagan jammed a finger on his right hand when he hit the turf. With Reagan unable to continue the game, the Lions were forced to a second-minute substitution, bringing on totally untested 24-year-old reserve keeper Tom Pratt.

The first half was an example of equality between the two teams, with each taking five shots on goal. Vanessa Carpenter's 24th-minute strike entered the Turorian net, but Alejandro Vantrease made an uncharacteristic error that put him in violation of the offside rule, and the goal was disallowed, much to the relief of goalkeeper Milauo Slietah, who really should not have let that particular shot in. Pratt made a valiant effort to defend the goal, but offensive midfielder Martiia Rawaii simply proved too strong for him, putting the Eels up 1-0 in the 37th.

In the second half, it became painfully obvious that Bedistan's midfield lacked the stamina of previous sides as Turori shifted into cruise control for the remainder of the match. Uviava would ultimately redeem himself for his failed early attempt by scoring the final 2-0 goal twenty-one minutes from full time. At the final whistle, the green-and-blue-clad Bedistani team marched back to the locker room in fairly low spirits.

"We really needed at least a point from this match to have a real chance at the second round," said coach Mike Davidson. "But maybe things will still turn in our favor. If we can pull off a draw with Tadjikistan, we might go through yet. That'll take some heavy training, though." And as if to emphasize his point, he made a big show of rounding up the players and heading for the practice fields not ten minutes after the final whistle had been blown.

finalscore
Bedistan 0
Turori 2 (Rawaii 37, Uviava 69)

(OOC: Don't bother correcting it, it's Babelfish French.)

Échouer de terminateurs pour terminer Eauz
Terminators leak stoppage time goal

Liverpool England 1 (Druydi 14, sent off 54) Eauz 1 (Player 90+5')

The Terminators are in huge trouble with their manager, Syku Lyku. The team undeservedly drew with Eauz in their opening World Cup Finals group game, conceding a 5th-minute stoppage time goal, essentially the last kick of the game.

They went ahead much to the pleasure of the home crowd though, after 13 minutes Christopher Druydi, making his first senior appearance since the Four Nations Invitational where the team finished third out of four. Druydi ran past the defence in a blatant mockery of the offside trap, pulling back onside just as the pass from Xavier Gocia left his foot, cooling turning and slotting the ball past the oncoming keeper before the defence even had time to think.

The game remained uneventful until about ten minutes past the restart, when Druydi got himself into trouble by retaliating to a foul, and was sent off. Druydi will miss the remainder of the group stage and the Round of 16, should the team make it.

Again, uneventful periods until the Eauz attack suddenly seemed to find inspiration from the official's board stating 6 minutes of added time. They dominated the whole extra period, finally scoring a goal with the last kick of the game, a near-impossible 45-yard curling shot that zoomed into the net, making the groans around Memorial Stadium very audible.

Syku Lyku has been told to qualify for the quarterfinals at least, or face the sack.

Nikola: "Glad you got them here on time."

Dave: "No worries! So you got them playing the game?"

Nikola: "Yup."

Dave: "And how did you explain where they were?"

Nikola: "Oh, you know, I just bluffed it somehow. Easy, huh?"

Dave: "Er, yeah. And how are they doing?"

Nikola: "What do you mean, how are they doing? We're fixing their game so it finishes Starblaydia 4 Krytenia 0, something along those lines."

Dave: "You sure?"

Nikola: "Yup."

Dave: "Because, stop me if I'm mistaken, but neither of the two teams you've just mentioned happen to be called 'Svecia' of 'Total n Utter Insanity', do they?"

Nikola: "No, why?"

Dave: "Look. At that score."

Nikola: "Total n Utter Insanity 2-3 Svecia? That could never happen!"

Dave: "Exactly!"

Nikola: "One more chance, they've got, Dave. Else you can send them back."

Dave: "OK."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Nikola: "Druida 4 Jeruselem 1! Druida can't beat an egg, for chrissakes!"

Dave: "OK, I think you've convinced me. I'll take them back tonight, once they're asleep again."

Nikola: "Ridiculous, I tell you."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The Daily Druid

MONTY WHACKS JERUSELEM
Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po on Druida 4 Jeruselem 1

Trefor Montenegro scored two and set up two for Druida as they thrashed a sorry looking Jeruselem side 4-1, teh biggest finals win for the Druidish Lands since NEWI Cefn Druids' 5-0 annihilation of One Red Dot that opened World Cup 19.

Of course, Jeruselem have never won a game in the finals, but considering that it took them something ridiculous like about eight attempts to make it in the first place, it seems that they're just taking this progress thing a little slower than others. At his rate, they should win the whole cup by World Cup 66. At least, that's what the compuer says. Though this is the same computer that predicted Cockbill Street to win this cup, an EL CID win by World Cup 35, a Druidan one by World Cup 42 and an Audioslavian victory by World Cup 741, so it does have to be questioned.

The young, inexperienced opposition crumbled as Montenegro, along with strike partner Trefor Defnyddiwch, ripped their poor defence to shreads. Even Max Chilver, who came on as a late substitute for Defnyddiwch, managed to get in on the act with the fourth.

It means that Druida are... wait for it... top of Group D! Hooray! Of course, there's still a fair old way to go, but the winner of Druida's next game, against Squornshelous, will almost certainly go through. The Pschychoes overcame Cockbill Street 3-1 in their opener, so both sides will be coming into the game on the back of a quite convincing win.

Final score:
Druida 4 (Montenegro 32, 65, Defnyddiwch 48, Chilver 84)
Jeruselem 1 (Brose 89)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

***OTHER NEWS***

Bedistani police are reported to be looking for two young boys who have gone missing. The boys names have not been revealed for legal reasons, but it is known that they are from the Graceville area of the country.

Police have a suspect that they are looking at for the abduction. He is around six feet tall with short, dark hair. He speaks with a slight Nova Britannican accent, and is thought to answer to the name 'Dave'. It is thought that he could be operating from anywhere in Atlantian Oceania, or even beyond. If you see this man, do not approach him, and call the police immediately.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Meanwhile, at The Hole, in Mawr, during the All-Druid Basket Weaving Championships...

Basket weaver #1: "What the devil's thaa'?"

Basket weaver #2: "Is what?"

Basket weaver #1: "Look!" *points upwards*

Basket weaver #2: "Bloody broight, in't it?"

Basket weaver #1: "You caan sey thaa' again, matey."

Those Dudes again!

The fifth time the Tadjiks play in the first round of a World Cup might again be dissapointing, already the Tigers first match ended in a 1-1 draw that should have been a Tadjik victory. Yes, a Tadjik victory, that would be the normal procedure since the qualification where we had got through with a 10-0-0 record.
So the Tadjik Tigers showed their claws, but now get stuck against a side they should have beaten. What does that say about the rest of this Cup? That we need to do better in our next game.
Well, that next game is again Bedistan, and since we've beaten them twice in the last two games, I think we can do better and beat them again. We'll certainly have to if we want to stay out of the last position in this group.

And then we go up against those dudes from Turori again, we havent won many games against them in the past (Did we ever win from them?). But if we plan to take points against these guys then now is the time. Maybe we should bring some animals along to help us out.

Your Group Stage Matchday 1 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8823065&postcount=18) scores are now available for Groups E, F, G and H only. Vil will post the rest sometime later.

Stakes raised for Stars

Sarzonia's national team certainly didn't have much time to enjoy its 3-0 win over Legalese in the opener of the 22nd World Cup finals. Coach Dave Wilson assembled the team for workouts at 8:00 a.m. and immediately began focusing on the match against Commerce Heights.

"We're going to be facing a desperate team," Wilson said. "They just got slaughtered by a lower-ranked side and they're going to be out for blood. Our blood. We're going to have to play as if we were the team that started with a 3-0 loss."

Sarzonia has faced Commerce Heights four times, playing two consecutive World Cup qualifying campaigns against them in World Cup XVII and XVIII. In each Cup, the Stars lost a match and drew one against the Capitalizts. The Stars are looking for their first-ever win over their rivals, and midfielder Darwin Russell said "that's plenty of motivation."

"We don't need much to be motivated to play these guys," he said. "Besides that, we've got a chance to all but punch our ticket to the knockout rounds if we take care of business."

While a Stars win coupled with a win by Hiiraan against Legalese would guarantee a trip to the knockout stages for Sarzonia, the Stars to a man are hoping that Legalese wins the match for several reasons. Midfielder Bobby Convey said he wanted old teammate and former assistant coach Barry Owens to advance to the knockouts in front of Legalese's home supporters.

"For all that Barry's done for Sarzonian football and all that he can do for Legalese football, he deserves a chance to coach in the knockout rounds," Convey said. "I can't help but root for the guy."

However, forward Brian Wilson said he was openly rooting against Hiiraan.

"Those guys are so arrogant," Brian Wilson said. "They've never made it this far until now and they keep talking so much smack. I'd love to see them play for nothing but pride when we face them. And then shove that pride where the sun don't shine."

Regardless of the outcome of the Legalese-Hiiraan match, the Stars say their focus is on Commerce Heights.

"Now isn't the time to watch the scoreboard," Russell said. "We've got to watch ourselves."

"ooc: im going to try a new idea i hope you dont hate it"

Fan Report: Crystilakere 2 - Audioslavia 1

The Crystils got a huge win over Audioslavia in a rematch of the World Cup 19 final to start off the World Cup 22 group stage. Nina Nonaaia and Darren Whelen scored for Crystilakere who now face Oaker and Wella in the remaining games.

Fan Quotes on Nina Nonaaia

"Great performance too bad the only team they know how to score on is Audioslavia"

"Nonaaia is the best midfielder this country has ever seen. A legend who will become coach one day."

"Completely rubbish. Nina Nonaaia only did one good thing in a Crystilakere shirt, so they were in the right place at the right time to score on goal. That shouldnt give this bit of rubbish a permanent place in the lineup. I'd like to see that kid from the junior Crystils given a shot"

"Nonaaia! Oh My God. How sexy is this player! I want to marry you Nina! I love you!"

Fan Quotes on Audioslavia

"We seem to have their number don't we. Hopefully we can play them again in the quarter finals."

"Audioslavia is one of the best nations in the sport. To prove that we can still beat them, and that the win in World Cup 19 was no fluke proves that we are still one of the top nations ourselves.

"They like cattle, don't they?"

Fan Quotes on Oaker

"Oaker did pretty well in World Cup 21 so we will have to be careful with them."

"I don't think we have to worry about Oaker, they had an easy game against Wella and they will be over confident now. It should be an easy win"

"Any team that can win a finals game 4-0 deserves respect, It will be a tough match and the winner could be through to the next round."

Fan Quotes on host country Liverpool England

"Its a little dissapointing to have the cup being hosted in Atlantian Oceania but having to travel all the way out here."

"They have great random number generators here. I just won the Liverpool England lottery! We should play here more often."

Fan Quotes on Sarzonia

"How do they get to play in Legalese and we have to go all the way out to Liverpool England?"

"Don't worry we may not get to play them yet, but we'll get them in the final. That will be one great final when we beat Sarzonia to win the cup again. I can't wait."

Pschychoes walk all over "The Street"

Group D fave's go down at Squornshelous' hands

Squornshelous dismantled Cockbill Street in their first match of World Cup 22, taking advantage of poor passing by a surprisingly tired team. "After comfortably winning their group," said Squornshelan Manager Sergei Korolev, "I would have expected them to be more rested, but I guess they didn't have the right kind of conditioning this week, who knows, maybe they just partied too much after qualifying." Whatever the cause, the Streetians looked flat-footed and sluggish against a superb Squornshelan attack, lead by striker Alexander Popov, who recorded two goals for the Pschychoes.
The scoring was opened by Popov in the 11th minute, with a quick lob off a pass from Marvin Oonar. Strangely, the wing midfielders on the Streetian side did not pinch in to help defending, but stayed on the outside, despite the lack of Squornshelous attackers there. Either way, CS was able to strike back in the 33rd.
Rhianna Peters was in the right place at the right time when Marko Antropov, who otherwise had a flawless game, was unable to wrap up the ball on a save and let the rebound get away for the easy goal.
Squornshelous didnt wait long to take the lead again though, 11 minutes to be precise. As the Streetian players tired more and more before the half, Marvin Oonar broke through the defense again, when he was tackled from behind by Andrew Widdleston. Despite a lot of protesting from the Squornshelan captains, Alexander Popov and Yanni Zikov, Widdleston was allowed to continue play, recieving, a yellow card instead. However, that yellow proved just enough, as Oonar burried the ensuing free kick in the back of the net, adding to what was an off day for Streetian keeper Simon Qurat.
After the half, play was more defensive on the Squornshelan side, and more sloppy on the Streetian side. They were unable to keep possession for any period of time, and got only one real chance, when Alan Canning sent a header just over the bar. However, when seen on reply, it's obvious that Antropov would have had at least a 1 in 2 chance of making the save had the shot been on target.
After the missed shot, Cockbill Street failed to muster any sort of coordinated attack, and the Squornshelan pressure was eventually rewarded with Popov's second goal, a curving shot that caught Qurat in the wrong place again, landing in the back of the net.
What was expected to be one of the most competetive matches of the Group stage turned out to be a bit of a rout. However, Cockbill Street will still have a good chance to qualify, as they can probably achieve wins over Druida and Jeruselem. In the end, it seems that Squornshelous lived up to their recent footballing history better than Cockbill Street, as the third place team from WC20 defeated their counterparts from WC21.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 3-1 Cockbill Street

Scoring Summary:
SQ: Popov [11]
CS: Peters [33]
SQ: Oonar [44]
SQ: Popov [71]

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Popov: 10
Zikov: 6
Guerrero: 5
Perez: 1
Oonar: 1

Group D Standings After Matchday 1:

Group D Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Druida 3 1 0 0 4:1 3
2. Squornshelous 3 1 0 0 3:1 2
3. Cockbill Street 0 0 0 1 1:3 -2
4. Jeruselem 0 0 0 1 1:4 -3

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El Shid the Zero
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Vilita Goalscorers::
76' Antonis Siazzu

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-------------------Mauro Baraza was named in what could be one of his last appearances in the World Cup Finals alongside Riccardo Appolloni as Vilita looked to get onto the path back to the final. Baraza put in a good performance throughout the match, and before the end of the night, it was his partner Appolloni who made way for the legendary Callum Banda. The match was not all thrills for Helmut Vilkaous' Jungle Cats. In fact, for much of the match Vilita found themselves chasing El Cid the Hero who scored early to put Vilita under pressure. The Jungle Cats were unable to construct many chances, and registered just one shot on target. The real scare for Helmut Vilkaous came in the 40th minute when starting goalkeeper Jimmy Kater went down after a challenge from one of the El Cid attackers. With the match being held in front of Kater's home fans at the Shultis in Lonngeylin, home of Katers club Strike FC. Kater was helped off the field and Yeaddin Owls AFC keeper Delain Falcón was given his chance to shine in the World Cup finals.

-------------------There was little time for Falcon to get into the game after play finally resumed, and the referee was quick to send the players to the change rooms for halftime, with El Cid leading 1-0. As play resumed, however, Falcon was well up to the task, making a trio of incredible saves to keep the Jungle Cats in the game. Vilkaous had a sense of urgency knowing that a loss would serious impede his sides chances of qualification. Two quick substitutions saw a straight up change up front, while defender Ricky Ezis was replaced by midfielder Jacques Vintila. The changes seemed to work and some great work by Antonis Siazzu saw Vilita's equalizer as the game wound down. Vilita never really pressed for a winner, and did not look like the side that was crowned champions of World Cup 20. There are likely to be a host of changes as Vilita host Five Civilized Nations on matchday two. It is unknown whether or not Jimmy Kater will be available but no one will feel shortchanged should Delain Falcon be given the starting role.

-------------------Facing Five Civilized Nations will be a good omen for the Jungle Cats, having faced this side for the last time in World Cup 20 qualifying, where Vilita eventually went on to lift the World Cup for the first time. Lorenzo Mumamba and Jim Vella played their last games for the National Team, and both went out with fairy-tale ladened goals in a 2-1 victory in Five Civilized Nations. In the return matchup in Vilita, Serge DuPont and German Salomon introduced Riccardo Appolloni to the list of World Cup Qualifying scorers for Vilita, and now the Jungle Cats will be looking to duplicate the feat in from matchday one, by sending at least four goals through against Five Civilized Nations, and all but secure a place in the second round with a win.


Full Time Analysis:

Vilita

Best Player: Antonis Siazzu
Shots on Target: 2
Corner Kicks: 3



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Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Jimmy Kater, [D] Ricky Ezis, [D] Jaloey Afrikka, [D] Ade Hinds, [DMC] Daniel Oram, [ML] Antonis Siazzu, [MC] Inaki Soler, [MC] Jonjo Hulyer, [MR] Maurizio Sala, [FC] Mauro Baraza, [FC] Riccardo Appolloni,
BENCH::
[FC] Callum Banda, [FC] Tika Massa, [M] Tanner Nerni, [M] Jacques Vintila, [U] Thierry Columbo, [D] Niccoló Mazzeo, [GK] Delain Falcón,

Vilita Substitutions::
(40) - Jimmy Kater >>> Delain Falcón
(64) - Riccardo Appolloni >>> Callum Banda
(65) - Ricky Ezis >>> Jacques Vintila

Stars can't cash in, 1-1

Despite being the higher-ranked side in a Sarzonia-Commerce Heights match for the first time in the team's history, the Stars were unable to snap a four match winless streak against the Capitalizts and clinch a spot in the knockout stages after playing to a 1-1 draw.

"We just didn't make the plays we needed to when we needed them," Coach Dave Wilson said. "We didn't support [goalkeeper Horace Sandt] and we didn't make smart decisions with the ball. We're fortunate to come out of that match with one point."

Sandt came into the match with a national record for scoreless minutes with 687, but the streak came to a quick end courtesy of a penalty kick. Defender Mike Coyle committed a foul just inside the 18 yard box. Midfielder and team captain Darwin Russell drew a rare caution for dissent before the penalty kick.

Sandt guessed correctly, but could only get a fingertip on the ball and Commerce Heights led the match 1-0 after 16 minutes, ending the streak at 703 minutes.

"I'm not worried about the streak," Sandt said. "I'm upset we didn't get the three points [for a win]. We've got a must-win against Hiiraan now."

Pending the result of the Hiiraan-Legalese match, the Stars may need only a draw to earn one of the two bids to the knockout stages, but the Stars say they will play it "all out."

"We've got to leave it all out on the pitch," Russell said. "We're not even thinking about anything other than getting the three points."

Jeruselem Nick Point
We're Really In It Now...

Cockbill Street surrendered a 3-1 lead to be in real trouble before the final World Cup group stage match with Druida later on this week. The side let both themselves and over 50,000 travelling fans down when they, yet again, got shown out in the final minutes of a match. Manager Christine Andrews was "frustrated with the results, but happy about the play itself - I'm sure this will work itself out in the final game."

Many others aren't so confident, however. Several fans said that "it's gonna be tough, especially with the Druidans playing the way they are now," and others said that "we really need to improve - scoring four goals in two games is well and good, but I'm nervy every time they enter our half." Maybe the Streetian majority that voted Kansu Lyku in wasn't manipulated by va'karela after all.

However, yesterday's hero was, as so many times before, 37-year-old Sarah Cawdron. Retiring after this World Cup, Sarah will be deeply missed, as she offers a defensive safety that her reserve, Marcus Tripton, does not yet have. In his fourteen minutes on the pitch, Hellayuah Man had complete control on his right wing, and the entry of Callum Cummings instead of a tired Orson Kent didn't help either. After Sarah Cawdron had given the Street 3-1 through a brilliant raid and a one-two pass with Peters, followed by a splendid finish behind Rassad, the team fell apart. Man gave Jeruselem what every Streetian hoped was a consolation goal, but eight minutes later, he raided down the right side again - Levant was tallest in the area, having rushed up from his central defence position to give some extra help - and that worked. Levant and Man, the two best players of Jeruselem today, had secured the equaliser.

The last ten minutes was spent bashing on the Streetian wall for another goal, Ruud Dude coming on for an obviously tired Man as the Jeruselem team changed to a 4-3-3. It didn't help, though - Cockbill Street hung on for the solitary point, which could be crucial. There are still many possible outcomes, but the most plausible (and best for the Street) is that Druida loses to Squornshelous tomorrow, which would then result in an almost direct play-off between the Druidan and Streetian sides. A young Druidan side with an average age of 23.7 will probably rely on their central midfield partnership of Ricky Mallon and Trevor Wilson, along with the U-21 stars Montenegro and Defnyddiwch that helped them very far in one of the latest Under-21 Cups. The Street have certainly put themselves in a very tricky position - if Druida were to beat Squornshelous, Cockbill Street's fate are out of their hands, and were they to draw, the Street would require a three-goal win. Possible, given the scoring rate of this side, but unlikely - especially as Hroar Spearthrower got an idiotic booking in the last minutes, resulting in his suspension and meaning that Vimesbairn Athletic's Canning has to come back into the XI - unless Andrews opts for inexperienced Peter Nourse of Vimesbairn United or 32-year-old Olaf Spearthrower of K'haz'bak, in the squad because there's no one else. Meanwhile, there are rumours that Andrews might include Arnar Axewielder or David Pomsville in the line-up, switching from her traditional 3-5-2 to a more conservative 4-4-2 formation, possibly without Darren Hornby, who did not impress in his debut as defensive midfielder.

Memorial Stadium, CCL
JERUSELEM 3 (1) COCKBILL STREET 3 (2)
---------------------------------------------------------------
Assad Rassad 5 Simon Qurat 5
Jersy Dudedek 4 Orson Kent 6
Harry Cool 6 (Callum Cummings on 70 )
Robert Levant+ 7 Olivine 6
Alan Belmore 3 Andrew Widdleston 4
Phonie Holdstein 5 Darren Hornby 5
(Anotha Jesus on 66 ) Sarah Cawdron* 7
Doogy Brose 6 (Marcus Tripton on 66 )
(Ivan Luchich on 71 ) Travis Robertson 7
Sharon Arial 6 Philip McLavish 6
Hellayuah Man 7 John Swytherton 4
(Ruud Dude on 80 ) (Thorir Pickaxe on 55 6)
Zinedine Yadan 6 Rhianna Peters+ 6
Terri Henri 6 Hroar Spearthrower 6
Sum 11 players: 61 Sum 11 players: 62
Sum 12 players: 68
Manager: Himie Goldstein Manager: Christine Andrews

* denotes humanoid of the match
+ denotes captain

Goals: 0-1 Robertson 6, 1-1 Yadan 29, 1-2 Spearthrower 33, 1-3 Cawdron 59, 2-3 Man 71, 3-3 Levant 79
Bookings: unknown (Jeruselem),
Hornby, Cawdron, H Spearthrower (Cockbill Street)
Referee: Syku Kansu (Rejistania) 5
Attendance: 102,781

Group D P W D L GF-GA Pts
Squornshelous 1 1 0 0 3-1 3
Druida 1 1 0 0 4-1 3
Cockbill Street 2 0 1 1 4-6 1
Jeruselem 2 0 1 1 4-7 1

Another Shocker

Druida Upsets Squornshelous to claim a spot in the second round
It should have been the Pschychoe's party, everyone agreed, even the other team. Squornshelous was heavily favored to take down Druida in this groupd stage match, but somehow failed to do that.
"What happen is, we are distracted," said midfielder Yanni Zikov. "Everyone is happy for big win over Cockbill Street." he explained in a thick Russian accent. "We already look ahead to the finals."
Squornshelous gave away the win in much the same way that Cockbill street did in matchday 1, making sloppy passes and plays and not working together well. Although the game was close the entire time, Druida was clearly in control, as their first goal came off a crucial interception and intricate passing, while Squornshelous only marker came on a marvelous individual effort by Alexander Popov, who outmaneuvered a pair of Druidan defensemen, Trevors Orange and Cwulodden, near the top of the box and slammed the ball home from 13 meters.
While it looked like Squornshelous would be able to hang in there for the win, Druida kept the pressure on and Trefor Montenegro recorded an 88th minute goal off corner kick to give the Rainbows the win.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 1-2 Druida

Scoring Summary:
DR: Tree [35]
SQ: Popov [43]
DR: Montenegro [88]

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Popov: 11
Zikov: 6
Guerrero: 5
Perez: 1
Oonar: 1

Group D Standings After Matchday 2:

Group D P W D L GF-GA GD Pts
Druida 1 2 0 0 6-3 +3 6 Q
Squornshelous 1 1 0 1 4-3 +1 3
Cockbill Street 2 0 1 1 4-6 -2 1
Jeruselem 2 0 1 1 4-7 -3 1

Starblaydia Undefeated Throughout World Cup 22
Match against #1 Team in the World may prove an Insane bridge too far.

After an Undefeated 9-1-0 qualifying streak, Starblaydia are 1-1-0 in the Group Stage of World Cup 22. Next up come the #1 Team in the World.

Starblaydia began their World Cup 22 Finals campaign better than all three matches of World Cup 21 put together as they defeated Krytenia 1-0. Darius Belizaire scored the only goal of the nerve-filled game as Starblaydia started with three points, just what they needed. The second match came against Svecia, resulting in a 1-1 draw thanks to Zhorin Tumunzahar's equaliser.

Starblaydia now, you would expect, need just a single draw against Total n Utter Insanity, probably the best team in the world, despite their silence. With one point from the Insanician match, Starblaydia would be able to overcome any other combination of situations from the Krytenia/TnUI match and the Svecia/Krytenia matches. If Starblaydia lost to the Insanicans, however, they would need some luck to go their way before they could qualify.

Current Group Table (Krytenia/TnUI match result unknown at this time)
Group F Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Svecia 4 1 1 0 4:3 1
2. Starblaydia 4 1 1 0 2:1 1
3. Total n Utter Insanity 0 0 0 1 2:3 -1
4. Krytenia 0 0 0 1 0:1 -1

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

DAZZLING STRIKE SAVES STARBLAYDIA
Svecian efforts come up just short, but come away with a valuable point

Starbladyia 1:1 Svecia

A 78th minute volley from Starbladyia´s Zhorin Tumunzahar rescued a point for them after Svecia had gone ahead on Tomas Fabian Mertesacker´s deflected ball in the 54th minute.

Both teams played to win the game, but the keepers on both sides kept their respective teams in the game with amazing saves. Unfortunately for them, both goals had no chance of being saves. Mertesacker´s 18 yard drive clipped the leg of Joël Simão, sending the Starblaydiy keeper diving the wrong way, and Tumunzahar's blast from a sharp angle was bouncing off the net by the time Mattias Prika could react.

Both teams now stand at 4 points each and await the results of the other game in their group, Total n Utter Insanity and Krytenia. Svecia take on Krytenia next, while Starblaydia finish up with TnUI.

Ascendancy defeated

The Orange-Blues played against the upstarts of Gaian Ascendancy on matchday 2. The Seraphims had much problems with the very effective and very defensive tactic of the Orange-Blues. The Ascendancy played an attacking 4-3-3 against the Rejistanian 6-3-1, which sometimes reminded of a 9-0-1.

Rejistanian goalie Jana I Y called the match later: "uneventfull" and for him it was absolutely true. Gaian Ascendancy never came into a situation, where Jana I Y was decisive. The one real chance for the seraphims was in the 39th minute when Ian Andersen tried a shot from a distance, but the ball went well over the bar. Jiujia Makae scored for the Orange-Blues in a counter-attack in the 42nd minute. The second chance for the Orange-Blues was in the 64th minute but the seraphim goalie Kelse Howe could stop the shot of midfielder Vikax Xeki~l. 2 minutes before the end of the match, the Orange-Blues increased the score after a free kick. Sijili Nj shot and Syku Hanmatu (who was substituted in in the 70th minute for Makae'he) headed the ball into the goal.

Rijat Redy was man of the match: he was always dangerous and intercepted early. The Orange-Blues are now in a very good position to qualify for the round of 16 since they won 2 matches.

~ Learning from the best ~

[quote]
QMD2 - L
Rejistania v. Gaian Ascendancy (2 - 0)

GANN Sports Desk: ~ "When you play against the best, you keep learning what needs to be done to get to that level. At this point, we're out and we know it. But we'll be coming back with intentions to get even better.

We've faced Vilita, Red Dot and now Rejistania. What else can be said but facing such good opponents, except: wow."

The words of a dissapointed Ian Andersen, after enduring a 2 - 0 that ended with a set piece shot that summarized the end result for the Seraphims. The Gaians are eliminated, but won't be walking away from the final match feeling like losers.

"It should be 5 - 0 or worse for both matches, and we 'did' come to play, no matter the result. We'll feel like our heads are still high after tomorrow, even if the clouds are in our eyes. We'll be back." Coach Kerensky commented, as the team looks to end it's run, though the result was probably not unexpected.

However the last match won't be any less intense for the Seraphims, who look to end the run on a high note. "We deserve to feel good about the enture run, not to mention we don't do losing streaks.

That's what were playing for this last match. We'll be there, no doubt about it."

Jeruselem Government News

Cockbill Street throw away Victory

Match day 2 of the World Cup XXI group stage. It was probably Jeruselem's easiest game by far against Cockbill Street. We needed to win really as a point or no points would mean we would have to beat Squornshelous in the last game. As you'd expect, we didn't win as usual but secured a point but with much trial and trouble. The equation is WE MUST BEAT Squornshelous, regardless of the result of the other game.

Cockbill Street simply bolted out and at one stage lead 3-1 to seemingly get the win they needed to qualify depending on the results of other games. It seems it was all over as the Streetians had the run of the game and looked to be in control after leading 2-1 at half time which got worse when it extended to 3-1. Would the Crusaders simply lie down and give up?

No. They fought back as the Streetians inexplicably took the eye of the game and Jeruselem scored the next two goals after some substitutions and a change of tactics. The last ten minutes were spent trying to score the clincher, but without success and the draw did not help both teams that much in reality.

One team is safe in this Group. If Jeruselem and Cockbill Street win, one is through but this is not terribly likely. Goal difference becomes critical and the Streetians have the advantage.

Jeruselem play Squornshelous so Jeruselem must win, but Squornshelous can get a draw and be safe. We think Squornshelous will probably win.

Cockbill Street play Druida who beat Squornshelous 2-1 so it's hard task as well. Cockbill Street must win as well, and Druida can get away with a loss unlike Squornshelous as they have 6 points now. Druida most likely to win so the smart money is on the current leaders, but this is soccer. The minnows can slay the Goliaths if they are able to on the day!

JERUSELEM 3
COCKBILL STREET 3
Goals: 0-1 Robertson 6, 1-1 Yadan 29, 1-2 Spearthrower 33, 1-3 Cawdron 59, 2-3 Man 71, 3-3 Levant 79 (Stolen from CB's RP)

Druida 2 Squornshelous 1


Group D P W D L GF-GA Pts
Druida 1 2 0 0 6-3 +3 Q
Squornshelous 1 1 0 1 4-3 +1
Cockbill Street 2 0 1 1 4-6 -2
Jeruselem 2 0 1 1 4-7 -3

"U'ryth'kah," Christine Andrews muttered as she got onto the training ground in City Centre. "U'ryth'kah useless Squornshelans and their ah'nah'hani u'yth of female dogs!"

"What was the score, ma'am?" shouted Travis Robertson from the far end.

"2-1 to the u'ryth'kah Druidans. So, here's the deal, lads."

"Um..." Rhianna Peters and Sarah Cawdron began.

"And lasses, and other humanoids. We need to pummel Druida, by three, four goals, otherwise we're definitely out. Definitely no need to defend, at least."

"Shouldn't we try to..."

"No."

"But..."

"No. Do as I say, or you'll have 50 laps to run round the training ground tomorrow. Listen, we've played really well, we're creating enough chances, and I think we need more people in front of the box to put them away. Alan, you're back in for tomorrow's match."

"Who do we drop?"

"Olly - sorry Olly, but you've just not been with us enough."

"Um, ma'am, that means we'll play 2-5-3...with no central defenders," the big troll Olivine rumbled.

"I know that. But we've got Soda, he acts like a central defender at times, Sarah can work as a left back so that Andrew and David can work towards the centre. And Qurat, your job is to stop anything. Got it? Right, let's have some shooting practice round here..."

---

"What the r'wah'dhozh is Christine on about?" Helen Carpenter exploded, in her intermediate office at Orean. She had just got the report from assistant coach Bryony Williams. "We've scored one point, we've conceded six goals, and all she can think about is how to score four more against Druida?!"

"She does have a point, though," Bryony replied. "0-0, and we're definitely out."

"We're definitely out anyway - Jeruselem won't nick points off Squornshelous. No surprise, really, 30-year-olds never win a World Cup - this squad is too old. We should rebuild and get a decent 4-5-1 working again."

"Have you been listening to Radio RejisCAST lately?"

"Yes, why?"

"There are rumours that they use subliminal messages on that radio station - to hypnotise foreigners to love their team."

"Come on, conspiracy theories like that are SO WC20. Surely that can't happen again?"

"That's what they lead you to think..."

"U'ath'nih! Enough! Surely we can't play 2-5-3 in the last important group stage match. It flies in the face of all football logic."

"Exactly why it might just work...anyway, it's more like a 2-3-2-3."

"Whatever it is, it's too Takil-like! I won't have it! Tell your boss that if she puts that formation in, she'll be sacked."

Bryony sighed. Granted, Helen was nearing 70 and more conservative than a Karelan priest, but surely what formation we played was her business? Oh no, wait, actually Karela lines play 9-0-1 owing to a board decision - and in a more wonderful world, FK Bodø/Glimt played 4-3-3 by a board decision.

"Yes, ma'am," she said as she backed out of the office.

---

"SHE SAID WHAT?!" Christine Andrews said, back on the hotel room.

"You heard me. If we play 2-5-3 against Druida, you don't have a job after tomorrow."

"Did you hear that, Robert?" Christine said. "Helen Carpenter betrays the cause!"

"You know, you're almost as fanatic as the Rejistanians - at least this way, we can get a normal family life again. I can't remember when we last had you-know-what..."

"Six months and eleven days ago," Christine answered promptly. "It was after the friendly match with the Sculthorpe fans."

"Point proven..." Robert sighed. "Honestly, Christine, I appreciate your efforts and all that, but it's just so...hopeless. No one will ever win anything by suicidal attacks."

"Total Football's been successful in loads of other places..."

"Audioslavia never won anything. Neither did that Cruyff-side. Time to come from the pink cloud and realise that we're knocked out of the World Cup, again, and that the only thing that works is 5-3-2 or such formations."

"Gods! Have you been listening to RejisCAST as well?!" Bryony exclaimed.

"Yeah, they have a good World Cup round-up. Except for the fact that the connection breaks down every eighteen seconds, of course."

"That explains a lot," Bryony whispered to Christine. "I reckon they're putting out subliminal messages in those radio broadcasts - defense is good, you know, the usual Rejistani propaganda."

"Wait a minute," Christine said. "Rhianna, Darren and Alan told me they'd been listening to that the night before the Jeruselem game..."

"That explains why we drew!"

"Not really - we scored three goals..."

"Yeah, but don't you remember? After 3-1, almost everyone went back in our own half, and we got punished. Badly. Not to mention that Darren didn't make a single forward pass that was shorter than 30 yards. And Rhianna didn't score."

"Oh uth'nihi!!" Christine exclaimed. "I just remember - Travis and Qurat told me there was this World Cup round-up they wanted to listen to this evening..."

"We have to get to their hotel, quick!" Bryony said. "Bye, Robbie, we're going out!"

"Out? Where to?" Robert exclaimed.

"Just to save Streetian football, as usual," Christine said, with a wink. "See ya later!"

---

The door burst open.

"Hey, ma'am!" Travis Robertson exclaimed. "There's this great program you ought to listen to..."

"Where's that radio?!" Christine replied, looking around the room in panic. Suddenly, she ran towards the far corner, where a radio shouted repeatedly for someone named Elin. "There! Gotcha!" Christine said, as she turned it over to 'slavian Rock 98.6.

"Hey, that was fun!" Simon Qurat said from the other bed.

"Right, you two. Who's the greatest Streetian player ever?"

"Harald Axewielder, of course!"

"What's the Streetians' best match ever?"

"6-4 over Eauz," they answered promptly.

"Yay," Christine whispered to Bryony. "Doesn't seem to have had that much of an effect."

"Why are you asking us these questions?"

"Oh, just checking that you aren't influenced by Rejistani mind-games. Those guys would do anything to see the Street play 6-4-0. I'm surprised you still listen to their radio..."

"It's the only one with decent sports coverage. The 'slaves don't care, the 'blaydes have moved from radio to that strange thing called TV, the Vilitans are just rambling randomly, the Squornshelan is mad..."

"OK, OK, I get the picture. Anyway, don't turn the radio over to RejisCAST again, I reckon they're up to something," Bryony said.

Travis and Simon sighed.

"I'll get you clacks reports of the cricket, how's that?" Christine said.

"Live?" Travis inquired.

"Yeah, they're just past lunch on the third day of the final. Time zone differences, you know."

"Okay, I suppose."

"Cheers. Good luck tomorrow lads," Christine smiled as she left the room.

Group Stage MD2, E-H and A-D tables (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8836129&postcount=21); Group Stage MD2, A-D (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8835034&postcount=20)

IC:
Raptor Claw hold hosts to draw
Two points from six put Terminators in second on GF

Liverpool England were held to a draw by Raptor Claw as expected on Matchday 2. The fast-paced game saw six brilliant goals scored inside a half-hour, all scored in the first half.

The Terminators went 3-0 up almost immediately from the start, three goals in five minutes by Michael Clark and Francois Rousiells marking their first international goals. The defence held strong until the 24th minute when the Raptor attack penetrated the defence, nicknamed the Iron Curtain in parts of the country, to slot the ball home.

The Iron Curtain most certainly looked like what the non-existant "Real One" was in the year known as 1990; two more sloppy goals were let in. That was the end of the action for the match though, the stadium half-full by the hour mark.

The Lowland Clans play the Terminators on MD3, where a win is almost certainly needed unless Raptor Claw overcome Eauz or that match ends tied, in which case a draw would suffice.

thsd:NEWS
VILITA COVE EDITION

Total N Utter Ecstasy

AFTER thirteen fruitless attempts, the Caleys have finally won a World Cup Finals game. And who against? None other than the first-ranked team in the world, Total N Utter Insanity! The one-nil victory kept alive Krytenia's hopes of qualification, while making sure that the Insanicians were eliminated - they may well fall out of the top five.

Meanwhile, after the Starblaydia-Svecia draw, Krytenia are third in Group F, just a point behind the top two. The task for the Caleys to qualify? Simple. Do something they've already done twice in the qualifiers. Defeat Svecia.

Total N Utter Insanity - 0
Krytenia - 1
Group F Pts W D L GF:GA GD
1. Svecia 4 1 1 0 4:3 1
2. Starblaydia 4 1 1 0 2:1 1
3. KRYTENIA 3 1 0 1 1:1 0
E. Total n Utter Insanity 0 0 0 2 2:4 -2

the following actions happened between the hours of 8pm and 9pm.

Doomhammer is on his computer looking at his horoscope. S. Sam walks in with some paper in his hand.

SS: your not on that chartroom again. You know full well that you can't go into teen chartrooms! Last time the police had a field day and the newspapers. I mean...

DH: For the final time. I DIDN’T USE THE INTERNET TO CHAT TO YOUNG SCHOOLGIRLS! I’m on a football web site if you must know.

SS: what for? You know everything to know about El Cid’s football.

DH: I’m debating on the largest football web site on the ECTH interweb. www.ihatedoomhammer.com. You will knot believe the check of this people. Could you listen to a few?

SS: if you’ll shut up about the Internet then ok.

DH: one says, “Doomhammer is the worst manager this team has ever had. He is an arrogant arse who has more teeth then brain cells.” that’s a tad cold don’t you think?

SS: A little. Any more?

DH: another says, “Doomhammer has always been below average and now that he’s stooped attending the teams training session he is next to useless.”

SS: why did you stop attending the training sessions anyway?

DH: Objects were thrown at me every time I walked onto the pitch.

SS: oh yes. The flying vegetable incident. What else does he say?

DH: another post says “I would love to spend time with Doomhammer with a large set of pliers and several tins of hot superglue. The next 50 or so posts are people saying what they would do to me if the trapped me in a room

SS: yep. They sure hate you. To bad theirs nothing you can do about it.

DH: There must be something. Come-on and help. And idea will do.

SS: there is nothing you can do to stop people bitching over the Internet. In short of doing a Jay and silent Bob go round to all their house and beat the living crap out of them.

DH: Ok then.

To: Alvin Ker <a_ker@asword.gov.rd>
From: <chrisgwee011804@dotnet.com.rd>
Subject: matches so far

sorry that i had to use my personal email, it seems the club's network is down at the moment.. and sorry again that i havent been keeping you posted personally.. your department has been giving me so much paperwork, i can't keep track of it, can't you tell your people to stop it? i've enough work on my hands training my boys, the last thing i need is more work.

anyway, as you should know already, one red dot has been a roaring success in this WC22. only ONE loss during the qualifying, the hard work i put my boys through has definitely shown. damn CH... oh well, but the fact of the matter is, we are through to round 1 as always. we won against gaian ascendancy 2-0.. they were pretty much easy opponents (i would like to say small fry, but you never know when some might get to see this email message and perhaps get offended).. next was against D2R, we drew 1-1.. a little damper nonetheless, but that means we are still in the running to qualify for that ever-elusive round 2.. last match is against rejistania.. just one of those nations you don't want in the group.. they've already won 2 matches and i'm sure they're hungry to complete their clean sweep off all 3 matches.

now, if i'm not wrong, if we win or even draw against rejistania, we qualify. if D2R loses or draws against gaian ascendancy, we qualify too, even if we lose against reji, so that will be excellent. but i feel that both cases are unlikely. the most likely case is we lose and D2R win... so if that happens, then we musn't lose concede too many goals, otherwise D2R will sneak past on GD... and it will be like all the previous WCs where the 3rd place team sneaks up on GD.

well, you'll hear from us soon after our match against reji, and if you don't then probably you'll read it in a newspaper, either Dottian or slani rejistanian.

The Daily Druid

1-2, TREE!
Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po on Squornshelous 1 Druida 2

An Eric Tree inspired victory over Squornshelous means that Druida can go into their final group game against Cockbill Street with a second round place in the bag.

Tree's performance was as brilliant as it was unexpected from one of Druida's less renowned internationals. However, all the doubters will have been put right now. The first came when Tree stole the ball off Alexander Popov as he was about to shoot, before tha ball was passed around a somewhat static Pschychoes defence before the ball ended up back at Tree's feet, and he slotted it home to take a first-half lead.

However, the rainbows were demoralised going in at half time, as Popov struck home a brilliant shot from 25 yards after taking on Orange and Cwulodden. You could see it on their faces as they trudged off.

Again, the second half was pretty even, and it could have gone either way. Popov and Perez forcing good saves out of Elmo van der Hesselvenatchov, while Montenegro and Defnyddiwch were their usual selves, and with Tree's help, they produced no end of trouble for their opponents backline.

In the end, it was sloppy defending that let Druida in for the winner. An Eric Tree corner headed home by an unmarked Trefor Montenegro, and, coupled with Jeruselem and Cockbill Street's draw, we're through! Only the third time a team from the Druidish Lands has gotten this far! And we have a 100% record at that stage, so here's hoping it stay that way, eh?

Final score:
Druida 2 (Tree 35, Montenegro 88)
Squornshelous 1 (Popov 43)

<insert stadium here>, Legalese

Coach Darren Redner: We may have only drawn against Sarzonia, but this only proves that the va’karela—uh, I mean, this only proves how loyal our team is to stopping enemy attacks!

Assistant Coach (and national CEO) Matthew Sparks: You want to talk to me about loyalty? After you broke your oath to the States, lied to the people of Commerce Heights, ordered one of our own players to defend another? No, you don’t have the right to talk about loyalty!

Redner and team (in unison): Shut up, Sparky!

Sparks: Do you know what the problem is, Coach?

Redner: Uh…no?

Sparks: The problem is Commerce Heights! In the capital, there is no poverty, no crime, no war! You look out the window of the Capitol Tower and you see paradise. Well, it’s easy to be a saint in paradise! But the team does not live in paradise! There are no saints—they’re just people!

Redner: Mr. CEO, what the slani hell is wrong with you?

Sparks: There’s nothing wrong with me! You may not like my ideas, but you can’t just…destroy them! They’re…in…(points) here, do you…understand? You can’t…destroy…an idea! (falls to floor)

Hipólito Pereda helps Sparks up off of the floor.

Redner: Stay out of this, Pereda!

Pereda: No…he’s right!

Redner: Go clean up the accent walls!

Sparks (running towards Redner, to attack): NO! Your father made you wrong! You created the va’karela’ny, you destroyed your team!

Redner punches Sparks as he gets close, knocking him out.

Redner: Well, that’s enough of that for now…say, I wonder if Mr. Dalton’s men have modified our little secret to only work on the opponent? I’d better check, since it’s our only chance—wait, why am I talking to myself! Sparky’s disease must be contagious—interesting! Armageddon will have to wait for another day!

Barry Owens walked onto the pitch of The Castle, hours before the final match of the round with Commerce Heights. As he felt the grass beneath his shoes, he thought about the situation that lay ahead. To advance, Legalese needed to make something happen tonight. Standing in a dead heat for second, with group leaders Sarzonia at the top, meant that anything was possible tonight.

Well, one thing's for certain, Barry corrected himself, A loss will get us nowhere.

It was odd to see Legalese, hosting their group after the crisis in South Osettia, playing somewhere other than Legalese National, for sure. The 80,000-plus seat stadium had been the host of every match played by the nationals on their own soil. Barry was there for the first one, back during World Cup XVIII qualifying, when Legalese shocked the world, and his beloved Sarzonia, with a victory, then few and far between. However, that hallowed ground had shown to not be very friendly to the Black and Red, especially during the most recent rematch with Sarzonia, just days before.

And so Owens took the Black and Red on a tour of sorts, convincing the LAFC to assign different pitches to them for all three matches. Robinson Memorial was given a chance to welcome the hosts, as they succeeded over Hirraan, placing the two in a tie for second in the group. Meanwhile, Commerce Heights, tonight's opponent, earned their first points on the coast of Bekk Lake, drawing with Sarzonia, in front of the crowd at Sagdineo's John Murphy Field.

Barry continued his walk to the endline, inspecting the entire grass, as the lineup formed in his head. He saw the match being played, over and over, as the names scrolled through: Masterson and Shipton up top; Vasquez manning the middle with Mox and Dicello; on the flanks at outer mids would be Martin and Wilmette; Wilson, Smith, and Gregory would keep the ball out of the back, with Sharpton guarding the net.

Within the next few hours, the crowd would start pouring in, filling the retractable roof arena to its capacity of 95,000, most of them clad in black and red. The thought put a grin on Barry's face.

Let's give them hell tonight, he thought. Let's give them hell.

As he walked back to the clubhouse, Barry grabbed the head of operations at The Castle. "Make sure you guys close the roof tonight", he said. "I want to hear that crowd echo."

Insanician 1: 0-0-2. Fook.

Insanician 2: World Number 1 and we can't even win.

Insanician 1: It's the curse, it is.

Insanician 2: No bloomin' way. That Liverpool England ref in the Krytenia match disallowed 3 flammin' goals. It's thems trying to get back at us for all the disparaging remarks over the years.

Insanician 1: Fookin' barstar's.

Insanician 2: Too right, I wouldn't be surprised if we ended up 0-0-3.

Insanician 1: That's it. We are hosting another World Cup and screwing them o'er.

Insanician 2: Too right, I wouldn't be surprised if we ended up 0-0-3.

Insanicians Not Surprised, Not Surprised At All
Starblaydia are Unbeaten in 14 Consecutive World Cup Games

Starblaydia progressed to the Second Round of the World Cup Finals for only the third time in six attempts with a win over the current Number One-ranked team in the World.

Totally n Utterly Predicted by the long-suffering Insanician fans, Starblaydia beat the supposed 'best-team-in-the-world' by a goal to nil. Starblaydis would have come away wondering quite how they managed to pull off the win, though the opposing fans will have been wondering if the referee, his assistants and the fourth official had all been accepting brown paper envelopes from un der a table. Or they could just be blind, or perhaps only see in the various shades of purple.

"Their forward probably wasn't offside on five minutes," Captain Khim Azanulbizarn said after the match, "as I think I was playing him on. I don't think it was an intentional handball in our box by their captain after twenty minutes, so that should have been 2-0. Every time we fouled them on the halfway line, instead of playing actual advantage, the refs just brought it back for a free kick every single time. It was weird. Then 'Slani' going down the penalty area, well, if you've asked the question of the referee in that situation, then sometimes you can expect to get lucky, and I think Syku did. Matrana, one nil, job's a good 'un."

"I wasn't going to miss that oppurtunity," said 31 year-old Nick Matranga, "I've come to World Cup Finals for the past twelve years, and i've scored in every one of them. I had to take the pen."

Nick Matranga's Incredible Scoring Record

World Cup 19 in Turori and The Belmore Family
Group B - Matchday 2
Home - Away Starblaydi Scorers
Starblaydia 2-2 Nova Britannicus Azanulbizarn, Matranga


World Cup 20 in Starblaydia and Druida
Group A - Matchday 3
Home - Away Starblaydi Scorers
Starblaydia 3-1 One Red Dot Naoki, Matranga, Belizaire


World Cup 21 in Lethislavania and Cockbill Street
Group E - Matchday 1
Home - Away Starblaydi Scorers
Starblaydia 1-2 South Osettia Matranga


World Cup 22 in Liverpool England, Vilita and Legalese
Group 6 - Matchday 3
Home - Away Starblaydi Scorers
Starblaydia 1-0 Total n Utter Insanity Matranga

Starblaydia's next match in the Second Round will now be against long-term Regional Rivals Sarzonia, who Starblaydia are also about to play in the 8th Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football. This should be an excellent match for all concerned, and hopefully will see Starblaydia progressing to the Quarter-Finals for only the second time in their history since the heady days of World Cup 17, where every team we played there now seems to have fallen into ruination and obscurity.

Stars silence Hiiraan, sharpen 'Blades'

Sarzonia Coach Dave Wilson had harsh words for Hiiraan and a press corps that has consistently "written more checks than its team could cash" at the beginning of World Cup qualifying. Wilson's blunt assessment of Hiiraan had players worried about Hiiraan using them as bulletin board fodder.

After Sarzonia's 1-0 win over Hiiraan to clinch the Group G championship, they started worrying about a Starblaydia side they haven't beaten since World Cup XVII qualifying.

"It felt good to beat that team," Wilson said of Hiiraan. "With Commerce Heights winning, we're going to send the two highest rated sides from our group into the knockouts. I felt bad for Barry [Owens, Legalese coach and Sarzonia's former top assistant coach], but I'm glad we're on to the knockouts."

Goalkeeper Horace Sandt continued his dominant play throughout the World Cup tournament, turning aside six shots and getting into the heads of Hiiraani shooters by playing angles aggressively. He even notched an assist with a well-hit long ball to forward Brian Wilson for a 43rd minute goal that was all Sandt needed to notch the victory.

The Stars (2-1-0, seven points in Finals play) prepare to face a Starblaydi side they have only beaten twice -- during World Cup XVII group play, in both the World Cup Round of 16 and in AOCAF tournament play. The Stars are clearly hoping to win the World Cup match, but with two different sides playing the matches, some players are just hoping to avoid being swept.

"We have a horrible record against the Blades," Brian Wilson said. "We need to turn that around."

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

NOT THIS TIME SAYS MERTESACKER
Hat trick from striker takes down Krytenia

Svecia 3:0 Krytenia

It was one time too many for Krytenia. Twice defeated at their hands in qualifying, Svecia decided to step it up a notch yesterday, and led by striker Fabian Mertesacker´s hattrick, qualified for the second round.

Mertesacker´s header in the 12 minute silenced the Krytenia half of the stadium, which until that point had been taunting the Svecians about the qualifying matches. Now it was the yellow side´s turn to cheer.

He added to that scoreline in the 39th minute with another header, again silencing the Krytenia half, whose urgin forward of their team was beginning to gain some results as Krytenia began to pepper the Svecikan goal with shots.

But after halftime it was all Svecia. The Lightning outshot Krytenia 12 to 3 in the second half alone, 19 to 9 for the game, and outpossessed Krytenia by almost double.

Mertesacker finished off his hat trick in the 74th on an unassisted volley from the right side of the goal that gave no chance to the keeper, and was substituted 4 minutes later to a standing ovation from the Svecians.

Svecia and Starblaydia, who defeated the hapless Insanicans 1-0, will go through to the second round. This is the first time the Lightning have gone to the second round in two consecutive World Cups since WC17-18. Their country has high hopes for the Lightning.

[Music plays as footage of a football match is shown. A die-hard Bedistani football enthusiast might recognize it as being from the game against Svecia in World Cup 5 qualifying. Cut to another scene, showing many of the same players in a different location. This is from the Bedistan-Svecia third-place match of WC7. Music builds to a crescendo as the BSTV logo and the WC22 emblem appear on the screen. Music fades and the camera zooms in once again on two men sitting behind a desk.]

Ed: Good evening, everybody, and welcome to BSTV Sports Tonight. I'm Ed Franklin...

Marty: ...and I'm Marty Lewis. Good to be here once again.

Ed: Well, the Lions appear to have done the impossible, successfully scraping out a point against Tadjikistan, which combined with the Turori-Spurland draw, sends Turori and Bedistan through to the second round of World Cup XXII. Give us a quick rundown of that match, Marty.

Marty: No problem. In the first half, Bedistan's offense had trouble getting up to speed as they were being pressed hard by the Tigers. Play frequently got bogged down in the midfield, and Carpenter, Vantrease, and Dean pretty much didn't see the ball before halftime. Nil-all at the half, but Tadjikistan quickly changed that when Gasparian fired a shot at the Bedistani keeper. Reagan managed to turn it behind the goal for a corner kick, but Koshevoi headed the corner beautifully into the upper right corner for 1-0. Bedistan coach Mike Davidson performed a substitution, changing formation to a 3-5-2. This seemed to help the Lions out tremendously in the midfield, and Vanessa Carpenter, recently retired from Vimesbairn United and playing in her final World Cup, managed to score the equalizer in the 63rd minute. Bedistan shifted gears again, dropping back further on defense, and the Tigers couldn't get anything else going, so 1-1 is how it stayed.

Ed: Nicely done. Anyway, as I said, Bedistan manages to advance to the second round on virtue of somehow pulling off a second-place finish despite a less-than-spectacular performance. So who do we face, Marty?

Marty: Svecia.

Ed: Svecia! Wow, now tell me that hasn't been a long time ago. We haven't played the Lightning since the prehistoric age, it seems.

Marty: Well, World Cup VII was a pretty long time back...

Ed: Yes, there's going to be a lot of history in this matchup. We haven't played against Svecia in sixty years, but the last time we faced them was in the third-place playoff of World Cup VII, an undreamed-of height for the Lions at the time. Alas, we lost that match one-nil.

Marty: And there's also another big piece of footballing history between us and Svecia.

Ed: Really? What's that?

Marty: The very first competitive match the Bedistan national team played, seventy years ago at the beginning of World Cup V qualifying, was against Svecia.

Ed: No kidding?

Marty: No kidding. We lost three-one, by the way.

Ed: Wow. So it's an old-school matchup of the geriatrics - Bedistan v Svecia in the second round. I can bet whatever stadium that's in will be packed. But that's all the time we have for tonight. For Marty Lewis, I'm Ed Franklin. Good night.

thsd:NEWS
VILITA COVE EDITION

Lightning Forking Qualify

NORMAL service has been well and truly resumed here in Vilita, as the Caleys were absolutely demolished by Svecia. The Svecikans poured vengence from every pore, every orifice, as they rolled Krytenia over by three goals to nil to kill the Caleys' hopes of qualifying for Round Two and atone for the two defeates Krytenia laid upon them in the prelims. Once again, Krytenia are home before their postcards, but at least they can take solace from breaking their duck and grabbing the elusive W on Matchday Two.

In related news, five arrests have been made at the Nwoko Sports Bar in Yeaddin after fighting broke out. The bar, owned by a Krytenian couple and renamed after the late KBS commentator John Nwoko, had found infamy in its previous incarnation as the bar where Nwoko was assaulted by Xilean fans during AOCAF II. Two Svecikan fans suffered superficial injuries in the incident.

Svecia - 3
Krytenia - 0

The Daily Druid

AW, NO!
Bill Posters on Cockbill Street 1 Druida 0

Damn! Damn! Oh, damn it! Only 1-0!?!?! That is such a disappointing scoreline! Why couldn't we lose 4-0 or something? We were through already, so what difference would it make?

Well, a lot of difference, actually. Because now we have to play Rejistania. Oh, yippee. If we'd have got tonked by the Streeters, we'd be facing up against Liverpool England, Eauz or even blummin' Raptor Claw! But no.

So, how have we done against the Junis-Omeh in the past? Well, you might be surprised to hear that there's only been two full internationals between Rejistania and teams from the Druidish Lands.


IRC1 (CS) Rejistania 1-0 NEWI Cefn Druids
WC19 (TBF) Rejistania 2-2 NEWI Cefn Druids

Not much to go on is there. Except that Rejistanians say that, having not made it past the group stage at World Cup 19, that the last one never happened. And the other one was a friendly tournament, so not much to read into there at all.

What about our lands' record at this stage of the World Cup? Well, NEWI Cefn Druids did OK, but since the changeover, nothing much to shout about.


WC16 R2 (Rejis) Brazillico 2-3 NEWI Cefn Druids
WC19 R2 (TBF) Eauz 0-1 NEWI Cefn Druids
WC19 R2 (Turori) Dance 2 Revolution 1-0 Druida

So, looking at that, as we've not gotten this far very often before, maybe history isn't a good indicator.

So what is? Well, Druids traditionally suck and play very attack-minded football (can you name a half-decent Druid defender since the beginning of time? Thought not...), whilst Rejistanians are famous for being damn good and overtly defensive. So I guess we'll see Druida taking the game to their opponents, before scoring an own goal and losing 1-0.

Oh, damn!



BEDISTANI KIDS RETURNED, SUSPECT HELD
By Trevor Evans

The two Bedisani boys who had been mysteriously kidnapped have been safely returned to their homes. The two, who have had their identities protected by their families, were drugged and forced to play computer games by two "shifty looking men".

Only one man has so far been held in assocciation with the crime. His identity is also unknown, but it is widely believed that it is the former Druidan Intelligence Serviceman known only as Dave.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Unnamed helper (putting down his newspaper): "The sneaky bastard!"

President Smith: "What is it?"

Unnamed helper: "You know that Dave? The DIS we got back?"

President Smtih: "Uhuh?"

Unnamed helper: "Turns out he's been kidnapping kids in Bedistan."

President Smtih: "I thought that was your plan?"

Unnamed helper: "Well, it kind of was... but he's taken it over for himself. I haven't heard from him for a week now!"

President Smith: "Well, if you ask me, he deserves everything he gets."

Unnamed helper: "I couldn't agree mo... Sir... come over here!"

President Smith: "Why? Has our pizza arrived?"

Unnamed helper: "We... er... haven't ordered a pizza, sir."

President Smith: "We haven't?"

Unnamed helper: "No."

President Smith: "Oh. It's not one of those kids playing on the lawns again, is it?"

Unnamed helper: "Sir, just come over here!"

President Smith: "OK, but if it's just for another one of those crazy protesters who think that Margaret really isn't a man's name, I'll... GREAT SCOTT!!! What is it?"

Unnamed helper: "I don't know, sir. Whatever it is, it's going at quite a speed. Westwards, it looks like."

President Smith: "Do you think we could contact it?"

Unnamed helper: "We'd have to contact VOIA in Vilita."

President Smith: "Best not get anyone else involved."

Unnamed helper: "Sir, it's heading in their direction anyway."

President Smith: "Still, best not say anything."

Unnamed helper: "OK, sir. Whatever you say."

Coach Siki Rej came to the press as if he expected the reporters to bring sticks and beat him up, or the monks (even though that would be attacking and due to that unkarelan). Failure is no good idea in a dictatorship by lunatics. Siki Rej could bite into his own @$$: The Orange-Blues played not bad, not as in World Cup 19 for example or in even World Cup 10 (Siki has the files of nearly every soccer match in Rejistania), where the team played so bad that 'abysmal' is putting it mildly. This time, the Orange-Blues had this three unfortunate situations: The 100% chance, which was parried narrowly, and this two problems is the defense leading to the 0:2. The problem is that there is a difference between good matches and successfull matches.

"We had some unfortunate situations, situations in which the team acted in a noncorrect way. I think the level of skill of this team is quite high, but I do understand that there is a difference between playing good and winning. WE take this match as a warning never to stop enivalenke*... err to improve. We made mistakes here, but is is better in this match then in the match against Druida."

Somehow he survived the press conference, later he could not remember how. He hates losses and to make it worse, this was the first loss under the new government. Now he was in his bed and just wanted to fall into the comfort of sleep. Suddenly the phone rang. Normally, it is not easy to ignore a ringing phone, but we must not forget that Siki is pretty experienced in doing so. You can imagine that the phone rings for quite a while until even Siki was annoyed by it.

"Rejsi su?" (yes, he uses his username to call himself)
"Are you awake?" (the voice is using a weird accent)
"No, I am still sleeping!"
"We are not satisfied with the first and the last match in group stage!"
"..."
"Are you still here?"
"No, I threw the phone out of the window!"
"Did you hear me?"
"Guess why I threw the phone out of the window!"
"If you want to keep your job, comply!"
"There is a bug in Hexatux and I can not fix it from here, losses happen and I did not do it intentionally!"
"Well, either the next match is a win, or you are in deep trouble, understood?"
"Well, either I get my sleep, or I won't be awake tomorrow and slani things more!"
"Then dream of Karela!" (and hangs up)
Siki slams the phone down and murmurs some insults.

At the same time, a dark figure puts down the phone. He writes something into a folder and then closes it. Its name is written in Mock Welsh and means translated: 'psychological warfare'

*He makes the interview in Rejistanian, but uses the majuvedian term here.

Fan Report: Crystilakere win Group A

The Crystils continued their unbeaten run from qualifying by posting a perfect record in the world cup 22 group stage. Toader Pold and Filippo Ferraro scored against Oaker, while Noel Adiguzel scored all three goals against Wella. The first win over Audioslavia almost secured Crystilakere to be in the second round, while victories over Oaker and Wella added the Crystils to the list of true contenders to make a good run at the world cup final. The first team that the Crystils must now face in the knockout stage will be Raptor Claw.

Fan Quotes on Toader Pold

"Always in the right place at the right time. Pold is just the type of player that is needed for internationals. He finishes what the other guys set up."

"This joke of a striker does not even deserve to wear the Crystilakere colors. He keeps his place in the squad because he's been around longer than some of the youngsters. So what if he can score goals. He does not contribute anything all game long otherwise."

Fan Quotes on Noel Adiguzel

"The most inconsistent player in Crystilakere. Any time he steps on the field we risk him being a major flop and costing us everything."

"Yea he scores three goals against a crappy team and gets lots of good remarks, so the manager keeps him in for an important game and he sits around and plays with his shorts. Save him for the qualifiers and keep the real strikers on the field for the important games."

Fan Quotes on Oaker

"Oaker needed to get a point against us and we shut them down. Our defense is still one of the best in the world and our keeper proved that Emiliano Addis is not the only one who can block a shot in our country."

"Oaker is one of those teams that you never know who will show up. Theres the Oaker who will show up and show you up, or the Oaker that will show up then get showed up. Luckily for us we showed them up. Next time we play them it might be different."

"Wait, which Oaker? There was a bunch of them out there. Oh, you mean the whole group of them? I'm so confused."

Fan Quotes on Wella

"We we're already qualified and the manager put out some of the subs to give them a run out, and we still ran them over. They should have let some new energetic team in the finals instead of this waste of space."

"I didn't watch the game, we were already qualified, I was just here for the beer."

Fan Quotes on second round opponents Raptor Claw

"Holy crap they aren't extinct yet? What about the meteor and all that, didn't that kill them off. Oh well, humans are far superior. So what if they are deadly with big claws and whatever else dinosaurs do, we've got stuff that will shut them up."

"If we can beat Audioslavia and Oaker, then we can beat Raptor Claw with our eyes closed. I'll be watching the other match to see who we play in the next round."

"Raptor Claw has got to be the lowest ranked team left in the cup. That's no reason to take them lightly. This is the world cup finals now and one loss will end it for us, so we must put out our best players. If that means we win the game big then great we win big. We can't risk it now."

Matchday 3 scores (Groups A to D (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8851536&postcount=22), Groups E to H (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=8855594&postcount=23)) are now posted.

~ A Draw with a learning curve ~


~ Final Match Day
Rejistania 0 One Red Dot 2
Dance 2 Revolution 1 Gaian Ascendancy 1


GANN Sports Desk: ~ It took three matches longer than it should have, and the end result was something to gloss over for those that expected a total dump by the Seraphims, but in the end, the Gaians take that next step to the real crown.

A 1-1 draw with D2R made the Gaians feel good, that they could at least draw with one of the big teams, still giving them confidence for the future. The fact they did it coming from behind for much of the match, with Andersen's 61st minute equalizer matching the early 9th minute drubbing D2R pulled. Still a draw is 'not' a loss. And at this level, knowing that can give a team real hope.

"Next time, we're looking for the next level. No turning back." ..was what was said once more by Andersen, speaking for a team that now heads back home to play friendlies until it's next chance comes. With no CoH, the Gaians this time have a longer breathing time to get ready for their next oppritunity.

"You're all probablys sick of us saying it. But if were still called upstarts, then it'll continue to be said.

Every match is experience we garner, and every result takes us one step closer to hoisting the Wolrd Cup trophy itself. One day, we 'will' hoist that Cup, and when that day comes, we'll point back, and say 'this' was the road that got us here.

So I'll keep saying it till I'm blue in the face. I got genetic reformating medicine to to help me keep young for a 'long' time until that day comes.

I even have a space on my finger reserved for that 'eventual' result. I believe in it 'that' much. So I'll keep repeating." ..a determined Kerensky said on to reporters.

..and yet once more, for now, the campaign ends early. The Gaians in the end did better this time around, losing only three times, and drawing six times, mainly against hgh caliber squads. For now, the goal is improvement. Eventually, that will lead to ultimate glory.

...and no road like this is ever easy. such is the drink at the end so much sweeter.


~ World Cup 22

Group 11:
MD1 - D
Slaikau v. Gaian Ascendancy (0 - 0)
MD2 - D
Gaian Ascendancy v. Kylaai (2 - 2)
MD3 - D
Vilita v. Gaian Ascendancy (0 - 0)
MD4 - W
Davistand v. Gaian Ascendancy (0 - 3)
MD5 - W
Gaian Ascendancy v. Bestiville (3 - 1)
MD6 - D
Gaian Ascendancy v. Slaikau (1 - 1)
MD7 - D
Kylaai v. Gaian Ascendancy (0 - 0)
MD8 - L
Gaian Ascendancy v. Vilita (2 - 3)
MD9 - W
Gaian Ascendancy v. Davistand (1 - 0)
MD10 - W
Bestiville v. Gaian Ascendancy (0 - 2)

Second Round - Group 2:
MD1 - L
One Red Dot v. Gaian Ascendancy (2 - 1)
MD2 - L
Rejistania v. Gaian Ascendancy (2 - 0)
MD3 - D
Dance 2 Revolution v. Gaian Ascendancy (1 - 1)


So, four years from now, expect a Seraphim team back for the holy essence that is the World Cup. Meanwhile, Red Dot and Rejistania are cheered on from their group, and the now begun CoH XIV will be looked upon for the next successor of their own trophy.

And the soccer world and universe continues to move on.

Terminators qualify first in group
Face familiar foes in second round

It's official, Syku Lyku (whose contract at the FALE is scheduled to expire before the quarterfinals of this cup) has kept his job without being the recipient of an early termination - that fate happening to the previous three managers - when Liverpool England, celebrating 5 billion citizens, managed to claim a sloppy 1-0 win over The Lowland Clans, putting them in first on goals scored.

Lyku [see side article], who had been warned that failure to qualify was grounds for an early end to his contract, put out a Karela-like formation, playing 1-5-3-1, creating history in the process. This was the first time Liverpool England had played with more than five defenders (six), and the first time a sweeper had been used for the team.

The score at half time was 0-0, but having received word that Eauz were leading Raptor Claw 1-0 at half time, the team knew that only a win would put them through. Then came the news as the team was about to head back out - Raptor Claw had equalised at the start of the second half, meaning that a score draw would be enough to secure qualification.

That knowledge wasn't needed; two minutes later the linesman ruled a Lowland Clans goal offside when it clearly wasn't, and four minutes later the other linesman flagged for a penalty when the handball had taken place outside the area, putting The Lowland Clans down to ten men and effectively a goal down.

The goal was converted, and it stayed that way - the scoreboard in the stadium simultaneously showing the Raptor Claw-Eauz result, giving hope to the team, who held on for the precious win. They go on to meet Squornshelous in the second round.

[SIDE ARTICLE]
Syku Lyku: A Profile
Name: Syku Lyku
Nationality: Rejistanian
Current Contract: Liverpool England national manager, WC20 Q - WC22 QF
Possible Contract Extension: until WC23 Q
Notes: First Rejistanian to play abroad when Orean United signed him circa WCXII. Also the Terminators' 4th foreign coach in recent times, after Guy Picciotto (Oglethorpian, WC14), Ha~e Hangila (Rejistanian, now with the FALE as technical director, WC15-18) and Ralph Sirx (Abysmali, later Chacoran, WC18 - WC19)

The Daily Druid

RAINBOWS TO WITHDRAW?
Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po on a crisis at the DFA

Druida's position in World Cup 22 in Liverpool England was thrown into doubt last night as the DFA staged a protest against Audioslavia being allowed into the Second Round over Oaker, despite the two finishing with identical records.

"Why?" said the Guy In Charge Of Football In Druida. "It's not fair on the Oaker Sharks. Their players have done just as well as Audioslavia's, but they don't get the reward. On what basis was this decision made? Because the Audioslavians tried harder, had more of that RP stuff? I wouldn't stand for it if it was us going through, and I certainly won't stand for it if someone better than us goes through!"

Proposal #999 Article E states that tiebreaks be decided on "Points then GD then GF then record against tied team then whatever method the hosts deem fit." The official word from the Vilitan hosts is that, indeed, it is on having more of "that RP stuff, as that stupid drunkass Druidan dude puts it." However, a representitive from Liverpool England, despite not giving the DFA a ringing endorsement behind their complaint, did say he "understood where they were coming from."

And so it leaves a conundrum of what the DFA will do next. Will they withdraw their team before the Rejistania game, because they have no option, or could it all be mind games to try to make the other teams believe that they can take it easier against a team that might not even bother to turn up. I certainly wouldn't like to say anything on the matter, we'll leav eit to the DFA.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

At a coal mine in Coleford

Miner #1: "Damn Kingsfordians, taking all our business away from us. We're not going to have any work left!"

Miner #2: "I know. Sometimes I wish we could have a proper economy like we used to have, then we could be competitive again. I get the feeling President Smith doesn't even realise we have an economy."

Miner #1: "Are you sober?"

Miner #2: "Yeah. Sorry."

Miner #1: "No, no. I just want you to make sure that thing up there is actually... y'know, up there."

Miner #2: "Looks like it to me."

Miner #1: "Blimey."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In the presidential office...

President Smith: "So do you have anymore of these ingenious ideas for us to win this damned cup?"

Unnamed helper: "Well, actually, I am working on something."

President Smith: "You are?"

Unnamed helper: "Yes."

President Smith: "Nothing dodgy again, I hope."

Unnamed helper: "I wouldn't say it was that dodgy, no."

President Smith: "Good good."

Unnamed helper: "Sir, do you know what time it is in Liverpool England right now?"

President Smith: "Nope."

Unnamed helper: "You should do. I bought you a World Clock last birthday."

President Smith: "Oh, so you did. Um... it says, um, well, it's 3 o'clock. Can't tell if that's a.m. or p.m., but it's 3 o'clock, at least."

Unnamed helper: "Well my basic knowledge of World geography leads me to believe that it is, indeed, 3 a.m. there. Excuse me sir, I just need to make a feww calls..."

Insanicians show support

To show there support for a just cause, namely Audioslavia not getting through to the next round, the Insanicians withdrew from the world cup.

When it was pointed out that Liverpool England had already cheated the Insanicians out of 9 goals and the Cup, the response was thus:

"Screw you."

The Aeropag Tribune—Remember Sirius D! 7 Apr 30 – 7 Apr 62

Quote of the Day™:
“There are no Capitalizt infidels in Chrysaestos. Never!”
—Emperor Timotheus (Aquilla), 7 Apr 30, during the Battle of Sirius D

World Cup: Legalese pummeled on home soil
Eerie coincidences await Redner, team in second round
LEGALESE—The roar of 95 000 screaming fans echoed under a closed roof at The Castle yesterday [Ed.: two days ago]. 90 000 of those fans cheered for the Black and Red of Legalese. The home field turned out to be a massive advantage, causing the worst Capitalizt turnout since the World Cup 12 second-round match against—and in—Lemmitania. As the opponent came onto the field, they were as excited as the crowd, eager to—as the Aquillans would say—“pwn” the Capitalizts. But soon after the opening kickoff, when Jack Dalton, CEO of the traitorous TechConGroup, was spotted talking to coach Darren Redner, they seemed to be possessed—almost like a CDA cadet being exposed to a va’karela. Soon after this happened, they pulled back, just as they were preparing to shoot at the goal. Ronny Zulkifli quickly took advantage of this and advanced on the tightening formation, scoring the first goal.
We don’t know what the Legalese coach said at halftime, but it must have been good, since the players looked as sharp as at the start of the game when they came out. However, the Capitalizts wore them down again, and were able to score again on a withdrawing Legalese formation in the 54th minute. Both teams played the remainder of the match defensively, and the score stayed 2–0.
The win was enough to land the Capitalizts in the second round for the first time since World Cup 16. Coincidentally, their opponent will be Vilita, the same team that the Capitalizts beat 2–0 in—you guessed it—World Cup 16 (only to lose to a certain other team 0–3). Coach Redner stated in a press conference that it was “too soon to tell” if the Capitalizts could beat the Jungle Cats, especially if the match is, like yesterday’s [Ed.: again, two days ago], played at home. He also refused to coment on “ridiculous” accusations that TechConGroup modified a va’karela to fix the Legalese match.
[Ed.: Another coincidence is that at the very moment that our skilled team of journalists began working on this article, a large thunderstorm hit Aeropag, causing billions of simoleons in hail damage and delaying the publication of this issue of the Tribune by a day while Aeropag Energy Corporation restored power.]
Commerce Heights 2 (Zulkifli 5, Jong 54)
Legalese 0—FT

OOC: Power outages are not fun…slani socialist utilities…

Street Bow Out
1-0 Win Was Never Gonna Be Enough

Despite an early goal by Rhianna Peters, Cockbill Street's and Druida's players gave up trying to entertain the crowd and played out the second half to a bore draw at Orean yesterday. With Squornshelous easing to a 1-0 win over Jeruselem, Cockbill Street's efforts were futile, and Druida didn't want to engineer a 0-4 loss. Thus, the last match of the group stage goes into history since the Lyku-team defeated Rejistania 1-0 in World Cup 20.

Thus, despite having four points and the third-best record of a knocked-out team, Cockbill Street is out of the World Cup again. They share this fate with Eauz, Total n Utter Insanity and Oaker, just to name three teams that got far in the last World Cup, but manager Christine Andrews admitted that "we just didn't work hard enough. We let ourselves down when we lost 3-1 to 3-3 against Jeruselem, and I think that stuck against Druida. We never really bothered. I'm really disappointed in everyone, but at the same time we shouldn't linger too much in defeat. What's important now is getting to the World Cup in four years - wherever that may be."

Indeed, that is a good question. The only candidate appears to be Total n Utter Insanity - a nation that admittedly has hosted fifteen Under-21 World Cups and two senior World Cups to good effect, but the only thing they've said so far is that there should be "fun and laugher for all". Interpreting "laugher" as "laughter", we suppose this means that everybody wins and gets off happy, which means the Insanicians have to produce 90-odd Cups to the winners. Interesting.

COCKBILL STREET 1 (Peters 9)
DRUIDA 0

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/logo.gif
Vilita through to second round
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif
Vilita Goalscorers::
14' Callum Banda
51' Riccardo Appolloni
http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/aofiles/rp/bar.gif

-------------------The Vilita Jungle Cats rose to the occasion at The Shultis in Lonngeylin, Vilita when they hosted the Not-So Lovable Lovisans in the crunch game of their World Cup FInals grouping. Lovisa sat atop the group with a perfect record heading into the match, and Vilita knew they needed to gather at least a draw to keep the hungry El Cid the Hero-ians behind them. It was Vilitan goalkeeper of the year Jimmy Kater who rose to the occasion, making a trio of impressive saves in the opening ten minutes to keep the scoreline empty.

-------------------It was soon after against the run of play that the Lovisan attack was silenced through the right foot of Callum Banda. Vilita's all-time top scorer notched yet another to his impressive record and it was clear that he might be on his way to one day reaching 100 career international goals. Banda was fed through on the counter attack by defender Ricky Ezis, and even at his age was able to outpace the neglectant Lovisan backline and easily convert the 1-0 goal in favor of the hosts.

-------------------After a ten minute period with little action to note, Lovisa once again began to pressure Jimmy Kater in the Vilita net. A defensive error by Niccolo Mazzeo saw the Lovisan attack through with their best chance of the game, but Jimmy Kater managed to get a finger tip on the great Lovisan effort, and watched the ball kareem off the inside of the post and luckily back out into play where it was cleared by the effective Ezis.

-------------------The Vilitans held off their opponents until the half time whistle, but were clearly outplayed for much of the period and would have to do better if they were going to secure their place in the second round. At half time, it was clear that head coach Helmut Vilkaous had some changes on his mind, but in the end only one was made. Vilkaous opted for more of a presence in midfield, introducing Jacques Vintila for the relatively poor Niccolo Mazzeo, and pushing Daniel Oram back into the defensive line.

-------------------The changes seemed to prove instantly successful as it was Vintila who provided the cross for Riccardo Appolloni to head a rejuvinated Jungle Cat side further ahead in the 51st minute. With the second goal of the game Vilita now looked in control and poised to continue on to the knockout stage.

-------------------There was still over half an hour to play, however, and Helmut Vilkaous opted to bring on some experience to see his side home. Youthful winger Jonjo Hulyer was replaced after 65 minutes by World Cup 20 hero and Experienced international winger Tanner Nerni. Nerni's fancy footwork allowed Vilita to keep poss ession down the right hand side for long periods of time, with Nerni wondering if anyone really gives a crap what is being written here and if anyone would notice if he just ran out of the stadium and buried himself under the bleachers. Did it really matter that he was dribbling the ball around? Did it matter that he was the guy who scored the goal that won the world cup. Did anyone give a crap. Did it matter. Did it really freaking matter. No, Nerni told himself. It didn't freaking matter. He walked off the pitch and no one freaking cared.


Full Time Analysis:

Vilita

Best Player: Jimmy Kater
Shots on Target: 8
Corner Kicks: 7

http://www.dirt-racing.com/3wide/sites/vilita/vn/teamsheet.gif
Vilita Jungle Cats (3-5-2) ::
[GK] Jimmy Kater, [D] Ricky Ezis, [D] Andrea Lamberti, [D] Niccoló Mazzeo, [DMC] Daniel Oram, [ML] Antonis Siazzu, [MC] Inaki Soler, [MC] Maurizio Sala, [MR] Jonjo Hulyer, [FC] Callum Banda, [FC] Riccardo Appolloni,
BENCH::
[FC] Mauro Baraza, [FC] Ippolit Adjei, [M] Jacques Vintila, [M] Tanner Nerni, [U] Thierry Columbo, [D] Jaloey Afrikka, [GK] Delain Falcón,

Vilita Substitutions::
(45) - Niccoló Mazzeo >>> Jacques Vintila
(62) - Jonjo Hulyer >>> Tanner Nerni

On board a small airplane, flying from Legalese to Vilita

Redner (to self): Ah, isn’t great to work for rich capitalizts? I’ve got this wonderful personal jet, and Sparky, Pereda, and the rest of the idiots have to drive and get on a ferry!

Radio: This is air traffic control station Sierra-Golf-Charlie-5-Niner-8-1 to unidentified aircraft. You are entering Druidan airspace. Identify yourself!

Redner: This is Capitalizt passenger vehicle Gamma-Delta-Alpha-7-4-2-0-5. Is there a problem?

SGC5981: Yes, of course there’s a problem! You have entered Druidan airspace without a flight plan, in violation of national and international law. You will be escorted to land at Clwd. If you do not cooperate, we will be forced to engage your vehicle.

Redner: This vehicle is in full compliance with all Capitalizt laws. Now I don’t give a slani about Druidan beliefs, laws, or customs—any attempt to engage this vehicle will be considered an act of war against the Capitalizt Defense Alliance!

SGC5981: You are required to comply with Druidan law as long as you are in Druida—

Redner: This vehicle is equipped with a full complement of offensive and defensive weapons. Break off your pursuit. This is your only warning.

SGC5981: Slani Capitalizts…You have clearence to pass through Druidan airspace, as long as you do not land in Druida. Once you’ve made it back home, we’ll be seeing you in court.

Redner: The name’s Darren Redner—with two Rs!

Redner (to self): Slani commies…I bet I’ll have to go through this again in Vilita, and I have to land there…Why does the State need a flight plan, anyway?

On a slightly larger plane, flying from Legalese to Vilita...

Biggles Oaker is flying his national team across Atlantian Oceania to play in the second round of the World Cup, when...

Radio: "This is air traffic control station Sierra-Golf-Charlie-5-Niner-8-1 to unidentified aircraft. You are entering Druidan airspace. Identify yourself!"

Biggles Oaker: "This is OakAir passenger vehicle Omega-Alpha-Kilo-2-2-2-0-4. Is there a problem?"

SGC5981: "Yes, of course there’s a problem! You have entered Druidan airspace without a flight plan, in violation of national and international law. You will be escorted to land at Clwd. If you do not cooperate, we will be forced to engage your vehicle."

Biggles Oaker: "But... we've got a World Cup game to play."

SGC5981: "Well you can play it once you've sorted all the information out."

Biggles Oaker: "Er, OK..."

- - - - - - - - - -

Twenty-five minutes later, the plane is on the ground in Clwd...

Biggles Oaker: "So, er, what seems to be the problem?"

SGC5981: "Well, have you submitted a flight plan so that we know where exactly you're going?"

Biggles Oaker: "Well, no, we only..."

SGC5981: "Only you've only made it to this stage because I intervened with the hosts."

Biggles Oaker: "But... who are you?"

SGC5981: "I can't tell you that. All you need to know is that I'm in with someone in a very high place in this country, OK?"

Biggles Oaker: "Er... OK..."

SGC5981: "Anyway, I'd very much appreciate it if you could put the team manager on, a Mr... Oaker, I believe."

Biggles Oaker: "He's right with me here."

SGC5981: "Good, well, did he hear what I just said? You wouldn't've gotten this far if it wasn't for me!"

Coach Oaker: "But we won fair and square!"

SGC5981: "You mightthink that, but try telling that to the millions of Audioslavians left with their dreams in tatters. Again. You didn't do that. I did."

Coach Oaker: "Look, who are you?"

SGC5981: "You're never going to find that out. All I do is try all I can to win that cup for my country, even tough I can't play. Ever heard of Margaretisation?"

Coach Oaker: "Nope."

SGC5981: "Well, that was m... er, nevermind. Anyway, as you were flying by, and I have your World cup destiny in my hands, I've got a couple of jobs for you to do."

Coach Oaker: "Er... OK..."

SGC5981: "First up, you have to find that damn computer that Siki Rej uses, Hexatux, it's called. We're going to put the best computer whizz in Druida on the plane with you. Take him with you."

Coach Oaker: "And then what?"

SGC5981: "Oh leave the rest to Trevor. Let's put it this way, when Hexatux tells Siki Rej to play 3-4-3, he'll be too confused to know what to do!"

Coach Oaker: "So... can I go now?"

SGC5981: "Of course. If I need you, I know where to contact you."

Coach Oaker: "You do?"

SGC5981: "Yes. I do."

Coach Oaker: " "

SGC5981: "Now, if you don't mind, you have clearance for take off..."

Second Round Scores Telegrammed, Commerce Heights doomed to something bad

Stars send Blades on short trip home, 1-0

Much has been made in Sarzonian circles about the hex the Starblaydi football side has on the Stars. The team has never defeated Starblaydia in AOCAF tournament play, with only a 0-0 draw keeping the team from losing every match. However, the Stars have managed the unusual feat of defeating Starblaydia in each meeting during World Cup competition. They added to that streak tonight, getting a goal from venerable forward Barry Alphonso and a eight save masterpiece from goalkeeper Horace Sandt, winning 1-0.

“This was easily the biggest win in our team’s history,” Coach Dave Wilson said. “We’ve still got a tough road ahead of us with Turori up next and they’re going to come in on a high after beating Lovisa in extra time (2-1). We don’t have much time to celebrate this one, so we’ll be back at it all the earlier tomorrow.”

Sarzonia will be back at it because they managed to win the possession battle, 48 minutes to 42. The Stars will be back thanks to a defence anchored by Sandt that has only yielded two goals in 14 matches (0.14 goals against average). They will be back because the team has begun to settle in with midfielder Darwin Russell wearing the captain’s armband. But just as importantly, they’re sending Starblaydia home because they had revenge on their minds.

“We’ve said all along it’s not a rivalry until we beat them,” Russell said. “This time, we did, and with the stakes going much higher. I’m proud of what we’ve done so far but we’ve got so much more work to do.”

The Stars will face Turori in both the AOCAF tournament and the World Cup, the same double the Stars managed with Starblaydia. The “Blades,” as Sarzonians have taken to calling Starblaydia’s side, won 2-0 in the AOCAF match against the second choice Stars, but the senior team won the game most fans said they wanted most.

“The AOCAF’s nice, don’t get me wrong,” Jeff Bzielak, a sales clerk for Target in Portsmouth said. “But the World Cup is the big tournament. Win this tournament and you’re the best team in the world. Atlantian Oceania is not the world by any stretch.”

Maybe not, but the Stars don’t care, as long as Starblaydia is staying put while Sarzonia continues to lace up their boots.

To: Alvin Ker <a_ker@asword.gov.rd>
From: Chris Gwee <cgwee@cnfc.org.rd>
Subject: match against Reji, we qualify!

i'm sure you heard the news! WE BEAT REJISTANIA... WOOHOO.... it's definitely hard to believe, but for the first time, I actually feel confident we can make the quarterfinals! There seems to be some mixup about whether we are playing Oaker or AS, but once that has been settled, we'll sure be prepared to play against them.






To: Alvin Ker <a_ker@asword.gov.rd>
From: Chris Gwee <cgwee@cnfc.org.rd>
Subject: match against Oaker

It wasn't a good match, I'm afraid.. Oaker thumped us 0-2, making that our 2nd loss of the season, but with really high stakes. Looks like we only have WC23 to look to, and make sure that all ends up fine..

Coach Oaker: "So you're a Druidan Computer Engineer?"

Coach Oaker is stod facing a nine-year-old boy with a briefcase.

DCE: "Yes."

Coach Oaker: "But aren't you a bit... small?"

DCE: "Not for my age."

Coach Oaker: "Oh... er... OK."

DCE: "So do you know where the computer is?"

Coach Oaker: "I think this is it here."

DCE: "OK, well, all I have to do is... there we go. Type it in... 3-4-3... there we go! Done!"

Coach Oaker: "OK, now I don't know much about computers, but surely it should take a little more than that."

DCE: "No. That's it. You can go now."

Coach Oaker: "Er... OK."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The Rejistania football team come into their hotel to prepare for their game against Druida. They're moving from Yeaddin to Turoki Isle for a few days. However, there appears to be a slight problem with the hotel bookings...

Hotel receptionist: "So Mr. Hija, you will be staying in room... (looks at computer screen)... 343. Your keys."

Sayiji Hija: "Thank you."

Hotel receptionist: "Now Mr. Jijil, you will be in room... (looks at screen again)... er, 343. Your keys."

Nenu Jijil: "Thank you."

Hotel Receptionist: "Mr. Seli, room... (looks at screen) 343 for you... no, hold on. Something's wrong here."

At this point Sike Rej pushes through.

Siki Rej: "Look, I don't know what the problem is, but you'd better get it sorted quick, or we'll be finding another hotel."

Hotel Receptionist: "Well, it keeps coming out with room 343 for every booking we have. I don't know what the problem is."

Siki Rej: "Well, we'll have to move to a different hotel. We've got a football match to prepare for, you know?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

To: Coach Oaker <coach@oakerfa.ok>
From: None of your business <i_help_the_president@presidentialoffice.gov.dr>

I got your message saying that you'd done the deed with Hexatux, so I paid the ref in your game to make sure that they went through. Not that you needed it, watching the game, mind. But I did it just in case.

Obvioulsy you didn't. What went wrong? Druida lost! OK, we took it to extra time, but that could've been down to something as simple as a bit of trouble at their hotel the night before. Are you stupid or something? You obviously got the wrong computer or something.

I'll tell you this now - whoever you may be up against next, YOU WILL NOT GET THROUGH! I will make sure of that, no matter what.

Remember, I have your destiny in my hands.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Chemindus Tioxine Plant, Graymouth

Trevor Chem, MD of Chemindus: "Heading this way, you say? And it should be passing overhead tonight, heading out towards Vilita? Right, Mr. President. I'll get back to you when it makes it here."


Two hours later

Trevor Chem: "It's just gone over, took a sharp right turn, it did. Looked like it was going back up the coast... No, I don't know what it is either. It's got me stumped."

The Daily Druid

SYKU AS A PARROT
Liam Gessemschmitthaagen-Po on Rejistania 3 Druida 2 (AET, FT 1-1)

Druida crashed out of World Cup 22 last night as they were beaten in extra time by a tired looking Rejistania side.

The first ninety minutes were tense enough. Druida got a lucky early goal through Ricky Mallon, and from there, proceeded to try to hang on. A silly tactic for a Druidan side. Jiujia Makae pulled it back for the Orange-Blues just before half time, heading home a Nenu Jijil corner. Back to square one.

The second half was largely a midfield battle. Mallon could probably say he was the best of both sides in that area of the park, but only because he threw himself around a lot more than anyone else. Scrappy was the best word for it, as Druida played midfield spoilers while their opponents sat back.

Then, in extra time, Druida appeared to take it a little too easy. Rejistania introduced Syku Hanmatu for the next thirty minutes, taking off a tired Makae. The new girl made all the difference.

It was if the move had taken the Rainbows' back line by surprise. Firstly, she broke free of a sluggish looking Trevor Cwulodden, and latched onto a Kansu Seli long ball before placing an unstoppable shot beyond young Elmo van der Hesselvenatchov in the Druida goal.

Then, moments later, her agility proved too much for Trevor Orange. Orange got too close to her, letting her roll past him and slot past an exposed van der Hesselvenatchov for the second time in as many minutes.

That was it. Druida had to do what they do best now - attack, attack, attack!!! Unfortunately, this ment that Rejistania could do what they do best too - defend, defend, defend!!! Lyku Jen came on for Lyku Sykex to play 5-4-1, while Druida brought on the three Jones brothers for Trevor Ng, Mallon and Cwulodden to go 3-3-4.

It started off well for Druida. Liam Jones' cross in for Dai Jones, and Trefor Defnyddiwch tapped home his header down from all of two feet. Could Druida still do it?

Er, no. It just meant Rejistania would go even more defensive. 6-3-1, deaf defender Haxa I Sira coming on for Vikax Xeki~l. Druida going nowhere except on the next ferry to Port Scadock. Rejistania, meanwhile, follow Oaker and Sarzonia through to the next stage.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In Llllllllllcwllllllll...

Anwir Cymraeg #1: "Lluc!"

Anwir Cymraeg #2: "Ooooh! Do!"

Anwir Cymraeg #1: "Pa beth ef?

*Anwir Cymraeg #2 sticks his tongue out.*

Anwir Cymraeg #1 & #2: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

VILÄMNA DAGENS NYHETER

SECOND ROUND CURSE LIVES ON
Loss to Bedistan mirrors loss to Vilita in last Cup

Svecia 1:3 Bedistan

Once again Svecia progressed to the World Cup second round only to find themselves going home after only 4 World Cup matches. A lot of qualifying for only a little time in the actual host countries. Some day the Lightning hope to make a foray into the quarterfinals again or even beyond again. Maybe. But it was nice to knock off the number one team in the world in the group round. At least the team can go home with a sense of accomplishment this year. The lone bright spot was that defender Gottlieb Frisk scored his first international goal for Svecia when he volleyed home a loose ball in the 72nd minute to cut the score to 2-1 and give Lightning fans some hope that their team could finish the comeback after Bedistan stormed out with goals in the 8th and 16th minutes. They sealed the deal with their third in the 83rd minute.

Pschychoes defeat Terminators

A defeat of hosts Liverpool England sends Squornshelous to their 7th quarterfinal match
It's another 1-0 victory for the Pschychoes as they continue their run for the World Cup. This time, the only goal was by none other than superstar striker Alexander Popov. The game was surprisingly close, with the Liverpool England defense marking Popov at all times, sometimes with two men. As a result of the very defensively minded play fromt he Terminators, there were few chances on either end of the field.
Marko Antropov and the Squornsheal defense were easily able to handle the Liverpool English attack, as there were seldom more than three or four attackers in the area of the goal. The game, being low scoring gradually became a very rough and nastily fought game, with 5 yellow cards being issued.
The first of these bookings came in the first half, when (forward) almost broke through for the Terminators. Sam Fletcher pulled him down from behind and the official's whistle sounded. However, the ensuing free kick was sent high and well wide of the net.
The second half was an ugly mess of fouls, beginning in the 48th, when (midfielder) shouldered Yanni Zikov to the ground as he dribbled forward. Four minutes later, (midifelder) himself was tackled by Akbar Tsang in what the referee ruled a dangerous challenge. Tsang claims it was not a retaliation of any kind, just something that happened in the course of the game. As the ball continued to bounce around in midfield, little was accomplished and quite a few players were subbed out, including Marvin Oonar and Akbar Tsang for the Pschychoes, in favor of Gunnar Thorsen and Antonio Venegas. Yet another yellow was given to Jorge Perez, who was called for a high kick. He was subbed out as well and Petr Skritsch entered the game. Striker Brian Geurrero also went out, replaced by Jerald Nelson.
As the game wore down, Alexander popov finally found a free moment, in which he promptly recieved a pass from Yanni Zikov, as he dribbled into the box, (defender slid in from the side and took him out. After a heated discussion about whether or not the tackle occured just inside or just outside the box, Popov stood at the penalty spot and fired. The ball slapped the back of the net and the referee whistled full time.

Final Score:
Squornshelous 1-0 Liverpool England

Scoring Summary:
SQ: Popov [90]

Booking Summary:
SQ: Fletcher [35]
LE: (midfielder) [48]
SQ: Tsang [52]
SQ: Perez [78]
LE: (defender) [90]

Squornshelous' Scorers:
Popov: 12
Zikov: 6
Guerrero: 5
Oonar: 2
Perez: 1

Up Next:
[B]Oaker
They defeated One Red Dot 2-0 in their second round match and look to be a formidable foe for the Pschychoes.

The Post-Group Stage so far:
Liverpool England Region:
M1 One Red Dot 0-2 Oaker

M2 Druida 2-3 Rejistania

M3 Cristilakere ?-? Raptor Claw

M4 Liverpool England 0-1 Squornshelous

Atlantian Oceania Region:
M5 Svecia 1-3 Bedistan

M6 Turori ?-? Lovisa

M7 Vilita 0-2 Commerce Heights

M8 Sarzonia 1-0 Starblaydia

Quarterfinals:
Q1 - Oaker v Squornshelous
Q2 - Rejistania v Cristilakere
Q3 - Bedistan v Commerce Heights
Q4 - M6 Winner v Sarzonia

After the match, the Orange-Blues did feel optimistic but not in the mood for celebrations. The reason was clear in the country, where karela is a religion: The Orange-Blues conceded 2 goals. Only the fact that the Orange-Blues scored even more was a good thing. The temple commented the match as 'mediocre result' and so celebrations in Rejistania were no as wild as normally after every win of the national team. Learning that the next opponent is the former world champion Crystilakere was also not too good for optimism.

Siki Rej was just eating something as his cell phone rang. As I already told, Siki Rej is a real talent in ignoring the phone, his cell phone especially. but this time, the cell phone rang in a certain interval, as if someone tries, hangs up after three beeps and re-tries. After he did that three times, Siki Rej accepted the call.
"Rejsi su?"
"Nana'namin!"
"Nana janek! il'va su?" (at this time, the narrator sees that he forgot to switch on the translator)
"Jie, sanja'mesit! il su?" (does the translator still not work? Slani! the narrator gives it a clap)
"More or less, you saw it on TV..."
"Meh, did the yellow-hoods cause you much trouble?"
"Nana!"
"I am in Vilita, you are in Li-ve-vu-ul well, in LE! You even use an LEan SIM."
"Don't talk that bad about them, you have to admit that they are great for our tactics!"
"We are becoming tactically predictable!"
"Maybe, most teams are! Druida are a typical lasane hetaki" (we give the translator another clap)
"It is no religion for them!"
"It is an undocumented religion... Anyways, why did you call?"
"Hexatux! He is not working properly! He is 'operation not supported (yet)'-ing!" (bah, this translator is beta!)
"Slani, reboot it and delete the data field, you entered last!"
"k, will do, where can I look where the bug is caused?"
"evaluate_ILS_xkeni, never got it working!"
"Does that bug exist in Hexatux 2 too?"
"slani, no idea!"
He hangs up without a greeting and directly logs into Hexatux 2.
When he did that, he suddenly remembers:
1) it is rude simply to hang up
2) it is especially rude if the person is your daughter
3) due to this bug, he re-wrote the entire file

The Aeropag Tribune—Margaret smiles upon you!

World Cup: Two down, three to go
Second coming of Margaret fuels Capitalizt quest for World Cup
LONNGEYLIN, VILITA—After 45 minutes at The Shultis, one of the largest stadia in Vilita, the Capitalizts were tired, having fought a Karela-like battle against the second-ranked Jungle Cats. At halftime—sponsored by Asgard Technologies, through financial support only—Margaret, who was presumed dead after the submersion of Snub Nose −n, appeared, wearing an unknown uniform with the green of Bedistan, the ugly teal of Vilita, the gold of Commerce Heights, and the blue of Svecia. On the front was the number 2, and on the back was 3. The image did not last for long, but it was long enough to capture photographs detailed enough for Asgard Technologies experts to verify that it was “real” (whatever that means). The Capitalizts seemed strangely inspired by the image—the Vilitans were unaffected, almost like they were influenced by a va’karela—and played a bold offensive strategy that led to two goals in the second half. The events of the halftime show and the second half only confirmed what many members of the Margaret Worship Center in Commerce Heights had suspected, that something paranormal was happening. The numbers two and three, as well as the colors of Margaret’s uniform, opened the eyes of the nation:
The Capitalizts played Vilita in the second round of World Cup 16, and won 2–0. They moved on to play Bedistan in the quarterfinals, and lost 0–3. In World Cup 22, they beat Vilita 2–0 in the second round yesterday, and will move on to play Bedistan.
The Bulldogs/Capitalizts have been ranked 23rd three times and 22nd two times. Four of those five times were pairs of consecutive Cups (World Cups 9 and 10, and 21 and 22), and the other was when the Bulldogs/Capitalizts won World Cup 15. Furthermore, World Cup 16 (when the Capitalizts last played Vilita/Bedistan) is equidistant from World Cups 10 and 22.
In the second game of World Cup 15, the Bulldogs beat Audioslavia for the first and only time in the team’s history. In the third game, they lost to Isles of Wohlstand, the only time that they have lost to a 150th-ranked team. In the 22nd game (the 2nd round), they beat Kaze Progressa, a nation that ceased to exist on the 22nd day of June (the 2∙3-th month) of the year 62.
In World Cup 16, Vilita was ranked 33rd and Bedistan was ranked 2nd. In World Cup 22, Vilita is ranked 2nd and Bedistan is ranked 3rd.
Svecia lost to Vilita in the 2nd round of last Cup and lost to Bedistan (who scored three goals) in the 2nd round of World Cup 22.
The Capitalizts will play Bedistan in the 15th game of World Cup 22, the same number as the Cup that they won.
There are many other demonstrations of Margaret’s long history of intervention on our behalf which this column is too narrow to contain.
(22) Commerce Heights 2 (Jong—or is it Margaret? 58, 71)
(02) Vilita 0—FT

http://bellsouthpwp.net/h/a/harleyt_1387/bsd_banner.png
football

Three is a magic number

VILITA -- The number three team in the world in the official rankings (that's us), playing Svecia for the third time in their history (a nation who, in our previous matchup, defeated us in the third place playoff). Three goals scored for the Lions, by three different scorers playing on three different parts of the pitch (a striker, a winger, and a defender of all things). The result: advancement to the quarterfinals (or third round, if you will) of the 22nd World Cup (lost the three-connection there, but that can be fixed by stating that this is the 18th Cup Bedistan has participated in - three times three times two). And we face a team that we defeated three-nil in the quarterfinals six (three times two) Cups ago as we made our way toward that Cup's final - and how many times have we reached the final? You guessed it - three.

Those of you who have read this morning's Aeropag Tribune out of Commerce Heights might think that we've just copied their idea for our own purposes, but we actually haven't. For one thing, we haven't included all that malarkey about the number two, which has no significance whatsoever. And all followers of the United Bedistani Church of Margaret know that the Second Coming will not occur until the nation of Kaze Progressa rises from the dead. Put simply, the Tribune has published a load of propaganda and hogwash. Two is meaningless, but the power of three is and will remain a strong force for the Lions as they trample the Capitalizts in much the same fashion they did twenty-four (three times eight) years ago.

finalscore
Svecia 1 (Frisk 72 - that's three times twenty-four)
Bedistan 3 (Wilkinson 8, Vantrease 16, Martínez 83)

[Oh, and (not including inside this bracketed thing) we used the number three eighteen times in this article. That's three times three times two. Even including this, it's twenty-one, which is still a multiple of that number. Commerce Heights should watch out!]

The Aeropag Tribune—sponsored by the Margaret Unity Center for Oneness

Business: Tribune, Margaret Worship Center sue Bedistani Digest
AEROPAG, WTI—The Aeropag Tribune and Margaret Worship Center (as featured in yesterday’s World Cup article) were shocked and appalled when they discovered yesterday’s issue of the Bedistan Sport Digest. Inside, in an article about the nation’s recent World Cup match against Svecia, they deny a blatant infringement on the Tribune’s intellectual property. If that was not bad enough, they made the libelous claim that “the Tribune has published a load of propaganda and hogwash.” In addition, the Margaret Worship Center’s good image was destroyed by the heretical claim that the number two “has no significance whatsoever,” and that the Second Coming has not yet happened. In an effort to make the legal system accessible to anyone with a just cause, the Tribune has helped the Center pursue their case, though we cannot say just what that means.

World Cup: Redner: “We are prepared for the quarterfinal”
LONNGEYLIN, VILITA—After a great deal of help from Margaret, the Capitalizts are back in the quarterfinals. Unfortunately, considering their next opponent (Bedistan), they might not be there for long. But Darren Redner, the coach of the Capitalizts, and his experienced staff say they are ready for anything the Lio—uh, Green-Bl—er, Lions can throw at them. “The Lions are coming,” said assistant coach and CEO Matthew Sparks. “And I say, let them come!” The other coaches, notably keepers coach Hipólito Pereda, did not show Sparks’ (known on the team as “Sparky”) enthusiasm, though they are still confident of a win. Back home, various Margaretian places of worship have assured their followers that with Margaret’s help, the Capitalizts will defeat the Lions. Certain extremist groups, among the few people that still practice Capitalizm, have accused Redner of “using the Cup to hide from his court battle with the Druidan government,” though we, as well as Margaret, believe there is little substance to their claims.

Government declares Margaretism heresy

The most glorious government of Rejistania declared that the worship of Margaret is a sin. As high priest Kaxada said: Margaret was only a messenger to the gods, which were called Random number gods. We understand that it is idiotic to kill the messenger if he brings bad news, why don't you see that it is as idiotic to worship the messenger? Rejistania never really was a center of Margaret-bribing or worshipping, even though Margaret found a way into the rejistanian mythology: The minheje Inikresaists were the first to adopt her as messenger to the gods, Hanta-inikresaism is a bit split about her position since she made teams concede. Our glorious government however decided, that the teams, which conceded due to Margaret's intervention deserved it. Margaret is however not divine but only human, and due to that only to be treated with the required respect, not to be worshipped.

The Margaret Unity Center for Oneness issued a statement today regarding the recent actions of the Rejistanian government:

Margaret is no ordinary person—She has risen from the dead! She is not a mere messenger, She is the God of random numbers, in life and beyond! She allowed Aquilla to defeat Busby, she did not just give a rubber chicken and some cash to Her alleged superiors! It is not a sin to worship Margaret—it is a sin to do otherwise! The only reason the Rejistanian government would make this ridiculous decree is to try to undermine the influence of random numbers, to make every match end 0–0! We will not tolerate dissent!

Shark Attack

Stadium: Pinealla International Stadium

Roster:

Carrin Oaker (GK), Torry Oaker (GK), Stef Oaker (D), Gray Oaker (D), Mitel Oaker (D), Orion Oaker (D), Tabby Oaker (D), Freddy Oaker (M), Sport Oaker (M), Venus Oaker (M), Arthin Oaker (M), Kelvin Oaker (M), Raven Oaker (M), Flash Oaker (F), Tip Oaker (F), Cats Oaker (F), Pond Oaker (F)


Oaker 4 Wella 0

After losing one game in qualifying the Sharks made it again to the finals. Oaker are in a very tough group with world cup first and second place Audioslavia and Crystilakere in the way of Oaker making it to the second round. The sharks got to play Wella first and it was an easy victory. Flash Oaker lived up to his reputation and scored three goals for the sharks, while Raven Oaker scored the fourth goal after becoming a substitute in the game. The fans in Liverpool England did not even bother to show up for this game and the official attendance was 12. Oddly, seven of those in attendance were wearing Flash shirts, and the other 5 appeared to be supporters of Melmond who withdrew from the cup and they just wanted someone to root against. Outnumbered by the Flash fans, the melmond folk did not make it out of the stadium.


Crystilakere 2 Oaker 0

The sharks got a wake up call when they played Crystilakere and lost 2-0. After such a good performance in world cup 21, it looked like the end of the road with a very tough game at Audioslavia yet to play. Crystilakere were already qualified and played Wella so it was up to the game between Oaker and Audioslavia, and the winner would go on to the second round. The fans actually cared about this one and the stadium was filled minus the five seats that had to be removed after the incident involving the haters from Melmond.

Audioslavia 1 Oaker 1(2-2 AET; Oaker Advance 6-5 PK)

After the game ended in a draw at 1-1 no one knew what the hell was going on. The players left the field and the fans walked out of the stadium while the reporters declared that Audioslavia had gotten through. The sharks were not done fighting and challenged the Audioslavian team to a decider. The two teams would play an extra match and the winner would get Audioslavia's place in the second round. Just like the first game, Flash's goal kept the sharks in the cup and there was going to be a shootout to find a winner. By this time the fans had found their way back into the stadium and were starting to lose their minds. As the shootout began, fans were hanging from floodlights and climbing on the netting. The first shootout shot by Stef Oaker hit an Audioslavian fan square in the head and knocked him unconscious. Other fans folded the helpless scoundral into a ball and used him as a stepladder to climb higher up the netting.

As the shootout continued, the plastered fans became oblivious to what was going on around them, and no one seemed to care much when Carrin Oaker made the save that won the shootout for the sharks. The fans just kept on climbind on each other and when the field was vacant of players, the fans started jumping off the top of the goal net head first into the ground inside the 18 yard box. It seemed as if the goal was to get the head to land exactly on the penalty spot. Most fans missed and spent the night passed out inside the goal area.

One Red Dot 0 Oaker 2

So with a rather small amount of sane fans remaining in Liverpool England, the games continued with the second round. The sharks were drawn to play One Red Dot who oddly enough have a big red dot on their flag. With none of the crazy jumpers to distract them, Oaker actually performed very well and looked like a group of players who had a chance to win more games as the cup moved on. Flash and Tip Oaker scored for the sharks who advanced to the quarter finals for the second time.

Whether or not it will be a good thing, most of the fans involved in the odd events during the shootout with Audioslavia were back on their feet and headed for the stadium when Oaker play Squornshelous in the quarter final. For those that were really bad, or really good at being crazy depending on the act the game is also going to be televised at the hospital four blocks from the stadium. Any fan taking advantage of this service will be billed per minute for the use of the television.

The Aeropag Tribune—Han-hi-len-ly mer’slani k~hojnahera Margaret!

World Cup: No pleasant suprise against former regional rivals
Accusations, plans of match fixing made

COMMERCE HEIGHTS, CT—The extremist Margaretist movement in Commerce Heights collapsed yesterday, when the Bedistan Lions, former occupier of most of present-day Tingitana, managed to take a hold of one of the numbers worshipped by the cults, defeating the Capitalizts 0–3. The result should come as no surprise to long-time fans of the Capitalizts, who remember the devastating 0–3 loss in the World Cup 16 quarterfinals to the same team. Most of the Margaretists expected the match to end 3–0 in the Capitalizts’ favor, once again ending a run to defend a World Cup title. A few conspiracy theorists have claimed that, since the Capitalizts “clearly” used va’karela’ny to influence their opponents in recent matches, there must have been a technical problem, causing them to work on our team. A more common theory suggests that the match was altered by the controversial RP bonus machine, which is still, for reasons of tradition, present at all World Cup matches. As one Khiousi put it, “t3h h05t5 f1x0r3d 1t!!!!1!1!11!@11!!2” This accusation may not be so unfounded as it seems, considering that a leader in the Commerce Heights Footballing and Soccer Federation was recently expelled for suggesting that, should the World Cup be brought to Commerce Heights (and, as we have recently learned, Krytenia), match-altering technology be used to allow the Capitalizts (or other teams with a sufficiently large discretionary budget) to win.
World Cup (∀n ∈ ℕ, 6n + 10) Quarterfinal:
Commerce Heights 0
Bedistan 3—FT

"I think the time is right now, don't you?"

"Yup."

"Twelve years is long enough for that guy to mess those people around. He's probably driven them all into becoming alcoholics or something."

"Well, you wouldn't be far wrong..."

"Well we both know what he's like. He won't know what's hit him."

"He doesn't most days anyway."

"So when's the next election?"

"Er... four years time."

"What!?!?!?!"

"We had one last week, he won by a landslide. Again."

"But... how?"

"Don't worry, I've got it all under control."

"We're coming in to land!"

"But... where? People'll see you!"

"There's a few little islands to the north of Nova Roma. The smallest one, the more westerly of the northern two, appears to be uninhabited. Looks like the parfect place."

"Well, good luck with it."

Stars slip past Eels into semis

Sarzonia's second choice national team had just defeated Turori 1-0 in the second round of the eighth Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association football tournament and the first choice side was facing Turori in the World Cup quarterfinals in the Stars' first-ever appearance at that stage. Despite conceding only the third goal goalkeeper Horace Sandt has given up during the run of play and despite the crap shoot of penalty kick football, the Stars turned the trick on Turori once again, beating Turori 5-4 in penalties after regulation and extra time ended 1-1.

"I definitely had a lot of stress going in," Coach Dave Wilson said. "We made offencive substitutions to try to win the game before it got that far [in extra time], but we'll take the win." The Stars will face Bedistan, 3-0 winners over World Cup finals groupmates Commerce Heights.

The Stars came out of the gate applying pressure on the Eels' defence seemingly from the opening kickoff. Sarzonia tested goalkeeper Milauo Slietah early and often, but the veteran was up to the task, denying point blank bids by midfielder and team captain Darwin Russell and forward Brian Wilson.

Despite the intense heat put on by the Stars, it was the Eels who drew first blood. Defender Raoibn Olioab won the ball from defender Mike Coyle, who was trying to center a pass to Russell, and started the rush forward. He fed midfielder Christian Briyjao with a textbook wall pass and blasted a shot past Sandt that had the Stars trailing 1-0 after the 39th minute.

"I'd have liked to have had that one back," Sandt said.

"It wasn't Hor's fault," Coyle countered.

The Stars didn't spend much time dwelling on the mistake, however. With stoppage time winding down in the first half, forward Barry Alphonso finally beat Slietah with a chip over the aging veteran for the equalising goal. There was a brief scuffle that led to a yellow card for Russell when he obstructed Olioab's attempt to retrieve the ball quickly to start a last-second attack.

"I wasn't thinking," Russell said.

The second half turned into a back and forth affair that saw both goalkeepers, the young Sandt and the veteran Slietah trade saves. When overtime kicked off, Dave Wilson sent in forward Kenny Cooper, who hadn't played all World Cup, and forward Bruce Badger. Brian Wilson moved back to midfield, while Dix Porter took over for Bobby Convey as the playmaking midfielder. Despite the Sarzonian attempts to end the match in overtime, Turori played for the penalties round, banking on Sarzonia's inexperience in that stage.

However, Sandt made Eels forward Jutar Ranaso, the first shooter of the penalty session, look like a deer caught in the headlights, guessing correctly and spearing his bid to Sandt's left. All five Sarzonian shooters converted their penalty kicks, and the Stars piled on Cooper, the fifth shooter for the Stars.

"We'll take this win and we know we have two matches left," Brian Wilson said. "Turori's a tough side and Bedistan is as well. We know we've got a lot of work ahead of us but we'll be there and we'll keep working until we win the World Cup."

Quarter Final Scores Telegrammed.

The sky was grey and the match against Crystilakere would become a mudfight of the highest quality. The match was about to start and everyone except Siki Rej was already in the room. People became nervous where the system administrator, programmer and soccer coach was and feared the worst but then suddenly, the door swung open and Siki Rej came in. He breathed heavily, apparently he ran faster than a geek of his sort should do. "Slani... system..." he said. It took a while until he could continue: "The tactics, Hexatux proposed were most strangest!" Siki Rej used a second superlative here (a grammatical form, only known in Rejistanian, even though marketing experts in all nations try to make similar forms in advertising) and he did it for a reason. "The Hexatux wants us to play not-league-compatibly: 3-4-3! We have no formation experience! I thought it is a bug in the Hexatux, but it gives us a reason for it!"
"Ah come on!" said defender Redy'he. "What can it say?"
"Crystil lacks tactical versatility, so they expect us to Karela and prepared for that. If we hetaki as if the takilans won the war, we have a good chance to win!" The team looks amazed. One player made a joke wether he was sure that Hexatux really was programmed by Siki Rej.

After the match, the Karelans were shocked and the Takilans pleased: the Orange-Blues won in an insanely attacking match 3:2. No one really understood how they could do it despite the Karelic influence.

Apparently, Semi-Final Scores are available in your Telegram Box.

The Final will be in Liverpool England, and the 3pp0 will be at the Tivali Ring Stadium in Vilita.

Stars tame Bedistan, travel plans

Sarzonia came into its semifinal match against third ranked Bedistan having never defeated a team higher than fifth in the world during World Cup competition, with only a 2-2 draw against Rejistania during World Cup XVIII qualifying and a goalless draw against Dance 2 Revolution in the opener of the group stage in the World Cup XX finals.

They made history with a 1-0 win over the Lions, advancing to face the winner of the Oaker-Rejistania match in Liverpool England.

"That was huge for us," assistant coach Chris Trautwig, who appeared at the press conference while Coach Dave Wilson was delayed. "We laid it all on the line and it feels great to be one of the final two teams to play for the World Cup finals.

When Wilson entered, he apologised, "sorry I'm late. We were nailing down travel arrangements and training facilities," Wilson said, explaining his absence.

"We want to make sure our lads get acclimated to the region and to the time difference, so we're going to leave in a couple of hours. I believe it's better to get over there and get acclimated rather than do everything on the fly at the last minute. We'll give people a chance to get some rest and we'll start training later in the afternoon to give some bodies a chance to recover.

"I'm exhausted," Wilson said, with a tired smile. "But I'm glad to be tired because we've gotten this far. We've got one more match to play and our goal's in sight."

The team started out looking for all the world like it was overmatched against the Lions' onslaught. Bedistan dominated possession and fired 13 shots in the first 50 minutes of the match, forcing goalkeeper Horace Sandt to make seven saves. He finished the match with 11, but the Stars gradually started playing their brand of football.

Forward Brian Wilson scored the only goal of the match in the 88th minute when Dave Wilson sent midfielder "Dix" Porter to report as a substitute, but his goal came before the ball could be sent out of bounds. Porter's role became a more defencive one after Bedistan tried desperately to score an equaliser, but Sandt once more stood tall, denying two point blank bids.

"If we win the World Cup, it will be because of Hor," Brian Wilson said. "He's been huge in this tournament."

His predecessor in goal, Troy Perkins, said he and other former players will attend the final to support the team. Perkins also said he was happy for Sandt.

"Absolutely. Hor's been incredible in there."

W is for 'Why we've not let LE host before? You know now.'
O is for 'Oaker, Oaker, Oaker, Oaker, Oaker...'
R is for 'RP Bonus: We love it!'
S is for 'Sarzonia: An RPing juxtaposition to Oaker.'
T is for 'Trouble this post will cause.'

C is for 'Ctrl+F to Find your Score!'
U is for 'Unpredictability, fine. But Oaker in the final? C'mon!'
P is for 'President? Mister WC President? Help!'

E is for 'Even Less RPs than the last Cup.'
V is for 'Vengence will be mine, sayeth TnUI.'
A is for 'A good cheerleader I would be, but for my 1337 spelling.'
H is for 'Hockey Canada. You know it makes no sense.'

This post brought to you by all the emboldened letters above, and the number 22.

The Aeropag Tribune—Han-hi-len-ly mer’slani k~hojnahera Margaret!

World Cup: No pleasant suprise against former regional rivals
Accusations, plans of match fixing made

COMMERCE HEIGHTS, CT—The extremist Margaretist movement in Commerce Heights collapsed yesterday, when the Bedistan Lions, former occupier of most of present-day Tingitana, managed to take a hold of one of the numbers worshipped by the cults, defeating the Capitalizts 0–3. The result should come as no surprise to long-time fans of the Capitalizts, who remember the devastating 0–3 loss in the World Cup 16 quarterfinals to the same team. Most of the Margaretists expected the match to end 3–0 in the Capitalizts’ favor, once again ending a run to defend a World Cup title. A few conspiracy theorists have claimed that, since the Capitalizts “clearly” used va’karela’ny to influence their opponents in recent matches, there must have been a technical problem, causing them to work on our team. A more common theory suggests that the match was altered by the controversial RP bonus machine, which is still, for reasons of tradition, present at all World Cup matches. As one Khiousi put it, “t3h h05t5 f1x0r3d 1t!!!!1!1!11!@11!!2” This accusation may not be so unfounded as it seems, considering that a leader in the Commerce Heights Footballing and Soccer Federation was recently expelled for suggesting that, should the World Cup be brought to Commerce Heights (and, as we have recently learned, Krytenia), match-altering technology be used to allow the Capitalizts (or other teams with a sufficiently large discretionary budget) to win.
World Cup (∀n ∈ N, 6n + 10) Quarterfinal:
Commerce Heights 0
Bedistan 3—FTWhere was the required stack of small, unmarked bills in a rumpled brown paper sack? One can easily claim to do homage to the random number gods, but the proof, as they say, is in the pudding. No ticky - no shirty.

:cool:

Notes for future reference - - -

1. 23...good numbers to select. and, what would be the next WC? ;)

2. Bedistani / Vilitian / Svecian / Capitalizt colors? Please...Burgundy Robes, Midnight Blue Hooded cape. :rolleyes:

___________________
Margaret
Chief Sacrificial Supplicant to the Random Number Gods
bribes accepted Thursdays, by appointment only
dunno who margaret is? click here (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Margaret)

The curse continues

The referee was clearly bribed, high and Abysmal (skill and country) and due to that, the Rejistanian Orange-Blues had no chance. Even fmjphoenician va'takil'ny were reported to be seen in the stands. Maybe this was the reason why the Orange-Blues again played rather offensively. A suicidal 5-3-2 was played by the Orange-Blues and it had the effect, the opponents desired: The Orange-Blues conceded against Oaker. Even worse: the attack of the Orange-Blues was not really effective and could not capitalize the numerous chances they had - or the referee disallowed them. Kxang, a friend of referee Erg said to the KaMaRi Update: "There were this clean people in his house a few days ago, later, he told me that they offered him money if Rejistania wins. I laughed because as Abysmal he would not-do-it, even do-the-opposite-of-it. Well, I have no idea where he is now... He sent a postcard from Eauz however..." When asked about the names of the persons, he could only remember that neither Syku, Lyku, Daran, Ji, Kansu, Y or Oaker was among them. That means, the persons were neither from Rejistania nor from Oaker. The ASR assumes that an enemy of System Karela wanted to prevent rejistanian win. Random fans said: "Great, now it's down to 90% of the soccer-playing nations!"

The result:
Rejistania 0
Oaker 1 (Oaker 85th)

Stars look to go Shark hunting

With Oaker's stunning 1-0 upset of the world's fifth ranked team Rejistania, the Sarzonian national team will face its first-ever final against the one team remaining past the group stage that was more of a Cinderfella side than they have been in this 22nd World Cup.

Oaker entered the Finals as the 21st ranked side in the world while the Stars were ranked 14th. While Sarzonia dominated Region 8, finishing 9-1-1 and only conceding an own goal to Spaam during qualifying, Oaker finished 5-4-1, with 12 goals for and seven against for a plus five goal differential to Sarzonia's plus 20.

Once the teams entered the World Cup finals group stage, they also had divergent paths: Sarzonia breezed through Group G, winning two and drawing one, against Commerce Heights, while Oaker advanced only after several teams protested World Cup organisers' efforts to send Audioslavia through based on a random tiebreaking procedure. Oaker then knocked One Red Dot and Squornshelous out before their upset of Rejistania.

For its part, the Stars played favourites, beating 15th ranked Starblaydia 1-0, then turned underdog, outlasting Turori 5-4 in penalties after regulation and extra time ended 1-1. Then, the Stars pulled off their own shocker, beating third ranked Bedistan. Now, the Stars come in reverting to their role as favourites as the higher ranked side, but Coach Dave Wilson is preaching caution.

"We've seen what Oaker was able to do against Rejistania," Wilson said. "They've caught several teams unawares and we can't let that happen. They're an outstanding side."

Sarzonia will not make any drastic changes to its lineup, Wilson said.

"We're going to dance with who brung us here, and that's our defence," he said. The Stars have based their tournament run on a backline and midfield play that has "stumbled upon Karela," assistant coach Chris Trautwig said. More accurately, it's stumbled upon a goalkeeping hero in Horace Sandt, who was an understudy to legendary keeper Troy Perkins two Cups ago.

"Hor's definitely out of Troy's shadow now," forward Brian Wilson, the coach's son, said. "Down the road, people are going to be talking about the next Horace Sandt."

"I don't let any of that get in my head," Sandt said. "The way I look at it, we've got 90 minutes of football left to make a statement. We want to get off on the right foot and bring a World Cup to Sarzonia for the first time."

Regardless of what happens in the final, these Stars have left a legacy to remember, as Dave Wilson cast off the shadow cast by the late Bryan Marshall, taking the team to the Finals four straight times after a Cup of Harmony title the last time the Stars missed out on the World Cup.

"Bryan played a huge part in building this programme from the ground up," Dave Wilson said. "We all owe a huge debt to Bryan. I've just tried to be my own man on the sidelines and in practice."

The team has also invited Legalese Coach Barry Owens, the former top assistant to Dave Wilson, to attend the final in Liverpool England.

"He's also played a huge role in developing this programme," Dave Wilson said. "The players all love and respect him and he's still a Sarzonian."

CHFF president Lance Lasala finds the rumpled brown paper sack in which he brought his lunch to the office. Instead of a sandwich, he finds a note signed “The True Followers of Margaret.” He takes the note and puts it through the paper shredder, then writes a reply and puts it in the sack:

Where was the required stack of small, unmarked bills in a rumpled brown paper sack?
Who needs bills when you can send gold?

2. Bedistani / Vilitian / Svecian / Comercial Heighthian (?) colors? Please...Burgundy Robes, Midnight Blue Hooded cape. :rolleyes:
[CHian == Capitalizt, with a capital C and a lowercase z]
Perhaps it was a conspiracy by Asgard Technologies, not an actual appearance of Margaret? Not that we’d want to spread any conspiracy theories, but it’s just a thought…

Before the Rejistania v Oaker Game...

Kxang, a friend of referee Erg said to the KaMaRi Update: "There were this clean people in his house a few days ago, later, he told me that they offered him money if Rejistania wins. I laughed because as Abysmal he would not-do-it, even do-the-opposite-of-it. Well, I have no idea where he is now... He sent a postcard from Eauz however..."


Before the Rejistania v Oaker Game...

Dear Erg,

I hear that you are refereeing the World Cup Semi-final between Rejistania and Oaker. Only under no circumstances must you let Oaker qualify for the final.

You see, I am Druidan, and I had a deal with the Oaker coach that he would help us break the Rejistania teams computer/manager Hexatux. He failed in that little mission, and now it is Rejistania who are facing their team in the semis, not us.

We blame Coach Oaker for this, and so it is my sole aim to stop Oaker from winning this cup. Therefore I would like to pay you, in Druidan cwuls, a substantial amount to make sure that Rejistania make the final. Say 100,000?

Thank you for your co-operation,

The Druidan Presidential Office.

P.S. Sorry about the postcard. It was just lying around on the President's desk. Why there's a picture of some communist guy on the front is anyone's guess. Though, knowing President Smith as I do, I expect he probably liked his hat.

P.P.S. As you're Abysmal, I've written in pencil so you can rub all this out and use it again. Handy eh?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After the game...

Dear Erg,

How could you get it so unbelieveably wrong? That was the worst display of refereeing I have ever seen, and it was all against the Orange-Blues. You screwed up. No money for you, I'm afraid. However, I have included a one-way plain ticket from Liverpool England to Eauz for you. They are communist there, so you might learn a little more about equality, and next time not be so bloody biased!!!

I will now have to find another plan to make sure that Sarzonia win the World Cup.

Yours angrily,

The Druidan Presidential Office.

P.S. As you can see, this is a much nicer postcard of downtown Cefn and the famous Viaduct. unfotunately, I have written on it in ink this time, just to annoy you.

Dear Mr. Erg,

I must apologise for the recent postcards you received from us here at the Druidan Presidential Office. We understand the distress and confusion we must have caused you by mistaking you, Gareth Erg, goalkeeper for NEWI Cefn Druids at World Cups 12-14 (and most terrible you were too, may I say) with Erg, the World cup semi-final referee.

Of course, the football link and your Abysmal blood line are two things you had in common, but it is still a very silly mistake to make. But then, we are Druidan, so perhaps not.

Anyway, find enclosed a ticket home from Eauz. We don't want you to go on holiday to a communist paradise without being able to get home, now!

Yours

The Druidan Presidential Office.

Shark Attack

Dear the Druidan Presidential Office,

We are sorry that we were unable to break the computer/manager Hexatux prior to your match againt the team. Of course, we would have much liked to succeed with this mission. Any half brained Oaker knows that Druida will never be as good as Rejistania, so it would have been beneficial for Oaker to face Druida in the semi final. The sharks were as dissapointed as anyone else to see the match end the way that it did. You will be happy to take some joy however, a light fixture at the stadium broke free in the high winds and crushed the hexatux motherboard. I guess that's why they always say don't get a computer to do an Oaker's job.

We understand your dissapointment at not getting through to the semi final, and take partial responsibility for this. Since you had no chance of beating the killer sharks of Oaker, It was probably for the best that you got out as early as you could. You wouldn't want your own manager lying in state like that dumb computer, would you?

Better luck next time,

The killer Oaker sharks.

Dear referee Erg,

Thank you for your assistance, I hope your wife likes the reward.

As for the evidence, we are afraid it all must be washed away. I know what you are thinking. The papers, the e-mails and the tapes. Yes, they are all destroyed. That leaves just you and us Erg. Guess what? Theres eleven of us, and just one of you. Don't try to run, we're right outside the door.

Goodbye Erg.

The killer Oaker sharks.

Dear Killer Oaker Sharks,

As you know, I have been in regular correspondence telling you that I had complete control over your destiny in this cup.

I would now like to tell you that, actually, I am a complete fraud. OK, I did give a couple of referees bribes to make sure you got through, but from watching the games I needent have bothered.

Anyway, congratulations on reaching the final, and may the best team win.

Sorry to trouble you again,

The Druidan Presidential Office.

P.S. I wish you had knocked our manager out. Trevor Belmore is pretty damn useless, if you ask me, but we can't get rid of him. If you want to join us in a plot to... y'know, get rid of him, we'd be more than happy to have your help.

Shark Attack

Dear The Druidan Presidential Office,


The killer Oaker sharks would be more than happy to help you do away with Trevor Belmore. Normally we would help you out right now, but we've got a bit of an important game coming up and it may be best to hold off until afterwards to get into the dirty work. You see the Sarzonia team is coming to play the sharks in the world cup final and they think they are going to beat us good. To be honest they are better than us, but so was Rejistania. Perhaps some assistance from Druida would be nice. We've seen how influential your bribes can be. The sharks would love if you could bribe all the refs to make Sarzonia win, because the sharks would then be sure of glory.

Pleasure doing business,

The killer Oaker sharks

To: The Oaker Sharks football team <killersharks@oakerfa.oa>
From: Me <noneofyourbusiness@presidentialoffice.gov.dr>

Well, I would help you, but is our help on getting you this far not appreciated? OK, you were the better team in all the games except the last one, and that was down to a dodgy referee that turned out to be nothing to with us.

But still. It doesn't matter about Belmore any more. The DFA have sacked him. Rumour has it that Trefor "Elastic" Edwards is going to retire from South Coast United in Bedistan to manage our team.

But enough about that. Sorry, but can't help you on the final. We know how uninfluential we actually are now, so I guess we'll just have to let things be and see you in WC23 qualifying.

To: World Cup Committee
From: Terry Mangione
Chairman, Incorporated Football Federation
Subject: Bribery allegations

It has been rumoured by various circles within the World Cup community that several nations are involved in some bribery plot that threatens to denigrate the integrity of the World Cup Finals. One of our sources who asked not to be identified, except she chose to call herself Margaret, tells us that Oaker is involved in some form of bribery with the officials and the referees were apparently asked to influence the semifinal between Rejistania and Oaker.

Let it be known that the Incorporated Football Federation does not take kindly to this naked assault on the sanctity of athletic competition. We are incensed at any remote possibility that the outcome of the World Cup championship match could be determined by anything other than the tactics of the coaching staffs or by the dint of sweat by the lads and lasses who play the game we grew up with.

Let it be known that we intend to file a protest with the WCC in the event of excessively questionable calls on either side, whether they favour us or Oaker. We believe that these twisted plots sully what is truly the beautiful game and must be stopped immediately.

The final has been telegrammed, with what I believe to be the biggest final win ever. Congrats to one and all!

To: World Cup Committee
From: Terry Mangione
Chairman, Incorporated Football Federation
Subject: Bribery allegations

It has been rumoured by various circles within the World Cup community that several nations are involved in some bribery plot that threatens to denigrate the integrity of the World Cup Finals. One of our sources who asked not to be identified, except she chose to call herself Margaret, tells us that Oaker is involved in some form of bribery with the officials and the referees were apparently asked to influence the semifinal between Rejistania and Oaker.

Let it be known that the Incorporated Football Federation does not take kindly to this naked assault on the sanctity of athletic competition. We are incensed at any remote possibility that the outcome of the World Cup championship match could be determined by anything other than the tactics of the coaching staffs or by the dint of sweat by the lads and lasses who play the game we grew up with.

Let it be known that we intend to file a protest with the WCC in the event of excessively questionable calls on either side, whether they favour us or Oaker. We believe that these twisted plots sully what is truly the beautiful game and must be stopped immediately.
Margaretism
Theocracy by Name
Football by Game
population: 1

To: Terry Mangione
Chairman, Incorporated Football Federation
Sarzonia
Re: Allegations of Bribery Allegations

Sir or Madam, as the case may be I mean, Terry...give us a hint:

In regards to your recent memorandum to the World Cup Committee, in which you allegedly allege allegations of bribery are running rampant through the world of international football. You suggestively suggest that certain un-named nations, in collusion with someone (known, apparently, only as "Margaret") or something - who reportedly reported (or, may not have - alleged reports suggest we can't be sure) to Sarzonian officials that bribery, gasp!, manifested as questionable calls during various football matches, existed, will continue to exist, and exists now throughout the World Cup games.

What - you guys just woke up? Er...no, I mean to say...um...of course these allegations are totally false. What can you be thinking? Officials of World Cup Football are carefully selected from a large pool of available nincompoops...strike that...replace with "highly competent candidates", who are rigorously screened (with a real screen) to ensure this kind of thing can never happen.

Except on Thursdays, or course or on days spelled with a "d".

"It never happened. It will never happen. It isn't happening now."

We hope this has allayed your fears and ensured that those little brown sacks full of unmarked bills will keep coming in.

Spectraly Yours,
with the Best for Football (and our pocketbook) always foremost in our mind,

Margaret
Theocrat
and Spiritual...er...spirit

STARSHINE
Stars take trophy, 4-0

Amidst controversy surrounding a World Cup that some claimed was the worst in history, along with allegations of bribery that threatened to sully the reputation of World Cup organisers and officials, the Sarzonian national team put everything from the negativity surrounding the tournament to its own demons aside, dominating the Oaker Sharks from the opening kickoff and winning the World Cup XXII final 4-0, in what some statisticians think is a record for widest margin of victory.

"I'm not worried about records like that," a jubilant Coach Dave Wilson said. "I'm proud of our lads for pulling everything together and playing some of the best football I've ever seen us play. We deserved to be champions."

Sarzonia deserved to be champions because the team only conceded three goals in the run of play in 17 matches. Sarzonia outscored its opponents 33-3 in those matches, thanks in large part to tournament Most Outstanding Player Horace Sandt (four saves), who finished with 14 clean sheets in the tournament and ended up with a 0.11 goals against average.

"Hor was the star of the tournament, bar none," forward Brian Wilson (three goals) said. "Nothing I did in this match could compare to the way Hor played the whole tournament."

Sarzonia had earned a reputation for being a hard-working, talented side that could never put it all together and was snakebitten when it came to winning the games it had to win. But they set out to end that curse right from the get-go, getting the first shot on goal just 45 seconds after the opening kickoff and the first goal of the match just four minutes in. Midfielder and team captain Darwin Russell fed Brian Wilson with a tremendous wall pass that the former captain controlled and lifted the shot over the Oaker goalkeeper for a 1-0 lead.

Sarzonia didn't stop there. They scored another two goals just three minutes apart, courtesy of strike partner Barry Alphonso and Brian Wilson, and just 21 minutes in, the Stars enjoyed a 3-0 lead. They continued to press for more, but Oaker's goalkeeper showed flashes of brilliance, making two point blank stops before the half ended with the Stars up 3-0.

The Stars raced out to start the second half in an apparent effort to bury the Sharks. They did that when Wilson secured his hat trick in the 58th minute after a defencive breakdown led to a breakaway goal. From there, it was up to Sandt to keep the Sharks from tasting the goal and the young former understudy to Troy Perkins was more than equal to the task.

When the final gun sounded, the entire Stars roster piled on top of each other near the center circle, while Dave Wilson and the coaching staff hugged each other on the sidelines. Dave Wilson turned and flashed a thumbs up to former assistant coach Barry Owens and then pointed his index finger to the sky.

"That was for [late Coach Bryan Marshall]," Dave Wilson said. "He was the reason our football program got started and he had a lot to do with this," he said, holding the World Cup trophy that had been engraved with Sarzonia as the champions. "This is a great day in Sarzonia's history."

From the brand-new Columbia Times bestseller Kittens to Kings: The Bedistan National Football Team, 2004-2074, pages 1643-1644:

Chapter 85: World Cup Twenty-two in Review

Well, it hadn't been the best World Cup performance in Bedistani history. Of course, with the best performance being actually taking home the cup, it was kinda difficult to top that. Still, Lions fans all over the world were hoping that the task could be duplicated to bring even more glory to Bedistan and Atlantian Oceania. Alas, in the case of the former, a hard-fought and well-earned one-nil victory for Sarzonia in the semifinals ended that dream. But Bedistanis are known for never giving up even after a defeat, and they displayed that well by successfully sending not one, but two goals past the Rejistanian defense (that's redundant, but I'll leave it in anyway) with no reply in the third-place playoff. You can bet the monks weren't happy about that one. Still, on the whole, it hadn't been bad. Nobody can be disappointed with a top three finish in this competition. And besides, we'd beaten Commerce Heights three-nil again, which was awesome.

With the end of the World Cup came, as always, retirements. And they were hard ones to deal with. To be sure, the Lions' defense didn't tend to receive a whole lot of recognition, but that's not because of a lack of ability, just a more attacking mindset present in Bedistan, much like in Cockbill Street and Fmjphoenix. The fans could still recognize a good defense and good defensive players when they saw them, and tears were shed when the retirement of central defender Tara Pullman was announced there on the pitch in Vilita after the Rejistania game. At thirty-seven, she felt that it was time to make way for younger players. Kyle Dean, thirty-six, was also to leave the team. Despite being a starting forward, he nevertheless played a minor role on the team in World Cup XXII, and with his abilities continuing to diminish with age, he would not have the staying power needed in Twenty-three. Then came two additional retirements from the substitutes bench. Offensive San Diego midfielder Tim Veller, a starting forward a couple Cups back, never really did have what it took to be an integral part of the team. Nor did striker Darren Morlock Jr. During his entire tenure on the national team, controversy continued to rage over whether he really earned his spot or whether he was named to the team purely on the basis of name recognition, due to his father being one of the greatest footballers in the nation's history. In his case we may never know.

But the most recognized graduate of the class of '74 was the one whose retirement was certainly no secret. In addition to being one of the Bedistani national team's greatest players, she had shined for several years with Vimesbairn United in Cockbill Street before retiring from there a year or two before the World Cup proper. Vanessa Carpenter's standing ovation lasted no fewer than seven minutes. As the undisputed best female Bedistani striker of all time, she had written herself into a list of greats such as Bream, Barber, Lewis, Whitehurst, Briscoe, Saravia, Yu, and Morlock. Her presence will surely be missed in World Cup XXIII.

But all is not lost. Nick Reagan has agreed to give it one more go between the posts, even though he will be thirty-nine when World Cup XXIII proper rollls around. Yeaddin Owls sensation Alejandro Vantrease still has at least one more Cup in him, perhaps even two. And there's enough depth to the Bedistani national team selection pool that we have nothing to worry about, especially with likely new starters such as Tony Orr and Gina Zamboni. Can we win our second World Cup and the fifth consecutive Cup for Atlantian Oceania? We'll just have to wait and see.